Shadow of a Raven

by Havran

Summary:

After Harry is turned by a vampire the summer after fourth year he must navigate a side of the war that he didn't know existed, learn to control his changing magic, and avoid getting a stake ran through his heart. Just another year for the ex-savior, or so he tries to convince himself.

Notes:

Welcome to my first ever posted story, I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think in the comments, as well as the direction you imagine it going. I have a general idea of what the story is going to consist of, but the characters always have a mind of their own. It seems they gain sentience the more time I spend writing them. The tags listed contain what I am currently planning the story to contain, and will add more as they become relevant.
May the odds be ever in Harry's favor.

Chapter 1: Chapter One

There was a lot to be said for having the certainty of food, shelter, and companionship. 
All of these things he had taken for granted three months ago. 

 

Three months ago, his relatives had been yelling at him as per usual.

 

Three months ago, his aunt had been slipping soup through the door, and even though it had not been much, it was predictable. 

 

Three months ago, he had not needed to consume blood just to retain a meager level of existence. 

 

Three months ago, the relative safety of his home had been compromised. 

 

After all, Dumbledore had not anticipated Vernon bringing a threat into the house of his own accord. 

 

If Vernon had known that the man he had brought into his home would proceed to suck him dry and leave him as a husk on the floor, the evening would have ended very differently. 

If Aunt Petunia had been home, perhaps she would have been able to have a chance at negating the threat. 

However, neither of those things had been the case, and as Harry was locked in his room, lacking a wand, and bruised from the last time his uncle had visited him, he had no defense when the man sought him out. 

 

The fresh blood that seeped from his wounds certainly would have been a beacon for the man. 

If the man had not noticed the scar of his forehead, the night also would have ended very differently. 

However, all of the speculation in the world would not change the current circumstances that he found himself in. 

 

The man had found amusement in leaving a turned Harry Potter alone in a home that soon would house fresh blood. The fact that it would be blood related to Harry made it all the more amusing to the man.

 

Harry wished he could refer to the one who turned him as anything more specific than ‘the man.’ 
He had no idea who it was, only that Harry had simply been entertainment for the evening, in more ways than as a simple food source. 

 

Harry tried not to think on that too hard. 

 

The act of drinking blood often left the victim as being more receptive to advances, and Harry had been no different before the turning fully took. 
Even now, drinking blood brought on a guilty pleasure. 

 

It would be all too easy to give into the instincts that had grown over the last few months. To fully become the monster that the light would without a doubt label him as. 

He wished he could say the instincts were repulsive to him. In truth, it was only the memory of his friends and pseudo family that made him shy away from what otherwise would come second nature. 

 

When he caved in and drank from humans, when the hunger got too intense, it was as though his inner instincts rewarded him through the pleasure that would fill him. From the buzzing hum in his head to the warmth that went straight through his being. 

The memory of what the last time he caved felt like is what drew him out of hiding tonight. 

 

There was always a hesitance to go out hunting, whether it was for a human or animal. 
Worry as to whether someone would recognize him was always present. 

 

Tonight the hunger was too strong to ignore, and he had to admit that the feeling of pleasure a good meal brought was more than a little addictive. 

There was a reason the order would call him a monster. 

 

The cold seeped into his bones, the autumn chill ever-present these days. At night it sometimes got downright frigid. 
In Britain it was a blessing that it wasn’t also raining, that would have made the hunt difficult. 

 

Once a hint of copper filled his senses, his limbs started moving in that direction almost without his consent. 
He was so hungry aches had started forming in his joints.

 

Though the darkness covered much of his movement, the alley he had walked into wasn’t completely devoid of light. A shaded window from a story above where he stood brought a soft light to the alley, and the human leaning against the wall facing away from him froze. 
Harry’s shadow was cast against the wall from the window’s light, and his prey was in no position to fight back.

 

The smell of blood was strong, and the heavy jacket covering the wounds had a dark red patch spreading through its right side. 

On the verge of unconsciousness, brought closer by the new shock, the man collapsed to his knees and his shaking worsened. 

 

Stalking closer to the man, Harry felt his hesitance fall to the back of his mind, his instincts starting to take over. 
Blood was right in front of him, and the prey was unable to fight back. As much of a thrill as fighting for his food was, compliance made the meal sweeter in a way. 

 

Kneeling down next to his meal, he could hear the quick beat of the man’s heart, much like a rabbit’s. The bleeding must have been recent if his pulse had not had time to start slowing. 

 

Figuring there must have been another reason the man was so compliant, Harry gave him a quick once over. Eyes landed on his legs, the bloody jeans explained his lack of flight. 

A soft grin crossed Harry’s face.

 

“You don’t have any hope do you?” He crooned in the man’s ear, noting the quick intake of breath that followed his statement, blue eyes closing in a pained grimace. 

 

Three months ago he would never have pictured himself taunting his food. Or casually calling humans food to begin with.

Living on the run in the streets forces a person to adapt. His friends would hate to see how he’s changed.

 

The man he was currently prepping for consumption, so to speak, had started to drift. The blood loss was obviously impacting his brain function. 

So as to not waste any more food, Harry pulled the collar of the jacket away from the man’s neck. 
He could feel venom filling his mouth in anticipation, and his new vampire instincts thrived on the fear the man was exuding. 

 

Biting down on the man’s jugular, endorphins flooded his system as the blood flowed into his mouth. The man gasped, eyes fluttering, barely holding onto consciousness, the will to live attempting to override the pull of the darkness. 

 

As more blood flowed, and the heart rate slowed, Harry felt the greatly anticipated warmth spread through his limbs. The nights were cold enough without blood deprivation deadening his being, quite literally. 

 

The pleasure feeding brought still caused a hint of embarrassment, but in the moment, the thrill of the slowing heart overrode his remaining humanity. 

 

As the pull of the blood began to slow, Harry felt his instincts start to settle. He felt properly satiated for the first time in days, and every time he lost a little of the rationale for waiting to eat. 

 

Unfortunately, the more often he ate, the more likely it was that he would be found. There was only so much that could be dismissed by the local authorities before the magical world caught wind of the patterns. All it would take is one muggleborn mentioning what they read in the papers for someone to recognize that a vampire was involved.

 

Hearing the heartbeat slow to a stop, Harry disengaged his fangs. The man collapsed to the side as he was let go. 

 

Another aspect of his life now that he would have been ashamed of three months ago was how easy it was to search the dead man’s pockets for a wallet. Living on the streets wasn’t easy, and even a vampire on the run needed funds. 

 

Finding what he was looking for, he took out the few pounds that were in the pockets and looked at the man’s ID. 

 

Harry murmured while standing, “Justin McDonald eh? I hope you find peace wherever you are.” Stuffing the bills in his pocket, he stood by for a moment. It was hard to take in just how much had changed, but there would be nothing gained by ignoring what he needed to live. As much as he sometimes wished he could, it was illogical. Despite what his friends had seemed to think, he wasn’t an idiot. 

 

Hearing someone walk closer to the alley, he walked further, getting himself out of the light of the window. The alley went straight through to the next street, and he walked away casually. When he first started consuming blood from humans he had been a jittery mess afterward, afraid he would be caught. This worry had soothed over time, figuring there must be some form of magic involved. There seemed to be no other explanation for why he hadn’t been caught.

 

Keeping his keen ears on the alley, he found himself three blocks away before he heard the body being discovered. 
As the police were being called, he couldn’t stop a small grin from forming in response to their panicked heartbeats. He was sated now, so it wasn’t tempting, but something within him purred.

 

These thoughts caused his footsteps to stutter slightly. 

He may be a vampire, and he may need blood to survive, but causing terror for the sake of terror was not something he savored when not in the midst of blood lust. 

 

He tried to convince himself this was a part of his humanity that he could cling to, but he also knew three months ago he would not be able to recognize who he was today. 

 

He was changing, and he didn’t know how far he would fall. Or who would be there to catch him when he was inevitably found.

Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Notes:

I’m a little stunned at the bit of traction this story has already gotten. I also realized after the fact that a lot of these tags have less than 1k stories to their name, and several with less than half of that, which is kinda insane.
Thank you to those who have already subscribed, and bookmarked, and given kudos to this story!! It's a thrill to see, and absolutely makes my day. Looking forward to continuing writing. Enjoy!

As his stomach began to cramp, he surreptitiously hugged his abdomen with one arm. The need to go out and hunt had become more of a priority. It had been several days since he drained his last victim, and his already pale skin was starting to look translucent. 

 

Though being sated all of the time would be much more pleasant than the constant ache he currently dealt with, the trail would be far too obvious. He was already testing the boundaries of what he could get away with. 

 

That reminder got him through most days, and the limited food made his meals all the more enjoyable. So to speak. Actually, not even so to speak come to think of it. 

 

Anyway. 

 

Looking around the street, he watched everyone go about their day to day business. 

 

Going to work, headed to another tourist trap, or just strolling through the city. London was an excellent place to get lost, and many were too distracted with their own agendas to notice a scrap of a teenager wandering down the street. 

 

Living on the street for five months has left him filthy. While not ideal, it helped keep a perimeter around himself, no one wanting to get close to the stench that surrounded him. 

 

He was turned in the beginning of summer holiday, and while it wasn’t literally freezing yet, the light decorating the streets told of colder weather to come. 

 

Despite the cold, London was also a good place to spend time lounging in one of the many parks. One of his favorite parts of the city. 

 

With it being perpetually wet, it limited those who were picnicking and people-watching, compared to the spring and summer months. 

Perfect for someone who did not particularly want to be noticed. 

 

Settling down on one of the many benches, he let his head fall back in exhaustion. Running low on blood as he was, there was only so much wandering through the city in the middle of swarms of people that he could take. 

 

There was always the possibility of the police noticing he was hanging around for too long, but a latent notice-me-not seemed to be attached to him.

Though not purposeful, it had certainly been helpful. 

 

Noticing there was a charm to being with had taken a while. 

 

He had suspected for a while that something was happening that was preventing his presence from being noticed, but the longer he was on the streets, the more he noticed latent magic around the city.

 

It had taken getting extraordinarily close to his body shutting down for him to notice the subtly of what he could only describe as auras. 

It sounded insane to him at the time, at first thinking he was hallucinating. He did not know if he could have developed this ability without becoming a vampire, but what he noticed matched what he could see physically.

 

Someone’s apartment had wards that were glowing green. The apartment owner was noticeably cautious in their movements, and once you knew to look, they had a wand holster on their arm. 

This same shade of green was seen on a few other buildings in London, and it was always a fixed object or place. 

 

A person walking down the street, dressed in a slightly odd manner, that glowed a subtle purple. 

Once this person thought they were alone, after waving their wand and muttering a few words Harry couldn’t remember, their appearance shifted with the disappearance of the purple glow. 

 

A lot of random humans had a slight white glow around them, which had made him paranoid beyond belief before he figured this likely was the result of Obliviation. So many people were exposed to tactless or careless wizards that those in charge of making sure the muggles remained clueless likely had their hands full. 

 

Thankfully when he fed, magic -as the ministry monitors- is not used, preventing their team from being dispatched. 

 

The colors always had a corresponding effect, and for the first two weeks after he had discovered the glow of the magic, it was incredibly disorientating. 

 

Though the glow made it easier to avoid those with magic, the added level of awareness had also given him a migraine. 

Thankfully after those two weeks, he had been able to mute his constant awareness of the auras. 

It was a useful skill, but one that is better to use consciously rather than passively. 

 

Noting a group of people start to take a bit too much interest in him, he got back up on his feet, put up his jacket’s hood, and continued east. Spending a bit of time outside of central London may help people forget he was there. 

 

The notice-me-not charm only works so long as people do not start to recognize him subconsciously, and seeing him around the area for long enough creates a noticeable pattern of life. So to speak. Of his un-life? No, that’s too much. 

 

His loneliness was getting the best of him, either that he was going slowly insane. Which was a possibility. 

It was fine to talk to himself so long as he didn’t talk back, right? Sounded about right.

 

Forced isolation was starting to get old, and he missed the days when he at least had Hedwig to talk to. Then it didn’t seem so strange to effectively talk to himself. 

 

The only time he spent time with people these days was to suck them dry, and not in the fun way. Taking the time to make it halfway fun would be too dangerous. 

 

And immoral. Shouldn’t forget that. 

 

Just because the victim could feel pleasure while being drained didn’t mean they consented to that feeling being acted upon. He knew that from experience. 

 

That should prevent him from wanting to force that pleasure on someone else, but the high was addictive. 

 

Harry was certain there must be a way to control it, but without learning from other vampires, he was just making this up as he went. 

Instincts would only get him so far, but he could not imagine finding any other vampires he would want to spend the time of day -night, ha- with. 

 

He missed passing letters to his friends, even though they often didn’t respond during the summer months. 

 

He missed talking with his dogfather and ranting back and forth about how wizarding politics didn’t make any sense. 

 

His heart ached when he thought about Sirius. 

 

Not knowing whether or not his godfather would accept him as a vampire was what kept him from persisting in locating Sirius and/or Remus. 

 

Wizarding society may have made a law against killing vampires, but the prejudice never left. (1)

 

Remus being a werewolf should be more understanding about Harry being turned into a dark creature, but the uncertainty still held strong. 

 

Remus hated his werewolf half, and contempt seemed to fill his voice when it was brought up. 

Harry thought Remus’s werewolf looked more sickly than monstrous, but that was his own opinion. 

 

He’s sure if he locked his vampire instincts away for years he wouldn’t be doing so hot either. 

He also wouldn’t be alive, so to speak, but that’s beside the point. 

 

“I need to eat, my thoughts are starting to ramble.” Speaking aloud, even if it was just a mumble, was cathartic in a way. 

Not using his voice for so long was undoubtedly also not helping his mental state.

 

Harry had gotten far too used to taking his fill of human blood. As satisfying as it was, animal blood would have to suffice for the evening. 

 

Veering off the street and into the nearby scatter of trees, which was the best he could do in a city like London, he started hunting for something that would at least sate him for a few days. Enough to get rid of the pain. 

 

He tried draining an injured pigeon once in desperation, and he could still remember the disgusting taste that was left in his mouth. 

 

He also had drank from someone who was high once, and that was an experience and a half. He had been floating for the rest of the day. It was lucky he hadn’t gotten caught from his resulting inattention. 

 

He always checked his victim’s eyes beforehand after that experience. 

 

Pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a broken branch, he stilled. 

 

About two cars length away was a small deer. He’d seen these outside of the window when being driven to the Dursley’s from Kings Cross Station, but they usually were dead on the side of the road. 

He vaguely remembered them being called a Reeve’s… something. 

 

All he cared about at the moment was making that deer, whatever it was called, his dinner. 

 

With the deer standing only half a meter tall it would be a small meal, but it would be something. 

 

Sending a sense of calm to the animal, he waited until he could see it relax. 

 

About a month ago this ability was also discovered out of desperation. Seemed to be his luck. 

 

Stalking closer to the small deer, Harry couldn’t help but be thankful for the development.

 

Catching small prey had been beyond difficult in the first couple of months, though his determination to limit the number of humans he consumed drove him to get better at the chase. 

 

He felt a pang of vague guilt as his fangs punctured the neck of the animal. While his guilt remained through the months, its effect on his mental state lessened. Arguably not a good thing, but needs must. 

 

The blood tasted sweet on his tongue, and he couldn’t stop a moan from escaping his lips. 

 

As much as he didn’t want to be found by Dumbledore or the ministry -he knew how they would react-, he was getting tired of being starving. 

 

He pressed on his limits before every meal, and waiting until it was dangerous could not be healthy in the long run. 

 

As the familiar warmth spread and the body in his arms lightened, he let out of heavy sigh as the blood flow stopped. Setting down the body of the deer, leaving it for other predators to finish off, he rose to his feet again. 

 

His stomach was no longer cramping, but it didn’t quite take the thirst away. The borderline hunger was almost maddening. 

 

His time on the run would come to an end soon, whether forcibly or by chance. He could continue to barely get by, but his quality of being was slowly decreasing. 

 

What he would do when he got caught -and it always was a when, not an if- had been on his mind since he started living on the streets. 

 

Would he go to Diagon Alley and hope his disguise held?

 

Would he look for one of the people he knew to have wards and seek assistance? Which would be beyond risky. 

 

He could always go back to The London Library to where he knew there were magical books if the wards were any indication. Perhaps there would be some information he could use.

 

Lots of avenues he could take, but hesitation -isn’t he supposed to be a Gryffindor?- always held him back.

 

The fear of being caught in a situation outside of his design. 

 

Learning as much as he could through the limited resources he had available was all he could do for now.

 

Looking briefly toward the light of the city he had been walking away from, he kept walking through the outskirts of London. 

 

The next time he fed, he wouldn’t stop until he was satisfied. 

 

The grin that spread across his face was one of anticipation, and the warmth he was now filled with had him walking with an extra spring to his step. Next time, he would let himself have a little fun. 

 

He would risk exposure to gather some more information, give himself a chance a bettering his existence, but why not set out to Diagon with a full stomach?

Notes:

Not much dialogue while he's on his lonesome, but it will pick up soon!! Excited to get the ball rolling.

( 1 ) Paragraph 12 of The Guidelines for the Treatment of Non-Wizard Part-Humans addresses how vampires are to be treated, and "prohibits them from being killed arbitrarily." However, in 1994 Rita Skeeter made calls for that to be changed, according to Percy Weasley.

Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Notes:

Writing from Wales this week! I’m taking leave off from work so I can buy books and write xD (anyone close to Hay-on-Wye, I recommend it!!)
A brief intermission from Harry’s escapades, a view into what on earth Dumbledore has been doing while Harry has been wandering around London! Then the obligatory check in with Gringotts, I'm sorry. Thank you to everyone who has shown this story love! I appreciate you all. I’ve never written Dumbledore before… here goes! Enjoy!!

