Chapter Text
Hyun Soo jerked awake to find a hand wrapped around his mouth, cutting off his breath.
"Your umma was going to die instead of you," Jae Ho said as one of his guys dragged Hyun Soo out of bed.
Another guy stood waiting by the door, his back to them, looking down the corridor and smoking silently.
"But it's smarter to kill you." He gestured at Hyun Soo. "So here we are."
Hyun Soo trashed against the guy holding him, once, before Jae Ho's expression stopped him. "Leave my umma alone," he snarled.
"She's fine," Jae Ho said. "And she'll continue to be fine. It would be a waste, no? And unfair to the kidney donor." He lighted a cigarette and took a drag. "You should worry about yourself."
Easier said than done. All he could think about was how he'd put his mother in danger. He couldn't be sure Jae Ho wouldn't hurt her. This moment, in the dark cell, wreathed in smoke, felt like both deja vu and nightmare, something that had already happened, something that was always going to happen, but with a cruel twist. He'd thought he could handle being caught, that he'd taken into consideration all the possible consequences, but he hadn't anticipated this.
He forced himself to relax. He wasn't dead yet, and that had to mean something. He would make sure Jae Ho didn't hurt his mother.
Jae Ho sent the guy holding Hyun Soo to wait outside the cell. Hyun Soo wondered how much they knew. Jae Ho clearly knew he was a cop, but maybe his people didn't. Maybe he still had a chance.
They looked at each other in silence.
Jae Ho sucked in his cheeks as he watched Hyun Soo, and explained how they got here. He laughed as he told him about his plan—killing his mother to ensure his loyalty. It didn't make sense, although Jae Ho seemed to think it did.
"You think that would have worked?" Hyun Soo scoffed.
Jae Ho grinned.
It was the first time his grin made Hyun Soo want to smash his face in. "Why go to all that trouble?"
"You could've been useful."
They were here talking, and nobody was dead, so Hyun Soo decided to take a gamble. "You wanted my loyalty," he said, then paused, watched Jae Ho lean forward, and added, "You can have it."
Jae Ho went still.
"Wanted me to be yours. You can have that, too. Me. You can have me."
"I'm not in the habit of surrounding myself with people I can't trust."
Hyun Soo decided to give that obvious lie the answer it deserved. "Do you trust your boss?"
Jae Ho raised his eyebrows. "Let me guess? You'll help me with that."
"I can still be useful."
"What do you want in return?"
There was no more mention of killing him. "My umma's safety."
Jae Ho's smile turned wry. "Easy," he said, like he hadn't just threatened her life. "Already done." They didn't talk terms, but they both knew: his mother would be fine as long as he behaved.
Chief Chun called to tell him his mother had been discharged. She still needed to return to the hospital for blood work and other tests, but things looked good. She would make a full recovery.
"That's great, that's good," he said, barely choking the words out. He wanted to ask her to get someone to watch his mother. She would ask why, and he could even tell her the truth. For all that she wanted to catch Go Byung Chul more than anything, he knew Chief Chun would take him out of there if he told her what happened. He couldn't risk it. Jae Ho only needed a moment to hurt his mother. Hyun Soo knew what Chief Chun would tell herself, that she wanted to protect his mother, but that she couldn't. That there was only so much she could do. He knew as well as anyone that there weren't enough people, that his mother's protection wouldn't be a priority, and that all kinds of things could happen when someone turned their head the other way.
"How are things at your end?" Chief Chun asked.
Well, Han Jae Ho found out I'm a cop and threatened my umma, except he didn't so much threaten as admit he would have killed her to get me to work with him. He changed his mind, though, so no need to worry. Only now the undercover operation is pretty much done, unless you count me lying to you at this very moment. Undercover with the cops.
"I don't know. He's cooled down a bit," he said. It was a good idea to keep to the truth as much as possible. Although it was unlikely, it wasn't impossible she had other people reporting to her. He told the truth: Jae Ho was avoiding him.
"Do you have any idea why?"
He wanted to laugh, or start screaming, he couldn't decide. Yes, you could say he had some idea why. "I'm not sure."
"Well, try to get back in his favour."
Not bad advice. Now that Jae Ho had stopped seeking him out, it was even more obvious how much time they used to spend together, most of it at Jae Ho's prompting, too. Hyun Soo had started it, but Jae Ho had quickly followed that up with more bids for attention, asking Hyun Soo to come look at this, come over, come check this out. Jae Ho was always asking him what he was doing and wanting to do something together. It was easy to let himself be coaxed into playing silly games with easy stakes, easy to forget about the larger stakes when Jae Ho grinned at him and told him "well done". Not something he could forget about now.
