Chapter 1: Myself
Chapter Text
Raindrops. Teardrops. Blood drops. There were so many droplets that covered her face. She couldn't stop crying. How could she? It was her big brother's birthday. She stole her parent's secret stash and ran to the store. She bought something she believed her brother would adore. She may have been hated, but her brother wasn't showered with love.
A young girl who had nothing to live for. The only joy in her life was seeing her elder brother's smile. He shielded her, sung to her, and took care of her when their parents failed to do so. She could never hope to return the favor on her own, so she took the risk and bought him a stuffed animal to show her appreciation and adoration for him. She even got Solm's flower placed on the ear of the stuffed animal.
She tried to remain secretive about taking the money, but she was only a child. Even when she snuck in and tried to deliver the present to her brother, her father found out. Her repulsive father had thrown a fit over his money going missing. Even in his drunk state, he knew who he wanted to blame.
Her brother tried to shield her, but there was nothing he could do. The scumbag of a father had tied his son to a chair so he could watch as he beat up his little sister for daring to steal from him. No amount of screaming and begging could stop him. The poor girl put her hands above her head in a vain attempt to protect herself. Her only salvation was if her father got bored. At some point, she would stop responding due to her injuries. Her father doesn't care that he might accidentally kill her one day. When he's satisfied, he glares at his son before leaving. He doesn't bother untying him.
Her brother has learned how to get out of ropes over time. This not being the first time had terrible implications. The little girl learned that her brother simply used powerful magic to burn the rope when he couldn't get it out through normal means. He rushes over to his sister and attempts to heal her. His healing magic was self-taught, so it's not as potent as what it could be if he learned from a priest that wasn't his mother. Their horrible mother only cared about the type of magic that can cause harm and destruction. Her brother's hands were meant for healing. She noticed her brother's hair growing as he exerts this power.
"I'm so sorry Panette…this is all my fault."
She tries to stop herself from crying, but she's still a child. She instinctively cried when she was hit. If she bellowed, the chance of her father coming back to hit her would be high, so she bit her lip praying that the monster wouldn't return.
"It's not…it's mine…"
"...You tried to do something nice for me, and this is what happened…" He looks over to the toy that Panette carefully picked out and bought with the money. Cotton scattered everywhere mixed with the blood from their father's fist. The eyeball of the toy was yanked out. The toy laid dead as a reminder to how sad this family was. "...The least I can do though is fix it."
"You can…do that?"
Why would she ask that? Her brother was capable of fixing anything with his magic. When the pain was finally numbed, she watched as her brother walked over to the destroyed toy. He picked the toy up off the ground and started mumbling something underneath his breath.
A miracle happened before her eyes. The cotton was gathered and put back into the toy. The blood smeared all over it evaporated into the air. The eyeball secured itself back into the eye socket. It was as if the toy was never torn apart in the first place.
"There, all fixed."
The little girl stared in awe at her present being repaired. Her brother's hair nearly reached the floor at this point.
"Wow. He's perfect now!"
The toy still belongs to her brother, but she can't help but be bedazzled at it. Her brother smiles warmly before touching his hair.
"Your hair Brother. It's-"
"It will return back to its normal length in due time," he answers quickly. Panette can see he's far from pleased with how long his hair got. "...But I have to avoid Mother…I don't want her knowing that I used my magic again…"
Right. Their wicked mother wanted her son to use his magic. It means she can drag him away and test out some theories about it. Most of her words went over Panette's head. She didn't know what scary things her mother did to her brother, and she was too scared to find out.
"Panette, don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
The chances of him getting caught by either parent were high, but he still wanted his little sister to promise him not to say a word about his magic.
"I won't, Brother. Just…don't exert yourself."
Her brother's tired smile only made her want to be better for him. She isn't the saint like he is. That's why she's not surprised when the scenario fades to black as she turns away from him and walks away without looking back.
Panette opens her eyes. The first thing she wants to do is punch something. Whenever she had dreams about her parents, it made her want to scream and shout. She has gotten better at handling these dreams because of Timerra and Merrin. It didn't change the fact that they can't stop her from getting them.
Panette's relationship with her parents was less than stellar. She was considered a failure at birth. Unlike her brother who had potency in magic, she had none of what her mother wanted and was discarded immediately. She pretended Panette never existed in the first place and focused all of her time on Pandreo. Her father was stuck with the leftovers and was technically in charge of her. He wasn't all that interested in being a parent after Pandreo, so he took his frustration out on her. It was always Pandreo patching her up. It was always Pandreo who avoided getting hit because their mother insisted that she would kill their father if he laid a finger on her little experiment. It was always Pandreo who took the place of their parents when it came to trying to raise her. How did she repay him? She ran away from home.
Pandreo insists that he never felt hatred toward her for picking the smart option and leaving. However, Panette knew that she wouldn't be missed with how she was on the bottom of the family tree. She had no idea what happened to her brother during that period of time. She wished she dragged him with her, but she knew back then that was impossible. Their mother was a controlling witch. She would make sure that Pandreo had no means of leaving. So even though Pandreo had told her that he was a coward that stayed behind, the reality was in no universe would he be able to leave without severe consequences.
Things ended up okay for the both of them. Their parents abandoned Pandreo leaving him with their church. She got to become Timerra's retainer (even if she feels she doesn't deserve such an important position) and Fogado would find her brother and make him his retainer allowing them to finally reunite.
The berserker believed she knew her brother best, but she felt something was off when they spoke to each other again. He was still as saintly and patient as she remembered, but something else was hidden behind his gentle smile. It wasn't hate. He could only deliver love to everyone he meets. But she felt a negative emotion radiating out of him. If she had to guess, it might have to do with the long after effects of sticking around their parents. They weren't open-minded people and it showed with Pandreo not being honest with himself. Panette knew who he was and what he wanted to be, but his mother's words might have killed any hope of him being honest with himself and his body.
After having dreams about her wicked parents, Panette always had the urge to check up on Pandreo. If he ever had nightmares of his childhood, he never said anything. She feels small and childish going to her brother after a dream like that, but it's better to start the day to get the bad vibe out of her mind than let it fester for the rest of the day.
