Chapter Text
Kai
The soft patter of raindrops hitting the ground and tapping on leaves beckons Kai to open his eyes. Bright rays of light filtering through the canopy of trees, have him to regretting this decision with a wince. He squints through the pain to look around, fighting through his grogginess.
When Kai is able to keep his eyes open against the harsh light, he finds himself in the middle of a forest, lying on top of an old horse blanket. He studies the sky for a moment through the forest canopy, but is unable to discern where he is, or which direction he is facing. The sun has either just rose or is close to setting, and he is unable to determine which.
He is drenched from the rain, but the summer heat makes it feel refreshing rather than a burden.
Sitting up slowly, Kai coughs and swallows against his dry throat. He is incredibly thirsty and hungry. His clothes have been changed, he’s been given his best khaki pants, his newest white cotton shirt, and a leather jacket. The jacket is unfamiliar, and the only scent on it is that of the mink oil used to keep the leather moist and protected. It feels worn against his fingers, and he wonders who it belonged to before it was given to him.
The jacket only distracts him for so long before his thirst and anger return. Kai wants to scream for being left in the middle of nowhere with only a horse blanket, the clothes on his back, and a small canvas pack. He grabs the pack harshly, clenching his aching teeth, but finds it well-organized. There are several sandwiches filled with meats and cheese, dried fruit and fish, and a small batch of his favorite caramels. He pulls out a leather bladder full of water and drinks it greedily to quench his thirst. It's almost gone by the time he feels satisfied.
He scarfs down one sandwich along with half the dried fruit and fish. He decides to save the caramels, fearing the taste will only give him memories he is not ready to face in his current state.
When the sky starts to darken, Kai realizes that it is almost evening and night will be here soon. It won't be safe for him to wander around the forest in the dark, since he has no way to make a torch. The ground is too wet, and all the wood in sight is as well. Kai sinks down into his jacket and draws his knees to his chest. He is overwhelmed, and for a moment, he rocks back and forth to steady his breathing.
How could they do this to him? Why would they do this?
Kai shivers and an anxious feeling settles deep into his gut. What is he going to do now?
There is a headache starting to make itself known between his eyes. Deciding it's best to lie down, Kai does so using the pack to rest his head. It takes a while before he is able to close his eyes in his misery. When Kai finally does, he is startled awake by a low and steady growl.
Jumping to his feet, Kai finds himself face to face with a filthy-looking man covered in hide and wearing a long coat. The man's dirty brown hair is rolled into dreads that reach below his shoulders. There are patches of gray in his beard and hair, and hard wrinkles across his forehead. The man's thick brows are knitted together as he snarls, and long fangs protrude below his bottom lip. He remains crouched, emitting a rumbling growl, less than six feet from Kai.
Kai squares his shoulders and growls in response. The man's scent is foul, with a strong pungent musk. Kai has never smelled anything like it, except maybe a dead skunk.
"You're trespassing," the man says with a rasp. "This is my land.”
He doesn't know how to respond. The man is clearly much bigger and more experienced. His claws are long, as he extends his fingers out to form talons, ready to strike.
When he takes a half step back, the man pounces. Kai is quick and he feints to the side, but the man is even quicker. He twists in mid-air to drive his talons deep into Kai's back, straight through his leather jacket and shirt. Kai yells out as he falls, the pain piercing deep when the man's weight drives him down. The man is breathing heavily in his ear, and there is a steady rumble in his chest that pulsates through Kai's back.
"Don't you know better, boy? Never run from an alpha.”
—
It was the middle of June when Kai felt a shift. It was as if the air and everything around him was full of nostalgia, a bittersweet memory of a way of life Kai had come to know and love. But something had changed ever since he turned nineteen last December. He couldn't quite put his finger on what, but when he looked at his pack, he saw a rift forming.
They seem wary around him, especially his pack mothers. They look at him as if he was something dangerous. He doesn't understand it, and over time, it has only become more and more clear.
He was different from them.
It was early, and the sun had yet to come up. Kai laid awake, listening to his pack father, Rowan, and his pack brother, Silas, as they were getting ready to go out and wake the farm and tend the fields. Usually, Kai would be joining them, but not anymore. The thought brought a tightness to his throat and unwanted tears to his eyes.
Many things had changed with his pack, but this was the worst. When Kai asked Rowan why, his pack father told him he wasn't needed, and that Silas was more than capable of helping him. Kai bristled at that, Silas was of Rowan’s blood unlike him, and the farm would become his brother’s. Kai had always known that, but it didn't make it sting any less.
