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No one was there, no one near. Running, trying to breathe, it's exhausting, your body is eating you alive, burning within you.
Your feet grow heavier every step you take to reach your desired destination. You know where you're going, you know the ministry, you take another one left. Making your way through the dark corridors. You feel your body slowly giving up, the adrenaline fading away. With thoughts overflowing your panicked mind.
The door, finally…you don't knock, just open and drag yourself in there. Letting the heavy door fall shut behind you.
"not now" a rough voice came from the figurine on the other side of the table. You just stood there, waiting for your legs to give up. Till you let your body rest against the door. Now he looked up from the sound. You couldn't see the expression on his face when he realized it was you.
You were gliding down, legs pressed against your torso. Whimpering, panic finally overtook control.
Footsteps you could barely hear, coming near, he's trying not to scare you even more. He crouched down beside you. Not touching, not yet. But talking in his deep voice, telling you something, your mind didn't pick up. But you felt his presence. Did you want that? Or is even that too much, right now? Your path led you here, but everything was screaming inside of you.
Breathing, trying to focus on that. Why is that hard? It feels like the air is burning inside of your lungs.
Your arms hugged tighter around your legs, your body shook.
Still with the talking, his voice in the background. He was sitting beside you now, his back on the same door, but still space between your bodies. You let your head fall against his shoulder. Wanting contact, needing the sensation of his body.
Your eyelids pressed firmly against each other, trying hard to concentrate on something… anything.
Your breathing was fast, but didn't feel like fire anymore. More air reaches your lungs, and lets oxygen flood through your veins.
"good, you're doing so good" he spoke, and still didn't dare to touch you, frightened he would scare you away. He was there for you, making sure you knew that " darling, deep breaths, ok, keep going." he praised you. Your voice was rough and hardly there, still panicking, but you knew he wouldn't cross boundaries without your consent "hold me" you whispered. Letting your head snuggle deeper into his shoulder. He did, carefully wrapping his arms around you, feeling the pressure from his bigger body, calming you down.
You cried, but you think you did this for a while, unsure why. Whimpering leaving you, while you try to get yourself out of your panicked state. With every sound that left you, he tried to close more distance, hold you tighter.
"thank you" you said out of breath, your body sweaty, and still tears in your eyes. But you manage to get your breathing back under your control for now.
" darling, of course" he spoke in a deep soft voice," don't thank me"
"mhm" you, sniff your nose against his shirt "thank you papa" he laughed, hearing you use his title. He stroked through your hair, calming you down" want to talk about it? " he asked carefully. You shook your head, not being ready for it yet.
" that's OK, take your time" you looked at him, seeing him smile down at you through your tear-stained eyes. Your wounds will take time to heal, and you were only at the beginning. You would tell him eventually, now you just wanted to spend a few more minutes in the arms of your papa.
He kissed your forehead slightly, before resting his on yours.
Closing his eyes before beginning to hum a song. You let your body relax into his, snuggle deeper into his arms. Trying to let your mind rest and focus on the sounds and vibrations of his voice.
"Remember always
That love is all you need
Tell me who you wanna be
And I will set you free"