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Today was special, well, more like next week was special. Touya had been practicing for months on his routine, to be perfect, to be able to land each move, to be able to move with grace and show off all he could do. He had been practicing for this routine for months, but he had been ice skating for a few years at that point, all thanks to Tenko who had helped him get the confidence to start lessons— after a few tragic events that led them to where they were now. It worked out however, living in a nice penthouse Tenko had gotten the money for, as his grandmother had given him plenty of money in her will. Tenko had a job, unlike Touya who mainly stayed home, having gained rather bad mental trauma over the past few years, triggered by many types of human interactions, it was hard for him to leave the house most times.
Ice skating was an escape from his mental battles, performing, dancing. Tenko had shown such interest in his hobby years ago, fondly looking at Touya as he explained that he used to dance in his living room, his mother watching, the two watching ice skating on the television while his father was away at work. She always wanted to sign him up for classes. But because of Enji, it never happened, and Touya was lost soon after, lost to the ashes and taken away from home.
Tonight was the night Touya was going to give Tenko the ticket he had gotten him, as it was free because he was performing at the event. He had been cooking all evening, having learned those passing years, as he had so much time at home to himself with Tenko working, a doctor, something he had shown much practice in even when they had first met when in their early 20s. He had been able to get a good job, a good pay, enough for both him and Touya, along with their two cats (That Touya loves more than Tenko would ever), and their corgi, and rottweiler that Tenko had adopted as a companion when they were split apart. Even with the trial and error, their pets eventually started to get along, even becoming great friends, mostly. Touya was glad that his cat, Sardine, was getting along with Tenko’s dogs, as she was a very stubborn cat. Sometimes he even finds his hairless cat on top of the dog, huddled in his fur as the two slept. He just had to convince Tenko it actually happened, as Sardine never showed that peaceful nature when he was around.
Touya had set the table, even lighting a candle, wanting to give a romantic feel. Touya was never good at romance, but he always tried for Tenko, as he had to show some gratitude, since Tenko was working to the bone each day just to make him happy. Least he could do was cook him a good dinner and show some effort. He blew out the match and tossed it away, setting the table, a bit of wine being poured in their glasses. Tenko always had complications with food, but they had worked on it when they met and soon when reunited after that five year split. Those five years were hard on them, but with rings on their fingers, with a beautiful house, and hope for the future, they were working everything out.
Touya had made a meal of lasagna, along with a bowl of salad to go along with it. It was a meal that could be complicated to make, but Touya made it perfect each time. His first two attempts had rendered the dish undercooked, but now he knew just how to get it. He heard a meow at his feet and looked down to see the old sphynx cat at his feet, him leaning down to pet her before moving to feed both her and the other pets, the dogs soon scattered up to their bowls to start munching, as the cats ate up on the counter from her dish. He didn't know where Tuna was, his other cat, but he assumed she was sleeping.
Soon Touya heard the door open from a distance, followed by a toss of keys in the bowl they have next to the door. “Touya? I’m home.” The scratchy voice had called in. Touya perked up, taking off the apron he was wearing and hanging it up. It was a dumb gift Toga had given him after she realized he liked to cook, her occasional stopping to visit them. It said ‘Kiss the cook’ on it, a wavy font spelling the words out. “In the kitchen, Ten!” He called. He soon found Tenko walking through the hallway into their living space, the kitchen and dining area both connected, only separated by a countertop in between.
Tenko was shrugging off his white coat when he saw the kitchen table, candles lit and food placed out for them, along with the bottle of wine. “Went all out today, I’m not forgetting an anniversary or something, am I?” Tenko had asked, seeming a bit worried, even reaching up to his neck to potentially scratch, but Touya shook his head.
“Can’t I just treat you to something nice every once in a while?” Touya had asked, and he got a dead panned expression back from Tenko. Obviously not. Touya rolled his eyes. “Okay, it is something. But nothing like that” Touya had assured. Tenko had let out a sigh of relief, placing his jacket down and moving over to Touya, who stood near the counter. “Then what is it?” Tenko had asked, but Touya had shaken his head. “I’ll tell you over dinner, you’re probably starving.” Touya stated.
It wasn’t long after Tenko got dressed and comfortable, soon to head back to the dinner table, sitting across from Touya who had served himself some food. Tenko served himself as well, a much smaller portion, but it was much improvement from when they first met, having barely eaten a crumb at any meal, not until Touya had tried to help. “So, are you going to tell me what this fuss is about? Do you want money or something?” Tenko asked, fork gathering some of the salad.
