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So, long story short, Sunoo becomes a semi-permanent fixture in Jay’s life.
Alright, fine. That’s a bit dramatic. Sunoo continues babysitting Sooah, and continues to show up at Jay’s house several times a week. Sometimes he spends the night, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he sleeps with Jay in his room, sometimes he takes the guest room.
What he doesn’t do, to Jay’s chagrin, is try to fuck him again. He doesn’t understand why, but he’s determined to let Sunoo come to him. He’s ready to do whatever Sunoo wants, when he wants it. He tells himself he’s willing to wait.
✧
Jay is no longer willing to wait.
He can barely take it anymore. His brain is running rampant with fantasies and his dick is definitely chafing. It’s the dead of winter and Sunoo hasn’t made any advances toward him. It’s not as though he doesn’t want Jay—he can feel Sunoo watching him sometimes.
Like today: he passes by the living room where Sunoo plays with Sooah, a tiara on his head and poorly applied lipstick on his plush mouth, and his eyes flit up when he hears Jay. Sunoo smirks at him and fucking winks, twisting his bright-red smudged lips up into something almost cruel. It’s infuriating, knowing Sunoo clearly wants him, and won’t do anything about it. He walks a little faster on his way to the bathroom, veering his path from the kitchen where he meant to end up.
It’s about four seconds after he shuts the door that he shoves his pants and underwear down to his ankles and grabs his cock. He shoves his other fist into his mouth, muffling the immediate groan that wracks through his body. He’s so fucking sensitive, despite the fact that he’s been jacking off like a teenager for weeks now. He can’t get the image of Sunoo’s cocky smirk out of his head, the way the lipstick—god, where had they even found it?—covered his mouth, making him look debauched. His fading pink hair topped by a cheap plastic tiara and his sure hands playing with a doll of all things.
Jay could make a doll out of Sunoo, he thinks wildly, hand stroking his cock faster than he normally would. He fucks his hips forward into his hand, teeth indenting the fist in his mouth as he tries desperately to keep his voice down. His fucking kid is in the house, and isn’t it fucked up that Jay barely cares? All he can think about is getting Sunoo under him again, above him, any way he can have him.
Fuck, he’s close.
Images tumble past his mind’s eye. Sunoo, bent over his kitchen counter, wearing a flimsy apron and little else; Sunoo, on his knees in front of him as Jay chokes him with his cock; Sunoo, crying as he’s pounded into the mattress, drool and tears mixing on his pillow because Sunoo just can’t close his mouth—
Jay comes with a long, drawn out whine, cum spurting over his fingertips and hips stuttering forward. He has to fuck Sunoo again. He doesn’t have a choice; his dick is literally going to fall off if he doesn’t.
✧
Something has to give. Something has to give.
✧
Jay stands in the kitchen, in the process of cooking lunch on his break, when it happens.
Sooah is happily playing with her dolls in the living room as Sunoo does his homework on the couch next to her. He likes days like this, where Sunoo is barely babysitting and it feels more like a cozy little family spending time together. It makes something in Jay’s chest ache, wistful. He knows he can’t make anything out of the three of them, but sometimes he wants so desperately to try.
He’s chopping up vegetables, humming to himself and going over the recipe in his head, when he hears Sunoo telling Sooah he’ll be back in a bit. Sunoo steps into the kitchen, steps light and movements careful. Jay is standing behind the long counter, and he can still sort of see Sooah bobbing her head along to whatever fictional conversation her dolls are having. Jay looks over to Sunoo as he approaches, a soft smiling gracing his face.
It drops at Sunoo’s expression. Sunoo looks at him, molten heat in his eyes, and something in Jay’s stomach twists at his gaze. He goes to say something, but before anything can come out, Sunoo drops to his knees silently. Jay panics.
His daughter is still in the house, and all he can think about is Sunoo on his knees, staring up at him prettily as he reaches for Jay’s belt. Jay grabs his hands in a firm grip, and all Sunoo does is widen his eyes coyly, lips pursed in a pout. Jay feels crazy for a second at what he’s about to do, and lets go of Sunoo’s hands with a huff. Sunoo smiles lazily as he resumes his trajectory.
