I should have known

by Acollectiveoflostsouls

Summary:

Damian goes to the doctor for a regular physical for the first time. He isn't sure what to expect so he simply did as he was instructed, even if he did not want to. the doctor took advantage of that, to use Damian for his own sick desires.
-
Damian doesn't know how to process these events so he goes to his family for guidance.

Notes:

Damian is 10 in this fic. he's been living with Bruce for about a year now.
-
this is not mean to be porn or smut but it is very graphic. although the situation is sexual in nature it is not mean to be sexualized. Damian is a CHILD and he was HURT and it is pretty graphic.

all my fics of this nature are based off of my terrible feelings and bad memories. they are mostly vent fics and are filled with fluff because I want a happy ending like these characters. if I cant, at least they can and I can try and live vicariously.

Chapter 1: I only did what I was told

Daminan waited in the back seat with irritation in his mind. All of this seemed impractical, stupid even. He did not need to see a doctor. Alfred was right at home and they had all the equipment necessary to scan his health, already right at the mansion. Father had said it was for appearances and all of his older brothers had gone as well for a yearly physical for school records.

Damian could suppose that it made sense in that aspect. But he still didn't want to waste his time like this. The worst part of all of this is that no one had time to give him a ride except Jason. And it was obvious jason wanted to be there as much as Damian did. He supposed it could be worse… It could have been Timothy here instead. Damian was thankful that was not the case.

Once in the office we checked in and sat to wait. “Tt, we arrive on time yet we still have to wait?” Damian spat and crossed arms in a small pout. “Really kid? You've never been to the doctors before?” Jason says and Damian isn't sure if the question was genuine or not. “Do you think I have? I'm not even from America!” Damian groans at Jason's stupidity. “Oops… i guess i forget” Jayson says sheepishly and Damian rolls his eyes.

Damians had been living with Bruce and his new brothers for a little under a year, he was still getting used to Jason since he didn't come around much. Jason was a hard shell to crack but at least Damian now understands that Jason never held any resentment towards Damian for being his father's son, or even being the grandson of Ra's al ghul. Despite how much Jason resented them or how childishly emotional he seemed. Jason always treated Damian as his own person and Damian respected him for that.

Silence had fallen between them and it made Jason uncomfortable. He shifted unsure what to say. Jason wasn't around much and barely knew the boy but he was actually excited to have a new little brother. Although no one would think it. Jason had gotten over the whole ‘replacement robin’ thing. He just teased Tim about it sometimes because he knew that it annoyed him. And despite all the drama and the distance Jason hold between him and his family, Jason really truly cares about his siblings. He just gets defensive sometimes and screws things up. Jason really didn't want to screw up this time with Damian. He was only 10 and already so mature, more mature than any of his other brothers. Jason had a good feeling he could be a much better brother this time around.

“So kid, want me to come in with you?'' Jason asks and Damian rolls his eyes again. “Please i'm not a scared little baby”

Jaso grins “of course not! I can just be here to answer the questions you're not sure about.” Jason suggests. “I highly doubt there is any useful information you could contribute to my or fathers records”

“Well kid, it's not like you've been here before…”

 

“I think I'll be fine, thank you”

And they fall back into silence. Jason felt awkward and slightly irritated. The kid was being difficult but he understood what it was like being young and not wanting to be coddled. And Jason also understood the boy's formality with him. Jason had never really tried to get close before, so why would the boy start caring now?

Damian on the other hand was profusely irritated. He just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. He wasn't sure what to expect or what tests they would perform but Damian was going to make sure he would excel at all of them.

He began to wonder how well his older brothers had done before him. He would surely out do them. Damian considered allowing Jason to come watch. They were in no way close, but Damian still felt he wanted to impress his older brother. He wanted Jason to think highly of him. Possibly set a good impression at this new-ish relationship. But before he could decide the doctor had arrived.

Damian followed the older man down the halls and into a small room with cartoon elephants painted on the wall along with colorful random flowers scattered everywhere. “coming all by yourself? You must be a brave boy!” the man says kindly. Damian thought it patronizing.

“I do not need assistance” he says as a matter of fact. The doctor did not see it as Damian wanted.

“Ah, I see, you're a big boy aren't you? Already 10 years old, '' the doctor said, reading Damian's file as he spoke. Damian frowns.

“Anyhow, I'm dr. Fritz, a pleasure to meet you Damian. Have you been here before?. I can't seem to find any files on you before today, '' Fritz asks. And Damian is well prepared for any questions.