He heard the back door close, and with a heavy sigh, he pulled himself from his quilted covers. Kai still had other chores he could do, such as helping his pack mothers keep a tidy house and preparing meals for the pack. But, he would rather be out riding, tending to the cattle and sheep, or plowing the fields with Lore, their big ox.
The morning air held a slight chill, so Kai donned his favorite sweater over his standard cotton shirt and jeans. He walked barefoot to the kitchen, stopping at the sink to watch Rowan and Silas feed the horses out in the pasture. His chest grumbled, gnashing his teeth at the sight of them.
He spent his morning making fresh sourdough bread, and was now sitting in front of the wood stove while he observed the loaf rising through the small iron gate. Kai bathed in the delightful smell as it baked, letting the oven flames pour the warm air over him.
That was how his birth mother found him. Kai heard and smelled her coming down the hall before she even entered the kitchen. Her heat had only just passed, and her scent was still strong and sweet. He had not been allowed near her for the last week. That was also a change for him, never had he been banned from his mother during her heat.
Her scent, a sweet lemon, cut through the smell of baking bread as she walked in. His birth mother had the most pleasant scent of all his parents, for she was an omega, the only one in his family pack.
"Good morning, Mother," Kai greeted her from his place on the floor. She stopped when he did, to take him in. The pained expression that filled her face had Kai scrambling to his feet.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he quickly said as he approached her.
Kaitlyn gave him a half-hearted smile. "I'm just not used to you being here in the morning.”
Her words caused Kai to release an uncontrolled growl. "Well, I wouldn't be here if Rowan hadn't decided I wasn't needed, that I wasn't son enough to work the fields.”
There was a sharp bitterness to his words that made his mother narrow her eyes at him. "You are Rowan's son just as much as Silas is, even if you do not share blood. He is just preparing Silas for when you are no longer here.”
"For when I'm no longer here? I don't understand..." Kai was bewildered, his mind starting and stopping as he attempted to understand his mother's meaning.
Kaitlyn remained silent, allowing her words to fully sink in. Kai studied her, searching for his own words. "You want me to leave? Why? What has changed?"
Kaitlyn folded her arms in front of her chest and closed herself off from him. She shifted away to peer out of the large window above their kitchen sink at the farm beyond.
"You've changed," she replied in a harsh whisper that grated on Kai's senses. "There is nothing to be done. You are an alpha, and you cannot stay with this family pack any longer.”
"We can't keep you from presenting. It will harm you. We've been selfish to keep you here for as long as we have. Most alphas present at fifteen.”
Kaitlyn raised her hand to stifle a choke of loss. Kai could taste her tears and distress, causing him to whine deeply as he sought to be closer to her. He stood before her while she wept into her hand. He was so much taller than her now, almost a foot above her small frame. Yet, he stood at a similar height to Rowan, his growth was affected by the suppressants his parents had given him up until recently. Making him short for an alpha.
He took hold of his birth mother's shoulders and pulled her towards him. She hesitated for a moment before returning his embrace. "I wish your birth father were here," she admitted quietly into his chest. "It would have been different. He would have been able to prepare you for what is to come.”
"Ivan was a great alpha, a kind one. And you are so much like him," Kaitlyn reminisced, reaching for Kai's face. Her unique eyes, a mix of blue and yellow, scanned over his features, memorizing them. Her hands gripped him with a longing to keep him forever.
"Please, Mother, don't make me go," Kai pleaded, placing his hands over hers. "You always said the outside world was dangerous, especially for alphas.”
Kaitlyn grimaced, a growl rumbling low in her chest. "It is my sweet boy. It took your birth father from me. It takes everything, even you."
Her nails lengthened and dug into his skin. She drew his face closer to hers. He gripped her wrists in response until he was forced to kneel before her.
"You will listen carefully to my words, Kai. When you leave, you are never to come back here," Kaitlyn warned with a deadly edge to her voice, deep and powerful. "If you do, you risk destroying this pack.”
"Now, be gone with you, finish your chores, and from now on, you will eat in your room," she said as she let him go and retreated. His heart ached when Kaitlyn turned her back, cutting him off, just like when Rowan and Silas did the same.
Kai had never hated what he was until that moment.
“The loaf has thirty minutes left, I need air.” Kai told his mother, but she did not say anything in return. The tightness in his throat returning as he walked to his room. He pulled on his leather boots, laced them tightly while his vision blurred with tears.
