Death Arena Season 2

by SonicCASUALREAL

Summary:

This is my second season of Death Arena! In this, you'll see a lot of new and old characters. I have a list of matchups and I'm ready to use them all.

Come at me, fuckheads!

Chapter 1

~~~A little over five months in the previously~~~

Ajax: So you want us to make a fight hyping up season ten of Death Battle by doing a 24-chapter second season instead of the 14 chapter limit?

Wiz: Pretty much. We want this to be our final season if they.. *pans over to Rooster Teeth swimming in cash from Omnilander and Scarlet Zatanna* ..Allow us to be done with this and bring in some new people. Jason, are you okay..?

Jason: *smoking a big pack of zazza* We'll do it, but can the fights all be original this time? We didn't exactly cook with Season One. I mean seriously, Denki Kaminari VS Miles Morales? WHo at your office was high enough to come up with that?

WIz: I think Boomstick wanted it in Season X but it got vetoed by Bernie Burns because it wasn't the umpteenth Marvel VS DC fight. We really need this to work.

Ajax: All right then, let's get to work. By the way, Jason, how many pounds of weed is that?

Jason: This is easily around forty pounds. Worth the seventy dollars I paid for.

Ajax: Christ almighty.

*Cue Death Arena theme

Ajax: Sora, the 15 year-old-soldier of Kingdom Hearts...

Jason: ..And Shulk, the all-seeing mute of Xenoblade Chronicles. Now that these two are in Smash Ultimate, let's find out who'll come out on top? He's Ajax and I'm Jason.

Ajax: And it's our job to analyze their keyblade, kanjis and durability to find out who'll win a Death Battle!

*Kingdom Hearts 4 trailer*

Jason: All right, since Wiz and Boomshot-

*Boomstick busts down the door and beats the shit out of Jason*

Jason: I-I mean BoomSTICK.. Already analyzed Sora, we're just gonna focus on his other abilities from KH 3 and Smash Ultimate since that was where certain people.. *pans over to MatPat* ..thought he went. I mean, the quote halfway supported that. "A land where neither light nor dark are at constant war. Rather at peace." Anyways, I'll recap the rest of KH3. The gist is Sora visits multiple worlds to 'reawaken' them A.K.A he gives Disney more franchises to milk.

Ajax: In other words, let's get to his magic or as KH calls it, 'Spells'. He starts with Firega which can melt metal doors or swords. Blizzaga, as implied, can freeze enemies from range. Thundaga can shock his enemies and there are many more spells like Curaga, Aeraga, Gravitaga and Stopaga. All of these can be used effectivly. Sadly, Sora cannot ccess his forms without help from Duckhu- I mean Donald and Goofy.

Jason: Sora's story has sadly ended with him being sent into Japan/Quadratum but thankfully we have the Super Smash Brothers movest that will also be in the fight. Sora's story is one of bravery and strength.

*Shulk's Analysation*

Ajax: Meet Shulk, the hero wielding a long as hell sword. He has quite the amount of abilities which will be briefly covered by Jason due to his expierience with long-winded abilities.

Jason: I only did Bakugou's because he only had ten or so moves compared to Shulk's 50+ moves!

Ajax: Fair point. How about we focus on his forms and Manado arts?

Jason: Good enough for me! Buster damges people running directly at him, speed improves evasion of a single enemy, purge damages someone at a distance, Cyclone damages anyone around hi.. I'm starting to notice a theme here. Anyways, he has two versions of his final form. The first is his Battle Godcleaver Shulk and their health pool is MASSIVE.

Ajax: I mean, we're talking in the millions. Then there's his Challenge Battle Godcleaver Shulk. That is a mouthful. Those are all of Shulk's Monado Arts and NO, we will not be touching on the skilltree since that is purely for gameplay. Shulk's story has been nothing short of spctacular.

*Battle Simulating..* 75%.. 100%.

Ajax: All right the combatants are set and I've run the data through all possibilities. Jason?

Jason: It's time for a DEATH ARENA FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~

–The Fight–

Sora: I wonder who's my next challenger? That angel guy did gave me a good whooping I wonder whose rear I'm going to kick.

Shulk: Ah so you're the one who defeated Pit.

Sora: ....?! Oh you mean that angel guy well he's already been in Angel twice.

Shulk: You must be a new challenger. I want to know why you want to join Smash?

Sora: I want to unlock the door to who I truly am. Don't underestimate me

Shulk: Forsythe has happened. A counter attack.

Sora: Wow that's amazing and impossible.

Shulk: I should tell you this same thing; don't underestimate me. I might have a good ability that might end up killing you.

Sora: Ouch that's harsh.

Shulk: Leave now! I'm not interested in killing you like you did with Pit!! As much a gullible idiot he was a great guy. Please turn back if you do not want a challenge

Sora: First of all he was in the arena at his own free will! He wanted to challenge me. I didn't kill him on purpose! I'm trying to get into the roster you know how it is! I feel like Waluigi every time.

Shulk: Maybe so.. If I beat you, you're going to agree to revive him. You should be intimidated.

Sora: Actually I'm quite thrilled you are not stopping me. I'm trying to get in that roster so I'll pass.

Shulk: That's a fair point. I'm sorry I have to do this to you.. But I cannot keep my friends waiting

Sora: My friends are the reason why I need to do this.

Shulk: If this was a different case everybody would love you. Very well a true friend to another, let's get started.

Sora: Before I take you down, I would like to get to know you. What's your name? I'm Sora.

Shulk: How rude of me! I didn't think the starting was going to take this long.. But I might as well tell you since it might be the last day on Earth. It's easy come, easy go. My name is Shulk.

Sora: I am dying for a challenge Shulk.

Shulk: In the name of the future Sora! I will defeat you

Sora: For my friends and in Kingdom Heart, bring it on Shulk!

Sora And Shulk: With pleasure!

FIGHT!

Sora and Shulk summon their blades and clash. They start to get a few licks in at one another but neither of them are really making progress. Sora sends a ball of firega at Shulk with no effect. Shulk uses Cyclone to send Sora flying!

Sora uses Blizzaga to freeze Shulk which works and Sora runs at Shulk with breakneck speeds and starts slicing at him and charges a slash that'll send him flying. Shulk has almost broken out of the ice but Sora sends him crashing into the wall. Shulk has had enough and runs towards Sora in his Battle Godcleaver form!

Shulk sees a vision about Sora in his Ultimate form, killing him, time to rewrite destiny! Shulk manages to erase Sora from existance, but as he's making his way out, a bright pillar of light shines behind him. "H-How? I changed the future! You're supposed to be dead!" Shulk says, but Sora responds "With the power of my friends and the power of Waking, I can change fate as many times as I like..." Then he enters in his Ultima Form, "My friends, they are my power! And it's time to end this!" They both clash, but Sora power, speed and technique were just to much for Shulk, he just meet a fate he cant escape. A future he can't change.

Finally, Sora changes back to normal, and sees the final world shine once more.

K.O.!!

Ajax: What in the everloving fuck was THAT?!

Jason: Think of it like this; Sora has faced down Hades, Hercules, Xehanort. To him, those are gods. Wheras Shulk has only faced robotic beings before. Plus Sora's spells managed to keep Shulk a good distance away from him.

Ajax: Yeah I guess you're right. Plus, Sora had been fighting the darkness since he was 14! And Shulk only started fight mechs and stuff like that as an adult.

Jason: Shulk fought the good fight, but Sora's willpower earned him this victory.

Ajax: Sora used his key to unlock a brighter future.

Jason: The winner is Sora from Square Enix AND Disney.

*Next Time*

Jason: Next time on Death Arena.

NATHAN DRAKE

VS

DAVID 'Section' MASON

(Hey y'all! I know I'm a month late but better late then never. Next is Section vs Nathan Drake. Should be pretty interesting considering both of them are from different periods in time. Hope you guys enjoy this one cause i wrote this shit at 10:00 till 2:37 with a band performing way out here. Have a good day or evening!)

Chapter 2: David 'Section' Mason VS Nathan Drake

Summary:

David Mason from Call Of Duty Black Ops 2 brings justice against Nathan Drake from Uncharted.

Ajax: *Playing Black Ops 2 campaign, currently on the 5th mission*

Jason: *knock, knock, knock* Hey, Aja-! Oh, nice, finally playin' BO2?

Ajax: Yeah, it's surprisingly more fun then FromSoftware games. *sees QTE* Oh crap, crap, crap-! *Harper gets injured* FUCK, man!

Jason: You can always replay the mission. Anyways, ready for Nathan Drake V David Mason?

Ajax: Let me finish the game at least so I have some knowledge for the analysis.

Jason: Sure. Plus, I want to see what you do to Menendez.

Ajax: *Plays Judgement Day, has secured Chloe's safety and kills Menendez* You get what you fucking deserved, bastard. *Watches the rest of the game and sees Alex survived* That's my GODDAMN BOY!

Jason: Good shit man. I'm surprised you decided to save Chloe the first time around, considering Jocelyn is right next to us.

Death Arena Theme*

Ajax: The future is now, old men! Soon we'll be making it much higher! Nathan Drake, the new Tomb Raiding hero..

Jason: ..And David Mason, the protagonist of Black Ops 2. For this, we'll be using their base equipment from the respective games. He's Ajax, a new Black Ops 2 fan and I'm Jason.

Ajax: And it's our job to analyze their guns, vests and skills to find out who will win a Death Arena Fight!

=============================================================================================================

Jason: David was born in 1979, being 6'1" and his equipment ranges from Frags to Nano Gloves and he certainly can use an abundance of weapons. We go from the Scar-H which can carry up to 60 rounds with an under barrel grenade launcher, an M1216 shotgun with a 16 round mag, and finally a Tac-45 which is a futuristic version of a Glock 19x9 parabellum.

Ajax: During the course of the game, you are given many choices and if you made all of the correct choices, Menendez is kept in custody. The worst is where you spare Menendez, Chloe dies AND Harper dies AND Alex is JFK'd, Menendez kills Frank Woods Sr. and then goes to his sister's grave to burn himself alive. Jesus, I forgot how brutal this game can be.

Jason: Thankfully we're gonna go with the ending where Menendez tells every member of Cordis Die to continue his legacy. Anyways, David has served under the US Navy, JSOC and SEAL Team Six with his rank being a Lt. Commander 0-4.

Ajax: That's pretty impressive. He also was in Black Ops 4 and COD Mobile. We will slightly count his stats there even with him being able to interact with Ghost from MODERN WARFARE. You know, a game that takes place in a whole different universe. GOD, why'd Activision make these games?! Whatever. Since David is technically in COD Mobile, he scales to Dempsey, Misty and... Snoop Dogg. FUCKING SNOOP DOGG?! I get it's a reference to him having a voice pack in Ghosts along with Logan "eMoTiOnAl ReAlItY" Walker here. I'm done with this. Jason, take over.

*Ajax leaves the room and starts smoking some weed*

Jason: It couldn't have been that bad. *Looks at the list* Oh shit. Wait, why isn't Richtofen here? I get that he was a Yahtzee but it wasn't that bad. They added Samantha Maxis and she's literally the... Oh, Rambo? AND JOHN MCCLANE?! I'm ending the damn analysis. David has lived a long and strange life. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be smoking up!

*Jason exits the room to smoke up with Ajax*

*Two days later, they both wake up in a bed with their bodily fluids spread all over them. They are also wearing wedding rings*

*They run back to the office in mixed up clothing beginning the Nathan Drake analysis*

Jason: All right, I'm not the best at Uncharted analysis and we'll be using him from his true final game, A Thief's End. With that, let's begin. 2015, Nathan Drake is still on his treasure hunting game wielding a Desert-5/Desert Eagle with 10 rounds in the chamber and the goated M16A1 assault rifle with 32 rounds in the mag.

Ajax: We're also going to count Playstation All-Star and his fights against the weird blue face and his fight with Sly Cooper. His fight against the PS3 god makes him heavily strong along with his Sly Cooper fight. Why? Sly has fought Clockwerk who was immortal and stronger then conceivable.

Jason: So in short, Nathan is OP as fuck. Great.. Nathan has a common thing with exploding the bad guys alongside the treasure. So you can imagine what happened in this game.

Ajax: Years pass by and he - along with Elena - has a kid, runs a small business with a kid. Nathan really has evolved from his beginning.

*Battle Simulating.. 50%... 75%... 100%*

Ajax: All right, the combatants are set and I've run the data through all possibilities!

Jason: It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!~

=============================================================================================================

Nathan is grabbing a bag of riches out of this temple when suddenly a sniper bullet hits the ground. Nathan puts his hands up. David deactivates his Camo and starts speaking up. "Nathan Morgan, you are under arrest for being allied with Cordis Die." Nathan then whipped out the Desert Eagle. "Sorry buddy, but I'm just doing my job." David knew that he was now given execute authority to kill Nathan Drake.

FIGHT!!

They run at each other, David firing his M1612 shotgun and Nathan lining up his Desert-5 shots. They eventually ran out of ammo and engaged in hand-to-hand combat. Drake pulls out a Swiss Army knife with David continuing to fire his 60 round Scar-H while Nate bobs and weaves through the spacing of the assault rifle's bloom.

Nathan finally closes the distance and stab David in the ribs. David groans and stabs Drake with his Karambit. Nathan also winces but holds in his breath, shooting a full mag into David.

David stumbles back, pulling out a Semtex and throws it at Nathan but he dodges and it blows up a rock. Nathan holsters his Desert Eagle and uses his M16 in semi-auto but David is quicker on the draw of his Tac-45.

Nathan and David fire at each other. There's a moment of silence and both fall over. But Nathan stands up with David lying still. Nathn thinks about picking up the treasure but surprisingly leaves it and leaves saying this last line. "Sic Cordis Magna." He then puts his hands up and gets arrested.

KO!

=============================================================================================================

Jason: What. The. Fuck.

Ajax: This is what happens when you composite a character too much. I just wanted this to be a normal match up but sadly this is what happens.

Jason: The winner is Nathan Drake. I don't know whether or not to be mad at my own damn father.

=============================================================================================================

Jason: So Ajax, can we talk about um... y-you know..?

Ajax: The rings, right. I guess we both got so high off our asses that we went somewhere to get married, had some sex that ended spectacularly.

Jason: I only remember bits and pieces of that. God I think we're both addicted to tobbaco.

Ajax: The Lord works in mysterious ways. But there's a part of me that- Ah, forget it.

Jason: What's up, man? You seem more off than usual.

Ajax: I've just been thinking.. I have a crush on somebody.

Jason: Oh? And who might that be?

Ajax: He's around 6', happens to work here..

Jason: *Smirks* Yeah?

Ajax: And just so happens to be open to new things. Including hardcore sex.

Jason: D-do you truly mean that..?

Ajax: I've had a crush on you since we started working on this.

Jason and Ajax: *kissing for a while*

Chapter 3: Sonic VS Mickey

Summary:

Sorry for not updating this story. Got distracted by life BS

Ajax: *Plays Kingdom Hearts 3 in yoga equipment* God, these game controls are so damn rigid. I could be watching One Pi- Eh, actually..

Jason: *Wakes up in a nightgown* Morning, honey. Playing the best game that Square Enix has made?

Ajax: Yup, Kingdom Hearts 3. Like you recommend I do.

Jason: Nice. Where's Jocelyn, by the way? I haven't seen her since Wiz and Boomstick kidnapped her for Skyrim V Dark Souls. Which we fuckin' predicted by the way!

Ajax: I think she's back in Antarctica, doing the Desk Of Death Battle. Kinda sad. Wanted to tell her about you and me.

Jason: It's all right. Hey, I got an idea! Let's do Sonic from the film against King Mickey. They're pretty much alternate versions of their canon.

Ajax: Why not.

*Death Arena Music*

Ajax: Sonic Wachowski Hedgehog, the savior to Green Hill, Montana..

Jason: ..And King Mickey, ruler of the Disney Castle from Kingdom Hearts. As you can see, we are using the Movie and Kingdom Hearts versions of the characters. He's my lover, Ajax and I'm his love, Jason.

Ajax: And it's our job to analyze their blades, emeralds and skills to find out who will win a Death Arena Duel!

*Movie Sonic analysis*

Jason: We start at Green Hill. His guardian, Longclaw, was killed by strange red beings. He is sent to Earth through a warp ring and hides until he is aged to, in hedgehog terms, a teenager. He reads Flash comics. But you're not here for some backstory. You're here for abilities.

Ajax: That's right, my love. He can charge up himself using his apparently INFINITE ENERGY and turn himself into a bright blue pinball. I'm not joking, that's all it's used for. Aside from his spindash being able to pierce glass. In the second film, he can run across the water and has fully achieved the golden form of Super Sonic!

Jason: In this iteration of the story, he essentially has the power of Ultra Sonic from Archie Comics where he can wish for anything to happen except for the Super Genesis Wave reset. These powers can be made to be greatly useful in the right hands. With Sonic, so far all he's done is summon a fucking chili dog. But I have a theory! The reason Sonic has been holding back is because he's afraid of destroying the world.

Ajax: ...So anyways, after he gains the power of Super Sonic, he stops Eggman from crushing him and presumably falls to his death. Then it is revealed that his father worked on a project named.. PROJECT SHADOW?! Are you fuckin' serious? We're gonna get Shadow in Sonic 3! (Please Paramount.)

Jason: Sonic has definitely earned his spot in the video game film industry.

*King Mickey analysis*

Ajax: Welcome to the insanity-filled world of KINGDOM HEARTS! Where you can have Baymax from Big Hero 6 meet Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jason: The ruler of them all is someone made from three circles that can dominate the planet. You know him, you love him. It's King Mickey!

Ajax: He is the ruler of Disney Castle and understudy of Yen Sid. He was trained to use his keyblade with style.

Jason: His abilities are that he can stop ti- oh no.

Ajax: ZA WARUDO!!

Jason: Stop time.. Pearl and Holy, Curaga and his final move that can end any foes in the King's way.. ULTIMA!! This move uses up a large pool of energy from Mickey. However, that is a gameplay only thing but Stopza also uses a large pool.

Ajax: He also trained Sora and made sure he became a strong character. Mickey has truly become a master of magic.

*Battle Simulating... 50%... 75%... 100%*

Ajax: All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data throughout all possibilities.

Jason: It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!~~

*The Fight*

Sonic is running around so fast that he transports into a platform with a mouse's face on it. A mouse wearing a jacket appears in front of Sonic and speaks to him. "Who are you? And why are you in my heart?" Sonic is panicking and gets in a running position. Mickey summons his Keyblade, Star Cluster, ready to kill this blue Heartless.

FIGHT!

Sonic curls into his spinball form and hits Mickey's keyblade. Sonic tries to spin dash again but Mickey slashes at him, failing. Sonic finally speaks up saying "I didn't mean to arrive here. I was trying to gain more speed!"

Mickey ignores him and continues to slash at him. Sonic enters his Charged Up state and runs at Mickey with the intent to stop this mouse. Mickey tries to use Stopza but Sonic, for the first time, punches someone. Sonic runs back from Mickey and summons the Chaos Emeralds, taking a deep breath before they appear. One, two, then three, four, five, six and finally seven. Mickey tries to attack but is blown back by Sonic's transformation into Super Sonic!

