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~Prologue~
No way out and no way back
A bride in white a dress so red
No I will never let you go
Oh I will never let you
I will never let you go
~ Never Let You Go by Lorde of the Lost
Willow’s shoulder length hair ruffles in the night breeze as she watches the gathering below. A small group of demons and humans mix together as they find their seats. Clem stands next to Spike who’s wearing a 3 piece suit in Tara’s favorite shade of blue. The vampire paces nervously.
Willow clenches her teeth when the music plays. A child looking about four years old steps down the aisle made of flowers. The magical floating lanterns give the illusion the girl’s blond curls are spun of gold. A red, grey, and brown braided cord lays next to two simple silver rings on the white pillow the child carries.
The music changes and an ethereal woman steps out to the gasps of everyone. The simple lace dress hugs her upper body to billow out into fragile wisps of white waves. The moon kisses Tara’s beautiful skin making her glow. Her blonde hair ripples behind her as she walks to the stunned vampire.
How dare they! Tara is suppose to be with her, she’s suppose to love her. No, she can not allow this. She will not allow anyone to take the love of her life away. Not even Tara herself.
Magic cackles around Willow in angry red sparks. Dark black veins grow along her skin like vines of poison ivy as her eyes turn solid black.
~ What Once Was ~
I've been a martyr for love
Tortured every hour
From the day I was born, I've been moved like a pawn
By the greatest of powers
I knew that I would have to suffer in vain
Aware that I would never outgrow the pain
~ Martyr by Depeche Mode
Tara looks away from the distress in her girlfriend’s eyes. “I don’t w...want to, Willow, but this can’t happen again. Like I said, one week. No magic the whole week, and we’ll see.”
Tara gets up from the table keeping her focus away from Willow’s tears. She numbly walks out the kitchen door to the backyard. Her steps take her towards the Mountain Cottonwood tree she likes to sit under. A place of peace and solidness among the stressful situations of late.
“You okay there, Glinda?” The British voice causes Tara to jump.
“Sp...Spike! You scared me.” Tara pats her chest.
Spike smirks, “Bloody right, I’m scary. Now what’s got you in such a tizzy that you would brave the scary monsters in the middle of the night?”
Tara sits down and leans against the tree’s trunk. Spike looks down with a raised brow, shrugs, and smoothly lounges beside her.
“It’s Willow.” Tara explains. “She keeps using magic to fix problems. She doesn’t even attempt to think of other ideas. Thats not how magic suppose to be used, f..for selfish gains.”
Spike growls. “The dumb chit causes any more problems I’ll make sure she pays. Just give me the word Glinda, and I’ll set your girl straight.”
Tara shakes her head. “Thank you, but I’ll give her this last chance. How’s your eye?”
“A good little witch like you shouldn’t waste your worry on Big Bads like me.” Spike scoffs. “‘Side it was just a lucky hit. Just got a bit distracted, gave the bloody shark something to brag about, gettin’ a hit on me.”
Tara sighs as she plays with a blade of grass, “Spike, I know about you and Buffy. Sh..she shouldn’t hit you. It’s not right.”
Spike sits up and looks away from her. “I’m a vampire, pet. Nothing but a love tap.”
Tara frowns, but doesn’t push the point. She knows how much Spike loves Buffy, and he can get very stubborn when it comes to her. She whispers a small prayer that the vampire will find the love and devotion he seeks.
“Okay, Spike, but if you need to talk. I’m willing to listen.” Tara replies.
Spike looks at her with his piercing blue eyes. It takes a few moments, but he nods. “I’d appreciate that. I’ll do the same, if you need.”
Tara looks up at the moon with a small smile. Even in rough times theres a silver lining, and becoming friends with Spike is one of hers.
~ What is Becoming ~
Carry me away from here
To the place I’ve been before
Set me free my darling dear
To the place I feel pain no more
~ Carry Me Away by The Bollox
“I’m sorry William.” Buffy says before she turns her back on him. Walking away from the vampire into the blinding burning rays of the sun.
Spike wobbles and lands onto the crumbled mess of what once was a bed. The whole destruction of his crypt a reflection on what his love for her has done to his heart.
Grabbing his hair, Spike howls in rage and pain.
•
•
•
Tara refuses to watch as Willow walks silently pass her. Her footsteps like hammers beating on Tara’s bleeding heart.
It wasn’t even a couple days into the week before Willow broke her promise. Once again, the woman she loved used magic to fix their problems, and once again that same woman violated her mind.
Tara crumbles to her knees in the dank sewers under the shop. Her sobs echo down the empty tunnels.
•
•
•
Tara dips the whiskey bottle back and chugs. A few drops escaping the side of her mouth.
