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The first time Elsa brought up the idea of glassblowing, Anna’s jaw had dropped. Elsa who was generally not exactly the most kinetically inclined individual, who hated it when the thermometer climbed over 24 degrees Celsius and overthought everything? Seemed like a highly unlikely individual for a craft that required handling delicate materials with heavy duty work tools, operating at high level temperatures and swift, spontaneous speeds…
They’d been gazing up at the firmament, counting the stars they could see, in the constellations they could make out whilst laying in the double hammock of their backyard. Which was in a sense both grand and absurd to be able to see Aquila, Cygnus right above them and Lyra, the Summer Triangle. Anna had looked away from the excessive smatterings of light forming the characteristic galaxy we lived in, and she’d turned to look at Elsa incredulously. Her elder sister by a year - then 17 - had in turn glanced down from the sky and tilted her head to see Anna’s expression, then had laughed in response to what she saw. She’d pouted at that, miffed that her concern wasn’t being taken seriously.
“That Chihuly exhibit we saw today left a huge impression on me, I had never imagined that glass could do and be all of those things.”
Anna had seen the sparkle in her eye that rivalled that of the stars above them (or maybe, reflected them) and her worry had softened when she’d understood that this desire was not a whim, but the sign of a life-altering encounter. Perhaps Anna had felt so blindsided because of the silence from her sister after they’d walked through and out of the exhibition at the museum, but in hindsight it had now dawned on her that she was moved to speechlessness, not silently indifferent.
The hammock had swayed softly as Elsa turned on her side to face her, this time her smile gentle, no trace of mockery or amusement. Anna had smiled wildly, mouth closed in return and immediately cuddled closer (somehow, considering with what they were laying in they were pretty dang close as is) and had buried her face in her older sister’s neck, sighing contently. They’d snuggled and had fallen asleep for a couple hours before their parents had found them like this and herded them back into the house to their respective rooms.
Before she’d gone to sleep, she’d briefly caught note of Elsa mentioning she’d found a local workshop with classes available. For some reason, it surprised her that Ottawa would have anything like that, but it filled her with joy, knowing her sister was already on it.
Anna had smiled to herself as she changed into her PJs and slid into bed.
A few weeks later while their parents were at work and they were on Summer vacation, Elsa had brought back her first piece as a glassblower. It was a long way from Chihuly, but as she presented it to Anna with an apologetic smile she’d pointed out her intent.
“At least it’s your favourite colour, right?”
And the colours and variations within it were indeed what was most attractive about it. Anna had gasped when she’d understood it was a gift, and suddenly it held more value to her than the entire collection they’d seen at the museum.
So Anna had said thank you the only way she spontaneously could surrender to the moment, embracing her sister fully.
When she had kissed her, it had flowed naturally.
If Elsa had had any objections at the time, she’d kept them to herself.
-xxx-
It had been clear as glass (hah!) that Elsa had found her calling. Time spent at the workshop increased even when she didn’t have classes. Most money she made from her part time job went to financing her passion. Each new piece she brought back home was prettier, more enchanting or more intriguing than the than the preceding one. And it had become a tradition that whenever she started a new session, or learned a new technique, the first piece would always be a gift for Anna.
And each piece was paid for in gratitude filled kisses in the intimate cocoon of their hammock under the starry skies. Occasionally they even strayed from Elsa’s lips, to the corner of her jaw, the lobe of her ear or to the thrumming point of her pulse. And each gasp these elicited came with fingertips at her waist and a little shudder tingling down Anna’s spine.
When the dead leaves that came with autumn were succeeded by the snow covered ground, and the hammock was strung up, things had shifted.
There were less opportunities for expressing thanks now though, less moments away from prying eyes.
The gifts Anna received became a little less frequent, she noted, but the pieces that adorned the family home were now worthy of a refined artisan’s fair, or a small local gallery. And it seemed that winter, which coincidentally was Elsa’s favourite season, her birth season, had brought her craft to new heights. The cold radiance and fragmented lights of the snow inspired her pieces that now varied from sculptural, to useful and most impressively, combining the two notions.
“There’s no reason something we use can’t also be pretty,” she’d explained. “And there’s no reason something breathtaking can’t also be useful.”
At the time Anna knew that was why the first, sculptural glass Elsa had made for her was her favourite. Each time she took a sip of it, she imagined their lips meeting again, like they’d had all summer long and under the shades of autumn reds and golds. Under the starry skies as though blessed by the cosmos. She longed for those moments again, worried they’d never return. The pieces brought home for Anna continued to dwindle, replaced by pieces that were shown and exhibited in local cafés and small independent businesses. Occasionally, someone would even buy one and Anna’s emotions teetered between pride and envy, then consoled herself knowing she’d never had to buy the pieces of Elsa’s soul that she poured into her work.