The tension at the table was palpable. Dumbledore sat calmly sucking on a lemon drop while Sirius and Remus stared him down. With the rest of the order looking back and forth between the men, there was a split between those who held unwavering faith in the elderly headmaster, and those who had gotten tired of his bullshit. 

 

“Albus, you’ve said for months that you had this investigation under control.” Sirius glared harshly at the man across from his, words coming out sharp. “I understand the need for the investigation to be conducted privately to a degree, but this is starting to take a ridiculously long time.” Leaning back, crossing his arms, he noted the headmaster didn’t so much as look up from the teacup he was holding.

 

“Now my boy-”

 

“I am not your boy! I am almost 36 years old. Hogwarts was a long time ago old man.” This time there was a growl in his voice, and to his right Remus let out a sharp exhale of agreement.

 

The placating tone that Albus had attempted quickly turned into a severe frown. The first show of actual emotion in this conversation. 

 

“That may be, but you know I have Harry’s best interest in mind. You know how he likes to stay out of the public’s eye. Telling everyone he is accounted for buys us time.” The frown faded as he spoke, attempting to save face. 

 

“That time is coming quickly to an end, and should already have run out a long time ago, and you know it. At this point, you’re just trying to save your reputation.” Sirius sneered with the last few words and noted that Snape’s gaze seemed to sharpen as the conversation progressed.

 

The Weasley matriarch quickly and quite loudly jumped to the headmaster’s defense. “Sirius Black! That is too far! He only wants what is best, we would not be doing the poor dear any favors by publicizing his disappearance. Why, then anyone could find him!” She looked scandalized by the end, and her eldest looked at her disgusted. 

 

Speaking straight to the headmaster, Bill gave him a hard look. “At least then he would be found. From what you all have said it sounds like he wasn’t healthy to begin with, and being missing for five months is not going to help his condition.” 

 

The order was quiet for a moment, and Sirius noted that Snape’s eyes had narrowed at the usage of the word ‘condition.’ He was missing something, but no one seemed inclined to fill him in. 

 

Deciding to push, Sirius looked right at Snape with narrowed eyes as he attempted again to gain some clarity. “The lack of answers is starting to get extremely old Albus. I don’t even know what his relatives had to say on his disappearance, and as Bill said, it’s been five months." Turning his gaze back to Albus, he continued. "He witnessed something at the end of the school year that undoubtably traumatized him. Who knows how he's handling that mentally.  I’m done being patient.” 

 

Albus looked slightly constipated at this, and Sirius couldn’t help but feel a bit vindictive. He had tried to be patient. Certainly some progress must have been made, but five months without Harry being brought home was unacceptable. 

 

Attempting to send his best disappointed look in Sirius’s direction, Dumbledore paused before quietly responding. “Harry’s aunt and uncle were not available for a response when we checked in with them.” Gaining the attention of everyone at the table, even those who had started to fade from the conversation, his voice became harder. “A few days after we failed to receive an owl from Harry, one of his scheduled check-ins, Alaster went to Privet Drive to determine why he broke contact. 

 

He tried to maintain his distance, to see if he could catch sight of Harry before returning to headquarters. Unfortunately, after a prolonged surveillance, none of the residents made an appearance.” 

 

Putting on an air of fatigue, he sighed before taking another sip of his tea. Looking into the porcelain, he continued. Once again speaking quietly, this time resigned, anticipating the effect his words would have. 

 

“Once Alaster was certain no one was in the house, he went in to investigate, supposing they went on a vacation and brought Harry with them for once.” Everyone in the room knew how unlikely that was. “What he found was why we have not brought the ministry into our search.” 

 

Looking at Sirius and then Remus, he seemed to weigh his words, deciding whether or not it was worth spreading the information they had hidden for months. Seeing Remus’s eyes beginning to take on a feral edge, he took the dive. 

 

“Petunia’s husband was a husk, there no other word for it. Fang marks were prominent on his neck.” Gasps filled the room, and everyone took on a sharpened posture. Albus seemed to age before them. “Worse was Petunia and her son.”

 

“Worse headmaster?! How on earth could they be worse!” Molly screeched from her position several seats from Albus, and he looked pained. 

 

“It easily could be worse, couldn’t it? At least that shows he died quickly. The others weren’t so lucky, were they headmaster?” Bill keenly eyed the elderly man, a knowing look settling on his face. 

 

“Young William is correct. Alaster found Petunia and Dudley Dursley mauled. Their necks were torn open, and it looks to have been accomplished by a newly turned vampire. There were signs of struggle in Harry's room, and the door was broken down from the inside.” 

 

Remus, who had been quiet for the majority of the meeting, letting Sirius speak their part, suddenly flew from his seat, eyes bright gold. 

 

“WHAT?”

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Harry was having the best time he’d had in months. 

 

While there was always the possibility of someone catching enough details under his hood to recognize him, it was enough of a relief to be around dense magic for the first time in months that he wished he had caved months earlier. 

 

Thankfully the jacket he was able to obtain several weeks ago from a considerate stranger had a large hood, and it minimized the worry. 

 

Being around people was thankfully not a temptation at the moment, as his last meal was still settling nicely. A wide smirk spread across his face and a satisfied hum escaped with that recollection.

 

 Someone to his left gave him a wary glance at that sound, which only deepened his satisfaction. 

 

He knew he was slipping. 

 

Gaining pleasure from the discomfort of others, feeling a general detachment from humans. After all, he wasn’t one anymore, however much he wanted to hold onto that for the longest time. 

 

Desperation and starvation are cruel teachers, and now he finally was going to try to gain information to help him understand exactly what he had become. 

 

He had already determined that going to the order was out, and the familiar ache that thought brought reappeared. 

 

Whether or not Sirius and Remus would support him, hopefully they would understand his hesitance. 

 

First, giving himself a solid background in what he is. Vampires were touched on in DADA, but not in near enough depth for someone who found themselves suddenly with that classification. 

 

Seeing the white walls of Gringotts just ahead, Harry quickened his pace. It would be nice to have money to work with again rather than just picking the pockets of his victims.

 

Which he could still do, but that wouldn’t get him the galleons he needed. 

 

Glancing at the engraved inscription on the doors, reminiscing that he now at least vaguely qualified for their warning, even though he had no intention of stealing from the bank. Other people as opportunity provided, but he wasn’t suicidal. 

 

Walking up to the nearest counter, he waited until acknowledged. Eyebrow raised when he was thusly ignored for several minutes. 

 

Finally the goblin deigned to lower their quill and peer down at him, not without an admirable put-upon expression. 

 

“Yes? Can we help you..?” After that quality sneer, Harry was tempted to reply in kind, though knew it was counterproductive. 

 

“Harry Potter, looking to make a withdrawal from my vault. I don’t have my key.” Professionalism was the way to go. Even though he had to wonder what a goblin tasted like. Bad thoughts! 

 

“And which vault would you like to withdraw from Lord Potter?” The goblin looked at him with a bored expression, more than a little condescending. 

 

Interesting. The title didn’t seem accurate, but he wasn’t going to complain. And having only visited one vault, it seemed self-explanatory, but better to play it safe. 

 

“If I may have an inventory before I decide please?” This caused the goblin to look faintly more interested.

 

“Certainly. One moment.” 

 

Standing in the middle of the bank waiting for the goblin to return was not the situation he would have preferred, though his interest was now peaked. 

 

After several minutes the goblin returned with a scroll, setting it down on the podium.

 

“Place your finger on the parchment and let your magic saturate it to confirm your identity. It will then create a summary of the vaults’ contents. Your key can then also be replaced for a fee.” The smirk that followed that last sentence was greedy, and he admired it a little. 

 

Thankful they had not asked him to do this when he was 11, as he was doubtful he would have known how.

 

"Why isn't blood used? It seems like it would be a more accessible method?" No reason not to sate my curiosity.

 

This had him receiving a look of mild derision and a small sneer. "You are a vampire are you not? General accessibility for that method does not apply in your situation." 

 

Which.. should have been obvious. Right. At least it answered if they knew he was a vampire.

Clearing his throat, he looked down and quickly moved on, letting his magic flow into the scroll.

 

Words started to fill the page, and he noted there was a trust vault as well as a main Potter vault. While the trust vault had 500 galleons in it, likely topped off from the main vault after it had been accessed prior, the main vault had nearly 53,000 galleons in it. In addition to the galleons, it also had heirlooms, books, and even portraits. I won’t get my hopes up.

 

Slightly stunned, he looked up at the teller. “How many pounds would that translate to?” His voice was a bit faint, but he felt it was justified.

 

“Roughly 265,000 pounds.” The goblin looked less than impressed by his reaction, which might be his resting face, but remained relatively professional. “Which account would you like to withdraw from, and do you desire new keys to be created?” The impatience starting to show through.

 

“The main Potter vault please, and new keys would be appreciated. Is there any way for me to carry larger amount of galleons and pounds with me? After not being able to visit Gringotts for a while, I don’t want to be stuck without funds again.” Who knew if he would be able to visit again any time soon, he hardly knew what he was going to do next week at this point. 

 

This question seemed to brighten the goblin’s mood if only slightly. “Indeed Lord Potter. If you wear your lordship ring, you may simply press the signet onto a check. In the muggle world, we have a card available for an additional fee.”

 

Of course it was another fee. However, as he was lacking a ring, it was time to own up to his ignorance. 

 

“Unfortunately I have not claimed my ring. What is the procedure to get that taken care of?” 

 

This got a momentary stare from the goblin, and Harry found himself fidgeting slightly. 

 

“Follow me to one of the conference rooms Lord Potter.” 

 

Aaand, apparently he reached the threshold of what can be accomplished simply. It’s better than being out in the open anyway. 

 

Along the way, about halfway down the hallway they were walking through, the goblin he was following stopped another and muttered to grab the Potter Lordship ring. Good hearing was helpful sometimes. 

 

Reaching the conference room, number 3 according to the door, they situated themselves at the mahogany desk. 

 

“While we wait for the ring to be brought in, what communication have you received from Gringotts in the last year Lord Potter?” The sneer was gone, and in its place was a look of what might be called concern. Not that he would dare.

 

“I’ve never received letter concerning my vaults.”

 

It looked like he was expecting this answer, though he wasn’t pleased. In the least. 

 

“I see.” The goblin- actually, what was his name?

 

“Pardon me, but what is your name? So I might know who to reference if needed in the future?” This got a look of appreciation, at least.

 

“My name is Griphook, Lord Potter.”

 

“Thank you Griphook! I appreciate your assistance.” Sending what he hoped was a friendly smile in his direction. Can’t hurt to get on their good side.

 

“Certainly Lord Potter.” Seeing the other goblin set a small box on the desk, he impatiently waited for the go-ahead from Griphook. 

 

The ring was fairly unassuming, thankfully. The signet was its most prominent feature understandably. The Potter crest displayed with impressive detail. 

 

“Now that you have your ring, as is your right. Perhaps now it is most prudent to inquire if the paperwork that came into our office, concerning emancipation by way of approval for entrance to the Tri-Wizard Tournament, might have come to be?”

 

Harry stared at Griphook for several seconds. 

 

“Pardon me? Emancipation?”

This once again had him receiving a look of impatience. 

 

“Yes, the acknowledgment by the ministry that you are now an adult, and thus Lord Potter rather than Heir Potter.”

 

Pausing to consider, Harry stilled as the reason clicked.

 

“The contract stated that only those who were older than 17 were allowed to participate. As the ministry approved of my participation, it must have begun the emancipation process.” He found himself staring at the back wall at this realization. 

 

He had been considered an adult by the ministry for more than a year now. And he had no clue. It was likely even the ministry didn't know.

 

“That would indeed have been enough to start the process. You should have received a letter from Gringotts acknowledging this change and establishing your access to the main vault. That policy requires acquisition of the ring to be conducted in person is fortunate.”

 

Another subject to research, ways in which letters may be intercepted. It seems doubtful the goblins would have failed to notice one of their eagles returning injured. 

 

“Thank you Griphook, this meeting has been very helpful.”

 

“Certainly Lord Potter. Do you still desire to make a withdrawal?”

 

“Yes please. Maybe some of the books in the vault may be helpful.” 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Walking down Diagon Alley, now with the ability to shop for what he needed, he felt like his steps were lighter than they had been going into the bank. 

 

His situation was still bleak relative to prior years, but he had properties. He had money to pull from. And he now had even more means to solidify a foundation to his new life. 

 

He could not rely on his old support systems. For what they were worth. Not much, they never listened anyway. Except for Sirius. At least with a Lordship, if someone decided he was better off dead, now for his creature status instead of his name, he had more prestige to lean on. 

 

The Boy-Who-Lived title (and isn’t that ironic now) was fickle at best, but a Lordship was more constant. 

 

The books in his vault were less helpful than he had been hoping. The Black family’s vault would probably be more likely to house something helpful to his situation. The portraits had also been a disappointment. He told himself he wouldn't get his hopes up, but failed spectacularly.

 

Regardless, he now had the afternoon to shop, and hopefully locate some useful information. 

 

Pulling his hood forward slightly, he turned toward Flourish and Blotts, ready to begin his acquisition of knowledge. He was also looking forward to buying a proper robe with a hood that had an obscuring charm. More reliable than having to trust shadows. He could not rely on a notice-me-not charm in this world, that would make him more of a target. 

 

While wandering through the alley and gathering the necessities, his thoughts wandered to Knockturn Alley. There certainly would be books there that would give insight to his situation. If he wasn't such a recognizable figure, they presumably would not care if he was a vampire. Perhaps he should look into ways to change his appearance. All it would take to be found is someone pulling down his hood. 

 

He could relax more now that he had a skeleton of a plan.  

 

Those who would seek to harm him before would be in for a shock if they tried again now. Granted those who tried to harm him before may very well be the less likely group to hurt him now, though he couldn't count on that.

 

The Harry Potter of five months ago would have shied away from those dark streets, but as he is now, there is a draw that is almost magnetic. 

 

Now that he was amongst magic again for the first time in months, he couldn’t imagine himself leaving again, risks be damned. 

 

Notes:

And now I'm going to go pass out xD Almost midnight, but no work tomorrow! Here's to that. Just had to finished this chapter before turning in!

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 4: Chapter Four

Notes:

One of the books I bought today (“Letters to Dead Authors” by A. Lang, 1892) said of Jane Austen: “You are not a very popular author: your volumes are not found in gaudy covers on every bookstall…” And if that tells me anything, those who write? Keep writing! Keep it up! Who knows whose lives we can touch, even if we can’t live to see it. Sometimes it just takes a long minute.
And here’s the next chapter!! None of the shops here are open from 1700-0900, so I got time xD

Harry paused for a moment at the doorknob his hand was hovering over. As he grasped it, he gasped as it seemed to shock him slightly before warming. Though he had never had a home, he could feel it settling into his bones. 

Taking a breath, he opened the door. 

 

Looking around the entryway he had just entered, it was surprisingly tasteful. 

 

One of the properties that had been noted in the inventory provided by Gringotts was a townhouse in London, which was a little insane. 

 

If nothing else, that spoke of how much money the Potter family had in the past. According to a genealogy book he had found in Diagon, the Potters used to have many times more than what the inventory stated. As James never grew to be old enough to earn back what he likely spent, and from what he read his grandparents had not worked for quite some time before they passed, it made sense that the family wealth had dwindled. 

 

It would have been a different story if they had invested instead of letting the galleons sit in the vault, but what’s done is done. 

 

Lowering his hood and walking further down the hallway, he came across a large open room that was obviously cared for. No dust covered the chairs, and the picture frames on the fireplace mantel looked as though they had been placed there yesterday. 

 

Feeling a little silly, he attempted to call for any elves that might be in the property, jumping a little when one popped suddenly in front of him. 

 

“Master Harry! Millie is happy to meet yous!” Unlike Dobby, Millie was wearing a clean white uniform of sorts, a loose-fitting dress almost. On the chest it had the Potter crest displayed proudly. 

 

“I’m pleased to meet you as well Millie!” He couldn’t help but smile down at her. No matter how dark his last few months had been, this little elf seemed to exude happy energy. 

 

“Are you the only elf working for the Potter family Millie?” Her face fell slightly at his question, which was an answer in itself.

 

“Yes Master Harry. Millie had a mate, Zeesy, until shortly before when Master Harry would be at Hoggywarts.” She looked down at her feet when she said this, understandably. 

 

Four years she had been alone, presumably only in this house. That’s a lot of solitary confinement. 

 

“Well I’m here now. I’m sorry I did not know you existed before today Millie. Otherwise I would have called you long before now.” Knowing she existed would have helped him out innumerable times, the elves were always underestimated and forgotten. More’s the shame. 

 

She looked thrilled at this, which also, understandable. 

 

“Thanks yous Master Harry! Will you be staying here?” Her big eyes looked up at him with hope, with one of her hands tugging lightly on her left ear, even if he hadn’t already been planning on staying he likely would have been swayed. 

 

“Yes Millie, where I was staying before was not safe. Being a vampire on the streets was not ideal.” He huffed in amusement at that understatement. Even then, her eyes seemed to widen even further. Which did not look healthy. 

 

“Yous be safe here Master Harry! Is yous hungry?” She hopped a bit, apparently excited to have a potential task after years of just cleaning an empty house.

 

Curious, Harry agreed to a meal, interested to see what she would supply. 

He wasn’t starving, but the thought that perhaps he would not have to wait to eat until his stomach started twisting anymore was pleasant. 

 

Millie popped up in front of him again, looking content and hopeful. “Yous meal is in the dining room Master Harry, is that good?” 

 

He nodded, “Yes, Millie, but can you show me where that is?”

 

“Yes Master Harry! Follow Millie.” At her lead, it was a short walk from the common area they had just been in. 

