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Lost In Confusion: A Young Man Questioning Himself

Summary:

Asanuma is confused about his feelings toward his senpai and is questioning himself. Meanwhile, he became the victim of the week.

Written for the Sailor Moon LGBTQ+ Week 2023!

Notes:

Day 3 - Vacation

A little late for day 3 I know, but better late than never! xD

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Ding Dong!

"Mamoru-senpai! Are you there? Mamoru-senpai!"

Knock! Knock! Knock!

After waiting for an answer from ringing the door, Asanuma Ittou chose to knock without success. The young man pouted.

"He's not there… here I thought I could have some good quality time with senpai…"

Asanuma sighed, downhearted, as he turned back, ready to leave.

"Excuse me… who are you?"

The young man flinched. He turned his head and discovered who had spoken to him. Looking at him was a young woman around his age, with long brown hair tied into a ponytail, green-forest eyes, and unusually tall for a girl- taller than him. Asanuma didn't realize he was staring at her and blushed.

"A-ah… I'm… a friend of Chiba-senpai…!"

The girl looked at him up and down as if she was suspicious of him.

"Mamoru-san is in college and you seem to be around my age," she replied. "How can he be your senpai? How do you know him?"

"Well… I'm a student at Moto-Azabu Private School. It's an escalator school, containing a middle school and a high school. I'm in my last year of middle school, I met Mamoru-senpai when he was still in high school there."

"Oh…"

"A-and you, who are you…?" he tried to turn the table.

"I'm Kino Makoto, a friend of Mamoru-san. He asked me to water his plants while he's on vacation with Usagi-chan."

Vacation? Vacation! His senpai was on vacation and he didn't even know!? Preposterous! And with this Usagi girl on top of that! Asanuma never met her, but he knew who she was- Mamoru's girlfriend. He mentioned her often, much to Asanuma's jealousy.

"Huh!? On vacation!? But we were supposed to hang out this weekend…"

"Ah… he must have forgotten. I'm sorry about that, uh…?"

"Asanuma. Asanuma Ittou…" he replied, still disheartened.

Asanuma couldn't believe his beloved senpai would have forgotten about their promise to instead spend time with some girl… even if said girl was his girlfriend, after all.

"Would you like me to leave him a note that you come by…?" Makoto proposed.

"No, it's fine, forget about what I said. Sorry for the inconvenience, Kino-san…"

Without looking back at her, Asanuma was already on his way to the exit.


"Lately, there haven't been any cuties among the potential targets," Tiger's Eye complained.

"The women all lack the mature charm I'm looking for," Hawk's Eye added.

"I just want a pretty guy to go after," Fish Eye sighed.

The Amazon Trio were all hanging out at the usual bar they went to in the Dead Moon Circus hideout in-between missions, looking through pictures of possible targets while sipping beverages. Then suddenly, Fish Eye's attention was attracted by a specific picture.

"Oh!"

The blue-haired boy seized it, contemplating the person on it.

"This boy is pretty cute! I think I'll go for him!" he exclaimed cheerfully. "He looks so innocent… I bet he will be an easy target."

"Ugh, a dude again," Hawk's Eye replied.

"We should really ban men from the selection," Tiger's Eye suggested.

"Then we should also ban kids," Fish Eye said, tongue-in-cheeks.

"Hey! I like young girls, not children!" Tiger's Eye protested. "It's better than Hawk's Eye being into old ladies…"

"I like mature women, not old ladies!"

As Tiger's Eye and Hawk's Eye continued to argue regarding their preferences about women, Fish Eye stared lovingly at the picture of his next target, thinking about how he was going to approach him.


Asanuma was left moping on his own, sitting on a bench in a park. He couldn't stop thinking about Mamoru, how envious he was of that girlfriend of his who got to spend quality time with him while he was alone. If only he were the one on vacation with his dear senpai…

The young man started to blush and then shook his head vigorously.

"What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so jealous? Mamoru-senpai and I are just friends, he was my upper-classmate… and we're both… guys…"

Asanuma felt his heart racing. Thinking about Mamoru that way made him feel funny in his chest. Mamoru had always been so helpful ever since he entered Moto-Azabu Private School, he was such a reliable and dependable senpai. He had everything for himself: intelligence, good looks, a great personality…

Asanuma was now madly blushing.

"Why am I thinking about Mamoru-senpai that way? He's a boy! Am I… gay?"

He then remembered that girl he encountered when he went to Mamoru's apartment.

"Right, that girl… she was pretty," he thought. "I do find women attractive. So I can't be gay!"

Asanuma nodded at that thought. He must have confused his admiration and respect for attraction and love. This was nothing more than the affection a kouhai would have towards his senpai, nothing romantic. There was no way he could be gay… right?