Touya snicker, shaking his head, showing clear signs of being in a good mood, it was evident. “No I don’t want money, I want to give you something.” Touya had stated, soon to reach in his pocket, pulling out a thin slip of paper, soon to slide it over to Tenko. Tenko raised an eyebrow, some of the vegetables in his mouth as he reached to grab it. He picked it up and read it, only for his face to fall. Touya was quick to speak up, not having noticed the dismay Tenko had shown at first. “My show is next week, and you gotta be there. It’s the one I’ve been practicing for since January, and I got a free ticket, front row.”
Tenko looked back up to him, scanning the date another moment before going back to Touya. “You’ve been talking this up forever now. Is it really that special?” Tenko had asked, Touya blinking, a confused look on his face.
“Course it’s special, it’s the compilation, if I win, I get metal and everything.” Touya had stressed. “You’ll be there right?” A mood swing had shown up, something they had been trying to get Touya medication for, yet with how his body reacted to most medications, it was harder to find than they wished it be.
Tenko was quiet for a moment, looking at the ticket one last time before the sorrowful expression on Touya’s face. “Yeah, I’ll make it.”
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Today was the big day, and Touya had been extra excited. Tenko had said once he wrapped up work, he would be there in the front row cheering him on. Touya had gotten there early, his coach gladly lending him a hand with his skates, hearing the male speak of his pride, of how Tenko would come, see him win first prize, and then maybe take him out for a treat after, speaking as if he was some kid getting ice cream after baseball practice. She had always been humored by Touya, and she seemed to also understand that he could get easily out of it, triggered, and tried her best to protect him from any person who could bring back bad memories.
“He’s taking a while, I go on in ten minutes.” Touya had muttered, looking out at the stands, the reserved seat in the front still having no one sitting in it. Tenko still wasn’t there. Touya was ready to go out, in his studded light blue and white outfit, and his skates fastened comfortably. His coach, who had the nickname of Midnight, her stage name for the shows, had come to his side. “I’m sure he’s just running a bit late, honey.” She had assured the male, Touya, was still eyeing the seat. She soon made Touya turn her, blue eyes meeting hers. “He’ll be here, and when you stick your final landing, he’ll be the first one you see clapping, I promise you.” She had assured him. Touya felt a bit better heading for her confidence, looking to the seat for another moment before coming back, showing a grin. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Now knock them dead tiger!” She was encouraged with a wide smile.
The moment his name was called out, he slid his way onto the ice, hearing the music starting to play as he began his number, focusing on giving the best performance. Tenko would be impressed, he was sure, Midnight was right, he would be the first to clap. Touya had been practicing for so long, so much effort was going into this passion, and he moved with what grace he could use. Even when he jumped, he stuck every landing, ice cutting under the blades of his skates. He always felt so free when he danced, when he moved his body in such ways, it was what he could do to finally express himself, something that was his, something that didn’t hurt him. So, so much hurt, but this, this was what made him feel alive.
His final move was the one he had messed up the most, to lift from the ice and spin, landing and sliding with one knee bent, to strike his final pose in a dip. He took a deep breath, but soon slid his way out to perform the move, and to his desire, he was able to stick the landing. After his dip, the music had faded out and he started to hear cheers over his heavy panting breath. He looked up to the pews of seats, flowers being tossed onto the skating rink. Yet once his eyes landed on Tenko’s seat, an empty seat. His blissful expression fell into a frown, seeing a male with long purple hair next to the empty seat, the male, Iguchi, a long time friend of theirs, was clapping, but had an apologetic look on his face, as he knew what Touya must be looking for, or who. Touya stood back up straight, everything seeming to fade away as he focused on the one spot. Eventually he heard the voice of his coach trying to get him to move, which broke him from his trance. He soon skated off to the gap in the wall, rushing past his coach even as she called his name.
Touya made it to the locker rooms, soon to collapse on the bench, sitting down in defeat. Tenko didn’t come, didn’t even show up for a minute to see his final move. Tenko assured him he would come, yet now, Touya felt shattered that the one thing that mattered to him wasn’t important enough to Tenko.
The rest of the event went by in a blur, being called back on the rink, even getting first place even. He got metal and flowers. Yet each time his eyes went back to the seat Tenko would be at, it was empty. He saw the pitiful look of his friend there, but not Tenko. When asked to speak to the audience, as he was the first place winner, he simply zoned out, shaking his head and moving off the rink, the metal still around his neck and flowers clenched in arms. He felt a burn in his eyes, and soon scars started to creep open, causing wounds to stretch and blood to seep down his cheeks.
