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Jimin doesn’t tell anyone. How could he when there’s nothing wrong? Nothing even happened he tells himself over and over again. Maybe if he says it enough he’ll actually believe it.
There were no real abnormalities, no excuse for the tightness in his chest. The unexplainable clinginess that fills him past the brim every time a packmate passes by, urging him to latch on and never let go is uncalled for, honestly. He doesn’t reach out, doesn’t beg, “please, please, please,” no matter how much he yearns to.
He keeps walking because that’s what ought to be done. They’re working, work is not the place for clingy little pups who can’t be away from their hyungs for more than a few hours. Back when they first started at the company, when they were still trying to balance school, practices, and preparation for debut, if he had shown any of this neediness his knuckles would have long since been rapped.
He bites at his cheek when he has to attend individual vocal lessons, with no mates around to scent and touch. He knows he’s not supposed to chew on his cheek anymore, it makes his skin all puffy and raw. Unsightly. He just hopes they don’t notice.
Even when the manager says he did well, it just gets lost in the hollowness in his chest. He says “thank you,” but his voice is just as numb. He gets released then, told to keep working hard.
It has to be enough, to see his hyungs across the room at dance practice. To see them smile when Taehyung nails a particularly difficult move. His chest seizes at every “nice work,” and “good job,” that gets thrown around like candy at a parade. He can’t help but stare every time Hoseok gives Jungkook a sip of water, knowing if someone doesn’t force him to take a breather that he will dance and dance and dance until he can’t get up from the floor.
He watches Namjoon squeeze at Yoongi’s nape when he gets all growly, frustrated with himself for being a beat behind on their new song. He feels his ribs tighten around his lungs like his organs have grown too big for his bones and he has to actively force the breaths in one… two… three… before he can move without being on the verge of collapse.
Even when Hoseok hands him his own bottle of water, some childish part of him wishes he had helped him drink it too.
There’s no reason why he yearns for that same touch, as fleeting as it may be. For why the thought of not being told he’s done well is enough to get him to match his every breath and blink with their instructor in a fruitless effort to be spotless. He’d be perfect, he thinks, if he wasn’t still sore. It’s not even the pleasant sort of sting that makes him all giggly and giddy throughout the day, it just hurts. It’s not as if Taehyung didn’t rub soothing creams onto his skin, massaging the feel back into his limbs. He’d been cared for, after he ensured Taehyung and Jungkook got the same treatment.
It wasn’t quite their normal night, he supposes. Yoongi hadn’t been up to play, which was fine. No one would ever fault him for not being in the mood. Hoseok cuddled him off to the side of the nest, and given their sweet smells they certainly enjoyed watching the pups take their fill from the hyungs. It wasn’t even particularly rough. Jimin ended the night with a red bum but that’s not anything he didn’t want. It felt good to have Namjoon’s hands on his ass and to be able to slip into a cozier mindspace for a few moments.
The only real hiccup had been when Namjoon’s insistently buzzing phone set Jungkook into a fit of tears. He’d been down so far and the rude noise only overwhelmed the poor babe. When the pack alpha had to leave the room, there was no world in which Jimin wouldn’t have stepped in as the only other alpha. With Yoongi and Hoseok long since fallen asleep, Seokjin needed help with two fretting and sensitive omegas. Jimin took hold of Taehyung, squeezing him tight so he could feel grounded back into his own body. Sometimes it’s nice to have that pressure, to feel someone else’s skin against yours and know they’ve got you.
Seokjin quieted Jungkook down pretty quick, all things considered, turned his tearful little gasps into precious giggles. The beta even gave him his fingers to help settle him down. It worked wonders, his scent pulsing so delicately sweet over the whole room, like flowers had sprung up from the floorboards.
Seokjin whispered sweet words in his ear even as he made him gasp and whine, “such a good boy, taking me so well.” His smile was so full of fondness that Jimin couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. Ridiculously, he wished Seokjin would look at him like that. He didn’t, of course, since he had a sub under him needing to be cared for, but Jimin still wants.
While Taehyung wasn’t up for another round, Jimin relished in applying cool balms to his entire body. He was careful to massage and moisturize every part of him, kissing his skin along the way just to see the way his eyes crinkle. He’d felt good .
