Work Text:
Michael's p.o.v
Luke and I decided we'd go get pizza without Calum and Ashton. Just the two, something we haven't done in forever.
"Mikey, gonna eat anymore?" Luke asks. "Nah.." I shrug and push the pan away. A frown forms on his face. "You okay, Michael?" He asks. "Yeah, fine." I say. "Just not all that hungry."
He nods and looks down, continuing to eat.
I wish I could eat a lot and stay skinny as fuck. How can he do it? How does he do it?
I look down at myself, I've gained so much weight..
"ready to head back to the hotel?" Luke asks. I nod and stand up, zipping my sweater up. He raised his eyebrows. I shrug and stick my hands in my pockets.
We get back to the hotel, I lay down and get on my phone. He looks at me and walks to the other bed.
I log onto Twitter. Pictures of me these last few nights are everywhere, they're saying about how I gained weight. I sigh and sit up. "I'm gonna shower." I say and throw my phone on the bed and walk into the bathroom before he could say anything.
I stand under the stream, letting the hot water run down my back, my head resting on the wall.
I exhale and start washing my hair.
~
"Michael," Luke knocks. "What?" I snap. "God, I need to pee." He says. "Give me a second." I say and stare at myself in the mirror. "You've been in there an hour." He says. "A second, Luke!" I say. "God damn. Okay." He says.
I get dressed and open the door, he walks past me and closes the door. I huff and lay down on the bed.
I grab my phone-- which is in a different spot. I open Twitter again and log out, texting my mum afterwards.
Me: hey mum, how are you?
Mum: fine, how are you?
Me: I'm good. Just a lil homesick.
Mum: we miss you too, Mikey.
"If you needed a little privacy that's all you had to say." Luke says. "Fuck off. That's not what I was doing." I say. "I was joking. What crawled up your butt." He says. "Nothing." I say. "What's with you." He asks. "I said nothing now drop it." I say and sit up. "No, what's wrong?" He asks, voice not raising. "I said drop it." I stand up. "No, tell me." He says setting his hand on my side, stopping me from leaving.
"Don't touch me there." I hit his hand away. "Why?" He asks. "Cause it's disgusting."
"What is?" He asks. "Me! I'm disgusting." I say almost yelling. "Mikey, you're not disgusting." He says frowning. "Yes I am, Luke." I say. "I'm fat and I'm gross." I look down. "I'm a fucking girl."
"Mikey." He grabs my hand I look at him, taking my hand away. "What the fuck do you care." I say and step away. He set his hand on my neck, leaning close, closing his eyes and kissing me.
I stare at him in shock. "That's the fuck I care." He said softly, staring into my eyes.
"You like me?" I ask. "No." He says. "I fucking love you. Blind fool. And I care about you. Now talk to me." He says. I stare at my feet.
Why does he love me.. I never thought of Luke that way.
He's my best friend..
"Mikey, please." He says. I look up at him, kissing him back.
"Don't distract me. Talk." He says. I sigh and look back down. My heart races when I kiss him.. What does that mean?
"Why do you think you're disgusting?" He asks. "Cause I am.." I say. "No you are not." He says. I shrug and look away from him. Why does someone as beautiful as he is, love someone as gross as me?
"Come with me." He grabs my hand. Pulling me to the mirror on the closet. "I don't want to look at myself." I say and turn away. He sets his hands on my cheeks. "You're going to." He says sternly. I stare at him. He starts pulling my shirt off. "Luke, Luke. No." I shake my head. "Shh." He makes me look at him again after my shirt is off. "It's okay, Mikey.." He says. "No it's not." I say. "It will be. Turn around." He says. I shake my head.
He guides me, making me face the mirror. I stare at myself in the mirror. I turn my head and close my eyes. He sets his hands on my hips. "You know what I see?" He asks. "Something really fuckin disgusting?" I whisper. "No, the opposite.. God Michael, you're fucking beautiful." He says. I stare at the floor. "You are not disgusting," his hands roam my stomach. "Look." He whispers in my ear. "Michael look at me." He says.
I slowly lift my head and look at him through the mirror. He smiles, "I see a very beautiful guy, the most beautiful guy ever." He kisses my cheek. "And you know what? This beautiful guy thinks he's disgusting. And that fucking breaks my heart." He says, voice trying not to crack.
"You are so fucking beautiful, god damn. You're hot," he kisses my neck. "This is what you do to me." He pulls my hips back. I lightly yelp and my butt is against him.
He ruts his hips against mine. His member pressing against my butt.
"This is what you do to me, you're so pretty." He kisses my ear.
He stands in front of me, hands on my cheeks. "I love your body, Mikey, it's so beautiful. You're fuckin beautiful." He says. "Can you please show me.." I whisper looking down. "Show me why you think I'm beautiful." I say. "Certainly." He says and guides me back to the bed. "I'm gonna kiss you." He says. I nod and look up at him.
I slide my arms around his neck and kiss him back, my heart racing.
