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“No,” Tony gasped jolting upright from the center of the bed, covered in a layer of sweat and shaking with fear after he’d lost himself to another nightmare. It had only been a couple of days since the Chitauri invasion, but the threat of the final moments of nothingness still felt so real. In those few, fleeting seconds Tony caught a glimpse of himself, of his life and the insignificance of it all when the space explosion erupted effectively defeating the bad guys but leaving Tony floating in a sea of nothingness drifting away from the world with the end so very near.
Panting against his need to suck oxygen into his lungs, Tony fought for clarity, to pull himself out of the blackness where he hadn’t made his way out. In his dreams Tony was forever trapped in a void, waiting for his last breath to expel from his lungs and be pushed out of his body with the lifeforce he’d often taken for granted in his years of living it up and pretending that he was what the world expected him to be. Without a care in the world. Without a heart and a mind at making things right after years of horrors came from the legacy that his father and later Obadiah built around him back when Tony had been lost in so much pain that he led the world to believe hadn’t given a damn.
Only he had.
He’d always cared, but he’d spent so long in a drunken stupor that he hadn’t been able to reconcile it all. It was a blur of parties, women, inebriated nights of damn near sinking to rock bottom until he’d found a new purpose and reason. Until he’d changed. Until…
“Stop,” he silently counseled himself as it all came rushing into the waking hours. The fear, the heightened sense of awareness in knowing that he’d reached the final breaking point. That the party was over.
Done. Game over. No more returns.
Just a blur of mistakes strung together until Tony Stark would be remembered as the man who’d bravely risked it all to save the world, taking his shot at heroics, but paying the ultimate price along the way.
“Please,” he mouthed under his breath. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, to the way that he still felt trapped even though he’d made it back. He’d saved the day, lived to tell the tale, yet there was a heaviness that never left his chest and a dread that filled his heart as he peeled the blankets away from his sweat soaked body and suddenly remembered that he wasn’t alone in his bed.
That thought stilled Tony as his dark eyes sought out the outline of the man at his side, who was at peace in his dreams, lost in thoughts of a life that began long before Tony was a part of the world. On most occasions before the battle against the Chitauri, it was Steve, who was fending off the demons inside his head, waking up each night screaming about ‘Bucky’ and breaking into sobs about the friend Steve hadn’t been able to save, about the life he hadn’t been able to live in a world that was once his own.
Maybe that was why Tony had been drawn to Steve in the first place knowing that Steve was more than just the ideal. Sure, Steve was Howard’s vision of perfection, but in all his faultlessness there was a darkness, a side caged beneath the surface within the man out of time who was lost and broken, distanced from the world around him in ways that Tony had often experienced. That truth served as a bond between them, bringing them closer until that fateful night when they’d taken things to another level between them beyond sorting through their usual posturing over the team dynamics.
That first night had been a surprise.
To them both, but a pleasant one at that.
After that first time they’d grudgingly kept from speaking about it until it happened again. And again. After about five times Tony couldn’t quite call it love as he and Steve hadn’t put that label on it, especially with Tony and Pepper on the on and offs with one another, but it felt nice. It was something that Steve had agreed to play loose and casual that they’d chalked up as ‘blowing off steam’ together the few times after it happened, but now in the days after the Chitauri invasion, it felt as if it was happening more frequently. The sex was incredible, but the way that Steve had gone from slipping out of Tony’s place in the middle of the night to sleeping over and holding Tony during his nightmares had changed all the rules.
Until now, Tony frowned, unable to sit idle and wallow in his misery with Steve so at peace in his bed. The last thing Tony wanted to do was burden anyone with his anxiety, to pull anyone else into what he was experiencing after the end of his world had left him dreaming of the end—carried away by a fear that one day he would be at the threshold of the end of the universe facing death and finding himself unable to cheat his way back from his inevitable fate.
So consumed by the fear of no longer existing Tony was driven to slide out of the bed and work his way downstairs to his lab, where he’d moved into the adjacent bathroom area peeling his clothes away and showering as if the simple act of scrubbing his already aching body could erase the panic that had haunted his dreams. He scrubbed himself raw, but the memory was still so vivid pinched behind logic and reason, yet persistent and all-consuming in ways that he couldn’t escape. It was always there. The nothingness. The empty feeling of floating aimlessly away into the darkness with no escape—no reprieve. Lowering his head, Tony allowed the scalding liquid coming out from the showerhead above to roll over him, to work over his tense, knotted muscles and pull him back to his reality, to the fact that he was alive and breathing, awake in a world that wasn’t quite ready to quit him just yet.