She checks herself with the small vanity mirror that fits in her tent to make sure she doesn't look like a mess. Even if she didn't care about her appearance, she hated to be seen as a scoundrel when standing next to her future queen. She slowly crawls out of her tent. Timerra and Merrin weren't awake yet. The sun was only just rising, meaning that only a few people were awake at this time. Panette may have been a night owl, but she was capable of rising early if the situation demanded it.
Immediately, she noticed the birds of the Somniel fly past her. This was followed by someone singing. Normally, if anyone sang this early, there was always going to be someone to tell them to keep it down. It's why the voice was coming from the lookout ridge where everyone was far enough away that they could only vaguely hear them.
Panette recognized the voice. Already, her negative feelings melted away. "Brother is up early…"
The young retainer slowly walks away from her tent to avoid waking up Timerra and Merrin. She makes her way toward the lookout ridge. It's not just birds that are flying toward her brother but other animals she didn't know lived on the Somniel approached him. This combined with the dogs and cats that the Divine Dragon adopted after a skirmish and he had the animal kingdom by his side.
Panette always wondered why Pandreo's singing resonated with animals. Even as a kid, she recalled how animals would come out of hiding and shyly approach her brother. Whenever she tried to get near them, they ran away. She accepted most animals were going to hate her, but whenever she always stared in awe at how Pandreo could make them adore him.
Maybe it has something to do with what Mother expected of him. Panette thinks to herself. She was always left in the dark about what their mother did to Pandreo behind closed doors.
She does her best to approach her brother without alerting him. He's in the middle of singing another song. She has no idea if he came up with it or if he found a song to sing in the church's scriptures. She assumed it was the former. The old folks could never come up with songs like this.
"Why, oh why do I love you so much?
My tears overflow this much
Back in that time, there was so much to lose that I couldn't sing anything
A place just a little ways away-That was where I was
That day, deep in your eyes, I saw the loneliness
Are the two of us really alike?"
That was only the first verse, but it's enough for Pandreo to stop. Once he stops singing, Panette finally notice that he had an emblem on him. It was one of the new ones that Alear had obtained. If she recalled, her name was Marianne. She was out of commission for battle, but that didn't mean she wasn't available to speak to on the Somniel.
She silently applauds Pandreo once he's done.
"That was amazing," Marianne praises. "It may have only been the first part, but I felt like I was on the clouds."
Pandreo smiles timidly. "It's not all that special. Although, the animals do seem to like it."
"Oh, they don't just like it. They love your songs. They always want to come see you when you're ready to perform. It makes them feel so warm and happy."
"You think so?"
Marianne nods her head. Pandreo glances toward the animals who all stared at him with stars in their eyes.
"You really can understand what they're saying…"
The conversation between Pandreo and Marianne was cut short when Panette accidentally took a tiny step forward. The animals noticed and scattered. It's not just the animals that flee at the sight of the newcomer. Marianne instantly reacts to the scared animals and vanishes back into the ring leaving Pandreo alone. Panette should feel insulted, but she's used to this sort of reaction by now.
"Hey, it's just my sister. No need to be scared," Pandreo tries to console the emblem out of the ring. He gets no response.
"It's fine, Brother. I'm used to it."
"You shouldn't be. You're a very kind girl. Phantom is proof that animals can adore you."
"That's different…"
It was different. Taking care of a wolf is not the same as trying to speak to random animals around the Somniel. The animals Alear adopt flee from her. The horses aren't all that interested in interacting with her. Sommie liked everyone, so he didn't count.
"Do you need anything? You're usually attending Princess Timerra this early."
"I just wanted to see you. That's all," she answers truthfully.
Pandreo reads her like a book. It's always been like this. He waits for her to tell him the real reason she wants to see him.
"...I had a dream of our childhood. I just wanted to make sure you were still around."
"I'm still here. You have made sure of that."
Right, Panette swore she would protect her foolish brother. He was the type of person to prioritize everyone around him before himself. He'll heal others and put himself in harm's way if it means someone could live to see another day. He was like Alear in that regard, but the Divine Dragon continued to entrust Emblem Micaiah to him. His self-sacrificing nature may very well kill him if she wasn't around to protect him. Fogado had the same mindset in battle, so it's not like she was shouldering the burden alone, but she had to make sure her princess and her brother made it out in one piece.
"You know what I mean."
He knows, but he pretends that he doesn't. He doesn't fool her. Panette knows the past is as upsetting with him as it is her. He's just better at hiding it from others. How many people in Solm know the truth of their parents?
"The dream I had reminded me of the present I gave you for your birthday that one time. The last time before I ran away…" Panette explains. "Do you…still have it?"
"I don't," Pandreo answers sadly. "When you left, Mother made sure that anything that was from you was ripped apart and thrown out."
Panette isn't surprised. Their father may be a thug but their mother was a monster wearing human skin. What were the chances that she tore up the toy Pandreo worked so hard to repair with his magic and told Pandreo that he only has himself to blame for accepting such a gift?
"She's not here anymore, so that can easily be rectified. Come, we shall get you a new one."
Pandreo gawks at his sister's suggestion. "H-Huh? Why?"
"Do you hear yourself Brother? You can't just tell me what befall my old present and expect me not to give a damn."
"It's not a priority though. We have to help the Divine Dragon finish the war."
Panette knows that. They've been sidetracked constantly. From obtaining more bracelets than they could count to finding out that the well was connected to another Elyos that was the end of the world for everyone in it. The Divine Dragon was too kind. Even when faced with dealing with his Sombron, he helped those who were still alive. Three of the Four Winds were taken back to their world as well as the two dragons that gave Alear so much heartache in a short amount of time.
And then there was the recent incident with her brother's cooking. She knew he felt terrible about it and doubled his effort to help Alear. But he was going to run himself to the ground before they even got a chance to get to Sombron. Maybe her plan was selfish, but she wanted to give her brother something that he could keep in his quarters. No one would judge him for having a teddy bear especially if it reminded him of a certain someone.
