Work Text:
Atsushi doesn't know how did he got kidnapped. But staying inside a cell with collars and restraints all over him is giving him familiar vibes. He is looking down at the ground, whoever made these made sure it would hurt Atsushi enough to not even turn to the tiger. He mumbles apologies to Byakko for making her work too much. Collars are tight enough to not let him even move, but also designed with small spikes that are in his skin. On his wrists, neck, ankles. And also around waist too, he felt the spikes almost rip the flesh on his waist. Hurting all over his skin, torturing him.
He didn't know who actually kidnapped him. He thought this 7 billion was over already, who else wants him now? He feels... Tired. He can feel the tears down his cheek but he does not let a word out. Because if he does, Headmaster, who is looking at him from the corner will frown even more. Because he was weak, because he wasn't good enough for anything. He must be dissapointed just because he is crying. The feeling is hunting him and is too familiar. How long has he been here? 3? 4 days? Maybe more? He is somewhere closer to being a basement. Just like in the orphanage.
He wants to die.
In that moment all he thinks about is ending this misery, wanting to demand towards the Byakko to stop healing him. Swallowing his saliva hurts his neck. His hand twitches at the sight of the Headmaster and the spikes dig once more to his wrists. He moves his eyes around the place and his entire body hurts. Breathing hurts. Moving hurts. Speaking hurts. Crying hurts. Especially living hurts right now.
He understands why nobody came for him until now. Of course, he is just a burden to the Agency. He has been told that a lot of times already. By multiple people. He wishes for Kyouka to live a good life now that he won't be a burden inside their shared dorm. Well. Not anymore at least. He wishes Kunikida patient but also quiet and calm days in the agency. Dazai must be annoying him now. The thought made him laugh a little which ended up with groaning in pain. He forgot... How foolish of him. He is so stupid. So useless.
He wishes Dazai a new and a strong apprentice. Someone with a better ability than him and someone who'd probably be strong enough to not be taken hostage like this. He is so useless, he does not deserve even the slightest of Dazai's mentoring. He wishes Ranpo to have someone get his snacks every week instead of him. Maybe Yosano would do it, they are pretty close of course. Like siblings. He wants to sigh but he remembers the sharp pain and refuses his want.
He wishes Yosano to have the medical supplies she needed a few days ago. Or was it weeks? If he could only know how much time have passed. He was gonna get them for her on whatever that day was. But he was so foolish to get kidnapped. Maybe he could've at least give them to her to actually be useful. He wishes the President to get a pet cat. Sometimes, even though he denies every time when he is referred as a cat, he liked the times when President acted with him as if he was a cat. Petting him gently, realizing his hair (somehow) was as soft as a kitten. It brings a smile but moving his cheek muscles still hurt with the collar on his neck. It's too tight to even let him breath properly.
He wishes Kenji would see his family once again without any problem. He cannot find the words for him actually. He wishes Junichiro a good time in his school with Naomi. Even though he is a part-time co-worker of his, he still counts him a part of the agency very much. Well... He hopes that Junichiro thought the same too. He wished he could've apologized much more on the of his first job. For making him and his sister hurt from Akutagawa and Higuchi. Akutagawa... He wishes for him to get Dazai's approval or something like that. He still does not know what he exactly wants from Dazai but whatever that is. He hopes he'd get it eventually.
For, whoever Dazai's new apprentice is going to be. He wishes that they'd be more helpful to the Agency. And he wishes they would get along with Akutagawa more than him.He wishes that the new member of the Agency could make Kunikida proud of him, make Ranpo a close friend enough to even share his snacks which he never does to anyone, make Dazai happy with him and maybe stop him from trying too many suicide attempts, be good enough to actually deliver Yosano's supplies, maybe be classmates with Junichiro and go on classes together, take care of Kenji's animals together and help with his farm, make President proud of them. And Kyouka... Kyouka... Make Kyouka feel at home, be someone she can call 'family'. Be friends with Akutagawa, which might be impossible but he feels that Dazai's new apprentice could do anything he could've never done.