 

The table wasn’t as long as he imagined a table at Malfoy Manor would have, but the manageable size was greatly preferable to someone more extravagant.

On top of said table was a decanter of recognizable red liquid with an empty short glass placed next to it.

 

Walking over to the decanter, he rested his hand on the glass, finding it to be warm. 

 

Giving Millie a bit of a side-eye, he found himself curious about where and how she got the blood so quickly. 

 

Shrugging, as he had done some very questionable acts for the purpose of sating hunger -no other reason. *cough*- he sat down in front of the meal. 

 

“This looks great Millie, thank you.” She looked ecstatic before popping away quietly. 

 

After taking a long look at the decanter he poured some of the blood into his glass. 

 

After taking a small sip, his eyebrows shot up. 

 

It was absolutely delicious. 

 

Nothing like the animals he had gotten used to, or even the muggles that he had preyed after. Compared to this the muggles tasted like the sickly pigeon.

 

He could taste the magic in the blood, and it almost zipped across his taste buds. It had the same heavy copper scent, but the taste was rich and complex. It went down hot, almost like it was fresh from the source. 

 

Granted, with preservation charms it was probable it could retain that level of freshness for quite some time. 

 

He did not want to kill wizards to obtain blood, but if it all tasted like this, wherever Millie got it from, he might be tempted. 

 

The trick would be finding someone who would be willing to become a donor. 

 

The small animals would not have had enough blood otherwise, but killing the muggles for blood was merely to prevent being found through them reporting him. If he had known he could cast magic through the emancipation, things might have been different. 

 

Now however, he didn’t trust his magical education to cover getting away with taking blood from witches or wizards. They were in a much better place to defend themselves. Teaching himself what he could only get him so far.

 

Taking another long drink from the glass, he let out a contented sigh. 

 

So, donors.

 

People that he could turn to when he was hungry, alternating so not one of them had too much blood taken from them at a time. 

 

They also would have to be willing to become very close. The pleasure that comes as a result would almost be a waste otherwise.

 

It was a dream at this point while he had no connections. 

 

Perhaps taking the risk of reaching out to Sirius would be worthwhile. He might know where to start, and getting a taste, so to speak, of not going hungry made a good case. 

There could be so much gained, but he had been staying away for a reason. 

If there was a way to test and see what he thought about vampires, that might be helpful, but his owl was too recognizable to send a letter anonymously. 

 

And without being able to speak to Sirius beforehand, any letter he would send would almost certainly be directed straight to the headmaster. 

 

Pausing in his rumination for a moment, he let out a groan, letting his head hit the table. 

 

Millie. A house elf that could more than likely get through any wards he might be behind.

 

Though he might recognize her, she doubtless could direct a message to Sirius. 

 

Mind made up, and not letting himself second guess this decision, as it seemed to him to be the best route at this point, he got some stationary from the bag he had bought in Diagon. Featherlight and expanding charms were a wonderful combination. 

 

Absently sipping on the remaining blood, he began composing his letter. 

 

This could go wrong, but he needed allies. Being alone had made it so he didn’t need to worry about the opinions of others, but it had done him no favors.

 

Finding out he was a lord made it all the more vital to create a new network in the wizarding society. 

 

He was not taught politics in Hogwarts, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of learning now. And he was certain that though Sirius did not like his family, they had definitively taught him about politics. Extensively. 

 

It took a while to finish the letter to a satisfactory level. They had no idea where he was, what condition he was in whether it be mental or physical, it was almost a blank slate. 

 

He really didn’t even know Sirius that well, so it was a blank slate in more ways than one. 

 

No matter what the headmaster had certainly told his godfather, hopefully Sirius would read his note with an open mind. 

 

Heaving a sigh, he took one last drink of the blood, finishing it off. 

Licking his lips, savoring the remnant of the taste, he hoped Millie would be able to keep supplying meals like this. 

Though he was purposefully not thinking about the how. Even though that would be very useful to know. 

 

After sealing the letter in an inconspicuous envelope, he called Millie to him, having her lead him up to what would be his bedroom. 

 

Once they arrived, he handed her the note. 

 

“Please take this letter to Sirius Black, but wait until he is alone. Quickly, in and out.” He didn’t want to spook Sirius into not reading the letter, but he also didn’t want Millie to be recognized. 

 

“Yes Master Harry, Millie will.” She took the letter reverently, and bowed before popping away. 

 

Well, now that was out of his hands. 

 

He was looking forward to when Hedwig would find him. 

 

He had told her to keep her distance while he was on the streets, as that would be immediately recognizable, but now that he was in a home, hopefully she would settle.

 

It had been a frightfully long five months, and he was looking forward to being unconscious for perhaps a couple of days. Certainly by then Hedwig would be here, and he might learn how his godfather would respond. 

 

He could only hope his letter would be received well. 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Not too far away in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius startled as a house elf popped in and out of his bedroom. The order had cleared out of the house and he had just walked in to start winding down for the evening. He was certainly not expecting company other than Remus.

 

Casting several detection charms on the piece of parchment, he hesitantly picked it up when all of the spells came back clear. 

 

Breaking the wax seal, his eyes widened at the handwriting and then widened further when he read the note. 

 

“REMUS!!!"

 

Notes:

Yeah.... Harry is repressing what happened to him when he got turned big time. That's not going to backfire at all
The idea of blood tea came from "Teatime" by iselsis

Thank you for reading, I always enjoy reading your thoughts :)

Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Notes:

Back from Wales! Bought almost 50 books in the two days I was there, and with a much lighter pocketbook I head back to work tomorrow. Spent my last evening in Wales listening to the rain, looking at the mountains, and nursing a fever. Yay!
I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Sirius found himself shaking with relief at the letter he had just received. 

 

When Remus had come barreling into the room after Sirius had shouted for him, the letter was passed on for him to read.

 

A few moments later, a strangled sound came from the werewolf. 

 

After Albus had told the rest of the order about Harry’s fate, they had been worried sick. The order wasn’t filled with the most tolerant of folk, and if Harry had been found by them, it might not spell out good things.

 

They both wanted to see Harry desperately, but with Sirius stuck in Grimmuald with Albus’s wards he thought no one else knew about and Remus having a tracking charm that again, Albus thought no one else knew about, their options were limited. 

 

Having to play nice was grating on every one of their nerves, but they didn’t want to even accidentally lead the order to Harry’s location. 

 

That being said, the house elf that popped in and out of their room was nagging in his brain. 

There was something about it that made him feel like he was forgetting something. But what it was remained out of reach. 

 

Harry’s letter, it being obvious who it was even though he didn’t say explicitly, gave them some hope. 

 

Though the letter did not contain Harry’s name, the handwriting and the topic made it obvious. If Albus had not told everyone of Harry’s turning, he might have overlooked the handwriting and chalked it up to another attempt at having him turn to the Dark Lord. 

 

It would not be the first time. 

 

Ever since he escaped from Azkaban he had received letters that sought to persuade him to join the Dark sect. It was understandable as his family always produced children with dark cores. However, during school he was held back because of James, and then later he was held back because of Harry. 

 

He honored and respected all branches of magic, but being merciless, passionate, and holding strongly to his morals are what drove the hat to place him in Gryffindor. His tendency to joke in serious situations helped solidify that placement. 

 

If he had not been placed in Gryffindor, and had instead been placed in Slytherin like his family hoped, the focal point of his hardheadedness would have tipped in another direction. 

 

As it happened, he would not have it another way. 

 

Did he have to be more careful about how he conducted his rituals now? Absolutely. However, he had Harry to write letters to.

 

Or, he used to have Harry to write letters to. 

 

Harry did not know him well, could hardly in the short time they’d known each other. And Sirius had to be careful about what he wrote about, as Harry came across as light as could be. 

 

Now, however, he wondered. 

 

Being with Remus helped him maintain an equilibrium with his dark core and the mask of a Light wizard that he had to wear around everyone else. 

 

Remus knew exactly who his mate was at his core. Literally. Being a dark creature changed who he was fundamentally. 

 

The Light would try and say that there was always a chance for dark creatures to turn to the Light. They were fools. 

 

The method in which they would try to convert said dark creatures was cruel. Suppression, blocks, starvation. 

 

All in the name of the greater good. 

 

He wished desperately that the Dark Lord hadn’t been insane. 

 

There was no winning side, both sides would end in tragedy. 

 

Now however, it looked like there was hope in his godson being able to share what Sirius and Remus were so passionate about. With Harry officially no longer being attached to Dumbledore, Sirius no longer had a reason to pretend. 

 

Imagining being able to be himself around all those he actually cares about, not having to hide, made him grin uncontrollably.

 

Looking over at Remus, who had been staring at the letter in inspirited awe after his first moments of shock, Sirius felt a warmth he hadn’t experienced in years. A hope starting to burn, from a bit of a spark. This time he wouldn’t have to purposefully extinguish it. 

 

When Remus looked over at him, they shared a soft smile. 

 

“Our cub is growing into himself.” Remus sounded satisfied, for good reason. The order put up with him, but dark creatures were always feared almost on a subconscious level. He could talk to Harry before, but blinders had been put on the boy’s eyes since he entered their world. 

 

The letter may have been vague and reluctant, but they would show their kid just how much he could rely on them. 

He would show Harry the side of magic that the Light would outlaw. Has outlawed.

 

Even though laws prohibit vampires from being killed without reason, when there is enough prejudice, reasons are fabricated to fit the interest of the prosecutor. 

 

What people do not understand, they fear. 

 

That is what Dumbledore accomplished years ago with dark magic. He took it out of the curriculum, out of the library, and put the image of an insane dark wizard on a podium for people to look upon and fear. 

 

Dumbledore could no longer use Harry as a means to keep him leashed.

 

Sirius wished… but wishing alone was dangerous. Now, he had more than a wish, he had hope. 

 

Harry had reached out to him, and he would not let his godson down. 

 

Turning Harry’s own method against him, after composing his response, he called Kreacher. 

 

Popping in with a sneer already on his face, Kreacher folded his arms, staring at Sirius. “What is nasty traitor master wanting?” His gravelly voice filled with loathing. 

 

Kreacher is going to love this... “I need to you take this letter to Harry Potter. Do not take it to anyone else, and you are to go from here, give him the letter, and quickly come back here with no other stops. He is a vampire, so I would be careful, otherwise you might become a snack.” He couldn’t help but say the last part with a grin. 

 

He severely doubted Harry had changed so much as to go after a house elf, but if the threat helped Kreacher behave, well. 

 

“Kreacher will give letter to half-blood leech, yes he will. Kreacher be’s listening to Master.” When he popped away promptly, Sirius looked at where he had left from with a bit of bafflement. Kreacher not adding on expletives before the word ‘master’ was unheard of, and apparently associating with a vampire, even if it was Harry Potter, endeared him to the elf temporarily. 

 

Presuming Kreacher had given Harry the letter and then returned to a different part of the house, Sirius leaned into Remus. His heartbeat had always been soothing.

 

Now, they could only wait. 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Harry felt like death, pun fully intended. After only sleeping for a couple of hours, he heard a pop, felt something pointy hit the blanket he had over his head, and heard the popping sound again. 

 

Groggily, he sat up, looking at a letter that had fallen into his lap. 

 

His head cleared somewhat when he saw the Black family signet pressed into the wax seal. 

 

That had been a startlingly quick response. 

 

Hesitating, he called Millie to him.

 

“Master Harry be calling Millie?”

 

“Yes, Millie, are you able to detect whether a letter has curses on it, or is otherwise dangerous?” Even if she wasn’t, it was worth an ask. He didn’t know any detection spells, though in hindsight he should have thought to look them up years ago. He didn’t know enough about his ability to see magic to rely on it fully.

 

“Yes Master, Millie be’s checking.” As she reached toward the parchment Harry was concerned she would touch it to check, but her hand stopped a few inches above the letter. Watching it glow green, a lighter green than the glow of wards he’d seen before, she nodded. “It’s be clean Master. Does Master Harry be’s needing anything else?” 

 

“No Millie, that was all. Thank you.” She nodded again happily, and popped away.

 

Still wary, though this time for the words the letter might contain rather than physical harm, he picked up the parchment and broke the seal.

 

After skimming the contents of the letter, he collapsed back as optimism started to take hold. He did not dare let himself hope before, but Sirius exceeded his expectations. 

 

He said he cared, that it did not matter that he was a dark creature and had to drink blood to survive. He asked if Harry might tell him where he was living so that Sirius and Remus could give their full support. They did not require him to tell them where he was, but Sirius wanted to be there for him.

 

Both Sirius and Remus missed him, they loved him regardless of what he has been through and done these last months.

 

He could still have a family. 

 

His eyes started to water. He had been so convinced that Sirius would berate him. That he would call him a blight on the Potter name. After all, James Potter was as light as they came, right? There was no way that a son of his could have a dark core, no matter how it came to be. 

 

Even though Sirius and Remus sent word of their support, Harry couldn’t help but wonder what his father and mother would think of his situation. Would they disown him, or hug him? 

 

It was hard to imagine the response of parents he had never met.

 

He liked to think at least his mother would not care. It’s said that a mother’s love is one of the strongest things there is, right? 

Though the doubt lingered, as he knew not all mothers has undying love for their offspring. 

 

Perhaps he could ask Sirius the next time he saw him. He knew much better how Harry’s parents would respond. Though he hoped Sirius wouldn’t sugarcoat it. 

He needed to know the truth.

 

And with his now enhanced hearing, he might be able to discern if Sirius was being honest. He hadn’t practiced, but it seemed a practical application to being able to hear heartbeats. 

He wonders if Remus ever used that ability, and what it was like being in the order being able to tell if people were lying or not. 

 

Quite eye-opening he would imagine. 

 

Putting the letter on the nightstand, he laid back down. 

 

He was exhausted, and now the relief of his family still being there for him made him even more tired from the release of underlying tension. 

 

There was still some time to prepare for them coming to the townhouse. Sirius undoubtedly knew the property existed, so them not coming over immediately was a nice show of respect. 

 

They wanted to give him space if he needed it, and he appreciated the sentiment. 

 

For now, he would rest, and leave his response for when he woke up. His godfather knew he was alive, and for now that would suffice. 

 

Head throbbing, he closed his eyes. A smile graced his lips despite his exhaustion. 

 

Soon, his family would be with him again, and he could start learning what he needed to in order to not just survive, but thrive. 

 

He finally had people in his corner, not just people holding him on an unwanted pedestal. 

Notes:

We're finally getting going! Parental Sirius (and Remus) for the win. I love them.
Excited to have gotten beyond 10k words! Here's to 100k more. Or however long it ends up being xD
Thank you all for reading!! I appreciate every one of you.

Chapter 6: Chapter Six

Notes:

Spent my Sunday writing this instead of mentally prepping for a brief I’m presenting at work tomorrow, I hope you enjoy!! (wish me luck ✖‿✖)

“Sirius would you stop pacing, you’re going to wear a hole in the floor.” Sirius’ only reaction to Remus’ dry remark was a dramatically deep sigh as he continued to pace slowly across the floor in front of the fireplace. 

 

“Love, it will be fine. You just sent the letter last night, he probably has to sit on his response a bit. After all, it’s not like he announced his new creature status up front.” 

 

Despite knowing that there were many good reasons for Harry not to have responded yet, Sirius couldn’t help but feel worried at the delayed response. 

Did their prompt acknowledgment scare him away? 

They sent him a positive and supportive letter, so he hopes the response is equally positive. 

 

However, as someone who has been on the run for over five months, it would be understandable to be nervous reaching out. 

Harry had taken the first step, but now they have to nourish the follow-through. 

 

“But Remus!” Sirius whined with the air of someone who absolutely knew they were in the wrong.

“What if he doesn’t want to meet with us, what if he thinks it’s a trap?” Which honestly, would be fair…

 

“Then he likely would send a rejection through another letter rather than taking us up on our offer right away. It will be okay Sirius. Remember we said we would give him space if he needs it. Don’t go back on your word.”

 

Sirius pouted in response, but stopped pacing and sat down on the couch. Remus sent a wistful smile in his direction before looking back to the fire.

“He’ll respond Sirius. He loves you, he’s just understandably wary. He never saw the side of you that cursed Dumbledore behind the old man’s back. Once he meets with us he can determine the truth to our words, but ink on parchment doesn’t hold the same weight.” 

 

Seeing the vaguely resigned expression on Remus’ face, Sirius caught his eyes. “He loves you too Remus. That letter wasn’t only addressed to me.” Thankfully that eased the small bit of tension out of his shoulders.

 

“You’re right. Take my own advice, eh?” Giving Sirius a soft smile, Remus relaxed into the couch, combing his fingers through Sirius’ black hair. If he were in his dog form, he undoubtedly would be rumbling in happiness. 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Another crumpled-up piece of parchment was thrown into the rubbish bin. This one actually making it in. 

Harry smugly looked at it for a moment before looking down at another blank parchment, his grin turning into a frown of consternation. 

 

Picking up his fountain pen in one hand and his glass of blood in the other, he started another draft. 

I need to go hunting, as handy as house elf supplied blood is, I miss the chase. 

 

Taking a deep drink from the glass, he frowned. It was delicious, but there wasn’t a heartbeat, there wasn’t the adrenaline, nor the same pleasure. It still was pleasurable don’t get him wrong, but it was more a heady sense of lust without the physical satisfaction. It was almost a tease. 

 

He felt like he should be more repulsed by those thoughts. Or rather, he knew he would have been before. So much has changed, he almost feels guilty for not feeling guilty.

 

Setting down his empty glass, he focused on the letter. He wanted his godfather(s) to come to the townhouse. He wanted to get the hard conversations out of the way. Give him the space to explain and let them ask questions. Hopefully they would find an equilibrium. 