"We can do both. Now come, my dear Brother. The day has only just begun."
If she lets Pandreo speak, he might convince her to stop her stupid idea. If only she wasn't motivated by resentment toward her parents, perhaps Pandreo would have agreed. But it's not like the Divine Dragon was going to yell at them if they weren't shopping for supplies, right?
They rarely get to hang out like this. Panette knows they still will after the war, but they need to survive first. They are near the final stretch. Whatever happened in Brodia made Alear have to push things back again, but since he obtained another emblem, it made sense. So Panette was going to make sure Pandreo obtained something that he truly cherished in the past.
Solm's marketplace was the largest of all four nations. Trade was their strongest point. Imported goods and unique items were always up for grabs. While it would be difficult to find the exact same toy that Pandreo had many years ago, she felt like she could find a substitute bear.
Panette had to prepare to protect her brother even if they were going out to the marketplace. Fogado had mentioned before that her brother has been the target of dangerous people. Panette had only been the witness to one group and she will tear their entire ship apart if she sees them again. No amount of kidnapping attempts fazed her brother. He can protect himself, but most of these people know that putting innocent people in danger makes him fold way too quickly.
So, even though she didn't have to, she brought her wolf with her. Phantom was the wolf she used to go on hunts with. She got along well with the pack Timerra had at her disposal. She befriended Phantom early in her life shortly after running away from home. A pup that was separated from her herd. With no one else to rely on, Panette easily became her best friend and one of the few animals that wasn't scared of her. Phantom rubbed off of her owner though and scared everyone around her. She was loyal to Panette, but there have been times where Panette felt that her wolf companion would leave her at the drop of the hat if Pandreo offered her meat while singing.
Right now, Phantom cozied up to Pandreo instead of her. At least he was being guarded properly, but that was her wolf.
"Panette, do you have an idea on which stall it will be?" Pandreo asks her. "I mean, it's not really important. We can just go for what you like and I'll buy it for you."
"Nonsense Brother. I will not stand the idea that your present was ripped from you after I left. Please allow me to make it up to you."
"It really isn't necessary…"
Ignoring her brother's words, Panette goes to every stall in front of her in search of one that is selling toys. Food, jewelry and weapons are all common stands. There is one for medicine, many for clothes and some for miscellaneous items that are for your home. Solm should have a toy stall…
"Really. I'm too old for that sort of thing now."
"Oh really? If I recall, you stared at Gregory's animal collection in awe."
Pandreo flinches. "T-That's because he managed to collect them at an alarming rate. He hasn't been here for long and the room he's in already is filled with them."
It is true that Gregory had gone shopping the moment he escaped from the other Elyos and it's true that he used the money Alear was generous enough to give him on whatever he wanted, but she saw how some people on the Somniel looked into his room with envy. Rosado may have squealed when he peeked into the room, but Pandreo stayed quiet about it.
Perhaps her dream was just telling her that Pandreo secretly yearned for the toy he lost as a child.
The two would finally find a stall that was selling toys. The line was busy; Parents were buying toys for their little girls. Few guys were buying them for their date. To show adoration in Solm, you showered your significant other with gifts. It would be strange for a guy to buy toys for himself, but since this was the country of freedom, you couldn't exactly complain if someone did just that. The Queendom still had these issues. Hopefully, Timerra will finally be able to break this bad trend when she becomes queen.
"Panette…it's fine…"
Pandreo knew he should have stayed tacit. She clearly wanted it up to him, but no matter how many times he told her he bore no grudge, she insisted on correcting the wrongs of the past. If he was going to get a plushie, a stalker he knows all too well will just shove the gift in his face.
"My, it seems like the Divine Dragon is being made into a stuffed toy," Panette exclaims.
That got his attention. "Really?!"
Word traveled fast throughout Elyos. When the Divine Dragon finally arrived in Solm with his party, the people of Solm welcomed him. He was already a celebrity around these parts, but helping chase off the Four Hounds at the palace was what solidified his status as a God. Pandreo still held onto the belief that Alear was a special individual, but interacting with him more made him realize that he was just as ordinary as everyone else in the world.
Tragedy struck when the last Divine Dragon toy was taken by a child. Panette looked ready to wrestle her, but Pandreo placed his hand on his sister's shoulder.
"It's fine Panette. We already have the Divine Dragon at home."
That is true. Who needs a toy when Pandreo can pray to Alear in the flesh? Still, he could one-up Alear's stewards if he had a Divine Dragon toy.
The store did not have the exact same design that Panette bought. It's been more than five years and that sort of design would be outdated. Still, she refused to give up. It had to be the exact stuffed teddy bear or it will be seen as a lesser replacement. Her brother deserved the world.
That's why Panette felt defeated when she realized this store wasn't going to have what she was looking for. The shopkeeper implied that she'll have to start looking at other stores. The worst case scenario is she might have to get one in Firene that almost matches the description.
"Panette, I'm not upset about losing it. You're here with me. That's all I could ask for."
"But still…it wasn't right for her."
"I know, but you know if I had the materials, I would renovate it myself."
"You…can do that?"
"I most likely could, but you know right now isn't a good time. I do not want what happened in the kitchen to happen again because I was trying to recreate my childhood."
Again, that cooking incident was brought up. Panette knows that it's just an excuse for him not to use those special powers he has. If only he could use that magic with confidence again…then he would be able to fix so many things and not just the toy.
"Then after the war, I expect you to put on a show and fix it in front of me. Just like old times."
He doesn't like this hidden power in him, but she knows he'll cave to her at least. She hasn't judged him and she hasn't outed him about the sudden surge of magic that came from within.
"Things would be different though," Panette adds. "For example, if our parents tried to take it away from you again, I will tear them to shreds and make them understand that they will not interfere with our lives again."
"Panette…that's way too much."
Normally, she would be able to control her temper in front of people. As Timerra's retainer, she is expected to act ladylike. She's with her brother where he told her it's okay to talk like her old self.
"Pandreo, is that you?"
