Chapter Text
September 27, 2023
~~Loner by Terror Jr~~
Charlie Spring probably wouldn’t have wandered into a sports bar in Portland, Oregon. Being a gay man doesn’t make the idea of attending a sports bar in the states very appealing. But he figured on this Wednesday evening with only a few occupied tables and one other patron at the bar, he would pay homage to his American heritage and sit at a sports bar watching a university men’s rugby fixture solidly in pub country.
He also probably wouldn’t ever admit to anyone the real origin of his interest in rugby – thighs. Thighs and butts in those little shorts. Oh, and strong rugby arms. He has Anna Shepherd to thank for that.
Twelve years ago, in the first week of classes his freshman year of college, Charlie made friends with Anna – one of, tragically, only a few women in his undergraduate mechanical engineering program. Anna had randomly sat down next to him in his ENGR101 – Intro to Engineering – lecture and they quietly traded funny judgements about their classmates and professor from the last row in their lecture hall.
After class, they walked the eight blocks from the Engineering West Hall to the closest on-campus coffee (that wasn’t a Starbucks) and sat at a table tucked into the furthest corner with their iced coffees. The first week of classes starts in late August which is still fully summertime, hot and humid, in Richmond, Virginia. An hour and half of easy and hilarious conversation passed quickly. Both finding out that they share a similar biting, quick wit and taste in music. From then on, Charlie and Anna were nearly inseparable. The two eventually lived together, formed study groups in their mutual classes, and attended many concerts and music festivals together over the years.
Anna’s high school sweetheart boyfriend – he was a muscly meathead with a name Charlie will never be able to remember – was on the VCU men’s rugby team and they had a fixture playing against Longwood University at a park in the next county over. By this point, Anna was fully aware of Charlie’s history with high school bullies, and so with multiple reassurances, the wonderful friend he was, Charlie caved after Anna had begged him to tag along to the first match of the season. She sweetened the deal by being the designated driver, providing a filled flask, and reminding Charlie of the other school’s name being extra fun to laugh about. Eighteen-year-old Charlie learned that day the beauty of strong rugby arms the sport and continued to support his school’s rugby team for his entire tenure at VCU.
Attending that rugby match was actually the first step in healing some of the deep wounds he suffered in high school. Charlie grew up in Manassas, Virginia, a suburban area in NoVa. His mother, Jane Spring, an English ex-pat, worked in DC proper and his father, Julio Spring, a Mexican American, worked as a realtor in the DC metro area. Unsure of whether it was just the times, a suburb that butted up against more rural Virginia, or something about Charlie himself, he was mercilessly bullied after he was outed as gay in high school. The major offenders of his torture were the members of the varsity football team.
All four years she was at VCU, Anna stayed with that same boyfriend, and he was on the team for all his four years at the school, as well. Anna regularly dragged Charlie along to several parties and other outings hosted by the rugby team. Most likely because of Anna and muscly meathead, the team was nice enough to Charlie when he was around.
Coming back from his walk-through of old memories, Charlie continued to slowly nurse his second glass of whatever cider the bar had on tap. He focused back on the Nottingham v. Loughborough fixture – one set of the ‘Round 1’ fixtures of the university level Super Rugby championship – playing on a TV that was mounted on a garishly red wall. Next to the screen is white text that reads “Welcome to North London’s Premier Sports Bar”.
How many sports bars are there even in London?
From the minimal amount of time he had spent in sports bars in the states – Charlie preferred a brewery to a bar any day – he reckoned this was a decent take on the American drinking establishment.
He was loosely rooting for Nottingham as that is the university his mother attended before she left England for the U.S. When the Loughborough fly half just narrowly missed a tackle and touched the ball down behind the try line, Charlie flopped against the back of the bar chair with a small grunt of frustration.
Get ahold of yourself, Charles. It is just a game. Charlie pulled a large swig of his cider and set it back on the bar after his internal self-scolding.
When he turned back to face the wall with the TV screen, he saw a man around his own age standing between chairs two seats down the bar from his own. Tall and heavily muscled, the man was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt, grey skinny joggers, and classic black Vans sneakers; he had auburn hair that fell in a neat swoop across his forehead and freckles that covered his arms and face. Charlie raked his eyes quickly up and down the man’s profile.
Someone doesn’t skip leg day.
After paying for his drink and thanking the bartender by name, the stranger turned towards Charlie and took the seat next to him.
Fuck, why did this man just sit down next to me? There is a whole bar of empty seats.
Once fully seated, the man turned his body back towards Charlie with an annoyingly cheerful expression on his face and asked, “You watch rugby?”
Obviously.
Not in the mood to have a conversation with a human who somehow was the sum total of an anthropomorphized golden retriever puppy mixed with every bully he ever had in high school all grown up, Charlie, without taking his eyes off the screen, set a slight scowl on his face and deadpanned, “No, I’m pretending to watch this fixture so that strangers will approach me and ask me questions with obvious answers.”
Unphased by the sarcastic response and with an even more irritatingly upbeat expression on his face now, the man asked Charlie, “Are you from the states then?”
How did that response not tell him to fuck off? Do I have to hiss at him?
Charlie turned his gaze to look at the man with the same expression he always wears in public, the look that says, ‘I am wholly uninterested in your actual existence’ (or at least that’s what he hoped it communicated). Still unaffected by Charlie’s attitude, this exasperatingly excited stranger continued talking at him, “Your accent sounds American, though I don’t know if I would reliably be able to tell a Canadian accent from an American one to tell you the truth. The U.S. is a lot larger than England and we have so many regional accents, I imagine the states closest to Canada would probably have accents that sounded similar.” The man seemed to be rambling now.
What the actual fuck? Why is he still talking to me?
Utterly unsure of how to deal with the most annoying human he’s ever met, Charlie silently turned back to the fixture TV screen. “Which team?”, the man asked Charlie, motioning to the screen with the top of his beer bottle.
Before Charlie could think about responding, he answered in a clipped tone, “Nottingham”.
Shit, I should not have responded. This is not how I wanted to spend my evening. I wanted to wallow in my loneliness, alone, because that’s what I’ll always be…
Charlie had only wanted to get out of his hotel room, which is nice enough, but it isn’t home and feels a little claustrophobic after multiple days staying there without his creature comforts – bike, drums, sound system. He did not want to talk to a man who definitely has a rugby body and a grating personality.
He was supposed to be spending this time thinking about where to live and figuring out London before real life started again on Monday. Charlie just moved from Portland, Oregon to London 4 days ago following his securing a role as a Project Manager at a company doing renewable energy work. Getting the job, that was the easy part; it is assimilating and figuring out where to settle that is difficult. His first two days in the city were rough from jet lag, but the exhaustion eventually worked in his favor and helped him flip his sleep schedule quicker than expected. London is such a large city, and not that Portland is small by any means, but there were so many choices for where he might want to live; the sheer number of options were overwhelming. He had the same problem when he moved to Portland from Richmond, Virginia too. Something about a cross-country move seemed a little simpler than a cross-ocean move though.
Tori, Charlie’s older sister, an editor at a big London publishing house moved to the city 6 years ago after securing her own UK citizenship.
Thanks, mom. I guess you were good for something.
Already established in London, Tori indefinitely offered him one the guest bedrooms in her townhome as he ‘figures things out’. And truth be told, he would probably take her up on that offer, but going from living alone in his own apartment for the last 7 years, 3000 miles away from his closest family member, to living with his sister and her… emotional support human would be a big adjustment.
The worst stranger he has ever had the misfortune of meeting at a bar snapped Charlie out of his reveries, “Can I get your next drink? We still have at least 30 minutes before the end of the fixture”, that ridiculous grin still plastered to his face.
Has this man never had a single unfortunate thing happen in his little perfect, happy life?
Charlie looked down at his glass and somehow it was empty; he didn’t remember finishing it. Thinking about his mother darkened his mood even further, he spit out “no”, with far more of a disgusted tone than he intended – even for this irritatingly chipper man. Without looking back, Charlie walked out of the ‘premier sports bar’ hoping that no more strangers would interrupt his wallowing.
September 28, 2023
~~Find an Island by BENEE~~
Being cut off from having more than two drinks allowed Charlie to wake up without a hangover at least, but the stranger at the bar was still on his mind when he woke up.
Why was the man so… happy? And why did he insist on being so friendly with me?
Charlie used the heels of his hand to roughly rub the sleep from his eyes and as he sat up, he shook his head like he was trying to shake the memory of the man out.
What cruel deity allowed the worst people to be so attractive?
Charlie stretched in the bed and swung his legs over the side, saying to himself out loud, “Let it go, Charles.” He was just some idiot in a bar. There were more important things to think about right now anyway. Like coffee.”
Charlie has 2 more boroughs and 3 more flats to explore today before taking a trip to Scotland this weekend with Tao and Elle.
Tao Xu was Charlie’s oldest friend. They met when they were both 13 on Tumblr (and thankfully both were actually 13-year-olds and not the predators that their parents warned them about). The two boys had bonded over Radiohead, being social outcasts, and the coincidental connection that Charlie’s mother had grown up in the same town in Kent as Tao. Over the years their friendship’s closeness grew and diminished as life circumstances changed. But after Tori moved to London and Charlie was able to visit the city 1 week every year, their friendship tightened. Elle Argent was Tao’s girlfriend; Tao and Elle had met in secondary and have been together ever since. Charlie and Elle’s relationship was much newer by comparison, but the two were still quite close and even had their own chat they maintain between just the two of them. He loved that his friends were so happy, but it was going to be hard for Charlie to be a third wheel all weekend to the most together couple he had ever met.
His final day of London housing exploration sped by. Charlie tried a coffee shop in each of the boroughs he visited. Unfortunately, none of the areas he explored all week really called his name. Very soon he will be getting swept along in the current of getting up to speed at a new organization, in a new city, in a new country. He knew he, at least, needed to have the final decision made about his living situation before his inevitable proclivity to overwork kicked too far into gear.
All told, he had toured twelve different 1-bedroom flats between Monday and Thursday, and they had all started to blur together. Each place had some flaw that he was trying to keep separate as he made his deliberations. Charlie’s requirements for a place to live, in theory, were quite simple.
- A coffee shop that served a delicious oat milk iced coffee, located somewhere between his home and the underground station for work.
- An underground station within 15 minutes by foot, and with minimal line transfers to ease the morning commute.
- A gym that was any easy walk or bike ride away.
- A good selection of nearby restaurants for takeaway when making food was far too daunting a task.
- Convenient to Tao and Elle’s flat in Clerkenwell and Tori’s townhome in Islington.
Please for the love of god, an attractive and nice queer man that he could meet, fall madly in love with, marry, and live happily ever after with for the rest of his life.
Maybe a weekend away with the most sickeningly in love couple will help me make this decision?
Charlie actually rolled his eyes at that thought.
September 28 – October 1, 2023
~~My Friends Never Die by ODESZA~~
Even after many visits to the UK in his childhood and the last six yearly visits with his sister, Charlie never had the chance to visit Scotland. Tao and Elle had both managed to get Friday off work; easier for Tao – a freelance cinematographer – than for Elle – a creative marketing specialist at an LGBTQIA+ non-profit – and both wanted to take Charlie for his first visit.
Travelling first to Inverness by train overnight, the three friends met Thursday evening at the London Euston station to board the overnight sleeper train. Tao’s mom graciously purchased their tickets for the train so that they could have a room to themselves. It would be a tight squeeze for 3 people in a double bed, but a free ticket was a free ticket. Charlie struggled with sleep as it is, so a night of difficult sleep was nothing new. If anything, it would allow him to get up early and head to one of the viewing cars to watch as the train carved its way north through the countryside of Scotland.
Charlie’s assumption was correct; he did not sleep through the night. By 06:00, he fully gave up on the idea of sleeping any later. After a somewhat revitalizing shower, he left his two sleeping friends to venture out to the car where he could hopefully acquire something resembling coffee and watch the scenery pass by in the first light of day, music blasting through his headphones. Elle joined him as the train was just leaving the Kingussie station, the western edge of Cairngorms National Park barely visible in the early morning light. Charlie removed his headphones when Elle joined him, but they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes just taking in the idyllic views unfolding in front of them.
Elle turned away from the window and asked, “How are you doing, Charlie?”
Charlie has only met Elle in person the 6 times that he visited London as an adult, but that has not affected the closeness he feels with her. She always had a way of making him feel comforted and cared for in both their in-person and virtual conversations. He could feel Elle watching his face as he thought about his response, considering whether he should keep it light and brief or give her the real answer. Charlie knew that she would be able to tell if he wasn’t honest and opted for the full truth. He swallowed roughly and looked at the frayed edge of a rip in one knee of his jeans and told her, “I’ve been worse, but still not amazing. Still feeling a bit heartbroken, you know?”
He saw Elle nod in his peripheral vision and put her hand on Charlie’s. He looked back up at her, meeting her gaze. She said – in that quintessentially Elle tone, both stern and soothing, “Charlie you deserve better than Elijah. You deserve someone good and kind and who can love you the way you love.”
Fuck me, I really don’t want to cry on this train.
He gave a tight nod in agreement at Elle, breaking eye contact to focus on shoving back the tears. Sensing the emotion of the situation and with the car starting to come alive as they neared their destination, Elle moved on to more comfortable topics. They talked about Charlie’s flat hunting, nerves about the new job, his sister and younger brother, Olly, Elle’s work at the LGBTQIA+ non-profit, Tao’s latest movie obsession. Tao joined them just in time to receive a quick ribbing about the movie. The three ate their breakfast looking out the window, made their way back to the room to collect their belongings, and readied themselves for the day’s excitement.
Prior to arriving in Inverness, they had arranged to pick up a rental car that they would then return in Edinburgh on Sunday. With the train arriving early in the morning on Friday, the group drove out to Isle of Skye in the rental and picked up a car-suitable lunch on the way. Conversation remained light, fun, and playful for the entirety of their day trip to and from the Isle of Skye, neither Elle, nor Tao pushed Charlie to discuss the breakup to keep focus on the amazing views of scenic Scotland.
Per the trip itinerary that Elle and Charlie painstakingly prepared in the weeks leading up to Charlie’s move, they had a short hike at the Fairy Pools completed by 13:30. They were parked and prepared to start their slightly longer hike to view the Old Man of Storr by 14:30. They made good time on their hike and the crew was back in the car for their return trip to Inverness by 15:45. The 3.5 hours back to their hotel seemed to pass a lot slower than their departure. But the promise of a comfortable king bed for the three to share and a restaurant with a phenomenal menu in the hotel was a wonderful and warm welcome.
Charlie, Tao, and Elle quickly freshened up before making their way to the restaurant just off the hotel’s lobby. All of them equally famished from the exhausting excursion of the day, they ordered hearty appetizers and main courses, but decided to split a dessert. Finally, all utensils had hit the table for good, and Tao re-opened the floor to discuss Charlie’s love life. A flat look on his face and affect to his voice, he asked, “So are you going to finally tell us what happened with Elijah?”
Elle exclaimed, “Tao!”
~~Death Wish by Terror Jr~~
Charlie just groaned at his friend. He knew that the question was coming after he had put off telling them the full story until he could see them in person. A long and uncomfortable minute of silence later, Charlie caved and launched into the details. Elijah Tailor was Charlie’s 35-year-old, trust-fund-having, incredibly attractive and monumentally douche-y ex-boyfriend. Another example of a cruel deity making the worst people good-looking, Elijah was tall and muscular – a swimmer’s physique – with hair that could be categorized as golden and wavy. He had full lips and a strong jaw that always had the perfect amount of stubble grown out; a gorgeous man, and he carried himself like he knew it, too. Naturally, as millennials so often did, Charlie met Elijah on an app. What was supposed to be a single hookup turned into a nearly yearlong and rocky situationship. Charlie wanted more connection with Elijah, and Elijah enjoyed his pathetic devotion, at times treating Charlie like an afterthought at best, sometimes as just a whole to fill, and even worse at other times. Elijah used to sometimes tell Charlie how needy we was. How difficult he was to be with. How it would have been easier if they never met.
God. How did I let that go on so long?