“You can do this,” he mouthed to himself behind tracks of burning tears as another series of shudders worked over him, pulling him from the hopes of recovering and back to the crippling fear that tore at his mind in his dreams. In his panic, his knees grew weak and he sank to the shower floor, pulling his legs up to his chest as Tony fought for breath against a hot, sting of bitter tears on his cheek knowing it was foolish to linger in the past, yet there was nothing he could to do break free from the anxiety that rolled over his body stealing his carefree nature away from him and replacing it with paralyzing fear.
Tony lost track of time after his meltdown in the shower, yet somehow with JARVIS alerting him to the fact that Steve was in the lab searching for him, Tony found the strength to pull himself out of the showers and dry off. He’d reached for an old, faded rock band t-shirt he’d kept tucked in one of the cabinets, pulling it over his head before collecting a pair of frayed jeans. He’d thought he’d tossed them away years earlier, but rather they’d just pushed around from place to place before landing in his storage closest. They were a tight fit, but they were adequate enough to be frame his ass in just the right ways to provoke a response out of Steve. Not that Tony was looking to get one, but it never hurt to keep Cap on his toes, Tony reasoned behind a forced smile and a breath to ease him out of the bathroom with his damp hair combed back over his head in the aftermath of his mini breakdown.
“Hey Cap,” Tony spoke loud enough to redirect his companion’s attention from the glass capsule housing the armor that Tony had worn during the Chitauri invasion. It was tucked away behind the protective cover where Tony had left it after he’d found the strength to get out of it. Now Steve was focused on it beneath the glass, almost mesmerized in his observations as Tony slowed in his approach wondering what had pulled Steve into the lab with him, “You okay?”
“I came here to ask you that very question,” Steve noted tipping his head back and delivering Tony a slow, concerned perusal as the soft indigo illumination from the glass revealed the shadows across Steve’s solid jawline and soulful, time-weathered eyes hidden beneath the deception his body’s youth conveyed to the rest of the world.
“Did I wake you when I left?” Tony questioned, lowering his voice, and catching the heat that Steve’s eyes carried in the way they’d followed Tony across the room, “I was trying to be quiet when I walked out.”
“I didn’t hear you leave,” Steve sighed before twisting around to face Tony fully, “but rather I could feel your warmth retreat with your disappearance. Your bed is exceedingly comfortable Tony, but it’s not nearly as relaxing without you in it.”
“I had some work to do down here,” Tony lied turning away as warmth spilled over his cheeks. He walked across the lab looking for something to fidget with before reaching for a wrench he’d left out on the counter. He tinkered with it in his fingers before standing up taller as the weight of Steve’s stare cut through him without Tony having to look around at Steve to know what Steve was doing in scrutinizing Tony’s retreat, “Important stuff. Couldn’t wait until morning and…”
“You had another nightmare, didn’t you?” Steve questioned behind a tentative breath.
“I really just…” Tony felt the lie on his lips, but it felt pointless as he set the wrench down on the countertop once again. He lowered his head and let out a small sigh before nodding in affirmation, “I was trying to let you sleep when I left so that…”
“Talk to me Tony,” Steve pleaded bridging the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Tony’s torso in a tight embrace. He rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder, tilting his head inward to place a kiss over the warm, damp patch of skin pushing out from the collar of Tony’s weathered t-shirt.
“I can’t,” Tony confessed behind closed eyes and a grimace, “It’s not that I don’t want to, but I just…”
“I’m here for you Tony,” Steve kissed his neck again, this time bringing his hand up over Tony’s abdomen with the gesture, “Anything that’s on your mind, all you have to do is talk to me and…”
“I’m not good at that…with talking,” Tony let out an ironic laugh before shaking his head at the ridiculousness he felt while caged in the warmth of Steve’s arms, “No, I take that back. I’m exceptionally well at talking. I do it all the time. More than I should. Probably more of a knee jerk reaction. A reflex if you will, but one that I spend far too much time doing when…”
“Tony,” Steve spoke his name and the words stopped. Instead, Tony leaned back into the strength Steve’s chest provided over his spine and let out a slow, uneasy breath as Tony’s mind was still filled with the horrors he’d endured in his sleep.
“I’m not good at opening up about what I’m feeling,” Tony divulged behind a broken breath, “Maybe I never was. There’s just something inside of me that’s…”
“What?” Steve questioned gently squeezing his fingers over Tony’s chest as a sign of support.
“Broken. Damaged,” Tony shook his head and fought against his natural inclination to lose himself to the warmth of Steve’s embrace. He stepped outside of Steve’s arms, hating to leave the comfort, yet somehow after his meltdown Tony felt as if he needed space to breathe—as if he needed to sort out his demons with himself before pulling anyone that he loved into them.
“Tony?”
“I just…” Tony stopped talking when his eyes were fixated on his armor, on the memory of the last time he’d worn it when it was the only thing keeping him from disappearing into the endless abyss of the unknown falling forever into the darkness around him.