 

The letter that Sirius sent was comforting. It sounded like the man was no longer in Dumbledore’s back pocket, and it allowed him to hope that there would be a future in which he could learn from the man. That he could grow into their little family. 

 

A Lord of a dark house, a werewolf, and a vampire. Quite the little family. Maybe one day it would even grow, if he dare hope. Imagining having a partner with his condition, so to speak, was difficult, but he hoped it would become a reality one day. 

Finding someone who would be okay with how he reacted to drinking blood would also be a challenge, he was sure. Someone who was as twisted as him but wouldn’t kill him would be a hard combination to come by. 

But having a relationship like that was probably a far off dream. Before even contemplating growing close to anyone else, he had to work on trusting those closest to him first. 

 

There’s no way he could let someone else in so soon. Those kind of bonds don’t grow overnight, and he didn’t have that kind of history with anyone. 

 

Scowling down at the words of agreement he had written onto the page, he hoped that he had conveyed his message eloquently enough. Not that his dogfather would care for eloquence, but he felt like these letters were important enough to warrant it. 

He was thankful for the fountain pen Hermione had gifted him. It was one that used a piston filler system, allowing him to use ink bottles still. Granted not the same ink he used for his quill as fountain pen ink had to be water based, but he liked the flexibility.

Trying to write letters with his quill was a hassle. Malfoy would probably have an aneurysm seeing him use a muggle writing device. 

 

Maybe Sirius could be converted to using one over a quill.

 

And now he was distracting himself, he’s being ridiculous.

 

Writing the last few words of his letter, he let it dry for a few minutes before folding it and sealing it. It wasn’t a long note, as he hoped to share most of what he wanted to say in person. Just greetings, a desire to meet, and the address to announce in the floo. 

He had written drafts that had said more, but it seemed unnecessary. 

 

A note could only convey so much, and sometimes speaking in person can help conversations go so much smoother than they would otherwise.

 

Sighing, he called Millie and had her take the note to Sirius. 

 

He was sure once they read the letter they would be coming through the floo within minutes. 

 

At least he had just drank his fill so he wouldn’t be as jittery and could focus easier. 

No matter Sirius’ thoughts on his condition, this was not going to be a fun conversation.

Maybe he should test and see how alcohol reacts to his system? If drinking from someone who was drunk is any indication, it probably wouldn’t be advisable to a serious conversation, but it sure was tempting. Maybe he would have Millie make some blood-laced tea to get him through this conversation.

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Jumping when there was a soft pop in front of their couch. Having dosed off, Sirius almost hit Remus in the jaw when his arm jolted. Remus, having been reading while letting himself take the place of a pillow, rose an eyebrow at Sirius. 

 

His face flushing a little, he grabbed the letter that the house elf had quickly dropped on the coffee table before popping away.

 

He still thought that elf looked familiar.

 

Breaking the seal, he held the note so Remus could read it as well. Grins spread on both of their faces and they learnt where Harry was living. The note was so formal it could almost be called curt, but he knew why his pup had addressed it that way. Harry had no idea what kind of reception he would have.

 

Really, that townhouse should have been one of the first places they looked, but Sirius supposed they had gotten used to Harry not knowing anything about his heritage. 

That was going to change.

Now that Dumbledore didn’t have a say in what Harry was allowed to know, Harry could learn whatever they had to share. 

 

His godson had included the floo address, so thankfully it would be a quick transit. Not that it took long to walk to the townhouse’s address anyway. That was something that James had been thankful for back in the day. Something they both had been thankful for. 

Anyways.

 

Taking a few deep breaths, gathered his confidence, and he looked to Remus seeing the quiet strength that he loved. 

 

They were going to do this right. 

 

Tossing the floo powder into the fireplace, he stepped in and called out the address.

 

“Potter Townhouse, Frederick St, London!” 

 

Landing in a familiar townhouse, he saw Harry standing at a distance from the floo. 

Moving away quickly to make way for Remus, he stayed quiet, waiting for Harry to make the first move. 

 

Even after Remus arrived, there was a moment of silence. 

Harry was eying them cautiously, and seemed to come to a conclusion giving them a careful smile.

 

“Let’s sit, Millie can bring some tea if you would like? I may have a cuppa myself.” He seemed to be fidgeting slightly, though he was obviously trying to busy his hands. 

 

As all of them moved to the armchairs facing away from the small terrace, “Yes please Harry, that would be lovely.” 

 

Prompting Millie to bring a teapot with three cups, she popped away and brought back the tea requested as well as a little vial next to Harry’s cup. 

 

Sirius and Remus watched as Harry poured their tea and his own. After inquiring about their preferences, sugar with milk for Sirius and just sugar for Remus, he handed them their cups. He then proceeded to pour the dark red contents of the vial into his teacup before stirring the mixture. 

 

Harry picked up the cup and gave a little sigh before straightening, steeling himself. “So, I’m sure you have questions, but please hold them for a few minutes while I explain. This might take a while, and I want you both to have the full picture.” He looked nervous for their reactions but sure of himself at the same time. Sirius was happy to see the conviction behind his eyes. It would help in the conversation later. 

 

“Don’t worry pup, we stand by you. We just want to make sure you’re okay.” He tried to convey his sincerity, and Harry seemed to look into his soul with eyes as bright as the killing curse. Whatever he was looking for seemed to pass inspection as he relaxed minutely. 

 

“I wouldn’t say okay, per se, but I’m getting better.” His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Taking a sip of his tea, which apparently had blood in it, he continued. “As you mentioned hearing from Dumbledore, my relatives’ home was attacked earlier this last summer. What Dumbledore likely didn’t tell you, was the true severity of the attack.” Harry took a shuddering breath, putting his lips to the teacup, hovering over it, almost hiding behind it. Tone quieting. “You might need a calming draught for this.” 

Notes:

Almost 10pm but happy to have this posted :) And yes, Frederick St is a real place in London! Lovely buildings that fetch quite the price. It’s not too far away from where Grimmauld Place was filmed, just a bit closer to King's Cross.

A quote for the road, from “‘Everybody’s Book of Epitaphs,’ being for the most part what the living think of the dead”, 1995. Ironically I noted this quote before I set the townhouse as being in Islington.

“From an old tomb at Islington—
Alis Fowler, 1540
Behold and see, thus as I am so sal ye bee
When ye be dead and layd in grave
As ye have done so sal ye have”

Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Notes:

Finally organized all of those books that I bought. Old books are amazing.
Thank you all for the love with the last couple of chapters! Can’t believe there are already over 150 kudos, I appreciate you all so much <3
This one has a lot of Harry talking over tea, catching his godfathers up to speed, with some important realizations.
This is a bit of a rough one, but I hope you all enjoy this update!!

Since Harry didn’t have any calming draughts in the townhouse yet, Sirius had Kreacher bring him two from his own stock. 
Downing the vials quickly, Sirius and Remus sat on the edge of the armchairs waiting for Harry to start explaining.

 

There was a heavy pause before Harry took a deep breath and started. 

 

“The summer had not started any differently that it usually did. My belongings were locked away, I was put in my room, locked in, and my relatives generally showed their disgust at my existence. There wasn’t much of note until approximately two weeks after the end of term.” 
Taking a sip of his tea his looked up at them. “That is when everything went to shite. I wasn’t very aware at he start, since my uncle had just finished leaving a brand new set of bruises, taking advantage of my aunt and cousin being gone, but I became a lot more aware of the situation when my door was blasted open.”

 

His leg started to bounce, and he set his half finished cup of tea down. He didn’t meet the eyes of either of his godfathers. 

 

“Couldn’t see much, since I didn’t have my glasses on. Hadn’t needed them since I had been resting. If I had them on I might have been able to know who it was that turned me.” His voice was more than a little self-depreciating, and he paused, tensing like a bowstring. 

 

“To begin with, I thought it was a death eater. Would have made the most sense, more sense than what happened.” He chuckled dryly, conveying anything other than humor. 
“I wish I could say what happened next went by in a blur. It didn’t. I know now that he was likely drawn to my room in the first place because I was bleeding… Uncle Vernon had caused the injuries, though I don’t think he had intended to go so far.” He gave Remus a hard glare as he heard a growl from that direction. 
“Don’t start that now, that’s not even the worst by far.” Rather than being chastened Remus looked thoroughly unrepentant, hiding his scowl with taking another sip from his tea. 

 

“Moving on.” Maintaining his glare for a moment longer before looking back down, turning his glare to the ground. Obviously dreading the next part of the story. If he held the teacup as strongly as he was holding each of his arms, the porcelain would have shattered. “It didn’t take long to figure out the man was a vampire. He also wasn’t consuming blood because he was hungry. It was too languid. He didn’t even have to work too hard to keep me in place.” He sneered at that, and Sirius leaned forward and put a hand on one of Harry’s knees. 

 

“As you said, you were injured, and you more than likely had a concussion. What happened wasn’t your fault Harry.” Remus seemed to be beyond words, eyes a bright gold even with the calming draught, but he produced a rumbling sound in agreement, eyes earnest. 

 

Harry nodded and Sirius squeezed his knee once before letting go, sitting back. 

 

“Thank you. It took a long time to come to any degree of that realization. I believe you, but telling the story brings back the feelings I had back then.” He slumped slightly. 
“He had turned my head away to get at my neck, so I still didn’t get a good look at him, but I know he realized who I was. He had started running his hands through my hair, which should have been my first indicator of what he was planning, but I was naive. Once he saw my scar he stopped draining me slowly and fed me blood instead. He tore open his arm, reached around, and forced it against my mouth while he held my nose closed.” 

 

Here his voice broke a little. His eyes were distant, and they could tell he was starting to disassociate. Not ideal in the least, but completely understandable when telling a story like this one. Remus closed his eyes, breathing carefully. He knew from the way Harry was holding himself that the story was about to get even worse than it already was.

 

“After he had forced me to drink several mouthfuls, he healed his arm and forced me face-down on my bed. I was gagging, breathing was difficult, and the weight of him on my back was not helping the nausea.” Harry was hunched over, looking at the ground, hands gripping his knees hard, looking a little nauseated even now. 
Millie popped in, handed him a potion, and popped away. Harry glanced at it and quickly downed it, immediately relaxing a little, his hunched position a little looser. 

 

He looked reluctant as he continued. "When vampires feed it induces lust for both parties involved. Whether it is wanted or not. It can be intoxicating, and in the moment, your mind isn't quite your own."

 

“You can guess what happened next. He found it hilarious that he had turned ‘the famous Harry Potter.’ He found it equally amusing to leave me with torn trousers and bleeding profusely from places I’d rather not mention. He was lucky my fangs hadn’t come in yet.” He paused before looking up at Sirius and Remus. Their faces were pale, and Sirius had his hand over his mouth, looking faint. Remus was pressing his palms against his eyes, trembling slightly with every breath. 

 

Harry kept looking at them, steeled himself. “I’m sure he knew the effect leaving me bleeding that much would have.” Sirius’ eyes widened a bit at this in realization. “Once I regained consciousness, I was barely aware and was ravenous. Not a good combination. While I was unconscious, who knows for how long, Aunt Petunia and Dudley had come back home.” Here he picked the previously abandoned cup of blood tea and held it back at his mouth before taking a sip, eyes closing, keeping the cup at his lips. 

 

“They had no chance. A newly turned vampire that was almost depleted of blood. It was a slaughter. While Vernon was left dry with just a couple pricks in his neck from, the other vampire, I had no precision at that point. I’m sure they were left looking like a wild beast had attacked them, and in a way one did.” This time the self-depreciation was strong.

 

“Oh Harry, pup…” Sirius’ muscles tensed in an aborted movement, just wanting to lunge over hand hug him, but he knew it wouldn’t be received well at the moment. 

 

Harry directed a bitter smile at Sirius. “I know I could not have helped it. The vampire that turned me constructed that situation purposefully. He knew exactly what he was doing. Despite knowing that logically, I also knew I couldn’t stick around.” His faced smoothed into an attempt at indifference, though it fell a little short. 

 

“After that I was on the streets. It took a few days with stops due to having been so injured, and along the way I drained a couple of people, still not fully cognizant, but I eventually made it to London. By that point I was a little more clear headed. My brain protected itself a bit by pushing what had happened to the back burner while I focused on surviving. The harder part was when I developed a routine of sorts. Then I had the capacity to think.” His facade of indifference turned into a slight joking smirk. “Thinking can be overrated.” He flashed a grin at his godfathers, though it fell a little when they both just looked sad. 

 

Looking for a way to change to topic, his head tilted slightly as he remembered something he had planned to ask them. “There is one thing that I have a question about that I discovered while on the streets. I started noticing certain objects or people would glow. It became obvious that the differing colors of the glow I was seeing were connected to different types of spells. Have you ever heard of something like that?” 

 

Seeing the attempted diversion for what it was, and being completely okay with it, Remus responded, having been able to pull himself together and calm the wolf. “That sounds like you are able to see the energy that powers a given spell. Spells are just energy directed and focused with a clear purpose. Do you see these colors all of the time?” His voice was still a little strained, but he also sounded intrigued. 

 

Harry’s posture straightened, happy to have some answer for what he had been seeing. “Now I don’t since I know how to control it, but when I first noticed it, yes. I’m glad I don’t see things all the time now, it was a literal headache.” Sirius snorted slightly at that. 

 

“I bet! Out of curiosity, what does the townhouse look like to you when you let yourself see the magic?” 

 

Harry paused, focusing on reactivating that part of his sight after dismissing it for so long. Looking at the floo it was a bright red, and the teapot and set were a light blue, likely due to the magic Millie used to brew the tea. He told his godfathers what he was seeing, but froze when he looked directly at them. 

 

“Harry? What is it?” Sirius voiced, concerned. 
When Harry didn’t respond after a moment, Remus also tried to get his attention, though Harry jerked after Remus put a hand on his arm. 

 

“Remus, would there be any reason for you to have active spells on you?” Voice strangled, Harry looking back and forth between the two. 

 

Sirius froze, mind racing, and turned to Remus before casting a few spells in succession, causing Harry’s eyes to widen in bewilderment. 

 

“Fuck!” Sirius stopped and dropped his wand hand between his knees, other hand coming up to rub his face. 

 

Even more baffled, Harry started to ask, “Sirius what-?”

 

“Tracking charm. We got rid of it once before, but Dumbledore must have reapplied it. Probably thought it failed naturally.” Sirius’ face looked waxen after it had just started to gain some color, and Remus didn’t look much better. 

 

Remus’ face turned quickly to Sirius. “Did you-”
“Yes, I took it back off. But gods I hope he didn’t notice where you are.” 

 

The panic was starting to grow on their faces, and they both turned quickly to Harry. Sirius, realizing the opportunity, leaned in toward his godson and spoke urgently. 
“Harry, can you see any other spells active on us?” 

 

He looked at them a long moment, and hesitating in responding. “I see a slight white glow around you both.”

 

“Is that what wizards without spells look like as a baseline?” Sirius guessed. 

 

Harry shook his head. “No. While I was in Diagon Alley there was almost a radiation of energy surrounding people. Like when you can see the heat radiating off objects on a hot day. I’ve seen this white glow before, but… it was always after the aurors had to Obliviate someone. Even muggles would have that glow afterward.”

 

Sirius sagged slightly at hearing that. “Of fucking course. I wouldn’t put it past the old bastard. We'll have to put off looking into that until a little later.” 

 

Harry perked up. “Are you talking about Dumbledore?” 

 

Remus nodded, seeing Sirius was lost in his thoughts. “Albus has been attempting to control our movements closely ever since Sirius and I took up residence at Sirius’ family home. He even tried to make it so that Sirius couldn’t use the floo, but seemed to forget he wasn’t the owner of the house, and Sirius just undid it right after Albus left.” A hint of humor entered his voice at that, and a little pride. 

 

Sirius smirked slightly at that, coming back to the present at the end of Remus’ comment. 

 

“Since the old coot doesn’t know that we know what he cast, we should be getting back to minimize the potential damage. So long as he hasn’t tried to check any of his charms we should be fine.” Sirius looked at Harry warmly. “I’m sorry for cutting this short kiddo, I don’t want to risk him finding you.”

 

“Don’t worry about it Sirius, I understand, and I appreciate it. Would it ever work for me to visit you?” The end of the sentence ended a bit shyly, not sure whether they would want, or be able, to have him in their home. 

 

“Absolutely pup! But first, I have to tell you something. ‘The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.’”
He looked slightly sour at this, but stated it solemnly. 

 

Puzzled, Harry’s face pinched slightly. “What-”

 

“The house is under a Fidelius charm. It requires someone to know the secret before they can be aware of the target in question’s existence. Dumbledore tried to make himself the secret keeper, but I refused. He wasn’t happy about it, but no way was I going to give him that much power.” He grinned, looking quite pleased with himself. 

 

Remus reached over and nudged him. “Sirius, we have to go.” He looked reluctant, but Sirius nodded back at him. 

 

Remus looked at Harry somberly. “I’m sorry cub. We were both hoping to stay longer, especially after such a serious conversation we don’t want to leave you alone, but just send Millie ahead, making sure we’re in a room alone, and ask if it’s clear to floo over. We would love to have you over. Please don’t hesitate to turn to us Harry. We will send a note with Kreacher once we know Dumbledore didn't notice we were gone.” Standing, Remus pulled Harry into a gentle hug. 

 

Sirius stood as well, joining in on the hug. “We love you pup. Never doubt that. We will stand with you, whatever direction you decide to go in. Be it neutral in this war, or at the side of the bloody Dark Lord.” His voice took on a teasing note at the end, and Harry snorted, taken off guard. 

 

They pulled away from each other, and Harry smiled at them, the happiest they had seen him throughout this entire conversation. “Thank you Sirius, Remus. I’ll be sure to visit soon.” 