“Touya!” His coach had called, chasing after him, soon to find him changing his shoes, flowers on the bench. Touya didn’t say a word, expression blank, broken. Even if she tried to talk to him, he packed up his things, took the flowers back, and started to walk out, having called a cab for a ride as he couldn’t drive. Not like Tenko was going to drive him home.
The car ride was quiet, Touya stuck in his head, as if static was consuming his being. Once he did get home, he unlocked the door and walked in. The door was shut behind him, and as the animals came running to him, he simply stood in the dark room. With the cats pawing at his pant leg, and the dogs circling his feet, all the noises coming to his head, he suddenly broke. A scream had left his lungs, him tossing the flowering, petals scattering around the room. The animals got scared, jumping back. Touya tugged the metal from his neck, snapping the ribbon around his neck, soon to toss it to the ground.
Everything had crumbled within that moment, walls being broken through, and pain finally showing. Tenko didn’t make it.
Tenko made the worst decision of his life.
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Tenko never thought he messed up that bad, yet it wasn’t even his fault. An emergency happened and he was pushed into more work, it was either to go to Touya’s show, or get fired for flaking on work. Two people had left and it left him and one other doctor in his department. As much as some thoughts crossed his mind, he wasn’t allowed to do what he wanted, he couldn’t leave unless he wanted to lose the only job he knew would support them both enough that Touya wouldn’t have to work. If he didn’t work, Touya wouldn’t even be able to ice skate.
He was stuck there for hours, repeatedly checking the clock every few minutes. He had to get to Touya’s show, had to hurry this along, yet to his dismay, it wasn’t what happened.
When Tenko got out of work, it was already far into the night, Touya’s show had ended two hours ago. Tenko missed it. Even so, he tried to run by the skating rink to see if anyone was still there. No, it was empty rather than a few employees. He did run into Midnight however, and after a brief explanation, he was racing his way back to their house. He never thought he would try to get home any sooner, not even when he got a phone call from Touya complaining about a night terror he had, which that day he bolted home.
He was going to unlock the door, yet it wasn’t even locked. Once he swung the door open, he saw the mess it was. Flower petals scattered around the room, one of his dogs sleeping over some, so he knew he must have gotten into some. But then he saw the broken metal on the ground, a big label of #1, on the front. He picked it up, seeing a bit of blood on the gold. That’s when he heard Sardine meowing. Walking forward, he saw her at the closed balcony door, trying to claw her way outside with little success. He went to open the door, soon to spot the man he was looking for.
Touya sat upon one of the chairs, knees hugged up to his chest, face hidden within. He still wore his skating outfit, feet bare. Dried blood was covering his sleeves and a few places on his knees. Tenko could tell he was distraught. “Touya?” Tenko had called, not getting a response other than Touya moving more close within himself. “Touya, I’m sorry, I got caught up in work-“
Sardine had come up to the chair Touya was sitting at, meowing and soon jumping up. That was the only moment Touya had looked up, bringing his hands to pet his cat. Tenko saw the blood smeared along his face, the staples that had fallen or gotten messed up. “Touya, don’t get like this, you know I tried-“
“You said you’d be there.” Touya had muttered, voice raspy, him soon to bring sardine up to lay on his chest, the cat nuzzling against the male. “You lied to me.”
Tenko paused for a moment, knowing that if there was one thing Touya hated, it was being lied to. Touya had so many people lie to him, take advantage of him because of those lies. Didn’t help that Tenko repeatedly assured he would never ever lie to him. “I thought I could make it.” Tenko had stated, looking down to the metal in his hands. “I really wish I did, you must have been so happy to get this.” Touya had always been known as second best, or the rut, never in the spotlight like he wanted, but now he finally got first. And Tenko missed it.
“Wasn’t happy. You weren’t there.” Touya’s voice got more strained, more angry, and soon he stood up, setting the cat down to the ground. Touya was heading inside, surprising Tenko by his sudden outburst.
“Touya, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you.” Tenko had said as he followed Touya inside, the cat following close by Touya’s side.
“How?” Touya had stopped at the doorway of their bedroom, door wide open, both the cats moving inside after Touya. But Touya stood there so Tenko couldn’t enter.
“Well, I probably can ask for a bit of time off next week.” Tenko went to explain, yet right after he said next week. The door slammed in his face, Tenko letting out a whistle, a tic, as he flinched at the loud sound. “Touya please, you can’t be mad at me all night. And that’s our bedroom, you can’t lock me out!”