Chief Chun was right, he had to get back in his good graces. He couldn't afford to let him forget their agreement, get bored, and start thinking that Hyun Soo was more trouble than he was worth.
He turned around, leaving behind the phone and his only connection with his old life, and caught sight of Jae Ho in the other yard. He recognised him by the way he walked, bent slightly forward, like wherever he was going, he needed to arrive faster than his legs could carry him. Hyun Soo watched him move closer, crossing the yard. He didn't look at Hyun Soo as he went past him.
They still shared the same cell, so it wasn't like they never saw each other. It was just that Jae Ho treated him like he was even less interesting than the prison furniture.
That night, alone with Jae Ho in his cell, Hyun Soo got up from where he was sitting and turned towards him. "I can move back to my old cell," he offered.
Jae Ho was lying in bed, one arm under his head, the other playing with a baseball. "No," he said.
"Why not?" Hyun Soo leaned forward. "It's clear you don't want me here."
"It would look suspicious and I don't want to give the Security Chief any ideas."
"Is that all?"
Jae Ho tilted his head in his direction. "What more do you want?" Hyun Soo couldn't be sure—he couldn't see him clearly in the dim light—but he thought he was frowning. "Should I say that I like your company?" Jae Ho continued, sounding amused. "But I would, wouldn't I?" He threw the ball at the ceiling and caught it. "If someone spent two years trying to get close to you, it'd stand to reason you'd like him."
Hyun Soo didn't have anything to say to that. He didn't regret it—not in the way Jae Ho meant—and he didn't think Jae Ho deserved any sort of apology, anyway. He'd deceived him, it was true, but it would be stupid to have any illusions about the kind of man he was. Just because he liked Hyun Soo, it didn't mean he was a good man.
Though the worst thing was that Hyun Soo liked him, too.
"You're pretty good at your job," Jae Ho said. "Too bad your people aren't."
Jae Ho stretched back on the bed, exposing a bit of belly. Hyun Soo almost reached over, wanting to touch, regretting all the times he'd been tempted to touch and hadn't. They'd slept in the same cell, touched shoulders and hands and elbows, but they hadn't fucked. Hyun Soo had thought they were headed that way before things changed. His own thoughts had headed there often enough, at least, but he hadn't done anything about them, telling himself he didn't want to screw up the assignment. The assignment was thoroughly screwed now, though. A lot of things were screwed now.
Before he could change his mind, he put his hand on Jae Ho's abdomen, let it rest there, not moving it, not meeting his eyes. Jae Ho made a sound, a sharp inhale, and his muscles twitched under Hyun Soo's hand. Hyun Soo was suddenly aware of the scrape of the prison uniform over his skin; aware, too, that he was breathing hard, and that Jae Ho's breathing matched his. The moment stretched; Hyun Soo's hand tightened a little on Jae Ho's shirt.
"Oh, you're great at your job." Jae Ho laughed. Hyun Soo could see that he was getting hard, but he turned away, and stood still with his back to Hyun Soo.
"Come on," Hyun Soo said, feeling oddly frustrated. If his colleagues could see him now, they'd be horrified. He let his hand drop by his side. Actually, on second thought, Chief Chun would probably say he was good at his job, too. "I'm bored."
"Really? Tell me a story then." He huffed a laugh. "One that Chief Chun didn't come up with."
"Yah, it matters how you tell it."
Jae Ho turned around then, fast, which was more like him. He always seemed to have a hard time keeping still. Hyun Soo saw him running his fingers over the baseball before he threw it in his direction.
The ball sailed past him, and bounced around before settling against the wall.
"Give that back."
Hyun Soo went to fetch it, and threw it back, but Jae Ho sent it back his way as soon as he caught it.
Hyun Soo snatched it out of the air and kept it in his hand, rubbing his hand over its peeling surface. It was even more battered than it looked. "Didn't you want a story?"
"What? Can't talk and catch a ball at the same time?"
"It's all in the performance, didn't I tell you?"
Jae Ho hummed. "Fine," he said, and sat back on the bed. "Let's hear it then."
Hyun Soo wondered what to tell him—something unrehearsed, he thought; it didn't need to be true, it just needed to sound true. Still, what could it hurt to tell him something real? "We didn't have an electronic lock when I was a kid," he began, "and I used to lose my key all the time. I would forget it at home or leave it at school and I'd always get locked out. I swear I didn't do it on purpose. But really, that's why I got my first undercover assignment."
Jae Ho let out a disbelieving huff of breath.