When he was done Taehyung even insisted he rubbed a few pumps of lotion onto Jimin’s sore areas. The alpha indulged him a bit, but Taehyung was still a little too out of it to properly soothe the redness away. It was enough though, Jimin had cream on and he’s done a good job taking care of his omega. By the time they’d settled down into the nest, Namjoon was back and helping urge Jungkook to take some sips of juice.
With the pack back together Jungkook relaxed into sleep so nicely, his scent so fresh and lovely. With a hyung on either side of him his little snores could be heard even before Jimin himself fell asleep. Holding Taehyung from behind he was able to nose at the omega’s scent gland and really entice the pomegranate fragrance into the air. He licked at the skin a few times, so potent on his tongue it was like he was tasting straight from the fruit.
Jimin fell asleep like that, holding his soulmate. He’d done a good job, he stepped up like a good alpha and taken care of the omega. So why did his stomach refuse food that morning? The only bite he took was when Jungkook had pressed his spoon into his mouth and told him to try his own meal, despite it being the same thing. It was tasty and filling and he knew he would have liked it if he actually ate his own portion, but he just couldn’t. Not even the knowledge that Yoongi made it for him could entice him.
He wasn’t hungry though, so it was okay. He’d sat next to Yoongi in the car and was a steady shoulder for the omega to doze on while they drove to the main building. It was a full day of schedules. He thought he’d feel better once he was with the pack, but even with everyone moving around him he felt just as cold. Not even Seokjin asking him if he was okay was enough to thaw him out. ( Yes, I’m fine, hyung ) There’s no time to ask for a cuddle, no matter how quick. Not with Yoongi’s scent growing more bitter the longer he’s missing the beat and Jungkook being all glassy eyed as he always gets when there’s tension around him. While Hoseok and Namjoon focus on the pack omega, helping him calm down and clear his mind, Seokjin and Taehyung help distract Jungkook.
With the others grouped off there’s nothing to stop the instructor from honing in on Jimin, having him go again and again as he critiques his every movement. It’s not cruel, they’d never dare be mean in front of the pack alpha, but it only makes it harder for him to breathe. “Again, Jimin-ssi,” the instructor says, knowing better than to step into pack affairs. But Jimin isn’t a part of the pack affairs, he’s not needed to calm the omegas and the others have their backs already. So he dances.
Perhaps if he dances enough he’ll finally perfect it, be worthy.
When practice is done, the group only separates again. The rap line off to the studio, Seokjin and Jungkook off to get groceries for the week. It’s just Taehyung who joins him on the ride home, and he can’t help but relish the feel of his soulmate's hand in his. Maybe he squeezes too tight but the omega doesn't complain so he thinks it’s okay. He hopes so.
They’re only just taking their shoes off, Jimin hasn’t even come up with an excuse to cuddle with his lover when he’s turning to take a phone call. Walking away, leaving Jimin behind. Again and again and again.
Jimin has to cover his mouth to keep from crying. Which is undoubtedly pathetic. There’s no reason he should be so ridiculously emotional over his mate taking a damn phone call. But it hurts, everything hurts. Every time he shivers he just irritates his sore bones further. He bites at his knuckles, but it only makes it harder to choke back his whimpers.
Before anyone can hear, he finds himself stumbling into the pack nesting room. When he opens his mouth he can taste his mates on his tongue, the pheromones still so strong from the night prior. He locks the door behind him, knowing he won’t be able to hold in his tears when he’s being surrounded by his lover's scents. He’s better off if no one sees him in such a humiliating state.
When he closes his eyes, he can almost trick himself into thinking his pack is around him, scenting, nesting, cuddling, touching him. He almost doesn’t feel so alone.
The problem is, when he opens his eyes, all that’s there are fabrics and plushies. It’s not enough, it should be but it’s not. He’s not supposed to be like this, so clingy, so desperate. When he joined Big Hit they told him that when he presents he’s going to grow attached. They said that no matter what, he can’t let himself cling. I thought you were better than this, Jimin-ssi. He needs to save face, be a good alpha that fans will want to admire. No one wants an alpha who cries at every little problem, Jimin-ssi. Be the sort of alpha that fans will wish are leading their packs. No one will follow an alpha who can’t lead, Jimin-ssi. He can’t do that if he’s following after his mates like a lost puppy.