“I grew up in a different country where I've never been to a doctor's office before. I was told this was going to be some sort of physical examination, is that correct?”

Dr. Fritz pauses before putting on an eerie grin. “Yes that is correct… so I'm assuming you're not sure what to expect?”

“That is correct.”

Something about this man's change in demeanor sent a shiver down Damian's spine. Perhaps this ‘physical’ would be a lot more challenging that he expected.

-

The man had him stand on the scale and measure his height. To Damian's dismay dr.fritz commented on “you are quite small for your age, quite adorable! Don't worry son, I'm sure you will get a growth spurt any time now” the man says ruffling Damian's hair and giving him a gentle rub on his shoulders. Fritz then handed him a hospital gown and asked him to change into it. Which Damian began to change into immediately without question. Doctor fritz said nothing.

Damian could feel the man's cold eyes on him as he stripped naked, Damian was by no means shy, but even he felt a slight hesitation before pulling down his boxers. He then hurried into the gown which was quite difficult to put on. While struggling to find the strings in the back, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Here, let me help you” a gentle voice speaks up.

Damian stills he's not sure why but he doesn't like being touched by this man. Although every touch was soft, gentle and seemingly caring, it sent a hot trail of dread throughout his body. It made him feel… pathetic? This man was no danger to him, yet he could still have such power over him…

Damian could feel the doctor's breath on the back of his neck. Why was he so close? When did it bother him so much? “Your quite a strong boy, with muscles like that…'' Fritz comments and Damian for once is unsure how to reply so he simply nods, not letting his fears show.

Relief floods him once the back ties are set and he can no longer feel the doctor's hands brushing up against his body. The next part was easier as well. Damian mostly answered questions that were health related and apparently he was due for many various vaccines. Nothing seemed unusual except Damian's heart raced at the featherlike fingers than lingers a little too long when he checked Damian's blood pressure or held his jaw while he held down Damian's tongue down with a popsicle stick. Damian was beginning to wish Jason had come with him so he could ask how much longer he would have to be here.

Even more so that the not so unusual touching was the lack of privacy. From Damian's understanding, Americans very much valued their privacy. Maybe because this was a professional and private matter already that there was not supposed to be anything too personal between one and their doctor. As my father had said “remember not to hide anything and be honest”. Although Damian did not care about modesty, he was surprised when the doctor reached under his gown and lifted it to his chest just to get a proper reading of his heart beat. Which dr. Fritz shamefully commented on how fast it was beating.

Once the examination of Damian's body was done he was set to get his shots. Damian felt exposed as he lie face down into the bed, legs hanging over the end. He squeezed his eyes as he felt cold hands drag the fabric away from his bare ass leaving it exposed to the air. He didn't understand why he hated this so much. He had never been shy around anyone like this before, except for maybe…

Damian shook that thought away. Fear of such things was childish and weak. Damian would not allow himself to be either. Although once the older man pushed and grabbed at his ass Damian instinctively wanted to fight. ‘Weak’ he thought to himself. He was shameful. To let this man have so much control over his feelings like this.

The touches seemed to last forever. Lingering even after they had initially stopped. Damian didn't even notice the needles going into his skin. He barely even registered fritz saying “all done” over the small pats he placed on his bottom.

Once the words were processed Damian's small body was flooded with relief. He could finally leave this dreadful place. As he began to stand up and turn towards his clothes he was stopped by a hand on his chest. “I'm sorry, but I saved the worst for last, this part can be a little embarrassing for kids your age but I'm promised its nothing to be ashamed of” dr. Fritz says in a patronizing tone that makes Damian's blood boil.

“And what is that?” Damian asks coldly.

“Well, you see, you are around the age of puberty so it is required i do a check up on your sexual health and reproductive systems…”

Damian nods, knowing what the doctor means and a sense of dread pools in his stomach. ‘I assure you everything works’ Damian would like to sass but he does not dare too. He is sure that his brothers did fine and there is no reason for Damian to be stressed over this.

“Lie on the table with your knees up, this will be much easier if you take off the gown.” the older man smiled reassuringly but not to Damian. Damian feels self conscious which is only something he ever felt under the extreme pressure of his mother or grandfather. He hated it. To come from such a weakling… Damian felt shy and ashamed, wrong, weak… but he nodded in obedience and dropped the cloth.

Damian tried not to watch as the man felt around his private areas, giving happy hums and coos of “good boy” and “looking great” which made him want to crawl out of his skin. He wanted nothing more than to go home now but he was no fool. He knew this was far from over.