He wishes Byakko to have an actual holder that could use his ability without a problem. Be strong and brave. Be useful with his ability. Don't get himself into trouble. Don't be kidnapped. Don't be tortured. Don't let Byakko use her powers for him because he is too fucking useless.
His eyes drift towards Headmaster, as always he is looking at him with disgust. He wants to speak and say that he hopes Headmaster could've had time to actually find a behaving child. Someone who was smart and disciplined. Someone who didn't have a gift or had a useful gift. Unlike Atsushi's that only does damage to others. Someone who wasn't him. Someone who wasn't Atsushi.
...
He can't sleep, even though it's visible by his state how tired he is. If he does fall asleep, all that's gonna happen is he is going to open his eyes to feel pain. Should he be happy that nobody came to visit him so far? He is just trapped here without anybody. No contact. Maybe that's because he'd beg the first person to come to kill him. End the misery.
God he wants Akutagawa to just kill him without the six months ending. Somehow find him here. Maybe that Kaji guy could come and bomb this place with him inside of it. Maybe the executive Nakahara Chuuya could crush him under the gravity, perhaps destroy the (is that a ceiling or something else?) place on top of him and let him get smashed alongside the concrete.
...Hah... He feels much more suicidal than Dazai. Bet he would feel so proud for his apprentice to be so much like him. Kunikida would smack his head and tell him not to become a Dazai 2.0 because he'd have to deal with two times more trouble instead. He wants to say sorry. And the moment he tries to open his mouth a scream leaves his throat. Not caring how much it hurts him. Struggling against the collars all over him. Breathing hurts his throat. Moving hurts his wrists, ankles and his waist. But aggressively screaming, shouting and shaking against the restrains hurts him much more. He can't tell how much he loves this feeling in the moment.
Yet the tears on his eyes betray him instantly.
He hits his head on the wall behind him. His weight betraying him too and letting himself sink to the restrains all over him. He whimpers, crying and sobs leaving him everytime he breaths heavily. He is even too weak to handle a single head bump.
"I'm sorry..."
"I'm so sorry..."
"Please.."
"Forgive me..."
"Look at me..."
"I beg you..."
"I can be better..."
"Please..."
"I'm sorry..."
The Headmaster was not looking at him anymore. Instead he had turned away from the tiger. His back is blurry in the eyes of Atsushi. He is dissapointed. Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be. He always will be dissapointed whatever Atsushi does.
He does not stop speaking. Every word leaving another sob from his throat. Every sob leaving another scar to his neck. And every scar getting healed by Byakko. He wants to give up on life. Why does he have to just heal everytime. He wants to ask Byakko why. But he knows the answer will be a growl.
You hate me.
But you don't let me die. Let me be free from this hell.
I hate myself too.
So then, let me end this misery for both of us. Let us be free from each other and leave the cages made for each other.
He feels much more weak with his body shaking and leaving much more scars around his body. And for after a long. But long fucking time, he passes out.***
It's been a week. Really and they know where Atsushi is. But this is going too slow. It's a bit weird to put Atsushi inside a mansion basement. But they could never disagree with Ranpo's deduction. Kunikida never really saw Kenji this sad before. The boy, even on the worse situations would always have a smile on his face as if it was nothing. But without Atsushi, the entire Agency felt empty. Dazai would act less annoying and would usually ignore a lot of things said. Ranpo didn't eat much sweets the entire week, a bit less that usual that the sweets that would end in a week stayed even after one.
Kunikida can't even start about Kyouka. The poor girl was already uncomfortable a lot of times but now she ignored every possible conversation. He doesn't question it, he saw it for himself on how that brat saved this broken child from a mafioso. Bringing the home she never got after her parents died.
Junichiro smiled gently when he said he could take the missions that were meant for Atsushi normally. But his smile wasn't genuine. Even Kenji could've see that. Yosano didn't ask for someone to go shop medical supplies for her. Guilty feeling she felt. The President never really showed but he could see that he missed the tiger too.