There was a different manager when Jimin first joined the group. An alpha who filled every room with his pheromones, a man who demanded respect and if everyone didn’t bare their throats to him he’d kick them out. He himself was fired later on. Jimin never got the details, he just knows Namjoon was in a lot more meetings back then. He hears his voice sometimes, when he’s being weak. When he’s acting like the kind of alpha that would have been fired back then.
Thinking of him gets Jimin ripping at his hair, biting at his fingers until he feels something other than memory and a bleeding sort of loneliness. Even the plush furs he lays upon do nothing to ease the sting on his skin.
He’s an alpha, he’s supposed to look after his mates, he isn’t supposed to be such a needy pup. He’s not a child anymore, he was supposed to grow up already. When are you going to act your age already, Jimin-ssi. Yet, here he is crying like he never learned better. The pack doesn’t need him acting so pathetic, he’s supposed to be reliable. If he was more capable then maybe Namjoon would entrust him to actually take care of the mates.
If he was more steady maybe he’d be the one Namjoon would ask, “you’ve got them?” Instead of always turning to the beta’s. Even Yoongi won’t go down for him if there’s not another hyung there, omega or not Jimin isn’t alpha enough for the age difference to be nullified.
Jimin’s asked before, “hyung, how would you feel if I brought you down tonight?” He stood so tall, so proud, ready to prove to his pack how capable he is.
Only for Yoongi to reply, “not tonight, angel, Jinnie-hyung is out.” As if Jimin could never be entrusted to watch over his hyung by himself. Nothing has ever actually gone wrong when he’s gotten Yoongi into a more submissive mindset. There’s been instances in which he hesitated, and the sweet boy turned to Seokjin or Namjoon for direction. But that’s only because Jimin isn’t as experienced! If anyone let him help then he wouldn’t be so unsure, he’d be the one Yoongi turns to.
Pressing his face into a nearby pillow reeking of rain, he can tell it had Yoongi’s slick on it recently. Smelling him so close, it only makes him cry harder. He pushes it back away, stomach clenching.
Maybe he just isn’t worth Yoongi’s trust in him, it’s not like he’s his dom. Yoongi himself has brought Jimin down enough times to prove himself higher in the hierarchy. Why would he trust himself to be so vulnerable around such an incapable alpha? How did someone like you turn out to be an alpha, Jimin-ssi? Of course he needed Namjoon today, he’s the better alpha.
That’s why he had to go to Jungkook the night before, he’s the leader. He’s their foundation, of course he’s going to check on the baby of the pack. It’s only fair. It’s not like Jimin really needed to be checked on. He’s not the one who needed whispers of, “you did such a good job, Koo. We’re so proud of you, baby.” They were done with the scene, there’s nothing more.
Of course Jimin isn’t the one to be cuddled to sleep, he’s not the one who gets held. He doesn’t get kisses to his cheek and a hand running through his hair. The only reason he even got to sleep with Taehyung is because he’s the one who grabbed him and held him and Taehyung’s too sweet to pull away. He probably wanted to go join the others, cuddle up with his nestmate and have their pack alpha watching over them. He probably would have felt safer.
Jimin’s better off alone anyway, no one around to hear him crying.
It’s pathetic really, for him to be crying into the nest, to be tarnishing the freshly washed materials. A bad alpha making the nest bad. But he can’t bring himself to move, to remove himself from the heavily scented blankets. He nuzzles into the blanket he threw himself on, opening his mouth like he’ll inhale better. He’s flooded with pure Namjoon Namjoon Namjoon and it only makes him cry harder. Gasping for air he still can’t get enough, he pulls the blanket out further, allowing him to wrap himself in it. Fully enveloped, air stuffy and scent so thick it would make his eyes water even if he wasn’t crying, all he feels is cold. But this is the closest he can get to being held. It’s supposed to be enough. But it’s not. It’s not it’s not it’s not-
Namjoon didn’t hold him the night before and even though he knows he didn’t deserve the attention when Jungkook was the one crying and needing help, he wishes it was his alpha who rubbed cream on him and tucked him into bed. He wishes it was his hyung who fed him breakfast and let him sleep on their shoulder. He wishes one of his hyungs would just touch him and maybe he’d feel okay again.