Prompting his breakup and shaking him to his core, two months ago, Charlie found out that Elijah had multiple other guys he was still sleeping with, some in Portland, some in the other cities he visited for ‘work’. For Elijah, work meant maybe attending a meeting with his father, but definitely entertaining clients in cities all over the world. His relationship with Elijah was similar to many of the men that Charlie dated or ‘dated’ in the past. A long string of terrible men that he allowed to treat him terribly, so he didn’t have to be alone. Laying out all the details for Elle and Tao, describing just how terribly Elijah treated him, made Charlie feel like an idiot. He was talking into his hands, rubbing his face, “I know it’s ridiculous that I am still so hurt by it 2 months later, but I can’t help but feel like after so many terrible relationships, this is all I’m ever going to get.”
Elle pulled his hands away from his face, forcing eye contact, and in a sterner voice than she would normally use, said, “Charlie, listen to me very carefully. No one deserves to be cheated on. And no one deserves to be treated terribly by partners. You aren’t the awkward 17-year-old who was outed and bullied in high school anymore. You are a strong, confident, caring, funny…”
Tao interrupted Elle’s praise to add “…bitchy…”
She rolled her eyes but continued in the same tone, “…and bitchy man that Tao and I love. Elijah is a prick, and he never deserved the love of Charlie Spring. It’s hard right now, but you will get through this. You have gotten through worse and come out the other side an amazing person who loves fiercely. This is just a blip. You’ve just started a new and exciting chapter of your life.” Elle added additional emphasis for the last part, “Please promise me that you will try to start living again and you won’t exist as a little sourpuss everywhere you go for the next few months.”
Damn, called out.
Charlie’s mind wandered back to the annoying, hot stranger from the bar a few days ago. With a deep sigh, a quick nod at Elle, and adding more sarcasm than was necessary, he retorted, “Fine Elle, I promise I will start living my new life in London. How do you propose that I start?”
Asking a question was a mistake. He knew that as soon as he saw the huge grin on her face, Elle responded, “I’m so glad you’ve asked. When we get back to the room, we’re going to get your profiles on the apps updated. Plus, Tao has his camera, so we can snap some gorgeous pictures in Cairngorms National Park tomorrow!” Tao rolled his eyes at being volunteered for headshot duty.
Charlie knew that there was no point arguing with her.
The rest of the Scotland trip flew by. Other than the first night, the trip featured very little conversation surrounding dating apps or terrible ex-boyfriends.
On Saturday, the group drove from Inverness to Cairngorms National Park for a much longer day of hiking. They stayed Saturday night at the same hotel in Inverness, had dinner at a local restaurant in town, and followed that up with a couple of rounds of drinks at a distinctly Scottish pub across the street, both a quick walk from to the hotel. Sunday was an early day as they wanted to have as much time possible to explore Edinburgh and shop before they boarded their return train to London. Charlie returned to his hotel in London exhausted, which thankfully, helped him fall asleep much earlier than he would have otherwise. The time with his friends, the beautiful countryside of Scotland, and Elle’s kind words even improved his overall mood.
October 2, 2023
Charlie woke up Monday morning vibrating with anxious energy. But he had prepared for the day, laid out a plan to make it easier. Last night he charged his headphones and Kindle for the commute and checked the outfit he had set out before leaving for Scotland: his favorite slim fit button up shirt in an azure-blue color that made his eyes look amazing; charcoal gray, slim fit slacks that hugged his small, but round runner/cyclist butt; paired with a black leather belt and his favorite dress shoes – ankle high, lace-up black leather Oxford boots.
Living in Portland, he had grown accustomed to reliable and expansive public transit. London’s transit was another beast entirely and Charlie had planned out his underground stops and pulled up the timetables on his phone so that they were ready to go if he needed them. The hotel Charlie was staying at was right across the street from the Highbury & Islington underground station. Charlie needed to arrive at the office in the Southwark district by 09:00, but he wanted to get there at least 20 minutes early Monday, so he left his hotel room at 08:00 on the dot. On his way to the underground station, he stopped by the coffee shop next to the station and ordered an iced honey cardamom oat milk latte.