Super Sonic then starts to wallop the King before Mickey yells out "STOP.. ZA!!" Sonic is frozen in place and Mickey attacks but then Sonic moves and uses his Spin Dash. He then punches Mickey while charging himself up and finally realizes that they were fighting on his heart. Sonic, not wanting to do it but has to, flies at lightspeed and destroys his heart. Mickey then dies, both on the inside and outside.

Sonic then flies as fast as he did when he entered the mouse's heart and is back in Montana, powering down and falling on his knees, crying. Suddenly, Mickey's Star Cluster appears in front of Sonic with Mickey's clothing beneath it. Sonic gets what the sword is technically saying. He puts on Mickey's clothes and holds Star Cluster but it suddenly changes into a rapier. Sonic, now filled with hope, holds his sword to the night sky proclaiming, "I will carry on your legacy, Mickey. No matter what happens."

KO!!!

*At the office*

Jason: I don't know what to think about this for Sonic's win.

Ajax: Sonic was always gonna win. Yeah Mickey could have used Ultima and spammed Stopza but once Sonic entered his Super form, there was no way for Mickey to win against this god-like power.

Jason: The winner is King Sonic Wachowski Hedgehog.

*After the post analysis*

Ajax: That went pretty fuckin' well.

Jason: I guess so. *Pulls out the wine* Wanna take a drink?

Ajax: Sure. *Drinks a fancy glass of wine* That shit do be hitting.

Jason: First time?

Ajax: Yeah, it is. God, I am... Hornily drunk.

Jason: Is that even a fuggin' thing?

Ajax: I dunno.. Wanna go to the room?

Jason: Fuck yeah. Both figuratively and literally.

Chapter 4: V VS Iroon Lad

Summary:

Cyberpunk and Marvel have a lot in common, huh..?

Ajax: *Plays the final mission of Cyberpunk on PC with mods that make the game as intended* "All right, Adam Smasher. Prepare to fucking die! This is for David Martinez, Rebecca, Maine, Jackie, every character that you've murdered!" *Uses the Malorian and Comrade's Hammer, every cyberware possible equipped* "Get fucked, Bastard Smasher.. V wins! And because he raided Arasaka alone, none of his friends had to die!"

Jason: *Reading Young Avengers line of comics, specifically where Iron Lad is* "Goddamn, Kang was cool as a teenager. Maybe if he wasn't raised by a psychopathic father with a mom who was simped after by an armored Mark 1 Iron Man, he could have become a great hero."

Ajax: "Let's put these two at their absolute best. V with all his weapons and cyberware against Iron Lad with all his arsenal, no limits!"

Jason: "Nice but we'll need some more people. Do you remember Kirito and Keyarga? Why don't we bring them in as new people to host Death Arena with? They'd be up for it. Also Kirito won't stop calling me."

Ajax: "All right, I'll bring them to this dimension, just gotta make a call. *Pulls out Spider-Verse transporter* Hey Miguel. Can we bring Kirito and Keyarga to our reality? Yes, we'll be more careful than Wiz and Boomstick. Really? Okay, thanks."

Jason: "What's the ruling?"

Ajax: "He said we could and we can let them stay without worrying about reality cracking. I'll bring them in."

Jason: "All right, I'll start up the camcorder. Let's do this one more time!"

*Death Arena Intro*

Ajax: "V, the merc that made their name known to everyone in Night City!"

Jason: "And Nathaniel Richards, the leader of the Young Avengers and future enemy to the Avengers! These two have tech that you have never seen before. So which of these two high tech badasses will have the upper hand? He's Ajax Richards, I'm J and these two are Kirito and Keyarga, stars from Redo of Healer and SAO. Wave hi, guys!"

Kirito: "Me and Ajax will be doing Iron Lad's analysis while Keyarga.. *Keyarga waves slightly* ..And Jason do V's analysis. Take it away, Ajax!"

Ajax, with Iron Lad cosplay on: "And it's our job to analyze their DS Copperheads, neurokinetic armor and intellect to find out who'll win a Death Arena Duel!"

*V's Analysis, done by J and Keyarga*

Keyarga: "The year is 2077. In Night City, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, their soul blistered by cyberware and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred they found no peace; and with a construct in his head he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the corp lords who had wronged them. They wore the crown of the Night City, and those that tasted the bite of their Mantis Blade, named them... V."

Jason: "In less cryptic terms, V was born on June 10, 2049 as a kid born in Heywood, Night City. Their backstory is, quote, 'V grew up in the Heywood District of Night City, raised by the gangs. Though they initially left for two years ago, they returned to Night City after realizing it was not going to work out. Whilst recovering from a fight in El Coyote Cojo, V agreed to help the bartender, Pepe Najarro, settle a debt with a by the name of Kirk Sawyer. In exchange for paying the debt, Kirk sent V to steal a Rayfield Aerondight from a corpo agent. After receiving a lift from their old friend Padre, V proceeded with the job,'."

Keyarga: "As they managed to enter and start the car, V was stopped by Jackie Welles, who was also attempting to steal the vehicle. However, they were quickly surrounded by the , led by officer , and were arrested. Though ordered to be executed by the vehicle's owner - Kaoru Fujioka - they were instead knocked out and left bloodied in an alleyway of . After the ordeal, V and Jackie were properly introduced, the latter revealing that Kirk's threats were actually empty. When he invited them for a meal, V hesitantly accepted, leading to their friendship.' Isn't that how yours and Ajax's friendship started? With you tryna steal his Lambo?"

Jason: "That is indeed how my friendship with him started. Except, the cops didn't arrest us, they just gave us a misdemeanor. I mean, I'll take a W any day. Anyways, after their failed job, V would go on to do a bunch of crazy shit! Hell, in a lot of outcomes, you can essentially become a demigod with how much cyberware can be equipped. For this fight we are giving each fighter everything in their arsenal! That includes Cyberware. Let's get started with V's weaponry. Keyarga?"

Keyarga: "All right, let's see what Iron Lad is gonna be forced to deal with. V's first gun is the DR5 Nova. It's basically a revolver that has 7 rounds in the chamber and it can ricochet off of walls and floors. The next is Unity. Yet another pistol that has 12 rounds in the mag. Next weapon, a DS Copperhead. This is your average futuristic AK-47. V has another custom pistol called Dying Night. Ironic, since.. Y'know. Anyways, Dying Night has 21 bullets and they curve a bit. Finally, we have the M2038 Tactician! The shotgun looks beautiful with 8 shells in the chamber."

Jason: "All right time for the first set of things, which is in the frontal cortex. Basically, where your brain does most of the problem solving and shit. A good chunk of these cyberware parts just boost V's durability or give him the ability to heal himself after he kills someone. Not very impressive. Next, the Kiroshi Optics Mk3! These allow V to zoom into far away things if he doesn't happen to be near them. After this is his Circulatory System. Essentially where your lungs exist and in 2077, your lungs are able to extend your breathing under water or even... Recover health by pumping a point on his arm? I don't know."

Keyarga: "Now for the Immune System.. All six items. Yeah, I don't know why we're bothering with these either. His nervous system doesn't really matter as well. His integumentary system allows him to be protected from Shock, Burn, Bleeding, the works. And he has an optical camouflage that lasts for around 15 seconds. Jason, since you're the expert for Cyberpunk's operating system, I'll let you take it from here."

Jason: "Alright. We'll start small with V's Biochip/Cyberdeck. The biochip obviously allows him to hack shit, including making weapons backfire or make a certain bastard's suit freeze up. Next is the Berserk upgrades. This shit is amazing since it lets you break loose and punch everyone's shit in! The Zetatech Mk 5 will be the one for this fight as it's the most powerful. Next are the Sandevistans! Oh boy this is where my Edgerunners knowledge comes into play." *Takes deep breath but suddenly time pauses with Keyarga walking in, wearing a Jotaro cosplay*

Kuyarga Kujo: "Yare yare... I didn't want you all to suffer from his nerdgasm so I'll give you guys the run down you wanted. The Sandevistan basically allows you to slow or completely freeze time. For this, we'll be using a Sandevistan similar to David Martinez's. David's Sandevistan was seemingly able to freeze time a total ten times before he was knocked out. Let's compare to V who has the Dynalar Sandevistan Mk 3. V's allows him to slow time down by 50% and slows it all for 16 seconds. Which is on par with the length of David's. Speaking of 16 seconds, mine are up so I'll just update the screenread to where I'm at in the script. Uhm.. Time resumes!" *Proceeds to run fast AF out of there to put on his regular clothing*

Jason: *Time has resumed* "So we have to start at the dawn of- Oh. We're on the Dynalar Sandevistan.. Okay. Like I'm sure Keyarga summarized, V is able to slow time around the same length David could. His hands can ricochet bullets off of walls and curve the bullets like I mentioned earlier. His feet can be upgraded by equipping these. We have the Reinforced Feet which can allow you to hover in the air for a non-specific amount of time. The Lynx Paws can make you as silent as Batman and allow you to sneak anywhere. Finally for the feet, Reinforced Tendons allow V to jump twice while in the air.. SOMEHOW. I guess we're going by TF2 rules here."

Keyarga, back in normal clothes: "His arms can also become weapons with the Mantis Blades! These sweet things allow you to become Wolverine in the future! You can even make them shock, burn or make enemies bleed. Also V can also spam-heal himself. The Monowire acts like a sort of laser whip which affects enemies the closer you are to them. The Projectile Launch System allows V to fire miniature rockets that, when in range of someone, can make some poor bastard set on fire, spasm out like they got tased or just knock them out. Finally the Gorilla Arms can have a heavy impact on a melee build. These can be set ablaze, shock someone so bad their head pops like a fucking balloon or just make them bleed.. I'm starting to see a trend with these upgrades."

Jason: "With all this power at his fingertips, there are bound to be a few flaws. V is prone to blacking out from Johnny's corruption of his systems. If it happens too often, the person with the Biochip eventually loses all vision, hearing and thought, essentially becoming emotionless. What will you choose? Will you raid Arasaka Tower with Johnny's engram guiding you? Will you sell your soul to the devils at Arasaka? Will you lead an army to attack Arasaka and remove Johnny from your bio-psyche or will he stay and leave Night City? The choice is yours, choom. Night City is a city full of big dreams. And V's a big dreamer."

*Nathaniel Richards Analysis, done by Ajax and Kirito*

Ajax: "Everybody knows who Kang the Conquerer is, right? Well, let's just ask what would happen if Kang was still a youngboy and wished to postpone the future? Enter Nathaniel Richards. If that name sounds familiar, it should because that is the distant relative of Franklin Richards, son of Reed Richards! That's right, ladies and gents, we're dealing with the great-great-great grandson of Reed MF Richards. So, what is Nathaniel Richards like? ...We don't know. All we get is that he was born in the 30th century and his distant relative is Franklin Richards."

Kirito: "Sheesh, dude. Cut the man some slack! I mean, yeah, he may become Kang but for now, he's basically just a kid. Anyway, Nate was getting the shit kicked out of him by Generic Bully from Stephen King. Here's a paraphrase of his biography. 'One day when he was being beaten up by a bully named Morgan, destiny stepped in and changed the course of young Nathaniel's life forever. At that moment the fight was interrupted by Kang the Conqueror, Nathaniel's future self. Kang had stepped in at this very moment to prevent Morgan from cutting Nathaniel's throat, an injury that nearly killed him and almost bankrupted his parents trying to treat. Kang then outfitted his younger self in Neuro-Kinetic armor and showed Nathaniel glimpses of his future where he was destined to become a time-traveling conqueror. Richards decided to renounce his destiny and used the time traveling capabilities in his armor to travel back in time and across dimensions to the modern age of Earth-616.' Okay, yeah this kid deserves all the goddamn smoke and I wield a sword that's way too high-level for me!"

Ajax: "Next chunk of his biography isn't that important since all it is just involves the entirety of Young Avengers, Original Sins, that story where Wiccan (aka my gay best friend) and Speed find their mother having been kidnapped by MF Doom, the usual."

Kirito: "I'm gonna go over his suit. It's just a carbon copy of Iron Man's Silver Centurion but without the awkward as hell shoulder pads. It's still noice to know he becomes Kang."

Ajax: "Yeah, well what isn't nice is how he is also able to cheat death! And Death is an actual lady in Marvel! He also has super strength, flight, impressive durability, everything that comes with his suit. He managed to create a stimulant at the young age of sixteen. Not as fast as Tony with creating inventions but it'll do. Yeah, like Kirito said earlier, there isn't as much for Iron Lad compared to V's massive arsenal. The reason is we're using Iron Lad with some of Kang's abilities."

Kirito: "He can also sort of time travel. By that I mean he has bases set up all throughout the timeline. He can create spikes with his neurokinetic armor if someone tries grabbing onto it. He can fly. He has a teleporter imbedded in his suit.. Yeah I think we know who the fuck boutta win."

Ajax: "Okay, clearly Iron Lad doesn't have much but this is what happens when you use one version of a character and not the "BIG KAHUNA" version of them. But at least he might hold V off with the time travel bullshit. Here's a quote from him to close this off. 'Kate, if you found out you were going to become... Adolf Hitler, wouldn't you do everything in your power to make sure it never happens?' As much as we hate him, he has a good reason for not wanting his fate to be true."

*Pre-Fight*

Ajax and Jason: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data throughout all 14,605 possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Kirito and Keyarga: "It's time for a Death Arena DUEL!!!!!!!!!!"

*The Fight*

We open on V killing another cyberpsycho, coincidentally the last one, when suddenly, a man clad in red and silver armor appears. This is Iron Lad! "Don't do this, V. Leave this all behind and I can extend your life." V thinks this over when Johnny pops up. "I smell bullshit. This guy is just trying to make us stop ending these people's already meaningless lives. Give 'em hell,, kid." V nods while Johnny dissipates. V responds. "Sorry man, but I don't have time for your bullshit. Let's do this." V cocks his M2038 shotgun while Iron Lad's repulsors hum, ready to save V from his fate.

FIGHT!!!

V shoots at Iron Lad who simply walks through the gunfire. V holsters his shotty and pulls out his DS Copperheat which should heat Iron Lad's suit up. He starts blasting but Iron Lad forms a shield from his suit and grabs V by the throat. He sets his time travel date to 2078, Night City. He also makes sure it's at the cemetery. They are then transported to that time.

*September 21, 2078*

We then appear in a ruined version of the memorial site. Iron Lad drrops V to the ground and then he sees his cache. V swipes his hand over it and inside lies his bullet necklace along with a pistol from the 2nd Amendment gun shop. Iron Lad speaks to V. "Do you want this to be your fate, VINCENT?! Because it will be if you don't get rid of Silverhand! Now hand the biochip over and things won't have to get tough." V thinks this over but... "Nah, I'm dying on my own terms, whether I die or not. I'll get rid of Silverhand soon. Also, check your arm yet?"

Iron Lad looks at his arm and sees the travel device missing, only for V to have it. "You always gotta watch the hands. My dad taught me that. Time for me to go home." Iron Lad grabs V as he puts in the date of 2099, New York. They are once again transported.

*2099, Nueva York, Train*

We then see them inside a familiar train and V shoots Nathaniel who simply blocks the shots only for V to use his Berserk and Sandevistan at the same time. TIME HAS SLOWED DOWN! V decides to hack Iron Lad's suit and deactivate its systems. He takes the helmet off of him and sees it's a teen. V still decides to go through with this. Suddenly Johnny shows up. "He looks like a younger you, V. Are you still going through with this?" "Johnny, if I don't, he continues to hunt me throughout time and space. I have to-" V is punched in the jaw by an unhelmeted Iron Lad!

"Guess your time movement device wore out, kid. I'll be taking this ba-ACKKK!!" Nathaniel was being choked by V who still had his Berserk active! "Guess you forgot somethin'. I'm still too strong for you." V then proceeds to punch Nathaniel's chest while Nathaniel grabs the time travel device and sets the date to 2023, Night City at Arasaka Tower. They travel to that point in time.

*Round 2 - V and Johnny VS Nathaniel Controlled-Adam Smasher and Iron Lad*

*Date: August 31st, Arasaka Tower, 2023*

We then see V and Iron Lad arrive inside of Arasaka Tower where Johnny and Smasher are fighting! V grabs Johnny right before Smasher crushes his skull in. Smasher notices Iron Lad who decides to rewrite his code and make him fight beside him. Johnny shakes V's hand and asks "Who the hell is the jackass in red and silver?" "Wish I knew Johnny. Oh, by the way..!" V puts his hand on his neck and places Johnny within the younger Johnny.

Johnny pulls out the Malorian. "Thanks, V. Now let's take these bastards down for good!" "Couldn't have said it better, Johnny!" Meanwhile, Adam Smasher and Iron Lad prepare their weapon systems.

F-FIGHT!!!

Johnny starts firing his Malorian at Iron Lad while V deals with Adam Smasher. Johnny shoots Iron Lad's weak points where the suit appears to be the most damaged. He once again disables Nathaniel's suit while V hacks Adam Smasher's suit to make his weapon backfire.

This ends up making both of their suits shut down. Adam Smasher dies while Nathaniel Richards opens a portal into the future and grabs a futuristic gun. He fires at the both of them while they dodge. Johnny asks V "Kid, what do we do?! We're trapped, one wrong move and we die!" V pulls out an EMP grenade and tosses it out of cover. It lands in front of Nathaniel and his suit shuts down his suit. Nathaniel takes all of the pieces off until all that's left are his boots and repulsors.

V pulls out his DR5 Nova and shoots Nathaniel in the shoulder. Nate screams out in pain and looks at V, who has no emotion behind his eyes. V loads the DR5 with two bullets, saying this. "Fifty-four years later, I'll have lost at least hundreds of friends. And you just ffffuckin watched. All high and mighty in your ship. While us other citizens had to work for where we are. If you ever lose someone, I know you'll understand." Iron Lad tries to punch the gun out of V's hand but Iron Lad is ended by three bullets from Johnny's Malorian.

V smiles and decides to pull out Iron Lad's time travel device to bring them back to 2077.

D-DOUBLE K.O.!!

*At the lab*

Ajax: "I guess V and Johnny can make one hell of a difference in a fight."

Keyarga: "All right, before everyone hangs us by a noose, hear us out. Iron Lad was comparable to Kang who has defeated Iron Man. So in a way, V and Johnny were a match for Iron Lad's armor, weapons and tech."

Jason/Kirito: "V made sure to punk Nathaniel into a Cybernetic brawl!"

Ajax: "The winner is Vincent!"

Chapter 5: Isaac Clarke VS Gordon Freeman

Summary:

Battle of the scaredy cats turned badasses.

Jason: *Playing Dead Space Remake in a biker outfit* Isaac, I love you buddy, but please stop being on drugs!

Ajax: Jason, love, why don't you try Half-Life? It's basically Call of Duty. Hell, that's what COD was based on!

Jason: Why don't we see which of them is the better protagonist?

Ajax: All right, let's do this.... In actual clothing!

Jason: Oh right!

*Death Arena Theme*

Ajax: Isaac Clarke, the man who went from engineer to Lovecraftian slaying hero from Dead Space..

Jason: ..And Gordon Freeman, the doctor that slayed multiple Race X monsters. These two are legends in the FPS genre but which of them is the better technician? He's Ajax and I'm Jason.