He’s not okay, he’s crying and there’s no one coming to save him. Even if they came there’s no reason for him to explain. He’s loved, he knows he is, so why does he feel so fucking alone? Why does he feel like if someone doesn’t touch him he’ll shatter to bits, completely taint the remains of the nest? He did what he was supposed to, he helped Taehyung, he was there, he was present.
Then what the fuck wrong with him?
He can’t help the chirp that rips from his throat, past all his sobs and wails, a desperate attempt to call for help. He chirps again, hoping Taehyung will hear, hoping Seokjin and Jungkook finished their shopping, hoping Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon finally came home. Anyone, any of them please please please please please please-
The chirps burn his raw throat, ragged and harsh and he can’t stop. He can’t even close his mouth long enough to swallow his spit, drooling on the comforters like a pup still teething. It’s gross and pathetic and as much as he doesn’t want anyone to see him ever again, he knows if someone doesn’t come he’ll be gone. He knows it deep in his bones and marrow that if he doesn’t fix this then he’ll be broken, ruined. He doesn’t know how he knows but he thinks this is what it’s like to fall apart and have no one to pick up the pieces. And he can’t even explain why.
He shouldn’t need Namjoon but he does. All he wants is to scream for his alpha until he bursts down the door and holds him. Fuck he just wants to be held, why won’t anyone hold him? He cries and he chirps and there’s not enough energy in him to yell but he would, he would if it meant anyone would come.
But they don’t. And even burrowed into the center of the nest, where the blankets are piled at their thickest, he’s shivering and he’s shaking all over. He’s coughing from his own acidic pheromones, like an oil spill. It’s cloying and it’s suffocating and he doesn’t want to throw up, doesn’t want to lie in his own sick. Because he knows even if he vomits all over himself like a helpless little puppy he won’t be able to roll over, let alone get up. He’ll be ruined in a messy nest in a den that no one wants him in. They'll hate him when they see what he’s done, such a bad alpha. Getting sick all over the nest and not even trying to clean, such a failure.
He coughs and he gags but nothing comes out. His mouth tastes of bile and of blood but there’s no puke, nothing in him to come out. Maybe it’s a good thing he refused breakfast and skipped lunch, at least he won’t have the smell of illness smother what’s left of his alphas pheromones. If he loses Namjoon’s scent there will be no repair. There will be nothing left, not for him, not for an alpha who can’t even take care of his omegas.
He doesn’t register the knocking at first, too lost in his choking and his tears. He mouths at the Namjoon scented blanket, tastes it like it’ll fool himself into feeling like he’s suckling on his leader’s mating gland.
The knocking is louder, and Jimin chirps automatically, desperate for anyone to walk through the door, anyone at all. “Minnie?” Taehyung calls out. It’s not his alpha, not even a hyung, but it’s someone and maybe he’ll come in and maybe Jimin won’t have to be so cold anymore. He chirps again. “Jiminie, can I come in?” Was the chirps not enough? He lets out a mewling sort of noise, can only hope it shows his urgency.
The door rattles but Taehyung doesn’t come in. Jimin can’t help the sob that wracks his body. Even when he covers his mouth with the stupid blanket he’s too fucking loud. “Why’d you lock the door?” He calls out. Jimin doesn’t remember doing that, why would he do that? Why would he barricade himself from his mates? Stupid Jimin, stupid alpha. What is wrong with him? “Can you unlock the door?” He wants to, he does, he does, but he can’t get up. He can’t even move his face from the damp comforter sticking to his cheek. He can’t roll over, he knows he won’t be able to crawl, let alone walk to the door. He’s frozen and he can’t unlock the door, he can’t let Taehyung in and Taehyung is going to leave and he’s going to be alone again. He’s always alone, always, this is why no one wants to touch him.
“Hyung, I’m getting worried, please unlock the door,” he begs. And Jimin can’t do anything but cry. He wants to explain, to tell Taehyung that he can’t but he can’t even do that. He can’t do anything. Useless useless useless .
Inbetween wails, Jimin can tell it’s grown quieter on the other side of the door and he keens- the kinda sound used only in the most distress. He cries and he sobs and it’s quiet and Taehyung left ! Taehyung left him, he left, he left, and Jimin is all alone, he’s alone.