He left through the front door to avoid his mother. The sun was peeking over the horizon, leaving long shadows that stretched in the morning light. The dew on the grass made the leather of his boots darker as he ran from his home to the western fields. Rowan and Silas would be taking the cattle to the eastern pastures, far away from him.
The sun had fully risen when he reached the deep ravine where the silver river flowed. The wind was strong, tempting him closer to the edge, but he did not move an inch. He stood there for hours until he grew tired, finding a nearby boulder to rest on. He stretched his body out in the sun, watching the sky change colors and clouds rush by overhead.
Kai let his mind drift with the clouds, his tears drying, but his heart was still heavy and aching. There was no sense of time, and when Kai blinked, he noticed that the sun was once again close to the horizon, the sky bruised in its descent.
Kai jolted fiercely when someone yelled out his name. He sat up to survey the field behind him and saw that it was his half-sister, Keira.
Keira and Kai share the same birth mother. Keira, who turned fourteen this past spring, took after her birth father, Rowan. She had his golden-brown eyes and hair, which she wore long, reaching to her elbows. Her hair was always windblown and tangled. Like all of Rowan's children, Keira was also a beta.
Behind her followed Kiki, his youngest half-sister. She was practically Keira's twin and will be ten in August. He remembered so vividly when she came into this world; it was the hottest day of that year, and it still haunted him because that was the day he nearly lost both his mother and Kiki. His birth mother had never fully recovered, and Kiki would be her last child.
Kiki was by far his favorite person and he loved the way she viewed the world through her curious eyes. No one could brighten his day quite like her.
Out of all his siblings, Kai was the only one who shared a physical trait with their birth mother. He had Kaitlyn's mismatched eyes, with his right eye being a vibrant blue and his left eye a mix of blue and golden-yellow, split diagonally down the middle by the contrasting colors. This unique trait made him feel special, and his pack mothers had always fawned over his eyes when he was younger, telling Kaitlyn that he was going to break someone's heart one day.
That was all he shared with Kaitlyn. The rest he got from his father, including his wavy black hair that was left untamed to fall into his eyes, and his attractive and classic face. Kaitlyn let slip one time that he had Ivan's sense of humor and wit. He preened at the comparison; it made him feel closer to the man he never got to know.
"Kai! Where have you been all day? I had to do your chores!" Keira called out to him from across the field, with Kiki twirling and skipping not far behind. "Mother told me you were suppose to be in your room for dinner.”
At the mention of their birth mother, Kai turned back around, folded his arms over his chest, and gnashed his teeth with a growl. He yelled into the ravine, "I'll come when I'm ready.”
He crossed his legs and ignored Keira as she rushed up behind him. When she grabbed his arm to pull him from the boulder, he yanked it from her hold.
"You'll never be ready. You're upset, and you have every right to be," Keira told him with a huff.
“What do you know?”
Keira grew anxious at his question, shifting nervously in place as she bit her lip. "I heard Fern and Larissa talking. They said you'd present soon and there wasn't time to coddle you. They were upset at Mother for waiting to send you away.”
“Mother told me this morning that I am to leave the pack. She didn’t say when.” Kai confirmed while he noticed his sister’s lip tremble.
Keira grabbed his arm again, holding it tightly. “I’m sorry, Kai. This is so unfair.”
"Let me go, Keira!" Kai exclaimed, twisting from her hold to jump off the boulder, his words filled with violent frustration.
Keira dropped her arm immediately and took several steps back. It was at that moment Kiki came running up to them, only to be stopped by Keira.
Kiki whined as her sister firmly held her shoulders. Kai studied both of his half-sisters, sensing their weariness towards him. It made him sick to his stomach.
"Why did you come if you are afraid of me?" Kai shouted at both of them. He was flushed with anger, an anger he had never felt before. It caused his teeth to ache.
Keira lowered her gaze and shied away from him, submissive in her stance. "You know why," she said in the smallest of voices.
Kiki bit her lower lip, her eyes wide and uncertain. "You smell funny.”
Kai was startled by this, does he? No wonder his pack family shunned him. They no longer recognize his scent. He must smell foul to them.
"Please just go. I promise I'll be home before sundown. You can let Mother know I'm not hungry," Kai quietly told them. His shoulders slumped, hands hanging heavily and open.
Keira whimpered, "I'm so sorry, Kai. Please don't be angry with me.”
Kai could hear the sorrow in her words and taste her tears on his tongue. His own tears threatened to fall, so he turned away from his half-sisters before they could do the same to him. "I'm not angry with you.”