Yeah, of course not.

"Excuse me… are you from Moto-Azabu Private School by any chance?"

Asanuma suddenly looked up and was utterly stunned by the true beauty that was awaiting him. He was welcomed by an individual with long, blue hair and eyes of the same colour, smiling softly at him. Asanuma blushed despite him, looking down.

"What… what a cute girl…!" he thought.

But then, he realized his mistake. This person… was wearing the Moto-Azabu school uniform. And Moto-Azabu… was an all-boy school!

This person was a man.

And he found him attractive.

"Are you alright?" The blue-haired boy asked.

"A-ah… y-yes…! I'm from Moto-Azabu Private School! I'll start high school there soon…!" Asanuma stuttered, flustered.

"Really? That's great! It means you're my senpai! I just transferred recently and I was looking for someone who could show me around!"

"I… sure?"

"Yay!"

The blue-haired boy suddenly grabbed Asanuma by the arm and drew him closer.

"Lead the way!"


"There we are, Moto-Azabu Private School," Asanuma said.

The blue-haired boy was still clinging to his arm, much to Asanuma's embarrassment. He couldn't help but feel flushed whenever he laid eyes on the other boys. He didn't want to feel that way about a fellow man, and he couldn't help but think about Mamoru.

But he was this boy's senpai and it was his duty to be reliable and dependable towards him, just like Mamoru was for him.

That's it!

He didn't want to be with Mamoru, he wanted to be like him.

"The school looks empty," the blue-haired boy remarked.

"Well, yeah, it is the weekend…"

"Not that I'm complaining, it means I can have Asanuma-senpai all to myself!"

As he said that, he clung to Asanuma even more. The latter was blushing once again until he realized something was odd.

"Uh… how do you know my name?"

"Hm? What do you mean? You told me, didn't you?"

"...No? I didn't…?"

"Really? I thought you did…"

"I didn't. Now that I think about it, how did you know I was going to Moto-Azabu? I'm not even wearing my uniform."

The blue-haired boy remained silent for a moment before he sighed, letting go of Asanuma's arm.

"I slipped up. And here I wanted to have some fun with you before finishing up my mission…"

"Huh!?"

The blue-haired boy suddenly snapped his fingers and out of thin air, a blue carpet came out of nowhere to hide his body. It vanished as quickly as it appeared and revealed the boy's true appearance, one of a humanoid, fish-like being.

"What!?" Asanuma exclaimed.

"One!"

Some sort of red panel appeared behind Asanuma, slapping behind his back.

"Two!"

Then, four metallic cuffs appeared on each corner of the panel, restraining Asanuma's wrists and ankles.

"Three!"

Asanuma immediately felt a horrible pain in his chest as he screamed in pain. Something eventually came out from his chest- some sort of pink framed mirror.

"...w-what…?"

"Hehe… now, let me take a peek at your beautiful dream."

"W-Wait…!"

The blue-haired boy grabbed onto each side of the mirror before plunging his head right in. Once again, the pain was back. Asanuma felt like the most intimate part of himself was being invaded and violated, and cried out. The pain was such that he couldn't take it anymore, losing consciousness.


Fish Eye removed his head from the Dream Mirror, a disappointed look on his face.

"Aw, Pegasus wasn't there… and looks like you are a really confused, questioning young man… I almost feel bad that I have to kill you now…"

Fish Eye then grinned, lightly stroking Asanuma's cheek.

"What a shame, I could have helped you figure yourself out… but, for the sake of my mission, you have to die. Can't have Pegasus hide in your beautiful dream-"

"You stop right there!" Called out a feminine voice.

"Huh!?"

Fish Eye immediately turned back, to see who dared interrupt him.

"How dare you take advantage of this young man who was only looking for male companionship! He was missing his friend and you deceived him! I am the Pretty Guardian who fights for Love and for Courage. I am Sailor Jupiter! I'll make you feel regret, it'll leave you numb!"

Fish Eye clicked his tongue with annoyance.

"You again! You annoying mini-skirt-wearing senshi always get in my way…! Where are the other two, the more annoying ones, with the odango?"

"Uh… they… are on their way…" Jupiter said. "In the meantime, imma kick your butt!"

"No thanks, I'm not interested in a girl doing anything to my butt. Come here, my Lemures, The Knife Thrower, Nagenaifurō!"

Fish Eye's shadow grew bigger and a creature came out from it. It looked like a bald male humanoid with blue skin with a lean, muscular body with blades coming out from his limbs and head.

"Knife Thrower!" the Lemures yelled.

"I'll take my leave, have fun trying to kick my Lemures' butt," Fish Eye said before disappearing into a portal made of water.

The Lemures pulled knives out of his arms.