He’s actually gonna do it, he’s gonna throw up and he won’t even be able to move out of his own sick. Maybe he’ll choke on it maybe he’ll suffocate and fucking die in the most pathetic way possible. Maybe he’ll just die here alone and crying and hurting and alone and alone and alone-
“I’m here, Minnie,” Taehyung calls through the door after what must have been minutes and hours and years of Jimin being trapped in a room of stale scents and rotten pheromones. “I just had to grab something, I’m here,” he says it like he didn’t already leave. As much as Jimin wants to believe he’s here to stay, the door is still locked and there’s nothing keeping Taehyung from going again and not coming back. Jimin gags and coughs and sputters but nothing comes out besides spittle and drool.
The doorknob jiggles, the sound doing nothing to ease the ache in the alphas head. It turns and jangles and opens- it opened and Taehyung is lunging forward, tripping over the edge of the nest and crawling up to Jimin. “Oh Minnie,” gently so, “I’m here,” he says it like a promise. He places his hands on either side of Jimin’s face and he can’t help but mewl at the touch, his skin burning. He aches to close his eyes but he can’t bring himself to, staring so if the omega does leave at least he’ll see it coming. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, thumbing at the tears streaming down Jimin’s face.
He knows he’s unsightly like this, snot nosed and red faced, swollen all over. But he can’t bring it in himself to pull away, on the contrary he leans into Taehyung’s hands with an exhale. He wishes he could thank him, for coming, for figuring a way through the door, for touching him. When he has the words, he’ll thank him a million times if it means he’ll go through this much effort for Jimin of all people.
Taehyung wipes at his face like it’s not gross, swiping at the tears even though they keep coming. He uses a blanket (not the one that reeks of their pack alpha) to rub away the snot and spit and though a part of him wants to scold the omega for dirtying a part of the nest, he doesn’t. He just hopes he’s less ugly now, more enticing to touch, to hold.
He must be, because Taehyung kisses him on the nose, on one cheek then the other. He kisses his forehead, even presses his lips to his eyelids, before finally wrapping him in his arms. Although Jimin is the alpha and he’s the hyung, he feels so goddamn small. He presses his head to his chest, feels how steady his heartbeat is against his cheek. Together together together. They rise and fall at once. Taehyung lays down with him so that their legs entangle. The omega wraps his arms so tight around him it stings against the remnants of the night before. He relishes in it, allows the pain to bring him back into his body, back into this room, and this nest with his lover.
Jimin can’t stop shivering, but Taehyung never lets him go, never scolds him. He even purrs, letting it vibrate against his skin. He rubs his hands over his skin like he’s rememorizing his body. Jimin can’t keep himself from nuzzling in, trying to decipher the hints of pack beneath the pungent pomegranate flooding his senses. He’s not sure how long he lays in Taehyung’s arms but it’s long enough for his breathing to match the other, for his tears to slow. He’s no longer choking, no longer wailing, but his eyes can’t seem to stay dry. They’re quiet, but not in the suffocating way. Jimin wiggles closer like if Taehyung squeezes hard enough he can trick himself into thinking it’s a proper puppy pile.
With the nesting room door left open they can distantly hear a door slam before pounding feet make Jimin flinch. A growl building in his throat at the thought of an intruder. He’s ready to snarl, snap his teeth at the threat, despite the way Taehyung tries to hush him. The omega is trying to say something, voice low and soothing, but Jimin can’t comprehend when there’s a danger coming.
When Namjoon rounds the corner, clipping his shoulder on the door frame, Jimin’s growl gets caught in his throat. He whines, a silent ask if his alpha is okay. He doesn’t seem to register the injury, just walks forward like a prowling predator. Another growl starts to grow in his chest as he shivers again, covering Taehyung with his body as well as he can when he’s still so small.
It could very well be seen as a Challenge for him to hide an omega from his pack leader, but if anyone tries to take Taehyung away, the only person in the entire goddamn world who’s willing to touch him, he won’t back down quietly.
Namjoon pauses, blinking his eyes into more clarity even if his scent still pulses fiercely. “Angel, can I come closer?” As wary as Jimin is of him stealing his cuddle buddy away from him, the possibility of him being close enough to reach out is too much to pass up on. Jimin gives a little nod, ignoring how dizzying it is. “Good boy,” he praises and Jimin can’t help the whimper that escapes him. His blood runs red hot through his limbs and he can’t stop shaking.