A voice oh so familiar was enough for Pandreo to freeze in place. He wants to run away. He wants to scream. He doesn't want to be here anymore.
Panette is just as taken back when she hears the voice. Compared to her brother, she immediately grips at her axe ready to swing at a moment's notice. Her wolf snarls feeling the sudden rise in tension.
It was as if the world had frozen over. People may be walking past them and going about their day, but there were only a few people with a spotlight on them. Across from the siblings stood two people who looked identical to them in terms of eye and hair color. The demeanor couldn't be any different. Their appearance caused hell to freeze over.
He doesn't want to be the one to break the spell, but seeing the woman that he was a clone of before him only caused him to spill out those words.
"Mother?"
Chapter Text
Since the dawn of time…
Humans have always feared "the darkness".
Vampires, werewolves, zombies, ghosts…
Although it differs slightly from culture to culture, people's fear of the darkness has grounded them into living conservatively.
But times have changed as knowledge and power throughout the world. Humans have grown to fear the actions of their own kind even more than the darkness itself.
The story of the heroes who stood up against the corrupt society has already ended with them as the victors. However, one world's problem does not extend to others and those who do not learn to fear the darkness will suddenly find the darkness staring back at them.
In the darkest depths of hell, a sealed contract burns inside its case. This has happened often in the Netherworld. Humans who make contracts with demons will find ways around the contract. The flames are a warning to the demons that the human intends to betray them, and so demons are sent to retrieve the human soul forcibly.
All humans die some day. The majority of them are judged in the void before determining where their soul will be laid to rest. The majority of humanity ends up in hell for even a slight taint is enough to be rejected from heaven.
Souls are just balls of light that get stuffed into a physical form. In order to atone for the crimes while alive, they must work in the afterlife. Such is the sad fate of humanity who have forgotten that Death and the demons will always win in the end.
But it's not all bad. The souls are stuffed into adorable penguins known as Prinnies. They are paid to work and are the lowest of the low in the Netherworld. They must endure unimaginable pain and suffering before they either earn enough money to reincarnate or have paid for their sins with their work to assist others. It has been accepted at this point that because humans are destined to sin, factories are needed to manufacture the Prinny Suits. Otherwise, the machine will malfunction and just slap Prinny Hats on potential souls.
Prinnies are trained by Prinny Instructors before they are shipped off to either heaven or hell depending on their performance. It's only the first step in a long afterlife, but those who graduate are rewarded with a single sardine…a Prinny's pride and joy.
Recently, this one Netherworld has decided to take on more human worlds as of late to increase the overall productivity in Hades. It's a tiresome and often rewardless job, but there is one vampire that takes pride in his job of training Prinnies. He was the hero of the story mentioned above, but he is a very humble demon. Rather than move up the ranks for his deeds, he returns to the lowest parts of hell to re-educate the souls of humanity that have died. His friends will never understand why he chooses the most difficult path, but they aren't going to change his mind, so they visit him from time to time.
His steward never leaves his side though. He is a werewolf who manages his lord's schedule and makes sure everything is organized. He is also the one that checks to see if a foolish human dares to make a pact with his lord unaware of the type of person they are making a pact to. His steward is cunning. Many of these contracts are not honest in the slightest. It's just a way to increase the amount of Prinnies that exist. His lord is none the wiser. There is one contract in particular that his lord participated in knowingly. He heard a cry for revenge and a promise to right what is wrong. His lord enjoyed dealing with humans who do not go back on his or her word. It makes things easier once the contract has been fulfilled.
The werewolf growls looking at a particular contract. While the ones around them have burned with demons ready to take the life of the person who made said pacts, this one simply refused to completely burn out. It's as if the person who made that pact is defying destiny in order to prolong their time in the human world. And of course, it just happened to be the same one that his lord decided to personally grant.
"As expected. I knew this witch was never going to keep her word," the werewolf growls to himself. "Lord Valvatorez is not going to be pleased."
He says this, but he can't help but smirk. He loves when his lord is angry. It means he's willing to sink his teeth into his enemies and put them in their rightful place. His lord still refuses to drink the blood of humans, but it still sends shivers down his spine whenever he sees the terrified look of a human that is ready to be dragged to hell.
So the steward casually walks through the corridors of their home base. Prinnies are tasked with cleaning the halls and delivering messages around the prison. He knows his lord is in his room snacking on those smelly sardines that he loves more than anything else in the world.
"My lord, I bring you urgent news."
"Hmm? Waat ish it Fenrich?"
The werewolf known as Fenrich holds back a deep sigh. His lord is one of the most dangerous demons in all of hell…but he is very childish.
"Please do not speak with your mouth full. It is unfitting for a demon such as yourself."
His lord just waves at him as he stops to bite the meat off the sardines. He makes sure he doesn't swallow the bones. It wouldn't be the first time that he got the fish bones stuck in his teeth.
"What do you need to tell me, Fenrich? Is the Lass finally deciding to take her role as a Prinny seriously?"
"Unfortunately, no."
"What a shame."
"It is worse than that. Recall the contract you made in that one human world."
"Mmm-hmm. What about it?"
"...The contract is past its due date. It burns brightly, but it will not turn to ash. The witch is going against her promise."
That got his lord's attention. The vampire's relaxed face immediately flares up. "Oh-ho-ho. A human is trying to defy my word?"
"That is mostly the case. I am already investigating what the issue is. You will have to sit back and wait before you are allowed to grab her soul."
"Why can't I simply do it now? You know I hate people who take promises lightly."
Fenrich doesn't want to admit that the witch probably found something in her world that is allowing her to temporarily block all contact with the Netherworld. It gives her enough time to find a loophole and if Valvatorez isn't careful, he could end up with a soul he didn't ask for.
"Patience is a virtue."
That only irritated his lord. "Don't remind me of that bastard."
"You can learn from him. Revenge is best served cold as they say."
"I don't want revenge. I want my promises to be kept. Any human who thinks they can go against my word will find I am not a very nice demon in the afterlife."