And then, she’d started to worry that Elsa had never wanted that kind of thanks in the first place. She’d worried that perhaps what she’d noted the first time was a simple favour, a humouring of her younger sister’s whims. It gnawed at her as Elsa’s 18th birthday passed and she had to stay behind when she’d driven out to Montreal with her friends to celebrate. The guilt had eaten at her and her grades had started to slip to the point Elsa herself had intervened confronting her about it.
Only when Elsa had sighed and asked her what it was about, had the tides turned again. Unable to say a word, Anna must’ve had made a sound subconsciously, because in that moment Elsa had softly stroked her cheek into the palm of her hand, brushing her thumb over her freckled cheekbone and pressing her other index finger over Anna’s lips.
“Patience is a virtue, because good things come to those who wait.”
She’d meant it, as clichéd as it was.
On Anna’s 17th birthday, Elsa made her arguably one of the most stunning pieces she’d ever produce.
She’d been unable to wait until that evening for the actual celebration, she’d snuck into Anna’s room, stirring her from her slumber, holding up a gift bag. The soft, pink hues of the April sky crept between the branches jewelled with the buds of future apple blossoms, lending an almost angelic glow to her sister’s platinum tresses. Anna had been confused and half awake, her hair only just the slightest bit tousled as she’d fallen asleep wearing twin braids to try for a natural wave on her big day.
Having had glanced at Elsa with a question in her eyes, the gift bag had been gently pushed into her hands, giving an answer.
Gingerly, Anna had taken out the paper gift wrapping and she’d gasped, nearly dropping the piece into her lap when she’d held it up. A magnificent swan shaped carafe with gold tipped wings and subtle traces of translucent dancing blues, pinks and purples with a shimmering finish as though the northern lights themselves had been poured into it, sparkled before Anna’s eyes.
Tears formed and overflowed and like that fateful day Elsa had brought her first piece home, Anna wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist, pulling her into an ardent embrace and seeking out her sweet, bow-shaped lips with her own.
This time, she felt Elsa smile against her mouth. This time she felt her older sister lean back into her. This time she felt Elsa’s hand gently, yet firmly clasp the nape of her neck and if Anna’s aura had been visible, she was sure it would have adopted the colours and light so deftly captured by Elsa into the swan, combined with the promising colours of the spring sunrise outside her window.
Anna had pulled Elsa down on top of her onto the bed after setting the gift with care and concern on her nightstand. They’d shed whatever trappings clung to their skin and found themselves adding to the festival of lights in the most delightful of innuendos those early hours in the morning, breaking silence only with the most quiet of whimpers and a duet of breaths in high strung tempo.
Elsa had quickly stolen away back to her room, and both she and Anna had conserved their glow the entire day.
Anna never worried again about which pieces Elsa did or didn’t bring home for her specifically and if she’d harboured any doubts, they’d vanished when Elsa declared after graduation that she was deferring a year to hone and perfect her craft before starting her Bachelor’s degree at the only college in Ontario to offer glass specialty. For, although their parents accepted this explanation without any trace of hesitation (and oh how proud they were of their eldest daughter for becoming a locally known artist), Elsa had told Anna she wanted them to start college together.
The guilt that lingered within, however was a much harder beast to fell than uncertainty.
-xxx-
Two and a half years later, the Agnarsson sisters were now completing their second year of college. Elsa had turned 21 in February and was the star pupil of Trafalgar. Oakville wasn’t that far away from Ottawa but it was in a sense, a world away, and as far as they were concerned that was for the better.
She had gained a certain notoriety with being the youngest glassblowing student to ever land a gallery exhibit, and she was featured in the papers. Art critics from around the province were picking up on her work and their parents would excitedly email them links to obscure columns, in less obscure papers. Her star was undeniably on the rise. Where it might have been anyone else, complacency would’ve had fertile ground to grow, but Elsa only worked twice as hard, rising up to the occasion, her greatest critic being her own self.
As far as Anna was concerned, it was their greatest advantage. Even though her parents barely noticed that their youngest daughter had also joined a Craft and Design program with a different specialty, they were also too busy bragging about their eldest to pay close attention to their personal lives.