"No, really. It was getting ridiculous and we didn't have enough money to always replace the key or get another lock. But there was this ahjussi down the street who would unlock it for me." He paused for breath. "That's how I learned to pick locks."
Jae Ho was smiling now, a little toothily, his eyes on Hyun Soo.
"The Golden Crane gang needed someone to break into this old house near the harbour. They didn't exactly advertise it, but it was short notice, and our contact spotted an opportunity to place someone with them.
"Turns out we had a really shitty lock. Anyone could have unlocked it." Hyun Soo's mouth quirked. "I couldn't help them break into the house."
"That probably made them trust you more."
"Too much of an idiot to be a cop?" Hyun Soo shrugged. "Could be."
Jae Ho was laughing. "Was any of that true?"
It was. "Maybe," he said.
Jae Ho had been released before him, so Hyun Soo'd had time, alone in prison, to think things through. There'd been no trace of Jae Ho to confuse him. Even his people had mostly left him alone. Maybe that had been Jae Ho's doing, meant either as a test or a reprieve—leave Hyun Soo alone, see what happens.
He knew what the right thing to do was and he'd dismissed it already. He wasn't going to do the right thing, he was going to do the smart thing, whatever kept his mother safe. It was difficult to know what that was, though, more difficult than knowing what he should do. If he were a good cop, if he meant to do what Chief Chun expected, his actions would've been clear. As it was, he was left floundering.
He couldn't even take his cues from Jae Ho. He didn't know what Jae Ho wanted or expected, and he couldn't be sure that Jae Ho knew, either.
And now he was out, too, being driven away in Jae Ho's ridiculous red car. The time for thinking things through was over and he still hadn't reached any sort of conclusion. He'd take things as they came, he decided, play it by ear. If there was one thing he was good at, it was that.
"I'm going to go see my umma," he told Chief Chun when they talked on the phone.
"Is that a good idea?" she said, her voice more calm than he'd expected. He could tell she wanted to yell at him.
"It'd be weird if I didn't."
When he told Jae Ho the same thing, he only raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a car?" he asked.
"I'll take the bus."
Jae Ho threw him his car keys in response.
He didn't even have a chance to put them in the ignition before Jae Ho joined him, settling in the passenger seat. The convertible had its roof up, so he hadn't seen him coming. "Really?"
Jae Ho nodded.
His mother looked happy to see him. If she was surprised he'd brought a guest, she didn't show it, even though she must know who Jae Ho was.
"Have you eaten?" she asked for the third time, food already on the table—rice and banchan and even some stew. And then, not waiting for an answer, she added, "Maybe some snacks." She got halfway up, looking around. "I don't know what I have."
"No, Umma, this is great," Hyun Soo said. "You didn't have to go to all this bother."
"It's no bother," she said, but she settled back down, hands in her lap.
It felt awkward. He'd missed her so much, worried about not being able to see her, and now he realised that the time apart had turned them into different people. He wanted to blame Jae Ho, but his mother seemed to be getting along with him; they were talking more freely than Hyun Soo could manage, anyway. He swallowed, a lump in his throat. His mother was alive and well and that was all that mattered, and he wanted very much to leave, get Jae Ho out of there, and return to Oceane Import's headquarters with him.
He forced himself to pay attention to the conversation.
"Thank you for taking care of our Hyun Soo," his mother said.
Jae Ho grinned in response and Hyun Soo had to turn away before he started screaming.
When he looked back at his mother, she was smiling at him. He smiled back, and for a moment, everything was easier. She looked so much better than the last time he had seen her—healthier. "I'm done with weekly check-ups," she had told them.
He couldn't regret any of this.
He forgot his earlier eagerness to leave as his mother hugged him goodbye. He wanted to cling, stay like this, make sure they were both safe and sound. But then, she said, over his shoulder, "I hope your sunbae won't keep you so busy that you can't visit." The words weren't really meant for him.
Jae Ho insisted they take the roof down on the way back. Hyun Soo's hair was too short to get in his eyes, but the wind seemed to disagree. It blew in his face, more annoying than it had any right to be, making his eyes smart. He gritted his teeth, something ugly trapped between them. Or maybe something heartfelt. It was hard to tell the difference.
"Your umma cares about you," Jae Ho said, sounding thoughtful.
"How would you know?" Hyun Soo spat out. "What would you know about caring about someone?"
"You should be grateful she's alive." Jae Ho's voice sounded strained, like he was holding back, but Hyun Soo didn't care. Anger pulsed through his body in time with his heartbeat.
"Listen to your sunbae," Jae Ho added, with a laugh.
Hyun Soo couldn't say anything to that. The blood rushing in his ears drowned out the wind and the engine, but not Jae Ho's words. He was left speechless with rage.