“Just what?” Steve’s tentative footsteps were all the encouragement that Tony needed to turn around and face his new lover with a poignant smile and tears threatening to reveal themselves behind his dark eyes.
“There’s a part of me that’s still up there,” Tony motioned above, fighting against the need to crumble to pieces in his truth. He rubbed his palms across his outer thighs before pushing a hand up to his head and messing with his dark hair. He pointed at his temple before letting out an ironic laugh, “It’s still trapped in here—keeping me from being fully here and…”
“Hey,” Steve took two bold steps forward and enveloped Tony in his arms, working to bring them closer together as Tony felt himself crumbling to pieces all over again. Against his better judgement, Tony buried his face in Steve’s chest and found the tears falling harder than before. The weight of it all had given Tony reason to struggle for control, but he’d lost it when Steve’s protective arms surrounded him, engulfing him in the love he’d felt he’d been devoid of through the years. Although they hadn’t said it in what they felt for one another, the sensation of Steve’s soft lips against Tony’s temple had caused him to crash further, melting into the affection that his new lover offered when everything inside of Tony was spiraling out of control.
“I’m sorry,” Tony choked on the words, too stuck in his head to be embarrassed about what he’d become as there was something far worse brewing in his memory, etched into his subconscious and pulling him from the world that had welcomed him home as a hero, “I’ve tried to block it out, but…”
“Maybe that was your first mistake,” Steve’s thumb swept across Tony’s cheek to wipe at his tears, “Locking it away won’t make it disappear. As you told me before when I talked to you about losing Bucky, it will only fester inside of you until it tears everything you are apart and…”
“I’m stronger than this. I’ve been through worse. I’m sure that…” Tony fought against his own sense of vulnerability, hating that he was crashing so hard with Steve beside him discovering that Tony was fallible and far from the cool, collected suave playboy he’d presented himself to be.
“No one can say they’ve felt what you did when you were up there,” Steve’s words were soft and patient, his blue eyes filled with concern and a tenderness that Tony had seldom experienced growing up. As Steve’s soft fingertips swiped at Tony’s tears and caressed his cheek, Steve spoke in a smooth, controlled voice hoping to convey his show of support, “When I thought we lost you, it did something to me Tony. Made me think about the past and the present, about how I’d been holding on so tight to something that was no longer a part of who I am. I was so caught up in missing what once was that when I thought I was going to lose you, I was afraid I’d miss out on my one chance for something real in my life. After everything was said and done…”
“You weren’t looking to hook up on a dating app and find someone almost as fun as I am who could make you scream the way that I do,” Tony deflected with a hint of laughter and a flirty wink against his tears, “I hate to break it to you Cap, but I’m impossible to replace.”
“More like I wouldn’t want to try,” Steve cupped Tony’s face in his hands and stepped in closer, spilling his warmth across Tony’s cheeks before leaning in further to chase the saltiness of Tony’s tears away with his lips pressing against Tony’s damp skin and providing a soft comfort to Tony in his darkest hour, “There will never be anyone like you Tony Stark.”
“I could’ve told you that,” Tony laughed lightly angling his chin up to catch Steve’s lips in a soft, sensual kiss, slow and building much like it had been on the elevator ride earlier in the night up to Tony’s penthouse where they’d fallen into temptation, going at one another hard and reckless, filled with the hope for something pleasurable against the pain of the past in each other’s arms.
“I love you Tony,” Steve breathed into the kiss, holding nothing back as his fingers pushed into Tony’s damp, dark hair wanting to lock the importance of the moment between them from here on out.
“You…?” Tony’s eyes widened as he pulled back from the kiss, searching for the truth in Steve’s eyes as Tony was pressed up against the capsule his armor had been housed in.
With the soft indigo illumination working against Steve’s skin, there was something remarkable in the way Steve’s lips were curved up into a smile, in the way that his breath was mirroring Tony’s own in shallow, needy pants. Steve’s strong thumb was pushing over Tony’s bottom lip to comfort him with the words Tony hadn’t anticipated hearing after they’d played it loose with one another in their time together.
“I love you Tony,” Steve’s heartfelt admission fell freely from his lips all over again, opening the door to an intimacy they’d yet to explore with one another, “Maybe it took almost losing you for me to be brave enough to say that, but it’s true and I’ll be the first to tell you that when I found myself facing the idea of a future without you, it terrified me beyond words. I didn’t want to imagine a life without you in it. Not now. Not ever.”
“Steve I…” Tony choked on the words, finding it hard to breathe as his heart was racing wildly in his chest, pounding out of control at the very idea of having heard Steve’s truth. There was something comforting about hearing it, about experiencing the way it felt to finally have the one thing he’d been without for so very long and have it from Steve no doubt, “I love you too.”