Oh, would Fenrich enjoy the idea of his lord reverting to his tyrant form just to put the human in her place. Tyrant Valvatorez was one of the most dangerous demons the Netherworld has ever known 400 years ago. Sadly, a promise made to a human nun caused Valvatorez to lose his powers over time until he was put into this pitiful tiny form. He had already regained most of his powers after fighting through the corrupt system, but he still wasn't back at full power. He just needed one last push. If this human can be used to revert him back to his old self, then Fenrich is willing to put in the effort.
"You will have your promise fulfilled. Just let me do my job as your faithful steward and you will obtain her soul very soon."
Valvatorez rolls his eyes in annoyance. He was the type of demon to just march over and take it, but if Fenrich tells him this is the case, he will believe him like he always does. It's the type of relationship they always had and will continue to have for a very long time.
All hopes of having a good shopping day were ruined because of their parents. Panette resists the urge to scream in her brother's presence, but looking at anything resembling glass destroys her resolve bit by bit. Her wolf looked at her rider with concerned eyes. Panette didn't need sympathy compared to her brother.
Her brother looked like he saw the ghost of those that perished in battle against the fell dragon. The reunion went poorly because of Panette's abrasive personality. Pandreo failed to utter a single word in the presence of his mother. If she was attempting to hug him (Panette doubted that was in her vocabulary), he would crumble on the spot.
The siblings weren't expecting the Divine Dragon waiting for them in the plaza. They've been gone for a while, so it was only natural for Alear to be awake. What they didn't know is that Alear rose out of bed earlier than usual. Instead of going downstairs to meet everyone, he stayed in his room and looked out the window. He noticed the siblings leave the plaza. He assumed that the two would have a magnificent morning.
That's why when the two returned looking like they came back from a war zone, Alear knew something happened.
"Pandreo, Panette, what happened?" He asks.
"Divine One…" Pandreo tries to speak. He hates how squeaky his voice sounds. It's more than a lump stuck in his throat. He feels bile threatening to rise to the surface. "...My apologies for showing you an unsightly state…I…"
His mother brings out the worst in him. Even if he screams in silence, there is nothing he can do against her. It scares him. He doesn't want anyone to know what is going on through his mind. His sister may have an idea, but he believes it's not worth talking about.
"Pandreo, are you okay? Are you feeling ill?"
Alear tries to reach out toward the young priest, but he steps back to avoid the benevolent hand that strives to heal him.
"...I might be ill. I apologize, Divine One…I don't think I'll be able to do much today. Please excuse me."
He's pathetic. How can he act like this in front of his little sister? In front of the Divine One for God's sake.
Alear is trying to speak to him but he already turned out. He did a pathetic bow before rushing past him. He hopes to retreat to the room that was bestowed to him on the Somniel. His troubles weren't over yet. As he was turning the corner, he bumped into Mauvier. He nearly fell over, but the royal knight grabbed his arm before he did.
"Oh Mauvier…"
"You should be careful not to run here. You could hurt yourself."
Mauvier is so kind. He hates how his mind goes straight to wanting to have this man comfort him. Pandreo's worries are worth nothing. Nobody deserved to hear him vent.
"Sorry…I'm not feeling well…" Pandreo answers weakly. He's only half-lying at this point. His vision is getting blurrier by the minute. "I'm retiring for the rest of the day. Please…excuse me."
"Pandreo, wait…"
The usually hyperactive priest scurried away like a sick animal. Mauvier wanted him to stop. He immediately noticed something was off. If his body posture wasn't a tall-tell sign, then it was the tears threatening to roll down the priest's face. Something welled up inside him. What happened and who hurt Pandreo like this?
Alas, he has no right to ask around. He only has two jobs in the Somniel. To protect Lady Veyle and to atone for his crimes. Anything else was selfish and would lead him astray again. It's why he doesn't chase after the younger male despite everything in him ordering him to do so.
Alear is unable to take care of Panette's rage. She fully intended to keep it boiling deep within her. Fortunately for him, The future Queen of Solm was heading their way. She always seemed to catch her retainers when they were down. Her great intuition proved to be a great asset for her and everyone in the Somniel. Just seeing her smiling face was enough to cheer anyone up.
"Hey, why the long face? You can't have that look in front of the Divine One," she says in a teasing tone.
"I know…" Panette mumbles. Her princess' appearance does remove the white cloud above her head. "But…it's nothing to trouble you with Boss."
"And that's where you're wrong. As your princess and friend, I expect you to tell me what's wrong. No use trying to keep it to yourself this time."
"But…"
"Deep breathes. Like I taught you. You'll feel better in no time."
Panette does as she's ordered. When she's on the verge of becoming a mad boar, she must take deep breaths and force herself to relax. It's embarrassing to do it in front of others, but there's no way Timerra will leave her alone until her rage subsides.
A combination of the deep breathing training and Timerra's presence finally results in Panette calming her mind and body. Alear has seen how angry Panette gets on the battlefield. She was an amazing warrior that made quick work of her enemies. Off the battlefield, she was reserved and polite, so seeing her raging like a bull worried him.
Timerra is able to get Panette to sit down next to her at the campfire. The fire isn't needed during the day, but they can still sit around it. Solm's future queen is able to calm down her retainer's wolf before dismissing her. Her pack of wolves were in the Somniel, so she believed the pack leader would take care of her if she suffered any injuries.
"Now then, tell me what's got you so mad Panette."
Panette can't hide anything from her princess. Even when it was something she wanted to handle on her own, Timerra will be there for her. She and Merrin were irreplaceable friends.
"I had an unfortunate encounter with my parents," Panette answers. She feels her voice dipping into something dangerous. "To say I was surprised that they were alive like my brother said they were would be a huge understatement."
Solm's princess assumed that it was an argument between the siblings during their shopping trip. If it was something like that, she could laugh and joke about what Panette did and what she could do to fix it. There is nothing to laugh at when the topic is about their parents.