He thanks god that the counter works as a barrier between the pretty sight of Sunoo kneeling and his baby in the living room. Jay closes his eyes, hand still resting on the cutting board as Sunoo paws at him through his briefs. He’s trying to keep quiet, but he’s been hard since Sunoo locked eyes with him, throbbing so hard at the very idea of getting off that it’s difficult to keep all his sounds in. He lets out a quiet little whine from the back of his throat when Sunoo wraps a hand around his cock, palm hot against his skin.
His dick twitches when Sunoo leans in, and he holds back a groan as Sunoo presses his lips against his cock in an open kiss. He taps his lips against the head, plush mouth pecking him in little pulses. Jay’s insides burn at the barely-there contact.
Sunoo dips his tongue into the slit, and Jay’s hips jerk with a grunt, precum spurting from his tip. Sunoo licks it away, and Jay has to swallow the spit pooling in his mouth. Sunoo taps the side of his thigh, and Jay opens his eyes to look at him. Sunoo points a finger first at Jay, and then at the food still sitting on the counter, and Jay understands. He shuffles with Sunoo until the back of Sunoo’s head is pressed against the cabinets underneath the counter, and Jay’s cock is tapping at his lips again.
Jay is going to lose his mind, he thinks as he grabs the knife again and starts chopping. He goes slowly, fear of cutting himself wriggling at the back of his mind. It’s hard to think as Sunoo finally, slowly feeds his cock into his hot mouth. Jay tries not to buck up at the feeling of the wet warmth surrounding him, mindful that Sunoo probably doesn’t have a lot of experience with this. It just feels so good, his tongue lapping at the underside of Jay’s dick perfectly as he tries to work more of his mouth onto Jay.
It’s wet, spit sliding down his length from the corners of Sunoo’s mouth, and he tries not to moan at the feeling. He’s biting his bottom lip so hard he’s pretty sure it’s going to start bleeding any moment, and cuts his gaze over to the living room again. Sooah is frowning down at her dolls thoughtfully, and looks up at Jay in the next second, who blanches at the eye contact. His cock throbs embarrassingly at the idea of being caught.
“Appa,” Sooah calls, blissfully unaware of Jay’s dilemma. “I’m going to my room, okay? When you see Sunoo-oppa can you tell him?” Jay nods frantically, not sure he can speak without humiliating himself. Sooah smiles at him brightly, and he returns it weakly. She grabs some of her dolls and heads down the hallway away from the kitchen to her bedroom.
Jay lets out a breath, not realizing he was holding it, finally able to release the tension in his shoulders. Sunoo chokes under him, taking him a bit too far too fast, and Jay grinds his teeth together at the squeeze of his throat around his cock. His balls are throbbing, and they slap against Sunoo’s face as he speeds up. The guttural noises that sound out in the air between them make him nervous, Sooah’s room not that far from the kitchen, but he can’t bring himself to care as he fucks forward into Sunoo’s mouth. He grabs some of Sunoo’s pretty pink hair with a tight fist.
He looks down and regrets it almost immediately—Sunoo’s eyes are teary, glassy where they’re watching him, wide and innocent. A groan rips out of Jay’s throat at the sight, Sunoo’s hands coming up to brace against Jay’s hips as he’s shoved into the counter with each thrust. Jay chases his release like an animal, balls hitting Sunoo’s chin rhythmically. It makes Sunoo moan, hot suction of his mouth vibrating around his length, and he only fucks in harder.
He feels pathetic knowing it’s only taken a few minutes of a messy blowjob to get him so close to the edge, but he doesn’t care. He can’t care with the way Sunoo’s sloppy mouth surrounds him, dripping with drool and precum, getting him so hard he feels like he’s gonna pass out. There’s barely any blood left in the rest of his body.
It takes him maybe a half dozen more messy pumps of his hips for him to come down Sunoo’s throat, choking noises sounding from him as he’s forced to swallow. Jay doesn’t let him move away, pressing his hips in as far as he can without hurting the boy. He feels winded, letting himself come down in Sunoo’s mouth, cock twitching wildly and jizz sliding down his throat. Jay groans quietly again, heart pounding as he pulls his cock free from the mess that is his favorite boy’s throat. Sunoo gags as he slides out of his throat, face fucked out and eyes still wet and pitiful looking.
