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A big bang.
Fireworks have begun. Explosions rang out in quick succession, lighting up the night sky.
Looking up at it, Homura involuntarily held her breath.
“So another year has passed, right?”
The gentle warmth touched Homura's cold hands and warmed them. Homura clenched her fists tighter as a response. Then she turned, beside her was her beloved girl.
“…Yes, Madoka.”
"Really fast, huh?"
"Right." Yes it was so fast, so fast that Homura wished he could once again have the magic to stop time, to be able to preserve this moment forever.
But that is not possible. Even being a demon it has its limits and it is not allowed to have too much influence on the universe. If you touch too much on the laws of the world, the consequences will fall.
It could be a deprivation of the right to exist. It could also be taking on its suffering.
Only fools do that.
"What do you think Sayaka and Kyoko are doing right now?" Homura flicked her hair lightly with her free hand .
Madoka smiled. “Perhaps like us, watching fireworks somewhere? After all, it's a waste to miss it. It is so beautiful.”
“Then they should accept your invitation.” Homura smirked. "Guess those lovebirds want some privacy . "
Homura felt satisfied hearing Madoka's giggle beside him.
“Sayaka-chan and Kyoko-chan have both changed a lot, haven't they? I was surprised too, but I was surprised when they two became a couple.”
"Yeah, that's a blessing."
“Are you surprised, Homura-chan?”
"I don't."
"Why?"
It is not something that can be hidden. But Homura felt hesitant. Maybe because she feel that if she say it out, everything will end faster than it could.
Homura stroked the end of her hair, twisting it into small loops on his fingers . There's no problem with her hair but when she lacks confidence and needs courage, she does it.
It also just happens to be one of the habits she forms in her life cycle, like her expressionless face or heart .
Now the smile.
“…What a pity…The fireworks are over.” Homura's mouth still curled up into a perfect curve. The surrounding space gradually darkened with the only light coming from the street lamps.
But it's not like Madoka would be comfortable with it.
The pink haired girl looked at Homura, the girl didn't smile, her expression was never as unpredictable as now.
"Let's go, Madoka." Homura grabbed Homura's hand and pulled her away, her hand gripping the small but smooth hand, she wasn't shaking but deep inside she was scared.
Please don't leave.
Stay with me.
Prayers cannot be put into words. Even if it was possible, it was hopeless.
It's nauseating.
"Where are you taking me?" Madoka's voice was even.
"…Go home…?"
Despite Homura's not-so-confident statement. Madoka still nodded silently. Then she grabbed the black-haired girl.
“Take it easy, Homura. It's not that late, we have plenty of time. Let's walk together."
Madoka approached Homura's side. Not the back or the front.
"You're joking."
There was weariness in his words, but Homura slowed down.
The two walked side by side without saying a word. Their hands were still holding each other. The silence made Homura feel heavy. She had thought that something would definitely happen, but nothing happened, and the more time went on, the more nervous Homura became. She hated this fake peace, hard to break but easy to fall apart.
What are they going to do? She wondered.
"Calm down, Homura-chan." Madoka's fingertips stroked lightly along the back of Homura's hand . Pleasant, Homura thought. "Nothing will happen now."
But in the future there will be. Homura didn't say it. She just nodded silently accepting the words of the person next to her.
They used to disagree on many things, but right now, Homura wasn't sure, maybe both of them were thinking the same thing.
Please allow this period of time to extend, even if only a little.
But it's hard, time is the only thing that Homura doesn't have. By this point, she felt herself nauseous.
Everything must come to an end.
Because of that…
The black-haired girl wanted to do one thing, or else she would regret it for the rest of her life.
“Hey…Madoka”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“…Feel free, Homura-chan.”
Homura stopped. She looked straight into the face of the girl she had sworn to protect for the rest of her life. There was a dim light around that girl, a light she couldn't have of her own no matter how hard she tried.
Because she's Madoka.
"Madoka, what am I to you?"
Surprise, confusion, fear, and ultimately sadness. Homura captured every wavering emotion in those eyes.
For a moment, as if she had calmed down, Madoka spoke softly.
“…Homura is really cowardly, aren’t you?” It's not like blaming Homura. There is regret in that statement.
"I won’t negate."
