DamnGood Teacher: Dead End Part Two

by Sketchpad

Summary:

The battle between May and Brine comes to a head as she tries to find as many clues to finding Jack as there are leads remaining.
And then, there's Blitzo...

Chapter 1

The wet darkness. In the depths of the Envy Ring, it was home. Soothing. Calming. 

Despite that damned force field wrapped snugly around his head and the police dealing with his cut bait, Brine had enough presence of mind to appreciate the setting, hidden under a massive dump truck parked by the yard's shipping entrance.

The high clearance of its undercarriage felt like a low cave, giving him ample shelter and space to settle further into its center. At the same time, he listened for approaches, or better, the cops' withdrawals. But he knew that it wasn't safe to stay.

Even now, he prepared to slide out from under the metal beast and escape on foot under the storm's cover, crossing the service road ahead and taking the main road back to his motel near downtown.

A squish of trodden mud alerted him, and he froze, eyes swiveling to the sound.

A pair of lavender hooves had stopped by the entrance. Guardian.

Brine slowly dug one hand into the soaked earth. Sparks danced along their fingers as he let his anticipation to electrocute Guardian fuel the killing blast that would soon radiate from his shelter. Then, he stopped.

He thought better of it. She wasn't alone. Her shriek could carry on the wind and lead police to his location. His safety was more important than a deserved kill. 

'A better time, darling,' he swore.

He saw her feet run forward, out of the yard. It was time to do likewise.

He held his breath and sidled out from under the truck, fully aware that the same ambient sounds of the heavy rain could cloak his predators as quickly as they could him.

Standing in the mud, he peered through the agathion bubble but couldn't find Guardian. She could not have gotten far, he reasoned. Across the road, a small street separated a warehouse's block from an auto repair shop's and could have led her to shelter. 

Another glance from behind showed police lights flashing on the other side of the yard, but no approaching cops. Time to move.

Brine stepped when a sudden thunderclap forced him to crouch where he stood. As the sound was closer, he actually discerned two noises: the thunder...and what sounded like a gunshot in concert with it. 

Suddenly, his vision cleared. The low visibility and the stereophonic sibilance of the rain still disoriented everything, but the wretched yellow bubble around his head had disappeared, and his mind went to work. 

Was it the police? Did they see him and fired a coincidental warning shot? There were no calls for reinforcements, so that was unlikely. Then, it clicked. The bubble vanishing after the gunshot meant that something happened to Guardian.

'Don't stand still!' he chided himself, still standing out in the open. 'You're exposed! Move!'

He crossed the road just as the shape of a van exited from the small street and turned toward the main road. Staying by the auto shop's wall for cover, he rounded the corner and saw no one on the block.

Making for the shop's entrance, he stayed so close to the wall that he noticed a single, sizeable hole in its surface by the corner of his experienced eye. A bullet hole, no doubt. The one that was heard.

Then, a thought hit him. A police van would be hard to hide, even in this messy weather. He heard no sirens, radio chatter, or the splash of boots in the deepening puddles and saw no lights flashing from the block. If it was here, why did she continue in its direction? Why risk being caught and detained? 

Unless...it wasn't a police van.

Turning to the hole in the wall, he took out his motel room key and dug into the breach while holding his other hand under his work. He felt something softly fall into his saturated palm and ran his thumb over it. 

He clutched the object with silent recognition before pocketing it and vacating the neighborhood.

---

The conscious world blinked back to May through bleary eyes. 

Gradually, her mind began to reboot. Orientation: semi-upright. Location: unknown but orderly. Pain Status...non-existant. That concerned her.

"Thought...resurrection was...painful," she mused to herself.

"It is. Think you'd be in Recovery if you did pull a Jay Cee?" came a voice from across the room. "You'd have been in my little vault with the rest of the screamers until it passed."

May widened her eyes, took a breath, and examined her surroundings. The room was small and functionally lit but looked like it was furnished by a dentist from the turn of the last century. 

She sat in a partially upright, spindly, bare-bones examination table. A kidney pan half-filled with a clear liquid held thin medical instruments on a side table nearby. Her hat and jacket hung on a wall hook. A wastepaper basket, a wall mirror, and a desk with a chair completed the no-nonsense decor.

She felt an even pressure around her head, touched it, and felt gauze wrapped professionally around it. The pain and color of her black eye had faded under her domino mask, and she was briefly reminded of her stay at Marchocias's manor.

"What happened?" she slowly asked. "What time is it?"

An old candle-headed doctor clad in a stained lab coat smelling of whiskey and cheap cigarette smoke approached.

"Saturday morning. You were brought here for treatment, girly. Gunshot wound to the head gave you a concussion. Don't worry about payin' me for my services. He already did."

"Who?"

"An old regular around here. Whenever he or his crew needs to get patched up, they come to me, no questions asked. I may've been bounced out of Baphomet General over an ethics charge, but my hands are as steady as the day I first put on a scrub," he muttered proudly.

Just then, a recalled word gripped her with dread. "Wait. Gunshot? I thought I was...struck by lightning."

"Nope," he drawled. "Seen enough wounds in my day to know the difference. We demons are a sturdy bunch, but you're lucky. That bullet grazed the part of your noggin that was the thickest-near the base of one of your horns. Otherwise, I wouldn't need to be a mind reader to know what you were thinkin' about. Know what I mean?"

May shivered inwardly at his gallow humor. "I see." 

Still, she had to ponder that one. It couldn't have been Brine if she was shot. As hard as they fought each other, he never once used or even needed, a gun. He rightly prided himself on his electrical powers. Did she walk into a police ambush instead? It was so hard to see. If it was, then...

"How did I get here?"

"Who saved your life?" The doctor straightened his stoop with a posture of bemusement. "That troublemakin' sonovabitch, Blitz, that's who."

May's eyes lit with shock as he paced the room in explanation.

"Didn't want me to tell ya, but...Oh! Damn, I guess I did. Ah, well, I'm a better sawbone than a messenger, anyway. His money's always good, though."

"How long ago was this?"

"You've been here for about a day. Flew in here with you, looking like he owed Mammon money. Didn't tell me where he found ya, but he looked broken up, just the same."

She softened with thoughts of the brave Imp, daring the police, bad weather, and an insane killer to rescue her. He might have tried to carry himself as anti-social, but there was no denying how he felt about her now.

"Blitz," she said with a delicate, lopsided smile. "He does care."

"That's the painkillers talkin'," he scoffed. "But, he paid the bill before he hauled ass, so there's that. Who're supposed to be, anyway? A stripper or somethin'?

Ignoring the question, she asked, "Am I well enough to leave?" She hoped so. She still had important things to do, and they were even more critical with Blitzo in the picture now.