There’s a wet patch at the front of Sunoo’s jeans, and Jay’s entire body roils with heat.
Sunoo came, just from sucking him off. Jay’s cock gives a sad little twitch, and he wishes he had more time with Sunoo like this. Time to drag him off to bed with him, really work his body over like he deserves. But Sooah is still in the house, Sunoo is still technically working, and he doesn’t want to scar his baby like that.
So instead he tucks himself back in his pants and offers Sunoo a hand up. He lends him another pair of pants, something soft that he’s grown out of, and shoos him off to the bathroom to change. He tries not to think about having this all the time.
✧
Jay loves his daughter. She’s truly an angel, if not a bit of a spoiled one, and he loves how much time he gets to spend with her. So every three months when she leaves to spend a week and a half with his ex-wife, it hurts like a wound watching her go.
It’s the same every time: he makes her favorite food for breakfast, picks out her favorite outfit for the day, and they watch a show he knows she likes until her mother arrives. There’s always a tension between the two of them, like a slow walk to the gallows might feel. Hey, she’s his only daughter. Sue him for being a bit dramatic about it.
Sooah turns her big watery eyes on him at the doorway, a pout forming on her lips, and Jay is gutpunched. He holds his arms out, dropping to his knees, and Sooah comes. She gives him a tight hug with her arms wrapped around his neck, squishing her face into his, and Jay tries to keep himself from crying. It’s a bit embarrassing.
His ex-wife stands outside of the house, checking her watch and brushing her hair back with one hand. She’s dressed sharply, a nice looking pant suit and sleek sunglasses adorning her face. He says nothing more to her than a greeting and a goodbye, watching her take their daughter’s hand and lead her away from the house. The hunch in Sooah’s shoulders almost breaks him, and he has to shut the door quickly after them.
He turns around and slides his back down the door until he’s sitting there, in a too quiet house. He never knows what to do for the first few hours, and with no one around and no one planning to come, he breaks into his own liquor cabinet and pours himself a drink.
Jay’s not an alcoholic—far from it; he barely drinks at all. But sometimes, when he wants the emotions and the thoughts and the urges to just stop, to be numbed completely, he sits at the dining room table and knocks back glass after glass. This time, it’s a bottle of vodka he’d gotten from a friend overseas, and he prepares himself for a long night.
Before he can even get through his second glass, however, he hears the doorbell ring and stiffens in his seat. For a moment, it’s like every possible negative scenario involving Sooah flashes through his mind, and he jumps to his feet. He braces himself, stalking toward the door ready to jump into action, but instead of his daughter when he opens it, he finds Sunoo standing on the step outside.
Sunoo blinks at him. Jay blinks back. “Hi, Jay-hyung.”
And maybe it’s the sight of Sunoo, a boy he’s helplessly endeared by, that makes him smile gently. He’s not even tipsy, but something about Sunoo makes him feel open. Comfortable. “Hi, Sunoo,” he greets. “You know Sooah’s gone this week, right?” And he frowns, because it’s then that he notices the dark splotches underneath Sunoo’s eyes, the tightness around them, and the dried tear tracks streaking his cheeks. Sunoo is hunched over, and Jay is reminded so suddenly and viciously of Sooah that his chest aches. Sunoo shrugs.
“Had a fight with my parents.” And that’s not unusual, Sunoo often remarking on the rift between himself and his family. “Can I come in?”
And Jay nods, because of course the answer is yes. It always is, for Sunoo.
He and Sunoo end up sitting across from each other at the table, Sunoo with his eyes downcast and Jay with his empty glass, unsure if he should fill it again. He takes one look at Sunoo and makes a decision, getting up to grab another glass from the cupboard. He places it in front of Sunoo, who looks at him curiously. When he gestures to the bottle of vodka between them, Sunoo nods, eyes lighting up, and Jay smiles and starts to pour.
He’s probably going to hell for this, getting Sunoo drunk, but it’s so low on his list of sins involving Sunoo that he wasn’t headed for heaven anyway.