 

“Looking forward to hearing from you pup, don’t be a stranger. So happy you’re safe now.” Sirius grinned at him before they walked over to the floo, calling out for Grimmauld Place.

 

Harry stood in front of the floo for several minutes, considering the newest revelations. While he was worried for his godfathers, it couldn’t be easy living in a home that Albus Dumbledore considered his own, he was happy his small family accepted him as he was. They knew the basics of what he had been through, of what he was, and they hadn’t rejected him.

 

The high from the conversation stayed with him for the rest of the day. 

Notes:

Good job Danie666 on picking out some important details in the other chapter with the spells that Dumbledore had cast :) I hope your questions were answered satisfactorily. Definitely not the last time that general topic will be brought up!

Next up we will see things from a bit of a different perspective ;)

Thank you for reading! :)

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Notes:

I’ve been lethargic the last couple of days, so I wasn’t writing as quick. Four day weekend coming up starting tomorrow afternoon though! So that’s exciting.
Thankful my advisor didn’t sign me up for any classes this month, nice to be able to relax when I need to. Next term I'll be back to two classes (:

“Severusss, what did the old fool have to say in the order meeting?” Marvolo, known as You-Know-Who to the general populace or Voldemort to those who were brave, inquired of his spy. The accent created through the frequent use of parseltongue coming through. 
He could speak purposefully without the accent, but it was more trouble in private than it was worth. 

 

The shadow of a sneer graced Severus’ lips in remembrance of the meeting from a week ago. “It was an eventful meeting my Lord. Dumbledore attempted to brush off the Potter brat being missing, as he has for months, but Black challenged him outright.” His sneer took on a bewildered edge. “Thus far Black and his wolf had seemed deferential to the headmaster. Whenever he would say jump, they would ask how high. But even Black seems to have reached his limits with how Albus has handled Potter being missing.” 

 

Marvolo hummed softly in response, looking down at his desk, brows slightly furrowed. His fingers tapped on the edge of the desk. After a few beats, he looked back up at Severus. “Have you stayed to witness their interactions or have you only seen them interact in the Order meetings?” Putting his elbow on the table, head resting in his palm, he looked intently at Severus. “It would be telling if they acted the same, or differently, when no one else was there to witness it. The old coot has always been manipulative when angling how he wants people to act in public.” Starting to frown by the end, he raised a brow questioningly. 

 

“I have not attempted to stay behind my Lord. Generally the Order expects me to leave as soon as we are dismissed. I will ensure to make the proper excuses to fall behind and Disillusion myself, if it pleases you my Lord?” Receiving a nod of approval and a motion to continue, he took a breath and pondered briefly how to phrase this new development.
Bracing himself, he pressed on. Not quite looking his Lord in the eye, though not far enough off to be rude. “Due to Black’s pressing, Albus also exposed some sensative information.” He hesitated ever so slightly, as he knew this would likely bring him to the forefront of any plans that they would conduct. His Lord looked at him impatiently as the silence dragged on for a beat too long. “He revealed to the Order that Potter is now likely a vampire.” 

 

There was a significant quiet after that announcement. 

 

The Dark Lord drummed his fingers as he looked down at the table, body more tense than it had been before.
“Have you heard any word, Severusss, on who might have taken credit for turning the Potter boy?” Aware that Marvolo seemed to be on the verge of casting curses, he hurriedly filled in as much as he could. 

 

“None of the covens that I am familiar with have spoken about any new turnings the last several months, as they all have been quite settled, especially recently with your new arrangement. Even before more vampires joined your side they were already at least neutral. Someone in a coven might have thought this would please you, though then it would make more sense for them to claim the turning. Unless they did not care to take responsibility for a newly turned vampire. Which, unfortunately in some circles, is quite likely.” This trend was saddening to say the least, as those who live until they are murdered are healthiest with many close bonds. 

 

“Perhaps a coven will claim him yet. After all, what are several months to those who have seen numerous centuries pass them by.” Severus barely withheld his doubtful look at his Lord’s declaration. If a vampire did not claim someone they had turned, it was unlikely they would change their minds.
Though Dumbledore often spins his own narrative, if the house on Privet Drive was indeed found in the condition he described, the chances of the one who turned Potter showing himself were almost nill. 

A rouge vampire is often an insane vampire; once someone reaches that point, they don’t live much longer. Their minds turn feral and they ultimately consume something they shouldn’t. Preferably they would be found before they get to that point, but having heard nothing of a rouge, and it having been months, there likely was nothing to find. 
Telling Marvolo these details left his Lord reaching for the wine, but thankfully a Crucio was not cast for his lack of answers. 

 

Though being deferential was still necessary out of respect, he knew it was safe to propose ideas and speak plainly now. A couple of months ago that would not have been the case in the least. 
Once he received approval from his Lord to depart, he made his way back home to his potions lab. As he was not one of the staff members chosen to stay behind for the Yule break, he would enjoy every moment he had. 

 

A few members of his inner circle had been asked to stay behind specifically several times, but they had never hinted at what had taken place during those meetings. 
Several weeks after the end of the school year, on Samhain, or Halloween as the mudbloods would call it, he had seen a drastic change in his master. 
No longer unhealthily pale nor possessing vaguely reptilian features, he finally looked like the Dark Lord that his followers had grown to respect years ago. 

 

This was a Dark Lord that he would gladly follow, and one that he knew would bring proper change. Still in a bloody fashion perhaps, he wouldn’t be Marvolo if the blacker side of dark magic wasn’t practiced to its full potential. 
Many of the Dark Lord’s followers had more grey cores than dark, which would undoubtedly be a surprise to many. 
However, as the state of the current social standards was, even those who were grey would not be able to fully express their capabilities. 

 

Even a task as simple as remaining undetected could be accomplished utilizing less-than-light means. To thoroughly charm one’s self to invisibility wasn’t just on the visual spectrum. There were sound, smell, aspects that took more to negate. 
The Disillusionment Charm was handy in a pinch as it took a minimal amount of energy, though the one casting it would get as much out of it as they put into it. 
It’s easy to cast, but it is also easy for someone to dispel. 
If one wasn’t afraid to press the boundaries, and knew how to hide illegalities adequately, runes were a field of magic that many turned to.

 

Runes on their own were not illegal, after all they are taught in Hogwarts. 
However, those who go after their mastery outside of the United Kingdom know that true runic mastery includes the application of blood. 
He had delved into this branch of magic when he was almost too young to grasp its complexity, but he took to it like a fish in water. 
Unfortunately, Lily had not understand its potential. He had hinted at that branch of magic, but she was disgusted by it, the narrative surrounding blood magic settling in quickly.

 

When Severus would stay behind in the Order headquarters after the upcoming meeting, a leather cuff that he had created would be worn on his wrist once he was out of sight. 
As the bind runes were saturated with blood, they were substantially more potent than any Disillusionment Charm by itself would be. The energy potential in blood was astronomically high. 

 

The possibilities were neigh endless, but Dumbledore had crippled an entire nation with their thanks by purging everything he considered less than Light.

 

Their society was so entrenched by his influence that he had almost become a pillar in their minds, holding society upright. 

 

If that pillar was threatened at the wrong moment, the society that he has built would revolt, and change would be rejected, a similar pillar pulled into place, and the force behind the previous attempt at upending Dumbledore’s laws would be hunted.

 

As Severus entered his lab, he couldn’t help but ruminate how that was the majority of the problem the last time Voldemort attempted to take destiny into his own hands.
The timing was not right, and he paid the price.
Not that he would say that out loud on threat of death. As it would then lead to his death anyway. Likely painfully.

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Marvolo sighed softly as he watched Severus stride out of the office. He knew his followers were still wary of his state of mind, understandably. 
Those who had not been part of his resurrection did not know the true extent of how committed he was to his new methods.

 

Asking Lucius and Bellatrix to bring him the Horcruxes that he had left with them had brought mixed results. 
As he had not yet regained his sanity, Lucius barely left with his life. Granted even with his sanity the outcome would have been questionable.

 

Discovering that the locket had been replaced with a fake was also a day when his followers’ devotion was tested. 
In his increased paranoia, he had not been certain who he could trust after belatedly learning of that betrayal. Legilimency had been utilized liberally that day.

 

Thankfully he was able to have Draco retrieve his diadem shortly after the Hogwarts began, passing it off to his father on a Hogsmeade weekend. The poor boy had been terrified of failure after hearing his father tortured in their own home.
In his right mind he would not have given that task to a boy who had just started his fifth year. It was sheer fortune that the Horcrux was retrieved successfully, purportedly without Dumbledore being the wiser. 

Trusting Severus with that task could either have been significantly easier, or the biggest mistake he could have made. At the moment he had Severus tasked at Hogwarts with reporting any plans that Dumbledore shared with his spy. Severus appeared to be completely loyal, though a spy inherently was harder to trust. 
Hearing of the Harry Potter’s condition, he may find himself with one less spy and one full-time potions master. 

 

Losing his insight into Hogwarts would be a significant loss, but many of his followers had connections that could be exploited. Dumbledore’s power would only extend so far.

 

Though underestimating the old coot would never end well. 

 

He had done that once, gotten overconfident in his own strength and influence, and had almost lost everything. 

 

He had split his soul far too many times. It was not just slivered each time, it was halved. Once they had completed the ritual that allowed him to assimilate the Horcruxes that they gathered, he was able to look at the situation with a great deal more clarity. 

 

There was so much on the line. Entire bloodlines were at risk if someone got the idea that they were ‘too dark.’
Libraries of books would be burned if someone sees a passage that they feel is too dangerous. Though if people were given the means to learn, it would not be dangerous at all. Disregard for the sanctity of all branches of magic was a precarious side to play.

 

As Yule was quickly approaching, it also was a key opportunity to subtly introduce those who were ignorant of the solstices and equinoxes to the power that they hold.
The Slytherins had been tasked with inviting those who held sincere interest to the manor for the celebration of Yule, and though it would not be as thorough an event as Marvolo would like, as most traditions were outlawed, it would hopefully open the eyes of those attending. It would let them witness just a glimpse of what they have been missing.

 

Traditions had been lost these last several decades, but damn if he wasn’t going to do his best to help renew as much magic as he was able. 

 

Soon he would find if the Light had truly lost their savior. The next time the Order met, Severus would find out what Remus and Black were like outside of the Order meetings, and with any luck they might be converted. 

 

He had to be patient, he could not lose this new chance he had been gifted by Magic.

 

Notes:

Not me wishing I had Harry turned after fifth year instead so he would be of age faster xD It will still be spicy, but they won’t get together together until Harry is a bit older. Cause, y’know, Harry is young and repressing the true extent of his trauma right now (: There also is the opportunity to show other couples together! *cough Sirius/Remus cough*
I also almost wrote “Marvolo seemed to be fingering his wand” instead of “seemed to be on the verge of casting curses” and was so close to keeping it, but the editor in me revolted xD

Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

Notes:

Sorry for the wait, I’m writing this from a new computer! My computer fell right onto its charging port that was currently in use. Needless to say, it no longer held a charge xD Now hopefully nothing happens for at least another year *fingers crossed and gives my car a side eye* (:
You are all amazing! Over 200 kudos, almost 80 bookmarks, and 3300 hits!! I appreciate every one of you, and I hope you all enjoy this update!
I also decided to post this story on fanfiction.net under the same username, so if you happen to see it there, it’s legit :)

This last week Harry had been taking full advantage of the resources that this townhouse held. While it had been abandoned for quite some time, Mille had ensured that everything had been kept up perfectly. 

It seemed likely that she had taken to cleaning to gain relief from dying of boredom. Which, completely understandable. If he had been stuck in the Dursley’s home alone for over 10 years with no one else ever entering the house, he’s sure he would be less sane than Millie seemed to be. Whether it was a mental fortuity special to house elves or Millie just being different, he was thankful for whichever reason it might have been. Even after a few months alone on the streets he’d had a hard time, and he wasn’t even stuck in a house.

 

He had not been able to relax fully until he had received word from Sirius that Dumbledore did not suspect that they had left the headquarters. If he had noticed, Harry would have been back at square one without a safe place to stay. After hearing from Sirius exploring the house had been one of his favorite pastimes. There was so much hidden away. 

 

He couldn’t help but wonder why his family hadn’t been here when hiding from Voldemort, but it was also for the best. If this house had been destroyed, it would have been a tragedy. So much knowledge and history would have been lost if its location had become public knowledge with no protection. Perhaps he was a little callous thinking about it that way. Ah well. 

He wondered distantly if his turning had deadened his emotions a little. 

Specifically ignoring that there might be another reason for his apathy. 

 

One of Harry’s favorite places in the townhouse was the library. This was one room that made the Wixen ability to make the inside of buildings bigger than the outside extremely evident. While the outside of the house looked average for the London area, that being beautiful but also a bit cramped, the inside was gorgeous and open. While the inside of the townhouses surrounding this one might have enough space for perhaps several bookshelves if you dedicated a room to it, the Potter townhouse’s library was enormous. 

It wasn’t especially well lit with just a window and several lamps, but it had a comfortable ambiance. The drapes on the window were a deep red, and the armchairs in front of it were a warm grey. It was the perfect nook for reading, and he was going to take full advantage of it. 

 

In school he had attempted to remain average. His unwanted fame brought enough attention. 

All that would matter after Hogwarts were his test scores, no employer would care if he botched his potions in class if he got Os on his OWLs and NEWTs. 

He was constantly surprised that his professors did not call him out on it, as his excellent scores in defence should have raised red flags for the less-than-ideal scores in his other classes. Defence was a product of charms, transfiguration, and even potions if you get creative. If one is good at defence, they should, reasonably, then be proficient in the other classes. 

By merely being average in all of his classes other than defence, it should have raised the brow of a professor that paid attention. 

He did not know if it was lucky or unfortunate that no one had said a word to him about his performance save for disappointed scolding. 

 

“Your mother had true talent in charms, give it another try Mr. Potter.”

“Your father was a prodigy in transfigurations, it’s a pity.” 

 

If he didn’t know that he was fully capable of casting the spells assigned, their side comments might have actually given him a complex. 

 

Now, alone in his family’s home, he didn’t have to think about what those he attended Hogwarts with would say. He could be himself without others raising the pedestal even higher. 

 

Granted if they knew what he was now, that pedestal would be crushed quicker than he could blink. It was an eventuality, but he wanted his plans to develop significantly further before that happened. 

 

Connecting with Sirius and finding this home were good first steps, but there was still a long way to go before he could feel halfway settled.

 

The last time he had ventured into Diagon Alley he had been unable to find as detailed a book as he would like on vampires. Even books found in Knockturn had depicted them in a very unflattering light. 

Monsters. Dangerous. Dark. Cruel. Should be killed on sight (laws be damned). 

 

He could not argue the majority of those views, as he knew exactly how he got when he was hungry. However, those views would take up the entire book. Authors apparently considered vampires of little value to society, and thus unworthy of consideration. 

 

Harry knew there were talents he possessed now that he did have have before. There were upsides to having been turned. 

However, none of the books he found gave him any insight as to what these new abilities may be. 

 

If he wanted to kill himself, he now knew of several books dedicated to the topic. 

That sardonic thought was definitely not one he would be sharing with his godfathers, he didn’t think they would enjoy the humour as much. 

 

With the Potters known as being a Light family, he was not sure initially what he would find in the library. 

However, after scouring the shelves from top to bottom and figuring out the sorting system, he was pleasantly surprised.

 

The library had books in almost all categories, and they did not discriminate. It was remarkable considering the reputation that the Potters had in society. 

What really sold him on the library were the books hidden behind a ward. He knew that it existed as he had scanned the room for spells, and after trying to have Millie deactivate it, she had informed him that the ability to view those books belonged solely to the current Lord or Lady Potter. Even if he had found this house before accepting his lordship ring, he would not have been able to access this portion of the library. 

The wards were likely intended to keep out children, though Harry doubted that the creators of the wards had anticipated that one day the only person alive to unlock the wards would be someone that had never seen their fifth year. 

 

He would have to change the wards to make their ability to be accessed more flexible, otherwise these books could be locked away forever. 

 

The room behind those wards was filled from floor to ceiling with tomes. There were a few that he had a feeling would be dangerous if touched and left those well alone, though there were quite a few that were simply fascinating.

 

The majority of these books would be confiscated and destroyed immediately if the ministry knew they existed, but they held some of the answers he had been looking for. 

Though there were not any books that explained the abilities he had gained since being turned, there were books about old customs that he had never heard of before. 

 

Presumably, these books would have played a much more significant role in the lives of this family years ago, as the book he had picked up was obviously well-loved. That the book was in this room and Harry had not heard of these traditions even after searching Diagon Alley spoke a lot of the situation. 

The book was published in the early 1930s, and the idea that the family felt the need to hide it away only made him more curious. Yule, Ostara, Litha, and Beltane were written about in detail. One section of the book that Harry found particularly interesting was Samhain, or Halloween as he had known it. Before Hogwarts he had not thought much of it, as the Dursley’s would not let him participate anyway. After he had come to Hogwarts, it was expected that he would participate in the festivities. Which was a little disturbing as that was the night that his parents had died. 

 

Reading the chapters dedicated to Samhain, he reconsidered his resentment of the day. 

The book listed rituals that allowed Wixen to connect to those who have died, whether it be those they had known in life, or their ancestors. 

The rituals could be conducted alone, but there also were instructions on how to conduct the rituals with a group. 

Harry did not know if he would ever be able to conduct that particular ritual with anyone else, but it sounded like an amazing experience. 

 

With it being the 16th of December, his eyes were also drawn to the section about Yule. 

With the winter solstice being on the 22nd, Yule was quickly approaching. 

So far it seemed like Sirius would support his decisions, he hadn’t lied when he had said he would. However this seemed like an excellent way to test his conviction. Celebrating the solstices and equinoxes was mild compared to a lot of books in this room, the ones on Blood Magic drawing his eye. 

