That's What a Broken Heart Can Do

by The28thStabWound

Summary:

Jules has finally helped Tanasha get everything she wanted. Her kingdom and throne are once again under the rule of the true Empress.

So of course, it's quite a shock to everyone when Tanasha's first order is to immediately have Jules imprisoned ...

Notes:

I wanted to use this for a writing contest, but its long af.

That’s why the angels ignore her.

That’s what a broken heart can do.

There’s no wire or strings,

She lost everything.

          - Takako Mamiya

 

The Betrayal

It should have lasted forever; the months of one off jokes leading into intricate planning, the weeks spent making preparations for a trail of blood sweat and tears that got us here now. Tanasha was finally seated in her throne once again, crown reclaimed and self-declared as the Empress she had once been. A warmth filled my chest at the satisfied smile that passed over her face as she shut her eyes and raised her head above her court. I could see their faces, the anxious servants and fearful advisors. They had all betrayed Tanasha in one way or another, but I knew – even if no one else did – she couldn’t care less about them right now.

 

When she opened her eyes again, her gaze and her thoughts were on me, and me alone. I’d finally helped her reclaim what was rightfully hers, just as I promised. There was gratitude in her eyes, and joy and love. 

 

The moment should have lasted forever.

 

Then the edges of her smile lowered and her bright eyes dimmed. Her face resettled into the cold, unforgiving expression I had seen her wear against her enemies and prey. It was directed at me. “Seize her.” Those two words came from the Empress’s lips as cold as ice and shot directly into my soul. I paused with confusion for a moment before letting out a deep, mirthful laugh. 

 

Ah, a cruel joke. Tanasha was always toying with the people around her, although I thought I had been excluded from those games. Two guards immediately sprang into action, moving from their post at the doors and grabbing my arms. I glared at each of them before looking back up to the throne. “Nasha,” I scoffed, giving her a devious smirk, “enough with this game.” I attempted to wave the guards off, but they held fast, looking back up to their queen for the next order. Tanasha’s eyes narrowed and the emotionless expression became a glare. “The proper way to address an Empress is your highness ,” she warned evenly.

 

I let out another laugh, this one much weaker and much more forced. I didn’t care much for this joke anymore. “Nasha, put an end to this already, I’m growing bored of being man-handled,” I teased, trying to wrestle an arm away from the guard on my left. “You’re orders, your majesty?” one of the guards asked.

 

“Tanasha!” I tried to shout for her over the guard and was promptly met with an elbow to the mouth. Reeling with shock I looked back up at the guard. They paid me no mind, still awaiting Tanasha’s command. I looked back up to the throne, wide-eyed. Certainly the Empress wouldn’t let that fool get away with something like that; daring to harm me of all people? Tanasha made no visible reaction, only continued staring down at me for a moment before raising her hand and waving it in the general direction of the door. “Lock her away. I’ll try her properly later.”

 

The shock filling my very being was almost completely gone now, replaced by a rage beginning to boil in my veins. “Try me? Try me for what?!” I shouted, all the while trying to pull free from the guards now dragging me to the door. Tanasha’s eyes narrowed again. “For your raid on the palace and for attacking noble personage, of course,” she responded in a tone that said I should have known exactly what had landed me here.

 

This didn’t make any sense. Why, why after all of this?

 

“Tanasha!” I shouted again. It wasn’t endearing or pleading in tone as the last few times had been when I called the Empress’ name. This was a scream, an infuriated screech of disbelief. There was no answer. Tanasha only turned her back to me as I was dragged through the doors. “Tanasha!”

 

All that greeted me was silence, a silence that lasted forever.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Tanasha!”

 

I lifted my head slightly, narrowing my eyes to slits before turning back towards my throne. It was too late; I’d already seen the look on Jules’ face, the pain, the disbelief. I had gotten so used to the actress showing me exactly what she’d wanted me to see: a dauntless, cocky, and ruthless woman not to be trifled with; to see her true emotions, the childlike anguish and despair laid bare like that …

 

I shut my eyes and took in a long breath. I would not break, not even for her.

 

I did my best to convince myself that I was doing what was right as Jules continued to scream my name as she was dragged down the hall. I finally composed myself enough to turn around again. The door shut, cutting me off from Jules for good as I took my seat back on my throne … my throne. It felt good to say that, even just to think the words. Now, there were still other matters to deal with.

 

I glanced at the personage filling my court with an icy but smug glare. I was back in power; let all those who dared to oppose me tremble. “Let’s start with cleaning some of you out, shall we?”

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

“How the mighty have fallen.”

 

My head shot up at the voice that had greeted me after the hour of silence I had dwelled in in this dark cell. “Who’s there?” I called back, squinting in an attempt to make out the shape of whatever had spoken to me.

 

A grim cackle laced with hatred was the response I got. “You don’t even recognize the person you overthrew just a few days ago?” I stood from the hard wooden cot, walking over to the wall of bars that lined one side of my cell. In the cell adjacent, a figure was curled up in the corner, gathered in the paper thin sheets that had been provided for the prisoners. The other prisoner raised her head, revealing a face that I had only seen once before.

 

“You made a mistake helping her,” Demeter chuckled before glaring directly into my eyes. “But, of course, you know that now, don’t you?” She was much thinner than when we first met, and the rasp of her voice told me that the woman hadn’t been given water for as long as she’d been here. Tanasha had likely forgotten all about her, or perhaps had been purposefully starving her of food and water. Either seemed in character for the Empress at this point. Quite frankly, if the last few hours had told me anything, it was that the woman was unpredictable.

