Chapter 1: ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ถ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐๐
Notes:
โโโโเญจเงโโโโMOST IMPORTANT BEFORE READINGโโโโเญจเงโโโโ
Importantly, this story touches on topics of ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ, ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐บ๐ฎ, and ๐๐ป๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐๐ต๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ถ๐๐บ๐ [oversexualising ect.]
overall this book is a lot of sex talk and talk about sex in variouses senses. it's smuttish [no romanticing of sexual assult or treating it as empowering for character development or used for a plotline.]
it simply is smuttish. there are smut scenes [like I want to say around 10 chapter] every book from this series, but overall it's heavy sexual content, even if not graphic. it contains [consensual] smut scenes between minors.
so if a single of these aspect you do not feel comfortable with or its against your beliefs, morals, or personal preference, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ!
๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐๐ ๐ ๐จ๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ง ๐ฉ๐ง๐๐ช๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช!
it touches on uncomfortable subjects surrounding sex too.
also, there are mentions of body fluids of different form, so...
and I won't be writing trigger warning for every chapter where sex-subject is mentioned because like I said it's nearly every, so that's why I have this long disclaimer here that this book ๐๐จ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ค๐ฃ๐.
I wrote it with a thought of 'art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable', so I am open to a constructive criticism in my comments to point out where I wrote something wrongly, if I did. but if you read my book, and it simply disgusts you for what it is, then do not leave hate comments: close it and forget it.
Chapter Text
ย ย ย ย ย When people cherish the beauty of nature, they rarely speak of the process it took to create something so majestic.
Spiritually, the stargazer lily was a symbol of ambition and aspiration. It symbolised bluntnessโit dared to be seen, it dared not demean itself by hiding like a secret in the shadows of nature. It faced the sky, loud and vivid. It represented beauty, life, and new beginnings. It was pure and devoted to reaching the heavens in search of guidance, blessings, and fulfilment. It faced light in darkness.
In Greek mythology, the lily was born from Hera's milkโwhen droplets fell to earth, lilies sprang up, forever tied to divinity, femininity, and the birth of the Milky Way itself. Muggle Christians associated white lilies with purity, innocence, and new lifeโthe archangel Gabriel handing the Virgin Mary a lily, telling her she would bear the Christ child. In various religions, the lily was an emblem of virtue.
In Japan, the stargazer lily, as a hybrid, was seen as luxurious and boldโa show of dramatic passion.
In art, lilies appeared to represent natural beauty and sensuality. With time the stargazer lily became a sign of shameless aspiration and desire.
In the romantic and gothic poetry Vivien had read, the stargazer lily played a role of lost innocence and tragic love. Still, Vivien could not forget how Victorians saw giving someone a lily as a hint at high regardโor even death, because of their funeral use.
Vivien was like a stargazer lily in a world that taught her to act lowlyโferal, disobedient, and wilful at first glanceโwild. But whoever dared to cross her path easily saw what lay beneath the fearlessness to face the stars. Something delicateโsensitive but majestic. Vivien protected herself from the cruelty of her world. Beneath, she was fragile and vulnerable.
She wasn't obnoxious or rudeโshe wasn't a flower blooming between the cracks of stone. She was a small thing in a big world. She simply was a beauty that didnโt need a vaseโto be cut, sorted, and arranged.
She was a little flower that needed light to bloom.
She was simply someone looking for a lightโsun. Moon.
Or a star.
One little star to guide her through the darkness.
Chapter 2: mythos about a moth
Chapter Text
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๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐๐ข๐ค๐ฆ๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ข๐๐ฏ
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ย ย ย ย ย ย Two Hufflepuff prefectsโEdgar Bones and Zahara Hassaniโapproached Lily Evans on her sides. They shared knowing glances out of the corners of their eyes, when James Potter grasped Vivien Beauchรชne by a wrist to stop her from walking away. And they all saw her slapping him so hard that he was slammed into a window. His glasses fell to the floor and he collapsed onto Remus Lupin, who pitifully attempted to catch him. Unfortunately, Potter's dramatic fall caused Lupin to stumble and fall on his arse, his friend dropping with him.
In the background, Sirius Black was pushing Peter Pettigrew and Mary MacDonald into a compartment. Quickly, he caught Alice Fortescue by hand and dragged her hurriedly into the room at last.
"Hide! Hide!" He whisper-shouted.
Lily sighed, rushing onto the scene.
"Oh," Murmured Zahara.
"Shite." Edgar finished for her.
They looked at each other blankly, then at Regulus Black over their shoulders. Black sat on the couch with a book in his hands, though they knew he wasn't reading from the moment he heard Vivien's voice.
Edgar rolled his eyes at the prick. Who the fuck he was trying to kid he was all fine in the compartment full of prefects who were aware that the girl he was smitten with was making rage sacrifices outside of it?
"You might want to save everyone from your beauty, prince charming."
Regulus eyed Zahara. He closed his book with a silent thud and stood with a dramatic sigh. He passed Bones, ignoring him completely. Fucking Bones was the only prefect not wearing his school uniform yet, and Regulus didn't like it at all.
Vivien saw Evans hurry to help her friends. With a roll of eyes, she gazed out of the window, fields of flowers becoming blurs of colours. In the meantime, more prefects showed on the scene of one of Vivien's few crimes that day. She felt Zahara wrap her arms around her waist and rest her chin on her shoulder.
She intended to look at Zahara but her eyes met Regulus stopping beside her with his brows raised. They gazed at each other until Vivien looked away again, her heart skipping.
But Regulus didn't look away.
"Are you fine?"
"Is she fine?" Lily's eyebrows lowered in a judgemental frown. She stared at younger Black, helping her friends collect themselves from the ground. "I would rather ask if Remus and James are fine."
"To be honest, I don't care if they are. They are not my priority." Regulus smirked sarcastically at her.
She sent him the same shite-eating expression.
"Oh, believe us, mate, when we say we know about your little priorities." Potter spat out, annoyed with the other Black.
Regulus glared at him, storming him with a striking look of his eyes.
They were ready to fight-
"Okay, you cretin," Dorcas Meadowes pointed her finger at the Head Boy. "Shut up."
Around her shoulders was Barty Crouch Jr., grinning. He looked around at all the faces, his hand shoved into the pocket of his trousers nonchalantly.
"There's drama and you didn't invite us?"
Edgarโs, Remusโ, Jamesโ, and Lilyโs scoffs echoed in sync. That was the last person they needed there!
Zahara smiled at Crouch Jr.'s stupidity, her full lips glinting with lipgloss.
"So what did we miss?" Dorcasโ teeth shone in a grin. She didn't have to admit out loud that she was satisfied at the sight of James Potter getting punched in the face by his own girl best friend.
Vivien could feel all the eyes resting on her. She groaned, looking away from the grassland behind the window.
"What." She asked dryly, her tone slightly harsh.
"What happened?" Lily repeated.
Vivien threw her head back with a bored groan, hearing her voice.
"How would I know? They were like this when I came out from the bathroom." Vivien pointed her hand accusingly at James and Remus.
Lupin cringed, listening to her poor lies.
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ย ย ย ย ย Sweet sixteen didn't treat Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne kindly. It was a dark time in her life. War wasn't colourful and there was no sun to shine through the rain and clouds. If it was a picture, it would be a mediaeval painting with the motif of the Danse Macabre. But in Hogwarts Express, it felt like everything was the sameโthe smell of hormones stirred with the taste of sweets, masking bitterness of teenagehood.
The tiny bathroom was filled with thick hot air, and Vivien wished moans were escaping from her lips. Edgar was standing between her parted legs, her feet hanging motionless. Her bare bum was on the edge of the washstand and her hands were wandering under his polo neck. With every movement of his hips, Vivien scratched his skin passionlessly.
"I guess summer didn't go as planned?" Edgar could tell he was boring Vivien.
It was quite new for both of them. He took his chance to make a little bit of fun of her, and changed the subject from them two shagging, neither close to reaching a peak.
"Young Black didn't fulfill his duty to pleasure his fiancรฉe properly, did he?"
The only groan Vivien let out was a frustrated one. Boys.
"Pleasure has nothing to do with martial duty." She corrected. "The martial duty of the male heir is to impregnate his wife, and mine as a future wife will be to birth the male heir's offspring and wish for it to be a boy."
"And suddenly sex doesn't sound so fun anymore." Edgar murmured against the bare skin of her neck, his breath warm.
Why doesnโt it feel good? She pushed him weakly away.
"You can have sex with Regulus and tell me if it is fun since he fascinates you so much that you think of him even now when you are here with your cock inside of me."
"Or to save mine and his time, you can share with the class about your own experience." He poked his tongue in his cheek.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows judgmentally.
"I can't help being intrigued." Edgar brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.
She only rolled her hips in response after he forgot to thrust anymore.
"You, my handsome, are forgetting to work more with your hips and less with your lips."
"It's not fair that you told me that it happened but didn't tell me how it happened." He watched her avoid the topic like it was a fire and she was alcohol. "Or how it was." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
She scoffed, looking away, frustratedโor flustered.
"Then there is nothing to tell. Since when does sex need an explanation? Because it didn't need it when we closed the door of this toilet like fifteen minutes ago." Vivien whispered, leaning closer to Edgarโs and stroking them with hers to seduce him into shutting the fuck up.
"Not quite true." Bones pulled away, smirking smugly.
She gave up. She laid her head against the mirror behind her, hitting it weakly with the back of her skull, listening to Edgar's clownery.
"There is always a reason why we have sex. For example, now it's because you, my dear Fifi, came to me all flustered, grabbed me by my shirt before I even said hello, dragged me in here, and asked me to fuck the life out of you after you had spent two whole months with Black."
"I also wished you a happy birthday." Vi mentioned between the hits.
"Now what I am trying to find out is why you want so badly to shag."
Vivien squinted her eyes at Edgar pointedly, like a dragger to keep him at knifepoint so he would shut the fuck up.
He didnโt, "Is it because you are frustrated after spending two months with Black or because you are frustrated after spending two months with Black and not shagging him?"
Edgar squinted his eyes at her too but it was more of a joyful expressionโhe was enjoying pissing her off.
"Fine, you are done, Eddie." She laughed, patting his shoulder.
He could see how her eyes shone like gold at the thought. Damn that foxy girl!
"I've never seen you so embarrassed before." His smile stretched into a toothy grin because now he knew everything he needed to know.
She had shagged Regulus Black once again!
"Do I look embarrassed to you?" Vivien chuckled, unaware that her eyes revealed him the truth.
"No, and that's exactly the point. You are playing it off with confidence. Even though you are good at avoiding, you are not so good at lying." He would tease her more if it wasn't for a knock.
His head snapped in the direction of the door.
"What?!" Vivien groaned loudly, very annoyed.
"Beauchรชne, are you in there with someone?!" Male voice grumbled.
"Sadly no. Just me, my pee, and the demon of the witch that possessed me." She counted her companion on her fingers.
"You two would drown in your piss by now."
Vivien and Edgar shared a look.
"I'm pulling out." He whispered.
"You're definitely pulling out." Vivien nodded her head slowlyโbored to her bones.
Once they parted, Edgar was the first to correct his appearance in that tiny bathroom. He stood leaning his shoulder against the wall, studying Vivien. She was brushing her hair with her fingers, focused on her reflection in the mirror. She felt observed but she didn't gaze back at her observer.
"What are you waiting for?" She asked, re-doing her ribbons that tied two half-up-half-down ponytails on her head.
"I don't have my wand with me."
"You surely have one in your pants." Vivien stated.
Edgar had to choke his lively laugh down. She smiled at his bright beam.
Edgar Bones was always making everyone smile. His sunniness and lightness was contagious.
"What I meant is that I cannot teleportate from here without my wand, but I cannot come out of here with you, Fifi. Who would I be if I got caught coming out of the bathroom with a married-to-be woman? It would stain my lady's honour." Edgar sneaked his big hands around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. He looked at her with puppy-like round eyes.
She shut her lips in a tight line for a moment.
"We have to stop this. I mean having sex. No more sex. No more friends having sex." She spoke out quietly.
Edgar nodded his head in understanding. He was surprised that Fifi wanted to have sex right then and there at all. And he knew it was cocky behaviour to accept her offer to begin with, but he had a soft spot for her and her provocations.
"And I will understand if you decide to 'no more friends' at all, Eddie." She added even quieterโnearly it wasnโt even a whisper, her tone so timorous.
Edgarโs blonde brows knitted together. Vivien pretended to keep brushing her brushed hair when his eyes tried to maintain contact with hers. He snorted against her neck, which caused her to chew on her lip nervously, creeps washing down her skin like a cold shower.
"Fifi, you once said you are rain to my sun and together we are a rainbow when we were high. I don't think I can find another friend like this anywhere ever again. I don't want to find it anywhere else ever again. Why would I, if I have the one and only?" He murmured into her ear.
Vivien felt her body ease. She smiled warmly, and he left a wet kiss on her neck.
"Now my little grey cloud, I really should leave. Which boot?"
"Right. I mean left, not right. I mean-I meant the left boot. You know what I meant by right, right?"
Vivien's boots were the only practical hiding spots for her unpractical outfits, consisting of miniskirts. Her go-go boots were the only place where her wand could fit.
Edgar crouched down, ebbing his fingers on the line of her leg.
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ย ย ย ย ย One knock too much thwacked and Vivien opened the door violently with a sharp hiss of metal scraping.
"Are you possessed?" She asked the knocker.
His eye twitched, while he glared at her and inside the bathroom.
It's some older Gryffindor, Vivien thought.
Behind him stood a line of other students, who studied Vivien up and down. She pushed past them, but the older Gryffindor didn't leave her question unanswered.
"No, I am not, but are you? Right, you are. Nevermind. This is a public toilet and you were there for almost half an hour!"
Vivien whipped around, her hair the whip.
"I would come out faster, if you didn't keep listening and talking to me inside there, you perv. It's stressful to pee in conditions like those." She folded her arms over her chest defensively.
"And the issue is not that you just shagged someone in there?"
Some teenagers cracked, but a younger Hufflepuff groaned.
"Merlin, I'm going to puke myself." He complained and pushed himself from the end of the line straight to the toilet.
Vivien raised her brow.
"Go to the bathroom?" She offered foolishly, rustling wind echoing in her head.
"I was waiting in line for one the whole time, you old hag."
"Fair." She pouted her lips, more thoughtful than before.
Gryffindor's eyes wandered along her figure until he looked into her eyes, an eyebrow quirking.
"Where did you lose younger Bones, Vivien? Oh, it's younger Black now, isn't it?" He land his back against the wall, arrogantly leaning.
"It was both, actually. I sucked them up between my legs. A new magic trick that a demonic witch taught me." Vivien gave him a shite-eating grin. "We can teach you. We will start with my feet going up your a-"
He smirked self-satisfied, clicking his tongue-
"Glad to hear you are doing great, Vivienne."
Vivien grinned joyfully, her teeth shining like pearls, while she felt a hand on her shoulder. Zahara approached her, and Vivien forgot immediately what mischief she was up to.
"I would love to hear more about the trick but I am looking for Edgar. Where is he?" Zaharaโs plucked eyebrows drew together, waiting for an answer.
"Somewhere, but who knows where?" Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
Zahara looked at her judgingly.
"You do. He went looking for you like an hour ago."
"No, he didn't."
"How would you know, if he didn't?"
"Because if he did, he would find me."
Zahara took a deep breath in and out, grasping Vivien's hands in hers, squeezing them gently.
"I am really glad to see you, amore mio, but I don't have time for this right now. Everyone wants to start the prefects' meeting for the past twenty minutes, and Edgar was supposed to say hello to you and be back."
"I swear, Maya, I don't know what you are suggesting, but you might mis-suggest things with what you are suggesting." Vivien says defensivelyโstupidly, her voice too innocent for her words to be the truth.
"I'm not playing with you right now." Zahara sighed tiredly, her eyes rolling but a small smile splitting her face out of amusement.
She turned away and began going back in the direction she came from.
"I'm just saying it will be for the best, if Edgar will be in prefects' car once I'm there."
Zahara could not see that but Vivien nodded her head in understanding anyway, only a bit bored.
"See you later?" She asked innocently, her fake faรงade of innocence an instance of virtue.
"See you later, foxy!" Zahra answered.
Vivien smiled sweetly. She could not see her face but she knew Zahara was smiling the same, if not more.
Zahara Yemaya Hassani had been Miss Beauchรชne's friend since their second year. These two girls had met at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, both skipping Potions at the same time at the same place that led them to shite-talking their Potions' partners. Since then, they had been girl-friends.
Vivien was left on her own once more and she looked around. The Gryffindor boy was gone. Vivien did the similar thingโleftโwith grace, she walked. She was swinging her hips, nose raised highly in the natural superiority of Beauchรชnes as she entered one of the opened cars. The pollution of evilness in the air was thick and suffocating. Or it was the dust because Slytherins didn't open a single window in their so-called car.
Vivien remembered now that Alecto Carrow wanted to bite her head off before and as she tried to, Vivien told her to sit the fuck down. One might describe her as desperately searching for Edgar in need, but not the one for blood that Alecto had.
"Look who is treating us with their presence again." Doyle Mulciber half-smiled, but it was a poisonous, venom dripping down his tongue with his low tone.
Doyle Mulciber, Cecil Avery, Severus Snape, and the Carrow twins sat together at two tables in the middle of the car. Perfectly so everyone can watch the shiteshow.
"Our favourite vitch." Amycus Carrow, Alecto's twin brother, snickered slyly.
Vivien grinned. She graciously made her way through the car, her hips still swinging. As she wanted to slip by their tables, Doyle stretched out his arm, blocking the further way. She looked at him and they shared not-so-sincere sarcastic smiles. She could feel all the glares bolting at her.
"Already leaving us, Beauchรชne? Can't be! We didn't have a chance to enjoy your priceless company." Avery's lips twisted as lovely as his best friend's had. "Time isn't running out for you. Not yet."
"With the smell in here, yours might be." Vivien chuckled, cheeky, her cheeks full. "My presence might be priceless but yours is not. I estimate it to be around..." She pretended to think, tapping her pointer fingertip on her chin. She glanced between them all. "Shiteless, and I don't trust anything that is this price. Now excuse me, but I have a place to be and this shitehole of yours is not one of them." She gestured with her hands towards the exit, her shite-eating grin stuck to her face.
Slytherins raised their brows at her. Alecto stood up with a fake sweet smile plastered to her lips.
"Is your presence really so priceless when you get shagged all the time?" She tilted her head daringly, her icy glare trying to freeze Vivien with its coldness.
"You can say a number, darling, and I will think about it if that's what you ask about. For those beautiful soulless eyes of yours, I might give you that discount, Alecto. But I prefer fuck rather than 'get shagged '." Vivien looked through her lashes.
It was theatrical, but she liked to act out comedies.
Carrow giggled and glanced around at her four friends, who cracked too, their laughter sharp, loudโa little too maniacal to be true, forced.
"Does Regulus like your filthy mouth, Vivien?" Cecil asked, his dark eyes sparking with fire along the lines of her figure, causing her face to grimace.
"I bet he likes the fullness of them around his cock." Doyle joked crudely, making his friends laugh even louder.
"I think he enjoys the moment of silence when she is too occupied to speak." Severus muttered, not interested in the topic as he looked outside the window in melancholy. He appeared as much drowning in blue as usual.
"Well said, Sev." Alecto agreed, glancing at an uninterested Snape and then back at Vivien.
Vivien eyebrows lowered in a frown. She pointed her sharp nail at the group of five.
"Are you all jealous because you want to have sex with Regulus? If this is the problem, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Regulus appreciates that I'm lively. Or alive at all actually."
She cringed at the sight of the Slytherins, her face stirred with distaste, studying them up and down. Why do they all look dead? It's because everyone here is related, isn't it?
"Does Regulus appreciate ordinary whoriness in bed, skank?" Alecto spat out her spiteโlike Vivien was dirty on the sole of her shoe, her tone crossing her arms over her chest.
"I don't knowโyou tell meโdoes he?" Vivien mocked Carrow, whose face brewed red from rage. "I think your four boyfriends might-"
"I'm her brother."
Vivien squinted her eyes between Carrows like arrows.
"Sorry. I've never realised it was two different things in the pure-blood's culture."
Someone somewhere cackled out loud like a toad. Even though Vivien recognised Evan Rosier's laugh perfectly, she ignored it.
"Your boyfriends might not be jealous, but it seems to me you are, Alecto, sweetheart. Is it because you wanted Regulus to fuck you but instead he ran away, or he did like you wanted, but then he ran away and never came back?" Vivien ridiculed Alecto, words sweet on her tongue-
There was a change in Alectoโs demeanor. Silver flickered in her bluish eyes. She smiled innocently, her face quivering fakely.
"I don't knowโyou tell me." She teased, leaning closer to Vivien's ear, her words stroking its edge. "Have me and Reggie shagged?" She whispered, tickling her with her breath. "I love the birthmark on his right thigh. The shape of it reminds me of a kneazle with a tail up. What do you think, Vi?"
Vivien backed away defensively. She stared into her eyes, their faces separated by inches. Vivien felt this strange stabbing sensation in her heart that made her want to rip the hair off of Alecto's head and then off of Regulus'.
Instead, she only tilted her head, accepting the challenge, bittersweet taste brewing in her belly to her tongue.
"Yeah, I like it, too. And it does look like it." I have no fucking clue what birthmark are you talking about, you shadow-brained creature!
Still she nods her head softly in agreement.
"Though I like the moles on his chest and the freckles on his back much more personally. I think they are cute." Miss Beauchรชne moved closer to the other girl 's ear, speaking longingly with pleasure into it.
"Oh, but the thing I like the most about Reggie is the pathetic way he tries to get into my panties with his words, even if he is in them already. Or how he tries to prove himself and deserves some praise so piteous. But the best is the way he plays with his mouth on my skin and-" She could not stop herself from looking deeply into Alectoโs eyes with her wild ones. She was so red in her face, Vivien could feel her boiling against her skin.
"And the way he squeezes on my body, moaning, pleasured because he wants even more. He can be addictive, can't he?" She giggled, humoured.
"I guess you wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Little Black is a needy slut, and it's alright that you can't handle him. He's not for everyone but I can take proper care of such an attentive little slut that Regulus is."
Vivien was triumphing monumentally. She might had spoken a little louder than she intended to, hearing Severus hit his forehead rapidly against the window. Amycus choked on his pumpkin juice. Doyle shared a look with Cecilโthe two of them petrified at the thought of Regulus Arcturus 'little prude' Black being a little needy slut for attention.
"And here is my sister-in-law in her true form." Everyone snapped like broken wands in the direction of one and onlyโSirius. He was leaning against the doorframe, grinning foolishly.
In theory, Sirius came from old money, like most Slytherins. In practice, he didn't fit in the car with his black leather jacket, beatle boots and denim jeans.
"Hello, deceased friends!" He took a deep breath like he wanted to smell a fresh breeze only to cough, his eyes widening. "What a-a beautiful smell! It matches the house theme." He choked out.
"Get out of here, you prick!" Someone shouted.
Slytherins didnโt appreciate Siriusโ presence in their so-called car.
"Shush, you all! I'm here looking for-" Sirius locked eyes with Vivian, his flickering. "You, my breathtaking beauty."
Vivien smiled sweetly at him, gritting her teeth so tightly she could feel them. He won't charm his way out of this.
"I wish I could take the credit for stealing your breath but it's simply the air in this shithole."
"Right," Sirius tipped his head. "Let's get out of here, ma belle."
Vivien blinked at him before she looked back at the Slytherins, bowing in front of them theatrically.
"Your pleasure isn't mine. Don't miss me too much when I'm gone."
She turned towards where Sirius was awaiting her.
She heard Alecto's silent Slag!, while she walked away, happily swinging her hips.
"Sorry, I didn't know you changed your name. It suits you well." Vivien didn't bother to look at her, bored.
But she winked as she pushed past two friendly faces that welcomed her. Evan Rosier waved at her and Pandora Malfoy sent her an air kiss.
Vivien hurried past Sirius, waiting for him to close the door. Once he turned to see her, overjoyed, she smacked him in the face before he could say something stupid like he always had. He bounced like a puffskein against the wall.
"Bloody hell!"
There were a few witnesses in the hallway to see the scene until they returned to their compartments to hide.
The door of the closest room opened, and Remusโ head stuck out. He catched a glimpse of Sirius and Vivien staring at him.
Black tried to remember what had happened but it happened too fast for him to register. He was holding his cheek in his hand, glancing at Vivien in front of him, startled, his eyes round innocently.
"Merlin's beard." He mumbled out.
Vivien folded her arms over her chest.
"What was that, Moony?" She heard Pete's voice.
Under Lupinโs grew another headโJamie's.
Sirius was still in his usual clothes but James was wearing his school uniform like Remusโlike a prefect. Potter slowly, meticulously studied what he saw. He turned his head towards the inside of the compartment, sharing his brilliant observation.
"I think Vivien hit Sirius and he hit the wall."
"I guess it answers the question, if Vivien got the letter."
Vivien heard Peter muse. She smirked in disbelief at the audacity, her stomach twisting.
"You think so, Ratty?" She asked bitterly, feeling betrayed.
No more wise words came from Peter.
She looked between the three self-called Marauders. Sirius was pathetically leaning against the wall, his head dropped. James lowered his face, hiding it from his childhood best friend.
Only Remus had the courage to face Vivien. His thick brows and warm brown eyes treated her kindly. It's fake.
"Vivien, please. Can we talk in private?" He asked, causing her to snort in disbelief.
"Oh, so you are familiar with the term privacy? I wouldn't fucking guess." Her lips twisted, her eye twitching, while her emotions had already gotten the best of her, not thinking rationally.
"If you want to talk, talk." She demanded.
"I'm not sure if that's what you really want." Peter poked his head out.
"Don't fucking tell me what I want!" Vivien glared at him, her eyes disastrous and catastrophic, shaking like an earthquake. If a look could kill, this one would demolish, slaughter and butcher.
Peter pressed his lips into a thin line. She scoffed furiously, glaring between her other friends.
"Fucking look at me, you idiots!" She scolded.
They act like children!, the Marauders did as they were told. None of them knew what to say, where to begin or how to end because there were no words that could fix how much they messed up.
None of them was on speaking terms with Vivien but they all wanted to say something to herโand once the time to say something arrived, there was nothing to come out of their big mouths.
Sirius moved his hand away from his face. He inhaled a deep breath.
"Vivien, don't get mad at them. If you got the letter from Marls, you know what happend." He exhaled a mumble, looking at Vivien with a face of regret and guilt written all over itโsoft. "You already know it was all me." He confessed.
Vivien dug her nails into her arms.
"Yes, Sirius, I know it was all you to spy on me and it was all you who couldn't shut the fuck up for once in your life. But I also know it was you all to try and fool me after you humiliated me and made me the butt of a stupid pathetic joke. It was you all that tried to fool me and act like my friends!"
Alice pushed through the boys, leaving the compartmentโher and Mary's hiding spot, touched by those words.
"Vivien, we acted like your friends because we are your friends, even if you don't believe in it." She assured, reaching to grasp her hand.
Vivien dodged it. Forescure made her snort straight into her face.
"Please, think before you speak."
"Excuse me?" Stupefied, Alice opened her mouth, her jaw slack.ย
"Why don't we-"
"You're not excused, Alice!" Vivien pointed her finger at her and everyone else, ignoring Remusโ attempt to put out her fire. "You all lied to me because you are my friends? If you all were my friends, you would know me enough to know that I would prefer to know the truth than to be lied to."
"It was my fault once again. I told everyone I would tell you when it was the right moment but the longer I waited, the less it felt like the right moment. And Regulus took the blame on himself, and you were sooo-" Sirius hesitated, his faรงade cracking in confusion.
Vivien watched him glance at everyone else out of the corner of his eyes. She didn't understand what he held back, though everyone else appeared to understand.
"Hurt?" He said, careful to choose his words. "I mean, yes. You were hurt-"
Vivien felt something was left untold that thickened the air around her. She didn't know what it was. She never understood why people didn't say exactly what they meant, and she didn't always catch what was unsaid before it vanished like a bursting bubble.
"And I didn't want to hurt you more."
Vivien scowled, sick to her stomach.
"I don't give a fuck about how badly you felt after seeing me hurt, when you were the one to hurt me! I care about the fact that you didn't think I deserved the dignity of knowing the truth! I did deserve the truth! And the truth is that you humiliated me for your fun!" Vivien's blood boiled in her veins alive, her cheeks red with anger.
Her fury was gutting her from the inside out, her hands gesticulating aggressively.
"The truth is, you stood there hiding behind a wall and fucking listening. What the fuck!" She shouted at him.
What Sirius, Marlene, and Remus had done disgusted Vivienโinvading anyone's privacy and personal moments like it was their own.
"You stood there and listened to me talking with-with-"
Mary stuck her head out of the room, biting her bottom lip. She rested her cheek against Peter's. They all listened to what Vivien would call Regulus, intrigued. What was he to her?
"With your brother? What the actual fuck did you want to hear?!"
"Definitely less than I did and half of it wasn't even words." Sirius cried out desperately.
"This is not a joke, Padfoot." Remus murmured, rubbing his face tiredly, knowing Sirius was effectively making everything worse.
"It is not! It's been haunting me since then." Black had eyes of horror at the memoryโwide open.
"Oh, I'm sorry that you went through it, you fucking idiot! If there was just any way to avoid it!"
"It was you two that chose that stupid corridor, which by the way is public, mon mignon. Anyone could hear you and it wouldn't be that hard for them to hide it because you and my brother were too into sucking each otherโs face. If the castle fell apart on your heads, you wouldn't notice." He cringed.
"I'm sorry, but this whole situation is absurd to me. I mean I'm not surprised that this little brat wouldn't shag with anyone other than you and die a virgin. I'm shocked that he won't die a virgin because you actually shagged him."
"For Merlin's sake! Can we stop mentioning this particular part?" James groaned, throwing his head and coming closer to the window. He looked outside it with melancholy, remembering the times when he hadn't been aware of his Vivien being intimate with Sirius' younger brotherโthe Regulus Black.
"I'm afraid you are not helping, Padfoot." Peter added, whincing.
"To make it the simplest possible for your shite-of-the-brain, if you received a personal letter and read it in the Great Hall, and I decided to stand behind you and read it, you are the one to blame for reading it in public by your logic!" Vivien stabbed her nail in Siriusโ chest repeatedly.
"Yes, it was a public place! We fucking get it! I made out with Regulus Arcturus fucking Black in a public place!, and anyone could witness it, but it wasn't anyone! It was you twoโSirius and Remusโwith Marlene, after youโSiriusโdecided with her to spy on me. You followed me with Marlene! And after you caught me with Regulus, you decided to stay to listen!"
Sirius frowned with his whole face.
"Are you mad because we eavesdropped on your little dirty talk? For what it's worth, it wasn't bad. It was promising on your half and impressive on the little prude's half. Mother definitely wouldn't approve."
"Oh my god." Mary whispered under her breath.
"You really don't understand, do you?! Even now, you try to joke your way out of this!" Vivien raised her tone, desperate to be heard.
Sirius was trying to play it off as a silly joke. He wasn't good at owning up to the consequences of his own actions.
"No, I don't. Why does it matter whether we heard it or not? It's not like you didn't say anything dirty to us before, Viva." He contradicted, playfully wiggling his eyebrows.
"Did it ever occur to you that I was fine with that, Black? That I was comfortable saying something out loud and letting you hear it, you fucking idiot?!"
Vivien slammed a fist against her forehead, her face grimacedโin disgust, desperation, and hurt.
"What I said to your brother was meant for Regulus and Regulus only! I had one thing for myself and you didn't respect it. You took it from me and destroyed it!" She looked around at everyone. "So we have clarityโdid he or did he not repeat my words I shared with Regulus?"
Everyone glanced at Sirius, guilty.
"Of-fucking-course!" Vivien shook her head.
"You never mentioned you gave Regulus a time of your day, Vivien. We really didn't realise how much this whole secret meant for you." Mary tried to argue.
"What do you mean you didn't know how much this whole secret meant for me, Mary? You said it yourselfโa secret. It was the secret! My fucking secret and only mine! You didn't have any right to it and you abused it like it was your privilege because you feel so entitled to everything you come across! The truth is that everything all of you ever touch always ends broken, once you let go of it!"
Vivien wasn't even angry anymore. She was disappointed. It felt like someone had crushed her soul. She slowly gave up, downhearted and disappointed. Her heart flopping and plopping in the pity sea.
"Vivien, you don't mean it." Alice tried to soothe her, lying her hand on her shoulderโthis time successfully.
It disappointed Vivien. They all wanted to talk it out peacefully, trying to convince her that it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't for themโthey weren't the victims of the joke that was created out of that mess. It was easy for them to expect someone else to forgive and forget.
The worst feeling was that they took Sirius' side and patted him on the shoulder, while Vivien felt so fucking lonely through it. She didn't even realise when sour tears gathered in her eyes, prickling at corners.
"I fucking do! I swear to Merlin upon my family's graves and on my own fucking life, I hate you all with passion!" She shouted at them, eyes twitching, a first tear escaping.
"None of you are even sorry! You care that I make a scene and want me to keep it quiet, but I don't want to! You are not sorry that you violated the boundaries I expected you to respect and destroyed something important to me! You are only sorry because I caught you lying to me! You are not friends of mine and never were, were you? The worst is that none of you meant harm but made a lot of it." She laughed bitterly. "If I cannot have you like me enough to treat me like a fucking human being that I am, I will have you stressed enough to respect me! I'm fucking done with trying to be liked by you!"
Vivien rushed, nudging James with an elbow on her way after yanking her shoulder from Alice. Potter instantly followed after her.
Mary shook her head at Sirius, scoffing silently. Alice and Peter shared a look. He threw his head back with a quiet groan and she lowered her face. She played with the hem of her shift dress in an intense pink colour that matched her blushed cheek out of embarrassment. Sirius hid his face in his hands while leaning against that stupid wall.
"You stay here." Remus told them, going after Vivien and James.
Vivien only wanted to hide in a compartment with her brothers, but she heard the steps echoing after her, James stretching after her like a shadow.
"Vivien, please just-just don't leave, alright? We all know we fucked up, and I know you will need time to forgive us, but we can talk it through and figure out how we can make it all better."
She turned around to face James, snorting madly.
"I will need time to forgive you what exactly? None of you even apologised to me! For a fact, none of you nearly even spoke at all! You let Sirius speak, and if what he said is what you all wanted to let me know, then I'm let-known. Honestly, fuck this! If this is how you treat a friend, please fucking hate me because I swear it is easier to survive your pathetic pranks than to tolerate how naturally shallow and stupid you are."
Lily and other prefects peeped out of their carriage, awaiting Potter and Lupin who were running late. Instead Vivien acted loud as usual.
"You are so self-righteous that you think you are entitled to my forgiveness but you are not, James! No one expected Remus to forgive Sirius for abusing his boundaries. How come you made me into a fool and you act like I am overreacting?! Maybe it's you who are underreacting! You are not the one to decide how much damage you did to someone! There is nothing chivalrous about you! You are cowards and liars! The only thing you have is a nerve!"
Vivien whipped away from Potterโand after that everything happened so fast.
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ย ย ย ย ย Marlene McKinnon sneaked onto the scene with Emmeline Vance. She was not sure if she had the courage to face Vivien, so she stood in the background, watching the scene with other prefects.
"When you say a bathroom, do you mean the one three carriages away that I saw you leave about thirty minutes ago or so?" Zahara glanced out of the corners of her eyes with Vivien, her eyebrows raising strictly.
Vivien looked away with blank eyes somewhere like she was thinking about her answer that she proved to be a wrong assumption, simply nodding her head.
"Yeah, exactly that one." She said carelessly.
"That bathroom is the reason why you were late or why you were late?" Dorcas furrowed her eyebrows, pointing her finger between Regulus and Edgar.
Edgar and Regulus came late to the prefect meeting. Regulus was first there, excusing himself because he had been fighting his demons in the bathroom. Edgar came a few minutes later, claiming there was a long line to one of the bathrooms because someoneโwho was not himโwas shagging in there.
Edgar put up his hands as a sign of innocence. "Don't point at me."
Regulus rolled his eyes under everyone's eyes directed at him. Fucking Bones! Regulus knew he was up to no good with how, coming late, not dressed in his uniform! And he took Vivien to the bathroom! Prick...
Vivien glanced at Regulus innocently when he obviously learnt she had done dirty things barely half an hour ago with another boy.
"I was shitting actually." She said it half-heartedly. Boring! Next question.
"You mean shagging, foxy?" Barty raised his brow at her.
"Yes, your dad." She smirked sarcastically with a hum.
"At least not mine this time." Regulus chuckled, trying to forget she had fucked another boy moments ago.
It wasn't like she didn't have a right to do so, but it still stung to know she had used that right.
Vivien giggled at the inside joke, making everyone doubt the quality of their hearing.
Vivien laughed at some meaningful joke that left Regulus' mouth? Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne had an inside joke with Regulus Arctulus Black?
Vi felt Black's fingers skim past the skin of her hand, and she gazed at him. He pointed his head to the back.
"Come on. We're leaving, Viโฆ vien." He corrected himself hurriedly but not soon enough, looks on him already becoming intenser, everyone's ears heating up at the slip of his tongue.
Zahara's arms around Vivien unlooped loosely, surprised, her lips parting subtly. She felt this thick and unbreakable tension between Vivien and little prudeโVivien genuinely wanted to leave with Regulus Black.
Regulus and Vivien were about to walk until they turned around and she sighed dramatically at the sight of Marlene hiding in the back. Marleneโs hair turned orange in shame.
"Vivien," She said with a pleading tone, her features soft. "Please. Can we talk?"
Vivien rushed past her with a scoff, but overall ignoring her. Regulus did the same but she caught them by their wrists to stop Vivien.
"Vivien..." Marlene pleaded more.
Vivien and Regulus looked over their shoulders at her, and it made Vivien livid. The express shook, hit with the monstrous force of the wind. Everyone rocked slightly, watching Vivien attentively, her eye twitching, her teeth gritted, her jaw clenched with a muscle jumping.
"Did you just fucking touch him?! Not only do you feel entitled to me, but now you also think you are entitled to Regulus?! You have done enough for us! Vivien me again, and I will make it the last time. Talk with someone who gives a fuck, you backstabbing cunt. You can self-pity with Sirius. Now, let go!"
Marlene's grip tightened on Vivien's wrist, her hair changing to red in anger.
"You are out of line." She warned, her lips twisting.
"I don't give a single shite about your line, the same way you didn't about mine." Vivien gritted through her teeth and the force rocked them all once more.
"I said-"
"Let go." Regulus said dryly, staring at Marlene.
She looked at him and back at furious Vivien. Vivien felt her heart thudding in rage but Marlene did as she was told and let go. Still they kept glaring at each other, their faces twisting.
"Vi," Regulus leaned closer to her, whispering, his lips nearly stroking the edge of her ear. "You wanted to leave. Let's leave." His tone was calming to her, tender and caring.
She gazed at him, her eyes lingering. She nodded and tangled her fingers with his. It took him by the same surprise as everyone else.
Vivien Beauchรชne protective of Regulus Black! What the fuck! Everyone's jaws slammed. Not Bartyโs, Edgarโs, Remusโ or Lilyโs.
Vi held Regulus' hand, when on her fourth finger rested a ring. It stood outโit was not rose-gold like the rest of her jewellery. It was a silver band with a green stone. Vivien did not care to take a note on surprised stares. She walked away with Regulus, who did not look back either.
They abandoned that damned car and walked through the prefect's emptied one until they entered another one, where they left Vivien's brothers. It was unbothered, the shite that went down in the rest of the expressway never reaching this carriage.
Regulus stopped in a hallway, alone with Vivien, the quietness of it pacifying.She stopped, looking at him.
"What?" Her eyebrows furrowed together.
Regulus tilted his head, holding their hands up.
"You are holding me."
Vivien's eyebrows furrowed tighter, her heart aching.
"Sorry. I didn't know you mind."
She was about to untangle her fingers from Regulus' but he stopped her by squeezing her hand slightly.
"Because I don't." He smiled, his sweet dimples showing. "I didn't mean it the wrong way. I only didn't expect you to do it in front of other people."
Vivien tilted her head. She took a step closer towards Regulus. "Why not?"
He shrugged his shoulders. They were standing very close to each other, and he was towering over her. She was gazing up at him purely, like truly, her eyes big and flickering. Her eyes darkened, her pupils dialatingโjust the same as his out of their heart skipping to the same pulse of hormonesโwild, untamed, and uncaged.
"We are friends and that's how friends act, right? They are not scared of being seen together being friends, aren't they?"
Regulus' heart melted at how warming Vi was.
"They aren't."
He leaned towards her and brushed his lips against hers. She squeezed his hand, and he felt how she smiled against his lips. She kissed him softly back. It was a short and simple kiss. When young Mister Black pulled away from Miss Beauchรชne, she was beaming lightly.
"What did I do?" She questioned why she deserved such a gift from Regulus.
"Just being you." He answered.
"Could you repeat?" She smiled warmer.
"Just being you."
Vivien shook her head, giggling sweetly.
"No, doll. I meant the kiss. Could you repeat that kiss, Regulus?"
Regulus smiled and his dimples craved in his cheeks deeplyโprominently like on a sculpture. He leaned and kissed her slowly again.
"Oh, for the love of Merlin! Gross!" Rosaire Beauchรชne groaned, grimacing. His hand dropped with a slap against his thighs.
He wanted to go to the bathroom! and the first image he sees in the empty hallway is his big sister snogging with Regulus Black! DISGUSTING!
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Chapter 3: may 3rd
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The interrogation room was a small room with nothing but a wooden table right in the middle and two chairs on opposite sides of it. Sixteen-year-old Vivien sat on one of them, waiting impatiently for Mister Prewett, her foot tapping until Gideon Prewett entered the room and longer. He didn't waste time and took a seat in front of Vivien. She looked at him, bored. He seemed put together.
"Do you like Celestina Warbeck, Vivien?" He wondered out loud, hearing the sounds that she was tapping.
"No, my ma and grandma do." Vivien collapsed in her chair messily, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Mine too." Auror chuckled. "By the way, how is your mother?"
"You tell me, Gideon. You talked to herโhow is she?"
"She seems alright-"
"But a little witless." Vivien uttered under her nose, rolling her eyes to emphasise.
"Yes. Is she drinking again?"
"Depends on what you understand by it, Gideon. My mother is drinking a lot of painkilling potions, but I would consider it predictable for someone who has been stabbed multiple times." She smiled sarcastically, her nose wrinkling. "Was I escorted here for a chit-chat? For that you could send an owl with an invitation. I'm always happy to see an old friend, Gideon."
"Right. Excuse my lack of manners. I don't need to introduce myself as we already know each otherโis that correct, Vivien?"
"Very."
"Before we start, I want to make things clear, Vivien. You came here voluntarily. Your mother didn't agree for your brothers to be questioned, but since you are sixteenโit was your right to decide about yourself. You are here to answer a few questions to help us understand better. You are not suspected of anything. You are here because you agreed to, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable, we can take a break or finishโor you are even allowed to leave. Do you understand it, Vivien?"
"Yes."
"And you have a right to know that a wall on your left is charmed. It's see-through but only for people standing on the other side of it. Now there's Fabian behind it. He's there with Yosef Shacklebolt and Alastor Moody, whom I believe you also know. They are there with a nice lady. who will be there the whole time to note every word you and I say."
Vivien faced the wall with a sweet smile and waved her hand softly.
"I love an audienceโespecially a tough one."
She turned back to Gideon with her shite-eating smile. He chuckled.
"Sorry. I just can't believe in how little you changed."
"I don't like to disappoint."
"Obviously." His chuckle dragged on. "We are here to talk about May the second. Or in your case the third. I will ask about your family and anything suspicious from that day. Is it alright?"
"Yes, it is."
"So let's start simpleโdo you remember something unusual from May the third, Vivien?"'
Simple?, she snorted internally at the ignorant choice of words.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien could not sleep the whole night. She had this sick tightening feeling in her stomach.
Emmeline kept sending objects flying towards her laying in bed. A small pillow, a pair of socks curled into a ball, two different books and a tube of mascara. It made Vivien get out of her bed as she sat in front of a cheval glass that stood in a corner of the girls' dormitory, her head buzzing with anxiety. She tried to stop Emma from catapulting her more. It wasn't even lateโbreakfast barely began.
Vivien was doing her hair in her favourite style. She bushed her hair in two half-up-half-down ponytails and tied them with ribbon bows in baby pink colour, leaving a few strands at front to frame her face. She felt really tired after that, like she played a quidditch match and not styled her hair.
On Sybill Trelawneyโs little face a sad smile molded that Vivien saw in the mirror before Sybill left.
Her roommates weren't blindโthey noticed that Vivien felt bad. In female solidarity, they felt bad too. They simply had different methods to show it.
Pandora stepped behind Vivien, putting a hand on her shoulder. She squeezed it supportively. She opened her mouth to say something but a sudden knock on a door stopped her. Emmeline, who was packing her bag on her bed, approached the dorm door and opened it.
"Professor Flitwick?" Emmeline sounded stupefied. She shared a glance with Pandora.
Vivien ignored her roommates and marched to the doorway. Professor Flitwick appeared low-spirited. He tried to smile but it was a woeful gesture, his face fallen.
"Miss Beauchรชne," He choked out, even if certainly he didnโt mean to.
Vivien shut her eyes, taking a deep breath in and out before asking briefly, "When? Who? H-how?"
Her voice trembled.
"We can talk in the headmaster's office, Vivien. Professor Dumbledore awaits us."
Vivien quickly slipped on her converse, wearing a pyjama set together. It was long bottoms and a button-up shirt with a floral pattern in pastel colours. It was not appropriate to get out of the dormitory, but Vivien couldn't care less about what was appropriate.
Vivien and Professor Flitwick passed students, marching to the headmaster's office. She could feel the intrigued glances they took of her. They had to think she got herself into some serious trouble as she walked in a pyjama set with the head of her house at seven in the morning.
Vivien tremored.
Once she and Flitwick entered the office, they saw Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. She stood in place with her head lowered and he paced slowly back and forth. They were quiet-
"Miss Beauchรชne, Filius. Please, come closer."
Vivien did as she was told, her legs weak like they were made out of cotton.
"With all due respect, Professors, I need to know what happened right now." Vivien said seriously, not playing a game of courtesies, her throat aching.
"Of course." McGonagall approached her, her tone silent and sad, her features soft.
Dumbledore took Vivienโs hands in his carefully.
"I deeply regret to inform you that last night there was an attack, Vivien. It was on your family." He began and Vivien could feel McGonagall place her hand on her shoulder. She only nodded, listening, but she felt blood run cold in her veins. "I was informed this morning in a letter from the Ministry. Unknown perpetrators stormed into your family's residence around eleven last night. Mister Shacklebolt claims that they took your family by surprise, while they were in their beds. Without a doubt it was planned. Attackers had to destroy protective barriers around your home unnoticed and break inside the house unheard. I'm sorry to tell you this, dear child, but your grandparents were gone before any auror arrived on the scene. One of your house elves, Poe, didn't survive. But the other two did and they were the ones to alarm the Ministry about the attack. It was thanks to Poe's and Philippe's help. Unfortunately, Philippe didn't survive either. When aurors showed up at your home, they found your little brother Aiden. He was brutally beaten, crying in your parents' bedroom after he found your unconscious mother in their bed. Your mother is alive but she hasn't woken and her condition is critical. Intruders also have killed most of your family farm. Only a very few pets got to live."
Vivien's stomach tightened. She felt sour nausea on her tongue, and her body tremoring.
"Do you need a break, Vivien?" McGonagall squeezed her shoulder but she shook her head erratically. She felt like she could not speak or she would puke opening her mouth.
"You should sit down." Flitwick suggested politely, looking at her gently.
"I should not." Vivien snapped, staring at Dumbledore. "It isn't all, is it?"
"Your father-" The headmaster continued with a heavy sigh, looking into her eyes. "He was supposed to report back to Alastor Moody a week ago about his progress. He never did that. Alastor found your father's safe house. It was burglarised. All the records and notes your father has written and kept are gone. All his belongings were left but they were torn apart. And there were blood traces on the scene. It was Jean-Claude Beauchรชne's blood. He was officially declared missing yesterday. But you should know that, based on all the evidence, your father fought dearly for his life and the Ministry won't stop looking for him. He is believed to be alive until itโs proven he isnโt."
Vivien thought it was the end, her stomach twisting, her throat hurting.
But Dumbledore spoke again.
"And dear child, I was also informed that there was a leak. From early morning today on, anyone can read about the attack on your family in the Daily Prophet. A person behind it will be found and punished but for now everything is being investigated."
Vivien looked between the adults, franticโferal like an abashed animal, her heart breaking.
"I have to tell my brothers before owls fly with mail!" She cried out, her hand on her heart crumpling the pyjama material in her fist. She felt her heart beating so intensely, trying to break out of her chest.
"Vivien, we can inform your brothers." McGonagall assured, squeezing her shoulder again.
"It's for the best if you take a break." Flitwick agreed, his tone steady.
Vivien disregarded her panic, snatching her shoulder from McGonagall, hurrying.
"Forgive me, Professors, but I know what's best for me and especially for my brothers. My brothers deserve to hear it from me. They need to hear it from me." She disappeared behind a door of the office.
Vivien ran through the corridors of a castle, stopping only at a large doorway of the Great Hall. It was breakfast, the hall was full. Her lungs and throat were fighting for air, breathing became heavyโhard.
Vivien panted, flaring through her nose like a dragon. She swallowed, entering the hall. She walked straight.
"Vivien?" Em called after her after she and Sybie saw her.
They got ignored.
Vivien came to Theodore Beauchรชne at the Hufflepuff's table. She touched his arm. He looked at her over his shoulder and she gestured to follow. Teddy didn't question his older sister. He stood up and loomed after her like a grey cloud. She turned towards the Gryffindor table, her eyes searching for Ambroise and Rosaire Beauchรชne, who were always together. She found them and dragged her feet towards them. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Hestia Jones whispered something to them before abandoning them to give the siblings space.
Bambi and Rosie turned on a bench towards their older sister. They glanced at each other from the corners of their eyes, worried about Vivien's poor appearance. They glanced at Teddy, who only shrugged his shoulders.
"We have to talk." Vivien murmured, her throat sore.
"Alrightโฆ?"
Was it a good idea to have 'half of the family is dead' talk in the Great Hall at the busiest moment of breakfast? Absolutely not, but Vivien was too shocked by the news Dumbledore brought to figure it out herself. She licked her dry lips.
"Teddy sit." She said, her eyes gesturing at a bench beside their other brothers.
All three brothers saw McGonagall and Flitwick making their way towards them but they didn't pay a single sickle of attention to them since their sister didn't.
Vivien crouched down in front of them.
McGonagall and Flitwick observed Vivien's body trembling. They stood a few feet away to give the siblings space. Vivien was telling her brothers the truth quietly. She took Rosaire's and Teddyโs hands in hers to play with them nervously. She finished and Rosaire threw himself into her arms, sobbing out loud. Teddy wiped his eyes, bringing himself to embrace her too.
She held her younger brothers protectively like someone was about to try and steal them from her. She kissed their temples. She looked up at Ambroise. He was sniffing, his eyes glassy like a cracked glass. She gestured for him to come closer. Once Ambroise hugged her, Vivien left a kiss on his forehead.
All Vivien knew was that soon owls went flying everywhere, dropping mail on the tables.
McGonagall and Flitwick smiled sadly.
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ย ย ย ย ย "No, I didn't notice anything suspicious. I might remind you that I was at school. I don't think a single of the students went out the night before for a party in my home to kill Philippe, my grandparents or Poe. Though I guess it wouldn't be so hard to outtrick the Department of Law Enforcement and do it." Vivien answered, her lips twisting poisonously in a smirk.
"Understood." Gideon sighed silently, looking at her cautiously. "What about your mom? When you visited herโshe woke. Nurses claim she attacked you. She was supposedly shouting some odd things until one of them didn't give her a Calming Cauldron." He raised his brow.ย
Vivien rolled her eyes, her head rolling in the same motion.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien dug her nails into her thighs as she walked through the hallways of St Mungo's towards a room where her mother rested. She had visited little Eden already and it didn't go too well.
Vivien was alone. She left her brothers at school. She didn't make them go to classes, Professors understand their situation. Still she didn't let them come with her to see their mother and brother. Vivien didn't know what their actual conditions were. She didn't want to overwhelm her dying ma or little Eden or her teenage brothersโthe ones that already were drowning in blues.
If Vivien took Ambroise, Teddy, and Rosaire there to see their dying mother, it would only lower their hopes. If they saw Eden so hurt, it would only scatter their heartsโthe ones that were already cracking into pieces. It would be cruel, if Vivien risked shattering them, even though they had argued to not let her go on her ownโalone.
Ma wouldn't want you to see her injured. I'm pretty sure healers wouldn't even let us all visit her or Eden at once so soon after the attack anyway. I promise to find out how they are and ask healers when you all could visit, but today I'm going alone. Vivien had elaborated, having the last word. Ambroise argued especially.
Vivien knew he wanted to be there for her. He felt it was his duty to take care of his big sister. In his mind, she had done enough taking care of him and their younger brothers. When they were younger, Ambroise had asked her, Vivi, if you help everyone, who helps you?, but it was like he said. Vivien helped everyone, including herself.
I promise you, I'm fine. We will talk when I'm back. I need you here, please? The best you can do is look after our brothers when I'm gone. Please do it for me, Bambi. Vivien had stroked his cheek, said goodbye, and left.
So she was alone. Professor Flitwick travelled with her but he stayed by the reception desk of the intensive care unit. She found room number 49 like the head nurse had instructed her.
Vivien entered the room, which was brightโbig, uncovered windows lighting it up. It was such a beautiful day outside. There was only one bed. Beside it stood a healing machine. It monitored Manon Beauchรชne's heart.
Vivien stood at a bedside by a small table, where two bouquets bloomed. Her eyebrows furrowed together and she looked at them. Someone had cut flowers from a flutterby bush and made a bouquet of them. What a waste, she thought. The other bouquet was made out of black roses, which was as strange.
Manon had very eccentric friends but the people responsible for those bouquets were off the eccentricity scale. Vivien wanted to look between the flowers to see if there were notes somewhere.
Vivien stretched out her arm-
She felt a crushing hold on her wrist. For the first time she faced her mother properly. Manon looked like a ghostโpale with reddish bruises on her arms and neck. The rest of her body was hidden by a hospital gown and blanket. Her blue and purple veins were flicking underneath her skin fairy light, but the worst was her touchโnot even the strength of it but the coldness of itโher fingers were ice coolโlike deathโs.
Manon sat up stiffly. She looked at Vivien, her wide eyes blank like there was no life behind them. She breathed deeply, panicking.
Vivien stood there, unsettled, spasm jolting through her body.
"Du calme, ma. C'est moi, Vivianne." She spoke slowly, putting her free hand up as a sign that she meant no harm.
"Vinny?" Manon softened for a split second until she flinched like she remembered something. Her face whincedโremembering everythingโdarkness of the night, pain and suffering, throat-ripping cries, and voice-splitting screams.
The healing machine screeched, signalling that something was wrong. Vivien heard steps outside the room thudding, screeching disturbing the silence of the floor.
Manon started crushing Vivien's wrist, her fingers tightening inhumanly strong. Vivien could feel her bones crack and she dug her nails in her thigh, trying to release pain. Her mother yanked harshly. Her usually hazel sparking irises were dull and full of bloodshots only.
"I let the devil's seed into our home and evil came and destroyed it!" She shouted into Vivienโs face, separated by inches.
Vivien felt Manon's chilling breath on her skin, shivers running down her spine. It smelled like death. Manon smelled like death.
"I invited it in, and it destroyed me from the inside out! I killed the life I created, and I killed the life I was created from! I killed the life that I created! Your fatherโthey will never find him! There's nothing to find!" She shouted maniacallyโerratically, her eyes so wide they bulged out the orbits.
Steps in the hallways echoed louder and Vivien looked at nurses running into the room.
"Move, child!"
Vivien whined in pain, someone trying to push her away from her mother, while Manon's hold on her wrist was crushing her bones into splits.
"If I could, I would!" She gritted her teeth, tears drowning her eyes.
Three nurses were running around the bed. Two of them tried to shove Manon down into the mattress. The other one turned off the machine that disturbed the intensive care unit. That one started digging in the pockets of her uniform and cardigan, looking for something.
"Dolores, for Merlin sake, hurry or poor girl will be in need of growing a new wrist!" The other nurse hurried.
"Found it!"
Vivien heard so-called Dolores.
The nurse stuck a syringe in Manon's artery and she instantly calmed down, her hold loosening. Finally, Vivien's wrist was free and she brought it close to her chest. She watched her mother weeping, dropping down into the mattress, sinking in the void.
"I'm so sorry, Vinny. I let evil into our home and it destroyed me from the inside out. I let it destroy the life I created and the life I was created from. When I felt pain, I didn't try to fight itโI let it consume me. In the end, I didn't even feel it. I was gone and it was so, so beautiful." Manon wailed quietly.
"Why? Why am I here? I destroyed the life I created and the life I was created from. I'm evil. I don't deserve a lifeโI don't want it. Why am I here? After everything went silent and dark, it was so blissful. I want to go back."
Vivien listened to her mother. Bitter tear rolled down her cheek. She nodded her head in disappointment and disbelief, looking away.
"Vinny, my little butterfly, be careful." Manon mumbled, falling asleep, causing Vivienโs neck to snap, her head whipping towards her mother.
"Show me your hand, Vinny."
The nurse, who had shouted at Dolores, stood by Vivien with a caring face.
Soon, only the two sat alone in a corner of the nurse room. Henrietta, as the nurse introduced herself as Henrietta, examined Vivien's wrist.
"Your full name is Vivien, isn't it?"
The young witch nodded her head yes.
"Very beautiful. Vivianus is a Latin name that was created from the word vivus, which means-"
"Alive." Vivien whispered.
She saw Henrietta smile kindly in the corners of her eyes, fixing her broken wrist.
"What did the other lady give my mother?" Vivien asked quietly, her face lowered, her cheeks stained with a few tears, her lashes thick.
"Calming cauldron." Henrietta answered.
Vivien looked at her and studied her.
Henrietta was a young woman. She had dark skin and was of average height. She had long, curly hair tied in braids, showing her facial features that she naturally was gifted with. She was beautiful with prominent cheekbones and full, heart-shaped lips. Her mahogany brown irises sparked happily and that softened Vivien's.
"It's-"
"A mix of different herbs that help an organism produce hormones like melatonin, a hormone that is responsible for sleep." Vivien finished with a challenging smile sneaking on her mouth.
"Smart girl." Henrietta winked at her.
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ย ย ย ย ย "First of all, Gideon, for you it's Miss Beauchรชne." Vivien corrected after he kept calling her mother by her name. "Second of all, are you seriously trying to suggest that my ma was involved in the shiteshow?" She snorted in disbelief, and ironic laugh bubbling in her throat like a brewing potion. "Yes, she said some eerie things and broke my wrist in two places. But it was the actions of someone who barely woke after surviving something traumatising. My ma was stabbed forty-nine times, for Merlin sake! She had to go through a process of healing every single internal organ in her stomach. She had to experience the fusion of seven broken ribs in her ribcage. You cannot imagine the pain she went through. The attack was devastating and it's a miracle my brothers aren't orphans."
Vivien subconsciously leaned on the table closer to auror, gesticulating to emphasise her words, her face twisting.
"It's a miracle my mother is alive. And now you are trying to tell me that she is one of the criminals you're looking for? Your friend Moodyโwho is hiding behind the fucking wall nowโwas the one to tell me she was laying there bleeding out when some psychos took their time with her. She was imprisoned in her body with Imperio, listening to everything that happened in our home! It would break anyone! She laid there listening and now you are trying to accuse her because you cannot catch anyone else to blame?!" She spat out. "Fuck that. I'm sorry that you, Fabian, Moody, Shacklebolt, and the rest of you clowns can't do your job, but don't drag my ma into that shite."
Vivien saw a muscle in Gideonโs jaw jump.
"Understood. Do you want something to drink? After that speech, you probably do, Vivien."
Vivien rolled her shoulders in a poor attempt to relax.
"Yes. Please." She said silently, her eyes closing and opening slowly.
"Oh, and you know the magical word."
"Even more than one."
Auror laughed at Vivien's snarky remark.
"You heard Miss Beauchรชne, boys. One mint tea for her and water for me." Gideon told the charmed wall, not that playful anyway.
"How do you know I like mint?" Vivien murmured, quirking her eyebrow to herself. She laid her arms on the wooden table, resting her cheek on them.
"Auror's intuition."
Vivien frowned, doubtful of that, not commenting on it either. She laid down on the table, gazing at the charmed wall. She was studying it for a sign of magic until someone else entered the room, the handle clicking open. She straightened, slacking her posture.
Vivien saw a man similar to Gideonโthe one who was sitting in front of her. It was Fabian Prewett.
Another one, the two didn't change that much since their Hogwarts days. Prewetts were twins. They looked alike. Maybe not. Gideon was more manly with his facial hair and sharp features, Fabian had a more boyish faceโbaby one with no beard or mustache. And he noticed how he was being stared at. He winked at Vivien playfully.
"Peppermint for you, my lady, and water for a clown." He put down a cup and a glass on the table.
Vivien bowed her head with a sweet, shite-eating smile. She brought the steaming cup closer to her and locked her fingers around it, while Fabian quickly left.
And she was alone with Gideon again.
"So Vivien," She raised her eyebrow. "How's your O.W.L.s?"
"I passed them."
"How many?"
"All of them."
"I can imagine, but I mean, how many did you take in total?" Auror questioned like it was the matter of the investigation.
"All of them." Vivien repeated slowly, rolling her eyes.
"All twelve?"
"Yes, all twelve."
They stared at each other, Gideonโs eyes squinting slightly.
"I would call you a professorsโ arselicker, but I know that's not the case." He was the first one to back away from their eye-fight.
Vivien chuckled at his statement. He smiled only for a split second.
"Moving on back to the fun." He sighed. "You are really close with your brothers, aren't you?"
"Yh-ym." She hummed, taking a sip of tea.
"Did Eden tell you something? He refused to speak to us except for once when he said one thing, and I quote, My sister taught me the stranger-danger rule. I assume you are the sister in question, and the rule is to not speak with strangers. Kid took it to heart."
Vivien bit on her sad smile, thinking about poor little Eden.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien leaned against the doorway of a hospital room. Eden Beauchรชne laid on a hospital bed, clinging to a huge pillow. He was resting on his side, looking outside the window, observing the blue cloudless sky. His back was facing Vivien. She stepped inside the room cautiously, moving firmly towards the bedside he was lying on.
Vivien softly waved her hand, coming into his vision. Vivien tried to be sensible and not scare the poor child. Eden, as a result of a head injury, lost most of his hearing in his left ear and a little hearing in his right ear. Healers didn't know how much of a chance they had to save his hearing. Vivien didn't know if he had heard he had a guestโa visitor.
"Hello." She smiled sadly.
Her little brother jumped in bed excitedly.
"Vivi!" Eden exclaimed, stretching his arms towards his big sister.
Viven sat on the bed, caught him in his arms, and hugged him tightly.
"My little flea." Vivien kissed Eden at the top of his head weakly against the dressing.
They sat like that for a few moments. It was only minutes but they passed too fast for Vivien. It felt like they were only seconds, while she wanted to sit like thisโnot even for days or monthsโbut for ages.
Once she parted, Edenโs eyes were overflood with tears. She stroked his cheeks, feeling her eyes turn teary too, her vision blurring. She bit her bottom lip. Poor little Eden was pale and had purple bags under his hazel eyes. Instead of his golden sparks, they were hopeless now.
Vivien didn't even know how much Eden understood of anything that had happened or how much terror he had experienced after the children healer said that he didn't want to talk to anyone.
"Oh, don't cry, ma puce." Vivien embraced him. She chewed on her cheek. It was already massacred and she didn't want her little brother to see tears in her eyes that tried to escape.
"Something bad happened and adults didn't let me go with mama." Eden mumbled out against her shoulder.
"It's alright. Mama's safe and sleeping. The important thing is that you are fine." Vivien said.
It had to move Eden the wrong way. He ripped himself from her. Tears poured down his cheeks. His face was sharpened in seriousness. He looked at her, disappointed.
"I don't think I'm fine! Adults said bad men came to our house to hurt us." He said tragically.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wound you, Eden." Vivien apologised. "Do you want to tell me what happened? I promise I will keep it a secret." She brushed his hair.
Eden nodded. Before he told his story, he scrambled around the mattress and laid on his side. He made a lot of room for and patted a mattress as a sign of invitation.
Vivien laid on her side, facing him.
"I was sleeping but I heard a scream. And another. It was grandma. I didn't know what was happening. It was very dark and I was very afraid. I hid my head under a pillow and waited but I heard Dusty's whining. I think bad men did something to Dusty because adults didn't let us see each other."
Vivien pierced the meat of her cheek with her teeth.
Poor Dusty... it was the family's dog. Border collie was supposed to grow up with Eden and Philippe. He was Vivien's youngest brothers' best buddy with their older siblings away at Hogwarts. He was beaten to death during the attack.
Luckily, at least one of the trio survived. Unluckily, only one of the trio survived.
"I snuck to the door and I was listening but I heard thuds in a hallway behind the door. I heard some voices. They sounded happy. I heard one bad man open a door to your bedroom and smack it close. I heard thuds and voices louder and I ran to my bed to hide. I was jumping towards it when the bad men were after me in my bedroom. They were laughing. One bad man grabbed my ankles and dragged me to the floor. I think I hit my head after I fell. Another bad man said, Little lamb is afraid of the pack of wolves. He kicked me in the head. I was scared, so I closed my eyes but one of the bad men put his finger to my face. He forced my eyes to open."
Eden looked around to see if there was anyone else listening, even though he was already whispering so silently only for his big sister to hear him. He gazed into Vivienโs eyes deeply, his eyes wide in fear.
"Adults said it was bad men, but Vivi, I don't think they were men." He confessed in a whisper. "I think it was monsters. They were ugly-faced and had shining skin. They were all in black like they were from the darkness. I think they came from under the bed."
Vivien saw how Eden tensed at his own words.
"And they were so happy hurting us. How could a man be so happy with hurting us, Vivi?"
That's why he's whispering! Little Eden was terrified because he thought those monsters could come from under any bed at any place at any time. He thought they could be spying on him and Vivien from under the hospital bed.
"It's fine, little flea. You're safe now. Hospital beds are protected, so no monster can scare patients. And once you leave St Mungo's, we will use a protection charm on every bed we will be around." Vivien assured, squeezing his small hand.
Eden's eyes became glassy, when he sniffed, disappointedโwith her.
"Last time you lied."
"How so?"
Vivien had to use every fiber within her body to not cry like her little brother did. She disappointed Eden somehow, her stomach twisting in sickness, her throat closing in regret.
"You said Mister Giggles would protect me but he didn't protect anyone. When one bad man dragged me from bed, I caught Mister Giggle and hugged him to my chest. But bad men hurt me and Mister Giggles did nothing. A bad man took him from me and it tore Mister Giggles into shreds and he didn't even protect himself. I cried and the bad men kicked me in the head and all the bad men laughed and joked. I curled in a ball but they kicked me everywhere. I cried louder and it was Philippe, who protected me. He ran with two bad men chasing him."
"Philippe shouted something at the bad men that kicked me but I think my ears stopped working. Voices were weird. I didn't know ears could get tired but mine had. I was scared. Philippe pushed one bad man and they all stopped kicking me. I curled more and covered my eyes but I saw between my fingers. All the bad men surrounded Philippe. And I shut my eyes. I think Philippe screamed in pain because when I opened one eye to look I saw he was lying on the floor. He wasn't moving. The bad men turned to me. They looked at each other and vanished. I laid curled until they were gone. I crawled to Philippe. I wanted to walk but it hurt too much to use my legs. Philippe's eyes were opened. I sat with him. He had red juice on his stomach. He smiled when he saw me. I had to lean closer to him because he talked very quietly. His voice was shaking and it was strange to my ears. He asked me how I was feeling and I told him that I had a headache because of all the noises. I think he tried to laugh but couldn't and coughed with red juice and I felt it on my face. It was warm. I told him that you would come and kiss what hurt and that it would heal like it always does but we had to wait patiently. I laid Philippe's head on my legs and it hurt me but laying on the floor had to hurt him. He told me that it was alright if you were a little late because his stomach didn't hurt. He said that I should not worry because nothing was hurting him. Philippe asked me if I could kiss him goodnight and I did. I kissed him like mama always does and he fell asleep. But I think I did something wrong because I tried to wake him and he wouldn't. And I cried for grandies and mama but they weren't coming. I placed Philippe's head on the floor to not interrupt his dreams and went to mama's on my fours, and it hurt but I went. I passed Poe in a hallway but they was dreaming too. I saw that mama dreamed too. I climbed on her bed and shook her to tell her that bad men hurt Philippe, but she had red juice on her stomach like he did and she also had it on her chest. I shook mama, and she didn't want to wake too. Nobody wanted to wake! I tried to help Philippe, but he fell asleep and I know he will never wake again! And you said if you're not there to protect me, Mister Giggles will but he didn't and when one bad man hurt him, you didn't come! None of you did!"
Eden wept outย the story. By the end of it, he turned his back on Vivien and cried silently to himself.
"Why none of you came?"
Vivien dropped flat on her back and shed a tear. She dug her nails into her thighs and rolled her lips into her mouth to muffle sounds trying to leave her mouth.
Mister Giggles was Eden's cuddly toy. It was a brown bunny wearing a small pink fedora on top of his head and holding a carrot between his paws.
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ย ย ย ย ย Quickly, Vivien wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.
"Do you need a break?" Gideon asked, observing how her body reacted against her will, while she was wandering in her mind.
"No!" She snapped, feeling pathetic. "No." She added calmer, ashamed of her fury at an act of kindness.
"Alright." He spoke silently.
She swallowed her stupid emotions down her throat and answered auror's last question.
"Edenโhe doesn't speak about that night at all, but after the attack when I visited him at St Mungo's, he told me everything he remembered. Eden thinks that the bad men are monsters from under a bed but didn't specify which one. He said they wore black clothes and that they were ugly-faced with shining skin."
"They had shiny skin?" Gideon mused, focused on her answer.
Vivien nodded her head.
"You know what it means?"
Prewett sent her an apologetic look, expressing that he knew but could not share.
Vivien nodded her head in understanding. She did not ask any more about the subject.
The two sat silently for a while. Vivien had finished her tea, when she heard a buzz. Violently, she raised from her chair, facing the charmed wall and catching Gideon's attention.
"You hear it, don't you? Magic?"
Vivien came closer to the wall, her head titling from side to side. She probably looked mad for anyone behind it. She was studying it without blinking like it had hypnotised her.
"Yh-ym." She hummed, listening to the wall. "Well, only when I focus I do, if it is strong enough but I have really good hearing. Women in my family could see it naturally in the past, but with time and our lack of connection to nature, that ability went away."
"So I've read. Your family's name appears a lot in history books. You are always where you need to be." Gideon mentioned like it was supposed to be a solace.
"I would say we always show up in the wrong place at the wrong time, Giddy."
"I wrote once about Goblin's rebellion in the 1890s for Binns. I guess Faith would agree."
"Her birth name was actually Fayette but it was anglicised by some British clown in an orphanage. Fayette could experience magic better than me. She not only heard it but she saw it like our ancestors did." Vivien told.
She turned to auror, who had been focused on her the whole time.
"Ancient magicโthe source of today's magic as we know it."
"How does magic sound?"
"Differently." Vivien slowly wanders to her chair, her hands tucked behind her back. "Depends on a spell."
"How does the spell used on that wall sound?"
"It buzzes."
Chapter 4: tragic irony
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย During an unwanted break from interrogation, Vivien quickly awaited the questions, silence too dragging on.
"What else do you have for me, Gideon?" She tilted her head, observing Gideon.
"Daily Prophet. Although we still don't know from whom the information came, we know that the leak didn't come from us. And what we know is how the author of an article made it to the news in a few hours between the attack and the new release."
Vivien scratched her brow, listening.
"Miss Newman didn't want to talk at first, but we found out she had received an anonymous letter that evening, when she was finishing her official article. She received the latter around eight or nine in the evening. She believed the attack happened the night before. The letter itself described it in weird, nuclear words. That's why she addressed the timeline in her article wrongly. It wasn't a mistake in writing.
Vivien felt her back and neck prickle with sweat, the temperature in the room raising. She wanted to laugh in disbelief.
"Miss Whatever knew about the massacre in my home before it happened?" She giggled bitterly, her head shook in disbelief.
The only person who knew something did nothing because their job was more important than people's lives. Vivien slammed her fist on the table. She felt how her hand, especially her wrist, which not so long ago was broken, became weak and shaking.
Gideon, seeing her reaction, backed away a few inches, even if he was on the other side of the table anyway.
"I'm sorry." Vivien giggled angrily, hiding her face in her healthy hand, trying to suppress the maniac laughter, which was all she had left. Laughter.
"It's understandableโyou're mad for a valid reason." Gideon assured, moving closer to the table. "But I want you to know that there will be consequences for Miss Newman's ignorance. She will be punished for not reporting a crime and publicising the details of an active investigation. She might even be punished for contributing to delinquency."
Vivien shook her head, staring at him.
"Punishing that lady for contributing to delinquency isnโt needed. She's simply a hyena preying on someone's tragedy, not a predator that actually murdered half of my family. I would appreciate it more, if you caught and punished factual people guilty of the crimes."
Gideon tightened his lips in a thin line at her words.
He sighed, "That's why we investigate. To catch dark wizards we need evidence to prove their guilt. And a lot of information comes from people and what they tell us."
"Then question me, Gideon." Vivien held her hurting wrist close to her chest, massaging it. It was hurting but she wanted to release the tension she felt.
She and Gideon stared at each other. He glanced down at her wrist for a solid second, dwelling. She stared at him sharply, like her eyes were daggers and she held him on a knifepointโdaring him to try and ask her if she was fine, when the answer was so obvious.
He looked away and suddenly a piece of parchment appeared from nowhereโit fell slowly and landed on the wooden table. He slid it towards her delicately.
"We have the latter that Miss Newman received. My colleagues and I discussed whether we should or shouldn't show it to you. The majority decided we should. Of course, only if you agree. You can read it and tell us if the wording or handwriting seems familiar to you."
Vivien studied the piece of parchment, unconvinced. She looked at the auror.
"What exactly is written in it?"
"The same as Newman's article but more detailed. Author of it described who and how they were attacked. They listed who was the first to go and who was the lastโthey listed who survived. They admitted that it was all planned and organised from the start to the finish line."
"Who survived?" Vivien murmured, looking at the mysterious letter, eyebrows furrowing together.
"Yes, they wrote that your mother and Eden survived exactly like they did."
Who survived? Vivien was swayed, even if Gideon wasnโt startled at his own words. How could anyone plan that they will stab someone else over forty times and the person will survive it? She believed that the fact Manon lived was a healing phenomenon.
"Sorry, but I won't read it." Vivien decided, looking at Gideon. "I already know what happened to my family."
When Gideon was about to slide the parchment back to him, she laid her hand on top of his to stop him.
"But I can look at the handwriting."
And he let go of the letter, bowing his head in understanding.
Vivien took the parchment. She squinted her eyes subtly for a split second, and her brows frowned. Her heart picked up pace as she studied the letters on the parchment. She sat in silence for a minute until she handed the letter back to him, her face softening.
"Nothing?"
"Noth-"
Vivien heard twinkling carrying from that piece of parchment. The sound was satisfying to the ears like honey is to the tongueโsmooth.
She glanced at Gideon, suspicious. He half-smiled.
"I was intrigued, if it would catch your attention. After using a strong revealing spell we figured out the thing was charmed. There is a hidden message on the other page."
He turned the letter to the blank side. He buried his hand in the pocket of his robe until he dug his wand out. He tapped the blank piece of parchment with a tip of his wand, and it showed something that a lot of people would consider nonsense.
Vivienโs heart hammered harder once more.
"Take a look for yourself, Vivien."
She inspected the strange symbols carved like notches along a single vertical line on the parchment. Short horizontal lines branched off to the left, to the rightโlike a tree and its twigsโsometimes crossing the line entirelyโancient signs spelling words older than the kingdom.
"Do you know what it is?"
Vivien looked at Gideon, quirking his eyebrow at her.
"I do. Do you know what it is?" She retorted.
"I do. Although I didn't know how it worked, I do now. It's the Ogham writing, isn't it?"
"Truly, you did your job for once." Vivien winked at Gideon with a fake smile on her face.
"It's three words: aire, briathra, fรฉileacรกn. Loosely, it translates to something likeโcare, words, butterflyโthough I think care stands for careful actually. Itโs old Irish."
"Yes, it is." She nodded with that fake smile plastered, her nose wrinkling.
"Tell me, Vivien. In my colleagues' opinions, it's a message for someone that is referred to as a butterfly." Prewett spread out on a chair comfortably, putting hands behind his head.
Vivien mimicked him, though she spared herself the hands behind the head. She folded her arms over her chest neatly.
"Who do you think the butterfly is, and why are they supposed to be careful with their words?"
Vivien cringed.
"I don't knowโyou tell me. You are the auror here, Gideon." She said theatrically. "What? Can anyone do your job now?"
"Vivien, how did it happen that your family ended up living with the Black family?"
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ย ย ย ย ย "You are an idiot, but I like you anyway."
Vivien pushed Edgar away. He came back even closer. He brushed her hair off of her shoulder, uncovering her neck. He began leaving a wet trail of kisses. She rolled her eyes at his provocative attempts.
"It's enough for me." Edgar whispered in Vivien's ear between kisses, and she smiled at his flattery.
They were walking through the emptied corridors of the express to complete Bones' prefect duties that year. They were checking if accidentally no child tried to return with the Hogwarts Express to Hogsmeade, blocking the express.
Truthfully, it was Vivien who checkedโat least she tried to. Evan thought it felt like she and Edgar had spent half of a ride to London in one of the bathroomsโwhich they supposedly didโit seemed that Edgar was more interested in provoking her with his lips and words than in helping her with his own duties.
Vivien faced him. He was following her like a puppy.
In that moment, he smirked, towering over her.
"Eddie, we need to get out at some point before we turn out to be the first years that we are looking for."
"It wouldn't be so bad, if we stayed. Just us. Here at express. A lot of privacy, dearest Fienna. Nice views too." Edgar wiggled his eyebrows.
He leaned closer to Vivien, stroking her nose with his own playfully. She crinkled it. Their lips brushed against each other. But without further action, Vivien grabbed Edgar's hand and dragged him after her, his fingers tangling with hers.
"I don't think it would be bad at all. But Amelia is about to use her last chance to scold us for your clownery." Vivien could swear she heard the sound of Bones' eyes rolling.
"Yes, my sister is a little bit of a witch."
She giggled at his dry joke.
Once they were at the exit of the carriage, they experienced all the busyness of a platform. Edgar and Vivien smiled at each other, stepping out of the express. The station was busy, even if it was not as bad as it always was at first when the Hogwarts Express stopped. As Vivien was about to let go of Edgar's hand, he twirled her around. She slammed against his chest, her hands rested on his shoulders. She could feel his heating touch on her waist.
"No goodbye for me?" He smirked, his blue eyes flickering like summer sun on a warm lake.
"I believe there was a lot of it already. And none of it would be appropriate." Vivien tilted her head, gazing into Edgar's light irises that glimmered.
"I'm not sure what you mean. You may try and remind me what you are talking about, Fienna." She watched his magnetic blue eyes wander between her eyes and lips.
"We are in public." She whispered, but wrapped her hands around his neck anyway.
"Oh, bollocks! Yes, please consider the fact that you are in public. Can we all get a break from you two?" Amelia Bones pushed her arms between the young two, elbowing their ribs to rip them apart. She had had enough of them together by then.
"I think what Amy wanted to say is that you already gave us a final show by blocking that bloody bathroom, pricks."
Vivien felt Frank Longbottom's strong arm rest on her shoulders.
"And you goofballs, don't even try to deny and say it wasn't you."
The Head Boy pointed his finger between Vivien and Edgar accusatory.
It was mostly older students saying goodbye to each other at the station. Nonetheless, the group still got some stares from a few parents that were left on the platform.
"We would never do such a vile thing, Frank." Vivien placed her hands on her heart. "You think so low of us? We are not liars. Of course, it was us two." She confessed shamelessly.
Edgar winked at her, like he approved of the message, smirking proud and self-satisfied. She winked at him too, smiling softly.
"You two are disgusting." The Head Girl raised her brows at them.
Miss, you don't even know half of it.
Amelia clenched her hand harder around a newspaper she was holding.
"Especially you, Edgar. Taking a girl to the bathroom? Seriously?! What is wrong with you?!" She used the thing on her twin. It was her last chance as the Head Girl to scold him.
Or she was being a sister.
"It...was...not...not...my ide-A!" Edgar gasped out between the fits of his laugh, trying to protect himself, holding his arms over his head, where she was smacking him. "Okay...can you...can you stop hitting me-E...you-you little bea-ST?"
Vivien was entertained, watching Amelia attack Edgar with a newspaper and telling him off. Frank found it amusing just the same. They met each other's eyes, questioning if they should stop Amelia from violating Edgar. Frank only shook his head and Vivien nodded her head in agreement. But then young Mister Longbottom ruffled her hair, and she shoved him on the shoulder.
She was brushing her hair to fix it and Frank helped her, grinning to himself.
Vivien was not a popular girl but she was the girl that everybody knew. It was not positive. She was that one girl known for rumours. Wherever she went, her persona had already outrun her. It had been like this since Vivien got expelled from the Acadรฉmie de Magie Beauxbรขtons during her first year in collรจge at the age of eleven. It only took her four months to get expelled. A few months later, with the new school year, she pursued her education at Hogwarts with other twelve-year-olds. The issue was that Vivien had never grown out of her troublemaking nature, and because of it she was being heavily talked about behind her back. However, she sometimes charmed some people and found someone else to surround herself with like those clowns.
She was brushing her hair down, when they heard-
"Vivi!"
Vivien turned towards the direction of the little voice. Her schoolmates composed themselves, hearing her name being yelled. They all saw students and some parents moving away from Eden's way. He was running towards his big sister. Longbottom stepped backwards towards the Bones twins from where they all watched the sweet scene.
Vivien crouched down carefully with only a miniskirt covering her. She caught Eden in her arms. He embraced her tightly but she squeezed him even tighter. Vivien wasn't aware of how much she needed a hug from her little brother until then.
"Salut, my little flea." She kissed Eden's cheek.
"Salut." Cute, he mumbled in her ear, giggling at how she smooched him.
"I feel someone has gained some strength."
Eden was trying to crush his big sister with his short arms knotted around her neck.
"I ate health to gain strength for your hug. Please don't tell anyone I told you."
Vivien snorted at Eden. She heard her schoolmates crack too.
"Would never. Your secret is safe with me." She loosened her arms around her little brother, but he caught her hand in his small one to hold it.
They faced the Bones twins and Longbottom. Eden waved his free hand towards smiling teenagers.
"Hello Vivi's friends."
"Hi mate." Frank bowed his head.
"Greetings, little man." Edgar winked.
"Hello." Amelia waved her hand back.
"Bye-bye, Vivi's friends." Satisfied with that much, Eden turned away and started dragging his big sister away, smiling to himself absently.
"I don't think he likes us much."
Vivien heard Frank. She turned her head back, smiling. She waved her free hand.
โBye,โ She mouthed.
Vivien didn't say properly goodbye to her schoolmates, especially to the two graduates, Frank and Amelia, but goodbyes were never her thing anyway. She always thought they were unreasonably dramatic. It wasn't like she planned to never see Amelia and Frank again because they graduated.
"I've helped Romulus with your baggage because Ambroise could not handle yours and his so Romulus helped him and I helped him-him. The second him." Eden bragged.
"Lupin's name is Remus."
"That's what I said."
Vivien chuckled.
Eden walked her towards their family, who was waiting near the gateway of Platform 9ยพ like she suspected them to do. What she didn't suspect them to do was have companions. Another family. Although her chest ached at the picture, she did not let her face fall.
Vivien's brothers stood in line by their mother's right side. Eden ran back to that line. He squeezed himself between their mother and twelve-year-old Rosaire, who was standing next to a year older Theodore. Fourteen-year-old Ambroise at last, making foolish faces at Rosaire who was doing the same to him. They were waiting impatiently.
And on Manon Beauchรชne's left side stood an older married couple with their son, whom Vivien knewโa little too well, one could claim. Her forehead wrinkled and her eyebrows furrowed for a brief moment. Still she kept her radiant beam, even if it wasn't genuine anymore.
"Ma, what is going on?" She approached her mother and they shared small kisses on the cheeks.
"Like I wrote in my letters, I've made new friends, Vivianne. Kind peopleโthey offered me help." Manon told, facing a married couple standing beside them with Vivien.
The married couple was looking up and down Vivien and her fashion choices. Vivien's miniskirt was definitely the least modest thing two adults had ever seen. They were dressed like they were about to join Queen Victoriaโs tea party.
"And I believe you know their son closely already." Manon added, her tone meaningful like she was a teenage girl.
Her action caused Vivien, an actual teenage girl, to react immediately.
Vivien's brain had to malfunction, right? She wasn't hearing and seeing correctly, was she? Her one eye twitched. She turned away from the Black family, completely ignoring them. In the corner of her eye she saw Mrs. and Mr. Black eyeing each other because of her direct lack of respect. She didn't even care about their son.
"You befriended Regulus fucking Black's parents? Are you mental, ma? I don't remember the healers at St Mungo's mentioning brain damage." Vivien said this a little too cheerfully with her shite-eating smile and slowly shattering faรงade.
Ambroise, Teddy, and Rosaire cackled like toads. They were waiting for a drama once they saw Regulus and were introduced to his parents a few minutes before.
"Manon informed us about your impolite nature but we could not believe that such an aristocratic girl could be so ill-mannered." Mrs. Black spoke and Vivien faced her.
So she could snort into her face in disbelief.
"It's one of many ways to describe Vivien."
Everyone heard Regulus' murmur but none commented on it, though Vivien's younger brothers chortled more, trying to play it out as coughing.
"Oh, excuse me, Mrs. and Mr. Black, but I wasn't informed that the Ancient and Noble House of Lack knew anything about politeness. I would not guess from your son's behaviour." Vivien spat out, her lips twisting.
"I like your temper, Miss Beauchรชne. I heard you are a bright witch and an intelligent young woman, so I would think twice and be careful with words if I were in your position." Mr. Black stepped in front of Vivien, blocking her and his wife from each other to put out their fiery temperaments before anyone could get burned.
He reached out his hand towards her. Vivien stared at it for a few seconds, rethinking everything.
She smiledโfakelyโsweetly.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Black." She accepted Mr. Blackโs gesture.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Vivien, your mother said you do not have a boyfriend, but we've seen you with a boy back at King's Cross station." Walburga mentioned over a dinner.
Vivien somehow, in an unfortunate turn of events, found herself and her family in a dining room at Grimmauld Place 12โthe Black family's property. Mrs. Black was polite enough to invite Manon, Vivien, and boys to the Black family's residence for the whole summer breakโwhat caught Vivien's ear.
Once everyone had stepped into the building, they were directed to the dining room for dinner. Kreacher, the elf, was prepared for guests, even though he didnโt seem happy to host them. Fairly, he didnโt even appear happy to see Mrs. and Mr. Black either.
Vivien had to admit that she saw cosier catacombs at Hogwarts than the Black family's residence. It was a lot to look at. Dark wallpapers everywhere blended with the black furniture. Victorian style was causing her a headache. Especially with a very few windows covered by emerald curtains and dim light in every room. Vivien believed that the caves of the first people weren't so, so dark before the discovery of fire.
She sat at a long table beside Regulus. His existence was strictly ignored and neglected. In front of the two teenagers sat Manon and on opposite ends of the table sat Mrs. and Mr. Black. Vivien's brothers were sitting at a separate smaller table in a corner of the room, which was the children's placeโwhatever that meant. Dinner was silent with everyone eatingโthe only sound was the clicking of the cutlery against plates.
Vivien didn't expectโor wantedโto talk but she wasn't shocked at the interest of Mrs. Black.
"Oh, he's not my boyfriend. Eddie is my close friend." Vivien put a big piece of meat in her mouthโan effort to escape speaking.
The pheasant roast that Kreacher cooked unexpectedly became more delicious than it was.
"Eddie?"
Vivien heard Regulus' mocking tone. She stopped her act of pretending he wasn't there to glance at him out of a corner of her eyeโand he glanced at her.
"Regulus is right. It seems you and Eddie are very close." Her mother pointed out with a challenging smile.
Ambroise and Rosaire chuckled and Theodore hit them on the shoulders.
Not surprised that you think that I'm very close with everyone because I wouldn't dare conclude that any of you ever had any friends. Vivien knew she was in the wrong, her and Edgar's friendship not purely platonic. And they weren't trying to mask it. Nonetheless, she didn't feel the need to express that.
"Rumours say that you and Eddie have a really, really special friendship."
Vivienโs head spun towards Regulus, who was already watching her, so he could see her rolling eyes.
"I didn't take you as nosy, Black. You have a thing for gossip, or only the ones about me?" Vivien filled her mouth with another piece of meat, her lips stroking against a fork.
Regulus' eyes wandered down her face. Quickly, they retreated defensively from her passive and secretive ambush. Vivien tilted her head, and it was him to roll his eyes now.
"Do not flatter yourself, Vivien. What I've heard are not kind words."
What you said with your little friends were neither!
"But interesting enough to absorb young Mister Black's mind." Vivien smirked sarcastically.
"Children, do I recall correctly that you are partners in Slughorn's class?"ย
She looked at Orion, then back at Regulus. She scoffed internally.
While Vivien's eyes stayed on Regulus, she saw how he started eating vegetables off his plate to avoid awkward silence. His plate was almost fullโhe didn't touch most of the food the whole dinner. She looked away from his plate to avoid making him anxious about that. Am I the only one to noticeโor does no one else care enough to be bothered?
"Oh, you two are partners in Potions?" Manon piped in, surprised, a small smile stretching her mouth.
Unlike Orion and Walburga, she didn't follow the smallest steps her children took.
"We used be since I arrived at Hogwarts in our second year but it ended during our fourth year when-"
"When Professor Slughorn decided we were too flawless together and decided to pair us up with other students." Regulus lied without an effort, sounding bored with the topic.
Vivien's brothers, who knew what really happened, didn't hide their emotions too well. They looked at each other, stupefied.
Regulus was simply done with an argument before it even beganโbecause it would begin.
Mrs. Black was less patient than her husband or son togetherโshe would go after Vivien's throat, if Vivien told her the true story.
"Understandable." Mr. Black nodded his head, glancing between Regulus and Vivien from the corners of his eyes.
After that, the dinner dragged on in silence.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Comfy, isn't it?" Manon stood in the doorway of a guest roomโthe one reserved for her daughter.
Vivien stood in the middle of itโdisgustedโnot pleased. She heard sarcasm in her mother's tone. Manon did see how awfully ugly this place wasโshe wasnโt blind.
"Honestly, I would not wipe my arse with this bedding, ma."
Someone annoying would say something about kindness being free, but Vivien was taught well that hatred was free just the same.
Her mother chuckled, her head tipping forward. "You'll survive."
Vivien listened, meanwhile, she leaned over a bed and touched the material of the bedding. Not cheap. Just ugly.
"If anyone will get a chance to survive what is near, it will be you, Vivienne." Manon snorted, slightly slurry.
Vivien swirled to look at her mother but Manon was already gone.
She had to rush to a living room, where she left Regulus, his parents, and her own sons.
Vivien stood there looking at the doorway, astonished at her mother's words and tone that contradicted each other. She had to be tortured by Kreacher in a home-made style. Vivien was absent, her eyes stilled on nothing specific, when Regulus walked towards his bedroom that was on the left of the bedroom that was about to become hers.
He looked inside, frowning at the new state of Sirius' old bedroom. He looked at Vivien and behind himself, trying to figure out what she was staring at with such blank eyes. Regulus leaned against the doorway, arms crossed on his chest. He cleared his throat.
Vivien blinked a few times, looking at Regulus. He was raising his brows. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him.
If Vivien were ever asked to describe what Regulus Black looked like, she would say he looked like the first survivor of the dementor's kiss. He was slightly tall but because of his thin posture, he appeared to be taller than he actually was. He had pale, shining skin like a diamond.
Regulus had silver-grey eyes, onyx-black hair and prominent dark eyebrows to match it. He had a beautiful face. His jawline was sharper than knives. Vivien always appreciated the view of his face during their Potions' partnership. For some reason, she loved his nose. Something about his beauty was artistic to her. He looked so mysterious and his loose jumpers in dark shades were always adding to his gloomy aura.
Unfortunately, Regulus wasn't like a shell protecting a glamorous pearl hidden inside.
The audacity of men, Vivien thought, to be so pretty outside and hideous inside.
"What are you doing?" She tucked her arms over her chest, matching his attitude.
"What are you doing?" He asked nonchalantly.
"I asked first."
"It's my house."
"And sincerely, I'm sorry about this." Vivien sent him a shite-eating grin.
Regulus scoffed at her audacity.
"Oh, I see." He invited himself inside the room, taking slow steps towards her. "Princess doesn't enjoy her stay. She misses her little castle, doesn't she? Well, if she wants princess treatment, she should act like it." He stopped himself, towering over Vivien with only inches between them.
She wasn't intimidated. She looked at him, unbotheredโeven bored.
"Let me show you what everyone really saw today because it was not a princess, Vivien."
Regulus cocked his head at the mirror above a dresser on her left. Vivien looked at it. She was fakely intrigued to see what he was trying to prove to her. She turned towards the mirror and saw his reflection do the same.
"Enlighten me then, youโthe star that shines the brightest." She said ironically.
She watched Regulus' hand travel to the collar of her white polo shirt. He hooked his slim and long finger on it, yanking it down. It caused two buttons to come undone, exposing her collarbone and reddish bruises marking her skin.
"This is what everybody saw todayโa whore." Vivien wasnโt impressed in the first place, but then she was even less impressed somehow. She met Regulus' icicles of eyes in the reflection. "If my father and mother learnt about what has happened in that Hogwarts Express' bathroom, you would be sleeping in a rubbish bin in the backyard behind some muggles' house." She felt his breath tickle the edge of her ear, while he hissed in it.
Vivien snorted. She faced the him. Accidentally, they were only separated by even less inches than before because of how Regulus lowered himself to her height. Although they felt something tense thickening the air, none of them would confess it even in the eyes of Merlin himself.
"Oh, you can only imagine the things that took place in that bathroom." She said provocatively, stabbing her nail in his chest repeatedly. "Go right ahead and tell them, if you and your lunatic parents are so invested in my sex life. I'm not stopping you. By the wayโlittle adviceโif I was you, I would be careful in whose personal space I'm stepping because you can catch something from a whore like me, for example appeal."
Her hand flattened against his chest and pushed him away from dominating, towering position. She stuck out her hand beside him towards the exit of the room.
"There's the door, and behind it is a hallway with stairsโyour parents should be with my loopy mother somewhere down it. Go ahead and fucking tell them."
She wasn't mad or furious. She was tired, her tone calm and helpless.
"I don't know where you got the idea that I suddenly care what people think, but there's your merry way. And if you find a fuck that I gave about your damn opinion somewhere on it, don't bother to come back and return it. Goodnight, Regulus."
Vivien stared at Black, and he stared back at her, when they felt this tension try to enchant them together.
Finally he bowed his head and left her alone. He closed the door behind himself quietly.
Vivien inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. She rubbed and threw her head back, groaning and grumbling in gibberish. She gave up, sinking in her new bed.
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ย ย ย ย ย "With people who proudly call themselves superior and advocate for Voldemort? It doesn't sound like anything that somebody like you would do. Your family never believed in superiors, but for some reason you all are staying with the Black family now. Beauchรชnes always were open-minded."
It felt like the metaphorical erumpent in the room took a seat on Vivien's chest. She ignored it.
"We know the only connection there is between you all is that you and Regulus Black are in the same year at school. But for a fact, we also know that you hate that boy more than Beauchรชnes hate the British Ministry."
Vivien theatrically opened her mouth and laid her hand on her breast, where her heart was supposed to be.
"I don't know why you would say that, Gideon. We don't hate you, dorksโme and my family don't even really know you."
Gideon sent her a look with a raised eyebrowโthe one saying, who are you kidding?
"I express my love through hate." Vivien babbled out.
"So you're deeply in love with Regulus Black?" Gideonโs face twitched in a judgmental frown.
"So deeply that even the farthest pits of hell didn't see it. Our love is from such a deep place that it's cold by the time it's served." Vivien elaborated foolishly in a theatrical manner.
Gideon didn't believe her. She didn't believe herself either.
Gideon definitely had various feelings about how the conversation turned. If he didn't sit with Vivien the whole time, he would assume that she was drunk and talking nonsense.
"Listen, Gideon. I don't know what you expect us to do. Go to our so-called home? Am I supposed to take my mother and brothers there and tell them it's our safe space when it's a place they ran away from to begin with? We don't have a home anymore, fine? It's like you said, we are open-minded. Maybe a little too much, if we are open to being close-minded. Whatever. When my mother was still staying at St Mungo's, I was at Hogwarts with my brothers and that left Eden aloneโa four-year-old boy who was maimed and mortified for his life. Mrs. and Mr. Black were kind enough to help, and my mother accepted their help. I know my behaviour leaves much to be desired, but she's an adult and I respect her decisions. My family is the safest possible right now." Vivien gesticulated steadily, not drowning in a single emotion.
"But are you safe, Vivien?"
She groaned, her head dropping.
"Oh, for Merlin sake." She rolled her eyes, landing them on Gideon. "Do you think that even if I was in fact in danger I would want your help, Gideon? Or Moody's and the older Shackleboltโs? Or Fabian's? Or anyone else who's hiding behind the wall? Please... You want to protect me? You cannot even protect yourselves."
She giggled out in desperation.
"My fatherโhe was one of the best at what you all do here, and where is he now? Is he dead, six feet under, in Merlin forbidden place, where his body will never be found? Is he being held hostage in some dusty, crusty, smelly basement? Tortured? Broken piece by piece? Dying of thirst and starvation? Freezing?"
She heaved a sigh.
"By now, my father wishes for death if he is alive, even at the price of never being found... and if he's not dead yet, I pray for him to be as soon as possible because whatever happens to him now is probably worse than death. And what exactly do you do? Any of you? Sitting on your arses and being completely useless. I've read the Daily Prophet every day the whole year, and from what I've seen all you guys do is find bodies. Now instead of investigating the massacre that took place in my home, you go around asking my classmates if I like Regulus Black and chit-chat with me about whether or not my childhood name is butterfly? Sorry that I know the Ogham alphabet like any person of culture. Can anybody become an auror nowadays or do you try to lower the bar so it's on the floor for anyone to step on it? If any of you think I'm being careful with my words, check your damn hearing. I think we're done here."
Vivien stood immediately to leave but Gideon stopped, her hand on a door handle.
"You might doubt us, but we're trying to help, Vivien. You're right, we keep finding bodies, and this is why we're trying to prevent more deaths. But how can we help if no one asks us for it?" He shared a look with her.
He was being heartfeltโshe could tell he meant his words.
"Me and you both know that you're not safe."
Vivien could tell Gideon Prewett was a good person but being good was not enough to survive.
"You don't get it, Gideon, do you?" She was sincere because she felt bad for him, her face softening, her stomach twisting subtly. "No one is safe. The war isn't comingโit's already here. Humans are only humans in human conditions. What happened in my home wasn't humane but it was created by human hands. I conclude that most of you here are Gryffindors. Listen thenโyour mistake is to worry about who's right and not about who's left. Because when you are here trying to do the right thing, Death Eaters murder for sport. My grandparents, dearest Philippe, and lovely Poeโthey were gone before you even made it to our house. All that slaughter in our gardenโanimals there were more humane than the people who had done it."
Vivien's words were words of horror, but it was hard to tell whether they came from someone who was scared or someone who was scary. Her body shook a little when she spokeโwas it out of fury or out of fright? Both.
She kept her voice and words quiet, calmโpeaceful. Sometimes she even glanced at the charmed wall to include anyone who was willing to listen to her.
"You'll be lucky if you make it to the next decade, Gideon. You are kind and it's not kind people that win wars. I'm sorry but if you really want to help me, leave me alone."
Vivien swallowed, tired. Her emotions were everywhere but inside her mind. Her wrist hurt. She had a headache from everything. She was easily irritated out of fatigue.
"I'm not afraid-"
"Of course you're not. You are Gryffindor, a person of chivalry and honourโblah, blah, blah. Whatever. If you aren't afraid, then Gryffindors are stupider than I thought." She chuckled, but it was only out of more desperation and her bodyโs weariness. "You are afraid, people. You are. Because if you weren't, you would be no better than the Death Eaters. You act according to your morals and by now they have abandoned any they ever had. That's why they are ahead of you, because you are still human. You are noble, Gideon, but it means nothing to someone whose heart doesn't know kindness. Barbarians' instinct dictates their actions, not their morals. Now goodbye, Mister Prewett." She bowed her head kindlyโpolitely.
She left.
Vivien felt the weight on her shouldersโthe one that all the looks on her back weighedโas she was walking through a straight and long hallway.
She was being honest, but would she say all of this if she knew how things would go down in the future? Maybe, maybe not.
Vivien knew Gideon was rightโshe wasn't safe, but as long as she stayed at Grimmauld Place 12, her family was the safest it could be.
Young Vivien wondered if it was already the beginning of the end. Or maybe her failure was engraved in the stone from the moment she shook Mr. Black's hand? Or maybe it was since she transferred to Hogwarts four years ago?
What Vivien didn't want to think about was that maybe she was like a Greek hero, meant to fail miserably from the day she was born. Was she blinded by her own hubris, which she wore like a shield? Did she walk slowly towards her hamartia?
Was she like this?
It would be a tragic irony, wouldn't it?
At that moment, Vivien couldn't lie to herself anymore. She had this consuming feeling that things would not end well, no matter what she would tell in that interrogation room. It wouldn't change a thing because it was already too late.
It was like she said to Gideonโthe war was already there.
She felt sickening pity filling her gut.
Alea iacta est, Julius Caesar once said.
The question was, who would take on the role of Brute and betray the young witch in the end?
Chapter 5: potions partnership
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The final exams were right around the cornerโVivien would be lying if she said she cared. Someone stupid would say it wasn't wise to be so careless. But in fact, Vivien was wise, and she knew better than that. It was Potions. Most of her classmates continued working on an antidote to Butterbeer. That year, there were a lot of theoretical classes because the material for the fourth year included a lot of different antidotes that were very advanced to brew in practice. Professor Slughorn suggested brewing a butterbeer anti-hangover potion as he called it. He said jokingly that this one might be quite useful for students and a few arselickers laughed.
Vivien had read that it was the easiest antidote to prepare. And it was easy. Vivien and her partner had made it before the previous Potions ended.
So there she was, brewing a Shrink Solution out of boredom on her half of a desk. On the other half of the desk was Regulus Black, Vivien's Potions' partner since their second year. He was reading his book silently.
But Sybill Trelawney, working on her own antidote nearby, seemed to disturb him. She was groaning in frustration every few seconds. Regulus kept staring at her from his lecture.
Trelawney struggled with cutting one of the ingredients after she had to start her mixture all over again because the last one over-boiled. Her Potions' partner wasn't in the picture. Regulus rolled his eyes as she groaned once more.
"Were not Ravenclaws supposed to be the cleverest of everyone? Or clever at all?" He scoffed, sending a dagger at her with a pointed look over his shoulder.
Vivien wasn't sure if Regulus was actually asking or just taunting, but either way she found that comment unnecessary.
"Excuse you?" She looked over at him from her shrinking potion, frowning judgingly.
Was Vivien the fondest of Sybill Trelawney? No, Sybie was sweet but a walking mess.
Was Vivien about to let some arseclown walk over poor her behind her back? Absolutely not!
"If you are so clever, why don't you go and help her?"
"I guess I am so clever since I've already done this potion. A week ago." Regulus responded arrogantly, meeting her eyes.
"We've done it as you and me. Sybill is working alone." Vivien mentioned.
"Yes, we as you and me. But I was there, wasn't I? She can't even squeeze juice out of that rotten plant. To do that, we didn't need each other." He raised his eyebrows.
"Well, nothing stops you from helping Bibie instead of talking shite about her." Vivien rolled her eyes.
"Help for what? To catch something from that half-breed? Now that I said it, her incompetence makes sense. That happens when you combine a wizard's blood with a muggle's dirty one."
"What happens? Unstable teenagers? From what I see, your parents being each other's cousins didn't save you from that fate either, Black." Vivien shook her head in disbelief, giggling at his goofiness.
"Hilarious.โ He scoffed. โNo. What happens? THIS! There are faulty breeds bornโlike the one over there. Don't get me wrongโit's not Trelawney's fault that she was given a power she cannot handle and is stuck in a world she doesn't fit in. It's her father's fault for creating wasted potential."
The audacity!
Vivien leaned closer to Regulus, her voice harsh.
"Listen to me carefully, crรฉtin. Third time luckyโcall her any name again and I will rip your tongue out and shove it up your ass. You know what I think is a faulty breed? A proud snob expecting respect for something not only he but his parents or even grandparents didn't have to work for. There is nothing wrong with Sybill or her family. What is wrong is being so out of touch with reality that you do not see the obvious privileges that you have because of the last name you were born with. You didn't fight for your status and surely didn't do anything else to deserve it at all, so who do you think you are to be so full of yourself, Black? Your parents have the same grandparents, which explains why you have a shadow of a brain. But nothing explains who gave you the right to judge. If you ask me, authority in the hands of people like you is wasted potential. So shut fuck up."
Dorcas and Barty eyed each otherโthe two were eavesdropping on a fight, but it wasn't like the fighting pair tried to be subtle. They sped up to their seatsโfrom the shelves they pretended to search something on toโwatch the scene from a safe distance.
Meadowes approached her desk urgently and her partnerโs, Evan Rosier's, brows knitted together in confusion. She tipped her head towards Regulusโhis best friend.
"Five galleons on little Miss. It's going to be good." Evan glanced at Dorcas out of a corner of his eye.
"No point in betting, if I think the same." She responded.
They chuckled and watched. They saw Regulus scowl angrily in Vivien's face.
"You can't be serious. Protecting this? On the other hand, I understand. Your family always had a thing for freakishness."
Vivien unleaned. Even though she was frustrated moments before, she composed herself well. She snorted, doing her own little thing with the Shrinking Solution, instructing her finger over the cauldron to stir the potion with a ladle.
"Bold of you to call out my family for eccentricity, you inbreed. You have a lot of clownery to say. Don't you think that's pretty hypocritical of you to say what somebody is supposed to be or not and be the one to judge it when you yourselfโas a Slytherinโare not particularly the sharpest wand, or at least, I don't know, sneaky? Dodgy? Very. Sneaky? Not so much. But I see why you are not a Gryffindor like your brother, despite your great presumptuousness. There's not a lot of courage in talking clownery about someone behind their back." She mused boredly. "It's rather pathetic."
"You are not very brilliant then, because I found you pathetic from the beginning. We are a little slow, aren't we?" Regulus smirked sarcastically. He got up from his chair, planning on wandering away to his best friend to avoid the further fight.
Unlike Regulus, Vivien wasn't the type of person to creep behind anyone to backstab them.
"Black?" She waited until he faced her.
"What." He hissed, turning towards her.
Suddenly, his vision became green. He felt a sticky liquid on his face. He put his hand on his face to wipe it off.
Everyone saw Vivien splash the contents of her cauldron on him. She did it effortlessly with no regret or remorse. Barty and his partner, Pandora Malfoy, snickered at the scene.
Dorcas and Evan jumped to their feet. "Wicked!"
If Regulus' face didn't drown in greenness, there would be a red glowing from his cheeks.
"Bollocks, Vivien!"
"Miss Beauchรชne! Oh, that is an excellent Shrinking Solution, but it's misused now. Let me find tissues. It might be poisonous for the skin." Professor Slughorn disappeared from the scene as quickly as he appeared on it.
"Oh, I hope so." Vivien commented after him, observing him vanish in his storage room.
Students were cracking and she saw Regulus wiping her potion from his skin. She came closer to him, grabbing his chin, yanking him down to her height. She didn't mind having liquid on her fingers. Their faces were inches apart.
"Calm fucking down with cleaning your face. It's finally lookable at. And don't shit yourself too much. If I were you, I wouldn't worry that your head would become too small for your brain, because I doubt there is anything there to begin with."
Vivien looked around their worktable. She didn't tidy it between brewing and arguing.
"Oh my-" She heard Rosalie Parkinson gag loudly after she had taken ratsโ spleens from a cutting boardย with her bare hand and smeared those guts over Regulus' hair.
"We aren't so brilliant, are we? Not seeing all that coming. A little slow if you ask me."
Vivien felt his jaw tighten in her hand, a muscle jumping. He didn't even try to fight substance on his face anymore or at very least her.
"Merlin's beard." Everybody heard Professor Slughorn as he stopped dead in his tracks after he returned with tissues to help his favourite student.
And it was the end of Vivien Beauchรชne's and Regulus Black's Potions partnership.
Chapter 6: funtimes
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย Vivien sat curled on a windowsill. It was early evening in July, warm and bright outside. The window was open and she could feel fresh air embrace her lungs. But as she puffed a cigarette, her lungs became intoxicated again. She was watching a group of young boys on a street outside.
They were playing with a worn-out orange ball. From a distance, it appeared to be the size of Quidditch's bludgers. But it was kids from the neighbourhoodโthey were muggles. Instead of flying on brooms and sending the ball flying, they were kicking it around on the ground. Vivien saw that the boys split into two teams and that every one of them had their own role in the game they played, but she didn't even try to grasp the concept of that sport. She was worn-out, like the ball they were kicking. She watched them mindlessly for her own entertainment until she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
"Come in." She mumbled out, not caring to be heard. Certainly, she didn't turn her gaze away from the outdoor scene once the door creeped open.
And that's exactly how Regulus found Vivienโsmoking, tiredly watching something outside. He entered the bedroom, but she didn't even spare him a single glance. He came closer to the windowsill, leaning his side on the wall beside. He looked out of the window too, observing the same group of young boys as she was.
"What do you want, Black?" Vivien asked quietly.
"To make sure my guest is feeling alright." He answered. "You came very tired from the Ministry, excused yourself, and didn't show for dinner. I must admit you were missed at the table."
Vivien quirked an eyebrow at him and he looked at her back.
"Apart from that, I might inform you that my father and mother don't tolerate smoking in bedroomsโthey say it makes the bedding smell."
Vivien chuckled rudely.
"Your parents don't give a shit what I do here as long as I do it here, where they don't have to smell it. I daresay they don't care enough to give a shite enough to bother themselves about what you, their dearest son, do in your bedroom behind closed doors, so you can get it out of your head."
Her look on Regulus hardened. He remained silent at her words, his eyes twitching lower for a split second. Though he kept watching the boys, his jaw tightened, a muscle jumped.
Vivien wanted to bite herself at the tongueโno, she wanted to bite her tongue off. Yes, Regulus was her nemesisโshe vowed to him her hatred, but that time she attacked him so nastily just because, and it wasn't a good feeling to do such a thing. She didn't know why her temper got the best of her and she spat out at him those words.
But it wasn't long before it was all forgotten. Regulus dropped his back against the wall, looking around the room, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. It was summer but he was wearing a jumper. Vivien puffed her cigarette as she contemplated him. He had to sense the eyes wandering on him. They gazed into each other's eyes, figuring out one another.
"What did old Shacklebolt and Prewett want?" Regulus' prominentโthick but perfectly shapedโbrows arose together.
Vivien made a fart noise with her mouth like a bored child before actually answering.
"To ask if I'm secretly in love with you because our classmates stated that I hate you with passion, so they found it weird that we are friend-ing this summer." She answered half-honestly, her heart skipping.
"What did you tell them?"
Vivien stubbed out the cig on the outer windowsill, once more glancing at the younger boys.
"Since we are all still stuck in your dusty, crusty house, I guess only the best things, Black. I told them the only passion I have for you comes from a deeply buried love. I don't think aurors have an intelligence restriction because they didn't consider it got buried because it was born dead. But it's my pleasure to see your lunatic parents delighted." She beamed lightly in a fake manner, facing Regulus.
"Then why didn't you tell any of them anything, Vivien?" Regulus tilted his head, his eyes squinting slightly, intrigued.
She knew that's why he came into her room. He was interested in her reasoning for keeping her mouth shut instead of shite-talking the first chance she got.
"And what do you think I could tell them exactly, Black?" Vivien brushed her clean from cig through her hair.
"That you think you are being held hostage here by mad people. That you think my family is somehow involved in a murder of yours and that your mother befriended criminals." Regulus listed, his head tilting from side to side. "Yet, for some reason, you choose to say nothing. Why is that?"
"Maybe I got fond of you, doll. You would like that, wouldn't you?" Vivien smirked sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes and in that moment they stayed away from her.
"You really believe that it's only my silly imagination, don't you? That you think this, that you think that... Your shite-eating friends don't inform you as much as you think they do. Maybe you are not as significant as you think you are." She giggled at Regulus and how gullible he was.
He stormed her with glare, his ego aching that she dared laugh at himโthe Regulus Arcturus Black.
"Just because someone doesn't agree with your beliefs doesn't mean they're barbarians." He elaborated, his face scowling. "My father and mother are not the devils you take them for. For someone who is open-minded, you are quite close-minded. I thought you didn't judge books by their covers but somehow you've never met the people and already know whether or not they are guilty of the crime. Admirable knowledge, Vivien. Do you possess it from factual sources, or is it coming from your overconfidence?" He taunted with a sweet fake smile.
Vivien scoffed.
"Merlin's pants. I wish I possessed the talent of being as blind as you are, Regulus. Your ignorance is so deeply rooted in your brain that it would instantly kill your body to step out of it and live in the real world."
Her feet dripped one-by-one to the floor, and her weak body rippled away from the windowsill. She stood in front of Regulus.
"Enlighten me then, my brightest star. Why do Voldemort's peasants call themselves Death Eaters? From what I've gathered it's not because they work voluntarily at graveyards. After their work, I had to bury half of my family at one."
Regulus saw her body trembling like weak waves on the sea. Angrily, she gesticulated until she poked him with her finger, pushing him against the wall.
"You call it beliefs? What you believe in is inhumane. The fact that you are so prideful that you lack basic empathy for others is monstrous. You assume I am mad enough to think that I'm being held hostage here. But ask yourself, Regulusโwhat would happen if I tried to leave this shitehole you call home? Please, fucking share with me because I want to know if you think or just speak to listen to your voice."
They stared at each other intensely. Vivien's regret for the words she spat out before was gone. Regulus had to fuck everything up as always. She flattened her hand against his chest and clenched it on his jumper into a fist. He could not only see her tremoring but also feel it.
Vivien softened in sadness. Regulus saw the dying fury in her green irises and the exhaustion that replaced it. He had seen Vi in many states at school but he had never seen her as given up as he did at his own house. She was wearing her usual clothesโa small skirt and a tight shirt. She tied her hair with ribbon bows as usual too. But it was the same clothes, not the same person.
It felt intimate to see the girl acting so vulnerable in front of him. It felt as intimate as touching her soft skin or kissing her full lips. Regulus' hormones got the best of him but it wasn't right for them to go vivid because Vivien softly slammed her fist against his chest.
"Get out, Regulus!" She gritted through her teeth quietly, so only he could hear it.
Regulus studied her, trying to seek something in her wild eyes. He was looking for a sign to stay.
Soon, he bowed his head and left. He closed the door slowly. Once they clicked, leaving Vivien alone in the room, she punched a wall. She whimpered in pain and took her fucked-up wrist in her hand. She squeezed it to release the pain she felt. She turned her back on the wall and slid down until she sat curled into a ball. She sat on the floor and a tear rolled down her cheek.
Though more tears gathered in her eyes, she didn't feel anything but tiredness.
Vivien was so fucking tired.
Regulus heard a thump as soon as he let go of the door handle. He stopped in his steps when he heard a whimper and a silence that followed it. He lowered his head in shame and walked towards his own bedroom. He had done enoughโhe decided to give Vi some space.
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ย ย ย It annoyed Vivien how much her brothers trusted Regulus. Eden would not stop talking about him. Ambroise and Rosaire would mention how they played with him and their magical cards. Whenever Vivien's brothers saw Regulus, they would bug him like they would do to her.
Not Teddy though. He distanced himself from Regulus. Of course, Teddy would be the one to do it. Vivien wasn't jealous that her brothers found an older friend. It was a matter of choice and the faith they had in Regulus. It annoyed her that they didn't see him the same way she did. But another issue was that Vivien didn't know in what way she saw Regulus.
Even when Vivien ignored Black the best she could, he was living in her head for free. She was laying in the bed, and he was behind the wall doing Merlin knew what.
Vivien rolled out of bed and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She sneaked around hallways to not wake a single painting, so it would not start talking shite and wake everyone else. It was around two in the morning.
When Vivien found herself in the kitchen, she lit a lamp standing in a corner instead of the one hanging from the ceiling. She took a glass out of a cupboard and filled it with water. She sat on the countertop. It was cold, but she didn't mind. She curled on it. She sat there with the glass in her hand, zoning out, wandering in her imagination until a loud bang brought her back to reality.
Theodore bumped into a chair, rubbing his eyes. He sent an apologetic smile to his older sister.
"Carefully or you're going to wake shite-talkers, and they will never shut up about it." Vivien whispered.
Teddy chuckled. He came over to her and sat down beside her on the countertop. She handed him the glass of water.
Theodore drank it all and she observed him.
"You cannot sleep?" He asked, dropping to his feet.
He walked to the sink to fill the glass with water. And he gulped it down, leaning his back against the sink.
"Si. I would ask you the same but the answer is crystal clear." Vivien snorted while watching him. "Stop, or you'll piss yourself in sleep!"
"I'm a big boy, Vivi."
"About that, how is Eden sleeping?" She laid her chin on her knees.
"Probably good."
"Probably?"
"He's not in our room."
"Oh... he's just sleeping with ma then, I guess."
"He's not."
Vivien narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know where he is sleeping and it's not ma's bed." Theodore's mouth corners quirked sinisterly. He tapped his fingers on the glass.
Vivien snorted at his mischievousness. "The, where is he?"
"You won't like the answer I have for you."
Vivienโs face fell after a solid second.
"Don't tell!" She whisper-shouted. "He's sleeping with the assclown?"
"Eden admitted it to us and he pleaded to keep it a secret from you."
"What a little flea." Vivien scoffed. "Why would he do it?"
"Unmistakably, I would bet my life on the fact that you hate Bl-"
"Not that. I mean why would he go to Regulus when he has trouble sleeping?"
Teddy shrugged. They sat in silence for a moment until he yawned, Vivienโs legs slipping until they hang motionless.
"You go back to sleep, little bear." She slid down to her feet and approached her brother. She opened her arms, and he embraced her.
"You sure? I can stay with you." She heard his muffled mumbles against her shoulder.
"I'm sure. I promise, a few more minutes and I'm going back to bed too."
They let go of each other. Teddy glanced at Vivien, studying her face for a sign that he should contradict her words until he kissed her cheek and left wordlessly.
Isn't that weird? He's the one walking away from me, but I'm the one leaving him behind? Vivien needed to sleep badly! She stayed in the kitchen clowning to herself a little longer until she left like she promised to her brother.
Instead of sneaking back to her room straight away, Vivien crept towards the other door on her floor. She put her ear against a wood and heard only soft snores that she recognised as Eden's and Regulus'. She decided to lurk in his bedroom. She softly pushed the door open and lurked from behind. It was dark but Vivien saw two figures lying on the bed. A small body and a big one. The big body, which she knew a little too well, laid down on its back.
Regulus slept like he was deceased. He was even quiet like a dead. Maybe he was after Eden crushed his thin chest. Eden laid himself directly on Regulus' torso like a little cub. The two of them laid heart to heart, while Eden was lying on his belly, hugging Regulus.
Vivien could only see the view because of a moonlight from outside the window that Regulus didn't cover with curtains. She rested against the door.
Vivien would confess that she was melting at what she was seeing, if it was not for Regulus being a piece of it. She gazed at the view as if she wanted to remember it forever. And she might had wanted to do so.
Once Vi sinked in her own bed, the picture in her head warmed her to sleep.
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ย ย ย The silence Regulus left Vivien with didn't last long. Or it lasted for too long. Vivien didn't speak to him at all.
Vivien hadn't taken offence at Regulus for his stupidity and she didn't mean to treat him with silent punishment or something like that. She simply preferred not to talk to him to avoid getting angry again.
It was lunch. She was spending her time with her brothers in the kitchen.
Vivien liked lunch time at Black's houseโit was the only meal she didn't have to eat while seeing Mrs. and Mr. Black as well as her own mother. It was wonderful. Kreacher cooked soups for lunches. sHE didn't enjoy most of the dishes on the Black family menu, but Kreacher's soups were appetising and quick to eat. The elf always left a full pot in the kitchen for anyone to help themselves when they were hungry.
Regulus entered the kitchen and noticed that the table was crowded with Vivien's brothers.
"Oi Regulus, mate, will you join us?" Rosaire was the first to open his mouth, while playing magical cards with Ambroise and Eden.
Beauchรชnes had a thing for poker at that time. But Eden was too young to understand the rules of the game, so Ambroiseโas the oldest brotherโalways paired up with him and they played with one deck.
Regulus saw Theodore glance out of the corner of his eye at everyone, including the person, who stood at the counters. Regulus looked at Vivien too. Her backside faced the whole scene. She was leaning on a countertop, her elbows resting on it.
Vivien could tell someone was glancing at herโbumโbody.
She heard Regulus clear his throat to answer the question, "Later, Rosaire."
Rosaire and Ambroise cackled out stupidly but Vivien didn't have eyes around her head to see what caused them to erupt, spilling like lava from a volcano.
She felt Regulus around her. He wandered around the kitchen's cabinets to find a bowl, his warmth and presence lingering. She was standing like a sculptureโunmoved, waiting for her tea to be made. A spoon spun around a cup, stirring the drink. Vivien was very much aware of Regulus as he sat at the table to eat because his eyes were ebbing on the youthful lines of her teenage body. It lasted without an end.
Vivien was reading "Frankenstein"โa book by a muggle author named Mary Shelley. Even though she hated the dark-style interior of Black's house, she enjoyed this particular piece of gothic literature a lot. "Frankenstein" was her favourite novelโthat's why she had it with her, the rest of her book collection left in her bedroom at so-called home. She always took "Frankenstein" with her everywhere. She had read it hundreds of times by then, and another hundred times after then-
"I'm trying to eat." Teddy grumbled, his voice repelled, and Vivien could only imagine the grimace on his face. "And it's distasteful how you look at my sister['s arse] every few seconds, mate."
Teddy was always the most sisterly brother. My boy. Vivien smirked to herself, pretending to read. She was paging through her favourite chaptersโthe ones where the wretch told its story.
"I am not." Regulus denied defensively.
"Yes, you are!" Teddy accused again.
"Mama says that it's disrespectful to view a girl's body." Eden blurred out, focusing more on a round of poker.
"Regulus doesn't know a lot about respect." Ambroise mumbled out. "Girls in my year said that you are the hottest Slytherin but I don't think they saw you interacting with a real girl."
Is Regulus the hottest Slytherin? Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, visualising other Slytherins with her imagination. Regulus' best friend, Evan Rosier, was handsome, but unfortunately he wasn't her type.
Fucking Black!, the young witch concluded that Regulus could, judging by appearance, be the hottest Slytherinโin some third-year girlsโ opinionsโonly third-year girlsโ opinions, certainly none elseโs!
"If that was your way of catching our sister's attention, it wasn't the most impressive one we've seen." Rosaire snickered.
"I wasn-"
"Don't say you didn't try to catch Vivien's attention, because then it's even more distasteful. If it's your way of flirting, I think you just creep girls into interacting with you."
Beauchรชnes was not giving Regulus a chance to defend himself.
"I thought you were related to Sirius."
"Regulus is family with Sirius?"
"He is. Regulus and Sirius are brothers, like you and me, Eden."
"Are they?"
"We ar-"
"Well, maybe they took two different sets of genes."
They talked so fast and chaotically that Regulus didn't even stand a chance to defend himself while they went after his throat intentionally.
Though Vivien pretended she didn't listen, she did.
"Can somebody remind me what I did?" Regulus said, not sounding demented but absorbed.
Vivien took the cup of tea and took a sip, once it was made the way she liked it.
"According to Viviโbe yourself. A few days ago, she said that you probably look so dead, because every time you die, Arawn sends you back to earth to not deal with your audacity."
She spat the tea onto her book. She chewed on her bottom lip to stop herself from cracking. She felt a few sets of eyes on the back of her head. She ignored them.
Vivien heard her brothers' laugh out loud but Regulus cut in curiously, "Who's Arawn?"
He was interested in whatever Vi liked to talk about and he knew history and mythology were these things.
Vivien closed her book and with a cup flying after her and a book in her hand, she turned away and headed out of the kitchen.
"For Celts it's the celebrated king of the otherworld, the realm of Annwn, which is a place where you go in the afterlife. And Arawn is the god of death, who strikes fear in those who are scared of dying. He is also associated with fairness and autumn, which is the time of rebirth, change, death, and the wild hunt." She answered without acknowledging the person she was talking to.
But before she left, she turned one last time.
"Peace out, goofballs. Pas de taquinerie. Laisse-le tranquille." She winked at her brothers.
And she looked at Regulus with a heavy heart.
"Tรชte de con." She bowed her head while a faint smile swept through her mouth.
Regulus bowed his head politely, also smiling weakly. Vivien knew that he knew she had insulted him, calling him a name, but he didn't say anything about it. He let her leave.
"Later, Vivi!"
"It was nice to see you, sister!"
"My pleasure, boys!"
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ย ย ย Vivien was reading a gazette. The Daily Prophet had been alarming about Jean-Claude Beauchรชne's disappearance for over two months now. He was a great aurorโhe had gained international fame thanks to his work and he was also Vivien's father. He had been officially declared missing on May second of that year. The last time Vivien heard from her father was on Valentine's Day, when he sent her a short letter wishing her a lot of love.
Jean-Claude kept his work strictly secured to protect his dearest wife and children. Vivien didn't know what he was working on before he went missing or where he was. She only knew that her father had been on mission since November of the previous year. He was even absent for Christmas. The last time she and her teenage brothers had seen their father was almost a year prior, when he had hugged them before they stepped onto the Hogwarts Express.
"Mistress Vivienne may want to put that thing downโKreacher is serving." The elf spoke, bringing Vivien back to earth and away from the depths of her mind.
Before she could place the newspaper away, it already vanished into thin air in her hands, the dinner was on a table in front of her.
Vivien only saw Kreacher disappearing from the scene with a hiss of air. Regulus, Mrs. Black and Mr. Blackโas well as her motherโalready sat around the table after their town break with their shite-eating friends.
Most memorable events during Vivien's stay at the Black family's residence were Mr. and Mrs. Black's disappearances. It happened a few times. The first time they went away, they took Regulus with them. Oftentimes, he went with them. Once or twice, even Manon went too. Vivien was not stupid and she had an idea where they wentโor who they went to meet with.
She heard them enter the room and take a seat a few minutes before, but she pretended she didn't. She listened to her brothers running in the hallway. She saw them slowing down at the entrance of the dining room, while they walked towards their small table in a corner of the dining room.
When everyone took their seats, dinner began-
"What were you reading?" Regulus asked suddenly, cutting through the silence.
Vivien glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He caught her, looking at her too with his eyebrows raising, encouraging her to speak up. He put a forkful of vegetables in his mouth, waiting for an answer.
"Um... usual. Murders, some disappearances, and attacks on people. An average day on London streets, I believe. YouโBritsโare fun to be around." Vivien's beam brightened in sarcasm. She looked between Regulus and his parents as she complimented them.
"Light reading before a meal?" Regulus ignored her sarcasm, which didn't surprise her.
Vivien sliced meat on her plate, staring at him meaningfully.
"No, I was looking for inspiration." She heard a low chuckle escaping Regulus' lips.
"Vivienne." Manon warned.
Vivien could feel her mother drilling a hole in her, piercing through her flesh.
"So, Vivien, sweetie, how's your O.W.L.s?" Mrs. Black changed the subject, ignoring the conversation that was already going on.
"I passed them." Vivien answered laconically, wanting to finish the meal and hide in her room. She put a fork to her mouth, her lips already open, the tips of forks stroking-
"How many?" Walburga Black pursued her to participate in the conversation with her.
Vivien sighed and lowered the fork to her plate. The Black family had an amazing ability to ignore.
"All of them." She said stupidly, everyone looking at herโeven her teenage brothers.
Beauchรชnes didn't suspect otherwise, but Vivi never even came to them to show off, and then everyone completely forgot about their hers O.W.L.s.
"All twelve?" Orion Black specified, his knife and fork pausedโstuck.
Vivien only nodded her head yes, chewing the meat she finally put in her mouth.
"That's amazing, Vinny." Manon smiled proudly and praised her, her tone delighted with the news.
Vivien could only force herself to send her mother a tight smile.
"Our Regulus passed eight." Walburga tried to sound like a proud mother too, but it seemed to Vivien that she could not care enough to do a good job at it, her face twitching in a grin like it physically hurt her. "Without, uhโArithmancy and Divination he has never participated in, and Care for Animals."
She didn't even mention one more course Regulus didn't take at Hogwarts. Mrs. Black would choke on words like Muggle Studies. Vivien deeply mourned the fact she didn't choke.
"I told him years ago that magical care wasn't really a promising course. But you know how children are. He took it and the truth came outโI was right. But Regulus tried and now he knows it wasn't for him." She smiled at her son, acting like she said something kind, not dismissive.
Vivien saw Regulus looking down, his face falling. Effortlessly he collected himself and shared his mother's gesture. But Vivien noticed that he had a smile similar to hersโtight and fake. Once again, she felt pity in her stomach. She felt sorry for Regulus Black. Although this time she wasn't the one being cruel with her words towards himโit was his own mother.
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ย ย ย "Vivien."
The young witch passed a living room as she was walking to the kitchen downstairs after dinner. But Vivien heard Mrs. Black's voice and rolled her eyes. She needed tea badly to warm herself. It was ice-cold in that crusty, dusty house.
She retreated backwards towards the living room, where sat Manon, Walburga, and Orion. Women sat on one sofa, while Mr. Black sat on the other one on the other side of a fireplace. It was the middle of July but the fireplace was heating the residence. To be truthful, if Vivien hid in a refrigerator, she would be cosier. In her humble opinion, it was the Black family's hearts that cooled their home so badly.
"Yes?" She hugged herself for some heat, already wearing a jumper.
"Your mother mentioned you have a lot of interests and I know you are a very brilliant witch. Me and Orion are wondering about what someone as gifted as you plans for their future."
Vivien leaned against an archway, listening, barely stopping her eyes from rolling like she was possessed.
"What paths do you take into consideration?"
"Firstly, yes, my mother is right." She was not. Most of Vivien's interests were dead ends. She got easily frustrated with them at some point and didnโt try them even once more.
"I have some interestsโpainting, writing. I've been responsible for Hogwarts' journal in my fourth and fifth years. I like reading. In terms of school courses, I enjoy Herbology, Care for Pets, and Arithmancy." She counted on her fingers.
"Don't forget History. Vinny loves History." Manon radiated with her loopy energy. Her absentmindedness beamed so brightly that it blinded Vivien.
"Yes, ma.โ She sighed. โI love history as well. But to answer your curiosity, Mrs. and Mr. Black, I haven't decided anything yet. I haven't even thought about it. I hoped I would figure out my plans during my two final years in school."
Vivien lied.
"And fashion?" Walburga hinted at the obvious.
"What about it?" She knitted her brows together.
Walburga looked down at Vivienโs lilac sweater with billowy sleeves, a black miniskirt, and polka-dot tights in dark purple. Her look caused Vivien to look down at her clothes too, her face twisting in confusion.
"Your mother told us about your fascination with fashion." Orion said openly, smiling softly.
"Oh, I was fascinated with it when I was younger. Now my clothing is a personal preference. I don't want to influence fashion's directionโI don't think the wizarding world is ready for a transition from tradition to something more modern. Maybe in a few years from now on."
"It's trueโyour style is very... extraordinary. But I've seen youth move away from what we were taught by our parents. I was bewildered at first when Regulus began wearing jumpers instead of his proper clothes. He insisted that other kids were dressing at school like this too. I am friends with a priceless seamstress personally, and she says that a lot of young people move on from attire as we know it and decide to dress in a more eccentric way like yours. So never say never, sweetie." Walburgaโs tone was kind as she spoke.
Is lunatic hag trying to win my sympathy over?
It took a few more minutes before Vivien was released from the mental prison. But after she was, she had forgotten about the tea.
Vivien turned into the opposite side of a hallway than she intended to before. She noticed Eden leaning against a wall in front of stairs, already waiting there for his big sister.
"Do you want tea?" He asked.
"Why?" Vivien squinted her eyes suspiciously. "Do you want tea?"
"I want tea." Eden said it innocently with big innocent eyes. "And a goodnight cuddle too." He added.
Vivien rolled her eyes playfully and stretched her hand towards him, so he could hold it.
"First, tea. Then you can choose where we will drink it. Though I can offer only one hug for trying to outsmart me."
Eden and his big sister began walking away from the stairs, towards the others leading to the basement where the kitchen.
"Two hugs." Eden tried to bargain.
"I don't think so."
"What about the one for making it work?"
"You didn't make it work, little flea."
"But you are walking to the kitchen to make tea, aren't you, Vivi?"
"Don't be too cocky, or you will find yourself on my blacklist."
"A blacklist?" He frowned, looking up at her, intrigued. "What is on it?"
Vivien used to love mealtime at her houseโit was fun. It was a good time at Hogwarts too. But at the Black family's house, it was grief time. No, it was the wrong comparison. Graveyards were not as sorrowful as the mood in that bloody dining room.
Vivien always liked being by herself but she didn't like feeling lonely. There was no worse kind of loneliness than being in a room full of people and feeling isolated from them. In that moment, in that room, Vivien had no comfort in being herself.
"Vivi?"
"Eating is on thin ice. One wrong step, and it will no longer be a friend of mine."
Eden sighed heavily, "I miss eating meals in our garden with grandies, papa, mama, and you all like we did last summer."
Vivien and Eden looked at each other. She smiled and it tasted bittersweet on her tongue.
Me too, kid.
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ย ย ย A few days later, Vivien sat on one of the sofas in the living room, waiting for lunch soup to be finished. Her legs were tucked under her body. She sat in a corner of the couch, sketching silently. She was alone. For a long time, she didn't feel as inspired as that noonโa force of inspiration enliving her that noon.
"Sister?" Vivien heard Rosie, who stopped at the archway, noticing her spending time outside of her own bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Bambi joined, walking after him to the kitchen.
She didn't look up at themโshe waved the pencil that she was holding in the air, "Sketching."
They stepped into the room, looking around cautiously. "Here?"
"Yh-ym." She hummed.
She felt Rosaire sitting on an armrest beside her, while Ambroise sat on the sofa on her other side.
They observed over her shoulders at the sketch she was creating. Vivien looked at them two out of the corners of her eyes but didn't say anything. They all sat in silence, Vivien portraying the image in her head on a piece of parchment.
"Oi, is lun-" Teddy fell silent, appearing in a hallway, lifting his eyebrows. "What are you doing?"
"Sketching."
"And we are watching her."
Theodore came closer to them all. He stopped behind the sofa, wrapping his arms around Vivi's shoulders and placing his cheek against hers. He squinted his eyes at the picture.
"Is it Bla-"
He wanted to say something but Vivien didn't let him finish.
"It's from my dream." She answered shortly, cutting in sharply. "I don't remember anything else from it except that view."
Vivien saw her brothers share some meaningful glances because they knew she was lying. She was never good at it but that time they didn't acknowledge it. They observed her quietly. They were simply happy to see their big sister going back to her passion. She didn't do it for months. And the picture was quite cute. Vivien always had a soft spot for pretty.
In the picture, there was an older boy and a younger one sleeping together. The little boy was lying on his belly against the torso of the teenage boy, while they were hugged heart to heart.
Chapter 7: small skirts & mr. black
Chapter Text
[Trigger Warning: Self-harm, Abuse, Blood]
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien heard knockingโknock after knock. She sat in a bathtub, her back resting against one side, her legs hanging over the other. She was swinging her feet, a book that was boring her laid against her thighs. It was titled "Poems of a Pishogue". Vivien found it on bookshelves in the living room. It reminded her of another title, "Sonnets of a Sorcerer". She took it, wishing it would curse her.
Someone got possessed, but it's not me. Vivien puffed her cigarette. She saw Regulus lurking inside of the bathroom from behind the door. She didn't lock it intentionally. She was interested in how long it would take him to realise she wasn't doing anything private in thereโonly blocking the bathroom for him.
Regulus rolled his eyes at Vi lazing in the dry bathtub, fully clothed. He entered the bathroom, quietly closing the door.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Vivien showed him the book. "Reading, you perv."
"I've been knocking for like twenty minutes." He scoffed, plopping on a closed toilet by the bathtub and her foot swept against his knee.
"Yes. I've heard." She mumbled out, her eyes following the lines of some poem.
He rolled his eyes once more.
"Did it occur to you that maybe I want to use a bathroom then?"
"Then go and use it. There is like one on every floor in your dusty, crusty house."
"Well, I'm in one of them." Regulus responded, staring pointedly at her, his icy eyes piercing her.
Vi looked up at him with her big eyes. He sat with his hands in his pockets, wearing one of his jumpers. He was thin, and they were baggy on him. She gazed into his grey irises, and the pair shared a glance.
"Then use it." She shrugged.
"That is enough." He groaned, dropping his head to the back. "I'm not going to pee in front of you."
"Why not? Do I need to clarify that you have nothing I haven't seen already?"
He threw his hands in the air, frustrated.
"You're indecent, Vivien." He said in disbelief.
"So I've been told before."
Regulus stormed Vivien with a glare of his round wide eyes. She did the sameโher look more of a playful manner with how her mouth twitched.
"Come on, we could bond over it. Now you pee accompanied by me, and another time I do accompanied by you." She winked at him.
"Merlin's beard, please be quiet." He spread out on a toilet as a sign he had given up.
Vivien took the cigarette between her lips and placed a book aside. She scrambled out of the bathtub to the ground.
The bathroom was narrow and once Vivien stood, she was right in front of Regulus. His eyes dared to ripple on the lines of her body, while the back of his head rested against the tiles. His eyes stopped at her thighs and the skirt she wore.
"Your skirt-uh, it's-it's up." He said hesitantly.
Vivien's gaze lowered. Her miniskirt was a little furled and she unfurled it. She rested her arse against a washstand behind her. She took out the cigarette from her mouth and her head tilted as she and Black looked at each other.
"I know about the different effects I have on you, but shyness was never one of them. Do I make you nervous, Black?" Her tongue slowly wandered across her lips.
She saw Regulus' eyes flick on her face, his pupil dilated, his irises flickering. And she saw his Adam's apple bob. He shook his head in disapproval, ignoring her provocations.
"Did you steal my father's cigarettes?"
"No, he gave them to me."
Regulus scoffed doubtfully.
"Then why are you hiding in the bathroom with them?"
"Someone told me not to smoke in the bedroom because it makes bedding smell bad, so now I'm making my and that someone's towels smell bad instead."
"That someone hoped you would stop smoking at all but somehow I doubt you listened to that someone's words, even in your own twisted way."
"I'm not lying. You can go and ask your dad if you're not believing me."
"We both know I won't do it."
"That's on you." Vivien shrugged her shoulders, putting the cigarette between her mouth.
They stared at each other in silence until Regulus asked, "Can I have one?"
Vivien studied him slowly, her eyes ebbing. After so, she reached for a pack, opened it, and held it out for him. Regulus took out one cigarette from the pack.
"Fire?" He asked, glancing at her.
Vivien nodded, placing the pack on the washstand. She bent down to lean over to Regulus. She grabbed him harshly by the chin, sticking their cigarettes together. They looked into each other's eyes. What Vivien didnโt know was that her pupils were dilated just the same, her wild eyes sparkling just the same.
They smoked in silenceโit wasnโt awkward or tense and thick. It was pacing, even if Regulus observed Vivienโs smallest move, his eyes lingering on each and every curve goddess carved her body with.
Regulus didn't try to hide how he contemplated her standing in front of him. Vivien finished her cigarette quietly and turned around to wash her hands. She saw in the mirror that Regulus gazed at her back shamelessly, and she felt his fingertips stroke the back of her bare leg and tug at the end of her skirt.
"Do you have to wear it around here? Those small skirts of yours? I've had enough views of them in school." He complained, puffing out the toxicity of the cigarette and himself. "Everyone has."
"Muggles call them miniskirts." Vivien corrected. "Why do you care? Is it bothering you? Because you don't like my miniskirts? Or because you like them a little too much?"
She was washing her hands, wanting to wash away the smell of two cigarettes she had smoked, when she felt a warmth against her back. She saw two hands on both sides of the washstand that imprisoned her between. She turned off the faucet, shaking off the water from her hands. She looked at Regulus in a mirror. He was towering over her, hovering over her back. Slowly, she faced him, pressing her arse into the washstand to put some distance between their bodies.
They looked into each other's eyes once more. No matter how hard they tried, they never could stop looking at each other. Vivien tilted her head. Regulus took the cigarette from his mouth.
"Why do you wear them? There's no one here to impress."
Vivien could smell his toxic breath and she felt the warmth of it on her face.
"Maybe I wear them because I like them on me. My beauty impresses me and that's enough."
"Is that so?"
"No, I'm obviously lying. I am wearing it for your dad." She smiled cutely, her eyes guiltless and innocent. She looked at Regulus through her lashes with those big sinless eyes of hers.
He clicked his tongue, the corners of his lips quivering. He was quite amused.
"How do you think I got this pack of cigarettes?" She mocked more, her eyes unwillingly voyaging on his faceโto his thinner lips.
"For my father, you say?"
Vivien felt Regulus' free hand on her waist. He grasped her tightly and she felt something building in her chest. Excitement. She knew he didn't squeeze her so strongly to hurt herโit was out of frustration that she caused him.
Their eyes locked.
"I guess you have the same typeโmaybe that's a family thing." She whispered. "It seems I gave a chance to the wrong Black the first time. Because your dad knows how to treat me properlyโwhen to shut the fuck up for example."
Vivien grabbed Regulus by his waist and yanked him closer, his eyes flickered wishfully. He gasped at her nails digging into his skin through his jumper. Vivien wasn't confident whether or not it was a good idea until his grey eyes shone like a sun through a cloud on a gloomy day. He threw his cigarette in the washstand behind her, his other hand grasping her figurine too. His touch on her was burning, but the thing was Vivian liked to play with fire. He leaned closer towards her, exploringly. She bit her bottom lip.
Regulus leaned and leaned in. Truthfully, Vivien missed his touch more than she would admit. She was thirsty for it but she was nervous about letting Regulus Black into her personal space after what he had done. She felt her heart thud and the thrill that she felt in her chest quickly turned into fear, aching her. She felt how her breathing became shallow and she could barely swallow her saliva through her closing throat. She dug her fingers into Regulusโ flesh deeper. As his nose stroked hers, she panicked.
She turned her head away, shutting her eyes. His lips met her cheek flatly until she felt his hair tickle her neck. He lowered his head into her shoulder. Deep inside, she wanted to brush his curls. She just let go of him, feeling his hands loosen on her too.
"I am sorry, Vivien." She heard Regulus whisper. "I truly am."
Anxious spasms went through her body. Without a doubt he could feel it but he didn't do anything. He stayed with Vivien, his warmth embracing her.
"I know you are." Vi nodded her head weakly, shedding a single tear. "I do but I-I-It's-I can't-I just-" She couldn't form her words or collect her thoughts at that.
"I just want to leave now." She mumbled out finally.
"Of course." Regulus whispered back in a soothing tone.
He separated from her, observing her attentively with his gentle eyes. She didn't glance at him once. She walked away quickly and almost ran through the door.
Unfortunately Vivien ran straight into Walburga, who was passing the bathroom on the teenagers floor for an unknown reason. She was probably searching for Regulus to have yet another mysterious talk in the drawing room.
"Sweetheart, are you alright?" She asked and Vivien felt her hands on her arms holding her to stop her from escaping.
Walburga looked between her and inside the bathroom.
"I'm alrightโI-I am." Vivien answered, nodding her head panicking, when her voice cracked from frightโnot because of Regulus but because of his mother. She wiped her cheek quickly.
"Regulus, what did you do to her?!" Walburga scolded anyway, ignoring Vivien after she noticed her son in the bathroom Vivien ran away from.
Vivienโs head snapped around and she looked at Regulus, her eyes rounding and widening. He was white like a ghost like he died and his soul left his body.
Vivien looked at Walburga, whose face was red like she had boiled out of madness, nearly steaming. Vivien felt her stomach do a flip. She felt nauseous, sour bile on her tongue. She was aware of what Mrs. Black and Mr. Black were capable ofโafter the older Black showed at Potters' on 75โ Christmas, all beaten.
"Regulus didn't do anything, Mrs. Black. Nothing happened. I-I swear, he didn't do anything to me." Vivien blurred out, shaking her head to emphasise how wrong Walburga was with her assumption.
"Go to your room, Vivien, sweetie." Walburga only spared her a single look.ย
"It's-I-I-" Vivien glanced between her and Regulus with teary eyes, her vision blurring. The younger Black cocked his head as a sign for her to leave.
Vivien turned away from him and his mother, going towards her room, biting on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from sobbing because she realised it was her fault.
Vivien closed her bedroom door, hearing two sets of footsteps. Walburga took Regulus somewhere, probably anywhere private like the drawing room.
Vivien stopped herself from crying. She had no right to weep. She slammed her fist rapidly on the desk and let go of the foolish sadness, muffling her whines.
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ย ย ย ย ย During dinner, Mrs. and Mr. Black didn't even acknowledge a chair beside Vivien.
Her brothers kept sending her concerned glances after seeing her so miserable. Vivien asked the old couple where their son was to which Orion only responded, "After his punishment, Regulus felt ashamed and decided to stay in his bedroom for the rest of the evening. He didn't feel so good anymore."
Manon looked between everyone stupified, nearly forgetting that a table lacked presence. After a sharp stare from Walbruga, she went back to her loopiness. The first to leave the table were Regulus' parents.
Vivien was the last one to.
"Now." Ambrosie told Theodore and Rosaire to leave.
When they were passing their older sister, they stopped to kiss her cheeks. She smiled faintly, and they left.
Ambrosie wanted Eden to do the same, but the little boy insisted on staying.
Ambrosie and Eden come closer to Vivien, sitting down on her sides.
"Is everything alright?" Bambi questioned quietly but forwardly, knowing it wasnโt.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
"Are you too worried about Regulus?" Eden mumbled out nervously.
Vivien lowered her eyebrows in confusion, looking at him with tears in her eyes. Bambi looked at him with the same face.
"Why are you worried about Regulus, Eden?"
"I think he did something foully because his parents punished him ugly." He whispered, his tone carefully chosen, his voice intentionally quiet.
Vivien and Ambrosie leaned towards him.
"Regulus didn't do anything foully, Eden." She took Eden's small hand in hers. She saw Bambi's eyes focus on herโshe ignored it, squeezing Edenโs hand gently. "Why do you think he did?"
"I wanted Regulus to read me his book about pets and he wasn't in his room. I went to the secret room because he was there before with his parents. When I was there I thought I heard something and I stuck my healthy ear to the door." Eden whispered and he winced. "Regulus' mama shouted at him that he had disappointed her this year and that he and his behaviour is bad for their family's re-po-tu-ta-tion. And-" He squeezed Vivien's hand. "I heard a thud. And there was quiet. Mr. Black said that Regulus humiliated their family and that he better get out of their sight. I heard Regulus walking so I hid. He didn't see me when he left the secret room but I saw him. He was hiding his face in his hand."
Ambrosie stretched out on the table and held his hand out for his Eden to hold. He accepted the gesture, holding his oldest siblings.
"Listen to me. Regulus did nothing wrong today, Eden. It was his parents who did something wrong. Sometimes bad people hurt innocent people like they did to our family."
"Are Mrs. and Mr. Black bad man?" Edenโs face fell in concern, slightly terrified at the thought.
"They are bad parents." Vivien answered sincerely, squeezing his hand to comfort him to not be petrified.
Soon, she straightened and took Eden in her arms, hugging him. Ambrosie brought them in his embrace, closing the hug.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't know if she was allowed to see Regulus after his punishment but she decided that his well-being was worth the risk. She climbed upstairsโthey both shared the floor anyway. But unlike usual, she directed her deaf-silent steps towards Regulus' bedroom and knocked weakly on his door. She heard nothing. She touched the handle, unsure if she should go in but the door creaked open.
"I want to be alone."
She heard murmur as she entered the bedroom.
Regulus was lying on his side, watching the sky outside the window. She was met with his backside. Vivien looked around his room. It was ugly like the rest of his home, dark, green, and gothic. She noticed one quidditch poster assumingly of his favourite team above a desk. One of the walls was covered with bookshelves. She was curious what Regulus Black read but it wasn't the right moment to look through his book collection.
"Too bad that I don't want you to be alone." She murmured back a little louderโonly for him to hear it was her.
His head snapped over his shoulder, looking at her for a split second. Hurriedly, he turned away.
It was too late. Vivien's heart ached at the red on his face.
"Vivien, please go away." Regulus groaned and she almost giggled nervously out of desperation.
Even though Regulus was undoubtedly in pain, he still found strength to be frustrated with her somehow.
"I don't think so." She said, moving towards his bed, scrambling on it like an egg on a frypan. She took a seat on her heels behind his back.
"You cannot listen, can you?" Regulus whispered harshly, his voice weak. "I want to be alone. Go away to hell or wherever you go in your free time, Vivien."
"Sorry, I can't do that. You either were or are still bleeding." Vivien didn't feel discouraged by his aversion to her presence. "I am so sorry that I provoked you and that your parents did something to you, Regulus. But I am not-"
He chuckled dryly.
"You didn't provoke me to do anything, Vivien. I wanted to kiss you and I'm the reason why you reacted that way to me doing so. Your brain protects youโI understand that. You don't owe me anything. Now you can go."
"Exactly. I am not here because I owe you something and it would be wrong for me to not come and act pitious. I don't care about that. I am here because it is not right for you to be alone, Regulus. So please, do it for yourself and show me your wound. And if you don't decide to do so, I won't make you, but I'm going to stay here at least for a while to make sure you stay alive. Your brain tells you it's more comfortable to be alone right now, but it's not better at all."
Vivien looked at the sky once her words were met with silence. There was a beautiful sunsetโorange and pink were mixing in the summer palette.
They sat silently for a few minutes until Regulus simply flopped flatly on his back. He stared blankly at the canopy of his bed, avoiding Vivien's eyes. Even if he looked at her, she would not be able to look at him anyway. She glanced on the side of his face, where there was a cut on his templeโit was around an inch longโit was above an inch but under two.
Vivien wasn't a professional healer but it looked quite deep in her opinion.
Stupid cunt. She scowled at herself because she brought nothing to take care of anything-
The door creaked open, and Kreacher crept into the room.
"Master Regulus, Kreacher came wit-"
Regulus snapped to sit up, glancing at the elf.
But Vivien felt his big eyes stabbed in her back pointedly, startled.
"It's fine, Kreacher. Vi is trustworthy." Regulus assured the elf, she looked down at her hands and rings adorning her fingers.
"You didn't interrupt anything." He added quietly, making her ears burn at such a hellish suggestion.
The elf nodded, dragging his big feet.
"Kreacher came as fast as he could and he brought supplies for Master Regulus."
Hearing those words, Vivien whipped around. She looked at Kreacher and the few things he had placed on a tray he was holding. She crawled towards him.
"Can I take this, please?" She asked, holding out her hands towards the elf and his tray.
If Vivien wasn't so watchful of the tray, she would notice the look Kreacher shared with Regulus.
Regulus only nodded his head in encouragement. Kreacher handed the tray to Vivien, and she took it, trying to place it on the bedding carefully. One of her hands was shaky and things slid around.
Regulus watched her strenuous efforts at concentrating. The corners of his lips quivered, heartfelt. When she placed the tray on the bed, she smiled to herself like a proud child. Even though Regulus was aching, the glimpse of Vi and her innocence relieved it.
"Thank you." She turned around to Kreacher again, bowing her head politely.ย
Kreacher was conflicted about Mistress Vivien's behaviour. The being bowed its head and headed out towards an exit.
"Foolish child."
Vivien heard Kreacher murmur something to himself before he left, while she didn't pay any attention to him. She looked at the tray and took a cloth from it. She wetted it with a saline solution. She felt Regulus watching her, and bashfully she glanced at him. She ignored his eyes and hesitantly put the cloth to his temple, her hand shaking slightly once it met his skin, fearful of his reaction to her touch and fearful to touch him.
Nothing happened. He sat still and her hand steadied too. She started cleaning the blood around his wound gently.
"Has your family owned house elves at home?" Vivien heard Regulus ask silently after a minute or so.
"We don't own anyone but three elves worked at our home. Poe, Dove, and Raven. Dove and Raven were the ones to alarm the Ministry about the attack." She answered, her eyes focused on his wound.
Regulus didn't ask about Poe-the-house-elf. It was obvious why Vi didn't mention it.
"What do you mean you don't own anyone?"
"I mean that we don't own anyone." Vivien felt heat rising at her neck.
"But elves have to be owned to work."
"No, they don't! They can also be befriended and paid to work." She protested angrily.
She intended to stab Regulus with her sharp like daggers eyes, but once she looked at him, she saw he wasn't being corruptedโcurious. He was curious. His eyes were kind and she had to look away from them.
Vivien always felt this weird sensation in her belly stir whenever Regulus Black was gazing at her that tenderly.
"I wish more wizarding families believed in it like yours do." He said, smiling softly.
"It's human nature to be arrogant. We want to think we are superior to other beings of nature, sometimes even to other humans because we want to be special. But truth be told, the most powerful being in this house right now is probably Kreacher." Vivien mumbled with her cheeks warming.
There was silence between the two teenagers until a candle in her head lit up.
"Is he your friend?"
"Kreacher?"
She nodded, wiping the rest of blood around Regulus' cut.
"I don't think he would appreciate me calling him a friend but he is dear to me."
Vivien smiled to herself. The couple didn't talk more, Vivien taking care of the cut so it would heal nicely overnight.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vi was cleaning the mess she made on Regulus' bed and he was observing her. Vivien saw that he was reflecting on something until he caught her right wrist in a gentle grasp as she was about to try and pick up the tray to place it on the nightstand. She stopped herself and looked at the slim fingers around her wrist.
"Can you show me your wrist, Vivien?"
"What do you mean?" She raised her brows, looking at Regulus, her stomach slightly twisting.
"I know you have injured it. That's why you wear long sleeves and jumpers all the time."
"NoโI wear them because your family's home is colder than their hearts."
The corners of Regulus' mouth quivered, but his face softened in worrisome. Vivien bit her bottom lip.
"Everyone knows your mother broke your wrist. I, and not only I, witnessed how you keep taking your anger out on it ever since it was broken back in May. And it happened a lot of times during these three months. I hate to say it but I was more than once the reason for that." He confronted her, trying to convince her to trust him that little.
Vivienโs eyes twitched tiredly.
"It's nothing." She murmured, shrugging her shoulders, wanting to take her wrist away.
Regulus let go of her like she wanted to not make her feel unsafe.
"If it's nothing, why can't I see it?" Nonetheless, he continued touching on the topic.
Vivien lowered her gaze, playing with a ring on her index finger unconsciously, turning it around to release some stress. She was avoiding his eyes from meeting hers.
"Why is it so easy for you to offer help but so hard to accept it? Don't you deserve a little care after you take care of everyone else?"
"I don't take care of anyone to deserve anything." She contradicted quietly, her stomach twisting again. "I don't need help."
"Everyone needs help sometimes." Regulus disagreed, taking Vivien's hand in his to stop her from playing with it nervously.
She felt only more nervous, her head subtly buzzing with anxiety.
"Ambroise says you were always a loner but humans are meant to exist together. It's alright for you to need help sometimes. Look at me, Vi."
She did out of the corners of her eyes sheepishly, feeling small and sillyโlike a lambโa prey, while Regulus looked at her directlyโbravely, boldly, bluntly. Like a lion. Like a predatorโa master hunter.
But something was different about it than with other boys. His eyes werenโt as courageous as the action itself. They were gentle, kindly drawing her face like a brush against a canvas.
"When you came here you said that my brain tells me it's more comfortable to be alone but in reality it's not better. You know it because your brain constantly tells you the same, doesn't it? But you know it's not right. You don't have to listen to it. It's lying to you sometimes, Vivien."
Vivien dwelled with herself about whether she should or shouldn't accept Regulus' help, though she knew he was right. With a sigh, she nodded her head. She raised her chin, decided that she needed someone else to take a look at her wrist. He released her hand.
For the whole stay at the Black Family residence, Vivien witch kept using her right hand but she was born left-handed and her left hand was being used a little to not at all.
Vivien rolled up the sleeve of her shirt, exposing her left arm. She stretched it out towards Regulus. The couple looked between each other and at her wrist in understanding Vivien was ready to be seen and Regulus was ready to see her.
There were bruises of different colours around her wrist, decorating it like a bracelet.
"Merlin, Vi." Regulus examined it, face softening instantly. "Did you hit something with it today?"
Vivien smiled sadly. "I think we both know the answer to it."
"Can I touch it?"
She nodded her head. He took the wrist in his hand and stroked it with his fingers. She only stilled subtly.
"Doesn't it hurt you at all?" He was conflicted at the lack of her reaction to his touchโeven if he was careful with itโbecause he had no doubt she was in horrible pain.
Vivien frowned with her whole face.
"Obviously, it does. It hurts so bad that I want to cut my whole arm off half of the time."
"I wouldn't say it was obvious from your reaction." Regulus murmured and she frowned harder, yet not questioning him or what he meant. "Have you ever fully healed it?"
"The first time at St Mungo's, a nice nurse fixed it. And after I punched you Flitwick sent me to Madame Pomfrey and she did."
"You broke your wrist on me?" Regulus cracked and Vivien only rolled her eyes.
"My wrist is so wobbly after my mama crushed it that I could break it on air by swinging on it."
"You said it yourself, Vi. It's broken."
"It is not!" She protested at his suspicion, not believing.
"It is, Vi. As a quidditch player, I've seen some broken bones and had one or two myself and they didn't even look as crappy as your hand."
Vivien giggled foolishly at hearing Regulus call her hand crappy.
He looked at her, astonished and slightly stupified.
"Why are you laughing?"
"I don't know." She said, humoured anyway.
They laughed at her silliness.
Regulus grinned because she was still capable of laughing like she always did, even in the shitty situation they both found themselves in.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus woke between six and seven in the morning. He laid on his side, feeling a presence behind him. Someone was curled into a ball against his back, and he felt a hot hand on his hipโslipped under the band and fabric of his boxers.
He glanced over his shoulder and saw Vi laying off all pillows. Only her hair and forehead were sticking out from under a blanket that the two of them shared at night. Regulus removed her hand from his trousers to get out of bed slowly, making sure he wouldn't wake her accidentally.
Though the pair slept in clothes from the day before and Vi tossed around on the bed in her sleep so much that Regulus could swear that at some point she kicked him in the back of his head with her foot, waking him, he felt impressively well-rested.
He sneaked out of his own bedroom into the bathroom to take off a dressing from his forehead and went downstairs to a kitchen where Kreacher, without asking a question, prepared for him two teaโone black and one minty with honey.
When Regulus snuck upstairs to his bedroom, he heard voices coming from Vivien's bedroom. The two cups following him behind, floating in air, ignored it all and flew to his own bedroom directly, opening the door for themselves and closing it behind.
In the meantime, Regulus opened the other door cautiously.
"Eden, she's not hiding in a wardrobe. Why would she?" Teddy stood over his little brother, who kept looking through hanging clothes, hoping his big sister sat hidden between them.
Ambrosie and Rosiare were lying across Vivien's bed with their heads dangling down, looking outside a window at the morning sky upside down.
"Maybe she got scared of the monster from under her bed." Eden babbled out, worried about his big sister.
"I hate to say it but if any monster lived under Vivi's bed, it would be the one to be scared."
Regulus chuckled at Rosaire's remark. Beauchรชnes looked forcefully towards the door where he was. Rosaire and Ambroise propped on their arms against the mattress, squinting their eyes at the intruder.
Teddy's lips twisted, "Black," His tone was edged and cutting, even before he had said anything, only to say, "Where is our sister?"
All the brothers stared at him accusingly. Not Eden, of course. Eden kept on searching for his big sister between her clothes. The situation turned out awkward for teenage Regulus.
"She's in my bedroom." Regulus admitted blankly, unwilling to say something like that out loud.
Rosaire and Ambroise sat up. Teddy crossed his arms over his chest. Eden slammed the wardrobe doors loudly and turned around to face Regulus.
"Lead the way, then." Ambrosie told Black mistrustfully.
Regulus compressed his lips in a tight smile and bowed his head. He walked away and Vivien's brothers followed after him, looming over him like shadows.
"What is Vivi doing in your room?"
Regulus stopped in front of the closed door to his bedroom, and turned to the Beauchรชne brothers to let them see his eyes rolling.
"She's sleeping." He answers correctlyโlaconically, diplomaticallyโnot sharing details.
"Don't roll your eyes, sneak. We have reason not to trust you with our sister." Ambroise pointed out, poking him with a finger at his shoulder.
"Do we?" Eden asked, intrigued with the secret. He didn't understand what was going on while all the teenagers looked at him. "I sleep with Regulus too sometimes. He snorted once, but he's not that bad of a companion after all."
"It's not about what kind of sleeper Regulus i-" Ambroise began explaining, but Rosaire interrupted.
"Maybe it is about what kind of 'sleeper' Regulus is." He wiggled his eyebrows, nudging him.
Regulus' brain exploded at malfunction, feeling himself paling, his body becoming hollow.
"Shut up." Theodore slapped Rosaire in the back of the head.
He turned to poor little Eden.
"Don't listen to him, Eden. It's about what-" He took a second to think about his own choice of words. "What kind of boyfriend Regulus is."
He tried to be tactful with Eden.
Regulus felt heat everywhere, hearing Ambroise, Theodore, and Rosaire talking. He hadn't considered before that they knew about that stupid, cursed rumour that stretched after him like a shadow. It was most definitely humblingโto realise that of course Vivien's brothers knew about it all.
"Vivi and Regulus are boyfriend and girlfriend?" Eden frowned.
"We're not." Regulus shook his head messily.
"Explain it to him better then." Ambroise snapped at him.
"They're not, but they did girlfriend and boyfriend things." Rosaire seemed proud of himself, smirking and causing Eden to feel even more bewildered and estranged.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien listened to loud whispers coming from behind the door, recognising all the boyish voices. She rolled her eyes and closed them, pretending to sleep once the door crept open.
"See? She's just sleeping. All the clothes on." She heard Regulus mutter in irritation as she laid curled into a ball like he had left her.
Suddenly, she felt a shift of the weight on the mattress after someone threw themselves on it. She felt a little figure lay on top of her.
"I know you're not sleeping, missy." Eden smacked his lips on her forehead, leaving a wet kiss on her temple.
Vivien smiled softly, turning on her back, wrapping her arms around him.
"I'm not."
Eden laid himself on her. She saw out of the corners of her eyes that the other boys had guilty faces, realising she had heard them.
"You got scared of the monster from under your bed, didn't you?" Eden embraced Vivien, and she placed her hand in his hair, brushing it.
"No, I scared mine away a long time ago. Regulus got scared of his reflection in a mirror." She smiled firmer.
Her brothers chortled, bursting out like bubbles.
Regulus rolled his eyes, making his way towards the end of the bed where he sat down. He rested his cheek on the inner side of his hand.
Teddy and Rosie laid themselves on their bellies on one side of the bed with their legs dingling. Bambi walked to the other side, where he laid beside Vivien.
Rosaire glanced between Regulus and Eden.
"He is quite scary to look at, isn't he, little flea?"
Eden shrugged his shoulders, not caring that much about Regulus'his feelings or his beauty.
Vivien, Ambroise, and Teddy snickered at the bullying of Regulus.
He threw his head back and groaned, "Did you all come into my room just to insult me?"
Regulus' question made Eden perk up. He sat up on Vivien. She raised her brows at such a reaction.
"Vivi didn't. If you are a girlfriend and boyfriend, she must think you're enjoyable to look at because otherwise she would not want to sleep with you."
Beautifully worded, she bit her bottom lip and looked between all the teenage boys with lifted eyebrows. Ambroise, Rosaire, and Regulus became engaged in gazing at anything but her. Only Teddy glanced at Eden, a fussiness written on his face.
"We told you that they did girlfriend and boyfriend things, not that they were girlfriend and boyfriend." He argued angrily.
Eden's brows knitted together.
"I'm lost."
He looked at Vivien. She smiled at him softly.
"What does it mean?" He spoke silently but everyone heard him since everyone else became less talkative than they were before they entered the room.
Vivien rolled her lips into her mouth, but her cheeks warmed subtly.
"Wait-" Eden squinted his eyes suspiciously. "I think I know! You kissed Regulus on the lips, didn't you, Vivi? Like our mama does to our papa." He read his big sister like a book.
Vi grinned and nodded her head, her chest aching.
"I did. Like mama does to papa. But you can't tell anyone." She whispered, serious.
It was an inconvenient topic for a conversation for her teenage brothers. They were at the age of starting or already going through puberty. Ambroise, Theodore, and Rosaire were aware of intimacyโless or more appropriately to their age.
And Vivien was the one to answer their questions about girls' bodies and how they worked. It was like that since Bambi had asked her for the first time about periods when he was twelve and heard his girl-housemates talk about it.
Vivien knew her brothers felt awkward because she was the only girl in the room and they didn't want to make her uncomfortable. But she was used to itโall her siblings were boys. And the topic didn't shame her. I have nothing to be ashamed ofโshe repeated to herself. She felt safe to talk with them on such subjects.
"I won't tell." Eden promised. He proceeded to smirk smugly. "Is Regulus a bad kisser? That's why you don't kiss him anymore?"
He wanted to hear the most embarrassing details from Vivien. She snorted. Her little brother was a devil.
Vivien saw her brothers' ears radiating red as well. Regulus' cheeks and neck glowed pink. Eden was stirring and boiling them like they were some lost souls in hell and he was a reincarnation of Satan.
"No." She shook her head. "He became a bad friend after we kissed."
"Is Regulus a bad man then?"
Vivien shook her head again.
"He's a stupid boy." She told him.
Eden nodded his head in understanding.
"He is. Now all he does is view you. And mama says it's impolite of boys to do." He whispered, looking at Regulus to judge him.
Vivien reached Edenโs cheek to stroke it, smiling slightly.
There was no point in staying silent, so Regulus scoffed at the audacity, "I'm not viewing your sister."
"Yes, you are!"
Eden didn't mind Regulus' and Teddyโs verbal crash from a few days ago. Something else caught his attention, looking back at Vivien.
"Your wrist!" He beamed lightly at the sight of Vivien's left hand that she was using to caress his cheek!
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows. Do they know I hurt it?
"It's health!" Her exclaimed, causing all the teenagers to stop whatever they were doing and gaze at what he was talking about.
Oh...
Ambrosie took her hand in his and examined it closely.
"It is healthy, Eden!" He smiled happily, looking between his younger brother and older sister.
They do know... Vivien felt humiliated that everyone noticed her bad habit that she tried to maskโapparently poorly.
She saw Teddy and Rosaire smiling too. The corners of Regulus' lips quivered.
"The cute nurse deserves all the credit." She jabbed him in the chest with her foot. He grinned wider at her sweet words, his dimples sculpting. He winked at her, grasping her foot to massage it.
Rosaire pretended to puke, causing Teddy to slap him at the back of the head. Again.
Ambroise ignored them and glanced between two sixteen-year-olds, smiling to himself. Eden jumped and bounced on a mattress towards Regulus, throwing himself in his arms. He embraced him tightly as a form of saying thank you, causing Regulus to release Vivien's foot.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien saw her teenage brothers making kissing faces at each other, while leaving the room after Eden was finished cuddling Regulus. She shook her head at her brothers' goofiness, sitting, her back resting against pillows. She was sipping her tea, when Regulus laid himself beside her and rested his head on the pillow, glancing up at her. His eyes flickered friskily.
"So I am cute now?" He gave her a sweet but small smile.
She smiled against a cup. "Only when you're nursing me."
"If that's what you want, I can take care of you forever, Vi."
His words slipped so easily, but they caused Vivienโs chest and throat to tighten.
She lowered the cup onto her thighs as she and Regulus smiled sadly at each otherโbecause of their past it was such a sorrowful act, leaving sour taste in their mouths.
Vivien wasn't certain if Regulus kept using that sweet name that he gave her intentionally or if it became natural for him so effortlessly. Maybe he saw her as this personโa Viโthe Viโhis Vi.
It didn't matter because, even though it reminded Vi of all the bad moments, it also reminded her of a few good ones. She had no intention of asking him to stop calling her that.
"Sorry. It's just a joke." Regulus murmured, and Vivien focused her eyes on the cup, aware there was an erumpent in the room. She wanted to collect her thoughts without Regulus shying or distracting her.
She sighed, slowly speaking her mind,
"I know what we did was stupid and impulsive but it felt good, Regulus. It really did. I always hated you but those few hours you gave me are appreciated. Now whenever you are close to me I see this sweet boy, and that makes me despise you even more because I know you act like this spoiled persona, and I don't understand why you would want to be seen this way. What you did let me down and even now I keep saying that I despise you, but truly I don't."
The couple glanced at each other but Vivien had to look away quickly. Regulus' gentle gazes were making her chest clutch tightly. She didn't understand why it happened to her chest and how he did that.
"You made me furious, and maybe I should hate you, but I can't. I don't want to, Regulus. I will never understand why you do the things you do but it's not wrong of me to be emphatic towards youโit's only wrong of you to choose when you want to be sympathetic."
Regulus nodded his head, listening until she finished expressing what was on her mind. He smiled faintly and held out his hand for her.
After a moment, Vivien accepted it. He tangled their fingers together carefully.
"I could try to explain to you why I chose to be the person I am, but you wouldn't understand it anyway. Do you know why that is, Vivien?"
She shook her head, and out of the corners of her eyes she saw his smile stretching his face joyfully.
"It's because you're the only person you listen to. You always follow your beliefs because you are not easily scared. I daresay that you are scary and you don't need anyone's acceptance. I know you don't want to hear it but one of many reasons why I am in love with you is your carefree nature, Vi. I don't have the same power as you. But for yours I have admired you since I saw you for the first time on the Hogwarts Express when we were twelve." Regulus confessed.
Vivien kept glancing at him out of the corners of her eyes because she wasn't able to maintain full eye contact after his short speech. It was so intimateโpersonal and private. She felt how he kissed her hand, his lips tickling, her soft skin tingling.
Vivien tried to process everything he had said, or at least remember it so she could study his words later. The only thing she understood was that this was actual Regulus talking right then and there. His heart could be spoiled outside but it was kind at core. Somewhere deeper under than that monstrous ignorance that was rooted in Regulus could be dug out a seed of kindness.
Chapter 8: welcome to hogwarts, thilly
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย "This is not fair. I turn eleven this November, why can't I go with you?" Ambroise complained, biting into his sandwich.
The Beauchรชne siblings sat around a round table in a kitchen, eating their breakfast and the oldest brother kept grumbling under his nose and grimacing the whole time. He had moped around the house for the last month since Vivien had received a late letter with acceptance from Hogwarts. He was not pleased with the idea of letting his big sister go to another school alone.
"Believe me when I say that I don't understand what rules Brits play by." Vivien answered boredly, between taking bites of her lost bread. "Ask yourself if you would want to start your first ever school year on Saturday?" She glanced at him, quirking an eyebrow.
It silenced Bambi.
"Can we walk you to the express?" Rosaire asked and took a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth, his brown eyes sparking hopefully.
Vivien smiled faintly.
"I don't knowโit depends on whether mama agrees or not." She answered, looking away, while her stomach was twisting.
At the sink stood Dove and Raven, who peeped at each other, washing dirty dishes.
Vivien sighed. After finishing her meal, she stood up from the table with a dirty plate in her hand and came closer to the elves. She leaned her side against the counter, handing her plate to Raven.
"Dove, Rav, did mama get up?"
"Raven is afraid not, Mistress Vivien."
"Poe went to the master bedroom but they still didn't return."
The elves answered laconically. Vivien nodded her head, chewing her bottom lip. Ambroise glanced at her. She noticed him doing so and she looked back at him.
"What?"
"You are worried."
Teddy, Rosie and Philly gazed at Vivi, their eyes big and interested.
"I am not." Vivien contradicted.
Of course, I am! Vivien was panicking. It was her first day in another schoolโshe did not know where to go or how to get there. The idea of asking someone on King's Cross Station stressed her. It was muggles' public space and there would be a crowd of them and most of themโif not allโhad never heard before about platform 9ยพ. They would be no help in finding the right train!
"I'm going to check on Poe and mama." She told everyone with a subtle sigh.
Vivien left the kitchen and climbed directly towards the narrow hallway, approaching the door at the end. They were ajar and she glanced inside of the master bedroom. She saw Poe placing a cold wet towel on her mother's forehead. She was lying flatly on the bed, while there was a bucket placed at the side of a bed. On a nightstand stood two oblong bottles with long necks. Although the window was wide open, it smelled bad inside, Vivien grimacing at how the room stank.
"How is she?" She entered the bedroom slowly, arms crossed over her chest.
"Mistress Manon is having a fever." Answered the elf, when she approached the bed and took a seat on the bedside.
"I'm only a little bit sick. That's all." Miss Beauchรชne murmured with her eyes closed. "Don't worry, Vinny. I will be fine."
"Sure." Vivien said carelessly, her face neutral. "But I thought you would like to walk me to my train? Hogwarts Express, you remember, ma? I'm going to school today."
"Oh, it's first, isn't it? Of course I remember." Her mom sat up weakly, holding the towel on her forehead. She rested her back against the pillows, grey in her face. "I just don't think it's the best for me to leave a bed today. I don't want to spread all of this on other people."
"Right." Vivien nodded her head. "We don't want other people to catch alcoholism from you."
She scoffed in disbelief.
"Excuse me?"
"You already did that, mama." Vivien snapped and an unexpected force of wind blew through the window that caused bottles to drop on the floor and shatter.
Poe and Manon glanced between the bottles and Vivien, who only stood up. She marched out of the master bedroom, stomping, and hearing Manon sigh at last. Vivien slammed the door shut. When she turned away from it, Poe appeared in front of her out of the thin air.
"Mistress Vivien," They said with a heavy heart. "Poe is sorry. Poe knows how much Mistress Vivien hoped her mother would walk her to Hogwarts Express."
"It's fine." She assured, given up.
The elf took her hand in theirs.
"But if it wouldn't be, Poe couldn't be more delighted to walk Mistress Vivien to Hogwarts Express." They squeezed Vivien's hand gently, trying to show their support.
"No, it's not nec-" Vivien was about to decline the offer until it hit what the elf was suggesting. She smiled softly, looking at them. "Actually, I would love it if you could do it for me, Poe."
The elf smiled, pleased with that answer.
"Always, dear child. Poe knows it means a lot for Mistress Vivien and it's no problem for them."
Vivien did not want to admit it but that was true. She would never admit it out loud but everyone knew anyway. It mattered for Vivien. She had been packing her trunk for three weeks in advance. She had placed it at the front door the morning before, anxious she would misplace or forget it.
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ย ย ย ย ย Little Eden still slept in his crib, when Vivien came to say goodbye to him. She took a seat on the floor beside his cradle and rested her chin on the railing. She put her hand in her baby brother's messy hair and brushed it. Eden opened his sleepy eyes. Vivien saw his hazel eyes sparkling and a silly toothless grin at the sight of her. He stretched out his short legs and arms, yawning.
"Ma-ma" He gibberished.
Eden copied Vivien's actions, putting his small hand into a loose strand of her hair that was dangling. He started playing with it and tangling his chubby fingers in it.
"No, it's just si-sy." She whispered and stroked his cheek.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien grabbed an empty cage from her desk, while Lugh flew after her. He flew out of her bedroom before she closed the door. She turned around and took a last look at her. Curtains were opened and windows were exposed, the sun brightening her surroundings. She glanced at her white furniture and light purple walls. It was all cleanโemptiedโespecially after she had packed her things in the trunk.
She shut the door.
Vivien ran downstairs, nearly breaking her legs on the stairs.
Her brothers and Poe were waiting for her around her trunk, where the owl took a seat. The elf was stroking Lugh's beak. They all glanced at her tripping on the stairs once she took the last step.
Philippe came to her, his arms opening.
"I want a lettel evely day." He looped them loosely around her hips.
"How will you read them?" Vivien looked down at him, brushing his hair gently.
"Bambi will befole sleep. They will be my new favoulite bedtime stolies."
"I will write them for you." She promised.
Good luck, missy, Vivien heard, when Ambrosie was hugging her tightly.
A lot of it, Rosaire added, hugging her as warmly.
Teddy embraced her the tightest and mumbled, pleading to take him with her and not leave him with those two fools that Ambroise and Rosaire were. Vivien let go of Teddy with a soft smile.
She saw Ambrosie and Rosaire sitting down on the stairs. Ambrosie took Philippe on his laps. Theodore was the last to join them.
"Is Mistress Vivien ready?" She looked at Poe.
The Beauchรชne brothers waved their hands, when Vivien glanced at them one last time before closing the front door.
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ย ย ย ย ย Platform 9ยพ was not that impressive. Vivien did not know what to expect but a plain-looking platform and train were not it. It was an exhausting place to be. It was noisy and packed with strangers, which was very uncomfortable. Vivien noticed how some people glanced at Poe, who were unbothered. She remained unbothered too, carrying her chin and nose high.
At the platform, Vivien and Poe faced each other, smiling weakly.
"Mistress Vivien will be missed." The elf opened their arms.
She kneeled down to hug them. She closed her eyes, clenching on the little being.
"Dove, Raven, and you, Poe, must take care of each other as well as my brothers."
"Poe can promise to take care of Mistress' brothers and Mama with Dove and Raven."
Vivien pushed herself away from the elf's arms.
"As well as taking care of each other." She repeated it after the elf ignored half of the words she said.
Poe shrugged, disappearing into thin air, needing to return to the house.
Vivien shook her head to herself in disbelief. She straightened, looking around. She bit the inside of her cheek. Other children and their parents were saying their last goodbyes, while some students had already gotten on the Hogwarts Express. She searched for the closest entrance. Once she found it with her eyes, she dragged her feet in that direction with the cage in one hand and the trunk in the other-
"Viva-oliva!" She heard a voice she would recognise even in a crowd during the messiest quidditch match. She ignored James and he still crushed herโinto her, against her.
Potter jumped her enthusiastically, embracing her. She tightened her fist on the cage handle to not drop Lugh accidentally, who screeched annoyedly.
"Oi Viva-oliva, didn't you hear me?" Potter pressed his cheek against hers.
James Potter was always touchy. He loved cuddling and was always prepared to serve as a teddy bear.
Vivien was the complete opposite. She did not like to be touched. She preferred to initiate touch when she wanted it. At that moment, Vivien had to stop herself from groaning and grimacing. Instead she started fighting Jamie off of her.
"Oi mate!" Her French accent was gone, replaced with a British one that she copied after Potter.ย
He parted from her, eyes wide and round in bewilderment.
"I don't know who that Viva-oliva person is but you mistaken me for someone else, you putz." She scolded him and pointed at his glasses. "You may want to get new ones because these ones ain't working from what I see and you don't."
"Wait, are you serious? Oh-I'm-Iโm sorry! Yes, um, I-I have definitely mistaken you for someone else. You, er, you just look so similar to my best friend,and I thought that you were herโthat you were Viva-oliva. I'm so sorry."
Jamie stuttered out an apology to Vivien after she caught the attention of different people on the platform. He was gesticulating nervously, seeing out of the corners of his eyes people watching.
"Yes, I bet you are, mate." She rolled her eyes, looking away. She pretended she was looking for someone with her eyes.
"No, I really am." Jamie put his hand on his chest, where his heart is.
Vivien looked at his dramatic act, cringing.
"Dad!" She shouted, turning away from Potter. She began walking away. "Dad!"
"Please don't tell on me!"
"Sure, mate!"
"Really?"
"No! DAD!"
Vivien rushed, sinking into a crowd. She hid behind someone's parents and peeped at Potter. She saw how two boys approached him. Pete, her and Jamie's other childhood friend, and the boy that seemed like Remus. He matched the descriptions from Potterโs letters.
"So it wasn't Vivien?" Pettigrew asked, she heard.
And Potter shook his head.
Vivien also heard some sly giggles at Potter's traumatic interaction with a girl. After a second, she heard him exclaim, "Oi, Evans!"
She knew Evans as a redhead beauty named Lilyโa tiny flower that made Jamie appreciate mother nature, according to his own letters.
Vivien drowned herself in a crowd. After some time she began running over people's feet with her trunk, tired of it all. Her behaviour was met with groans and curses.
"Goofball!" Someone called after her, following her quickly. Soon, they stood in front of her, stopping her. It was a tall boy with warm skin of polished teakwood and long legs. He pointed his hand behind her.
"Do you not hear people cursing your family out?"
She glanced where he pointed, some people sending daggers at her. She looked back at him and nodded her head.
"No. I do. I just don't care."
He chuckled, "Sorry, but I cannot have a first-year assault other students' feet."
"They were also their parents." Vivien tilted her head.
He stared at her with narrowed playfully eyes like two arrows, shooting her.
"Are you on your own here?"
She shrugged. He sighed.
"Why don't I help you, little goofball?" He offered Vivien a helping hand.
She stared at it sceptically before she handed him her trunk. One of the corners of his mouth quirked up. They walked silently, voices a whisper in the back of their head. The stranger helped Vivien find an empty room.
"I'm Benjy Fenwick, the new Head boy. You are?" He introduced himself after putting her trunk away.
"Jasmine Pots." She half-smiled, a spark in her eyes.
"Do you have any friends at Hogwarts, Jasmine? From home for example?" Benjy crossed his arms over his chest.
"No, I believe I am what you call a muggle. It took my parents by surprise that I am a witch." Vivien answered.
"Muggle-born." He corrected, smiling softly.
"Whatever." She muttered, making him chuckle.
"I think it isn't the last time we speak this year, is it?"
"Head Boy's intuition?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Don't be. It's just the beginning."
"I take your word for it." He winked.
Toujours ร votre service.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien became at least thirteen different people. She was Benjaminaโor Jaminaโas her non-existent friends called her. She was Niaโthe last heir of the house of Yorathโa small clan in Wales. She was Erinโfrom the Republic of Ireland.
Vivien's issue was that she could not sit down and cherish the peace. She had chosen chaos and kept wandering, creating more of it.
She opened the door to another carriage. It was open without compartments and the air there was suffocating, unlike the rest of the cars. Still Vivien walked inside. A lot of heads snapped in her direction. She raised her brows at all the faces. With her chin raised highly, she walked further in.
She passed tables occupied by the sly-looking students. The table that stood out was the one where only one boy sat curled on one couchโhe had long black hair and a hooked nose on his lecture. For a split second, their eyes met when he glanced at her.
Vivien raised her head and was met with a girl blocking her from the rest of the car. The girl looked her up and down.
"Are you lost, silly?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest. "Do you know where you are?"
Vivien scratched her brow, pretending to think. "Hell?"
She looked at the two tables that she was blocked between. The group occupying them was of girls and boys. A few of them already wore their school uniforms. It was all the same. Emerald green and silver grey. They were from the house of Salazar Slytherin.
"Hilarious." Chuckled one of the boys dryly. He looked a lot like the girl standing in front of Vivien.
"I thought exactly the same when I saw all of you." She winked at him.
The boy stood up impatiently, blocking Vivien from behind tooโso she couldn't back away now.
"Show some respect to your superiors." He leaned to her height, trying to intimidate her.
She cringed at him with an embarrassed look over her shoulder. She felt embarrassedโfor him.
"Do you have any idea who you are presenting yourself to?" He continued, slightly hissing into her ear.
"Oh, I love this game! Let me guess." Vivien turned towards him and glanced among the group.
She squinted her eyes. They all lacked shades. They all had the skin in the whitest shade, like snow, as if it were never met with sunlight. The two siblings had blondish hair and blue eyes.
They could not be any closer to being transparent. Most of those Slytherins had hair in different shades of blond and light irisesโgreen or blue. Only the two girls had brown hair. Yet the most prominent colour Vivien saw was the black curls that one of the boys had. That's Black for sure, if I have ever seen one, which I didn't, so don't quote me on this. T he rest of them were of bland colours. Well, they are definitely native to Britain, if that's what they are asking about. The rest of the groupโwho didn't wear their school uniformsโwere dressed like Victorian children.
Vivien was white, but not that white.
"Hmmm," She hummed, pretending to think.
Some Slytherins frowned at her daringly and she clapped her hands together, accepting the challenge.
"You are the ghosts of the mediaeval children that I tried to summon last autumn, aren't you?"
One of the boys snorted and most of his friends stared at him judgingly. Not that boy with the black curls. He gazed at Vivien the whole time, unmoved by anything else, which was quite creepy. She ignored those grey eyes of his, when they were piercing through her.
The boy, who snorted, tried to play off his laugh as a cough. But he wasn't the only one being entertained. One of the other tables snickered too.
"They really do let anyone in nowadays." The girl scolded, outraged. "Mudbloods, half-breeds, and muggles in the name of some liberty."
Muggles? What part of 'School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' is confusing?
"That's big words for someone with a shadow instead of a brain. Please act accordingly to the amount of intelligence you have because you think too highly of yourself now." Vivien said neutrally, deeply inside ready to bite that girl's head off.
When Jamie had written her a letter after his first weeks at Hogwarts, he mentioned that he thought Vivien would be a Gryffindor because of her boldnessโor because he simply dreamt about sharing his house with his childhood best friendโor a Hufflepuff because of her strong sense of justice. But Vivien was wise enough to know where her place really was.
Still there was one house that Potter completely despised and disregarded.
Slytherin, which he called the root of all the prejudice in this world. Basically, he had meant Slytherins' stupidity was seeded well enough for them to see their inbreeding as an eternal glory they achieved simply by being born.
Vivien thought James Potter was being subjective, but in that moment she understood why he had every right to those biases.
"So what kind of dirt are you, huh?" The boy smirked at Vivien, his words dripping from his tongue like a snake venom. "Both parents are muggles or worseโone isn't?"
"I'm the devil kind." She winked with a shite-eating grin. "What kind of incest are you? Parents are siblings or worseโonly cousins?"
"Excuse me?"
"You are excusedโnow sit down." Vivien pushed past the girl, elbowing her.
But the boy grabbed the back of Vivien's pinafore dress. She stormed him with a glare over her shoulder.
"Let go." She gritted through her teeth.
"We're not done."
Vivien felt her heart fasten and then a thunderbolt struck a nearby valley that the express was passing. Everyone looked outside the windows, suddenly the sun hiding in cloudsโmiles of them. The sky was cloudy and grey, not blue and cloudless like seconds before.
"I said-"
"Let go of her!" Shouted someone.
Vivienโs head spun towards the exit. The doorway was open, and there stood a tall redhead boy. He was older than she and the group was.
"Prewett," The younger boy's lips twisted cynically.
"Carrow," The older boyโs lips craved into a fake grin, coming closer to the tables that Vivien was stuck between.
They stared at each other and the Prewett boy raised his red brow. Finally the Carrow boy let go of Vivien's dress.
"Come, first year." The Prewett boy tipped with his head in the direction of the exit.
He walked away, and Vivien followed him. On her way, she saw the table where two beautiful girls were sitting. One had a uniform in the colours of Salazar Slytherin's house but on her left side sat some boy with blue and bronze colours. On the couch across from them sat a girl with the same uniform in blue and bronze colours. The two were the only not-Slytherins in there.
The Slytherin girl had spotless dark skin and a bush of dark brown curls. Her eyes were the colour of honey, curtained with long black lashes. The Ravenclaw girl had pale skin and long silver-blonde hair. Her lips beamed radiantly in a smile and she had cute dimples.
Despite their different beauties, both girls had glowing skin like pearls.
The girls waved their hands at Vivien welcomingly, but it was in two different mannersโa cool one and a warm one.
Vivien recognised the Ravenclaw boy as a son of Mr. Crouch Sr.โhe was a well-known official in the British Ministry of Magic. Crouch Jr. winked at her. He was a handsome boy with boyish confidence and warm chocolate-brown eyes. Vivien smiled shyly and looked away from them all.
She exited the car with the Prewett boy and he closed the door after her. She rested her back against a window and he faced her with a sigh.
"Let me guess, first year and both parents are muggles?"
Vivien tilted her head.
"Muggles are non-wizards, firstie. And what just took place might be a lesson worth remembering." He pointed a finger at the door that he had just closed. "We do not wander into that specific car."
Vivien rolled her eyes.
"I could handle them."ย She muttered, irritated.
"So I've heard and don't roll your eyes at your elders. It's rude." He pointed his finger at her, poking her weakly at the shoulder.
Vivien rolled her eyes once more. A low chuckle came and she saw another redhead boy approaching. He was an absolute copy of the one standing in front of her. The only difference was that this had a more childish face.
"You are getting old, Gideon." The other Prewett boy commented, coming closer.
"It's those damn kids."
Vivien pressed her brows together angrily, straightening her posture.
"Excuse you? I was handling them two."
"What? You wanted me to let you fist-fight Amycus and Alecto Carrow, firstie?" Prewett stabbed her with his finger at the shoulder slightly stronger this time. He wore a signet ring on that finger.
"Wait, she really tried to do it?" The other Prewett pointed his finger at Vivien with the same signet ring that his brother had. She slapped it away.
"Yes, and I would mop the floor with both of them. It doesn't seem like they have ever moved a single muscle in their bodies." She pushed past him, away from the twin brothers.
"Oi, firstie, a thank you wouldn't be too much."
Vivien glanced over her shoulder at the two.
"Fu-nk you." She responded with a sweet smile.
She looked ahead of herself with a roll of eyes, almost bumping into someoneโa boy with black straight hair to his shoulder. She stopped. He was observing the whole situation, leaning on his side against a wall. He was smirking smugly, humoured.
"Is it 'firstie' or maybe 'firecie'?"
"I don't knowโask your brother." Vivien rolled her eyes. One more time, and they would be fixed in that motion.
He chuckled and looked her up and down playfully. She saw him studying her outfit, including a short pinafore dress made of dark brown plaid material, a creamy polo neck, white frilly socks, and brown loafers. She had her hair in half-up-half-down ponytails tied by beige ribbons.
"I don't think he would be your type."
"If he looks anything like youโagreed."
"You are fun, aren't you, fiercie?" The boy raised his eyebrows.
She kept glaring at him but it didn't abash him. Instead he offered her a hand.
"I am Sirius Black, and you are?" So that's Black. A one that is Jamieโs friend too supposedlyโthatโs what he wrote. Sirius Black looked exactly how James had described him.
Vivien took a moment to dwell with herself until she accepted the gesture, suspicious and sceptical.
"Bathilde Sweeney, for friends Thilly or Thilde."
They shook hands.
"Welcome to Hogwarts, Thilly."
"For you it's Bathilde."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien had to admit that after seeing Platform 9 ยพ, she had no high hopes for Hogwarts Castle but she was well-surprised. It was a picturesque view. The castle stood on a mountain and it was surrounded by a lake and green lands. In the evening, it was illuminated by a starry sky. It was giving her as much fear as thrill. It was cosy inside and the Great Hall's ceiling was charmed into imitating the sky outside.
Vivien stood in the crowd with all the first-years. She began feeling nervous when the group of eleven-year-olds kept reducing until it was zero. They were going in alphabetical order by the last names. Professor McGonagall, who introduced herself as Deputy Headmaster, stood at the side of a stool, where new students were taking seats. She was holding an old hat in one hand. She called it a Sorting Hat. It didn't even stun Vivien that some hat was the one to judge students' potential predispositions after it sang a song at the beginning of the ceremony and everyone appeared amazed by its voice.
In the other hand, McGonagall held a list that she was finishing reading off.
"And lastly, to join a second year," Vivien stood lonely by the podium and her heart thud.
She was not feeling as goofy as she had on her journey to the castle when she heard the students' astonished whispers.
"Beauchรชne, Vivien."
The professor called her and Vivien looked around, glancing around for that Miss Beauchรชne. McGonagall looked at her firmly, eyebrows furrowing. Vivien gazed at her, who encouraged her with a smile.
Vivien shyly walked towards her, avoiding anyone's eyes. She took a seat on the stool hesitantly. She faced the rest of the hall. Only then she realised how big the Great Hall actually was and how many students attended Hogwarts. She saw so many faces staring at her but her eyes were caught by Jamie and Pete at the Gryffindor table.
James sat beside Sirius Black, while Peter sat on the opposite side of the table with the Remus boy most likely. Potter seemed ready to fight Vivien, while Pettigrew laughed at Black, who was frowning, saying something in a scandalised whisper. The Lupin boy laughed at him too.
Vivien looked away, feeling something suddenly sitting on her head.
"Beauchรชne? Why so humble now?" The Sorting Hat remarked, intrigued.
Taisez-vous, she rolled her eyes.
"What a sharp tongue."
Vivien's thoughts went blank. She tightened her lips into a thin line.
"A sharp tongue, a lot of arrogance, and a great mind... Hmmm... Maybe Slytherin? Or Gryffindor? Too impulsive for Slytherin. So Gryffindor? But what about this empathy and compassion? A Hufflepuff then?"
Or maybe not?
"Or maybe not. With this witty answer and brilliant mind, you already know where your place is, don't you?"
The Sorting Hat asked, knowing the answer too.
"RAVENCLAW!"
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien escaped Jamie until the start of her classes the first day. She was walking through the castle, followed by her three roommates and Crouch Jr. They all offered Vivien their support and presence, but somehow she ended up unconsciously walking a few steps ahead of them the whole time. They were navigating her and directing her in the right direction for the class.
"Wrong. It's left."
"Now, it's right."
"Straight, Niamh." Emmeline kept teasing after Vivien introduced herself to her and Sybill by that name in the Hogwarts Express.
Emmeline, Sybill, Pandora, Barty, and Vivien were all dressed in their uniforms with bronze and blue features, walking towards the Transfiguration classroom.
It's Sunday, but they were supposed to have lessons that day?
"Oi, mate!" Vivien was jumped.
She heard James, who was trying to strangle her with his arms knotted around her neck. Jamie mocked me, but I was mimicking him, so he is simply being himself? Potter hugged Vivien tightly, trying to crush her trachea.
"Bollocks! You gave me a heart attack!" He complained and Vivien snorted audaciously.
"And you, little lamb, believed me." She choked out. He let go of her, hearing her suffocated voice.
And Potter noticed Vivienโs companion. He bowed his head at the four standing in a line.
"Hiya. You made some friends already!" He grinned widely, looking between Vivien and the other four Ravenclaws.
Vivien groaned, letting her head drop. Ravenclaws were exchanging glances between each other because of the weird interaction. Vivien looked over her shoulder and pointed her finger at James.
"I assume you already know this ass."
"Oh, everyone knows Potter." Remarked Emmeline with a sarcastic smirk.
James laid his hand on his heart, insulted with the tone.
"The question is, why do you know Potter?" Sybill asked straight to the point.
"Excuse me? We have known each other since nappy time." Potter's voice was full of resentment that such a question was even asked.
"Viva-oliva?" Mocked Barty and Pandora hit him softly on the shoulder, suppressing her own smile.
Vivien put her finger up. "Don't laugh. They were the only choice in the village."
James opened his mouth, more offended.
"Who's they?" Pandora spoke out faster, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Jamie and-"
"Me." Peter hopped his way into Vivien's arms, hugging her happily.
"Jamie?" Sirius laughed, coming closer with Remus to the little crowd. Potter's cheeks reddened.
"She's French." He murmured, pushing Black.
He accidentally landed in Lupin' torso.
"Sorry." Sirius murmured, quickly fixing himself and eyeing Remus, whose cheeks turned a soft pink shade.
Vivien embraced Peter and they spun in circles, jumping.
"Why is Pete getting all the love?"
Peter stuck his tongue out at James.
"I guess Bathilde Sweeney has her favourites and you are not one of them."
Vivien giggled at Sirius. Remus' brows knitted together, so did all of the Ravenclaws'.
"Bathilde Sweeney? That's how she introduced herself?" Pandora asked.
Sirius nodded.
"Black, it's your initials." Barty rolled his eyes when Siriusโ face fell from a smug smirk into stupefaction, his lips hanging, his jaw slack.
Vivien and Peter let go of each other.
"He seemed self-obsessed. Very arrogant and unnerving."
Remus snorted and Vivien looked at him.
"Spit and image Sirius." He winked at her.
At that moment Vivien knew Hogwarts would be fun, if every boy looked like the Lupin one with his fluffy hair. Her cheeks flushed subtly.
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ย ย ย ย ย After Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall asked Vivien to stay to inform her about formalities. Vivien told her housemates not to wait for her and it caused a lot of trouble for her. She got lost in the castle, looking for Potions classroom in dungeons. Finally she entered the correct classroom, she was trying to find it so badly, and many heads snapped in her direction.
"Bonjour." She saidโand the door slammed loudly. She smiled innocently at an old man who stood at the desk in the centre of the classroom. "Sorry."
Some students giggled. A few Slytherins shoot cold like icicles looks at her, especially the devilish twins.
"Please, take your seat." The professor sighed. "Quietly." He added under his nose, turning away to the blackboard.
Vivien kept standing awkwardly at the door, glancing around at all the worktables. They were all occupied but one. Her forehead wrinkled as she was dwelling with herselfย whether it was supposed to be her seat. Some students snorted more.
Hearing that, the professor faced Vivien again.
"Is there any-oh, you are the new one. Miss Beauchรชne, isn't it?" He asked with a friendly voice, lighting up in his face, realising his mistake.
"Oui." She said stupidly and it caused more laughter to echo through the classroom.
"I am Professor Slughorn. Now, please take a seat-" Professor Slughorn looked around the classroom attentively. "Beside Mister Black. My poor boy seems like he could use some company." He pointed his hand at the somewhat free workspace.
One seat was taken, but the other was empty. There was a boy sitting with his elbow placed on a wooden table, chin resting against his hand. He smiled softly at Vivien and his eyes flickered at the view of her. Quote me on my words, actually.
It was the quiet boy with black curls from the so-called Slytherin carriage, whose grey eyes crept out Vivien. She slowly made her way towards him and took a seat on a chair next to his. Pleased, Professor Slughorn clapped his hands together and went back to his monologue, while the new couple of partners ignored him.
The boy turned towards Vivien.
"I'm Regulus-" He began murmuring.
"Black." Vivien interrupted him, finishing for him boredly. "I believe I have met your brother already."
"It's not a good thing, is it?" He smirked, hearing her dissatisfied tone
ย Sirius managed to estrange Vivien after not even a whole day she spent at Hogwarts.
What Regulus didn't know was that Sirius had estranged Vivien before they even arrived at the castle.
And what Regulus Black couldn't know at that moment was that he would manage to annoy Miss Beauchรชne even more effectively than his older brother.
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ย ย ย ย ย "What an impudent little assclown!" Vivien barked, throwing her bag on the bench beside Sybill, who looked at her with amusement, poking a tongue in her cheek.
Pandora and Barty sat at the other side of the table with two other girlsโthe dark-skinned girl with brown curls from the self-called Slytherin car and some East Asian girl with blonde hair. Interesting. Vivien had never before seen anyone from any part of Asia with natural blonde hair.
They all snorted. So did Emmeline, who followed Vivien to make sure she wouldn't get lost again in the castle on her own. Vivien childishly kicked the bench and Vance took her seat beside Trelawney.
"Partnership with Black didn't go well, did it?" One of the strange girls asked.
Vivien turned around to stare at Regulus from far. He was accompanied by other Slytherinsโthe other one, who stood out was a grinning boyโwho she heard being called Rosierโwho had enjoyed her jokes back in the train.
"He was smartassing the whole time! That boy seems as if he hasn't moved a single finger in his life and he's trying to 'let me crush this for you' and 'why don't I stir that'. Why don't I help you with crushing those stupid berries right up your a-"
"Language, Vivien." Benjy warned, passing her with his older friends to eat their lunch. Despite his comment, he and his friends chuckled at her remarks.
Vivien talked very loudly and they heard everything she said like other Ravenclaws.
"Language, Vivien..." She mimicked him tauntingly. "Do you know where I can put your 'language'ย right up, Benjy?"
Vivien was making everyone laugh effortlessly, everyone explosive around her. She was fun to be around.
"Threatening not only a prefect but the Head Boy himself on the very first day, Thilly?" Vivien stared over her shoulder at the approaching boys, who were fooling around.
"Bold move." She heard.
She peeked at the East Asian girl, but her hair was not blonde anymore. Pink, I like it! The girl was a metamorphmagus!
"I'm Marlene, missy." She smiled friendly, waving her hand.
"Vivien." The young witch waved her hand as well, but not so smiley.
"Oh, you don't have to introduce yourself." The dark-skinned girl smirked.
"And you are?" Vivien looked at her judginglyโVivien wasnโt judging herโbut her face had stayed frowned from before.
And it seemed her reputation had already outran her.
"Dorcas. Cas for friends." She winked.
"It sounds like a boy was trying to be a gentleman."
Vivien felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. She and Jamie eyed each other.
"A what?"
"A gentleman." Remus cracked, repeating the keyword.
"Yeah, nah, I don't need that." Vivien grumbled, her jaw tense.
"No doubt he knows that by now." Pettigrew assured with a chuckle.
"Who's he, by the way?" Sirius lifted his eyebrows, intrigued.
"Your brother."
"My brother?"
Vivien rolled her eyes. "Not yours, the one next to you."
Sirius looked to his sides. Seeing no one, he stared back at her.
"Hilarious."
"I know, silly." She sent him an air kiss sarcastically.
"Only for you." He caught her kiss in his hand and put it to his lips.
Vivien's eye twitched, her face grimaced.
"First day, and both Black go after you. You have a charm."
Vivien's head snapped at the Marlene girl.
"What." Her face fell.
Everyone laughed at her expression. Potter squeezed her gently.
Chapter 9: vi
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Was having sex with Regulus Black the best idea Vivien ever had?
No but the feeling of desire won over her senses. Her teenage body had won over her brain. Her hormones won over her survival instincts.
It just happened.
It was a beautiful evening. Spring was there and it was another sunny day. Ironically, nature was blooming, while Vivien was rotting. She was hiding on the Astronomy Tower from everyone. She was smoking her green. She had been experimenting a lot with Herbology during her fifth year, and on that exact evening she needed something to make her feel funny. Or rested at least.
Vivien was watching the sky turning from violet into indigo, tiny stars blinking back at her.
She sat on the floor with her legs slacked, a joint between her mouth. She was puffing from time to time, when she heard footsteps on the staircase that were leading to her. She turned her head, waiting for an intruder.
Vivien was undisturbed with a joint in her mouth. She knew there were no Astronomy classes on Saturday, especially not after a Quidditch match. It was only students, who would fool around the castle at a time like that.
It was a Slytherin versus Hufflepuff match at noon and Hufflepuff won. Although a seeker of Slytherin caught the golden snitch, the majority of a Slytherin team wasn't shite, and they sucked.
Speaking of the devil, the intruder running up the stairs was the Slytherin seeker. Vivien took the joint out of her mouth.
"Black, winning seeker of a losing team." She welcomed him very warmly with her sarcastic smile.
"Vivien." Regulusโ thin lips compressed together in a line.
He looked around like he was searching for something. He looked back at her, eyebrows raising.
"I thought you would be with your boyfriend."
She puffed her joint and inhaled the sweet smell of it.
"Which one?" She sighed.
"Whore," Regulus fakely coughed, making her chuckle.
He glanced behind himself, wondering if he should go, but his heart skipped a beat at the thought of staying. He let his legs lead him and they stopped beside Vivien, gazing at the view she was gazing at.
Regulus heard her taking another puff. He looked down at her. She inhaled a white cloud that left her full lips. His eyebrows knitted as she took a moment to think and her thumb brushed against her scabbed lip.
Regulus took note of Vivien's appearance. Her usually beautiful pink lips were scabbed from how she had been constantly butchering them in nerves and fears lately.
"You call me a whore, yet you didn't make it into my panties." The couple eyed each other. "Jealous, Black?"
"Very." He smirked arrogantly.
Bastard. Vivien thought. She knew what mood he was inโa provocative one. Sometimes, to get under her skin, Black would flirt with her to boil her blood. It was a part of their everyday ritualโfighting.
"Am I that easy to read?" Regulus asked, taking a seat beside her in a similar position to hers.
"Black, I've read more complicated children's picture books than you."
He chuckledโhe didn't suspect less from Vivien than to insult him in her good old style.
She puffed and took a deep breath of the white cloud she created.
"At best, you're a book about colours for a very stupid child."
Vivien came to the Astronomy classroom to spend her time alone and escape a party in the Hufflepuff common room, where Edgar, Z, and the rest of her friends had tried to drag her. She didn't want to party.
Still as soon as someone joined her in the Astronomy Tower, Vivien realised she wanted to have someone around. The issue was that every one of Vivien's schoolmates annoyed herโthey were careful around her.
Vivien didn't see herself as a victim. She felt nothing like that, and they all tried to make her feel that way after everything that had happened that year. Her friends frustrated her and she was already furious.
"No Slytherin party?" Vivien asked Regulus lightly, glancing at him.
"There is a shitty one. I was hiding in my dormitory until Cas and Panda dragged me out of it. Everyone tried to keep an eye on me, but Evan went after drinks and the rest went dancing, so I took my chance. Unfortunately I saw Mulciber taking a girl to our dormitory. It was an obvious hiding spot anyway. So here I am."
Vivien slowly smoked her joint, listening to Regulus. Suddenly, he did something surprising. He put his hand to her lips, took the joint, and put it between his own lips. Vivien protested as he was stealing it from her. She tried to fight him and stop him from putting it in his mouth, but he acted as stubbornly.
Regulus took a puff, tasting something new. He took the joint out of his mouth and studied that thing closely.
"What is it?"
"Now? It's wasted." She scoffed, facing the sky.
Regulus put the joint between his lips and kept smoking it. He was staring annoyingly at Vivien, drilling a hole in her with his eyes as sharp as icicles.
Regulus had smoked cigarettes before and once or twice tried muggle weed with his friends but whatever Vivien was smoking was completely new to him.
Vivien felt those icy grey eyes piercing her. Before she stared back at Regulus, she threw her head back with a groan.
"It's a mixture of four plants."
"Do I want to know which ones?"
"Oh, I hope it's every single one that you're allergic to, Black."
Regulus laughed.
"I can taste and smell lavender in it. Not allergic to that one." He puffed, and a few seconds later his nose was full of sweetness, his lungs intoxicated.
Vivien watched him gazing at the stars.
"Yeah, it's for exactly thatโtasting and smellingโotherwise the thing wouldn't be smokeable." She looked away to observe the sky too.
"So, Vivien, why are you here and not with your boyfriend celebrating his victory?"
She snorted at Regulusโฆ Bastard, but a pathetic one!
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ย ย ย ย ย It wasn't the most brilliant idea to stay there and smoke with Regulus, but Vivien cherished the fact he treated her typically for him and didn't try to pretend politeness and talk with her about only Merlin knew what. After Regulus ended the first joint, the couple sat there with the effect of it settling over them.
Vivien felt like she was sitting on a cloud after she became a little giggly and giffy. In the meantime, Regulus became more chatty. He felt the weariness of his body disappear with which he was stuck with after the match.
It wasn't a brilliant idea to offer another joint to Regulus either but Vivien already had it in a pocket of her cardigan. After the couple smoked it, they quickly gave up on sitting. They laid down on a stone-cold floor. Vivien took her cardigan off and put it under her head like a pillow.
She appreciated that Regulus didn't care enough to bother her about serious subjects. They simply bantered and talked absolute shite about each otherโor Vivien did about Regulus and he let her.
Under Vivien's brown cardigan, she was only wearing a dress with bell-shaped sleeves. It was made of material with a floral pattern in orange, red, and pink coloursโwhich brought out Vivienโs coloursโher tan, her brown hair, and the redness of her cheeks.
Regulus admired her, while they laid. Vivien herself was facing the ceiling of the classroom. The couple had completely forgotten by then about the beautiful view they had in front of them. Regulus thought that he had the most beautiful view in front of him only right then and there!
Vivien watched burning candles float above them. She asked Regulus to light them, so they would not rest in darkness.
Black laid on his side, his cheek resting in his hand. His eyes wandered along Vivien's figure and back to her bright smile as her lips moved,
"To be honest about a question from before-before." Vivien spoke out, playing with her fingers, cracking her knuckles. "I didn't want to party. Everyone would get drunk in a crowded place. We would be sweaty and smelly. We would dance a little, and then it would end as it always endsโin a circle. We would play Truth or Dare." She turned her head towards Regulus, who was watching her. "First, someone would choose the truth, and everyone would boo them. They would get asked who they like and they would blush. Then someone else would get challenged to take off a significant part of their clothing by the person who was trying to fuck them. Then after some time, I would get asked or askโwhat is the kinkiest thing you've done in bed?"
Her green irises didn't shine at the thought but her pupils were dilated, her eyes red.
"Mine would be sleeping." Regulus became a little more bold and the words slipped on his tongue thoughtlessly.
Vivien tittered, "So I've heard."ย
He frowned at her words. She saw it, her laughter dying out into silence. She tilted her head.
"Oh, please, Black. I'm not the only one that went hormonal this yearโeveryone did. Almost everyone." She turned her body on its side to mimic Regulus.
Because of that they were facing each other, very close to one anotherโbut maybe because these two teenagers were high, they didn't notice that. Or maybe because they felt comfortable like this.
And maybe even Vivien secretly liked it because Regulus openly did. They observed each other.
Vivien elaborated, "You, boys, talk behind ourโI mean girls' backsโsome wild shite. We, girls, do the same behind yours. Alecto said some idiocy to her friend, that one repeated it to her friend, and so on. And then there was Fiona from sixth year and Sharon from Hufflepuff. And a rumour that your dick is the most protected thing at school right now went around. Which is respectable if you're not interested or ready, but few girls would sell their souls to share a bed with you." Some of them hoped they could share the status and fortune of the new heir of the noble house of Black as well.
"I guess I don't want allโor anyโof them in my bed then." Regulus squinted his eyes playfully.
"That's fine but it is surprising because from my understanding purity is a girly thing in courting. Boys usually use dicks before getting marriedโgirls are meant to remain virgins. And everyone knows that your parents are looking for the perfect match for your perfect family."
Vivien felt a candle in her head lit up, eyes sparking golden at Regulus.
"Waitโฆ is it it? Did I misjudge you, Black? Are you a hopeless romantic? Waiting for a special first time with your lovely, petite bride?"
She squinted her eyes at Regulus, mimicking him. He smirked, tipping towards her.
"Or I might already have an image of the perfect girl in my head. She's distracting me from all the others." He confessed mischievously, something glimmering in his grey irisesโhis teasing mood. "I don't think I can find another one like that one."
Vivien focused on him like he was the only thing in the world, wondering out loud, "So what is Regulus Black's type?"
She was tempted to know what he would say or do. She wanted to hear how Regulus would describe her.
"Let me take a look." Black said confidently, his eyes shamelessly studying her ups and downs. He licked his lips slowly like he drooled at the view of her, starved. "Big green eyes, full pink lips, a cute smile, and light brown hair that she always does in the same hairstyle tied with ribbons."
A foolish grin crept onto Vivien's face and she looked away. After all, she was a silly teenage girl and there was a dumb boy complimenting her in his dumb way.
"Tall for a girlโlong legs. Warm skin. But it's also her personality. She used to love muggle fashion and she enjoys everything about nature. Oh, and history, of course, which is a little weird but it's fine. And despite her kindness towards nature, she is pretty bitchy and witchy. Like blunt, rude, and sarcastic. Still I like it all about her a lot but I don't think she likes me very much back."
Regulus not so secretly hinted. He saw Vivien's grin grow, her teeth shining. She didn't try to hide it from himโhis words flattering her ego. There was a boy flattering Vivien and it felt sweet, even if it was her nemesisโor especially because it was her nemesis.
Regulus grinned too, self-satisfied with his doing.
Vivien bit her bottom lip. Someone else would ignore the hint or say something oblivious like, Her loss. Vivien wasn't the one.
"I'm not surprised by the last oneโyou're not the most likeable person. I daresay you're an arsehole. And by the way, your description sounds like it's a specific person."
"It is."
Vivien shook her head, disapproving.
"Oh, I don't think a specific person counts as your type. Unless your type is her."
"Might be. She's a very specific person and I wouldn't find another girl like this one."
Vivien and Regulus gazed at each other intensely, their faces beaming brightlyโmindlesslyโfoolishly.
Vivien felt her chest tighten from the tension in the air surrounding her and them two. She felt excitement bloom in her belly.
"You answered my questionsโnow it's your turn." She ignored that tension, not letting silence linger meaningfully. "Ask me something."
"I thought you didn't want to play and it's one of the potential reasons why you ran away from the party." Regulus laughed out loud.
He felt the tension he created and he wondered if Vivien felt it. The butterflies in his abdomen went insane, his eyes contemplating her body. She rested on her side, copying him. The material of her dress showed off her youthful curves. Her legs were bare and her dress only covered her body to mid-thigh. A horny thought appeared in Regulus' mindโhe was interested in finding out how it felt to be between her legs! The dรฉcolletรฉ of her dress was triangle-shaped, but it only suggested what was hiding under the dress. Regulus' trousers felt uncomfortable on him, the longer he adored Vi and her delicate, fragile figurine.
"I kind of did but I exposed you so much that I feel bad." She chuckled, her eyes following his. He was adoring her body again and again, she saw it.
He cleared his throat and she saw his Adam's apple bob.
"Do you regret already doing it? I mean having sex."
Vivien sighed dramatically. She waited for a sexual questionโit was only fairโbut it wasn't a erotic one. It was a philosophical one. She saw Regulus tilting his head in curiosity because it got the best out of him.
"I know it is still too soon for all of this and I wasn't prepared. The first boy I had sex with wasn't goodโnot even in bed." She smiled sadly, looking down, not able to meet Regulusโ eyes in that moment of vulnerability she shared with him, honest.
"But I've already done it and felt disgusted with him, me, and everything. Something inside told me to try again and again. Nonetheless in the beginning, he pressured me because everyone else kept trying it, like groping each other, dry-riding, and humping. And this stupid boy, whom other girls praised, liked me. And I thought if everyone wanted it, I should too, even if I didn't want it at the timeโcertainly, not with him. It's not that I regret I didn't wait for someone special but that first boy definitely wasn't worth the pain that went into. So as a physical act, I do regret it. But as for the sensations it causes to my body now, I don't. I know, I know. I still have time to explore everything but orgasm with the right person is like the best piece of stepping into womanhood." She answered slowly, rethinking it all through.
Vivien was being sincere, aware she would not be if she and Regulus were sober.
"Is Edgar Bones the right person?" Regulus asked bluntly, after silence dragged, him needing time to take her words in.
Vivien kept grinning.
"He satisfies me, so yes. He is." She saw how he looked down at her lips once she licked them and she saw an opportunity too hard to ignore.
"But he doesn't need to be the only one." Vivien added and Regulus malfunctioned like his brain was an old broken machinery.
His teenage body immediately sinked in the highest of highs, but not the one from smoking herbs. Nervousness and arousal stirred together in his guts, hormones filling them. He watched Vivien to make sure he didn't hallucinate her suggestion but when he glanced at herโthere was only a sneaky smirk on her lips.
Regulus Black had his first kiss before but the young witch made him feel as if he hadn't, unprepared for it. Still he dared himself and leaned towards her exploratory to see if she would back away from him. She didn't and his lips met hers finally. Regulusโ lips stroked Vivienโs slowlyโฆ
But she didn't kiss him back.
Vivien parted away from Regulus. She tilted her head, chewing on her bottom lip.
When his lips touched hers, he could feel their fullness and roughness. But above it all, they were so, so warm that he felt their presence after they were gone. But she moved away with an apologetic smile on her face and Regulus felt embarrassed.
How could he think that girlโwho hated him enough to try to curse him after they met for the first timeโwanted to be kissed by him? It was only nervousness he felt, his stomach tightening. He didn't know how to fix what he had done. What a fool he was...
Vivien saw Regulus lower his head to hide his face shamefully. She grinned, when he couldn't see it. No, she wasn't being cruel, playing with his feelings to humiliate him. Maybe a little bit but for her only to see it.
And it was too late anyway. She wouldn't be able to resist her urges anymore, actually knowing how soft Regulus was in touchโsmooth like silken. His lips were delicate.
"Vivien, I'm so sor-"
Regulus felt a hand yank his chin.
Just like that Vivien crashed her lips against his. His eyes widened, registering what happened. He saw Vivien's eyes flick close and he closed his. She moved her lips, and he did the same, tilting his head to boldly deepen the kiss. His lips parted, inviting her tongue inside of his mouth. He felt her confidence in the act and he had to admitโshe had all the rights to it.
Everything was happening so fast but none of the two minded. They sat up sloppily from lying.
Vivien knotted her hands around Regulus' neck. She felt his hands grasp her waist gently. She felt magnanimity at his touch. Vivien wanted to sink into his body like she needed water and Regulus was an ocean. Their kiss was passionate at first but it became desperate in the blink of an eye.
"You can be fun, Black." Vivien mumbled out between their clumsy kisses.
She felt vibrations on her lips, chuckling travelling from his throat.
"You think so?" Regulus wanted to back away to glance at the view that the girl of his dream was.
But Vivien pushed herself onto him, grabbing on his jumper.
Vivien straddled Regulus like a broom. She pressed herself against him, not wanting space between them.
And Regulus could feel Vivien's breasts against his chest. Oh Merlin, that girl! She wasn't wearing a brassiere, was she?
Vivien felt his hands on her waist tighten as she sat on his crotch violently, feeling a bulge forming in there.
"You are but only when you don't talk."
She could feel her and Regulus' hot lavender breaths blend together. She could feel their hearts thud in their chests against each other.
She couldn't resist herself. She smacked her lips on his, kissing him needily. She could feel him biting her bottom lip playfully. She pushed him away, challenged.
Regulus knitted his brows together, alarmed. Vi yanked his head back by his curls, her fingers tangling in them carelessly. He felt her hot wet lips on his neck, staining his soft aristocratic skin. She was rough and he could feel her kissing and sucking on his skin. And he could feel her biting him weakly. The first time she did, a surprise caused him to dig his fingers into something. Vivien was that something. He felt fervour building in his crotch and he pushed her body down against his, hers hitting his. She moaned against his skin.
Vivien felt how Regulus pushed her down, and she would be ashamed at her eagerness if her mind wasn't so clouded whether it was from drugs or Regulus. She heard Regulus' breath become shallow at her actions, a few times hitching, when she worked on his soft skin with her lips and on his crotch with her hips. She felt his grasp move from her waist to her bum, where he squeezed her gently.
"Vi," He mumbled out.
Vi? Regulus always called Vivien by her name, never by a name like that. It wasn't a name anyone had ever used before towards her.
The couple parted a little, Vi resting her hands on Regulus' chest. She furrowed her eyebrows.
"Yes?" She was flaring through her nose, trying to catch one steady breath at leastt.
"Do you want to..." Regulus trailed off, gasping.
Boys. Vivien snorted and he didn't know how to react.
"Do I want to take Regulus fucking Black's holy virginity and profane his so dearly protected cock?" Vi quirked her eyebrow.
Regulus felt feverish, while Vivien spoke so dirty into his face.
"I wouldn't word it like-"
"You didn't word it at all." She didnโt let him finish.
"Tru-"
"But I do." Vivien cut in more, her voice edged with lust. "I want to destroy you for any other girl and keep it my sweet secret, knowing that I used your cock as a toy first." She leaned towards Regulus' ear, her mouth brushing against it.
She began kissing his skin, tracing his cheek like a map towards his lips. Their lips began moving in the rhythm like they were dancing together.
"Are virgins your kink?" Regulus mumbled out between kisses, his chest heaving against Vivienโs.
She looked straight into his eyes through her lashes.
"Maybe or maybe it's just your virginity that is my kink. It feels like eating forbidden fruitโdoing something naughty with you and to you, Black." She wiggled her eyebrows.
The corners of his lips twitched sinfully.
But Vivien realised she hadn't asked him the question, when it was about to be his first time.
"Wait, but do you want to have sex with me, Regulus?"
REGULUS?! Black's heart skipped a beat. Vi caused that a lot for him. He looked at her bewildered for a long moment. Once he broke out of shock, he glanced between their bodies. He would think his desire was crystal clear but Vi observed him carefully.
"Yes, Vivien. Very. Obviously."
Regulus didn't see Vi's smile but he felt it against his lips, when she smashed hers against them. This time Vivien let his tongue inside her mouth and their kiss became intense.
Regulus heard his heart pound in his ears, pulsing in his head.
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ย ย ย ย ย Their breaths were shaking and hitching after everything happened so fast!
Vivien had to confess that Regulus' moan-ful fuck s was her new favourite music. She felt her back loosen from the sharp arch and she knew she was about to become weak.
"Could you-could you lay down, Regulus? Please." She asked, being on top of him.
Regulus could feel how Vi was dripping down, her body sinking into his bare chest. He locked his arms around her bare waist, while she was resting on him.
She warmed him. From Black he became Regulus, and it was a sweet victory after losing the match to her Edgar Bones.
Regulus laid down on the floor, Vi curling on top of him. Neither of them bothered to even unlink their bodies that were an oneness. Their skin prickled with sweat, and from something so sinful, they might even had melted into one.
They didnโt care, collecting themselves in silence, trying to calm their breathing and gather their thoughts.
Regulus could feel Vi's breast slowing down against his torso, flowing calmly.ย
"So," She swallowed.
He turned his head towards her. She was still red from all the heat. He folded his arm under his head, now confidentโduring an act not so much. He caressed her bare back with his other hand.
"Sooo," He teased, which made Vi smile sweetly.
"How was sex?" She wondered out loud. "Like you imagined it?"
"No." He smirked more, his eyes misty against her. "You made it better."
If Vi wasn't already red, she would blush. She snuck towards Regulus' lips and kissed him passionately. Their lips swam together like on a peaceful wave and Vivien felt the remains of her strength voyage back to her body.
She parted and sat up removing Regulus from her body. She wanted to change positions but when she tried to stand up, he caught her by her thighs.
Poor boy... Vivien realised Regulus had to think she was trying to leave him alone. And she felt that ache in her heart, remembering such a strange feeling of loneliness a little too goodly.
"Where are you going?" He stroked her skin. He sounded a little saddened, even though he tried to mask it the best he could.
"We are changing." Vivien kept smiling after she saw the disappointment in Regulus' eyes vanishโdiffuse in the mist. "Don't get your hopes too high, doll. I mean in laying."
Doll?! Merlin had no mercy for teenage Regulus!
He let go of Vi and she laid beside him, using her cardigan and his jumper as a pillow and blanket. She looked to the side at Regulus.
"It would be preferable for you to join me." She grinned the whole time as if that goofy grin stuck to her face permanently.
Regulus fixed his boxers and trousers, then rolled around to lie on his chest. He covered half of Vivien's bare chest with his body. He rested his face in her neck. His hand sneaked to Vi's other breast, where his fingers played on her skin.
He can be sweet, can't he? Vivien put her hand in his hair and began brushing it. He was tickling her subtly like no boy had done before and she enjoyed his innocent interest in her breasts, not only an erotic one.
Tiredness was taking over Vivien. She rested with closed eyes, feeling sleepy. She was resting quietly until-
"You know that I could stay on the floor?"
"You were on it the whole time. Now it's my turn." Vi murmured.
"For you, I would let you fuck me into this floor, Vivien."
Silly, she giggled and fluttered her eyes open lazily to look at Regulus. He was already looking at her, his gaze gentle.
"You didn't have to let me do everything I wanted. I hope you know that, Regulus."
"I liked what you did. If you asked for permission to ride me into a heart attack, I would sign up without a single thought."
"I actually planned to bite your dick off, if you started to annoy me during an act."
"And I would let you do it proudly."
Vivien laughed and Regulus grinned at her giddiness.
"You're pathetic, doll."
"Only for you, Vi." His grey eyes steadied, serious. But they weren't cold like usual.
It seemed to Vivien that he wanted to emphasise the meaning of his words with themโhis feelings for herโand how serious he was about her and about what had happened. That it meant something more for him than only a teenage rebellionโhaving sex with her at the Astronomy Tower past curfew during parties.
Vi bit her lip, her dimples carving in her cheeks firmly. Regulus tilted his head at her action, his eyes squinting slightly.
"But you..." At that moment, he read her like an open book. "You enjoy it, don't you?" He smiled and his sweet, sweet dimples showed too.
"No. No, I don't think I do." Vivien shook her head fakely. "No. Not really."
She turned her face away to stop Regulus from reading her more. But Regulus took a chance to lick her neck. He started leaving soft kisses on it.
"Yes, you do, Vi." He whispered against her skin before he nipped on it weakly, which resulted in a pleasurable spasm jolting through Vivien's youthful body, exposing how he made her feel.
"Yes, I do, Regulus." She murmured in pleasure.
He was charming her and she found it adorable.
"I do enjoy how much I can insult you when we fight and how you always come back for more. It's exciting and always has been."
"My pleasure." He glanced up at her.
"But why is it your pleasure?" She glanced down at him.
"Because ViโI'm a moth and you are the light that I clung to."
Vivien snorted stupidly and so did Regulus.
"You are high, doll."
"You too, Vi."
"Yeah, I am." She winced, the realisation smacking her like a bludger. "It was a bad idea, wasn't it?"
"Smoking or having sex?"
"Both?"
"It's tomorrow's problem."
"It is tomorrow."
"Yh-ym." Regulus' hum died out into silence.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien saw Regulus trying to follow after her lips as he didn't want a kiss to end.
He didn't imagine to wake with a feeling of someone's lips against his, but he didn't complain. He quickly responded and their lips danced in a lawless rhythm but Vi pulled away from it. She was sitting on her heels beside Regulus, already dressed up. They had fallen asleep, embracing each other. The candles had burned out and instead of navy blue and the stars in the sky observing her scandalised, there was twilight.
The couple was lucky enough not to get caught by Filch and Mrs. Norris. It would be a pathetic pictureโtwo teenagers lying on their jumpers, somewhat stripped down with bruises and bites on their skinโit would be humiliating.
Vivien looked at Regulus. He shifted. He laid on his back after she gently pushed him off of her body a few minutes before. He had cuddled with her in their sleep. Vi really tried to wake the arseclown any other way but he wouldn't react! She spoke into his ear, shook him, or even pinched him, but he only mumbled something unintelligent and kept dreaming.
"Hi, my sleeping beauty." She whispered softly, towering over Regulus.
He raised on his elbows, looking around with his sleepy eyes. His face was subtly swollen from such a good sleep he had on Vivien. He saw she had fixed her dress and slipped into her cardigan already.
"It is around five I think. Soon there will be a sunrise and we should get going."
He glanced at her and his boyish face looked so innocent that Vi's heart could melt from his sweetness.
Regulus only nodded his head. Vivien stood up, waiting at the staircase. He slowly got up from his messed-up jumper, shook it off from dirt and dust, and put it on at last.
Vi reached out her hand for him to hold it, and he accepted instantly. She dragged him after her towards the exit of the Astronomy Tower.
Vivien's green's effects started to wear out on them both and teenagers were feeling worn-out. Pleasant tiredness from the act was replaced by exhaustion from everything else. The aftermath of smoking two joints got to them.
Vivien was thirsty and her stomach growled quietly. She needed to pee so badly and she felt sore. She could tell that Regulus felt similar to herโmore or lessโbut still.
When Regulus stopped in his tracks, Vivien didn't know what to do or what to say after such an intimate night they shared. She faced him and he didn't have the same dilemma.
He drew her into him, his hands softly gripping her waist. She looped her hands around his neck loosely.
Vivien didn't have time to think anything through because Regulus' lips crushed against hers. Though the most sinful act was already after them, it felt like their lips linked together as sinfully as their bodies had a few hours before.
It gave Vivien shiversโhow cool Regulus was.
"Goodnight, Vi." He casually mumbled between kisses.
"Goodnight."
Even though they mumbled their goodbyes, neither of them ripped apart from the other. Not until Vivien convinced herself with the rest of her will that she had left to do so. They broke away, walking away in their own directions.
"Vi?" Regulus called her for the last time.
Vivien turned towards him. He was effortlessly walking backwards. She tilted her head, smiling softly, her chest fluttering like butterflies wings.
"Regulus?" Her brows furrowed together.
"Gentlemen never kiss and tell. What we have done is only between us two, I promise." Regulus smiled softly.
They met their gazes before disappearing from each other's visions, still smiling but this time to themselves only.
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Chapter 10: new sheriff
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Rumours started from the moment everyone saw Regulus Black eat his lunch with the nastiest necklace existing. It was formed from red bruising and small bites on the soft aristocratic skin of his neck. Regulus had spent the whole morning and noon sleeping his night off until Evan yanked the blanket off of him.
Regulus got up and put on some fresh jumper and trousers. He was hungry but he did not have the strength to go to the Great Hall for lunch on his own. He kept yawning and rubbing his eyes on his way to the hall. Maybe that's why he didn't notice the glances that Rosier took at his neck or the gawking of other students. It all flew over his head like an owl. His brain felt dizzy after smoking, combined with losing his virginity to the one and onlyโthe Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne.
Regulus and Evan joined Dorcas at the Slytherin table where she was with Barty and Pandora, who abandoned the Ravenclaw house table as always.
Black felt stiff and sore. He stretched a little, including his neck.
At that Pandora spat out the pumpkin juice and it splashed against her plate. She put a hand over her mouth and Regulus was alerted that something was wrong.
He saw how Pandora shared a look with grinning Evan as he sat between him and Dorcas. He looked at Dorcas, who wiggled her eyebrows at Barty sitting across the table with Pandora. He was smirking stupidly, feasting on his food. Young Mister Black looked between all his friends suspicious of the four of them, slightly squinting his sleepy eyes, aware of their behaviour.
"So Regulus, mate, where did you go after you ditched us? Because when Slughorn came to end the party, surely you weren't in your bed, while I was going to sleep in mine next to it."
Regulus turned to Evan and saw how his gaze travelled between his eyes and his neck.
Regulusโ neck? It was sore. Suddenly the fragments and glimpses from last night appeared in Regulus' mind behind the mist. He felt heat, his cheeks laced with a blush, his heart racing faster at the unholy memories, all while eating his chicken soup.
Regulus ignored it and nonchalantly shrugged.
"I went for a walk. Thanks for your concern." He smiled sarcastically.
"Walk to where? The forbidden forest?" Dorcas mocked, their friends applauding her with a laughter, bursting out like bubbles.
"You should ask rather with whom he went." Pandora tittered, a hand over her mouth.
"I think it was with a vampire. Happy to see you in one piece though." Barty winked at Regulus, a spark in his brown eyes, sunshines reflecting in them. "Honestly, did you look into the mirror today?"
"I guarantee you he did not."
Pandora handed Regulus a clean big spoon. He narrowed his eyes sharply like two arrows on a bow.
"Take a look." She encouraged him, pointing the thing at his neck.
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ย ย Vivien's figure was facing the Slytherin table. She was eating, reading a book. At first, once Regulus entered the Great Hall, she glanced at himโlike everyone else did. She saw the art she created on him and she saw how absent he was.
It was clear that the things Regulus tried the previous night were new for him.
Now Vivien felt a pair of his grey eyes lingering on her while she was reading. She didn't respond to such provocations. She skimmed her fingers against her untouched neck, brushing her hair to the side, feeling the presence of those beautiful grey eyes on her.
Vivien was more prepared than Regulus, using a masking charm. She felt soreness in her neck but her skin looked untouched.
After that noon, there was a rumour that someone stole the Regulus Black's holy virginity.
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ย ย ย ย ย Teenagers were never as smart as they thought they were.
Regulus was the perfect example, but in the end Vivien was no better than him.
"I want to remind all of youโespecially older studentsโthat intimate intercourses are not allowed on the grounds of the castle." Dumbledore announced during breakfast one morning.
It struck younger students like a jolting bolt, a little shocked, scandalised, and startled.
By then every student above the second year had heard the rumour that had been going around Hogwarts since that morning.
Fourth years found underwear at the Astronomy Tower during Monday's Astronomy class! Supposedly, it was a girl's undergarment! Chandraโan astronomy professorโconfiscated it and took it to McGonagall, who told Dumbledore about it.
Vivien really tried to imagine this whole shiteshow, but as funny as it was, it wasn't.
After Vivien asked Regulus to do the honors of taking her panties off, he threw them somewhere. Under the influence of her green, it didn't make a difference whether they were on or not. Vivien had forgotten them.
But things got even hotter since SiriusโRegulus' older brotherโadded combustible potion to the fire. He was a year up from Vivien and his younger brother like most of Vivien's schoolmates.
And once he heard the headmaster's words, he connected the dots with rumour about Regulus' designer necklace. Everyone knew Regulus wasn't at the Slytherin party and no one saw him that evening anywhere.
Yet Sirius kept claiming that someone had to see him. He was right, of course.
Regulus wouldn't be able to do the things Vivien was capable of doing to him. But it was their sweet secret. Still older Black decided to investigate his prudent little brotherโs sex life.
And sooner or laterโlaterโit occurred to Vivien's schoolmates that they knew a person they hadn't seen during the celebration party in Hufflepuff's common room that took place at the same time as the Slytherin party that Regulus hadn't attended.
Vivien was walking through the Great Hall between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables. It was a lunch break and she felt chilled out, her skin from the scalp to the back tingling.
"Viva-oliva!" Sirius' voice echoed slowly in waves.
She unhurriedly turned in the direction it swam from, squinting her eyes.
"Mes amis!" She exclaimed excitedly, throwing her hands in the air.
She made her way towards a large group. It felt like everyone Vivien had ever known sat at that table. Jamie sat closely to Lils, and beside her sat Ali with Frank, who was followed by Edgar like a cute puppy. On the other side of the table sat Remi with Siri's arm around his neck, and beside them sat Marls, Pete, and Mary who were snacking.
Vivien approached them, stopping beside Jamie. She stuck her ass in the air, landing her elbows on the table and her knees on the bench. Thanks to Merlin, Vivien always wore cigarette trousers from her uniform and not a skirt! The trousers were cute and they were definitely safer than those ugly skirts!
Everyone looked at her suspiciously as she was squinting her reddened eyes. They saw her dilated pupils but no one mentioned. She grinned widely, her teeth shining in the sun.
"Salut!" She rested her chin in her hands. She heard some greetings and saw Mary, Peter, and Alice wave their hands joyfully.
"Sooooo, Viva," Sirius playful dragged, his tone fakely innocent in a mischief.
"Sooo, what, Sirius?"
"You remember there is a new sheriff in town?" Older Black smirked towards her.ย
Sirius recently got fascinated by muggle aurors after he caught Lily reading "Sherlock Holmes" and started questioning her and Mary about the muggle law department.
"I do." Vivien nodded, scrunching her nose happily. "Any new leads, Detective Black?"
"I have one. Depute Pettigrew, the one here," Sirius pointed his finger at Peter, and Vivien looked at him and then back at the other one. "Said something that stimulated my brain into thinking, which doesn't happen often. He said that searching for my brother's virginity stealer in Hogwarts is like searching for a thief among nifflers. He said that it could be even you, Viva, because you ditched us before we even came to the party at Hufflepuff."
Vivien was squinting her eyes, listening focused, nodding her head slowly.
"What I meant was an example, so he let go of the case. It was not an accusation of guilt!" She heard Peter's petty tone. "I'm sorry, Viva." He apologised in his and Sirius' names.
Vivien met his apologetic eyes. She scratched her forehead with her sharp nail, and a candle in her brain lit with a spark.
"Wait, you think I had sex with your brother?" She pointed her nail at Sirius.
"I do take it into consideration." He nodded his head, smiling.
"Don't worry about him, Vivien. He fell from his bed on his face like a hundred times by now, hitting his head multiple times." Remus assured, patting poor Sirius on the shoulder.
"Excu-"
"Yes, it must be the brain damage. Don't care about his wordsโif he talks such nonsense, probably there's not much time left for Siri anyway." James added, nodding his head to himself, denying Vivien could be guilty of such a vile crime that Sirius accused her of.
"James!" Lily slapped him in the back of his head weakly. "He's your best friend."
"And so is Viva."
Vivien wasn't that high but she wanted to goof around. She watched the group like there was no thought behind her eyes.
"Who's your brother again?" She asked, silencing everyone.
Potter and Evans stopped their bantering to stare at her like everyone else, bewildered.
Without shame, Sirius pointed his finger towards the Slytherin table, and everyone spun towards the direction. They all saw a group of fiveโtwo Ravenclaws and three Slytherins. They quickly realised they were being watched by mostly Gryffindors. They stared back at them judgmentally.
Vivien squinted her eyes silly, and they met Regulus[' anything but face]. She looked at his neck. Disappointed, she remembered that he had gotten rid of the masterpiece she had painted with her lips on his skin. She turned away, looking away.
"Oh, that one." She nodded, fakely enlightened only to shake her head. "I have no idea who that boy is. But I see a resemblance between you two. Both are dramatically unnerving to look atโit must be the famous Black genes, huh?"
Her schoolmates laughed. Not Sirius. He rolled his eyes.
Vivien glanced back at Regulus in the hope that her art would appear on him. It didnโt. She looked back towards Sirius, when Regulus was about to catch her looking at him againโthis time alone and on her own.
"No, it's alright, I understand why you thought that. Maybe I did fuck him and sucked out piece of his soul."
Edgar exploded with even louder laughter. Peter blew juice through his nose. The rest also cracked too. Not Jamie. He choked on his sandwich, while Lily slapped him on the back. She was giggling even firmer because of that.
"Why are you laughing, guys? It explains why Regulus looks so deadly!" The laughter died out like Vivien switched it off with her wand.
Oh Merlin! She groaned internally, realising she must had done something questionable, once they all looked at her, surprised.
"What did you just call him?" Marlene's eyes twinkled as if she had had the moment of brilliance. "Regulus?"
"Honestly, I didn't know you knew his name wasn't an arseclown, Viva." Mary had a smug smirk on her face while she glanced at Alice, Lily, and Marlene.
The young witch rolled her eyes at the girls sharing their meaningful glances and smilesโincluding Remusโhe was better than most boys. And the said boys watched what was happening like they were watching animals in their natural habitat.
"So, Vivien, where were you Saturday night?"
Everyone's heads snapped towards her. Vivien blew her cheeks out for a second like a child and made a fart sound, trying to act careless about the whole thing.
"In my dormitory, in my bed, in my pyjamas, you?" She put a handful of crisps in her mouth from the bowl standing in front of her. She didn't know if it was behaviour that would be normal enough for her in others' opinions or if it would be too normal for her in othersโ opinions.
"Black Cat potato crisps, love it!" She mumbled like a savage with a full mouth, crumbs falling from her lips. She saw her friends cringe at that sight.
Mary opened her mouth to speak-
"Miss Beauchรชne," Vivien turned around towards the male voice.
"Professor Flitwick." She stood up straight.
He eyed her suspiciouslyโshe swallowed crisps only after she greeted him first with her mouth full.
"Vivien, your grand-grand-grandโoh, don't make me say it all." He gave up.
Vivien tilted her eyebrows, wrinkling her forehead.
He sighed, speaking out once more, "Petra kept disturbing students in the common room to ask me for a word with her."
This fucking portrait!
"She complains that after you fell on the stairs sneaking inside the common room on Sunday early morning you woke her. She says that she advised you to do better and she says you showed her a very vulgar gesture and dismissed her with very offensive words."
Oh, fuck off, Petra! Vivien had fought with that portrait ever since she saw it for the first time. Petra Beauchรชne was not Vivien's favourite ancestor.
"Shitetalking bitch!" She scoffed to herself.
"Sorry?" Flitwick frowned, hearing her language.
"It's not fairโmy actions are reactions to Petra's actions, and she's been waiting for my downfall ever since." Vivien gesticulated to emphasise her pointโas if there was anyโas if it wasn't simply blaming someone else for her behaviour.
"I don't like Petra either but she's right about one thing. If you haven't kept breaking rules, she wouldn't keep calling you out. You are lucky that I can't punish you because I hadn't caught you but I don't think I need to remind you that between nine p.m. and six a.m. students are not allowed to leave their house common room, Miss Beauchรชne."
"No, you do not, Professor."
"And Vivien, you could use a visit with Madame Pomfrey. You have blood shots in your eyes."
"Oh, I am on my way from Madame Pomfrey actually." She said.
Flitwickโs lips opened but nothing left them, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Allergy to grass. I was sneezing like a madwoman, and my eyes are irritated now."
The professor didn't want to hear more lies. He only bowed his head and passed his students, walking away. Vivien placed herself in her previous position. Her schoolmates observed her.
"You are not allergic." Jamie murmured, shaking his head in disapproval.
"Were you actually at Pomfrey's?" Remus crossed his arms over his chest.
"Are you still fighting with Petra?" Edgar chuckled lowly.
"I was at Pomfrey's for a potion for my headache." Vivien answered randomly.
"But you sai-" Lupin trailed off his words, glancing between her and Potter, who only shook his head more. "Nevermind."
"So Viva," Sirius smiled.
Everyone had heard Flitwick expose her lieโthat she was not in her dormitoryโunlike what she told.
"Where were you from Saturday evening to Sunday morning?"
Everyone glanced at her, searching for an answer from a source.
"I literally told you I was in my bed." She said defensively.
"Flitwick literally said you weren't."
"No, he didn't." Vivien snorted stupidly. "You're trying to tell me I'm lying? What's next? You're gonna tell me I'm high?"
"Aren't you?" Alice tittered, and Frankโthe Head Boyโrolled his eyes but cracked a chuckle.
"Aren't we all?"
"No, we're not." Peter snorted.
"And I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be fun." Vivien straightened herself. "Peace out. I'm leaving, losers."
She started wandering away towards the doorway, even though she came to the Great Hall to eat lunch.
"Wait,"
Vivien turned, walking backwards to look at older Black.
"If you being you know is true, then is what I think you did true too?" Sirius half-smiled.
"I would never do such a thing! How could I if I didn't know who the assclown was five minutes ago?" Vivien put her hands in the air as a sign of innocence.
"You knew who he was until five minutes ago!" He shouted. "You know what I sayโthe colder they get in the streets, the hotter they get in the sheets!"
"Ms. Beauchรชne, Mr. Black. The one to scream next gets twenty points taken away!"
Vivien and Sirius were being a little too obnoxiousโand McGonagall was done, irritated to not enjoy her lunch in peace like she wished.
"But Professor, you were the one to scream next!"
Vivien could feel Minerva's eyes shooting daggers at her. She started running towards the door, giggling foolishly.
"Oh, Minnie, it's just a tough love thing, isn't it?!"
"Black, I swear-"
"I'm shutting up."
But Sirius was right with his stupid saying. The colder they get in the streets, the hotter they get in the sheets. Maybe that's why the sex had happened between Vivien and Regulus! She wanted to take her anger out on him. The one he kept building up in her since they were twelve. That's why it happenedโit was blowing off some steam that he brewed in her blood. She did it the same way any hormonal teenager would do it! It was nothing more, right?
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ย ย ย ย ย Wrong! Because if Vivien was right, why would she feel that way? After sex she couldn't look at Regulus. She only did it once, high, and it wasn't even his face.
She wasn't embarrassedโmaybe a littleโbecause he knew her very intimately, which was always an uncomfortable thought to get used to. But it wasn't the first time she had to get through it.
Vivien didn't regret that sexโshe was not disgusted with it, herself or Regulus.
She liked it, even if Regulus was a little uncertain of himself the whole time. It was clear he was scared of doing something too quickly. She found it even adorableโand that irked her. She got high with the boy, whom she never likedโthey fucked and suddenly arseclown became sweet.
Because Regulus was sweet. Not only before, but during and after sex too! which wasn't typical for most boys. Most boys became bored with me like a child with a toy.
Vivien couldn't glance at Regulus and he was making it worse because he couldn't stop glancing at her. Obviously. He fancied her and he had experienced his first time with her.
Why was she so impulsive? She fucked the boy she hated, who had pathetically fancied her since ever and she was shocked that he couldn't help himself.
Vi felt Regulusโ grey irises piercing her all the time, causing her to shiver at his coolness. He gazed at her a lot and she felt how he drilled a hole in her soul with his metallic eyes, but she knew he wasn't doing it in a mean gesture. He was charmed by her completely and he studied her from time to timeโwhich was like every five seconds in every class two teenagers shared, which was most of them. Sometimes Vivien felt his eyes wandering on her body shamelessly, causing her to feel bareโlike she wasnโt dressed.
But there was the weight of the pair's sweet secret. For a few days after the act happened, there was silence.
It should be odd to everyone because Vivien was always ready to bite Regulus' head off whenever they were in the same room. But no one noticed that change in the young witch's guard, or did no one?
"And she's gone!"
Vivien heard Teddy.
Her teenage brothers cackled at her like toads. She ran away from them, when they were the ones to approach her.
Vivien was walking towards History classroom reading, when Ambroise found her and tried to bullshite her into trying his muffins. Theodore and Rosaire appeared out of nowhere, bugging him but the topic of teasing seemed to bug Vivien more than Ambrosie.
Vivien ran away in the corridor, passing other fifth-years coming out of the classroom.
"We don't have to talk about it!" Bambi exclaimed, his voice entertained.
"I agree. We don't!" She turned and ran backwards, so they could see her shrug.
"Vivi, don't be a child!"
"You can run, but you can't hide!"
"Catch me then! Now, I hear none!"
Vivien nearly turned forwards but her body collided with someone else's, when they happened to come out of the classroom she had left a minute or two before. Instead of running into a door, Vivien fell to the floor. No, the person under her fell to the floor and she fell on top of them.
Vivien could feel hands on her waist and she was met with a face she tried to avoid facing.
"I think you also see none." Regulus half-smiled amorously, his eyes softening.
She groaned, dropping her forehead on his shoulder. Vivien heard her brothers running after they were aware that their sister had caused another accident.
"Are you okay, Vivi?" She heard one of them asking but she was too focused on surviving the moment to bother about it.
"Yh-ym." She nodded her head, her face was buried in Regulus' shoulder. Her heart thudded in her breasts and she wondered if he could feel it too.
"We're sitting up, Vi...vien." She felt the boy sitting up. She straddled one of his legs as he pushed her to sit up. The pair faced each other, and he tilted his head to the side.
"Are you sure you are fine?" Under the gaze of your grey eyes? No, I don't think I am. Next question.
"I am, but no thanks to you, assclown." Vivien ridiculed.
And the pair started bantering.
"You landed on me; I think I deserve a little recognition."
"It was literally your fault, Black."
"How was that my fault?"
"If you were more careful, I wouldn't need to land on anyone."
"Yes, you would smash into a door instead! You were running backwards!"
"Exactly. I couldn't see you, but you were walking forward and could see me!"
"I came out of the classroom!"
"And how's that my fault, Regulus?"
Vivien was too occupied with Black, and Regulus was too occupied with Viโbut if they weren't, they would feel the stares shot at them. Pandora and Evan stood silently observing them but hearing Vivien call their best friend with his actual birth name made them glance at each other to check if they heard her correctly. Ambroise's and Rosaire's eyes widened, one of the corners of Teddy's mouth twitched in a knowing half-smile.
"You were running backwards, Vivien!"
"Oh, so now it's my fault?"
"It was your fault from the beginning."
Vivien scoffed at Regulus, straight into his face.
When he felt her hot breath on his skin, he figured how close they were to each other. He looked around, meeting the eyes of Pandora and Evan.
Malfoy was smirking, and Rosier was scratching his wrinkled forehead, stupefied.
Once Regulus' eyes left Vivienโs, she looked around, figuring out the two of them were being observed. She looked at her brothers and shrugged. She turned towards Regulus' friends and rolled her eyes at the sight of damned Evan Rosier.
"Will any of you gentlemen offer me a helping hand? Literally." She sighed.
Before Vivien's brothers could react, Evan helped her stand up. As she was doing so, she totally accidentally kicked Regulus in the crotch.
Regulus could tell it was too weak to be Vi's attempt to crush his ballsโit wasn't hatred, only pettiness.
Pandora, Evan, and her brothers snickered while she was dusting off her clothes.
To keep some pretences, Regulus scoffed, standing up and dusting himself off.
"You did it purposefully."
"I don't know what you're talking about, tรชte de con." Vivien turned towards him.
Her eyes traced his ups and downs against her will. Once she tried to maintain eye contact to mask what she did hurriedly, she saw his eyes do the same exact thing as hers had done. Then their eyes met and she felt her chest tighten.
The couple stood there, gazing at each other.
Rosaire coughed, but it sounded sharply into something similar to weird.
"It is, isn't it?" Rosier whispered, glancing between Regulus and Vivien repeatedly.
And Pandora knew everything she needed.
"I would love to give you more time to eye-fuck," She said innocently, a sweet smile sculpted on her soft and rounded lips.
Everyone's heads whipped at her.
"I mean eye-fight each other. I can't be late again." Pandora didn't even hide how her lips twitched into something more sharp and devilish than her little smile. She caught Evan and Regulus by their wrists, dragging them after her.
"See you later, foxy!" She exclaimed over her shoulder.
Vivien waved her hand, slightly lost.
We are in the same year? We both have History in a few minutes? It was all weird, wasn't it? Vivien knew the situation was awkward, but she couldn't point with her finger why that was. Was it because of something I did?
"So, Vivi." She groaned and her head back rolled after hearing Rosaire's teasing tone. "Since when are you so friendly with Regulus?"
"Who?" She asked, frowning theatrically.
"Friendly? Call things by their names with Vivien." Ambroise peeped out of a corner of his eyes at Rosaire.
"Flirty is the correct word. Since when are you so flirty with Black?" Teddy eyed everyone before locking his gaze with Vivien.
"Flirty?" She furrowed her eyebrows firmer. Am I flirty? No, I'm not, little shites! "What would any of you know about flirting? You are barely out of ma's womb."
"There are years between us, not decades." Theodore rolled his eyes.
There was silence for a moment, which Ambrosie intended to use.
"So, Vivi," He began again. "Do you want a muffin?"
"Oh, for Merlin sake!"
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was sitting under a tree. It was a warm day and there were a lot of students enjoying the weather outside in the afternoon. It was becoming a little too crowded for Miss Beauchรชne. So she packed her book into her school bag, stood up, and sneaked to hide in the castle. In afar she saw her favourite Gryffindors resting in the sun on their blankets. She waved her hand at them. They grinned at her and waved their hands too. Lily, Mary, and blurry Marlene sent her air kisses. Vivien caught one of them and hid it in her pocket, smiling.
She dragged her feet through the grass and entered the castle, where she was met with Regulus.
Vivien looked up and saw him smiling, leaning his back on the wall.
She walked past him, not reacting to provocations as such. Was he leaning on that stupid wall the whole time I was outside? Dodgy. She could feel a presence stretching after her, another set of steps following hers.
"Already going into hiding, Vivien?" Regulus chuckled.
She swirled around to him, resulting in him pausing only inches away from her. She felt her heart race in surprise.
"What do you need, Black?"
"I wanted to apologise to you." He shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers, his lips pressing into a thin line.
"For what?" Vivien lowered her eyebrows.
"You know what for." He suggested silently, looking at her through lashes with his eyes round and wideโtruly meaning the purity of his apology, his face soft.
"For having sex with me?"
"Yes." Regulus nodded.
"Wait-" Vivien put her hand up as a sign for him to stop, absolutely lost in Regulus' words. "What are you talking about? Do you regret it?" Does he?!
Her stomach twisted.
"No, but you evidently do." Regulus sounded sincere, his tone intentionally quiet.
She let her features soften.
"Who told you that?"
"You did." He sighed. "Your behaviour. You can't even look at me, Vi."
Vivien closed her eyes and rubbed her face, taking a deep breath in and out.
"I do not regret it, Regulus." She admitted, her hands dropping with a deaf slap against her thighs.
"You don't have to-"
"Lie to raise your self-esteem? Black, if you think I care about your ego enough to lie about something so embarrassing, you had to switch your head with a toilet." She tilted her head to the side, her face cringing at an insinuation.
"Fair." He chuckled.
"I'm sorry for making you feel shitty about your first time, but to be honest if sex was bad, I wouldn't let you live it down. And that's embarrassing. The fact that it wasn't bad and I-" She rolled her eyes, hesitant to confess. "I actually had fun."
Regulus had to feel a little encouraged because his finger friskily sneaked into the belt-loop of Vivien's cigarette trousers. She bit her bottom lip.
"Have you started making out with me thinking that I would be bad at sex?" Black quirked an eyebrow.
Vi tried to suppress the smirk that tried to sneak on her lips.
"I wasn't thinking."
"Yeah, I could guess that."
She pushed him away playfully. And he stumbled back, pulling her with him by her trousers. The couple looked deeply into each other's eyes.
Vivien could feel the weight on her shoulder fall from it, her school bag slamming against the floor with a thud. She laid her hands on Regulus' waist to push him even more, her body following every step. She glanced to the sides, cautiousโthere was no one there to see what would happen soon.
Regulus smirked smugly, being pushed until his back met a stone cold wall.
"Fuck Vi, how-how could you forget your undergarment?"
"How do you know it was mine and not another horny teenage girl?" She asked, her hands squeezing his thin waist. He placed his hands on her waist too.
"Let's say I took a trip to McGonagall's office a few nights ago and checked for myself. My fingers recognised the cotton of it."
"We are full of adventures, aren't we, Black?" Vivien gazed at Regulus' flickering eyes frivolously, fascinated. "What did you do with my panties? Steal them for yourself?"
"I took them as a trophy." He leaned closer.
Although she hammered him to the wall, he was slightly towering over her.
"Trophy?" Vi asked, not intimidated with their closeness.
Regulus leaned even closer, his lips stroking hers as he whispered, "Trophy for the achievement of successfully getting into Vivien Beauchรชne's panties."
"I'm pretty sure you didn't get anywhere. It was the other way around. I mean you were untouchable for everyone but all it took for me to play on Regulus Black's dick was to order you to pull your pants down."
Vivien stroked Regulus' lips the same. She felt his hands clutch her waist to urge their bodies together.
"Fuck." He whispered and smashed his lips on hers.
Their lips moved in sync. Vivien clenched her hands on Regulus. He was thin and he moaned quietly, her nails piercing his flesh. She could feel their hearts thud against each other. He moaned and his lips parted.
Vivien invaded Regulusโ mouth like they were hers to conquer.
Was it wise to make out with Regulus Black in public just because it was empty before? No, it wasn't.
But Vivien wasn't wiseโin Regulus Black's arms, she was a silly teenage girl.
"You're so indecent, Vi." Regulus mumbled between their kisses.
Most boys would describe Vivien's behaviour as slutty or whorish but not that one. That one said indecent, because he was so prudish. And it made it all even better.
Vi whimpered with pleasure at his words and her lips travelled to his jawline. Her mouth's journey on Regulus caused him to breathe shallowly. Soon she peeled away to take a breath herself.
"So where do you keep my panties, Black? Under your pillow?" Vivien grabbed his chin to make him look at her. "Are you dreaming of meโtrying to manifest me in your bed?"
"Maybe." He smirked, his head tilting smoothly, his eyes glimmering with silver. "I would say it is working out somewhat, isn't it?"
"You're pathetic, Regulus."
"I hoped you would say something like that." He chuckled, attempting to capture her in another animalistic kiss.
But Vivien turned her face away. He looked at her, aware, until she tilted her head flexing her throat in all its glory.
Vivien could feel Regulus' smirk against her skin, when he sprinkled sweet kisses on her neck. She felt his hands move from her waist to her bum and squeeze it gently.
"So what do I see, Vi," He mumbled against her skin. "Is that I am the right person, too?"
She locked her hands around his neck and tangled her fingers in his curls, melting into his hot touch.
"More like a right cock, but oui." She murmured in pleasure.
Regulus pulled away.
"No!" Vivien whined. She opened her eyes and he was already looking at her. She intended to stare at him, her lips poutedโbut she softened, seeing his innocent eyes and reddened lips. Lord, have mercy!
"That's objectification." Regulus' chest moved heavily against Vi's.
"But-" She licked her lips, which caused him to glance at them. "You are my possession, aren't you? My doll that I can play with when I want to, Regulus."
She was looking at him with her big guiltless eyes, and his gaze wandered to them, drawing the lines of her face on its path.
"Yes, I am yoursโyour toy or whatever you want me to be, Vi." He smiled, slowly leaning to kiss her more.
Their lips sank together, pleasure swallowing them.
Still having some sense, Vivien placed her hands on Regulus' chest, ripping herself away from him entirely, his hands loosening.
"You are fun even when you speak sometimes, Regulus." She smiled cutely, folding her arms over her chest.
Two teenagers were out of breath but Vi had a bit better ability to compose herself with a little more experience. Regulus rested against the wall and she took a few steps away from him. They needed air in their lungs or they would suffocate each otherโon each other.
"My pleasure." Regulus smirked and Vivien saw his Adam's apple bobโhe swallowed down his hormones thickly.
"Pathetic." She commented.
They began fixing themselves and their appearance. Vi glanced at Regulus and his hair was a mess of her creation.
"Your hair." She suggested but he made it even worse, when he tried to brush his curls blindlyโwhat Vivien didnโt appear to get was that it was Regulusโ intentionโto make her laugh, so he could listen to her sweet, sweet giggle.
Vivien tittered and came closer to him to brush it for him. Regulus was studying Vivien as she tried to stay focused but couldn't. She looked down at his face. Again, he looked so sweet. She couldn't help herself. She kissed him.
Regulus smiled against her lips. As she pulled away, she could see his dimples. After she fixed his hair, they separated a little and adored each other. He took her hand in his and kissed it.
Vi bit her bottom lip, trying to mask her grin. They stood adoring each other stupidly until someone caused them to turn their heads. Vivien quickly yanked her hand away from Regulus', when he was caressing it.
"Vivien? I was just going to look fo-" Remus made his way towards her but his eyes moved to Regulus and back to her, wondering what he walked on, his eyebrows twisting in suspicion.
"Regulus." He greeted younger Black coldly, noticing a small distance between him and Vivien.
She didn't give Lupin time to question it or think anything out of it.
"What do you need, Remi?" She tipped her head to the side as a sign for him to follow, so they would walk further into the castle and leave Regulus behind.
Remus joined her.
"Right. I'm writing about relations between druids and werewolves as an essay on any topic for Defense out of curiosity. And I realised that I know one druid myself. I was wondering if you could help me with this and tell me something more."
"We just saw each other like ten minutes agoโwhy didn't you come to me then?"
Vivien was sceptical. She had a bad feeling, and Remus acted weirdโunnatural.
"I just remembered about it. Why? Were-are you busy?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.
"No." She shook her head defensively, a little too fast for it to be true.
Vivien didn't think about it too much. She didn't want to be mistrustful of people who called themselves her friendsโbut maybe she should.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus stood watching Vivien walk away from him until she and Lupin turned a corner and disappeared. He spun towards the entrance of the castle and rolled his eyes at a person he saw standing in the archway.
"Brother!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning foolishly, throwing his hands in the air.
Regulus ignored him and walked out through the entrance. Outside he saw Marlene leaning on a wall. Younger Black looked between her and his brother, suspicious. His face frowned weakly.
"What do you want?" He began strolling away, knowing that they would bother him about whatever they were on either way so he wasn't worried about missing out on their stupidity.
"Congratulate,"
Regulusโ brows knitted. He glanced at his brother over his shoulder.
"On losing your virginity. This is an important holiday in our family calendar."
He rolled his eyes.
"Congratulations acceptedโnow you and McKinnon can piss off." He put his hands in his trousers' pockets, uninterested in further discussion on the topic.
"But I won't lieโI'm not shocked that Viva was the one to get your pants down." Sirius said provocatively.
"She has that effect on people." Marlene pursued, nodding her head in agreement.
Regulus spun around suddenly.
"What the hell are you two talking about?" His jaw tightened.
"Oh, come on. Me, Marls, and Moony heard your whole dirty talk in the corridor. I admitโI am in need of therapy now but I'm also impressed, brother."
"You are right. You are in need of therapy. You, McKinnon, and Lupin could use a visit to St Mungo's. It seems you're delusional." Regulus rolled his eyes once more and turned away.
Sirius and Marlene followed him.
"Don't deny it. I'm the best sheriff in the town, and with Depute McKinnon we caught you criminals redhanded."
Regulus threw his head back, groaning out of irritation. He felt his brain cells dying with Sirius' every word.
"And Lupin is who?"
"He's my partner in crime."
"Agreed because spying cannot be unintentional. So little you and little friends of yours eavesdropped on Vivien's private conversation with intention." Regulus commented.
"It was a public corridor, mate. It's not like you tried to be picky with a hiding spot." Marlene declined the accusations, in a duh-uh tone.
"Sure, but us being in the wrong doesn't make you automatically right. I have this insane idea that if Vivien didn't tell you something, it means she didn't want to."
"So you admit that you got shagged by her?" Sirius asked stubbornly. "I can't tell if our mother would be proud or disappointed by the choice."
"Listen carefully, you idiots. I know you never respected boundaries, brother, but you McKinnon seem more understanding. Do better as a friend than a bastard of my brother and don't involve yourself in something you weren't invited into." Regulus spoke harshly, facing Marlene.
He turned around to march away.
Sirius was too into himself but Marlene felt bad. Younger Black was correct. They didn't have a right to spy on Vivien for their fun! They violated her privacy and Regulus was rightโthere was a reason Viva kept something to herself. If anyone looked at McKinnon, they would know she had guilt written all over her face.
Regulus sighed, "I'm not surprised Vivien doesn't feel comfortable with you. You all treat her as entertainment, not a person. Even now you feel entitled to her privacy because you want to make a joke out of me, Sirius. It's sad that you're so full of self-righteousness that you are blind to humilityโafter all you're not so different from our family, are you?"
It was like anything flew over Sirius' head once he was up to fun. He only waved his hand dismissively, sweeping off Regulus' words to the side.
"You really have been into her ever since, Regulus. It was like Viva saidโpatheticโbut I guess it was worth the wait, if it came out of her lips while you two were making out, but think..."
Sirius didn't have a particular point. He only wanted to get the reaction out of Regulus and bug him for being in love, like brothers do to each other.
"Sirius, leave it." Given up, Marlene muttered but she knew he wouldn't.
"Viva wanted to bite your head off for almost four years. Now she wants to play with you because it excites her. But let's be honestโshe's not a relationship person. I mean, she's brilliant, but not in social skills. She's not considerate or tactful. She's still unsure, if she can call us friends."
"I wonder why?" Regulus rolled his eyes, not enjoying hisself, followed by the idiot of his brother and his brother's less idiotic friend.
"She dated Nolan from our year for over three months. He told her he liked her, they shagged repeatedly, and she thought they were being friendly." Sirius chuckled, causing Regulusโ eye to twitch at that name. His teeth gritted, and a muscle in his jaw jumped.
Marlene tensed too.
"Yesterday Viva shagged Bones, today she hates you and wants to kiss you, and tomorrow she shags you and wants to hate you. She's cleverโshe listens and observes. She sees how you look at her and she hears what people say. But she probably can't even conceptualise what it actually means to be in love, even if she wanted to. Everyone knows Vivien lacks an understanding of the world and interprets everything amiss."
"And your point is?"
"Use a moment in her world but don't expect little Miss France to stay, brother."
"You're no good as a detective or as a criminal, if you eavesdrop on people without pulling your ears out of your ass first."
"Ouch! You were whatโonce inside of her, and the impact on your soul is already here? Damn that girl! She's effective."
Regulus scoffed, but it was Marlene who scolded Sirius,
"Black, this is not funny anymore!"
"You're disgusting, brother. You can't even listen correctly, if you use your whole brain, can you? I want to remind you that Vivien and I are two sides of the same coinโin this case, whatever happens to me, happens to her. You say Vi is your frie-"
"Vi?" Sirius spluttered, making Regulus shut his mouth.
"Vi, Vi, Vi," He sang, Regulus storming him with a glare. He laughed loudly.
"Oh, Merlin's pants! Vi took your 'v', Regulus!" He howled like a wolfโor like a dog.
"Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot!" Regulus snapped like a broken wand, coming closer to him to shove him.
"For once I agree with Regulusโshut the fuck up, imbecile!" Marlene scowled, pushing him too.
After she pushed not-so-sober Sirius, he gave her a dirty look. But she gave him a dirtier one. They were drunk but Sirius was completely out of himself.
And it was too late. The potion had been spilled, all three of them wandering through the field earned some glances after Sirius' wild howls. There were some giggles and whispers among students gathered around.
Regulus felt his stomach tighten in pity.
He lowered his face, ashamed of people knowing Vi had sex with him. He saw Marlene pushing Sirius to angrily walk away from both Black brothers. He saw how she passed Lupin, who had stood rotted to the ground, hearing Sirius announce something so secretive to tens of students they didnโt even know names of.
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Chapter 11: shug the fug up
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien noticed stares following her around the castle. She thought it was anxiety playing tricks on her. Unfortunately it wasn't.
Tuesday morning, she was aware she wasn't out of her mind. She sat down on a bench beside Emmeline and Sybill. They glanced at her looking around erratically.
"Sybie, Emma, did something happen?" She furrowed her eyebrows, meeting their eyes. "Like in the past twenty-four hours?"
Her dormmates shared a sorrowful look out of the corners of their eyes, realising Vivien didn't know!
Sybill sighed sadly.
Still it was Emmeline who spoke out, "I don't know how, but there is this rumour about yo-"
"Foxy! I mean, Vivien." Florentine Parkinson and her two peasants approached Vivien. She looked them up and down. Parkinson was smiling sweetly at her with her fake excitement.
Vivien only looked at Parkinson blankly, blinking, not acting out a courtesy. She already didn't enjoy a single second of that companion.
"Hi girls." Florentine greeted Emmeline and Sybill, whose names she probably didn't even bother to ever find out.
Vivien lifted eyebrows and looked at her silent peasants. One of the girls held a quill and a journal, the other carried three bagsโher own, the other peasants's, and Parkinson's.
"I come to you professionally. I think I finally found something to write about. I even have a title for my article." Florentine said sweetly.
"Go for it?" Vivien claimed, uncertain and unenthusiastic, her tone confused why she asked for her agreement now.
Florentine clapped her hands together, her head nodding.
"Yes, so it's 'Vivien and all the vs she has stolenโa story of a foxy whore!' and I would love to interview you. It seems you are the exact person I'm looking for, Vi." Parkinson said excitedly, and her peasants erupted, their laughter spilling like lava, making Vivienโs stomach twist.
Her throat burnt with a sour taste.
Parkinson maintained eye contact with Vivien and tilted her head, challenging her.
Sybill stiffened in discomfort.
Vivien tensed, effortlessly recognising the name only one person used for her.
"How did you just call me?" She asked silently, hurting, feeling pathetic.
"What the fuck did you just call her?" Emmeline jumped up, asking at once with Vivien.
Their reactions made Parkinson and her peasants giggle even more.
With her eyes twitching, Vivien looked between her roommates.
Trelawney glanced at her out of the corners of her eyes nervously and shamefully.
"Vivien-Emma and I-I-I mean-we were-"
"We were about to tell you that there is a rumor about you and Blackโthat it was you two to have sex at the Astronomy Tower." Vance said straight to the point, seeing how Sybill became a nervous wreck.
There was no way to bring those news to Vivien subtly.
"So is it true?" Florentineโs head rolled to the other side.
Vivien clenched her fists, the corners of her eyes prickling.
"What is true?" She felt anger wash over her like a cold shower, tears threatening to escape.
"That Vi took Regulus' v!" The peasants sang theatrically.
Vivien jumped up like Emmeline had done before, making them snort.
"What the fuck did you two shadow-brained creatures of nature say?"
It was Sirius who made fun of Vivien but before the rumour reached her, the truth had been twisted inside out.
At the time Vivien heard that it was Regulus and one of his friends joking around and saying shite like, Vi took your v, mate.
And not one of her own friendsโnot Sirius, Remus, or Marleneโor anyone else dared tell her the truth. For someone brave, they acted like cowards.
After that interaction, jokes like, Vi takes v for free!, had hunted her the whole day like she was a prey to other predatory teenagers. She ignored it, sensing that Regulus tried to catch her more than once but she didn't spare him even a dirty look. At the time, she didn't think he deserved to even breathe the same air as her.
It was repulsive to be the butt of such a joke but Vivien didn't care what people said. She never cared about the opinions of people stupider than her.
But teenagers did what they did best and they were being brutal.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat alone at the Ravenclaw table during dinner. She was reading her book and eating her dinner, completely spaced out.
Until she felt cold liquid drown her. Her hair became wet, her face was covered with wetness. She saw pumpkin juice dripping onto the pages of her book. Vivien stood up violently with her blood boiling. If someone touched her right then, they would burn alive. She heard a cup hitting the stone floor. Someone levitated their cup of pumpkin juice to spill it over her.
Vivien heard laughs. She gritted her teeth, closing her lecture with a thud.
The professors stood up from their table, looking for who humiliated Vivien.
She saw her favourite Gryffindors staring at her, shocked. They were the shocked ones?
Vivien stepped on the cup, crushing it. She gripped the copy of "Frankenstein" in one hand and dug her nails into the inner side of the other. She felt the orange liquid dripping on her white button shirt. She had to make her way through the whole Great Hall after she took a seat on the other end of the table, far far away from the doorway. Sweet.
She stomped, her steps thumping.
Teddy ran to her, "Vivien, are you okay?"
She saw Rosaire, Ambrosie, and his friendsโKingsley Shacklebolt and Hestia Jonesโfollowing. She saw Marlene, Sybill, and Emmeline standing up too. So did Zahara, Edgar, Frank, and Amelia at the Hufflepuff table. Her brothers and friends meant no harm, but Vivien was furious. She didn't want to take out her fury on the wrong people.
She took a deep breath, "I want to be left alone."
She passed Teddy and the rest, rushing until she saw the boyโone and only.
Regulus entered the Great Hall with Evan, Vivien chuckled bitterly.
Evan noticed her first and he whispered to Regulus, who looked at her. Rosier abandoned him and went towards the Slytherin table. Black casually stood there with his hands in pockets of his trousers, waiting for Vivien charging at him like a wild beast.
"Vivien-"
She threw her book to the ground.
"VIVIEN? I will show you, Vivien, you fucking cretin!" She came closer, instantly shoving him away. "Vivien my fucking ass!"
"Hasn't he already?" Someone shouted and the couple heard howls of students, but they only stared at each other.
"Can we talk somewhere in private?" Regulus took a step closer towards her.
She pushed him away again.
"Oh, now you want to be private? It has never bothered you before!"
Students around them cackled and chortled.
Vivien didn't want to actually hurt Regulus physically. Yet, he grabbed her wrists, and all she knew next is that he pinned her back against his torso. He held her tightly with her arms crossed on her chest to stop her from attacking him.
"Calm down, Vivien." He murmured, feeling her body tremble with emotions.
Vivien could easily kick Black in the leg but she had a better idea. She smacked her arse against him. Everyone's eyes nearly fell out of their orbits at that. The couple was observed like pets in Magical Menagerie. Regulus began dragging her, who was struggling against him.
He felt his neck radiate red at her tactics.
"We're leaving."
"Already? I thought you wanted everyone to know, and they don't even know half of it!"
"Please, be quiet before you say something we'll both regret."
"I should have bit your dick off, Black!"
"Exactly what I meant."
"What? Now, you don't like my mouth? I thought you enjoyed how they move."
Vivien heard students howling and whistling, once she was out of the Great Hall.
"Bollocks! Vivien, stop!" Regulus let go of her.
They stood in a corner, his button-up ended up being stained from the pumpkin juice Vivien had poured over her like rain. She pushed him once more to make him stay away from her.
"If you're trying to disprove rumours, you're doing a poor job!" Black whisper-shouted, leaning to her height.
Vivien giggled with her eyes widening manically in disbelief at the audacity.
"Why would I disprove rumours? You wanted them, didn't you? Then you got them!" She shouted. "You wanted me to fuck youโI have! You wanted the world to know about it, and it does! Regulus Arcturus fucking Black wants it, and he gets it! Everything has to go your way. Your piece-of-shite brain wouldn't survive if it had to exist outside of your pride, wouldn't it?" She spat out those words directly into his face, her hatred dripping down her tongue like venom.
Regulus already had figured that Vivien didn't know the truthโand he had no heart to be the one to tell her that it was his brother who had backstabbed her. Sirius, who called himself Vivienโs friend. He, Marlene, Remus, and her Gryffindorsโnone had told her the truth.
Vi already had much on her mind with what happened to her that year, and Regulus could see how mad she was all the time. Silently, she lived in her furyโshe needed friends to get through it, even if hers were shitty.
Regulus swallowed his emotions down his throat despite how hard it was. For a second, his voice got stuck, but he managed to speak up somehow, "I didn't mean for it to happen."
He dared to say stupidly and Vivien scoffed.
"What the fuck did you mean to happen? Walking around joking about it with your friend? Who the fuck did you tell that 'Vi took your v', hmm? Was it Rosier and Barty? Or maybe you did it with your popular friends like Avery, Mulciber, and Carrow?"
Regulus opened his mouth and againโhis voice fell quiet before he even told her anything.
Vivien rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"It was Evan. He's dumb. He was just jokingโwe didn't know anyone was listening."
Her face twisted. She snapped straight, her finger pointed, poking him on the chest.
"Why the fuck did you tell him? You said gentleman never kiss and tell, but you did!"
"He's my best friend. We tell each other everyth-"
Vivien saw red, her body boiling alive and her skin prickling like she was tied to the stake over a fire.
"What did you tell Rosier, hmm?! What I told you?! Or how I touched you?! Or how my lips felt on you?! Or how my tits and arse felt in your hands?! Tell me! I want to hear it too!" She attempted to stab him with her nail repeatedly. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HIM?!"
She could hear her heart pounding in her head and ears. She saw her hand trembling.
"Vi, I-"
Vivien scowled with her whole face.
"What the fuck did you just call me, Black?" She pushed Regulus again with her finger only now.ย
He stumbled and she hissed at him.
"You're pathetic like truly."
"Why does it matter to you what people say?" Regulus' brows knitted together. "You never cared."
Vivien cackled out loud. Someone spilled their drink on her because of Regulus' stupid joke and he was surprised she could nurse a grudge against him?
"You fucking cretin! I don't! I really don't care what other people say! I cared what you thought, Regulus! And you thought so little of me that you made me the butt of some joke!" She confessed desperately.
They could hear she was on the verge of tears, almost crying out her words. Her eyes were glassy like cracked glass, her vision blurring a little.
Vivien chewed on her bottom lip, shaking her head. I'm the pathetic one, not fucking Black. She wasn't even furious because of some rumours. She was furious because of the truth. Regulus promised it would be a secret out of his own free will and he still didn't keep his own word.
She really had thought it meant something for himโthat the intimacy they once tangled themselves in was something special to him. She didn't understand why she cared that it didn't, trying to convince herself it wasn't special to her either.
"Everyone kept laughing at how Regulus Black liked me and I believed themโbut if that is how you treat someone you like, I would rather be hated."
Regulus knew that if it was Vi's reaction to supposedly him doing such a thing, the truth would send her into a murderous spiral.
"These few fucking hours we had on the Astronomy Tower were the only precious thing that I had for myself this year and you took it from me for yourself, after you promised me you wouldn't. I didn't make you promise, but you did. Why?" She gesticulated uncontrollably.
She could feel her heart ache pitifully.
"Most boys-they wouldn't bother to act niceโthey wouldn't bother to fool after. You? You are worse than them. And-and I thought that maybe, after all, you aren't as spoiled inside as everyone thinks you are-that there is this sweet teenager under that ugly faรงade of a rotten to the core persona. There is not. You-you are spoiled inside, Regulus. You are rotten, and there is nothing you can do about it because that's how you were created to be."
Regulus could see how Vi gave up on fury. She became rawly sad, gesticulating and stumbling on her words. Her hands were shaking, moving around. Her appearance caused Regulus' heart to ache but her words completely broke it.
It wasn't a good feeling to hear that the person he was so desperately in love with hated him so dearly in the truest and purest form of it. Vi's words she shared with him when they were not so sober hit him like a bludger now. She felt disgusted but not only with himโwith herself too. And other teenagers were there to witness it. No, they were there to shame.
Having sex with Regulus caused Vivien to feel repulsed with herself. It wasn't a good feeling to know she hated herself as much as him because of something so special to him.
Regulus was wrong. He and Vi were not two sides of the same coin. She got humiliated for being intimate with a boy, and he was praised the whole day for 'shagging' her. Or that was what being two sides of the one coin meant? While the couple stood in the corner of the corridor, other teenagers kept passing them, surely eavesdropping on their fight. Wizards were always nosy.
When Vivien said her last word, she turned away to walk away.
Foolishly, Regulus grasped her wrist, making a mistake.
"Vivien, I am so sor-" She flinched at the sudden touch.
Before he finished, she smashed her fist on his face.
She punched him.
Vivien wasn't a violent persona at nature but she was hurt and frustrated, driven by bad memories and distaste on her tongue. And Regulus kept testing her with his unwise explanations.
"Bloody hell!"
"Miss Beauchรชne!"
Among students, Vivien heard Professor Slughorn.
Regulus stumbled back, quite bewildered that she had hit him. She took her wrist into her hand. It shook like a leaf on the wind out of pain. It kept being abused that spring and bones in that place were weak.
"You can take your audacity to say you're sorry and shove it up your ass! Pleasure yourself with it!" Vivien shouted walking away from Regulus, when Slughorn came closer to him.
"I'm fine, Professor." She heard Regulus assuring. "It was my fault. I provoked Vivien."
She scoffed, turning towards Black one last time. He slowly raised his chin, glancing at her. They shared a look with their hearts in pieces scattered all over the ground.
"I fucking hate you, Regulus."
"I know." He lowered his head, holding his reddening cheek.
Vivien turned around, laughing to herself in disbelief.
"He fucking knows! Oh, what a relief. That makes me feel better."
In the meantime, thunder struck outside, and the pouring rain thudded against the windows.
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ย ย ย ย ย The following days were rainy, grey clouds instead of a lightโonly darkness. The wind was so strong it could blow anyone off the ground. Sometimes there were thunderstorms and bolts jolting.
Someโlike Sybillโbelieved Vivien triggered the change in weather because of her druid's roots.
Druids always lived close to natureโyou are in harmony with it. It gives you power, and you give it power back. Nature wants a balance. She, who takes, has to give something backโBibie had said, believing that nature poured strength from Vivien's inner life.
It makes sense. I mean, sorry to say this, but you have no control over your anger, Vivien. Maybe it's like little wizardsโthey get mad, and sometimes something will explode out of nowhere, like a glass or a lamp. It puts it all together.
Sybill and Emmeline were simply right. There was no end to Vivien's rage just as there was no end to the storm.
It was the weekend before O.W.L.s started.
Vivien was sitting in the library like most fifth-year students. Although the library was full, she sat alone at the table, most people avoiding her and her avoiding most people.
Speaking of the devil(s)!
"Can we join?" Vivien looked up from her Transfiguration volume to see the self-called Marauders with Lily, Alice, and Mary.
"Be my guests." She responded and went back to reading.
Gryffindors sat down, some unpacking their bags, some not.
Vivien knew it wasn't an accident that the whole group was there. Mary, Peter, James, and Sirius preferred to gouge their eyes with wands out than read in their free time.
Vivien wanted to ask them where Marlene was since she had noticed McKinnon ditching them. It didn't matter though. They would say whatever, and she would seemingly trust them on that anyway.
"Vivi, how's your detention after you know?" Sirius asked out of nowhere.
She raised her stare from her lecture.
"After I punched your brother?"
Black nodded.
She went back to paging through the volume.
"I had it last weekend." She mused under her nose.
"Just once?"
She sighed heavily, "Just once. Your brother defended me as a victim of mine. Slughorn, Flitwick, and McGonagall accepted his decision, though they still had to punish me somewhat because I can't go around punching other students, even if they assure they are fine with it. They sent a letter to my mama and took away like a hundred points from Ravenclaw." Vivien explained, her eyes following words on a page.
There was silence, and she knew the Gryffindors shared meaningful glances. She rolled her eyes.
"Did Regulus get punished?" Lily asked her delicately, her tone tender.
"No." Vivien muttered, wanting to read that stupid book.
"What do you mean no?" James frowned his brows.
"I mean no. Regulus didn't get punishedโbecause I didn't say anything." She muttered more, trying to read.
Everyone stared at her, stupified. Dissatisfied with what he heard, James spoke up, "Why would you do it? He went around spreading disgusting lies about youโ!"
"Regulus didn't lieโwe fucked." Vivien admitted, irritated.
Only Peter and Alice, sitting on her sides, heard her perfectly. They looked at each other to make sure they heard her correctly.
"Viva, you could accuse him of defamation of character. You were bullied and publicly humiliated because of the lie he spread aroundโ!" Potter kept babbling with his big mouth.
He couldn't accept that his childhood best friend would sleep with the Regulus Black. He was denying it for as long as he could.
After a few of his first words, Vivien stopped listening to him preachโthat was all it was. She wasn't interested in the topic and somehow James felt entitled to talk about it. She groaned, her head rolling to the back.
"I said and I quote: Regulus didn't lieโwe fucked!" She whisper-shouted so all Gryffindors would hear her.
They looked at her, faces stirred and blending with various emotions. She stared at them sharply. There were emotions mixing, but no one was startled.
They already know, don't they? It was suspicious, but was it? They heard rumours and there was always some truth in them. Don't be paranoid, Vivien! She repeated to herself.
"Orโlike you all call itโshagged. I shagged RegulusโRegulus shagged meโwe shagged. Can you shug the fug up now?" She turned a page of her book, looking back at it.
"Right." Jamie looked down at his own lecture and brushed his hair nervously.
It is suspicious! James Potter believed in the rule that gentlemen never kiss and tell. He was respectful and a little reserved about such a subject. He would address Regulus' shameful behaviour of speaking so carelessly about his intimate lifeโespecially if he shared it with the person Jamie cared about. But he didn't do it.
Vivien stayed quiet too. They all sat in thick silence, strained, all the said and unsaid dragging in the silence.
Sirius cleared his throat, "So Vivien,"
She sighed, shooting her pointy stare at him, waiting for him to say something.
"You had sexual intercourse with my younger brother." His face was blankโslightly white.
Vivien couldn't tell if he asked or restated what she had already said, her head tilting, her eye twitching.
The fuck? Sirius wouldn't say sexual intercourse, he would say something naughty like bonking or shagging, even something nasty like screwing the life out of each other. But sexual intercourse? Too formal for Sirius Black!
Vivien squinted. Black had to think she was lost with what he said. Partially she was but she was mostly lost with the way he had worded it.
"Sorry." Sirius gathered meaningful looks from his friends. "I'm just so shocked." No, he isn't!
Sirius and Remus had an eye-fight.
ย Lupin flared through his nose like a dragonโor wild wolf.
"I think what Padfoot is trying to express is a questionโif you like like Regulus?"
Vivien snapped in his direction, caught off guard, entirely forgetting about her observations for a long time.
"Remi, what are you even talking about?" She cringed, her nose crinkling in disgust at such a suggestion.
Some snorted at her reaction.
"You just confessed that the rumour about Regulus having his first time with you is true." Lily whispered, and she nodded her head slowly, agreeing. "So it is natural for us to wonder, if it meant something for you as a feeling, Vivien." She smiled softly, her eyes kind. "Like happiness. You know what we mean."
Vivien did but she didn't know how they thought of such a conclusion. She raised her brows.
"I do have feelings for arseclownโlike repulsion. The sight of him makes me want to punch him again, but I don't know what emotion this is."
She bit on the dry skin of her bottom lip, her so-called friends cackled out like frogs, collecting dirty looks from other teenagers around that were actually trying to study.
"Okay, but this is how he makes you feel right now." Alice specified, meeting Vivienโs eyes.
"How did he make you feel before you two fought?" Mary asked, emphasising.
"During sex? Aroused."
"Merlin," James mumbled out, nearly fainting, grey like a ghost. Vivien was fine with sending him to the Hospital Wing so he would fug off.
"By the way, Sirius, Remiโare these Black's genes because your brother has a really big co-" Annoyed, she lifted with her hands to show them what she meant-
Alice stopped her, catching her wrists, instructing her to lower her arms.
"Please, enough." Peter snorted, putting his book over his face to not see more faces from James and Sirius, both of them becoming white like dead ones.
Remus only rolled his eyes at all the childish behaviour of Vivien, Sirius, and James.
"Don't play with them, because I think a little bit more and Prongs is going into cardiac arrest."
"Shame.โ Vivien hummed, carelessly, โRegulus said he would let me send him into cardiac arrest."
Gryffindors looked at her, honestly shocked.
"Vivien, please." Mary huffed. "Are you attracted to Regulus Black?"
"Obviously. She made love with him." Alice answered before Vivien could.
Made love? Is SHE high?
"I didn-"
"I don't understand." James talked over herโwith the rest. "You hated the assclown."
"True. You always described him as a bigoted inbreed. No offence, Sirius."
"None taken, MacDonald. But in my brother's defence, he's just manipulated. I was brainwashed too but it's nothing you cannot unlearn yourself."
"You were twelve then and he's what? Like sixteen now."
"Our brains are still developing, Peter. It's like a four-year difference, not four-decade."
"Exactly. Lily's correct. It's not too late to undo what was already done to Regulus-"
Vivien closed her eyes, blocking them out, not listening to them all.
Her so-called friends started talking over herโabout herโto her. They never talked with Vivienโthey always talked over Vivien about Vivien to Vivien.
And they kept messing with her head, confusing her. She couldn't listen to them. It made her feel even worse because it probably never even occurred to them what they were doing and that it made her feel bad. They were debating with each other on her behalfโit was uncomfortable.
Vivien was overwhelmed, her patience thinning until it snapped like a thread. Vivien hit her forehead with a fist, lightning striking the window nearest their table. Everything went quiet, everyone looked at the window and then at Vivien.
"Vivien, are you alright?" Alice placed a hand on her shoulder.
Vivien glared between everyone joltingly like the bolt she had caused, her eye twitching.
"No, I am fucking not." She shook her head. "I am not alright and I've been waiting for anyone to figure it out but none of you ever do! I'm right here with you, guysโare you aware of that? I can talk for myself, and if I choose not to, maybeโjust fucking maybeโI don't want to talk about it. I don't know why you bother to come here to talk to me. You talk about my secret, which I didn't share with any of you, right in front of my face. Not even with me because if you talked with me, you would acknowledge that I have been irritated by voices of yours from the beginning." She spat out her poisonous words.
Gryffindors looked at her, thunderstruck, maybe finally really seeing her
"Vivien, we are sorry." Remus apologised after a solid second.
"We really didn't mean to offend you." Lily tried to fix what was broken.
Vivien knew Evans and Lupin probably understood her as soon as she stressed out what was wrong. She heard remorse and well-nursed regret in their voices, but it was too late.
"Listen-" Vivien chuckled bitterly at James, shutting him up.
"I've been fucking listening the whole time! I really fucking have! This whole year, the year before, and the one before. I listened to you every single time. I listen to your judgments and wise words. I listen to you talk about me right in front of my face. I really fucking tried to be your friend but you don't see me as an equal, do you? I'm a toy that you play with when you are bored. I'm here only for your fun." She gesticulated and teenagers watched her tremble and redden with anger.
"Vivien, you're in your moods a lot and you're not as talkative as some of us are. It is not fair to expect us to guess when you want to talk." Mary spoke up slowly.
In my fucking moods? I will show you the fucking mood!
"Nothing about being friends with you is fair! If any of you paid attention to me instead of ignoring me whenever I tried to say something, you wouldn't have to fucking guess. You are shitless. You want me to listen but you never listen."
MacDonald lowered her head after Vivien scolded her.
The librarian approached the table, "Miss Beauchรชne, please-"
"I'm already leaving, Madame Pince." Vivien jarred to her feet, her chair scraping against the wooden floor.
She was packing her things into her bag, her so-called friends trying to stop her from leaving,
"Viva, come on."
"Calm down, please. We can-"
Alice tried to place her hand on her shoulder again, but Vivien snatched it from her.
"What? We can do what? Talk?! Talk with a wallโit will be the same for you. A wall won't expect you to act like its friends at least."
Vivien rushed past the table until she took a step back to face Gryffindors for the last timeโowing them her courageous honestyโthey deserved to know the truth.
"You know, what's funny? I was happier these few hours with a boyโwhom I dislike more than I dislike you all together right nowโthan with all of youโmy supposed friendsโthis whole fucking time. Vivien my ass." She passed Madame Pince, giggling sourly, her face and stomach twisting.
Gryffindors made her the happiest sometimes but other times they kept overwhelming her and making her anxious. They tried to adapt her to them instead of accepting her as she was. They treated Vivien like their pet.
Leave the book, Viva.
Come on, it's party time, Viva!
Play with us, Viva.
Do this; do that, Viva.
Vivien did not blame them for living their livesโshe blamed them for trying to live hers.
As she was leaving the library, a thunderstorm echoed outside.
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ย ย ย ย ย The first O.W.L. on June sixth of 1977 was Transfiguration. It was Monday morning.
Vivien was writing the theoretical part of the exam with the rest of the fifth-year students. McGonagall was watching all the students suspiciously, walking around the hall between desks, observing cautiously for evidence of cheating.
Vivien was focused, when she felt something weightless hit the back of her head. She looked around and saw a few fellow fifth-years watching her with smirks, suppressing their snickering.
She saw a ball of parchment on the floor beside her chair. She rolled her eyes and looked at McGonagall, who was in a different corner of the hall. Vivien lowered and reached the parchment ball on the floor. She straightened in her chair and unwrapped it.
Someone came prepared, but not for the exam.
"
แด แดแดส แด ษชแด ษชแดษด,
แดแด แดสสแดษดแด ๊ฑแดแดก สแดแดก ๊ฐแดแดแดแดแด แดแดแด แด๊ฐ แดสแด สสแดษชษด สสแดแดแด แดกแด๊ฑ สส สแดแด, สแดแด ษช แด แดษด'แด แดสษชษดแด สแด แดกแด๊ฑ ษขแดแดแด แดแด สแดแดแดสษดษชษดษข แดสแด ๊ฐแดแด แดแดส.
ษช แดแดษด ๊ฑสแดแดก สแดแด ๊ฑแดแดส๊ฑ แดแด แดสแด แด๊ฑแดสแดษดแดแดส แดแดแดกแดส, สแดแด ษดแดแด แดสแด แดษดแด๊ฑ ษชษด แดสแด ๊ฑแดส.
แด๊ฑ: ษดษชแดแด แดแดษดแดษชแด๊ฑ! แดกแด๊ฑ แดสแดสแด แด สสแด แดแด แดแดแดแดส ษชแด, แดส แดสแด สแดแด๊ฑแดษด สแดษขแดสแด๊ฑ สแด๊ฑษด'แด ษขแดแด ษชแด ษช๊ฑ สแดแดแดแด๊ฑแด สแดแด แด ษชแด ษด'แด แดกแดแดส ษชแด?
แดสแด แดษดแด แดกสแด แดแดษด แดแดแดแด แดแดสแด แด๊ฐ แด ๊ฑสแดษข สษชแดแด สแดแด, แด.
"
Mulciber. Vivien scoffed, a few lightning striking outside. Everyone turned towards Vivien as she crushed paper in her hand, digging her nails into the inner side of her hand.
"Beauchรชne, is there any pro-" McGonagall made her way towards her desk. "Are you-" She squinted her eyes, noticing the piece of parchment in her hand. "Are you cheating?"
"Obviously." Vivien hissed at her. It's better to be caught cheating than showing someone that letter!
"Carefully with your tone." She spoke critically. "Show me what you have in your hand."
Vivien gritted her teeth. Unwillingly, she handed the professor the piece of parchment, looking awayโdown to her desk.
McGonagall took it and unwrapped it once more. Vivien could feel bile on her tongue, while McGonagallโs eyes lingered on the words. She looked at her and then at another student.
Vivien glanced out of a corner of her eye at the same person. Regulus lowered his head in shame, knowing it was one of consequences of the intimacy they once had shared. Vivien glanced back at McGonagall, who sighed,
"You're lucky you're not cheating. Come into my office after the exam. I was hoping to talk with you, Vivien."
She said this and then faced the hall and other teenagers, watching the scene play out. She raised her hand, crumpling the piece of parchment in her hand for everyone to see,ย
"For whoever threw thisโyou'll be found and punished. There is no tolerance for harassment at Hogwarts. And for those who laughedโcongratulations. It is unimaginably brave of you to point your fingers at someone once they cannot see it. Now everyone back to the exam. The clock is ticking."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien knocked on the office door. It opened wide. She saw McGonagall sitting in one of two armchairs placed at the fireplace, awaiting Vivienโs arrival.
"Come in, Beauchรชne."
Vivien entered the office, and the door closed behind her.
Minerwa pointed at the armchair, "Take a seat, child."
Vivien wasn't sure why she was there. She assumed it was because she used an inappropriate tone towards McGonagall and tried to lie to her. Or it could be because of what was described in that stupid note. Vivien slowly dragged her feet.
"Professor, I want to apologise for my behaviour during an exam. Despite losing my temper, I had no right to take out my frustration on you. It was impolite." She sat in the other armchair hesitantly, looking at McGonagall. "I am sorry."
"I've already forgiven you. I understand your reaction. At your age I would rather lie than admit I was in trouble too." McGonagall's eyes were gentle, when they locked with Vivien cracking her knuckles unconsciously.
"Am I in trouble for that letter then?"
"Absolutely not. Child, who do you take me for? I highly doubt you would write something so unsophisticated and throw it at yourself."
"Yes, my writing is not so primitive." Vivien nodded her head. "But I meant if I am in trouble for what was written in it?"
McGonagall crossed her legs, a heavy sigh carrying with the weight,
"Listen, Vivien. As a professor, I demand that students follow the school's statute. But with nearly every student, I spent ten months per year for seven years here. My colleagues and I are not mad enough to think that we have control over everyone's every minute of their residency here. We know that during your school years you become young adults and begin to experience life differently. I cannot punish you for something I didn't catch you doing based on a letter that someone threw at you to humiliate you. Only the founders know what happens inside Hogwarts' walls." She elaborated.
Vivien swallowed slowly.
"But-"
She whined quietly, her face quivering in helplessness, "Please, Professor, no buts."
McGonagall smiled softly.
"But like I said, me and my colleagues spend ten months here every year with all the students. We see and hear a lot."
Vivien lowered her face, playing with her rings unconsciously but avoiding eye contact intentionally. She wasn't only ashamed like Regulusโshe was disgustedโsick to her stomach.
"I had the displeasure of hearing some rumours coming from students for the last two weeks. I believe a few other professors have it too. Professor Flitwick asked me to talk with you." McGonagall claimed caringly. "He didn't ask me to talk with you as Deputy Headmistress. He asked me to talk to you as a woman. In his opinion, that would be most comfortable for you and I agree. I've worked here for decades now but for Professor Flitwick, it's the beginning of his second decade of work here. Your year is the first that was entirely entrusted to him after he became the head of Ravenclaw. Do you know why we choose the head of the house?"
"So us students have someone to look up to, and have someone looking after us?" Vivien raised her gaze uncertainly, her eyebrows furrowing, a line appearing between them.
"Exactly. So you have someone looking after you. Professor Flitwick is concerned about your well-being. He's worried about you. Some rules of statute are there because it's easier not to talk about some subjects. I don't know how much or how little truth there is in those rumours I've heard and I'm not here to speculate about it or judge you. I'm here for you, Vivien. You went through unimaginable tragedies this year and you should be your only responsibility at such a young age, but you take care of your brothers as your responsibility. You are staying strong. But you don't have to do it on your own."
Vivien chuckled bitterly at those words, McGonagall softening.
"I know about your difficulties. From the moment I received a letter from your grandfather, I knew you would be a piece of work. And as a Deputy Headmistress I cannot appreciate the questionable moral compass you have sometimes. But as someone who looks after you, I'm proud, Vivien."
McGonagall beamed lightly, and the sincerity of it warmed Vivien's soul like the sun does to skin.
"Professor Flitwick is too. You are as brilliant as audacious you are. We have no doubts you will be at the top of your yearโthat's why I couldn't believe you would cheat. You are arrogant but you do something most people don't. You care. You have the best intentions at heart and I wish to believe so do your friends. Gryffindors may be ignorant but they will learn how to come along properly. It takes courage to share your feelings with others. Weak people think it takes strength to hide their feelings, but real strength is uncovering your vulnerability so fearlessly. You are strong, Vivien. I knew a girl like youโshe felt differentโshe tried to fit in and I'm proud you don't."
Vivien felt her eyes sting sourly.
"Do you know why other students use magic, jokes, and letters to upset you?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
Minerva leaned closer to her.
"Because they are using their chance to scare you but you scare them too much even now. They think they can scare you after what you have gone through. Vivien, don't let other people snuff out your spark. They try to scare you because they are scared of you. They don't understand you but we are created to be different."
Vivien was in desperate need of a few supportive words from anyone so badly and McGonagall gave them to her. Tears flooded her eyes, drowning her cheeks. She tried to wipe them.
She just needed someone to tell her she did something right that year. McGonagall held out her hand for her and once Vivien accepted it, she squeezed it.
"If you ever need anything, me and Professor Flitwick are always here for you. Always. Do you hear me, child?"
"I do, Professor." She smiled radiantly, even though tears were pouring down her cheeks
"Good."
McGonagall sat in silence, giving Vivien space and time to calm down. Only when she saw her getting hold of herself, she continued,
"Can you be honest with me and tell me if you know who wrote this letter?"
Vivien nodded her head. She gulped down her emotions,
"Mulciber, I guess. I mean Doyle. He and Regulus share a dormitory and were-or-or maybe are still friends. I don't know." She said with a slightly clogged nose.
"Child, I don't want to abuse your privacy but do you know who could spread that rumour about your and Mister Black's relation?"
"Regulus. He did it. He spoke some clownery with one of his friends and someone else overheard itโthey said it to someone else and so on. In the end, everyone is talking about it."
McGonagall straightened her posture, letting go of Vivien's hands. Her brows knitted together in shock.
"Young Black started it?"
"Yes. Why do you seem so surprised by that, Professor?" Vivien sniffed.
"Like I said, I see a lot. I'm aware of your complicated relationship with young Mister Black because you always argue with him. But even then, that boy adores you like a masterpiece. Only a blind man wouldn't notice."
"Only a blind man wouldn't be fooled then. I guess Re-" Vivien stopped herself. "Black was done adoring." She laughed bitterly.
McGonagall smiled sadly.
"Go for lunch, Vivien. There is a practical part of the exam about to begin soon."
Vivien nodded and stood up to leave the office but she paused at the door. She turned around, McGonagall still sitting in the armchair, quietly thinking.
"Professor?"
She looked at her.
"Yes?"
"Are you a girl who tried to fit in?"
"Yes."
"How much do you regret it?"
Professor McGonagall took a second to think, continuing to smile sadly, "There is not one memory from my youth that makes me happy. I have nothing good to remember my teenage years by."
Vivien left. Though McGonagall didn't answer her question straightforwardly, she gave her a straight answer.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Are you sure you don't want to go?" Emma asked, standing with Sybie at the door.
It was Friday after dinner. A lot of fifth-year students, instead of studying for the second week of exams, decided to celebrate the end of the first one.
"Go!" Vivien smiled at them, waving her hands at them. They insisted that she should join them, and they could go as a trio for a party in a field but Vivien wasn't in the mood.
But their sweetness sugarcoated her bitterness.
Still she stayed in bed, wearing pyjamas, reading "Frankenstein".
From time to time, she peeped at Pandora from behind her book. She was sitting on the floor in front of a cheval grass in a corner of the room. She felt her doing the same to her in the mirror, styling her long blonde hair. Finally they glanced at each other at the same time. Vivien closed her lecture with a deaf thud and she saw Pandora standing up from her seat on the wooden floor.
She came closer to her.
"Can I?" She asked, pointing her hand at Vivienโs mattress.
Vivien nodded slowly and she sat on the side, speaking out further. "I know we're not the closest-"
"That's one way to start a conversation."
"I know." Pandora snorted. "I know we're not the closest but I want you to know if you ever needed a friendly face in a crowd, I am that."
Vivien's eyebrows furrowed.
"I always hoped you would open up more but you didn't, which is fine. I understand you might like to be alone, but if you ever feel lonely, I want you to know I'm here, Vivien."
She squinted her eyes sceptically.
"Is it a rumour about me and Regulus or the one about me and other clowns?"
"I'm not doing it out of pity. Obviously I heard both but it's not because I feel sorry for you but because I think you deserve better than what you got. I feel sorry for your friends." She tilted her head.
"I know Regulus is one of my best friends but I do not agree with what he did. He is on his own, if he cannot do better. Whether the rumor is true or not, which I don't care about, I won't accept men disrespecting women like he has done to you."
"You don't talk with Black because of me?"
"Yes. You are a girl and I believe in female solidarity. Me, Dorcas, and Bartyโwe're on your side. Evan would be too, if it weren't for some boyish oath of loyalty between him and Reg."
"What do you mean Evan would be on my side?! He was the one to make fun of me with Regulus!" Vivien scowled, insulted at the suggestions, hateful of Evan the same as of Regulus.
"Evan would never make fun of you in such a way!" Malfoy laid her hand at her heart, wounded at the insinuation. "None of us even knew that Regulus had even had his first kiss. He was always so secretive about those things. Regulus said Mulciber and Avery looked through his things and found underwear from the Astronomy Tower that McGonagall hadโReg took it for the girl he had sex with. And when they fought about it, he mentioned you. Cecil repeated whatever was said to Snape and Carrows. Alecto said this to her friends, and they told theirs, and so on. And they turned the whole situation into a joke."
They glanced at each other, face quivering with confusion.
"I don't understand why Reg would say this in the first place."
Vivien was so, so confused. That story was so different from what she heard from Regulus himself, the same one who had told Pandora that. How would Avery and Mulciber know about that damn name then? It isn't an accident!
"It doesn't matter anyway." Vivien sighed, given up.
Pandora pressed her lips in a tight line. They sat in silence until Pandora slowly scooped her hand towards Vivienโs. Vivien looked at her, whose light irises flickered frivolously to encourage her to hold it. When Vivien took it, Pandora beamed brightly, and her nose scrunched cutely.
Pandora Malfoy was truly a sunshine. She radiated brighter than the sun. One look at her caused Vivien to light up.
"You know that I know that you know, don't you?" Vivien murmured.
"I do."
"What convinced you?"
"Please, Vivien, you are my dormmate of four yearsโnothing makes you get to know a person better than to live with them. Firstly Regulus couldn't stop making heart-shaped eyes at you every second you two were in the same room, and it didn't provoke you like it always had. Usually, you would show him a middle finger, scoff at him, roll your eyesโdo anything and then you two would fight, but now you pretended you didn't see any of his gazes after that infamous weekend. And then when you ran into him in the corridor and once you two looked at each other, you two could not stop yourselves from admiring. Plus the way you called him his name, and you were so open and comfortable with each other. It was obvious."
Vivien shared a look with Pandora. She giggled.
"So did he have his first kiss before you or not?"
Vivien squealed happily that she could tell someone about her secret.
"Honestly? I don't know. He was gentle and good at it, but I can't tell if it was beginner's luck or oppositelyโexperience."
They giggled giddy, but Vivienโs face fell at realisation,ย "But you two dated at the beginning of this yearโhadn't you-"
"Oh, Merlin, no! There is a reason why, after weeks, we decided to stay friends." Pandora snorted. "Regulus isn't dateable for most girls."
She gazed meaningfully at Vivien, who had to look away, her heart aching.
Pandora changed the topic after seeing how it hurt her new friend, "Merlin's beard, if Evan even knew you looked at Regulus with a neutral expression, he would never let anyone move on from it! If he knew you two ha-"
"What's going on with Rosier? I don't remember being friends with him."
"Oh, but he would love to be your friend!" Malfoy laughed.
Vivien smiled, astonished. Pandora had to read that she was surprised from her furrowed eyebrows.
"I think he got infected by Regulus' adoration for you. Or desperation. I don't know. But it's actually Evan who talks about you a lot."
"Am I really that talked about?" Vivien started playing with Pandora's hand delicately, looking at her pale skin and slim fingers.
"Yes! You are like the coolest person in school!" She exclaimed. "You smashed your arse against Regulus in front of everyone and told him to fuck himself with his audacity. And when you were going around happy and high for three days in a row, during our journal club meeting you told Florentine that if you were asked to describe her inner beauty, you would say it reminded you of the time your puffskein ate its puke and shit it out. It was very specific, but hilarious."
Vivien was stunned at the news. She heard everything Pandora said but eight words engraved in her brain.
"You think I am cool?"
"Do you know that literally everyone calls you little Miss France? You are the funniest person here, Vivien. I would be a fool, if I didn't." Pandora squeezed her hand.
"It's because you, Brits, are boring, Rora. And I believe Rosier isn't the only one infected by Regulus' obsession with me." Vivien joked.
Malfoy beamed at Miss Beauchรชne.
"No, Evan might not be the only one."
Chapter 12: guests' guest
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย At the beginning of August Mrs. and Mr. Black along with Manon decided to go on a vacationโa childless one that was. Vivien laughed, hearing that. It wasn't like either of them took care of a child at Grimmauld Street 12. Nonetheless they went on a trip to France, Manon introducing her new friends to RennesโBeauchรชne's family cityโand to their culture. Vivien didn't think the married couple seemed like connoisseurs of art and history, but Manon seemed cheered.
Vivien didn't complainโit was blissful to spend some time without two lunatics and her loopy mother haunting the house when it was so dark on its own anyway. Vi and Regulus let her brothers sit with them at the big table instead of the small one in the corner of the dining room. It was Friday morning, breakfast. Eden sat on Vi's laps, eating from the same plate. He kept stealing from his big sister's half of the plate, which caused Rosaire to snort every time.
Teddy kept observing his younger brothers but Ambroise and Regulus savoured their meals, ignoring everything. They were enjoying the absence of their parents too much. Everyone did, although no one said it out loud. Walls have ears.
Vivien rested her chin on top of her little brother's head.
"Eden, why is it that when I offered to share my orange and grapefruit with you, you said you didn't like it but now you have eaten most of it?"
"Stolen tastes better." He answered, shrugging his small shoulders.
Older Beauchรชne boys burst out into a laugh like bubbles of a brewing mixture.
"You cannot hide it anymore, Vivi. You created a little likeness of yours." Teddy brushed Eden's hair.
Regulus glanced at him, intrigued.
"Why is that?"
Theodore referred to one of the family stories but it was Ambroise who told it, grinning at the memories.
"Our brothers won't remember. They were too young. It was even before mama was pregnant with Philippe, so Eden wasn't even in the picture. Vivien has a criminal past like a little thief over here is actively working on having."
Vi ate a piece of a grapefruit, studying Regulus, who was too focused on her oldest brother to catch her doing it, fascinated with anything that included her.
"Parents and grandpa called Vivien a little niffler for the longest time because she used to steal and collect her small treasure. It wasn't actually anything priceless, but it was precious in her twisted understanding. Vivi kept stealing buttons for a year. Sometimes she stole them from Poe, Dove, and Ravenโour friends. When we went shopping in a town, she would steal buttons from the seamstresses. She even started cutting off buttons from our grandies' clothes. She created a button crisis in our home and our grandpa had to convince her to return buttons to Dove so she could fix his and grandma's clothes."
Black smiled, his dimples sculpting at the warming memory of the siblings.
"They weren't priceless but they were beautiful. I wouldn't collect ugly buttons." Vivien claimed, her brothers exploding with laughter like Bombardo.
Regulus gifted her with a view of his precious smile.
She smiled sweetly atโno reason at all, no intentions. Who mentioned intentions at all?
Eden sighed dramatically, "I told you. Vivi wouldn't collect kisses from someone ugly. I wouldn't hug someone ugly too. Someone stupid? Yes. But someone ugly? Um-um." He shook his head.ย
Vivien saw the resemblance.
Rosaire choked on his tea, spitting it out with a splash against his plate after Teddy slapped him on the back. Everyone began cackling loudly and uncontrollably like maniacal toads.
"So if you thought one of us was a bad-looking person, you wouldn't give us that strong bear hug of yours?" Ambroise asked Eden, leaning to him teasingly.
"Obviously." Eden grimaced but not at food.
"Wait, but do you think one of us is stupid?" Bambi narrowed his eyes like arrows, suspicious.
Eden didn't answer and started eating his sandwich but he glanced from the corners of his eyes at Rosie.
Rosaire scoffed.
They were cackling until they heard a heavy and hard thump on the floor in a room next to them. Vivien and Regulus shared a concerned look, his brows knitting together.
Then they heard someone groan. Someone had to travel by the Floo network and did a poor work landing.
"Master Evan..." They heard Kreacher mutter after the elf must had heard the thump as well, so he went to find the cause of it. "Is Master Evan feeling well?"
"Evan?" Regulus stood up and walked away from the table. He went out of the room before Vivien could even react. She put Eden down and walked after Regulus. She exited the dining room and quickly entered the living room.
"Evan?" Black seemed surprised.ย
Rosier was dusting himself off, standing at the fireplace and Regulus watched him. Kreacher had already hid away.
"Regulus!" Evan grinned once he saw his best friend.
"Rosier?" Vivien let out, surprised like Regulus had.
And Evan looked startled to see her.
"Vivien?" He tilted his head, gazing between her and Regulus.
Vivien stopped hiding behind Regulusโ back like a little lamb needing protection. She wasnโt even aware she had done that or why she had done that.
"Evan Rosier?" They all heard Bambi, who stood at the archway of the living room with other brothers to see what was happening out of their curiosity.
"The whole herd of Beauchรชnes! And I thought moody Moody was messing around after he came to ask what I knew about you two!" Rosier grinned toothily, shaking his head to himself in disbelief.
Everyone watched him do it. Vivien frowned firmly.
"Mate, what-what are you doing here?" Regulus spoke out, stumbling on his words.
"Well, you have a guest, Reg!" Evan threw his hands theatrically.
"He already has guests here. A lot of them." Vivien murmured.
"Well, Regulus, then your guests have a guest."
"No, you're on Regulus. Don't bring us into this." Teddy assured with a pointed finger and raised eyebrows to emphasise.
"Did you know he was coming?" Vivien asked, tilting her head.
Regulus glanced at her over his shoulder.
"No, not really." He brushed his curls away from his face.
Evan stepped closer to them, "What are you talking about? I sent you a le-"
Suddenly Kreacher appeared between Regulus and Evan with a hand stretched out towards Black, "Letter addressed to Master Regulus."
The couple looked at Rosier, eyebrows quirking. He smiled stupidly.
Kreacher vanished into thin air again after Regulus accepted the letter from his hand.
"When did you send it?" Black asked, opening the envelope.
"Yesterday." Vivien kept staring at Rosier, her eyes sharpening. "Evening. Around one in the morning."
"So today?" She chuckled dryly.
"I was sending it for a week but somehow it flew over my head how fast time passes."
Vivien peeped over Regulus' shoulder at the letter in his hands. She didn't read the private part but she did look at the date and smiled. It wasn't a dateโit was a list of dates. Evan didn't lie. The first date he wrote was July 26, 1977. It was over a week ago. He kept crossing out old dates, creating a list of days that he planned on sending the letter but forgot.
"
๏ผช๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผช๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผช๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผก๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผก๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผก๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๏ผก๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝใ๏ผ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผใ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
"
The last date was August fifth, 1977, exactlyโlike Evan admitted that he had sent it.
Vivien felt warmth at her side and looked down to see Eden. He stretched out his arms so she would hold him, and she did. Little Eden studied Rosier meticulously, resting against his sisterโs hip, hugging her with arms around her neck.
"Who is that?" He asked.
Evan smiled at Vivien and her baby brother clinging to her. Before she could introduce him, he did it himself.
"Where are my manners? Excuse me for the lack of them, little gentleman. My name is Evan Rosier. Regulus' best friend." He stepped up to them all, offering his huge hand to Eden.
Vivien looked at Eden. He squinted his eyes skeptically before he beamed delightedly and accepted Rosier's polite gesture, shaking it lively, while Rosier didnโt resist his little strength.
"Eden. Vivi's favourite brother."
Regulus snorted at Vi's teenage brothers. He finished reading a letter and looked at the young witch herself,
"So Vivien,"
"Yes?" She rolled her eyes at Regulus.
"What do you think about nannying another boy with me?"
Vivien could feel everyone's eyes on her.
"He's our age."
"In theory, yes."
"Regulus, it's your friend-"
"Yes."
"-like best friend-"
"Yes."
"-and your home-"
"Yes."
"-and you ask me for permission?"
"Yes."
The couple was looking at each other. Vi bit her bottom lip. She glanced at Evan, who observed her and his best friend interact. She looked over her shoulder at her brothers, who only nodded their heads once. And she looked at her likeness, smiling softly.
"What do we think about Evan Rosier, little flea?" She asked Eden. He gazed at her with his big, child eyes.
"We think he is a little bit of an airhead."
"It makes senseโhe's a Gemini."
"Oh, it's like my moon!" Eden grinned and she grinned too, nodding her head.
"Yes, it is like your moon."
"Then we like Evan Rosier."
"We do." They faced Evan together. "We like Evan Rosier."
Evan grinned enthusiastically too.
Regulus smiled at Vi and her siblings welcoming his best friend so warmly.
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ย ย ย ย ย Every day of Vivien's stay at Grimmauld Place 12 was the same. The most important rule was to hide in her bedroom as much as neededโwhich was all the time. She wasn't sure if she was even allowed to go outside, look at the sun, and touch some grass. She felt it was a silent order that she would not try to do so.
It all was the case with Mrs., Mr. Black, and her mother around, but once adults left Vivien spent most of her time with boys, not thinking about touching grass anymore.
"Now, I understand why you asked what I thought about nannying another boy, Black." Vivien commented, sitting at the end of a table.
Meanwhile, her brothers and Regulus played poker, sitting everywhere around it.
Expect Eden. Eden was teaching Evan to draw. Rosier quickly became fond of Vivien's brothers. It was immediate. Beauchรชnes immediately accepted him as one, even if he was a bit sillier.
Bambi suggested to Rosie that he could bring Eden Regulus' book about creatures. Eden took the book, thankful. It was useful because he and Rosier were drawing creatures from pictures in it.
"You are drawing it wrong." Eden sighed, peeping at Evan's drawing. "It has a way longer body and definitely smaller eyes."
"It's stupid."
Rosier had an issue with proportions, and he was beginning to become easily annoyed like a child. Eden, misunderstanding him, rolled his eyes.
"It's not stupidโthis is ashwinder and it probably has a bigger brain than you do."
Everyone snorted at such an arrogant remark from the little boy. Evan placed his hands at his heart dramatically.
"Ouch! And I thought it was Beauchรชne women that were supposed to be bitchy."
"No, it's Beauchรชnes in general." Regulus murmured, glad to finally not be the only victim of that family's insults.
"Wrong. Blacks are bitchy. We are all hateful." Rosaire contradicted quietly, focused on his deck of cards.
"I thought we were being honest." Eden quirked an eyebrow.
"We are." Teddy reassured. "Brutally honest."
Regulus smirked sarcastically to himself. Right, of course.
"To be hateful we have to be subjective, which means our honesty isn't objective. It's only our opinion, so our honesty might be false and we speak wrongly because we assume we are right when we think our truth is truthful for everyone." Ambroise whispered under his nose, more focused on his cards than his philosophy.
Evan's eyes widened. He went back to drawing, admitting under his nose, "You lost me the moment you opened your mouth."
"Wish I could lie and tell that I'm shocked." Teddy stared at Evan judgingly from the corners of his eyes.
Evan mimicked him under his nose, making faces to himselfโlike a child.
Vivien listened to boys talking and wondered out loud, "Do you all think I'm mean to others?"
She grimaced to herself at the thought of others in question. She felt boys stare at her, and she slightly raised the book she was reading, hiding her face in it.
Bambi, Rosie, Evan, and Regulus were judging her quietly, Eden kept drawing his ashwinder, and Teddy used his chance to lurk on Black's deck of cards.
And he was the one to address the question.
"Do you really have to ask, missy?" He looked at her.
"I meant other people, not you." She clarified from behind her book.
Teddy laughed.
"And we are who exactly? A devil's seed?" Rosie frowned his whole face firmly.
"You are boys."
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ย ย ย ย ย After the whole day at the table, Eden began falling asleep, hugging Regulus, seated on his laps. Upon noticing it, Vivien decided to take the little boy to his bed.
"I can do this. It's no problem." Regulus assured kindly, more than willing to help Eden get to bed.
"It's no problem for me as well." She said, smiling softly as she picked up the little boy from him. She was only reading her bookโRegulus was playing a whole round of poker with her other brothers and Evan. She didn't want to disturb them.
What Vi didn't notice were the knowing glances that Ambroise, Teddy, Rosaire, and Evan shared at Regulus' eagerness to help herโin hopes to get in her good graces.
And either, she didn't hear the mocking that Black earned from them after she was gone. Eden quickly fell asleep after his big sister helped him change into his pyjamas and brush his teeth. She stroked his cheek until he didnโt snore. Soon Vivien returned to the dining room, feeling quite tired herself. As she saw Rosaire shuffling cards for a new round of poker, she rolled her eyes, suddenly somewhat irritated with it.
She has never met a boy who didn't have a poker phase. Her grandpa, her pa, her brothers and their friends, Marauders, Edgar and Frankโeven Regulus and Evan ended up having one right now!
"Do boys share one brain?" Vivien looked around a table, leaning with her arms on the backrest of her chair. Everyone turned their heads in her direction.
"No, we just share one mindset." Ambroise responded diplomatically.
Vivien nodded her head, thinking for a moment but the boys didn't return to their previous activity, waiting for her, because they knew she wasn't done,
"Then it is even worse because you purposefully choose to be stupid."
"To be honest," Teddy nodded his head. "Yes."
"Where is the sudden hatred coming from, foxy?" Evanโs blond eyebrows lifted in confusion.
Vivien glanced, shrugging her shoulders. She collected her book and left the room, Regulus' eyes after her until she disappeared. Teddy scolded him for his shameless admiration of his sister['s body] and Evan laughed at that.
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ย ย ย ย ย The Beauchรชne brothers knew that Vivien was about to have her bleeding days once she became more sulky. Their sister spent the next morning in her bed. She didn't show herself for breakfast which saddened Eden. His companion to eat was absent and it was not as fun to eat with Ambroise because he had bad taste and there was nothing to steal from his half of the plate!
Regulus and Evan immediately noticed the lack of Vivien at the table. They waited for her to come late, but she didn't and her brothers didn't acknowledge her absence. They didn't comment. When they were done and Kreacher started cleaning the table, Rosier couldn't take it anymoreโalready.
"Where is Vivien?"
Her brothers looked between each other quickly.
"In her bedroom." Teddy shrugged the question off, meeting Evanโs and Regulusโ eyes.
"Why?"
"Is she supposed to be somewhere else?"
"Here with us?" Evan raised his brows like it was obvious.
"Ooohhh, are you already missing her, Evan?" Rosaire tilted his head.
"Me, very." Eden complained, making all the older boys look at his grimaced little face. "She's feeling bad again." He grumbled to Evan and Regulus.
"What do you mean again?" Black asked him.
"I mean again." He said. "She's feeling bad for a few days every month."
And it hit Regulus like a bludger what the little boy was talking about. It didn't hit Evan the same.
"Is she sick?" Rosier laid his hand on his heart, worried.
Ambroise, Rosaire, and Teddy frowned at him. Regulus rolled his eyes. Was Evan always so stupid?
"Yes. She has this thing some people have. It's called monsteration."
"Menstruation, Eden. She has menstruation." Ambroise corrected, and bothโEden and Evanโlooked at him.
"It's what I said." Eden whined, stabbing Ambrosie's sandwich with a fork, bored and annoyed.
It took Evan a moment to process. Every one of the boys could hear the machinery in his head turning until it clicked and his big mouth opened, "Oh! She has her bleeding days."
"Bollocks." Regulus muttered, rubbing his face.
"Yes, you fucking imbecile. She is on her period." It was Rosaire, who commented in disbelief.
"Whatever she's on, I don't like it." Eden grumbled and Ambrosie brushed his hair.
"I don't think Vivi likes it any more than you do."
Rosaire beamed lightly, having an idea.
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ย ย ย ย ย Thatโs why the six of them found themselves in the dark kitchen in the basement. Rosaire sat on a countertop. The other teenage boys had taken seats around the table. Little Eden hugged himself to Rosie's dangling legs and looked up, his eyes sparkling hopefully.
"Do you remember how last summer we baked cakes with Dove whenever missy was not in the mood?" Rosie asked, smiling softly at his baby brother.
Immediately Eden nodded energetically.
"Do you think we can bake her something?"
"Since Kreacher doesn't like us anyway and Black will do anything for Vivi, we won't ask him for permission."
Ambroise, Teddy, and Evan laughed at his honesty.
"Thanks for the reminderโI almost forgot." Regulus smiled sarcastically, a bit bitter to be reminded about his feelings for Vivien like he wasnโt the one feeling them every single second.
Beauchรชnes always knew how to rub the salt in the wound perfectly for it to bite hellishly.
"No problem. Always at service." Teddy grinned in a shite-eating manner.
"No need to. Next time, keep it to yourself."
"I think we can bake something." Rosaire ignored Teddy's and Regulus' banter.
Eden let go and clapped his hands, hopping around happily-
Until he saw Bambi raise his hand. He paused, whining gibberish in frustration.
"I have a question."
"What?" Rosie rolled his eyes.
"Factually, it's not a question. More like concern. You said you two have baked it with Dove before."
"Yes." He nodded his head.
"Dove's not here." Ambrosie said with an obvious tone.
"What a brilliant observation, brother. How did you spot it? It was your eagle eyes, wasn't it?"
Teddy, Regulus, and Evan cracked.
"You don't have any recipes." Ambroise smirked but didn't bite back.
"Agreed. I hate to be the one to ruin your enthusiasm but Vivien won't eat anything that was prepared with my or Bambi's help. And I daresay Rosier and Black have never seen a pack of sugar with their own eyes before." Teddy crossed his arms on his chest.ย
The Beauchรชne brothers turned towards the two best friends, who were listening to them. Regulus sat spread out on his chair with his hands behind his head. Evan had rested his arms on the table and laid his head on them.
"I'm not sure if I have a kitchen at home." He mumbled out.
"Exactly." Teddy poked his finger at him.
"I think the only sweet thing you'll find in this damn kitchen is pepper, mate. You burn milk, Rosaire. How are you going to bake anything?"
"Watch me then." Rosie winked. He jumped to his feet and laid a supportive hand on poor Eden's shoulder.
He seemed distressed about all the adult-talking the older boys did. He looked up at Rosaire, who was smiling warmly at him.
"Don't worry. We are going to bake the best cake missy has ever eaten."
Rosie glanced at others. They were staring at him. He grinned but it was a malicious gesture.
"Good work, pricks. I did mean it to watch me literally. You knowโin case I do start a fire. Or don't watch me. Mrs. Black would feel at home if this shitehole would burn."
The boys laughed. Expect Regulus. He rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corners of his thin lips.
It was only the beginning. Rosaire didn't get a chance to move a single finger before there was another debate coming,
"So what are you two going to bake?" Ambrosie asked.
"A cake." He answered.
"Whoa, we wouldn't guess." Teddy said sarcastically.
"French Fancy?" Evan furrowed his eyebrows, ignoring the little grey cloud that Theodore was.
"Did you suggest it just because it has French in the name?" Teddy squinted his eyes at him.
"No. I suggested it because it has fancy in the nameโbut now that you mentione-"
"Just because it has French in its name doesn't mean it's French. It's British and Vivien hates it."
"Because it's British?" Regulus' brows arose.
"No, because it includes strawberries."
"She doesn't like them?"
"No," Eden murmured. "Vivi loves strawberries."
"Right. Makes perfect sense." Evan nodded his head stupidly.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Rosaire, I spent the whole spring trying to bake damn muffins and all this time you were enjoying the show, you little piece of shite?" Bambi pointed his stare at him smiling happily.
"I'm not a spoilsport." Rosaire shrugged, self-satisfied at his doings for months and proud of himself.
Ambroise scowled, the rest snickering slyly. Eden didn't listen to them. He sat on Evan's laps, leaning over the brownie, squinting his eyes at it.
"Does Vivi even like chocolate?" He wondered out loud and looked around at his older brothers.
Regulusโ brows knitted together, intrigued with all possibilities.
"Depends on form. No worries, Eden. Vivien likes brownies." Theodore smiled supportively.
"Are you saying this because she would love anything we would give her?" Eden was mistrustful of his older brothers.
"If you don't believe him, go and give Vivi the cake." Bambi encouraged him, tipping his head towards the door.
The little boy inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before he stood up from his seat. He was ready to stretch on the table for a plate but Evan reached it for him. Eden took it in his two hands and stared around at all the older boys, disoriented. He shared a look with Rosier.
"I don't have enough hands for her tea."
"Understood." Evan smiled like a child. He stood up and took a cup in his hand.
The two made their way to the exit of the room, the rest watching them. Then they stopped at the doorframe, shared a glance, and turned around.
"You little star, are not coming?" Evan smirked smugly, his tone amused.
Regulus wasn't even sure how his best friend's ear caught the name that Vi ironically called him sometimes.
"Why are you still sitting, Rebulus?" Eden raised his eyebrows.
Black looked at them two for a split second before he looked at the other boys. Rosaire and Theodore were smirking, staring young Mister Black up and down with their eyes meaningfully.
"Don't act so shy now. Go ahead, little star." Amborsie challenged him, but he was smiling gently.
Regulus slowly stood up and Ambrosie suddenly turned towards the direction of the doorframe, eyebrows frowning.
"Wait," He said, folding his arms on his chest. "How come you invited Regulus and Evan, but not us, Eden?"
"Their sight might actually make Vivi smile.
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ย ย ย ย ย It was around noon when Vivien heard a knock on her door. She spent the morning in bed, feeling shitty. Her belly, thighs, arse, back ached. She felt like someone kicked her in the crotch with a boot on. She was curled on her side in her pyjama shorts and her father's jumper that he had given her for comfort. She was resting and letting her lungs embrace the fresh breeze after she opened a window ajar.
She had two optionsโanswer her brothers' knocking or pretend to sleep.
"Come in." She said weakly.
She heard three various sets of steps but she didn't make an effort to turn around and look at the intruders. She saw Eden approach her bedside and tilt his head. She felt movement on her mattress and someone sat at her feet.
"Are you feeling badly?" Eden whispered, holding a plate tightly in his little hands.
Vivien nodded her head and he smiled sadly.
"I have something to make you feel better." He stretched out his short arms towards her.
Vivien scrambled into a sitting position, noticing that the other intruders were not her brothers like she suspected. Evan sat on her bed with a cup in his hands and Regulus stood with his hands buried in pockets of his trousers. She glanced at the plate that Eden was offering her and the piece of brownie on it. She beamed, heart-touched.
"You baked a cake for me, little flea?" She looked up at her little brother.
He flushed pink.
"I did." Eden said shyly.
Regulus cleared his throat, which made Vi and her little brother look at him. He was raising his eyebrows tellingly.
"I mean Evan held me up and Regulus searched for everything in the cabinetsโbut I did." Eden elaborated.
Evan laughed.
"I think you forgot about Rosaire." Regulus raised his eyebrows meaningfully, when Eden still wasnโt telling the truth.
"Oh, right. Rosaire knew the recipe and did most of the cake but I helped him and he's not here, so basically I baked it."
Vivien accepted the plate from Eden. She took the piece of brownie in her hand. It smelled delicious.
But feeling observed, she peeped out of the corner of her eyes at three boys that watched her. Creepy. She cringed, her nose crinkling.
"Can you please do something with yourselves and not look at me like this? It's stressful."
"Sorry." Regulus, Evan, and Eden accidentally said in union.
Eden climbed up on her bed and laid on her side. Evan moved further on her bed, sitting with legs crossed.
Vivien saw Regulus decide to stay out of her bed. Instead he leaned his back on a windowsill, looking outside. Something about his black curls and another one of his jumpers that he was wearing at that moment caused her to bite her bottom lip. She looked away from him before he could notice what she was doing.
And she was slapped with Evan squinting his eyes at her. She rolled her eyes.
"I told you to not look at me."
"But you can look at Regulus?" Rosier accused, disbelieving she dared.
The said boy looked at themโhis best friend and Vi sat on two ends of bed. Eden was not minding anything or anyone, playing with his small hands.
"Your lips are leaking because of the cake or my mate?" Evan quirked an eyebrow.
Vivien didn't know if he meant for it to sound so dirty but she couldn't stop herself from bursting out into a laugh.
Regulus tightened his lips into a line to muffle a laugh that wanted to escape him. Evan glanced between him and Vi.
"What am I missing?" He asked, confused.
"I think it's just something about being a girlfriend and boyfriend thing." Murmured Eden.
Evan furrowed his eyebrows, hearing that perfectly.
"You just asked me, if Regulus makes me wet, you pet." Vivien wiggled her eyebrows at him.
"We told you we're not like parents, Eden." In the meantime, Regulus tried to clarify and clear the air for EdenโEvan. He didn't want either of them to get the wrong idea engraved in his brain.
"Whatever." Eden murmured.
Evan seemed to process all the information at once, rubbing the nape of his neck.
Vi ignored him.
"Soooโhow close did Bambi and Teddy come to this piece of art?"
Evan and Regulus snorted together, sharing a look.
"Oh, I think they locked eyes with it from a distance of nine feet once."
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ย ย ย ย ย Evan spent the rest of his day in Vivien's bedroom. They talked foolery, drank hot chocolate, and ate brownies. Rosier sneaked between the kitchen and Vivien's bedroom repeatedly. In the meantime, Regulus promised to have an eye on Vivien's brothers.
It was evening when two teenagers smoked. Vivien sat curled on a windowsill. Evan was resting his elbows on it, leaning outside the open window. They were watching the sunset in silence. Vivien was the first to finish her cigarette, but soon Rosier finished his too. They sat, gazing at the sky until Rosier chuckled dryly to himself.
"I don't know Sirius too well, and he can say whatever he wants about this family, but the bastard got a better view, at least."
"What are you talking about?" Vivien peeped at him, her head tilting in curiosity.
"Have you ever tried to look out the window in Regulus' room?" Evan looked at her.
She shook her head.
He sighed.
"It's just a snicket and some rubbish bins. Fine, a bit of the sky too. But from here, you can actually experience life. It's not as lonely as it can be in thisโyou know-"
"Shitehole?" She asked.
He nodded subtly.
Vivien gazed around the room. She looked around the painted wallsโit was the only room in the residence that was painted and not wallpapered. The walls lacked paintings. It never occurred to her before that the room had to be renovated recently compared to the rest of the house but it so obviously was. The thought that it was Sirius' old bedroom never crossed her mind, even if it made sense.
"I didnโt-" She hesitated.
Evan smiled upside down, "You didn't know?"
"No." She answered quietly, shaking her head. "Regulus didn't mention and his parents-"
"Act like he's their only child."
"Yes."
They fell into silence. They looked at the park outside. They saw a muggle playground where a mom was swinging her son on some weird mechanism. He was rising forward and falling backward. Whenever he was going up, he was close to flying away into the sky.
Vivien's eyes focused on the cheerful little boy, moving with his every movement.
"Does Regulus speak of Sirius sometimes?"
"No." Evan answered with a heavy heart. "Does Sirius?"
"After what happened? He says his name here and there. But it isn't intentionalโusually, it's instinctive."
Evan nodded his head in understanding.
"Do they hate each other?" He wondered out loud. It was a burden that rested on his shoulders, crushing him, feeling badly for his best friend.
Vivien glanced at Evan.
"You don't have any siblings?"
"No." His head shook.
Vivien tightened her lips in a line, thinking before she spoke out again, "There is only one kind of bond in the world where loathe and love can walk side by side."
She lowered her face, turning a ring on her finger.
"Siblinghood."
Evan kept his eyes on her, though she avoided them. She didn't mind how attentive he observed her and he didn't mind how actively she looked away from him.
"Parent-child relationship?"
Vivien shook her head softly, disapproving.
"It's rare for a child to love their parents the same from the beginning to the endโbut it's even rarer for a parent to like their child at any point, you know? Parents see their children as extensions of themselves. Extension that will fulfil everything that they failed to do but that rarely ever happens because we are not extensions of our parents, Evan."
She met his eyes for a split second until her eyes wandered back to her ring.
"You are supposed to be your own person. Unfortunately, too many parents fail to understand this. In kids' eyes, parents are gods that they are scared to disappoint. Yet at some point you realise those gods are only people and usually they are the ones to disappoint you."
Vivien chuckled bitterly.
"With siblings, it's different. You always love them and you can still happen to despise them. Not stand them. I can only imagine it's like wishing your siblings all the best but hoping to never see them again. Or to never hear from them again. Parents believe that children are all the versions of them that they could not be but the truth is it's siblings that are all the different versions of each other that they could be but happened not to. You might not want them at your table but it doesnโt mean you want them to starve. You want them to eat, simply not at your table."
The silence that dragged wasnโt thick or stillingโit was thoughtful.
"But you don't despise your brothers?" Evan murmured after a moment, continuing the topic.
Vi nodded her head.
"No, I don't. You knowโsiblinghood is like a cloth. Your siblings are the same as you, but with passing time they change to be different from you. You can cut material in pieces, separate it, or sew it with another but you can't change its pattern. You can rip, you can stretch, you can twist, but the pattern stays the same. Time, distanceโdoesnโt change that. The material will always remember how it was madeโhow it was plaited, twined or knitted. Inside we are all the same personโoutside we are all different people."
He listened, steadily nodding. Still his brows stayed together.
"Why don't you and your brothers hate each other? Why do Regulus and Sirius do?"
Vivien's face softened in sympathy.
"The difference between us and them is that me and my brothers were not raised to grow apart. Regulus and Sirius were not raised to grow together."
Evan nodded his head only once and looked out of the window at the changing sky.
"Do you want to have your own family?"
"I want to create a family of my ownโyes."
"Can I be a part of it?"
"Always." She smiled warmly.ย
Rosier smiled and turned his head towards the view. She also gazed at the view of the sky and noticed that the mother and her son had disappeared from the muggle so-called playground.
After a few minutes, Evan's grin twisted into a sharp smirk.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Vivien hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees.
"You already did." She narrowed her eyes, sceptical.
Evan rolled his eyes, ignoring further that remark, "What is going on between you and Regulus, foxy?"
At that Vivien giggled tiredly.
"What do you mean, pet?"
"Oh, you definitely know what I mean." He pointed his finger at her.
"I don't." She shook her head weakly.
"Everyone heard that bloody rumour about you two."
Vivien remembered how Pandora swore that Evan didn't know the truth, although Regulus told her that it was two of them who created that stupid rumour by accident.
"And what do you think about it? Have I slept with Regulus?" She tilted her head.
"Of course not!" Exclaimed Evan, having no doubt about it. "That would be insane. I'm not mad enough to think that. No, I-I wouldn't dare dream about this even in my sleep." He waved his hand dismissively.
Too many people had that faith in me. Vi wanted to laugh out loud so badly, but she only smiled softly, her eyes fogged with tiredness.
"But something did happen, didn't it? I want to know what is going on between two of my friends, and I can tell that something is."
Even though Vivien felt good for herself because Evan had counted her as one of his friends, she somewhat felt bad for Regulus because even his best friend thought she would rather eat knives and shit them out than have sex with him. Which wasn't true. She would fuck Regulus and she had done it. Absolutely no regrets about it. Worth the public shaming!
"You and Regulus are best friends. Shouldn't you know?" She bit the inside of her cheek.
Evan nodded his head, soon shaking it.
"Unfortunately, no." He complained. "Regulus respects you too much to speak about you behind your back. Also, if you haven't noticed yetโhe's prudish."
Oh, believe meโI did notice.
"Cassie talks about patriarchy and feminism all the time. So when we found out about this whole mess with Mulciber and Avery, Dorcas said that's why she wouldn't date a manโbecause it's more important for us to impress other men than a woman, but if you gave Regulus an unspoken chance, he would elope with you, move to France, and never say a thing, Vivi. I still don't know why he had that damn underwear of yours, and I'm his best friend."
Evanโthink. Why would Regulus have my underwear among his possessions?
"Sirius mocked him for four years about him fancying you, and then one day he switched to bugging him about you two shagging. Regulus had told him that the ceiling had to collapse on his head, if he thought that you would come anywhere close to him."
Wait-Sirius did what one day?
"Though everyone knows that something happened, Regulus still denies it because he believes in the rule of gentleman never kiss and tell that much. He would never be able to dominate your temper and that's what we like about youโyour attitude."
Vivien chose to not question, even if her stomach flipped and flopped around.
"So you think me and him got physical? Like kissing?" Vivien wiggled her eyebrows meaningfully, challenging Evan.
"What? No! I meanโwellโsurely you two got physical when you punched Regulus, but like a kiss? Fine, maybe? Like something did happen at the Astronomy Tower but him having his first time there with you, little fox? That's insane. It's wild! I saw his neck but it's more believable that it was attempted murder than sex."
He started spiralling into madness, blurring words out.
"He asked you for a good-luck kiss, and you told him that at best he can kiss your ass because the only kiss you would give him is a deadly one and I don't think Regulus would have balls to see this as an opportunity to take your words literally. I love himโI do, but I'm realistic. I don't think Reg ever looked at a girl who wasn't you. Not even mentioning interacting with one. I know there was no shagging, but I can tell something happened between you two and you two are my friends. I careโeven if you try not to." He gesticulated with his hands, babbling more.
Vivien, for the first time, saw someone act like this in fervor. It brought comfort to herโthe fact someone else was able to drive themself insane like she did.
"Oi, calm down." She scooped on the windowsill towards Evan and took his hands into hers to steady them.
She laid her hand on his cheek and stroked it. Evan focused on her eyes. She noted how his pupils were already dialled with adrenaline.
"You are driving yourself mad right now." She smiled softly.
"Follow my actions." She inhaled a deep breath and exhaled itโwhich Rosier copied. "Good. Now we're repeating." And they did that a few more times.
Evan inhaled and exhaled, taking his time. He tilted his head, melting into Vivien's touch. They smiled at each other sincerely, and Vi scrunched her nose cutely.
"What about Dorcas and Pandora?"
"What about them?"
"They are girls."
"Yes. Without a doubt, they are."
"And Regulus interacts with them."
"Right. Yes, he does. But I don't think they know that he is a boy. I don't think they care enough to pay attention to the fact that he, me, and Barty are not girls and never were."
Vi snorted. She opened her mouth to comment but the door of her bedroom opened slowly, still so suddenly.
"What the two of you-" Regulus came inside without knocking, causing Vivien's and Evan's heads to snap towards his direction.
Vivien could tell he was dissatisfied with what he sawโher hands anywhere near Evan, and Evan anywhere near her. His face fell in a frownโvery, very annoyed.
"-are talking about?"
Black finished, glaring at his best friend and the girl of his dreams. It was Rosier, who pulled away. Vi stayed in her place and Regulus approached her, stopping only beside her.
"Your dad."
"Yes, your da-" Rosier lifted his eyebrows.
He and Vivien glanced at each other then at frowning Regulus.
"Your dad?" Evan repeated, cringing.
Regulus looked between Vi and Evan.
"Is that so?" He said, doing something that caused Vivien's eyes to rounden and widen. His hand sneaked under her jumper and laid on her bare back. He began to massage her lower back softly.
Something had shifted in them since those hours in Regulus' bedroom that they shared and spent together.
Vivien felt more trusting towards Regulus after he slightly let his guard down to open himself for her and let her in. She did not mind his finger drawing the lines of her bare body. She was simply surprised.
Evan saw Vivien's reaction to something that Regulus did and he saw how his hand dug somewhere under her jumper. He assumed Regulus caressed her skin to comfort her through her unwell-being. Still it wasnโt something he would platonically doโnot for someone he fancied for years. It could never be platonically pure.
Evan fucking knew that something was up!
Vivien was a poor actor and no matter how hard she tried to play it offโit would be easier for a deaf person to convince him that they could hearโthan for Vivien to claim that there was nothing up! The couple was too open with each other to fool anyone.
After Evan saw how envying Regulus was of him, he noticed how Vivien admired Regulus with her big eyes and how Regulus admired Vivien just the same with his heart-shaped eyes.
She licked her lips while her green irises travelled to his grey ones.
"It is." She assured after that thick moment of silence.
"Doesn't sound fun."
Vivien could feel her heart trying to jump out of her chest, when Regulus was looking so intensely into her eyes with his hand massaging her skin so gently. She felt tingling in her chest.
"It doesn't, does it?" She whispered unconsciously. Most of her voice got stuck in her throat and that's the loudest it could come out of her lips.
She licked her lips more provocativelyโboldly, bluntlyโslowly. Very slowly, and Regulusโ eyes followed.
Evan scratched his neck awkwardly. He was still there, fuckers!
"Oi?"
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ย ย ย ย ย After Regulus and Evan left Vivien alone, she showered and laid down in bed in fresh pyjamas. She could not sleep despite how tired she was.
Normally, she would guess it was her period hormones keeping her awake but this time it was thoughts running through her head, mind spinningโall because of the conversation she had with Evan.
Regulus had said he told Evan about that intimate night at the Astronomy Tower but Evan didn't know about what happened! And he implied what everyone else implied beforeโthat it was suspicious of Regulus and the stories were tangling senselessly!
Although Evan was a little naรฏve, he wasn't gullible about Regulus. He knew him the best. And again, Gryffindors somehow invaded that mess of the situation as Evan called it.
Vivien thought about Sirius. He just can't let go of fun, can he?
Her brain lit up. She sat up in her bed, surrounded by darkness and silence.
"That's the fucking thing!" She whisper-shouted to herself. "Sirius can't let go of anything!"
Vivien had to acknowledge the fact that she was as blind to Gryffindors as they were to her. James' and Sirius' act! Everyone's lack of reactions!
Back then she assumed it was because they already knew the rumour, not because they heard it first hand!
It wasn't a coincidenceโRemus just almost caught her and Regulus in that stupid corridor!
It occurred to Vivien that there was another person who dropped Gryffindors' arses before she had but exactly in time for that rumour to go around Hogwarts!
That's how Vivien ended up putting her anger into writing at three in the morning. She kept pressing her quill a little too much and she had ripped her parchment with it the first try. During the second try, she tightened her hand on her quill enough to break it and she had to use another one, but she finished that letter.
"
๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐๐ช๐ป๐ต๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ,
๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ญ๐พ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ, ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด.
๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ด๐ท๐ฎ๐?
๐๐ธ๐, ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ?
๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ฝ๐ฑ!
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐น๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐บ๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ผ, ๐๐ฑ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐ฝ?
๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ?
๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท
๐๐ข: ๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐น๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ต๐๐ช๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ต๐ช๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐๐ธ๐พ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ๐พ๐ฎ-๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ญ? ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ถ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ผ.
"
She read, her lips twisting, her tongue dripping with venom.
ย
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฑโโฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย In the morning, Vivien could not be more disappointed in her life to open her eyes to the sight of smiling Manon and Walburga. Her mom sat on the bedside and Mrs. Black stood beside her, arms neatly tucked over her chest.
"Get up. We need to prepare you, Vinny."
"We are going to a banquet tonight, sweetheart."
Chapter 13: engagement
Chapter Text
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ๐๐ฒ๐ค๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ 19๐ฑ๐ฅ, 1977โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
270๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐๐ฏ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐๐ฆ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐๐๐ค๐ฆ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ก๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค
ย
ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne had never dreamed about participating in a celebration of an authority. It would be a nightmare and she always believed her sleep was sacred time so she never dreamed about one of those. Still, fate kept taunting her in the summer of '77. After a ceremonial feast, the ball began. Some people danced in ballroom style, and others stayed away from the dancefloor, enjoying talking more.
Vivien thought balls to be passรฉ since eighteen hundreds.ย
She stood at a bar, leaning back against it, slowly sipping her wine, gazing around. Her eyes were slightly squinted distrustfully.
The young witch recognised some redheads as Weasleys. Other redheads, known as the Prewett twins, were stirring with them like in a pot, keeping companion to their sister, Molly Weasley. Vivien saw Dumbledore, Moody, and Slughorn cracking in laughter with glasses in their hands, and she saw Professor McGonagall with some Mister, shaking their heads but laughing too. She noticed Bartemius Crouch Sr., accompanied by Mrs. Crouch and their junior. He was proudly showing his son to Mrs. and Mr. Shacklebolt, ignoring how his youngster tried to escape. Somewhere in the crowd, Zahara was dancing with her soon-to-be fiancรฉ, Antoine Zabini. Alice and Frank danced too, making heart-shaped eyes at each other. The couple's parents stood somewhere, observing them and chatting with Euphemia and Fleamont Potter.
Vivien kept her distance from all of them.
There were some sane people in the room, yet they were easily outnumbered with the insane ones. Anywhere Vivien turned her head, some pure-blood maniacs watched herโBlacks, Malfoys, Lestranges, Rosiers, Greengrasses, Parkinsons, and so on.
In Vivien's humblest opinion, they could be counted as one big unhappy family because they kept marrying each other back and forth. They were reproduced as fast as puffskeinsโnearly as fast as Weasleys.
It had to be scared of twenty-eight evil auras that emanated from them, looming over the ballroom. Vivien knew that they were up to no good.
It was definitely a brave move to organise such an event in the middle of the war. Harold Minchum had balls to put all of these people in one room.
What can possibly go wrong? Vivien had never before regretted asking a question so quickly. As to answer it, Manon walked on a stage with a glass in her hand, where the symphony orchestra played their music.
Vivien looked over her shoulder at a barman. He glanced between her and her mother on stage. His lips tightened, and he put a whole bottle of wine beside her on a wooden countertopโit was the wine she kept ordering. Fairy-made wine that was prepared from primroses. The barman bowed his head and Vivien smiled. She took it in her hand and straightened her figurine to look presentable.
Manon stood to the side of the stage until a song didn't end. As it had, she walked towards the band mistress. She smiled at the woman and put her hand on her shoulder, whispering into her ear slowly. Some people peeped at Manon plotting. Finally, the band mistress nodded her head, agreeing to whatever Manon pleaded for her to do with a smile. She signalled for the orchestra to leave the stage for a break. In a matter of a minute, Manon stood alone in the middle of the stage, smiling prominently. Vivien felt Mrs. and Mr. Black looking at her. She smiled at them sweetly. In exchange they sent her warm smiles back and they all focused on her mother who had a speech to share with other guests.
"As a proud citizen of Great Britain, I'm thankful to be invited to celebrate the 27th decade of the British Ministry of Magic providing safety to our world."
Vivien chuckled bitterly and took a sip of her bottle of sweet wine that didnโt sugar her mood.
"As a descendant of Liadain, I am sure she would be proud to see how far the magical community came and that it is not stopping. We all are glad to unite today as oneness and celebrate this occasion despite our differences."
Vivien raised her brows and wondered how much her mother had to drink to say it so easily, jaw slack, no teeth gritted.
"It's good to be surrounded by so many friendly faces." Are these 'friendly faces' here with us?
"Today I came here as a mother. Many of you know that I am the mother of a beautiful young lady and six young gentlemen. My sons are not here, but my charming daughter is."
Some people glanced at Vivien, concerned like they cared. Vivien lowered the bottle, feeling self-conscious upon so many looks pointing her [body] out. After some drinking, she forgot about how some [male] guests glanced at her [soft and youthful curves], but when everyone did it so shamelessly, she wanted to leave her body behind.
Vivien was wearing a long evening gown. It was off-shoulder, and her dรฉcolletรฉ was exposed. Her small breasts were figure-hugging thanks to a corset that Walburga made her wear. Impressively, most of her breastsโthat were not a lotโwere outside of the dress instead of inside of it. The dress was pretty. It was pastel pink. To match it Vivien wore her jewellery made of rose gold and garnet. Manon and Mrs. Black let her do her hair in her favourite style, but they decorated it with a flower crown made of pink forget-me-nots. Her makeup was light.
Manon wasn't joking saying they had to prepare her. Vivien knew that it was not an accident that her mother made her wear so much pink. It was a tradition in her familyโa colour of love in purest formโa symbol of bonding with lovers, soulmates tying into one.
Manon winked at Vivien, "Yes, it's my Vivianne that I meant. Isn't she lovely? She's my oldest baby, but also my only daughterโwhich is why it is so hard to let go of her. But I cannot hide it anymore-"
Vivien's eyes twitched, turning gassy like a shattered glass.
"I'm happy to announce that I'm expecting another son. This one won't be born from me, but welcomed into our family from my Vinny's love."
Vivien lowered her head, blinking a few times, her heart aching, her hand holding the bottle tightly after it wanted to slip out of it.
Manon looked around the crowd and found the boy she was looking for. She smiled sentimentally, "Regulus, I could not ask for a better son-in-law."
When Vivien raised her chin highly, a sweet smile was moulded on her face. In the meantime, guests began whispering. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw adults sending her some glances of sympathy. She focused on her mother.
"I want to make a toast for my dearest Vivianne, her fiancรฉ, and their happily ever after."
Manon raised her glass high and other guests followedโVivien too, putting her bottle of wine before drinking it like juice, which caught the attention of many.
"I want to ask not to bother my children too much, especially Vinny. She's very nervous, and the last few months were very stressful for her. For all of us."
Vivien knew that her mother was too careless to worry. She simply didn't want to give her a chance to shite-talk.
Although, in the blink of an eye, the ballroom seemed like it had never been disturbed, Vivien could sense the mood had changed. People were gawking at her as if she was an actress in a play. Some were absorbed and excited, some were interested in what she was about to doโwhich was absolutely nothing. Vivien would do nothing.
Manon made her way towards Vivien, walking gracefully, swinging her hips, and smiling presentably at other guests.
Her voice was too sugary once she approached Vivien.
"Ma belle." She took her hand in hers, squeezing it strongly. "Don't worry, you look the loveliest in here. You look perfect for the occasion."
She tilted her head, waiting for Vivienโs reaction.
"I had the best stylist." She complemented, with her aching jaw from how tight it was.
Manon beamed lightly, her pearly teeth shining.
"Come here and hug your mama."
Vivien embraced her and she felt Manon's arms lock around her firmly. Vivien rested her chin on her mother's shoulder and she put the bottle up to her lips, wanting to drink the rest of the wine from the bottom until she felt her mother squeeze her whole tightly. It became a little hard to breathe.
"Put the damn bottle down, Vivianne. People are watching." She whispered sweetly.
Vivien lowered the bottle.
"Of course, they fucking are. They just found out about the romance of the year between two young aristocrats, which by the way made me realise that this romance was a secret guarded so strictly that I didn't even realise I was a part of it. I'm the damn bride-in-the-making."
"And I hope it stays that way."
"No problem, mama. There was not a day in my life where I didn't think to myself how much I didn't wish to be married into the noble house of Lack. I always hoped I would be sold to Regulus Arcturus fucking Black's parents by my loopy mother."
Vivien said with a dreaming tone. She felt Manon loosen and leave a kiss on her cheek, pulling away slightly.
"Glad to hear it. Believe me, you prefer the easy way. You really don't want to do it the other way, my little butterfly. Philippe, my parents, your father. We crossed off some names on the list, and it keeps shrinking. Don't make me choose who is next to go. It's a tough choice. Little Eden? Teddy? Rosaire or Ambroise?"
Vivien felt her heart thud like a hammer, trying to smack her ribcage open. Manon could probably feel it against hers. Vivien closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling a shaky breath.
"Shhh. Don't cry, baby. It won't be so bad. You say I sold you but you fucked Regulus for free."
Vivien yanked away from her mother, who appeared joyful. She was torturing her daughter with her words and she enjoyed it.
"If what I heard is true, you could do worse. And after watching Regulus the whole summer, I have no worries about whether it is true or not."
Vivien nodded her head in understanding. She smiled but it was eyes where the soul lives, and hers drowned in tears.
"Go to your prince charming now, my dearest." Manon gestured with her head in the direction, and Vivien glanced there. She saw two teenage boys who didn't even try to hideโthey were watching the spectacle of the mother-daughter moment.
Vivien glanced at Manon one last time before she silently put the bottle away and walked from her as far as she could. She walked with her chin high and her hips swinging gracefully, like Manon always did.
As she was passing Mr. Crouch Sr. talking to his colleagues and showing his son off, she effortlessly caught his junior by an elbow to drag him away, only smiling apologetic at surprised adults.
Barty, impatient to be saved, kept up with her steps.
"Bonjour!" He welcomed her and Vivien tangled her arm around his torso affectionately. He rested his arm on her shoulders.
"Bonjour." She responded, and they looked at each other. No, Vivien looked up at Barty, who needed to look down on her.
Barty was significantly taller than she wasโhe was significantly taller than anyone else.
"Congratulations on your engagement." He mused, amused.
"Very funny."
"Obviously. It's my wit that got me into Ravenclaw. Where are we going?"
"The question is what we are doing, not where we are going."
Vivien looked ahead of herself, stopping. She and Barty stood in front of two other teenage boys. She let go of Crouch Jr., and he came closer to his friends, embracing them.
Evan furrowed his eyebrows at Vivien over Barty's shoulder when they had hugged.
"So what are you two doing?"
"Fucking."
They separated from each other and faced her, eyebrows raising. She looked between them, her eyes meeting Evan's.
"And you are invited, pet."
Ignored, Black rolled his eyes.
"Always wished for a foursome with Rosier, Black, and Miss France." Barty, clapping his hands together in approval.
"I guess I didn't get dressed for nothing but I'm sure I didn't say that the brightest star is being invited."
Vivien glanced at Black, who was holding a glass with a drink in it, taking a gulp of it from time to time. He was observing everyone, acting nonchalantly about anything. But in that moment, his grey eyes locked hers, and his prominent black brows arose.
Vivien proceeded to openlyโobscenelyโcorrect her dรฉcolletรฉ, her hair resting against her back. It caught all boys' attention, but she gazed deeply into the eyes of only one of them.
Evan frowned at her. Regulus' gaze wandered up and down on her figure, and Barty glanced between him and Vivien repeatedly, sensing the thick but silent tension between them. He smirked knowingly, pointing his finger at Black.
"Are you sure that dress was not for my mate over here?" He approached him, embracing him with one arm around his shoulders.
"No, it was for his better-looking friends." Vivien said dryly.
"I must admit you look good yourselfโeven breath-taking, I daresay." Rosier winked, one of the corners of his lips twitching. "It seems you take your own breath away with that corset on."
Vivien looked down at her dress, drawing her hands along her waist sculpted with a corset, her wasp waist so thin, her guts certainly are crushed forever now.
"I'm not sure if Walburga wanted to convince everyone that I am a holy virgin, who is happily marrying her prudish son or a whore that she bought for the brat but I can't wait to see what she will do for the wedding night." She murmured, looking back at three teenage boys.
"Your curiosity is endless but you can't have all your questions answered." Regulus murmured and put his glass in his mouth but before he drank from it, he murmured more under his nose, smirking self-satisfied, "But of all the people, I thought you would have something in your mind because I already have it in mine."
Vivien scoffed. Just like that, he gulped down his drink and his Adam's apple bobbed.
"Don't get overexcited, Regulus. It wouldn't be my first time."
"It wouldn't be mine either." He mumbled against the glass, smooth with his words.
Vivien smiled sarcastically, her nose wrinkling. She pushed herself between Evan and Regulus softly, looping her arm loosely around Regulus' occupied one, pulling it down with the glass he held to his mouth.
"You are right, my curiosity is endlessโit's simply the fact you have nothing to be curious about for me." Vivien stared at Black ostentatiously with a sweet smile that dripped with passive rudeness, her eyes frozen on him.
"Is that so?" He asked nonchalantly, his eyes rippling to hers.
"Until you can't prove to me otherwiseโit is." She nodded.
"Do you want me to prove you otherwise?" He provoked.
She tilted her head to the side with a mean giggle of amusement, "You think you are capable of doing so?"
Evan's eyes widened in astonishment, his eyes jumping back and forth.
"Merlin's ballsack. What is this?" He could not believe how secure Vi was making Regulusโenough for him to act so confidentlyโso bluntly, so boldly, and so, so shamelessly. It was rare to see him acting like an actual teenager and not like an old soul trapped in a young body.
"I think it's foxy." Barty tipped his head at Vivien, smirking knowingly.
"Foxy... Yeah, I know that one."
Vivien and Regulus stood there stilled, staring at each other. Even though Regulus' eyes were gentle on Vi, she wanted to grip her his neck. Not because of his coolness but because of her hot head, her blood boiling alive whenever they were around each other that day. After she realised he lied to her about humiliating her, she was even angrier because he helped her so-called friends fool her, whether he intended to do so or not. She was angry at him because he let her get angry at him to begin with, when he wasn't the right person to get angry at, which only made her angry at him.
It was Black, just not that one! she repeated to herself, but it didn't calm her. After she blocked her gates, the mix of alcohol, stress, and fury tried to escape Vivien through the secret passages. And at that moment, it was working in her favour because she needed that attention. She needed Regulus to see her, and other people seeing him see her as a girlโas his girl. As his fiancรฉe that she was.
"Foxy, what are you doing to my mate, Regulus?" Asked Evan.
She looked at him but before she could answer, Crouch Jr. was ready to do so for her, "Do you actually want to know?"
"I-" Evan contemplated, wondering if the truth was worth his inner peace. "Am leaving actually." He tried to walk away, but once he took a single step away from Vivien's side, she tangled her other arm around his, bringing him back to her side.
"No, pet. I don't think you are. I like you too much." She smiled sweetly at him.
"Oh." He put his hand up to his heart and smiled. "Are you becoming soft on me, foxy?"
"As long as you become hard for me." Vivien winked, her answer slipping from her tongue without a split second, making Evan and Barty howl.
Regulus rolled his eyes. Vi was drunk, and words just rolled out of herโshe had even less control over her words than usual.
"Do you ever think before you speak?"
"Never." Vivien said, glancing at Regulus. "Who do you take me for? Someone who gives a fuck?"
Barty pointed at her with his finger. "I think we will be good friends, fox."
She grinned. Making friends is so effortless!, and Vivien never figured it outโuntil Pandora Malfoy told her that other students at school thought she was actually cool! Vivien never expected to be uncoolโshe simply never imagined that other kids would consider her presence noticeable. She never thought she was super cool or uncool. She always thought she was just there. She knew that some adults called her obnoxious and warned their children about her but she didn't know that there were so many potential friends, who appreciated real her for the true person she was.
Regulus didn't appreciate Vivien's [dirty] jokes directed towards his friends [who were not him], but Barty and Evan were enjoying themโeven more since they made Regulus jealousโdespite how none of them had an intention to go after the girl that their mate was in love with.
"Good. I could use the company of someone who is not Regulus."
Evan looked at Vivien, who was gazing around the ballroom sleepilyโtiredly. Regulus also looked at her, squinting his eyes, trying to understand why she was mad at him that day.
"I'm sorry. Does my company bother you?"
She faced him, her eyes sparkless.
"No, it bores me. There's a difference." She muttered, yawning like to stress her words. She turned her gaze towards Evan and Bartyโwho were so prepared to raise the temperature, ready for a sacrifice and scorch it would carry, like the devils they were.
"So what? I am your pet now." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Well, my fiancรฉ is quite prudish and borish. Also I'm sure he looks like he has survived the dementor's kiss because he has thanks to the fact he had no soul to suck out of his body to begin with."
"Maybe it was you, who sucked out my soul."
Regulus mentioned casually, earning some looks from his two friends and other guests, pretending to not overhear the teenagers' conversation at all.
"I read somewhere that Beauchรชne women bite but no one lived to confirm that information." Barty added some heat, wanting to hear what Regulus had to say about that.
"I guess since I had no soul to begin with, I did survive and can finally confirm that this is true." Black commented with a smug smirk.
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not necrophilic." Vivien remarked, tilting her head to the side.
"I love it here." Barty let out under a deep breath in and out like he smelled of fresh drama in the air.
"Great. I could use an escort from someone who is not my fiancรฉ."
"It sounds sexual." Evan half-smiled.
Vivien licked her lips slowly.
"Oh, it can be." She said with such a tempting tone that made Regulus' heart skip a beat at suggestionโbut she was talking like this not to him but to his best friend after she shite-talked him.
Vivien could tell it was enough for Black. He gently brought to him, his hand on her lower back. She let go of Evan, knowing the temperature of the tension was so hot that it could burn him accidentally.
Regulus and Vivien faced each other, him towering over her but she wasn't intimidated. It excited her whenever he was being brave with her.
"Your fiancรฉ might look dead but he's still here. And as a he, I daresay you would bite my mates' cocks off within minutes." Regulus looked deeply into her eyes.
She was looking up at him through her lashes. Her eyes appeared even bigger than usual, rounding, trying to prove the innocence of her actions. But Vivien's green irises glimmered in that moment, not fooling Regulus about how pure and good of a girl she was. It made his heart skip whenever she was gazing at him like that, his hormones enliving.
"You think so because?" Vivien asked.
Regulus raised his brows.
"Evan is too shy to be escorted by someone with your temperament, and Barty would misbehave, so you would bite it off because he would probably like it."
"Indeed, I would." Barty admitted.
It didn't matter as the couple paid no attention to anyone who wasn't them. If they did, they would notice how other guests gawked at themโor how Crouch Jr. and Rosier took two synchronised steps away from them and their tension.
"Now you can stop overworking yourself with those words. It's for nothing."
"You think so?" Vivien felt challenged.
"I do." He nodded his head, his eyes ebbing along the known lines of her face like it was the first time and they were still undiscovered.
"Then listen carefully, you little brat." She snorted into his face sarcastically. "All you do is dance exactly how I play you, ma poupรฉe." She poked him in the chest with her finger. "You can stop acting up now."
Regulus looked down at her hand.
"We both know you don't want me to stop." He caught her finger and brought her hand to his lips. He looked deeply into her eyes, placing a kiss on her soft skin. "It excites you too much." He whispered, his toxic breath, cursing her skin to only belong to him.
"So does you!" Vivien contradicted.
He let her hand fall and it landed on his chest. They let it stay there.
"Yes, it does me." He leaned closer to Vivien and she stayed in her place, his tone tempting. "Is your mother proud of the naughty mouth that you have, Vi?"
"You know that speaking is not the dirtiest thing I can do with them."
Passing past, Narcissa Malfoy choked on her drink, hearing her teenage cousin's and his fiancรฉe's quite too loud private conversation. Her husbandโs, Lucius Malfoy's, eyes rolled, walking with her hooked around his biceps.
Still, the young couple didn't give a single shite about their inappropriate behaviour.
"Oh, believe me, I know." Regulus whispered slowly.
Good boy! Vivien glanced at his lips instead of crushing hers on them like she craved to do. She saw how genuinely he enjoyed that, his eyes flickering once she locked her with them again.
"Are your parents proud of yours?"
"I don't care." Or a bad one?
"Naughty, naughty boy. Rebelling against mommy and daddy at your big age?"
"What can I say? I have my mouth for youโnot them."
Vivien wondered if Regulus knew how much his words were charming her. Did he know that in that moment she wanted to tangle her hands around his neck and yank him into her, letting his hands trace every path of her body that they wanted to explore on their journey?
"Kissing up to my ass, Black?" She tilted her head.
He leaned even closer to her, and his forehead rested against hers. She didnโt back away and they gazed into each otherโs eyes.
"Do you think Barty and Evan could do it properly?" He was so confident he had to know how badly she craved himโwith all the flesh, muscles, and bones.
Suddenly, Evan interrupted their moment as he took a step forward,
"Are you about to kiss this whatever is not going on between you two out? Because if not, you are going to disappoint a lot of people."
Vivien and Regulus looked at him, who was cringing.
Regulus separated from Vivien, noticing in the corners of his eyes how right Evan was.
And Vivien was so wrong in the morningโthis was the moment when she could not be more disappointed in her life!
"We are not here to entertain people, Evan." Commented Black.
We can be!, drunk Vivien didn't care if people would watch her getting a little too thrilled in those starved kisses she knew Regulus could give her, if the price was his lips on her skin and his hands on her body. She didn't say anything out loud. And they kind of were there to entertain people.
Rosier rolled his eyes at Black and grumbled.
"Don't Evan me now, mate."
Regulus' brows knitted together judgmentally at his sudden outburst of irritation.
"You flirt with Vi in front of me and you are the offended one?"
Evan pointed a finger at the said girl, who was glancing between two boys.
"It was Vi, who flirted with me and Barty!"
Crouch Jr., hearing his name being mentioned, took a step forward towards Black and Rosier, "Don't involve me in this. I liked the show."
Vivien smirked at him, more and more slurry, still seductive.
"So you like watching, huh?" Maybe other wizards also like to watch, Regulus? Hm? HM?!
Rosier pointed his finger again at her.
"See, you jealous bastard? It's your fiancรฉe, who has zero loyalty and no sense of shame."
Don't regret it. Wait-jealous? Regulus was jealous? Why?
"To be fair, foxy is a witch." Barty shrugged his shoulders.
Vivien nodded her head, "He's right. I've been accused of witchcraft beforeโgot even sent to a special institution because of this."
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ย ย ย So what do you like to drink, Vivien?
She likes wine.
I actually had rum in mind.
Will the barman pour it for you, foxy?
No. He will give me a whole bottle.
How come?
You showed him your tits, didn't you?
No, I did not. I have a phenomenal personality to offer, Barty.
Regulus, Evanโhow do you enjoy a family reunion?
Aren't Beauchรชnes like the oldest wizarding clan?
What! No! Thank you merciful Mother Nature for this. I think that title goes to Blacks. The noble and most ancient house of Lack is the oldest documented one. My family is only the oldest magical one.
So what witch has to do to create a magical clan that is not a wizarding one?
Isn't that obvious? Like go to the bed with a lot of different beings that are questionable to most people.
Right, like werewolves and vampires?
Werewolves, vampires, elves, ghosts, veelas, sirens, banshees and so on.
That's why Beauchรชnes are not in the sacred twenty eight?
Yes and no. We never cared about blood status. I am not pure-blood, you know that, right? It's important to me that you know that?
Wait, really?
Yes. My dad is a muggle-born. He was raised in a muggle orphanage. His biological mom died during his birth, and his biological father abandoned him. He was not prepared to be a single parent. Both were muggles.
So what is your weirdest family story?
One of my ancestors supposedly had procreated with a dementor. I meanโfirstlyโshe turned him into a man, but still he was a pretty shallow and hollow person. Kind of like Regulus.
What was her name?
Petra.
When you say Petra, you mean the-
Bitch hanging in our common room? Exactly that one.
She means a portrait, pet.
Thanks, I wouldn't guess, Barty.
Didn't you try to recreate dementor's kiss in fourth year?
No.
So you could ask her since she's an expert the whole fourth year about it, but-
Yes.
-decided to keep fighting her instead for no reason?
Maybe.
Why did you want to recreate dementor's kiss, Vi?
You are the exact person that should be asking this question, Reg.
Someone wants a shot?
Did you want to kill me with a kiss? Because for what's worth you could simply kiss my fourteen-years-old self on the cheek and it would have that exact effect.
How come it doesn't have it now anymore?
I became more bratty. I guess I'm more demanding now.
Like me fucking you into a death bed?
You said it, not me.
You said it before.
Did I?
Indeed.
On Sunday morning, Vivien once again opened her eyes to see smiling Manon. It had been two days since the celebration of the British Ministry of Magic formation. Drinking that Vivien had done got to her in the end, and all she remembered from that night she shared with three boys were fragments. Voices kept replaying in her mind and she didn't mind itโshe actually wished to remember more.
Was it bad that even though Vivien found herself in a shitty position, she still cherished something so silly like having actual friends? It's not good to feel isolated...
It was lateโaround ten in the morningโand Vivien didn't show for breakfast exactly like the last day. She preferred to recall jokes she shared with the three boys than anticipate in a conversation with Manon, Mrs. Black, and Mr. Black during feasts.
Manon had opened the curtains, letting the sun into the room. Vivien flicked her eyes open lazily, feeling movements on a mattress. Her mother sat beside her on the bed, beaming brighter than the sun. She held the Daily Prophet in her hand, and on her lap rested a little emerald box.
"Sat up, Vinny."
She did as so and started stretching her arms and back, cracking her spine, which made sounds.
"Oh, stop! I hate when you do this." Manon whined, hitting Vivien with a newspaper on her head weakly.
Vivien smiled, delighted with herself.
"Don't do it with a boy in bed, or he will run away."
"Don't worry, ma. If I ever let any boy in my bed, the only bones that would crack are his." Vivien winked.
Her mother cracked a chuckle.
"Maybe it will be Regulus who invites you to his bed, or with your temperament you will invite yourself to his bed."
"You are disgusting, mama." Vivien pointed her finger at the woman, and Manon pretended to bite it off. "No biting!" She warned, and her mother stopped her childlike act.
They looked at each other and Manon pushed the little box towards her daughter, "This is for you."
Vivien raised her brows and glanced between the box and her mother. Manon tilted her head to encourage her daughter to accept it. Vivien took it into her hands and examined it. Its covering was made of velvet, and the box was circle-shaped.
She inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before she opened it hesitantly. She was aware of what was in it, but she wasn't aware if she was ready to see it. Inside the box was a ring. It was a thin silver band with an emerald in a circle shape. The stone was very dark and Vivien knew it was richโof course it was. An engagement ring from Blacks that didn't scream expensive! would be a stain on the family's honour. It wasn't that ugly, but the girl still grimaced at the colour palette.
Another day, another way to show that the only thing that money can't buy is class.
"It's ugly." She commented, not liking silver.
"Oh, it is." Manon nodded her head, agreeing.
Vivien rolled her eyes at her.
"What? You wanted me to lie? Fine. Honestly, it's not that bad. I just don't think Blacks care that grey is not your colour."
Vivien kept staring at Manon.
"For what it's worth, Walburga claims it's antique. Or prehistoric, maybe. I'm not sure." She remarked mockingly towards Black.
Two of them glanced at each other until they both laughed out loud. They laughed until it died out in silence. For some reason, they sat like this, quietness lingering, eyes avoiding each other, pretending their moment never happened. Vivien never heard silence like that one. It was uncomfortable and safe at the same time. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, glaring at the ring like she was trying to melt it with the intensity of her look. She peeped out of the corner of her eyes at her mother, who was playing with her own wedding ring until a sigh left her lips.ย
Manon stood up and looked at Vivien last time.
"Wear it." She said seriously and left. But before she had, she laid the Daily Prophet on a bedside table.
Vivien placed the box away and took the gazette in her hands. She began to page through the newspaper until she found an article about the celebration of another successful decade of the British Ministry of Magic's work.
There were descriptions of all the most important events that took place during the banquet.
There was even a section dedicated to an announcement of "The most mysterious couple in years!" engagement as Rita Skeeter called Vivien and Regulus together.
"
Miss Beauchรชne enjoys playing with fire, while young Mister Black likes getting burned. This young pair cannot keep their distance for long, some witnesses stated. And as one of them, I can admit that the tension between the two thickened the air in the ballroom so much that it got suffocating.
Miss Beauchรชne, without effort or shame, shared steamy moments with her fiancรฉ, and if that's how she behaves in public, I can only imagine what happens in private. There is no doubt about who is ruling in this romance but it does not seem like Mister Black minds his role. It seems that his fiancรฉe seduced him once and for all. Yet, her attitude allures him every time, as if it was the first one. What an interesting combination they are.
"
Is she calling Regulus my male wife? Vivien snorted to herself.
Above the paragraph dedicated to the newest couple of the season, there was a picture of them. During the ball, four drunk teenagers were approached by a photographer. The woman asked Regulus and Vivien for a photo. In the end she had like fifty of them. The photographer had fun with them.
The picture that won over its place in an article was showing Vivien and Regulus bantering quietly. Regulus laid his forehead against Vivien's as she was wiggling her eyebrows. His lips were movingโhe whispered something to her with his stupid smirk plastered to his mouth.
Vivien was grinning, showing off her shiny teeth. Regulus brushed his nose against hers playfully. It was from their sides, so only half of their faces were shown. In the background, it was visible how they were holding hands, Vivien playing with themโmoving Regulus' motionless arms around. Regulus didn't mind the things she was doing with him.
Vivien almost thought to herself that it was a cute picture but it was not. It was fake and forced. The two only did what was expected of them the whole evening and Vi felt bitter about it.
Drunkenly, she forgot about it and embraced her friendship with Regulus. Although Pandora, Evan, and even Barty declared their friendship to Vivien, Regulus never had!
And unfortunately they needed each other to survive the shiteshow they were supposed to act out. Maybe Black was not a Death Eater, but he was invited to Death Eaters' meetings and he had to know from the beginning about their planned marriage and never said a word!
He's not a friend, stupid cunt! Vivien scolded herself.
Regulus kept using her and she was a fool, getting caught into his trap every time!
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ย ย ย ย ย With her anxiety rooted to the core, Vivien did not come downstairs for meals another two days in a row. Not even for lunch in the kitchen. Adults respected the young witch's wish to be left alone and her brothers understood that she probably felt frustrated and terrified because they did.
Vivien was laying in her bed, tossing and turning.
Everything is wrong!
Without being covered by a blanket, she was cold. With being covered by it, she felt too much warmth. With the opened window, she heard noises coming from outside. With the closed window, the air was thick, and it made her feel as if the whole room was dusty.
The duvet and bedding kept misplacing and the pillowcase became damp from her wet hair. Oh, and that damn hair kept creeping back on her neck every time she moved them as far as possible from her because they kept itching her back.
Vivien was tossing and turning around on her bed, her pyjamas going wrong on her body.
She was wearing lingerie. It was a chemise, ending mid-thigh. It was the first time Vivien owned a nightdress like that one. It was a gift her mother brought her from a trip to France for the young woman her daughter was becoming. Vivien loved it. It was shimmering and lilac. The silky material was ethereal to touch but in that moment it was hellish. It weirded her out how slippery it was on her bare body.
Everything is wrong! Vivien knew the issue was not her clothes, her hair or her surroundings. It was her anxiety reminding her about its presence by overstimulating her already exhausted brain. She knew what was an issue!, who was an issue!
Vivien made monstrous sounds that almost sounded like a growling of a beast. She sat up, letting gibberish sounds of anger escape from her mouth. She dwelled with herself until she stood up and began stamping with her feet to the exit of her bedroom and then to another bedroom door on the floor. She stopped herself in front of the door and put her hand up which paused, fearful about knocking on-
The door opened anyway, petrifying her. In the doorframe stood Regulus.
"Vivien?"
She saw him narrowing his eyes because of a dim light that came out of his room as she stood in complete darkness of the hallway.
"Oui." She said stupidly.
Even though she thought this whole conversation through with every possible answer she could hear, and every question she could ask, and every facial expression she could make, it didn't feel like she was prepared enough to have it.
"I was about to check on you." Regulus broke the silence.
"What?"
"You made disturbing noises and walked like you tried to poke holes in the floor with your feet."
"I did not!" Vivien thumped her foot in protest.
Regulus looked down and chuckled.
"And what was that?" He tilted his head, looking up at her.
"I want to talk." She demanded laconically, crossing her arms over her chest in pride, not letting herself to be provoked.
"Great. So do I." Regulus claimed gently, not acting as tough as Vivien tried to.
They looked at each other, fighting one another.
Regulus moved to the side and let Vi into his bedroom. She walked in sheepishly. It was her second time there and she was alerted she didnโt know she was welcomed there or not. She glanced around the room before coming closer to the bookshelves.
Regulus backed to his bed, sitting on it. Vivien kept glancing at him not-so-secretly. He was wearing a jumper and pyjama trousers. She glanced down at her own pyjamas, feeling even smaller as a person. She felt like a little lamb. She turned around to the books.
I wanted to look at a collection of his lectures anywayโฆ
The first title Vivien faced was "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" by Newt Scamander. It was an old edition. She felt the cold eyes that observed her, shiver going down her spines, but she ignored it all and took the book in her hands. She opened it on the title page. It was an edition from 1918โwhich was the very first edition. Vivien smiled and she brushed her fingers on the first page. There was a short dedication.
"
๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ฐ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ฌ! ๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฒ ๐๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐๐๐ฒ!
"
She felt Regulus standing behind her and looking over her shoulder at the book she held.
"It was the very first book I have ever possessed."
"Your parents gave it to you?" Vivien glanced at him, their eyes meeting shylyโhesitantly.
"No," He murmured, his eyes stroking the line of her shoulder like a brush against a canvas. "Sirius did. He wrote a letter to Newt Scamander begging him to sign up a birthday card for me, instead he sent this."
"Disappointing, isn't it?" Vivien joked in a dry humour.
Regulus chuckled nonetheless.
"Yes. I have dreamt about collecting birthday cards since I was a newborn actually. But if you don't have what you like, you like what you have, I guess."
"Beggars can't be choosers?" She snorted. "Very humble of you, Black."
"It is." He sighed dramatically, taking the book from her hands and putting it away in its place.
Vivien felt how he was abusing her personal space with his. Still it felt nice, his front skimming against her back for a second but he didnโt still. He was careful with his movements like he didn't want to scare Vivien away. He looked at her and she saw his eyes gently going down her body.
"Is this your pyjamas?" Regulus backed away to his bed to keep a safe distance, walking backwards.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe."
He sat down. "I like it."
Vivien crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't get too excited. You will not see me in it again."
Regulus thought to himself that it would not be too heartbreaking to see Vivien without that nightdress on again, but kept it to himself.
"You wanted to talk." He addressed an erumpent in the room.
"So did you."
"Yes but you took the initiative."
"Did I?"
"You came here in the middle of the night in your material-lacking nightgown." Regulus pointed out.
Vivien thought about what he said.
"I did!" She crinkled her face, admitting it more to herself than him.
"Ladies first."
Vivien nodded, but took a moment to think and Regulus didnโt hurry her. She rubbed her face and brushed her hair behind her ears, looking around before she focused on him observing her at all times.
"Did you-" She swallowed nervously, her tone quiet. "Did you know what your parents and my mama planned?"
"I did not know but I had the same assumptions as you." She raised her brow and he chose to elaborate. "It took me a while to process it, but by then I knew you already knew because you are too wise not to."
I did, I just did not want to accept it.
"Would you confess to me now if they had told you before?" She asked him quietly, desiring honesty, not trusting him.
Regulus softened, his tone silent, "I swear they did not tell me. No one tells me anything, Vi. You were right when you said that I am not told as much as I think I am."
"How am I supposed to know if you are not lying to me right now?" She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes turning teary.
"Do you think I am able to lie to you?" Regulus tilted his head to the side delicately.
She nodded her head. She knew he was! He had lied to her before! He had lied about being the one to turn her into a joke, when he had not!
Regulus slowly stood up.
"Vi, I do not know what I can do or say to assure you that I am not lying but just tell me and I will prove it to you. If you ask me to drink Veritaserum now, I will. I swear on my life, I am not lying."
He promised. It was too late. Vivien was already drowning in an ocean of fears. A single, lonely tear rolled stained her cheek.
"Was it all an act?"
"What are you talking about, Vi?" He kept his tone the most tender to not abash her.ย
"Did you act nice towards me because you were told to?" Vivien felt herself hurt insideโher chest ached. Her head spinned at all the running thoughts.
"When?"
"During banquet-"
"Vi-"
"-and summer-"
"-no-"
"-and the last school year-"
"-I did not."
"-and this whole time?" She hugged herself for some comfort, hiding her face.
"Vi-"
"Did you-did you have sex with me only to see if I was worth the effort, Regulus?" She whispered, afraid of asking it out loud. "So you would actually gain something from all that chasing?"
Regulus felt sick hearing such a speculation! Instantly, he took a step forward.
"I was nice to you because I like you and I wanted you to like me back. So no, there was no other motive than me being in love with you. If you think it was a choice for me to fall in love with youโit was not. It's been like this since I was twelve and if it hasn't been like this and someone told me to fall in love with you, I would think those people are stupid if they think I stand a chance. Because I don't, Vi."
Vivien listened, sniffling silently, feeling pathetic, pitious, lost, but above it all so scared of everythingโof losing her brothers, of her mother, of the Death Eaters, of Voldemort, of Regulusโ family, of Regulus and the boy he was, of this arranged engagement that could turn into marriage in the blink of her eyes, and of that marriageโof what would everyone await for from her and how they would force her into Regulusโ arms in his bed and how he would take her until she didnโt ache because he would assure a heir to his family.
The same Regulus she saw gesticulating his hand for the first time in her life. He was doing it peacefully to express his words, not violently like it was a method to stop himself from hurting herโlike another boy had done before.
"So please don't cry because I cannot hate myself more than I already do. The only thing I manage to do for the girl I care about is to make her feel disgusted with herself or cause her distress when all I try to do is to prove I can be a good person. I can be better, Vi. Being in love with you was the only thing that made me feel fine with myself because I am capable of love and that realisation was one of the very few good things that happened to me."
Vivien her lip, her heart aching. She saw a tear swimming down Regulus' cheek and she felt bad for even thinking that this boy could be brutal with her.
And she did not want to consider that Regulus Black could be cruel enough to manipulate her and pretend to be vulnerable with her. She knew he could be rude but crude like that?
"So don't you dare to stand here and suggest I have ever faked anything. I adored you, even when you hated me. You always called out my flaws, which no one ever did before. And you did because you cared enough about my words. No one else cared enough about what I was saying before. Getting yelled at by you was life-changing to a twelve-year-old myself. I admit being scolded and humbled by you arouses me and everyone sees it, even Rita Skeeter which is a humiliating experience in itself."
Vivien looked into Regulus' grey irises. He did not shout once, his tone didnโt raise or harden. He was not madโonly broken.
Vi felt safe in that moment, knowing Regulus' heart was as delicate as hers. He intended no harm towards her.
"You can think whatever you want of me, my parents, and my house, but don't you dare to stand here and question the sincerity of my feelings for you, Vi. You made me feel many things, but never hatred and not once was my intention to actually hurt you."
Black confessed. And Vivien felt little because how he opened to her, making her feel so close to him, caused her to crave to close that distance between themโthat safe space. Her safe space was with Regulus in it. The monologue from the bottom of his heart made her thirst. Vivien was thirsty and Regulus was the ocean that she was desperate to sink her whole body in. She swallowed, nodding in understanding.
But Regulus had to become self-conscious with saying all these things because he nervously scratched the back of his neck.
"Prove to me then." Vivien demanded strictly, fighting her tears.
"What?" Regulus let his hand fall to his side, his thick brows knitting together.
"Prove to me the sincerity of your feelings." She demanded once more.
"Vi-"
"I want you to make me feel how much you desire me, when I stand here wearing only this material-lacking nightgown! Show me how much I frustrate you and how much you crave me."
"I don't think you want-"
"Everyone says you are in love with me. You say you are in love with me!, and I can hear that but I cannot feel it! I can hear words, not feel them. I can see some things, which I cannot identify, but I cannot feel them. I want to feel the things you try to show me and keep repeating to me. I don't want to listen about love or-or look for it! I want to feel it!, so prove to me that what you feel is real, Regulus!"
Chapter 14: best friend
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien had never felt being gazed at so intensely before. Still she had decided that this is what she wanted. She would risk it for the tiniest chance that Regulus could give her that feeling of being cared-for. Her heart thudded in her chest. She was gazing back at him, and their gentle eye-fight caused a thrill to build in her belly. She took a step closer but it was Regulus who completely closed the safe distance between them two. He caught her face in his hands and crushed his lips against hers.
Out of desperation to experience anything real after last weeks, their lips moved faster than their hearts did.
Vivien opened her lips inviting Regulus' tongue inside her mouth. They began a battle over dominance, Vi not wasting time. She sneaked her hands under Regulus' jumper, and held onto his thin waist. She walked him to his bed. They didn't break apart with one another until his calves hit the edge of the bed. He glanced at her, who was the one to instruct him there. She smiled with her reddened lips and pushed him harder. He landed on the mattress, where he scooped and rested his back against the pillows.
Vivien took a seat on Regulus, straddling him. He propped on his elbows in the pillows, and herย lips stroked against his. Her hands embraced his neck and her fingers tangled into his curls. His hands travelled down her body from her back to her arse and her thighs, where they stayed to squeeze her. Their lips flowed perfectly in sync, like they were meant to be. Vivien didn't feel hot anymoreโshe felt heat.
Their kisses were not innocent to begin with but they only got worse, which was better in her opinion.
Vivien pressed herself against Regulus, her hips moving in repetitive motion of back and forth.
"Vi," Regulus breathed out between kisses.
"Hmmm?"
Regulus parted and felt Vi flaring through her nose.
"I think we shouldn't-" His breath hitched, once he twitched against her between her legs. "-do this."
"What do you mean? Do what?" Vivien did not stop.
"I mean sex."
"Who said anything about sex, Regulus?" She asked innocently, her eyes and brows softened.
He swallowed.
"Your hips do right now." He licked his lips.ย
Vivien kept looking deeply into his grey eyes, shamelessly moving against him through his trousers.
"Vi, I don't think this is good for you." He claimed with the heaviest heart ever.
"Then why does it feel so good?" She tilted her head.
"The last time-"
Vivien scoffed, frustrated. She did not want to think about the last time in the bathroom!
"Last time I had a reason to be upset about letting you into my personal space." She whispered sharply. "Everything has changed since then!"
"What is everything that changed? Because nothing did." Regulus clenched his hands on her thighs in annoyance, her irritation making him irritated. "We're still prisoners in my house, and now we are about to be married."
"You did, Regulus." Vivien stabbed him at the chest with a finger. "Finally you are the closest to being honest with me, and-and now I only feel at peace when you are in my personal space." She confessed, flustered, her belly stirring with hormones and nerves.
Regulus' chest tightened. He gulped and let his hands loosen on her.
"If you do not want to have sex with me, that's fine. But you do, and so do I." She whispered, playing with curls on the back of his neck. "If you want me to plead, I can."
She leaned towards him and her lips brushed against his.
"Please, Regulus. I want to feel cared-for and safe, and I'm not asking you because I know you desire me. I'm begging you because I desire you."
She bit her bottom lip, distancing herself from Regulus to let him decide. But he had already decided, capturing her in an animalistic kiss. Vivien's hips had stopped butย Regulus' hands grasped them and drove them how he liked until they were moving on their own at the pleasurable pace.
Vi let her fingers wander down his torso to the bottom of his jumper and under it.
His lips went down from her lips to her jaw and her neck. He started licking and sucking on her skin, which caused spasms to jolt down her body. He nipped at her skin and it made her scratch him with her nails, gasping in surprise.
Issue with the slippery material of Vivien's chemise continued, its straps slipping down her arms, exposing more of her body. Regulus took an opportunity for his mouth to move on her mostly uncovered breasts. His teeth kept leaving soft bite marks on her skin as a sign that they were on it, and she kept digging her nails into him as a sign that she was on him.
"I cannot cooperate with this thing on you anymore." Vivien breathed out, tension burning, Regulus' clothes only heightening the temperature of it.
Vivien helped him take that jumper off of him. She threw it angrily across the room and it landed on his desk.
"Save that strength for me." Regulus chuckled.
She grinned, stroking his ribs with her fingertips, studying his thin torso. Suddenly her hand flattened and she pinned him to the mattress, towering over him.
"Don't worry about my stamina, I've been saving a lot of my fervour lately."
"Should I be worried?" Regulus smirked, his hands travelling under her nightgown after lingering on doing it for too long.
"Only if you are scared of blood."
"I'm not." His hands wandered along the lines of Vi's bare thighs and hips and he seemed surprised to feel only skin.
She grinned wider, seeing his astonishment.
"No knickers?"
"No what?" She squinted her eyes playfully.
"Right. Panties, as you prefer to call them. No panties? Did your bleeding days end, Vi?"
She tilted her head, a little stupified too.
"You thought I was still on it?" He shrugged. "Regulus, would you have sex with me, even if I was on my period?"
"If that's what you would want, Vi. I told you I'm not scared of blood."
Vivien didn't respond with words, though she did with her lips, leaning down and kissing Regulus. It was her turn to play on his skin.
"Good boy." She murmured, leaving a trail of kisses along his jaw and neck, like a praise.
"I hope so." Regulus mumbled mindlessly, too focused on his pleasure. He let himself sink in the softness of pillows.
Vivien sucked on his skin, satisfied. He squeezed her body, his fingers piercing her flesh whenever she nipped at him. It made her crave more from him.
Vivien pinched Regulus on his collarbone with her teeth harder than usual, stretching his skin softly.
"Fuck." He grabbed her tightly.
It was tiny but a droplet of blood escaped and Vi licked it off. She started going down on him with her mouth. They moved from his chest to his belly and even lower. She stopped at his trousers' waistband and glanced even lower. She placed her hand onto Regulus' bulge, teasing him through his pyjama bottoms. She was playing with him like he was a doll in her hands.
"So hard. All that for what, Regulus? For mere me? An ordinary, teenage whore?" She tightened her hand, gently rubbing him up and down.
"Fuck this." Regulus' fingers wrapped around Vivien's wrist, and he yanked her back on top of him.
"No," She sat on him happily, self-satisfied that Black was losing his patience with their foreplay. "Fuck me."
"Say less." He grabbed the hem of Vi's nightgown, tugging it off of her. She let him, leaving her completely bare.
Regulus threw the thing across the room on his desk to join his jumper.
Vivien was smiling proudly at herself, still her brows arose.
"What? It was showing more than hiding anyway." Regulus shrugged.
"That's not fair. I'm naked now." Vivien fakely complained, her hands on his chest.
She was, in fact, fully naked, Regulus gazing at her. He glanced at everything that he hadn't seen before and everything that he had, rediscovering, exploring better than before in the chaos of their highness.
"It was you that said I would never see you in that nightgown again."
Vivien saw Regulus' eyes admiring her breasts like it was art, joking lightheartedly. It made her feel secure despite their appearance.
"That's not exactly what I meant." She murmured.
"But it was exactly what I thought. Vi, do I need to remind you what you did on the Astronomy Tower?"
"No, I do remem-"
"I had to beg you to show me your tits! I was mopping the floor, but your dress couldn't because let me quote, It is dear to you, and me not so much. Which thanks by th-"
"And how's that my fault? It's like revenge now?"
"No, it's justice. And also I can take my trousers off, if that's what you really ask for."
"Then why are you still wearing them?" Vivien slid to his side. "Take them off."
Regulus did as said.
Vivien felt the flutter of butterflies' wings in her belly at the view of him whole, his length springing. Again he instructed her on top of him. Vivien didn't sit on Regulus this time. Instead she hovered, delicately holding him in her hand and soaking him with her wetness. Regulus supported her by holding her hips up like he was afraid she could accidentally hurt herself. Maybe he's right.
"Already wet for mere me?" Regulus mocked.
Vivien looked away from lower bodies, grumbling. " Already wet for mere me? Shut up."
"Make-"
There was a slap. Sound of skin on skin. Regulus entered Vivien, stretching her painfully all out at once. They moaned together. Black forgot about his and Vi's banter, his hands on her arse.
At first, Vivien only rolled her lips to help her body with aching. But after that, everything happened so hurriedly. Vivien began slowly moving up and down, adapting to Regulus' length. She moved her hips in motion, speeding up with every movement. She leaned over him to support herself on the headboard of his bed.
Her head tilted to the back, when one of Regulus' hands found a perfect place to rest under her breasts, one of her nipples was already between his lips. In that position and in that angle Black had every opportunity to take care of Vivienโs breastsโthey begged for that with how they were in his face. Regulus kissed, licked, and sucked her tits, leaving wet kisses on her. Vivien began moaning with the low temperature embracing her bare back and her arse bouncing on Regulus.
Vivienโs face was quivering in pleasure, Regulus playing with her titties so affectionately. And his length was driving her into madness. She was overstimulated when she came to his bedroom, and then all of the things that she was experiencing made her go absolutely mad from arousal. But it felt so ecstatic that she knew it was right. Regulus' tip hit her perfectly, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her mouth slacking in o. She tightened her hand harder on the headboard of his bed.
"Shite."
"You read my mind." Regulus mumbled against her skin.
And seconds later, she felt him release inside her. It was like he calculated it. She giggled at how dumb that timing was.
"What?" Regulus breathed out into her chest, tickling her nipple.
Vi looked down at him, his face blushy but so angelic and sinless.
"You just cummed, didnโt you?" He shook his head. "I guess you precummed then."
"Oh," He smiled blurry behind all the heavenly mist, resting with his big foggy eyes observing herโoh, those big round eyes and sweet dimples.
"I hate you." Vivien finally ripped apart her eyes from Regulus after he attempted to hypnotise herโso tempting, even if she was already on him.
"Excuse me?" Black raised his eyebrows.
"I hope you change your mind because we're not done yet." Vi bit her bottom lip, glancing at him.
He didnโt ease his brows.
"It's just-do you have to look so angelic when I fuck you, Regulus? Like, I know youโwith your cock inside of meโare not a holy virgin, fine?" She asked, riding him.
His face softened, and he smiled showing his dimples molded by a Greek goddess herself. She groaned, but not from satisfaction.
"Regulus, stop!"
"I'm not doing anything, Vi!" He laughed.
"And that's still too much." She muttered, losing her mind because of his body and face.
"It seems like it's your issue finding me attractive. Not mine. Me? I like it."
Vi growled gibberish, and her hips weren't the only thing that rolled. She ignored Regulus and pleasured herself on him time after time.
Regulus smirked slyly anyway.
"First, no bra under your dressโsecond, no panties under your nightgown. I start to think you do it on purpose." His breath on her titties caused shivers to her body, making her feel like a prey when he was a master at hunting her down.
"It's shite like-like this that makes me think you tricked me into having sex with you by-y lying that you were a virgin." Vi kept bouncing on Regulus lively, his dirty words tingling her belly with thrills.
"Do I fuck like I was not a virgin?"
"You sure-ly have a cock that-that would be a waste if you were, Regulus. And a naughty mouth to-to match it." She was cracking on her words from pleasure.
"Fuck." He groaned in pleasure against her, her moanful praises boosting his ego.
Vivien grabbed Regulus' chin, making her look at him.
"Keep working like this, doll, and we might actually come."
They stared at each other, fighting over who would break eye contact and go inโbut it was a miserable game, their lips smashing against each other at the same time. Vi could feel Regulus' hands on her arse, helping her to keep the steady speed, when she was falling apart, wanting to collapse, and get fucked.
She felt so fulfilled. She threw her head back, whimpering, and she felt her legs become weak.
"Shite," She was taking deep thrusts on Regulus, digging her nails into his shoulders and drawing them brutally on his skin. She was on cloudโshe was close to her high. She kept herself together, and she felt his slim fingers drill in her ass.
"Fuck, I would die for a single thing you do to me, Vi."
"I would die for the things I do to myself too, doll. I'm hitting it so goodly."
Regulus snorted at Vivien's arrogance. She gripped on his shoulders again. She kissed him sloppily, the thickness of desire in the air surrounding them unbearable for her to bear. She felt a knot in her harden so tightly. Her back arched forcefully. And in the end the knot snapped, sending electricity through every cell in her body.
"Shite,shite,shite," She mumbled against Regulus' lips, her jaw loosening.
Black examined Vi with his grey irises. He felt her tighten on him, her body sucking him deeply inside, cumming on all of his length. Her eyes were wide but absent. Regulus' arms hugged Vivien for support, already expecting what she was about to doโfrom his personal experience. Vi felt her body ease. She collapsed into Regulus without fighting her body. She embraced him, lying her cheek on the pillow to face him as he did the same, his eyes flickering.
"We're resting?" He asked.
She nodded her head.
"We are." She whispered. "I need a break."
Vivien felt their chests float against each other. She was hot and sweaty. Somehow Regulus was notโhe was warm at best and the only sweat on his body was hers. I fucking knew it! He is dead!
He lay against the pillows with her taking her break on him. She felt how he caressed her bare back after his body slipped out of hers. She was resting on him in safety, her body spasming oversimulated with pleasure going, causing her muscles to twitch. Her heart slowed down, and her breath became steady.
"Vi, if you are tired, we stop." Vivien heard Regulus break the comfortable quietness that was lingering after her orgasm.
"I don't want to stop. Do you?" She whispered, her breath embracing his face, her eyes looking into his. Not for a second they broke apart during their break, enjoying the view of each other.
"Yes, if you feel bad." He murmured back, and their breaths kept blending together.
Vivien shifted closer to him. "I don't feel bad. I daresay I feel better than good."
She poked him in the nose with hers before catching him in a tame, delicate kiss.
Regulus smiled, showing his dimples. "So great?"
"Yes." Vi sat up weakly on his belly. "I feel great, and I was actually just thinking..." She hesitated.
"Yes?" He gazed at her, intrigued.
"Do you want to try something new? Like a different sex position?"
He tilted his head, his eyebrows quirking. "For example?"
"Like-" Vivien was not sure if sex positions had names. She surely did not know them and was swayed neither did Regulus.
Regulus watched Vi get lost in her head, wondering about something.
"Like-" She tried to say something once more only to fall silent, speechless.
He thought she got embarrassed but she got up from him, leaving him cold. She moved on her knees on the mattressโฆ And she showed him what she had to offer! She landed on her elbows, arching her back and sticking out her arse in a position that so lawless even Satan wouldnโt excuse.
"Like this one."
Regulus felt shy, figuring that Vi was not embarrassedโshe got confused with describing the position. And how she presented herself in that moment made him even more hungry for her.
My tits must look hilarious right now, but how could Vivien be ashamed of her body when Regulus' eyes treated it so kindly?
"Yes-I mean-maybe-do you-do you want me to take you like this?" Black couldn't form his words, nervous.ย
Vivien nodded her head, smiling. During break Regulus was turning back to his colour but now red crept on his pale face.
He cleared his throat, "Sorry, you were very vivid with your answer. But I like this."
"You do?" She grinned widely.
"Very." Regulus nodded weakly.
"Then come here and take me like this, doll."
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ย ย ย ย ย In one moment Vivien was on her knees, holding onto the headboard to make sure Regulus wouldn't push her into it as he was thrusting into her with his hands holding her hips. And in another moment, her body flattened and stayed on the mattress with her cheek pressed into a pillow. She was sticking her bump in the air as much as she couldโwhich was not a lot from all fatigueโwith the rest of her will she had left.
Vivien, in fact, didn't have all that much stamina despite saving all the favour latelyโshe always had poor physical condition. Still she encouraged Regulus to keep pleasuring them both. In this position, he was hitting her so strongly that she felt her legs shake. She was becoming weak. She arched, moaning against the pillow, her body weightless and motionless. As Regulus was thrusting, realising himself, he stimulated Vi's euphoric spot perfectly. And a second knot of thrills snapped. She was a moaning mess, Regulus unlinking their bodies clumsily.
"Fuck." He breathed out.
Vivien felt him lowering himself into her back. She felt how he brushed strands of her hair behind her ear, uncovering her pinkish face. He kissed her from her temple to her cheek, stealing her breath.
And just like that, Regulus sloppily slipped to the side, splashing on his back, facing the canopy of his bed.
Vivien's body twitched and she stayed on her belly. She was silently contemplating Regulus. She saw his chest going up and down and his Adam's apple bob. She was out of breath herself but for that pleasure she could suffocate. Her whole body was wet, and she knew she wasted water on her evening bath. Though she was sore and tired, she stretched her hand out towards Regulus and drew her fingertip on the bridge of his nose.
"Pretty." She murmured.
Regulus turned his head to the side, glancing at her. She laid her hand on his cheek, caressing it with her thumb.
"Could you repeat?" He asked, smiling softly in surprise.
Vivien nodded her head weakly.
"I called you pretty, Regulus."
"You are the prettiest, Vi." He scooped closer and kissed her slowly.
She kissed him back. They rested in silence, contemplating each other like two pieces of art.
Vivien was kicking her feet in the air, and it caught Regulus' eyes.
"I think you cheated."
"How so?"
"You still have your socks on,"
Vivien stopped her feet for a second to peep at them. She was wearing lavender socks to match her chemiseโthe one and only thing that she was not wearing anymore, even though the socks were probably taking away the sexiness.
"And that makes you the most dressed person in the room."
"I was always competitive." Vi's nose crinkled cutely.
"Believe me, when I say I know." Regulus chuckled, but his brows knitted together in confusion. "Do you always wear socks to sleep?"
"I always wear socks." She shrugged.
They lasted in the lingering but comfortable solitude of night.
But it hit Vivien like a bludger how heavy her bladder was. She knew she was supposed to always use the toilet after sex anyway. She pushed herself up and scrambled out of Regulus' bed like an egg on a pan with how shaky she still was with her legs.
"Are you going to the bathroom?"
She approached the desk and grabbed a dark jumper from it.
"Peeroom." She corrected, putting on Regulusโ jumper. She rested against the furniture and looked at him bare sitting in his disarranged bed. "I'm sorry about your sheets."
"It's fine. I'm happy to serve you effectively." Regulus glanced around his bed before gazing back at Vi with a sweet smile.
Fussiness bathed her whole face, her eyebrows frowned. The only thing that she could do to appear even more bratty was stomp her feet like she had before.
"Aren't you a little bit too confident?" She crossed her arms over her chest, defensive and suspicious.
"Vi, I was born to become a husband one day. Yes, I have reasons to be confident." Regulus had to stop himself from snorting.
He told her too confidently for her preference. And Vivien was not less sceptical about him, leaving his bedroom to go to the bathroom. She was squinting her eyes at him to the very moment of the door clicking closed.
In the bathroom after a few minutes spent on the toilet, Vivien decided to take a cold shower. She undressed herself from Regulus' jumper and her socks. She washed in cold water. Out of the shower, she put the sweater back on and directed her leapy steps to Regulus' bedroom. When she entered it, she saw him making his bed, dressed in his pyjama bottoms and another jumper. He straightened as she walked in,
"You came back." He said, quite surprisedโa little relieved.
"And you got dressed." Vivien said less gladly than he did.
Black looked down at his body, "You were gone, so I did."
"I said I had to go to peeroom."
"It was like fifteen minutes ago." Regulus murmured, not trying to guilt her about it because she actually returned like he had hoped she would.
"I sat down on the stupid toilet and when I wanted to get up your stupid cum dripped out of stupid me so I sat there for almost ten stupid minutes replaying stupid 'Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love' in my stupid head, and your stupid jumper was itching me so I took a stupid shower." She gesticulated, emphasising her words, as she told him the story of her bathroom adventure tiredly.
Regulus tightened his lips in a thin line to stop a smile that tried to crept on his lips at how silly she was. He came closer to Vivien and rested his hands on the sides of her neck.
"You also took off your stupid socks."
She nodded her head.
"Now I feel stupid, because these stupid socks were warming me the whole stupid time and it caused like half of my stupid problems in the last few stupid hours." She grumbled childishly.
Regulus stroked her jawline, reaching for her mouth with his.
"I am-"
He left a small kiss on her lips.
"-sorry that-"
He repeated.
"-I am-"
Again.
"-wearing-"
And again.
"-my stupid-"
Another little kiss.
"-clothes."
And the last one.
Vivien smiled at Regulus. His sweet dimples were melting her heart. She had to look away when she felt her cheeks warm, her nose scrunching out of embarrassment.
"I am sorry that you are wearing your stupid clothes too. And sorry for not inviting you."
"Where to?"
Regulus observed how Vi was avoiding his face. And he heard the cracking of her knuckles. He knew that she abused her fingers out of stress. It looked like she didn't even realise what she was doing. He didn't know what was stressing her at that moment.
"To stupid shower. I already wasted stupid water for the stupid evening bath, and together we would save some of it." Vivien bit inside her cheek.
Regulus' face softened. Vi sometimes pretended to be pure-ish, but sometimes she was pure.
"I think the world won't end because you took one more shower."
She glanced at him and agreed wishfully, "Maybe not."
She looked over Regulus' shoulder at his freshly made bed. Without thinking, she hooked her finger on the waistband of his trousers and dragged him towards it.
Regulus stopped at the bedside and Vi climbed on the mattress. She sat down on her heels and patted the bedding.
"Ladies first."
Regulus squinted his eyes at Vivien but did as she wished. He laid down on his back with one hand tucked under his head. Vivien furrowed her eyebrows and tightened her mouth, thinking of all the possibilities of adapting to his position.
The first thing she did was jerk out a blanket from beneath him. She covered him with it and hid herself under it too. Vi laid down, using Regulus' shoulder as a pillow. She rested on her side and threw her leg across his body. She hugged him with her arm across his chest like he was her human-sized teddy bear.
Mister Black looked at Miss Beauchรชne snuggling to him. Vivien felt a hand sneaking under his jumper she was wearing. Black's slim fingers began drawing mindlessly on her bare skin.
They cuddled in darkness after a dim light of candles on nightstands blacked out.
But Vivien could tell that the only thing Regulus was deeply into was the endless sea of his thoughts. There was something on her mind as well. It was the cause of that whole spiral of anxiety she had been sliding down for days.
"Regulus?" She whispered.
"Vi?"
"Do you want to be my friend?" She chewed on her cheek.
It was the first time Vivien tried to actually make a friend on her own. Usually, she was being made someone's friend.
Although Regulus was sleepy, he opened his eyes, but there was not a lot to see in the darkness. He snorted because of how amiss Vi kept doing things. It did not shock him, though.
She was the only person that could have sex with someone after they had told her like about fifty times in a row that they were drowning in love for her desperately, and still ask them if they even liked her.
And Vi was the only person that Regulus did not have any expectations about. She was too impulsive to predict.
Vivien chewed harder on her cheek, hearing the little laughing sound Regulus let out.
Stop talking, you stupid cunt!
"I am sorry. I don't know what I thought I was doing." She rested her head back on his shoulder, feeling quite foolish, the corners of her eyes stinging easily.
"I want to be your friend, Vi." Regulus immediately reacted, hearing she had misread him.
Someone delusional would say that Regulus got used by an indecent girl, but Regulus considered himself actually levelling up by being called Vivien's friend rather than levelling down.
Vivien lifted her head, trying to glance at him. "Really?"
"I think there was a misunderstanding between us."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean in bed. I was supposed to make you feel loved but all that happened was me figuring out how horny you are, Vi. Also, you made me feel horny too, for what it's worth."
"No. I-I feel pretty loved too."
"Do you? Because you still question if I even want to be friends with you?"
"If you are implying what I think you are, I believe you don't have to like someone to be in love with them."
That's absurd! Regulus scratched his brow.
"Why would I be in love with someone I cannot stand?"
"I don't know. You fell in love with someone, who could not stand you."
"And now you are laying in my bed wearing only my jumper after calling me pretty."
"Don't flatter yourself too much, Regulus. I don't have an eye-defect, only poor decision-making skills."
"I wish I could disagree with you."
"Isnโt it ironic since you are the perfect example of my poor decision-making?"
Black scoffed, "Weren't you sleepy or something?"
"Why?"
"You knowโafter I made you finish twice, Vivien."
"Cocky. I can't help that it's my favourite sport."
"Your favourite what?"
"Sport."
"I doubt sex is considered a sport."
"But I rode your broomstick."
"That's naughty, and in Quidditch you fly on broomsticks, not ride them if that's what you really try to reference."
"That's on you that your broomstick does not fly. And if sex is not a sport, why does it involve so much physical strength and consume so much energy?"
"So you are exhausted, Vi."
"I prefer the word fulfilled, Black."
Vivien and Regulus argued back and forth.
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ย ย ย ย ย In the morning, Regulus woke up in the empty bed. Although he whined to himself, he knew it was for the best. There was a chance someone could catch him and Vi sleeping together. In theory, interacting intimately was expected of them sooner or later. In reality, what he and Vi had done was not an effect of someone's sick expectations!
Regulus was surprised that he did not wake to see Vivien leaving his room. He was always a light sleeper.
He found the jumper Vi wore a few hours before. It was folded on his armchairโso was her nightgown he had folded and laid it down in it. Black furrowed his eyebrows in amusement. He imagined Vi taking his jumper off and leaving his bedroom completely naked. It was an absolutely inappropriate thing to do! And sadly, he missed the view!
In the bathroom on the cabinet stood a little bottle. It was a Wiggenweld potion. Vi had to leave it for Regulus. He looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful piece of art created by her lips on his neck. That girl had an artistic spirit. It was the second time Vi created something so expressive on him, and the second time he regretted that he had to heal it.
Regulus came downstairs for breakfast. His parents and Manon already sat at the table, Kreacher setting it. Regulus bowed his head and took a seat. Four of them awaited a group of younger boys. Typically for them, they ran, slowing down only at the entrance of the dining room.
They all sat in stilled silence, Kreacher serving breakfast. Manon kept glancing at a free chair beside Regulus' like she had for the last few days. She was waiting hopefully.
The two families were about to have their meal when they heard- Vivien accidentally hit her arm on the doorframe. Everyone's head snapped in her direction, and she smiled shyly.
"Sorry." Vivien accidentally smacked her shoulder on the doorframe, everyoneโs heads whipping in her direction.
She smiled shyly, and she saw her brothers grinning. She winked subtly and approached her chair, sitting down in it and facing the four at the main table.
Vivien placed her hands on the table, and everyone took a note on a silver band on her left ring finger. She was not wearing her jewellery during her whole stay at Grimmauld Place 12, so it stood out.
"We are glad you joined us, sweetheart." Mr. Black welcomed her with a warm smile, pleased.
"I'm glad to join you too. Forgive me for my previous absences." Vivien apologised politely, her tone precise with kindness.
"Don't worry about this, sweetie." Mrs. Black assured. "We understand you needed some space for yourself." She smiled, and her tone changed to a meaningful one. "It seems you used your rest generously. You are glowing."
Vivien smiled even shyer. She peeped at Regulus out of the corner of his eyes. He looked away, his neck glowing pink at the thought of the night they had together.
Mr. Black cleared his throat persuasively, "Now everyone, enjoy your meals."
The breakfast was quiet, sunrises dipping inside the dining room, stroking everyoneโs skin with warmth. Vivien was savouring her tea, when she heard Manon.
"So, Vinny, how was your night?"
She lowered a cup. Long. Now, what is going on?
"Um, it was-I had some trouble falling asleep and was tossing around a lot." Her brows furrowed together.
"I thought that's what I heard." Walburga chuckled under her nose.
Vivien put the cup up to her lips and drank her tea, looking at Regulus' mother with a frown. 'That's what you heard'?
Mrs. Black glanced between her son and Vivien.
"Regulus' bed creaks a lot."
Regulus became white as a ghost instantly, his blood draining, his soul leaving.
"Gross!" Rosaire grimaced and Teddy hit him in the back of his head.
Ambroise pretended he heard nothing, lowering his face. Eden truly did not bother himself about all that adultery.
And Vi choked on her tea. She put the cup down, covering her mouth with her hand, coughing desperately in shock. She lowered her head, and the tea went out of her nose, soaking her vest and staining the collar of her blouse. She coughed more.
Breathing shallowly, she looked up, everyone staring at her, shaming herโfor what she did at the table or with Regulus.
With their shaming effective, Vivien looked around, her eyes searching for Regulus, abashed like a wild animal. He was not the friendliest face in the dining room with his judgemental look. It was a dirty look he gave her, making her feel nude, filthy, and disgusting in front of everyone else. Why the fuck is he judging? He was also there!
With her throat closing, Vivien stood up and marched out of the dining room hurriedly. Everyone could hear her echo heavily as she ran back upstairs to her room. Regulus listened to Vivien's stomps.
He left to follow after Vivien without a single word of excuse. He dragged his feet upstairs, feeling betrayed and naked. On the last floor, he stopped in front of Sirius' old bedroom. He knocked on the door.
"Go away." Vivien grumbled out of frustration.
Regulus opened the door and came inside anyway. Vivien was unbuttoning her blouse. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him before they returned to her button-up.
He saw her cheeks and eyes were reddenedโon the edge of crying. He didnโt understand why she felt like a victim?
"What do you want?" She asked, uninterested in how Regulus' eyes could study her.
She was uninterested in anything he was doing at that moment. She took off her button-up and threw it on her bed, where it landed on her sweater vest. With only a camisole protecting her breasts from Regulus' potential stare, she moved to the wardrobe.
"When did you have time to gossip with Manon and my mother about last night?"
Vivien cackled out loud, her eyes widening in disbelief. She opened the wardrobe and began looking between hangers with her clothes.
What the fuck did he just say to me?! She took one of the hangers in her hand and admired the plain black polo neck. She decided to wear it.
"Vivien,"
She slipped in the polo neck and walked towards the cheval glass standing in the corner of the room. She glanced at her reflection. A black polo neck combined with a black miniskirt and pastel green socks was too simple for her. She needed something with a pattern or an emerald colour. Or even betterโboth.
"Vivien,"
She turned her head around and looked at the dresser. She came closer to it and searched between folded miniskirts in the top drawer.
"Vivien,"
"It almost feels like furniture here talks. Shitehole is haunted." She said to herself, shaking her head.
"Vivien, answer me."
She found a dark green plaid miniskirt and she liked how it would match the socks and the stone on her ring.
"Perfect!" She smiled. She walked with it to her bed and laid it down. She unzipped the miniskirt she was wearing and let it fall to the floor. But before she could pick it up, someone else did.
Regulus also grabbed the short skirt lying on her bed.
Resting his back against the door had to bore him. Vivien glared at him wildly, and Regulus stormed at Vivien coldly.
"Vivien, I asked you a question." He said, calm but serious and strict, demanding an answer.
"Ask one that is worth answering." Vivien spat out, her lips twisting.
"I thought what was between us was between us, but you made a fool out of us two."
"Funny." She laughed bitterly.
Regulus clenched his jaw and a muscle twitched there.
"A few hours ago you agreed to be my friend, and now you have already managed to fuck me over that." She stabbed him with her finger at his chest.
"Who the fuck do you take me for? An actual whore? Manon might have sold me and your parents might have bought me, but I was never owned by anyone and I never will be!" She gritted through her teeth, her eyebrows frowning.
"You think your parents told me to fuck you or like to get fucked by you? That's what you think of meโthat I am just a body without a brain? A piece of meat? If that's what made you 'fall in love' with me, I'm sorry but you had to mistake me for someone else because that's not who I am!"
She was harshly whisper-shouting, assuming privacy meant nothing in the wizarding world anymore. She started moving her hands around.
"I admit I made a scene at the ball intentionally, but out of everyone you should understand that I had to give our audience something. But it was still me, and for the rest of that stupid night it was me. Only me! And it was only me last night. I did not lie to you. I desired you. Only I! You just said that you want to be my friend! When I despised you, you were 'in love' with me and now, when I want to like you, you try to hate me? What the fuck, Regulus?"
The couple heard how leaves outside rustled as the wind suddenly began blowing. Trees danced to the rhythm that the wind played them, and they stared at each other.
Vivien took a breath in and out to keep herself calm. She poked Regulus with her finger accusingly again.
"The first time I gave you a chance was a whim because you made me feel normal and that's what I needed from my friends and you acted like one, and I do not regret that it happened, only how it ended. Now I gave you a second chance because I wanted to have you close and I still want you close because you are a better person than everyone thinks of you. So think twice before you speak because there will be no third chance, and I will fuck you over the same way you are doing to me, Regulus."
Black inhaled and exhaled deeply, "If you did not use me, then how do my parents know what happened, Vi?"
Elaborate on 'use'.
"I did not try to keep myself quiet, fine? I was focused on other things. And I used no silencing spell, so did you. And your bed does creak. So I have an insane idea that maybe your lunatic of a mother just listened to you nearly fucking me into a wall through your bedframe."
Vivien chewed on her bottom lip, worried, concerned, scared.
Regulus swallowed thickly.
"She did not. My room is muted out." He bravely formed his words in a murmur.
She blinked blankly, "What?"
"It's muted out. Even if you screamed my name during, it would not be hearable outside. Kreacher charmed it for me with a strong silencing sound. My parents don't know. Someone would have to put a head through my door to hear what was happening inside." He elaborated laconically.
Vivien closed her eyes and rubbed her face. She had to understand it. A candle lit up in her brain. Her lips opened slightly as she looked at Regulus. He raised his brows.
"What if someone sticks their ear to your door?"
"What?"
"If someone sticks their ear to your door, they can hear! I did!"
Regulus' mouth opened and closed a few times until he figured out what she was talking about. Did Vi admit to overhearing him in his bedroom?
"You don't think E-"
"I do." Vivien had to sit down. She curled her legs on her bed, hugging them to her chest. "I can promise on my brothers' lives that I am not lying to you, Regulus. I did not do that."
Black placed her skirts down and sat down beside her.
"I believe you." He said silently. He trusted her. For Merlinโs sake, he did.
She had nearly cried because of how much his look and words hurt her, when she was as lost as he was.
"It was not fair of you to blame me. I have more rights to blame you, which I don't because you said you want to be friends with me and a friend would not do the thing you accused me of, Rebulus." She mumbled out and he heard her sniff trying to push away her sadness.
"I am sorry."
Vivien straightened her posture, letting her legs hang from the bed. Regulus finally let himself gaze at her body. He smirked at the view of her bare legs, and Vivien bit her lip to hide a smile that tried to sneak. They saw small bruises forming in a symmetrical pattern on the side of her thighs.
"I could not help myself and heal those. So I told myself that no one would see them anyway."
"Good thing my parents named me Noone."
Vivien scrambled to her knees closer to him. She laid her hand on his cheek, their gazes locking, their pupils dilating the same.
"I can make you someone." She caressed his skin.
Regulus seemed bewildered with what she meant.
"I want you to be my best friend, Rebulus. I know you already have Evan and Pandora for this but I could use having at least one." Vivien confessed hesitantly, lately not having many friends. Nor a fewโฆ
"So you want me to be your best friend actually, Vi?"
She nodded her head. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Because I don't know who is who anymore but you, Regulus. And you are the only person that I can confide in. We are the only two people that can relate to one another, and I want you to trust me and be honest with me as I want to do the same for you. And I guess that's what best friends are for?"
"Yes." Regulus nodded, softening, smiling. "I can be your best friend."
"And I can be yours?"
"I would like that too."
Vivien beamed lightly. She kissed Regulus in her happiness and he responded to her lips. It was a simple kiss but it made his heart flutter. He pulled her whole body on his laps and shared with her the most passionate short kiss he could give her. Regulus felt Vivien push him on the shoulders delicately. He took it as a sign to lie down, his back sinking in her mattress.
Vi slid down to his side but one of her legs stayed across his body. He turned his face towards her.
"Can I ask you a question, Regulus?" She whispered.
"Always."
"Why is your room muted out?" Her eyebrows lowered slightly but significantly.
"Is it a test of my honesty as your new best friend?" He raised his eyebrows.
She took a minute to think about it.
"Now that you said it, yes. But if you tell me you don't want to talk about it, you will pass it because it still counts as sincere."
He sighed, "So you know that Sirius lives with the Potters, and how it happened? Why did it happen?"
Vivien observed Regulus smile sadly.
"I do." She nodded her head weakly. "But now I know-" She words died out in the middle of the sentence, uncertain if it was her place to say such a thing into Regulus' face.
"What do you know, Vi?"
She dropped her gaze for a split second.
"I know that Sirius is not the only victim of this house."
Regulus grasped Vivien's thigh in his hand, gently squeezing it from time to time for his comfort, telling her his story.
"It happened the first night after Sirius ran away. I was in bed and I could not stop tears anymore. I cried. After some time, my mother came into my room. She was even more furious after listening to me and my crying. She attacked me. Afterwards she said that I wasted tears for nothing. And that's what she meant. Sirius is nothing to her. Not even none. I swear, at that moment I've had enough. I stayed lying how she has left me in silence for hours. The second night, I tried to keep myself quiet but it was not good enough. My mother was not done. After the second time she came into my bedroom, Kreacher said that his duty is to serve our family and provide my mother with the peace she needs. He charmed my bedroom so I could not disturb my parents. He did it against their wishes, and we never told them."
Regulus murmured.
Vivien kept stroking Regulus' cheek. Her heart ached. His eyes never left hers. He did not seem mad, scared or even sad. He was simply there. His grey eyes were blank. She did not ask him any questions. He told her that story the way he was comfortable with it and she did not want to abuse his security when he was stripped from his privacy already.
Vi could imagine what Regulus meant by being attacked by his mother after she had seen Sirius during that Christmas break. Or after she saw Regulus after his mother punished him for his behaviour towards her. Vivien shifted towards him, resting her forehead against his. Their noses brushed against each other.
"I am so sorry that your mom did it to you and your dad let her. It's fucked up and you never deserved the things your parents have ever done to you."
They embraced the silence and each other. It brought solitude. Although Regulus' hand was not the first time on Vi's body, his fingertips drawing patterns on her bare skin gave her goosebumps three times in a row. She felt little and silly after he smirked arrogantly.
"Don't triumph. It's just tickling." Vivien slowly crawled out of his arms.
He sat up as she grabbed her miniskirt.
"I am sorry."
She paused in place, her eyebrows raising.
"What?"
"I am sorry for what I said." Regulus had a genuine written all over his faceโregret, guilt.
He kneeled in front of Vi, making her clench on her miniskirt stressily.
"I won't lieโI am fond of your body but I fancy you because of your mind, Vi. I didn't mean to harm you and I don't think you are a brainless piece of meat."
Regulus took out the small skirt from Vivien's tight hold and he held it for. She watched him look up, trying to encourage her to let him help her. Vivien supported herself by holding his shoulders, and he slipped the miniskirt on her fragile figurine.
Regulus buttoned it up at its side and looked up at Vivien with his big innocent eyes.
Vivien squeezed his shoulders, smiling faintly.
"You do this on purpose."
"Do what?"
"Going on knees for me and making these eyes because you know I would like that."
"I'm a fast learner." Regulus smiled.
He stood up but Vi didn't take her hands away from him. She wrapped them around his neck and smiled.
"I like when you try to charm me." She pulled him closer to kiss him.
"Vi," He mumbled against her lips.
She separated from him.
"Yes?"
"We never really talked about it because after the first time you were ignoring me but-"
"What?" She tilted her head, her tone tender and caring about Regulus and his needs.
"Do you need something? I mean after sex? Because if you do, we could-"
Oh. She smiled, hearing what he neededโwas to know what her needs were.
"I'm on potion." Vivien interrupted. "You don't have to worry that in nine months there will be another star that shines as bright as you blinding me." She assured, her thumb drawing the line of his throat, delicate against his Adamโs apple.
"I'm just worried that you would have to give birth to another Black." Regulus responded to her joke very seriouslyโshe could tell.
She did not fully understand what he meant but she did not ask. She felt that they were sharing an intimate moment in its personal meaning. She breathed in and out nervously before she spoke out too,
"Regulus, promise me you will never again look at me that way." She said on one breath, standing up for herself.
"What way?"
"That way like I was the nastiest person you've ever looked atโthat way you did back in the dining room."
Regulus softened. He brought Vivien into him, embracing her.
"I swear on my life I will never dare to make you feel nasty in any way ever again, Vi. I'm sorry that I even dared. You never deserved it, and I'm so sorry."
He kissed her on her hair, soon resting his chin on her head as she curled into his chest, hiding in safety.
Chapter 15: the end of funtimes
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien challenged herself to risk it all for her brothers. She stood in the doorframe of the living room, observing everyone.
Manon and Walburga sat on one couch gossiping and sipping their teas. Orion sat on one end of the other couch reading his book quietly. On the other end, sat Regulus reading his own lecture. In the middle of all of that, Teddy and Edan sat on the opposite sides of the coffee table, playing magical chess that rushed with their every murmur. Vivien was not sure how much of the game Eden really understood or how he learned its rules, but he was winning against Theodore who also thought it to be suspicious.
Vivien was squinting her eyes at her little brother's pawns' movements and Regulus gazed at her. It caught his father's attention. He looked at the girl that his son was admiring so intensely. Regulus admired how the dress Vi was wearing fitted each and every curve of her body perfectly like it was sewn on her and how beautifully she looked in the lavender colour.
"Do you need anything, sweetheart?" Asked older Mister Black, causing everyone to look at Vivien.
Vivien focused on Regulus' dad and smiled sweetly.
"No." She nodded her head before she stopped herself. "I mean-actually, yes. Sorry, I just need to ask somethingโor rather for something."
Manon sighed loudlyโtheatrically. She put down her cup on the coffee table with Mistress Black.
"What is it, Vinny?"
"Don't be shy, sweetieโwhat do you need?" Walburga smiled more warmly than her dramatic mother.
It was crystal clear to Vivien that Regulus' parents treated her as their own daughterโa daughter they never had. It was saddening and she could not imagine how the boy had to feel witnessing his parents acting with care towards someone who was not himโwhen it was all he probably ever wanted from themโeven if it was fake.
"It's still summer and I know we were kept here for our safety, but tomorrow we're leaving for schoolโexcept Edenโand I thought that maybe at least today me and my brothers could go out. There is a little park in front of your residence and I would love to take them there for a walk for an hour. It's summer and we spent it in the middle of London between four walls, and poor Eden could not enjoy our presence too much." Vivien elaborated, walking deeper inside the room.
She stopped at the sofa beside Regulus. She was very aware of how he was adoring the view she was in in a dress that his mother had given her as a gift.
It was an antique sundress renewed for Vivien. It had long puffy sleeves, a square collar, and a corset. It was flowy on the bottom and ended above her knees. Vivien decided to wear it after dinner, thinking it would work in her favour. It surely did for Regulus, but at the moment Vivien depended on his parents.
Walburga and Manon glanced at her, pleased with the dress she chose to wear. Eden looked at his sister, intrigued with her clothesโso did Teddy. Between his brows appeared a line out of confusion. Vivien swept Regulus' arm from the armrest and took a seat there. She looked down at him, and their eyes met.
"I actually thought that maybe Regulus could join us on the walk to-" Her voice got stuck in her throat, the more intense their looks became.
She had to look away from him and clear her throat. He was gazing at her so intenselyโtoo intensely, when it was not the time and where it was not the placeโto consume her like that.
"Sorry, I thought that he could join us to watch over us. Of course if you agree, Mrs. and Mr. Black, which I hope you do."
Her eyes softened intentionally at Mr. Black. He looked at his wife, who nodded her head, smiling. Mr. Black looked towards his daughter-in-law and smiled.
"Go." He said laconically before going back to his book.
Regulus closed his lecture with a deaf thud and Vivien put her hand in his hair, brushing it carefully to not knot his curls.
Eden hopped up to his feet, excited. He jumped onto Regulus, hugging him and Vivi around her waist. Teddy grinned and his big sister winked at him with a similar grin.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien did not waste any timeโshe dragged her brothers and Regulus outside immediately. She was the first to walk, holding hands with Eden as they swung back and forth. They were enjoying the fresh breeze, followed by a group of teenage boys.
It was late on the last day of summer and that small park was abandoned by civilization. The only people they saw was an elderly couple of muggles that Vivien smiled at sincerely, and they wished her good evening. She, her brothers, and Regulus were the only people left there.
"Oh, for the love of Merlin, Black, stop staring at her!" Groaned Bambi.
Funnily, Rosaire and Ambroise as soon as they learnt that something had happened between the oldest boy and their big sister [again], they became very wary and hostile towards Black whenever he was too close to Vivien, which was always.
It was too much of a touch, even if it was his eyes on her body. Teddy relished every minute of it, snickering, tasting his favourite flavour. It was a flavour of guts after the two were trying to gut Regulus from the inside out. And it all made Vivien frustrated because they had no right to her or Regulus' privacy! It was not their business what happened between the couple once the door of their bedrooms were closed. She wanted to have these stupid few hours with Regulus for herselfโand againโsomeone was taking it from her!
Vivien rolled her eyes and swirled around with Eden, graceful in her new dress.
"Oh, so now you don't like Black?" She asked accusingly, staring at four boys.
Ambrosie and Rosaire were on both sides of Regulus, Teddy sneaking behind them like their shadow, looming over them like darknessโlike the grey cloud he was. They all stopped on the path.
"I didn't like him from the beginning." Murmured Teddy and Regulus scoffed.
"Yes, because he is romancing with you now!" Rosaire crossed his arms over his chest, frowning angrily at his big sister.
"Before he was just trying to pursue you and he wasn't successful!" Ambrosie added, throwing his hands in the air.
"I guess he was." Eden babbled out, causing his older brothers to stare at him to silence him.
But little Eden's words made Regulus smirk proudly. At least one person appreciated his efforts!
"No one is pursuing me, and no one is romancing me!" Vivien pointed her finger warningly at four boys, Regulus included just because.
"It's because he's romancing with you! Can you stop doing so?!" Ambrosie scolded, his tone distasted.
"I was not doing anything, only walking!"
Regulus just stood there, conflicted about whether he had a right to voice an opinion, the siblings shouting at each other.
"Then stop walking!"
"How the fuck am I supposed to go for a walk without walking?!"
"I don't care if it makes him stop viewing you!"
"It won't! He's been looking at me for the last four years!"
"And now he has a reason for it since you two are-"
Eden stood there, his eyes jumping from his big sister to his older brothers, they all fighting.
"Since we are what?!" Vivien glared at Rosaire with wild maniacal eyes.
"Dating." Ambrosie said it quietly and quickly, his cheeks turned pink.
So did Rosaire's.
"He had a reason to view me the whole summer! No one is dating anyone! We're just friends!"
"Are you the same type of friend as you are with Edgar?!"
Regulus groaned, hearing Bones' name. Everyone stormed him with glares.
"Shut up!" Vivien, Teddy, Rosaire, and Ambrosie snapped at once, synchronised together.
Regulus' eyes met Eden, who shrugged his little shoulders. Two of them gave up, standing in the middle of that mess.
"Maybe instead of focusing all this attention on me, focus it on yourself, you little shite!"
"You're not my mother to tell me what to do!"
"No, your mother has a mash-of-brain instead of an actual organ!"
"So does yours!"
"Yes! I'm your older sister, and since you have no one else to support you, be thankful and support me back! That's all I'm asking for! I put on a nice dress and took you for a fucking walk to make you all smile, not to mop around Black! I would cherish very much a simple 'You look beautiful, Vivi' from anyone instead of being quietly objectified by all the three of you!"
Vivien trembled with madness, the breeze efficiently changing into a blowing wind, causing her dress to fly.
How dare they! She caught the dress, keeping it down, and so did Eden. Her heart thudded, and she felt heat, her cheeks reddening from fury. The audacity!
"Are you okay, Vivi?" Little Eden asked her, looking up at her. She looked down at him.
"I'll be. Come on, Eden, we go on our own walk. Do you want to join us, Regulus?" She glanced at him.
Regulus looked between upset Vi and her upset brothers.
"I will stay with them." He assured Vivien.
She nodded her head. She slipped past them, elbowing Ambrosie on the way. He stared at her but she did not do the same.
"Stupid." Muttered Eden at his older brothers, disappointed that they ruined the walk that was supposed for him to celebrate summer with his older siblings, who were about to leave him again!
Stupid!, stupid!, stupid!
When Vivien and Eden disappeared, their brothers looked around everywhere, avoiding each other's and Regulus' faces.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien took Eden to the muggle playground. She was swinging the little boy on that weird mechanism that she and Evan saw a mother with her son use. Eden was familiarly flying up into the sky and falling back towards the ground. He sat on a seat that was hanging from a stand-like device. Muggles are creative, Vivien thought to herself, seeing the mechanism from close. She was swinging Eden up and down for some time until she took a seat on the other seat beside her little brother. They swung slowly and lowly in silence, observing the sky.
"I'm sorry." Eden said suddenly.
Vivien glanced at him, but he was focused on the sky.
"For what?" Her eyebrows furrowed together.
"That we ruined our walk." He glanced back at her.
"No, you didn't ruin anything, Eden. I'm sorry that me and our brothers ruined your walk." Vivien apologised, smiling apologetically, heartfelt at how pure he was.
"Now that we have said sorries to each other, will you still be angry at Bambi, Rosie, and Teddy?"
"I'm not angryโIโm saddened."
"Because they don't like Regulus anymore?" Eden raised his brows.
"No, because they disrespected me."
"It was not nice of them to talk about your and Regulusโ friendship, was it? Since you didn't want to?"
Vivien sighed and let out under a breath, "It was rude."
Eden fell into silence again, biting the inside of his cheek, his lips tightening. He was dwelling with himself on something. Vivien's hands clenched on chains that held her seat in the air.
"I did something rude too, Vivien." Eden whispered, lowering. "I told mama and Mrs. Black about what I heard. Nights ago, I couldn't sleep and-"
"I know, Eden." Vivien nodded her head with tears gathering in her eyes and blurring her vision.
But fell from the seat to his feet and came closer to Vivien, causing her to stop softly kicking her own feet. He admitted further,
"I went to Regulus'. I stuck my ear to his door to check if he was up, but I heard that you both were up in his bedroom. I heard Regulus telling you that you didn't have to continue. You asked him if he didn't want to, because you do. He said not if you feel bad, and then I heard your lips smacking, and it was a gross sound, so I left. But in the morning, I told mama all that, and Mrs. Black was there." He began sobbing and laid his head on Vivien's laps. "I'm sorry!"
A tear stained Vivien's rosy cheek. She laid her hand on the back of his head, brushing his hair.
"Eden," She swallowed. "Our mama and Regulus' mama told you to spy on Regulusโit's why you started sneaking into his bedroom, isn't it?"
"They told me to watch Regulus and you to see if you are friends but I sneaked into his bedroom because he's my buddy now! I swear! Don't tell him! He's my buddy!" Eden shook his head in her laps, panicking.
Vivien rested her hand on his cheek, encouraging him to face her.
"Shhh, don't cry, ma puce. It's alrightโI'm not angry. No one is mad at you. I won't tell Regulus."
She moved her hands on his cheeks, caressing it. He cuddled to her legs for comfort. She wiped a tear from his pinkish skin.
"I'm not angry at you, Eden. You did good. You did what you were told. Shhh. Regulus would never be angry at you."
After some time of stroking Edenโs cheek, Vivien took him onto her laps. He rested against her chest with his head against her shoulder.
"Eden, why do you come to Regulus at night?"
"Because of the monsters." He mumbled out tiredly, feeling sleepy after experiencing such intense emotions for a small child. Guilt, regret, fear, and disorientation. All alone.
"From under the bed?" Vivien questioned.
"Yes. Regulus helps me to hide from them."
"Hide?"
"Yes, he showed me how he got rid of his."
Her heart warmed.
"How did he do it?"
"He said he used to hide in his wardrobe when his monsters tried to get to him, and he once scared them away when they were looking for him in his bed."
"So you hide together in his wardrobe?"
"Whenever I feel them almost finding me in darkness, I go to Regulus to gain some time before they do, and together we hide in his wardrobe but monsters have to remember how Regulus scared them the last time, and they never show up under his bed! After I feel that they went away, we go to bed. Regulus told me, if I ever have troubles with them, I can sleep in his bed because they will never dare to hurt me there." Eden enlived, nodding his head eagerly.
"And it's true! They never look for me when I am in Regulus' bed!" He swore as like his life depended on it.
Vivien smiled softly, her heart melting.
"I believe you."
They sat watching the sunset. The sky over their heads painted with pink and purple, Vivien swinging her and Eden, weakly kicking her feet back and forth. They heard someone approach but they didn't look away from the sky.
"You really do look beautiful, Vivi." Rosaireโs voice claimed, kind and sweet.
"I know."
"She knows."
Eden and Vivien said at once, staring at him just the same.
Ambrosie sat in the other seat of the mechanism, and Rosie leaned on the chain, locking his hands around it. Regulus and Teddy stood on the other side of Vivien and Eden.
"We're sorryโwe would never mean to make you feel judged or like a tool." Ambrosie apologised with a sincere tone of regret, his face soft.
Vivien heard Teddy clear his throat, and she turned her head and stared at him with Eden.
"We know your friendship with Black is not our concern but you are our sister and it's our duty to look out for you like you do for us, which we are thankful for. It's just a lot to get used to, you know, seeing you two being friendly. It was about making Regulus feel cautious about his behaviour towards you to not overstep his line ever again, not about objectifying you and making you feel like a tool. It's his fault he keeps viewing you."
Vivien and Eden looked blankly between their brothers. Then she looked at Regulus with her green steady irises. She smiled.
Regulus was scolded for his actions so much that he was not even embarrassed about them anymore. He smiled with his dimples showing. Vivien tilted her head.
"I don't blame him. I would view myself too. This dress is lovely."
"It is."
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ย ย ย ย ย The group of kids was running around the park, playing tag. Even though it got dark with passing time, they did not appear to give up on their fooling.
Regulus caught Eden in his arms and spun him around in a circle, while the little boy exclaimed joyfully. Vivien ran towards them and hugged herself to Black's back. Rosaire and Ambrosie came along, embracing them, making them all fall to the ground. And Teddy jumped at them.
They all lay in the grass out of breath but happy, hidden between the trees. They felt carefree, forgetting about all the everyday problems of life.
Vi and Regulus faced each other and she giggled. He grinned. They all lay quietly and Eden, resting on top of Regulus, appeared to think about something difficult.
"I wish Philippe was here." He mumbled out with his cheek against Regulusโ torso after some time.
Eden's low spirit, made Vi's good spirit go away too. Everyone looked at Eden, who was sad.
"He's here." She assured.
"I know he is. But I wish I could hear him and talk to him."
"You still have us to do so."
"Until tomorrow, when you go to school. Philippe would stay with me, but adults found a way to make him leave too." Eden whispered, sad.
Bambi put a hand on his back, rubbing him there to give him some closure and comfort in his sorrow. They were silent until Regulus asked a question.
"How old was Phillippe?"
"He is seven. He turned seven back in April." Answered Rosie.
After a few minutes, all the boys collected themselves from the ground. Vivien was the last to still rest, watching the dark sky and stars blinking at her from behind the leaves of the tree crown. She felt someone kick her at her foot.
"Vivi," Teddy smiled at her.
"A helping hand would be nice." She said tiredly.
In the blink of an eye, Regulus stood over her, stretching his arms for her. She accepted his offer, and he brought her upโso strongly that she bumped into his chest with hers.
Good thing it's dark. Her cheeks heated up, and she knew she was blushing. She felt tingling in her chest.
"Hi," She smiled shyly.
"Hi," Regulus smirked.
Her teenage brothers made puking noises and repulsed faces, but it didn't discourage Vivien from placing her hands on Regulus' neck and kissing him. He kissed her as gently. They separated and they saw disgusted Rosaire covering Eden's eyes. Teddy stood there emotionless, and Ambrosie was grinning. Vivien knew that they were cheerful to see herโtheir big sisterโsmiling, even if it was secretive on Teddyโs behalf.
And she wanted them to know that Regulus was making her smile after everything that had happened with Nolan.
She turned around in Regulus' arms. Her back rested against his chest, and his hands wrapped around her waist. Vivien felt Regulus leaving a trail of small kisses along her soft skin, which gave her shivers that they didn't comment on in front of her brothers.
"Can I say it? Please!" Rosie begged.
Vivien rolled her eyes but Regulus nodded his head with his chin resting on her shoulder.
"Gross!" Rosaire groaned. After a moment he said, composed, "Sorry, but it will take some time to get used to your friendship."
Eden growled gibberish and ripped his hands off of his small face, slapping them.
"Don't act like a child! We've seen parents kiss before." He complained.
They all directed their steps towards Grimmauld Place 12, Eden pushing himself between Black and Vi, catching their hands in his small ones to swing them.
When they all entered the Black residence, they found their parents awaiting them in the living room like they had left them. Manon's, Mrs., and Mr. Black's heads snapped in their children's direction. They had serious faces.
Vivien felt stressed and she took a step forward.
"I'm sorry that we came so late, but it was so pleasant outside-"
In the meantime, Walburga stood up from the couch, and moved towards her. She was clutching a letter in her hand.
"For you." She said blankly and almost stuck it in her mouth to shut her.
Vivien glanced down at the thing. The letter was opened. Her brothers and Regulus glanced at it as well until she accepted it. Walburga didn't say a word and turned away.
"Go to bed everyoneโyou need to sleep. Tomorrow you all will have a long day." Orion finished the conversation.
They all ran upstairs, boys choosing not to bother Vivien about the letter. It was a touchy topic for Mrs. and Mr. Black since there was mail exchanged in their home that they didn't know about. None else even knew that Vivien sent any letters at allโsupervised or unsupervised.
ย
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฑโโฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย Vivien lingered on not reading the letter from Marlene. She thought about all the positive and negative effects that it could have on her but deep down she wanted to find out the truth that she was searching for so desperately. For peace of mind.
"
๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท,
๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐๐ธ๐พ.
๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ!
๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ป๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ซ๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ.
๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐น๐ต๐ช๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ.
๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ๐ญ, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท. ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ.
๐๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ป๐พ๐ท๐ด ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ต๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ผ๐ผ๐พ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐น๐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ผ๐ธ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐๐ธ๐พ. ๐๐ท๐ญ ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐น๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ญ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ. ๐ก๐ฎ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ท๐ช๐ท๐ท๐ ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ผ๐ธ ๐๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ธ ๐ช๐ท๐๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐น๐ฒ๐ญ. ๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐๐๐ช๐. ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ญ๐ป๐พ๐ท๐ด, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐ซ๐ซ๐ธ๐ป๐ท ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐พ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ญ. ๐ก๐ฎ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ. ๐๐ฎ ๐น๐พ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ญ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ, ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐พ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ช ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ. ๐๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐บ๐พ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ด๐ต๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ท๐ฐ.
๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ-๐ซ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ด ๐ช๐ญ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ! ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐น ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ป๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ! ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐น๐ฒ๐ญ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ณ๐ธ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ. ๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ต๐ธ๐พ๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ต๐ธ๐ธ๐ญ๐ ๐ณ๐ธ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ช๐ต๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ, ๐ฝ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐ฝ. ๐๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ'๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐พ๐น๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ป๐พ๐ถ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ท.
๐'๐ถ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐, ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท! ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐ ๐ช๐ถ!
๐ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ฝ๐ฑ. ๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ๐ด ๐ช ๐ฏ๐ช๐พ๐ต๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฏ.
๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ต๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ป๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ป๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ช๐, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ข๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐พ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ. ๐๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ. ๐ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ด๐ท๐ฎ๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐, ๐ช๐ต๐ป๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ? ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฎ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐พ๐น๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ต๐น ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐พ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฏ๐พ๐ป๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ป๐. ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฑ๐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ: ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ต๐๐ช๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐พ๐ป๐ท ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ.ย ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ต๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ช๐ฌ๐ ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฑ๐พ๐ป๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ธ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐. ๐ฆ ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ!ย ๐'๐ถ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต ๐ต๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ.
๐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ป๐ป๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ธ๐ต๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ! ๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐น๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ช๐๐ซ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ฝ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ฝรช๐ฝ๐ฎ-ร -๐ฝรช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท.
๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐,ย ๐๐ช๐ป๐ต๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ
"
Vivien laughed while reading the letter Marlene sent her. I don't know if I will ever figure out what 'peace' actually means.
Oh, it made the young witch feel all better because her so-called friends were sorry! They fooled her and lied to her but it was alright because they were just lost! What a relief that Sirius was aware he had done something fucked up once again! It was so much better that Vivien knew her so-called friends were aware they were in the wrongโthey simply decided not to own up to it, instead trying to fool her.
For Gryffindors, they all acted rather cowardly.
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ย ย ย ย ย As Vivien laid in her bed, she was tossing and turning from one side to another. She was so upset and quite emotional. Her feelings were eating her from the inside out, making her restless. She preferred not to check a clock for a time to not make herself even more nervous. All she knew was that it was dark, when she heard her bedroom door creak open. A little figure lurked inside the room.
"Eden?" She whispered, sitting up.
"Oui."
She furrowed her eyebrows.
"Are you alright? Did something happen?"
"I can't sleep." He murmured, walking further into the room.
"Me too." Vivien said, watching little Eden climb up on her bed to sit. In the starlight, she could see that he seemed quite troubled with his little face. She hooked her arm around his torso, pulling him onto her laps.
"You are worried that we're leaving?" She asked, brushing his wavy hair.
He looked up at her.
"I'm worried that I'm letting you go." Eden murmured.
Vivienโs stomach twisted.
"What do you mean?"
Eden shrugged his shoulders.
"Papa left to fight bad men and they took him. They found me, Philippe, grandies and mama in our home, and hurt us, Vivi. Grandpa used to say home is where you can always come back and hide from all the dangerous beasts, but the beasts found us even in there. What stops them from finding you in Hogwarts?"
Vivien breathed deeply, wrapping her arms around her baby brother securely, pulling him closer.
"I don't know, Eden. Maybe there is nothing." She sighed, thinking. "Do you know what you did when the monsters came after you?"
"I tried to hide?"
"No, you fought for your life."
"Did I?"
"You did everything you could to stay protected."
"I was scared."
"Yes-"
"Vivi, are you scared?" Eden cut in, making Vi shut her mouth.
Silence.
He could hear how she swallowed, his ear against her chest.
"I am, Eden. I am so scared of everything." She admitted quietly.
"But you fight to stay protected?"
"Yes."
"Why? Why do we fight our fears if they are so frightening?"
Vivien tightened her embrace, trying to melt Eden into her to make sure he was always safe with her.
"Because it's instinct. We have too much to live for, Eden, and it is less scary to fight our fears than to give up and let them win. You fought to see our parents, grandies, Poe, Dove, Raven, and our siblings. So if ever the time comes and bad men find me and our brothers at Hogwarts to hurt us, we will fight back to see you again, Eden. Because you are too much to lose for me and our brothers."
Vivien could feel Eden nod his head.
"And Regulus?" He asked innocently, making his big sister smile.
"Regulus will fight to see you again too."
Eden pushed himself away from Vivien, her arms unwrapping. He looked at her attentively.
"How do you know?"
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus sat paging through the novel that Dorcas borrowed him. He was sneaky about reading it because if his parents caught him holding a book written by a muggle, they would cut his whole arms off. He was reading it until he heard a knock on his door. And in dim light, he saw Eden lurk into his bedroom.
"Is everything fine, Eden?" Regulus closed the book.
Eden nodded his head, opening the door wider and bringing Vi into his bedroom after himself, holding her hand. Regulus put his lecture down, seeing Vivien and Eden standing in his bedroom.
"We can't sleep." Eden said shortly, but it was clearly an insinuation for Regulus to take in, two siblingsโbig sister and baby brotherโawaiting his reaction.
Regulus smiled to himself and moved over to the side of his bed. He placed the book on the nightstand and turned around on his side. He wouldn't dare dismiss or even question their motives. He laid down, glancing at Vivien and Eden.
It was nice that Eden's solution to sleeping problems was to come to him. So was the solution he advised Vivien. Regulus thought it was nice to be needed. He grasped the duvet in the air for them as an invitation. Eden, without a second thought, dragged Vivien to Regulus' bed.
She stopped at the bedside, expecting the little boy to go first and take a place between her and Regulus but he stopped and looked up at her. Eden pointed his finger at Regulus.
"He's your boyfriend, not mine, Vivi."
Vivien wasn't sure what Eden meant.
"Actually, he's my fiancรฉ." She corrected.
"Whatever he is that only confirms he has to like hugging you more than he likes hugging me because he didn't propose to me." Eden muttered like it was obvious, getting impatient.
Vivien smiled shyly. She and Regulus glanced at each other. He was smiling softly, and his usually icy eyes were cloudy and dreamyโsleepy. Vivien wouldn't say it out loud but she liked the offer and truthfully she needed someone to hug her the same way Eden needed itโfrom someone who could make her feel safe.
She was simply shy about being in the spotlight in such an affectionate act, while both boys had their eyes focused on her. Sheepishly, she moved under the blanket with her back facing Regulus. She stayed a few inches away, hoping he would close the distance between them. Eden hopped on the bed. Without being asked, he snuffed out the candle on the nightstand and laid down on his side against Vivien's torso. He slightly curled into a ball with his back into her torso and his head under her chin. She kissed him on top of his head.
Once they all laid, Regulus moved closer to him and Vi. He laid his arm across her waist to reach Eden. He hugged both siblings. Vivien could feel his presence behind her. It was a good feeling to be held. Although she knew Eden came there with a purpose, she rested peacefully.
He was working up his courage to confess his sins to Regulus and ask for his forgiveness.
"Rebulus?" He murmured.
"Yes?" Regulus mumbled out through his sleepiness.
"I told our mamas that I heard you kiss Vivi at night."
Regulus already knew that. Still his heart ached.
"I know." He whispered.
Vivien felt how he tickled her neck with his breath.
"I'm sorry."
Regulus' heart ached for Eden. He was a childโonly a child.
Regulus knew it. Vivien knew it. His parents and her mother knew it. But Eden didn't and their parents used it against him. Eden was blaming himself despite the fact that it was obvious that being controlled was what he did because he was scared. He was not even five. He was a baby. A child used as a weapon against other children. Because that's what the three of them were. Children.
Children, who had to protect other children because adults abused them. Parentsโthose parents, who were supposed to hold their hands and walk them through hell were the ones who put them in it to begin with.
"It's fine, buddy." Regulus assured.
"I promise I won't tell them anything again!" Eden kept claiming it wasn't.
Vivien's heart hammered harder, and it was almost as if Regulus could feel it.
"Please, don't. Do as your mother and my parents ask you to, Eden."
"But I don't want to! It's rude!"
"It's fine."
"It isn't!"
"It's rude of adults to ask you to do such a thing, Eden, not rude of you to do it." Regulus elaborated.
"It's not?"
"It's not. Please, do tell them anything they ask you about."
"About now too?"
Regulus took the moment to answer. Vivien felt how he shifted in their shared personal space. She felt his curls tickle her neck. She felt how his soft lips stroked the skin of her shoulder. And when they weren't on her skin anymore, she felt quite empty. Because that's what happenedโRegulus broke away from the kisses he gave her on the shoulder to answer.
"Yes. About now too."
Still she appreciated those few kisses on her shoulder. They were weightless, almost freeing her from all the worries, making her float.
Regulus made sure that even though those moments would be stolen from him, there was a tiny detail that he could keep for himself. It was dark. Vivien spooned Eden and Regulus spooned them both. Eden couldn't see how Regulus had left those few sweet kisses on his big sister's shoulder. There was one thing his parents wouldn't take from him. These few little kisses that tasted so sweetly on his lips.
There was silence for a longer moment until Eden asked him the most important question.
"Would you fight to see me again, Rebulus?"
Black softened.
"I would always fight to see you again, Eden."
Vivien was glad that Regulus had the same understanding of the situation. He understood Eden had to be protected at all cost. He was only a kidโso young, pure, and lost in the world of adults.
Vivien pitied her little brother. He was about to grow up too soon. He was about to lose his childhood and live disappointed by their mother, whom he loved so unconditionally. He was about to share a faith with all her brothers. No matter how much Vivien tried to overbear it, it always happened. And she had no other choice but to go over five hundred miles away for school and leave Eden to deal with that disappointment on his own.
Chapter 16: valentine's day
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat at the Gryffindor table with Lils, Marls, Mary, Ali, and Frank. She was stabbing her mashed potatoes with a fork. Near them sat the self-titled Marauders with Edgar.
Vivien was not eating her dinner, while Mary was telling her, Marlene, and Lily about her last date. Alice was supposed to listen too, but she was making heart eyes at Longbottom instead. He was whispering sweet nothings into her ear, which made her giggle and punch him on the shoulder, flushing pink on her cheeks. Hogwarts' sweethearts.
The Valentine's Day celebration was ending. Vivien liked that day. It had its charm and she was a witness to a few cute moments. Simply, she was not the one to experience them. Every year, Hogwarts organised a mail post during Valentine's Day, and anyone could send a romantic gift to anyone. Cupids were flying around for the whole dayโsometimes even in the classrooms during classes.
Vivien was used to the fact she did not get anything through it from anyoneโbut one person. Yet, that year she had a reason to not suspect to get anything even from them. Not after what they had seen and heard. They had to think her to be disgusting and pathetic for pitying herself.
Vivien thought she was right, not receiving anything from them by dinnertime, when cupids were finishing their job for a year.
Vivien was already gifted a small bouquet of pink tulips by Jamieโthat he gave her with his jaw clenched and teeth gritted, a white rose from Pete, milk chocolate with hazelnuts from Remi, and a red rose from SiriโBlack charmed the pockets of his rob and kept pulling roses for anyone who passed him, trying to make everyone fall in love with him.
Vivien even got a hang-out offer from Edgar. It was the first time they were about to meetโonly the two of them alone.
Vivien liked Bonesโhe was always friendly to everyone and open to herโalways teasing her. He was a good friend.
Vivien's brothers knew she believed Valentineโs day was a day for people in love and she didn't like to blend romantic feelings with platonic onesโthey didn't try to mess with her idealistic image by giving her unwanted gifts.
Vivien was drinking her tea, when another bouquet of flowers flew in her direction. It was like that the whole day.
"Heads down." Lily warnedโVivien heard.
The bouquet was hugeโthe three cupids needed to carry it, which caught many students' eyes.
Vivien and her friends thought the cupids would fly over them but the trio landed on the table exactly in front of them.
"Miss Beauchรชne?" Asked one of the cupids. No, he hitched out.
The other two looked around the group. Everyone glanced at Vivien, sitting between Lily and attached-to-Frank Alice. She lowered her cup.
"Yes?" Her eyebrows furrowed, her head tiltedโin suspicion, mistrustful at first.
"Oh, here you are. For you, Vivien." The cupids smiled and pushed a vase with a bouquet towards her.
She looked at flowers. It was a bunch of hydrangeasโpurple onesโher favourite. They were fresh and blooming in a crystal vase.
"Who is-" Mary began.
"Secret admirer!" The cupids cut in, effortlessly flying away without another word.
Their silence was meaningful enough, and the teenage girls already knew everything they needed.
"Who is it from?" Longbottom leaned closer towards the thing.
Boysโฆ His girlfriend, MacDonald, Evans, and McKinnon looked at him blanklyโto say the least.
"Take a guess." Marlene wiggled her eyebrows as she smiled with girls.
Vivien only stared at the bouquet.
"You think it's from him?"
Marlene nodded.
"You can talk shite about him, Vivien, but you have to admit that Siri-"
Vivien arose and hugged the vase safely to her chest as it was too huge for her to hold it securely any other way.
Vivien was not very talkative that day and her friends didn't mind her quietness. They didn't try to stop her, knowing she was not insulted or so with themโshe was simply tired. They assumed it could have something to do with a letter from her dad that she got in the morning that day or with the time she had spent in the Hospital Wing sickโtwice over last month.
Vivien marched past the Marauders and Edgar.
"Prongs, I think you are losing this year's Valentine's Day." Sirius chuckled.
James shoved him on the shoulder.
"Who is it from?" Peter asked, ignoring them both.
Vivien turned around, walking backward. "Arseclown."
Remus and Edgar stood up from the bench.
"Do you need help with it?"
She shook her head and they flopped down.
Vivien slowly made her way through the Great Hallโfrom the Gryffindor table to the Slytherin one. Students were glancing at her and her flowers as she was stomping along the Slytherin table until she reached the group of five.
Dorcas, Barty, and Pandora sat on the opposite side of the table from her. They glanced at her coming closer at once. It made Evan's and Regulus' heads snap towards her. Evan patted his best friend on the shoulder and Regulus turned around on the bench, resting his back against the edge of the wooden table.
Vivien placed the bouquet on the bench. He looked between her and the flowers. She pointed her hand at them.
"What is this, Black?"
Regulus touched one of the flowers. He gazed at Vivien.
"A bouquet of flowers, I believe." He answered nonchalantly.
"Yes, I agree. Why did you send it?"
Regulusโ thick but perfectly-shaped brows knitted together.
"Why do you think I sent it?"
"I have only one secret admirer who misunderstood the secret part." Vivien accused him, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.
He's probably the only admirer I have at allโฆ
He smiled stupidly, proud of himself.
"So I stand out?"
"Why did you send it?" Vivienโs wild eyes hardened into a glareโuntamed like an earthquake.
"Because it's Valentine's Day." Regulus leaned his back against the table, folding his arms over his chest to match her attitude.
"So?" She asked oblivious and cageyโcatious to guard herself from more humiliations.
"You don't like them?" Her scepticism humoured Regulus. He smiled softly to see her fussiness.
"No, I do. Those are my favourites." Vivienโs behaviour did not indicate her words. She was emotionless.
She looked at Pandora, who beamed innocently.
"You are welcome." She mouthed.
Dorcas and Barty were smiling stupidly towards their plates, suppressing themselves from exploding into laughter like someone threw a Bombarda. Black's behaviour was obvious to anyone but oblivious Vivien. She ignored them, looking back at Regulus.
"I can't accept this thing. It's expensive."
He sighed, "The price is not an issue. I could buy you the whole valley of those. We both know you could buy the whole planet of them if it existed."
Vivien didn't give up.
"How did you get them? Depending on the species, they grow anytime of the year, but during winter."
Regulus sighed even louder than before, so dramatic, so theatricโso artistic in the agony life was to him, "Oh, I know. It was quite a work to keep them alive but with the help of magic-"
"You grew them?" Vivien squinted her eyes sharply. "Why would you do that?"
"You just said it yourself that they don't grow during the winter naturally."
"How did you get them?"
"Cassie's mother knows a florist."
"Which, by the way, these are native to Japan and the seeds were imported, so please don't throw them away, foxy." Dorcas mentioned, Vivien meeting her eyes for a split second.
"At least not in front of Cas' face." Evan added, glancing over his shoulder.
Vivienโs eyes rushed back to Regulus, charging like a wild erumpent.
"Why did you send them to me?"
"Because they are your favourites?"
"Fine, but why did you grow them for me?"
"Because I wanted to do something nice for you?"
"Why?"
"Because I like you?"
"Why?"
"Just because!" Regulus exclaimed, flustered with Vivien and her questions.
"That's not an argument, arseclown." She argued.
"But that's the truth, Vivien."
They kept eyeing each other until she rolled her eyes and crouched down in front of the bench to hug the bouquet to her chest. She straightened, smelling the flowers. It had a sweet smell. She almost let herself cherish it-
"Will I get a smile now?" Regulus asked, grinning seeing how her eyes nearly closed in silent pleasure.
"No." Vivien said emotionlessly and turned away. She began leaving, but she felt Regulus' eyes linger, following her.
"Thank you!"
Vivien bit her bottom lip, a grin creeping on her lips. She put the bouquet up to her mouth, so no one would notice how the corners of her lips quivered meaningfully.
Chapter 17: wand
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย If life was not meant to be punishment, why did Miss Beauchรชne feel like being alive was her detention? It felt like she was being punished whenever all of those looks followed her anywhere she went. She felt being spied onโsquinted on. She knew she was only being heavily talked about as she heard all those whispers behind her back.
She was feeling paranoid, walking through the Great Hall during breakfast on the first day back at the castle. Some might say it was a consequence of her own actions but it was all the rumours about her and Regulus Arcturus fucking Black coming back even louder after their official engagement announcement.
Vivien directed her steps towards the Hufflepuff table, searching for a specific person. For a split second, her eyes met the blueish eyes of the redhead boy. Angus Brennan, a year older Hufflepuff like Edgar. Someone I've used to know.
She swallowed, hesitantly looking away as she moved on. She found Edgar sitting with his friends, his back facing her. His friends quietened and Vivien yanked Bones' head to the back by his hair. She stood over him, his face was upside down.
"We have to talk." She said and he smirked.
"Whatever you wish, Fifi. Just don't hold me like this or I will break my spine standing up."
Vivien let go of his hair. Before he even stood up, she was already walking away towards a corner of the hall for some privacy. When Edgar caught up with her, she was near the entrance of the Great Hall. The issue was that other teenagers watched Vivien interact with her friend, but they would watch even harder if she left with him somewhere where there were no witnesses after everyone knew their friendship was not of an innocent kind.
Bones leaned his shoulder.
"What?" He asked nonchalantly with a glimmer in his blue eyes.
"Where is it?" She stared at him intensely.
"Where is what?"
"My wand."
"The one that you mastered perfectly is in my pants." Bones chuckled cockily at his own comment.
Vivien rolled her eyes.
"I need my wand, Edgar." She said,her tone serious, her brows arose.
"So no more Eddie?"
"Not when you annoy me."
"So it has nothing to do with the fact that you shag Regulus Black now?"
Vivienโs jaw slacked out of shock. She looked around erratically and frantically. She stared back at Edgar again.
"Who told you that?" She whisper-shouted.
"You did."
"I did not!" She fought back childishly, stomping her feet.
"You just did, Fifi. Laughably, it was you and not Black with his eyes all over you at all times." Edgar peeped behind Vivien and spoke, furrowing his eyebrows. "Even now! This boy has no respectโit's seven in the morning, and he's eating breakfast with his friends at the table!" He laid his hand at his heart, fakely scandalised by Regulus' shameful but shameless behaviour.
"This is not funny. Quit joking." Vivien complained.
"If you don't believe me, take a look for yourself."
Edgar and Vi eye-fought until she rolled her eyes. Without an effort to mask what she was doing, she looked towards the Slytherin table over her shoulder. When she looked at Regulus, he immediately gazed away. She saw beaming Evan Rosier. He waved his hand at her. She smiled at him. As she looked back at Edgar, her face wasnโt so soft. It was criticalโof him. She hit him on the shoulder.
"Is it an admission of guilt?" Bones cracked.
"If the guilt in question is murderous thoughts!"
"Don't be so shy now. We are still friends, and I'm not judging you, only teasing a little because you try so badly to act it off when you are the worst liar to ever walk this earth."
Vivien put her hands up around Edgar's neck, pretending to strangle him, making gibberish sounds of frustration.
"I hate you." She grumbled, throwing her hands in the air and letting them drop against her thighs with a deaf thud.
Edgar leaned close to Vivienโtoo closely for her preferences that she didn't know she had until then. He was like inside of me just yesterday! She knitted her brows together.
"You adore me, little cloud." He whispered, and Vivien felt his hand sneak to her back.
He pulled her wand out of her hair, straightening. He showed off the thing he was holding after his magic trick. He poked Vivien at the tip of her nose with it.
"And here is your wand. I always told you that you have to be more cautious about where you leave your possessions."
Vivien rolled her eyes and grabbed it, making him chuckle.
"Don't be so fussy, Fifi. Anger marries beauty, and you want to keep yours."
"If anger marries beauty, then you have to be a very angry person." Vivien snickered.
Edgar shoved her on the shoulder weakly. He glanced behind her and smirked proudly. It caused her to narrow her eyes, suspicious of him. She was about to turn around before he added his last words,
"Get out of my sight, you little devil".
Still he was the one to go away.
Vivien watched him leave for a solid second. She turned away, and her heart almost broke free out of her chest. Regulus just stopped in front of her, significantly close one to another. She glanced to the side, where Edgar glanced over his shoulder at her with a wink of his eye. Little bitch!
"Vivien." Regulusโ voice was emotionless.
"Regulus." She answered back, conflicted, her face cringed at the seriousness.
"How's your morning?"
Vivien shook her head, eyes closing, face cringing more.
"Wha-what is going on?" She looked at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you standing inside of me?"
"I'm not standing inside of you." Regulus smirked, smoothly leaning to her height. "Do you want me to stand inside of you?"
Merlin, save me from teenage boys!
"I didn't even eat anything yet..." She pushed Regulus away delicately, walking past him, trying not to deal with him.
He followed her with his hands shoved in the pockets of his trousers.
"What did you want from Bones?"
"Wand." Vivien put the thing in the air, waving it. "My wand, to be clear."
"Why did he have it?"
"We exchanged wands yesterdayโhe gave me his and I gave him mine." She grimaced but she was not lying at least in metaphorical meaning! "Do you want something from me, Regulus?" She changed the topic hurriedly, over her shoulder looking at him wandering after her like a puppy.
"Actually yes."
"Then, what is it?" Vivien spun around.
"Do you know something about me being called a needy whore?" Regulus tilted his head to the side.
Vivien's mouth tightened funnily. She shook her head.
"No?" His eyebrows lifted.
"No." She agreed.
"So it wasn't you to call me that into Alecto's face and in front of my housemates." He didn't sound madโrather interested in what was going through Vivien's head at that moment.
He was acting cool. Regulus was always so cool! What a fucking oasis of serenity!
Vi scoffed.
"Regulus, I swear upon my family's graves I would never call you a whore."
"You wouldn't?"
Vivien looked him up and down judgingly like her next words were obvious.
"You have too little sexual experience for that." She turned away boredly, walking away again, knowing he would keep up with her. "I did call you a little slut, but I never called you a whore. Tell Evan if he wants to quote me, he has to do better than this because this one could create misunderstanding between us."
Vivien felt Regulus catch her wand from her hand. She faced him.
"I would not mind being called whore as long as it's you calling me it into my face, Vi." Regulus had such an angelic face, talking about the dirtiest things, humoured and self-satisfied.
Vivien's brain malfunctioned like an old machinery, the turbines not clicking. Her lips opened, every cell of her processing what he had said. The corners of Regulusโ mouth quirked mischievously. Vivien closed her eyes to understand.
"Do you ask me to fuck you into being a whore? I haven't eaten breakfast yetโI don't have strength for this."
"You did worse than this, didn't you, Vi?"
She folded her arms over her chest.
"What is it all about, Regulus? Is it-is it because I talked with Edgar, and you are upset with me now? I know you don't like him for some reason, but he's my friend and I needed my wan-"
"Do I look like I'm upset with you?" He interrupted her.
Vivienstudied him. Regulus appeared to be perfectly fine. Maybe he was simply in the mood to provoke her a little.
"No, you don't look upset to me." She responded sincerely.
"Exactly. I'm making sure I'm still your best friend."
Vivien grinned widely. He's trying to attract my attention!, without thinking she threw herself on him.
"Of course, you are, Rebulus!" She assured him, secretly kissing him on the neck, her cheek on his shoulder.
Regulus smiled sweetly, hugging her. She was such an airhead, but what a cute airhead.
They parted slightly and their eyes locked. They gazed at each other in silence, the voices a whisper in the back of their heads. Regulusโ eyes rounded, darkening with how his pupils dilated. His irises flickered gently. It caused Vivien to suck her belly in, out of hormones and nerves. She felt that mysterious enchantment between her and Regulus. She wanted to bring him closer to her and-
They heard someone clear their throat. They peeled away from each other entirely. Vivien saw James standing behind Regulus. She scoffed dramatically and Regulus faced Potter, intrigued with her reaction.
"What do you want?" Vivien said snappily.
"Talk." James claimed neutrallyโlike they were on a neutral ground and not on one going through an earthquake.
"Suddenly everyone wants to talk." She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head in disbelief.
Potter took a step forward,
"I am really sorry about what happened yesterday and everything that happened before yesterday, fine? We really didn't mean to insult you or use you, but you never communicated that we were overstepping some lines-"
"So you assumed that it was fine to treat Vivien like a toy and not the person that she is?" Regulus cut in, his voice edged at the audacity, his eyebrows raising.
"I'm not talking to you, Black."
"Let him talk, Regulus." Vivien tightened her fists and both of the boys looked at her.
"You heard herโlet me talk." James smirked sarcastically, staring at younger Black.
As he looked back at Vivien, his face eased. Regulus glanced at the watch on his wrist, wondering how much longer?
"We did try to tell you what happenedโwe just didn't know how because we knew you were so hurt-"
Vivien stopped listening to James while he drove on his spiral of stupidity to do anything but admit he did something shitty and own his faults. James was not always like that but he and Vivien had drifted away somewhat since last year, and he was not handling it properly. She could not understand his hostility towards her.
I was honest, and somehow I am the one in the wrong? Vivien looked around as he was gesticulating, absorbed with his own not-apologies. She looked at the table and saw two clean plates and two cups of fresh pumpkin juice. She grasped one of those cups. Regulus saw her doing it out of the corner of his eyes, smirking to himself.
"Right, you are only seventeenโyou couldn't know I deserved better." She nodded her head at whatever James said.
"Exactly-!" He nodded his head in agreement with her.
Vivien was being sarcastic, but this is how much Potter had listened to her in the last few months. She splashed the juice over him. Some students chortled like frogs, and the professors present at their table remained seated.
But James Potter stopped, stupified.
"What was that for?"
Regulus looked away from his watch and chuckled quietly.
"The issue is that I'm sixteen and somehow I know I deserve better." Vivien gritted through her teeth. "Even now you have not listened to me. You want to talk but when I say something, you don't listen! I've already told you all to talk with the fucking wall, you piece of shite! It will be a familiar experience for you."
Jamesโs face reddened, revealing his embarrassment. He took off his glasses and cleaned them with his sleeve.
"That will be five points from Ravenclaw." He mumbled under his nose, causing her hand to tighten around the cup.
Vivien cracked a desperate laugh, glancing at Regulus.
"Did you fucking hear him?"
"Unfortunately, the whole time." He answered, but he could not stop the proud smile that triumphally sculpted on his mouth.
Vivien looked back at Potter, her eyes wild and harsh. She took the other cup from the table and stepped forward.
"Make it ten because-" She spilled the juice over his head, standing up on her toes. She let both cups drop to the ground.
She marched past Potter, elbowing him.
Regulus observed her, satisfied. James stared after her, and as if she felt his eyes on her, she turned around, walking backwards.
"I don't give a shite about points! You might take all you want and put them up your fucking ass! Maybe it will make you speechless for the first time in your life!" She put her middle finger up in the air before storming out of the Great Hall.
Some students clapped their hands at the show they had watched. After Vi left, Potter faced younger Black and his smirk.
"You owe me now that I let you talk."
"Shut up." Said James, taking off his glasses to wipe them and his face again.
Regulus was about to walk away from him too but beforeโhe laid one hand on James' shoulder and patted him.
"Good job, mate. I don't think Vi ever splashed anything on me so fast. That was quite an impressive record."
And he walked away arrogantly, leaving Potter alone, drowning in pumpkin juice.
James looked towards his friends sitting at the Gryffindor table. Normally, they would laugh, but not that time.
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ย ย ย ย ย After Vivien went for breakfast with elves in the kitchen, she returned to her room for her school bag and slowly wandered towards the Divination classroom. The classroom was colourful as the sun shone through the stained glass, making everything look etherealโeven the dust flying in the air.
But it didn't soothe Vivien. She felt lostโeven more than on her first day at Hogwarts four years ago. When she stood at the entrance of the class, some heads snapped towards her. Usually, she would sit with Zahara but she had given up on that course the previous semester and didn't pass her O.W.L. from that class.
Sybie was already sitting with Galen Clearwater she had sat with in all previous semesters, and they were in the middle of a very lively discussion. Trelawney was showing him something in her Divination book. Vivien stood, looking around, thinking about what she was going to do?
Alecto and one of her peasants snickered at Vivien searching for an answer with her head spinning and thoughts running. Just move, you stupid cunt., she repeated to herself, but it did not help her. She dug her nails into the inner sides of her hands-
"Pspspspsp!" Someone made a sound that caught her ears.
She glanced around in search of a source of the noise. Barty laid with his chin on his arms that were placed on the table. At the table beside sat Pandora and Evan. They were all smiling at Vivien. She narrowed her eyes sharply like two arrows and walked towards their tables connecting into one big shape of an infinity symbol.
"What was that?"
"I'm not sure how to lure a fox, but I guess the cat method works just fine. Now, sit." Barty smirked and pointed with his eyes at the free chair next to him.
Vivien looked at him and the two other teenagers uncertainly.
"Are you sure?"
"I am but I don't know why you are not, foxy."
She sat down, abashed, the three observing her.
"What?" She asked quietly, her cheeks glowing pink because of all the attention.
"Little Miss shy?" Pandora said theatrically with her hand on her heart. "Can't be! The world must be falling apart!"
"No need to be so shy out of nowhere, Vivien." Barty nudged her playful.
"Leave me alone!" Although she whined, she was smiling, hiding her face in her hands.
Pandora beamed lightly. She leaned in her chair towards her to rip her hands away from her face delicately.
"We cannot see you blush in this light, Vivien."
"Don't challenge the little foxโshe had a rough morning." Evan chuckled.
Pandora clapped her hands enthusiastically.
"It reminds me," She moved a napkin with a piece of brownie wrapped in it towards Vivien. "This is for you. Regulus said you like them but you left the Great Hall before you even had some."
Vivien looked between her and brownie. Vivien actually had two pieces of brownie already but she didn't mind one more. She smiled sweetly.
"Thank you, Rora."
"I also tried to pack some tea but napkins kept leaking." Pandora joked, making everyone laugh.
Her nose crinkled cutely.
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ย ย ย ย ย When Divination ended, Pandora left for the library, leaving Vivien, Barty, and Evan on their own. They wandered towards the Muggle Studies classroom.
"I'm quite surprised you take Muggle Studies, Evan." Vivien commented, Rosier and Crouch Jr. sitting down on her both sides at the desk.
She looked at Evan as he did at her with a dry chuckle.
"I actually signed up as a joke back in the third year."
"Don't be so humble, Rosier." Barty said, and Vivien furrowed her eyebrows at him. He leaned towards her ear, whispering into it. "It was his highest grade on O.W.L.s."
Vivien immediately turned and looked at him, making sure she heard him right. He nodded, smiling. She beamed radiantly and gazed at Evan, her face excited, her smile happy.
"Really?"
"Outstanding." He admitted quietly and laconically, his cheeks flushing.
Vivien hopped up in her chair and threw herself at him.
"That's amazing!"
He snorted and she squeezed him stronger. Her mind was refreshed, and she immediately parted away from Rosier.
"Do you remember that weird standing thing that muggle mom swung her kid on? The one that we watched from my window?"
Evan nodded his head.
"I convinced Regulus' parents to let us out for some time and I took Eden to that thing. It was so fun!"
"How does it feel to play on it?" Evan asked because bothโhe and Vivienโwere quite intrigued by that thing back in the Black family residence.
"It felt like sitting on the broom for the first time, when your parents pushed you up to float a little but safe."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien forgot about the morning incident with Potter. She entered the Great Hall with her hands hooked around Barty's and Evan's biceps in a great mood. They walked towards two girls at the Slytherin table. Pandora and Dorcas smiled, but Meadowes' brows pinched together, amused at them, not expecting such a view.
"Hi," Vivien grinned, sitting down on the opposite side of the table from the girls. The boys sat on her both sides again.
"Foxy," Dorcas sang melodical, grinning with her whole face. "What an honour to have you here with us. Thank you for humbling James. Little shite has been on my nerves for some time now."
A candle in Vivien's mind lit.
"Right. He is your cousin, isn't he?" She tilted her head.
"His great-great grandpa was the brother of my great-great-great grandma, which I don't know what makes him expect to be relatively annoying."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was cackling with Cassie, Panda, Evan, and Barty like a choir of toads when Regulus approached them. He smiled seeing Vi surrounded by his friends, even though he would be more pleased if it was Dorcas and Pandora that she sat between and not Evan and Barty. First Bones, then his own friends!
Regulus' head appeared over Vivien's shoulder.
"Oh hi," She welcomed, smiling radiantly.
"What is going on?" He looked around at everyone, and Evan moved a little on the bench to the side, giving him some space.
"We are trying to domesticate Vivien by showing her that we are not as dangerous as we look." Dorcas winked at Vi, who bit on her grin.
"Oh, yeah, nah, they are not as dangerous as they seem." She agreed, nodding her head.
Regulus kept smiling, seeing her in such high-spirits.
"What?" She asked.
Black was gazing at her so gently and his dimples snuck on his innocent face.
"Nothing."
Their friends shared subtle glances, the pair gazing at each other so intensely.
"Are they abou-"
Pandora began mouthing to the rest until Regulus leaned closer to Vi. He caused Vivien's heart to hammer in her chest a second time that day. He lowered himself to her height, their noses brushing against each other. She put her hand on his neck, pulling him into her willingly. She needed that closeness to convince herself that it was all real and she was alright.
Regulus kissed her slowly and she responded as slowly. They felt each other's smiles against their lips when they danced to the same rhythm. Regulus separated and Vivien's hand travelled to his cheek to caress it.
"Your wand." He whispered and he placed the thing down in front of her. She glanced at it, and her nose scrunched. She looked back at him. She completely forgotโshe left it in his hand during breakfast.
"Thank you." Regulus gave Vi a kiss on the forehead and moved away to take his seat beside Barty.
Vivien felt students gawking at the scene they just witnessedโespecially Regulus' friends' eyes which nearly fell out of their orbits at the sight of them both kissing seconds ago.
"What?"
Evan Rosier rolled his eyes and they landed at the wand his best friend put down at the table. It wasn't typical. That wand was painted! He took it in his hand. Barty, Cassie, and Rora looked between him and the wand. Cassieโs mouth opened, startled. Vivien's wand was painted white with tiny flowers everywhere. The flowers had lilac, pastel pink, and baby blue petals. Colour palette that any eleven-year-old girl would choose and Vivien still loved it five years later.
"Did you paint it yourself?" Asked Meadowes, stretching out on the table towards Rosier to look at the thing closely too.
"I didn't like the colour of the wood." Vivien nodded softly.
Of course!, everyone thought to themselves. Vivien could be the only person to paint her wand because the colour was ugly and did not become her wand's worst nemesis.
"What wood is your wand made out of?"
"Oak." Vivien put Black Cat potato crisps in her mouth, glancing at Regulus' friends fascinated with her wand.
"If Ollivander ever saw it, he would have a heart attack." Barty chuckled, pointing his fork at the thing.
"Who's Ollivander?" Vivienโs head tilted.
They all looked at her and then it hit them.
"Right, little Miss France. Ollivander is a British wandmaker. A very good one, by the way."
"I heard he won the title of 'the best one in the world' last year." Pandora mentioned.
"A wandmaker?" Vivien looked lost between everyone.
Regulus glanced at her over Barty. He frowned like everyone else.
"Fabricant de baguette?"
Vivien tilted her head, not understanding. She understood what he saidโhe spoke French perfectlyโbut she didn't understand the meaning of the term he used.
"Why would anyone fabricate wands?"
Cassie squinted her eyes at her. "To sell them."
"To sell them?!" Vivienโs eyes widened as she repeated, outraged.
"Vi, where did you get your wand from?"
"What are you talking about? Where did I get my wand from? Poe made it for me!" She said it as if it was supposed to be well-known information.
"A house elf made your wand?!" Evan sounded demented.
Vivien liked neither the words he spoke or the tone he used.
"No! Elf did!" She grabbed the wand from his hand.
What? Wait-were Beauchรชne's house elves homeless? Rosier scratched the back of his neck, confused. No, they couldn't be! The only kind Beauchรชne couldn't stand the sight of was mankind!
Cassie kicked Evan under the table.
"Sorry, it was an insensitive choice of words." Rosier apologised, still stupified.
"It was!" Vi whisper-shouted, hugging her wand to her chest like she was protecting her baby.
"So Vivien," Pandora grinned at her ridiculous reaction.
"Does your wand have a core?" She changed the subject, wondering if her wand was any different from the one she had bought from the professional at wand-making.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows.
"Why wouldn't it have a core? I don't think it would work without it."
"So what core do you have?"
"Pegasus' wingfeather." Everyone looked at her, astonished. She sighed, "What now?"
"What is a pegasus?"
Vivien beamed lightly. She could tell them something interesting they hadn't heard about before! They all saw how she radiated happily at Cassie's question. Meadowes smiled, seeing golden sparks lit up in Vivien's green irises. She clapped her hands together.
"So a pegasus is horse-alike like a unicorn, but instead of a horn, it has wings. Kind of like a hippogriff, but horse-looking. Naturally, they live in Greece mostly on islands. They love water as much as they love air and flying. Believing the ancient Greeks, the first stallion ever born was sired by Poseidon."
They let her tell them everything she knew about those aethonansโor horsus-thing she described them to be. None dared to mention how Poe-the-elf managed to make a wand with other cores than the only four known to them. That would probably make Vivien livid after she found out they had bought their wands.
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ย ย ย "Vivien here!" Pandora called her.
Vivien was wandering around Hogwarts' grounds with a book in her hand, looking for a place for herself. It was a sunny afternoon, sunshines stroking her face, breeze brushing her hair.
She was searching for a spot to read silently, but there were a lot of students outside enjoying the last summer days and their weekend. It was one of a very few weekends during the whole school year without a tonne of homework they all would drown in soon.
The group of friends was resting on two big blankets under a tree. Pandora had laid her back against Dorcas' curled legs, while Evan's head rested on her thighs. Dorcas sat with her back against the tree, while she was braiding the long blonde hair of Pandora. Barty lay with his head on his bag, his eyes covered with his arms. Regulus sat near Dorcas in a similar position to hers, with a book in his laps.
"Vivia?" Dorcas asked as Vivien was coming closer to the group. She thought she missed a bit during her summer, but it was bigger than a bit. It was a lot.
"I don't think Vivien wants company." Regulus murmured over his book.
"That's alright. If she doesn't, she will tell us." Pandora claimed.
Vivien smiled, approaching them all.
"Hi Rora," She waved her hand, standing over the group.
"Rora?" Dorcas repeated again and got ignored again.
Regulus and Evan glanced at each other, surprised at the affection between two girls being mutual. Pandora never complained about Vivien as her dormmate, but Vivien never seemed to be open to such a fondness ever before with her.
"Hi." Warmer than the sun, Miss Malfoy beamed, her teeth shining brightly.
"Hi Evan, Hi Barty, Hi Rebulus," Vivien kept waving her hand, listing.
Regulus bowed his head, and Evan waved back.
"Hi foxy," Barty mumbled out.
Vivien kept going, "Hi Dorcas."
"I don't mean to sound mean, but I think I missed something. When did we befriend foxy? I don't mindโI simply wish someone would let me know so I could come prepared too." Dorcas furrowed her eyebrows.
Vivien falls to her knees on the edge of one of the blankets.
"I actually don't know when they decided that." She took a minute to think. "They all just happened. Like... Poof." She gesticulated as if she was charming with her hands.
"It was a long summer for some of us." Regulus added.
"Agreed." Pandora, Barty, and Evan commented at once.
Vivien observed the group in silence, hesitant. Though Regulus was reading his book, she saw him glance at her.
Black noticed how indecisive Vi had been since the announcement of their arranged engagement. Summer was meant to rest, but she undeniably felt overwhelmed. She needed a real summer after her summer.
Vivien looked down at her own book, wondering if she should stay or leave.
"So what is it that you are reading?" Evan pointed his finger at her lecture.
"A book." She answered shortly.
"That I can tell." He snorted.
"What is it about this book that you are reading it so much?" Pandora glanced at the book, her eyes shining tooโout of curiosity towards Vivienโs book.
"I like it." Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
"At first I thought I was crazy seeing you read it the whole time, but I realised you were crazy about this book." She smiled.
Regulus closed his book, looking at her.
"So she is reading that book over and over again."
"She is, Regulus." Pandora giggled, nodding.
"Why didn't you ask for another book, Vi? I could give you something else." Regulus gazed at Vi.
She furrowed her eyebrows at him, annoyed.
"But I like this one."
"She said she likes that one."
Vivien and Evan commented at the same time, emphasising angrily.
Vivien laid her hand on his leg, petting him.
"Thank you, Evan." She said firmly, glad to have someone understand that.
Pandora saw how Regulus looked at Vivien's hand on his best friend's thigh. Although neither of the two thought anything dirty out of it, Regulus was jealous. Pandora looked at Vivien, tilting her head.
"Can I take a look?"
Vivien nodded her head. Her hand moved to the book and she handed it to her. Pandora took it and brushed her fingers against the cover. Dorcas looked over her shoulder at the title.
"Frankenstein." She smiled. "I loved it."
"You read it, Cas?" Pandora glanced at her over her shoulder.
"Yes."
"Really?" Vivien's eyes widened and flickered in excitement.
"Yes."
Vivien clapped her hands together.
"On three, what do you think about it? One, two, three-"
"Victor Frankenstein was the problem."
"Victor Frankenstein was the problem."
Vi squealed, "Oh Merlin! I think you are my new favourite person."
"That was quick." Barty chuckled, placing his hands away from his face and under his head.
"Do you know that the author, Mary Shelley, kept her husband's heart after his death?"
Vi had a spot for historical facts, even if they were insignificant, and everyone knew it.
"I didn't! Did she really?" She was clearly astonished, getting energised, her exhaustion disappearing.
"She did." Dorcas lit up her spark all over again.
"I want to do that." She claimed dreamingly.
Everyone but Regulus laughed.
"Good luck, mate." Evan wished him, causing him to roll his eyes.
They have a point. Regulus was supposed to be Vivien's husband. Vi was joking, but she stood up and took a big step over Rosier's body who put his hands over his crotch, afraid she would kick or step on him clumsily. But Vivien landed on her ass in front of Regulus, her legs in the shape of a letter w. She had pure big eyes. He tilted his head.
"Regulus, can I do this?" She tried to be positive about the situation they found themselves in and make the best of itโhave some laugh and fun out of it.
Regulus looked to the side at Dorcas.
"Did the author kill her husband?"
"No, he drowned when sailing on the boat."
Regulus looked back at Vivien in front of him.
"Sure. You can do this, Vi." He smiled.
"Book away, Regulus." She demanded, and he placed his lecture to the side.
Vivien shoved herself between Regulus' legs, resting her back against his torso. She took his hands in hers and embraced herself with them. She hugged her cheek to his biceps. Regulus did not mind that at all. They closed their eyes, satisfied with the position they were in. No one teased Vi directly about her behaviour but Barty half-smiled deviously.
"Are you sure you want to pickle Regulus' heart and not something else?"
"What for example?" She murmured with her eyes closed, Regulus holding her.
"His co-"
Evan chuckled.
"Bartemius Crouch Junior!" Pandora scolded, making Dorcas laugh at her mother-like behaviour. Regulus opened his one eye to glare at Barty.
"I'm just playing!" Crouch Jr. rolled his eyes.
Only after some time of silence, Vivien figured out why Barty got scolded.
"I could pickle jar Regulus' cock for you, if you wanted to have it." She said, airhead, no thoughts in her head, only rustling wind and leaves.
"I would like that. Thank you." Crouch Jr. half-smiled.
Evan and Dorcas cracked. Pandora bit her lips to not let anything escape from her mouth.
"Please, don't give Barty anything of me after my death." Regulus opened his eyes, glancing down at Vivien.
She felt his grey irises on her, and she opened her eyes to gaze up at him.
"Can I give it to Evan then?"
"Why would I want any of Regulus' body parts?" Rosier interrupted with knitted-together brows.
"Why wouldn't you want one of them?" Vivien narrowed her eyes at him.
"Fair point." Evan agreed, seeing her close to snapping if he protested again.
"Please, stop trading my body parts and organs with our friends." Whined Regulus.
Our friends?, Vi cuddled herself tighter in Regulus' arms, which made him melt into her.
"Shhh, Regulus, don't weep around." She murmured at him to silence him.
She gazed at the two girls then,
"So, Cas, Rora, what gut of Regulus would you like to have? Of course, if my doll is first to go out of you all."
She began leaving small kisses on Regulusโ jaw.
"Very thoughtful consideration of you. Thank you, Vi." He smirked sarcastically, though he cherished the few sweet kisses she gave him, melting more.
"Always." Vivien grinned.
Dorcas kicked Evan on the shoulder with her feet, knowing he spent the most time with the couple during summer.
"Are they always like this?"
The couple looked at her judgingly with raised brows.
Passing the group, Rosaire heard the opportunity to shite-talk.
"Usually even worse, which, by the way, is gross!" He yelled.
Vivien groaned, staring at her younger brother's back, when he walked somewhere with his girl-friends.
"Oh, fuck off, Rosie!"
"Love you too, sissy!" He exclaimed, and she knew he was grinning from his tone.
She made gibberish sounds of frustration.
"Worse?" Evan thought of what he heard with a concentrated face. He looked at the young couple.
The couple shrugged their shoulders and went back to embracing each other, softly breathing and voyaging in the oceans of their thoughts.
Those two fuckers! Evan squinted his eyes at them, making his other friends chuckle.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien, Sybill, Emmeline, Zahara, and Edgar had sat in the abandoned classroom on the fourth floor.
"Montrose Magpies literally won the League Cup over twenty times, Bones!" Edgar threw a crisp into Emmeline's face, bantering with her about quidditch.
"It's not that deep. I just think Pride of Portree is cooler. Magpies have just had a lot of luck these past few seasons. If it wasn't for Rainwood, they wouldn't be shite." She resonated nonchalantly with a smile.
Meanwhile, Pandora and Barty entered the classroom. Pandora was flaring through her nose like a dragon. She glanced at Vivien, who was already sitting at the window, away from the rest.
"Now I know why Regulus always takes those hilariously-huge steps when he walks after you." She panted, and everyone glanced at Vivien looking her up and down.
Pandora and Barty came closer to the circle that was forming.
Vivien wondered if their hang-out would be awkward after Amy and Frank graduated from school with McKinnon not being invited around anymore. No one mentioned it but every one of Vivien's mates was well-informed about what Marlene did to Vivien with Sirius. That it was them two to start that disgusting rumour about her and Regulus.
"Vivien, will you join us?" Vivien heard her name, staring outside the window, zoned out in her thoughts. She turned her head and saw Z beside her, holding her hand out. "Join us."
Vivien accepted the offer and took Zahara's hand. They marched to the group in the corner of the old classroom. Vivien sat between Zahara and Pandora, both sitting on their heels in their dresses.
Zahara and Pandora were such opposites in every way, despite them both being very feminine and coming from conservative families. Starting with their beauties, Zahara had bronze skin, dark brown hair and warm eyes. Pandora had pale skin, platinum hair, and blueish eyes.
And their styles, consisting only of dresses, couldn't be any different. Zahara wore a lot of dresses from past decades in vivid colours. Pandora dressed a lot in what reminded Vivien of the costumes that she could see in a theatre during a play. Her clothes were outdated not by decades but by a century. They were in dull colours. Still, the two seemed to embrace their styles gracefully.
Eddie sat with his legs straight, savouring his crisps. Beside him sat Sybie with her legs folded, painting her nails. With her sat Em holding her quidditch magazine. And beside Pandora was Barty with his legs folded and his chin in his hand.
He was the first to speak his mind,
"About Regulusโwhat is going on between you two?" His eyes narrowed at Vivien, sceptical. "That's not how I left you at the banquet. I mean tension was already there, but-"
"Tension was always there." Everyone said it like a choir, making Vi furrow her eyebrows. What tension?
Barty nodded his head.
"True. Tension was always there, but they definitely were not there like this. Foxy definitely was not like this."
Why are they so united about that mysterious tension? Vivien glanced between everyone.
"Like what? What are you talking about?"
"Like acting as if you're in love with Black." Emmeline claimed while she had her face buried in her quidditch magazine that had started her and Edgar's dispute.
"We know this engagement is arranged." Sybill acknowledged the erumpent in the room, painting her nails a sea-green colour.
"And I'm not in love with Regulus Black." Added Vivien.
"But he is in love with you." Trelawney peeped at her out of the corners of her eyes.
"We are just friends." Vivien dismissed.
"Just friends?" Pandora erupted, and her laughter spill with laughters of others.
"Best friends!" Vivien emphasised.
She was so oblivious!
"Are you just best friends the same way we used to be?" Edgar quirked an eyebrow, and Vivien reddened at the insinuation.
Everyone looked at her.
Bones already knew the truth, and he would tease her about it. Vivien was gullible for thinking she could separate her and Regulus' feelings like objects and organise them in boxesโand hide the ugly onesโthe feelings she found uncomfortable and confusing. Everyone else saw how Vivien's cheeks glowed pink.
Zahara's mouth opened in surprise, "You little fox!" She slapped her best friend on the shoulder. "You are slutting out the little prude and you didn't tell me!" She scoffed, insulted that there had been a secret between them.
"Shush!" Vivien's eyes widened and she looked out of the corner of her eyes at everyone else.
Emma rolled her eyes. Rora raised her eyebrows. Sybie, Barty, and Eddie cracked a laugh. Vivien, darling, you were the oblivious one, not the rest! Regulus' jealousy, glances they shared, not-so-subtle kisses they gave each other, how they kept abusing each other's personal spaces without discomfort. And it was just the third day of school!
"We are just friends! We support each other the best we can, fine?!" Vivien argued, her arms folded over her chest neatly, her nose raising highly in the air. "Like keeping eyes on each other!"
"Yes, Regulus certainly keeps his eyes on you." Edgar mused, amused.
Vivien turned red like the garnet she wore. She wasn't ashamed or embarrassedโshe was simply mousy about being at the centre of attention on such an intimate topic. But she couldn't lie. She missed having someone to talk about hormonal shite. She couldn't go and talk to Regulus about how Regulus was in bed. Or tell Regulus how she got into Regulus' bedโhe was there to witness it!
"He does, doesn't he?" Vivien asked playfully, a proud smile sneaking on her mouth. It was sweet to have a boy observe her. Not a boy. The boy. Her former nemesis and her newest best friend.
Pandora squealed, looking at Zahara in understanding.
"Say it." Malfoy and Hassani spoke together, poking Vivien at ribs with their fingers.
Vivien covered her face with her hands.
"I slept with Regulus!" Her words were muffled like a mouse behind the broom. She was excited to have someone to gossip with about wild shite.
They are all my friends, aren't they?
They were.
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ย ย ย ย ย By Monday, Vivien felt so much betterโso confident about the new semester.
It was perfectly fineโฆ until she was walking downstairs alone in some corridor, looking through things in her bag. She was searching for her wand. Again.
Out of nowhere, she was met with the last person she dreamed of meeting.
"Vivien!" She faced Nolan O'Sullivan's.
His lips twisted poisonously with his fake warm welcome. His sight made her nauseous.
He stood in front of her on a lower stair, blocking her way. She stared at him.
"What do the fuck you want?" She sighed tiredly, her eyebrows raising, her faรงade cool.
"That's how you welcome an old friend?" His eyebrows raised too. He tilted his head.
"Oh, excuse me, but if I welcomed you properly as you deserve, it would cost me a few years in detention at best, Nolan." She smiled sweetly at him.
"Glad to hear you didn't lose the spark that makes you so bright." He mocked.
Vivien rolled her eyes.
"Glad to see you didn't lose the stick in your ass that makes you so stiff."
She wanted to push past him, elbowing himโbut he grabbed her arm strongly. He yanked her, making them stand face to face. Vivien stood on the same stair he was standing on.
She looked at him with big round eyes. He glared at her, his teeth gritted, his jaw tight, and so was his hand around her wrist. He directed his glare at Vivien's hand that he was holding. He looked at her engagement band and laughed bitterly, his lips twisting.
Vivien tried to keep her face neutral, but it is her eyes that are a mirror of the soul, and hers widened at the sight of him so close to her. Her attempts at staying cool were for nothing because she and Nolan knew that if there was someone that she was terrified ofโit was him. He leaned closer to her and she turned her face away from him, closing her eyes. She tasted a sour taste in her mouth, sick to her stomach.
"Beautiful ring? From Black, isn't it? Is it all that you needed to be sold, you little slag?" Nolan snarled into her ear.
She glanced out of the corner of her eyes at him. His head rolled to the other side in amusement at her innocence.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Are you scared now? That's why you're not so scary anymore?" He taunted.
Vivien felt Nolan's eyes scanning her figure up and down like she was a toy in his hands. He was intimidating herโhow confident he was invading her personal space and body like it was his own.
"You hopped on another cockโjust like I made you on mineโdidn't you? Oh, you did! I've been wonderingโhave you ever gotten dรฉjร vu when you were on Potter's or Bones's? Or now on Black's? Maybe that's why you change them so often. Or is it because you get changed after they realise you are just an ordinary teenage slag? That's what always happens, doesn't it? Little Black fell for you, thinking you were so special. Poor boy needs a little bit more womanโs touch, and he will realise that you are the girl that anyone can have. That you are whore seeking attention." His voice was low, and his whisper was harsh.
Nolan put his sharp finger to Vivien's cheek and stroked it. She flinched.
The words that he spoke repulsed her. She could taste bile rising in her throat. He smirked and she backed her head away slightly from his touch with her eyes full of tears. He was enjoying the fact that he was terrorising Vivien enough that she could not run away. She was truly petrified.
Nolan was enjoying the fact that he was terrorising Vivien enough that her instinct told her not to move because, without fighting, it would be less agonising, quicker to end, or easier to forget. But it was not.
Yet, Vivien's brain told her it was safer to not fight. She stood there with that evil boy in that corridor, even though something inside of her body screamed to do somethingโanything.
She felt guilty as if it was her fault for not asking him to stop anymoreโlike she was the bad one for letting him sicken her with his words. But she was so terrified of what he would do, if she didn't let him talk. She simply looked into his eyes with her teary, twitching ones. They were darkโso dark brown they were nearly black. Her lips fell and she rolled them into her mouth.
"Don't worry. Black will realise that you are not capable of more than fucking, but after some time even that will not be that special anymore when you get completely used out down there from all that cock-riding you do, my flower."
Evan, Barty, and Dorcas were walking by and they heard Nolan's voice coming from the side corridor. Blood in their veins boiled.
"What the fuck did you just say to her?!"
Vivien felt two boys approach her and Nolan. Barty pushed O'Sullivan, causing him to free Vivien as he collapsed to the floor.
"Don't fucking touch her." Evan snapped, standing over him.
Nolan smirked playfully.
"What? You two are next in line after Black?" He slowly got up, dusting himself off, humoured.
"To beat the shit out of you? Actually we're first at the moment." Barty grabbed him by the collar of his button-up.
Vivien stood there in the middle of the mess, everyone's words were echoing in her ears.
"What is the meaning of all of this? Mister Crouch? Miss Meadowes?" She recognised Professor Flitwick's voice coming from down the stairs.
And she felt someone lay their hands on her shoulders.
Dorcas wasn't sure how to help Vivien, who seemed to be petrified in place. She stood there, unmoving. She was paralysed from shock. Or, worse, the horror that that boy caused her. Meadowes felt so bad, unable to imagine the terror that a person had to feel for their body to act like their life depended on not fighting against it. Dorcas ignored the professor and stepped up in front of Vivien to make her focus on her.
"Are you alright, Vivien?" Vivien saw Cassie, but she could not speak out. Her voice was stuck in her throat beneath all the bile. If she opened her mouth, she would puke. She nodded her head instead, trying to act as nothing had happened and her eyes weren't overflowing with tears.
Flitwick was alarmed that his favourite one was not alright once he looked between everyone.
"Miss Beauchรชne?"
Vivien closed her eyes to inhale a deep, stable breath.
"I just have to go to Transfiguration. I-" She stuttered nervously under an unstable breath out. "I can't be late. Last year I was on thin ice with Professor McGonagall because of it."
"Us too. We'll walk together." Dorcas looked to the side at the professor, matching Vivien's act to not scare her out.
Flitwick nodded his head. Vivien was the first to move. She almost ran downstairs, passing him and quickly walking away. Her friends followed after her.
"O'Sullivan, you will go with me." Vivien heard Flitwick say.
"Of course, Professor." He responded with his polite tone that made her even sicker.
Vivien walked ahead of her friends, passing students with her head low. She wanted to cry so badly. At first, she didn't. The sky did. It was sprinkling as she was on her path.
Stupid!,stupid!,stupid!, she repeated to herself, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She really convinced herself that she could get cosy at Hogwarts because three days didn't go fully into shite. Well, fourth just did! And she was not at home! She didn't have a home anymore. She couldn't stop herself anymore and sobbed.
She walked past Regulus and Pandora whom she didn't notice with her hidden face.They turned after her and saw their friends following her. Vivien took a seat at the desk, placed away in the back. Regulus caught Evan softly by his elbow, and he stopped in his tracks.
"What happened?"
"Sullivan happened." Rosier answered laconically.
Everyone looked at Black. Regulus ran his hand through his hair and glanced at sobbing Vivien. She sat there with her head lowered. She didn't even place away the bag that was hanging from her shoulder.
"We heard the final part and what he said-"
"I will sit with Vi."
He didn't want to hear the things that that dirt of the person told Vi unless she felt the need to share them!
Evan nodded his head and Barty and Dorcas let Regulus pass. Pandora observed Regulus and Vivien. She would gaze at them secretly over her shoulder the whole class, biting her nails nervously.
Vivien heard light steps growing louder and someone moving a chair beside hers.
Regulus sat down in it, and his bag hit the ground. It made her flinch and Regulus scowled himself for his carelessness. She kept watching her hands, playing with her fingers and rings. She didn't feel pressured by him to interact. He laid his arms on the wooden desk and his chin on them. He was looking at her silently, and his eyes were kind to herโnot violent like Nolan's were.
She felt safe with Regulusโ and her personal spaces blending into a large one that they shared together. She knew she presented ugly with her red cheeks, pink nose, glassy eyes, and glued-together lashes, but she looked up at Regulus.
"Hi," She whispered, her voice dry, her throat sore.
"Hi," Regulus smiled sadly at the view she was, his heart aching.
Vivien was so devastated, and there was nothing he could do to relieve her. He wanted to hold her hand. When she saw him reach for her, she moved the chair away from him and further to the side
"I don't wish to be touched." She blurred out and he stopped himself.
Vivien unpacked her bag, preparing for the class, pretending what she just did didn't happen at all.
She took out her wand mechanically out of the pocket of her robe as if it was coded in her brain, only when she was unconscious of it. She closed her eyes in disbelief. She wanted to cry out the whole ocean. If it wasn't for that stupid wand, Nolan could not-happen.
Vivien needed so badly to cuddle into Regulus and let him hold her while she wept. But she had no courage to ask for that.
How could she embrace him when she was so filthy and he was so pure? It would be a crime worse than murder to touch him with the dirt she was. He didn't deserve it. He was so sinless. He was everything she was not. She was nasty and disgusting, and touching him would be a repugnant act against Mother Nature, who created him so angelic!
She sat there through the whole class with tears escaping from her eyes.
At some point, it wasn't even painful anymore.
Vivien felt hollow, and tears just ran down her skin. She felt Regulus and his friends glancing at her but she did not do anything about it. She could not do anything about anything.
She could not even protect herself, and she never felt emptier as a person.
Chapter 18: history
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne loved history, and she knew the most important rule of itโthat history loved to repeat itself, which taught her to expect the unexpected. She was sitting with Zahara on the windowsill, smoking cigarettes.
Moaning Myrtle was floating in drain pipes, and not moping around them. Still, they could hear her weep echoing from the pipes in the sinks.
"So now you and Black are about to be married?"
"It's like engraved in the stone." Vivien nodded her head, observing a hippogriff flying high in the sky.
They glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes. Zahara's dark brown ones were warm on Vivien.
Vivien sighed. She was never brave enough to ask Zahara such a thing, but then they were in a similar positionโthey were the only girls that could relate to each other.
"Are you-" She hesitated. "Are you afraid of marrying Zabini?"
"I was wondering when you would ask that." Zahara smiled softly.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to do so long before, but I didn't think it was my place to question your marriage. But now-"
"Now we are not so different anymore?"
"Yes." Vivien agreed quietly.
Zahara hummed, "I always knew I would marry rich when I was still young and hot." She said, making Vivien roll her eyes playfully. "All I was taught was to be a wife. I think I'm so used to that thought that I never consider thinking otherwise or question it."
She answered so lightly, but the weight of her words almost crushed Vivien's spirit. What Miss Hassani admitted made Vivien realise she was not the person who could relate to her. It was Regulus, who could relate to Zahara.
The only thing that was supposed to matter in their lives was to be married and have a child. They were only meant to be an extension of their familiesโheirs. She zoned out and Zaharaa gazed at her until the bathroom door creaked ajar.
"Vivi, are you in here?"
Zaharaโs and Vivienโs heads snapped in the door direction.
"What is it, Teddy?" Zahara furrowed her eyebrows.
"It's Black."
"Regulus?" Vivien straightened.
"Yes."
"What about him?" She narrowed her eyes.
"He's fighting with Sullivan."
"Get up." Zahara told Vivien laconically.
Vivien jumped down on the ground from a windowsill and helped Zahara, who was wearing a skirt from the school uniform. As they were passing sinks, they threw their cigarettes away.
Theodore led them and Zahara hooked her arm around Vivien's. They hurried towards the Viaduct Courtyard. There was a crowd formed that Vivien pushed through with Zahara and Teddy. They stopped beside Pandora and Dorcas at the front. They were watching Regulus sitting on Nolan and punching him with his fist across his face.
Vivien bowed her head at the girls, who did the same.
"Nice! They progressed." All the teenage girls stared at Teddy. He seemed taken. "What? They were only arguing and shouting before!"
Vivien rolled her eyes and they landed on the two boys in the centre of the circle.
"What the fuck are they doing?" She pointed her hand at them.
"Obviously fist-fighting." Answered Dorcas.
"About what?" Vivien grimaced.
"You." Pandora responded, causing them all to glance at the young witch. "So, could you please do something?"
"Me?" Vivien pointed at herself.
Dorcas sighed.
"Evan tried to stop Regulus, but-um-he's standing there now." She pointed with her head to the two teenage boys standing across from them.
Rosier tapped his foot nervously, his arms folded over his chest. He stood with Bartyโthat one seemed to be humoured and satisfied.
"And Barty is barty-ing the whole time, I guess." Dorcas looked at him in disbelief.
Vivien looked at him too. She was impressed by the way Barty could not give a fuck less about the fact that Regulus was beating someone. He seemed even proud of that. Vivien squinted her eyes at Evan.
"Rosier is like two times wider and taller than meโhow the fuck am I supposed to stop these two when he wasn't able. Why wasn't he even able? Regulus literally always looks like he is on a death bed and Nolan is skinnier than our Arithmancy book?" She looked at the two boysโboth very thin and pale. "I guess I have a ty-" She was about to murmur to herself.
Hearing her whisper, her girl-friends and brother stormed her with glares.
"Fine!" Vivien groaned, throwing her hands in the air after she let her school bag hit the ground.
She angrily stomped into the centre of the circle. She stared over her shoulder at her friends and brother. They all gesticulated for her to go on. She made a gibberish sound and approached Regulus and Nolan. She crouched down, which was a poor decision. She swallowed thickly. Black was sitting over Nolan, beating the life out of him, and his curls were falling on his face-
"Regulus?" She tried to keep herself grounded, her tone tame. She cringed. That's awkward!, but she kept going, "Regulus, stop punching that cretin, please. Leave him alone, and-and come with me."
He looked at her softening, and Nolan used the fact that Vivien distracted him unintentionally.
"Oh shite!" Someone shouted after O'Sullivan yanked his arms from Regulus. Doing so, he just accidentally happened to swing one of his hands in Vivien's face, causing her to lose her balance and fall to her ass.
Regulus immediately tried to reach her and Nolan used it too. He punched Regulus, making him drop to the ground. He quickly sat over him and started punching him, fighting back.
Vivien was fucking furious! She stood, feeling blood leak from her nose. She stomped towards her friends, looking around. She noticed Pandora was hugging that damn Arithmancy volume to her chest.
"Are you fine?" Teddy asked her the same moment she came closer to them.
"Perfectly." She smiled sweetly at Pandora. "Can I? Thank you." She snatched the book from her.
Vivien walked back to the two boys. With all the fury in her, she slammed the book against Nolan's face, resulting in him falling to the ground like she and Regulus did before thanks to him. Her chest was heaving up and down. She looked at Regulus on the ground. He was looking up at her, his eyes gentle against blood under her nose. She wiped it, smearing it on her cheek and hand.
"Get up. I can't have your face damaged, doll." She said dryly.
It was too late for that. Regulus' right eyelid was swelling and the colour of his skin was red. Still, his grey irises were all gentle to Vivien. She couldn't be mad at himโnot when he was looking at her like that. He got up.
Regulus wanted to take Vi's face in his hands and examine her nose but he didn't. They didn't talk about their boundaries but he didn't mean to violate hers. She was uncomfortable with his touch, and he wasn't risking it by stressing her even more after she had already distanced herself from him since the last time he stupidly tried to do so.
Simply he decided to ask her if she was fine-
"Oh, I forgot how rough you are, little flower." Nolan chuckled, spitting out blood from his mouth on the ground. He glanced towards the couple, and his lips twisted in repulsive smirk. "She's quite a magical fuck, isn't she, Black? Did she ever take you all at once down there? I taught her that trick."
Regulus fist tightened. How dared he speak like that about Vi!
"Vivien was crying the first time she had done it with me. But I taught her that well."
Vivien felt naked under the weight of all those looks on her. Regulus glanced at her after his stomach flopped in sickness at O'Sullivan's words. Nolan said such sickening things and there were so many people to hear them. Vivien felt her stomach do a dangerous flip.
"Fuck you!" She shouted at him with tears gathering in her eyes.
"You already have! She already has!" Even if Nolan was the one laying on the ground, he howled like a wolf for everyone to hear him triumph.
He maintained eye contact with Regulus, who stood unmoved because of the audacity of that boy.
"Advice for you. Don't take it personally, mate, when the flower will move onto another cock. She jumped from mine to Jamie's, then to Bonesโ, and now your-"
Regulus finally moved through his shock, ready to attack that boy again, but Vivien was the first to react. She threw the heavy Arithmancy volume at his face and everyone heard the crushing of the bone, the book smashing Nolan's nose. He groaned.
"You fucking unsatisfiable whore!" He cursed her out.
"Excuse me?!" Vivien heard Professor McGonagall, and she looked around. The professor was pushing through students to take a look at what was happening inside the circle.
"Beauchรชne? Black?" She spoke, looking at the young couple standing over someone lying down.
"O'Sullivan started, Professor." Dorcas claimed quietly.
McGonagall looked at her, nodding her head in understanding. She looked around all the gathered students and back to the three in the centre of the circle.
Vivien was rubbing her face, fucking tired. She tried to hide her eyes in which tears gathered.
"The three of youโto my officeโthe rest of you move along." McGonagall demanded loudly. "There is nothing to watch here!" She added even louder, demolishing the show students were watching.
Vivien saw everyone slowly back away from the scene,whispering and peeping over their shoulders at her. She saw all the gawkers between the gaps of her fingers. She felt pity in her chest. Everyone was judging her silently.
Regulus and fucking Sullivan fought but Vivien was the subject of their fight, and Nolan humiliated her in front of everyone. And he dragged James Potter into that as if Sullivan himself, Edgar, and Regulus were not enough for other students to call her slag in their classic British style. And what he said was disgusting, which made it the perfect topic for rumours.
Horray Monday lunch, you fucking bitch!
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ย ย ย ย ย McGonagall was staring. Although it was crystal clear that it was a fist-fight between two boys, Mister Black still chose to stand in the middle between Mister O'Sullivan and Miss Beauchรชne to separate her from him.
Vivien was cracking her knuckles, her eyes grounded on the floor.
"Can someone explain to me what happened? Beauchรชne, why do you have a broken nose?" Professor McGonagall asked, making everyone glance at her.
She felt their looks on her, but she avoided them, shrugging her shoulders, her leg shaking.
"Black, O'Sullivan, what happened?"
Silence.
Vivien stood nervously, and her hands became violent, crushing her fingers. She was putting a lot of pressure and strength into cracking them. One tear rolled down her cheek. She felt light in her head, and she felt weak inside her bodyโhollowโlike she was opened alive and gutted out. She felt her chest tighten and her lungs fight for air, her throat dry. She wasn't suffocating, even though her brain kept repeating to her that she was dying.
Vivien's lips opened, and she let out a shallow breath that caught Regulus and McGonagall's attention.
"Beauchรชne, are you alright?" McGonagall stood up from her chair slowly, leaning on the wooden desk.
Vivien shook her head. She put her hand up to her face, hiding her eyesโashamed of herself for crying.
"I want to leave. Please, can I leave, Professor?" She mumbled out.
McGonagall noticed how Nolan half-smiled on his beaten-up face. She stared at him.
"You can leave, Vivien."
Vivien spun and nearly ran out of the room. She marched fast through the corridor, cautious to not be seen or heard. She walked into the Lost Wands and shut the door behind her, anxiously looked around a small room with shelving put up on the walls, where rested organised trunks with lost possessions. She hid away in the corner, curling into a ball. She pressed her forehead against a brick.
"Stop crying." She whispered to herself through her tears.
"Stop crying." She whispered again, but it only made more tears fill her eyes and spill out. She pressed her forehead harder on the brick.
"Ssstop!" She hissed at herself and hit the wall with the side of her fist.
"Stop fucking crying!" She hit the wall stronger.
She was too deeply drowning in blues, trying to calm herself to realise she was not alone. Regulus sneaked into the shadowy room. Among the lost possessions, he found his Vivien. He heard her and saw what she was doing. He rushed.
"Stop!, stop!, stop!, stop!, stop!" He crouched down beside her and grasped her hand in his. He pushed his other hand between her forehead and the brick.
Vivien recognised Regulus without any effort. She recognised his fast steps, his voice, and his musky smell. She collapsed and landed on her bump, giving up. She let him hold her hand, needing it so badly.
"I-I just need a break." She choked out. She saw him sitting with his back against the wall. She lowered her head, hiding her face.
"Shhh, I know, I know. We can take it together here."
Regulus held Vivien's hand carefully to stop her from hurting herself. He softly skimmed with his fingertips against it. He wanted to make sure she knew that she wasn't on her ownโbut he didn't want to touch her too much.
Vi cried until she felt hollow in her head again. She dug her nails into her thigh with the hand Regulus wasn't holding. She did it secretly. The tension of her emotions was overwhelming her, and she needed to release it somehow but. She didn't need to worry him even more.
Regulus heard her cries quieten and after some time he decided to speak out,
"Vivien, are we still best friends?" His tone was pacifying and steady, but still serious.
Vi furrowed her eyebrows. She turned her puffy pinkish face towards him, resting her cheek on her knee. She nodded.
"Do you remember that friends are honest with each other?"
She nodded again.
"Will you be honest with me if I ask you something now?"
She clenched her free hand. She nodded her head nervously.
"Did he threaten you a week ago that he-" Regulus swallowed and she saw his Adam's apple bob. "-that he would hurt you again?"
Vivien shook her head. She glanced into Regulus' eyesโhis right one was turning ugly. He looked into her irises, gazing deeply into her soul.
"But he did tell you something?"
She shrugged.
"Does he always talk to you like he talked about you today?"
She nodded her head weakly.
"Do you want to talk about what he said?"
When she thought she was done crying, her eyes overflowed with tears. She stared down at their hands tangled together.
"It doesn't matter." She mumbled out.
"It does to you."
"No, it doesn't." She mumbled out quietly again in a silent protest.
"So what is troubling you, if not his words, Vi? Since last week, you don't even want to sit beside me and you are absent all the time, lost in your thoughts. I'm sorryโI didn't mean to hurt you. I just didn't consider that you didn't want me to touch you, which is fine butโplease, don't think that I had bad intentions by doing so." He said softly, his eyes gently ebbing and voyaging on the lines of her face.
Vivien gazed up at Regulus. She felt cruel, her heart sinking in endless pity. She managed to make him feel bad in his own skin. He thought he was the problem. Stupid cunt!
"Regulus, it was never about you touching me." She murmured.
"Then what is it about?" He glanced deeply into the eyes of someone really tired.
"It is about me touching you." Vivien confessed, a tear stained her cheek once more just like that.
"You don't disgust me. I disgust myself. I realised Nolan was right and I'm exactly the girl he describes. I'm this filthy, shallow girl, not capable of love, only meant to-"
She got mad at herself.
"-to be fucked like some prostitute, but that's what I made out of myself on my fucking own for free!"
She laughed bitterly.
"You were right to think I was only a brainless body. This dirty, hand-me-down body that no one owns because anyone can have it. And-" She hesitated. "-and you deserve better than this body. You deserve someone as pure as you are. You deserved someone good, gentle, and sweet, like-like the Virgin Mary or an angel. Not me. You deserve someone flawless, Regulus. And that's not what I am. What I am is-"
"The prettiest girl in and out I've ever seen in my entire life, Vi." Regulus whispered, his eyes treating Vivien the kindest anyoneโs eyes ever did.
He became a blur, her vision overflood. She shook her head, sobbing out,
"No, Regulus, I'm not! I'm this ugly person inside. I've been used and I've used! I used you! I want to be loved but I don't even know if I can love. I expected you to make me feel loved anywayโbecause I had whims. I did only what I wanted!"
Regulus laid his hand on Vivienโs cheek, wiping bitter tears. He moved closer to her on the floor, his head tilting to the side like hers was. They looked at each other from the same perspective.
"That's what you think happened, Vi? You convinced me to happily do all these things 'I didn't want to do'. You don't think I wanted to be the one kissing you since I heard rumours that people saw you snogging with Sullivan at HoneyDukes? You don't think that I spent the last three semesters imagining pathetic scenarios in my head when puberty hit me hard for good? You don't think that your small skirts frustrate me so much because I want to be the only boy that takes them off of you?"
Regulus' heart ached at the thought that Vivien thought of herself like some object. She was so sensitive and he would never understand why anyone would harm someone so kind.
Vivien's worries were pure and came from her empathy. Even after being harmed, she worried about someone else.
She observed him.
"You did everything I wanted and more. You didn't take advantage of me. I never expected you to even like me and you let me be your best friend, Vi. Do you really think you are this corrupt personโsimilar to Sullivan? Do you think he has ever sat down and wondered if he is a bad person? I'm not flawless either, and you know it. No one is. But even your flaws come from your heart because that's how much you care. I don't want some Holy Virgin. I want you, no matter what anyone calls you. No matter what you call yourself. You are VivienโVi. That's who you are. You are Vi, and I want Vi."
Regulus whispered his last words, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Vi, I want to hug you. Do you think you could do the same for me?"
Vivien gulped down her emotions. She wanted so badly to be embraced. Despite all the odds, she nodded her head firmly and eagerly.
"I would like to hug you too, Rebulus." She mumbled out.
Regulus straightened and opened his arms for her. Vivien scrambled towards him. She sank down in him, holding on to him like a lifeline. His arms locked around her, and she felt his chin resting on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry." Vivien murmured.
"For what?"
"I think we're late for Transfiguration."
Regulus squeezed her tighter.
"McGonagall told me to take as much time as we needed."
"Was she mad at me after I left?"
"Not at all."
"When do we have detention?"
"She said she would talk later with our two."
"She might not be mad at me, but I am mad at you, Regulus. You know that?"
"I know. I'm sorry for even responding to Sullivan."
After a few moments of silence, Vivien squeezed Regulus gently to herself.
"Thank you for standing up to Nolan for me."
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ย ย ย ย ย After a break in the Lost Wands, the young couple decided to leave the place behind and move on. They slowly dragged their feet through the castle without any purpose. They were in one of many corridors. It was quiet. Vivien walked side by side with Regulus, peeping at him very-not-secretly. He glanced back at her.
"What?" His brows knitted together.
She giggledโBlack looked silly like this.
"Your eye is turning ugly."
"So I'm not pretty anymore?" He smiled.
"Your eye isn't."
"Your nose is plumped out a little too." He teased back.
Though it hurt, Vivien smiled, trying to scrunch her nose sweetly.
"Is it?"
He tangled his arm around her waist, bringing her to him. Vivien's heart skipped a beat.
"Or was it always so swollen and red?"
She tilted her head.
"What if it wasโwould you like me less now that you noticed it?"
Regulus smirked and leaned close to her.
"Not a chance." He brushed his lips against hers, so their faces wouldn't get too close and their noses wouldn't touch. Still, they did delicately.
Vivien whimpered. Regulus parted away for a few inches, not expecting such a sound to leave her mouth. Her lips turned into a line that tried to suppress the laugh because of his ridiculous expression as he knew a similar sound to this one.
"It hurts." She said, trying not to crack.
He half-smiled. "Sorry. This stunned me a little."
Regulus distanced himself from Vi, but his arm stayed on her waist as they walked to the Hospital Tower. When they arrived at the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey already awaited them. She sat at the desk at the end of the big infirmary.
"You took your time, sweethearts."
Elowen, McGonagall's owl, sat on the desk, snacking on dried rat tails. Pomfrey stroked its head.
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ย ย ย ย ย People saw Nolan O'Sullivan fooling around the castle and acting nonchalantly, his face healing to normal.
But no one saw Vivien Beauchรชne and Regulus Black after the fight they had with him during lunch break. They didn't return for their classes.
What actually mattered to the couple was that they saw each other. It was the only important thing for them. They spent a few hours hidden in the prefect bathroom, knowing no one would use it during an afternoon on school day.
As Vivien felt her nose hurt less and less, she laid with her head on Regulus' shoulder. They were lying in silence on the white marble, Vi's hand travelling under Regulus' jumper and button-up. She was stroking his ribs as if they were the strings of a harp.
It was peaceful, and Regulus had his eyes closed, whenever Vivien glanced at them sometimes to see how his right eye was compared to the left one. The bruising and swelling were fading away from his pale, pristine skin.
She listened to how he was breathing and observed his chest going up and down. She heard how his breathing turned into snoring. She let him live his idyllic utopian dream. He deserved this solitude as much as she did. She was looking at the painting of the mermaid, her eyes kept closing on their own.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien felt her nose being tickled and she scratched it lazily.
Then it happened again, and she opened her eyes to see Regulus holding a ribbon from her hair over her face. He was stroking the bridge of her healed nose with it. She studied him. He had messy hair but it seemed his sleepy eyes were gone. He had to be awake for some time.
"Hi," She mumbled.
"Hi my sleeping beauty." Regulus smiled at Vivien.
She yawned and put a hand over her mouth. Her hand stayed over her mouth, but Regulus moved closer to her and tore it away.
"Don't. I have bad breath."
"I guess you have to cover your nose then because so do I." He smirked, sinking towards her.
"This is not fu-nlyy-!" She mumbled out sloppily but Regulus had already connected their lips.
Still, she smiled and laid her hands on his cheeks, responding to the kiss he gave her.
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ย ย ย ย ย Leaving the prefect's bathroom was a clash with reality. Stares followed them from the moment they exited the bathroom. They followed them through the castle corridors to the kitchen in the basement, and they followed Vivien to the Ravenclaw's common room. Inside the common room, a few students glanced briefly.
Most Ravenclaws were too focused on their own things to pay attention to disgusting gossips. Ravenclaws might choose individuality over loyalty, but they were accepting.
When Vivien entered her dormitoryโit was empty. She didn't waste time and took a long bath. She left the bathroom, seeing Sybill and Pandora. They only bowed their heads at her politely and went back to doing whatever they were doing.
Sybie was reading her magazine that her mother sent her every month since Vivien remembered and longer,
"Venus enters Virgo on the first day of autumn. Good time for acts of kindness." She murmured under her nose. "Sun in Libra on the 23rdโmaybe it will balance out Mars in Cancer."
Vivien snorted quietly, listening to Bibie. She was sitting in front of the cheval mirror, brushing her wet hair, and she gazed at her. They smiled at each other, and Sybill went back to reading about upcoming astrological events.
Vivien laid down in her bed with fresh pyjamas on and a book in her hand. After Pandora and Regulus tried to interrogate her about "Frankenstein", she challenged herself to read something else. She found in Hogwarts' library a very poor section of fictional novels, and she borrowed "Love and Other Demons". It was a truly demonical experience. Well, that's definitely a book. It has a cover and pages!, Vivien was not the type of person to judge a book by its cover, so she judged it by the contents of those pages, and it was shite! If there was something wizards couldn't do, it was writing stories! She closed the book with a thud, and her dormmates looked at her.
"Not a good read?" Pandora laughed.
Vivien rolled her eyes. She threw the at the foot of the bed and pointed her hand at it.
"This right here is monstrosity. Even the author of it didn't want to sign up on this shite." It was an anonymously published book.
Sybie and Rora laughed at Vivien taking an offence at the book.
It was insulting how much of her time it had already consumed. She turned on her side, annoyed. She stayed like this, pretending to sleep. She heard Sybie going to the bathroom and returning from it. Later Pandora did the exact same thing. She heard them quietly preparing for the night and she heard the clock chiming.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien lay in darkness after her dormmates snuffed out the candles. She was trying not to toss and turn around to not disturb the silence, but she was disturbed herself.
Something was missing and Vivien didn't like it. She sat up, letting her legs dangle. With her feet, she dug out her slippers from under her bed. She slipped in them to not make a noise. She stood up from her bed and tiptoed out of her dormitory. She went upstairs to the common room. It was abandoned but the fireplace was still lit up. Castle was cold, and Vivien felt shivers pour down her body, only wearing her cotton bottoms and camisole with lace detailing. She wanted to exit the common room-
"Are you alright?"
Vivien snapped around. She saw Bibie leaning her shoulder against the wall.
"Yes." She nodded her head.
"Are you going to Madame Pomfrey? Does your head hurt?" Sybill tilted her head.
"No, no." She shook her head and bit her bottom lip.
Trelawney folded her arms over her chest, waiting.
"I was going for a walk." Vivien let out under the weight of her look.
"Like now?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure you're alright? I know what happened today, which I'm sorry about. You didn't deserve anything that was told about you." Sybill said with a sad small smile.
"I prefer not to talk about it, Bi." Vivien smiled sadly too.
"Sorry."
They stood awkwardly in silence, Sybill stubbornly studying Vivien, making her nervous.
"I actually wanted to go and see Regulus." Finally she murmured under her nose.
"Oh." Sybill smiled.
"Oh." Vivien felt her cheeks warm, not feeling so cold anymore.
"Emma is still on her patrol, so I assumed he is too, and I thought that I could catch him before he crawls back into Slytherin's den." She joked, her eyes flicking to the fireplace, avoiding Sybill's look.
Suddenly, the entrance door opened. Emmaline and Barty entered the room. They looked between Vivien and Sybill, surprised.
"Foxy. Little sparrow." Barty smiled.
Emmeline smiled cutely too.
"You're here and not out there hunting in a forbidden forest, Vivien?"
"She actually was about to go hunt down a sneak." Sybill chuckled.
The prefects narrowed their eyes at her, then at Vivien, who stood awkwardly with her hands behind her back, kicking her foot like a bored child.
Barty smirked, already suspecting what it was about.
"What do you mean?"
"Vivien's going out."
"Where to?" He questioned more.
"I'm sorry but you do realise we were just preventing other students from doing so for the last two hours."
Vivien threw her head to the back and her eyes rolled with a whine.
"So where are you going, Vivien?" Barty continued to ask teasingly.
She made some gibberish sounds of frustration in answer.
"Don't whine at me, little fox." He pointed his finger at her warningly in a playful manner.
She groaned and hid her face in her hands.
"I want to see Black." She admitted out loud shyly, ashamed that she needed to see a boy before she could go to sleep.
Barty clapped his hands together and laughed. He kneeled in front of Emmeline, who was as amused as he was.
"Please! Let her do it because Evan would not fucking believe me on my word."
Sybill snorted, so did Emmaline.
"Fine!" She put up her hands as a sign of giving up. "Just don't tell anyone we let you out, if you get caught tiptoeing around the castle."
And she stepped to the side of the door, letting Vivien go out.
Vivien grinned innocently and walked out of the common room, feeling little and silly.
The castle was quiet and dark with only paintings hanging everywhere. Vivien was, in fact, tiptoeing around corners. Walking through dungeons, she heard Filch and Mrs. Norris passing the corridor she was in. In panic, she walked backwards to hide but she hit her back on somethingโsomeone. Her heart almost exploded in her breast like she was hit with Bombarda. She whipped around and faced Dorcas, paired up with Zaharaโwho was shaking her head in disbelief.
"Oh Merlin," Vivien sighed, lying her hand on her poor heart after she gave herself a heart attack. "I thought I was about to get caught."
"You do remember we are prefects?" Zahara raised her eyebrows judgingly.
"I want to see Rebulus." Vivien said, trying to catch them off guard.
It didn't work.
"Shocking!" Dorcas said sarcastically, smirking.
The two girls looked at each other in agreement that they didn't want to deal with Vivien.
"Come on." Zahara hooked her hand around Vivien's arm, dragging her.
Cassie walked behind them, patrolling to make sure no one would catch two prefects helping a student break rules.
"Where are we going?" Vivien asked, glancing at Zahara innocently.
"Slytherin common room."
"Why?"
"Regulus is there."
"Let's go there." Vivien smiled, satisfied.
When they stopped at the wall in the middle of the dungeons, Vivien blinked at it.
"Pure-blood." Dorcas whispered at it.
Suddenly from the wall appeared a gigantic sneak that morphed into a door frame. The door opened.
"Original." Vivien cringed.
"Shush, I'm not even pure-blood."
Vivien and Zahara muffled their snorts. Dorcas grasped Vivien and dragged her inside the Slytherin common room. They glanced over their shoulders at the Hufflepuff.
Zahara waved her hand.
"Vivianne, behave, please." She mouthed, disappearing behind the door that closed.
Vivien looked around. They stood in some entrance room with a pair of spiral staircases going to the left and right. She sneaked after Dorcas on the left one.
The Slytherin common room was spacious. It was cold, gloomy, and green. That common room was surrounded by the lake, causing the room to be even more greenish because the only windows were underwater. A very few Slytherins were creeping around the room. They didn't bother themselves about Vivien's presence.
Vivien didn't have a chance to look around because Dorcas instructed her down the corridor of doors. They stopped in front of one of them.
"Black, I think you lost something during patrol!" Meadowes smacked her fist on it, yelling. "Or rather missed!"
Vivien looked at her with raised brows and Cassie met her eyes,
"Don't worry, no one car-"
"Shhhhh!" Some boy hissed, passing past them, proving Dorcas wrong.
At the same moment Regulus opened the door to his dormitory.
"Cas, what are you-Vi?" He took a step back to gaze at Vi, who looked at him.
He had messy hair and sleepy eyes. He had to be resting after his prefect's patrol.
"Little fox lost her way to the Ravenclaw common room. I hope you will take good care of her and help her find it safely." Dorcas elaborated loudly, already leaving their vision.
Vivien glanced between her and Regulus, disoriented. She didn't know what to say or what to do.
"Hi," She only smiled timidly at Regulus.
"Hi," He smiled back. "What are you doing here?"
"Seeing you." She confessed shyly.
"Do you want to come in?"
Regulus moved to the side, letting Vivien peeped inside his dormitory.
"What about your dormmates?"
"It's only Evan." He assured her.
Unsurely, she walked in, glancing everywhere. There was an antique tapestry on the walls and the floor was made out of stoneโnot out of wood like in the dormitories of other houses. The ceiling was stony too but it was vaulted. On the opposite wall of the door was a big window. The furniture set was made out of black wood, and any details in the room were emeraldโbedding, curtains.
Vivien looked at two beds. On the other side, where she thought there was supposed to be one more, there wasn't. Under the wall stood a dark green sofa and two armchairs that caught her eyeโit wasn't usual for dormitories.
Regulus noticed her confusion.
"Slughorn moved Mulciber to Carrow and Adam after I complained he was going through my possession notoriously. Evan and I had an opportunity to renovate."
Vivien nodded her head and came closer to the sofa, studying the framed photographs, which stood on the coffee table. Among the photos of five friends, she noticed the odd one. She giggled.
"Are you kidding me?" She took the photo with her hands.
It was a photo from the anniversary of the British Ministry of Magic Foundation. After some time, Evan and Barty invited themselves into the frame of the photos Vivien and Regulus were posing for. The photographer didn't mind and took them anyway.
In this one, Vivien was standing in the middle with Regulus, who locked his arms around her waist and laid his chin on her shoulder. They were both smiling sweetly. On the right side of them was standing Evan. Vivien was holding his hand. And on the left side was Barty with his hands tucked behind his back neatly. Vivien was petting his cheek.
Evan and Barty were grinning joyfully and foolishly. It almost seemed like a family photo of a father, two sons, and a proud-of-everyone mother, who was showing off her two young and tall boysโif it were not for the four's drunken state that was emanating from the picture. They were all slurry.
Vivien almost smelled that red currant rum off of that picture. She chuckled at the sight of that photo in the boys' dormitory.
She felt Regulus sneak around her and do the exact same thing he did in the photo.
"How did Evan get that?"
"He wrote to the editor of the Daily Prophet, asking for the name of the photographer working on the anniversary, and then wrote to that lady. She sent him a few pictures of the best quality." He whispered into Vivien's ear, his breath tickling her.
"Yh-ym." She hummed, feeling shivers but not the ones from a cold temperature. She tilted her head to the side.
Regulus' lips stroked Vi's skin. He had an idea and decided to tempt her into it. He left small kisses along her neck and shoulder. In the meantime, she melted in his hold, trying to remember she was holding the photo. Her free hand travelled to the nape Regulus' neck. She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling riskily. He glanced at her.
"Kiss me on the lips, please?"
Regulus' heart skipped a beat. He nodded his head and did as she pleased. They kissed slowly and Vivien turned around in his arms, kissing with him without a single worry or hurry.
"Oh, for Merlin sake!, what the hell are you two doing?" Evan winced, opening the bathroom door to that sight.
The couple separated, staring at him, stupified. He caught them redhanded in private!
Evan walked towards Vivien and snatched the photo from her hand.
"Are you trying to profane us?" He looked at the photography, putting it back down on the coffee table among other pictures.
"We were not profaning anything." Regulus whispering, looking away.
"Now you're embarrassed?" Evan chuckled, cheeky. "You weren't before, when you were violating our eyes with Vivien. Which by the wayโwhat is foxy doing here?" He moved to his bed, where he laid down, studying the said young witch.
"Ummmmm," She pouted her lips, thinking. "Seeing you two?"
"Oh, seeing us two?" Evan nodded. "Do you want a kiss from me too then?"
"Shut up." Regulus scoffed.
He locked his hand around Vivien's waist and brought her to his bed. She was still in her slippers, but he didn't seem to mind. He was too focused on her to be concerned about some slippers on his sheets.
"I was actually trying to ask if you wanted to stay for a night." Vivien smiled, sinking in the softness of his pillows and bedding.
"Oh, that's why you were trying to charm me."
"Trying? I daresay he was damn effective."
Evan's words caused Regulus to smirk proudly.
"Thank you." He bowed his head at him politely.
The couple rested and Rosier observed them with raised brows. They laid on their backs, watching at the canopy of the bed.
"You want me to stay so you can play on me with your hands the whole night?"
Rosier's eyes widened.
"It's you who have sticky hands, Vi."
He grimaced.
"Right, you have only sticky lips."
"Bollocks, please stop! Both of you!" Evan Rosier whined, done and given up.
Vivien glanced at him over Regulus. He was disgusted and she snickered. At that moment, Evan knew Vivien and Regulus would be the death of him, but he couldn't be happier anyway.
Chapter 19: regulus' phase
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Although rumours demonised Miss Beauchรชne, she lacked a lot of experience with boys. She knew things in theory, but she didn't understand them in reality. Vivien woke to the sight of Regulus with a slightly opened mouth, soft snores escaping them. He rested on his back.
Asleep, she had slipped her sticky fingers under his jumper. She had her head on his shoulder, and her leg across his body, locked on him, making him her prisoner. But conscious, she felt something stiff against her thigh. She heard Evan chatting with himself in the bathroom, getting ready. She saw his bed was already made. She bit the inside of her cheek and peeped under a duvet that was warming her and Regulus. She immediately looked away and let the blanket drop back, blocking the image from the daylight.
Should I wake him?, it was awkward! Vivien didn't know how she should react, but she didn't want to make Regulus embarrassed about how his body was body-ing. She decided to let him sleep, but once she was aware of what was happening under the duvet she didn't want to be a creep and grope on him.
With delicate movements, Vivien freed Regulus from her and she turned away to the other side. But he must felt lonely in his freedomโhe followed Vivien and hugged her from the back like she was his cuddly toy. Her brain exploded. Normally, she would laugh because he had snored into her ear, but it was difficult with his hardened penis against her arse.
"Rebulus... Rebulus, wake up." She gently nudged him in the chest with her elbow. He didn't, and she nudged him harder. He moaned in pain. "I'm sorry, Rebulus, but you are in me."
And as if Regulus had been burned, he yanked away.
"Fuck, sorry, Vivien. I didn't mean-shite-sorry." He got nervous, and Vivien felt bad.
It's exactly what she wanted to avoid but she had no other choice than to wake Regulus.
"Regulus, it's f-" Vivien was about to say something, facing him.
He managed to roll out of bed nervous because she was about to tell him it was fucked up.
"I'm getting up. We can't miss our second day in a row in September." He blurred out to avoid that confrontation.
Regulus was moping around the dormitory until Evan didn't leave the bathroom. Vivien observed him the whole time unimpressed because he was doing anything but facing her.
Evam felt the tension in the room and saw how Regulus was hiding himself from the daylight, Vivien staring at him with her arms folded over her chest. He chuckled.
But even when his best friend went into the bathroom, he didn't mention an erumpent in the room.
Vivien sat there, frustrated. She looked insulted with her fussy little face, which told Rosier that Black had done something to annoy her.
Regulus got out of the bathroom, all nonchalant. He quirked an eyebrow at Vivien, standing at the bedside.
"Do you want me to help you find your way to the common room, Vi?" Though it was obvious that she was waiting for him, she shrugged as she climbed out of his bed.
She slipped into her slippers without a word.
Evan suppressed one of his snorts. What the fuck were they doing?! He followed them into the Slytherin common room, where they were greeted by Dorcas and her half-smile.
"When I said safe, I didn't mean this." She gesticulated between the couple from her seat on the sofa.
"Well, Regulus doesn't know how to listen, does he?"
Between Dorcasโ and Regulusโ eyebrows appeared a line. Cassie furrowed her brows at Black and snickering Rosier behind his back. Evan shrugged, humoured.
Regulus observed Vivienโthe raw one in her wildness.
But their ears caught someone's howls. Doyle, Cecil, Amycus, and Severusโcrawled past them.
"I see why you got rid of Doyle, Black. For this body naked on top of mine, I would throw out my dormmate too." Avery said, walking backwards, scanning Vivien's figure up and down like a toy.
Amycus patted Regulusโ shoulder in approval, analysing everything that the pyjama she was wearing uncovered. Regulus snatched his shoulder from him.
Vivien put up her middle finger, making the Slytherins howl louder. Not Snape. Snape was blank, drowning in his usual blues.
"I could teach you how to use those hands better than this, foxy." Mulciber winked, making her, Dorcas, and Evan cringe.
"Easy. Nolan says she's a pretty fast learner." Severus muttered.
Vivien nodded with a shite-eating grin glued to her mouth
"Yes, I am. That's why I learned my lesson and replaced him. His dick was as useless as he was. Keep listening to him and you will all stop fucking faster than all of you come. Now piss off or I'll show you other tricks with my hands."
The Slytherins chortled, leaving the common room. Nonetheless, Evan and Dorcas smiled proudly.
Regulus was occupied with storming them with his glare, as if it was striking lightnings at them. He didn't like how they looked at Vivien. He didn't like the fact that they looked at her at all. He was ready to gouge their eyes for groping Vi with them, but he felt her grabbing his hand and dragging him.
Vivien and Regulus walked through the castle towards the Ravenclaw common room in silence. Vivien kept walking two steps ahead of Regulus, who followed her like a puppy. She noticed how some younger Ravenclaws glanced at the older Slytherin, while they were passing.
Vivien wasn't sure if they were acknowledging Regulus because he was an older Slytherin or because he was Black, but they were trying to keep themselves out of his way.
She knitted her brows and peeped over her shoulder at Black. He was looking around like a child, as if he was walking those spiral stairs for the first time. He didn't even try to intimidate those poor Ravenclaws, but they were stressed over his presence anyway.
Vivien wanted to giggle but she was too upset with Black.
The couple stopped on the fifth floor. The entrance to the Ravenclaw common room was a wooden pointy door made of brown wood. Regulus blinked, realising the door didn't have any doorknob or keyholeโanything at all to open it. There was only one bronze knocker. It was an eagle holding a thick hoop in its claws.
Vivien knocked on the door with the knocker, and the eagle opened its beak to ask with a musical voice, "What flies but has no wings?"
Regulus observed Vi, intrigued.
"Time." She answered, rubbing her face. The door opened steadily and she walked into the common room. She felt coldness following her. She turned around, holding the door, so they wouldn't close into Regulus' face.
He stood unmoved outside of them.
"Are you not coming in?"
"Can I come in?"
She nodded her head.
Black smiled, but Vivien didn't share that gesture. Fuck! She was disgusted with him after what he did.
She grasped his hand and walked him towards the Rowena Ravenclaw statuette. Meanwhile, he gazed everywhere around. They were in a circular room with windows all around. The furniture set was in a brown shade that matched the bronze of Ravenclaw. A few sofas were made of midnight blue material, as was the rug that was decorated with yellow stars. Those stars were reflected on the domed ceiling of the room. There were a lot of bookshelves with various lectures of different genres and about different topics.
Vivien turned to the left side of the statuette and went downstairs with Regulus. They were travelling on a spiral staircase until they stopped at one of the many doors.
"Wait here. If the dormitory's empty, you can come in. If not, you stay here or go upstairs."
Vi said coolly, entering her bedroom and leaving Regulus alone in that absolutely strange place. He scratched his neck awkwardly, looking around.
Inside the dormitory, Vivien was welcomed loudly.
"Vivien's here!" Exclaimed Sybill, who was resting on her bed scraping something in her teal diary.
She was prepared for her day, unlike Pandora, who was trying to make something out of her long platinum hair. She sat in front of the cheval mirror, but with Vivien's presence, her dramatic grimace replaced a light beam. Vivien heard the sound of water splashing from the bathroom, where Emmeline had the time of her life in the bathtub.
"Hi," Vivien said shyly.
"Hiiiii," Rora teased her with the melodical and meaningful tone.
It made Vivien even more sheepishโsmall and silly. Em and Bibie obviously had to tell her where Vivien was, which was Regulus' bed without a doubt. They were not wrong about it, but it was quite embarrassing for Vivien that she became a girl who needed to see some boy before sleeping. No, she was even worseโshe became a girl who needed a boy to sleep.
"How's everyone's night?" Vivien asked her foolish question, walking to her bed. She sat down on it, hugging a pillow to her chest.
"Peaceful."
"Lonely." Pandora wiggled her eyebrows.
"Boring!" Emmeline yelled. "Yours, little fox?!"
"Restful?"
Vivien felt Pandora stare at her in the mirror. Sybill lowered her diary to stare at her directly. She felt a blush crept on her cheeks. She hid her face in the pillow.
"Do you mean restless?!"
"Don't bait the fox or she will run away to Black again!"
"So, where did you lose your prince charming?" Sybillโs head tilted to the side.
Vivien put the pillow down. She pointed her finger at the exit of the bedroom.
"He's waiting outside."
Her words caused Pandora to turn around. Sybill and Emmeline laughed out loud, bursting like two bubbles.
"You mean outside our dormitory door?"
"Yes." Vivien nodded her head, confused. "Where did I just point, Rora?"
"You made him walk all this way to leave him at the fucking door?!" Emma cackled out hysterically.
"Well, I-I told him he could go back upstairs!" Vivien argued back angrily. "What the fuck was I supposed to do with him?"
"Vivia, don't scowl. We are just surprised that you made him go all the way here to not invite him inside."
She cracked her fingers.
"Well, I-I didn't know if it was appropriate on my part."
She glanced at Sybill meaningfully.
"It's fine with me. He has been apologising to me for the past two semesters. He can come in. We'll see how well Pandora trained him." She smiled and winked at Pandora.
"How could you leave him alone on foreign land?" Pandora shook her head in disapprovalโdisbelief. She was more saying to herself than genuinely asking.
"Oh, don't act like it's his first time here, Rora!" Vivien rolled her eyes, standing up. "Just because I wasn't here to see it doesn't mean he wasn't here."
"What are you talking about?" Pandora furrowed her eyebrows. "I've never invited him anywhere near here because you would bite his head off and then mine only by smelling him in the air."
"What are you talking about?" Vivien walked backwards towards the door with her eyes narrowed.
"Vivien, Regulus was never here before."
"Ohโฆ leaving him at the door was bad, wasn't it?" Vivien whispered towards her dormmates and opened the door. Her heart hopped up to her throat.
Regulus stood right in front of her, where she had left him.
"It was quite impolite." He answered, looking down at her with a firm smirk.
Regulus wasn't sure if four dormmates were aware he heard them the whole time or was that they didn't care. Anyway, he felt satisfied knowing Vivien's friends poked fun at her because she acted shy about him! Was Regulus truly making Vi shy?
" It was quite impolite. Shut up, Black." And Vivien was sulking around him again.
Sybill and Pandora peeped at each other than at Regulus, whose smirk vanished.
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ย ย ย ย ย Stupid!, stupid!, stupid! Black ignored Vivien, and what was worse, he was ignoring her for another girl! STUPID!
After Emmeline departed from the bathroom, Vivien went there to occupy it before anyone else could. She left Regulus on her bed, hoping he would behave. And when she came back Regulus was occupied! He was occupied by conversation and it wasn't even with Pandoraโhis girl best friend.
It's Sybill!
"So have you ever actually seen anything?"
"Nothing that really mattered. But I predicted the death of my family's cat and Em breaking her leg during a quidditch match in our fourth year."
Vivien sat on the floor in front of the cheval mirror, ripping her hair off her head with a hairbrush, listening to them talking. Regulus didn't even look at her once! All he looked at was Sybie! What a nerve! He sat on Vivien's bed, completely focused on another girl, who was clearly not her!
Neither Sybill's blue eyes or blonde curls looked anything like Vivien's green irises and brown waves!ย
"Was anyone else in your family a seer too?"
"Expect Cassandra, no. I don't believe there was."
"How does it feel to have a vision?"
"It's kind of like dreaming."
And Black was really interested in what Sybie had to say. Vivien wanted him to behave nicely, but it was a little too nice!
He smiled at Sybie and showed her his dimples. He is showing his dimples to another girl!
Vivien was glaring at him the whole time she was styling her hair, wishing to strike him with one of her looks. She was storming him with her eyes in the mirror. Even though it flew over his head like an owl, Pandora and Emmeline noticed that Vivien had a problem with Black. And he was making it worse, even if it wasn't his intention. He was enjoying chatting with Sybill, asking her questions he had never had a chance to ask before.
Boys were so stupid sometimes! Emmeline and Pandora had to tighten their mouths shut so they would not crack.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vi was the most hot and cold person Regulus had ever come across! She was fussing at him for the whole day.
They just cleared out the air the previous day.
They just went to sleep hugging each other yesterday night!
She was either raw cold or boiling hotโthere was never anything in between.
Adding to the heat, their friends kept teasing that cauldron with their stirring. They obviously noticed that Regulus had annoyed Vivien. Evan had a theory about what that something was which made Barty and Dorcas cackle out loud.
Pandora called the three of them childish for laughing at such a subject.
Regulus heard her as he was approaching them. He rolled his eyes after his friends suddenly fell into silence.
"Does everyone know by now that I had a morning erection?" He groaned, sitting down in the seat beside Pandora.
Cas, Barty, and Evan looked at him until they laughed at him like a choir of toads again, snickering at his misfortuneโpoor timing of his body that is.
"I started thinking you're a late bloomer, so it is a pretty important thing to take note of. I wrote it down in the calendar, Reg." Evan smiled sarcastically.
"For how long have you been trying to establish if my cock was working or not?" Regulus smirked sarcastically and Evan faked thinking about it.
"Uh, since last semester. You were irritating the shite out of me with how eager you were to get up every single morning the moment you opened your eyes, mate. Now you know the downs. But I don't think it's a coincidence that you went hard just this one single time, when little Miss France was in your bed."
"Don't be ridiculous, Evan. Regulus obviously had erections before. I think you forgot that one time, when Vivien dropped her book and bent down in her miniskirt, almost showing him a little too much last semester."
"Wait, you mean that time in Three Broomsticks?"
"No, it was at the library, Cassie."
"So what happened at Three Broomsticks then?"
"Wasn't she playing with a spoon in her mouth?" Barty cut in.
"Yes, though I'm doubting the goal was to focus Regulus' eyes on them." Pandora said meaningfully.
She, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty all stared at Regulus, who rolled his eyes again. He felt his skin prickle under the collar of his shirt, his neck warming.
"Yes, I have an unhealthy sexual attraction to Vi, and it's as concerning as you all studying it. But I have a bigger problem than you pricks thinking I'm a pervert, which is Vi thinking that I'm a pervert, alright?"
"Wait, so you really think she's mad about that erection?" Evan scratched his quirked eyebrow, sceptical.
"I think so."
"You think so, Regulus? Vivien isn't really the type of person to be ashamed of erectionsโyou are."
"Thanks Cas."
He knew Vivien better than his friends knew her, and he had seen her disgusted stares directed at him the whole day. She had no other reason to be upset with him, hadn't she?
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ย ย ย ย ย During Herbology, Vivien felt Regulus take a seat beside her. Still, she ignored him. She ignored him the same way he had ignored her.
"It is most efficacious in the inflaming of the brain and is therefore much used in Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts, where the wizard is desirous of producing hot-headedness and recklessness." Professor Sprout talked.
Vivien tried to stay concentrated but she saw in the corner of her eyes Pandora communicating with Black, using her blueish irises. And she heard Barty snickering. And Sybill kept peeping at all of them, distracted.
Regulus kept staring at Vivien provocatively, drilling a hole in her head with the icicles of his eyes.
"What." She snapped silently after some time, facing him aggressively after he pierced her through.
"Are you really that angry about what happened in the morning?" He whispered, raising his eyebrows at her.
"Yes!" She whisper-shouted.
"Vi, I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I did. I was asleep." Regulus spoke, his words making Vivien even more mad.
She simmered all beneath her skin, reddening,
"Exactly. You didn't mean what you did in sleep and when I wanted to calm you about it, you avoided me and told me, Blahblahblah, I'm responsible. Classes start in two hours, so we have to go for them right fucking now." She frowned at him with her whole face.
Regulusโ face wrinkled, his eyebrows knitting together, his lips hanging open.
"You aren't trying to murder me the whole day because I had an erection in your bump? You are angry that I didn't let you comfort me?" Regulus blinked, asking her slowly.
His words caught his friends' ears.
Barty busted out loud into a laugh. Everyone in the classroom, including Sprout, looked at him.
Pandora and Sybill masked their giggles better. Vivien stared at Barty, and he cleared his throat, looking between Sprout and Vivien.
"Sorry, I remembered something hilarious, Professor." He said, lowering his face into his piece of parchment, pretending to note something.
Everyone quickly forgot that outburst and Vivien faced Regulus again, once Professor Sprout continued her lecture about sneezewort.
"I am angry because I didn't want to embarrass you and you embarrassed yourself! I woke you because I didn't want to lay there hugging your erection when you slept! But when I moved, you hugged me with it! And when I tried to tell you it's fine, you didn't let me and ignored me, stupid! I didn't blame you for what your body does. But it was the first morning we could properly share, and you messed it up! And I was there the whole time but you preferred another girl. You were a guest on my bed and you didn't even look at me!" She whispered harshly, mad at all over again. "This was not how this morning was supposed to go, stupid!"
Regulus couldn't stop himself from steadily grinning. Vivien saw his dimples and rolled her eyes. He showed her his teeth.
Vi wasn't disgusted with him! She was insulted, upset, and ignored! It wasn't good either, but at least she didn't think he was a pervert! Just a huge arsehole! Oh.....
But she was obviously jealous! Vivien was jealous that Regulus gave another girl the time of his day that she wanted from him!
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ย ย ย ย ย The young witch was walking ahead of her housemates after Herbology. She was leading the group of sixth-year Ravenclaws back to their house until someone grasped her sleeve and she spun around with her finger pointed.
"Firstly you lose your damn hearing, and secondly you're going blind? Don't you see I'm walking somewhere, Black?" She stabbed Regulus at his chest.
Even though she kept scowling at him, he seemed delighted with his sweet smile.
"More like you are stomping." Sybill commented.
She, Pandora, and Barty pushed past the couple with some other sixth-year Ravenclaws that snorted at the comment. They all were ignored by the two, becoming smaller and smaller the further away they walked.
"I am thinking that I could fix a little bit of what happened since today's morning was the first proper one we shared and it ended up awkward." Regulus spoke up.
"Because of you!" Vivien folded her arms over her chest.
"Because of me." He agreed, his hand travelling to the side of her neck. "So I thought that I could make it up to you after messing it up."
He dragged his thumb against the line of her throat.
"How do you want to make it up?" She stared at him, her face neutral, unimpressed.
Regulus smirked and leaned towards her.
"In every way you ask me to." He poked her nose with his whispering.
Vivien liked his promising words but her grin didn't break through her faรงade. She was still upset!
"Do you have a Time Turner? So you can go back and make sure you behave charmingly this morning?" She asked him dryly.
"No."
"So I don't think you can fix this. It's too late to charm me now."
"Maybe but I can make it up to you, if you give me a chance. I can make sure that when you wake tomorrow, you won't think about the stupid morning we had today but about the pleasant afternoon we can have now."
Regulus reached Vi's lips, stroking them gently. He felt her hand on his chest. She pushed him away. She looked at him with her eyebrows easingโsoftening into sadness.
"I hate how you can be naughty the way you were in the morning, and then you can be naughty the way you are right now, Regulus. I wanted to have this kind of naughty a few hours ago."
"I'm sorry, Vi." He drew his thumb against her throat. "I guess it will take me a few more tries to master sharing my morning with you." He smiled at her amorously.
Stupid... Vivien thought to herself. She yanked Regulus closer by his tie. He kept smiling against her lips. They moved together. She opened hers, letting him deepen the kiss, losing control in pleasure of it until she heard some whistling.
Vivien sprang from Black, bashful and reactive. They had to look like they sucked on each other's faces. She saw Ambrosie with his friendsโKingsley and Hestia. They were on their way to the Gryffindor Tower. Even though they were coming back from class, they were in good moods.
"Oh, don't mind us!" Kingsley said dramatically.
"Black, give my sister some space to breathe." Bambi grabbed Regulus' robe and pulled him away from Vivien.
"It seems your sister wants to breathe Black in."
Vivien bit her bottom lip, feeling like a lamb. She felt the warmth that fought for its place on her cheeks. Laughing, Hestia gripped the back of Ambrosieโs jumper. She gripped on Kingsley's too, dragging both boys away.
"You look good in pink, Vivi." She winked and Vivien lowered her face, smiling shyly.
"Oh, now you're shy, missy." Vivien heard Bambi before he and his friends disappeared, walking to the Gryffindor common room.
Regulus was smiling, observing the whole situation. He gazed at Vivien, who was hiding her face. He brought it up by her chin and saw how she was chewing on her bottom lip.
Right! Regulus was making Vivien shy!
"She's right. Pink is your colour."
"Shut up." She scoffed, turning her face to the side.
"Make me." He tempted.
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ย ย ย ย ย Some time later, the couple laid in Regulus' bed. Vi rested on her side. She and Regulus were glancing down at his trousers and the bulge she built there with her hips.
"I guess that's what I deserve today. No fun." He murmured, looking at the bulge. Oh.
"I had fun." Vivien claimed, tilting her head.
"Me too." Did you?
They had fun, but Vivien announced it was her fertile days and the make-out session came to an end, the mood of romance gone. Although Vivien was on potions for months, she was still terrified of those days sometimes.
Vivien was about to poke the bulge with her finger, but Regulus smacked her hand weakly.
"Don't."
"Why?" Vivien tangled her eyebrows tightly, looking at him.
"It will get harder." Regulus explained laconically, looking at her blankly.
Is he annoyed? What if he thinks I am just a flirt? Speak a lot, do a little. What if he thinks I'm using him? Does he already think that? He deserves better than this. He deserves somethingโanything-!
It was an impulsive thought rioting in Vivienโs mind.
I should-
Vivien closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath.
Shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt!, she silenced the inner voice that was talking silly shite.
"Are you alright?"
When she opened her eyes, Regulus was gazing at her with his brows softening.
"Just tired." She smiled faintly, nodding her head.
Regulus smiled and hooked his arm around Vivien, pulling her into his chest. He had no interest in what was going down in his trousers if Vivien didn't.
"What do we think about a nap?" He changed the topic. He could tell Vivien was tired a lot.
After the summer they had, they both were in need of another vacation.
Vi looked up at him, showing him her teeth and dimples in a gentle grin.
"Yeah?" He asked, smiling.
"Yes."
Vivien could use a napโespecially with Regulus by her sideโto feel secure that there was someone with her.
None of them had mentioned Nolan since the last day. Regulus accepted that it wasn't his place to ask Vivien questions, even though her relationship with Nolan raised many.
Regulus was worried. It was sickening for him to remember New Year's Eve and he couldn't even imagine how painful it was for Vi. She assured him that Nolan didn't threaten her, and it was all he needed to be aware of.
If Vivien wanted to open up to him, she would. He gave her space and time.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was sweating.
Fuck! Of course it wasn't his first time sweating, but that was a very moist time. He woke to Vivien spooning over him. It was adorableโit really wasโbut the problem was they both were dressed in their school uniforms, and Vivien was tightened around him like a knot. Good thing they took off their robes, at least!
She was very hot and in fact he didn't mean her temperament! Her legs were tangled around his hips, just as her arms were around his torso. He was being rolled around in her like she was his duvet. If duvets were meant to cause heatstroke!
"Vi," He murmured.
"Hmmm?" She hummed.
Regulus checked his watch. It was past six and he woke from time to time. He had seen Evan sneaking around the dormitory quietly to not disturb their sleep before. But now, he had a prefect patrol in less than two hours unfortunately.
"I have to get up for a while."
"Um-um!" She protested.
"Trust me, if it were a matter of choice, there wouldn't be any other choice than you."
Vivien squeezed him but mumbled, annoyed, "Just a few more minutes."
"You said that an hour ago."
"And I will say it in another one too."
Regulus smiled.
"Why don't I go for a shower and then come back here for a few more moments?"
"But the shower is in the bathroom."
"Yes, it is." He chuckled.
"That's too far away."
"How far can I go, Vi?" She slightly raised herself over him.
"Like one step away from me is maximum, Regulus." She placed her hand on his chest, his resting on her waist.
"You would hate the prefect patrol."
Vivien nodded in agreement.
"I would, but..." For a moment she wondered if it was appropriate.
But it didn't have to be sexual. She didn't need sexua l. She needed Regulus, and she hoped he would understand it.
"I-I would love a bath." She stuttered out and looked down at her hand on his chest nervous to be misread as a flirt.
"You want a bath with me?"
She nodded shyly.
"If you want a non-sexual bath with me, Rebulus. We would be naked, but to-"
"Bathe?"
"Yh-ym."
"I would love having someone to scrub my back." Regulus squeezed her before planted a blooming kiss on her forehead.
Soon, she slipped down to the side, letting go of him.
Vivien decided to act like the last week of her life hadn't happened and Regulus tolerated it. He didn't push her around for it. She knew that that week had happened and it affected her well-being.
She was thinking about Nolan again. Back in Hogwarts, O'Sullivan was one of her problems again. She could confide in Regulus. He became her friend and she could trust him. She wasn't scared about Regulus not believing her. She was scared about admitting the things she had done for a boy and the things a boy had done to her.
She was so scared of how she let someone treat her and force her to do things that her body still remembered the pain of even months later. Tears gathering in her eyes were a reminder that she was still wearing the skin Nolan touched. She couldn't take it off like she could with her undergarments and miniskirts to wash them. Until she couldn't take it off, she was still the skin that Nolan used and abused and she was still the girl who let it happen.
She sat in the bed overflowing with all those thoughts, waiting for the bath.
It didn't take long for Regulus to prepare one. The bath was bubblyโthat's all Vivien needed! Regulus left the bathroom, so she could undress and hide in the bubbles if she needed some privacy to get comfortable. When he returned, she was already curled into a ball on one end of the bathtub, leaving a lot of space for him. Before he got undressed, he collected her clothes from the ground, putting them all in a laundry basket after she threw them everywhere but there.
Vivien observed Black cleaning up the mess she made. And she observed him taking his uniform off.
Vivien gazed at him with the back of her head placed against the edge of the bathtub. After taking every piece of clothing, he threw it in the basket. His tie, button-up, and socks were gone when he began undoing his belt. Vivien kept gazing because he didn't act bashful. As he was unzipping his trousers, she had to look away. She was the abashed one. She stared at the wall, chewing on the meat of her cheek.
Vivien knew it was just the first layer and under it there was anotherโRegulus' boxersโand that thought made her flush. It was a new experience for Viโbeing seen naked and seeing naked in a non-sexual situation. Although she had more partners than Regulus, he seemed to be the one fine about taking his boxers off so casually in front of her.
Vivien heard Regulus approach the bathtub, and she looked him up and down. She never had a chance to actually take a proper look at naked Regulus like that. There were two things Vivien had never before noticed about Regulus.
One of them was the birthmark on his left inner thighโthe one on his groin!
Personally, the birthmark didn't seem like a cat to Vivienโmore like a cow with a tail up in the air. But that cow was thereโexactly like Cowecto giggled about!
Vivien dug her nails into her shoulders. It's just a coincidence! Maybe Cowecto walked on him changing or peeped through a keyhole while he was in the bathroom...
"You look cute in pink." Regulus took the worries off Vivien's mind for a moment. She rolled her eyes at him.
"And you look better dressed."
"No, I don't." He smirked confidently to tease more. "Am I making you shy, Vi?"
"Am I making you indecent, doll?"
"Extremely."
Vivien bit her bottom lip, hypnotised by the way Regulus was bantering with her. Bastard!, confidence suited him.
Regulus rested on his end of the bathtub, gazing at her. He wasn't doing anything but letting his eyes observe. They were always treating her so lovingly that she felt encouraged to let herself rest too. Vivien loosened her arms that she was hugging herself with to hide her chest. She was insecure about her breasts. She thought they were looking strange and unsymmetrical but at that moment, they were somewhat hidden in the bubbles. She lowered her hands onto her belly.
Regulus didn't react. His pupils didn't even twitchโthey stayed on Vivien's face. He kept glancing at her, not once groping on her with a lustful look and violating her like other boys did oftentimes. He was simply marvelling the view she was.
But whether Regulus liked it or notโhe didn't!โhe had to wash himself, if he didn't want to freeze, walking around the castle barely out of water. Vi was observing him the whole time he was freshening himself up.
"Could you?" He offered a sponge to her.
She straightened a little, when he was already turning his back to her. She opened her legs so he could sit between her feet. She was trying to delicately rub the scrubby part on his skin that was turning reddish.
"Say if it's too hard."
"It's not." He assured.
Vivien kept drawing different patterns on his back, like zigzags and waves. He was smiling because of how she was playing on his skin. He appreciated her technique. Once Vivien saw how Regulus' pearly skin shone, polished, she put the sponge away.
"Done." She murmured.
"Not yet." He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he was turning into his previous position. "Now it's time to scrub you, stinky."
Regulus' tone was genuinely kind but it didn't soothe Vivien. She felt self-conscious because with passing time the bubbles bursted out and water became crystal clear, exposing anything beneath it. And Regulus could see her. She wanted to curl back into a ball.
During sex with Regulus, it was easier to hide her flaws because their minds were so clouded that everything appeared so heavenly in the mist.
Regulus let Viviein hide her chest from him, but he locked his fingers around her right ankle to begin with.
Regulus was like a guardian angel. He was caring. It didn't feel forced from him, and it definitely didn't feel like he tried to force that care on Vivien. He was delicate, pressing the scratchy side of the sponge on her skin. He massaged her like he was afraid of ripping her. He always gave her a chance to say no to his help. She didn't. When Vivien put her hands down her body to wash herself, Regulus did not even gawk.
He cleansed the sponge despite how Vivien squinted her eyes the whole time he was washing himself. Isn't he going to erect from touching himself?
Vivien was very curious about boys, and that one didn't mock her for that! It occurred to Regulus that he knew more about her body than Vivien knew about his.
Regulus helped her wash her hair, and while he was washing her back someone interrupted their solitude.
"Vivien in here!" Out of habit she shouted, forgetting she was neither at home nor at least in her own dormitory.
"Vivien? Right. Of course. Vivien. Sorry, Vivien. Are you-are you fine in there?"
"Perfectly fine."
"Great. Yes. Errrโฆ do you know where Regulus is?"
Vivien peeped over her shoulder at the said boy. He shrugged his shoulders grimacing. She shrugged hers, mimicking him.
Regulus groaned, "What do you need, Evan?"
"What-what are you doing in there, mate?!" Rosier asked, suddenly disgusted, his tone dripping with it.
He sounded like one of Vivien's brothers. He sounded like a brother! Her brother! Why is he sounding like that?, she frowned.
"I'm bathing?" Regulus responded.
"When Vivien is?"
Vivien lowered her brows deeper. They all were a little stupified by each other.
"We're bathing together." She elaborated.
"Oh... Oh! Sorry!"
"Did you want something, mate?" Regulus rolled his eyes.
"Right, yes. Barty tells me to remind you about patrol. Eight-"
"First floor, I remember." He mused boredly.
"Great. I'm leaving. Have a good time. Not a great one, though."
Vivien and Regulus weren't ashamed about getting caught bathing together but the mood of their bath was quite ruined after reality crushed their moments of bliss.
Still, Regulus kept recreating the illusion of their little idyll. He moved the sponge against Vi's back for the last time and she felt a trail of sweet kisses marking her skin. His mouth strolled from her left shoulder to the right one, causing a spasm to go through her body.
Regulus came out of the bathtub. Vivien was shaking her feet off, not worried she didn't have anything with herselfโlike not-dirty clothesโbecause she knew Regulus was prepared. He gave her his clean towel. She wrapped herself in it, and he walked away to the cabinet where he had prepared clothes for them. Vivien sneaked behind Regulus. It was silly because he could see her in the mirror but she tried to be sneaky. She laid her hands on his hips and hugged her front against his bare back. She softly kissed him on the shoulder.
"Thank you, Regulus."
He smiled, showing her his dimples that warmed her heart. She saw them in a reflection.
Regulus turned around to really show her them.
"I actually have something for you, Vi."
She beamed brightly, surprised. She observed him taking something out from the pile of folded clothes. The jumper. It was striped in two coloursโforest green and black. It was the jumper that Vivien stole from Regulus and wore one August night. Her eyes sparked happily at the sight of it.
"For me?" She looked at Regulus through her eyelashes with such pure eyes that he knew it wasn't the pretended innocence that she had used to seduce him.
"For you."
Vivien took the jumper carefully and brought it up to her nose. She sniffed it. It smelled musky. It had a smoky and complex scent of wood. It was fresh pine. It was a chilling aroma, causing Vi to think about snowy evenings spent by a fireplace.
It smells like Regulus! With eyes of imagination, Vivien saw them two cuddling together on the sofa during one of those snowy evenings. Once she opened her real eyes, she was met with real Regulus leaning his naked back against the cabinet. He had his arms crossed over his chest, gazing at her daydreaming.
"I like it." She snuggled it to her cheek.
They stood like this and Vivien's green eyes travelled down Regulus' bare body. From his chest to his belly and even lower, her hands clenching on the jumper.
Regulus started feeling self-conscious when Vivien was staring at him so much. Was something wrong with it in her opinion?!
"It's different-" Vivien regretted opening her mouth immediately.
"Different?" Regulus furrowed his eyebrows at his own genitals, straightening.
"From other boys." She murmured, regretting that she mentioned other boys. Boys didn't like hearing about other boys.
Regulusโ stomach twisted sickly. Was Vivien always thinking about other boys when she was with him? What did she mean by it is different from others she had seen?
"Did someone hurt you too, Regulus?" Vi almost whispered, once they looked at each other uncertainly.
Regulus appeared disoriented, and she pointed her finger at his cock.
"You have a scar there."
The second thing Vivien had never noticed about Regulus was a pinkish mark around his length. She had never looked at him like that before. All naked in front of her.
Oh. Regulus discovered the mystery of Vi watching his cock so much.
"I guess other boys weren't circumcised?"
Vivien shook her head.
"Is it that? A circumcising?" What the fuck is that?!
"Circumcision." He corrected. "But yes."
"Does it hurt?"
"No, I had it done as an infant."
"Why?"
"Out of my parents' beliefs and preferences. Potentially, it prevents future diseases and makes it easier to keep it healthy and clean. It's useful when a boy becomes sexually active. You know, if I had that foreskin and took poor care of it, then when it would go into some girl she could catch an infection easier."
Ouch. Vivien felt that kind of frustration that made her want to scalp herself and then the other girl. There was this stabbing feeling in her heart.
'Some girl'... Is there 'some girl'? Is Alecto 'some girl'? Am I 'some girl' too? Are there any other 'some girl's? Any 'some girl's? How many of 'some girl's are there? Alecto surely is some girl. And so am Iโฆ
All the thoughts made Vivien want to scalp Regulus too. Scalp him out of his stupid soft curls as a punishment for making her feel like that.
She did her best to push the feeling to the side.
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ย ย ย ย ย When Regulus left the bathroom, Vi followed him.
Evan, Barty, and Dorcas noticed how she was holding the legs of Regulus' pyjama bottoms. They were slacking on her. Regulus was a few inches taller than her, and if she wasn't holding those trousers' legs, they would mop the ground. Vivien looked up at them spread out on the couch. Dorcas sat between two boys, and Barty rested his head on her thighs while his legs were hanging over the armrest. Evan sat with legs crossed, tapping his foot up and down.
"Hi," She waved her hand, letting one leg of the bottoms, dropping it on the floor. "I never noticed Regulus is such a big boy." She said, grasping it again.
They erupted like overboiling cauldron and Regulus squinted his eyes at Vivien over his shoulder, while trying to look through his school bag.
"He is, isn't he?" Barty teased, but Regulus pointed his stare at him. =
His tone was too suspicious and meaningful for Regulus' preferences.
Vivien's eyes widened, and she looked away, turning pink. Barty took his chance to bug her after she openly admitted to having sex with Regulus.
Evan and Cassie saw her reaction. Dorcas grinned, a glimmer of brilliance flickering in her brown eyes. Evan squinted his eyes between Barty, Vivien, and Regulus.
Regulus dug out his wand out of his school bag and came closer to sheepish Vivien. He kneeled in front of her and looked up at her, smiling. He pointed at the bottoms with the wand.
"Reducio." He murmured.
Vivien felt how the trousers shrank to her size.
"Thank you." She smiled at Regulus as he was standing up.
The couple gazed at each other as if they were still alone in the bathroom.
Before anything happened, they heard Cassie murmur, "I hate couples."
Vivien and Regulus looked at her.
"Couples of best friends." He corrected, gritting those words through his teeth, suspecting his friends to snicker.
All three of them howled like a pack of wolves in Regulus' face.
Vivien looked lost between Regulus, Evan, Cassie, and Barty.
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ย ย ย ย ย Before Regulus left with Cassie and Barty, he kissed Vi on the forehead like every good friend would do to their best friend and Evan promised to take care of her. Before the dorm door closed behind Barty, he winked at Evan.
Vivien noticed that, sitting on one of the beds with her legs folded and her eyebrows raisingโintrigued with that mysterious behaviour. Evan spun around to her, ignoring that tiny interaction, beside the pink flush of his cheek, amorous dusting them.
"So what do foxes do before sleep?"
"Actually foxes are about to wake up from sleep to haunt now. They are night animals, and their eyes are perfectly adapted to dark vision at night." Vivien smiled, letting go of that interaction too, hoping that when Evan would be ready, he would tell her what that secretive behaviour was about.
"So haunting? In the serpents' dungeon?" He chuckled cheekily, dimples in his cheeks molding.
"Don't flatter Slytherin. At best what I saw here are snakes, which, by the wayโfoxes eat them."
"Let's see if a little fox can survive in a snake nest then." Evan walked to the bed, offering an arm for Miss Beauchรชne.
"I would bite a snake head before it would even hiss at me." She accepted the polite gesture.
Vivien never had a chance to be in and look around the Slytherin common room. It was a dimly lit and cold place. Truly unwelcoming. Vivien felt bad for younger children. She wasn't surprised the house had an ill reputation.
"If at eleven, someone put me in here, I would become unstable too." She said, hopping on one of many comfy sofasโthe only good quality about the Slytherin common room.
Evan cracked, resting beside her.
"You are unstable, Vivianne." Rosalie Parkinson commented, passing the two with a stack of books hugged to her chest.
Evan stopped laughing, taken aback.
Vivien laughed even more. "Fair."
Alecto sitting near them with Florentine and her two peasants stared at Vivien as soon as she noticed her leaving the boys dormitory, wearing Regulus' clothes, his best friend with her as she had seen Black leave for his prefect patrol.
It was too much to see Beauchรชne getting homely on the Slytherin couch and Florentine's older sister not giving a single shite about it. None seemed to give a shite that Beauchรชne was there but her. Alecto sprang and marched towards Vivien and Evan giggling foolishly. Her friends' eyes followed after her when their bodies didn't keep up.
"You know what is not fair?"
Vivien looked at Alecto approaching her and Evan, making their joy disappear. Carrow stood in front of them and Evan crossed his arms over her chest.
"House elves are doing the dirtiest work when there is such a slag to mop the floor. You, dirt laying on that untouched sofa, is not fair."
"Are you the one to clean this sofa from the dirt I am?" Vivien rolled her eyes.
Carrow put her hand up to her heart, laughing as if to express Moi?
Evan groaned, throwing his head to the back.
"Exactly, so piss off, Alecto." He looked at her annoyedly, irritated.
"Seriously, Rosier? You are on her side?"
Cowecto looked at him, noticing how Vivien had her leg laid across his thigh and their shoulders kept touching. She smirked repulsively at the picture.
"Oh, I see how it is. You are done with wanking off now and are waiting to stuff your cock in the little vitch when Reg finishes with her. With all that dirty work you do, mopping floors shouldn't be an issue, slag." Carrow's soulless eyes focused once more on Vivien accusingly.
Evan leaped to his feet after a titter of Carrow's peasants carried from the corner of the room merrily.
"Are you mad, Alecto? Because your dirty work of sucking everyone off didn't pay off, and even Snape looked down at you blowing his flute."
Alecto backed away because he towered over her. He ridiculed her with his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
Vivien's mouth opened slightly when their corners twitched. Evan Rosier can be arrogant? Maybe his appearance isn't my type, but that attitude surely is.
"Maybe you should follow pure-blood traditions and try with your brother." Vivien picked her jaw up from the ground and added to Evan's mean remark.
Carrow scoffed, her lips twisted poisonously
"No, I think I will stick with Reggie."
Vivien felt the stabbing feeling at her heart once more. She tried to pretend there was no cow-shaped birthmark on Black's skin so close to his crotch that Alecto described, but she casually reminded her about it.
Vi jumped, ready to scratch off that stupid fake smile from the other girl's face. Carrow giggled venomously, when Evan caught Vivien in his arms.
"No biting heads off, foxy."
"But she's hissing at me!"
Vivien struggled, but Evan was twice her size and like four times stronger than she was.
"No need to get aggressive, foxy. It's no shame to be Regulus' phase. Many girls would die to be at least that. But remember that with you he does what he has to, and with me he does what he likes to."
"I guess Reg must love avoiding you since that's pretty much all he does with you." Evan commented, holding Vivien back.
"Oh, does he?" Alecto tilted her head. "His little vitch doesn't seem to agree."
She winked at Vivien, walking away. Vivien stopped fighting Evan. Her eye twitched at Carrow. Evan loosened his arms around Vivien, examining her. She kept throwing daggers with her eyes, hoping one of them would literally stab Cowecto.
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ย ย ย ย ย For the rest of the evening, Evan didn't dare to ask a question on the topic, although Alecto's words caused many of them to gather in his head. He tried to keep Vivien entertained and focused on anything else.
He was unsuccessful and Vivien went to bed, bitter about Regulus.
When Regulus returned from his prefect patrol, the first thing he did was fall on the mattress beside Vi. She lay with her back facing him and the whole room, where Evan was sneaking around. She felt him lock his arm around her waist to bring her closer. Still, she pretended to sleep. She hummed quietly and moved away in her fake sleep. Regulus let her.
"Sleeping?" He asked.
"Yh-ym." She hummed quickly. Too quickly.
Vi's behaviour raised no suspicion for Regulus until that hum. He figured out she was not asleep, only faking. He shared a glance with Evan, who shrugged.
Notes:
so i've been kind of busy, and i don't have time to read books rn nor do i want to because of the uni (i'm stuck like on page 10 of "the secret history" since october which is ironic choice of lecture because i've started studying latin and classic greek in october) but last weekend, i had some time and i decided to finish my old "to read" list on wattpad for funsies. of course, i got to the regulus black ff... OH MY GOD! i remember now why i kind of began writing this ff because why the hell did i have read that this skinny, seventeen years old dead boy told the oc he wants to fuck her until she bleeds, and then chapters later he fisted her...! i've been physically hurting since sunday, and the author of that ff was like "lubrication and relaxation" in comments... gurl, i'm calling the police, who the fuck hurt you! for science, i had to check how big ten iches are because of that smutty ff, and in shock, i double checked that this skinny boy has bigger cock than i have a head (i have a round face if that matters). he could literally impale me with a fucking cock! where he does keep it? where?! FUCKING WHERE?! i get it. people like different things; teenage girls like different things. i get the idea of separaiting your book preferences from real life preferences, i even get the idea of expermenting. but if anyone reads this, it's okay to like the things that don't hurt and i'm sorry to tell you but if the person you like likes when you're getting violatedโthey're the issue (i'm sorry, hoping you're okay). in no way, anyone will convince me it would actually be pleasurable to have a fist shoved up between my legs. to me, it seems that liking being beaten or to beat someone in bed is an unpacked issue. there's a lot of frustration buliding up in me every day, and most of them i wish to smash my head into the wall. but if someone raised a hand at me in a fucking bed? this would be the last time this person had hands. so please if you're reading things like those and you're telling yourself that is what you look in a boy, it's okay if actually you don't. and if you really do. fine, i understand if someone wants to expermient with a hardcore thingies (not me though, stay safe yall) but it's like the whole manner surrounding the actโhow the person treats you before, during, and after. none cannot tell me they feel good and not used, when their person calls them a loose whore etc before, they slaps them in the face or worse during, and after they leave them all alone. i will never get the abusive toxic trope in books. i get lovers to enemiesโit's spicyโit's tastefulโbut what i've read wasn't enemies to lovers anymore. that was bad to worse. it went from offence and misconduct to felony and crime real quick. and the oc was "he's so different! he wanted to hug me after he violated me<3 such a lover boy<3".
Chapter 20: hot and cold
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne had been avoiding the Astronomy classroom for over four months. After what took place there back in May, she ditched Astronomy. Vivien adored Professor Chandra, and she had perfect attendance for their subject for almost four years. As she didn't show for three lessons in a row before O.W.Ls, it went unnoticed. Later on Chandra had hurriedly left Hogwarts at the beginning of June and returned at the end of September.
Did you hear that Chandra is back?
Really?
Yes. They were at lunch.
Vivien had been gathering courage to finally visit the classroom since she heard the news from Rosaire. She was nervous for her first Astronomy class in the sixth year. She knew what happened in the classroomโRegulus knew, her friends knew, and other students knew. Probably, even Chandra knew.
Everyone knew what Vivien had done there. Vivien wondered if Regulus was as ashamed about visiting that place as she was.
Vivien left her dormitory with her dormmates before twelve o'clock. And they all saw Vivien's fearful face. She kept stopping them from leaving. Once they did, she was dragging her feet through the castle like she was a shadow stretching after them. Every step Vivien took made her stomach flip from the stress.
Everyone knows what you little whore did! That you opened your legs for a boy, stole his virginity, and forgot your own undergarment! You are such a whore that you forget about wearing your own panties!
Vivien felt hollow and light-headed. With a trembling hand, she grasped Pandora's and Sybill's hands. They looked down at her, four of them already walking upstairs. Emmaline paused. They looked at Vivien and her eyes overflowed with tears.
"I can't." She whispered, ready to spin around and run away-
Zahara approached them, walking upstairs too.
"Hi girls." She smiled.
And Vivien panickedโshe frantically clenched on the railing.
"Is everything fine?" Zahara immediately laid her hand on her shoulder, seeing her panic and stress.
"She's scared." Pandora piped in with a gentle tone.
"What of?"
"Of the Astronomy Tower."
"Oh..." The answer enlightened Zahara. She rubbed Vivien's shoulder tenderly. "Do you want to go?"
The two eyed each other. Vivien was aware she couldn't avoid the classroom forever and that she couldn't avoid Astronomy forever.
She shook her head stiffly, her muscles tense. She was never the bravest.
Vivien walked upstairs with her friends and her heart hopped out of her chest. She was faced with other sixth-year students staring at them. At her.
Vivien saw Regulus, Evan, Barty, and Cassie sitting at one of the long desks in the front of the classroom. There were free places reserved for the girls. One even between Regulus and Evan.
Vi was the first to move with her face lowered towards her shoes. She sat down the most further away from Regulus. On her sides sat Zahara and Sybill. By Sybill sat Emmeline with Dorcas and Barty. To Bartyโs right sat Evan, and Pandora took the reserved seat between him and Regulus. Both boys looked at her and the rest of the girls, Barty and Cassie equally bewildered.
Vivien raised her head and stared straight at the sky in front of her. It was shameful that she stared at the same sky that she had gazed at during one night in May. In front of her was the exact floor that Regulus and she lay stripped on, doing such a sinful thing. Vivien saw out of the corner of her eyes that Pandora leaned towards Regulus and whispered into his ear. He nodded, his face laced with worry. Pandora whispered to Evan, and he repeated her words to Barty and Dorcas.
Regulus suspected that Vivien revealed the truth about that one night to all of her friends, but it wasn't his worry. She was. He would be lying, saying that place wasn't bringing him back to the heavenly act, but he wasn't nervous about it. It was easier for him because he wasn't the one getting humiliated about the events of that one beautiful night that was devastated for Vi forever. She was clenching on her Astronomy volume, staring stubbornly at nothing until a howl came from the back of the classroom,
"Oi, Vivien, isn't this place bringing good memories? Am I right, Black?" Doyle chuckled, and the Carrow twins laughed the loudest.
Vivien felt like crying. She shut her eyes, putting her hand over her face as it grew hot. Normally she would have something witty to say, but it was so hurtful that she couldn't think straight.
"There is no need for jealousy because none can say this to you, Mister Mulciber."
Regulus was about to respond as Professor Chandra walked upstairs. The laughter died out in silence.
"For a good start, I might remind some of you that there is no place for harassment in Hogwarts, and surely there is no place for bullying in my class."
They warned, making Vivien open her eyes. She was about to smile desperately at Chandra, but her heart dropped at their white kurtas and trousers.
She only bowed her head. They did the same.
Vasu was the coolest person Vivien had ever met! They were in their late twenties but looked younger. In ten years, the young witch wanted to be as cool as Vasu or nothing. After the class ended, she was lazily packing her school bag.
"Everything's alright?" Dorcas approached her, everyone watching her. The classroom would be emptied, if it wasnโt for the group.
"Yes." She looked up at Cassie, nodding her head.
"With that speed of packing your things you can just stay here until Astronomy class next week, little fox." Evan was tapping his foot impatiently.
Vivien hummed, everyone watching her clown.
"I actually wanted to talk to Chandra." She admitted quietly, looking at them leaning against the railing, observing the night sky.
Teenagers looked between each other and began leaving quietly. Rosier frowned but Barty grabbed his wrist and yanked him after himself. Regulus was the last one to start leaving as he kept glancing over his shoulder suspiciously.
Zahara rolled her eyes. Was imbecile jealous about the damn teacher?! She stepped up behind him, pushing him on the back repeatedly. Vivien watched her friends disappear down the staircase. She packed her bag, picked it up, stood up, and slowly came closer to Chandra. As they heard silent steps, they turned towards her.
"Miss Beauchรชne, is there any trouble?" They smiled sincerely.
"No, no. It's just good to have you back, Professor." Vivien beamed like one of the blinking stars in the sky.
"It's good to see you too. I deeply regret that you were absent during the last class previous semester, Miss Beauchรชne."
"Yes, I'm sorry for that, Professor. I was-um-" Vivien couldn't find the right words to lie.
"Indisposed?" Professor Chandra quirked an eyebrow at her.
"Exactly." Vivien nodded her head a little too eagerly.
Visu chuckled.
"I'm so sorry for your loss, Professor." She said suddenly, causing them to fix their eyes on her.
Vivien had something else on her mindโthe reason why she stayed behind.
"Whoever they were, I'm sure they are looking out for you from the sky."
Visu smiled faintly. Of course Vivien would know. She was always too clever for her own good.
"In my family village there was an outbreak of spattergroit. My father caught it. He had a weak immune system but fought a very long battle for his life."
"I'm sorry."
"I appreciate your kind words. Now Miss Beauchรชne, go back to your house. It's getting late. And tell Mister Black it's impolite to eavesdrop."
Vivien tightened her lips into a thin line and nodded her head. She walked away towards the staircase, ready to push Black off them but-
"Actually... Regulus, Vivien."
Vivien faced Visu uncertainly, her eyebrows raised. They waited for Black, who was hiding somewhere on the staircase. He climbed upstairs.
"Yes?" He smiled innocently, standing beside Vivien.
Visu glanced between the couple standing closely to each other. They put their hands behind their back.
"I'm sorry about your engagement. You both don't deserve it." They said, smiling sadly.
Vivien's face fell.
Regulus and her felt the same resentment. Everyone could tell the match they were, was created from Vivien's hatred and expectations set for Regulus.
Black cleared his throat, uncomfortable with being exposed like that, feeling naked.
"Thank you, Visu." Vivien's voice was so quiet that it was barely even a whisper.
Without another word, she passed Regulus and began leaving, her stomach twisting.
Regulus and Visu bowed heads at each other politely before he went after the young witch.
Vivien felt a hand on her back after Regulus caught up to her, keeping up with her pace.
"Hi,"
She smiled, but she didn't say her shy Hi like always. They walked downstairs in silence until they stopped at the exit of the tower.
"Are you alright?"
Vivien eyed Regulus.
She shook her head. "No."
They stood, gazing at each other. Vivien felt guilty but she couldn't stop the disgust filling her guts when Regulus was touching her. The memories of what had happened left a sickly sour taste on her tongue, making her nauseous.
When his hand travelled so freely on her to lock around her waist, she shut her eyes.
"Don't."
Regulus and Vivien still hadn't talked about their boundaries and his hand slowly fell from her body, understanding.
"You won't be sleeping in my bed tonight, will you, Vi?" He tilted his head, smiling faintly.
Vivien swallowed.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this tonight." She murmured before walking away with her school bag packed for a night at Regulus' dormitory.
Regulus stood rotted to the ground, watching her go.
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ย ย ย ย ย After Astronomy class, Vivien didn't keep her distance from Regulus for too long.
During breakfast, he was eating with Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, and Evanโand Vivien tiptoed to him with her finger on her lips to keep their friends silent. Soon, she threw herself on Regulus. He was surprised but he recognised the arms that attacked him in such an affectionate act within a second. And his nose smelled the cinnamon and apples. Vivien felt Regulus' hands grasp hers. She hid her face in his neck.
"I'm sorry." Vi murmured against his skin.
Regulus wasn't the one to blame, but what had happened was a hurtful memory to her, leaving her sick.
Their friends saw how Vivien traced Regulusโ neck and cheek with small kisses like she was drawing a map until she left the biggest one on his hair. They saw her sad smile that matched Regulusโ.
He kissed her hands softly as she murmured her apology to him.
Regulus didn't think she had anything to apologise for. He understood that what had happened was difficult for her.
And after that, Vi was safe and fussy again.
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ย ย ย ย ย Beauchรชne, did you do something to get detention?
I broke Nolan's nose.
And I asked you if you did something to deserve detention. This one doesn't sound that serious to me.
I don't think I understand, Professor.
Me as well, child. Do you want me to give you detention?
"Did McGonagall approve of me breaking Nolan O'Sullivan's nose?" Vivien asked Pandora and Barty.
"I think she has a soft spot for you." Pandora commented, her hand locked around Vivien's.
They were just going in the direction of the Charms classroom after they passed McGonagall and Vivien tried to use her chance to ask her about her punishment.
"I think she just doesn't like Nolan." Vivien claimed.
Barty opened his mouth-
"Vivien!"
The young witch recognised the voice in the crowd. She would always recognise it anywhere anytime. Great. And I was about to miss him.
"Go, go!" She whispered harshly at Barty and Pandora, crushing her wrist.
Pandora gripped tightly on her bag to not drop it because of Vivien's sudden reaction.
"Don't even try, Vivien!" Potter approached them, pushing through other students.
"Oh, fuck off!" She grimaced, unsatisfied with how nothing ever was going her way.
"In your dreams!" James said with a tone as dissatisfied as hers.
Vivien whined at Potter coming closer to her but Barty pushed himself in front of her, separating her from him.
"Leave her alone."
Vivien felt how Pandora squeezed her gently in support.
"I have to talk with her, git." Potter grumbled, eying Vivien, who was glancing over Barty's broad shoulder, standing on her toes to see anything.
Vivien had been awaiting to see how fast James would find her to talk about the rumour Sullivan was spreading around like a plague. She looked to the side at Pandora, who shook her head in disapproval, noticing how her green eyes sparked. Vivien's curiosity won over, and she tapped Barty on his shoulder. He glanced over it at her.
"I will talk with him." Barty took a double glance at her.
She nodded her head and he moved to the side.
Vivien walked away to the closest classroom and Potter followed. James entered the room first. Vivien barely closed the door and she faced him, when James Potter stood into her face, his neck red, a vein pulsing there. She could see another vein pulsing on his temple.
"Why the hell did you tell O'Sullivan about us?!" He snarled into her face.
Her stomach twisted.
Vivien blinked. James never growled at her like that. She never had heard him sound so venomous and furious.
As if I have nothing else to be concerned about. He gave up on apologising for what it's worth!, which was worth nothing.
"What?" She simply asked.
"That arsehole is walking around school, shitting on me because you 'slagged around' with me, when you two were still a thing!"
"Me and him were never a thing like that." Vivien laughed out loud in desperation.
"That's all you heard from what I said?!" James scolded her in disbelief, his face scowling and crooking.
"What do you want me to say?" She shrugged.
"Why the hell do you go around digging out this shite now?!"
"It is not now! It's been months!" She gesticulated.
It was nine months beforeโon New Year's Eve to be exact. And no matter how hard Vivien tried to forget that evening, there was always someone to remind her about it.
"Why the fuck would you tell him at all?!"
"It was an accident. Mistake!"
"Oh, sure! Everything with you is a fucking mistake!"
Vivien's lips quivered, opening in shock. James Potter was making her speechless. Her heart dropped, passing her stomach on its way. How the fuck he dares!
"What the fuck did you just say?!"
"Is it like revenge?! Are you trying to destroy everything to punish me?! Now when Lily is so close to giving me a chance, you have to destroy it for me because of some silly joke! If you don't want everyone to call you a slag, don't open your legs for any boy who gives you a few minutes of his time, Vivien! It's pathetic and sad! But I think I understand the struggle of being listened to when you are such a shite-talker!" He poked her in the shoulder. "Just because you are going down with every step you take, doesn't mean you can bring everyone else down with you, Vivien! Be independent for once and go to hell on your own!"
Her fist tightened, her nails sinking into her skin. She boiled, her face painting red. She frowned her eyebrows madly.
She was furious! What Potter had said belonged even lower than hell!
"You know what is pathetic?!"
Vivien gritted through her teeth, pushing him away with her finger.
"You coming to meโyour best friendโhysterical that your little fascination of almost six years hates you after you publicly humiliated her friend and she got humiliated back for it! And then putting your cock between those widely open legs of mine and confess how much you love me, and always have and always will!"
She mocked but the words tasted bitter on her tongue. She stabbed him in the chest repeatedly.
"And you still got rejected by meโso-called slut! Like, that's really fucking sad, if you ask me." She chuckled. "Even an attention-seeking slut knows she deserves better than being your second choice! And if Evans is really about to give you a chanceโshe is even more naรฏve than she seems. Silly Lily is going to be so surprised once you disappoint her. Because that's what you really are about, James, and you will disappoint her! The question is: how much time will it take you? Two weeks, eleven months, or sixteen years? You know what? I don't even feel sorry for her. If she's stupid enough to give you a chance after these six years, you two deserve each other and this tasteful failure you two will always end up as."
Vivien remained grounded as James was shooting daggers at her with his sharp eyes after she taunted him in the rudest manner she could think of.
Vivien decided that James Fleamont Potter would never again disappoint her. He and his shitty friends. Those eight were someone, who Vivien used to know because the person standing in front of her wasn't Jamie. It was someone she barely knew. She knew that boy's second name. She knew that he was born on the 27th day of March and that red was his favourite colour, but she didn't know what kind of person he was.
"To be honest, I don't even hate you, Jamesโbecause I don't know who you actually are, and truly I wish I will never find out." Vivien licked her lips, her mouth dry.
She was about to slip by him, but she stopped, placing her hand on his shoulder. She patted him softly.
"I'm glad we had that talk, and I hope we'll never have it again. Have a day." A muscle in his jaw twitched, when he stared at her. Vivien smiled and marched away. She opened the door, leaving.
Pandora and Barty were leaning on the wall beside the door. Rora was hugging her books to her chest, and Barty had his arm around her shoulder, embracing her.
Vivien realised they heard what she and Potter argued about. They heard what he said and what she said so rawly. Vivien's mouth stayed shut. She turned in the direction of Flitwick's classroom.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was aware it would be a step-by-step process for Vivien to learn to be a best friend. It was not Regulus' place to judge. Especially when she was upset with himโbecause she was for some reason. She was avoiding him. AGAIN!
Seven days of silence followed by a day of cold and hot, and now four days in a row of suspicious glares she stormed him with. And they were friends so shortly. Regulus knew that this arranged engagement would be his death. Still, he wouldn't trade Vi for anything else.
Vivien had a lot on her mind to stress about. Regulus assumed she was overwhelmed and needed time to get used to how things changed over the summer. Nolan, her brothers, that engagement, Sirius, Potter, and the rest of her shitty ex-friendsโฆ
The list could go on. She had a lot to stress about and somehow Regulus seemed to freak her out the most. After long years of partnership, sharing schoolmates, and being in the same year, what he knew about Vi was that her mood was always based on her surroundings.
Someone had to tell her something or she had to see something and probably misread it.
Regulus decided not to confront her about it. There were some things she had to learn alone, if she wanted this friendship to succeed.
Not speaking out for herself was one of those things. He knew him acting unbothered would simply bother her enough to speak up. He was right of course.
Evan's chin rested in his hand as he was mumbling, "So none of you have bought wands? You had them modeled for you?"ย
"Yes." Vivien nodded, her nose in a book and her brows knitted. "I don't understand. You go to this Mister Ollivander, and he gives you all the wands until one of them chooses you." She tilted her head from the book. "What does it mean that it chose you? Shouldn't it be dedicated to you?"
"It's kind of like that. Every wand is dedicated to a special personโit just doesn't know who it is during its making. The match between a wizard and a wand is faith." Pandora whispered.
"But there are only like three main cores that Mister Ollivander uses in his wand? It's like the opposite of special to have a wand with the same core as half of the population."
"Maybe, but it is all about power. Unicorn's tail hairs, dragon's heartstrings, and phoenix's feathers produce the strongest energy." Regulus murmured and his eyes didn't twitch once. They were lingering along the lines of his lecture as he sat spread out in his chair.
Vivien lowered her eyebrows at him in a firm frown. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"So which core do you all have?" She looked around the table, her lips twisting.
"Unicorn tail hair."
"Same as a pet."
"Phoenix feather."
"Dragon heart."
Evan, Dorcas, Pandora, and Barty answered one-by-one.
"And-" Vivien glanced at Black. "What core do you have, Rebulus?"
"Phoenix feather."
Regulus didn't look once at her! With Barty and Evan, he joined the girls in the library to read but he didn't take a seat beside herโhe took the one beside Pandoraโacross from her as if to show her how much he gave no fucks! STUPID!
Once they fell into silence, Vivien began angrily reading the book Dorcas borrowed her. It was titled "Jane Eyre" and written by another muggle author, Charlotte Brontรซ. Meadowes said Vivien would love it. Or at least like it more than she liked novels from Hogwarts' library.
Vivien was turning pages when she looked up to see Alecto Carrow wandering past the table she sat at with her friends. Carrow was going towards the stairs to the ground floor of the library. She had a sweet smile plastered to her face, and her blue irises flickered when she winked at Vivien.
"Foxy." She bowed her head, drawing her fingers from Regulus' left shoulder to the right one.
He didn't even flinch.
Regulus never reacted to Alecto's provocation. Sometimes it did boost his ego that girls flirted with him but mostly it annoyed him. Maybe if he wasn't interested in Vivien, it would be flattering how other girls tried to gain his attention.
Regulus' eyes moved to the only girl he was interested in as he heard Alecto call her by the name their classmates called her. And he saw Vi gripping on the book that she was not reading.
Do they have no shame? Does Regulus think I am stupid and didn't notice what happened right in front of me on the other side of the table?! Does he think I am blind?! Black had no dignity! He was looking into Vivien's eyes, sharing a secret moment with Cowecto, curious if she would notice. Oh, I have noticed already, assclown!
Regulus squinted his eyes, discovering what Vi's problem was! Alecto Carrow was her problem! He closed his book and Vivien slammed hers with a deaf thud. Everyone glanced at her and her jaw clenched.
She was glaring at Regulus.
"Black?!"
"Vivien?"
"One time I had sex with Potter, I purposefully kicked you in your cock that one time, and I know that it was your brother who made me the butt of that joke and not you. Also I tried to have sex with Edgar in the Express bathroom." She flared like a dragon, and there was nearly steam coming out of her nose.
Obviously, Regulus thought to himself.
Um-fine? Pandora, Dorcas, and Barty glanced at each other. They weren't surprised about the truth of that stupid joke, but they weren't certain what exactly they were witnesses to.
They looked at Evan, who was scratching his brow, stupified. 'Trying to have sex'... So making out?
Regulus blinked at Vivien, having a feeling of awareness about what Vi was referring to.
Still, he kept acting nonchalant.
"Tell me something I don't know." He claimed casually.
His lack of reaction drove Vivien onto the edge.
"Oh, no, no, no." She licked her butchered lips because of how she butchered them for four days. "You tell me something I don't know."
Regulus took a moment to answer. He looked around at their friends listening, pretending they were reading.
"It seems to me you know everything." He said, meeting her eyes.
Vivien scoffed at him.
The audacity to act all cool and unmoved! When-when... When Miss Beauchรชne's heart ached! She felt like she was being impaled through it mercilessly.
"Everything, like everything about you screwing Alecto around the whole time you ask me things like, don't I fuck like a virgin, Vi?!" She snapped without shame.
Regulus' ears heated up, his face and neck burning on hellish fire. He was at a loss for words, but the thudding of four books being shut followed Vivien's words.
Everyone noticed that Vivien was upset with Regulus once more. She was spying on him with her wild eyes and it was so hilarious. She was so suspicious of him! Regulus was not as enigmatic as he appeared to be, but she always assumed he was up to something devious. And it was ridiculous to see her squint her eyes at him as he took a little too deep breath for her liking, as if she was sure that he was trying to steal the air from everyone else and watch them suffocate to death.
"Regulus does what?!" Pandora scolded, staring between the two with her eyebrows furrowed.
She didn't believe Regulus did that, but she didn't believe that he didn't give Vivien a potential reason to think that.
"Please, did Alecto tell you that?"
Barty laughed in agreement with Dorcas's words.
"Wait, so you aren't a virgin anymore?"
After earning his friends' looks of raised eyebrows judgmentally, Evan opened his book, hiding his face in it. Wrong time.
"Vi, I'm screwing with no one." Regulus began slowly.
"Oh, so now I'm no one?!" Vivien scoffed at his audacity.
Too literal, Vivien! Too literal. Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose.
"No, what I meant is with no one else than you."
"Yeah?!"
"Yes!"
"Then pull your trousers down!"
"What?!" Regulus' eyes widened and roundened.
"Prove to me and pull your pants down!"
"How does it prove anything?!"
"The birthmark! Alecto knows about your stupid birthmark!"
They whisper-shouted back and forth at each other until Regulus' expression eased. Oh.
"Yeah. I didn't realise it was there until she told me about it! Imagine how I felt when I realised Alecto wasn't the one lying to me. Stupid cow!"
"Vi, I'm not lying." Black swore, softening.
"A fucking cow-shaped birthmark on your groin that even I didn't pay any attention to and I have seen you quite bare! Tell me what positions she had to be in to remember it with such accuracy to tell me about this with details?!"
Regulus rolled his eyes, ashamed of that one situation.
"She gave me a head." He confessed hastily, embarrassed about what had happened.
Evan and Dorcas gagged. Pandora winced in physical pain and sickness.
"Disgusting, mate!" Barty groaned, not caring about keeping it quiet anymore.
Vivien was nervously tapping her foot, narrowing her eyes at Regulus, one of them twitching.
"It was one time!" He resonated, looking around to see there was none else around. After Alecto Carrow left with her book, it was pretty much only them on the floor.
With a sigh, he began elaboraiting, "It was back in June, on my birthday."
"Oh!, that's why she was so mad that she slapped you on the face? But you said she admi-"
"Nooo." Regulus mumbled out into his hands, rubbing his face until he let them fall, uncovering his pinkish cheeks. "She slapped me because I called her someone else's name. I couldn't get hard and I tried to think about something other than Alecto on her knees in front of me. And when I got hard, she wanted me to dirty-talk, but it didn't go like she imagined it would."
Regulus didn't say it bluntly, but from snickering of Barty, Dorcas, and Evan stirred with Pandora suppressed snorting, Vivien took a hint whose name Regulus called Alecto.
He scratched his neck awkwardly. It was embarrassing! Maybe it would be better if Vivien thought he was a lying arsehole and not a pervert!
But Vi? She was blushing. It never crossed her mind to call Regulus a pervert. She was holding her hand over her mouth to mask the smile she was biting on.
Fuck you, Alecto!, Regulus wasn't even attracted to her enough to get hard!
"I was a bit tipsy, fine?" He added desperately, his face dusted with innocence and embarrassment, flushing pink.
"We didn't have that issue, when you and I were higher than clouds, Rebulus."
Vivien revealed the grin that crept onto her mouth. Though her cheeks glowed with a subtle shade of pink, she had a bold beam and voice.
Their friends chuckled. Vivien was such an airhead! Empty head, only going through things.
Regulus' grey irises contemplated Vivien, who winked at him, her face softened from wrinkled frown.
"I can't believe that Regulus lost his v-card first among all of us. The little prude!" Evan closed his book silently.
Whoa! Rosier finally got it!
"Bonus points for losing it to Vivien." Regulus pointed his finger at Evan, self-satisfied at that key-important detail.
"Because she's foxy or because you have fancied her and she hated you back for four years?" Dorcas spread out on the chair comfortably, her eyebrow quirking.
"It doesn't matter because points cancel out the moment you go to Alecto."
"She came to me actually. As far as I know, it seems you don't tell me everything either. Didn't you say something about Potter?"
"But I never lied to you that I was a virgin."
"I didn't lie to you as well. I was a virgin when I was losing my virginity to you, Vi."
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"
Gruesome discovery in Glasgow!
On September 17th a widow visiting her husband's grave in The Necropolis discovered the body of a young woman now identified as Marjorie Aaranson. She was a twenty four-years-old witch. Her body was found tied to a willow tree. Her throat was slit, her trachea was crushed, and she was stabbed in the heart. Which injury was the cause of her death is still not determined. She died around 6 and 7 in the morning the same day. Suspected of the murder is her fiancรฉ, whom she was supposed to meet the previous evening.
'Majorie had a fair heart, a good spirit, and a pearly smile that shone through even in the darkest times. She will be dearly missed by her parents, brothers, friends, students, and colleagues.', says her best friend that Ms. Aaranson worked with at the Little Glasgowโlocal nursery school for the youngest wizards and witches.
"
ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat, legs crossed, reading silently the Daily Prophet on the sofa in Regulus' and Evan's dormitory. The article had a portrait of a young woman, beaming brightly.
Majorie Aaranson had a truly radiant smile. Vivien was deeply hypnotised with that photo. Even when Barty closed the door with a thud after him, Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas, she didn't even flinch. She seemed to be mourning, her fingers caressing the page like they were caressing the skin of the woman from the photograph.
Vi only reacted to Regulus' warmth. He sat beside her and they glanced at each other carefully.
"What are you reading?" He questioned quietly.
"Nothing." She murmured, tickling Regulus' cheek with her breath.
Still, his eyes had already moved between the words of an article she lingered on.
"Someone you know?"
"No."
"Yh-ym." Regulus hummed, finishing reading. When he did, he took the newspaper out of Vivien's hands and threw it away. It landed on the floor across the room.
Vivien had too much to bear on her own to worry about others too, especially strangers.
Regulus laid against a backrest. Vivien glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes and he caught her little gaze. She was asking him for an invitation. He half-smiled, his arm locking around her waist, bringing her into his chest for embrace. She curled against his side, placing her head on his shoulder.
Regulus closed his eyes.
"What am I going to do with you, Vi?" He murmured after a minute or so.
"Hmmm?" Vivienโs eyebrows tangled together, lost with what he meant.
"Why did you not come to me when Alecto was getting on your nerves?"
She shruggedโhe could feel it.
"That's not the answer."
They fell into silence. Vivien cuddled more, hooking one of her legs around his hips.
"I was scared she was telling the truth, and you were a liar." She mumbled out, comfortable.
Regulus sighed. He felt a heavy weight on his shoulders, dragging him down.
"I thought we were supposed to be 'trusting each other' kind of best friends, but if you believe in every bad thing someone tells you about me, then this is the opposite of trust and I'm afraid you have too little faith in me. I really try to be better, but you have to trust me, Vi."
"I do!" Vivien protested silently. "I do believe in you, but it's hard when you tell on yourself, Regulus!"
"What are you talking about?"
She pushed herself against his chest to looked directly at him.
"Who is 'some girl', Regulus?"
"What?" His brows knitted together.
"If there is no one else, then am I her? Is that how you call me in your head? 'Some girl'?"
"I don't know what you are referring to."
Vivien had too good a memory for Regulus. He didn't remember where she heard those words.
"When you talked about that circumising-thing, you said if you had a dirty cook and it would go into some girl, she could catch an infection. Am I her? Some girl that takes your cock in?"
Regulus' brows softened. If he wasn't so tired, he would snort.
"Vi, it wasn't factual. It was a hypothetical situation. No one is a 'some girl'. You are not some girl." He shook his head weakly, squeezing Vi's waist gently to soothe her with affection.
Vivien didn't react immediately. Her lips shut tightly and she chewed brutally on the inside of her cheek. Her bad communication skills and her poor self-image were her biggest enemies, always tricking her into insecurity.
Vivien believed Regulus. She nodded her head in understanding and snuggled into his side.
"Well, I don't like that you don't consider me to be in all of your scenarios then."
"Would you like me to consider you in one, where you would have an intimate infection because of me and my poor hygiene, Vi?"
"As long as it's you and your poor hygiene, Regulus." She whispered.
Silence. Was it a compliment coming from Vivien in her questionable way? She was so silly.
"It's just... You wouldn't be mean about it, would you, Regulus?" She pursued.
Oh... It was.
Regulus couldn't call it a win. He didn't try hard to have that basic empathy. And it was saddening that Vivien didn't even know that. She didn't know the minimum. Or that it was a minimum.
"No, I wouldn't be mean about it." He whispered, planting a small but blooming kiss on her hairline.
Vivien smiled in a malicious manner, giggling.
"You probably gave me stinkus anyway."
"Stinkus?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow, opening his eyes.
"You knowโit's like what you get from letting Alecto Carrow's suck you off when she has a bad breath. Your body starts to smell and rot." She snickered.
Regulus rolled his eyes, "So mature of you, Vi."
"What? I heard it from Hyacinth."
"Parkinson?"
"Yes."
"He graduated last year, Vi."
"But firstly he invited me to Hogsmeade."
"What for?" Regulus asked suspiciously.
Vivien perked up.
"For a walk. We went to Dominic Maestro to buy new strings. He needed magical ones for Music. Then he took me to Honeydukes and Gladrags Wizardwear." She beamed joyfully to tell Regulus about her walk with Parkinson. "He even bought me socks with little foxes on them. They smile or cry, depending on whether the person wearing them is clean or smelly. That was so nice of him."
Regulus laughed sinisterly.
"Yes, so nice of him... Vi, you know that Parkinson fancies you?" He couldn't be even jealous because of how obvious and open Vivien was.
"What are you talking about?" Her face fell in confusion.
"He took you on a date." He elaborated.
"No, he took me on a walk."
"A walk can be a date."
"No, it wasn't like that."
"What was it like then?"
"Hyacinth was just being nice."
"How many other people did he invite on that walk with you to be just nice?"
"It was just us two."
Regulus gave Vivien a look and the realisation poured on her like rain.
"Oh."
"Oh." Regulus teased.
Vivien looked down at his jumper and stroked it. The material was pleasant to touch.
"What a waste." She sighed, sorrowful.
"Excuse me." At that Regulus took offence, scoffing dryly.
Vivien looked up at him and his grey eyes.
"What? Hyacinth's pretty."
Fine! Regulus was jealous.
"Am I not anymore?"
"I'm not saying you aren't, but I'm saying only one of you two can play the violin." Vivien lifted an eyebrow at Regulus, smartassing. "He can play even with his own hands."
He scoffed more.
"I can't play the instrument, but I can play on you." He stared into her eyes sharply.
Oh, with that bratty attitude? Yes, you can. Vivien bit her bottom lip, nodding her head, agreeing eagerly.
Chapter 21: childhood friends
Chapter Text
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๐ช๐ข๐ช๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ถ!
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย If Vivien had ever known that this afternoon would be the beginning of her and Jamie's friendship's downfall, she would never agree to keep him and his round innocent eyes company!
They were laying in Jamie's bed. He was sick after the snow-fight the Marauders had after the first snow of that winter fell. With his luck, he was the only one who got sick. It was the Hogsmeade weekend, and the rest of the Marauders had already made plans for it. Sirius had a secret date. Coincidentally, Remus had to return to the Shrieking Shack after the last full moon, during which he lost his watch. He wanted to find it. Weirdly, he declined help from Peter, who later made his own plans to meet with Mary, Alice, and Lily. Marlene had no plans, but she always said she was a woman of action, not words.
So Vivien became Jamie's babysitter.
They lay with their heads on pillows placed on two opposite ends of the bed, and Potter whined through his running nose, tissue in his hands. He was waving it around, gesticulating. It was like a white flag to represent his failure and hopelessness in winning Lily Evan's sympathy over.
"She hates me!" Jamie grumbled.
Vivien rolled her eyes.
"Lily doesn't like you. Yes, obviously. But she has a solid reason for that." She muttered.
He blinked at her blankly. "Was that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Why would that make you feel better?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, stupified.
"Exactly!"
"Wait-you want me to pat you on the shoulder or something? I literally told you it was a bad idea from the beginning to the end, and you didn't listen. Now it's just the consequences of your own attitude and arrogance."
"I thought you were on my side." James scoffed.
"What? Why would I be?" Vivien winced with her whole face.
"Because you are my best friend, ever since before we could even talk?!" James was dramatic.
Vivien sat up with her hands up as a sign of innocence.
"Don't take your anger out on the messenger. Listen, I'm your best friend, Jamie. That's why I understand Lily's heartache. Fine? You took her childhood friend away from her."
"It's not my fault that her childhood friend was of shitty quality!" He argued back.
"No, but you took away Lily's memories of the person Snape used to be before he befriended Mulciber, Avery, and Carrows. You replaced all these memories with the bitter taste of being humiliated by him." Vivien elaborated.
James' lips opened like he wanted to say somethingโadd more names maybeโuntil he shut them, stopping himself. But he squinted his eyes at Vivien through his glasses, studying her like she was a lecture he was reading.
She ignored his clownery.
"She was friends with him, like, what? Almost half of her life. Snape was the first person to introduce Lily to a world that she didn't even know existed or that she was a piece of. It's quite a special connection, you know. He was someone to support and teach her through the journey of self-exploring."
Jamie kept staring at Vivien until she finished.
"But I could be her supporter!" He grumbled in frustration, throwing the tissue on the floor.
"Prove it to her then?"
"How, when instead of me, she invites one of my best friends to Three Broomsticks? Like she doesn't even give me a chance to prove it!"
"Because you don't prove it, James! If you want to show her that you are not the same personโwho flipped her best friend and shouted at her parents and sister the first time you met them because you assumed muggles were stupiderโgrow up. Show her that you are mature now."
"How?!" He grumbled, making Vivien want to rip her hair out. What a child!
"Give her her space and show her from a distance. Be kind to others and act responsibly." With her eye twitching in annoyance, she elaborated.
"You don't think I'm kind and responsible?" He asked, quite insulted by the insinuation.ย
"When you don't care? Absolutely not. You and Sirius can be worse than pixies because they use their brains at least."
James laid his hand on his heart, his jaw hanging down at her words. She stuck her tongue at him.
"It is ironic that it comes from you when you date the worst boy in our year." In gratitude for her honesty, he bite back mischievously.
With her eyes rolling, Vivien sighed, "Not again."
Nolan couldn't stand James being Vivien's friend and James couldn't stand Nolan hanging out with Vivien. The two were quidditch rivals, and then they happened to compete about Vivien too.
"First of all me and him are just friends!"
"Please, just friends my arse, Vivien." James chuckled. "Didn't you just complain about the sounds he makes when he finishes?"
Vivien's cheeks flushed. It was true! Vivien started having sex and Nolan was her first. What was worse, he wasn't even good in bed. He was bad. Awfully bad. Pushy and self-centred about his needs. All she had left was to joke about him behind his back.
Vivien took the pillow from behind her head and threw it at James.
"I was confiding in you! Not giving you a chance to mock me for it!" She accused.
Rationally, it was somewhat funny how bad Nolan was in bed after enough time had passed.
Irrationally, young Vivien had been worrying that maybe her body was broken too, and that's why she didn't enjoy intimacy with himโbecause she would never enjoy it with anyone.
They snorted, even though it caused Vivien's heart to ache, laughter tasting sourโawfully similar to bile.
"I'm not, Vivi. I'm not." James put his hands in the air, though he kept cackling like a maniacal frog. "I just canโt imagine his high-pitched moans when he finishes."
It was somewhat twisted outโhow she told that to James, avoiding the embarrassing details.
"Oh, please! Mister untouched, what do you know about coming? Maybe I have divine fanny." Vivien knew she didn't because Nolan made it crystal clear. Still, it was nice to joke so lightheartedly with unaware James.
With unaware James, Vivien could pretend she wasnโt hurting.
"I don't doubt that, but-"
"But what?" Vivien quirked her eyebrow at James, whose laugh died out into silence.
Her brows arose because James Potter blushed, studying her.
Vivien tilted her head, confused.
"I would be too embarrassed to finish so soon and so pathetic in front of a pretty girl like you, when I could have more. You deserve to be treated and taken care of like a princess, not a one-time thing." James spoke out quietly. He tensed and Vivien saw that
She didn't know where his sweet words came from or why he was nervous about saying them because they made her smile sincerely. She appreciated them. She leaned to him, placing a hand on his thigh to squeeze it. James glanced between her hand and her face, which beamed lightly so close to his.
He glanced at her lips weirdly. Vivien ignored it.
"Thank you, James. Now, it's time to pee." He rolled his eyes, but his cheeks still seemed to be on fire.
Is he heating up? Should we go to Madam Pomfrey?
Vivien rolled over James' legs to the other side of his bed. She stood up with her miniskirt furled and she unfurled it smoothly, heading to the bathroom in the boys' dormitory.
When Vivien left the bathroom, she saw James behaving strangely. He was holding a pillow over his abdomen, even redder than before. He cleared his throat. It was strangely silent, and he was strangely strange.
Vivien made her way onto the bed and sat on the opposite end of the bed, reaching for the pillow that James hugged to his body.
"Can I?" She asked, her hand already grasping it.
"No." James suddenly held the pillow tighter, his chuckled nearly white.
"What do you mean no?" Vivien snorted, thinking he was fooling in some stupid manner because of the fever.
Once she wanted to pull the pillow, but he pushed it down.
"Vivien, I'm serious. Don't!" He said harshly, warning her.
Vivien rolled her eyes but her hands loosened.
James thought she had given up, and he deadened. Unfortunately, she didn't, yanking the thing from his strong hands.
James almost fainted. Out of life's spite all the blood drained from his face, as if it went all the way into the bulge in his trousers. He became white like a ghost.
Usually Vivien would triumph but now threw the thing back at James, waving her hands around after she jumped to her feet.
"Disgusting! What the fuck, James?! Why are you rubbing yourself off on the pillow? I was in the bathroom for like four minutes!" She grimaced, looking anywhere but at him. "I just laid with my head in it! Oh, for Merlin sake!"
"I'm not doing such a thing! I told you not to touch it!" James was clenching the pillow to his body.
"I thought you had a fever and talked shite! It didn't occur to me that you were humping the pillow!"
"I was not!"
Vivien grimaced her face.
"It's just thatโฆ even though you forget it I'm still a teenage boy, alright?! You touched my thigh-"
"What are you saying? That this is my fault?!" Vivien stared at James, shooting daggers at him.
"No! But when you were getting up, your skirt pulled up, and I saw you-your-your-" Under her stare, he stuttered nervously.
"My what?!"
"Knickers!" He admitted.
A candle lit up in Vivien's mind, her lips opening and closing. Her head tilted like a curious creature does.
"Wait, you got hard because of me?"
"Yes!" James groaned.
"Oh..."
"Yes, 'ohhh'..." Potter trailed off into silence, his eyes drilled into a wall.
Vivien didn't know what came over her.
Do it!,do it!,do it! something inside her body chanted loudly. She sat at the bedside.
"James, are you finding me attractive?" He looked at her with a frown.
"What?"
"Are you finding me attractive? I mean sexually." She repeated, specifying.
James studied her face, looking for a hint about what she wanted him to say. His eyes stayed a little too long on her lips and she licked them, waiting for an answer.
"Yes." He confessed.
Vivien smiled and sneaked her hand under the pillow onto his thigh.
"Do you want me in your bed right now, James? I could help with your erection." Potter tensed at Vivien's warmth but didn't tell her to stop. His voice got stuck in his throat. He nodded like she had hypnotised him into doing so.
Vivien's heart pounded in her chest but she needed to try and check if she was normal. If she and her body were not completely broken. She leaned closer to James slowly, giving him a chance to tell her not to do so. He didn't, and her nose brushed against his. She glanced into his eyes, asking him if he was sure.
Maybe it was James' desperation to be loved by a girlโthe one he cared about didn't like him, and the other one was asking him if he wanted herโhe couldn't let go of that opportunity. He connected his mouth with hers. Vivien and James kissed exploratorily, stroking each other's lips.
They separated slightly.
"Do you want me in your bed right now, Jamie?" Vivien had a tempting tone that told James she was up to no good.
"What will it mean for our friendship?" He tried to stay sober.
Vivien smirked, lying her hand on his cheek to caress it.
"Nothing. It won't change a thing between us." She whispered.
Ouch. That hurt. But James thought to himself that, step-by-step, he could show Vivien he was mature. He could show her he was better than Nolan and 'other boys', and maybe if he showed her how much he liked her and how well he could treat her, this could count as the first step of that process. And he was so horny...
"Hmmm?" Vivien hummed, waiting for an answer.
"Yes, I want you, Vivien. Right now, right here in my bed."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien straddled Jamesโ hips. Though was entirely bare, she left her camisole.
But James was lucky enough to be the one to take off her undergarments that made him hard in the first place, and it was a sweet win to hold them in his hands and feel what they were covering. Vivien made James see clouds, and James made Vivien sweat. It was like he said. Is he too embarrassed to finish?
James was better in bed than Nolan. He was good. But it was getting tiring to ride him for so long, pleasuring him. Vivien couldn't point out what was wrong but something was.
She liked some things that James did but others were irritating to her. She didn't like the slow pace of his actions. It wasn't enjoyable for her at all. It was too slowโVivien would be riding James until her own death bed. It seemed to her that he tried to make it cute. He was kissing her skin. It was supposed to be gentle, but it was shallowโmeaningless. And he wasn't finishing.
He wasn't what Vivien was searching for. Now, she knew she was searching for the perfect one for herโthat it wasnโt her body that was broken, it was her head that knew what she needed. She needed one that would be perfect without changing. The one that was meant for her.
Whenever Vivien was speeding up, James instructed her to slow down. Still, it felt nicer than whatever Nolan ever did. Vivien wasn't completely broken.
As if someone heard Vivien's internal monologue, the door of the dormitory sprang open, and her head snapped in that direction.
In the doorway stood Peter, Remus, Sirius, and Mary, who were silenced with how their jaws slammed on the floor at the sight of barely clothed Vivien on top of bare James.
Potter hoped that if he turned white enough, he would become transparent like a fog.
Silence.
They all stared at each other, Vivien blinked slowly.
Peter accidentally dropping his paper bag from HoneyDukes on the ground made Remus recover. He reached for the handle and closed the door of that damned dormitory, pretending he saw nothing because that's what he saw. Nothing.
That was all they saw.
They saw nothing.
James felt stupid for not making sure it was safe to be intimateโlike cast a spell on the door at leastโbut his mind was so full of mist he couldn't think.
Vivien got up from him like nothing had ever happened and began collecting her clothes to put them on. Of course James didn't suspect she would like to keep going and ignore the shame they would have to face in a few minutes, but she just got up. She didn't leave a single kiss on his lips or say anything.
Vivien knew everything she needed. She was done with the act. It was like what she said to James. That exceptional one time would mean nothing for their friendship. That was what she told herself and him, and she thought it was enough. She was focused more on the realisation that she the sex wasn't her issue. It was Nolan who was her issue.
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ย ย ย ย ย When the rest of self-called Marauders and Mary MacDonald returned to the dormitory, Vivien rested where Potter previously laid naked, unbothered. She was playing with her wand, almost gouging her eyes from time to time. On the other hand, James was walking around the room, suddenly absorbed in cleaning Sirius' mess. It was too late because the four decided that they did see something.
"Sooooo," Sirius smirked, dropping down on his mattress.
Peter and Mary laid on his bed on their bellies and Remus sat down in the armchair in the corner of the room. Everyone looked between Vivien and James. Potter was undeniably trying to figure out how, where, and when to use Obliviate on all four.
Vivien seemed as if she couldn't care less.
"So what?" She furrowed her eyebrows, lowering her wand.
"How was your time making Jamie feel better about being sick? I think you took it a little too literally, Vivi." Peter chuckled, making the rest snicker.
Potter glared between them, frustrated and flustered.
"No, I think Vivien understood the task spot-on. Prongs finally got up from the bed." Remus pointed out.
"Yeah, and he turned into a house elf. Now instead of mopping in his bed, he's moping around our room." Sirius joked, and Vivien stared at him judgingly. "Sorry."
She always thought Siriusโlike many wizardsโdidn't appreciate elves enough, and his words about them were belittling!
"If you didn't leave your things everywhere but in your drawers and wardrobe, I wouldn't have to do it." Potter grumbled, picking up Siriusโ boxers and throwing them into his face.
He didn't even question whether they were clean or used.
Chapter 22: nothing more dangerous than Mother Nature giving ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต to a teenage boy
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Even wizards and witches doubted astrology and the existence of the inner eye, which Miss Trelawney was all about. Rubbish, they called her interests. Not Miss Beauchรชne. She adored Sybie's passion.
At twelve, they bonded over the fact that both girls used to collect gemstones. Bibie told Vivien how different stones were supposed to affect her life.
And Vivien believed Sybie that the sun in Libra would put an end to the drama of Mars in Cancer, even if she didn't fully understand what exactly it meant.
And Sybill Trelawney was right.
The closer it got to the calendar autumn, the further away the shite drifted. It was like the rain washed it all away because with the beginning of October, the weather in the Highlands quickly turned from sunny to muddy. Ironically, Vivien was blooming when nature was rotting. Three or four weeks into the semester, professors chose a war path with sixth-year students, You have to start preparing for your N.E.W.T.s. Time will run out faster than you think
Miss Beauchรชne hated studying, but it seemed young Mister Black took the advice to heart with all the teaching he was doing with her, even though Dorcas Meadowes effectively shortened their lessons as a new Slytherin captain of the quidditch team. Meadowes was ready to beat the shite out of James Potter [Gryffindor captain], Marlene McKinnon [Ravenclaw new captain], and Edgar Bones [Hufflepuff captain] that year.
She was preparing for the first match of the year. The whole Quidditch season got moved, and the first match was happening two weeks earlier due to the effects of a long winter coming. Unfortunately, the first match was changed to Slytherins versus Hufflepuffs from Slytherin versus Gryffindor after Idiotter had sprained his ankle, fooling around on wet grass. Recovering, he needed more time for training.
Nonetheless, Dorcas Meadowes wasted no time and wrote out the plan of training for the whole month in agreement with Edgar Bones.
"Vi, I really have to go. It was supposed to be a five minute break."
"No, I'm pretty sure Cassie said like fifteen... or maybe it was fifty. Actually, I'm not that sure."
Vivien heard Regulus' chuckle between the rough kisses she left on his lips.
Vivien was getting frustratedโRegulus could tell. He was trying to make her communicate her needs, evenโespeciallyโthe intimate ones. She was learning to speak out for herself. She was learning to say no.
But Regulus realised that bigger trouble for her became admitting she wanted to say yes. At first Vivien liked how her and Black's steamy make-outs were only that. She enjoyed pausing and never finishing as they had mutual understanding to not continue or got interrupted. But at some point, it felt like Regulus began taunting her. She would be luscious between her legs, and he would push her into the spotlight by parting from her and silently asking her the question.
Regulus already had too much confidence with his big eyes saying, If you want me, tell me.
The audacity! Vi would tell him nothing!, but it left her flustered.
At that moment in that changing room, Black was wearing those stupid protectors, and she couldn't slide her sticky finger anywhere, though his cold hands were warming up on her ribs under the jumper she was wearing. All she could do was grind on the only place he had no protectors on, her fingers tangled into his black curls.
"Vi, this is not fair." Regulus whined. He could feel growing tension in his crotch, Vivien humping him with her intense hip-movements.
Although he complained, he sat between her legs unmoved. He didn't want to move.
Vivien stared at him through her lashes. She was flaring through her nose with her reddened cheeks and chest heavily going up and down.
"This is fair. Cassie steals you from me and I steal you from her." She whispered but both of them knew it wasn't what Regulus was talking about.
He cleared his throat and swallowed.
"You could stay in bed and wait for me. I don't expect you to come and freeze on the bench in this wind on Saturday morning to watch a sport you hate." He mumbled, his mind foggy under the gaze of Vivienโs wild and untamed eyes.
He saw her eyes, studying him.
Vivien studied him indeedโhis messy hair, his flushed face, prominent brows softening in pleasure, dark eyelashes, grey flickering eyes disappearing behind dilating pupils, aristocratic nose and cheekbones, red lips, and sharp jawline.
"Stay in an empty bed? To do that I can simply stay in my own bed. I don't visit your bed to be alone in it, Regulus."
"Is it revenge then?"
"It's justice."
"Is it?" Regulus tilted his head. He felt Vivien slow down her movements.
She was so shameless and it would be hilarious how the only thing she couldn't say out loud was that she wanted to fuck himโif it was not for the fact how flustrated she was leaving the two of them. She was so stubborn, and it was hard to resist her but Black stayed grounded. Regulus wanted to teach Vi a lessonโto say out loud what she wanted in bed.
That she wanted to have sex.
That Vi wanted to have sex with Regulus.
That Vi wanted Regulus.
That was all.
Vivien thought that saying she visited his bed to have him there and not to be alone was enough but Regulus didn't get her hints, and it was embarrassing because of how close she was to the edge of ripping their clothes off and taking him in such an ungodly act then and there.
Still, it would be less embarrassing than saying out loud how much she craved him and his ways of touching her. She admitted it once before. Why would I voice my feelings every time I want Regulus, if I've already done that before and nothing has changed since that time in his bedroom?!
So the two of them stayed like this, staring at each other, their bodies itching to connect until someone knocked on the locked door.
"Foxy, it's eight in the morning. Give the team Black back." Rosier grumbled, jerking the handle of the door.
Evan was the one to interrupt Regulus and Vivien the most. She was swayed that he was doing it intentionally. She was right of course.
Now she grew high from Regulus, leaving him.
"This is not fair!" She whisper-shouted, pointing at the door.
"If it was supposed to be discreet, you have to think we are deaf, Vivia." Barty snorted against the wooden door.
"Fine!" Vivien gave up.
She was about to walk towards the door but Regulus caught her like a golden snitch.
"Where are you going?" He hooked his arms around her waist, bringing her to his chest.
"Out?!" Vivien felt his bulge against her bum.
Black lowered his chin into her shoulder.
"Like this?" He pointed with his eyes down, and she directed hers in after his.
Her misplaced miniskirt uncovered her stockings and pantiesโher pink panties with red roses sewn on. Regulus thought they were cute. He didn't mind having a chance to look at themโhe minded anyone else having the same opportunity.
The couple glanced at each other over her shoulder, and she nodded her head. "Exactly like this."
"Oh, really?" Regulus raised his brows nonchalantly, knowing he wasnโt letting her out.
"Really." Vivien's mouth sculpted into a monumental smirk. "Just because you are too busy doesn't mean I am. Me and Barty are pretty bored in our seats."
"Barty?"
"Yes. I wonder if his height is the only big thing about him." She said, her tone dreamy.
They heard Evan groan, trying to jerk the door open with all the force once again, Barty laughing.
"Oh, foxy, believe me, it is not." He flirted through the door jokingly.
Vivien hummed, fakely intrigued. She felt Regulus urgently tugging her miniskirt down before Evan opened the door to see her undergarment with Barty.
"Did you hear? It is not!" She whispered.
And the door sprang opened.
"Barty meant his ego."
Evanโs and Barty's eyebrows raised at BRegulus smiling tightly, embracing Vivien in his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder innocently.
The coupleโs clothes were more or less intact but their messed-up hair and reddened faces told a different story. Still, it was windy outside and the temperature was low.
So three boys stared at each other squinting their eyes and Vi blinked emptily.
Evan's stupid squint directed at Regulus was hilarious, along with Regulusโ erection in her bum after he jumped out of fear at the door being opened.
Regulus pretended that he shared moments full of fondness with Vi and not moments that left him full of frustration.
She giggled. She didn't have to say anything because Evan knew everything he needed about the young hormonal couple.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake! You two are disgusting! Get out of my sight, Black! Or Cassie will rip off your balls!" He grimaced, knowing the truth.ย
"I will!"
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ย ย ย ย ย The whole breakfast Evan didn't speak, treating Vivien with a silent punishment.
Yes, he had taken offence after he kept asking Vivien about her and Regulus' relationship and she was avoiding answering. Barty from time to time nudged him, and every single time he suppressed the small smile that tried to crept onto his face.
Vivien sat on the opposite side table, quietly eating her buttered toasts and sipping her sugary tea, observing both boys smilingโฆ Until Pandora arrived at the table, growling gibberish out of frustration.
"Little cunt!" She cursed out, sitting down beside Vivien and they all looked at her.
"How's the journal's meeting?" Barty chuckled.
"Don't even start me!" Pandora warned. "Little Parkinson went bananas! Cunt went once to Spain for vacation and already had a heatstroke." She ridiculed, putting a toast on her plate. She reached for the jar of jam, spreading the raspberry jam on her toasts, scoffing. "Can you imagine that she suggested expanding her gossip column to the whole section?! As if her little bitch of a column didn't do enough harm last semester!"
Vivien knew something about the harm it did. She lowered her toast onto her own plate. She lost her appetite.
"Wasn't the whole column dedicated to shaming girls?" Evan wondered out loud, glancing at Vivien out of the corners of his eyes.
"Exactly what it was!" Pandora pointed her cutlery knife at him.
"Wait, but weren't you responsible for the Hogwarts journal, Vivia?" He scratched his brow, looking at Vivien.
She cringed.
"Uuummmmmaybe?" It was not tasteful to admit to her failure out loud.
Vivien was responsible for the Hogwarts' journal for the last two years, but the last year she completely lost control over it, losing her passion. At the beginning of May she resigned from her position. She was useless anyway. She hadn't written anything since December last year at the time, and she accepted all the ideas, which gave Florentine a little bit too much power for everyone's liking.
"I actually resigned."
"Can you unresign, please? I need mental support out there! Or Florentine's negative intelligence will cancel mine out as well." Pandora pointed the cutlery knife at her.
Vivien blinked at the sharp object in her hand before pinching its tip and turning the thing away from her face.
"Sorry, but I'm not changing my mind even at knifepoint. Shite was draining for me the last few months before I left it." She answered shortly.
"I actually liked little Parkinson's columns." Barty claimed, biting into his sandwich.
"You liked the drama." Evan murmured.
"Of course he did. It's Barty." Dorcas piped in as she and Regulus approached the table.
They were both changed from their quidditch uniforms into their usual clothes. Regulus had a dark brown jumper on and his curls were somewhat wet from the shower he took as he sat down in front of Vivien beside Evan. He winked at her, and she winked back.
"Excuse me, gentleman."ย Dorcas, on the other hand, elbowed Barty, pushing herself between him and Evan. Evan moaned in pain after she elbowed him too. He had no space to move unless on Regulus' laps!
Pandora giggled, so did Vivien and Dorcas looked at her meaningfully.
"What? We don't need any more sweethearts in the group."
Vivienโs face fell and a blush dusted her cheeks.
Pandora giggled more and Evan scoffed at such a suggestion.
"Don't worry. I like people who won't rip my throat off when I'm asleep. I don't need Barty anywhere near my bed when the foxy in my dormitory is unsafe enough."
"I'm glad you are aware that I'm plotting." Vivien squinted her eyes at him.ย
Evan's complaint was a jokeโshe knew. She was way more lively conversationalist than Regulus was. He was always quiet. He was awfully quiet, sitting at the table with them all. Vivien glanced at him. He was savouring his black tea quietly. Just listening. He always just listened. Everyone followed Vivien's gaze.
"What?" Regulus looked at them all, putting down the cup.
"So what are your plans for the Hogsmeade trip?" Evan asked Regulus with a teasing tone, his eyebrows wiggling slightly with his words.
The truth was Regulus had a lot of plans but only in his head. He preferred to turn his plans into action more subtly but Evan tried to encourage him openly. With a sigh, he looked between his friends before facing Vi, who observed him curiously.
"Do you have any plans, Vi?" His question startled her. She still wanted to hear his plans!
She nodded her head.
Regulusโ face paled.
"Oh." Had escaped his lips.
To Vivien, it was an Oh of someone disappointed. Her chest aching, even if she didnโt know why he was disappointed to hear that.
"You do?" Pandora tilted her head.
"Yes." She confirmed out loud.
"Without Regulus?" Dorcas quirked an eyebrow.
Vivien was lost. Why do they question it? She looked between her friends.
"Was I supposed to have them with Regulus?"
"Yes-I mean no. We're just shocked."
"Why?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows at Evan.
"We assumed you both were body-tied together since the beginning of this arranged engagement." Barty remarked, taking a huge bite of his sandwich.
"Wha-why?"
Regulus snorted, gathering himself, capturing Vi's attention. She looked so cute when confused!
"I think they refer to how hard it is to see one without the other."
After a second of thinking about what Regulus said, Vivien stretched out on the table towards him.
"Do they not like us spending time together?" She murmured not so secretly, pointing her finger at their friends.
"No!" Cassie, Rora, Barty, and Evan protested.
Regulus finally began romancing with the girl of his dreams and Vi was such a fun person to have around! How could they ever dislike having them together?
Their emotional outburst made Vivien unstretch slowly, cautious of everyone's weird behaviour.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien felt like it had been ages since she hung out with her brothers. They all had their own schedules, classes, and friendsโit was hard to see each other sometimes. After breakfast, she met Ambrosie and Teddy at the Clock Tower. It was Teddy's first legal Hogsmeade trip. Vivien's brothers teased her as soon as they saw her running.
"No Black around your hip?" Bambi joked, a joy flicking in his eyes.
"He's probably chasing herโthat's why she's running for the first time in her life." Teddy snickered, smirking.
When Vivien ran up to them, she smacked them softly at the back of their heads at once, earning harmless hums. Even if Babmi was already slightly higher than her and Teddy was catching up to her height they were her baby brothers after all.
"What? You don't feel like laughing anymore?" She smiled. Two brothers knew they could not do the same to their big sister as she did to themโwhich they would do to each otherโbecause she would smack them hard out of her sisterly love.
Wrapped in their coats, they walked the trodden path, ages of wizardsโ and witchesโ steps wearing down the grass.
It was obvious who was dressing the siblings. Ambrosie wore an earthy brown coat to add some colour to his mostly black garderobe. For Theodore, Vivien bought royal blue to match all of his light blue jumpers. She didn't want her brothers to look like clowns wearing strange colour combinations. She gazed between them, pleased with her and Poe's work. They looked good for young men. Young men? Her brothers were becoming young men! But Vivien treated them like childrenโdressing them, thinking they still needed thatโand they let her keep that little control that brought her comfort.
Vivien grinned foolishly without any particular reason as she was looking at her brothers. Teddy rolled his eyes in wordless response.
"So where do you want to go, brother?" Bambi smiled, seeing his older sister happy. Though they were walking in silence, he changed the silent topic.
"It doesn't matter where, as long as it's with you." Teddy's lips twitched into a smile despite his inner dwell.
He was a moody person but having someone proud of him just because he existed was warming his cold heart. Vivien reached for him and pulled her baby brother into her to give him the biggest kiss on the cheek.
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ย ย ย ย ย The oldest Beauchรชne siblings walked into the Three Broomsticks. The interior of the pub was very woody and brownish. It was warm and welcoming. Though the place was quite crowded, Vivien, Ambrosie, and Teddy managed to find a small table in the corner of the room.
They were frozen from the windy weather after spending two hours walking around the village. Teddy and Bambi pushed the bags of shopping under the table. There was one for each of the siblings at school. Three of them had visited HoneyDukes, Zonko's Joke Shop, Spintwitches Sporting Needs, Gladrags Wizardwear, and a Merlin Forsaken shop that seemed to be unused for a long time.
There was a story that, at the end of the 19th century, it was owned by a couple. But after the husband died, the widow began renting it out. Suspiciously, every tenant of it soon had been driven into madness. There was speculation that the widow began hunting and stalking her tenants after the loss of her first victim, who supposedly was her husband. So obviously Teddy wanted to see the place with his own eyes since the trip was all about him.
When Vivien was taking her coat off, Teddy helped her. In the meantime, Bambi pulled the chair for her. Vivien sat down and both brothers felt free to take off their own coats and take their seats. Since it was Teddy's first permitted time in Hogsmeade, he was the one to walk to the bar and order, Vivien and Ambrosie staying at the small table.
"Did ma write to you?" Ambrosie asked Vivien, quickly checking with his eyes if their younger brother was far away enough to not hear them.
Vivien's lips tightened her lips into a thin line, shaking her head.
"She didn't write to you?" She whispered, leaning to him.
"Now that Poe, Dove, and Raven are not there to remind her she has children, I'm not surprised. By now last year, she would have written something and Rosaire is worrying that she hasn't." He whispered, leaning closer to her.
Vivien raised her brows, surprised.
"Rosie's worrying about mother?"
"About Eden."
Oh. Vivien would be lying if she said she wasn't constantly wondering what Eden was up to at any time. Is he wandering around a big, dark, and empty residence? Is he watching the pictures from Regulus' copy of "Fantastic Beasts and How to Find Them" lying in his bed? Did that little genius of a child bother Mr. Black into playing chess with him? Does he bother Kreacher? How's he eating? Did he eat enough today? Did Kreacher cut meat for him? Did the being give him orange juice so he could wash down all the tastes he didn't like? Did Eden even see a mother today? Did she wish him a 'good morning' at least if he did?
"He's left with ma, Mrs., and Mr. Black. It would be safer to abandon him in the forbidden forest and come back a year later." Ambrosie commented.
Rosie wasn't the only one worried about Eden. They all were. Vivien knew that her submissiveness towards the Black family ensured her family a physical inviolability. But she wasn't so certain about mental security. All she knew was that physically Eden wouldn't be neglected.
"I will write to mama today to check on both of them, fine? She just forgot." Vivien smiled faintly, lying her hand on top of his and caressing his frozen-bitten skin.
Ambrosie smiled tightly before taking his hand away, when Teddy was coming back.
"Madam Rosmerta's butterbeer is already an extra sweet variantโI don't know how you can drink it with extra caramel, sister."
They sat at the table, fooling and joking around but Vivien felt that she was being observed. She quickly figured out that in the most shadowed place at the bar sat Marlene.
McKinnon was very lonely after she dropped Gryffindor's arses, and hers was dropped by everyone else. She kept glancing at Vivien regretfully. She ignored her and her shitty sadness. She had been ignoring her since their talk on the Hogwarts Express. Vivien's eyes shifted to Emmaline and Sybill, who were passing Edgar and his friends on their way out of the pub. Vance pushed him on the back of the head and he landed with his nose in his drink. With Trelawney, she hurriedly fled the scene, giggling echoing after themโthe only evidence that they ever were there.
"You could invite your friends." Teddy mused, watching the scene just the same. "Especially Zahara."
He smirked to himself, facing Vivien. She stared at him. Every one of her brothers fancied Zahara. She couldn't blame them. Zahara was such an eternal and graceful beauty, and her caring but honest personality was appealing.
"Or Regulus." Teddy continued, still very confidently.
Ambrosie nodded in agreement, smirking as stupidly as him.
"Yes. With Dorcas."
"And Pandora of course!"
"Oh, right. Pandora with Emy and Sybie."
Vivien blinked at them with a stone-blank face. Can I blame them?, she couldn't. It was quite a compliment that only attractive people wanted to be friends with Vivien. She could relish their beauty and admire them. Vivien loved precious.
"How's that sweet muffin girl of yours, Bambi?" She smirked devilishly, changing the topid.
Ambrosie flushed and Teddy began drinking his butterbeer, trying to suppress his snorts.
"What? What?" Vivien looked between her brothers.
"She has a muggle boyfriend. Of two years. At her hometown." Teddy murmured against his cup.
Vivien cringed.
"Yes..." Ambrosie agreed, but a smug smile sneaked on his face. "But she gave the name of her friend who might or might not be interested in me." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Teddy and Vivien smacked him at the back of his head.
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ย ย ย ย ย It never crossed Vivien's mind to invite her friends to hang out with her and her brothers. She considered it only her and her siblings' time. When they were leaving the pub, they were met with her friends outside.
"Hello." Pandora beamed like she was the sun between the grey clouds in the sky. She had her arm locked around Evan's biceps.
"Beauchรชnes!" He smiled delightedly too.
Behind them two stopped Dorcas, holding Barty's and Regulus' hands, swinging them back and forth, trying to cheer them up. They were already smiling softly, but at the sight of Vivien with her younger brothers, their smiles grew wider, bigger, and happier.
"Rosier." Ambrosie welcomed and they shook hands. Teddy stretched his hand out to do the same.
"Hi," Vivien grinned, gazing between them before her eyes focused on her favourite friend of all as he came closer with Dorcas and Barty.
"How's your day?" Cassie asked, looking at the youngest Beauchรชne there. "How's the first trip to Hogsmeade, Teddy?"
Teddy opened his mouth-
"Oh, he and the other one of my brothers over here-" She pointed her fingers between him and Ambrosie, who stared at her with thigh smiles. "Are deeply mourning the fact I didn't invite you."
Barty quirked an eyebrow knowingly. "Us?" It was teenage boys that they were talking about.
"Oh, no, no, no." Vivien chuckled. "Not all of you. I meant Cassie and Rora." She specified, self-satisfied.
Teenagers laughed.
"That's adorable but you're too young." Pandoraโs nose crinkled cutely.
"Yes, Pandora prefers them older." Evan nudged her softly and she hit him weakly on the shoulderโher lips hanging open, scandalised.
Dorcas let go of Regulus, pointing her finger at Pandora.
"I'm with Panda on this. You are too young, little handsomes."
Vivien glanced at Cassie out of the corner of her eyes and winked subtly. Barty thought about the same thing Vivien had but he had other executions as his brown irises shone,
"Yes, Meadowes prefers them more fem-"
He groaned after the Meadowes kicked him in the ankle, smiling tightly.
"Don't be so humble, sister. You've been weeping quietly the whole time too." Teddy ignored that interaction and smirked devilishly at his big sister.
"Oh, has she?" Pandora giggled.
"I was not!" Vivien argued, looking at Teddy.
She heard Bambi snorting on her other side, and she stormed him with a glare.
"I didn't even say Regulus' name! It was you both!"
Black smirked arrogantly and sneaked towards Vivien. His arm embraced her strongly, pulling her into his chest. It caused Vi's wild eyes to travel to his.
"How come you assumed he meant me?"
Vivien's brows softened. She wrapped her hands around his waist like she was his coat, meant to keep him safe and warm.
It's true! Vivien wasn't weeping!, but yes, she was waiting patiently for her Regulus-time! They hadn't had it since the morning.
When Regulus woke, it was to get upโafter Vi mumbled out in her sleep to him a few times too many five more minutes, snuggling him like her cuddly toy.
Black accidentally woke Evan by stumbling into a bedframe, and then Evan accidentally woke Vivien by falling onto the floor after trying to roll himself in his duvet.
Regulus didn't give Vi a single kiss until she caught and pushed him into that changing room. She got very excited by how hot he looked focused on quidditch. Until then, I was never interested in sports.
"Oh, please, Black. Don't act too cocky. It's not like my sister invited herself to your bed."
She did. Regulus chuckled at the memory of the summer he had.
Ambrosie squinted his eyes suspiciously as he spoke more.
"It's not like you've been sleeping on your own any better than she has."
"Actually me and Regulus don't sleep together." TWords slid down Vivien's tongue faster than she could control them.ย
Silence.
She pouted her lips, thinking why would she say that out loud?
Evan lowered his eyebrows. Liar! He saw her in his dormitory in the morni- His brows went even lower. Oh... Oh! He groaned, disgusted.
"Bollocks, Vivien!"
Vivien's brothers didn't move for a solid second, petrified. She felt one of Regulus' hands leave her body. He pinched the bridge of his nose in disbelief.
"You didn't think it through, did you?" He whispered.
"I didn't!" Viviene whined, embarrassed and frustrated that she said it out loud.
Barty snorted, seeing how Evan turned pink because it wasn't from the temperature. Pandora stayed mature, smiling at the silliness of Vi.
"I doubt that's true with how Regulus' breaks are getting longer." Cassie commented out loud, suppressing her own snort.
Ambrosie's eyes widened. He grasped his sister by the material of her coat.
"I think it's time we part ways." He began walking away with Teddy.
Vivien loosened her hands on Regulus until they were cold again.
"Have a good time."
"You too, little herd."
Vivien was aware that it was irrational how dependent on Regulus she became in such a short time but she couldn't help herself. He was comforting to her. He was effortless to spend time with. She didn't have to try and mask herself around him, hiding her obnoxious and trouble-making nature.
Maybe it was because of how he liked her even after he met her worst side. She could be so mean and he still liked her with all of her flaws. She looked over her shoulder, and as if Regulus felt her gaze on him, he did the same.
"Evening." She mouthed.
He nodded with that sweet smile and dimples of his.
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ย ย ย ย ย In Hogwarts, Vivien followed her brothers upstairs in the Gryffindor common room. They knocked on the door. After a split second, the door opened. Rosaire grinned widely, seeing his older brothers and big sister. He let them in, where he was alone. Reunited, they scrambled onto Rosie's bed. He sat on one end of it, with his brothers on the bedsides. Vivien sat on the other end. Bambi and Teddy threw four bags on the bed, and Rosaire's eyes glimmered joyfully. Teddy picked up one of them and handed it to him.
"For you."
He accepted it, opening and peeping inside. The grin on his face only expanded when he dug out of the bag cards from Zonko's new collection.
Vivien found that product to be more annoying than enjoyable. On the last trip back in June, Kingsley had brought a flyer from Zonko's with promising words about a limited collection coming out. Rosaire saw the parchment with moving pictures of different things among which was that cursed deck of cards that were supposed to prank the players when used. Among other things, jokers could use one of the juggling balls to juggle it into someone's face.
Rosie thought it to be entertaining. His grin glued itself to his face and he looked through his bag. He found a lot of sweets like his favourite sour lollipops. Vivien chose a new scarf and hat in brown colour for him, and she couldn't stop herself from packing a few pairs of extravagant socks into Ambrosie's arms that were a basket carrying her shoppings for everyone.
"So how's it outside? Still cold?" Rosaire asked.
"Steamy. Vivien made sure to make the temperature go up." Teddy taunted.
Ambrosie chuckled in approval.
Vivien scoffed and shoved him on the shoulder, causing him to fall from the bed.
He won't let me live it down, will he?
Rosaire laughed knowingly. He didn't know what was so funny, but he knew if it had something to do with Vivien, it had to be good. No. It had to be great. He made a mental note to ask Teddy and Bambi about it later.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivienย entered her room, which was quiet and dark. Her dormmates weren't back. They probably were at the dinner. The thought made her hungry. She laid her bag on the bed and unpacked it. The items she bought one by one were placed away where they belonged. After everything was organised, Vivien sat down at the table to write a short letter addressed to her mother.
"
๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต๐ธ ๐ถ๐ช๐ถ๐ช!
๐๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท ๐ธ๐๐ต ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ.
๐๐ธ๐ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ? ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ! ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ'๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ! ๐ฆ๐ฎ'๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ.
๐ก๐ธ๐ผ๐ช๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ! ๐๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ป๐ธ๐ธ๐ถ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ช๐น๐ธ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ถ. ๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐น ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ๐ญ ๐พ๐น ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ.
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐พ๐ผ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐พ๐ผ. ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ด, ๐๐ถ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ท ๐๐ธ๐ท๐ญ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ฌ๐พ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐.๐ฆ.๐๐ผ, ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ฏ ๐ฒ๐ฝ'๐ผ ๐ท๐ฎ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป. ๐ ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐ธ๐๐ท, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐.๐.๐ฆ.๐ฃ.๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ท๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ถ.
๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ช๐ผ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต!
๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ฝ๐ฑ๐.
๐๐ธ๐ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ, ๐ถ๐ช๐ถ๐ช? ๐๐ธ๐'๐ผ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ' ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ๐ผ?
๐๐ธ๐'๐ผ ๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท? ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ถ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ?
๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐,
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ท๐ท๐
"
Vivien didn't care how Regulus' parents were. She didn't worry about whether they were alive or notโshe had already seen Inรฉsโthe black owl that Regulus ownedโflying to the youngest Black two times at least.
But Vivien had to pretend. Mrs. and Mr. Black were supposed to become family and whether she liked them or not, she was supposed to act in their favour. She was supposed to become their daughter-in-law. Even though she hated having another pair of shiteless parents. I ALREADY HAD ONE!, why would she need two?
Vivien dressed back in her coat that she left on her bed and put on the new hat she just bought. Walking down the Grand Staircase, Vivien passed a lot of Ravenclaws coming back from dinner but she was focused on her own task. She had to get this letter out, even with her stomach rumbling.
"Shut up." She muttered to it, when it kept making noises of some talentless orchestral toad singing.
"I don't think it will do anything. Did you try to feed that beast inside of you?" Emmeline chuckled, making Vivien look up at her pointedly, her eyes squinting. She was walking with other of their housemates.
"Where are you walking, Vivien?" Sybill asked, her blonde brows raised.
"Owlery." Vivien waved her letter in the air.
"It's quite late for that."
Vivien dismissed Trelawney's concern with a wave of the letter and tried to move past the group. Barty stopped her, stretching out his arm in front of her.
"It's half past sevenโyou won't make it back in time before dinner ends." Pandora piped out melodically, being right.
"Well, in that case, I'll feast on Regulus." Vivien crouched down under Barty's arm.
"You won't be sleeping at ours tonight?"
"No, I am." Vivien responded over her shoulder. "Just first I will see Regulus."
"So you won't be sleeping at ours tonight." Emmelineโs tone changed to a teasing one.
Vivien showed her a middle finger. She might had overstayed her welcome at Regulus' and Evan's dormitory but they didn't seem to mind it. Someone shoved Vivien's hand down and tangled their fingers with hers.
"Regulus is just bones." Pandora joked, holding her hand.
Vivien looked to the side at her and Barty, who joined her.
"There is more hiding under those clothes than any of you could ever imagine."
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ย
ย ย ย ย ย Barty came almost an hour late for his prefect patrol with Regulus, and he justified it by claiming Vi decided that the last thing she would do before starving to death was send a letter.
Black would lie if he said he didn't notice how Vi would do things like that. But it was different for her than for him. Vivien was hungryโshe simply had other priorities at times.
It wasn't like this with eating only. Another one of her habits was paging through the Daily Prophet every evening.
Regulus exited the bathroom and she laid on her belly. She had her chin laid on her hands as she was looking at the photographs in the gazette. She read the criminal section, always so fixed on it that if the castle began collapsing, it would bury her alive. There were two options Regulus considered for why she would torture herself like that.
Oneโshe hoped to read about an unidentified corpse being found, a corpse belonging to a white male in his late forties. She still searched for her father even if he was probably dead.
Twoโsince her own family was mentioned in that section, she was only one of not many people who could relate to the families of other victims of those heinous crimes described on the pages of the Daily Prophet. She pitied victims, sometimes even daring herself to stroke the photos of those strangers to sympathise with them. She was paying her respect the same way she wished other people would do with her family.
Regulus sneaked to the bed, more open for affection and intimacy than in Evan's company. His fingers strolled along Vivien's thigh to her bum and higher under his jumper she kept wearing.
Vivien went back to reality when a tingling sensation caused a spasm to jolt down her body, Regulus' soft fingertips tickling her. The corners of her lips twitched and she glanced at him. He laid down on his side.
"Hi," He mimicked her before she could even say it.
"Hi," Vi giggled.ย
"How do we feel today, Vi?" Regulus whispered, studying her face.
"Tired but content."
"Good." He leaned closer to her for a kiss, his hand playing on her bare back.
He separated and she rested her hand on his cheek. She drew her thumb across his dimple.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"You were upset that we didn't have the same plans for today. I'm sorry that I didn't invite you, Rebulus."
"It's no issue, Vi. I understand you might want a break to see your brothers. This whole engagement is a lot, and it's fine if you are overwhelmed with it and with me. It's true that it's rare to see me without you or you without me nowadays."
Vivien's brows softened.
"Yes, this engagement is a lotโbut you're not. I wanted to check on my brothers. I'm sorry that I ruined your plan of asking me out."
Regulus was impressed. How did she get it?, his head tilted.
"How did you figure out I was trying to take you on a date?"
"Hyacinth also asked me if I had any plans at the last minute before offering me a walk." Vivien snorted.
Regulus scoffed, taking his hand away from her bare skin. Vivien cracked more.
"I'm sorry! But it's not my fault you told me those things, and now I can understand what you were up to. By the way, I also think Edgar tried to take me on a date once too."
"Begone, little witch!" Regulus turned away from her onto his other side.
Vi scrambled to him and hung her leg over his body, her hand on his waist.
"You can't be mad that I learn things from you, Rebulus."
"Some of them, Vi. Others not so much." He complained.
And just like that they were back in the changing room mentally. They were back at the banter of we talk about sex but we don't use the keyword. Regulus was perfectly aware Vivien provoked him so much because she tried to make him endure enough frustration to make him surrender against her stubbornness.
"There are some things you need to learn about me, Rebulus." She murmured and he listened. "I wasn't born a speaker and I'm shitty at opening up. But it doesn't mean I don't communicate what I want. I'm the worst liar alive. My actions are what I feel and what I think."
Regulus took a moment to think before he turned around on his back.
She moved her hand to his curls, brushing them off of his face, as she drew the lines of it like a brush against canvas. They gazed at each other.
"What do you think right now, Vi?" He asked as she entwined his curls around her fingers.
Vivien licked her lips, looking into Regulus' eyes. They were cloudy, as if the icy was melting and steaming away. She pushed herself on top of Regulus, whose eyes followed hers the whole time. She leaned on her elbow beside his head. She felt his touch on her thighs, when their lips met. Their kiss was short. But Vi stayed on top of him, feeling thrills in her chest.
"I think we need to compromise, Rebulus. I try to communicate but it will take time despite the desires I already have, and-and I can't ignore them. I don't think I can now that I know how it all feels."
"I understand that opening up is step-by-step progress, but we have to take those small steps. Of course it's on your own terms and I won't hurry you. Still, we have to set some boundaries. Whatever we do or don't do, I want it based on healthy boundaries."
Regulus smiled softly. What Vi was doing right then was communicating, even if she didn't realise that.
"You mean like safe sex?"
"Safe touch, Vi. Sex too but not only that, I want you to let me know, if you're not comfortable with me touching you in any way without being scared or getting scared out."
Vivien analysed Regulus' words. She didn't ask him if he was fine with her touching him! She felt nervous for a second. Am I supposed to stay on Regulus? Am I supposed to get off? Her eyes wandered down to Regulus' jumper, avoiding his face.
"You never tell me if you don't like being touched by me. I want to know that too." She spoke quietly.
"Fair." Regulus agreed. It was simply the fact that he felt safe with her. She could bite him roughly sometimes but it was never to abuse him and he liked it.
Vivien had an idea in her head. She could be very touchy with him while she wasn't entitled to Black at all.
"I think we could use a safe word. When one of us does something but the other doesn't want it, we can say like-" She hesitated. "-stop without saying stop. You know-it's justโI just-I donโt think I can ever use it again like this or at all."
Vivien barely formed her words in a whisper, her eyes lowering from Regulusโ face. She felt her throat tighten, close to puking after she said the word.
Because I just can't use it ever again like this, Regulus' heart ached at her confession. He wondered how many times had she said stop without being listened to, to be so disgusted with it?
"Like a secretive code word?" He asked, smiling gently, not questioning it to not abash her.
"Yes. It has to be something unsexy that wouldn't create misunderstandings during our talks."
Through the bad memories, Vivien was trying to find a magical word that would be like a spellโworking immediately when saidโstopping everything when said.
Regulus wouldn't take that from her. It was her comfort on the line, and he was glad she felt safe enough with him to communicate that.
"Something unsexy..." Regulus pretended to think and Vi observed him. "What about Edgar?"
Vivien scoffed at his joke, straightening in her seat that he was.
"I'm sorry to tell you, but you have bad taste if you think Edgar is not sexy."
Ouch. Regulus had that strong feeling of envy that made him want to check out how Evanesco worked on people.
"Maybe Cowecto?" Vi poked him in the chest.
Regulus would roll his eyes, if he wasn't too jealous for that.
"I actually thought about Potter?"
"Obviously you didn't see him naked."
Regulus clenched on Vivienโs thighs, on the edge of planning how to Evanesco James Potter and Edgar Bones. Vi couldn't admire their attractiveness, if it didn't exist!
The couple stared at each other. Vi felt some favour building in her as she was looking down on Regulus and he dug in her. He was trapped between her legs, his slim fingers burying into their muscles. They were eye-fighting when she had her hands laid on his chest. And her parts were feeling nicely. They couldn't have sex right then and there! Evan can walk at any moment! It's his dormitory too!
Regulus tried to stay grounded despite how Vi's bum on him put pressure on him. He felt such a need to make Vi forget about the existence of other boys, when she was on top of him. Vivien swallowed, trying to focus under the weight of the tension in the air.
"Regulus, I want you badly. It might be selfish, but since that night on the Astronomy Tower, I want you for myself. To kiss my lips, to drill your fingers in my ass, to bite my neck, and-and to lick my tits." She bit her bottom lip.
Regulus felt heat, but it was cooling to see Vivien shy too. Her cheeks turned pink at such an intimate confession of her quilt.
"Whatever you can give me, I want that. You are so passionate, Regulus. If that's what you wanted me to say out loud or hear, I can assure you of that now. It's just-it's very confusing. I've never felt so-so-"
Vi couldn't collect her thoughts.
"So attracted to someone?" Regulus smirked, acting cocky.
Vivien was very attracted to him and she nodded.
Regulus couldn't not be satisfied.
Maybe it wasn't being in love but he couldn't complain about the bodily pleasure that Vi gave him. He kept repeating that to himself. Maybe if he did that enough times, his heart wouldn't sink so badly in the ocean of pity. It was not good to have your emotions rejected for four years but at very least he had Vi on top of him, puberty making them hormonal.
"Yes, I've never felt so attached to someone and it's weird. And sometimes it's hard to open up with words, but my desires don't change. Just because I don't say something doesn't mean I don't show it." Vivien claimed. "And I've been trying to show you, and you kept ignoring that."
Maybe if Vi praised Black enough for his cock, his self-esteem would rise, even if it didnโt feel good being liked only thanks to his body. It was saddening that after the time they had already spent together, Vi was not able to like his personality even a little, no matter how hard he tried to prove he wasn't that corrupted persona.
"Show me what?" Regulus tilted his head, his tone slow and hypnotising.
Vivien grinned. Arrogant. How hot Regulus' temperament is! She began drawing patterns with her index finger on his chest.
"Show you how much I crave you, Rebulus. How much do I want to whisper dirty things into your ear and suck on your skin... You are so pretty and I don't care if it's selfish. I want that pretty for myself. I want you to be mine and only mine. You are too precious to share with someone else, my little star."
Regulus Arcturus fucking Black had the face of an angel, the mannerism of Satan, and the confidence of God. There was nothing more dangerous than Mother Nature giving that combination to a teenage boy.
Chapter 23: the hottest witch
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย "Myrtle." Zahara bowed her head at the ghost of a teenage girl floating by the sinks, looking at herself in one of the mirrors. Vivien passed her quietly, only winking her eye at her reflection, making her giggle.
Zahara chuckled.
"This is quite unfairโyou have your way around the toughest." She commented.
"Myrtle is not, though." Vivien argued, sitting down at the windowsill with Z.
"Thank you." Myrtle beamed a bright smile. She turned around and, floating over the sink with her legs crossed.
"She's a bit rough, and someone has to have their way around people like this since no one else has." Vivien continued.
But that was literally the point! It was impossible. That's why no one had it! Except Vivien. Of course Vivien was there as living proof for the rest that they were wrong.
Zahara rolled her eyes. "Nevermind."
Vivien narrowed her eyes, but ditched the subject too. Instead, a smirk appeared on her face.
"So how was your date with Anthony?"
Zahara inhaled and exhaled, letting out under a breath, "Good."
"Just good?" Vivien wiggled her eyebrows.
She blushed and leaned towards her friend to shove her on the shoulder. "Stop!"
"You pure-bloods always act the prudiest, but are the naughtiest." Vivien hit her weakly, tittering.ย
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was talking to the expert on the matter."
"Weren't you the one calling Regulus the certified prude?"
"Weren't you the one just calling Regulus an arseclown?"
"If you saw young Black naked, you would also begin showing some respect."
The two stared at each other. No, it wasn't Vivien to tell the truth.
What the fuck, Myrtle! Vivien looked at the ghost, her eyes twitching. She shared a glance with Zahara, who was trying to suppress her snort. Vivien looked back at the ghost.
"What did you just say?" She asked the most composed she could stay. "How would you know about what Regulus looks like naked, Martha?"
"Martha has trouble losing her way in sewers sometimes, and I believe she happened to turn the wrong side a few times before and peep into the prefects' bathroom." Zahara half-smiled.
Vivien's eye kept twitching as she stared at Myrtle and her silly smile.
Vivien jumped up to her feet and she squealed, hopping into one of the pipes, vanishing in the sewer system.
Zahara cracked up an ugly laugh.
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ย
ย ย ย ย ย "What do you mean by Lupin, Pettigrew, MacDonald, McKinnon, and my brother?" Regulus asked, marching after Vivien through the castle corridor.
"I mean Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, and Sirius. They all saw me naked." She sang melodically, careless.
"You weren't intimate with any of them, because you would tell me, Vi."
"I didn't say that we were close to me. I said they saw me arse bare. By the way, your brother wouldn't play with me." She looked at Black over her shoulder.
Regulus was heating up and he loosened the tie around his neck with one firm move. He thought he would heat up things with Vi with a little bickering since they were so exciting, but Vivien kept him on his toes again. Humbling, to say the least.
ย
โฑโโฐ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย "She's like the decades-old ghost of a teenage girl who probably died a virgin in her defence. Regulus is doing voluntary work." Evan commented, making the rest erupt in spilling laughter.
Vivien and Zahara had approached the group of their friends at the Slytherin table and the young witch tried to be subtle about her issue. But Vivien's real issue was that she didn't know what subtle meant. And the whole spectacle was ridiculous.
Vivien suggested to Regulus that he should stop using the prefects bathroom anymore only to find out that he knew Myrtle was watching him and he let her!
"He doesn't even take care of me, and he wants to take care of another girl?!" Vivien pointed at Black accusingly.
He laid his hand on his heart, insulted.
"If that's so, she can have him. I don't want him."
"Vi, she's a ghost. She can't touch me. She can't even touch herself." He raised his eyebrows.
Vivien scoffed.
"You won't be able to do the same after you get your cock bitten off." She scowled Regulus, making him smirk.
"Will you be the one to do the honours?"
Vi didn't flinch. Not a single muscle moved as she stared blankly at Regulus, friends howling like wild beasts.
YES, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SO DEEPLY IT WILL COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! The young witch smirked sarcastically as she stretched out on the table towards Black. She pointed her finger at him like a knife.
"Keep acting up, and I will eat Alecto out so badly she will forget your name, expose myself to Myrtle so well she will forget your body, and then I will steal all of your girl-friends. You're not the only one who likes girls in our friendship."
Vivien didn't like not being taken seriously when she was. It made her furious, while she was already frustrated. Regulus wanted to test Vi, but it didn't go as he suspected it to. His face fell and his Adam's apple bobbed.
Vi enjoyed girls, but did she prefer them?! That was a question that needed to be answered immediately! Had she ever touched any girls? Maybe she was just joking to frustrate him back!
Everyone went silent but Vivien was already stomping away with her arms crossed on her chest.
Dorcas whistled meaningfully at the hot news. She shared glances with Barty, Pandora, Zahara, and Evan. In the meantime, Regulus jumped up to his feet to follow after her.
ย
โฑโโฐ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย That's why he boiled. Instead of having his questions answered, only more of them were created.
Had Vi had a thing with Mary MacDonald? It had been with McKinnon, hadnโt? Did any of them even like girls like that too?
The most important question was, "What do you mean my brother wouldn't play with' you?"
Vi smiled sweetly, strolling, Regulus stretching after her like a shadow.
"Exactly what it means." She mused.
"Which is?"
"You know."
Vivien felt a hand grasp her wrist gently. Slowly, she turned around to face Regulus. Even when he tried to be tough, he was a gentleman.
"Did you try to sleep with my brother?" His eyebrow quirked.
"Merlin, no. Your brother probably doesn't wash his arse, and I don't like that." Vivien said smugly like it was obvious and well-known information to the whole worldโmaybe in her world.
"So he tried to get into your knickers, but didn't?" Regulus questioned, quirking his eyebrow more.
Vi nodded her head, a sweet smile of hers rested on her face.
"Why?"
"Obviously because I'm the hottest witch but the coldest bitch."
Ironically, she proved the sincerity of her sarcastic words to him, her expression becoming a mocking one. She looked so attractive when she was acting rude.
"Merlin. Sirius tried to pursue me once during the party, and then he realised who I really was and started talking about how his younger brother is all over me and he couldn't do this to him. But he claimed I'm hard to resist."
Regulus half-smiled, his and Vi's eyes flickering friskily just the same. They felt that tension between them, standing in the empty corridor.
"Huh, so now I'm Sirius' younger brother?"
Vivien felt Regulus' hot touch on her waist as he tried to prove he was way more to Vi than Sirius Black's younger brother. That it was actually Sirius who became Regulus's older brother.
"You were Sirius' younger brother from the beginning." She tilted her head.
"Am I still only that then?"
Vi was giving Regulus' a free hand. She felt he wanted to walk her to the wall and pin her against it. She let him.
"Kind of, but you can be his cousin as well."
Regulus chuckled, pinning Vi to the wall by her god-sculpted waist. She observed him through her lashes.
"Is it how you want it to go? By talking about my family tree?"
She was looking at him with her big innocent eyes, but her overly unbothered behaviour was revealing the truthโthat she was excited as much as Regulus was.
"What is it?" She asked innocently. She wanted Regulus to take the initiative. She wanted to check what he would do on his own. It was weird.
Vi gave Regulus power over her but she was still the one in control. He was a doll in her play.
Regulus leaned down towards Vi's ear, his lips stroking the edge, giving her goosebumps.
"'It' is me taking you in this empty corridor the way we both crave."
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ย ย ย ย ย In the blink of an eye, Vi and Regulus were all over each other in some bathroom. There were no words to describe the things that happened. Regulus had Vi slammed against the wall of the stall, her back resting against it, her legs wrapped around his hips, his trousers unbelted and unzipped slipping on his legs.
He was thrusting into Vivien, kissing with her clumsily, her lips uncontrollable when she was moaning in pleasure.
Her fingers were tangled into his curls that she was yanking on, a moaning mess. When Regulus hit Vi's euphoric spot perfectly, she bit his bottom lip in surprise. After Regulus whimpered his fuck, it occurred to Vi that she didn't remember the moment she and Regulus entered the bathroom. She didn't remember if they blocked the door or used a silencing charm.
Vivien had her miniskirt furled to her waist, her panties hanging off of one of her feet. She pulled him away by his curls. Something was wrong. Vivien was between classesโwhy would I be wearing a miniskirt? Where are our bags?! Where the fuck we left our bags?! She looked around, bewildered.
"Vi?" She felt someone stroke her skin after they brushed the strand of her hair off her face. She opened her eyes and saw real Regulus sit at the bedside.
"Hmmm?" Vivien hummed sleepily, blinking with her tired eyes.
Regulus tried to stop his smirk from growing. When he woke up not so long before, Vivien was knotted around him like usual. Yet something was different. She was clenched around him and he could feel how she wiggled her hips a little in her sleep against his hipbone. He assumed she had had an intense dream and got up not wanting to unaware Vivien hump his hip in her sleep. He guessed that if she didn't have a partner to hump on, she would stop. She did, but soon a moan escaped from her lips... That caused Evan to chuckle.
Rosier barely woke, and thankfully he couldn't notice suspicious things that had happened under Regulus' duvet before. Still, his ear caught that little moan coming from Vivien. Regulus didn't need another boy to share that beautiful melody with.
"You were making sounds in your sleep." He told her shortly, but honestly.
"Oh, sorry. I had a nightmare." Vivien made up that out of the top of her head, her voice dry and quiet.
Nightmare Regulus' arse! Evan chuckled more, stretching his sore neck
"I don't think that was a whimper of horror." He remarked, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes.
Vivien rolled her lips inside her mouth, cheeks tainted pink. She looked at the ceiling of the room. Regulus shot him a stare but Evan snickered, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Piss off, Evan. Do you need a reminder about your wet dreams?"
OH MERLIN! Vi felt her cheek grow hotter! Did Regulus and Evan think I had the girl version of the boys' wet dream? Did I have it?! She was only a little flustered after the make-out session she had with Regulus that the Fat Friar interrupted, Another time, don't get caught, children.
He let the two teenagers go without any reprimand, smiling about catching the two teenagers redhanded like criminals.
The whole morning, Evan didn't want to let Vivien live down the embarrassment of having an erotic dream.
Vivien wasn't embarrassed about having that dream! She was embarrassed about how lustful Regulus was making her! She dreamed about him, when he was literally lying beside her. And she was so luscious between her legs, she had to shove her pyjamas bottoms down Regulus' and Evan's laundry basket, paranoid that one of them would notice how creamy their crotch was if they laid on top.
During breakfast, Evan kept teasing Vivien since she acted like a little lambโall quiet and shy. Regulus kept kicking him at the ankle under the table.
When Hermes dropped off the letter addressed to Vivien, she quickly ate breakfast and ran to her own dormitory, alone.
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"
๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฑ๐พ๐๐๐,
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐. ๐ธ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ฝ ๐ธ๐น๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐น, ๐ฝ๐'๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐.
๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐' ๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐น๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ถ๐.
๐๐ถ๐๐ถ
๐ซ๐ฎ: ๐ธ๐น๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐พ๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ป ๐๐๐. ๐ป๐'๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ธ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ป๐.
"
ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was shocked! That had to be the longest letter her mother had ever written!
There were six pictures rolled in that Eden drew. Every single one of them was addressed to the specific person. The six pictures were similar. In the pictures, there were seven figures standing in lineโEden, Philippe, Rosaire, Teddy, Ambrosie, Vivien, Regulus, and Evan. In the back, there was running Dusty, whom Poe was chasing.
On one of the tree branches sat Dove and Raven, swinging their feet happily. The sky was light blue, full of white clouds and pigeons. The scenery reminded Vivien of the park nearby the Black family residence. The only difference between the pictures was the colour of the clothes everyone wore. In the picture dedicated to Vivien, everyone was wearing purple tonesโher favourite one.
Vivien immediately tried to put up the picture on the wall behind her bed. She dug out the tape-thing from the desk drawer that Sybie left there. Vivien found there the other picture there which she was too sheepish to put up on the wall sooner. It was a picture of Regulus and Eden sleeping together. Little Eden was cuddling with Black in their sleep. Vivien thought it was lost after she had left it on her nightstand. She thought it flew out of the dormitory after she forgot to close the window and left the dormitory. Bibie had to save it from that fate, hiding it in a drawer of the desk.
Vivien smiled, feeling encouraged to put up two pictures on her wall. She climbed on her bed, her knees resting in pillows. She started to tear uneven pieces of that tape-thing. It was quite a hard task and the tape-thing pieces were looking ugly, but Vivien shrugged to herself. They weren't that important.
She landed her arse on her heels to admire her tiny art gallery. She was smiling, gazing at the two drawings on the wall. The longer Vivien watched those pictures, the more she was pressed to one of her heels. She felt some friction, shifting on her foot.
Vivien bit her bottom lip, looking down at her body. She gazed around the room like there was anyone who could see what she was doing. Vivien knew that nice feeling but she never before felt so ashamed about experiencing it. She was adoring the masterpiece that little Eden made!
Vivien had never before thought about touching herself. It felt criminal or even sinful that she began to at all. It was just an impulse but she got out of the bed, and let all the curtains fall to the ground. She came closer to the door and whispered Colloportus, blocking them.
Emmeline went out for her quidditch training, and Sybie went to watch it with Pandora and Barty. Those two's shared goal was to pile shite on McKinnon judging her silently as a new captain. Vivien knew she had some time for herself when she pulled down her stockings and panties.
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ย ย ย ย ย It has to be Mother Nature's punishment for sinning!
Vivien would feel more satisfied, if she smashed her forehead on the washbasin! She was anything but rested. She was stressed that some ghosts were watching her. It was better to sin with Regulus! She was too focused on him to remember her irrational fears about being constantly judged by someone.
She was thrusting her ring and middle fingers inside of her and it felt terrible! It almost felt as if she had bad sex with Nolan all over again! The only thing she was close to was crying! She was judged for sinning in such a repulsive way by the non-existing ghosts and it wasn't even worth it! Vivien felt erratic and frantic!
She stopped whatever that was and landed her face on the blanket, tears gathering in her eyes. She didn't understand why she touched herself, but pleasuring herself only made her more angry with herself. She was frustrated and disgusted.
She took a deep breath and anxiety hit her. There is so much dust in that small room! She had to go outside!
Vivien collected herself fast, went to the bathroom to wash her hands, and returned to her bed where she hurriedly dressed back into her panties and stockings. She put her loafers on her feet and ran out of the room.
Vivien ran until she was out of the Ravenclaw Tower and further. She was passing some students on the Grand Staircase until someone stopped her by grasping her wrist.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Vivia." Emmeline chuckled after Barty caught her.
They were with Rora and Sybie like Vivien would assume they would be. They all seemed to be in good moods but sheepish Vivien running down the stairs had them surprised. She ran carelessly, pushing past them and everyone else. When she faced them, she was anxious. Her cheeks, nose, and eyes were pinkish.
"I have to go." Her voice was raspy from the cold temperature embracing her throat and lungs as she ran.
Before anyone could ask her anything, Vivien yanked her hand away from Barty and rushed. They stared at each other, conflicted. Pandora narrowed her eyebrows.
"Does she know there was a temperature drop?"
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien went out. She stood on the paving right in the centre of the Cloak Tower courtyard. A few teenagers glanced at her. wearing their heavy coats, as she stood in her jumper, kicking stones. She was hugging herself to keep herself warm. She crouched down on the ground and picked up the dead leaf. She crushed it in her fingers, hearing a snort coming from behind.
"Beauchรชne, for the love of Merlin, what are you doing?" Edgar approached her and she straightened.
"Staying in contact with nature." Vivien responded, making him shake his head in disbelief. He took off his bomber jacket.
"What? Are you trying to find your way to the druid roots?" He handed her his jacket. She accepted it and put it on.
Edgar zipped it for her. She brushed her hair, throwing it to her back.
"How did you find me?" She asked silently.
"Dermott told me you shoved him into the door after he was coming back from owlery."
"That is a vile accusation! I did not do such a thing!" Vivien protested, scandalised to be a victim of such a lie.
"Of course, you didn't." Edgar assured her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "So tell me, Fifi, what's got you so troubled?"
"I'm not troubled!" She looked at him, maniacal again. Her eyes wide open.
"In my humble opinion, touching dead leaves in a miniskirt when it is freezing outside seems like the behaviour of someone troubled."
Vivien scoffed at Edgar's cheekiness.
"I'm glad that you were here to save me from the oppression then."
He squeezed her shoulder. Her wrinkled nose smoothed immediately.
"I hate you." She murmured, smiling.
"No, you don't." Edgar commented and began directing their steps back inside the castle.
At the door, they met Teddy,
"Oh, here you are, sissy." He breathed out, clearly chasing her down.
"Who told you they saw me?" She tilted her head.
"Edna said, and I quote, Your maniac sister nearly pushed Gwen down the stairs!"
Vivien huffed. Vile accusations!
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien spent her time with Edgar and Teddy. They sneaked into the kitchen, where they found Zahara eating the slightly old desserts that elves had left from feasts. She was reading a romance book and savouring black tea. Hearing the door open, she glanced up. A smile molded on her full lips and she waved her hand for them as a gesture to join her.
They didn't interrupt the elves who didn't mind them sitting in the corner of one of the tables.
"Teddy, I expected so much better from you." Zahara pointed her little spoon. "Sernik over French Fancy any day!"
Vivien winced. She didnโt like French Fancy, but she hated cheesecake more. Especially after she had been treated with a raisin version once! She bit into her chocolate muffin, listening to Teddy and Zahara bicker over the baked goods. Edgar stretched out an arm, holding a spoonful of strawberry towards her. She parted her lips for him mindlessly, focused much more on the discussion.
"Merlin's bread!" Teddy couldn't believe what he heard! He looked Zahara up and down. "I could tell you the same, because that's just foolish. Cheesecake is so heavy and sugary. It's like a crime against a cake."
"Agleed." Vivien nodded her head, chewing the fruit, fully on her brother's side.
Zahara's scoffed, insulted by the Beauchรชnes and their ignorance. She looked at Edgar for some support. He put his hands up in the air.
"As long as it's sweet, I will eat it out." He smirked, shrugging his shoulders.
Teddy and Zahara rolled their eyes together. Teenage boys.
Vivien stayed silent.
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ย ย ย ย ย During dinner, Black was looking around. Vi was quite anxious. She was pretty impulsive and Regulus hoped she didn't get out of the castle and froze to death.
Pandora smiled to herself, watching his eyes trail everywhere in search of one and only until they rested on Vivien entering the Great Hall with Zahara and Edgar. Teddy went in his own direction towards the Hufflepuff table to join his friend Declan.
Bones and Zahara walked Vi towards the rest of her friends.
She was grinning with Zahara's hand locked around her strangely big arm. Regulus squinted his eyes. Vivien was wearing a weird jacket that was too big for her. She was wearing Bones' jacket! And Bones was smirking, following behind her! Zahara was smiling too!
It occurred to Regulus that he wasn't aware if he was more jealous of Edgar or Zahara.
"Black, lose your belt. It's pressing you a little too hard." Emmeline chuckled, and he stormed her with a glare.
Vivien approached her laughing friends.
"Hi," Her shy attitude from the morning was gone. Regulus and she glanced at each other. He put a forkful of a meat pie into his mouth, instead of responding.
"Hi," Dorcas said with a wink of an eye, while everyone else was very smiley.
Not Regulus.
Sybie waved her hand and Vivien sat down beside her, while Zahara and Edgar took their seats beside. Sybill sat with Emmeline and Dorcas, and on the other side of the table sat Pandora, Regulus, Barty, and Evan.
The dinner was silent and everyone heard how the silence was, voices of other teenagers a whisper in the back of everyoneโs heads. Regulusโ jealousy was thick and stilling.
Vivien didn't take a hintโit was opposite to Vivien that she was in the morning. Morning Vivien would overthink every breath Regulus took. This Vivien placed two meat pies on her plate. As she was putting the fork up to her mouth, she noticed everyone peeping at her. She narrowed her eyes at how uncomfortable it was. She ignored her friends and tried to consume her food. Yet they kept looking at her eating, which made her self-conscious. She lost her patience.
"What?" She was annoyed, her tone of voice raised and higher than always.
"So foxy," Barty half-smiled, waiting for the opportunity.
Pandora tried to reach him under the table with her shoe, but by accident she kicked Regulus and he raised his prominent brows at her judgingly.
"What were you doing that needed the closing of the curtains?"
"What?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, forgetting about that.
"In the dormitory, when me, Pandora, and the lovebirds entered it, the curtains were closed. Why?"
"How would I know? I was not with you." Vivien shrugged.
"Oh, right." Crouch slapped his forehead, smiling foolishly.
Zahara giggled.
"Silly you, Bartemius. How did you not notice it?"
"I know."
"For a second, there you forgot,"
"That you are talking to the master of lying."
Vivien rolled her eyes at them.
The corners of Regulus' lips twitched and she saw it. She was so worried he would be grumpy that she left him for a whole day alone without a word. But the truth was, she had no. When Vivien had her eyes ebbing on Regulus, Barty stretched out on the table towards her, pointing his fork at her.
"You, my little fox, were touching yourself!" He accused Vivien, reading her a little too well.
Messed up bed, messed up Vivien, closed curtains, instant need to feel the sunlight and smell the fresh air, embarrassment, and isolation. It brought back memories.
Vivien blinked blankly.
"More like I tortured myself. Whatever I did was anything but pleasure." She said straight to her point. No thoughts, just going through things!
"Oh my god!"
"Vivien!"
"Bartemius!"
Barty and Vivien snickered maliciously at being scolded. They were like two hyenas, preying on everyone's innocent ears. Deep down, somewhere in Vivien was hiding a thirteen-year-old boy. She had his personality!
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ย ย ย ย ย Finally a dry week later, the moment Dorcas Meadowes had been waiting for came! October 22nd of 1977โthe first quidditch match of the season. Slytherin versus Hufflepuff.
It was Saturday and the weather wasn't the worst. It was cold and windy, but the sun was shining brightly. Vivien dragged her feet through the grass, bantering with Regulus. She was wearing his Slytherin hat. In the meantime, his hatless curls were flying in every direction. Vi kept brushing them away from Regulus' face.
In exchange, he thanked her with the view of his sweet dimples. They were wandering to the pitch with their friends that they ignoredโor didnโt realise they existed. Barty pretended to puke, and Pandora hit him at the back of his head, smiling with Dorcas and Evan. They didn't interrupt the young pair.
Regulus woke to the sensation of Vi's hot lips all over his chest after she sneaked under his jumper. The dormitory was empty, and Vivien took the chance to surprise him. She left her wet kisses all over Regulus' thin chest as a promise of the afternoon she would give him, even if it was in a dressing room's shower. She would celebrate with him under any circumstances, at any time, and at any place.
On the pitch, the group saw Edgar Bones in all his glory, fooling around with the Hufflepuff players. When Edgar noticed Vivien, he winked at her. It didn't go unnoticed by Regulus, especially since Vi sent Bones an air kiss back. He hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her into him, while their friends enjoyed their conversation. She looked over her shoulder, smiling sweetly.
"Do I get a kiss too?" The tip of Regulus' nose brushed against Vivien's cheek.
"What for?"
"Maybe for some good luck?"
"No..." She scrunched her nose. "I think you've already got all I had reserved."
"It seems to me you still have a little more saved."
"If you need motivation, I have an idea or two." She bit her bottom lip.
"Yeah?"
"Yes. If you lose, Edgar will get lucky tonight too."
Regulus parted little from her back. He quirked his eyebrow.
"Is that so?"
"Yh-ym." Vi hummed, nodding her head.
"What do I get if I win?"
She smirked.
"If you win, maybe I will let you watch how I fly on his broomstick." Regulus rolled his eyes, but a smirk rested on his mouth. He squeezed Vi tighter, his lips embraccing her cheek.
"In his dreams." He mumbled out against her soft skin.
If Regulus didn't receive a good-luck kiss from Vi, he would steal one from her lips. She turned in his arms and knotted her hands around his neck. Their minty breaths blended, Vi's breasts flowing against Regulus'. They looked into each other's eyes. Regulus' grey ones were steady like calm water, but Vivien's green ones were wild like an earthquake.
They were fighting about who would give in and go first for the pleasure until-
"Kiss her already, or I will steal your wife, Black." Emmeline joked as she ruined the couple's moment.
Vivien grumbled.
"Now I don't want it." She took off her hands of Regulus and he let her.
Emma broke the tension, and it didn't feel exciting anymore! It's disturbed!
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ย ย ย ย ย Emmeline Vance read from Vivien that her unneeded joke wouldn't be forgiven! Before the match started, Vivien would intentionally talk over her whenever Emma opened her mouth to speak. It was adorable.
Vivien was childish, and Em let her have that revenge because it would be forgotten once the match started.
Vivien was never really interested in quidditch before. She was always there to laugh, make others laugh, or bug them if she was bored and ignored. Now suddenly, Vivien was very interested in itโor one of the players. Sexโthe oldest motive known to the world. Hormones alert the teenage brain like nothing else does.
When Hooch whistled, fourteen players flew into the air. The game started. Vivien had never before been so focused in her life. The game itself wasn't rousing for her. But Evan and Sybie, sitting on her sides, could tell something definitely roused her. Or rather, someone like Barty whispered into Pandoraโs ear. It made them both titter, which got them scolded. Vivienโs scolding made Sybie, Em, and Evan only crack in louder laughter, all sitting in Ravenclaws' stands.
Vivien rolled her eyes before they returned to Regulus. She prayed to Mother Nature that it would get less windy and Black would catch that snitch because the seeker's job was the least dynamic one for the most part. It was quite boring to watch him and the Hufflepuff's seeker trying to spot that golden piece of shite. But obviously, she still wanted Regulus to catch it!
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was playing with Sybie's hand after quite some time. She zoned out and began drawing her fingertips on lines of Trelawney's small hand, forgetting the match.
"Finally Regulus Black spots the snitch."
Vivien's ears perked up as she recognised Felicity Thimblewick's frivolous voice. She squinted her eyes.
"What the fuck?" Vivien muttered, gazing between her friends. "How did Thimblewick land the commentary position?"
Everyone looked at the young witch. Felicity had been talking for over an hour and a half! Horniness was consuming Vivien's brain! Pandora was about to say something but Thimblewick squealed into the microphone.
"He dodges a bludger! Look at the young Black goโhe makes it look so effortless!"
"Does she remember she's Hufflepuff?!" Vivien jumped up, ready to throw her hands in her direction. Ravenclaws sitting burst out like bubbles around at her outburst of jealousy.
I will sweep Hogwarts' grounds with this shedding red hair!, Vivien figured out why Felicity Thimblewick decided to land the commentary position. Evan took her fists into his, pulling them down.
"What? You're going to fight her from across the pitch?"
"I guess you're not the only one who wants to fly on Regulus' broomstick today, foxy." Barty rubbed his hands together sinisterly.
He winked at Vivien, who tried to strike him with a glare.
Vivien looked at Regulus, dissatisfied. In one thing, she had to agree with Felicityโhe made flying on the broom look effortless. Unfortunately, in the chase for the golden snitch, he was competing with Ezekiel Abbott.
So much happened on that pitch, and Vivien couldn't focus. Everyone was flying everywhere as if out of their spite for her. None was doing anything, and suddenly everyone remembered they are playing! That's why she didn't like sports! They were chaotic!
Vivien's eyes tried to follow Regulus and Ezekiel when they kept hitting each other with their sides. It was quite unfairโAbbott had a dad body and probably the strength of an adult bear. Still, Regulus didn't seem concerned, nudging back.
Vivien grabbed Evan's hand. She was the one concerned! Doll is at risk of hip re-growing! She couldn't explain what happened.
In one moment Ezekiel was elbowing Regulus, and in another Regulus smacked Abbott with his boney side so hard that he lost balance. Vivien was squeezing Evan's hand until Regulus didn't get rid of Ezekiel. Black chased after that stupid piece of gold until Ludovic Bagman shot a bludger flying at him.
Somehow, he dodged it!
"Unbelievable! Young Black dodges again! Those hip movements are amazing! It's evident he had a lot of practice during his long summer."
"Thimblewick, tell us more about games and less about players!"
McGonagall's scowl echoed through the pitch. Regulus was a multitasker, yet that caught him off guard. Felicity had less than nothing to say about the actual game of quidditch.
Sadly, he had to be humble for the first time in his life and admit that he didn't train a lot of his hips with Vivien, like Felicity had suggestedโhe was only that naturally talented.
Unluckily once he got distracted, the bludger he just dodged came back for him.
Chapter 24: losing mind
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien tried to act all unaffected. But Evan and Pandora kept hurrying her with constant rolls of their eyes. Barty was actually unbothered, going after her with giggling Emmeline and Sybill.
Vivien saw the crowd on the pitch and slowly dragged her feet towards it. Students were chanting, and Dorcas was hugging all of her teammates, even Doyle and Amycus. Surprised, they hugged her back. Last but not least, was Regulus. Cassie threw her arms around his neck, hugging him the tightest.
"I fucking love you, Black!" She gritted through her teeth, getting lockjaw from excitement.
Regulus embraced her back, grinning too. Vivien saw the scene after Barty and Evan helped her and Pandora push their way through the chanting Slytherins. She felt an arm creep on her shoulders.
"Beauchรชne, our saviour!" Amycus, Cecil, and Doyle appeared on her sides. "Do you give private lessons! I think I could use some work on my quidditch techniques!"
"No thanks! From what I've heard your hips are harder than your dick!" She shouted through all the noises, rolling her eyes. She shoved him away.
Regulus and Dorcas heard Vivien and their embrace loosened. Cassie smiled, seeing Vivien dusting off her coat after she cleared Carrow out. He backed away with Avery and Mulciber, who were snickering. He pushed them.
Regulus faced Vivien. She stood a few feet away, getting bumped from time to time. When his eyes met hers, there was no hope for him to see a single of his friends. Barty pretended to gag all over again because of the heart-shaped eyes Regulus had focused on Vivien.
"Hi!" Black exclaimed, so Vivien could hear him.
She stood there for a moment without any further reaction than smiling until she closed the distance between her and Regulus. The young couple heard cheering once Vi crushed her lips on Regulus after pulling him to her height.
One of her hands rested on his neck, and another on his cheek. Regulus was quite breathless from the match and he rested his forehead against Vi's after the kiss that tested so sweetly on his tongue. Her lips were moving at a speed he couldn't keep up with. Vivien let him catch his breath that tickled her skin.
"So what I see is that I get lucky for a near-death experience?" Regulus smirked.
Vivien pressed her mouth in a thin line, shaking her head. He frowned and she turned around, landing her back on his chest. She caught his hands in hers and drew them along her figure theatrically.
She sweetened her tone, imitating Felicity's flirty voice.
"You get lucky for being extremely sexy, and that unbelievable hip work of yours!" She hit her arse on his crotch.
Teenagers around howled at the show that Vivien gave Regulus. Still, the young couple was too into each other.
Regulus took a hold of Vi's hands and wrapped them around her waist, leaning into her ear.
"To be honest, I'm quite insulted that she assumed you taught me this. If it wasn't for that sexy hip work of mine, you wouldn't make me the luckiest boy to begin with." He whispered dirty things into her ear and she smirked deviously.
Somewhere inside, she fluttered at his naughtiness to say something like that in public.
"You want to see something, Vi?" Regulus changed the topic and Vivien got caught in the trap, intrigued.
She looked over her shoulder at him, nodding. She felt one of Regulus' hands leave her body. He searched for something in the pocket of his quidditch robe. Soon, he held out in front of their faces that stupid golden snitch. Vivien smiled, pulling his hand by his wrist closer to her face to take a good look at the tiny thing. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he noticed how her irises glimmered and his eyebrows arose.
"You have never seen it from up close before?"
"No." She answered.
"You can hold it."
"Really?" Vivien grinned.
"I caught it specially for you. It would be dishonour, if you couldn't."
Vivien accepted the thing, inspecting it carefully.
"Potter never let you see the snitch?"
"He was convinced I would throw it in the air, and he would have to go and chase it down himself."
Regulus rolled his eyes.
"It's not like he wouldn't love the glory of his team catching it twice in one afternoon but please don't do that, Vi."
Vivien didn't throw it away. But she felt nervous just letting go of it, scared it would fall to the ground and break. Once she did let go of it, the snitch stretched out its little wings, flapping them to stay in the air. She grinned joyfully and glanced at Regulus, who smiled proudly.
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ย ย ย ย ย Madame Hooch ended Slytherin's celebration party on the pitch, confiscating the golden snitch after Vivien enjoyed a few minutes she had to play with it. Regulus enjoyed how joyful she was, catching it and letting go of it for it to fly up every time.
The Great Hall was packed, when Vi entered it, swinging her and Regulus' hands, their fingers tangled together. Students were congratulating Regulus on his win and good match as the two walked along the Slytherin table. Evan, Dorcas, Barty, and Pandora had already taken seats, Meadowes still dressed in her quidditch uniform like Regulus.
Vivien silently sat down beside Pandora, Regulus with herโacross from the trio of Evan, Cassie, and Barty on the other side. Even though Vivien hated sports, she seemed the proudest of Regulus' win. She was beaming so lightly. They all were eating the food off of their plates, silently letting the two quidditch players catch a breath. Dorcas was smiling too, satisfied with Regulus' win. Just the other one. She had no doubt he would catch the snitch and that they would beat the shite out of Bones' arse.
Vi was taking glances at him the whole time, fond of him. And it was heartwarming. Vi was heartwarming.
Meadowes kicked Evan at the ankle under the table and he moaned in pain. He stared at her. She pointed her head at Regulus and Vivien looking at them.
Evan cringed but Dorcas gave him a serious look.
He cleared his throat, "Reg, foxyโI've been thinking-"
"That's new." Barty snickered but Dorcas kicked him under the table too.
Vivien ignored them, she and Evan looking at each other. "Yes?"
"I think I'm going to get lost for a few hours away from our dormitory for now." He said shortly.
Regulus immediately got a hint, biting on his meat pie.
Vivien tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing. "Where are you going?"
"Elsewhere." Evan sighed.
"What does it mean?"
"Around."
"What for?"
Vivien didn't get the hint.
Regulus chuckled at Evan, glancing at him helplessly. Dorcas, Barty, and Pandora cackled out desperately. Vivien looked at them angrily because she got the hint that they were laughing at her!
Regulus placed down his knife and fork to reach Vivienโs cheek and caress it with his finger. She stared at him. However, he was smiling, brushing the strands of her hair behind her ear. He leaned towards her, whispering slowly into it with that tempting tone,
"He doesn't have to go anywhere, Vi. Evan just wants you to fuck me in those few hours. They all want you to fuck me."
He parted away, and his eyes met hers. There were only a few inches left between their faces. Vivien softened, feeling a throbbing but not one of a heart'. She turned away, looking at Evan.
"Really?" She smiled.
Rosier wasn't certain what exactly Regulus murmured to Vivien, but he nodded his head in agreement.
"Be gone now." He told herโher and Regulus' plates were mostly empty anyway.
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ย ย ย ย ย Once the door of the dormitory closed, Vi and Regulus immediately tangled together. Regulus' hands were all over Vivien and his lips played on the skin of her jaw and neck. She walked him to the bed until Regulus' calves hit the bed. She pushed him down. He sat down like a good boy, smiling and looking up at her. With her heart thudding, she sat down in her favourite seatโon top of him, his hands supporting her by her arse. They faced each other, grinning foolishly like the two teenagers that they were.
"So,"
"So,"
They both didn't know how to play it out with class or elegance. Preferably, they would tear each other's clothes apart. But Vivien wanted to make it different for Regulusโspecial for him. She wanted that day to try something newโbe more sensual for him since it was his day, even if Vivien was on the edge of feeling Regulus. She leaned closer to Regulus and kissed him gently for a hot minute barely making it out of fire.
"I will tell you how it will go. You will take your little bum to the shower and wash yourself quickly like a good boy you are, then you will come to bed, and I'm going to do things to you that will leave you speechless, my doll." Regulus was already speechless!, hearing the alluring tone, which wouldn't take a no as an answer. He felt thrilled, for a solid second not capable of forming a sentence.
"Vi, I have no bum."
"No, no." She disagreed playfully. "I saw that little meat you have there." She moved to the side, tipping her head in the bathroom direction. "Now take that little bump to the shower. The clock is ticking, and your time is running."
She checked the watch on her wrist for time, and Regulus chuckled. Vivien wasn't wearing a watch.
"You're slacking, Regulus." She hurried.
He took a moment to give her his watch that he left under the pillows of his bed. She accepted the thing with a smile on her mouth. When Regulus was getting up, he felt a hand smack his arse delicately, Vi provoking him.
"Now I take a bath in consideration. Like a really long one, Vi. Just me, water, and silence." He commented, dragging his feet slowly towards the bathroom.
Vi tilted her head watching his little bum.
"Oh? Is that so? Or are you just bratting now?"
"Will you spank me again, if I say I am?" Black glanced over his shoulder to see her already watching his arse.
He never thought he would like such obscene behaviour but there he was.
"If you're not here back in four minutes, I won't be here anytime soon either." She said seriously.
Regulus didn't waste more time. He came out of the bathroom in a matter of minutes, Vi's eyes travelling up and down his body. He wasn't wearing anything but a towel around his hips. She bit her lips, studying everything that was covered and everything that wasn't.
"Don't get your hopes high, Vi. I just didn't have time to take any clothesโyou didn't get my trousers down that easily." Black remarked, standing over the dresser, looking between his boxers.
Vivien was lying in the pillows, her arms tucked under her head, her eyes observing his backs.
"Please, you're not even wearing any trousers to begin with."
He chuckled at her arrogance.
Regulus noticed that the atmosphere in the room was set. Curtains were closed so the Merpeople could not lurk in. The candles were lit and floated around the bed.
And Black could bet on his life that the door was closed so tightly that not a single moan would escape through it. He sniffed deeply and smelled lavender.
Vivien smirked. Regulus acted all unbothered and she knew he wasn't. On all her fours, she crawled towards him.
"And I wouldn't mind if it actually stayed that way, Regulus. You and your little towel can join me."
Regulus felt shivers go from his neck down his back. He faced her. She was on her knees, looking up at him with her big eyes, holding out her hand for him. Regulus had no clue what he did to deserve all of that but he wouldn't ruin the intense mood Vi created. He was as up to no good as she was.
Vivien smiled at Regulus throwing the boxers back into the drawer. He directed his steps to her. Instead of his hand, he rested his cheek in her hand and she stroked his cheek until her hand went lower. Vi brought Regulus into a passionate kiss by his slim neck, their lips flowing together.
"I hope you are aware that the match was only a warm-up for you, doll." She whispered, their faces close to each other, feeling breath one of another.
"I wasn't trying to catch that snitch for nothing."
"You didn't almost die for nothing."
"Exactly. I didn't win for nothing."
"I guess you deserved a little something." Vivien patted the mattress. "Lie face-down." Her voice gentle.
Regulus looked at her and she patted the mattress as an invitation again. He did as she suggested, trying his best to keep the towel on. Vivien rolled her eyes while he was lying down. Please! He's trying to act hard to get?, she knew that towel would be gone once he turned on his back. Vivien moved to the nightstand, where she had a bottle of special lavender oil prepared. She did her best to sneak it into Regulus' dormitory the previous afternoon and keep it secret under his bed with the lavender candles. And there was a time for her surprise.
Did Vivien know anything about massaging? No.
Would she act like an expert?
Regulus turned on his cheek, looking at Vi and her bottle, intrigued. "A massage?"
"The one you will never forget, darling."
Yes! She would absolutely act like an expert.
Regulus melted even before Vivien touched him after he called him that with her cute little French accent. Vivien shamelessly sat over himโshe made sure it was safely at the base of his spine so she wouldn't break his back [yet].
During the massage, her hands were gentle and brutal at the same time. Her skin was smooth, but her movements were strong. She spread the oil on Regulus' back with gliding movements to his neck and shoulders, putting slight pressure. Vivien felt Regulus' shoulders were stiff and she focused on their soreness. She began by digging her thumbs into them, discovering where his muscles were the hardest. As his muscles loosened under her firm touch, her hands slid up to his neck. She was touching it until she found the sore spot, his pleasured hum instructing her. She used long and slow strokes, circling her fingers in motion. Regulus' breath became hollow.
He grunted quietly and it caught Vivien's ear. She lowered herself to his ear.
"Are you alright?" She whispered, cautious.
Oh, Regulus was very much alright.
"What?" He murmured after Vi tickled the edge of his ear with her breath.
"Are you hurt?"
Regulus smiled with his mind foggy.
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I am."
Vivien smiled.
Regulus felt her full lips on his shoulder before she straightened. She was encouraged, knowing she didn't hurt him. She changed her motion into a kneading one, circulating her thumbs through his shoulders and the base of his neck. Her fingers moved down the line of his spine and he whimpered. It was quick and soon he suppressed it, but it caught her ears. They perked up in the direction of the sound, alerted.
Vivien was on the hunt after all and Regulus was only her prey. She pushed the palms of her hands into the base of his back. Regulus appreciated how she changed the technique of her massageโher mouth strolled along his spine like it was their path, and he felt the goosebump bathe his skin. She kissed his shoulder and side of the neck.
Regulus turned onto his cheek, and Vi gave him the final kiss on the corner of his lips, slipping to the side.
"I'm sorry, I know I can be rough." She apologised in advanceโfor misplacing his bones.
"It was nice." Regulus assured, rested.
As if to prove the sincerity of his words, he turned on his back and his towel came completely undone. Black knew Vivien would notice the growing erection he had after several minutes of pretty promising massage but that was not what he meant to happenโhis cock springing out like that.
Vivien rolled her lips into her mouth, staring at him being out. And he stared at her like it was her magic undressing him. She looked at him resting on his elbows.
"What? I didn't do that." She pointed her finger at his crotch, meaning the towel.
Regulus squinted his eyes.
"Yes, you did." He contradicted, meaning the other thing.
Vivien blushed, feeling the butterflies going mad in her insides. She had felt throbbing, pressed on his little bum before. Now she had to clunch her thighs together, sitting on her heels.
"Shush." She hissed. "You and-" She hesitated. "-and the other you are ruining my moment, Reguluses!"
She yanked the towel from under him with all the strength she had and he fell flat on his back. He put his hands up as a sign of innocence.
"I'm sorry. Don't mind us, do what you need."
It slipped off Regulus' tongue before he could think and he cringed.
Vi kissed him softly to release the embarrassment from his mind, joyful they agreed it was her time to shine. She continued to kiss Regulus slowly, her lips voyaging, leaving slick marks on his skin. They drifted along his jaw, his neck, and his collarbone. Vivien sucked on Regulus' pale skin and kissed him down his chest. She tickled his nipple with her soft lips and kissed him on his thin chest. But it was different than usual. Regulus felt like time had slowed, Vi acting patiently.
Regulus figured out he liked being taken care of, the prettiest girl in the world kissing his ribs one-by-one like it was nothing. Regulus rarely lacked confidence, but he felt special because Vi was so passionate about him. He felt good about it. He felt enough with his body being as it was whenever Vi's warm lips or sticky fingers were somewhere on it. He felt attractive. She showed him how much she desired him.
It took him by surprise because Vivien kissed him even lower. The air disappeared from his lungs as the wet trail went down until the line of his pubic hair. They glanced at each other.
Vivien observed Regulus' Adam's apple bob. He raised his head and she sat up, her hand nearly touching him down there. His eyes fell out of their orbits, when her sticky finger glued to his groyne so close but so far. She drew on her skin frivolously, tickling him. He felt himself twitch.
Did he do something to make her feel obligated?! He didnโt want to hurt her, saying things that would make her uncomfortable.
"Vi, I don't wantโyou don't wantโI don't need it."
Vivien tilted her head at Regulus stressing over nothing.
She smiled cutely.
"I don't want to do that ever again in my lifeโtrue. But I want to feel you in my hands, Regulus. I want to do this, if you would like to try that too." She offered him a handjob so casually.
Regulus felt weightless. Everything was fine. He gazed at Vi, eyes round, head nodding.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Yes." He answered. "But you'll use the safe word rule if you don't like it, Vi. I'm serious."
"No. Your brother is. You are Regulus, Regulus." She joked.
Younger Black stared at her sharply, and her giggle died out into silence. She observed his steady grey irises.
"I will use it."
They were focused on each other until Regulus rested, laying down with his head in the pillow. Vi took it as a sign. She faced his cock, her hands still slippery after she had accidentally poured a little too much oilโfor a good start of a sexy time.
Honestly, Vivien was intrigued. Regulus was hardened. Exploratory, she stroked her fingertip along the length of his cock from the base to the head. He twitched. Her finger stroked the rough mark he had from the circumcision and he twitched again.
Vivien did the same around his head and he twitched once again. He was twitchy and sensitive to the touch. Regulus observed how Vi narrowed her eyebrows. At that moment, he knew. She had never played with a cock like that ever before, tickling him out of curiosity. Vivien couldn't hide her fascination with how sensitive he was.
Regulus wanted to snort. He didn't dare to because he didn't want her to think he was laughing at her.
Vi tilted her head before she put her whole hand around Regulus. Her fingers caressed him delicately. He twitched at the coldness of her rings until her warm skin embraced him. Vivien softly tightened her hold and moved her hand towards his tip and then towards his balls.
Regulus hitched a breath. She kept massaging him up and down steadily, observing his reactions. He was quiet but in a good way she thought.
"Can I-" They glanced at each other, his eyes misty. "Can I go faster?"
He smiled, feeling heavenly, his eyes fluttering to close.
He nodded his head. "You can, Vi."
And Vivien began to steadily fasten her movements. She added a little more strength to her hold and peeped at Regulus to see if he didn't die in pain because she crushed him in her hand. He didn't, and she felt fully confident about the act. She could trust her intuition. Regulus seemed to enjoy it after, letting his head sink into the pillow like it was heavy.
Vivien smiled, massaging him up and down. She found boys' crotches ugly, but Regulus' wasn't, and it could feel so wonderful if used correctly.
She remembered the time Mary and Alice talked about boys liking their balls touched. Does Regulus?, Vi wouldn't know until she checked it herself. Mary and Alice weren't specific about what exactly boys liked but Vivien tried to be sensible, and she simply cupped his balls with her free hand.
Regulus moaned and Vivien saw how he sucked his belly in for a moment out of surprise. It was new for them both. Regulus looked at Vivien through his dark long eyelashes. She appeared so innocent doing such a thing. She was sitting on her heels with her eyes fully open and focused on him. The side of her face was so angelic. Merlin didn't have much mercy for Regulus, did he? He could only see her beauty thanks to the strands of her hair that were brushed behind her ear.
"You're long, Regulus." Vivien confessed. That was it! Regulus had achieved enough in life. He could die! "You're really long. You might be the longest one I had." She looked into his misty eyes.
Regulus' chestโand not only chestโtightened.
Vivien never thought that size mattered, but it added to her pleasure if it was rather slim-mer and long-er. And complementing Regulus on that obviously added to his pleasure. He whimpered to Mother Nature for mercy. His breaths were heavier. She didn't stop until Regulus twitched, fulfilled. Vivien liked that he pre-cummed. It always felt like his body appreciated her efforts.
Vivien laid down on her side beside him, watching attentively how he swallowed thickly. She heard how his breaths got quieter. He opened his eyes and turned his head towards her.
"You're pretty, Regulus." Vivien casually mumbled those words at him in the most random but the most naked time.
"And you really tried to lie to my face that you prefer me in clothes." He smiled playfully.
"I prefer you." Vivien cut his sentence short.
Regulus looked into her wild eyes but they seemed at peace for onceโgrounded. What she said could mean anything but Regulus was aware of what it didn't. He hated how she could say something so pure, meaning it in the most objectifying way. He wanted that thought to go away, his lips meeting hers. She kissed him back but broke apart soon.
Vivien took Regulus' chin into her hand. With her thumb, she stroked the pink sweets that his lips were.
"Was I nice, Regulus?"
"Very."
It was Vivien's turn to kiss Regulus. She didn't break apart from the kiss like he had. His lips moved in sync with hers and it became intense after he opened them as an invitation for her tongue. A fight between them began. They fought for dominance.
It started with Vivien leaning over Regulus but it finished with Regulus all over Vi. She was pinned to the mattress.
During their kiss, he just took hold of her waist and suddenly she was the one on her back against the mattress like she weighed nothing for him.
Regulus was smirking smugly against her lips, her nails hammered in his jaw. It was a warning for him that there was no way out of that kiss. Regulus didn't mind. He opened Vi's legs and took his rightful place between them. From time to time his cock met Vi's panties after her miniskirt got furled to her hips. He grasped her waist and his tip hit her entrance through layers of materials.
Vi arched her back, when Regulus rubbed her through the pathetic material of her stocking and undergarment. She locked her hand around his arm and threw her head into the pillows. She was unimaginably desperate for Regulus down there, and they both knew that. Her hips squirmed under his pressure. They were looking at each other longingly, and Vivien was enduring until she couldn't anymore.
"Regulus, if you won't find your way into my cunt right now, I swear the only cum I will let out ever again is the fire one when I combust in flames!" She cried out, and Regulus saw her eyebrows lowered in cruel pleasure because he teased her ruthlessly.
If that's what he needed to take action, she could give him that walk-over win that one time.
The situation was catastrophic! If Vi used a word such as 'cunt', her world surely was coming to an end!ย Regulus stopped testing his grounds since they were going through an earthquake. He began undoing the buttons of Vivien's small skirt.
"Vi?" A thought flicked in his mind, absorbing himโhe had been wondering about it for last week.
"Hmmm?" She hummed, lifting her ass for him to take her miniskirt off.
"How did you touch yourself?"
"What?"
"When you were masturbating, how exactly did you touch yourself?"
Vivien felt her ears heat up on hellish fire. She looked towards naked Regulus at her feet.
"You know."
"I really don't." Regulus never heard before about anyone dis-satisfying themselves.
"I... putmyfingersinsideandtriedtoimagineitwasyou." She said on one breath.
Tell him something he didn't know! Regulus leaned to her waist and hooked his fingers at the band of her stocking.
"But how did you touch yourself? Before? During? Where did you touch? How did you touch?"
Vivien felt thrills and fears getting stirred up in her stomach. Was Regulus really asking her those questions? Is he referring to what I think he is? She swallowed as he was taking off her stockings.
"I put my two fingers in." Black glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, sceptical.
But he didn't say anything until her legs were bare and parted. He was towering over Vi again and he did something new. He sneaked his hand onto her panties. Vi sucked her belly in. She felt one of his slim fingers sink between her folds through the fabric. He felt her muscles tense under his touch.
"You didn't touch your clit?"
Vivien wasn't close to reaching her orgasm but she already felt like the blood in her veins was boiling. She couldn't speak up so she shook her head.
Regulus gazed between her legs, his finger tracing down the wet material of her panties.
"Fuck, Vi. Are you really that wet already?" She wasn't even touched properly yet!
Vivien nodded her head.
"I really neglected you, didn't I, my poor little thing?"
"You forgot about me." She murmured, crossing her arms over her chest. He leaned towards her but she turned her face away. He gave her a kiss on her temple.
"This wasn't right, my Majesty. I beg, let me make it up to you now, and then you'll decide about the fate of mere me later." Regulus whispered and Vi tried her best to mask her grin but he saw it anyway.
He spoke the words she liked to hear. His fingers tugged at the hem of his Slytherin jumper before she willingly let him take it off of her. She lay there, only in her panties and camisole. Regulus adored her breasts. He was glad she rarely ever hid them in those odd brassieres that a lot of girls wore those days.
Vivien's aroused nipples pierced through the white cotton top. She felt exposed, even if she was the most dressed person in the room. Regulus was always so comfortable when bare but at the same time it made sense to her. He's beautiful, he had nothing to be insecure about. And in that moment that beautiful boy admired Vi in a white camisole that was very see-through and her white panites with little daisies sewn on them.
He looked up to her eyes.
"Who goes, my Highness?" He asked and she blushed.
He was glazing all over her with his sweet words and tender hands. She felt like porcelain in his hands. Whether he intended it or not, that day she was his porcelain doll.
"Panties."
"Your wish is my command."
Regulus went down on Vivien, and she felt his fingers pull her undergarment down. When they were taken off, he threw them far away like he did with the rest of her clothes to join his towel. She quickly closed her thighs.
Regulus smirked.
"I see. We're a bit shy, aren't we?"
She nodded, causing him to chuckle. He laid with her and she tangled her fingers in his jet-black hair after his hot touch embraced her breast. He kissed her slowly and she moaned, feeling his fingers surround her aroused nippleโlike a planned attack. Feeling little and silly, she wouldn't win any battles that day.
"I can deal with that." He remarked between the kisses that began travelling down from her mouth.
He kissed Vi's jaw gently, then sucked on her neck. She tilted her head to the back, giving him all the access to it.
Vivien fidgeted with her hips and thighs to feel some friction out of desperation. Regulus was leaving marks on her skin wandering towards her collarbone. How he fondled her tit was causing goosebumps to her. She was needy and wanted everything at once.
Regulus pinched the skin on her collarbone with his teeth. She whimpered, pushing her ass into the mattress. He didn't stop and went down her chest. He caught the edge of her camisole in his teeth and stretched it under her breast.
"All so pretty." Regulus blew onto her nipple, and Vivien met his gaze, feeling his hand hover over her pubis.
"Vi, I need you to open those two beauties for me." His tone pleading as she felt his fingers play with her pubic hair, while her heart exploded like with Bombarda.
Regulus called her legs beauties, placing his hands so low on her body. Because of him, Vivien couldn't even form her words in her mind. He was giving her a chance, waiting for an objection. She didn't object but she was fearful to expose her whole vagina to the whole roomโeven if it was empty!
"It will be easier for both of us if you don't clutch your thighs together, Vi. I might remind you that not only the other clowns didn't touch you there, but the arseclown that I am, has never touched any girl there before."
Merlin, is it so obvious that no one has touched me there?, Vivien did as she was instructed.
Regulus, without another word, gave her nipple a kiss as a price for being a brave girl and opening her legs. She felt his middle finger slide down her wet slit, exploringโnonothless it already felt pleasant.
Vivien couldn't even feel self-conscious when his fingertip sank between her.
Regulus felt how Vivien was already creaming on her own. And it was hotโhow luscious she was! He wanted so badly to admire her between those long legs but she was mistrustful at natureโhe didn't want to make her feel like she was being groped by some creep.
"Vi, tell me if I would be anything other than nice."
"Yh-ym." She hummed, not ready to face him, her eyes closed.
There were no words to describe what a pleasure it was when Regulus took care of Vi's tits and pussy. He located her clit without a problem and massaged around it. He teased her entrance. His movements were smooth after he soaked his fingers in her juice. He was applying the perfect pressure, at the same time embracing the tit that hadn't been attended earlier. He caressed it through the cotton, sucking and teasing her nipple with a tongue.
Vivien couldn't tell when she started moaning but she wasn't able to stop once she did. Regulus speeded up the movements on her after, adding his ring finger to the play. She was so sensitiveโunder his touch she couldn't control herself. Her hips squirmed. It felt like she was swelling on clit but it wasn't painful. It was pleasurable.
Regulus was using a charm of his that she had never experienced before. It could even be black magic that Regulus was using and Vi didn't care when he was using it so greatly. She felt heat pour down her veins.
"Shite..." She whimpered, her back arching and her arse pushing into the mattress before her muscles loosened again.
"I'm close." She breathed out quietlyโshallowlyโher lungs barely worked. Her chest was raising and falling, sometimes stuffing her breast into Regulus' face. She also kept flexing herself against his fingers, fidgeting and experiencing such a pleasure for the first time.
Regulus couldn't lieโhe was close himself when Vivien was so intense out of pleasure. He kissed all over her breasts softly, leaving wet marks on the material of her top and provoking her by blowing on her aroused nipples.
Vivien felt like what she was going through could be how Regulus felt when his cock twitched. She felt like her whole body twitched inside. Vivien felt her belly flicker magically. That was the feeling. Her insides were glimmering and twinkling. It was the best word to describe how it felt to be touched.
"Shite," She moaned and grabbed the blanket, clenching her fist on it. With the other hand, she squeezed Regulus' neck down to her, grinding her hips. She curled her feet, not knowing how to live through that pleasure. It was impossible.
"Regulus, I-I-" She choked out, her arse hammered into the bed for a perfect angle. Her eyes shut tight.
Regulus didn't know how he would ever go on with his life without spending every second, minute, and hour of his day thinking about this exact moment.
Vivien didn't say straight away that she was coming right then and there, but the message was loud and clear to Regulus. He didn't stop until she arched her back forcefully to its maximum.
He felt how weak she turned. Her legs were trembling even after her body loosened from the arch. Her face was reddened, and she looked so heavenly, even after the mascara smudged.
Regulus gave Vi her space to interpret the things she felt. He laid down, studying her.
FUCK!, was all Vivien understood from the things she felt. She opened her eyes, immediately focusing them on Regulus, whoโas if nothing had happenedโlay on his belly with his hands folded under his chin, observing her with his sinless eyes.
"How are we?" He whispered. "Alright?"
"I don't think I will ever again be alright when you are not doing that." Vivien confessed with her rosy cheeks.
Regulus smiled, giving her a view of his dimples.
"I'm sorry, Regulus." She apologised after gulping thickly.
"What for?" His brows knotted.
"For pushing myself into you." She said, guilty.
He chuckled in disbelief.
"I can only imagine the thing your body felt and how hard it was to control it, Vi."
"It doesn't mean I can behave like a brute and hurt you."
"You didn't."
"I grabbed your neck. Does it hurt?" She was so ready to sit up with her weak legs to take a look at his neck.
Without an effort, he had her laid back.
"Rest, please." He begged, but his voice was serious as he towered over her.
Regulus and his thin beautiful posture were strong. Without even touching Vi, he overpowered her. But it felt safe. He never used his strength against her. He only used it for her. Vivien smiled as he became her whole view. She locked her hands around his wrists on both sides of her head.
"Give me a kiss, pretty boy."
Regulus softened with a snort. The seriousness was gone, and he smiled despite how much he tried to stay cool. She was too warm for it.
Vivien grinned widely. Regulus rolled his eyes but he went in for that pleasure. His lips swam slowly with hers, and she placed her hands on the back of his neck. He felt she tried to investigate for evidence of his discomfort from the bruising she might had left on his skin.
"I'm leaving." Regulus mumbled against Vi's lips, pulling away.
She whined but he still slid to the side. When Regulus tried to yank the blanket Vivien lay on top of, she furrowed her eyebrows.
"What are you doing?"
"Pulling the blanket from under my Highness' beautiful piece of bum."
"What for?" She narrowed her eyebrows even more.
His thick brows arose. "To cover us?"
"What for?" She repeated, sitting up slowly.
"To keep us warm? Vivien, shouldn't you know how blankets function at this point of life?"
"Very funny, Black. I know how blankets function. I just don't know why you would use it to keep us warm right now when there are other ways to do that."
"Like what? Have you knotted around me like a human blanket to kill me with a heat stroke?"
It was hard to tell who was more confused with whom.
"Or maybe have you taken me like we deserve after two months of waiting for this moment?" Vi argued.
Black let go of the blanket he kept on yanking, and gazed at her.
"What?"
"You thought we were done? Wait-do you want us to be done already?" Vivien tilted her head.
"You don't want us to be done yet?" He also tilted his head.
"I don't." She said, quite lost. "You still didn't use your cock on me."
"Vi, you don't have to want my cock, if you aren't feeling well just because it is up. Sex isnโt only about penetration."
Oh. His cock up only added to her craving. She didn't crave him because of it. She built it hard because she craved it!
"But I'm not not-feeling well nor have I said I am."
"Your legs are shaky and I think you moaned out all of your energy." Regulus hinted at the obvious signs of her exhaustion in his stupid boyish opinion that Vivien didn't ask for.
"Then I want my legs to stop working completely and scream your name until the soul is out of my body." She gazed at him like an angel, as if she didn't just say the most cock-hardening thing any teenage boy could ever hear. "I mean I want that but I thought we were on the same page. We don't have to-"
"Vi, are you sure that's actually what you want?"
"I'm still very lonely and abandoned down there, you know." She smiled innocently, placing her hand on his chest where she drew with her nail, giving him time to decide.
The two were aware that this nail on his chest was a trap, and Regulus was only a mere prey in Vi's hunt.
"Fox." He accused, being bewitched by her spell anyway.
He moved closer to Vivien, and she bit her bottom lip.
He placed his hand on her hip. "Can I?"
Vivien never really experimented with sex for her own pleasureโshe only did what she was taught. But with Regulus it was safe to try new things. He was different from the other boys. He was kind. She nodded her head. Again Regulus' quidditch player stamina won over Vivien's non-existing physical condition. He softly tilted her on her right side, and he laid on his side behind her.
"Would that be fine with you, Vi?"
"Very."
"Good." He kissed her on the shoulder. "Legs up."
Vivien folded her legs, sticking out her bum towards Black. She gazed at him over her shoulder innocently. He was gazing back at her, slowly slipping his tip against her. Spasm went through her body. Whatever was happening between their bodies didn't change how their eyes stayed on each other. Regulus was so close to Vivien. She inhaled an unstable breath when he stroked her clit.
"It's too touchy now."
"Sorry."
She felt him snuck his hand under her camisole on her belly to reach for her breast. She laid her hand on his and he kissed her lovingly.
Regulus could swear on anything even before Vi told him that he was bigger than Nolanโthat in fact he was bigger than Nolan. And it was fucking Nolan that bursted his naรฏve bubble. Regulus realised Vi was fragile. She masked her pain, instead of telling him something wasn't pleasant for her. He tried to be the gentlest he could entering her. He tried to keep her attentive on the kiss but he felt how she squirmed on him. She whimpered against his lips.
Vivien would penetrate herself on boys but she didn't let any boy penetrate her. Being penetrated felt bad and she wasn't ready to give anyone that control over her. With Regulus, it was still hurtful but not as painful. Regulus wasn't forceful. He was caring.
"Does it hurt?" His brows softened.
Vivien brushed one of them with her fingers, smiling.
"Just a little."
Regulus didn't put it all in on the first try. He began moving his hips in motion back and forth. With every forth, he would slip a little more. Vivien felt how slowly he stretched her out until he finally was all inside of her. She moved too, circling her hips to adapt to all of him better.
"Fuck." Regulus murmured against her cheek.
"What?" Vivien smiled silly with her brain clouded.
"I forgot how much of a bad girl you are, Vi. You look so pretty and you take me in so nicely."
Vivien flushed, his words causing a wave of excitement to go through her chest at how he was playing with her breast.
"Please, don't, Regulus." She warned softly. "It's not funny."
"It's great we're on the same page then, because I'm not here for jokes either." He claimed, her moving on him. "Fuck." He breathed out. "It's like our bodies were created for each other. Mine to fit yours, and yours to fit mine, Vi."
Vivien felt the flutter of butterflies' wings between her legs go insane as much as in her belly with Regulus' words sugaring the act.
"You have too easy of a way around with your words, doll." She turned her face away before she would burn from the temperature between her and Black. He brushed his nose against Vivien's rosy cheek, before kissing it delicately.
"Don't hide from me, Vi. You have not a single thing to be ashamed of."
Vi glanced at him again. His dilated pupils contemplated her pinkish little face until they stopped at her lips.
Is it? Is this how I am going to die? Having a heart attack during a love-making act with Regulus Arcturus fucking Black? Because that's what it had to be? How her heart thudded had to be a heart attack!
Regulus was giving Vivien a cardiac arrest by kissing her so affectionately. He was adding to the speed of his hips motion, and his other hand found its way on her belly. He hit her euphoric spot perfectly, and suddenly his hand was touching around.
Vivien broke apart from the kiss, stupefied at what he was doing despite the great satisfaction that had overcome her body. Being stimulated was good but touching her abdomen was weird. He wasn't touching it brutally but it was strange. Is he trying to feel his tip through me?
"What are you doing?" Vivien gripped his arse, cautious ready to stop him if he was trying to stab her with his cock from the inside.
Regulus' brows arose as Vi was staring at him suspiciously. Seriously? What the hell she thought he was trying to do?
"Obviously trying to stab you and watch you bleed out and literally have you die on me, Vi." He said sarcastically.
She elbowed him on the ribs for the tone he used.
"I thought you were trying to rip the hole from the inside out."
"You already have that." Regulus got elbowed again for his smartassing. "Why would I try to kill you with my penis and lose the tiniest chance to have you like this ever again or to have sex at all?"
Even though they kept bantering like an old, married coupleโBlack didn't fuck like an old man.
"What was that supposed to mean?!" Vivien scoffed but her hips told Regulus another story. She pressed her arse into him after he hit her spot again, leaking on him again.
ARSECLOWN!, but a sexy one... How could he go on when Vivien was melting on him?! He was so cold but so hot! She whimpered. Fucking Black!
"That you kept your word and destroyed me for any other girl." Regulus appreciated his future lovely bride dearly.
"You were broken to begin with." Vivien mocked, starting to squirm with her body.
"Thanks."
"It's your pleasure. Now at least I made use of your dick."
A smirk crept on Regulus' face. "That's why your legs are shaking?"
"Shut up and kiss me." Vivien rolled her eyes.
"In one moment, Vi. Can you touch where I'm hitting when it feels nice?"
"What for?" She groaned.
"You will understand when I show you, but you have to trust me. Will you trust me?"
Vivien melted against Regulus. She put her hand to his cheek, grazing it gently.
"I trust you, Regulus. It's just that you are too kind and precious to be simply real."
She smiled, linking their lips together. Regulus' heart skipped, and he felt fully up to the challenge of giving Vivien all the pleasure. He was about to separate when he felt her hand lay on top of his. They tracked the place he asked Vi to help him locate. Regulus firmly put some pressure on her tummy, and the next time his tip touched her euphoric spot, Vivien understood.
He was right., stimulating her so much. She was a moaning mess again, tightening on him immediately.
"Fuck," Regulus whispered, loving when she did that.
Vivien smashed her head into the pillow, her legs somewhat tangling with Regulus' in his sheets.
"I promise I will be a good girl. Please, just keep going, Regulus." She cried out in desperation and her hand fell over her forehead.
He gazed at her. She had her eyes closed, breathing through her slightly opened mouth that was forming in a letter o. She was so reddish and hot.
Regulus tried to keep his cool but seeing, hearing, and feeling her was too much, and he felt like he was burning. She was so hot in every aspect and he was making her even hotter. He felt tense, thrusting into her and praying silently for his life.
Ignoring how shaky she was, Vivien, with the rest of her willpower, reached for Regulus' chin. She linked her lips with his clumsily.
"Shite..." She mumbled against his mouth, feeling like she had a cauldron boiling inside of her that could explode and wipe out everything at any moment.
Regulus behaved as if he didn't care about the consequences of the explosion.
She was moaning for her life. Still, she didn't wish for anyone to save her. Regulus began muffling his own moans against her shoulder. She moved it away.
"Don't do that. I want to hear you."
Vivien never thought that losing a mind could be so fulfillingโbut with Regulus' pristine cheeks pink now, his breathing loudโshe didn't want to look for the half-sane girl she was during lunch. And it happened.
His moans treated her ears better than any nature sounds could. Vivien's cunt clenched on Regulus' cock, and her back arched. She was too weak to fight her urges.
"Please! Regulus, just fuck me." She cried out, every cell in her body felt ecstatic. She squeezed his little bum as her legs and arse shook.
Say less! Regulus was torturing himself as long as he could, but he cummed a few moments later after Vivien's plea. Her muscles were loosening and she felt Regulus filling her for it all to spill in the matter of seconds.
Oh, poor boy! He needed that as much as I did.
"I think my soul left my body." Were Regulus' first words after he dropped on his back, Vivien after him.
The young couple needed a little more than a minute to understand the last hour of their lives like it was the most complicated Numerology homework.
Regulus saw Vivien's breasts slow down, and Vivien felt Regulus' chest calm down. Despite the temperature between them, none drifted away until it became tolerably warm.
Vivien silently got up from Regulus' side and scrambled away. He peeped at her, thinking she was about to go to the toilet. She didn't. Her back only faced him after she laid down on the side of the bed.
Regulus scratched his quirked eyebrow.
"Vi?"
"Yes?" She murmured.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"No, no. You definitely did something." He saw how Vi curled in a ball, hugging herself.
"I just moved to my side."
'Her side?', Vi had Regulus worried.
"I thought the bed was oursโI didn't know we had sides."
Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
"Why did you move to your side then, Vi?"
"To give you your space." She mumbled out, and Regulus heard her tired voice from how she overused her throat.
"Why do you want to give me some space?"
"I don't want you to get angry because-" Vivien sniffed and she felt her throat closeโhurt.
At her cracking, Regulus' heart ached.
"Because of what?" Did he do something to upset her? Did he say something during the act to trigger her to feel like that?
"Because I want to cuddle and you don't want to cuddle."
Vivien didn't know why tears gathered in her eyes. She dug her nails into her arm. She didn't know what happened. She was so happy minutes before, and then suddenly everything was sad again. She only wanted to touch Regulus but he kept not touching her and she was afraid he would scratch her eyes out like an old cat if she touched him since he didn't want to cuddle out of the post-sex hormones.
Regulus moved a little towards her back. He felt like shouting. He was fucking angry! How could anyone see Vi's pretty pink face, feel her soft warm skin, have her arms wrapped around affectionately, and feel the need to make her feel stupid for wanting a hug? That was evil.
"But I want to cuddle, Vi. Do you think I can join you on your side and cuddle with you?"
Vi nodded her head, sobbing quietly.
Regulus carefully moved to her, hugging her from behind. His hand locked on her, and he brought the ball she was in his chest. He kissed her on the shoulder and her neck as she cried.
"Vi, I never want you to not cuddle with me."
Chapter 25: half-sane, half-insane
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien peeled open her sleepy eyes. She was under the blanket, resting her head on Regulus' bony shoulder. He was observing her with his steady eyes, and she felt how his hand grazed her cheek.
"Hi," Vivien smiled innocently, embarrassed.
She remembered how she had fallen asleep after crying her eyes out because she was scared to cuddle with Regulus. She felt ashamed and stupid for such an overreaction over nothing rational.
"Hi," Regulus kissed her on the forehead. "How are we feeling?"
"Better." She curled her toes, digging her foot into the mattress.
Regulus nodded his head.
"I'm glad."
"I'm sorry."
They both speak up at the same time.
Regulus smiled sadly, "You have nothing to be sorry about."
She felt his slim fingers stroke her jawline.
"No, I have. It was your afternoon, and I made it about me."
"You didn't do anything about you. It is our afternoon and you made it about us."ย
Vivien placed her hand on Regulus' chest and turned from onto her belly. His arms embraced her, and she felt them sneak under her top on her bare back.
"No, I made it about me. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be sad."
"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the luckiest boy in the world."
Vi smiled, her features softening. She laid her chin on top of her hand, gazing at him.
"I just-" He hesitated as she watched him attentively. "I just wish you would talk to me about all the things, even the uncomfortable ones. I'm here for you and I wouldn't judge you, Vivien. That's not what friends do."
"Or lovers."
It slipped down so smoothly on Vivienโs tongueโbefore she could think that through.
LOVERS?!, it was hard to keep the poker face for either.
Vivien looked away from Regulus. She cleared her throat, pretending she didn't say at all what she had said.
"Most of the time I think of you as Regulus, who happens to be a boyโbut sometimes it's stronger than me to think of you as a boy, who happens to be Regulus."
Regulus nodded his head, smiling faintly, understanding what she meant.
"Vi, when you feel that way, do I give you reasons for it?" He asked sincerely.
She shook her head.
"It's not you, Regulus. It's old habits and bad memories." She inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. "It's just different with you than it was with other boys."
She examined Regulus for any evidence of disgust at the mention of the other boys.
"You can tell me, Vi." He encouraged her.
She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment before she let her face rest, letting a sigh out,
"With James, it was just one time. It was in December, when I was fighting with Nolan. I just wanted to check if it was all the same with every boy and if I was the problem in sex. I initiated it. We never really even finished what we started with him because your brother, Remus, Peter, and Mary opened the door, when I was on James. The sex was not memorableโI mean he was too sugary and it got repetitive. He was nervous. Shite got messed up between us after anyway. With Edgar, it began after Valentine's Day. It just happenedโhe was fun, new, and different, you know? With him, sex was always about satisfying needs and hormones. Always quickies, and never in bed. Bathrooms and empty classrooms mostly. Between classes or during his patrols. I had a lot of chafes on the back from all the bricks. But he always tried to make sure I finishedโfor the most part, I did."
Regulus was stroking Vi's backs, listening and observing her slowly telling him until-
"But even Bones didn't try to please you?" He cut in.
"Through a handjob?"
Vivien gazed at him and Regulus nodded.
"He offered me even more once. He said his ex-girlfriend liked being licked down there but I got scared after he took off my panties, kneeled down between my legs, and hung one of them over his shoulder like a school bag." Vivien snorted, remembering the scene. "I think he took me for braver than I am."
"No, no. You're a brave girl. He just didn't have the right approach." Regulus smiled happily.
"Yeah, Edgar lacks that sometimes." Vivien wanted to bite herself on the tongue as Regulus raised his brows.
For a moment she hesitated, trying to swallow her emotions down, her eyes turning glassy like cracked glass.
"It was at the end of April. The only time we did it in bed. Edgar was after his training and his dormitory was empty. I'm not sure why he invited me there because he was exhausted. Still, he acted very straightforward with his flirting."
Her tone quietened, her throat hurting.
"But it wasn't really as nice as his words promised. He wasn't nice. It was all empty. I rode himโhe finished quickly. Afterwards, he felt sleepy. I understood that. I didn't mean anything wrong. I just really thought it would make him feel better."
A stupid tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it off.
"I just hugged him and petted him like I do with you. But he suddenly-" It was all so stupid but what Edgar told Vivien in that moment made her self-aware. She shut her eyes, her heart aching.
"He-" Her lips quivered. "He scolded me, asking me if I have to be always so much?" She sobbed out. "He pushed me off and got out of the bed. Even before I left his dormitory, he began apologising to me, but it's stuck anyway."
Vivien knew exactly why she couldn't forget what Edgar said about her. He was the missing puzzleโthe one that made her realise she was never enough. Nolan convinced her that she was too little for him to be worth making any efforts, James blamed her for being too little for the efforts he made, and Edgar scolded her for making too much effort for nothing. Always too much or too little, never enough, she reminded herself.
Regulus' heart bled, seeing Vivien sob all over again. Edgar was an idiot who would not recognise a fork even if he was stabbed with it in the eye! He dug out his hands from her camisole, and rested his hands on her cheeks. He stroked her soft pinkish skin with his thumbs.
"It's alright, Vi. You can cry." He assured her. If she needed a break for that, he would give her one.
Vivien felt relieved with Regulus' touch on her skin. She opened her eyes, her eyelashes glued together. She sniffed through her pinkish nose that was running.
"You didn't deserve what Bones said."
The rational half of Vivien knew that! She knew that because it took no effort for Regulus to always be kind to her. Before, even during, but especially after the act. And it hurt even more because she didn't understand why other boys were so rude then. If they weren't, she wouldn't be like thatโcrying after Regulus did everything right.
"This is what I mean," She hiccuped. "It's not your responsibility to help someone you didn't hurt."
Regulus slowly sat up, pulling Vi with him. She clumsily followed, supporting herself on his chest. Her legs formed into a letter w as she sat on her bare bum. The blanket covering her fell back on the mattress, exposing the bare half of her body but none of them paid any attention to it.
Regulus' eyes never left hers.
"That's what lovers do, Vi. Take care of each other." He whispered before kissing her shortly. He kissed her on the nose and forehead.
Vivien gazed at Regulus, her eyes twitching.
"And I wouldn't prefer doing any other thing."
Vivien's hands travelled to his neck, locking around it. She completely fell on Regulus. He lay back on the bed, hugging her. It was obvious she needed that cuddle for comfort.
Vivien and Regulus' laid face to face and she dropped her leg across his body. He observed how her sadness was drying off from her skin, tears stopping to roll down her pink cheeks. He felt her hand wander on his skin. She drew her fingertips on his chest, looking at it and away from him. She swallowed.
"I want to tell you, Regulus. I do trust you." She whispered. "I just have no words for what you, Zahara, Dorcas, and Barty saw Nolan doing to me, and I have even fewer words for the things none saw him doing."
Regulus saw how numb she became with O'Sullivan on her mind.
"When you have those words readyโno matter whatโI will never judge you for what happened, Vi. I will believe you. The same way you didn't deserve Bones saying such a cruel thing, you didn't deserve those disgusting things Sullivan did. You know that, Vi, don't you?"
"Thanks to you, I do."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien couldn't point out what changed but she could tell she was not the same half-sane girl she was when she woke. But so was Regulusโhe wasn't the same sane boy that he was in the morning when she woke him. They laid naked in bed and it was nice, even though they were sweaty and maybe even smelly.
Vivien had to get used to the smell as her nose couldn't detect it. She had dry cum on her thighs after it spilled out, and so did Regulus on his belly after he precummed on there first. Regulus saw how the hickeys on Vivien's neck formed. He could tell his jaw was touchy after she had drilled her nails into it.
Someone would say it wasn't a good picture, but it was theirs, and it was all that mattered when Vi giggled.
"What?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
"You said I was nice,"
"Yes." He wasn't sure what part exactly Vi meant, because in all of them, she was nice.
"But was I nicer than Cowecto?"
He scoffed.
"Aren't you a little jealous creature?" He poked her with his fingers all over her ribs from both sides as she lay completely on top of him and they were studying the ceiling.
She slapped his hands off.
"It's not an answer. You have questionsโI do too."
Regulus sighed, "Not belittling Alecto and the time she took to perfect her talents, I personally think you were better. Still, it was two different things for obvious reasons since one was a head and the other was a very pleasant massage. I understand why some boys might like her ways, but I wasn't one of them. What she did was vulgar."
"Vulgar? Regulus, sex is vulgar; so am I." Vivien rolled away to the side on her belly to look at him. She began swinging her feet in the air.
"It was different." Regulus looked at her through his dark lashes.
"How?"
"It just felt different. I feel like the act lacked emotion and passion."
Vi's feet stopped in the air. She tilted her head.
"Maybe it lacked that because the only feelings between you two were one-sided?"
"Isn't it the same between us two?" Regulus asked back, his eyebrows raising.
OUCH! Vivien was insulted. Does he feel like this?
"Do you think you are the only one investing your feelings in this friendship between us?" Vivien kicked the mattress with her toes, waiting for an answer.
Regulus regretted asking that question. He was a bitter person at times, but he didn't feel any better rubbing salt in Vivien's wound.
"No. I'm sorry. It was unnecessary."
Vivien didn't want to fight with Regulus. They had the last four years for that. Still, she had to say something.
"I have feelings for you, Regulus!" She protested, insulted at his ignorance. "You used to annoy me and still doโbut I like you more than you think. I appreciate you as Regulus, and I admire you as a person. You make me horny and I desire you. I'm very much a Regulus Black enthusiast! You are the muse, and I'm an artist, doll. You were the first person to break my heart when I thought you used me for your fun!" She elaborated, her eyes narrowing angrily at him. "You are my friendโmy bestest friend and from the moment you said yes, I worry for the moment when you say not anymore. I care about you and I'm proud of you. I told youโjust because I don't tell you doesn't mean I don't show you! Yes, what you said was unnecessary."
Vi confessed that Regulus broke her heart. Not only thatโsorrowfully, he was the very first person to do that. He felt hollow.
Vi went through hell and back in the fifth year but from all of that, he was the one to disappoint her the mostโeven if it wasn't entirely his faultโbecause she didn't know it at the time. Regulus was a spoiled brat and always thought about what he didn't have but Vi opened his eyes to look at all he had. He had no right to be bitter because he was in love and she was not. After that, Regulus didn't whine anymore.
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ย ย ย The time was running faster than Vivien and Regulus liked. He helped her take off her camisole before they took a steamy shower together. Afterwards, Regulus helped Vi dry out her hair. And she dried his.
Regulus gave Vivien a pair of her fresh panties, miniskirt, and stockings. She didn't ask where he had it fromโshe kept leaving her things everywhere in his dormโand he kept collecting them like his souvenirs.
And she didn't ask if he happened to have a single one of her own shirts or jumpers after he handed her his polo neck and jumper. He didโshe simply saved them both some time from that banterโit was a mutual understanding that they both had about Regulus' clothesโthey looked better on Vi.
"I like how you think, Regulus." Vivien studied herself in the bathroom mirror. Regulusโ head poked out of his polo neck and he glanced at her.
He had given her a plaid skirt in the colour of dark green [obviously, Vi laughed internally], and to match it, he chose a brown jumper that would coordinate with her dark brown snickers that lay by the door of his dormitory. Her stockings and the polo neck were beige. She liked that mix. It was neutral but with colours.
Regulus was improvising with only what he had. They were colours of natureโhe knew Vi liked brown.
"I'm impressed."
Regulus smirked, pulling the jumper over his head at last. Done, he reached for Vi, hooking his arm around her waist to pull her to him. He was wearing a green jumper matching her skirt. Vi smiled, held in his arms.
He was sweet.
"How do we do your hair?" Regulus asked out of nowhere. "The usual?"
Vi nodded her head., laughing joyfully.
He was already walking over towards the cabinet, where on top were a brush and two beige ribbons he picked up from his bed.
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ย ย ย ย ย Could you be any more obvious?!, thought anyone who saw Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne and Regulus Arcturus Black walking together through the entrance of the Great Hall. It was understandable why Regulus was wearing different clothes from earlier, but the fresh skirt matching the colour of his jumper that Vi was wearing since there was no clear reason for her to change was a message. The tiny bruises on Regulus' jaw were a message. His jumper which Vi was dressed in so casually was a massage. His polo necks hiding their throats were a message. Their wet at the end hairs were a massage, and so was the disappearance of Vi's make-up.
It was like they didn't even try. The not-so-secret message between the lines was, Yeah, we fuck!, and what any of you virgins would know about that?
They seemed as flirty as never, all amorous with each other.
Regulus pulled Vi's pony tail, when she tried to walk away from him. As she turned around, suddenly he was walking away. She kicked him softly in his little bum and ran away before he could retaliate for getting smashed or for not getting smashed with a better spankโshe didn't know. She ran between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, happy. As she found Zahara, she was sitting with stupid Felicity Thimblewick and some other Hufflepuff girls.
"Sorry, I'm stealing this one." Vivien said, catching Zara's wrist and dragging her away from her housemates. She could tell the other girls were intrigued and would love to hear what she had to tell Zahara. She saw how they studied her appearance. Vivien and Zahara passed past Edgar and his friends. They howled.
Despite the smile that sneaked on Vi's mouth, she showed them a middle finger.
"I didn't notice you playing today, Fifi."
"Surely, it wasn't on the pitchโmaybe that's why you didn't see me."
Zahara's jaw nearly slammed on the ground, but the corners of her mouth quirked up. Bones laid his hand at his chest, pretending to be shocked and scandalised. Fucking Black kept winning that day!, Edgar was impressed.
Vivien and Zahara came over to Sybill and Emmeline. The two love birds kept pecking at their food.
Vivien and Zahara sat down. Instead of putting down something on a clean plate in front of herself, Vivien tapped her foot and put her hands together. She kept taking glances over her shoulder at the Slytherin table. Zahara took the random cup full of fresh black tea and drank some, peeping at Sybill and Emmeline. Sybill tried to stop from cracking by rolling her lips into her mouth. Emmeline savoured her baked pumpkin at peace.
"Ask me." Vivien commented, tapping her foot faster.
"Fine." Zahara said nonchalantly. "Was Regulus actually that good?"
Vivien stopped her foot. She looked at Zahara and Zahara could see how dilated Vivien's pupils were.
"He washed me, chose my clothes, and did my hair." Vivien glanced over her shoulder in Black's direction.
He sat with their friends and for a moment their eyes met. Vivien's cheeks flushed, and she turned straight towards her dormmates. Three teenage girls took a look at Vivien's hair, perfectly made in her style. And what Vivien could add to that was that Black made it with no issue! They watched her jump in her seat before she faced them.
"He was even better." Vivien admitted. She leaned on the table as she whispered to the girls, "After that, I don't think I want to have sex ever again."
Emmeline cackled the loudest, "He was so better than good that now you don't want to even try anymore?"
Three girls chortled like frogs. Vivien shook her head.
"No! I don't want to have sex anymore!"
"What does that even mean?" Sybill snorted.
Vivien gesticulated maniacally. Zahara savoured her tea, observing her insane best friend.
"You see, there is sex and I think what Regulus and I did is considered making love!" She whisper-shouted.
Zara choked on her drink. Bibie and Em paused, petrified. Vance's fork fell on the table.
Those were pretty big words for someone with a commitment issue and no romantic bone in their body!
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus walked towards his usual place at the Slytherin table. He felt looks following him walking arrogantly with his hands in the pockets of his trousers as if he hadn't just proved to everyone that he had dick that could drive crazy.
As he passed Evan to take a seat on his other side, he was already pulling him down by his sleeve.
"What the fuck, mate?!" Evan exclaimed to Regulus sitting on the bench.
Regulus looked between him, Barty, Pandora, and Dorcas sitting on the other side of the table. They all had their eyebrows pointed at him sharply.
"What?" He asked, putting some roasted chicken on his plate.
"You and foxy were supposed to fuck?"
Regulus smirked firmly.
"We did." He shrugged. It wasn't exactly what he and Vi experienced. It felt like they did more than something so ordinary and simple.
"Why the hell do you look reborn?" Barty stared at him up and down, impressed by Regulus Prudish Black.
"Did she run? Vivia doesn't just run! She only runs when she's going mad over something!" Pandora was still absorbed about Vivien happily running.
Regulus glanced over his shoulder at Vi, who was approaching her girl-friends, dragging her best friend in her hand like a toy because she was too frenzy in the moment to control herself.
"I guess she didn't run then. Maybe she went mad?" Regulus surely did. He was entirely bewitchedโunder Vivienโs spell, charmed with her, cursed and enchanted at the same time.
Regulus was happyโVi didn't even try to play off that she was about to tell her friends about the afternoon she shared with him. It felt good to see how he made her feel because he felt exactly as high out of his mind because of her.
Evan, Pandora, and Barty regretted it wasn't Vivien to join them, because she would tell them immediately what this thin modest teenage boy could do to have her running so amazed. Dorcas continued eating her dinner, smirking as much as Black was. Her and Regulus' eyes met.
"What did you do?" She asked, squinting her eyes playfully.
"What you told me." He answered with his irises flickering because he still had the unholy images on his mind. What no one could hear was that Regulus also had the music of Vi's moans playing inside his head. It felt like it would play forever and he couldn't care less.
"I told you a lot." She chuckled.
Regulus shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Gentlemen never kiss and tell."
The truth was Regulus had access to too many books for his age that let him understand a girl's body, but it was Dorcas who told him how to pleasure an actual girl.
The one and only girl he desired. Dorcas Meadowes was Regulus Black's secret weapon under one silent conditionโhe never asked her how she knew the things she knew.
"Couldn't Vivien come here? She believes in the rule that Teenage girls fuck and always shares." Evan grumbled, glancing at her over his shoulder.
Regulus did the same, and his eyes skimmed against her. She jumped in her seat, shy about getting caught.
Regulus' heart melted. She was too cute! Everyone noticed how mousy she reacted to Regulus gazing back at her. Regulus was smiling, and he never appeared so warm before.
Pandora crossed her arms on her chest, her head tilting. She saw how dreamy he was. Barty and Dorcas caught a glimpse of his soft side as well. They glanced at each other, surprised. Evan straightened and looked at them with a frown. Then he looked at Regulus and whined with his disgusted face.
"Why are you smiling like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're happy in love?"
"I am." Regulus claimed. He never hid his feelings for Vi but they changedโgot even more intense as if he wasn't obsessed with her already. Vivien was melting through Regulus' frozen heart.
"What did Vivie do to you?" Pandora asked the better question.
Regulus' icicles of eyes weren't icy anymoreโthey were cloudy.
"Even if I wanted to say it, there are no words existing that could describe it."
"Hooked."
"Hooked."
"Hooked."
Pandora nodded her head in agreement with Dorcas', Barty's, and Evan's words, pointing her fork at them.
"Vi called us lovers." Regulus put up a forkful of chicken in his mouth.
Pandora put her hands over her mouth to squeal, delighted for him. Evan patted him on the shoulder in approval.
"You did each other good." Barty smirked.
Dorcas was simply proud of Regulus. He won twice that day. They were all proudโit was quite a process to help him.
"Do I even have a dormitory to come back to? Maybe I should take Vivien's place at yours?" Evan looked at Pandora, who dismissed him with a wave of her hand. She was about to respond but they heard the subject of their talk-
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ย ย ย ย ย "I'm filled already!" Vivien shouted frustrated with Zahara, Emmeline, and Sybill. She stood up abruptly after Z had asked her if it wasn't for the best to eat and then talk [calmly].
"I meant fed!" Not so sure that's what I meant, actually! "Full!" She corrected herself by jumping over the bench and leaving. "Fuck!" Stupid words!
Vivien recognised the two gawkers that were staring at her among so many students. James and Sirius watched her from the Gryffindor table, sitting on their own. She looked up at them and mouthed agressive, And fuck you two!, for no reason. Vivien was already annoyed with her friends!
"Are you coming for the night?" Emmeline asked, intentionally choosing her words to be stupid.
Vivien began growling gibberish under her nose, making sounds.
When she was at the exit, she nearly bumped into Teddy and Rosie.
They looked her up and down quickly with lifted eyebrows. She was tapping her foot. Theodore raised his finger, seeing his big sister change her look after she disappeared with Black for the whole afternoon.
"We don't want to know, sister. Keep this secret for yourself."
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus didn't expect to find Vivien anywhere but curled on his bed. Silently, he walked into his dormitory.
"Hi?"
She was kicking her foot on the mattress, disturbed. None understands! She was only wearing his polo neck after she threw away his jumper on the floor from her annoyance. Regulus walked over to the bed and climbed towards Vi, who was watching the lake out of the window. He grasped her hand and he kissed it. Vi felt his mouth again, when he pulled his polo neck she was wearing down and left on her skin a wet trail of kisses along the love marks he had given her before.
He kissed her on the cheek and her faรงade cracked.
"Who needs their head bitten off?"
"Everyone but you." Vivien smiled.
She chose not to talk about the questions Z, Sybie, and Emma started asking because she and Regulus would go back to the feelings talk, and they already had it that day. It's enough! She turned on her back under Regulus' body, and her legs wrapped around his thighs, bringing him onto her. He laid down on top of her, his head in her breast. Regulus felt Vi's fingers tangle in his curls as she twirled them softly for her enjoyment.
"Regulus?"
"Yeah?"
"Did we make love today?"
Maybe I overreacted? Vivien wanted someone to tell her what to think! She began feeling self-conscious. Was my behaviour childish?
Regulus' heart raced in his chest. He had shivers all over his body at the thought.
"The purest one I have for you now, Vi." He mumbled out with a quiet voice.
Vivien was envious of Regulus. He was so natural at using words. He could be a poet and Vivien would read every single one of his poems and out of spite pick up on something random to hate on them. But it was soothingโknowing he felt the same and she wasn't foolishly exaggerating.
They laid in silence and Vi listened to Regulus' breath get louder. It wanted to turn into snores until the door of the dormitory opened after a few minutes,
"Please, be dressed. Please, be dressed. Please, be dressed." Evan repeated it like a prayer and lurked inside the room with barely one eye open. He gazed at the young couple that acknowledged him with their stares.
"Thanks Merlin." He sighed with ease, seeing them dressed.
They were not doing anything intimate. They were acting rather adorable, in Evan's opinion. Regulus lay between Vivien's legs, cuddling to her torso and she was plaiting his hair in tiny braids.
"Zahara says sorry." Evan mentioned walking over to the sofa and spreading on it. "And by the way, Regulus, you could take an example from her and say sorry. It was impolite to forget about your friends like this."
"What did he do?" Vivien frowned.
"Oh, let me tell you, foxy. When you left the Great Hall, he stood up and went after you like the rest of us didn't exist."
"In that moment, you didn't." Regulus mumbled.
Hooked! Evan rolled his eyes and they landed on the pictures on the coffee table. Then he looked around the room. All the pictures in the dormitory were facing the walls or surfaces of the furniture. He stood up and came closer towards the dresser where the newest pictures were placed. The two drawings from Eden that Evan managed to already frame. One with everyone wearing green clothes, and another with yellow ones. Evan fixed them on the wall.
"You turned them away, mate?"
Regulus snorted with his eyes closed.
"Vi did." He didn't even have to even examine what Rosier was referring to.
Vivien did all that in seven minutes and twenty-three seconds of preparation for her and Regulus' private timeโBlack confidently counted the time he spent in the bathroom, sure that she would wait even hours if he took as much time.
Evan glanced at the quiet girl. She had her lips tightened into a line.
"You did?"
Vivien nodded.
"I didn't want to profane them." She whispered sheepishly. Ironically, now I think it would be showing them some love.
"Bollocks, I love you, woman!" Evan grinned widely, not even complaining about his pictures not being fixed.
He was glad that his kids were kept safe away from what occurred in that dormitory.
Hearing his best friend's words, Regulus raised his head a bit to look up at Vi. She smiled only at him.
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ย ย ย ย ย Next morning, Vivien, Evan, and Cassie sat in the Slytherin common room and after some time, Rora and Barty invited themselves there too, joining them.
Evan tried to keep his mouth shut, but it was hard for all of them to not say something when it was such a rare situationโVivien was without Regulus hooked on her. He got lost at the owlery, sending a letter to his parents.
And Vivien was here, savouring a tea after she sweetened it with a honey Regulus kept for her in his nightstand. She also devoured the silence of the room, it was so quiet on Sunday early morning until Dorcas spoke out,
"So foxy," Vivien looked at her sitting beside her. "How was your afternoon yesterday? What did you and Regulus do?"
Blush crept onto Vivien's cheek.
"Nothing." She said but grinned smugly despite her first reaction being shyness.
From the armchair, Barty poked his finger at her as a warning. "No, no, no. Lying bad, naughty fox."
"I would never lie!" Vivien scoffed at the audacity of those vile accusations. They would almost believe her, if they hadn't known her tricks for over four years.
"Come on, Vivia," Evan whined, ignoring her acting. It's serious if even Evan pleads to hear. "What do you want us to do? Beg on your knees?"
"You may try this, mate. She does like it." Regulus commented nonchalantly, sitting down beside Vi, placing his coat on the armrest.
Evan furrowed his eyebrows, horrified [unknown if because of Regulus or the information]. Pandora choked on her own tea but Barty and Dorcas smirked, entertained. Wicked!
Vivien was holding her cup tightly and Regulus reached for it. She slapped his hand. Regulus raised his brows at her. She looked at him seriously.
"Beg." She wiggled her eyebrows, playfully challenging him.
"And they will tell you nothing happened." Evan laughed to himself, hysterical.
Regulus looked at him, an eyebrow quirking.
"I didn't say we did nothingโI said I have no words to descri-"
"I have." Vivien said, making Regulus shut up.
All of her friends looked at her as she pointed her finger at Regulus over her shoulder, leaning closer towards the group to gossip about him.
"He called my legs beauties, opened them like a book, and made them shake twice." She whispered not-so-secretly.
Regulus blinked. That was pretty directโso bold, so blunt, so shameless in its honesty.
Their friends' eyes jumped between him and Vi. He didn't move a single muscle.
Pandora focused on Vivien.
"Does it take you a lot of time to think of the things you say?"
"Not a second, Aurora." She smirked, shaking her head proudly. "I'm natural. Only impulses."
Everyone bursted out like bubbles, except for Regulus and Vi. He leaned to her and stroked her nose with his. She scrunched her nose cutely.
In the meantime, Evan stretched out on Pandora on the opposite sofa. Regulus finally got the tea from Vi to drink. Cas and Barty decided to be the two devils raising the temperature.
"So," Cassie's tone slow and meaningful. "What else?"
"What else what?" Vi looked at her, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Cassie wants to know how well she and Pandora trained Regulus." Barty half-smiled.
"What do you mean?" She glanced at him but Barty looked at Regulus, who had drunk the tea, sceptical of him.
"How well they trained him to..." Black stared at him, studying him through the layers of his flesh to the depths of his soul until his eyes landed on the tiny bruises on Black's jaw that Vivien's sharp nails left.
"Be a good boy?"
Regulus choked on the tea, and Barty raised an eyebrow. Pandora and Evan peeped at each, his head in her laps. Dorcas whistled.
"I take it as a yes." Barty chuckled.
Vivien was impressed too, but the news caused her stomach to tighten nervously.
"You taught him to say all these things to me?" She looked between Pandora and Dorcas.
Regulus recognised sadness lacing Vi's voice. Thankfully, two girls did too.
"Oh no, no, no." Pandora shook her head as a sign that Vivien understood it all wrongly. "I only blunted his snobbery, and Cassie taught him a few things about girls."
Vivien squinted her eyes, suspicious of everyone but they all nodded their heads agreeing with Pandora.
"It's true, Vi. I had a busy schedule last year and even busier last month." Regulus reassured her.
"I gave him only instructions, not executions, Vivien. For Regulus' confidence to call your legs beauties and to say all these thingsโthat I would like to hearโyou can only blame yourself, I fear." Dorcas elaborated, but it got confusing to Vivien.
"We're still talking about making love now, right?" She grimaced with her face.
MAKING LOVE?! Vi's and Regulus' friends looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes to check if they all heard the young witch correctly. They did.
"Yes." Dorcas nodded, a sincere smile splitting her face.
Pandora and Evan were smiling even brighter than before. Barty smiled stupidly too.
Regulus saw all that but he stayed all cool. Vivien didn't write a mental note on anyone's behaviour as she took a moment to organise all the information until it was all clear to her.
"It makes sense now." She gazed at Regulus innocently.
"What?"
"Behind every successful man is always a woman."
"Excuse me?! Did you see Dorcas somewhere creeping around the room yesterday, telling me how to do anything?"
"Shhh, it's alright, baby. It's not your fault that you were born a boy, then became Regulus."
Chapter 26: big hot mess
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Despite diviners believing the long winter was coming for Highlands, the sun was rising as brightly as ever, ignoring those claims. Everyone at school knew who was impacting the weather. Students, professors, elves, and ghosts. Everyone.
Even the rain couldn't wash away Vivien's little idyll because the sun shone through it, causing the rainbows to appear. Regulus wasn't sure what hormones he stimulated in Vivien's teenage body but he constantly heard comments about thatโsome snarkierโquite a few times nearly fighting to protect Vi's name if it wasn't for Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas. Barty was always there to cheer on and back him.
Vivien wasn't doing anything like hopping around the castleโmaybe sometimes when she was absolutely happyโbut mostly she was simply being in the best mood. She was smiling a lot which was adorableโhow purely she looked with her big eyes and sweet dimples that Regulus kissed every time he saw them, which was a lot.
HOOKED!, thought anyone ever.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Teddy groaned and his hands dropped to his sides.
Vivien was passing him, Rosaire, and Ambrosie. She had her grin glued to her face, Dorcas and Evan following her like her guards, while she radiated the brightest.
"Can you stop? I actually miss the mud and crap." Rosaire whined, and Ambrosie hit him at the back of the head softly.
Ambrosie as the oldest brother had the most ability to grasp the concept of Vivien's happiness. He knew that any of them were any less than glad. Their younger brothers were just two little grey clouds, and Vivi was weakening their existence with constant light shining through them.
"Shut up." She threw over her shoulder, grinning.
Dorcas winked at the boys, and Evan silently bowed his head.
Nothing could wash away the picture of an idyll in Vivien's imagination!
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ย ย ย ย ย "Shite!" Emmeline growled after she threw everything out of her trunk. Vivien came into the dormitory and closed the door behind herself carefully. She looked at the distressed girl.
"Em, what's wrong?" She kneeled beside her.
"I have no pads. I forgot to pack up the rest."
"You've got your period?"
"In the middle of fucking class! If not for that stupid robe, everyone would see my bloody arse." Emmeline scoffed, embarrassed and irritated.
"I have pads." Vivien smiled softly.
She stood up and Emmeline went with her to the bathroom. They approached the cabinets. Vivien opened her drawer. Not only did she have pads, but she had six big packs of them untouched.
"Vivien, how many pads did you bring with yourself?" Emma pointed her finger at the pads.
To her, it felt like it was just yesterdayโSybie and her teaching Pandora and Vivien about pads. They were trying to use those odd cloths before, calling periods bleedings, which made Emmaline and Sybill appreciative of being raised between the muggle and wizarding worlds!
ย "Just those." Vivien tilted her head, answering.
"None of them is even open yet." Emma raised her eyebrows.
"It's because I didn't get my period yet."
"Vivien, it's the end of October? When did you have your last period?"
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ย ย ย ย ย Emmeline Vance turned into a poltergeist haunting the young witch for the next two hours.
Vivien tried to dismiss her with a wave of her hand but Emma began following her around the castle. She even sneaked inside the Muggle Studies classroom after Vivien. She pushed herself between Vivien's and Evan's seats, which didn't go unnoticed by him and Barty. Before Vivien could kill her or Evan and Barty could ask her a question, Emmeline said, "Vivien hasn't had her period since she had sex with Regulus during the summer."
Even though Emmeline got kicked out of the classroom, when Vi came out of it, she was leaning on the wall waiting for her. And she kept taking her toll because Evan was after Vivien's arse too. And then so were Bambi and Zara. Barty walked behind all of them, snickering.
Vivien sighed as she sat down in front of Cassie, Rora, and Bibie at the Ravenclaw table. They stared at the herd that she led. The young witch didn't even try to speak up. She placed her elbow on the table and rested her cheek in her hand. In the meantime, the plague of her friends spread around.
"Can someone explain?" Pandora pointed her spoon around at everyone.
"Vivien didn't get her period since she bonked with Regulus during the summer." Emmeline repeated it like the tenth time.
"And Em, you do realise that her brother is standing behind her, right?" Sybill pressed her lips into a line.
Ambrosie rolled his eyes.
"Please, I have known Vivien for almost fifteen years. But our brothers don't, and if they come here, maybe don't tell them this, Emy." He added, slightly worried she would.
"Don't tell your brothers what?" Regulus approached the herd. Everyone suddenly pointed his stare at him judgingly.
"Um," He looked behind himself conflicted. "Bye?"
He was about to turn around and walk away but Zahara caught him by his elbow.
"Sit down, you arseclown."
He glanced at her and Ambrosie who stood over Vivien. Emmeline sat at her side with Evan and Barty. Sybill, Pandora, and Dorcas sat on the other side of the table. Everyone was staring at him silently. Not Vivien. Vivien was scratching with her sharp nail in the wood of the table, uninterested.
He sat beside her, thinking it would be safe until he felt Ambrosie slap him on the back of his head as if he was his younger brother and not his big sister's fiancรฉ. He was about to shoot a glare at him until Zahara smacked him from the other side on the back of his head too.
"What part of promising me and my brothers that our sister is your only priority didn't you get?" Ambrosie scolded and Vivien's ears perked up.
She had never heard Regulus promise such a thing to her brothers in her life! Immediately, she was interested in the conversation. Her eyes met Regulus'.
He looked at her, searching for a sign that something was wrong to understand Bambi's outrage, but Vi only smiled sweetly with her jaw against her hand.
"Bollocks!" Ambrosie groaned quietly because Vivien and Regulus began making heart-shaped eyes at each other. "Vivi, tell him."
She sighed, gathering herself together, putting her hands together.
"Regulus," She sounded serious.
Black almost believed her like everyone else did.
Evan, under all the tension, started tapping his stressed foot.
"I-" She hesitated nervously. "I want to try anal sex."
Barty, Dorcas, Emmeline, and Sybill cackled out loud and out of their control. Ambrosie, standing behind his big sister, pretended to strangle her with his bare hands.
"Merlin." Zara murmured.
"Vivien!" Pandora scowled.
"No. Simply no." Evan stood up.
"Shame. You all obviously didn't see Regulus' little bum." Vivien winked at Regulus and her words silenced everyone.
Regulus was already sitting and listening but Vivien had him truly intrigued. It wasn't that he wanted to try and put something in her arse or have something put in his own arse but he was fascinated by what she could possibly think of putting in there.
"Vi, no. Please, stop." Zahara pushed herself in front of Ambrosie, who was losing his patience. She rested her hands on her best friend's shoulders.
Evan, who was walking nervously back and forth, stopped for a moment beside Regulus.
"She didn't get her period since you two shagged back in the summer, mate." He informed over his shoulder.
Regulus felt his throat close, unable to speak.
"Prioritise my arse, Black. You don't know how to even use your wand." Ambrosie complained.
"Oh, I'm afraid he knows a little too well how to fully use its potential." Barty snickered but Dorcas gave him a glare and he fell quiet. Wrong time!
Regulus looked at Vi, who rolled her eyes at everyone and went back to scraping the wood of the table.
His gaze travelled down her figure. He had a chance to see her pretty bare and from different angles a few days beforeโher tummy didn't seem like one with a child. She slept at his dormitory a lot, and she didn't vomit at night or in the morning. But he noticed that through the last few weeks she had lost her appetite and was fatigued a lot. Vivien always kept using the toilet like a maniac so it was no evidence. But she was always easily overwhelmed, which he knew from their Potions partnership. Yet, the last one changed because Vi was glowingโit's how his mother would describe it.
That was the thing he stimulated in her? Pregnancy hormones?, that thought caused Regulus to taste bile in his mouth.
"Vi, do you take the potion you told me about regularly?" He felt like an idiot, realising that he and Vi had put the whole responsibility on her for the acts they both very intensely participated in.
"Not you too!"
Fine, Vivien was irritated again.
"Yeah, me too. Fuck, Vi. Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?" Again, he felt like a complete idiot. He spent so much time with her, and he couldn't tell something was wrong?! What kind of arseclown didn't pay attention to his lover girl?!
"Are you all mental?" Vivien knocked on her forehead with a fist. "You think I'm expecting a child?"
"Yes, and your body agrees." Regulus argued, trying to stay calm and grounded.
Edgar choked on his sandwich out loud, coughing and spitting everywhere, when he was approaching them all. Everyone looked in his direction.
"Should-should I go?"
"No, stay. It might be yours as well." Vivien smiled sarcastically.
Regulus already stared at Edgar even before those words left her mouth. Bones was used to Black's envy but his stare changed from the jealous one to the furious one in the last few days, telling him, I know what you did to her.
Edgar only blamed himself for that. He assumed Vivien had told Regulus what he told her when she didn't deserve to hear such a shite from him. Edgar looked between him and Vivien.
"Fifi, the last time I've cummed in months was inside you on our way to London. If it was mine, you would have a little balloon by now."
"What about the time on your way back to Hogwarts?" Bartyโs lips twisted poisonously, like he held a grudge for that with Black.
Edgar cringed, "Not my proudest moment. We don't talk about it."
"No, no. Let's talk about it for a moment actually." Regulus smirked sarcastically.
Vivien rolled her eyes at that.
"What do you want us to say exactly, Regulus? Because I was there too." She reminded him. She knew Regulus respected her to not talk about his biggest issue with Edgar but she was aware he would be even more petty about him than before.
"Well, only bodily." Edgar muttered, biting into his sandwich, quite insulted.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, insulted that he suggested she bore him.
"Excuse me for honesty but in your head, you wished to be there with another person." He accused with a full mouth. "Very humbling, I won't lie. After that, I'm in need of a break from girls. I was sweating, and you were not even trying to mask the boredom, Fifi."
Oh, it's not that I bored him. It's that he bored me...
Ambrosie laughed, self-satisfied. He had no personal vendetta against Edgar. After Nolan, he simply didn't trust any boy around Vivien.
Vivien flushed, hearing her brother giggle so maliciously.
It's true! Vivien used Edgar's cock to try to get Regulus' off her mind! She couldn't stop thinking about him, and it made her feel obsessive. She was lost about why he was all over her thoughts so much. But Edgar didn't help her change that!
Regulus was proud of himself. Vi was thinking about him when she was with another boy. Her cute blush confirmed Bones' words.
Zahara smacked Regulus at the back of the head again.
"Yeah, we get it. You make Vivien's legs shakeโshe makes your dick hard. Stop grinning, you cretin."
Vivien rolled her eyes, annoyed. Everyone was so pushy towards her about Regulus, who already had an ego the size of the Black Lake. The whole situation was chaotic. Big hot mess.
"Fine, I'm pregnant and it's surely Regulus'." Vi smirked in her frustrated demeanor. "You were recently inside, so I hope you welcomed the baby warmly, Black."
"I don't doubt that." Barty murmured under his nose, everyone else's ears heating hellishly at the very dirty graphic joke.
"Gross!" Evan threw his hands in the air.
"Oh, so when everyone else talks about what happens between my legs it's fine, but when I talk about it it's gross."
"It's because you have no control over your tongue or a single fuck you give to spare anyone with your words, sister."
"Now that I think of it, maybe the baby even recognised you from that perspective, Regulusโthe daddy it got lost from in the first place."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien wasn't mad that her friends and brother were worried. She was rather mad that they didn't trust her and treated her like a child. She knew her body and if it changed in such a significant way, she would be alerted. She wasn't experiencing anything she hadn't before. She wasn't expecting anything different than before. Still, she skipped the rest of her schedules to go to Regulus' dormitory with him. He was always prepared, so when he had orchid flower seeds and a small bottle, Vivien didn't even ask about Manon giving him that shite.
"Oh, no, no, no. Daddy stays with us." Vi demanded after Regulus turned in the doorway to leave her alone in the bathroom.
He faced her awkwardly, She was unzipping her cigarette trousers. His lips tightened in a thin line, once Vivien was pulling her panties down and sitting on the toilet. She stared at him haughty with a sweet fake smile plastered on her face. They listened to her pee. Finished, she corrected her clothes, washed her hands. With her hips swinging, she walked towards Regulus.
"All yours." Vi pushed the bottle into his chest before leaving him in the bathroom with the gift, which he accepted with a lip-tight smile. "Don't drink it all, baby. You need some for the test."
Soon Regulus left the bathroom with the biggest sigh. Vi was lying in his bed with her hands under her head, careless.
"You've got any actual tests for a child, haven't you?" She mused, her eyes closed.
"Absolutely. I don't mean to disrespect the orchid seeds, but I don't trust them as much as your family."
"What's the verdict?" She heard Regulus dragging his feet towards her. She opened one of her eyes to see him crouch down at the bedside. He looked at her gently and laid his hands on her abdomen.
Vivien nodded her head and closed her eyes back. She felt Regulus uncover her tummy from all the layers of clothes that he folded up.
"This belly," Vi felt Regulus' slim finger caress her skin delicately. "-isn't bearing a child." She felt his breath against her skin before he kissed her belly bump.
"It's almost as if I said something like this already." Vivien murmured, feeling goosebumps bathe her skin like water.
"I'm sorry." Regulus whispered back before kissing her tummy again.
"Sorry won't fix it, murderous daddy." She accused him playfully. "Maybe you didn't stab me, but you crushed our child and then drowned its remains."
"It's not funny, Vi." It was when she described the act from such an absurd perspective.
"I agree. That's tragic." Vivien opened her eyes to gaze at Regulus. "Imagine our beautiful daughter marrying one of her cousins. Who would that be? Sirius' children? Or maybe not. Maybe your cousins' children? What's their name? Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa? Let's forget Andromeda. She wouldn't be up for that challenge even if she didn't get disowned, I fear. She was quite the boring one." She ironized but it wasn't her sarcasm that struck Regulus like a bolt.
"Sirius told you about Andromeda?" He asked, studying her face for an answer.
Suddenly Vivien felt stupid for speaking on the matter of Regulus' family just like that in front of his face, forgetting herself before. She cleared her throat.
"He did. He said she was his favourite cousin, and yours was Narcissa, I believe?" She spoke hesitantlyโit wasn't her place to talk about Regulus' family.
"Certainly it wasn't Bella." Regulus chuckled.
"That's the insane one?"
He nodded.
"Yeah." He smiled, nearly feeling sentimental at all the bad memories. "She used to scare us when we were children. She was the oldest one out of the five of us. She has a worse temper than our parents combined all together."
"Aggressive?" Vivien asked quietly, smiling sadly.
"Very. She's the complete opposite of the four of us."
"What does it mean?"
Regulus' mouth corners fell down and he let himself wince at the painful memories.
"She never doubted the methods or morals. She was probably the least punished as a child. Still, she is the only one who has the strength to raise her hand at innocence. It's so easy for her. " He elaborated quietly, gazing at Vivien's tummy meaningfully. His eyes lingering, twitching.
"Vi, I would never raise a hand at innocents." He whispered, stroking her tummy. "I would never raise a hand at the two of youโat you, Vi, and our poor child I thought you were carrying for the last thirty-seven minutes of my life."
Vivien instantly sat up.
"I know." She knew that! Regulus could be spiteful and rude, but he was never abusive. He was like an oasis of serenity. Vivien would think many things about Regulus when they used to fight but not once would she be terrified or terrorised by the thought that he was close to laying a hand on her in an aggressive manner.
The two focused on each other. Regulus' eyes were steadied, studying Vivien's face. She was touched that he thought that she doubted the quality of a man he was.
"I never thought otherwise, Regulus. Not even when I punched you in the jaw." She placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him to her. She kissed him on the forehead. "You stress me out in many ways but that was never one of them, Regulus."
She hooked her arms around him, and so did he around her after she moved to the middle of the mattressโso both of them would have enough space to fit onto it. They rested in silence, his forehead against her neck.
Vivien was brushing Regulus' curls.
"You don't want to have children, Rebulus, do you?" She asked unsureโhe never before voiced his opinion on the matter and she realised she didn't know that about himโshe only knew what was the Blacks' ideal image of the family.
Regulus was drawing on her belly, taking his time to think the question through and answer it.
"I don't want to have a child born into this family and raised around all of that."
Regulus hated the idea of bringing anyone else into his family to suffer with him. He didn't choose to be a part of it but he could choose to never add a new part to it.
And it was exactly at that moment that he realised he couldn't choose that either.
Vi already was added to his sick family as his soon-to-be wife, and he never proposed to her! If he ever did, he would make sure she liked him to begin with because where they found themselves at. Vi was bought into his family in exchange for her family's safety. Maybe she did like him but it wasn't before she was introduced as his fiancรฉe. Everything was wrong! Regulus felt like smashing his head into the mirror. He wanted to shout. His family took the only good thing he had leftโbeing in love. They corrupted even something so pure in every twisted way they could think of.
He chuckled bitterly.
"You know why Narcissa used to be my favourite cousin and Andromeda was Sirius? I think it was the similarities. We all followed our heartsโthe difference between Sirius with Andromeda and me with Narcissa is that their hearts want to love and ours want to be loved. I always wanted so badly for my parents to notice meโthey usually only did it when I did something they considered wrongโlike shattered the vase, stained the carpet, or broke the old clock. When I was older it was when I found friends in the people outside the aristocracy or had the wrong interests. Sirius kept rebelling against it and the more he did, the more he was punished. It made him resent our mother and father. It's what happened with Andromeda too." Regulus sounded sour.
Vivien could tell that his family made him feel resentful, when she kept listening to how quietly and emotionlessly he talked about it.
"Then there was me and Narcissaโit made us want to be our parents' perfect golden children. Ones that always listen, never complain. The issue is that no matter how hard I try, it's not enough. I will never shine the brightest, no matter how many stars they name me after. It took me a lot of time to make peace with it, but finally I understood why that was."
Regulus faced Vivien, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Why?"
"Because my father procreated his hatred and my mother gave birth to her spite. It took them over a decade after the wedding to conceive Sirius and then me. They never shared a bedroom and sometimes they don't even share a look throughout the day. It's because deep down, they are aware they were forced to do disgusting things and they are ashamed of themselves, of me, and of Sirius. And that will never change because we all always will be the product of the degradation that this family did to itself. The truth about the Black family is that no one can fuck it up as effectively as its own members, my dear Vivien. So now tell meโdo you want me to give you a child?"
This is one way to ask if I plan to have children in the future!
Vivien and Regulus gazed at each other, and she felt like they should touch on the topic more after he opened up like that. Yet, he boldly changed it before Vivien could think of anything wise to say about the perspective of his family he introduced her to. Vi wanted to say a silly yes because she was convinced Regulus would ask her if she wanted him to give her that child right then. But it was wrong, even if he initiated. He did it out of the extreme emotions he feltโto try and release it somewhere and cope with it healthilyโthe healthiest idea that any heartbroken teenager knew.
Vivien's gaze ran away from Regulus'. She bit her bottom lip. He was caressing her belly, tenderly tickling her.
"I-" She swallowed, and he felt her suck her belly under the touch of his fingers. "I don't think so. I don't really like babies."
"Is that so? Don't you have five younger brothers?" Regulus raised his brows.
"Exactly. They are brothersโnot sons. I didn't choose to have them." Vivien realised how badly it sounded out only after she said it, snort leaving her mouth.
Regulus seemed surprised at her reaction.
"I mean, they are the reason I know I can't stand a baby."
Oh, Merlin!, she sounded like a monster, worsening her situation because she made it worse, didn't she?
Regulus was resting his chin on her breast, waiting for her to elaborate.
"Vi, I'm not judging youโI'm just intrigued where that opinion is coming from." He mumbled out.
Vivien rolled her lips into her mouth. As she opened them again, a sighย left her,
"I remember how they used to cry. They would cry and cry. It was always so noisy because oftentimes, they would cause mama to cry. All the crying was an ache for a head. I remember how they would cry from their cribs at night time, and mama would go mad most of the time. Teddy used to be especially clingy and mama never was. She would go into his nursery and shout at the baby he was, asking him what he wanted her to do. Sometimes I heard her walking around the master bedroom, repeating for one of my brothers to shut up until she would lose her temper and screamโif Dove, Raven, and Poe didn't calm them and her in time."
Vivien whispered it as if she was back in that house with Manonโneeding to be careful with every step she took to not trigger her mother with a single noise. Her eyes were absent, adding to Regulus' assumption.
"It was never quiet because if they weren't crying, I probably wasโhidden in my bedroom." She joked at last.
Regulus' stomach dropped into a sea of pity. Vivien never talked about her family and after the time Regulus spent with Beauchรชnes, it was crystal clear Vivien didn't have a healthy relationship with her mother and was burdened with her brothersโeven if she would never dare to call it what it was. And the first time she actually mentioned her memories about Manon, he understood it was always bad like that.
"Vi, where was your father?"
"What?" Vivien looked at Regulus, her eyebrows frowning.
"Why wasn't your father helping at home?"
Oh, I forgot I had one of those. Her face eased.
"Papa was working a lot. Not only now but since like ever he was rarely at home. And when he finally got back home, he always found his way out of it quickly. He never really was there but it was nice when he visited with presents from the place he worked at the given time, I guess." Vivien snorted to herself. "But my grandmother stepped in a lot. She was pretty skilled with us too."
"You mean after Manon got sent to St Mungo's?" Regulus asked.
Vivien considered it comforted him to not be the only one having a shitty, disappointing family. She smiled.
"That's why we don't listen to rumours, doll. She didn't get sent." She poked him at his nose. Her tone was light as if she didn't want the weight of her words to affect him. "She was taken in after she almost drank herself to death because her liver stopped working."
Vivien tried to be collected about what she confessed, but Regulus watched her attentively. It was always her eyes that would betray her. They twitched. She tried so bravely to hide her pain.
She turned her face away. Regulus didn't want her to act bravely. His hand beared her jaw until she willingly looked at him again.
"You found her?"
Vivien rolled her lips into her mouth. Despite her strenuous effort, tears escaped her eyes. She nodded her head. In a matter of seconds, Regulus took her into his arms, resting on his back, hugging her tightly while she sobbed into his shoulder.
"What happened?" He asked, his tone gentle.
He had heard some rumours two years earlier but Vi was rightโit wasn't smart to listen to those. He wanted to understand Vi the best he could.
"It was actually Eden who found her first. We learned to walk and he would wander around home on his own a few times. He would even climb down and up the stairs on all fours. He woke me in the middle of the night to tell me Manon was bad. I was used to her sobering but he wasn't. Good thing he wasn't! I asked him if she was in her bed and he said she was sleepy in the toilet. I didn't want him to think it was normal. I got up, took him in my arms, and he instructed me to the bathroom down the hallway. The door was opened, and the smell was disgusting. When I came in, Manon was lying in the pool of her blood. She was shaking. She got so badly sick from the alcohol that when she tried to get up from the tiles, she slipped and smashed her head against the washbasin. My mother regrowing her liver was not the present I expected on Boxing Day. Father was away. Thanks to Merlin, my other brothers weren't there to see that. I didn't know what to do when I sat down to hold the towel against her wound. She was heating up. I asked Eden if he could find Poe to tell them mama was bad sleepy in the toilet. He was three and I was the one asking him for help!"
Vivien cried out, hiding herself with a hand over her face, ashamed of herself.
Regulus shut his eyes, feeling his own tears gather there, listening to her.
"I'm so scared, Regulus. I'm scared that I'm failing my brothers. Philly is already gone! And Eden's on his own. He might have forgotten what he saw in that bathroom but he won't forget his older brother dying on him. He won't forget Philippe. Philly was dying and I wasn't fucking there to help him. And I do everything to keep them all safe, but it feels like I'm choosing the worst way to do it. I just want them to be safe." She wept desperately.
"Vivien, you know why you weren't there to save Philippe? You were at school. You are sixteen. You are as young as your brothers are."
"No, I'm their older sister."
"You pointed out that before. Sister is a keyword here. You aren't failing them. You are probably the only reason why these pixies are so convincing with their human-like acts." Regulus tried to lighten Vivien up. She snorted through her tears, close to snotting herself in front of him. Her heart was aching but he was there to keep it together, safe from shattering into pieces. She looked up to him, and their eyes met.
"As someone's younger brother, I assure you, Ambrosie already knows you don't have your own Vivien, and that's why he cares so much. Your brothers will never forget what you gave them. You were their good influence, when none else was." He whispered.
Vivien studied Regulus, searching for a sign he was lying to her. She found none. She reached for his lips. She kissed him slowly as a thank you. Regulus broke apart to look at her. She looked at him back through her thickened lashes. They felt that enchantmentโlike some spell was pulling them together.
Regulus kissed Vivien, his hands sneaking under her undone trousers and onto her bare thighs to pull her on top of him. She sat on him, their lips stroking each other.
Vivien leaned over Regulus, her hand against the headboard of his bed. Her other hand travelled underneath his Slytherin jumper, his lips wandering on her jaw. Their hearts beat so fast that the time felt like it was slowing down. That happened all the time between Regulus and Vivien. Their actions didn't feel slow or lasting too longโthey felt so intense that they happened in a slowed time as if someone was playing with a Time Turner recklessly.
Vivien was gently drawing her sharp nails on Regulus to not hurt him. She felt his hand move under her button-up and camisole as he kissed her neck which she was presenting to him. She had to heal the marks he left on her, and she missed them dearly. Her heart yearned for those lovemarks from Regulus.
He began unbuttoning that mere shirt Vi was wearing and she let him. He pushed it down her arms and threw it on the ground.
Vivien tugged at his Slytherin jumper and they took it off too. Regulus shook his head to fix his curls, and she smiled at him. She moved down on him and began to consume his jaw, neck, and collarbone with her hungry mouth, craving his pristine untouched skin.
Regulus closed his eyes as Vivien was fondling his chest so lovingly. She straightened, towering over him to contemplate him. He gazed up at her.
"I wish you could see yourself. You are so divine, Regulus. Like heaven on earth." She drew her finger on him like he was an art and she was the artist because that's what they were together.
"Is Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne trying to be romantic?" Regulus' heart skipped a beat, when he showed her his dimples.
Vi nodded her head weakly.
"Only for you, my angel." She leaned to kiss him, and Regulus felt her hands undoing his belt.
At that, something burstโhis bubble. He couldn't. They shouldn't. He was internally shouting minutes before, and Vi was just crying. She didn't deserve the sorrowful act they would perform. They deserved something better. Something special than what they would do.
"Safe word." Regulus murmured.
Vi straightened, checked on him attentively with her worried eyes.
"Did something happen? Did I do something?"
"I just don't think we should make love today." It was that simple.
He smiled.
"No?" Vivien could tell they shouldn't, but it was hard to resist Regulus' beauty and charm. She needed him to put an end to itโshe was too weak for him.
"No."
"It's inappropriate?"
"What?" His brows knitted together.
"Because we are still grieving that poor sweet crumb you crushed with your tip inside me?" She joked.
He chuckled, "Sweet crumb? You named the child we're not having, Vi?"
"I'm naming everything, murderous daddy."
"Please, stop calling me daddy." Black complained, his hands warming on her hips, stroking them.
"I kind of hoped you would call me mommy back." Vivien confessed, causing Regulus' head to tilt.
"Do you want me to call you mommy, Vi?"
"I have no clue because you don't take a hint to try, baby." She stabbed him in the chest with her nail, accusingly.
He looked down at her finger and his eyes very slowly traced back to her face.
"Mommy." Regulus smirked playfully.
Vivien immediately cringed with her whole face.
"Absolutely not. Not in this lifetime." She shook her head.
"Oh, so I can play with your titties, but the line stands at calling you mommy?" Black laughed.
"I wonder if you're emotionally damaged because of the inbreeding or because of the unstable relationships in your family." Vivien squinted her eyes at him.
"It's both, I fear, my Highness." Regulus replied with a smug smirk playing on his lips.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Oi, Regulus!"
Ambrosie walked in all his glory, his hands in the pockets of his uniform like he wasn't breaking rules. He acted so nonchalantly, knowing exactly what he was doing while he couldn't give a single shite about it.
Regulus and Barty turned around in his direction while patrolling the corridors.
"Vi's not with a child." Regulus commented, rolling his eyes at younger Beauchรชne approaching him and Barty so classy.
Ambrosie bowed his head, stopping in front of the two prefects.
"Good. About thatโlisten, Black, I'm happy you make my sister happy, and it's not my business how both of you do this but it's my sister, fine? I don't want her to take a risk like that. Use your other head, and think of a way to keep it safe without leaving all the responsibility to her." Bambi reprimanded Regulus like an older brother would.
Regulus felt quite embarrassedโhe made a complete prick out of himself to Vi.
Barty chuckled, earning glares from both of the boys. He was being silenced throughout that whole day!
"Shouldn't you be in bed, little brat?" Barty cleared his throat.
Ambrosie raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.
"It's barely nine, you cretin." Yes, he was definitely Vivien's brother. "Idiotter let me past him. He doesn't want to have bad blood with all the Beauchรชnes. He should be kissing up to my sister's arse for keeping the stinky shite between only them two."
"You came all the way to tell us this and let us know that Regulus should keep it in pants?"
"I'm not telling Black or my sister to stop having sex-"
"We make love now, actually." Regulus grinned, correcting Ambrosieโhe and Barty looked at him.
Barty chuckled at him smirking so proudly, trying to make little Beauchรชne speechless.
"Black, please shut up or I will change my mind. Anyway, I've come all this way down here to ask Regulus to talk with Vi." Ambrosie continued, smiling, fakely unbothered about Regulus' wording.
He was botheredโbut for a different reason.
Regulus tilted his head, "Talk about what?"
Chapter 27: hallowe'en
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne loved, loved, loved Hallowe'en!
She liked the spirit of that dayโespecially with all the decorations around the castle and special Halloween feast. The celebration wasn't popular in France, and the first time Vivien celebrated it in Hogwarts, she fell in love with the aura of that day! During the third year, she attended the Hallowe'en party for the first time after James, with the help of Remus, sneaked her into the Room of Requirement under the invisibility cloakโit was her very first party in her life, and it changed her as a person.
It was a memory she would never forget. It was wicked! Many older students from fourth to seventh year would dress up as different creatures or even as some adorable ones!
Vivien loved the every-year celebration party of Hallowe'en, even if she didn't dress up herself. She wanted to stay respectful of Mother Nature and not mock the beings she created. Vivien knew she was a merciful goddess who would forgive her but to be honest, she wasn't confident dressed up.
Vivien was all cheered after Barty kept creeping up on her, Pandora, and Evan to scare them throughout the whole day and classes. Regulus and Dorcas were unfazed by his foolingโthey were hard to scare outโunlike Evan, who would jump every single time. Once, Crouch came at him from behind, and Evan ended in his chest. The flirty joke that left Junior's mouth made him shite his pants in distress.
Dorcas was invited to Vivien's and her roommates' dormitory to get ready for the party with other girls. It was always fun sharing such a moment while Vivien deeply mourned the fact that Zahara came from a very conservative and religious family. She wished she was there too!
Dorcas with Pandora's help were styling her loose curls after they put Pandora's delicate waves into a half-crown. Two girl-friends sat in front of the cheval glass. Pandora was ready for the night with her delicate make-up on her porcelain skin and a dreamy evening gown in baby blue of her figure. She had a blue lacey ribbon tied around her neck and in her hair which she borrowed from Vivien.
Dorcas had pinkish glimmering eyeshadow, curled-up eyelashes, and lipgloss glazed on her full lips. Her disco dress was hanging on the wardrobe's door, waiting to be worn. It was made from glimmering material to match her make-up, and she had gogo boots in the fun colour of hot pink to match her golden skin.
The two looked heavenly whenever Vivien would peep at them, Sybill painting her nails a green colour. The colour is an accidental choice!
Sybill had her blonde curls flowing everywhere and they looked so graceful. She had her turquoise shadow on her eyes. She put on denim high-waisted bell bottoms with a material-lacking top that was tied in the back. The top had bell sleeves and an exposed dรฉcolletรฉ. It was a dark turquoise colour to match her make-up.
Emmeline was putting on mascara and eyeliner in the bathroom in front of the mirror. She already sported a black polo neck and miniskirt with black tights and boots. She had charmed cat ears on top of her head, her hair tied in a loose braid. She dressed up as Sybie's black [dead] cat. She never was a try-hard. Still, her casual, simple look was attractive with her warm eyes brought out and her curves showing, which wasn't usual for her.
Vivien didn't understand how only Dorcas was looking for a good time that night. The rest of the girls looked just as hot!
Still, Vivien didn't press, push or poke, silently admiring all of her girl-friends, slowly smoking her herbs, sharing it with girls from time to time. She had the mere rest saved from the previous semester, and she wanted to use it to have the time of her life that night, forgetting about all the shite of the past few months.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was frustrated. He was glad that Ambrosie came to him with such an issue. He understood himโpartially. At the same time, he didn't know what Bambi was thinking.
If Vivien knew that he and Barty knew about her secret, she would bite all of three's heads for talking about her behind her back on such a matter. It frustrated Regulus even more. The fact that it had to be talked about behind her back because Vi didn't tell him. She kept suspecting Regulus about anything, always assuming he was hiding some nasty secrets from her but it was Vi that was telling him nothing.
He understood why she didn't feel like talking about Nolan or her family on a daily basisโhe wouldn't hurry herโhe would patiently wait for her to open up because they were together in everything. But Regulus didn't understand why Vi tried to mask the fact that she was ill and needed to take potions every day to feel better. What was worse, she refused to go to Madame Pomfrey by avoiding the lady or her own brothers in case they would try to trick her.
Regulus didn't think that him getting that stupid head from Alecto Carrow was as important as Vi being ill and playing it off like it was nothing! Still, he had no heart to try and bring up the topic, Vi was so cheered up for Halloween. For those days he gave her peace. It was not hard for Regulus to pretend he wasn't aware of what Ambrosie shared with him and Barty, who promised to keep it quiet and offered his help if needed.
The party in the Room of Requirement started at eight, but the fun part would start around ten, when the students would get pissed. Regulus, Barty, and Evan showed up on time to get their first drink, their girl-friends dressing up only to end up looking like hot messes in a matter of the first hour anyway.
The Room of Requirement was charmed into an enormous and rather dark room. It was lightened only by that fun-looking muggle chandelier in the shape of a ball. Barty called it a disco ball. It illuminated the room in colours. There was a big dance floor in the middle of the room. Music already thudded, and on snack tables was alcohol that would be pouring everywhere the whole evening. Under the walls, there were areas of small rooms with sofas and armchairs for people to sit in, and three teenage boys spread around one.
It was early and barely any students were arriving. Nonetheless, Regulus' observed the entrance.
If he could tell one thing about muggle-borns after all those years at Hogwarts, it was that they were the kind of people who knew how to make a party. Their parties were never like those pure-blood banquets with ballroom dances, classical music, and stiff people who had wooden sticks up their arses.
Muggle parties were chaotic and anything but classy. At some point, fire whisky would be mixed with water, and it would be an obscure sight to watch some teenagers chug it down like juice. Regulus did that before too. And that was funโand not sipping red wine of the highest quality.
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ย ย ย ย ย The girls were taking their sweet time. Vivien was the last one to be ready. When she was, her friends looked her up and down. Vi's initial plan was to wear the dress she was wearing during the time she had taken Regulus' virginity but Dorcas had already chosen a dress in the same fashion and hers was more spectacular.
Vi entered the Room of Requirement with Emmeline hooked around her waist. She was dressed in the dress she wore on the last day of summer at Black's residenceโthe one fitting all of her curves perfectly like it was sewn on her. She had her hair in her usual style, tied with lavender bows. On her dรฉcolletรฉ rested a pearly necklace. Her nails were manicured, and the only ring on her fingers was the engagement one. The emerald matched her dark nails and wild irises. She put some mascara on her eyelashes, added some blush on her cheeks, and used transparent lipgloss on her lips.
It took no time for Regulus to spot his girl-friends. They looked beautifulโbut the one his eyes couldn't rip apart from once they met herโwas the one who was grinning the widest.
Vivien was showing her pearly teeth, matching her necklace. The young couple's eyes locked from across the room and before Evan and Barty could comment, Regulus was already on his feet, walking towards the girls.
The girls looked at each other, giggling. Vivien was making Regulus' legs weak, yet somehow he used them so effectively only for her.
HOOKED! When Regulus was coming closer, he noticed how giggly all the girls were. They obviously had their own party before that one. Emmeline's hand left Vivien's body, and she tucked her arms behind her back, standing innocently, awaiting Regulus that was marching towards her. She was smiling cutely, her friends whispering and giggling. Hooked...
"H-" Before Vi could finish her fakely shy Hi, Regulus crushed his lips on hers. His hands grabbed her waist tightly. It was rightful for him, unlike Emmeline Vance. He worked hard for that privilege and didn't like sharing it.
"Oh," Sybill let out, surprised.
Regulus had her and the other girls startled at how straight to his action he was. Dorcas whistled meaningfully, smirking.
Vivien's lips floated with Regulus' lightly, and her hands squeezed his waist, bringing him closer to her. Regulus tasted like mint from the White Rat Whiskey, kissing her greedily. They heard some howls of approval at Regulus' shameless behaviour.
"Get that C!" Barty shouted, but it was hard to tell if he meant Vi or Regulus. Both!
The young couple didn't hear the click of Rora's camera, but Vivien and Regulus saw its flesh out of the corners of their eyes. They ignored Pandora, her camera, and the rest of their surroundings. They held on to all that mattered in that moment.
Regulus' lips left Vi's and he placed a kiss on her head like a crown, hoping she would carry it high and proud. His forehead rested against hers.
"I guess I look good." She whispered for him only.
He inhaled a deep breath of lavender that Vi smelled like.
"Very tempting and beautifulโas usual." He murmured back.
"Is it as usual? I don't think that kiss was as usual."
"It wasn't?"
"No." She softly shook her head.
"Maybe it's that dress then. It reminds me how much my mother misjudged you."
"What do you mean?"
"She really thought that once you put it on, you would look like some pure-blood Christian girl on Sunday morning in church. I think she forgot you are a French girl."
"Which makes me?"
"Which makes you look like my sweet Vi, wearing it on a random evening to a Halloween party before some boyโwhich is only me, Regulus Blackโtakes you to his room and takes proper care of a queen like you, my Majesty."
"That's vulgar." Vivien smirked smugly. "What will you do with me? Open my legs in this little dress?"
Regulus smirked, cradling her jaw in his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.
"One of a very long list of things I want to do with you when I see you in this little Christian dress is to take it off of you, Vi."
"Then you know how I feel whenever I see you clothed."
His thumbs stopped.
"Fuck. My mother really thought that dress would turn you into a good girl. I can promise you we will take that little dress' virginity tonight, Vi."
"I think this dress turns you into a very, very naughty boy, Regulus."
"That might be the alcohol actually."
"Naughty, naughty Regulus."
"Oh, please. I can smell that lavender off of you and the girls."
"Oh, so you realise I'm not the only girl in the room?"
"I do. It's just you're the prettiest one to me."
Vivien parted softly, looking around for her girl-friends but not seeing them.
"But they look hot. I'm kind of worried that only Cas is looking for fun." She sounded concerned.
"I'm sure that two love birds are each other's fun, and the person Panda would like to have fun with is not present."
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, pulling away, literally taken aback. "What? What do you mean that there is someone Rora would like to have fun with?"
"You don't know that Panda's dating?"
Regulus tilted his head, so did Vi.
"Rora's dating? Who?" Vivien looked around the room in search of her friends once more.
She noticed them waving their hands at her. The girls joined the boys on the comfy couches and armchairs, taking most of the free seats. Behind Barty and Dorcas, Ambrosie, Hestia, and Kingsley were leaning on a backrest of the couch.
Regulus looked at them too before offering Vi his hand. He took her towards the boxroom where the only seat left for the young couple was a single armchair. Of course.
Regulus couldn't care less, sitting down in it before looking up at Vi with big eyes as an invitation that she wouldn't decline. She sat down between his laps with her legs spread too. She did that oftentimes wearing trousers, but with a dress on Regulus closed her legs with his own. He took her hands in his and hugged her around her waist.
And she looked at him all fussily for making her stick her legs together.
He leaned to her ear, his lips stroking its edge.
"Behave. What you have there is only for me to see, Vi." He smiled riskily.
Fine, Vi would behave! It wasn't like she meant otherwiseโshe just forgot her manners. She rested in his chest, feeling fluttering in her belly at Regulus' promiscuity. He laid his chin on her shoulder.
"You two really are still here? Unbelievable!" Evan theatrically hung his mouth open, his hand on his heart.
"I just cameโwhy would I leave already?"
"They were betting on how long it would take you to separate from one another." Sybill piped in, nodding her head to emphasise her words.
"And?" Black asked, bored.
"And we all agreed with Bambi and Kingsley that you would just leave by now without a word." Barty stated, looking at two fourteen-year-olds.
Vivien was insulted! Little piece of shite!
"You really think so low of me, brother?" She stared at Bambi.
"It's less of a matter of a bad opinion about you, sissy, and more of the knowledge of your fervour, missy. You have a really bad case of ferality for Black."
Vi scoffed.
"Since when are they letting pixies into Hogwarts now?" She squinted her eyes at Bambi, Kingsley, and Hestiaโthat one was trying so hard not to laugh.
"I believe it's been since they let you in." She pointed her finger at Vivien, cheekily with her dimples.
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ย ย ย ย ย Like everything Vi did, the night turned into one big chaos. It all started when she sent Regulus for drinks. But he ended up being chatted up by Felicity Thimblewick and one of her friends. Thimblewick was wearing a tight bottle green dress that showed off all of her curves. Unfortunately, she had a lot of them. She had a very feminine figure that a lot of girls were jealous of. She was of average heightโnot too short, not too tall. She was standing in front of Regulus, who leaned his little bum against the edge of the snack table. She was making those doe eyes at him, her friend sitting on the table beside Regulus with her legs swinging slowly. Vivien saw Black enjoying himself, his eyes meeting hers after Felicity laid her hand on his chest, laughing with her friend at something he said.
I don't remember him being that funny. Vivien sat on the armchair, her elbows on the armrest. She was quite bugged.
"He's just provoking you, Vivie."
She turned towards Cassie, who moved towards her on the couch. Sybill, Emmeline, and Barty were drinking themselves up in some alcohol game somewhere with other teenagersโEvan and Pandora were playing with her camera, taking a lot of random photos. Pandora was the best photographer, and Evan was the biggest fan of her work.
So Vivien was with Cassie, who didn't have much luck finding some fun. She was picky with all the girls, judging them based on their outfitsโmismatched colours, too short dresses [or worseโtoo long], slippery straps that needed constant fixing.
The music thudded in Vivien's head. She was as high as never but she heard Cassie perfectly the whole time judging and complaining.
"If his goal is to upset me, then it works wonders, because I in fact am."
"Please. He has no interest in any girl other than you, Vi."
"How come everyone keeps repeating it for him to be interested in another girl?"
Dorcas smiled friendly, domesticating Vivien's wild spirit.
"Vi, I'm telling you he's not interested. If he was, would he keep looking back at you? Felicity stands in front of him with her boobs out, and he all gazes atโis you sitting on the armchair like a sad puppy looking for attention. You look too hot to be doing that. You don't need to look for Regulus' attentionโyou've already got it, Vi. Even before you liked it, you had it. If Reg wants to act up, outdo him and act out to make him stressed."
Vivien tilted her, her nose crinkling her nose cutely.
"I hate how you always have the solution to the problems. Maybe I just want to be upset."
"Aren't you friends with Zahara? Like the one that is always right?"
"I can't imagine how you two interact, because it's either the most boring thing to have a copy of yourself or the chillest situation to have someone flow in the same exact way as you do."
"Usually, we spent the whole patrol patting each other on the shoulder for how great we are after agreeing with one another on something or more so on everything."
Vivien laughed, causing Cassie to grin. She looks around.
"By the way, where is she? I didn't see her today."
Vivien's giggle died out, "Oh, her family takes her out of Hogwarts to go home for a few days around All Saints Day."
"Right, they're Christians."
"Very." Vivien emphasised.
Two girls looked at each other but it wasn't uncomfortable. They were smiling.
"Now it's your timeโgo and outshine your little star." Dorcas encouraged Vivien to do something about Regulus clowning somewhere with Felicity Thimblewick and her friend.
Vivien sighed, stretching her legs out and standing up. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. How to act out for Regulus to make him stressed. She slowly dragged her feet around, gazing and looking for a hint. She was looking for someone who would piss off Regulus. Maybe it was a bad idea but Vivien needed exactly one of those to have him react.
Her eyes landed on a few Slytherin boys propping up the wall like it was about to collapse. They were studying all the girls they saw, sometimes teasing from afar with a wink of an eye or eyebrows wiggling. One girl passed those boys, swinging her hips, and Mulciber quickly followed her into the crowd.
Vivien knew that Amycus and Cecil both had their eyes on herโher body and temper, to be honestโand she knew it was not pure like the feelings that Regulus had. Avery and Mulciber had the status of playboys among pure-blood girls. Amycus was more of a still water run deep type but neither Avery or Carrow was up to any good. They were up to some evil shite.
Vi's bad decision-making skills spoke out and she approached them. When she did, both of them looked her up and down, paying special attention to her cleavage. Avery whistled playfully.
Snape only spared her glance, soon looking away, staying silent.
"Well, well, well. Who's that?" Carrow crossed his arms over his chest.
Vivien smiled shyly, for a split second, forgetting who was cheering her on.
"Did you get lost, foxy? Do you want me to point you in the direction of Black?" Avery looked somewhere behind her and then both boys understood why she wandered to them.
"Oh, that's why you're here, aren't you? Black forgot his manner." Carrow mused, amused.
"I actually wonder if any of you remembered yours. It's not polite of gentlemen to let a lady be lonely like this." Vivien played into that fake courtesy.
"I see." Amycus straightened up before Cecil could. "Do you want to dance, m'lady?"
Vivien made the same big doe eyes Thimblewick was doing at Regulusโthe frivolous, flirtatious eyes that made boys less toughโeasier. She smiled softly, nodding her head.
"I would appreciate that."
Amycus smirked and he gently placed his hand on Vivien's back. He walked her into the crowd of students, when they were being observed.
Alecto rolled her eyes at her twin brother's stupidity as she sat on the couch gossiping with her girl friends. She would never understand why boys were falling to Beauchรชne's feet.
Cassie's lips rolled into her mouth. She didnโt suspect that was who Vivien would go to make Regulus react. She forgot Vivien was not sober since she wasn't smelling drunk-ishโshe was high-ish.
Dorcas looked over to Regulus, who straightened from the table. He wasn't clowning with Felicity anymore for what itโs worth. He seemed territorial after seeing Amycus Carrow's hands on Vivien's body, even before they began dancing. Felicityโs hopeful spark was snuffed out. Regulus absolutely lost interest in conversation with her and her friend after Vivien didn't spare him a single glance from the dance floor. They followed his eyes, exactly looking at what he was looking at.
Vi was moving slowly and as sensually as she could. From the corners of her eyes, she saw Pandora and Evan, who weren't clicking photos anymore. Evan scratched his brow but Pandora grabbed him by his hand and dragged him away to not stare at what the fuck Vivien was doing.
Vivien hated Amycus but he was tolerable with his mouth shut or only opened to say something silly. He wasn't possessive or aggressive with his hands, clenching her. He was quite respectful. Maybe it was one of the very few good things that pure-blood boys learned at homeโto respect girls' personal space.
"So, Vivien, what exactly do you want me to do?" He asked with his front closely to her back, their bodies separated by only mere inches. "Tell me, and I will."
She leaned into him. He lowered to her height so she wouldn't have to stand on her toes.
Vi smiled, whispering into his ear. "I want you to go lower."
When she pulled away, she bit her bottom lip. She nodded her head, faking some steam between them to make sure Regulus saw it, wherever he was. Amycus smiled, leaning towards her ear.
He murmured, "If I was Regulus, I wouldn't take my hands off of you."
Vivien felt his touch slowly move from her waist lower. They were glancing at each other over her shoulder.
Vi bit her bottom lip friskily but nothing happened as Amycus moved his hands. Vi was quite disappointed. Still, she didn't tell him to quit. The game Regulus played worked two ways. Vivien felt Amycus' hands slip down to her hips, and they were about to go lower but she felt another pair of hands on her body. These hands pushed Amycus' until they were completely off of Vi's body.
"Carrow, keep your hands to yourself." Regulus said, bringing Vi into his chest. Her chest hit his. Again, he used his strength for her own good.
"Beauchรชne actually asked for them to be on her." Amycus' lips twisted smugly.
"Did she?"
Vivien felt how Black locked his hands on her waist. She pushed herself from him and crossed her arms over her chest. He was intentionally challenging her with his touch on her body, thinking she would play into his ego to show Carrow who she really was into.
"Yes, I did." Vivien objected, fussy about Black's scepticism and confidence that he was the only boy she wanted to touch her. Maybe I do! But he and his ego doesn't need to go higher than it already is!
"I'll leave you both to it." Amycus raised his hands in the air as a sign of innocence, smirking. But before he disappeared, he winked at Vi.
She smiled sweetly at him, fluttering her long eyelashes.
She did that with Regulus' hands still on her hips. He saw everything! He scoffed. Vivien scoffed back and yanked her hips out of his hold, taking a step away. It's literally what he wanted her to doโmisbehave like the bad girl she was.
"What the hell, Vi?"
"What?" She asked, insulted.
"Do you know he wants to fuck you?"
"Oh, does he?" Vivien pretended to look after Carrow.
Regulus rolled his eyes, and she shot him a glare.
"So does Thimblewick with you." She accused him, pointing her finger at him.
"But I didn't touch her."
"Well, I didn't touch him. He touched meโlike she has touched you."
Black blinked, his mouth opened and closed. That was clever of her. He couldn't argue with that. Vivien smirked sarcastically before she pushed past him, swinging her hips gracefully for his eyes to follow. Who's a sad puppy now?
She pushed her way through the other teenagers, coming up to the table with snacks and sweets to get some grapefruit soda since Regulus returned to her empty-handed. On the edge of the table was sitting Marlene, swinging her feet and drinking some alcohol from her glass. They glanced at each other before Vivien began ignoring her like usual. She was looking between bottles of different sodas, picking them up and putting them down, looking for a citrus taste.
Suddenly McKinnon snorted outโsilently but ironically, causing an unease to overcome Vivien. She glanced at her.
"I fucking see how it is. You want me to struggle alone for one stupid mistake, Vivienโbut Amycus Carrow and Cecil Avery get a blind eye from you?" Her tone was thick with mockery.
"Excuse me?" Vivien raised her eyebrows. She could tell Marlene was drunk because she smelled like vodka and seemed slurry.
"You pile shite on me, James, Sirius, and others for one stupid mistake, waiting for us to kiss up to your ass on our knees begging for your forgiveness, but you don't even bat an eye at two bigoted purist pricks that bullied and laughed at you."
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows.
Yes, Marlene was right about Avery and Carrow. Vivien would admit that she was in the wrong for associating herself with them for even those few minutes as well as that it could not reflect well on the person she was.
Vivien didn't think that decision through. She just acted outโin a very distasteful way. She would cringe at herself if it wasnโt Marlene staring at her so judgmentally.
Vivien crossed her arms over her chest and turned to her with a venomous chuckle.
McKinnon had no right to sit there and quietly judge her.
"They never lied to me about being my friends. They don't even lie to themselves and tell themselves they're good people." She ridiculed. "They know they're evil and when they look into the mirror, they look into it with a clear conscience, knowing they didn't fool anyone about being their friends. They are at least self-aware."
Marlene had no right to be the furious one. She had no right to blame Vivien, when she was not even a victim of that situation!
"Oh, Merlin forbid anyone knows you fucked Regulus Black." Marlene laughed to herself and it irked Vivien.
It was disappointing to see someone, who hurt her, not care about the damage they had done.
Vivien felt her stomach flip and flop. Marlene just laughed at her.
Vivien tightened her fists, digging her fingernails into her hands.
"Oh, Merlin forbid anyone holds you accountable for being a dumb fucking bitch." It wasn't the most eloquent thing Vivien ever stated, but she was proud of that statement.
Marlene's hair turned reddish after Vivien called her name.
Still, Vivien proceeded to point her finger at her.
"I'm not surprised you can't grasp the concept of why I am angry at you since you're too stupid to use your brain. Just because something shitty happened to you doesn't mean you can shield yourself with it whenever you do something fucked up, Marlene. Maybe put that glass down before you lose the rest of your thinking skills."
McKinnon's eyes twitched, storming Vivien with a glare. She hopped up to her feet, stumbling with that glass in her hand, to stand in front of Vivien.
"I guess you would know something about that from home, wouldn't you?" She took another gulp of her drink, careless. "Is that why you got sold to the Blacks? Your mama finally lost the rest of her thinking skills?" She slurred out her questions, looking all over her judgingly. "You got sold like some whore to little Black and you have been fucking around with him since the year began but you want me to be held accountable for people knowing you fuck with him? It's not like you're trying to be discreet! Go on and close your legs then. Yes, you were turned into a silly joke, which by the way, was not the first time. So what? Who fucking cares? Sooner or later, the truth would come out! Everyone would find out you two fucked anyway, you fucking idiot!"
They were in competition to see who would punch lower.
Marlene wasn't getting it. Vivien's blood was boiling alive in her veins. It was so hot in the room, and she was heating up. She clenched her jaw, gritted her teeth, and nodded her head.
"Well, we fucked and none found out." She spat out into McKinnon's face, separated by inches, close to ripping each other's throats apart.
Vivien knew it was low to mention Marlene's grief and her secret sexuality, but McKinnon hadn't any mercy, rubbing salt in her wounds.
"I fucking hate you, Vivien." McKinnon hissed, her features twisting.
"That's new. It didn't feel like it when you were moaning my name and pleading for me to keep going." Vivien snorted, disregarding McKinnon and her fiery hair.
Marlene smirked, matching her attitude and her hand locked stronger on her glass.
"I went for what was available at that moment. A few nice words to have you open your legs with no effort."
Vivien stabbed Marlene in the shoulder with a sharp nail.
"Wasn't that the other way around? Didn't I part your legs? Humble yourself. You didn't open anything. I felt bad at the thought of rejecting you. Because that's what friends do but you wouldn't know a fucking thing about it. I didn't want you to feel pathetic, but you know what? That's what you areโpathetic. If Kai was still here, I doubt that he would be proud of you."
Vivien smirked poisonously.
Her eyes closed the second Marlene splashed the rest of her drink at her. And then they truly gathered the attention of other teenagers. They were fighting, muffled by the music the whole time, but that action caught eyes.
"That seems like the story of your life! Everyone's here, and not a single person is proud of you, Vivien! Although it's not surprising!" McKinnon chuckled.
Vivien opened her eyes to see her putting down that glass finally. She slipped by her, elbowing her. At that point, Vivien had no fuck to give. She turned after her and grabbed her wrist.
Marlene stopped in her steps to look at Vivien. When she did, Vivien smacked her. Through music, they heard shocked screams. Marlene lost her balance, stumbling and dropping to the floor.
Nonetheless, Vivien was ready to attack her again, standing over her until someone snatched her by her waist a few steps away.
"I don't give a shite whether you hate me or not! Only one of us has zero friends and maybe that should tell you something, Marlene!"
Vivien fought Regulus' arms, trying to beat the shite out for Marlene, who was surrounded with Dorcas and Evan crouching in front of her, examining her.
"Vi, stop fighting! She's pissed!"
"Some things never change! Drunk, lonely, and she still thinks she's entitled to opinion, even when there's none to listen to her."
"Fuck you, herbie!"
"Shut the fuck up both of you!" Dorcas yelled, helping drunk McKinnon stand up with Evan holding her.
Vivien was aware that she and Marlene McKinnon weren't degrading each other anymore. They were degrading themselves. That's how deep their hatred ran in that moment. They were ready to humiliate themselves to have the slightest chance to hurt one another.
She was giving up on struggling against Regulus as she felt how sweaty she was. Pandora stopped in front of her to block out drunk Marlene from her sight.
"Vivi, calm down." She said brushing the loose strands of her hair behind her ears away from her sweaty forehead and wet face. "Calm down, please. You're high. Maybe too high." She whispered, trying to soothe her.
Vivien was flaring through her nose out of adrenaline like a dragon. She dropped her head against Regulus' shoulder. She saw him lifting his brows, feeling how she had given up.
"I'm high." She giggled outโbut it was desperate like she was crying out.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus locked themselves in the bathroom after Dorcas and Evan took Marlene to the Ravenclaw Tower with Emmeline leading to help them enter the common room and find the right dormitory.
Vivien sat on the closed toilet and Regulus was wiping her face with paper towels, crouching down in front of her.
Pandora went on a search for something to eat for Vivien after her stomach growled.
"What were you thinking, Vi? McKinnon was dead gone." He murmured in disapproval.
Vivien opened her eyes, so he could see how she rolled them.
"Since it excuses all of her actionsโI'm not sober either. Why doesn't it excuse mine?"
Regulus pressed his lips into a thin line.
Vivien was done and he could assume it was not easy to be friends with Marlene in the last semesters because she probably spent most of it like thatโbadly drunk.
"I get it. I really fucking get it like none else. What happened to Kai was unfair, and there's nothing that will ever make up for his death. I don't mean for Marls to get over that but I mean it doesn't give her a right to be a horrible friendโperson. I wasn't perfect but I tried my best to be for her." She claimed, and in that light, Regulus saw how huge her pupils were and how reddish her eyes were.
She was madly tapping her feet.
He listened to her, stretching out towards the faucet to wet another paper towel.
"Do you know where the fuck she was when I needed her to be there for me? Behind the fucking wall! Literally. If we fucked in that corridor, would she still stand there giggling and shite?"
Regulus looked at Vi and her dilated pupils. He didn't mean to belittle her but he asked, "Vi, how much did you smoke?"
"Not enough for that shite." Vivien tilted her head. She smiled sweetly, poking him at the tip of his nose.
Regulus let her, looking down at her body.
"Could you move your hair to the back?"
"Why? Are they covering the view?" She asked playfully.
He glanced up at her face and back at her cleavage, not impressed with the remark.
"I want to wipe off the drink."
"Why wipe it off when you could lick it off?" Vivien appeared to be back in a good mood effortlessly.
Maybe the good highness was getting to her and she became flirty without even trying to hide her horniness from Regulus. Why would I? I'm horny for him!
Regulus prayed all the gods would stop testing him like that. He wasn't bad drunk but he was good drunk, and it took him strenuous efforts to keep his mind straight and act rational, especially with Vi teasing him, only them two in that small bathroom.
"Regulus, I want you to lick my tits, my neck, and then every other body part of mine you dream of tasting." Vi leaned to his ear to whisper so many dirty words, her lips stroking its edge, her voice was low, slow, and promising.
His knees were too weak for him to stand his ground. Vi pushed him on his shoulders easily, and he landed on his bum for Vi to fall onto his crotch, not wasting time.
Regulus laid his hands on her hips as she was gazing into his eyes. She was asking Regulus if he had something against her on top of him. As an answer, he crushed his lips on hers. Their lips moved, dancing together to the same rhythm. Vi hammered herself into Regulus' crotch in search of some friction between her legs.
It felt like the only one listening to his prayers was Satan.
"Merde," She tore away from the kiss.
The young couple gazed at each other, Vivien holding Regulus by his chin. "I wish we could stay in bed till our last day, forgetting about all this shite. About Marlene, about your family, about my motherโabout all those shitty people behind this door, and this silly engagement. Just us two naked, alone in bed and forever aroused." She whispered, and Regulus felt her hot lavender breath embrace his skin.
It was very naughty words that Vi spoke and it caused the flapping of butterflies' wings in Regulus' chest.
"Yeah. Just doing what we like the most." He smirked.
Vivien grinned widely, nodding her head.
"Which is each other."
"Exactly." His smirk grew. Bantering with Vi was exciting but having her think the same thing in that tiny bathroom was even more exciting.
She rested her forehead against his and she felt his hands sneak under her dress. She felt how his right hand confidently travelled up her inner thigh and she loosened her muscles from the pressing herself on his crotch.
Regulus was the devil in an angel's disguise. She felt how her hand travelled to the last stopโher panties. She tilted her hips at the right angle to give him more space to do whatever he wanted to do with her.
Regulus grinned wider, his hand resting on her pubis. He felt her shift in her position, very interested in whatever he intended to do.
"Oh, we liked being touched now?"
Vivien was about to nod, and Regulus was about to stroke her through the material of her panites, but the door of the bathroom opened. Their heads snapped in the direction of Pandora and Sybill who stood at the entrance. The sight they saw petrified them as if they looked into Basilisk's eyes.
The only thing hiding what was happening under Vivien's dress was Regulus between her legs and with his hands dug somewhere under it...! Someone behind two girls howled, and Vivien sloppily stood up from Regulus, obviously unhappy. Seeing Regulus' trousers intact, Pandora and Sybill decided to enter the bathroom with food in their hands.
Vivien plopped on the toilet.
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ย ย ย ย ย Marlene had a point. Everyone already knew Vivien had sex with Regulus, so she decided to make it crystal clear that it was only her who made love with him. Regulus was too drunk to put an end to how Vi straddled his laps and gave him hickeys, when he was relaxing on the couch too blissful under the touch of her lips.
He laid the back of his head on top of the backrest, Vi tattooing him. She devoured him and he was devouring the pleasant feeling of her full warm lips on his skin. It was like Vi wanted to confirm that she was the vampire that bit Regulus' neck back in May.
She wanted to confirm she was the only person who knew how to treat him properly!
It could be eleven at night or three in the morning and Vi wouldn't tell. She didn't know how much time had passed since she arrived at the party. Her head was registering everything at a slowed-down speed. Her brain was getting stuck like some old machinery, causing more than a few blackouts in her memory. Maybe she did overdo herself with smoking the herbs. It was safe when she was on top of Regulus. She felt his hand resting on her hips, making sure she would not slide down his legs.
Vivien pulled away to contemplate the art she painted on Black's skin. She smiled, satisfied. She drew her fingers on the canvas that Regulus was for her mouth. He raised his head to gaze at the little artist, who was smiling innocently.
"Now, you're fixed!" She announced.
"Now, I'm fixed." Regulus wasn't sure what she meant, but he still agreed with her.
She smiled and kissed him, even more satisfied.
"You were not dressed for the Halloween party, so I dressed you into my muse." Vi mumbled out, parting away like she was aware Regulus didn't know what she meant and just agreed to get some praise like this kiss that she gave him anyway.
"What are you talking about? I was dressed for the Halloween party." Regulus straightened.
"As what?" Vivien tilted her head, truly intrigued.
"Your favourite boy-toy." He smirked.
But the young witch furrowed her brows together, taking a good look at his jumper and the trousers she sat on.
"Edgar wouldn't wear green like this. Too dark."
Regulus frowned fussily after Vi provoked him to prove her otherwise.
"Oh, is that who your favourite boy is?" He asked, closing the space between them. "Your favourite lover?" He murmured for only them to hear, his lips skimming past hers as he spoke.
Vivien felt two hands on her back hold her securely, making sure she wouldn't fall down. She pushed Regulus against the backrest, her own hands on his chest. Her skin recognised the textured fabric of his jumper. It was woolโmost of his jumpers were not so roughโthey were cottonโbut not this one.
Vivien smirked against Regulus' lips, rubbing her fingertips on his chest. Black had the same idea as her. With her eyes she didn't recognise the jumper that he was wearing during the time she had stolen his virginity, but with hands she knew it instantly.
Vi blushed at the idea itself, parting from the kiss. Regulus smiled, realising he shied her after she figured out what he had on.
"I bet Barty has the time of his life watching us somewhere, rubbing his hands maliciously." She changed the subject, her hands slipping to his tummy.
"Indeed, I do."
Vivien jumped, scared out.
Barty smirked. He had been sitting on the other half of the couch the whole time Vivien had been playing Regulus. In fact, it was these two who joined him with Sybie and Rora. Two girls sat on the opposite sofa, while Emmeline and Evan sat in the armchairs after they returned from the Ravenclaw tower.
Dorcas stayed with drunk Marlene to make sure she wouldn't choke on her puke in her sleep.
They all sat in the little boxroom that they had since the start of the party, completely ignoring how Vi and Regulus were all over each other in one of the corners. As long as clothes were on, no one minded them. Especially Barty who was smirking, approving of everything they were doing. Vi looked at him, astonished like he had just appeared out of thin air.
"Hi!" She exclaimed, reaching for him.
Everyone thought she wanted to welcomingly hug Barty, who had been missing for light years in her mind.
"H-" Amused, Barty leaned forward with open arms for her, but she smashed her mouth on his instead.
And everyone's jaws slammed on the floor. Vi's lips were moving against Barty's. Vi kissed Barty, and Regulus' eye twitched. He blinked. When his eyes opened, Vi was still kissing Barty.
And Barty was stupifiedโunmoved.
Vivien sat on top of Regulus, kissing his mate. She looked as hot as a good kisser she was and Regulus didn't like that anyone else discovered the true magic of those pink lips. But no one told him how he was supposed to react in a situation like this and he tugged at the hem of Vivien's dress like an impatient child. She separated from Barty and smiled at Regulus.
"Oh, hi."
And she wanted to kiss Regulus. He didn't let her kiss him, and she seemed insulted by that. She folded her arms over her chest. Black was startled.
Was he that drunkโhallucinating, or was Vivien that highโblacking out?
For the first time in his life, Barty was speechless. He backed into his seat, the rest of his friends observing him.
After all, the idiot smirked anyway.
Vi tried to kiss Regulus one more time and he turned his cheek towards her once more.
"Regulus!" She whined.
"No. You kissed Barty. That was rude, Vi." Vivien was bewildered. Have I kissed Barty? When? Oh. Maybe I did?
"In that case, kiss him too then." She spoke her truth, causing everyone to crack.
They almost heard the rustling wind that was going through her head. Truly an airhead. No planning, just impulses. That definitely was a solution coming from someone high. Too bad Regulus was drunk!
"What?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Kiss Barty so we can move on from him."
"Did she forget I'm sitting here?"
Vivien rolled her eyes at Barty. There he is!, he was sitting on the sofa spread out the whole time...!
Barty was a slag for a good snogging sessionโhis own words, that Vivien remembered. He didn't act hard to get. She just gesticulated for him to move closer with her finger and he did. He squinted his eyes at the young couple, intrigued by what Vi would do.
She simply placed her hands on the napes of both boys' necks, encouraging them to do their part. She wasn't pushyโshe was softly playing with their hairs on the napes of their necks, waiting for their moves.
Still, they were like two dolls in her hands.
Emmeline reached for the bottle on the small table waiting for their next moves too. In the meantime, Evan shifted in the armchair, trying his best not to look. Pandora and Sybill exchanged glances, wondering if someone would stop Vivien from creating chaos, while they were openly observing the trio.
Vivien was doing nothing and a lot at the same time.
Barty and Regulus went in for that kiss without another word and it seemed she didn't like what she saw.
Vi didn't enjoy Regulus kissing another person! She wanted to be the only one kissing him! Barty's lips moved against Regulus', and her hand dropped down from his broad shoulder and stayed on his chest as a warning. Still, he grasped Regulusโ cheek to cup it.
The somewhat sober part of Regulus told him to do everything to make Vi regret the suggestion she made. Maybe there was no sober part of him presentโฆ
Vivien saw Black open his lips, inviting Barty's tongue inside! It was too muchโshe pushed Barty on the chest away from Black. She looked at him resentful, her eyes narrowed. She was wearing on her face that fussiness she had half of the time on when sober. She didn't need to say anything to let him know she was not happy.
Regulus lifted his brows. It was like a scene between kidsโBarty took away Vivien's precious doll and mistreated it.
Staring at Barty, Vi kissed Regulus obscenely, like she was showing him how to kiss Regulus correctly, her strokes slow and deep.
Barty chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief before he disappeared out of Vi's bubble she had with Regulus. And Black let her kiss him once she knew that bitter taste.
Chapter 28: lovesick
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vi woke, covered by Regulus. They lay under the duvet. She smiled.
Regulus was using her as his pillow. His head lay against her neck, and his arms were wrapped around her like a dressing robe. She dug out her hand and put it in his curls, brushing them. It was still half dark. Twilight. She didn't really remember most of the things that had happened. She remembered she was kissing Regulus, then kissing Barty, then Regulus and Barty were kissing, then she was kissing Regulus again.
Suspicious.
What happened after that?
She remembered giggling with Regulus, stumbling into things and making out on their way to Vi's dormitory. Regulus was kissing all over her neck and cleavage, once they were out of the spotlight. They even tripped on the stairs and laughed, clumsily collecting themselves. Vivien imagined Regulus would have a big bruise on his small bum.
Did we take a shower?
They surely talked about it, and Vivien remembered going into the bathroom, but she didn't remember if they actually got into the bathtub for it. She remembered they laid on the bed naked, freezing after the girls had forgotten to close one of the windows.
Vivien didn't remember what exactly they did or talked about but she remembered they were bantering as Regulus was resting between her legs, drawing his fingers on her swollen belly that heralded her bleeding days.
Vi was recalling her memories to make something out of the last night she had until she heard snores coming from Rora's bed. Snores? Pandora sleeps like a dead person. She isn't a snorer!
Vivien looked around. She was in her dorm, correct. But it was Evan snoring in Pandora's bed! He was there with Barty. Evan was facing her and Barty was spooning him as a small spoon, when they both were so huge. It was a hilarious sight: one big boy spooning another big boy.
Vivien would laugh if the only clothes she had on weren't Regulus! She and Regulus were hidden under the duvet, their bare legs tangled together. Vivien tensed. She had no way out from not being naked in the room with her dormmates and boy-friends, Regulus laying on top of her, wearing only his boxers as she was only in her panties.
Vivien faced the ceiling, drilling her toes into the mattress. She was so stupid. She fell asleep naked in the room she shared with three other girls and she had a naked boy on top of her. They all had to think she was a whore!
What if they saw how whorish I am?! What if they saw my whorish body?! It occurred to Vi that just because Regulus was covering her now didn't mean he was covering her the whole night as their friends entered the dormitory... Did they see me? Did they see my body?
What if they saw Vivien's ugly breasts?! Whatever she and Regulus did was foolish! She deserved that laugh her friends probably had seeing her naked, especially with how little she had to show! They saw me naked! They had to!
Emmeline, Sybill, Evan, Barty, and Pandora all saw Vivien bare and ugly! They saw her and Regulus and thought about how he could do better than the body she was!
Vivien took a shaky breath, trying her best to not push Regulus off of her and run into the toilet, where she would hide in the darkest corner and stay forever! Her eyes were teary, her throat and stomach tight, a bile on her tongue. She felt claustrophobic.
Vi thought so loudly that Regulus heard her thoughts in his sleep. He opened his eyes. The first view he saw was Evan and Barty lying in Pandora's bed. Evan was snoring, but Barty seemed to hear Vivien's silent sobs too. He blinked, adapting his sleepy eyes to the dark surrounding.
Regulus tilted his head, looking up at Vivien. She gazed down at him with her swollen face from sleep that was laced now with soft red.
"Shhh. It's all fine, Vi. Shhhhh." He tried to soothe her silently, caressing her waist. "What's wrong?"
"I want to put my clothes on." She wept out, the corners of her lips fallen.
Regulus didn't even realise they were only wearing their undergarments but it hit him like a bludger that they fell asleep as an aftercare from an act they didn't have that night. Unfortunately, they were too tired and too out of their minds to figure that if they wouldn't put something back on the moment they decided to not make love, they wouldn't put on anything later. This poor little thing had to be so uncomfortable with two teenage boys in bed beside hers.
Regulus got up from the bed, careful with Vivien and her bare body. Without any care about his own nudity, he reached for a blanket on the floor. Vi sat up, clutching the duvet to her chest and Regulus threw the blanket over her shoulders. He helped her wrap herself into it like a cocoon, turning her into a pupa. She got out of the bed and went to the bathroom, only her head and feet sticking out. She was sobbing, her face lowered. It was a so-called walk of shame but it wasn't fun or humbling. It was humiliating to her.
Regulus looked at her until she disappeared inside the bathroom. Then he looked between Barty, Sybill, Pandora, and Dorcas, whom Vi's silent cries for help. Regulus slightly shook his head for them to not react. He put his jumper on and collected some clothes for Vi.
At the bathroom door he knocked. After a second of silence, he lurked inside the bathroom. Vi sat on a toilet, still tightly wrapped in the blanket, sobbing. Regulus softened. She faced him with her little crying face.
"I look like a caterpillar." She joked through her runny nose, sour tears, and dry voice.
Regulus smiled sadly, and the clothes he held dropped to the floor. He nodded, coming closer to her.
"A very cute caterpillar." He kneeled down in front of her, lying his hands on her cheeks to caress it. "What happened, Vi?"
She tightened her lips into a line. She shrugged her shoulders.
"That's not the answer." Regulus said with his gentle tone, titling his head.
Vivien looked away, frustrated and confused with herself
"I just-" She rolled her eyes. "I just don't want our friends to think I'm that type of person. Of a girl."
"What kind of a girl?" Black raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to elaborate.
She sighed, "Shameless. As if I have nothing to be embarrassed about."
"You mean your body?"
"I mean showing my body like that." She chuckled dryly. "Showing off my-my-" She couldn't say it.
"Your breasts?" He specified and she nodded her head.
Regulus could tell she was very insecure about them from the very first time they got intimately close.
Regulus straightened, and Vivien looked up at him. He collected her clothes from the tiles and offered them to her.
Vivien observed her favourite jumper that Regulus had given her and some random pyjama bottoms. Before Vivien dressed, she asked Regulus to turn around. When he faced her a minute later, she was watching her reflection in the mirror from a distance, and he realised she probably watched her body dressing.
He came closer, standing behind her. Hesitantly, he rested his chin on her shoulders. Vivien took his hands into hers and hugged herself. He locked them around her for good.
"I wish I was like you, Regulus." She murmured, the stains on her bronzed, burnished cheeks.
Vivien felt her eyelashes to be stiff, thickened with her tears.
"All pretty." She whispered to Regulus.
"You are." Regulus whispered back.
He hadnโt felt self-conscious in that room. Was it something he would normally do? No. But was it a wrecking experience for him? Also no. He felt secure wearing only his boxers, because the most beautiful girl in the world thought he was pretty. That's what mattered.
"I am not." Vivien murmured in disagreement and his bubble bursted out.
"I think you are."
"You have to think that."
"What do you mean, I have to?"
"Being my lover obligates you to worship me." Vivien bit on her soft smile.
Regulus smirked, leaving a ghost of a kiss on her cheek.
"I worshipped you before you even knew my name, and I knew yours." His breath lingered like an echo. "Vi, I doubt anyone saw anything. And if they did, they looked away."
"Or stared and laughed."
"Why would any of them laugh?"
"Because of how ugly I am."
"Everyone inside and outside this bathroom loves tits. Vi, why do you think you have ugly chest? How can it even ugly?" Regulus snorted desperately. It was absurd to him!
Vivien rolled her eyes. It's such a boyish question!
"They can be two different sizes or-or face sideways. Or even worseโdo both." She murmured like a mouse behind breasts.
"You think that's what your tits do?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
"They do!"
Regulus didn't even see her chest like thatโeverythingโthe smallest detailโwas what made them so, so perfect.
"Let me rephrase it. Do you think that makes your titties look ugly?"
"They are asymmetrical, stupid, and silly." She rolled her eyes.
"Are they?" Regulus cracked quietly. "Can they tell me a joke then?" He playfully started pulling her jumper up, exposing her bellyโand soon her chest.
"No, please, don't. I don't want to see them again." Vivien tried pulling the jumper back down weakly before she could see herself.
Regulus could tell she was truly not wanting thatโbut she was giving up against his strength. He stopped playing, realising he might hurt her.
He smiled sadly.
"Vi, bodies aren't meant to be symmetricalโnot that this makes them any less beautiful. Your body is beautiful, your chest is beautiful, and you are beautiful. What you think makes your chest ugly actually makes it perfect. That's how Mother Nature created you, didn't she? There's only one wrong way to have a body, and it's by not accepting how it was created."
Vivien felt touched at her heart, realising how Regulus listened to her.
She knew he tried to convince her to throw away all of her insecurities like that, but he made her melt against his warmth. It wasn't that easy to accept and embrace that body but it wasn't so lonely and frightening in those mental catacombs as she had someone to walk with through that dark place.
Vivien softened. She turned around.
Without a word, she hugged Regulus.
"I hate you." She mumbled out against his shoulder, melting into him.
"No, you don't." Regulus responded softly, smiling gently, knowing that this wasnโt the truth after all.
She grinned widely, her hands tracing along the lines of his back towards his little bum that she squeezed.
"Indeed, I don't."
Regulus rolled his eyes when Vi looked up at him, smug enough to squeeze his arse again, gazing deeply into his eyes.
Not minding it, but needing to keep his face, he sighed theatrically, "Are you ready to go back?"
Vi nodded her head.
"Alright." Without a warning, he grasped her arse too, pushing her up. Vi hopped up on him, positively surprised. She folded her legs around his waist, enjoying that type of transport.
Vivien rested her arms around Regulus' neck and he held her, only letting go for a split second with one of his hands to open the bathroom door. Effortlessly, he carried her to the bed like she was feather-light.
Their friends observed them, Vi acting like a child in Regulusโ arms. None of the two bragged about their childhood, but it wasn't a secret that neither of them had it nice despite their families' prosperity.
Vivien saw that in Sybill's bed, Rora and Cassie rested, looking to be freshly woken.
She waved her hand softly.
In the meantime, Sybie and Emma were snuggling together in their sleep in Emmelineโs bed.
When Regulus paused at the bedside, he separated a little from Vi. He tipped his head at the mattress as a sign for her to get down. She looked at the mattress and back at him. She shook her head.
Regulus lowered his eyebrows. What the fuck did she mean by no?
Arseclown and Vivien began nonverbally arguing back and forth, using head movements.
Finally he groaned soundlessly, his head dropping.
Vi smiled, smashed on the mattress with Regulus on top of her.
"Happy?"
She nodded her head, very enthusiastic.
Regulus rolled his eyes and they landed on the wall behind Vivien's bed.
He noticed a picture from Eden that he had tooโthe only difference from his own was that everyone was wearing purple. But it wasn't what caught his eyes. Above it, there was another picture put up.
It was a sketch, only coloured at the centre. Two boysโone older than the otherโlaid hugged together. Regulus recognised the details of his bedroom and he recognised himself and Eden.
Vivien tilted her head to the back, where Regulus' eyes were so focused on the pictures hanging there. She bit her bottom lip, butchering it with her teeth. When she and Regulus gazed back at each other, she was nervous. But he leaned down to poke her nose with his, grinning. Vivien smiled shyly, tangling her fingers in his curls to pull him even closer.
Barty saw the lovely scene that the young couple shared, and he chose to give them a minute, their lips smacking subtly but loud enough in a room stilled with sleep. He intended to remark,
"Get a room, you two..." But Em mumbled it out first. She turned towards Sybill, grumbling, her voice faint.
She was still half asleep.
"Sorry." Bibie mouthed.
Vivien realised her friends weren't as sleeping as she assumed they were. She felt mousy.
Regulus gave blushing Vivien a small kiss on her bloody lips and he laid down her. He thought he would spoon her but he couldn't be more wrong as Vivien spooned him.
She tightened around him to cause him that heat stroke after she threw a duvet over them. And he couldn't complain about it, her plush lips soft against his temple, breathing her kiss like a secret.
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ย ย ย ย Vivien woke to Regulus softly snorting. She was knotted around him. She woke to hear all of her friends laugh and some insecure part of her thought, are they laughing at me? She squeezed Regulus gently, snuggling to him.
"Oh, sleeping beauty is awake."
"Yh-ym." She hummed.
Vivien felt how under the duvet he was grasping one of her thighs, drawing on it through her pyjama bottom fabric.
"Oh, hi sleepyhead." She heard Cassie. From her tone, she could tell she was smiling.
It seemed everyone woke in a good mood. She looked over her shoulder at Pandoraโs bed to see Barty with his arms under his head. Evan waved his hand, lying with his head in a pillow on the opposite end of the mattress. Somewhere behind lay Em, who had Bibie hugged to her side. Both awake too.
"Hiii little fox." Emmeline said with a wide toothy grin.
Sybill smiled warmly.
Lastly, Aurora and Cas sat on the bed. Dorcas was brushing Pandoraโs long hair delicately to help her untangle it.
But at that moment, Dorcas winked at Vivien. Pandora's nose scrunched cutely and she beamed brightly.
"Hy-iii," Vivien yawned, her features soft with sleep.
Regulus shifted, turning around to face her.
"Hi."
She gazed at him, studying his innocent face. He kissed her delicately, and she smiled against his lips. When they broke apart, Vivien cuddled into him.
"You kissed Barty." She mumbled out of nowhere.
"Please, don't remind him." Evan commented while he was cracking his fingers. Vivien wasn't certain to which one he referred.
Regulus sighed, "Not my proudest moment."
"I kissed Barty too." Vi added quieter.
Everyone chuckled. Not Regulus. Although Vivien didn't look up at him, she could tell he shot a dagger at her for reminding him of that too.
"It's fine. Everyone has to kiss me at some point in their lives." Barty mused nonchalantly.
"True." Cassie agreed as if she knew it from her own experience. She laughed more with Barty, Rora, Sybie, and Emma.
Evan squinted his eyes between them, snapping his head around in all of the directions at once.
When everyone started slowly getting out of beds to go for lunch, Vi and Regulus stayed in bed. They lay, gazing at each other, whispering for only their ears to hear.
"You were very, very bad last night, Vi."
"I'm sorry." Vivien murmured an apology, smiling sadly.
"Why did you kiss Barty? Is it-" Regulus hesitated at the thought he hated, needing an answer to it. "Is it something you wanted to do?"
She immediately shook her head weakly.
"No, no. I think I lost it." Then she chewed on the inside of her mouth, dwelling with herself on something.
She laid her hand on his cheek, stroking it.
"Regulus, have we-have we made love?"
His stomach dropped.
"You don't remember?"
She shook her head again.
"We didn't. I mean, we wanted to, but you got tired and we stopped before we started."
At night, while Regulus was kissing Vivien's naked belly, something that left him sick to his stomach had happened.
Am I boring you?, He had chuckled, raising himself on his elbows from between her legs.
Sorry. I'm a bit tired.
Then we're finished for today.
No, no. It's fine. You can go on., She had assured him.
Vi, you're falling asleep.
Vivien had attempted to make Regulus go onโmake a move, even if she was motionless and defenseless. He didn't understand why. She was too tired to enjoy an act.
Finally she had given up. He laid his head on the pillows next to hers.
But won't it hurt you?
What will hurt me, Vi?
Erection, Nolan. She had mumbled, her eyes already closed.
Regulus felt a puke coming up his throat. She blacked out so much and he was glad that, in time, he sobered to realise what she was doingโintentionally asking him to pursue, so he would 'have his fun'.
Regulus would feel disgusted, if she asked him whether they had made love, and he had to tell her otherwise than he had! When Regulus made love with Vi, he wanted her to remember the tiniest detailโwhere he touched her, how he touched her, how he kissed her, how all of that made her feel.
"We finished, when I was kissing you down your body."
At that, Vivien remembered suggesting a very dirty offer to Regulus in the bathroom during the party.
"When you say down my body, do you mean my pussy?" She asked biting on her lips, flush creeping on her face.
"No, on your belly but I hear the message loud and clear." Regulus smirked, soon becoming serious again, "How much did you smoke yesterday, Vi?" He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.
She could tell he was worried about somethingโabout her for some reason.
"Just a bit."
He quirked an eyebrow, sceptical and in disbelief.
"Aurora," He called out loud. "How much herbs is a bit in Vivien's understanding?"
Pandora looked at everyone, unsure if she should say. "Three."
"Three what?"
"Three blunts."
Pandora and other girls didnโt realise how strong Vivienโs herbs were until they were already smoked out, effects hitting on all of them. They wouldn't guess how strong it was after Vi always seemed so chill after her smoking.
Fine, maybe it was more herbs than just a mere rest!
"It sounds bad but I shared it with them." Vivien protested loudly.
"After you smoke one on your own already." Sybill added.
Vivien had closed the bathroom the previous evening with her herbs and surely had the time of her life bathing.
Regulus felt pitiful, hearing such.
"Vi," He whispered, and Vivien saw his brows soften. "We shared two of those together, and it was a lot."
He wasn't aware of how to reactโhe didn't know what to say. Ambrosie was right! Vivien was not alright.
Regulus moved closer to her, resting their foreheads together against one another.
"You can talk to me. Is something wrong?" He whispered so quietly.
He could tell she had become more sensitive than she normally was. It simply happened in a matter of a few days. She was sad a lot, crying most of the time. It pained him to see her cry, and even more to imagine the times when she was crying and there was no one to hug her.
Vivien felt her chest tighten nervously. She swallowed. It's nothing I didn't go through before... She repeated to herself.
She smiled through her anxiety. "Just tired."
Regulus had heard it before, and now he felt frustrated. Vi tried to keep such important information a secret from him. He wouldn't judge her for being sick! Why was she like that?
Regulus pressed his mouth into a thin line and got out of bed.
But Vi was just too tired to do the same. She wasn't hungry anyway. She could tell Regulus was looking at her, worried. All of her friends were, but she was just too tired to hide that she was tired.
Minutes later, Regulus checked on her.
"Are you sure you're not hungry?" He crouched down by the bed, where she lay curled into a ball with a hand under her cheek. He brushed her hair caringly.
"I am." She mumbled out, her eyes closing on their own, as if she didn't get a wink of sleep at night.
Though autumn had been Vivien's favourite season, every year it was getting harder and harder to get through it and then winter. That year, it felt like the sadness stuck with her throughout the spring and summer too.
Obviously. Vivien had reasons to be sad that whole year.
Regulus kiss was a moonlit dusk, his lips so softly stroking her forehead.
He backed away to Barty and Evan standing at the door with Sybie, Emma, and Rora. Cassie bit her full bottom lip, tying her converse, sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room.
"Go on. I will catch you all later." She looked at the group meaningfully.
Regulus smiled faintly and bowed his head. They all began leaving, and Barty closed the door at last. Vivien watched Dorcas. Once the dorm door closed, she kicked the sneakers off of her feet and approached.
"Hi," She whispered softly, standing by the bed. She looked around at the closed curtain of the two windows that Vivien bed stood between.
Vivien asked Regulus not to open them after the rest opened the curtains of other windows. Vivien barely smiled. She was too tired to respond. But she moved sloppily to make some room for Cassie on the mattress. Cas unsurely laid down and looked at her, and they lay in stilled silence, Vivien avoiding Dorcasโ eyes and her watching it.
"Vivi, you know I have my mom only, right?"
Vivien looked at Dorcas out of the corners of her eyes, stupefied. She furrowed her eyebrows. That is a strange way to start off the conversation. Is it normal for Cassie and Rora?
She nodded her head as an answer.
"It's my mom who is the muggle. Dad was the branching from the Potter's family tree. He was a wizard. He died when I was seven." Dorcas pursed her lips, thinking for a moment. "It's been almost ten years, but I still remember him perfectly. He died of an illness that slowly finished him off. He had those days when he would be feeling as great as he should, but there would always come the days when he would be feeling miserable. He would be tired a lot, and some days he wouldn't even leave his bed."
Meadowes' brows knitted together, recalling all those memories in her head.
"He wouldn't eatโsometimes he wouldn't get up to the toilet for hours until it was painful to walk or he would smell really badly because he didn't have the strength to get into the shower for days after he spent hours sweating."
"Sometimes, when I would come to lay with him in my parents' bed, I could see his eyes were red and dry from all the crying. Sometimes we wouldn't even share any words, and sometimes he would find a way to ask me what I learned in kindergarten or who I played with. It was hard for me to see him so tired when I wanted to play with him or go to the park."
She swallowed thickly.
"I didn't understand why he was like that when my mom would get out of bed and go to work every day. But I was a child. Now I can only think about how hard it was for him to feel so down when he knew he had me and my mom waiting for him, when he was too tired. Still, my mom never looked down on my dad. She loved him to the very last day of his battle and even after his death. My mom loves him so fucking much. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to help him. And he never asked for that. And that was his mistake. He struggled on his own in our home. He was not alone, but he isolated himself, and it was a mistake the three of us paid the biggest price for."
Cassie rolled her lips into her mouth, and Vivien saw her eyes become glassy like cracking glass. One tear slid down her dark cheek and she wiped it off.
Vivien felt bad, her heart aching. She knew Dorcas had only a mom, but she didn't know how she lost her dad. Dorcas never talked about her father and James never talked about his uncle either. Maybe he didn't even know what happened. Maybe even his part of the family didn't really know. Vivien offered Cassie a hand to hold. She accepted it, squeezing it gently.
"What I want to say is, you don't have to struggle on your own, Vi. I have not a single clue how you're feeling or if it's the same for every person who lives with what you live with. I don't even know if you go through the exact same thing that my dad went through but I know that neither I or anyone elseโyour brothers, our friends, and Regulusโcan live through you isolating yourself in the moment when you need help the most. I won't convince you to do something against your will, but I want you to know we're all here and we will always be waiting patiently for you to get up when you are ready, and if you're not, all it takes to have someone stay with you in bed is to ask."
Cassie declared, their fingers tangling together.
Vivien felt her eyes fill with tears and spill on her cheeks. She nodded her head. Cassie opened her arms for her, and Vi laid her forehead against her neck. She hugged her too, rubbing her back.
"You're not on your own." Dorcas promised Vivien with a soothing tone. "It's fine to cry."
Miss Meadowes had her eyes on Miss Beauchรชne for some time. She recognised the symptoms that her dad had. Vivien woke in the early morning just to cry, which woke others. Dorcas knew she struggled with things she didn't share with anyone. And Dorcas knew Regulusโshe saw through that cool faรงade that he was worried.
Once Pandora entered the dormitory with hands full of food for the three of them, she saw Cas hugging sleeping Vi.
They smiled faintly at each other. Pandora placed the food on the desk. Without a word, she took off her shoes and laid on Vi's other side, careful not to wake her. She stretched her arm to hug Vi and Cassie.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus woke with Vi on top of him. She cuddled to him like a little cub, her cheek pressed into the pillow beside his head, breathing into his ear.
Evan was in the bathroom already. It was new for Rosier. Since the beginning of the year, he had always been the first to be up, eventually waking Regulusโand Viโif she was with them, which she was a lot.
Regulus didn't push Evan about his motives, but he had noticed how his best friend would look at their other friend since last year. He waited for Evan to confide in him once he felt secure with his secret.
In the meantime, Regulus was all occupied with his own little beast. Vi moved in her sleep, and kicked him in the crotch with a knee. Of course.
He whimpered, and it had Vivien alarmed. Regulus could swear her ears perked up literally. She lifted herself to look at him, her eyes squinted pointedly at him.
"What was it?"
"You just crushed my penis, I believe." Regulus smiled tightlyโsarcasticallyโthrough his pain.
"Madame Pomfrey will grow you another one. Now be quiet." She replied, dropping herself back on him.
This time their ribs smacked against each other, and Vivien's breasts hurt like hell, causing her to painfully moan in sync with Black.
"Fuck."
"Merde."
"Vi, I love you, but you have to get up from me."
Vivien rolled her eyes. She slid down to the side of the mattress.
Regulus leaped to his feet, feeling somethingโon his pyjama bottoms.
"Vi?"
"Hmmm?" She hummed, still lying. She glanced at his back annoyedly.
"Did you begin your bleeding days?" Regulus turned around, showing her the big stain of fresh and dry blood on the crotch of his pyjama bottoms blending together.
Like he had used the wrong jinx, Vi felt a stabbing sensation in her abdomen. She jumped out of bed to her feet on the other side, panicking and exposing a small fresh stain on the mattress in the place she just lay at.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She shouted anxiously, grasping her tummy. She felt her arse to be wet, so was she between her legs. It isn't a nice wetness!
"It's alright." Regulus assured, soothing her, feeling bad she got ashamed. He was about to come closer but Evan left the bathroom at a perfect time.
Regulus spun around and Evan looked at his pyjama bottomโbewildered.
"What? You got your first bleeding?" He chuckled. "No, but seriously, why are you bleeding from your cock?"
Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. Vi curled on the floor, embarrassed and stressed.
"I'm not bleeding from my cock?" He answered, stupified by the stupidity of his best friends.
"What? Vivien's bleeding from her cock?" Vivien looked up at him, snorting desperately and hysterically.
"I'm bleeding, but not from cock, Evan."
He gazed at her, a candle lighting up in his head. "Oh, you're bleeding from your-your-"
"My, my?" She mimicked, annoyed. "My what? Pussy? Vagina? Hole? Cunt? Lady's part?"
"I think he gets it, Vi." Regulus scratched the nape of his neck awkwardly, glancing at her over his shoulder.
"Yes, you don't have to continue anymore. Please." Evan agreed, his eyes widening.
Regulus and Evan dared to assume that it could be possible that Vi was a bit irritable during her period.
Just a little bit.
Regulus didn't shame Vi for one second. She got into the shower. As she was washing, he brought her uniform, a fresh undergarment, and whatever she needed. Quickly, he changed into his fresh clothes and exited. When Vi was out of the bathroom, the most ready she could be for her day, Regulus was changing the bedsheet. She felt bad but Regulus kept assuring her everything was alright.
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ย ย ย ย ย Obviously, Regulus never had a period! Everything was not alright. Vi felt like a bunch of erumpents ran all over her. She sat on one of the beds in the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey searching through her glass case looking for some painkilling potion.
Regulus sat observing Vi. She was sweating out of pain. At this point, he didn't know if it was caused by the late bleeding daysโwhich were caused by her anxiety, or if it was a hormonal problem, or if Vi was hiding another health problem from him.
Or all of the options and more.
Her head was hanging, her legs swinging stiffly. She refused to go to the Hospital Wing, surely to avoid Madame Pomfrey, but Regulus saw that she couldn't bear her pain anymore, and it was frustrating her.
She was hissing and trying to bite everyone like an old fox, pain too much to endure for her.
The young couple thought that Vi's day would get easier when they came back to Regulus' dormitory.
Barty and Evan sat spread out on the couch doing History homework. Barty sat with his legs folded, doing everything, Evan paging the volume boredly. They looked up at the couple. Vi smiled softly. They both did the same and went back to their homework. Vi sat down on Regulus' bed, done and given up. He crouched down in front of her, smiling tightly.
"I think you have to take another shower."
"We ran out of all my clothes in here." Vivien murmured, dripping down into his mattress, sinking in its softness.
"Then I will get some from your dormitory."
"You won't get into the common room."
Regulus quirked an eyebrow. "You doubt I will get the answer to the riddle correctly?"
"Yes." Vi answered maliciously, not even trying to be intentionally mean.
Evan and Barty cracked a laugh, and Regulus rolled his eyes.
"I will prepare a bath." He walked away.
"What for?"
"For you."
"Why?"
"It might help with cramps and blood." Regulus elaborated from the bathroomโVi heard him speaking loudly.
She sighed, lying with her eyes closed, tired. All she wanted to do was lay down but she felt disgusting. She had to have that bath first.
She sat in the bathtub splashing water with her hand and Regulus smiled at her, looking so sweet and innocent. She thought he would lean in and give her a kiss on the temple at least.
He didn'tโagain and again.
"I will be back soon."
He just left.
Vi sat there trying to relax until she felt water cool down. She washed herself before it got chilly.
Then she sat at the toilet for a few minutes, waiting for Regulus but he was not returning.
Instead, she heard Cassie enter the dormitory as she whined about, Binns and his stupid homework. Vivien was getting impatient. She reached for Regulus' towel and wrapped herself tightly in it. She could use his clothes as it seemed he went missing on his way for hers. She needed to get dressed to look for him. She opened the bathroom door, wrapped in a stupid towel.
The trio on the sofa looked at her.
"Don't." She warned, walking over to Regulus' dresser, ignoring them three.
Cassie, Evan, and Barty said nothing, looking back at their notes, letting Crouch work out the homework.
Vivien took a hold of some of Regulus' old pyjama bottoms and jumper. She opened another drawer and started looking between his boxers. Some old pair, please. She was digging with her hands between his undergarments.
"Please," She murmured to herself, Regulus didnโt have period panties like herโhe had only nice, untouched boxers like they were just bought.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus and Pandora saw Vivien wrapped in the towel, too focused on going through his undergarments to realise he entered the room. She was whispering to herself. They looked at their friends, who shrugged their shoulders. Amused at the view, Regulus forgot the door.
It slammed closed loudly.
Vi jumped up, scared. Her body tensed, causing the towel to fall to the ground after the arseclown smacked the door.
Vivienn couldn't move, her hands clenching on the drawer, feeling like smashing her head into it immediately.
"Regulus?" She called silently.
Barty, Evan, and Dorcas stared intensely at Pandora, who stared at themโas soon as they all saw towelless Vivien in the corner of their eyes.
Regulus marched towards Vi, throwing the stuff he held on his bed. He picked up the towel for her and wrapped her in it. She immediately rushed towards the bathroom with her head low to hide.
Regulus felt bad that he embarrassed her and caused her to feel uncomfortable. ONCE MORE.
Vivien tried her best to not cry. She bottled up that shame, even if she felt it growing stronger. Regulus came into the bathroom with her clothes and she accepted them without a word.
"I'm so sorry, Vi." He apologised, and she only looked at him for a split second.
After a few minutes of building up courage, Vivien left the bathroom, wearing Regulus' jumper and some pyjama shorts. She sheepishly lurked out of the bathroomโthe trio on the sofa still sat on the sofa, Regulus in the armchair and Pandora on Evan's bed, kicking her feet in the air. They don't seem like they laughed their asses off because of me.
Regulus looked up at Vi, who tiptoed to his bed and laid down with her back facing him and the rest, curled into a ball.
Vivien covered herself with the duvet, wanting to disappear under it. She felt movements on the mattress, and she felt Regulus lay behind her, leaving a few inches between their bodies.
"I'm really sorry, Vi. I didn't know you were out of the bathroom or that you were only in the towel."
"I was waiting for you, but you weren't returning." She murmured back.
"I'm sorry. Pandora took me to the kitchen to get you something sweet."
If you want to get me something sweet, just kiss me! Or hug me! Touch me at all, you fucking bitch! Vi wanted to shout at Regulus. He claimed everything was alright, but he didn't even touch her once throughout their day.
"I don't have an appetite." She murmured emotionlessly instead of screaming.
Regulus wanted to cuddle with Vi so badly, but he didn't want to irritate her. He understood she could be touchy from all the hormones. His lips tightened, and his head bowedโeven if Vi couldnโt see that. He was scrambling out of bed to let her rest and she giggled bitterly.
"What is it, Vi?" Regulus looked at Vi, hearing her.
Pandora, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty felt the tension crushing them.
And Vivien snapped, sitting up, facing them all.
"Go on and leave fucking again. Go ahead!" She had teary eyes, crying out at Regulus loudly.
He stood rooted to the ground at the bedside, watching Vi break down so suddenly.
"Vi, what are you talking about?" Cassie spoke up for him, everyone glancing at Vivien.
"I get it! I really fucking do! I'm bloody, sweaty, and disgusting but I just wanted one hug. And I've been waiting for you to hug me, but you didn't even once and everyone saw me naked and ugly again and I bleed everywhere, and everything hurts, and I'm tired, and everything hurts even more."
She hid her face in her hands, weeping.
Vivien didn't even understand why she was so hurt and frustrated.
"And I don't know what's happening." She admitted, lost and alone like none wanted her to be.
But Vi didn't know how to ask for help other than to explode with her emotions all over the place to let everyone know she was in need of support.
Maybe that is one of the symptoms for people like me and Cassie's dadโVi wondered. Maybe they just couldn't find the right words to ask for help.
Regulus felt bad. All of Vi's emotions were bottled up, cracking the fragile glass that her faรงade was made out of. He leaned on his hands towards her, sickly worried.
"So you want me to hug you, Vi?"
"Not anymore."
"Do you want me to hug you, Vivi?" Evan offered innocently.
"Yes, please."
Regulus would chuckle. Of course, she would be acting stubborn after feeling ignored by him. If she only knew how much he wanted to hug her the whole day too.
Evan walked from the sofa to Regulus' bed. He sat down, and Vivien threw herself into him, splashing against him, simply needing to be heldโsaved from drowning in her blues.
Vivien felt Evan massaging her back for comfort. She felt relieved when someone finally held her. She took a deep inhale to quieten her sadness.
"Vivi, I'm not sure what you mean by naked and ugly. Yes, your towel fell and you were naked for a second but none saw anything, and if you worry about that Halloween nightโwe all looked away as soon as we realised that Regulus made out of your bare chest his pillow. He probably covered you the whole night. We weren't looking then, and we weren't looking now. And honestly, I doubt you're ugly anywhere," He continued as his eyes met Regulus' sharp stare. "Which I don't know from experience, just an assumption."
"You don't think I'm ugly?" Vi squeezed him tighter.
"Vivien, why do you think we call you foxy?" Barty asked.
Everyone was startled. Vivien turned on her other cheek against Evan's shoulder, looking at the rest.
"What do you mean?" She was conflicted. What does that name have to do with anything?
"Why do you think everyone calls you foxy?" He repeated.
"I'm not either cunning or graceful, so it's ironic, I guess." She shrugged her arms.
Pandoraโs face fell in outrage. "What?!"
Dorcas and Barty stood up from the couch.
Regulus' heart broke and he sat down helpless.
"You thought everyone was mocking you all this time? We were?" Meadowes asked.
"Mocking?" Vivienโs arms loosened around Evan. "Oh." It occurred to her that they in fact would still be laughing at her that whole time, even if she pretended to laugh with them.
"Vi." Regulus said, easing because of her. He couldn't understand how that sweet, beautiful, and brilliant girl could think so low about herself. "Everyone calls you that because you are attractive. I daresay everyone thinks that you are very graceful despite your clumsiness."
"So you think I am hot?" She asked straightforwardly, her eyebrows frowning.
"We do." Dorcas stated shortly, trying not to overstep any lines with Regulus.
"You don't think you are hot?" Barty raised his eyebrows, leaning on the bed frame.
"No, I doโsomewhat."
The other teenagers laughed softly.
"But you just didn't think the rest thought the same?"
"Yes." She answered quietly.
Regulus moved on the mattress towards Vi. Vi turned to him timidly. He was offering her his hands to hold. Everyone assumed the young couple needed a few minutes to talk and they backed away, nearly tiptoeing out of the room, when Vi and Regulus already gazed at each other like it was them two there anyway.
Regulus heard the door close, and Vi saw it out of the corner of her eyes. She laid her hands in his.
"Vivien, it was not my intention to make you feel isolated from me. I wanted to hug you but you can't ignore the fact that you are very irritated today. I simply didn't want to be the one to annoy you." He told, caressing her skin.
"So it's not because you think I'm ugly now, Regulus?" Vi asked nervously, biting on her bottom lip.
He huffed frustratedly, "How come no matter how many times I tell you that you are the beautifullest girl in the world, you still argue that I think otherwise?"
"I-" She hesitated, lowering her eyes. "I don't argue with the fact that you think I am, Regulus. I'm just checking if the day when you don't think anymore that I'm beautiful has already come."
"It didn't come and never will, Vi. I will always think you're the prettiest." Regulus leaned towards Vi, resting his forehead against hers.
She locked her eyes with his once more.
"Even when I bleed on your cock, bed, and clothes?"
"Even if you bleed on me and my things, yes."
Vivien smiled, and her nose crinkled cutely.
She reached for Regulus' lips, and they kissed weakly but happily. It was short, and they peeled away for Vivien to properly throw herself into Regulus' arms. He hugged her tightly.
Then, like the young couple could only remember it in each other's arms, it hit them like a bludger.
Vi, I love you, but you have to get up from me.
VI! I! LOVE! YOU!
Did Vivien hear that? Regulus swallowed. Did he really say those words out loud like that? Just like that?
Did Black actually say that? Vi felt her heart thud.
She pushed herself away, looking at Regulus. He was white like a ghost, which was nothing new. It was hard to tell if he thought about the same thing she did.
Maybe I just overheard him? Or he made a mistake. Sure, yes. He didn't mean it like that. It was supposed to be, 'Vi, I like you, but you have to get up from me.' It was like a joke. He was teasing.
Vivien hugged Regulus back, pressing herself tightly in.
She was frightened and didn't know how to face him any longer.
Regulus could tell Vi thought about the exact same thing he did, as her eyes were wide open in fear before she hid herself in his chest.
Chapter 29: family line
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Barely at the age of twelve, Miss Beauchรชne was diagnosed with a bad case of neurosis. It's how muggles called the mental disorder she was considered to have.
Vivien's body was healthyโher brain wasn't. She was mentally ill. She was born ill and there was nothing anyone could do to heal it. She would be unstable until her death.
But her brothers had never seen her that way. She was not ill or unstableโjust different. She was not exaggerating her emotions for attention like some adults suggested. She was simply a very open and easy-to-read person, and it was uncomfortable for adults. Vivien was not dramatising her life. One of her differences was that to her everything seemed white or black. And there was nothing in between. No shades of grey. There was only inky black or pearly white. Things could be either heavenly good or deadly bad.
"I still blame you for this." Vivien murmured at Regulus randomly.
The young couple stood by the table under the wall, preparing a food table for the birthday boy. Ambrosie was turning fifteen. Vivien's little scorpio. Her little brother was already turning fifteen on some random November Sunday, like it was nothing.
Vivien organised a little party for him like they always didโinviting everyone's closest friends. As always Vi had felt bad at the thought of choosing who was closest to her as she had so many friendsโso she invited all of them to the Room of Requirement for the afternoon to savour birthday cake, eat some sweets, and play some games, laughing loudly.
"Vi, I didn't give you a period." Regulus claimed, quirking a brow.
"But you wanted me to get one." Vivien said, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes.
"I didn't want you to be expecting."
"You wanted me to suffer."
The two bantered back and forth.
"I wanted your body to do the healthy thing."
"I doubt the pain like this might be healthy."
Regulus stopped composing baked goods on plates and looked at her.
"Does your tummy still hurt?"
Vi shrugged her shoulders. "A little."
"You could tell me, and I could help with that."
"How?" She tilted her head, watching Regulus.
He moved behind her. She kept looking at him over her shoulder, his hands travelling gently to her belly. His warm hands rested there and he whispered into her ear, smiling,
"Massage, Vi. You're not the only one who can use their hands nicely."
Regulus teased Vi, when they were glancing at each other from so close. She flushed. She felt his hands delicately press her tummy, touching it to release the pain. How does he know I like it?
Suddenly, she heard Ambrosie. He cleared his throat.
And Regulus looked at him but didn't take his hands off of his big sister. It was Vi who left Regulus' arms.
Vivien knew Regulus didn't mean anything sexual. He was only playing and that abashed herโhow confident he was. Regulus thought he saw his opportunity to lighten Vivien's mood, so he took it. But in the end, it seemed he only stressed her out because she looked between him and her brother sheepishly.
"I have to use the bathroom." She said silently, disappearing in the blink of an eyeโthat's how fast she walked.
Both boys shared a glance.
"For a moment, I thought that maybe you two talked." Bambi shook his head, coming closer to the food, picking at his cake and snacking on the cream when Vivien wasn't there to scold him. He gazed back at Regulus, who had just stood there observing him.
"Black, you have to talk with her." Please. Regulus could tell it was a plea. Bambi wasn't demandingโhe was begging him. He was desperately asking him for help.
"I want to, but what do you expect me to do?"
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ย ย Vivien didn't need to use the bathroom. She walked to it and backed to the table that she just left.
"Approach Vi and say, Hi, my Highness. Bambi told me about the potions and Madame Pomfrey. Now, what do we think about a little trip to the Hospital Wing?"
Vivien's stomach dropped. That's not fair! She felt tears gather in her eyes. She wanted to yell at Bambi, as soon as she realised he had told Regulus, but her voice got stuck in her throat.
"Vivi?" Teddy laid a hand on her shoulder after, seeing her stop dead a few feet behind two clowns.
Her name caught Regulus' and Bambi's attention. They turned around.
"Fuck, Vi." Regulus took a step forward, but Vivien reacted on the spot.
She rushed, waving her hand to dismiss all that shite. She ran out of the Room of Requirement, crying. That's not fair!ย But the truth was, she didn't know what to do. Where to go? She stood there, frantic like a lost child among the mist until Regulus came after her seconds later.
Vi stood in the middle of an empty corridor as she had her face hidden in her hands, weeping, her back facing him.
"Shhh." Regulus carefully came closer to her. "It's alright, Vi."
He gently caught her wrists to uncover her face, but she began fighting him.
"Don't touch me!" She cried out despite the painful lump in her throat.
Vivien didn't want Regulus to see her like that... Like a girl he needed to constantly look after. She didn't want him to see her like this! That isn't fair!
"Vi, please."
"Go away! Go back to plot with Bambi!" She wept, struggling against him.
Still, Regulus won the battle. He tangled Vivien's arms around his torso and embraced her in his chest, hugging her tightly to soothe her.
"We weren't plotting." Even though he felt Vivien trying to still fight, he assured her, rubbing her back. "I don't know how much you heard, but what I said was sarcasm, Vi."
"I don't care." Vivien cried, smacking Regulus with her fist on his back. He could feel how gently she did it.
It was more of a protest than an actual way of hurting him.
"Yes, you do." He whispered.
"I don't! You were plotting with Ambrosie against me!" She accused him.
Regulus shook his head, rubbing her back slowly to ease her mind.
"Absolutely not, Vi. That's not what happened. No one was plotting against you." He reasoned. "We were talking about you, yes. But that's all."
"You were talking behind my back."
"Because you would bite our heads off if we were talking in front of you."
"Because that's not Ambrosie's place to speak up. It wasn't even your place to know!"
Vivien was sorrowful that Regulus knew her secret. Ambrosie didn't keep his mouth shut.
Yet, it was comforting when Black held her. Regulus weakly parted away and Vi's hands loosened, slipping onto his waist. He cupped her little, pinkish face. She sniffed. Nervously, she sunk her nails in Regulus' jumper.
"Vi, it was my place to know that you're ill. And it hurts my heart that you weren't the one to confide in me on that matter. That it had to be your brother telling me you need help."
Vivien sank her fingers into Regulus deeper.
"I don't need help." She gritted through her teeth, tears drifting down her reddish cheeks.
"Yes, you do and that's not a bad thing. I don't know why you would think Bambi is rebelling and plotting against you. He cares about you, and he's worried because he sees the things that I've been noticing."
He caressed her cheek, despite how roughly she treated him.
"You've been very unhappy lately. You've been self-conscious about everythingโyou've been embarrassed and ashamed. You're anxiousโI get itโbut it's started getting even worse since the beginning of the year. You've been crying a lot. More than just those times that I was there with you. You avoid feasts. You're isolating yourself. You're sleeping even more than usual. And you keep telling me that you are just tired."
"I am!"
"Vi, you're tired the whole time."
"So what?!" Vivien stared at him with her big furious eyes.
Regulus caressed her cheek.
"You can be tired, but usually when people are tired, they go to sleep and wake restedโnot more tired than they were than when they went to bed. That's not good and surely not healthy. Even your body has been giving you signs. Vi, it's not a big deal that you're ill to me bu-"
Vivien giggled bitterly.
"Not a big deal?! Of course, it's not a big deal to you that I'm ill when I'm not, because let's call things by their names! I'm disordered, Regulusโand that's a big deal to me! It's my whole life!"
Regulus examined her quietly. Vi was drowning in her obsessions, fears, and anxiety. Her head had to be spinning with all the thoughts runningโracing. Her cheeks were swollen and flushed, her eyes reddened and teary.
"It might not be a big deal to you because it's not your life. You didn't spend your life fighting every day for normality! That's all you know, Regulus! Normal! And I don't have the same privilege! And no matter how much I try, I'll never achieve that! There's no herb that can fix that, and that stupid potion you were talking about is just a lie so everyone could feel better about themselves that there is something they can do for me!"
She whisper-shouted him, completely separating from him. She walked away in the opposite direction than the Ravenclaw Tower.
Regulus stood there. He knew she would prefer to be alone, but it didn't feel right to leave her to it. It was another chance for her to isolate. Regulus went after Vi, even if she would rip his throat.
Vivien was walking for some time. She saw over her shoulder that Regulus was following her the whole time. The truth being told, she felt like she deserved to stay alone but deep down she didn't want to be lonely.
Regulus saw how Vi peeped at him. He assumed she would speed up or run. She didn't. They walked through the castle in silence, separated, doing their best to avoid anyone else. Just them two as their steps echoed between them.
Vivien calmed by the time they reached the Greenhouse. It was quiet and warm after Professor Sprout charmed it to keep the plants alive.
Vi sat down on one of the stairs, leaving some space for Regulus to sit with her. He approached her, and she looked up at him. He saw her crying so much that he found some peace in her thickened lashes and pinkish skin after her tears had already washed away her pain.
"My mama was always sick like that. I mean since I was born." Vi murmured, Regulus sitting down. His features softened.
"Manon barely bore down the pregnancy. She lost her best friend at the beginning of it. Mallory was her name. She and mama were attached together. It was a robbery. In the St Mungo's, mama heard the news that Mallory was dead and there was a two-month-old little girl in her. Yuppi!" She sarcastically let out. "Mallory is who I've got my second name after. Grandpa always said that after Manon lost Mallory, she lost a piece of her own soul. Together, Mallory and ma were one creation, and when there was no Mallory, there was no Manon anymore. So basically, my mama's a shell of the woman she could be."
The couple glanced at each other. Unconsciously, the young witch began playing with her fingers.
"I really do everything I can to mask the things we lackโfor my brothers. We used to live in Godric's Hollow. That's where I met James and Peter as babies. Their parents were my parents' neighbours. I lived there until I was five. My papa was never at homeโhe was always at work. He met a lot of dangerous people all around the globe. When I was around five, one of the dark wizards my father caught broke out of some prison and was on the run. I think he started hunting for mama, me, and my little brothers. He was sending anonymous threats to dad. They had to put us under protection. We moved to Wales and stayed there until recently. We lived there secretly for another four years, with papa away for all that time. But for their safety, our grandies also moved into the safehouse with us. Until grandma and grandpa left the protection programme on their own when I was eight. A year later, we were out of the programme too after they caught that dark wizard."
Vivien told quietly.
"My mama and grandma never could find common groundโa way to bond. They just couldn't stand the sight of each other. Grandma believed Manon failed as an heir, so it meant grandma also failed as a mother. And she hated that thought. After Manon got herself into St Mungo's, I had to write a letter to someoneโan adultโwho could legally take care of me and my brothers. Dad was unreachable, and I had to write to grandies. The issue was that my grandma never liked me any more than she liked mama, you know? She always reminded me that from the day I was born, she knew that I was cursedโthat there was something not right about me. She didn't think that I could ever grow into a proper heir for our family if I was that 'brain-damaged'. So there came an idea."
She chuckled bitterly.
"An idea to breed out the new heir. But our family is matriarchal, and Ambrosie is not a girl and never was, so are all of my brothers. It was grandma who teared down mama until there was absolutely nothing left. Manon was already in an unhealthy state mentally, so grandma just told her to open her legs. And now everyone laughs at mama for being a prostituteโthat a good glass of wine is all it takes to have a night of fun with her. That's why my brothers and I don't look similar. I mean mama's features are prominent, but papa's not so much. I think he knew that too."
Regulus' stomach dropped, a sour taste of bile washing over his mouth.
Manon was forced to do unimaginable things during the lowest point of her life. Her own mother took advantage of her vulnerability.
Regulus remembered when twelve-year-old Mulciber, Avery, and Carrows would laugh the loudest at Vivien and her family after pointing their fingers and repeating the words of their parents. Regulus pretended to laugh too back then. None of them even really understood most of the things that were told about Vivien's mother, but they found a reason to look down on someone, so they did. And Regulus wanted to fit in among them, so he also did.
Now he was ashamed of himself.
"All that just to replace you?" Regulus asked, even if it was obvious. It was all he could form out with his words, a puke coming up his throat.
Vivien nodded her head.
"All that just to replace Manon and erase me." She pressed her lips into a thin line.
Regulus grasped her hands into his, stopping her from violating her body.
"All of those children, and not a single healthy girl. If I was just born right, I would save all of our time, grandma would say to me. I used to be a silent child and sensitiveโI still can be. I was always picky and easily irritated because of certain things. I was not learning fast enoughโI don't understand a lot of clues and cues, and I don't know why that is. I act impulsively. I wish I could change those things but I am just a fucking human, Regulus."
It was making Vivien frustrated all over againโthe things that were supposedly so wrong with her that she couldn't change about herself to just fit in. She felt hopeless all over again.
She rolled her eyes at how pathetic she was.
"When we lived together, grandma would always blame me for everything. She would always punish me. She slapped me once. It was the first time in my life that I was hit. When mama found out that grandma raised her hand at me, she told her to pack her things and get out of her house. And grandies did. Grandpa wasn't an awful person, but he was quiet, and he would dismiss everything. And that passiveness was awful."
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ย ย ย ย ย After Beauchรชne boys heard their big sister yell at Black and then vanish somewhere with him, they felt awkward. They did anything to avoid each other's eyes and Vivien's friends'. They agreed that one of them would ask Regulus for help, even if Vivien would murder all four of them in the most gruesome ways.
But now the silence was getting uncomfortable. Five sixteen-year-olds felt the air became thick as a brick. They were ignored. They came to help, which meant resting on the couch in the Room of Requirement. The room was light, quiet, and cosy. Cassie, Aurora, Evan, and Barty sat at the fireplace. There were couches placed on both sides of the fireplace and three armchairs. Meanwhile, the long coffee table stood in the centre of that. But the lazing didn't feel so nice anymore.
Cas sat with her legs tucked under her arse in one corner of the couch, gazing at the sparking fire. Rora sat with her head resting on Evan's shoulder. Barty almost laid in his seat.
After some time, Ambrosie sat down on the opposite sofa. Rosaire followed, sitting in the armchair, observing the flames. Teddy sat in the other armchair, spreading on it. Ambrosie looked between Teddy, Rosaire, and Vivien's rarely ever quiet friends. He sighed, when their looks crossed.
"It's not like a big secret that our mama has a bad reputation in the aristocracy. Bad drunk and vulgar. It started when she was expecting for the first time. She lost her best friend at the beginning of her first pregnancy. It was hard, and the birth was wrenching for her. Grandpa always said that after mama lost her best friend, she lost her half. Vivien was the first to actually understand that ma was just what was left from the grief."ย
Cassie tilted her head, listening.
"What was your mama's best friend's name?" She asked softly, tone tender and free of judgment.
"Mallory." Teddy saw Auora light up, the candle in her mind burning intensely. "Yes, that's where Vivi got her second name." He cut in before she could and he sighed. "Truth be told, our sister stepped up in the role of people she never could rely on."
Rosie looked down on his hands, playing with his fingers.
"Exactly." Ambrosie agreed in a murmur. "She's our big sister, but it's-" He hesitated. "But we are her babies. We absolutely are. We are products of Vivien's and the elves' labour. But she's not our rightful guardian, and when mama laid sick in St Mungo's, it was another actual adult that had to stay with our brothers. Papa was not in the country, or maybe not even on the continentโwho would remember? Vivien had to send an owl to grandparents. Our mama and grandma were on thin ice since grandies left the safehouse in Welsh years ago where we lived before the attack, Vi's arranged engagement with Regulus, and all that. We were put in the safehouse after some complications from papa's work got to our family. It had something with a dark wizard on the loose. Papa had to stay away from us, but our grandparents lived with us for their safety. Doesn't matter. Grandma and mama had a pretty rough fight, and one moment the grandparents were at home, and in another they were gone. But the issue isโor rather wasโthat Vivien was always at least the grandchildren of grandma, which is quite an achievement in a matriarchal family like ours."
"What do you mean? Like little Vivien? How-wait-how old even was your grandma?" Evan piped in.
The brothers looked at each other, shrugging, grimacing their faces.
"She was like, what? Seventy-five or something?" Teddy quirked an eyebrow.
Rosie frowned. "What? No. Grandpa was two years older than her. And h-"
"Right, and he would have had seventy-one birthdays back in June, so she was what?"
"Like sixty-nine?"
"I think she had her sixty-eighth birthday in January." Ambrosie muttered. Doesn't matter!
"We think she was around sixty-eight." Rosie smiled silly.
"You think?"
Sixteen-year-olds erupted in a silent laughter that spilled.
"But you don't know for sure?"
"We don't care, for sure." Teddy smiled sarcastically.
The laugh died out.
Right.
"She was cruel to Vivien?" Pandora asked gently.
"Grandma forced mama into another pregnancy because she didn't like the infant that Vivien was. That old crusty bag had issues with a newborn to begin with."
Everyone's stomachs tightened. That was repulsive.
"Grandma always repeated that from the day Vivien came out of mama's womb, she knew that this girl was cursed and something was wrong with her, blah blah blah. She didn't think that Vivien could ever grow into a proper heir for our family if she was, and I quote, that brain-damaged. But our family is matriarchal, and the rest of us came out of mama's wombs as boys."
"Your grandmother forced your mother to breed out another heir?"
"Yeah, I don't think she even cared if papa was there to procrastinate." Teddy chuckled at the memory of that old stupid hag.
All teenagersโ eyes widened, concerned to say the least.
"But wouldn't that mean-"
"That's exactly what he meant." Bambi cut through the thick air.
"Anyway. I don't think it went as grandma suspected it to go, and she blamed Vivien for it. If she was just born right, it would save all of our time. According to her, Vivien used to be mute. But then she was always easily irritated because of certain things and sensitive supposedly to everything. And grandma always made her feel stupid for being so. That old hag made Vivien feel foolish about everything. Bad concentration, her behaviour, being a loner. Even her eyesโthat they were blank and undisturbed with a single thought. It was only us four when we were in the safehouse. I mean we would leave the house, but we were not allowed to keep that much contact with anyone, and the children in the town were muggles anyway. They were going to their schools most of the year. Still, Vivienโs isolation was a solid reason to belittle Vivien. Grandma made Vivien feel not enough. She made Vivien feel like a failure. Our sister won't admit it but standing up for herself gave her quite a hard time after she was taught that she was not worth such an effort. Everything Vivi is wrong and always has been."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien had perfect timing that day, entering the Room of the Requirement with Regulus after their break to hear these words fall from Teddy's mouth.
Vi folded her arms over her chest, hugging herself for some comfort.
"Vivien could never be enough." Teddy muttered, looking over his shoulder at his big sister and Black.
"But you are at the top of our year?" Evan directed his words to Vivien after everyone noticed hers and Regulus' presence.
Evan wanted Vivien to open up. He wanted to know his best friend's deepest secrets. He was emphatic and caring.
Regulus stopped Vivien with a hand on her back. They looked at each other, ignoring all the eyes on them. Regulus brushed the strand of her hair behind her ear, smiling sadly.
"You don't have to if you're not ready." He murmured. "They will always wait for you."
Vivien was aware the secrets of the past kept complicating her life, but those subjects always seemed shameful. And whenever she tried to open up, it felt like she was begging for pity and being pathetic. She didn't open up to Jamie and Pete like that even years into friendship, even though she deserved to give herself that peace of mind.
It was partially the reason that ruined their friendship. They couldn't understand her because she never talked about herself. Vi always felt like a problem whenever she tried to, but she was turning into one at that point anyway.
She pressed her lips tightly, catching Regulus' hand in hers. She slowly turned around and brought him with her. They stopped at the couch, and Ambrosie moved to the side. Regulus sat down first, and Vi sat down at his. She curled into the ball against his side, resting securely. Regulus locked his arms around the ball that Vi was. None said anything, letting Vi collect her thoughts.
She hugged herself around her legs and lowered her face.
"I am at the top of our year. Nine outstandingsโmy lucky number. I out-made Barty by one more. The rest are Exceeds Expectations." She began, nearly bragging if it was not for the fact how unemotional she was after crying her eyes out.
"Don't tell my father." Crouch Jr. chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
Vivien smiled faintly to herself.
"I wasn't really clever before Hogwarts. I mean I was always well-readโjust not in things I should've read. But proving grandma wrong was the greatest motivation I had. The spite for her. Last year I out-made eleven generations of Beauchรชnes, including hers. Would that be enough? Probably not but we will never find out now."
"When I got expelled from Beauxbรขtons, I was average in all the classes at best. Learning was a painful experience for me. I had no patience or concentration for it. But the twelve-year-old me was passionate about making my grandma regret everything. When I got back from Acadรฉmie, there was this one morning that I woke early in the morning from the screams behind my door. Mama and grandma were fighting, and I thought I travelled back in time. I did not. Grandma came after me."
"People in France are very strict about dark magic. That stupid book I was caught reading wasn't even like Unforgivable Curses type of dark. I just found it in the attic of our house. It was ancient magic but it was not the purest one, and well..." She paused, gritting her teeth to get through her pain.
"It terrified professors. Beauxbรขtons didn't want the bad press about little dark wizards attending the school. So to save the school's reputation, they sent me back home. The French Ministry examined the book and it was returned to the deposit of my family, but French people prefer to keep France clean. I am not forbidden to visit the country but I am also not welcomed to stay in it ever since. So after I ruined our family reputation in France, it got grandma livid. For the most part, Beauchรชnes lived around here. Welsh, Scotland, and Ireland. But we came from today's Rennes territory."
"I never knew they had units for mentally unstable people in hospitals until grandma put me into one. There aren't a lot of disordered children so what I can assure you of is that they don't have units dedicated to them. It didn't stop grandma from leaving me at St Mungo's for six months. After four, I was allowed to be visited for good behaviour. But for four months I was left alone with all these adult strangers in a strange place. There was nothing there that I knew. My home, my familyโnothing. For what it's worth, for the most part it was nice. I had room alone since there was none around my age there. After a week, they sent the letter to mama with the first observations. Healers believed I had something that muggles would call neurosis. In adult women, the symptoms are anxiety, nervousness, insomnia, irritability, and loss of appetite. But there are physical symptoms that I didn't show. For that reason, healers expanded their research. They checked my brainโthere is something wrong with it, and they can't explain it. Some pieces grew too quickly for my age, and others are unnatural, whatever that means. They should be a bit asymmetrical, but mine are perfectly symmetrical. And they don't know what causes those differences but now they know how it affects a person." Vivien chuckled bitterly.
"They didn't medicate Vi with any certain diagnosis but based on her symptoms, they prepared the best potion receipt that could help her with her troubles and Madame Pomfrey perfected it."
Vivien unwillingly raised her face, slowly and hesitantly meeting Regulusโ eyes. He was already gazing at the ball she was, snuggled to him. He observed her attentively the whole time, listening to her story.
they looked deeply into each otherโs soul, like they saw through all the flesh. Vivienโs eyes, emotionless, only flickered at the view of Regulus. His grey eyes were gentleโkind and delicate. And they flickered just the same.
He smiled weakly.
"That's why I came to Regulus, Vivi. Because it is your whole life and understandable it is a big deal to you. I think you deserve someone to support you through your problems, but you clearly didn't let me, Teddy, and Rosie. And you're wrong. The potion isn't a lie. It was helping you through the last semesters for as long as you needed it. You know that once you will feel better again, Madame Pomfrey won't suddenly force you to continue to drink the potion or pour it down your throat." Bambi smiled tightly at his big sister.
She only glanced at him for a slip second, bowing her head in understanding. Quickly, her eyes found the way back home like Regulus was a map she traced.
Their eyes studied one another in that specific, intense way.
"We get it, guys. You're hooked." Evan groaned quietly, standing up, throwing his hands out of frustration.
Barty and Dorcas cracked, straightening too. Pandora smiled at Vivien's brothers, tipping her head as a sign for them to leave the young couple.
Vivien glanced out of the corners of her eyes, observing watchfully everyone go after the snack table!
She tensed but Regulusโ hand around grazed her waist through the material of her shirt to keep her grounded. She met his eyes that told her, Let them.
She softened, snuggling to him tightly.
"I didn't want you to know that I was not well, Regulus. I didn't want you to notice that I felt bad. I didn't want you to notice I was visiting Madame Pomfrey and began asking questions." She whispered, tears gathering in her eyes.
"Why?"
"I didn't want to be a burden for you." It hit him like a bludger, his heart shattering.
"Vi, you're the only relief I have in my life, and it hurts me to see you unhappy. I want you to do everything you need to do to be happy again and hold your hand if you let me." A tear stained Vivien's cheek.
"Will you go with me to the Hospital Wing tomorrow?"
Regulus cupped the side of Vivien's face, wiping the tear with his thumb, instructing her to look up at him.
"I will go to the Hospital Wing every morning if you want."
Vivien didn't understand how she could ever return the favour to Mother Nature for placing someone so kind in her life when all she was was so vile.
She stuck her forehead to Regulus'.
"I want that."
"So do I, Vi."
Regulus studied the pretty girl he held in his arms longingly. It could be seconds, it could be hours.
Vivien swallowed.
Vi, I love you, but you have to get up from me, they both thought about what Regulus had said. They didn't talk about the l-word he used because neither of them knew what to say. After Regulus' Adam's apple bobbed, Vivien saw his lips parting to speak out.
"My parents are shitty too." Evan plopped down on the couch, saving her.
Everyone started dripping down again, and the young couple looked around.
Evan was devouring a piece of apple pie with a small spoon, glancing at Vi.
"I think by the age of eleven I have not seen them more than I have seen them, and now I see them occasionally if they show up at home between their constant vacations."
"My dad doesnโtโheโs dead." Cassie smiled lip-tight between taking bites of the cheesecake.
"My dad's alive, but he doesn't really like me. His work is all he likes." Barty commented, devouring Evan's piece of pie with another little spoon, which earned him an unimpressed look from Rosier.
"I'm one step away from getting kicked out of the only home I have ever known." Rora murmured, savouring dragรฉes from the small bowl.
"Manon is an alcoholic."
"Papa was rarely at home." Rosie added.
"And grandies failed ma, then us too." Ambrosie spread in his seat and rested his hands behind his head.
"I'm a product of inbreeding." Regulus stated laconically, his short statement spoke more than another thousand words could.
Chapter 30: knight in a shining armour
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย At the start of the week, Vi was sitting with Regulus, Barty, and Evan in the library, doing their homework. But Regulus was the only one studying. Barty sat beside Vi with hands tucked behind his head and Evan sat on the opposite side of the table with Regulus, murmuring with Vi back and forth.
"Evan, I'm not cutting my hand." She protested in a whisper-shout.
"You did it in the third year." He contradicted.
Evan wanted Vi to do the weird ritual she supposedly had done in Divination class back in the said third year that got her sent to Dumbledore after Professor Wobblewick shit herself seeing Vivien bleed on one of the crystal balls. Vi had claimed it could help see the future after reading about the method from her family bookโthe one that got her expelled from the Beauxbรขtons in the first place too.
"Because it could work back then." Now she argues.
"Why wouldn't it work now?"
"Because it was the sacrifice of a virgin's blood and I'm not one of those anymore." Vivien stared at Evan sharply, meaningful.
Regulus' eyes almost fell out at the bluntness she used as he was reading his lecture.
Barty rolled his lips into his mouth to suppress the snort that wanted to escape his mouth, hearing such a bold statement.
"Oh." Evan opened his book again, hiding in it out of embarrassment.
"Yeah, oh. Fine. You want to know the future." Vi took a deep breath and closed her eyes, laying her hand on her real crystal ball. She was supposed to do the Divination homework with Barty and Evan, but clearlyโit wasn't working out.
"You won't make it to your twenties, pet. Cassie and Aurora to the thirties, and Barty to the forties."
"Sweet." Dorcas appeared on one of the table ends, chuckling.
Pandora approached the other one. Vivien opened her eyes to glance at the two girls.
"Could you fasten it, actually, foxy? It would solve some of my problems right now." Barty laughed cheekily. Sitting beside him, Pandora stared at him judgmentally for such a wish.
"What about Regulus?" Cassie teased Vivien for not including him on the list.
Vivien looked at Regulus blankly, not thoughts behind her eyes. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. She blinked.
"He won't make it past eighteen." She said numbly.
"Very funny, Vi." He scowled silently, unimpressed with her foolery.
She shrugged, about to go back to her homework until another whisper-
"Vi?"
"Yes, Cassie?" She flared through her nose, raising her eyes from her piece of parchment.
"So my unnamed friend," She looked at Pandora, so did Vivien.
They all looked at Pandora, who stormed Dorcas with her blueish eyes for her teasing.
"Is wondering what positions are the best ones?"
Regulus put his hand over his forehead, trying his best to read the book. Jesus Christ.
Evan flushed and Barty smirked cockily, watching the whole scene.
Vivien squinted looking between Pandora and Dorcas, confused.
"Positions? What positions?"
Right, Barty chuckled.
"Sex positions." Dorcas specified in silent whisper, wiggling her eyebrows to emphasise.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows. It reminded her of what Regulus told her during the Hallowe'en party.
"Rora, who are you dating?" She asked a little too loudly, some kids from the nearby table staring at her. She only smiled apologetically at them.
"What do you mean? Who am I dating?" Pandora asked with her blonde brows meeting.
Maybe I wasn't meant to know?! Vi felt her stomach tighten in worry that Regulus would get into trouble with their friends because of her.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know-"
"Vivie, what are you talking about? What do you mean you don't know?" Pandora frowned more firmer.
"I don't think I understand what's happening." Vivien tilted her head to the side, her face stirring with various emotions.
"Xenophilius is who I'm trying more or less to date at the moment like since last year."
Vivienโs face stirred even more. "Lovegood?"
"Yes."
Vivien knew Pandora and Xenophilius Lovegood spent a lot of time together last year before he graduated. Pandora met him because of Alchemy they both attended. He was a bit eccentric, but Pandora bonded with him over their interests in experiments, which is what Vivien made out of it. But dating? I thought they were friends... Vivien was taken aback, looking around her surroundings, trying to fathom the concept of the experiment that Pandora and Xenophilus were. She was calculating it and her friends masked their laughs. So obvious! No thoughts, just a rustling wind running through that head!
Vivien turned to Dorcas, murmuring.
"Doesn't Xenophilius look like a sexier version of her brother?"
Cas cracked, erupting with a laughter that spilled live lava, trying her best to play it off as coughing. Everyone looked at two girls, intrigued.
Whatever Vi said had to be hilarious.
Vivien smiled proud of herself after she made Cassie laugh.
"So what are the sex positions I like?" She turned towards Pandora.
"I mean you don't have to answer, if you don't want to of course." She assured her after Dorcas asked, lacking tact.
Dorcas straightened, correcting herself.
"Yes, forgive me for my lack of manners."
"It's alright but I'm not an expert." Vivien claimed. She didn't know what to tell, uncertain of what she even liked and felt niceโmost intimacy she had was to most importantly pleasure boys. For Nolan her comfort was needless and that pleased himโwhen she wasnโt. For Edgar her orgasm was niceโbut there were times when it was optionalโnot a priority unlike his own.
"Pandora wants some suggestions to consider from someone who also likes boys."
Vivien pursed her lips, thinking intensely to say somethingโanything, when her throat closed with confusion when she didnโt know what she liked.
"I don't have too many suggestions. Mostly I am on top or-or taken from behind."
Regulus lowered the book to his face, his ears burning hellishly. God.
"Well, with one boy, Segsulus," The young witch told, testing him, their friends snickering silently, not disturbing the silence of the library.
"We did it like-" She put up her hands a little in the air, showing what she was talking about. "On our sides kind, lying. He was like beh-"
"Spooning, Vi. Spooning position."
Regulus' eyes didn't twitch away for a split second from the lines of his lecture.
Vivien's hands dropped motionless, disappointed that he had ruined her fun. Also feeling foolishโฆ
So the sex positions have names! AND REGULUS KNEW THEM THE WHOLE TIME?!
"Yes. The spooning position." Vi agreed, a little insulted, raising her nose in the air subtly. Whatever. "It was cute, you know. To have someone so close."
"What about the missionary position? It's like the first time perfect for you hetero couples, Vivi, and it's all about closeness too. Intimacy, easiness of it, and comfort." Cassie wondered, glancing at Vivien.
"I doubt riding is what most girls want to do, getting penetrated for the first time." Barty murmured, pointing to the erumpent in the room.
Vivien didn't know where the erumpent stood! She looked at Regulus, her face grimaced in confusion.
"What is a missionary?"
Evan chuckled at her asking the prude at the table.
Regulus sighed and closed his book, gazing at Vi.
"A girl lies on her back and a boy is on top of her."
"We didn't do that." She said.
"No, we didn't." He claimed caringly.
Vivien looked between Cassie and Barty.
"I haven't done such a thing in my life."
Even Evan knew that couldn't be the truth!
"Vivi, it's like the perfect position to lose virginity?" Barty mused, scratching his quirked brow carelessly.
"What are you talking about?" Vivien saw how everyone looked at her. It frustrated herโthe attention.
"Vivien, how did you lose your virginity?" Pandora questioned gently, careful, realising something bad had happened.
"I justโฆ rode Nolan?" Vivien confessed hesitantly, uncertain if it was a correct answer anymore.
JUST? OH!...
Regulus' stomach twisted at how lost Vivien was. She was seemingly frustrated, her cheek red as she heated.
Their friends lowered their heads, not joking anymore.
Vivien felt the untold tension. She felt stupid. She said something stupid but then the truth was stupid. I did what I said I did! She abruptly stood up, panicking. Her chair almost fell to the ground if it wasn't for Barty catching it.
"I need a book." She murmured nervously, everyone glancing up at her speedily hiding away between the lines of bookshelves, concerned.
Vivien rested her back against one of bookshelves, listening to silence that dragged after her-
"It was painful, wasn't it?" She heard Evan whisper.
She didn't hide far away enough to not.
"I can only imagine." Dorcas said seriously. "For a girl, first penetration can be uncomfortable. Vagina is like muscles that stretch out, but when touched for the first time, they are not adapted. It's very touchy. Also a girl is stressed not knowing what to expect. It all can be painful for some, even when it's done safely."
Vivien's heart ached. She made an idiot out of herself! They have to think I'm stupid! She rushed out of her hiding spot.
"And I doubt Vivien was anywhere close to being safe or prepared for her first time." Cassie continued, Vivien behind her backโshe would know it from Pandora's and Barty's looks if she wasn't so focused on Evan.
Vivien approached her chair with empty hands.
Dorcasโ words were followed quickly with apologies, "Shite. I'm sorry, Vivi."
She realised Vivien had heard her as she started packing her school bag.
"It's fine." Vivien choked out, tasting bile in her mouth after her stomach did one flip too much. She just threw her things in the bag and rushed downstairs towards the exit, her eyes drowning in tears.
Regulus stood up too, packing his shite.
"Reg, I swear I didn't mean to hurt Vi." Dorcas leaned on the table towards him, regretful that she had opened her mouth at all.
Regulus smiled sadly at her.
"She knows, Cas. It's not about you." He assured her, closing his school bag, marching after Vi to catch her and tame her nerves in his arms.
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ย ย ย ย ย But his Vi was on her knees in front of the toilet in the closest bathroom she found.
She was puking her inside out. When her stomach was emptied, she sloppily fell on her arse, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.
Vivien was so furious, lost, horrified, and ashamed. All these emotions tormented her from the inside as she tried her best to keep them there. Nolan turned her so fragile that the glassโthat she wasโcracked so easily. That was all he gave her.
He made sure that even if he wasn't in her life anymore, he would still make an idiot out of her. Stupid!
Vivien had no clue that there were comfortable positions to start an intimate life! No one told me! Of course, Nolan wasn't the one... She felt so stupid and frustrated!
"Shite!" She whisper-shouted, smashing her left fist repeatedly on the tiles, wishing to let out the tensionโto replace that pain with one she could handle.
As Regulus was passing the girls bathroom, he heard Vi. He paused, looking around. None else was there to hear her. He entered the room quietly. He saw Vi's school bag on the tiles by the sinks after she had to throw it there madly. And he saw Vivien's feet sticking out of one of the stalls.
She was sitting on the floor.
Regulus slowly came closer to the stall and opened the door slowly. Vi sat sloppily, leaning her back against the stall wall. She looked up at him, her always wild irises now given up.
Regulus crouched down and he cupped her face that she lowered, disgusted with herself. He wasnโt disgusted with herโnever could he. She didnโt fight his touch, and softly she raised her head.
"I don't understand. I am taking the potion now; you know that." She murmured, sniffing. "I am, Regulus. I promise I am."
Regulus closed the toilet and let water wash away Vivien's breakfast and lunch. He offered her helping hands to collect herself from the ground where she had scattered in pieces. Vi accepted them and he pulled her up to him.
"I know you are, Vi. But I don't think what you feel now comes from your health problem as much as it comes from the pain of things that happened to you last year." He whispered, his arms locking around her, bringing her into an embrace.
He felt her hands sneak under his jumper and rest warmly on his back for her comfort, needing to feel something truly realโlike skin against skinโnot intimately but affectionately.
"But I've been avoiding him, Regulus. I ignored his eyes when they tried to bother me and I ignored him whenever I passed him. We haven't talked since what happened in September, Regulus!" She gritted through her teeth angrily.
"Shhh. I know, Vi. I know. But avoiding isn't the same as forgetting. You still remember how Sullivan hurt you and so does your body. Your brain can't make any sense out of what happened, Vi. It's lost because there is no sense to it. There's no rational explanation for what had happened and your brain can't accept that you were hurt, and there is no reason for why you were punished with such sickening things when you didn't do anything bad."
He loosened his hands on her and they looked at each other.
Regulus was smiling sadly. With a movement of his head, he tipped towards the sinks. They moved there and he held Vivien's hair when she was washing her mouth and clearing her throat. He gave her a paper towel, and she dried her face and hands. They glanced at each other once Vi threw the towel in the rubbish bin under the sink. She rested her bum against the edge of the sink and sighed,
"My grandma didn't want me as an heir, but the issue was that I could always fight for my rightful place, and so could my child if I had one. So the solution was to make a fool out of me." She chuckled bitterly.
"She kept telling me that this sex thing was a bad thing growing up, and I believed herโespecially with how everyone shamed mama for it. Here at Hogwarts, I figured it was natural. It was something that could happen between two people, and it wasn't like the world-ending occurrence outraging all the goddesses. Your brother was always so open and he joked about it since I have met himโeven before he had it himself. I was not allowed at home to read things about bodies, and when I went to school I was too embarrassed of myself to borrow such a book or at least peep at it in the library because I was swayed that I was sinful for even thinking about my own body. Regulus, everything I ever learned about my body or your body, I did only thanks to friends. My grandma made the fool out of me that she always thought I was."
She swallowed thickly.
"Cassie was right. I wasn't prepared for my first time. I was naรฏve and innocent, Regulus. Back then, I was too shy to look down on boys when they were in clothes. I was petrified that my eyes would immediately combust in hellish flames if I looked at your crotch even if it was hidden by layers of clothes." She tried to joke lightheartedly, but neither of the two felt like laughing.
"Vi, if you're not ready to talk about it, I can wait as long as you need." Regulus declared.
Vivien had entrusted him with a lot lately, and he didn't want to overwhelm her.
She smiled faintly.
"I'm ready to tell you that little, if you are comfortable with it, Regulus."
He nodded, compressing his lips into a thin line. He leaned his bum beside Vivien. They glanced at each other but Vivien quickly broke it away, lowering her eyes. She spoke silently,
"When Nolan kissed me the first time in the HoneyDukes, it just happened. It's how it all feels. Things were just happening with Nolan. One moment we would kiss in HoneyDukes, another we would make out in his room. I can't tell you exactly when the first time he put his hand up my clothes. It feels like he was always squeezing on one of my breasts. I didn't like how rough he did it but I thought I wasn't even supposed to, so I let him."
"Everything was happening so soon with him. I barely had my first kiss and his hands already crept under my clothes. It was Saturday afternoon, Hogsmeade trip weekend. After we hung out in Hogsmeade, Nolan invited me to his dormitory. His roommates got lost around. We were kissing and I laid on my back. He was all over me, his hand on my breast and his crotch between my legs. Oftentimes, he tried to fasten things but I would ask him to slow down. That afternoon for the first time in my life, I felt an erection against me when he was pushing himself into me through his trousers. You know how those stupid skirts I wear roll. We were in clothes but mine weren't a lot. Everything happened so fast, Regulus, and it wasn't a good kind. It was a bad kind. I think I don't remember parts of it. He was kissing my neck and it felt like he was hitting me down there. I somehow told him again that I wasn't interested in sex for now. He groaned and fell to the side. I fixed my miniskirt but he was upset. I asked him if he was upset with me. He told me that for boys, the erections could turn-"
Vivien felt her throat close at how repulsive that lie was, the corners of her eyes prickling with sour tears.
"Painful if not used?" Regulus raised his eyebrow, his hands clenching on the sink. Out of the corner of her eyes, Vi saw his knuckles turn white.
She nodded, peeping at him. "How do you know this?"
"After the Halloween party, we didn't make love, Vi. You were too tired but we were already performing the foreplay until I caught you yawning like I told you, you remember?"
"Belly-kissing?"
"Yes. But you didn't want me to stop. You still wanted me to perform for myself. We argued because I didn't understand why you were so stubborn. When you were falling asleep, you asked if my erection wouldn't hurt. You called me his name."
Vivien put her hand up to her face to rub it. It was repulsive. Vivien repulsed herself.
"It's alright, Vi. You were too high." Regulus assured.
"Which is also my own fault."
"You were trying your best to survive the pain you are going through right now."
"So I made all the most irrational decisions."
Regulus let go of the sink and laid his hand on Vivien's higher back, rubbing it softly.
"And now you're doing all the rational ones, so it's all getting fixed, Vivien."
Vivien wanted to believe Regulus, but it was hard at the moment. She rolled her eyes at herself, returning to the topic.
"Yes, he told me his penis could ache. Yes, the silly Vi that I was, believed him in penisacheโcan you imagine that? A penisache? I felt bad. I wanted someone to like me. Weakly I laid my hand on him to feel it. Suddenly Nolan told me to undress, and I don't read people correctly a lot but I swear at that moment it was not a plea. He demanded. I got creeped out, Regulus." She whispered her last words. "I trusted him. It wasn't instinctive for me to bring my wand with me when he invited me to his dormitory. But he would always use his to block the door, so no one would walk on us kissing. I was terrified his dormmates would call me a slug for snogging, so it's like I asked myself to be trapped in a situation like that after I insisted on always having the door closed. But I didnโt want rumours, so my grandma wouldnโt hear them and punish me forโฆ I donโt even know. She would create a reason out of it. Nolan got naked too. I was so scared to face him after he told me to take off my camisole too. I tried to cover my breasts with my hair. He was sitting on his bed fully naked and resting like that. He was erected. He told me to join him. And I did. I thought that maybe if I tried for his sake, he would let go of this sex-subject later. He took my hands in his and pulled me delicately on top of him. I sat down on his thighs with his cock against my pubis, and he laughed. I thought it could be even nice after all. He told me to lift my arse. He was holding my hip when he pointed his tip against me. I was nervous when he told me to sit down on himโon it. It hurt. I don't think I even took his tip in when I stopped. I told him it wasn't comfortable, and I felt his finger drill in my sides. He asked me something like if I thought all those times when I teased him and gave him nothing were comfortable for him. He told me to loose and moved his hands onto my arse. I felt tears gather in my eyes when he said that once I took it in, my cunt would get used to it. That it would stretch out." Vivien shut her eyes tightly.
She sobbed out,
"He pushed me down by my hips and I cried out. Nothing got used to anything. It hurt and hurt, Regulus. He told me to move and I sobbed for him to stop. He grabbed me tightly and was moving me up and down for his enjoyment. I was too petrified to say something or do. I just cried, hoping he would stop, but he made me only pound on him harder and harder when it all hurt. My body was trembling from pain. I think it gave him all the pleasureโthat I was hurting. It felt like he was ripping meโhe was too wide. I cried even after he finished. I was likeโฆ stuck on him from pain, so he pushed me down. He told me to get dressed, when he went for a quick shower. I bled, Regulus. I bled, but I put my panties and the rest of my clothes on. When he came out of the bathroom in a towel, he opened the door for me and told me to leave. I tried my best to not cry all over again, but when I was walking up the Grand Stairs, it hurt the most and-"
She tasted nausea all over again in her mouth. She swallowed it down.
"And I felt the whole time how my panties were getting disgusting when my blood and his-his-"
Vivien dug her nails into the palms of her hands.
"He and my blood were dirtying my panties. Aching, I ran up the stairs before all that could soak through my stockings. My dormitory was empty. I cried in the bathtub instead of washing. I never felt violated like that before. I told myself I overreacted, and it was how it was supposed to be. Mary and Alice never seemed like I felt, so I thought I was exaggerating. I went to bed before the girls came back, and when they did I pretended to sleep. But the truth was, I was the last one to fall asleep. I slept maybe for over an hour that night when Barty found me sleeping on the couch in the common room, where I spent most of the night crying my eyes out. A few mornings later, I had an infection. Even peeing hurt for fucking sake. I didn't know what to do and I wrote a letter to ma saying that I did something with a boy and he didn't use protection and that I was afraid I was infected and expecting. But there was no owl back. I went to Madame Pomfrey. I had no one else to ask for help. I was too scared to ask my friends about that kind of thing on my own. And it's Pomfrey's job to help students. I told her that I did something with a boy, but we didn't use protection. I told her that peeing hurt like hellโthat it might be the punishment for sinning. She told me it wasnโt to make sure I always pee after I am intimate. I was worried she would tell McGonagall that I admitted to breaking a rule but she never did. When I was sitting on one of the beds waiting for her to brew one potion and find the other, I felt so disgusted. I began crying. Pomfrey came to me to check on me. I told her that what I did with that boy hurt me. I told her I bled during and after the act. I showed her the bruises on my waist that Nolan left. She asked me if I wanted to do what we did. I said I didn't but he made me even when I cried. But when she asked me for the name, I couldn't tell on him, Regulus. It was my fault. I befriended Nolan. I visited his room. I was kissing him. I was provoking him. I would ask him to close the door. I was the one not carrying my wand around him. And I was the one putting on those skirts that would tease boys into treating me like my mama or worse. It was all my fault."
Vivien tried so bravely to stay strong, but bearing down the frustration, confusion, and sorrow was too much for her. She looked up at Regulus. He saw her eyes turn teary. His eyes were teary too. They were both on the edge of crying.
Regulus felt so sick for Vi. His poor, sweet Vi was so lost but so loathsome to herself.
"Vi, what Nolan did was never your fault." He sniffed, stopping his urge to break out in tears.
"Maybe but I went back to him after that, Regulus. When I laid my hand on his crotch, he took something from me and I let him. After he stole that something, I felt like I didn't deserve better anyway because I didn't scream at himโI didn't fight himโI didn't do enough to stop what happened, Regulus. And I kept returning until he stole all of that. And now all I feel is empty, longing for the thing he stole from me."
Vivien missed her innocence and pure spirit, now feeling corrupted and like an object. She blamed herself, even though it was someone else who brutally tore that piece of her away.
Regulus knew it would take more than a few words to help her with her pain, shame, and guilt. But he was sure that a million words could change her mood at least, so he would use all of them. He leaned close to Vivien. She let him and he rested his forehead against hers. He didn't know how to touch her without overwhelming her, but touch her enough to show her he was there for her and he would always be there.
"You were bleeding, Vi, and it didn't stop him. If you fought, he would only hurt you worse. You know that. You were horrified and he was pleased with that. What Nolan did to you is only his fault. He did the only irrational thing he possibly could. He chose to take advantage of you because he knew you were pure and he victimised you for his enjoyment."
Vivien felt safe after she told Regulus even the most repugnant details about her first time and he still didn't look down at her. He stuck their foreheads together and told her exactly what she needed to hear. She felt a tear roll down her cheek.
"Can I?" He asked.
Vi nodded her head gently. She felt Regulus carefully wipe off that tear.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus had to praise Vivien for being brave.
An idea came to his mind. Another Hogsmeade trip was coming. Only not long before, Vivien had learned that she was actually being asked out on dates by boys, so all their efforts didn't count.
Theoretically, Regulus could act like a true gentleman and be the first boy to ask her on an actual date without Vi calling it a casual meeting with a friend. He was already challenged the last trip.
Now Regulus was up to the challenge of cheering up Vi. He had the whole plan in his head. He would take her for a walk around, so then they could take a steamy break at the Baker's teashop to warm. It was a clichรฉ and effortless place for a date since every single couple at Hogwarts was there at least once, but it didn't seem Vi even knew the effortless minimum. Regulus would let her decide on her own if she liked the teashop, even if it was a laughable place for most of their schoolmates. Afterwards, they could go shopping wherever she wanted to. The last stop would be a butterbeer at the Three Broomstick before they could finish their afternoon in Regulus' dormitory and share a nice good sleep after his prefect duties.
Black had already asked Evan if it would be a problem for him to stay out of the room until the time Regulus got out for his prefect patrols. Of course Evan Rosier just smirked and patted him on the shoulder. Not a single one, brother, Regulus started noticing the effects Barty had on Evan. Interestingly, Regulus wasn't assuming he would do anything of the things that Evan's tone suggested, but he knew it could turn very touchy with Vi's sticky fingers.
By Thursday, Regulus had decided it was his time to shine. He didn't want Vi to think that she was his last option after the last time he tried to ask her out too late like an arseclown that he was. Regulus approached the Slytherin table, where his friendsโincluding Viโwere sitting. Barty, Pandora, and Dorcas sat on one side, Vivien and Evan on the other.
Regulus was grinning, sitting beside Vi. He was in a great mood all day. Surprisingly, Pandora was the first to giggle. Dorcas and Evan snorted and Barty smirked at the clown that Regulus was with his obvious behaviour.
"Hi Rebulus," Vi beamed at Regulus lightly, seeing him so happy.
"Hi beautiful," He replied.
Vi's heart skipped a beat. She smiled even sweeter with her dimples. He was very affectionate towards her in every way he could probably think of since the morning that day. At first, he sugarcoated her with his words and glazed all over her with his eyes, making her blush.
He was so sweet that it made her want to throw herself into his arms and kiss him all over his little angelic face. He acted so kind.
Vi snacked on the rest of her food, smiling.
Meanwhile, Regulus put some meat pie on his own plate and cut it into pieces. The lunch was silent, as everyone was waiting to see what he would do, voices and noises a whisper. He did nothing, and it got Evan tapping his foot.
Vi stood up to leave and Regulus let her do so after she bowed her head politely at everyone. When she was far away enough, Evan moved to Regulus on the bench to scold him, but he began putting the pieces of meat pie into his mouth like a caveman. He put the knife up to stop Rosier from slowing him down.
Regulus stood up, gulping down the pumpkin juice and nearly threw the cup on the table. What the fuck. Vi was already at the doorway with other students, leaving for her class. Even though Regulus would see her soon in Potion, he chased after her like it was his only chance.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Vi?"
Vivien took the last step on stairs, biting on her bottom lip, when she heard Regulus call her.
She turned around, facing very fastly moving Regulus. In the blink of an eye, he caught her in his arms. She squealed, surprised.
He spinned her around like they were acting out some romance scene in the theatre. Such a dramatic act, especially with how they stood by the edge of stairs.
Some students looked at them suspiciously. Passing, some girls gawkedโenvious of Vivien. The young couple ignored the stares.
Vi tilted her head once Regulus placed her back down.
"What is it, doll?" She said, resting her hands on the sides of his neck, his hands on her waist.
"I've been thinkingโwould you go on a date with me?"
Vivien grinned widely.
Regulus told her she had been asked out before but all the boys did it in such awkward ways that she would never figure it out on her own. She thought she was hanging out with boys and not going out on dates with them, assuming she had a lot of friends. So obviously to stand out, Regulus made sure that he didn't disappoint with the message being loud and clear for her.
"That's why you're so brilliant with your words today, little star. Why didn't you ask me without all that show?"
Regulus leaned closer to Vi, brushing his nose against her scrunched one.
"Because you, my Highness, got me high today. And the queen that you are deserves only the best quality. Normal would be of too low quality for the star I am. I can only offer special treatment, I fear."
Regulus spoke very weirdly, making Vi giggle. She had to get him truly high. He grinned wider, seeing his pretty girl laughing.
"You were scared I would decline if you would do that privately." She joked, joyful.
"Oh, that too." He claimed playfully.
"You had me intrigued by everything you have to offer the moment you said during breakfast that you're not hungry because the only snack you crave to feast on sits beside you but that table is no place for you to eat it out. Unless you meant Barty, then I am insulted." Vivien's toothy grin glued to her face.
"No, no. I meant you, my sweetest Vi." He said, teasingly taking a look at the whole Vi he held in his arms. "Yes, very much, the whole you."
He took a deep breath in like she was a freshly baked good. She was as she smelled like apples and cinnamon. If Regulus could, he would consume Vi. Maybe not right there for any other student to see all of her beauty, but surely right then when she was so appetising.
"I would cherish the date with you, Regulus."
Vivien said, bringing him into a kiss, fireworks exploding in her belly, butterflies fluttering with their wings in her chest. Their lips ebbed like they flowed on waves, deep but slow.
They were smiling against each other's lips, students leaving the Great Hall for their classes, the lunch break was coming to an end.
Regulus pulled Vivien tightly into him to save her from being bumped into or elbowed.
Only the clearing of someone's throat caused them two to separateโjust a little bit. Professor Flitwick stood a few stairs down behind them.
"Beauchรชne, Black. There are places and times for affectionโhere and now are neither of them. Move to Professor Slughorn's classroom."
Flitwick confirmed Regulus' words. It was no place for consuming Vi, but any time could be a time for Vi if the two were at Regulus' dormitory. The young couple noticed their friends standing behind Flitwick, laughing at them.
"She said yes." Regulus still announced like the arseclown he was.
"Obviously, Mister Black." Professor Sprout commented, unsurprised. A few Hufflepuffs following her to the Greenhouse snorted, including Bones with his friends.
Flitwick gestured with his hands for the young couple to hurriedly move on and stop blocking the way for other students and professors.
Slughorn appeared delighted with the whole spectacle,
"Oh, let them be, Professor Flitwick."
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ย ย ย ย ย Pandora watched Vi the whole Saturday morning as she knew Regulus and Vi weren't meeting until two. But Vi got up early, and the first thing she did was go for breakfast and the potion. Emmeline was still sleeping.
Em opened her eyes to the sight of Sybie explaining to Vivien how a razor worked. All of them went on a date or two before, but none of the girls could understand what kind of date Vivien was going on with Regulus. Emmeline and Sybill were astonished after Vi wanted to shave herself here and there.
Vi ignored her dormmates giggling.
She knew Regulus wasn't the type of boy to make love with her in the middle of Hogsmeade, but he was the type of boy to make it after their trip, and Vi wanted that! She wanted to make love with him again so badly! And she wanted to feel the prettiest, which meant trying and discovering new things too.
Every girl Vivien knew always would look the cutest on her dates. Why wouldn't Vi want to do the same?
Vi shaved her hair between her legs for the first time in her life having hair shaved at all. Unfortunately, she had to ask Sybie for a potion to heal the wound after she cut herself, causing her girl-friends to wince. She moisturised every inch of her body and Bibie helped her paint all of her nails after she chose Regulus' favourite colourโemerald greenโtotally coincidentally as always.
Vi spent minutes looking in her drawer for matching panties and braโthe one that would still fit her subtly growing breasts nicely. It was quite a challenge but she found a matching set with purple tulips sewn on. She chose a simple miniskirt in black colour made of mooncalf velour and a lavender cardigan that she tucked in.
Vivien wasn't sure what her mother meant when she had told her to always sprinkle her ankles with perfume once she started dating. Since she was going on her first date, it was the perfect moment to find out.
Even Em's eyes almost fell out. Vi sprinkled her ankles with her favourite perfume before putting on her black stockings, which were charmed to keep her warm in low temperature.
While Vi was styling her hair, she used the Sleekeazy's Hair Gel that would keep them untouched from the hat or the wind [and else]. Lastly, she put the engagement ring on her finger to match her painted nails. She slipped in her dark brown coat with fur and black boots.
Pandora, Sybill, and Emmeline sat on one bed, watching Vi. Dolled-up, she turned around to them.
"How do I look?" She was a pure joy with her cute dimples and radiant smile.
"Black could never deserve all that." Emma winked, wishing to boost Vi's small confidence.
"You look pretty as always, Vivi." Sybie complemented too.
"If Reg won't make it to the Hogsmeade with his weak knees, you can only blame yourself for that." Pandora remarked.
Vivien came up to her and hugged her. She hugged Em too.
In the end, she cupped Bibie's face and kissed all over it for the help that she was to her with shaving and painting nails.
Vivien truly was in the best mood. Positively surprised, girls looked between each other after experiencing such affection from Vivien, who grabbed the little purse and the hat from her bed to rush out of the dormitory, all excited.
It was exciting to have a boy's attention, especially when the boy could be such a sweetie that Regulus was.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was supposed to meet Vi at the main exit. He stood with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, waiting by the fountain. He checked the time nervously. His watch showed two.
Black could be more nervous than he would want to admit. He showed at their meeting spot fifteen minutes before. And once it was the time, he was shitting himself. Vi had to panic and stood him up with the whole l-word matter, which they still didn't talk about.
Black was shitting himself, thinking he did too much and overwhelmed her. He tried his best to stay cool. He turned away from the castle so he wouldn't watch the stupid entrance like a loser, hoping that every person going through it was Vi. He felt like he was shaking inside, hollow and light, close to panicking.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien walked out of the castle and gazed around until she found Regulus. He nonchalantly stood at the fountain, turned away.
But Vi could tell that typically for him, he had his hands buried in the pockets of his trousers. She came closer to him slowly.
Regulus' heart jumped out of his chest, feeling a hand on his back. He looked to Vi, who was grinning the widest. Such a cute thing with her dimples and blushโthat all would taste so sweet on his tongue.
"Hi beautiful,"
"Hi the beautifullest,"
Regulus felt the weight of the world drop from his shoulders that tried to drag him down. He took a biggest breath in and outโViโs presence was like half of the date's success.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vi felt like she was lied to! If other boys thought that they were asking her out on dates, then they knew shite about dates!
Regulus had his arm wrapped around Vi's shoulders, keeping her close to his side like someone was about to try and snatch her from him. She had her arm wrapped on his waist.
That day Regulus was Vi's knight in shining armour. Other boys knew shite about being that. Although the temperature was freezing, the weather wasn't bad.
Vi and Regulus strolled towards the Hogsmeade, laughing. It didn't feel forced or overdone. It felt like every dayโsimply, they were doing something more interesting than going to classes and other boring things. They froze off their bums, and Regulus took Vi to the small cute teashop. She knew a lot of students cringed at it.
But it's pink!
It occurred to Regulusโit was all that Vivien needed, when her eyes sparked when he approached the door.
The little bell rang when Regulus held the door for Vi. She entered first. A short, old woman with grey hair approached them immediately. She was very smiley as she walked them to the gaudy table by the window. She left them to bring a menu. The chairs were on two sides of the tableโRegulus and Vi had an unspoken understanding to move them closer to each other. After Regulus pulled the chairs together, he helped Vi take off her coat.ย As she was sitting down, he took off his coat and joined her soon.
The inside of the teashop was a little bit tacky, full of frills and bows. There were three other couples there at the moment. Deep down, Regulus liked that place. There were a lot of pink elements and a few red ones that were an ache for the eyes but the wood of the furniture set was painted in a green shade.
Regulus' favourite green shadeโashy greenโthe colour of the prettiest girl's irises he had ever seen that sat beside him on a date like it was nothing. Vi's and Regulus' shoulders brushed against each other when old Miss Baker brought them the menu. She glanced between them delighted like Slughorn had.
Maybe it was just the aura of the old, loving people. Vi wouldn't know anything about that.
"I will be back in five minutes, huns." That old lady almost sang melodically, disappearing again.
Regulus hooked his arm around Vi's waist and grasped the menu, holding it up for them two to look through. Vi laid her hand on his, stroking his wrist, when they read the menu.
Vivien's irises flickered after her pupils met the brownie on the list of cakes and pies. And Eden was worried if she would even like it!
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ย ย ย ย ย Vi was stupefied. Regulus ordered a lemon drizzle cake with a black tea for himself. She was savouring her brownie and cacao. Black was eating his cake with appetite, she only saw him having meat pies [or additionallyโher].
She smiled under her nose.
"What?" Regulus asked after Vi kept peeping at him.
"Nothing." She shrugged, peeping at him again.
Although they sat by the window, they never looked outside it. Some students passing it looked at them making heart-shaped eyes at each other at the tea shop and snickered.
Still, Regulus and Vi didn't notice it.
When they were done with their desserts, Regulus ordered another drink for Viโa tea with honey that time. He gazed at her. She looked heart-stopping and breath-taking.
Regulus felt his chest tighten. He thought that all of that beauty went on a date with none other than him. But again, the same thoughts ruined it for him, reminding him she didn't actually like him. She simply had no other choice than to like him after his family corrupted the only good thing in his life. The pocket of his trousers burned and he couldnโt wait.
He had to fix what was done. Just that little at least.
"Here." Miss Baker placed the tea in front of Vivien and she smiled.
"Thank you." She murmured before Miss Baker walked away.
When Vi faced Regulus, he slowly reached for her hand. He held it, glancing at it, his thumb touching the ring she wore. And he somehow seemed sad because of it. Vivien thought he would like it.
Regulus' heart ached at the emerald stone. It was like a signature on an arrangement. By wearing it, Vivien was agreeing to not fight, being bought by his family and sold to him under the condition that her brothers stayed safe. She did so much for her brothers and the evening before the beginning of the school year, Regulus promised them that he would keep her safe.
Regulus would hear whispers around Hogwarts, repeating that Vivien got sold to him but he didn't want Vi to believe in that. She was not an object to be sold. She was a person and he would never use her like a tool.
"I have something for you, Vi." He spoke up silently, letting go of her hand.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, watching him dig for something in his pocket. After a second, he laid a small box on the table. Vivien looked between him and the thing. He pushed it towards her, encouraging her to see for herself what it was protecting. It was a small velvety box in the colour of red wine.
Vi hesitantly accepted it. She took it in her hands and opened it gently. Inside she saw a ring. It was sculpted in the shape of a snakeโbut it was actually how she liked her jewelleryโrose gold. It was majestic. Vivien liked animals.
Nonetheless, she glanced at Regulus, putting the box down slowly.
"What is this?" She tilted her head, slightly lost.
Regulus held his hand out for Vi without a word. She laid hers in it and he gently squeezed it.
"This is my promise to you, Vivien. My promise that I will keep you safe in this mess, no matter what happens. This is my promise that you are my first and only priority in this arrangement. And this is my promise that you are not something that my family could buy for me. You are your own person, and I will never dare to take that from you, Vivien. You are yours and only yours." He assured her in a whisper, smiling sadly.
Vi melted from his warmth.
She never had a single expectation for him, especially like thisโto protect her. And she never felt unsafe around him.
Vivien untangled their fingers and cupped Regulusโ face. She realised they hadn't kissed yet that day and Regulus deserved it. She linked her lips with his, so intimately but so innocently. His hand found its way to her cheek.
They tasted sweet like the cakes they ate.
Regulus parted away.
"I meant this, Vi. You don't have to convince yourself to even like me if you don't."
In his worst moods, Regulus took those thoughts into consideration, and it twisted his heart every time. It felt like someone was crushing his soul.
Vivien's brows furrowed.
"What do you mean?" She whispered, stroking his soft skin with her thumb. "I like you, Rebulus." She claimed, but for some reason no matter how many times she did that, Regulus doubted it. He smiled tightly.
Vi glanced at the ring.
"It's a magnificent gift, doll, but I can't accept it. It's too expensive."
"Which is how you deserve it, Vi. Price is not an issue." It was trueโmoney was not an issue. Vivien's family was wealthy enough to buy a shop full of signets like that for Regulus.
But she didn't know if it didn't mean too muchโif emotionally it wasn't too expensive for Regulus. She didn't want him to think about her before himself. It was noble but Vivien didn't want Regulus to be noble. She wanted him to be safe.
"Regulus-"
"Vi, accept it as a symbol of our friendship." He interrupted her suddenly but politely with his tender tone. "I'm a fiancรฉ you didn't dream of, but I am a friend you choose to have and I want you to know whatever is mine is yours. And I want you to keep this ring. You don't have to even wear it."
Vivien bit her bottom lip, listening to Regulus. She nodded her head. She took off the engagement ring his parents gave her and she put on his promise ring.
"Would it be alright?" She asked, referring to how she hid the old engagement ring in the box.
"It would."
"It won't offend your parents?"
"I already wrote to them that I want you to have a real ring from me truly."
Vivien never felt being thought about so much as Regulus was making her. In the short time they shared together, he put a lot of effort into their friendship and he never made her feel like an option. She was always the plan. Despite the brownie she had devoured, she felt beastly-like hunger. She wanted to consume Regulus so badly.
Vi did something that caused Regulus to widen his eyes. She smashed her lips on his suddenly, and he felt her handโher smaller handโtravel on his inner thigh. Surprised, he separated, looking with big eyes, if anyone noticed her touching him secretly like that in public. Other couples were too into each other and he heard Miss Baker hum under her nose somewhere in the kitchen in the back. Some students and villagers were passing the window of the teashop, not knowing what was happening behind it.
When Regulus' eyes met Vi's, she was smirking, not caring how she was misbehaving in public. He smirked too, kissing her. Their lips slow, their movements deep.
Chapter 31: lucky
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The date was peaceful. Vivien and Black went for a little shopping around Hogsmeade and came for a break at Three Broomsticks. It was too crowded for Vi, who asked to go back to Hogwarts. Regulus didnโt mind. It was too noisy for their perfect little date. It was slowly getting darker as Vi was swinging her and Regulus' hands, their fingers tangled together. After the teashop, she was behaving sinlessly.
"I hate to admit it but Vivien Mallory Black sounds better than Regulus Arcturus Beauchรชne." Vi argued with a heavy heart.
The young couple was talking about who would take the last name after the wedding if it happened. Vivien knew it would be her taking Regulus' whether she liked it or not, which would probably cherish the shite out of her dead grandmaโVivien becoming someone else's issue.
In a perfect world, Regulus would love to take Vi's last name even if she didn't like the sound of that. It was a tradition in her family. But he knew he was meant to be an heir of his own family, and his parents would have heart attacks at the slightest suggestion of him marrying into someone else's family.
"Does it?" Regulus tilted his head, opening his dorm door for Vi.
"Obviously." Vivien entered, glancing at him over her shoulder.
Then he followed and they both looked around, sniffing something.
Oh, for Merlin sake, the room was tidied to perfection. Every photo and picture was hidden, and the curtains on the window were closed. Around Regulus' bed candles were floating and there were rose petals on the blanket.
It all smelled nice, sensual.
Regulus nearly dropped Vivien's shoppings, his cheeks and neck heating at how suggestive it all was.
Vivien smiled, knowing it couldn't be Regulus to prepare the room like this. He wouldn't be the one to light the candles because they could melt by the time he was back with her. She slowly took off her coat and hat, leaving them on Evan's bed and placing her boots by it.
Regulus left his and Vi's things on Evan's bed too. They went to the bathroom to wash their hands like the scenery in the room was natural. After they returned to the room, Regulus came closer to his nightstand. He looked at two bottles his friends left for the young pairโone bigger and the other smaller. The bigger one was a fairy-made primrose wineโthe one Vi liked. The other bottle's label was turned away, and Regulus could swear he recognised the shape and size of it.
He wouldn't... Regulus turned it around and nearly fainted, hollow and light-headed.
OH MERLIN! HE DID! Someone had to keep Evan and Barty apart.
Regulus felt Vivien's hands lock around his torso, facing the bottle with him.
Vivien watched Regulus smack down the bottle of intimate oil suddenly. He straightened against her, the bottle smashing and lubricant spilling on his nightstand. Regulus felt hot as Vi rested her chin on his shoulder, observing the puddle of oil getting bigger and bigger.
"Shame." She murmured. "I wanted to try it."
His ears burned! Regulus snapped around to meet her. He took a deep breath in and out to calmly elaborate, when his first reaction was to stress the shite out of himself.
Vivien straightened.
"Vi, I didn't take you on a date to just get you in my bed. All this is a joke from our friends. I didn't assume we would do anything like that. I mean, I asked Evan to leave the dormitory for our use for a few hours, but to do anything you want to."
Vivien gazed at Regulus, shitting himself for no reason.
"We can drink the wine and lay in bed, or I can read you and then we could nap. This wasn't my intention." He said seriously, his eyes steadily drawing the lines of her face.
Vi smiled, gently lying her hands on Regulus' chest.
"But it is my intention. I want to make some use of that joke.
She whispered, glancing deeply into his cloudy eyes. She delicately pushed him down to sit on his bed and he willingly dripped down.
Regulus studied Vi, who took a seat on his laps. He rested his hands on her hips to keep her close.
She leaned towards his lips and stroked them with hers. She gazed at him, giving him a chance to decline her offer if he didn't feel like making love that day.
Regulusโ lips slowly rippled to hers, swimming together. It was slow and deep.
He felt her hands voyage from his chest onto his neck, their lips consuming each other after all that time that they spent starving for one another. Regulusโ hands ebbed on the waters of Vivien's body. He untucked her cardigan and began undoing its buttons.
She broke apart to look at him and his doings, her chest slowly discovered for him to explore more.
"Is it alright?" He asked her.
Vivien was always terrified to be the first to be undressed but Regulus treated her so kindly...
"Yh-ym." She nodded her head and kissed him passionately again.
When Vi's cardigan was unbuttoned, Regulus sneaked his hand under it. He could tell that his beautiful girl was wearing a bra that day from how her breasts lacked their natural shape, which he loved so much.
The young pair kissed passionately but Vivien felt Regulusโ hands on her shoulders to take off her cardigan completely. After a split second, it landed on the ground.
Regulus pulled away but Vi felt his fingers stroking her ribs.
"Vi, I would like to see the whole you." He murmured, looking between Vi and her chest.
Regulus wasn't asking for anything he hadn't seen before or anything Vi wasn't ready to show him, stepping over his lines. But it still made Vivien nervous, horrified by the spotlight pointed at her.
And she was frustrated! She spent like ten minutes looking for that bra and Regulus just like that wanted to take it off of her! He didn't even see my panties! The set was cute, and Regulus didn't even give it a minute of silence to appreciate it!
"You don't like my bra?"
"I don't like you in bras. They're hiding some of your goods." Black smirked.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows. Regulus could swear he saw the fussiness of Vi's features at what she heard. She didn't like something he said. She didn't like anything he said! She got up and her back faced him after she fussily sat on her heels.
"Can you even unclip the bra?" She moved her hair from her back to the front.
It felt like Vi just called Regulus a virgin in a different dialect. He chuckled cockily.
Vivien felt his hands on her back and the bra loosen, when his warm breath lingered against her skin.
He whispered into her ear, "Without an effort."
Regulus began kissing along Vivienโs neck.
She felt the straps of her bra slip down her shoulders and the material uncovering her breasts, Regulus looming over her like a shadow.
The nerves won. Vivien laid her hands on her chest, bringing the bra back to her body to cover it.
"Vi?"
"I-" She hesitated. "I don't know." She whispered, looking down on herself in shame and discomfort.
Regulus smiled and he kissed her on the shoulder to soothe her, seeing she was stressed.
Vi felt him backing away. Over her shoulder, she glanced at him, hearing noises.
Regulus pulled his jumper over his head, uncovering himself to her first. His jumper fell to the ground to join her cardigan, encouraging her to do the same with her bra. Vivien glanced at him. She turned to him, pressing the bra into her chest. She glanced around his torso, taking time to get comfortable. Her arms eased, slipping on her tummy with the bra sliding down too.ย
Regulus' cloudy eyes weighted so little on her that she let the bra fall on the mattress, letting him see her properly. Regulus swept the bra away before admiring the view that Vi was. He grasped her waist, instructing her to lay down. She willingly did, and he towered over her.
"Beautiful." He came after her tits, leaving kisses on her skin.
Vi felt a shiver, his tongue fondling one of her softly aroused nipples. She took a shaky breath through her mouth. Regulus was so heavenly that his touch didn't even feel real. His lips strolled down to her belly, tracing every rib, freckle, mole and so on.
She heard him murmur, "All beautiful."
She melted under his warm lips.
Somehow, she pushed herself onto her elbows and he looked up at her. She smiled amorously, gesticulating with her finger playfully for him to come to her. He smirked, doing so.
Vivien kissed Regulus, her hands tracking his waist. In a few moments, she was sitting on his crotch, how they both liked it. They were kissing intensely and Regulus felt Vivien tempt him by rubbing them both through the layers of materials of their clothes. Vivien felt a throbbing sensation in her pussy at the friction, and she whimpered against Regulus' mouth.
His fingers pinched delicately one of her hard aroused nipples.
"Oh, I see how it is. We are feeling good."
Vivien nodded before straightening in her seat that he was, towering over him, her hands on his shoulders.
"I want to feast on your body until my death but I'm scared you won't last till then, Regulus." She confessed flirtatiouslyโฆ romantically even.
Regulus' heart skipped a beat. Vivien was towering over him like the Eiffel tower, saying such lustful things about himโputting him under her spell, charming him, enchanting him.
"I guess you need to make proportions of me so I will last long enough for that, Vi."
"I don't know if I am strong enough to resist hunger like that." She bit her bottom lip, her heart thudded in her breasts from the confession she made.
Regulus felt a flutter of butterflies in his chest. His lips parted with a shallow breath from how she kept taking it away,
"I-" love you. WHATTHEFUCKREGULUS.DON'TSAYIT.DON'TSAYIT.DON'TSAYIT!
It was like his brain tricked him.
Vi observed Regulus malfunction. He got stuck at the beginning of his own sentence. She was intrigued with what was going through his head. She tilted her head.
"Am I making you speechless?"
Regulus smirked nonchalantly, gathering himself hurriedly. "Everyday."
Vivien left a last good kiss on his mouth before she began wandering down his body. She was sloppily sucking the skin on Regulus' neck until it was all consumed. She moved to his collarbone, where she pinched him, making him whimper for her.
Regulus smirked, Vi pecking and nipping all over his chest. She began kissing him lower on his abdomen, her lips wandering along his happy trail that was leading under his trousers, where Regulus had a growing bulge. She started undoing his belt and the zipper. Regulus didn't try to act shy at all. He helped Vi take his trouser down with his boxers at once, leaving him all naked for her.
Vivien blushed when that modest boy towered over her in a matter of seconds. He crashed his lips on hers, finally creating a French kiss on her French lips, missing the lack of their casual fight. He opened his lips for her.
He opened her legs too, holding her thighs apart. She felt him tempt her like she did to him. He rubbed his length on her through the pathetic fabric of her stockings and panties. She liked that pressure. She softened, her hips wiggling to adapt to the perfect angle. It was too hard. Vivien, in fact, was not able to resist Regulus since he was aware of how exactly to curse her with his dark magic.
Regulus grinned, feeling Vi squirming against him.
"Tell me Vi what you want, and I will do it." He murmured, pushing himself up.
For the first time in his life he saw Vi touch one of her breasts and the view of her playing with her own tit made him twitch.
"I want you to undress me until there's nothing to take off, doll." She said silently.
It made Regulus twitch so badly. Vivien was a master hunter, who knew too well how to lure any prey. She knew too well what a teenage boy like Regulus would want to hear. He didn't have to be told twice! He didn't waste time, unbuttoning her skirt. He yanked it from under Vi's bum to the floor.
"Carefully." She warned, seeing him pulling her stockings too excitedly, nearly tearing them by accident.
"Sorry." He apologised, composing himself a little from how erratic he was in his enthusiasm.
Lastly Regulus glanced at the panties. OH, THOSE PANTIES.
Vivien giggled when Regulus was contemplating her panties like they were a masterpiece. He was so close to laying his hand on his heart, having cardiac arrest.
Regulus could die with this view on his mindโVi left only in her little panties, touching her titties and giggling so sweetly for him.
"I'm sorry, am I making you laugh, Vi?" He teased, his head tilting.
"Just a little bit." She showed with her fingers how much.
Regulus rested his hand on Vi's pubis to stroke her slit with his finger.
"Obviously, you were never in bed with Vivien Beauchรชne."
"I actually had spent every single night with her for over sixteen years." She joked, feeling him stroke her and making her brows soften at how sensitive she was under his touch.
"Lucky." He chuckledโhe could sell his soul to the devil to have her every night for another sixteen years.
Finally he did what she wanted the most. He hooked his fingers and took her panties down. They both didn't know what to expect.
Other times, Vi was hostile about showing Regulus too much of her most private parts. For the first time, she let her legs relax. She kept them close. But that was the difference: closeโnot closed.
Regulus looked at her exploratory. Vi swallowed, playing with her breast, trying to release some inner tension she felt. She nodded her head, and he softly caught her thighs in his hands, parting her legs to the sides.
Vivien was stressed when Regulus looked at her. She felt self-conscious. She shaved all her hair, and he could see everything perfectly. The hair could mask the ugliness!
Regulusโ head tilted to the other side and gazed up at her.
"Vi?"
"Hm?"
"Where is your hair?" OH! He has to think the same!
"I shaved them off." Vivien raised herself on the elbows. "You don't like it?"
"Shaved them off?" Regulus repeated after her, his brows knitting together, bewildered. He heard about men shaving the hair of their heads or their faces off, but girls shaving their body hair down there?
WHAT THE FUCK?
"Yes. Muggles do this." She elaborated, embarrassed.
Of course! Muggles!, those could be stupid creatures in their natural habitat.
"You don't like it?" Vivien asked again.
Stupid cunt! You really thought he would like the view of an ugly you! She began closing her legs with Regulus' hands loosely resting on them. She embarrassed herself.
Regulus saw the pink dust on Vivien's cheeks and he realised he had made her ashamed of herself. She was about to close her thighs together. She did that for him because she thought he would like it!
"I-" love everything about you. "-like your body the way you like it, Vi. I just never heard about such a practice. You look beautiful but I don't think it can be healthy."
Vivien stopped closing her legs, observing him cautiously, hearing him before deciding.
"You're beautiful no matter what but that's the gift I cannot accept, Vi. If you decide to do anything with your body, I want you to only do it for yourself. Your pussy is sensitive. The hair protects you from the bacteria outside trying to get inside, don't they?" He assured he didnโt think of her to be disgusting or ugly.
It was Regulus who surprised Vi! Attentively, she observed him squeezed her thighs. He lowered himself to kiss one of them on the inside! And then the other! Vivien felt throbbing between her parted legs. Lord have mercy! Regulus saw Vi suck her belly in, making her desperate for him.
"Vi, do you want some wine?" He sat up maliciously, driving her mad.
"What?" She already felt drunk, her eyes widened from how they wished to close.
"Do you want some wine?" He glanced at her, repeating.ย
"I don't think I should be drinking."
Truthfully, Vi didn't want Regulus to drink either, but she wouldn't stop him if he felt like it. He got up and moved on the bed towards the nightstand, where the bottle in the puddle of lubricant stood.
"Great."
Oh. Is he fancying drinking it all alone? Vi felt disappointed, watching Regulus open up the bottle so eagerly. When it was opened, Regulus smelled it, and quirked his eyebrow like the smartass he was.
"I think our friends forgot to invest in any glasses. In that case would you mind being one for me tonight, Vivien?"
Lost, she blinked, kept watching him and the bottle in his hand. Alright.
"You can pour it." She bit her bottom lip.
Regulus was outshining her with his confidence. Vi felt goosebumps at Regulus bathing her skin in wine to lick it all off. All the sensations caused her to feel little and silly with him between her legs sucking her tits. She had her eyes shut, drowning in pleasure.
"Shite," She let out a breath. "I think you were looking for a reason to lick out every inch of me you desire to taste."
"If that was the case, I would pour all the wine down your pussy, Vi."
Vivien turned her head to the side, hiding the flush of her cheeks, while Regulus dared to look up at her, licking her nipple.
"I don't think it would be safe for me." She whispered.
"That's one reason why I won't do it." Regulus responded between licks, blowing on her nipple.
They both knew the second reason was the fact that Vi was simply not ready for such a pleasure despite the high offer she made during the Halloween party. She was too self-conscious for it, sober.
But she wasn't too self-conscious to feel horny. She was so aroused and Regulus was intentionally slacking on her. Little bitch! She felt Regulus sloppily spill the wine on her collarbone. The wine kept spilling down her body onto the blanket but Regulus didn't seem to worry about the stains. He enjoyed savouring Vi too much. She felt him lick along her neck and then bite softly on her jaw.
"Fuck," Regulus sighed pushing himself up slightly.
Vi opened her eyes to see him reach for the bottle. He took one big gulp from it, drying the bottle out.
She furrowed her eyebrows, a few droplets rolling down his chin. She wiped it with her finger and licked it. Regulus put away the bottle lazily and it slipped off the nightstand because of the lubricant, smashing on the floor. They both glanced at it, then at each other.
"Sorry." Regulus smiled, misty. "I had to slow down or I would get the hiccups from eating you too fast. You're too delicious for me to stop."
Vivien melted from Regulus' warmth. He was sweet and funny. He could always make the best use of his words. He always played with them exactly how she needed him to.
She felt flutter, greedy and feverish. She laid her hands on Regulus' cheeks, pulling him to kiss her. They did and he tasted like her favourite wine. She separated, looking into his eyes.
"Rebulus?" She whispered.
"Yes?" He matched her gentle tone.
"I want to try the position you all talked about. The one with you over me."
It was more like a boy over a girl, but Regulus had no passion for arguing.
It occurred to him that little Miss Beauchรชne entrusted all her safety to himโyoung Mister Blackโthat afternoon with how many things she let them experience for the first time. He wouldn't let her down. He kissed her softly, lifting himself on the mattress and moving towards the other nightstandโthe one that wasn't a total mess. He opened a drawer and took out almost the same bottle he had smacked before.
Vi looked at him, astonished. She wouldn't suspect Regulus Prudish Black to make such a purchase but it also made senseโhe was the mature oneโand that's why Vivien never made such a purchase since she was too sheepish.
The glass Regulus smacked was amber, but the one he was holding was purple.
"Lavender." Regulus smiled, showing Vivien the thing, her irises sparking golden. She was intrigued by him and the bottle.
"You bought it?"
One afternoon, Regulus came to Cas in the common room. She absolutely wanted to scold him for asking such an important question at last. Black, listen, you imbecile. Pussy creams for pussy, not for the cock. The juice is for the pussy to lubricate, not for you to get lubricated. If you precum, you can use that but I can imagine that depending on the amount of cum and the size, it might not be enough. That's why lubricant exists. Buy it, and do better. Cas told him the intimate oil was a necessity and not a choice. He had no option but to buy it if it could help Vi with the pain during the beginning of an act.
"I did."
"For me?"
"For us."
Vivien bit on her smile. It was silly, but she felt shyโbeing so much thought about.
"I guess we have to try it out then."
Regulus returned between Vi's legs, handing her the bottle so she could satisfy her curiosity.
Vi sat up and opened the dropper bottle. Of course, it smells nice! It's lavender. She held up the pipette.
"Can I?" She looked at Regulus through her dark long eyelashes flirtatiously.
He nodded his head. Vi soaked his cock with the oil. He twitched at the cold temperature of the substance.
"Massage it." Vi suggested it innocently.
Regulus squinted his eyes at her.
"You heard me correctly." She wanted to see him touch himself.
He tilted his head.
She closed the bottle and placed it away. She faced him.
"Go on, Rebulus." She encouraged, laying down.
He smirked and softly grasped himself, spreading the oil up and down.
"Will you touch yourself in that case, Vi? Now that I showed you how to treat yourself nicely."
Vi rested, observing Regulus rubbing his length up and down. "If you are going to be good."
Black was massaging himself and it was getting intenser with every movement between Vi's legs on his knees. He was fastening his movements, adding some pressure. Vi saw his eyes move on her body. She placed her hand on her breast, playing with her nipple, while her other hand travelled along her body. Regulus thought she would touch herself, but her sticky fingers wandered towards him. She cupped his balls.
"Tell me, Regulusโdo you touch yourself a lot?"
"Every day I see you, I do."
"Good boy."
Vi liked that honestyโRegulus figured. It appeared she took it as a complimentโthat his body craved hers so much and he yearned for her more than anything so madly and desperately.
Regulus felt aroused and his body appreciated Vi's efforts in her favourite way. She felt a bit of the warm liquid on her belly. Regulus glanced at her, her fingertips stroking his abdomen.
"Good, good boy." She drew her fingers on his sharp pelvic bone sticking out.
"I feel I was lied to." He complained.
"How so?"
"I was told you would touch yourself if I was good." He responded, raising his eyebrows.
"You can touch me however you like because you are." Vivien assured him.
That could make up for how she tricked him into masturbating [it's not like he didn't want to][he liked to partake in obscene acts with Vi].
Regulus grasped Vivien's thigh, and he saw how luscious she was. She was already creaming, and he smirked. With other hand, he directed himself.
Vivien felt Regulus moving smoothly against her, rubbing his tip on her, stroking her clit. Her head dropped into the pillow. She felt him tease her entrance, making her leak more on him, when he was already dripping from the intimate oil. She looked at him towering over her with her high eyes.
"Regulus, please." She begged quietly.
"Your plea is my command, my Highness." Regulus felt self-satisfied and centred his tip at her entrance.
He gazed at her.
"Vi, tell me if it will not be nice." He told her less nonchalantly and more caringly.
Vi felt Regulus enter her. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling until he opened them, his heart thudding in his chest, his balls touching Vi.
The oil made it too smooth for him and all of him slid inside her at one.
But Vi wasn't squirming or whimpering, hurt.
She felt Regulus stably stretch her in one slow thrust. She looked up at him.
"Are you in?"
He looked at her insulted. That question was quite disrespectful.
"You don't feel me?" He wiggled his hips.
Vi snorted, resting on her elbows.
"No, I do, arseclown. It just didn't hurt." They glanced at each other, then at their linked bodies.
Their brows tangled together until Vi collapsed on her backโdone, done, done. All it needed from the beginning was just some lube?!, life wasn't fair. No one told Vi that!
Regulus wasn't certain if he could move. He observed Vi wipe away the disbelief from her face. She looked at him.
"Go on, doll."
Regulus smiled, grasping her thighs to hold them. He wished to close all that gap between their bodies when Vi was lying flat on the mattress and he was on his knees, but he didn't want her to feel trapped to be literally on top of her. He began slowly moving back and forth, and Vi felt the pleasure she was yearning for.
She liked wild sex but it couldn't compete with what she and Regulus discovered together. It was weird, but making love felt more intimate. It was more passionate and intense despite how it caused the time to slow down.
Vi felt Regulus' hands move on her legs towards her ankles, and she felt him kissing one of her calves, his lips travelling on her skin, the strong scent of apple and cinnamon embracing his nose. He smiled, surprised. Did Vi perfume her ankles?, he didn't remark, resting her feet against his chest.
Vi saw Regulus smiled, smelling her perfumes. She turned her head to the side, blushing. Now, I know what Manon meant.
Regulus was delicate and his tip met her euphoric spot. Vi liked how affectionately he treated her body. He studied her side. She was wandering about something spacing out, her lips opened slightly. Moan escaped them, once he began speeding up his thrusts. She looked at him with her little pinkish face.
"I think we are missing something."
Regulus opened his cloudy eyes properly after they kept closing out of pleasure. "What do you mean, Vi?"
"When you were describing it, you said that you would be on top of me? But you are like away from me, Rebulus?"
Regulus' brows arose. "You want me to come down to you?"
"Very."
Oh. Vi wanted that closeness!
And the young couple smiled at each other. Regulus carefully parted Vi's legs to the sides, where they rested curled. He propped on his elbow, leaving only a few inches between them to have some space to breathe.
"Hi,"
Vi put her hand up to Regulus' face, so close to hers.
"Hi."
He felt her fingertips draw along his thick brow. She liked them for some reason.
Vivien liked everything about Regulus' face. She paid attention to the smallest detail of it. She traced the map of it, of his freckles like he was pepperedโnot overly to not spicy himโto keep him as sweet as he is. His nose was of sharp cut and smallโantic. His eyes were bigโangelic. His cheekbones were high and prominentโaristocratic. His skin was smooth and soft like silkโrich.
Her fingers stroked his mouth, studying their softness.
Vivien moaned through her opened full lips.
Butterflies that Regulus enlivened in her made her feel electrified but not electrocuted. She wondered if he felt as safe with her as she did with him.
She looked into his eyes, which were pacifying like silent water. Regulus was admiring her too, wondering who would be the one to give in and go for the pleasure this time. He contemplated the pink sweets that her lips were.
Vivien reached for him, her gaze weightless on him like grass was against wind.
Regulus' lips parted for the fresh breeze that Vivien was and she embraced him in a kiss. She kissed him slowly and he breathed her in deeply, her fingers tangling in his curls.
Butterflies that Vi heartened in him made him lose his mind but not his head. He wondered if she felt as safe with him as he did with her.
They were kissing, and Regulus felt like giving Vi everything he could. He thrust into her vigorously. She whimpered due to the new fervour.
"Shite,"
Regulus was right. Their bodies worked perfectly together likeย they were created to fit one another only. As if Mother Nature sculptured them from the same clay. Regulus was pleasuring Vi and himself, their foreheads resting against each other and their breaths steaming together. They were melting back into that one unmolded clay.
Regulus' pristine skin became laced with pink.
Vivien's rosy skin was painted red.
"Fuck," Regulus breathed out under his nose.
Vi flowed on him, her hips slightly voyaging like she was on a wave to let him know that he was doing everything right. She let her hands drift on his back.
"I don't think I can take it for much longer, Regulus." She whispered, when he was using his cock so well.
"Look at you, Viโtaking it so bravely already. Just keep going, my pretty."
Vi tried to, but he was stimulating her spot so strongly for what felt like eternity and she felt the knot inside of her strainted, close to snapping. She dug her nails into Regulus, scratching him.
"I can't, Regulus..." She cried out in pleasure.
"Shhh, you're doing good."
Regulus felt Vivien's back arch, her chest meeting his. Her arse hammered into his mattress. He slowed down and she clenched on him, letting her reach her high. Her body loosened, caressing his skin delicately with her nails instead of sinking them in it for blood like before.
She murmured. "I'm sorry."
Regulus smiled at her reddish cheeks.
"It's alright, Vi." He brushed his nose against hers that she was flaring through.
Vi felt Regulus stopped his movements, and her sticky fingers stuck themselves to his little bum, instructing his hips to drive.
"I still want you."
Regulus analysed Vi, examining her carefully to see if she was truly fine.
He nodded and she felt him move again. She felt her body become weak, her euphoric spot pulsing from overstimulation. Yet, she still yearned for Regulus to prove to her how much he yearned for her too. He was over her and she was listening to his moans, which were music to her ears.
She felt him getting sloppier with his thrusts. Regulus had his eyes shut, his forehead against Vi's. She rested, tired but satisfied, letting him finish what he started after being such a sweet, good boy.
"Fuck," She heard him murmur.
Regulus felt how tense he was getting, connected to Vi's body. He was close and he felt her hands rest on his waist, softly massaging his skin. She whimpered in response to his thrusts.
"Fuck, Vi..."
She breathed out. "Tell meโwhat is it, Regulus?"
Vivien could tell Regulus had something on his mind lately. He opened his eyes to look at her. She looked so heavenly with her big eyes, reddish cheeks, and ribbons that stayed unmoved in her hair throughout the whole act. She was gazing at him purely. Regulus felt his heart beat in his chest like it was a hammer breaking through all of his bones and flesh. He was flaring through his nose, his lips opened. She observed him.
Regulus tensed, and Vivien felt him release in her.ย
They were glancing at each other, when he panted out some silly words. "I love you, Vi."
Vivien felt as if a bludger hit her in the head. She looked at Regulus, petrified. She suspected a lot of affectionate words from him but not those.
Regulus had never seen someone so quickly become pale before. Vivien was flushed from the act and in a matter of seconds she was not. She was staring at him, her eyes widened in horror.
Regulus didn't know why the fuck he said that. He collapsed onto Vi, not knowing what to say or do. He laid down, but they both turned their heads awayโto avoid facing one another.
FUCK!, Regulus thought to himself. He could feel how mechanically Vi was drawing her fingertips on his back, lying bare under him. He could feel how her body tensed.
Vivien felt tears gather in her eyes and she rolled her lips into her mouth.
Regulus wanted to get up and smash his head against the wall. That at least would convince Vivienโshe turned him into a madman who was saying some strange shite.
Vi suspected a lot of sweet nothings like the ones that she was beautiful or brave for keeping her legs open nicely. She enjoyed looking pretty and only lying under Regulus safely. But that was the sweet nothing that hurt her. She didn't like the words Regulus used, how he used them, when and where he used them, or that he used them at all. She didn't want to hear that. She convinced herself that what Regulus said accidentally one morning was only thatโan accident. A mistake, a brainless slip off of a dumb teenage boy.
She hoped that since she let the subject drown in the past, it wouldn't surf back. But it swam at an even faster speed than she could estimate.
Regulus could almost hear all the processes that were happening in Vivien's brain, probably trying to understand what the fuck. The problem was that if she asked Regulus, he had no answer.
Vivien swallowed the lump down after a few minutes, the air around them thick like a brick.
"I have to pee." She murmured, numb.
Regulus barely heard her voice but the numb tone of it made his stomach do a flip. He delicately unconnected their bodies before moving to the side, glancing at her.
Vi immediately sat up, covering her chest with her arms and brushing her hair to hide it even more.
Regulus' stomach did another flip. She didn't even look at him, clearly avoiding his eyes. For a moment, he lay there until he noticed Vi crouching down and picking up her clothes from the ground to push them into her bare chest.
He sat up.
"Vi?"
No answer.
Silence.
Vivien picked up her panties, stockings, miniskirt, and cardigan. She looked around for her bra, but she realised it was on the other side, and she had no courage to make such a way to the side where Regulus was laying. She heard his plea, but she ignored him and went to the bathroom.
Once the door of the bathroom clicked closed silently, Regulus stood up, putting his boxers and trousers back on clumsily. He kicked Vivien's bra as its strap tangled around his feet. He hurriedly came to the side she had laid on, his jumper lying there. He had to shake it off from the potential glass pieces that could be all over it after the bottle smashed on the ground. He slipped in it. He felt like all the weight of the world was hanging down from his shoulder, dragging him down. He sat down, resting his face in his hands and rubbing it.
After a minute Vi left the bathroom, dressed. Sha glanced at Regulus out of the corners of her teary eyes, the way she would probably glance at her arch nemesisโor worse someone she thought was a friend but became a backstabber. That was what she thought of Regulus? That he betrayed her in some twisted way that even he didn't understand himself?
"Vi, please." Regulus said regretfully and despite how much she wanted to put all the hatred she had in herself on him, she couldn't. She softened, her heart breaking like the two shattered bottles beside Regulus' bed.
He saw Vivienโs face quiver and she looked away from him. She walked up to Evan's bed, where her things were.
"Please, let's talk." He couldn't let her leave like that! She seemed unhappy all over again, this time because of him.
"I have to go." She murmured, sniffling under her nose.
"Where to?" He asked, playing her game, if that would gain him back some of her trust after she confided in him intimately.
She looked at her wrist. "To see my brothers."
Regulus almost chuckled. "Vi, you're not wearing a watch."
She began collecting her things. "Exactly. That's why I'm meeting them. To buy one."
"Vi, plea-"
Vivien looked up at Black.
"What, Regulus? Literally what?" She snapped the quietest and emptiest he had ever heard her.
"Stay. I thought you would stay the night."
"Then it makes us twoโand both wrong."
He approached her.
"I can explain, Vi." He claimed with a gentle tone.
"Explain what?"
"What I said."
"I know what you said, and I understand it perfectly." Vivien said, passing Regulus. "Do you?"
She reached for one of her loafers. But after he turned around to follow her, he reached for the other to just stop her from walking away, his chest aching, his head aching, his throat aching.
All at the thought she was leaving himโfor goodโwhen he was so devoted to herโฆ when he was as dependent on her as she was on him. Regulus felt anxious at the thought of potential abandonment. He didnโt want Vi to abandon himโฆ Sour tears prickled the corners of his eyes,
"Vi, I don't think it's a good idea for you to leave." He felt like he choked these words outโฆ
She straightened with one loafer on.
"So what? You won't let me? I thought all that shiteshow you played out the whole week was to let me know my decisions are still mine, and only mine. But now you're making one for me. I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay here with you." She accused him.
And it broke Regulus' heart to hear how Vi called his efforts. A shiteshow he played out for the whole week. He was not playing out a show and he tried for much longer than a week. He knew she only tried to push him away but it still caused an ache to his heart. They stood looking at each other.
Regulus was holding her loafer delicately, while Vi wasn't trying to even take it. She didn't want to touch Regulus. She passed him, putting her bag on her shoulder and grasping the rest of her things in her other arm.
Vivien turned away from Regulus with one loafer on to leave. She opened the door and walked out of the room. He followed after her, throwing her shoe to the ground.
"Vi, please. Just-just don't go. Please." He begged her, having this catastrophic feeling that if she went away, she wouldn't come back ever again.
Dramatic prick he was but deep inside he had a heart after Vi melted all the ice it had built up around it. And it was delicate, at risk of breaking at any moment.
Vi kept marching, tears gathering in her eyes, her vision becoming blurry. And Regulus was rushing after her, his eyes so glossy they were reflecting the light of candles.
Some Slytherins glanced at the two especially with how messy they were.
Vivien smelled like wine. She was stained with it on her neck, the stains vanishing under her cardigan. She walked funny with only one of her shoes on, the other nowhere to be found.
Regulus' neck seemed like he was attacked by the vampire, with hickeys on every single inch of it. They were walking apart, Black begging Beauchรชne on some matter, obviously unsuccessful.
Regulus grasped her elbow softly.
Vivien felt him touch her and she turned to him when was about to step on the first stair.
"Vi-"
She saw him feeling as wrecked as she felt, but it hurt her too much to check on him. She put her finger up weakly.
"Don't. Regulus, please, just don't. Don't make me stay." She pleaded on the edge of crying that they stood on together.
"You will leave with one shoe on, Vi?"
"If that will keep you away, I can give you back the other too."
Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, and Evan were walking down the spiral staircase when they heard the joke.
Vivien tried to turn attention away from her tears, one of them rolling down her cheek. She turned around, ready to leave for good, instead she was suddenly met with the sight of her friends. They stopped at the tragic view the young couple was.
Vi looked at them, sniffing. Second later, she pushed through them running up the stairs, leaving them startled and stunned.
They didn't know what to do. Should the girls go after her? They were about to ask Regulus what happened, but he was already leaving too. They glanced at each other, concerned. They followed Regulus, who was easier to catch, dragging his feet.
Regulus slammed the door after himself and walked to the bed, yanking the stupid blanket off of it and crumpling it into a stupid ball that he threw on the stupid floor before he sat down with his face in his hands, perfectly for his friends to lurk inside the stupid room to see his stupid misery.
"What." He asked dryly, rough like raw wood.
Dorcas was the first to come in, then Evan, Pandora, and Barty. They looked at the state of the dormitory. Regulus' bed was significantly used, the petals on the ground around it. The blanket was crumpled on the ground and one of the nightstands appeared to be victimised. There was one smashed bottle on the floor, and the other one on it. The lube puddle was dripping down from the top into another puddle on the floor. They passed Vivien's missing shoe. Regulus looked as if he had his blood sucked out of his body, his skin pale as never before, his neck red with all the love bites Vivien took of it.
Regulus looked up at them.
" Hello would be nice." Cas smiled softly.
He stared at her deadly, unblinking. Evan came to his own bed, looking at the stuff Regulus laid at the end of it. He sat beside it and glanced at his miserable best friend.
"Or not." Dorcas murmured, sitting beside Regulus.
"What happened?" Pandora asked honestly, sitting on his other side. Her tone was tender, free of judgment or force.
Barty stood beside her.
"A lot of things. You may need to specify which one you mean, Pandora." Regulus answered sarcastically, nonetheless feeling bitter.
Barty snorted and they all glared at him. Actually Barty had nothing to laugh about.
"I mean the most obvious. You know like Vi without one shoe, crying about giving you also the other so you would basically fuck off before she ran up stairs looking as questionable as you do." Pandora looked at her miserable best friend.
"Merlin," Regulus sighed. "I almost forgot it happened. Thanks for reminding me."
She rolled her eyes softly.
"Mate, come on." Evan looked at him, raising his eyebrows.
Regulus knew snapping at his friends wouldnโt fix anythingโthough he doubted there was any fixing to what he broke. Taking out his frustration now, he would feel guilty about it later. They only tried to talk to him. He nodded his head to himself.
"Alright." He stood up. "You want to know what happened. Let me tell you what happened." He chuckled. "I-" He pointed at himself. "-told Vi that I love her."
He admitted it with an ironic tone, taunting himself. He was mocking himself, Vivien, and the whole situation. He was angry and hurt since it went anything but good. His friends looked at him standing between beds in the middle. He seemed on the edge. The topic was sensitive. None of Regulus' friends was prepared for how they should react to the news he brought to them. He had them truly astonished.
It occurred to them that none of them really knew a single shite about loveโespecially a healthy one.
"She had the exact same reaction for a solid few minutes." Black clapped his hands together, smiling sarcastically at his shocked friends.
"Reg, may I ask when you told her that?" Cassie looked around at the state of the room.
His head snapped into her direction.
"Hmmm?"
"What were you exactly doing when you said that?"
"Oh, we were making love. I guess we overdid that for me personally. I was cumming inside her, to be exact, and we were in a missionary position, yes. Any other questions, Cas?"
Her eyes widened. Fine...
Barty looked around the room that was smelling like the wine in there. The smashed bottle was empty, there was no puddle or a single droplet of wine, only lube from the other bottle.
He came closer to Regulus, sniffing him. No. Well, his mouthโa little. He came closer to the bed.
Everyone was furrowing their brows watching him fool. He sniffed. Didn't smell at all. The scent got even less intense from the place he stood first. He looked back at the footboard of the bed, where he had been leaning before. At the foot of the footboard, a blanket was lying.
Regulus scratched his neck before even Barty came after the blanket, sniffing it like a beast. He pulled it up from the floor. There were prominent red stains on it, and Vivien's bra lay under it. Barty quirked an eyebrow at Regulus, everyone else looking at him.
"Right. We also made great use of the wine, although I have to say that Vivian's tits taste best naturally. So any other question?" Regulus clapped his hands together again. Someone was about to get a one-way ticket to hell!
"Regulus, that's not funny." Pandora mused, seeing his desperation to stay sane, even though that every sentence he said was even more insane than the last one.
"Glad we all agree. Any other questions?" He asked, more maniacal with every minute.
There was no point in Dorcas and Pandora using Regulus the l-word towards the girl in the situation where he was coming inside her with their hormones and feelings all over the room. He seemed to have learned that lesson. He wasn't enduring shame and confusion that he felt the best.
Barty felt bad for him in his Barty-sh way, but he was also entertained by how inappropriate Black was becoming, losing his mind.
Truth be told, Evan wasn't stupified by Regulus' feelingsโhe was just a little stupified by him confessing them. Evan could be bad at noticing but he wasn't absolutely blind.
He spoke out unsurely, "Just tell her it was a slip-off. You didn't mean it like that."
Pandora stormed Evan with a glare for even suggesting to Regulus such a thing, like saying he was playing with Vivien's feelings like that. But Evan didn't actually suggest that. He only wanted Regulus to let his feelings out.
"I can't, Evan." Regulus said, plopping beside him hopeless. "Because me and Vivien weren't supposed to hide anything from each other, and me saying I was fooling when I said I love her would be a disgusting lie."
Black lowered his head, giving up. His friends softened. Regulus confirmed Evan's assumption. He knew him long enough to say something changed about himโhis feelings towards Vivien. It wasn't anymore a teenage fascination with a girl. It was something none of them had ever experienced before. Longing for someone.
"I said it before." Regulus whispered. "Over a week ago, when we were still half asleep, and it hit me later during the day, so did Vi. I saw the terror she had on her face when she glanced at me the moment she realised that I told her I loved her."
Pandora tilted her head, her eyebrows quivering. "But you didn't talk about it after?"
"No. I got the hint that it was too much for her." He swallowed, trying to act cool, brushing off his sadness under the carpet like some dirt. But the frustration of doing so was stronger. He looked up at his friends with teary eyes after he folded his arms on his chest to hug himself.
"But it was too much for me to keep it to myself." A tear rolled down his cheek. He tightened his lips into a thin line.
Cassie arose from his bed and came to Evanโs. She brought Regulus into an embrace, locking arm around him.
"Reg, you could tell us. I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could." She said as he laid his head on her shoulder.
"It wouldn't change a thingโthat's why I kept it to myself." He murmured. "I didn't expect Vi to love me and I accepted it, but deep down it all hurts, Cas. I love her so much that it genuinely hurts. Loving genuinely achesโin my chest, in my head."
Evan laid his hand on Regulus' back, rubbing it. Rora stood up too and reached him, crouching down in front of him, taking his hands in hers. They looked at each other.
"Reg, it's not a lost cause. Vi's just as lost as you are. It wasn't a logical choice to tell her that when you were all over her and she didnโt act rational either."
"I wasn't thinking. I mean I was but it was all I was thinking about the whole week. It constantly slipped on my tongue."
"And she's scared now but it's temporary."
"Is it? Obviously, you didn't see how she looked at me. She looked at me like I had hurt her all over again. And honestly, this time I think I did."
"That's not true." Barty came closer at last, closing the small circle of support. "You know Vivien has a lot of business to deal with. A lot of emotions to work through."
"You all don't get it, do you?" Regulus chuckled bitterly. "Sure. Vi has a lot of emotions to work on, but not a single one of them is love for me, fine? She doesn't love me and never will. Yes, she can take her time but she won't be in love suddenly. We are not like that. It was sex. When she called us lovers, she meant two people having sex even though they shouldn'tโand I proved her right. She meant a romanceโlove affair. I know that. She wasn't lying to meโI was lying to myself. And I was fucking stupid. I might try to blame her for asking me, What is it, Regulus? But she couldn't predict that I was stupid enough to actually repeat it."
Regulus forgot himself, cosy with Vi in his arms, but that wasn't right! He forgot they weren't an actual couple. It was fake. They were using the moments they shared to make something nice out of the shite they were dragged into. He knew that but some wishful piece of him kept repeating that it was all real, even if it wasn't. They were just trying their best to surviveโthey were just looking for reasons to keep going through that shite. Vi was only looking for some comfort. Something or someone to hold on to, and she found it in him since only the two of them could truly understand the betrayal of each other's parents.
"Fuck," He muttered to himself, looking between his friends. "I wanted to stop myself, but I couldn't! It's Vi. But I should have. We were supposed to go on a date, and it should end there!"
Pandora smiled. "Reg, you two would end up in bed tonight in every universe, I'm afraid."
Regulus raised his eyebrows, asking what she meant.
"Vi spent literal hours to get ready. She cleaned her body of all the hair for that date." She snorted, trying to lighten the dark mood Regulus was in.
Evan raised his eyebrows, amused. "She did what?"
"She shaved it like a head, I guess?" She answered, unsure. "She creamed every inch of her skin. I didn't even know she had body cream until today. I'm not sure if she knew either. She spent over ten minutes only looking for a nice set of underwear."
Black chuckled bitterly. That's why she was fussy about him taking her bra off.
Regulus didn't take a good look at her efforts to be alluring. In his humble opinion, she was alluring without matching her panties to her bra too [or even more, when she didn't wear a bra!] He didn't even put it together until Pandora told him.
"Regulus, she put perfume on her ankles!" She tried to remind him that he couldn't turn everything into a bad thing and blame himself for what happened. It was neither's fault.
Regulus' face was turning red, stained with frustrated tears.
"Oh, I know." He sniffed.
"You do?"
All of his friends looked at him, suspicious.
"I don't have feet kink if that's what you are all concerned about. It was accidental."
With his arms crossed on his chest, Barty laughedโhe couldn't help himself anymore. Vivien was humouring him. She was hilarious.
"Oh, foxy, foxy." He shook his head in disbelief before his eyes met Regulus. "Mate, I think in the end you were the one taken on a date. Maybe you had a vision but Vivien had execution. She went places to get it."
They all laughed quietly.
Regulus smiled tightly until he cried out.
His friends embraced him.
Notes:
I've said it. those purebloods would like pussy hairy, and hairy only. they would have no fucking clue about body hair removal.
and if i'm being honest I don't even know how real of Vi was to shave herself because 'muggles do this'. I don't know how popular was shaving in 70's around the world whenโfrom what I gatheredโit was on theme to be bushy for both: men and women.
Chapter 32: some mistakes get made
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien pushed through students, the dinner feast was coming to an end. She was bumping into other teenagers that would scold her, if she wasn't sobbing loudly with her head lowered. She clutched on her things, looking like a mess, stumbling everywhere. She was holding onto her thingsโincluding one of her loafers because she walked shoeless. She didn't care if anyone saw herโshe felt foolish already anyway.
Whatever other students thought of her couldn't be worse than what she thought of herself. Brainless cunt!, she was calling herself, squinting her eyes through her blurry vision. She was stupid! So fucking stupid! But she was so terrified! She didn't want Regulus to feel about her that way! She was so stupid for ignoring their feelings! She got cosy in Regulus' arms, but that wasn't right!
The war was there, and they were in danger but all she thought about was if she felt lonely! Dead, it wouldn't matter anyway!
It was so stupid. She didn't want Regulus to care about her like that. She wanted him to care for himself like that. She knew Regulus fancied her and it felt like she overused itโmaybe even took advantage of it. But she liked being liked by him. He was so sweet and kind. For the first time, she had someone like her unconditionally. And it felt nice to care for him too. It felt nice. And it was so silly, their lives literally on the line.
But when it came to Regulus, Vi was a silly teenage girl excited to have a sweet, dumb boy fancying her. But those words he used... It is too much! She couldn't accept them. She was rightโit was all too emotionally expensive! She had no home, so she found it in a person but now it felt like she misused Regulus. That sweet, poor boy. She was stupid! She was walking upstairs, her lips rolled into her mouth to stop herself from weeping more over the spilled potion.
She bumped into another person.
"Vivien?" Marlene McKinnon asked after crying Beauchรชne stumbled into her.
Vivien looked up at her, given up and done. McKinnon felt bad, seeing Vivien so swollen and red, smelling questionable, her neck stained.
"What happened?" She asked, lying a hand on her shoulder and from that moment on it went all down.
"He said he loves me, Marls." Vivien said with a dry aching throat.
McKinnonโs mouth quivered open. Everyone knew Regulus Arcturus Black was serious about Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne from the first Potions class they hadโeven after Vivien thought he was mocking her because he was being [overly] nice which got her cursing him out. Undoubtedly, the declaration of love was too serious for Vivien. She was obviously panicking, probably running away straight from his bed.
"It's not a good thing?" It was all Marlene choked out from shock, her tone gentle, her voice quiet.
"No!" Vivien cried out, her eyes overflood by the new wave of tears.
Marlene wrapped her hands around Vivien, who did the same, her things falling to their feet. It didn't stop Vivien from crying in Marlene's arms.
"Shhhโฆ It will pass, Vivi. It will be alright." McKinnon murmured, holding Vivien and letting her cry out the stress, trying to be there for her.
Vivien doubted it all would be alright ever again.
Deep down, she was even more terrified of Regulus' feelings passing than she was petrified of them being there to begin with. No matter what would happen, it didn't feel like it would be alright ever again.
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ย ย ย ย ย Pandora had a bad feeling once she returned to her dormitory to look for Vi, expecting her to be there getting some support from their two friends, only to find her bed untouched. She left Regulus with Evan alone. Barty and Cassie went for their patrol duties. And Pandora went to look for the young witch.
"Where's Vivi?" She asked Emmeline, who was getting ready for her patrol.
Sybill was laying with her back against the pillows, reading some astrology magazine until she lowered, uncovering her frowned face, confused.
They looked at Pandora.
"On the date with Black, I assume?" Emmeline furrowed her eyebrows, seeing Pandora's concern as she stood with her hand pointed at the bed of Vivien, her face fallen with worry.
"No. They-" She hesitated. "They got into an argument, and Vi ran away sometime ago."
Sybill straightened. They looked between each other, then at Vivien's bed.
WHERE THE HELL VIVIEN WAS?
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ย ย ย ย ย Barty climbed up the stairs, skipping every other. He was walking alone through corridors on the second floor after he heard some sounds coming from up there.
He was glancing over his shoulder to see if he was about to get pranked by some younger students. Then he recognised the feminine giggly voice after he pressed his ear to the door of the girls bathroom, where Martyle lived. He heard Martyle's weeping echoing through pipes in sinks. Meanwhile, Marlene McKinnon was giggling.
Barty tried to open the door but some stuff at the door, blocking it from opening fully. He pushed, entering the bathroom to see Vivien and Marlene on the floor sitting under the wall sloppily. McKinnon was laughing with her head in Vivien's laps. Vivien was resting against the wall, smiling faintlyโmore forced than genuine gesture.
When Barty slipped inside the bathroom and the door slammed, they looked up at him. And he noticed the bottle that had to roll away under the sinkโthere was a mere rest of some vodka in it. It seemed these two girls chugged it down with no chaser.
"Hi," Vivien squinted her eyes to sharpen her sight through her aching dry eyes and slurry state.
"Bartemius Crouch Junior in the flesh!" Marlene grinned, sloppily sitting up.
Barty rolled his eyes, walking towards them.
"McKinnon, don't you have a patrol?"
It was Marlene who rolled her eyes now.
"Boring! I thought you were supposed to be the fun one!" She booed him crouching down at their feet.
"It seems you both already had your fun. You might want to keep the party quie-" He tried to warn her to save them from getting caught until another person pushed the door against Vivien's stuff.
"The hell," Someone murmured under their nose, clumsily entering the room.
Rosalie stumbled into the bathroom as Edgar held the door for her. Then he slid inside too.
"More friendl-" Marlene threw her arms into the air before she let them drop, disappointed. She winced. "Oh, just more faces."
Bones laid his hands on his heart. "That's insulting."
Rosalie crossed her arms over her chest, watching the drunk two.
"Where's Vance?" She asked, unbothered by the not-so-warm welcome from McKinnon.
"Up my fucking ass, I guess." Marlene spluttered sarcastically. "Do I look like her fucking nanny or something?" She glanced at Vivien. "Do I?"
Vivien shrugged.
"You look like someone who should be on patrol with her." Edgar told in Rosalie's defence.
"Another one." Vivien mumbled, throwing her head against the wall. "And you're surprised that we're not happy to see you too."
"That's wounding, Fifi. It pains me to hear you tell me such a thing." Bones said, kneeling down beside Barty, sharing a look with him out of the corners of their eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with them?"
Barty raised his eyebrows, his mouth parted to probably mock Edgar because of the stupid question.
But suddenly drunk Marlene scrambled on her fours towards them, crawling.
"You want to know what the fuck is wrong with us? Everything! Black lovingly cums in us when he is on top of us as he claims he loves us. That got us messed up." Marlene spoke into Edgar's face, but sober prefects got the message clearly, immediately understanding who was the us in question.
Rosalie whined at the image of the described scenery.
Barty pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He couldn't deal with drunk people if he wasn't drunk himself.
Marlene backed into her previous seat.
Edgar looked at us. Vivien sat under the wall with her arms folded over her chest. She had her fussy little face directed at her miniskirt like it insulted her.
"Date didn't go as noncommittal as wanted?" Edgar chuckled, gazing at her.
Barty looked at him. "You know about the date?"
"Everyone knows about the date. Vivien couldn't shut up about it being full of the joys of spring. You know butterflies in her stomach and puss."
Rosalie rolled her eyes, standing behind the boys.
Vivien hit the floor with her heel as if to express her fussiness. Was that supposed to be a stomp of foot?
"Stupid!" She hissed. "Stupid ruined the date."
"Nothing's ruined." Barty assured her.
Marlene laid her face against her shoulder. Vivien glanced at her, who shook her head softly as a sign to not trust him. Vi looked at him with her eyes angrily narrowed for lying to her, pointy like arrows.
He quirked an eyebrow.
"It seems the date went well." Rosalie sighed, done. "You have been creaming at the sight of Regulus since May. Now, he's your fiancรฉ. Isn't the goal to be happy in love with someone who treats you nicely, foxy?"
A fit of laughter bubbled in Edgar's throat and he bursted out, "Clearly, you never encountered this one. She has a bad commitment issue."
"Not true!" Vi hit her heel on the tiles again, fussing all over again. "I've committed to not committing."
"And we drank to that." Marlene approved.
"The marriage is fake by the way." Barty murmured over his shoulder to Rosalie.
"Obviously, but Black's feelings aren't." She replied.
Everyone knew that marriage-to-be was a shiteshow.
Everyone thought Vivien wanted to bite Regulus' head off until a few months ago.
She wanted to bite his heads off, drunk on the floor in the Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
Vivien leaned towards the prefects as they all frowned their eyebrows. She spat out at them her drunk words,
"Ssstu-pid," She emphasised the letters sharply.
The sober prefects watched her, unimpressed. She stared between them, her eyes squinted. It was hard to tell whether she meant one of them, all of them, Regulus, herself, or everyone.
Barty blinked emptily.
"Fine, you're done." He straightened, and Edgar followed the action.
Rosalie turned around towards the door to collect Vivien's things. Meanwhile, Barty collected shoeless Vivien from the floor. He took her in his arms, carrying her in a bridal style despite how she was trying to fight him.
"No!, no! Stop! Lay me down!" She was pushing him away on his chest. Thankfully, he already held her securely as she was struggling. He held her strongly to make sure she wouldn't land on the ground.
Edgar grabbed Marlene, walking her as she was stumbling. She wasn't trying to fight him. She only managed to dismiss him with a wave of her hand. She was too drunk and tired. She was too heavy for him to pick her up, nearly motionless like a dead body, not helping him at all.
"Party's over, isn't it?" She mumbled under her nose.
"It is." Bones answered.
Rosalie opened the door for the boys helping the drunk girls. She went after all of them, her hands full. The prefects directed their steps towards the Grand Staircase, Vivien resting in Bartyโs arms, dissatisfied with her arms crossed over her chest. Barty could smell the wine emanating from the skin of her neck and lower despite her vodka breath. Fucking Black, he chuckled to himself.
Vivien peeped at him from the corner of her eyes but he didn't say what was so funny to him, carrying her.
In the meantime, voices echoed through the corridor.
"What do you mean she's not back at yours?"
"I think she meant literally what she said."
"Pandora told me to tell you guys to look out for her, alright? Vivien left Black after they fought or something. She was crying badlyโPandora didn't want to go into details of what happened."
"Did you ask her brothers if they saw her?"
"Why didn't I think about that? Oh, I did. I just got them worried by asking because they assumed she was on an after-date with Black. And fucking McKinnon didn't show up for the bloody patrol." Frustrated, Emmeline scolded the silentest she could.
Barty was leading towards the Grand Stairs, where Emmeline, Zahara, Dorcas, and Remus stood talking a little too loudly. He smirked, meeting another group of prefects.
"I believe we have what you all are looking for."
They all snapped around like broken wands. They eased, seeing Vivien, all fussy and safe until she began mimicking Barty, and Marlene, dead drunk but found and safe at least.
" We have what you all are looking for. Blah-blah-blah, shut up."
It was obvious she was not sober either but differently than Marlene, who Edgar dragged.
Rosalie stayed in the back but she waved her hand awkwardly with a tight smile. Remus rushed to help Bones with the lump that Marlene became after losing control over her whole body.
"Shite,"
"Shite,"
"Shite,"
Emmeline, Dorcas, and Zahara agreed on that. Cassie and Barty looked at each other, communicating wordlessly, the girls approaching him. Vivien turned her face away. She knew Zahara was about to reprimand her.
"Oh, no, no, no." She walked around Barty to see Vivien's face after she rested her chin on his shoulder. "What the hell happened, Vivien?"
"No, don't ask that." Rosalie whined.
"Can we move, please?" Remus cut in as Marlene was hanging on him and Edgar.
She was heavy like a dead body. Maybe she was dead? They all looked at McKinnon.
"I think I will be puking." She murmured. No, she was definitely not dead yet.
Remus and Edgar began leading the group to Ravenclaw Tower.
"Can you explain it to me somehow, Vivianne?" Zahara was walking with Emmeline and Rosalie behind Barty and Vivien, who had her chin on his shoulder. She stared at Zahara, trying to intimidate her into shutting up, but Zahara had the motherest look she had ever seen.
Vivien sighed.
"Please, no." Rosalie murmured, desperate.
Dorcas and Barty looked at each other. Cassie cringed, imagining all the scenarios of what Vivien could say.
"Imagine that stupid shaved my pussy for him. Stupid cut it for him, and stupid healed it for him. And he stupidly asked stupid where the hell hair is?! For a moment, stupid wanted to go to Myrtle and ask her to look for them in the sewer."
Vivien talked obnoxiously loud, and the paintings on the wall watched her, scandalised and speechless.
"Stupid looked for a nice set of underwear for over ten minutes just for him. And do you know what he did?! He took stupid's bra off just like that! He didn't even see the potential! All that just for him to lick stupid's tits?! Who does that?!"
"Apparently, boys with no proper mother figure in their lives." Emmeline answered, making all the prefects laugh out loud after Vivien had told them the story of her date or rather of what happened after it.
"I don't want to be Regulus' mom!" Vivien protested, drunk.
Then she pushed herself away on Barty's chest to look at him. He and Cas raised their eyebrows.
Vivien tilted her head, observing them, and taking a moment to think.
"Is that why he told me he loved me while finishing inside me?"
Remus and Edgar shared a look of wide opened eyes, Rosalie threw her head with a groan, Emmelineโs lips parted and Zahara's eye twitched. Dorcas put her hand up to wipe away the disbelief from her face.
Typically for Barty, he smirked cheekily, "Oh, sur-"
Cas smacked him on the back of his head, stretching out her arm. He and Vivien stared at her. She gave Barty a dirty look, asking him what the hell was wrong with him. She gazed more gently at the drunk Vivien in the matter of seconds, her face tender.
"Vi, I can swear on my life Regulus didn't confess his feelings to you because you remind him of his mother. I believe his feelings for you are stronger than they have been for her in years. You know the most there is between him and his mother is frustration-"
"A sexual one?" Vivien piped in, making Barty laugh.
"No! Regulus doesn't want to fuck his mother!" Dorcas lost her patience.
Vivien backed into Barty's shoulders, her schoolmates laughing quietlyโeven Zahara snickered.
It was ridiculous how persistent Vi was to convince herself in her strange and twisted way that Regulus was sexually attracted to his mother to avoid their feelings.
"I don't understand then." Vivien whispered.
Dorcas huffed.
"Vi, listen. What Regulus said is simply stranger than him, alright? There is nothing hiding in his words. He told you he loved you because he does. That's all. He is not into anyone other than you." She emphasised slowly.
Vivien observed her attentively.
What does that even meanโthat he loves me? Does it mean he really wants to marry me, take my last name, and pack my brothers and our friends into a trunk to move somewhere nice away from all that? She rested comfortably in Barty's arms, wondering.
Yeah, I could do that. Vivien didn't know a lot about love and she thought she would never do. She was taught to think she was not capable of it anyway. But now she was intrigued to understand what does that mean.
The group made it to the Ravenclaw Tower. Lumpy Marlene, Edgar, and Remus stopped at the door. Dorcas pushed herself in front of them, knocking on it with a thick hoop that an eagle was holding in his claws. The bird opened its beak and melodically asked, "What runs but cannot walk?"
"Water." Before anyone could answer, Vivien mumbled out already having an answer to that question, not the others.
The door opened steadily.
Everyone glanced at her. She was slowly falling asleep in Barty's arms, tired from the day she had had. They slowly entered the common room and Emmeline directed the group towards the staircase to the girls dormitories. They climbed down. Once, they were at one of the doors, they parted into two groups. One including Barty, Emmeline, Zahara, and Rosalie, and the other of Edgar, Remus, and Dorcas, who smiled tightly and went downstairs to Marlene's dormitory. McKinnon's roommates were about to be surprised.
Barty kicked with his foot delicately at one of the doors and after a moment, Pandora opened it, feeling slightly relieved to see Vivien in Barty's arms.
Sybie stood up from her bed.
"What happened?"
"I think Vi ran into Marlene on her way." Emmeline explained laconically, and Barty walked into the room, laying a little ball on her mattress.
"I did." She mumbled out, curling.
Pandora crouched down by her bedside, brushing her hair off of her face. Zahara sat on her bed too. Barty and Rosalie sat on the closest bed that happened to be Pandoraโs, and Rosalie laid Vivienโs things there, tired of holding them.
Sybie went immediately into the bathroom for a wet towel, and Em followed her with a glass to fill it with water.
"Why did you drink with her? I thought you were done with her." Zahara said, massaging her leg.
"I thought it would help me calm down, but Marlene got all drunk and I got too, and it didn't help." Vivien's eyes turned teary, and she whispered. "Because I'm still scared."
Pandora tilted her head, brushing her hair tenderly.
"Of what Regulus said?"
"Of all the feelings." She sniffed.
"What do you mean, Vi?" Barty tilted his head.
Sybie and Em entered the room back, but they stopped by the footboard of Vivien's bed as she seemed to be feeling more shitty emotionally than physically.
"Does it even change anythingโhow we feel? We are all going to die anyway. The war just started and they already killed half of my familyโjust-just to threaten me. And my family didn't even love each other. They killed Poe. They took Philly from me. They took my home and my friends away. What will stop them from taking Regulus from me if he loves me too much?" Vivien mumbled out. They all listened to her whisper to Pandora. "Doesn't Regulus get that there are people dying in the war? I don't want him to be nobelโI want him to be alive, Rora."
"Regulus is very much alive, Vivi, and he's not going anyway any time soon." She claimed, not fully understanding where Vivien was coming from with all these worries. None of them realised how much emotional baggage she dragged with herself the whole time.
Vivien appeared to block out a lot of bad memories, but they lived in the back of her mind, looming over it like a shadow and there was no light in the darkness of her head.
"That's what I thought about my brothers, and now one of them is gone forever." She turned away from everyone.
Viven spent another few minutes sniffling to herself, turned away from everyone until all the guests decided to leave her dormmates to take care of her. They gathered themselves, and Zahara approached Vivien, smiling sadly.
"Sleep well, little fox." She said, kissing her on the forehead.
Barty opened the door for girls, and Rosalie waved her hand at Vivien and left without another word. Zahara left too, disappearing.
Vivien just smiled tightly on her tragically swollen face. Barty moved, and Vivien swallowed, building her courage impulsively.
"Where is he?"
"Hm?" Barty turned around and looked at Vi, who sat up sloppily.
"Where is Regulus? Why is he not patrolling with you tonight?"
Barty's face fell sadly. He leaned on the door handle.
"He didn't feel good. He stayed in his dormitory with Evan. Me and Dorcas went for the patrol to cover for him if Evans or Potter were checking." He explained before closing the door, leaving at last.
Vivien's heart thud, aching and she felt Pandora sit beside her.
"It will be alright, Vivi." She felt Rora softly instruct her into a hug before she began weeping all over again, splashing herself in her arms, and sinking in her chest.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus stood over the sink in his dorm bathroom, staring at the snake ring made out of pink gold through his thick black lashes that were stiff and thick.
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ย ย ย ย ย By the next morning, students already whispered about a storm in paradise during breakfast after some saw the young couple on a date in Hogsmeade, and others saw Vivien going publicly through a breakdown after doubtlessly sharing some steamy moments in Slytherin den with Regulus.
And the whisper got thicker and louder when Vivien was walking along the Ravenclaw table towards the exit of the Great Hall, one and only entered it with Evan. They were over a dozen feet away from each other.
She stopped dead in her tracks and he slowed down. They looked into each other's eyes and Vivien panicked. She nearly ran away after she spun around to go around the whole table, only to avoid passing Regulus at the doorway.
Before, Regulus had gone to Madam Pomfrey, pathetically praying Vivien would meet him in front of the Hospital Wing. She hadn't and Pomfrey had told him that she had come to her earlier.
Vivien didn't know how to actโwhat to say or how to reactโso of course she would be avoiding him until she figured it out.
Oh, and those fucking paintings!, they were all staring at her judgingly whenever she was walking up or down the Grand Stairs.
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ย ย ย ย ย On Monday, when Vivien was packing her school bag after Transfiguration during which she sat with Pandora at the desk, she found the snake ring in her school bag among her things. The ring that Regulus had given her on Saturday that she couldn't have.
She was right in the first place.
Vivien looked at Pandora, who was packing her own things, not paying a single sickle of attention to her.
Vivien looked at Regulus, who was already slipping through the door of the classroom. She left the ring on his sink when she was putting her clothes on after the act but before the argument.
It was too expensiveโshe couldn't live with the price of keeping it so she had left it for him.
For another three days, the ring travelled from Regulus to Vivien, to Regulus again, and back to Vivien. They would sneakily put it in each other's school bags, things or pockets of their robes whenever they shared a class or when they passed one another, ignoring the tension and acting like strangers.
Vivien spent her days mostly alone. After what happened on Saturday evening, she didn't speak to Marlene as Marlene didn't speak to her. Vivien wanted to check on her but it was toxicโtoo toxic. She wasn't able to help Marlene after McKinnon refused it after her brother's loss. But she noticed that Cassie would send empathic smiles to her. Marlene would sometimes smile back, probably in her better moments.
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ย Regulus observed Vivien leave the Great Hall alone after she ate at the Ravenclaw table in her own company only. She returned to her fox instincts, keeping to herself. Everyone let her as she wishedโeven if it wasn't what Regulus wanted.
He was slurping his pumpkin juice, annoying Evan who was ready to scold him until Teddy landed on the other side of the table, blocking the view of his big sister.
"So what did you do, imbecile?" He asked, amused after observing his sister avoid Black like he was a demantor, and she didnโt have a wand.
She was stressed with him. Still, when Teddy had asked her what happened, she had flushed and dismissed him, saying that nothing did.
Vivien's friends looked at her younger brother, smirking evilly.
"A lot of things. Please, be more specific." Regulus said sarcastically, his pettiness present.
Teddy smirked stronger.
"Forgive me, Mister Busy. I didn't know that, away from my sister, you had such a rich life. I wouldn't guess by how miserable you look, glancing at her walking out of here."
Barty chuckled, cutting into his roasted chicken. Other teenagers stoned him with their stares.
"Why are you looking at me?" He pointed his knife at Teddy beside him. "The pixie is the one being fucking rude. Not me."
Teddy rolled his eyes.
"No, seriously, what did you do, Regulus? Like did you proclaim your love for her or something? When Potter did last year, she almost bi-"
He fell silent, noticing how everyone's eyes widened. They glanced at Regulus out of the corners of their eyes. Teddy looked at Black who smiled tightly, putting his hands together over his plate. He observed him until he snorted.
"Oh, shite! You did!"
"Even though I'm glad to hear I am not the only one failing in life, I can see why Potter failed so masterfully." Regulus gritted through his teeth, his jaw clenched, his muscles tight.
Teddy's laugh died out and he let go of his stomach that he grasped from laughing at Regulus so much and so hard.
"That's why you are so bitter."
"Regulus bitter?" Evan muttered. "Never in his life."
"Are you all going through that separation?" Teddy tilted his head, most of the group appearing moody with how silent the girls were and with how Evan kept sulking under his nose. "Not Barty. He's dark every day." He added, as that one seemed to savour his meal with a beast appetite.
"Thank you, little Beauchรชne. Very appreciated."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I know." Barty smirked.
Teddy furrowed his eyebrows, judgemental. He looked at the rest with a sigh.
"Listen, arseclowns." He directed his words to Black, who was staring at him. "I'm going to tell you a secret, Regulus. The secret. Don't take Vi's behaviour personally. Grandma brainwashed her into believing she's half human that the rest of us are. But she is not. She is as human as me or you. And she's just that human. She only lacks tact but it shouldn't be an issue since you are friends with Rosier, Crouch, and Dorcas."
"Oi!"
"Excuse me!"
Evan and Cassie scoffed.
"True." Barty's lips twisted smugly.
Teddy ignored them.
"So Black, lose your belt and keep the sassiness all down there. My sister will always wander back to her favourite place. Home." He straightened up, standing up. "And now do with your information what you will."
He winked, walking back away. They all observed the thirteen-year-old in all his glory. If that was Beauchรชne in their natural habitat, they were complicated.
"Did he suggest that Vi's home is your cock?" Evan scratched his brow.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat on the toilet, staring at the ring she found in her bag once more.
Martyle put her head through the door of the stall.
"From Regulus?" Her squeaky voice echoed in Vivien's head. She looked up at the ghost of a teenage girlโan intrusive one.
"Yes." Vivien answered laconically.
"I heard there's a storm in paradise?" Martyle smiled like a fucking snake she was.
Vivien had no interest in her company, so she responded with her lips twisting in inner satisfaction, "It's not like you would know anything about that, huh?"
She stared at Martha until she broke into tears and floated away, crying.
"Of course! Be rude to poor Martyle! She can't feel anything because she's dead! Shoot draggers into her heart, and they will go through her chest! D'you know, just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean I am heartless? I'm quite touchy, you old hag!"
Vivien heard her weeps followed by a squeal and splash of water, when Myrtle jumped into one of the other toilets.
Vivien needed to confront Black, but she had no courage to do that. That's how she found herself in the bathroom where she had gotten drunk with Marlene. She needed something to grow balls. Vivien hid the ring in the bag before she threw the whole thing on the tiles and arose.
She turned around, facing the toilet. She chewed on her dry lips, butchering them. She was thinking if she should do it or not. If she should use Marlene's secret hiding spot that she showed her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt her heart thud at the thought of facing Regulus just like that. She couldn't. She felt guilty for overreacting. She used him after he was so nice to her! She took advantage of his feelings! She was exactly the person Nolan saw in her! Just a pussy to fuck!
She had to return the favour to Regulus. He couldn't even look at the ring he had bought for her but she couldn't keep it eitherโit wasn't hers. She needed to make him feel appreciated! Regulus had to know his efforts were appreciated! But she couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. Maybe if she grew the balls, she would find the words! She leaned over the toilet, looking around the tank. She opened the lid, successful.
Inside, she found two bottles. Another bottle of some vodka, and the other one of fire whiskey. Maybe if Vivien burned out her throat, the words would slip easier on her tongue.
She reached for the bottle, opened it, and took a gulp that burned like hell. And it felt good. It felt like she deserved for it all to hurt even more!
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus laid on his bed, reading. He was alone after Evan and Dorcas went to meet with Barty and Pandora in the library. Regulus didn't feel like it. He stayed, hoping for some solitude until he heard some laughter coming from the common room. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was a momentary show that would end as fast as it began but the laughter kept coming.
Regulus was bitter. Instead of giving his housemates a deaf ear, he decided to get up and use his prefect power to take out a bit of his frustration. He got out of the bed, and dragged his feet towards the door and through the corridor. His eyebrows furrowed, the more his ears recognised the sweet sound but he couldnโt believe it until he stopped dead in the common room, caught completely off guard.
His eyes traced down the source of the noises after he recognised the sweet giggling of Vivien. She sat on Amycus' laps with Doyle, Cecil, and Severus around. Regulus' heart sank at the view.
Other Slytherins didn't seem to enjoy the little party going on the sofa, but they were intimidated enough to keep the complaints to minimum.
Regulus came closer to the sofa, furious. His presence went unnoticedโฆ and his heart sank deeper.
Vivien was all giggly and not sober when Amycus was tickling her. And he saw Doyle passing his pocket flask to Avery. It was too small to get Vivien to that state, especially with how short the party in the common room lasted.
"With no due respect, can someone explain what the fuck?!" He snapped, approaching the group of his ex-friends and Vi, who somehow found herself among them.
Vivien's eyes met Regulus as she squinted to sharpen her blurry vision. She jumped up to her feet.
"You lying shite!, you told me he's not here!" She shouted at Carrow, who smirked.
"Was I wrong? He was not here." He chuckled with his three boyfriends.
"Yes, I was in my dormitory down the hall." Regulus scowled, his face frowning firmly.
"Well, it's down the hall and not here." Mulciber repeated, taking a gulp of whatever he had in the flask.
Regulus completely forgot by then about reporting the incident and taking away thousands of points from his own house. He grasped Vivien by her wrist, bringing her into his chest. She stumbled into him and she locked her hands around his torso, looking into his eyes with her big ones. He caught her, looking down into her big lost eyes, telling him she didn't mean for all of that to happen.
"Vi, what happened? Why are you drunk? Did they-" Regulus wanted to ask her if they forced her to drink-
"Carefully with your words, Black." Amycus leaped to his feet with the other boys.
"Your little fiancรฉe came all the way here in this state. We just didn't want a lady to party alone like this." Avery chuckled with Mulciber, backing up his friend.
But Amycus and Regulus were already in each other's throats.
"And she was in your fucking laps on accident?"
"I invited her where she likes to sit the mostโon cock. Yours was not here, mine was. That's all that happened."
Vivien remembered now that it was Amycus Carrow and his dirty friends. She was a toolโan object in their hands that they would take advantage of. Before she could even think, she let go of Regulus and swung her fist into Carrow's jaw.
She didn't even remember how exactly it was with her sitting in his laps. She remembered approaching them to ask if Regulus was somewhere around only to be seated in Amycus Carrow's laps. She could swear she thought for a second he was Regulus when he was so blurry, though nothing about him seemed correct now.
In the end, Vivien punched Amycus and he dropped back on the couch, stupified. His friends looked at her as did Regulus and the other Slytherins, all startled.
"Your cock is so small that I didn't even realise you had one. Fuck you!" She spat out, leaning over him.
He smirked arrogantly, grabbing her neck.
"Oh, you can only wish about it now."
She felt his hands tighten around her neck, pressing her windpipe. She couldnโt breathe but she didnโt dare to give him the satisfaction of opening her mouth to gasp desperately, when they were glaring at each other.
She felt Regulus jerk his hand off of her and pull her back into him.
"Don't fucking touch Vivien ever again." He warned, his lips twisting in disgust that Amycus dared to.
The truth was, Vivien didn't have the issue like Marlene, drinking her breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But once she was drinking or smoking, she would do it until she was blacking out. She would do such things until her brain was disconnected from her body and the whole system was poisoned. She couldn't stop herself when freedom felt so powerful. But she lost control of it and it wasnโt a freedom anymore, only a cell she caged herself in, repeating one mistake.
Regulus collected her bag and robe from the ground, and into the other arm, he collected Vivien herself, who she stumbled against the air.
"Come on, Vi."
They dragged their feet towards the dormitory corridor with lines of doors on both walls that appeared endless.
"Keep your bitch on the leash if she's too slow in the brain to find her way to you on her own!" They heard Doyle shout after them.
They ignored him.
Regulus didn't know what was happening or how Vivien got so pissed. He could guess why she was so pissed, but how, where, and with whom she got to that state remained a mystery. He walked her slowly to his dormitory.
"Vi, what were you doing before you came here?"
As soon as the door closed, Regulus instructed her to his bed.
Vivien threw herself on his mattress and began mumbling, "Before? It actually started on February 8th, 1961, the day I was born-"
"This is not funny." He sat down beside her, examining her for a sign of harm that could be done to her in lastโฆ who knew?
Hours?
Minutes?
"I agree. This is a pretty tragic storyโthe one of my life." She mumbled with her eyes closed, her blurry face quite expressive.
"Vi, why were you looking for me?" As if Regulus had asked the right question, Vivien opened her eyes to gaze at him.
"To talk obviously."
He raised his brows. "In this state?"
She sat up and shrugged her shoulders.
"This is the only state in which I am able to look you in the eyes." She smiled, her nose crinkling cutely, her eyes squinting to glance at Regulus.
He sat on the edge of his bed with his elbow on his knee, resting his chin in his hand.
"Regulus," Vi scrambled to him slowly and laid her smaller hand on his inner thigh.
"What are you doing, Vi?" He mumbled, unmoved by how she squeezed his muscle gently in suggestive manner.
"I want to make up to you."
"Make up what to me?"
"You know."
"I really don't."
Vivien rubbed Regulus' thigh, biting her bottom lip flirtatiously. Then her hand moved directly onto his crotch.
He simply stood up from the bed.
"Vi, what do you think you're doing?" He walked backwards to Evan's bed, where he sat down.
"I know you want this, Regulus." She said in that provoking tone of her voice, trying to drunkenly tempt sober Regulus.
"Want what?" He lifted his eyebrows.
"Fuck the stupidity out of me. And I want to do that too to make up for the things I can't give youโthe words I can't say."
"I don't think I follow, Vi. You want me to make love with you after the last time you literally ran away from my bed?" He observed her.
She moved to the edge of his own bed.
"No, I want you to fuck the stupidity out of me. To blow my fucking mind with your cock." She claimed.
Regulus felt his chest ache drastically after he listened to Vivien say such unnerving and disturbing things self-called she wanted him to do to her.
He immediately stood up as she stumbled onto her feet from his bed, unstable with no sense of balance. But it didn't matter how stable she was, when her intention was to land on her knees in front of Regulus.
He couldn't fathom what was happening.
Vivien just took a hold of his belt and began unbuckling it.
"Isn't that what you want, Regulus? For me to suck you? Choke on you? You don't want to hit the back of my throat?! Rip my mouth?! Fill my throat and watch me puke everything out?! I won't this time! I promise!" She said, her tone rising with every sentence, her eyes wide open but so, so absent.
She was blocking herself out from how badly she didnโt want to do what she was forcing herself to do.
"What? Vi, no. Just calm down." Regulus denied calmly, but in shock, utterly lost.
Vi heard Regulus was disoriented and she let go of his belt, realising he truly didnโt want to satisfy his needs.
But he turned away from her at the same moment out of confusion what to do to stop herself from harming herself. It all happened so fast. He turned so suddenly and he heard an echo of skin slapping against skin. His loose leather belt slapped something.
The belt slapped Vi across her face since she was kneeling down in front of his crotch.
Regulus' stomach dropped lower than hell. In a moment of unimaginable confusion, he did something so thoughtless.
Vivien was so close to him. In horror, he looked at her, standing over her. She laid her hand over her reddish cheek that burned, her eyes lowered not meeting his.
"Vi," Regulus said, reaching for her to bear the other side of her faceโthe untouched one, to examine the harm that was done to her and to try to apologise and comfort her.
But the slap sobered Vivien. And panic filled her guts as much as tears spilled from her eyes.
A boy reached for her. A boy was reaching for her!
"Vi, I'm so sorry." Regulus murmured, nearly placing his hand on her cheek until...
"Don't." She backed away with her wide open teary eyes that twitched.
Regulus was about to crouch down, but Vi moved faster than he did. The young witch felt the tension that was choking her. She felt every little piece of dust filling her lungs. It mixed with a repulsive taste in her mouth. There was no fresh air to gasp for. She needed to puke. Her stomach tightened, and bile climbed up her throat. Without a word, she stood up on her feet and ran towards the toilet.
Regulus didn't understand what happened until the sound of the door being slammed had already echoed through the room. He jumped to his feet too.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, f uck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
He looked down at himself. He was fixing his trousers, when he heard a stream of water flow from a faucet. His heart shattered.
FUCK! He stopped himself from kicking something due to his frustration. The last thing he wanted was for Vivien to be too petrified to come back to him. He dragged his feet to where she locked herself in. He knocked softly on the bathroom door.
"Vi, are you fine?" It was a foolish question, but what else could he say? He tried to stay stoic.
There was no answer. Regulus landed his forehead against the door, hitting against it a few times gently. He stood there, blaming himself even if what had happened was neither fault. Finally, the door opened. He corrected his posture and faced Vi.
Vivien was in tears, her eyes overfilled with them, but she didn't let them swim down her cheeks like two rivers. And one of her sweet full cheeks was now so suddenly and brutally marked by Regulus' belt. It caused his own stomach to tighten, even if he knew he never ever would do that to her.
"I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He swore.
Vivien knew that too. She knew Regulus was a prude, not a brute. Everything rational in her screamed: it was an accident! A very unfortunate one!
But what VIvien also knew was that he was a boy. She trusted Regulus, but she couldn't let her guard down around any boy ever again. Her irrational fear silenced the voice of logic: he enjoyed the slap! Even if it was an accident, it excited him! It had to! He's a boy!, and they like it when it hurts!
She tried to compose herself.
"What are you talking about? What did you do? You did nothing." She assured him, fakely giggling at him. She didn't want him to think she was bland.
"I know that something happened, and..." Regulus said and Vi's fist tightened on a handle.
She cracked a bitter laugh, and he narrowed his eyes at her.
"What do you know? I just wanted to give you a head, but you didn't want one. That's all."
"Is that what happened?" He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yes, Regulus. That's what happened. I've already said nothing happened." She repeated seriously.
"And I've already said I know something obviously happened." He argued.
She frowned firmly.
"Then share with me, because I don't." She said to taunt him.
He inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, trying to dispose of his annoyance.
"Why are you acting like this, Vi?"
"Acting like what?" Vivien tittered but it was bitter.
She pushed past him.
"Like nothing happened."
She turned around and Regulus stopped in front of her.
"Because that's what happenedโnothing. Did you lose your fucking hearing? I'm telling you NOTHING HAPPENED!"
Why wasn't Regulus getting that she was not talking about that? He was so stubborn to do the absolute opposite. In that moment, it felt like he was always doing the opposite thing Vi wished he did! Black was making her mad with how self-righteous he was to press her that something happened. It was not his business to talk about it to her face!
But he lost his patience too.
"Oh, really?! So you weren't vomiting your insides out in there after you wanted me to hurt you because you came all the way down here drunk as fuck?!"
And Vivien turned red from the homicidal rage that suddenly washed over her, pulling her, drowning her.
"What the fuck! Were you overhearing me in the bathroom?!" She stabbed Regulus with her finger, but he didn't respond. She shook her head to emphasise, "No? Then what the fuck do you know about what I was doing in there?! Oh, you don't?! So don't fucking tell me what I was doing."
She didn't even argue with the fact that she wanted him to hurt her and it caused Regulus an ache to his heart and twist to his stomach.
They both knew the truth. Vivien wanted Regulus to hurt herโpunish her in the most hurtful way she ever experienced.
"Vi, can we just talk in a few minutes?" He stood his ground, trying to bottle up his emotion back into the glass he was.
"Talk about what exactly? About your delusion that something had to happen?!"
"YES!" Regulus yelled, throwing his hands in the air. The glass shattered.
And Vivien matched him.
"BUT NO FUCKING THING HAPPENED! Why can't you just fuck off like every other boy would do?! Can't you just leave me the fuck alone?! Didn't I do enough?! What else the fuck do you want?! I already offered you all I can and all I am!"
"I want to help you because you are not fine!"
"Why the fuck do you care how I am?!"
"BECAUSE I'M YOUR LOVER!" Regulus said, taking a step towards Vivien. She eased for a split second and he felt encouraged. "Something happened and you tried to prove something, but you didn't do shite, Vi. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something to resemble Su-"
"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" She took a step backwards and another.
She was heating, ready to tear her clothes into fucking shreds! The audacity!
"Vi, there are some things that you avoid but certainly this is not helping you. But I am here. Just talk to me." She put her hand over her face to hide herself, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Regulus had lost it. He felt like they had to acknowledge the erumpent in the room when it was charging at them!
"Oh, you want to talk! Then fucking talk! Sure! Go for it!" Vivien cried out into her hands.
"You're not yourself, fine?! Something happened and how you coped with it on your own is shitty! I just try to help you because you canโt handle it!"
She let her arms fall to her sides until they flew, stressing each and every of her words.
"Who the fuck do you think you are to judge me?! Do you know what happened to me?! No, you don't! You can't even fucking imagine all that happened and you will never fucking understand how it fucking feels, Regulus! So don't you dare stand here and tell me that I do shitty job dealing with Nolan unless you have a clue about how terrorised I am whenever I see him! Or whenever I hear a voice that slightly reminds me of his coming from behind me! You don't know how much it cost me not to burn myself alive in a cauldron full of boiling water to cleanse this skin that he touched!"
She hit her forehead with a fist.
"I wanted to satisfy you! I did so many pleasant things to you so you would like me, but now you hate on me?! I don't fucking deserve this, Regulus! What more do you want from me?! I gave you what I could! Can't you just fucking turn your back on me, and fuck off if you-you can't love me anymore?" She gritted through her teeth, crying angrily.
It smacked Regulus like a wooden bat that the whole act she planned in her head was supposed to be some sick gift from Vi addressed to him. She thought it was something like writing a note saying, Thank you for being there when I needed someone. And he felt repulsed that there were people who could teach anyone to think like that.
Regulus was lost. If you can't love me anymore? What did she mean by that? She was the one who didn't want him to love her after he said he did!
Hesitantly, he tried to come closer to her.
"Merlin, Vi-"
But she backed away, shouting at him through tears. "FUCK OFF! I can't say it more straightforwardly!"
Regulus felt his eyes become glassy. She was as lost as he was!
"Do you really want me to fuck off?" His brows softened.
"I want you to stop talking about stuff you have no clue about!, and if that's the only way to make you stopโthen yes! Fuck off, Black!"
Evan opened the dorm door ajar to warn their friends about how much attention their shouting match was gaining. He had barely entered the common room with Cassie, when Florentine snickered about troubles in heavenโwhat she called his and Regulus' dormitory after they saw Black walking Vivien there.
Also, there were more afters in the story she told.
"You are shouting so lou-" He was interrupted and ignored.
"I'm not leaving you here alone." Regulus turned cold, wanting his heart to freeze. To stop himself from feeling that heartacheโhe needed to be strongโto help Vi. "This is my dormitory, Vivien."
Her bottom lip dropped.
His eyes were as icy as they used to be. He sounded downhearted.
Is he kicking me out? It was his room. He had every right to it.
She nodded her head numbly.
"Of course." She agreed quietly.
What Regulus meant was that he would stay with Vivien there, whether she liked it or not, but she had to interpret his words the worst possible. Amiss.
She left. Why did she always understand things completely the opposite way than he meant them?
Vivien rushed out of the dormitory, pushing Evan and Dorcas.
The young witch didn't care how much they heard!, she didn't fucking care how much anyone heard! Stupid cunt, that she was, hoped that despite what happened Regulus would just forget and take her back after a pathetic act she would perform. She really thought that! The only thing she cared about was what Regulus thought about her, and he thought she was disgusting and weak! He thought she should get over herself!
Maybe he was rightโmaybe she shouldโbut she didn't even remember the person she used to be before what happened.
She didn't remember the girl she used to be before she befriended Nolan O'Sullivan.
"Fuck, Vi! Wait!" Vivien heard, running through the Slytherin common room, making students move to the sides from her way. She saw Florentine giggling mischievously in the corner of the room, and she saw Regulus' ex-friends on a couch turning their heads towards.
And Black was chasing after her as if he didn't say enough to humiliate her. Now, he would do it in front of everyone so they could all point and laugh that Regulus Black made some silly teenage slag cry after she naรฏvely tried to give him a head! The worst was that Vivien believed she deserved itโall that laughter they would have.
When she ran by a display cabinet presenting all the statuettes of famous Slytherins, she swung her wrist in the air, causing the likenesses of wizards and witches to fall to the ground just like that. All that stone shattered on the ground.
Before anyone could hiss at Vivien, she was already gone, running up the spiral staircase.
Chapter 33: wasted potential
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Young miss Beauchรชne ran through the castle to the only people she needed. Her throat ache, her skin was stirred with sweat beneath her clothes, boiling even if embraced with the coldness of the stone walls.
She faced the Fat Lady's portrait.
"You look awful, sweetheart." She commented with an overly nice voice.
"Thank you." Vivien smiled, hurt. If she wasn't so fucking tired, maybeshe would rock that lady's shite.
"Password?"
"Verbum honoris." She said.
The painting crept open with the door, letting Vivien into the Gryffindor common room. She moved through a hole towards the room.
Inside of it, she stepped and spun around like she was on a carousel in the circus, looking at different students. She was panicking, not seeing who she needed.
On the armchair by the fireplace sat Remus with a book in his hands, Peter and Alice playing around a wizard chess on the coffee table.
Remus looked up, his ear catching sharp whispers. He saw Vivien spinning in circles, like a lost child among the mist. She seemed drunk again, stumbling. He had never said anything to their friends about what he saw or heard. It was her privacy on the line. He didn't say anything even if Evans had squinted her eyes at him after she had stated that a few of the prefects had disappeared on Saturday night during their patrol duties.
Now he stood up throwing the book on the sofa, which made Alice and Peter follow him with their eyes.
"Vivien?" He asked slowly, cautiously approaching the young witch.
Without a single doubt, she was in distress as she faced him and didn't even try to attack him, studying him. She appeared as if she was in agony, tortured for hours. He only saw her once looking so heartbreaking. She had a prominent red bruise on her cheek.
Vivien brushed her fingers through her hair and they tangled in the brunette strands of chaos. She looked at Remus, ripping them.
"Can you-" She hiccuped, sobbing. "Can you see if my brothers are in their dormitories? I want to see them. Please, I want to see my brothers."
"Of course." Remus nodded softly. He turned to Peter. He and Alice both didn't know if they could react or if they would make Vivien more anxious than she already was.
"Pete, could you?"
Peter jumped over the sofa and ran upstairs without protest. In the meantime, Alice carefully crept behind Remusโ back.
"What happened, Vivien? Did someone hurt you?"
Vivien shut her eyes. Was she supposed to shake her head? Or nod it? Someone had hurt her and she had never healed from that.
"I don't know." She mumbled out, disoriented.
Remus glanced over his shoulder at Alice and shook his head as a sign to not question Vivien.
"Vivi?" Rosaire was standing on the last step of the staircase, when he gazed at his big sister, his heart aching.
Her nose and cheeks were as scarlet as the decoration around the common room. Her face was swollen, and her hair was a mess. Her eyes were red and drowning in tears. She was weeping desperately with her delicate cheek brutally marked.
He marched towards her and embraced her securely.
When Teddy heard Vivi was looking for him and their brothers bawling her eyes out, he ran downstairs. He found her there locked on Rosie like she was drowning, and he was her life line. Soon Ambrosie showed up with Peter, Hestia and Kingsley after him. They stood beside Teddy, Bambi going to his sister.
"What the fuck did Black do? I swear I will rip off his balls and shove them up his ass so deeply they will come out of his mouth."
Vivien let go of Rosie and threw herself on Bambi, her big little brother. He was over a year younger than she was but he was growing tall. She hugged him like her plush toy. He hugged her protectively, seeing red, noticing the mark on her cheek.
"I think I was the one to do something." Vivien mumbled out against her brother's shoulder.
Everyone glanced at her, worried.
Vivien was so stupid! She wanted Regulus to like her, but she only made him hate her. She fucked up something as usual like it was a habit of hers. The worst was that she didn't even like herself anymore...
Ambrosie and Kingley took Vivien into their room.
Bambi and his big sister rested on top of his bed, when they heard Hestia and Kingsley returning from a dinner feast with some food for the siblings like they promised. The closer they were, the louder they got.
Vivien was lying with her head on Bambi's shoulder as she lay on her side. He was brushing her knotted hair carefully. Rosie was swinging his feet in the air, resting on Kingsley's mattress. Teddy was walking back and forth, awaiting Ambrosie's friend, hungry [for Hestia].
Vivien wasn't crying anymore but she sniffed from time to time, so exhausted. Through her stiff and thick eyelashes, she observed her little brother until the door creaked open. Teddy immediately walked to Hestia, helping her with a plate of baked goods as if it wasn't Shacklebolt holding two plates of meat pies he stole from the Great Hall. They placed the food on the desk.
"Black is moving heaven and earth to find you." Hestia sighed, dropping down in the chair.ย
"Fat Lady said he was asking about you." Kingsley elaborated, leaning his backside against the desk.
Vivien straightened up, sitting up. She felt her bones crack from stiffness. Why was he looking for her? Didn't he already tell me everything he thinks of me? Is he looking for me to publicly shame me? Maybe Regulus was right.
Foolishly, Vivien did such a thing, expecting him to like her for it! Regulus had every right to hate on the person that Vi was but she was not prepared to be there to see it and to have everyone else witness it.
"I don't understand why." She whispered. "He hates me."
Rosaire cackled out uncontrollably. Vi glanced at him with raised brows. He was nearly struck with all the storming glares from everyone else.
"What? Black has been fancying you as long as you have been hating him, Vivi. You worrying that he hates you now is insane! He would probably like you even if you claw out the heart eyes he makes at you and burn the shitehole he calls home to the ground." He fought back the glares.
Vivien lowered her head, playing with her rings. Everyone fell silent, gathering around the desk and to eat after Vivien hid herself. Teddy sat beside her, offering her a single meat pie. It was Regulus' favourite for some reason. Vivien had to accept it or it would be a shame. Her little brother smiled and she took it.
He risked it.
"Vivi, what happened that made you think Regulus dislikes you now?" He asked and she looked up at him. "What did you do?"
Vivien swallowed the small bite she took as if she had put the whole pie in her mouth. Was she mad enough to tell her brother something like, You knowโtypical. Drunk, I tried to convince Regulus to blow my mind with his cock but he didn't enjoy the idea when I began undoing his trousers because my stupid thoughts said I should. He turned around and his belt slapped the stupidity of the cunt I am. For a moment I felt like I was back in that stupid corridor with Nolan and I ran to the bathroom. He realised I was puking, scared for my life. When I came out, he got upset and we argued. He lost his patience and kicked me out after I told him a few times to fuck off in his own dormitory.
"I-um-we wereโI mean, I was-" Instead, she stuttered, trying to form a single sentence, but it got hard, and she felt sweaty all over again.
"I-I wanted to see Regulus. I think I got a little too energised in his room. And-and he was skeptical that I told him one thing a few days ago, then came to him today asking for anotherโand he was right because what I suggested-I-I didn't want it either. It all stopped before it started. I heard he genuinely didn't want me toโdidn't want me. It was an accident. He turned away so fast, and his belt slapped me. And I think Regulus was creeped out by me. And he got frustrated that I tried to do such a thing and that I didn't want to talk about why I did. I just wanted him to like me again, and suddenly he wanted to talk about Nolan, and he said I should get over it-" In Vivien's eyes tears gatheredโdangerously a lot of them like a tsunami. She was blurring out all these things, and her hands moved around nervously.
"He said what?!" Hestia cut in, jumping to her feet angrily.
"He said that I avoid Nolan-topic, which doesn't do shite for me! And this is why he's there to talk with me since I deal badly with Nolan-business on my ownโwhy doesn't he respect that maybe I don't want to deal with it? It's so comfortable for him to speak because Nolan didn't happen to him!" She cried out.
Little Jones softened, sitting back down.
Teddy laid his hand on Vivien's shoulder and squeezed it softly in support.
"Are you sure Regulus expects you to get over it as soon as possible? Someone who wants that, wouldn't offer you help or try to make you open. It sounds like he wanted to talk it through with you."
"I don't want to talk it through!" She snapped, outlashing like an old and sick fox. He didn't back away.
"Did you tell him that?" He asked, his tone gentle.
"I told him to fuck off a few times, and he said he wasn't leaving his room!"
The Beauchรชne brothers didn't know exactly what Nolan O'Sullivan did to Vivien all that time. They only saw the consequences of the monstrosity he had done.
It was crystal clear to them that if Vivi was comfortable with telling her storyโshe wouldโand there was no point in stressing her to confess the truth. But they had to acknowledge the situation Regulus was in. He was romantically attached to Vivien and she let him into her intimate life. And if the memories of Nolan impacted the intimacy she shared with Black, he had the right to ask questions.
Maybe it wasn't the most sensible or sensitive to cause their big sister emotional distress, but she admitted she wanted Regulus to do the things she didn't like because she cared more if he liked her than she cared about if she liked itโas if it was normal thing to do and that's how it was supposed to be!
She had asked him to hurt her.
Teddy tangled his arm around Vivien and brought her in an embrace. She laid her cheek on his shoulder.
"Vivien, you can't expect Regulus to know things because you think them. You have to communicate your needs. I understand you both got confused and it wasn't good he tried to make you talk but I think, if you communicated with him why you didn't want to talk about Nolan to his face instead of telling him off, he would not keep pressing. It's like you said Nolan didn't happen to him. He doesn't know what you feel. But he wants to understand youโwhat he can do for youโhelp you."
None could imagine the grief Vivien felt for her girlhood and how much she had to miss the girl she used to be before some boy came along to corrupt her innocence and use her trust as a weapon to kill the passionate and carefree spirit she had. None could imagine the terror Vivien Beauchรชne lived in.
As the only girl in the room, Hestia spoke up, delicate with her words.
"And Regulus was right to be worried, Vivien. You don't even understand why what you did is wrong. Did it ever occur to you that he wasn't angry that you weren't enjoying whatever you tried to do but he was angry because you thought he would like you for that despite how much distaste it would give you? You wanted him to hurt youโthatโs why he was lost and frustrated."
Ambrosie was glad there was another girl in the room to point at the erumpent.
"When you are doing something with another person, you want them to enjoy it as much as you do. When you see your person doing something against their will just to make you like them, it feels bad, and it's not nice or pleasant. Would enjoy doing something with Regulus, knowing he didn't enjoy it?" He took the last bite of his pie.
Vivien squinted her eyes, focusing and thinking through his analogy. She shook her head.
"I wouldn't like doing things that Regulus doesn't like." She murmured. But what I did was even worse! She wanted him to do the thing to her that she hated.
Ambrosie smiled softly, his eyebrows raising, observing Vivien grasp the concept.
She needed to understand why what she did was not bad towards Black but wrong towards herself, and why it mattered to Regulus.
She looked up at Teddy, who had tightened his mouth in a thin line. He already knew that. Even Rosaire knew that too, nodding his head as if to say, spot on.
Vivien gave up. She closed her eyes, the back of her head hitting Teddy's shoulder, her groan echoing.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't have the courage to face Regulus, wishing someone would tell her how to fix what she broke, but everyone advised her to just talk with Regulus.
The issue was that she was definitely bad at talking. How could she even apologise for trying to perform such a hideous act as if to punish him? Because she knew he felt guilty after she got sick enough to vomit. And it wasn't even his fault. She would feel guilty for Regulus being sick after he forced himself to do things for her happiness because he wanted her to like her.
She would hate herself. She already hated herself because Regulusโ one and only Vi [she hoped she could manifest that he would still call her that] was the reason the sweet, poor boy was hating on himself, and she had to have the gentlest approach to the situation she could.
She had to think through everything that was appropriate to say to fix Regulus. In the back of her head, there was a battle of voices between the ones telling her Regulus didn't hate her and the ones screaming he swore revenge upon the ancient house of Black's name on her.
When she came back to her dormitory, her roommates immediately rushed to her, asking if she was alright and examining her cheek. They were worried after Regulus, with Evan and Dorcas, marched into the Ravenclaw common room looking for her.
Vivien's roommates helped her heal the bruise, and she found her school bag and robe on her bed that she left at Regulus' dormitory.
Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, and Evan said Regulus didn't hate Vivienโtheir close friends that Regulus trusted.
Vivien's brothers said Regulus didn't hate herโthey said it with the heaviest hearts, hating only because he dared to be a boy in their big sister's life.
Bibie and Em said Regulus didn't hate Vivienโthe two most observant girls she had known, who would definitely notice if the boy was conspiring against her.
Zahara claimed Regulus didn't hate Vivienโthe most brutally honest friend Vivien ever had.
Regulus certainly couldn't hate her. He searched the whole castle for her, even in Hufflepuff. Not even Edgar had anything funny to comment on after he saw Black in his house. He said Black looked even worse than usual.
Regulus always looked as if his soul had left his body the moment he was born!, was it even achievable to look more miserable?
They all said Regulus didn't hate her, so it had to be true.
Right, Vivien?
RIGHT?!
But they don't know what I did!
Vivien avoided facing Regulus on Wednesday morning. For breakfast, she ate what Em brought her during Care, grimacing her face at the not-so-delicious choice of food whenever their professor wasn't looking.
And during History of Magic, she sat with Zahara in absolutely the opposite corner of the classroom. Still, she felt Regulus glance at her from time to time. Everyone did.
During lunch she was one of the first teenagers in the Great Hall, but it was like she tried to be one of the last ones to leave too. She was picking at the plate full of only mashed potatoes. To Sybill and Emmeline, who joined her, it was obvious the young witch was more absorbed by gazing at the entrance of the Great Hall than savouring something actually delicious.
And after some time, Vivien saw what she was so desperately searching for with her eyes.
Regulus mopped around his friends, who dragged him towards the Slytherin table.
Suddenly, Vivien began eating off the mush, peeping over her shoulder, checking if he took a seat down. It made two girls glance at each other.
Vivien took a last forkful of the potatoes and with a full mouth she stood up, picking up her school bag.
"I think I should talk with Regulus."
The girls both made faces, saying sarcastic, no shite?! And they stood up, even though Emmeline hadn't even finished her meat yet. Vivien furrowed her eyebrows at her dormmates.
"Oh, don't mind us. We will accompany you, making sure you don't get lost on your way, foxy." Emma remarked, knowing Vivien a little too well.
The young witch smiled fakely. Em was right of course. When she, Sybie, and Vivien walked along the Ravenclaw table about to turn the corner to their right, Miss Beauchรชne kept walking straight towards the doorway of the Great Hall.
"That's the wrong direction." Sybill chuckled.
And as if Vivien was actually being plotted against, Edgar and Zahara entered the Great Hall, noticing Sybill Trelawney with folded arms over her chest and Emmeline Vance tapping her foot with her hands on her hips. Both girls were raising their brows at Vivien, who was walking towards them. Edgar caught Vivien, lying his arms around her shoulders once she tried to slip by. They spun around. With Zahara, Edgar dragged Vivien to her dormmates.
"What's the right direction, Sybill?" Bones smirked.
"Vivien suggested the change of scenery for lunch."
"Oh, really?" Zara questioned ironically.
They all looked at Vivien, who stuck a shite-eating grin to her face.
"Yes." She gritted through her teeth, her hand clenched on her bag strap.
She really wanted to talk with Regulus!, but she soon felt like she exposed herself to the spotlight by sharing her plan, and it was the Great Fucking Hall in the middle of lunch! She lost hope of having the courage to face Regulus. Still her friends walked towards her more of her friends.
Pandora and Evan sat on Regulus' sides, keeping him hostage at the table. And on the opposite bench from them sat Barty and Dorcas. They all looked up at the group of five teenagers, approaching them. Not Regulus, who gave up on trying to maintain any eye contact with Vi. Instead, he kept stabbing his meat pie with a fork. When they arrived at the table, no one even greeted anyone. Beside Vivien, her friends just sat down as if it was their usual seats despite the draggers some Slytherins threw towards them with their sharp stares.
Vivien stood stupidly by the bench, looking at her friends. Emmeline put some stew on a clean plate and started eating another portion of food. Zahara had chosen dessert over lunch and bit into a treacle tart. Edgar put pasties on a plate he had possibly stolen from some poor kidโlike Emmeline did. Sybill took a cup of pumpkin juice into her hand and sipped it, having a full stomach.
Vivien stood there, kicking her foot and everyone glanced at her. Zahara frowned, nodding her head in the direction of Regulus meaningfully.
What the fuck am I supposed to say? Vivien gazed around to see if an answer was written somewhere in her surroundings. It wasn't, and she let her bag loudly hit the bench as she sat down with a sigh,
"So have you ever tried to give a boy a blowjob and he declined the offer?"
Vivien let words escape her impulsively, and everyone stared down at her for it.
Even Regulus raised his head to look at her, distasted. Dorcas choked on the piece of her pasty, not suspecting it to be the thing she would hear. Sybill lowered a cup from her lips to make sure she was not about to share Meadowes' fate. Everyone stared at Vivien judgementally for how foolishly she tried to dodge the erumpent.
"Oh god..." Zahara murmured, resting her forehead in her hand. Only one of those could save Vivien from herself!
Regulus couldn't stand that. So he got up, catching everyone's attention. He ignored all of them and left. Before anyone could scold Vivien, she picked up her bag and followed. He walked on the opposite side of the table. Still, she chased him a few steps behind to the end of the hall and locked her hand around his wrist, making him stop at the doorway.
Regulus wasn't mad at Vivien until she tried to fool around and turn the whole situation into a joke, because the issue was that it wasn't hilarious at any point! He was so fucking worried and she tried to clown on it!
Regulus faced Vivien, his features cold, his eyes icy in a glare. But Vivien appeared regretful for her words, her brows softened, her butchered bottom lip quivering once she opened her mouth.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
He tightened his lips into a line.
Vivien's heart sank. Regulus took his wrist away from her.
Then he offered her his hand to hold it properly, gazing at her.
She inhaled deeply like she had been suffocating until that very moment. She closed her eyes, tears gathering in them. She accepted the gesture and showed Regulus her reddened eyes.
His face became tender.
"Vi," She felt already half-weight lighter. He still called her that sweet name. "I would like to talk somewhere private. Only you and me?"
"Yes." She nodded her head. "Please."
Regulus smiled sadly but he was truly relieved.
He began walking away and Vivien stayed by his side, not wanting his touch to leave her ever again. They walked and walked as far away [from Regulus' dorm direction]. They hid in Professor Binns' classroom, knowing they had been his last class that day.
Regulus opened the door to let Vivien in and he closed it behind himself. Although that classroom was completely emptied, Vi stayed close to him, no air between them. He faced her, and her heart thud like a hammer.
"Vivien-"
"Regulus..."
She choked out, speaking out at the same time as he had. He eased entirely, hearing her. Her face was already pinkish and she was so badly trying not to cry. He let his bag hit the ground and he brought Vivien into him. She curled into his torso, cuddling with him tightly.
"I'm so sorry, Regulus." She wept out.
"I'm sorry too, Vi."
Feelings took over Vivien, and the whole speech she had prepared in her head went into shite. Focus on Regulus. He can't blame himself!, she reminded herself of what was most important.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Regulus. What happenedโwhat I did was only my fault." He squeezed her.
"It was not your fault. I should stop myself to begin with. I knew you didn't want to hear that declaration." He referred to the l-word case.
"No, no! You had a right to express your feelings. I overreacted. I-I-" She hesitated. "I panicked. And after, I felt like I owed you. You were so good to me and spent your time with me when I was in shitty moods. And the thought that you deserve at least something from the body I am or-or I am not worth the effort if I don't show you that I am thankful and how much I amโcrept inside. You told me how you felt and I pushed you away for that. I thought that-that at least I could please you."
Vivien talked about herself like she was an object again, breaking Regulusโ heart.
"Vi, if you want to do something nice for me, tell me something sweet. Just don't do such a thing. It was vile. I didn't know what was going on. You were so persistentโI don't know everything but I know enough to be petrified. I didn't know if I did somethingโif-if I triggered you to do such a thing."
Vivien clung onto Regulus, trying to melt into that one body of clay. She cried out,
"I thought you wouldn't like me anymore!, I thought I did bad again! And-and I didn't want you to assume I'm a bland cunt and getting bored when I wasn't doing what you wanted me to do! Saying the things you wanted to hear!"
Regulus ripped away, shocked. He saw the most heartbreaking view. That beautifullest girl in the world stood in his arms, drowning in tears with sorrow written all over her red and swollen face, her eyes tearful, her body trembling.
"Vi, what are you talking about?" He asked her with the softest tone. He couldn't accept the things he heard! She was degrading herself so nastily! She sounded like someone else!
"I thought you would hate me! I was scared you would! And I had no fucking clue what I was doing, but I wanted you to think I did, so you would like me! But you weren't liking me, and I was scared you finally figured out I was only a hole meant to fuck!" She blurred out.
Merlin... Vivien was so used to being victimised that she was ready to victimise herself for Regulus because that's the only thing Nolan taught her. Regulus' heart cracked, close to shattering.
"You kept trying when you already thought I didn't like you anymore?"
Vivien nodded her head weakly.
"I wanted you to like me back... like you did on Saturday." She whispered.
His hands cupped her face, leaning to her height.
"I love you, Vi! Maybe I even did, when you hated me! I surely liked you even back then." He looked deeply into the jungle that her green irises were.
"But now you have me!" She contradicted desperately.
Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. What was she saying?
She chewed on her lip. After a moment she looked away, not being able to face him for so long.
"That's the difference. Chasing me was exciting, but I'm not an exciting person to be around. I'm not cool and popular or brilliant and mysterious. I'm boring, sick in the head, and obnoxious. There is nothing exciting about me. In reality, all I am is a pretty face! What fun is having a pretty face when you can't even use it when you want to? I made out with you, but after I provoked you, you couldn't even do as premised!"
Regulus was fucking boiling! The red of Vi's face wasn't the only red he saw. Still, he stayed focused on her.
She needed him more than he needed to go to the Azkaban because he tore Sullivan's throat to shreds with a spoon during lunch!
He hated hearing those things but he had to listen to them. He had to listen to Vivien. She was revealing to him how she felt about herself. He really endured it for as long as he saw she was able to share those little puzzles without scattering into pieces. Her words were puzzles that together presented the whole picture of the person Vivien was imagining she was.
"Don't you dare say those evil things about my Vi. Without a doubt, you don't know her. My Vi is so talented. She makes the room light up so easily. She's witty and every cool person wants to be as cool as she is." He caressed her cheeks. "You are such an exciting person to be around, Vi! You are like a breath of fresh air every single time I approach you because no one knows what's going on in your head. Sex was never about making the time I spent with you worth it. The time I spent with you by now is priceless. The love we made was about expressing how much I desire the person you are and not the body you have. You are not a body that I own, Vi! You are a wonderful girl with so much to give to the world. You are your own person!" He whispered. "And I love you for that. You always are your own person."
Vivien glanced at him, uncertain. Regulus realised the only thing Nolan taught Vi was exploitation and abuse. He told her that her beauty was erotic and that her pain was ecstatic. It was not. He manipulated her because he was sick and his manipulation was euphoric to him.
"Vi, you've been lied to. Someone had lied to you, using the fact that you depended on them. You trusted them so much that now your brain impersonates that person but it is lying to you. Your brain kept lying to you for the last few days. It convinced you to do something against your will, and you were so nervous about it that you kept misreading every sign of my worry as hatred. When I wanted to hold like I do now, you thought I tried to do an unspeakable thing."
Vivien melted in his warm hand. I think it's the first time he's hot, and factually, I mean his body temperature.
His words calmed her. She believed Regulus. He was so angelicโhe wasn't capable of sin. He couldn't be lying to her. It was her brain that kept tricking her.
"And despite the fact you thought I was about to have an attitude, you kept trying. You thought that your suffering would make me satisfied. That's why I am upset. I'm not upset with you. I'm grossed out by a person who taught you to accept that suffering. You never deserved that." Regulus whispered and brushed his nose against Vi's
ย She hoped he would kiss her lips as delicately as their skin stroking against each other, but instead he gave her a small kiss on the tip of her pink nose.
Vivien swallowed. She remembered what Teddy told her. Communicate your needs! Regulus isn't you. He doesn't know how you feel. She cleared her throat, gazing into Regulus' gentle irises.
"It was Nolan." She said it out loud after Regulus didn't dare to. At the same time, she said it so quietly. "Nolan did that. You know that he taught me to accept those unspeakable things. Maybe that's why I can't talk about them because there are no words to describe all of that. Or maybe I simply haven't found them yet. I don't have words to talk about those things, and I didn't yesterday. I know I shouldn't tell you to fuck off, but I was uncomfortable with how stubborn you were. I felt like you were interrogating me and I know you did that out of confusion. I'm sorry for everything and I understand if you prefer to keep your distance from me after all. But I appreciate that you were there for me even when it was frustrating." She felt her stomach twist at the thought of losing Regulusโhim distancing himself from her.
"And I'm sorry I was acting stubborn and judgmental yesterday. It was not my place to talk like that because what you said was right and I don't have a single clue how you feel, Vivien. But I want to help you in any way you ask me to."
Regulus was making sure Vi knew that she was not alone in that corridor with Nolan anymore and that she would never be again. Her eyes sparked hopefully and their colour reminded Regulus about the spring forest bathed in the mist in the early morning, sunshines dripping through.
It was a very specific description Regulus had in mind but Vi was a very specific person.
"But we have to talk about Saturday, Vivien. We do." He spoke up seriously, letting go of her. He picked up his bag and walked backwards to one of the desks until his arse hit it. He stayed against there as Vivien observed him.
She nodded. She knew that, but she wasn't certain if she was ready for that since she had no idea what stance Regulus would take. She was nervous as she slowly moved towards him. She sat beside him on top of the desk. They both glanced at each other.
It was quite a grey and rainy day, and the classroom was lightened by candles that Professor Binns obviously forgot to snuff out before leaving.
"Alright." She agreed quietly.
Regulus appeared so warm, making her believe it would be alright as she wished.
"I don't hate you, Vivienโnot even close, not even a little bit. And never in my life do I want to be ever again away from you-" Vi smiled softly. "-but I think it would be best for me if we took a few steps back and kept this friendship just a friendship." And the corner of her lips fell.
"Oh," Was the first thing that escaped Vi's lips against her will and consciousness. "You want to-to break up?"
Regulus' brows arose in confusion of her choice of words.
"Break up?"
"Break up the romance? Our romance? You don't want to be my lover anymore?" Vivien tried to stay cool to match Regulus' coldness, while he was breaking her heart.
The warmth was fake! The candles tricked her. She clenched her hands on the edge of the wooden desk. She felt the stupid pity in her heart.
Regulus saw how Vivien's nails gritted the wood. He heard a lightning strike outside the windows.
"Vi, I'm not lying to you. You have to understand me. Listen to me." He reached with his fingers for her chin to make her face him. "I love you. And that's the issue-"
Another lighting struck.
"The issue is loving me?! So you don't want to love me anymore?" Vivien tried to act all nonchalant, but she did a poor job.
Regulus could tell she was mad, her eyes twitching. She stared at him after she literally snapped. Another snap would be either the desk or his spine. It was hard to tell which one it would be.
Regulus wished for anyone to explain Vivien to him. He didn't understand why she felt hurt because it was his heart breaking.
"Let me finish, and then decide the fate of mere me, Vi. Please."
If she kept twisting his words before he even said them, he would have his neck broken faster than finished that conversation.
Vivien took a deep breath. Regulus was right. If she kept interrupting him and assuming his words, they would get nowhere. She looked at him.
"I'm sorry. Please, go on."
Regulus took a moment before he spoke out quietly, his eyes gently studying that majestic and wild girl sitting beside him.
"The issue is that I love you so much that it hurts me, Vi. Everything I know about love is not much, but I can promise you that I never loved someone as strong as I love you. And it's scary. I'm scared." He whispered.
Vivien felt her chest tighten.
"But I don't expect anything from you. I love you unconditionally, and I want you to stay truthful to yourself. This is not punishment in any way for you, Vi. I just have to do the healthiest thing for myself, and I think backing away a few steps would be that. This connection we have is too much for me right now to handle. I abused it with my imagination, and I don't want to keep lying to myself because that wasn't healthy."
Regulus struggled with his own emotions inside. Vi understood that, but did she want to accept it? No! Still, she wasn't wicked enough to ignore that. She wanted Regulus to feel better after he told her he didn't feel good. And Regulus took a fault on himself. Vivien didn't think he abused the relationship they had in any way, but she was sure she neglected his feelings by sweeping them under the mental carpet of ignorance.
He had every right to separate, but it was so hard to let him go. All Vivien wanted to do was hold him and hold on to him. It felt like he was breaking her heart for good.
And she was scared too. She was horrified that she would never find her way back to her home once Regulus would move on from her arms. But she couldn't keep him her prisoner...
"So no more making love or-or even having sex?" She asked, smiling sadly.
"Yes."
"So no playing on each other's bodies?"
"Yes."
"No kissing on the lips?"
"No kissing on anything, Vi." Regulus chuckled, knowing she would try to outtricked him.
Disappointed, Vivien huffed. They glanced at each other, her head tilting.
"But can I touch you in any way? I mean-can I-" She hesitated, feeling tears overflowing her eyes. "Can I hug you sometimes, Regulus?"
She didn't want to break down in front of Regulus. She didn't want him to feel bad for her. He already felt bad in his skin. She tried to stay brave even if she felt her throat hurt from the emotional lump that formed in there.
Regulus saw Vivien keeping herself together for him to stay strong. He smiled faintly, his chest hurting. He cupped the side of her face, and her lips parted in surprise.
"You can always hug me, Vi. But we have to stop ourselves with any kind of touch that makes me or you desire more from each other."
What does he mean?, that couldn't be right! Vi desired Regulus just by looking at him. What am I supposed to do? Gouge my eyes?
She didn't ask him that since the feeling didn't seem mutual. She delicately hopped to her feet to stand in front of him. Truth be told, they both needed a hug. But after Vi threw her arms around Regulus' neck, pulling him down to her height, they looked into each other's eyes, and their hearts skipped a beat.
"Oh," She murmured, quite stupefied when their faces were inches apart and his handsโout of habitโgrasped her waist.
"Oh," Regulus smirked, mimicking her.
"You meant no to touch like this?"
"Exactly like this."
"I'm sorry."
Yet, Vi didn't move for a moment, her eyes traced the map of Regulus' face to remember where home was. After that, she slowly hugged him, lying her chin on his shoulder. She felt him wrap his arms around her tightly. She rubbed his back.
"Regulus?"
"Yes?"
"I am thankful for you. I'm glad that I can call you my best friend and that I had the opportunity to call you my lover."
Regulus embraced her inhumanly tightly, trying to melt them back into that one body of clay they were sculpted from.
"Vi?"
"Hmmm?"
"Where did you get your alcohol from yesterday?"
Silence.
But Regulus could hear all the processes going on inside Vivien's head. He already knew the answer after Barty, Dorcas, and Pandora unsuccessfully tried to keep a secret from him and Evan of Vivien getting pissed Saturday evening because now she came drunk to him.
"Regulus, you have to promise me you will try to help her. I tried but couldn't and I still can't, but Marlene is not evil. Alcohol is evil." Vivien whispered.
She didn't want to see one of her friends turn into wasted potential like her mama did. She wanted to see her friends happy, even if it was from afar with new friends aroundโshe wanted Marlene to have friends, even if they couldnโt be.
"I promise we will get Marlene's help. Me and Cassie will get her help. And you are going to promise me, Vi, that you will stop. No more alcohol, no more herbs, no more cigarettes. You have all the people around you ready to help you. All it takes to have someone with you is to ask."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien remembered that after Manon would get her alcohol confiscated, she would turn very sick and maniacal. She didn't expect Marlene to react otherwise.
Two days after Regulus' promise, McKinnon grabbed her by the elbow, when they were about to pass each other in some corridor, going for their classes. Her hair was already burning red like a fire out of fury.
"Do you have a fucking clue what the hell did you do?!" Marlene spat out and they looked at each other. "McGonagall and Flitwick came to my room and found the bottles inside my nightstand! They wrote a letter to my parents and took my prefect badge! They could expel me from Hogwarts, you fucking idiot! Do you have a fucking idea what trouble you got me in?!"
Vivien stayed grounded, even if Marlene's hand clenched on her arm tightly. McKinnon was pale and sweaty, getting sicker and sicker, her body not knowing how to functionate without alcohol.
"You put yourself in those troubles, Marlene. I didn't set you upโthe bottles were yours. You sneaked them on the school grounds, and you drank them despite the school code." She whispered as the group of students slipped past them.
Marlene gritted her teeth, a muscle in her jaw jumped. She leaned closer to Vivien.
"You didn't mind that when you drank my alcohol! Did you also admit to smoking your shite too, herbie?! No?! That's what I thought. You think you're better than me?! Let's face reality then. I can stop drinking any day and forget about all that shite forever, but you have an addiction running through your blood. It's a matter of time before it gets to you, because it will and you will end up just like your mother. Sad and drunk or highโmaybe all three."
She took a step closer, leaving only a few inches between them. She pointed her finger at Vivien.
"And you can't just ignore that or forget it because you are reminded about it whenever you go home, glance at your family photos, see your brothers or look in the mirror. Just because you've been set up for failure every day since you were eleven doesn't mean you will drag me down with you to the bottom. I'm sorry for your new friends, and I'm sorry for little Blackโhe really thought he found someone special just for you to turn out like your mother. To turn into a fucking trouble! That's why no one listens to you because the shite you talk about is not worth listening to and never was."
McKinnon knew exactly where to punch for it to hurt the most. She was Ravenclaw after allโobservant and intelligent. Vivien's eyes twitched. Marlene was shooting her draggers left and right that her words were, stabbing her every time. She smiled tightly, nodding her head.
"Alright." She said, taking her arm away.
She walked away to her class, Marlene's eyes following her until she disappeared, turning at the corner.
What Marlene didn't see was how in Vivien's eyes tears gathered and how she had to swallow down the lump in her throat. She rolled lips into her mouth and kept walking, her stomach twisting out of sickness at the truth someone threw in her face.
Chapter 34: story about hunger
Chapter Text
[Trigger Warning: Physical Assault]
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย With a Christmas aura surrounding everything, Vivien hoped everything would look merrier. It didn't.
Once the first snow fell at the end of November, there also fell the second snow, the third, the seventh, and the eleventh too. The diviners weren't wrong after all. It was freezing, the days were shorter than the nights, and the snowstorm kept all the students hostage inside the castle, where hormones were stored.
But everything was going back to normal.
If Vivien sitting as far as possible from Regulus was normal. She didn't avoid his presence even during the time she had hated him. Now at tables she would sit across from him. In classes she would sit in front of him, making sure their eyes didn't meet a single time.
Regulus was confused at first because she acted normal, just sitting in the most absurd ways away from him, so oblivious and awkward with her actions that their friends noticed it the first time she had done that. Regulus thought maybe she was stressed that they could touch by accident, and he would accuse her of tempting him or something silly like that until he figured out she was specifically avoiding looking at him. He would refer to her, and she would gaze at anyone or anything else.
Vivien couldn't help but whenever she glanced at Regulus, her imagination took her to his bed. She desired him only by looking at him! She looked at him and suddenly she felt his lips on hers. She would feel how he licked her skin, sucked her tits, squeezed her arse, stroked her waist, rubbed her thighs or back, and teased her pussy.
But the worst was the throbbing of it!
Vivien would eat at the table full of people but one glance at Regulus and she saw him bare without all these unnecessary layers of clothing that he wore. And she would desire him between her legs, knowing too well how nicely he could use his cock.
The thoughts began the exact moment he told her he couldn't do all of these things to her anymore. And Vivien couldn't stop herself from craving them. After he assured her of his feelings that she was as horrified by their presence as she was horrified at the thought of their absence, Vivien felt the thrill knowing how risky all of it was. It made her crave Black like none else before all over again.ย
Vivien wanted to put her head through a brick wall, feeling such a hunger that couldn't be fulfilled anymore as if out of Mother Nature's spite for her. It was all leaving Vivien lost enough that she couldn't sleep in her bed.
She got very quickly and effectively used to Regulus being her bed that sleeping on her own every night was a suffering.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus could swear he woke to see someone sneak around his dormitory in the middle of the night. At first, he assumed it was Evan. But by the third time, Rosier's snores came from his own bed. And that figure was definitely smaller than Evan's.
Regulus squinted his eyes, silently observing Vi rest down on the sofa in his dormitory. She threw a blanket over herself and curled in a ball. In the morning, when he and Evan woke to no sign of her presence in the room. Regulus didn't say anything, and throughout the day Vi acted as normal as she could.
The event repeated for the week. Vi would sneak into Regulus' dormitory at night wearing her pyjamas, holding her blanket in her arms, and nap on his sofa as long as she could to sneak out of the room before any of the boys could wake to her sight.
It was an almost perfect execution.
But Vi would wake up through her naps, anxious. She needed something to comfort her in sleep or she would die of exhaustion before the war could get to her.
That's why Evan found her one morning, sleeping on his and Regulus' couch curled into a ball with one of the cushions wearing Black's jumper as she cuddled to it in her sleep.
Regulus opened his eyes to the sight of Evan sitting in the armchair, still in his pyjamas, as he was watching the small ball that Vi was on their sofa.
Regulus quietly got up, and Evan looked at him, smiling.
He came closer to the sofa, sitting on the edge of the coffee table to watch Vi hug the cushion that she had dressed in his jumper. She clung her whole body around it and it seemed she got some good sleep as she was drooling on the Regulus cushion's shoulder. Both boys glanced at each other, snorting silently.
Regulus leaned to the small ball and brushed strands of her hair off of her face.
Vivien felt someone tickle her cheek.
"Fuck off, Em." She mumbled out barely understandable, turning on the other cheek.
Someone stroked her other cheek softly too and she grumbled in gibberish.
"Vi," Regulus whispered and she opened her eyes, alarmed that wasn't right. Regulus was leaning over her, caressing her skin with his slim finger. As if he was icy cold burning her skin, she jumped into a sitting position, clinging to the cushion. Her heart fastened. She saw Evan sitting in the armchair, smirking. And she realised she was hugging the pillow dressed as Regulus. She kicked the Regulus cushion off the couch.
"I wasn't doing anything!" She protested against the accusation that no one even made.
"No one said you were." Evan stood up to his feet and walked away towards the dresser.
Regulus picked up the Regulus cushion from the ground and handed it back to Vivien. She accepted it suspicious as he was simply smiling at her. He gave her a kiss on top of her head before walking away.
Vivien didn't even get a chance to defend herself! None even asked her a question! Neither Regulus or Evan felt the need to since it was crystal clear what Vi was doing.
Vi had trouble sleeping without Regulus and just tried to help herself. And it was cute. Vivien was cute with how shy she was about the brilliant solution she found for herself.
Evan had to tell the hilarious story of his and Regulus' morning to everyone because when Vi approached the table dressed for her day, everyone smiled at her meaningfully.
It could be such a peaceful day.
It really could!
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was walking towards the Ancient Runes classroom from the Great Hall after late breakfast, alone and late for her class.
She was marching through the dungeons until someone's moan rooted her to the ground. She looked up from the ground and noticed the group of boys standing with their backs facing her. They were laughing at something.
"Harder, Mulciber."
Vivien's heart jumped to her throat. It took everything in her to drag her feet, terrified. All she wanted to do was run away and hide. She forced herself to came closer to the group and she saw Mary MacDonald on the ground.
Her always sunny skin was colourless as never. She was choking. Mulciber, Avery, Carrow, and Snape found it amusing.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows and pushed her way between boys who immediately glared at her. She pushed past Mulciber, nudging him.
"Beauchรชne always where needed!" He chuckled, when Vivien fell to her knees on the ground in front of Mary.
She glared at him over her shoulder. He held the wand, his arms crossed on his chest.
He was the one choking Mary!
Mary was on her knees, leaning on the ground, her lungs fighting for air! She looked at Vivien, terrorised, her eyes tearful and foggy. She was lightheaded, shaking, holding her chest, gripping her button-up.
"Shhh, it's fine. I'm hereโyou're not alone." She tried to soothe Maryโs fear before glaring at the boys, gritting her teeth. "She isn't breathing, you fucking imbecile!"
They cackled out, backing up Mulciber.
"Brilliant observation. That's like the whole point." Snape mentioned, half-smiling like he was satisfied.
"Finally, she's not poisoning the air with the dirt she is. Mudblood whore." Avery spat out.
"Did you lose the rest of your mind?! Did you forget what family Lily is from?!" Vivien arose slowly from the ground, staring at Snape and his choice of friends in disbelief how he could go so wrong.
Snape rolled his eyes, other boys snickering at him for getting scolded by Beauchรชne.
Vivienโs lips twisted in disgust.
"Let go of her, Mulciber!"
"Or what?" He smirked smugly into Vivien's face.
"Or what?!" She repeated, laughing, feeling her heart rush.
She swung her fist into his face with the whole strength she had in herself. He lost control over his body, stumbling into Avery, who caught him.
Vivien heard Mary gasp. She fell on her knees in front of her.
"It's alright now. Breath-"
"Vi-"
MacDonald coughed out, choking on her words, nervous.
In the matter of a split second, someone grabbed Vivien by her hair, making her face one of the boys.
Amycus held her so tightly that she could feel how he was ripping her scalp from her skull. He towered over her, clutching the back of her neck. She felt how he was boiling with madness, reddening like he was on fire, his hand burning on her. She disrespected him and his friends again. He put the sharp tip of his wand in her chin.
"You stupid slag don't learn as fast as Nolan made it seem. Sadly for you, Black's not here to save you this time." He snarled into her face.
"What? Are you going to use your little dark magic on me too?" Vivien giggled at him, unbothered by the threat.
Amycus and his friends didn't scare herโnot like that.
"I heard you wanted your mind blown. I can help with that." She felt how the tip of Carrow's wand dug a little deeper into the meat of her chin.
"All you can do is crawl behind someone and attack them when they can't see you. I fucking dare you to try when you look me in the eyes."
"Don't you think it's ironic? A little fiancรฉe of the greatest Regulus Black, protecting some mudblood?!" He clenched tighter on Vivien's skin. "You will be begging for mercy, Vivien."
"I don't think so-"
"What is the meaning of all of this?" Slughorn approached the scene, a few students lurking after him.
Ambrosie immediately recognised the voice of his sister, following Slughorn. He saw Snape, Avery, and Mulciberโthis one was bleeding and cursing his big sister under his broken nose. On the floor sat white like a ghost Mary, trembling with her whole body, as she gasped, coughed, and cried silently.
In the middle of the scene, Carrow was holding Vivien by the back of her neck. Once he heard the head of his house, he pulled his wand away from Vivien, letting go of her.
Still, Bambi saw red. He passed Slughorn and pushed Carrow against the wall.
"Don't fucking touch my sister, you piece of shite!"
"Ambrosie!" Slughorn reprimanded him.
In the meantime, Hestia and Kingsley came closer to Mary. Vivien also turned around and fell to her knees to reach her. Mary looked up at her.
"I tried to-" She whispered with a silent voice, barely having it.
"I know." Vivien silenced her, not wanting her to use her little voice.
It was all dry, and Mary coughed, her coughing turned into frightened cries.
"Shhh, it's alright. You're safe now, Mary." Vivien cupped her face, stroking her cheeks. "Shhh. Just breathe deep."
Mary threw herself onto Vivien, whose lips parted in surprise. She glanced at Bambi's friendsโthey smiled. Vivien smiled too, hesitantly hugging Mary MacDonald in her arms. She needed that closure.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat at the edge of the bed, her chin raised highly. Madame Pomfrey was creaming the wound that Carrow stabbed in her skin. She heard Mulciber grumble from across the Hospital Wing, cursing her out with words like, Cunt went mad, his nose healing.
Every time he would mutter, Pomfrey would shush him. Vivien hissed at the potion she put on her skin. It burned. Madame Pomfrey looked at her for a solid second before going away with a quiet bow of her head. Vivien bowed her head.
When she was left alone with Mary between hospital curtains, she glanced at her over her shoulder. Mary was lying with her back facing Vivien. She was curled into the ball on the other side of the bed after Madame Pomfrey checked if her brain, wide pipes, or lungs were injured after Doyle used the Imperius Curse on her, demanding for her to suffocate.
Thankfully, nothing was damaged and Madame Pomfrey gave her a Calming Cauldron to ease her mind and something to heal her throat. But Vivien could see Mary wasn't asleep, tears still swimming down her cheeks from her tired reddish eyes silently.
At least she was returning to her healthy, warm colours.
"I'm sorry for what happened, Mary. You didn't deserve it." Vivien murmured, scooping on the mattress softly. She laid her hand on her cheek, wiping her tears.
Mary dropped on her back, facing her.
"Thank you for helping me. If it wasn't for you-I don't-I don't know what would happen. It got so cold and I thoughtโฆ Viโฆ I thought I wasโฆ and then I heard your voice, and I knew if there was someone to save me from them, it would be you, Vivi." She whispered, grasping Vivien's hand in hers and squeezing it gently, making her soften completely.
"Always, Mary."
It was true. Vivien was a protective person. Always ready to stand up and step in for someone else. In her second year, she constantly got into fights, even if she was weaker and smaller than the other teenager.
It got to the point where Vivien was known for it, among other things she did. And rumours had it, her brothers got that impulsivity too. All Beauchรชnes lacked an instinct of self-preservation, but why would they be self-aware about it if they knew they were about to get someone's shite rocked? And they did it so proudly.
The two girls smiled and hugged each other after Mary scrambled to sit up.
Suddenly, the main door scarped open, and steps echoed through the Hospital Wing.
The hospital curtains snapped open suddenly. The two separated.
Outside curtains stood Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and additionally Edgar Bonesโto Vivien's surprise.
They appeared as surprised as Vivien in the bed after they caught her hugging Mary MacDonald. Lily let go of James' hand, which caught Vivien's eyes. Oh. She smiled tightly, slowly backing away from Mary. She pointed her hands theatrically towards her.
"She's all yours."
They cautiously scattered around the bed, Lily and Alice closing Mary in a tight protective hug. They kissed her on top of her head.
"What happened?" One of them asked gently, murmuring against her hair.
Peter flopped down on the bed edge. Remus, Sirius, James, and Edgar stood beside. Vivien slowly backed to the footboard of the bed, where her bag lay.
"Mulciber cursed me. He attacked me with Imperio and-and made me choke." Mary sniffed, looking between her friends before directing her eyes at her. "But Vivien came to help."
The group glanced at Vivien, explanatory to see if she would bite their heads off. She didn't. She kept smiling awkwardly as she had some dressing on her chin.
Edgar approached her.
"Did he hurt you too?"
Vivien was about to answer.
"Where the hell is that prick?!" James almost walked out of the room, bolting to find Mulciber.
"Fucking try and find me." Mulciber teased from across the Wing.
"Doyle, keep your language to yourself and be quiet." Pomfrey said, unbothered by any of the teenagers.
"Stay. I need you all with me." Mary grasped James' wrist, begging him.
He softened.
"It's nothing." Vivien stared at Edgar.
"Amycus tried to attack her." Mary murmured, explaining laconically.
Bones bent to Vivien's height and looked at her chin, his head tilting. Vivien rolled her eyes.
"So it's nothing. Pomfrey already took care of it."
Edgar straightened back, squinting his eyes at her. She kept staring at him.
"Fine." He put his hands in the air, walking backwards to his previous place.
Vivien picked up her bag and hung it on her shoulder.
"I have to go. I have to catch up with-" She looked at the gigantic clock above the Infirmary entrance. "With Defence, shite." She muttered to herself, ready to rush.
But before she could, Mary's silent words spilled out.
"You can stay, Vivien."
Vivien chewed on her lip, glancing around her old friends. They all appeared welcoming, smiling softly, trying to encourage her to stay.
"I don't think I should." Vivien replied and turned around, leaving.
They all looked at Lupin but he was already leaving, having the longest legs and the most tact.
Vivien felt a hand on her shoulder as she was at the archway. She stopped and faced Lupin, their eyes locking.
His chocolate brown eyes sugared the bitterness Vivien tasted.
Remus understood it from her eyes. Vivien wasn't ready to forgive them. She was simply a better friend than any of them ever were.
"Thank you, Vivien." It was all he could say.
They stood in silence as Vivien swallowed thickly. She hugged her cheek to the hand he placed on her shoulder.
"Always. Please take care of each other. For me, Remus."
Lupin nodded before softly removing his hand from her.
She walked away, his eyes following her until the door crept close after her.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien opened the door ajar, lurking inside the classroom. The class was in the middle as Professor Grim casually explained the existence of dementors, looking like one of them in his dark robe. Sweet. Vi and the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor didn't get along.
She slowly entered the room.
"Bonjour." She murmured and other students snortedโVi had the bad habit of using French in most awkward situations.
Grim straightened from the desk he leaned against. He was a tall, well-muscled man in his mid-thirties. Some girls found him attractive, but Vivien was more focused on the fact that he was a huge dickโand she didnโt mean the contents of his trousers.
"Look who honours us with their presence. Beauchรชne, what brings you here today?" He smirked sarcastically at her from across the class, putting his hands together.
The attention of everyone lingered on her, neck breaking, heads snapping.
"Defence against the Dark Magic class, I believe." Vivien pointed at the door. "Mary MacDonald was actually attacked with one and I realised that maybe I could use some of your classes, Professor."
"Just sit down, Beauchรชne." Grim chuckled poisonously, dismissing her.
Vivien walked to the row, where her friends sat. She approached the desk in the middle of the row, where the only free seat was.
By Regulusโwho was smiling? His eyes studied her and he noticed the dressing on her chin. His brows lowered in worry. Vivien hesitantly sat down, avoiding his eyes. AGAIN.
"Back to the subject." Grim returned to the topic of his class.
But Vivien didn't listen to him anyway. She was unpacking her things, when Dorcas and Pandora turned around in their seats. Barty and Evan leaned on their desk towards her. She looked all around between them all.
"Where the hell were you, Vi?"
Behind Evan and Barty, Vivien saw Sybill and Emmeline copying boys to hear her too.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, looking between everyone. Just not Regulus.
"I just said." She responded. They all examined her until they backed into their seats, plopping down in disbelief.
"Whatever." Evan muttered.
Vivien had a great ability to dramatise the stories of her travels to class whenever she was late for them, exaggerating to justify her lateness.
Regulus observed her glancing around the class to meet Zahara's eyes across the room. She sat with Rosalie. Zahara had her brows raised, and Vivien shrugged. She looked away and focused back on Grim.
Vivien faced forward. Regulus leaned into her ear.
"What happened to you?" He whispered, referring to the dressing on her chin. His breath ghosted over her like she was hauntedโcursedโand it felt good, tickling her, causing goosebumps to herโmaking her small, silly, and shy.
Vivien gulped down and finally glanced at Regulus out of the corner of her eyes, fighting all her urges to not smack her face against his.
Her eyes drew his face unwillingly, like an artist that she was.
After a second, she leaned to him.
"Amycusโthat fucking imbecileโstabbed me with his wand."
Regulus glanced at her with his eyebrows raised, not as certain as their friends that Vivien was lying.
But at the same time, she seemed so calm, just writing down the information appearing on the blackboard.
The class lasted another fifteen minutes until the door creaked open once more, Slughorn holding them open, letting Carrow and Mulciber [whose nose almost healed] in.
"Professor Slughorn." Grim smiled.
"Excuse me for disturbing. I'm bringing Amycus and Doyle." He sighed. "There was a m[ajor]inor misunderstanding between them and-"
Slughorn looked around the class, searching for Vivien who smiled and waved her hand awkwardly.
"-Beauchรชnes and a few other students."
He gesticulated for Carrow and Mulciber to move.
"Sit you two. This time make it to your place without trying to kill someone." He murmured,
Vivien noticed how his hands were shaking, scared after learning what his own students were able to do.
Amycus Carrow and Doyle Mulciber smirked nonchalantly, walking to their seats.
Amycus sent an air kiss at Vivien and she subtly showed him the middle finger.
Regulus' stomach did a flip. Vi was most certainly not lying. No one doubted her honesty anymore.
And that was how Slughorn's invitations for the Slug Club Christmas party went into shite.
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ย ย ย ย ย Before anyone could check on Vivien, Regulus collected their stuff, then Vivien, and left the classroom in the blink of an eye.
Vi stood in one of the corners of a corridor with Regulus. Like Edgar before, he lowered himself in front of her a bit, examining her chin. He was glancing under the dressing. There was only a small scar left from how Amycus dug his wand up into Vivien's delicate skin he had no right to touch.
"Fucking imbecile." Regulus muttered, fixing the dressing caringly.
He straightened and Vivien's heart skipped, when they were so close. Their eyes locked.
She felt hungerโshe was starved, when his modest and stoic boy was so furious at someone for hurting his Vi. And his hand landed on the side of her neck, turning her legs weak.
"What happened?" He asked, caressing her cheek.
He had to be provoking her! How could he not want to crush his lips on hers, holding her like that!
Vivien felt insulted! Am I not as desirable to him as much as he is to me?! She swallowed her emotions down.
"I was walking to class after lunch but I heard someone cry in pain and I saw the backs of Carrow, Avery, and Snape. Mulciber was in front of them, and they told him to go harder. I pushed through them and Mary was on her knees in front of him-"
Vivien lay her hand on his wrist for some comfort and her eyes moved down from his face.
And he saw it. The shock that she lacked before, which caused everyone to not believe herโthe shock that caused her to be so startled she acted normally like nothing had happened despite her own words.
"She was choking, Regulus. Mulciber used an Imperius on her and demanded that she suffocate. She could die and they were finding it entertaining. I smacked Mulciber when he refused to free her. And when I did, I turned to Mary to help her, but Amycus grabbed me from behind. He held me and put his wand up to my chin. He pushed it in my chin but it didn't even go an inch before Slughorn came."
"I will fucking kill him." Regulus murmured.
His hand left Vivien, when he was turning away, ready to go after Carrow.
But Vi caught him by his elbow and they glanced at each other.
"Please, just-" Vivien tilted her head, her lips quivering.
Regulus returned to her.
"Just stay with me, Regulus." As much as Vivien couldn't handle herself around Regulus, she couldn't handle him not being around her. Regulus took her hands in his, and their fingers tangled together.
"Promise me you won't laugh at me when I tell you something." She whispered.
He leaned closer to her until he became her whole view.
"Vi, I promise you I would never dare to laugh at you." He said seriously, his eyes steady but voyaging on her face.
Vivien smiled faintly.
"For a moment back in the dungeons, I got scared. When I didn't know what was happening and only heard the cry and Averyโs โharder, Mulciber' I thought-I thought they were hurting Mary-a girl like..."
Black's stomach did another flip that day.
"Like you were hurt?"
She nodded her head, her lips rolling into her mouth, tears gathering in her eyes.
Did Vivien really think Regulus would find that funny?
She sniffed, looking down, ashamed of herself,
"Part of me wanted to run away like a loser to get someone's help. But I couldn't just leave anyone in there with them to suffer for any longer. But imagine if I did run awayโMary could have brain damage. She could be suffering forever now."
"But she doesn't because you didn't run away." Regulus comforted.
Vi couldn't blame herself for an imaginary scenario that didn't happen! She and her what ifsโฆ
"And Mary's safe because you stayed like the brave girl you are, Vi."
OH PLEASE!, he couldn't dare to use those words, when Vivien tried to be traumatised.
Because of him, all she could think about all the times he called her that before, good memories flooding her mind to wash away the bad one.
For a moment, her sadness was gone. Vivien felt a flutter of butterfly wings inside of her after Regulus praised her. She smiled genuinely.
Regulus did too after he saw how her smile grew. He wasn't certain if using those words would be appropriate given the history between the two of them, but Vivien seemed to ease on herself because he assured her she did well.
It was so hard for him to stop himself from kissing her at that moment, despite the fact that he was the one asking for separation.
Regulus struggled with remaining unmoved, already continuing to overstep his own lines by holding her and kissing her somewhere whenever she let him. He couldn't handle himself enough to stop himself from at least stealing those small kisses of his sweet Vi's skinโher forehead, her temples, her nose, and her cheeks.
Cheek kisses rarely happened, but they did when Black was feeling risky with it. It was so close to her full pink lips! HIS MOUTH COULD ACCIDENTALLY BRUSH AGAINST HERS! And the thought was exciting as much as the rational half of Regulus wanted to build a wall between him and Vi to stop himself.
"Here you-" Evan and Rora turned the dead end, where the young couple stood so close to each other, hiding from the daylight.
Regulus was leaning towards Vivien's height.
"-are?" Evanโs and Pandoraโs eyebrows nearly disappeared in their hairline, their heads tilting like curious creatures.
Vi and Black were just smiling and looking into each other's eyes after Vivien didn't want to look Regulus in the face a few hours before during the breakfast.
Regulus barely announced their separation but it didn't seem like they could keep their distance for long.
Zahara, Dorcas, and Barty followed after Pandora and Evan to find Regulus towering over Vivien.
Their heads snapped in their friends' directions.
Vi looked back at Regulus erratically. As if she was caught redhanded doing the nastiest thing, she yanked her hands out of his and walked backwards until her back hit the wall. She gritted her teeth to stop herself from whimpering, the back of her head pulsing and aching.
Everyone gazed at her against the wall. Her mousy glance met Regulus, who was raising his brows in his classy manner of judgment.
Someone sent an owl to St Mungo's!
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ย ย ย ย ย No one commented on the moment of weakness the young couple shared privately.
Vivien's behaviour had already told a story. The girls sat in their dormitory, doing their homeworkโan unspoken favour for Vivien to save her from [desperately giving into] Regulusโ supposed charm.
It seemed either of them had been struggling against Black's own decision.
Their friends agreed with each other that the break for them to figure each other out was for the best. Because thatโs all it wasโa mere break.
Regulus and Vivien yearned for each other after a mere nine days, like Hogwarts was some dessert, and they were the only oasis in each other's sights, feeling so thirsty.
The separation wouldn't last forever. It would be a miracle if it lasted until the new year at least.
Vivien was the only one of the six girls who didn't bother herself with homework. She sat with her back against pillows on her mattress, scribbling something on a loose piece of parchment.
She slowly began returning to her hobby of drawing after she turned back into a lonely fox.
Now she huffed to herself. The rest of the girls gazed at her focused on her sketch, furrowing her eyebrows fussily like it had insulted her.
The girls looked between each other.
Em sat with her back against a pillow, her legs stretched out in front of her. Bibie lay beside her on her belly, slowly swinging her feet back and forth. Emma sometimes glanced at them as her eyes traced the slimness of them before going back to her homework. Rora sat at the desk, where she preferred doing her homework. Cassie sat leg-crossed on hers bed with Zara, who laid flat, studying and sometimes reading out loud to dictate something for her to write down.
But at that moment, they all looked at fussy Vi.
"Vivianne, don't you have homework to do?" Zahara asked.
Vi was fixed on the sketch, hatefully squinting her eyes at it, until she directed her hateful squint at Z.
"No." She answered dryly, looking back at the sketch. "I've already done mine."
"When?"
"The days they were assigned to."
Vivienโto take control over her life despite the chaos she wasโtried her best to keep everything organised. She knew if she didn't keep up with her homework the given day, she wouldn't keep up with it at all.
"Didn't you get any homework today then?" Sybie lifted one of her eyebrows.
Vivien's eye twitched.
"No." She answered laconically.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Alright."
They all fell back into silence, going back to their own tasks, before Vivien sighed, throwing the sketch at her feet.
"What do you think will happen with Mulciber? Why is he still here?"
The girls looked between each other and at Vivien. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, anxious.
"To be honest, I don't know, Vi. I think he should get expelled, but in the last few years Hogwarts isn't doing the best with Voldemort's power and influence progressing." Cassie let out with a heavy breath. "It's rather a mess."
"Yes." Emmeline agreed, closing her book and putting it down on her laps. "Shite got messed up. It depends mostly on Maryโwhether she decides to speak up or not, and she might not since that would definitely make her and her family a target."
Vivien lowered her head, playing with the snake ring that Regulus insisted she should keep.
Vivien felt bad for Mary, who had to choose between her and her family's safety. Vivien understood it a little too well than she wished. Mary came from a full family. She had a mom, a dad, and two younger twin brothers. All loving muggles and all close to her heart.
Vivien knew Mary MacDonald would choose them over herself. And Vivien knew the weight of responsibility that rested on MacDonald's shoulders too.
"Vivi, were you with Mary after what happened?" Pandora asked.
"I didn't want to leave her alone-" Vivien hesitated. "And then I saw them all." She confessed.
Zahara sat up, "Did they talk to you?"
"Mary told me to stay but I left. Remus went after me but I told him to take care. I think James made it." She said smiley and all the girls smiled softly just the same.
"With Evans?"
"They were holding hands." Vivienโs smile tasted bitter.
All those years of friendship with Jamie, just so Vivien would find out by accident he and a redhead beauty named Lilyโa tiny flower that made Jamie appreciate mother nature were dating.
Vivien felt bitter about how stupidly life worked. It felt like just the other day Jamie was pushing her up the tree, when Pete was watching left and right to see if their moms didn't notice out of the kitchen window the crime they were committing after they had scolded them before for trying to climb up that stupid oak in the backyard of Pettigrew's home. Little Vivien had already massacred her knee, failing miserably with her partners in crimes.
But at the same time, teenage Vivien couldn't look at James and Peter and not see the people who disappointed her so greatly. She was happy for Jamie but she couldn't forgive James. She missed Pete but Peter helped to trick her. She swept her emotions to the side, inhaling a deep breath. She gazed at her friends.
"Has Marlene talked to any of you after she got reported?"
"Um-um." Emmeline pouted her lips.
"No."
The girls shook their heads.
"Did she talk to you?" Sybie tilted her head.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
"So she did." Zahara commented.
She shrugged her shoulders again.
"How exactly has reporting her issue helped her?" VIvien wondered out loud but so silently after a solid second of thick stilling silence.
Cassie stood up from the bed, smiling. She came closer to Vivien, and her smile spread widely. She took the sketch in her hands. Vivien smiled softly too, Dorcasโ smile contagious.
"Marlene didn't talk to me but McGonagall did. She had sent Marlene to Madame Pomfrey for a few healing exams. For a few days when Marlene felt the worst, she stayed in the Hospital Wing. Now she has to check in with Flitwick at every meal and before the curfew. They also suggested she should talk to someoneโa mind healer, Madame Pomfrey, one of the professors, her parents, or a trusted friend." Cassie told quietly.
"But what if someone took away all of her friends?"
Vivien bit her bottom lip.
Pandora frowned firmly from her seat.
"Vivi, you didn't take all of her friends. After all, you are still her friend and we all are. Marlene rejected everyone first, but everyone is still waiting here for her to get better." She protested calmly. "It's brutal, but the truth is we didn't have enough strength to help her. She didn't want to accept our help. You did good for telling Regulus and giving him and Cas a sign to act when we weren't enough. They aren't emotionally attached and it was easier for them to look the truth into its eyes and see that she was only getting worse on her own."
Vivien didn't even want to express the worries in the back of her head to not snuff out the girlsโ hopeful spark.
But she couldn't help but think to herself. What if there was nothing to wait for? What if Marlene, just like my mama, would never get better? She felt her throat close and eyes twitch at the sour thought.
"Vivi, how are you?" Cassie asked the question that was on everyone's minds after the bad day Vivien was obviously having.
Vivien went back from the depths of her mind, gazing at her friends. They tried to beam brightly, attempting to add some light to the gloom that she found herself among. So much happened in one afternoon.
"I don't know." Vivien said. "I was embarrassed in the morning, then scared, angry, sad, and worried. Then I was flattered and flustered. Now I don't know anymore. Maybe I don't feel anything right now or maybe I don't know this feeling yet." She said honestly. "Is that fine?"
Cassie's nose crinkle cutely. She took her hand in hers, leaving the sketch of Regulus in her laps. He must had been responsible for the 'flattered and flustered' part of Vivienโs day.
"It is." Dorcas assured. "Is it alright with you if we ask tomorrow then?"
"Maybe by then I will know the feeling." Vivien smiled faintly.
Tomorrow morning, Vivien heard rumours about some hilarious prank that the Slytherin boys pulled on Mary MacDonald, when they feasted on their breakfastโฆ
Meanwhile, Mary was still at the Hospital Wing...
Chapter 35: sun-die
Chapter Text
[Trigger Warning: Gore, Self-Harm, Blood]
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"
Slaughter in Edinburgh!
On December 7th a couple of muggles, during their everyday walk on Calton Hill, discovered the body of a man. His identity still remains a mystery. He is described as a white, homeless male between the ages of late forties to late fifties. His body was found tied to a hazel tree with a slit throat, crushed trachea, and a knife left in his chest. The cause of his death is still not determined as is the time of his execution. Suspected of the murder are the Arthurians, a Celtic tribe whose origins come from Votadini. Today they worship Arthur's Seat as their sacred place.
"
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Barty observed Vivien's hands grip tighten on the Daily Prophet, merry laughter of other teenagers carrying through the Great Hall like Christmas carols.
Vivien was reading one of the articles in the criminal section.
They sat at the Slytherin table with Dorcas and Pandora, who looked at the young witch clutching the newspaper too.
Vivien's heart ached in her chest as she read the article, her stomach tightening. Pandora hesitantly moved towards her on the bench to glance at the news. Vivien was reading the criminal records. There was a lot of bloody news described thereโthe genocide of innocent muggles, attacks on small magical communities, and plunders of villages. But her wild eyes were trapped on a specific article. Gruesome murder of a homeless unidentified man. Pandora squinted her eyes, reading it too.
"Something interesting?" Evan suddenly asked, appearing out of thin air, glancing at whatever she and Pandora were reading.
"Nothing!" Vivien immediately shut the newspaper, looking between Pandora and Evan, who raised their eyebrows at her.
Vivien looked behind Evan instead of acknowledging her own reaction, and then at the other side of the table where Dorcas and Barty sat alone. None stuck along Evan.
Everyone gazed at her gently.
"No Regulus?" Vivien asked, folding the gazette to put it down.
Evan's heart sank in the sea of pity, sitting down beside her. She had asked that question the third time in a row, and the third time in a row he had to say the same,
"No Regulus." He smiled sadly.
So did Rora, Cassie, and Barty.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows in pure confusion.
"I don't understand... If he's so sick that I can't visit him, then how come you can share a room with him, Evan? Shouldn't he stay in the Hospital Wing? Won't you catch that thing from him?" She looked at him, biting the dry skin of her lips.
Evan looked at his other friends, searching for an answer.
"Don't look at them!" She protested quietly, seeing what he was doing. " I am asking you that question."
Vivien had been worried since Wednesday morningโRegulus didn't show up at the Infirmary to get a potion with her. He showed up even when I was avoiding him! Vivien knew that from Poppy.
Instead Evan had showed up late, excusing Black, saying he got badly sick the other evening. But Vivien saw him the other afternoon! They shared a private moment in the corridor and he seemed fine! Maybe not the healthiest, but still very beautiful!
That morning Vivien visited the Hospital Wing earlier than usual to not meet with Evan. She wanted to ask Pomfrey if Regulus came to herโshe said he had. Vivien asked Pomfrey if she could do something for Regulus to help him recover quickly, and Poppy said that being on its own sometimes is enough.
But how could Vi be for Regulus, if he isolated himself like he was contagiousโwhich didnโt seem to be an actual issueโand Evan lied to Vivien that Pomfrey said it's best for everyone to stay away from him?
Vivien felt quite betrayed, realising all of her friends were lying to her after Evan glanced at them for help.
"What is going on? Why are all of you lying to me? You don't trust me?" She crossed her arms over her chest, but it was for comfortโshe hugged herself, feeling alone and isolated.
She looked between her friends, her eyes glassy like cracking ice. Did I do something wrong?
"Did-" She hesitated, murmuring quieter. "Did Regulus ask you to?" Her stomach did a dangerous flip at the thought. "I know I can visit him..." She added even quieter and they all softened.
Vi was so worried about Regulus.
Of course she asked Pomfrey. They all should suspect that Vi would look for different ways to check on Regulus.
Pandora offered Vivien her hand, and despite being hostile as a defensive mechanism, she accepted the gesture. Pandora smiled tightly.
"You know what? The truth is Regulus struggles with bad moods similar to yours sometimes too. He feels really miserable during them and he's very, very lowspirited. He prefers to stay alone to rest and sleep the bad emotions away." She answered the gentlest, her tone tender, her thumb caressing Vivienโs delicate skin.
Vivien nodded her head, understanding.
"He doesn't want me to see him like that?" She furrowed her eyebrows together.
"Yes." And no.
"But I could help him? Cheer him up, if he would let me?" Vivien smiled faintly, her eyes twitching more.
She was such an angel, melting her friendsโ hearts. Cute creature.
Cas opened her mouth but she had to close it, her throat tightening the moment she tried to speak up. None of them had a heart to tell Vivien that Regulus specifically said he didn't want her to see him like that and that he didn't want to see her as well. They knew the truth unlike Vivien. And it was what was consuming Regulus from inside out.
They could swear they believed telling her the truth would free Regulus.
And they thought Regulus misjudged Vivien.
They foolishly hoped that she could light a tiny sparkle in their friend.
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ย ย ย ย ย That's why Vivien and Evan lurked into the room.
It was dark. Regulus didn't open the curtains or light a single candle. Evan didn't know what to expect to see after he told Regulus he would come and check on him during the lunch break, but the abandoned dormitory was probably the last thing. He opened the door fully, letting Vi in first, following her.
Vivien spinned around the room, but Regulus was nowhere to be seen. His bed was messy and empty. Evan's bed was made and empty. Sofas and armchairs were untouched and empty.
Evan came to the bathroom door and glanced insideโempty.
Vivien approached him. They gazed at each other.
"Where is he?"
Regulus could hear Vi's whisper after he heard two footsteps echoing through the roomโhis best friend's and hers.
"I don't know." Evan responded silently. "He didn't tell me he was walking out of here or that he intended to."
"Maybe he went to Madam Pomfrey?"
Maybe not. Regulus wanted to chuckle, but he was too ashamed to expose to Vi and Evan the pathetic spot he was hiding in like the coward that he was.
"No, he already went to her before I left."
Evan and Vivien looked at each other, lost. Then they glanced around the room.
Vivien's eyes fell onto the wooden wardrobe in the corner. She remembered what Eden had confessed to her onceโthat Regulus told him he used to hide in his wardrobe away from his monsters trying to get to him, when he was a child.
Vivien observed the wardrobe for any sign of someone alive hiding in there.
"Evan, could you leave?" She whispered over her shoulder.
Evan stopped his eyes on the back of her head. She took a few small steps towards the corner of the room. He followed after her. His head grew on Vivien's shoulder, when he leaned to her height, almost pressing his cheek into hers.
"Why?" He murmured.
Vivien stopped in her steps, and he did too.
"Could you just do it, please?"
They peeped at each other and at the wardrobe. It hit Evan like a bludger after Vi was so persistent and secretive.
"You don't think-"
"I do."
"Oh," Evan slowly backed away. "Do you want me to stay in the common room or?"
"You can go to class."
"You, Vi?"
"I think we both already know the answer."
"We do."
Regulus heard Evan and Vi murmur back and forth at each other until he heard a silent slam of the door, followed by one set of steps getting louder.
Vi stopped in front of the big wardrobe he sat inside of and knocked on the door carefully.
For a moment, Vivien stood there, tense, nothing happening. But the door creaked open.
Regulus wondered what Vi would do if he pretended he wasn't hiding inside. But he decided to just push the door a little open with his foot.
Vivien looked inside. The Slytherin dormitories were dark to begin with but with closed curtains and no light it was dark as night, not even mentioning how dark the inside of the wardrobes were in there.
Regulus sat inside the wardrobe and Vivien didn't even see his shape, squinting her eyes to look if he sat on the side she stood at or the other. The other. She could tell after a solid second.
She scrambled into the inside of the wardrobe.
Regulus curled his legs to give Vivien as much space as she needed to get inside, once he realised she was joining him. She clumsily closed the door, curling in the corner of the wardrobe, clothes brushing against the top of her head.
Regulus already felt like a loserโthe girl of his dreams found him like a little bug hiding in the darkest corner. He didn't even need to ask where she learned about the habit he had had since childhood. Eden.
Vivien felt Regulus' presence as he stretched his legs on her sides, letting hers between them. She let her legs rest and she felt Regulus' feet skim against her thighs, when he let himself rest too. They sat in dead silence and the dead darkness. It was as black as Regulus' hair was.
Vivien felt unnerved and she fidgeted, having that sensation on her neck like something tried to crawl onto herโa spider or something. She felt the need to brush it away from her and scratch away the feeling of its legs on her skin.
Regulus could feel how Vi started fidgeting.
"Why would you get in if you are afraid of the darkness, Vi?" He smiled softly even if she couldn't see it.
Vivien heard the tired and quiet voice of Regulus, feeling relieved but even more bothered than before at the same time.
"I'm not afraid of the darkness. It's just disturbing to me."
"So you are afraid."
"Whatever." She huffed. "I didn't get inside because of the darkness. I did for you, Rebulus."
After a second Vivien heard an unclear murmur.
The inside of the wardrobe brightened too much for Vivien's eyes. She put a hand over her eyes. A minute later, she parted her fingers, looking through the gaps.
Regulus sat with his head resting against the wall. In one of his hands that he laid on his knees, a wand illuminated the light. She lowered her hand. Regulus was so pale that he almost turned grey. His eyes were tired, so red he might not had a numbness in themโfrom the drynessโthatโs why the extreme light didnโt blind him. He had purple bags under his eyes. He had wet hair, probably from the shower he must had taken, now dressed in his jumper and pyjama bottoms.
Vivien chewed on her lips, already butchered because of Regulus.
If Black wasn't so tired, maybe he would even think about smashing his lips on hers to put an end to her bloody habit. But even his hormones were not strong enough.
Vivien swallowed thickly.
"What about you, Rebulus? What are you afraid of so much that you hide in here?" She tilted her head.
"Life." Regulus shrugged his shoulders.
Vivien pursed her lips, thinking about it.
"That's valid. Me too."
They snorted tiredly together but it died out into that dead silence. They sat like that and Vivien studied every vein that was so prominent on Regulus' unhealthy, grey skin.
"Why don't you want to see me, Regulus? Because I want to see you even when you feel like shite or especially if you're feeling like shite." She whispered, masking how sick to her stomach she was at his cracking faรงade.
It wasn't that Regulus didn't want to see Vivien. Not ever again in his life he wanted to let Vi out of his sight. But he didn't deserve to make that wish.
It felt wrong of him to wish for her to always be beside himโwith him.
He was wrong. He had no right to ever beg in prayer any god for Vi, when he was such a pathetic being.
But Regulus loved Vi. He didn't even know when it happened but he did love her, and she was his everything. He wished for a future with her, even if it wasn't his placeโeven if it was always fake and wrong.
He had no right to a future with her after he had been lying to her from the beginning and misused her trust.
Vivien saw how Regulus' eyes turned tearful and a tear escaped themโsilence lingering. She broke out the stillness, moving on her knees, hoping to reach and wipe his tear off with all the sadness she saw consuming that sweet, poor boy.
But Regulus immediately reacted, putting his hand up as a sign for her to stop herself.
"Please, don't." And he wiped his cheek on his own.
He didn't answer why he didn't want to see her, but the message that he didn't want her to touch him was loud and clear. Vivien felt foolish. Maybe it was a mistake that she visited?
I overstepped the lines, he asked to respect! She always invited herself to places where she wasn't welcomed! Stupid!, was all she was.
"I think I should leave. I'm sorry I came, Regulus." Vivien murmured under her nose, feeling foolish.
She began scrambling out of the wardrobe, uncomfortable with the awkward situation she had put Regulus and herself in. She was out of the wardrobe and Regulus stayed unmoved.
She was about to close the door-
"Stay." She heard him.
The other door of the wardrobe opened. Regulus slowly got out and she waited for him patiently to not hurry him.
"Please stay, Vi." He faced her, begging with his weak voice and teary eyes, trying to keep all emotions bottled inside.
"Alright." Vivien nodded her head.
She opened her arms for him, uncertain if he would like that.
He threw himself onto her and she hugged him tightly.
Regulus began sobbing so badly that Vivien felt her eyes overflow too.
Poor, poor boy. She didn't know how much pain he had inside himself until he cracked in her shoulders, sobbing in her neck.
"It's fine, Regulus. Let it out. Let it all out. I'm here with youโyou're not alone." She rubbed his back, giving him all the assurance she could.
Regulus cried even more. He didn't deserve that! He didn't deserve Vi to be there with him! He deserved the loneliness like the pathetic bug he was... But loving Vi was stronger than him.
He was a selfish, pathetic bug! He cried until his throat burned like hell.
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ย ย ย ย ย Friday and Saturday were gloomy and quiet days. White and snowy Highlands turned grey and muddy. Snow turned into shite.
Vi spent those two days laying on the couch reading "Frankenstein". When Regulus didn't sleep, she would read it out loud as he lay on his bed, quietly observing the ceiling. She would occasionally read to Evan too. Once even Cassie, Barty, and Rora visited to listen. When they thought Vi wasn't looking, they shared meaningful glances with Regulus, who tiredly shook his head.
Vivien didn't say anything, although she could feel the tension thickening the air. There was an erumpent crushing everything in the roomโor whatever anyone wanted to call the situation when Vivien's friends were hiding something from her and she could tell it was significant to them.
But Sunday was supposed to be a good day! It has sun in its name! After an early and lonely breakfast, Vivien wandered to the Hospital Wing before tracking down her last stop in the snake den. She held a plate with a few different things, hoping Regulus would have an appetite for one of them. She barely saw him eatโwhen he did, it was a few bites and the meal was over for him. And he was already so thinโฆ
She didn't want to let him starve his bodyโฆ
Walking through the Slytherin common room, she saw snakes were waking. There were only a few, still sleepy. She crept quietly and at Regulusโ dorm door she put her ear to his door to check if boys were already awake.
She heard voices, but neither of them was Regulus. One was a woman voice.
"I don't know, Cas!" Evan whisper-shouted.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, lurking in the room.
"Hi?" She saw two Slytherins turn around towards her, standing under the door of the bathroom. "What is going on?" She slid inside, carefully closing the door.
Evan and Dorcas seemed on the edge, close to snapping like two wands. Vivien's heart sank when she noticed Regulus' bed was empty.
"Regulus closed himself in the bathroom." Evan sniffed.
Vi barely put the plate down on the coffee table without letting it slip out of her hand and drop to the ground.
"When?"
"I don't know. Like over ten minutes ago." Evan's hands shook as he was gesticulating, his tone tremored. "I was still asleep but I woke up after he smashed something. He isn't answering me. I went for Cas but still nothing."
Vivien came to the two, examining them. They were fine physically, losing their minds out of worry.
"Maybe he's unconscious?" She swallowed, passing past.
It was silly but she grasped the handle, thinking it would magically open the doorโwishing it would.
"He isn't. Listen." They went silent to hear the repetitive light and quick steps coming from the inside of the bathroom.
Regulus was walking back and forth, disturbed.
Vivien closed her eyes, breathing deeply and steadily. That's good, isn't it? She thought until Regulus' steps went quiet. After a solid second a sudden smash echoed through her head. Glass scattering on the stone.
Vivien looked over her shoulders to see Evan brush his shaky hand through his hair, and Cassie put her hand over her mouth after she had yelped. Dorcas Meadowes wasn't easily horrified.
Vi didn't know what to do, her eyes overflowed with tears. She leaned against the door, thinking about all the things that could be happening behind that closed door.
"Regulus, please open the door." She said quietly. "Please."
Silence.
"Please, I'm begging you to open the door. I know there is something you all don't tell me but I can help you, Regulus." She tried to keep her tone steady and voice calm.
No answer.
Vivien took an unstable breath.
"Don't you remember? We agreed to be the kind of best friends that can confide in each other."
Those words had to move Regulus.
Vivien heard his steps until they stopped againโat the doorโhopefully to open it.
Until there was a heavy deaf slam against the doorโhe sat with his back against it.
"No, no, no. Don't isolate yourself. Please, Regulus. Just open the door. Please." Vivien mumbled out through tears that she tried to fight off.
Evan was walking back and forth, silently sobbing. Dorcas stood beside Vivien, trying to soothe her down.
Vi could feel her hand massage her back as she leaned against the door too.
They all heard Regulus cry out in pain. Vivien clenched on the handle, jerking it.
"You told me I have all the people around me ready to help me, so do you, Regulus." She gritted through her teeth frustratedly. "So open the fucking door and let us help you!"
Another cries came and Vi couldn't stand that. She couldn't stand Regulus' cries, hurting himself.
"Open the door." She hit her forehead on the door.
With more cries came another thuds.
"Open the door."
"Open the door."
"Open the door, Regulus."
"Open the fucking door!" She shouted, smacking her forehead on the door with all the strength she had like a maniac.
It hurt but it didn't matter. Regulus only mattered.
"Vi, calm down." Vivien heard Cassie sniff.
Evan approached her and pushed his hand between her forehead and the door before she would slam through them, breaking her skull.
Vivien was weeping. They all cried with Regulus.
Vivien fell to her knees against the door, her forehead pulsing.
"Regulus, you are the muse and-and I am just an artist. If something hap-pens to you, I will lose my light. Even on your darkest days, you are my-my light, Regulus. Please, please, don't leave me in the dark. I'm afraid of darkness. You were right, I'm afraid, so please open the door."
Vivien shut her eyes tight, pressing her forehead against the door. She heard something like a clack of a glass. She felt movements against the door. Regulus clumsily got up to his feet, leaning on it. She, Dorcas, and Evan somehow gathered themselves from them too.
"Please," They took a collective step back.
The door opened slowly. Gray Regulus opened them, crying quietly. But what he did was unnaturalโthe door opened to his left but he used his right hand. At his feet lay a bloody piece of the mirror. His left arm hung like a lumpโmonotionless.
Vi took a step forward.
"What did you do?" She murmured more to herself than him, taking his left hand in hers. It was so cold.
And Vi felt on her fingers the thin rivers of blood that were swimming down his arm. They both glanced at each other before Vivien rolled up the sleeve of his jumper. It was a cut on a cut, the skin marked with the symbol.
It was a skull out of which crawled a serpent writhing like its tongue.
That poor, sweet boy had tattooed a dark mark on his forearm that Vi had seen so many times untouched, now butchered and marked.
Vivien recognised the mark of the Death Eaters from her father's description.
Evan's eyes overflew with tears and Dorcas gasped at the sight.
Vivien swallowed and looked at Regulus.
She was wrong to tease him, saying he looked all that time like the first survivor of the dementor kiss. In that exact minute he seemed unimaginably close to not making the title.
"I'm sorry,"
He murmured, collapsing onto Vivien. Thankfully, Evan was there to help her, backing her up, soon taking Regulus' whole weight and body on himself.
"We have to take him to Madame Pomfrey." Dorcas claimed. She rolled her lips into her mouth, examining Regulus' arm close after he rested like a human-sized lump in Evan's arms.
"No." Black protested, barely alive.
"What do you mean no?" Evan asked, sniffing. "It's that or death."
"None can see the mark..."
Vivien understood.
"Fine." She nodded.
Dorcas and Evan looked at her.
"Lay him down." She instructed, feeling her heart thud in her breast twice as hard as before at the risky idea.
"What?!" Meadowes whisper-shouted, when Vi was already walking towards the cabinet inside the bathroom.
"I said lay him down!" She shouted, losing her temper.
Carefully, she stepped into the pieces of mirror, crouching down in front of the cabinet to search for everything she needed.
"That we heard!"
"So do it!" Vivien gritted through her teeth, grabbing things she needed in her arms. "Please!"
Dorcas and Evan looked at each other before doing so. They dragged Regulus and laid him down on his bed. Vivien came after them.
"If Regulus doesn't want to get help, help is going to get him." She sniffed, letting the surgical suture, needles, potion, and bandages fall on the bed.
Regulus opened his eyes at the new weight hitting the mattress near him.
Evan's eyes widened. " You are going to stitch him up?!"ย
"It's that or burying him in the middle of the night in the Forbidden Forest!"
They didn't have time to argue about that! They had to react now!
"Alright." Dorcas nodded frantically. "What do you need us to do?"
"You need to keep his sides unmoved." Vivien sat down beside Regulus. "And alive."
She looked at that sweet, poor boy, leaning over him.
"So conscious?" Evan sat down on the other side of Regulus.
"Yh-ym." Vivien hummed, placing her hand on Regulusโ cheek. She stroked it softly.
"Hi," He smiled weakly, opening his red eyes.
"Hi," She smiled softly, brushing the hair out of his face. "Regulus, I need to stitch up your arm, alright? It will hurt like hell and worse, but I need you to keep your beautiful eyes open. Can you do that for me?"
"For you? Always, Vi." He somewhat smirked.
Great!, at least on his deathbed, Regulus was in a good mood. It had to be adrenaline for Vi but she smashed her lips on Regulus', and it had to be a close-death experience for him but he moved his against hers. She moved hers slowly for him to be able to keep up. She pulled herself away, leaning over him.
"Good boy." She smirked through tears, trying to not stress him out about his own state.
Regulus pushed himself to kiss Vi again with the rest of the will he had left in his body.
Evan and Dorcas looked at each other through their swollen eyelids and glued eyelashes, bewildered. WHAT THE FUCK? The young couple found the perfect time to flirt!
Another few moments felt for Vi like the effects of smoking too much like during the Hallowe'en party. She was moving in time from one moment to another. Her hands shook as she was stabbing Regulus' delicate skin with a needle to push it through another piece of his skin to keep it all together.
Regulus was struggling. She had to give him some notebook to bite his teeth into. It was the closest thing she found that would fit into his mouth. Evan and Dorcas were pushing Regulus' limbs into the mattress, when Vi was wrestling with his left arm, which he tried to yank it a few times.
One minute Vivien breathed a sigh of relief, and another she was putting her ear to Regulus' chest and mouth.
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ย ย ย Vi?
Hm?
I don't think that-that he's breathing.
That would be words Vivien would never forget. She lay on the sofa, observing the beauty of the architecture that the vaulted ceiling in the Slytherin dormitories was. Her eyes drew the lines, her ears listening to the soft snores of Evan. He and Cassie rested on Regulus' sides.
In Evan's bed, Pandora rested. She and Barty had felt dread, entering the dormitory only to find Vivienโdoing what seemed like an execution by kiss of deathโon Regulus. She stuck their mouth and pushed on his chest when she, Cassie, Evan, and Regulus were all bathed in his blood.
Now, Barty sat beside Vi in the armchair, keeping an eye on her. After literally saving Regulus' life, she got out of his bed and laid down on the sofa very much in deep shock. She didn't change her clothes or wash her hands and face. She lay down, bloody and sweaty. Barty saw how she would swallow and blink sometimes. She didn't cryโshe didn't speak. She just laid down, her eyes not once moving away from the ceiling. In over two hours, she had to have it analysed to perfection.
Firstly, Regulus heard. He heard Evan snoring into his ear.
Then he felt his hot breath tickle his neck. He could also smell the minty breath that his best friend had. Lastly he opened his eyes, seeing the ceiling of his dorm. He laid flat on his mattress.
He blinked a few times, feeling so weak that he could only turn his head to the sides. On one of his sides, he saw Cas, who laid her head on his sore shoulder. And on the other side was Evan. Somewhere in the background, he saw Pandora. Barty was probably sneaking somewhere around.
Regulus was glad his friends were with him, but his heart ached because none of them were her. He faced the ceiling, one tear rolled down his cheek. Then another one, and another. Until he sobbed out loud, waking his alarmed friends immediately.
Dorcas and Evan both embraced Regulus.
"Shhh, it's alright, Regulus."
Pandora also woke, immediately scrambling and reaching her friends.
"It's not alright." He shook his head, crying.
"It is." Pandora assured, stretching out over Evan's torso to grasp Regulus' hand, gently squeezing it.
"It's not and it won't be. And it's my fucking fault. She hates me, doesn't she?"
"Who? V-"
"I don't hate you!" Vivien protested and Regulus' heart broke free out of his chest.
Despite all the odds, he raised his head to look at the footboard of the bed, where she stood.
Vivien was clenching her hands on the bedframe, and Barty was backing her up. Regulus realised what the fuck he truly had done only when Vi stood there with the skin of her hands, neck, and face stained by his blood after she smeared it all over herself in stress. Her long sleeve was destroyed forever. Her hair knotted from how she ripped it by brushing her fingers through it in panic, and her lips were butchered from how she bit on their meat in nerves.
But the worst was her foreheadโbrutally bruised. Before Regulus fainted, he was too weak to notice it, but now he realised that when Vi was smacking on the door, she was smacking her head on it.
The rest of his friends looked okay, but Vivien stayed looking like she had walked through hell and back after what happened. She was still in shock.
"Vi-" His voice cracked, his head landed back on the pillow.
Vivien dragged her feet to the mattress, where she sat at the end, laying her hand on his leg.
Barty put a hand on her shoulder. She glanced up at him giving her encouragement to say whatever she needed to say. He took a note on her dilated pupils, expecting everything from her, adrenaline running through her systems even after two hours.
Vivien focused on Black with a deep breath.
"Regulus, I don't hate you! Never did I, and never would I." She nervously brushed her hand through the knots that her hair was. "Everything I said to you in the morning was true. You are my little star and my light. If you're not around, I'm lost. I'm like a moth in the darkness." Her eyes were wide open, and her expression was blank, when she spoke numb.
Vivien didn't have the same talent with her words as Regulus but for him, she was willing to try every time. No matter if it was in the bed only between them two or in the crowd of people ready to judge her for how mysterious and poetic she pathetically tried to sound, but as long as it meant something for Regulus, she was willing to try.
Regulus smiled sadly. Even after he hurt his friends, including her, they were all comforting him. He could never deserve any of them.
"You shouldn't, Vi. You're like a butterfly, and on better days all I might be is a moth at best."
"No, you are an angel every day."
Evan, Dorcas, Pandora, and Barty only listened.
"I'm not, Vi. I know you saw the mark." Regulus chuckled bitterly.
"When did I say I didn't? I saw the markโso?"
"So you know who I am."
"Yes. You're Regulus."
"No, I'm a monster."
"Pretty shitty then. I thought your kind was supposed to be ugly?" Her head tilted.
"Vi, please. Just don't act like it's fine. That-that you're fine with it."
"Again, when did I say that? I'm not fine, but what do you expect me to do? Cut off your arm? You could tell me that before I spent the time of my day putting it all together."
"Vi, I wanted to become a Death Eater. I asked my parents for that after Sirius declined. I asked to take his place and I did that proudly."
"Do you still want to be one then? That scarification doesn't seem like a yes, but what would I know?"
"Vi-"
" Vi me again, Regulus, and I swear I will combust in flames. I knew!" She threw her hands irritated, beginning to gesticulate.
He wasn't getting it!
"I knew you were about to become a Death Eater! I suspected it! I just-I just thought they were still testing you since you're so young, not that they had already recruited you. But I knew! I just thought you were under observation! Regulus, your parents inbred you to keep the family the purest. I'm not stupid! You're Black of the purest blood. Young boy, Slytherin, cunning. I didn't think you were going out with your parents for the family dates during the summer. I was aware that sooner or later it would happen no matter what."
"You asked me to be your friend anyway?" Regulus interrupted quietly.
"No." Vivien shook her head and they gazed at each other.
His brows knitted together.
"I asked you to be my best friend. I don't care about any of that. I only care what I think, and I think I'm looking at a sixteen-year-old boy who is lost and desperate for someone to love him. My sweet, dumb boy." Her eyes twitched.
They all glanced at her. Of course Regulus misjudged Vivien.
"Do you want a hug?" Evan offered, uncertain if it was the right question.
Vivien nodded her head, and they all removed their hands from Regulus. She crawled on all fours to Regulus' side in the tight space between him and Evan. She laid her aching forehead against his neck, and then the rest hugged her and Regulus.
"I don't want you to just accept this, Vi."
"I'm not accepting a single thing, Regulus. I'm accepting a personโyou. With all the stupid mistakes and stupid flaws."
"You shouldn't. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve me."
"But I am, and I do. I built up a friendship on the foundation of being raped by someone sick. So don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I think I can handle a boy neglected by his parents."
ALRIGHT.
Vivien was evidently still in shock. They all glanced at her mumbling out those words so casually just like that, cuddling to Regulus' side, her eyes closed.
Regulus never heard Vivien calling things by their names, but the events of the morning had her so exhausted and unlinked from reality.
He felt how she squeezed him.
Vi wished she could melt together with Regulus into that one body of clay but it seemed that no matter how hard she tried, it was humanly impossible. After all Mother Nature had the power that no human could achieve.
Vi couldn't fix the fact that her other half was separated from her, no matter how hard she tried.
Vivien only wanted Regulus to be safe so badly.
"I deserve the good friend that you are to me. I deserve someone kind and that's all you were to me, Regulus."
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ย ย ย ย ย Once Vi had Regulus with her, she slept.
It's not like Black had anything better to do, and it was the least he could do to fix what was broken. He listened to how her stomach growled and how she breathed. A few times she moved in her sleep anxiously only to wake and check on him every and each time. She made him eat a buttered toast with her once, and then she went back to sleep again.
Regulus could feel Vi droll because he felt the side of his neck turn wet. He didn't do a thing and let her droll. At first, Panda, Cas, and Evan stayed with them. After some time, Rora and Barty moved onto Evan's bed, and later on Evan and Cassie got out of that bed too.
Regulus could hear his friends around the room whispering, walking, and living. He didn't mind and rested with Vi. He felt his arm heal from how he massacred it. He placed it on Vi's waist. She woke, alerted.
Evan and Barty sat spread out on the couch, Pandora and Cassie in the armchairs. They all glanced at the young couple, who woke.
Vi wiped her wet cheek and looked down at Regulus' arm around her and up at his face. She had her sleepy eyes and swollen face that Regulus loved. He loved seeing Vi so comfortable and cosy in his arms but she was so demolished because of him that day.
Vivien opened her lips to ask Regulus to save his strength, but he outspoke her.
"It doesn't hurt. Thanks to all of you, it's fine, Vi."
Vivien rested her chin on his shoulder and they studied each other. She licked her dry sore lips, and her eyes went down on Regulus' mouth.
"I'm sorry. I kissed you." She murmured, remembering their moment of weakness.
"I kissed you back."
"You did. And then you kissed me on your own again."
"Did I?"
"You did."
"Do you want me to apologise for that, Vi?"
"No."
They whispered back and forth, their eyes lingering on each otherโs lips.
"So don't apologise to me. We both needed that." Vivien nodded her head.
Regulus saw how her pupils moved between his eyes and lips again. He did the same once more, glancing at her poor hurt lips.
"Vi, do you still need that...?"
"The kiss?"
"Yeah."
"An exception? This one time?"
"For like my near-death experience."
"Yeah, yeah."
They both agreed with each other, and their friends rolled their eyes. It took the young couple like sixteen days, one big fight, one banter per hour, and around seven mental breakdownsโat least two traumatic onesโto give into each other. But it was an expectation, whatever helped them two sleep better.
Vivien placed her hands on Regulus' neck. Mentally she cringed, figuring out she had drolled on him. He laid a hand on her cheek, stroking it. She glanced at him.
"Once our lips are broken awayโit is the end?"
"Yes."
Vivien took a moment to think, and Regulus observed her.
"Can I do it properly then?" She asked.
"To not waste it?"
"Yes." She nodded her head delicately.
"Sure." Regulus half-smiled.
Vivien didn't hesitate to straddle weak Regulus to sit on his crotch. It occurred to their friends sitting under the other wall that she didn't know they were there! Vi didn't know she wasn't alone with Regulus, and he didn't tell her. Of course he didn't! With her on top of him he didn't care or he even forgot.
Vivien softly linked their lips, letting them flow together. Their friends thought it would be the end when she parted awayโbut Vivien and Regulus looked into each otherโs eyes longingly.
They crushed their lips against each other againโthis time a little too eager than they should after Regulus lied to himself that once the kiss broke away they would be broken away for good. Vivien was so ready to consume Regulus, his hands on her waist. She arched her back, sticking her bum out to emphasise where she would like those hands to rest on her body the most until she heard someone clearing their throat.
Vi sprang from Regulus, petrified to see their friends on the couch and armchairs on the other side of the room. Her cheeks burned hellishly. They were there the whole time! She stared at their friends in disbelief.
Regulus rolled his eyes, remembering now that they were there. He was glad they were there for the most time, but at times like this one it was inconvenient.
"Don't mind us. You can go on." Barty smirked.
"We weren't doing anything like that." Vivien claimed, brushing the strands of her knots behind her ears.
"No, no. I'm sure you weren't." Evan snorted tiredly.
Cassie rolled her eyes and stood up, Aurora did the same with a sigh.
"Come here, Vi."
The girls helped Vi untangle her hair. They put a healing cream on her bruised forehead. Pandora, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty gathered their faรงades the best they could to go for dinner like nothing happened. They wore their everyday clothes, their usual hairstyles, and their smiles, leaving Regulus and Vivien alone.
Vi swore to take off the stinky, bloody clothes and shower. In the meantime, they would bring some food for the two.
But firstly, Vivien told Regulus to shower and put on some clean pyjamas. She was changing his bedsheets into clean ones, listening to him shower with an open door. When he came out, he seemed washed off from everything that happenedโstill pale but not touched by the tragedy, his sleeves unrolled.
Vivien was the last one to leave what happened where it happenedโin the past.
She stood in the bathtub, watching the blood mix with water until water swimming down her body was all clear as it was supposed to be.
She swallowed, watching herself in the mirror that a few hours ago was in pieces. One of those pieces was stained with Regulus' blood a few hours before.
And Vi understood what happened. He couldn't look at himself anymore. The truth was eating him from the inside out. He blamed himself for the corruption he was a victim of. He hated what he saw every time he looked into the mirror.
Vivien didn't know what to do. Take off the mirror?
Turn it away?
Charm it with some spell?
She didn't know how to help. She rubbed her face.
They were so fucking tired, and was it even the beginning already? Vivien wanted to smash her head into that stupid mirror. Instead she dragged her feet towards the room. In the bathroom, she had left the door open for Regulus to hear that she was there with him. Now she slipped out and found him lying in his bed. He was examining his forearm and she came closer.
"The scars will need another potion. I will brew it later for you. You know, I didn't have time for it today." She murmured, sitting down on the bedside.
"Do they disgust you?" Regulus furrowed his eyebrows.
"Your scars?"
"Scars in general."
Vivien took a hold of Regulus' wrist, carefully bringing it to her. She looked at the silver marks that shone on his tattooed skin.
"They never could. I think every scar tells a story of surviving. You know the one on my knee? It tells the story of how I survived the fall from the oak tree when I was five." She smiled softly. "Yours tells the story of how you survived the dark times in your life. Surviving doesn't disgust me. I think there is something beautiful about that." She stroked softly one of his silver marks.
"Then I don't want to heal them. If they don't repulse you, it's all that matters to me."
Vivien glanced at Regulus. He was smiling. Her brows softened.
"Regulus, no." She argued gently. "It's your decision and I don't want you to make it based on my opinion. It might be unsafe. What if your parents see them? What if Voldemort sees them? I want you to rethink that." She rolled her lips into her mouth. She wanted Regulus to be safe!
"And I want anyone who ever sees this tattoo engraved in my skin to know that it was a decision of a blinded child and not of the good person I will be one day."
"You already are a good person. You're kind, Regulus." She assured.
"My heart wants to be kind but I am not a good person yet, Vi. I wanted the tattoo of the people who proudly kill people." He laughed bitterly. "Vi, I wore on my skin the tattoo of people who proudly killed your family when I made love to you and with you, hiding the truth from you..."
Vivien looked down at his arm. It was true. What Regulus did to her was unfair but Regulus didn't know a lot about fairness. He wasn't taught it or treated with it.
Vivienโs eyes filled with tears, and her throat achingly closed. One of her tears spilled and fell from her cheek onto Regulus' arm. She was lost.
Am I stupid?
Should I hate him?
Should I tell on him?
Should I tell on everyone?
Vivien only wanted someone to tell her what she should do, but the person she depended on didn't know what they wanted from life as much as she did.
What does Regulus want me to do? Stand up, go to the Dumbledore office, and tell him everything I know? And what would it do? What good would it do? What do I even really know? What could I prove?
Dumbledore and McGonagall couldn't guarantee Vivien, her brothers, and Regulus safety, and that's all she wanted. It was the only reason she kept her mouth shut to begin with.
Regulus' heart broke. He hurt Vi, telling her the truth in the harshest way possible simply because he was petty.
"Vi, I'm-"
"Please, don't." She didn't need Regulus' apology.
He only spoke the truth, but she felt foolish after he said it like thatโlaughed in her face. Even Regulus himself thought she was a fool for accepting him as he was, and he poked it at her. She pulled his arm to her lips, kissing his skin to heal well, before she let go and turned away from him.
"Could you?" She murmured numb.
Regulus backed and Vi lay down on her side, her back facing him. She lay close to him, leaving only inches between but leaving them. She curled into the ball.
"You are right, Vi. I'm the youngest."
"Congratulations, Regulus. Good luck, dare I say? You might need it." She said it as bitterly as he laughed at her before.
Vi felt Regulus move a little closer to her. Not close enough to touch her, but close enough for her to feel his presence and warmth. To be sure that she knew she wasn't alone either.
In that specific case, Yes, I am, and he can't do anything about it.
Regulus didn't mean to make Vi feel like he laughed at her. He was laughing at himself. But he had hurt her and he wanted to bite off his own tongue.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Do you want to die, Regulus?"
Vivien asked him after their friends returned to the dormitory. They all sat on the sofa and armchairs, the two feasting.
She was too terrified to ask him alone.
WHAT IF I CAN'T HANDLE THE ANSWER!
"What?" He asked, stupefied.
She asked so suddenly and so straightforwardly.
"Do you want to die?" She repeated, biting into the sandwich quickly after repeating the question.
They glanced at each other.
"No, Vi."
"Then wh-why did you do it?"
"I-I..." He sighed. "I don't know. I just wanted to get rid of the mark. I was in distress. I knowโit was the most irrational option. But in that moment when I was closed in the bathroom, it was only important for it to be gone. I thought everything would be easier if I just didn't have it. I didn't want to scare any of you. I woke panicking, and it was an impulse."
"Are you lying?"
"No, Vi. Yes, I'm afraid of life but even more of death. I panicked. I swear I was in distress in the morning."
"Another time, just wake me up then, mate." Evan murmured, lying his head against the backrest, given up after the day they all had.
"I'm sorry, Evan." Regulus looked at him, then at Dorcas, who was smiling faintly. "Cassie..."
His face softened.
Barty observed the scene silently. He had the best ability to detach himself from all that.
"Reg, don't apologise to us. It's not what we want. We want to know how we can help." Cas claimed, even if her smile was weak. Poor Cassie... Regulus felt so guilty. The day had to bring back memories of how she lost her dad.
"I don't know. It's just all happened. I lost it."
Regulus truly didn't know what happened. He surely wasn't ready to go, and he didn't mean to hurt himself like that, but all of it overwhelmed him. In that sick moment of weakness, it gave him pleasure to take out all his inner frustration on himself. It was true what he said. He woke, feeling so unreal. For the past few days, he had been sliding down the spiral of emotions that drove him into losing contact with reality. At that moment, he didn't feel real. It just happened. He just stabbed and cut the tattoo, even when his skin burned like hell.
And after the day the teenagers all had, they all found a way to laugh.
"Good to see that that muggle heart massage thing came handy, Vi." Evan joked after Vivien rested her head on his shoulder. Regulus lay his head in her laps and she brushed his soft curls.
Evan, Vivien, and Barty learned about some healing techniques in Muggle Studies. Vivien learned it, thinking it would be usable someday. Unfortunately, she was right.
"How did you sew Regulus' arm so nicely, though?"
"I used to sew up my brothers whenever one of them would cut themselves so grandma wouldn't scold."
"How old were you when she taught you to sew up a body like this?" Pandora quirked an eyebrow, disturbed with a weird idea.
"Taught me? My grandma didn't teach me to sew up anyone. I taught myself."
Evanโs eyes widened in horror. Cassie snorted. Pandora's eyes nearly fell out. Barty and Regulus didnโt react.
"You just went into sewing up people?" Pandora pursued in disbelief.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders, "My grandma did it for work. I figured out if she was capable of it, it can't be that hard."ย
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ย ย ย ย ย On Monday, Black and Vivien stayed in his dormitory together. He told her about everything that happened on that stupid Tuesday that started it all as she was cutting his overgrown hair. He told her about the confrontation he had with Carrow after he and his little friends attacked Mary and Vi.
But Carrow made Regulus aware that he was after all still the same bad person tooโwith how he kept lying to Vi and keeping her in the dark about the truthโhis position and situation.
Ironically, Regulus knew his old friends were just jealous of his little position, and Amycus mocked him since his little fiancรฉe was mudbloods' little protector, while he was the greatest Regulus Black. It all added to his guilt. He elaborated that a lot happened on the same day, and it overwhelmed him.
The attack of Mulciber on Mary MacDonald and of Carrow on her. It all triggered him. He kept bottling everything up until the glass cracked and he shattered into pieces.
"And to begin with, in the morning, I got the letter. From mother and father. We are invited to a feast with others."
"You and your parents?"
"No. Me and you, Vi. He wants to meet my fiancรฉe. Voldemort wants to meet you, Vivien."
"Right." She nodded her head, tightening her lips in a thin line.
Vi offered Regulus empathy. Even after he spoke so bitterly to her, insulting her dignity, she still offered him understanding. She was the only of a few people he loved, but the only one he would never deserve acceptance from, but she was the only one who gave it to himโnot his brother nor his parents.
Vi accepted Regulus. Regulus trusted Vi with his life but when their friends entered his dormitory after he let her play with scissors on his hair and they cackled out, he knew. He knew that he trusted the wrong person with his hair.
In the bathroom mirror, he saw that his hair was cut perfectly. It was even and symmetrical. It wasn't a matter of the quality of Vi's haircut but rather the choice of the cut she made.
Vivien blushed and Regulus looked at her. "Vi?"
"Hmmm?" She hummed, biting on the dry skin around her nail.
"Why did you do it?" He chuckled, honestly humoured.
"Did what? What do you mean?" She let her hand drop, her eyebrows tangling together.
"I look like you cut my hair out of the cauldron." She gave him a bowl cut!
He quirked an eyebrow at Vi's reflection as she stood beside him. Before she could defend her choice, Barty leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom, laughing his arse off.
"Regulus fucking Black, the skinny friar of the Slytherin house."
And the fits of laughter came from the dormitory.
"Don't friars practise celibacy?"
Vivien peeped at Crouch over her shoulder.
"Isn't that what Regulus does right now?" Evan took a stance with Barty.
Regulus rolled his eyes. Evan kept rubbing the salt in his wound!
"Unless..." Evan looked between the young couple at the washstand and at the room behind him, Regulus' bed especially.
"That's evil of you to even suggest that, Evan! We didn't do such a thing! Regulus is still recovering!" Vi scoffed, insulted her dignity was questioned and judged.
"It could energise him up a bit after the near-death experience, couldn't it?" Dorcas' head grew over the boys' shoulders as she stood on her toes.
Vivien felt her cheek heat up, frustrated. They couldn't let her live it down. But Regulus was there too!
In the meantime, boys let Dorcas in. Barty wrapped his arm around Cassie's shoulders, pulling her to him, resting his chin on her head. Pandora followed her friends into the bathroom. Evan let her in between him and she locked her hand around his biceps.
"Vi, what demon possessed you to give Reg that haircut?" She changed the subject to the right track.
Vi panicked! She didn't know how she managed to play it out as a joke!
As a little revenge on Regulus for frustrating her or whatever!
She was too embarrassed to tell her friends the truth after she realised everyone thought Regulus looked like he was about to join a monastery!
Regulus ignored the snarky remarks about his hair, only sometimes storming Vi with his grey eyes.
Chapter 36: stinkulus!
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย "Nice hair, Regulus. What did you use to get that shape? A bowl, or rather some cauldron?" Teddy snickered, passing Potions classroom, when the sixth-years awaited Slughorn.
His remark earned him fits of laughter from Vivien's classmates. Emmeline stuck out her hand for him to high-five it, cackling like a toad.
Vivien turned her face away from Regulus and their friends to hide her flushed cheeks.
Soon Slughorn appeared and he smiled, seeing Regulus all healthy.
"Good to see you, Mister Black." He greeted him, putting the key into the lock as his eyes travelled up, studying himโฆ and his hair. His smile vanished.
Regulus grinned shite-eatingly in exchange. Dorcas had to put her Potion volume to her mouth to suppress the snort that tried so desperately to escape her. Pandora and Evan rolled their lips into their mouths. Barty only patted Black on the shoulder.
Vivien almost curled into the ball, entering the classroom like a little mouse with her head lowered. She sat at her usual work table with Sybie, who soon joined her.
The students diffused around the classroom but the longer Vivien sat in it, the more it stunk. Sybie observed Vivien move her nose around dramatically, sniffing like a fox.
"What are you doing?" She whispered, leaning towards her.
Vivien glanced at her, sniffing her too. Sybill raised her eyebrows.
MERDE! Vivien directed her wild eyes at Regulus, sitting at the desk nearby and back at Sybill.
"Why the hell do you stink like Black?!" She asked obnoxiously, and a few students glanced at her out of the corners of their eyes, including Regulus and Emmeline at their worktable.
"What are you talking about?" Sybie sighed.
Was Vivien jealous of Regulus again? Sybill and Regulus didn't even look at each other that day!
Vivien rolled her eyes and stared at Regulus again. She folded her arms over her chest and began tapping her foot.
"Is it like a joke? Your revenge? To upset me?"
Regulus sighed theatrically, straightening in his chair as he put his hands together.
"Vi, I have no fu-" He peeped at Professor Slughorn, who peeped at him too. "I have no clue what you are talking about, Vivien."
Vivien pointed her sharp nail at him, "Why the hell does Sybill smell like you bathed her in pine?"
"I doubt it's possible to bathe someone in wood. Or why would I bathe anyone in it, including Sybill?"
"So you're not going to even deny that?"
"Deny what?"
"Vivien, what exactly are you trying to say?" Emmeline piped in, sitting beside Regulus.
Bibie just shrugged at Em, whose eyes moved between Vivien and her.
Vivien looked between Regulus, Sybill, and Emmeline, boiling with irritation. Sixth-year students observed those two worktablesโand Vivien scoffed, losing her temper.
"Why does Sybie stink like you bathed her in your perfume?!" She threw her hands in the air.
Some students chuckled at the absurd Vivien Beauchรชne was suggesting, including her friends who snickered because she made a hilarious scene for Black again.
Regulus only rolled his eyes.
"Excuse me?" Sybill blushed, pointing her short finger at him. "I do not stink like an assclown!"
To begin with Regulus didn't think he stank at all!
"Quiet class." It was only four students. "Miss Beauchรชne, I believe it might be my potion's fault to confuse you." Slughorn gathered everyone's attention.
Vivien shot her stare at him.
"And what potion exactly is it?" She chuckled bitterly.
Exfuckingcuse me, but I didn't hear about a potion that would have imitated the smell of pine!
Professor Slughorn smiled despite her attitude.
"Amortentia."
OH! Vivien's bewildered eyes moved between Slughorn and the cauldron that he pushed into the centre of his own desk. There was a white steam arising from the cauldron that diffused everywhere in the room.
Vivien felt a lot of students laughing subtly because of how she exposed herself. Somewhere she saw Cowecto, who folded her arms over her chest, looking Vivien up and down.
Someone whistled meaningfully and Vi smiled tightly with her eyes maniacalโwide open and not blinking.
"So, Miss Beauchรชne," Slughorn called her, delighted with the young romance. "-any idea what Amortentia is?"
Vivien glanced at Regulus out of the corners of her eyes.
"It's-" Her voice got stuck for a second. She cleared her throat and answered louder. "It's a love potion. The most powerful to exist. Although in reality, it doesn't create actual love, just extreme obsession."
"Exactly. Five points to Ravenclaw." The professor clapped his hands together. "Mister Black?"
"Yes, Professor?" Regulus was smirking at Vivien the whole time. BRAT!
"Any known effects?"
"Yes, yes, yes." A few students, including his friends, laughed at Regulus' eagerness to tell them about the effect of Amortentia. "The aroma. It smells differently for every person depending on what attracts them or who attracts them." He looked at Vivien, who gazed around the room awkwardly, pursuing her lips, pretending she was deep in her thoughts until her eyes met his for a split second.
The class began for good and with all the Amortentias getting brewed, the intense smell of smoky pine in the classroom was an ache for head to Vivien. She was close to passing out, choking on the musky, dusty, crusty, smell of Regulus' perfume that was tickling her throat.
Vi was leaning over her medium-sized cauldron, slowly stirring it with a ladle, watching the pearly sheen, when she felt someone approach her.
Regulus bowed his head at Sybill standing on the other side of the worktable. He leaned on his side, observing Vi from close. She was on her knees in her chair, stretching on her desk as she had her cheek resting in her hand.
She only glanced at Regulus out of the corner of her eyes. Her features were nearly neutral, if it wasn't for her pouted lips.
"How come you are the insulted one after you gave me the worst haircut of my life, told everyone I smell bad, and also publicly accused me of romancing with Sybill behind your back, Vi?" Regulus tilted his head, humoured.
Vivien shrugged, still instructing the ladle with her finger. She wasn't insulted, just a little down from the headache, but she had no strength to speak.
"I mean I can't stink so badly if it attracts you after all." Regulus chuckled, teasing her with his words. She looked at him.
"What?" She mumbled out quietly, cutely confused, her eyebrows furrowing.
"I'm flirting, Vi."
Vivien frowned and looked behind herself.
"With?" She asked.
"I think with you, Vivien." Sybie murmured, focused on her own potion but still smiling sweetly at the two.
"Oh." Vivien let out emptily, looking back at Regulus.
Suddenly, Regulus surprised Vi. He brushed strands of her hair behind her ear. Her lips parted slightly.
"Head hurts?" He smiled faintly, noticing she wasn't in the best condition.
Vivien nodded and they gazed at each other. She contemplated Regulus. His view was reliving. She smiled delicately, her eyes voyaging on his features, skimming against them.
And Vivien surprised Regulus, reaching for his ridiculously cut curls. She bit her bottom lip and tangled his curl on her finger.
Vi's eyes flickered like the pearly sheen of the Amortentia in her cauldron. It was always her eyes that always betrayed her and told others how she felt. For instance her eyes always flickered when they rested on something precious she would like to have for herself. It glimmered on pretty things she enjoyed gazing at. In that moment her irises glimmered like that on Regulus.
And it occurred to Regulus that Vi actually liked the hideous haircut she gave him, playing with his hair. She was just too embarrassed to admit it after their friends and everyone else snickered at it.
The same thing occurred to Emmeline and Sybill, their eyes meeting from afar to check if they both had the same conclusion.
Slughorn smiled to himself.
Regulus didn't say anything about the hair situation. He smirked.
"So what else do you smell? Let me guess a lavender maybe?" He joked.
Vi rolled her eyes.
"What do you smell, Rebulus?"
"Oh, I will tell you gladly." Right.
He turned onto his belly, also stretching out on the table towards Vivien's cauldron. He closed his eyes, inhaling the smell deeply until his lungs were full of steam. He opened his eyes.
"Parchment." He answered laconically.
"Parchment?" Vi quirked her eyebrow. A stupid piece of parchment? It has nothing to do with me!
"Parchment." He repeated, smiling.
"What else?" Vi's tone was demanding in a fussy way.
"Oh, I hear how it is. You want to know all of the things I smell?" He emphasised.
Vivien huffed, about to turn away from Regulus, but he caught her by her chin.
"No, no, no. I think I have a compromise. An offer hard to refuse."
His thumb drew the line of her bottom lip, his eyes moving down to it until they met her eyes. He let go of her. She was looking at him uncertainly, even if she felt her cheeks warm at his shameless touch.
"I will tell you what I smell, if you tell me what you smell."
"Smell for smell?" She squinted her eyes, suspicious of him. She bit on her bottom lip that he had touched.
Regulus nodded his head.
"Fine." She said nonchalantly. "Yes, I smell lavender." She confessed carelessly, raising her nose in air arrogantly.
He leaned towards her, brushing his nose against her cheek.
"Smoke." His whisper tickled the corner of her lips.
Vivien felt like she had already drunk Amortentia. She only smelled Regulus! And he doesn't smell a single thing about me?!
"Fresh laundry."
Regulus snorted. "Maybe you are attracted to a house elf then?"
"Yes. The only one that works free for me." Vi quickly ended Regulus' clowning and Bibie giggled, hearing how she described him.
Regulus looked at Sybill and then at Vi, his own laughter dying out.
"Humbling."
Was it? Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne just admitted to being attracted to him on the forum of the quiet class.
"Your turn." She muttered, irritated.
"Cinnamon with apples." Regulus confessed, keeping the most obvious one to the last.
And that softened Vi.
"You do?" Her face quivered.
Regulus moved towards her, poking her nose with his, causing her heart to skip, skip, skip.
"Of course I do." He assured her.
It seemed significant to her. It seemed Vi didnโt believe he meant her until he told her that straightforwardly. Parchment she drew on and the one of the books she read, smoke of the candles she lit and of the herbs she abused, cinnamon with apples perfume she sprinkled herself withโit was all Vivien was!
Vi wasn't used to Regulus flirting with her so affectionately in public. And they used to be actual lovers. She flushed as he rested his forehead against hers in a classroom full of their fellow sixth-year students. She peeled away, shy.
Regulus let her, seeing that he abashed her more and more.
"So what's the elf's name?" He teased nonetheless.
"Stinkulus." Vivien answered, collecting herself.
Regulus observed how she began packing all of her stuff.
"And I thought we came to understand that I don't smell." He chuckled in disbelief.
Vi checked the non-existential watch on her wrist and put her bag on her shoulder.
"Maybe you stink so what, Regulus? I never agreed with you that you don't. Amortentia impersonates the person. I desire you, not the fresh laundry or lavender." She informed him and finally looked at him through her eyelashes, growing to her feet. "And I think that was pretty clear from the moment I profaned your dick for the first time in your life on the Astronomy Tower, but I see hints aren't your thing either. So for clarity of your mind, I want to fuck you and not myself on the branch of the pine tree."
She smiled tightly, patting him on the shoulder before she directed her steps towards the classroom door, followed by Regulus' eyes and not only his. He involuntarily focused on her hips [ass] and how they [it] swung when she strolled so gracefully. He observed them until they disappeared out of his sight.
Slughorn glanced at the clock.
Regulus also checked the time on his watch. 2:31 o'clock.
How did she know? That was hot. Vi impressed Regulus not for the first time in his life nor the last one. How could one be so hot when moody from a headache?!
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ย ย ย ย ย After Potions, Vivien went back to her dorm to grab her furry coat. But before getting out of the castle for a walk, she visited Madame Pomfrey for some painkilling potion. Vivien needed some fresh air that day.
She stood outside the main exit of the castle with her eyes closed. She inhaled deeply through her mouth. She felt all ease, her lungs grew wider, embraced by the fresh air. It was freezing, but it was so peaceful and silent.
Vivien wandered through the Hogwarts white grounds, the snow crunching under the treads of her boots. She hid her hands in pockets of her coat, wrapped herself in it tightly. Out of her hat and fur, only her freeze-bitten nose stuck out. She was observing the Quidditch pitch and the Owlery from afar, a few owls stretching their wings, soaring on icy dry wind.
She passed the Care hut. The old kneazle of Kattleburn came to her, purring. It tangled around her boots with its tail, and Vi crouched down to pet it on its back. It hissed at her under the touch of her cold-bitten hand. It walked away gracefully.
Vi straightened and did the same, marching in her own direction. Over the pitch, some students partaking in the flying class floated highly in the blank sky.
Vivien marched towards the Hogwarts key keeper's hut. There was steam coming from the chimney, and from one of the windows came a light as it was getting darker outside. Vivien heard Rubeus Hagrid playing some Christmas carols on a flute. She walked quietly around the hut to the back, where Lughโher owlโrested. She crouched down to the small grave, and her fingers caressed the small tombstone.
"
โโแตฃแตฃ โโyโ Lแตคgโ
bโโโโ fแตฃแตขโโ แตขโ โโโ wโโโโ wโแตฃโd
1 9 7 0 - 1 9 7 6
"
"Hi, my baby." Vi petted the tombstone. "Long time no seeโI know. I'm sorry. It might surprise you but you're not the only one dead now. Or it doesn't. I hope it doesn't. I hope you, Poe, Philly, and Dusty take care of each other out there. I hope you were too absorbed with them to miss me. You can tell Philly that I take care of our brothers, but it all got complica-"
The hut back door sprang open suddenly.
"Fifien?" In the door stood an inhumanly tall and wide man with a head full of dark curls and a thick long beard.
Vi smiled softly. "Hi Rebeus."
"Wha' yeh're doin' out her' litle one?"
"Visiting Lugh." She straightened.
"At weathea like this one?"
She nodded. "Yeah."ย
"Get in herr. I'm makin' some tea."
"What tea?" Vivien slowly dragged her feet after Rebeus, who had moved inside.
"Minty fer yeh."
Her smile widened.
"Fine." She shook off her boots and entered Hagrid's hut. She came inside. It was warm. She took off her coat and hat, laying them on one of the cabinets.
"I liked the song you played on the flute. What was it? I didn't recognise it."
"'S muggle's. I hear' children sing it when I was visitin' Feldcroft sides." He explained, preparing two mismatched stoneware cups of a big jar size. "Carol of the bells, they call it." He threw different herbs in the cup and poured boiling water over them.
"I might suggest it to Flitwick. It sounds pleasing to the ear-"
"You may try, litle one."
"-which makes me wonder. What were you playing it for?" Vivien asked, leaning on the cabinet top beside him.
Hagrid placed the kettle away and took off his big cauldron holders, peeping at her.
"Yeh're too wise fer yer own good, litle one. Did someone told yeh that before?" He knitted his thick brows together.
"Everyday."
"Yeh know what folks say, curiosity is the leadin' cause of kneazels' deaths."
"Is it?" Vivien was sceptical.
"Hells know with 'em bloodea cats." Vivien and Rebeus observed each other. "I will show yeh, Fifien, but yeh musta keep it quiet and to yehself."
Vivien straightened her posture and laid one of her hands where her heart was, and the other she put up in the air.
"I promise I will keep it my deepest secret." She swore sincerely.
"Good, good. Now, come on, litle one." Rebeus turned around as his excitement and anxiety mixed together.
He walked towards his bedroom and Vivien followed. He opened the door for her, and in the small centre of his bedroom laid a dog on top of his big bed. It was quite an enormous dog, and it had three heads, and all three of them snored relaxed.
Vi looked over her shoulder at Hagrid, and he had his finger on his mouth. She gesticulated for him to go back to the living room. She slipped by Hagrid in a tight hallway and marched towards the room. After a moment, he joined her after he made sure to kiss his puppy on top of all of its heads.
"Don't you think your home might get too small for a cerberus, Rebeus?" Vivien sat down in one of two gigantic armchairs standing on both sides of the fireplace.
"'S future worry." He dropped in the other, hut softly shaking.
"But it is the future. It's already over-growing your bed?"
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ย ย ย ย ย It was nice to hang out with someone outside of Vivien's world. Rubeus Hagrid, despite all the odds, was the biggest sweetheart Vivien had ever met. He certainly lived in the same world as hers. It was simply the fact that he didn't 'keep up with rich lads stuff' nor had interest in it.
He probably didn't even know Vi was engaged or to whom. Maybe he would recognised the name, if she told him. Vi didn't even know if Hagrid and Regulus had ever met. She feared they did, and it could not be the nicest meeting since Black associated himself with a lot of evil children in the past.
Vivien spent some time with Hagrid, and he told her more about Fluffy. Some Greek chappie wanted to get rid of Fluffy as fast as possible. It was a premature puppy, but still it was growing big enough to catch up with Hagrid's height.
Vivien entered the Great Hall buried in all the layers, only her eyes, pink cheeks, and red nose sticking out of the fur. Some students watched her but Vi didn't care how she looked. She strolled towards her friends.
"Hi," She welcomed the group at their usual seats. They all looked at the furry creature that Vi was buried in her coat. She slowly unwrapped her and took off her hat. Her cheeks and nose were bitten by frost, as were her hands.
"Come here." Regulus moved to the bench and table with his plate, offering Vi a seat between him and Barty.
Vivien laid her things on Black's other side and moved in between him and Barty. She sat down, and Regulus took her hands in his, not interested in the meat pie on his plate anymore. He took her soft cold hands in his warm ones and rubbed them.
He looked up at her.
"Where were you, Vi?"
"I visited Hagrid."
"The Hogwarts' key keeper?" Evan furrowed his eyebrows, startled.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why not?" Vivien and Evan looked at each other from both sides of the table with their brows firmly frowned. The rest of the group nearly heard the rustling of the leaves that moved on the wind that blew in their heads.
"He made me tea and gave me a cookie."
"Reasonable." He stopped questioning her motives.
"I think you would like him, Evan. Like genuinely." She claimed, Regulus softly massaging her skin.
"You mean the gigantic man?" Cassie tilted her head in amusement.
"Rebeus's not fully a man. He's half-giant. That's why he's gigantic." Aurora corrected, biting on a vegetable.
"Heโs a what now?" Dorcas' face turned into a stupified one.
Everyone looked at her.
"Half-giant?" Vivien repeated carefully.
"What do you mean?" Dorcas glanced between all of them. "Like one of his parents is a giant and the other a human? How-how-"
Regulus shook his head. "Please, don't."
Dorcas shut her mouth for a second. She collected herself, gathering her thoughts after shock.
"I just thought he had some mutation that extended his body. Like the opposite of what Flitwick has." She murmured.
They all looked at her again.
" What does Flitwick have?" Barty repeated it, appearing as lost as the rest.
"Yes, that mutationโฆ dwarfism? Isnโt he a short person?" She answered hesitantly.
"WHAT?" They all asked in unison, looking between each other.
"Flitwick is half-goblin, Cassie." Pandora corrected once more.
"WHAT?"
"Short person..." Evan snorted to himself, shaking his head. What muggles hadn't thought of! Anything just to ignore the reality around them!
Vivien zoned out for a minute, her friends going back and forth on what Flitwick and Hagrid were or were not.
She looked emptily at Regulus. He looked at her too.
"Hmmm?" He hummed softly.
"I forgot Hagrid's birthday." She furrowed her eyebrows.
How could the dates escape my notice?
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ย ย ย ย ย I am the worst friend!, Vivien sat with a piece of parchment at the desk in her dormitory.
Regulus stood beside Vi, observing her hand movements as she wrote down names of people that meant something to herโor of everyone she had ever metโhe couldn't tell. He stared at some of the names she wrote down more than at the others like Mary MacDonald.
Vivien was too sensitive to leave out some of those names. But she was pressing her quill so tight the letters were dissolving into the parchment as if they were melting. Maybe they were because of Vivien's hotheadedness. He waited until finally, she put down her quill.
Vivien looked at all the dates and she wanted to smash her head into the desk! She felt justified in not sending Hermes with wishes to anyone since sending letters was strictly forbidden at Regulus' home or ignoring Mary's. But in the whole mess, I forgot about so many birthdays! Vivien felt like a monster!
Who does that?! Good thing I didn't forget my head! She looked up to Regulus with her sad little face. He brushed off the hair from her shoulder, and laid a hand on her neck.
"Don't you even dare to blame yourself, Vi." He commented before she could, caressing the centre of her throat.
Vi felt shivers down her spine. Regulus saw the small spasm that went through her body. They both didn't say anything.
"But-"
"No buts, Vi. You had a really long and awful last few months." Regulus crouched down beside her.
Vi turned towards him in the chair. "That's not-"
"That isn't an excuse. It's the truth. Tell me, Vi. Did Professor McGonagall or Flitwick seem to be insulted? Does Hagrid? Madame Pomfrey?"
"No, but-"
"No buts. They were rather worried about why you forgot rather than the fact that you forgot. But I'm certain they all understand."
"Fine! But what about Benjy?! Dove? Raven?"
Vivien's roommates listened to the young couple's discussion.
Benjy's name thrown into Regulus' face had to play on his nerves.
"Who's Benjy?" He cut in.
"Fenwick." Vivien replied, lifting her eyebrows. Regulus took a moment to think.
"The one that graduated like four years ago?"
"Three actually." Emmeline murmured, lying in her bed and savouring some potato crisps. She was watching Regulus and Vivien.
Three? Thatโs bad!
"That makes him like twenty-two now?" Regulus said, alarmed.
"So?" Vivien crossed her arms over her chest.
"Isn't he a little too old for-"
"I think McGonagall is like three times older, and she still deserves to celebrate her birthday? Why is he too old for that?"
"Vi and Benjy are not like that, Regulus." Pandora chuckled.
The couple glanced at her. Pandora was sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room, doing one of her alchemy experiments.
She had piped in the middle of their argument, clarifying what was on Regulus' mind that Vi misread.
Vivien and Black looked back at each other.
"Wait-" She stood up, unintentionally pushing the chair away, her nails pointed at him. "You thought I was romancing with Benjy?!"
Regulus straightened with a sigh, "If I say no, will you not get angry?"
It was too late. Vivien felt betrayed and hurt at the insinuation.
"No! I'm not a cheater!" She snapped. The audacity!
"Vivi, you just thought he was cheating on you with me." Sybill murmured, sitting beside Pandora on the carpet, helping her with the alchemy experiment out of curiosity.
"Yes, he on me. Not I on him!" Vivien gesticulated, pointing her finger at him, then at herself, and back at him, instructing how it worked. "I wouldn't cheat on Regulus!" She stomped her foot, still pointing her finger at him.
They all glanced at her. Regulus wondered if Vivien understood how the words she spoke sounded. She thought he was cheating on her, then proclaimed her loyalty and devotion to him, saying she would never cheat on him. Her roommates exchanged meaningful gazes with each other and Regulus.
Vivien realised she said something questionable after the room stilled with silence. She rolled her eyes.
"What." She asked dryly.
Yes, she didn't understand how her words sounded. They all stayed silent. She scoffed.
Vivien didn't like when untold things were kept away from her. She turned around and sat down, ignoring those clowns that her friends were! Regulus took a step back towards the chair.
"What are you doing?" He leaned over Vivien's shoulder.
She peeped at him.
"Since I'm already here with a quill and some parchment, I will write the letter to Eden and send it with others from my brothers obviously." She murmured.
He tilted his head, "Can I write something to my buddy too for you to send it with others?" He questioned gently, not knowing if it was one of those things that were only Beauchรชne siblings friendly.
Vi smiled softly, forgetting her annoyance, her heart warmed.
"Could you?" Her eyes sparked, hopefully.
"Of course."
"Then please do."
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โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฑโโฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย During breakfast another morning, Vivien collected the letters from her brothers. To her surprise, not only did she get a letter from Regulus but also from Evan. Her friends could see that her eyes became tearful as she accepted it.
Evan hugged her to soothe her sensitive side.
What Vivien didn't even know was the inside content of that letterโit was a group project. At first, Evan was confused about how a five-year-old child was supposed to read the letter. So were Rora, Barty, Cassie, and a few other people that he had asked for a few nice words from the bottom of their hearts for the little birthday boy. It occurred to themโit wasn't the words on parchment that mattered. It was the letter itselfโintentions and memory of him.
Beauchรชnes wanted to make sure that in the future, when Eden and Philippe looked back in time, they would know they were always remembered. Neither was forgottenโtheir brothers and big sister always thought about themโeither from the next room behind the wall or from the next country, miles away.
There were so many people who thought about them. Regulus, Evan, and anyone who ever heard about them from Beauchรชnes.
Which was everyone.
It was so natural for them to speak about Eden and Philly like they were there with them. Ignoring Vivien's great curiosity, she didn't open anyone's letter to peep at what they all wrote down. She collected the letters, packed them all together, and sent Hermes with them to her mama.
ย
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฑโโฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
"
๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป 15๐ฝ๐ฑ, 1977
๐๐ฒ ๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท, ๐ฒ๐ฝ'๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ผ๐!
๐จ๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐พ๐ป๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ญ๐ช๐, ๐ถ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช.
๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐ฎ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฑ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ. ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ต๐๐ช๐๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ. ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ญ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ถ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ฎ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ช๐ญ๐ต๐, ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐พ๐ซ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐ฐ๐๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ช๐ต๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐.
๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฎ, ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ต๐.
๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐พ๐ท๐ญ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ธ.
๐๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ญ๐ช๐, ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ช๐ต ๐ญ๐ช๐, ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐'๐ถ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ช๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ต๐ญ๐ป๐ธ๐ท, ๐๐ช๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ๐ต๐.
๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ด๐ฏ๐พ๐ต ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ช๐ต ๐๐ช๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ, ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ.
๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ช๐ญ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท๐.
๐ข๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ, ๐ถ๐ช ๐น๐พ๐ฌ๐ฎ!
๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ท, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ!
"
ย ย ย The more days passed, the more Vivien couldn't wait to see Eden! She was so excited to see her baby. Her little brother turned five! The last few days of school were unbearable for Vi, who wished to see if Eden grew a bit! She was so thrilled to surprise her brothers and Regulus!
Regulus needs a break from his world!
She might or might not had sent a letter at one point in December pleading Mrs. and Mr. Black for a favour. She was ready to beg Regulus' parents on her knees if needed but after a long wait she got a positive answer.
Walburga probably wrote it through her gritted teeth! Vivien packed her shite on Monday evening, ready to leave at any moment.
Holiday break started on Thursday!
ย
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโฑโโฐโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
"
๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป 12๐ฝ๐ฑ, 1977
๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต๐ธ, ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป,
๐๐ฝ'๐ผ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐๐ธ๐พ.
๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐น๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ.
๐'๐ถ ๐๐ป๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ช ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป. ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช๐ผ๐ด ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ถ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ถ๐ฒ๐ต๐'๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐๐ฑ๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ช๐ผ ๐ซ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐น๐ต๐ช๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ข๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ญโ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ญ๐ผ, ๐ท๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐๐ธ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ด๐ฎ, ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ. ๐'๐ถ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ถ๐ช ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ผ๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป.
๐ ๐ด๐ท๐ธ๐ ๐'๐ถ ๐ช๐ผ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐บ๐พ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐พ๐ฝ๐ฎ, ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐พ๐ถ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฏ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐ท๐ญ๐ธ๐ท. ๐๐พ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ผ ๐ช ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช ๐ฐ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ถ๐ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ. ๐๐ท๐ญ ๐'๐ถ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ผ. ๐๐พ๐ป ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ป๐ถ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐พ๐ท๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ถ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ผ, ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐พ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ.
๐ก๐ฎ๐ฐ๐พ๐ต๐พ๐ผ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฝ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ด๐ฎ๐ฎ๐น ๐ช๐ท ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท ๐พ๐ผ, ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฒ๐ฏ ๐๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ซ๐พ๐ป๐ท ๐ญ๐ธ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ.
๐'๐ถ ๐ช๐ผ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ช๐ต ๐ช๐ท๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป.
๐ก๐ฎ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฏ๐พ๐ต๐ต๐, ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ช๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท.
"
"
๐๐๐ธ๐๐๐ท๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ง๐๐ฝ, ๐ฃ๐ซ๐ฉ๐ฉ
๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐พ๐๐พ๐๐.
๐ฒ๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐ฝ ๐พ๐ ๐น๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐น, ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐น๐๐ธ๐พ๐น๐๐น ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐น ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ถ๐๐.
๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ถ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐น ๐ถ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ธ๐พ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ธ๐๐ ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ถ ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐.
๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐'๐ ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ท๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ฎ๐พ๐๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐. ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐ถ๐ธ๐.
"
Chapter 37: nessie
Chapter Text
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
ย
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was trembling from excitement, tapping her foot and fidgeting all over her seat the whole travel back to London.
Regulus was squinting his eyes, suspicious of Vi. She couldn't be that happy to go to his home! Hours later, he understood it once they stood in a big living room, definitely not Regulus' home. Too much light. It was spacious, with big windows and bright wooden furniture sculptured by fairies. Despite being late, all the candles floating around the house made it so bright. Vivien could swear that at first she could hear Regulus hiss at the brightness like a vampire.
Ambrosie, Teddy, and Rosaire gazed around until all of their eyes focused on Vivienโwho was sitting on her trunk, swinging her feet like she was doing a minute before on a platform.
"You didn't." Ambrosie grinned widely, shaking his head in disbelief.
"I did." She nodded cheerfully before Bambi and his brothers threw themselves onto her like children, nearly pushing her down the trunk. Regulus observed the scene a little bewildered but someone ran into him, throwing himself on him too.
The siblings let go of each other, hearing Regulus' yelp.
"Rebulus!" Eden exclaimed, hugging Black around his hips.
He grinned, brushing the little boy's hair.
"Hello." Regulus said.
Eden pulled away, stretching out his arms for him as a sign. He crouched down and picked him up, Eden tangling around him tightly.
"Oh, someone gained strength." Regulus chuckled, turning towards the siblings with Eden knotted around his neck.
"And grew!" Eden agreed.
"HI!" Vivien grinned the widest, jumping up to her feet.
"Vivi!" She came closer to Regulus and Eden.
Eden was still so small but at the same time so big in contrast to the baby he was four months before. Regulus felt how Vivien rested her hands on his waist, standing behind him on her toes, facing Eden. The little boy lowered himself onto Regulus' shoulder for Vivi to reach him with her lips. She kissed Eden on one cheek, and then the other, when he turned them for her.
Regulus smiled, all the warmth embracing him. In his mind, he almost wandered off imagining silly thingsโuntil thankfully Teddy stopped him.
"Black, share with us our brother before he melts into you."
"Hi!, Hi!, Hi!" Eden waved his hand, excitedly trembling just like his big sister had been before.
Regulus let go of the little boy, who ran to his brothers. They embraced him joyfully.
"How tall you grew! Soon you will catch up with me."
In the meantime, Vivien stayed where she stood. Her hands moved around Regulus' waist and she hugged him from behind.
"Hi," She murmured, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"Hi," He gazed at her out of the corners of his eyes.
"This is my family's holiday residence. We used to spend summers here. Most of them, you know." She elaborated quietly. "We're back in Scotland. Highlands too, to be honest."
Regulus was smiling too, taking hold of Vivien's hands, moving them to his chest. One of them he placed against his heart. Vi didn't know if it was his intention, but she swallowed, feeling how fast his heart beat in his chest against her hand, her embracing him so closely. They both glanced around the bright room, which appeared to be even brighter because of the snow outside the windows.
"Do my parents know?" He asked silently.
"Of course. I wrote to them asking for their permission. After a few days, they agreed. You don't mind, do you?" She answered.
"No, no."
Vivien gave him a kiss on his neck.
Hesitantly, she unwrapped herself away. She straightened, seeing that her brothers had begun observing her and Regulus. She furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?"
"Nothing." Rosaire chuckled.
Vivien rolled her eyes, taking a few steps ahead.
"Alright-"
"Mistress Vivien." They all heard a feminine, squeaky voice. Their heads snapped in the direction of the tall doorframe. There stood an elf that seemed even smaller, surrounded by the tall walls of the house.
Regulus smiled at the elf. It had to be Dove that Vivien told him about.
Dove was wearing a small, polka-dot shirtdress in a pale yellow colour. Vivien immediately softened and rushed towards her, falling to her knees in front of her. The elf smiled sadly, matching Vivien's. The two hugged each other.
Regulus glanced at the teenage Beauchรชne boys, who got quieter too. And he realised that Vivien and her brothers hadn't seen Dove and Raven since the attack, not even once. His stomach dropped.
Vivien felt her eyes overflow with tears, her whole chest aching.
"It's so good to finally see you." She mumbled out.
"You too, Mistress Vivien." She felt the elf massage her back.
"Yeh lads didn't forget old Raven, did yeh?" Another elf appeared. And that had to be Raven. He appeared in front of Ambrosie, Teddy, Rosaire, and Eden. The teenage brothers rushed to hug the old elf that was wearing a white button-up with some black trousers and suspenders.
Regulus stood there watching the bittersweet scene that Beauchรชnes shared with the two elves, and his stomach tightened and his throat closed.
Vivien collected herself from the floor, wiping her face even before she let tears escape. She and Dove moved towards her brothers and Raven. She kept smiling sadly, when Raven faced her.
"Come here, little bird."
She crouched down to hug him tightly. In the meantime, her older brothers got all the cuddles and kisses from Dove. After a moment, Raven's arms loosened on Vivien, and they peeled away from each other. He looked behind Vivien. She looked at Regulus over her shoulder. He stood there quietly, smiling tightly, quite anxious.
"And who's the fella?" Raven folded his arms over his chest.
Vivien straightened, all the attention focused on her after the first hugs were shared. She bit her bottom lip, holding her hand out for Regulus. He accepted it shyly, taking a few steps forward to her. When she stood in front of everyone with him, she smiled.
"And this is Regulus," The couple glanced at each other. "My fiancรฉ."
She announced it to the two elves.
Regulus felt nervous, hearing Vi introduce him as her fiancรฉ for the first time in their lives.
"The Regulus? As in Black?" Raven specified and his heart sank.
Regulus could only assume that the Black family didn't have the best reputation among elves.
But Vi blushed and her brothers snickered.
"Yes." She admitted shyly.
Regulus knitted his brows together. He looked at everyone, confused. It wasn't about the Black family's reputation?
"Nice to finally meet yeh, Master Regulus." Raven reached for Regulus' hand with no warning and shook it. Soon Regulus shook his in exchange, still startled.
"Lovely to meet you, Master Regulus." Dove gently offered him her hand, and he accepted it carefully.
"Glad to meet both of you too. I heard a lot about both of you." He said politely, masking his startlement.
"So we have about you." Dove responded.
Vivien's lips rolled into her mouth, her ears reddening at the rising temperature of Doveโs words. Bambi cracked the loudest out of her teenage brothers. Eden quirked his eyebrows, lost. The elves kept smiling.
They turned towards Vivien.
"Everything's prepared, like Manon asked." Dove informed before she disappeared.
"Yuh. Rooms are shinin' like diamonds, the air is smellin' like violets, and the fridge is full of food." Raven murmured before vanishing into a thin air like Dove.
Vivien nodded her head awkwardly, even though the elves weren't there to see it anymore.
Regulus squinted his eyes, looking between the siblings. "Can I ask?"
"No!" She answered shortly.
"You will find out in your own time." Rosie came closer to him, patting him on the back.
"Which is like the moment you, sweethearts, enter your two's bedroom." Ambrosie added, emphasising his words suggestively.
Vivien stormed them with glares from her wide open eyes. "The rule-"
"Is still ruling." Teddy smirked devilishly and she looked at him, shaking her head.
"No!" She protested.
"Oh, yes." He nodded, all of her brothers were rubbing their hands together maliciously.
Regulus listened to the mysterious way the siblings spoke. Expect Eden. He was still lost with his little frown. Vivien shot her draggers at her brothers with her murderous stare, but they stood their ground.
"What rule?" Regulus cut in.
"Oh, let me tell you, mate. Since Vi was the first here, she took over the other biggest bedroom-"
"I didn't. Our parents gave it to me because I was the firstborn daughter and was planned to be the last child." She murmured to Regulus.
"-she and her little guests, instead of spreading all over the residence like a plague, share it."
Regulus blinked emptily, turning to Vivien.
She was grinning, cringefully at him.
"Oh, please. It's not like you would share a bed for the first time."
"But we don't share it anymore!" Vivien scolded Teddy, crossing her arms over her chest.
But before anyone else would interrupt-
"That's fine with me." Regulus spoke his mind.
All Beauchรชnes looked at him. Vivien's brothers smirked. Of course it was. He put his hands up in the air as a sign of innocence.
"If that's the rule."
No, Black didn't mind sharing a bed with Vi at all. It was all insane, he knew. Regulus was confusing Vivien as much as he was confusing himself. But it was hard to resist that opportunity. It was all so risky and it enlivened something in him. Hormones.
It was so against his own rules and it could end in so many different waysโin some extremely against the rules, and the thought of it was intoxicating. Addicting. Vivien was addictive.
The rational half of Regulus knew he was his biggest menace, but the irrational half of him liked the smell of smoke as he played with that fair. It was refreshing.
Vivien felt her chest tighten, and her lips parted. But nothing came out of her mouth. She just looked between her brothers and caught Regulus' hand in hers, snatching him.
"Come." Oh, Regulus would love to.
Her brothers made kissing faces, thinking the young couple didn't see it, for Vivien to stare judgmental at them for their childish behaviour before she left them.
Vivien dragged Regulus after her, running up the stairs in front of him in her small skirt. He heated up. Oh, it was so risky in that beautiful moment. He observed her curves so closely to his face, especially with how impractical her skirt was, ready to go slightly too high at any moment.
Vivien walked Regulus silently upstairs and the rest of the house looked the same fairy-made as the living room. It definitely looked like something Vivien would like. It was all cosy, bright, and pleasant. Regulus was gazing around everywhere until he bumped into something.
Vivien's eyes almost bobbed out of her orbits, feeling Regulus' crotch hit her arse. She had stopped in front of the door, but he had been glancing around himself like a child, fascinated with everything he saw, and he walked into herโstopped into her.
Regulus smirked and nonchalantly took a step back.
"My mistake. Forgive me, my Highness."
Out of nowhere, he was in a playful mood. Vivien's brothers had to stir something in him. Horniness. After all, he was a teenage boy.
Vivien collected herself effectively and opened the door to her room. Dramatically, she entered, letting go of Regulus. She did a graceful swirl, turning around to Regulus in the end.
"My castle." She opened her arms, showing off her room.
Regulus followed after her. Her room was cute. There was white molding down the walls with trim by the ceiling. The walls themselves were light purple. But the door-wall was a paintingโa big landscape of the forest. On the opposite wall were big windows. Vivien had white wooden furniture set, and a big bed that
she would share with Regulus! It looked comfortable. But his eyes caught a glimpse of something special. He furrowed his eyebrows, noticing that in the centre of pillows sat a teddy bear. It was a brown colour.
Regulus moved towards the bed, and Vi observed him, a tingling sensation in her chest. She felt a spasm go through her body, watching Regulus reach for the teddy bear.
"To be honest, I didn't believe Panda when she promised you have kept it."
Vivien smiled, wandering to him and the teddy bear he had gifted her.
"I wouldn't dare to not keep it." She took the bear into her hands and played with its paws. "It was the first time I got an actual present on Valentine's Day from an actual admirer."
Regulus had sent the teddy bear to Vi in their second year during Valentine's Day, embarrassing her. It was the day she found he had fancied her for over five months of his weird behaviour during Potions that she misread as him mocking her. She was embarrassed, finally understanding why everyone was teasing her. There was a boy who specifically liked her.
Regulus remembered to that day how she had sent him a stare back from across the Great Hall after she had received a gift from him. She had shoved that teddy bear into her bag so deeply that it probably saw pits of hell.
But Pandora promised Regulus that she saw that teddy bear very much alive and healthy, rolling her eyes. Still, he doubted it was. Yet, Vi kept it all these years. They glanced at each other. Vi turned the teddy to Regulus and waved its paw. They smiled cutely at each other. Regulus' chest tightened at Vi acting so adorable.
"I don't like wasting things." She closed the teddy bear in her embrace.
"Does it mean you kept every gift I gave you?"
She nodded her head delicately. "Yes."
"Is that so?" He was sceptical.
"If I didn't, would I know that you charmed the hydrangeas to last forever?" Vivien answered by asking another question. "They are left at what used to be a home." Although it was not the exact thing he did with her hydrangeas, he knew she was telling the truth.
Vivien smiled softly, lowering her face, looking at the plushy toy.
"The gifts are how Poe, Dove, and Raven 'met' you. And that teddy's name-"
"Oh, it has a name?" Regulus tilted his head, piping in.
"It does." Regulus raised his eyebrows, waiting for Vivien to tell him.
"Stupidulus White." She muttered under her nose and he snorted.
"Could you speak up? I didn't hear you."
"Stupidulus."
"I think I almost heard you."
Regulus never figured out how many names could be created out of his own. Vi was creative. His little artist.
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ย ย ย ย ย Dove and Raven called all the children downstairs for dinner.
It was quite an extraordinary event for Regulus. The meal was served in that kitchen. When he thought it couldn't get more astonishing, Raven and Dove joined them to eat too. And none seemed to notice it or think anything out of it.
Maybe it was because all the pixies that Vivien's brothers were energised about something, or maybe it was because it was simply a normal thing for Beauchรชnes to do.
Bambi, Rosie, Teddy, and Eden all acted like they were five, fidgeting like their big sister had been in the Hogwarts Express.
Regulus was putting his plate in the sink like others did, and Raven approached him to wash all the dirty dishes
"How's the food, Master Regulus?"
"Delicious." He smiled.
"Hear' him, little birdie? Delicious, he said."
"Wonderful. Vivien wrote to us that you like these." Dove smiled, finishing her own meat pie.
"I do. They were tasteful."
"Oh, you sweet boy, don't compliment me too much or I will blush." There were still no signs of judgement.
Regulus wondered if prejudice was even a thing outside of the little aristocratic bubble that all the pure-bloods blew up to convince themselves there was anything special about them.
"Rebulus, hurry up!" Eden came into the kitchen, putting on his hat, already wearing a coat and one of his snow boots.
Vivien followed him, making sure he didn't run barefoot out of the house in the snow. She glanced into the kitchen, where Regulus still stood with a little frown.
"What is going on?"
Vivien smiled. She knew it would be better to wait until the next day, when it would be bright, but she couldn't say no to her brothers.
"You will see. Now put on something warm. We are going outside." She informed, grinning enthusiastically, hoping Regulus will love it too.
A few minutes later, they all stood beside the garden room in the backyard. It was quite a spectacular view. Beauchรชne holiday residence stood in the middle of forests, where trees stood tall all around whenRegulus did one eighty. It was so peaceful. There were no noises of everyday life like at Regulus' home in London. Just silence. And it was so dark. Only light was from the lanterns floating in the garden. The backyard was fenced and overgrown with greenery that was drowning in the snow that Bambi and Rosie were kicking at each other with their feet, sometimes accidentally bathing someone else in it.ย
Vivien inhaled deeply before glancing around at all the boys. Regulus glanced at her.
She smiled before pursuing her lips together and whistling the loudest she could. Some tunes sounded nicer to the ear than the others, but they were melodic for the most times.
Regulus felt the ground under his feet shake, and it stopped Rosie and Bambi from clowning. Teddy stood with his arms crossed and Eden hopped happily. The fence began sinking into the ground with all the ivy. The sleeping flowers stayed sleeping, unbothered by a roar echoing from between all the trees that trembled like grass in the wind. Regulus noticed how the sleeping flowers were killed for good as something walked over them but never showed.
Teddy approached two thestrals. They were followed by a little herd of rolling puffskeins, and something Regulus didn't really recognize. It was fluffy. And it approached Eden, who seemed delighted, scratching the creature behind what seemed to be its ear as it licked the little boy and sniffed all over him, pushing its nose everywhere. From the forest, an unicorn carped, slowly followed by two hippogriffs walking gracefully and proudly that got Bambi and Rosie running, slowing only a dozen feet away to bend down in their favour. When Vivien finished the melody, she grinned, biting on her bottom lip, looking at Regulus, whose grey irises flickered until they flickered at her.
"Do they all belong to your family?"
"All and more, yes."
"But who-"
"My grandpa. He used to be a magizoologist, aspiring for a career as successful as Mister Scamander. Unfortunately, he fell in love with grandma. And I think this place could be a deal-setter with all the potential he saw in it, later creating this place." She told and the mysterious fluff with four legs came closer to her, standing on its back paws. She caught its front paws, bending down a little to its moving nose. She wanted to kiss it on its nose, but it stuck out its tongue, and Vivien pulled away.
"No licking." She said, trying to kiss it on the sides of its head or forehead [Regulus wouldn't know], but its tongue followed her around. "No licking, Rusty."
It was fluffy like puffskeins that surrounded Eden, jumping up for some good petting, but it was less round and seemed like a kneazle, if kneazles had longer jaws and were the size of a small human. It pulled away from Vivien, landing on his front paws on the snow, bored with how she suppressed his urge to drool on everything. Waving its tail, it slowly took a few steps towards Regulus. Weirded out, Regulus took the same number of steps back.
Vivien snorted as did Teddy, who was looking over his shoulder at Black, petting the unicorn. Regulus' spirit animal had to be a cat. He was one of those wizards. He has never met a dog in his life!
Regulus tilted his head at the being, and as if to taunt him, it did the same with its flapping ears.
"What is that?" He pointed his finger at the being, which got all excited to be in the spotlight of his attention. It jumped on him, pushing him. He didn't catch it by its front paws like Vivien had.
It landed on the ground, disappointed, wandering back to her. She crouched down, petting Rusty's back.
"That is a Scottish Shepherd." She explained it softly.
"A what?"
"A dog."
Regulus' eyes widened.
"And you touch it?!" He had seen a dog once before. It was from afar. On the Knockturn Alley. It was homeless and Regulus' mother told him that dogs were for poor wizards after he had asked her about it. Clearly, one of many lies he was told as a child to believe in as an adult.
"Sad to be the one bringing the news, but your puppy eyes were not Vivi's first ones in her life." Bambi joked, making Vivien huff.
He was petting the hippogriff and one pegasus came to him from another side, poking him with its nose for some attention too. But Rosie reached for the pegasusโ nose to stroke it.
"It's not like his licking is contagious." Vivien murmured.
Regulus smirked confidentlyโand thoughtlessly.
"Hilarious that it is coming from you because you liked when I licked you, Vi." It slipped down his own tongue too smoothly before he could think it through.
All of the siblings looked at Black from whatever they were petting. He put his hands in the pockets of his robe, looking around for the person who said such a vulgar thing!
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ย ย ย In the late evening, when Regulus and Vivien returned to their bedroom to unpack their things, Vi wasnโt.
"This is your side." She pointed at the left side of the dresserโnow, Regulus' sideโunused and emptied until now.
"So what else lives in those forests?" Regulus asked, re-folding his clothes and sorting them into different piles.
Vi laid on her belly on top of the mattress, kicking her feet in the air.
"A lot of things. Grandpa travelled a lot before he settled down for grandma, and he had domesticated anything that would survive under the weather out here in Great Britain."
"The roar?" He raised his eyebrow at her.
"Graphorn. He's a bit shy about strangers."
"It's not like I am the one that can tear it into shreds." He chuckled. "How does it work that the creatures don't collide with the muggle world? There's a village of muggles close to us, isn't it? Dove and Raven were talking about it during dinner."
"It is. Back in time, grandpa had to register his little beast-forest at the Ministry since there were some creatures he kept that are classified as highly dangerous. Some pen-pushers had to come over here and examine if the barriers worked properly. They did. Grandpa created invisible walls around the forestโcreatures can't escape them, and most of them don't try either. And muggles? These invisible walls are nonexistent to them, blocking them out of it. You can access it only by whistling the correct melody. Muggles can go into our forest, and they won't meet Bark."
"Bark?"
"The graphorn."
Regulus snorted. "Did it sound like a bark to you?"
"It did when I was four." Vivien giggled.
"Alright. What about the creatures that tried to escape?"
Vivien cringed. Minutes later, Regulus rubbed his face in disbelief.
"You're making it up."
"I'm not!" She protested, sitting up on her mattress after Regulus couldn't believe her.
"Muggles thought that your family's little kelpie in the lake was some monster?"
"It wasn't so little and they still do. They call it Nessie. I don't blame them but I blame grandpa. I don't know why he thought for a single second that a kelpie would make an amend with land, especially with such a beautiful lake around."
"How come the Ministry didn't come down here-"
Vivien dismissed Regulus' concern with a wave of hand.
"Kelpie was old and sickโthat's why grandpa dragged it here. It was too weak to eat anyone, and it also had bad teeth and wouldn't be able to anyway. It ate mostly algae and died a few months later. There was nothing for the Ministry to do out here because some married old couple of muggles were convinced it was some mythical monster and started a village legend about it. It was perfect. The Ministry didn't have to do the work, when muggles had. Though, four decades later muggles are still scared of the lake, and it's more of a country legend by now. For what it's worth, muggles ages ago believed something lived in the lake too. Probably some small-sized selma since it was even colder back then over here. And the Ministry wouldn't find this house anyway, if they were not invited." Vivien said confidently.
Regulus tilted his head from the wooden floor, where he sat. "How so?"
"It is charmed for everyone. If Beauchรชne doesn't want someone to come here, they won't come here. The house won't be found until it wants to be found." She shrugged, finally rolling off of bed.
Regulus straightened too, going to the dresser, opening one of the drawers to put away his jumpers.
Vivien, on the other hand, grabbed his toiletry bag, directing her steps towards the master bathroom where she went to unpack it and sort it out too.
Regulus came back to his trunk, where all around were piles and he picked up his trousers to put in another drawer.
He repeated until the last drawer, his eyebrows knitting.
There was a pile of Vivien's clothes in the drawer. He sat down with his legs crossed and laid down his pyjamas and boxers. He looked towards the bathroom. He heard Vivien organising things. To let her bed, he decided to move the clothes on his own. It was a lively pink polo neck, a black small skirt, and stockings in a vibrant pink colour too. Nothing unusual. But once he picked up the clothes, at the bottom of the drawer there was a folded pair of panties, hiding.
It was similar to all the panties Vi wore. They were white with little pink lilies sewn on. Regulus placedย the pile to the side and picked it up to move it with the rest. But when it unfolded, he froze, feeling cold pour down his veins. The bottom of the panties was bathed in blood. Regulus looked towards the bathroom, hearing steps. He folded the undergarments, hiding them in the drawer. But when he reached for the pile of clothes, it was too late.
"What are you doing?" Vivien tilted her head, noticing Regulus was putting her things into his drawer. She made her way towards him, shaking off her hands from water after she had washed them.
"Nothing." He murmured.
She came closer to him as he was closing the drawer hurriedly like he truly didnโt want her to see what he was doing despite his pyjamas and boxers still lying on the floor beside him. She lowered her brows.
"It's nothing." He assured her.
She crouched down to his side to open the drawer.
"Nonsense." She murmured, estranged with how creepy that was.
He acted weirdly.
Vivien opened the thing and her stomach did a flip, her throat tighteningโall at the sight of those clothes.
"Oh." Left her mouth.
Regulus could tell she wasn't capable of forming more of her words.
"Sorry." She barely mumbled out.
"No, it's fine. It can stay here." He claimed but it was too late.
She was pushing her clothes to her chest anyway, standing up.
"No, no. It's your drawer."
She rushed to the bathroom again but she took such a poor hold of her underwear, it flew to the ground after she turned around.
Regulus got up.
"Vi, the undergarment." He came to it, when she was marching away.
She turned back, hearing him. She tasted bile in her mouth. A boy was about to touch her panties. She didn't know when her vision blurred, but she felt weakโlightheadedโher body hollow, her heart thudding.
"Don't touch it!" She cried out at Regulus nearly picking up her blood-soaked panties.
Frantic, she walked towards them. He straightened, realising his mistake.
"It's not yours to touch!" She yelled at Black, and he took a step back, his heart cracking.
He realised it was one of the moments his poor, sweet Vi didn't see Regulusโwho happened to be a boy standing in front of her. She saw a boyโwho happened to be Regulus.
She picked up the panties, pushing them to her chest as she ran into the bathroom, sobbing. The door closed with a thud similar to her heart's rhythm.
Regulus' heart shattered into pieces with that thud. He slowly went towards the door. He heard her sobbing loudly. He rested his forehead against it.
"I'm sorry that I touched your private things, Vivien. It wasn't my place and I should've asked you to do it. I'm sorry."
They both knew it wasn't about Regulus touching her clothes but about a boy touching something that wasn't his to touch. And they both know Regulus wasn't that boy. But an irrational and horrified part of Vivien panicked because a boy was a boy.
Vivien stood over the cabinet sobbing, hugging the panties to her cheek. They were forever destroyed because of some boy, just like she was.
"Vivien, I'm truly sorry for what I did."
She softened. She knew it wasn't Regulus, who she wanted to show a bit of regret for what he had done.
Still Regulus did. Hostile, she put the panties down on top of the pile of her clothes.
Regulus heard Vivien sniff when she came closer to the door. With one touch of the handle, she opened them a little, peeping at him through the gap. He softened as she looked at him through her stiff and thick lashes.
"I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you." He apologised to her face.
Vivien swallowed, opening the door wider. Regulus wasn't sure what Vi needed until she hugged him, curling against his chest. He hugged her back delicately.
"I know you would never mean to hurt me, Regulus." She mumbled, his arms wrapping around her figure.
She rested her chin on his shoulder.
"Never in any universe." He whispered. She squeezed him tighter.
"It's justโthese are the clothes, Regulus. The ones I was wearing the day I lost my virginity. These are the panties I dressed in when I bled. I was too ashamed to put it all with Pandora's, Sybill's, and Emmeline's clothes in the laundry basket for elves to wash away the disgusting creation it was. I washed it myself. I really tried to wash the panties, but only he had washed away. Bood didn't. I forgot I put it in that drawer last Christmas."
Regulus rubbed Vivien's back, soothing her. She broke apart, looking in his eyes.
"The flowers on my undergarment-" She sniffed. "-is why he calls me little flower. That's why I never asked Poe to sew me different panties because I knew boys liked the ones I already wore, even when they repulsed me. And you liked them too."
Regulusโ stomach did a flip at Vivien's confession. She felt his hands unlock from her smaller fragile figure and cradle her jaw.
"Not anymore and never like that, Vi. My pleasure was always your pleasure, never your pain."
Vivien's eyes twitched. She melted in Regulus' hands.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus sent Vivien to the bathroom for a good bath. She wanted Regulus to go first because she needed to check on her brothers but he convinced her that he could do it. He went to the boys and helped Eden wash, brush his teeth, and put on some fresh pyjamas instead of going to bed stinking like a little pig.
When Regulus returned to his and Vi's master bedroom, everything was back to hormones. His eyes meticulously studied Vi's figure. She stood in front of the drawer, looking for a pair of comfortable socks. She stood there just in her pyjamasโin her lilac chemise that he had taken off of her before.
Vivien felt Regulus' gazes draw every curve of her body. She stood there just like that. She lowered her face into a drawer for her wet hair to fall, hiding her face. She chewed on her grin.
In Hogwarts' shared dormitories, it felt inappropriate to make use of that lingerie pyjama but in her private bedroom, it wasn't an issue. She wasn't trying to provoke Regulus, but it was a nice feeling to tease him back after he teased her in the afternoon. Revenge tasted the best cold after all and Vi waited patiently to serve it to him.
But the truth is that she simply needed to feel pretty that evening. She wanted to feel prettyโnormal.
It was effortless in that heavenly nightgown with lacy trims at the dรฉcolletรฉ and bottom of it.
She found a pair of nice socks and glanced up at Regulus, who stood still by the closed door.
"What?" She smiled innocently, going to the mattress, where she sat down to put on her socks.
Oh, it was all risky!, as she sat down and one of the straps slipped down her shoulder to almost uncover some more of her to Regulus. He wouldn't say that out loud, but somewhere down his body, he felt tingling.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus left the bathroom, and Vi laid flat on her tummy with her hand under her chin, and in front of her face was a book that rested against the pillows. She was reading, turning pages every two minutes. And her bump so prominently distinguished itself under the pathetic material of her nightgown. Regulus came to bed, lying down on what seemed to be his half of the mattress with his head in the pillows, glancing at Vivien's focused face, her eyes on moving along the lines of "Frankenstein".
Regulus just contemplated the view but the more his eyes were longing for her the more tension Vi felt, aware of him and his urges that she had too. She swallowed, Regulus' fingers stroking her cheek to brush the strands of her hair behind her ear.
Their eyes met. Vi's chest tightened. Regulus treated her so gently.
His chest tightened at a frisky flicker of Vi's eyes on him.
They wanted each other so desperately, despite all the odds.
Regulus could swear for a momentโit felt as if Vi desired him as strongly as he did and her eyes sparked so hopefully. Stop!, he had to yell at himself for his childish behaviour. He had to stop imagining things that were not there to fill in the blanks. He cleared his throat.
"When was the last time you saw Dova and Raven?" He needed to come down to earth and there was nothing better to do than remind himself of his guilt.
"Oh," Vivien looked down on her book, quite lost on why Regulus ruined their moment. "Christmas last year, why?" She murmured.
"You didn't see them after the-"
"No." She answered laconically, closing the book, their moment destroyed for good.
"They escaped to the Ministry thanks to Poe. It was always a family plan that in case something bad happens and we split up, we always make sure someone's looking after my brothers and we all met here. Dove and Raven have been here since the night of the attack. You knowโI didn't organise a big funeral, only a small ceremony for me, my brothers, and mama. I sent them an owl with information about it but also an owl with a letter that I decided they were strictly not allowed to visit. I thought I was keeping them safe."
She shrugged with a heavy sigh.
"There's not really any hospital for elves, so they didn't go to one and I didn't visit them in one. They hid in here at safety and healed here until there was nothing to heal, except for the bad memories. And here they had at least a sense of purpose. You know, at homeโexcept for familyโwe had a small farm with small pets, and most of them were killed, and the rest that survived the butchery were sent to some safe haven in Ireland. And here they had at least the house and that forest of creatures to take care of."
Something in Vivien was quite disappointing. Is that what he wants to do? Talk about that topic from all the topics?
She didn't. There was nothing to talk about. She already talked it through with Gideon Prewett, and until he and other aurors didn't catch the Death Eaters responsible for the massacre in her homeโif they ever didโshe had nothing else to say.
She wasn't angry anymore. She wasn't mourning anymore. She didn't feel anything anymore, while she thought about what had happened. It stirs nothing in me., she realised.
Regulus saw how Vi lacked an emotion, putting her book away to the side on the nightstand.
"How did your family find this place?" Regulus kept observing her.
She laid down in a similar position to his, turning on her cheek too. She laid her hands on her tummy, tapping on it.
"Fayette Beauchรชne did. She was quite an explorerโmaybe because of the misfortune in her life that caused her to find out about her true magical powers very lately. You know Fayette was an orphan. Mother died during birth, and father was some unnamed muggle. So she was just another newborn left at the hospital alone until the nurses decided to move her to an orphanage. She was never adopted, and she was forgotten until her powers began creating a mess. Some Hogwarts' professor found her in the middle of nowhere in some small smelly village, took care of her, and taught her everything until she started Hogwarts at the age of fifteen. I believe she lived here during her last years with her husband, Sebastian. And then their daughter, Johanne Maelle Beauchรชne, inherited it. Meaelle had a deep interest in birds growing here. She was actually the one to name Raven, Dove, and later Poe. That's my sweet and loving grandma Elle. She moved back to France to embrace our forgotten for a few decades roots. There she met grandpa Silo on his magizoologist's journey. He was full of surprises. So quiet but spontaneous and full of adventures. I guess she adored his passion. Then they had my mama, and grandma Elle's little perfect world went into shite."
Vivien told Regulus the story of her family like a good-night tale, and he listened carefully.
Soon they snuff out the candles and went to sleep on their sides of the bed in silence.
Although they turned away with their backs facing each other, Vivien felt that enchantment pulling her towards Regulus. Everything in Regulus shouted to turn away, to move closer to Vi, to embrace her and kiss her bare skin, to connect with her in every possible way.
He didn't. He just stayed in his place, not crossing the line of his half of the mattress like the good boy he was.
And something in Vi regretted that he did.
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ย ย ย ย ย Friday passed peacefully. In the morning Vivien sent a letter. After breakfast with Rosaire, Eden, and Dove, she baked gingerbread cookiesโa lot of them. Six trays.
In the meantime, Bambi, Teddy, Regulus, and Raven played with animals outside like children. Raven introduced Regulus to a few encouraged animals that came to meet an intruder. Vivien felt warmed, glancing sometimes outside the window to see Regulus so happy, petting and playing with different creatures, in companion of her brothers and dear Raven.
Ambrosie once caught her lurking out of the window and winked. She immediately backed away from the window. Dove and Rosie shared a glance at how she was blushing. She only confirmed who she was checking out as she bit her bottom lip, turning away from it.
When the last tray was still in the stove, broom was brushing the floor and Dove was wiping the cabinets after a small flavour-fight three siblings had. She had already dusted them all off.
The spotless trio sat at the table innocently. They heard the back door open and three pairs of steps approaching the kitchen. Regulus, Bambi, and Teddy appeared in the room, all frozen-bit and wet from low temperature after their own snow-fight. Nonetheless they were grinning.
"Oh, please, boots off!" Dove waved with her cloth, chasing three teenagers away back to the door to take off their boots that dampened the wooden floor that Raven had been polishing the previous day.
Then they came back undressed from all the layers of outwear.
"Cocoa, children?" Dove offered, now smiling.
They all nodded.
Eden eagerly said, "Yes,yes,yes,yes."
He sat down in Regulus' laps beside Vivien. Black embraced the little boy and something about the view of him in his loose jumper with messy curls and pinkish cheeks made Vi's heart flutter at which Teddy giggled the loudest.
"I can take Eden on my lap if you want Regulus to hold you on his, Vivi."
She scoffed, dropping in her chair, her arms crossed on her chest.
"Or he can hold Vivi, and she can hold me." Eden corrected before his big sister responded in some bad way that would get her reprimanded.
"My legs wouldn't hold both of you, I'm afraid." Regulus smiled.
Vivien and Eden looked at him fussily. His eyes moved between two little faces.
"Did you shame us for our weight?" Eden crossed his arms like Vivien did, staring at the older boy over his shoulder.
"I didn't. I just suggested I don't have enough strength to hold the weight of you two together."
Vivien and Eden scoffed at the same time, looking away from him. Regulus chuckled and the rest of the siblings cracked into fits of laughter.
Moments later everyone all sat on the sofas in the garden room with cups of cocoa in their hands, Raven joining them after feeding the creatures.
The piano in the corner of the room was playing. Regulus, Eden, and Vivien sat on the armchairs across from each other, the rest fitting onto the long sofa. Vivien was savouring her hot chocolate, swinging her foot to the rhythm.
Regulus observed it, when she had her other leg tucked under her bump.
He was resting with Eden, getting comfortable from the warming charm. He tilted his head, and Vivien's teenage brothers with the two elves could already tell what he was about to ask. A predictable prick Black was.
"Do you want to dance, Vi?"
Vivien's foot stopped.
"What?"
"Do you want to dance?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
"With?" She asked shyly, beginning to flush.
Her brothers snorted silently and Raven chuckled. Dove stormed them all with her glare.
"Me of course."
Vi felt bad declining the offer because she didn't want Regulus to feel stupid but she wasn't a graceful dancer. She was capable of chaotic or maybe even alluring movements but not stable, graceful ones.
"I don't really dance."
"I've seen you at parties dancing." He squinted his eyes playfully.
"I don't dance like this."
"How come?"
"Vi is all left feet. Clumsy a bit." Eden murmured, explaining for his buddy.
"I'm a good teacher." Regulus resonated, half-smiling, a glint in his grey eyes.
"What if I'm a bad student?" Vivien wasn't so sure it was such a good idea.
"In that case, I don't mind getting stomped a little." Regulus said, standing up as he put Eden down.
He placed the cup away and approached Vi. She looked at him and the hand he stretched out for her to take.
"Regulus, you really don't have to-"
"But I want to."
Vivien swallowed, and her eyes moved to the side where her family sat.
"Oh, don't mind us, you two." Rosie wiggled his brows.
"We won't look if Mistress doesn't wish." Dove promised.
Regulus took the cup out of her hand, putting it down on the coffee table too. And again, he stretched his hand, smiling softly.
This time, Vi took his hand and he led her to the centre of the room. Her brothers' heads snapped after them after them behind the sofa.
Regulus could tell Vi was nervous. Her brothers were obnoxious out of curiosity. He put himself in a position to face the little pixies. He delicately instructed her hands on his shoulders and she felt his warm touch on her waist. She gazed up at him. He kept smiling, encouraging her.
"Just focus on me, Vi." He whispered and another song began.
Vi was stressed. Regulus was leading their bodies to sway softly to the slow melody of the piano. And he could tell poor she was stressed so much over nothing. They were moving around in a circle and Vi was trying to focus on him, but she was so anxious about stepping on his foot when she couldn't look down that she finally did. She stepped on his toes and Regulus could tell she tensed.
"Sorry." She blurred out, ready to pull away with her face lowered in embarrassment for simple human error.
He pulled her closer to keep her.
"It's fine, Vi. I can promise you that when you calm down, it will become easier." He murmured back.
Vivien could feel how Regulus stroked her side with his finger through the material of her long sleeve, hypnotising her with his whispers.
She nodded her head, taking a deep breath. She took a step closer to him and knotted her hands around his neck, leaving little to no space between their bodies. Regulus' hands moved onto her lower back, their faces inches apart.
Vi grinned innocently, so did Regulus.
Bambi and Rosie smirked, watching Vivien getting comfortable in Regulus' arms.
Unconfirmed, but some witnesses claimed the corners of Teddy's lips twitched too. Eden grinned, swinging his own feet to the slow rhythm of the piano melody.
Vivien felt Regulus' hands trace her body until they took hold of her hands to instruct her to swirl slowly. She did. To his surprise, she landed against his chest, cuddling to him.
It was silly, but none before treated Vivien with such thoughtfulness, and she was melting against Regulus. She wanted so badly to melt into his warmth and stay with him forever like that.
Regulus hugged her back.
"Thank you."
Chapter 38: red split with black
Chapter Text
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ๐๐ข๐ ๐ข๐ช๐๐ข๐ฏ 26๐ฑ๐ฅ, 1977โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat leg-crossed in Regulus' jumper pulled over her chemise, wearing terry socks to keep her feet warm.
She sat with her brothers and Regulus on the living room floor in a circle, slowly savouring her sweet tea. They sat on the carpet beside the Christmas tree. Outside the windows white snow illuminated shining like a diamond in the sun.
Vivien observed her brothers dug out gifts from under the most clownish Christmas tree they could dress it as.
Regulus watched her and the joy her brothersโ happiness gave her.
It was Eden's turn. He was unpacking his gift from Regulus, tearing apart the decorative paper to see a wooden box in checker pattern. His eyes sparked like he was glancing at gold. He gazed up at Regulus, who was smiling.
"Open, buddy."
Eden did and squealed. Vivien put her cup to the side and on her knees she scrambled over to see inside of the box. The little figures were creatures. Eden picked up the black pair of gryphon and hippogriff to show off the king and queen.
"Look," He said, showing around his siblings, grinning widely. He was trembling from excitement, the box in his laps shaking and wooden figures making a scraping noise against it.
"Don't forget-" Vivien smiled widely.
Eden threw two pieces back into the box and put down it to the side hurriedly to throw himself into Regulus.
"Thank you!" He squeezed Regulusโ neck the tightest he could.
Regulus hugged him back, rocking him. "Of course, Eden."
All of Regulus' presents were so considerate, and Vivien patiently waited for her turn to open her gift from him.
Regulus was nervous. Making gifts for Beauchรชne was hard and he did his best. He felt relieved, realising the gifts they gave each other were more about symbolism than about the price since they could buy everything they wanted all year. Their gifts were rather a sign that they listened to each other, thought about each other, and remembered things about each other.
Teddy reached under the tree for one of the last of the two presents left and handed it to Vi.
"For you, my beautiful sister."
It was the last present addressed to herโsurely from Regulus. His present was packed into paper of lavender colour and smell. On top of it was a white bow made out of lace. Vi undo the bow and unwrapped her gift carefully, having not a single clue what possibly Regulus could get her as he already had given her such a spectacular promise ring that she wore all the time after he convinced her to keep it. She looked confused at Regulus. In her hands rested what seemed to be a notebook.
It was leather-bound, black, and fat. It had a bite mark on the edge. Vi examined the thing. It appeared to be kept neat but it was clearly used. Her brothers knitted their brows, looking between Regulus and the thing from the distance, Eden leaned over Vi's shoulder after getting out of Regulus' arms.
"What is that?" He asked, sceptical.
Regulus felt his stomach tighten in nerves at all the looks, thinking he simply should buy something new for Vi like he did for her brothers.
Regulus brought Eden back to him because Vi was about to open the notebook. She glanced at him, realising he didn't want her brother[s] to see whatever was inside. She bit her bottom lip and turned it to the first page cautiously
"
๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ท๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฝ, ๐ฃ๐ซ๐ฉ๐ฆ
๐ผ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐๐น ๐ฑ๐พ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐ฎ๐๐ท๐พ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐น๐ถ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ธ๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐. ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐น ๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐.
๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ฝ ๐ท๐ ๐๐๐๐น, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ธ๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐.
"
"
๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ท๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ฅ๐๐ฝ, ๐ฃ๐ซ๐ฉ๐ฆ
๐ฑ๐พ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ถ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ป๐๐. ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐, ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐น ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐๐. ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐พ๐โ๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฝ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐. ๐ผ ๐๐ฝ๐พ๐๐ ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐น ๐ท๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐ฝ๐พ๐๐, ๐ผโ๐น ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ท๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ ๐ท๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ถ๐๐น ๐๐ถ๐๐, ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ ๐ท๐.
๐ผ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐พ๐ ๐ถ ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐ผ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
"
Vivien smiled exactly like Regulus had described it in his journal, giggling exactly like he had described it in his journal. She gazed at him, figuring out it was Regulus' private notes. Journal full of notes about her.
Her eyes flickered on him in awe and amazement, making him feel special.
But he was the first to make her feel special.
After the time Vi spent with Regulus, she thought that he was meant to be a writer because of how smoothly he worked with his words, always charming her. She didnโt suspect he already wroteโabout her.
Rosie leaned in to see why his big sister beamed so brightly but she closed the journal in his face. He moved back into his seat, his brothers staring at him. He shrugged.
To Teddy and Bambi, it already occurred that it was Regulus' private notes addressed only to Vivien.
Vi wouldn't guess Regulus had already been writing. She flew through the pages quickly. Every single one of them was written on. Every single page had some poems, pearls of affection, or just some sweet words dedicated to Vi. Regulus wrote a whole book about her.
Regulus was aware of the embarrassing quality of his writing. They weren't all great or even good notes sometimes.
Nonetheless Vi's eyes drowned in a wave of tears.
Regulus didn't know if she liked the notes, stressed.
She looked up at him with her tearful eyes.
"How many pages is it?"
"Three hundred. But on most pages, it's more than one note." Over three hundred times and many more times when Regulus thought about Vi in the last three years.
Vivien was so pinkish on her face, trying her best not to sob. She closed her eyes, hugging the journal to her chest.
"Thank you." She mumbled.
Her brothers smiled warmly at Regulus, who caused their big sister such happiness that he brought her to good tears. Vi lowered the notebook to the floor.
The last gift under a tree was hers for Regulus. It was a small box that Teddy reached for before handing it to Black.
Regulus quirked an eyebrow at Vivien, opening it. He frowned, pulling out a bell from the small box, conflicted.
"Just shake it." Vivien hurried him.
Regulus looked at her before doing so. Vi put her finger to her lips as a sign for everyone to wait quietly. On the wooden floor, they heard small steps growing louder. Someone was running towards them through the floor.
Regulus' lips parted in surprise, when a kitten ran into the living room. Or it hopped. Hesitant, it slowed at the carpet, examining the group of teenagers. It slowly marched towards Regulus, analysing the bell he was holding that it was trained to react to.
Regulus stretched his hand out towards it slowly to not scare it. Still, the kitten took two scared steps back before sneaking towards his hand to sniff it. After a moment, it licked him. Then it looked around the room at all the smiling boys and Vi towards whom it walked. And Regulus saw why it was slightly jumping instead of walking properly as Vivien's brothers did too.
Vivien took a fluffy baby in her arms, when it came close to her.
"Vi?" Regulus tilted his head at her and the kitten that she held like a literal baby.
"Yes?" The two looked at him.
"Why doesn't it have one paw?"
Vivien scoffed, causing small coppery eyes to direct at her. She glanced at them.
"You just didn't ask that. At heart, she has all four paws." She said sugarly, leaning towards the kitten, brushing the tip of her nose against its little nose. "Donโt listen to him." She murmured.
"It was more of a concern than a judgement." Regulus commented.
Meanwhile, the kitten stretched out its little front paw like to hold Vivien down and licked her nose with its tongue before using baby teeth to try and chew on it until Vivien backed away. She looked at Black.
"It has all four legs."
"Yes, but one paw is gone." Vivien put a hand to the kitten's ear that it also tried to bite.
She let it, unbothered about it.
"Don't tell her that." She whispered, scandalised.
Her brothers chuckled. She rolled her eyes.
"Fine. Some muggle crushed it and Raven had to operate." She elaborated, telling the truth.
Regulus' stomach did a flip. "What do you mean?"
"That's one of the things you two have in common. Some people don't like you because you're Black."
Regulus' cloudy eyes softened on a little kitten in Vivien's arms. From chewing on her finger, it licked it again and again. His lips stretched something between a smile and a smirk.
"What are other things we have in common?"
Ambrosie cringed, already expecting something flirtatious. Teddy rolled his eyes and smirking Rosaire shook his head.
They all knew Regulus and their big sister had been in flirty moods since they got to the residence.
Eden was bored by then with the discussion between Regulus and Viviโhe started playing with his own gifts.
Vivien looked down at the kitten. "Obviously, you both think I'm a tasteful snack."
Regulus snorted, leaning towards the kitten, softly stroking its head with his slim long finger that it immediately tried to bite on.
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โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ๐๐ข๐ ๐ข๐ช๐๐ข๐ฏ 27๐ฑ๐ฅ, 1977โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus observed the little ball that his Persian kitten was when it slept at the foot of the master bed. He was doing buttons on his white shirt, Vi telling him all about the kitten. That it was around ten weeks old. Ravan saved it, strolling around the lake only to see some muggle children taking their anger out on the poor little thing, speaking foreign language.
The kitten seemed to be homeless and lost, now injured too. Raven brought it home and took care of it. It was perfect. Vi planned to go with Raven to look for some kittens for Regulus to adopt, but this one was perfect and in a twisted turn of brutal events it came โto herโ.
Vi and Regulus were discussing the name he should give to the baby.
"I don't think Evangeline is a proper name for a cat, Vi." He declined.
She huffed, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, putting delicate make-up on her face.
"It could be Eve, for short." Vivien already suggested Genevieve, Anastasia, or naming it after grandma Walburga.
Regulusโ mother never accepted pets in house, and if she knew Regulus named one after her, he and Vivien could say goodbye to any inheritance. But he had chuckled at that.
"How come your dogs are called Dusty, Rusty, and the graphorn is Bark, but the names you choose for our kitten are of the imperial queen, Vi?" He buttoned the last button of his shirt and walked towards the bathroom, leaning his arm on the doorway.
"Because she's your little princess and deserves to be treated like one, Rebulus." Vivien answered before she put on mascara on her already long black eyelashes.
Regulus noticed that Vi, Rora, and Cassie had a habit of parting their lips, doing that one specific thing. His face trailed off from Vivien's face down her body. She was wearing one of the gifts she got from Manon. Manon sent her more heaven-made nightgowns and that silky dressing gown she was wearing on her bare body after her shower. That rich silky material nicely drew the shape of her bum and tits.
Vivien felt how Regulus observed her body as she was finishing her make-up. She bit her bottom lip and quickly put her cosmetics back where they belonged. She wandered out of the bathroom, passing Regulus in the doorway, where he turned after her.
They were getting ready for the dinner he told her about before Christmas break. She was reminded early in the morning, when Inรฉs brought the presents for her and Regulus. The poor owl barely made it with an evening attire for the dinner. For Regulus, they kept it simple with a white button-up, black trousers, and a robe to match it.
For Vi, it was more complicated. She had winced at the sight of a corset. The dress she got was long in a purple shade, reminding Vi of so-called red grapes. It was made of satin. It screamed rich!
The tight, v-shaped bodice had a layer of lace. The dress had a full bell-shaped skirt meant to show a waist. The skirt wasn't as dramatic as the Victorian ones used to be. It didnโt have tens of petticoats under, Manon knowing Vivien would be too ashamed to wear it otherwise.
Vi studied the dress that hung on the hanger from the wardrobe door. She turned to Regulus, who stayed at the bathroom door, watching her.
"Could you ask Dove for me? And stay away, please." She said kindly, putting her hands together.
Regulus folded his arms over his chest neatly. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you need Dove? Why would I leave?" He asked nonchalantly.
Vivien raised her eyebrows at the obvious.
"I need Dove to help me put that corset on and to do that I'm going to be only in that corset and panties for a few minutes, which you prefer to not see."
"Ah," He clicked his tongue, and a smirk sneaked on his lips. "I'm supposed to prefer not seeing that, why exactly? By the way, we can save Dove some time and I can help you with a corset. Someone clever once told me that you have nothing I haven't seen already, Vi."
Vivien sucked her belly in at Regulus suggesting such help in an arrogant manner. She felt throbbing between her legs whenever he acted like that. Shivers jolted down her body like a cold shower. She felt little and silly under the touch of his gentle eyes.
Vi knew she could give into Regulus' charm at this moment and any other. But she knew he teased her intentionally and she didn't want him to win.
"Fine." She nodded her head, gathering up her confidence, surprising Regulus.
Regulus offered it to her, wishing she would agree, but he didn't suspect she would. He knew he could end up as Vivien's mere prey at any moment. But irrationally he wanted that. His insane half wanted Regulus to be a victim of Vi's hunt. It wanted her to allure him, take him however she wanted it that day, and tell him everything she wanted him to do. And he would do that and more.
His eyes lingered on Vivien as she came closer to bed, turning her back on him to take off her dressingย gown, uncovering her naked skin. She had only some mere panties on.
Vi expected to hear the door closing silently at that moment but she didnโt. She put the loose corset to her chest, holding it closely to her breasts. She glanced over her shoulder, where Regulus stood solid like a stone. He was a little bit too focused on studying her legs, arse, and hips to notice how she looked at him for help.
"Regulus?" She called quietly, raising her eyebrows.
He looked into her eyes with his misty one and moved.
He approached her back, and they gazed at each other over her shoulder, knowing that what they were doing wasn't the best idea. It wasnโt even a good one.
Vi turned her head forward when she felt the soft touch of his fingertips. Firstly, he brushed her hair off one of her shoulders to keep them from getting tangled in the tape he reached for next.
Vi felt Regulus loosely connect the corset with the tape through loops, stroking her skin, which caused shivers. Regulus smiled, seeing how Vivien's body involuntarily reacted. He heard how loud her breath turned after she swallowed.
Vivien and Regulus didn't speak until he leaned to her ear, whispering into it,
"Tell me if I would be too rough or if it would be too tight, Vi."
Vivien turned her face to the other side, him teasing her, his breath tickling her. She flushed.
Regulus knew he could burn himself accidentally, but he loved playing with fire.
Vivien felt him pull two sides of the corset together and she grabbed the footboard of the bed. She winced with her whole face, already prepared for it to hurt even before he tightened it.
But Regulus wasn't brutal like his mother. As always he treated her the kindest he could. For a split second, Vivien's whimper astonished Regulus until he remembered the only previous time she had worn such a thing was when his mother made her [figuratively and literally].
Regulus tightened the corset until Vi told him it was enough for her. He made a bow with a piece of tape and took a step back. She swirled around, drawing her hands along her curves and admiring herself.
After all, Vi liked to look so womanly. She gazed at Regulus, smiling sweetly, biting on her bottom lips, seeing that he was admiring her too.
"How do I look?"
She definitely looked like a delicious piece of cake that Regulus wanted to feast on. He surely had an appetite for something, but it wasn't food.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus met his parents and Manon in front of some mansion. Blacks bowed their heads, acknowledging each other that much. Regulus' parents didn't comment on his hair, although their eyes told more than thousands of words could.
Vi smiled softly and hugged her mama.
"I missed you so much, my love." She felt Manon squeeze her gently, whispering into her ear. When Beauchรชne women let go of each other, Manon opened her arms for Regulus. Quite conflicted with such a gesture of affection, he accepted it. And Manon squeezed him like she was his mom too.
"You look great, Regulus. New look, I see." She commented playfully.
Vi smiled at Regulus' parents. Mr. Black only bowed his head like before. Mrs. Black took a step closer to share a kiss on the cheek with her.
And it was time for the party!
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ย ย ย ย ย The dinner party was quite a dead event. It took place in the huge manor of the Malfoy family. Vivien was introduced to Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. The young married couple was the couple of contrast.
Lucius was rather distant and cold with how his eyes moved on Vivien up and down judgingly. NarcissaโRegulus' favourite cousinโwas warm and welcoming, sharing with Vivien a short hug and complimenting her beauty.
Vi understood why she was Regulus' favourite. She was still all about manners and presenting well in front of all the guests but she was nice doing so.
Unpleasant guests spread around the whole first floor of the manor like the plague.
Despite it being Christmas, Vivien didn't feel merry at all. The mansion was dark. The only sign of Christmas was a tree in the corner of the living room, which no one cared about. It was decorated in rather sad ornamentsโnearly all white or silver and a few in dark greenโdisappearing in the tree.
Vivien felt observed in the crowd, and it was one of very few times in her life where she knew it wasn't anxiety but reality. She recognised a few peopleโa few students from Hogwarts.ย
Evan. Carrows. Mulciber. Avery.
Florentine, Rosalie, and Hyacinth Parkinson.
Along Hyacinth, she recognised a few other faces of the Hogwarts' graduates that she couldn't match with particular first or last names. She even saw Zahara somewhere with Antoine, and she immediately looked away.
Zahara's family didn't like the idea of Vivien and her family. The young witch didn't want to cause her friend troubles, staring.
Vi felt like she stuck out. She obviously did. All the youngsters followed around their parents and she stood lonely in front of the wall, pretending to study some ugly dark painting she would not pay a single knut for.
It was the landscape of a storm on the sea. Dark and ugly. And yet, it was more interesting than a single guest in the whole house. Vivien stood stubbornly, watching the waves rock. She parted from Regulus, his parents, and Manon, who were in the middle of a conversation with old Mrs. Malfoy.
Vivien wanted to get something to drink, but when she went back to the spot with her hands empty, everyone was gone. She stayed there too uncomfortable to ask a stranger if they saw them. She was hoping they would look for her.
She studied the waves flowing until she felt someoneโs hands on her waist. Her stomach twisted in unease. She saw how some of the male guests looked into her dรฉcolletรฉ. She tensed before she smelled the smoky perfume of Regulus. He stepped behind her, studying the painting too, his hands moving to her belly where he rested them.
Vivien felt his warmth embrace her, and her heart immediately skipped a beat even at the pathetic two or three inches were left between their bodies. She could feel how people in the ballroom glanced at them and whispered. She could tell Regulus and she was one of the biggest entertainment of the party.
Teenage heir of the house Black with his fiancรฉe. Beauchรชnes had questionable reputation in the inner pure-blood society, and their sudden change of sides was doubtful. With Regulus, Vivien was partially there to make them all believe that their love was real and not a shiteshow.
"He'll be here soon." Regulus warned Vi calmly, preparing her for the worst.
Vivien couldn't even tense as he held her so securely in his arms. She rested the back of her head on his shoulder, and they peeped at each other from the corners of their eyes.
"Is it real or am I losing my mind?" She whispered.
It felt so nightmare-ish. All of that. The gloomy weather outside the windows, all the evil surrounding her, and that sad house. It was all so unrealistic.
Regulus smiled palely.
"Unfortunately, you're not losing your mind."
"Unfortunately? Do you wish such fate upon mere me?"
He clicked his tongue, "I don't mind you going mad sometimes."
Vi smirked. "Is that so?"
"It is." Regulus smirked smugly, too.
"When is it?"
They knew they tried to focus on something elseโsomething niceโlike each other.
"It is when you're around my cock."
"Naughty, naughty Regulus."
They were both about to snort at their obscure joke until someone cleared their throat as a sign the young couple weren't as secretive with their dirty jokes as they thought. They glanced over Regulus' shoulder to see young Zabini with Zahara around his arm. Neither of them spared the two a single stare, passing them.
Vivien's heart ached. She straightened and Regulus' arms loosened on her. It was quite a confusing task to show her true affection for Regulus, because at the same time, she was supposed to not show affection at all.
All the couples seemed to be distant. Even when dancing, they seemed like strangers to each other, unaffected by being held by the love of their lives. They looked like they were separated by the ocean between them.
And Vi realised why that was. Because they rarely ever even liked each other to begin with. And Vi felt bad for these people. Most of them never found themselves with someone they loved or at least met someone they loved. They were only products exchanged between pure-blood families to the point that it was the only thing they knewโthose transactions. Those husbands and wives didn't care for each other.
Even though Regulus' and Vivien's engagement was forced, Vi realised, our feelings aren't! We are one of the few people here who have genuine feelings for each other... And her stomach did a flip once she finally told it herself. She glanced at Regulus, nervous he could hear her thoughts. He didn't seem as frantic as she felt inside. He tilted his head, his eyes locking with hers.
"Do you want to dance?" Regulus asked out of nowhere. They stood parted by those unneeded inches, the piano music that was echoing through the house was perfect.
Vi looked at the dance floor of the ballroom. A few couples swayed slowly, but way more couples stayed away from the dance floor.
Oh... Vi's stomach did another nervous flip. In the back of her head, she thought that it was why Regulus asked her for a dance a few days before. He wanted to check if I would present goodโฆ
Regulus could see how disappointment crossed Vivien's face at his question for some reason.
"Or we don't have to if you don't want to." He assured her.
He only wanted to show her how proud he was to love herโhis affection and admiration for her through the dance in front of all those pure-blood people with sticks shoved up their arses.
"No, no." She shook her head.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, sure." She answered, downhearted with him.
He laid a hand on her lower back and they walked to the middle of the dance floor. They faced each other quietly. Vi gripped Regulus' shoulder and Regulus grasped Viโ waist, pulling her closer to him.
He grinned and Vi looked down at their bodies and back at him, when he held her hand softly. She stayed silent and emotionless once they began rocking.
A lot of eyes glued themselves to the young couple, gawking at the two. Regulus observed how Vivien's eyes ran from side to side. Even the few couples dancing looked them up and down with how shamelessly close their bodies were.
Regulus ignored them and squeezed Vi's waist gently, when she was lost with why they were staring, how to dance, how to not.
"Don't look at them. Look at me, Vi."
She glanced at him.
Vivien's eyes lingered on Regulus. She contemplated his beautiful face. She hated how she couldn't really be mad at Regulus for too long, no matter how ignorant he acted. Whenever she looked at him, a foolish smile crept on her lips.
Regulus grinned wider, seeing that. He figured out she couldn't be even mad with him, and he didn't know what he had done to deserve that privilege from such a wonderful girl. Neither he knew why she was mad at him beforeโฆ
"I hate you." She murmured.
"No, you don't." Regulus said, placing his forehead against hers.
Vivien's lips opened slightly. She inhaled a shaky but deep breath like it was the first one in her life.
"Could you promise me something, Vi?"
Both of her hands let go of him and moved to his face, cradling his jaw, caressing his cheeks.
"Anything."
"Can you stay safe tonight?"
"What do you mean, Regulus?"
"Can you behave, Vi?"
"Oh," Left her mouth.
Vivien bit her bottom lip. It's not that she wanted to misbehave, especially in company like that one, but troubles came to her naturally.
"That's what I was afraid of hearing." Regulus smiled faintly.
They were gazing into each other's eyes so closely, being watched like a play in the theatre. They were sp shitlessly worried about each other.
It just happened. Vivien reached out slightly, but regretting it, she paused. They could only feel each other's breaths against their mouths. Regulus slowly reached for her lips with his. Deep down inside, they both could tell that on neither behalf the kiss they shared was a show-off.
Regulus could tell Vi desired that, and Vivien could tell Black missed that. It wasn't just a trick.
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ย ย ย ย ย "He really does like her, doesn't he?"
Evan and Manon met once beforeโthe day she, Mrs., and Mr. Black came back from their trip to France, the day of the founding of the British Ministry celebration.
Evan liked Vi's mother from the start. She didn't fit into the pure-blood society at all. She was open and fun [also hot!, which explained why Vi was so attractive, though Evan kept that comment to himself].
Manon immediately hugged him after approaching his parents with Mr. and Mrs. Black, which was met with judgemental stares.
Evan knew she was a shitty mother, but she tried to be at least a good friend. That's more than most parents tried to do.
"Since the first time he has laid his eyes on her." He answered.
Older Miss Beauchรชne had asked the gentleman that Evan Rosier was to look for something to drink as he offered her an arm to hold. Neither of them gave a single shite about what his parents or Mr. and Mrs. Black were talking about. About to hide away in a ballroom, they were met with a view of the young couple kissing with each other like it was only them two in the room. Deeply. Slowly. Sensually.
The corners of Manon's lips twitched and Evan could swear her eyes turned glassy.
Suddenly the music stopped and bells rang, echoing through the house.
Vi parted from Regulus, shocked. He could swear a pink dusted her cheeks. She looked towards one of the elves that announced the dinner, feeling embarrassed. She let herself get so carried away in public.
It wasn't the first time she kissed someone in public, nor even the first time she kissed Regulus in public, but it was the first time it felt so longing when they were in front of people. And it felt like she revealed her feelings too much already. Her feelings for Regulus were sincere, but all of those mental people didn't need to know how sincere they were. But they did... It was so confusing!
Regulus got a hold of her hand and he bravely faced all that undeserving world with her.
"He's here." He said silently, his chin raised high.
They slowly dragged their feet to the dining room. It was a spacious room like the rest of them in the Manor. Straight ahead stood one long table with a lot of chairs. In the rest of the room, there were other smaller tables.
But the thing that really caught Vivien's eyes was a man sitting at the end of the long table. To be honest, the person sitting there barely looked like a man. He was bony like a skeleton. He had unnaturally white smooth skin. His head was bald and his nose was flat, imitating a serpent's nose.
When Vivien's green eyes met Lord Voldemort's red irises split with black pupils, his thin mouth twisted in a devilish smile. She walked in with Regulus and a crowd around them but her eyes met his easily.
"VIVIEN," Walburga called.
VIvien looked to the side away from the long table and Voldemort. Her mother was already approaching Mrs. Black, who stood at the round table with Narcissa and her mother-in-law, the last free chair clearly reserved for Vivien.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, stopping. Regulus stopped too, knowing she wouldn't like what was about to happen. Vi looked around the room. Mostly womenโwives to be exactโand children took their seats at the smaller tables. Most of the men were taking their seats at the long table. She gazed at Regulus.
He is supposed to sit at the long table with all the Death Eaters!
"No." She shook her head disagreeing. She squeezed his hand gently.
"Yes, Vi." He nodded, smiling sadly.
"Vivien," Walburga tried to call her againโmore subtly with crowd thinning to the table.
Vivien heard whisper-shouting and Walburgaโs serious tone of voice because most people already directed their steps to their seats.
"You know that if that was a matter of choice there would be no other choice than you for me, Vi. It's only until dinner ends." The witch's stomach tightened. How long would it be? Half an hour? The whole hour? Over an hour?
"That's too long." She murmured.
He leaned closer to her.
Vi didn't want to leave Regulus' side for a single minute in that haunted house, and she didn't want him to leave hers either. She was panicking at the thought itself. She squeezed his hand tighter, looking frantically to the side where his mother kept nervously glancing at them, other guests watching them.
Regulus didn't feel less stressed. In fact his anxiety was going up as much as Vivien's, especially when unintentionally she was only bringing more attention to them both. He kept his cool, not trying to raise her anxiety by showing he was horrified too. Instead he let go of her hand and cupped her face to keep the moment the most private it could be.
"It's alright, Vi. Narcissa will accompany you. You're safe and you can see me from your seat." He whispered.
"But I cannot. You will have your back turned to me."
"It's only for an hour at best."
"But it's too far and too long, Regulus."
Regulus remembered how she once told him the farthest he could go away from her was one step. And he felt his knees become weak but he knew it was the wrong time for it. It was the last place he wanted to show his desire and devotion for Vi. Not in front of Voldemort.
"Son." They heard Orion hiss because of the scene Vivien was making.
"Can't we go home?"
Regulus saw that Vi acted so bravely for him but the thought of being lonely in that room pushed her at edge. A tear rolled down her cheek. In such a shitty light, he couldn't even tell she was in tears.
"No, no, no." He wiped away the single tear. Regulus ran out of ideas to soothe her and the last thing he had left was to beg her. "Vi, please just don't cr-"
"Is there an issue?" A sharp voice echoed through the room, followed by whispers.
"No, my lord."
"No,"
"Yes."
Orion, Regulus, and Vivien spoke at once.
When Regulus' eyes widened at Vi's honesty, she realised it wasn't a genuine question. But it was too late to take her words back. People shot daggers at her for disrespecting their lord.
"Orion, please take the seat with your wife. I was expecting to meet your son's fiancรฉe."
Regulus and Vivien separated, looking at the long table. Orion looked at Lord Voldemort, bowing his head. And he walked away from his chair.
Vi realised what she had done as she noticed two free chairs exactly on Voldemort's left side. And Orion, with a tight smile, marched to the seat she was supposed to take in the first place. People were staring at herโmen and women of many agesโeven childrenโsome of Vivien's and Regulus' schoolmates. She moved with Regulus to the two last free seats.
Black wanted to help her with her chair, saving the seat placed directly by Voldemort for himself until Fenrir Greyback, sitting on the other side of the table, kicked that chair with a disgusting smirk, pushing it-
"For a lady."
Vivien swallowed, sharing a glance with Regulus. They took their seats and she looked around at all the faces at the table. It was all men but one woman. She was objectively young but she wasn't friendlier than the rest. She had long black curls sticking out in every direction. She was nรฉe Black. It had to be Bellatrix Lestrange by then, married like her sisters. She didn't even spare Vivien a single look.
Then Vivien turned, hesitantly looking at Voldemort. He was smiling.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Vivien. I heard a lot about you."
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ย ย ย ย ย The dinner was quiet. Vi tried her best to keep her mouth shut, answering laconically whenever Voldemort asked her questions about her brothers. What were their names and how old they were. He asked about her relationship with Regulus too. When they met, how they met, and how long they dated secretly before revealing their love to the world.
At first, Regulus tried to answer for Vivien, but Voldemort silenced him with his sharp stare like it was a dragger he sliced Regulusโ throat with. He wanted to know what Vivien had to say.
And Vivien effectively managed to lie their way out of that. It was nearly perfect.
"Could I get some tea instead, please?"
The elf served Vi her portion of the dinner and she asked him this, making Death Eaters chuckle at her foolish behaviour. The young elf disappeared quickly, embarrassed, which flew over Vivien's head.
Regulus saw its embarrassment out of the corner of his eyes, as it thought it was a mocking game.
Voldemort observed Vivien carefully the whole time. He saw how she delayed drinking her cup of wine.
"Don't you like wine, child?"
Vivien glanced at the inhuman man.
"No, I do." She shrugged.
There were some whispersโgossip of Regulus rubbing Vivien's belly as they stood at the ugly painting, went around the aristocracy and pure-bloods were now connecting the dots with how she didn't want to drink alcohol.
Regulus knew Vivien just didn't feel comfortable getting a single droplet of alcohol in company like this oneโespecially since she barely began not drinking this month for health matterโbut their behaviour was being very much misread.
"Are you expecting?" Voldemort asked straightforwardly, his face neutral.
Regulus felt his soul leaving his body and standing up from the table.
Vivienโs eyebrows tangled together in confusion.
"Expecting?" She questioned innocently, not knowing what he meant.
"A child?" Voldemort specified.
She felt like throwing herself through one of the closed windows there.
OH! That didn't feel right. Voldemort had asked Vivien if she liked wine but called her a child, then asked that child if she was expecting her own child. It was wrong.
And Vivien blushed, a lot of eyes directed at her. Men studied her body, even if it was her chest showing above the table or especially because it was, her breasts appearing fuller than they actually were hugged to her body with a corset.
Regulus' hands tightened on his fork and knife, when he was cutting his meat. He saw how some of the male guestsโsome significantly older than othersโgroped on Vi's body with their lustful looks after he found her studying the landscape on her own. Not only were they evil, but they were also disgusting!
Vi looked down at her body. Do I look like I'm with a child? She seemed as usual to herself. She shook her head, looking at Voldemort.
"No. Me and Regulus are waiting until our marriage."
Regulus couldn't even flush. All of his blood drained to his heart that hammered after Vi said something so suggestive so innocently, causing Death Eaters to laugh, thinking about the activity it took to make a child. They were so disgusting with how invested they were in a young girl's body and her intimate life.
Vivien seemed confused at her words being met with fits of laughter.
"I think it's too late for that." She heard young Zabini comment at the other end of the table, unbothered.
Casually, he kept eating his food off of his plate. Zabinis liked Beauchรชnes as much as Hassanis did. And his comment was applauded by boyish howls of those adult men.
Finally Vi got the hint that her words were obviously misinterpreted. The few forkfuls she ate came up her throat. Those adults acted so repulsive towards herโa teenage girl they didn't even know. She looked at Greyback who winked at her. Then at Voldemort, who was the only emotionless one, not finding interest in what was said. Nonetheless, he didnโt quieten the topic either.
Vivien lowered her face to her plate, her eyes pathetically prickling with sour tears in the corners of her eyes. It was so normal for most of those men to treat marriages as transactions that they didn't really see or care that Vivien was an actual person, not an object of another exchange.
Vivien figured out why even the evilest boys at the school treated girls with the slightest respect. It was because their mothers taught them that. To respect boundariesโthe way their husbands didn't.
Regulus saw Vivien's discomfort. He laid down his fork and knife at the table and put his hands together over his plate, looking directly at Antoine.
"I don't see how what does and what doesn't happen in Miss Beauchรชne's and my bedroom is your concern, Mister Zabini. But it seems your frustration took over and you let your imagination run free, which I really don't care about, but don't you dare disrespect Vivien again and project your personal frustration on her. Actually with all due respect, please consider not referring to her at all and keeping your distasteful thoughts to yourself if you have that little to say. Neither she or I want to hear you if that's how unbrilliant you are." Regulus smiled tightly, tilting his head, and challenging Zabini to say some more fucking shite after the whole table went silent.
The elves could cut through the tension surrounding the table with a kitchen knife and serve everyone a piece of it like a cake. Zabini boiled, getting told off by Black. He clenched on his own fork and knife, glancing between Black and Voldemort. He just nodded with his jaw locked
"Of course Mister Black." He gritted through his teeth, smiling fakely. And he referred to Vivien herself, barely making his words out, "My apologies, Miss Beauchรชne."
Vivien was surprised that Regulus so boldly stood up for her around those people.
She didnโt even know when she raised her chin but she bowed her head at Zabini, her lips rolled into her mouth. She delicately laid her hand on top of Regulus'. He looked at her, taking her hand in his.
"Thank you." She mouthed.
He kissed her rosy skin, smiling.
Regulus' attitude caught ears when so many thought of him to be a quiet and weak boy from his whole life of banquets and dinners and last meetings. It was an older Black who had a sharp tongue. A lot of the aristocracy used to say that Sirius inherited Walburga's voice and Regulus inherited Orion's silence.
There was no question about what changed Regulus' behaviour. The presence of a beautiful young witch did. Vivien took note of how the corners of Voldemort's lips twitched mysteriously after he listened to the whole verbal fight between Regulus and Zabini that she was the cause of.
The rest of dinner was long, and Vi thought it was over when every Death Eater at the table was done with their meal. But they all waited for Voldemort to finish. When he did, he gesticulated for Greyback to lean over. He whispered something into his ear, and Vivien frowned once Greyback's eyes moved onto her. He nodded his head in understanding at whatever Voldemort whispered about.
Voldemort's face turned to Vivien's as he smiled, "Now excuse us all, Miss Beauchรชne."
Before she could react, Voldemort disappeared, turning into a black smoke, bringing all of the Death Eaters with him wherever he flew. Every Death Eater, including Regulus, vanished into the thin air. The black smoke dragged on towards the door and somewhere out of the room.
Every Death Eater vanished but Greyback, who was grinning at her with his fangs. She looked around the room. Other guests were left. Not Regulus' father as she saw her dedicated seat between Manon and Walburga to be free.
She folded her arms over her chest, straightening, facing one and only.
Fenrir's bluish eyes glimmered. He was quite muscular, tall, and hairyโlike most werewolf-borns were.
Vi had that feeling that it wasn't an accident that he was the one to stay at the table with her because she knew Fenrir Greyback as a monster that attacked Remus Lupin when he was just a scared little child.
In Vi's mind, being a werewolf didn't condition anyone to be a monster. After all, Remus was a werewolf, and he was the most adorable boy she had met for a long time.
But creeping into someone's house and attacking a poor child automatically turned one into an unlawful beast. Vivien couldn't hide the unease at the thought that Fenrir remembered his victims' names or the fact that Voldemort knew she was a friend with one of themโone of the very few that survived. For Remus' own safety and better future, the attack was kept secret from the media.
Most werewolves, if they were biting, it was to build a pack. Usually they were turning young healthy peopleโespecially men since they were assumed to be stronger physically. But turning a boyโa childโwas risky, reckless, and just monstrous. A child couldn't agree to accepting a bite, knowing or understanding the consequences of it. But to some werewolves, like Greyback, it wasn't important. He didn't care for them to live.
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ย ย ย ย ย It was hard to tell for Vivien how she found herself pinned to the wall like a mounted moth, Greyback holding her throat to it, her feet inches above the floor. She was still smirking.
Vi decided that she would never again be terrified of a man. She wouldn't give that satisfaction to Greyback. He could smell the chemical signals in her body. She got a hold of herself instead of fighting him. She knew it would only make the burning pain of his claws sinking in the sides of her neck more painful, and her panic would cheer him up.
"So brave of you. Firstly you attack little boys, now teenage girls. Keep going, and maybe one day you will be capable of facing a match of equal strength, you son of bitch." Vivien spat out into his face as he was holding her at his height.
They were verbally fighting after Vivien not-so-sneakily tried to go to the bathroomโthatโs what she claimed. He told her to keep it in since she's not with a child and she claimed that could actually be. It went downhill from then on.
Carelessly, Vi stood up from the table, going for the door, when the eyes of wives, elders, and children followed her until she heard a squeal of horror coming from Manon's mouth because Greyback pushed her against the wall, stopping her from leaving the room. And with his threats ignored, he was losing his patience.
Vivien kept disrespecting the house, the guests, and the Dark Lord himself.
"Like a mother, like a daughter. I see you like it roughlyโjust like her."
Vivien felt fury. She and her mother were judged so unfairly in the most objectifying way. But there was no Regulus to stand up to Greyback, and Vivien was quite certain that if he was even, she wouldnโt want him to.
"I doubt you would know anything about that. My mom has a rich taste." She gritted through her teeth.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus had that feeling that things would not end well downstairs, finding himself in some spacious office at the Malfoy Manor with Voldemort and all the Death Eaters but oneโthe strongest and quite the most brutal.
During the meeting, his stomach dropped twice as deep at the news brought to him. Regulus was given his first task. He couldn't wait to get out of the room, find Vivien, take her home, and close himself with her in her bedroom, and snuggle to her sideโlike a pathetic teenager that he was.
Of course it couldn't be that simple.
He walked down the stairs with fellow Death Eaters, returning to the dining room only to find Vi against the wall, Greyback sinking his claws into the delicate skin of her neck. Manon stood a few feet away, hysterical, his mother massaging her back to calm her. Despite his parents' disapproval, Evan stood nearโwith Pandora, who had been hiding upstairs, not being invited herself to the party in her own home. She had to hear the things going under the floor of her bedroom and leave to see what was happening. Narcissa stood with them.
Interestingly, Evan was one of the tallest people Regulus had ever known, and Greyback was still a foot taller.
At the disturbance, Lucius entered the room hurriedly. Voldemort followed slowly on his bare feet, seeming delighted at the sight. Most of the Death Eaters returned to the table, not sparing a single look at the scene by the door they all went through.
When Vi felt Regulus' gentle eyes, she immediately laid her eyes on him. She shook her head softly, telling him not to come closer. He still took a step forward until his father caught his elbow, followed by Malfoy and Voldemort. They stared at Regulus for a split second, passing him and his father. They approached Greyback.
"Fenrir, let go of her. She is supposed to be untouched." Lucius muttered.
Greyback stormed him with his eyes, and Lucius backed away.
"She's not untouched to begin with. Little Black made sure of that." Greyback chuckled dryly.
Vivien took a shaky breath as he got a reaction out of her. A few guests noticed how the wind behind the windows was getting stronger the angrier Vivien was.
Some of those big tight-closed windows flew open, guests getting out of their seats, the low temperature embracing the room and snow falling inside.
"Go fucking on," She gritted through her teeth.
Greyback chuckled.
"You really think that scares me, little Beauchรชne? I'm not the one against the wall."
Vivien took another breath. She trembled out of adrenaline running through her veins. The wind got stronger, the tables and chairs scraped against the high-quality wooden flooring.
"You may try to keep going a bit faster. It doesn't seem you have much time until I crush your neck."
Fernir remarked, provoking her more.
Suddenly, Vi realised why that was, when Voldemort stood there with his arms behind his back, observing, observing, and observing her.
So stupid!, she was. All of that shite because Voldemort was fascinated with her druid abilities! He wanted to see themโthe abilities he had heard about and the ones he could force out of her.
Vivien threw her head against the wall, calming herself, stopping the wind.
"I'm quite disappointed that it worked, I must admit. I was told a lot of good things about you, including how observant and clever you are for a young girl, Vivien." Voldemort took a few steps forward.
She looked down at him, clenching her jaw.
"It makes only one of us. You're even duller than what I've heard."
"And that sharp tongueโjust like your grandmother. But from what I have heard, she is rolling in her grave upon those words being said." He laughed poisonously, some of his followers doing the same, even though most of them didn't understand a single shite that was happening.
"Fernir, let her go."
Vivien landed on her knees and Greyback walked away to the table about to sit down comfortably. She felt the blood drop down her neck to her dรฉcolletรฉ and under her bodice. She took a deep breath, needing it badly after Greyback kept pressing her windpipe only a little bit. Merciful he!
Regulus was so ready to immediately go after her. His father, who stood behind him, shook his head. Regulus looked at Voldemort, who stared at him sharply.
But his eyes met Vivien's. Only when she communicated for him to stop himself, he straightened in his place.
Voldemort's lips twistedโRegulus listened only to Vivien and what she told him to do. He stepped between the two, kneeling down beside her.
Vivien felt Voldemort's hand move on the back of her neck. He grabbed her hair brutally, yanking her head to make her look at him.
"Your abilities might be extraordinary but your personality isn't. You're as ordinary and crude as all teenagers these days. I can guarantee you and your little family safety, only if you can guarantee me some humility and the use of your abilities. You can fight but you can't win. You will find yourself among your familyโdead." He hissed like a snake.
He let go of her hair, walking away to take his seat. "I hope next time you will manage to impress me more since my expectations are lowered to the minimum, now that I know who I work with."
Vi stared after him, shooting draggers into his back. She never felt as hateful as she did shooting a knife from the hand of some old lady, stopping only in Voldemort's neck. Some people gasped at the sight.
Voldemort only turned around, chuckling. He pulled the knife from his neck like it was a splinter in his finger. The wound in his neck didn't need to heal when there wasnโt one.
"You stupid child, really thought it would work?" He laughed with his followers.
Vi smirked, humoured and self-satisfied.
"Not for a single moment." She answered confidently.
Voldemortโs laugh died out, his grin disappearing. He stared at the young witch, who was smirking even from the floor.
Lucius reached her, pulling her by the elbow to her feet, "Who do you think you are to come to my house, to judge my guests, and to disrespect my lord, you stupid girl?"
Regulus rushed to her, pushing Malfoy away when the small crowd around Vi was forming. Narcissa, Pandora, Evan, Manon, and Walburga all approached the young witchโall of them to examine her bleeding neck.
Vivien grinned madly into older Malfoy's face, ready to tear his throat out.
"Forgive me. If I knew it was your place, I wouldn't step into this shitehole to begin with."
"Carefully how you speak to your superiors." He warned.
"Are these superiors running late?" Vivien laughed, looking him up and down in judgment, her nose pointy, her eyes confident, the Dynasty of Beauchรชne in her showing, superiority dripping with her blood.
Narcissa looked at Regulus.
"Cousin, it was nice to see you and meet Vivien but I think it's time you two go home!"
It was all Regulus dreamt of!
Chapter 39: the moral of a story
Chapter Text
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๐ช๐ข๐ช๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ถ!
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was walking from the library, books hugged to her chest, when Peter and Remus approached her, imprisoning her between them. Remus took the books from her arms, carrying them for her, and Peter hooked his arm on hers. She stared between them, her eyebrows raising in judgment.
"So," Peter began. "What is going on with you and James?"
"Nothing." Her brows tangled together.
"Nothing? Vivi, please. I have known you ever since."
"Fine. James is avoiding me. That's all that's going on."
"Yes, we can tell. After we caught you two having you know what. Why? What happened after we caught you but before we came back?" Remus asked.
Vivien looked up at him, shrugging her shoulders. She opened her lips-
"Please, don't say nothing." Peter cut in.
Vivien closed her mouth.
"But that's what happened." She murmured after a moment of silence. "Nothing."
"When you talked, nothing happened? James didn't say anything? You didn't?" Remus furrowed his prominent brown eyebrows.
"When we talked about what?"
"About you know what."
"We didn't talk about it after we had it." Vivien shook her head again.
Both boys looked at each other and then at Vivien, stupified.
"You didn't talk about what you did after you did it?"
"Why would we talk about what we did after we did it?" Vivien quirked her eyebrows.
"To talk through what you both are."
"What are we both?"
"Yes, Vivi. What you are."
"We're friends."
Oh. It occurred to Remus and Peterโit was one of those situations during which Vivien was oblivious to the very end.
"Ummm, Vivi?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think Prongs feel the same way?"
"Why wouldn't he? Wait-did he-did he say something? He doesn't like me anymore, does he?" Vivien looked lost between two boys, panicking.
"Oh, no, no, no." Pettigrew assured, smiling softly. "It seems the problem is that he might like you a little too much."
Vivien was lost.
"What are you talking about, Pete? How could he like me too much? We are best friendsโI don't think it is possible he can like me too much for it." Yes, he could.
Pettigrew and Lupin looked at each other again.
Peter had too big a mouth for his own good.
Remus sighed.
"What is it, Remi?" Vivien frowned with her whole face.
Peter and Remus were hiding something from herโshe could tell that.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was furious! James lied to her. Or fooled her because.
Theoretically, he didn't verbally agree with her. But still! She told him it wouldn't change anything between them, and then suddenly he liked her!
Stupid! She stormed along the Gryffindor table towards James Potter after what Pete and Remi told her.
"Hi, Vivi."
She passed Lily, Alice, and Mary on her way. They didn't take offence at how she just dismissed them with a wave of hand, after noticing how reddish she was from boiling alive.
Lily half-smiled, seeing that Vivien was stomping towards James Potter, even if her friends cringed. It would probably be ugly, and Evans enjoyed it. She and James had never been friends but since they got older, she hoped they could support and help each other if necessary. He managed to prove to her that they couldn't, and it was only her wish that he could be a reliable friend.
"Vivien, no violence." Frank warned the young witch, slipping by her, walking in opposite directions.
Vivien ignored him. When she was coming closer towards Sirius and James, they glanced at her and back at each other until sheโwithout a single wordโpushed Potter and his ribs smacked against the table. He groaned in pain.
"Bollocks!"
"Stand up or I will rip yours off!" Vivien gritted through her teeth.
Sirius chuckled cheekily.
"Bloody hell! What has gotten into you, Viva?!" James scolded, irritated.
"Obviously you, Prongs. You seem to have that effect on most girls." Sirius snickered before being given a look from his best friend.
Vivien ignored their banter. She leaned on her hands against the table beside Potter.
"What the hell is wrong with you, James?! I told you nothing would change between us and now you changed your mind and are punishing me for it! You are the traitorโnot me!" She scoffed into his face.
"Who told you?" James reddened, his jaw clenched, glancing at Sirius in front of him.
Black put his hands up. "Not me. Though I regret it wasn't me, seeing the potential of this scene."
"It doesn't matter! Stand up, James. You're done with your soup!" Potter looked at Vivien, who was close to exploding like she was walking Bombarada. She stomped away towards the stairs of the Great Hall attic. He followed her.
Vivien was muttering under her nose the whole time, scoffing and cursing everything out.
When they were upstairs, Vivien faced James, and his heart skipped a beat. She had her finger pointed at him.
"You tricked me and made a fool out of me, James!" She accused. "I thought we were friends!"
"We are friends." James claimed, soft on her despite her rawness. "It's just-"
"Just what?" They stared at each otherโone harder than the other, Potter trying to gather his courage.
He took hold of Vivien's hand and delicately stroked it.
"I love you. It's just that I love you, Vivien." He confessed.
She yanked her hand away.
"No, you don't, James!" Does he think I am stupid?
"Yes, I do, Vivien. I've always loved you and always will. You were the first girl in my life."
Vivien inhaled a deep breath, trying to stay grounded and tame. She felt her head spin with all these thoughts running through it.
"You don't love me, James. A few days ago you were just grumbling about how Lily was breaking your heart because of how much you love her."
"No, Vivien." Potter sighed, taking a step closer
ย Vivien backed away a step.
"Yes, I'm in love with Lily, but you're the girl that I love, Vivien."
"No, you don't! Stop saying that!" Vivien said harshly, sounding like she demanded that from him.
She was making James' heart ache. He was getting frustrated out of disappointment. Why wasn't she listening to him?!
"I do, Vivien! I have loved you since my third year!" He confessed desperately.
Vivien was overwhelmed. James has to think I am an idiot, making her insides flip.
"Yes, suddenly now you love me since ever and forever!" She spat out, turning away from Potter, nervous.
How she hid herself made James realise that she was listening to him. Simply, she didn't feel the same way as he did.
"You don't love me, James. I don't even love myself.โ Vivien gesticulated, facing him. โMerde! I don't even know what it means to love. You don't like me like that, James. You like the idea of being the only boy in my life, don't you? That's why you hate that I hang out with Nolan!" She asked, putting scattered pisces together.
"No, I hate him, because I'm jealous that I'm not him!" James shouted.
"No, you don't! You didn't love me this whole time or even last week! You just want me for yourself because you can't have Lily. You want to keep me for yourself to have that control and attention!"
"Just say it, Vivien!"
"Say what?!"
"That you don't feel the same!"
Vivien closed her eyes, flaring through her nose angrily like a dragon.
"I do like you, James! I don't like the way you treat me! I told you it would mean nothing and you had to decide, 'Actually, no. It does mean something' but it doesn't!"
"So you only came to me because you were bored and unsatisfied by Nolan? That's what you're trying to tell me? There was really nothing more in it for you." James was so desperate to be adored by someone. Anyone.
But Vivien believed it was better to be ignored by the right girl than to be adored by the wrong one.
"I literally told you there wasn't. And you didn't protest and you used me to feed your delusion that there was and that I-"
"That you what? Love me?! All these years of friendship and you want to tell me you don't?"
Vivien felt horrid for hurting James. She couldn't tell him that. It would demolish him completely. She nodded her head, seeing how red he was, daring to be outraged.
He stepped closer, spitting his venom, poison dripping from his tongue slowlyโsteadily.
"Who do you love then?! Hmmm? Tell me do you really prefer him over other boys that much?" James asked, brushing his hand through his hair. "Over me?"
"Who? Nolan?! How many times do I have to explain? He's jus-"
"No! Black! Do you really like Black that much?"
Vivien knitted her brows together, startled. What is he talking about?
"Sirius? Merlin, no!" She cringed, insulted and disgusted at the suggestion.
Sirius Stinky Black probably peed on his hands instead of washing them. He was as obscure as charming he was. I have better taste than Remus!
"NO, NOT SIRIUS!"
[Well, maybe not.]
Vivien's heart stopped, her throat aching, closing painfully. She and James stared at each other. He raised his eyebrows, awaiting the answer with his lips twisting. Her eyes twitched, her lips quivered.
"I don't-I don't know what you are talking about." She shook her head weakly.
"I thought we were best friends, Vivien? What about that?! How long will you lie in my face? Even now?"
Vivien tried to be calm for Jamesโto not hurt him more. He was her best friend and she didn't mean harm to him.
"I'm not lying, James. I don't know what you're talking about and neither do you. You don't know what you are talking about either."
"Do I? The gifts he sent you on Valentine's days, the insults you told him, and the names you called him during your fightsโduring your banters." James acknowledged the erumpent that had been sitting on his chest.
Vivien tried to stop him from confessing because she probably felt guilty of her own truth that she tried to hide from everyone! Because she was a coward who couldnโt even handle the consequences of her own actions!
"Regulus likes meโdon't mistake that. I think those insults are proof enough."
"Aren't they?! Is it what you kept telling yourself, Vivien? That all of it was enough proof to make sure no one would notice the attention you paid to the words he spoke to you and the heart eyes he gave to your person. Everything so you could fight him. To make sure you were on his mind as much as he is on yours." James taunted her calmly, his tone dripping with disregard and hatred. "Did you tell yourself enough times to convince yourself of that?"
Vivien put her finger up.
"This is not fair. You use your delusions as an argument against me, James."
"Is that it? Is it why pretending became a habit of yours? Because you know that you would be in the wrong for liking an arseclown or should I say Regulus?" James chuckled bitterly.
"I repeat it for the last time. I don't know what you are talking about, James."
"So you didn't just call him Regulus a minute ago?"
"I don't know! Maybe I did! So what?!" Vivien threw her hands in the air.
THAT'S LITERALLY HIS BIRTH NAME!
"It was the first time you called him that, Vivien! It was always Black, Sirius' brother, or assclown! And you didn't mention him in my dormitory. You didn't count him with Carrows and others." James took a step closer towards Vivien, and her finger stabbed him in the chest.
"You're obsessive, James. And you're lying to yourself, so you wouldn't have had to look the truth in the eyes. You are desperate for anyone's attention because you need to raise your self-esteem after the girl you're in love with hates you because you are the reason why she got humiliated publicly." Vivien spoke slowly with an emotionless face.
And it made James redden with heatโhow emptily she acted made him react.
"Is that so?! I need to look the truth in the eyes?! Maybe you should do the same! O'Sullivan kept asking you out for a year, but what it took you to go out with him was to find out Regulus and Malfoy were together. It took you the realisation of him moving on from you to another girl to also try and move on. But we both know that's not what you did! You didn't move on! What you are doing is trying to get his attention! To make little Black jealous!"
"You're the jealous one because even with time progressing you thought that no matter what happened between you and other girls, you could always come back to me waiting to comfort you. But now you realise that I also can have more than one friend! And that I won't always be immediately there to be a shoulder you can cry on!" Vivien raised her voice.
"Please, be at least honest with yourself and admit the truth, Vivien. It's getting pathetic! Just say you don't love me but that you love Regulus."
"I like you, and I don't like Black, James."
"No, I agree. You don't like that little prick because you're in love with him."
"Stop! JUST STOP!" Vivien felt her stomach tighten the more James kept repeating. It wasn't his place to confront her about those things and it made her stressed that there was someone to speak about it out loud.
"What?! It's not nice to have salt rubbed into your wound?!"
Vivien sighed. Stay calm. Stay calm! STAY CALM!
"Is that what you are trying to do? Retaliate because I don't feel how you want me to. It's unfair and pathetic. Trying to punish me for something you did to yourself on your own!"
"Just say it!"
"I don't love you, James!" Vivien yelled into his face for him, everyone in the castle, and the whole world to hear.
Potter backed away from Vivien after her scream. He didn't believe she was genuinely capable of saying it into his eyesโshouting it into his face. A tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it off.
"Last year you promised me that if by thirty we wouldn't have partners, we would marry each other! Why would you promise that to someone you don't love?!"
What! Potter was acting like a child who didn't get the toy he wanted. Vivien wasn't a toy! If he actually wanted me, he wouldn't consider me as his last option!, she knew he didn't love her. Why doesn't he hear this? His own words!
"It was a joke. For Merlin sake! At first I was four when you asked me for a hand! And I accepted. Are you going to bring this back up too as an argument against me?"
"So what last fourteen years of friendship were for you, Vivien? Empty jokes?! What's next?!"
"I guess an empty declaration of love!" Vivien poked Potter with a finger.
He took a step forward again and remarked arrogantly.
"You know what, Vivien? I'm not surprised that you can't even love the person you are."
Vivienโs chest ached that he dared to hit her so low.
"Screw yourself, James! Maybe you will find yourself desirable at least."
She elbowed him, moving past him to let him be by shitty himself.
She didn't deserve that shite from James!
The moral of the story was: do not fuck your friends.
Vivien didn't learn her lesson.
Chapter 40: until death do us part
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vi woke, feeling weak. She felt Regulus corner her, touching her everywhere. She felt his chest against her back. One of his hands held her bare tit and the other warmed her bare belly, her nightgown furled so he could sneak his hand on her, Vivien nearly undressed entirely. And she felt him against her down there.
Regulus was erected in his sleep and her pussy throbbed, demanding more. Vi bit her bottom lip, glancing over her shoulder at his face. He looked so peaceful that d if someone came over to the bed, they would never guess what was happening under the duvet.
Vivien softly dug out her hand to reach his cheek, tickling it clumsily.
"Rebulus," She whispered.
"Hmmm?" He hummed, half-asleep.
"You're humping me." Vi wiggled her hips against him to elaborate on what she meant.
Regulus opened his eyes, landing on his back.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, Vi." He mumbled out. Still his hand stayed on her tit as she was lying on his arm.
There was nothing else to do with it.
Vi bit on her grin, gazing at his hand that began fondling her aroused nipple. It caused goosebumps to her. She turned around to Regulus, leaving him cold. He was rubbing the sleepiness out of his face with his free hand until laid her hand on his chest to his surprise.
"It's fine. I don't mind, Regulus." Vivien whispered seductively, lying on her belly.
Black quirked his eyebrow. His cock twitched, alerting him that it was time to violate some rules after he made Vivien aroused unconsciously.
Vi's eyes flickered friskily and they both knew she was up to no good.
"I just wish you would treat me like this outside of your dreams too."
She felt Regulus' hand slipping onto her hip to push her up on top of him. She really didn't mind any of that.
Vivien drew her slit along Regulus' length and whimpered when it felt so good. She missed that friction. She missed any friction.
Regulus rested his hands on her thighs as she straddled him, pressing so tightly that he could feel her folds even through his pyjama bottom.
Vi could feel him perfectly too, teasing it all, wanting to take it all in.
"Shite," She cried out, clenching her hands on his jumper. It felt so unholy that she was doing those things, but she couldn't say no to her body and its needs.
Regulus could tell Vi's body missed that feeling of connection. When his worst sadness was gone, he missed that too. He ended his intimate life after barely beginning it and his teenage body reminded him about it at all times.
The rational half of Regulus was at war with the irrational one. Now out of guilt, his eyes focused on Vivien's neck, covered with dressing, hiding the claw marks that Greyback left on her soft skin.
"Vi, why did you even think of doing that?"
"What?" Vivien opened her foggy eyes, slowly consumed with the feeling of that simple pleasure.
"To throw a knife at him?" Vivien's hips weren't the only things that rolled.
She understood that they played the game of pretending they weren't violating the rules of their separation, acting like Vivien wasn't riding Regulus' dick through his trousers.
"I was just proving my theory."
"The-ory?" Regulus' voice choked when she was teasing him mercilessly.
"That he is immortal."
"Vi, did you look at that man? You could just ask me and I would tell you the exact thing."
"You don't think that's quite weird, Regulus? Mankind is mortal."
Regulus never thought about all that, he just accepts everything about Voldemort was strange. But now it wasn't the appropriate moment to wonder either, his hands travelling to her hips, pushing her cunt inhumanly close to his cock so that they could feel each other perfectly.
"Fuck," He murmured.
Vivien whimpered, releasing her juices a bit on him, shaken up after he was holding her down, while all her hips wanted to do was fidget.
Regulus felt the spot where Vi creamed through the cotton of his bottoms.
"Regulus, please." Black felt Vivien's body tense as she felt shaky. Oh, she was so desperate and luscious! That was hot!
Regulus' hands loosened. Vi blinked repeatedly, collecting herself, her body weakening, and her hips spasming. It felt so unreal. But she felt empty after she wanted to tighten onto something, but there was nothing. Her cheeks were reddish and she was getting boiled out of her hormones.
Vivien began soaking Regulus all the way, rubbing them both off. She felt his fingers stroke softly her bare skin.
He was digging under her nightgown for treasure. She was all the treasure to Regulus.
And Regulus felt stupid, destroying his treasure. He shouldn't do this.
He shouldn't do this with herโto her.
He didn't want her to think that's what he missed about being close with her. He didnโt want to touch herโnot like that.
Regulus suddenly sat up under Vivien. She furrowed her eyebrows, her parted out of pleasure lips shutting tightly.
Regulus' hands rippled to her neck, and Vivien slowly stopped ebbing against him. He caressed the dressing and his eyes drew it until they moved to Vivien's face. She felt nervous, when he gazed deeply into her eyes.
"Vi, you have to promise me to be on your best behaviour from now on. If something happens to you-" He couldn't even imagine such a scenario.
Vivien dared herself to flow her hands to the side of his neck like a ghostโher touch so light. She knew he was right. She knew she couldn't risk the safety of her brothers and mother because of prideโฆ
Or Regulus' safetyโafter Voldemort had seen some things they weren't supposed to show him.
Vi swallowed, "I promise, Regulus."
"If you want to know somethingโjust ask. I swear I will tell you anything from now on. Just don't put yourself in situations like this. I felt like someone was ripping my heart out when I saw you against that wall."
She nodded her head slowly, gulping down her emotions.
"Did they-I mean do you like work? Are you on some mission? A task?"
"I wasn't doing things yet, Vi. But yesterday they tasked me with something for the first time." Regulus whispered.
Vivien nodded her head in understanding. She wasn't ready to ask yet what exactly he was tasked with, so she smiled sadly, observing him attentively.
Regulus felt her finger draw along his skinโhis forehead, brow, nose, cheek, and lips. Her eyes landed on his lips before she looked up at his grey irises, asking for permission. As an answer, Regulus linked their lips delicately.
At that moment, Vi felt like she could tell Regulusโtell him about what she figured during that shitty dinner partyโthat she had feelings for himโthe ones she hadn't told him before because she couldn't quite make sense out of them.
She pulled away, leaving a few inches between their faces.
"Regulus, I need to tell you-"
The door to their bedroom sprang open wide. Their heads snapped in that direction.
Regulus rolled his eyes at Evan walking into the room and looking all around. The idiot walked backwards, glancing at the scenery painted all over one of the walls, not noticing the scene in bed.
"Nice," He murmured to himself, lying almost on the kitten that he woke. It hissed at him and wandered towards the couple.
Evan followed the kitten with his eyes until they met with Vivien and Regulus, sharing a private moment. The little kitten pushed itself between their chests, looking for protection from the idiot.
Evan raised his eyebrows in amusement. Instead of running away with a scream, he grinned wider after he caught the two lovers in the act.
"Hi you two,"
They both lifted their brows, unimpressed. They were not embarrassed about getting caught redhanded, although they were supposed to be going through a separation.
Separate Evan's arse! Or maybe not..!
"So what are you two doing?" He asked with an ambiguous tone of voice.
"Stretching." Vivien answered. Evan's eyes went up and down as she was taking a hold of the kitten.
"Your pus-"
He was about to joke but Regulus stormed him with his glare.
Still, it was Rosier.
"Are you like dressed down there?" He was about to lift and peek under the duvet, but Black slapped his hand away.
"Mate, Vi isn't."
"Nice! A dry shag." Evan smirked smugly.
Vivien felt it was all ruined. She got up frustrated, handing Regulus the kitten, catching the attention of the two boys.
Vivien felt her heart thud, her head ache with. She got nervous and frustrated. She didn't know how to explain what Evan walked on. She came to the dresser, acting as if nothing happened, looking through her undergarment drawer. Regulus laid back down with a kitten in his chest, hiding his own erection drowned by Vivien's juices under the duvet, watching her and her little nightgown.
"Oh, there's no need to act all shy now. I knew you were back together the moment I saw you snogging like there was no tomorrow yesterday."
Although Vivien was aware Evan couldn't know he was interrupting at first, part of her was annoyed with him. He ruined such an important moment for her and he was making her uncomfortableโtalking about the subject she wanted to confront Regulus aboutโto her face, like to mock her.
She chuckled bitterly.
"Me and Regulus were never together. We were caring for our needs only. Yesterday was a show-off."
It wounded Evan to hear Vivien say something so insensitive but it almost killed Regulus once he was hit by the ricochet.
He could tell Vivien was frustrated with Evan from the second she left Regulus' body. It hurt like hellโher summing their relationship so straightforwardly. Hello reality! She was that furious with Evan. She was angry that he walked in.
Regulus remembered perfectly that she tried to tell him somethingโthat had to be it.
Vivien was angrily looking through her panties. She grabbed any pair. They were all getting too small anyway. She walked into the bathroom with it and slammed the door.
She threw the stupid panties on the cabinet, barely stopping herself from smashing her head into it. She turned off the faucet, filling the bathtub with water. She heard some murmurs coming from the bedroom, and she wanted to shout and rip her hair. She didn't know why she lied in such a horrid manner.
It was true. Vivien didn't think she and Regulus were together since she knew one of them would have to ask the other, like Frank did to Alice. But it wasn't true that it was about their needs only. By the first time that Vivien and Regulus had kissed in May completely losing their minds to fuck at such a time and place, she already wanted Black to kiss her.
And yesterday was not a show-off!, but she made Regulus think it was to her! She growled soundlessly, hitting herself with a fist at her stupid empty head. She had panickedโshe wanted to tell Regulusโnot Regulus and Evan. Evan backed her into a corner, not as nicely as Regulus did.
Vivien pulled the stupid nightgown through her empty head and tore off the dressing from her healed neck.
When she sat down in the bathtub, she heard the bedroom door clicking close. Then creaking of the old wooden flooring and a soft knock on the bathroom door.
"Come in," She said, her brows tangling together.
Regulus hesitantly did, finding naked Vivien resting in the bath. Bubbles were hiding her bare body, and he leaned his back against the door. They looked at each other.
"I'm sorry for Evan. You know he's boundary-issued. I told him to announce that he's entering our bedroom before he does." Vivien smiled. "Although I doubt he would ever again come in on something like that." Regulus added quieter, and her smile disappeared.
Vivien knew her lie was brutal. But there was no point in trying to apologise because Regulus would say she simply said how she felt, even though it was not how she felt at all. But now she lost all the courage to speak out, fearing he would think she was playing with his feelings back and forth for her sick and twisted enjoyment. Vivien didnโt enjoy hurting Regulus or mess with his head.
"Also, you wanted to tell me something, Vivien?"
Speaking of the devil!, it was as if he heard her thoughts!
Vivien could tell Regulus was saddened. She was petty after Evan pointed out to the erumpent in the bedroom that he had no right to visit during such a private moment! But again, he couldn't know. It was a stupid circle. Everything is a stupid circle that I can't break out of! "Vivien?"
Black called her when she was spacing out.
"Hmmm?"
"What was it?"
"What?"
"The thing you tried to tell me."
"I forgot."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes?" She had an uncertain tone as if she was asking him.
Regulus squinted his eyes. Vivien acted suspiciously. It was obvious she knew what she wanted to talk about.
"It was rather something important," He insisted, making her irritated with her own incompetence. "You said you needed to tell me that."
"And now I forgot that something." Vivien rolled her eyes.
Regulus observed her for a moment, making her livid. He tilted his head.
"Are you certain?"
Vivien immediately jumped to her feet.
"Get out!" She yelled at him.
And Regulus malfunctioned when she revealed herself. Vivien stopped moving, her hand pointed in the door direction. Did her titties grow? Black could feel one of them in his hand and had the same conclusion. But then a fear overcame himโwhat if he was just forgetting her body?! Regulus didn't want that!
The more Vivien stood in that bathtub, the more self-conscious she felt. Regulus saw that she was slowly getting more embarrassed about showing herself off to him like that. Personally, he didn't think she had anything to be ashamed of but he left the bathroom quickly, the tension in that small room thickening enough to crush him.
Maybe Vi was about to get her periodโฆ
She was, but that was beyond the point!
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ย ย ย ย ย After a good bath, Vivien cooled down. She put on too-tight panties, some black stockings, a black miniskirt, and an earthy brown jumper of Regulus' that she stole from his side of the dresser. When she entered the kitchen, all the boys looked at her holding one of her drawers in her arms.
She approached the rubbish bin, throwing all her undergarments in it as the kitten followed her back and forth. Dove, who was cutting fruits for Vivien, glanced at her but didn't say anything either.
Vivien noticed how everyone observed her.
"What?" She asked, raising her eyebrows, looking between them.
They went back to normal. Vivien shrugged to the kitten and went back to the master bedroom. She and the kitten repeated the action with her bra drawer that was significantly emptier.
Finally Vivien and the little princess returned to the kitchen with no more drawers in her arms. They came closer towards Dove who was finishing preparing Vivienโs plate of breakfast before handing it to her. Vivien smiled, bowing her head as a thank you. She bit her bottom lip, seeing that even with Eden on Evan's laps, there weren't enough chairs for her at the kitchen table, where all the boys were feasting.
Of course she and the kitten moved towards Regulus. Vivien's heart thudded, while he gazed up at her.
'We were caring for our needs.' BITCH HAD TO MEANT EACH OTHER'S NEEDS BECAUSE THERE'S NO OTHER WAY!
Evan wasn't the sharpest wand but he wasn't like the headless one. Vivien's brothers and he rolled their eyes at Regulus scraping with the chair against the floor, giving Vivien a place to sit on his laps. She sat down and one of Regulus' hands tangled around her hips. The kitten jumped on her legs, sitting down at the table. Vivien petted it, smiling apologetically at Regulus.
"I'm sorry I took my fury out on you. You didn't deserve anything from what I said." She murmured.
Vi knew Regulus wouldn't say much in front of her brothers and it was the most right moment to apologise because he wouldn't try to justify her behaviour. Vivien didn't like how Regulus excused her. It felt like she was taking advantage of the soft spot he had for her.
Regulus smiled. He felt a bit better, knowing Vi felt a bit bad for what she saidโthat she cared enough for that.
During the meal the kitten was curious about everything that was eaten and it tried quite a few times to bite on whatever Vivien was about to put in her mouth.
"What's its name?" Evan asked with his mouth full.
"Antoinette."
"She has no name yet."
Vivien looked fussily at Regulus. He chuckled at how she tried to give another princess-like name to a poor little baby.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien came out of the fireplace, Eden in one arm and a few shopping bags in the other. The were smiling.
Regulus, Evan, and Teddy sitting on the sofa immediately arose to their feet to help Vivien with her girl-shoppings after she emptied her drawers.
Vivien was proud that she took that step forward. She decided to do it for herself and buy new undergarmentsโthe ones that about everyone else she would like! [And maybeโjust maybeโone special boy!]
Evan took Eden in his hands. Regulus and Teddy took all the shopping bags. Bambi and Rosie entered the room to help her with her coat and bag. She sat down in the armchair, her brothers, Regulus, and Evan were making a crowd, walking everywhere. She rested her elbow on the armrest, placing her chin in her hand. The boys stood around the coffee table. Teddy was the first one to peep inside the bags out of amusement.
"That's a lot of lace, sister." He commented.
Vivien shrugged. Evan with Eden, Rosie, and Bambi also peeped inside.
Regulus didn't dare do so. It probably would be for the best if he didn't know what was hiding anywhere.
But Evan snorted and patted him on the shoulder, "God has no mercy for you, brother."
All the boys glanced at Regulus and blood from his face drained.
"I bought it for myself, Evan." Vivien contradicted calmly.
"And then for Regulus eventually." Eden murmured, causing Evan and his older brothers to burst into fits of laughter, absorbent bubbling up their throats.
Vivien rolled her eyes.
Vi was so confusing to Regulus but if that was actually the case he was meant to glance inside the bags and be the judge. It wasn't a lot of lace. It was all lace. Heaven-made lace for a heaven-made body. He was looking between the bags before Vivien snatched all of them from the coffee table. He gazed at her, and their eyes met.
Vi communicated for him to follow her before she marched away, swinging her hips happily.
Regulus watched those hips until they were out of the room. He looked at the rest of the boys. They were already staring at him.
"I will-"
"Just-"
"Yeah." Black awkwardly pressed his lips into a thin line, bowing his head, walking away after Vivien. He ran up stairs and entered their bedroom to see Vivien taking out one of the drawers. He rushed to help.
She smiled, handing it to him to sit down on the bed beside the shopping bags.
Regulus placed the emptied drawer down for Vivien and then the other.
"Thank you."
"No problem." He smiled, flopping down on the elastic mattress.
Vivien scattered out all of her new undergarments on and Regulus tried the best not to look as she began folding the first pair of lacey panties in black colour.
Vivien smiled, seeing how Black tried to discreetly take glances at all the panties.
"What did you want to talk about, Vi?" He asked.
And her smile disappeared. She looked at him seriously, her stomach twisting slightly at the strange situation.
"More like tell you, Regulus. Some shit-eating friend of yours was following me. From the moment me and Eden used the Floo, I could tell someone was walking after us through the Diagon Alley but when we left it, I could see that man. Obviously, he stuck out on London streets among the muggles perfectly, wearing black robes. Still they didn't seem to notice him even when he pushed one of them into the other." She told. "He didn't come into the lingerie shop, but when me and Eden came out of it, he sat on the chair sipping tea at the coffee shop across the street like it was usual for him."
Regulus nodded, listening. "It will be like that for now, I fear, Vi."
"Do you think he's creeping somewhere around here in the woods right now?"
"He, whoever it was, or someone else. Very possibly, yes."
"Manon let them in." Vivien said, disappointed, lowering her gaze.
"She did."
She and Regulus glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes.
"Is it like a warning for me? A threat?" Vivien asked silently.
"More like assurance that you won't do something, they will regret."
"Did you know they would do it, Regulus?"
He sighed, "I didn't know for sure, but I suspected they would."
"Will they follow me everywhere now?"
"Until we don't go back to Hogwarts."ย
"Where the walls have ears."
"Yes." Regulus sighed again.
Vivien felt uneasy at one of her thoughts, her throat tightening.
"Do you think he or someone else saw us? In-in the morning?"
Regulus didn't even think about it. Vivien's house had enormous windows everywhere, including her bedroom, and the last evening they were too tired to close the curtains. He looked at the windows. It had lace curtains that masked the events taking place in the bed, and they were long, touching the floor.
"Unless someone was flying on the broom at your window, I doubt." Regulus claimed, looking at Vi.
She easing, putting away the pair of panties on the pile, chewing on her mouth, nervous about something else.
"Rebulus, I'm really sorry for what I said in the morning." She apologised quietly, her eyes locking with his carefully until Regulus looked away from her, hurting.
"I got ashamed when Evan talked about us in my face but it didn't give me a right to say such things about us. I really didn't mean to sound condescending towards your feelings. I am sorry."
He could hear that she was genuine.
But Regulus' eyes were focused on her new panties. Nonchalantly, he took one of them caressing the material and imagining Vi wearing themโonly them.
Vivien smiled flirtatiously.
"You can sniff them if you want, Rebulus." Black gazed up at her, quirking his eyebrow.
"They are new, Vi. Why would I sniff the new ones?"
Oh!, Vi didn't realise Regulus had preferences about her undergarment.
"In that case, do you want to sniff the old one I am wearing right now?" She looked at him through her long eyelashes.
Regulusโ brain had to break, right? He wasn't seeing and hearing correctly. He blinked but his sight met Vi, who was still smiling cutely. And she offered him such an appetiser. Regulus knew he was horny bad when he actually thought about saying yes, especially with how in his imagination he saw his face buried between her long, slim, smooth legs. He looked at the door over his shoulder, checking if there was someone in the hallway.
Vivien giggled, watching Regulus dwell with himself on the matter.
Soon he smirked, looking at her so cute.
"Vi, are you flirting?"
Vivien nodded her head, "I'm trying toโwith you."
"Why?" Regulusโ greyish eyes glimmered beautifully, as if the moon shone through the clouds.
Vivien had him intrigued with the sudden change of her nature.ย
"Because-" She swallowed. "I care about you and your feelings, Regulus. And I don't want you to think otherwise. Your feelings aren't strangers to me and I don't want to disregard them. What you feel is important to me, Regulus. And I'm sorry I wasn't mature about it before."
Vivien couldn't get words out of her throat about how she felt. It was easier for her to acknowledge Regulus' feelings. He was so confident with having them.
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ย ย ย ย ย At night Vivien woke. Her merciful brothers let her keep Evan out of the master bed, and he took one of the guest rooms after he told her brothers that Vi and Regulus had the mating season the whole year.
Vivien squinted her eyes, ready to stab him with a sharp dagger of her stare.
Now only Regulus could be the cause of the noises that woke her. The quietest she could, she turned to her other side. Regulus' side of the bed was empty. She saw him putting on his clothes. She pressed her brows but didn't say anything, studying his thin chest in the moonlight before he covered it with his jumper. He dressed in his everyday clothes in the middle of the night.
"Are you-are you going out, Regulus?" Vivien sat up slowly, estranged.
Regulus gazed at her sadly, hoping she would sleep well. He smiled sorrowfully.
"My task, Vi. It's tonight." He answered laconically.
Vivien tried to forget about it, but she didn't expect the task to happen so soon. It was the middle of the night.
What could the Death Eaters do at such a time? The young witch didn't need to think, her stomach dropping at the disturbing truth. Death Eaters were about to attack somewhere, plunder some houses, and kill someone. Regulus was about to hurt someone.
Vivien swallowed down the lump in her throat. She couldn't act like a coward againโnot when Regulus needed her to act bravely. She nodded her head, closing her eyes. She inhaled deeply.
"I understand." She whispered, crawling on the mattress closer towards Regulus.
Regulus knew that no matter what happened that night, it wouldn't end well either way for him.
Vivien didn't ask him for more details of the task he admitted he had and he didn't want to talk about it like a casual chit-chat, making her uncomfortable. Honestly, he wished he would go out quietly, return in a few hours, take off his clothes, go to sleep, and pretend nothing ever happened. And Vi would sleep through it all. His rational half knew that once he left Vi's house that night, he would never again have the privilege of being ignorant. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep it off, just pretending he had a nightmare. And his chest tightened in a painful way, Vi awakened to see him go. He knew she would stay up to see him returning, wearing the same clothes but returning as a completely different person.
Disgusting, lawless creature. Pathetic bug.
When Vi reached to take his face into her hands, Regulus' lips parted and he hitched a breath at how warm and delicate she was.
"Regulus, do whatever they tell you to." She caressed his cheeks.
His brows softened.
"What if they tell me to kill?
Vivien felt shivers creep on her skin at the thought. She wasn't self-righteous, self-aware of her hypocrisy and weakness as she let out the furyโat the world, humanity, goddesses, and godsโthat she bottled in her. At that second, something cracked in her.
Vivien realised that she didn't fucking care about wizards or mugglesโthey all could die. She really hated people as a concept. She hated what they represented, how they looked, and how they behaved. She only cared about her brothers and her friends. She cared about Regulus more than she cared about what was right.
Regulus observed Vivien. At first, he felt her tense, but she didn't appear to be afraid. In the moonlight, they gazed into each other's eyes.
Regulus observed Vivien'sย wild eyesโand there was no sign of regret or remorse for what she was about to say.
"If they tell you to kill, then kill, Regulus." He had never heard Vivien sound so emotionless but so strong and decisive. "Just do everything to come back. Please come back to me, Regulus."
She rested her forehead against his.
Vivien knew she was wrong for begging Regulus to stand up against any morals or beliefs, but she couldn't care less about them. The war wasn't about being rightโit was about surviving, and Vivien would sell her soul to the devil and burn in hell for eternity to have her brothers and friends safe and most importantโalive.
After Regulus teleported away, Vivien didn't feel like she was privileged to sleep after she had told him to do everything he could to survive. She knew whatever he would do would hunt him and it was her fault. Nothing justified what she told him but she was so furious at the whole world that she wanted to see it go down in flames.
Wizards, muggles. Peopleโthey all mistreated her despite their differences. She hated people.
Vivien put the cardigan over her nightgown and tiptoed to the kitchen. She made tea for herself, trying to make as little noises as possible. She returned to her bedroom with a cup and lit one of the candles. On the bed, she found the kitty sleeping like a dead animal, and took it into her embrace. It woke and stretched out its paws to Vivien, scratching her neck. She lowered her face to it, and it bit her at the tip of her nose.
Vivien smiled faintly, feeling hollowโif someone knocked on her it would follow with an echo through her entire body.
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ย ย ย ย ย It could be minutes or it could be hours. Vivien couldn't tell, staring at the star in the sky outside of her window. It was blinking at her, when Regulus materialised out of thin air.
Vivien immediately jumped to her feet, laying the kitten on the mattress. Until she stopped. Regulus stood still in the centre of her bedroom.
Vi saw there was a splash of blood slicing through his face, when he was turning one side away from her. She approached him.
Regulus' heart thudded in his chest from all the rush and adrenaline, the shock unimaginable slowly wearing out. He was coming to his senses of what happenedโwhat he did. He was expecting Vi to be repulsed, calling him a repugnant even if she had tried to validate his actions before. He didn't expect her to take his face in her hands pulling the side he was hiding from her, the same way he didn't expect he would be able to do the things he was set up to doโthose that were necessary if he wanted to live.
Vivien's heart ached, noticing the bruised cheek Regulus had.
"What happened?" She asked quietly.
"That's just a reminder to whom I am supposed to be loyal after I stood up to Zabini at the party for you."
"And who are you loyal to?" Vivien gazed into Regulus' eyes.
"You."
If Vi didn't validate Regulus' actions, he would let Bellatrix beat the shit out of him, putting him in the coffin right there and then. But Vivien had told him to do anything to survive and he did.
"Good." She smiled softly to his surprise. And somewhat, it soothed himโhow calm she was about the situation.
"I'm going to prepare the bath." She pulled away from him before he could softly grasp her hands in his.
Vivien slowly dragged her feet to the bathroom and Regulus followed her. He sat down at the closed toilet, taking off his coat and boots. She understoodโhe needed someone to be with at all times. When the bathtub was filling with warm water, she wandered to him, bringing him into her belly. His arms locked around her hips and his cheek rested against the silky material of her nightgown.
Vivien was brushing his curls, listening to water with. Soon she turned off the faucet with a hand gesture, and Regulus gazed up at her. She smiled. Even with the dry blood on his face, Regulus looked like an angel. He couldn't do any wrong with a face like that.
Vivien found his hands at her back, and took hold of them, instructing Regulus to his feet.
They stopped at the bath, glancing at each other, letting go of each otherโonly for Vivien to reach the hem of Regulus' jumper. She helped him take it off. She crouched down in front of him undoing his belt and the zipper of his trousers. They took down his trousers. At last, Regulus took off his socks and boxers. He stood bare in front of Vivien, just like Mother Nature created him.
Vi's eyes traced the lines of his body until her eyes met his. They were hard to read for Vivien. Hesitantly, she let the cardigan fall from her shoulders to the floor as she and Regulus kept studying one another.
Regulus softly grasped the strap of her nightgown like he was analysing the texture of it until he let it drop to her side. He swiped off the other strap from her other shoulder.
Vivien's nightgown fell to the tiles, leaving her as bare as Regulus, while they stood in front of each other. She stepped out of it, kicking it to the side. She gestured for Regulus to get into the bathtub. She got into it after him.
Regulus sat on one side of the bathtub, and Vivien sat between his legs on her heels. She cupped his face to wash away the blood from his cheeks and nose. Regulus caught her wrists suddenly but still softly.ย
"Vi, I've killed people." He confessed out loud, his eyes wide.
Vivien tilted her head. "Muggles?"
"Two muggle-borns."
"Alright." She shrugged, her face neutral.
Regulus was lost and frustrated, his hands clenching on Vivien's wrists unconsciously.
"Alright?" He gritted through his teeth, narrowing his eyes sharply on her like two pointy arrows.
Vivien didnโt flinch or fight. It didn't scare her. Regulus didnโt share her as she kept gazing at him.
"Alright." She repeated it too, knowing he was under the influence of adrenaline and fury.
"This is not fucking alright, Vivien!" He whisper-shouted, leaning towards her. "I killed people! I want you to scream at me, push me, and kick me out to sleep in the backyard! I don't want it to be alright!"
Vivien blinked blankly. "Alright."
Regulus' heart began fastening again. He was flaring through his nose, ready to take his fury out on someone. Vi was that someone.
He was staring at her, spitefulโuntil his lips didnโt smack on hers.
Regulus moved against Vivien's mouth greedily, like he was suffocating and she was air he tried to desperately gasp on. Vi responded to his lips and Regulus placed her hands on his shoulders. They knotted around his neck.
His kisses were nearly bitingโagressive. But there was erraticness to them because deep down Regulus was frantic and fateful after what he had done. His lips moved to her jaw, where he was pinching her skin softly between his teeth.
Her heart was close to breaking free from her ribs, when he was kissing her neck, biting it roughly to make her pull his curls in a cruel pleasure. He was biting the trail of lovemarks on her neck going towards her collarbone, and she was gasping for mercy.
"Fuck," She heard him murmur, sucking on her cleavage, his breath hovering, moving lower and lower to what he really wanted to taste.
Vivien moaned once Regulus sucked on her breasts, delicately holding her by her ribs, his thumbs teasing one of her nipples. Vivien wanted so badly to go on, but she knew that even if Regulus thought he wanted that in that moment, it was wrong. He could truly want that but that didn't mean he needed it.
She let her hands slip to his chest.
Regulus felt Vi push him off of her in one firm movement to stay against the bathtub away from her. His heart sank. She was disgusted with him. They were looking into each other's eyes and his hands loosened on her.
His heart sank twice that deep, realising she wasn't disgusted with him at all as she laid her cheek against his chest.
"My poor, poor, little heart." Vi mumbled, listening to how fast it beat from all the emotions.
Regulus rested the back of his head against the bathtub, giving up. The tear rolled down his cheek. He was so lostโone half of him wanted to have Vi like that forever, and the other knew he would never deserve her.
Vi heard Regulus sniff. Her hands locked around his waist.
"My poor, poor, little Regulus." She felt his arms wrap around her.
"Is it fine?"
"It is always fine, Rebulus."
Vivien listened to Regulus' heart until it didn't slow down. She turned in his arms, resting her back on his chest. The water was cold, and she didn't like it but Regulus seemed to find comfort in it.
Naked, they got out of the bathroom and put on some fresh pyjamas. Vivien lay down in the pillows and Regulus laid his head on her shoulder, tickling her neck with his quiet breaths. The kitten squeezed between their bodies somewhere between their hips as if to separate them from connecting greedily.
"Tell me everything, Regulus." She whispered, stroking his back after she sneaked her hand under his jumper.
Vivien felt Regulus move under the duvet. His hot touch strolled along her thigh and hip to her waist under her nightgown, where she felt his fingertips gently caress her skin. Despite the idea that she was sharing a bed with a murderer, Vi never felt safer than in that bed, embraced by Regulus Black.
"I met with Bellatrix, Rabastan, Greyback, Dolohov, Rookwood, and a few others. Bellatrix and Greyback took me under their wings, whatever that means. It was a small village in the middle of nowhere, less than thirty villagers. No pure-bloods, only muggle-borns and half-bloods. Muggle-friendly village. We attacked when they were asleep. Me and Bellatrix, along with Fernir, found ourselves in some old couple's home. Greyback went to get them, leaving me and Bellatrix alone. She beat the crap out of me. A gift from Zabini and a few fellow Death Eaters with a mental note saying, know your place. She used her fist at first to knock me down, then Crucio like three or four timesโI'm quite not certain. Greyback dragged this couple out of their bed when they were still in their grandparents pyjamas. Bellatrix warned me that I have five minutes to do the job, and if she and Greyback returned to those old mudbloods alive, she promised me neither them or I would leave the house. They got out and I stood over this old couple on their knees, helpless and crying, holding each other's hands. They knew I was young with a wand in my handโeven if they tried to attack me back, I could explode the house with one quick Bombarda. They plead, telling me I was young and that it wasn't too late to change my life. The lady said that I couldn't be older than eighteen and that one of their grandchildren is around my age. I tried to stay calm but the time was running out, my head was spinning, and they weren't shutting up to let me figure it out. So I imagined it was Bellatrix and Rabastan since their mouths never shut. And I justโฆ used Crucio after Crucio, hitting them, listening to their cries. Screams were echoing everywhere. Men, women, children, elders, and animals. None was spared a life, Vi."
Regulus spoke emotionlessly.
"The man was the first to go. I heard the last gasp of air he tried to take before dying when his eyes closed. He was pale. His wife moved to him, crying out, My love, My love! She didn't even shout for help. We both knew there was no help coming, neither for her or for me. She looked at me and asked me to take her to her husband. As soon as he was taken from her, she didn't want to plead for her life, but for an afterlife with him. For eternity with him. She didn't even ask for a quick death, just for death. The door opened. When Bellatrix stepped in, I did it, Vi. I hit her with-"
He couldn't say it again, the word sticking in his throat but Vivien understood what curse he meant.
"As soon as we left, I puked in the yard. Bellatrix laughed, saying that Rookwood was a puss too, crying after his first kill. She took me to Greyback. He was ripping out the whole family with his teeth. That's where the blood came from. They let me stand in the corner, watching as he was ripping open that whole family's throats. The mother's artery gushed out straight at me when she was falling to the floor. Can you imagine after all that they went to Lestrange's? They are partying right now. What exactly? Last days of freedom?"
Vivien laid her hand on Regulus' cheek, pulling his face up to make him look her in the eyes.
Regulus saw no emotionโno tears, no grimace, no narrowed eyesโnothing. Vi felt nothing about what he confessed. She felt bad for him, the old couple, and other innocent families, but her brain couldn't make any sense of it. It sounded surrealโan abstraction.
"I know it's not my place or that I am not the right person, Regulus, but you are forgivenโto me. I, Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne, forgive you for what you did." She said, holding his chin.
At worst, they would both burn in hellโRegulus for obvious reasons, and Vivien for approving of what he did.
Somehow, it eased Regulus to know Vi still stood with him side by side. They were partners in crimes. One of them was a murder, and the other was hiding the murder.
"Won't you ask me, Vi?"
"Ask you what, Regulus?"ย
"If I liked the killing?"
"Did you?"
Regulus sighed, "At first, I felt reliefโbecause it was over. I didn't have to kill them all over again. It gave me satisfaction, imagining it was fucking Bellatrix for once getting treated like she treats others. But then I felt sick and I still feel weak. Does it change anything that I regretted before I even did it?"
"In terms of law, I don't think so."
They lay in silence for minutes, glancing into each other's eyes and sharing each other's breaths.
"We can't tell anyone, Vi. Anyone." He emphasised. "My parents and your mother probably already got an owl with congratulations, but no one else can know. Not your brothers, not our friends. Pandora and Dorcas wouldn't forgive me in this lifetime or in any other. There's none, we can tell."
"Not even Evan?"
Vivien bit her bottom lip.
"Especially Evan. I love Evan, Vi, but he has too big a mouth. He would forgive me, but I'm afraid he would slip it along the lines. I know I have no right to beg for that, but please, Vi, we have to keep it between us two. You, your brothers, and our friends are the only things that keep me from giving up. I can't afford to lose any of you."
She nodded her head in understanding. "It's only between us two, I promise, Regulus."
Chapter 41: highland pixies versus water nymphs
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Manon, Mrs., and Mr. Black never visitedโthanks to young Miss Beauchรชne's lack of manners. After the dinner party at the Malfoy Manor, they sent an apology letter.
Dove prepared the cake that after the letter all the children could feast on. Vivien and Regulus acted like nothing happened despite the worst having happened. And at night, Vivien laid close to Regulus' heart. She cuddled with him. He had trouble sleepingโwhich he didn't admitโbut it was obvious as he kept waking the moment Vivien would toss away from him in her sleep.
Regulus had nightmares. One night, he laid on Vivien's shoulder as she was brushing his curls.
He told her truthfully,
"Whenever I close my eyes, I hear it, Vi."
"That woman's screams?"
"No. That man's last breath. It was so sharp and sudden when it was cut off. I can imagine his body in my head and that's not a scary image. He died just like that. He wasn't disgusting in the sense of smelling or rotting. He fell to the floor. Just like that. He didn't seem peaceful, but it's just-I don't know... It wasn't what was unsettling to me or disturbing about how he looked. There was nothing creepy about that to me. But the sound of his last breathโthat's what haunts me, Vi."
Vivien was surrounded with a lot of death but there was only one death she experienced. Lugh's. He was of old age. Vivien adopted her owl when he was old and she was eleven. Vivien didn't know why he wasn't bought sooner. Later he got too old for most wizards' preferences. She didn't know exactly how old he wasโthe old witch who gave him away to Vivien for free didn't remember his age.
Lugh's only sin was being born. He didn't win the lottery of being bought as a baby owl, and the more time passed, the less he was desirable for wizards. But Vivien adopted him and loved him to his last day and longer. He died during her fifth year. She was too self-centered and egoistical with what was happening in her life to notice that Lugh was getting weaker and sicker until it was too late.
Kettleburn and Hagrid had tried to help and treat Lugh after Vivien brought it to them because she had stopped at the owlery to feed him some snacks, only to find him shaking. He didn't want to eat and hissed at her hand when she tried to offer food.
It was too late, and he was only getting sicker. The day he died, Vivien was skipping classes at Hagrid's hut. He was out to Hogsmeade for shopping. One moment Lugh lay down, and another he never stood up. After he laid down, he was too weak to even raise his little head. Vivien wanted to take him into her arms, but he was in so much pain that he hissed at her whenever she tried to touch him. She let him lay as she petted his head. Lugh was shrieking silently, his weak old body shaking.
Vivien imagined he was crying out in pain or even out of terror. Maybe he knew he was dying and he was horrified by itโshe wouldn't know.
And then Lugh quieted forever. When he didn't try to fight her as she brought him into her embrace, she knew he was gone. Her eyes drowned in tears, her heart sank in her stomach. Vivien cried over Lugh until Rebeus came home and even longer. Hagrid dug the small grave for him in the back of his hut. After a few hours, Vivien agreed to let go of Lugh's little body. Vivien felt sick to her stomach, pitious, gnawing her eyes out until they were swollen. It always hurt herโanimals dyingโthey could not understand what, hot, and why was happening to them. When Vivien visited the grave another day, sniffing, she found the small tombstone sticking out of the ground.
Vi couldn't grasp the concept of someone being gone. They weren't just out of her lifeโthey weren't living theirs somewhere else. It didn't feel possible. And she couldn't even understand how it felt to steal someone's life like Regulus had to do to save his own. All she could do was hold him throughout the night and toss back to him if she tossed away.
On the last day of the Christmas break, Vivien woke earlier. She woke first, which was rare for her. She tiptoed through the house after putting on one of Regulus' jumpers and closed the kitchen door.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus woke with Eden hopping onto him.
"Good morning, Rebulus." He mumbled, pushing his cheek against Regulus' chest as he hugged him. Regulus hugged him back, and they laid for a few more minutes. Regulus listened to how lively the house was. To his surprise, Vivien was already out of bed and even out of her bedroom.
Regulus grew from bed, taking Eden into his arms. They walked downstairs. The voices were getting louder and he heard loud laughter echoing through the floor. Regulus and Eden entered the kitchen, his eyebrows furrowed.
The kitchen was packed. Vivien stood by the oven, frying crรชpes for breakfast. On the plate near her was a pile of them, Barty leaning against the cabinet, holding the little princess in his arms. She was purring as Dorcas scratched her on her little chin.
Evan and Pandora sat at the table with Vivien's brothers, eating crรชpes from another pile. Rusty was herding them all from the corner of the room, watching all the humans. Dove sat at the edge of one of the cabinets and Raven was patrollingโto see if Vivien wasn't about to burn down the residence.
Regulus hesitantly lurked into the kitchen with Eden in his arms, and the laughter died out.
Vivien looked around to see what the cause of the silence was. Regulus stood at the doorway, cutely confused and slightly sleepy.
Vivien might or might not send more than one letter back and more than to Evan without his knowledge. She squeezed her way towards Regulus and Eden through the crowded kitchen. Raven turned off the stove immediately.
"Hi little brother." Vivien reached Eden's cheek.
She reached Regulus' lips, standing up on her toes.
"Hi big brother." She said, another fits of laughter from her brothers and friends spilling like tea.
Regulus squinted his eyes at Vivien.
"Sleeping beauty is awake." Barty winked at him.
Pandora slowly stood up and Regulus put down Eden. She was smiling widely and opened her arms to hug him, as if they hadn't seen each other in a long time. He returned her embrace and Vivien's smile tightened until the two broke away. Vivien and Pandora shared a smile and Regulus approached Cassie, Barty, and the little princess.
"Daddy woke up." Cas said with an over-sugared voice, taking the little princess in her own arms and showing her approaching him.
He side-hugged Barty, then he stroked the tummy of the little princess and shared a kiss on the cheek with Cas.
"It's great to see you." Regulus murmured with a sweet smile, looking around the packed kitchen.
Vivien took a seat on Pandora's laps after she took a seat in her chair. Raven put the second plate of crรชpes on the table.
"What were we laughing about?"
"Rosie was just telling the story of how you met the little princess." Ambrosie answered, taking Eden on his laps.
"The one of her having four paws at heart." Evan chuckled with Pandora.
Vivien poked her tongue at him.
"I think it was quite disrespectful of you to ask, you ignorant prick." Barty nudged him.
"Daddy's an ableist." Dorcas murmured under her nose to the kitty, and Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
During breakfast, they all learned that there was a summer when Vivien had shared her bed not only with a boy but with four of themโSirius, James, Peter, and Remus visiting her for a few weeks.
And Vivien learned that that imbecile Siriusโthe one who never has shutted up in his lifeโnever bragged to her that he could play a fucking piano!
"And all this time, I wished for someone to play something for once! What a fucking cretin!"
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien, her brothers, and Regulus took the time to dress warmly for the stroll she had planned. Dove, Raven, and they wanted to show the guests the forest, the lake, and as much as possible of the creatures that lived around. Vivien put on cigarette trousers similar to Regulus' that he wore every day. For such a long time, Vivien hadn't worn any trousers. The moment she put them on, it felt surprisingly nice. She put on one of the warmest jumpers Regulus owned, and she wrapped herself in her coat. Regulus put a hat on top of her head and rolled her in a scarf, their friends observing from afar, sharing knowing glances with each other. When they observed Vivien, she had her eyes focused on Regulus all that timeโher innocent big eyes. He had to feel the gaze of them because he met them. And he had to notice how pure they were. He leaned down and kissed her at the tip of her nose.
Vivien smiled like a childโsweet and innocent.
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ย ย ย ย ย Dove, Raven, Rosie, and Bambi strolled first. After them, Evan and Pandora with Eden were following. Eden held the hands of teenagers, swinging them back and forth, which they didn't seem to mindโthey seemed to even enjoy it.
Pandora had her camera prepared in the bag she wore across her body. Vivien didn't know even when Eden had a time to become so excited to meet her friends but it seemed Evan talked with him about them after Eden introduced himself as Rebulus' bestest buddy. They were followed by Cassie, Barty, and Teddy, who were all over the young couple's little baby. It looked to be in the centre of attention, having her tiny tummy caressed and chin scratched. At last, Vivien and Regulus were strolling, Rusty wandered by the young witch's side the whole time.
"You are a fox after all, sissy. Of course, he has to keep his eyes on you." Bambi commented.
Vivien rolled her eyes at him. Rusty had had the habit of herding her since they were both toddlers. Regulus understood the dog's concern. He liked Vivien's being by his side too. This was the closest he was to keeping her safe. Maybe Rusty felt the same way.
They were walking near the frozen lake, the snow crackling under all of their boots. Nearly all Beauchรชnes and the elves would tell different stories from time to time.
Sometimes, Pandora would reach for the camera in her bag at any picturesque view, which was all of them. She claimed that everything was beautiful if one gazed correctly. Evan and Eden would sometimes push themselves in a frame to annoy her, and a few times she would take those silly photos of them.
Vivien was the quietest one. She was looking around for the creatures, but it seemed they were hiding. Too many strangers at once, she guessed.
"They are probably observing usโhow's the table turned?" Teddy snorted.
From being watchers, they turned into being watched. After all, they were in nature's territory.
"Maybe they are hunting for fresh meat." Barty mused, even though he meant them all as fresh meat.
Dorcas stared at him, unimpressed by the remark.
"Uh-um!" Eden protested in disagreement with his words.
"Litle fella's righ'."
Raven turned around, walking backwards. He knew the forest to perfection, remembering where to avoid the trees in his way. He spoke without his dialect to be well-understood, his voice less harsh without it.
"They are domesticated creatures. I think I might know where those beasts are. Nearby there's a colony of Highland pixies. We have some water nymphs out here. During summer, spring, and autumn, they keep to the lake's shore, but when water is frozen they emigrate deeper into the forest, searching for new other resources. And Highland pixies have found a source of chaos. They are at constant war the whole winter every year with nymphs. And beasts love to watch their battles."
"Are you serious?" Cassie snorted.
Soon everyone brusted out like bubbles, laughing. Raven looked between all the children and at Dove, who tittered because of how silly the youth was. He rolled his eyes, disapproving of their carelessness with a shake of his head.
"Deadly serious. Don't laugh, klutzes. It gets bloody sometimes. I had to bring them a healing potion once, and one nymph almost drowned in it on accidentโone of the pixies said so."
"I really forgot about it." Ambrosie murmured after Raven dug out the memory that seemed to be buried deeply in his mind.
"Me too."
"And me."
"You sister?"
Vivien frowned. Now that Raven reminded her, she could remember the memories of watching the battles during the winter with Bambi and Teddy as they were all kids. Then with little Rosie, and later with little Philly too. Only little Eden hadn't had a chance to experience it yet.
"Yeah, I forgot too." She giggled emptily, glancing at Regulus. "The first time we came to watch with Philly, he got a fever unfortunately. We all thought he was dying because of us when he began heating up."
"Oh, I remember how you ran home, screaming that he was burning from the inside out for your sins of not listening to me." Dove added, causing everyone to laugh. "He is such a fragile child. I think the magic he lacks in his blood makes him so delicate."
Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, and Evan glanced between each other, stupified. Regulus knitted his brows together as well. Were they misunderstanding something? Was Philippe a squib? Regulus studied Beauchรชnes, but not one of them seemed to question how Dove described their brother.
"I would never guess you used to be so god-fearing, Vi." Pandora peeped to the back towards her and Regulus, smoothly changing the topic.
"Still is." Teddy claimed.
"You definitely didn't see your sister in action if you think so." Barty claimed with a cheeky chuckle.
"Oh, we all have. We were here to see her first crimes."
"Vivien always reacts first and thinks second. At last she fears the punishment."
"It's easy when you always see a wretch whenever you look in the mirror."
"Or when you are taught to always apologise to the beast after it bites you."
Ambrosie, Theodore, and Rosaire commented back and forth.
Vivien listened to the conversation with her head lowered, quite embarrassed. It was so easy to point out what exactly was wrong with her for others than it was for her to speak up about it. Even her younger brothers knew. She was so easy to read that the people she had taught to readโread her effortlessly.
None looked at her but she felt Regulus' arm wrap around. He brought her closer to him.
"Sometimes you have to bite back the beast, Vivi." Eden advised his big sister from the front, looking at her over her shoulder.
She raised her chin and they shared smiles, her nose crinkling cutely.
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ย ย ย ย ย When the group walked through the glade in the middle of the forest, they found a crowd. The creatures sat in the circle, watching a war.
They were watching the battle between nymphs and pixies like it was a play in a theatre. A few creatures glanced away from the scene as the herd of humans approached them all. The family of puffskeins hopped up happily, immediately rolling towards humans. Regulus glanced around the circle in awe like the rest of his friends. Even the enormous graphorn watched the battle between the tiny water nymphs and Highland pixies. Eden immediately pulled Pandora and Evan to pet all the puffskeins: mama, papa, and three babies.
Meanwhile, the rest came closer to the circle of a unicorn, a pair of hippogriffs, aethonans [or pegasiโhow Vi called them], and a couple of thestrals that Regulus could now see [Hurray! Worth killing two people!] The closer they got to the circle, the better Regulus saw the smaller creatures, like a few nifflers, mokes, a single jarvey, a porlock, and a knarl. There were doxies too, who were spared a part in the military conflict between pixies and nymphs. From close, Regulus noticed the gytrash hiding in a shadow beside graphorn.
Regulus slipped between a pair of aethonans, crouching down to see the battle.
There were around two dozen pixies. Highland pixies were silver blue like a winter mist with majestic jackalope-like horns but they were less like wood texture and more like ice, so were their wings that were leaving a trail of frost whenever they moved. Pixies were highly mischievous, stealing scarfs and freezing bootlaces togetherโthirteen-year-old Sirius had scared eleven-year-old Regulus before his first year at Hogwarts, telling him horror stories about themโlike some wizards and witches did to keep their children from wandering into the mist.
Some pixies had tiny spears made of small sticks but they were not the sharpest, matching pixies' laziness described in books. Pixies put no effort into their weapons. Other pixies held catapults from which they shot out small rocks.
On the other side of the battlefield were water nymphsโnot more than two dozen of them too. Their white skin shimmered like a moonlit water, their green and blue hair flowing on the wind like riverweed. Despite not being wet, they looked like it.
Nymphs held bows made of tiny twigs and hairs, probably one of the horse-like beasts, attacking back. Their arrows were not the sharpest either, matching their kindness described in the books. Nymphs meant no actual harmโthey never were violent by nature.
Both armies chose the attacks from a distance, shooting their weapons back and forth [missing mostly], and Regulus listened to the noises they made. It was a mix of gentle voices that rippled like water and high-pitched one that naturally sounded like gigglingโirritating to the human ear.
Vivien turned around to Eden, who was patting the attention-seeking puffskeins with red coat, Pandora and Evan helping him.
"Eden, don't you want to see combat?" She called and he immediately let go of her friends, running to her, excited. Like a pixie, he wanted to see pure chaos for his own entertainment.
"Yes,yes,yes." He repeated, others already squeezed their between the creatures.
Soon Pandora and Evan followed to watch the scene. Ignored, puffskeins returned to their seats. Vivien and Eden squeezed between two pegasi, Regulus stood on the side of a male.
Vivien smiled towards Regulus, crouching down with Eden, who observed the war zone attentively. His eyes were wide open to not miss anyone's single [in]tactical move. The armies flew around, shooting back and forth. Two rocks hit nymphsโone in the stomach, and the other one in the head, causing the nymphs to back away slowly.
Suddenly an arrow impaled one of the pixiesโsticking out of its shoulders. Nymphs immediately abandoned their weapons, so did the pixies, rushing to the hurt one. The pixie dramatically fell to the snowy ground, laying a hand on its forehead theatrically. It squeaked out something to the pixie, who landed at its side to hold its hand. The pixies crowded around the dying pixie, a few nymphs standing not far away including the supposed killer. The rest attended the two injured nymphs.
The dying pixie kept squeaking out something, which must had been dramatic, a few of the pixies gasping. The dying pixie coughed out its life, its body motionless, its eyes falling close.
Nymphs were on the verge of crying. The one who killed the pixie broke down in tears. The supposedly dead pixie sat up, clowning on the crying nymphโeven with an arrow in its upper shoulder. With the help of other pixies, it stood up and flew away, held carefully, more pixies following.
Nymphs appeared to turn red from anger that they got caught in the pixie's trap only to be mocked. The pixies flew over graphorn's head, and nymphs flew away exactly in the opposite direction, their voices swimming when they probably started to plan revenge.
Regulus observed it all with brows knitted together in amusement. They all did, including the beasts.
When the drama ended, everyone straightened up on their legsโif one had them. The couple of hippogriffs gracefully walked away with their heads raised high, uninterested in people of any form. And there were a few other creatures that left after them. Of course not the puffskeins who were still desperate for attention that Rusty gave them by waving his tail as he began playing with them in the snow.
"That's it?" Eden was quite disappointed, turning to Vivien. "I don't even know on which side we are."
"Nymphs, obviously." Theodore answered.
"Are you?" Barty quirked an eyebrow at him, looking from across the circle.
"We don't support mischief." He winked.
"Right." Dorcas snorted.
Vivien observed them. But in the corner of her eyes, she noticed how the female pegasus struggled to stand up. She glanced at the mare, approached by the stallion, who had brushed past her. She pulled Eden closer, so he wouldn't get stepped on one of his little feet.
And Vivien saw it. Eden squealed, seeing the mare straighten on her legs, the stallion poking her nose with hisโlike an act of affection between two parents-to-be.
Regulus and others turned around to see the cause of the yelp. Eden pointed his hand at the big belly the mare had.
"She's with a baby!"
"How did it happen?" Vivien asked in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowing.
She immediately glanced at Raven, and the teenagers cracked at her foolish question.
"I believe you would know something about it at your big age, Vi." Miss Malfoy giggled joyfully.
Miss Beauchรชne rolled her eyes. They landed on Raven, who was smirking.
"When?" She specified.
"It had to be around May. Her belly began growing day by day, inch by inch. That's a miracle. I think I have an idea for the foal's name."
Rosie gasped and all of the Beauchรชnes were touched, which was a very rare sight to see.
"Phillipe always said that as an animal, he would be a pegasus. He wanted to be a flying horse." Dove said with a soft smile as she grasped the hand of Rosie to squeeze and comfort the youngest of the boys.
Ambrosie patted Teddy on the shoulder. They shared a somewhat painful gaze. Eden looked up at Vivien, smiling happily. Vivien smiled sadly, poking him at the tip of his nose.
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ย ย ย ย ย It was a great day. Regulus felt so careless in the pure chaos that Beauchรชnes and his friends were. When it got darker and colder, they returned home, not seeing that much of the beasts after they parted in their own directions. Dorcas' whined about her boots getting soaked with a little kitty in her arms. And Teddy joined her. If there was a chance to grumble about something, Theodore always had something to add. They returned for dinner, and Dove with the help of Raven served leftovers from Christmas. Some were traditional to France, and some to Britain. Everyone enjoyed the dinner.
Not Vivien. Vivien hated everything from the Christmas dishes that weren't a roast, and the roast goose was already gone. She was drawing her fork in zigzag in gratin dauphinois.
It was too creamy for her taste buds! And too much garlic! If it couldn't be intense in good taste, Vivien preferred rather meek dishes. She hated most vegetables but potatoes were perfect. There were so many options for eating them. But not this one. From time to time, someone would peep at Vivien and the little princess sitting in her laps, when she tried to take a lick of mom's dish, which made Vivien push away a plate a little every time, not trying to poison the baby.
"Stop," She muttered at the kitten, who would tilt her head to the back to look at her with sinless eyes that tried to convince Vivien they would never object to a mama's willโunless it was eating something so weirdly smelling.
Barty pointed the fork at the little princess, chewing his food.
"Maybe you should name her Potato? She's a potatohead, if I've ever seen one."
"I actually wanted to suggest Garlic. Ironic, wouldn't it be, little vampire?" Vivien sweetened her voice for the little baby.
But the truth being told Vivien was worried, her eyes subtly prickling in the corners.
She was worried that Regulus didn't like the gift she thought of for him. Maybe Regulus doesn't like cats?
Maybe he doesn't want to own an animal? Maybe he would prefer a kneazle over such a simple cat? Maybe he doesn't like that the baby was missing a paw?
Vivien was terrified that she had chosen the wrong gift for Regulus! She never really asked him if he wanted a cat. He simply was like a catโresembling one to her.
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ย ย ย ย ย After Vivien said goodbye to her friends with Regulus, he took a hold of the kitten that Dorcas tried to steal in Pandora's bag. He hugged it to his chest and claimed that Cas would succeed only over his dead body.
And once Vivien entered the master bathroom, she found Regulus playing with the baby in her king-sized bed. He smiled towards Vi and the baby's head snapped towards her.
"Mommy's coming. She will boss us around into our places." He lied to the kitten with an oversugary voice!
Vivien scoffed, crawling on the bed towards Regulus and the baby.
"I'm not bossy. I just know what I want and how I want it."
"Yeah, that's why dad likes mommy. When dad would play on mommy's nerves, she always irritated him twice that much."
Vivien smacked him on the tummy. Regulus laid on his back with the kitty on his chest, gently holding her little body like a teddy bear and moving her front paws delicately. The kitten let him, trusting him entirely like it was never touched with the trauma from a human hand.
"I was just telling our girl about how we met." Regulus smirked. "And then how did we meet to be like we are now."
Vivien huffed.
"It's quite a story. I hope it was the version dedicated to children."
"No, the tasteful one. I purred it out to her." He assured Vivien of his mischief.
She smiled at him.
It seemed Regulus felt a little childish and carefree that day. He was at peace, like she wanted him. Vivien didn't know why but her and Regulus' eyes met. She gazed into his eyes a little for too long. Her dilating pupils quickly jumped between them and his lips.
Regulus saw it, but he didn't do anything about it.ย
"I won't kiss you, but please, kiss me if you wish." He whispered, wanting Vivien to take the initiative. He wanted Vivien to break his rules. She was already of a rebellious nature.
"No!" She scoffed. "You could hold it against me."
"I can hold you against me."
They kept staring at each other.
"I won't kiss you in front of her."
"She won't tell anyone."
"She's a child."
"And I'm not asking you to jump my bones, Vi."
"No, you just asked me to break one of your rules."
"Exactly, so please don't be shy."
"No." Vivien folded her arms around her chest.
Unconsciously, she and Regulus began leaning towards each other during their banter, and their faces were so close. They stared at each other before they crushed their lips together. Vivien stretched her hand out to the kitten, laying her hand over its small head, including its curious eyes that watched what mommy and daddy were up to.
Still, Regulus kept holding her like a toy.
Their kiss was slow and greedy. Vivien felt Regulus softly take her bottom lip in his teeth and bite it softly, pulling it. After he let go of it. Vivien broke away from him and his reddish lips, which were slightly swallowing from the crush. She rolled her own lips into her mouth, sitting in the previous position with her back against the pillows.
Vivien's arms were still folded on her chest as Regulus returned to his place smirking stupidly like the teenage boy he was. He smirked towards the kitten!
"See? That's why we like mommy, Pepper."
"Oh, please. You kissed me!"
"I didn't. It was very much you kissing me, Vi. Pumpkin confirms."ย
Vivien stared at Regulus and the kitten. She huffed as the kitten stared back at her.
"Et tu Brute contra me." She muttered, raising her nose in the air, haughty.
"Mommy's angry, Spooky."
She scoffed, "I am not at all!"
Something occurred to her and she looked back at Regulus and the baby, her eyes squinting in suspicion.
"What did you just call her?"
"Midnight." Regulus answered, smirking.
Vivien squinted her eyes sharper.
"That would be actually a cool name if you intended to give her one." Regulus and the kitten looked at each other.
"Mommy's impatient, mon chaton."
"Well, you named me quicker than you named your pet. I have rights to be-"
"Upset?" Regulus raised his eyebrows. He could tell Vivien was bothered with what she accused him of.
She cared. She was worried he didn't like her giftโthat he didn't like the kitten.
Vivien saw Regulus grin out of the corner of her eyes, and she drilled her nails in her arms. He brought the kitten closer to his face, and he brushed his nose against its tiny one before placing a small kiss on it like he would do to Vivien.
"You are Clรฉmentine, my second dearest." He turned the kitty in his hands softly towards Vi. "Clรฉmentine, meet mommy. Mommy, meet Clรฉmentine."
Stupid Black kept grinning and Vivien tried not to look at him and the kitten stubbornly. But in the end, she smiled, her nose scrunching. She took the little paw that Regulus offered it between her fingers and shook it slightly.
"Hi Clรฉmentine. I'm mommy."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien woke, darkness surrounding her. She heard some whispers.
"Here, Eden."
Regulus was gone from her arms. In the dark, she could recognise the shape of him and Edenโwho had to sneak into her bed to cuddle with Regulus. Black lay on his side, facing Vivien, and little Eden sneaked to his chest to hide in Regulus' arms from his own monsters. When they laid down, Vivien stretched out her hand. Much to their surprise, she brushed Eden's waves.
"Nightmares?" She mumbled.
"Yh-ym." He hummed.
"My poor, little flea."
"Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb your dreams."
"It's alright." She assured.
They laid quietly for a moment.
"Eden?"
"Yeah?"
"What happens in your nightmares?" She asked honestly, sleepy and tired.
"Bad men come to our home all over again. I wake all over again there and hear all those voices." Eden admitted hesitantlyโshe heard it from the flimsy tone of his voice.
"Do you have them often? Nightmares?"
"Sometimes. It's better when Regulus is around."
Regulus thought Vivien had asked everything she wanted to know but she asked another question.
"Eden, why don't you come to me or your brothers when you have sleeping troubles?" She wondered out loud. The little boy sighed.
"Because I didn't want to make our brothers sad."
'Our brothers' and not 'You and our brothers'... Does he know?
"And I didn't want to feel bad because you don't miss Philly, Poe, and grandies." Oh... he does...
Regulus' brows knitted together. What did Eden mean? Didn't Vivien miss her family?
Vivien rolled her lips in her mouth. She didn't miss her family. It was true and Vivien felt like a monster. She felt guilty like she had committed the crime herself. Like she killed her family with her bare hands, now bathed in blood.
She didn't hate Philly, Poe, or Lughโnot a bitโbut she wasnโt capable of missing them. She was not capable of that. Vivien never could fathom death. It sounded so surreal that someone was gone. It felt impossible to be gone like that. Her brain couldn't understand that Philly, Poe, and Lugh were nowhere. They were nowhere because they didn't exist anymore outside of her memory.
Yet despite the sickness, she couldn't miss them. She wasn't capable of that feeling.
Vivien never felt longingโthat there was someone gone. The house was lacking the presence of her familyโshe knew but she didn't miss it.
It felt like the dead part of her family moved out somewhereโbut they were somewhere out there. They had to, hadn't they? How could they not? She could not fathom how her family's life was stolen like that. One misfortune night, and they were gone. And she felt her stomach tighten, realising she approved of someone else's family being stolen from someone like that once she asked Regulus to put his safety first, which he did.ย
Am I a monster after all? And so is Regulus?
The silence was endlessโlingering like there was something Vivien had to say.
Regulus observed the shape of her in the darkness. She turned around, and her back faced him and Eden.
"I didn't come to you because I didn't want to make you feel bad just like you do now, mom." Eden mumbled, tired and regretful.
Regulus softened at Eden's mistake.
Vivien felt her eyes turn watery. She didn't deserve such kindness and innocent loveโฆ
Her stomach stirred.
Chapter 42: the same boy
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย Regulus observed Vivien attentively. She was silent. No one minded her and her book as she sat with it in the corner of the compartment on their way to the party. From time to time, she peeped outside the window, spacing out in her thoughts.
Regulus was worrying. Before they said they said goodbye to Eden for good, Regulus had found Vivien in the doorway of one of the mysterious bedrooms. He didn't really look around the house, only moving around the rooms he knew. Vivien didn't really show him the house, either forgetting or not being aware she should do so out of politeness.
The bedroom she looked at was bright and untouched, like every other place in the residence. Everything looked better in Beauchรชne's residence. It was clear that it was a house decorated by women. All of it was in perfect harmony. Even though Regulus always preferred dark colours, he felt at ease in that house. The light coming from the big windows emanated from the beautiful winter forest surrounding theย house was calming and soothing for the mind.
The room wasn't different from the rest. It was smaller than Vi's master bedroom. That room was painted by a hand like Vivien's. On all the four walls was a scene of different horse-like creatures. Ordinary horses, unicorns, pegasiโanything that had something in common with an average horse.
The furniture wasn't different from the rest of the house. White and fairy-sculptured. On the dresser, Regulus saw a few horse-like figurines, and on the made bed sat a medium-sized ordinary brown horse. Vivien had felt Regulus stand behind her closely. He didn't touch her but his chest and her back were sticking.
It's Philly's room.
Let me guessโhe loves horses?
He did.
Regulus was concerned. Before he managed to say anything at that moment, Vivien had already passed him and walked away. He glanced around Phillipe's bedroom for a solid second before he closed the door and went away. After that, Vivien acted like nothing happened. Yet, she fell into silence.
Regulus, Evan, and Bambi tried to convince her that if she didn't feel like partying, they could stay home and send a last minute letter, saying they wouldn't be attending the New Year's party. They would return to Hogwarts with all the kids and a few other teenagers.
Vivien declinedโthey were overdoing themselves, offering different ideas.
Bambi would go alone.
Or Evan would go with him.
Or Regulus and Evan would go [which Regulus didn't like at all but Bambi suggested that he could be the issue because Vi didn't want to ruin that evening for him].
They offered they could all go, Teddy, Rosie, and little Eden with all their happiness would spending that evening with Vi.
Please shut up all of you. I can't listen to you anymore. She had said it honestly and they had.
Vivien was paranoid but figured out she wasn't losing her sanity, and she was being glanced atโshe caught Evan doing so once.
Vivien appreciated concern but didn't need it.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus received the greatest gift of all from Pandora and Vivien found herself cutting his hair in the bathroom after his friends encouraged him to test out the hair growing potion. It worked to say the least. And in advance, if Vivien tried to leave Regulus all bald, he had a small bottle full of the potion.
Pandora might or might not had accidentally made it stronger than planned, and a few drops of it on his scalp were enough for Regulus to have hair touching his shoulders.
Vivien cut his curls. It was quite short but it was fresh and she liked it on him. Regulus studied Vi and how focused she was on her task. He could tell it was pretended. She was avoiding his eyes.
Their kitten was lying in the sink of the Hogwarts Express' bathroom studying her too and all the curls of Regulus that were falling to the floor.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien could hear the prefects in the Ravenclaw common room leading other students on what to do. Her own roommates were getting ready for the party.ย Cassie wasn't one of her roommates but it started to feel like she was when she was there with Vivien, Pandora, Sybill, and Emmeline again to get ready.
Emmeline was going back and forth between the dormitory and the common room to help with some preparations. Vivien's girl friends were happy to be all back together and to have Vivien with them even if she was brooding all over her thoughts that day.
Now Vivien stood in the doorway, studying her girl-friends.
They were all looking in the big bathroom mirror, making silly faces and cute poses. Vivien smiled softly to herself.
Bibie slipped into a tight blue denim jumpsuit with a halter neck, a collar, and flares. She had simple black platform sandals on [finally, the little sparrow is close to my and other girls height!] Sybie added a dark sea green scarf to her flowing waves and old silver rings to her small hands. On her little face, she had light turquoise eyeshadow, a blush, and glittery lipgloss.
She was posing with Cassie, who was wearing a medium-length wrap dress with a slit on her leg. It was made out of soft material with a flowery pattern in vibrant shades of orange, pink, and sunny yellow that emphasised Casโ honey skin and the curves of her body. She wore her golden hoops with loose curls like a crown on her head, her chin raised high, showing off her orangish eyeshadow and maroon lips.
On her other side stood Aurora, beaming, a camera in her hands, prepared to take the photo in the mirror whenever the girls were all ready to pose. She was dressed in the satin dressโa long skirt that gave her an hourglass waist and bodice with a square necklineโwhile her long arms, cleavage, and sticking out collarbone were covered with lace. The dress was in the colours of dark sapphire and baby blue. Aurora wore light make-up on her pearly skin and her long hair was loose on her back after all the girls didn't manage to pin them all up even together. Vi was surprised to see Rora wear a dress so different from the gloomy Victorian fashion.
Last but not least in the line stood Em, putting on warm rose lipstick that brought out the reddish undercolours of her brown hair. She sported a denim button-up mini dress with short sleeves and a collar. To match it, she chose black platform knee-boots and a metallic, chunky-funky belt with hot pink flowers embracing her hips. When Emma was checking herself in the mirror, her eyes moved to the background.
She saw Vivien standing in the background of them all.
Emmeline squinted her eyes and put away the lipstick, smacking her lips together. She turned around to Vivien, resting her arse against the cabinet. After a few seconds, all the girls faced Vivien. She was resting her head against the doorway, smiling softly.
"What?" She asked, shy at how all of her girl-friends studied her ups and downs.
Vivien had trousers on! Simple cigarette trousers with cable knit cardigan in plum colour, tucked in, and her Mary Janes. No make-up, no painted claws to scratch out anyone's eyes with classโonly raw and natural. She wore no accessories but her usual rings, including the one Regulus gifted her. And her hair was loosely tied into the pony on the back of her head by the black ribbon. It was cute, but so casualโtoo casual for her.
"You are pretty, Vi." Cassie complimented, pretty herself.
"You may want to look in the mirror again if you think that I look pretty." Vivien giggled. "All of you are stunning... or should I say bewitching." She joked dryly but playfully.
"What can we say? We're trying to keep up with you." Em's nose wrinkled adorably.
They tried to cheer Vi.
"Come here," Dorcas stretched her hands out towards Vivien, and she dragged her feet towards them slowly.
Vivien always felt so self-conscious about taking photosโshe felt like her poses and gestures were stiff as if her body was made out of wood.
She still had a good time with her friends showing her so much affection. At first she was overwhelmed with all the touches, even if all the hands were delicate on her.
And in the end, Vivien felt encouraged to kiss Cassie on the cheek for one photo, Meadowes grinning widely to the camera. And then for another foolish picture, Vivien pretended to fondle Sybie's boobs who had a wide-open mouth and her hand placed over it. Emma grasped Vivien's arse, pretending to fondle it too. It was quite a hard task for them three to keep fakely scandalised faces on without cracking, clowning. And in some other photo that Sybie took of Vi and Aurora, they recreated married couples' pictures all with overly heart-shaped eyes, one in the arms of the other.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus heard the giggles of the girls, running up the stairs.
Even though it was half past eight and the New Year party always started at nine, Barty already let him and Evan into the Ravenclaw common room, where the two clowns walked around, examining everything everywhere. It was quite a huge house because the Ravenclaws had a whole tower for themselves. The two clowns came closer to the portrait of Vivien's ancestor, Petra. It was hanging near the stairs leading to the exit of the common room. Petra looked at Regulus and Evan, raised her nose up without a word, and walked out of the frame. They glanced at each other.
"Seems like a Beauchรชne on a good day to me." Evan murmured.
"Absolutely."
And then they heard sweet laughter getting louder and louder until the group of girls ran into the room.
Vivien looked around the room. It didn't look that special but it was nice. Foil balloons were flying around!, and Barty was in the moment transfiguring a big disco ball in the centre of the common room. But mostly, it was only things moved away to make room for guests from other houses. A few Ravenclaws were already gathering to help finish food and punch tables upstairs.
Vivien was spinning around like a child, her eyes glimmering at all the balloons. Her friends were fighting all the urges to laugh.
Vivien was so enchanted with such a simple thing.
Pandora prepared her camera to take another photo, seeing Regulus snack towards Vi. Evan approached the rest of the girls to chat them up.
Vivien suddenly collapsed into somethingโsomeone. Surprised, she lowered her gaze from the balloons bumping into each other and the ceiling after they were charmed to move around.
"Hi,"
Her green irises met Regulus' grey ones when she stood chest to chest with him.
The flicker of Pandora's camera caused her eyes to turn teary.
"Hi," She blinked, blinded by the light. She took one small step away from Black, who stood with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. His gaze went down on her and up to her face after Vivien stopped rubbing her eyes. Her attire was quite different from what she used to wear.
"You are beautiful, Vivien." He was smiling.
Regulus saw that at first she tried to mask her grin, biting on it. But her toothy grin showed as she turned her face away. She glanced back at Regulus shyly.
"You are too, Regulus."
They both were grinning foolishly-
"Wait, they shagged?"
"Dry shagged. She humped him through the pyjama trousers."
Vivien and Regulus heard whispers coming from the circle that their friends formed. They were peeping at the young couple.
They only looked away immediately when Vivien and Regulus stared at them, whispering quieter.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was in no mood for a party but she had a good time taking photos with her friends before it began. But the party itself was too much for her nervous system. She was overstimulated by the lights, all the music, voices, the thick air, the sweaty smell, and seeing Nolan playing around with his friends and some younger girls in the corners of her eyes.
She saw Marlene McKinnon approach the Marauders and Evans.
Surprised, James straightened from Lily's shoulder at the sight of his sister from another mother. Lily shed a tear of happiness at the sight of her friend, all healthy. Remus smiled warmly and Sirius hopped up to his feet, excited to have his missing half back. He cupped her face, giving her kisses everywhere. Peter in the armchair murmured something, grinning. Marlene showed him a middle finger, chuckling.
Mary was missing somewhere. Suspicious since I didn't see Edgar either, Vivien had been keeping an eye on the two after Edgar showed up for Mary after the attack.
Vivien observed the scene, knowing the real party would only begin at that moment when the Marauders were cheered up, reunited with their soul sister.
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ย ย ย ย ย When Ambrosie approached his big sister's friends with a girl, wanting to introduce her to Vivien, he only found Regulus taking a shot of fire whiskey with the rest. Black, Crouch, Meadowes, and Vance had to part for their prefect duties soon.
Regulus welcomed the girl warmly, seeing she was shy. She squeezed his hand, stressed. And he felt how shaky she was nervous to make a good first impression. All of them shared worried glances after Vi told them she was about to look for Bambi before parting away from them half an hour before.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was leaning her elbows on the balustrade, the wind blew and snow was piling on the ground hundreds of feet below her as she stood on top of the Astronomy Tower. Nonetheless Vivien felt quite warm after Visu had asked Sprout how to keep the classroom warm after the two previous winter semesters everyone had spent sick after their classes. She listened to music from the Ravenclaw Tower.
From that distance, it was bearable. She was a bit overwhelmed with how many things were happening at one time in her life and she needed solitude for herself. Of courseโlike a cat Regulus wasโhe wandered to her with Clรฉmentine hopping after him.
Vi recognised his firm but light steps as he was climbing up the stairs. She looked at him over her shoulder.
Vi thought Regulus was beautiful. Yes, he looked like always, wearing his loose jumper, cigarette trousers, and leather shoes. Except for his curlsโthey were shorter, crowning his head. Their flickering like fireworks eyes met and Regulus was so beautiful.
Vi turned her away, gazing back at the stars once her chest tightened. She remembered the last time the two of them were alone in that classroom.
Regulus' heart fastened exactly the same way it had back in May, when he and Vivien looked at each other for a split second now like they did back then.
Tonight, she stood by the balustrade with her elbows on it, her chin in her hands. Regulus passed slowly the stone ground of the castle where he had lost his virginity only to stop beside the witch he had lost it to. He leaned on his elbows on the balustrade too, gazing at the stars.
"So tell me, which one are you, little star?" Vivien initiated the conversation quietly.
Regulus glanced at her, contemplating her instead of the sky.
Vi waited for Regulus to point to the correct star. He stretched his hand, pointing at the barely visible Leo constellation.
"Here." She squinted her eyes, following the direction he pointed with his index finger.
She cracked as the assclown pointed at Denebola. And he is supposed to be one of the brightest stars! Regulus was out there, shining the strongest he could.
"That's De-" She began correcting other Regulus, who smirked. She realised she had gotten caught in his trap and she shut her mouth.
"No, go on. What is it, Vi?" He teased.
Vivien obviously knew exactly which star he was but wanted him to show off to her so she could pretend to be impressed.
"That's the ass of the leo." She muttered.
Black chuckled. "The ass?"
"Obviously. You're the armpit, Regulus. Very smelly." She insulted.
"Yeah, yeah. Keep lying to yourself, Vi." He leaned closer to her to poke her cheek with his nose.
She sighed in disbelief, "You actually ruined the moment."
Regulus lifted his eyebrows. "How so?"
"I thought you would take me in your arms, rest your chin on my shoulder, and point your finger at you in the sky, and I would say, Oh, that's you? You're so cute and little, Regulus!" Vivien said, fluttering her eyelashes mockingly.
"All I hear today is lies. I might be of average height, but my cock isn't of average size." Regulus cracked cockily.
"Is it that small? That's why I don't remember it?" Vivien cringed.
"That bigโaccording to you, Vi." He clicked his tongue.
"I told you that you are the longest I hadโit doesn't have to mean you are bigโit can mean that Nolan, James, and Edgar are tiny and you're just small."
"Lies."
For a few minutes, they observed the sky in silence lingering between them until Regulus interrupted it, "Ambrosie wanted to introduce you to someone special."
"Someone special? Like a person he fancies?"
"I think they are past that. A girl he dates, I would dare say."
"What's her name?"
"Unnamed."
"They didn't say her name?"
"They did."
"You didn't catch it through the music?"
"No, I did."
"What house is she from?"
"Actually, I don't know."
"Well, how does she look then?"
"Vi, I'm not ruining your brother's big moment of showing off his girlfriend to you."
"So they are not only dating?"
"I just think they won't be only dating by the end of the night."
"Oh?"
Vivien looked at Regulus, surprised. He tilted his head, studying her, seeing her silent sadness.
"So what's bothering you, Vi?" He asked silently but honestly raw.
"Not the talk." Vivien groaned frustratedโRegulus wanted to talk about her feelings.
Regulus leaned closer, his shoulder bumping hers.
"Yes, the talk. Not the isolation. Tell me, Vi. Is what happened bothering you? What did I do? If you tell me to give in next time, I swear I will." He moved closely to her ear, whispering into it. "If you told me it was better to die than to kill, Vi, I would. If you tell me that now, I will."
Vivien straightened, her heart and head aching at his words.
"What! No!" She protested, struck like lightning had hit her. "Don't you dare say such a thing, Regulus! I don't regret you!"
He straightened too. Was it wrong of him to feel relieved, knowing Vi didn't think any less of him after all?
Black was dramatic. Sybill has to check out his birth chart, because it can't be only his cancer in the sun!ย
Vi felt guilty about what had happened but compared to how Regulus had to feel, she knew it was nothing. And she knew it wasn't Regulus' fault. He could die that night out of torture or sell the soul to the devil to die piece by piece until there was nothing left. Together, they had a spot in some hellish flames awaiting them until their death.
And Vi felt quite angryโtowards life, fate or Mother Natureโfor that. Some god. Any mythical deity.
Whatever other stupid greater being all the stupid people believed in could be somewhere out there.
She felt resentful of the whole world with Regulus facing her.
She chuckled bitterly, and her hands dropped, representing her hopelessness at the realisation that there was nothing out there.
"What is it, Vi?" Regulus frowned firmly, seeing her mind was disturbed.
"I just-" She giggled desperately and looked around, searching for that greater being.ย
So much sky, and still none to be seen.
"I just can't believe that I spent sixteen years fearing that I was a bad person. All those years of degradation, humiliation, and exploitation, and I feared that I was the bad person more than anything?"
She looked Regulus in the eyes and he could tell from hers she was really struggling.
"I thought that after all of this I would be judged. By who? Some greater justice? Where the fuck was that justice all of those years?!" She snapped, her hands emphasising her words. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? What about what kills you, doesn't make you stronger because some parts of me are rotting by now."
She tittered again, when a lump formed in her throat as if that mysterious greater being tried to stop her from saying something repugnant and loathsome.
"How was whatever that happened to me part of the plan of something good?!" She yelled out at that greater being. "Did I fail then? Am I expected to repent for my sins now? What fucking sins?! I was more sinned against than sinned! Am I supposed to show remorse? Apologise? Regret?! I was used, abused, raped, degraded, harassed, humiliated, neglected, manipulated, lied to, and traded like an object."
"I don't regret a single bad thing I've done in my life! You know what my real sin is, Regulus?" She asked him.
He only stood, listening to her let it all out, not feeling awkward but sorrowful to see her hurt so badly deeply inside herself.
"It was the sin of being born and I didn't even ask for that. None did. Not even my own mother. That's my sin. I confessโI, Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne, was unapologetically born. I don't care that I'm not a good person. I was a good child and no one cared about that. Now I am supposed to pity my wrongs because I turned out to be spiteful? No fucking way. I prefer to be hated than worshipped by fools. And I'm embarrassed for that greater being if that's what it really dedicates its eternity to. To be worshipped by people means to be stupid and average. It is if it thinks I was supposed to stay humble forever against the mistreatment because the bad deeds of others don't define me. Sure. They define themโnot me. But they affect me. I'm affected. And I am supposed to be kind about that?"
Vivien's wild eyes twitched.
Regulus could see the tear she shed being wiped off her check harshly.
"If there is a fucking god somewhere out there, it better begin to pray for my mercy because I will never forgive it." She confessed calmly. "I'm not a martyrโI was a child. I'm a child! I never deserved to fight to justify my existence or prove the worth of it!"
Regulus took a step towards her. He really couldn't collect any wise words.
Vivien's crisis left him speechless. He wasn't religious himself but he could tell Vivien was finding some comfort in the hope of Mother Nature's divine providence even if he could swear it was a goddess made up by her family or even herself only. It was comforting to her to imagine there was an almighty being that would do her justice one dayโbut that day never came.
"But you survived, Vi. You're strong and independent." When he said it out loud, it sounded so trivialising.
Vivien had to feel the same way, lying her hands on his waist, slightly shaking him.
"Didn't you listen to me, Regulus?" Her voice became frustrated and desperate for him to hear her, her eyebrows tangling together. "I needed to be dependent and weak. I'm a child. We're children. Tall children. Don't you feel any hatred towards all of it? Sixteen years of dedication to your parents for them to love you back, and all they did was doom you. You lost Sirius, you endured all the pain until you became it. Now you suffer the consequences of the brainwashing because of some silly last name you have. And they bought me for you like a whore. So you would actually fuck your wife for sake of peace and give them a grandchild."
Regulus wished all of that would cause him to feel any emotions but all he felt was emptiness. He felt hollow. After all these years, he was tired and numb. He had no strength to be angry.
"I hear you, Vi. Always. You didn't deserve that, nor did I. We're two tall children holding one another, aren't we?" He laughed as desperately as she had before.
"I'm too exhausted for that hatred, but I despise all of it, Vi. I miss the brother I used to have. And I hate that me and Sirius found a replacement for each other because we can't look into each other's faces because we hate what we see. Whenever I see him, I see someone who left. Whenever he sees me, he probably sees someone who stayed. I hate that he didn't fight for me more. After he started Hogwarts, we were no longer brothers. After I started Hogwarts, we no longer recognised each other, Vi. I've endured pain but I created it too. I wasn't even a good child. I was always bitter and full of myself, looking down on others. I have hurt the people I love." He whispered. "I hurt you. In the fourth year, I tried to push you away to fit in despite my true feelings for you. In the fifth, I disappointed you. And now in the sixth, I kept hiding the truth from you."
Vivien shook her head.
"No." She pulled him closer to her by his waist. "No, I don't agree. Yes, you were mean but I was rude to you too. I misread you and I was so used to being attacked that I thought you were making fun of me, when you were nice. And I was rude to you even more when I realised you were being nice like that. My old friends disappointed me, not you. I understand why you hid the truth about the matter. Of course, you made a bad decision when your heart never experienced kindness. You treated people the way you were taught to. Still, you managed to break through all the corruption and your heart found a way to-to-"
Regulus cupped Vi's face.
"To love you." He caressed her cheek delicately as they gazed into each other's eyes so deeply.
"To love. Evan, Rora, Cassie, and Barty. And me too." She whispered. "And you are the first and only person to do it properly, Regulus. To love me properly as I always deserved."
They gazed at each other until Vivien stood on her toes, feeling the tensionโthat it was the right moment. He saw her slowly move towards his lips, her eyes closing. His heart skipped a beat but he turned his face away.
Vi landed back on her heels soon after Regulus rejected her kiss. She lowered her head, embarrassed for herself.
He smiled sadly.
"Vi, we have to stop. It's going nowhere. It's a circle. It will always end the sameโwith my heart broken."
Vivien raised her head to face him. He wanted to protect his heart, but she wanted so badly to tell him he didn't need to. She opened her mouth, but she felt the lump in her throat blocking her voice, chokingย her. Nothing left. She closed her mouth and swallowed, taking a deep breath.
"I do like you too, Regulus." She tried to emphasise her words the best she could, desperate for him to get the hint.
"It's not the same as me loving you."
BUT I DO!, Vivien felt so frustrated. Why couldn't she just say what he needed to hear from her? She felt something strong for him and it wasn't only her body craving for his or her lips desiring him. Her heart was yearning for the whole himโhis beauty, his kindness, his feelings, his soul, his mind, and his personality. It beat in the rhythm of his name. Reg-u-lus!
Her veins pulsed, chanting, Regulus, Regulus, Regulus! She yearned for the whole him. She yearned for someone like that for the first time in her life and her heart was aching, whenever her brain was blocking her mouth to tell him in any way that she thought she felt the exact same about him as he felt about her.
"So I can't expect a new year kiss?" She chuckled, sucking her belly in nervousness.
"I'm sorry." Regulus smiled softly.
"It's fine."
He let go of her face and checked his watch.
"It's actually soon to be midnight. Do you-"
"Could we stay here? Just the two of us? Without the kiss." She offered.
Vivien was quite disappointed that Regulus declined to be her first New Year kiss in her life, but she promised herself that he's going to be the one next year! Even if she didn't know how, she would fight down her emotional incompetence.
"We can." He nodded. "But I kind of wished you would save at least one dance for me?"
ย "They don't really play any romantic music, do they?" Vivien scrunched her nose.
They both listened to muffled muggle rock that was an ache for Vivien's head. She never really found her type of music in anything that was popular among other teenagers.
She preferred classical music. Something about the lack of a singing voice made that music so powerfulโthe instruments were the ones expressing emotions.
Regulus sighed, "No, they definitely don't play any romantic music."
Vivien shrugged, "Good thing, we can pretend out here that they do."
She bit on her grin, causing Regulus to grin.
"I guess it is a good thing." He agreed, when they were already laying their hands on each other's bodies.
For another two songs, they were swaying slowly, relishing each other's presence.
Vivien felt the butterflies going crazy in her chest, causing the pleasant sensation of tingling in her insides and shivers on her skin even if Regulus warmed her waist with his hands as she rested hers on his shoulders.
Regulus was such a beauty. Vi felt excitement. She realised she was the only girl holding him like this and in many other ways. She was the only girl who had had the privilege of holding him, hugging him, kissing him, biting him, undressing him, and pleasuring him. She was the only one because he wanted only her to take care of him. And she was doing so because he was the only boy she wanted to take care of in those ways.
Vi knew she would do everything to re-win her privileges back. And Regulus looked so beautiful in the starlight, his onyx hair shimmering and his pearly skin glimmering. Such a beauty. She laid her head against his shoulder, dropping her hands to his chest, melting from how hot he was.
Regulus didn't mind, his arms tightening around her, hugging her.
"You know our friends probably think we went to fuck?"
"Maybe we should leave Evan at yours."
"I think it's too late now, Regulus."
They kept swaying until they heard the music go silent,
"TEN!"
Regulus separated.
"NINE!"
He took Viโs hand into his to swirl her around.
"EIGHT!"
Vivien did half of the spin.
"SEVEN!"
And her back bumped into his chest clumsily.
"SIX!"
Regulus embraced her from behind.
"FIVE!"
Their hands tangled together, keeping her close to him.
"FOUR!"
Their cheeks met after he lowered himself to her height.
"THREE!"
"Two," Vi murmured with the muffled crowd.
"One." Regulus did the same.
The sky lightened up with all the colours of a rainbow, the villagers of the Highlands shooting up the fireworks.
"Happy new year, Rebulus." Vivien whispered before kissing him on the cheek.
"Happy new year, Vi." He whispered back, kissing her on the temple.
Vivien watched the fireworks with her lips parted as if it was the first time she saw them.
She was so easy to excite, Regulus kept looking at her, amazed. She squealed whenever purple fireworks were slicing through the sky.
Visu almost laughed at the witch, but they stayed quiet. It seemed the young couple was too deep into their bubble to notice them. They only shared a glance with the little kitty, sitting in the corner of the doorway watching the sky and swinging its tail, curious about all the lights. After all, they stood at the doorway away from them. As long as the couple was behaving, Visu let them be.
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ย ย ย ย ย In the early morning, Evan and Barty found Regulus snoring into Vivien's.
In exchange, she was drooling on his pillow. They lay, clothed, embracing each other tightly. The two boys looked at each other before switching off the Lumos Maxima after they woke the little princess at the footboard.
Hooked, they thought to themselves. As if they were better.
Barty laid his head on Evan's shoulder, hugging one another, going to sleep.
Vivien and Regulus didn't say anything about how they saw Evan and Barty sleeping in the bed next to them, since they acted like it didn't happen.
But it did definitely happen with how they were flirtatiously teasing each other during the dinner. And they thought they were sneaky with it! With the playful kicks under the table and their arms brushing against each other!
Pandora did her best not to giggle, sitting on Barty's side. On Evan's side, Dorcas kept grimacing at them, distasted about how boyish they acted, her head pulsing from all the light and noises.
Regulus and Vi pretended they saw nothing, eating their food. They were the last two people who could call out anyone for such behaviour when they could act worse together.
Vivien cut the sandwich in a half, and laid one half on Regulus' plate. He looked at her with a frown.
"What? I don't want all of it." She smiled innocently.
Vivien had a habit of re-preparing food the elves made how she liked and giving it to the closest person sitting to herโeverything she didn't feel like eating on a given day. And Regulus did his best to eat all the rubbish food she would throw on his plate, knowing she didn't want it to go to waste.
Regulus rolled his eyes but took the sandwich and put his half to his mouth as she was eating hers. Vivien ate her half, satisfied with the sandwich and Regulus until she heard a clearing of someone's throat.
Everyone's heads snapped in Bambi's direction. Vivien's smile grew until she saw that he was accompanied. She lowered her brows at the sight of the two strange girls. One of them looked well-rested after the party. She had dark eyes and long black hair. Vivien recognised her. It was a Ravenclaw from fifth or fourth year. Felicity, maybe?
The other girl was colourless and sleepless despite her fresh appearance. She had hazel eyes and brown hair. She didnโt really recognise her that well.
Vivien's friend furrowed their brows. The mysterious girl and Vivien looked to have some characteristic features that were very similar if not the sameโbig eyes, a diamond face, full cheeks, and pink heart-shaped lips. The mysterious girl was hugging herself when she and Freya stood behind Ambrosie, Freya holding his hand.
"Hi?" Vivien said hesitantly.
"Vivi, we need your help." Ambrosie said shortly, significantly seriously.
"Who's we?" She asked, glancing at the girls, turning on the bench towards her brother and his friends she didnโt know.
Ambrosie looked behind the two girls.
"This is Freya, my girlfriend." He introduced the well-rested girl, who waved her hand shyly. She was smiling but it was more of a sad gestureโeven Vivien could tell.
Vivienโs stomach twisted, when she imagined that Bambi introducing his girlfriend was supposed to be a happy moment but it didnโt feel like it.
She smiled in return out of politeness.
"And this is Imogen. A friend." That one seemed disturbed, her empty eyes moving around frantically until she heard her name called. She snapped straight, swallowing. Her heavyโwith bags underโeyes fell on Vivien and her friends.
"Hi," Vivien gave her a soft smile as the girl seemed to be in not the best state of mind. "How can I help?"
Am I wrong for assuming this is the girl who needs help?, she cringed inside.
The three looked between each other before Imogen glanced somewhere over her shoulder.
"It was a bad idea." She murmured and looked back at Ambrosie and Freya.
"No, it wasn't." Ambrosie protested.
Vivien felt uncomfortable. She felt the tension building because of the secretive conversation her brother and his companion had. She looked at Regulus and her friends, who gesticulated with their headsโto encourage her.
Vivien stood up from the bench to help, whatever the situation was.
"I can help you, but only if you tell me what it is about."
Bambi, Freya, and Imogen faced Vivien.
"Maybe it's better if we do it somewhere priva-" Freya wanted to suggest.
"I think we were both hurt by the same boy." Imogen cut in sharply, her eyes turning teary.
She rolled her lips into her mouth.
Vivien's stomach tightened immediately. She heard the clunkโone of her friends dropped a fork out of shock.
As if to prove the sincerity of her confession to all of those strangers, Imogen looked again over her shoulder to the Hufflepuff table
Vivien saw Nolan look away from Imogen and her, returning to the talk with his housemates, a disgusting self-satisfied smirk on his disgusting mouth.
Chapter 43: cold sweat
Chapter Text
[Major Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse, Body Fluids!]
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๐ช๐ข๐ช๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ถ
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien's head pulsed. Everything was spinning and blurring in her eyes.
She was on her knees, puking everything outโher dinner, snacks, the glass of wine, Nolan. She felt a cold sweat run down her neck. Spasm went through her body. She was freezing.
Her head hurt.
Her mouth hurt.
Her jaw hurt.
Her throat hurt.
It all hurt from how Nolan almost ripped her skin, broke her jaw, and cut out the air from her lungs for his enjoyment.
Vivien heard his steps echoing, pacing back and forth behind her back as she sat on the floor. Tears drowned her eyes before crashing out like a wave against a rock. She didn't want to provoke him to hurt her more or give him more satisfaction. She sat on the cold stone with one hand in the puddle of her own vomit. She could see blood from her wound dripping down into it.
Vivien sniffled, water coming out of her nose. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her.
Nolan yanked her by her hair. She didn't even yelp. He was gripping her so tightly that she could swear he ripped away her scalp from her skull. She was too tired, feeling shivers come over her body.
"Oh, please! Don't act so innocently, you slag! I just treated you how you deserve!" Vivien could smell Nolan's breath, spitting in her face those words.
He was perfectly sober despite the party in the basement. She couldn't even lie to herself anymoreโthat it was something else and not only him.
It was quite dark in the corridors when all the students were partying in the Hufflepuff common room.
Vivien was all alone in that corridor with Nolan. For the first time, she wanted to fight him but she was too weak. He had smacked her across the face and she smashed her head on the stone wall after losing her balance in shock. She had let him do whatever he wanted, hoping he would end soon. She was so terrified and there was no help or hope. She felt her head ache so badly, everything turning cold, including her sweat. She was in front of him, down on her knees, in a halter dress. Nolan had torn the tying of itโVivien had to hold the top to her chest to not uncover herself.
She wished he would do everything he wanted to do and leave her alone in that corridor to bleed out slowly. After she smashed her head, she lost consciousness for a minute. She opened her eyes to the view of him standing over her, crushing her neck in his hand, drilling his sharp fingers in her flesh. All because she couldn't stop herself from maniacally laughing in his face after she had madly told him about her and James. She was walking away from him and he had grabbed her wrist. When she turned, he smacked her across the face.
It all happened so fastโstill not fast enough for Vivien to not register all the horror. Part of her wished she wouldn't wake after she smashed her headโat very least until it was all done. But another part of her knew that if that happened, she would wish to never wake again at allโlike she was doing anyway.
She looked into his eyes, petrified. Her eyes twitched. His dark irises were jet black in the candle-light. She took a shaky breath as he was holding her. She was so petrified he would do more. Despite her best efforts, tears kept flowing out of her eyes. She wished she would die in that corridor.
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ย ย ย ย ย Dorcas and Zahara turned, walking in the direction of the voice that shouted such disgusting things. They were just doing their patrolling duties, taking a break from the New Year party, so were all the prefects. Now hearing someone shouting profanities, they marched towards the direction the male voice echoed from. They stopped dead after walking straight into the side corridor, noticing the most unnerving view those two girls had ever seen.
Vivien was on her knees and Nolan was holding her tightly by her neck. She was so pale, blood streaming down the side of her face. She had one hand in a puddle of her own stomach contents. With the other, she was holding her dress, shaking weakly. She squinted her teary eyes to sharpen her blurry vision until Nolan pushed her head down, seeing the girls holding their wands that were brightening the dark corridor. He rolled his eyes, strolling away a few feet, scoffing and cursing under his nose in disbeliefโat the audacity Vivien would do as such.
Vivien looked down at her vomits, blinded by the brightness.
"Fuck, Barty!"
"BARTY!"
She heard two female voices and her head was close to exploding. It was too loud.
"Shhh," She barely hissed.
Suddenly she felt someone approach her from the sides, trying to touch her shoulder. She yanked it, terrified it was Nolan again.
"Sorry, Vivien. We're quiet now." She recognised the voice of Zahara, who whispered to her.
Vivien heard another two sets of steps getting louder and louder when there were two boys marching towards the girls and Nolan.
Barty and Regulus saw the light coming from the corridor and they turned the corner, imagining a lot of things. Still not Dorcas and Zahara closing Vivien in a circle.
Vivien was barely responsive, shaking, pale as a ghost. Strands of her hair were glued to her forehead by the blood. The girls were holding her away from the puddle of her own vomit that she had bled into before.
Barty noticed Nolan in the corner of the corridor, chuckling and shaking his head in disbelief. Immediately, he rushed and reached him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pushing him against the wall.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Regulus came to the girls, taking off his jacket to cover Vivien, who was holding her dress to her chest with her tremoring hand. He handed it to Zahara, ignoring the vomit he stepped into.
"What is it?" Vivien widened her tired eyes, feeling Zahara placing a jacket on her shoulders. She saw some blurry figures around her.
"A jacket for you to cover yourself." Dorcasโ voice assured her, helping her put it on.
"She doesn't have much to cover there." Nolan remarked cheekily.
Regulus boiled, stirred with various emotions. He hopped to his feet, coming closer to Barty and Sullivan pinned against the wall like a mounted bugโa small but disgusting cockroach.
"What the fuck did you do?!" He raised his tone, ready to crush Sullivanโs skull on that wall, only Barty in his way stopping him from that.
"I only did what the slag wanted." Nolan snorted.ย
"Did she want you to force yourself on her?!"
"Black, once you touch any woman, you will realise it's not about what they tell you but how they behave. This one acted like a whore and got treated like one."
Barty lost his patience, hammering Nolan to the wall by his neck.
"Oh, right, this is the hole you want to put your little cock into, isn't it, Black? Let's say it was a warm-up, and I stretched it out for you."
Regulus' fists clenched, as did Barty's hands around Nolan's throat.
Vi listened, realising Regulus and Barty were there to see the pathetic view she was. She raised her head, remembering Nolan's words from minutes before.
"He told me to relax my jaw because otherwise he would use the holes I couldn't close when I tried to stop him." They all glanced at Vivien.
Her voice was dry, her throat burning so painfully.
"I really tried to grit my teeth but-"
She broke out into a sob, her whole face quivering. The girls embraced her, Zahara pulling Vivien to her breast like a mother would do to a child. She shared a glance with Dorcas, their brows softened.
They couldn't imagine the terror.
Regulus' heart ached. He couldn't imagine how anyone could dare to hurt any girl in such a sick way.
Vivien continued to mumble into Zahara's neck, hiccuping, sniffing, sobbing.
"I was too tired. My head hurts. I passed out and thatโs when he grabbed me from the ground. He made me..."
Vivien pulled away, looking between everyone with barely opened eyes, losing contact with reality again.
"It's so cold out here. I think I need to sleep it off." She murmured, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion, like she forgot what just had happened.
And suddenly she laid back on Zahara's shoulder to sleep.
"No, no, no." Regulus moved back towards the girls.
Vivien heard his voice and widened her eyes the widest she could again.
"We need you to keep your eyes open now, Vivien."
She squinted, trying to focus her vision. It was Regulus crouching in some smelly puddle.
"But I'm so tired." She mumbled to him.
"We know that's why Zahara and Dorcas will take you to bed, and there you can sleep it off. Does it sound alright?"
"Yh-ym." She hummed silently, feeling Dorcas and Zahara helping her stand up to her feet. "Can I borrow a wand?"
She asked them, quietly.
"What?" Dorcas brushed the strands of hair off Vivien's face behind her ear.
Vivien surprised them. Not Nolan. Even hammered into the wall, he smirked proud of himself.
Vivien looked around, disoriented. She nearly pushed herself away from the girls, but they held her stronger, seeing she was not able to keep a balance.
"I need to clean. I think I puked."
"There's no need. Someone else will clean it." Zahara assured her.
"No, no. No one can see it. I have to-" She struggled weakly, shaking her head.
"I will clean it for you, Vivien, and I will tell no one." Regulus offered, his tone tender.
"No, no." She protested. "You can't see it either. None can!"
"Come on, Vivien. Regulus is good at keeping secrets. He will keep this one for you." Dorcas tried to calm her down, when she tried to yank herself out.
Vivien paused.
"Does Regulus promise?" She mumbled, gazing at Dorcas.
"Regulus promises." Regulus answered.
Regulus had never before heard Vivien call him just that. Regulus. His birth name.
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ย ย ย ย ย And Regulus lied like everyone else...
Vivien was curled into the ball on the bed in the Hospital, deaf silence surrounding her. It was the sixth day in a row when everything was hurting. But it was slowly going away after Vivien finally let Pomfrey cream the wound on her head and accepted some healing potion.
Vivien felt violated after Madame Pomfrey had touched and examined her wound during the New Year night as she had lost consciousness again.
Vivien had snapped at her, when she woke to Pomfrey touching her to cream the stitched-up wound and changing the dressing. She knew Pomfrey didn't mean harm but it was harmingโher personal space was getting abused again and again.
Vivien was terrorised. She spent her time laying quietly. The only times she saw someone was when Pomfrey would bring her food for her to peck.
Vivien couldn't eat or drinkโher throat growing a lump, her stomach tighteningโwhenever she tried to. She would take a few smallest bites until she had enough and turn away on the other side, studying the white material of the hospital curtains that she kept closed.
From time to time, she heard someone enter the Hospital Wing and she listened to the conversations. Some older girl with a bellyache from her bleeding days. Slughorn with a first-year boy and his deep cut.
Vivien's friends tried to visit herโthe ones that knew the truth and the ones that didn't. They all tried to, but Vivien declined all the visitors after she had waited for her brothers to return to Hogwarts only for them to pressure her into reporting what had happened since she refused to talk to anyone else. She knew McGonagall and prefects told them to talk her into it. They used Vivien's brothers against her! And she refused to see them too.
Vivien stated she was drunk and an accident happened.
Nolan just happened to be there.
She just smashed her head and puked.
That nothing of the violent kind happened.
That it wasn't as dramatic as it seemed.
That it was just an accident.
She didn't care anymore if she would be punished by lying that she broke code, stating she was consuming alcohol. She just wanted all of it to be over and she wanted everyone to fuck off and leave her alone for Merlin sake. McGonagall couldn't alarm the Ministry about the crime if Vivien stated there was no. Vivien knew that. She knew McGonagall couldn't make her tell the truth either. It would all go quiet and Vivien for once wouldn't make a show like her grandma wished for. Like everyone would suspect Vivien to doโdramatise her life and act a victim.
Most of the days, Vivien spent sobbing. Part of her wanted to tell the truth and ruin Nolan like he had ruined her. The other part of her hated sensitive Vivien, who always felt bad for herself like it wasn't all of her fault. Because it was all of her fault and she had the audacity to blame Nolan when she came to him every time, because this time would be different. It never was. He was always rough to the point where she bled for his pleasure and she never liked it.
She was sobbing, when she heard a single pair of light steps echoing through the infirmary.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Mister Black?"
Regulus knew he was obvious and foolish for offering to be the one to bring his notes for Vivien since he didn't even attend all the classes she did or simply because her roommates could collect them for her. Yet, none argued with him after he did offer his help. Pandora, who broke their fake relationship, even encouraged him to visit Vivien. Everyone knew he wanted to check on the young witch, even if it meant only listening to her silence as she lay behind all the curtains, hiding from all the ugly undeserving world.
"Good afternoon, Madam Pomfrey." He greeted, coming closer to the desk at the end of the long room.
He could hear Vivien's sniffing echoing through the room, his heart cracking.
"Good afternoon, Mister Black. Can I help with something?" The lady smiled sadly, knowing he wasn't there to see her with a pile of notes.
"I wanted to leave those for Vivien. If she would like to study or just page through what we were doing this week."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien furrowed her brows. She scrambled on her knees towards the footboard of the bed. She was in no state to study, and it wasn't the notes that intrigued her. She looked through the slim gap between the white curtains to see Black at Pomfrey's desk, handing her the notes that she accepted.
They bowed their heads quietly at each other, and Regulus began walking away. He was walking. Vivien didnโt even have strength for her heart to thud.
Regulus was about to pass the only bed closed with all the curtains until-
"Black?" Vivien's voice was dry. She sniffed with her running nose from all the crying.
He stopped. "Yes, Vivien."
She bit her bottom lip and backed onto her bed to sit with her legs crossed.
For a second there was silence.
"Could you come inside?"
Regulus unsurely looked towards Madam Pomfrey. She was still smiling, when she nodded her head softly, saying that there was nothing against that idea before she returned to writing down whatever she was writing.
Regulus slowly dragged his feet towards the room of white curtains. "Can I?"
He heard Vivien sniff before she hummed, "Yh-ym."
He opened the curtains a little, enough to slip inside the small room where Vivien was hiding. It was only a bed, a small side table with the lunch she pecked on and the chair.
Vivien studied Regulus. He was in his uniform. He came to the Hospital Wing fresh out of the classroom with the school bag still on his shoulder.
Regulus glanced at Vivien. She sat in the middle of her unmade bed, wearing some old stretched-out jumperโprobably from her father or grandfather, and pyjama bottoms. Out of her jumper's sleeves, only her fingers were sticking out. She had wet hair at the end. She was pale, bags under her big eyes, veins were prominent on her unhealthy skin. She had a brownish bruising on her cheek and neck that was about to disappear soon. Across her faceโon her temple, she had a dressing protecting her wound.
And her beautiful eyes were reddish and squinted from crying. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek, when Regulus studied her just the same as she did to him.
He didn't know what to do and they were simply looking at each other. Vivien sniffed.
Regulus wanted to speak up to not make it awkward but he didn't feel so. Vivien kept looking at him blankly, and all the questions in his head seemed too casual. At the same time, all the non-casual questions seemed even worse. If in Vivienโs place, someone asked him how he's feeling, he would probably lose it and go livid. What a fucking stupid question it was slipping on his tongue. He kept his mouth shut.
"Could you tell me what you were doing this week?" Vivien asked after a moment of lingering silenceโit wasnโt awkwardโit would be if Vivien could identify it but because she couldnโt, Regulus didnโt feel awkward either.
Only tense. And he raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"I left the notes with Pomfrey. I can bring them if you prefer to-"
Vivien felt stupid, tears overflowed her eyes and her vision blurred.
Regulus saw that he saddened her as she turned her away, lying down on her side.
"No. I'm sorry. I just-" She began stupidly crying against her will. "It doesn't matter. Sorry. You're busyโyou can go." She wiped her stupid cheeks.
Regulus shook his head softly, realising Vivien felt lonely and was asking for a companion in her loneliness.
"No, no. I'm not busy."
And Vivien felt stupider. She made him stay out of pity.
Regulus would never dare to assume that Vivien would prefer his companion over everyone elseโs.
He knew she had broken down, shouting at McGonagall, after her brothers visited her. Since then she had declined any visitors. He was the first person with whom she interacted with in the last five daysโsince what had happened.
"No, go. Pandora and others are awaiting you, aren't they? I'm sorry. You don't need to stay." She mumbled out, despite how desperately she needed someoneโso desperately that she was crying when Regulus Arcturus fucking Black rejected her company. From all the people...
"No one's waiting for me. I just thought you would prefer to read the material than hear it from me." Regulus reassured and he had a gentle and tender tone that sounded sincere.
"Really?" She sobbed, glancing at him over her shoulder.
"Really." Regulus nodded his head as she was observing him for a sign he was lying.
When she found no, she nodded her head.
Regulus pulled the chair to the bed and laid down his school bag on the ground, sitting down.
Vivien wiped off her face with a sleeve of her jumper, scrambling around to meet Regulus and face him.
Vivien was slowly calming down, while they were looking at each other.
Regulus was quietly talking the whole time. Vivien didn't really listen to whatever class he was talking about. Her eyes travelled on all he was. Black wasn't a lively person. He didn't gesticulate, energised. He talked barely expressively, and it was calming. When he was being his usual selfโso blank and groundedโlike he was rooted.
"Do you want me to show you?" He asked suddenly.
Vivien didn't know what the question was about but nodded her head against the pillow.
Regulus reached to the ground and dug out the Defense against Dark Arts textbook from his bag.
"Can I lay it down?"
Vivien let him as she moved on her mattress to the back.
Regulus glanced at the different chapters, paging through the book.
Vivien observed how he tapped the fingers of his left hand on the mattress, his right hand turning pages.
Regulus stopped paging through the book.
Vivien surprised him. He felt her grasp his hand. No. Maybe a hand was an exaggeration on his behalf. She grasped his pinky and ring fingers softly. He glanced out the corners of his eyes hesitantly.
She held them carefully. He didn't know what to do and pretended to still page through the book, even though he entirely forgot what he was supposed to show her since she caused him to have a heart attack. At least he was in the Hospital Wing already.
Vivien's heart hammered in her chest, trying to break out. She felt fearfulโtouching a boy.
But at the same time, she needed to see if she was as disgusting to someone else as she was to herself.
Regulus didnโt reject her touch. He didnโt grimace. His lips didnโt twist. He didnโt gag, distasted of the girl she was.
He didnโt scrunch his nose like he smelled something stinkyโher. He didnโt treat her like filth on the shoe sole.
Vivien felt her heart steady. She swallowed thickly, her throat dry, her nose watery, her eyes aching.
"I lied to you like you lied to me." She murmured.
"What?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow, pausing paging through the textbook.
"I don't care whatever you are talking about. I wanted to have someone here."
Regulus could tell Vi was less than uninterested in revising the classes of the last five days. She only hummed two times at the most random things in the last ten minutes he talked. He knew she didn't listen to him for a split second.
"Alright." He replied.
"Is it?" She whispered.
"Yes." He whispered back, closing the book with one hand and putting it back in the bag, not wanting to break away her tiny touchโespeically when it seemed to hold some significance to her.
Perhaps, it was the test for herselfโinitiating human touch. Perhaps after what had happened, she feared touch and wanted to see if it was easier for her to touch than being touched. Perhaps, she wanted to see if she was capable of human touch after all.
Vivien's heart ached, her fingers weakly tightening.
Regulus wanted to leave now.
"Could you still stay?" She blurred out, her eyes looking like a cracking glass.
Regulus furrowed his eyebrows, feeling she slightly tensedโprobably the strongest she could in her state.
"I wasn't going anywhere, Vivien." He softened, realising she thought he was packing his bag to leave.
"No?"
"No."
"Does it mean that you will sit with me in silence?"
"Yes." Regulus didn't mind staying silent at all.
"Can I just hold you like that?" Vivien barely whispered it out, and Regulus felt how she caressed his knuckles with her thumb.
He nodded, pulling the chair closer to the bed so he could rest in it without taking his hand away from Vivien.
The corners of Vivien's lips twitched when Regulus spread in the chair, closing his eyes. She moved only a little closer towards him too, closing her eyes as well.
Chapter 44: bruises
Chapter Text
[Major Trigger Warning:ย Sexual Abuse!]
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien sat with Imogen Greenfield on her mattress, leg-crossed, holding each otherโs hands after Vivien offered hers for the poor girl to squeeze on gently. Imogen took them, hostile about being touched.
Imogen had a red face, her big eyes spilling meaningless tears down her cheeks, numb by that moment. Imogen was fifteenโjust like Vivien was when it had happened to her. Imogen was a muggle-born Hufflepuff. She knew Nolan as her housemate. She heard some rumours but they were rumours.
Vivien Beauchรชne had never confirmed such a situation happening that people gossiped around. Imogen and her friends couldn't know that what older girls whispered about Nolan was true. He was always so polite, playful, and cocky. And he was nice and interested in Imogen. Her friends already started dating a year before, and Imogen was always there to watch them leave their dormitory all happy and return squealing in love. She got the attention at the right time from the wrong boy. Just like Vivien had.
Vivien's heart ached when Imogen was sobbing, squeezing her hands gently, so hurting. Her body couldn't bear down the disorientation.
Ambrosie and Freya sat on Pandora's bed, Emmeline leaning against its footboard.
At first, Sybill wanted to massage Imogen's back but she got defensive out of terror. Sybill backed her hand away, but Imogen apologised and asked her to rub her back needing some comfort. Cautiously, she did. Sybill Trelawney would never mean harm but Vivien could understand the horror that Imogen felt at the thought of being touched by anyone else.
Vivien felt fresh rage inside of her boiling her blood.
Imogen wept out what Nolan did to her and Vivien wanted nothing more than to smash his head into the wall until it was all mush. He took advantage of the state he put her in intentionally. This is criminal!
Ambrosie and Freya met poor Imogen accidentally, looking for some book that Freya wanted. Imogen was crying quietly in the darkest corner of the library, hidden behind all the bookshelves. Freya and Imogen were both in their fifth year as Ambrosie would have if he had been born a few months earlier.
"I think you should go to McGonagall and report it. He should take responsibility for his actions." Vivien stated strictly, shaking her head to herself out of disbelief at the lawlessness of that boy.
"But you didn't and he didn't." Imogen sniffed, shaking her head weakly, defensive.
"Because I was stupid." Vivien replied, soon realising how she sounded. "I mean-" She hesitated, closing her eyes. "You're not stupid if you chose not to report, but I personally didn't because I was fucking stupid. I didn't want to cause trouble, Imogen." She was bitter towards herself for that. "But you are not a trouble."
Stupid idiot!, because of Vivien, another girl had to suffer the same faith she did. She saw her friendsโincluding Bambi and Freyaโshare emphatic glances, telling her she was not stupid for making the decision she had. Perhaps she wasn't or perhaps she was, but surely, if she did report, no other girl would had to endure the pain she lived in that tortured her every day.
"You can't seriously expect me to report, can you, Vivien?" Imogen frowned, taking her hands, upset. "I'm just some teenage muggle-born witch. It won't do anything. At best, they will take my statement. Aurors have hands full of work with real dark wizards. God, if my parents ever found out about this..." She sobbed, her eyes overflowed with tears of guilt.
"I can't bring that shame to them. They were so proud of me from the day I got a letter to study here, hoping that I would have a better life than them. They hoped I wouldn't have to save every shilling." She began crying all over again, and Sybill took her into her arms.
Vivien tilted her head, feeling foolish that she had unintentionally hurt the girl. She wasn't the best at wording her thoughts.
"Imogen, I will support you in whatever decision you make and I will never ever judge you." She assured. "I'm not in your place anymore, and I could never tell you what to do."
Imogen sniffed, trying to calm herself. She glanced at Vivien from Sybillโs arms.
"You're not in my place and never were, Vivien. I am in your place! I am you. If I ever reported, I would only do it with you. I can't do it alone. I'm sorry, but I won't. Only with you together could I expect a fair trial, Vivien."
Vivien's heart stopped at such a suggestion. I? Reporting?
At least, it felt like it with how her chest hurt or it could be a heart attack.
Vivien never thought about reporting what had happened after her grandmother had ridiculed her and the pathetic letter she had sent to her mother about her first unfortunate time that the old hag got a hold of instead. The pathetic letter with blurred letters, after Vivien had cried at the parchment, writing it. The pathetic letter, where she had asked her mother for help butโas usualโnever received it. Instead her own grandmother laughed at her and told her that since she wanted to dress like a whore, she was mistaken for one and used like one.
Maybe if what happened, happened a week earlier, Vivien would had made a different decision. Humiliated orโin her grandmother's opinionโhumble she would make the right decision. But Vivien was venomous.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus and his friends sat in his and Evan's dormitory, spread around the coffee table like a plague, all deep in their thoughts. Regulus was petting Clรฉmentine lying on his laps. She had wandered back to him after her adventures that day.
After dinner, Pandora didn't want to go back to her dormitory, where Vivien invited the poor girl along with Ambrosie and Freya. She didn't want to interrupt a personal moment after Vivien pointed her hand towards the Great Hall doorway and left without another word, not sparing a single look to anyone.
Pandora, Regulus, Barty, Dorcas, and Evan had no words. No one knew what to say. Everyone heard the different rumours or worseโwitnessed one scene. At that moment, there was silence that they never heard. And they sat in it until there was a soft knock on the door.
Evan leaped to his feet and the rest turned their heads once he opened the door slightly.
"Is Regulus here?" Vivien's voice.
It was newโin the last four months Regulus didn't remember a single time she knocked on the door instead of walking into his dormitory like it was her own room.
"He is." Evan responded, not masking his bewilderment, thinking it was unusual behaviour for Vi. Everyone did, raising their brows.
"Could he come over here?"
Regulus handed Cassie the little princess and stood up from the armchair before Evan even glanced at him over his shoulder. Regulus took Evan's place and Vivien faced him. Regulus examined her. She didn't seem hurt. She didn't seem shocked. She didn't seem petrified.
"Regulus," She said firmly, confident in her decision.
"Vivien?"
"If I do this, everyone will know what happened." She stated. "Everyone will know what happened to me. If I do this, your shit-eating friends will know that you weren't my first, and I wasn't touched by you as the first and only."
Regulus' head ached. He frowned, disturbed.
"What are you even talking about, Vivien?" He asked, unsettled that she even said such things.
"If I accuse Nolan of an assault publicly, your eating-shite friends will know you weren't the first to fuck me."
To begin with, Regulus never fucked Vivien! She fucked him!
His heart cracked.
"That's what you worry about, Vivien?" He didn't care about that. Such a disgusting thought never crossed his mind. He hadn't looked at it from such a perspective ever before and it was sad that Vi didโbut what was worse, she was right.
Those people were disgusting enough to hear her confess the most traumatic things she experienced at the hands of another boy and all they would hear was how dirty of a girl she was.
The young couple gazed intensely at each other, a weight of the world resting on their shoulders trying to drag them down and bury them six feet under. Regulus contemplated Vi. She was blank but serious.
Regulus didn't fucking care about those disgusting people.
"Vi, I swear I will execute the sentence on a greater justice for its sins against you with my bare hands. All of those sick people can go and fuck themselves." They probably really should with how their frustrations were showing in their treatment of Vi! "If you're ready to face Nolan, Vi, I support you. I can hold your hand. I can fuck him up, if you ask me." He swore as seriously.
"Do you promise, Regulus?" She asked softer and bit on her bottom lip, letting him see that there were still nerves involved.
"I wouldn't dare not to." Regulus assured, smiling faintly.
It was all Vivien needed to hear. She nodded her head and he leaned towards her, leaving a small kiss on her forehead like a crownโnot for her to wear it proudlyโbut for her to see he was proud of her.
Then without another word, Vivien walked away to wherever she came from. And Regulus closed the door when she was out of his sight.
All Vi needed was to know Regulus still didn't look down on her like a dirty girl everyone else would see in her.
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ย ย ย ย ย Professor McGonagall sat at the desk, filling out the last document until she heard a knock on her office door. She checked the clock. Half past nine. When she got up to open the door, she suspected to see one of the prefects with some troublemakers.
Vivien saw how Professor McGonagall pressed her eyebrows, seeing her and Imogen.
"Beauchรชne, Greenfield," She said, surprised, probably not suspecting the two knew each other.
She was right. If it wasn't for the one accidental factor in their lives, Vivien and Imogen would never meet. Imogen would recognise Vivien by name and Vivien would recognise Imogen by faceโbut nothing more. Yet, they knew one of the darkest parts of their lives now.
"Can I help you with something, girls?" Minverva asked, the younger girl looking fatigued from the New Year party students organised.
"Yes," Imogen nodded her head.
Vivien felt how she squeezed her hand nervously, tense, holding on to her.
Minerva observed Imogen's eyes turning teary. She looked at Vivien, softening in worrisome.
"We wanted to report a violation of a school code. A crime." Crimes, to be honest!
Vivien didn't feel nervous. She got used to the thought of what had happened to her. She came to terms with what really had happened to her during the fifth year of school. It was hard to accept that she was a victimโthat she was weak and dependent at one point in her life.
She was raped and abused. She let that happen. She provoked it.
She didn't. The rational half of Vivien, who oftentimes was dominated by the irrational one, knew it was never her fault. But she was so used to always blaming herself that there were moments when she even thought of Nolan as her victim. As if she awakened in him the worst instincts to hunt her down like prey and hurt her. She was the issue.
Vivien was taught to always apologise to a beast after it bit her.
At first, she refused to believe she was a victim. She refused to see herself as one. But from the second she looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom of her dormitory one evening and noticed that little Vivien she just was, she had never stopped seeing that poor little Vivien and she accepted the truth.
Because it hurt to know how much Vivien had given up on that childโherself. Vivien never deserved that and it caused her heart and head acheโin sorrow, pity, and grief. From that second she accepted she was a victim and not an evil person, sickly victimising herself.
During last year all Vivien had dreamed of was for Nolan to say sorry. She only wanted him to express that he was sorry for what he did and that there was some remorse in his body that could fit into his pinky finger at least. Just that little. She wanted him to express for a single second that he was sorry for what he did. She wanted him to express that he was aware of what he had done and that it was wrong.
When Vivien was passed a note or sent a letter unexpectedly, she would sometimes catch herself thinking it was from him. She would imagine opening it to find a single piece of parchment with the word sorryโnothing more. Just one single sorry to help her accept it wasn't her fault. But Nolan never apologised. To the end, he blamed her, convincing her time after time that she could do something to save herself from his mistreatmentโthat if she was different, he would be different towards her too.
Not only didn't he apologise but he hurt another girl in the worst way he could fathom.
McGonagall's lips tightened, her face collapsing with her strict faรงade.
Vivien sadly nodded her head to confirm her worst fears.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't speak with anyone since she returned to her own dormitory after walking Imogen to hers to make sure she was safe. She didn't get a wink of sleep in her own bed. Still, she didn't feel overwhelmed in the darkness and silence of the night, her mind blank like she felt.
She knew in the morning the shite would go mad after McGonagall sent an owl with a letter to the Ministry, asking for intervention.
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ย ย ย ย ย That wasn't the beginning of the new year that Gideon and Fabian Prewett had planned, entering their office after the Christmas break they had spent with their parents, pregnant sister, her quirky husband, three little nephews, and the herd that the whole Weasley family was.
Crouch Sr. assigned them with an urgent report from Hogwarts. whatever that meant.
Fabian rolled his eyes, saying the old man was actually getting older if he thought they had no other work to do than arrest a student for stealing a quill. When they stepped out of the fireplace at Dumbledore's office, they saw the headmaster himself and Professor McGonagall. They were awaiting them with serious faces. Prewetts looked at each other, feeling like they were about to get reprimanded for yet another joke of theirs.
"It's nice to see you, Professors," Fabian smirked.
Gideon offered a hand to Professor McGonagall, Fabian exchanging the same gesture with Dumbledore.
"I'm sure you missed the school dearly, Mister Prewett." The headmaster welcomed warmly.
"Truly, we did." Gideon claimed playfully, their hands parting.
"It didn't miss you as much." Minerva smiled but Gideon could tell it was a sad gesture. "I'm glad to see you both boys, but I'm sorry it's under those circumstances."
"I'm sorry, but we weren't really told what those circumstances were. Did someone set a toilet on fire again and call it a fire crotch?" Fabian tilted his head, humoured at the memory.
"None managed to outdo you two, although I might admit that Mister Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew worked hard for it."
"How are they? The Marauders, do I remember correctly?" Gideon asked.
"I set them up for failure. Potter's in the position of the Head boy this year. He took it to heart." McGonagall told, nearly delighted with herself-
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ย ย ย ย ย Fabian wasn't in the mood for jokes after Gideon and he were introduced to the case and situation,ย walking through the corridors now, following McGonagall into the Hospital Wing.
"Vivien?" Gideon couldn't believe it.
"Yes," Minerva answered.
"Beauchรชne?"
"Yes." She repeated.
"A year ago? Why weren't we informed immediately?"
Fabian was growing frustrated, keeping Minerva's pace.
"She refused to talk. She wasn't ready and I couldn't force the truth out of her, could I?" McGonagall glanced at him on her side, his twin brother on her other one.
"Do you think she's actually ready now? Is Imogen ready at all? Or are they building their confidence one on another?"
"I think Vivien might be but Imogenโit seems this poor girl is putting all her faith in Vivienโthat she might be able to win justice for both of them. Can you imagine? Those girls didn't know each other the day before yesterday and now they are bonded forever because of such a thing." McGonagall said with a heavy heart that was sinking in an ocean of pity.
"Do you think Vivien is able to win justice for both of them, Professor?"
McGonagall silently entered the Hospital Wing, walking towards the end of the hall, where Madam Pomfrey sat at her desk. She smiled, seeing the two graduatesโnow adults.
"Prewetts, I hope you're not here with another burn from yet another fire toilet." She commented, handing McGonagall a file.
Fabian and Gideon smiled like the two boys they used to be.
"Madam Pomfrey," They both bowed their heads politely.
McGonagall accepted the file, soon offering it to Prewetts.
"I'm certain that with good motivation Vivien is able to win enough justice for her and Imogen to share, if Imogen won't be able to fight for her own." McGonagall said.
Gideon accepted the other file. The one he already held was full of statements and reports from Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, and the prefects. The dates were from a year before. He opened the other file and paged through it, his eyebrows knitting together softly. It was documents describing some minor injuries Vivien had come with to Pomfrey. Mostly bruises, shallow bites, and deep scratches.
"Is it-"
"All from the moment Vivien visited me for the first time to confess that some boy forced her to perform sexual activities. They stop at the beginning of December until the night of an assault." Pomfrey said.
"Imogen claims Nolan O'Sullivan forced himself on her for the first time. I examined her as much as she felt comfortable with. Here is the medical report. She was poisoned with the alcohol and is still recovering from it." She handed Fabian the piece of parchment.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien got up early on the last day of winter break, all the younger students returning to Hogwarts, including her younger brothers.
She sneaked all around the corners of the Hufflepuff common room to not meet the wrong person until she entered Imogen's and her roommate's dormitory. From what Vivien made out, Imogen didn't have friends at her own house, only at Gryffindor. Her roommate had a totally different taste, being friends with some Slytherins. Imogen's roommate bowed her head at Vivien, quietly preparing for her day, even if the dormitory was dark.
Imogen was still in her bed. Vivien approached her bed, hearing her sniffing. She crouched down.
"Shhh." She laid her hand in the girl's hair, brushing them to the back. "It's alrightโlet it out, sweetie. Let it all out."
Imogen was curled into the ball and she broke out into desperate cries for help.
"Everyone will know what happened if I do this. My friends-they say others might not believe me because everyone saw me partying with him! Drinking with him... I'm not even sixteen yetโmy parents would have had to be present... They would have to listen. I can't. Vivien, I can't do it." She wept, and Vivien looked at Imogen's roommate.
She was smiling sadly and they shared a look.
"I just can't, Vivien."
"I believe you." Her roommate murmured before disappearing inside the bathroom to give the two needed privacy.
Her words caused Imogen to sob out.
Vivien laid her hand on her cheek, stroking it softly.
"I know." She whispered.
Vivien didn't suspect Imogen to be ready even if she claimed she should do this in the first place.
"But I'm proud of you. You reported. It will be in his records until you are ready for a trial, Imogen. You did something brave. Until you're ready, I will make sure he will be rotting in Azkaban, thinking about us every day until his last one, while we will wake one morning and since that one morning, we will never think about him ever again."
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ย ย ย ย ย Professor Flitwick found Vivien in one of the Hufflepuff dormitories.
As she was walking with him and Imogen through the Hufflepuff common room, she heard Nolan.
"Am I arrested? For what?"
Imogen lowered her head, sensing the attention from other teenagers that were gathering around the whole scene.
Vivian looked over her shoulder. She saw the Prewett twins and Professor Sprout at the door of Nolan Sullivan's dormitory. His eyes met hers and he scoffed in disbelief. Adults looked to the back, where Vivien was marching silently with Flitwick towards the common room main doorway.
"You're not arrested, Nolan." Hopefully, only not yet. "Misters Prewett wants to ask you a few questions in private." Sprout said, students lurking from behind their dormitories doors.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was sitting in a room similar to the one she had sat in during the summer, if not exactly the same one.
On her way, Vivien passed various office rooms. In one, she saw Frank Longbottom discussing something with old Shacklebolt and Moody. The three of them were too occupied to notice her walking by Gideon's side. Somewhere behind them were Fabian and Nolan followingโat a safe distance away from her.
Now Vivien sat, tapping her foot, unnerved. She wasn't stressed about the questions or Nolan. She was stressed to finally speak out loud for people to hear her describing such repulsive things. It was no surprise to her when Gideon informed her that another auror had been sent to find Imogen's parents.
By the definition of the law, Imogen was still a child and her parents had to be present during the interrogation. Since she already reported even if she chose to keep her mouth shut, Nolan could be accused of an assault on the minor with all the evidence collected against him after he was legally an adult because of his eighteenth birthday he had during the Christmas break.
Gideon and Vivien gazed at each other. He was standing over the table and smiled faintly,
"Before we start, tell me, Vivien. Do you want me to contact someone for you? I can send someone to your mother. She still stays at Black's with Eden, doesn't she? It's not permitted since you're sixteen but it's no problem if you need-"
Vivien shook her head
"No. I don't want to bring my mama into it. She would be no help here anyway."
Gideon tilted his head.
"Well then, do you want me to contact someone else then? Don't you have an aunt? A cousin? Or a family friend?"
"No. Not really. All that's left are my brothers. And if there was more left, they wouldn't like me anyway." She chuckled bitterly.
"Surely, there has to be someone you would like to hold your hand or to see once you leave through that door." He insisted, meaning only the best.
Vivien sighed, "Quite a few people, but I doubt you can have a group of people wander all over here."
"Not a group but like one or two people. Just tell me a single name." Prewett said, his tone tender.
Vivien didn't know if she had the right to ask for this, but she still did. After five minutes, Gideon returned for good, followed by two cups floating after him.
"Done." He sat down on the opposite side of the table from Vivien and laid down two files on the wooden table. The cups landed each one on the sideโone for VIvien, one for him.
"So you know the deal, Vivien. You came here voluntarily. You are sixteenโit was your right to decide. You are here to answer some questions to help us understand your statement of accusation against Nolan O'Sullivan. You are here because you agreed to come, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable, we can take a break or finish, and you can leave. Do you understand, Vivien?"
The witch had dรฉjร vu at the little formula aurors they had to recite from heart every time they were interrogating someone.
"Yes, I do understand." She nodded her head.
"As you already know the wall is see-through but only for people standing on the other side of it. Now there's Fabian behind it. He's there with Frank Longbottom. There is also the same nice lady, who noted our conversation back in July last year. She is there to do the exact same now."
"I understand." Vivien repeated.
Gideon bowed his head and reached for one of the files, opening it to look at the documents inside.
"So, tell me what happened on the night of December 31st, 1976?"
Vivien closed her eyes and inhaled the deepest breath she could to let go of the nerves.
She tried to gather herself and keep herself grounded.
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ย ย ย ย So many questions.
Every question Gideon asked was replaced by a new one.
"What do you think of, Gideon?"
"I'm going to be clear with you, Vivien. Our first step in situations like those is to collect every piece of evidence we can. Unfortunately, there are rarely any, which is why reports like those are tricky to work on. But we collected all we could. Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, and your peers made sure to note down the reports from the night of the assault and keep them safe. Some of them will be asked in the role of witnesses. But when we came to Madame Pomfrey for a medical report of your injuries from that night, we found more than we asked for. Your medical history. During the three months from the beginning of October to the end of December of 1976, we counted seven other medical reports, mostly of bruises, cuts, scratches, and bites. But one of them describes vaginal bleeding and the other describes a neck injury. In Madame Pomfrey's notes, all of them were called accidents. You called those wounds accidents but if you're comfortable with it, can you please elaborate for me on how one can get vaginal bleeding, tearing, and bruising inside on accident? You were on an edge of infection, unable to sit without pain, unimaginable soreness, and stinging with every movement of your lower body."
Vivien didn't blink even when Gideon mentioned her medical history.
She wasn't surprised that he did. And she told the truth.
"Nolan gave it to meโafter he forced me to participate in a sexual act with him."
"What exactly do you mean when you say force?"
"Nolan pushed me down on him after he demanded for me to sit naked on him and I told him I didnโt want to continue because it was hurting me. He was naked too. Then he moved my body how he pleased. I cried for him to stop until I was aching too much. I was counting down every second until he would be finished with me."
"What about the neck injury, Vivien?"
"It was another time. It hurt again. My muscles in the lower body began closing. It was frustrating Nolan. He pushed me off from the top of him and grabbed my neck. He pushed my cheek into the mattress of his bed, doing with my body what he wanted, when his hand was locked around my neck. I cried begging for him to stop. Instead he put all the pressure and weight of his body on my neck. I felt something snap when he was gripping on me. I felt my head turn light and body turn weak from pain as he did what he liked the mostโmade me bleed down there. After the sexual act, he told me to keep that bruising in the shape of his hand. To show it off to all the other boys that and I quote, wanted to fuck me. And I did. I put my hair high, showing off the bruises to everyone, my neck hurting like it was broken. I showed it to the whole school, to the professors, to other students, to my friends, and to my brothers."
"And none reacted?"
"Everyone whispered. Zahara Hassani asked me about it. I told her, we liked it rough. But honestly I didn't like a single thing Nolan did, including being himself. It took me some time to understand but now I finally do. I understand why he had to pretend to be someone else at first. Someone nice. Obviously, he had to. My neck was hurting and it wasn't going away so I just went to Madame Pomfrey. She told me my neck was injured. I don't know. I'm not really a healer, but that's what I've made out of it. And I told her, it was just an accident. Nolan was just an accident."
"Those bites, cuts-"
"Just scratches, no cuts."
"Right. Those bites, scratches, and bruises?"
"It was all Nolan. He was slapping until my skin burned and smacking until my bones ached. He was biting and scratching until it all hurt enough for me to cry for him to stop, only for him to continue. And if I didn't cry, he would always continue until I finally did and longer. He would call me names and he would tell me I didn't even deserve all he gave me, when all he gave me was pain. He made sure everything would hurt. My body, my head, and my heart."
"Vivien, believe me when I say I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but in cases like yours I have to ask that. Why didn't you come forward sooner?"
Vivien shrugged her shoulders.
"I thought it was how it was supposed to be. I was there to give pleasure to a boy. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Gideon. In my home I wasn't taught about my body or a boy's body when I was younger. I didn't have the talk when I hit a certain age. All I was raised to be was a fool. A silly goose unaware of boys. Of men. I was raised by my grandma to be a fool and a pathetic failure. And I was. And when I was, she laughed in my face after she received the letter I sent to my mother about my first time, where I described how I was raped. She laughed into my face, calling me a whore wearing whorish clothes and being treated like one of my whorish kind. I was left alone with that, and I didn't understand what was happening and why it was happening to me because when I asked my mother for help in that letter, I got nothing. After over two horrible months of sexual abuse, when I came home for a break, I was ridiculed there. So when I returned to Hogwarts to being raped again, I thought it was my fault. Some lost part of me thought I forced Nolan to rape me. Can you even imagine? Forcing someone to rape you?"
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ย ย ย Fabian and Frank observed Vivien lean towards Gideon, who observed her eyes turn watery. Vivien chuckled through her pain. None else laughed. Fabian and Frank looked at each other.
"You knew about the assault the whole time?" Prewett asked.
Longbottom sighed.
"Of course I do. I was the Head boy at the time."
"And you just moved on?" It wasn't a judgementโit was a concern. His eyebrows knitted.
"None just moved on. We were all shocked and it still makes me sick. All of this. Everyone could tell Vivien has become a different person. She was always a little devilโyou know it yourself. Butโand I mean itโshe was always shy about boys. She was ashamed when any boy teased her or when someone teased her about a boy. She never confessed to fancying anyone nor went on a single date until her fifth year either. Imagine this is the very first boy she dated. Anyone could tell he was changing her. At first, she became aware of her flirt. She became suggestive but blunt at the same time. I remember the bruise incident. It's trueโeveryone began whispering after breakfast, stupefied with how obscene it was. By lunch it was gone and her hair was down. She appeared less confident and more anxious. I don't think she realised at first how truly degrading it was until Zahara talked to her. It was clear she was more and more self-conscious. But I think none wanted to accept the thought that something was wrong."
"It was easier to believe teenagers were teenagers."
"Exactly. But then... Vivien lost her sparkle. She was not-so-flirty anymore, only sexual. She was keeping to herself to the point where it was obvious she was avoiding people. I heard some fifth years calling her a crybaby at the time because she fell apart during a class for no reason. And I kept an eye on her. It wasn't that she would break down in misery. No. Her eyes would water on their own when she would do her homework, eat her meal, read her book, or draw because of how much her body hurt. Lily and Remus were the ones to try and face her about it because everyone was worried. Obviously, something was wrong, and she would just argue that it's nothing. And someone may think we had every sign to see what was wrong and we chose to turn a blind eye but we didn't. We were a bunch of kids. She was a kid. It wouldn't cross anyone's mind that such a thing would be happening in a castle full of kids. Can you imagine how sickening it truly is? She would cry for it to stop and behind the wall, some twelve-year-olds would be doing transfiguration for McGonagall. She was in a castle full of people and there was none to help her."
Frank's stomach tightened.
"I love Vivi. She's one of the best friends anyone can have, always making people feel as if they were old friends with how indifferently she treats everyone. So many people love Vivi for who she is, but it's not the same Vivi we all fell in love with. Because Nolan ruined the innocent soul and spirit she had. She's not wasted potential by any means because I can tell you, this Vivi that sits here won't give up on herself like Vivi from a year ago had. This Vivi will make everything out of herself and more. I can tell you that from now on there is only one option for everyone, and that is to respect her."
Fabian tilted his head.
"What do you think about her and Black's engagement? Is this Vivien there a product of his work?"
"Fabian, I can tell you a lot about Regulus Black and the Black family from Sirius but one thing I can assure you of is that Regulus wouldn't hurt that girl. Engagementโsure, it's bogus. But of all the bratty whims that Black brothers are full of, Vivien isn't one of them. She bullied that poor boy and he was going back and forth to buy her the nicest Valentine's gift at which Sirius laughed his arse off."
"I remember how she threw a dungbomb into little Black's school bag. That one got ugly." Prewett cracked.
"And he still bought her a teddy bear for Valentine's Day two weeks later that she almost beat the shite out of." Longbottom chuckled.
"I don't understand one thing."
"Which is?" Frank quirked an eyebrow.
"Before we brought Vivien in here during summer, we went back and forth with you, you all agreed she hates little Black's guts after there was some joke, some drama, and some public humiliation involved?"
"Um," Frank cringed. "Yeah, nah. It was actually the other Black to humiliate her with a joke, not even worth quoting. Alice told me how it really was. With the rest, she was covering for Sirius. Not so good because Vivien dropped their friendship anyway. As much as I love Alice, I can tell you they were all wrong for this one."
"Wait, but weren't your Alice like friends with that little redhead Lily?" Fabian abstracted, distracted, his eyes closing in a thought.
"Still is."
"And wasn't Potter heads over heels for her going mad. She always found him annoying or something like that? Don't tell me that Potter and Black aren't friends anymore, because I won't believe you."
"They are. It's just like a long time ago and not true kind of thing between James and Lils now. I mean James's still mental over Lily but they are together now. It's been a month now and she hasn't broken up with him yet, so he's already looking for an engagement ring." Frank chuckled.
Fabian shook his head to himself.
"Merlin. I feel old. I remember watching you all, little idiots, throwing food at each other. Times fly when you're a piece of shite. So, Frank, what do you look for then? An engagement ring? Or for a new girlfriend?" He nudged.
"What if I told you I already have one?"
"New girlfriend or the engagement ring?" Fabian raised his eyebrows, amused.
"Both."
Fabian's mouth opened widely in surprise. He hit Frank on the shoulder with his fist.
"Oh, shite? Are you serious?" He asked, grinning.
"I've proposed on Christmas to Allie. I guess I don't have a girlfriend anymore. I've got a fiancรฉe now. A new one and a first one at that. The only one and the last one, of course." Frank announced with a proud smile.
"And you didn't say a word. Congratulations, you git. I hope you will have a better memory when it comes to wedding invitations." Fabian mocked.
"Excuse me, but if you didn't notice there wasn't really a good moment today to brag, git. I would ask you what you are looking for too, but I know there are not many girls in your life."
"You meant there are too many." He smirked.
"Yes because you can't keep a single one so poor things come and go." He elbowed him.
"But how nicely they come before they go." Fabian wiggled his eyebrows.
Frank rolled his eyes. "Merlin, shut-"
The lady cleared her throat, putting an end to aurorsโ clownery, making them look at her. She stood up, straightening her dress suit.
"They're done." She said, collecting her documentation of the interrogation.
Frank and Fabian looked at the room that Gideon and Vivien were slowly leaving.
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ย ย ย Prewett held the door open for Vivien, She stepped outside the room.
Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey awaited her.
She was chewing on her bottom lip, stressed, doubtful they would come for her until she actually saw them. They stood up from their chairs, seeing her.
Vivien stopped for a split second in disbelief before she marched towards them, throwing herself into McGonagall's arms. Minerva's lips parted but she responded to Vivien's hug, smiling. She and Madame Pomfrey glanced at each other. Poppy laid her hand on Vivien's back, rubbing it.
In the meantime, the nice lady, Fabian, and Frank left the other room. They all could hear Vivien sniff.
"Thank you."
"Always, my child." Minerva whispered.
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ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne was marching mechanically through the castle, passing students. She knew it was time for the New Year feast with all the students reunited, including her younger brothers, but she wasn't hungry. Another day was Wednesday, the first day of classes, and she didn't feel prepared for it. It was such an unreal experienceโthe day she spent pouring her trauma out.
And the next day, just like that, she had classes to attend. It felt so unreal that she didn't even see her friends that day. All she saw were Professors, Aurors, Frank, Imogen, and Nolanโwho shot her one long dagger of glare, standing at the same door he would block so she couldn't run out of his dormitory, where he tore her spirit and soul piece by piece until every part of her ached.
She rushed towards the Ravenclaw Tower, hoping to avoid everyone. She stepped into the quiet common room and slowly dragged her feet towards the Rowena Ravenclaw statuette until in one corner, where a fireplace stood, she found her friends.
Fraya was sitting on Ambrosie's laps in an armchair and he was hugging her softly. On the sofa, Cassie, Aurora, Barty, and Evan sat almost on top of one another. It was tight. Cassie sat with her legs spread, keeping Barty from spreading his longer legs. On his side sat Aurora, with her head laid on his shoulder. And on Cassie's side sat Evan, slouchy with his elbows on his knees, Cas rubbing his back. In another armchair, Sybie and Emma sat in a similar position to Freya's and Ambriosie's, like to tease them, Em holding small Bibie on her laps.
And in the middle of that stood Regulus, leaning his hand on the fireplace mantle, observing the flames.
Vivien stopped, her steps soundless. She watched all of her friends. What dramatic pricks Blacks are! Vivien always thought Sirius was dramatic to the point of being theatrical, but the more she was surrounded by the Black family, the more she noticed it was all of them. As if Regulus' body had a sixth sense for Vi's eyes touch, her gaze tracing his posture, he looked from the flames.
He saw her standing away. He straightened, breaking the dramatic silence they sat in, awaiting her.
"Hi,"
Everyone's head snapped in the direction of Vivien. She seemed fine with her arms folded over her shoulder, staring at them quite judgmental.
"Hi?" She raised her eyebrows.
Perhaps they shouldn't do such a dramatic act of support, but they were sickly worried after the rumours circled the castle.
The rumours of a drama big enough to involve aurors went around by the end of breakfast feast. None knew what to expect. None knew in what state Vivien would be.
Now she came closer, wearing yet another pair of black cigarette trousers, a dark blue polo neck, and black loafers. Her hair was in her style tied by blue ribbons. She looked around her friends, taking a seat on the armrest beside Rora.
"How are you, Vivi?" Freya asked.
She was already a part of the family. Vivien smiled tightly at her friend, her stomach hurting from sickness due to stress.
"Truthfully, not thriving."
"What happened?" Ambrosie tilted his head.
"Frank said that Nolan was released from jail until the trial. Actually, no. He was never taken in. He had the right to contact somebody and he contacted his father. And that one contacted a defender, a legal representative, or whatever. She pulled some strings at the Ministry and until the trial Nolan is a free man." She elaborated, numb at the thought.
Vivien knew that sooner or later everyone would find out what all that stinky shite was about. When she was hugging Frank [to his surpriseโVivien's affection was everyone's surpriseโusually none to one person privileged to it], he told her that Imogen's parents came. They were devastated. And Professor McGonagall added that they took Imogen out of school for a few days after she refused to testify. And Prewetts told her the situation she was in with Nolan.
He was not arrested, and they couldn't do anything about it. Nolan was claiming innocence. Obviously, he is! O'Sullivan's defenderโLady Ashcroftโthreatened to sue the Department of Law for unfair imprisonment once she would prove the accusations to be false.
Vivien sighed, "They warned me that if I really decided for the trial, I had to be prepared that Lady Ashcroft would tear me piece by piece all over again. They say she has something from a vampire with that need for blood. I think her grandma from her father's side was one."
"But-but are you going to decide on the trial?" Evan asked hesitantly, his soft eyes meeting hers.
She shrugged her shoulders.
"I've already decided on it, Evan. I'm going for all of it or nothing. They've already set a date for Friday." She looked at others. "Cassie and Barty will get information with obligation as witnesses tomorrow. Zahara too, for sure. And other prefects but I don't know which one."
"What about me? I was there too." Regulus furrowed his eyebrows, everyone's eyes on him.
"Gideon and Fabian don't think it's a good idea because of our relationship. Too close. And you're too influenced to stay objective. It's already risky because of how many prefects I am friends with, and Ashcroft will try to abolish their objectivity. But it's not like I chose who would like me four years ago, thinking who could testify in my favour whether I was raped or not." She joked dryly and none laughed.
"How much did you tell them?" Sybill bit at her bottom lip.
Vivien lowered her head, watching her hands. "Everything."
"Everything about that night?"
"Everything about my and Nolan's relationship. Prewett pulled out my medical history from Madame Pomfrey from the first semester of my fifth year because it said a lot about that relationship. I knew she kept all of it saved. I knew that she would, as McGonagall would, saving the files on what I've called an incident but it feels like I don't deserve what they did." She mumbled out, her eyes overflowing after such an overwhelming day
"Vivi, McGonagall and Pomfrey had the best intentions at heart. McGonagall saved our statements, hoping one day you would need them when you were ready. Not to violate your privacy." Dorcas assured.
Vivien looked up at her with teary eyes.
"That's what I mean, Cassie. It doesn't feel like I deserve all the things they did for me. Somewhere inside, it still feels like I did everything to deserve what only Nolan did."
Aurora hooked her arm around Vivien's waist, bringing her down to her laps to embrace her, everyone else sick to their stomach.
"Because all you were taught to do is hurt, Vivien, but the truth is you were never created to be hurt."
Chapter 45: se-xu-al!
Notes:
โโโโเญจเงโโโโACKNOWLEDGEMENTโโโโเญจเงโโโโ
first of all, I want to say that this book is not meant to encourage anyone to do anything they aren't ready for. opposite of it actually. Vivien's oversexualization which she does on her ownโis intentional bcs I've seen so many portrayals of victims of SA where they were sex-repulsed and touch-repulsed, when the thing isโtrauma is a 'spectrum'. some victims are repulsed, avoiding touch, but on the other side of the spectrum are victims who are sex-repulsed too, but they will build up their self-image based on their [hyper]sexuality and their sexual attractiveness.
this is not their fault. the only people at fault for it are the ones capable of hurting someone in such selfish ways. hypersexuality is the victim's brain trying to cope with what they went through, trying to resonate with it, and trying to get them through the trauma [which obviously can cause more traumaโlike it does to Vi too]. another thing is that a lot of teenage girls sexualize and adultify [is it a word?] themselves on their own, which is a response to social standards, boys' expectations, etc. i want to emphasise that personally, I thinkโyes, I wrote about Vivien and Regulus losing their virginities soon [both at 15]. I know that everyone always says 'there is no perfect age/time to be ready'. The thing is, Vivien weren't ready and that's why she was hurt. If you ever went through something similiar, I pray for youโbecause it was never ever your fault, and I hope you know it, and I wish you get the help and support you deserve.
other thing is, Vivien does not use sex as self-harm [when she attempts to it is very clearly written]. she uses sex as someone with needs that were awakened in her possibly too soon. still, she uses sex to reclaim her autonomy. where the smut is, there is her actual desire, though she might be too aware of her sexuality so soon in life. but safe sex with Regulus is her comfort and coping mechanism to reclaim her body, her autonomy, her sexuality, and make her sex hers, not Regulus' [a boy's]. ofc, she takes in consideration his pleasure but most importantly she takes herself in consideration, which she haven't done before.
On the other side of note when we talk about consensual sexual activitiesโfor me it's never too late to lose virginity. 16, 18, 21, 23, 27, 35โthere is not such a thing as being too old to be a virgin. but sometimes it is too soon to not be a oneโmostly because of one's knowladge and understanding on consent, protective methods, importance of protected sex, risks ect. you don't have to do something because your friends and their partners do. and there are always sexual activities that you can participate in with yourself only if you're really horny. It's not embarrassing to masturbate or own sex toys. it's a better way to explore your sexuality because you have time to meet your body properly and what you like and don't like. this note is not meant to shame or make uncomfy anyone, but to assure anyoneโwho is struggling with sex thatโit's okay. you are going to be okay, even if it might not feel like it rn. despite how our society [or my smutty ff] is constructed, life doesn't revolve around sex.
Chapter Text
[Major Trigger Warning:ย Sexual Abuse!]
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne felt so unreal. Reality felt so unreal. Is it all happening or am I losing my head?
From the morning another day, it was obvious that Nolan would not give in easily. He would ruin even the little that was left to see Vivien numb.
She was walking towards the library during the lunch break to borrow the book she needed for her Muggle Studies homework. The library was across the hallโVivien saw the doors of the library, standing at the top of the last set of stairs. It is so reachable! Just straight ahead of her. Achievable. She slowly dragged her feet watching her steps.
The Hall was deserted by the hyenas that other teenagers wereโฆ until Vivien heard quick steps, running down the steps after her. She assumed it was some younger student. But she felt a hand on her forearm, fingers drilling into her muscles. She was yanked and forced to face Nolan. He was red out of rage.
Vivienโs heart thudded and she felt light-headed.
"What the fuck did you do, you fucking whore?!" He gritted through his teeth.
She looked up at him with her round terrified eyes.
Vivien knew Regulus was after her but the professors tried their best to keep them apart. She wouldn't suspect Nolan to follow her. She only left Binns' classroom after History to get the book... How long has he been following me? Was he sneaking somewhere around the classroom? What if I left for the toilet during class? Her mouth opened, but nothing came when she was once again alone with Nolan.
"I'm going to fucking destroy you. You slag around and you're surprised when someone mistakes you for an actual whore? Please," He chuckled, his lips twisting, venom dripping down his tongue. "By now, I would think you know when to keep your mouth shut and when wide open, little flower. Ashcroft's going to mop the floor with you, so go on and fucking tell the world how I fucked your tight pussy until it was loose." He mocked her, his eyes dark and manically wide.
But Vivien felt his fingers drill even more. Tears didn't even roll anymore.
Vivien stood there, shocked, realising how poor and naรฏve she had used to be, not noticing earlier how evil Nolan was. She thought it was her fault for making him angry. No. Nolan was always an angry person and he made a training dummy out of Vivien for his entertainment.
He let go of her as if nothing happened and headed away. Vivien stood there pale as a ghost. It took her minutes to collect herself but she finally did. She looked around with her eyebrows furrowed, wondering if it really happened or was she madly insane. Vivien grabbed the strap of her school bag and walked away.
She was marching until she walked through the Great Hall door. Some students peeped at her, including Nolan already sitting with his friends and putting food on his plate. Their eyes met, and he winked at her to make the message loud and clear.
Vivien felt as if the blood drained from her body. She walked towards her friends. When she was close enough, Regulus stood up, noticing her disoriented round eyes. He caught her, softly grasping her arms. Vivien looked down on her forearm that hurt after Nolan brutally grabbed it. So it is true...
"What happened?" Regulus asked gently, his brows softening, his tone tender and caring, seeing her fearful eyes.
Vivien looked up at him.
"I think Nolan tried to scare me."
"At the library?"
"What?" She frowned firmly, lost.
"You were going to the library, Vi, weren't you?"
She eased her face.
"Oh," She let out at first in a mumble. "I forgot about that. Nolan grabbed me when I was walking downstairs. He dared me to tell the whole world how he made my pussy loose."
Regulus raised his brows. Did he hear her wrong?
"What." He asked dryly in freshly blooming fury.
"Nolan dared me to tell the whole world how he made my tight pussy loose." She repeated, disorientedโstill in slight shock.
And Regulus figured that no matter how disgusting the words were, they matched the mouth they came out of to begin with. His eyes moved towards Nolan sitting at the Hufflepuff table, eating his stupid meal as if he had done nothing.
And something shifted in Regulus. He was angry at the world. Perhaps he didn't deserve better, but Vivien did. He was angry at the world for her. He took his hands away from Vivien and rushed towards OโSullivan. His and Vi's friends immediately flew to Vivien and after Regulus, who was charging at Nolan.
Vivien tried to turn after him but Pandora's arm caught her shoulders, keeping her away from the scene.
"It's alright, Vi." She brought her into an embrace, so she wouldn't see Regulus push Nolan on the table, causing Sullivan's ribs to smack against it deafly.
Vivien heard yelps, shouts, and screams once the fight broke out.
Barty and Evan went after Regulus, Pandora and Dorcas staying with her. She felt Pandora rubbing her back to comfort her, and she rested her chin on her shoulder, shutting her eyes tight, not looking at the professors table either, a few professors present.
Regulus didn't know what came over him but he heard the waves of blood roaring in his ears and all he saw was red.
"You're going to rot in Azkaban for what you did to Vivien and you still think you're entitled to her?!" He gritted through his teeth, pushing Nolan. He smacked against the table.
Then Regulus grabbed his Hufflepuff robe and dragged him down to the ground. Nolan's friends sat there stupified like anyone else. It came from nowhereโfrom the Regulus Black who always kept his mouth shut.
Nolan leaped to his feet to attack Regulus and knock him down.
"I'm sorry that you thought you found someone special, mate, but little flower is not as innocent as you think. Now she says she didn't like what I did but after every timeโshe returned for more." He cracked a laugh.
Regulus' anger was laughable to Nolan. It was laughable for Nolanโthe suffering he caused to Vivien. Vivien was hurting, and he found it funny. Regulus got up and punched him in the stomach. And again, once he stumbled, holding it. Regulus smacked him to the ground and sat over him.
He smashed his fist into Nolan's face.
"I am not-"ย ย
And again.
"-your fucking-"
And again.
"-mate."
And again, even if his fist was pulsing with pain and his knuckles hurt. Finally Nolan's friends got Regulus, Barty and Evan joining the fight too. Vivien heard some howls and she slowly untangled from Pandora. Pandora and Dorcas glanced at Vivien, who turned away to look at the scene.
It was all happening so fast. It was too fast to register. Vivien moved towards the scene which everyone gawked at even from across the hall from the Gryffindor table. There were a few Gryffindors standing on the benches to see it better.
Nolan was lying on the ground, quietly bleeding, his friends fighting down Regulus, Barty, and Evan. There were five of themโof different postures and heights but Vivien's friends weren't giving up either.
Regulus wasn't himself. Vivien had never seen him so mad. He was reddened out of rage, held by Nolan's friend and another hitting him in the face. He was struggling, the rest of them were taken care of by Barty and Evan. In one moment Regulus began bleeding from his bottom lip, and in another he yanked himself out of the boy's hold and went after the other one. The first boy grabbed the left sleeve of Regulus' button-up, ripping it open on accident.
Everyone went quiet after Regulus shot the boy over his shoulder with a striking glare that Vivien had never seen him give anyone. She sucked her belly in, coming closer towards him. Students were observing the scene, Regulus' left arm uncovered. Many suspected to see it marked based on some rumours. It was markedโwith the silver cuts, not the tattoo he was hiding under all the layers of magic.
"What a fucking bunch of clowns." Regulus muttered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief, fixing his sleeve, not that bothered with what everyone saw. All he cared about was what Vivien thought and she thought he was beautiful even with those marks.
Vivien passed Nolan on the ground, not sparing him a stare. She walked towards Regulus and cupped the side of his face that was lowered as he was cursing out to himself. He looked up at her, softened with his sinless eyes, saying sorry. The other side of his face was red and about to be bruised.
Vi realised that even violent Regulus didn't scare her. She made him violent like she made Nolanโbut Nolan hurt her, and Regulus hurt for her. All of that was her Regulus. They stood among Nolan and his friends collecting themselves from the fight, Barty and Evan stepping to Regulus' side, observing him, his sleeve, and his arm.
He was bleeding from his bottom lip and Vi delicately stroked it, smearing the blood on his cheek.
"It's not good that you did that, Regulus." Surely, Nolan provoked the situation intentionally.
For some sick reason.
For his sick satisfaction.
"I know. I'm sorry, Vi. I-"
"It's alright." She couldn't be even mad at him.
It was refreshing to look at Nolan standing up with his friends' help. He bled because of her like she had before because of him. Their eyes met, Nolan's left one swelling twice its usual size. He spat the blood out of his mouth.
"Big fucking mistake." He chuckled to himself. "Good luck on the trial, Vivien. You might need it. You could keep it to yourself but now I'm going to tell everyone how I fucked you enough for you to cry." Although he was the one bleeding this time, he thought he was the one in charge anyway.
"Don't forget to add the part where she cried from the beginning for you to stop and you never did."
If Nolan wouldn't add it, Regulus did quietly but loudly enough for a few ears to catch it.
Vivien felt her skin prickle under the collar of her shirt. That frustrated her. Black was so self-righteous that he made his point but the issue was that it wasn't his point to make. Vivien took her hand off of his cheek as she felt inner frustration so strong, she wanted to smash her head on his. Her eye twitched.
Vivien knew people would know the most shameful details of her life sooner or later, but she wasn't ready to be the center of attention in the Great Hall for anyone to hear those details.
"Merlin, Black, did she turn you into her little whore?" Nolan chuckled desperately, his arm around his friend's shoulder, holding on to him. "I told you already that it's not about what the girl says but how she acts. Half of Hogwarts knows Vivien's boobs by heart and the other half are girls. You paid for her, and you're the one still getting owned. You're hooked so badly."
Regulus rolled his eyes. He put up his hand to his face to rub off the irritation and he let it drop. He charged over to Nolan and his friend, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, smirking sarcastically into his face.
"I'm not surprised that even your own mother couldn't stand the sound of you, if you bark so much nonsense. Say whatever you wish about me but speak about Vivien ever once again, and it will be the last time you will have a tongue run through your mouth, Sullivan. I'm Vi's because I love her, while you tried to have her because she could never love you. She never owed you anything and your words say more about you than about her."
If Nolan really was about to attempt to win the case, Ashcroft could at least prepare him to change the narrative.
Regulus nonchalantly let go of him and turned away.
Vivien was awaiting him with blank eyes, accompanied by their friends, who observed him carefully. She stretched her arm out for him to take her hand. He walked towards her and grasped it before they left like nothing had happened. It was the first time she touched him in a few days and the last one for another few weeks. Vivien and Regulus entered his dormitory quietly, and the door closed with a slam.
Vivien took her hand out of Regulus' and turned around. She stared at him with madly wide eyes. And in that moment, he knew he had fucked up.
Vivien had this urge to slap him. Slap that boy as she was turning. For a shock value. But it was Regulus. She couldn't do that to him. She wanted to do better than that. She just stared at him. He stood there like a big child. Regulus was ready to get his shite rocked like his mother would do to him whenever he disappointed her and his father.
Vivien didn't raise her hand, even if he disappointed her deeplyโshe was drilling through his soul with her pointed eyes, causing Regulus' blood to run cold.
She clenched her jaw.
"I can speak for myself and maybeโjust fucking maybeโif I choose not to, I don't want to speak. Speak for me like that again, Regulus, and it will be the last time you will have a tongue to run through your mouth, got it?!"
Regulus felt guilty, not thinking before about how Vivien would feel about his wordsโhow it would affect her. All he thought was about how she felt about Nolan's. But he made her feel disrespected too. He lowered his head.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Great! Now, go clean yourself. We have classes to attend."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien felt like dying. She was lightheaded, her heart beating in her chest like a hammer, trying to break through all of the flesh, freeing itself from her chest. Her head was aching and spinning, thoughts running. She sat in the wooden chair on one side of the room with Gideonโto her surprise. She asked for a defender from the Ministry but she didn't think Gideon would take that task on himself. He warned her how risky the trial was and if it went badly, how her reputation could be ruined forever. Still he also decided to risk his reputation to defend her against Nolan and Lady Ashcroft. She sat on the other side of the room from Nolan in front of all the officials.
The Wizengamot sat in their stands. Vivien recognised the minister himself among themโHarold Minchum. The judge. The fair hard-liner. Probably corrupted like every single one of the officials. It felt more like a mockery of the trial than a serious one. It felt like a disciplinary hearing, similar to the one Vivien had when she was twelve and about to get excluded from French society. It felt more like she was being disciplined and condemned into humility to fit the image of someone troubled, seeking attention because she didn't fit the image of the victimโperfect victim, wearing modest clothing, quiet and scared of her own shadow, with the reputation of a sweet girl, praying to gods every day.
Vivien dug out all of her cigarette trousers, appreciating them more than everโfinally comfortable in her skin again.
Now she was wearing a navy blue cardigan tucked into the high waist of her trousers. The cardigan wasn't covering her collarbone and neckโthe ones asking to be bitten and sucked on by any boy who passed her. Too much skin was showing, Vivien not wearing gloves to hide her youthful hands, her ballet flats uncovering her curvy ankles.
Merlin, this girl was lost and forgotten by all the gods! Vivien had to use all her strength to stop herself from puking at the idea of feet itself.
"Hearing on the sixth of January about crimes committed against the Code of Minors Safety by Nolan O'Sullivan Junior. Victim: Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne. The judge: Harold Minchum. Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement: Bartemius Crouch Senior."
"Mister O'Sullivan, you're accused of an assault and physical violence against Miss Beauchรชne. Do you plead guilty?"
"I do not."
Great! The case's closed thenโthat's probably what was slipping on Minchum's tongue.ย
"You are accused of assault on the night of December 31st, 1976 and multiple violent acts between October and December of 1976. Do you understand that, son?"
They can't even say the word. Sexual. It was sexual violence! SE-XU-AL! Say it!
"I do, Mister Minchum."
And it went from bad to worse. To begin with, they asked Nolan about the nature of his relationship with Vivien.
"We were dating. We began dating at the beginning of September 1976, shortly after the start of the new semester. By October, we had spent more time together than separately. Quickly, we got intimately close. It was not my first relationship of that kind but Vivien claimed it to be her first. I have tried to be patient and responsible with her since I was older."
"How much older are you?"
"Therotically two years. Practically a year and a month, Sir. I was a year older and I tried to take care of her. Of course I made my mistakes but I wish Vivien would come to me and talk it through."
They asked him to walk them through the evening of the New Year Party in December of 1976, as if his words were more worthy, believable, and valid than Vivien's.
"I noticed Vivien in the crowd. At the time, I thought we were still dating and she didn't ask me to go our own ways yet. I came to her when she was at the table. She was sipping somethingโI could smell alcohol, when I was leaning over to her ear. I asked her to meet me outside to talk. We were dating, but we were going through an argument. Still, I hoped we would figure it out. Vivien didn't and I respected it."
Nolan respected it after he forced himself on Vivien and made her perform a sexual act until she was vomiting.
They asked him like Vivien was the one on trial for her crimes. Her crime of being born. She was there for them to judge her.
Nolan wasn't there to prove he was innocentโshe was there to prove he was guilty. That was the difference. He didn't need to convince anyone of his innocence. Vivien had to convince everyone of her innocence. All those wizards chose to believe Nolan over Vivien because he was a boy.
And she was a girl. With a bad reputation. From the wrong family. Wearing harlot-like clothes. Seeing more than one boy by her seventeenth birthday. Boys were going through puberty. But she was a coquette with her curving body, short skirts, and tight shirts. Girls seemed to be thought to gain powers, going through puberty.
Vivien was responsible for how boys were treating her. She was after all the fox, knowing exactly how to hunt them down and they were only mere preys. Maybe. Maybe she was truly a fox, and any boy could be lured as her prey. But Nolan taught her all of that. All the knowledge she was taught about her own body and charm was from Nolan. A boy. He instructed her how to be flirty and provoked her to act alluringly. He taught her how to be alluring to boys. It was boys teaching girls how to be appealing to them.
Vivien remembered how she was the last girl in her year to begin growing breasts and she remembered how everyone would joke that she was so flat even brooms had more curves than her body. She remembered how Fortescue offered to borrow her an old bra or two discreetly and teach her to stuff it properly so boys would shut up since Alice already learned the power of having boobs once she grew her first B cups and got herself one and only boyfriend.
Vivien knew Alice meant help but it felt only worseโgirls began looking at her body like that tooโlooking for a sign she was a young woman.
Vivien remembered the time at the end of her fourth year as she was walking out of one of the exams alone, when she overheard the group of four dumb boys talking about her. One of them mourned deeply how her nice legs were always hidden under the trousers.
After all, Vivien liked the idea of someone liking her even if it was for her legs. She spent the first week of her summer before her fifth year exchanging letters with all the girlsโAlice, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Emmeline, and Sybill. The second week, she spent with Dove and Poe in the dining room, which changed into the work room when all they did for seven days straight was sew different miniskirts.
Vivien did so much so a boy would think she and her stupid nice legs looked attractive only for the rest of the world to condemn her for her sin of turning into a young woman with all the curves. She remembered trying all the miniskirts to show them off to her mama and her grandma walking into the living room, staring fifteen-year-old Vivien up and down. She had asked her where the rest of her clothes were. Vivien answered that a miniskirt was a full piece of clothing to wear. And she remembered how her grandma told her that maybe it wasโfor a prostitute, so all one had to do was bent over for her client.
Vivien's hopeful spark was snuffed out after her grandma scolded her that she never wore brassieres, and now with those skirts she would stop wearing undergarments tooโto make things easier for boys.
It stung, even if Manon told Vivien to not listen to grandma and complimented her over and over again for the young beautiful woman she was turning into. It felt wrong when Vivien was taught that Manon was the bad one and grandma was the sacred and always right one.
Vivien tried her best to ignore those words echoing through her head and she put on one of her miniskirts on the first day of her fifth year to show off her miniskirt to her girl-friends, wishing for the boyโwho she wanted to like herโto see her in it only to hear rumours on Hogwarts Express that he liked another girl now.
And Vi felt stupid. She hid in the bathroom, embarrassed for herself.
Remus Lupin was the one to knock on the door of the bathroom. When she opened it slightly, he saw she was sniffing. She squinted her eyes to look through the gap and see him. Lupin was the only one to noticeโVivien hurting after learning that Sirius' younger brother dated Pandora Malfoy.
So suddenly, after three years of Regulus liking Vivien, he didn't anymore. Instead Regulus liked another girlโhis girl best friend and Vivien's roommate that she had a bed next to. Over the summer, Regulus Black changed his friend group and interestsโVivien was one of them, she assumed, her heart aching. Vivien let Remus into the bathroom, and he let her cry on his shoulder. They could understand each other when it hurt Lupin to watch Sirius Black date different people tooโnot one of them Remus.
Fifteen-year-old Vivien never admitted to liking Regulus and even weeping on Remus' shoulder, she kept saying, it's nothing, it's nothing. He didn't pressure her to confess her feelings to him. He could tell she was simply disoriented.
At the welcome feast, Nolan had already sneaked himself into her life. He asked her for a date once more, and after she accepted, it all began falling apart.
Was Vivien's curving body at fault or rather her new style? Or Vivien was? For not covering her body enough when it began curving in all the right places that boys wanted to touch on? Vivien's clothes and the need to be liked by a boy were the real criminals? Am I the real criminal?
"Vivien?" Gideon brought her back to now and here after she was wandering back and forth in her mind, reflecting on everything.
"Yes?" She looked lost between all the adults after she kept her face lowered with her eyes focused on the floor, brooding.
Gideon was positive and confident about Vivien's win. She had solid evidence and witnesses. So many witnesses that were ready to swear under the Unbreakable Vow for her. When Vivien and Gideon entered the courtroom, he knew it was a formality. Half of the Wizengamot were womenโdaughters or even mothers of their own daughters. Minchum was tough. He was tough, but he was honorable.
Crouch Sr. had the bold brave face that told Gideon he wouldn't let his boy lose the case. Crouch liked Vivien. She was a friend of his son. Despite his judgmental nature, he was soft on youth. She was only a teenage girl. Just a child. He believed her. He believed she was a deeply hurt girl.
Crouch knew Jean-Claude Beauchรชne, and he knew Vivien from his stories, even though Jean-Claude in his last years knew Vivien as much as Crouch Senior knew his Junior. Crouch wouldn't risk losing someone like Gideonโone of his boysโto a bad reputation. And he wanted justice for the girl.
But Vivien was pale, about to faint at any moment.
"Miss Beauchรชne, are you feeling alright?" One of the female officials repeated the question for Vivien.
She looked up at her, weakly nodding her head, her eyes twitching, her vision slightly blurry and misty.
"Yes, ma'am."
"If there is a need for a break, all it takes is to ask." Crouch assured.
Of course, so you could demolish me behind my back!
"There's no need." She responded emptily.
Vivien sat there through the whole trial solid like a rock. She didnโt even move during the breaks. She sat in her chair, staring at one point. There was a crack in the wooden stands where the Wizengamot sat. She observed the crack in the dark wood to see if it would grow through the trial. If the stands would shatter and scatterโif the whole stands collapsed and fell apart, causing a tragic accident.
Nothing of that kind happened as she listened to Zahara's, Dorcas', and Barty's giving their statements that together glued into one story, retelling Vivienโs trauma to Vivien as if to humiliate her all over again.
"I and Zahara Hassani, my partner in patrols, heard a male voice shouting profanities. When we found Nolan and Vivien, she was on her knees. When we pointed our wands at him and he noticed the light, he instantly freed her from his grip."
"She was bleeding, holding one of her hands in the puddle of her stomach contents. Dorcas screamed for Bartemius Crouch Junior to come and help."
"I called Barty-sorry. I called Bartemius. And we marched towards Vivien."
"Me and Regulus Black heard the girls calling my name from the lower floor on our patrol. We rushed towards them."
"Vivien was barely contacting, mumbling things. She was holding the top of her dress after it was ripped by Nolan, I assume."
"You assume, which means you don't know that for sure, Miss Meadowes?"ย
"Yes, Lady Ashcroft."
"Then please don't make assumptions. We want only to hear facts, unless you don't know them-"
"Let me tell you the facts then. The fact is when Regulus and I approached, Nolan was giggling behind the girlsโ backs, healthy and unharmed with his trousers poorly fixed. He was making comments about Vivien and her body, amused about her state."
"Vivien was crying and hurting and Nolan found that amusing."
"At first, she was scared to be touched. Regulus Black handed me his jacket for Vivien to cover herself."
"Vivien was mumbling. She mumbled how tired she was and how her head hurt. She said she passed out and when she opened her eyes, he was holding her neck. She blacked out again, saying she was cold. She wanted to lay down and sleep it off."
"We couldn't let her do that. She had a wound she was bleeding badly from since Nolan didn't go to get any help after whatever he did that I can't factually state." Dorcas smiled tightly at Lady Ashcroft. "But what I can state is that he didn't get help after whatever he did or didn't do to Vivien."
"I, Regulus, and Dorcas tried our best to keep Vivien conscious."
"I was holding Nolan against the wall. I wasnโt aware whether he was aggressive, under the influence of some substances or about to cause more troubles."
"How were you holding him, Mister Crouch? To my understanding, you hold him by his neck, squeezing it."
"He didn't mind it back. I dare say he liked it. He certainly was asking for itโwith his behaviour and his clothes. He and I shared quite a moment there, Lady Ashcroft. I remember his breath mixing with mine when he said things that I'm sorry for quoting, I only did what a slag wanted. At Regulus Black's question did Vivien want him to force himself on her, he answered that, B lack, once you touch any woman, you will realise it's not about what they tell you but how they behave. This one acted like a whore and got treated like one."
"He joked, saying things about Vivien's body and saying that he warmed it up for other boys like Regulus."
"Vivian began blurring out things. She said what he did. That he told her to relax her jaw and open her mouth or he wouldโI'm sorry," Zahara hesitated when she gagged, bile on her tongue at the thought itself. She covered her mouth.
"That's alright, child."
"He said he would take care of body parts that I couldn't close, unlike my mouth, when I was gritting my teeth to stop him." Vivien cut in, unaware if she had a right to. She simply wanted to get out of that corridor and never go back into it.
"I and Zahara helped her stand up after Regulus kept her attentive on him because she tried to close her eyes but Vivien began mumbling that she had to borrow one of our wands to clean. She was worried someone would find her stomach contents on the ground."
"Regulus and I tried to calm her. I assured her someone else would do it for her but she insisted no one else could see it. Nolan seemed proud like he trained her to do that."
"Assumption, Miss Hassani."
"Of course, I'm sorry."
"Regulus promised Vivien to clean it for her after I told her he was good at secrets. And she trusted him."
Vivien shut her eyes. She wanted to get out of that corridor so badly. She didn't want to cryโit would do no good. Nolan would be satisfied, the Wizengamot and Minchum would think she tried to manipulate them emotionally.
Gideon glanced at Vivien after Crouch Sr. pointed at her, tipping his head.
Vivien sat with her eyes shut tightly and her lips rolled into her mouth. She tried to stay grounded against that old wound being scratched open again so brutally. She tried to stay strong. He laid his hand at the top of hers that she was clenching on the armrest of her chair.
Vivien opened her eyes, directing them atย worried Gideon. He leaned closer towards her for a solid second, blocking out the rest of the world. She heard him whisper in her ear.
"He's going to Azkaban. Thanks to you, Vivien. You will leave this place behind, and he will be forever stuck in here, rethinking it all." He tried to soothe her.
Vivien appreciated it but she could feel all the judgment thickening the air that she could suffocate on if she wasn't careful to take her breaths in.
After that, it was one big blur. Vivien was too focused on surviving those hours.
"I asked her if she often cleaned after Nolan was done. And she said she always cleans her body. After the incident with a bruise on her neck, she always cleaned everything, including her body." Zahara said. "I think it was the moment she realised how humiliating it all was."
"If it was humiliating to Miss Beauchรชne, why did she keep returning to perform more sexual activities with Nolan, Miss Pomfrey?"
"Madam Pomfrey, Lady Ashcroft." Pomfrey corrected. "Vivien always had issues fitting in with other classmates-"
"So she was always the problematic person? How come we even debate whether Nolan is guilty or not, if Miss Beauchรชne keeps being described as troubled? A person that everyone has a problem with. It seems it's just another case of her-"
"Lady Ashcroft, watch your words. I think you're forgetting it isn't a trial against Vivien."
"But it shouldnโt be?"
"I suggest you look hard and find a reason to trial that poor girl. Until then I would like to finish my statement soonโI have an actual job to do unlike some." Pomfrey stared Ashcroftย up and down. "Like I was saying, Vivien always had issues fitting in, but it was clear that she wanted to. I think she was too embarrassed to ask anyone how to. She is at an age when every child wants to be liked. And she thought there was a boy who liked her even when she didn't fully fit in. It seems to me that Nolan might be a disturbed person, and disturbed people as such are great at hunting down vulnerability. He took advantage of Vivien's lack of communication skills, knowing she would be too ashamed to ask anyone questions. Or her lack of information to know what he did wasn't how it was supposed to be done."
Vivien couldn't listen anymore to Madame Pomfrey talking. She wished she would faint.
It would be one way to give up. She was too embarrassed to stand up and leave, giving up like that. She had already wasted so many people's time on that trial. She was stupid, thinking she would make a difference.
All the voices made her head pulse with a migraine. All she wanted to do was faint, sick of the pain.
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ย ย ย ย ย "It was obscene, the incident with bruises on the back of her neck. I didn't tell her to keep it. I don't know why Vivien did it. That bruise was an accident."
"Could you elaborate, Mister O'Sullivan?"
"Vivien liked when our intercourses were intense and-" He fakely hesitated. "Rough. We wanted to experiment. She asked me to hold her down. I don't know why she would say I forced her down. Sometimes, she liked when I used my strength. Oftentimes, she would provoke me to use it." He added after a second to emphasise, how roughly she liked it.
"Miss Beauchรชne states you were forcing her. She states she would be crying and you would enforce your preferences on her."
"My preferences? Oh Merlin, I would never do such a thing to a girl out of my pleasure. Vivien initiated it."
"What about the first time she shared with you? Didn't you force her to perform a sexual act on you?"
"Absolutely not. I advised against Vivien being on top of me. She wanted it. She wanted to be in charge."
"What happened?"
"She performed how she wanted. I was scared out after she continued even when she bled. I was scared. She was on top of me. The doors were blockedโshe always asked to close them. My wandโI didn't know where it was and I would have no chance to find it with her on top of me. I was scared. Vivien had a reputation for being aggressive, like starting fights, but I didn't believe she could hurt me until I saw the pleasure she felt when she was hurting herself. When it was over I panicked. I pushed her down and ran off to the bathroom. I closed the door and immediately hid in the shower so she wouldn't hear how I cried."
"Interesting. Is it possible that Miss Beauchรชne lied about being a virgin to begin with?"
Vivien heard a scandal echo.
"Lady Ashcroft!"
"Is this a joke?!"
"It is not, Mister Prewett. Vivien, I mean, Miss Beauchรชne has a long history of causing trouble for attention from what I believe she's being treated. Even now and here, she sits with marks on her neck." Lady Ashcroft pointed her finger at Vivien accusingly.
Even more shock echoing.
Viven looked away from the crack for one and only time, her eyes blank against Lady Ashcroft.
"Fernir Greyback gave me them." She mumbled out sarcastically. The claw marks on her neck were nearly healed and barely noticeable, but could they be big enough evidence of Vivien's supposed indecent lifestyle?
Her murmur was met with stares, but her words went down silently as she looked back at the crack.
"I want to remind you that this isn't a trial against Miss Beauchรชne and being ill is not a crime. All the needed healing history was received by the Wizengamot, and if Lady Ashcroft wishes to know, not one symptom of Miss Beauchรชne's illness suggests pathological lying. On the other hand, a few of Madame Pomfrey's records prove someone used strength against her." Mister Crouch assured, his tone tiredโof that trial surely.
"Is there any proof that she tried to fight that strength then? How come all this time and suddenly now Miss Beauchรชne came forward with her accusation?" Ashcroft tried to shut him up.
"I believe Mister O'Sullivan has already been accused of an assault on another minor." Gideon murmured. "Vivien of a perjury not so much."
"That was a misunderstanding."
"How come?"
"Miss Greenfield willingly drank the alcohol and invited me to her dormitory."
"Of course, she did when she was too intoxicated to walk through the door when you were helping her the whole path to it." Gideon remarked, smirking sarcastically at the audacity.
"I was drunk too. It was a misunderstanding. She's lying, if she says otherwise."
Vivien boiled, her skin prickling, sweat stirring.
Nolan tried to turn another girl into the monster he turned her intoโinto a disgusting, seeking sexual attention girl. She felt her heart rush as she jumped to her feet.
"No, she isn't! You did things to her and you did things to me too!" She yelled at Nolan, losing temper and stability for that one moment.
The rest of the room went silent. Gideon slowly stood up, Nolan and Ashcroft staring at Vivien. Nolan rolled his eyes, his lips twisting like he had to stop himself from scoffing.
Vivien could swear Lady Ashcroft dared to smirk at her. The audacity!
Vivien realised she made a scene like the lady wanted herโto prove her point, everyone looking at her. She began feeling small. Gideon stood up in front of her to block out Nolan and Lady Ashcroft. He opened his mouth-
"Until Miss Beauchรชne has a witness that could confirm her versionโthat she is a victimโNolan pleads innocent." But a female voice mused.
Vivien saw Lady Ashcroft sit down. Her hands tightened into fists and Gideon pressed his brows together to look at the lady as if to say to her that it was enough.
But Vivien had enough too.
"I have witnesses."
Lady Ashcroft chuckled, humoured.
"We're asking for a reliable one. How is it that all the witnesses are your friends? Isn't that questionable?"
For a moment, Vivien thought. Gideon could see not the spark but the fire in her eyes until she spoke out loud to the whole hall.
"I have a witness like that."
Gideon looked to the side at the Wizengamot, startled.
"Vivien needs a break."
In a matter of seconds, they left the courtroom. Gideon left and Vivien followed him. He held the door for her. She raised her head to look up at him. Instead she was met with the sight of her schoolmates sitting in chairs, waiting. A group of people.
Vivien didn't realise how many of her old friends, new friends, not friends, and friends in general agreed to testify under an oath when they all sat in chairs in the corridor, awaiting their turn. Fabian was nannying all of them. Zahara, Barty, Cassie, Edgar... Amelia and Frank, who were risking their blooming careers at the Ministry... Remus, Lily, Rosalie, Marlene... and a few others, including some Slytherins. Vivien looked at them all before she slowly turned around to Prewett.
"I have a witness like that, Gideon. Like the one she asks for."
"We asked everyone that was in the papers."
"You didn't ask the one that wasn't in the paper." She elaborated.
Vivien had nothing left. She felt so naked alreadyโshe had nothing left to hide anyway. Hearing the whispers between the two, the crowd stirred like in the cauldron. Fabian got up and walked over to them, the teenagers looking at each other.
"What is going on?"
"Ashcroft is questioning the quality of our witnesses." Gideon didn't even peep at his twin brother, focused on Vivienโhis eyes gentle and cautious. "What witness do you have? What are you talking about, Vivien?"
Her eyebrows softened.
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ย ย ย ย ย "When he unlocked the door, he was laughing. He told me to get out because he needed to use the bathroom. He was in his boxers. I don't even know when I got out, but Fifien already had her eyes directed at me. She was looking over her shoulder, putting her clothes on at the bedside. She was crying but when she realised she wasn't alone with Nolan, she immediately pulled up her skirt. She was embarrassed and betrayed that Nolan did such a thing. She lowered her face but I've already seen the mark on her cheek. She wiped her tears hurriedly. I wished to believe the cries I heard were pleasure but when I saw what I saw, I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Nolan didn't slap her on the body for their enjoyment. He slapped her on the face for his enjoyment. I saw the red cheek she had. I was too petrified to move."
"I stood there. Fifien reached for her school bag and took out the bottle of some potion, and drank a little. The bruise that would form was gone before it marked her skin. And I figured out that I didn't know the person I was friends with. That's why I didn't say somethingโanything. I thought it was just a joke but he pushed me in the bathroom, blocked the door, and quietened the room, so she wouldn't hear but so I would listen. I thought he was joking around to impress meโI didn't think Nolan was serious about me listening to them. I couldn't understand how I didn't notice the person I had by my side all those years. At that moment, there were two people who could do something for Vivien. Nolan, who could stop himself and I, who could stop him. Neither of us did, and I didn't say anything because I felt too guilty to admit that I didn't do more for Vivien, when she was too ashamed to ask me to do anything. When she ignored me, I gave up. All I did was distance myself from Nolan, but I wasn't his victim and I didn't do more for the person who was."
Vivien never imagined she and Angus Brennan would ever find themselves in the same roomโsmall as that one. He was Nolan's best friend since ever, which she knew from Angus himself and not Nolan.
It made sense that Nolan didn't tell her after he laughed at her, And I never gave a fuck about your brothers. I don't care about your hobbies. Do you think that if I ever cared to know you and you to know me, all effort I would make was to fuck you? The conversation was way easier to achieve when your mouth never shut up and your legs never opened before, Vivien. Use your brain sometimes and think. I just fucked the shite out of your mouth.
Most of what she knew about Nolan was from Angus.
Angus was very friendly, smiley, and full of teasing, which was common among teenage boys. Vivien never blamed Angus. After that time, he saw her so embarrassingly crying over nothing , she couldn't face him ashamed since he heard her during what she thought was supposed to be a sex and saw her putting on clothes and crying after what she thought was a sex. And when he caught her after she collected herself and left the dormitory quietly, asking her what he could do to help her, she was lost.
Help with what , she asked.
he said, with what Nolan did.
Vivien was disoriented. What did Nolan do? Hit her.
She thought that it was how all the boys did it. That they were violent. They weren't.
Vivien was disoriented when Zahara began asking her questions about where her bruises were from and whether Nolan left them intentionally, and whether he used strength against Vivien in bed. What Zahara didn't know was that Nolan forced Vivien into bed.
And Vivien thought Zahara, Remus, and Lily were overprotective because she was their friend. She told them that it was nothing and that she liked it rough. She didn't but she thought she was supposed to. She ignored them.
But when Angus, the best friend of Nolan , told her that what Nolan did to her wasn't how it was supposed to be, she was truly lost. She saw his teary eyes that he had upon realising Vivien was taken advantage of by his best friend and she didn't even know she was used in the most inhuman ways.
She was so innocent that she didn't understand it, and Nolan knew it and abused it. Abused her. Vivien was embarrassed for herself when Angus began questioning her persistently, nearly interrogating her. He told her she should report it to someone. She should report what? An abuse.
Angus tried to help Vivien but she accepted the abuse thinking it was all she deserved. And he didn't do anything more after she began avoiding him. He moved on from Nolan, a person he used to know.
Until then, the three never acknowledged each other again.
Angus glanced to the side at Nolan. He didn't look back at him. He sat spread out in the chair, resting his chin in his hand, boiling inside, his neck red.
Angus glanced away, too disgusted with him.
And he glanced to the other side. Vivien gazed at him, smiling sadly.
He smiled sadly too.
Chapter 46: howling to the stars
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was wandering around Hogwarts grounds, awaiting Remus who was running late. Literally, he was running, being late. She saw him and smiled, stopping to wait for him. He was still in his uniformโhis tie loose on his neck. He had his hands shoved into pockets of his trousers, as he ran to her on his long legs.
It was Remus who initiated a private stroll with Vivien. He asked her for it very discreetly after he found her in her free period, hidden in the corner of the library. He supposedly had asked to go to the bathroom during his classes but instead ran through the whole castle to look for Vivien in the library. Remus didn't say it, but Vivien got the hint: it was a very private stroll and should be kept only between the two of them.
Vivien always found Remus adorable. In the sun, his brown eyes and brownish hair appeared even warmer. Remus Lupin was quiet and stoicโhard to impress, shock or surprise. It made him quite mysterious and Vivien found it most attractive about him despite his cute boyish look.
And he was a mystery. He was hiding a dark secretโas dark as it could be for a sixteen-year-old, wearing loose jumpers and having cute dimples.
Young Vivien had been quite disappointed after her family history taught her that all kinds co-existed in one big societyโthey didnโt. Vivien didn't think Remus was a monster. She was rather upset that he was the only werewolf she had met at that point in her life.
Remus offered her a side hug. Vivien accepted.
"Hi," She kept smiling sweetly.
"Hiya," Lupin replied.
They parted and began slowly dragging their feet through the tall grass.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Vivien wasn't the best at small talk about the weather. She was bold and liked things straight.
Remus glanced at her. She had her eyes firmly directed at him. They were flickering. He knew she was curious since he had intrigued her with his mysterious behaviour. Vivien and Remus had spent a fair share of their winter afternoons in the library, sometimes only the two of them but it happened naturally. There were never any official invitations unlike that day. He had never asked her like that.
Remus sighed and paused, turning towards Vivien. She did the same, facing him.
"I like someone." Lupin confessed.
Vivien tilted her head, furrowing her eyebrows.
They stood, gazing at each other.
"And?" She shrugged her shoulders.
Remus chuckled. That's exactly what he neededโsomeone free of judgement.
No, Vivien was judging him! Just for different reasons than other teenagers would.
"And I like them a lot, Vivien. I like like them." He emphasised slowly.
" Oookaaayyy. " Vivien mocked him, saying even slower and nodding her head to emphasise. "And why are you telling me this and not them?" Soon, she asked normally, her eyebrows raising.
Remus felt his heart race in panic. He tensed in front of Vivien. She frowned firmer than before.
Lupin was afraid enough to do something stupid out of panic. Is he going to say it or...?
"Are you scared because he isn't a girl?" Vivien crossed her arms on her chest, squinting her eyes suspiciously after Remusโ lips opened and closed.
He paused, like an old machinery stopping to work, broken, malfunctioning.
"What?" He barely asked after Vivien questioned it so openly, his mind blank like someone used Obliviate on him.
"Are you scared to tell Sirius because he isn't like a girl?" Vivien specified.
Remus nearly fainted, feeling light-headed. He took a step closer, leaning to her height, white in face like the clouds in the sky.
"You know, Vivien?" He whispered softly.
"I'm your friend, right? Shouldn't I?" She questioned, her eyebrows tangling tightly.
Remus studied Vivien's face. It was pure and sinless. Lupin smiled softly. Of course, Vivien would know. He straightened, backing away.
"Usually friends know something after you tell them, not before."
"Oh," She cringed. "Sorry."
"No. It's alright." He assured, but then quirked his eyebrow. "Unless it isn't?"
Remus was obviously afraid of the judgement. He thought of himself as a monster, and then as a weird monster.
Vivien laid a hand on her heart, insulted by the insinuation.
"I'm not stupid like these muggle-borns!" She protested.
Remus snorted, turning away to move on. Vivien followed, hitting him on the shoulder.
"That was evil of you to even suggest, Remi!"
"So you don't mind that just like that Iโa boyโlike another boy?"
"Why would I?" Vivien took a second to think. "I mean it's sad that from all the boys, it's the one that washes his hands in his own piss but-"
"He does not do that." Remus scoffed, looking at her, now insulted too.ย
"You don't know that unless you were in the bathroom with him." Vivien smartassed, raising her eyebrows at him like she won.
"I was."
"What? Why?" She grimaced her face, distasted. "For what?"
"Sirius doesn't understand boundaries. I think James fed too much of his separation anxiety and once or twice he walked into the bathroom to take a piss when I was washing my teeth, you know." He elaborated with a half-smile.
Vivien was so bold but so innocent.
"Ew," She grimaced with her whole face at the image.
"Yeah, yeah. And I saw him washing his hands at the sink."
"Perhaps he was keeping up pretences." She murmured under her nose, her eyes widening.
"I heard it." Remus nudged her gently. He glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. "Why are you so persistent that he's stinky?"
"Because he is!" Vivien argued, throwing her hands.
"He's just messy." Remus mused dismissively.
"And stinky like all the boys."
"Am I stinky then?" Remus kept half-smiling when he met Vivien's eyes. She saw his smirk and rolled her eyes.
"No." She grumbled, blushing on her full cheek. "You're an exception."
"Yeah, but I couldn't like myself, could I?"
"There are few other expectations." She murmured more.
"Like who?" Remus nudged Vivien again, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows.
Vivien saying heโa boyโwas clean was her being the closest to complimenting any boy. So innocent.
She blushed immediately at his suggestive tone and looked away to the other side, which caused him to crack up.
SO INNOCENT!
Chapter 47: thinkโplease, fucking don't!
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne would remember the date forever. January 6th, 1978, Friday, afternoon.
The day Vivien wasted everyone's time. Also put Nolan into Azkaban! Nolan was convicted of two assaultsโon minors included and was convicted of physical violence. Vivien didn't know a lot about the law and she never knew how protective it was of victims.
Because Vivien accepted it. She was a victim of someone sick and there was never anything she could do to save herself. But she wasn't only a victim. She was much more than Nolan ever saw in her. And she ended him. She overcame her victimizer. She was a survivor. And a bigger person than just that.
When Vivienย stepped out of the courtroom, she was so lost at first. Gideon held the door for her and Angus. She looked around, conflicted. That's it?
Her schoolmates stood up slowly from the chairs, observing Vivien, Angus, and Gideon. But especially Vivien. Fabian tilted his head, looking at his twin brother.
"Thirty years in Azkaban." Gideon smirked, satisfied.
"Oh, shite!" Exclaimed Fabian.
All the teenagers smiled but Vivien, who was glancing over her shoulder, waiting to see Nolan. Cassie and Barty approached her, but her eyes didn't move from the courtroom door.
Finally, they slammed open widely and two guards walked Nolan, Lady Ashcroft following. She was walking with her chin raised high and her arms crossed on her chest, unbothered that she had lost the case.
Nolan immediately directed his eyes at the group and his face twisted at everyoneโs sight, disgusted with them. His hands were locked behind his back but if they weren't, he would probably show them a middle finger and shout some profanities
ย Lady Ashcroft pushed him, muttering something after him. He and two guards kept moving into one of the corridors until they disappeared.
Lady Ashcroft stopped, staring after them. She rudely even waved her hand. When she couldn't see Nolan anymore, she turned towards two aurors and the group of teenagers, including Vivien.
"Hello boys," She mouthed, smiling and waving her hand more friendly than beforeโlike it didnโt itch her to show them a middle finger. Prewett twins waved too and Vivien furrowed her eyebrows.
It seemed like sincere gestures. Lady Ashcroft smiled towards her and bowed her head politely, walking away in the opposite direction from them. Vivien had her eyebrows narrowed sharply at the Prewetts, suspicious. And they faced her.
"What just happened?" She asked, her tone pitched, her throat aching, upset.
"A friend." Two brothers answered in sync.
Vivien folded her arms over her chest defensively.
"But she just tried to bite my head off." Her blood began to boil, her skin prickling, her sweat stirring. She was feeling like Prewetts betrayed herโlike they took a dagger and stabbed her in the back.
"Did she?" Fabian half-smiled, tilting his head, raising his eyebrows.
Vivien scoffed, "Yes! She literally did what you said she would! She tried to tear me into shreds. She literally took that job and protected Nolan!" She whisper-shouted, angrier and angrier. "We could lose because of her!"
She pointed her hand in the direction where Lady Ashcroft stood a minute before. A friend wouldn't do such a thing! She felt Cassie's hand on her shoulder to soothe her. She yanked it, not wishing to be touchedโtoo soon for that.
"Vivien, Nolan was found guilty of an assault on Miss Greenfield before the trial even began. He wasn't trained to represent himself properly. Lady Ashcroft didn't have a choiceโshe owed someone a favour and they asked her to represent Nolan." Gideon slowly elaborated, gesticulating for her to focus on him.
"Exactly!" She looked at him wide-eyed and madโmaniacal.
"She agreed to represent himโnot to win his case, I guess. There was no winning in that case."
"But you said Lady Ashcroft would tear me into pieces, and she did!" Vivien confessed, tears gathering in her eyes.
Everyone could see she was actually hurt.
With a sad smile stretching his mouth, Gideon sighed, "That's part of her jobโto be brutal but-"
"But?!" Vivien took a step closer to Gideon.
"Vivien, listen." Fabian stepped up between them calmly. "I can only imagine how rude she was. But she did everything to lose that case. She didn't put the effort into her defence, did she? She threw words in the air. She hinted at bringing Angus." He counted on his fingers and Vivien glanced at them, thinking about what he said.
It was true. Lady Ashcroft smirked at Vivien and said something about having another witness, but Vivien thought it was an act of arrogance to disrespect her. Not because she was proud of her.
"Why would she do it?" Vivien took a step back, looking betweenย two redhead brothers.
Fabian took his previous place too.
"Because she was a victim once as well. It's not easy to be a woman and it's not easy to be different in our society. She had to return the favour and it was to take the case. She knew everything Nolan had done after he trusted the wrong person. She was never there to help him. He admitted to trying to hurt two different girls in his hometown when he was eleven and then thirteen. He was always a sick individual and he blamed others for itโhis mother, other women. Girls around him." Gideon told and Vivien gazed at him, focused on only one of the things he said.
"Someone hurt Miss Ashcroft too?" She asked quietly.
"Years ago. She was always a bit different because of the vampirism in her veins, and many wizards don't like it."
Vivien's eyes twitched. After a second, she nodded her head in understanding. She looked around at her schoolmates smiling softly at her.
Her eyes kept travelling until they landed on the person she was looking for. Angus still stood at one of her sides, smiling downwards.
Vivien eased entirely.
"Thank you." She murmured.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
Vivien hesitantly opened her arms, hesitant to be hugged. Very cautiously and delicately, he responded, gently taking her in his arms like she was made of porcelain.
"I'm glad to see you and I hope I will never see you again, Angus." She mumbled.
"And I wish that one day you will find your peace again, Fifi."
"I think it was the first step towards it."
Vivien didn't hold any grudges against Angus. She didn't hate him or resent him, waiting for him to apologise until she would forgive him.
But there was too much history between them with Nolan being the thing that connected them. Vivien didn't think she could ever gaze at Angus without remembering Nolan and the discomfort he caused. She hugged him tightly as a goodbye because she knew it was the last time they would ever speak again.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus didn't know what to await, sitting with Evan, Pandora, Sybill, Vivien's teenage brothers, Freya, Kingsley, and Hestia in the corridor of Dumbledore's office. They were sitting for over an hour in silence, when the gargoyle finally moved to the side and the circular staircase rolled down. One by one, students stepped down.
Regulus and the rest slowly stood up. Some of their schoolmates smiled tightly and passed them, others simply walked in their own directionโZahara was one of those. She ignored them and went in her own direction. Rosalie stepped out and bowed her head politely, walking away. Emmeline was after. She came closer to Sybill. Edgar stopped by the two lovebirds, welcoming Sybie with a nod of his head.
Marlene, Remus, and Lily carefully stopped at Edgar's side. Last were Cassie and Barty, who approached Regulus, Panda, and Evan. They all observed the stairs until Vivien climbed down a minute later, fatigued and followed by Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. They smiled warmer, noticing the group, who was awaiting Miss Beauchรชne.
Vivien faced her friends, taking a few hesitant steps towards them.
"I won." She announced silently with a tight smile, tucking her hands behind her back.
Even young Rosie took the hint from his big sister's body language and didn't come to her for a hug. Her body screamed, I do not wish to be touched! Vivien left and the group smiled faintly. Regulus wanted to follow after Vivien, but Pandora caught his elbow.
"Don't." She said as they all observed the witch go. He faced the group, they all had polite but pale faces.
"Vi just needs her time, Regulus." Teddy murmured, turning away. He was the first to leave.
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ย ย ย ย ย There was nothing. No celebration. No embraces or kisses shared. There was no excitement or words of affection like, We are proud of you!
Vivien didn't wish for all that and it was all about what she was comfortable with. She announced her win and that was it. She wished to be left alone, slowly marching towards her dormitory in the Ravenclaw Tower. Vivien didn't feel like celebrating. Justice should be the norm. Orโeven betterโbeing safe should be the norm.
Nolan was a sick individual who tried to hurt girls for his enjoyment and blame them for it. In the end, even his own father couldnโt look at him. Mister O'Sullivan gave up on his own son. And Vivien didn't feel bad about it. It was a good reason to finally hold him accountable. Nolan always thought his dad would be there to save him from trouble. And he deserved to lose that securityโthat feeling of safetyโwhen he stole it from other people just like that. Nolan thought he would spend the rest of his life, living it to the fullestโwhatever that meant for him.
And he thought Vivien would spend every day always looking around her surroundings for Nolans. He would hurt people to the last breath he took, creating more Viviens, mistrustful of all the boys around them, always suspecting the worst and not doing anything to stop it. No fucking way, I would let him do that! Because that's not who Vivien was even if that's all Nolan thought of her. And she stopped him.
But it was hard. She didn't feel comfortable being touched after the trial because of how she felt naked. And she didn't feel comfortable at the moment being seen naked by anyone, including Regulusโor even especially by him. All she felt was naked with the truth being out after the article that Rita Skeeter publicised.
Vivien only saw the title 'Scandalous love story'ย and threw away the Daily Prophet for her sake. She could tell other students didn't with all the whispers and glances. Even a week later, all of those looks loomed over her like shadowsโdarkening her light.
Vivien dropped down on the bench in one of the corridors.
Regulus, Pandora, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty looked at her sitting beside the girls, the boys standing in front of them. It was between classes during lunch break.
"What." Vivien met all of their eyes, asking harshly, dry.
It was quite a long time until she found her way towards them. Week. Seven days. They were sickly worried, although they knew Vivien needed her time.
"Nothing." Evan shrugged his shoulders as she was glancing at him, trying to crack him since he was the easiest.
And everyone was all looking at her meaningfully.
"So Barty, how's the article?" She sighed, looking at him putting his hands in the air defensively. His face fell.
"Vi, none of us read that shite." Pandora assured her, the closest to her.
Vivien kept staring at Barty, her eyes squinting slightly.
"How come you assumed I'd read it?" He asked, pointing at himself.
"Because you love the drama, and if it was written by Skeeter, it sure as hell was full of it." She stated, squinting harder.
"It was quite fun." He commented after a hot minute, letting his hands drop.
Regulus threw his head in a groan. Evan threw his hands and Dorcas scoffed. Pandora rolled her eyes.
"Calm down, guys. It's offensive that you think I would believe anything that lady would write down. It was funny to read it. I laughed my arse off once or twice." He argued, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
It didn't surprise Vivien that her friends would agree with each other on not reading the article as well as Barty being too nosy to keep his word. Because that's how he wasโtoo nosy for his own good.
"I'm glad it entertained you." She murmured, too tired to feel anything.
"Shite, Vi. I didn't mean it like that." Barty elaborated. "It's simply absurd what she wrote down. I think she had to interview Sullivan or something, because I don't think she would be creative enough to think of that. She claims that you began dating O'Sullivan to make Regulus jealous because he began dating Pandora at the time." He chuckled, telling them all.
Vivien instantly felt a stabbing pain in her breast at the mention of Regulus and Pandora being together. She furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?" She felt her head turn light, waves of blood swimming through her head. She looked between her friends who all stared at Barty laughing.
"Yeah. I think both of them made that connection because of your two's engagement now."
Vivien didn't feel like laughing either, rather tense.
"Please, anyone who looked at those two together knew it was a shiteshow. I've never seen two people be more stiff around each other." Dorcas cracked too at Regulus and Pandora, who rolled their eyes in sync. Evan snorted at last.
Between Vivienโs eyebrows a line appeared.
"What do you mean?" She asked nervously, brushing her hand through her hair.
They all looked at her and noticed how her hand shook a little once she let it fall on her thighs, looking between them, lost. Pandora observed Vivien attentively. Realisation washed over her like a cold shower. Vivien never figured that she and Regulus were a shiteshow only...
"You know. We didn't really date. It was like a show-off for the aristocracy, our families, and you at the same time. Like bagging two nifflers with one net kind of situation." She replied slowly. "But it wasn't working. We've known each other since the beginning of time and longer. I have known him for too long and too much to find him attractive or pretend I am."
"Thank you, Pandora." Regulus smirked sarcastically.
"Oh, please, Reg. It's not like your feelings towards me were sincere in that relationship." She matched his attitude, looking at him judgingly.
Vivien watched them both, her eyes jumping back and forth.
"What do you mean it was a show-off to me too?" She felt nervous, asking more questions on that matter, yet she couldnโt stop herself.
It was Barty to squint his eyes at her now. Dorcas glanced between Pandora, Regulus, and Vivien. Evan stayed obvious as did Regulus, who shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
"Like to make you jealous, Vi." He admitted with a huff, not feeling the proudest about the plan he made with his friends over a year ago. "What can I say? Didn't work."
Didn't it?!
"Yh-ym." Vivien rolled her lips into her mouth, humming. She looked away, glancing at nothing particular.
How stupid life is?, she wanted to shout and scream and fight Regulus, and then hit herself on her stupid head. She never figured out there were no feelings between Regulus and Pandora. She thought they liked each other, but it wasn't working and they moved on from that relationship. And she accepted it like that. She didn't figure out that it was all just to make her jealous. But for what it was worth, it worked. And they had broken her heart at the time. Vivien felt like crying.
Stupidโฆ Regulus had such a great ability to break Vi's heart when it was never the goal he aimed for. And she couldn't even hate him for that. No matter how badly and stupidly Regulus broke Vi's heart, she wasn't capable of hating him. All she wanted to do was cry into him as he held her and quietly apologised to her for hurting her, making it all a bit better but enough for her to embrace him back.
But now, she wasn't capable of telling him why she wanted to cry or beg him to embrace her to make it all easier. She hated life for all of that. Faith, all the gods, and people.
Everyone but Regulus! And now, at least Viven knew why all those stupid people whispered so loudly. It felt like everyone knew now. Everyone knows Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne likes Regulus Arcturus Black as much as he likes her. And for longer than anyone would have thought ofโฆ
Does Regulus know?
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus didn't think anything of that unsophisticated article Rita Skeeter wrote, though he listened to Barty laughing his arse off with Dorcas. The whole articleโwhich was supposed to be the story of a survivorโturned into a conspiracy about him and Vivien's relationship and engagement.
Did anyone actually care enough to read that? Yes. Yes, a lot of wizards did. The issue was that there was no relationship and Vi made it clear.
She tried to act more responsible and mature about it, respecting Regulus and keeping her distance. It was easier for them two when she didn't wish to be touched. She didn't initiate touch and Regulus had no issue when he knew the last thing she needed from him was to initiate touch.
Regulus heard the whispers. Although none said anything out loud, he dared anyone to fucking do so and he would lose his gobstones for good.
He kept hearing those whispers that Vivien had liked him since the fifth year because she began dating at the same moment he did.
No, she liked him before that because she already wore a miniskirt in the Hogwarts Express after that rumour about Regulus being fond of her legs which was true.
He was but her clothes had nothing to do with it. It was an unfortunate or very fortunate coincidenceโthe miniskirts she wore through the whole fifth year. It was heaven on earth for teenage Regulus. The first time he saw her in one of those miniskirts, Pandora had to kick him in the ankle to remind him he was supposed to be in love with her.
There were also more rumours that Vivien liked Black long before that.
Since she spilled the shrinking potion on his head.
Since he gave her a Valentine's gift for the first time.
Since she put a dungbomb in his school bag.
Since they met for the first time during the potion class.
Certainlyโthat's exactly why she tried to curse him off the planetโbecause she fell so deeply in love with him at first sight.
Regulus thought that Edgar Bones would only confirm for him that there was no point in believing in humanity.
Regulus didn't even know how it happened but when he was passing Edgar with Cassie and Evan, Bones said something to them, and they turned and approached him at the Hufflepuff table.
"How are you?" He asked, fakely caring.
Regulus rolled his eyes, about to stand up after he barely sat down until Dorcas brought him back down by the sleeve of his jumper.
"Fine. How's Vivien?" Edgar asked sincerely that time, Regulus could tell.
"I think it's a step-by-step process for her to adapt to this whole situation but she's taking these steps." Dorcas answered.
Edgar took a spoonful of his soup.
"Good to hear that." He nodded his head, full mouth.
Edgar smiled to himself, worrying like everyone else.
Even Vivien's brothers asked him to tell them if she spoke to him because if she talked with them, she barely talked. The problem Edgar had was that she didn't speak to him at all. None took offence at her silence.
That's how Vivien was adapting to it on her own without anyone breathing on her neck, making her uncomfortable, hurrying her to fasten the things unintentionally.
"Did she talk to you about any of it?"
"About Nolan?" Evan specified.
Edgar shrugged as if to say, about anything really.
"If she talks to anyone, there is only one person."
Dorcas, Evan, and Edgar looked at Regulus, who sighed dramatically.
"I and Vi don't talk right now."
"Because of the article?" Edgar quirked an eyebrow, filling his mouth with another spoonful.
Regulus rolled his eyes. Not the article.
"And I thought, from all the people, you would like what you've read." Edgar furrowed his eyebrows, pointing his spoon at him.
"I don't read shite. I actually have a good taste." Regulus muttered, making him chuckle.
"Obviously since you went after little Miss France. You say you didn't read it but you know what Miss Skeeter wrote."
"More or less, yes, I do." Regulus shrugged, unbothered.
"And you don't think it's something worth talking through with Vivien?"
Regulus' eye twitched, glaring at Edgar.
"I think Vi already has a lot of things to talk through without conspiracy theories about our non-existing relationship, you cretin."
Edgar tilted his head, looking back at Evan and Dorcas raising their eyebrows.
Rosier was doing it in a more astonished manner. Dorcas seemed unimpressedโit was hard to tell if by Bones or Black. Both! By all the teenage boys! Every single one of the three she sat among was stupider than the previous one, going into a circle.
"I seeโwe're in denial. It's hard to imagine after four years of accepting you were the seeker and not the winner."
Regulus laid down his arm on the table and his chin in his hand. His eyes rolled as if something possessed him, listening to Edgar Bones' stupidity.
"I think you lost the point somewhere." He mumbled tiredly, close to yawning, bored with Edgar.
"I think you lost the point somewhere, Black." He snorted. "Wasn't the point to love Vi and to be loved by Vi?"
"I achieved the first oneโthe second seems unreachable. Thanks for rubbing the salt in the wound as a reminder." Regulus was about to stand up again but-
"Doesn't it? Merlinโฆ I thought Vivi was supposed to be unable to read correctly. Regulus, do me a favour and use the other head. Think for a second." Bones stopped him, knocking the spoon on his forehead, pointing at the head he meant.
Regulus kept staring at him.
Edgar sighed. "Bollocks. Black, I can assure you that your ignorance is not what made Vivien fall in love with you."
Regulus felt his heart quicken inside his chest at the words he desperately needed to hear. But it didn't come from the person he needed. And he only kept staring at Edgar with raised brows.
"Listen, I don't like that I have to agree on anything with O'Sullivan but he's right about one thing. How come as soon as Vivien thought you were dating another girl, she wanted to have another boy like her? Suddenly she was ready? Did she ever tell you why she began wearing her miniskirts? It took me a minute to connect the dots but highly she admitted once that, there used to be a boy. What kind of boy? The one who likes her figure obviously. Literally everyone knows how you were fond of hers after that rumour from over a year ago. Once I heard you two got together on that damn Astronomy Tower, I knew I had lost that girl for good."
Regulus blinked blankly.
"You think that Vivien has been secretly in love with me because she began dating and wearing miniskirts? Truly, that's some solid evidence. How didn't I notice it all sooner?" He gesticulated theatrically.
Ah, how Edgar adored that poisonous sarcasm of younger Black. This time it was Bones, who rolled his eyes, throwing his head with a loud groan.
"Are you even listening?" He asked, irritated. "Did Vivien ever tell you that you broke her heart? Because she did tell me. You were the first person to break her heart in her life. When she thought it was you to humiliate her, she was in pieces. Devastated. And suddenly, I became Eddie, and she was shagging me like never before. In June, she shagged me more than she fucked me through the four other months. And I don't even mean the number of times we had sex. I mean the intensity of it. Because she finally expressed what she liked, which I believe is someone who lets her go insane on his cock. Someone submissiveโno offence. Between us two, it used to be a fight because I was stopping her urges. But after you, she didn't let me because she was certain about her needs. She was on top in every understanding."
Regulus felt his soul leaving his body the more he listened to Edgar talk about his and Vivien's sex life. He knew it existed somewhere in the past but he chose not to know the details. He didn't want to know them. He already knew enough.
But Edgar talked so fastly that none of the three Slytherins could cut in the middle of his sentences, and they all listened to those details about how Vi fucked Edgar out of his mind, exactly how she did to Regulus. In the end, Edgar looked at them, pausing how passionately his hands were gesticulatingโin his thoughts reliving all those sexes he had with Vivien all over again.
It was more than clear why Vivien and Edgar flew so well together. They didn't know when to shut up and they didn't care.
"Anyway." He brushed his and Vivien's sex life to the side. "I knew I lost that girl after she fucked you. You know why? Because there is nothing better and worse than the first love. Someone you don't care about can't break your heart. You can't be disappointed or betrayed by someone you never expected anything from, Regulus. It's always a loved one to betrayโthat's why it hurts, doesn't it? For Vivien, it was a broken heart. You broke her heart no matter how much you honestly participated in that whole drama because she didn't know the truth back then. She thought you were at faultโdo you understand that? I love Vivien, mate. To the moon and back. And that's why I'm telling you this, Regulus. I'm happy for Fifi. She found someone who could treat her properly as she always deserved, when I couldn't. And that's on me. I want to see her happy. She's one of my bestest friends and I will never deserve her. And you're making her the happiest I've ever seen her. And she treats you how she never treated me or any boy. I can assure you of that. She is hooked around you as much as you are around her. Now, excuse me,"
Edgar finished fastly.
Before Regulus could argue, he left without another word, leaving the bowl of half-eaten soup and three Slytherins at the Hufflepuff table, coming closer towards Mary MacDonald, who awaited him at the Great Hall door.
Regulus' eyes trailed off after the boy for a moment. Then they travelled to his friends. All that time, some part of Regulusโthe hopeful one that wanted to be lovedโsearched for a sign that Vivien might like him. A few times, he could swear he saw signs.
But Vivien never really spoke on them. And he assumed it was her lack of understanding of what she was doing.
He doubted she had been in love with him for four years, but sometimes he thought to himself that she might had begun fancying him in the last months.
With how jealous and terrified she was that he was cheating on her with other girls.
With how she wanted his attention and time.
With how she complimented him on his appearance.
With how affectionate she wasโnot only for his cock but for hugs and kisses from himโto sleep and nap wrapped around him or being wrapped in his arms.
With how she tried a few times to charm him with her wordsโthat's how she called it when he was acting romantic towards her. She tried to be romantic with him.
And during Christmas break, Vi admitted to trying to flirt with him. After she asked him to be friends, they could stay only friends in that mess but it was him only who chose to be only friends in the end.
He had noticed she almost cried in front of him after he had told her he wanted to separate. She literally had asked him if he wanted to break off what was between them. Their romance.
She had cherished the date with him. She had wanted to do everything with Regulus at her side. She wanted his support, and she wanted to support him and take care of him.
Was Regulus that ignorant? Yes, he fucking was! He glanced at his friends.
"I think Vivien fancies me?" He said, unsure of anything.
They glanced at him, Evan nodding his head hesitantly.
"I think she might. Yeah."
Dorcas looked between the two clowns. She stood up, given up.
'Think this', 'think that', 'I think', 'you think'! Think, think, and think! Maybe better leave it to the girls since it's not the boys' strongest spell! Fucking teenage boys!
Regulus always wanted his feelings to be reciprocated but he never imagined what he would do if they were. He always imagined chasing Vivien, not winning her over. She seemed unreachable but he did hold her in his arms. So many times that after some time he lost count of how much she wanted to cuddle with him.
What the fuck was he supposed to do with that information?
Did Vivien even know she liked him like that? Why didn't she say anything?
Of course she didn't! Even if she did know, it was Vivien after all.
The one who wanted to be told everything straightforwardly, while doing everything but telling anyone anything straightforwardly.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't really want to talk with anyone but as she entered Martyle's bathroom and found Zahara there instead of Martha, she smiled softly. Sha had no interest in ignoring Zaharaโin contrast to Zahara herself.
Once Zahara realised it was Vivien who entered the bathroom, she collected herself from the windowsill. Vivien stopped as Zahara moved towards the door she stood at, throwing her cigarette in the sinks, intending to pass Vivien without any acknowledgement.
"Zahara?"
Vivien's brows knitted together in confusion. She could tell Zahara had been avoiding her since the end of the Christmas break. At first Vivien assumed it was one of those periods during which Zahara had to keep her head low to not stick out.
But Zahara didn't act friendly anymore from a distance even. She seemed to be resentful because whenever their eyes met, she stared at Vivien sharply. She acted coolly and coldly, like Vivien was nothing to her and not the closest friend she had. After the trial, old Zahara would at least smile at Vivien but new Zahara didn't. She walked away.
Now Vivien softly grasped her elbow when she was about to push past her.
"Did something happen? Why are you avoiding me, Maya?"
Zahara stopped, her eyes going everywhere, taking her time to decide whether to even answer. She looked straight into Vivien's eyes.
"Are you kidding me?" She chuckled in disbelief, humoured.
"What?" Vivien asked, her stomach doing a flip at uneasy tension between them.
Something boiled in Zahara as she stared at Vivien acting so innocently.
"Are you seriously going to act like nothing happened?!" She snapped.
"What are you talking about?" Vivien didn't want to fight with her best friend. If there was something she did to insult Zahara, she would fix it to be still friends with her.
"Are you that unaware?!" Zahara took a step closer. "Please, don't talk to me anymore. I have a reputation to hold and associating myself with you isn't the best choice, Vivien."
So it is about keeping her head low, but specifically because of me right now? Vivien tilted her head, her face laced with pain and sadness.
"What do you mean, Maya? I don't understand. Is it about the trial? But I thou-"
"No, it's about the dinner party." Zahara cut in shortly, slicing through the thick air.
"What?" Vivien tilted her head to the other side, conflicted.
"Regulus humiliated Antoine in front of everyone. Couldn't he keep his mouth shut?" Zahara emphasised angrily.
Oh. It was about Regulus' and Antoine's verbal clash. Vivien forgot it by now, quite lost in other thing.
"What? You're mad about that? But-" Vivien raised her brows, a realisation pouring down her like rain. She frowned firmly at Zahara. "Couldn't Antoine keep his mouth shut to begin with then?!" What the fuck!
Zahara scoffed desperately in her face, "Are you serious? What he said was just a joke."
"Well, I didn't laugh." Vivien argued.
After the first frustration was gone, Zahara replaced it with a classy but sassy attitude."I doubt you were supposed to."
"Yes, because I was the butt of it." Vivien crossed her arms over her chest.
"Jesus, not everything is about you, Vivien." Zahara rolled her eyes.
"No, but that joke was literally about me?" Vivien grimaced at the stupidity, disgusted.
That's why I hate people. Because they are stupid. But Vivien had never heard Zahara be stupid until then. She was annoyed, when it had been Antoine who provoked that argument. Why is Zahara mad at me?
"But can you really be surprised? The way you worded the baby thing after everyone saw you hump Regulus, whispering dirty jokes into each other's ears was begging to be joked about." Vivien felt furious, her neck prickling under the collar of her shirt. She narrowed her eyes.
That's not what happened!
"Humping?! We were just hugging! Perhaps you and Antoine should try to do so sometimes because all of your frustration is showing."
"This is why he joked! Because you go around slagging. You make your sex life everyone's business and think you are a victim when they talk about it!" Zahara whisper-shouted, pointing her red manicured nail at Vivien.
"It's hugging? Wait, so it is about the trial?!" Vivien felt her hands tighten into fists. Of all the people, she thought Zahara would be proud of her for speaking up. For fighting for herself.
"No!" She protested, throwing her hands. "I'm glad you got your justice but just because you were a victim once doesn't make you always a victim. Being a victim doesn't excuse your behaviour."
Vivien didn't know what would be worseโif Zahara confirmed it was about the trial or what she actually said in reality.
She poked her shoulder with her own nail, stabbing repeatedly, seeing red in urge to bite off Zaharaโs head.
"Isn't it ironic that suck-up bitch doesn't know about good behaviour either? For someone who spent their life kissing up to everyone's arses, I would think you have more manners than this." She stared her up and down, her eyes clear, her look firm.
If that's what was on Zahara's mind, Vivien said the first thought that was on hers.
"What the fuck did you just call me?!"
"A fucking suck-up hypocrite of a bitch. What? You will send an owl to Antoine for him to tell someone else to beat the shite out of me when I don't suspect it too?"
Vivien could have held the grudge against Antoine, but somehow it was Zahara who was expecting an apology from her and Regulus.
"And you think you're better than me? Slagging with an arseclown you were sold to as a fiancรฉe and you still think you have options? You think you have anything to say?" Zahara's face twisted poisonously.
Vivien had never seen that face before. Because Zahara never before hated her.
Zahara's six-foot-under-burden insecurities were showing. Vivien always judged her for how her family was. She saw how she disapproved of her family's practices. She thought she was better, even if she was just the same.
What the fuck is she on?, Vivien never judged Zahara. She pitied her. She was a victim of sick ideology blinded by her family. But Vivien never looked down on Zahara for that. It was never her fault. The faith that her own parents put her in was never her fault. Yet, Zahara accused her of judging her, when she was the one to judge Vivien in that bathroom, repeating those disgusting things they had heard those sick men at the table say about her during the dinner party.
"I do because I'm not pathetic. I slag around? You know more about Antoine's cock than you know about his personality, Maya. You see his dick more than you see him and I'm not surprised you have no say with your mouth always full. You think you're better than me because you keep your body untouched until your wedding night?"
Vivien poked her enough to have her stumble to the back as she took the step forward.
"For Antoine, you're no different than me. No, alright. You are. He actually owns you because he had to pay for you. How much have your parents priced you? Two pouches of gold? Or was it three? Hassani, the great house of the poorโalways seeking validation from the aristocracy and never the sacred twenty-ninth? Is that what they all call you?" She mocked with an overly nice voice, saying the rudest things she could think of.
"Fuck you, Vivien." Zahara gritted through her teeth/
"No thanks. I don't want to catch stupidity from you. But I will give you that one say. I won't talk to you anymore as you wish. Good luck finding a friend to accept constant avoidance of yours to hold this silly reputation. I hope that it is worth having absolutely none."
Still for a solid second, they stood, storming each other with their glaresโuntil Vivien took her finger away and backed the bathroom door, leaving Zahara and that wonderful reputation of hers to be alone. Because that's what she had left. Herself and that reputation.
Most of the friends that Zahara had were Vivien's, and the ones that weren't Vivien's but only Zahara'sโthere was none she could ever hope for help or support from.
But that's what Zahara chose. To that day, Vivien remembered how at the end of the second year Zahara had told her not to send her any letters during summer because her parents didn't like when she was sending them too much back and forth.
But Vivien had wanted to surprise her, and in the middle of summer break, she had chosen to send one expectational letter. Oh, how excited she had been to get one back until she had opened it and read it, embarrassed.
And to that day, Vivien never forgot how humiliated she was at the age of thirteen when she had gotten a letter from Mrs. and Mr. HassaniโZahara's parentsโthat read, Our Zahara is too nice to say it and it was truly beautiful of her to offer you some politeness at the beginning of the year but our Zahara does not wish to be your friend, Miss Beauchรชne. By now you should have found yourself some more fitting friends.
Vivien had felt embarrassed after she realised Zahara felt bad for her and pretended to be her friend, when she thought she had made a real one on her own. Then at the beginning of the third year, Zahara had apologised to Vivien explaining that her family didn't like her family and that her parents preferred if she didn't associate herself with Vivien. But she wanted to still be friends with Vivien, if Vivien wanted to still be friends with Zahara.
At the time young Vivien did. But not anymore.
It caused Vivien's heart to ache. Maybe it was for the best if they went their separate ways. Vivien deserved better and Zahara felt the same, even if Vivien tried her best unlike her.
Vivien didn't know what to do with herself. It was not the afternoon she wanted to have. She was so lost in that new reality. And she wanted to take control over it,but things were happening so out of her control.
She didn't want to lose a friend but Zahara was already gone before Vivien even realised it.
Vivien didn't even realise for a solid few weeks that she and Zahara weren't friends anymore because she was so used to Zahara's distance when they were friendsโshe didn't recognise that she quit their friendship until she told her so.
Vivien walked towards the only comfort she knew, her stomach twisting, the after-taste of the fight sour on her tongue like bile.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus heard a quiet knock on his door.
He laid his book and got out of his bed. When he opened the door, he found Vi leaning against the wall. They didn't talk for a while and even longer they didn't talk face-to-face only.
"Hi," She said quietly, still in her school uniform, even if it was hours after classes and so close to the evening.
He smiled faintly, "Hi,"
"Can I come in?" Vivien gazed at Regulus with her big eyes. He could tell she was feeling wretched and low-spirited deeply inside, even if she remained quiet on the topic.
"Did something happen?" He opened the door wider, letting her in.
"So much and nothing at all." She answered quietly, shrugging her shoulders, entering his dorm.
Vivien wished it wouldn't be too much if she asked Regulus to stay the night at his.
Not even in bed but on the couch, hugging one of the cushions that she probably would dress into his jumper in the middle of the night, too ashamed to do it when Evan and Regulus would see it with their eyes.
Chapter 48: sensitive subject
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien liked to give gifts but she didn't like to receive them. She couldn't mask her disappointment if she got something she didn't like or thought was ugly.
Vivien had her own moneyโif she wanted something, she would buy it. Ugly, unneeded things were the worst. She never knew what to do with themโshe didn't want them to begin withโthen it was not only anything but needed but also unlookable too.
So Vivien found birthdays unneeded. As an idea, Vivien didn't like birthdays. She wasn't poorโshe could recognise the privilege of having money. So why would she expect people poorer than her [which everyone is!] to buy her gifts that she didn't desire to have? And if the birthday wasn't about gifts, then what was it about?
Getting older? That's not a pleasant thought though! It was really horrifying. Vivien was supposed to celebrate that she was a year closer to her death? Absolutely not! Vivien didn't like life that much but death was as scary. At least she knew what to expect from lifeโnothing. She didn't know that much about death and the fear of it was too big for her to grow balls and ask the ghosts how it felt for them. She was frightened and it was the last thing someone would want to feel during their so-called special day. So what were those birthdays about? Developing as a person? Getting smarter? As time passed, people would always progress as individuals, whether they celebrated that another year had passed since the day they were born or not.
Vivien destroyed Evan's childhood the evening before her seventeenth birthday. They all sat in his and Regulus' dormitory listening to Vivien not shut up about birthdays. She already had infected Teddy with her pessimistic ideologyโhe had declined to have his fourteenth birthday a week before.
Vivien had indoctrinated him, when he was ten and she was thirteen. So they all only ate some cake to celebrate his birthday.
Theyโmeant all of Vivien's friends, Ambrosie with Freya, Kingsley, Hestia, Teddy with his friend Declan, and lonely Rosaire.
All Rosie's friends were girlsโthat he couldnโt stand that year after they turned boy-madโwhich the older teenagers joked about, calling him a lady's boy as he was blushing. Vivien didn't know since when she could tell he had not as much interest in his girl-friends as he had in Kingsley, like Teddy had in Hestia.
Vivien saw now even more clear the feelingsโbecause she understood them herself. It was a new perspective she got from reciprocating someoneโs romantic feelings. It didnโt appear Regulus figured out she liked him despite the rumours.
How could Regulus not figure it out?
Vivien literally pushed herself on the mattress that he, Evan, and Barty somehow shared, three teenage boys barely fitting on it together. Evan slept half on the floor and half on the mattress after Vivien pushed herself between Regulus and Barty, causing Regulus to push Evan from the other side.
After such a long time Regulus had nearly forgotten Vivien and he had ever happened to touch each other. He respected the time she needed. If she was ready, she would be ready.
And the message was clearโshe was a little ready for his touch, pushing herself on the mattress. Barty wasn't important to the two but he was still there. In his sleep he laid his hand on her small back as she rested on top of Regulus.
Vi laid chest to chest with Regulus, straddling his thighs with her legs, tickling and itching him with her hair that was all over his face.
Vivien wished only that she would like to see all the faces of the important people in her life in the morning as she woke. Her brothers and her friends thought it was doable. And it was her birthday wish.
Vivien, Cassie, and Pandora with little Clรฉmentine were supposed to take Regulus' bed, Rosie and Teddy taking Evan's. Regulus, Evan, and Barty were supposed to take the charmed mattress on the ground. And the sofa was all for Bambi and Freya.
Edgar, Sybill, and Emmeline promised to grab Hestia and Kingsley from their bedrooms in the morning and stop at the Slytherin common room despite the odds of getting hissed. It was the only gift Vivien dreamt of for her birthday.
That's how Vivien was wokenโEdgar and Sybie tickling the back of her feet. Her feet were dressed nicely in her socks.
Vivien shifted her legs, but the tickling didn't stop and she pulled them up to Regulus' sides, not kicking him in the crotch for onceโbut kicking Barty. Evan was too far on the edge of the mattress to be hit with the ricochet of her knees.
Barty groaned in pain, "Foxy..." He dropped on his back, taking his arm off of her.
It woke her and Regulus. Vivien felt Regulus' hand slip down from her bum to the side after he rested it there, enjoying it in his sleep.
There was no point in hidingโhe and Vi had been groping each other in the sleep, the rest already awakened. Regulus, Vi, and Barty were the last ones to wake up. And everyone saw Regulus grasping Vivien's piece of bum [including her brothers!, which he wasn't most proud of]. Regulus couldn't even do much about it, Vi held him hostage under her. He felt her hair move away. She turned on her other cheek to face him, smiling sweetly.
"Hi,"
"Hi," Evan replied quickly. "Vivi, explain to me how you had a solid piece of Regulus' bed for yourself and still chose to squeeze with us out here." He grumbled, pushing himself onto the mattress.
Obviously, what Vivien had to do was roll around on top of him.
"Shhh, don't weep around." Suddenly, she felt something stiff under her bum, on top of Evan.
"Oh," She mumbled, surprised, looking at him.
Evan chuckled, humoured at her. Regulus grasped Vivien and brought her back to him, knowing what that oh was about.
"Evan has an erection." Vi giggled.
"I do."
"And I know." Regulus murmured, hugging Vi to him.
"You have them all the time too, Rebulus."
"I doubt he has."
"He has them all the time, when we share a bed." The message everyone read was, he had on in that moment too!
"Ah-huh, that's the key. It's because you two share a bed." Evan poked her nose with his finger.
"Are you jealous that Regulus doesn't have them when you two share a bed?" She quirked an eyebrow at him.
"I'm sorry but you're not my type, Evan."
"You're not mine either."
"I think it's because you have the same time." Cassie yawned.
"How come?" Vivien raised her head to look at the girls in bed.
"Both went for tall brunettes with slim features, a sassy attitude, and the personality of a teenage boy."
"It might be because I'm an actual teenage boy." Barty mused sleepily.
Vivien hugged her cheek to Regulus' shoulder as he held her protective against his own erection. Her eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. She tipped her head, looking at Regulus.
"When did we start acknowledging that Barty and Evan crave each other?"
"We haven't. For now we acknowledge they are up to something together." Pandora sang melodically.
"Evan is definitely up to something right now. Barty, are you up to something right now too?"
"Yh-ym."
"Can I touch it?" Vivien joked.
Barty snorted, rubbing his face, "Just touch Regulus."
"He doesn't want me to touch him like that." Not entirely true!
"That's why you spent most of the night tossing on top of him?"
"Vi believes in the rule that the bed is where I am, don't you?" Regulus mumbled, glancing at the witch.
"Um-um." Vivien hummed, looking into his eyes, shaking her head weakly. "I believe in the rule that the bed is you, Rebulus."
It felt like Vivien was challenging Regulus about the rule that there was no sexual touch involved between them. She had thrown herself at him, which wasn't a violation but it felt like it with all of the different touches after over five weeks of no touches at all even the most pure and platonic ones.
Now she was observing him attentively, asking to touch his friend's erection when he had one against her sweet and small tummy. And she said quite a cute thing like that. It all felt like provocation of some kind.
Others had to feel the same way because Rosaire made puking noises.
"You are forgetting some of us here are children." He grimaced but of all the things Vi and her friends said that was the purest one. Unsurprisingly, Rosaire was disgusted with the cute but not the hormonal.
"Of the devil himself." Vivien murmured under her nose.
Regulus was the last one to collect himself after Vivien climbed off of him to her feet. They were wearing similar pyjamas of Regulus' jumper and some of his cotton bottoms. When he straightened, he saw the couch to be made and untouched.
Bambi and Freya stood at the doorway of the bathroom, brushing their teeth with Teddy. In one of the armchairs sat Hestia and at the foot of Evan's bed lay Kingsley, with Rosaire's feet almost in his face. On Regulusโ own bed, Cassie, Panda, Sybill, and Emmeline were squeezed together, giggling until Edgar threw himself on top, causing them to whine and kick him. Barty and Evan took the couch, one resting his head in anotherโs laps. Clรฉmentine sneaked to them, running away from Regulus' crowded bed. And in the middle of all of that Vivien stood beside Regulus, grinning widely.
His eyes met her at last.
"Hi," She repeated.
"Hi," Regulus smiled too, showing Vivien his sweet dimples that always made her yearn to throw herself onto him and kiss him all over his angelic face that had to taste like sweets of richest qualities.
They were gazing at each other like two fools.
"Are we acknowledging that they still want to fuck each other as if it was their first time?" Evan mocked.
Vivien squinted her eyes, her head snapping in his direction.
"Why can't we acknowledge that you want to bonk Barty?"
"He's still in denial." Barty said, closing his eyes and laying his head against the backrest.
"Pretty much." Evan agreed, also closing his eyes.
"Because Barty's a boy?" Vivien raised her eyebrows.
"No, because Barty's a Barty." He mumbled.
"Reasonable, I would say." Emmeline agreed.
Dorcas and Pandora approved, nodding her head, Sybill tittering.
"I have a question." Hestia cut in, sitting leg-crossed, holding the Regulus cushion. "Why is this cushion wearing a jumper?"
The Regulus cushion became an official term for that piece of decor. After Vivien spent most nights of last weeks sleeping on Regulus' and Evan's couch, they didnโt undress and dress again the Regulus cushion back and forth. Evan joked that Vi would bite everyone's heads off for seeing the Regulus cushion naked as she would to anyone, who saw actual Regulus naked with how territorial she was about him.
Regulus offered that he would take the sofa and Vi would sleep in his bed but she declined. It's literally his bed! She occupied the couch for most nights, becoming the third roommate in the dormitory and bringing even more things than beforeโthat Regulus had to collect and put in the right places.
The worst was collecting Vivien's used panties that she would leave on the bathroom floor among her dirty clothes. Oh, those laces!
Once Evan caught Regulus rubbing his finger on the material of Vi's panties before he put it in the laundry basket. They were looking into each other's eyes awkwardly, Evan dwelling on whether he should remain silent or not. Surprisingly, he chose silence.
Sometimes being a perverted teenager was stronger than Regulus, and he couldn't stop himself from those small pleasures like touching Vivien's panties and imagining how she looked in themโonly them.
Vi was leaving her clothes behind intentionallyโespecially her panties. She didn't know why but she wanted Regulus to desire her.
After the trial, she was uncomfortable with being naked under everyone's looks, feeling like everyone only saw her as a victim. She didn't want to be only a victim but that's what the trial was aboutโabout her victimisation. Still, she didn't want Regulus to think about her differently after the trial. She wanted him to know that despite the hard time she had, she was still his Vi. A slightly sexual teenage girl, who wanted Regulus' attention and gentle eyes on her body. But only Regulus'!
Because Vi wanted to be only his. She didn't want to be Nolan's victim, Jaime's first time, Marls' one time thing, Eddie's intimate ex-friendโand anything else.
Vivien wanted to be Vi, and she only wanted to be Regulus' Vi.
The night of her birthday, she woke at three, separated with the pillow from two other girls. She felt ready to touch Regulus and be touched by him. Of course Regulus didn't waste time. Out of old habits, he grasped her bum kindly like the signature on the agreement between them two that he accepted her as his Vi and only his Vi. It wasn't a brutal touchโit was tender and caring. Through the cotton fabric, he drew his finger in circular movements on her bum cheek.
Vivien didn't even know if he woke or did it in his sleepโbut she smiled, hugging him. And as always, she found herself on top of him. That's how they tangled together like that.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien never knew that people were against different sexualities until she lived in a muggle countryside in Wales. Manon used to associate herself with a couple of women. Vivien remembered how those two cherished her, complimenting her in her childhood. They used to call her little rose or rosie. Such a beautiful child I was!
Vivien's papa used to be mad, if he had happened to be around, when the couple was around. Little Vivien thought he was envious because of how much mama laughed when she was with them like she never laughed with him. But after she found out people dating people wasn't such a norm, she wondered if papa had hated people who date people other than of the opposite sex to their own.
It would be weird of Jean-Claude because Beauchรชne women were known for being eccentric lovers, dating whatever was dateableโincluding women. Vivien wondered what his reaction would be in another life where he was alive and sheโinstead of being Regulus' fiancรฉeโwould be some teenage girl's girlfriend. Vivien never again acted on her needs towards girls after she had tried to kiss Zahara [for their first time] in their third year but Zahara rejected that gesture, elaborating that she didn't feel the same and a lot of girls wouldn't, liking only boys.
But Vivien had one chance to experiment with another girl after Marlene had confessed to Vivien that she had fancied her.
Vivien knew Sirius slept with anyone, who was down to fuck. She knew Remus was one of those peopleโlike ninety-nine percent certain.
She knew that Marlene described herself as horny for anyone who wasn't a man. Vivien knew that Peter didn't like to sleep around and chose to wait for someone he would tangle with spiritually. Marlene loved women more than men and Peter liked personality over body.
Vivien knew Sybill and Emmeline were too friendly with each other to be only friends, though she never saw them actually acting openly on being more than friends. But it was obvious that once they would be ready to date, they were each other's to date.
Vivien knew Rosaire was called some muggle offensive word at the beginning of his first year because his roommates thought he was checking out older boys. Vivien nearly had rocked little shites' shites. Rosaire was doing the same thing he did with Kingsley, and Vivien didn't see what was wrong with it.
When she was younger, she also checked out older boys and not only boys. Every kid has fantasies about romancing with older kids sometimes!
Vivien knew Barty was a slut for make-out sessions with anyone but in bed he was looking for someone similar to himโhaving a penis.
And Cassie was all the same and opposite at the same time. She was looking for someone who is penisless like her.
Vivien giggled to herself, reading a book. Her friends lurked at her from their own books as she wasn't reading hers. She was at the library with Cassie, Barty, Aurora, and Regulus. They were all reading. They all read a lot, and Vivien found it cool that she shared a hobby with her new friends although she hated reading as much as she loved it. They all had different tastes. Vivien was the most similar to Cassie and Evanโreading novels but for giggles. Evan would take random books, and read them out loud without context, humouring Vivien.
"What is it, Vi?" Pandora asked in a whisper, peeping away from her lecture.
"I realised something." Vivien put her book down on the table, glancing at her friends, whispering, "Isn't it hilarious that youโRoraโhelped Evan befriend Cassie because he wanted to date her when everyone still thought she and Barty would date in the future for her wanting to date girls and for you wanting to date Barty now and Barty wanting to date youโEvan?" She pointed her finger between everyone involved in the story from the fourth year.
"Who said I wanted to date Evan?" Barty squinted his eyes, challenging Vivien. "Perhaps I want to part his arse?"
She scoffed in disbelief, "That's absurd! You're the freaky one! You want him to part your arse!"
"Since when do you take hints, foxy?" Cassie chuckled.
"I don't but I have an amazing pattern-reco-" Vivien stopped in the middle of the sentence, gazing at her friends with eyes widening. She figured out that she shouldn't say it. It was suggesting that she already saw someoneโlike Siriusโwanting to have his arse parted by someoneโlike Remus. If they asked where she already saw it, she knew it wasn't her place to talk about the matter.
"Nevermind." She murmured, shutting her mouth.
But Regulus had his brows raised, like his friends did.
"Vi, can I be bold?" Dorcas tilted her head.
Regulus worried since she admitted to liking girls that Vivien had urges that were occluded or obstructed. He worried about her liking girls more than boysโthat he never had a chance with her. Now he was considering that perhaps she thought she liked girls over boys and that's why coming to terms that she might like him was weird for her. But he didn't want to touch on the topic of her sexuality. It seemed sensitive.
Vivien nodded her head at Cassie, who smiled.
"Did you want to have your legs parted by any girl? Like ever?"
Vivien took the hint that they all misunderstood what she wanted to say, thinking she was the original she recognised Evan's and Barty's closeness from.
She observed her friends. Evan winked at her, encouraging her. She looked to Regulus, who kept reading his book.
Vivien sighed, confessing, "I once parted a girl's legs."
Fine. Regulus stopped pretending to read, closing his book and glancing at Vivien.
"Did you like it?" He cut in the conversation, causing Evan and Barty to snort under their noses, Pandora to roll her lips into her mouth and Dorcas to chuckle cheekily.
"She had nice-"
"Not her body, Vi. The act."
"Oh," Vivien let out, surprised. "I kind of did."
"Did she do the same to you?"
"No. None. Ever." She said laconically, focusing on Regulus, her eyes intense.
They were gazing at each other from across the table. Her eyes told Regulus something along the lines of, you teasing my pussy, were the closest to licking it out. Regulus took pride in that, glad no one ruined the experience for her. He imagined that in future he could show her how pleasant it could be.
Regulus didnโt know why he was certain he would ever perform another act with Vi but he wasโeven if they didn't share a sex life at the time because Vi didn't have one without him as he didn't have one without her. And he was confident in his talent of pleasing Vivien properly. He was meant to be a husband or nothing, so he worked with what he had and he mastered it!
But first, he had to know the most important thing.
"Did you enjoy making love with that girl more than you enjoyed making it with boys?"
Vivien blushed, her eyes lowering to her book at such a blunt question.
"I have never made love with anyone before you." She whispered, glancing at him for a split second and away again.
Regulus looked to the sides at his friends, who had the same understanding that it was an answer in itself. Vi enjoyed Regulus more than she enjoyed that girl or other boys.
Pandora, Evan, Dorcas, and Barty never minded Regulus and Vi talking about sex. They were wizards after all, nosy, loving the spicy or hot details! Though Pandora perfectly masked herself, Dorcas, Barty, and Evan didnโt even make an effort to.
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ย ย ย ย ย In February more than for her birthday, Vivien was excited about Valentine's Day. For the first time, she had someone special to give a gift to. It was the weekend before.
After the library Vivien returned with Pandora and Barty to the Ravenclaw Tower, wanting a nice evening with a long bath. She had been attempting to spend a night at hers.
That night, Vivien needed to take care of the gift she was preparing for Regulus. But she didn't even get to the bathtub, troubled with finding underwear to wear. Fucking period!, she needed pairs of panties.
That's why Vivien entered Regulus' and Evan's dormitory like it was her own, Evan lying on his bed, his head in the pillows, finishing his random book that he borrowed from the library. He glanced at Vivien, who seemed to be back to her rootsโwildness.
"I need my panties back." She said, closing the door.
"Look in Regulus' drawers."
"Where is he?"
"Showering in the bathroom." Right, he has a patrol.
"Okay." She walked up to the boys' dresser and opened one of Regulus' drawers with his own underwear. There was a pile of her nicely folded panties, all the few bras she owned, and a few camisoles of hers too. She chose between the underwear she would take with her and the one she would leave for Regulus to seeโso he would think about her whenever he opened the drawer.
"Also I think there might be some in his trunk. In the inside pockets. I saw him put away some days ago."
Bored but focused on his book, Evan murmured when Vivien was putting undergarments in her school bag. Vivien furrowed her eyebrows. That didn't make any sense. Why would Regulus put my underwear in his trunk?
Evan had her interest peaked and she shut the drawer and reached for one of the two trunks that stood at the side, dragging it flat on the ground, crouching down, and opening it.
It was emptied. She sneaked her hand into one of the pockets. Pantiesless. The other one. Pantiesfull. She felt some cotton and another soft material. She dug them out curiously. One of the panties was hers. The cotton one. The old one that Regulus kept after Vivien stole his virginity. He actually has them! She hated the panties but there was at least a nice-to-remember story attached to them. They were white with green clovers sewn on them. And they did bring some luck to Vivien but then she lost them and a lot of misfortune happened afterโฆ
With a small smile, she put them away where they were. She examined the other undergarmentsโit was a set of lingerie. It had a lace trim. It was pretty and sensual of rich material in ashy green colourโso close to Regulus' favourite emerald one but so far. The lace itself was white.
But it wasn't Vivien's. And Vivien's face fell.
Oh... It wasn't Vivien's lingerie that Evan saw Regulus secretly collect along with her panties in his trunk.
"It isn't mine." She barely spoke out.
Vivien felt her chest ache, her throat hurting like the lump inside was a stone scraping.
Evan looked at her, lace lingerie hanging from her finger. He realised his mistake. What a cretin he was!
"Oh," He didn't seem as surprised, more like caught redhanded.
And Vivien knew that he knew where exactly the lingerie came from. From what girl did it comeโfrom what girl Regulus took it off and saved it for himself along with her panties. Rosier didn't realise he ratted on stupid Black until then!
As always fate hated Vivien, turning her life into a greek comedy.
Black opened the bathroom door and Vivien immediately sprang, turning to him with the lingerie hanging from her finger. He saw the word betrayer shooting like a dagger from her stare, her green eyes all teary. Regulus stood there, rotted to the groundโshocked.
Of course he is!, when he thought she wouldn't catch him. Now she knew why he needed to shower before the patrol. Because he was going there with intentionโฆ
Yes!, yes!, yes! To meet his girlfriend! That has to be it! Vivien swung the lingerie at Regulus.
Regulus heard Vivien cry out, โShe has nice taste!"
He got hold of the lingerie but before he could react, the door slammed with a thud. He looked to Evan, who sat at his bedside.
"I swear I forgot. I'm so fucking sorry, Reg, mate."
Vivien ran out of the dormitory, her chest tightening. She sobbed out her choked breath. Stupidulus!
She pushed past Barty walking through the Slytherin common room.
"Vi?" He noticed she was weeping, hurriedly rushing, holding her school bag to her chest. She ignored, stomping towards the staircase and running up the steps.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien laid on her bed, crying hysterically.
Sybill and Pandora tried to calm her down but she kept turning back on them. When they cornered her from both bedsides, she shouted at them that Regulus was romancing other girls behind her back! She ran to the bathroom.
They understood she didn't want to talk about it. After some time, she left the bathroom and laid down on her bed. They didnโt stress her out more.
Pandora and Sybill doubted that what Vi said was true.
No. Pandora knew it wasn't true. Regulus was her best friend and if she knew he would be capable of cheating on one girl with another, he wouldn't be her friend.
When Regulus entered Vi's dormitory, she was sobbing so badly that she was gasping. It wasn't of the carefree nature as she always had that reaction laughing so hard that she held her aching belly, lacking a breath.
Now Vivien was lying with her back turned on him, curled into a ball, squeezing the pillow.
Sybill sat on her own bed, back against the wall, writing something down in her diary. Pandora occupied the bathroom.
Regulus bowed his head at Sybill and dragged his feet. Evan told him, Barty, and Dorcas what happened and Regulus realised how badly Vivien misread the situation. He gently approached the side of Vivien's bed she laid, hugging one of her pillows tightly for some comfort. Once she noticed him, she immediately turned to the other side with her pillow.
Vivien was weeping so much that she was heating up and sweating, still in her Ravenclaw uniformโeven shoes. Regulus followed her to the other side.
"Vi, please." He murmured, approaching.
"No!" Vivien cried out
He crouched down face-to-face with her.
"Yes." He argued silently and simply, observing her poor swollen face with red nose and cheeks.
"You are a liar. A betrayer. A brute!"
"Towards so many people but never towards you, Vi."
"To me especially!" She wept out and turned to the other side once again.
Regulus didn't follow this time, moving onto the bed, sitting down on it.
"You know what?! I don't care!" Surely. That's why Vivien cried so much that she couldn't breatheโbecause she didn't care at all. "I sleep with different people too!"
The secure part of Regulus remembered that Vi claimed she was loyal to him and she wouldn't cheat on him after he thought she was flirting with Benjy Fenwick sharing some private letters.
And he knew that lately she was in no state for intimacy, avoiding touch to protect and secure herself.
"No, you don't." He said too confidently for Vivien's liking.
No... I don't... But Regulus didn't need to know that. Not in a moment like that!
"I do too! I lick girls and ride cocks!" Regulus looked at Sybill, who tried her best to pretend she wasn't there, even if she could perfectly hear and see them.
After a solid second, Vivien felt movements on the mattress. She felt Regulus' warmth closely. He dared to lay down behind her. She scooped further away from him to the edge of her mattress.
"Tell me their names and I will tell you the name of the girl I've made love with."
And he made love with her too! Vivien sobbed out loud.
Of course Regulus worded it stupidly. He was wrong for that one, wanting to smack himself. Why did he have such an easy way to charm her and the hardest one to comfort her in distress?!
"Tell me their names, Vi." He whispered gently.
They lay in silence that lingered. Vivien kept sobbing. Regulus gave her sixty seconds to list some names. She didn't.
"Vivien... Vi." He murmured.
"Don't call me that." She whispered crying.
"I'm not calling you anything. That's the name of the girl I've made love with."
Vivien squeezed the pillow stronger, pieces of her heart aching. It hurt that Regulus tried to make her feel pitiful and sentimental.
"I don't care!"
Regulus reached to the pocket of his trousers, digging in it for a lingerie Vi found. He took it out and stretched his hand over Vi, so the lingerie would fall on the mattress in front of her.
Vivien shut her eyes tightly, Regulus dropping the lingerie right in front of her face to poke it into her face with all the laughter he would later have.
Regulus already learned that Vivien wasn't projecting her bad opinion about him on him.
She was projecting her own bad opinion of herself on him, so insecure she always looked at mistreatment through the question, what did she do wrong? She always assumed she was at fault, guilty to be mistreated. And she always assumed she was being mistreated when she feared it so much. She always thought she deserved to be mistreated.
"Vi, there's no other girl." Regulus swore, his tone so serious but gentle.
"You've collected the underwear from someone else like you've collected my panties. It's not mine! I'm many thingsโbut not stupid!" Vivien shouted, opening her eyes, directing her stare at the set of lingerie spitefully.
"No. I hid it away. You're right. It's not yours but I hoped it would be." Regulus admitted scooping after Vivien. "Vi, it's new lingerie. All in your measurementsโin your size."
"What?" She swallowed.
She frowned, hesitantly looking at him over her shoulder.
"I bought it from my mother's good friend. I bought it for you. Back in your family's residence when I saw you change the style of your undergarments, I got the idea. I measured some of your undergarments and sent the measurements to the lady. She made it for you. I bought it for Valentine's Day as a gift for you." He slowly whispered. "If you look on the inside on the back, it has your initials sewn on. I promise I'm not cheating on you either and never would."
Vivien listened. What Regulus said sounded sensible. She unsurely untangled her hands from the pillow and took hold of the panties, looking around for initials. ๐ฑ.๐.๐ต. There they were, in panties and in bralette.
Vivien took a deep shaky breath in as if she was choking until then. Because she was.
She let go of the lingerie and pillow. She turned around, facing Regulus, who was smiling sadly.
Vivien had reddish wet cheeks stained with tears and sweat.
"Vi, you're enough. You're perfectly enough." Regulus brushed the sweaty strands of hair off her sweaty forehead.
"And you're not a-" Vivien's voice got stuck. She couldn't say it.
Regulus laid a hand on her cheeks, grazing it gently.
"A cheater? I found the angel on this ugly undeserving planet, and how stupid would I have to be to try and replace it with someone else? I'm an arseclown, not an idiot, Vi."
"I thought you found someone who did all the things you wanted them to do. Someone who said the things you wanted to hear. That I bore you and you found someone else to-to-"
"I don't want to love anyone else other than you, and if I'm not making love with you, I won't make it ever again. I love only you, Vi."
Vivien could feel both halves of her heart grow together in one piece after breaking in two.
"I wanted to give this lingerie to you but with all that happened in the last month, I began thinking it wasn't appropriate and that's why I hid it awayโto wait for another occasion."
Vivien smiled sadly.
"Did you design it? That's your vision? Something you would like to see me wear?" She whispered, sniffing, her heartache disappearing.
"Yes, I choose material, colour, and style."
"You chose the colour? I thought you would choose your favourite one."
"What are you talking about? I did choose my favourite colour."
"What?" Vivien furrowed her brows together.
"This green is my favourite." Regulus said softly, his eyes kind, his finger caressing her cheek.
"Of all of the colours?"
"Of all the greens. The beautifullest green of the forest bathed in mist like the eyes of my little angel." Regulus assured, smiling gorgeously.
Vivien didn't even connect the dots but the shade would match her eyes. She thought the emerald green matched Regulus. She spent all that time thinking it was his favourite colour.
It had been until Regulus met Vivien and her wild gaze. Since he was twelve-years-old, the colour never bore him. Not once.
"Vi, Vi, Vi. My beautifullest Vi." Regulus was gazing so deeply into Vivien's wild eyes, pacifying her with his steady ones.
She felt the urge to kiss him. Consume him. Melt into him. Do everything at once. Love him. Vi wanted to love Regulus.
Vivien tried to swallow down the lump in her throat, her lips parting to tell him. She wanted so badly to, but the bathroom door creaked open. Vivien remembered Pandora was there, so was Sybillโno matter how well she pretended she wasn't.
Regulus' eyes didn't even twitch in their directions even once. Instead they stayed on Vivien. She moved towards him and he understood it. Vivien curled against Regulus' chest. She felt his arms wrap around, cuddling with her, protecting her from all of that ugly undeserving world. And she cuddled to his poor heart, resting her forehead against his chest.
Regulus sneaked his hand on Vi's back under layers of wet clothes that she sweated in, stressed about Regulus hurting her. It didn't disgust him. It was all because of how distressed she was at the thought of him hurting her.
Regulus was the cause of Vivien's distress being so intense.
But certainly Vivien didn't care about Regulus like that at all. She cried so badly she got the fever but sure, it wasn't like that at all.
He gently massaged her bare back to soothe her nerves until he heard her breathing get loud and steady in sleep.
Chapter 49: the duality of lingerie
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus made their amends.
But nothing to do with Vi ever was crystal clean for Regulus, no matter how much they cleared the air.
At breakfast with foolish smiles, Regulus and Vivien gave their gifts.
Vivien wanted to keep the unlucky set of lingerieโbut it wasn't all Regulus had for Vi. He wasn't such a perv to think so crudely and cruelly.
Vivienโs eyes flickered friskily once he gave her a set of dry pastelsโor rather the wooden box consisting of a few floors packed with pastelsโthree hundred sixty-five shades of pastels for every day of the year.
Vivien smiled. She never before drew with pastels but she always wanted to try. She simply never felt encouraged to get away from her comfort of paints.
Vivien gave Regulus a new journal. He accepted it with a smug smirk, his eyebrows wiggling slightly. Its cover was ashy green shade.
Vivien needed a few tries to transform it into the perfect shade but after Regulus confessed such a sweet thing, she thought it was worth the effort. And it was better than some boring black colour or even the emerald one.
"Do we want a second book dedicated to us?" Regulus teased, his eyes sparking riskily.
Vivien blushed.
The truth was, she was too shy to even read the first one, uncertain that she was prepared to read how much Regulus loved her.
It felt like a lot.
Too much.
But in a good sense.
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ย ย ย ย ย In the afternoon Vivien didn't come for dinner. Regulus didn't think anything of thatโuntil two cupids flew to the usual spot he and his friends sat at.
"How the tables turned, Mister Black." One of two smiling cupids commented after landing down on the table, holding a medium-sized bouquetโthe biggest Vivien could probably handle herself comfortably.
It consisted of white liliesโstargazers. Stargazers faced confidently the skyward, all blushing velvet soaked in whiteโpetals laced with white like a soft sigh, but painted along with wild pinks and dark freckles that the moon must had scattered with stardust. They were lush and majesticโnot bowing its head, opened wide, drunk on the moonlight, perfumed so sweetly it smelled scandalously.
Stargazers were flowers that looked like a promise whispered at duskโdelicate but refined, lovely but dangerous. Today they held ld a promise of the dusk Regulus could have.
Like Vivienโthey gazed at the sky to remind the starsโlike Regulusโthat they were not the only things that burned.
Regulus saw how Pandora smiled knowingly despite her effort to act as surprised as everyone else. All his friends did. Obviously, even if they didn't know Vi was planning something, they could imagine she was.
"Let me guessโa secret admirer?" He thought it would be ironicโsomething Vivien would enjoy.
The cupids didn't think so, shaking their heads eagerly.
"Uh-huh!" One declined.
"One of your enthusiasts, Mister Black." The other corrected.
Still, there was only a single person who described herself as a Regulus' enthusiast.
The cupids bowed gracefully and flew away. Regulus put his fork and knife down to take the bouquet. He and Evan looked between flowers until he found a small parchment roll and took it out.
Regulus glanced between his friends, who observed him attentively. He unrolled the piece of parchment.
"
๐๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฐ๐ช๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป,
๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช๐ท ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ,
๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ,
๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฏ๐ต๐ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ต๐ธ๐๐ฎ๐ป.
๐ก๐ธ๐ธ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐พ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ. ๐๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ท๐ฎ๐ป. ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ฎ, ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ท๐ฐ๐ป๐.
๐ฅ.๐.๐.
"
Vivienโs writing was a little melted from the hothead she suffered from.
Although Regulus had barely consumed his dinner, he thought to himself that he was very hungry!
Evan peeped to read the secret message. What fucking manaces Reg and Vi were to each other and themselves. Evan could swear corners of Regulus' lips twitched into a smirk as he reread the message.
Regulus was up to some devious shite with Vi as much as Evan was with Barty. And Vi would claim, It's nothing, on her behalf. And Regulus would claim, He is keeping it to himself, on his behalf.
Keeping what to himself exactly? Hands? Certainly not enough!
Evan and Barty smirked at each other after they had watched Regulus prepare for the dinner like he hoped something exactly like this would happenโgetting the invitation for Valentine's Day shagging.
None could tell when Regulus and Vivien built that fervour, sexual frustration, and tension. A week before, Vivien was still healing with a thought of the new reality she lived in and Regulus was examining her from afar.
But at that moment, Regulus put the parchment into the pocket of his trousers. He slowly stood up, grasping the bouquet in his hand. He looked around his friends.
"Don't wait for me with a patrol." He directed his words and eyes at Barty and Dorcas.
That fucker was so confident! Who the hell did Vivien and Regulus try to fool? Each other?! That's all they did so far!
"Don't forget that it's a class day tom-" Pandora beamed lightly.
Regulus turned around, walking backwards, passing students sitting on a bench.
"For you, kids." He quirked his eyebrow. The urge to cum was stronger than the expectation to behave.
"Yes, sir." Dorcas snorted, saluting after him.
And Regulus marched away, leaving his and Viโs friends with a thought that it might be the day.
The evening.
The night.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien lay on her belly, hands under her chin, feet swinging slowly in the air. She waited patiently. Minutes passed since she entered the Room of Requirement that now turned into a very nicely looking bedroom as she imagined. She could tell Regulus felt the same need as her to be intimate since the lingerie incident. The intensity was built between them to the burning temperature.
She was prepared to have Regulus refuse her offer if she misread him or wanted more than he was ready to give, like at the Astronomy Tower during the New Year party, but she had her hopes high.
The person who doesn't take a risk never gets to drink champagne. Vivien was even more prepared for Regulus to accept her offerโthe one of making love on his rule. However he wanted to play it out. With strings attached, detached, burning, turning into dust. Whatever! Just fuck me with love! Whatever he wanted after the act, she would accept. She needed to have him at least for a few hours.
His hands on her body.
Shivers he gave her with his lips.
Lovebites he would take off her skin.
When she lay on her belly, she felt excitement stirring her insides like she was having an insane broomstick fly with some madman. Just at the thought of Regulus being close to her, little and silly she had goosebumps on her neck and back.
And the door clicked open.
Regulus stood in the doorway with the bouquet of stargazers she sent to him through the cupids. They gazed at each other and Vivien raised herself on her elbows.
Regulus entered the room further without a word, subtly glancing around.
It was only the needed furnitureโan enormous bed with pink bedsheets and two nightstands on its sides. And a nice white, fluffy rug with two pinkish armchairs and a small white coffee table with golden elements under a wall with the armchairs.
Somewhere stood a small table with some chocolate sweets, strawberries, and baked goods. The walls were pastel pink, and under the ceiling were hanging garlands of red hearts. Around the room, candles floatedโsmelling so sensually, so subtly, but so addictively. Very Vivienous room.
The witch observed Regulus as she slowly laid back down. He grasped the vase from the small coffee table and moved towards the other doorโthe bathroom one, where he filled the vase with water and placed flowers in it. And like a good boy, he washed his hands.
Regulus left the bathroom, putting the vase full of flowers now in its previous place. He casually came closer to the bed, kicked off his shoes, and joined Vivien on the mattress laying down in a similar position to hersโhe laid flat on his tummy, instead of kicking his feet like a teenage girl.
They glanced at each other.
"Hi," Regulus started, his teasing tone subtle.
"Hi," Vi smiled innocently, her eyes moving up and down along his body dressed as alwaysโappealing to Vi with his cigarette trousers and loose jumperโand that day's choice was purpleโa rare choice.
Regulus' eyes trailed Vivien's figure too. She was wearing cigarette trousers and he had to admit they looked way better on her and her meaty bum than they did on him. She was wearing a purple jumper tucked in with a polo neck in lavender colour underneath. And on her moving feet, she had white lace socks with frills, which caused Regulus to wonder how much Vi actually had lace on her body that afternoon? He wanted to see that himself.
Vivien bit on her bottom lip, Regulus' eyes travelling along the lines of her body and back to her face.
"Let me guess, Viโyou need some inspiration for your new painting?" He mused with a soft smile, which advertised him as a perfect inspiration for it.
Vivien smiled devilishly in disbelief. I created a beast! A monster! That's the boy we all call a prude? At best, he can fuck some prudes.
"Fuck you, Regulus." She chuckled cheekily.
"Please, do."
Vivien silenced, staring at him, her eyes squinting slightly, her head tilting.
"You know what, Regulus? No." She said seriously, standing up from the bed. There is no time to waste!
Regulus sat up after her, ready to bite his tongue off and beg on his knees for forgiveness if he said something to Vivien's dislike.
She stopped at her bedside, nearly tearing her jumper over her head and ripping her polo neck, until she stood only in a bra that he had gifted.
"Lady always goes first and a fine gentleman like you should know that." Vivien said, her small belly sucking in, her breasts presenting round in the bra.
Did Regulus have hallucinations? He blinked but Vivien still stood there, only wearing the bra. Smoothly, he spun towards her, sitting on her edge of the bed.
He was smirking arrogantly, his eyes adoring her chest.
"Go on, Vi. Trousers too. Gentlemenโincluding myselfโknow they can't pleasure a lady through them."
Vivien smiled, unbuckling her belt and unzipping her trousers, soon tearing them down. At last, she kicked them off to the ground.
What Regulus learned from the last time was that if Vivien was wearing a matching set of bra and knickersโthey were staying on until she said otherwise. This was one of those times as she had on the set of lingerie he bought for her. It was a very blunt manifestation in Regulus' opinionโbut seemingly a sensible one, coming true in such a short time.
Vivien watched Regulus contemplate her body. Her curves. Her tits in that bralette.
He nodded to himself, approving of everything he saw. He looked at Viโs face.
"Swirl around, please." He said politely in a pleading toneโnot demanding but wishing.
Vivien slowly turned around, arching a little to present her curves to Regulus better. She looked at him over her shoulder with a cute smile.
"Stop now, please."
Vi paused, Regulusโ eyes falling on her bum, contemplating that beautiful piece of art. He reached for Vivien's waist and stood up. He took her in his arms wrapping them around her.
Vivien felt him closely, his crotch against her bum. With his nose, he pushed her hair off of her shoulder to uncover her neck for his lips, his breath a tickle and a whisper.
"Tonight you're going to devastate me, Vivien. Destroy. Demolish. So badly. You're going to be my death and I will beg you for a slow one." He whispered into Vivien's ear, his soft lips stroking against its edge, feeling his hands warm her belly but one of them slipping down under the material of her panties on her pubis. Silly, she felt goosebumps on her neck and back.
Vivien felt the thrills of arousal in her insides. She squeezed her bum against Regulus' crotch, a sign to back to the bed.
"If you're going to pleasure me, I need to sit down first or you will be collecting me from the floor in the middle of an act because of the mess you make me, Regulus." She whispered to him, his fingers played with her pubic hairโthe one he missed so much the last time.
Regulus walked backwards to the bed, Vi with him. He sat down at the edge of the bed, making a place for her to sit down between his legs. She did it with his hand still in her panties.
It appeared to Regulus that Vi knew exactly what she desired, her legs folding on the mattress far apart from one another for the whole room to see with no shame. Regulus didn't stroke her slit with his soft finger. Vivien sucked her belly in pleasure. He could feel she was a bit wet by nowโso greedy that she waited for him in bed, imagining how she would fuck him.
Vivien tried to rest, lying her back against Regulus' chest. She felt the soft material of his jumper and laid the back of her head on his shoulder. They glanced at each other.
"Panties stay on?" Regulus murmured.
"For now, they do." Vivien didn't know why but there was something exciting about doing dirty things in that sinless lingerieโthe one that looked so heavenly but was about to be used for the most hellish goal. The duality of lingerie.
"Yh-ym." Regulus hummed, liking the idea of profaning the lingerie he bought for Vi but he needed to make it workable.
To Vivienโs dissatisfaction, he slid his hand out of her panties. She furrowed her eyebrows. He chuckled cockily.
"Raise your bump." He instructed, and Vivien did slightly. Soon she felt the cool air embracing her pussy, after he stretched the linen material to the side of her cunt. She flopped down.
One of Regulus' hands warmed Vivien's belly and fingers of the other drew her slit. She hitched a breath, her body longing for a touch, missing it.
Regulus teased Vivienโs entrances in circles with his middle finger. She closed her eyes in pleasure, holding her thigh, trying to part her legs more. He smeared her juices all over her to make her all slippery. The hand on her belly moved high to her chestโunder the bra on one of her breasts.
Vivien laid her smaller hand on top of his playing with her nipple. She moaned at him, circling her clit. It was so sensitive to touch but so needy to be touched.
Vivien grasped Regulus' thigh after he gave even more smoothness to his movements and added the ring finger, massaging her how she liked it.
Vivien felt that throbbing sensation of desperation in her cunt. She squeezed Regulus' thigh.
"Inside, darling." She mumbled out with her cute French accent that made Regulus feel blurry and mistyโdrunk.
"Fingers?" He murmured.
She nodded her head against his shoulder.
Regulus had never fingered Vivien before but did he mind doing so? Oh boy, he would never dare to. In his sleep, he dreamt about pleasing her in every way he could think of. At first Regulus entered Vi with one finger, letting her feel if she was comfortable with that kind of act. He felt her sucking in his finger, slightly moving on it. With another thrust, he added his pointer finger to the play.
Did Vivien water her organism like it was a withering plant? Yes! And she felt the excitement in her tummy, when Regulus was fingering herโpull out and slip in rapidly. She had never before done anything like that.
Regulus felt how Vivien's hips squirmed, changing angles. Sometimes, she thrusted onto him.
Vivien was quietly moaning through subtly opened lips, her hand rubbing his thigh.
Regulus felt thrills building in his abdomen, his cock hardening, Vivien was fidgeting against him.
Shite, shite, shite... She felt that nice feeling of heat pouring over her body, but she didn't know how to reach it. It was so urgent to be reached.
Regulus felt Vivien's hand leave his thigh and he saw her fingers slide between her lips. Then they went on her clit. With his balls tightening, Regulus thought to himself, if Vi had done it before? Did she touch herself after he showed her how to? Would she play with herself, thinking of himโlike he did, thinking about her?
Vivien rubbed herself in circles outside, Regulus thrusting inside of her, his finger curling perfectly.
"Just like this." She murmured, feeling the sinful combination doing god's work.
Vivien wanted Regulus to crave her and she knew one or two things about how to do it.
Did Vivien ever squirt before? Once. But she had gotten so embarrassed about it, even if Edgar claimed it was so hot. He wanted her to repeat it but she got so nervous from embarrassment that it wouldn't come out. And after that, it never did.
But Vi needed Regulus to know there was still so much about her body to explore for him. She felt secure enough with him to discover her own body.
"Shhhite," She cried out desperately, quickening her movements, so close to exploding.
Suddenly she grabbed Regulus' hand, holding it deeply inside. Regulus let her, seeing that she tried to show him something. Her back arched after she rocked her hips on his fingers.
She exploded, gliding his fingers out. She squirted.
And Regulus felt unimaginable pleasure from helping Vivien achieve such a please. He twitched in his pants, his balls clenching tightly.
"Fuck," Vivien sighed, lying the back of her head against Regulus' shoulder.
Squirting is a lot of work.
Regulus let Vivien collect, gently grazing her tit, pitying how much he wished to have his head between her legs. He wanted to lick Vivien's pleasure off to know its taste. The more he sat with Vi against him, the more he felt something wet and warm. Against his own skin. In his trousersโin his boxers. On his dick. Did he actually fucking finish before he even started?!
Vivien felt a spasm go through her body, her muscles twitching like they were blinking. That was the only fatigue worth feeling.
"Vi?"
"Yeah?"
Regulus barely heard her, her eyes shutting.
"I came."
Vivien was so tired she had to mishear Regulus.
"I did." She answered, despite how silly his question was.
"Yes. So did I." He emphasised.
One is an accident; two is suspicious. Vivien opened one eye, looking at him out of its corner.
"I came." She slowly stated.
"And I came too." He mimicked her, saying even slower.
Three is a pattern! Vivien opened both eyes widely, focusing them on Regulus.
"What?" She straightened, causing him to take his hand out of her bra.
Regulus kept his nonchalance.
Of course he precummed! How could he not, when Vivien was so luscious? Everyone would be aroused. She was grasping and squeezing his thigh, pressing back and forth against him. There was no other choice than to pregame to that.
"I came in my boxers." He chuckled.
Vivien got on her knees, turning around to face Regulus properly with her wet and misplaced panties.
"Are you serious?" She looked into his eyes.
Regulus felt close to shame when her voice was so rough and until she swallowed, and a grin molded on her face.
"Because of me?"
There it was! That airheadedness. Regulus rolled his eyes playfully, a smile on his lips.
"I want to see." Vivien said, standing up from the bed.
Regulus gazed at her, eyes innocent and round, deeply inside shy about it.
"Get fucking undressed, doll." She demanded, fervourish all over again, her tiredness gone.
Regulus stood up in front of her and pulled his jumper and polo neck over his head.
Vivien smiled as he shook his head to fix the curlsโit was cute in such a capturing attention manner, causing her to contemplate him.
Somehow Vivien made herself bent down and undid his trousers, looking up into his eyes through her eyelashes. Regulus took them off with his boxers at once, glancing at Vi who straightened and took off her knickers but left the bra on. He moved onto bed, towards the pillows where he laid his back.
Vi followed behind, giving his bare bum a nice juicy slap before it was hidden away from her in a blanket.
Vivien sat down beside Regulus glancing at his cockโit was hard, vein pulsing in a rhythm of hormones, tip glazed in cum. Vivien clenched her thighs together.
Regulus observed her soak one of her fingers in his cum. He twitched against her touch. And she put her finger to her mouth, sucking him off from it.
Vivien desired to taste Regulus' pleasure. Just a bit, but enough. She smiled, licking her lips, making them glint with her spit and him.
"Such a good boy."
Regulus smirked with a sharp breath. He grasped Vivien by her waist to instruct her on top of him. She smirked, placing one of her legs on his other side. She gripped his erection, directing it at her entrance, all while towering over him, her faรงade monumental.
Regulus' hands slid down to her hips and Vivien supported herself with one hand on his slim shoulder. She lowered herself, so slippery riskily slipped down on him. She rolled her hips around to adapt to him better. Safely, he stretched her out.
"Just like this, my brave girl."
Vivien felt Regulus caress one of her hipbones. She blushed after he praised her. It was silly but there was something fulfilling about him appreciating her, saying sweet nothings with her was around his cock.
Regulus melted after Vi loweredโhidโher face upon his flattery. It was cute that after all that time she was shy, when she literally sat with him naked between her legs, nearly as naked.
Vivien took Regulus in with satisfaction and she rocked her hips. It was so enjoyable for her. She whimpered, his tip meeting her euphoric spot.
Regulus gazed at Vivien, her head dropping a little to the back after she selfishly gave herself pleasure. He pushed up the last inch of his shaft inside and she whimpered, surprised. He pulled his shaft down, rubbing against her spot even more.
Vivien glanced at him shyly after he made her whimper so soon.
"I could give you that, if you just asked, Vi. You know I will give you that with no question asked and no please given but you have to be patient."
Vivien gathered, smirking confidently. Regulus knew she wouldn't let him try to tell her how to behave. She leaned closer to him, using both his shoulders for support.
Her nose stroked against his.
Her lips skimmed against his, rippling, when she said, "How can you assure me of that? How can I know that you won't finish without me?"
Regulus wrapped his arms around her back, bringing her closer and leaving only inches between them.
"Vi, I have enough cum to fill you up and refill you." His lips flowed against hers.
She tilted her head. "We've been saving some lately, huh?"
"I can't say the same about you and your sticky finger. That touching you did to yourself didn't seem like the first time."
Vivien bit her bottom lip, her eyes strolling off between Regulus' grey irises and pink lips. She realised they hadn't even kissed and it was quite disconnecting from the experience.
Regulus saw Vivien's eyes track his lips. He felt her hands move to the back of his neck.
"I had a good teacher. A very effective one." She whispered, her hot breath mixing with Regulusโ.
He parted his lips and they gazed at each other before Vivien captured Regulus' lips tamely. It felt like heaven collided with earth and crushed it.
Oh, how Regulus wished he and Vi wouldn't have to ever leave that room. Their little idyll, full of sex. But what sex! It wasn't meaningless, dull, and bland. They were making love. A lot of it.
Vivien began drawing her hips up and down but they didn't break out the kiss. They kept going along with her picking up paceโdesperately like their lives depended on it.
It did when they were starving to death for each other! Craving one another! In need of saving!
Only they could save each other. And it felt right.
Vivien rode Regulus but it was getting so hot between them. She needed a breath of fresh air. She whimpered out loud once she separated from Regulus, not muffled with his lips anymore. She was so stimulated, it was making her legs weak.
Vivien didn't have that much strength to physically keep going for long, especially when it was so hard to live through riding Regulus' cock at that perfect angle.
The air was too thick to breathe. She was gasping.
Regulus observed reddish Vivienโeven her chest was flushed.
"Merde," She whimpered, sinking her nails into his shoulders. He could tell she was turning weak, towering over him. He moved his hands to her arse to help her hips.
"You're doing good, my brave girl."
Vivien opened her eyes looking at Regulus. He was pinkish from the high temperature between them. Her muscles were tiring on her body and despite Regulus' help, she wasn't working. She moved her hands from Regulus to grab the headboard of the bed.
"I can't go anymore, Regulus. You have to fuck me now."
Vivien slowly stopped riding but stayed on top. It was time for Regulus' amazing hip work. He grasped her hips and began thrusting into her but the headboard wasn't enough for Vivien. Regulus saw that her legs she held him hostage between shook even more, when he pleasured her.
He looked up at her.
"Vi, you will collapse." He mumbled.
"Just go on." She whispered quietly, enjoying it all too much to care, her head dropped, her eyes shut.
Regulus went onโjust not like Vivien meant. He caught her waist in his arms before he hammered her to the mattress changing their positions after he pulled his cock out of her cunt. leaving it cold.
Vivien felt her heart race in her breasts. They were once again in a missionary position. Regulus towered over her and at first Vivien was petrified. Regulus saw a scare on Vivien's faceโthey were in the position that complicated everything between them. The position in which Regulus confessed his feelings to Vi that scared her away from him.
"Is it alright?" He asked, reaching out for one of the smaller pillows to make it less awkward.
Vivien looked after Regulus' hand that took hold of the pillow. She glanced at him and he glanced back.
"It is, Regulus." She nodded, yearning for the closeness with Regulus that she felt in that position.
It was safe and cosy. It was Regulusโ. The one who protected her from all the ugly undeserving world.
Now he smiled softly.
"Lift your bump."
Vivien did and he squeezed the pillow beneath it. Regulus entered Vivien once more but his movements changed with the position. He rubbed against Vivien. He rubbed her with the base of his cock at that angle.
Vivien laid her hand on the back of Regulus' neck, pulling his curls. And she sang beautifully, her moans a melody for his ears. He felt one of her legs tangle around his hips, hugging him closer to her. He felt her fidgeting.
Regulus felt tense himself the more he rubbed Vivien. His balls tensed.
Vivien felt Regulus got sloppy faster than usual. He truly was in need of some proper release like she was. After all, they were two teenagers full of hormones and even fuller of sperm.
Vivien felt warm in her belly again. She felt that desperation in a different but another good way.
Regulus began thrusting fervorously to make them cum, impatient to release tension from his own body. And Vivien couldn't stop it. She squirted, the knot snapping.
"Fuck," Regulus panted out after Vivien wetted him. He kept going with her clenching around him. "Fuck, do it again, Vi."
"I'm close to." She cried out, feeling her body burn from such sinful pleasure.
And it happened. She squirted one last time. And she felt so light, she nearly saw stars through the mist.
She heard Regulus whimper under his nose.
She felt how he overfilled her.
Ironically, it was Regulus who collapsed in the end, crushing on Vivien.
Not really. He was careful. He laid his cheek beside hers. She gazed at him. He seemed foggy with his grey eyes, highโespecially after he smirked for no other reason than finally finishing and finishing Vi off like a teenage boy that he was.
Vivien smiled too, showing him her dimples. He rested a hand on her cheek, drawing his thumb on one of them.
"You have no mercy for mere me, my Majesty." He murmured. "Why did you begin actually cumming like that after I told you we have to stop ourselves from any pleasures, Vi?"
"But here we are, Rebulusโexperiencing all the pleasures."
"But here we are, Vi." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. There was nothing to be suggestive about anymore. Everything that could be suggested has already happened.
Vivien giggled, kissing Regulus clumsily, their nose bumping.
He kissed her back. She felt his hand trail off her body until her titty, trying to fight off the bra it was hiding in.
Vivien rolled her eyes and sat up, shaking. Still, she stretched out her arms to her back, unclipping the bra and throwing it to the floor, Regulus observing her. She laid back down with her tits out and Regulus smiled happily, immediately going for one of them to fondle with. Vivien closed her eyes, Regulus playing with her chest.
The vision of keeping the bra on was better than the execution of doing so.
Bras were uncomfortable and painful in Vivien's opinion. They were overstimulating, itching the breasts, and painful to the ribs and shoulders. No matter how sensual and imaginative they were, Vivien would never be indoctrinated.
Vivien imagined the story of the invention of the bra. They had to be used as a torture object for women at first!, she would never believe it was a woman to think of that!
Vivien felt sleepy, cornered everywhere by Regulus, his arms locked around her, pulling her to him in a hug. She let him corner her, safe. She didn't have any energy to open her eyes and look at him. She felt his breath against her neck, his curls tickling her jaw.
She slowly drowned in solitude.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was the second to fall asleep but the first to wake. It was dark behind the big window. He checked his watch. It was half past elevenโnot even five hours later. But Regulus felt quite rested. Energised even, having an erection against Vi's arse. She laid curled, her back against his chest. Even if there would be no more rounds, Regulus wanted to tease Vi a little.
Expection. The Room of Requirement was an expectation. Nothing in there was real. Once they left the bedroom, it would be gone. Their love would be gone. It wasn't realโit was a dreamโtheir dream. And it was theirs to use it, while it lasted those few hours.
He brushed Vi's hair from her neck to uncover it. And he kissed it gently.
Vivien woke to the sensation of Regulus' warm lips on her neck. He sucked her skin softly, causing goosebumps to it. She moved her hand towards his curls, tangling her fingers in them.
Regulus smirked at Vi, waking with a whimper leaving her lips. She rested her hand on the back of his neck. And he bit her delicately for her to pull his hair. She moaned.
Vivien felt Regulus erection against her bum, and she softly pushed her arse onto it, wiggling her hips back and forth.
Perhaps there was a chance for another round with Vi. Her hips told Regulus that she was interested in pleasure. When Vi was conscious, Regulus let his hand wander to her tit embracing it. There was some beauty to life, if one could hold a breast that fit their hand like it was sculpted for it.
Vivien tilted her hand to the back.
"Regulus, what time is it?"
"Close to midnight."
"I hope you know the classes tomorrow weren't in my plan."
Regulus chuckled, "Didn't suspect it." His mumble stroked against her skin.
"Good," Vivien whispered, her eyebrows softened, her eyes shutting at how Regulus' lips took care of her.ย
"Can we do it like this?" She didn't ask the question like, if Regulus wanted a second round. His cock parting her arse cheeks was an answer.
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
Regulus grasped Vivien's thigh pushing one of her legs forward on the mattress. She arched her back sticking out her arse for his cock.
Regulus moved it back and forth against her slit. She pushed her arse into his pubis, ready for him at any moment.
Regulus let Vivien cream before he entered her. Then he slapped and slipped her with his dick. He was fucking herโlike truly. Regulus was fucking Vivien, the same he had after one of his matches.
When it was too much for Vivien to bear down, she clenched around him.
Regulus held Vivien's hips to keep her down from fidgeting. She still did. He grasped her leg, keeping it folded and he changed his angle to have a better trajectory into her pussy, his face in her tit.
He shot his cum in her as if it wasn't already dry on her thighs and cunt. When he was thrusting through his own orgasm, Vivien orgasmed too, turning into a moaning mess. She curled her feet, arching her body against his.
"Fuck," Regulus groaned into her chest as she was loosening around him from the force of her orgasm.
Vi felt Regulus unlink their bodies. He moved aside from her. She turned on her other side towards him as he rested on his back.
Vivien gazed at Regulus. She saw his Adam's apple bop before he glanced at her, quite aware of her eyes.
"It's time for a shower." He murmured to her, getting out of bed. "Stand up, Vi."
"No, please. I'm sleepy." Vivien whined, turning away from him, curling into a ball.
Vivien wasn't really a pig but she was so tired after such intense acts.
"Yes, Vi. You have to pee and wash yourself. We don't want you to get an infection and we already were risky with it." Regulus came over to her bedside.
"No..." Vivien pushed her face into the pillow, hiding away from Regulus.
To her misfortune, Regulus was as stubborn as she was. And unfortunately, he was stronger than she was. He collected her from the bed.
"No, no, no." She protested quietly. Still naked, he picked her up. She wasn't going to fight him. She let him pick naked her and slowly lower her in his arms until her feet met the wooden cold floor.
They faced each other and Regulus brushed strands of Vivien's hair behind her ears. The only time Regulus saw Vivien wear her hair down was to bed. It made senseโtheir Valentine's Day date was in bed. But something felt so intimate about having her like this. Without clothes, no amount of make-up, and loose hair. It was simple but she was beautiful with her big eyes, dark circles, black lashes, and pink cheeks. She was beautiful and looked so secure in her skin with Regulus so close. She was slowly even accepting the supposed ugliness of her body to show around Regulus. She was beautiful and there was something unreal about seeing that natural beauty of hers.
"Five minutes, Vi. And we will be back in bed." Regulus promised.
With a sigh, Vi nodded and let him lead her, with an arm wrapping around her waist.
They used the bathroom for a steamy shower to wash each other between kisses.
After five minutes, they left, wearing some silk bathrobes. Vivien sat down in one of the armchairs to eat a few pastries and drink some water.
Regulus dropped his robe to the ground and laid down under the duvet with his hands under his head. They observed each other for a few pastries until Vivien stood up with one. She came closer to the bed. On her knees, she moved towards Regulus. She laid down on her tummy taking one bite before giving Regulus another one.
After a few shared bites, the good was gone.
Vivien dusted her hands off from crumbs. Regulus held the duvet up for Vivien and she scrambled under it. She placed her head on his shoulder, flat on her tummy, Regulus laid on his back. They tangled their legs together and Vivien hugged Regulus. He took a hold of her hand, lying it on his chest closely to his heart.
The candles went out like that.
In the darkness, Regulus felt Vi shift. He felt her lips on her chest. She gave him feather-light kisses as if to free him.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien lay bare on her belly with her cheek in the pillow, Regulus rested with his head behind her ears, snorting into them. He laid partially on her. Vi lay quietly, gazing at the blue sky behind the window and listening to his snoring. It was so peaceful in that room. If we could just stay here forever...
Vi wondered to herself, what would happen if they did? How different would their lives be? Would they ever be found there? Would anyone even look for them? Would people turn their disappearance into a mystery or would they all assume they had run away together? Would their friends be happy for them or disappointed with them? Would Vivien's brothers ever forgive her for leaving without a word? How would she and Regulus die? How long before they would die there? Could Vi wish for them to live forever there, and the wish would come true? If not, would they ever be found after their deaths? What if someone used the Room of Requirements for another reason? Would it transform into another's wish, consuming Vi's and Regulus' bodies, making them forever gone too like that bedroom?
Vivien lay in the silence of the bedroom until she felt Regulusโ legs move. She felt his hand move on her, softly squeezing her waist for good before his lips met her shoulder. He woke.
"I don't know how it works but sometimes I wake because somehow I know you're not sleeping anymore, Vi." He mumbled out.
Vivien felt his weight off of her body. Regulus rolled around on his back to the side. She turned on the other cheek to look at him. He was rubbing his face before his hands fell on the mattress, and he glanced at her. He had sleepy eyes and messy curls. She smiled at the view he was.
The truth was, Vivien woke sometimes because she knew he wasn't asleep too and it worried herโespecially after he had hurt himself.
Regulus swore he felt so bad that one day that the urge to take out the tension was stronger than him to think rationally and he didn't mean to hurt himself like that, and he would never try to again.
But he couldn't swear to not feel bad again and that was scary. Regulus was not expressive. He was secretive. What if I had to find out that he felt bad after it was too late?, Vivien never wanted to experience such a tragedy. She couldn't let him be alone for too long with his thoughts or he would find a way to feel bad, overthinking everything.
But right now, she was the first to wake and Regulus was perfectly fine. He smiled at her, his grey eyes glimmering on her.
"Did I ever tell you you are the most spectacular girl I've ever seen in my life, Vi?"
Vivien rolled her eyes, playfully.
"Outside of your home and Hogwarts, you haven't seen a lot, Regulus."
"I've seen enough. Why would I look further when heaven has already sent me an angel?" Regulus patted his chest as an invitation for her. "Come here."
Vivien bit her lips and did as she was asked, lying her hands on his chest and her chin on his shoulder, Regulus contemplating her from close. He studied her natural beauty, his eyes drawing every and each line of her little face.
"My frisky little angel. So beautiful." He whispered.
Vi wasn't so sure he was whispering to her as much as he was whispering to himself. She felt her chest tighten. Regulus' eyes focused on her lips. They were perfect. Full, pink, and untouched. She clearly healed them from all the scabbing for Regulus to kiss them. He smiled, raising his head.
"Come even closer."
Vivien smiled and reached for Regulus' mouth. After they broke apart, resting, Regulus spoke up, "Can I ask you about something uncomfortable, Vi?"
The witch quirked her eyebrow. Is he trying to ruin our moment again? What would he ask about now? My family? Nolan or other boys? Or maybe girls?
She still nodded her head, having nothing to hide.
"Did you fancy any of the people you had sex with?"
Vivien's heart hammered in her chest. Once. Twice. Thrice. She felt the lump, blocking her throat.
"What?" She managed to choke out.
Regulus observed Vivien, feeling that even if she didn't move away she tensed against his chest.
"I guess what I'm trying to ask is if you ever fancied anyone at all?"
Vivien slowly arose on the mattress, crossing her arms on her bare chest, her eyes running away from Regulus. Her hands rubbed her upper arms and shoulders for comfortโas if to hug herself and hide herself because Regulus made her uncomfortable.
"I-I-" Just say it, you stupid cunt! "-don't think so." She said despite her brain screaming at her body or her body at her brain. She hesitated at her words. "I mean, I don't know. If I have never before fancied anyone, how would I know that what I feel towards someone is fancination?"
Regulus slowly sat up, pulling the duvet to keep his crotch covered.
"You don't know immediately but at some point you grasp the concept that you want the attention of that person as much as you focus yours on them. You want to look nice on school days. And on the weekends, you want to look nicerโin case you pass them somewhere around the castle. You can tell something is changing in you. You began caring in a mature manner. You look out for your person. You want them safe by your side especially. That would be perfectโif they were safe by your side at all times."
Vivien lurked at Regulus out of the corner of her eyes shyly, her belly warming, when he probably talked out of his own experience.
"Is it how it began for you with me?"
"Yes." He caught her eyes, gazing at her. "So have you ever felt like this with anyone?" He raised his eyebrows waiting for an answer.
Arseclown asked, sitting with her naked in bed after they spent the whole night tossing around together, cuddling, kissing, and touching their bodies in ways none had touched them before.
And from Vivien's longing stare that shot away once she shrugged her shoulder, he knew that Vi wasn't telling the truth, murmuring, "I don't know."
She knew. She knew that she felt like that about someone. About him.
Vi was fancying Regulus. Although she didn't know why, the stupid cunt lied after she spent the whole evening making love together with Regulus and experiencing things Vi wouldn't let herself experience with anyone else than that boy.
"Why are you asking?" She added quickly, avoiding Regulus' eyes.
"I just wanted to know if I ever stood a chance." And now he knew too.
Regulus so badly wanted to understand why Vi wouldn't tell him sooner. Did she realise how she felt before or after he confessed to loving her? If before, why was she so scared! Isn't that a good thing that he loved her since she fancied him back a little late but still?
Might be that the symptoms of a seventeen-year-old girl being in love were different than those of a twelve-year-old boy but from Vi's self-conscious behaviour, Regulus could tell she was processing that informationโthat she felt something back for him. Just chose to push it away, brush under the mental carpet and ignore it.
Regulus wasn't enough, was he?!
Of course he wasn't if Vi was so scared of feeling something back for him. Was it scary to fancy him? Because of the person he used to be or the person he was turning into?!
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ย ย ย The rest of their late morning passed in silence. The couple was absent, drowning in their own thoughts, too busy to notice their other half doing the same.
Regulus was trying to figure out Vi as she was trying to figure herself out. Regulus and Vi had the amazing ability to not give a fuck about letting others know that they had spent hours shagging. They left the Room of Requirement around the lunch break, perfectly in time for a fresh warm meal, and they simply went into it. No uniforms, no change of clothes, no getting ready for it.
They were walking between the tables with their appearance minimally appropriate. It was enough! At least we put our clothes on!
Their friends observed them, their brows furrowing.
Neither Regulus or Vi acknowledged anything, including themselves. They sat down together beside Barty. Little Clรฉmentine judged her parents from uncle Evan's laps.
The couples ignored stares, whispers, and their friendsโso deep in their own thoughts. They began putting the food on their plates until Vivien heard someone clear their throat behind her back.
She peeked over her shoulder to see Professor Flitwick. Hurriedly, she turned around and stood up.
"Miss Beauchรชne,"
"Professor, I'm so sorry for my absences during classes. Me and Regulus got a nasty food poisoning from our Valentine's Day dinner-" She began gesticulating, excusing her absence during classes, thinking that what it was abou-
"Vivien, that's not why I wanted to talk to you."
She stopped, looking at Flitwick cautiously. He seemed serious, tucking his hands behind his back, smiling sadly.
"There was an incident. Professor Dumbledore was informed in the morning through a letter that Mister O'Sullivan was killed yesterday evening. He was stabbed in Azkaban repeatedly, his head and throat crushed."
Vivien felt as if someone had hit her with a wooden bat in the head. Her eye twitched. Is this a joke?
"What?" She snorted out of shock.
Regulus swallowed tensely, looking at his friends, hearing the conversation behind his back.
They all seemed stupefied with the news Professor Flitwick brought to Vivien.
Regulus stood up, turning around and stepping over the bench.
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we think it was for the best if you found out this from a trusted person and not from the Daily Prophet or someone else."
Vivien felt arms locking around her. Regulus brought her into his arms and she felt a hand on the side of her face, gently pushing her other cheek to his shoulder. She let herself in his embrace, feeling safe there, her stomach aching with sickness, sour bile biting her tongue.
Even if Vi didn't wish to be hugged at the moment, Regulus wouldn't know when she was too shocked to react.
Notes:
the smut scenes in this one at times are not meant to be treated seriously
Chapter 50: fly high, butterfly
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย February was the longest and quickest month Vivien had ever lived in her life. So little happened but so much changed.
Imogen had come to Hogwartsโshe returned with her parents to pack her things and go home. She had decided that it was for the best. It could be a break or it could be for good. Vivien didn't know if it was the best ideaโto throw away the education that Hogwarts offeredโbut there was another world awaiting Imogen. The world of muggles, where she claimed she felt to belong more now.
Vivien couldn't imagine how estranged she would feel if one random day she was ripped away from her world to a new one, like Imogen and a lot of muggle-born wizards were at the age of eleven when they got their letters from Hogwarts. Vivien understood that not everyone had to see it as a wonder. Some could see it as a curse after the wizarding world proved to be more dangerous than the one they were born in.
Vivien and Imogen didn't know each other for longer than they knew each other but it was a bitter moment for Vivien to let Imogen out of her arms, her mother and father waiting for her.
Vivien didn't want to break down in front of them and her few friends.
But Imogen looked better than the last time Vivien saw her. She was healthier. Her parents were what she needed. And Vivien let go of her with their last hug.
Imogen's parents shook Vivien's hand. Tears prickled in the corners of her eyes, because Imogenโs father said, Thank you. Mister Greenfield thanked Vivien. If Vivien had reported a little sooner, his daughter would never suffer the consequences of Vivien's silenceโand Mister Greenfield still thanked her.
Imogen's decision is for the best!
It wasn't safe for muggle-borns in the wizarding world at times like that. It could be for the best that Imogen made the decision as such
Neither Vivien or Imogen mentioned Nolan. It was for the best to leave him where he belongedโin the past. Or hellโsome believed. Nolan O'Sullivan was a quite sensitive subjectโtypical criminal.
Wizards dreamt to forget him than to speak his name out loud. Vivien felt bad for what happened to him. She didn't feel sorry for him but rather sad and mad that he got a quick way out instead of spending the rest of his life rethinking what he chose to do.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien slowly felt at her peak in the beginning of spring, her dormmates sometimes seeing her paint with pastels Regulus had bought for her. Vi bought a big canvas after her muse obviously inspired her. Pandora once or twice peeked from her bed to Vivien's, intrigued only to see Regulus from an interesting position and perspective.
Pandora nearly fainted and Sybill nearly had to pick her up at the sight of Regulus' sketch for the first time. Vivien drew him from her view of sitting on top of himโsurely in an intimate situation when he was bare. It was only his upper body that was showing. Thanks Merlin!
Vivien drew Regulus with his torso bareโhis thin chest and slim arms. He was smirking, his against pillows. His curls were messy and his cheeks would be blushed once they were colouredโfrom the hot temperature between him and Vi.
Vivien wasn't certain why she decided to paint it from all the things in her head but with her sticky fingers, she would touch Regulus on the canvas to blend the colours of dry pastels like she would draw her finger on Regulus' delicate aristocratic skin.
Regulus didn't see the painting and he believed he wasnโt supposed to. Pandora talked about it to Dorcas and Barty, who told Evan about it, who told Regulus about it.
A few times, they would mention it. Pandora mentioned whenever Vivien continuously worked on it secretively. Barty would pat Regulus in approval for hooking the witch so effectively. Dorcas would roll her eyes at Regulus for smirking in pride.
But the truth was, he had nothing to be proud about. After Valentine's Day, Vivien didn't acknowledge the hours she spent with Regulus in the Room of Requirement, making loveโat least that's what he thought they were doing.
And he couldn't stop thinking about those hoursโthose beautiful hours of intimacy. He missed to kiss and be kissed. He missed to touch and be touched. He missed the boy he was when Vivien was by his side in bed.
But Regulus was going into circles with Vivien. They were always separating to do something so intimate and pretend it wasn't intimate at all when it was so passionate, only to separate back and state, It was nothing. Regulus literally confessed loving Vivien to hell and back and proclaimed his devotion for her.
Regulus was literally willing to go through hell for Vivien if she asked. And everyone knew it.
And it was clear that he was frustrated about it half the time. If she just hinted at it or suggested that there was something between themโsomething she felt for himโฆ Since the conversation he had with Bones, Regulus had tried to keep to himself the thought that maybe Vivien felt something towards him until he couldn't bear his frustration on his own.
"Vivien fancies me." He announced, sitting down between Dorcas and Evan, his elbows.
They were slouching on the sofa in their dormitory, Pandora leg-crossed in one of the armchairs and Barty spread in the other one. They all shared glances before looking at him.
"We know." Pandora threw one of the dragรฉes from her paper bag into her mouth.
Regulus couldn't be startled. His and Vivien's behaviour was couple-ish but Vi never said anything about it and Regulus assumed she wasn't aware of what she was doingโshe wasn't until she was.
"Well, she knows too." That's what got them all react.
Dorcas and Evan straightened in their seats on Regulus' sides.
"Okay, but how do you know she knows? Did she-"
Regulus chuckled bitterly, "Obviously, she didn't tell me this, Cas."
"Not even during your two's little rendezvous on Valentine's Day?" Evan wiggled his eyebrows.
Regulus put a hand over his face, rubbing it in disbelief at Evan's airheadedness.
"Especially not during our two's little rendezvous on Valentine's Day, Evan. Obviously she didn't or none of you would ever again hear from us." He mumbled, making his friends snort.
"Thanks for the honesty, I guess." Barty stood up to pace and stretch his legs out, catching Evanโs attention.
"What happened during Valentine's Day that makes you say that, especially not then?" Dorcas asked seriously.
"We wokeโstill naked. We were cuddling, being sweet and talking. I tried to be honest but subtle with my words and I asked Vivien if she ever fancied anyone from the people she slept with. Or anyone at that and I could feel her tense against me. She sat upโaway from me, covering herself. She hugged herself. I could tell she was uncomfortable. She always does it when she is. Feelings make her feel more naked than being actually naked. She said she didn't but then corrected that she didn't know because if she fancied anyone for the first time, how could she know it was that when she never felt like that before, therefore she didn't know what it was."
Regulusโ eyes followed Barty, who was going back and forth, listening and shaking his head.
"Very Vivian-like answer to not answer the question. Doubt everything. I began elaborating. She was mostly avoiding my eyes. She tried to change the topic, asking if those examples were how I realised I felt something for her. And I said yes and asked her again if she felt like that about anyone. But after that question, she stared at me for a little too long I daresayโonly to blur out she doesn't know. We didn't really talk after that at all."
They all observed Barty, who was too captured with the story to pay a single knut attention to the gawks following him.
Only when it went quiet, he turned towards his friends.
He winced with his whole face, "Why the fuck are you all watching me?"
"You're emotionally unavailable too. What do you think Vivien is on?" Pandora asked him, throwing another sweet into her mouth.
"How would I know?" He shrugged. "I'm emotionally unavailable because I choose to keep my emotions to myself. Despite popular belief, I had quite a nice childhood and used to be a loveable child. Mom loves meโdad used to, when I was still a girl and even when I became a boyโuntil I became a boy who liked other boys. Or as he called me, a freak. Vivien wasn't taught to express her emotions properly to begin with. She only can explode with them all over the room when she feels too much at once, overwhelmed."
"So since your dad called you a freak once out of anger, now you keep your emotions to yourself to avoid being hurt again. Truly, a sensible choice of someone healthy." Dorcas murmured sarcastically, widening her eyes to herself.
"Said someone, who after losing her dad poorly avoids attachment, afraid of losing more people she cares for." Barty winked at her, biting back with his sassy smirk.
Dorcas frowned, her mouth falling open widely, insulted.
Evan cringed.
"First of all-" She stood up, putting her finger in the air, ready to gesticulate with it.
Pandora sighed, standing up and stepping between Cas and Barty.
"Not again this." She sighed. "First of all, it's not about either of you." She stared between them both.
Crouch and Meadowes had that game of offending each other, either knowing that the other was right. But they were too proud to let the other win. Dorcas squinted her eyes at Barty and vice versa. With Pandora, she backed to her seat.
"It's not over, Crouch." She warned.
"I'm ready when you are."
Regulus sat there with his lips tightened into a thin line, waiting for that smoke to air out. He was used to it.
Evan waited impatiently, tapping his foot in silence. Everyone looked at him.
It enlightened Barty. He pointed his hand at him.
"Why don't you ask Evan? He has issues confessing his feelings too? The closest he came to telling me he liked me was when he said, I am too good-" He stopped. "I am too good at something." He smirked deliciously.
Dorcasโ jaw dropped open.
"Oh my god! Did you guys-" She wiggled her eyebrows meaningfully, excited.
Pandora and Regulus glanced at them surprised too. Did they all miss something?
Evan scoffed, giving up, lying in his seat.
"No, we didn't." He grumbled under his nose.
"But you tried to?" Pandora frowned weakly.
"No."
"So how did-" Regulus began.
"Oh, for Merlin's pants! Don't you have your own issues, Reg, Rora?!" Evan threw his hands in the air, irritated.
Bitter of him! For once, Evan knew the taste of his own potion since he could never keep his big mouth shut.
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ย Talking with his friends didn't help Regulus. They tried to advise him but there wasn't really much that Regulus could do to make Vivien open up. She shared with him the most traumatic memories of her life but she still didn't feel confident enough about her feelings for him to tell him, no matter how gentle Regulus was.
And it left him frustrated twice as much. Dorcas could tell from the Quidditch training. The Slytherin team was preparing for April. Their match with Ravenclaw was coming and lastly in Mayโtheir match with Gryffindor.
The Quidditch field was reserved at all times as soon as the snow melted for good, the four captains coordinated a plan of training for everyone to stay in their businesses. And the season started. Regulus had some frustration built up, warming up like he was about to beat the shite out of everyone with a bludger.
Everyone on the team saw itโDorcas, Mulciber, Carrow, Rosalie, Reyes, and Pucey. Darianna Pucey kept her remarks to herself and giggled behind Regulus' back about it.
Mulciber and Carrow couldn't just keep their mouths shut, when they were all stretching.
Doyle whistled, approaching Regulus with Amycus.
Regulus felt a hand on his shoulder and rolled his eyes, straightening.
"Did Beauchรชne cockblock you?" Carrow chuckled, poking his tongue inside his cheek.
Pucey applauded him with her sugary titter.
"That's where the new stamina's coming from? It's pumping from your unused dick?"
Regulus looked at them arrogantly.
"If my dick bothers you so much, why don't I share your sister and fuck her? Because I could actually please her and still win, and the two of you can do neither. Instead of moving your mouth so much, why don't you try to move your hips more? Please, shut the fuck up for Salazarโs sake because you are an embarrassment to the last eleven generations."
Dorcas whistled meaningfully.
Mulciber shoved his middle finger up for her. She cracked with Rosalie and Valery Reyes. So did Pucey, who had to confess Black was hilarious for that one.
The training passed in perfect silence from that moment on.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien kept her eye on Marlene and Dorcas. She saw them once walking and bantering after their quidditch-trainings meeting. Dorcas kicked Marlene in the arse softly, wishing her good luck because she will need it before they parted, taking last glances at each other.
Marlene appeared to be doing better. She hung out with Gryffindors now, sitting on the carpet. So did Edgar winking a lot at Mary, who was smirking. She sat with Peter at her side, a crossword and a bitten-on pencil in his hands. Beside him, Remus and Sirius were knocking each otherโs knees or kicking at each otherโs ankles. James sat with Lily in his arms, his chin on her shoulder. Alice played with her engagement ring. They sat around the corner from Charms classroom.
Vivien didn't even know why she stood at the corner, hidden, sneaking after themโlurking on them living their livesโall in her secret. [Not so secret!] She felt nostalgic at the beginning of spring and simply wanted to check on her old friends.
"Do you guys think she's ready to talk?" James asked after Vivien was done watching them from around the corner.
She tried to be sneaky but Vivien never really was sneaky. They knew she was lurking, but they weren't sure if they were supposed to react.
They weren't certain what exactly Vivien was doing. Hunting them or haunting them? Did she try to make Peeves jobless? Or did she want to talk?
Because they definitely wanted to. There was so much all of Vivien's friends wanted to apologise for. It was a terrible experience for James and the rest of them to realise how little they actually knew about Vivien. How little they noticed about her.
Vivien was going through hell, lost and terrified of the horrible things she was hurt withโand James managed to tell her he understood why even she wasn't able to love herself. And when she was fighting the demon Nolan was, James told her to go through it herself for once. She already was!
James Potter was the shittiest friend anyone could have! It wasn't her fault that she didn't feel about him how he wished. And he tried to hold her accountable for her feelings for another boy because he was shitty as if James wasn't!
James had to invest in another pair of glasses because he was blind!
Vivien had every right to hate him! He wasn't there when she needed a friendโsomeone to cherish herโand he treated her worse than an enemy would.
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ย ย ย ย ย It was weirdโthe whole new reality. Vivien felt passionate about everything like before things went wrong. She dressed how she liked, not how she thought others would like her. Sometimes she felt more outgoing. Sometimes she liked spending her time alone.
She felt inspired to take her daily walks for some solitude to see the weather change for the better. There were pathetic crumbs of snow melting left, the sky blue, the sun shining highly. And there was a pleasant, refreshing breeze. The flora and fauna of the Highlands arose from the dead after a long cold winter.
So did Vi.
Vivien felt inspired so much to paint. It was one of the newer thingsโshe had her muse. Vivien fancied someoneโa boy. She fancied Regulus for quite a long time but it was always so confusing to her that she never confessed her feelings ever before to herself. She fancied him pathetically long that until now a lot of other people in her place would had been through a few new fascination.
Vivien was still scared of having her feelings. It wasn't a safe time to like a boy, especially that one. Regulus was a part of the warโof the problem some would fairly sayโand Vivien still fancied him. She wasn't ashamed of liking him because he might not be a good person. She wasn't either.
Vivien began believing there were no good or bad people. There were only people. Some were more self-aware than others. But life wasn't one big choiceโit was a trail of choicesโsometimes so tiny it could go unnoticed, and sometimes so big it could ruin lives. And people made those choices every dayโso-called right and wrong choices.
If Vivien made one great choice and then left behind herself a trail of small cruel choices, would she be a good or a bad person? Or if Vivien spent her life only making the best decision to finally make a big and brutal one, what then? Some people would excuse her, saying it was a mistake and everyone makes the. Different people would never forgive her mistake, judging her based only on it.
None bugged Vivien about Nolan. No one tried to harass her. No one tried to taunt her. No one tried to laugh at her. Not even Nolan's friends or what was left of them after the trial. None wanted to associate themselves with someone like that. None dared to accuse her of lying about the boy he was. Perhaps deep down they knew what he was. Or they didn't and the truth ruined themโtheir lives and their perspective on the world around them.
Vivien was strolling carelessly through the castle. She was not sneaking until she wasโabout to step into the gargoyle corridor in the Headmaster's Tower.
The gargoyle moved aside. Dumbledore came down the spiral staircase with another man. A younger one than him. But everyone seemed youthful around Dumbledore. The man was wearing more muggle-style clothesโa black suit with a white button-up underneath it.
Dumbledore seemed like he just got out of bed in his long garish robes and silly hat on top of his head.
"Of course you will be taken to your son's dormitory, Mister O'Sullivan. Professor Sprout will be here any second."
Vivien's eyes widened and she wanted to secretly take a few steps back and hide at the corner, but the heels of Mary Janes clicked joyfully against the ground, and their eyes tracked the source of sound, looking at Vivien.
"Miss Beauchรชne," Dumbledore welcomed neutral like he wasnโt in the most awkward situation he could find himself inโbetween Vivien and Nolan's fatherโa father of a boy who hurt her, now dead because of her or thanks to herโdepending on how one looked at it.
Vivien's lips tightened and she bowed her head. She didn't understand why instead of turning around and walking away, she walked forward towards them but she did. She tucked her hands behind her back, gracefully walking.
"Mister O'Sullivan,"
"Vivien," Mister O'Sullivan welcomed her with the same bow of his head she did.
Vivien and OโSullivan Sr. glanced towards Dumbledore just standing there. Being unbothered was so natural for him.
"Why don't I look for Professor Sprout?" He asked rhetorically, and somehow it didn't feel fake but as if he meant it and wasn't forced to do so. He wandered away in the direction Vivien came from.
Vivien suspected Nolan's father to accuse her of lying, destroying his son's life, and stealing it from him. She suspected him to hate her, judge her, and mock her without mercy. And she was ready to take that step for her peace.
But not even Mister O'Sullivan dared to. She met Nolan's dad before she met Nolan. He used to work in the British Ministry of Magic at the Department of International Magical Cooperation. He was an official, coordinating missions like the ones her father worked on all over the globe. Her father co-worked a lot with Nolan's father. Mister O'Sullivan knew Vivien and Jean-Claude.
Vivien considered that he tried to act tactfully despite the distaste she gave him, indirectly killing his son.
"I'm glad to see you healthy, Vivien." He smiled sadly, studying her up and down.
"And I'm glad to see you healthy, Mister O'Sullivan." She smiled faintly.
It was good wording. Healthy. They were healthy, but neither of them was fine. Perhaps neither of the two would ever be fully fine.
Mister OโSullivan nodded his head, looking away to the side. Vivien saw his eyes turn glassy. Because of that, hers did too. She bit on her bottom lip, kneading one of her hands with the other one, her knuckles cracking.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Mister O'Sullivan." She barely murmured out but he heard her.
He glanced at her. She quickly glanced away from him, lowering her face at her shoes.
Mister O'Sullivan chuckled bitterly with the heaviest heart. Vivien was ready to get scolded for having no dignity and shame as he shook his head as if in disbelief for the audacity she had, looking at him out of the corners of her eyes.
Suddenly his brows softened and he looked at her.
"I lost my son long before he died, didn't I? Did Nolan ever tell you how his mom left? His mom, my wife, used to love him so much. He was a sweet infant and even sweeter toddler. He was clingy and needy for our attention but when he grew past a certain age, my wife began noticing things. She used to have a frog until one morning it was goneโjust like that. When she asked Nolan about it, he said with a haunted smile that it had to jump away. She was warning me that Nolan had begun watching her weirdly. I thought she had a hard time accepting that he wasn't a baby anymoreโshe was telling herself things."
He sniffed.
"When Nolan was eight, my wife had a minor accident, cleaning around the house. She was hanging curtains when the stool she stood on shook. She fell to the ground and broke her arm and smashed her head. When I came to St Mungo's, she told me Nolan stood with a smirk, watching her fall and struggle lightheaded and harmed. She swore he was the one to push the stool. I didn't believe her. She was paranoid, telling herself things that didn't happen. It was a coincidence. He was simply a kid in shock. He didn't know what to do when he found his mother crawling on the floor. But a few weeks of my ignorance later, I woke one morning to find the other half of the bed empty. My wife quietly packed her things and left. Neither me or Nolan ever heard from Saoirse again. He never mentioned his mother again."
He chuckled bitterly at himself.
"I tried my best to be a father, but I wasn't prepared to raise a boy by myself. Every boy needs a mother to hold him accountable. We fathers tend to turn a blind eye, thinking our sons are some frustrated boys that will grow out of their anger. But they don't when there's no mother to tell them off. An angry child becomes a violent adult. My wife knew it and I was left a single father without her, when she was a single mother with me. Women know. Girls are underestimated their whole childhood, so they are taught to always look out for danger. But boys? They are never taught to look out for an observant woman. I accused my wife of following her heart instead of her common sense. But it was me following my heart. It was my little boy. He was my little golden boy. It was my wife who used the brain. She saw the monster under our roof, so she moved out of the house."
He snorted through his pain, a sour tear escaping his eye.
"And I stayed ignorant. I ignored the signs. My son destroyed himself and now he's gone in the name of violence I ignored. When Lady Ashcroft repeated to me what that boy admitted to her, I realised I didn't really know the person my child was. But my wife knew that was not our sweet little boy."
Vivien listened to Mister O'Sullivan. She observed him put his hand to his eyes and wipe off tears. She felt her stomach tighten when her lunch came to her throat.
"I'm sorry for what happened to you, Vivien. I'm sorry that you ignored the danger you sawโthe threat that my son truly was."
Vivien kept smiling faintly. The issue was that she was never taught to look out for danger. Her grandmother did underestimate her, wanting her to turn out exactly how she thought Vivien wasโstupid.
Mister O'Sullivan did something sudden. He opened his arms for Vivien. She hesitantly studied what he was doing before she carefully came closer. She hugged him how she wished she hugged her father, and Mister O'Sullivan hugged her back how she dreamt her father would.
"Never blame yourself for what happened." He mumbled. "You didn't fail. I did. I failed my son, I failed you, and I failed Imogenโall because I didn't want to accept that he was an angry child. I have no right to ask for that but please do something for me, Vivien."
Vivien felt her throat closer. She swallowed thickly but her blurry vision didn't go away.
"Yes?" She whispered, squeezing her cheek against Mister O'Sullivan's shoulder.
For the first time in such a long time, she felt a fatherly warmth when that man held her.
"Live a life for me. Never let what Nolan did to you stop you from achieving anything. Do everything and more for yourself. You will trust. You will love. You will be happy again."
Vivien nodded her head. She sniffed, "I promise I will."
For another minute, Vivien and Mister O'Sullivan were embracing each other quietly. She sniffed, stopping herself from completely melting down, held by a dad. Not hers, but dad was a dad. Good enough for her. Close enough. What an irony?, another thing Vivien should do was find Nolan's mom for a hug, and she would be whole as a person. Fixed.ย
"What will you do now, Mister O'Sullivan?" Vivien mumbled.
"Now I will look through Nolan's things, pack the ones I recognise, leave the ones I don't, and go home."
"And what's next?"
"Next I will grab my trunk and move on."
"Wher-"
"I don't know yet. Away."
Vivien squeezed Mister OโSullivan gently before their arms loosened around each other. They slowly pulled away, smiling tightly, hearing two different sets of steps echoing through the corridor.
Quietly, Vivien and Mister O'Sullivan awaited Dumbledore to approach them with Professor Sprout. The round woman smiled and bowed her head. She stopped at Mister O'Sullivan's side, offering him a hand he accepted.
Vivien stepped away with a tight smile. Mister O'Sullivan moved without another word, following Professor Sprout. Vivien observed them disappear. In the blink of an eye, he was gone around the corner Professor Sprout and Vivien never had seen him again.
Vivien sighed heavily and took the step to walk away-
"Miss Beauchรชne," Dumbledore stopped her.
Vivien glanced towards the wise man standing beside the gargoyle and the spiral staircase.
"I wish to talk to you."
The witch quirked an eyebrow. Dumbledore smiled politely.
Vivien didn't like Albus Dumbledore. She didn't know why but her grandma seeded that hatred in her, always muttering Dumbledore's like it was disgusting. Usually Vivien would find that amusing but after meeting Professor Dumbledore, she found something annoying about him too.
Disturbing and unsettling. He was stoic and so, so emotionally neutral. He was always polite, never rude. He was natural at itโno matter how fake it was. Vivien didn't trust anyone who was capable of such neutrality. He was sometimes happy. When he met her, he was eating fruit drops from the pocket of his robe, offering it to Vivien. He was suspicious. Dumbledore weirded out Vivien.
But she followed him upstairs to his office, where they soon took seats on opposite sides of his desk. The Headmaster Office had its charm full of bric-a-bracs, shelves of books, and paintings hanging onโฆ what was left of the walls.
Vivien sat down comfortably in the armchair, crossing her legs. Dumbledore sat down with all his robes straight.
"How are you, Miss Beauchรชne?" He asked, putting his hands together.
She raised her eyebrows. Her lips opened, but she was struck for a second.
"Healthy?" She answered uncertainly but not with her own answer but with his question.
"I'm asking because unpleasant rumours reached me, Vivien. They have been reaching me for quite some time now. I know about your specific sense of humour but I think when you said the marks on your neck came from Fenrir Greyback, you weren't joking, am I wrong?"
Vivien blinked blankly, unimpressed.
Dumbledore was straight to the point with her. She wasn't stressed. Dumbledore didn't stress her out. He didn't scare herโhe wasn't dangerous or violentโonly strangely stoic. It wasn't shocking that he knewโit would be shocking if he didn't. Vivien put together the puzzles.
"No, you are right." She answered as calm to match his emotional neutrality.
Dumbledore nodded his head.
"I'm going to be sincere with you, Vivien. I'm concerned for your safety. It's no secret that your and Mister Black's engagement is arranged. Coincidentally, Mr. and Mrs. Black offered a helping hand to your mother barely after your father disappeared under unexplained circumstances and your family was attacked and murdered. Your relationship with young Mister Black strengthened so suddenly and quickly. I think you were intimidated to accept unimaginable conditions for your and your brothers' safety, am I correct, Miss Beauchรชne?"
Vivien chuckled.
"I'm sorry, but you're not, Professor." She looked deeply in his blue cold eyes. "To be intimidated means I had to be scared. I'm not scared of the Black family and never was."
Vivien thought many things about Blacks but the last thing she thought of them was that they were scary. She found them more infuriatingโhow theatric or ignorant they could be.
Dumbledore observed Vivien for a sign she was lying. He didn't find one but he wasn't giving up anyway.
"Vivien, as long as you're here at Hogwarts, you are safe but outside, I can't guarantee you that."
Vivien cracked out loud, erupting with laughter, feeling her heart going faster.
"Safe?!"
As long as I'm at Hogwarts I am safe? That was such an effective way to cause her faรงade to shatter and get her emotions spilling around the office. But Vivien doubted they were the ones Dumbledore was aiming for. She shot up on her feet.
"You think I am safe here?! No one is safe here! Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it? I'm not asking for it anymore, so please save it for someone you will find deserving of it, Professor. Because I never was until now when you find my powers useful. But I'm not asking, praying, and crying for help anymore."
Vivien's mouth twisted in disgust, leaning with her hands on the desk.
Dumbledore sat still. He lied to her face and he sat still.
Vivien saw red, blood churning in her veins.
"Severus Snape: from bullied to bully. Sybill Trelawney: bullied. Emmeline Vance: bullied. Remus Lupin: bullied. Lily Evans: harassed and humiliated. Mary MacDonald: harassed, attacked, and almost killed! Dorcas Meadowes: harassed. Imogen Greenfield: raped. Rosaire Beauchรชne: harassed. Vivien Beauchรชne: harassed, humiliated, and raped. Do you hear a pattern here? I heard no McKinnons, no Bones, no Longbottoms, no Fortescues, no Malfoys, and no Crouches. I am less safe here than anywhere else because you make this place unsafe. No one is held accountable here. Not James, not Sirius, not Carrows, not Mulciber and Avery, not Parkinson, and not Nolan O'Sullivan. Hogwarts is the safest place on earth as long as you are born into the right family with the right status, right? As long as you're pure-blood, you're safe here and protected to the point of being secured from the consequences of your own fucking actions?" Vivien spat out her poisonous words, venom dripping down her tongue.
"It's too late now to help me. To make me trust you, Professor. Or to scare me. All hell already broke loose and I'm already in it. I don't want your help. I don't need it. I needed to be protected and you were here all this time, Professor. What did you do?! Absolutely nothing. Now, you try to help me when you find my potential useful."
Vivien stared at Dumbledore. He sat there. Calm. At peace. Blinking slowly. She laughed bitterly, shaking her head, taking her hands off the desk. She turned around, stomping away towards the door.
"And not Evan Rosier," Dumbledore said meaningfully. "And not Regulus Black?"
Just like Voldemort, Dumbledore realised the tough bond between Vivien and Regulus that they had misjudged at first. It wasn't about Vivien's family's safety for her anymore.
Vivien stopped in the middle of the room. She faced the wise man, dramatically showing him her hands drop.
"He's going to doom you, Miss Beauchรชne." Dumbledore spoke up, standing up. "Your closeness and intimacy aren't enough to save him, Vivien. You're not lifting Regulus up, but he's dragging you down with him."
Vivien smiled fakely.
"Maybe it isn't but I love Regulus and I'm ready to hold his hand and go to hell with him. He's ready to go to hell for me. No one else ever before in my life cared enough to hear me and he listens to me. If I were you, Professor, I would be far more concerned about myself. It seems you're closer to the side you try to oppose, than you think you are. I daresay you're exactly the same as Voldemort. The only thing that differs between you two are your beliefs. You want harmony and he wants chaos. Your morals are not so different from his. The end justifies the means, doesn't it? Or does it?"
She tilted her head, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I would recommend you to reconsider but you won't, Professor. You don't care enough. You only care about who's right and Voldemort cares about who's left. It seems he's winning. If you want to help me, Professor, keep your wise words for someone more impressionable. I was raised in a family of people who thought too highly of themselves, blinded with their own self-righteousness and guess what? Now I'm the matron of my family. I make my own decisions and none else."
Vivien stayed calm but her message was loud. She stared at the wise man before bowing her head and leaving the office. She left and slowly wandered back to her dormitory. On her way, she rolled her eyesโonly a few times, annoyed with the conversation she had with Dumbledore.
She ran down the stairs towards her dorm door and opened them. She was alone as she closed the door. She came closer to her nightstand, where she kept the journal Regulus had gifted her.
She paged it, avoiding words that Regulus wrote until she stopped at the random pages because she found the pieces of parchment cut out from the Daily Prophet. One of them was sent to her after Valentine's Day.
Vivien had found a small roll under one of the windows her bed stood between.
The window was wide open and she asked her dormmates if one of them opened it and forgot to close it. They declined.
And Vivien didn't mention to them the message she received.
The title of the article she was sent readโBrutal incident in Azkaban.
๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โwas scribbled above it. Vivien chewed on her bottom lip looking at the message.
Chapter 51: match made in hell
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย What is love?
Miss Beauchรชne sat silently at her place, tapping her foot. Voices were getting louder, the more students entered the classroom. In Vivien's head, voices were a murmur, muffled the loudness of her own thoughts. She sat, staring emptily at an untouched piece of parchment lying in front of her at the wooden desk.
Is it a feeling? A belief? Some believe in love, others don't. Neither are happy... Perhaps it's a hormone in the brain that needs to be stimulated to work? How do you even stimulate it, if that's the case? That's where the lust comes from? You stimulate it with the touch of someone you love, and that's how desire is created.
Or is it a hobby? Loving? Is it an activity you can participate in after classes? Making love? Taking care? Adoring? Admiring? Paying attention? Observing? Listening? Kissing what hurts? Hugging them when they are shaken with their nightmares?
"
๐ญ๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท
"
Vivien wrote it down to visualise what she was talking about. But it didn't really help her to understand anything.
Is it mixture? Falling in love? Being in love? Being loved? To love? Making love?
Regulus observed Vivien from afar. She sat over a piece of parchment, struggling to write down something on it. For the first time in his life, he saw her struggling with her homework. She always knew everything. She had a great memory once she was focused. She had to be feeling down again, now struggling with her concentration. He was leaning on the classroom doorway, a few times being passed by other students.
Until one of them laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Stop creeping around, Black. Being in love doesn't excuse you from being a little perv." Emmeline patted him after she grew behind him out of nowhere.
He quirked an eyebrow at her.
"Don't flatter yourself or others, Vance. I save my perversions for bed and I would rather shove a wand up my arse than share them with anyone in this castle but one girl." He smirked sarcastically, winking.
Vance smirked sarcastically at him too. Trelawney slipped by the two, giggling. So did Pandora.
"How many times Vi had to shag you, so you would abandon all your morals about chastity and all that?" Barty asked, following Sybill and Pandora.
Lastly, Evan and Dorcas slid inside the classroom. Cas dragged Regulus with the sleeve of his robe.
He threw his head with a soundless groan.
"I'm asking for research." Barty clarified.
Regulus and Evan rolled their eyes before Regulusโ eyes landed on the watch on his free arm to check the time.
"In the last nine minutes and twenty-eight seconds, she wrote down one word. Sorry, I'm concerned about-"
"About who exactly?"
They all glanced at Black, squeezing towards their seats.
"Your lover?" Pandra teased, stopping and making everyone else stop.
"Girlfriend?"
"Fiancรฉe?"
"Friend." Black gritted through his teeth. For now.
"Yeah, I have one of those too." Barty piped out again glancing at Evan, who showed him a middle finger. "I'm serious. How many times did it take you to abandon prudence?"
"One." Regulus answered, smiling sarcastically.
"Don't lie to yourself." Cassie murmured, causing the rest to crack.
"I'm not. I simply always keep the best for the bed. Vivien would know." His shite-eating grin widened on his mouth, splitting his face.
"Actually. How many times have you and Vi done it?" Emmeline raised her eyebrows curiously.
"Gentleman never kisses and tells." It was five. He didn't even need to count. Five beautiful times, when Vivien and he tangled in sheets.
"And when did you become one once again?" Evan questioned, smirking at Regulus, causing a laughter to bubble up in their friendsโ throats.
"Donโt push him." Emmeline stated strictly to Evan, before glancing at Regulus with her eyes squinted. "So it was that little?" She said provocatively, causing her friends to churn with more laughter like a boiling cauldron.
She knew it wasnโt true. She knew Vivien liked intimacy and she liked it with Regulus, claiming he was good at it.
"That's why you're frustrated, aren't you?" Dorcas nudged Regulus playfully, everyone teasing him a little tauntingly, while he didnโt bother to care.
Regulus hitched a breath, acting shocked with the not so brilliant realisation. He laid a hand on his heart, looking at Dorcas.
"Indeed. That's exactly why I'm frustrated. Because I stopped coming sooner than I started. Not because I'm being misled by a girl who isn't even capable of lying. Thanks Merlin that someone finally figured it out because I was under the impression that the girl I'm in love with was only lying to me." He pushed past all of them, done, done, done.
They winced, realising he didnโt care about their clownery, but he was serious about Vivien to the point of frustration. They shared glances, soon following after him.
Regulus wanted only to sit down and wait for class to begin. He squeezed behind Vivien and the other row, meanwhile Vivien didn't even move a muscle, too deeply drowning in her thoughts.
Pandora approached and sat on her other side, glancing at the piece of parchment. Surely, Vivien was struggling since she misspelt the keyword.
"Direction, Vivien. It's R, not L." She corrected, leaning to Vivien's level.
Vivien swam to the surface, freeing herself from overflowing thoughts she was drowning in. She looked at Pandora, Evan already leaning towards her piece of parchment.
"No, it's French, silly." He murmured at Aurora, tilting his head and reading the word. "La dilection, Pandora."
Everyone furrowed their eyebrows at Evan, who straightened, shrugging.
"What? Regulus taught me a bit back in the day. I wanted to pick up Cassie with French, the language of love." He shrugged at the row behind him, where Dorcas, Barty, Emmeline, and Sybill sat down at the desk. "Didn't work out though."
Vivien felt her skin prickle under the collar of her shirt, her heart thudding deafly.
Once Regulus unpacked his things, he lightly flopped down on the chair, lurking at Vivien's parchment. She was turned away from him to notice what he was doing.
And Evan was right. It was French.
"It means spirituality." Vivien lied, her stomach twisting.
"French?" Pandora glanced at Vivien. If Vivien used French, she obviously tried to hide what she wrote down.
"No, it doesn't." Evan argued. "It means-"
"No, it doesn't. I'm native and you want to teach me?" She cut off defensively, denying before he could even finish, like she knew what supposed mistake he wanted to make.
"Used to be." Evan corrected, being so self-righteous to be right in that moment that he didn't realise he was about to reveal Vivienโs secret that she tried to keep a mystery [in her poor way of executing it]. Vivien scoffed, dropping in her chair, folding her hands over her chest, frustrated. Now she awaited to be embarrassed. And Evan insulted her with a suggestion that she was assimilated!
"She's right, Evan." Regulus emphasised quickly, looking at his best friend from Vivieenโs behind, causing everyone to snap towards him.
"What are you talking about?" Evan pointed his hand at Vivien, "You are taking her side because-"
"Because of what?" Regulus frowned with his whole face firmly, his tone harsh and dry, when Evan was about to rub salt into his wound.
Evan observed Regulus, studying his face until he realised his mistake. He turned around to the rest.
"Actually, she's right." He announced, soon sitting down on his chair beside Pandora.
Vivien glanced at Regulus out of the corner of her eyes. He straightened in his chair and glanced back at her. Vivien bit her bottom lip, blush dusting her cheeks. She looked away.
How did she succeed to mislead him for weeks or even months? How could he not notice before?
That was literally a confession as she turned the parchment on the untouched page.
That's why she was struggling. It wasn't her homework. Worse! It was her feelings she was trying to understandโprobably rationalise them! It was so stupid but it was heartwarming to Regulus. She was trying to understand them. She wasn't ignoring themโhe wasn't seeing her struggle because she simply kept it private. And it was sweet. She didn't use an ordinary word for love. She didn't fully lie either. She wrote down spiritual love. Vivien thought that the love connecting her with Regulus wasn't an ordinary, sexual, greedy one but a deep one. He leaned towards her, planting a small but blossoming kiss on the temple.
"Do you think there is a French dictionary at the library?"
Sybill giggled at Dorcas, who was whispering to her, Emmeline, and Barty.
"It's worth checking out."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien felt like erumpents ran her over. The painkilling potion Madame Pomfrey gave her in the morning stopped working and she felt cramps so strong, they were making her nauseous and sick in the middle of Charms.
As Vivien's cute nurse, Regulus took her to the Hospital Wingโalso as a responsible one. Madame Pomfrey gave Vivien a stronger potion and told her to lie down, which she didn't want to do. She wanted to return to class, not wanting to cause Regulus the trouble of absence because of her. He promised Madame Pomfrey that Vivien would lie down. He took her to her dorm.
Vivien fell to her bed. Regulus dropped his and her bags to the ground, sitting beside her motionless.
"I'm sorry." She murmured, closing her eyes.
She felt Regulus land on the mattress towards herโpropping himself on his elbow.
"For what?"
"You're missing Charms because of me."
"No offence to Professor Flitwick, but between companies of our year or only yours, I prefer yours only." Vivien felt his hands on her body gently rolling her shirt higher, uncovering the waist of her trousers. "I actually prefer your company over any company."
Vivien raised her head and opened one of her eyes to glance at Regulus, who began unbuckling her belt.
"I don't want to have sex today, Rebulus." Vivien didn't even know why she blurred it out. She threw those words at Regulus unconsciously faster than she could think. He paused and looked at her.
"And I didn't even think about it until now, Vi. I wanted to loosen your trousers for the tummy. I should have asked first. I'm sorry. Is it fine with you?"
Vivien felt embarrassed, like cringing at herself. There was no reason for her to say that!
She nodded her head hurriedly and closed her eyes, lying back.
"I actually think that perhaps you should change into something more comfortable for resting, Vi."
"Nooo," Vi protested silently, shifting to her side, curling into the ball. "I don't want to get up."
Regulus lifted his eyebrows, empty-handed.
"A few minutes ago, you didn't even want to lay down, Vi."
"And now I changed my mind."
"You will get overheated."
"You will too." Vivien glanced sharply at Regulus over her shoulder.
"I doubt I will look as good in your clothes as you do in mine, Vi."
"I think a miniskirt could show off your little bum."
"I don't have legs for it."
Vivien squinted her eyes. "How tall are y-"
"It would be too tight in the crotch." Regulus elaborated.
Vivien kept squinting her eyes at him as he stared at her. They were eye-fighting for a minute. But Vivien had to blink, her eyes getting irritated from dryness.
"That's not fair," She mumbled, rubbing her eyes with her hands. "I don't understand when you blink."
"I don't."
Vivien heard Regulus. He took her into his arms the bridal-style and carried her to the bathroom, where he sat her down at the cabinet.
"Fresh panties too?"
"Fresh panties too." Vivien nodded.
"Understood, my Majesty."
After a moment, Regulus returned to the bathroom with fresh clothes for Vi and left, closing the door.
In bed, Vivien found Regulus. He was changed too like she suggested. He was wearing similar pyjamas to hersโhis bottoms and jumper that she stole from his dresser in his dorm. Vivien was leaving her things at Regulus' dormitory, but she was also bringing his to hers. He sat on the edge and patted the mattress as an invitation.
"Time for tummy rubs."
Vivien smiled sweetly. Regulus observed how hurriedly she scrambled on the bed. He tried to offer her once or twice a helping hand for a massage during bleeding days but it never happened. Regulus knew from Eden that Vivien liked being stabbed with hands slowly during the week of the month where she had to stay in her bed. And Regulus enjoyed taking care of her. He liked to treat her every week of the month.
Vivien lay down, pulling her jumper up, uncovering her whole abdomen to be massaged. Regulus turned around in his seat.
"Where does it hurt?"
"Everywhere." She claimed innocently and he saw how she was kicking her feet happily up and down in place.
"Of course, it does." Obviously, silly him! Regulus gently pressed his hand into Vivien's belly causing pain at first but Vivien liked it. In the end, there was relief. And it was nice how he kneaded her belly delicately. He went down on her body, massaging sore thighs. She turning boneless under his touch.
"Tell me a secret, Regulus." She murmured.
"Hmmm?"
Vivien opened her sleepy eyes.
"Tell me a secret. I have known you for four years, I have been your fiancรฉe and friend for over six months but I don't know that much about your dark side."
"I think you know my darkest side the most."
"There has to be more. I doubt I know everything about you."
"But you do."
"Impossible."
"And somehow possible."
Vivien tilted her head, observing Regulus focused on her body. He glanced at her with raised brows.
"I'm not as mysterious as you think of me, Vi."
"And yet you are."
"Well, tell me a secret of yours and it will inspire me with a brilliant idea of some naughty details I'm hiding in the darkest corner of my mind, Vi. Enlighten me." He quirked an eyebrow, challenging the witch.
Vivien's heart beat harder.
"I-"ย he hesitated. "I don't have secrets." It wasn't true. But it wasn't that she meant to have secretsโshe simply didn't find the right time, the right place, or the right words to reveal some things but she didn't mean to keep them hidden from everyone.
"I don't believe it." Regulus claimed, testing Vi, wanting to see what she would do under a small amount of pressure from him but enough for her to feel it.
Vivien didn't like the consciousness of being in the spotlight. She liked when it came naturally and wasn't forced like Regulus was doing at that moment. She bit her bottom lip, looking around her dorm. Regulus kept massaging her quietly.
"Iiiii-" Vivien lingered on admitting to anything. "-always thought you were pretty. In any clothes and haircuts. I always thought you were pretty, no matter what you were wearing or how you styled your hair."
Vivien gazed at Regulus. He gazed at her, a soft smile sculpting on his delicate aristocratic lips.
"You did?"
"Yes. But I found you too infuriating and quite rude too." He chuckled. "You are sarcastic and it's cruel and brutal at times. But that adds to your attractiveness sometimes too."
She emphasised suggestively, flushing. Her cheeks glowed pink under his gaze.
"Your attitude. When you kissed me back in May, I already wanted you to kiss me." She confessed, but added quickly and effectively, "Out of curiosity."
Regulus stopped massaging her. He slowly leaned over Vivien to her poor heartโs shock. It jumped to her throat.
"Yeah?" He said, studying Vivien's face from close. Her eyes. What would they say? What he would read from them? "And how was that?"
Vivien saw Regulus pay special attention to her lips for a split second, and gaze deeply into her eyes soon. She sucked her belly in. Her throat ached nervously. She swallowed her nerves down.
"I still want you to kiss me now, Regulus."
Regulus smirked and Vivien felt embarrassed that she actually said it out loud. Is he mocking me? Playing me? The irrational and insecure half of Vivien tried to corner her into shame. But Vivien didn't want to be constantly ashamed of herself.
She laid her hand on his neck as he was towering over her with his arms on the side of her head.
Regulus felt Vivien play with his curls on his neck. He leaned his face closer to hers, the tip of his nose against hers. He was so close. Vivien parted her mouth for him but Regulus' lips landed on her nose, where he left a small kiss, rolling away from her to the other side of the bed, lying his head in the pillow. And she felt disappointed after he rejected her kiss a second time.
"And I want you to kiss me, Vi. But for now it won't happen, will it?" He murmured more to himself than to her.
She furrowed her eyebrows. What does he mean?! When she tried to initiate a kiss, he literally rejected her! And when she waited for him to make a move he still rejected her somehow!
It wasn't about a kiss for Regulus. It was more of a metaphor. Theoretically, Vivien hinted at her feelings [focusing them on her interest in his body]. Practically, it was only another method for her to avoid communicating and telling what was truly on her mind. What she truly felt for Regulus. She wanted him to just accept these hints as enough. But why would he?
So theoretically, Regulus knew Vivien had feelings for him. But practically, he didn't know what they were. Was she simply fancying him? Was she already falling in love with him? Or even just in love with him? He wanted her to tell him her feelings but she wouldn't, would she? She described the connection between them as spiritual love but was there love for him on her part? Or was it bodily for her and that's why she was so unsure of herself? He didn't know what Vivien actually felt about him.
"You think of me as mysteriousโyet you know everything about me, including my own thoughts, Vi. You tell me you are not capable of lying and you tell me you are not capable of hiding secretsโyet I know nothing about how you ever feel."
Vivien raised her head and propped herself on her elbows, gazing at Regulus.
"What are you talking about, Regulus? You know how I feel." She claimed.
"Do I?" He looked at her. It was a drilling look, analysing her soul through layers of her flesh.
"Right now I'm sore." She shrugged, disoriented of what they were talking about anymore.
"Is that it, Vivien?"
"It is, Regulus?" She answered quietly.
He snorted sourly, hearing how unconfident she was. She wasn't even convincing herself.
"That's what I thought."
Regulus didn't want to be petty but he was. It was stronger than him. He knew he already had more than he could ever deserve. He wasn't ignorant anymore. He truly felt it all. And he was selfish and greedy. But was he? All he wanted was one person. Vivien. Never in his life, he wanted anything or anyone but her. And that's the only thing he could never reach for. Even if they lay side by side in bed, she was still so far away from him. He only wanted his feelings to be reciprocated.
His parents never did. Sirius tried to, but gave up. His friends thought they reciprocated them unconditionallyโit was because they didn't fully know Regulus. Who he was. What he was able to do to survive. And he couldn't even blame the fear of dying for that.
He killed people and in that one moment he meant to kill them for his own sake. And if his friend knew, even Evan wouldn't look at him the same. Perhaps Barty would but Barty was troubled. Only Vivien knew everything. His poor sex life, his obsession with her, the most disgusting thing he had done in his life, his fucked-up family, his unhealthy body, his rudeness that she had claimed to like as it added to his attractiveness.
If Vi was scared of him, she wouldn't lie in the same bed as he did. And despite them lying in the same bed, it felt like there was an ocean separating them. Deep and wide. Why couldn't she express that she was interested in him in any other way than the most objectifying one?!
Vivien gazed at Regulus looking somewhere ahead of them. She noticed his jaw clenching, his teeth gritting. After a moment, she saw his Adam's apple bob before he looked at her.
"Just lay down on your tummy, please."
Vivien didn't try to argue or continue the discussion. It appeared she hurt Regulus somehow. She slowly turned around and laid her cheek on the pillow. Regulus softly pushed her jumper up, uncovering her back. They were trapped in thick silence, Regulus massaging her back, when Vivien tried to break out of it.
"That's not true that I know your thoughts, Rebulus." She mumbled. "Do you know why I call you Rebulus? It's your name and the word rebus. You are puzzling to me and I haven't figured you out yet. That's what worries meโthat I don't know everything about you every and each second. I cannot prepare myself because you're expressionless and you listen more than you talk."
Regulus listened, rubbing her lower back.
"That terrifies meโthat I don't know what to expect from you, therefore, I cannot understand you."
He sighed heavily, "I tell you everything, Vivien."
"Afterwards. When I can only deal with the consequences."
"I told you that you can ask me anything and I will tell you."
"That's not the same. If I have to askโtherefore you only answer my question. You don't tell me things on your own. You answer my questions. It's only things you want to share with me. Yes, you don't keep secrets from me now but you don't tell me things on your ownโtherefor, you expect me to look for them blindly, if I want to know them. You are never talking about yourself, if you are not answering my question and I rarely can notice there is something hiding when you just speak words you would like me to hear. So you don't keep things from me but if I don't figure them out, you won't share them with me. And it terrifies me because I cannot understand you, Regulus."
That's what scared her. She didn't know what was going on with him when it was going on. She only knew it afterwards whenโlike she saidโit was too late to do more than to deal with the consequences.
"I cannot protect you, if I don't know that you are in danger, Regulus."
She mumbled out at last. Again, she knew his own thoughts. She had to know what he was thinking. There was no other explanation why she told him what was separating them.
"Don't you find it ironic, Vi? You are exactly the opposite. I always know when there is something going on in your mind and no matter how much I ask, you keep avoiding answers." Regulus mused. "You only tell me things you want to share with me and I quite don't understand you either or why you don't want to share something with me, Vi."
"You don't want to share anything with me either."
"How come we complement each other so perfectly and it's not enough?" Regulus snorted.
Vivien felt the insides in her stomach do a flip from hormones, nerves, and happiness. It was stressful to hear Regulus describe him and Vi as oneโas we, and not as me and you. But it's good!
Regulus thought they complemented each other perfectly... and that it was not enough...
Vivien turned her cheek towards Regulus. She glanced at him and he glanced at her, his hands on her body.
"I guess we are a match made in hell, doll." She mumbled, smiling sadly.
"I guess we are, Vi." He smiled as sadly.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien laid, holding on to Regulus. She laid on her side hugging him from behind. He was napping. They laid like that for an hour.
Regulus felt Vivien's smaller hand sneak under his jumper and simply rest on his chest, where his heart beat, when she thought he was napping. He lay, quietly breathing, his eyes closed. He felt her soft fingers draw spirals on his skin. He felt her shift from time to time.
Their conversation had to cause her trouble. Instead of napping, she lay, reflecting on their discussion.
Vivien wondered if Regulus knew. He can't... But can he? Vivien tried to be secretive. She needed to understand everything before gathering the courage to tell him. Perhaps for once he misread me and not I misread him?
No. It was still her misreading, overly reading into his words and behaviour.
Vivien wandered in her thoughts back and forth. Did he see something and interpreted it badly? Or heard? That's what happened to Vivien whenever she was sad with Regulus. He was sad but Vivien didn't do anything upsetting behind his back nor in front of his face. He had to interpret something wrong.
Vivien shifted again, her chest hurting. She was uncomfortable in that position from soreness. Regulus opened his eyes to check the watch on his wrist and Vivien pulled out her hand from under his jumper, getting caught redhanded.
She thought he was napping.
Regulus smirked. Classes had ended and he heard the house of Ravenclaw getting lively.
Vivien plopped on her back, feeling her cheeks burn. She didn't like the idea of Regulus thinking she was groping him.
He dipped on his back too, following Vi's pinkish embarrassed face.
"You didn't have to stop." He chuckled cheekily.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep. You could tell me to stop, if it was disturbing your nap." She mumbled, biting on her bottom lip, ignoring his eyes.
"It didn't, so I didn't. I quite liked it." Regulus took Vi's hand in his softly stroking it before giving it a kiss. "The question is, why didn't you nap?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.
She peeked at him out of the corner of her eyes with her flushed face.
"My tits are hurting."
It was an effective way to silence the subject. Regulus both brows lifted.
"Do you want to massage it?" She squinted her eyes at him.
So that's how Vi was turning tables. She tried to abash Regulus.
"I think that would be against the rule." He said nonchalantly.
"What rule?" She asked slowly.
"The one about no sexual touch."
"I'm not asking you to suck them. I'm asking you to massage them. That's on you that you view my breasts only as sexual when they are meant for more than the pleasure of your lips, hands, and eyes, Regulus. I have them for feeding a baby, if I happen to have one."
Vivien tried to smartass. She was smart. She had an ass. Fine! Regulus didn't mind bantering with the smartass that Vi was.
"You happen to have one already and I happen to be it." He remarked.
"I'm not feeding you."
"No, but I like to suck on your tits."
"And that's on you."
"You like when I suck on your tits too."
Vivien sighed, "So my tits only matter to you, if they are sexual objectsโand when they are not, they don't matter?"
She narrowed her eyes pointedly like two arrows.
Regulus mimicked her squint.
"Both hurt?"
"Yes."
"Why don't we share? You left and I right?"
"Yh-ym."
Vivien liked kneading massages. With Regulus, they gently squeezed her chest to release tension and soreness. They lay quietly, holding one hand under her jumper each, when the door opened. Their heads turned lazily, but the door was already closing.
They heard Emmeline, "Absolutely not."
Laughter erupted, spilling. FRIENDS EVERYONE ARSES!
Soon the door clicked open and Pandora poked her head inside.
"Um, hi." She tilted her head, seeing the two in a quite funny situation. "Are you two playing with your chest, Vi?"
The question was followed with laughter from more than Vivien's roommates.
Regulus rolled his eyes.
"No." Vivien answered dryly but no harshโrather flat, unbothered about the whole situation. "We are massaging my boobs."
The dorm door creeped wide open, and Pandora with their friends entered the room one by one.
"Tits." Regulus corrected, whispering in Viโs ear.
"What's the difference?" She whispered to him.
"Titties are sharp and bobbies are round. You have sharp ones, so they are titties."
That makes sense. Vivien liked that analogy.
"And one day I will stab you with one of them." Nonetheless, she murmured tauntingly.
"You already did it quite a few times and please feel free to do it again." Regulus bit back at Vivien, giving her as good as he got from her.
Vivien ripped her ear from his lips to look at him.
He had smirked glued to his mouth. He whispered it into my ear with a stupid smirk on! Fucking Black!
"And because you two whisper, your sex-talk doesn't go unheard." Barty mused as silently, his tone melodical, his voice singing.
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ย ย ย ย ย "So Vi," Aurora initiated the talk after boys left the room, dragging him from the witch's bed. "What is between you and Regulus?"
Pandora sat down on the place where Regulus had laid on the mattress, leaving Cassie in her own bed. Emma and Sybile rested on Trelawney's with their feet in the pillows. But they turned around on their bellies, intrigued too.
Vivien's brows knitted together, noticing how attentive they all were to hear her.
"What do you mean?" She asked Pandora, cutely confused.
"I mean, what is going on between you two?"
"Don't you know? You're his best friend." She shrugged.
"I know what he thinks, but I don't know what you think."
"I think we're just friends."
"Noโthat's what Regulus says."
"But that's not what he thinks?"
Pandora tilted her head with a hum.
"I'm asking you about you. Not about Regulus. I want to know what you feel, Vi."
"So you want to know what I feel, not what I think."
"Do those things differ from each other?"
Vivien got out of the bed, frustrated. It was infuriating to be questioned, when Vi questioned it herself.
"Do you feel something for Regulus, Vivien?" Emmeline repeated delicately.
But Vivien was already churning with anger like a hot cauldron.
"This is so stupid. Of course, I feel something for Regulus!" She snapped, starting girls after they pushed her back and forth.
She began gesticulating mad, her stomach and lips twisting.
"I feel a lot of things for him, about him, and because of him! I desire him when he does nothing and I desire him more when he infuriates me. I want to slam him against a bed and smash my lips on his! He annoys me and that's hot. He upsets me, breaks my heart, and all I want to do is hug him and cry it out on his shoulder as he apologises to me for being so thoughtful he became thoughtless. He gazes at me and everything I ever knew is gone because around him I know nothing. The only thing around him that I know is that I know nothing. He looks at me and I'm silly. When he's close, I forget how to breathe. That's how silly of a girl he makes me. He touches me and I'm weak. He touches me and my legs fall apart. I forget how to walk. Can he carry me everywhere? He's the only person who makes it perfectly alright, even when hell breaks loose on earth. I-" love him! She wanted to shout.
Vivien loved that boy. It was just terrifying to let the whole ugly world know her feelings. The world wasn't a safe place for them. All the unknowns were petrifying her in place.
Vivien wanted to knowโto have all the answersโif that would even change anythingโthat she loved Regulus Arcturus Black. And it was frustrating. She tried to tell him and he didn't listen! He always listened until it was something he wanted to hear from her, he didn't!
"I want to see him happy and safe. And when he asks me to keep my hands to myself I do, if that's what makes him feel better! Why is it that when I hint at things, suddenly everyone is blind and deaf?!"
Vivien was red from madness. That's how madly in love she had to be with Regulus! It was gutting her from the inside outโher attempts at letting everyone know, including the one and only Regulus Black, went unheard and unnoticed. Ignored. Vivien didn't like being ignored, and that's all they did to her feelings towards Regulus.
Vivien stared between her girl-friends, flaring through her nose.
Ironically, when Regulus tried to ask her about her feelings, Vivien avoided answering but when she tried to tell him about her feelings, he ignored her.
Truly, they were a match made in hell.
They were so frustrated with each other and it only built more tension between them.
After Vivien's fury attack, her girl-friends didn't push her more.
Vivien fell silent despite Pandora having the best intentions at heart.
Vivien was angry, not in the mood for advice. Pandora and Dorcas kept to themselves what Vi confessed. They waited patiently for her to open up on her own this time. They hoped she wouldโeven after they pushed her to the edge, nearly off of it.
They would offer her every advice on earth. But their wishes were ignored, exactly like Vivien felt.
Chapter 52: disoriented
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien stood with the other sixth-years in front of a trunk that was trembling, haunted. Professor Grim leaned against it nonchalantly, stopping it from going mad. The desks around the classroom were pushed under the walls to make as much space as possible.
"Right now this boggart has no form but as soon as I open my trunk, it will change into a fear of the first person it's faced with. The truth is none knows what boggarts truly look like in their natural habitat. It's their form of defence to scare away the danger. But as I taught you with one smooth movement of the wand and quick spell-casting, you will easily defeat your biggest fears."
Riddikulus. Vivien repeated the spell in her head nervously, having a feeling she knew exactly what Grim would say next.
"Now line up everyone. We will put theory into practice."
Vivien felt her head turn light, like she was about to faint. She immediately rushed between her classmates towards the professor, the rest of sixth yearโincluding her friendsโlining up. They glanced atย her approaching Grim, who had already awaited her with a sarcastic smirk plastered on his face.
"Miss Beauchรชne, what brings you to me?" He asked, though he already knew.
Vivien felt her heart hammer dangerously in her chest, "I wanted to ask if I could not-"
"Everyone has to try, Beauchรชne. How am I supposed to teach you to defend yourself, if everyone in the class asks for the same as you do right now." He cut it, not even letting her finish.
She stared at Grim, her lips falling close, her eyes stinging at the thought itself.
He could see her eyes twitching and with that smirk, he shooed her away, always thinking she was dramatising for attention despite how little she always did in his class to avoid his attention.
Typical.
"Now, line up, Beauchรชne. There is no special treatment in my classroom."
Vivien felt her body become weak, like her soul left it behind. Hesitantly, she turned around.
Regulus already had his eyes on her. He gestured for her to come closer and he let her in front of him. They were exactly in the middle of the line. Emmeline, Sybill, Dorcas, and Pandora were before Vivien, and after her were Regulus, Evan, and Barty.
Vivien lowered her head, her heart trying to break out of her chest. She felt her hands sweat. And her heartbeat echoed through her light head.
Regulus saw the spasm that went through Vivien's body. She was panicking. He softly reached for her hand, leaning closer to her ear.
"Everything's alright, Vi. You're going to be my brave girl and you will do great. I'm here with youโI will protect you."
Vivien felt Regulus' whispering tickle, but it didn't ease her. She spasmed against the sensation and squeezed his hand to release some stress. Not enough.
Vivien stood in the line with her head low. They were supposed to rest and focus. But Vivien was anything but focused or rested. Her thoughts were running in her spinning head.
Vivien tried to think of something she was terrified of. But there were too many things that horrified her. She tried to think of one fear and focus on it. To have some control over what would happen. But she didn't know what fear she should focus on.
Vivien knew different kinds of fear.
The one that makes me sick to my stomach with pity! Death of someone close like her childhood animal. Too traumatic.
The one that makes me puke! Bugs or guts. If Vivien focused on either of these, she would faint at boggart changing into a gigantic grasshopper or beetle. And she would puke and pass out with her face in her vomit, if she saw any bloody guts splash on the ground.
Something else... The one from childhood! Water, heights, and enormous things. But Vivien had overcome those fears with ageโliving in a place like Hogwarts. She wasn't afraid of them anymore.
What else? A deep one! Being a failure or a disappointment. Or emotions. Too personal.
Maybe a creepy one? Being watched. No, that's too weird.
Something irrational. The dark space under the bed, darkness, sharp objects, forgetting how to breathe in my sleep and dying, natural disasters, something falling on my head and killing me with so many high towers around, visiting healers, germs.
Vivien hated other's germs! She feared so many irrational things. She was even scared of using a toilet sometimes after grandpa once told her he had found an ashwinder in a toilet. She was scared something would bite her in private parts!
That's creepy of me to even have such fear! Nothing that Vivien feared was normal enough to share with the rest of her year, but it was too late to check what others were afraid of, when Regulus laid hands on Vivien's waist to push her softly.
"Your turn, Vi." He tried to encourage her.
Vivien raised her head, looking around, disoriented. She didn't even realise when she was taking those steps forwardโcloser and closer to facing her own fears.
"Just focus, Beauchรชne." Grim repeated, but Vivien felt her heart hop up to her throat like a lump that wouldn't let her say the spell.
Luckily, Vivien didn't need any. A shapeless mass, that represented the chaos that Vivien was, floated and changed rapidly into random things to find her fear. Vivien clenched her hand on the wand, which she didn't even know she pulled out of her robe pocket.
She heard other teenagers, impatient for her to make her move.
"Just think of something, Beauchรชne." Someone hurried.
"Merlin," Someone else muttered under their nose.
Regulus observed Vivien stand in front of the formless boggart, another spasm going through her body. The classroom was perfectly silentโstilled, none talked. Yet, the poor thing couldn't focus. And Grim, to torture her, began tapping his foot, not reacting, watching the boggart go mad.
Vi was panicking even without boggartโs help.
Vivien felt Regulus' warmth close, leaning into her ear again.
"Vivien, do something." He hissed less supportive than before, his warmth gone, his coldness embracing her. Other teenagers began laughing at Vivien's incompetence. And she panicked, sobbing out, scattering into pieces in front of everyone. She completely turned into a mess.
Vivien made a moveโran for the door, leaving before anyone could see after everyone could hear her pathetically weep out.
Regulus didn't catch her, too stupified at first. He threw a dagger of his glare at Grim.
"Sincerely fuck you, Professor." He spat out, running after Vivien.
"Mister Black!" He ignored Grim like he had ignored Vivien.
She tried to ask him for an exception and he refused her. And when she was struggling, he didn't help her! Fucking prick!
Vivien ran through the abandoned hall all the stairs down until she turned a corner, stopping at the painting of the burning witch. She fell to her knees, sobbing on the floor.
Regulus immediately reached her.
"Shhh, it's alright."
Vivien had heard Regulus running after her, recognising the sound of his steps.
But when he tried to take her in his arms she pushed him away, pathetically scooping away on the ground.
"I did somethingโare you happy now?!" She cried out at him.
Regulus still kneeled. He raised his eyebrows trying to brush the strands of her hair behind her ear but Vivien turned her head away.
"What are you talking about, Vi?"
"Oh, so now I'm Vi , but in the classroom I was Vivien!" They heard a group of steps growing louder, but they ignored it.
"You are always my Vi." Regulus assured kindly.
"I guess not when I do badly." She wept, hiding her head lowly.
"But you did good." Regulus tried to brush Vi's hair again and she scooped away again.
"Don't lie to me!" She cried out at him, raising her chin to show him her face flushed with shame. "Everyone saw me embarrassing myself. And they laughed. And you would too, if I wasn't embarrassing you too!"
Regulus put puzzles together. He looked to the back, seeing their friends stepping down the stairs. He shook his head for them to pause. He glanced back at Vivien, who sat curled into a ball, wanting to hide herself.
"Vi, please. Take a deep breath like me." He inhaled.
Despite being upset, she still trusted him and did as he asked her to. She inhaled deeply.
"Just like that. Good. I think boggart did exactly what you fear the most. Disoriented you. Vi, no one was laughing. I didn't try to hurry you."
Vivien lifted her head, her eyebrows furrowing, her eyelashes glueing, eyes glassy and squinted to sharpen her blurry vision.
"What?" She asked.
Regulus opened his arms for her. Vivien scooped towards him on the ground to hide herself in his chest. When she rested her chin on Regulus' shoulder, she saw her friends on the stairs through her squinted eyes.
"None laughed at you. None think you embarrassed yourself. Although I think Grim embarrassed himself as our teacher." Regulus claimed quietly, rubbing her back.
"Great minds think similarly." Evan smiled sadly, and Vivien did too.
They were all smiling weakly. Evan and Barty were carrying Vivien's and Regulus' bags. With Dorcas, Pandora, Sybill, and Emmeline, they walked down the stairs, approaching the two on the ground.
Cassie crouched in front of Vivien in Regulus' arms. Finally she brushed loose strands of Vivien's hair behind her ear.
"No one is judging you, Vi. Quite a few people are judging Grim. And the rest don't care." She whispered in a soothing tone.
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ย ย ย ย ย After Vivien calmed down and tears dried off of her cheeks, she found herself in the Ravenclaw common room with her friends. They sat upstairs silently, Ravenclaws attending their classes.
Vivien lay with her head in Regulus' laps, who rested his head against the backrest, keeping one hand on the armrest and the other in Vivien's hand. He was caressing it.
No comments were made about it. Dorcas sat leg-crossed on the other couch with Barty and Evan. Evan had his arms on the backrest and Barty laid his legs on his, his arms crossed on his chest. Emmeline and Sybill shared one armchair and Pandora sat in the other.
None commented on the twoโs behaviour, even though they all were glancing at the couple. Vi and Regulus gazed into each other's eyes with only a few brief breaks, when Regulus brought Vi's hand to his lips, leaving a kiss that would cause the corners of her lips to twitch.
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ย ย ย ย ย During the dinner feast, Flitwick approached the group of teenagers.
"I would like to meet you in my office as soon as you finish your meal, Vivien." He had asked the witch.
Vivien nodded her head in understanding. She was aware that Grim had to inform Professor Flitwick about her disturbance during the Defence against Dark Arts. There was a punishment awaiting Vivien. Regulus cradled her jaw, placing a kiss on her forehead. She felt one of his thumbs rub her cheek and she melted into his touch once he told her to stay brave.
How can I possibly do that? Regulus was making her shy in front of everyoneโtheir friends watching them two.
Vivien slowly walked towards Flitwick's office on the seventh floor. She had enough time to accept her punishment. She wasn't stressed anymore as she knocked on the door. She was fatigued and given up after climbing all those stairs.
"Come in, Beauchรชne." Vivien heard.
She pushed the door open and glanced inside cautiously. Flitwick sat at his desk and Grim leaned the other side, his back facing Vivien-
Until those two professors looked at herโGrim did over his shoulder. He straightened.
Vivien hesitantly walked in. She felt her heartbeat fasten a little more than it should.
Actually, no.
She was still nervous as soon as she saw Grim and his arsehole face. He was reddish from anger due to her disrespect ruining his classes with the sixth-years that day.
"I'm glad you joined us." Flitwick said politely.
Vivien bowed her head without a word, less than glad to join them, not able to even pretend for their sake.
"I heard about the unfortunate Defence Against Dark Arts class today." He announced.
It was no surprise to Vivien and she tightened her lips in a thin line, nodding her head in understanding as she was about to be reprimande-
"And I asked Professor Grim to apologise."
Vivien felt as if she got hit with a bludger in the head. She narrowed her eyebrows, sceptical of her own ears and listening.
"What?" Shocked, she choked that much.
Flitwick stood up in his chair.
"Professor Grim and I agreed he overstepped his lines as your professor and abused the power he held over you as his student, didn't we, Professor?" He smiled fakely, glancing at Grim.
Vivien glanced at Grim too. His teeth gritted, his jaw was clenched, and she saw a muscle twitch there.
"Yes." He smiled fakely, gritting his words. From Flitwick, he turned towards Vivien. "My deepest apologies, Miss Beauchรชne."
Vivien could swear his eye twitched as he stared at her, awaiting her move. With furrowed eyebrows, Vivien bowed her head as a sign of acceptance, lost. Grim spared Flitwick one last stare, bowing his head.
Without another word, he pushed past Vivien and left the office.
Vivien observed him until the door closed with a thud. She looked disoriented between Flitwick and the door.
"How are you feeling, Vivien?" Professor Flitwick sat down, straightening his short robes.
"I-" She hesitated. "-am not sure."
"Understandable." He smiled, seeing and hearing her surprise.ย
Vivien directed her finger at the door, looking at Flitwich, "I thought I was supposed to apologise, Professor."
"Did I tell you so?"
"No, but-"
"Did you do something worth apologising for?"
"I don't know." Vivien whined.
Professor Flitwick grinned widely. "You didn't."
"But I disturbed class?"
"Not with intention of it. And it could be easily avoided." Flitwick said.
"But-"
"Vivien, what happened wasn't your fault. You asked not to participate and were forced to do something you were extremely uncomfortable with. You went through so much and you don't need to be stressed out for nothing." He elaborated further.
"But he's rightโI mean Professor Grim is. I can't expect special treatment."
Flitwick rolled his eyes at Vivien! He probably heard it once too many times in the last few minutes.
"You are a student. Every student is different and has different needs. If a student happens to be in no need of help, that's great. I'm glad and happy. But if a student happens to need help and asks for it, they shouldn't be refused it."
"But then, other-"
Professor Flitwick sighed heavily and sharply, slicing Vivien's sentence in the middle.
"How many students asked Grim to not participate in the practical part of his class before you? Or after you? Of course someone would say they don't want to do something too, if someone else doesn't have toโbut it's our place as your teachers to use our power correctly. You asked to be dismissed one time from participating in the practical part of the class and it was Professor Grim's job to make you feel safe and comfortable in his classroom. He failed. We are your teachers but we are your caretakers as long as you stay at Hogwarts. Firstly, our job is to make you safe here. Secondly, it's to teach you as much as possible. Today, you failed and it seems your classmates agree."
Vivien listened to Flitwick, chewing on her bottom lip. She tilted her head at last, observing him with her eyebrows furrowing.
"What do you mean, Professor?"
"I wouldn't know about this situation, if it weren't for Professor Grim complaining that you convinced students to miss his class in the middle of it, leaving his classroom emptied. Professor McGonagall caught a few sixth-year students, expecting an explanation. And they told what had happened during the Defence against Dark Arts class."
"Oh," Vivien's face finally softened, easing on herself. "They all left?"
"I thought you would know. Yes, your classmates all left. Some in the name of loyalty, and some in the name of lazinessโbut they all did."
"Because of me?"
"Because of the unfair treatment you experienced. I believe Professor Grim has picked on you since the first class, Vivien. Am I wrong?" She shrugged as an answer. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Again, she shrugged her shoulders.
Vivien wasn't certain if Grim picked on her. She could tell he disliked her more than other teenagersโthat he would sometimes be more critical of her and less friendly towards her than her classmates.
But Vivien had that ability of making people not like her only by existingโsome people disliked Vivien from the first look they took of her. Rarely ever, she fitted in and a lot of people could tell that and they didn't like itโthat she was sticking out from the crowd, from the group.
Flitwick took a deep breath in and out, studying Vivien. He was gazing at her, reading her.
"You were taught to think the world is cruel and brutal, Vivien. And yours might be, but the rest of it isn't. Step out of yours and you will see the beauty. You won the lottery of life, even if yours isn't colourful, but you have so many kind and loyal people around you that will add it to your existence. Don't live in your past because you have no control over it. Instead live in the future you want to have. You grow up, fed by the lies of life being a suffer, when it was the same people that lied to you to torture you, Vivien. Think about this." He told her.
Vivien observed him. She wasn't a great poet or born speaker but after seventeen years, she understood that not everything was literal. She understood what Flitwick told her. They knew it was easier said than done but Vivien liked challenges. She was competitive. She needed a sign if it was time.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien returned to the Ravenclaw Tower. It was peaceful. Ravenclaws weren't the liveliest on school days. But in the common room, she found her friends. Ambrosie and Freya were there too.
He must had been visiting her only to find his big sister's friends waiting for her. They sat all together talking, disturbing the silence of the common room. Freya sat on Ambrosie's laps with Regulus, Evan, and Barty beside them on a long sofa. Dorcas and Pandora squeezed together on the armchair with Cassie holding Rora's waist. Emma sat in the other armchair and Sybie sat on the ground resting her back against her legs, holding and petting Clรฉmentine. The little princess had to wander back after her busy day of mischief.
Vivien approached them like a little lamb.
"Hi," She said silently and smiled softly. They fell quiet. Somehow they all heard her even through the noise they were making.
"Hi," Regulus smiled, meeting her eyes instantly. She seemed alright. Not worried, upset, or stressedโat least not more than usual. "Everything's good?"
"Yeah." She nodded her head. "Flitwick made Grim apologise to me after he told on himself."
"Bad for him, I guess." Freya winked at Vivien.
"Yeah," She agreed quietly. She seemed alright but she was oddly quiet.
Regulus squinted his eyes at her.
"Are you-"
"Regulus, I'm fine. I'm tired." She assured him with a small confident smile, already knowing what he would ask.
Are you sure everything's good, Vi?, she would respond she was and he would ask, Are you certain?
Vivien even heard Regulus' voice in her head. He lived in her head. Even her brain was infected with him. Regulus spread like a plague everywhere. In Vi's head, in her body, in her life. Everywhere!
Vivien and Regulus gazed at each other a little bit too long and Dorcas smirked. She stood up, interrupting the two and their moment.
"We have to get going, Reg. We still have to meet the team before the patrol." She said, causing the eye-banter Vi and Regulus to end. They both looked at her.
Vivien nodded her head, looking between everyone.
"You all didn't have to wait for me. I'm going to the room now anyway. But thank you." She showed them her smile one last time/
Before anyone could say anything else, Vivien walked away, running down the stairs to her dormitory, her steps echoing.
In her dorm, Vivien closed the door after herself and immediately threw herself on her mattress. She closed her eyes, her cheek colliding with a cold but pleasant bedsheet. That's what she needed. When she was about to let out the loudest huff, she heard a knock on the door. She turned on her other cheek, glancing at the door that creaked open. Evan peeked inside.
"Hello," He said, entering the room alone. He closed the door soundlessly.
Vivien frowned. She suspected anyone but him. Evan Rosier was the last person Vivien suspected to check on her. Not because he didn't care. He cared a lot, Vi knew. It was because he wasn't the most tactful. And if her friends worried she was in some existential crisisโit was a bold choice to send Evan. He wasn't smooth with his words, like Vivien wasn't.
They smiled softly at each other and Evan sneaked on to her bedside.
"Bonjour," She mumbled.
He sat beside her, mattress dipping underneath his size and weight.
"Sooooo," He began.
"Sooooo?" She continued tiredly.
"What's between you and Regulus?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
Vivien groaned, falling flatly to her face. "They told you."
Evan raised his eyebrows. "Who told me what?"
Vivien sloppily sat up on her heels.
"Don't pretend. Cassie and Rora told you that I like Regulus." She accused, folding her arms over her chest.
"They didn't have to tell me anything. I already knew you liked him."
"Did they tell Barty that I fancy Regulus too? Or Regulus himself?"
Evan furrowed his eyebrows.
"Wait, you told them first that you fancy Regulus?" He laid his hand on his chest, hurt.
"Wait, wait, wait. They didn't tell you that?"
"I told you they didn't have to tell me anything."
Vivien cringed. "So you didn't know that I..." She trailed off meaningfully.
Evan smirked, leaning towards her.
"I did know. I didn't know you admitted to it already." He poked her at the nose that she scrunched. "So what are you planning to do?" He straightened back.
She shrugged her shoulders.
"Did someone ever tell you that's not the answer?" He quirked an eyebrow.
"Regulus every time I do that." Vivien answered, avoiding Evan's eyes.
He reached her, pushing her chin up to face him. He squinted his eyes attentively, looking at her for an answer.
"And what do you do when he tells you that?"
"The last thing I do is answer his question, if that's what you want me to do right now."
Evan chuckled, humoured.
"Why are you so stubborn, Vi?" He was genuine, Vivien could tell from his warm smile.
Hesitantly, she moved to sit closer beside him.
"I will tell you something, if you promise me you won't laugh at me, Evan?" She gazed at him, her voice silent and soft.
"Of course I promise, Vi." He nodded.
"I don't fancy Regulus. I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Regulus. Not even falling in love, just in love." She confessed in a whisper, gazing deeply into her eyes with her wide and round ones out of innocenceโher words pure, her tone laced with fear. "And it scares me, Evan."
"Why?" He murmured back.
"Because there are so many unknowns. Does it change anything? Is it even worth it? What if we fail? What if he breaks my heart and I break his? What if he gets bored of me?" Vivien was worried because of all the unknowns, no matter how abstract they were.
Evan cracked at last, a snort escaping him that he tried to strangle down. He put a hand to his mouth.
"You promised me!" Vivien slapped him in the chest.
"I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the absurdity you said. Regulus getting bored of you? The only thing in his life he wants is you, Vi. You make his life his. I don't know what would have to happen for him to get bored of you." He argued, enlived with entertainment Vivien worry was to him.
Vivien whined.
"And I know. And Regulus told me I am wrong about myself and that he couldn't get bored of me ever. The rational half of me believes you two but the irrational one is scared. What if he does? Because I don't know what I want for my future but Regulus in it. And what if he's not there? Then there's nothingโit's empty."
Evan frowned listening to the witch as she began gesticulating to express her worries. He didn't really know what Vi was talking about but she seemed to be stressed about it.
"If you want Regulus in your future, all you have to do is ask him to stay in it." He claimed confidently, their eyes meeting.
They gazed at each other. Evan watched Vivien turn soft, melting dawnโassumingly from his warmth. Her eyes became teary. She licked her lips, swallowing thickly.
"I'm trying but it's just-" She choked on a sob. "For every step I take with Regulus, I take two steps back. I don't know why. It feels like I'm trapped in a cycle going in circles the whole time and making the same mistakes." She wiped her eyes, tears trying to escape, her face becoming pinkish.
Evan pulled Vivien into his arms, hugging her to his shoulder.
"Because you're scared, Vi. But you are aware of it and you know how to break out of this cycle. You know Regulus wouldn't ever reject you or your feelings. I daresay he knows how to feel a little bit too good."
Vivien cried out.
It was never Vivien's intention to break Regulus' heart the way she was breaking her own. She was scared so much of being hurt but all she did was hurt him. And it all hurt her.
All Vivien wanted to do was protect her heart and protect Regulus only to hurt both masterfully.
Chapter 53: head injury
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย With spring, the quidditch season rushed.
The last week before the Slytherin versus Ravenclaw match, Dorcas made the Slytherin team train day and night like all of their lives depended on it. So did Marlene with the Ravenclaw players. Both were ready to play until the last man standing, which got everyone excited for the match.
Not Vivien though.
Vivien had other priorities, wishing the Slytherin team good luck and hoping Regulus would win, but it wasn't her own personal priority. She would like him even if he was a loser. She already liked him, even if he was a loser.
"
Disappearance in Galloway Forest Park!
On March 15th, a newly married couple of muggles disappeared on their hiking trip. Gower and Rheiawen Cadwaller were last seen by their camping neighbours on the morning of March 15th. Mister Cadwaller was wearing brown cotton trousers, a dark green woolly jumper, and a dark brown jacket. Missus Cadwaller was wearing dark blue trousers, a purple jumper, and a dark red jacket. They were on their honeymoon trip and planned to return home by Saturday. The newly married couple never returned to their tent. Families of missing ones ask anyone who knows anything about their disappearance for contact and cooperation with the muggle police.
[Contact the British Ministry for instructions on how to]
"
Vivien read the Daily Prophet during breakfast. Above the article was an unmoving black-and-white photo of a young couple on their wedding day. The bride was wearing a dress deserving a title of princessy and dreamy. The groom was wearing a classy black smoking suit without. He was holding his wife in arms, both smiling sweetly. It was a photo from a week ago. Just a week later, their happiness was ripped away from them. Perhaps they were ripped away from each other, Rheiawen ripped away from Gower's arms. Vivien chewed on her bottom lip instead of her breakfast before Regulus grasped the newspaper from her hands, folding it back.
"Eat," He said laconically, sitting beside her with Cassie.
Vivien looked at them already dressed in their quidditch uniforms. Evan sat on the other side of the table with Pandora and Barty, all wearing their casual clothes. Which was weird because they were casual.
Vivien noticed that Pandoraโs style steadily became more modern and mugglish. By any means it wasn't boringโshe wore a lot of dress suits, expressing herself more with her new clothing. She looked like a reporter with a waist sculpted by a goddess. Pandora looked good. It was thanks to Dorcas' influence, encouraging to be more bold with her clothes against her family's conservative fashion sense.
Pandora quirked an eyebrow at Vivien's eyes lingering on her. She was too focused on her for Regulus' liking. He stared at her, his brows raised, the rest smirking under their noses, snickering without a word or sound.
Regulus cleared his throat, "Eat the food, not Pandora." He gritted through his teeth and a tight smile.
Vivien looked away from Pandora to Regulus. She saw his tense face. She blushed, lowering her face to her untouched plate of food.
Regulus knew Vi and he weren't together and he couldn't be insulted with Vivien admiring someone else but he was jealous. He wanted Vi to admire him out and only him!
It's not like that!, Vivien wasn't appreciating Pandoraโs looks. Fine! She was, but more the change of it than her beauty.
Vivien could think someone was attractive and still not want them! She didn't want most of the people she thought were physically hot!
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ย ย ย ย ย Since Vivien had gotten caught, she remained shy. Before the match, she hugged Dorcas and Regulus [very quickly to not raise suspicions, which raised suspicions] for good luck. Despite the green jumper Vivien was wearing, she climbed the Ravenclaw stands.
"Beauchรชne, you traitor!" She heard someone exclaim jokingly, her friends wearing their Ravenclaw blue to bother Dorcas and give her motivation. Obviously, they wanted her to win. Nothing personal, Marlene!ย
Well, not Sybill and Evan. Obviously Sybie cheered for Emma and Evan wore green loyal to his house.
Vivien squeezed between other students leading her friends to the front with a smile on her lips.
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ย ย ย ย ย Truly, Quidditch had to change rules. Under the pressure of Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon both teams became very lively. Everyone was everywhere as soon as they floated from the ground.
Pure chaosโit was to Vivien. Dorcas was at the guard of the goalposts. Mulciber and Pucey were swinging their bats left and right at anyone, Rosalie, Carrow, and Reyes were at the Ravenclaw goalposts, causing Marlene to bend over backwards.
In the middle of it, Regulus was sneaking around the pitch.
Sometimes, Vivien even lost Regulus and couldn't find him until did it for her.
And it was clear Ravenclaw's beaters were up to the challenge of getting rid of him. Clever. They were trying to eliminate the competition.
Vivien didn't want to brag but Regulus was a great seeker! He was slim and of average height, which made him a hard target. He had great reflexes, quick and smooth, and I know something about this! Regulus was confident on the broomstick, flying like he was born with wings. He was in his element.
Unlike Clopton, the Ravenclaw seeker. Alaric Clopton was good but that was all. Good. Nothing more, nothing less. And he was an easier target, tall and less graceful with his movements. He does not have Regulus' hip motion.
The weather was nice, thankfully. Not too windy, no rain, no snow, no cloudiness. It was a breezy but sunny day in the Highlands. Vivien was wrapped in Regulus' Slytherin scarf, but her reddened nose stuck out of it. Her eyes moved around the pitch following him around.
"Black is in the lead." Felicity Thimblewick commented, many eyes focused on Regulus.
He was after the golden snitch so was Alaric. And the two Ravenclaw beaters were after Regulus but he wasn't giving up, flying like an arrow cutting through the air after the golden snitch. He was dodging the buglers, concentrated on the snitch. He swung to the left on his broom, avoiding the bludger that missed.
Vivien grabbed Evan as always. He glanced at her digging her nails into his hand, worried about Regulus. She was as focused on him as he was on the snitch, chewing on the dry skin of her bottom lip that the breezy dry air caused to her mouth.
Vivien observed Regulus speed up on the broomstick, stretching out to reach the golden snitch. Clopton barely kept up. From the distance, Vivien could swear she saw Regulus' fingers stroke the golden snitch-
One of the bludgers freshly driven with new force crushed into him.
It had hit him hard. And he lost his balance.
Everything happened so fast! Regulus lost control, going down with his broom! Vivien jumped up to feet.
"Move, move, move, move, move." She pushed through the crowd, not even waiting for her friends.
Pandora, Sybill, Evan, and Barty shared a meaningful look before they moved. Did Vi think professors would really let a student die in the name of the Quidditch game?
Vivien ran down the stairs to see Regulus slowly drift down to the ground, his broomstick floating after him. He landed on his back with Dumbledore's Aresto Momentum. Vi breathed a sigh of relief, her friends catching up to her slowly.
The game had stopped in the middle and players of both teams began landing back on the ground, Hooch rushing towards Regulus. Vi ran towards him too, to the beat of her racing heart, outpacing Hooch.
Vivien dropped on her knees beside Regulus, other teenagers approaching him in no hurry. Regulus lay on his back, holding his hurt arm to his chest. Although he wasn't sweating in pain or writhing in agony, Vivien doubted he was comfortable.
"Are you alive, Rebulus?" Were the first words that slipped down her tongue after she opened her mouth, examining him for other injuries until their eyes met.
He quirked his eyebrow.
"Oh, so now you're checking me out?" He smirked palely. "I don't know. I do what you tell me to. So am I alive or am I still dead, Vi?"
The Slytherin players and the Ravenclaw ones stared at Black, standing around. They were waiting for someone to confirm Black's death but instead they heard him romancing the witch.
Dorcas rolled her eyes. Really? Was it time for this? She had a game to win without a seeker on the team!
Hooch approached Regulus and Vivien. Vivien glanced at Madame Hooch innocently.
"I think Regulus injured his head, Madame."
Their friends and other teenagers snorted, Regulus sitting up slowly, clenching his jaw in pain.
"It wounds me to hear you say such a thing, Vi."
The witch helped him push himself and they gazed at each other.
"When all of it was to catch this for you." He slowly straightened the hand of his hurt arm and opened.
He held a golden snitch!
Dorcas gasped, their friends smiling in surprise.
"You won!" Vivien squealed immediately, smiling sweetly.
"And you gave me a headache already. Please stop squeaking like that, Vi." Evan muttered after she had already yelped into his ear, when Regulus had crashed with that bludger.
Adding to his headache, Hooch whistled, announcing the end of the game, some students cheering.
Pandora and Barty were grinning in disbelief.
Sybie wandered to Emma and the Ravenclaw team patting Marlene on the shoulder. McKinnon winked at her.
"I had a lady to impress, so I did." Regulus kept smirking confidently.
Some groaned, some laughed.
"Black, I think it's too late for Madame Pomfrey. St Mungo's is the place."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't leave Regulus' side until the Hospital Wing. Nor she did inside of it.
Madame Pomfrey mentioned some joint dislocation and Vivien was ready to scold Regulus for moving the arm to show off to her but the pain he felt was punishment enough.
Vivien and Dorcas helped Regulus take down his gear and top clothes, so Pomfrey could actually see his shoulder and examine it. Vivien and Dorcas left the room of white curtains to give Regulus some privacy.
Outside, stood Pandora, Barty, and Evan.
"How come you asked Dorcas for help specifically?" Rora asked Vivien, crossing her arms on her chest.
"What do you mean?" Vivien tilted her head.
"You didn't ask if one of us could help, but directly asked Dorcas for it." Pandora kept repeating.
Barty and Evan already knew the answer, recognising it was Vivien they talked about.
"We had to get him out of his clothes." Vi said shortly, her eyebrows furrowing enviously at Pandora.
Dorcas laughed with her hands on her hips.
"And?" Pandora squinted her eyes skeptically.
"And Dorcas is the only one, who I could be sure to not look."
Barty and Evan cracked. Pandora frowned firmly, radiating red with her face.
"Oh, I was looking. I simply wasn't interested in what I saw."
"Exactly." Vivien pointed her finger at Cas.
"I wouldn't be interested in what I saw either! He's like my fourth cousin or something!" Rora argued, outraged.
"It didn't stop you from pretending to be his girlfriend and making me believe in it." Vivien murmured judgingly, causing their friends to burst out laughing even louder, their amusement bubbling and spilling.
"She got you there."
"And Vivien left Regulus with Madame Pomfrey alone. How do you know she isn't looking?"
Vivien stared at Pandora, her lips tightened into a thin line. Vi turned around, going back to Regulus' side, after she left him alone with Madame Pomfrey even if it was stupid and irrational.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was free to go. He had his shoulder dislocated but Pomfrey gave him a painkilling potion and located it back. She gave him another potion to drink and he was supposed to come to her every morning for a week. By the time he left the Hospital Wing, it was dinner time.
Regulus was on his own after he had asked his friends and Vi to go away. He napped for a few hours alone. Vi didn't want to go but she didn't want to overstep her lines when Regulus told her that he wanted her to go. He didn't want his friends to waste their time. He was safe, a healer keeping an eye on him. Vivien nodded her head before giving him a kiss on his forehead, wishing him good sleep and leaving.
After he left the Hospital Wing fed and taken care of, he went to his dorm. In the common room, he saw people gathering to celebrate his win, a few fellow Slytherins congratulating him.
Dorcas captured him. Only when he assured her he was fine like ten times in a row, she let him pass her, disappearing herself to help with organisation of the party.
Regulus went to his dormitory, where he found Barty and Evan on the couch. Kissing.
He smirked, seeing Evan pull away, stupified like he didn't know what had happened. What overcame him to do such a thing as kissing Barty. Because it was Evan leaning to Barty, indicating who started their little make-out.
"Don't." Evam warned Regulus.
Black put his arms in the air as a sign of innocence. He didn't need to say anything. The situation in which he found Evan spoke more than a thousand words.
Regulus collected fresh clothes from his drawer and dresser to close himself in the bathroom for a shower. A long one. The longer he stood in the shower, the louder music thudded, walls nearly shaking.
Once someone knocked on his door. Dorcas tried to hurry him but Regulus slacked. He had this feeling that today wasn't over yet. He had something to do, even if he didn't know what it was. He got out of the shower and dried off his hair with his wand. He dressed, brushed his hair, washed his teeth and mouth. At last, he refreshed his breath in case it would be useful. He left the bathroom, putting on his shoes, leaving the dorm for good. When he opened the door, the music smacked him in the head. The common room was dim-lit, smelling with alcohol, trembling with music and students dancing.
He gently squeezed between them to find his friends at the table taking shots.
"Oi, Black!" Evan shouted, in companion of Pandora, Barty, and Dorcas around the round table, the four of them taking shots of a fire whisky with no chaser.
Regulus came closer and Pandora pulled him by the sleeve. She placed one cup in front of him and Barty poured him a shot.
"Your turnโyou're three out." Dorcas elaborated.
With no question asked, Regulus took the shot, not interested in it. His throat burned, when he looked around in a search. His friends lifted their eyebrows expectantly, once he leaned towards them.
"Where's Vi?"
Pandora leaned into his ear. Regulus could smell the spicy and burning odour of her breath, tasting the same on his tongue.
"I don't know. She said she was going to see her brothers. She could get stuck there for a littleโthe clowns made a party for Ravenclaw in the Gryffindor common room. But she said she would come along later."
Regulus nodded his head, gazing between his friends. "It is later now. I will look for her."
"When you find her, bring herโdon't keep her for yourself this time." Dorcas winked, tipsy others nodded their heads in agreement.
Regulus rolled his eyes playfully, leaving.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien might had lied. Again. She stood at the balustrade of the Astronomy classroom, hugging Clรฉmentine, petting her. They observed the dark sky. It was a beautiful night, colorful stars blinking at Vivien like glitter scattered delicately and precisely.
Vivien observed Regulus shine brightly. She didn't want to worry Pandora and she lied. Vivien was feeling good. She wasn't in a bad mood. Partying would be nice but it simply wasnโt one of his priorities that night.
There were other things to do first. Vi and Clรฉmentine heard steps and their ears perked up. They slowly turned their heads in the direction of the stairs. Vivien bent down, letting the little princess out of her arms.
"Dad's coming."
Regulus heard, climbing up a few last stairs. Once he stood across from her, they smiled at each other.
Regulus, classically for him, had his hands dug in the pockets of his trousers.
"Hi,"
"Hi,"
Vi turned to the sky, leaning on the balustrade.
Regulus passed Clรฉmentine, who hopped away towards Vasu's chair at the desk to rest down.
Vivien felt Regulus' presence approach her. She felt his eyes trailing off her figure. She was wearing her short heels, cigarette trousers, pink tube top, and pink cardigan.
Regulus liked what he saw, his eyes drawing along the lines of Vi's figure and she felt how he adored what he saw. A stupid grin crept on her face and her dimples showed. She bit on her bottom lip.
Regulus sighed dramatically, "You're doing it on purpose, don't you, Vi? Looking all cute, waiting for me to find you alone in an empty classroom, huh?"
Vivien glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, "Vile of you to accuse me of such a thing, Regulus. You came for me all on your own here."
Regulus leaned closer to Vivien with an audacious smirk, "I followed the smell of apples and cinnamon."
"Oh, you're hungry?" Her head tilted, her eyebrows raising subtly.
He nodded, standing a little too close to Viโnot that she minded but it did surprise her.
"Very." He whispered in an alluring tone. She licked her lips looking into his eyes. He gazed at her, his irises flickering frivolously in the starlight, reflecting the glimmer.
"You're drunk." Vivien said as she gazed gently at him, smiling softly.
"I had one shot, Vi." Regulus said, not wanting to disappoint her.
He knew she had her own problematic relationship with alcohol. Soberly, she didn't like when he drank either. Of course she never told him thatโhe had to assume that on his own.
Vivien studied Regulus' angelic little face. She believed him. She could smell fire whisky and it was an intense smell. She knew one shot of it was enough for that odour.
Their gazes lingered in silence. Vi felt her heart fasten. Her hands tightened on the balustrade like her stomach did in pits of hell.
"Can I tell you something, Regulus?" It's now or never!
Regulus softened from his overconfident smirk, smiling sweetly with his dimples after hearing Vivienโs quiet tone.
"Always."
It's time. Vivien tried to gather her courage but whenever Regulus stood at her side so closely, she felt silly and small. He was making her shy.
"I-" She looked down, trying to collect herself. She quickly glanced at him. "I like you, Regulus."
"Tell me something I don't know, Vi." He remarked.
Vivienโs heart raced, making Vivien's head spin with all the running thoughts. She rolled her eyes. Stupid. Tell him something he doesn't know. Fine. Not that hard.
"I forgot to mention," She flicked her wild eyes on him but this time they stayed on him. "I am in love with you, Regulus."
Regulus observed Vi, giving her time to take back her words, saying she was just jokingโthat she was trying to catch him off guard.
She didn't take them back.
"And I told you to tell me something I don't know."
Vivien scoffed at his audacity, turning her face the other way, her cheeks burning.
"If you're not drunk, then you're stupid."
Regulus reached for her chin, his fingers instructing her face to his.
"Only because you make me like this." He whispered, his toxic breath warming.
Before Vi could register what was happening, he kissed her. Slowly, passionately, and longingly.
She closed her eyes, their lips flowing like they were on a breeze. She felt a shiver at Regulus' hand sneaking to her lower back, bringing her body into his arms. She laid her hand on the side of his neck, the other clutched his jumper. Her heart raced madly in her chest.
Vivien had never been kissed like this before. Even by Regulus himself. She felt him separate a little.
Regulus saw how Vivien opened her eyes but her full pink lips didn't close. He had truly astonished her. He smiled, placing a hand on her cheek to caress it, leaning his back against the balustrade after he changed his and Vi's positions.
He matched the view of the spectacular sky behind him.
Vivien closed her mouth and swallowed to clear her throat.
"Is it real, Regulus?"
Her smaller hand finally loosened on his jumper and she felt his heart thud beneath it.
Regulus nodded as an answer.
"Who told you? It was Dorcas and Pandora? Or Evan? No, no, no. I know. One of them told Barty, and he told you, didn't he?"
He snorted, shaking his head.
"You just did, Vi."
"But you said-"
"I had my own suspicions. But neither Evan or Cas and Panda told me you talked to any of them about me."
Vivien felt her cheek simmer.
"But I did. I mean more like they did to me, but we have talked about you." She murmured like a mouse behind a broom.
"And how was it?" He asked slowly in his charming tone, stroking her warm cheek.
"With Pandora and Dorcas, I yelled. With Evan, I cried." She smiled sadly but sincerely.
"Was it that scary?"
Vivien watched Regulus' eyes flicker like the stars in the sky. She smiled tightly.
She nodded.
"My brave girl." Regulus smiled, pressing a petal-soft kiss to her forehead and parting soon.
But Vi stood on her toes, reaching for his lips with hers. She gave him a tiny kiss before separating, rubbing her fingertips on his jumper mischievously in innocence of the act.
"Do you want to go to my room to continue, Regulus?"
He chuckled, "This conversation?"
"Yeah, yeah. This conversation. Em and Bibie are partying at the Gryffindor common room, and Rora is-"
"At the Slytherin common room, so none would interrupt us and our conversation?"
"Exactly."
Regulus left a kiss on her lips before parting.
Vivien took a hold of his hand and led the way. They left Clรฉmentine alone. She always found her way to one of themโor in that case to the two of them.
Vivien felt Regulus corner her leading their steps. His hands found their place on her waist and his lips on her neck, giving her goosebumps. When they were walking the stairs in the Ravenclaw Tower, Vivien's legs barely worked. She yanked away from him, spinning around with her finger pointed.
"You are misbehaving, Regulus." She pushed him until he was pinned to the wall with his foolish smirk.
Regulus wasn't that bothered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
"What are you going to do about this?" He shrugged.
"I won't take you to my room." Vivien squinted her eyes playfully leaning towards him.
"What? You will take me here, Vi?"
Vivien liked that. Regulus was challenging her. He was looking at her with raised brows to say, Your move.
Vivien slowly dragged her nail on his jumper down his chest to his abdomen. She was giving him a chance to bite off his tongue for his words. He didn't and her finger hooked on his belt. She unbuckled it aggressively, They gazed into each other's eyes, when Vi sneaked her hand into Regulus' trousersโhis boxers to be exact.
Regulus didn't gasp but Vivien could tell he sucked his belly in after she took him into her cold hand, massaging him. He didn't give up until Vivien reached under her top with her other hand. The risk of Vivien being seen topless or pantiesless by anyone else than him was too big. He grasped Vivien in his arms and made her walk the stairs hurriedly. She did with her fingers still teasing him.
"What is tall when young and short-"
"A candle."
The teenage boy urges made Regulus a genius.
Mercilessly, Vivien kept playing with his balls. As soon as the door of the common room closed, Vivien turned in his arms and they smashed their lips, stepping everywhere. Clumsily, somehow they made it down the stairs to Vivien's dormitory, only once nearly tripping down.
Still, they smacked each other's lips together and finally entered the room. The door thudded close after Regulus shut it, kicking it blindlessly in a kiss with Vi.
Decisively, Vi and Regulus took off his jumper a little too eagerly. He hissed and winced in pain.
Vivien cringed.
"Shite, sorry." She said, throwing the jumper on the floor. She looked at Regulus, who had to slowly lower his right arm down. "Does it hurt it like that all the time?"
"No, no." He massaged his shoulder for a second only to let go of it, looking at Vivien in front of him with a smirk.
"Where did we stop? Right."
He kicked off his shoes and she smiled, kneeling down to take his trousers and boxers down.
Regulus helped Vivien stand up and she led him to her bed by his bare waist, Regulus all bare for her. He stopped in front of the edge and she sat down at it.
Regulus' brows were together when Vivien was at an imaginative level.
"Don't worry, Regulus. Let me take care of you. Tonight, you're the patient and I'm a cute nurse." He nodded his head in understanding.
Vivien had figured out Regulus was in no state for her to share an act with him that evening. Vi was a chaotic lover and she had no intention of hurting Regulus because of it.
To his surprise, her small fist locked on his cock and her lips landed on his belly.
Vi massaged him, hardening in her hand.
And her lips, oh those sweet lips, on his bodyโthey were making him shiver. They were all over his skin, wet and smooth, her tongue warm. She was kissing on his belly, on his hips, and even went down on his thighs. Very, very nice. And a few times, she licked his skin and blew on the wet spots, causing goosebumps all over again.
He felt her smaller hand squeeze his bum cheek. She massaged him until he was fully erected and her lips disappeared from his body.
Regulus observed her attentively. She spat out on him, looking up at his face with her sinless big eyes to convince him she wasn't doing such a naughty thing. She began kissing his body once more, using her tongue. Her hand massaged him up and down moving smoothly. Regulus closed his eyes, his head falling to his back.
"Fuck," Vivien heard him let out under a breath.
Feeling bold, she parted away.
"Doll, look at me."
And he did, while coldness embraced him.
Vivien took off her cardigan leaving her in her tight top, only to pull it over her head. She let it drop on her mattress, her tits out in front of Regulus. She looked up at him, grasping his cock again.
"Regulus, be a good boy and come on me. On my tits." She straightened to show off her chest the nicest she could, lying her free hand on her breast playing with it.
Regulus felt tense, reaching for her other breast.
Vi was desperate for Regulusโeven if she knew that night, it was for the best to not find herself on top of him. She was clenching her thighs, imagining how he would feel between them. She listened to his moans, kissing his skin. She was so desperate. She tried to be patient but having her tits taken care of by Regulus playing with her aroused nipple caused the flush to appear on her face and chest. Her lips opened a little and she breathed through them.
"Fuck, Vi. I'm close." Black mumbled out and Vivien speeded up her movements.
"Just like this... Finish for me, doll."
Vi's words were a spell to Regulus. He did exactly what wished for. He cummed on her chest, gazing down at her. She gazed up at him. She smiled, smashing her lips on his belly kissing along his, raising. She left a trail of kisses along his torso until she kissed his throat, her lips grazing his bobbing Adamโs apple. When she straightened, Regulus kissed her, placing his hands on her bare ribs. She rested hers on his chest.
"My pretty Vi." He mumbled between their kisses, when it was his turn to sneak his hands into her trousers. They warmed her arse and he squeezed it tightly. He parted, looking deeply into her eyes. "I want you."
Vivien looked at him with her angelic blushing face.
"I want you too, Regulus, but not tonight." She announced.
Regulus' face quickly fell from satisfaction to dissatisfaction. He wasn't feeling fulfilled anymore.
"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed, his face insulted.
Vi had seen Regulus so fussy for the first time in her life.
She laid her hand on his right shoulder, rubbing it gently.
"I don't want to hurt you by accident, Regulus."
"Hurt me on purpose then." He proposed.
She stood up on her toes.
"You're sweet but I don't think so." She poked him in the nose with her own.
"But you gave me my pleasureโwhat about yours?"
"It will wait, Regulus. You will give it to me another night. Many countless nights."
"You promise?"
"Do you?"
"I do."
"So do I then."
Vivien and Regulus kissed like they did on the Astronomy Tower. Slowly. Deeply.
Everything was happening so unhurried.
Regulus went on his knees and took off Vivien's trousers and panties. He led her onto the mattress towering over her. He was kissing everywhere. He tasted every inch of her skin. Her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, her shoulders, her chest and breasts. He tasted her ribs one by one, and then belly, hips, and thighs.
He held her by her waist until Vivien felt one of his hands leave it. His fingers tried to wander off to her cunt but she tangled her fingers with his and held his hand away from her down there.
Regulus got the massage, Vivien had the last word. No making love that night. She let him suck her skin, bite on it, tease it, and kiss it as she gasped, panted, and moaned for their pleasure until Regulus fell beside her on her mattress. Vivien rolled on her belly closer to him. She rested her hands and chin on his waist.
They smiled.
"You still have cummy titties."
"You didn't mind it when you were kissing them, Regulus."
"I didn't say it disgusted me, Vi."
Vivien smiled wider, stretching out to Black's lips. She felt his hand on the small of her back drawing some letters on her.
'I-'
'l-o-v-e-'
'y-o-u'
He wrote down.
I love you too.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus wiped Vivien's chest with a wet towel and she dressed in her favourite jumper of his. He laid back down with one arm folded under his head, observing her.
Vivien grinned, biting on her bottom lip. She sat over his belly. He took her hands in his, and his eyes treated her so tenderly and caringly. Vivien blushed, lowering her face.
"Forget me and I will live to die. Love me and I will be eternal, Regulus." She whispered, looking up at him shyly.
Regulus' heart skipped a beat. That surprised himโVivien was really trying to act romantic. For him.
"Are you trying to get me into your bed, Vi? Because I'm already here."
Vivien giggled, "I'm trying to put a spell on you like you charmed me."
"You've already cursed me, isn't that enough?" He chuckled.
Vivien tilted her head, her own laughter dying out, her eyebrows furrowing.
"What do you mean? When did I curse you?"
"You don't remember?"
Vivien shook her head.
Regulus snorted. "After your first potions here, you cursed me."
She frowned firmly. "Who told you that? I did not do such a thing."
"Literally everyone poked it at me."
"I did not curse you, Regulus!" She protested, gesticulating their hands.
"Are you sure?"
"I am. I did curse you out, but there was no spell-casting or mysterious books involved."
"Huh," Regulus' brows knitted together.
Vivien leaned closer to him.
"This everyone shouldโve checked their hearing. I thought you didn't listen to rumours, yet you believed in that one, Regulus. If I cursed you, I would make you many things but in love with me. After potions, I thought you were annoying and impolite to me because I am a girl or something. I cursed you out. I called you names and said mean things."
Years prior, Vivien heard the rumour that she supposedly cursed Regulus and it went wrong. If I did, I would be successful!, it was insulting that others doubted her ability to curse someone. Wizards needed to listen better. Curse out!, not Curse!
"So there was no bewitching?"
"No."
"Good because you would waste your time, Vi. I was already in love when I saw you on the train." Vivien melted down, lying on Regulus flatly to hug him tightly.
"You liked me even before you knew if I was muggle-born, half-blood, or pure-blood?"
"I never liked you because of your status. I liked you because you were challenging, Vi. You stood up to Carrows when they said what we all thought, sitting at that table. None ever before challenged me to look further than the tip of my nose and you stood up to all the beliefs I was taught to believe in."
Regulus' arms locked around Vivien. Vivien gave him another kiss. He deserved all of them. Every single one of them.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien took her turn playing on Regulus with her lips. He thought he had repaid her for all those times when she left him painted in hickeys. She was covered but so was he in the end. As always. She even gave him hickeys in places he didn't know it was possible to have hickeys.
Like on the belly or thighsโinner thighs to frustrate him. She seemed very aware of what she was doing, when he was propped on his elbows looking down at her. She was looking up at him with big round eyes, marking him around his private part with her full lips.
At last, she asked him to turn on his back, and she gave him a gentle massage, avoiding touching his right side too much. She mostly focused on his lower back as she sat on his bare bum.
Regulus lay on his cheek, his eyes closed. Until he felt Vivien hit her pubis against his arse. He opened one of his eyes to glance at her from the corner of it. She was already looking at him.
"I was intrigued how it feels to have a penis."
"Are you still?" He mumbled out sleepy.
"No," Vivien sighed. "I guess it would be better, if I had penis to check out how penis feels. How does your penis feel?"
"Right now?"
Vivien shrugged her shoulders moving, to the side from Regulus and his bum.
"Tired."
She laid down beside Regulus. She rested on her cheek, facing him.
"Then, I think you should go to your dormitory. I wouldn't want girls to see you naked and marked here."
Regulus opened both of his sleepy eyes.
"What?" He thought he would be very much staying the night at Vivien's, having no interest in going to his own dorm or sleeping in his own bed!
Vi chewed on her lip and Regulus' prominent brows furrowed together.
"I'm sorry. I just-I want to take it slowly, if you don't mind, Regulus. I just want to do it in my own time."
"You want to hide it from our friends?" Regulus murmured silently, his heart aching at the thought.
"No!" Vivien denied immediately, her face falling, her eyes closing to take a moment and find the correct words. "I want to tell them tomorrow in my own way. Not like getting caught with you in bed. I want to tell them but not the whole world, Regulus. Not so soon. It was taken from me too many times and I want to keep you for myself for once." She laid her hand on his cheek. "I hope you understand it, Regulus. I want you for myself."
Regulus understood. He smiled softly before taking her hand in his and kissing it. Tiredly, he got up from her bed and picked up his clothes to put them on.
Vivien sat up, watching him for a sign that he was mad. When he was dressed, he sneaked to her, leaning on the mattress towards her to steal one more kiss. And another one. And another.
Vivien smiled. She slipped in some pyjama bottoms and her Converse sneakers to walk Regulus to the door. Quietly, they climbed up the stairs, holding hands.
But the closer they were to the Ravenclaw common room door, the more hesitant they were, simply not wanting to go their separate ways ever again.
They stopped at the statuette of Rowena Ravenclaw.
"Go," Vi said, closing her eyes and putting her hand over them to not see him do so.
She felt Regulus walk away one step, then two, as she still held his hand until he pulled her to him.
Vivien took the hand off her eyes, landing in his chest. Regulus took her in his arms with his hands on her bum. She grinned widely, knotting her hands around his neck, their hearts beating together to the same pace of romance and hormones.
Vivien saw the shadow of a grin on Regulus' mouth before he smashed them against hers. She felt him pick her up and sit her down on one of the cabinets, taking place between her parted legs. He kissed her intensely before pulling away to whisper.
"Make me go away, Vi, becauseโฆ" He kissed again, hungry for more, starving, craving. His appetite grew the more he kissed her. "I won't go away on my own. I don't think I can."
Vivien felt Regulus hands warm under her jumper on her ribs so close to her breasts. His thumb stroked her skin. Vivien rested her hands on his waist, pressing their bodies inhumanely close. She wanted to melt into the one and stay with him forever. They were happy enough, holding each other to ignore the noise. They ignored the murmuring tones.
Vivien ignored it too happy to care whether or not the whole world knew that she was deeply in love with Regulus assclown fucking Black in that moment. She brought him to her. And she heard some whistles and howls of approval.
Regulus smirked against Vivien's lips, kissing her some more in the candlelight for Ravenclaws to see. It seemed Vi didn't care that other Ravenclaws saw him all over her with their hands on each other, when a lot of the skin that was showing on both of them was marked by lovemarksโmany of them.
If anyone thought it was obscene, they should be grateful, thanking Merlin for Regulus being in clothes because they wouldn't believe their eyes. At least he couldn't at all the lovemarks on his body.
"Wait-"
"Vivi?!"
"Black?!"
The couple parted to their minimum, turning their heads towards Freya, Marlene, Emmeline, and Sybill, who broke their to see what the fuck, walking towards the dormitories, squinting their tipsy eyes.
"Traitor on our land!"
Regulus smirked and Vi tried to mask her smile. Some Ravenclaws began chanting playfully, drunk.
Suddenly, Vivienโs and Regulusโ heads snapped, hearing someone clear their throat. Flitwick stood at the cabinet with his arms crossed.
Regulus shamelessly pulled out his hands from under Vi's jumper.
"Beauchรชne, Black, if you parted-" He looked them up and down. "Your ways now, you two would save me some time."
"Vi and Black, sitting in the tree k-i-s-" Galen Clearwater along with his friends turned around and walked backwards, teasing the two with Alaric Clopton.
Flitwick looked at them.
"Thank you for the massage, gentlemen. I think we all got it."
Clearwater sent Vivien a kiss and she sent him one back. Regulus was looking at her and another boy sharing such a gesture, insulted. He stood between her legs!, Regulus had to have a conversation about boundaries with Vi.
"Does Mister Black need help finding his way to his own dormitory or...?" Flitwick began tapping his foot, noticing Black completely forgot about his presence.
Regulus glanced at him, no thought behind those big eyes.
"No, but thank you for the offer, Professor." He said, stealing the last kiss from Vivien's lips.
When he pulled away, she was blushing as if Flitwick hadn't already found them in a very telling position and situation.
Vivien watched Regulus go. Before he stepped out of the door, he turned around winking at her.
Vivien smiled sweetly at Regulus disappearing from her vision. She looked around the common room. It was emptied since all the Ravenclaws made it to their dormitories. The only person in there was Flitwick, who observed her unconsciously kicking her feet happily. Vivien cringed at herself, dropping down to the ground on her own two feet.
"I left my world, Professor." She commented awkwardly.
"I can see that." He said with a tight smile.
"Goodnight, Professor." Vivien said, bowing her head, walking away towards her dorm hurriedly to not test her grounds with Flitwick too much.
"Goodnight, Vivien."
Chapter 54: empty head
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vi woke aloneโin her bed but in her dorm too. In the bathroom, she stroked the lovemarks she wanted tattooed on her body for eternity, imagining it was Regulus' gentle skin skimming against hers. She dressed in a polo neck to hide it. She slipped into trousers and loafers and tied her hair in her style.
On her way to the Great Hall, Vivien kept her nose high but when she entered it, suddenly she felt so tiny in that huge hall crowded with peopleโstudents, professors. Some teenagers glanced in her direction before whispering to each other. Vivien put her hands behind her back and tried to keep her chin highly.
They all know! They know that Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne is madly in love with Regulus Arcturus Black!
Vivien was not prepared to face the world in the new reality. They all know! They all wanted to take it from her. They all wanted to take Regulus from her. She passed Clopton, who playfully coughed out a word traitor to tease her. She smiled palely at him.
Vivien came to her friends with a small smile, even though it felt like she would never make it to the seat along the never-ending table, feeling nervous.
Her roommates were sitting. Vivien didn't really talk to Emma, Sybie, or Freya about what they saw. When she entered the dorm, she shrugged them off and Em scowled her face at her. Pandora returned only when they were all asleep, even if it didn't show on her glowing face. She beamed at Vi the brightest despite the lack of sleep. Em and Bibie sat at the other side of the table with their own smiles.
"Little birdie told me about some tree." Pandora began meaningfully. "Something about Vi and Reg being naughty and getting caught-y."
Vi bit her bottom lip, sitting down on the bench, her face lowered to hide it. She shrugged it off. Again! She reached for a toast and smeared jam on it. Before Vivien could react, Evan stretched her polo neck down, when he was approaching hurriedly with Barty and Cas. He uncovered a little but it was a lotโenough for them all to see her throat.
"Oh myโฆ," Cassie exclaimed excitedly.
"You naughty fox." Barty chuckled, teasingly but weakly hitting her shoulder.
Vivien blushed.
She wanted to tell them about her and Regulus with him together but it was going all wrong. It appeared that her friends were too excited and they were about to tell Vi about her and Regulusโas if she wasn't there and they were. She looked between them, abashed. I am stupid and impulsive. I let myself get caught and am shocked that I am the talk of the morning?!
"How-" She swallowed a bite of the toast like it was a whole loaf of bread. "How do you know?"
She knew how her roommates found out but not how others did.
Did Regulus tell them alone? He didn't wait for me?
"Rosalie accidently walked on Regulus, when he was showering." Cassie sat down with the boys beside Vi.
The witch raised her eyebrows.
"What." She asked dryly. Why was Rosalie anywhere close to Regulus?
"Let's say that when Regulus was coming back from your two's forbidden forest trip, me and Evan went on our own in their dorm, and he had to sleep at Cassie's."
Girls stopped eating looking at Crouch and Rosier for confirmation of what Barty said. Not Vivien.
Vivien tilted her head.
"What?" Her tone startled. She looked between the boys and the girls, who glanced at her, realising she didn't get the hint.
Cassie leaned towards her, elbowing her joyfully.
"Evan lost his value."
"Oi!" Evan shoved her on the shoulder, offended when girls giggled.
Vivien processed the information. Evan lost his value?
"What value? I didn't know he was even for sale to begin with."
"After a night with Barty, I doubt he is." Emma mumbled with her mouth full.
Oh... after a night with Barty...? AFTER A NIGHT WITH BARTY?!
Vivien perked up in her seat happily, for a moment forgetting about her worries.
"You lost your virginity, Evan! We need to throw a party."
"Certainly, Vi." He rolled his eyes but smiled, the rest erupting like churning cauldron.
"Anyway," Cassie continued with a grin. "Rosalie didn't know Regulus was at ours. She was still half-asleep and he was showering... She accidentally walked into the bathroom when he was in it." She said slowly, Vi observing her without blinking.
"Rosalie saw Regulus naked." She spoke up flatly, her face serious, looking over her shoulder towards the Slytherin table with her livid eyes. Others tried to not laugh to not bother her more.
"She did but more than she was focused on his cock size, she was focused on the hickeys surrounding it."
OH... Vivien looked back at her friends a bit less tough. She flushed twice as red as she had before.
"It's not what it seems like." She said silently, biting into a toast.
Cassie nudged her.
"Surely, it isn't." It truly isn't!
Vivien's stomach did a dangerous flip once she tried to eat her toast. Pandora glanced at Dorcas, noticing Vivien was overwhelmed. She shook her head as a sign. Cassie and the boys saw it and they stopped bugging Vi, realising she wasn't being shy.
Vivien didn't mean to ruin her friendsโ good moods. They were stressing her out. It didn't go like she wanted. Before she fell asleep, she imagined how she would do it. She planned to do it with Regulus. He would join her or she would join him during breakfast but now he was nowhere to be seen and her friends already knew she got close with him and they got the wrong idea. They pressured her a little too hard about it. She knew they wereย happy but she wasn't as she pecked on her toast nervously. She was so tiny in the enormous Great Hall. She was nothing compared to it-
Vi felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Pandora move away to the side. Vivien looked up to see Regulus take a seat beside her.
"Hi," He was smiling so purely with his dimples.
"Hi," She murmured under her nose.
Regulus immediately noticed Vivien's sheepiness and he brought her closer into a kiss to release it. At least that's what he thought he was doing, her lips against his.
Vivienโs stomach did another flip and she felt a toast crawl in her throat. Small, she pulled away from the kiss.
Their friends were already watching them. Vivien felt the whole world watching her, judging her, and criticising her. She didn't deserve Regulus. Such a good boy. She would hurt him and if not then the world would because of her.
Regulus saw Vivien turn away from him too eagerly but he didn't let his friends see his concern. He was worried and slightly humiliated. Why did Vi pull away so eagerly? They wanted to let their friends know what was really between them, didn't they? She protested in the night when he even asked if she wanted to keep it between just the two... Did they tell her about the accident in Cas' dormitory? Was she hurt because of it?
Regulus looked too nonchalantly between his friends.
Vivien hid again too shyly.
"What?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at all of them.
Emmeline wiggled her eyebrows, not saying a word to not stress Vivien out. Sybie smiled at him. All of his friends were smirking meaningfully.
Evan began tapping his foot impatiently.
"Don't you have anything to say, Reg?" He asked pointedly.
"Don't you, Evan?"
Vivien took a deep breath and looked up from her plate.
"I'm in love with Regulus." She said silently, wanting to get it over with.
All of her friends looked at her. Regulus smiled again and Vivien looked at him, biting on her bottom lip nervously. He leaned in to kiss her and stop the bloody habit of hers. But instead he kissed her on the cheek. She turned her face away from him at the last second. And it was his stomach to do a flip.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vi acted normally. She spent a day in bed with Regulus, their friends giving the two their time. They napped a little and kissed a lot. They cuddled and talked about nothing important. Regulus waited for Vivien to speak up about what was making her so stressed but she never did.
They did their homework togetherโRegulus read and Vivien would draw some nonsense, claiming it helped her to focus and listen after he asked her why she did that. He had noticed her doing so during classes before.
But as soon as Vivien and Regulus left their privacy, the issues always began. When he tried to kiss her in front of others, his kisses were limited to her cheeks and forehead. Vi didn't even try to kiss him a single time. Holding hands wasn't an option unless it was Vivien, who initiated it secretly under tables. Hugs were only side-hugs.
And Vivien spent her night in her own bed and Regulus in his very lonely one to his disappointment.
Regulus closed the door of the unused classroom during the Monday lunch break. He and Vi were starving and cravingโone another. Regulus faced Vi and she immediately pushed him against the door, crushing her lips on his, her hands sneaking onto his waist.
Regulus was responding to all of it. His hands pulled her closer to him by his hips. But Vivien was kissing him to silence him. To keep him quiet. To please himโso he wouldn't say anything, when they knew something was wrong.
Vi was acting wrongly. Regulus straightened against the door, tilting his head so far he made his mouth unreachable for Vi.
Vivien's heart thudded after Regulus tipped to the back and looked at the ceiling of the old dusty classroom with a sigh. And she couldn't reach his lips to stop him. She saw his Adam's apple bob.
"What is going on, Vi?" She heard and her hands loosened on Regulus' waist.
He lowered his head, facing her, seriousness lacing his features.
Vivien didn't want to talk about her feelings. And all Regulus always wanted to do was talk about her feelings. Why did she act the way she did? How she felt about anything, how she felt with anything. She felt his hands loosen on her.
Vivien rolled her eyes. It was stronger for her to be frustrated. Feeling talk is what I hate!
Regulus felt infuriated,. noticing Vivien rolled her eyes at him. He constantly tried to help her with her feelings, and she was the one done with it?!
"What do you mean?" Vivien asked flatly, her face blank.
She turned away and walked towards the nearest desk, where she sat down across from Regulus.
"I mean, what is going on with you? Between us, Vivien? Why are you acting like that?" Regulus pushed himself off the door, coming closer to her.
"Acting like what?" She shrugged.
Regulusโ eyes twitched, seeing her neutrality.
"Like you regret it?" He asked with the heaviest heart and the quietest tone.
That's how he feltโlike he was regretted since she was ashamed of his closeness in public and in front of anyone other than them two. It was humiliatingโacting like nothing happened when others saw Vivien reject Regulus' kisses and touches. In one day, she did that more than she had during the last ten months.
Regulus stopped in front of Vivien and they stared into each other's eyes. He felt the coldness surrounding her that he had never before experienced. Her wild eyes were sharpened to shoot him with a metaphorical arrow at any second. Vivien knew Regulus was right but she was so fucking frustrated with herself, him, everyone else, and the whole world. She was frightened. She rarely ever acted rationally under pressure.
"Maybe I do?" She asked, feeling her chest hurt like someone had grabbed her heart and ripped it.
Regulus' lips opened in shock. He suspected a lot but not that. He studied Vivien's face with his eyes twitching and vision blurrying. He saw her eyes twitch but he saw her locking jaw. He knew she didn't mean it because her eyes turned glassy despite her great efforts to keep it in.
He didn't understand why she liedโ hell, probably she didn't even know why she lied instead of telling him the truth but it hurt that she lied like that. She said it straight into his face in such an awful way that he didnโt care. He hurt.
"Is that so?" Regulus chuckled bitterly.
Vivien shrugged her shouldersโless confident than before.
"You know what, Vivien? I'm fucking done too." Vivien watched Regulus put his hands into the pockets of his trousers, straightening nonchalantly in front of her from how his shoulders had fallen before. "All I'm always trying to do is help you, but all you want to be is miserable. So feel free to be miserable, Vivien. Just don't come to me crying. I deserve many things but not this from you." He said emotionlessly.
It was only his eyes that revealed his true feelingsโthey looked like cracked glass with all tears stinging the corners of it. Vivien felt her own eyes prickle.
"Great." She bowed her head.
Regulus scoffed in disbelief. Great.
"Explain to me one thing. You owe me that. Why did you tell me yesterday night about your feelings? Just to get me into your bed because you miss my dick so much?"
Vivien didnโt have a right to feel mad but didโtowards Regulus after he matched her attitude. She hurt him and he hurt her back to make her taste her own potion. It was fair and Vi knew it. Yet that didn't mean she wasn't insulted, feeling dishonoured. Vi knew Regulus couldn't always be a better person than her. She sat at the desk breaking Regulus' heart, and he stood in front of her breaking Vivien's heart backโreturning the favour.
"Exactly." Vivien agreed, fakely careless. "I desired your dick but I couldn't have it, so I had to change plans."
She could. Regulus asked her to but she was the one to decline because she didn't want to hurt him. Ironic. And Regulus lost his mind. Vivien objectified him one time too many, treating him like he was just his bodyโhis cock.
"Thanks for honesty." Regulus turned around to walk away. He picked up one of the two bags lying at the door. He straightened. "Oh by the way, you have a nice pussy tooโworth the wait, Vivien." He said sarcastically with his poisonous smirk, words dripping from his tongue like venom.
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows at Regulus saying something like that. He grasped the door handle, opening the door to leave.
Vivien stood up abruptly.
"Fuck you, Regulus!" She spat out after him.
A few teenagers passing the old classroom glanced inside at Regulus and Vivien.
Regulus looked at Vivien over his shoulder, his smile tasting sourly on his tongue like bile.
"That you've already done. It's all you've done by now, Vivien. Might try something else." He snorted, ignoring how he made a show with her.
Vivien saw his teary eyes as he laughed through his pain
"I miss when you hated me, Vi, because now it feels like we're further away from each other than ever before and you do it every single time. I don't deserve the way you treat meโthe way you pull me in and push me away."
At that moment Regulus figured it outโhe had to give up. He couldn't help Vi. She didn't want it. He couldn't save her. How could he protect her from herself? She declined all his offers every chance. She rejected his offers and him. Perhaps it wouldn't even hurt like hell, if she only did it properly, not rubbing salt in all of his wounds.
They stared at each other and Regulus' heart was breaking.
Vivien's face twisted in hatred. She had no right to be mad at him but she wanted to find someone else to hate more than she hated herself.
But Vivien couldn't hate Regulus. She was mad because he was breaking her heart. She wasn't even close to hating him when he left the classroom, closing the door with a silent click. She stood there, staring at where he had stood until she turned around, slamming a stupid chair into the ground. Outside the castle, thunder echoed.
Regulus was right. Vivien didn't even know why she always tried to destroy everything in her life that was good. And Regulus was the best of all of it. So she kept destroying him and his feelings for her time after time, tearing them all apart piece by piece until there was only this raw bitterness left.
And he had every right to be bitter and more.
Vivien kicked the stupid chair. She wanted so badly to shout and scream. To hit her stupid empty head. To smash it into the wall. To explode from inside out with inner frustration. She was miserable like she always tried to achieve.
If someone didn't put Vivien in misery, she taught herself to do it perfectly on her own. Vivien left the stupid broken chair like she was. She stomped towards her own school bag at the door, grabbed it, and left the classroom with the door slamming.
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ย ย ย ย ย Another door closed, another smack. Vivien entered her dorm, pushing the stupid dresser to the ground. And the cheval glass in the other corner of the room that shattered on the ground. She messed her bedding, ripping and throwing it around the room. She tore the stupid sketch from the wall, crushing it and throwing it somewhere on the ground. She took her anger out on anything but herself.
Vivien tried so badly not to hurt herself as she deserved that punishment. But she didn't. Smashing her hands, feet, and head into the wall wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't fix her. She was broken. There was something broken inside of her.
If Vivien was asked to draw her insideโher soulโshe would choose the sharpest pencil and dug the pointy piece into the parchment, tearing and ripping it. She would drag the pencil back and forth. She would stab and she would slice the parchment until it was all black and destroyed.
Vivien didn't consider herself to be hollow. She was full inside, full of so many thingsโmemories and emotions. There was a certain darkness inside of her among it all. In her veins, it wasn't the blood to swim. It was loathing and hostility that roared through them. Her heart pumped that hatred for it to always get infected by it. Her mind was poisoned by fears and her memories were spiked by sadness. If someone opened Vivien's stomach and took her organs out, they would all be rotten to the core.
Vivien didn't think of herself as beautiful inside as she was outsideโas of now she knew that everyone saw her to be not only herself and Regulus. And whenever Vivien opened her mouth, the ugliness found its way to escapeโto creep out. And it ruined everything. Vivien was talented in various things but was the best at spoiling her happiness and her happy moments. The worst wasn't the pitiful feeling of breaking her own heart. The worst was the unneeded pain she created by breaking someone else's heart.
Because now she was breaking Regulus' heart too.
Vivien landed beside her bed after she demolished everything that was hers. She looked to the side. It was raining outside the window.
Vivien grasped the pillow lying on the ground. She put it in her face and screamed on top of her lungs. She screamed until her vocal cords hurt like she had ripped them. Her throat burned and Vivien let herself weep out the broken heart she gave herself. It was her fault. When she felt her face turn swollen and her eyes tired, she stood up from the ground and began fixing the mess she had made.
She began by repairing the furniture and placing them back in their previous positions with a few effective spells. By hand, she was picking up her things and putting them away. She sobbed to herself.
Lastly, Vivien made her bed. She picked up the sketch from under it and tried to straighten it out. Poor Eden and Regulusโwrinkled at such young ages! Vivien giggled to herself through tears, laying the sketch on her nightstand to later put it between some books to straighten it out more. She reached under the bed where she noticed another victim of her rage. Regulus' journal. Thankfully the black leather wasn't more touched than before.
Vivien sat down on her heels, biting on her bottom lip. Reluctant, she opened the book jumping between the pages to more recent days, where hers and Regulus' feelings bloomed despite how they both rotted.
Vivien accused Regulus of being rottenโbut so was she. She was the one rotten to the seed. He was the one working on himself to be better but Vivien never tried to be a bigger person. She always waited for Regulus to heal her without putting any effort. Vivien had ruined so many friendships because she was not willing to work on herself. She wasn't willing to open up. She was the reason for most of her friendships to begin falling apart: it was another story about the othersโ faults.
Vivien observed the dates until she found one. May 23rd, 1977โthe day before, hell broke loose. It was the day before the whole school gossiped about Vivien stealing Regulus' chastity thanks to his stupid older brother. Another friend that Vivien used to have. Thankfully, this one she could blame for being shitty.
Vivien chewed on her bottom lip. She didn't know if she should read it. She shouldโRegulus gave her it. He wanted her to read it. She could read itโshe should read it.
"
๐๐ถ๐ ๐ค๐ฅ๐๐ฝ, ๐ฃ๐ซ๐ฉ๐ฉ
๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ธ๐ฝ,
๐ผ'๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐พ๐ป๐พ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐น๐.
๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฝ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐,
๐ถ๐๐น ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐ป๐พ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ป๐พ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐ ๐๐พ๐๐๐๐น,
๐ถ๐๐น ๐ผ'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐น ๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐ถ๐ธ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐พ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ป๐ถ๐ธ๐ถ๐น๐.
๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ถ ๐น๐๐๐,
๐ถ๐๐น ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ธ๐๐๐ถ๐พ๐.
"
If Vi wasn't already in love with Regulus, she would fall in love with him. Fuck that!
Vivien drowned twice as deeply in love with Regulus only by reading how he described her. She would never be able to describe that unfortunate make-out session in the corridor like that. She would never be able to describe Regulus like that. She read that short note and she felt like she was reading about the beautifullest person in the world. And that's how Regulus saw herโas the beautifullest person in the ugly undeserving world. His little sensitive angel. And she let him down so badly.
Vivien shed a tear. Now there were two things she knew she wanted. She wanted to have Regulus in her future and match the description of the girl he described. She mistreated Regulus in the worst way and he treated her like a metaphor. She wanted to be a sensitive, delicate figure made out of porcelain. She wanted to be that beautiful piece of art he saw in her because she saw it in him. He was her muse and he didn't deserve how she repaid him for all the beauty he gave her.
Vivien wanted to be kind.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien knew she was wrong and this is why she didn't fight Pandora, who kicked the dorm door open after Vivien skipped the rest of her classes.
Sybill and Emmeline were the first ones to find her. It was clear Vivien was crying as she laid in bed with a swollen face and smudged mascara. They didn't bother her, getting ready for a Ravenclaw quidditch training that afternoon but Pandora entering the room so aggressively caught an eye. The door closed after her with a loud slam.
"What the fuck, Vivien?!" She scolded, throwing her bag onto her own bed as she stood over Vivienโs. "What the fuck did you do?! I mean why the fuck did you do it?!"
Vivien observed her from the corners of her eyes, lying on her side. She had no interest in fighting with Pandora because she would be in the wrong. Instead she blinked, Pandora standing at her beside, livid. Her blueish eyes were storming Vivien as she had never experienced it before. The waves in her irises were roaring like the madness inside and outside her.
"Huh?!" She was impatient for an answer.
Vivien shrugged.
"Say something, Vivien!" She exploded with a yell, the other two girls looking at their roommates, petrified at such rage from Pandora of all.
Sybill put her hand in the air.
"Um, what happened?" She asked quietly.
Pandora glared at her, furious at Vivien.
"What happened?!" She chuckled bitterly. "I guess Vivien didn't brag about why she's so upset. Let me tell you what happened, Sybill! Vivien broke up with Regulus after 39 hours, telling him all her confession was from her need for his cock as she keeps playing with his feelings for her entertainment!"
If I seem entertained to Pandora, she needs glasses. Vivien wasn't entertained. At best she was playing with her own feelings. Unfortunately, Regulus was hit by ricochet every single time. It was no excuse and Vivien had no interest in excusing herself.
Pandora was furious at Vivien and had a sensible reason for it.
"Fuck!" She stomped with her foot, turning to Vivien. "I defended you time after time when you got with Regulus to always break his heart because you were confused with your feelings but I knew you had them! Dorcas and Barty were right that you two should be kept from each other until you figure out yourself because you will break Regulus' heart for good! And guess what you fucking did, Vivien?! You broke his heart! Because you are a coward! Yes, you have feelings, Vivien, so what?! So does the whole rest of the population but we don't play with feelings that are not ours because we are frightened and indecisive about our own!" Pandora gesticulated over Vivien.
And Vivien observed how her always untouched pearl skin turned red now. It didn't really match her. Tell me something I don't know already. Vivien wanted to say something but she would only make Rora more livid. Whatever she would do, Rora would be livid. She already was.
Vivien was her friend but so was Regulus and Vi unfairly broke his heart. Pandora was loyal to the one, who was the victim of the mistreatment. Vivien didn't just lose Regulusโshe lost her new friends. It was fair.
Perhaps she needed to be alone with herself for some timeโto accept herself. She rarely ever thought about herself because she didn't like what she thought of herself. But she needed to accept herself and love herself first or she would always be unlovable. From an unaccepted child, she was turning into an unlovable adult. But Vivien wanted to be loved badly. She wanted to be Regulus' Vi. She wanted to be Vi, not depending on whether Regulus called her that pet name or not. She wanted to be that beautiful girl he saw in herโto herself as well.
She wanted to be a better person for herself.
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ย ย ย ย ย Evan sneaked after Vi tiptoeing. He had been following her since she left the Great Hall. She seemed up to something secretive, checking over her shoulder to see if someone was following her, doing poor work at it. He knew that after Wednesday lunches, she always attended the block of art classes: Art and Muggle Art. At first she pretended to go in the classroom direction but in one corridor, she turned completely the opposite way.
Vivien was sneaking towards the Hogwarts' journal office. From what she gathered, it was slowly shutting after Flitwick restricted the journal to be approved before getting publicised and he approved none of them. Probably thanks to Florentine after she kept throwing her two knuts in.
Vivien snuck to the sixth floor and into the classroom that the Writing Club used as their office. She knocked on the door, leaning against it to listen. It was quiet inside and she slowly opened the door, glancing to the sides.
She saw Evan hide quickly behind one of the walls, sneaking after her since she left the Great Hall after lunch.
She entered the room smoothly, closing the door with deaf-silent click.
Vivien had a mental list prepared.
Gwynedd
Liverpool
Manchester
Yorkshire Dales National Park
Lake District National Park
Galloway Forest Park
Edinburgh
Glasgow
She needed to cheek if she missed a thing. If something escaped her attention [because it wasn't hard]. She knew the Writing Club collected every Daily Prophet as learning material. She knew it would be quite a task to page through all of them from over the last six months.
The first murder she noticed was on September 17th of the previous year, then on December 7th of the previous year too, and then the mysterious disappearance four months later on March 15th.
Vivien needed to check if there was something similar happening between the events. She laid down her bag on the desk and moved towards the stacks of the old Daily Prophets on one of the front desks. The door opened, when she was walking towards it. She glanced at Evan, who entered the room.
"Hi," She welcomed, trying to steadily take the tall stack into her arms.
"What are you doing, Vi?"
Nonetheless, without a second thought, he came to her and took the stack for her, moving it to the desk, where her school bag lay. He put the stack down.
Once they stood at one of the desks, they glanced at each other and the stack.
"Obviously, I'm trying to set the office on fire. Thanks, by the way. Now that one-" She pointed her finger at another stack and then at the desk across the classroom. "Goes there and that one over there." She fakely instructed Evan and his quirked eyebrows.
"Wouldn't they burn better all together?" He asked and they looked at each other, squinting their eyes suspicious of one another.
"What do you want, Evan?" Vivien tilted her head.
"What do you want, Vi?" He crossed his arms over his chest.
"I don't want anythingโit's you who followed me for the last ten minutes, not the other way around."
"You knew I was following you?"
"Evan, you're like over six feet tallโa blind person would notice you sneak after them." She gestured, showing him how big he was.
"And yet you let me. Why?"
"I need someone to blame for the fire obviously."
Evan rolled his eyes, but Vivien saw how his face softened.
"Are you trying to hurt yourself after you hurt Regulus?"
"Why would I do it over here?"
"Why not?"
"No, I intend to hurt no one else, including myself."
"Why did you intend to hurt Regulus then?" He asked stubbornly.
"Well, perhaps I didn't?"
"But you did."
"But I did."
"Why?" Evan kept squinting his eyes.
Finally Vivien got frustrated and threw her hands into the air.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just stupid and do stupid things."
He sighed watching her hands drop to her sides with a slap.
"That's the issue. You're not, Vi. You are one of the wisest people I know. You would like to be stupid because there would be less pressure if you were. But if you actually were, you wouldn't be even aware you fucked up like you are now."
Vivien looked at Evan and he smiled softly.
"I know you are scared of more than you tell and I know it's not just your own feelings or Regulus but the consequences of it all. Yet, I think it's better for you two to die happy during this war than to live sad for decades. You are breaking your hearts for nothing, Vi. You want Regulus to be happy and the only way for him to live happily is to wake by your side and fall asleep beside your other side."
Vivien's eyes twitched, glancing at Evan. She nodded her head in understanding.
"It was good to talk with you but I have to go now, Vi. Our friends are probably waiting for me. I told them I was going to the bathroom."
"At the Hogsmeade?" Vivien chuckled despite her inner misery.
Evan ignored her comment. Instead he leaned to her height, giving her a big kiss on the forehead before turning away and walking away.
"Keep an eye on Regulus for me, Evan." She asked, even if she didn't have a right.
"I always do, Vi."
Vivien stood there for a moment observing the door even if it already closed after Evan. She never met a person who was wrong about herโwho read her wrong. But grandma! Everyone could read Vivien like an open book. Everyone saw right through her.
Vivien was a coward, afraid of her feelings, avoiding looking into the mirror and at her family photos, always making too little or too much effort, apologising to a beast after it attacked her, not letting herself leave her brutal and cruel world because all she knew was that miserability. She didn't even know herself, when she thought she was just a miserable, insecure, jealous, stubborn, awkward, and obscene girl with nothing more than sexual thoughts.
There was no passion. Just endless sorrow for the girl she could beโinstead of trying to be her.
Vivien was a sad person. Before Nolan even hurt her, she had those thoughts that she would never make it past a certain age, which stirred nothing in her insides. And the closer she was to her eighteenth birthday, the more she was lost in life. She bit on the meat of her cheek before turning to the stack.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien quietly and efficiently paged over two hundred Daily Prophets. She didn't find more suspicious activities in the criminal section but she found a few articles about accidents with animals.
Flocks of birds flying into buildings, fishes jumping out from water onto the land, one homeless dog breaking its own spine, and toads leaving their ponds.
Animals were as horrified as Vivien was.
She knew that sooner or later, Mr. and Mrs. Cadwaller would be found and it wouldn't be a happy moment.
Notes:
โโโโเญจเงโโโโACKNOWLEDGEMENTโโโโเญจเงโโโโ
I'm aware of how flawed Vivien is, and it was the point from the beginning. she was never meant to be perfect. and I want to point out that she is very much an autistic, unmasked person, and I'm not saying this is every autistic person's true colours because like everyone else, we are all very different and have very different personalities. I just wanted to see someone unmasked and flewed because, when I was a child, I wasn't aware of what I was [autistic] and I was unconsciously masking the whole time. I was very anxious and I wanted to be liked by others so what I did was copy my "cooler" friend/s but it wasn't natural for me, so often times I was very awkward and cringy with things I copied, which caused my social anxiety of judgement being astronomical and I had really low self-esteem. and I used to be so lost and tired because no matter how hard I tried, I always didn't fully fit in, which made me feel very lonely. O don't remember what kind of kid I used to be before like my twelveth birthday, expect to be very sad, anxious, and hotheaded because I didn't have my own authetic personality. and around twelve, I actually slowly began unmasking and sometimes I was an awful person because I was trying to find myself and made some bad decisions as every kid does, like from being laughed at, I tried to laugh with or at others, which helped a bit but I was still very much being laughed at by others too. but the point is, it helped me develop to where I am now. I'm fully myselfโI don't mask because at some point through that development, I asked myself, why do I even bother to be liked by people I don't like? now, I care more about if I like myself than if others like me because there will never be a day when everyone will like me. still, sometimes I cringe myself out and make a clown out of myself, but it doesn't make me go insomiac. I don't close my eyes in darkness, and my brain doesn't replay the top ten most pathetic moments of my life. sometimes, I'm honest to the point of others thinking I'm being rude, so what? it's just an opinion. opinions only move a person if you depend on them, and I don't. I live by the rule that if I didn't ask a person about their opinion on today's weather, why would I care about what they say [when no one asks them]โI don't think I'm an extremely clever [just clever] person and that isn't egocentric of me. I say these things not because of my confidence. I say them because i'm very (self-)aware, and I'm aware that I'm stubborn, corward, bad-tempered, annoying, impulsive, chaotic, and awkward. and some of these things are bad for everyone, and I work on them. and some of them are bad for others: too bad they are not for me. for example, my selfishness to always choose myself first. I know it would be easier for others if they could step all over me, but there's no fucking way iI'm going to deal with any disrespect. like I'm truly a quiet person, but if anyone tries to yap, that's on them because I'm not the one. I don't speak until my name or someone else's name isn't dragged. so this is my lesson for anyone struggling with self-image and self-esteem. make sure that you like yourself and not that others like you because you will have to spend the rest of your life with yourself and not others. this is isn't only for AuDHD people but for anyone mentally struggling. you have to accept yourself, forgive yourself for mistakes, and like what you have. and if you dislike something you haveโwork on it.
Chapter 55: practice and praise
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Having no friends wasn't as bad. Might be because Vi still had some friendsโEmmeline and Sybill. Sometimes as she spent her time with them, it felt like she was one ingredient too much in their potion, the tension between the two begging to be kissed out. Vivien never caught them doing so, even with her squinted suspicious eyes.
But mostly, Vivien spent her days alone. It felt like usual because usually Vivien also sneaked around to avoid as many people as possible. Additional five wasn't making such a big difference, even if her brothers tried to bug her on the topic of why she spent more time with them than she had lately.
It wasnโt to guilt herโthey knew she had a hard time this year like they had. Oftentimes they all lived their lives, snickering at each other from across the Great Hall. But for last week, Vivien would check on them one time per hour, if they didn't come to her on their own. She was coming to them on her own.
Her brothers didn't mindโbut they were really nosy why that was. Vivien wasn't mad enough to tell her younger brothers that she lied to Regulus that she wanted his cock and manipulated his feelings because she was horny for himโbut she did tell him she did something bad towards him and said a few words too much instead of communicating correctly.
Ambrosie groaned and Freya smacked him on the shoulder.
"Don't be rude."
"Freya, darling, history likes to repeat itself with Vivien. If you heard it at least once a week every month for the last six months, you would groan too."
ย "It's not true!" Vivien scoffed, her face scowled.Teddy rolled his eyes.
"It's not true." Rosie mockingly repeated under his nose.
Kingsley and Hestia glanced at each other with small smiles caused by the siblings.
"It is." Hestia murmured, even if uncertain whether it was a family feud, writing Transfiguration homework. They sat in the Gryffindor common room around one of the tables at Vivien's request to avoid the library after she figured out her friends would be there.
It was for the best if Regulus and she didn't see each otherโif they saw each other as little outside of the classes that they shared. Her brothers, Freya, Hestia, and Kingsley took advantage of it half of the time, Vivien doing their homework without sweating over it.
Vivi, you can't expect Regulus to read your mind. You have to talk with him about your feelings, all of her brothers would repeat countless times and they all were right. They were Beauchรชnes after all.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't really talk with Pandora since she had shouted at her. Neither she talked with Barty, Dorcas, and Evan. They seemed to be protective and hold a grudge against her for mistreating Regulus. Fairly.
Vivien, in her free time, began reflecting more on how she treated him and herselfโnot avoiding it anymore. She never realised how she focused their relationship on the intimate side. How she sexualized them. That's how her other friendships with boys were before and she didn't figure out it wasn't healthy, especially if she wanted an unconditional connection with Regulus but conditioned him to share his body.
He never said declined, but that didn't mean all he wanted was to be seen as his body.
Vivien had hormones and she didn't want to participate with Regulus in intimate abstinence but she didn't want him to think all he was to her was his body. She loved everything about Regulus. Yes, his posture was as perfectly sculpted as his face. But inside he was as beautiful.
Regulus was kind, gentle, sweet, annoying, arrogant, sarcastic, clever, and braveโlike Vivien wasn't. And sometimes he was even funnyโthat was more than Vi found other boys to be.
Vivien overreacted a lot after she misread the smallest gesture Regulus made, terrified he was about to break her heart. Ironic. Vivien made another mental note about one more thing she needed to work on: security.
Vivien wasn't a stupid person. She was self-aware about how jealous she was because of her lack of self-confidence. She simply didn't bother working on her flaws because Regulus accepted them and loved her as a whole. And that's how it was supposed to be. One had to love another with their flaws and the other should willingly work on their flaws, but Vivien tried to skip that step.
And she became an issue between them. She wasn't turning into a problem. She was already a problem because she wasn't willing to change herself out of habit.
Regulus didn't live in Vivien's head. I mean he does but not like this! Vivien expected him to already know how she felt because she wouldn't tell him. She was stubborn to the point of ruining one of a few precious things in her life.
Vivien had such a big but empty head.
Literally, she had no balls if the topic was her feelings. In fact, Vivien was aware of not being brave but being a coward and that's why she liked that Regulus praised her for being brave whenever she stepped out of her comfort. And again, he is in my head! Vivien didn't even want to scream and shout anymore.
Instead she trusted the rule that the best method to learn things is to put them into practice. She could repeat to herself like a prayer to be secure, to open up, to talk but she couldn't learn to react differently if no one challenged her. She could not treat Regulus better, if he was away. And she couldn't show him she could do better when he was keeping himself away from her.
And Vivien might or might not had been missing Regulus.
They didn't speakโthey didn't look at each other. Well, she did, he didn't.
Easter was a pain in the arse.
Vivien chose to stay at Hogwarts with her brothers. So did Regulus, Pandora, and Evan. Pandora kept ignoring Vi, irritating Vivien that hated being ignored. Still, she couldn't be the one holding the grudge. She let her ignore her whenever they were in the same room because most of the time they weren't. Pandora was spending a lot of time out of the dorm with Regulus and Evan.
Vivien hated that she broke Regulus' heart mercilessly but she didn't want to hate herself for that. It was not her place to forgive herself but she tried to. It was the first step to accept herselfโnot holding onto stupid mistakes.
Did Vivien grow balls suddenly? She checked her panties to make sure she didn't on the morning of April 8th. The second Saturday of the month was the day of another quidditch matchโRegulus' last match that year. But Vivien wouldn't know if he was happy with the quick end of quidditch season for Slytherin or sad that it would already be over.
Probably he doesn't care.
Vivien knew Regulus liked playing quidditch and flying since he was a prisoner in his own home but his life didn't depend on it like for some players. If he could fly that was fine, and if he couldn't it was fine too.
But that match was special. It was long-awaited: Slytherin versus Gryffindor. James Potterโs last match as a quidditch captain or player at all.
Vivien wasn't really welcomed to watch the match with her friends, was she?
Emmeline and Sybill invited her and she declined, having plans.
In the morning, Vivien tied her hair with ribbons, her hands shaky. Vivien barely slept out of nerves, waking every minute. That day, she felt like wearing a skirt. She dressed in tights, a dark brown skirt, a white button-down, a beige vest, a black leather jacket and loafers.
She ate brunch in the kitchen with elves. Around the beginning of the match, she wandered towards the Greenhouse.
"Good morning, Professor." She welcomed Professor Sprout, who was about to exit but kept the door open for her.
"Good morning, Miss Beauchรชne." Sprout smiled, letting her enter.
Vivien had remembered how her father would always bring a bouquet of flowers for Manon from the different places he worked at. It was a form of apology. He had been apologising for how his missions prolonged and that he was coming back later than promised. As if Manon cared.
Vivien walked to one of the flower pots at the end of the classroom. Professor Sprout let her use one of her old pots for personal means like she had before for Regulus' Valentine's Day gift. But this time Vivien left it in the classroom for obvious reasons. Pandora would roll her eyes, thinking that Vivien was about to try and use Regulus again.
Vivien didn't realise her friends talked that much about her and Regulus' relationship behind her back but it was depressing to find out they did and that their words weren't good. Although Vivien understood where Dorcas and Barty were coming thinking Vivien should stay in her line until she didn't figure out herself, it was still saddening. What was worse, she proved them right.
Vivien had seeded a rose bush in an old flowerpot. She got the idea at the last minute and despite her best efforts, the bush hadn't had enough time to bloom. There was a single flower that grew. It was a rather pathetic view. Perhaps Vivien should give up. She was a coward after all. But another thing was that she was very stubborn. She took the flowerpot to one of the desks. Vivien cut the white rose for Black. Ironic.
She did her best to remove the thorns, not wanting to hurt Regulus more than she already had. From her pocket she took out one of the many ribbons she owned. A white one. She made a bow on a rose's stem. She smiled to herself, proud of her work.
All that is left now is just confessing my feelings to Regulus in front of everyone and running away ugly crying after he rejects them. How hard can it be?!, Vivien asked herself, mentally patting herself on the shoulder. The worst was already doneโa pathetic bouquet of one rose for him to try and ask for forgiveness.
Easy.
Vivien kept trying to lie herself into believing in all that.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus focused as much as he could. But the truth was, the wind in his hair was too little for him to forget Vivien that day.
And no matter how stupid it was, his eyes ran on the crowd against his will whenever he flew past another stands. He checked them, Vivien anywhere to be seen. He didn't know why but somehow it disappointed him as much as it would hurt to see her among other students, attending his match casually like she didn't break his heart.
Usually, quidditch would help clear his mind from anything. But not from Vivien. He always played with the thought that she might see him and it would impress her how good he was like it did to other girls. He always played with the thought of impressing her, no matter how pathetic it was.
Regulus wanted Vivien to like him back and it was stronger than him to think about such a silly thing during his matches. But there was no one to impress during that match. Vivien wasn't there. And it was adding to Regulus' disappointment. He felt bitter, his heart sinking in pitious sea, as he passed the last stand and she wasn't there.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien didn't feel like walking all those stairs. She stood at the Quidditch pitch's entrance, hidden. She lurked, observing the game, holding a white rose. Unconsciously, quite a few times, she nearly began picking on its petals and leaves to take out her nerves on it. She was lightheaded, her hands sweating on that innocent flower.
Vivien watched fragments of the chase after the golden snitch Regulus and the Gryffindor seeker had. Perhaps Felicity even commented on it. Vivien wouldn't knowโshe rarely listened to her talking.
When her heart beat so loudly in her ears, she barely heard screams of happiness. One of the seekers caught it. It isn't too late to faint, is it? She felt her head buzz.
Vivien took a step forward and unfortunately saw it was James triumphing with his team's seeker, flying around the pitch, holding the golden snitch high, Gryffindors chanting.
Vivien saw the Slytherin team land on the ground with the rest of the Gryffindor team to exchange handshakes. She watched the scene until her head snapped, hearing someone whistle.
"My brother found a girl to treat him like a princess, didn't he?"
Vivien looked over her shoulder to see Sirius walking down the stairs with her other old friends.
Vivien rolled her eyes, looking away from them.
"Your brother found a girl to treat him like a princess." She mimicked with an annoying voice.
Remus, Peter, and the girls chuckled at her childish behaviour.
Sirius snorted, humoured.
"I suspected a more sublime insult than that. Someone's nervous. What did you do, Viva?"
Sirius laid his arm on Vivien's shoulder. She looked ahead at Regulus and Sirius did the same, others standing behind them.
Vivien sighed, hesitantly looking at older Black. He looked at her and she saw these familiar grey eyes. Sirius' were more energetic and Regulus' were more steady and distanced. She preferred them on Regulus.
"I fell in love with your brother and then broke his heart." Vivien confessed, surprising none.
Sirius poked Vivien with the tip of his nose on hers and she scrunched it, pulling away like she always did whenever he did that. He smirked as some things never changed.
"Easy to fix. Apologise to my brother and he will fall for you with the weak knees you give him."
"I wish it would be that simple." She said, shrugging his arm off her shoulders, looking to the back.
Peter, Lily, and Alice were snacking on some potato crisps. Mary had her arms hooked around Edgarโs and Marleneโs arm. Remus stood with his hands in the packets of his trousers.
They were all smiling warmly.
"If you won't try, you won't find out." Lily winked.
Remus took a few steps ahead to get to Sirius and push Vivien weakly on her back to encourage her.
"Go. Ruin James' momentโhe already has an ego of this pitch-size."
Vivien glanced ahead of herself. She saw the Slytherin team talking. She saw her friends approach Regulus and she saw how they all looked at her for a split second.
Vivien bit her bottom lip. She lowered her head. Ashamed, she wanted to do a spin and run away back to the castle. But like Lupin told her, she needed to steal a showโRegulus deserved that. He wasn't a loser and he shouldn't feel like one.
But as if he had eyes around his head, he marched in the completely opposite direction as soon as Vivien stepped on the grass. Oh, for fucking sake?! Seriously?!
Obviously, Regulus wasn't in the mood to make easy whatever Vivien was trying to do. She glanced at her friends. Only Evan didnโt shrug her off.
Vivien rolled her eyes and rushed, picking up her pace to chase him. It had to be a ridiculous view, students gawking at what the two were doing. Regulus tried to hide away from Vivien and more humiliation, walking towards the changing room.
"Merlin," No, Regulus actually.
He heard Vivien murmur under her nose louder than she probably meant, catching up to him.
"Please, wait."
Truth be told, he was fascinated with what Vivien thought she was doing. What she was trying to achieve. Reluctantly, he stopped on the pitch, turning towards her. She stopped in front of him and his raised brows.
Vivien smiled tightly. In fact, not prepared for it to workโfor him to wait. She glanced nervously to the sides, realising more or less that she was being watched, making a clown of herself.