“Door slam means I’m mad at you, asshole! Sleep on the couch!” Touya yelled back.
Tenko waited for a minute, in a frantic attempt to think of what to say. "But Touya the blankets and stuff that are good for my skin are in there!” Tenko had gone to complain. Touya only let out a groan, some shuffling being made. Tenko looked down to his clothes, soon back up to the door. “And I need pajamas!” He called, turning a louder groan from Touya.
Soon after some shuffling, the door had opened, Touya looking pissed off as he aggressively threw a blanket and a change of clothes at Tenko, followed by another door slam. “Door slam means angry! So fuck off!”
Tenko had fallen back a bit with the weight of all he had tossed to him, looking at the door after he was able to regain balance. “Goodnight Touya!” Tenko had stated, “I’ll just be on the couch, in the cold, all alone-“ He got no pity reply from Touya, which meant the male must really be mad at him. Tenko sighed and gathered anything that fell from his grasp, making his way to the living room. He put the blanket down and gathered the clothes to head to the bathroom. Least Touya was kind enough to give him the clothes he needed. Yet none of his lotion for his skin, he just hoped he forgot some of it in the bathroom.
Tenko couldn’t get to sleep, even after a nice shower, after getting semi comfortable on the couch, he couldn’t. He knew Touya was angry at him, and Tenko didn’t know how to make it up to the male. So he laid there, staring at the ceiling, hoping to know how to make it up to Touya. He truly didn’t mean to miss his preference, he wanted to go, he just didn’t know how to tell Touya he couldn't go in the first place, not when he looked so happy.
Tenko soon sat up from the couch, messy white hair scattered around his head like a messy halo. He looked in the direction of the bedroom, soon to hear his dog waking up, starting to pant and jump onto the couch to cuddle. Tenko petted the dog and looked at him. “Messed up pretty bad, didn’t I? Now how do I fix it?” Tenko had pondered. That’s when he heard a distant sound, a door unlocking. No one came out of the room, in fact the footsteps went further away. Tenko should have guessed all he needed was patience.
He looked back down to Toki, hands against his fat fluffy face. “Let’s go cheer your dad up, yeah?” Tenko moved to get up, Toki followed after as they headed to the door of the shared bedroom, Machia, this other dog, soon to follow as well. Tenko took a breath but soon creaked the door open, looking inside before stepping in. Touya was on his side of the bed, one hand petting the cat that laid next to him, as the other laid near his feet. Some blood was dried up around the pillows, showing Touya had moved from side to side.
“I know you’re mad, but you still came to my room back at the community, even when you hated my guts.” Tenko had pointed out, Touya was not replying to the male. It was true, after five years Tenko had returned, yet Touya had been in such a bad place, so lost, used by a man who told him he loved him, Touya was so angry it took so long for Tenko to come back for him. Yet even so, he went to his room, just to feel the familiar feeling of Tenko’s arms holding him.
Tenko moved closer to the bed after closing the door, the dogs making their way to the foot of the bed, their normal sleeping spot. Tenko got into bed, soon to hold Touya, arms wrapped around his waist. Touya had thankfully changed into more comfortable clothes that the tight outfit he wore during his show.
Tenko knew he made the right more as Touya didn’t move away, and may have even eased up a bit into the touch. “Why didn’t you come?” Touya asked after a while of silence.
Tenko signed, hiding his face in Touya’s back. “Two people left, was basically on my own and if I left, I’d get fired for sure. Don’t want you to have to try and work, I need this job, it’s what pays for your lessons.” Tenko went to complain. Touya went back to being silent, but spoke again. “I asked Shuichi to record it, I can watch it once he sends me the video, I’ll watch it with you. Then we can display your medal in the house, hang it up so everyone can see how amazing you did.” Tenko had assured the male.
It took another few minutes, but soon Touya turned in his arms, soon to wrap his arms around the more frail body of Tenko. “Don’t miss any more of my shows.” Touya had muttered into his chest, holding him tightly, Tenko soon bringing a hand to play with white strands of hair.
“Wouldn’t count on it.” Tenko had assured the male, laying his chin to the top of Touya’s head. “Now get some rest, sure you’re exhausted.” Touya had only nodded when the suggestion was given, easing up a tad of his hold on the other male. It was peaceful after that, some bumps still in the road, yet they had conquered so much in their time together, had fought demons stronger than the both of them alone, had overpowered the odds and stuck it out together. It was another bumpy ride, but Tenko felt they could get to that level of their lives just as they did the previous, and keep moving forward.