Kunikida has to admit as well, the empty spot next to Dazai's seat was too hard to ignore. How could he ignore actually? He missed him too. No matter how chaotic of a duo he makes with Dazai, (even though the chaotic part is only for Dazai) you can't leave a person you got used to.
When Ranpo said for them to do nothing and wait an entire week, they all froze. He never explain what he meant by it, no one questioned as well. All he say was that they couldn't go in action for a week. He said that they shouldn't be the ones to act first. He said it like he was planning on abandoning him. But never said anything about that at all.
The presence of a person really changed the atmosphere almost instantly.
***
The next week, in the meeting. President sighed as he looked at Ranpo. "You knew how this would turn out to be like?" He asked, knowing the answer will be yes. Ranpo just put a lollipop in his mouth. The other members looked at each other, Dazai could see just the slightest brightness on Kyouka's face. It almost made him smile. Almost. The president gained back the attention quickly with a single cough.
He started talking with the same tone as normal. "The owner of the mansion is known for quite a lot of crimes. A lot. And even though it's hard for normal police to catch him, his intelligence wasn't enough to keep him away from messing with the Port Mafia. Mori-sensei said we'd have this mission together." Dazai put his elbow on the table and let his chin rest on his palm. Giving a smile. "So that they'll get their own revenge on the man," he started, his eyes closing as another continued the sentence. Junichiro spoke, frowning and looking at the table. "And we'll get to arrest him. But most importantly..."
"We'll get who was ours before." Yosano cut his sentence, the smile on her face showed her true intentions very clearly. Kyouka looked at the President one more time, wanting confirmation for the last time. Which Fukuzawa only nodded at. Kyouka's eyes shined instantly, filled with hope. A warm smile on her face got the attention of Ranpo. He frowned a bit. "Sorry but you won't be inside this mission. Kenji and Dazai will go together." He put his lolipop inside his mouth once again. Leaning back on his chair. Kyouka's expression fell for a moment but a sad smile was made. She must feel happy with the thought of rescuing him even if it's not her.
Kunikida took a note of the situation and turned back to the President. "Who from the Port Mafia will be with us? The Black Lizard perhaps?" Fukuzawa was silent for a moment, which meant the answer was unknown. And silently turned back to Ranpo. Who replied with a groan as all eyes were on him. He took the lolipop out of his mount and spoke once again. "The Bad Haircut guy will be there along with other non-ability users." He put it back inside.Dazai smiled slightly, so that's why Ranpo told him to go too. Even though the Mafia has a capable man of handling the situation, Akutagawa would most likely kill everyone there. He needs someone to lead him so that he wouldn't cause trouble. But he thought Ranpo knew about the six month promise. Maybe he does. Maybe that's why Kenji is with him. Handling everyone with a single hand so that Dazai will be able to find Atsushi easily. He already knew the map of the mansion and where leads to where. Kenji should be kept away from where Atsushi was. He'd probably go mad because of it. And the last time his friend got hurt or rather died... A mountain was held by him.
The meeting ended easily with mostly explaining the mission to Kenji. And everything was planned like how Dazai thought. He understood it quickly with smiles. The others only held a slight smile. Kenji really makes other happy even the slightest. If this mission was here with Atsushi, probably Kenji wouldn't be with Dazai instead. Putting the Shin Soukoku together was always a good plan no matter what. They are a good team. Would Akutagawa somehow find him? Perhaps Dazai will let that consider.
Putting Akutagawa to rescue him would be a good choice. Or not. Still, it's something.
His attention came to Ranpo, who was staring at him in the empty meeting room. Then he took the lolipop out, a grin appearing on his expression. Dazai's eyes widened with a smile, of course. What can the World's Greatest Detective not understand? At least he got permission from him. Ranpo left the meeting room afterwards.
But there were other footsteps along his, coming to here. Sounded like Kunikida. He smiled and put his arms on the table. Basically pretending to be asleep and murmuring suicidal stuff. Normal things to make Kunikida angry. Though, when he entered. He didn't say anything. Only dragging Dazai by his coat's collar to a couch. Putting him on there.