"Don't make that face. Your umma knows what you do, doesn't she?"
Some of his words made their way past Hyun Soo's anger. It was true, his mother knew he was a cop, knew who Jae Ho was—what he was. Her calling Jae Ho "his sunbae" wasn't meant earnestly. It was an irony they all shared, together, and while he wasn't sure he wanted to share it with Jae Ho, he couldn't deny that he'd caught on faster than Hyun Soo. He was a bad son, putting his mother in danger, and not even trusting her to understand.
Jae Ho didn't keep him busy. Hyun Soo spent the day at Oceane Import not doing anything, listening to whoever felt like shooting the shit, letting them talk, hoping for some useful information and getting nothing. It was late and he was just about to leave when Jae Ho walked in, swore, and stumbled. He caught himself with a hand on the doorframe. His right eye was swollen shut and covered in crusted blood.
Hyun Soo ran over to him. "What happened? You look terrible."
"You should see the other guy."
"How do you know what he looked like?" Hyun Soo peered at his face, wincing. It looked bad enough that he was worried he could lose the eye. "Can you see anything with that?"
"I'm fine," Jae Ho said, straightening. "Drive me home."
They made their way to the car in silence. Jae Ho didn't seem to have any trouble walking, his earlier stumble an anomaly. He waved away Hyun Soo's help as he sat in the passenger seat.
"So, what happened?"
"Good old-fashioned revenge." Jae Ho tilted his head back. "You shouldn't fuck with the geondal," he added, like he was imparting a lesson.
"Is this about Kim Sung Han?"
"Seems like sunbae's death made some people angry."
Hyun Soo kept his eyes on the road, remembering the smell of burnt flesh. He'd been grateful when Jae Ho had told him to go outside, where he couldn't miss what was happening, but where he didn't have to smell it. He'd helped bring Kim Sung Han there, and he'd turned away, and he hadn't cared much beyond the horror of the moment. Apparently, there were other people who cared. He wondered how many people would care if something happened to Jae Ho. Maybe his friend, Byung Gap, but then again, maybe not. He didn't stop to consider his own feelings on the matter.
His eyes went to Jae Ho in the passenger seat. From this angle, the worst of his bruises were hidden. He looked tired, but unharmed. Hyun Soo's hands tightened on the steering wheel. Anger gripped him like a stranger. He couldn't tell where it was coming from.
When they reached their destination, Jae Ho got out of the car without a word. Caught briefly in the headlights, he was a bloody apparition— injured or not, not someone you'd want to meet in the dark. Hyun Soo's hands hurt. He flexed them carefully, locked the car, and followed Jae Ho up to his apartment.
Once inside, Jae Ho went straight to the sofa, where he lay down, groaning. "It fucking hurts more when I lie down. Shit." He sat up, his face drawn in pain, and then leaned back, clearly uncomfortable.
"Shouldn't you do something about that?" Hyun Soo gestured at his own eye. "Put something on it?"
"Hmm," Jae Ho turned to face him. "No." He looked around his apartment like it was unfamiliar. "I don't think I have anything. And I'm not pouring whisky on my face."
"Is that even strong enough to work as a disinfectant? Whisky?"
Jae Ho looked at him with the only eye he could open. He shrugged.
The silence stretched. Hyun Soo wanted to suggest they go to the hospital. Maybe offer to go buy some first-aid supplies, for all the good they would do. His first-aid training was rusty and he didn't think Jae Ho was any better at it.
"Why are you here?" Jae Ho broke the quiet.
It was a complicated question with an easy answer. Jae Ho had asked him to drive him home. Jae Ho was a bloody mess on the sofa and Hyun Soo didn't want to leave him alone like that. Jae Ho had been his assignment. Hyun Soo didn't know what he was anymore. Eventually, he settled on, "If I cross you, my umma dies."
Jae Ho snorted. "Actually, fetch me that whisky."
Hyun Soo found a bottle of whisky in the kitchen next to a few water glasses. He grabbed the bottle and one of the glasses, and brought them back to Jae Ho, who hadn't moved from his half-sprawl. Sitting down on the coffee table, he poured him a drink. Jae Ho smirked, his good eye creasing as Hyun Soo handed him the glass. He gave it back and took the bottle.
He clinked the bottle to Hyun Soo's glass before drinking.
Hyun Soo set the glass down on the coffee table. "Won't the Chairman take advantage of this to get rid of you?"
"He would, if he was smart."
"And? Is he?"
"Haven't you figured it out by now? He's not stupid."
Hyun Soo was sceptical, but he had to admit that covered a lot of ground. "Maybe he's already helping them get their revenge."