"I'm kissing my best friend." I push him away. "I'm kissing-" I look at him, my heart flutters.
He steps closer and lifts my chin, kissing me again. I close my eyes and let him.
He looks at me again. I stare at him wide eyed. "I love you so much Michael." He whispers. "It's okay, I'll protect you." He says.
He lays me on my back and he kisses my neck. I close my eyes and let the feeling of his lip ring slide across my neck to my chest.
I let out a quiet cry. "Shh, baby." He sits up. "Shit uh Mikey; shh. It's okay." He says. I look at him, eyes still filled with tears.
He wipes my cheeks, "Mikey.." He says softly. "Call me baby again.." I say, voice cracking. "Baby, don't cry." He says. I pull him close and kiss him, tears still coming out. "Make love to me.." I say, voice cracking horribly. "Show-- show me love. Please" I say. "Okay, okay." He says, pecking my lips. "Calm down first." He says. I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath. "It's going to be okay." He says, kissing my lips again. "I'm gonna take care of you."
I nod and wrap my arms around his neck.
He ruts his hips down against mine. I make a noise and look down. He chuckles, making me look up at him. "Like that?" He asks. I nod and he does it again. I gasp and close my eyes.
"I'm gonna take your pants off, don't freak." He says. I nod. He moved back and starts pulling my pj bottoms off. I lift my hips and he takes them off. He kisses my neck.
I pull his shirt off and connect our lips. He licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth. His tongue slides in my mouth and he moans softly. And I admit, it was hot.
He gets up and pulls his sweats off, he walks to his backpack and grabs a few things. I watch him. He walks back over to me, setting them down. It's a condom and something else I don't know what it is. "I didn't know guys who sleep with guys needed condoms." I say quietly. "They don't necessarily need to." He says kisses my lips. "Does it feel better without?" I ask curiously. "For both of us, yes." He says. "Do we have to use it?" I ask. "We don't have to, no." He says biting my lip. "Do you want to?"
I shake my head. He smiles and throws the packet to the floor. "Then we won't." He says.
"Can I take your boxers off now?" He asks. "Yours first." I say, setting my hands on my belly. He smiles and nods. He sits back and stands up, pulling his boxers down.
I swallow audibly, staring at him. He's huge. "Is-is it going to hurt?" I ask. "I'm going to do everything I can to not hurt you, baby." He says kissing me. I nod, he slides my boxers down, I look down and then up at him. "Shit, mike, you're fucking huge." He says. I smile shyly and shrug. "God damn." He says. He kisses me, hungrily. I slide my arms around his neck.
"Okay.. I'm gonna do something, don't freak out, just-- its not going to hurt." He says. "What?" I ask. "I have to prepare you.." He says. "Oh.. Okay" I say and nod. He opens the thing and looks at me, "I seriously thought you'd be the dominant one." He says. "Shut up. I will be." I say. "Why are you letting me do this?" He asks closing the thing and hovering me again.
"I want-- need to feel loved." I whisper and stare at him. "I feel this is the best way." I murmur. He pecks my lips, one last time. He brings my legs up, feet on the bed. I look at him, he has his tongue out a bit. It's cute.
He pushes his finger against my entrance. I squeak and look down at his hand. "Relax, baby." He whispers. He pushes his finger in, I frown and make a noise. "Does it hurt?" He asks. "No, just feels slightly uncomfortable." I say. "Wait a sec" he pushes in more. I close my eyes and gasp, "shit." I whisper. He pumps his finger and I squirm. He chuckles.
"I'm gonna add another." He says. I nod.
He pulls his finger out, I hear the cap close and feel his fingers pushing in. There's a slight burning sensation, I make a noise and exhale, trying to relax. He pushes his fingers in more and I let out a long moan. He opens his fingers, I gasp and look at him. He smiles and keeps doing that, "so beautiful." He whispers kissing my stomach and sides. I close my eyes again, arching my back.
"I'm gonna add a third finger." He says. I look at him and nod. He pecks my lips before pulling his fingers out.
He holds his fingers to my entrance, meeting my eyes. He pushes, and it burns some more. I make a face and he keeps pushing his three fingers in. I pant and grip the bed sheets. He parts his fingers, my eyes shoot open and I moan loudly.
"God even the sounds you make are beautiful." He says kissing my neck.
"Okay." He says and slides his fingers out of me, I whine and look at him. He opens the thing and pours some on his hand, wrapping it around himself. I set my hand on his and help him pump his hand. He meets my eyes, I smile a little and look down.
I kiss him, he sets his clean hand on my cheek. I meet his eyes again. He moved my hand off of him and hovered me again. He looks down, grabbing his length again, lining up with my entrance.
He looks at me. "Okay?" He asks. I nod and the tip touches me. I hold my breath and he pushes it in. I make a face.
"Luke, it hurts." I whimper. "That's cause you're tense," he slowly pushes in. "Relax, baby." He kisses me. I squeeze my eyes shut and he sucks on my lip, I relax a little and he bottoms out. I squeeze his hips.