 

I lowered myself to the ground beside the bars, resting my back against the bricked wall. “I don’t understand,” I murmured, staring up at the concrete ceiling. “How could she … I thought–”

 

“You trusted her,” Demeter hissed. “That was your one and only mistake, trusting that snake.”

 

I cast a glance over to her, looking the thinned woman up and down. She’d seemed so powerful, so regal when I first sneaked into her chamber. Demeter the Great Empress; that was the image she had made for herself and yet looking at her now I could see the truth. Demeter was weak. Everything she’d had was given to her by Tanasha and forcefully ripped away with betrayal. This kingdom was built upon the bodies of victims with knives in their backs; it was practically foretold Tanasha would turn on me like this … and yet.

 

I wasn’t truly angry with her. Yes, I was certainly furious that she’d imprisoned me, but even past that I was hurt. This wasn’t the kind of pain that made me want to take a blade to someone’s neck, it was the kind of pain that made me feel utterly helpless, made me want to curl into a ball and wither away to nothing. “How could she do this?” I mumbled to myself, hardly a whisper as I buried my face into my knees. I could feel a stinging in my eyes becoming more prominent.

 

I had a rule against crying. It reddened eyes and made faces puffy. That sort of thing wasn’t good for show business, unless it was required in the script. I never cried, never. But this time … this time I didn’t fight the tears. There wasn’t any show now; the curtain had been called early and the performers had been sent home. My audience of one, my brilliant diamond, had set my stage on fire and burned me down with it.

 

“How did she convince you to do all of this?”

 

I looked up, my eyes again falling on the would-be ruler. I saw no snark or criticism, only pure curiosity hidden beneath exhaustion. I didn’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all Demeter, but one more look around the cell I had been placed in brought me back to the realization of how low I really was. No one cared about Jules the Showstopper … not anymore. If I could give one last performance, tell one more story in my own dramatic fashion to someone who was actually interested in hearing it, well I’d die before I missed that opportunity. Some said it was my vanity; Tanasha had always called it my theatrical nature.

 

I picked myself up slowly, sitting on the wooden cot once again as I thought of how best to begin the story. “When Tanasha and I first met,” I started, “she took everything from me.”

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

The Past

The spotlight was all mine. I didn’t care what the others had to say or what grudges they held. So long as they stayed out of my way, we would have no problems. I knew it, and they knew it. They played their games and I played my own. For most of them this little game was nothing more than that; bloodsport all in good fun provided by an unseen entity in the form of a dense Mist. For me, it was a performance – the greatest performance of my life. 

 

I played my role to perfection; every trap thwarted, every loop cut off, every chase ending in bloodshed. Gone were the days of playing posh nobility or roundabout heroes or damsels in distress. Villainy turned out to be much more my flavor, and every strike was met with the applause of blood-curdling screams.

 

It didn’t matter how many players were involved in this mysterious theater, this was my show. The spotlight was everything to me.

 

And then she showed up.

 

She was already set apart the moment she arrived in the Mist’s playground. While most of the freaks I had been cast alongside were grotesque beings or masked psychopaths or otherwise just plain-old maniacs, she was none of those things. She didn’t walk through the wall of mist with an infuriated or dazed look as so many had. She held her head high and stepped into the killers’ domain with a stone-cold glare that solidified her status as one of us. Beyond her attitude, she was adorned head-to-toe in regal attire. 

 

A blood red dress with black frills and what looked to be rubies set into the piece trailed behind her. Gold – real gold, not the pitiful flaking stuff the theater used to use for my costumes – was embroidered in simplistic design all over her body and to top it all off, an elegant and complex crown was placed gingerly atop the black rivers of her hair with a gem that matched the red crystals lining her dress.

 

I had played the role enough to know exactly what this woman was. A queen.

 

Her eyes trailed across the lineup of killers, sizing them all up until she eventually landed on me. Something unsettled me about the way her gaze changed when she looked at me. The bored, uninterested stare she’d given everyone else narrowed to a glare as she met my eye. That glare told me everything I needed to know. This woman was a threat. She’d have to be brought in on the rules about my stage.

 

For a while, nothing changed. The show went on and the Empress, as she was called, put on an excellent performance. She played the game ruthlessly, not toying with her prey as I sometimes liked to. She was cutthroat and brutally surgical about the way she handled the survivors. Time went on and her infamy only began to grow. When the survivors whispered amongst themselves in the small intervals of rest the Mist gave, it was her they spoke about. It used to be my name they whispered, my face they despised, my laugh that sent shivers down their spine. Now it was her, all her .

 

She had taken the spotlight from me, the one thing I demanded. I wouldn’t let it go on.

 

As the chases of the day came to a close and the Mist split the groups off into killer and survivor, I hung back a bit. “Tanasha?” I called in a sing-song way, giving an innocent smile when the Empress turned to look back at me. She walked back to me, crossing her arms and raising her head slightly as she liked to do, quite literally attempting to look down on me despite our clear height difference. “Yes?”

 

Looking over her shoulder to make sure everyone else had already gone, I turned on her suddenly, shoving her back into a wall. “My patience with you has run thin,” I hissed at the queen coldly. My height was never really anything I thought about until I needed to intimidate someone. I liked towering over them, making them squirm as I glared down at them from a shadowed sneer. I’d done it so many times before, and yet it wasn’t working now. The Empress was smirking . I’d never seen her crack the cold mask that was always on her face, and now she was amused by my threats?

 

“Well, you’re not a pushover afterall … I was beginning to get worried it was all just an act,” she teased, crossing her arms.