 

If Sirius was agreeable to these rituals, perhaps he would even answer why it might be that the books were in this room. It almost certainly was a cultural shift, though who initiated it was the question.

Harry had a good idea who might have initiated the shift, but assuming doesn’t help anyone. 

 

He brought the book of rituals with him, as well as the one on Blood Magic that had caught his eye. While a book titled Introduction to Blood Magic might have caused him to turn the other way a year ago, Harry liked to think he had become more open-minded in the last few months. 

Whether that was a good thing was debatable, but he didn’t fight these aspects of it as much anymore. 

Walking over to the armchairs by the window, he put the blood magic book on the end table as he settled onto the large chair, sitting sideways with his feet hanging off the side. It was soft, and he had already fallen asleep reading in it more than once. 

 

He had hoped becoming a vampire would come with a side benefit of never having to sleep, and although he had to sleep less, he still dozed often. 

 

He wasn’t going to think about how there might be other reasons for his fatigue, since it remained even after he was feeding more often. Nope, not thinking about it. 

 

He would send a letter through Millie to Sirius to ask about the book on traditions, the Order spent too much time in the headquarters for him to visit so far. The last time Sirius had written him, he had vaguely mentioned that Harry likely would be able to visit soon.

 

After almost an hour of reading further about these holidays, compiling a list of questions as he went, he found himself once again relaxing fully into the chair, the book slowly falling onto his chest. 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

As Severus walked down the street toward Number 12 Grimmauld Place, he mentally prepared himself for the upcoming meeting. 

Running his fingers along the cuff in his pocket that his Lord had given him, he knew that whichever direction the meeting went, it was bound to be interesting. 

Before the last meeting, he did not have any interest in learning how Black and Lupin interacted with Albus. However, seeing Black stand up for himself and for Potter, it made their dynamic a lot more interesting. 

With Sirius potentially starting to separate from the Headmaster combined with his connection to Potter, the war could go in a different direction than they had initially thought. 

 

Striding up the steps, he steeled himself before turning the knob. 

With a cursory glance around after stepping in, he noted that he was the first to arrive, which was surprising. 

Black and Lupin were sitting at the table that the Order usually gathered around, both drinking coffee. Though Sirius’ was much lighter than Lupin’s. 

 

They looked up as he walked in quietly. He raised a brow, looking around, asking without words where everyone else was, as he wasn’t exactly early. He has never attempted to be the first in attendance. 

 

Sirius just looked tired as he looked back down at his coffee.

“Severus, could you please pull up a chair? I have some questions, and I have a feeling you are the only one who will give us straight answers.”

Notes:

Thank you for reading!! Your comments give me life <3
The next update will put the word count over 20k! Quite exciting!
Where do y’all see this story going? The tags give hints, but don’t give away the why or how ;) I hope you all are enjoying the journey!
I just keep giving Harry more means to repress and ignore his emotions.. oops :)

Chapter 10: Chapter Ten

Notes:

When I thought I knew what was going to happen Sirius switched up the plot and wanted his story told xD In some ways, I find out what’s going to happen as we go along as well!
Let’s find out what Sirius and Remus have been up to and get transported back in time for some -sirius- reminiscing and back story ;)

Last Time:

They looked up as he walked in quietly. He raised a brow, looking around, asking without words where everyone else was, as he wasn’t exactly early. He has never attempted to be the first in attendance. 

Sirius just looked tired.

“Severus, could you please pull up a chair? I have some questions, and I have a feeling you are the only one who will give us straight answers.”

 

Two Days Prior:

 

Remus leaned onto the table with his head in his hands. Heaving a sigh that had Sirius humming in agreement. 

Books were scattered across the desk in the library, and after days of looking for ways to undo an Obliviate, they were realising they simply didn’t have the right skills to pull it off. 

Sirius was decently proficient in Occlumency as his family ensured he was fully capable of protecting his mind from a young age.

Remus had a basic proficiency, as it was a good idea on principle to at least be able to detect when someone is attempting Legilimency, though that is all he would be able to do. 

 

Sirius was tempted to ask Kreacher to bring some whiskey to the library, but he knew the level of passive aggression would increase for the next few days if he did. The elf was particularly vigilant about the books remaining in immaculate condition, and adding the consumption of alcohol to their search would potentially work against that.

 

This likely was an overcompensation from him overhearing the Order speak about getting rid of the books. Not that Sirius would ever let them. 

 

Granted the lack of alcohol was likely for the best as it would have been counterproductive anyway, though it would have made him feel better for a moment. And he definitely wasn’t pouting about that. 

 

Spending time in the library also gave them both an escape from Albus and the rest of the Order. 

While they were furious with Albus about how he had treated them in the past, and more recently how he handled Harry’s disappearance, the rest of the Order had not given them solid evidence that they were complicit. 

While Molly had defended the headmaster at first, she had fallen back when Albus had started to describe the condition in which they had found the Dursley’s. 

 

They were fairly certain that Bill and Snape were not under Dumbledore’s thumb. 

It was harder to tell with Severus, as had been indebted to the headmaster for some time. However, he balanced the line with skill. His ability to act how both sides wanted in a fashion that allowed him his freedom was commendable. 

It made it difficult to trust him completely, but it was commendable.

 

Sirius knew he wouldn’t last a day in Snape’s shoes, though he supposed that was why he had been sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin. 

Regulus had also possessed that ability, though not to the degree of mastery that Severus accomplished. Which made sense, given that Severus had several more years to perfect his masks. 

 

He missed his brother, and having learned even a fraction of the truth made him wish he had stood up against Dumbledore sooner. He knew why he had not in the past, though now his reasons felt inadequate.

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Having grown up with James just a 10-minute walk away, there was a camaraderie that they had come to need. 

Regulus was with them then, and the majority of their time was spent in James’ home. 

They needed a break when even after Voldemort started to go insane his parents stayed just as fanatical. 

 

After being sorted into Gryffindor, he became forcibly distant from his brother, the prejudice that was rampant in the school infected their relationship. 

He wanted to stay close to Regulus, after all, growing up they relied on each other. However, it was social conditioning that created a divide between them. 

Dumbledore ruled the school with an iron fist in a velvet glove. 

Slytherins were to oppose Gryffindors, and anyone who fought against that standard was subtly ostracised.

Sometimes not so subtly.

 

The year’s highlight was the developing friendship between James, Remus, Peter, and himself.

 

Everyone in the school assumed that Sirius was the outlier, that Regulus would inevitably be a Slytherin just like the rest of his family. Speaking well of his brother did not go over well. 

 

The first year of Sirius’ time at Hogwarts was beyond difficult for both of them. Regulus was stuck at home with their mother, and Sirius felt his brother pulling away.

 

Thankfully when Regulus came to Hogwarts, despite the house differences, there were parts of the year where it felt like they were transported back to pre-Hogwarts days. Where they could simply enjoy being brothers.

The holidays were quite different compared to the first year, as Regulus would bring Severus Snape, and Sirius would be Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew along with James. 

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James had seen Severus during their celebrations, as those who celebrate the old traditions knew and supported one another. Already being familiar, Sirius didn’t hesitate to introduce Regulus and Severus. 

 

While participating in the old traditions was a free ticket to months of detention, they all valued the opportunities they had to celebrate together. 

Group rituals always had them walking away with lighter steps.

 

Being able to see each other on the holidays was sufficient for the first few years of school. 

 

During the celebration of Beltane in their fourth year, Remus had started to pursue Sirius. The energy of the festivities and the tension that had grown progressively between them that year culminated in some rather passionate moments after they got back to the dorms. Thank goodness for silencing charms. As though the rest of the dorm didn’t know what they were doing, made evident by the speed in which they vacated the room. 

 

Fifth year was boring relative to other years, save for becoming Animagi, which was fantastic. Sirius would treasure those memories of the full moon forever. Granted, Regulus had to stay behind as it was a little dangerous for a small black cat, and Severus refused.

He would have taken boring over what followed. 

 

Sixth year was brutal. 

 

James was pursuing Lily, who was adamantly against the old traditions. Severus had already tried to convince her of their value while they were growing up and had given up, as her family considered such practices evil. Which, ironic. Sirius and Regulus attempted to convince James that the old traditions were worth more than a school crush, but James had shot that down vehemently. 

 

Looking back, Sirius wouldn’t be surprised in the least if his sudden turnaround had been orchestrated by Dumbledore. In fact, he was almost certain of it. 

He maintained his friendship with James, after all they were brothers in all but blood, but it would never be quite the same.

Peter stayed with them, as he likely had nowhere else to go. He had always been the most distant out of their group. 

 

The summer before seventh year Sirius was rather focused on Remus, and spent quite a bit of time alone with his boyfriend, much to the joking outrage Regulus put out. 

That also was the summer that Walburga started insisting they make progress towards following the Dark Lord, as “she had been too lenient with them in the previous years.”

 

They both put it off for as long as they could, and they took comfort in that when they got out of Hogwarts, they would be free from her influence. They could find jobs that would allow them to live far away from her. 

The laws were better for werewolves outside of the UK anyway. 

 

All of their plans came crumbling when Sirius returned from spending time with Remus, James, and Peter.

When he entered the house, his mother looked furious. This was not unusual, but he had no desire to confront her. 

Making his way up to his room, he heard sobbing when passing by his brother’s room. This was also unusual, as even if his mother had done something Regulus typically used silencing charms to pretend nothing had occurred. 

Unlocking the door with a quick Alohomora he walked in. 

 

He froze when he saw the blood. 

 

His brother was on his bed facing away from the door, shivering. He was curled protectively around his left arm, and from his position Sirius could see that the blood was coming from Regulus’ back. 

 

It had been whipped clean through his robes. 

 

Feeling nauseated, Sirius quickly made his way to the bed. 

 

“Regulus, can you hear me?” He kept his voice quiet in case his brother also had a concussion. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 

His voice caused Regulus to freeze, before he began to sob even harder. 

 

Walking around the bed, Sirius tried to reach out to get Regulus to look at him, but then his hand paused. 

On his brother’s arm was the dark mark. 

 

He was too young. 16 was far too young.

 

Sensing Sirius stop, Regulus pulled his arm in closer as he squinted his eyes open. 

They were bloodshot, and he only looked partially lucid. 

 

“Woon’t take no for’n answer..” The slur caused by pain was understandable enough, and it made Sirius livid. 

With that brand there was no way he would have a normal life. 

 

Likely noticing Sirius about to make yet another rash decision, Regulus grabbed his arm tightly, wincing as that caused his left arm to take more weight. 

 

“Nuh, s’not worth it.” Sirius was about to curse out his brother regardless of his state when he stopped, really looking at his face. 

It was resigned, and desperate. 

 

Now that their mother had forced one son into the monster’s service, she likely wouldn’t be as adamant about forcing Sirius. He was a Gryffindor of course, which brought him leniency in her expectations for perfection as he was already imperfect.

 

They both knew where this would lead, and the parts they would have to play. 

 

Unfortunately, a side effect of Regulus being forced into Voldemort’s service was Severus feeling like he needed to also join to help protect Regulus. They might have been avoiding acknowledging what they meant to each other, but after Severus had seen what happened to Regulus the unsurety of their positions he felt his hesitation seemed juvenile. 

The Dark Lord was skeptical about Severus’ loyalty, which was fair, but was ultimately convinced due to Severus’ skill with potions. 

Severus was well on his way to becoming a potions master, and having one of those on your side was quite the boon. 

 

Back in Hogwarts Regulus and Severus had to maintain their distance from the others so as to not cause Voldemort to become suspicious if he heard from one of his followers that the brothers were close.

 

Sirius was dreading leaving Hogwarts now. Before they had plans, but now those were scattered to the wind. 

Remus gave him comfort, and they were each other’s rocks through that year. 

When Sirius felt like he was falling apart, Remus was there to help him piece himself back together.

 

When Remus felt like he was being torn apart as his wolf was yearning for all of his pack mates, Sirius held him. 

 

The full moons were still special to them all, and he was thankful they still had that at least. 

 

When the end of Hogwarts arrived for them all except for Regulus, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. 

 

It was after Hogwarts that another major shift happened that was extremely obvious in hindsight. 

James had been pulling away slowly up to that point, but after they graduated, Sirius found out he had become involved with what he called The Order of the Phoenix. A group fighting against Voldemort. 

 

He had never believed Voldemort would bring good into the wizarding world, especially once he lost his mind. What he read about the policies he attempted to pass beforehand would have been fantastic additions. That seemed to vanish before he even entered Hogwarts. 

 

What the Dark Lord had turned into he could get behind fighting against. 

 

What was out of character for him however, though he did not notice it at the time, was his willingness to forego a career to join the Order full-time. 

He had made plans for after Hogwarts, and even after the initial plans crumbled, he still wanted to make something of himself that separated him from Britain, and Remus had agreed with him. 

 

Though they did not know it until later, the old man’s manipulations caused his change in heart.

His manipulations caused Regulus’ death.

Sirius was certain Dumbledore was the cause of more than he knew. 

 

Severus had broken when Regulus died. They had a bond, and he could feel it the moment Regulus’ heart had stopped. Severus and Sirius were not seeing much of each other at that point, but the letters sent between them had been tear-stained. 

 

Some days he wished things had turned out differently. 

 

He did not regret becoming a Gryffindor, he knew that was where he belonged. He acted far too rashly to fit in with the snakes. 

 

He did not regret introducing Severus and Regulus. They had loved each other dearly until the end. 

 

He did wish he had stood up against Dumbledore. Then his brothers and his friends might still be alive.

 

While he couldn't change the past, a good first step is remembering whatever Albus felt they needed to forget.

To accomplish that, according to their research, they needed a master Legilimens. For the average person this would be a challenge. However, with Severus' experience as a spy he was perfect, though they had not been close in far too long a time. 

 

Reaching out and scheduling a time for Snape to come by via owl was out of the question due to trackers, but forcing the Order meeting to be rescheduled and make everyone want to leave for the evening? That was feasible.

Notes:

Whew, almost 11pm and that wraps up that chapter! Had to rewrite this about four times as the timelines kept tripping me up xD I tried to keep it as canon as possible without it being canon at all (: I hope you like the different take on the Marauders’ years in Hogwarts!!

Sirius meeting James
[Frederick Street]

Severus being turned (rape/noncon)
[The First Bite]

Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven

Notes:

Last day of the four-day weekend! Trying to make the most of it.

Thank you for your support!!! It's hard to believe this story has almost 300 kudos in less than 2 weeks! You all are amazing. It is so motivating to read the comments and interact with you :)

I was torn between the idea of the one-shots or the prequel, but I think I may go the one-shot route! I don’t know when I would have been able to start writing a full prequel as I want to see the main story through, and I really want to write about the Marauders, the last chapter made me crave telling more of their story xD
It also would create a place to post other scenes that didn’t quite make it in.

 

UPDATE: Story posted, titled "Immortal Flight", where I will be posting extra one-shots! I will also be linking to the one-shots at the end of the chapters that they relate to.
I'm extremely excited, it'll be a great collection! First chapter is Sirius meeting James for the first time.

 

Now the conversation many of you were hoping would be in the last chapter (:

When Severus had sat down at the table, Sirius had Kreacher bring a cup of tea. Prior to the meeting he had instructed the elf to add a vial of blood to the tea, though he wasn’t sure Snape would enjoy it as much as Harry did, it was worth trying out. 

 

Seeing Severus pick it up and look at it with interest, obviously noting the smell of blood, Sirius let out a bit of a chuckle. 

“A trick we picked up from Harry, a bit of blood with the tea. He can’t get enough of it.” 

This caused both of his eyebrows to rise sharply, and he looked expectantly at both of them while taking his first sip of the tea. 

 

They had to grin, reading his silent cues was something they had missed. He always had been quieter of the pair. 

 

Remus smiled softly while answering the unasked question.“Harry is safe. In fact, I think he’s safer right now than he ever has been.” Smiling with his lips on the edge of the cup, his eyes took on a proud glint. “He has started to grow into himself since he separated from Dumbledore. It has only proven how much he had been holding himself back. Granted, the level of independence he has now came with a price.”

 The reminder of what his cub had been forced to go through diminished his smile. “We can tell that he is actively suppressing what happened the day he was turned. Though we don’t know everything that he went through on the streets, we know that it wasn’t an easy transition.”

 

Severus looked at Remus sharply. “Of course it wasn’t an easy transition. There was never any hope that it would be. With his summer living situation, there was almost no chance of a vampire turning him that had any intention of helping his through his transition.” His expression turned sympathetic. 

“Being alone through the experience of turning and feeding on a human for the first time is not something I would wish on anyone.” He grimaced before looking back down, taking another sip of tea, and letting out a quiet sigh. “This is good, I don’t know why I never thought of it before.” 

 

They all knew it was a blatant topic changer, which was unlike him. Severus had never disclosed to them how he himself had been turned. All they knew was that it happened sometime after Hogwarts. He didn’t hide it, but he didn’t flaunt it either. The Order carefully avoided acknowledging Severus during the meetings, preferring to pretend they didn’t frequently inadvertently speak against him when their views on creatures were brought up in conversation. Albus’ use of him overrode their dislike. 

 

After another sip, his shoulders slumped as he set the cup down on the table. 

“You say that he is safe, is he safe enough to send letters to? That route had not worked before, and I have been hesitant since hearing about what had happened at Privet Drive from Alastor.”

 

Both Remus and Sirius narrowed their eyes at hearing that. “Now wait a damn minute, are we the last ones to find out about this!?” Sirius looked furious, and that fury was met with an unflinching side glance from Snape. He knew where the anger was really directed.