It was admittedly a little upsetting loving her in the shadows at times, especially because Elsa had garnered quite a few admirers who liked to come see her in creation…. And who could blame them, she thought, especially on an evening like this where she sat in the hot shop watching Elsa bend the elements to her will, her vision. The sweat glistened as it pearled off her brow, matting the stray strands of platinum blond that had escaped from her messy French braid. It also highlighted some of Elsa’s other attributes as it dipped down the muscles in her neck, rippling from the effort and lended a sheen, a glow really, to her bare shoulders.
Anna felt herself gulp as her eyes wandered down to the biceps now so toned and developed from the years of glass working. Her mind drifted to thoughts of those arms wrapped around her waist, evoking vivid memories only they were privy to.
For as icy as her signature pieces had become known to be, the first word that came out of people’s mouths when asked about Elsa was “hot”, and Anna could hardly resent them that, even if she had to fight off every last girl on campus.
Subtly of course. As much as they had attempted to avoid the connection, they were quickly recognized as sisters and the freedom from their parents became the prison of their peers. Especially with Elsa in the spotlight.
Her sister was ever tactful about it, and seemed to use her natural introvertedness to help shield them both under the cover of secrecy. Fending off attractive women (and men, who apparently did not get the memo about the team she batted for) was always simplified with borrowed grace and an explanation that she was involved with someone already, wanted to protect her identity partly to shield her from the increasingly public eye and partly because her girlfriend’s parents would “kill them if they knew who she was with.” None of which was a lie, but it weighed at times heavier than others on Anna’s shoulders.
They were alone this time, as Elsa had refused any additional visitors and it was generally understood on campus that while it wasn’t an official rule, in general what Elsa wanted, Elsa got if it meant engaging with her craft. Whether it was because of that or for other reasons, she had certainly grown quite prolific which hadn’t stopped her from continuing to dote on Anna, in more ways than one.
Elsa stood before the glory hole, twisting the pipe casually with the assurance of one that has mastered and dominated one of nature’s most fearsome powers and Anna bit her lip, gasping a little. She could feel her own sweat pearl down her cleavage and she reached for a hair tie to put her air up. Her older sister glanced at her, winking, which set alight her spine in the most pleasant way and she almost forgot the main reason they were both here together in the first place.
“It’s almost ready, I just need to add some detail then I will put it in the annealer. Did you bring your design sketches with you?”
Anna blinked and dismounted with a surprising amount of grace from the table she’d commandeered as a seat, looking around seemingly confused.
“Uh yeah, sorry! I think I left it in my bag. I might’ve left it in the entrance hall.”
“Anna! How many times have I told you-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah - I’m too trusting, keep a better handle on my things etc.”
Anna waved her off flippantly as she started off jogging back towards the door.
“On the other hand, thanks for the view.”
“Elsa! Not here!”
“But all my favourite things are here.”
Anna flipped her off from inside the doorframe then practically sprinted towards where she’d left her bag returning only moments later to her older sister pouting at her, arms folded across her chest.
“Stop pouting. I thought you said all your favourite things were here.”
Elsa placed her arms - those same ones with the flexing biceps - around Anna’s waist and looked at her adoringly.
“I thought they were.”
Anna’s heart pounded a little faster as she glanced around and swallowed thickly, getting up on her tip toes. She knew they were alone but the hyper vigilance had become a part of her life and she stole a quick peck.
“How about now?”
The pout was replaced with a grin and Anna let out a little squeal as Elsa nuzzled her and gave her a butterfly kiss apparently unfazed by the slick sweat on both of their faces. Then again, it was perhaps a familiar sensation to them.
“Mh, yeah definitely. Now show me those sketches?”
Anna stepped away quickly, as if worried their proximity had lingered for far too long and she raised her sketchbook up, showing her the mount she had in mind for the glass piece Elsa had just created. It was the first collaborative piece they’d worked on from start to finish, with feedback between the two of them.
Elsa grinned again as the sketch had turned out even better than the preliminaries and when the glass component had cooled off in the annealer she took it out to show Anna. It of course did not rival the swan carafe in grandiosity but it wasn’t meant to. The subtle elegance and detailed craftsmanship was what they wanted here, in order to integrate elements of both their crafts, supporting and complimenting each other.
And again, as she’d done so many times before, Anna forgot anything else but the elation in the moment, cradling Elsa’s face to kiss her deeply, hotly before gently booping their foreheads together.
The sound of the door in the distance slamming shut made them jump out of their skins and they found themselves 5ft apart in 0.0005 seconds. A voice called out asking if Elsa was still there to which she responded in the tone of someone who’d been done umbrage.
“Yeah but we are done here, I’m leaving now.”