Panette was rather secretive about her past. When Timerra first took her in, she noticed how withdrawn the young girl was. She was great in battle even if her rage made it difficult to stop her once she started swinging her axe. Outside of battle, she had a rough tongue that was unsuited for upper society. Even if Solm didn't care about manners, Panette assumed that it was important to appear refined instead of a punk, so she tried to turn her life around for her princess. Timerra told her she liked both sides of Panette. She's proud of Panette for opening up to her even if it's just a little bit.
The topic of her family was still a sour spot. She did some research on them and was horrified to learn what they have been doing before they disappeared leaving Pandreo to survive on his own. Since her parents never found her until this moment, it was safe to assume they never cared in the first place.
"Oh, that is something to be mad about," Timerra ends up saying. A tiny smidge of herself wanted to smack herself for wording it like that. "Did they hurt you?"
Another stupid question to ask, but she had to make sure. If they laid a finger on her retainer (or her brother's retainer), she can have the excuse to arrest them.
"Physically? No. Emotionally…" Panette's voice trails off. Just hearing her mother was enough to see red.
"Hey, there's someone else here," Alear interrupts. While trying to pinpoint the problem and what he can do for his friend, he notices the rustling in the bush. He sees a feather sticking out. While anyone could wear a hat with a feather, this particular feather made it clear who was eavesdropping on the conversation. It's not like Alear could punish the person. The Somniel is just an easy place to walk in on different conversations.
"Oh? It's probably Fogado." Timerra glances over to the push. "You can come out now."
It's not a coincidence that Fogado was snooping around his sister. If there's a somewhat serious discussion going on, Fogado isn't too far away from Timerra. Panette has gotten used to him spying on them, but she wished that this time, he would understand she would like some privacy.
"Hey Fogado! What's my little sibby doing behind the bushes?" She asks as if she doesn't know the answer.
"Oh. This and that. Just finished tuning my bow. Felt something was off in the air and I walked into a weird group formation. The Divine Dragon with my sister and her retainer? We're just missing Pandreo."
"He already left," Alear tells him. "He didn't look so good."
"So I heard…" Fogado always had ways of finding out what was going on with his retainers. He arrived too late to check up on his retainer. "I also heard that two lost parents have decided to grace you and Pandreo again."
"I wish they hadn't…"
Panette will never admit it, but she is envious of the royal siblings and their relationship with their parents. While their father isn't on the best of terms with Timerra due to a misunderstanding that still hasn't resolved itself, the siblings adored their mother and she loved them just as much. The tiny retainer imagines a universe where she had loving parents and an older brother who didn't try to hold the entire world on his shoulders.
"What did they say? I can't imagine it was good."
Timerra would have asked the same question. She doesn't mind too much that her brother is stealing her fire. If she hadn't calmed her retainer down, Panette might not answer the question in a way they can get the needed information out.
However, there was still a single factor that Timerra didn't consider. The wounds that Panette's parents inflicted on her were deeply engraved into her psyche. A simple question should have resulted in a simple response, but Panette stared at Fogado blankly.
"What did they say?" She asks, confused that Fogado would ask such a question.
Fogado waits patiently for an actual answer. The young berserker only registers now that she had no idea what her parents were saying. Their mouths were moving, but it was all sound to her. She closes her eyes desperately trying to remember anything they said outside of the obvious.
"My anger has made things very difficult. All I can remember is how they said they wanted to start over. But Father didn't say anything and Mother did all the talking…"
The shame she felt was immeasurable. It's a simple question that she can't even answer. She failed as Timerra's retainer and as a little sister for Pandreo. Why was it so hard to care?!
"I cut them off and started cursing. I forgot how to act like a refined lady and returned to my roots…" Panette laments. "I told them in the angriest way possible that I do not and will not trust their word."
Her mind immediately recalls what set her off in the first place. Even though their parents just saw them again for the first time after abandoning them, their mother still managed to insult her by only looking and speaking with Pandreo. The reason they abandoned their son was to look for her, but now that they found her again, their mother went right back to favoring Pandreo. And that's not even considering how Panette's rage caused a scene in Solm's marketplace. Maybe she is unaware of her actions. Maybe seeing them again caused her to fall back into motion. It didn't matter to Panette. She just wanted to scratch at her mother's face for causing distress toward Pandreo.
"Even though I was lashing out at them, my brother promised them that they could see the Divine Dragon if they wanted to prove they wanted to atone for their sins. I cannot deal with him sometimes."
Now, he sees why Panette was so stressed. Just mentioning the parents made the Solm siblings concerned. Now, Timerra and Fogado shifted their expressions.
"That…is going too fast…" Alear mumbles.
Fogado shakes his head. "Pandreo, my man…you know we can't meet the parents without proper planning."
Jokes aside, Alear knew that he would be one of the people who ended up making the final call. Timerra looks to the Divine Dragon with a deadpan expression.
"As I said. I don't trust the mom from Panette's description."
Right, if Timerra had the final say, she would send them away and this conversation wouldn't be brought up again. Alear was all for giving people second chances. It worked with Mauvier. It worked with Rafal. Surely, it can happen again with proper communication.
"I'll talk to Pandreo about this. I'll make my decision based on what he wants," Alear answers. "Is that okay with you Panette?"
"I said my piece," Panette answers. "I just hope my brother understands why I will be against it when he ends up giving them another chance."
She didn't say if. She said when. It was pointless to ask, but Alear needed to make sure. It wouldn't be right to just assume.
No matter how much Pandreo tried to convince himself that he was okay, he was far from it. Panette responded in kind to seeing her parents again. He desperately tried to keep it together and was only barely successful. He needed to be alone so he could drop the facade that he was handling the information well.
The priest wishes he could lash out at his parents for everything they have done to him. They attacked him, neglected him, made him feel less than human and then abandoned him when all was said and done. He still wanted to give them a second chance seeing as how they approached them.
It was too surreal though. His normally loud father was behind his wife, quiet and reserved as if he learned how to control his temper after years of letting loose. His mother did not look like an evil witch. Maybe the years truly changed them when their mother approached them, asked them how they were doing and pleaded to give them another chance. Panette just wasn't having it and stormed off before Pandreo could say anything. He apologized to his parents, and they were understanding of their daughter's anger. They praised her in ways he has never heard them say before. He wishes he could have that same praise, but going after his sister was more important. They went back to the Somniel where their parents couldn't reach them.
