Chapter Text
//FITNESS REPORT-AQUINO, PATRICO C.K.: Patient Aquino determined NOT FIT to return to active duty.//
Lucas Ripley tossed the folder onto his desktop and leaned back. Pat's been weeks in the Intensive Care Unit-three of those in a:
medically induced coma. On his short list of replacements John Maddox from 23 is miles away from competent enough; his counterpart-
Lieutenant Dave Mayhorn though is a possibility. Melinda Casares (S42) is too 'green'. Gibson and Bishop are too emotionally fragile. This
left him with a choice that makes his guts churn: HERRERA. The Chief is a man who never allows his own views or system of beliefs to infect
his the department; her abhorrent personal conduct and ambivalence about the damage and havoc she'd wreaked aren't (and CAN'T BE)
factors in his decision. He swallowed his ire and called to notify Charli Dearborn:
"Hey, 'Charles'. Look...I'll eventually move some pieces around so that you won't have to cover both Sully's battalion and your own, so I'm
on that. And Herrera has been assigned as Acting Captain of 23." Charlotte Dearborn started to splutter when her boss cut her off: "Listen carefully,
Charlote: it's done. Just let it happen."
///////////
"OH, HELL!!" Maddox yelled when Andy walked into the Beanery at 23. "I don't detect 'swagger dagger' " Duval added.
"And what the fuck is 'swagger dagger' ?" Barnes asked.
"Not important! As you probably already know, Aquino won't be back-I'm 'it' until they make a permanent decision. In place of a line-up I've
decided to"-
[The horn blares] 'Aid 23...Engine 23: medical emergency at 777 W. Bayshore Avenue...possible narcotic overdose'...
Herrera, eyes wide in shock and her face ashen bolts from the cafeteria leaving 23's A shift gawping; she shouts "MOVE, MOVE!" over her
left shoulder
In the engine's cab, Barnes leans over and whispers to his buddy "What's with her?" adding a slight nod toward Herrera. Anyone with eyes can
see the light glaze of tears glinting in her eyes. They dart about as if unable to settle on a single area or object.
Tugging one of his headphones away from his ears the ginger whispers back "We're in route to the house she lived at with FireZaddy before
the divorce."
"And you know that how?" Maddox nods again, this time in Ruiz's direction. The senior Lieutenant casts concerned glances at his passenger
from his driver's seat. He notices that she directs him to their destination without needing a map; she notices him noticing her and explains:
"Es el domicilio de Robert ."
~You are not hidden. There's never been a moment. You were forgotten. You are not hopeless. Though you have been broken-your
innocence stolen. I hear you whisper underneath your breath.~
As they pull up to the home, Andy starts trembling, her breath instantly rapid...to herself, she whispers 'he's fine...he'll be OK...he WILL...
HE WILL...
On the ground, Ruiz says to Andy (soto voce), "Do you still have keys? Hererra!"
"Huh? What?!" Oh...I left them at my new place."
"Mack, Moreno, check the perimeter for a possible entry: open doors and windows...don't forget the BASEMENT. Everyone else, stand by."
"Front door is locked, Ruiz!" Maddox calls from the front door. "Maybe ex-Señora Zaddy can ring him up!"
"Shut your mouth, Maddox!" To Andy, he says, "Will he answer if you call?"
"I, uh...I don't know. Probably not."
"He could be in real trouble in there," Theo muses...to Maddox and Barnes, he yells, "Bust it in!"
"Hoo Hoo!" Maddox raises his axe and sets his feet; as he works on the door, Ruiz orders Mayhorn and Duval to be ready to move inside.
The door comes down and Maddox cackles loudly, "They's a--comin', FD!", prompting Andy to charge toward him eyes ablaze: Ruiz moves
quickly to head her off...
Theo screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" as he guides his friend away from the scene and to the rear of the Aid Car. Calming her down is
his priority, and he manages to convince her to go through the standard breathing exercises...he also gives her oxygen. "Feel better, Ma?"
"This is me, Ruiz; ALL ME. I did this-if...if h-he doesn't...m-make..."
Ruiz replies softly, "We all fuck up, Andy. Me, you...SULLIVAN...this is hard, but your ex is strong. He made it through Iraq and Afghanistan-
more than a decade of firefighting. I gotta believe that this-whatever it is--won't be what brings him down."
"Thank you. Thank you, Theo," Andy says gratefully.
///////////
Mayhorn reports "We found him, Cap; it's Chief Sullivan. He's out of it"...
Duval adds, "Pulse is thready-decent breath sounds bilateral. Help me sit him up, Mayhorn?"
"I didn't hear; is he OK?" Andy asks anxiously.
"Mayhorn. Can you wake him?"
"Negative, Cap. If we could get some bodies: Chief's a big mother."
Theo waves three firefighters into the house to assist. Andy cries, "I'm going in, too"-
"If you don't STAND DOWN I'll bench you--don't make me, 'K? Seriously, Andy...if I have to, I will. You know I'm right."
Despite her glare, the Latina DOES understand. Robert hasn't awakened by the time they haul him outside: the strong odor of
scotch wafts off of him, and it breaks his former wife's heart...
