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If Kashuu paid too much attention to the monotonous tick of the grandfather clock in his room, he would definitely go completely and utterly crazy. It was such a bothersome instrument that only counted down another second wasted, another second closer to this day, and it was simply just the most grating noise after being stuck with it for ten whole years.
Once, after a particularly long-winded rant about how he was going to stab the clock’s face to shards, Kashuu watched Yasusada go ahead and defenestrate the thing himself right out his third-story window. Tossed it right out, as if it weighed nothing and the task was the simplest solution in the world. Whether it was to save Kashuu the trouble or to shut him up, Kashuu didn’t know, but either way Okita hadn’t been happy when he found out about it. Kashuu had just been surprised.
Ever since they were children, Yasusada had nary done a thing that Okita would disapprove of. This was probably because Yasusada practically worshiped the man, and Kashuu supposed he had every reason to. Back when things had been grim for the both of them - when they were but little wisps of children that wandered aimlessly and unloved in the shadows - it had been Okita who found them shortly after the golden light had floated into their bodies like drifting feathers. Okita had taken them into his mansion home, and had cared for them and loved them until their hearts were full. He’d saved them.
(Kashuu thought he knew the meaning of the word back then. "Saved". He’d only come to learn that such a word was irrelevant to him, to all of them.)
By nature, Yasusada was pretty distrustful. But over time, he’d greatly opened up to Okita, and did everything he could to be someone their master could rely on. Kashuu was satisfied so long as he was loved by the both of them.
Staying in an isolated tower and unallowed to roam the world freely was the price to pay for this love.
“Yasusada isn’t staying with me?” Kashuu asked.
Okita had shown him his new room for the first time when Kashuu and Yasusada were both around thirteen. The tower itself was rather stout, leaving plenty of room - more than just one person should have. Yet there was only one bed, one sofa, one dresser - and only one window. Kashuu remembered the other two floors, one a kitchen and the other a bathing room. The tower was - suspiciously now that he thought of it - full of every necessity, as if there was no reason to leave.
Silent apologies creased at Okita’s brow. “No, I’m afraid not. Starting today, Yasusada will be with me more often, so that I may start showing him the way to be the head of this household.”
Kashuu only had a vague idea of what that meant. In the years they’d been together with Okita, he and Yasusada gained much knowledge about the world they lived in. For instance, the golden light that had entered Yasusada’s body: they had been what determined him to be the next overseer of a place called “the Abyss” - a realm apart from their own yet still the same, like a “core,” where memories and light resided.
He’d also learned the fact that the reason he was hated because of his red eyes was no accident. His parents dying, horror and strife following him at every corner of his life like a plague, being called a devil child - all of it had to do with the fact that he wasn’t human.
To be fair, neither were Yasusada or Okita or anyone else in their household (all of whom were related only by the golden light coming to them rather than blood running through their veins, which was why inheritance by the normal means was not relevant for their household and why Yasusada was a more than suitable candidate to be head).
But Kashuu was something else. He was, as he came to know it, something “irregular,” as if he weren’t supposed to exist in the first place. He supposed then, that the title “Child of Misfortune” he heard tossed disdainfully around at him held some merit to it. It was why he was so unloved all his life. More than once, he thought about clawing his own eyes out. Funnily enough, it was never the inevitable pain that would stop him from doing it, but the fact that someone with scarred, empty sockets could never be found beautiful and worthy of love.
Here though, in this “inner world” of inhumans and magic, Kashuu’s red eyes weren’t seen as something of ill omen. He wasn’t hated or ostracized here.
Or so he thought.
He frowned up at Okita. “And me?”
Okita bent down on one knee, holding Kashuu’s biceps. “You,” he began softly, “have to remain here. From now on, you are not permitted to leave this tower. You’re getting older, and your powers are getting - more troublesome. After the last incident with you going into the Abyss without permission--”
“But I didn’t do anything,” Kashuu said. He’d said it a hundred times before. He didn’t know much himself how or why he went to that other dimension. On the other side, it had been empty except for pure, beautiful light. Still, in that dazzling world...Kashuu could’ve sworn he’d heard the voice of someone who was lonely. Someone who, like him, craved to be adored.
Okita breathed patiently. “Please understand. This is the way things must be.”
The way things must be. Yes. Kashuu understood completely. Even here, he was the “irregular,” the “unwanted,” the “broken one”. That was just how it was for the one born with red eyes, wasn’t it? No matter what…
Oh. But no matter what, he had one solid solace in this world. And so he looked over at Yasusada for help.
Yasusada frowned back at him, pain in his eyes. His usually calm expression was riddled with conflict, and Kashuu didn’t know what he could possibly be battling against when they were being asked to be separated, when Kashuu was going to be left alone, cast aside - again.
Finally, he glanced down. “I’ll come visit you every day,” he said.
And that was that.
Kashuu stared their retreating backs with wide eyes. He scrambled to his only window in his tower, feeling the world speed up miles in front of him, watching them disappear back into the mansion.
He pressed his fingertip to the side of his eye, putting pressure on it so that his fingernail dig into the crevice. It’d be so easy... But Kashuu closed his eyes and let out a shuddered breath. This is the way things must be. From the start, he was born with a singular reason: for his existence not to interfere with others’.
This is the way things must be...
“Hey hey, she’s so cute, riiiight~?”
“She’s…” Yasusada’s lips twisted slightly in barely-masked displeasure as he stared at Kashuu’s Chain.
Okita had given him permission at last to make a Contract with a Chain - one of the fairytale beasts that came from the Abyss - since their whole “family” was allowed one for protection purposes. Okita himself had five of the most powerful ones, all of them large with abysmal-black feathers decorating their wings. Two of these, by two of the five ceremonies of succession to become new head of the household, had been given to Yasusada - the Raven and, as if this afternoon, the Owl.
As for Kashuu, he was quite fond of his own little “pet” that he decided to form a Contract with. He held his hand out to her, and in a shift of shadow she warped over and tilted her head for affection. Loud purrs of approval reverated in her amorphous form.
“She’s juuuust like a normal kitty~”
Yasusada continued to make a face, and Kashuu took it in gleefully. For one reason or another, Yasusada had a large disdain for cats, always muttering about stabbing them with the uchigatana Okita had given him. So maybe it was a bit cruel for Kashuu to purposefully Contract with a kind of Chain like the Cheshire Cat, but so was Yasusada leaving him in this tower.
Even though he promised to visit Kashuu every day, and even to sneak him out to visit town, Kashuu couldn’t help but notice those days getting less and less frequent. On the one hand, Kashuu quite understood why Yasusada was busy, and why his mind had been occupied. But on the other, seeing Yasusada move further and further away from him stirred an inexplicable and complicated emotion in his heart.
“Does she need to be out right now?” Yasusada said flatly, eyeing her with a glare.
“Hey, don’t be so violent, you know? I need someone here to keep me company.” He pouted, but in the end decided to be nice and dismiss his Chain away. And in a swirl of pitch-black shadow, she disappeared.
With Cheshire out of the way, Yasusada finally came closer, and came to sit down next to Kashuu on the sofa. His hands folded neatly on his lap while Kashuu lounged back and had his thighs crossed.
“So what about you, Yasusada? I’m not allowed to go to any of your ceremonies except the last one, so I’ve never seen you or Okita’s Chains. What are they like, these legendary Five Black-Winged Chains?”
“Why do you always talk so familiarly? I’ve told you, you must address him by Lord Okita.”
With a dismissive wave of his hand, Kashuu sighed. “You know, you’ve said that thing for like, over ten years now. This is just how I talk, you should get used to it by now. I don’t worship Okita like you do.” He pressed his cheek against his shoulder, batting his eyes up at Yasusada. “So can I see your Chains too?”
“The Chains aren’t toys, Kashuu. Unless you’re about to die, then there’s no reason to call out for their power.” Midway through his sentence, Yasusada seemed to realize that what he was saying was a mistake. It was in the widening of his eyes, the momentary downward tug of his lips.
Kashuu’s, meanwhile, curved up in a smile. “Is that how it works?”