Sunoo is giggly after his first shot, and downright silly after his second. Jay takes his time sipping, withholding the bottle from Sunoo until he’s caught up to his intoxication level. It’s difficult, because Sunoo has next to no tolerance, and Jay doesn’t particularly want to get alcohol poisoning tonight, but they find a balance eventually. They migrate to the couch, talking about nonsensical things and laughing together.
(‘I swear to god, he’s out to get me. Nobody that evil should be a teacher.”
“You’ve just gotta tell him to fuck off and be done with it.”
A long drawn out series of giggles. “Hyuuung, you know I can’t do that.”)
Jay looks over at Sunoo, flushed bright pink and drowning in a giant sweater. He looks beautiful, as usual, staring at Jay guilelessly, and Jay is struck with the urge to take him apart and put him back together. Also as usual.
He keeps his hands to himself, hard as it is with Sunoo draping himself across the furniture. He lounges like a cat, exposing his soft, pretty tummy with his arms above his head, and Jay trembles when Sunoo’s head ends up in his lap. All he can think of, with Sunoo’s face that close to his crotch, is the other day when Sunoo blew him. It wasn’t even that good, as far as head goes—Sunoo is still inexperienced and never quite got the hang of a consistent rhythm—but Jay finds himself chubbing up in his athletic pants at the memory anyway. He looks down at Sunoo, who’s still laughing quietly to himself at a joke Jay said.
“Sunoo-yah.” He doesn’t know what to say, and word-vomit crawls its way up his throat, choking him in the process. “Sunoo-yah, why won’t you let me fuck you?” And shit, he hadn’t meant to say that. But it’s out now, in the open between them, and Sunoo gapes at him dumbly for a second before his mouth snaps shut and he flushes even darker.
Sunoo closes his eyes where he’s facing the ceiling, and Jay lets him. It’s probably not a fair question of him, but he can’t help it. He hasn’t felt so attracted to anyone in years, and he wants to keep feeling this happy any way he can. It’s dangerously likely that he could fall for Sunoo, and he doesn’t know what to do about that. He’d rather ignore it and keep trying to make Sunoo feel good. He’d rather turn a blind eye to his own emotions and the consequences of what they’re doing. He wants to rely on his optimism for once.
He doesn’t care what comes after this so long as he gets this: Sunoo opening his eyes and smiling demurely at him as though he can see every secret Jay has ever had reflected clearly in his eyes. Jay feels stripped, exposed, like there’s nothing he can do to hide. And maybe there isn’t, with the two of them caught in this bubble where no one else would understand. No one else gets them.
Sunoo smiles at him still. “I was just waiting for you to ask, hyungie.”
And Jay leans down to kiss him, dooming himself completely.
✧
Jay agrees to let Sunoo stay with him for a few days. Sunoo calls his parents at some point, explaining to them he’s staying with a friend and working on a project, and Jay almost feels something like guilt brewing in the pit of his stomach before he brushes it away. Sunoo is basically an adult, anyway. He can decides who he spends his time with.
Even if that person is Jay, someone he really, really shouldn’t be spending his time with.
So they spend the next few days together, and for the first time during one of Sooah’s absences, his heart feels light. He’s actually smiling and laughing, and getting work done efficiently. He cooks for Sunoo and himself in the evenings, and Sunoo tells him all about the homework he’s working on or his friends from school. It’s domestic. It’s sickeningly sweet.
And in the back of his mind, Jay waits, like a predator waiting to strike.
✧
Jay isn’t entirely sure how they ended up here.
When he enters his bedroom that night, Sunoo sits on his bed, blinking at him. He’s wearing one of Jay’s shirts, the sleeves slipping off his shoulders coquetteishly. It’s fastened about halfway up his chest, and his supple thighs are on display. Jay wants to dig his hands into them.
“Hyung,” Sunoo intones sweetly. Jay looks to him. “Come to bed?” And how can Jay say no to that?
He walks toward Sunoo slowly, watching him all the while. He looks beautiful, all pink skin and pink hair and pink lips. Jay waits to see him get redder, wants to paint his skin like a canvas, color it in bruises and bites. He takes a deep breath and climbs onto the bed, sitting next to Sunoo.
Sunoo blinks again, corner of his mouth ticking up into a smile.