 

I sputtered a moment, sharpening my glare. “Do you think this is a joke? Do you know who I am?”

 

“Of course,” she laughed with a nod, raising one of her hands to my cheek. “A face like this can’t go unnoticed for long.” The smirk on her face widened and her eyes narrowed in a devious motion. She was flirting. While I was trying to threaten her into terror, she was flirting with me. “ Listen to me ,” I swatted her hand away, the warning tone I’d once had quickly falling apart as I became flustered, “This is my domain. You dare intrude on my stage and try to outperform me?! ” 

 

She let out a deep, smooth laugh. As much as it pained me to admit it, I didn’t mind hearing her laugh, even if it was directed at me. “Is that what you thought I was doing? Challenging you?”

 

I lowered my pointed finger in confusion. The Empress shook her head. “I just needed to make sure you weren’t some spineless slug who was pretending to be something they were not. Now I see exactly what you are, Jules. You’re vain, and jealous, and you aren’t afraid to take what you want.” I remained silent, unsure how to respond to those harsh but absolutely true accusations. Then, her face completely softened, and that once mischievous smirk and glare lightened into a soft, though completely sincere smile, a beautiful smile. “I can live with a little jealousy,” she chuckled, pushing past me softly and beginning to walk down the hall again. “We’ll talk later. Goodnight, Jules.”

 

My mouth was still hanging open as she disappeared into the dark. For once, I didn’t know what move to make or what words to say, so I said the only thing that came to mind. “Goodnight.”

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

“And then, he had the nerve to make a bet with me over it. Can you believe that?” Tanasha chuckled to herself, lounging in one of the ornate stuffed chairs as she waited for me to make a move. The Killers’ Lounge was surprisingly homey for a place built to house murderers, designed like the interior of an old, gothic castle. 

 

The Empress was quite relaxed, still laughing to herself as she told her story. I might have laughed in response but all of my focus was on trying to dig myself out of the trap my opponent had laid out on the chessboard. I was more suited for playing chess with actual people, not with the little wooden pawns on a board. Tanasha was apparently proficient at both.

 

I blocked one of her attacking bishops with the threat of one of my knights moving into play. “What did he bet you? A horse? A house?” I didn’t quite know what sort of things people of Tanasha’s rank and stature betted. The Empress only chortled, placing a hand over her face and looking at the board through her fingers. “He told me that if he won, he would have my hand in marriage as a prize!”

 

“And the game was chess … by his choice? Did he know you were such a beastly sport?”

 

“Come now, I know you're losing but there’s no reason to be sore,” Tanasha teased, not even flinching at my knight’s threat as she moved a pawn forward, practically daring me to take the bishop and lose my piece in the process. I scoffed and glared up at her as she stifled a chuckle with her hand. The light band around her finger where a ring had evidently once lived caught my eye before I turned my attention back to the board. I wasn’t playing chess with the wooden pieces now, I was setting up the board for a mind game. “So clearly he lost, but surely at some point there was a king.” The squint of Tanasha’s smile disappeared from her eyes slightly as she nodded. “Yes, there was.”

 

Something in my heart fell at those words, though I didn’t know why it pained me so much. I retracted my knight, sitting back in my chair a bit gloomier than before. Then Tanasha continued, “And, at some point, a second queen.” My eyes shot up just in time to see Tanasha contain her devious smirk as she leaned back to the board and moved her bishop a bit further, increasing the pressure on my pieces. The glint in her eye told me she had caught hold of my game of mind chess just that quickly and was beating me savagely at both games. Even still, I had to take a sip of my tea to hide my smile. “A second queen? Fascinating.”

 

Tanasha nodded, staring at her nails in boredom.

 

“How did that happen?”

 

“I poisoned one to be with the other. She tried to kill me some time after.”

 

A bit of my tea slipped into my windpipe and I sputtered for a moment, trying to recompose myself. Tanasha didn’t seem to notice and continued to speak. “Perhaps she succeeded and this is what death is like,” she murmured, looking around the lounge with new eyes. I set my cup down, carelessly shifting a pawn forward on the board before leaning towards the Empress. “I don’t recall dying. If you’re dead, shouldn’t I be as well?”

 

“Unless my mind simply created you to keep me company.”

 

“That’s awfully pessimistic.”

 

“It’s realistic. One moment I was at the mercy of a falling guillotine blade, the next I was here.” Tanasha raised her cup of tea to her lips nonchalantly, but I could see the grim look that shadowed her once peaceful eyes. “It’s the only logical explanation,” she sighed before taking a sip. There was a tense silence for a moment. I didn’t know how to respond to something like that. After a while, Tanasha lowered her cup and moved her hand forward to take her turn. Without a thought I shot a hand forward, placing it on top of hers as she reached for her queen. “This isn’t death,” I said, giving the only words that would come to mind. “Couldn’t be if you’re here with me. This is a second chance at life . We won’t waste it.”

 

Tanasha blinked at me blankly for a moment, then her eyes softened again and the quaint smile was back. “Jules?” she said softly.

 

“Yes?” I answered, matching the song-like tone of her voice with a smile.

 

“Checkmate.” She slid her queen into a direct path with my king, revealing to me far too late just how many attacking pieces she’d been building up. My smile dropped and Tanasha broke into a laugh at the frown that filled my face. As she sat back and laughed, my smile slowly returned. So what if she had won the match? I’d won the game I was really playing. 

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

“What do you plan on doing once we get out of here?” 

 

I glanced over at Tanasha, raising an eyebrow. “That speaks to the assumption that we’re leaving this place,” I chuckled, holding out a hand towards the stars and tracing the constellations between my fingers. Funnily enough, I wasn’t sure the night sky I was looking at or the grass we were lying on was even real. This was just another cut of the world replicated to perfection and placed in the Mist’s sandbox. Some idle field in the middle of nowhere was quite possibly missing a piece, a piece that Tanasha and I were able to enjoy without the worries of the incredibly wide world weighing on us.

 

The Empress set her head on my shoulder, placing her slightly smaller hand atop my own and closing her fingers in the spaces between mine. “Well now who’s being pessimistic?” she teased, pulling my hand down and holding our intertwined fingers between us. “Surely you don’t think we’re stuck here indefinitely…”

 

To be honest, I didn’t know what to think. The Mist had given no hint or sign that we’d be able to leave this place. In fact, new faces and places kept appearing every so often, hinting that we’d never truly be freed from this place, only that it would continue to evolve so we wouldn’t grow bored of it. I shrugged. “There’s nothing holding us back here. Sure, there are rules, but we can be ourselves here with little to no consequence.” I looked back down at Tanasha, but she was avoiding my gaze, instead placing her focus on tracing the lines in my palm. There was a somber look covering her face, and the sight of her apparent displeasure made me frown. “Clearly you don’t feel the same,” I said quietly.

 

Tanasha sighed, pausing her mindless distraction as she turned her eyes back up to the stars. “I’m a queen , Jules. My kingdom and my throne were taken from me. These petty games have been good to release some pent up anger, but …”

 

“You still want what’s yours,” I finished as she trailed off. There was silence between us for a moment. “So, if it came down to the gates opening for us and getting a chance to go back, you’d leave me?” I pulled my hand away slowly, still staring at the stars and doing my best to put on a blank mask. Tanasha’s head shot up, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her staring at me with a wide-eyed look. “Of course not!” she responded, sitting up a bit and forcing herself into my line-of-sight as she leaned over me. “Jules,” she called, and I reluctantly pulled my gaze to her. Despite my attempt to keep my voice emotionless as I had asked the question, Tanasha had obviously picked up on the worry I held under the surface. I’d had people love me before, praise me as I played my part and took my bows, but this … this was love. I didn’t want to lose that, and if that meant staying here, it was simply a sacrifice the theater would have to live with.

 

My face screwed up with the pain of sadness as I looked away from Tanasha. Her words said she wouldn’t leave, but her eyes … the eyes told all, and hers said that she wanted her throne back more than anything. I shooed a stinging in my eyes and forced the tears back down as I stared blankly at the expansive field, only ending in a distant wall of dark mist. I was debating simply standing and returning back to the rooms until a tickling on the palm of my hand drew my head back towards Tanasha. I barely had time to register her sliding her hand back into mine before she threw an arm around my waist and hugged into me, digging her head into my side.

 

There was a moment of shock, followed by a deep warmth as Tanasha uttered with all seriousness: “I’m not leaving you behind, Jules.” I don’t know how long we stayed that way, long enough that my arm began to ache as it fell asleep with Tanasha lying on top of it. By the time I thought to move, she was fast asleep, and I couldn’t bring myself to risk waking her as I readjusted, so with my free hand I removed my hat and placed it over her head with a light chuckle. “Goodnight, Tanasha.”

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

After growing so accustomed to the stiff, stagnant air inside the Mist’s enclosed sandbox, the dry, arid climate that punched at my throat now was the first clear indicator that we were outside of the Mist’s reach. It was incredible, how after talking about it and joking for months, it had finally happened; we were no longer imprisoned in a game of cat and mouse … and I had no clue what to do. I glanced over where Tanasha was already dusting herself off and had outstretched a hand to pull me up, which I took gladly. 

 

Adjusting my hat so it would cover my shoulders where the sun was currently stabbing at me with its rays, I squinted my eyes and looked around at our new surroundings. “Tanasha,” I croaked, trying to swallow and get some moisture back to my tongue, “Is this-”

 

Tanasha nodded. Her kingdom … was much hotter than I had pictured. We stood there a moment, staring at the crown of a city lying in wait of our arrival in the distance. No words needed to be said as a glance passed between us both. We had talked about this for what seemed like an eternity. We had planned every detail intricately and with the utmost delicacy. The stunned expression both of us wore from suddenly being dropped her faded quickly as we both sprang into action with one goal in mind; it was time to take Tanasha’s throne back.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

[WARNING: This portion in bold contains violence and some gore! You won’t miss anything vital if you need to skip it.]

 

The guards did not go down easily.

 

I didn’t expect them to; mother had always screened every guard herself. She wanted to be sure only the best were hired to protect her daughter when I came of age to take the mantle of Empress. They were good, yes, but they were disloyal to me, which only made things more difficult as I strode into halls full of trained warriors hostile to me.

 

The shock factor of seeing a woman who had supposedly been executed but whose body had disappeared mere moments before the blade dropped caused enough hesitation that I easily dispatched of the first two guards in the hall before the others could come to their senses. I pulled my scepter – increasingly more effective as a weapon since my time in the mist – and swung it at the next guard, catching him clean across the face and sending him staggering back as another came charging towards me. They caught the backswing and then got the blunt end shoved into their nose, causing them to cry out in pain and writhing on the ground while I put my focus on a trio of guards who wisely decided to try attacking me all at once.