“Hey! Don’t go drinkin’ all of it.” Spike slurs as he reaches out to steal it away from her.
Tara giggles as the vampire trips over the root of the tree. The moon’s light shining off the glass. It’s like using a laser against a cat.
“Here kitty, kitty.” She teases as she attempts to run but a tombstone pushes her out of the way.
Spike stumbles over her and they both go crashing down onto the resting place of one Agnes Pringle.
“Bloody hell.” Spike mumbles as he helps Tara sit up.
They rest their backs against Miss Pringle’s headstone. Spike grabs the bottle as Tara leans her head against his left arm. Her laughter giving way to tears.
“I got ya, Glinda. Let it all out.” Spike says taking off his duster and placing it over her like a blanket.
“Ju..just why?” Tara cries. “Was my lo..love not enough?”
“Doesn’t matter how much we love them,” Spike sniffles. “They’re...they’re the bloody stupid ones!...not us Glinda. No idea how good they had it.”
Tara grabs the blond vampire into a hug. “If I can let it out, s..so can you.”
Spike’s head lays on the woman’s shoulder. His body shakes and trembles as silent tears wet Tara’s green and yellow flower patterned shirt.
They calms down eventually. Spike sits back up but brings the young witch to lay against his side. They gaze as the few stars that peek out from the haze of city lights and a bright moon.
“Hey Spike, wanna move away from Sunnydale with me?” Tara asks.
“Where would we go, pet?”
Tara plays with the sleeve of Spike’s coat that she’s still bundled up in. “Hmm, where’s your favorite place in the world?”
Spike tilts his head to the side. “Use to love visitin’ the South Downs with my mum when I was a small lad. Guess you could say that’s a favorite spot.”
“Then lets go visit there.” Tara replies.
~ What will Be ~
Throughout the days
Our true love ways
Will bring us joys to share
With those who really care
Sometimes we'll sigh
Sometimes we'll cry
And we'll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways
~ True Love Ways by Buddy Holly & the Crickets
Tara looks down at the positive result on the test stick. This should not be possible, but she double checked with the local midwife the demon community utilizes. Somehow, the Goddess blessed them with a miracle.
Tara smiles.
She never thought she would find love again. Not after everything that happened to her in Sunnydale. She was content and happy to be his friend, to travel England, and to make a life in Winchester once they decided to set down roots for awhile.
“Luv!” Spike yells as he enters their home. “Will you kindly explain now, why the bloody hell you had a dying need for dill cumbers and peanut butter? I had to barter with that damn Yarbnie bloke. He wanted a Havana Brown kitten for just some snacks.”
Tara giggles at her boyfriend. She walks out to the kitchen with the test stick hidden in her fist.
“Close your eyes, Will.” Taras says.
Spike closes his eyes with a grumble. Tara steps up to him, takes his hand, and places the test stick in it.
“Okay, open your eyes.” Tara says.
Spike looks down into his hand, and squints at the pink and white thing with a a plus sign and the word yes in black letters.
“Tara? What is this?”
“I’m pregnant, Will.”
Spike drops the stick in his surprise. Tara laughs as she watches her lover stumble to the kitchen chair.
“How? Are you sure?”
“I had Miss Grimble double check. We don’t know how, but we’re going to have a baby.” Tara replies.
The dawning realization brings the goofiest and happiest smiles Tara has ever seen to Spike’s face. He quickly dashes to her and spins her around. Their shadows merge with the moon’s gentle light upon their wooden floor.
~ Epilogue ~
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
~ My Immortal by Evanescence
A blond man and a child who looks be around the age of 12 walk through the tombstones of the cemetery. They stop at a beautiful stone statue that rests beneath an old tree.
Spike kneels down and carefully places the wild flowers they gathered into the statue’s lap. Their daughter, Rosalyn, sits down next to him. The moon carefully embraces the three in their silence.
In Spikes hand is an old journal, it’s green cover only slightly worn and the pages only a little yellow even after these long years. It was the only exception to his no magic rule, wanting to preserve his wife’s memories.
Spike eyes close as he recalls the night of his greatest joy and his greatest nightmare. At times he wishes he could go back 51 years and kill that red headed bitch all over again.
“Daddy?” Rosalyn’s sweet voice brings him back to the present moment.
“Yeah, Little Fang?” Spike replies.
“Can you read me the entry when Mom told you she was pregnant with me?”
Spike’s throat tighten up. With careful movements, he opens to a page he marked with a red, grey, and brown braided cord.
“Today has been the most blessed days of my life. To not only to be given such a miracle, but a loving partner to share this journey with. I wonder what our child will be like? Will they have Will’s passion, his devotion...” Spike reads to his daughter with silent tears bleeding from his heart