Jay looks up at him again, glancing between his eyes with something akin to wonder. Sunoo is too pretty to be real, he thinks. He grabs at Sunoo’s thighs like he’s been wanting to, slowly spreading them open, and his heart stops at a flash of baby pink underneath Sunoo’s—Jay’s—shirt. Sunoo is wearing panties, and Jay is going to lose his fucking mind. He has no idea where Sunoo even got them, unless…unless Sunoo was carrying them with him that first day he showed up. As though he planned this whole thing.
Sunoo’s legs twitch like he wants to close them, but Jay holds them steady, the pretty pink of his panties teasing Jay and making him feel faint. He wants to get his hands all over Sunoo. He wants to tear Sunoo apart, piece by piece, until there’s only room left for Jay.
He grins. He feels like a wild animal.
He pulls Sunoo down the bed by his legs, barely giving him a second to adjust before he’s rucking the shirt up roughly to his armpits. Sunoo squirms, squeaking at the sudden movement. Jay pays him no mind, spreading his hands along Sunoo’s belly and watching his cock twitch where it’s confined in his panties. They really do look so lovely on Sunoo, the color highlighting the pretty tones of his skin. Jay knows firsthand that Sunoo’s hole is just as pink, and licks his lips.
He drags his fingers up towards Sunoo’s chest, playing with his nipples. Sunoo lets out little whines, small and desperate like he’s trying to keep them in. Jay can’t have that, so he pinches one of Sunoo’s nipples harshly, and watches as Sunoo curls in on himself with a cry. He does it again, and delights in the groan Sunoo lets out, tapering off into a whimper in the end. He toys with Sunoo’s chest, leaving a hickey at the top of his left pec just because he can.
He’ll leave his mark on this pretty boy, no matter the consequences.
He lets his fingers dip lower, playing with the waistband of Sunoo’s panties. Sunoo’s chest heaves as he watches Jay with wide, watery eyes, dark with arousal and cock leaking through the fabric. Jay traces the shape of him through the panties, and Sunoo tries to hold himself still like the good boy he is, trembling where he lays splayed across the bedspread. Jay thinks he looks like a painting, and reminds himself to take a picture later. For artistic reference, of course.
He drags the panties off and away, focused on the new, pretty skin that comes into view. When Sunoo’s cock is freed, bobbing along his stomach with how hard he is and dabbing precum onto his own skin, Jay grabs at him with a tight fist. Sunoo cries out.
“Please,” he whines, his first words in a while. He’s so clearly overwhelmed, hips still trembling below Jay. Jay lets out a fond chuckle, watching Sunoo get more and more out of his mind. The poor boy probably hasn’t been touched since the first time they fucked, and Jay plans to rectify that. He starts a brutal pace on Sunoo’s dick, the slide tending toward the drier side even with the copious amounts of precum slicking the way.
Sunoo jerks in his hold, like he’s trying to decide whether he wants to fuck up into the pleasure or escape from it. Jay doesn’t particularly care, not giving him much of a choice as he strips his cock with one hand. Sunoo babbles, getting closer to the edge with each stroke. He’s bucking his hips up now, clearly choosing to chase the pressure of Jay’s hand and whining into each thrust.
Jay’s dick aches in his own pajama pants, and he lines it up against Sunoo’s hip, thrusting against his soft skin. Even through his bottoms, Sunoo’s warmth makes him throb.
He keeps fisting at Sunoo’s cock, and Sunoo fucks up a few more times before he’s coming, spurting jizz all over Jay’s hand and his own stomach. Sunoo sobs his way through it, chest falling and rising rapidly with each wave. He shakes through his orgasm, and Jay just wants more. He barely lets Sunoo rest, spitting onto the fingers of one hand and sliding them up under Sunoo’s thighs to his hole. He doesn’t want to hurt him or anything, but he needs to be inside him, and quickly.
Jay rubs against the furl of Sunoo’s asshole, and it gives underneath the pressure. Fuck. Fuck, his mind reels. Sunoo is already wet, open and ready to take his cock.
His favorite boy is a slut for him.