 

“I’m certain the Weasley family and the majority of the order found out at the same time you did, though I cannot say such with complete certainty. I likely only found out as I was speaking with Albus when Alastor came back from his check-in, though that might have been by design. I wouldn’t put it past him.” 

 

Remus snorted softly and scowled at that. His eyes were now dimly glowing a light amber. “Isn’t that the truth. That bastard hasn’t changed a bit over the years, if anything he has got worse.”

 

This had Severus looking between them with surprise, almost making Sirius smile as that was more expression than he typically allowed, different forms of derision put aside. 

 

“I was glad to see you finally speak against the headmaster in the last meeting, though I had thought that was more of a recent development? It seemed like you were perfectly content to go along with anything he said, especially right after graduating.” His voice had a slightly suspicious note, hidden well save from those who knew him. 

It may have been a long time since they had been close, but they still had known Severus for years. 

 

“That was part of what we wanted to talk to you about, before we talk much further about Harry.” Sirius fiddled with the sleeve of his robe slightly, attempting to stave off the nerves. 

 

As Severus was waiting for him to continue, a level of patience he hadn’t seen from the man in some time, Remus started talking as the silence went on for a touch too long. 

 

“We came across the information that we might have been Obliviated.” His softly spoken words were met with a startled expression. 

 

“What? What led you to having that suspicion?” As Severus sat up straighter and started to look at them both intently, they couldn’t help but feel hopeful. 

Even though Sirius had never been as close to Snape as Regulus had been (and he never would, thank you very much) he still would have eventually been a brother in all but blood. Their personalities had always clashed a little, but there used to have been a fond tolerance. Perhaps it had not disappeared completely. 

 

“We know that Albus has attempted to sway our decisions with less than legal means before, but we do not have a leg to stand one when it comes to fighting against it. With my being a fugitive and Remus being a werewolf, there is no way we could win anything against the Chief Warlock, much less with all of his other titles combined. Hearing about the possibility of Obliviation was not as surprising as I wish it had been.” Not just a little bitter, Sirius sneered, looking away from both Severus and Remus. 

 

He knew the laws, and he knew that in theory he should have been able to fight to at least get a trial, but while he was in Azkaban, there was no provision made for him to appeal. Even now, Albus spoke against his trying to get a case made every time it was even vaguely brought up. 

Even though he was outside of the prison, he was still cuffed. 

 

Severus looked pensive, and his brow was still furrowed with concern. He knew what it was like to be behind bars while you were walking free. 

Ever since the Dark Lord had regained his sanity some of his hope had returned, but there were still a lot of factors that could go terribly wrong. 

 

“Obliviation leaves a mark on the mind. I can check for you if you wish? I assume that is what you both were looking to ask?” The tone was hesitant and reserved. 

 

Sirius signed slightly in relief. “That is what we were hoping. Simple confirmation at this point would be ideal. If there has been Obliviation, we can move on from there, but just knowing for certain would be a good start.” 

 

Severus nodded in agreement and put both of his elbows on the table, leaning forward. “Are you ready to get started now?” 

 

Once both Remus and Sirius assented, he turned to Sirius first. “I am sure you are familiar with the procedure though as a reminder, make sure to maintain eye contact. There will be slight discomfort, but it should not hurt.” After he received permission, Severus began. 

 

“Legilimens”

 

Once Severus had established a connection, he began to gently look over the first layer of Black’s defences. They were solid, as was expected of someone raised in a pureblood household, and they were impressive considering he had spent 12 years amongst Dementors. 

 

A typical indicator of Obliviation was the presence of fragmentation and/or cracks, typically holding a magical signature. The spell was brutal, especially for someone who had well established walls. It could be done subtly if someone was a master, but that didn’t take away from the devastating and lasting results on the target's walls.

 

It also took a master to undo any portion of the damage, which was undoubtedly why they had sought to meet with him alone despite having not reached out in years. Regardless of knowing it wasn’t fully their choice to push him away, it was still painful. 

 

Though the Obliviation was clearly the work of an expert, which was worrisome considering the spell the mastery concerned, the signs were there. It took a thorough study of the extensive walls to find those signs, but he had their confirmation. 

 

After locating the fractures, he exited Sirius’ mind. 

 

Sirius blinked rapidly, looking slightly disorientated as was common after having your mental barriers thoroughly examined. 

 

Remus looked resigned after noting Severus’ expression. “We were right, weren’t we?” 

Sirius seemed to collapse on himself as he processed that. 

 

“We know that at least Black was Obliviated. And as I am very familiar with the magical signature attached to the fractures we also know who, I can confirm that you were unfortunutely also correct in that regard.” 

 

The mood in the room was subdued, and they all acknowledged silently that things were about to get a lot more complicated. 

It was anyone’s guess what Albus was trying to hide or change, and Sirius was half tempted to leave it be. 

They knew what Snape would find, but they both had held a slight hope that perhaps Harry had been mistaken when he had seen the white glow around them both. 

 

After agreeing for Remus to be scanned as well, Severus spoke the same incantation and dived in carefully. 

Unlike Black’s, Lupin’s mindscape was a mess. 

 

There were no walls in sight, and it being fractured was a gross understatement. The signs of Obliviation were different in someone who wasn’t proficient in Occlumency, but finding the magical signature, especially when you knew what you were looking for, helped locate the damage specific to the spell. 

 

The “border” of his mindscape so to speak, was what spoke of the damage. Though the mindscape itself was chaos, the amount of tears that were in his mind were concerning. Though he knew they hoped he would be able to fix the damage in its entirety, he wasn’t absolutely certain he would be able to with Remus. Though he would keep that to himself until he knew more.

 

He purposefully didn’t go any deeper, which was difficult to accomplish when the memories were so accessible. That would also have to be something they addressed at a later date. Exiting Lupin’s mind, he disclosed what he had found. 

 

Sirius surprisingly was the one to express his surprise. “I thought Albus would be more concerned with altering my memories, since I’ve been more vocal?”

 

“Though the headmaster is a master legilimens, your shields are significantly harder to break through. Especially if he was going for subtlety. If your shields had been like Lupin’s, the situation would have been much worse than it already is.” 

 

They both paled slightly at hearing that. 

 

Clearing his throat, Snape moved the conversation along. “Do you want me to attempt to fix those fissures today? Or do you want to schedule this for another day?” Severus looked understanding, and they knew why he was asking.

They had planned originally to get everything sorted today while they had the opportunity, but they both knew they were not ready for another invasive procedure. 

As gentle as the spell had been, it was taxing for everyone involved. 

 

Sirius conceded that it might be a good idea to wait. “As much as I wanted to get it out of the way, since the Order is always here and privacy is nonexistent, waiting would be best.”

 

Snape gave him a slightly disbelieving look. “I know you’re not an idiot Black, you have the means to kick them out if you truly wish it.”

 

Sirius scoffed. “And I thought you were a Slytherin! You know Albus would be after us thrice as hard if we let on that we know what he has done. Pretending to be oblivious is the only reason they leave us alone at all.” 

 

All this did was have Severus laughing. Which neither of them had heard in years. 

It was quiet, but it was a laugh nonetheless.

 

“And you wouldn’t have to see him at all if you kick him out. You would have to be careful, outside of the house of course, but you would be free. And Glamour Charms do exist. Anything that Albus would try to put against you in response would only create opportunity to turn it back against him, especially if he doesn’t have direct access to you. Sirius, you are the secret keeper. He doesn’t even have to remember that this house exists.”

 

After they both stared at him for a moment, there was a thunk followed by a loud sigh as Remus let his head fall to the table.

Notes:

I hope you all like the chapter! I find their dynamic in this story to be interesting. They have a history, but there’s a lot of missing time. So much can happen in 14 years, especially with Dumbledore’s meddling.

If anyone would potentially be interested, the spotify playlist I always listen to while writing is titled “Dark Vibes” since almost everything I write has that vibe xD It can be found by _Hypeitup_

Next time Harry will join them at Grimmauld, that can only go well, right? (:

Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve

Notes:

I can’t believe it, over 300 kudos, just hit 100 bookmarks, and over 5300 hits! Thank you again for all of the support!!! I love reading your comments <3

The one-shot series is posted! I’m calling it “Immortal Flight” I’m pretty excited about it! It took me several tries to settle on a title xD The first one-shot has some Black family dynamics and then Sirius and James meeting for the first time :) The length of these one-shots will vary enormously I’m sure. Some may be really short, some may end up having multiple parts. I’ll definitely take suggestions for one-shots <3

Even though this chapter is the same length as others, it felt a lot shorter for some reason, regardless I hope you enjoy this new update!!

Just as Harry was making a note about laws passed concerning old traditions in the Wizengamot to ask Sirius about later, Kreacher popped into the library. 

 

He never spent more than a few seconds at a time in the townhouse, and this morning was no different as he dropped a note on the table before popping away again.

 

Picking up the note, Harry was happy to see that it was from Remus this time rather than Sirius. As much as he loved his godfather, he was thankful for Remus. He obviously brought a lot of stability to Sirius’ life. 

 

His eyes skimmed the piece of parchment before he put the note on the table and started to quickly pack up his research into a bag. He didn’t know what books Sirius had and didn’t want to miss out on any opportunities to ask him questions if the chance came up. 

 

Walking down to the Floo, he grabbed the powder, threw it in, and called out for Number 12 Grimmauld Place. 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

When Harry arrived, the air of the house was different than he had expected. The house was dark, not just concerning the lighting, and it wasn’t as open as the Potter Townhouse was. It was immediately evident that differences in the families that had occupied those homes. He didn’t might the darkness of the house. Sometimes the townhouse was too bright, which was part of the reason he favoured the library. 

 

For some reason, the home also felt sad. He didn’t know how else to explain it, the air itself seemed to resonate with misery. It seemed to live in the walls, and he wished he knew how to turn this new feeling off. Something else to work on, he supposed.

 

After his initial glance around, he heard Sirius run downstairs. Sometimes Harry was surprised Sirius was in his late 30s, though Azkaban likely had something to do with that.

 

“Harry! Glad you could come over to my humble abode so quickly!” He stood in front of Harry a little awkwardly, looking like he wanted to give him a hug, but restraining himself, which Harry was very grateful for.

 

Though he knew his godfather meant well, and they had left off with a hug, right now he wasn’t feeling up to the physical contact.

 

He grinned at Sirius, and was glad to receive one just as wide. 

 

“I’m happy to see you Sirius. I’m sorry the Order has been such a pain this week!” 
Voice coming out a little sheepish, he hoped that the reason they were meeting so often wasn’t because of him.

 

“Well, they certainly had other places they could have been, that is for certain. It is almost Yule! Or, Christmas as they would call it.” He turned quickly from consternation to glee. “That reminds me! I have the books that you asked for. When I told Kreacher what books to pick out he looked ectatic. Which on him just looked creepy. But at least you made him happy.” With a shrug of his shoulders, his grin turned softer. “I’m happy you asked for them too pup. There is a lot to learn in those books.” 

 

Harry nodded instantly. “They are fantastic, thank you for letting me borrow them! The Potter library had a few books on the subject but the ones you leant me explained the rituals in a lot more depth.” He took the chance of asking about the rituals up front, and he was glad he did when that seemed to heighten Sirius’ enthusiasm. 

 

“The rituals are amazing! They were the parts of the year that I used to really look forward to as a kid. No matter your day to day relationship with someone, there is a connection that forms during the festivities. People and positions just because magic, it all seems to meld together. The energy is amazing.” The look of bliss on Sirius’ face made Harry all the more eager to try one of these rituals at least. He wanted to experience what everyone seemed to love about those moments.

 

They walked toward the kitchen and Harry saw that Remus had been busy finishing preparing their lunch. Turning his head, Remus smiled. “I hope you don’t mind if we eat while we talk? We slept in a bit this morning, just getting started really.” Remus looked a little sheepish at this, and Harry wasn’t sure why, everyone had a day where they just wanted to sleep in. 

 

“It’s okay! Maybe I’ll ask Millie to bring some blood. She gets it from somewhere, but I’m not sure where. I’ve never dared to ask.” It was his turn to be abashed. He’s certain Millie would answer him if he asked, but he worried he wouldn’t like the answer. 

 

Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “That’s an easy answer! There are blood banks for vampires. Not many, and the stock can be limited, which can be problematic, but they do exist. 

 

At this, Harry just felt worse. There were vampires out there that perhaps had to resort to risking themselves to have what they needed. That was him on the streets, and it was a dangerous way to live. He wasn’t surprised the Wizengamot hadn’t fixed this issue, but it was still disheartening.
He was comfortable enough in his ability to defend himself, but that wouldn’t be everyone’s position. 

 

Seeing his discomfort, Remus turned away from the counter to face him, speaking gently. “Cub, you do realize you have options? Sirius and I both wouldn’t hesitate to help you if you are ever hungry. You don’t need to force yourself to go hungry anymore.” When Remus looked at him while saying that, Harry detected no dishonesty. They honestly were willing to feed him if he was hungry.

 

He looked a bit beyond Remus’ shoulder in thought. He wasn’t sure what feeding from people he considered his parents would be like. There had to be an instinct built in that prevented anything awkward between relatives, or pseudo-relatives. Though, he didn’t know that for sure. 

 

“While I’m extremely grateful for the offer Remus, I’m not sure that’s the best idea… Feeing off of someone isn’t always.. family friendly.” Awkward didn’t describe it well enough, but Sirius laughed from behind them. 

 

Turning to him, a little miffed, Harry crossed his arms and just waited. 

 

Sirius just grinned. “Alright alright, no need to get your knickers in a twist. Harry, you would be fine. I understand how vampire feedings usually go, I’ve been a part of more than one. We both have.” He sent a roughish grin toward his partner, getting an amused snort in response. 
“It’s different with family pup. For there to be side effects, so to speak, you have to have an attraction toward the target to begin with.” Sirius stopped talking with a concerned frown when Harry seemed to sway. “Pup? What’s wrong”

 

“Does the target have to feel attraction as well for them to have a response?” His voice was thin, and he could hardly get that question out. 

 

Sirius and Remus both looked alarmed at his question. “No pup! It’s the vampire that is the determining factor. This leads to some beyond questionable encounters, but that is why a relative will remain uneffected, the vampire does not desire them. Or, most of the time the relative is uneffected. Except for obvious outliers.” He looked a little uncomfortable himself at that, but he was also glad to see Harry looked less like he was about to collapse. 
He knew what happened to Harry was traumatizing, and he didn’t want to make that trauma worse in any way. 

 

“May I give you a hug cub?” Remus looked like he needed one just as much, and Harry turned slightly and leaned into his chest. Remus’ scent combined with the arms tightening around him helped ground him to the present. 

 

After several moments, he spoke quietly. “I would like to try it.” His already quiet voice was muffled from within the hug, but both of his godfathers heard him just fine. 

 

The arms squeezed him quickly before moving like Remus was going to let go. 

 

“Not yet, can we just be here for a few more minutes?” He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out pleading, but he didn’t take it back.

 

“Of course, as long as you need Harry.” 

 

<<-< S.O.A.R. >->>

 

Once Harry had pulled himself together, Sirius gathered their lunch and moved into the sitting room. The couch was comfortable, and Harry was thankful the room wasn’t bright. The dim atmosphere fit his mood now. 

 

After Sirius set the food down on the table in front of the couch, he sat on the couch to Harry’s right, and turned to him. 
“Do you have a preference on who you would like to feed from? We’re both equally willing to help you out.” 

 

Harry paused for a long moment. His brain had stalled with that question. He loved both of his godfathers, but he had to admit he was closer to Sirius. Despite having Remus as a teacher for a whole year, the werewolf hadn’t tried overly hard to form a connection. Dumbledore was undoubtedly the root cause of that, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt at the time or left residual pain.

 

Taking a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself. “If you wouldn’t mind Sirius?” 

 

“I offered Harry, I don’t mind at all. Have you ever drank from the wrist before?” 

 

Shaking his head, Harry looked down a little. 

 

“That’s perfectly fine pup. It’s not too different from feeding from the neck, except it isn’t quite as quick of a drain so long as the wrist isn’t torn. Just lick the wrist so it’s numb, and bite down as you normally would.” Sirius was patient as he explained, and Harry was thankful for that. He also felt horrible as Sirius explained that there was a way to numb the skin before the bite. He had no idea. 

 

Properly interpreting Harry’s wince, Sirius maintained his smile. “It’s okay to not know everything, you are just learning, and haven’t had anyone to teach you. I’m sorry I didn’t try to explain anything the last time we saw you. I should have prioritized it.”

 

Harry shook his head. “No, there was a lot going on, and you had just learned some upsetting things. It’s okay, really. I’m just glad to be learning it now.” He straightened his back and cleared any guilt from his face. Being guilty wouldn’t help.

 

Sirius looked sad for a moment, but nodded in acceptance. “Thank you Harry. Are you ready to try? I’ll put my hand on your shoulder when it’s time to stop.” Pulling his left sleeve up, he turned his wrist upward. 

 

Harry carefully held his godfather’s arm up, and he licked the skin of the wrist several times before delicately biting down. 
At once he was overwhelmed. 

 

The blood that Millie brought was fantastic, there was no doubt about that, but there was something exhilarating about drinking directly from the source. 
His godfathers had been right, this was nothing like drinking from other people. The lust was absent, thank the gods, else he might die of mortification. Vampirism be damned. Instead, it was replaced with a sense of complete calm and comfort. 

 

He relaxed into it, sucking the blood languidly. 
It was like being wrapped in a comforter on a cold winter day. He thought of Hogwarts, sitting in front of the fire, warm while it was snowing outside. 
The hugs that Sirius and Remus would give him, holding him just tightly enough. 
Reading the letters they sent him, telling him in every one of them how much they loved him.
It was almost devastating with how it compared to his usual state. He didn’t know how stressed and tense he had been before.