 

I dodged the spear of the first one, causing the unfortunate soldier behind me to catch the blade directly in the chest. As the first guard frantically tried to pull his spear free from his coworker’s sternum, I had already swiped the third’s feet from under her, sending her crashing to the ground. She scrambled for her spear, but I had already kicked it up into my grasp and thrusted the blade down into her hand. 

 

As she cried out in pain, I caught sight of the first guard – his now free, but bloody spear pointed at me – rushing to attack again. I let him run foolishly right at me, planting my feet and stooping down to reach for his legs. The much larger guard yelped in surprise as I tipped his balance and sent him tumbling over my back, rolling directly into the spear holding the other guard down and sending the blade slicing down, cutting her hand in half vertically.

 

As the first tried to get to his feet, I took the butt of my scepter and jabbed it into his eye, causing a blood curdling scream to echo down the halls. Well, there goes the element of surprise. Ah, well, more fun then. 

 

With the scepter still lodged in his eye, I swung up, jerking the guards head back with a sickening popping noise before he dropped to the ground. I wiped the sticky red liquid that stained the scepter’s handle off on his uniform, turning back to the third guard as the sound of footsteps began to grow louder and louder down the hall. The remaining guard was looking at me with widened eyes, clutching her flayed hand close to her heart. “You … y-you’re the headless witch!”

 

I narrowed my eyes, glaring at the woman with disdain. “ Clearly, my head is still attached. Yours, on the other hand…” I picked up one of the grounded spears, approaching the guard slowly and making one clean swing from a distance. The spearhead only cut through the flesh deep enough that it wasn’t until the woman dared to move that her neck collapsed under the weight of her head and tore from her body, rolling off to one side.

 

The door at the far end of the hall swung open, and another battalion of soldiers marched in. In the lead was a face I recognized; one of the castle’s chief guards and the man who my mother had designated as my bodyguard early on. He had been the one to lead Demeter’s rebellion against me. I stared into his eyes with a cold vengeance, and he faltered only for a moment before raising his sword in the air. “ For the queen! ” he shouted, smirking at me slightly as he spat the clear insult directly in my face. 

 

Of all the guards I beheaded that day, I enjoyed taking his head the most.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

I had expected the room reserved for the queen to be something grandiose and standing at the center of the palace, but had it not been for Tanasha’s directions, I likely would have passed it several times and only found it after checking every room. The door was cracked open, a faint orange glow coming from it. I pushed it open lightly looking around the room briefly before  my eyes settled on a shape on the other side of the room. A woman sat at the mirror applying makeup to her face. She paused, sighing lightly. “I was wondering how long it’d take you to get here,” she remarked carelessly as she abandoned the makeup materials in favor of messing with her hair.

 

“Well, it’s not easy when every hallway looks the same.”

 

The woman spun around quickly, staring at me with wide eyes. “You’re … not Tanasha …”

 

“No,” I confirmed, shaking my head slightly with a smile on my face. I had hardly even said anything and I could already see her fear. Then, as quickly as it came, the fear vanished. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my palace?” she asked, her voice becoming suddenly very commanding as she stood to her feet.

 

I still couldn’t bring myself to be intimidated.”You may call me Jules, and I’m here to help Tanasha reclaim her palace.”

 

Though her facial expression didn’t change, Demeter scoffed. “You clearly don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

 

I pulled my bloodstained shard of broken mirror from an old prop sheath I had swiped from the theater ages ago and tossed it between my hands. “Oh? And you think I should, what, fear you ?”

 

“Not me,” Demeter said with the cold shake of her head. I rolled my eyes and caught sight of an ornate candlestick sitting on the dresser near me. Hm … best not to make a mess and keep her in one piece in case Tanasha still needed her for something … or just wanted to see her former lover suffer. Resheathing the mirror shard, I picked up the candlestick and started approaching Demeter. Her brave face didn’t falter, but her shaking hands as she backed into the desk mirror told me all I needed to know. “You’re making a mistake,” she continued to try reasoning with me. “You don’t know what she’s capable of.”

 

A loud cackle escaped my lips before I had time to process it. “I know exactly what she’s capable of; you can be sure of that.” There was a muted thud as the candlestick connected with Demeter’s skull, and the queen dropped to the ground, her eyes fluttering back in her head for a moment before she fully fell unconscious.

 

-+x+x+-

 

“And you know the rest,” I finished quietly, still staring at the shadows that danced on the ground with the flickering of the lights on the dungeon walls. “We took the throne, Tanasha turned on me … what more is there to say? Demeter remained silent in her cell, likely too parched to even respond, but she nodded quietly, and in that moment I didn’t mind her presence so much as I had. If I couldn’t trust someone I thought I could, perhaps I could trust someone I thought I couldn’t just a little bit.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

The Visit

The days seemed to be endless. Every minute dragged on seemingly forever. Since when did being in power get so … boring? I immediately thought of the answer. Since you’ve had no one to share it with. There had to be something I could do to take my mind off of … things. As if summoned by the very thought, one of the timid advisors that had been a bit too quick to agree to my execution appeared suddenly at the side of the throne, staring directly at the ground as he often did. The slug cleared his throat quietly, trying to gain my attention. “Yes,” I sighed, fiercening my glare against him.

 

“Your majesty, with your reclaiming of the throne, there are a few things that need to be handled.” I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood for this right now. “I won’t be handling hours of logistics today, thank you,” I grumbled, starting to shoo the slug off.

 

“Well, perhaps you would like to send a reply to the Baron of the neighboring lands about his request for new borderlines?”

 

I shook my head. I had forgotten how much royal matters gave me a headache. Beginning to pick up on my current mood, the slug fell silent for a moment before clearing his throat quietly again. “Perhaps her majesty would care to set a trial date for the prisoners?”