He can’t take it anymore, pressing a finger inside without preamble. Sunoo’s head drops back, letting out a pathetic noise into the quiet room. Jay grins like a shark about to bite, and starts pumping his finger in and out, not caring how rough he’s being. He knows Sunoo can take it. He knows he doesn’t have a choice.
Sunoo is thrashing his body side to side as much as he can, so overwhelmed by the pleasure he’s feeling that he can barely speak. He’s letting out little whimpers, and when Jay adds a second finger, and a third, the sounds just get louder, longer, until he’s fully crying, snuffling into the crook of his elbow as Jay fingerfucks him. Jay whispers to him, shushing him gently and telling him how good he’s being, how tight he feels. He tells him he’s being a perfect little slut, and Sunoo chokes on a sob.
Jay finds the spot inside of Sunoo that makes him jerk like he’s been electrocuted, and takes care to press on it periodically, just to tease Sunoo. He wants to bend Sunoo, wants to break him. He wants to own every part of him, wants to keep Sunoo just like this. He already took his virginity, what’s the rest of his life, right?
He’s at his limit, cock throbbing painfully in his pants. He pulls it out, and leans over to the bedside table, squirting some lotion onto his hand and slathering it along his length. He trembles at the feeling, so ready to take Sunoo, and lines himself up without a word. Sunoo gasps as he pushes in, splitting him open with his cock. He feels fucking incredible, entire body shaking with how tight Sunoo is.
The stretch is excruciating even from his end, rearranging Sunoo’s guts with his cock, and he winces in sympathy as Sunoo cries harder. He’s squeezing him so right, sucking him in like he was built for this, for Jay to take him apart. Sunoo grabs onto Jay’s forearms with short, sharp nails, tears streaming down his face, and Jay’s cock twitches so hard he almost pulls a muscle in his leg.
When he’s fully seated, he lets out a long groan. It feels so right, dick stuck inside this beautiful boy. Jay leans down to kiss Sunoo, licking at his open mouth and dragging his tongue across his cheeks to collect his tears. He groans again at the salty taste, loving every bit of it, as sick as it is. He pulls out some of the way and fucks back in slowly, shallowly, letting Sunoo adjust.
It doesn’t take long for Sunoo to start making noise again, sounding so sweet with every thrust of Jay’s hips. He’s letting out these little hiccuping sounds, gasping and still crying, and Jay feels rabid. He wants to bite at Sunoo, wants to sink his teeth in his skin and shred him. He licks across his own lips, and shoves that thought down for later. They’ll have plenty of time.
Jay fucks into Sunoo hard, hips slamming against Sunoo’s lovely ass, and the clutch of his hole around Jay’s cock makes him feel insane. His hand finds its way to Sunoo’s cock again, circling it with a tight fist cruelly, and he laughs when Sunoo’s face screws up in sensitivity. Sunoo is just so pretty when he cries, Jay doesn’t want it to stop just yet. He starts up another brutal rhythm, fisting the head and forcing Sunoo to take it. And he does, back arching so beautifully as Jay fucks him.
His balls throb, and he’s no quickshot, but he’s been waiting so long for this that he knows he won’t last. His brain feels foggy with pleasure, and he grabs at Sunoo’s hip with one hand as he kicks his hips up into him even faster, even harder. He’s jackhammering in like a teenager, and it feels so good he barely notices Sunoo clenching even harder, coming on the spot all over Jay’s fingers once again. He keeps jerking Sunoo off, squeezing just to fuck with him as he comes down, and the way Sunoo tightens around him spells the end.
He fucks up once, twice, and on the third he stills, hips flush against Sunoo’s ass as a groan rips its way out of his throat and he comes so hard he sees white. When his vision clears, he’s panting, still thrusting shallowly into Sunoo’s abused hole. He looks down and laughs to himself when he sees Sunoo passed out, mouth open. He pets his hair and leaves kisses on his forehead after pulling out. A spill of come follows, and Jay grins wildly again at the sight. If only Sunoo was awake to appreciate it. He pulls his phone out from his jeans and snaps a picture for good measure.
It’s time to clean up and take care of his favorite boy. Tonight, right now—but Jay takes a look at him sleeping, tears and drool sliding their way down his face, and makes plans for forever, too. Just in case.