 

 All too soon, he felt Sirius’ hand on his shoulder. He withdrew his fangs from the wrist, and the sigh he let out was almost a whine. 

 

“Do you need anymore blood Harry?” Sirius’ voice was soft, and he looked kindly at Harry while he absent mindedly cast a healing charm on his wrist. 

 

While he wasn’t full, he also wasn’t hungry, so he shook his head. 

 

Remus looked at him from the armchair to the left of Sirius. He had noticed the hesitation, and offered his own wrist. “It’s okay Harry, please, we really want to be there for you cub.” 
He looked at the offered wrist, enticed by the prospect of feeling that peace again. To feel full after feeding off of someone, without the danger. 
Shyly, he got up from the couch and sat on the short table’s edge in front of his other godfather. Carefully lifting Remus’ wrist like he had Sirius’, he licked before biting down. 

 

Feeding from Remus was a little different. Instead of a wave of calm, he felt a wave of protection. The feeling of knowing you can be vulnerable and not having to worry about being strong for a moment. Knowing logically that so much can go wrong, but so long as you have someone you can count on, you can face anything. 
Strength. 

 

This time Harry stopped before he felt a hand warning him. He felt comfortably full, and extremely content. His head felt a bit like cotton, and he suddenly just wanted to sleep. 

 

Remus chuckled, though he could hardly hear it. “We should have guessed that would happen. It’s a good thing that the house is empty now. Granted there will be less time before Severus arrives, do you think-” He faded out of the conversation, and he felt someone stop him from leaning forward. 
After a moment, he jolted slightly. Someone was shaking his shoulder gently. 
“Cub, do you want to go lay down for a few moments? We can continue our conversation a bit later.” The voice was still fuzzy, but he nodded his head, forcing himself to stand. He leaned a bit on whoever it was that had woken him up, it smelled like Remus. 

 

He was led to a bed, and he collapsed onto it. He thought he heard a chuckle, but he didn’t care. He vaguely heard someone say something about a system overwhelm. 

 

A second later, he was unconscious.

Notes:

I get promoted tomorrow!!!! It’s a promotion that happens automatically if you don’t get in trouble, but a win is a win xD Been waiting two years! *cheers!*

Thank you for reading! The chapter went a different direction than I thought it would, Harry was too hungry to continue to conversation I suppose (: I thought about including the conversation, but it's 10pm and I wanted to post this before going to sleep. I'll write it after work tomorrow! <3
Next time they will actually have their conversation, and Severus will arrive!

Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen

Notes:

Tomorrow is Friday!!! Extremely happy about that. Going to play so much Skyrim this weekend xD
I say this every time, but y’all are amazing!! While with my original novel I have to find the internal motivation to write, seeing live feedback on these chapters is incredibly motivating. It’s never been so easy to meet my daily writing goals! I appreciate you. <3

Harry stared vacantly at the table in front of the couch as he sipped on his blood tea. Remus was sitting quietly reading a book next to him, and Sirius was leaning on Remus. At least he never had to worry about telling them if he ever found a boyfriend. 

 

When he had woken up he had been extremely groggy and confused, especially since he somehow felt content despite not knowing where he was. 
Slowly it had come back to him that he was in Sirius’ home, and from there he quietly had made his way downstairs, startling the two men. 

 

Thankfully they took his lack of total awareness with grace, and just settled him on the couch. 

 

As he unhurriedly drained his cup, he started to become in tune with his surroundings, his eyes gaining a bit more sharpness. 

 

Looking over to Remus, he smiled happily as he saw the domestic scene. One day he would like something like that. 
With a side of his partner joining him hunting perhaps. 

 

He still wanted to find a donor, but he really didn’t want to give up the hunt fully. He enjoyed it far to much to give up. 
Some days he felt guilty. 
His chest seemed to hurt on those days.

 

He knew why, but he also knew it was easier to live in the moment. Thinking about what happened months ago seemed counter-productive.
Just enjoying himself was not an option that he had before, and he quite liked the idea of holding onto that for a while. 

 

He had even more to distract him now, and while he needed to learn more of the other side of the war, as what else could opposing Dumbledore be considered? 

 

He couldn’t get anywhere without learning all he could. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward to set the teacup down before sitting up. 

 

Remus turned slightly to look at him, and Sirius startled a bit, obviously having been dozing. 
Remus’ eyes flickered over to him, and his smile turned very fond. 
This clearly happened often.

 

“How are you feeling cub?” Remus asked him gently. 
Sirius stretched his arms up before seeming to shake himself. Quite like his animagus form. 

 

“It seemed like you needed that bit of rest. You were out of it for a few hours!” His grin was somewhat teasing.

 

Harry glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing it was early afternoon. Though he was disappointed to lose time with his godfathers, he wouldn’t have given up what he had felt before he passed out. That had been incredible. 

 

Seeing the disappointed look on his godson’s face, Sirius was quick to reassure him. “Now that the order has been evicted from this house, you can spend as much time here as you like pup. The bed that you slept on is yours whenever you want.” Though Sirius was sitting on the other side of Remus, when he leaned against Remus, Remus leaned against Harry. 
A little amused at the hug by third party, Harry leaned back into Remus. 

 

“You mentioned kicking out the order, how did that happen? The letter before last said that they were spending all of their time here, for whatever reason. Not like Mrs. Weasley doesn’t have her own home to live in, or like Dumbledore doesn’t usually spend his time in the castle, until recently.” His curious question made Sirius laugh as Remus seemed to turn a bit red. 

 

Even more curious, he turned to face them. 

 

Sirius was the one to answer, voice very amused. “When we met with Snape recently, he pointed out that with my being the secret keeper of this house, I could have made them forget it existed at any point in time. When we heard that, Remus’ reaction was amusing. I will treasure it.” 
Remus snapped back at him, not unkindly, “You forgot too! I wasn’t the only one that overlooked the obvious!” His defensive posture was enveloped in a side hug quickly, Sirius turning his head to peck his cheek. 

 

“I know love, I’m sorry. You have to admit it was comedic though.” His attempt to soothe Remus’ pride was successful as Remus seemed to melt. 

 

“I suppose. You still owe me chocolate though. You agreed not to mention that.” The grumbled reply just made Sirius grin. “Yes love, of course.”

 

It was so sweet Harry could get cavities. Which he wasn’t even sure he could get any more, actually. 

 

Remus chuckled before sitting back up. “Do you want to talk out here pup, or do you want to go to the library? I know you mentioned wanting to look at the books that Sirius has available.” 

 

Just that quickly, Harry was distracted. Which honestly was probably purposeful. Ah well. 

 

“The library please! The one in the townhouse is my favorite place there.” He’d been looking forward to searching the Black Library ever since he heard it existed. According to Sirius it was one of the most extensive out of the pureblood families in the UK. 
Though he wasn’t a Ravenclaw by any means, he valued the power in knowledge. The more he understood, the more control he could have over his life. 

 

When they walked upstairs, Harry found the photos that decorated the hallway to be interesting. 
There was so much history on the walls, and he couldn’t wait to learn more. 

 

The door to the library had carvings on the frame, and he realized a lot of the other doors had this detail as well. It must have been hand-carved, and it was a floral pattern with ivy and flowers scattered throughout. 
He wondered which generation of Blacks chose this design, if it had been the ones who initially furnished the home, or if it was done sometime later. 

 

Walking through the threshold after Sirius and Remus, he paused. 

 

It was stunning! 

 

While the Potter Library was dim but comforting, the Black library was dark and heavy. It seemed to press down on him like physical weight, and he could feel the library’s energy like it was a living being. With a magic of its own wrapping around him, assessing him. 

 

He couldn’t help but let out a small gasp as it all seemed to leave him at once, the aura of the room lightening a little. 

 

The men in front of him seemed oblivious to what had just happened. They were both occupied with searching a shelf to his right, seemingly looking for something specific. 

 

The room was filled wall to wall with books, much like the Potter Library, though the architecture of this room was somehow much different. The ceiling was lower, making the room not quite as open, but the room was extensive. There were so many bookshelves he wasn't sure how far back they actually went. He hoped Sirius knew exactly how to locate books in here.

 

When he pulled himself together enough to walk over to them, Sirius turned to him, a distracted look on his face. “If you see a book titled ‘Blood on the Mind,’ please pull it out. That is one book that I want to give to you.” Turning a little sheepish, he continued. “I should have found it before you came over, but we were occupied. I’m sorry pup.” 

 

Harry shrugged his shoulders. There went the hope that all of these books were organized. “It’s okay! We’ll find it I’m sure. Budge over.” 

 

All three of them were searching for the small book when they heard the Floo activate. Despite knowing the Order could not come into the house, Harry was still worried. 

 

Sirius didn’t look concerned in the least, he just turned his head toward the door. “Severus! We’re in the library!” The bellowed sentence seemed to reverberate through the large room. Both Harry and Remus grimaced a bit at the loud noise. 

 

The footsteps on the stairway were quiet, and Harry was waiting in dread. Snape must be okay if they still let him remember the house, but that didn’t take the memory of the last few years away. 

 

When Snape entered the library, he looked a little nervous himself. 

 

At once his instincts were screaming at him. This was an unknown elder, and that made the man dangerous. 

 

Suddenly feeling on the defensive, though he knew logically that wasn’t necessary, his instincts were telling him that he could not be certain of that. Better be on the side of caution. 

 

For the first time, he found himself hissing and backing away. His fangs were bared, and anyone who saw him knew it was from fear rather than aggression. 

 

Sirius tried to step toward him, but Snape put up a hand toward him, warding him off, without breaking eye contact with Harry. 

 

A rumbling noise came from the older vampire’s chest, and Harry’s instincts stuttered when they heard it. It was a noise of comfort, but it could be a trick. He still didn’t know this vampire. 

 

The sound caused enough hesitation that Snape was able to get close to Harry without being snapped at or causing a flight response. 

 

A hand was put flat on Harry’s chest, and he could feel the vibrations from the rumbling. 
Slowly, his tightly wound muscles started to relax involuntarily. 

 

“There you go. It’s alright Potter. I know it’s unfamiliar, but you have control over your instincts. They do not have to overrule your logic.” His voice was still soothing, and the rumbling seemed to continue even through his speech. 

 

After a long moment of standing there looking down, breathing through the letdown of panic, he slowly came to himself. Shaking himself slightly, he felt the hand fall from his chest, followed by an odd sense of loss. 

 

“Sorry professor.” He had to force those words out, still on edge despite the forced calm. 

 

“It quite alright Potter, I understand. Dealing with new instincts is never easy, and meeting a new vampire without warning can be startling to say the least.” As he spoke gently to Harry, he glared at the two men standing beside him. “If you are mentally prepared, it is much easier to handle the strength of what your instincts are driving you to do. Granted, instincts are not always a bad thing. They can be quite helpful in a pinch.” The hand that had been on his chest moved to his shoulder, and squeezed it for a moment before moving a few steps away. 

 

Sirius spoke up, looking entirely guilty. “I’m sorry Harry, I should have said something before we came up to the library. I honestly forgot he was supposed to come over this afternoon after you started your impromptu nap.”

 

Snape looked toward Sirius sharply at that. “What happened?” Harry was bewildered that there was concern in his voice. 

 

Sirius put one hand behind his head, running it through his hair. “Well, he was hungry, so he fed off of Remus and myself. We did not quite anticipate the reaction that would cause. We should have, since he had not fed from someone he was close to in a familial fashion before.” 

 

Snape rolled his eyes at that. “Of course you would forget about that.” His eyes turned sympathetically toward Harry. “It’s a normal reaction. The first time you feel something like that, it can be very overwhelming. Preferably, it would have been one of them at a time, to let your emotions settle without inundating your system beyond capacity.” The scolding tone was aimed toward his godparents, who looked elsewhere, slightly embarrassed. 

 

Harry was thankful for the explanation, though he wanted the conversation to move away from what he considered an embarrassing moment of weakness, especially when exposed to his old professor. 

 

Sirius heaved a sigh. “We know we screwed up, we just wanted Harry to drink his fill, we didn’t want him hungry.” 

 

The other vampire softened a bit at that. “I appreciate that you want to care for him, but there are aspects that can be a bit more complicated. I also know there are not many good books concerning vampires as we actually are.” While he conceded a small part of his godfathers’ innocence, Harry was starting to feel a little annoyed. 

 

“I’m right here you know, and I can bloody well hear you.” His arms folded, he absolutely was not pouting. 

 

They all looked toward him, and he felt a little irritated with Remus’ smile. 

 

“Sorry cub, you are right. Let’s compile some resources for you, yes? And with Severus being here, he can direct us to some actually useful texts.”

 

With all of them going separate directions after Sirius had noted the sorting system, Snape copied his list of books with a spell and they set off to each collect a portion. Some of the books were out of place, like the book that Sirius had been looking for earlier, but overall most of them were where they were supposed to be. 

 

There were books about vampirism, clans, traditions, the Wizengamot, blood magic, and about ancient families and their current Lords, Ladies, and heirs. Some of the books were even self-updating, which was a fantastic bit of spellwork that Harry wouldn’t mind looking into. 

 

While the stack that they ended up with was quite large, Sirius brought out a satchel that he was able to put all of the books into. Harry really appreciated magic sometimes. 

 

When everything was packed away, they all moved toward the armchairs that were set in the library, much like the armchairs were set in the Potter library. Here however, they were not set in front of a window. Instead lamps were situated next to each of the chairs on end tables. Sirius and Remus sat on chairs that were next to each other, Harry and Snape sat on two chairs opposing them. 

 

“So, Harry, I know you must have questions for me?” Snape started straight to the point. 
Slightly started at the use of his first name, Harry hesitantly responded. 

 

“Actually Snape-” 
“Severus please, Harry. I would like to speak familiarly in this conversation.” 

 

Pausing slightly, feeling a little awkward, Harry continued. “Severus then. I actually was wondering about the reaction that I had when I saw you. You explained it a little, but why would my instincts think of you as dangerous? Even if we haven’t had the best relationship, I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” 

 

Sna- Severus looked pleased at that, and answered rather sedately. “Up until now you have likely been living in fight or flight mode. When this has been sustained for months, your instincts likely have a hard time telling friend from foe. I would bet they were even wary of Remus to begin with. Am I correct in that assumption?” 

 

Thinking about it, he grimaced slightly. In the beginning, he had been more reserved than usual when thinking about Remus. Seeing him with his godfather helped smooth that out, but if Sirius hadn’t been there as a buffer, he very likely would have been a lot more tense. 

 

Seeing the agreement on his face, Severus continued. “With time, as you get used to your surroundings and settle into a routine, it will be both easier and harder. Easier in that your instincts will finally be able to relax, and harder in that you may find yourself craving more physical affection in that stage, which you may find uncomfortable. This craving may express itself platonically, or you may find yourself looking for something less platonic. I do caution you with this, as finding an outlet yourself will be much safer than letting your instincts find an outlet for you.”

 

He seemed to notice something in Harry’s expression. “Or, you may have already experienced that portion to a degree. Whatever you have experienced so far will be nothing compared to what you will experience in time.” He was thankful that all of this information was conveyed in such a matter-of-fact tone, it made it a bit easier to take with a straight face. 

 

“In the books you will find the truth as to a vampire’s weaknesses and abilities, compared to the trash that is in books found in Diagon Alley. That is biased nonsense, and I hope you will not take anything you read from those stores to heart.” This was said sternly, and Harry nodded in understanding. Perhaps one of these books would explain his ability to see magic. 

 

“Do you have any other questions for me while I’m here? I know you must still be rather tired.” 

 

Thinking it over, Harry shook his head. “I’ll take time to read the books you suggested first sir. If I have questions on anything they didn’t talk about, what is the best way to contact you?” 

 

Severus hummed, and thought for a moment. “Owl post is out of the question of course, but I noticed your godfather used his house elf quite frequently. If you have an elf yourself, that would be the most convenient way to send messages.” 

 

Harry smiled at that, a little amused. “That sounds perfect professor. I will send Millie with a note later.” 

 

Sever perked up when he heard that name. “I remember Millie, I will look forward to seeing her again.” 

 

Harry had many questions after that reaction, but it felt like they would be better reserved for a future conversation. 

 

“Thank you sir for coming over, I appreciate the recommendations and the information.” A soft smile was directed at him for that, and a warmth spread through him that felt familiar, much like when he was spending time relaxing with Sirius and Remus. 
Opting not to think about that right now, he followed the other men and they walked out of the library and downstairs. 

 

After Severus had scheduled a time later to come over, Harry wasn’t quite focused and didn’t catch the reason or the time, he left via the Floo.

 

Remus turned to Harry and pulled him into a hug. I’m so glad you were able to be here cub. Do you want to stay or go home?” Considering the muffled question, Harry let go of Remus. “I think I’m ready to go home for a bit. I want to sleep in a more familiar setting tonight.” He was slightly concerned they would take offense, but they didn’t look offended in the slightest. 

 

“Sounds good pup. I hope you have a good rest. Please send us a note if you need anything. And feel free to come over here anytime. You don’t have to worry about being here now.” 

 

Sirius also gave him a tight hug before releasing him. 

 

“Have fun studying pup, don’t work too hard.” This was said with a teasing grin, and Harry grinned back. He made no promises. 

 

“Goodnight Sirius, Remus.” 
After having his hair ruffled, and getting one more hug each, he headed into the Floo.

 

As we landed back in his home, he already looked forward to when he was able to feed from them again. Though, he wasn’t looking forward to the other kind of emotional needs Severus said he would eventually require. He wanted that someday, but he didn’t know if he wanted it as quickly as Snape seemed to imply.
He would put off thinking about that for a while. 

Notes:

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this update!
I think my next chapter will be in Immortal Flight, perhaps a one-shot concerning what Remus and Sirius were up to the night before Harry got there? Would y’all like to read that? (: