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"Are you certain you don't mind getting left behind?" Dorian asked Bull as the Inquisitor, Sera, Vivienne, and Cassandra once more disappeared into the Eluvian. Possibly for the last time, he thought. "The Inquisitor usually takes you everywhere. And I know you've been itching to find out what's been going on."
Bull shrugged. "I can't really blame her for not trusting me, Kadan. I wouldn't trust a self-professed spy to fight against his own people, either."
Dorian barked out a laugh. "It's not as if you haven't fought at her side for years, now. You would never betray her, not after all this time."
Bull laughed, but then looked down. "Just hope that mark of hers doesn't take her out before she can get to the bottom of this. Boss is a fighter. It would suck for her to die from some creepy Elven magic crap."
Dorian simply hummed in response. While he did hope the Inquisitor would stop the Qunari before her mark could kill her, he didn't particularly care what happened to her after that. He'd never gotten along with Branna Cadash; Her distrust of mages had kept them from ever becoming anything more than antagonistic towards each other. Sera would be devastated, though. Perhaps Dorian could ready the harder liquor for her.
"Come on." Bull put a hand on Dorian's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "They won't be back for a while, and I can think of a few ways to distract ourselves from this shit until they do."
~*~
Dorian could certainly say one thing about The Iron Bull -- He was absolutely thorough when it came to distractions. It didn't take long for Dorian to dissolve into a moaning, writhing, wanton mess under Bull's touch. He clutched at the headboard of the extravagant Orlesian bed he'd been given for the duration of the talks, begging Bull to let him come.
When he did come, after -- How long had it been? It had felt like hours, but it might have only been minutes -- Dorian slipped into sleep almost immediately, barely registering Bull's soft voice as he cleaned him up and then gathered him in his arms.
~*~
When Dorian woke, he was alone in the bed. The sheets and pillow next to him were cold.
He sat up slowly and stretched, minding the many aches that followed from a night of rough sex. It wasn't the first time he'd woken up alone after sex -- The Bull was an early riser, while Dorian preferred sleeping in -- But he was usually a light enough sleeper that he would notice Bull's exit. He must have been more exhausted then he'd thought...
Once he'd dressed and groomed himself to a presentable state, he left his room to find that the sun had come up. Touching base with Varric revealed that the Inquisitor's party had returned about an hour previously.
"I didn't catch everything that happened," Varric admitted. "Everyone was in a rush to get Her Heraldness to the healers. She lost her hand and it looked like a good chunk of her lower arm, too. Gonna be rough for her to get used to that... Anyway, from what I've heard, they stopped the Qunari, and I think they found Solas? Who might want to destroy the world. That part was less clear."
Dorian eventually wandered away from Varric and headed to the tavern to visit Bull, but couldn't find him. Frowning, he looked around the Winter Palace grounds until he found Cassandra, who was waiting outside of the room that had been converted into a healer's office for Cadash.
"Is she alright?" He asked.
Cassandra looked up at him, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of her expression.
"Varric said she lost her arm?" He continued.
"Dorian, I..." She motioned to the bench next to her. "You should sit."
He fought the urge to snort. "You've no need to worry, I'm not going to be too broken up. I have no plans of being an arse to her about it, but you must know the two of us weren't friends."
"This isn't about the Inquisitor," Cassandra tried again. "It's about... Please sit, Dorian."
Frowning, he did, if only to keep her from asking again. "Is it about Solas wanting to destroy the world? Varric wasn't completely sure about that one."
"Dorian, Iron Bull was there."
He blinked, the words making sense, but the context left him confused. "What? Do you mean that he followed you? Is he hurt?"
She shook her head. "He was working with them, Dorian, with the Qunari. He betrayed us."
Dorian stood up, turning away from Cassandra. That couldn't be right. "You... You must be mistaken. It must have been another Qunari who looked like him, Bull would never..."
"I'm sorry." She stood up as well and placed a hand on his shoulder. "He spoke to us. It was Bull. "
He shook his head. "But... He wouldn't." He turned back to face her. "Bull respected the Inquisitor, they were friends, he..."
Cassandra squeezed his shoulder. "He was loyal to the Qun. The Inquisitor knew that, it's why she'd left him behind. But in the end he was still there, and he attacked us."
"Is... ?" His voice caught in his throat. He was afraid of the answer, but he had to know. "Is he dead?"
Cassandra nodded. "We tried to just disable him, so we could take him in for questioning, but you know how strong he is. We did what we had to do."
Dorian wasn't sure if that was worst or better.
"Excuse me. I think I need a moment alone."
~*~
It had been some time since Dorian had gotten quite so drunk, and had cried quite so much. The last time being when he'd learned of Felix's death, over two years ago, now. And Bull had been there to try and comfort him, having just lost the Chargers, himself.
Dorian hadn't known the Chargers very well. Like most of the Inquisition, many of them distrusted him, and having heard Cremisius's soporati accent, he'd wager there was an actual reason for the distrust. But he'd been saddened to hear of their deaths, regardless. They'd seemed like good people, and Skyhold felt emptier for their loss.
He remembered he and Bull getting drunk together, toasting to them and to Felix. Bull had shared what had gone down in the mission, then, had shared his fears of losing the Qun and of the madness of the Tal-Vashoth. He'd even confessed to freezing up, leaving the decision up to Cadash.
How different would things have been had the Inquisitor made a different decision?
Dorian snorted and took another drink of the bad Orlesian wine he'd brought up to his room. It didn't matter. The Chargers were dead, and now Bull was dead, all in service to the fucking Qun.
He fingered the dragon tooth necklace that hung around his neck. Had it all been a lie? The whole time? When Bull had called him Kadan, had offered to go back to Tevinter with him... Was it all just a subtle manipulation? Or had the lying started more recently? He recalled Bull writing that he'd gone back to Par Vollen for a time... Had they reeducated him? Or had they not needed to?
He wrenched the necklace off of his neck and gripped it tightly. Part of him wanted to throw it against the wall, shatter it and everything it represented. But another part wanted to cling tightly to his memories, to the hope that Bull had at least been honest about this ...
There was a knock on his door, which he ignored. He was in no state to see anyone.
His door opened anyway, and he cursed when he saw Branna Cadash enter. "Did I say you could come in?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, placing her right hand on her hip. Her other arm hung at her side, the sleeve of her tunic pinned up around the stump just below her elbow. There were some burn marks on her brow, and a healing cut on her cheek, but she stood straight, as if daring the world to challenge her further. "No need to ask if you've heard, then."
"Leave me be." He spat out before taking another swig of wine.
"I know we're not friends, Dorian. But I am sorry about Bull. I know the two of you were close."
When he didn't respond and only glared at her, she sighed. "Fine. Just don't drink yourself to death. Sera likes you for some reason, and I'd hate for her to lose another friend."
She turned to leave, and Dorian thought he should let her. But apparently the wine had given his mouth other ideas.
"Was it worth it?" He asked.
She turned back to him and frowned. "Was what worth it?"
"Your precious alliance with the Qun? After letting the Chargers die and leading Bull on this path?"
Cadash barked out a laugh. "You're blaming me ?"
"I wasn't on the Storm Coast that day, but Bull did tell me what happened. That it was your call not to save them."
"And you think that would have changed things?"
"If you'd saved the Chargers, Bull would have become Tal-Vashoth. He wouldn't have been loyal to the Qun, wouldn't have turned on you--!"
"How fucking naive are you?" She demanded. "For all we know, he could have turned on us then rather than become Tal-Vashoth, which, if you'll recall, terrified him . Or maybe he would have been fine then, but would still have turned on us today to get back into the Qun's good graces."
"He wouldn't have..." He started, but couldn't finish. He wouldn't have thought Bull possible of his betrayal today, either, and look at how wrong he was.
"He was a spy , Dorian." She insisted. "You knew that as well as I did, but you still let him into your bed and convinced yourself he could possibly love you more than the Qun. Don't you get it? He was never The Iron Bull. That was a role he played. He's always been Hissrad. I'm not saying he didn't like you, but if you actually believe that he wasn't manipulating you, not to mention the rest of us, then you're fooling yourself. "
"Get out." He growled, his fist clenching around something. He wanted to hit her, throw something at her, set her on fire... Anything for her to just leave .
She sighed and shook her head. "Fine. Be a fool, then."
As she walked away and closed the door, he threw what he was holding in her direction.
The dragon tooth hit the door with a thud before clattering to the ground.