"It's one thing to have me killed in prison," Jae Ho said. "You don't invite the wolves to your house."
"So what should we do? Could we negotiate a truce?"
"We don't really have anything they want."
"Other than you."
"Yes, other than me. Thinking of going undercover with the Honam geondal?"
"I don't think they'd take kindly to someone who betrayed his boss."
"Who knows what they'd take kindly to? I'm not that class of gangster."
"But would you? Take kindly to someone like that?"
"Haven't I?"
Hyun Soo wasn't sure it counted. He'd betrayed Chief Chun, he was betraying her even as he sat here, but he was sure Jae Ho wasn't talking about that. "I thought you didn't surround yourself with people you couldn't trust."
"I don't trust anyone."
Hyun Soo snorted. "Sounds like a good approach to life."
Jae Ho laughed at that. "Ow," he said, still smiling. "That hurt." His swollen eye turned his expression into a grimace. His eyelashes were clumped together with dried blood.
"Maybe you should wash that," Hyun Soo said. "Put some ice on it."
"Maybe I should." Jae Ho grunted as he got up from the sofa. Hyun Soo could hear him in the bathroom, swearing as he splashed water on his face.
Hyun Soo checked the freezer for something he could use to put on his injury. It was empty. "Do you even live here?" he told a returning Jae Ho.
Jae Ho waved a hand, dismissive. His eye looked less ghastly after he'd washed off the blood, but it was still puffed up, red. He probably couldn't see anything with it.
Hyun Soo went to get a towel. The bathroom sink had traces of Jae Ho's blood, a crimson handprint where he'd gripped it and a few drops still clinging to the porcelain. Pink swirled as Hyun Soo wet the towel. He left the sink unwashed and returned to the sitting room. Jae Ho was passed out on the sofa, head thrown back—a bruise was forming around his collar. Hyun Soo stuck the towel in the freezer. That would do for now.
He thought about leaving. Jae Ho's breath hitched a little, then went back to its regular rhythm. Perhaps it would be better to stay; it was late and he was tired.
He went in search of a place to sleep. Inside the bedroom, Jae Ho's bed was unmade. Hyun Soo crawled under the rumpled covers, thinking it was going to be a long night.
He was asleep within minutes.
"How is Han-isa?" Chairman Go asked him when they met the next day, and then he didn't even wait for Hyun Soo to look believably puzzled before he added, "Didn't you leave together yesterday?"
He hadn't intended to lie about it, but he had to wonder why Chairman Go didn't give him a chance to play dumb. He either expected him to lie or it was a way to assert control. Or both, he thought, and had to fight to keep his expression neutral. He must be certain of where Hyun Soo's loyalties lay.
Hyun Soo wished he shared his certainty.
That morning, he'd woken in Jae Ho's bed, disoriented, feeling like he'd forgotten something. He didn't realise the shower had been running until the sound cut off. Jae Ho came into the bedroom then, a towel wrapped around his middle. He still looked bad. Worse, maybe—the bruises on his face had darkened, going from red to purple, and his back was splotchy with more of the same. Someone had stomped on him.
Jae Ho sat down on the bed to put on some clothes. "Did you sleep well?"
Hyun Soo watched as his bruises disappeared under a T-shirt.
"We do have something they want," Jae Ho said, continuing their conversation from last night. "We know they want Gegard's business. And we know Gegard has more business than we can take off his hands." More than Chairman Go would take off his hands, he didn't say.
Chairman Go wouldn't like that, but then he didn't have to know.
Possibly he wasn't giving Chairman Go enough credit, he thought now. "Hyung is all right," he told him, knowing this was the answer he expected, although probably not the answer he wanted.
Three weeks later, Jae Ho arranged a meeting with the people who had kicked his ass. Vitaly Gegard insisted he act as an intermediary.
The meeting was in Seoul. The hotel restaurant in Dongdaemun wasn't neutral ground, but it was a place you wouldn't take out a knife, unless you needed it to cut up the meat you ordered. A brawl was out of the question. The steakhouse had dark wooden panels and an open kitchen, which allowed Hyun Soo to watch one of the cooks mix something over an open fire as they were led to their table. They were the first to arrive.
He didn't know enough about the boundaries of geondal territory in Seoul, but this seemed like a good place to talk. He thought that if the people they were meeting had still wanted to get revenge, they would have chosen another place. They wouldn't have chosen a quiet, upscale hotel surrounded by a tree-lined square. Jae Ho disagreed. "I'm not planning on staying here," he'd said, although they had a room upstairs. They also had one at another hotel, this one in Yeongdeungpo. Probably a good idea, too. It wouldn't hurt to be cautious.