Homura wouldn't deny it. After all, after all, she was still the same little girl from the ward, cowardly and weak. She made fun of herself, even in this fake world, even when she betrayed the girl she loved the most, becoming the person who stayed by her side for 4 years, or maybe 12 years if you add 8 years in the loop… Homura still never had the courage to ask Madoka how she feels about her. They kept hovering somewhere in the friendship, even though the love in Homura grew bigger and bigger.
But there was no more time to hesitate.
“…But even so, tell me, what am I to you, Madoka?” Homura urged.
Her response was silence. Of Madoka, and the space around them.
What is Homura Akemi to Madoka Kaname?
A mysterious girl, cold, ruthless, benefactor , and best friend.
Maybe just stop there.
The girl knows a lot about Homura, but has never been clear about her final feelings for her.
At the moment of granting the wish, Madoka Kaname probably didn't have much time left.
The best friend. Those were the last things Madoka called about their relationship.
Forever is just that.
Madoka Kaname's time is probably over.
Who I am?
That is the question I always ask myself.
I was born from the void of the universe, I have the memories of Kaname Madoka, a girl who does not exist in this world, and the memories of her world, a world that does not exist.
And I always have a question like this: Are those memories really true?
After all, there is nothing to verify them. No one knows, even if you ask thousands of girls who come here, the answer will only be one.
Unbelievable.
It's been like this for millions of years, I wonder if I'm really Madoka Kaname. Assuming the memories I keep are fake, then who am I?
I don't understand why I'm so attracted to that question. But no matter how long, it pops into my head every now and then.
I do not understand. Even I know it, what will change? I will continue my mission: Save the magical girls and bring them to heaven.
Even if I call myself Madoka or if they call me Law of Cycles.
Nothing will change.
But…
But…?
She appeared again, Homura Akemi. I'm not surprised, the people I saw in the old world like my parents, Sayaka, Mami or Kyoko all exist, of course she will too.
But she is special.
Homura was Homura until she was 14 years old and moved to Mitakihara. But after Sayaka passed away at the railway station, she was Homura in a world that never existed.
She whispered Madoka's name and burst into tears at the red ribbon.
Hearing those words, it felt as if something inside of me was released. It was as if I had unpacked a sealed gift box. A feeling that I will remember forever.
I'm really Madoka Kaname, my contract isn't fake and I'm not a clown. It really made me happier than I expected.
I wanted to hug Homura, but I'm no longer human, so I can't. So I saved that for the day she fell from despair.
Until then, I hope she will live well. This immortal life in heaven is not the same as life in the world, but when death comes, there will always be people you will never see again. Homura should cherish and enjoy this life, making up for her losses and sacrifices.
No need to rush. We will always have plenty of time after that.
Wish I could have said that to Homura. To be able to stop her from going into wars. To stop her from tormenting herself with memories of a place that no longer exists. Let her no longer feel lonely and lost in this new world. So that she doesn't have to despair because what she does is meaningless. In the end, he fell into the hands of the Incubator and continued to torture himself like this.
Homura is the only one that I regret in my life.
I was the reason she started this tragic story, but in the end, there was nothing I could do for her.
As if I'm still the useless little girl I used to be, I send magical girls to heaven, but only the most important person I can't erase the hurt inside her.
There was a long silence, then Madoka spoke.
"Do you know, Homura-chan. I've been really happy these four years."
Her pink eyes shone with a golden glow. Homura thought it was beautiful. But actually she liked everything about Madoka, so that's normal.
“I met my family again, my parents and Tatsuya. I remember hugging them and crying a lot, which at the time I couldn't understand why. It feels both warm and strange to wake my mom up, make breakfast with my dad, say hello to them, and go to school.”
“The coming May makes me surprised by the coming summer. It's been a long time since I've felt the sun on my skin." While saying that, Madoka pulled the already close distance between the two of them.
“Then the summer festival came. I've seen it so many times but to feel it firsthand, with you and everyone, I'm happy."
Madoka wrapped his arms around Homura, hugging him tightly. Her forehead pressed against Homura's shoulder, feeling the familiar scent that always made her feel at ease.
“We spent the winter break together. Remember, at that time you invited me and everyone to go to Hokkaido. He taught me how to ski. And Sayaka-chan and Kyoko-chan are competing to see who can ski faster."
“Then we celebrate the new year at Mami-san's house. Staying up late, chatting until the next morning no one can get up except you."