“You do?” Steve’s grin expanded, revealing that same boyish charm Tony adored as the joy that radiated from Steve’s skin was one that Tony vowed that he would never forget. There was something so simple about saying it, about feeling it that it came naturally, but as Tony reached out to surround Steve with the arms that wanted to hold him, Tony found that he never wanted to lose sight of this memory.
“More than you can imagine,” Tony promised kissing Steve again in the hopes that this could lock out the demons, that this could somehow pull Tony from the darkness and the fear of the unknown to the welcome road ahead of him in being open to express the things he’d been fighting to sort out about where he and Steve were headed with one another.
The need to be close to Steve was so strong that it was no surprise that Tony was kissing him harder than before, wishing somehow that the nightmares hadn’t stolen him from the warmth of his bed where he and Steve were naked together and exploring the more physical aspects of their relationship with one another in plush comfort. However, not one to be deterred in his explorations Tony was reaching out to pull on the back of Steve’s modest white t-shirt, wrenching it up over his spine as Steve’s roaming fingers were pushing over Tony’s frayed jeans to curl over his hip and encourage Tony’s leg to surround his thick, powerful thigh.
“So, what are we doing to do about it?” Steve questioned in a low, rumble of a breath, nipping down at Tony’s bottom lip and fueling the fire between them. Without another word, Steve hoisted Tony up in his arms pressing Tony up higher against the glass with Tony’s legs wrapped around Steve’s hips, squeezing him closer as their kisses grew in intensity.
Warmth filled Tony’s body, spiraling out from his abdomen, out across his chest, up over his shoulders and into his limbs as his legs squeezed harder around Steve’s strong torso. His fingers were pushing through Steve’s soft blonde hair wanting to imprint the moment into all the places where the tortures of his mind had taken control, working to keep Tony from the freedom to find love and embrace it in his life after years of isolation. With Steve’s love he felt strong, powerful in ways that his fears had wanted to overrule him, but in Steve’s kisses Tony found solace and the strength to lose himself to affection and the promise of what if between them.
“Mmm…Tony,” Steve’s lips pushed over the dip between Tony’s neck and shoulder, warming him in other more prominent places.
“That’s it,” Tony arched his head back, pushing up against the glass and grinding his hips towards Steve, who’d taken a forward step in bracing Tony up against the glass, squeezed between the strength of Steve’s chest and the cool casing around Tony’s armor, so very ready to be driven to desire all over again. However, with Steve’s hips pushing forward there was a soft beeping sound that caused Tony to break away from their kiss.
“What the…?” Steve questioned as the beeping sound was followed up with a blinking of lights beneath the glass where it was clear that the two had knocked the capsule’s controls in their movements associated with their lip lock. In the seconds that followed the glass that contained the armor pushed away revealing the suit, still illuminated by the indigo light up above as Steve stepped back and carried Tony with him in his movement, “Did we…?”
“Yeah, we did,” Tony replied feeling his face grow hot as he wondered if his bottom rocking against the surface had managed to open the capsule. Wiggling in Steve’s arms, Tony attempted to slide down again before turning to face the armor with a new determination in his step, “but I can just close it right now and we can get back to where we were with…”
“What’s that?” Steve questioned stepping up behind Tony, still wanting to keep the connection going strong between them as Tony reached out to the controls.
“What’s what?” Tony began to fumble with the buttons preparing to close the glass again when Steve was pointing to a golden circular object on the center of the armor, just above where Tony’s abdomen would’ve been housed.
“That,” Steve leaned in over Tony’s shoulder, stretching his fingers out and pointing towards the shining, shimmering object affixed to the armor, “It looks like…”
“A flower or rather a flower bud of sorts,” Tony turned his focus away from the controls and sought to take a closer look at the thing that had affixed to his armor. At the time Tony returned he hadn’t noticed it, hadn’t really wanted to do anything, but get out of the muck and the dirt, away from the city debris and the memory of feeling trapped in space. Now, however, there was something about the soft illumination of the pod like bud on his armor as it sparkled and shimmered beneath the indigo lighting. It felt otherworldly leaving Tony to remember the darkness, knowing that this felt nothing like the endless abyss he’d been sucked into. This felt like something bright and hopeful, a sign of life in the void he’d been trapped in after it had hitched a ride back to earth on him on the way down.
“It’s beautiful,” Steve almost appeared to be mesmerized by what he’d discovered, poking his fingers out towards the edge of the bud before Tony gripped Steve’s wrist to prevent him from touching it.
“Don’t,” Tony instructed behind a sharp warning, “If it followed me back here, then there’s no telling what it could be.”
“It looks like a flower,” Steve replied with a new curiosity behind his words, “Like something that maybe you picked up in the city and…”
“A flower in Manhattan in the center of the city after an alien attack? Have you ever seen a flower like that in the city before?” Tony’s voice was etched with skepticism.