Ajax: And it's our job to analyze their crowbars, RIGs and PhDs to find out who will win a Death Arena Duel!

*Isaac Clarke Analysis*

Jason: In the year 2508, Isaac was sent to fix the Ishimura but everything went wrong when the Necromorphs attacked these Alien-marine knock offs. He ventures through the ship and gains a weapon called the Plasma Cutter with a 23-round magazine. Later on he gains the Force!

Ajax: No, it's just kinesis which can make heavy equipment lighter then it actually i- Okay, yeah it's the Force. His other module is a Stasis that can Za Warudo all the Necromorphs. No, it can't stop time but it can freeze the aliens in place.

Jason: There is also his RIG that has six tiers. Since we're putting them at their peak, he'll have the full suit. And he'll have a Bullpup Rifle carrying 20 SHELLS?! Look, I love guns as much as any American does-

Ajax: You're Canadian.

Jason: I love you but for the time being, shut up. Anyway, how on God's green Earth has anyone in the future made shotguns that hold 20 shells in the damn chamber? I'm sorry, honey. You may take it away.

Ajax: Thank you. Isaac has and always will be able to fight off dangerous foes. Oh and here are some feats before we go to Freeman.

Feats: Kept his sanity while surviving through multiple deadly hallucinations from Markers, Survived the Necromorph onslaught from the USG Ishimura, the Sprawl, and Tau Volantis, Caught up to a speeding bullet train, Was chewed up and spat out by a massive Necromorph

Performed brain surgery on himself, Survived a moon crashing into the planet 300 miles away from him, Defeated the Leviathan, Hive Mind, Brethren Moon

*Gordon Freeman Analysis*

Jason: May 6th, 200X and Gordon Freeman has begun the worst moment of his life. He chose to be 30 minutes late for work. Oh, and, uh, just a small thing, THERE'S FUCKING ALIENS EVERYWHERE! To clear them all out he would need a crowbar and an army's worth of guns.

Ajax: Right. His first weapon was, of course, the crowbar. Nothing too special about it. Next is the Glock 17. It doesn't even have seventeen rounds in it. He has a 9mm pistol, MP5 and MP7, Spas-12 shotgun, the list could go on forever. Hell, it literally does. He basically has the pocket dimension of guns or as Miguel O' Hara called it, "Hammerspace" or the Magic Satchel..

Jason: Gordon does have a few things like his HEV suit which can tank hits from these alien invaders. His glasses which... Give him a heads up display? They never give a lore reason for why he can see how much ammo he has left. Anyway, he has a long jump module which either A. lets him leap across large gaps or B. makes him jump super high up. Either way, pretty nifty.

Ajax: We also have some notable feats for Gordon.

Feats:

Escaped Black Mesa with no physical training. Accidentally freed the Vortigaunts from slavery, Survived 2 train derailments, Blasted his way through Xen, Nova Prospekt, and the Citadel, Survived the zombie-infested town of Ravenholm, Survived the Combine's Disintegration Field

Defeated Nihilanth, Xen Aliens, HECU Marines, the Combine, Dr. Wallace Breen

Jason: All in all, Gordon has done some insane shit and I pray to GOD that Half-Life 3 comes out in my lifespan.

*Battle Simulating... 50%.. 75%.. 100%.*

Ajax: All right, the combatants are all set and we've run the data through all possibilities.

Jason: It's time for a Death Arena Duel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~

*The Fight Between Two People Marked For Life*

We see Isaac, going through the hallways of this laboratory. He'd gotten reports that strange demonic creatures started to be heard from this place. He shoots the couple that he comes across with his Plasma Cutter in a three-round burst. He sees that some bodies are brutally crushed in, seemingly with a crowbar. Isaac starts to question if the Marker in his head is screwing with him again.

We then panel wipe to Gordon shooting off a Necromorph's arm as that seems to be the most effecient way of ending them. Our courageous heroes continue wading through these enemies until they encounter each other, the Marker making Isaac think it's a Necromorph. Isaac tries to fight off the Marker's intents but it sadly doesn't work. Isaac swaps out his weak Plasma Cutter for the Bullpup Shotgun. Gordon tilts his glasses up, readying his Glock 17 for one hell of a..

FIGHT!

They engage in a duel with Gordon shooting his Glock at Isaac's armor, hoping it would break but it doesn't. Issac goes towards Gordan and nearly kills him but thankfully, Isaac holds the Marker back which gives the confused Freeman a chance to do some damage.

Gordon grazes Isaac's left cheek with the Glock 17 and Isaac shoots Gordon in the chest. Freeman flies backwards but thanks to the HEV suit, it takes most of the impact. Gordon pulls out a .357 and anlges his shots up against the wall near Isaac who has taken his helmet off at this point to reveal his eyes being bloodshot red. Gordon then fires two shots which cut Isaac's nosebridge and the other pierces his cheekbone on both ends.

Isaac at this point is battle damaged beyond fucking belief. He, weakly, pulls out the bullpup and shoots Gordon's arm which pops off like a fucking Lego minofigure.

Isaac then shoots Gordon's other arm which was holding the .357 and just so happened to have landed in Isaac's hand.

Isaac then shoots Gordon in his skull with the .357 magnum. The Marker then recedes and Isaac sees Gordon looking like Alex Murphey in Robocop. He doesn't know what happened but he hears his wife, puts his helmet back on and ventures deeper into the facility.

KO!!

*At the office*

Ajax: I'ma 'bout to delete the Dead Space Remake off our Series X.

Jason: There's a reason Isaac has always succeded at killing Lovecraftian nightmares. Gordon certainly had the wider arsenal but Isaac is all about being light on weaponry. Let me put this into perspective; Gordon is Sam Fisher.. But Isaac is Solid Snake in a mech suit.

Ajax: The winner is Isaac Clarke..

*After the post analysis*

Jason: Ajax, what do you want for dinner? Maybe we can go to that five-star steak restaurant you told me about.

Ajax: Wherever you choose to go, I'll always go with you.

Ajax: Wha-? *Gets tackled onto the couch by Jason who immediately takes off his shirt* Are you an angel?

Jason: Shut up and kiss me, hubby.

*Ajax does so and kisses Jason with style*

Chapter 6: Trollhunter VS Jesse Craft

Summary:

Here we go!

Jason: *Watching Rise Of The Titans* Please don't Jim! Your character has been so well built up, don't throw that away for Diet Ned!

Ajax: Watching the worst thing since Live Action Death Note?

Jason: Worse. I'm watching a character who's had a great arc potentially throw it away because his friend died. At least all Jesse from Story Mode did was make a memorial for Reuben and didn't throw it all away in the final installment.

Ajax: You pull at the heartstrings, man! God I miss Minecraft Story Mode! It was so creative, interesting and beloved but sadly, Telltale is basically dead in the water. Still Not Bitten went out on a high note with The Walking Dead Telltale Final season whereas Story Mode went out on a fizzle with Jesse either leading a town or going on adventures with Petra to possibly get his sand block hard.

Jason: It's so freaking illogical! I mean, I think there's one person out there that liked Toby. Other then that, it's incredibly pointless! Toby was rarely liked, got a romance no one asked for and gets the amulet at the end!

Ajax: Why don't we pit Jesse and Jim against each other? It'll make both of us feel better.

Jason: Why not. It'll make me happier than watching this trash a second too much longer.

*Death Arena Theme*

Ajax: Jim Lake Jr., savior of Arcadia Oaks and wielder of Excalibur..

Jason: ..And Jesse Craft, the slayer of the Admin and The Wither Storm. These two have slain creatures more powerful than any other heroes. But which of them can truly save everyone? He's Ajax and I'm Jason,

Ajax: And it's our job to analyze their swords, Daylight armor and speed to find out who will win a Death Arena Duel!

*Jim Lake Jr. Analysis*

Jason: First we need to clarify something: We are covering Part 1-3, and a small portion of the movie that shall not be named. Now for the real analysis. James Lake Jr. woke up and found a mysterious amulet. This is the Amulet Of Daylight! By stating an incantation in an old language that translates to "For the glory of Merlin, Daylight is mine to command!" This incantation grants him the ability to summon the Armor and Sword Of Daylight!

Ajax: He also began to gather several gems that could be inserted into the Amulet. These gems gave the Amulet different pieces to summon like a helmet, shield, glaive and finally his sword. But there is a limit on the amulet. If Jim starts to think he failed, the Amulet will deactivate. Thankfully, Jim is really fuckin' confident. He can also summon a darker version of his Daylight armor, named the Eclipse armor along with a Sword of Darkness.

Jason: Jim has also defeated multiple foes and can cook up one hell of a meal. Morgana Le Fay is the best example of killing a goddess by himself. Morgana put Trolls and Humans against each other. She was killed by Merlin, who created the amulet that Jim has used for a good chunk of his life.

Ajax: Jim has definitely made a name for himself as the first human Trollhunter.

*Jesse Craft Analysis*

Jason: In the world of Minecraft there existed a group of five people called the Order Of The Stone. Gabriel the Warrior. Before whose sword all would tremble. Ellegaard the Redstone Engineer. Whose machines would spark an era of invention! Magnus the Rogue. Who'd channel his destructive creativity for the benefit of all! Soren the Architect. Builder of worlds and leader of the Order of the Stone. And finally, Ivor the Brewer, lead scientist of the Order of the Stone. They used a Command Block to destroy the foul Ender Dragon! And they faded into legend...

Ajax: Stop pulling at the heart! You're killing me! But yeah, that is the story of The Order Of The Stone! The main character, Jesse Craft, is most likely 6'3" and he excels with any weapon handed to him, be it a pickaxe, hoe, ax, shovel and sword.

Jason: Jesse has made sure to make a city where all Minecraft citizens are safe. Jesse also slayed the Wither Storm who threatened the world, he has killed The Admin who also threatened the world.

Ajax: All in all, Jesse is the true hero of Minecraft Story Mode.

*Battle Simulating... 50%.... 75%.... 100%*

Ajax: All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.

Jason: It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!~

*The Fight*

Jesse is fighting off some strange-looking Wardens in Ellegaard's armor when some troll-esque teenager in enhanced Netherite Armor wielding a six-foot enchanted Netherite sword. He kills both of them then they explode. The stranger speaks up. "My name is Jim. I was searching for any soldiers of Gunmar or Morgana." Jesse starts to squint and asks "I haven't heard of a Morgana but I've heard Gunmar tossed around.. Wait, you must be a soldier sent to infiltrate Beacontown! I won't let you hurt my friends" "Nonono, wait!" Jesse pulls out his Command Block Diamond Sword while Jim stumbles and wields Excalibur in one hand with Eclipse in the other.

FIGHT!

Jim and Jesse clash swords with Jim's Eclipse glowing in response to Jesse's sword. While they clash, Jim uses Excalibur to try and surprise Jesse but it backfires, resulting in Jim being blown back!

Jim summons the helmet and shield at the same time to guard himself and strikes at Jesse with Eclipse alone. Jesse blocks the sword strikes but Jim swaps out his shield for the Glaive from Angor Rot's eye. He cuts Jesse's cheek with Eclipse and uses the glaive to pierce Jesse's armor.

Jim then uses the Gravesand combined with a Kairosect then time suddenly stops for thirty minutes. Jim, enraged from the Gravesand, summons Excalibur, combining its strength with all the gems in the amulet and Eclipse, slicing up Jesse at a speed inconceivable to Jesse as he is witnessing this while frozen in time. This sound is heard over and over again: "FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING FWING" Thirty minutes have passed and time resumes.

Jesse explodes from being slashed at for thirty minutes with the Command Block Diamond Sword being buried in the ground, it's light dimming out. Jim then falls over, tired from the fight but the sun starts rising, leaving Jim to die alongside Jesse.

DOUBLE KO!

*At the office*

Jason: Wait, what?! How is that a double? Jesse died before Jim so Jim should have won.

Ajax: Well, Jim was a half-troll so he was gonna face the sunlight eventually, along with his endurance being low. In the end, Jesse would have won if he kept up the pace.

Jason: The winner is Jesse.

*After the post analysis*

Ajax: Let's see what's next on the seasonal list.. Oh fuck.

Chapter 7: Jin Sakai VS Tanjiro (Demon Slayer

Jason: "All right, Jin! Let's defeat The Treefrog, take off the helmet to show your impressive mocap and get the girl while we're at it." *Plays the Eagle's boss fight up until the acid trip* "Woah, what did I smoke? Oh wait, that's just Jin tripping off of the Eagle's acid."

Ajax: *Reading every chapter of Demon Slayer in paper* "Tanjiro is pretty damn good. Except for the fact that he gives out when he uses the Hinokami Kagura. He is still a badass in my book, considering most Shonen Protags are the same shit just with a different setting. Like Goku, who's the grandfather of Shonen as we know it. Naruto, just DBZ with tactics and ninjas. One Piece, DBZ but a young kid with black hair wants to be a king. It's all just DBZ.." *As Ajax says this he feels a Glock, most likely 19x9, to the back of his head and behind him is Akira Toriyama!

Toriyama-san: "Always has been." *Toriyama-san then disappears*

Jason: "Well, that was bizarre. Either way, Jin would be able to beat Tanjiro especially if he has the Ghost Stance or even Monkey Stance. Those new Stances were actually pretty damn impressive."

Kirito: "Somebody say the Ghost of Tsushima beats Tanjiro? Because whoever did it is getting an ass-whooping!"

Keyarga: "Listen here, you over-reactive runt-!"

Kirito: "Did I ask a question for a man who stole XP from maids who slept with him? No. So don't speak up again or I'm uploading your sex tape anonymously, got it?!"

Keyarga: "...Let's start the episode."

*Death Arena Intro*

Ajax: "Jin Sakai, defender of Tsushima and warrior shinobi!"

Kirito: "And Tanjiro Kamado, former Demon Slayer. These two are skilled with their swords and are able to use different forms of combat when dueling with another opponent. But whose blade is made more dense? These two are Ajax and Jason! I'm Kirito and this man is Keyarga! For this bout, I'll be analyzing with Jason while the sleep around goes with Ajax."

Jason: "And it's our job to analyze their katanas, Ghost Armor and Swordsmanship to find out who will win a Death Arena Duel!!!!"

*Jin Sakai Analysis, done by Ajax and Keyarga*

Ajax: "The year is 1274 and the Mongol Invasion has been underway for two years. Enter Jin Sakai! He is a warrior that was given the title of Lord Sakai after his father was murdered at the hands of Khotun Khan."

Keyarga: "So, naturally, Jin had to assemble an arsenal that could face the entire Mongol Army while also saving his father. His first weapon is the family katana. It has variable weight but it gets the job done. His next weapon is... The kunai? Okay... Um, in certain Japanese stories this weapon is famously used by ninjas. He has smoke bombs which can mask wherever Jin decides to hide. I feel like there's something here.."

Ajax: "Okay. Black powder bombs are essentially just bombs that can be ignited by a flame-tipped bow. Speaking of range, he has a blowdart that can make his opponents sick. He can also fight in certain styles of combat like Stone which relies on him cutting through his enemies head on. Water uses a flurry of attacks which can weaken armored Mongols. Wind makes him move smoothly and swap between enemies like he's on some Arkham Batman shit. Finally, there is the Moon stance. This may be his strongest stance yet as, with this, he has the ability to pummel enemies with unbridled rage!"

Keyarga: "But wait, there's more! There is the Ghost stance. This might just be the most impressive of Jin's stances as with this, Jin enters a black-and-white state where he can kill four people while they are struck with fear. This would be a pinnacle in defeating the bastard, Khotun Khan!"

Ajax: "After killing Khotun Khan and his former friend Ryuzo, Jin was ordered by Lord Shimura to come to where he trained the young Sakai. The Khan, before his death, had put a bounty on the Ghost and ordered Lord Shimura to do this. After an intense duel, Jin is presented with a choice. Kill his Master thus honoring his wishes or will he spare him? It depends on your general moral compass. Nothing really happens afterward except for Iki Island which, SPOILERS, Jin's original father, Kazumasa Sakai, was here before. He committed mass genocide and told his soldiers to bring him fifty heads. I see why he kicked the bucket early. Anyway, the Eagle tries drugging Jin but he's able to mentally fight it off."

Keyarga: "Jin Sakai may be strong and skilled but he isn't invincible. He's mortal despite being terrifying as fuck, he must kill enemies to regain Renown (the ability to heal himself), a limited amount of supplies, and his Ghost Stance only kills four people. But he certainly has some feats! He survived being pushed off a bridge that was high above water, sneaked out of jail without armor and weapons, solved a massacre and killed multiple bosses like the Eagle, Khotun Khan, Ryuzo and Lord Shimura."

Ajax: "Jin Sakai is a badass samurai and he deserves to be in Playstation All-Star Battle 2!"

*Tanjiro Kamado Analysis, done by Jason and Kirito*

Jason: "Tactful. Avenging. Newfound. Justified. Intangible. Restless. Optimal. These all describe the Demon Slayer, Tanjiro Kamado! We know his story; parents murdered by a demon, sister was a half demon, dreams of a world safe for humanity, yada yada. But today, we'll be analyzing his stuff after all of that. Still can't believe he lost to Jonathan Joestar."

Kirito: "All right, let's start with his weaponry! He, of course, wields a Nichirin Blade which can decapitate a demon with the power of breathing! But, when activating his Demon Slayer Mark, it becomes bright red and cuts a demon well enough that their healing is slowed down. Next.. Oh shit, that's all? Okay.. His breathing can also be mixed with one another."

Jason: "This is where my lung training comes back after so many months! Water's first form is the Water Surface Slash in which the user generates momentum to create one singular powerful blow! Second form is the Water Wheel where the user leaps leading into a vertical spin that can release a flowing cut. Third form shall be Flowing Dance! This one allows the user to swing their blade to the point where it feels like the wind is attacking the target. Five makes Tanjiro swing his blade at a demon's head if they've surrendered, six creates a whirlpool where air cannot escape, seven thrusts the sword into their target's chest, eight cuts them in half Darth Maul style, nine only works on a fucking mountain, and ten creates a water dragon! I'm gonna pass out now..." *Falls flat on the studio floor* "Finish the rest Kirito I am tired.."

Kirito: "Oh shit.. Okay, let's analyze his sun breathing and then we'll call it in since we've been recording this shit over the course of three nights. First fire style is.. Dance where Tanjiro delivers a powerful slice! Clear Blue Sky has Tanjiro spin forwards in a full 360! Third is where he can slash up and down twice, four can protect him from four different attacks, five backflips and cuts open someone's chest... Ryu copying ass... six stabs the opponent in the chest, seven creates a flaming japanese dragon that cuts a demon's head, eight spins down in a circle, nine can create afterimages and distract opponents for a short time, ten cuts sideways and down, eleven creates two flame-like slices and cuts his enemy in an X-style shape, twelve allows him to endlessly strike his enemies until he strikes a Count Dooku-esque pose and finally thirteen combines every move in his fiery mind!"

Jason: "Tanjiro Kamado has certainly earned a spot in the Gen Three and the Hashira crew! Considering there aren't many left."

Kirito: "NANI?!-"

*Pre Fight*

Ajax/Keyarga: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through every possibility! Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Jason/Kirito: "It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!~"

*The Fight*

We open after InoKatWard and Tanjiro has heard of a man murdering Mongols and Demons without permission from the Demon Slayer Corps. So Tanjiro grabbed two blades; his original Nichirin Blade and Rengoku's blade that was gifted to him after visiting the Swordsmith Village.