"Mmm, I guess so," the doctor shrugged. "I'll give you some pills for the road if you get dizzy spells."

She slipped off the makeshift bed, thankful those spells hadn't hit her yet and made for her hat and jacket. "Thank you, sir."

"Where are you off to, anyway? More trouble?"

She turned to the doctor with a newborn spring in her step and a hopeful glint in her crimson eyes. "No. I've got things to do and someone to thank. Personally." With an eager smile, she left the room. 

Watching her go, he mused world-wearily. "Personally, huh? Yeah, she's a stripper."

Chapter 2

Rancid Olligut took his ticket from the counter, thankful this calm Saturday afternoon that he decided to leave town while the getting was good. It wasn't as crowded on the weekends due to less business and leisure travel, so it was easier to keep an eye on security and anything else that could pose a threat.

Singular patrons milled in the halls, and arriving or departing crowds passed through the tall archways of the gilded, filigreed, sunburst, and jeweled terminal of the ironically beautiful Pentagram City's Morningstar Elevator Station, whose advertisements claimed that "You, too, can feel like a fallen angel..."  

He gave them all a wary glance before anxiously looking up at the arrivals and departures board above him. 

It was on its way. Soon, he would be done living with his head low and living as a new, unsuspected citizen in a new Ring.

"Elevator #600 to Wrath on approach. Elevator #601 to Sloth now boarding," the terminal's intercom blared through the concourse, signaling fellow travelers to gather by one of the towering, slanted doors of the ascending car.

One pair of doors parted, displaying a throng of passengers standing by the threshold, preparing to leave the arrived car.

"Excuse me, sir," a woman's voice behind Rancid asked. "Care for some reading material on your trip?"

Rancid gave a bitter huff. Now wasn't the time to humor some religious nutjob who pushed the faith of out-of-towners like Set or Loki and practically lived in the terminal. "Not interested."

"But, sir. Who wouldn't be interested in...second chances?"

Confused about that 'second chances' line, he faced the proselytizer. 

When he saw a head-bandaged Guardian Demon smugly holding up his former badge as proof that she somehow tracked him, his brain shut down. He drove his hand into his jacket, drawing a pistol with no more preamble.

A "Whoa!" jumped from her as she raised her agathion. The bullet bounced from its surface, zipped past the shooter, and exploded the felt crown of a demoness's fancy hat. 

"Dammit!" Guardian hissed. She hadn't considered ricochet.

The lady with the ruined hat gave a scream that started a chain reaction of pure panic. Fast people scattered across the concourse; others ducked behind benches and polished pillars. 

Hearing the ruckus, the disembarking passengers turned as one and marched back into the car, praying to the Dark Lord for the massive doors to close.

Fearing collateral damage from another deflection, Guardian couldn't face him among the spreading crowd; thus, she bolted for a nearby pillar as gunshots began to chew into it. 

"Rancid, I just want to talk!" she yelled over the din.

Transit security swarmed the area, and Rancid knew that he was exposed where he was. Death by crossfire was in his immediate future. Stumbling into a run, he went to cover by a pillar before they got into better firing positions. 

The passengers' prayers were finally answered as the doors slid together.

From the corner of his eye, Rancid saw his means of escape preparing to depart. Summoning the last dregs of courage from his days as a security guard, he rushed through the gunfire and leaped into the car to the gasps and shrieks of the unlucky patrons within.

Watching him enter, Guardian realized that it was now or never. If he made it to another Ring, his information would be lost to her. 

She bolted from the pillar, ignoring the guards' warnings not to enter, as the doors inched into their closing. She twisted sideways and slipped in just as the doors sealed shut.

As the elevator descended, the car bound for Wrath finally arrived at the terminal and opened its doors.

---

Despite the situation, Guardian looked around the car's environs, wide-eyed, as if this was her first ride in an elevator, which, in this instance, it was. Especially one this elegant.

Its interior was plush, ornate, and spaciously huge, like the terminal. Styled in the terminal's decor, it looked like a mobile part of the architecture; more than ample room for standing on the polished pentagrammed floor, but it also provided eight stately benches in the center of the car, along with four others placed around the base and top of a staircased dais. Above the seating, a ponderous, jeweled eye surveyed all.

On the other side of the car was a smaller platform with a pedestal that sported buttons for reaching other Rings, communications to and from the various stations, and so forth, manned by a terrified operator currently the center of Rancid's desperate attention.

The crowd of passengers huddled by the dubious shelter of the seated side of the car, as far from the intruder as they could, hoping Rancid wouldn't turn his attention on them next, while Guardian stood in the middle of the turmoil. 

Rancid swung his gun at her, cursing that he didn't lose her. "Keep back!"

Remembering that she couldn't raise her shield, Guardian raised her arms and calmly said, "I don't want to stop you from leaving. I just want to ask you some questions."

Ignoring her request but still keeping his eyes on her, he directed his speech to the operator. "Where's this thing going?"

"Sloth," the employee gulped.

"Dammit!" Rancid seethed. He took the wrong elevator. "Get me to Wrath! Now!"

"I can't," explained the operator. "An emergency st-"

Rancid marched to the control platform, forcing its worker off. "This is an emergency! Get over there with the others!"

The operator obeyed and jogged to the crowd, adding his fears to theirs as they watched the tableau play out.

Rancid felt marginally safe from the platform with its panoramic interior view. No one could approach or make sudden gestures without being spotted, which gave him time to think about his next move. However, there was the vigilante to consider.

"Yeah! I know who you are," he said, waving the gun toward her. "That Guardian bitch that keeps popping up all over the place. You took down Dapper! Hanna called me the other night and said the police said Clod was dead. And then she's gone after that? Dapper wasn't enough for you, was he? You're picking us off, but not me!"

Guardian inwardly griped. Two hostage situations in one week? She couldn't even blame Brine for this, and a stress ball couldn't be made to quell her tensions. Still, she calmed down, hoping the truth could cut through his hysteria.

"You're right. Someone is doing that, but it's not me," she explained. "It's someone named Brine. He works for the one who hired all of you."

"Jack?" Rancid blurted in shocked remembrance.

The eyes behind her mask lit with progress made. "Yes! You know him, right?"

"Yeah, we heard of him."

"Have you ever seen him?" she pressed.

"No. None of us have."

"Did he have a go-between, someone who a-act..."

A wave of nausea forced Guardian to her knees before a painful tingle crawled over every inch of her stricken body as if she were being stripped to the bone by a sea of fire ants. "Acted on his...Aaghhh!"