“Well, no, but…” Steve struggled to answer as Tony looked around the lab, prepared to work to find a tool for the flower’s extraction and something to keep it housed in before it proved to be problematic.
“If this guy decided to hitch a ride with me from up there, then maybe we should take a closer look at it,” Tony suggested deciding that once he ran some tests on it, he’d be able to get a better idea of what followed him home from the great beyond, but before he could collect the glass jar and the tweezer-like tool to pull it from his armor, Tony heard a crackling sound from behind him where Steve still stood by the armor.
“Tony, it looks like it’s…” Steve’s words were followed up with a small explosion prompting Tony to turn around and discover a yellow fusion of color and miniscule specs pushing out into the air beyond the armor, swirling around in vivid, shimmering movements pouring all around Steve, who’d tried to move away, but was left in the thick of the flower’s explosive blast.
“Steve,” Tony pushed forward pausing only long enough to reach for Bruce’s lab coat draped over the back of the chair to prevent himself from being covered by the flower’s burst of explosive color. In doing so, Tony held the coat up as a barrier on his right while looking to a now golden-dusted Steve before him, “Are you alright? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Steve started to wipe at his cheek where the golden sparkles brought a soft illumination to his skin, “it just started pulsating and…”
“We need to get it off you,” Tony raised the sleeve of Bruce’s jacket up to Steve’s face, hoping to help Steve dust some of it off before Steve’s strong arm was curling around Tony’s waist to pull Tony flush in against his chest.
“Or maybe you should just work to get me off,” Steve replied in an uncharacteristically lewd breath of movement accompanied by his long fingers pushing over Tony’s bottom to pull him in closer.
“Steve, we have no idea what this could be or why it…” Tony’s words came to a screeching halt as he was flat against Steve’s hard lines feeling the immediate evidence of Steve’s arousal against his hip. There was something about the thin fabric of Steve’s pajamas that revealed Steve hadn’t bothered to put his underwear back on in his search for Tony in the lab, but rather Steve rushed to find his lover with worry fresh on his mind.
“Mmm…doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Steve questioned sucking down hard on Tony’s neck and squeezing at Tony’s bottom before pulling Tony in closer. In doing so, Steve rotated his hips, rubbing his length across Tony’s thigh before smacking his lips together and moaning, “Because right now all I can think about is you and me, naked together doing what we were planning on before we opened this thing and…”
“That’s a very nice thought, but…” Tony moaned as Steve’s lips charted a path across his skin, working up to bring Tony’s earlobe between his lips and between his teeth. A moment later, Steve sucked down hard, his fingers kneading at Tony’s bottom and pushing at the top of Tony’s weathered jeans.
“Come on sweet thing. Don’t make me beg. You know how much I like it when you give me free reign to play with that beautiful body of yours,” Steve practically whined as his lips pushed over Tony’s pulse point, “We both know that we were thinking about it before this thing opened and…”
“Thinking about it sure, but…” Tony stopped short when suddenly his body was filled with warmth. In all the places where he’d touched Steve there was something hot and urgent that pushed over his skin, working through the fabric of Tony’s t-shirt and over his body. He raised his chin up and caught the way Steve’s pupils were dilated, the way Steve was licking his lips and moaning like getting naked with Tony was all he could think about. Then again with the way Steve’s fingers were wrenching at the back of Tony’s jeans practically tearing them down over his body, Tony was pretty sure that’s exactly where Steve’s brain was at. Not that Tony wasn’t interested, but there was something behind Steve’s rough pawing that brought Tony’s focus back to the golden dust over the side of Steve’s cheek, “Steve wait…”
“What?” Steve whined in protest, refusing to loosen his grip as Tony was caged within his arms.
“The flower—the powder. I think it’s an…” Tony looked to the glass jar within his grip noting that some of the powder had been cast across the top of it. With all the strength he could muster up, Tony detangled himself from Steve’s warm arms and moved across the lab to push the jar under one of his machines for analysis, “J, what can you tell me here?”
“Sir, I’m afraid that the powder is one that’s associated with…” JARVIS’s words were lost when Steve was closing in behind Tony, reaching out to bring his arms up underneath Tony’s t-shirt to draw it up over his abdomen. Steve’s warm, skilled touch followed the path of Tony’s exposed skin soon after as Steve was groping Tony’s abdomen and kissing over Tony’s neck, grinding his hips back against Tony’s bottom and moaning in between sucking down on Tony’s flesh.