And he was not. He was angry at his birth mother and his pack father, Rowan. He was angry at himself for being different, for being an alpha.
Kiki reached to grab his sweater. "I'm sorry too.”
Her words nearly broke him. He picked her up and hugged her fiercely. Kai could hear her holding her breath against his scent, but she didn't struggle while hugging him back. There was nothing he could say while holding her. He quickly let her go and walked away along the ravine and the silver river, thankful that Keira and Kiki did not try to stop him.
He returned home just as the sun disappeared into the night. The house was dark, even with the few lanterns left lit. He went through the back door to avoid disturbing anyone and made a plan to go straight to his room, maybe grabbing some food from the kitchen on his way.
His plan failed the moment he set foot in the kitchen and found his parents waiting for him.
His pack mothers, Fern and Larissa, hung back to block the other entrance to the kitchen, while his birth mother and pack father waited patiently at the table. Rowan motioned for Kai to take a seat opposite them. Kai's stomach fluttered, but he did as he was told. The wooden chair scraped loudly across the floor in the deafening silence and heavy atmosphere. The seat creaked when he sat, waiting for them to tell him that it was time, that he must go.
Kai kept his eyes lowered to his folded hands on the table, unable to look at his parents. He heard Rowan cough and nervously shift his weight. "Kai, you know why we're here. Your mother told you earlier what's expected," he said.
"Look at us, Kai," Kaitlyn commanded. He wanted to curse her and tell her no, yet he raised the eyes she gave him to meet hers.
"When will I be leaving?" Kai was surprised by how calm he sounded, even though his pulse was pounding and his eyes were burning with unshed tears.
Kaitlyn glanced at Rowan with a furrowed brow. Kai got the sense that they didn't agree on when he should leave, but since Rowan was the pack leader, it was his choice.
Kai shifted his gaze to Rowan, his eyes blurred with his pack father's decision. "You will be leaving tonight.”
He buried his head in his arms and tried so hard to hold onto himself as his world was ripped from him. There was no way to escape the hole that consumed his heart.
His parents do nothing to comfort him, and he is too distressed to scent the air. They let him be, though they do not leave the room. Only when Kai had managed to settle himself in hopeless resignation, slumping back into his chair, do they continue.
Rowan moved a folded napkin towards himself, and Kai watched as he folded back the top layer, revealing a syringe. They intended to sedate him.
Kai said nothing, his face flushed and wet from tears. He stared at the syringe with hatred souring his mouth. "We will be giving you this shot, it will knock you out. When you wake up, you will be far from here," Rowan stated calmly. "We have packed you some food and clothes and given you what money we have, though we do not know if it is worth much.”
Kai was finding it hard to breathe, taking a shuddering inhale. "Do I get to say goodbye?”
Rowan clenched his jaw at his question. Kaitlyn placed a hand on her mate's shoulder and shook her head at Kai. There were tears in her own eyes. "No, my sweet boy, we cannot risk it. We've waited too long as it is.”
"We had intended to put a sedative in your dinner, but you did not show," Kaitlyn said with a shaky voice. "You have made this harder on yourself and this pack.”
Kai rose from his seat at his mother's accusation, and his chair flipped backward. His anger flared, along with the ache in his teeth. "I made this harder!"
"It was you who kept me in the dark—you who pretended that I wasn't what I am," Kai was a mess of emotions as he called out his mother. "Why did you not tell me sooner? Why did you not prepare me for this moment?”
Kai growled deeply, his body vibrating with anger. "It is you who have made this harder for me," he said, his words echoing loudly in the room. Kaitlyn and his pack mothers cowered in fear. Rowan quickly stood and growled back in defense, but as a beta, he was nowhere near as formidable as Kai.
"You will not speak to your mother in that manner," Rowan snapped, pounding his fist on the table. "Sit down and calm yourself.”
Kai growled once more, grabbing the syringe off the table before his parents could react. He jabbed it harshly into his thigh and pushed down the plunger. The painful burn of the sedative crawled down his leg, working quickly with his frantic heart. Kai's head spun and his body grew heavy; he found himself unable to stand. Rowan was there when he fell. For a brief moment, he tried to fight the darkness at the edge of his vision but found it to be an impossible task.
His eyes closed on their own accord. Kai could still hear his parents around him, though he was unable to understand them. A hand rested on his forehead before moving to brush the hair from his face. Soft fingers began to trace his scalp, combing through his hair. The motion calmed him, allowing the sedative to pull him under completely.