“If possible I'd like to collect a semen sample”. Damian just nods knowing what to expect. He only hopes that the doctor gives up after his first attempt when nothing comes out. “I also need to do a prostate exam” he adds which Damian numbly nods to again.

Without permission or warning the old man began pumping him rhythmically until he is hard. Damian begins to recede somewhen inside himself where he can ignore what is happening to him. He laments in his pitiful shame and disgust with himself that he doesn't understand. He is disappointed in himself for being embarrassed, for being childish.

‘This can be embarrassing for kids your age’ rigs in his head. Damian was no child. He has had sex before. He has been examined like this before. It was no such trial. Damian was no longer embarrassed over such things anymore. So why was now so different? Why was he being so immature?

Damian was ripped back into reality when he felt a lubed finger push at his entrance. The stretch stung a little but Damian has felt much worse. The intrusion was cold and uncomfortable, it mostly burned but it was quickly forgotten about with the jolt of pleasure from fritz finding his prostate. Damian couldn't help but twitch at the overwhelming pleasure of the constant friction of his sweet spots. He felt his face heat up and he hated himself for not being able to control his body.

He was better than this. He knew it.

But even Fritz notices his struggles to hold things in. “its ok to make noises, it's only natural. Go ahead and let out your cute little voice”

Damian wanted to puke. He hated being called cute, but maybe it was him that was wrong. He was supposed to be honest and not hide anything… This was his doctor after all. So Damian let out his soft gasps and high pitched groans. He was supposed to, right?

Right?

It was like the more pleasure he felt the more dread he felt and the more dread and embarrassment came with more shame and self hatred for feeling that way. It was painful. Damian was no stranger to pain. He could handle it. He was taught how to deal with any situation. But he felt weak to feel pain in a situation that he was not supposed to. He felt wrong and gross for making something out of nothing. This was normal. He was better than this.

Then it was over and the feelings didn't go away. They lingered like itching scabs. The doctor didnt get the sample he wanted and stopped there. The rest was a bit of a haze. He went through all the motions of getting dressed, walking down the hall and to the car.

-

When Damian got back something was off. Jason could feel it. The boy lacked his usual spark of anger and attitude. He couldn't help but suspect that something went wrong as the physical took longer than what was expected.

“You seen down, what did they do to you in there?'' Jason asks light heartedly but he didn't miss the slight widening of Damian's eyes.

“An examination and some shots” Damian answers and Jason sighs in relief. That was probably all it was. Some vaccines really got you feeling bad after and maybe the boy was too afraid to admit he was scared of needles.

“How many did they give ya?”

“6” he replies and Jason whistles “yeh that’ll do it, why don't I make you something to eat once we get home? Maybe give you a little more energy "Jason suggests and Damian gives a soft “thank you. But Damian tensed at the idea of being so obvious

-

Damian insisted on going straight to the bat cave where everyone was working on their own individual projects. Damian really didn't want to talk about this in front of everyone but he needed to report back to father and put this all behind him.

“Welcome home master Damian” Alfred greets and dick perks up at his name. “Hey dames! How did your first ever doctor's appointment go?! Sorry i couldn't make it!” dick greets giving Damian a big unwanted hug. Damian tenses, fear coursing through his veins at the split second thought of dr. fritz and a reminder that was the last physical contact he's had. He felt dirty for letting Grayson touch him. He probably should have showered first.

Dick noticed Damian tense but when didn't Damian tense at physical affection. Dick knew he wasn't completely comfortable with it yet and would normally let it go but right now something about Damian was off, like he felt guilty or something. Dick let the boy go, now a little concerned.

“It went fine, I would like to report back to father now” Damian cut him off and that finally got Bruce's attention.

“Son” father says swiveling around his chair to face the crowd.

“Everything went smoothly, and you will be glad to know I am in great physical condition.” Damian reports.

“Yes, I'm glad, but why do you seem so upset by this? Did the doctor say anything negative?” Bruce asks. And Damian con feel Jaason and dicks eyes bare into his back.

“... he commented I was small” Damian confessed, and Tim burst out in hysterical laughter. Earning a loud growl from Damian

“At least I'm still growing! You're going to be that short forever!” Damian yells across the room shutting timothy up. And he mumbles something that no one could hear but Damian chose to ignore it.

“Anyway… I'm glad you understand the importance of keeping up appearances, as meaningless as they seem” Bruce says.

“Yes, it all seemed very meaningless, and extremely unpleasant.” Damian nearly whines.

Bruce frowns. “How so?”