When Namjoon gets close, Taehyung starts to shift from where Jimin is still straddled over him and he whines, latching onto the omega’s shirt like he’ll be any match against their pack alpha if he decides to rip the boy from his arms. “I’m not going anywhere,” Taehyung reassures, smiling despite how rancid Jimin’s scent must be. “I’m right here, Minnie.”
Namjoon shuffles until he’s merely centimeters away, “can I touch you, baby?” He looks Jimin right in the eye, makes sure he knows he’s asking him. He still can’t make words, but Namjoon must see it on his face how much he wants because he pulls him into his arms with a soft, “oh sweetheart.” He smiles, desperately fond even if his eyes are a little sad, hands on his face, “I missed you.”
Jimin’s not sure if he ever really stopped crying, but that definitely earns him a wet sort of whine. He’s not even sure what he’d say if he was feeling verbal. I love you and I missed you too or I wished you had touched me earlier or I wished it hadn’t come to this. He says nothing, just turns his face so he can lick and kiss at Namjoon’s hand, relishes in now much better he tastes than the blanket.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he whispers, indulging Jimin’s need to have him close. “I’m here now,” he says it like a devotion. And Jimin wants to believe him so fucking bad, he yearns to hold the words in his chest to play on repeat every time he’s alone again. “Alpha’s got you.”
The sound that leaves his throat is a strangled sort of thing, painful as it escapes. “Oh baby,” Namjoon coos, “how long have you been feeling like this?” Feeling like what? Like he’s the reason the pack can’t split off into pretty little pairs, like he’s the extra no one needed? He probably doesn’t expect an answer, but the thought of disappointing him is enough to force a shrug out of Jimin. Maybe that was an encouragement to the alpha because he asks, “have you been like this all day?”
No, he hasn’t been crying in the nest all day but yes, he has been feeling like a rotting corpse of a person all day.
He shrugs again.
Namjoon nods like it made any sort of sense, “okay, lovely. Thank you for telling me.” He has the same tone he used last night with Jungkook. “Hyung has you now.”
With that said, he lowers them down slowly, easing both their bodies into the nest. He arranges Jimin on top of his chest, and Taehyung right at his side so that none of them have to stop touching. It gives room for Taehyung to kiss him again, this time on the lips. He sincerely hopes he tastes nothing of blood or vomit.
He mustn’t, because he kisses him again, soft and sweet and addicting in the best way. While Taehyung has him distracted Namjoon is able to card his hand through his hair, finger combing out the knots. They stay like that long enough for some of the tension to leak from Jimin’s spine. His thoughts growing slower, his blinks taking longer for his eyes to open. On some level he knows the other two are talking but he can’t get himself to comprehend the words. He just drifts to the lulls of their conversation, eyes droopy and unfocused.
He’s not sure how long he floated before Namjoon is asking, “puppy? Can you hear me?” His whine must be enough of an answer because he says, “Taehyung and I are getting awfully thirsty, so he’s going to go to the edge of the nest and grab some water for us.” What. No. No, he can’t leave. He can’t. Jimin won’t let him. “I’m sure you’re thirsty too.” Nuh uh, no.
He doesn’t mean to growl, but he doesn’t regret it when it allows him to latch onto his soulmate. He wraps his arms around him and presses his mouth to his scent gland, ready, ready, ready.
A hand on his nape. “Baby,” Namjoon has that wispy tone again, but Jimin won’t be tricked.
“No, no,” he forces the words out no matter how soupy his brain feels. He was so close, he knows, to his mind escaping to that honey like state. He was so close to being light and grounded all at once, floating and present and sated. He was close, and now it’s gone. He shakes his head against Taehyung’s neck even though it makes him feel like he’s carsick. He’s shaking and shaking and-
Taehyung’s laugh sounds forced even to his dumb little self, “I’m not leaving, I’m just getting water. I won’t even leave the nest,” he tries to assure. But that’s how it starts, ‘he’ll be right back,’ he said. ‘It’ll only be a moment,’ he promises. It’s all lies, they’re all liars and fuck he’s crying again.
“Jiminie-” Namjoon tries, but he cuts him off.