When he left the area in silence, Dazai opened one eye. A smile forming on his lips as he closed it again. "Wow Atsushi-kun. You can change everyone so easily now..." He murmured before starting to welcome sleep. Atsushi held a big part of the Agency as much as others. A puzzle piece that would leave the canvas in imperfection. Not to mention, Dazai missed him too. Maybe he was a good mentor now, that must be why. "Are you proud of me, Odasaku...?" He said one last time.
"Dazai-san!" Akutagawa had wide eyes as he saw the man in front of him. On a mission. Together! Only the two of them!? Maybe that's the opportunity to prove his streng-
"Ohh! Hello! My name is Miyazawa Kenji!" A blonde boy stuck his head behind the tall man. Walking next to him as Dazai's smile widened. "Yes, this is Kenji, Akutagawa. He'll be your partner in this mission, I have another business in this mission I have to take care of." Dazai spoke, a smile on his lips with his eyes closed while Akutagawa looked dissapointed in himself.
The child was nowhere close to even 18. Maybe 13 if he wants to think about it. Does Dazai see him too weak to even be partnered with a child? He'd even consider Jinko a better partner. This felt humiliating. He wanted to prove his worth fully to Dazai. He instantly turned towards Dazai. "Dazai-san, whatever business you have. I can do it! I promise I wouldn't let you down!" He spoke, almost shouted infact. Kenji looked confused just slightly. "But we were supposed to-" "Sure why not?" Dazai cut Kenji's sentence but the younger didn't seem bothered by it. Rather happy, but not aware of the fact Akutagawa didn't know what he would do. Still felt grateful.
Akutagawa's eyes shined as he was given a mission. Which was supposed to be Dazai's. Meant if he is capable of completing it, he might prove his worth. He felt Dazai's hand touch his shoulder and he almost shivered at it. Dazai smiled happily at him before he started explaining. "After we clear out the place, without killing anyone. There is a basement in the mansion, a hostage is kept there. You'll be saving the hostage. Alright?" Akutagawa nodded instantly.
The blonde boy smiled widely, "Thank you, Akutagawa-san!" Friend or foe, Kenji still was happy about his help.
Though Akutagawa really ignored him and only focused on Dazai.
It took about a few seconds to enter the mansion. And to be honest, Akutagawa was surprised by the strength of this child. Handling every single person so easily. Even though he tried to knock out more people with his Rashomon, Kenji was still ahead of him in that matter. It was weird how Dazai was not doing much damage to things, rather looking around of the mansion. But by his expression, Akutagawa realized that he was trying to figure out something. A frown on his face as he watched the bookshelf.
By the time they were finished with the men, Kenji wasn't even tired. Asking Akutagawa if he was alright because of his coughs. Akutagawa didn't answer. Feeling humiliated that he wasn't able to knock out more men. His attention went to his ex-mentor. Still looking at the bookshelf, his eyes lit up for a moment and Dazai's hand landed on a book. Pulling it just the slightest, enough to hear a tiny click. He smiled at the sound and the huge bookshelf was opening a secret gate.
Dazai turned towards Akutagawa and kept the smile. Akutagawa, trying his hardest not to cough at that moment. Felt like he is being led into a spotlight. He wanted to smile but he didn't want to make it seem like he was desperate. So, he walked towards the secret passage. Entering inside. The gate did not close when Dazai was no longer in his view. That meant he trusted him on that matter. He felt too grateful he felt he might cry.
The basement felt empty at first. The stairs were too much it seemed the person who was in here must be a special person. Maybe a torture place? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Who would someone even keep here? Whoever it was that the Agency should rescue, he will do it in the sake of Dazai.
Kenji looked at Dazai with wide eyes, confused. "Why didn't you go instead, Dazai-san? I thought you wanted to see Atsushi-kun too." He questioned as the older man put the handcuffs on the passed out man. His ability didn't nullify anything on the man, which made him frown slightly. He gave the unconscious man to Kenji's arms and smiled. "I know that. But I want Akutagawa to find him first. After all, I will go to see Atsushi-kun too." He turned away from Kenji who smiled back at him. Putting the man on his arms on top of a pile of the people he fought. Waiting for police to come as Dazai was walking inside the secret passage.