But of course, before Pandreo went after his little sister, his mother requested a meeting with the Divine Dragon. Nothing good will come out of their mother meeting Alear. She deserved nothing after spouting false words to the few people who went to her church.
Instead of giving her the middle finger, he just gave her an ambiguous nod. He hates more than anything how he froze in her presence and how he mentally crumbled in her presence. Panette must have known that.
He's glad no one followed after him. Pandreo tries his best to keep his breathing steady. Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…
"Are you okay Pandreo?"
He's not alone. He thought Marianne would appear to comfort him. Instead, it's Micaiah that appears before him. The emblems can come and go anywhere in the Somniel, so it's not a surprise that she decided to check up on him.
"I'm not," Pandreo admits. "I…I ran into my parents again…for the first time in years."
Micaiah nods her head in an understanding gesture. She is willing to listen to him vent. He looks at her hoping that he doesn't look like a pathetic mess. There's no mirror in the room he has in the Somniel for a reason.
"Seeing them again…was the last thing I expected. I believed they were still alive and I told Panette many times that they were searching for her…but a part of me knew deep down that they were either dead or starting a new life without us. To see them show up in Solm as if they didn't run away and ask to start over just…"
"I know. I heard from Panette," Micaiah interrupts. "She is just as distressed as you."
"But she always hated our parents…" Pandreo mumbles. "I can't even hate them correctly. A part of me wants that impossible dream of starting over. But…I can't do that. Not now. We're still in the middle of a war. We need to focus on Sombron…but…but…"
His mind is no longer thinking about the great evil that is tearing a hole in the sky. He is thinking about catching up with his parents. He wants to know what they have been doing. He wants to know if they are proud of them for being able to obtain high ranking positions within Solm's kingdom.
Pandreo wishes for his mother to acknowledge him for who he is. Her words were cautious when addressing him. In the past, she never acknowledged his transition. By staying gender neutral, it made it seem like she didn't know how to talk to him without scaring him away.
Or maybe she's trying to stop herself from insulting me. Pandreo thinks darkly to himself.
"It's okay to think about your parents," Micaiah reassures him. "You are still their child. It's only natural that a parent realizes the mistakes they made and try to correct it."
Pandreo wants to believe that. He honestly does, but he feels like something was completely off with his parents. He can't describe it. He just knows that his brain is screaming not to trust them despite their words and the change in demeanor. Maybe, if they see the Divine Dragon, they can prove how genuine they are. Maybe, he's just paranoid that he'll be hurt again. The scars of the past aren't easily erased.
"I just wish I was less forgiving," Pandreo admits. He laughs bitterly to himself. "I have decided that I would get my hands dirty if it meant protecting the Divine Dragon, but even if our enemies deserve to be struck down, I cannot have that same feeling with my parents…my mother especially."
Most of his life, he has been in his mother's shadow. She was the one that controlled every part of his life from what he dressed like to how he talked, to what type of magic he should be using. It suffocated him and Panette running away made everything worse for him. She wanted him to be her perfect child. She needed him to be. She wanted to prove something to someone who had wronged her in the past…
"Mother…has committed so many sins…and I fear that I have inherited them…" Pandreo laments. He reaches for a piece of his hair and scowls. "I look too much like her."
"But you're not her. You are a very kind and caring soul."
"Am I really? I give, and I give, and I give, but it's never enough. I still fail people when it matters the most."
That's right. He's a flawed priest. He took to being a party priest to stand out and be different from his mother. He believed he was going against her wishes by taking what she started and turning it into her antithesis. People came. People stayed. People partied with him. People prayed with him. But they weren't the same people that his mother attracted to the church. They didn't know Pandreo's dark past. If they did, they would shun him and turn him away. If the other priests found out, they would find a way to cast him aside.
Emblem Micaiah frowns. She was usually able to talk Pandreo out of his funk. This was completely different. "Pandreo…"
"Sorry. I know you're trying to cheer me up, but I'm being a downer. You're better off returning to my sister's side. She needs people to comfort her."
"Your sadness is as important as your sister's anger," Micaiah argues. "You cannot keep boiling up these insecurities."
He knows that better than anyone. He preaches it more than anyone here, but when it comes down to it…he cannot practice what he preaches. It's pathetic.
"You need to talk to Alear," The Dawn Priestess continues. "Maybe my words cannot reach you, but speaking to the Divine One should calm your soul and put you back on the correct path."
Talking to Alear probably would make things better. He still showed an ugly side to him when he returned to the Somniel. Would Alear still talk to him after seeing that?
Pandreo knows the answer. Alear would be happy to talk to him about his problems. As the dragon who saved him in the past, he owes Alear that much. What would be the point of praying to him all of these years just to not speak to him in person?
Pandreo won't have to worry about confronting Alear. Alear came to him instead. His heart flutters hearing the knock on the door followed by the Divine Dragon's voice. Emblem Micaiah took her leave once she noticed Alear's presence.
"Pandreo, may I come in?"
"O-Of course Divine One…" Pandreo mumbles. "L-Let me just…"
He's still feeling woozy. He forgot to lock his door though, so Alear lets himself in. His divine presence is enough to sweep him off his feet…literally.
"Pandreo, are you okay?!" Alear questions. "You really don't look good…"
"Yeah…I know…that's why I put myself on lockdown…" Pandreo laughs bitterly to himself. He tries not to sour the mood but it's impossible.
"Sorry. I know you're taking this worse than Panette. I'm sorry that I didn't check up on you sooner."
He's thrilled Alear is worried about him but disappointed in himself for having the Divine Dragon worried for him.
"You don't need to apologize, Divine One. My problems are my own."
"They don't have to be. That's why I'm here to ask for your opinion."
Pandreo questions if he heard his deity correctly. "What?"
"What do you want to do with your parents?"