"Knives Throwing!" he yelled.

As he said that, he quite literally threw the knife at Jupiter.

"Supreme Thunder!"

Jupiter sent a powerful wave of lighting to intercept the knife. Nagenaifurō grabbed a few more knives from his body and threw them at Jupiter.

"Take this, take this, and take this!" the Lemures yell.

Jupiter dodged the knives and started running around the Lemures. She simply dodged the knives he kept throwing at her for now, until she ran out of stamina from running and dodging for so long.

"Tired, aren't you? Then this shall be the end for you!" Nagenaifurō taunted.

But when he tried to grab another knife, his hand grabbed air.

"Our of knives, aren't you?" Jupiter taunted.

"...S-shit…!"

Jupiter crossed her arms over her chest with her index and pinky fingers extended. Then, the lightning rod that is hidden inside her tiara extended, crackling with electricity. Lightning rained down from the sky, collecting around her rod until she extended her arms and sent them toward her enemy.

"Super Supreme Thunder!"

The powerful gust of lighting hit the Lemures right in the chest, spreading to all of his body.

"Stage out!"

The lighting charge completely annihilated him, leaving nothing of him. Asanuma's Dream Mirror went back inside his body and his restraints suddenly vanished. Jupiter rushed to catch him before he'd reach the ground. Asanuma weakly opened his eyes for a moment, looking directly at her.

"Who… who are…you…?"

And he fell back into unconsciousness.


Asanuma woke up with a start. He had some weird dream about a feminine blue-haired boy attacking him, and a sailor-suit girl saving him… he blushed, remembering how he thought both of them were attractive.

"Asanuma-kun?"

The young man winced.

"Eh!?"

He noticed he was lying down on a bench, with a girl sitting right next to him… more specifically, his head was resting on her lap. His face turned completely red upon this realization and he immediately straightened up, sitting next to her.

"S-sorry!" he apologized, embarrassed.

"Ah, no, it's alright. I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable while sleeping."

Sleeping? Why would he be sleeping in the middle of a public park? He remembered going to the park to mope alone, sitting on that bench… maybe he got tired and fell asleep. And then he had that strange dream…

"Uh… Kino-san, was it?" he suddenly asked.

"Hm? Yeah, Kino Makoto."

"Sorry if I was… weird, earlier. I just got caught on in my own feelings and needed to sort them out, alone…"

"Your own feelings… about Mamoru-san? Were you that upset that he forgot you were supposed to hang out?"

"I'm more upset that'd he'd rather hang out with his girlfriend than me…"

"Eh…?"

Realizing what he had just said, Asanuma looked down, ashamed.

"F-forget what I just said-"

"Are you… jealous of Usagi-chan?"

"...Maybe?"

"Asanuma-kun… do you like Mamoru-san? The same way Usagi-chan does?"

Asanuma hesitated before answering.

"I… I'm not sure. I think I do? But… I don't think I should…"

"There's nothing wrong if you like boys. I have friends who are in a same-sex relationship," Makoto tried to reassure him.

"It's not that I like boys, I'm not sure if I'm gay… because there are also girls I find attractive. So I don't understand what I am. Is what I'm feeling for Mamoru-senpai just admiration, or am I… really attracted to him…?"

Makoto took a few seconds to answer.

"I like boys, but I also had a crush on a girl one time," she began with a soft smile. "It also felt like admiration at first, but it was also attraction. And I realized I could like both boys and girls. You can be attracted to more than one gender."

"I… I can…?"

Makoto nodded.

"Yes. And there's nothing wrong or to be ashamed about that."

"Thank you, Kino-san. I… really needed to hear that. Just, please, don't tell Mamoru-senpai."

"I wouldn't! You can trust me."

She then looked at her watch.

"It's starting to get late… but hey, since Mamoru-san bailed on you, would you like to hang out with me instead tomorrow? I'm no senpai, but I know what it's like to feel forgotten by your senpai."

"Oh, sure, I'd love to!"

Asanuma felt like a weight have been removed from his shoulders. Being able to tell someone about how he felt about Mamoru, about his attraction, especially to someone who seemed to relate to him, had been freeing.

He was even glad that his senpai went on vacation after all so he could have this encounter with Makoto.


Bonus:

Drawing I did for rarepair week, theme "sweet". Coincidentally, fitting day 3 alternative theme "cooking".

Notes:

I always wanted to find a way to include Asanuma in the 90s anime timeline, and season 4 felt like the best spot for him. But given he did have a cameo in season 5 and Usagi didn't know him, I couldn't have her in the story, hence why she's on vacation with Mamoru (and fitting this day's theme). I wanted to write a fic like an episode of season 4 for a while and I finally had the occasion, as well to explore Asanuma's bisexuality.