“S-so sorry,” answered the voice of a young guy who must have been waiting for his turn in the hot shop that evening. “I’ll uh… I’ll wait ‘till you walk out.” They hadn’t seen his face, nor did they particularly want to.
Carefully, she nestled the piece in protective wrapping and smiled at Anna, gesturing with her head for them to go.
“Come on, let’s get back and take a shower.”
A shower, singular.
-xxx-
It was Anna’s 20th birthday and she found herself waiting with trepidation. This time, Elsa had managed to exert enough self control to let her know that she’d not in fact get her gift until that evening. But she’d at least gotten a good morning, happy birthday kiss to start her day off right and when she had greedily tried for more, Elsa had laughed and told her they’d be late for class but promised that she’d be her birthday date and help her celebrate in a way she hoped Anna would see as the befitting kickoff to her celebration week.
The day had crawled by with non stop notifications from Facebook and congratulations from some of her classmates.
All Anna could think bout however, was how the evening ahead, take out and the one person who mattered the most to her in this entire world seemed nothing short of perfect.
When class finally ended, Elsa was for this rare occasion, not to be found in the glassblower’s workshop, instead having headed back to the tiny rental they’d managed to find practically on campus to keep them as close to the hot shop as possible. It permitted her to keep practicing daily, whilst giving them a little more privacy than the dorm they had shared the first year.
As a matter of fact, when Anna got home, she was surprised to find that she wasn’t the first one there. Awaiting her was Elsa with an air of mischief and excitement, who promptly closed the door behind her younger sister, pinning her against it with a welcome home kiss.
Oh how the turntables.
Not that Anna was in anyway mad about this development, least of all today.
“I figured,” Elsa started between hot, open-mouthed kisses that moved from Anna’s lips, “we could order in-” to her jawline, to her neck. “-but first I need to show you your gift.”
Anna answered the statements with short, shallow gasps and quiet whimpers until the mention of her gift at which point she straightened out with a gleam in her eye and she gently pushed past Elsa to the living area.
“Then I can thank you for my gift… and thank you again for dinner.”
“Your wish is my command, birthday girl.”
“Oooh look at that, I’ve got the Elsa Agnarsson at my beck and call, it’s my lucky day!”
“Then every day is your lucky day.”
The last line was spoken more softly, with a gentle tone of seriousness behind the statement, and Anna thought her heart might melt into an explosion of cosmic love. She gave her another kiss before making a beeline for the low coffee table in front of the couch which held a mysterious gift bag. Elsa grinned as she noted that Anna was probably expecting a complex, detailed piece to rival the swan - to this day remaining one of her best, and undeniably Anna’s favourite. But Elsa had something completely different in store for her today.
They sat down on the couch side by side, Anna’s legs outstretched over Elsa’s lap who in turn was stroking them affectionately as her little sister practically vibrated with an almost childish excitement at the prospect of opening a gift. Anna picked up the gift bag, the heaviness of it intriguing but not startling her. She pulled the paper out and let out a little grunt as she reached for the massive, heavy glass object nestled within. She heard Elsa chuckle and she made a little noise that meant something along the lines of ‘stop teasing me!’ When she finally managed to pull out Elsa’s latest work.
It was a massive sphere-like object with an opening on the slightly flattened bottom, and it appeared hollowed out. At once dark and translucent with navy and purples and fuchsias along with clear and white smatterings of chaos. It seemed fairly abstract though very much in the “galaxy” aesthetic that had become trendy in recent years. The craftsmanship was refined but it was not immediately obvious what it was supposed to be.
Before she could actually say anything about it, Elsa took it from her.
“Wait, this isn’t even the half of it. Close your eyes.”
For once in her life, Anna did as she were told and subsequently felt Elsa gently remove her legs from her lap, the weight of the couch shifting as she got up. She kept her eyes closed as she heard her sister rummage in a corner of the room and what sounded like plugging something into an outlet. She heard the sound of glass sliding over wood and held her breath as she heard two clicks, like switches being flipped.
“Okay, you can look now.”
Elsa had turned off the overhead light in the room, and on the table her gift sat illuminated from within by a lamp with a powerful bulb, it gave it an almost otherworldly glow. But what really caught Anna’s attention was what that light projected in the room all around them. She gasped, completely stunned in her seat as she looked up to the ceiling and the walls and saw a dark blue light with shimmering stars and distant galaxies creating a light show that would rival a planetarium. The Milky Way was immediately obvious, so were the far off nebulas and the stars formed constellations both new and familiar.