Damian pauses. He doesn't want to confess his weakness, or his vulnerability. He was not so pathetic. But it was his father, and they've talked about this… about being vulnerable with each other… Damian thinks this is one of those times. But still shame creeps along his skin and digs into his chest making it hard to speak. But Damian was stronger.

“The doctor made me uncomfortable, he made the entire exam stressful but the last part was distressing regardless.” Damian said honestly. He was not good with expressing his emotions outside of giving attitude.

Dick and Jason gave each other a worried knowing look. And Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Uncomfortable how? "Bruse asks and Damian is at a loss for words. He does not know how. His body had reacted instinctively with no rationale.

“...i do not know '' Damian finally replied and now everyone looked very concerned. Even Tim was eavesdropping. It wasn't typically like Damian to express such things vocally. At this point everyone knew something was wrong. they knew to dig deeper into the situation. To gather more information on what happened.

“...And which part was so bothersome?” bruise questioned.

Damian gulped. Why was he feeling so shy? It’s not supposed to be embarrassing to a mature person.

“He examined my body… and I didn't like the part where he examined my privates…'' Damian was too embarrassed to say “penis” for some reason and mentally punched himself for feeling so bothered by it.

Tim choked and behind Damian dick and Jason's eyes popped out of their heads silently. But bruise remained calm and collected. Keeping Damian oblivious from everyone's state of panic.

“And what did he tell you that was for?” Bruce asked like the conversation was normal.

Damian felt the question was redundant. What was he asking me for when he already knew? Damian thought. Bruce is making Damian feel tested and it was irritating when he thought this was supposed to be about his emotions. Maybe Damian was wrong, he wasn't supposed to be upset over it and Bruce is trying to get Damian to reason with himself.

“He said it was for my sexual health, to make sure everything worked properly, since I am older now.” Damian confesses and Bruce frowns. But Jason swings him around by his shoulder. “W-w-wait!hold up! Are you telling me he touched your dick!?” Jason nearly yells.

“Yes..”

Dick and Jason look mortified.

“And he got you hard?”

Damian could feel the blood begin to rush into his face.

“Y-yes”

“Anything else? Did he touch you anywhere else!” dick demands frantically cueing to Damian that this wasn't exactly normal.

Daminan felt wrong.

He did it wrong

He failed.

Damian just nodded. He didn't really feel like talking anymore.

“Well?! Where!?” Jason demands

“M-my butt” Damian says bashfully, beginning to lose eye contact.

The room was silent. Even Tim stopped what he was doing and then Grayson pulled him into a big hug. Damian didn't understand why. He just felt dirty.

Dick let go but he didn't want to. He should've been there for his little brother. Drop whatever stupid project he was working on so he could protect the ones closest to him. He was an idiot.

Jason felt much much worse. He was right there, just in the other room. He should've… he let this happen. He was such a fuck up. He just wanted to prove he was a good big brother and he ruined it again. So tremendously. He doubts he'll be able to forgive himself.

“W-what is wrong? It was just an examination? Damina speaks up trying not to show his fear.

Its squeezes everyone's heart. He was so innocent he didn't even know it was wrong or bad. He felt uncomfortable and didn't even know why… he was just an innocent… just a kid…

“Damian… he wasn't supposed to do that. He was supposed to honor your privacy… I'm sorry… but what he did to you was wrong” Bruce tries to explain, the sorry prevalent in his voice

“I don't understand father…” Damian says.

“That man… he touched you like that because he wanted to. Not because he was supposed to. Because he was manipulating you and your innocence, using you for his own sexual desires. That was not part of the exam… that man was a predator”

Something in Damian snapped and he was flooded with overwhelming emotions. Relief that he wasn't overreacting for nothing. That his instincts were right. But also even more shame than before. That he was stupid and foolish, allowing himself to be so easily manipulated like that. And the overwhelming devastation that none of this was in fact normal. That he truly was disgusting and gross.

“Perhaps that is why I felt so… unsettled… i thought myself weak… it seem it turns out i was just foolish” Damian tried to explain his feelings “I think I'd just like to shower now”

To his surprise Jason pulls him into a big hug. He hates it. He feels gross like no one should touch him before his shower. “Your not foolish! I should've gone in with you!”

“This is not your fault. It was my ignorance, my mistake”

“Stop! Don't you dare blame yourself!. Damian you are still only 10 years old and you have something as precious as innocence. Don't ever try to get rid of that so soon. Its what makes children special, so precious. Promise me to keep holding onto that for as long as possible.

“I do not see the dramatics of all this. I have been touched in such ways many times before.