"God damn, so fucking beautiful." He whispers, squeezing my hips. Biting my shoulder. "All mine, this fucking beautiful body is mine." He says. "Yours to mark.." I pant and wrap my legs around his waist, I get used to the fullness. "Fuckin move, Luke." I demand.
"Power bottom, hot" he says. I glare at him. He giggles and kisses me.
He slowly moves back, I close my eyes moaning. He pulled out to the tip, pushing back in at the same pace. I open my eyes and look into his.
He keeps going at the same pace. "Oh, God." I whisper and kiss him. He grunts, biting my lip softly. I close my eyes, moaning into his mouth.
I close my eyes and breathe heavily, "feels so-" I moan. "Feels so fucking good, Luke.. don't stop-" I drag my nails down his back. He sucks on my neck, biting my shoulder, keeping his same slow gentle pace.
I cry out his name, biting his shoulder and leaving marks on his neck.
"Oh fuck- Luke." I moan and push my face into his neck. "Fucking hell, Mikey. God you're tight." He kisses my ear. I moan softly, scratching at his back.
"Fuck, Luke. I love you." I meet his eyes, my own wide. He stopped moving. "You do?" He asks. I nod. He kisses me, I slide my hands up his back. He starts moving again, quicker but not harder.
I arch my back again, my toes curling. "Oh my fuck- Luke!" I scratch his back.
He groans, and collapsed on me. In my mess. I close my eyes and turn my face into his neck. He pants.
I kiss his ear, "thank you." I whisper. He looks down at me. "God damn, that was great, Mikey." He whispers softly. I stare at him.
"You're so beautiful, Michael." He whispers. I smile and kiss his jaw. "I've never-- felt--" I meet his eyes again. "I've-- thank you." I whisper again. He kisses me again.
He pulls out of me, I groan softly and he looks at me apologetically. I shake my head and touch his arm. I close my eyes.
He kisses my shoulder, kissing down my chest. I look at him. He looks up at me, licking up my mess.
I watch him. He marks my chest, his face is back in mine. "that was hot." I say. He smiles and wipes his mouth. "Couldn't help myself. Now this is mine." He says motioning over my body. I chuckle. "My beautiful body." He says kissing my cheek.
"Let's get you cleaned up." He says, getting up and grabbing a rag from the bathroom.
He cleans me up, pulling boxers on. I sit up and slide my arms around his waist. He wraps his arms around me, kissing my head.
"Tell me Mikey," he says softly. I look up at him. "Am I your boyfriend now?" He asks. I smile and rest my forehead on his. "Do you want to be?" I ask. "Yeah, kinda." He says. "Then yeah. Meet Luke, my boyfriend." I say. He smiles and kisses me.
We lay down, he puts his face in my neck. I rake my fingers through his hair.
"Tell anyone how I like being called baby and I won't let you touch me ever again." I say. He giggles. "I was waiting for that. Promise, Mikey." He misses kisses my neck.
"How do you feel about yourself now?" He asks, trailing his fingers along my stomach. "A little bit better." I say and shrug. He looks at me. "I can show you how much it's loved again." He says. "No." I laugh. "Not tonight.." I whisper and roll to my side, facing him.
"I seriously love you so much, Michael." He whispers. I stare at him, he has his hand on my side, thumb moving back and forth. "I.. love you.. Luke." I whisper. He kisses me. I look at him again. "Why do you love.. Why does someone as beautiful as you love someone like me?" I ask. "What do you mean someone like you?" He asks.
"Not as attractive." I glance away. "Barely attractive." I whisper. "Who said you were unattractive?" He says and leans up on his arm. "I did." I say. "A lot of people are."
"You're not unattractive, Mikey.. We just established this, you're beautiful." He says. "I don't feel like it. I don't look like it.." I say softly. He cups my cheek. "You're really beautiful, baby. I love your body, the fans love your body. They keep asking for shirtless pics." He says. I shake my head and stare at his chest. "You don't understand how much I love your body, Michael. God I wish there were a different way to show you how much I love it." He says sliding his hand down my stomach.. "I'm gonna kiss everywhere." He says.
He kisses my neck, down my chest. I slide my hands down his back. He keeps kissing along my stomach.
I cover my face when he finishes. "Mikey.." He says softly, sadly. "I'm sorry, Luke." I say. "We're gonna get you help.. Your mental health.. Baby.." His voice cracks. My eyes water and I stare at him. He breathes in slowly. "You're fucking gorgeous.. You're sad, you need to talk to someone.." He says, voice cracking at the end. His eyes are glassy. "I'm sorry." I say and hug him. "I can't have you sad.." He whispers. I squeeze my eyes shut, a few tears slipping out. He exhales shakily. "I love you so fucking much, Michael.." He whispers. I wipe my eyes and look at him. He wipes my cheek, staring into my eyes. "I love you." He repeats again.
"I love you too."