It was like Pandreo was hit with a freeze spell. The last thing he expects is for Alear to bring up the people who are stressing him out.
"Huh."
"I am willing to allow them on the Somniel on the one condition that I have your approval."
"Really?!"
Alear's mercy has no limit. Pandreo knows this, but now he feels like he's just taking advantage of the kind dragon before him.
"Panette voiced her disapproval, but the decision to see them lies at your feet. I am willing to evaluate them and determine if their words are genuine."
Alear doesn't have the power to see through the lies of others. What he does know is being able to make a good judgment. Granted, the army as a whole questioned his willingness to forgive Rafal and allow him to return with Nel, but the fell dragon hadn't committed any crime upon arrival, so Alear was correct that he stayed true to his words.
"I should be like Panette and say no to them…" Pandreo mumbles. "But…I feel powerless. I feel like I need to give them another chance…even if I know rekindling with them is hopeless."
"I don't believe it's hopeless."
"...You don't know my mother…"
Again, Alear notes that the issue is with the mother. Timerra, Fogado and Panette all believe that she's not to be trusted. The father is a big question mark in comparison.
"She sounded so…real when we reunited. But, she has always had a way with her words. I fear I'm setting myself up if she comes onto the Somniel."
"It won't be just me. The emblems will also be able to evaluate her character. They won't even need to make themselves known," Alear reassures the priest. "I just need you to tell them that it's okay and for them to accept the time I am available."
This shouldn't be hard. If they're faking any sort of redemption, Pandreo can order them to leave and he'll never have to think about it again. The sooner he drills into his head that his parents will never change, the easier he can get over his looming anxiety.
"Would tonight be good?" Pandreo requests. "They're still in Solm. It shouldn't be long to track them down."
Alear was ready to agree with tonight. However, their plans would have to wait.
"Divine One, I apologize for the intrusion, but Emblem Tiki wishes to say something to you."
Alear is surprised that his elderly retainer opened the door without the priest's permission. He didn't know that Pandreo told Vander it was okay if he got interrupted. Whatever was happening in Elyos took priority over whatever he needed. His woes were nothing, especially when he knows exactly what Tiki wants.
"I have picked up the traces of another emblem!" Tiki declares. "We'll have more friends to play with!"
Alear cannot deny the young dragon. She always lit up with excitement when she picked up traces of bracelets from the alternate Elyos. She was also able to find emblems that were not listed in history. Every emblem would be crucial in the battle against Sombron. If everyone in the army had an emblem, their survivability would increase. Alear learned his lesson the hard way with Emblem Marianne. He cannot keep his eyes over the entire battlefield. Up until her trial, he was fortunate that no one suffered any serious injuries and remained cautious enough to escape unscathed. Emblems were great at dealing with other humans and low-level Corrupted. Against high ranking generals like the Four Hounds though? It was difficult. Sombron will show no mercy to them.
It hurts to leave Pandreo like this. He'll be exhausted by the time they finish this trial, so he'll have to talk about the invitation another time.
"Sorry Pandreo."
"No, it's okay Divine One. Do what you need to do. Tiki, make sure the Divine One is not harmed in the next trial."
"You betcha!"
Pandreo knows they are near the end. There were only a few more bracelets left, so Alear made it his goal to get them as soon as possible. But it was just back to back emblem trials after another.
Alear knows everyone is drained. From challenging these emblems to trying to save a dying world, they knew they were losing time. Every second they didn't go into the void to chase after Sombron meant abnormalities that continued to plague Elyos. Once they beat him, the hole will close up and they can finally start rebuilding. That's why Alear tries to avoid the royal family from participating in these trials even if they would make things easier overall. Recently, Alear threw that out the window concerning Alcryst. Whatever happened after that Marianne trial pulled them closer together.
"We will talk about this later," Alear says as he turns to leave. "Pandreo, please rest for today. You need it."
That was the easiest way of telling him that he's not going to be allowed to help with this trial. It's for the best. He would slow them down, and he doubts Micaiah will be pleased with him pushing himself. The priest only nods as Alear leaves his room to go gather other people to help him obtain the next emblem. Emblem Tiki floats after the Divine Dragon. Vander waits outside the door.
"Pandreo, whatever it is that is causing you stress, please, take the Divine Dragon's suggestion. You looked like you haven't slept in days."
Maybe he hasn't. There were too many events that have happened that caused him to lose sleep. Pretending isn't going to work forever.
"Don't worry. I don't intend to go anywhere tonight," Pandreo answers with a weak smile. "Please, help the Divine One on his quest. I pray for a safe trip."
Vander nods his head slowly and closes the door when he leaves, leaving the priest alone with his dark thoughts. Pandreo lets out a long sigh before he returns to his bed. Making plans for his family reunion can wait. He needs to sleep. Now.
Notes:
Notes!
1. I couldn't stop myself from doing a small crossover. It's either Queen's Blade or Disgaea and I pick the latter due to the context of the story. Valvatorez is a cool protagonist, but I guess with time, I started to realize that he's judgemental to humanity to the point it comes off as racist. It's important for later. This is post Disgaea 4.
2. The opening line is the opening scene from Disgaea 4. I took out the line about the current era because Fire Emblem Engage is not the 21st century. And Disgaea is known for breaking the 4th wall.
3. Yes, humanity has it very rough in the Disgaea universe. You can do something as small as stealing candy at one point in your life and end up in hell atoning for 100s of years for a petty crime that demons do all the time. As much as I hate Fuka, it was unfair that she got sent to hell because her birthday wish at the age of five was to "conquer the world". Most Fire Emblem characters ain't seeing heaven with how fucked up Disgaea is (LOL).
LapisAlatus on Chapter 1 Thu 29 Jun 2023 04:01PM UTC
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GintaxAlvissforever on Chapter 1 Thu 29 Jun 2023 10:22PM UTC
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LapisAlatus on Chapter 2 Mon 07 Aug 2023 05:30AM UTC
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GintaxAlvissforever on Chapter 2 Mon 07 Aug 2023 07:19AM UTC
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