After days of traveling and killing demons, he arrived at a Mongol site where he saw a man wearing a strange ghostly outfit. This was Jin Sakai! When he turned, he said "Young man, please leave. You have no reason to be here." Tanjiro simply unclipped his blades and Jin sighed, knowing this teenager's death would be imminent.

FIGHT!!!

Tanjiro drew his all-black Nichirin Blade while Jin drew his Sakai Blade. They clashed and Tanjiro was focusing his breath while Jin held an aggressive facial expression under the mask. They pulled away from each other and Tanjiro said "Ju no kata: Seisei Ruten!" Suddenly a water dragon appeared and Tanjiro began spinning faster and faster as time went on!

Tanjiro struck at Jin who tried to block the hit but he was blown away by the water dragon which seemed alive. Tanjiro stood still and said "Hinokami Kagura, Heki-ra no Ten!" He began spinnig in a wheel shape and Jin blocked it for a few seconds before he began to realize this was the famous Tanjiro Kamado! He'd heard of him before but didn't realize that this was him! He also realized that the fight was pointless. He knew that even if he could keep up with Tanjiro, they would both tire out.

He was interrupted in his thoughts by Tanjiro stabbed him in the ribcage with Rengoku's katana.. Jin winced and backed away quick as possible and held his blade in both hands, signaling that he has fully surrendered. Tanjiro stopped his attacks and saw this to which he asked "Why are you surrendering?" Jin looked up at him. "You are the superior swordsman. I allow you to kill me."

Tanjiro began to feel tears but shook them away, offering Jin a bit of medical cloth. Jin hesitantly took the cloth and applied pressure upon his wounds. Jin asked the young Demon Slayer, "Why would you assist me? I gave you the chance to kill me." Tanjiro finally spoke up. "I dream of a bright future where the people I love are smiling until the day they depart for heaven. I hope that they will live happily and I pray that they will live safely without fear. Even if I'm no longer there. I want them to live. To live their lives to their fullest. I'm sure if you were me, you'd say the same thing." Jin smiled heartily, knowing his and Tanjiro's goals were similar, even if his intentions were for more aggresive reasons.

Jin asked for a hand up and Tanjiro decided to bring him to the Butterfly House, knowing they could treat him and murder Khotun Khan together.

*A Break Between The Fights*

Tanjiro and Jin finally arrived at the Butterfly House where Inosuke, Zenitsu, Nezuko and all the Demon Slayer Corps currently resided. Jin looked at all these people questioning something. "Why are there so many people here? I thought the Slayer Corps was spread out across Japan." Muichiro came forward and started to explain what was happening. "The reason everyone is here is because Muzan is in Tsushima. We're all gearing up to strike him."

Jin gasped in shock. He didn't think Khotun AND Muzan were in the same part of Japan! Then a few of the ladies that trained Tanjiro came out of the hospital room, seeing Jin heavily injured. They took him inside the hospital area and fully treated him. After a few hours, Jin was healed up and ready to take down both the Khan and Muzan Kibutsuji. Tanjiro came forth and handed Jin a new blade. This was Tanjiro's original Nichirin Blade. He was also given a kitsune mask that could ward off Demons. He equipped this to his belt and put the katana in the sheath.

A few months have passed and Jin had learned the Sun Breathing from Tanjiro while learning Water Breathing from Muichiro and Giyu who were naturals at this. They were called back in to start the raid on Muzan and Khotun Khan..

K.O.!

Kirito: "So.. Who won this bout? I mean, sure Tanjiro made Jin bleed but they just became friends."

Ajax: "This match was way too complicated and emotional for us to end it there. So we made Jin surrender while Tanjiro had successfully made the Ghost of Tsushima bleed. Also, there were just way too many possibilities for this type of crossover so we'll see what happens."

Keyarga: "There is also the fact that if we just made Tanjiro a blood-hungry bastard, that would be far too out of character for our cinnamon roll of a protagonist to suddenly crave blood. We've got Winnie-The-Poo for that type of shit."

Jason: "Tanjiro was finally able to make a Demonic Ghost bleed like he was trained to do."

Ajax: "The winner is Tanjiro Kamado! After this, we'll be bringing you a bout of spies duelling against each other."

Keyarga: "In case you didn't get the hint, next fight is Spy VS Agent 47. You know that you can reveal matchups, right?"

Ajax/Jason: "We like to have some mystery for our fights."

Chapter 8: The Spy VS Agent 47

Ajax: "These two are masters of infiltration and sometimes even assassination. But which of these two are able to breach a base's defenses? Spy, the suave yet foul mouthed gentleman from Team Fortress 2!"

Jason: "And Agent 47, the world's greatest assassin in a flamingo suit from Hitman. For this, we'll be putting them at their absolute peaks which means Spy gets his comics while Hitman gets all his games! Oh God, please give me coffee. He's Ajax and I'm Jathon..!"

Ajax: "And it's our job to analyze their Enforcers, two-piece suits and marksmanship to find out who would win a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!! Oh and if you're wondering where Keyarga and Kirito are, they're setting up for their show where they're gonna review anime as they watch them. Self Promotion sucks."

*The Spy Analysis*

Jason: "We all know the story of Team Fortress 2 mainly through its cinematics. But there's always going to be a figure that lurks around the corner. This man would soon be known as the Spy or his real name which is unknown to this day."

Ajax: "There are two versions of Spy - RED and BLU - but for this, we'll just be using him as he is. Let's begin! 'Hailing from an indeterminate region of France, the Spy is an enthusiast of sharp suits and even sharper knives. Using a unique array of cloaking watches, he can render himself invisible or even fake his own death, letting him infiltrate enemy lines with little chance of detection. His Disguise Kit lets him impersonate any class on either team. With enough skill in the art of deception, the Spy can momentarily fool enemies with their disguise, lulling them into a false sense of security. When the time is right, he can emerge from the woodwork to strike a killing blow, stabbing his unsuspecting "teammate" in the back. In fact, a swift backstab with any of the Spy's knives will kill most foes in a single hit - provided they are not under the effects of any type of invulnerability, or some other form of immense damage reduction.' So he's essentially James Bond mixed with half of Jason Bourne... Neat I guess?"

Jason: "At least he wasn't created by God to let women fall in love with him. Seriously, why is that part of the lore for Scout? Anyway, Spy certainly has a lot of pistols and knives on him. His base revolver and the Big Kill don't give any massive advantages to him. Ambassador lets him critically headshot an enemy. L'Etranger extends his cloaking and a 15% larger charge for his cloaking. His Diamondback gives a crit shot for each backstab. These revolvers aren't half bad. Where is Spy anyways? We haven't seen him much."

Spy: *Appears from his cloaked mode* "Bonjour, mon amis! Ah, I see we are analyzing my weaponry? You're on the knives. May I take this one, my friends?"

Ajax & Jason: "You're the expert on your equipment so sure."

Spy: "Thank you, gentlemen. Now, I have a standard issue Butterfly Knife that Scout couldn't even spin. I have a silver and gold Prinny Machete that can make Jason Voorhees blush, an Oscar statue that I'm able to stab people in the back with, a Golden Frying Pan that was once given away by a frog, a push dagger acquired from Ezio Auditore, another Butterfly-style knife, an ancient dagger and a kunai that has a throwing velocity of around 38 miles per hour. And I can execute someone by doing two quick slashes and a thrust into their lungs or heart."

Ajax & Jason: "OH MY GOOOOD!!"

Ajax: "Damn it, now I want a cool outfit."

Jason: "Hon, you already do. Yourself."

Ajax, blushing like hell: *Kisses Jason*

Jason: *Also kisses Ajax*

Spy: "Aye yi yi.. Somebody shoot me already. Anyways, I also have special watches. My first three only last for around ten seconds. My favorite, however, is my Cloak And Dagger watch which makes me one-hundred percent invisible. I, however, cannot keep the charge going forever. Once the battery is out, I have to recharge it. And I've had a bad history with shotguns to my head, so that can successfully kill me."

Jason: "We weren't expecting you to come on, Spy. Thanks for helping!"

Spy: "No problem, my friends. I'll see you for the winery trip?"

Ajax: "We sure will, Spy! *chuckles* Also, can you set up our table at the winery?"

Spy: "Let me guess, you gentlemen are too poor to set it up yourselves?

Ajax & Jason: "No. We're just very busy with our job. And also, why'd you immediately assume we were poor?"

Spy: "I mean.. You guys are.. You know.. G-" *Gets shot in the head by Jason holding a Mossberg 500*

Ajax: "Woah! Holy shit, JASON! Wait.."

Spy: *Starts turning from blue to red*

Jason: "I fuckin' KNEW IT!"

*Agent 47 Analysis*

Ajax: "In 1950-something, five men were kidnapped and this shady company called The ICA took samples from each of their blood. A doctor at the ICA then began to create clones. 46 of them, in fact. The final one was simply known as 47 Why is he known as 47? Because of the barcode on the back of his Mr. Clean looking ass head. This is what the barcode reads. "640509-040147". He was born/created by the ICA on September 5, 1964"

Jason: "Here's another sad thing about 47.. 'From ages five to seven, 47 was quiet and showed little social interaction. His only display of affection was towards a runaway laboratory rabbit he adopted on August 21, 1970, displeasing Dr. Ort-Meyer. However, it died on May 2, 1972. Ort-Meyer noticed 47 crying and was surprised, as he'd never seen any of his clones do so before. Five years later, 47 also showed affection to a pet mouse. He cared for the mouse for about a month, until it was killed by a fellow clone as a cruel prank.' So yeah, safe to say 47 isn't exactly the happiest person. He's also had his memory wiped away by Ort-Meyer of another clone named 6 who tried to help him escape but with no success."

Ajax: "His absolute highest priority is completing his contract. He generally avoids collateral damage as a professional assassin, although he will not hesitate if he has to incur any. He is emotionally closed off to the suffering of others when appropriate on a contract, even if they remind him of himself at a younger age. Vocally, he rarely raises his voice, choosing to speak in a calm and relaxed manner at all times. When speaking to another person, he can perfectly mask his true intentions (whatever they might be) and fool the other party with no effort; one of his many strengths is being an expert conversationalist. In addition to that, he can blend into the crowd and adapt his personality to suit any situation, and play the role of another person with the utmost efficiency and credibility, like a "Wolf in Sheep's clothing." He is content with being alone but has a deep if unexpressed admiration for the few people he becomes close to, especially Diana Burnwood, Fr. Emilio Vittorio, Helen McAdams, Victoria and Tommy Clemenza. Agent 47 also shows uncharacteristic sensitivity towards animals that he keeps as pets, such as his childhood rabbit and mouse he found from the asylum itself, and the yellow canary in Blood Money though he is forced to kill it in the cut-scene before Requiem in order to avoid giving his position away. He very rarely shows the same care towards human beings, though notable exceptions include Mei Ling, Father Vittorio, and Victoria (whom 47 and Diana treat sort of like a daughter). He also expressed his disgust at exploiting innocent people, as mentioned during the briefing in Death Factory, when he lamented at how Travis and Blake Dexter used "children as weapons"."

Jason: "Finally, we arrive at his weaponry. His skills boil down to being an expert at driving, assassination, disguises, the sorts. His guns are where this gets strange. He has a suppressed .22 Magnum, the SPAS 12 pump-action shotgun, a folding knife, coins to distract civilians, the beautiful MP5, the Dragunov SVD and 34 ICA then finally, we have an AMT Hardballer without a big-ass laser on it."

Ajax: "He has wielded a katana and Tonfa but if they aren't listed, they aren't used. Agent 47 certainly is one hell of a spy and hopefully, he gets a good film someday."

*Pre-Fight*

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are armed and we've run the data through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all."

Jason: "It's time for a STEALTH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~"

*The Fight*

We open on Spy securing the castle where his team operates from. He notices something about the base though.. None of his teammates are currently here even though they're supposed to be. We then cut to Agent 47 on a far away building getting ready to snipe Spy. 47 was told to assassinate a red-masked Frenchman. Spy thankfully notices the sniper glint and dodges the bullet just barely, commencing the..

FIGHT!

47 grunts, grabbing onto a zipline that was going toward the base. Spy noticed this and shot the roping out with his Diamondback revolver. 47 began falling and used his Fiber Wire to hold onto the side of the building. But he continued falling until he landed in a garbage bin. He crawls out while Spy takes out his kunai and throws it towards the recovering Agent 47 who narrowly dodges the thrown weapon.

47 pulls out the .22 magnum which has a suppressor on it. But since he has no need to be quiet, he pulls off the suppressor. He shoots Spy in the shoulder which clearly makes him lose his balance. Spy runs away with 47 close on his tail. 47 starts thinking, "Thick walls and loads of protection. Even the strongest chain has a weak point, and I'll find this one. But I better consider each step I take in this squeaky, old castle."

Spy has started to apply some medical equipment to his wound. Spy is interrupted by a SPAS 12 shotgun nearly hitting him. This was 47! They begin to engage in hand-to-hand but Spy tries assassinating 47 right then and there. 47 stops this and stabs Spy in the ribcage which clearly injures the red Spy. Spy retreats to think of a plan that can distract Agent 47. He pulls out the Disguise Kit and disguises himself as Dr. Ort-Meyer.

Agent 47 comes around the corner where Spy was hiding to see his doctor there. 47 clearly sees through the disguise and shoots Spy in the leg. At this point, Spy might as well be a test dummy with how many bullet holes and knife wounds are visible. 47 smirks in an unsettling way and takes out a poison syringe. He injects Spy with it, knowing that the effects will take hold soon. Spy tries fighting off the poisoning but it kills him with Agent 47 walking away from the sight, but...

He began to monologue about his journey. "I always knew I didn't belong in this world. I wasn't made for this. But I'll never forget- those who betrayed me, and those who never failed my trust. I'll be carrying nothing but this lesson: never trust anyone and rely on your instincts. Forget the past. I'll never find peace here. So, I'll seek justice for myself. I'll choose the truth I like."

K.O.!

*At the lab*

Jason: "Well, shit. I honestly didn't think Hitman was gonna have this in the bag."

Ajax: "There's a reason so many people hire Agent 47 while the Spy is stuck at a factory with eight psychopaths. This fight would go on for a while but with Hitman's larger catalog of weapons, Spy's only chance to kill Hitman was when he disguised himself as the Doctor that created him. Hitman, however, isn't as gullible as the Spy's teammates."

Jason: "In the end, Hitman was just much more prepared."

Ajax: "The winner is Agent 47!"

Jason: "The next fight will be a JoJo Legend fighting a Nickelodeon Legend!"

Rohan Kishebe VS Timmy Turner

For the next fight, we're only going to be using canon Rohan. Same with Timmy even if he has some crossovers.

*After the episode*

Ajax: "God, we need to clean up. But I'm sure Wiz has got something to take care of it. For now, we get drunk and fuck!"

Jason: "Agreed on both of those. *Pulls out vodka* We serve the Soviet Fuckion! Wait, do you hear that?" *Faint clapping* "I haven't touched the vodka yet, right?"

Ajax: "You haven't. And it's coming from Wiz and Boomstick's office? Let's check on them. They're practically our landlords after all."

Chapter 9: Rohan Kishibe VS Bitch-ass Runt

Ajax: Timmy Turner, an average kid no one understands with fairly odd parents.

Jason: Rohan Kishibe, the famous and passionate mangaka with a stand from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, part 4.

Ajax: Imagination is a wonderful thing. It is the bedrock of inspiration and creativity, and many people have become famous through their ideas built from them.

Jason: Of course, when you get either magic fairies or magic soul manifestations given through magic arrows, then that imagination basically becomes real. But who's got a bigger knack for creative thinking and making what they desire happen? He's Ajax and I'm Jason!

Ajax: "And it's our job to analyze their paintbrush, superhero suit, and artistry to find out who would win a Death Arena Duel!"

*Rohan Kishibe Analysis*

Jason: "That's right, we're back in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! And this time we will be talking about the famous mangaka that breaks the world itself, Rohan Kishibe! This man is everything me and Ajax desire to be. We want to have people read our stories for the sake of reading them, not the money!"

Ajax: "This mother f'er had his stand when he was in his younger years. Most likely before Reimi was murdered. Reimi is Rohan's old babysitter who was killed by Yoshikage Kira. So yeah, Rohan technically knows a ghost. His stand is named Heaven's Door and this shit is broken beyond belief! You don't believe me? Check this shit out! One time, a fat dude was in the middle of the street and two trucks were approaching on both sides of him at full speed and Rohan sent out Heaven's Door to transform this obese man into a book! ALL WHILE THE TRUCKS ARE HURDLING TOWARDS HIM! This may not seem like much but, when you consider that Giorno's 7-Page MUDA took place over the course of nine hours, that's when you know shit can get serious!"

Jason: "Here's something that only gods could pull off! During the Made In Heaven event, Rohan was working on his manga and time was accelerating so that means Rohan had to have been writing faster then the ink could fucking dry! This man is able to make 19 pages at most in under four whole days! He could likely make a volume book in under two weeks. By removing pages, Rohan causes his target to lose any memories detailed there, along with a proportionate quantity of body mass. Should Rohan receive a substantial amount of physical damage or be knocked near unconscious, the removed pages will automatically return to their original source."

Ajax: "Oh! Here's another goodie; Written-in commands. Let's say you're afraid of spiders and Rohan happens to be nearby? He could force you to hold a spider and look it dead in the eyes and adopt it as if you owned it. Of course these can run off at some point. He's done other shit like this too. Rohan's target will obey commands written into them closely, even against mental resistance for example, despite a phobia of immolation, Okuyasu was forced to hold a lighter to himself. Other impressive feats include commanding Josuke to fly backwards at 70 km/h around 43 mph or allowing Koichi to speak Italian. He has the good version of the fucking Death Note. He can also write commands on himself like if Josuke were to try and heal him, he could write 'Higashikata Josuke will not and cannot heal me' or 'Hirose Koichi cannot enforce his Stand abilities on me' just to give an idea of what he could do."

Jason: "He also has.. A Gucci bag stand which he inherited from his grandmother? This bag can apparently hold multiple items there and whenever Rohan is in danger, he could pull out a gun or sword he had hidden in the bag. This man could hide a whole-ass horse in the bag and he could pull it out in the middle of a battle! I knew Rohan had connections but his is ridonculous even by our standards. Incidentally, his skill also gives him the necessary arm speed to draw a paper sheet off his desk even before Crazy Diamond can complete a punch. Keep in mind, Crazy Diamond's punches are likely comparable to Star Platinum and Stone Free's speed which is around 1,500x the speed of light. He was also able to throw pen nibs with such speed that they pierced Josuke's skin during their initial encounter."

Ajax: "Rohan does have his limits. Like with most stand users, if he's fighting another stand or takes damage, that damage is reflected on Heaven's Door except for when it doesn't. Heaven's Door is also a close-range stand which means the distance that it can cover is very short. But all in all? Rohan Kishibe is one tough mangaka and you wouldn't want to get on his Stand's bad side."