He thought about it as he walked down the stairs of this place. It was too long but enough to let his thoughts be spread around. His nullification didn't work on the criminal who kidnapped Atsushi. Meaning he had another man who is an ability user to keep him in this place. If he didn't, Atsushi would've broken out of that place already. A normal cage, for infact. His tiger would break it into dust. But an ability cage would make things harder. What's the difference? The ability user's doing is basically mind corruption. Basically poisoning the mind of another. That's what you'd want to do with an ability user. Turn them into a mindless puppet. Similar to Q's ability. Even though, when he touches the cage it will nullify the ability. It won't fix Atsushi's mind fully. It will take awhile to see him being normal.
Of course with his hallucinations, it might worsen the situation. His ability is of course, very strong. Making him a pawn in your collection is a good deal. They will have to catch the ability user after this. Right now, he has to find the two of them. He hopes Akutagawa won't do anything to worsen the situation. Ranpo seemed to be certain that Akutagawa should be the one to save him instead. How will he comfort Atsushi though? Will it bring any feeling of guilt or sadness to him? He doubts he would.
After all, after Akutagawa met Atsushi. All he wanted to do was to prove himself strong. He noticed the way he treated Kenji too. Even though he never saw Dazai acting like blonde boy's mentor, he was jealous of Kenji nevertheless.
The thought of Dazai replacing him was so deep in his mind.
Akutagawa never expected the hostage to be the weretiger. Of course. He was too weak to be kidnapped anyways. He walked in front of the cage. Rashomon ready to strike at the cage bars. He watches as Atsushi's head slowly rises, blood stains on his neck immediately replacing with new ones. It made him sick to look at. "What else did I expect from you, Jinko? Of course you'd get kidnapped by someone like this man." He spat the words at the younger, who he thought would at least frown at him. Instead the boy smiled widely. Even his smiles made him bleed from that collar. He laughed, every time getting much more hurt and much more blood on him.
Then, his eyes found Akutagawa again. Seeing the Rashomon ready to attack. "I can't believe I start seeing you now!" He moved his hands against the tight steel. Trying to wave at him, making his wrists bleed. Also resulting in making Akutagawa frown a bit more. "Stop moving you fool. You're making yourself bleed." He spoke, with hatred filling his lungs. Before he tried to move Rashomon to break the cage, he heard the younger speak. "Ah, yes. Y'know, I believe I would've asked the real Akutagawa to kill me on the spot."
"Huh?" Akutagawa only replied with. The real Akutagawa? What, did he thought he was a hallucination or something? Atsushi looked at him one more time and smiled. Before shaking his entire body against the restrains, every place around his body starting to bleed. His mouth remained the smile but he was holding onto his lip to not scream at all. One move forward breaks his flesh on the front view and one move backwards breaks his flesh on his back. He didn't notice the way Akutagawa looked so traumatized by the amount of blood he left. God. A normal person would've died already with just a few struggle. "Hey! HEY! STOP STRUGGLING, JINKO!" He yelled at the younger.
Rashomon came forward to pierce through the cage but it did no effect. This wasn't any normal stell. An ability. It didn't let him past through. He needed Dazai to rescue him.
But.
But what?
The younger eventually stopped with tears falling from his eyes. His eyes looked too empty. He laughed to himself. His eyes looking right into the older's eyes.
"Kill me. End me. I can't take it anymore. Don't let Byakko heal me. I beg you. I don't want to. Let me die. I'm sorry. Let me be free. Please. I can't handle life. I want to die. I need to die. I don't want to live anymore. I'm so sorry. I'm too weak. I'm too useless. I don't deserve to live. Only thing I deserve is death. I don't even deserve to cry. I want die so bad."
Fuck. Fuck. What the hell, he is basically begging to die at this point. The tiger's regeneration is what keeps him alive? Akutagawa's own breath hitched as Atsushi kept on repeating every word. The collar around his neck hurting him even more. They must have spikes all over them to make this much mess.