Rancid glanced at the arm of the travel indicator over the doors. Starting at one end of the half-dial, the arm was now inching closer to the symbol of the next Ring along the car's destination.

"Uh, oh. You're a Sinner, aren't you?" he asked with a sadistic smile, realizing that half of his problems would be swiftly resolved. "Know what happens to naughty little Sinners who leave the reservation?"

Maintaining her wits, she looked at her hands and arms...and could see through them to the floor as she began to fade out of metaphysical existence. "I-I think...I've got an idea!"

Finally feeling in control, Rancid leaned against the control podium, looking down at the demoness smugly. "Damn, y'know, I've seen snuff films about this, but I never saw a Sinner go poof in front of me. I'll have a pretty cool story when I make it to Wrath."

Whether from watching the drama of a soul fighting to stay cohesive or a reaction to the sadism displayed as it went about, the operator's voice rose with a confident timbre. "You won't make it to Wrath! All the stations are alerted now!"

His fun interrupted, Rancid shouted him down. "Shut up! I'll think of something. They won't risk a shoot-out with all of you here, and I'll kill any of you to get me outta this. In fact..."

The large jeweled eye overseeing everything caught his attention, and his inspiration grew dark. "They're probably watching me now."

He yelled in the eye's direction. "I want the stations clear! No cops! No security! And to let you know I'm serious...I'll kill a hostage right now!"

Amid the terrified gasps and wails of the crowd, he regarded the vigilante on the floor, quickly and agonizingly becoming transparent. "Not you, though. Shooting you would be a kindness, and I want to make sure you're gone."

"Guy..." Guardian managed to say, though her voice sounded ephemeral, like a weak, oscillating echo. "You're getting...on my nerves."

On her hands and knees, she tried to stay lucid and aware but could feel her mind...her self...slipping away by the second. A hostage was going to die with her, and, at the moment, she didn't care about causing a ricochet to save him or her. But, the point was dangerously moot, as she didn't know who in the crowd to use her agathion on. 

And the elevator kept descending. Time fled from her. She weakly raised her hand.

Rancid pointed the gun into the screeching crowd and pulled the trigger. 

The agathion suddenly sprung up around him, and the bullet rebounded off the curved insides of the bubble, deflecting the slug, at point-blank range, high into his chest, opening an entry wound as large as a golf ball. As the shield dissipated, the gun fell from his numb hand, and he dropped, wheezing, onto the platform.

A nearly-transparent Guardian finally collapsed across the floor, trembling in torment and terror of being extinguished. Then, the floor shuddered underneath her as the car came to a stop, and the indicator arm froze just short of the next Ring's symbol.

Standing over the spreading gore of Rancid, the operator watched over her worryingly, his finger pressed against the emergency stop button.

"Ma'am, are you all right?" he asked, hoping it wasn't too late.

Sounding like a ghostly wind, Guardian managed a shaky thumbs-up. "Peachy...Can we...go...back to the...penthouse?"

"Sure thing!" he assured her over the crowd's grateful applause. "Hang on, everyone."

---

Reopening Pride-side, the elevator was met with a throng of authority figures waiting to receive the passengers.

Escorted from the car by security, they were set aside to be assured that this would never happen again by litigious-fearing administrative staff while police and assigned coroners dealt with the corpse on the operator's platform.

After the station's staff spent time with the passengers, a police officer approached them and explained that they weren't allowed to leave yet, as they were to take statements of what happened. As they grumbled in acquiescence, one of their number, a shabbily dressed demoness in an oversized coat, sunglasses, and a feather boa, slipped from the group.

Thankful of the passengers' appreciation, generosity, and distraction while carefully strolling through the lobby, The Guardian soon exited the station and snuck away from the thoroughly distracted officers maintaining security at the crime scene. 

---

Slung over a chair in the corner of a motel room was a pair of colored overalls. Leaning against one of its legs was a small, squarish shape wrapped in grey plastic lining. 

White smoke from a soldering iron wafted and bunched against Brine's face as he melded two more wires to the tiny, green motherboard he carefully worked on atop a small folding table near his bed.

Time was not kind to him now. His attempts to kill his target had resulted in more heat coming down on him than her. Only the suggestion given to him to endanger children brought her out of hiding every time, but now he saw diminishing returns.

Depression forced him to take a break and listen to the news anchors' drone from the sole TV in the room.

"Once again, the mysterious Guardian Demon interceeded and saved the lives of a busload of students..." reported the anchordemoness.

He pursed his lips in an attempt to keep his temper.  

"Helping some crackpot's PR was not what I was hired for," he grumbled. "And now hearing them singing her praises is just the olive on this shit sandwich."

Looking down beside the motherboard was a small, steel musket shot. He placed a fingertip upon the pellet and gently rolled it back and forth.

Thinking of the shot's owner caused sparks to pop against the metal surface of the ball while he continued to silently roll it around.

Chapter 3

The dull-colored bottle of rotgut stood tall on Blitz's desk. Beside it was his nightmare plush. One enticed him to numb his mind from his mistakes. The other, ironically, reminded him of the depths of them. Both were there to torture.
 
Lit by the sole desk lamp in his dark office, he slowly rolled the emptied shot glass in his nervous fingers while he stared morosely into space. In his mind, a war blazed.

'Of all the stupid, dickhead moves to make...in the fucking rain? Some super killer you are!' the bottle seemed to say. 

'I didn't know!' Blitzo's mind protested. 'I swear, I didn't! I'd never pull the trigger if I did!'

'Why the hell was she dressed like that?' it countered. 'What the hell was she into to have Brine on her ass? That's the real issue!'

'It's not your fault,' the plush consoled. 'She'll tell you when she's feeling better, when she's calm, when she's ready. She trusts you.'

'Trust you?' the bottle scoffed. 'She's smart! She's a teacher, for Satan's sake! She'll never trust you again when she finds out what you did! Never care about you again! You did that! You always, always do that! It's in your fucked-up nature! It's in your blood! Your daddy's blood!'

His teeth grit on that point. He glanced back at the damned bottle, eager to call a short recess on his emotions, and almost laughed at the thought of his drinking while on the job.

'On the job,' he thought bitterly. 'No calls or clients? Won't be a job for much longer with my luck. Why is the crew even here today? Easy. Because I'm the boss, and I don't need them thinking I don't have my shit together.'

'Or maybe they're here so you can save face,' one of his thoughts slyly suggested.

He gave an internal shrug. It sounded like something he would do.

"Hey, Blitz, how long are you gonna be holed up in there?" Loona called out from the other side of the closed door, making him start.

"I'm busy in here! You know, running a business?" Blitz fired back, more angry at himself for jumping than anything else. He remembered that his office was once the setting and his desk, the victim of Mayberry's first hellish fury in the past. He could still break under her red wrath.

A knock on the door began to kindle his own. "Hey, future unemployed, I said do not disturb!" he glowered.

The door opened, admitting light and a pleasant, head-bandaged May inside. "I agree! You're disturbed enough! Why is it so dark in here?"

Turning on the room's lights, she strolled over to his potted lemon tree and gave the fruit a nostalgic sniff. But, it might as well have been Death itself crossing his threshold from the reaction he made. With a gasp, he half-ducked behind the dubious safety of the desk. 

"May!" he squeaked. "Look, I-I didn't know, okay?"

May went to his desk and leaned against the edge, shaking her head after noticing the liquor bottle. "I know. I should've called first. You don't have to apologize. Nothing wrong with a little drink to help unwind from a tough day."

Thinking back to her pyrrhic victory in the ring elevator, she sighed off-handedly. "I should know. Anyway, I came over so we can talk."

"T-Talk?" he sputtered. Clearly, it was the quiet prelude to a murder. "Uh-whu-buh-a-buh, uh, what about?"

"I...know you saw me last night," she said evenly, looking into his shifting eyes. "We can't deny that. Ever since I met you, I kept thinking about...hurting you."

Here it comes, he thought in a panic. Maybe there was time to de-escalate. "You...have? Listen, you gotta understand. I-I didn't mean for it to end up that way."

May stood from the desk thoughtfully. Perhaps, considering the reasons for her vengeance one last time before committing to them. "I know. That's why I held everything back. But, because of what you did last night, nothing stops me from doing what I should have done long ago." She walked over to him.

The vision of his marble desktop succumbing under her two-fisted smash flashed back in his terrified mind, but now, the surface was replaced with his broken, ruined face. "Stay back! I've got witnesses!" he yelled. "They saw you come in!"

May stepped up and gave him an affectionate hug. "Thank you, Blitz. I didn't think I meant that much to you."

He froze in her arms, waiting for his bones to deform in her crush, but it felt comfortable and intimate. He was confused. "Huh?"

She released him and held his shaking hands, chalking the trembling to nerves. "I know. It's silly, and I don't know how you knew where I was, but it doesn't matter. Because now I can finally come clean about who I am."

Blitz gave a sincere thanks to Satan for not dying...yet. Now, he only had to give the impression that he had nothing to hide in the first place. A quick joke would suffice. "Hey, if you just wanted to say that you bat for the girls' team, I'm totally on board."

That earned him a light punch to his shoulder. "No, you dodo," she chided amicably. "I mean that I'm...The Guardian Demon."

His confusion returned. "What the hell's a Guardian Demon?"
 
"It's...what I call myself when I can't help children as a teacher." Just then, a flash of anxiety hit her at explaining what most could interpret as an extreme tangent of her professionalism. "I've been stopping as many child kidnappings as possible lately," she hastily justified.

"Is that why you wore that get-up?" he asked, satisfied that part of this personal mystery was revealed. "And what kidnappings?"

"What kid-Don't you watch the news?"

"Not if I'm not on it," he shrugged.

Being reminded of who she was talking to, May sighed. "Anyway, I do what I can but can't always be everywhere. I already lost two kids after I was stabbed the other-"

Blitz put his ego on a choke chain after hearing that. "Hold the fuck on! Stabbed? When did that happen?"

"Why?" she asked confidently, although it may have sounded as if she was making light of his concern. "So you could be my black knight and rescue me? I took care of him and his boss, dear heart."

"I knew it! I knew you were in over your head! You're just a teacher!"

He may have answered his concerns honestly, but she prickled at his 'just a teacher' remark. "And once upon a time, you were just a clown! Why aren't you back there now, trying to make people laugh?"

"Hey, honey! I don't have to try, okay? Sue the fuck outta me for worrying about you!"

His open admission to caring about May stunned her, making her childish retorts burn her ears with shame. Long fear of censure for her secret being exposed made her too defensive, especially to the one person she should feel she could say anything to.

"You're right," she admitted. "I'm...I'm sorry. You...didn't deserve that."

"That's all right," he waved it away. "I'll just chalk that up to your time of the month. Wait, do Sinners have periods? Anyway, what were we talking about again?"

"Blitz, will you be serious? I'm trying to say that..." She looked into his eyes deeply. "Now that you know who I am, things will be different between us, and my life is in your hands." 

Blitzo sobered. He was already paying a secret penance for almost killing her with his recklessness. If someday, he forgot, in the heat of the moment, and betrayed her trust, she truly could be killed by his hand, scaring him deeply.

"Whoa, I...uh...I'm sorry I put you on the spot."

"No, no! I'm not saying that to scare you," she explained quickly. "I'm just saying that I...trust you, Blitz. You saved my life. I don't care if this is Hell; you're wonderful, and I'm blessed to know you."

You're wonderful, and I'm blessed to know you...

In all his life, the Imp had never heard anyone say those words to him. He and his insecurities were run through with the deftest thrust of her blade of understanding, proving yet again that she was, by inches, killing him with her kindness. As a professional, he mused that she could have become a remarkable hit-woman if she wanted to. 

"Wonderful, huh? Well, don't spread it around. I've got a reputation to maintain," he jested coyly to diffuse the inner conflict.

"Well, I don't care," she gently challenged. "And since it's open season on secrets, I might as well jump in the crosshairs and tell you that I...think I'm in-"

The desk phone decided, then, to ring.

With sweet, eager thoughts of clients on the other end, Blitzo switched the office phone to speakerphone and said smoothly, "You got Blitz. Talk to me."

"You rat-brained piece of shit!" The voice exploded from the tinny speaker. "You've got some fucking nerve trying to poach a bounty from me!"

Blitzo looked askance. "What is this? Some Jerky Boys shit?"

"I know you're clueless most days," the now familiar voice charged. "But don't play that shit with me! I followed that Guardian last night. I heard the shot, saw your van, and found your stupid bullet! Where the fuck is she?"

The Imp's demeanor relaxed after deducing who it was. "Oh, is that you, Brine?" he asked amiably.

He turned to a perplexed May, whispering, "Old college buddy of mine," before returning to him.

"Hey! Look, Brine, I didn't know she was your target," he tried to soothe. "Well, that's a lie. I knew she was. Which is why I asked you where you were."

"You followed me?"

"Yeah," the smug Imp confessed, proud of his cunning. "I was hoping that if I bagged her first, we could work out a deal and split the bounty."

May was confused again. "Bounty? What bounty?" she interjected. "I thought Brine was an assassin, like you." 