“Kashuu, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Well, it’s just funny, Yasusada, that you say that. Because I know when I’m going to die, a Chain won’t appear to save me--”
“Kashuu, don’t--”
“--but to condemn me, right?” Kashuu had gotten closer between every other word, and now his hand had danced upon Yasusada’s chest. His smile felt a bit more crooked at the end of that, and he saw it reflected in the clear blue of Yasusada’s eyes. There wasn’t any light or life in them, even when he finally returned Kashuu’s stare.
Then, softly, his hand inched over to Kashuu’s, and held it. Surprised, Kashuu looked at their linked fingers.
“Horikawa and the others are going into town today to celebrate the completion of the ceremony.”
“My, I suppose those rites of passage really are important in this family, huh?”
Yasusada ignored the question. “Since it’ll be all of us, why don’t you come too?”
The sudden shift in subject jarred Kashuu slightly, but at the very mention of being able to go outside, he perked up. But cautiously, he asked, “Is it...fine with Okita?”
Yasusada nodded. “There’s a festival going on, which is why everyone wants to go. It’ll be dark enough that no one should be able to see your eyes.” Licking his lips, he glanced down then back up to squarely meet Kashuu’s eyes. “I think it would be fun for all of us.”
The smile on Kashuu’s lips faltered, and he looked away in consideration. True, while he’d been told that he had to stay in his tower, there were times when Kashuu had gone out. Sometimes it was without permission and sometimes it was with it. While being stuck here after years of knowing darkness and venomous stares thrown his way, the outside world had started to become a dangerous yet alluring place for him. He feared the people in it, but he also wanted to immerse himself in it simply because he was not allowed to have it.
And Kashuu was always wanting.
So finally, he grinned, holding both of Yasusada’s hands as he stood up. “Yeah! Let’s go, let’s go! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the others too. Ah, I’ll have to change into something lovely, and brush my hair… Goodness, Yasusada, you can’t just pile this on me last minute! But I suppose I shouldn’t complain.” He hummed, breaking away to start rummaging through his drawers and dresser.
Instead of making a snarky remark, Yasusada only looked on with a small smile. “Alright. Let’s go tell the others then and we’ll get a carriage going.”
In the middle of deciding between two waistcoats, Kashuu stopped to hum in consideration. “Hmm… Yeah, but wouldn’t it be a lot faster if you just summoned one of your Chains to fly us there?”
Yasusada lightly slapped the back of Kashuu’s legs with his uchigatana’s sheath. “I told you, that’s not how it works, idiot.”
When Kashuu and Yasusada first entered Okita’s mansion, they were very aware that he was an important man from an important household.
There had been times out on the streets when they got by for a few weeks selling themselves to the fancy of noble folk, as if like trinkets. During those days in between shivering in alleyways, Kashuu and Yasusada pretended to laugh (or quiver, depending on their giver’s tastes, and this was never faked) as they momentarily got to be within that world of sparkling chandeliers and velvet carpets. They had assumed Okita was in this same sphere of men.
But others would come visit the household, full of its secret doors and bloody traditions and inhuman members that had otherwordly beasts for shadows. Maybe that was all a part of their allure. In truth, no one in the household looked any different from a normal human. But Okita’s existence alone drew others of the noble sphere to him, wanting to catch his favor. Whether it was the power or the mysterious lore of the family, the humans came like moths to a flame, attracted.
And so it was that sometimes Okita would visit his room, Yasusada in tow, and invite Kashuu down to the parties being held in the mansion. Private socials were something Kashuu couldn’t attend. The proximity was too close, and there was too high a chance someone would see Kashuu’s red eyes. But parties meant movement and laughter and music. And for a night, Kashuu was able to live in the world again.
“This is pointless. People still stare at you.”
Kashuu glanced over at Izumi no Kami, the corners of his lips tugging up gracefully. “Are you calling me beautiful?” he asked. His fingers danced up the length of the bicep beside him.
Although clearly annoyed, Izumi no Kami didn’t jerk his arm back. As boisterous as he could be, his voice often echoing down the halls (as Yasusada would complain), even Izumi no Kami had some amount of decorum in him, and he didn’t want to cause a scene when so many pairs of eyes glanced their way.
“What I’m calling you,” he retorted in a huff, “is someone who still stands out.”
“I’m still not seeing how you’re not complimenting me.” Kashuu continued to smile. Of course he knew Izumi no Kami was making a remark about his red eyes, but why give in to the bait? The insinuation had quickly lost its weight ten years ago.
A large hand clapped down on each of their shoulders, Nagasone’s wide, playful grin beaming down at them. “It was a compliment. Even across the room, you attract attention. Must be because of how pretty you are.”
“Thank you, Nagasone,” Kashuu sang. Izumi no Kami rolled his eyes and walked off, his long ponytail swaying behind him. Not too far behind him, Horikawa trailed along.
Kashuu wondered where Yasusada was, but at the same time he knew he needn’t have bothered. Of course he was with Okita somewhere, acting as both assistant and bodyguard. Yasusada had spent afternoons before reading up on guests that were to visit, and as such, Kashuu knew all the gossip and dirty secrets of many of the people here.
At any rate, if Yasusada was with Okita, then Kashuu probably couldn’t seek either of them out. Too much attention was on him as it was without him clinging to the side of the host of the party. Kashuu twirled the end of his ponytail around his finger, looking over at the guests in consideration. Mingling was, of course, pointless. Not only to remain more or less undetected, but also because any talk with anyone would be superficial. There was no one Kashuu could genuinely get to know or anything as stupid as that.
He glanced over at the large, ornate clock hung on one of the walls, its second hand shuddering down, down, down…
Yes. Making conversation or acquaintances was pointless. He didn’t - have the time for that.
Still, opportunities to be out didn’t come by very often, so if Yasusada was off-limits then there were other ways to be entertained. And judging by the full ballroom, Kashuu had many options that night. That suited him well. Kashuu was always wanting, and if his entertainment couldn’t provide what was lacking then he’d get bored and move on to the next.
High society was all about games, but the rules were based on politics and smoke and mirrors. Kashuu was very straightforward, and played an entirely different game. These people were worlds away from him.
He was the one at a disadvantage, but after years of impatience and wanting and running out of time, there was no longer any room to feel sorry for himself. It was as Okita always said, “This is the way things must be.” Kashuu couldn’t question it, and recognizing his position interestingly enough put him in a mentality of power. There was only living for himself.
(Oh, there was that Ichigo Hitofuri, the one with all those younger siblings. Having such a large family would normally make one bitter and impatient, but Ichigo continued to foster a nurturing heart and eyes that gave only loving attention. That was why Kashuu was rather fond of him - he was such a yes man and never denied Kashuu anything.
“Say you love me,” he’d told him during one party behind the thick red velvet curtains.
Ichigo’s expression was at first unsure, but then he must’ve seen something in Kashuu that was valuable of love - but Ichigo always saw the worst in people and still managed to love it. And so he smiled in the face of that distortion drowning in red eyes, tucking Kashuu’s hair behind his ear.
“You’re worth loving. I love you.”
How he read it all, Kashuu had no clue, but it was an ability to be simultaneously feared and sought after to be completely indulged in.
That day Kashuu drink in all manner of words like that with desperation. How Ichigo wasn’t already a hollow shell from spilling these words, he didn’t know, but it still made Kashuu shiver remembering that sweetness murmured inches from his lips.)
By now, some knew of that one ward of Okita’s that drew others into the shadows for conversation - or more. Yasusada would relay the gossip to him in a flat voice and frustrated frown (and once, Kashuu had teased Yasusada, asking if he was jealous, to which he’d only received bruises on his hips, slick thighs, and a cocky smile on his red lips).
Hey Yasusada, remember when it was just me and you? Kashuu glanced up. Saw the blue of Yasusada’s clothing and what he could swear were the shadows of his Chains flying over his back, now numbering four with the editions of the Dodo and the Gryphon.
The fifth and last ceremony would be soon.
When did you get so far away from me?
But Kashuu blinked, trying to perk up in front of their guests. He moved toward Ichigo Hitofuri with a smile.
There was no time to brood.
Some of their bodies were testaments to just how little time there was. Kashuu might have a knife to his throat, but at least he didn’t have to wear any of the unsightly bandages that Okita did. One day Okita and Yasusada had come visiting, and there was white strips criss-crossing over both of Okita’s hands. Later on, Yasusada would say that they went all the up to his elbow, and it was spreading.
“It” referred to the collapse of Okita’s body.
“Hey… So it’s getting worse, isn’t it? The deterioration of Okita’s body.”
Some years had passed. The two of them were twenty-four now; they’d been in the care of this strange household for almost two decades.
Yasusada was quiet that day. He didn’t even try to initiate any conversation. To be fair, Kashuu usually started them, but it was their banter and just Yasusada’s voice that filled up his walls that gave him peace of mind, and here Yasusada was, laying on his bed, staring up at the canopy. At Kashuu’s words, his lips pressed tightly together, his frown deepening.
Still, he said nothing. Kashuu sighed. “You know, brooding like that is reaaaally annoying. It’s not that I’m not worried about him too, but that’s just the way things must be.”
Yasusada blinked mechanically, like the tick of the clock, then glanced over at Kashuu almost in surprise. “You sounded like him for a second there.”
At that, Kashuu grinned. “It’s really the only thing he taught me, you know.”
“Lord Okita has taught us a lot of things, Kashuu.”
“Maybe about the Abyss and Chains and who we are - or rather, the roles we have to play. Everything else though, like life lessons and stuff? He didn’t teach us any of that. Well, not to me. I’m sure his precious successor knows much though.”
“Kashuu…”
Kashuu waved his hand dismissively. “I’m not bitter, I’m not bitter. That one line has been what’s been able to keep me sane, I guess.” He brought his legs up on the bed and laid down right beside Yasusada. He searched the curve of his nose, the arch of his cheekbones. “I think… Even though it’s gonna be sad that Okita disappears, it’s going to be more painful for you, right? He’s…”
He’s more of a father to you than to me.
The thick sheets rustled as Yasusada turned to his side to face Kashuu. He too had the look of someone who was quietly searching. “I try not to think about it,” he confessed. “But it’s pretty impossible, because I’m always with him. I have to watch the Abyss’ power eat his body away more and more everyday. I have to help wrap the bandages over more of himself. He always thanks me and carries on his duties, and as I walk behind him, I just…”
“Just?”
Yasusada’s eyes were growing glassy, his oceans threatening to pour out onto the bed. But he blinked, looked away, but his eyes were still growing as red as Kashuu’s. “I just realize that I’m not going to be able to follow him like that for long. I’m just - literally watching him die. That’s painful. Even more so because he’s not the only one.”
In the cliffhanging pause that followed, there was only the ticking of the grandfather clock (a new one that Okita had supplied). Kashuu forgot how to breath for those precious seconds, just watching one thin tear swim across the bridge of Yasusada’s nose.
But finally, he got up, stretching loudly. “Huhhh, what the heck is thaaat? There’s nothing wrong with me. If I had to rot like that, I’d never let any of you see my face again!” Staring only at the wall, he said in consideration, “I can’t say the same for you, though. You’re gonna be like that one day too. I hope you have a good successor that’ll help you change your bandages too, because I won’t be here to do it for you.”
Behind him, he heard the rustle of Yasusada sitting up as well, and heard his conflicted breath flutter against his shoulder. Kashuu got up, needing to move, needing to keep moving because he just did not have the time to stay idle and let all these thoughts and emotions catch up to him.
“Kashuu, when you--”
He made for the window, sighing loudly. “Maaan, I’m glad I won’t be able to see you like that though. Okita looks really bad, and you can see the rotting skin under his bandages sometimes. It’s gruesome. I’d rather remember your face as you are now, not all hideous.”
“Would you please just listen to me for a second, you--”
“But you know,” Kashuu’s voice lowered as he spoke. He crossed his arms over the stone sill, looking out at the scenery before him. The rustling trees. The mansion distantly. Beyond that, glimpses of light.
“You could become a pile of dirty rotten bandages and bone, Yasusada, and I would still…”
“Kashuu.”
At the sound of his name being spoken so softly, Kashuu turned. Yasusada was already there, his arms suddenly wrapping around Kashuu’s waist. The embrace prevented him from moving much, but Kashuu only watched as Yasusada pressed his forehead to the crook of Kashuu’s neck, his thick hair tickling him.
A strained laugh left him. “Ha-ha, what’s this? If you were in the mood, all you had to do was say it, you know.”
Yasusada didn’t lift his head - not to say something in dry retort, not even to humor Kashuu with a small laugh. Even with their headbutting, that mood had already left them. For probably the first time, they were both facing their grim realities. And so Yasusada just stood there, still, holding Kashuu close. Kashuu looked down and intertwined their fingers together. Somehow, he only just noticed after all these years how perfectly their bodies and fingers filled in each other’s empty spaces.
“Kashuu,” Yasusada murmured again, his breath tickling the collar of Kashuu’s shirt, “after the ceremony, when Lord Okita fades and you get… When you both leave me… I’ll be alone.” He held Kashuu tighter, his fingertips pressing on Kashuu’s hands. His breathing was slightly ragged. “I can’t stop any of this, and in the end, I’m going to be...so lonely...without you...”
The word chilled Kashuu’s insides, and it was difficult to keep the empathetic shiver running down his body undetected while Yasusada still held him. For years, all Kashuu had done was try to drown out the loud clanging of the clock’s pendulum. He knew he was going to die. He knew he was the cursed one, the Child of Misfortune.
But now he tried to look at it from Yasusada’s eyes. At least when Kashuu’s body and soul was torn to shreds, no matter how painful it was, it’d have an end. But Yasusada’s loneliness would echo in the halls of the mansion until he began his slow rot as well.
This is the way things must be.
Who decided that?
Being born as they were was such...a lonely feeling.
Yasusada’s lips pressed insistently at his jawline, his hands tugging down the red scarf Okita had given him. It had been his first gift to the two of them, since he’d found them in the beginnings of winter. Kashuu didn’t realize he still wore it.
The hungry kisses persisted, Yasusada’s hands warm and soft even over his clothes. Kashuu let out a heated breath, then a soft moan, pressing back against the caresses. He turned his head to rub his lips against Yasusada’s ear.
“Make it painful. And quick.”
Yasusada’s laugh was more of a growl. “That’s dirty, Kashuu.”
“But you’ll do it?”
A pained noise. Nails digging into his thighs. There might have been something wet saturating his scarf.
“Yeah,” came the reply at last. And Yasusada quickly led him back to the bed.
And it hurt. Kashuu whimpered and whined and loudly because the only benefit of the tower was that no one could hear them and for once it was like old times, just the two of them, just Yasusada beside him.
Yasusada, Yasusada, Yasusada...
Kashuu dug his nails into Yasusada’s pale back, leaving marks as red as his nails.
(“I don’t think I realized it until now, that everything you own is red.”
“Ehhh, what do you mean?”
“Your sheets, your wardrobe…” A raised brow. “Your nails and lips too.”
Kashuu smiled, pointing to his eyes. “Well, I guess I had to get used to the color at some point.” If everything else is red, then his eyes aren’t so strange anymore. That was what he thought the first time Okita had given him the red scarf to keep him warm. Red could be a comfort too, right?
Yasusada hummed, the corner of his lips turning up as well. “I’m glad. It suits you.”
Kashuu looked down, speechless.
“Ha-ha, your cheeks are red now too.”
“Oh shut up.”)
Red was curses and misfortune and life and blood and love and lust and--
Black was death. Kashuu became confronted by that fact the night of the fifth ceremony, when Okita would give his last Chain, Jabberwocky, to Yasusada. Black was beautiful and mysterious and powerful. And now, black meant The End.
It was the only ceremony Kashuu was allowed to attend, because now he had an actual role in it. He stood off to the side, wearing his favorite clothes, his heeled boots Izumi no Kami always said were entirely too feminine, and his lips weren’t painted red, but bruised as such when Yasusada had pulled him to the side right before they entered the room and crushed his mouth in a kiss.
It hurt still.
Kashuu watched intently as Yasusada and Okita performed the ceremony before the rest of the “family”, all of them dressed in crimson robes. Kashuu was slightly surprised by the solemn, respectful air in the room, and no one so much as stirred when Okita summoned Jabberwocky and slashed at its wrist.
So this is a Black-Winged Chain. Jabberwocky was mighty despite its grotesque appearance, large and black wings curling in as if to complete the stage of the scene. Kashuu was in such awe of it that he almost stopped paying attention.
When Okita gave Yasusada the goblet full of liquid to consume, Kashuu knew from his being told that it was filled with Jabberwocky’s blood. That was how all the Contracts were made, even his one to the Cheshire Cat. One had to drink the blood of the Chain, then speak its name.
The blood stained Yasusada’s lips when he pulled back from the goblet. He licked it up slowly, as if time was suddenly irrelevant to him. He hardly looked up when Okita made a small speech announcing Yasusada as the new head of the household, and the prime overseer of the Abyss. Kashuu studied his face for some sign of a single emotion, but what Yasusada wore was a tightly-stitched mask.
But then everyone’s eyes were on Kashuu, and he knew the clock was now chiming its final hour.
(“I heard you and Okita talk about it, you know. About how and why I’m going to die.”
“...You snuck out of the tower?”
“He said that I’m getting dropped into the Abyss, because I’m a Child of Misfortune. I mess up the balance of things because I exist and I can warp the world by being able to go to the Abyss. But where I’m going...he told you that there’s no light there. I’m being sent to its ‘darkness’, to be destroyed.”
Faintly, Kashuu had been smiling, and then it grew, wider and wider into a cracked illusion of composure. Yasusada closed his eyes tightly, fists curled at his sides.
“But the only one that can send me to the Abyss, to that darkness, is the one who has the power of the Five Black-Winged Chains with him. Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha! Yasusada...
“Yasusada all this time...I was just born to be killed by you.”)
Kashuu came over at Okita’s gesturing for his cue, and he knelt before Yasusada. Everyone was, but Kashuu was the only one in front of him, offering himself to oblivion.
Yasusada’s tight breath flurried down to him, and Kashuu smiled with his red-bruised lips.
“Painfully, remember?” he murmured so only they could hear. “And quick.”
Yasusada frowned at the choice of words, his lips pressing together tightly. Then, as if no longer able to bear looking at Kashuu, into his cursed eyes that made him born of misfortune and death, he put his hand in front of him, his fingertips brushing against Kashuu’s forehead.
“Kashuu Kiyomitsu,” he began, voice loud and firm, “with my Chain of Condemnation, I hereby pronounce judgment on you. Your sin is…”
Silence. Not for dramatic effect. Kashuu found an almost impatient laugh choking in his throat. Oh, of all times to suddenly lose that stubborn and almost obsessively loyal air Yasusada had. Hesitation couldn’t be tolerated here. If he could, he’d take Yasusada’s hand, and… What? There was nothing to be done about this now. Too many years had passed, and they couldn’t run away. No matter where they went, the irregularity of Kashuu’s existence would only kill them.
Hmm… Yasusada… Do you think, in another life, we wouldn’t be separated like this? Or is this too, “just the way things must be” for us?
Yasusada found his voice again, but it was tight like a pulled-taut thread. “Your sin is that you were born with those eyes of misfortune, and that you...are a threat to the peace of the Abyss.”
The sentence was punctuated by the loud rattle of chains breaking up from the ground. It was no longer the stone and carpet of the mansion, however. Where Kashuu knelt, dark jaws had opened up, the chains flying up and winding around his arms and legs, seizing him in place. Their biting grip tugged him down to the darkness, swallowing him whole.
With wide, horrified eyes, Yasusada watched Kashuu fall. And it was very much like that, as if Kashuu was falling endlessly into a well. The world disappeared under his knees, and Yasusada grew further away from him until his face was imprinted behind Kashuu's eyes.
There was a strange liberation in the carrying out of judgement. Although chained, Kashuu finally felt free, though that could’ve been the rush of shadow engulfing him further down into oblivion. The darkness shredded into his flesh, his bone, deeper to his essence itself.
Finally, this was judgment. His broken existence could meet the end.
Kashuu closed his eyes, and waited for the darkness to finally rid him of them.
(At least Yasusada kept his promise. Kashuu just wished he could've made one for him too.)