He took a step forward at the cage for a moment just to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He froze, his eyes coming to look at the person. Seeing Dazai next to him. Walking towards the cage and putting a single hand on the bars. The ability nullified easily with a touch. The cage disappeared. Only to leave a boy in the middle of the space. Unmoving but repeating the sentences multiple times. It made Akutagawa sick to watch.
Dazai went next to Atsushi, started to drag him towards Akutagawa. The younger boy understood the command and wrapped Rashomon around Atsushi. Carrying him back to the surface space. After awhile of using the stairs, weretiger passed out on the spot. He didn't know if he should be grateful for that or not. Dazai didn't said a word to him after all.
The moment they were outside of the secret passage, Kenji had already gave the people to police it seems and had started to wait for the others. When they came, Dazai insisted Kenji should go back before them. Which Kenji didn't react more than a smile. Happy to hear Atsushi being 'fine'. Akutagawa didn't said a word as Kenji left the now empty mansion.
Dazai turned back towards Akutagawa, making the younger freeze in return. He moved Rashomon towards Dazai carefully. Giving the boy into his arms. He replied with a smile. Taking one hand and petting Akutagawa's head gently. The younger froze once again with wide eyes. He waited for a slap or at least something rough to be given as he didn't succeed. As Dazai took his hand away from his hair, his eyes shot up towards him instantly.
Dazai still kept a smile on his face. "I already acknowledged you long ago, Akutagawa. You became stronger. I hope you can understand it." He didn't say anything else. Getting Atsushi to his arms and leaving the area before Akutagawa can understand a thing.
Atsushi must feel tired. That cage seemed to not even let him rest the slightest bit after all. Yosano did say there were no bad injuries on him. But for the torture he went through, he might need some time to be normal once again. Putting him with an ordinary therapist would be risky. From the way Dazai explained the situation, it wouldn't be hard to figure that he'd try to use his ability to hurt himself.
The situation was too concerning.
Atsushi started to act too numb. Everytime Dazai made a suicidal joke he'd smile silently but never comment on it. His times usually were spent staying on the couch, laying down and feeling the warmness he craved for once. Headmaster was still there, still dissapointed in him. He tried to ignore him, but as always it's too hard. Things went easily rather than the first week. Because in the first week since he came back, he was kept away from sharp things no matter what. Wasn't sent to missions and were forced to stay with Dazai unless he tried something (which he did, multiple times).
The second week, he started to realize that the Agency keeps him like a family. Usually Yosano drags him to go shopping together. She talks to him whenever they are around. Surprisingly, she understands him. Which he feels a bit grateful about. The third week was spent greatly. Still, he was numb to emotions but warmed up a bit. It was nice.
One time, Akutagawa visited him. He didn't know what to expect, it felt uncomfortable when you have your rival inside your house. Since Kyouka wasn't in their dorm, Atsushi let him inside. It was a bit awkward at first, the silence got a bit concerning. Then Akutagawa figured out how to talk, finally. "I... I apologize, for the way I acted that day. And for other days as well." It was surprising to hear it. He was sorry for calling Atsushi the same words Atsushi called him that day? He already forgot about it but it felt nice to be apologized for it.
Especially because it's from Akutagawa. "I also apologize for asking you to kill me. I wasn't on the right mind that I thought you were just a hallucination of mine." He said back, his eyes drifting away. "The ability manipulates mind into being soulless. While having hurt, it felt too right to die rather than suffering the pain." He admitted to the older. Smiling slightly. Remembering when he begged Akutagawa to kill him. He must be traumatized after seeing Atsushi struggle against the spiked collars to die. Like he thought, if it wasn't for his tiger ability, he'd be dead on the spot.
Akutagawa seemed to be surprised, almost fascinated by his endurance. The way he recovered so easily from torture, mentally. It surprised Akutagawa. Maybe it was easier with the tiger or maybe he was used to it. The question may be something he doesn't need to know about. But talking to Atsushi in peace is something he might find himself enjoying.