Regulus stood over her with a broomstick in one of his hands as if to brush her off the moment she began annoying him. Or whip me. Vivien held her hands behind her back until she stupidly stuck the rose out for Black without a word. Regulus raised his eyebrows twice as high, making them disappear in his hair. Vivien was offering him a simple white rose silently.
She finally found her voice, "For you."
Regulus stared between Vivien and her pathetic flower. The longer it lasted, the more her hand clenched on the stem. At that moment, Vivien regretted cutting the thorns off.
"No, thanks." Regulus responded with a sarcastic smirk. "I'm not pathetic enough to drop my pants for a flower."
Vivien blinked. She and Black stared at each other. She nodded, bringing it to her chest. Before, he didn't even need a flower to do that!, even though maliciously she wanted to tell him that, she didn't snicker at how bratty he became just because she felt a little bitter.
"Alright." Vivien licked her lips.
No matter how much she thought it all through, she didn't think it through enough.
"I'm sorry for what I said, Regulus. I could try to come with excuses but honestly there is no reason for what I said to you. And you didn't deserve it." She said mechanically, not even with diplomatic naturality, poorly hiding it was learnt.
"At least, we agree on something. No, there's no excuse for how you treat me." Regulus smiled bitterly.
Vivien nodded her head faintly, her face softening despite how poisonous he tried to be.
"And I know it, Regulus. And I'm so sorry for it."
"Apologies unaccepted. Now you can go to hell or wherever you like, Vivien." Black bowed his head, turned around and began walking away.
Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, and Evan watched the whole show, approached by Vivien's brothers and Ambrosie's girlfriend and friends. They shared bows of heads and returned to watching Vivien panic, taking a few small steps after Regulus who was walking away from her.
Vivienโs head buzzed loudly with anxiety, spinning with thought running to fastly to focus. Her heart raced.
She swallowed thickly to clear her throat.
"I want to go wherever you go, Regulus. Just please, listen to me. I'm sorry that I objectified you, that I always suspected the worst about you, that I expected you to make this work for both of us, that I pushed you away whenever you tried to help me, and that I ignored your feelingsโthat I played with themโand that I broke your heart."
Vivien counted down anything that she could think of as apology-worthy. She spoke hurriedly, trying to fit in as many bad things she did as she could in the shortest time when Regulus could still hear her.
"The fact you are aware of this, doesn't make it better. Only worse, Vivien!" He commented over his shoulder.
"I wasn't aware of it at first. Now I am. And that's why I'm apologising. Because I want to be better to you, Regulus." She argued, standing still in the middle of the pitch, everyone watching her get rejected by Regulus.
"What if it's too late now! And words aren't enough to convince me anymore!" Black was further and further away, Vivien observing him grow smaller and smaller with every step. But his shouts caught her ears perfectly.
Frustrated, her hand closed in the fist. She knocked it on her head, Regulus not listening to anything that went through it.
Her friends and brothers tilted their heads.
"She is panicking, isn't she?" Pandora asked, cringing and glancing to the side at Rosie, Teddy, and Bambi.
"Absolutely." The youngest nodded his head.
But Teddy and Bambi smiled knowingly, glancing at each other.
"Give her a second. She will figure it out." The middle one assured.
Pandora furrowed her eyebrows, looking back at Vivien, knocking on her empty head one last time before letting her head drop with a deaf-silent thud against her thigh.
"This is not fair! Because I've been trying to show you and you've been ignoring it, Regulus! And now when I try to tell you like you always wanted, suddenly words don't matter to you! BUT I LOVE YOU, REGULUS!" She yelled after him, mad.
Black stopped, rooted to the ground at that moment.
"And I've been showing you and you've been ignoring it!" She accused, irritated with him and his ignorance.
Regulus turned around hesitantly. He glanced at Vivien. She stood there clenching the poor rose in her hand. She was furious, a red creeping on her faceโnot out of shyness, out of madness at Regulus for ignoring her. He came closer to her slowly, dropping the broomstick to the ground.
"What did you just say?"
"Are you serious?" Vivien scoffed flustered. "I said I, Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne, love you, Regulus Arcturus Black!" She confessed once again but even more aggressively, her maniacal eyes moving around with her head. She was hissing like a fox signifying an attack.
Regulus stopped in front of her and grasped her chin carefully.
"I hear you. I just want you to repeat it to my face."
Vivien's eyes locked on Regulus. He was smiling.
And she eased, when he was finally listening to her.
"I love you, Regulus." She repeated for him only.
Regulus leaned to her height to capture her in a kiss but Vivien took a step back.
"No, Regulus. You wanted me to talk, so now you have to listen to me first." She smiled softly. "I'm sorry for everything that went wrong. I'm sorry that I hurt you and broke your heart. I'm sorry I wasn't willing to work on myself, but now I want to be better. You make me want to be better. You make me want to be Vi. You are worth every unknown, every fear, every worry, and every broken heart you caused me, Regulus. You are worth everything to me."
Vivien admitted, reaching for Regulus' waist. Her grasp wasn't like usualโgreedy, her nails piercing his flash.
"I'm madly, completely, and eternally in love with you, Regulus."
Black contemplated Vi, her eyes never leaving his. He read from them that she wasn't playing any tricksโRegulus knew Vi wouldn't be capable of them. She wouldn't be brave enough to trick Regulus with such a serious confession she made in front of literally everyone. And there was no point in tricks. She had nothing to gain from them. Vivien tried to act fearless, but he saw the fright in her eyes. They didn't twitch to sides as she didn't want to know what others thought of her but Regulus.
Regulus smiled with his sweet dimples. "Can I kiss you now, Vi?"
Vivien shook her head to his confusion.
"No." She stepped closer to him, standing on her toes. "It's my turn, Regulus."
Before all the hell could break loose, she laid her lips against his.
Vivien tried to kiss Regulus like he had kissed her on the Astronomy Tower. Longingly. She missed him. Vivien had never before experienced longing for someone. She missed Regulus' company. She cared about many people but Regulus was the one she couldn't let go of. She didn't want Regulus to move on from her. He became a part of her life and when he wasn't there, her life was a stranger to her.
She felt his hands cradle her jaw and she pulled away a little before the kiss got too intense for her to be able and willing to do it.
"I will tell you everything, Regulus. I promise I will talkโand you will listen, will you not?"
He stroked her cheek with his thumb.
"I always will. Just talk to me, Vi."
Vivien nodded, landing on her heels. She laid her temple against his shoulder, knotting her arms around him with a pathetic rose still in her hand.
Regulus embraced Vivien tooโtightly as now she was his prisoner and the previous moments were the last of her freedom. She didn't mind. She wanted to be Regulus'.
"You may have won but my brother stole your moment."
Vivien and Regulus rolled their eyes.
"Shut up!"
"Shut up!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Sometimes the key is to keep some remarks to yourself, Mister Black!"
"By now you should learn that there are moments when it's better if you keep your mouth shut, Padfoot."
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ย ย ย ย ย None tried to disturb Vivien and Regulus, when they rushed towards the castle. Until.
Shortly after they entered Regulus' dorm, Evan and Barty returned to it too.
Vivien sat quietly on the edge of Regulus' bed, kicking her feet, as she watched him undress from all his protectors. Evan and Barty sat on the couch, observing the two. Finally Regulus stood up, and so did Vi. He glanced at her and smiled, shaking his head to himself.
Of course Vivien wouldn't leave his side ever again. She was like a dog, that's what Regulus learnt from his experience with Rusty.
Regulus went towards the bathroom and she went after him. He turned in the doorway right into her face.
"Vi, I'm going for a bath. I don't see how your company in the bathroom is necessary unless you want to join me." He informed smugly.
Vivien stood there, surprised with the door closing into her face. Awkwardly, she turned around to the two boys, who snickered at her. She moved onto Regulus' bed, where she laid down. She had so much to tell him and she was impatient to do it all at once.
But Barty and Evan followed them to the dormitory, which rightfully they could and Vivien didn't really have that much of a chance to tell Regulus anything else.
She laid down on her belly, swinging her feet into the air, resting her chin on her hands. She stared at the two, frustrated that they weren't getting the hint. Her nerves were getting better of her and she kicked her toes into the mattress, drilling deeply, growing more and more irritated.
The two observed how Vivien was getting frustrated, aware they weren't welcomed. But Barty was too stubborn to let go. In the end, Evan kicked him in the ankle faintly and they glanced at each other. With a head movement, Evan communicated to Barty to leave after they irritated the witch enough.
"Alright," Barty sighed. He stood up with Evan, looking at Vivien.
"The room is yoursโdon't fuck it up, Vi." He said seriouslyโwarned, threatened.
Evan smiled softly, encouraging her not to screw it either.
"I promise I won't."
They didn't want to leave Regulus alone with Vi because they were afraid she would hurt him again.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was relaxing, his head against the bathtub edge, his eyes closed, when he heard the door creak open and close. He heard Vivien's light steps and he chuckled in disbelief.
Regulus wanted to test Vivien. He didn't mind if she would sit with him in the bathroom but he wanted to punish her a bit, not giving her what she wanted the mostโhaving him at all timesโnot yet.
"Vi, I told you I'm bathing alone unless you're joining me."
Vivien observed Regulus in the bathtub. She bit her bottom lip, studying the lines of his thin chest.
"Exactly. Make some space for me."
Regulus opened one of his eyes. Vivien stood beside the bathtub, her hands tucked behind her back innocently as if she wasn't standing there as some god created her. Bare.
Regulus' other eye opened too. And Vivien kept standing there with everything out. He forgot how bold she was in nature. He could only hope Barty and Evan left before she began undressing, not after.
Vivien raised her brows, Regulus' eyes drawing the lines of her figure, not in any hurry. He was slowly moving in the bathtub, parting his legs to the sides, making space for her between them.
Vivien scrambled into the bathtub and sat down between Regulus' legs resting her back against his torso and her head against his shoulder, her legs curling.
"Don't you want me in here, Regulus?" Vivien asked silently.
"What?" He kept observing her and she looked up at him from his shoulder.
"You are surprised Iโm here. I'm sorryโI thought that's what you were offering." Her stomach did a flip. She knew that everything was not fine between them yet but she didn't think Regulus tried to avoid her.
"It was what I was offering. I simply didn't think you would actually do it."
The corners of Vivien's lips twitched, and Regulus could tell she was sad.
"You didn't want me to actually join you? I can leave if you prefer." She backed away from Regulus' chest to stand up. He embraced her waist, bringing her back where he liked her to beโagainst his chest in his arms.
"Did I say anything like that, Vi? I very much enjoy your presence in this tight bathtub."
Vi..... Regulus after all called Vivien Vi! His Vi.
Regulus felt Vivien soften. She rested against him and he gave her a kiss on the shoulder before pulling her into their previous position.
She smiled. "Regulus?"
"Vi?"
"Is it for real?"
"Is it for you?"
Vivien gazed up at him, nodding her head. "It very much is."
"It was always very real to me." He smiled slightly sadly.
And Vivien felt uneasy, her eyes stinging at the thought of how much she had hurt him.
"I swear it was for me too." She assured. "It's just-"
She hesitated and Regulus observed how her eyes ran away from him to somewhere else.
"It's just that I'm scaredโRegulus, of everyone knowing my feelings for you. Yes, in the way you think too but even more in the way you don't. It's uncomfortable that everyone knows how I feel about you. But it's so scary that they do, when all I want to do is protect you. Because what if I am what puts you in danger? Voldemort wants my powersโso does Dumbledore-"
"Dumbledore?" Regulus frowned firmly. What did he want from Vi?! Regulus didnโt know Vivien and Dumbledore talked or so.
"Yes, he caught me a few weeks ago. And he said he wanted to offer me safety but I know it wasn't for free. And they both want my powers and I don't even have them. They show when they want. I don't control them. And I'm no use but they both want to make use of me and I can't help either of them, nor do I want to. But what if they try to put you at risk as motivation for me to try a little bit harder? And you're in the middle of that mess and you are supposed to be loyal to Voldemort but he knows you're loyal to me. He knows that you love me and I love you and what if he tries to punish one of us for it? Dumbledore knows it too and what if he tries to use it against us for his personal gain? And there are so many other sick people out there. And I'm so scared you will be missing one dayโฆ But around you, I don't know a lot, Regulus-" Vivien gazed up at him again, and he saw her eyes were teary. She was blurring out these things anxiously. "But I do know that I want you to be my future. And you are worth all of this risk for me but I will understand if I'm not for you."
Regulus smiled palely, as scared as she was. But dying for loving Vi was priceless compared to living a whole life without her, making it worthless.
Regulus' life without Vi was meaningless. If he wasn't loving her, he didn't know what he was doing. And if he wasn't her Regulus, he wasn't anything worthy of existence. His eyes turned teary, his head nodding.
"I will be your future, Vi." He promised.
Regulus didn't even know how much time they had but all they desired was to spend it together to the last breath. Vivien reached for Regulus' lips and they kissed clumsily in the impractical position they were in. After they sat together. Regulus was embracing Vivien tighter than before as she thought of all the things she hadn't said before but should.
"I talked with Dumbledore. I was passing his office one afternoon, when he was around and he caught me talking. I told him I loved you. I told Evan that I loved you but first I told him I was in love with you. And I talked with Dorcas, Pandora, and two birds. I admitted I was in love with you. I lied when I said I wanted you to kiss me back in May because I was intrigued. I just wanted you to kiss meโnot out of wonder whether you would be a good kisser or a bad kisser. I just wanted to be kissed by you." Vivien confessed everything she could think of and Regulus let her.
But she was once again beginning to slide down a spiral when she barely had calmed down and collected her thoughts. He poked her cheek with his nose. She glanced at him, but her lips didn't even close.
"Take a breath, Vi." She nodded before she took a deep breath through her nose and let it out of her mouth, gazing at Regulus.
"Would you like to be my boyfriend, Regulus?" She said suddenly.
At those words, Black's heart skippedโstopped. His smile got stuck to his face.
"Only if you would like to be my girlfriend, Vi?"
"I would."
"Then I would too." Vivien smiled the cutest.
She helped Regulus wash himself. She scrubbed his back and helped wash his curls. She refreshed herself too, Regulus occupied with himself. He was the first to get out of the bathtub. When Vi straightened in the bathtub, Regulus was already grasping her waist, picking her up from the bathtub. Her feet touched the wet ground and she stood in front of Regulus, who had a growing erection.
Vivien didn't want to be the one initiating anything intimate. That day, roles were reversed. She talked about her feelings and Regulusโhe was making all the decisions. He made a quick one and walked Vivien to the wall. Her wet back touched the cold tiles, when Regulus pinned her against the wall.
It was something rare. Oftentimes it was Regulus being pinned to the wall. And before they were clothed. They didn't really tease or flirt. Regulus simply glanced at Vivien's for permission.
"Please, do." She wasn't certain what she pleaded for Regulus to do but whatever it was, it couldn't be bad. Nothing with Regulus could be bad.
He leaned closer to her and she laid her hand on the side of his face. She brushed off his waves to the side and stroked his cheek. She felt his hands sneak from her waist higher to her breast, which he fondled with.
Vivien softly parted her lips, linking them with Regulus'. They kissed. But Regulus' mouth wandered off hers and travelled to her jaw. She tilted her head against the wall, his warm breath embracing her neck.
Regulus was kissing down her neck to her collarbone. From her collarbone, his naughty mouth strolled even lower to her tits and aroused nipples. He was kissing her chest and Vivien sucked her belly in. When his lips went lower to her ribsโhe kissed them all until he moved to her tummy. He lowered to his knees for her. In every sense, he was going lower and lower. She had her eyes closed and her lips opened.
Vivien felt Regulus' hands trail down her sides, and she felt one of them warm her bum cheek and the other on her thigh.
Regulus grabbed Vivien's thigh to her surprise. He parted her like one of his books. He did it like it was nothing. He hung her right leg over his shoulder like she once told him Edgar Bones had tried to do back in time.
And Vivien's wild eyes immediately flicked open. She looked down at Regulus on his knee between her legs.
Regulus' mouth separated away from Vivien's tummy. He looked up at her. And as soon as she had a chance, she laid both of her hands on her pubis hiding her private parts, her leg still over his shoulder.
"Regulus?" She asked, fearful whether she even wanted to know the answer.
Regulus stayed between her legs nonchalantly, his cock growing. From that position, it wasn't what could go between her legs.
"Vi?" Regulusโ prominent brows arose.
"What-what are you doing?"
"Returning the favour."
Regulus believed in rewarding good deeds of Vivien to encourage her to stay brave. He wanted to praise her so she would keep working on herself. Nothing else!
"What?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows.
"You promised me I could give you your pleasure on many countless nights."
Vivien hesitated, "It's not night yet?"
"We can pretend it is, if we close the curtains."
"I don't think that's exactly what I meant."
"But that's exactly what I thought."
As if to test Vi, Regulus gave her his big sinless eyes. Vivien would be lying if she said she wasn't throbbing between her opened legs, Regulus kneeling between them tempting her with his eyes, position, and words.
"You don't have to pleasure me just because I pleasured you, Regulus. I don't-"
"You don't want a head?"
Vivien couldn't even force herself to lie. She barely shook her head.
"No?" Regulus looked down, as if he could see through her hands. "You don't want me to suck you, lick you, and kiss you? You don't want to come in my mouth, riding my face, Vi?"
Vivienโs stomach stirred with nerves and hormones.
"I-" Vivien stopped. She didn't want to say no, but she was too insecure to say yes.
Regulus asked Dorcas once if girls didn't like to be pleased like boys did.ย
It's more than about preferences, Regulus. Girls are more self-conscious than boys. You don't wipe your dicks and probably smell worse than shit down there but girls are self-aware about vaginas. Every vagina looks different-
Like every cock looks different, so?
So, dicks are ugly anyway, but in our minds some vaginas are prettier than others. And vaginas are more delicate than your stupid sticks. So not only do we worry if we are nice to look at for our partner but also if we are fine in smell and taste.
He knew Vivien thought her tits were unsymmetrical and uglyโhe couldn't even guess what she thought about her most private parts. She was scared he would be judgy. Regulus knew it was easy for girls to have health problemsโwhy would he judge Vivien for having one?
"Do you have an infection?" He asked straightforwardly.
If she told him yes, he wouldn't point at her down there and make puking noises like a child.
"What?" Vivien asked, her eyes widening, bewildered.
"Do you have an infection?" He repeated.
"No!" She declined, her face reddening. "Do I smell down there like I have one?"
And Regulus knew he could be too straightforward, making Vi mistake his intention as she tried to take her leg off his shoulder.
Vivien was embarrassedโshe smelled down there so badly that Regulus concluded she was infected! Hasnโt the period odour gone away yet?! Regulus grasped her thigh, keeping it where he liked it to lie.
"No." He protested calmly. "You are not, Vi. I didn't ask because you smell. I asked because of your lack of interest in getting a head, when I know you can't know that you don't like it."
"I-I-" Vivien eased a little, trying to gather her thoughts and express them. "It's not that there's no lack of interest."
"No?" Regulus knew thatโhe simply tried to start that conversation somehow.
"No." She answered honestly. "I just-what if you don't like it? Or you don't like me down there like this?"
They were looking at each other and after a solid second until Regulus cracked. He laughed!
Vivien narrowed her eyes at him pointedly like two arrows. He was laughing at her!
"Vi, that's absurd. All I want is for you to squirt in my mouth for the past weeks and after that I will achieve everything in my life."
Regulus had to choose straight answers with Vi. He had her stilled. She had her eyes on him, when he shamelessly kissed her delicately on the inner thigh, the one beside his cheek. It was a premise.
Soon, he hugged his cheek to her thigh. Vivien observed how caringly he treated her. She loosened her hands more.
"Vi, why don't we try it and if we don't like it, we just won't do it again? Hmmm?" He offered.
Vivien wanted to try. If she didn't like it, she would communicate it to Regulus with the simplest safe word at least. That's what he wanted and she knew he would accept itโperhaps a little disappointed, if Vivien wouldn't enjoy it.
"Fine."
Regulus smiled, taking hold of her wrists to uncover everything that Vi tried to hide. He placed her hands on the back of his head.
Vivien observed how Regulus glanced between her down there and up at her face. She was self-conscious about everything, including how stupid she had to look for him from such a perspective, although Regulus didn't show a shadow of amusement at her appearance.
"Vi, if you want more and I give you too little, just push and press. And if I give you too much and you want less, just pull."
Vivien felt more throbbing, excitement going through her body.
Regulus had to speak so sensually with intention. His breath tickled her inner thigh and Vivien felt a spasm going through her body, her pussy demanding attention, thrills in her chest.
Butterflies were flying everywhere.
But Vi felt anxious above it all about anything and everything.
"What if I press too hard? I don't want you to suffocate on-on me..." She bit on her bottom lip.
Regulus didn't seem too concerned about suffocating on Vivien's cunt, a smirk moulding on his thinner lips.
"That would be the only death worth dying if not dying for youโsuffocating on your pussy." He wiggled his eyebrows.
The witch rolled her eyes. "That's not funny."
"Oh, I know. I'm very serious, Vi. You know how much I would brag as a ghost that I suffocated on none other's pussy than Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne's? Fuck. I haven't done a lot of good by now, but that certainly is a great cause to die for."
Regulus had the talent of making Vi feel special like she was one of a kind girl. She was! She was Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne. Other girls were other girlsโthey were all special and different from one another. But this one was special to Regulus.
And Regulus was so intrigued at the thought of the strength Vi thought she would use on him in pleasure that she considered him too weak to pull away from her pussy on his own against her.
Regulus wanted Vivien to treat him like a toy but Vivien wouldn't dare if he didn't ask after she had made him feel objectified. It all started making sense. He wanted her to treat him like her toy-boy in bed but outside of it he wanted to be treated like more than his bodyโthat he was.
"Can I?"
"Yh-ym." She hummed, having the last word.
Vivien couldn't agree with the term eating out. Eating sounded rough like biting and chewing. Regulus' lips embraced her inner thighs to warm and prepare her. At first, his tongue teased her slit, parting her. Then it focused on her clit.
"Shite," Vivien moaned, her head dropping to the back, her eyes closing.
She was digging her fingers in Regulus' head. He got that she wasn't asking for moreโshe wasn't controlling what she was doing out of the pleasure that she experienced for the first time in her life.
Regulus held her arse and Vivien moved her hips to a better angle at which she felt even more. Regulus couldn't read too much from Vivien's face, the back of her head hammered into the wall like her bum would be in a few minutes. And her tits weren't telling him too much but the aroused nipples. He surely wasn't making her regret her decision.
Vivien felt like Regulus was giving her pussy French kisses. Oh, how it felt on her clit! Licking out fitted more the charm Regulus was using on Vivien, sucking her with his naughty mouth. Her muscles loosened after she started feeling comfortable with the position she found herself in. She wasn't that worried if she looked stupid from Regulus' perspective anymore. She looked down at him or more of what was left of him, his mouth full of her cunt. He had these sinless eyes like his lips weren't playing with her clit.
Regulus was confident that she was ready for a new sensation once she met his eyes. He knew she liked rubbing her in circles with his fingers, and he chose to do the same thing with his wet tongue. In circular movements, Regulus teased Vivien and she had this feeling of pleasure that wanted to make her clutch her thighs that were so widely opened.
"Shite," She murmured. "Regulus, like this."
He was stimulating her, feeling her roll her hips into a circle too. And she made more of a decisive movement, pushing his mouth deeper on her cunt.
Vivien felt this desperation of wanting more. She pushed Regulus' mouth inhumanly close to work on her satisfaction. Her hips kept fidgeting as she was moaning.
"You're doing it so well, Regulus. Like this." She was whispering, her voice stuck with her hitched breath, her eyes closed, her face quivering.
Vivien trusted Regulus. It was natural for her. He was so easy to trust for her. She trusted him, when he tried to convince her she tasted like the most delicious sweet that he savoured so patiently even if his own appetite was growing.
Regulus felt Vi's little movements get sloppier, grinding to the sides against his tongue, not rolling her hips anymore. He didn't mind as long as it felt nice to her. And he knew she had to truly feel amazingโone of her hands left the back of his head to touch her own breast. She never played with her chest on her own. If Vi was doing it, Regulus knew she had to feel marvellous to forget her insecurities. He used the rest of the magic he had to pleasure Vivien, speeding up his movements.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Vivien cried out, her hormones boiling her inside out. Literally, she could feel red, burning. It was so hot. Again, Regulus felt Vi's nails dug in his scalp. Vivien was getting fatigued, her legs trembling. Regulus made sure to hold her arse more steadily if Vivien was about to collapse.
"Fuck, I'm coming any-any-fuck,"
Vivien felt that tingling in her belly. Her bladder was full of this desperation to empty, full of pee that was not a pee. But she wasn't ready. She pulled him away by his hair, reaching her orgasm. She released. She squirted.
Regulus observed Vivien slide down against the wall. He delicately removed her leg from his shoulder before she could break her hip. She slipped down to his level in the pool of her orgasm. Regulus would expect a lot from Vi. Something like apologising for squirting on him for example.
But Vivien's eyes sparked gold in amazement as she gazed at him. Regulus amazed Vivien. She seemed to believe he had worked some miracle on her body. Regulus never felt being gazed at in such awe. Vivien definitely liked heads.
Regulus saw how Vivien swallowed and her lips parted. Nothing came from between them. Vivien felt so tired, fulfilled, and in need all at the same time. Her hand on Regulus' head delicately fell down to his neck and she pulled him into a kiss. He deserved more than that kiss. He gave her something unimaginable. Her body still felt all charmed from whatever that enchantment was.
Regulus never felt prouder than with Vivien kissing him in amazement. He might had lost that quidditch match, but he was the winner that day. Other boys could never! She separated from him and he felt her fingers tangle in his waves.
"Take me to the bed, Regulus." She said very willingly, her throat sore already.
Regulus smirked, as did Vi. He stood up, dragging her up with him by the waist.
"Can you walk?"
Vivien shook her head. Regulus snatched her up by her bum and Vivien locked her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. She only let go of him with one hand to open the door. Regulus walked to bed and laid Vi down on his mattress, immediately taking a place over her and between her legs. He opened the drawer of his nightstand very fervourish and it shook with the vase placed on it where the rose from Vivien was. Blindly, Regulus took out the bottle of intimate oil that waited to be used again.
Vi's eyes followed every movement of Regulus. He straightened from her with the bottle of oil in his hands. Vivien sat up too. She took the pipette before he could and she glanced at his dick. It was hard.
Vivien liked how Regulus enjoyed pleasing her despite not being pleased himself at all. She soaked him and put the pipette back. Regulus placed the bottle away.
Vivien softly massaged him up and down. Between her weak legs, she felt a new wetness. She was leaking for Regulus out of desperation. Regulus had to feel similar, already dripping slightly too. He laid his hand on Vivien's belly instructing her to lay down. Once he towered over her, they gazed at each other in their comfort position.
Ironically, it was the one that built that uncomfortable tension between them. Vivien kept her legs folded to the sides, Regulus giving himself a few rubs on his length.
"Can I, Vi?"
Vivien rested her hands on his back, tilting her hips for him. "Yeah,"
Their bodies slowly connected into one, Vi and Regulus not looking away from each other. Instead when Regulus slowly stretched her out, he kissed her. He felt Vivien roll her hips a few times as a sign for him to keep goingโto put it all in and stretch her all out. He did and Vivien moaned against his mouth.
"Am I hurting you?" He whispered.
"No, no." She assured. "I am desiring you."
Regulus smiled, giving her a kiss, as he slowly began thrusting.
He was taking deeper and faster movements every time.
Vivien didn't know what an evil witch possessed her but she put her hand to her mouth and licked her fingers very imaginatively for the teenage boy that Regulus was, looking deeply into his eyes. She buried that hand between their bodies, when Regulus' eyes followed it, not believing Vi for a single second.
Until she shamelessly laid it on herself, rubbing herself in circles. She wanted more, the more she experienced.
Regulus looked back at Vivien in disbelief. That was hot. She was hot, when she played with herself so greedy with him already pleasing them both. Vi was a little, greedy creature.
And she wasn't handling it well nor was trying to act tough. Her lips opened and she sang Regulus' favourite songโher moans. He tensed and took a few more rougher thrusts that made Vivien dig nails into his back. He pushed her a few inches on the mattress. His new strength surprised her. She clenched around him, looking around at her surroundings. She was dangerously close to the headboard.
She looked at him, leaning to her.
"Don't worry, I control the situation." He whispered before trying to kiss her with a smirk on her lips.
Vivien moved her head away, leaving Regulus' lips cold and lonely. She quirked an eyebrow.
"Do you?"
Regulus, as if to challenge her, pounded inside her once more.
"You may want to hold on then." Black chuckled when Vivien whimpered at him.
Regulus had no mercy for her when he knew exactly how to stimulate herโwith provocation of some kind.
Vivien dragged her nails down to his lower back. It was like Regulus knew there was more of not pee on her bladder. Vivien felt hot again.
"Regulus..." She whimpered.
"Feel it, Vi." He whispered, closing her lips in a kiss to make her focus on her pleasure.
She released again and he kept thrusting ignoring how slippery their act became. Vivien couldn't tell if Black was turning clumsy with his movements from how wet it all was or because of how needy he was for his own orgasm as she was so luscious.
"Fuck... Vi, you're so hot," It was his own orgasm as Vivien was so luscious.
She laid her hands on his neck, her hips fidgeting, her spots overstimulated. It was driving her mad. Regulus was driving her mad. She pulled him into a kiss, sharing a few clumsy ones between.
"Fuck me to your last drop, Regulus." She mumbled against his lips.
Regulus listened. Soon, Vivien heard him moan, thrusting it all out. She smiled when she took his chin into her hand, making him focus on her when he was cumming inside her.
"Doll?"
His misty eyes observed her, his brows softening in pleasure.
"Yeah?"
Vi smiled with her dimples showing. "I love you, Regulus."
Vivien broke out of the stupid circle of stupid mistakes she was making.
Regulus grinned at how silly she was. He brushed the tip of his nose against hers.
"And I love you, Vi."
For the first time in his life, Regulus wasn't the one saying it. He was responding to it.
Vivien loved him. On her own, she loved him.
He kissed her. Carefully, he laid down on her for a minute or two and she caressed his back. After he unlinked their bodies and rolled to the side to give Vivien some space, she joined him instead, lying her head on his shoulder. He hugged her closer to his side, pulling one of her legs on top, massaging her thigh. She squeezed him tighter.
Vivien felt the kiss Regulus left on her forehead and they closed their eyes, consumed together.
Chapter 56: boyfriend
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien lay, locked in Regulus' arms. They were napping but it was getting colder after they cooled down and Vi woke, shivering. She wanted to carefully leave Regulus' arms to get the folded blanket from the couch but his arms locked firmer on her. When she tried to use more strength, Regulus woke too.
"What are you doing?"
He asked her, disappointed like he thought she was trying to sneak out of his arms and the dorm.
Vivien recognised the disappointment from his first timeโwhen he thought she was trying to leave him all alone on the Astronomy Tower ground. It hurt Vi to see that doubt on his face. She told him the truthโthat it was too cold for her. Regulus got the blanket for her as she watched him and his body, tapping her fingers on her tummy, not trying to hide hers from Regulus either. He threw the blanket at her.
"Did anyone tell you before that it's rude to stare, Vi?"
Vivien took off the blanket from her face, unfolding it to cover herself.
"I'm not staring. I'm admiring. Did none tell you before you're nice to look at, Regulus?" She glanced at Regulus, lying beside her, sneaking under the blanket too.
He laid his hand on her waist, pulling her closer to him, instead of simply moving closer.
"I'm nice to look at?" He quirked his eyebrow.
She smiled, turning on her side similarly to him.
"Pretty. Beautiful. Spectacular." She mentioned with tender tone, her eyes studying him.
"Yeah?" Regulus smiled, his heart skipping a beat in foolish happiness. He glanced between Vivien's eyes and lips.
"Yeah," She licked her pink full mouth to tempt him and make that move.
Regulus leaned in, capturing Vivien in a kiss. They parted, and he hovered over her side, gazing into her eyes.
"Tell me something." He said.
Vivien pressed her brows like petals between pages.
"Yes?" Anything he would like to know, she would tell him.
Regulus chuckled, wrong for that one.
"No, I mean tell me something as anything you would like."
"Oh," Vivien snorted. After their little laughter died out, she took a second to think and confess, "Ummm, I like that your balls aren't hairy."
Regulus blinked, taking a minute to understand what Vivien said. He suspected her to say something sweet after all.
He sighed, "Vi, you realise I grow hair on my balls, right? I remove them."
Vivien pushed herself away to take a better look at the whole him, bewildered with that information. "What?"
"I use a potion to remove my hair." He explained, concerned that Vi thought he hadn't made it to such a point in puberty.
"And I thought you were the perfect man." She huffed to herself.
He propped himself, taking a better look at her too. "You thought I didn't have hair on my balls? Vi, that's evil of you. I am a man after all."
Vivien raised her brows, figuring she had to hurt Regulus' feelings by questioning his manliness. She hurt his ego. She rolled her eyes at that.
"I never doubted you were going through puberty, doll. I thought that perhaps it was a genetic defectโyou know, like a family thing? I don't knowโI didn't check your dad's or Sirius' balls ever before, so it seemed like an explanation to me."
He leaned closer to Vivien to try and keep it private between them, already in an empty dormitory.
"Did you tell anyone I wasn't growing hair on my balls?"
"No."
"Please, don't do it then."
Even if Vi's explanation was acceptable, Regulus knew it could easily get twisted if she didn't emphasise it, which Vi probably wouldn't.
And Vi giggled, lying a hand on Regulus' chest.
"Oh, so now you want to be a big dangerous man with hair on your balls. I'm sorry but when I shaved my pussy hair, I didn't even consider you knew about hair removal."
"I don't. This is why I don't go and brag about using a potion to remove that hair. It disgusted me, so I began removing them as soon as they started growing." Regulus told.
"Fine." Vivien nodded. "But don't you think that's ironic that you don't like this hair but are ashamed of not having it?"
"I'm not ashamed of not having it. I'm ashamed of people thinking that I'm a late bloomer."
"Why do you care what people would think?"
"I care that my hot girlfriend thinks I'm a late bloomer."
"But I told you I never did."
"But everyone else would twist it out because that's funnier and humiliating."
"It is."
"So please, keep my hairless balls between us two only."
Vivien smiled, raising to reach Regulus.
"Fine, fine." She said with a smile, soon giving her big dangerous man a kiss.
He eased and they both laid down together.
"Tell me something else." Regulus suggested, wanting something better than that.
Vivien pouted her lips, wondering about something more sweet to tell him.
"Iiiii-" She prolonged playfully. "-am in love with you."
Regulus smiled. He already knew that but surprisingly it wasn't the end of the sentence.
"And have been ever since I was thirteen." Vivien blushed, feeling her neck warm.
Regulus kept gazing at her for a sign she was lying to sweeten him. She didn't try to hide her face or mask her flush. He squinted his eyes.
"You're not lying?"
She shook her head. "Yh-ym."
"But I thought..." That Vi hated him?
"I wanted everyone to think that I didn't like you. I was abashed about liking anyone. After the first Potions, when I was cursing you out, your brother, James, Pete, and Remi caught up to me. And they said you weren't rude because I was a girl but you were nice because I was the girl. No boy ever before was nice to me because I was a girl. And I didn't know how to react, so I tried to be mean to you, hoping you would leave me alone. But the meaner I was, the nicer you were. Then I was told you didn't like me because I was a girl but because I was the girl I am. It was embarrassing to be liked in that way, when everyone teased me. At the same time, you made my heart skip a beat when you would offer me help during Potions. When you would lean to my ear to whisper jokes and make me laugh. And when you would compliment me. I liked that you liked me even when it was embarrassing at the same time."
Vivienโs nose crinkled cutely, when she was looking into Regulus' flickering metallic eyes, reflecting silver.
Vivien movedโonto Regulus. She sat up on him, straddling him without breaking eye-contactโshe wanted to make it the most direct.
"I wanted you to like me because over all your arrogance and smartassing, I thought you were endearing. And I liked you back. At thirteen when I heard a rumour that you liked the way I wore my hair, I would only wear them like this." She confessed, wearing her hair exactly in her classical way even after pretty intense love-making.
"At fourteen when I heard you liked my eyes, I would put mascara on my eyelashes so they would stand out even more. At fifteen when I heard you liked my legs, I began wearing miniskirts, so you could see all of them. And when you began dating Pandora I would cry in my dormitory, when it was empty. When you held her hand, I would move my bed a few inches away from hers. And when you two would look into each other's eyes and smile, my heart would ache. And when we kissed at Astronomy Tower, I thought I was the happiest girl in the world, even after I lost half of my familyโhormones are a funny thing. And when you touched my body and moaned my name for the first time, I could swear I have never been more in need of help because I knew there was no going back and you would break my heart. And you did it again and again. And then I broke yours. It wasn't revengeโnot intentionallyโbut it happened and I have never hated myself as much as I do for doing so." She continued, when her eyes stung sourly.
Regulus observed her, softening because of his sweet girl. She looked away, hiding how the tears were threatening to escape her eyes and how her face flushed.
"And now I'm not coming to you crying. I mean I am crying but it's happiness." She whispered, swallowing thickly. "I promise it is even if you tell me you don't forgive me or need more time to think about all of this, Regulus. I'm happy to be right here with you right now and I want you to know I am willing to work on myself if that's what needs to be done to fix us."
She pointed her finger between them two.
"And I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it and acknowledge it. I think I assumed you were enough for both of us to make it work with all of your efforts. I tried to show you that I love you but it could be too simple. I know it was and you deserve more than these simple effortsโthat minimum. And I'm sorry for what I said to you a few weeks ago. When we were walked on by everyone, kissing in my common room, I was too happy to think. And in the morning I thought we would tell our friends about us but you weren't there and they told me about us. And it was all overwhelmingโthem, all those fears, worries, and concerns. But it was nothing in comparison to how lonely it was to not have you by my side these last few weeks."
Regulus observed the witch sniffing. He smiled faintly and arose underneath her.
"Vi, do you think we would be right here and right now all bare if I hadn't forgiven you or needed more time to do it? You think I would use you like that? I didn't consider your discomfort with how quickly things evolved from one into another but it's like what you saidโI was too happy to think as well. And it stayed with me. It's not that you need to workโwe both do and we need to communicate. You need to communicate with me and once you do, there is nothing we cannot handle. If you prefer to keep things more private, we canโif you prefer to keep them more public, we canโbut we do this together. If you were uncomfortable with our friends, all you had to do was tell them but you didn't and instead did more harm than good. You need to communicate, Vi."
Vivien felt her stomach twist pitifullyโbecause it was true, Vivien did more harm than good.
Regulus' hand landed on her neck. She felt his trace the center of it. She nodded her head in understanding.
"I love you, Regulus." She repeated time after time, hopeful it could repair his broken heart.
Regulus couldn't get enough of it. It made him warm.
"And I love you, Vi. I'm sorry for how many times I broke your heart." Regulus couldn't count even how much he did. And he didn't even know it at the time because Vivien wouldn't communicate.
She smiled with happy tears flowing down her cheeks.
"Embrace me, please."
That's all she needed from Regulus to make it all good enoughโto fix it a bit but perfectly enough.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus did what Regulus liked the mostโtreated Vi like porcelain. He used some spell for no babies on her tummy at first terrifying her with a wand pointed at her body. She swore it had nothing to do with the dirt of a human that Nolan used be.
Regulus learnt the contraception spellโfor them to not burden Vivien with the things they did. He took her into a shower, where he washed her. With a sponge, he treated her skin delicately to not rip it.
Vivien helped Regulus shower once more too.
Regulus got Vivien out of the bathtub. In towels, they wandered into the dormitory, where they dressed in their clothes. Nearly.
Before Vivien reached her miniskirt, Regulus grasped her waist, taking her onto his bed. He sat down on the edge and she sat on top of him, kissing slowly and deeply.
Vivien didn't even know when they began making out. Regulus was marking her neck with wet kisses. She felt all the love bites he took of it, and she tangled her fingers into his curls.
The couple was frozen in time until the dorm door creaked open and their friends entered in disregard.
Regulus parted from Vi's neck, raising his eyebrows at her.
"Vi, you didn't block the door?"
She blushed, freshly broken out of the trance.
"I didn't really think we would be doing the things that we've done." She murmured under her nose to keep it private, feeling shy.
Vivien didn't suspect Regulus to accept her back as simply as he did or to desire her as strongly as he did. Blocking the door didn't even cross my mind!
"And it's them not knocking on the door." She accused, looking at the careless four that sat down on the sofa and armchairs. "Regulus could be naked." She pointed, staring at the four over her shoulder.
Vivien knew they did very awarely.
Just because Regulus had forgiven Vi for breaking his heart, it didn't mean Pandora, Dorcas, and Barty forgave her for breaking his heart.
Barty looked at her up and down, smiling sarcastically. "Or you could wear his hands as your miniskirt, for example?"
Vivien was reminded that she in fact was wearing Regulus' hands as her miniskirt. They warmed her bum through the pathetic material of her panties and tights.
"Barty," Regulus stared at him meaningfully to reprimand him, making him scoff at how easy he was.
Pandora and Dorcas shared a very telling look about how they weren't satisfied either.
Vivien felt unease at the tension in the dormitory, silence dragging, air thickening. Only Evan appeared friendly and fine with her, waiting for her to make some significant appropriate move, not immediately in an offensive mood.
Vivien lowered her head in shame, standing up from Regulus, reaching the miniskirt to slip it on. Her mad friends didn't look. Regulus observed Vi. He could tell she was ashamed and he was worried she would act out foolishly in fear again, saying something they would all regret again.
Vivien came closer to them all, stopping in front of the coffee table. She dug her nails into her hands, tightening them in fists. It wasn't out of fury but out of fear. Everyoneโbut Evanโavoided looking at her to ignore her. She felt her stomach twist in unease.
She opened her mouth, taking deep breaths in and out with them, composing a tame tone.
"The person that I owe my biggest apologies to will hear them every day for the rest of their life if that's what Regulus needs. You? I can only apologise for disappointingโonly this onceโbecause it will never happen again. I will never ever disappoint you. What I did was a low blow and I know it and I'm sorry you all had to see Regulus so hurt because of me. This is why I want to prove myself to him for being a bad friend. I asked him for a chance to be a better girlfriend." Vivien said hesitantly, trying to behave brave, when her eyes flicked between everyone.
Her friends glanced at her, uncertain if they heard her correct and whether or not to react.
Regulus approached her and hugged her from behind, lying his head on her shoulder, nodding it like a confirmation for their friends, his arms locking on her waist. Vi eased. There was no safer place than Regulus' arms.
She spoke up further but her look ran away, all the eyes on her were too much.
"And I get it if you need more time to see this change to believe in it but I hope you will come along to me one day and I will get your blessing to be with Regulus because that's all I want in my life: Regulus. And I want you to know that I have no intention to keep this relationship secret but there will be days when I will be less comfortable being all open about my affection for Regulusโit won't mean I'm embarrassed by him or by having feelings for him. Or that I love him less because I wouldn't dare to. I love him with my whole heart and I know he deserves more than this. This relationship isn't just sexual fantasy or whatever you all think. I mean Regulus is amazing in bed and what he did today-"
Vivien tried to emphasise too much on everything, beginning to spiral on explaining literally everything to make it all clear.
"Vi," Regulus stopped her as she felt him squeeze her waist gently to calm her down and her eagerness in clarifying everything. Literally everything.
"Sorry." She giggled nervously at her oversharing details. "I mean I think me and Regulus will continue our intimate life but that's not why I want him. He's more than his body to me and he always was. I am embarrassed that I had such a poor way of showing it. I love Regulus for his soul and his mind, not because of his body. He's the beautifullest person to me in more ways than an eye can see." Vivien admitted tenderly but unsurely, uncertain if she did good.
Evan smiled more, Vi glanced at him for some confirmation. She glanced at the rest of her friends. Their faรงades were solid, when they looked at her and Regulus.
Vivien was sincereโthey could tell through their bitterness. And Regulus seemed in one piece as soon as he held her. How could they stay mad at Vivien when they could see it was her trying, all for Regulus only.
Pandora was the first. She came closer to the couple. Vivien furrowed her eyebrows and Regulus let go of her before Rora threw herself on her to hug her. She slowly responded to it.
"Promise me you won't break his heart like that ever again, Vi. Just promise me." She heard.
Regulus watched how the two girls cuddled. It was good to see his best friend and girlfriend reunited together.
"I promise I will never break Regulus' heart."
Later on, Vivien got a warning from Dorcas similar to the one Regulus got a few months beforeโEvan whispered into Vi's ear, "Break his heart, Vi, and I will give him necklaces made out of your own."
Vivien hugged her anyway and Cas accepted it joyfully, squeezing her, squealing in her ear.
Barty didn't say much, his eyes telling more than enoughโhe would keep his eyes on Vi. Truth be told, she appreciated it, needing someone to hold her accountable since she acted first and thought second. She needed someone to call her out for doing something stupid if she did, which she hoped she wouldn't. She hugged him from front, and Evan hugged him from the back. Barty rolled his eyes but embraced Vivien too.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien never before attended a Slytherin party. There was not one organised since she had been spending her time with Regulusโonly the one they spent in her bed instead. From what Regulus told her, Slytherins were on thin ice for the last year and they decided to keep it quiet for a few months but losing a match seemed for them like a valid reason to drink.
Music thudded and alcohol poured when Vi left with Regulus. She didn't feel dressed appropriately but Regulus assured her she was, wearing his jumper. Yet a lot of girls looked better than her, wearing tight dresses that showed everything that was good and hid everything that was bad.
Vivien felt Regulus grasp her hand. She looked up at him to see if he was looking at those girls too.
Vi was all he was looking at.
He leaned to her ear, "You may think they look beautiful, Vi, but you are beautiful."
Vivien smiled as did Regulus. He straightened.
It was Regulus' turn to be a barman. With Vi, he walked towards the table with different alcohols, drinks, and snacks. He stole a bottle of fire whiskey and four glasses for shots.
Vivien stood beside him to pick something for herself. Regulus glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes to control what she was choosing. She took a hold of a pink soda. She glanced at him back, her eyebrows furrowing. She saw he had only collected four glasses. She stood on her toes to reach his ear.
"You don't have to because I don't want to or shouldn't either." She said laconically, when they knew she meant drinking alcohol.
"I don't feel like anything strong anyway."
"What about something weaker?"
"What do you mean?"
They spoke into each other's ears back and forth.
"A beer?" Vivien reached for one of the Irish beers. She didn't really know anything about beersโshe never drank one unless it was someone else's. And it was an exception. It happened once or twice and she regretted it. It's disgusting!, but Regulus could like it.
"Are you sure?"
Vivien nodded her head. If Regulus felt like having a party, she didn't mind. They wandered to their friends, who found a place on the sofa in one corner of the room.
They kept a free armchair, obviously for Regulus and Vi to share.
Vivien felt jealous looks she was getting from Alecto, when she was the one to sit in Regulus' laps. Her legs were dangling over the armrest, Regulus holding her in his arms. They devoured each other, starving, cravingโnot intimatelyโaffecionately.
Their friends were drinking the fire whiskey like it was water, talking, laughing, and ignoring the two, who were in their own world.
Vivien savoured Regulus and the jealousy she was causing to Alecto and other girls. They all would like to have the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black for themselves. To have Regulus attention in their tight dresses, but all he looked at was Vi in his loose jumper and the ribbon bows in her hair.
She felt his hand under her jumper on her lower back, caressing her skin, treating it like porcelain. If touched too strongly, Vi would crack and shatter into pieces. She wasn't as sensitive as Regulus thought of her but she liked the delicacy he treated her with.
And in certain cases, she was sensitive.
The music, the voicesโall the noises were getting to Vivien's head. She wanted to shatter and crack her skull because of it. She didn't want to goโRegulus would go with her. She wanted him to attend the party with his friends.
Regulus had no interest in the partyโVi was all that interested him. And all he could think of was how he wished they would go back to his bed.
Vivien felt bad for stopping Regulus from partying.
So when tipsy Pandora and Dorcas offered her a dance, stretching their arms out for her to take, she accepted the gesture. They brought her to her feet. Vivien smiled palely, which none noticed in a dim light that only added to her urges to smash her head into the wall to release some of the pain.
They dragged Vivien into the centre of the partyโon some table, where constantly teenagers tried to dance. Some succeeded, others did not. It was pushed in the centre of what happened to be a dance floor that evening.
Vivien glanced over her shoulder at the boys, leaving them. She saw Regulus rest his elbows on his knees to see what his girl-friends would convince Vi to do, while Barty and Evan took the shots hurriedly. And the three disappeared behind other Slytherins.
Vivien looked ahead and saw Cassie and Rora strolling towards the table. Vivien didn't really want to do anything like thatโdancingโbut maybe if Regulus saw she was having fun, he would have fun too.
"Move," Dorcas pushed other teenagers, walking towards the table fast and energised.
"I will fucking show you how to dance." She commented through music, which Vivien heard.
Pandora grinned at Vi over her shoulder, reaching the table.
Dorcas climbed on it as one song was ending and another was about to start soon. Pandora followed. Vivien looked to the sides. Slytherins began chanting, Beauchรชne!, Beauchรชne, Beauchรชne!, through the music.
In her miniskirt, Vivien carefully climbed on the table too. She didn't have to look for Regulus. With Evan and Barty, he pushed through the crowd after hearing Vivien's last name being chanted. Vivien didn't like where she was. The music was too loud, the air was too thick, and the people were too people.
She was glancing around, disoriented on what to do, a new song starting. The girls began dancing. Cassie smiled, pulling Vivien between her and Aurora. Vivien looked at her but Pandora laid her hands on her waist motioning her hips to move in harmony with theirs.
"We're here with you, Vi. One word and we will go." She spoke up into her ear.
"One dance and Regulus is gonna take you to the room." Dorcas spoke too.
Oh. They wouldn't mind if I and Regulus went back to his dormitory?, they didnโt.
The two were too hooked on each other. Vivien wasn't certain if they were teasing her, provoking her, or encouraging her. She slowly began swinging her hips on her own into the rhythm of the music. Her hands flow in the air with the melody, sometimes drawing the lines of her own figure.
Pandora and Dorcas smirked at each other over Vi's shoulder, dancing with her. But they were wrong. Before even the song was finished, Regulus was already leaning on the edge of the table.
"I think someone wants a private dance from you." Dorcas joked and Pandora let go of Vi's waist.
Vivien slowly fell to her knees on the edge of the table, leaving the girls to finish their dance.
"Do you want to go somewhere private, Vi?" Regulus was smiling sweetly with his dimples, pretending to be sinless, having the most hellish intentions. She smirked, leaning closer to him.
"What do you take me for? A whore?"
"Mine?"
They said at the same time.
Vi liked what she heard. Regulus saw her eyes spark gold in the dim light. He tilted his head, waiting for her. Vivien clicked her tongue, smirking smugly.
"Dormitory?"
"Dormitory." He nodded.
Regulus straightened and Vivien climbed down with his help. When she was about to look up, his lips already caught hers. Her eyes widened only to close a second later. Some students whistled, approving of Regulus' hands on Vivien's waist, the couple backing away from the crowd, kissing. When they were away from all the eyes, Regulus carelessly grasped Vivien's arse and she hopped up, knotting her legs around his hips. She felt his hands squeeze her, rummaging and digging under her skirt in search of a treasure. Regulus stumbled twice in the dormitory hallway until they reached the correct door. Vivien shoved it open and Regulus kicked it shut.
Inside, he laid her down on his bed. And without even taking his jumper off of her, he buried his head under it, kissing Vivien's breasts.
"Regulus, do you want to..." Vivien mumbled out unclearly, melting under his warm lips, her eyes closing in pleasure at her tits being properly taken care of. She felt Regulus pull his head out, looking at her.
"I want to kiss every inch of you, Vi. Is it alright with you?" Vivien opened her eyes. She nodded her head softly. If he was about to kiss every inch of her like that, it was more than alright with her.
Regulus was a great kisser. He had the abilitiesโhe knew how to move his lips and how to use his tongue. It gave Vivien shivers, even if he was between her legs still all in clothes.
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ย ย ย ย ย This time Regulus made sure that after he undressed Vi to dress her back before they would fall asleep for good. He helped her to dress in pyjamas and he changed into one too.
Regulus silenced out the sounds from the common room. In each other's hold, they fell asleep effectively quick.
And they woke early. They saw Barty and Evan cuddling in their clothes from last night. Pandora and Cassie were nowhere to be seen, which meant they slept at Cassie's.
Vivien and Regulus just enjoyed the silence and each other's closeness, resting face-to-face on their sides. Vivien was caressing Regulus' cheek, gazing into his eyes that traced her face like it was a map.
"Regulus?" She whispered.
"Hmmm?" He hummed.
"Did it ever bother you that I was more experienced? That there were others before you?"
Before Regulus answered, he grasped Vi's hand into his and kissed it gently, smiling softly.
"The only thing that bothered me was how inexperienced you were, the more we got closer." He murmured against her smaller hand.
"What do you mean?" Vivien furrowed her eyebrows.
"It's like you say, Vi. You were experiencedโyou knew how to treat another person but you didn't really know how to be treated. It bothered me that no one showed you how you deserve to be treated. It bothered me how mistreated you were by the others."
Vivien smiled sadly. It was stupid how life worked. If she perhaps hinted at her feelings sooner, the time she wasted on being mistreated could be saved. And the harm she experienced could never happen. If she was a bit braver and did a single thing differently.
Regulus felt Vivien's bitterness at her own thoughts. She smiled tightly. He brought her to him in an embrace. Now all Vivien wanted to do was to be hugged in Regulusโ arms.
"You're my biggest comfort, Regulus Arcturus Black." Vivien gazed up at him from his chest.
"And you are my greatest purpose, Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne." Regulus gazed down at her in his chest.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Beauchรชne, our saviour once again."
"You saved us from embarrassment yesterday, Vi."
"She is kind of a reason we lostโI didn't think I had anyone to impress." Regulus responded to Dorcas' and Rosalie's remarks.
He was resting with Vivien on the couch in the common room. She was cuddling into his side, having her head on his shoulder.
Barty and Evan sat on the other half of the couch. Dorcas, typically for her, squeezed between them, causing Vivien to cuddle into Regulus even tighter.
Pandora sat down in the armchair and Rosalie sat down in one that was closer to Regulus and Vivien.ย
Regulus felt Vivien's body tense at Rosalie Parkinson's presence. Regulus stopped himself from squinting his eyes at Vivien to avoid any suspicions.
"Whatever. At least she ruined James' moment of victory." Dorcas brushed it off with a wave of a hand.
It was still silent after the party that took place, most of the Slytherins hidden in their dens.
Regulus and Vi wanted to enjoy that blissful, Evan-snoring-free silence in the common room. But Evan and Barty joined them after some time, not getting the hint that the two wanted to enjoy each other and their quality time.ย
After some time, the two escaped to the dormitory that they ran away from in the first place. Vivien threw herself onto Regulus' mattress, face down. He quietly closed the door after himself and came closer to his bed to sit down on the edge.
"You don't like Rosalie?" He asked, causing Vi to turn onto her cheek and look at him.
It wasn't that Vi didn't like Rosalie. She hated her younger sister, Florentine, but Rosalie was fine. She was a classmate, an acquaintanceโa distant one.
"She's okay. It's that she isn't the normal part." Vivien mumbled, sloppily sitting up on her heels.
"What do you mean?" Regulusโ head titled, his eyebrows tangling together.
"I mean, it was differentโmessy. She wasn't right?" Vivien tried to elaborate.
Regulusโ head rolled to the other side.
"She wasn't right?" He repeated, slightly stupified. "Right about what?"
"Not like that. She wasn't right in the setting." Vivien gesticulated. "In our group, it's us sixโnot seven. With her, it was different than usual. Usual is friends. She isn't one."
"But you like her?" Regulus didnโt question further, realising it was one of Vivienโs quirks.
"I do."
"So it's not about that one time, when she saw me naked under the shower?"
Vivien's eye twitched.
Regulus cringed.
She forgot and he reminded her.
"No." She said shortly and dryly, staring at Regulus sharply.
Vivien didn't want to be jealous but there was someone else, who saw Regulus in a vulnerable bare state. Her jaw clenched and teeth gritted the tightest they could to stop Vivien from reacting and making the scene of irrational jealousy in a bad taste.
It was an accident! Regulus didn't want Rosalie to see him naked! Unl-Shut up!
They sat in silence until Regulus was saved by little claws scraping on the door to be let in. He dragged himself to the door lazily and opened it for a not-so-little black ball of fur anymore.
Vivien didn't see Clรฉmentine for some time. It seemed that she took dad's side in the conflict between him and mom.
Clรฉmentine wandered to Regulus' bed with him and they hopped together on it to approach Vivien. Clรฉmentine laid down between the two curling into a ball.
"She's growing up so fast." Vivien whispered to Regulus, smiling at the small thing.
"She is." He nodded.
Vivien was carefully rubbing Clรฉmentineโs forehead with a finger, when she sighed lightly.
Regulus and she faced each other on their sides.
"I don't know how to say it for it to make sense, Regulus. I had this preference. Rosalie wasn't part of us. Her presence simply caused my brain to crawl. I like her but I wasn't prepared for her to sit with us out of nowhere."
What happened wasn't either right or logical, but it caused some inner frustration to her brain.
Regulus understood that it was one of these things that only Vivien and someone with similar troubles to hers would understand.
Chapter 57: something's wrong
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย "I don't think it's working. Now she only hates both of us!" Pandora threw her hands into the air hysterically, pacing back and forth in Regulus' and Evan's dormitory while they, Cas, and Barty, all watched her. She had told them the afternoon she hadโwhat she walked on in her dormitory after classes.
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ย ย ย ย ย For young Vivien, it started way sooner than just after classes that day. It started at the beginning of the year, on the Hogwarts Express, as she heard the rumours that stupid arseclown began dating Pandora Malfoy. The two had been breaking her heart without mercy since then. When they looked at each other from across the classroom, in the way Regulus used to look at Vivien. She used to look back at him to roll her eyes or scoff [just to keep the pretences] but Pandora would beam or wink playfully at him. They would smile at each other. He would show her his cute dimples and once Vivien saw Pandora touch one of them! They would hold hands. And they probably snogged secretly in empty classrooms like Vivien remembered older students do until her year was of older students!
She hated that Regulus did this to another girl! Deep down, she wanted him to kiss her after she had that dream once [or twice only]! She always thought he would do it to her one day when they would be in their sixth or seventh year. Instead she snogged with Nolan for her first time already by that time, and Regulus kept snogging with Pandora somewhere out there secretly where none saw them!
After all that time, Black got bored of Vivien. And he wanted to snog with his best friend. It was fairโPandora was prettier than Vivien, nicer than Vivien, and probably even wiser than Vivien. It's fair! But it didn't mean Vivien wasn't crying in her pillow, when her dormitory was empty or in the shower in the evening, when her dormitory wasn't empty.
So after the first week of crying in the bathroom, Vivien had to do something to separate herself from Pandora who had her bed beside hers. From five feet, the distance between their beds grew to five feet and one inch. After another week, it grew to five feet and three inches, and it kept growing inch-by-inch until that afternoon.
Pandora, Emmeline, and Sybill had noticed how unsymmetrical it was becoming. The lack of symmetry irritated Vivien but not more than having her heart broken.
That day, the final straw snapped.
Vivien stared at Regulus and Pandora from the corner of her eyes and they kept whispering to each other during Defence against Dark Arts at their desks in front of hers and Zahara's. She saw Regulus kiss Pandora's hand. And Vivien's quill broke as the glasses of her professor did. She got scolded for almost blinding the lady and two other glass-wearing students. She got detention and house points taken away.
Vivien stomped back to the dormitory after classes. She had to do what needed to be done!
She put both of her nightstands on one side of her bed and pushed the bed away, even though it was not lined with windows at all in an awful and ugly manner. And when she heard Sybill and Emmeline on the stairs, walking down towards their dormitory, she panicked. She had too little time to fix it. They would see her do it.
Young Vivien ran into the bathroom and a few moments later she heard the two girls enter the dormitory. She heard nothing. They fell silent. It was all silent. Perhaps it was silent because they looked for Vivien? Not because they noticed how weirdly my bed and nightstands standโฆ
Vivien looked around the bathroom. She didn't really know what to do and she sat down on the toilet with her chin in her hand, her elbow painfully in her knee.
She tapped her footโfor a few minutes. After some time, she heard the dorm door open once more. Even more silence. Vivien never heard such a loud silence. She decided to count down to sixty-six and leave the bathroom. After sixty-six, Vivien stood, checked herself in the mirror, and plastered a fake smile on her face.
Nonchalantly, she approached the door, opened them, and left the bathroom. Her three dormmates immediately looked at Vivien with their raised eyebrows as she sat down on her bed, crossing her legs.
"Something's wrong?" She asked, gazing between them innocently.
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ย ย ย ย ย "She's losing her mind out of her hatred for you, Regulus!" Pandora emphasised, causing the rest to laugh.
Chapter 58: first love
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย Oh, how beautiful a life is!, Regulus was making Vi hate it less. The spring was blooming and so was the youthful first love of the couple. Everyone thought that they couldn't be surprised by the love and affection the two shared publicly, privately, and everywhere-ly.
Holding hands, small kisses, big kisses, embraces, glazing all over with gentle gazes, and sugarcoating with sweet words.
After the first week of Vivien and Regulus officially being together, everyone was proved wrong. Vivien was very clingy and very needy for Regulus' attention.
"I didn't know you were capable of such a human touch, sister." Teddy watched the couple, tilting his head to the sides like an intrigued animal.
Truly, Vivien wasn't very touchy until it came to Regulus [and her brothers sometimes]. She was giving him more than she had. She had taken Regulus' hands into hers and hugged herself from behind since he hadn't done it on his own. And Regulus had no other choice but to chuckle and hug her securely with his arms wrapping around her waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Vivien smiled, self-satisfied with the turn of events.
"I'm sorry for my ignorance, my Highness." Regulus wasn't growing overwhelmed at all! It was only more exciting to finally hold the girl of his dreams in his arms safely after she had confessed he was the boy of her dreams.
"Couples," Edgar made a puke noise, gagging out the word, passing the couple with Dermot and his other friends, who laughed at his childish behaviour.
"Not a serial dater talking." Pandora commented after him, melodically being right.
"Ouch," Edgar turned around for a group to see how he laid his hand on his heart dramatically.
Before he turned away, he winked at Vivien and the witch felt Black's hands lock around her even tighter.
Vi knew enough to tell Regulus' tightening hold was an unconscious sign of his jealousy. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and his arms loosened. It confused Vi that after all that, Regulus was jealous of other boysโespecially Edgar. He was only a friendโand with Bones, she meant it literally.
Vivien, Regulus, and Pandora waited for Evan, Barty, and Dorcas. Meadowes was running late and the two boys went to look for her. Then Teddy approached them, while he was waiting for Declanโhis own friend.
She smiled at Regulus, and he gave her a view of his own dimples. "I wonder, Regulus,"
"Hmmm?"
"You know that queen is called a Majesty and princess a Highness, right?"
"Yes, and?" He raised his eyebrows.
"So it's a paradox for you to call me both. I cannot be both. I could be a princess, who stepped up in the role of a queen but then it makes me a queen, not an ex-princess and a queen." Vivien elaborated.
Regulus chuckled. Of course Vivien would correct him with historical facts.
"I call you a Majesty because you are my queen but I don't call you a Highness because you are my princess, Vi."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "No?"
"No." He shook his head. "I call you Highness because you are my Highnessโyou make me highโvery, very high-"
"Clearly." Teddy muttered under his nose.
Pandora slapped him on the shoulder but the pair ignored himโmaybe even didn't hear him.
"I guess it could give off that other meaning." Black finished.
"Oh,"
Vivien grinned widely and they kissed once more causing Teddy to groan.
"For Merlin sake!"
"Theodore!" Pandora scolded him.
"Theodore!" Declan mocked, approaching Teddy, who quickly grabbed him and turned around to avoid moody Pandora.
"Go, go. Don't stop walking."
Vivien laughed, ending the kiss with Regulus. "Hi Declan,"
The boy waved blindly over his shoulder. "Hi Vivi,"
Pandora stood there with her arms folded over her chest, squinting her eyes at Declan's back.
"Did that little shite just taunt me?"
"Surely, he did." Regulus confirmed.
Pandora scoffed. They stood a minute or two in silence and Pandora scoffed to herself as Vivien and Regulus watched her. She was in a bitter mood.
"What are you two looking at?!" She scolded again, frustrated and flustered.
"Did you get your period?" Dorcas asked provokingly, walking with Barty and Evan eventually.
But Vivien's, Regulus', and Pandora's eyes focused on Marlene, who certainly only accidentally happened to be walking right after the three of them. Even though she barely left the castle, she was already flushed on her cheek, her lips slightly swollen.
"Hi," She welcomed the group, passing past.
Vivien, Regulus, and Pandora looked to Dorcas, who glanced after McKinnon. When she faced them, she was biting on her full bottom lip to mask her smile. The witch squinted her eyes to see any pink or red on Dorcas' dark skin that was saving her from the final judgement.
"Ummm-umm-um, you're not smooth at all." Barty looked Cas up and down.
"As if you were."
Vivien looked to Regulus for an explanation. He smiled tightly, letting go of her smaller figure to grasp her smaller hand.
After that telling situation, Vivien stayed silent. She wasn't madโor she was because there was a secret her friends formed and kept away from her. Vivien wasn't trying to ruin the atmosphere but she felt disappointed.
"Vi?" Smiling Dorcas initiated the small conversation, slowing down to Vivien and Regulus, who were walking last towards Hogsmeade.
"Yeah?" Vivien looked at her gently.
"I've been wanting to ask you something."
"Yeah?" She repeated.
Dorcas studied her. Vivien saw her examining her hairโthe one that was always unmoved by any weather or any circumstancesโwhich was most of the time tied by the two ribbons in a half-up half-down style.
"What do you use for your hair?"
Vivien blinked, her face falling by friction.
"What?"
"What product do you use for your hair to stay in place so perfectly? Because I've seen you in very various situations and they always sit so perfectly in place. No frizziness, no matter what temperature-"
"The position you and Regulus do causes your hair." Barty piped in to lighten the day.
"Hilarious." Regulus rolled his eyes. Pandora slapped Barty on the chest.
"Shut up," Evan whispered. Not the right joke for the silent mood Vivien was in!
The witch shrugged her shoulders, hurt that they didn't tell her. Dorcas and Marlene were now... What are they doing? Dating? Just hooking up? Or being together? Did I really miss so much during these few weeks of separation?
"Sleekeazy's Extremely Strong Hair Gel." She sighed.
"The one from Uncle Fleamont?"
"Exactly the one from Uncle Fleamont." She murmured. "The name doesn't lie, and I like that cute dedication on the bottles."
To my son James and his messy hair, Fleamont Potter produced another successful hair product a few years before, dedicating it to teenage Jamesโyounger Potter was known for ruffling his messy hair as a child and that habit stayed with him for the longest time.
Vivien pulled Regulus by his hand and left Dorcas behind. They passed Pandora, Evan, and Barty and took the lead of their trip. If they don't want to talk with me, I don't want to talk to them either!
Regulus only smiled apologetically at their friends over his shoulders. He told them Vivien would take personally the fact they kept from her a secret if she found out about Dorcas and Marlene before Dorcas found the right words to tell her about them! And Vivien was upset.
Their walk was sunny but a bit cool, Vivien causing a breeze. In Hogsmeade, Pandora separated from the group to buy a few ingredients she needed for her next experimentโBarty and Evan joined her, leaving Dorcas with Regulus and Vivien.
Vivien ignored Meadowes as they all walked towards the Three Broomsticks. It was early and for most students it was the last stop during their Hogsmeade trip but Vivien, Regulus, and apparently Dorcas had no other plans for their trip. They walked into a pub, a few villagers glancing at them.
"Hi Rosmerta," Vivien let go of Regulus' hand, coming closer to the bar, leaning against it.
The storm of blond waves turned around, and Vi was faced with the light beam of Madame Rosmerta.
"Hello Vivien,"
Regulus gripped Dorcasโ jacket sleeve and they walked towards the bigger table under one of a few windows.
"Please don't say, I told you so." She said.
"I actually wanted to say that you might listen to me more." He commented, once they were taking off their jackets.
"Oh, piss off, Black." Dorcas whined under her nose.
Regulus and she sat in silence in a staring contest until Vi came closer to them, happy after the chit-chat she had with Madame Rosmerta only to remember she wasn't happy. And he was sad again. Regulus glanced at her.
"Do you need a hand with drinks?" He asked, standing up to help her with her own jacket.
She nodded her head. "Yh-ym,"
When Regulus and Vivien turned around towards the bar, Dorcas stopped her.
"Vi, could we talk?"ย
Vivien glanced at her, then at Regulus. He pointed his head at Dorcas as if to tell Vi to talk with her. She sighed, hesitantly turning and sitting down in her chair across from Dorcas.
Dorcas smiled tightly. She leaned on the table towards Vivien, trying to take her hands into hers but as soon as Vi realised what she was trying to do, she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Vi, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Dorcas started with a huff. "But we've been off for some time during which I began meeting Marlene like this. And since you made up with Regulus and we are now on again, I honestly didn't know how to tell you because I know how much Marlene hurt you in the past and I know she did fucked up things and somehow I still liked her. I know this is shitty of me but she is working on herself and she regrets the last year and a half. She regrets everything that happened between you two."
Vivien furrowed her eyebrows angrily. She leaned towards Dorcas too.
"I'm not mad you are seeing Marlene. I'm mad you didn't tell me you are seeing Marlene. I'm not mad that of all the girls it's Marlene. I know how good she can be of a person and I know she wasn't herself for the last year and a half. And I know she's sorry, but I just don't feel ready to forgive her because whoever it was for the last months, they wore her face after all and I cannot look at her face and not think of some of the things that person said and did to me. But I want her to get better and be happy again. I want you to be happy," Vivien assured softening. "And if you two make each other happy, then let it be. I'm just upset you wanted to keep it a secret from me."
"I swear I didn't. I was-" Dorcas hesitated.
"Ashamed?"
"Yeah." She agreed quietly, looking down at her hands. "I know Marlene is doing better now but I know the person that came out of her did a lot of bad and I am ashamed I liked her when she was still that person. When she has hurt other people just because she was hurt."
Vivien and Dorcas gazed into each other's eyes. Vivien uncrossed her arms and took Dorcas' hands into hers delicately.
"I have no right to judge you for it. I fell in love with Regulus fucking Black. Of course, it matters who they used to be but I think it matters more who they are and who they try to be. And they try to be better. Regulus is better. He treats me the kindest I ever have been, Cassie. And I'm sure if you and Marlene are serious about each other, she treats you just the same because she wants to be a better person for you and she doesn't want you to feel ashamed for the fact that you ever liked her."
They smiled at each other, gently gazing one at another.
"No more silent treatment?" Evan asked with a hopeful smile, approaching Vivien and Dorcas, Barty, Pandora, and Regulus after him.
He was holding his and Pandora's butterbeers, Pandora having her hands full of her shopping. Barty held his and Cassie's butterbeers, and Regulus held his and Vi'sโthe extremely sweet that made others' faces twist and gave them the immediate sweet teeth.
They all sat down around the table and Vivien closed the distance between her and Regulus' chairs as soon as he was beside her. She laid down her head on his shoulder after he spread out in his seat. He hugged her from the side.
Oh, how Vivien liked that Regulus wasn't embarrassed about being affectionate towards her in public. The couple was still working on how much public and private they wanted to be but it was stronger for Vivien to yearn for being embraced by Regulus and for Regulus to embrace Vi.
After a second round of butterbeer, Vivien excused herself from the group and sneaked around the small crowd that would only grow bigger later. When she returned to the table, she was holding a small cake in her two hands. Behind her, Madame Rosmerta walked gracefully with two cakes, significantly smoother after years of working as a barwoman and waitress.
Vivien placed her cake and sat down. Madame Rosmerta placed the other two, glancing at Dorcas, Barty, and Evan with a smile.
"Congratulations to the three of you," She laid a hand on Evan's shoulder and squeezed it gently before she walked away without another word.
Everyone looked at Vivien and Regulus with a smile on his lips. He didnโt seem stupified. Vi blushed shy with all the attention.
"I know I'm late because it's been weeks since and it's not a party but I didn't feel like one. But,โ Vivien pushed a chocolate cake towards Evan. "Happy virginity-loss, pet."ย
Evan exploded with a careless laughter, their friends stirring with theirs until it all spilled.
"Are you serious, Vi?"
"Yes," Vivien nodded her head, grinning, proud of herself for making her friends laugh.
"Okay, but why do I and Barty get a cake?" Dorcas asked. "Sure, Barty was there but I swear I wasn't."
"I know but you kind of lost your virginity at some point in the past and I felt bad asking Rosmerta for one when it was more for one person to lose their virginity."
"Wait, wait, wait... What did you tell her the cake was? Did you tell her it was for losing virginity?" Barty folded his hands behind his head, his eyebrows raising.
"Regulus advised me not to obviously. He told me to write that the three of you got into your first serious relationships and I wanted to surprise you and celebrate it for good luck, which isn't a lie after allโeven if they aren't labelled yet."
"Why didn't Regulus get a cake for losing his virginity?" Pandora tittered.
"I can't do everything. I already took itโI can't celebrate it like it was hard." Vivien remarked. "This creamy one's for you, Cas," She pointed at white cake and then at the black. She cringed at Barty. "And this coffee one's for you."
Vivien didn't like coffee and when Regulus told her it was Barty's favourite flavour of cake, she claimed it was a war crime against cakes.
"You know that in the traditional sense I'm not not-a-virgin. There wasn't really a penetration and breaking hymen."
"None in the right mind would let you in heaven for chastity, Cas." Barty quirked an eyebrow.
"Fair."
"I can't believe I thought you two were virgins and none corrected me." Evan shook his head in disbelief, looking pointedly between Barty and Cassie.
"Your innocence was blissful for them, Evan. Especially to Barty." Pandora patted him on the shoulder.
Dorcas, Barty, Evan, and Pandora bantered over the cakes, when Madame Rosmerta brought dessert plates, small spoons, and a knife. Regulus stood up, giving everyone a dessert plate and a small spoon.
And Vivien was still stuck at what Dorcas said in the middle of that controlled chaos.
"What do you mean there was no penetration?" She asked her out of nowhere, tilting her head.
"You know, Vi. Like girls aren't the most known for having penises." Dorcas giggled with a toothy grin.
"But what about fingers?"
"No."
Vivien wondered out loud, "So only heads?"
"Yes."
"I'm jealous." She nodded her head in understanding.
Regulus snorted over Evan's cake that he was cutting into six pieces. It caused his friends to squint their eyes at him. Barty looked at Regulus, then at Vivien, then at Regulus, and then at Vivien.
"He gave you a head, didn't he?" He pointed his finger at fucking Black.
Vivien nodded her head dramatically, her face changing into a theatrical one of mercifulness, her eyes closing like she was reliving it all again.
"Guilty. And it was an effective way to assure the position of my boyfriend because I can't stop thinking about it now."
Teenagers laughed, their happiness and humour spilling like a lava.
"I'm not joking. He saw too much and tasted too much. And I can't stop thinking about how nicely he tasted this too much. Now he will never be free ever again."
"Is it a threat?" Regulus raised his brows, putting on everyone's plates a piece of cake.
Vivien glanced at him.
"It's a warning."
"I don't mind as long as you will be a good girl, Vi."
"Heads or staying with me?"
"Both."
Vivien nodded her head dramatically again. "I will be."
Her friends cracked but so she did this time.
"I can't believe I really thought we all used to be virgins. Screw all of you." Too late, Evan. Too late.
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ย ย ย ย ย On the second weekend of Regulus becoming Vi's boyfriend and Vi becoming Regulus' girlfriend, he surprised her with an early breakfast. It was a warm Sunday and he got her out of his bed and out of the castle. It was very early but they got ready quietly and went out for a walk. It was a beautiful sunrise outside in warm pink and orange colours like a grapefruit soda.
Once Vivien brought Regulus behind some tree into the shadow, where they made out with her sticky fingers under his jumper and his sticky lips on her neck even if there were only them two outside with no one else to see.
That wasn't really what Regulus had in mind but it's not like he wanted to stop as soon as they started kissing. With a heavy heart, he had to be stronger than that. He parted from Vivien's neck, his hands staying, warming her bum.
Vivien smiled, aware of how they were misbehaving outside the bedroom. She knew how she was tempting Regulus outside of his bed.
Regulus let go of her. He picked up the basket that he dropped on the ground and the blanket that he handed to Vi, giving her something to occupy her sticky smaller hands. She hugged it to her chest and they wandered off from the crime scene before someone could catch them, redhanded or redmouthed. They entered the Quidditch pitch and Vivien followed Regulus on it. He placed down the basket and took the blanket from Vi, unfolding it. He laid down on it, his arms under his head. He smirked.
"Why are you still standing, Vi? Join me." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Vivien landed on her knees, scrambling on all fours towards Regulus and onto him. She laid down on top of him. They closed their eyes, taking a few minutes to rest in silence to gather more energy. It was too early for Vivien's liking but she was with Regulus!
It was quiet and the only sounds were those of nature. Birds were chirping and frogs were chortling. Grass rustled whenever the wind blew.
Vivien opened her eyes to peek around. For a second she had this feeling of something crawling under her jacket and jumper as she thought about all the bugs living in grass after the snow was gone and it was growing tall. A few youthful anemones blooming near were embraced by bees.
And a butterfly passed past Vivien's face, causing her to back away, scared out. It flew beside the two teenagers. After Vivien spasmed, she rolled to the side of the blanket. Regulus rubbed his face, opening his eyes. He saw Vivien sitting. He did the same, dragging the basket onto the blanket, which he didn't even open nervously. He wanted to have a nice spring breakfast early in the morningโonly him and Vi.
But now it was obvious that Vi was still sleepy, yawning widely.
Vivien put the hand over her mouth. A moment later, she let it fall.
"Sorry." She smiled sweetly at Regulus, his face falling slightly.
"Vi, if you're tired, we can return to bed. I'm sorry. I should've asked first if an early breakfast was an option." Vivien raised her eyebrows.
"What are you talking about, Regulus? I'm here with my bedโdid you forget? We can sleep and nap any minute, any hourโbut we rarely have a chance like thisโus two, fresh air, and good foodโat least that's what I hope for."
"I have croissants." Regulus offered with a warming smile.
Her eyebrows softened, the witch melting down, hearing the word croissants.
"I love you."
He chuckled, "And I love you too."
Regulus knew Vi too well and she didn't even know how. She wasn't sure how he knew what she liked to eat for breakfast. Hogwarts never offered what she loved. And Regulus has French cullers!
Regulus might or might not have interrogated her brothers about what Vivien loved to eat for breakfast. And he found out that Vivien liked her breakfasts sweet and light. Just like she was. Regulus tried a little of everything, while Vi was savouring two French cullers and a hot tea. Quickly, they were gone, her hands were empty but sticky. She reached for a small bowl of raspberries. She fed them to Regulus, eating some herself. The couple was smiling at each other foolishly. After breakfast, they packed what was left back into a basket.
"Vi, are you scared of heights?" Regulus glanced at her.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, interested where that question came from.
"Because I know you don't really fly like you don't swim either but you never said why. Is it because you're scared?"
"I used to be scared of heights and of water as a child but in places like Hogwarts, I didn't have a choice than to get over it, did I? It's not that I'm still scared. I never really tried after a few times, when my grandpa took me on a Hippogriff ride that I always spent with my face against his back or when he tried to teach me with dad how to use a broomstick once."
Regulus listened, nodding. When Vivien fell silent, he continued,
"I wonder if you would like to try now?"
"Fly?"
"With me of course." Regulus smirked.
Vivien smiled sweetly like a silly teenage girl that she was.
"You want to show off."
"Or I want you to hug me." Vivien threw herself on him, cuddling with him.
"Fine, maybe I want to show off too if you let me."
"I want you to show off to me."
"Do you know that you were one of the two reasons I tried for the Quidditch team in the first place back in third year? The other one was that I knew I was goodโthe first one was that Pandora told me you said you like Quidditch players." Regulus claimed.
Vivien cracked with her cheek pressed into his chest.
"You know why I said that? Because during Potions, I heard Evan talking to you about trying for the team." She mumbled out.
They laughed at how hopeless they were for each other. They were a match made in hell.
A few minutes later, Vivien sat behind Regulus with her arms tightly knotted around his torso. They slowly arose into the air on his broom.
"Good thing I didn't put on a miniskirt today." She commented to herself, grateful.
"What if I told you that if you wore one of your short skirts, I planned to please you instead? My plans depended on the clothes you chose to wear. If you put a skirt on, we could be down there right in the middle of the pitch on the blanket." Regulus pointed his head in that direction. "Me with my mouth between your long legs."
"You're lying." The witch accused, flustered at the thought.
"You don't think I would like to let everyone know how mad I drive you?"
Vivien was resting her chin on his shoulder when they glanced at each other, her voice quietened into a whisper against his ear.
"I don't think you would like another boy or another girl to hear how nicely I can moan, when treated tenderly, Regulus."
"Or perhaps I would like to let them hear how nicely I can treat you because you let me and only me, Vi."
Regulus murmured back but Vivien heard him perfectly. She throbbed against the broom and her lips rolled into her mouth. She looked away from him. It's like she saidโshe and Regulus weren't practising abstinence but for the last two weeks they never crossed a line further than a make-out.
Vivien didn't want to let Regulus down and initiate something unneeded if he didn't feel like it. She waited for him to initiate intimacy. He wasn't and she was patient. But his words teased her too well and she didn't want to continue that conversation. Instead she focused on the fly. Regulus felt Vivien take a deep breath of fresh air into her lungs, finally above the stands of the quidditch pitch.
"Is it alright if we move, Vi?" Vivien looked around. Everything had gotten so small already. Their blanket was like one-eighth of the factual size.
No.
Vi was wrong. Not everything got smaller. The castle still stood tall and big. She decided that she had adapted to the height she was at.
"It's alright."
The air felt different at such a height. It felt fresher. And it was so peaceful. Once an osprey flew past the two teenagers with a fish in its beak.
Their fly was peaceful until Regulus assumed he could speed up even more.
The motion got too fast and quickly he had to find themselves back onto the ground.
Vivien immediately ghosted from the broomstick. Before Regulus could even register what was happening, the breakfast left her stomach. Regulus got off the broomstick and looked around. He glanced back at her, and she was still vomiting her insides out. He came closer to her, grasping her hair to the back, placing a hand on her back.
Vivien felt his hand under her jumper on his lower back, softly massaging her. Soon, her stomach was emptied and Vivien straightened. Regulus helped her to walk towards the dressing room and toilets.
"I'm sorry," Vivien said silently, coming closer to the sink. Regulus turned the faucet on and she washed her mouth, clearing her throat to wash away the distaste from her mouth.
"It's fine. I should've asked if you were fine with speeding up to begin with." He assured her, not wishing for her to get embarrassed at the unfortunate incident.
Vivien smiled faintly, straightening and turning the faucet off.
"I used to get sick from motion when I was a kid. On trains, I could spend the whole trip in the bathroom with mama and Poe, not to mention carriage flies. But now I thought it had gone away. I mean sometimes I still get lightheaded, if Hogwarts Express fastens to the maximum but I never puke like this anymore."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus were walking through the dungeons back to his dormitory after their early eventful picnic. It wasn't awkwardly silent but for some reason Vivien began talking faster than thinking anyway. She was with Regulus at the stairs, seeing the wall, where the door to the Slytherin common room could appear at any moment. It was ahead of them. But they weren't walking fast enough.
"Can I tell you something, Regulus?"
He gazed at Vi smiling softly. They held each other's hands and he squeezed hers gently.
"Always."
"I don't remember in which corridor it happened."
Before Vivien could even rethink if she wanted to talk about it, she spoke up. Regulus paused, so did Vivien after him. She looked at him looking at her.
"What do you mean?" His brows knitted together, worried.
"I don't remember which corridor Nolan hurt me in. Where did we meet? If it was still in the basement in the dungeons or near the Great Hall? I don't really remember what happened that evening but the worst. I think that if it wasnโt for my brothers and friends, this might be the only other reason why I didn't-"
Vivien bit herself on the tongue, getting hold of her words before she said something she would regret as she realised what had tried to escape her.
"Why didn't you do what, Vi?" Regulus was concerned, his stomach twisting. He wanted Vivien to open up to him once she felt comfortable with it but this confession came out of nowhere. Did something happen to trigger her to think about that of all the things?
"I don't know." Vivien said silently, looking around, abashed.
"You don't know what you wanted to say?" Regulus' grey eyes pierced through layers of her flesh to look inside of herโinto her soul. She sucked her belly in nervously.
"I wanted to say that's why I didn't like to jump off the Astronomy Tower or something but I don't know why I wanted to say it." She whispered, avoiding Regulus' eyes.
He took a step closer to her, closing the gap between them to keep the conversation private.
"Vi, do you want to hurt yourself?"
"Not anymore."
He placed the basket down and cupped her face. She licked her dry lips, gazing into Regulus' eyes.
"But you wanted to?"
"After what he did to me, I hoped he would leave me alone in that corridor, where I would slowly bleed out until I was ready to go. And sometimes, I used to regret that he didn't." She whispered.
Regulus delicately caressed her cheek with his thumb.
"But you don't anymore?"
Vivien melted in his hands. She shook her head with her teary eyes. "No."
They stood in silence and Vivien kneaded the blanket in her hands.
Regulus was worried.
"He's gone for what it's worth." He offered poorly, not knowing what else to tell her, his tone tender. "Do you often think about what happened to you, Vi?"
"But I'm not gone, Regulus. And sometimes, I do." She answered truthfully. "I wonder if it doesn't disgust you to kiss the lips that another boy used like that? Doesn't it disgust you to touch the dirty body that other boys touched so brutally?"
Her emptied stomach did a flip. If only she knew that Regulus' stomach did the same at such disgusting false words she spoke about herself!
"Doesn't it disgust you to hold the hands that have done so many disgusting things, Vi? If you are dirty after a boy touched you, perhaps you were never the issue? Perhaps boys should wash their hands better than they do? And use them better than they do?"
Vivien took a minute to think. She nodded her head slightly. Regulus was right. Why was she a dirty person after a boy touched her? Perhaps it was boys who were dirty then?
And she had to ask now, when she never knew how to start the topic, knowing Regulus would never start it. She smiled sadly, gazing into his eyes kindly.
"Do you think about what happened to you sometimes too, Regulus?"
Regulus took a moment to think before he nodded, "I do think sometimes about what I did. And I mean both, Vi."
"Do you still have these thoughts to hurt yourself?" Vivien kept kneading the blanket.
"No but I had them a lot. You knowโmy life has always felt meaningless. I was born to only make someone else give birth to Black. That's pretty meaningless, if you ask me. My dreams weren't mine because I wasn't the person who could achieve them. Dream career? The noble house of Black doesn't work. I swear I don't even know where we have money from, when in generations not a single Black moved a finger. All we do is make babies and party with people who have sticks shoved in their arses. Dream girl? Unreachable. I was meant to fuck meaninglessly aa pure-blood girl for a baby and then I could put my cock into anyone as long as they were pure-blood. Until my dream turned into a nightmare. And all this sickness found a way to corrupt the only good thing I have."
He sighed heavily, his eyes twitching.
"And I have to accept that you will watch me go down but I swear I wanted to be better than this, Vi. I just wasn't given the chance."
Regulus whispered. Vivien let the blanket drop to the ground and got under their feet. She ignored it and hugged Regulus after she saw his eyes glassy in a matter of seconds. She saw her own vision become blurry. She held him tightly like he was her lifeline.
"It's not your fault. It was never your fault, my sweetest."
Regulus hugged her as tightly, securing and protecting her from the ugly undeserving world.
"But it was. We both know that for the Unforgivable Curse to work, one has to mean it. I meant what I did, Vi. I wanted this couple to be gone when they weren't shutting up... When they were begging me for life but I wanted to live as much as they did because there were only two optionsโus three or them two. I wished for them two to go, then to go with them for nothing." He said, his voice strainedโstrangled with the lump in his throat, the turmoil of emotions buzzing in his head.
"And I know, Regulus. No, this boy doesn't disgust me when he is the only one to treat me with kindness."
Vivien tried her best.
Chapter 59: little idyll full of love [making!]
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien's and Regulus' little idyll reached its peak. When the couple attempted to communicate with each other, everything was heavenly perfect. Vivien and Regulus spent most of their time alone because it wasn't appropriate to do the things that Vi and Regulus had done in the companion of even their closest most trusted friends.
Vivien's patience turned fruitful.
One late morning during History of Magic class, it happened. Regulus laid a hand on her thigh. At first, she didn't want to get overexcited, telling herself he didn't mean it intimately. It was accidental.
Then he gently squeezed her thigh. Vivien glanced at Regulus. Like nothing happened, he was resting his chin in his other hand, listening to Binns talk about the Salem Witch Trials.
Vivien didn't know if she was supposed to clutch her thighs tighter or open them wider for Regulus. She wanted the desperate throbbing to stopโto satisfy it. She had touched herself twice since the last time Regulus touched her intimately. She wasn't able to compete with himโtouching herself on her own was fine. No butterflies in her chest, no gasping, no sucking belly in, and no moaning.
And once, Regulus nearly caught her! He was taking a long shower and Vi touched herself in his bed without him! She blocked the door of the dorm. As she was finished, so was he. How surprised Regulus and Evan were after he had to unblock the door for Rosier. Vivien claimed she didn't know how they got blocked but Regulus saw the little pinkish cheeks she had when he left the bathroom after his shower. He noticed how she needed to use the toilet immediately after he left her alone in his bed.
Regulus could tell Vivien was torturing herself but he let her to check how long she would last. He didn't mind her initiating intimacyโhe even liked it. He simply didn't like when it was all she initiated. Their relationship was about them. If he felt the same urge, he would respond to her provocations.
Regulus was aware of Vivien's needs she had from hormonesโbut he didn't want her to need him for his body. He wanted her to want him for the whole him. It was a process to communicate it. Regulus realised his mistake, bitter about being needed only for his body. Yet, he never really tried to tell Vivien how awfully he felt with it. Again, he was horrified of losing her for good if he said something since the rest of him wasn't as good as his body.
But Vivien emphasised to him that she simply thought boys liked being complimented on their bodies because that's all they did to herโtalk about her body! She thought they liked it like she was supposed to. Regulus figured that his sweet Vi projected on him what she was taught. She objectified him like she was because she assumed boys liked it since they did it to herโฆ
It was beautiful to finally understand each other. Vivien was conditioned to the one thing in her friendships with most boys and she conditioned Regulus to the same, seeing a boy in him.
Vivien never wanted Regulus to feel objectified like she felt! She thought he liked it! And she felt bad, realising he rarely ever had... So when he laid that hand on her thigh, she didn't know what to think. She didn't want to make the wrong move. Regulus could be doing whatever he was doing on accident.
Vivien didn't want him to think she was shameless, trying to initiate such a thing in a classroom full of teenagers. She looked around the room, sitting with him at the last desk in a row. They and their friends all sat at the row under a wall. None really looked at her or Regulus. Some students laid on their desks, listening to Binns. A few were taking notes. Someone was reading their own lecture and someone else was sketching on the loose piece of parchment.
Half of the class seemed to be asleep or on the edge of falling asleep.
Vi closed her legs. And Regulus sighed in response, dropping in his chair. He glanced between Vi and her closed legs.
"Wrong," He whispered, moving his hand higher. He dug his fingers between her thighs, gripping one of them.
Vivien leaned towards his ear and he felt her thighs stay tenseโstill not strictly clenched that he could not fit his single finger between them.
"What are you doing, Regulus?"
Regulus waited through Vi's bleeding days. He knew she was in a lot of pain during those days of the month and it wasn't what neither of them would want. But when she was in the mood for making-out again, so was he. And he wanted more than to sneak his hands under her clothes. He wanted to take them off of her.
He leaned towards her ear.
"Right now I am imagining how I will play on your body during a lunch break, when everyone leaves this classroom." He murmured, his lips stroking the edge of her ear, causing her small and silly goosebumps.
Oh. He meant how he was touching her.
Vivien smiled flirtatiously, gazing at him, fluttering her eyelashes.
"You really wish for me to wait this long?"
They weren't even in the middle of history.
"Did anyone tell you before that you are very needy?"
Regulus saw how Vivien looked around their surroundings before she laid her smaller hand on his thigh.
"Am I?" She asked with those big sinless eyes, licking her lips, softening her face in the manner that caused Regulus to yearn to crush his mouth against hers.
And she rubbed his thigh. His hand went higher on her thigh. Their eye-fight caused tense thrills to them in wonder, who would give in first? The whole fight went on until Vivien's hand went straight on Regulus' crotch and he was ready to drop his pants right then and there.
At that moment, Regulus decided, "Pack your things. We're leaving as you wanted, Vi."
Still do!
Regulus became a bit too enlivened, his hormones stirred inside his belly. When he was standing up, he knocked his chair down to the ground.
Binns at the blackboard didn't bother himself about the disturbance, writing burnings in Salem.
But sixth-yearsโ heads snapped in the direction of the young couple. Regulus and Vivien had their faults written all over them, including Regulus' hands on Vi's hips that he took off under the pressure of all the stares.
"What the hell are you doing?" Evan, who sat in front of them, whispered loudly at their clumsy effort to sneak out of the classroom to go Merlin knew where to do Marlin knew what.
"Going to the bathroom?" Vivien mumbled under her nose as if to convince none, Regulus picking up the chair.
"Both of you with all your shite packed?" Doyle threw his two knuts in.
Vivien saw how he and Amycus looked her up and down as if she stood naked in front of them. And she saw a few disapproving looks of Slytherin girls and not onlyโnot because she was about to slag around but because Regulus was a slag for herโhow they would all call it.
It was a bit satisfying to others jealous of what Vivien had and they could neverโRegulus Arcturus Blackโthe kindest and most loving boyfriend a girl could ever dream of.
There was one person who truly seemed to be ready to call Vivien a slag.
When Vivien's eyes met Zahara's, she rolled her and turned towards the blackboard. Vivien didn't care either. It was an old habit to always look for Zahara in a crowd.
Regulus had to admit to himself that it was him getting impatient in the end.
"Yes. We won't be right back. Piss off all of you, pricks." He grasped Vivien's waist hurriedly and she took a hint that they were still leaving. She marched out of the classroom.
"Wicked."
The couple heard as Regulus was closing the door quietly. Soon his hands found their place on Vivien's hips, and she felt how his a bit bulgy crotch kept brushing against her bum. He was walking right behind her, when she giggled foolishly.
"I think they might know we aren't going to the bathroom."
"We might."
Vivien glanced at Regulus over her shoulder.
"Would you take me to the bathroom? A gentleman like you?" She teased.
Regulus wasn't even certain where he was walking. And Vivien challenged him. As they were passing one of the older doors, he snatched Vivien towards them, opening them for a lady first.
Vivien entered the Detention Chamber and Regulus followed right after. The half-melted candles lightened up. The witch turned around to face the boy with a smirk and some naughty remark but his lips crushed against hers before she could comment. Her eyes closed.
Both of their school bags dropped to the floor with a deaf thud.
Regulus' hands grabbed Vivien's waist and he walked her to one of the old desks. She felt her bum hit the edge and she sloppily sat on it.
Regulus gave her no chance to part away and see what she was doing. Vivien's hands slipped onto his shoulders and she pushed down his robe.
Once her hands played with the hem of his jumper, he separated and they took it off. They didn't waste time and pulled the tie over his head and undid his button-down. Once Regulus' torso was bare, Vivien kissed all over his neck and chest taking care of every one of his freckles. He felt her warm tongue leave wet marks. He delicately pushed her away and kissed her, his lips trailing off to her jaw. He softly pinched her. He was multitasking.
Vivien felt him suck her skin and his hands unzipping her trousers, pulling her button-up out to undo it. Soon she was left in her lacy bra and panties.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien whimpered, surprised. Her vagina felt sore at Regulus pulling himself out of her. He was collecting himself from the top of her after their orgasm. He had been somewhat laying down on top of her for cuddles in the unfavourable conditions of the Detention Chamber.
After their orgasm, Vivien's legs were hanging motionless off the table but Regulus stood between them on the ground the whole time. Vivien snickered to him how stupidly he had to look, resting his cheek between her tits. He ignored her and enjoyed the small goosebumps she sprinkled his skin with, drawing her nails on his back in different shapes.
But now he gazed at her worriedly, standing over her.
"Did I hurt you, Vi?" He asked, correcting her panties on her pussy.
No matter how tough Regulus tried to be, he couldn't be. He was a gentleman above it all.
And Vivien appreciated it. What they did was naughty but it didn't leave her feeling all used, cold, and alone like it did with other boys.
Regulus fucked Vi in her undergarmentsโshe knew exactly whyโto save her the inconvenience of embarrassing herself, not only by getting caught with him in a telling situation but completely bare too. It was in case someone decided to suddenly use the Detention Chamber after decades.
And Regulus gave her his robe to lie down on. As he was vigorously thrusting into her, he rubbed her clit very nicely for her cunt to cream for all of him.
Now her clit was overstimulated and her vagina was sore. Regulusโ charm had left her feeling fulfilled like never before.
Vivien smiled at him.
"I'm a little sore." She sat up weakly when he was about to pull her panties to the side again and examine her private partsโto see what he did.
"Fuck, did I give you burns or something?"
Shite, he thought he was going at a good pace! They should have gone to his dormitory, where the intimate oil was! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Vivien saw Regulus was all woken from after hormones, gazing at her, waiting for her to tell him where she was hurt, what exactly was hurting her, and how it was hurting her. My cute nurse. She laid her hands on his neck, smiling.
"I'm fine, doll. It feels like my vagina is sore from physical use." Her nose scrunched adorably.
She drew her thumb against the center of his throat, feeling his tense Adamโs apple. He examined her. She appeared to be sincere and not trying to make him feel better only.
Regulus captured her lips affectionately. They kissed tenderly, but Vivien's hand dropped to Regulus' bare chest and she pushed him away faintly. Before he could raise his brows, she asked,
"Can we go now? It's cold here and it creeps me out."
Vivien looked around the Detention Chamber. She always wondered how true the rumours and stories about that room were. The room had no windows and the absence of light and the presence of darkness gave it a more terrifying aura to scare out students. She wondered if it was actually ever legal to torture young wizards at Hogwarts as a punishment. But the room was cleaned regularly and there was only a sheer layer of dust on the furniture.
"And if I'm being honest, the thought of the ghost of these tortured kids watching us makes my skin crawl." She added, looking at Regulus.
"Now that you said it, I realise how obscure it was of me to take you here."
Regulus found his wand to use his special spell for no babies, so he and Vi could part and dressed into their uniforms.
Regulus was fixing his belt, when speaking, trying to be funny.
"I guess you weren't the first to scream in here, so you don't have to be shy about that one thing, Vi."
Vivien picked up his tie and was about to approach him to put it on for him. She scoffed at the nasty words that left his naughty mouth.
Regulus tilted his head forward and let her help with a tie. They gazed into each other's eyes.
"Don't flatter yourself, Black. It was mere moans at best."
"There is no shame in getting a little disciplined. These kids have seen worse." Regulus felt how tight the tie tightened on his throat, Vivien staring at him sharply, her lashes like daggers, keeping him at the knifepoint.
She scoffed in disbelief once more.
"Oh, it was a punishment?"
"For misbehaving in a class."
I wasn't the one to misbehave, little lying bitch!, Vivien was outraged at how Regulus was lying in front of these non-existent ghosts of tortured children!
"Oh, right. Sorry."
She laid a hand on her forehead theatrically.
"Oh, please, don't! I promise I will be good now! Please! Stop." She fakely cried out, her face quivering.
Regulus only smirked to himself, Vivienโs cries similarly to the ones she let out a few minutes before, pleading for him to not stop but. Instead she wanted even more, which he gave her and now her throat wasnโt the only sore part of her body.
"Can we talk about what happened between you and Zahara now?"
Black changed the topic since, not able to ignore the rude eye-roll she had given Vi.
Vivien didn't speak to her or about her at all, and Zahara had asked to change patrol partner from Dorcas to Rosalie, causing Dorcas to pair up with Edgar Bones.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus made love everywhere. There was a list of reasons why neither of them would be let into heaven. It was a week full of work. They had done it in the bathroom with Evan behind the dorm wall. On the bench in the changing room after quidditch training since Dorcas had it every few weeks to keep her players in condition. In a corridor, where Vi dragged Regulus by his tie after Barty separated from him during their patrol. In a classroom between classes, which caused the two to show up late for Transfiguration. Vivien acted so nonchalantly and everyone stared at Regulus' neck since she lied to him that the lovebites weren't really showing, her lips swollen from how she smashed them.
But Vivien didn't know how it was with one of them performing an act on the otherโwhat the rules were? She adored Regulus in a bodily sense but she didn't lie, claiming the heads were what she thought about all the time. Perhaps all the time was an exaggeration but it was a lot of time.
Vivien wanted to feel the sensation of Regulus' tongue on her private parts. It was so magical! But Vivien didn't know how to communicate that she wanted Regulus to lick her out without making it awkward or worseโruining their shared moments. Should she perform on him first and he would return the favour then? Should I hint? How can I hint at it without it feeling forced?
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was quite disappointedโVivien never asked or suggested she wanted a head again, even though she obviously liked it the first time and she didn't try to hide it. After all, she didn't enjoy it? It was quite disappointingโRegulus let her down. He wanted to give her all the pleasure. She even gave him a handy in an emptied corridor before she asked for one or a head! Between them it was Regulus, who felt the most pleasure, satisfying the other.
Vi felt the most satisfaction, receiving pleasure. And Regulus reminded himself. The only correct answers with Vi were the simplest.
She didn't know how to ask him for a head!
So on a sunny Friday afternoon, Regulus decided to take Vivien for a stroll. It was like she read his mind, changing into one of her short skirts as he sat in her dorm contemplating her. She was beautiful and looked pretty with her purple tube top and cardigan that she matched to the lavender ribbons in her hair.
Vivien fixed her mascara in front of the cheval glass, Regulus watching her from her bed. She added some more perfume, and it slipped on Regulus' tongue to tease and tell her to sprinkle her ankles too.
Pandora was in the room but she was busy with some calculations for her next alchemy experiment. Vivien offered her to join her and Regulus on the walk. He nearly cracked. Bad idea.
Luckily, Panda declined, fine with having some more time alone for herself since she was the only single-not-single person in their friend group. Evan and Barty were at Regulus' and his dorm, Cassie was seeing Marlene, and Em disappeared somewhere after classes, taking Bibie with herself.
Regulus himself was already changed, not waiting for Vi at the rendezvous spot. He came all the way from his dorm in the dungeons to the Ravenclaw Tower for Vi. He knew even her quickest showers lasted for twenty minutes minimum. She claimed to love the feeling of the warm water on her skin. He knew the most time in the shower she spent standing, getting watered like a withered plant.
When Vivien and Regulus left the castle, he was very suggestive to Vi's imagination. One time, he spanked her arse and squeezed it to tempt her. And another time, he said he was thirsty, asking her if she would like to change it.
Each time Vivien checked if there was someone to see or hear him to confirm she wasn't going insane and she heard him correctly. There wasn't. Vivien told herself she read him wrongly and her head-wanting body took Regulus' every gesture for an offer, even if she remembered that he told her that since she squirted for the first time he wanted to taste her orgasm.
Regulus didn't know if he was suggestive enough, too little or too much.
As they strolled down the hill, he saw his chance.
"Vi, do you know there's a secret passage under the Whomping Willow?"
Vivien took a second to think about her answer.
"I heard rumours." She shrugged her shoulders.
"But you never went inside?"
She furrowed her eyebrows, pretending to focus to think.
"No... No, I don't think so."
"Do you want to? It leads into the Shrieking Shack."
Regulus tried to peak Vivien's interest, she could tell. She felt bad because she already knew the spot. She didn't tell him that and she let him peak her interest.
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ย ย ย ย ย If that's how Regulus wants to peak my interest, he can! Vivien laid on some dusty crusty old table after Regulus made a blanket out of his jumper for her. He sat in his black polo neck with his head buried under her miniskirt between her legs.
Vivien was crying out but not for help. She didn't want help. She was crying for it to never end. Regulus had that ability to effortlessly have Vivien open her legs for him everywhere. Thanks Merlin, I didn't wait for a shower until the eveningโฆ
Regulus was slurping Vivien's pussy like his favourite drink and despite the funny sound their bodies connected together like that made, Vivien was too needy for the sensation to laugh at the sound. She was squirming against Regulus' mouth and wet hot tongue, overstimulated from the first orgasm. And his slim fingers thrust inside her, rubbing against her.
"Fuck," Vivien felt red. She felt like ripping her clothes into shreds from the temperature Regulus was causing to raise inside her. She clenched and unclenched her legs feeling free to do so after Regulus assured her it was fine.
But what if I crush your head? Vivien had asked before.
Please do. He had nearly begged, instructing her with his hand to lay down flat on the table before digging his head between her legs.
And Vivien felt too good to care how she looked or sounded. She wanted more, tangling her fingers into his curls to press him.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
Vivien's eyes snapped open, hers and Regulus' heads spinning in the direction of the old dusty crusty room door in the Shrieking Shackโprobably a dining room.
James Potter stood at the door, holding onto the handle like he got petrified. Sirius was peeking over his shoulder, only to smile stupidly and wave his hand.
Vivien took her hand off Regulus' head. She felt how quickly she became cold inside.
"Hello brother, hello sister-in-law!"
Vivien propped on her elbows with a grimaced face in disgust.
Regulus' eye twitched. He pointed his hand at the door.
"Get out, you idiots!"
Dorcas glanced into the room, her voice and eyes accusing. "You fucking whores! That's how you spent your time alone?!"
"No. We do different positions." Regulus answered, the laughter echoing through the shack.
"You fucking traitor! That's how you spent your fucking time alone with Marlene?! With Gryffindors?!" Vivien pointed her finger at Cas, ignoring Regulus' smoothness.
"Oi, we used to be your favourites, Viva!" Mary argued from the hallway.
"The keywords are used to be. Now can you get the fuck out and close the door behind yourself?"
"And learn how to knock." Younger Black muttered. Despite the circumstances, Vi felt his hand warm her thigh, caressing it with his thumb.
"Oh, no! No! NO! We fucking knocked!" James pointed his finger at him.
"They heard your fuuuck probably in London!" Peter swore, peeping into the room, mimicking the witch's moan.
Vivien stared at them all until she turned her head towards Regulus, who was already looking at her with raised eyebrows. She smiled innocently.
"Ooops,"
Vivien might or might not had gotten a little too excited as she was reaching for Regulus' wand in his trouser bm pocket to silence the room between the kisses. She might or might not had silenced the wrong room as the couple hadn't heard a single knock on the door.
Regulus sighed, taking his hand off Vivien's thigh to rub his own face.
"Alright, can you get the fuck out now?"
"No! What the fuck do you think you two are doing?!" James took a step forward, gesticulating to moralise. In the Shrieking Shack?!
"Damn, I feel bad for Evans." Regulus snickered.
Lily, Alice, Mary, and Marlene peeped into the room. Evans rolled her eyes reaching for James' arms and yanking him out of the room.
"Why are Blacks such whores?" Marlene commented, tilting her head at the couple, intrigued.
"Unstable relationships in the family, now leave!" Vivien yelled.
"Black, I fucking hate you." Edgar glanced inside the room to admitted it from the depths of his heart.
"Great! Now could you get out, take them all with yourself, and look for the fucks I give when we finish here? We were in the middle of something here. Give me three minutes and we're gone."
Now it would be at least five!, Vivien felt energised but not because of Regulus. To fix it, it would take a few nice thigh kisses from him!
Vivien laid down on the table, given up. Lupin stepped into the room, not shocked at the sight.
"Or you can take this to one of your dormitories?" He suggested politely.
"No. We were kind of in the middle of a dinner here and it was-" Regulus checked his watch. "A dessert time. Vivien was the chef's special. Shitehole is ugly but the food is deliciousโvery juicy. If you want a table, find your own." He said smugly, spreading on his chair with his hands behind his head.
Vivien glanced at him gently.
Vivien inside blushed when he described her as a delicious dessert. She was!
But Vivien outside decided for her own peace to sit up and close her legs. Thankfully, she sat across the room and her private parts were facing the opposite wall from the door.
Regulus was the only one to see her pussy.
"Come on, Regulus. Let's go. They've already ruined the mood. I've never been dryer in my life than I am watching and listening to them now." She said, as malicious with her words as Regulus was.
"Oi!" Potter threw his hands into the air. Lily rolled her eyes, bringing them down to his sides.
Alice put a hand over her mouth to mask the snort she let out. Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary didn't try to hide their laughter.
"Touchรฉ," Sirius murmured, laying his hand on his hand.
Remus blinked and Peter rolled his lips into his mouth.
"Beauchรชne, count your days." Edgar warned.
"Shhh, it's alright, babe." MacDonald turned into his arms, patting him on the chest, as he took her in his arms.
Vivien squinted her eyes at Bones and MacDonald together, staring at them over her shoulder.
"I fucking knew it." She pointed her finger at them. "I smelled you two from a kilometre away." Bones shrugged, leaning to kiss Mary with a smirk on his lips.
After that confrontation, Regulus and Vivien were left alone in the room, the idiots standing in the corridor, overhearing a single sound the two made.
Regulus picked up the panties hanging from one of Vivien's feet as he was standing up. Vivien landed on her feet to the ground and he kneeled down, holding the panties lowly. She put her legs into the holes supporting herself on his shoulders. He pulled the,, under the skirt for her.
Vivien felt how soft his fingers were. They caused her a spasm, tickling her all along the lines of her legs. When he was straightening, her hands moved to his neck and knotted around it. She stood on her toes. She had noticed how she needed it to do it for some time now.
"I think you grew."
"I am a big boy. I had to or it would be disproportionate." Regulus joked foolishly.
Vivien giggled, reaching for his lips to kiss himโdeeply, slowly, shamelessly.
"Do you ever stop?" Alice cringed, all the idiots were lurking into the room at the sound of lips smacking.
Vivien and Regulus pulled away from each other.
"No, I fear." Remus answered for them.
Dorcas clicked her tongue.
"No, they don't. And I mean they never stop. Never. Neee-veeer. " She emphasised.
"I have a better questionโwhy are you even here anyway?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
"Planning to have an orgy." Lily smiled from James' arms. He held her, now less emotional than before. IN THE SHRIEKING SHACK?! WHO WOULD DO THAT?!
"I didn't know you were open like that, Evans." Regulus smirked.
Before James threw his hands again, Vivien reached for Regulus' jumper and handed it to him. She collected his wand too. The idiots watched Regulus about to dress into his jumper.
"Maybe it's better to not wear it?"
Regulus glanced at his jumper, putting it up to his nose to take a deep dramatic sniff of it. He looked Peter up and down.
"No. It's finally wearable now."
After he dressed, Vivien hooked her arm around his. They pushed the group of the idiots, leaving them to their orgy.
But as they strolled through the corridor, Regulus added over his shoulder, "Potter, you could take a few notes from what you walked on. I could never leave Vivien dissatisfied that badly."
He joked crudely, meaning the โorgyโ they were intending to throw.
Vivien smiled. It's true. She knew sometimes it happened with boysโthey finished too quickly for girls and left them unsatisfied.
Correctionโit even happened oftentimes. Vi experienced it more than once herself. But with Regulus, she got lucky and he always made sure she was as satisfied as he was. He always did his best.
They climbed down to the basement of the shack, and dragged their feet through the passage that led out of it. After a few minutes, they reached the stairs. Regulus let Vivien first. She opened the secret door and as she stood at it, the Whomping Willow slowly began to slam and smack around, sensing presence.
"Immobulus," She whispered.
Regulus grasped her waist and they hurriedly left the secret passage. Only faw away, they slowed down.
"Shite," They heard and turnedโfor their faces to grimace.
Sirius ran out of the secret passage.
"I wanted to talk to you, brother." He panted, running to Regulus and Vivien to catch them.
Vivien didn't like that idea. The last time Sirius and Regulus talked was probably, when Sirius ruined what could be between Vi and Regulus a year before. Maybe all these broken hearts could be saved if it wasn't for him! She truly didn't know how rough their relationship wasโRegulus never wanted to talk about it and he didn't even mind talking about how abusive his parents could be.
"I have nothing to say." Regulus said flatly. He turned around and Vivien followed.
"Then you can listen to me. Please."
Vivien had never heard Sirius plead for anything before.
Regulus had never heard his older brother plead for anything either. He stopped.
Vivien didn't want to leave. She had this sickening feeling in her stomach but Regulus told her to.
"I will catch you, Vi." She knew Sirius better than this, but Regulus seemedโฆ Hopeful? Helpless? Desperate?
She could tell it from his eyes and she nodded her head softly in understanding. Hesitant, she dragged her feet, climbing up the hill and leaving two Black brothers alone.ย
She was walking, walking, and walking.
Finally she entered the courtyard, wandering slowly, hoping Regulus would sooner or later appear on her side. She didn't suspect him to pass her, speedily taking big steps towards the same entrance she was walking to. The yard was free and Vivien speeded up.
She grasped the sleeve of Regulus' jumper when they were at the entrance.
"Regulus?" She asked, worried after he had ignored her, passing her.
He stopped unwillingly and his body turned towards hers.
His face stayed away.
"Regulus, what happened?" Vi asked after he didn't want to face her. She laid her hands on his neck and they ebbed on the known waters of his body.
Gently, she wanted to instruct him to face herโif he would let her. He did.
Vivien saw it.
Regulus was crying.
He took a hold of her wrist, melting in her warm hands. He caressed her skin.
The corners of Vivien's lips fell down, even if she wasn't smiling to begin with. Her brows softened and her hands rippled to Regulus' torso, flowing towards his back. She brought him to her. He embraced her tightly and she brushed his curls to calm him down.
"I'm so sorry, Regulus." She whispered.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien and Regulus returned to her dorm, where they left Pandora. She was still there but with Sybill and Emmeline, who were helping her with an experiment. At the moment the couple entered the room in low spirits, the girls almost forgot about it.
They asked a very few questions after Regulus laid down in Vivien's bed with a small pillow over his face to hide himself in shame. He was still sobbing as badly as before. They asked Vivien if Regulus and she needed a minute alone.
Vivien didn't want to kick her dormmates out of their own room but they offered to leave on her own and she was thankful since Regulus and she had no other place to go after Evan asked for a few hours in their dorm with Barty.
Soon, Pandora, Sybill, and Emmeline left for dinner and Vivien crawled on her mattress towards Regulus.
She hugged him into her little spoon, Regulus letting go of the small pillow. He turned into Vivien's arms to face her. She watched him cry. He wasn't gasping or sniffing like she would always be. He was a light cryer. Tears were swimming down his pinkish cheeks, his reddened eyes full of them.
Vivien let him cry it out.
After some time of silence, Regulus spoke out quietly.
And Vivien boiled at what she heard.
Note to herself: never invite brothers into your little idyll! They will fuck it up! Nothing personal, Bambi, Teddy, Rosi, Philly, and Eden!
Something very personal, Sirius!
Chapter 60: backstabbing bitch!
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien asked the girls if Regulus could stay a night. They agreed without a second thought. They watched Vivien brush his curls even after he was asleep. After some time, she leaned to his cheek and left a delicate kiss on his pinkish skin. She crawled out from her bed and asked Pandora to watch Regulus for her until she was back soon.
Vivien tiptoed out of her dorm, soundlessly closing the door. The closer she was to the Gryffindor common room, the more she stomped her feet. She felt her hands tighten into fists. She was furious at Sirius, her skin prickling with frustration.
BACKSTABBING BITCH!
When she stomped up to the Fat Lady, she spat out the password before she could ask her for it.
She entered the Gryffindor room and stomped directly towards the Marauders' dormitory, when she knew the whole place like she knew her hand. It used to be her house as much as Ravenclaw was. She climbed all the stairs. Without knocking on the door, she slammed them open.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She immediately shouted at Sirius, rushing towards him.
All of the idiots were there, including him. He laid with Remus on his bed like nothing had happened! Like he did nothing!
He was laughing with all of them just like that after he said those lies to Regulus! Once all the Gryffindors, Cassie, Marlene, and Edgar saw Vivien prepared to rip Sirius' head off with bare hands, they all fell quiet.
Sirius and Remus sat up in front of her.
Vivien was red on her face. Her eyes weren't wild. They were maniacal. Everyone tensed, aware that she visited there for blood.
"You have no fucking right to talk about me and your brother when you fucked us up! What we are, we could be a fucking year ago but no thanks to you!" She pointed her finger at him. "I convince myself that I like him now?!"
"What the fuck did you tell Regulus, you fucking cretin?" Dorcas hopped up to her feet, obviously Sirius not bragging to his friends what exactly he had told Regulus.
Marlene followed after her, more grounded. She laid her hand on her future girlfriend's shoulder.
A thunder struck outside the windows as Vivien continued.
"Why did you tell me to apologise after the quidditch match?! You could walk by me but you pretended to care about your brother! You are a fucking liar! I began falling in love with Regulus in my third year! I totally fell for him in fourth, and I have been completely and madly in love with him since fifth! I love him now but you wouldn't fucking know that?! None of you would because I fucking knew I couldn't trust you with my feelings and I was fucking right! I love Regulus to the lengths you would never understand, Sirius! You know why?! Because the closest you've ever come to loving someone is yourself. You only care about yourself! It's you that is not capable of love no matter how much you try to because there is something broken inside of you that could never be fixed!"
Vivien gesticulated madly, her hands trembling with turmoil of emotions.
"Marlene needed support, and you handed her a fucking bottle and told her to drink it up! Peter needed confidence, and you handed him a pack of cigarettes and told him to feed himself up! Remus needed an acceptance, and you risked his place in Hogwarts for the unfunniest fucking joke! Mary needed help, and you gave her even a worse boyfriend than the first oneโyourselfโand told her to open her legs up! That's why I didn't tell about Nolan because I wanted to die, and you would hand me a fucking knife! Regulus needs me and you try to make him feel isolated?! From the only person that fully accepts him with all his guilt and faults?! There is something sick inside of you that wants to leave everyone around you miserable, Sirius! I would be far more concerned about myself in your place because I love Regulus as he is! And this fucking arranged engagement has nothing to do with it! You don't get to laugh after what you said!"
Vivien knew Sirius struggled with his own issues but it didn't give him a right to always be forgiven, whenever he fucked up instead of working to stop doing fucked up things.
Everyone has problems! She saw red, glaring at him, hearing blood roaring through her ears like she was at him.
Sirius grew to his feet immediately.
"I meant good, Vivien! I don't want him to depend on you when you leave!" He accused.
"When I leave?! Leave fucking where?!" She yelled.
"I don't know where, but I do know whenโand it's when shite will get fucking hard!"
Vivien giggled in disbelief at him, "Like you did?! Don't project yourself on me! We're not the same! We will never be even close, Sirius! Just because you gave up on him, doesn't mean I will!"
Sirius scowled with his whole face.
"He fucking watched, Vivien? Do you fucking get it?! I was crying on the ground and he watched and did nothing! Said nothing!"
"And I don't blame you for leaving your home and family! I blame you for giving up on him?! How could you ever give up on him?! On your own brother!"
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but my brother is growing into the monster that my parents are!"
"You have no fucking clue what he's growing into!"
"You don't think straight because your feelings for him blind you, Vivien!"
Vivien, scoffed. SO NOW I DO HAVE ACTUAL FEELINGS FOR HIM?!
Vivien and Sirius screamed into each other's faces back and forth.
"No, I know who Regulus is! You don't! You only know what he used to be but I do too! And I love him with all the faults and flaws that you will never know because you weren't there with him!" She pointed her finger at her chest, pushing him repeatedly.
"I was there, when your mother beat him up until he was bleeding! I was there, when he hurt himself! I'm there, when he doesn't eat and I'm there to make sure he does! And I'm there, when he cries himself to sleep because of you! I was there-"
when he had to choose between dying or killing!, Vivien nearly said but she stopped herself.
"I am always there for him! You don't even know half of the abuse!"
Sirius cackled out in her face, maniacal like a toad.
"I don't?! I fucking don't?! I tried to protect him! But he chose my parents!"
"He was a child! A terrified fourteen-year-old boy!"
"And I was a sixteen-year-old boy fighting for my life!"
"So is he! You don't even know how much he kept to himself before because he thought he could make you stay with him! And you let him downโyou didn't just leave, you moved onโyou gave up on him! On your own brother! And now you think you are the right person to judgeโthat you can tell him how bad of a person he is! He might have been a bad brother but he has one. You have dozens of friends! You have no right to speak of me to his face when you have never really gotten to know me!"
"You ran away the first time he told you he loved you!" Older Black chuckled.
She leaned towards him, staring into his eyesโthe ones Regulus had. And she preferred them on him.
"And I came back. Because I always come back! That's what makes such a big difference between us two, Sirius! I'm not weak." Her lips twisted as she spoke, words dripping down her tongue like venom.
She was disgusted with Sirius. He was disgusting to her.
Vivien didn't know how she could even ever be friends with him. She knew she could never understand how Sirius felt until she found herself in a similar position, which she didn't wish to. But he left. He was free. He could do anything he wanted to. And from all these things, he had chosen to look down on Regulus and judge him. And judge Vivien. And for that, she would judge him without mercy like he did to his own brother.
"What did I ever do to you that you hate me so much? That you think so low of me? That you think I'm equal to you when I'm a much better person than you will ever be?!" She looked him up and down, her lips twisting in a mocking smile.
She didn't deserve to be judged so unfairly. She had always been a good friend to Sirius. And she didn't know why he thought of her so lowโthat she was lying to herself about her feelings for Regulus because she actually wasn't capable of love and she would run away the first chance she gotโwhen it never happened and she never ran away any time she got the chance.
Miss Beauchรชne was so done with everyone not believing she could truly love Regulus Black. She had this urge to kick Sirius. Instead she took a step back from him. After a long moment of tense silence as they stared at each other, she turned around towards the opened door since Sirius had nothing else to tell.
No answers, no accusations, no more wise words.
"I love him, Sirius. I would kill for Regulus." She said silently, walking away.
"Would you die for Regulus?" She heard Sirius ask dryly. She stopped and licked her dry lips, her throat begging for some water. She turned around again staring at Sirius. But the stare wasn't even sharp anymore like she wished to stab him. It was emotionless. She wasn't impressed.
"Vivien, you don't know what he is." Sirius tried to warn her.
She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head in disbelief. She collected herself before she could explode all over with her emotions.
"I know who he is." Vivien nodded her head as if to emphasise. "And I love him with my whole heart. I know he deserves more than that and I will always try to love him more, when I already love him more than I have ever loved anyone. Anyone."
Vivien loved her brothers endlesslyโshe would never give up on them like Sirius did on Regulus. And even her brothersโall combinedโcouldn't compete with how much she loved that boy. This is how much Vivien loved Regulus.
She left the shitty room with shitty Sirius in it and the shitty Gryffindors. She heard the door close after her. She ran down the stairs. In the common room, she felt all the glances from other Gryffindors after she shouted so many personal things of hers but of the Black brothers' too.
"Vivi," Rosie approached her in the middle of it, smiling faintly.
"Hmmm?" She faced him, softening.
"How is Regulus feeling?"
"He's sleeping now, at least I hope he still is." Vivien smiled palely. She laid a hand on her little brother's cheek to graze it.
"SCREW YOU!"
Suddenly they heard another shout followed by the slam of the door with all the strength Dorcas had.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was going back to her room, when Dorcas and Marlene caught up to her. They talked for a minute in the Ravenclaw common room. Vivien assured Dorcas that Regulus wasn't alone and he wouldn't ever be again. She even apologised for leaving him with Sirius but Cas didn't even think of blaming her for that.
As Vivien sneaked inside the dormitory, her roommates were quietly doing their own things.
Vi faced Regulus waiting for her with Clรฉmentine. They lay on their sides observing the door. Regulus was observing it, waiting for her to come back to him. She kicked off her shoes and scrambled on a mattress towards him, causing the little princess to move to another place after she kept an eye for dad until mom was back.
Regulus had tired eyes, exhausted. Yet, after Vivien left him, he woke. He wanted her to hug him and hold him. In the end, she did. He let her under the duvet. Vivien embraced Regulus and he laid his head on her shoulder. Vivien sneaked her hand under his jumper and polo neck, caressing his slightly sweaty back. She could feel his bony spine.
"I love you, Regulus, and don't believe anyone who says otherwise." She whispered.
They fell asleep in their clothes but it was the weekendโtime to change the bedsheets anyway. Vivien, Regulus, and Clรฉmentine tossed together the whole night but always together. If one changed position, the other two adapted. They slept together or not at all.
In the morning, Vivien and Regulus took a looooong bath. Emmaline went for breakfast before the Ravenclaw quidditch training with Sybill, Pandora, and Clรฉmentine.
From what the couple gathered, the girls would meet in the Great Hall with Marlene, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty. Vivien asked Regulus if he would like to join them but he declined and the two stayed in the dorm.ย
Now, they were resting in the bathtub until the silence of the room was disturbed by Vivien's growling stomach. Regulus' hands laid against it and he could feel the vibrations. The beast inside of Vi roared to be fed.
Vivien refreshed Regulus' clothes with a quick trick of the wand and they both dressed in their cigarette trousers and Regulus' jumpers.
To Vivien's enjoyment, Regulus asked her to do her hair. Neither of them dried their hair but Regulus brushed Vivien's gently and braided them loosely but tightly enough for them to not be all over her face.
"I didn't know that you could do this." She said, looking at her hair in the cheval glass.
Regulus sneaked to her and she saw his hands on her hips, feeling their warmth too.
"I daresay I'm good with my hands."
Vivien turned around to Regulus, his hands warming her bum. He was smiling with his dimples showing, provoking her with his boyish suggestive joke. She looked at him, cupping his face, and stroked one of his dimples.
"I daresay you're good with everything." She bit her bottom lip.
"Oh yeah?" Regulus smiled wider.
It sounded less romantic than Vivien thought it would, adding to the temperature of the situation.
"I mean not in that sense." She hesitated, her eyes closing. "I mean you are good in that sense with your hands and everything else too but I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you are good with everyth-"
Regulus leaned down to her and kissed her in the middle of her sentence. Vivien smiled against his lips.
And the beast inside of her ruined their moment again. Regulus took Vi to the kitchen, where the elves were in the middle of cooking lunch. There were leftovers from breakfast and Vivien collected bacon as Regulus picked up toasts and butter. The bacon was cold, and turning chewy but it was bacon. Vivien liked bacon and they ate it in the corner of the kitchen, chasing it with the toasts and cold tea.
Back in Vi's dormitory, there was not really much to do. The two talked, when Regulus looked through Vivien's things out of curiosity and she let him.
He found her old History volume, where she kept sticking all of her drawings to that day. Vivien stopped herself from getting defensive, trying to fight Regulus' for the volume in hands. He sat down on the edge of her bed, shaking out all the sketches stuck in it. She chewed on her bottom lip, her cheeks heating up. She only kept the best sketchesโthe perfect ones that didn't irk her brain when she looked at them because of all the imperfections. But there were still a lot of sketches. So many Reguluses.
Regulus looked between the sketches of himself, smiling. He liked how beautiful of a person he was, when Vivien drew him. He found the sketch of him and Eden she drew during the summer she had spent at his home. It was wrinkled. He didn't even notice its absence on the wall until then.
"After we fought, I got really upset and mad at everything. And I ripped it off the wall and I crushed it into a ball. It's not so precious anymore but I am still sentimental about it." Vivien whispered and Regulus felt how she approached him from behind. She hugged his back, her hands on his chest, her chin on his shoulder.
He glanced at her.
"I'm wondering, Vi. What is your favourite part of me?"
Vivien tilted her head studying Regulus' face from close. His prominent brows, his long eyelashes, his big eyes, his aristocratic nose, his bony cheeks, his cute dimples, his pink lips, and his sharp jaw.
"It's a hard choice when every part of you is so beautiful." She mumbled out, hypnotised by his beauty. "Perhaps your nose. This is the first thing about you I looked at and I thought to myself that there was something pretty about you. I used to glance a lot at your profile when we were partners in Potions. But it's your face overall. Or your chest. I like your chest too. And your back. Oh, and your hair. I love to play with them. They are soft."
Regulus liked that. His nose. It was unconventional and it made him feel special. Vivien liked his face. But she liked his torso too, the one that he used to be very self-conscious about. He was slim compared to other boysโeven his own friends. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to eat more to gain more weight and sculpt more muscles.
"And I really used to think you were trying to strangle me with ancient magic." He chuckled to himself.
Vivien smiled, shrugging her shoulders against him.
"Who said I wasn't? It could do both."
Vivien and Regulus gazed at each other until she broke the silence.
"What about me?" She raised her eyebrow. "What is your favourite part of me? And please, don't say my personality because I might cry. Not my nice pussy either because I will cry."
Regulus snorted.
Vivien let go of him when he turned around towards her. She sat on her heels, waiting to see what he was doing. He laid his hand on her waist communicating with her to lie down. She did and he found himself between her legs, leaning over her.
"It is neither of these two. And it's not your titties or a bum either." He claimed.
Vivien felt his hand dig under the jumper she was wearing. He stroked her ribs with his thumb.
"You are my favourite." He began and she opened her mouth to tell him off, but he pursued the topic further, "Yes, I know this is not an answer to your question, Vi. But it's not easier for me to choose than it was for you."
He fell silent.
Vivien saw how Regulus contemplated her. He studied her face like she did before to him, his eyes drawing every line of her. He looked lower at her neck, her chest, her belly, and her legs, and his eyes travelled all along to hers. He focused on her greenish irises.
"It's your eyes. People say eyes are the mirror of the soul and what I see in yours is beautiful. They tell me everything I need to know about you. But I like your cheeks too and how pink I make them. I like the dimples that I cause to appear." In fact, he did. "I like your nose and when it crinkles so cutely. I like your lips, although I don't like how roughly you treat them with your teeth that I like when you grin with them. I like your neck and how slim it is. I like your ribs and bellyโthere is something so beautiful about how delicately they were molded. I like your little belly bump and how sweet it tastes, Vi. Your cute little tummy that protects your womb."
He gazed into her beautiful wild eyes.
Vivien felt heavenly, whenever Regulus was being so sweet to her. And she liked her belly bump too, even though she remembered that Alice used to complain about hers because she thought she looked pregnant.
Vivien didnโt know why she didn't like itโthe bellies were such a beautiful part of womanhood and a sign of healthโexactly like Regulus describedโthey were there to protect women. Men don't have something so special about their bodies because they don't deserve it.
Vivien laid her hands on Regulus' neck, pulling him to her for a kiss.
The witch built her courage and she also showed her muse the masterpiece of him that she created a bit overinspired after Valentine's Day. Despite all the confusion Regulus had been left with after the hours they shared back then, he could cherish all the memories from their little idyll full of sex now. Passionate love-making, greedy kisses, and never-ending cuddles. And Vivien's moans of course.
How talented she was! She could paint, she could write, she could cook, she could name every judge in the Salem Witch Trials, she could recite โFrankensteinโ by heart, and she could even sing.
Regulus admired her workโhow beautiful he was through Viโs eyes.
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ย ย ย ย ย After the quidditch training, the girls returned to the dorm with guests.
They found Vivien and Regulus in a very telling situationโRegulus lay between Vivien's legs with his head on her chest. She was brushing his curls. It was very telling that they spent the whole late morning adoring each other in their solitude.
And the noises were catastrophic for their little idyll. The couple opened their eyes to see their friends, feeling a shift in the weight on the mattress under them. Evan laid down beside them. Vivien smiled at him. He reached her temple to give her a small kiss before he backed away.
Pandora and Barty sat down at the edge of hers bed. Emmeline and Sybill landed on one of their beds. Dorcas leaned over the footboard of Viโs bed to pet Clรฉmentine.ย
Vivien peeked at Pandora, who placed the Daily Prophet on her nightstand beside Vivien's. The two girls shared a look. Vivien smiled softly, pretending she wasn't planning on how to get a hold of that gazette. Pandora pretended she didn't intentionally place it as a trap for Vivien after she took a note on how the witch had to read it every day.
"How are you?" Cassie asked Regulus bluntly, her tone tender nonetheless.
Regulus only rubbed his cheek more into Vivien's chest.
"Comfortable." He mumbled out. Vivien smiled.
"I bet." Emma murmured under her nose but they heard her even from across the room.
Dorcas sighed and looked at her friends, regret written all over her face, guilty. Her eyes met Regulus.
"Reg, I'm sorry I was with themโwith him. I swear I didn't know what he said to you. He said you two had shared a few words. I assumed you two had a small argument but Vi was with you, right? It couldn't be that bad. But it was. And I stayed there because of Marls."
"A few words." Regulus chuckled bitterly to himself. He got up from Vivien, sitting up on her mattress between her legs. "My brother couldn't count if his life depended on it, Cas. Never trust him with estimating anything. And I'm not mad at you. You couldn't possibly predict what he told me. I couldn't."
Regulus said emotionlessly. After he had cried out his pain, all he was left with was emptiness.
But now, he had Vivien to always enliven something in him again. Laughter, butterflies in his chest, and more or less inappropriate thoughts. When he sat up, she sat up too. She was so clingy. Her arms locked around his torso and her chin rested on his shoulder as if that's why he was given oneโfor Vivien to rest her chin on it. And it felt fulfilling to have his other half with him. Regulus felt whole in Vivien's companion. He felt full, thanks to her.
"I'm sorry to both of you. I don't want to even hear it all. That was cruel of Sirius to say these things, Vi. I didn't know he was such a bad friend to you the whole time. I didn't know that he was such a bad friend."
Vivien shrugged her shoulders. Neither Regulus or she wanted to talk about Sirius. Sure, some of the things he said were very sensitive subjectsโbut most of them were lies and falsehoods of someone, who tried to judge the young couple from outside their relationship, not knowing anything about them anymore.
Vivien reassured Regulus about her feelings. He didn't need it because he was already certain of them. It was simply hurtful to hear such things from his brotherโwhat he said about Regulusโbut what he thought of Vivien tooโthe girl Regulus loved so dearly that used to be Sirius' friend.
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"
Macabre finding in Galloway Forest Park!
Two unidentified bodies were found tied to a tree. One male, one female. It is suspected to be a couple of muggles, Mr. and Mrs. Cadwaller. Authorities do not comment. The cause of death remains a mystery. All that is known is that the bodies weren't found whole.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien chewed on her bottom lip, reading her light lecture before sleeping. She simply chose to ask Pandora for the Daily Prophet, laying alone in bed as she and Regulus decided to sleep in their dormitories that night. He claimed he felt fine. In the end, it was even sadder than the two had suspected.
Vivien was bored and lonely! They haven't done it in weeksโsleep apart. If she only knew how much Regulus didn't know what to do with himself as his bed stood so empty without her in it after his prefect patrol!
Never again. What a sad mistake it was.
Chapter 61: game of questions
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne couldn't fathom how Taurus and Gemini seasons collided with each other. She didn't know why but these two weren't making sense beside each other.
Taurus was like mountains and forests and Gemini was like beaches and the seasโcompletely opposite energies. Yet, Evan and Rosaire couldnโt resemble each other more. Vivien knew astrology was more than about the sun sign.
Sybill has emphasised to her once with an analogy that the sun sign was a person's soil, a moon sign was a seed hidden in it, and the ascendent sign was what bloomed from the ground for anyone to see, other planets and houses were all the branches and leaves. Perhaps they were similar because of being spring-born. Airheadedโjokesters but caring, even if neither of them knew how to communicate it properly.
Evan and Rosaire agreed on sharing their birthday party. Vivien didn't want them to but they seemed really happy with it. Birthdays were a chore and both boys always had the issue of upcoming exams that everyone had to study for during their birthdays.
They didn't ask Vivien for her opinionโone afternoon during dinner they announced it to her, when she sat with Regulus and Dorcas at the table.
Vivien didn't even know her brothers and friends talked when she wasn't around. It's sweet but the decision is unacceptable!
Vivien had to accept it with dissatisfaction, her teeth gritting in a tight smile. Rosie and Evan were born exactly six days apart, on May 17th and 23rd. And it lined up perfectly with a Saturday on May 20th. It was like a sign for Vivien that it was meant to be the way they wanted it to be.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus was contemplating Vi with his dreamy eyes. Because she was like a dream to him! Most of the time, he wore exactly the same thingโhis jumpers and cigarette trousersโno matter what the weather and temperature were.
But Vi wasn't. Thank Merlin, she wasn't! Or otherwise he wouldn't get to see her wear another beautiful dress that she looked unreal in. After Halloween, the poor Christian dress that Walburga presented to Vi was fit only for a rubbish bin with a splash of Marlene's drink stuck to it forever. But Regulus' mother sent Vivien another dress for Easter. It tried to be a compromise between Walburga's conservative sense of fashion and Vivien's modern one.
Vivien was wearing a tight dress on thin straps made out of flowy material, her waist was as slim as she had never seen it before. It was longer than Vivien's dresses and rather tighter in all the right places. But it was in a floral pattern. Would it be my first choice? No. But do I look good? Yes.
Regulus liked it too. His mother tried to make Vivien hide some skin with it, but at the same time it was showing off her curves more. And she seemed confident in it. It was also in her colours since Vi already caught tan from the sun. The dress was in orange, pink, and yellow, and Vi was so pretty. She put on her black shoes and some dark pink cardigan.
Vivien turned around to Regulus, Evan, and Barty after she finished putting her rings on. Black was spreading on his bed, propped on his hands as if to have the best look at her.
"How do I look?" She was smiling sweetly, ready with her soft make-up on and her hair made in her style.
"Hot."
"Hot."
Evan and Barty laid on his bed. Rosier was laying his head on Crouch's shoulder but in the moment they both glanced at the witch. She posed cutely for all of them.
Vivien gazed at Regulus, who was studying her in silence.
"I don't think I can say what I have on my mind." His eyes met hers after they drew all the curves.
"Oh, no. Don't be shyโwe heard it all." Evan muttered. "What? Does she look like she wants to be taken into a bathroom, where you two could continue your little sticky business?"
Evan might had found out that Vivien and Regulus had done some unforgivable things in the bathroom with him behind the wall. And he wanted to know what needed to be cleaned from their body fluids, but Regulus wouldn't tell him! He found out, when Barty suggested he knew what Vivien and Regulus were doing in the bathroom that one evening because once he had found Black fixing his trousers in an emptied corridor during their prefect patrol. He followed the sound of Regulus' moan as he was finishing before he muffled himself. And he found Black, alone but the state of his trousers wasn't of someone who was lonely.
If only Evan knew it was not the first time the bathroom was a victim to Vi's and Regulus' crimes.
"What if I tell you it's more slippery than sticky?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow at Evan over his shoulder
Evam smirked fakely. "Fuck you, Black."
"No. I have a girlfriend."
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien wanted to prepare the food like always but everyone argued [tried to assure her but she took it as an argument since they weren't agreeing with her] that the one in the Room of Requirement would be as good as hers, probably hurting her feelings a little too much.
But it was trueโVivien was wasting her time on food that could easily cost no money, no effort, and no time. Regulus was all in it with everyone else. Vi could save the hours she would spend in the basement with elves, with him in the bed tossing around, cuddling, and grumbling about how she could make that food like she had done that day. But they both knew she enjoyed embracing Regulus more than she would be enjoying preparing that food.
The party began around dinner time. The Beauchรชne siblings invited everyone to the same living room, where they learned it was the living room in their first home. The one that Rosaire was too little to remember and Theodore barely could.
It was only Vivien and Ambrosie who had good memories of it but Rosie didn't even dare to think of anything else after Evan let him choose the place he would like to see on his birthday. Evan didn't have one. Perhaps Hogwarts, but he was already there.
"It's the closest place to home I have, and it is where all my friends are."
Vivien's heart melted upon hearing it. From all the people, she was the one to hug Evan to everyone's surprise. It was the saddest and most heartwarming thing she had ever heard and she didn't know how to react. She left Regulus' arms and wandered towards one of the birthday boys, Evan holding hands with his soon-to-be boyfriend. She hugged him and he hugged her back.
"I love you, Evan." She mumbled out against his shoulder.
Her brothers thought they misheard her. They knew she loved them and they knew she was capable of that feeling even stronger than others because she treated them her whole life with it. It was that they never heard her say it to anyone before Regulus. And then she said it so suddenly to Evan.
Vivien barely made these words out, feeling anxious because they were risky. But Evan would never reject Vivien's affection. He hugged her even tighter.
"And I love you too, Vivi." He responded in the only correct way after Vivien gave him such a special birthday gift.
Everything was going perfect during the celebrationโcakes, conversations, and the game of questionsโuntil Vivien got to ask her first question.
"What is your favourite soup and what soup would you be if you were a soup?" She asked Kingsley.
Regulus blinked and it seemed he wasn't the only one concerned for her and her sanity.
But Kingsley answered the question genuinely and younger teenagers appeared invested in it.
"Tomato soup, and absolutely tomato soup."
"Why?" Vivien smiled, intrigued.
Kingsley smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"And that wasn't a part of your question, Vivi. You may ask another time if you get another chance." He winked at her with his smooth answer.
He winked at Vi!, who sat with Regulus' hand on her waist, resting against his side.
Regulus sometimes forgot that half of Vivien's brothers' friends were boys. And they were pubescent boys. Perhaps Vivien should change the dress actually?! Kingsley wasn't significantly younger than he and Vi were.
Regulus' eye twitched, which didn't go unnoticed. Hestia snorted with Freya, Ambrosie, and Shacklebolt himself. Regulus' friends glanced at him top and laughed out loud with Teddy, Declan, and Rosaire.
Regulus had nothing to laugh about. Vivien pushed herself against his chest to check what others laughed at. He seemed normal, emotionless and pale as always.
"What happened?" She looked around at the others, her eyebrows tangling together.
"Someone's in trouble." Teddy said laconically.
Kingsley wasโwhen Regulus would catch the little shite!
In the break between questions, Regulus approached Ambrosie. And what he had found out was even worse! Kingsley used to fancy Vivien!
Vivien knew that but she didn't care. She cared about his feelings but she wasn't feeling the same. He wasn't really her type. He was too young. Now Vivien knew she liked boys her age. Or one specific boy her age.
And there was a paradox inside Regulus. He liked for everyone, boys and girls, to be jealous that only he held Vivien so closely, intimately, and passionately but at the same time he wanted to hide her away in his arms from the rest of the world and keep her for himself.
Even if she kept asking those questions,
"What is the biggest pet that you think you could defeat with bare hands? No wand, only hands."
"If you had to eat another human, what part of their body would you eat?"
"If I'm the older sister of my brothers, that means they're all younger than me, right? But I'm the only sister they have, and even if theoretically I'm the oldest and I'm their older sister I'm still the youngest sister of all the sisters they have. Isn't that weird?" She forgot she was asking a question and said what she thought about at the second. "I'm their older, the oldest and the youngest sister at once."
And it only got worse when she, Regulus, Pandora, Evan, Dorcas, Sybill, and Barty were left by themselves in the Room of Requirement.
"What do boys do with penises when they poop? Do they lay them on a seat, let them hang or hold them in a hand?"
Evan stared at her with the emptiest face, his brain incapable of processing what she had asked him. Barty and Dorcas snickered. Pandora and Sybill sat beside her, observing how quick Miss Beauchรชne was to ask all these questions. Regulus sat, given up after his hand fell off Vi's waist ages ago.
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ย ย ย ย ย Another day, the group sat in the Great Hall. It wasn't feast time but some students gathered there to study for exams, the library already all occupied. The exams were two weeks away but most professors had already shared the material students had to know.
Vivien sat with Regulus, Dorcas, and Marlene at one side of the Ravenclaw table. Pandora, Evan, Barty, Emmeline, and Sybill sat at the other. Dorcas had asked Vi if she was okay with Marlene around, and Vivien assured her she was. And it was good to see McKinnon healthy and held securely like she deserved before.
They all were trying to prepare for History, Vivien and Bartyโbut especially Vivienโcould not be bothered about it. Evan couldn't be eitherโnot because he was good at itโbut because he assumed the only way to learn for Binns' exams would be by learning every unneeded unimportant history fact, which he wouldn't be doing.
Dorcas and Emmeline were on the task to help and test Marlene, asking her different questions. In the end, they all were doing it back and forth.
Not Vivien and Evan, who were bored, throwing parchment balls at each other or Regulus, who didn't participate in their childish provocations. Vivien had it easier as she sat beside. For every parchment ball thrown at his left cheek, he warned he would want a kiss from her. Evan had joked if he wanted them from him too.
"No, although you could kiss my arse." Regulus counted that Vivien owed him seventeen kisses by then.
"And I thought you kept your perversion for the bed." Sybill mused.
"He does. The issue is that Vi and him treat everything like their bed, now." Evan accused once again, holding onto a grudge against Regulus specifically.
"Do we bore you two?" Dorcas glanced between Evan and Vivien with raised eyebrows.
They both looked at each other, then at her, nodding their heads.
"Yes."
"Very."
Barty chuckled. Obviously it wasn't what Dorcas meant them to do.
"I love you two but why don't you two take a break, go for a walk, breathe some air, and come back, when you feel like it?" Pandora suggested, gently parenting Vivien and Evan, others laughing quietly at them.
"We can?" Vivien asked, not considering they could leave. It didn't feel right.
"Yeah," Everyone else nodded in union.
Vi and Evan looked at each other before they stood up hurriedly.
"The last one at the door gives Regulus all the seventeen kisses!" Vivien threw at Evan, already running away.
Regulus didn't have time to even get insulted when the rest snickered already at him.
"It's not like you don't want to do it!" Evan protested, running after her.
"Shush!"
Some students hissed at Vi's and Evan's ignorant and loud behaviour. But they were already running out of the Great Hall towards the main exit leading onto the Courtyard. Vivien was smaller and faster but Evan was stronger. At some point he caught up to her and grabbed her waist before she could cross the line. He did, holding her hostage in his arms.
"First at the door!" He announced, panting.
Vivien fought him, panting too. "No, you aren't, you cheater!"
Evan placed her down and she turned around ready to attack.
But he outsmarted her, "You didn't say anything about fouls. I didn't know it was a fair play game." He pointed out.
She already had a finger stuck out to stab him in the chest.
Vivien opened and closed her mouth before she pouted her lips. She folded her finger back into her fist and crossed her arms over her chest, walking away.
"Oh, come on. I know you want to kiss Regulus anyway." Evan followed after her. He tried to lay an arm over her shoulders but she shrugged it off. "Fine, I can kiss you. For that, you don't have to beg." He joked and cupped one side of her face giving her a big kiss on the other side cheek.
"I don't like you, Evan." Vivien smiled against her will.
He grinned widely.
"It's right. You don't like me because you love me, Vivi." He nudged her at the ribs weakly, his elbow twice the size of her rib. He had no intention of breaking it.
She glanced at him with a small smile.
"I do." She confessed silently.
For a few minutes, they strolled in silence passing other students, listening to birds chirping and teenagers talking.
"Tell me something, Vi." Evan said suddenly.
"Like what?" Vivien asked, stopping at one of the benches. She sat down, looking up at Evan. He sat down with her.
"Like..." He thought for a moment. "Your family origins? I know Beauchรชnes come from Rennes or whatever but how did they end up in Great Britain, though I'm glad you did?"
They smiled at each other before Vivien glanced at the view in front of them. The sky was light and blue. It was cloudless. Just endless blueness.
"It's not really clear how it happened. We call her La Dame Grise in French. A Grey Lady. A Liadain. Her birth name didn't survive but her legacy did. We don't really know where she came from. She was probably an orphan. She lived before our era in the territories of today's France. She was a druid and a healer. She helped to heal people. She was good at it. She saved lives. And she fell in love. A few men asked for her hand and she always declined. Then in her village there was an epidemic of some sickness. I don't really knowโit's been ages and this story has always been told and never written down, so it might not be even close to what actually had happened. But the same few candidates kept lining at her door of her hut and the more she helped to save villagers, the more she was like a miracle in their eyes. Like a goddess. But she kept refusing to marry. She had her home in the forest. One of the men decided to crept to her hut in the middle of the night. Through the window he saw the reason why she refused to marry. She already shared a bed with someoneโa woman."
Vivien glanced at Evan meaningfully. They knew how the muggles were. Complicated. And they knew how people were. Close-minded. Envious. Hypocrites.
"I don't think I like where this is going." He said, smiling faintly
Vivien smiled just the same.
"The couple saw him in the window too. The Celtic nations were influenced by women as much as men and it was alright for a man to have male lovers but womenโthey were women. They were supposed to stay pure. He accused her of impurity. He said the sickness in the village was the gods' punishment for these women's sins. He didn't know the muggle woman was with a child. It's some ancient magic. They used some ritual, blood, and a lot of herbs to make it happen. It sounds impossible but I saw it in that cursed book when I was eleven. Just the same night, Liadain kissed her lover goodbye before the muggle woman sailed away into the sunset towards today's Ireland, you know? The Celtic tribes arrived there already a thousand years before our era. And by the other night, Liadain was gone. The villagers stoned her to death for adultery and profanity towards the gods. Soon they were all gone. It is believed Liadain's ghost followed her lover and their child to Ireland, where she wanders to this day looking for them. Others believe that, in revenge, she cursed her soul. But the gods were always spiteful. Liadain heard all these villagersโ painful weeps and she sensed their approaching doom. She began screaming after they captured her. She had to scream. She was screaming so loudly that her screams were supposed to cause the heads of all the villagers nearby to explode as her own had. She killed them all before they killed her. She became a banshee and her ghost is supposedly hunting Irishmen with her weeps."
Vivien told the story and something clicked together inside like two pieces of puzzles. She furrowed her eyebrows thoughtfully.
"Which is an interesting theory..." She lingered and Evan observed her wonder. "Because there is another family story. Have you ever met the Grey Lady of the Ravenclaw House?"
"Like Helen Ravenclaw?" He tilted his head. "I heard she exists but I've never seen her."
"Yes." Vivien nodded her head. "Even a lot of Ravenclaws have never met her. Me neither. She's a loner. Some say it's because she's very secretive and others say it's because she prefers silence. But do you know how did she die?"
"Baron killed her." He nodded his head.
"Exactly. But do you know how it all happened?"
"Rowena Revenclaw became fatally ill and she sent him to find Helena because she wanted to see her daughter one last time before dying. She thought Baron would be capable of bringing her back home since he had so much unconditional but unrequited love for her. Baron and Helena were fighting after he found her. In sudden anger, he killed her. Then out of regret, he killed himself." Evan answered.
"And do you know why Helena ran away?" Vivienโs head tilted.
"Because she was jealous of her mother's intelligence and importance. She stole her diadem when she was still in Hogwarts and ran away to Albania with it, thinking it could help her become wiser than her mother was."
Vivien pointed her finger at him.
"That's like one version. But there is another, less popular one." She started gesticulating, telling him.
"There is another one, in which Beauchรชnes believe. Rowana and Helena fought because young Helena fell in love with another girl. Genevive Beauchรชne. You know how it is between pure-blood families. It's not like with Muggles but it still isn't that acceptable to marry a person of the same gender. It is always about continuing the bloodline and there aren't really a lot of ways to do so between two people of the same gender unless you have a book about ancient magic that involves a lot of text about blood sacrifices and other things in extinct language. You can have lovers of whatever gender you want as long as they are pure-bloods but the bloodline is always the first, and love secondโif it is important at all."
With no consideration, the witch rubbed salt in Evan's wound.
"So it's unacceptable. Two girls could never continue the greatness of the Ravenclaws. So, Helena and Genevive decided to run away, where they could be free from Rowena. Before they left, they stole a diadem that was Rowena's symbol of wit. It was passed from mother to daughter. In Albania, the two lovers lived in a forest in a hut or something. They went by different last names and claimed to be sisters for their safety. But when Rowena turned out to be ill, she wanted to reunite with her daughter one last time. She sent Bloody Baron. After weeks of hunting, he found Helena alone in the hut. He tried to convince the girl, who he loved so dearly, to leave with him. He wanted her to leave Geniveve and come with him to Scotland to see her dying mother. He argued that Genevive was putting the wrong ideals and ideas in Helena's head but it wasn't too late to return with him. They began fighting and struggling with each other. Helena told him she would never love him. He got angry and threatened her with a dagger. It was an accidentโshe stumbled right into the sharp tip, fighting. She bled out in his arms. And when she was gone, he stabbed himself with the same dagger."
"Hurriedly, Genevive returned from the village but not quick enough. She was shopping for food, when she had that feeling of unease that there was something wrong. But it was too late. Genevive found Helena and Baron in a pool of blood on the wooden floor of their little hut. She came to Scotland, where she found Rowena on her death bed. What Rowena Ravenclaw couldn't suspect was to Genevive be with a child. She was pregnant and she returned the bodies of Helena and Baron to their motherland. And she passed her grief on to her daughter, Hermiona Beauchรชne, who supposedly was able to sense death. She was able to hear it. But the only way she was capable of responding was through a screamโa helpless scream of suffering, when she listened to tragedies none else could hear."
Vivien talked like she was in a hypnosis, gesticulating, explaining everything.
Only when the silence embraced Vivien and Evan after she finished telling him that story, she looked at him. He was sitting with his eyes on the ground.
And Vivien wanted to bite her tongue off realising her mistake of speaking so carelessly on such a sensitive subject as it was something that Evan was personally going through.
Born to continue a bloodline of a pure-blood family, but in love with another boy. At least the other boy was a pure-blood too! Hooray!
Vivien moved on the bench towards him.
"I am so sorry, Evan." She apologised for her thoughtlessness.
Evan looked up at her, wiping his cheek. She saw his reddened eyes, one of tears drifting down his cheek. He wasn't in the mood to ask how this muggle woman was supposed to sail on a single boat with a baby belly across the part of the ocean over nineteen centuries ago anymore.
"It's alright, Vi. To care about who I date, my parents would have to care that they have me." He chuckled bitterly before he broke into more sobs.
Vivien pulled him into a hug. She held him as he cried into her neck. She rubbed his back to bring him some comfort in the loneliness he felt trapped in.
When Vivien and Evan sat like that, something occurred to the witch. She connected the dots.
Grandma Elle caredโshe cared about fitting Beauchรชnes into the aristocracy, which we never did.
Could Vivien really be that blind? Ignore the signs? Ignore Mallory? Ignore her family stories for so long?
History always repeats itself! Beauchรชne women always were tragic lovers. So would I, and so was Manon!
Chapter 62: a wave of tears in her eyes
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne couldn't care less about exams. She knew she would pass.
Regulus noticed that since the walk she went on with Evan, the two returned even less happy than they left. Regulus knew that Evan was concerned about his and Barty's relationship. Everyone was worried about something, but Regulus had no idea what Vivien was worried about. It wasn't that she had nothing to care about or be petrified of but whenever he tried to talk about the possible reasons he thought of, she always waved her hand dismissively.
On Friday, the last day of the two weeks of exams, Vivien and Regulus, like all the other couples, finally had time for each other [even though it wasn't like the two spent any less time together than usual]. They found some private place for their little rendezvous. It was a weekend of never-ending parties for most students above the third year but the two preferred smaller parties, especially the private ones with Regulus between Vivien's widely opened legs folded to the sides. He was thrusting as her back arched. Unintentionally she pushed her breasts in his face, her fingers tangled in his curls. She was pulling them in cruel pleasure.
"Doll, you're doing so good..." She whispered under a breath. Regulus was hoping so!
The couple was in an old and unused classroom [opposite to the two teenagers], so it was obvious it was a planned rendezvous. Vivien was lying on a cozy blanket beside the small bottle of intimate oil. And the room was lit with candles floating in the air that smelled like lavender.
Regulus had checked the old classrooms for a few days to see which were freshly cleaned on Fridays. This one won the show of him and Vi making love on the ground.
Their clothes were laying everywhere, the door blocked and the room quietened. He had it planned after Evan asked him to have some privacy in the dorm after the last day of exams. It wasn't a big issue because Vi and Regulus didn't need a bed that badly. Each other was what they needed.
When they couldn't handle it anymore, Regulus collapsed on Vivien. She loosened beneath him and he did on top of her.
Cumming was nice, but it wasn't the intention of the whole little secretive rendezvous in that random classroom that Regulus planned to such a detail. He was resting in Vi's arms and she was softly caressing his back with her nails
Suddenly, he propped up on his hands, towering over her.
"Vi?"
She already had her brows pressed after her hands slipped from his back to his waist.
"Regulus?" She delicately stroked his aristocratic skin.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" He proposed.
Vivien's eyebrows eased. She smiled in the warm light.
"I would love to go on a date with you."
Regulus smiled as she cupped his face and reached his lips with hers. They never really reconsider going on dates after the first one ended so catastrophicly, causing a whole spiral of events they both wished they could forget and a circle of mistakes they both wished they could take back.
But in the end, they found their way back to each other anyway.
And they were going for a second date! Vivien wasn't really into the idea of dating but she was into the idea of going on dates with Regulus. It couldn't end worse than the first one has.
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ย ย ย ย ย After breakfast another morning, the two separated and went their own ways. Vivien visited her dorm, rather a guest in it than a roommate since most of the time she spent around Regulus lately.
"Hiiiii," Emmeline teased her.
Sybill and Pandora smirked at each other but said nothing. Vivien threw her school bag full with everything but her school books and supplies.
Her girl-friends were all happy for her, when she was beaming so brightly, leaning her arse against the footboard of her bed. She deserved that happiness after everything she had gone through.
"Regulus asked me on a date. Today. Two o'clock." Vivien tried to stop herself from hopping and squealing like the teenage girl she was.
"We paint nails?" Sybill smiled instantly, stopping to write in her diary.
Miss Beauchรชne didn't ask Miss Trelawney in a while for help with it but now she nodded her head very eagerly.
After a long, refreshing shower, Sybie did paint Vivien's nails.
Dorcas and Marlene found their way into the girls' dorm. For them all it was a lazy day after a party in the Room of Requirement before another one that evening. Upon hearing about the date Regulus and Vi had planned for that day, Cas immediately ran out of the boys' dorm and on her way in the Ravenclaw common room, she grabbed McKinnon and dragged her there back.
Cassie offered Vivien some help with her hair. Vivien didn't really think about doing something different with it, her hair too stubborn to convince to do anything else than usual. But Cassie offered to help her wave it subtly, and Vivien thanked her. She knew Cassie had to have the patience of a saint because she always had her curls nicely styled in various locs. Cassie was always elegant and the best-looking person in the room. She was a fashion iconโVivien knew she wore a lot of vibrant colours and funky cuts popular among muggle celebrities.
Vivien slipped into the dress she wore on Evan's and Rosaire's birthdays, the one with a colourful floral pattern and of middle length. She could tell Regulus liked it on her. He didn't have to ask Vivien to dress for him. She knew what he liked and she would give it to him.
Marls helped Vivien with her make-upโwith eyeliner. Vivien had shaky hands when it came to such precise activities and she never learned how to use an eyeliner. But Marlene did it for her.
Vivien felt really awkward, laying flat on her bed, Marlene straddling her hips and leaning over her. She didn't know what to do with her hands. It felt so uncomfortable. And their faces were close to each other.
After the history they shared, Vivien didn't like it. It felt too intimate. It wasn't personal but it was. Vivien knew Marlene used to like her in a more than friendly way and they did more than friends would.
Marlene had to feel Vivien tense and they both glanced into each other's eyes. Soon she focused on the wings she was drawing on her eyelids. As she got up and Vivien sat up, other girls in the room could notice how both were for a minute avoidant of facing anyone.
It was too quiet and after a minute, Vivien glanced at her friends. Her and Dorcas' squinted eyes met. A candle lit in her mind at Vivien's reddened face that had guilt written all over it. Cas looked at Marlene, who smiled tightly. And it clicked for the rest of the girls what was going on. There was a thing or two that Vivien and Marlene strictly kept between them two as a secret.
Vivien stayed quiet. Thankfully, it wasn't for too long and she completed her outfit with her jewellery, some cardigan, a shoulder bag, and Mary Janes. She sprinkled herself with her perfume.
"Don't forget the ankles." Rora giggled over her notes, sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room.
"She sprinkled her ankles for the first date she went on with Regulus." Cas elaborated for Marls in Pandora's bed and all the girls snorted.
Vivien rolled her eyes. They would never forget it, wouldn't they? To the girls' amusement, she sprinkled her ankles and giggled to herself, giddily.
"For good luck. To a better end of this second date than the first one."
"Oh, I believe the end of the first date was great. The aftermath of it wasn't. But the sprinkled ankles could come in handy today." Em commented.
"Oh, they surely do. Regulus confirmed." Aurora glanced at Emma, who was tossing in her bed the whole day, having nothing to do in her free time since the quidditch season ended.
The Ravenclaws weren't winning it that year but Marlene didn't seem to care. She liked the rivalry. It was embarrassing to be a loser but her world wasn't ending because of it.
Vivien straightened her dress in front of the cheval mirror and turned around, grinning so wide her teeth shone.
"I doubt you need the sprinkled ankles for luck today but you surely need them for something else, Vivi." Emma said honestly, the girls studying Vivien up and down.
She smiled, approaching the door.
"Wish me luck." Vivien threw at them, opening the door and leaving.
As she was closing, she heard Dorcas, "You meant Regulus, right? I think if he makes it past the Hogwarts grounds, it will be a miracle."
When Vivien was walking through the common room, she heard Alaric Clopton whistle. He was lying on one of the sofas she was passing, reading a book but it dropped to his chest, his eyes following Vivien.
"Hi Alaric," She turned around, walking backwards to wave her hand at him, a toothy grin plastered on her face.
"Hi foxy. I see we're going for a hunt today." He joked.
"Wish me luck." She replied, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.
"I wish Black luck because whatever you're up to today, he's not going to resist you and your ideas."
"I'm not up to anything." Vivien claimed innocently.
"Reconsider then, because if you have any enemies, he's going to be willing to kill them with bare hands today."
Regulus would be willing to kill my enemies every day. Vivien turned away, tittering to herself.
Truly, she had to look spectacular.
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus agreed! Although he stood at the fountain like he stood the last time they had gone on a date, he was much more nonchalant and confident now. He knew Vi would show. And he knew that date wouldn't go into shite, no matter how far from his depths he would make a confession that day.
But when he saw Vivien taking her graceful steps towards him, her hips flowing like waves, students taking glances at her, he thought he was about to collapse. His legs turned that weak. He admired the new confidence he saw on Vivien that she wore latelyโeveryone saw she was more secure.
Regulus was making Vi more secure when he was there to support her through anything and everything.
Since the trial, Vivien had played with her new style and old style. Sometimes she expressed herself with her small skirts, and other times with her trousers. On some days, she slipped into tight shirts, and on others, she hid in a jumper.
And he loved her however she felt. But that day she was truly blooming.
Regulus was making Vivien blossom and she smiled the cutest as soon as she saw him. She looked different that day. She looked so subtly but so breath-taking. She looked feminine but elegant even with in the lively colours. The closer she came, the more Regulus saw details of her look. She wore her hair loosely that waved delicately on the spring breeze. And she had prominent black eyeliner and mascara that made her green eyes absolutely stand out.
She didnโt look like a teenage girl but a young womanโgraceful and majestic, not shy and lowly, hiding herself from the world. She faced the world boldly like it was meant for her, like the path of Hogwarts ground was made specially for her. She was a young woman and everyone saw it.
And that sweet Vi approached none other than Regulus Arcturus Black. She laid her hands on Regulus' waist as he stood hypnotised with his hands shoved into his pockets. He was so stupefied to see her that he forgot to act human-like and reactโblink at least.
"Hi," She licked her full lips.
Finally Regulus blinked, his eyes flickering friskily on her.
"Vi, if all of these people won't stop glancing at you, I think I might need to change you." He whispered, leaning to her height.
They kissed slowly and deeply, their lips swimming together, smiling against each other's lips.
"From what I gathered, everyone wishes you luck, doll." Vivien said as they parted.
She hooked her arm on his.
"I'm a gentleman. When did I gain such a poor reputation?" He glanced at Vi, slowly strolling away from the fountain.
"You are gentle and you are turning into a man-" Vivien caused Regulus to squint his eyes at her sharply. "But I wouldn't say you're a gentleman. The last few weeks have lowered your standards, Regulus."
"How so?"
"You know. The bathroom, the Detention Chamber, the empty classrooms, the empty corridor, the Shrieking Shack." Vivien counted, her eyelashes directed at Regulus, long and thick. "Some may say you became shameless. You're not a prude anymore. You're my little whore, now."
They chuckled, one even cockier than the other.
"I've been working hard for the title since September."
"I can tell."
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ย ย ย ย ย Surprisingly, Regulus walked Vivien straight to the same cute tea shop that they went to on their first date. But now it was all free. Vivien entered it hesitantly. In the middle of the room stood just a single round table with two chairs on sides of it. Everything else was like beforeโfrilly, pink, and green. Everythingโs a bit too much but Vivien liked that too much. And on the long counter stood a lot of different baked goods. She glanced at Regulus, brushing her hair behind her ear. He entered the room and saw how she had her eyebrows furrowed.
"Where are the other couples?" She asked, her head tilting in concern.
"Not here. I wrote a letter, I paid, and I have it allโonly the two of us for you." Regulus smirked.
"What happened to Miss Baker?"
"She's upstairs at hers. I think she's ill."
Vivien looked at the ceiling and back at Regulus, taking a step closer to him.
"Does she need help?" She asked, lowering her voice.
"Financial, I guess. I offered her a nice sum and she can rest today."
Vivien smiled sweetly, melting down from Regulusโ warmth.
"You paid for all of it just for me?" Her eyes sparkled gold after she pointed at all the baked goods.
"I'm ashamed to admit that's just all I paid for you, Vi. You deserve more than just this." Regulus claimed, cupping the side of Vivien's face.
She softened. She completely melted under his warmth, when they were gazing into each otherโs eyes, their eyes flickering, their pupils dilating.
"Vi, I love you more than life."
"And I hate you less than life, Regulus Arcturus fucking Black."
Regulus leaned lower towards Vivien, smirking cockily at her words.
"I don't remember having the third name."
"Now, you have."
"Now I have." He agreed, gently connecting their lips.
Vivien's arms travelled to his chest and his trailed off to her waist.
Once they broke apart, Regulus joked, "If you want to, we can close the curtains."
Vivien hit him in the chest, scandalised.
"Regulus, you actually ruined the moment." She whined.
"Sorry, sorry." He said, kissing her again to fix it and recreate it.
When he pulled away, she kept talking, "I'm not going to let you undress me when Miss Baker's resting up there, old, tired, and sick."
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ย ย ย ย ย Regulus worked hard to regain his gentlemanly reputation, holding the chair for Vivien. He was handing her different baked goods and he made her tea. The only moment he let Vivien stand up was as she needed to use the bathroom. Still he helped her with her chair.
They were savouring different cakes in a nice atmosphere. Some villagers and students peeked through the window sometimes.
Vivien was offering Regulus different cakes and he was nicely eating them off her spoon. She appeared pleased with her cute smile. All he wanted was for her to be that. It seemed she was in quite a good mood, the atmosphere light as a feather. After Regulus took another spoonful, Vivien was digging a spoon into the cake for another bite for him.
He studied her.
"Vi, I don't really know about your plans after school. What would you like to be after we graduate?" He asked, intrigued.
She snorted, gazing away from the cake at Regulus.
"Alive. Kind perhaps. With you." She bit on her bottom lip.
Regulus smiled, but somewhat it was a sad manner.
"I meant career. What will I introduce my beautiful girl as? Journalist? Painter? Healer? " He suggested.
Vivien placed down the spoonful she prepared for Regulus and sighed, "I never really consider a career."
"Why not? You're of many talents." Regulus pursued.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders. She felt her stomach flip but not from too much sugar. Regulus saw how Vivien looked down from him to his plate with a numb stare. She hid her hands under the table and Regulus could hear her knuckles crack. She was getting nervous for some reason.
He put his hands over his plate. "What would you like to do after N.E.W.T.s then, Vi?"
"Nothing." She answered silently.
Regulus wasn't getting frustrated but rather concerned and saddened.
"Vi, you have to have some plans? Or dreams? Goals you want to achieve after school?"
Vivien smiled, staring at the plate. She shook her head. "No. Not really."
Regulus could see how her eyes twitched. She blinked away tears.
"What do you mean, Vi?"
"I mean I have nothing like this, Regulus." She argued quietly.
"How come?"
Vivien put her hand over her faceโover her eyes as she tried to hide from Regulus. As if to stop him from reading her. Still, he saw the tear that rolled down her cheek and dropped on the piece of cake.
"Because I never considered I would live long enough to finish school."
The future was a very sensitive subject for Vivien. She tried her best to mask how she really felt about her future for the longest time but now Regulus was asking about it so carelessly, unknowingly rubbing salt in her wound even if he didn't mean to.
Regulus never realised how meaningless Vivien felt. In the end, he stood up to close the curtains but for a different reason than he had suggested. Vivien felt Regulus approach her after he closed the curtains, the room becoming quite pink because of the pink curtains. Regulus kneeled down beside Vi's chair.
"Hi," She heard his gentle tone. She opened her fingers to look at him through the gaps. "It's alright to be lost, Vi."
"I'm not lost, Regulus. I just always knew I would die young." She chuckled bitterly for it to turn into a sob. She broke down.
Regulus grasped her wrist, pulling the hand of her face softly. He took the hand in his, caressing her skin.
"Is it what has been bothering you lately? Vi, do you think you will die by the end of the next year or hope for it?" He asked, his chest hurting and his heart aching. Was she really considering such an option?
Vivien felt her throat hurt, while a painful lump formed in there. She took a deep breath, tears swimming down her cheeks against her will.
"No. You're right. I'm-I am lost because I am closer to the age I never thought I would make it to. And I don't know what to do because I never made plans and never had dreams. And at the same time, I'm petrified that I did bring that death with me and I'm going to die now that I have this passion for life. It would be ironic like my whole life is, wouldn't it?"
She looked down at Regulus sadly, her eyes looking like cracked glass.
"But at the same time school is all I know and I don't know how I will navigate my life outside of it when that's what I've been doing for the past six years. I don't know if I want a job and if I am capable of keeping one. If I am capable of such commitments as all of you are. All I do is listen to how others take responsibilities I would never even consider. Job, marriage. And it's not because of the gold spoon in my mouthโall I do is for my brothers so they can achieve their dreams. I know they actually have it. Eden already knows he wants to be a magizoologist. Teddy wants to go out with Hestia and he wants to master transfiguration. Rosie imagines he dates Kingsley. He wants to sign up for Divination and Ancient Runes. Ambrosie wants to travelโhe wants to be an auror for Merlin knows what reason. He wants to marry Freya and maybe even have a family with her. And I used to have nothing like this. My brothers used to be my dreams. Healthy and safe." She wept, her stomach hurting pitifully.
Regulus smiled warmly, bringing some comfort to Vi.
"Used to be?" She laid her smaller hand on his cheek, drawing her thumb on the shadow of his dimple.
"Now you are my dream, Regulus. I want you and I don't want to disappoint you but I know I do and that I will."
"You could never disappoint me, my beautifullest."
"But I will. I already do. You wanted to hear how we would travel the world together on a broom, taste different food, see different countrysides, and smell different flowers. But the truth is, all I want to do is own some small cottage with a small backyard somewhere quiet, adopt pets, and wake to your smile, and fall asleep to your snores. I want a simple predictable life. I want to be with you in that small house and that would be enough for me with no bigger commitments like careersโonly those pets. But it's not for you."
Vivien never really thought about what her future with Regulus would be but as she came with this idea on the spot, she really liked that vision. A small house somewhere away from people, with a small backyard, two big dogs, and one small cat. No worries, only Regulus.
"I don't even know if I care to marry you, and I don't mean it as a bad thing. I don't need a ring and a big celebration to spend the rest of my life with you, Regulus." She confessed, not wanting Regulus in her future but wanting him to be her future.
The two gazed into each other's eyes as Vivien shared her thoughts, sobbing.
"For me life seems like a game, you know, Regulus? There are rules and it seems everyone got their instructionsโbut me. And I have to play a game I don't fully understand. I feel like a child in a mist. Lost. And the rules are not clear to me and the more I learn of them, the less it all makes sense but I am expected to play according to them like they are logical, when they rarely ever are. And it feels so isolating when everyone in this world and I mean everyone is in this inner circle for people who know these secretive rules and I'm standing outside of the circle on my own. It feels like you all had this one part you were born with that I'm lacking and I don't understand why I didn't get it. What could I possibly do before I was even born to be punished so badly?"
"I know you still struggle through life with problems I don't have. Evan, Pandora, Dorcas, Barty, Marlene, and anyone I have ever met. I know you all have your issues. But even on your worst days, you are way closer to normality than I ever will be on my best ones. To me life feels like Binns' exams feel for all of you. It's absurd. The expectation doesn't make sense. They are illogical and therefore too high. I don't understand people and I don't want to. I don't want to interact with people. There is something wrong with my brain and it will never be fixed and I will never fit in anywhere. Do you understand? It feels like there will always be something at work inside of me but it will never end because there is this one part missing to finish the job. It's like the Sisyphean task.ย I will fathom this rule, accept it, and adapt to it the best I can and on top of this one rule, two more appear. And it happens every time throughout my entire life. And it was always a struggle and perhaps I hoped this struggle would end quickly. I used to hope for that but I don't anymore. Because you give me that comfort in life I never knew it existed, was real, or could be achieved. And I wish for this security with you to last forever, Regulus. Not until school ends, or-or until war and this fake marriage-to-not-be ends."
Regulus was melting, literally already on the floor. Vivien opened up to him. He understood what she was saying but he knew he would never really understand the concept of her struggle. And he knew she wasn't really expecting that from him. She wanted him to know that despite all that suffering, he was her biggest comfort. He was her only comfort but he was giving her more than another hundreds of people could. Acceptanceโa chance. She appreciated him so deeply for that. She wanted to spend her life with him for that. She wanted to share her life with him.
The silence was getting the worst of Vivien as she and Regulus studied one another. He doesn't know what to say, does he? Vivien felt her stomach twist. Was it possible she ruined the second date more than the first one? Is it even doable?
"And I will understand if it is too much for you."
Regulus saw how Vivien hesitated, a new wave of tears in her eyes that she tried to stop from drifting. She wiped her eyes, sniffing.
"I know we are still very young and I'm sorryโI didn't mean to burden you as much, if that's not what you want-" She gesticulated, taking her hand away from Regulus. "Or if you are not certain what you want yet. I'm sorry. It was all so unneeded from me."
Regulus' heart ached, realising Vivien misread his surprise as a shock. Scare. She thought she scared him out and he was about to reject her for opening up to him too much. His silence caused her to regret her proclamation of love and everything else.
As soon as Vivien's hand left his, Regulus grasped it again. He placed her hand to his lips and kissed it.
Vivien sobbed when Regulus straightened away from her, thinking he was about to leave her alone. But he pulled her to her feet. And when she stood up too, he went on his knee in front of her, holding her hand.
Vivien had to squint her eyes to sharpen her blurry vision and make sure she wasn't losing her mind.
"Vivien Mallory Beauchรชne, will you spend the rest of our simple predictable life in our small house with a small backyard in the middle of nowhere with a few pets but without other commitments and with no parties and no rings, but only with me, your Regulus Arcturus Stupidulus fucking Black?" He stroked her delicate petal-soft skin.
Vivien sucked her belly in, listening to his question. She wasn't right in her mind, was she?
"Are you-are you proposing to me, Regulus?" She furrowed her eyebrows, lost.
Regulus smiled with his dimples. "Only if you agree, Vi."
"I don't have a bra on." Vivien snorted through her tears.
"And I know."
"I don't have panties on either."
Regulus squinted his eyes to detect her lie off of her. "You're lying, Vi."
Vivien squinted her eyes playfully too, looking at him. "Am I?"
"This isn't an answer."
"You weren't asking."
"Can I take it as yes then?"
Vivien bent down to his height, lying her free hand on one of his dimples. She drew her finger on it, leaning towards Regulus' lips.
"Yes, please." She answered between small kisses they shared. Regulus peeled away.
"I'm glad we agree. Vi, you could never disappoint me. You are the meaning of my lifeโwithout you, this isn't life. This would be only agony. And I'm sorry that you felt so isolated and trapped in life that you saw a way of escaping in death. With me, you don't have to care that much ever again."
The witch smiled with her pinkish and puffy cheeks.
"I love you, Regulus."
"And I love you, Vi." Vivien kept leaning to Regulus and it was stronger than him to peek lower at the new companion.
"Vi, you said you wouldn't let me undress you in here but it seems I don't have to."
"They're out?"
"Yh-ym," Vivien straightened, correcting the top of her dress, her breasts anywhere but in it. Regulus stood up to help her. Together, they nicely hid Vivien's breasts where they were supposed to be.
"Thank you, my love." Vivien kissed Regulus on the cheek.
He laid his hands on her waist, and they moved together. He sat down in his chair and she sat down on his laps, his arms holding her closely.
"I almost forgotโฆ I think Manon is lesbian, Mallory was her lover, and Voldemort thinks I could predict his upcoming death if it happened."
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ย ย ย ย ย On Sunday afternoon, Vivien sat with Evan in Potions classroom. Professor Slughorn had visited Evan to give him a chance to retake his Potions' exam.
And it seemed everyone else gave up on Evan but Vivien. He had poor concentration and he was barely passing most of his advanced classes.
"I'm gonna fail." He grumbled, his cheek pressed into his hand. "I'm lucky Slughorn feels sorry for me."
"No, you won't. I won't let you, Evan." Vivien smiled, preparing their worktable.
"After O.W.L.s, everyone is done with me for good."
"They are not doneโthey don't have enough patience anymore."
"So they are done."
"Yeah," Vivien nodded her head, looking and smiling at Evan thoughtlessly like the airhead she was.
And he was doubtful about her efforts and methods. When she was instructing him on how to brew Draught of Living Death, Memory Potion, and Potion for Dreamless Sleep, she kept talking.
"So how is Divination going? How did your exams go?"
She would ask and he would answer. But Vivien's every question would be replaced with another one.
"What about Astronomy?"
"History of Magic?"
"Transfiguration? Charms?"
"Defence against Dark Arts?"
"And what about-"
Evan groaned, "Vi, I really don't mean to be rude, but how will these questions help me?"
He glanced at the witch, who sat across their worktable.
"Why do I even need to do a Memory Potion and the one for Dreamless Sleep?" He pointed at two potions that were cooling down. "Slughorn said he would ask me for a Draught of Living Death or Amortentia." He reminded her, irritated.
"Let's check." Vivien said mysteriously to Evan's confusion. She stood up and came closer to him, peeping between three different cauldrons they borrowed from Slughorn's supply room. With Professor Slughorn's permission of course!
She looked closely at the different potions Evan brewed.
"So here, you have the perfect Memory Potion if you want a little help to remember better but I don't think you need it in the end. Here, you have a great quality potion for good sleep. And here you have an excellent Draught of Living Death." She pointed her finger between the three cauldrons.
In disbelief, Evan looked closely between all the three potions, squinting his eyes suspiciously. He looked between Vivien and the potions.
"Did you pour Felix Felicis into my tea during breakfast?"
"No." Vivien kept grinning.
"But how-" Evan looked at the potions again, his eyebrows furrowing. "How did I brew it?"
"With your own hands." She giggled.
He glanced at her. Before she could react, he caught her in arms, the ground under her feet disappearing. He hugged her tightly like a cuddly toy.
"I love you, Vivien."
"I love you too, Evan."
Later, Vivien told Evan, "I just think you have better memory when you work manually. Some parts of your brain need stimulation, other parts working perfectly when your whole brain is in action. Just make some small talk with Slughorn, and you will take his job next year."
"Did you talk to him during your practical exam?"
"No, I talked to myself." She said during break before Evan's final test. Amortentia. They sat on two chairs in harmony, swinging their feet like two children.
"So what about Muggle Studies?" Vivien continued the last topic.
"I think this one I might actually pass." Evan admitted quietly with a small smile.
"Don't be so humble. I know you will pass it at the top of the class." Vivien protested at his humility.
"Yeah," He agreed and they snorted.
After a second of silence, Vivien furrowed her eyebrows thinking out loud, "I don't mean to be judgy but why did you even sign up for Muggle Studies, Evan? Like back in the third year."
Evan looked away from her. He straightened in his seat awkwardly.
"You can be judgy about it. That's what I wanted to be at least." He glanced at Vivien, regretful and guilty.
She tilted her head, listening.
"So you remember when me and Reg used to hang out with Carrows, young Parkinson, Avery, Mulciber, and a few other arselickers before Pandora snatched us from that company?"
Vivien nodded her head.
"It was at the end of the second year, when we all began thinking about next year. Mulciber and Carrow kept saying how they would sign up for so-called Parasite Studies to disturb all the blood-traitors. I kind of joined them on it. I wanted them to like me. So when we got the documents to fill in, I wrote down Muggle Studies. My parents still haven't noticed. In the first week of the third year, Mulciber and Carrow kept cheering on the idea. Even in the morning of the first Muggle Studies class, they kept cheering that we would sweep all the blood-traitors from the Hogwarts grounds but when I came for class after breakfast, imagine how surprised I was to see there were none of my friends there. They never planned on signing up. They kind of tricked me as a joke, you know?" He spoke quietly, embarrassed by how he used to be.
Even though the story Evan told Vivien was disgusting, she felt bad for him and Regulus. They were bad children. But they were never really given the chance to be good. They were raised to be corrupted.
Still, they tried to outgrow other pure-bloods after all. And she felt bad because Evan was so desperate to fit in and all he used to be was the butt of all the jokes, and his parents didn't even care how he was treated.
"But you didn't try to resign?"
"Oh, I did." He assured. "After the first class I spent in the darkest corner of the classroom, when I felt everyone glancing at me, I went to McGonagall. After she asked me why I chose the class in the first place, I realised how stupid and brutal what I wanted to do was and I couldn't tell her that. When she saw my shame, she encouraged me to stay for a few more classes. Then if I still didn't like the course, we would try to look for another match for me. And by the second class, I had my mind fucking blown."
Vivien and Evan laughed. "And I don't mean that I am a muggle lover or something but they impress me, Vi. They don't have the same abilities as we do but they made it to here and now anyway. And they are making it out alive the whole time. They are so creative. They don't have the things we have but because of that they can think of things we would never think of." Evan gesticulated.
"I know."
"Like I wish I had this weird ground to play on, the muggle kids do. Like the one in the park-"
"In front of Regulus' home. I wish I had it too. It was the coolest thing I've ever played with."
"Exactly."
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ย ย ย ย ย By Amortentia, Vivien had no worry about Evan brewing it. He was stirring it with a ladle and the whole classroom smelled like Regulus, fresh laundry, and lavender.
"What do you smell in it?" Vivien asked curiously.
Evan smirked rudely, snickering, "Regulus' perfumes, Regulus' fresh laundry, and lavender. You?"
Vivien rolled her eyes. "So funny."
"Coffee." Even though it was telling, he confessed it without shame.
Coffee, Vivien smirked meaningfully, knowing someone who liked coffee to the extremes like coffee cake.
"So how's things going between you and Barty?" They glanced at each other.
Evan half-smiled, "Great, dare I say? I'm planning on asking him to be my boyfriend soon. For now, it feels like we are kind of off on this chaseโwho will make the move? I think it will be me."
Vivien grinned foolishly, "So, how's Barty?" She wiggled her eyebrows, but Evan didnโt notice.
"I think he's doing fine, why?" His brows knitted together in worry.
Vivien snorted.
"I know he's fine. I'm asking you how he is you know...?" She emphasised, wiggling her eyebrows more in a silly way.
"In bed?"
She nodded, "Yeah. If he's a good boy-toy?"
"I think if he wasn't, I wouldn't consider asking him to be more than that, would I?" Evan quirked an eyebrow.
"True but it still doesn't answer my question. Is he rough or more delicate despite all the odds? Is he like what it is called..." She took a second to recall the words. "Oh, is he more dominant or submissive?"
"How's Regulus?" Evan asked, challenging Vi.
They never really got into such details despite the big mouths they both had.
Vivien blushed, lowering her face, avoiding Evan's eyes. He leaned to her height across the worktable, squinting his eyes.
"You know." Her voice barely above a whisper.
"No, I actually don't. Don't take it the wrong way but from Regulus, I know you have pussy worth dying for. But he doesn't tell me if his cock is worth dying on." She glanced at him shyly.
"Regulus is great in bed."
"Vi, if you want details, you have to give me some more than what I already know."
Vivien gazed into Evan's eyes, biting on her bottom lip. She sucked her belly in. Whenever she thought about making love with Regulus, she felt it as well. She felt himโhis warm body, his slim fingers, his soft fingertips, his wet tongue, and his greedy lips. She cleared her throat, not trying to get carried away with her imagination in front of poor Evan.
"Usually, I'm the one deciding what we are doing and he is the one accepting it. But sometimes we switch and he tries to act tough." Vivien confessed, her cheeks burning.
Evan kind of knew it from Edgarโthat Vivien liked to go mad with her partner and needed a partner, who would let her.
"Tries to?" He specified.
She nodded her head again and again.
"But even when he's tough, he's still gentle and passionate. Intimacy is never empty with him. It feels that whenever we connect Regulus's longing for it as if it was something we did for the first time. Regulus's different from other boysโhe's careful with meโnot overly sugary either. He feels correct. Like I found the person who was created to be here with me forever until the world falls apart. And he has the longest cock I've seen. Would I like to die on it? I don't know but I know I would like to ride it on my deathbed. The last thing worth doing before dying."
Evan cracked, so did Vivien, unable to keep her mask for too long.
"Fine!" He exclaimed before quieting down. "Barty likes it rough. I mean he's softโbut he likes to be bitten, spanked-"
"Perhaps Regulus and Barty are consulting on it?" Vivien murmured under her nose.
Evan quirked an eyebrow, surprised. Obviously, by then he had seen that Regulus liked to be bitten but spanking was news to him. Still, he continued,
"He likes this to be put in his place. He likes to be overpowered in a safe sense, you know?" He clarified, not wanting Vivien to be left with distaste in her mouth since he knew how it could soundโespecially to someone with such experience as hers.
She nodded her head in understanding.
"He kind of experiments with sex, and it's all new to me as a freshly-made slut and not-anymore virgin. But I'm totally up to exploring these different things. With Barty." Evan added at last meaningfully.
Vivien smiled, warmed. With Barty, and with Barty only, was his message.
"He makes it feel safe. I kind of want to ask him out for something like a date I guess and then ask him the question." Evan finished.
Vivien leaned on the table, sitting on her heels in the chair. She held her hands out for him. He accepted the gesture.
"I'm glad you two are working out, Evan."
"And I'm glad you and Regulus are finally working out."
"Oh, I am thankful for that as wellโyou don't even know how much." Vivien beamed immediately. She smiled brightly and lightly. It was sincerely the happiest Evan had ever seen herโalways when Regulus was mentioned.
"What do you mean?" He tilted his head, squeezing her small hands in his big ones.
Vivien felt so nervous but thrilled to tell Evan after she didnโt brag after her and Regulusโ date when they returned to Evan in a shitty mood because Slughorn had visited him to tell him he sucked.
"Regulus kind of proposed to me yesterday."
"What?" Evan straightened, startled.
Oh. Vivien's happiness shrank. Is he not happy? She slightly furrowed her eyebrows and took her hands away.
"He asked me about my plans for the future. I told him the truth: I want it simple and him in it. He didn't really have any ring nor did I want him to but he went on his knee and asked me to share that simple future with him." She said slowly, watchful of Evan and his strange reaction.
Evan didn't notice that he accidentally made Vivien disappointed by how he expressed his shock. And he only made it worse.
"But you two are so young? What about that arranged engagement? What will you do if it turns out to be an arranged marriage in the end?"
Evan didn't mean it negatively. He was impressed with how mature and serious Vi and Regulus were about each other! He didn't expect it to be otherwise but it was strange to hear it out loud. He wasn't judging the two for how they were coping and handling such a sensitive subject as the feelings they had for each other in such a shitty situation.
"It feels like just yesterday you were showing his middle finger across the classroom."
But Vivien [mis]read his shock the opposite way.
Are we too young?
Maybe I already got carried away with Regulus?
Are we taking too many big steps too quickly?
She slowly regretted her words even after Regulus didn't reject her feelings.
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ย ย ย ย ย After high-spirited Evan and low-hearted Vivien entered the Slytherin common room, Regulus, Dorcas, Pandora, and Barty could easily read from the witch that she was not feeling as great as she had felt before lunch. At first, they thought she was tired because of Evan but she assured them that teaching Evan potions was easier than teaching puffskeins to stop them from licking each other's arses.
Vivien kissed Regulus on the lips but it was quicker than usual. Their lips barely met, when she was already parting with a fake small smile.
Vivien excused herself to the boys' dormitory for a bath, and Regulus knew something was wrong. They all asked Evan what was wrong. Confused, with his eyebrows raised, he asked his friends if something was wrongโhe had been bragging about how fantastic teacher Vivien was. Where did they get the idea that something was wrong? Evan didn't take hints.
After some time in the armchair, Regulus excused himself and followed Vivien's steps into his dorm. In his room, on his bed laid her thingsโher school bag. He passed his bed and stopped in front of the bathroom door to knock on it softly. He heard how quiet it was.
"Come in," He heard Vivien's weak voice.
Regulus slowly opened the door, sneaking inside. Vivien sat in the bathtub, curled in one corner, hugging herself tightly. She was deep in her thoughts and Regulus could tell she wasn't crying but the tension in the bathroom told him she wanted to.
"How are you, Vi?" He initiated.
She shrugged her shoulders as a response.
Regulus sighed, and came closer. He crouched down, Vivien in the other corner.
She glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes, her face was a little too empty after Regulus stopped her from dwelling with herself on some matter. He dipped his fingers in water, then splashed it on Vivien's face as a punishment for holding on to that bad habit. She kept her eyes squinted as she sat guarded instead of opening up.
"That's not an answer and you know it, Vi. What is going on?" Regulus pursued.
And Vivien knew he was right. They needed to talk if she had those doubts. She shifted to the other side where Regulus waited for her. He saw her chewing on her bottom lip the whole time. He wanted to lean towards her and kiss her bloody lips to stop another bad habit she had but she stopped him halfway through.
"Are we going too fast, Regulus?" She glanced at him, uncertain if she had the courage to ask him, looking into his eyes directly.
The questions caused an ache to Regulus' heart. Did Vi had doubts? After yesterday? Did she change her mind? Did she want to take back her words, and for him to take back his words, when he would never?!
"Are we even doing the right thing? Getting together, when our lives are even more on the line than our feelings are?"
Regulus laid his arms on the edge of the bathtub, resting his chin on his hands.
"Do you feel like we are going too fast, Vi?" He mumbled out, studying Vivien who was on her own edge.
"I'm asking you, Regulus."
Had she taken some steps towards their future afraid that if she didn't, she would lose him now? Regulus didn't expect Vivien to already plan what they were after Hogwarts but she announced that she knew she would like to share a house with him, so her life. Had she done it out of some expectation she thought he set up high for her?!
"I am not the one starting such a conversation therefore no, I don't feel I'm taking steps I'm not ready to already take. Do you, Vi?"
Vivien heard the raw coldness of Regulus' voice, the rest of him frozen cool.
Did I take a lot of big steps very quickly? Yes. Vivien was impulsive and she got carried away easily with her feelings for Regulus, working together with him on their relationship. But her impulses always came from the depths of her. She wasn't lyingโshe wanted Regulus close to her forever. She wanted to spend every day with him until their last one.
Regulus' stomach flipped the more seconds dragged in silence. Vivien's eyes ran away from him to the surface of water, under which he could see her bare body.
Finally, a minute later, she faced him again. She pulled out her hand to softly stroke his cheek with her fingers.
"No. I don't regret a single step we took, Regulus. But what if we are too blinded by our feelings to really see what we are doing?" Regulus felt the weight of his shoulder drop.
He melted against Vivien's fingers.
"We probably are but that doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do. Vi, we are not the first two people to fall in love and have our feelings reciprocated. It's not the end of the world." He claimed.
"But what if it is?" Vivien's eyebrows softened in sadness.
Regulus took her hand into his, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. She felt him caress it with his thumb.
"Vi, where are these worries coming from? Did someone tell you something since yesterday?"
Vivien nodded her head innocently.
"Evan did. Rather asked. I told him about your proposal and he asked if it's not too soon."
"Did he?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow, doubtful.
"Not exactly in these words but-"
Regulus subtly interrupted her. "Are you sure that's what he meant, Vi?"
He doubted that it was Evan's intention to insinuate to Vivien such a thing and cause her to have such concerns about their relationships. Evan would never backstab Regulus and go around his back, suggesting such things.
"I think so." Vivien didnโt. She depended on her friends' opinions but she never considered to misunderstand them. She was only worried that maybe she was wrong with Regulus, and Evan was right.
We are youngโฆ Young... Not too young!
Regulus observed how Vivien groaned, throwing her head before it landed against the bathtub.
"I'm sorry." She said, her eyes closed.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad that you had something on your mind and shared it with me." She heard Regulus assure her. She opened her eyes, directing them at him.
"You're not mad?"
Regulus shook his head.
"No. Vi, I know we are still establishing grounds of our relationships and at the same time we are making big decisions, and if you just want to stop before some steps and take some more time before taking it, I prefer to do that than have you making decisions you're not ready to make just because you're horrified to lose me. You will never lose me, Vi. And yes, that's a threat."
Regulus smiled, Vivien did too.
"Okay," She was smiling so cutely. "Do you want to join me?" She asked after a moment of silence.
Regulus' eyes travelled from Vivien's face down her body.
"Merlin, I thought you wouldn't ask." He straightened, hurriedly pulling the jumper over his head.
Vivien liked that no matter how much Regulus got of her, he would never get enough of her. She liked how he admired her body like it was for the first timeโlike he did it back on the Astronomy Tower over a year before, when he was imagining what she was hiding under her dress only to taste it, feel it, and touch it.
Chapter 63: joyeux anniversaire, regulus
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Vivien treated Regulus like a prince. Dorcas laughed claiming he was her princess, and Vi wore trousers in their relationship. Regulus didn't care whatever anyone else thought. Maybe she wore them, so what? He wore them too. They were equals.
Vivien tried to match Regulus' attitude and give him the most special treatment on his birthday. Regulus had dรฉjร vu, waking with Vivien's lips on his chest. She kissed one by one of his ribs with her wet and soft lips. He looked at Evan's bed that was made untouched. And suspiciously, their dormitory smelled like lavender!
Vivien smiled against Regulus' skin after he pulled his jumper up, uncovering her.
"Are you having fun, Vi?"
Vivien straightened as she moved forward on Regulus. She nodded her head with a smooth smirk. "Yeah,"
Her whole weight shifted on Regulus, and her bum pressed against himโhis morning erection. They both gazed at each other. Regulus felt Vivien subtly move her hips to a better angle against him. It was an invitation for him to take her on a morning ride if he wanted to. Of course he wanted Vivien to ride him! Did she even have to question that?
After their morning exercises, Regulus cuddled with Vivien. He played with her breast, his cheek on her shoulder. She was caressing his back. After some time, they changed positions. Regulus turned on his back, and Vivien rolled after him, resting on her belly against his side. They were facing each other, smiling. Vivien smiled cutely with her nose crinkling, and Regulus couldn't believe how lucky he was in that undeserving ugly world when the beautifullest girl in the world laid bare by his side, beaming so radiantly because of him after they shared such intimate moments. He reached out his hand and brushed her hair behind her ear, studying her face.
"Rapproche-toi, ma moitiรฉ." He whispered.
Vivien moved towards him, pushing herself even closer to him, their eyes never leaving each other.
"Tu es l'amour de ma vie, Regulus. Je veux รชtre avec toi pour toujours. Je ne peux pas vivre sans toi. J'ai besoin de toi. J'ai envie de toi. Je t'adore. Je t'aime de tout mon coeur. Je t'aimerai pour toujours. Prends-moi dans tes bras. Embrasse-moi comme tu m'aimes, ma poupรฉe." She whispered. It was the most Regulus had ever heard Vi speak French. And he did as she asked.
He dug an arm under her body. He felt her suck her belly in, when he hooked his hand on her waist pulling her into his arms on top of him. They sat up. Vivien landed on her bum on the mattress between Regulus' legs. He laid his hand on her cheek. She had these innocent eyes. And they were sincere because her words were pure and genuine. She meant them.
Vi and Regulus gazed so intensely and hungrily at each other despite how greedy they had had consumed each other minutes before. But it was a different starvation. A different need. Regulus saw how Vivien's throat moved as she swallowed the lump. He knew how much it cost her to open up about her feelings every time. He wouldn't let her down. He connected their lips, feeling her hands on his chest. He kissed her, showing how he loved her. Passionately. His hands rested on the small of her back, delicately holding her close to him. Their lips parted but their foreheads stayed against each other and their hot breaths mixed.
"Joyeux anniversaire, Regulus." Vivien murmured smiling softly, his fingers stroking her back.
He smiled too.
"Happy birthday, Regulus." He repeated to himself.
He couldn't possibly have a happier birthday than his seventeenth one, so happy he could die.
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ย ย ย ย ย It was only the beginning. Vivien wasn't unsophisticated, offering Regulus her body as a gift for his birthday. She loved him every day of the year, therefore they could make love every other day or just every day. She simply wanted to connect with him and he simply desired the same.
After a pleasant morning in bed, Vivien prepared a bath for Regulus. Of course Regulus invited Vivien into it.
If pulling someone by their hips into a bathtub and thankfully catching them securely without killing them by causing them to smash their head on the tiles or break their back and neck against the bathtub was a form of invitation.
Vivien glanced at Regulus, her bare legs sticking out of the bathtub. She was still in his jumper, getting icky with how water made the material feel. She stared at him. He kissed her on the cheek with a self-satisfied smile.
"You ruined it," She muttered, water splashed on the tiles with the bubbles and petals. Vivien wanted to set the atmosphere for Regulus with this and candles that were burning, adding more warmth to the room. But Regulus had to be a boy and do what boys do bestโruin the moment.
She felt Regulus' hands snuck under the wet jumper that stuck to her back. Vivien folded her arms over her chest.
"No, I fixed it." He assured her, looking at her side. Stubbornly, she ignored his eyes, looking away.
"I will clean it, Vi. I promise." He swore after a minute of rocking her on his laps to make her feel better.
"Yes. Yes, you will." Vivien narrowed her eyes, directing them at Regulus pointedly like two arrows. But it's his birthday?! "No, I will." She said, arguing with herself. "Yes, I will clean it, and you will watch me do it."
Regulus chuckled.
"You know what, Regulus? Do what you want!" Vivien didn't want to clean it. It wasn't her mess. Regulus did it!
What did Vivien want him to do?! She wanted him to bathe on his own! On his birthday?! What fun would that be?
It took Regulus' a few neck kisses to get Vivien out of her anger and his wet jumper. But in the end, she joined him, splashing her hands delicately in the water.
"I hate you." She mumbled happily after he hugged her from the back.
Vi rested in Regulus' arms, the back of her head against his shoulder. He saw her eyes close and he did the same, smiling to himself.
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ย ย ย ย ย After two hours of just enjoying each other, Vivien and Regulus left the room. In the Slytherin common room, they found their friends. As soon as Pandora noticed them two, she hopped to her feet and everyone followed too.
"Happy birthday, Regulus!" They exclaimed, when he came closer to the corner they sat in. Vivien smiled happily, swinging her and Regulus' hands even more in excitement. The girls and Barty sat on the sofa, Evan in the armchair with Clรฉmentine in his arms.
"I see Clรฉmentine is finally getting fond of Uncle Evan." Regulus chuckled.
It wasn't that Clรฉmentine was Rosier's biggest hater but she peed into his shoes. Three times. For no reason. Regulus tried to find the cause. No stress, no health problems, no dirty poop box, no meowing for help. She did it as a hobby.
Vivien let go of Regulus' hand, once their friends came to him for hugs. Pandora pushed herself first, throwing herself at Regulus.
Vivien observed the scene. She wanted to crack. Did I really used to think they were a thing? Regulus' arms rested highly on Rora's back, their lower bodies separated nearly miles. It was the most sibling-alike hug Vi had ever seen! Alecto and Amycus have more chemistry. The awkwardness had become so natural between them that they didn't seem stiff at all. It was natural how Regulus and Pandora hugged. They peeled away, grinning.
Dorcas attacked Regulus second, cupping his face and kissing him all over it like she would do to a child despite the fact that he was taller than her. Barty pushed himself on Dorcas, hugging Regulus and squeezing Cas between them. Regulus responded to Barty, squeezing Cassie even more. They all smiled and Cassie hugged Regulus.
After the three's group hug, came Evan. He put away Clรฉmentine, who walked to Vivien. Vivien crouched down, massaging her back, when she purred. Evan hugged Regulus so tightly that he almost suffocated him. They pulled away.
"We're getting old." Evan chuckled, wiping his eyes.
Vi glanced at him from Clรฉmentine. He was literally the biggest softie Vivien had ever seen! She laughed with the rest of her friends too.
"Speak for yourself." Pandora teased. "Regulus's in the prime of his life." She nudged him. "He keeps getting busier and busier."
"Vi's a piece of work." Regulus chuckled. "Vi, did you make them sit here while we're doing it?" He glanced at the witch.
She straightened away from Clรฉmentine, insulted at the insinuation.
"I'm not! And I didn't!" She argued defensively.
"Yes, you did! You throw a pillow at my face to wake me, so I would get out!" Evan accused her.
"To get out and go to Barty's! Not to sit here and count down when we finish!" She protested at the accusation.
"Vi, it's alright." Black smiled, coming closer to her as Clรฉmentine walked away. "Your needs are easily met. Evan didn't have to count down that for too long." He interrupted Vi's and Evan's fight, hooking his arm around her waist. But Vivien furrowed her eyebrows, insulted even more than before, hearing snickering because Regulus said she was quick in bed. But I can go on for rounds!
"That's even worse!" What is it? An insult Vivien day? First bath, then this.
Vivien pushed away Regulus and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Carefully or I will tell everyone about your balls." She quirked an eyebrow.
He gasped theatrically, lying his hand on his heart. "You wouldn't. Not on my birthday."
"You're right. I wouldn't on your birthday. But tomorrow is a day too. And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that, and so on."
Pandora and Evan sat down in their previous seats. But Dorcas' and Barty's heads grew over Regulus' shoulders.
"What about Regulus' balls?" Cas smirked.
Regulus glanced to the sides at them both before rolling his eyes.
"They didn't drop yet, mate?" Barty chuckled.
Regulus laid a hand on his face, pushing him whole away. He turned around to walk away from the conversation.
Cassie sneaked to Vivien. "What about Regulus' balls?"
"If he keeps acting up, you will find out." Vivien threatened, staring at Regulus with her eyes squinted, sharply.
Regulus looked over his shoulder, squinting his eyes at Vi, when he was sitting down.
Were the two in the first argument?
Were they all witnesses to the first wind in a paradise?
It wasn't like a minute later, Vivien didn't sit in his laps and Regulus didn't kiss her on the neck, causing her goosebumps.
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ย ย ย ย ย "Oi, Mister Busy!" Teddy called, approaching Vivien, Regulus, and their friends as they were about to enter the Great Hall for breakfast with Rosie, Bambi, and Freya. Older teens stopped and Regulus faced Vivien's brothers.
Teddy suddenly closed him in a hug. He accepted the gesture, leaning to his height.
"Happy birthday, Regulus."
Rosie threw himself in his arms, hugging him.
"Please, stop groping my sister." He suggested. All the teens cracked at how he made his wish for Regulus.
"I believe you already had your birthday wish this year, Rosaire." Pandora pointed out.
Freya seemed unsure if she was welcomed in the moment. Hesitantly, she stepped up to hug Regulus with a shy smile. He hugged her back delicately.
"A lot of luck and love."
He appreciated it. They both knew he already had it with Vi but it was never too much. Lastly so close to Regulus' height, Bambi approached him and hugged him tightly like Evan did before.
"I hope Vivi treats you as well as you treat her and you treat her as well as she treats you." He whispered, squeezing him gently.
"She treats me better than I would ever deserve."
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ย ย ย ย ย The morning wind in paradise was forgotten quickly. Vivien treated Regulus tenderly the whole day. She tried to match his attitude, when he was making her feel like she was the only girl in the whole world. She wanted to make him feel like he was the only boy in the whole world. Her only boy. It meant a lot of affection. She was hugging Regulus at all timesโfrom behind, from the front, and from the sides. Standing, sitting, laying. Vi's sticky fingers were all over Regulus, preparing for his birthday party in the Room of Requirement.
Before he pulled the jumper over his head, a one that would match Vivien's dress, ger smaller hands had already sneaked on his back and towards his waist. And he felt Vi's lips trail from his left shoulder to the right.
"All that beauty mine." He heard her whisper in awe.
Vi's soft and full lips, warm breath, and greedy words that left her mouth gave him shivers. He turned in her arms. Her hands didn't move from Regulus' waist as he and his bare torso faced her. Regulus cupped her face, her big green eyes sparking gold at his touch.
"And all that beauty mine." He whispered, leaning towards Vivien. They smiled against each other's lips,, letting them flow slowly.
Evan's eye twitched. He was still in the room! He observed them parting and Vivien helping Regulus dress in a burgundy jumper, as it was the closest to the pink of Vivien's dress. The one she was gifted by Mrs. Black that she was making great use of that spring.
The birthday party was different from others. It was small.
Last year, Dorcas and Evan organised the chaos of a party in the Slytherin common room for Regulus and he got so pissed from the alcohol pouring everywhere, he found himself unzipping his trousers for Alecto. Fairly, he had had a great reason to drink away his sorrow on his sixteen birthday.
And the years before that one, his ex-friends used to cheer the whole party up. When they were younger, it was more innocent. The first birthday Regulus got drunk was his thirteenth, when his old friends asked Hyacinth Parkinson for a fire whiskey, who asked another even older student for it.
This birthday was smaller but more meaningful. There were not a lot of people remembering Regulusโ birthday but all the people who mattered did. Regulus got some Happy birthdays from people he only talked to that one time of the year. He didn't even care to remember their names, not even mentioning their own birthdays. It would be as fake as it was on their part.
Vivien wanted Regulus to think of any place he would like to see. And still, he chose the living room from her first home. He had memorised it perfectly by then and it was the exact copy of the room. Warm, cosy, and light. After a few hours of talking, playing some games, eating cake, and receiving different gifts, Regulus sat on the sofa surrounded by friends. Teddy and Rosie had left by then to sleep.
It was just him, Vivien, their friends, and Bambi with Freya. Regulus asked for those few only. None of the not-invited people took it personally. It was hard to earn Regulus' trust and it was his birthday. It was about him.
Regulus was silent, listening to everyone and just enjoying it. Vivien had her legs thrown over his laps, resting her head on his shoulder as she contemplated his face. Regulus had his eyes closed but she could tell he wasn't napping.
"We have to cut your hair again." She murmured. Interesting. The shorter his hair is, the straighter it is, and the longer it is, the curlier it gets.ย
"Whatever you say, my Highness." He murmured under his nose, and his lips twitched. He opened his eyes, turning his face towards Vivien's. She was smiling too. They gazed into each other's eyes, the rest of the room a whisper in the back of their head. Vivien was about to stretch her neck out to reach Regulus' lips with hers-
"You little whore didn't tell me about you and Vivien." Cassie cut in their moment, slurring her words out, straightening in her seat with a bottle of beer in her hand.
She sat with Barty and Evan on the couch across from the couple. Pandora sat on one of the two armchairs on the side, Freya and Bambi were sitting on the other.
The twoโs heads snapped from their little private moment. The rest cracked. Regulus quirked his eyebrow. Did she mean him and Vivien? Cassie needed to put down the bottle.
"What?" Vivien tilted her head, bewildered at Casโ recently weak head.
"Fuck," Meadowes hiccuped. "I meant you and Marlene, Vivien."
When did Cassie get such a weak head for alcohol? Maybe they were getting older. Evan reached for the bottle Cassie held and slowly took it out of her hand.
But Vivien heated up hellishly, the skin of her back prickling. It's not that I tried to keep it secret but I don't want to talk about it either. Did Marlene tell her?...
Vivien felt Regulus look at her. Everyone looked at her. Vivien giggled nervously, and Regulus felt her tense.
"What do you mean, Cas?"
"Oh, you know what I mean." Dorcas smirked. Some devil came out of Meadowes as she drunkenly teased the witch. Because she was teasingโshe wasn't trying to fight or argue. But Vivien was sober as was Regulus, while the rest more or less wasn't.
Vivien shook her head. "I don't know what Marlene told you, Cassie-"
"Oh my god!" She hopped up to her feet. "So it's her that you gave a head, didn't you?"
What? Vi furrowed her eyebrows, her lips opening and closing. She looked between Regulus and Dorcas, disoriented.
"Marlene told me that if you wanted to tell, you would tell, when I asked her what's between you two but I fucking knew it!" She pointed her finger at Vivien, excited that she was right.
Evan slowly put Cassie's bottle to his lips, taking a gulp before sharing it with Barty, who wanted one too, while they all observing the scene.
Vivien felt her heart speed up. So Cassie didn't know? Did I just reveal myself? And Marlene? She didn't like this news being brought to her birthday boy on his special day.
Vivien immediately looked at Regulus, taking her hands off of him to gesticulate.
"Regulus, I'm so sorry. I didn't really want to talk about it but I was going to tell you eventually. There's nothing between me and Marlene like that. There never was. We were high-ish and experimenting." She panicked.
Regulus saw Vivien's eyes turn wateryโshe thought he would be mad. She worried she had ruined the atmosphere of his birthday.
He smiled warmer, "Vi, it's alright. I could tell and I never cared."
Vivien's heart stopped.
"What?" She choked out in shock.
Regulus wasn't blind. He noticed signs. It was discreet but Marlene took a lot of guilty glances at Vivien, both of them stiff to each otherโtoo stiff for two girls that had used to be just friends. They didn't know how to act around each other.
Regulus connected the dots, remembering how Vi didn't know how to act towards him after his first time. He knew Vi once pleasured another girl after she confessed it. He knew she wouldn't just jump to such an act with someone she barely knew. It had to be someone she used to know before it. And there were not many choices. Most of Vivien's girl friends were dating or even in relationships with boys before Vi herself even considered what exactly girls would like to have boyfriends for. Of course there were rumours about her two roommates but it was clear that if Sybill Trelawney and Emmeline Vance wanted to date girls, they wanted to date each other. There was not much left.
Marlene McKinnonโa few dates with different boys, one rumour about her and Alaric Clopton jumping each other's bones drunk during a celebration party after winning a quidditch match two years before but nothing came out of it either.
Marlene McKinnon seemed to struggle finding someone for herself when she tried with boys but all she yearned for were girls.
Regulus' hands, which never left Vivien, pulled her into her previous position. Regulus preferred it over this nonsense of distance between them.
"I never cared because I'm the one pleasuring you like she never got to because you want me and only me to do it. And she's with Cas now."
"Oh, you two little sluts." Freya commented in disbelief, causing the rest to crack as they all watched the two.
The more alcohol she drank, the more Freya came out of shy Freya.
"You don't even know." Bambi brought her to him in a kiss.
Yet, Freya's smug smirk against Vivien's brother's mouth said she knew something about that subjec.
Vivien and Regulus looked away from the young drunk couple.
Regulus saw Vivien's concern because she realised she should have a safe sex talk with her younger brother.
What the fuck do you say during a one?, Vivien never had her safe sex talk!
It could be a little too late for that talk, Regulus thought to himself. He had that feeling that he would be the one up to the challenge to talk with Ambrosie, which was ironic, since it was Ambrosie, who called out Regulus for not keeping sex safe a few months before.
"Regulus shaves his balls," Barty threw in after Vivien told him the secret of Regulus' balls a few hours before. He was too intrigued with that mysterious detail the two were hiding.
"In fact, Vivien kept pushing her bed away from mine because she was jealous." Pandora added.
"Regulus proposed to Vivien." Evan murmured barely hearable but everyone's heads turned in his direction, including the young drunk couple, who just had their faces stuck to each other.
Ambrosie's mouth opened.
He looked between his sister and her boyfriend.
Evan put up the bottle to his mouth, obliviously winning the drunken game of exposing Vi and Regulus.
Chapter 64: engraved in the stone
Chapter Text
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ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Miss Beauchรชne was packing her last things into the trunk before the last breakfast of that school year. She felt sentimental and unwilling to go back home. There was one reason for thatโher life at Hogwarts got so beautifulโeven more beautiful than in these dreams, where Regulus would kiss herโthat she had through her fourth and fifth years. When he was mean, she began having these dreams that he would kiss her. Something about that burning tension fired her. He caused her to get shivers, whispering coolly into her, tickling her with his breath, when he was nice.
But when Regulus was rude, Vivien began feeling that new sensation. Down between her legs, where neither sun nor moon shone. Fourteen-year-old Regulus gave fourteen-year-old Vivien butterflies in some places she didn't imagine butterflies fitting in. But they were there along with other sensations.
Vivien always liked Pandora Malfoy but she couldn't be happier, when her and Regulus' relationship ended. There was no drama, no fight, and no hard feelings. They remained friends. And Pandora didn't seem half as heartbroken after her breakup as Vivien felt during her relationship with Regulus. It happened in December, which Vivien spent mostly fighting with Nolan. And in January, her world was completely demolished.
Vivien never thought she would ever be able to rebuild everything that Nolan destroyed like it was his to destroy. Vivien still remembered everything he did, even if he was dead. But what a relief it was to never see him smirk arrogantly at her, hear him spit his poison at her, and have him try to grab her body like she was a toy in his handโmeant to be used.
At the end of her fifth year, Vivien couldn't be happier to go home especially with her grandma gone. She felt sorry about her family but the grief and sorrow couldn't treat her worse than Hogwarts did. And it was an entirely different summer than she planned.
Full of Regulus fucking Black, the boy who shattered her heart not once but twice that year. She thought that the night they shared on the Astronomy Tower one May evening after his team lost a quidditch match would change things between them. Even when she was embarrassed about everything that he knew about her body because he was called a prude, and she was called a whore.
She wished for him to catch her attention, even if she was intentionally ignoring it and avoiding him. He did and again they shared a few beautiful minutes of intense kisses. And Vivien hoped they would happen again. And again. And again. Until the day after. And they didn't because supposedly Regulus quickly turned Vivien into the butt of the joke. But it wasn't him. Of course he didn't tell her that. She had to investigate on her own after she was imprisoned in his house in the role of his wife-to-be, acting out some spectacle.
Despite how much Regulus would hurt Vivien, she would always hope he would come back on his fours pathetically, kissing up to her arse and begging her for her forgiveness. That's not exactly what happened. She fucked Regulus in his bed above his mother's bedroom. But it fixed the thing between them. Only for Vivien to go into a circle of mistakes for monthsโsome mistakes she didn't even realise she was making until she was told.
The fights, unclear words and oblivious conversations, all the secrets, tears, bruises, and bloodโif it was the only way to get to Regulus, Vivien would repeat it all in a heartbeat.
To get to Regulus, Vivien could crawl through hell and get lost. Because she knew that for him she would fight to find her path out. Vivien would go to the end of hell for Regulus. For every moment of pain, there was a moment of peace. Every sleepless night was replaced by a blissful dream. All the kisses, hugs, cuddles, compliments, and sweet nothings that were Vivien's everything, intimacy, and closeness of Regulus. Sometimes, their silence spoke more than a thousand words.
Vivien wanted to stay in Hogwarts, where now she could be a careless teenage girl in love with some sweet, dumb boy, and they could be foolish together.
"Viiiii," The witch felt Regulus' arms tangle around her waist. She felt him bring her closer into his loose embrace. She landed on his laps as he sat on the edge of her bed, watching her not pack. She stood in place, playing with the snake ring he gave her back in November as a symbol of their friendshipโwhen he was a bit too bold about his feelings, while she was a little too shy with hers.
Vivien smiled at Regulus, who studied her. He could tell she had something on her mind. Vivien was anxious, always with a worry on her mind. He could tell that the last thing she wanted to do was pack her trunk, slacking on it.
"What is it, Vi? You don't want to see Eden?" Regulus suggested, rocking her on his laps, hopeful to lighten her darkness.
"When you are asking it like this, I feel guilty." She glanced down.
"So you don't want to go back?"
"Where exactly, Regulus? Your house?" Vivien glanced up at him. She wasn't harsh, genuinely asking him. "I want to see my little brother. But-" Vivien hesitated licking her lips that got butchered again over a night. "But here, I can be in love with you, Regulus." She said quietly. "And out there? Not so much." She shook her head as if to emphasise how much she couldn't be in love with him.
"You can be in love with me everywhere, Vi. Anywhere." Regulus assured.
"But outside of Hogwarts, it's going to be different, isn't it?"
"Not for me. It never changed and never will." Vivien caught Regulus' chin in her hand. He felt her thumb stroking his lips.
"Neither for me." She proclaimed, her brows softening.
Still, she didn't dare kiss Regulus with her lips, which were so swollen and disgustingly raw. Regulus saw Vi roll her lips into her mouth, aware of how she had hurt herself. It was as if she tried to hide them, ashamed of herself for what she did to herself. She took her hand off of him.
Regulus rested his forehead against hers.
"You are beautiful, Vi. You know that, don't you?"
Was she worrying Regulus? Absolutely. Was she disgusting him with her delicate lips that she treated so poorly? No!
Vivien smiled shyly.
"I do. But never will I be as beautiful as you are, Regulus." She replied playfully.
Regulus smiled sweetly.
"Give me a kiss, my little enthusiast." He encouraged the witch.
She kissed him slowly and he responded with subtle movements, her poor lips so sore he didnโt want to cause her discomfort or burning.
"You lose, Barty! They are just kissing!"
Before the couple could register what was happening, the door sprang open, and they heard Emmeline announcing their private and personal moment to the whole Ravenclaw tower.
Vivien and Regulus parted ways. They looked at Emmeline and Sybill, who peeped from behind her.
"Are you two joining us? Breakfast begins soon." She smiled, offering gently.
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ย ย ย The Great Hall was bright, the sun shining through the big windows, stroking studentsโ skin. It was such a summerish day outside. Vivien sat with Pandora, Barty, Sybill, Emmeline, and Marlene at the Ravenclaw table.
Vivien looked around for Freya but noticed her at the Gryffindor table with Ambrosie, Kingsley, and Hestia, who were all joking and cackling like a choir of frogs.
The Great Hall had been decorated in green and silver since the goodbye feast last evening. Slytherin won the house cup. Second was Gryffindor, third was Hufflepuff, and at last was Ravenclaw to no one's shock or disappointment.
The battle always was between Slytherins and Gryffindorsโneither Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws could care less about a piece of metal. Only Gryffindors and Slytherins could be prideful enough to push sticks up their arses to conquer what exactly? A literal cup? Nothing even comes with it!
Vivien had asked Barty once, when was the last time Ravenclaw had won one and he had chuckled.ย
Bold of you to assume Ravenclaw ever won.
Not entirely true. We won. Like once. Or twice. Just not in the last century. Pandora had claimed, a light beam on her lips.
Vivien had taken a note. Winning house cups was for losers. Winning a house cup was for people who had nothing else to do with their time but push sticks up their arses.
It was different with the Quidditch Cup. James Potter and the Gryffindor quidditch team won, leaving Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon, and Edgar Bones embarrassed for themselves. But Bones was too occupied with Mary MacDonald to care, Dorcas and Marlene too busy with each other.
Next year, we will win. Dorcas had dismissed.
If you ask nicely. Marlene had wiggled her eyebrows, challenging her, forgetting she wasn't coming back next year, which caused a bittersweet realisation between the two girls.
At that point, none cared about quidditch season that year and James Potter's glory went into shite to Miss Beauchรชne's happiness. Something about Potter being put into his place was satisfying, his ego all over the place with how much of its size took up space.
Vivien was savouring peacefully her buttered toasts and bacon until she felt Barty scoop away from her to the side.
"You all really couldn't wait until the end of the feast." Pandora tittered, holding a hand over her mouth full of toast with jam.
Vivien glanced at her and then at Regulus, who slipped into the seat directly beside her. He gazed back at her. They smiled at each other. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Evan sitting between Barty and Regulus and Cassie sitting beside Marlene with Sybie and Emma on the other side of the table.
Vivien focused on Regulus. He looked healthy. She had cut his hair last night and they crowned his head now. His skin had a more lively shade than it had in winter. It was still pale but not sickly grey. Vivien put down her toast and picked up the cup of tea. She took a few sips before placing it away too.
Regulus wasnโt taking anything, snacking at least.
"You already ate?" She asked, lying her hand on his cheek to caress it.
He softened against her touch.
"I wasn't that hungry." He smiled.
Vivien's eyebrows furrowed in concern. He saw it before she looked away.
Regulus knew Vivien had noticed his eating troubles. They never really talked about it because it was one of these silent subjects. He didn't want to talk about it and he knew Vivien probably didn't know how to start that conversation, which he took advantage of and never spoke up. Still, he knew she cared for him and she was worried about him. After some time, he figured she wasn't trashing her food to throw half of it away on his plate because she didn't like it. She did it only for him. She did it so he would eat a little moreโso his teenage body could grow and not starve. And something about her caring made him want to see her happy because she was, whenever he ate her rubbish off his plate.
Regulus didn't want to eat but he wanted to see Vivien happy. He took the unfinished toast from her plate and bit into it.
"Why don't we share?" He offered and Vivien immediately eased, smiling like he always wanted to see her.
There was a sick thought in the back of his mind telling him he had to visit the toilet as soon as possible. It crept into the darkest corner of his mind. And sometimes it won. Sometimes, he would close the door of his bathroom for ten minutes after he returned from the feast to empty his stomach.
And sometimes Regulus was stronger than that thought because he kept fighting it. He deserved to live as much as anyone else. And he fought the thoughtโsometimes he lost, and sometimes he won. He was at battle.
Vivien kissed Regulus on his dimple as he was smiling the whole time. All she wanted was to see Regulus as healthy as he had been for the last few weeks. She wanted him to gain some more colours, even if his last name was Black and so was his hair, his skin and sharp eyes gray.
Regulus ate a small breakfast with Vivien, watching how they were being watched. Vivien was being watched to be exact. Vivien didn't really mention Potter and the rest of the Gryffindorsโher old friendsโbut they seemed to talk about her and even try to catch her attention. Still, she ignored those attempts.
Did Regulus Black like any of his brother's friends? Not much. But he cared for Vivien as much as she cared for him. And despite how emotionless and uninterested she was about the whole situation, he knew she would later regret it if she didn't react to it now.
"Go say your goodbyes, Vi." He murmured, glancing at Vivien.
She looked between him and their friends.
"Are you going somewhere?"
"No but they are." Regulus nodded his head towards the Gryffindor table, pointing his eyes in the direction of Vivien's old friends.
James was the most animated in his seat. She noticed but pretended not to. But in the moment, she looked at the group and her stare crossed with James. She glanced back at Regulus, opening her mouth to decline such a suggestionโthat she had something to say to them especially with how they always protected Sirius. They always chose his side, no matter how badly he mistreated half of them.
"Vi, do it for your peace of mind, not theirs." But Regulus cut in.
Vivien looked around her newer friends, who were already glancing at her.
"Go, Vivien. I know I still don't have a clean parchment with you and they do too. But it will bother you as much as it bothers us in the end." Vivien knew Marlene was right. She didn't like to leave business unfinished. It was stopping her from moving on further, feeling stuck in the past dragging her down by her shoulders.
Regulus took Vivian's hands in his and kissed them. She sighed heavily.
"Brave girl." He encouraged her.
Vivien stood up, hopping over the bench. She walked away from her seat and friends, her stomach twisting. She wasn't even stressed about facing her old friends but about saying goodbye. Goodbyes were awkward and she never knew what to say. She always wanted to get over it quickly and walk away in her own direction.
They weren't natural for her because they made her absolutely uncomfortable with how oftentimes people shed tears like they were on the deathbed and not on the platform, where they would see each other in two months.
But this time, she wouldn't see the so-called Marauders and the girls on the Platform 9ยพ in two months. Yet, she could sense that their paths would cross in the future. It wasn't the end. And perhaps in the future, they could be better to each other than they used to be.
Vivien hesitantly walked between the Ravenclaw table and the Gryffindor one. She passed her brothers and their friends softly waving her hand at them. They all smiled. Students' eyes followed her and she ignored them. She passed her friends. Regulus' eyes met hers from the other side of the table and he encouraged her more with a head movementโthat she was doing the right thing for herself.
She took a deep breath, looking ahead of herself. She raised her chin high. For peace of mind.
Edgar and Mary were the first to see Vivien walking towards them all as MacDonald sat in Bones' arms. Bones murmured something to the rest, MacDonald observing Vivien, smiling sadly.
Vivien was feeling quite weird about Edgar at the moment. She wasn't jealous that after their intimate friendship, he found a girl he treated better romantically than her. She was delighted to see him in love with someone, who matched him. Because Mary and Edgar were a match. Playful, confident, and radiant.
But Vivien felt weirded out with how from all the girls in Hogwarts, yet one another of her friends fancied her old girl-friend. She was an old friend for a reason but love was blind and Vivien wasn't the one to judge Edgar or Cassie for who they fell in love with.
And even if Vivien had estranged feelings about Mary, she knew about her strengths as much as about her weaknesses. Mary could be a good person. They all could be good people.
James, Peter, Lily, Remus, Alice, and Mary. Even with their flaws. Sirius could be a good person too. He could be, if he took off the glasses of blissful ignorance he wore to separate himself from the world that hurt him so much. And for his pain, he caused more harm in that ugly undeserving world. He hurt his friends as an act of rebellion.
James was the first one to jump up from the bench and Peter was the second.
Vivien stopped a few feet away from them at that action like a wild cautious animal. Others turned their heads, looking at her. And they all were watched like a rare kind of beast.
Vivien put her hand in the air as a sign for James and Peter to stay where they stood before they decided to do anything that would be too much for her. She swallowed.
"I will never forget how much all of you disappointed me. Especially you, James, my first bestest friend I had. I will never forget you choosing your friendship with someone else over ours because I wasn't the one in the wrong and I didn't deserve how you lied to me, adding only to how humiliated I felt but-" Her voice shook. She looked down to the ground to collect herself, swallowing thickly. She took a deep breath and looked up again.
"But I forgive you. It's true that I don't know how you actually are anymore, James, Peter, and the rest of you." She looked at the other Gryffindors. "But the truth is you don't know who I am eitherโand perhaps you never did because I was always ashamed of who I was. But now I wish that when we meet again in the future and you will get to know the real me, you will understand me better. And from today until that future, I'm hoping that we will be able to be better friends to each other than we have been in the past."
She observed the group, biting on one of the scabs on her lips.
"And I'm sorry that I chose anyone over you, my first best friend. I'm sorry that I blamed you for my feelings." James looked at Lily, who smiled softly, nodding her head. He looked back at Vivien. "And I'm sorry that I projected my feelings on you, when I didn't understand them myself. I wasn't lying, Vivien. I meant it. You are the first girl I have ever loved, and I still do but you were right too. It's not the kind of love I tried to convince you to. I love you platonically." He carefully chose his words.
The corners of Vivien's lips twitched. Now, she came closer to James and Peter, throwing herself at them, hugging them tightly around neck. After their shock was gone, they hugged her, glancing at each other over her shoulders.
"I'm so sorry, Vivien." Peter whispered in her ear.
Vivien never heard so many sorries as her old friends all gathered. Mary, Edgar, Remus, and silent Sirius [for the first time in his life] slid under the table to the other side, where the rest stood. She hugged them, everyone expressing their guilt and apologising to her. She even saw tears in Alice's eyes. Exactly why I don't like scenes like this one!
For some reason, Edgar hugged Vivien. He was the last one to get a hug before the actual last one.
"What? There's nothing such as too many hugs." He smiled down at her as she looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowing judgingly. He hadn't had anything to hug her for.
When they parted, Sirius stood behind Edgar waiting at last. He had a lot to apologise for.
Vivien smiled at him tightly. Sirius did the same, taking a step closer.
He sighed, "You're right, Vivien. I owe you the biggest apology and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I mess up all the time. I screw things up because I am screwed up. But I don't want to be. And you are right, I am a horrible friend and I left everyone around me miserable because I was so confident I had a right to give back the pain I was born with. I don't know how I could ever deserve the amount of patience I was given. And you are right that you are a better person than I am but I pray to I don't even know who that you were wrong about one thingโthat you are better than I ever will be. I want to be good. I want to be as strong as you are, Vivien. I want to wake one morning and have that strength. I'm sorry for what I did to you, how I humiliated you, how I misjudged you, how I made you a tool or fool and that I hurt you, Vivien. I wish that one day I will deserve the forgiveness you gave me today." He spoke, his grey eyes never running away from her, no matter how ashamed and guilty he felt because of the reality he ignored for so long.
Vivien opened his arms for him without another word. Sirius came closer to her and once they were about to hug, he groaned. Vivien's knee shot straight into his crotch and she backed away. He bent down, breaking in half. Remus, Peter, James, and Edgar winced, feeling his pain. The girls cringed. Students cracked.
"That's for not telling me you could play the piano, dickhead." She accused, folding her arms over her chest, pleased with herself.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sirius looked up at her pale like a ghost, his soul leaving his body out of the agony.
"Regulus told me." She tilted her head.
Sirius barely furrowed his eyebrows.
"Regulus told you? I don't play the pianoโthe little prick is!" He cried out in pain, pointing his hand at his little brother.
Regulus curled down, when Vivien looked for him between students with her eyes narrowed, ready to stab him with one of her daggers. With his head very low, he stood up from the bench, very quickly sneaking towards the exit of the Great Hall before she could do the same to him as she had done to his older brother.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien took offence at how Regulus lied to her. She didn't speak to him at all. They were on the train, and she sat in the corner with her arms still folded over her chest, looking outside the window. Regulus sat on the opposite seat from hers glancing at her the whole time.
"Vi, I'm sorry I lied to you." He said once more.
Pandora, Barty, and Evan relaxed in their own seats. Regulus leaned on the small table under the window, stretching out towards Vivien. She didn't even give him a glance out of the corners of her wild eyes for a split second.
"I am very, very, very sorry." He repeated, making big eyes at her.
She chewed on her scabbed lips, the urge to gaze at him and his sinless eyes so hard to resist.
Regulus smiled, lying his chin against his hands that were placed on the table.
"I beg for mercy, my Majesty. My lie wasn't right when all you wanted was to hear someone play the piano. Please spare me a life." He pleaded.
And Vivien hated how it made her lips twitch. She looked down, lowering her face because she wanted to smile so badly. Regulus moved closer to her on the table. He untucked one of his hands from under his chin and reached with it for Vi's chin pushing her face up. She was smiling and he grinned.
"Why didn't you tell me you could play the piano?" Vivien didn't understand it. "Are you bad? If you are, I wouldn't make you play. I wouldn't want to listen to it."ย
Her friends laughed after resting in silence listening to Regulus' pleas, enjoying them a little too much.
"He's actually a great player." Pandora turned her face toward Vivien.
Vivien looked at her, her brows together.
"You knew he could play, and you didn't tell me?"
"Me and Evan. Yes." Pandora dragged Evan into it before slacking in her seat once more.
Vivien looked at Evan with her eyes narrowed. He placed his hands up in the air as a sign of innocence, Barty lying his head on his boyfriend's shoulderโas in the end, Barty had outran Evan in the chase. Vivien and Regulus had heard him drunk ask Evan to be his boyfriend, when they all lay in the darkness of the boys' dorm after Regulus' birthday party.
"It wasn't our place to tell the truth, if he chose to lie. And it wasn't that big of a deal." Evan cringed, suddenly remembering how big of a deal it was to the witch, some penises crushed forever. "To us at least."
Vivien sharply breathed in and out, looking back at Regulus. "Why did you lie then?"
"Because I used to be a great player. Not am right now. I haven't played in a long time." He elaborated.
It made Vivien wonder. I've never seen a piano at Grimmauld Place. Is it in the drawing room?
Regulus saw how in her thoughts, Vivien began biting on her poor lips more. He reached into the pocket of his trousers for a small vial. He opened it and soaked his fingertip with a single drop.
Vivien wandered back to reality, feeling Regulus' wet fingertip stroke her lips. She glanced at him, literally taken aback, pulling away from his finger.
"Potion to heal your lips. I visited Madame Pomfrey one last time after breakfast." He said laconically.
Vivien moved back a bit and he stroked her lips again. He applied the potion delicately to her sore lips.
"When Sirius went to Hogwarts, I didn't have that much to do with myself on my own. We used to have a piano in the living room. Sirius was too stubborn to learn to play with our teacher but I liked it. And I played it a lot. And I mean a lot. At some point, it became an ache for my mother's head, when all I did for days was play the piano. One day, she told Kreacher to get rid of it, sick of me and the piano. He moved it to the attic. And I haven't played since then. So it's been over six years during which I got into reading. It's quiet and less hurting to my motherโs head." He said casually.
Oh. Vivien felt bad. That was cruel. Walburga had been taking away Regulus' passion for years. First piano, second magizoology.
She softened.
"I'm sorry." She murmured against his finger.
Regulus shrugged his shoulders. "It's fine. I don't care about it anymore."
The rest of the trip was livelier after Dorcas and Marlene joined the group, taking the free seat beside Pandora.
Sometimes, Vivien's brothers piped into the room to annoy their big sister and her friends but Vivien enjoyed it all in Regulus' laps, listening to all the conversations. She listened to her friends talking about their plans for summer.
Cassie didn't really have any plansโexpect to see Marlene as much as possible. Marlene, on the other hand, was supposed to visit her distant family, who lived in Germany. Pandora prayed just to close herself in her bedroom. Barty was supposed to go with his mother to France for a few weeks.
Evan glanced at Vivien and Regulus after she asked him about his plans.
"What are yours?"
Vivien and Regulus didn't have much choice. They glanced at each other.
"Maybe we will stay at Vi's family's residence." Regulus answered uncertainly.
"Yeah." Vivien nodded her head in agreement, looking back at Evan.
"Then I guess I'm going to be behind the wall with your brothers counting down until you finish, Vi." He answered her question about his plans.
Vivien kicked him with a scandalised face.
Regulus and the rest burst out laughing at the crude comment.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien was scrambling out of the express with her friends, her brothers following behind. They were pushing with other students hurriedly to avoid Evans catching Regulus, Dorcas, and Barty to ask them to finish their prefect duties for the last time that semester. They had no fuck to give about the first-years playing hide and seek on the Hogwarts Express.
"Air," Rosie whined from behind, desperate for some fresh air. They all were moving through the narrow corridor. Vivien was already at the exit, dragging her trunk with both of her hands. But she was struggling and Regulus saw she was about to drop it on her feet. He stepped in.
"Vi, leave it." He said and she looked up at him. He hopped over her trunk at the exit of the express.
She backed away. He picked it up for her, securely placing it on the ground. Then Evan handed him his trunk and he took it. Vivien and Regulus faced each other after they moved to the side through the crowd of families, waiting for their friends and the witch's brothers.
"Thank you," Vivien smiled.
Regulus smiled too, when she reached for a small kiss from his lips.
Quickly, their friends and brothers sneaked after them between other students. They all smiled sadly at each other. Expect VivienโVivien wanted to go home. The Platform 9ยพ was so packed.
Bye, she repeated over and over again going into hugs with everyone. It was a hard task, all of them stumbling into each other's ways. But she managed to hug Pandora, Dorcas, Marlene, Barty, Freya, Hestia, Kingsley, and Duncan. At last, she hugged, Evan expecting to see him soon. He kissed her at the temple and she grinned.
Vivien grasped her trunk in one hand and Regulus in the other, walking away with him and her brothers towards the exit of the station, their friends going into their own direction to look for their own families. Expect Evan who just joined Pandora.
The Beauchรชne siblings and young Mister Black found Manon at the platform door. She stood alone with her hands behind her back, smiling. Her smile warmed up as she saw her teenagers despite how they all frowned at her sight.
"Hi." She immediately went to hug her children with her sweet tone.
Vivien watched her brothers hug their mother in bewilderment. After Teddy unwillingly embraced Manon, she turned to her oldest and only daughter.
Vivien gazed at her suspiciously, seeing tears in her mother's eyes.
"Vinny. My poor, little Vinny." She said, hugging her.
Vivien stood there, stupified. She glanced at Regulus, who smiled as if to encourage her to hug her mom back. Hesitantly, Vivien did. And Manon squeezed her gently. Vivien heard her sniff.
"My special girl."
The Beauchรชne brothers and Regulus stood there awkwardly, that hug getting longer. But something about Manon hugging Vivien so tightly and affectionately moved her. Her eyes became teary against her will. Manon rarely ever showed her such motherly tenderness. When they pulled away, Regulus saw Vivien wipe her eyes, her mother hugging him.
"Regulus."
"Manon." He welcomed her with a tight smile, hugging her back.
After those moments of Manon's weakness, she faced them all and clapped her hands together.
"So where are you going? Last chance to run away." She smiled through her tears, trying to mask them.
"Is everything alright, mama?" Ambrosie asked, when she was acting strange.
"The United States? You all know English already and all are welcome there." She continued, ignoring Bambi's question, glancing at Vivien.
Regulus looked around, disoriented. He looked back at Manon.
"Where are my mother and father?"
"Awaiting us. How surprised they will be after I come back alone." She insisted.
Vivien's stomach twisted in unease, thinking she got the hint. She looked at Regulus. They both understood, his parents probably planned to announce their wedding date this summer. But neither of them was ready to leave.
Eden would be left with Regulus' parents and mama! Despite Regulus' deeply running resentment for his parents, when Manon suggested that they all should run away, he couldnโt. If Vivien and he ever ran away, he would first want to see his parents one last time, knowing it was for good. And what about his little buddy?
Vivien observed Regulus' Adam's apple bob, and she knew he couldn't run away as she couldn't. She looked at Manon.
"Let's go home." She made the decision.
"Home," Manon snorted sourly under her nose.
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ย ย ย ย ย Vivien expected everything but when she, her brothers, Regulus, and Manon found themselves in a dark hallway in a manor she recognized, her heart dropped six feet under.
Pandora lurked out of one of the archways on the floor, hearing the hiss of air that Apparition caused. She frowned.
"Vivien? Regulus?" She asked, the rest of Beauchรชnes looking around.
"VIVIEN!" Eden ran out from the same archway, passing her. He ran to Vivien, hugging himself to her hips.
She brushed his hair.
"Eden, what did I say about running?" Narcissa followed after him, walking confidently.
She smiled, seeing her guests.
"Regulus," She came closer to her cousin, her grin widening. They shared a hug before she welcomed everyone else the same. "Vivien, you look lovely. And these must be your other brothers?"
"All my sons." Manon piped in.
Pandora approached the group she had just said goodbye to a few minutes before, her trunk still standing at the entrance door, elvesโ hands full of work.
"Where are my parents?" Regulus asked once again, becoming a little nervous, gesticulating.
Vivien grasped his hand, bringing it down and taking it into her own.
Narcissa waved her hand dismissively to calm him down.
"They went out to Gringotts with Lucius, our mother, Bellatrix, and Restaban." She checked the watch on her hand. "They should be back any minute from now on. We were all quite busy today with all the preparations."
"Preparations?" Ambrosie asked, Vivien's brothers standing all around the hallway, studying the decor of the house.
"For a wedding."
"Who's getting married?" Rosaire quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head at the dark Victorian painting of a graveyard. It was so dark he barely saw anything. He squinted his eyes.
Eden tilted his head to the back looking up at his big sister. Her hand fell to the side from his little head as she looked down at him.
"Vivien and Regulus are!"
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Chapter 65: ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ฌ
Chapter Text
I want to thank everyone who has originally read this story in real time and interacted with it, when I was actively posting it. It was encouraging to me as a small content creator.
But I want to apologise tooโfor the disappointing quality of my writing, the unimaginable overexplaining, the prolonged scenes and sentences, grammar and spelling mistakes, and a few unawarely but painfully cringe moments.
I am truly inspired that you read it, when it was so unreadable.
And I am equally embarrassed that it was so unreadable when some might know or remember how I was editing constantly and mentioning it. Each reedit might have caused it to turn worse than before, which is ironic.
But here we are.
If one of the old readers stumbles once more at this story, itโs readable now!
If anyone new stumbles here, hi! hope you enjoyed it. and I will see you in the second book [I know I wonโt. lmao]
Not a guilt trip. I simply know itโs heavy content and a lot of reading for one book, so only the most intrigued ones stay obvi.
I want to emphasise that I didn't change the storylines here, I didnโt change the style of my writing either.
For one, this is my first book and I want it to keep that like this for sentiment.
For two, I always intended for it to be more literally and simply written [not badly though]. Some stories are not meant to be poetic, though I tried here a few timesโto sprinkle it with glitter.
And this story was like I enjoyed it at the time. less description, more dialogue and monologue, and hopefully a perfect amount of actionโto balance it all out.
Nonetheless, this is it. hell can break loose but I will never reedit it ever again. every mistake that escaped my attention and dyslexia is forever now.
ย
xoxo everyone,
Martina ๐
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