Silence again

Damian truly doubted he had innocence after everything his life has put him t
Through. After everything he’s done.

“Why did you not tell me this before?” Bruce speaks up.

“I have, well not specifically, but I've said many times that i had trained to resist all forms of torture. That included sexual.'' Damian had thought his father would’ve picked up on that by now.

And very typical of Bruce he changes the subject. “Well regardless I'm going to make a few calls and make sure that doctor loses his license and gets put on to the sex offender list.'' Bruce says and turns around facing the computer already making a file on fritz. Damian takes that as permission to leave but when he turns away he is faced with a very sorrowful looking Alfred and 3 grief stricken older brothers. Even Tim had come by to stand next to Jason and Todd. Damian hated being coddled, and even more so, being pitied.

“If you will excuse me id like to shower and finish my schoolwork.”

“Damian I don't think you realize how serious this is” Grayson says blocking his exit

“I'm fine” Damian stresses.

“Yeah well, then what's up with your huge desperation to take a shower? Didn't you take one this morning?” Tim asks

“...” Damian didn't have an answer. He wasn't sure why himself. Only that he felt dirty and he didn't want to contaminate other people.

Dick kneels down to Damian's eye level and puts a hand on his shoulder Damian does not flinch but it's obvious how laser focused he is on the hand and its placement. “Look, I know you don't want to be seen as weak or naive. I promise you none of us see you as either of those things. We are worried because we care about you. And these types of things that happen don't come without big feelings. It's very normal to feel dirty or bad after sexual abuse. It's very common to want to shower immediately afterward. Damian, we just want you to know you can let your guard down with us, let us in a little. We will never see it as a weakness” dick lectures.

Damian appreciates the sentiment. He thinks he knows these things although his feelings do not align with it/ Damian has worked on this since he's got here and he's still far from accomplished.

“Just say the word and I'll kill him for you, actually you don't even have to ask. That man is already on my hit list. '' Jason growls

“Jason!” Tim and dick yell simultaneously.

“Thank you, but regardless, I'd really like to shower '' Damian hoped that was a step in trying to open up a little, by allowing everyone to know he still felt dirty. Instinctually he wanted to lie and say he would only go to his room after dick had pointed out how much of a victim he seemed. Thankfully then let him go.

Chapter 2: how to make it go away

Summary:

damian decides to open up a little. and his family is there for him.
he's not sure how to feel so he goes to his family in hope of getting some clarity or direction.

Notes:

trigger warning: mentions of Damian's assault.
I would've liked to make this chapter longer, but hopefully the next one will be.

Damian sat on the floor of the scolding hot shower. He had scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed but he didn't feel any cleaner. The numbness formed by hot water scorching his scrubbed raw skin, barely covered up the lingering touches. When he looked down all he could see was the man's hand on places only his own should be. he hated it. He wanted it gone. More than anything he felt stupid. If only he had known-no. If only he had been smarter he could have deduced why the man made his spine crawl. He could've said no. even then with the ignorance, he could've said no simply because he was uncomfortable. In the end it was his fault. For being so stupid.

Damian wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't sure where to put this feeling. He was so sure the shower would make it go away. Perhaps he would take his brothers advice. Maybe talking about it is the right thing to do. Even if it did nothing. He was sure it would make his father happy.

So that's what he did. First he went to dick. He and dick had immediately gotten close, they had to since Bruce had pawned him off to dick so many times forcing responsibility onto his eldest son. And Dick was too much of a big heart to say no. Dick was a good man, pure of heart. Damian respected him and more importantly, Damian trusted him.

------

Dick was cleaning his room when Damian knocked on the door. “Come in” he answered and greeted him with a smile. Dick knew what this was about and was glad to see the kid opening up. “Do you feel better?” he asks patting the bed inviting the younger boy to sit.

To his dismay Damian shakes his head. The boy's skin was bright red and his hair was dripping wet. Had he been in the shower this whole time? “Can you tell me how you feeling?” dick asks straight up taking a seat on the chair in front of the bed, pulling it in so his knees are touching Damian's. He can feel the heat from Damian's skin. That shower must've been painful.

“I thought I would feel better after the shower but I didn't. "Damian confesses.

“How so? What feelings are you trying to get rid of? “

Damian looks dick in the eye but is unable to maintain the contact while speaking.”I feel dirty. Like I can still feel his hands on my body and it won't go away. It makes me feel gross. And I cant stop thinking about how stupid I was, what I could've done differently. “

Dicks heart aches at the reminder of how young Damian was. The boy was so mature, so skilled, it was easy to forget that he was only 10 years old and still so new to this world and his own feelings. There were things that Damian still didn't understand yet.