 

Prisoners. Right.

 

I looked up again, my bored gaze landing on the slug. He and several others in the royal court ought to have been sitting in a cell right alongside Demeter, but replacing them at this time would have been too difficult. The advisor shriveled under my burning stare. I watched him squirm for another moment before staring straight ahead again. “I believe I’d like to go speak with the prisoners before I set a trial date for them.”

 

The slug looked up quickly. “O-of course your majesty. Shall I send a guard to accompany you?”

 

“No,” I said with a shake of my head, standing from my throne. “I’ll go alone.”

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

The smell of mold and damp stone greeted me as soon as the prison door swung open. Bleak … I could easily recall the days I’d spent in this dungeon as I awaited the date of my own execution. I still knew the way, the snaking path leading through plenty of empty cells as I made my way to the back. I knew the clicking of my heels on the cobble would announce my arrival, and though part of me wanted to be a silent specter that suddenly appeared, another part of me wanted my arrival known. It would give her time to prepare.

 

The cell was dark, light from the lit torches around hardly reaching past the bars. I stood in front of the cell a while, my shadow casting an almost unnatural darkness in the already dim room. There was silence for a moment, and I wondered if perhaps she hadn’t heard me at all, or if she was sleeping.

 

“So, do you regularly visit your prisoners?”

 

Ah, so she was awake.

 

“Only the special ones,” I responded evenly, still struggling to see Jules in the dark of the cell. She scoffed at me and shifted, allowing me to catch her movement and finally make out her figure. 

 

“Oh, so I’m special, am I?” She pulled herself to her feet, stepping towards the bars enough that I could begin to see the false smirk on her face. “Special enough to be used and imprisoned,” she spat. I resisted the urge to avert my gaze, instead holding Jules’ glare with a completely blank look of my own. I said nothing, waiting for the enraged actress to continue. 

 

Continue, she did; “Tell me, how long were you planning that little move? Was it a spontaneous betrayal, or have you been sharpening the knife to plunge into my back from the very start?” I twitched struggling to contain the startled expression that was trying to break through. Jules believed I had been using her the whole time, that all of it was a game? Despite the will to defend myself, I still remained silent. “Did I ever mean anything to you, or was this all some sick game to entertain yourself with? That’s what it was … I was just your pet, right?!” She was screaming now, and her face was practically through the bars as she spat at me.

 

Don’t crack.

 

I waited as she continued to vent. She screamed, and she wailed, and then she cried, and she sobbed. She sank to the ground, still holding tightly to the bars as she melted. Her face had begun to redden and swell as she banged her hands on the metal of the gate. “ TELL ME!” she screamed, finally. I waited for something else, another demand or insult, but all that was left was cries of anguish. My heart ached at the sight of her like this. She’d appeared to be someone stronger than everyone else, more capable and prepared. Now I realized that that had been her greatest role of all; the strong, stone-cold, unbreakable Jules I had seen all that time was just another character. And the real Jules? The real Jules was falling apart; she was afraid and she was broken.

 

I took in a breath, crouching down until I was almost at eye-level with Jules. There was a moment of hesitation before I reached my hand through the bars, cradling her tear-stricken face in my palm. There was no resistance, and after a moment, the cries began to quiet to nothing but a sniffling. Then Jules looked up at me. “Why?” she asked, the devastation in her eyes hiding a sliver of hope within them.

 

I thought about it for a moment, doing my best to come up with a way to explain it. The reason, the true reason? I was afraid, deathly afraid. I’d already been through this dance before, a dance of double betrayal. I’d taken up a partner to bring down another and ruled the dance floor as my own. The motions I was oh-so-familiar with were happening all over again, and this time I would not let the result be the same. I could never go through that heartbreak again.

 

“Oh Jules,” I sighed, trying to manage a smile through my aching heart. “I just love you too much. You could ruin me.”

 

She wiped the last few traces of tears from her eyes. “I don’t understand …”

 

“You mean too much to me,” I continued, trying my best to spell it out without revealing my true weakness. “You were never just a pet to me. If anything I felt more like a pet to you. You could ruin me, and I’d be too enamored to stop you.” Jules squinted at me. “What … you …” Her eyes widened, and I knew in an instant she understood what I was talking about. “You think I’d have betrayed you?!” she cried indignantly, her sadness once again turning into rage. “Did you seriously think I was her ?!” she threw her hand in the direction of the other cage, the one I knew housed Demeter.

 

“I …” I started to defend myself, but simply didn’t know how to continue.

 

Jules didn’t give me the time to even try. “I am not her. I actually cared, Tanasha! I really loved you! She just used you to get what she wanted! … exactly how you used me…”

 

Something like the feeling of ice shooting through my heart caused me to snatch my hand back through the bars. Jules' vulnerable true face was remasked in an instant and a new character was being portrayed, one I’d never seen directed at me. She was cold, unforgiving, and worst of all she was giving me the grim look she’d use on the survivors we used to chase. “Fine then. You won’t have to worry about me ever again,” she said, her voice recomposed to a chilling degree. The only evidence her mask had ever slipped was the slight swelling of her face and the streaks left on her face from where the tears had run.