All around them, the cosmos glowed with the love and devotion that animated Elsa’s soul and that she had poured into this creation once more. What Anna couldn’t see where the dozens of pieces like it that came before and did not have the desired outcome. What Anna couldn’t see were the hours of trial and error, the research and time spent in the hot shop, the assistants Elsa had wrangled to create this piece which in the end was just for her.
Yet she didn’t need to see it to feel it, when she was surrounded by that emotion right in that instant. She gazed around in awe, trying to take in all the details
“Elsa…”
Speechless.
“Glassblowing is my whole world Anna, but you… you are my universe.”
Her voice was tight with emotion and Anna immediately embraced her pulling her to herself on the couch.
“You never asked me why a swan, when I made you that carafe, but I had a good reason.”
“Honestly I thought it was some ugly duckling reference.”
“Shut the fuck up, you never were an ugly duckling, you were the cutest most fluffiest duckling ever.”
Gently, Elsa pushed Anna back down on the couch and scooted in as tightly as she could beside her so that they were laying on their backs.
“Look up.”
On a streak today, since Anna did once more as she was told and her eyes wandered up to the ceiling. She focused on a cluster of stars that seemed familiar. As if reading her mind, Elsa offered up an explanation before she was even asked.
“It’s Cygnus.”
“The Swan.”
“Do you remember that night I told you I wanted to get into glassblowing?”
“Yeah?”
“We were stargazing and Cygnus was up above us, exactly like this. And when you snuggled me after I told you, I knew you approved, I knew you’d support me through my dream… and now look at me.”
“You worked so hard to be where you are Elsa, with or without me.”
“Anna.”
Elsa propped herself up on her elbow, looking away from the ceiling. Anna wasn’t quite ready to tear herself away from the sight of the stars shimmering in their living room, and took a moment before finding Elsa’s gaze.
“You’re my muse. So much of what I create is for you either figuratively or literally. You make me experience the richest, most complex range of emotions, you inspire me and enchant me in ways you could never imagine. I owe you everything. When you said you were taking the same bachelor’s degree as me with a different specialty I nearly lost my mind at the possibility of what we could be creating together down the line.”
Anna’s heart was racing and tears welled up at the corners of her eyes. Elsa didn’t know it but beyond the majesty of space that now embraced them, their own universe, their own galaxy, their own world… the loneliness and isolation that came from being as one with each other was worth every weighted moment. It was worth getting take out in their small apartment instead of going to a restaurant with friends, because no one mattered to them as much as one another.
“Glassblowing is your world,” Anna repeated, her words trailing off as she understood the full measure of Elsa’s earlier statement.
“I always felt guilty that I had somehow tainted you, that I had dragged you over a line you didn’t want to cross. And then when you gave me the swan I knew my feelings for you were shared. And then I’d always felt a little guilty every now and then that you had to hide who you are because of me. Hell you can’t enjoy the full college experience because of me. We can’t really get close to anyone, we rarely hang out with friends outside of school functions… you’ve got gorgeous women and guys throwing themselves at you and you can’t even tell them whom you’re taken by.”
Elsa gave her an incredulous look and shook her head vigorously.
“Anna. I just told you glassblowing is my world, and you are my universe. I can’t ascertain as to why we, by some cosmic joke are soulmates born as siblings, but I know that nothing else matters to me more than you. Hell I may not have even gotten into glass if we hadn’t gone and seen that exhibition together. And who knows if I would’ve gone with a friend instead of my sister - probably not, to be perfectly honest.”
The road ahead of them was long, but in that instant, she knew they would figure it out together. In that instant, she knew the challenges that lay ahead of them would not be made of swiftly, but together they’d find a way. In that instant, she knew that it was a path worth walking together. The tears started streaming down Anna’s face and like so many other times before, she immediately kissed Elsa, passion and gratitude swirled into one as her arm wrapped around her older sister’s waist, holding her close. Not unlike those nights in the hammock huddled together under the stars. But their kisses then had the innocence of young love trimmed with the excitement of secrecy and retinue. This kiss had the full abandon of those who know they are loved and desperate to show exactly how much.
Anna’s hand slid down Elsa’s side reaching for the hem of her tank top, finding smooth skin underneath and tracing back upwards. She mewled softly as Elsa’s kiss moved from her mouth to her throat and her lips formed a little love bite. She could hardly think of anything else but the fervent desire that animated every cell in her body and licked at her skin like the flames of creation itself. She looked up again around the room, drinking in the sight of the universe, their universe as teeth grazed along her pulse point, sending jolts to the pit of her lower belly.
“Happy birthday, my love.”
And Anna chuckled at the understatement of the century.