They waited, Jae Ho becoming more and more restless the longer they were there. He was fidgeting with the glass of whisky he'd ordered. "Let's eat," he said, eventually.
The food arrived and still, the people they were waiting for were nowhere to be seen. It was a snub, clearly, but being stood up seemed mild considering who they were dealing with. Hyun Soo let his eye move around the place: some foreigners chatting at another table, a few people who looked like they were discussing business, a couple getting up to leave. Nobody who looked suspicious.
He was taking a bite out of his steak when he heard Jae Ho's chair scraping against the marble floor. He looked up in time to see him push it back, violently. His eyes were glued to the kitchen area, where everything seemed the way it had been as they'd watched their food being prepared, fire and steam and bustle; the cooks were hurrying along, occasionally talking to each other, inaudible. Hyun Soo didn't see anything out of the ordinary before Jae Ho grabbed his arm, and started dragging him away, wordlessly. His grip was iron. Hyun Soo let himself be pulled along because he didn't want to cause a scene, and Jae Ho looked genuinely alarmed.
"Hyung, wait. What's wrong?"
He didn't get an answer.
By the time they reached their room, Jae Ho was breathing hard, like he'd run up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. He didn't let go until he'd dragged Hyun Soo to the bathroom, where he left him in the doorway. Hyun Soo rubbed his arm. "What—"
He stopped talking when he saw Jae Ho kneel by the toilet and shove two fingers down his throat.
He made himself vomit, coughing up half-digested food and liquid, but he didn't stop, doing it again. And again. Only bile came up the fourth time he did it, barely hanging on to the toilet bowl, and he still didn't stop.
"Fuck." Hyun Soo knelt next to him. He grabbed his wrist, pulling it away from his mouth. "Hyung. This is—stop. Hyung, stop."
Jae Ho struggled against his grip, and then he seemed to remember Hyun Soo was there. Their eyes met.
Hyun Soo gasped as Jae Ho got a hand around the nape of his neck, pushing him over the toilet bowl. He gagged at the smell and Jae Ho tried to get a hand down his throat.
Hyun Soo wrenched away from him. "What the—"
Jae Ho punched him in the stomach.
The steak he'd eaten earlier splattered over the bathroom floor. Hyun Soo coughed, trying to get his breath back. His stomach hurt and he was afraid he was going to vomit again.
Jae Ho shuddered once, then lay down on the floor tiles, but Hyun Soo was too angry to pay him any attention. He used a towel to mop the vomit from the floor, breathing through his mouth, then threw it in the tub. The bathroom had a large window with opaque glass. He got it open with more effort than the task required. This high up the noises from outside were just a hum, a background vibration, people going about their lives ignorant of each other.
Jae Ho's eyes were on the ceiling. He didn't blink as Hyun Soo watched him.
For the second time that evening, he knelt down next to him. Jae Ho just lay there, unmoving. He pulled on his arm, trying to get a reaction, stop him lying on the bathroom floor, but nothing he did seemed to help. Eventually, he went and brought him a blanket and a pillow.
It was easier to shove a pillow under his head than try to move him, and after, he sat down next to him, leaning his back against the bathtub. The room smelled of vomit.
Jae Ho's hair was in his eyes, a few sweaty strands going every each way. Hyun Soo pushed them back, and saw Jae Ho's eyelashes moving as he blinked.
He kept his hand in his hair, playing with the strands caught between his fingers, combing it back.
After a while, Jae Ho closed his eyes. "I'm fine," he said. "Go to sleep."
"What about you?" He squeezed his arm. "Come on."
"I'm fine here." His snort turned into a cough. "Look, I have a pillow."
That was true as far as it went, but Hyun Soo had seen him gripping the toilet and retching bile. He couldn't leave him alone.
He didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up curled up with his head on Jae Ho's shoulder. It wasn't a comfortable position, and he thought the same must be true for Jae Ho.
Who wasn't asleep. As soon as he saw that Hyun Soo was awake, he rolled him off and got up, rubbing his shoulder. Hyun Soo watched him move around the bathroom. He took a piss and flushed the toilet.
"Take a shower, you smell bad," he said, and left before Hyun Soo could get up and strangle him.
"Are you all right?" Jae Ho asked.
They were about to leave for the airport. Hyun Soo looked up from where he was putting on his shoes. "You punched me in the stomach."
Jae Ho winced. "I'll make it up to you."
"What was that about?"
"Didn't you see the tattoos on the guy cooking our food?"