Upon remembering the context of the conversation, she stared at Blitzo, coming to an even more salient and far darker issue. "Wait a minute! You shot me?

To Brine, the Imp muttered, "Hold on." Then, as the blood drained from his face, he cooed to her, "May, I can explain."

"You shot me?" She peered at him through a smoldering look that matched her dawning understanding.

"No-Now, calm down, May. The doc said it was just a flesh wound."

"You shot me...for a bounty?"

Blitzo shrugged, hoping his gesture would see things from his perspective. "Well...I-I mean, if you put it like that-"

"A fucking bounty!" she screeched.

"It was a...big bounty?" he guiltily clarified, as if it would stay his execution.

May's demonic aura flared like a nuclear detonation in miniature. 

From her receptionist's desk, Loona spotted the dashboard light up under the sign of "Crazed Client," as she, Moxxie, and Millie cringed at the sounds of May tearing the office apart trying to get to Blitzo as the two ran around the desk.

"Why are you running, Blitz?" she asked, hoping to lull him with a sudden, manic smile. "I just want to thank you, personally, for last night...with my bare hands!"

Blitzo maintained his distance from her, keeping the furniture between them. "I'm not really up for a hand job right now, but I appreciate it."

"Agghhh!" May ran from the side, hoping to overtake Blitzo as he leaped away, not noticing his bottle and plush getting knocked to the floor in the chaos. 

They were like two similarly polarized magnets repelling each other during this frantic circuit. He stopped only when she stopped, watchful for which side she would take off from. "Okay, you're upset! That's understandable!"

May thought about vaulting over the bothersome desk and pouncing on him like a big cat on a gazelle, but Blitzo proved that he was nothing, if not quick. "I'm gonna break your neck! That's understandable, too, you trigger-happy, smooth-brained...Agghhh!"

"Hey!" Brine called out. "Is that you, Guardian? Are you there?" He told the stricken Blitzo, "Hey, dickhead, let me talk to her!"

Blitzo nodded to the phone. "He wants to speak to you."

"Shut up!" she snapped.

"Hey," Brine addressed her. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're still alive. No thanks to Sure-shot, here."

"I'm happy, too!" Blitzo added.

"Shut up!" they yelled in unison before May spoke to the eel demon. "What do you want, Brine?" 

"Y'know, how it is. The cops are pissed off at me 'cause they think I play too rough. But I managed to set up some alone time for us one last time. Come to the roof of the city hospital's parking garage tonight, around nine-ish."

"Garage?" She knew it was a trap, but the location was odd, to say the least. "And if I'm a no-show?"

"Well," he said simply. "I'm hoping the bomb I put in said hospital would change your mind."

Ice settled in her stomach. Again, he would dangle the threat of innocents to draw her out. The thought of their possible deaths through her inaction extinguished her aura immediately.

"All right, all right," she said, already sounding defeated. "I'll be there."

"Bitchin'!" he exclaimed. "See you soon." He hung up, and now May could focus all her attention on her one and only.

"May, how was I to know you were the target?"

She fought the urge to yowl in anger again as she stomped to the front of the desk. "You...don't say anything to me! Ugh! Ignorance is Blitz! Why are you even doing this bounty stuff? I thought you were a damn assassin!" 

That prompted Blitzo to move away again, ending up by his chair. "I am! I-It's just that...after that shit with the counterfeiter, bad news traveled fast. My clients list is dryer than a nun's snatch these days, and money's just as tight."

May remembered. Destitution could drive him to those extremes, she considered. But, even his recklessness was beyond the pale when it became this life-threatening. "You know what? I-I don't even care anymore! Y-You're such a train wreck! I-I try to get close to you, I try to understand you, and you just keep coming up with more innovative ways to fuck up!" 

He raised his hands in placating agreement. "You're right! I'm the fucking best at fucking up! But, I swear, if I had known it was you in the rain, I would've never pulled that trigger!"

With a sad sigh, she sagged from the burden of this and Brine's chaos and calmed down. Then, with a voice as even as a quiet pond, she asked, "What do you want from me, Blitz?"

He blinked at the unexpected question. "For...you not to kill me?"

"No," she softly clarified. "I mean, 'what do you really want from me, Blitz?' Based on what you've told me, everyone you've ever dated had something you personally wanted. I'm just a teacher, so I can't give you much money. I'm not famous like Verosika, so you can't parley that into anything, and I'm not like Stolas, so you can't enjoy his perks. So, I ask again. What do you want from me?"

The irony didn't flee from him; he felt more cornered from that uncomfortable question than if she had physically pinned him down. But the fear was still the same. She wanted to tear into his core, taste his vulnerability, and sup on his weaknesses. 

'Don't allow it!' his insecurities screamed. 'Fight her! Protect yourself!'

"Wha-What do I want?" he threw the question back at her, finding strength in his comfortable, old defensiveness. "Maybe I just felt like looking at something pretty! Maybe I remembered your sob story when you first came here, and I felt sorry for you. Maybe hanging out with you and giving your clingy ass a pity fuck, in the end, would be my good deed for the decade, huh?"

Tears swelled in her eyes, but she refused to buckle. "Just tell me."

"Listen, babe. My dad wasn't shit," he continued coldly. "But, he taught me something. Nothing beats love...at getting what you want. He used it on everyone he knew. Used it on me so I'd play along with his fucking cons, and when I got older, I used it on everyone else."

"I'm the player, honey, not the played. When I strung my exes along, nobody got hurt 'cause they knew they got something out of it, too. The only valuable thing I've got. Me."

May straightened, digesting the truth set before her. It felt like the aftermath of her suicide; the initial pain that led to and during it, subsiding with the knowledge that what was done was brutally done. It was better to know now that it wasn't meant to be than to waste more time with Blitzo.

"So, in lieu of searching for someone to really love you, you engaged in transactions with people, using your body as a bargaining chip," she coolly reasoned. "There's a word for people like that. I'm sorry about how your life turned out, Blitz, but I don't have feelings for a whore. I have feelings for an Imp. When you decide what you are, you let me know."

She turned off the lights and opened the door, ignoring an eavesdropping Loona, Millie, and Moxxie falling into the office. She sadly stepped past them and left the headquarters. 

Shattered in his chair, Blitzo sat in the gloom. Noticing the absent bottle, he looked to the floor beside the desk and saw it lying next to the plush, itself on its side, soaked and stinking from its spilled contents. 

His employees looked up from the floor at him, a broken king in the center of his kingdom, ashamed and saddened by his craven, go-to behavior and numbly mourning the possible loss of one of the most excellent things to ever come into his hellish life.