 

“Jules,” I started, only to be halted by Jules' hand raising as she turned her head away. “That will be all, your majesty .” She disappeared back into the darkness of her cell, leaving me to stare at the empty space she’d once sat in. I could call her back, command her even, but she wouldn’t listen or obey. I wasn’t her queen. I wasn’t her anything anymore.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

Try all she wanted, Tanasha couldn’t hide the absolute pain on her face. I smirked in the dark, knowing she couldn’t see my sadistic smile from where she sat. Honestly, I couldn’t care any more or less if she could see the smile. Let her know I take pleasure in her pain, so what? It served her right, it was the least I could do to strike back at her.

 

As the clicking of her heels faded into the distance, it became clear that this strike didn’t feel as good as I originally hoped it would. Sure it was satisfying in the moment, but there was a growing cold digging a hollow in my heart, and it was beginning to feel painful. I could curse Tanasha all I wanted, but despite all of this, despite all she’d done I missed her; I loved her. I dug my nails into my arms in growing anger, eventually standing after the dungeon had grown silent and kicking the bars with a frustrated screech, pulling at them furiously and screaming almost endlessly. Demeter watched my breakdown in silence, a small mercy that I needed desperately in the moment.

 

When silence filled the cell again, I sat back on the cot. The loneliness seemed to last forever.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

The Bet

“ Release her? But my queen, you said it yourself, she attacked royalty! There hasn’t even been a trial!”

 

I spun on the advisor, seething at the doubt in his voice. “Did I stutter?” I asked with venom in my voice. The slug shook his head frantically. “N-No, your majesty, of course not! I’ll have her released right away!”

 

“Good,” I said, reining in my anger and recomposing myself to the steel-faced queen I knew everyone had grown used to seeing. “And have food and water brought down for Demeter on the way.” The slug nodded and fell silent before looking up from the ground. “Would you … like to see her after she’s released, your majesty?”

 

I froze before quickly turning on the advisor again. As much as the question had set something in my heart ablaze in the most terrible way, I couldn’t blame the slug. It was obvious the kind of closeness Jules and I held with one another, and he couldn’t possibly know what kind of state both of us were in. I bit my tongue, restraining myself from cursing the slug or slapping him as I let out a breath slowly. My rage dissolved into melancholy. “No,” I replied quietly, looking at the palace’s marble floor. “Just release her and remove her from the palace.”

The slug nodded earnestly, still casting a worried glance over his shoulder as he hurried away. There was still time to stop him, to tell him that I was wrong and I actually did want to see Jules. But I did not, and he’d rounded the corner before I even had the chance to change my mind.

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

The clapping and cheering and whistling filled the theater, making my head ring a bit as the audience refused to quiet down. I had fallen out of the habit of hearing it, and throwing myself back into the swing of things after disappearing for five years was certainly taking more out of me than I originally thought. It wasn’t the same; these performers and audiences of people who thought they knew me but were simply strangers with tickets – it was frustrating. Despite our warring positions, the survivors in the Mist had come to know me, the real me. They were the ones I missed most as I stared at these unfamiliar faces in the crowd. 

 

As the cast all took a bow, then two , then three, I quickly took the opportunity to exit stage left and get out of the light. The cast and crew likely thought I must have been sick. Jules the Showstopper was always still standing on the stage when everyone else was long gone; she always had the last bow. Well, perhaps that Jules had, but this Jules just found it all so … unsatisfying. Where was the excitement, where was the risk? I opened the door to my dressing room, a place that had hardly changed a bit except with a lot more flowers than usual after my disappearance. I shut it behind me, letting out a deep breath. I was tired of all this, even after only being back a few days.

 

I sat down in my chair and stared at my reflection in the mirror for a moment. Jules the Showstopper; oh how the mighty had fallen. Scoffing, I pulled my tube of lipstick from the desk, trying to find something to occupy myself with as I waited for the crowds to be herded out of the theater so I could leave in peace.

 

“M-Miss J?”

 

I paused, blinking at my reflection before rolling my eyes. Terry had likely been the only one excited to hear I was back. As my manager I suppose that was because I was his living, but still, the timid little troll of a man didn’t utterly disgust me like most of the others. I did find him a bit irritating, especially when he refused to look me in the eye or found himself flinching at every threat and non-threat that came his way. He was – What had Tanasha called people like him? Ah yes. – a spineless slug. 

 

“ Uh, Miss J, are you in there?”

 

Oh, right. I should probably answer. “Yes, Terry? What is it?” I sighed a little snappishly.

 

“ There’s someone here who wants to speak with you.”

 

I groaned, rolling my eyes again. “I’m done talking with reporters and investigators today Terry, send them away.” Terry mumbled something on the other side of the door before I could hear the odd waddle-thumping of his footsteps retreating down the hall. Honestly the police and media had been the worst part of this return to the spotlight. Emery was still declared missing, and due to an anonymous tip, I was suspect number one. Emery was fine of course, likely dropped off in some remote location by the Mist as everyone else had. I couldn’t tell anyone that, however, at least not without incriminating myself, so Emery would remain missing until they decided to make a reappearance.

 

Two knocks on the door interrupted my thoughts. Terry didn’t knock; he knew I hated the noise of someone beating on my door with their knuckles, so he simply called my name through the door if he needed me. This was that reporter. “I thought I made it clear,” I called through the door, “I won’t be doing any more interviews today,” I grumbled, returning to applying my lipstick. The sound of the door being opened caused my head to whip around. “Who would dare to–”

 

My breath hitched in my throat when I saw her. The trench coat, messy hair, and glasses didn’t fool me. I knew exactly who she was. What she was doing here however … that was a different question entirely.

 

My mind blanked for a moment, so much so that as she sat down and began speaking all of it was a blur. My brain jumped back into the one-sided conversation midway, attempting to pick up on whatever she had been saying.