Hyun Soo hadn't. He would have been surprised to learn the guy had any tattoos, although he couldn't rule it out. The uniform had covered him up to his neck. "Do you have X-ray vision?" he asked Jae Ho.
"They were peeking from under his collar," Jae Ho said, sounding impatient.
Hyun Soo raised his eyebrow, incredulous. "And you thought he what? Poisoned us? That's ridiculous."
Jae Ho huffed a breath, half a laugh, but it didn't sound amused. He didn't answer.
The flight back was quiet, if Hyun Soo didn't count Jae Ho fiddling with anything that could be fiddled with. They would probably need to fend off a real murder attempt soon, this time from the person seated behind him. Hyun Soo wondered at himself that he didn't find it annoying. He didn't want a subdued Jae Ho, but this restlessness felt strange. It gave Hyun Soo the worrying feeling that something else was wrong—something that he had missed.
As soon as they landed, Jae Ho turned to him, his grin too big for his face. "Let's go drinking," he said.
"Let's eat first."
They did both, eventually. Starting near the beach, at a pojangmacha crowded with tourists, they moved slowly through food and drink and geography. Hyun Soo felt the buzz of alcohol in his fingers, a pleasant tingle that was set to spread through his body. He wasn't quite drunk, but he was getting there, he thought.
"They didn't show up," he said.
Jae Ho nodded. "So much for Gegard's influence."
"Will they send a clearer message, do you think?"
"We'll see how clear it is when we get it."
"So, this isn't over."
Jae Ho snorted. "Of course it isn't."
It was late as they ambled their way to Jae Ho's apartment, Jae Ho walking backwards half of the way there, like he wanted to make sure Hyun Soo was following, always laughing too loud when their eyes met.
Hyun Soo didn't use to think too much about the weather, but the breeze was nice, not too chilly. It ruffled Jae Ho's hair, blowing it in his eyes, and Hyun Soo watched, gauging the direction of the wind by the way the strands blew.
It was warmer inside Jae Ho's apartment than outside.
"There's soju in the fridge," Jae Ho said.
Hyun Soo went to get it. "Maybe we should stop drinking," he said, returning with two bottles and glasses.
Jae Ho came out of the bathroom. He'd rolled up his sleeves "Why?" He ushered Hyun Soo to the sofa. "You have nothing to worry about. I'm not a mean drunk."
"I am," Hyun Soo responded.
Jae Ho seemed to find that hilarious. "I've known some mean drunks," he said. "As long as you don't try and take your belt to me, you're fine."
Hyun Soo couldn't tell how drunk he was. He appeared sober enough, not slurring his words, pouring his own drink with steady hands, but he guessed that the same thing could be said about Hyun Soo himself and he didn't feel sober. He felt untethered, floating between possibilities, but maybe that wasn't the drink, maybe that was Jae Ho. He'd been dizzying tonight, all uncontained energy. It looked like he could go on forever.
Hyun Soo relaxed on the sofa, content to watch him, even buzzing with his own restless energy. "You should get some of the guys to watch your back," he said.
"Hmm?" Jae Ho's eyes were big as he focused on Hyun Soo. "No need. I have you."
"Is that why you keep me close?"
"Why else?"
"And here I thought it was because I'm pretty to look at."
Jae Ho sputtered. "You little shit," he said, eventually, his eyes sharper, their focus more firmly on Hyun Soo. "You're really asking for it."
Was he? Hyun Soo met his eyes, feeling on the edge of something. This wasn't the first time he'd fetched up against this particular feeling. He was familiar with its shape; he knew that it wasn't inevitable, what would happen next. Jae Ho was still holding a drink. He thought that he could shrug, and Jae Ho would empty his glass, pour another, and they could continue drinking until there was no more soju in the fridge. "Sure you're not too drunk?"
Jae Ho blinked. "Why?" he asked, after a moment. "Are you wondering if I'll need some knock-off Viagra?"
That got a laugh out of Hyun Soo. "Can't afford brand name? Why knock-off?
Jae Ho put down his drink, his movement deliberate. "You couldn't handle me otherwise," he said.
They were both grinning when Jae Ho kissed him. It was more teeth than anything else, and they panted against each other until Jae Ho moved, pushed a hand in Hyun Soo's hair. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his lower lip, and Hyun Soo could tell he was still smiling as he did it, even though his eyes were closed, had closed of their own accord, maybe to protect him from being overwhelmed; he could hear his own breathing, frantic, too loud. His fingertips were tingling like this was his first drink of the night. He was clutching Jae Ho's shirt, thinking he should push his hands under it, but he got distracted by the feel of Jae Ho's stubble scraping his skin. He slid down on the sofa, not breaking the kiss, and a bottle fell to the floor. Both glasses followed.