He pulls his face out of hiding, “No lying, stop.”
Even when he’s being bad, Namjoon doesn’t lose his patience. “Who’s lying?”
His voice is almost a hiss, “you,” he snaps. If he weren’t still bodily trying to prevent Taehyung from leaving he’d be yanking at his hair, scratching at his neck, until he felt something other than all of this.
Namjoon doesn’t respond for a second, eyes searching before he says, “did you drop last night, love? When I took the phone call, did you drop?” It makes sense when he says it, why he’s been so ridiculously sensitive all day, why everything is the end of the world, but it doesn’t make it hurt less. If he started dropping last night then he never stopped. “Oh honey, I thought you were okay. I’m sorry, you smelled content so I thought you’d be okay if I tended to Jungkook.”
That’s the thing, he had been content when he thought Namjoon was coming back for him.
“What can I do to help make it up to you?” He presses his forehead to Jimin’s, lets the skin warm up.
He finally forces the words out, “don’t leave me.” Please please please.
Namjoon’s scent jumps like he lost control of his emotions for a second. His scent pulsing protect love protect sorry sorry sorry love and Jimin can practically feel it tickle against his skin. “Of course, my sweet baby alpha.”
Jimin can finally exhale. Three… two… one…
It doesn’t fix the problem, but he thinks something inside him was healed regardless. Even if it was a small something, he basks in it.
“Can you trust me, just for a minute, that Taehyung will grab the water and be right back?” He asks, voice careful, “he’ll be right back here ready to cuddle and scent you, okay?” And as much as Jimin wants to say no, wants to stomp his feet and demand no one ever leave him again, he still nods. Because even if he can’t stop the fear from clenching his chest, he can still do this.
Taehyung does, he crawls to the edge of the nest, grabs three water bottles and a container of lotion, and does a sort of shuffle-scoot to come back which is so unexpectedly silly it earns a snort of laughter from Jimin. Which of course only gets Namjoon’s scent high on happiness, so potent he’s sure it’s leaking into the halls and the rest of the apartment.
When Taehyung finally maneuvers himself and all the bottles over, he has a dopey little smile on my face. “Think you can take a sip?” He asks, and while water was the last thing on his mind he can’t bring himself to deny such an innocent request. The grin doesn’t leave his face and he unscrews the cap and ever so carefully guides Jimin through drinking almost a third of the bottle. He even wipes the excess of his chin when he’s done, getting a shy smile out of the alpha.
Once all of them have had their fill, finally replenishing all the liquid he cried out, Namjoon asks, “I know it’s late, and it won’t solve anything, but it would mean a lot of I could massage some lotion onto you.” While Jimin saw Taehyung grab the moisturizer, it didn’t click in his brain why he would. “I should have done it last night, there is no excuse in the world for me to not give you proper aftercare and if I can, I would love to try and make it up to you.”
The night before Jimin hadn’t quite put it into those words. That he was lacking aftercare, that he wasn’t as cherished as he normally is after a scene, even a relatively light one. But it helps bring clarity, to hear it in plain terms.
That’s too much to say right now. Eventually they’ll have to have a real conversation, about limits and safewords and aftercare, but tonight he just wants his mate’s hands on his skin. “I'd like that.” From there they go back to some normalcy. Namjoon helps him strip his clothes, Taehyung folding them up before placing them in the nest. Once nude Jimin lays down on his belly, pulling a pillow over to rest his head on. Taehyung settles down beside him, holding his hand so he can play with his fingers.
Namjoon starts at the top of his back, straddling over his ass so he doesn’t put pressure on any hurts. He spreads the lotion over his skin, kneading in it and soothing the tension out of any knots. He goes down segment by segment until Jimin can’t hold back his moans of pleasure, all the anxiety seeming to seep right out of him.
Any time Namjoon works on a particularly rough spot Taehyung does an excellent job to distract him with plenty of kisses. By the time Namjoon has tended to his entire body, Jimin has to rapidly blink to stay awake. Laying down on his other side, Namjoon gives him his own kiss. “You can let go now, baby, we’ve got you. We’ll be here.”
Maybe he would have stayed awake if he wasn’t so exhausted, but as it is, he doesn’t have the energy to keep fighting. So he lets go, a mate on either side.