 

“... heard you would be doing a show here. I was originally here to meet some diplomat about a trade deal or something along those lines, but I saw that flier and none of it really mattered anymore. I of course had my suspicions about a play named The Game Between Queens , even more so when I found out you had written it. You must understand my discomfort at the thought of reliving my past through a theater performance but … well if I’m honest, I was just eager to see you…”

 

That snapped me out of my fugue and my eyes drifted up slowly. Tanasha was holding her hands on her lap, staring off to the side with a sort of longing look. “Came to see me …” I repeated thoughtlessly. “Whatever for?”

 

Tanasha looked up and met my eye for a moment before averting her gaze again. “I … Well we always talked about you taking me to one of your plays when we got back. I still wanted to see one, and you were just as amazing as I thought you’d be, of course. I wish I’d been on time and seen it all from the start, but still it was absolutely amazing from what I did see. I can see why you were such a big deal here …”

 

Tanasha continued to ramble on, a move that didn’t really suit the usually stoic queen. I attributed the behavior to her frantic nerves and the clear tension between the both of us sitting here after nearly five years since we had split. Before she could go on about a pointless ramble about how she loved the color they had chosen for the curtain in the theater, I cleared my throat.

 

“What about a bet,” I said suddenly, pulling my head back up to attention. Tanasha paused, then cocked her head. “What kind of bet?”

 

“Chess. If you win, I’ll give you the second chance you want. But, if I win, whatever I say goes. Do you understand?”

 

Tanasha blinked at me. “You’re challenging me to a bet?” she asked slowly. I nodded in response. “And … you chose chess ?” I sighed, crossing my arms and sitting back in my seat. “I’m not really in the mood to waste time, Tanasha. It’s a simple yes or no.” Tanasha stared at me a moment, likely deciding whether this was some sort of sick game. “Well,” I interrupted her thoughts, “Is it a deal or not?”

 

Tanasha nodded slowly. “It’s a bet.”

 

—------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Checkmate.”

 

The word felt wrong, something about it didn’t quite taste right. I suppose that had to do with the fact I had expected it to come from Tanasha’s mouth, but after what seemed to be an eternal game in silence, I had mate.

 

Tanasha stared at the board a moment, then looked back at me, the blank stare still on her face as she extended her hand out for a handshake. “Well played,” she said with a curt nod. “A bet is a bet.”

 

I shook my head. No, no, no. That wasn’t well played. That was sloppy at best. I narrowed my eyes into a glare, trying to stare directly into Tanasha’s soul and determine what she was playing at. “You let me win,” I muttered, crossing my fingers under my chin. I expected Tanasha to protest, to put on a show to make it seem like I’d simply been blessed with incredible skill or luck or both. There was no flattery, only another nod. “Yes, I did.”

 

I blinked, my glare widening into a gawk of shock. “But the bet. If I won, I got to decide whatever I wanted …”

 

Tanasha nodded again. “Yes.”

 

“I could tell you to stay out of my sight for the rest of your life. I could tell you to jump off a ledge, not that you’d listen.”

 

“If that’s what you wanted.” The Empress's response was cold and even, truly indifferent to all. 

 

“You do realize how risky that is … why … why would you purposefully lose?”

 

Tanasha sighed and crossed her legs, staring back down at the chessboard. “That day I visited you in that cell … you made me realize something, Jules. You were right, you aren’t Demeter. You’ve proven on multiple occasions you aren’t in this for money or status. It was me you wanted. Just me. I wish I would have realized it sooner, but I know it now, so …” She gestured to the finished chess match on the table before looking back up at me. “I trust you Jules. Whatever decision you make, I believe in you enough that I’ll believe it’s the right decision.”

 

I tightened my glare again, searching for any trace of the devious queen within that stare, but there was only Tanasha, the woman I had poured my heart into on multiple occasions and had done the same to me. The woman who had picked me up at my lowest, the woman who – despite betraying me – had come back after all this time to reclaim me. There was sincerity in this woman’s eyes. This was my Tanasha.

 

“My decision …” I echoed Tanasha’s words slowly, staring at the chessboard. The ticking of the clock on my desk filled the room, and Tanasha waited patiently as I thought silently.

 

Then, I looked up. I reset my face instantly, replacing my previous grimace with a wide smile and bright eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am. I’m Jules,” I said, extending my hand for a friendly shake. Tanasha blinked at me in confusion for a moment, looking down at my hand and then back at me before catching on quickly. Her face softened into her kind smile again as she met my hand in a shake. “Charmed, Ms. Jules. I am Tanasha.”

 

“Tanasha, a lovely name.”

 

“Why, thank you.”

 

This would be one of my more difficult roles. I hadn’t completely forgiven Tanasha for what she’d done, and I believed she knew that as well, but she had also proven to me that the woman I loved was still there, and still in love with me. That was all I needed to give this another shot. I cast my glance to the miniature grandfather clock seated on my desk. Eleven at night, already? That chess game had lasted longer than I thought. “Well, Ms. Tanasha, it was absolutely wonderful meeting you, but I’m afraid it’s getting a bit late. Shall we speak tomorrow?” Tanasha nodded politely, rising from her seat. “We shall.”

 

“Well then,” I said, walking her to the door and opening it for her, “Until tomorrow. Goodnight, Tanasha.”

 

Tanasha looked back at me with a smile that held a certain flavor of absolute gratitude. She gave me a look that broke the character of our fresh start in a way I didn’t really mind. “Goodnight, Jules,” she responded softly. “And, thank you.”

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Like You Were Never Gone ...