Chapter 4

Suppose the denizens of downtown Imp City discussed where to dip their whiskers. In that case, they might be directed to the dingy, dim distilleries of a dive designated Darby's Dungeon.

Within the gloom illuminated by the neon signs of beer brands and a weak TV hanging from a high corner, the air was typically heavy with the weight of depression or deflation, cigarette smoke, and the pong of stale, spilled alcohol.

To Blitzo, some days, it was a sanctuary. It was that today.

The thinly built but observant bartender/owner, Darby, was an old hand at reading his patrons, often anticipating drinks by their moods upon entering. It wouldn't be long before their desire to discuss the day would manifest.

More drinkers were in the surrounding booths than at the counter, so this afforded him and Blitz some privacy as he probed Blitzo for the heart of the problems he tried to drown in liquor.

"Hey, Blitz, how much are you gonna put away before you forget about him or her?" Darby joked after noticing the same played-with, half-full shot glass in his hands the barkeep gave him a few minutes prior.

"If I'm dead in a corner from alcohol poisoning," Blitzo suggested. "That'll be a good indicator."

"I'll have to put you in the back, then. Dead barflies attract real flies, for some reason." 

"I fucked up, Dar," Blitzo said into the glass. "Real bad, this time. Y'know, I've dated people I could have been friends with before, but for some reason, it always fell apart."

"Can't imagine why." Darby rolled his eyes at Blitzo's typical evasion of culpability. 

"But...she was special, y'know? There was something about her that was...genuine. Like she was nice to you because she wanted to be. She's not rich or powerful, so she has nothing to fall back on if things go south between us. Nothing to gain. But, because of me, she lost some actual happiness in this shit hole."

"She must be some missy."

"Mrs.," he corrected glumly.

"Oh, married, huh?" the barkeep asked salaciously.

"On Earth, yeah, and that's the weird thing. Most Sinners just say 'fuck it' and go native down here, but not her. She was this pollyanna in The Living World, but she decided to stay that way here. I guess because of that, I kinda forget about how fucked up my life is when I'm with her. She-She brightens me up!" he found himself chuckling incredulously. 

Darby nodded. "Her husband must've been really lucky."

"Her husband's a piece of shit," Blitzo snorted derisively. "He cheated on her. That's why she's down here. If I'd known he'd hurt her like that, I'd have lit his ass up...pro bono."

"Whoa!" the barkeep's worldly eyes widened with that confession. "You'd do a freebee, and no kids were involved? You really have fallen for her, huh?"

"Does it show? But, yeah. I think I fucked up. What's the strongest shit you've got around here? I'm in the mood for some liver failure right about now."

"My money's on electrocution," suggested Brine's silhouette from the bar's doorway. "Way faster."

"Shit," Blitzo sighed while not turning on his stool to regard him, the familiar voice lowering his spirits by a healthy notch. "What do you want, you fuckin' bottom feeder?"

Brine gave a chuckle as he walked in. "You know, a little this, a little that. Where is she, Blitz? Heat's kinda on me right now. So, the sooner I make her a statistic, the sooner I can leave this fucking town and get paid."

The Imp was grateful that Brine reminded him that May was still in danger. He clearly wasn't sanguine about that, so the boozy fog in his mind started to clear. "Who put a bounty on her? Must be worth a lot if you're looking over your shoulder for cops."

The bounty hunter stopped to affect a thoughtful pose. "Well, let's just say my client is a bit strange and leave it at that. As for the cops, well, me and collateral damage go a long way. But then, when you can do what I can..."

He snapped his fingers and made a loud, bright spark. "Things tend to get theatrical. Now, tell me where she is, and I'll absolve you of the sin of trying to poach her from me." 

"Buddy, you couldn't clear the sins off my book," Blitzo countered with a mischievous grin. "Besides, what if I get cute and don't talk?"

"Don't get cute. Get smart." 

"Get bent, Chief."

Brine rolled his eyes. "See, now you're getting cute, and not in a good way." With that, he continued his walk to the bar.

Hearing his footsteps on approach, Blitzo whispered to the nervous bartender, "Hard stuff. Lighter." He glanced at Brine, calling out, "I'm serious. I don't know where she is. You want proof?"

The footsteps stopped, and a hand slapped on his shoulder. Brine grabbed it and spun the Imp around on his barstool to face his harasser.

Brine froze in surprise. Blitzo stared evenly at him, his mouth shut and cheeks bulging. The only clue as to what was in there was a slight dribble leaking from his lips. Below those lips was a lit lighter.

A spitting stream of liquor sprayed from his mouth. As falling droplets fell onto the flame, they ignited, and the spray became a gout of fire that spread and ignited the booze that coated a yelping Brine's face and clothes.

That's about ninety," the assassin quipped before sending Brine to the booze-stained floor with a fast right hook. 

As Brine wiped the burning liquid from his face and rolled to put out the flames, Blitzo swiped the bottle of rotgut from the counter and prepared to bash the eel's head in.

Brine's hand launched a bolt into Blitzo, driving him across the room and the other patrons fearfully from the establishment.

Recovering, Brine stood and put on his brass knuckles after swatting out the last flames. "Okay, fuck, playtime's over. You're gonna tell me where she is, one way or another!"

Slowly standing while willing his muscles to stop twitching, Blitzo challenged, "We'll see, Blondie!"

Blitzo jerked back to avoid a quick haymaker and spun away from the booth he fell against in time for a fierce, following jab to miss his face. 

He turned to face Brine, blocked a left cross, lashed a jab into his face, and stepped in with an uppercut that staggered the eel-demon back into the counter as Darby ducked behind it.

Apparently, the Imp wasn't soused enough to make thrashing him easy. He was quick and always hungry for openings to attack. He may have been an asshole, Brine remembered, rallying himself, but he was an experienced asshole.

Glancing at the counter's surface, Brine smiled slightly as he straightened and faced the incoming Blitzo, shoulders squared and fists raised.

When the two were at arms' length again, the eel's finned tail whipped up, snatched an abandoned mug by the handle, and flung it hard at Blitzo's head.

The Imp's attention went to the glass for a split second to deflect it away, and the battle was lost.

The eel's hand reached over and clutched Blitzo's the base of one of his curved horns, releasing his neuro-electrical impulses in his victim. 

Blitzo saw the hand too late and tensed as his body betrayed him. His hands rose and squeezed tight around his thin throat.

"Damn, she's...right!" he gurgled as his digits braced behind his neck to apply more leverage to the thumbs that pressed millimeter by millimeter into his windpipe. "I do have strong...fingers! Fuckin' trapeze work!"