“And then you gave me a surprise birthday party, Homura-chan. A hand-made scarf. It's strange how it fits me so unexpectedly. But since it's Homura-chan, I'm not surprised."
And many, many more memories. Memories that Law of Cycles will never know.
Something cracked.
"They're here," Homura muttered.
Madoka felt regretful and helpless. Words caught in the throat. They weren't wrong, but she wished she could scream and ask them to stop.
Why can't they just let us be together a little longer.
There were still many things she wanted to tell Homura. And Homura certainly had a lot to say to her as well.
Homura's isolation space was gradually broken by a lot of energy from the magical girls outside. The faithful angel girls, whom Homura could not be, are working hard in the hope of being able to rescue their goddess.
Homura neither attacked nor got angry with them. She was just trying to be as defensive as possible. Because she knew she was the one who was wrong.
Because she is a traitor to the selfless heart of the goddess. She offends her wishes and pulls her from her mission because of her fantasies.
Because the goddess's love was for all magical girls and she monopolized it for herself. Their despair filled her feet.
A selfish and lying devil. The complete opposite of the kind and selfless god.
But even so…Homura still wished that…
That the girl would care about her, more than anyone else.
That somewhere in that girl's heart, there will always have her .
That one day, instead of the world, that girl would choose her.
Smile and say that you are more important than this cruel world.
Homura wants Madoka to love her. That's it. In the end it was just that, the desire to protect Madoka probably existed somewhere in her. But now it was like an excuse for her to indulge her feelings.
Something soft touched Homura's lips. The feeling of warmth transmitted is very pleasant.
It took a moment for Homura to realize that Madoka was kissing her.
Madoka…kissed…her…
She hesitated, then parted her lips a little. The infusion of the hot body heat brings a sense of comfort to the mind.
God if you exist, let this moment last longer.
When the kiss ended, Homura noticed that Madoka's eyes were filled with tears.
"I love you Homura."
Homura burst into tears.
“Me too, Madoka. I love you very much. ". She hugged the girl who was about to leave her. “Sorry…Sorry…Sorry…”
The apology kept repeating on Homura's lips.
She regrets.
If that day she had overcome her inner despair, perhaps they could have come together.
This moment may have been forever.
If she could go back to that time, Homura would definitely choose another path.
She will not betray or deceive anyone.
How good ending could have been.
“Madoka! Where are you, answer me! We're here to save you!"
“Look, I see her!”
“Take your hands off her, Homura Akemi!”
The night sky of the summer day appeared before them.
The barrier has been destroyed. And next will be her maze. It's time to pay for her sins.
But at least the devil was able to relax and smile a little.
I wonder what 'happiness' is.
It is the bright sunbeams of May.
It is a warm family.
It is sunny-side up eggs for breakfast.
But the heaven has none of those things.
Recently Madoka saw a strange bird. It's black, probably crow.
Birds Madoka sees a lot when flying in the sky. In her paradise there are also many birds to add vibrancy to the place. But a crow is nothing like what Madoka would create for her paradise. Many magical girls still have the notion that crows are unlucky creatures,
Whether the crow knew about it or not, she didn't know, but the times she saw it, it was in a secluded place, or in a hidden corner.
Madoka named it Kuro.
"Come again, Kuro?"
For some reasons, the crow seemed to like Madoka. Every time she came to this flower field, the crow would swoop down beside her.
And it sings.
Madoka doesn't remember that crows can naturally sing, but this crow does sing really well.
Madoka will give her a few pounds of meat if the crow is interested in food. Unfortunately it doesn't.
Instead she stroked its head and stroked its soft fur. The crow is like a cat, it squeals happily.
That's not something the crow will show to others. If someone approached, the crow would always fly away. Madoka was a little proud that she was the only one noticed by this particular bird.
It reminded her of Homura.
In a certain loop, Homura once told her that she liked singing but she only sang for Madoka. She also liked a field of flowers. Kuro usually flies around this flower field and comes to Madoka's side whenever she comes here.
This is one of the places Madoka created first. Waiting for Homura to come and the two of them will also walk in this place. Both will have a picnic and spend time doing something fun here.
Yet at the last minute, only Madoka and Kuro remained in this field.
Madoka wondered that, when she had become Law of Cycles and accepted to bring Homura along , perhaps this plan would have been completed long ago.