Note to self, this latte satisfies bullet point number 1.
After an easy commute on the tube and a short walk from the London Bridge underground station, Charlie’s nerves hit an all-time high as he walked through the narrow opening between two buildings that led to the entrance of his new office building. Driscoll Consulting shared a large, daunting office with multiple other companies; the entrance was a row of glass and revolving doors, the windows on the rest of the floors were reflective and tinted green, tan concrete and marble made up the face of the walls. When Charlie reached the security desk opposite the main entrance, he gave the guard his name and told him where he was supposed to be going. In response, the man lazily asked for identification and handed him a visitor badge with rushed directions on where to find the lifts.
There was another desk immediately across from the glass-doored entrance to Driscoll Consulting on the 4th floor of the building. Charlie had to use his visitor’s badge to scan through that door. A young, slim redheaded woman was sitting at the desk, she smiled warmly at Charlie and asked who he was here to see. “Hi, I’m Charlie Spring. I’m new to the company and I am meeting Arthur Lange at 09:00.”
The woman beamed up at him from her chair, “Oh Charlie! I was expecting you. I’m glad you’re here early. We can get your badge situated before you meet with Mr. Lange. Come with me and I’ll have our IT guy, Matt, snap your picture. Once your badge is printed, I’ll run it over to you in the conference room you and Mr. Lange will be using this morning.”
The redhead, Kate, was a chatter.
Just my luck again. Why are there so many happy people in this city?
She spent the entire time with Charlie carrying on about the location of the building, the people that worked at the company, how nice the company was to work for, the unseasonably warm day it was, and so on and so on. After Charlie’s picture was taken, she led him through another glass door into an area filled with cubicle upon cubicle, then to an empty conference room along the same wall as the door. The placard to the left of the door read ‘Conference Room 412’.
“I’m going to leave you here to wait for Mr. Lange. I’ll be back shortly to drop off your freshly printed badge and I’ll have a little bag of goodies for you, as well. Just some items that have the company name and logo printed on them as a welcome gift. But don’t hesitate to come find me if you have any questions!” Kate whisked out of the room leaving a deafening silence in her wake; Charlie now heard his blood pumping in his ears.
A quick glance at his watch told him that he may have arrived a little too early. In an attempt to not focus on his nerves, Charlie got out his Kindle to read a little before his day starts. He’s read the same paragraph approximately 32 times when the door to the small conference room opened. Immediately, he recognized the man from their video interviews. Arthur Lange was the only person at Driscoll Consulting that Charlie had met so far – besides Kate; he was the only person in his interviews and was the person who was responsible for getting Charlie settled in on his first day. He was a tall, medium build man with a close-cut beard that was graying and looked to be in his mid-late forties. Mr. Lange shot out his hand as Charlie stood to greet him; the two men exchanged standard greetings, and both sat down to get started.
They spent the next 30 minutes reviewing at a high level all the mundane details of working in an office job – the same details you are told over and over with only minor deviations at each new office. Mr. Lange glanced at his watch, “So Charlie… I wish I could spend more time with you today getting you settled, but someone has decided that I am important, and I must attend every Teams call under the sun. I’m going to leave you in the care of my best performing Project Manager. He should be here any minute. He’ll give you a tour of the office, get you acquainted with the rest of the staff, and hopefully answer any and all questions you should have about your role. You will also be shadowing him for the next four to six weeks until you are ready to be set free and work on your own projects.” The last part of Mr. Lange’s statement trailed off a bit as he busied himself, brows furrowed, reading whatever message had just come through on his phone.
Just as soon as he was reading, the door to the conference room opened again. Both Charlie and Mr. Lange looked up at the same time. Charlie exerted monumental force to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. Mr. Lange stood and motioned for the newcomer to shake hands with Charlie. “Charlie this is Mr. Nicholas Nelson. He’ll be your guide these next few weeks. I’m sure you’ll get on swimmingly. Now you two get acquainted. I’m going to pop down to Kate and see what’s taking so long with Charlie’s badge.”
The man who just shook Charlie’s hand was the annoying stranger from the bar.
~~foreplay by siouxxie sixxsta~~