/ICU-GREY SLOAN/
~"Vitals: BP 120/70. HR...45; pulse, respiration, normal. Body temp is a little high--I'll retake that one. You should have a look
at this scan, Dr. Shepherd..."
Clicking her tongue, Shepherd says, "CT...I'll want a re-scan of that; Tox screen's clean, save the alcohol content: .21...JESUS."
"You know this patient doesn't, you Dr. Shepherd?"
Amelia sighs and replies, "I do. He's the Battalion Chief for this area...ROBERT SULLIVAN."
"Riiiight! FIRE ZADDY!!"
"I don't think that he likes that particular nickname," Baby Shepherd remarks sternly. "Don't say that in front of him or his team."
////////
The patient in ICU private suite 1L slowly awakens; his eyes don't focus at first-he identifies the man at his bedside via the scent of his
aftershave. He swallows audibly before wisecracking, "I...remember distinctly warning you to stop biting off of MY COLOGNE, asshole!"
"Fuck you, though," Seattle's Fire Chief hits back. "REALLY. Fuck you. You fuckin' scared me, Man. Do you mind telling me what the fuck?!"
Evasively, Robert Sullivan answers "I don't read you" while not meeting his best friend's eyes.
"How's THIS, then: Did you do it?"
“I don’t know, Rip. Truthfully. I can’t say. I don't have a conscious thought of my wanting to...that I can recall."
Doggedly, Lucas repeats his query: “We don’t bullshit one another, Bobby. I’ll ask once more and never again, but if you lie…
ask y'self if we can ever come back from it, even if you say yes, we're brothers: there's nothing you can tell me that will change that.
Be straight with me, Mate."
A deep sigh, then Robert at last looks his friend in the eye: "The divorce blindsided me…like Meine Elyern . Like Claire. The
Iraqis and Afghans I smoked. The…lost civilians and firefighters over the decades. The day at that puke traffickers layover...and all of the
shit from...BEFORE." He pauses to snuffle back tears and adds, "All of it combined suddenly stopped affecting me, Luke. it all suddenly
stopped affecting me, Luke. We both know that after the numbness, once the caring ends, the hurt is not far behind. I no longer gave a
fuck."
Ripley sits back and closes his eyes. “And ME? What about ME? Lon and Charla: they took you in after that bit with your erm...your Elyern ;
and I can predict their reaction. They’re flying in today. This...will wreck them; also Jen and Katy. Mom…you’ll do well not to repeat
what you said to me just now-OR DO-I’d love for her to wallop you good, you fuck!”
"Copy. You're right. They loved me, your parents; they took me in, loved me like family. No one asked them to, and no one made them.
They saved me. I know that." He tenses, his gaze on the open door. His eyes flash angrily. Lucas turns to see, and his reaction surpasses
Sully's by ten:
"What the FUCK are you doing here?!" Ripley whisper-yells. He jumps to his feet and jerks his head to the left, indicating that the surprise
visitor should follow him to a corner of the private suite. "You need to leave, Herrera. I'll run the next shift as Captain - use the time to
decide where you'd like to 'land'. Preferably anywhere outside Seattle. And leave Bobby alone."
"Leave Seattle...ROBERT! Is that what you want- for me to leave Seattle?!"
"Don't talk to him! Sully, tell her to fuck off!"
Andy fired back, "EXCUSE ME, Chief, but this doesn't concern you! Robert is a 39-year-old man who's fought a war, and been married and
divorced. He can answer for himself!"
Ripley interrupts: "I can get her out of here if you want, Bobby."
Robert says, "I'll hear her out. I want this over."
"I'm just outside, Sul." With a final glare of repulsion, he leaves.
When they're alone, Andy stepped closer to ask, “Will you please tell me the truth if I ask?” He nodded curtly. “Did you. Did you…you
know what I’m trying to ask you.”
“Leave it, please. I’m responsible for my own life, Andy, and we are no longer married.”
<.p>
Stung, Andy blinked several times before she tried to respond. “I know that, Robert. No need to remind me every day.” She leans to
one side so that he won’t see her blink away tears, then clears her throat. “I know what I’ve done and my part in how our marriage
um…ended. I AM SORRY. I AM SO SO SORRY. For all of it before, and for pushing you to--to this.” Neither spoke for several minutes
until Andy stated, "Ripley said that he doesn't want me in SFD...I'm benched until I decide what city I want to transfer to...just know
that I'm not going anywhere until you are completely recovered. I'll resign if I have to."
"Suit yourself."
Andy ignored this jibe as best she could, instead stating, "My behavior has been beyond disgusting the past two years. I regret so much -
there is so much that I'm sorry for. I've been self-absorbed and in my own little world; I didn't see how close you were to...whatever hap-
happened. I know that I have next to no right to ask but...did you...please just tell me that you didn't try to take your life."
"I don't honestly know. I...stopped caring what happened to me."
"You won't do something if I leave for a while?"
"Rip's here."
"But...I can come back?"
Robert said that he preferred to think it over. "OK. This sounds so self-serving; convenient but I love you. I never stopped. I
never will stop. Good night."
At the door, the Latina turned to ask meekly, “Death. Do you care if you die?”
He replies softly, “I ain’t afraid of it.”
~~~~