Stepping over to the side but still maintaining contact, Brine asked calmly. "I gotta ask. Why are you helping her, anyway, Blitz? I heard over the phone that she can't stand your ass. What's she got over on you?"

Regrettably thinking of her through his failing consciousness, he confessed, "Something you'll...never get."

Brine gave an amusedly sadistic grin. Blitzo had feelings for her. "Yeah? Well, get this. If you think this'll let up when you pass out, you're wrong. Dead wrong. Until rigor sets in, I can still control your muscles. You'll choke yourself to death...even after you're dead. Now, where the fuck is she?"

Blitzo's bulging eyes gave a deathly thousand-yard stare as bright spots danced in the corners of his vision, but he was determined to make his last breaths count for something. 

"Fuck a...broken...bottle..." he spat numbly.

Behind the counter, the still-hidden Darby held a landline phone and yelled, "Hey, you! I just called the cops! You better get the hell outta here!"

Sudden thoughts of incarceration and a lost payday struck a worried chord in the eel, and he released Blitzo, who collapsed to the floor in a gasping heap.

"Shit!" he hissed, glancing at the doorway before burning him down with his eyes. "You're lucky. The only reason you're not dead is because she's not. Gotta prepare for tonight, and Blitz, if you ever try to fuck up one of my jobs again, I'll make you claw your eyes out and eat them. Later, buddy."

Brine tore out of the bar as Blitzo slowly began to stir and gather his shallow coherence with wheezing breaths. Feeble fingers fished around and found his hellphone in the jacket pocket as Darby rushed around the counter to help him.

"I think I scared him off," said the bartender, noticing the phone held weakly in his friend's hand. "Don't worry, the cops are coming."

Blitzo's head barely moved as he shook it in the negative. 

"May..." he croaked, dropping the phone to the floor with its contacts list on display. 

The bar went dark soon after.

---

He awoke later, blinking from the darkness into his familiar living room. Prone, he felt something cold and wet on his forehead, and someone was nearby.

On reflex, he patted himself for his gun and felt it under his jacket. Feeling more at ease, for the moment, he regretted not using it on Brine at Darby's when the opportunity was there. Going straight into fisticuffs without being disarmed first? He blamed it on his besotted, emotional state.

Ahead, the sound of water from a faucet stopped, and he forced himself into alertness.

Mayberry walked from the kitchenette with a bowl of cold water. Noticing him back among the living, she placed the bowl on the floor near the couch and sat carefully beside him.

"You're lucky I was on the freeway when that bartender called," she grumbled, removing the rag from Blitzo's head and dunking it into the bowl. "I've got enough trouble bringing those lost children back without caring for a bigger baby like you."

Chagrined, Blitzo muttered, "I'm glad...you came for me, May."

"You should've told me that Brine was with you. I would've gotten there sooner."

"To save me?"

"For the sake of irony, maybe," she scoffed.

"I guess I deserve that one."

"You deserve more. If I'd gotten him off of you, it would've been so I could torture you myself. You're lucky I don't hold grudges for too long."

"Our first meeting says otherwise," he smiled slyly.

"Don't change the subject," she snapped at him. "What did he say to you?"

"He asked me where you were. I didn't tell him, even when he put my lights out. See, I still thought about you."

An annoyed growl came from her as she tossed the cool rag back on his head.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, preparing to stand. "I can't stay long." 

He could hear the icy tone in her voice despite her ministrations. She needed to deal with Brine, but she also sounded like she wanted to put distance between Blitzo and herself. 

Rightly so, he glumly knew, but the notion still hit him that, whether she bested the eel or not, this could be the last time they could be together in any meaningful way. Which meant that it was literally now...or never.

"Wait. Wait, May." Blitzo reached over and caught her hand. Despite her annoyance, she stopped and sat again, curious.

"What is it?"

"I...I'm not gonna say, 'I apologize' to you."

May rolled her eyes with a slight frown. "Why am I not surprised?"

"No. That's what assholes and politicians say," he clarified. "I want to say that I'm sorry for what I said back at the office. You didn't deserve any of that. It's not your fault that I'm a pussy when it comes to my feelings sometimes."

"And what do you feel?"

"I told my bartender that you're one of the nicest people I know and that you make me forget about my shitty problems when we're together. That was a mistake. I should've told you that, and if I wasn't such a punk-ass, I could have. The only question is...can I start over?

"I think the bigger question is...did you mean everything you just said?"

"I do. Do you forgive me?"

May gave a mock-thoughtful look, pondering the depths of such a question.

"Well?"

"I'm thinking about it," May said before sighing, "No, I guess I'm not mad at you. But you still hurt me, Blitz." 

His head hung low. "I know. I was wrong, and the fact that you still wanna talk to me or have anything to do with me tells me I'm luckier than I should be."

"Maybe," May said with a shrug. 

"Yeah," he acknowledged guiltily. "You best believe I was scared shitless when I thought I lost you, though." 

"You were?" May wondered if she heard right. Blitzo was confessing his fear...of losing her? 

"Fucking petrified." It was when Blitzo heard himself say that, so sincerely, so fearfully, so freely, that the impermanence of things...good things...hit him the hardest and finally lit a fire under him. "You asked me what I wanted earlier. I'll tell you."

Seeing into Mayberry's eyes didn't help deliver the words that he felt needed articulating. Instead, a quiet, faltering delivery was the best he could muster.

"I want what...Mox and Mill's got. They're not livin' high, but they're just so happy together. I want that. I want to be happy with someone. Someone who'll put up with my bullshit because I mean something to them, y'know? Not because I'm exciting, a great lay, or I take their minds off their troubles at home." 

"Is that why you liked being a clown growing up?"

A wistful smile graced the Imp's face. "Yeah. Under the tent, people could love me for a while."

"Wanna know a secret?" he asked, for once, not worried about digging deeper. "Every time I came back from a job, I thought about the targets I've taken out. Did they have anyone who missed them? If they did, then they were still luckier than me. I burned so many fucking bridges that when I go into the black, that'll be it. There'll be no one who gave a fuck about me in the end. I'll die alone...and that scares me. More than anything."

"What about Moxxie, Millie, and Loona?"

He shook his head while skilled hands capable of taking life, now fiddling like a nervous schoolboy's. "They care, but it's not the same. I...kinda like you. You're kinda good for me, y'know? You like being around me for some reason, and it's actually fun. You're like...someone I can look forward to, y'know?"

"Dammit, I'm sayin' 'y'know,' a lot, aren't I?" he caught himself. Then, he brightened with realization. "Ha! Well, peg me sideways and call me Moxxie! I'm actually trying not to fuck up a good thing in my life! My therapist would definitely call that a breakthrough!"