“Damian, there was nothing you did wrong. None of it was your fault. You only did what was expected of you -to listen to and respect doctors- and you did it well. It was that evil doctor who lied. He hurt you and its done. I'm sorry it turned out this way but I promise you none of it was on you” Dick spoke and Damian did his best to process the intent of the message.

“How do I make the feeling go away? "Damian asked in a near whisper, there was a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Talking about it. It takes time to heal and the first step is telling the story of what happened. The more you tell it, the less scary it becomes. Like with bad dreams.” Dick explains and Damian supposes it makes sense.

“But I already told you the story,” Damian whines.

“Not with detail. You also didn’t allow yourself to feel your emotions. You need to do that to process them. That’s the point of telling the story”

Damian looks down at his toes like they are all broken. He really didn't want to tell anyone the details. They would change their minds about how stupid he was, how it was his fault and that he could have done something.

“It doesn't have to be me, it can be Bruce or even Jason. I'm sure they would be glad to listen.” Dick says and Damian nods. Maybe he should tell father first to get it all over with. It was always hardest telling father his failures but that's what made it easiest to confess- to relieve the pressure.

“I think I'd like to tell father first '' Damian says and Dick smiles only slightly disappointed it wasn't him. “Hes down in the bat cave as usual” Damian nods and stands up “thank you… brother” he says and is pulled into a big hug. Damian did not welcome it but he did not deny it either. “Of course, any time”

-

It felt odd going to talk about such weaknesses in the strongest place in Gotham. What the bat cave represented was quite the opposite of what Damian felt right now. “Father , do you have time to speak? “

Bruce is silent for a moment finishing up his paragraph before giving Damian his attention. Tim had already left but Jason had stayed. Mostly pacing back and forth . plotting revenge. “Come here to share?'' Jason spoke.

“I feel uneasy and Grayson told me I should tell someone the details of what happened because it might make me feel better” Damian's voice was unsure and a little fearful which was never like him. Jason and Bruce could tell this vulnerability was allowed by Damian out of trust for his family.

“We are here to listen. You are brave Damian, for sharing with us your vulnerability "Bruce says and Damian nearly scoffed.

“Yeah kid. No matter what we would never think any less of you. And. we always love you. “ Jason adds and Damian isn't sure why the notion of love makes him feel so uncomfortable. He wonders if he feels the same way. Or if he even knows what love feels like.

“I'm not sure where to start. “

“The beginning”

And so Damian starts with their first greetings. How he was annoyed by how patronizing the man was. How he seemed kind and gentle but didn't look away when he changed. How he had offered to help tie the back strings without permission and how Damian hated it. How the man had unnecessarily lift his gown so many times and how Damian thought he was being childish and immature for being bothered so much by such things. How Damian had thought it was all normal, how he thought it was just him who was feeling wrong. All the way up until the part where the man had him lay on his back completely naked. Legs up and fully, willingly, exposed.

Damian didn't know how scared he was until now. Had it been this awful before? Had he just forgotten? He began to shake against his will and he could feel the stinging of tears in the corner of his eyes but he refused to cry. Not over something so trivial.

“Damian . you can stop there if it's too much "Bruce says, noticing Damian becoming lost in thought-in memories.

“No. id like to finish.” Damian says , voice strained and shaky . not realizing that Bruce partially said that for himself. Bruce felt like a failure of a father. After all these years he hasn't gotten any better at parenting. He fucked up again.

By the end of the story Damian was nearing a panic attack. Jason couldn't help but hold him in his arms wiping away the tears. Damian was so ashamed. But he was grateful. He couldn't understand why the show of affection was so comforting yet dreadful at the same time.

Bruce and Jason, however, as scared as they were by Damian's completely out of character outburst of emotion, they were relieved that he was able to open up to them. It meant that he was growing and he was healing. to Bruce seeing Damian so shook only made the guilt worse and as much as they all hated to acknowledge it. they know this would not be the end of Damian's suffering.

Notes:

wasn't sure how to end this chapter because I'm really stuck on what to do with the next one. please comment, I need some input- critiques, headcannons, theories, anything! something for a little inspiration. I only planned to make this a one shot but here we are at chapter 2. I have a good ending in mind but who knows I might make this longer, or a part 2 if I'm inspired.

Notes:

Update- i will eventually continue this story as a series

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Who knew wrong doings are still wrong when done to you?