"Leave it," Hyun Soo heard himself saying. He sounded wrecked.
But Jae Ho pulled back, panting, his eyes on Hyun Soo. His expression was caught somewhere between surprise and satisfaction. "Come on," he said.
There was no need for Viagra, after all, Hyun Soo thought, as he watched him get off the sofa, moving a little awkwardly, the bulge of his cock clearly visible through his slacks. He wanted to say something clever, but he didn't trust his voice.
Hyun Soo pushed his head back into the sofa cushions, groaning. The bedroom seemed both too close and too far away. Now that he wasn't pressed against Jae Ho, he felt almost too present in his body, conscious of how hard he was, how desperate. His clothes felt too tight, the room too hot.
He could jerk off here, he thought, and it would serve Jae Ho right.
When he made it to the bedroom he found that Jae Ho had thrown himself down on the bed, an arm under his head. "Make yourself comfortable," he said, looking up at Hyun Soo. "It's not the first time you've ended up here, in this bed."
He was still dressed; only his collar was undone. He'd lost his tie somewhere around Haeundae and Hyun Soo had had to watch him all evening, lapels fluttering in the wind. He could touch now, he thought, and crawled over to him. The bed dipped a little, pressed them closer together, and Hyun Soo's cock twitched. He panted into Jae Ho's neck, his hips moving, wanting to be even closer.
Jae Ho moved then, pressing his thigh against his cock. Hyun Soo's body tensed; he thrust up into it, eyes screwed shut, his breathing ragged, and came.
They both gasped.
"Who is it that needs Viagra?" Jae Ho said, a moment later, and then he burst into laughter.
Hyun Soo was still catching his breath, a pleasant tremor weighing down his limbs. He dragged a hand over his face, feeling it getting warm. He hadn't even taken off his trousers. "Shut up," he managed.
"No, no. I'm flattered," Jae Ho added, but he was laughing so hard he curled in on himself, his body shaking, jolting the bed in time with his panting breath. Hyun Soo ended up pressed against his back, so he snaked a hand around his waist and drew him even closer. He could make him shut up, he thought.
Jae Ho's laughter didn't cut off as he rubbed a hand over his groin, it just turned deeper, slower. Hyun Soo did it again, applying more pressure, and then opened his trousers. He could feel Jae Ho's stomach flutter as he took his cock out. They were breathing together, the movement of Jae Ho's back nudging his chest, hot even through their clothes. Jae Ho's laughter stopped as Hyun Soo stroked a hand over his cock. His breathing broke its rhythm, stuttered, and Hyun Soo smiled into his shoulder.
Jae Ho was uncut. Hyun Soo stroked him slowly, enjoying the sensation of foreskin moving under his hand; his own cock was growing hard again and he dragged Jae Ho back, rubbing against him. He twisted his hand a little on Jae Ho's cock and drew the foreskin back, exposing the head. Jae Ho groaned. His hips were moving in time with Hyun Soo's strokes and Hyun Soo shifted on the bed, breathing through his mouth. He felt close. And desperate. His free hand was caught under his body, but he moved, pushed it into his trousers and got it around his cock. He was wet from when he came earlier. The memory made him tremble. He couldn't imagine the noises he was making.
His other hand was still stroking Jae Ho. His cock was leaking precome; Hyun Soo tightened his hand before he let go, only to hear him make a sound very close to a whine as he pushed his hips up, finding only air. Hyun Soo groaned; he gathered his own come and brought the hand back to Jae Ho's cock. He was sure Jae Ho didn't need the extra lubrication, but Hyun Soo wanted it.
"Fuck," Jae Ho said, more exhalation than word, and his hand wrapped around Hyun Soo's, tightening it around his cock.
Hyun Soo's second orgasm of the night was a slow-moving train. He felt Jae Ho shudder, come spilling over their joined hands; felt him move back against Hyun Soo; felt, too, the stutter of his breathing and heard the moan he couldn't help. He came in the shivery quiet after Jae Ho's orgasm, a silent explosion that left him lightheaded.
And he still had his trousers on.
"Tell me you have a hangover," Jae Ho mumbled. The sun had reached Jae Ho's bedroom and was spilling over the covers in long strips of light.
"Uh-uh, fresh as a daisy," Hyun Soo said. He wasn't lying. He felt energised, like more than one type of tension had dissipated last night. He knew that wasn't true, even as he stretched, basking in the feeling. "I'm young," he added, just to be obnoxious.
Jae Ho had an arm covering his eyes, but Hyun Soo could see that he was smiling.
He kissed his temple as he jumped out of bed.