“With what?” Tony questioned as his head was dropping back against Steve’s shoulder, his body warming up to Steve’s sudden eagerness knowing that some part of him should be focused on the flower, on the analysis of what had transpired, but with Steve touching him, working his magic touch over Tony’s body, Tony found that he was already so turned on. Tony pushed his bottom back against Steve, his lips parting as a moan rolled over the tip of his tongue. He reached down to collect Steve’s right hand in his, pushing Steve’s palm down over the center of his jeans and encouraging Steve to palm him through the fabric. Closing his eyes, Tony could see himself surrounded by color, painted in shades of gold and amber, floating above the clouds as everything inside of him was screaming out with warmth, filled by an impossible, glorious heat as Steve was rocking into him, grinding his body against Tony’s still jean-covered bottom, and murmuring soft promises of all the dirty things he wanted to do to Tony.
“In simple terms Sir it’s what you would call a sex pollen where if Captain Rogers doesn’t…” JARVIS started to explain as Steve was sucking down hard on Tony’s neck and working his fingers over the button on Tony’s jeans, hoping to reach inside and pick up where they’d left off before the interruption.
“I brought a sex pollen back with me?” Tony practically choked on the words, unable to register anything beyond the feel of Steve’s fingers pushing inside his jeans and surrounding his flesh, working to bring Tony back to a heightened state of arousal behind half-lidded eyes and a soft, rumble of desire building in the back of his throat, “As in we fuck or…”
“Die generally yes Sir, but with this particular strain, it would appear that…” JARVIS continued to explain, but everything he said felt like background noise as Tony twisted around in Steve’s arms, claiming Steve’s lips in a hot, explosive kiss, ready to delve into the unknown in ways he hadn’t been entirely prepared for.
“We probably need to get into the shower…” Tony managed to get out. His head was filled with temptation, his body warming up to the touch, rising higher to collect Steve’s lips in kiss after frantic kiss with Tony’s jeans pushed down over his thighs and Steve’s fingers palming over his flesh in ways that Tony never realized felt so incredibly good before.
“I’d rather get inside of you,” Steve’s bold declaration was met by the heat of his tongue pushing down upon Tony’s, meeting Tony in a quick, darting thrust before Steve’s fingers were tangling through Tony’s damp hair, wrenching his head back and working to nibble on Tony’s neck in sharp, pinching bites before sucking down on the places where he’d left a soft sting. Steve’s other hand was rubbing over Tony’s rounded bottom, petting him roughly and working to part his flesh before Steve was suddenly on his knees, wrenching Tony’s pants down further and dragging his tongue over the length of Tony’s arousal.
“Fuck,” Tony cursed gripping Steve’s hair, tangling it tight within his fingers and working to remember what it was they were talking about before the need to consume each other seemed to be the only thought Tony could surround himself with, “J, what were we…?”
“The showers Sir. It would be best if you and Captain Rogers were able to…” JARVIS interjected once again but much like before his words were lost with the damp slide of Steve’s lips around Tony’s length, pulling him in deeper as they were surrounded by a haze of golden glow, carried away by the warmth of the magic the mischievous little flower had poured out around them in its eruption.
“Uh huh…” Tony smacked his lips together, running his fingers across the expanse of Steve’s shoulders, reaching out across his spine, and bringing with the touch the thin material of Steve’s modest white t-shirt, up over his shoulder and hooked over the back of his head until Steve pulled back and discarded it.
“You taste like heaven Tony,” Steve licked his lips, locking in the taste of Tony on his tongue once again before his fingers curled around Tony’s length, dragging Tony back in for another searching sweep of tongue and soft suctioning over Tony’s body.
Steve began guiding Tony far from the darkness to warmth and light, surrounded by golden bliss in a whirlwind of pleasure carried away to temptation with Steve working his fingers over his own distended flesh working in tandem to bring Tony to the heavens while the soft sounds of Steve’s fingers over his own skin heightened Tony’s awareness of what was happening. Tony’s knees buckled and suddenly Steve’s arms were around him, dragging Tony in closer, encouraging Tony to thrust in deeper, to allow Steve to taste him, to carry Tony to a place where his fears were far from his mind, replaced be a more primitive need for completion. A need to be consumed and…
“Wait,” Tony panted as he pulled at Steve’s blonde hair as a touch of reality brought him back to what was happening, searching through the golden glittery haze around him, “Steve the flower is making us…”
“We were going to do this before the flower,” Steve reminded him with a soft pinch of teeth just below Tony’s navel, serving as a reminder of the hunger the gold dust had resonated deep within Tony’s lungs, filling him with need and urgency, fighting against the desire to fill Steve’s mouth again with his own aching cock in his urgency.
“Right,” Tony licked his lips again, fighting to peel away the last of his clothing as he began kicking out of his pants, not quite sure if it was to remove the pollen or the barriers between them. It didn’t quite matter as Steve was once again taking him in, swallowing him down. Tony’s hips were pushing forward, his body coiling into a tight cluster of nerves and longing, leaving him begging for more with knees buckling and Steve still holding on tight, working Tony closer to that beautiful finish line where lust and need were all he could focus on—where he was no longer a man filled with anxiety and fear, but rather one consumed by life and the promise of making love without anything else to fill his thoughts.
“C’mon Tony,” Steve’s words hummed against Tony’s flesh, breaking down the walls between them.
Steve was still palming his ass, pushing Tony closer to the point of no return until somewhere Tony was surrounded by warmth, carried away by the golden glow to bliss in the warmth of Steve’s mouth in sharp, jerking movements. Tony’s fingers curled deeper into Steve’s shoulders, body trembling as he pumped harder, finding that in his release he was still hard and aching, unable to find relief in the bliss his orgasm had pulled from his body.
Instead, Tony was whimpering and sobbing, breaking into an overwhelming awareness of his every synapse. He could almost taste the tingling on his skin, could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips as his body was still so very wound up, ready to be claimed by Steve, who was now pushing up off his knees and dragging Tony over to the far end of the lab where Tony had his couch setup for days he’d forgotten to return to his penthouse. It was strong and sturdy, yet soft to the touch as Tony was suddenly on his knees, propped up between the cushions with Steve behind him, kissing his spine, working his lips and tongue over Tony’s back while still jerking himself off. It was a sound that Tony vowed he’d never forget. His head dropped forward over the back of the couch to immerse himself in sensation, to allow it to flow through his body with the pumping of his heart working in time with Steve’s kisses all over him. Tony was bowled over by sensation with Steve’s hands touching places that Tony was convinced never felt more divine than they did until Steve was doting on him, providing Tony with something more than the hurt and the empty feeling of despair.
“Steve,” Tony reached out behind him, tangling his fingers in Steve’s hair as Steve’s teeth tank into Tony’s bottom, biting down with just enough pressure to send Tony to a low whine.
Carried away by bliss Tony began pushing out further and spreading his legs wider for Steve to open Tony up further to his explorations. Sensing Steve’s urgency, Tony arched back further presenting himself to his new lover as the startling swipe of Steve’s talented tongue over Tony’s opening caused Tony to wiggle and twist, surprised by Steve’s sudden burst of adventure in their time together. Not that Tony could complain given the way it made him feel, but it was far from that he’d anticipated. Bliss coiled inside of Tony as Steve was kissing him again, taking his time and delivering Tony to the heavens with the roll of his tongue against Tony’s sensitive flesh, bringing with the warm, damp sensation a new experience between them that Tony had been convinced early on that someone as upstanding and proper as Steve wouldn’t have committed to, yet now with the influence of the pollen in the air around them, Steve was frantic in his efforts. He continued licking and tasting Tony, working the tip of his tongue inside and encouraging Tony to push back and whimper, to experience what it was like to be filled by Steve in ways beyond what they’d explored in each other’s arms. Reaching down to push his fingers through Steve’s hair, Tony arched his head back pushing his bottom up higher and watching as Steve’s strong hands nudged him open wider, allowing for the swipe over his tongue to have Tony crying out and begging, rolling back harder and permitting Steve to please him in ways that Tony hoped like hell weren’t only because of the pollen’s influence.
With everything inside of him, Tony wanted to close his eyes and focus on sensation, to get lost in what it meant to feel and experience everything that Steve was offering, but that felt too selfish and distanced. Instead he wanted to revel in observing Steve’s warmth between Tony’s full, rounded flesh with his nose nuzzling Tony’s skin, delving into his depths with his talented tongue, curling into a place where Tony was howling with delight, hooking his fingers into the back of the couch and pushing harder against Steve’s efforts wanting him in deeper, to be filled by Steve’s kisses knowing that whatever this was it could never be enough. It wouldn’t be enough until suddenly Tony felt the weight of Steve behind him, causing the cushions on the couch to buckle under Steve’s weight with them kneeling together, surrounded by the throw pillows and the promise of temptation.
“Tony,” Steve practically growled his name, his skin flushed with urgency, body hard and aching as Tony’s head fell forward into the back of the couch again. Steve was biting into Tony’s shoulder, pinching deep into his skin before his arm surrounded Tony’s abdomen, wrenching Tony back closer to where Steve’s now leaking cock was poking at Tony’s opening, fighting to gain access as the last slip of reason filled Tony’s brain serving as a reminder of how to make things smoother between them.
“Top drawer,” Tony managed to moan as Steve seemed to snap out of his lust-filled haze long enough to do as instructed, reaching within, and pulling out the bottle that Tony was convinced would pave the way to their return to each other in a more pleasurable fashion.
After that small request, Tony couldn’t be sure what followed until he was stretched out over the back of the couch feeling Steve’s thickness inside of him, pushing in deeper and causing Tony to cry out, stretched and filled by the man he’d come to love in their time together. With each thrust, Steve was spread out over him, reaching out across the back of the couch to take Tony’s fingers in his linking them together in a strong, solid squeeze. Together they were moving in quick, short bursts, coming together with the smacking of flesh on flesh, united in ways that served to remind Tony he was still alive, still here and feeling the proof of his mortality in the way that Steve’s body inside of him sent Tony to a different kind of paradise. In the cluster of chaos, his body was alive with sensation, aware of each place where they were connected, of every possessive movement Steve made across his skin, holding Tony’s abdomen, working over Tony’s chest below his arc creator until Steve’s fingers were clasping around the base of Tony’s throat, squeezing tight enough to cause Tony to gasp, but never to steal his breath as there was something in Steve’s need, in his hunger, in the way their bodies moved together that pushed Tony past the point of rationality, forever caged in his need for Steve Rogers. Pleasure built and expanded, rising higher until Steve’s hand was pushing over Tony’s cock, pumping over Tony’s aching flesh, and leaving no mistake about the journey they were about to take with one another.
“I love you,” Steve hotly repeated again in and again over the back of Tony’s neck, breathing harder into his ear until finally together they were chasing the stars, carried away to a new kind of paradise in each other’s arm far beyond reason or pain, but rather lost in a sea of pleasure and bliss not meant for those on Earth who hadn’t been pushed to the edge of forever and trapped in a dark world underneath the stars.
Hours later Tony collapsed on the couch, damp and spent by the final lingering effects of the flower’s influence that JARVIS explained later wouldn’t have killed them, but had worked a number on Tony and Steve’s libido leading up to their final round of love making in the shower where they’d both taken the time to clean up under the comforting spray, working to ensure every last bit of the pollen had been wiped clean from their skin. They’d even taken extra care after the shower in brushing their teeth and a few other basic care rituals to ensure that they were safe and distanced from the flower’s effects on them. It was in the quiet aftermath they’d fallen into comfortable silence. They were still naked and spent by their passion after they’d returned to the couch where Steve was stretched out beneath Tony after JARVIS had given the lab an all clear in citing the flower’s potency had worn off after JARVIS had instructed the other bots in the lab to resume clean up when Steve and Tony were in the shower. Once JARVIS had given them the all-clear, Tony and Steve were back to each other as they should be aligned together in the quiet illumination around them, facing the aftermath of the unexpected in their tender embrace.
“That was…” Tony worked to break the silence between them as there were so many things still left unsaid between them.
“An out of this world experience,” Steve laughed kissing the top of Tony’s head before curling his arm around Tony tighter than before, “Something I’ll be sure not to forget no matter where life takes us from here.”
“So, then you’re not…?” Tony almost hated to ask as he’d finally taken the time to comprehend what had driven them into each other’s arms under the flower’s influence.
“Regretting this?” Steve’s grin expanded and his warm fingers traced over the tip in Tony’s spine, “Not by a long shot. I mean I probably could’ve kept going a little bit longer, but with you getting tired like that…”
“I’m not tired,” Tony lied behind a small yawn, fighting to suppress the way that all the delicious sex between them had rendered him a pool of wobbly limbs and allover warmth in his ease over Steve’s broad chest, “I’m just taking a pause for…”
“It’s okay to admit you’re human Tony,” Steve’s kiss against his temple served as a reminder of where they were together and how the experience that they shared was one that went without explanation. It was something that they’d decided to monitor with JARVIS keeping a watch over them, but one that they’d opted to keep between them once the blaze of temptation had tapered off to a slow simmer of connection in each other’s arms.
“That’s hard for someone like me to do,” Tony divulged breaking away from his ease to admit to the vulnerability he’d felt in facing his own mortality, “I’m not used to being in a situation that I can’t work my way out of—in being in a place where I can’t control the outcome and yet…”
“Here we are,” Steve whispered warmth across Tony’s skin making him more at ease in the outcome of their time together, “Still alive. Still together.”
“Hoping that we won’t regret this in the morning,” Tony sighed closing his eyes tighter and snuggling in deeper against Steve’s chest as so many thoughts were rushing through his mind, drawing Tony to those places where he’d feared his serenity would slip away.
“We won’t,” Steve assured him behind a tired smile, “because I meant what I said before Tony. A world without you in it is one where I don’t want to be. Not now. Not ever. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Tony practically purred feeling the need to snuggle in closer, to absorb Steve’s strength around him knowing that from here on out Tony wouldn’t be going it alone with love in his life offering him a calm after the raging storm of terror had filled his heart and opened him up to fears he hadn’t been prepared for. Tony was certain he was far from combating them all, but with Steve’s strong arms around him, Tony felt the hope that maybe just maybe he had a shot at winning a war against the darkness raging in his heart as the promise of a future with Steve proved to be just enough to give him reason to keep fighting the battle, hoping for another day to explore the love they’d found in each other’s arms.