*Timmy Turner Analysis*

Jason: "Have you ever been bored and felt like your life was fucking miserable? Well, Timmy Turner tops all of that! His parents were ignorant and his babysitter was an absolute piece of shit so the Fairy Council (that is real) decided to send two of their best fairies to make him happy! These were Cosmo and Wanda, his fairy godparents! These little shibes are the one and fucking only reason people liked Timmy in the first five seasons. Either that or because he's technically 60 years old in a ten year old body."

Ajax: "First, Timmy was selfish after season six so I'm going to shut that theory down right now. Second, the wish that no one aged has been removed since Timmy's Secret Wish so he's still gonna be aging up. Also, we will not take the Nicktoons crossovers since they aren't mentioned by Timmy at all in the main series nor will we be concerned with Da Rulez. The only reason those exist is because Timmy wasn't allowed to have unlimited magic or Stando power! We'll get into the stand stuff at the end. But yeah, time to bust open a cold one and list EVERY WISH THAT TIMMY TURNER HAS MADE. *Brings in a 12-pack of milk* Trust me, I'll need this." *Deeply inhales but then Jason speaks up*

Jason: "Or, instead of wasting time on one-off wishes, we can focus on the ones which could assist in battle."

Ajax: "True. He wished for forty-four and a half clones of himself. He's wished for a supersuit, invisibility, a giant laser, and a spacesuit with a gun! Oh damn, Timmy! Don't pull out the 1911!"

Jason: "So yeah, Timmy's more combat-centric wishes aren't that impressive but he's only ten so that makes sense. Timmy Turner eventually reached 23 years old aka an adult and you would think his fairies are gone by now, right? NOPE. HE HAS PERSISTENTLY ACTED LIKE A TEN YEAR OLD BOY FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS. At this point, I'm done. Time for Timmy to get stomped out like a pack of milk. Let's end this fucker once and for all!"

Ajax: "It's time for Timmy's funeral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~"

*The Fight*

The date is June 25th, 2000 and Rohan Kishibe has just booked a flight to Dimmsdale, USA. Why would a great mangaka like Rohan be concerned with a small American town? Well, he just so happened to hear there was a eleven-year old boy that lived in that town so he decided to investigate, knowing this child could be a stand user. Once he arrived, he began knocking door-to-door to find the Turner's home. All of the citizens there were apparently scared of a teacher who had been convinced Timmy had ghosts behind him.

Rohan, obviously being intrigued by this, went to Dimmsdale Police Department and there, in a cell, stood Denzel Crocker. He showed Rohan drawings of thse ghosts behind Timmy but Rohan asked something. "Would you have had a stand before?" Crocker tries summoning his fairies but they won't appear and Rohan just assumes he did but lost them. He had became just like Joseph Joestar, who was dealing with dementia. He asked Crocker where this Timmy Turner lived. Crocker gave him Timmy's address and Rohan thanked him, getting ready to use Heaven's Door.

Once Rohan arrived, he knocked on the Turner's home door and three people came towards the door. That was Mr and Ms. Turner and the one he'd been looking for, Timmy Turner. Timmy recognized Rohan since he read Pink Dark Boy which made him stumble since Rohan didn't think a TEN YEAR OLD would be able to handle that type of story. He asked the parents if he could speak with Timmy and they allowed it since they really didn't care what Timmy did at this point. Timmy winced a bit but went with Rohan to Tonio's Pastry which somehow had a restaurant in America.

Before they arrived at the restaurant, Rohan quietly summpned Heaven's Door to read Timmy's memory and what Rohan saw was indescribable. He saw two fairies in Timmy's mind often and saw an abundance of summoned things. He didn't think there was someone who had such a powerful stand as he himself did. He grabbed Timmy's shoulder when suddenly, two fairies named Wanda and Cosmo appeared! Timmy turned around, trying to slap Rohan which didn't work. Rohan summoned Heaven's Door saying, "If this is how I must see your Stands in action, then so be it!"

FIGHT FOR CREATIVITY

Rohan runs toward Timmy who quickly wishes for 43 clones of himself. Now there were too many for Rohan to check so he uses HD to fly through all of them. Then HD hits the one n the middle and Rohan smirks alongside his Stand.

Timmy tries wishing that Rohan cannot affect him but he says it too late and Rohan manages to grab him by running fast to him and opens Timmy's face. He copies all of Timmy's information onto a large amount of papers but then Timmy punches Rohan in the gut, sending him flying.

Rohan pukes a small amount of blood and decides to use the secret technique Josuke used on him.. RUN AWAY! Rohan began gunning it to the airport smirking since Timmy would obviously wish for him to be teleported back to him but interestingly, Timmy just stands there motionless. Rohan has a look of confusion on his face and walks back to Timmy. He asks Timmy, "Why didn't you wish me back towards you? You easily could have done that."

Timmy sniffles and looks up at Rohan saying "All my parents ever do is work while I'm left alone with no one to have fun with. I just wanted to have a good summer." Rohan feels his heart hurt, knowing he experienced something similar with Reimi Sugimoto. He put his hand on Timmy's shoulder and asked "Would you like to be adopted? I know I almost beat the crap out of you, but I think you'd be better off without those poor excuses for parents." Timmy's face perked up but suddenly Cosmo and Wanda popped out. "Timmy, if you take the offer, you'll have to give us up." Rohan became confused. "I don't understand. Why can't you stay with him? One of my friends are miserable and their Stand hasn't disappeared." Wanda begins explaining that if Timmy ever doesn't need them, they'll go on to find children that are more miserable then him.

Rohan's face shifts to one full of anger "I UNDERSTAND YOUR SUPPOSED FAIRY COUNCIL MADE YOU TWO MAKE AN AGREEMENT... BUT I ELECT THAT YOU TWO IGNORE IT!" Cosmo and Wanda flinch backward from Rohan's unload of anger onto them. Timmy looked at the two fairies and began the ritual. "Cosmo Turner and Wanda Turner, I am satisfied." The two fairies dearingly smile at the boy and begin fading out of existence when suddenly, Timmy is struck with a Stand arrow!

K.O.!

*Back at the office*

Ajax: "I know we usually go over the fight and how it went but that was downright cruelty. Jason, why'd you do that?"

Jason: "If he's giving up two magical fairies, why not give him a stand? Anyways, we kind of expected the fight to end through the power of friendship and this bow 'n' arrow I found."

Ajax: "The winner is Rohan Kishibe!"

Chapter 10: JoJo VS Dark Souls

Summary:

(Giorno Giovanna VS Chosen Undead)

Ajax: "Strong desires. It's what mostly every hero has. Whether to protect those they love, become the very best, or grow even stronger, they will stop at nothing to fulfill that dream."

Jason: "And these two are the most determined. But only one will get their goals fulfilled!"

Ajax: "Giorno Giovanna, the son of Dio wielding the life-giving Gold Experience Stand."

Jason: "And the Chosen Undead, wielder of the Moonlight Greatsword. He's Ajax and I'm Jason."

Ajax: "And it's our job to analyze their Stands, designer clothes, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!"

*Chosen Undead Analysis*

Jason: "Our story begins at the end. The gods are dead, humanity has become naturally undying through a mark and they all simply wished to die. That's the problem. They can't."

Ajax: "Yeah, that's certainly an issue. See, this campfire named the First Flame was lit by many legends in the story of the Dark Souls timeline. But there were a few champions that have managed to defeat godly beings. From a man who wore nothing but an iron pot, loincloth and two swords, to the Tarnished, to the Chosen Undead! This man was simply in a cell with an overhead cell opening when a knight without a face dropped into the cell.. He gave his set of armor to the undead champion and thus began the Chosen Undead's journey of pure fighting."

Jason: "At first, this Cali raisin may not seem special but he was an expert with every type of weapon (except guns because duh) and whoo, boy! Do we have quite the arsenal to go over? He is able to wield many weapons like swords, hammers, axes and surprisingly enough throwing knives. I shouldn't really be shocked by this but I am nonetheless!"

Ajax: "Huh, a guy with a gray area of effect and they attack, mocking their enemies because they can't attack fast enough? KONO CHOSEN DA! But aside from being powerful, they have a bow that has the ability to one-shot dragons! These bastards are stronger than the Chosen Undead by a bit but thankfully the Chosen Undead has the ability to roll around, sometimes it even bends the laws of reality by dodging full-on deadly blows like being stabbed by a statue or even a man who sent lightning at him. He has a form of magic which cannot replenish itself. His magical options are surprisingly impressive!"

Jason: "Yeah, but they're just improved versions of their previous magic enhancements like Sora and the KH Mickey. The estus flask has a potentially infinite supply but gameplay-wise, they are finite as hell! This is why I voted for Elden Ring for GoTY. He can set you ablaze with the abundance of pyromancy he has! Ironically, he makes California look like a joke. As mentioned before, he has an entire medieval army's worth of weaponry and this Red Bloodstone Ring which lets him hit harder the closer he is to being dead. A firebomb which acts like a molotov cocktail, a all-black version of the same molotov cocktail like the Ameterasu from Naruto and finally some gold pine resin which makes his abundance of weapons deal electric damage. The Chosen Undead has definitely fought his fair share of bosses which scale from a small building all the way to a city block!"

Ajax: "Yeah, while that is all fine and dandy, the Chosen Undead isn't without his weaknesses. If his weapons are used extensively, they eventually break. Certain magics and consumables cannot be used once they run out and he can't stack the effects of his buffs that come from the magic or foods. But even with his faults, the Chosen Undead is one of the most iconic characters in FromSoftware history and if you encounter him, pray to God his mind hasn't been drained by the bonfires or you are already dead."

'Thou who art Undead, art chosen... In thine exodus from the Undead Asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of Ancient Lords... When thou ringeth the Bell of Awakening, the fate of the Undead thou shalt know...'

*Giorno Giovanna Analysis*

Jason: "How many times are we gonna use JoJo's in fights against significantly stronger characters? Eh, fuck it. 1983, DIO was hiding out in Cairo or Egypt and four women were wooed by him so well that he has four kids. One of them is Haruno Shiobana or rather Giorno Giovanna!"

Ajax: "After experiencing a horrific childhood with an asshole of a father but a kindish mother, -sound familiar?- Giorno would meet this mysterious gangster and help him. Two months pass and that man makes Giorno's life a LOT better. His father no longer abuses him, he was popular and he had gained his Stand! This stand is named Gold Experience and this shit is the epitome of overpowered! This has the ability to give life to motionless things, make people move slower like The World, replacing and creating organs from bullets or swords and has a wide variety of potential! There are a few kicks with this however. He can regrow organs but it's fucking painful!"

Jason: "Bingo. But in his final fight against the Boss of Passione aka Diavolo, there was an arrow carried by a Chariot Requiem. Yeah, Polnareff became a turtle and his stand couldn't be controlled. The tip of the arrow flies through the air and Giorno catches it. He then proceeds to stab the arrow into himself and Gold Experience, causing them to float in the air! Everyone present except GioGio and his stand are in pure silence. Then suddenly, Giorno's Stand cracks open revealing the new form of Golden Experience Requiem! This becomes the most ruthless fight in JoJo history, right up there with Jotaro VS Dio!"

Ajax: "Let's get into this mess of a Stand that Araki created! First off, the stats are non-existent because there are no stands that can be compared to GER! Second, this allows Giorno to fly high in the air above everyone! If an opponent is killed by Gold Experience Requiem, then they will continuously experience death, as they will die but repeatedly return to point "zero"; the point immediately before the process of death i.e Diavolo's infinite death loops. Through this ability, GER creates a new "reality", as it calls it, for Diavolo as a form of poetic justice for the multiple times the mob boss has manipulated reality to his advantage with King Crimson. The next ability is his creation power being enhanced and speed as well. Finally, we have the deadly Return to Zero. Basically, Gold Experience Requiem's ultimate ability is to revert all actions and willpower back to the state of "zero", completely nullifying them and preventing them from becoming "real". For simplicity's sake, it's comparable to performing Ctrl-Z (undo), completely denying any causality. This can be seen as a direct opposite to King Crimson. As instead of undoing the act and leaving the effect like King Crimson does, Gold Experience Requiem removes the effect from the cause."

Jason: "After defeating Diavolo, burying the people they lost on this journey like Buccialati Leone Abbachiroth and Polnareff's turtle possessed body, the remaining crew including Fugo return to Italy and run the newly-reformed Passione. But Giorno makes one last oath to protect the Requiem arrow from any and all threats that come after Passione. Giorno Giovanna successfully achieved his dream of becoming a Gangster and carrying on Buccialati's dying wishes."

*Battle Loading... 50%.. 75%.. 100%*

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities! Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Jason: "It's time for a DARK ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!~"

*The Fight. I recommend playing Solo (Let Me Solo Her) by JT Music, it surprisingly fits*

We open two years after the events of Vento Aureo. Giorno Giovanna cannot shake the feeling that something's not right. The Joestar mark on his neck tinges and he decides to ask if there are any reports recently. The reports from the members of Passione all say the same thing. A man in medieval armor has been murdering many people with godly abilities. Giorno decides to grab the Requiem arrow just to make sure this threat can be dealt with quickly.

He goes to Rome where he killed Diavolo, still seeing his body flail about. He enters the Colosseum and sees the man as described. There was a large fireplace in the middle of the Colosseum and walks towards the menacing wanderer. When he gets close to this man, the Chosen Undead stands up and pulls out a throwing knife, preparing for a fight, the Greatbow of Gough on his back along with the Crystal AND Moonlight Greatsword. Giorno summoned Golden Experience knowing this will certainly not be easy.

FIGHT WITH HEROISM!

Giorno runs towards the Chosen Undead who pulls out the Crystal Greatsword. Giorno begins the MUDA MUDA barrage but the Chosen Undead slices at Golden Experience which cuts Giorno as well. Thankfully and painfully so, Giorno creates a new piece of his stomach. He holds the Chosen Undead off with the MUDA MUDA barrage and fully heals. He decides to punch the Chosen Undead's helmet off and what Giorno sees is truly a freak of nature. A regressed man who seems to have nothing more than a wish to die.

The Chosen Undead uses his Vow of Silence which prevents himself and enemies from using magic. He throws multiple throwing knives at Giorno but Golden Experience punches the knives away in a similar form to Jotaro fighting Dio in the OVA. Giorno tries the MUDA MUDA barrage one more time but it has no effect except breaking the weapons. All except the Moonlight Greatsword. Giorno is struck by the wave of energy emanating from the sword swings.

Giorno decides to pull out the trump card. Giorno wishes to have the same abilities during his fight against Diavolo and the arrow ensures this. Before he goes Requiem, he creates multiple scorpions to distract the Chosen Undead. He then stabs himself and Golden Experience, beginning to float in the air. When the transformation has completed, the Chosen Undead has killed the scorpions and taken a sip from his Estus Flask and sees the man floating above, a golden man beside him. Giorno began to come down to the ground and cracked a muscle in his neck. "Try me now, CHOSEN UNDEAD. This is.. Requiem!" The Chosen Undead noticed Giorno's lips weren't moving but the golden man's were!

The ground began to crack apart with the amount of power emanating from both of them! Then there was nothing left but the First Flame. "You will never arrive at the truth that will occur! None who stand before me shall ever do so, no matter what abilities they may wield!" The Chosen Undead ignores this statement and tries to strike at him when suddenly, his body slows and Giorno begins the longest beatdown since Cioccolatta.

"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA 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MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA.. WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY! MUDAAAAAA!"

When the final blow was dealt, the Chosen Undead began crawling towards the First Flame and linked it, with Giorno being shielded by G.E.R.! Giorno walked through the fire and tried to punch through the Chosen Undead's chest, which the Chosen Undead dodged and sliced GER in half.

However, GER began putting itself back together even though the Flame had been linked. The Chosen Undead began to feel his soul fade away and smiled, knowing their goal had finally been completed. Giorno saw this and stopped GER from killing him. Instead he healed the Chosen Undead allowing him to die while looking human. Giorno then claimed the glowing sword and GER powered back down to Golden Experience, the Requiem arrow falling back into Giorno's hand. Little did Giorno know this would cause a chain of events that would lead to every Chosen Hero coming after him.

K.O.!

*At the lab*

Ajax: "God damn.. Did this really have to be the one fight where a JoJo character truly wins? If this was gonna be the one... *Continues to go on a rant*"

Jason: "While my co-host is coping with Giorno winning, this fight was more clear cut then Goku VS Superman 2. Giorno was able to fend off from the Chosen Undead's onslaught of attacks but once Giorno used the Requiem arrow, it was lights out for the protagonist of Dark Souls 1. Ajax?"

Ajax: "Huh? Oh.. Uh, the winner is Giorno Giovanna."

Chapter 11: Power Rangers VS My Hero Academia

Summary:

R.I.P. MHA. You had a good run.

Ajax: "Lady Nagant, wielder of the Rifle Quirk."

Jason: "And Troy 'Burrows' Marvelous, the Mightiest of all the Red Rangers!"

Ajax: "Heroes can define generations and inspire many children, and these two are among the best of the best, standing tall through it all and defending the earth from all kinds of threats."

Jason: "Plus, they look SO good in red and purple! Time for badasses to collide! He's Ajax and I'm Jason!"

Ajax: "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Arena Duel!"

*Captain Troy 'Burrows' Marvelous Analysis*

Jason: "Let's take everyone back to a simpler time. The year of 2014! Neo-Saban are releasing their nineteenth season of Power Rangers, basing it after Goseiger! This is our protagonist, Troy Burrows. He's your standard cold to everyone, a wooden teenager that has been dreaming of a Legendary Battle. He's later transported to the middle of the desert- I mean a Hawaiian beach with four other teenagers. It's totally different from Zyuranger, we swear!"

Ajax: "But there is another version of Troy out there in the universe. A man named Captain Marvelous! But we'll go over Troy first since he is the main Red Megaforce Ranger. Over the course of Megaforce and Super Megaforce, Troy becomes a leader of his team, learning humility and sacrifice. Through his connection with Robo Knight, trained by Gosei and the Morphin' Grid, he has the ability to channel power from the Morphin' Grid into himself. But his most iconic piece is the Gosei Morpher! This is the traditional Morpher but with a few twists. The morphing sequence requires him to equip cards inside the morpher and then cycle through them. These most likely grant him the weaponry of every Red Ranger, past present and future! His zord is the dragon Megazord which forms the head of the Gosei Great Mechazord! But this doesn't compare to the Legendary Morpher. For this, we'll need to go over to the Super Sentai side of things."

Jason: "Yeah, after the Legendary Battle at the end of Super Megaforce, all the keys scatter and a ship like the Skyship ominously floats in space with five people aboard. These are the Gokaiger pirates. Their leader is the charming Captain Marvelous! Standing at 5'10, this marvelous man had an interesting tale to tell as he had betrayed his teammates and went to Earth, hoping the keys were still on Earth. Angrily, he picks a fight with the Goseiger rangers while the Gokaiger rangers fight the other Rangers who are in their Megazord. The two leaders fight over the treasure of the thousand of Ranger keys inside the chest."

Ajax: "Eventually, Go-onger and Shinkenger get involved with these two fighting. They sort it out and they all go their separate ways, yadda yadda. The keys are what's interesting. Through the keys, Troy or Marvelous have access to them all through their belt buckles which, when clicked, summon a key that a Ranger requires. They insert them into the Morphers/Gokai changers and transform into that Ranger. However, there are caveats to these. Jason?"

Jason: "Alrighty then. If the suit takes too many hits, it'll cause them to de-morph into a previous form. And if they're hit enough, they can be permanently de-morphed."

Ajaz: "Captain Marvelous does have a good set of feats like going through all 36 Gokai Changes, matching a Kamen Rider in terms of attack speed which comes out to 670,616,629.3844 miles per hour! Another speed feat of his is being able to shoot a bullet out of the air from 13 feet away and consecutively shoot four rounds in rapid succession! He's broken a reinforced metal collar while electrocuted and felt barely winded! Finally, he's survived a point blank explosion and a skyscraper explosion, BACK TO BACK!"

Jason: "Troy or rather Marvelous has the power that's inside all of us; our humility."

'Let's make this extremely showy!'

*Lady Nagant Analysis*

Ajax: "Why are we here in this world again? We both know this is gonna go over badly."

Jason: "Because these two are the best match we can think of. Now, onto Lady Nagant! In the past, Kaina had an optimistic outlook in her desire to be a great hero but was led down a dark path by her superiors, having been trained to kill villains and corrupt heroes, sometimes unjustly, who were threatening to disrupt the order in society. She assassinated criminals who the commission wanted to have "disappear" rather than be handled by the proper legal process. Kaina's repeated killings made her disillusioned, and she soon fell into a depressive state upon realizing that the Hero Commission maintains a fragile and hollow peace at the expense of others while hypocritically justifying that their actions are for the good of everyone."

Ajax: "Damn. This would be sad if she wasn't on the enemy team! Upon seeing some young children in admiration over her, Kaina eventually reached her breaking point, realizing that the youth of society wholly admire Heroes and wish to become them while not being aware of the bloodshed behind the scenes. While reaching out to shake the hands of said children, she saw how bloodied her hand was and retracted it in horror, not wanting to pass said bloodshed on to them. Upon implying that she wished to leave her post, and receiving a veiled threat to her life in response, Kaina finally snapped and killed her superior. Let me repeat; she killed the Hero Commision head honcho!"

Jason: "Izuku, however, pointed out that Kaina wasn't serious about killing Kai because the trajectory of the bullet she fired at him was off, and he surmised she wasn't as supportive of All For One as she claimed to be because she could've easily fulfilled the contract to capture Izuku without engaging in battle. It is later proven that despite her low hopes and cynical view of society, she still cares about doing what's truly right in the end and that she became a hero with the good intention of helping others. After witnessing Izuku's skill and resolve in battle, as well as how he managed to save both Kai and her with no hesitation, Kaina deems Izuku to be a true hero."

Ajax: "But enough of that boring stuff. Let's move onto her Quirks. Yes, I said QuirkS. Her first quirk is the most iconic one which would be the Rifle quirk. This quirk lets her create hollowpoint rounds, frangible, incendiary, you name it and she can create it. The second quirk allows her to float in the air and shoot at the same time. The third quirk is the saddest one, her self-destruct quirk which All For One can activate from afar. So it's basically Bites The Dust?"

Jason: "Basically. Time for some feats! Her skill is so great she was able to hit Deku from over a kilometer away, despite heavy rainfall, it being night at the time, and her target's greatly enhanced speed and ability to detect danger, and was able to land a hit while moving in mid-air with her rifle pointed behind her back. Her second feat is that she survived an explosion in her body, a few chapters later and she was in the center of the explosion when it happened! Finally, Kaina seemingly has a superhuman level of eyesight, being able to easily hit targets from up to three kilometers away without any visible scope. Her sight is seemingly unaffected by either darkness or weather conditions such as heavy rainfall! But there are a few bad things when we fully consider her feats. Ajax?"

Ajax: "Right. Here's the catch with the explosion quirk. This can lead into an instant loss for her if this explosion ever happens, but it could be a way to even the battle out if her opponent is near the explosion. If she uses up all her hair for bullets, she can become vulnerable and it could potentially jam if someone shot the barrel of her arm-sniper. Finally she is most likely prone to PTSD with how many missions she was sent on by the Hero Commision."

Jason: "This doesn't change that Lady Nagant is the most selfless anti-hero in all of My Hero."

"I'd been stained by darkness and lost faith in the light... until you and my successor came around to remind me... of how I felt back then... with my bright and shining hopes. And of my reason for being."

*Battle Preparing.. 50%.. 75%.. 100%!*

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all posibillities. Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Jason: "*Summons the lungs of the Sasageyo song* It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~"

*The Fight*

We open on Captain Marvelous flying the Galleon high above the clouds seeing if there were any monsters sent out yet. He'd been so bored that he resorted to reading a ero manga. Of course, he was disgusted so he threw it into the city of Tokyo but little did he know there was a woman just walking down the streets when a monster suddenly appeared. Captain Marvelous smiled and shouted out "Gokai Change!"

He had morphed into Gokaiger Red! He jumped down only to see a woman with purple hair having killed the monster. This was Lady Nagant. "What're you doing? This is a restricted area now, young hero, so I recommend you step away." Gokaiger Red just wanted to help so he pulled out his Gokai Blaster and stated "All right then.. Time to create a new legend!!" Lady Nagant used her sniper quirk and loaded a piece of her hair into the rifle.

FIGHT!!

Marvelous started blasting at her but Kaina began to dodge the bullets. She couldn't risk killing a hero but this man didn't seem to be registered in her eyepiece. Gokai Red pulled out the FiveRed key and inserted it into the Gokai Changer. "Fiveman!" He was turned into the Red Fiveman Ranger and immediately pulled out the V Sword. He slashed at Lady Nagant who shot at him but Marvelous cut the bullet in half with his sword and began the Super Five Ball and struck Lady Nagant with shadowy versions of the Fiveman Rangers.

This winded Lady Nagant who decided to run for a better vantage point. Gokai took after her, transforming yet again with the GoRed key. "GoGoFive!" He was transformed into the Lightspeed Rescue Red Ranger and used a grappling device to make his way up the tower. Lady Nagant shot at the rope with Incendiary rounds but GoGoRed shot her sniper arm which jammed the rifle.

This bought Gokai Red enough time to climb up the rest of the way. He'd finally reached the top and pulled out a Goseiger key. "GoseiRed Ultra Mode!" He'd transformed into the Ultra Mode Gosei Red Ranger! He took flight with the golden wings and used the Ultra Sword's bottom piece to light the roof up with magic hellfire! Lady Nagant began to float in the air and shot the golden wings with Overpressured bullets after she'd finally taken the bullet out her arm.

Gokai Red was falling towards the roof and pulled out yet another Gokai Change key. This was the Gaoranger key! "GaoRed!" As he landed, he positioned himself into a cat-like pose. This was the Wold Force Red Ranger! He pulled out the Jungle Sword but Lady Nagant had enough so she began unloading into the Gokai Ranger. She shot him to the point where he was brought to his Gokai Red outfit. (Keep in mind how many Gokai Changes he;s gone through and that's how many bullets are used)

He struggled to get up but little does Lady Nagant know he has one more key up his sleeve. As she began walking towards him with her air Quirk and then Gokai Red pulled out the Gold Mode key. He inserted the key and transformed with a silver aura surrounding him. He was now in this gold armor which had more ranger faces on it. He threw his spear at Lady Nagant who dodged the attack. Gokai Red was growing tired of this and summoned all his power! He also equipped another key into the Gokai Changer which was the Galleon Armor! The Galleon floated above the two combatants and sent miniature versions of the Zords and itself.

They equipped themselves with Gokai Red and he was encased in a mess of armor that was sure to take Lady Nagant down. He began unloading the weapons on her and the shots hit her arm, an ear and a piece of her dress. She looked like a whole mess and was in clear pain. Gokai Red pulled out one more key. This was the Shinkenger Super Mode. He mercifully inserted the key and walked towards Lady Nagant. He readied his sword and cut her head off! It began to rain and Marvelous walked away, leaving a custom Lady Nagant key or charm to honor her memory. After this, Marvelous took a vow to never take a human life again and wore an all-black jacket with an eyepatch to cover the blood that was in his eye. "At least it was showy.."

K.O......

*At the office*

Ajax: "Holy hell.. I don't think I've felt this much sadness since they animated Gear 5th."

Jason: "This was a heavily interesting match. Marvelous had a wider arsenal but with shorter ranges while Lady Nagant's quirk requires her to be far from a target. They've also both survived explosions that should have killed them or at least knocked them out. Marvelous had more speed while Lady Nagant was slower than a turtle having been beaten by Izuku."

Ajax: "The winner is Captain Troy 'Burrows' Marvelous!"

Chapter 12: Kira VS Fowl

Ajax: "*Watching the Death Note movie while comparing it to the manga* This shit just doesn't add up! Why would Netflix make L an asshole with a non-existent personality while Misa is just a Hot Topic chick? I swear to God, if this ends on a fucking cliffhanger-! *Ends on cliffhanger* DAMN YOU! YOU MANIACS! YOU BURNED IT ALL TO HELL! DAMN... You!"

Jason: "Jesus, Ajax! I don't think I've heard you this mad since MWIII was announced. At least Artemis Fowl doesn't exactly have a controversial movie. I mean yeah, the film was boring from start to finish but at least it's better than Timmy Yagami over there. What would happen if these two even met? If they were to fight I think without the Butler, Light could win."

Ajax: "Let's test that out. But what should the ground rules be? We need to make the fight somewhat fair for both of them."

Jason: "How about we make this a fight of wits rather than fists? It could lead to L and Artemis getting along strangely so well that you'd think they were brothers. Then the finale could be like-"

Ajax: "Okay, okay, we'll do Artemis VS Light. With how obsessed you are in terms of both the series, I'd think you're friends with them. *Jason looks at the floor* How? Logistically, how? I mean, I get we've had Spy and Kirito along with Keyarga on the show but HOW?"

Jason: "What can I say, I've got friends in high places."

*Death Arena Intro*

Ajax: "Light Yagami, God of the New World and wielder of the Death Note.."

Jason: "..And Artemis Fowl the 2nd, hero to the magical lands! For this bout, we'll be using the rules above. These two are highly intelligent so it makes sense that they would use their smarts. He's Ajax Yagami and I'm Jason Fowl!"

Ajax: "And it's our job to analyze their canes, designer clothes and brains to find out who'll win a Death Arena Duel!"

*Artemis Fowl Analysis*

Jason: "Our story begins in 2003. A twelve-year old psychopath named Artemis Fowl the 2nd is having a psychiatric session when Butler (yes we acknowledge it's dumb) tells him that his father is getting whored ou- I mean ransomed. But is there a difference? No. On their way to Russia, Artemis is stopped by Captain Holly Short, who suspects him of smuggling human batteries to the B'wa Kell goblin rebellion. After Foaly proves Artemis's innocence, he strikes a deal with the LEP, in which he will help them capture the real culprit in exchange for their aid in the rescue of Artemis the first. So far so good, right?"

Ajax: "A bit of espionage and dealings, action. How does the rest of the story go? That's the thing; unless there's some twenty-something year old reading this, you won't care. I mean, neither did Wiz and Boomstick when they said that Guts was slightly faster. How can somebody be slightly faster? That's like saying Usain Bolt was slightly better then Terry Crews. Aside from that, not much happens in the Artemis books after the escapade of saving his dad."

Jason: "This is why we're mainly focussing on smarts. The entire reason Wiz and Boomstick want us to do this battle is so that we can do [REDACTED]nd vs [REDACTED]fen later on. Oh shit, did I say that out loud? Can we censor that in post?"

Ajax: "We can. Just don't say it again. If we're comparing Artemis' smarts to another character in the books, the best would be Miss Sherlock Stockholmes herself Minerva. She has access to every piece of technology that the LEP has created. Minerva is also Artemis' potential girlfriend. Artemis's weapons include the Neutrino 2000 which has three settings. The first acts like a taser, the second setting causes an unknown amount of pain, and the third could burn your skin. The fourth with an unknown term could lower your IQ."

Jason: "Our next weapon is an average Sig Sauer P220 which has multiple iterations. For this we'll be using the 10mm version. This has 8 rounds compared to the first version's 9 rounds. His final weapon would be the Buzzbaton which can be charged up to 10,000 volts of electricity. With that being said, Artemis does rely on Butler for fighting."

Ajax: "Artemis has had one hell of a ride. Let's just hope his adventures are remembered for years on end."

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That is how history is written."

*Light Yagami Analysis*

Jason: "Our story starts in the realm of the Shinigami. The land of the dead has been quiet for quite some time so a Shinigami named Ryuk drops one of the Death Notes into the human world. As Light Yagami is ironically reciting quotes from the Bible, the Death Note lands in a bush outside. He investigates this and goes home with it, thinking it's just a book some teen left lying around. Once he was back at his house, he saw that the book had a large set of rules in it. Let's read them out! *Summons his own Death Note* All right, the rules are; the whose name is written in this note shall die, this note will not affect people sharing the same name. if the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen however if the cause is not stated they die of a heart attack and after almost seven minutes, they die."

Ajax: "Let's get back to what's at hand. The story. Light's killings reach a monumental scale, attracting the attention of the master detective known as L Lawliet. The first conflict between Light and L happens over the television, beginning with the broadcast of Lind L. Tailor. L places Tailor as a decoy on television in order to trick Light, with the network stating that the broadcast is worldwide. Light thinks the ordeal is over, but the broadcast of Tailor is suddenly cut, and L's signature letter 'L' appears. Using a voice synthesizer, the real L announces that Lind L. Tailor was a decoy and a criminal on death row. He explains that Tailor's information was never made available to the public, so there was no way Kira could have killed him until now. L boldly taunts Kira, asking him to try to kill him, as Light stares at the TV, angrily shocked that he's been fooled. After several seconds, L learns that Kira needs the person's real name and face to kill the victim, otherwise Kira would have already killed him. L announces that the video was aired only in the Kanto area of Japan as a ploy to determine the location of Kira. L says that he is now speaking directly to Kira and tells Kira that he will catch him, then the broadcast ends. So far so good, we've got a rivalry going and Light declares himself as Justice."

Jason: "A few weeks after this, some FBI agents are sent and killed by Light. At this point, the FBI has no spies left except for L himself. So Light's dad and some others like Matsuda go to a hotel and meet the man himself. And by God, he's my favorite! With how skinny yet cool he looks, James Bond should hire him to replace Q! Anyways, in the next few months, Ray Penbar and his girlfriend are offed, L becomes friendly with Light and Misa is introduced. Again, not much happens but when shit gets good, it's GOOD. Light's obvious choice of weaponry is the Death Note but if he doesn't have it on him, he keeps a slip of paper from the Death Note in his watch. For those spicy moments, he has his father's Smith & Wesson Model 640 which has a laser sighting on it. But even with all of this stuff, he's not without his flaws. Light/Kira needs to know both the name of his target and who the target looks like. This is so the Death Note does not kill multiple people with the same name. Light was initially unable to kill L because L used a fake alias: sharing his name with pop-star Hideki Ryuga. If Light attempted to kill L, but accidentally killed Hideki, then L would know that Light is Kira. Finally after L's and multiple other people's deaths, Light can die in two ways; Light is left incapacitated both physically and mentally. Light yells for Mikami to write down the names of everyone present, but Mikami responds by asking how he is supposed to kill them with a fake notebook. This brings Mikami to the realization that Light is not "God". Light becomes increasingly distraught and begins asking for help from Misa, only to be told that she isn't here. He then asks for Takada and is told that she is dead. In complete desperation, Light begs Ryuk to help him by killing everyone in the room, yet Ryuk reminds Light that he is on neither side. Ryuk fulfills his promise from the beginning: he writes "Light Yagami" in his Death Note, and Light futilely begs Ryuk to reverse the process. He begins to panic, repeating in his head "I don't want to die," before the Death Note finally takes effect, thus killing him. Or...?"

Ajax: "Mikami commits suicide by stabbing himself with his pen and losing a lot of blood, creating a diversion for both the Task Force and the SPK. Although weakened, Light catches a second wind and manages to flee the warehouse. Near tells Aizawa, Mogi, Ide, and Matsuda that there is no reason to pursue Light, given that there should be no more hidden Death Note pieces and Light's wounds would prevent him from getting far. Aizawa refuses to heed Near's orders and has his team follow Light. Meanwhile, Ryuk writes Light's name down when he finds another warehouse to hide in. As Light silently dies, an illusion of L appears before Light, mirroring a scene following L's defeat at Light's hands in episode 25. Either way, Kira has affected the world and no one will know who Kira is except Aizawa, Mogi, Ide, and Matsuda."

"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data throughout all possibilities! Let's end this debate once and for all."

Jason: "It's time for Light's funeral!!!!!!!~~"

*The Battle Of Wits*

August 15th, 2003. We see Light Yagami walking towards his room, ready to murder another person with the Death Note when suddenly, a letter resembling A.F. appears on the TV. This is the fifth one that has been sent into Kanto recently. Light decided to tune in for this one. "If you are watching this, Kira, let it be known that the death of every FBI agent hasn't gone unnoticed. With your ability over death, it seems that you're losing your wit. Almost as if you're a high schooler. It's on the tip of my tongue. What is it... Ah yes, LIGHT YAGAMI. If you are truly a high school student, you are a sick individual who has no quarrels with killing innocent men like Ray Penbar, Naomi Misora and Kiyomi Katuga. If you recognize my voice, I'll give you one simple hint: "F. Roy Dean Schlippe ''. Sound familiar?" Light remembers meeting someone named Freudian Slip earlier and immediately figured out that this was Artemis Fowl Jr., or rather Artemis Fowl! How could he have not seen it before? "Oh and if you plan on traveling to my home, the address is 132 Georgia Street. See you then, Killer!" The broadcast ended and Ryuk laughed at Light's anger peeping through. "You humans are always so entertaining." Light simply asked if he could borrow his father's revolver and his mom gave it to him. Ever since his dad had been in the hospital, he was granted the use of the gun except he was only using rubber bullets.

Light thanked her and went directly to the family car. He tried digging into his mind to see if he could remember Artemis's face but all he saw in his mind was a piece of a potato chip. After hours of driving, the sky began filling with rain and a stormy atmosphere that was always present near the Yagami household. He continued driving as more and more disasters were happening as if Light going towards Artemis was a mistake. As if the universe was forcing his hand. He didn't stop however and arrived at the house of Artemis Fowl. He knocked on their front door and out came a man clad in a tuxedo with a Sig Sauer in his hand. Light wrote Butler into his watch's hidden piece of paper and Butler felt his hand with the Sig Sauer being held was forced to his head and he was offed by Light writing that Butler would die from suicide. Even if it wasn't exactly suicide, it worked for him.

Once Light entered the household, he saw Artemis with a portable chess set in his briefcase. Light had used that before. Rtemis then spoke to him. "Hello, Kira. Would you like to play a game? If you win, I turn myself into the Japanese police and L will be disappointed. If I win, you will hand me the Death Note and I turn you into the police. Sound fair? Or will you use your Shinigami Eyes to kill me where I stand?" Light's face went from one of peace to that of aggression. "Damn it! If this bastard wins, I will lose my one goal. But if I win, the Fowl fortune would go to his next-of-kin or charity. Very well then..." "I'll play your game, Fowl Junior. But why don't we bring some company? Misa, come on out!" There stood Misa Aname, in her usual goth outfit holding her Death Note like it wasn't the most dangerous book in human history. Misa smiled and began drawing Artemis, secretly finding him and L more dashing then Light who just acts posh all the time.

Artemis lays out the chess pieces which were red and blue. Artemis was blue while Light was red, representative of their sides that had been chosen. They played a best of three while Misa kept drawing their moves on the chessboard. Finally, after three hours, Light had lost. Artemis smiled while Light was seething with anger. How could he lose to some Irish eleven-year old kid?! He took out the Death Note while Artemis grabbed Butler's Sig Sauer. "You lost, Yagami. You must accept your fate. Do not do this." Light was stuck. On one hand, if he wrote Artemis' name fast enough, both of them would die and both would win even in death. On the other hand, if Artemis pulls the trigger fast enough that would be the end of Kira. Light quickly wrote Artemis' name but then a shot rang out. Light's heart had been shot. This was it. But in reality, the bullet hit Misa! Artemis dropped the pistol. "So... What will it be, Light Yagami? You save your girlfriend or you kill me, making yourself a martyr. Your move." Light seemingly quickly ends Misa's suffering by shooting her heart. Artemis stumbles back a bit as he didn't think that Light would have the cajones to actually kill her.

"So.. You aren't afraid to kill after all. Let's see if this shakes you up." He then pulls out the Buzz Baton and throws it at Light's arm which holds the Death note in it. He dropped it but suddenly Artemis began to hold his throat. We pan over to the Death Note and see that the name 'Artemis Fowl II' was written. Artemis tried crawling towards the Death Note to erase his name but he stopped moving. Light smiled maniacally and marched toward the Fowl vault, claiming Artemis' family fortune as his own.

K.O.!

*At the office*

Jason: "Well, shit. That could be an issue."

Ajax: "The reason this wasn't a traditional fight is because of the nature of their series. Think about it. In Death Note, Light hardly ever throws hands unless he's cuffed to his friends. Now that I say that out loud, that sounds creepily kinky. Moving on, as for Artemis. He is more of the brains type rather then the type to bust in all ham-fisted just ready to rock somebody's shit."

Jason: "Another small thing. Light has little to no fighting. Artemis only began working out around the third book. Out of a six-book series. I think you can get the picture pretty clearly. So the verdict was clear."

Ajax: "The winner is Light Yagami!"

Chapter 13: Osmosis VS U-1146

Summary:

(Real quick. HOLY FUCK, Guts VS Dimitri was beautiful. I was slightly miffed Guts lost but I understood why Dimitri won. Also that ending. "You.. Shall not have his soul!" Holy hell this fight was an absolute banger! The fact Dimitri understood what Guts was fighting against.. This fight was great.)

Ajax: "Osmosis Jones, detective cop of the city of Frank."

Jason: "U-1146, the anime White Blood Cell."

Ajax: "The human body. There are many known diseases and viruses that threaten it, but luckily our immune system can help defend us from these inside threats. Well...most of them."

Jason: "Yeah, but they're not usually badass people that have a job to do. Wait...if they're people...what are WE?! Gods?! Oh man, I love being a god! He's Ajax, I'm Jason and our special guest is Travis Touchdown!"

Travis: "And it's our job to analyze their guns, jackets, and abilities to find out who would win a Death Arena Duel!"

*U-1146 Analysis*

Ajax: "Inside the human body, roughly 37.2 trillion cells work energetically."

Jason: "Trillions of tiny people running around in my body doing their jobs. UNTIL A GERM MONSTER SHOWS UP! This is the Blood Cell Task Force!"

Travis: "And when they do, it is up to the white blood cells to hunt them down and kill them. In the spotlight of this manga and anime is the white blood cell, U-1146. Courageous and diligent, U-1146 is hard at work at his job. As a neutrophil, he is the first responder to pathogens and foreign substances that can harm the body. The moment he detects one, he is sure to rush over to destroy it. Why did you guys invite me here again? Because so far this has been boring as fuck!"

Ajax: "Because you don't have a new game until SUDA51 decides to make NMH 4 which will come out when half your fans are dead. Anyway, his primary weapon is a combat knife. Fun fact: the manga artist designed it after the Russian anti terror knife, aka Melita-k knife, a heavy combat blade designed for durability and high penetration power. With a single swipe, the white blood cell can cut open the germ's body and spill its blood. WAIT A MINUTE! WE'RE LOOKING INSIDE OUR BLOOD. AND THOSE GERMS ARE GUSHING OUT BLOOD. ... I'm confused."

Jason: "Combined with his fast dash, he could even cut through large bacteria, like acne bacteria. And his strength enables him to cut through most membranes. In fact, he is strong enough to push back five influenza-infected cells. He also forced open the mouth of a large Vibrio Parahaemolyticus bacteria after cutting up its insides. GROSS! I love Japan."

Travis: "God, I love this shit whereas I hate the fact that we have to do all this research for two characters. We're almost done right? I have a date with Slyvia soon."

Ajax: "Trust us when we say you might wanna put that date on hold. These usually take us a while. The longest script that we wrote took 5 days just to publish on this site. He also carries throwing knives, which he can use with great accuracy. This is useful when an enemy is running far away from him, especially since he can only run as fast as a regular fit man."

Jason: "His running speed might not be impressive, but his reaction speed is. When a super influenza zombie threw a white blood cell throwing knife back at high speed, U-1146 was quick enough and accurate enough to deflect it. In fact, his hand-eye coordination is so good that he could block a whole bunch of relentless attacks from gold bacteria with just his knife. By the way, that's Staphylococcus Aureus."

Travis: "Staff- le- Cock. Staff le Cock Us. Are you hinting at something, Jason?"

Ajax: "Just ignore that. U-1146 has not blocked everything. When he was fighting a horde of bacteria on his own, some of them managed to land some blows on him, including this unidentified bacteria with appendages that look like a flail."

Jason: "But this soldier is so badass that he would take it and then get back to fighting. When that flail pounded him, he just grabbed it and tossed that UFO bacteria onto the ground. But that is nothing compared to the other blows he took. He tanked a large fist of a huge bacteria. He was smashed through the stone-like cell walls by a giant Acne bacteria. He even survived being grabbed by a pair of gigantic stone hands manipulated by Cancer Cell."

Travis: "*still chuckling from the joke* T-that's not to say that he is all brawns and no brains. He could pick up on subtle signs that something is wrong. He noticed that something was up when a wave of bacteria aggressively attacked him. He figured out that a Pneumococcus bacteria was hiding with Red Blood Cell when his receptor stopped signaling. He also would trick his enemy when he's unable to attack them directly. When he could not slash through a Pneumococcus bacteria's capsule, he got it to step into a mucus trap."

Ajax: "And while he mostly goes up and slash germs, he knows how to be sneaky. One time, he snuck up behind a speedy, evasive bacteria by swimming underwater, staying hidden until the moment he grabbed one of its tentacles."

Jason: "However, neutrophils are not equipped to handle all threats. As mentioned before, there are some membranes that he could not cut, like the Pneumococcus's capsule. Additionally, he came close to dying when a merged Staphylococcus Aureus caught him in the body's own fibrin and wreaked havoc on him and his fellow Neutrophils. And he is unable to stop the threat if the pathogen proliferates too much. Good thing the Immune system has several other types of cells designed to handle these threats."

Travis: "The White Blood Cells other abilities include the Migrate ability that enables him to slip through the tight spaces between cell walls. He has L-Selectin to adhere to certain tissues, like those composed of vascular endothelial cells. He sounds fairly as badass as me!"

Ajax: "This all being said, U-1146 isn't invulnerable. Unlike his opponent, he cannot stretch and morph his body into different shapes. All in all, U-1146 has proved himself to be a formidable protector."

"Die, you GERM!"

*Osmosis Jones Analysis*

Jason: "♫Now, this is the story all about how♫"

Travis: "♫your health gets flip turned upside down♫"

Ajax: "♫And I'd like to take a minute, just hear my tones♫"

Jason: "♫I'll tell all about a cell named Osmosis Jones♫"

Travis: "♫In the body of Frank, later Hector! Germs come in and... uh... start to... wrecktor...♫"

Ajax: "You suck at singing, the both of you."

Jason + Travis: "Shut up."

Jason: "Germs and pathogens enter the body on a regular basis threatening to break it and ruin Frank's or Hector's lives. Good thing they have white blood cells, including an eccentric one called Osmosis Jones or Ozzy."

Travis: "Willing to do whatever it takes to save his host, Ozzy is one of those who tends to ignore the rulebook, disobey orders, and take matters into his own hands with reckless abandonment. This attitude puts him at odds with his higher-ups and even makes embarrassing problems for his host. But, hey, it gets the job done."

Ajax: "Later, he partnered up with a cold pill named Drix, and together, they stopped many bacteria, viruses, and other foreign substances that harm the body. To fight those nasties, Ozzy is armed with a handgun that appears to be capable of shooting heat rays, mucus, spit, and even stomach acid. Wow! I didn't know white blood cells use that. I'M LEARNING!"

Jason: "Actually, this is just a cartoon. White blood cells don't actually use those. But they do stretch like Ozzy. He can warp the shape of his elastic body to dodge attacks, get out of holds, grapple microbes, or disguise his appearance. He could even partially split his body, even his head. On his own, he can extend to approximately 3 or 4 times his length. Naughty boy..~"

Travis: "Dude.. Even by my game's standards that is a bit fucked. Additionally, when other objects are stretching him, he is capable of stretching to even 20 times his length or expanding to about 40 times his volume. However, being stretched that far leaves him fatigued and incapable of moving for a while."

Ajax: "Also, Ozzy is a slippery one, and it's not only because his body is almost like water. He has good reflexes to dodge attacks. And since he could morph and bend in any way, hitting him is very difficult. In fact, in the movie "Osmosis Jones," Thrax snuck up behind Ozzy and tried to stab him with his deadly claw, but Ozzy instinctively split his chest to form a hole to avoid a hot, painful death. Mm, a near example of candle play~"

Jason: "Honey, I know you mean well but stop being suspicious please. However, Ozzy has taken some hits, especially when he was distracted or was not expecting it. And when those kicks and punches land, they hurt. One good punch to the head is enough to daze Ozzy. Just because his body is semi-liquid does not mean he can't get hurt. Nevertheless, he is quite durable and can survive large impacts. In fact, one time he went down a girl's throat- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, Ajax!- falling all the way down and walked away only a little dizzy. Even when we take into account that he used a germ to soften the impact, to walk away from what is equivalent to a mile fall is an impressive feat."

Travis: "About that, he isn't that invincible nor that smart. He's a bit ignorant when it comes to certain things. For vulnerability, he basically cannot be outside of the body otherwise he turns into a mini statue. With that being said, why hasn't there been more Osmosis Jones shows or movies, WB?! Give us another one! Oh but to end on a good note, Osmosis and Drix are a great duo to defend the human body. If only Ant-Man helped them the movie would have ended in like thirty minutes tops."

"Yo! You see this badge? You see this gun? You see this gooey, white saccus membranous 'round my personhood?... Well, you dealin' with a white blood cell here!"

(This is a bit of a note but Osmosis Jones was shown as a movie for my science class and Jesus Christ. It was disgusting to me at first but I've gotten used to it by now.)

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data throughout all possibilities! It's time to end this debate once and for all!"

Jason + Travis: "It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUEL!!!!!!~"

*The Fight*

We see Osmosis Jones exploring a new city/body. The catch? The body he was in is Ajax. After about a year of sex and drinking, his city looked like hell. But Jones heard a germ cry out in pain so he pulled out his plasma gun when suddenly the germ was stabbed to death by a man in all white. Jones held the man at gunpoint. "All right, bud. I'm taking you in, dead or alive." The man in all white, or rather U-1146, smirked. "If you wanna take me in, you'll have to try your best."

FIGHT!

Osmosis Jones began shooting at U-1146 who bobbed and weaved between the shots. He got close to Jones and held his knife against Jones' throat. "Here's a tip. Try using knives next time." Jones keeps this in mind but kept shooting 1146 who simply threw a knife at Jones' gun. It immediately fell out of his hand.

Jones went over and grabbed the knife and his gun. When he looked back to where 1146 was, there was no one there. Jones walked through more of the city when 1146 popped out from the shadows and stabbed Osmosis who winced in pain. Jones shot at 1146 multiple times but that didn't seem to do much.

Another knife was thrown at his gun but he still had the knife so the two engaged in a blade fight. The two fought from day into night and the pair were becoming tired so Jones tiredly ran at 1146 who stabbed Jones in his heart multiple times. Jones slowly died in 1146's arms while U-1146 showed no signs of emotion at all. He took Jones' pistol and jacket to commemorate the man who matched him in combat.

K.O.!!!

*At the office*

Ajax: "Well shit. I didn't predict my body looked that disgusting."

Jason: "This fight was definitely clear cut. U-1146 was a bit more stealthy which clashed with Osmosis Jones' ignorance and shoot first, questions later attitude. While his legs were strong enough to fall a mile onto the floor. Jones just didn't have the cells to keep up!"

Travis: "The winner is U-1146!"

Chapter 14: Travis Touchdown VS Jouta Kujo

Summary:

No More Heroes VS JoJo's Bizarre Married Life.

Ajax + Jason + ???: "......"

Ajax: "Who the hell decided to do this as an actual fight?"

Jason: "Apparently, someone who thinks Jouta has some form of fighting against Travis.. Also, who's our guest here today?"

Sylvia: "I'll be your guest. Mainly because I want my boyfriend to succeed. Anyways, let's get on with the shitshow."

*Death Arena Intro*

Ajax: "Travis Touchdown, the number one Crownless King."

Jason: "And Jouta Kujo, son of Noriaki Kakyoin and Jotaro Kujo."

Sylvia: "These two are definitely the strangest heroes out there. But who could beat the other in a one-on-one fight? Let's find out! I'm Sylvia, ranking agent for Travis Touchdown, and these are your hosts Ajax and Jason~!"

Ajax + Jason: "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, jackets and skills to find out who would win in a Death Arena Duel!"

*Travis Touchdown Strikes Back In Death Arena!*

Ajax: "In the small town of Santa Destroy, California, there lies an underbelly of crime that permeates throughout the entire population. Everyone everywhere seems to be getting into the action and as such, there's an enhanced need for one occupation in particular: Assassins! However it seems they're too busy killing themselves in their rank matches then helping actually assassinate people."

Jason: "One day one of the higher-ups of the United Assassin's Association, our very own Sylvia Crystal, met a man she thought would make an excellent assassin. She convinced him to buy a knockoff lightsaber on an online auction and he actually managed to kill the 11th ranked assassin in the association. The man's name... Was Helter Skelter but he's not that important. He's not even a boss fight in the game proper. Relegated to reveal trailer status only."

Sylvia: "So sad. No, instead, we're talking about his killer and my husband, dumbass. Travis Touchdown. Travis took his newfound power in his EBay Beam Katana, a blade easily capable of cutting through human flesh. Quite handy in the business of murdering mostly everyone he comes across after fighting his way through the number 10 assassin, Death Metal. Travis wanted only one thing from me."

"If I become Number One, will you do it with me?"

Ajax: "Classy. But that's just the kind of guy Travis is. He lives in a shitty motel called the... No More Heroes Motel. Why? Anyways, he also lives there with his giant anime collection. His favorite is 'Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly'. Adding that to my Google searches for this series that never really gets me arrested and his cute little cat, Jean! Travis loves his cat and she's a rescue. What a good guy.."

Jason: "Except for the, uh.. The murder but hey that comes with the job as they say. Said job wasn't exactly cheap either. With each step he rose through the ranks he had to spend a ludicrous amount of money just for the chance to fight the next assassin. Sometimes he just kind of did yard work, grilled, picked trash but sometimes he had to kill some fools. And lucky for him, he had the right tools for the job."

Sylvia: "From his master, Thunder Ryu, he learned the art of sword fighting and.. Professional wrestling! Through the mystic ways of the Yakuza, Travis learned many techniques such as the suplex, the full Nelson, the power slam, power bomb which is totally different from the Power Slam and lastly, the Pile Driver! Unfortunately, Travis is much more of a Melee Fighter so he relies on his Beam Katana to create openings for him most of the time. He IS a filthy Otaku after all, fighting wasn't his forte."

Ajax: "But now with his master's teachings, he is more than enough to take on anyone who stands in his way or anyone he gets paid to kill. That's not to say Travis kills everyone. He sort of famously has this weird relationship with this guy named Bishop who runs a local VHS shop and of course he has the whole thing with Sylvia. But when Travis wants you dead, which is all the time, he relies on his trusty beam katana."

Jason: "This efficient weapon cuts through flesh like no other blade before it cleaves through bodies like a hot knife through butter. If you're tough enough, you can take hits from the katana but once a decisive blow has been hit, it's game over. Travis has multiple Beam Katanas at his disposal such as the super long and hard Peony or the dual wielding Rose Nasty! But his main weapon is Blood Berry. The single bladed beam katana has fixed range edges capped at the blade's end like a battery. Unlike a battery however, these katanas need to charge and Travis is more than willing to show you how he intends to do that."

Sylvia: "Jesus Christ. You think this disparity would create openings in his fighting style but Travis is usually good at picking the right time to charge his blades. Usually. With these wrestling moves and his Beam Katana, Travis took down the 9th ranked assassin but the 8th ranked was a different story. Janobu Jacobs, one of the few women Travis had to fight, was the only person he spared on his first crusade to the top partially because Travis is sort of a pseudo-samurai-esque code when it comes to killing. See, he cannot kill you if you're either a student or a woman and luckily for his sidekick, Shinobu, she was both. SO he spared her life despite winning their fight."

Ajax: "Along the way, his killing spree was actually halted by a mysterious man with an irish accent but enough of that! It's time to face down the number one ranked assassin, Dark Star! Aaand now he's dead. Cool. That's fun, however the reason he was killed was kind of BEYOND fucked up. Um, so this person, Jeane who the cat was named after is Travis's half-sister. And her backstory is just all kinds of fucked up. So fucked up that the game will not tell you but unless you speed down the cutscene where she explains it all and in the series where your main way to charge your weapon is jacking off thinks is a step too far for it, it's a step too far for me."

Jason: "Just some really screwed up stuff happened to her and her killing Dark Star was beyond justified. Oh and her story is her and Travis's father. So since Jeane was the number one ranked assassin, Travis had no choice but to fight her. She wasn't a pushover but Travis claimed his victory in the end though he didn't get that oh so coveted fucking. He came away from the experience with a new lease on life, taking a leave from the association of assassins and being dubbed the No More Hero. But then that Irish fucker comes and he's Travis's brother. Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sylvia: "Mr. Sir Henry fucking here is no pushover. He's sort of a Vergil to Travis's Dante and in the end, it's even unclear who won their bout concluding in the throes of battle, the first game ends, leaving no room for a potential sequel. And then they made a sequel. So the Bishop guy we mentioned earlier? Yeah he died. From someone by the Pizzaback Foundation. So now Travis is back, ranked 51st aiming to get his revenge against Bishop's killer by beating the top ranked assassin, Jasper Batt Jr. who also just so happens to have killed Bishop. By proxy. Rising through the ranks with the help of Shinobu and Henry for some reason. Eventually, Travis managed to get his revenge but it left him hollower than when he started his crusade. In fact, this whole ordeal along with the killing of most of his family."

Ajax: "In the first game, that let him down quite possibly the worst past of his life, making him leave the No More Heroes motel and retire to a secluded area of the woods. Content to live out his days in a crappy trailer. We won't talk about that twin-stick shooter spinoff because who thought this would be a good idea? In short, he gets a Duelist Deck from that adventure. With these chips, he can slow time, track his enemies, drop kicks and pelt them with bullets. Another thing he has is a command grab. I'm starting to see why no one has been able to kill this guy. All his enemies are nothing compared to him. He then returned to Santa Destroy but didn't immediately resume his assassin shit. An alien decided to come in and wreck shop."

Jason: "Here we go. Basically there was this kid and an alien, the alien came back years later and has been tearing other planets a new ass. Travis noticed this and got off his ass to defend the Earth. Through these games, Travis has fought for multiple things. The first game was all about violence, the second taught him revenge is not the way of an honorable man like himself and the third (and potentially final) game was redemption. He also got one of the most badass things. Whenever he yells out Henshin!, he gains Gundam-styled armor! This is probably Travis's peak!"

Sylvia: "While I am Travis's wife, I'll admit that he can be a bit brash when it comes to fighting. But Travis has gone from an assassin to a hero of the universe!"

"Ooh, nice, scary eyes. That's what I wanna see! Come at me, KILL ME! Demons don't got shit on me!"

*Jouta Kujo Cracks Open Death Arena's Egg*

Ajax: "..The quicker we do this, the less pain we'll endure. Kakyoin wakes up one morning and discovers a giant egg. He reveals it to his friends. When Polnareff frantically asks Kakyoin if he has laid this egg, Kakyoin says that he doesn't know and that it was just there when he woke up. Joseph happily congratulates Kakyoin, excited to see what his great-grandson will look like and looking forward to Holly's reaction. Kakyoin tries to tell Joseph that this egg might not even be his but he realizes Joseph isn't listening to him. Their child suddenly hatches out of the egg and punches Polnareff's face, knocking him to the ground. The child is shown to bear a star-shaped birthmark on his shoulder. Joseph happily embraces the child and Avdol congratulates Jotaro and Kakyoin. Polnareff points out that even though the child was just born, he already packs a mean punch."

Jason: "Christ almighty. After a rough school day for Jota, Jotaro and Jota glare at each other before Jotaro walks over to the kitchen to bring out green dish soap, saying the name of the brand, "Charmy Green. Joseph and Avdol are disappointed by the name but Polnareff thinks it's pretty good. Jotaro and Jota glare at each other again. Meanwhile, Kakyoin thinks that Jota is already bizarre enough for being a Stand user on top of being born from an egg. He questions if this child can grow up normally. The chapter closes out by exclaiming that, as people say, the child of a frog will end up being a frog, and by default, a Stand user's child will be a Stand user."

Sylvia: "Now that we've covered that mess, we can talk about Jota's stand which, as stated earlier, was named Charmy Green."

Ajax: "The first thing is his URYA URYA Barrage! A technique Jota developed through 10 years of combat with Jotaro. It involves Charmy Green performing a rush attack by throwing out an extremely fast barrage of fists. Another thing it has is the Emerald Star Finger which is capable of firing emerald-shaped destructive energy from its fingers similar to those used by Hierophant Green. The name is in reference to the attack, 'Star Finger,' used by Jotaro's Star Platinum. The last ability that Charmy Green has is the infamous time stop! Like Jotaro, his timestop can last upwards of five seconds."

Jason: "At this point, you guys know the drill for JoJo. If he's fighting another stand or takes damage, that damage is reflected on Charmy Green except for when it doesn't. Charmy Green is also a close-range stand which means the distance that it can cover is very short. The end of this story is a bad one. Josuke realizes that Kakyoin is Jota's mom, and he loudly questions Jota. Josuke exclaims that this is great, complimenting Jotaro with how he is raising a teenage son at his age and even more amazing that his wife is a man."

Sylvia: "Josuke then states their love really touches him. In the final note, it is explained that even though Jota and Josuke are close friends, they just can't agree on the subject of Jotaro. This incident marks the time Jota first understood the fragility of friendships. At this point, we should expect JoJo characters to not have good endings."

"EMERALD STAR FINGER!"

Sylvia: "Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities! Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Ajax + Jason: "IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH ARENA DUAL!!!!!!~

*The Fight*

We open in a tournament with a circle of sand in the middle. The hosts of this fight are obviously Wiz and Boomstick themselves. "Hello everyone! This is our first fight in over 6 years. The reason we haven't done one is because of copyrights and bloodshed but you all don't care about that! In this tourney, we have two of our strongest fighters! In the left corner, he's green and ready to bludgeon you to death! IIiiiiiit's Jota Kujo!!!!" Jota walked out in his green outfit, sporting his cross choker. "Aaaand in the right corner, he's a quipster who loves anime and could whoop your ass faster than you can see! Travis TOUCHDOWN!!!" Travis walks out, waving to everyone in the arena and signing autographs on the way to the arena.

"For this bout, these two are allowed to cut loose whenever they please. But right now, let's see what their skill sets are!! Travis Touchdown wielder of the Peony Beam Katana and the badass dual wield Rose Nasty!" Jota took note of this as Travis could pull these out at any time he pleases. "And for Jota Kujo, he has the spiritual Charmy Green which was named after a dish soap detergent.. His abilities include the Emerald Star Finger and a timestop. That's... Ominous." Travis kept these in mind.

"And 3... 2.. 1..!"

"FIGHT!!"

Jota and Travis ran at each other but they didn't break out their big weapons as they just boxed with each other first. Travis suplexed Jota who attempted to use his time stop but the phrase couldn't be completed in time. Jota began throwing his fastest and hardest punches.

Travis began to feel blood be spilt so he decided to pull out his Peony blade so Jota summoned Charmy Green into reality. The sword and Stand clashed with each other but Jota was charging up his own soul to stop time like his father long ago did. Peony began to lose its charge, so Travis began to wait for the opening of Jota's punches.

Jota bounced away from Travis who began charging his Peony by shaking it in a um... Provocative.. Way, let's just say. Jota grew tired so he began to yell out "CHARMY GREEN! BRING FORTH THE WO-!" Suddenly Jota was slower. Travis smirked because he'd used the slow time chip in his Death Glove. He pulled out the dual swords of Rose Nasty and began to strike at Jota.

Jota's blood was beginning to spill so he began to turn up the heat on Travis who was slicing at Charmy Green's punches. Travis then yelled out the words "HENSHIN!" And suddenly, a gundam-style suit formed around him. Travis was bleeding under the suit but he still had some fight in him. "Oh Snippity-Snaaaap!!!" Jota smirked. "This is getting hectic. Let's both let loose." Travis understood what Jota meant. "Bring it on! I'll give you a little kiss."

Jota and Travis ran at each other at the peak of their strength. They smirked knowing that neither was gonna win but they would both go their separate ways in death. The two began punching at each other, Jota being enhanced by Charmy Green and Travis being enhanced by his suit. Jota was sent into a power slam then got comboed by Travis into a full Nelson! Jota was still smirking as he began to use his ultimate move, the Emerald Star Finger! He shot it at the center of the Gundam super armor.

Travis blocked the hits from this but suddenly, Jota began punching the suit without Charmy Green improving his abilities. The armor was becoming more and more dented so Travis summoned a hail-storm of bullets. Jota quickly summoned Charmy Green to cover him but the bullets seemingly phased through the Stand like it was nothing! Jota was bleeding all over his body but he powers through it like a very famous swordsman dressed in black. Jota walked slowly towards Travis who simply stood there, taking a breather from this.

Jota made sure his stand wasn't that injured. However, Charmy Green was filled with bullet holes just like Jota himself. Jota knew this might be his last few moments so he began to remember his friends. "Josuke... Koichi... Okuyasu... Dad... If I don't make it back, please avenge my death." Jota was at peace with himself. Travis, however, was dealing with some technical issues. His suit was down to fifty percent. "Damn, this kid packs one hell of a punch. Do I have any other things that can hold this guy off?" He then remembers the one blade he hasn't used. The Tsubaki Mk. |||. He knew that this Beam Katana was weak but this could end the fight quicker since he knows the kid is in pain. Travis smiles to himself. "He's just like me. Wanting respect but never gets any from anyone other then the people closest to him. If he and I survive this, I'm adopting him on the spot."

Travis and Jota walked towards each other when suddenly a bell rang out! "And that's round one! Let's give our fighters a breather." Jota and Travis looked at each other. Travis sent the suit away and grabbed a bottle of water. "This kid should have been a assassin. He and I would have a good rivalry. What type of water is this? Disani?" Jota was taking notes on Travis's fighting style but that's the thing: he didn't have a dicernable style of swordsmanship or boxing. Jota couldn't believe what he was gonna say but.. "I might have finally met my match. Travis is the number one assassin and the hero of the universe for a reason. If we don't win, I wanna be friends with this guy." The two fighters have grown to appreciate the other over the course of their brawl and they were thinking one thing. "He's my equal."

The announcers spoke up again. "Our opponents seem to have regained their energy. Let's see what they have in store. Round two begins... NOW!" Jota and Travis immediately got up, ready to show off their strength and swiftness. No suits, no Stands, no katanas, just pure fisticuffs. They landed a few blows on each other but then Jota hit Travis with a mean left hook which made the Crownless King bleed. However, Travis seemed to be proud of Jota for this. Travis got up and tried suplexing Jota but by now, Jota understood his moves. Jota caught Travis's fist and put him in a headlock! "Jota Kujo seems to have the upper advantage on Travis! Could this be the end of the No More Hero?" Jota, however, was holding all his muscles back from caving Travis's throat in. Travis whispered to Jota. "Kid, if you wanna let us both live, you just have to knock me out. I know you nor I wanna murder each other so just pretend you choked me out and I'll play dead."

Jota had tears in his eyes but he understood the plan. So he pretended to choke Travis to death when in reality, Travis was fine. "Holy crap! Jota Kujo has somehow beat the King of the Gamers! Wait, Travis is getting up! But Jota still won so, do we count this or...?" The second annoncer nodded yes in fear of being punched to death.

"Jota Kujo has won the final round of the tournament! As his prize, he has earned a full ride scholarship to the college of his choice." Jota helped Travis up and shook his hand. "Thank you for fighting me, Mr. Touchdown." Travis chuckled at the kindness from this giant of a teen. "Please, just call me Travis. You make me sound old by calling me Mr. Touchdown." They eventually go and hang out, training each other in their styles of fighting.

Friendship!

*At the office*

Ajax: "Th... I.. This was the most beautiful bromance I've witnessed. *Cries into tissue*"

Jason: "This fight was very, VERY close. As a child when Jota was first born, he was able to blow Polnareff back with a single punch. Travis's armor is what saved him from being turned into tomato soup. They also had experience in fighting people stronger then themselves. For Jota, he can be scaled to Jotaro who managed to punch with over 3 million pounds of force. For Travis, his fights against enemies like himself was perfect scaling. But the best part? If this fight were to have ended in a proper arena death a la TJ Combo VS Balrog, Travis would be the one to survive."

Sylvia: "The winner is Jota Kujo, the Remnant of Stars."

Chapter 15: Jon Snow VS Amleth

Summary:

The Bastard Son against a incestual Norse warrior!

Ajax: "Jon Snow, the warrior who sung a Song of Ice and Fire!"

Jason: "And Amleth, the mythical anti-hero who served as The Northman! These two are probably the most immortal mortals in their worlds. But who can truly beat the other in a one on one fight? He's Ajax and I'm Jason!"

Ajax: "For this fight, we'll be using the myths and film for The Northman. However, we will use a mix of the show and books for Jon Snow. It's our job to analyze their axes, chainmail and stamina to find out who would win a DEATH ARENA DUAL!"

*The Northman Avenges His Loved Ones In DEATH ARENA!*

Ajax: "There are tales of a man who sold his very soul to an enemy. Later he turned on his leader and claimed his armor and weaponry. This man is simply known as Amleth. Amleth's journey is definitely a strange one considering the um.. The incest involved. *Throws up in a bucket*"

Jason: "Yeah, that's one of the more uncomfortable facts for the Northman. The fact that's an actual story beat fucking disgusts me. I mean come on! I would rather be a mama's boy than a mama's boyfriend. The least we can do is cover his weapons. His weapon of choice in the daylight is a normal sword.. Okay then, next is the axe which can split a man in half. The force to break a tree with a regular ax is around 3,000 pounds of force. But his ultimate weapon is the Draugr."

Ajax: "Y-yeah, the Draugr are surprisingly enough a more successful weapon for Amleth to use. The only downside, however,is the fact that he has to be near a fucking volcano of all things for them to work. Other than that, he has a surprising amount of reaction time. Notably, he sidestepped an arrow that was being shot at him from no farther than a few feet away. He can enter a berserker mode where he ignores all pain inflicted upon him and manages to kill multiple enemies. Later down the line, he gained a more armored look but Amleth soon after ditched that."

Jason: "Considering all this, he should be damn near invincible, right? WRONG! Because he is, and I mean this ever so gently, fucking mortal. He can be taken down by normal means of killing which means if you have a sword or bow and arrow? He's going down easier than Fifty Cent. All in all, the Northman's legend will live on in history as the greatest story."

"I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I will kill you, Fjölnir."

*Jon Snow Knows Nothing About DEATH ARENA!*

Ajax: "Here we go... After defeating the last of the Kingsguard, Ned rushed into the tower to save his sister - only to find Lyanna dying from childbirth, having just given birth to Rhaegar's own son. Desperate to protect the life of her newborn child, a fading Lyanna pleaded with Ned to promise her that he would keep her son safe, and his true heritage hidden from Robert as he had been Rhaegar's most bitter enemy. Furthermore, the boy's existence was a potential threat to Robert's claim to the Iron Throne after the deaths of Rhaegar's other children, Rhaenys and Aegon, by his wife Elia Martell, who also perished during the Sack of King's Landing. In accordance with her last wish, Ned resolved to pass Lyanna's son off as his own bastard and raise him in his home castle - a great blow to his honor as he knew that his decision would shame both himself and his wife, Catelyn Tully. The child born was Aegon Targaryen or rather, Jon Snow!"

Jason: "That has got to be one of the most depressing origins for a character in the GoT universe. Both the child of Lyanna Stark and her captor Rhaegar Targaryen, Eddard Stark honored her sister's promise to never disclose the infant's identity by claiming the child as his own from a fling with a bar wrench named Wylla. Jon was raised alongside the Stark children, later deciding to join the Night's Watch. But a series of events convinces Jon that there is a great battle against the Night's King and his legion of undead that overshadow the pity squabbles between the houses over the Iron Throne."

Ajax: "His achievements are sadly few and far between. He led an army of Wildlings and Stark loyalists against the army of Ramsay Bolton. He also killed a White Walker with his Valyrian Steel sword, something thought impossible. Finally, he led the Night's Watch against a massive siege on two fronts. Again, it sucks that these feats aren't necessarily impressive."

Jason: "His main weakness - besides knowing nothing - is that he's generally inexperienced against dirty fighters."

Ajax: "Of all the Stark children Jon, despite being only half a family member, was more alike to Ned than any of the others, with a high sense of honor particularly since he had to fight hard to maintain a position of respect and love within his family. However, he eventually chose to join his Uncle Benjin as a member of the Night's Watch at the Great Wall, which separates the Seven Kingdoms from the wildlings in the North as well as other, more dangerous threats."

Jason: "Like an endless immortal army of ice zombies! At the Wall he kicked everyone's ass in combat training, humiliating everyone with his superior sword skills. But the Lord Commander of the Watch was pissed that this noble bastard was humiliating him and his men, so he was named his lowly steward, serving his food and cleaning his shit. Though among some of his peers he earned respect and friendship, particularly with the Lord Commander after saving his life from a wight. As a thank you he gifted Snow with his family's sword."

Ajax: "Longclaw is a Valyrian steel sword with a direwolf-head pommel. It was forged in dragonfire and is almost totally indestructible. Even the weapons of White Walker commanders, which shatter ordinary swords with ease, are able to deflect the deadly blows and kill the undead monsters with a single strike. "

Jason: "Jon has mastered sword combat by learning higher class techniques and the more savage skills of the wildlings, learning directly from them as part of an intelligence mission for the Watch. His initiative and leadership skills successfully defended Castle Black from a massive wildling invasion, which earned him the position of Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and the respect of contender for the Seven Kingdoms Throne, Stannis Baratheon. His leadership didn't run well with everyone though, especially after rescuing wildlings from the White Walker army."

Ajax: "Which leads us to the biggest weakness Jon has. His stupidity and sense of honor.."

Ygritte: "You know nothing, Jon Snow."

Jason: "He's always set on doing the right thing, even if he doesn't think it will affect him in the long term. Eventually his plan totally backfired and his enemies in the Watch had him killed."

Ajax: "After all of this, he was claimed King by all of Westeros! His rule is more absolute than that of Queen Cersei. All hail... Jon Snow, son of House Stark and son of the Targaryans."

"Thousands of men don't need to die. Only one of us. Let's end this the old way. You against me."

Ajax: "All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all!"

Jason: "It's time for a DEATH ARENA DUAL!!!!!!~"

*The Fight*

We open in the middle of the forest leading towards a wall. Amleth has noted that there's another man calling himself the Northman and he wants to test this man's combat skills. Jon was gearing up for another adventure outside the wall when suddenly, he notices a man wearing nothing other then pants and a sword on his front waist. He goes towards the stranger. "Excuse me, citizen. You may want to enter the walls and head towards Westeros. That would be much safer then out here where the Draugr and White Walkers roam."

Amleth looked up at the man, recognizing him as Jon Snow, the legitimate son of the Targaryans. "So you are the new Northman.. You certainly have earned the title." Jon tilted his head in confusion as Amleth drew his sword. Jon sighed. "I don't want this fight.. But if that is what I must do to earn your trust, so be it." Jon drew Longclaw and the burning sword in his other hand.

FIGHT!!

Amleth and Jon walked around each other. Then they clashed blades, the metal clanking against them. Jon tried to stab the Northman with the flaming sword. He succeeded but somehow, Amleth survived it. Jon spoke. "Are you... Immortal?" Amleth smirked at Jon and responded. "No... I just don't fear death." Amleth then pulled the flaming blade further into him so he could stab Jon with the axe.

Jon winced, pulling back. Amleth took this chance to run at Jon with his axe, but Jon's eyes suddenly shrank. He was healing slowly. Amleth struck Jon in the shoulder but Jon wasn't moving. Jon then began slashing at Amleth while screaming! The slashes from there began slowing down until Longclaw slammed down onto the slowly cracking ice.

Jon noticed the ice and ran back towards the wall. Amleth followed the Son of Targaryan but there was a volcano going off nearby. Amleth smirked and ran towards the lava, Jon following suit to end this fight. They arrived at the volcano and a set of bones were drawn out while Jon drew his flaming sword once more. The two clashed blades once again. However, the bones were melting as Jon slashed Amleth's chest open! Jon sheathed his blades. "You had no honor... But you were a good fighter." Jon walked away, bleeding from his shoulder and arm.

K.O.!!!

*At the office*

Ajax: "Well then. Looks like Jon knew what to do in this fight."

Jason: "This fight was clear cut the second Amleth made his quip. Jon was more a sword fighter then Amleth who would rather pummel you to death then cut you up. Another thing that helped Jon would have been his shapeshifting but that wouldn't have been possible during their fight on the volcano. In the end, Amleth just couldn't cut through the flaming fury of House Stark."

Ajax: "The winner is Jon Snow of House Stark, son of the Targaryans."

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Death Arena