"So, you think I'm a good thing?" she asked cautiously, hoping she deciphered him correctly. "Then, you do feel the same?"

He rubbed behind his head self-consciously. He couldn't walk it back now. "Well, I certainly wouldn't kick you, I mean, it outta bed.  Look, I've got more issues than a newsstand. I-" 

Mayberry's gently closed his lips with a slim finger.

"If Hell's taught me anything," she said sagely. "It's that the past is the past. We can only make do with today."

"Not On My Watch"

(First Verse)
(May)
I thought being his wife was fine,
Rose-colored glasses shattered.
I've long since left that life behind, 
My future laid in tatters.

But, after all I've seen and done, 
My body bruised and battered.
I still can stand and say to you,
That love, my dear, still matters...
******
It's one of life's most storied lessons, 
I learned hard.
The road ain't smooth, and it can hurt,
With every given yard.

But, I can see in you that we,
Both came through it with scars.
Let's shoot for the moon, and if we miss,
We'll play amongst the stars!

(Blitzo)
God, you're a hopeless romantic, May! 
Love isn't what it seems.
Don't get mixed up with me, 
It's just a lifetime of extremes.

I'm hearin' what you're layin' down, 
But, for me, this game is old.
Stop tryin' to steal my heart, 
Let alone save my soul.
******
Got better things I wanna do, 
You gotta understand.
Like being buried in my work, 
Can't waste time holdin' hands.

An asshole workaholic's, 
The summation of my plans.
I lie, romance, so I'll advance, 
A gift from my old man.

(May)
Well, friend, you're not the only one, 
Who tamped down their desire.
When I came here, my old career, 
Was what I re-acquired.

Instead of golden sunshine, though, 
I just see more hellfire.
 But, after running into you, 
Life doesn't seem so dire.

(First Chorus)
(May-smiling)
You once said to me... 

We make a damned good team,
I'm not afraid,
To take things up a notch.

We'd be so great together!
We could be supreme!

(Blitzo-scoffing)
Oh, yeah? Like what?
Pretzels and butterscotch?
******
(May)
Hey, stranger things have happened...

And nothing's as it seems,
Let's take a chance,
It might not be a botch.

Don't hide away your happiness,
Behind a wall of dreams.

(Blitzo)
It's the thing to do,
When life kicks you in the crotch...

They've always made it known,
And said, "I'll die alone."

(May)
Hey, I don't like that tone...

Not on my watch.

Always on duty for my little cutie,
Who's got a decent booty...

Not on my watch.

(Second Verse)
(May) 
There's nothing wrong with being the best, 
I thought you ought to know.
But no one there to share success, 
Is not the way to go.

A business couldn't rub your neck, 
Or tell you it's all right.
A job can't say "I love you," 
And keep you warm at night.
******
I know you're a little scared of this, 
Don't worry, so am I.
I didn't think a love in Hell, 
Could make me want to fly.

I know we can have something great, 
It's definitely worth the try.
You run from every chance to feel, 
The only question's why?

(Blitzo)
I get it, May. You're kind and more, 
Than just a little caring.
Though I'd hate to see your bad side, 
'Cause that's just a little scary.

You make convincing arguments, 
But it isn't meant to be.
'Cause when you're near, 
It stokes my fears of true intimacy!
******
Just put some space between us, 
Believe me, girl, you should.
My hook-ups've been disasters, 
I'm all kinds of damaged goods.

I'm cynical, an asshole,
I've got fucking on the brain.
I'm a walkin', talkin' train wreck, 
And you're too good to remain.

(May)
Well, if you think you'll scare me off, 
I'm made of sterner stuff.
I refuse to think I'm falling for,
A self-pitying powderpuff.

You're better than you say you are,
Let other lovers huff.
The reason they're not here right now, 
Is they weren't strong enough!

(Final Chorus)
(Blitzo)
You're thinking with your heart...

I'm tellin' you, as a friend,
Just turn your back,
I'm callin' out your bluff.

Your heart-shaped road to bliss,
Just leads to a dead end.

(May-determined)
It might, but I'll be damned,
If I'm giving up!
******
(Blitzo)
We've got nothing in common...

So far, that's guaranteed,
This love affair, 
Could be measured on a watch.

You like to read,
And I like things to bleed.

(May)
Don't sell us short,
If we give it all we've got!

They'll see my gauntlet thrown,
For it's not set in stone.

Fools say, "You'll die alone..."

Not on my watch.

Before I break my word,
I'd rather break my bones.

You'll never be alone...

Not on my watch.

And when you're grey and old, 
It's still your hand I'll hold.

There'll never be a day that I won't say... 

"Not on my watch."

"Not on my watch."

"Not on my watch."

With no more excuses to fall back on, Blitzo sighed an admission or a warning. "I'm not the perfect guy, y'know. I'm hard to get along with sometimes."

"Well, that's hard to believe," she said sarcastically. "True, you can be cynical, thoughtless, greedy, obsessed, overly horny, super-vain, and a textbook asshole. But I have a Ph.D. in child psychology, so I've got an edge."

She looked into his eyes and cupped his cheek as her expression softened. "But, you're also charming, witty, understanding, passionate, brave, thoughtful, funny, and a good friend. And I like that about you. I'm going to be down here for a very long time, and just as you don't want to die alone, I don't want to live alone. I want to trust you and have you in my life. Hopefully, you'll want me in yours. I think we can heal each other and be happy together. So...could we meet halfway?"

"Okay." He smiled at the future for the first time in a long while.

With no more preamble, May reached over and hugged him. The sudden intimacy startled Blitzo before he realized how much he needed this in his life, and softly hugged her back.

"Thank you," May told him, finally standing. "Well, I have to go. Bad guys to stomp and a mystery to solve. Say a prayer for me."

"I'll give Satan a shout," Blitzo assured her. "Good luck, babe."

May paused momentarily, unsure if such a missive to such lower powers was good for her, karmically. But, at the moment, she was as far from God's light as she could be, and even Blitzo's reason for such entreaties was coming from, admittedly, a good place.

Ultimately, she gave an optimistic shrug, smiled, and left the apartment and Blitzo to his thoughts.

Chapter 5

Brine breathed deeply as he looked to the night sky from the garage's roof level to enjoy the cleaner air of this vantage point and mentally center himself for Guardian.

He prided himself on his work ethic. He did his job well. But this one was strange. His target was just some nut who thought she was a hero of the people. Still, for a nut, she did wind up being a handful. She could hold her own in a fight and was tricky when she needed to be. 

He was told by the client that children were her trigger; attack them, and she'd come to him. But this was a trash job for rookies and journeymen new to the profession. He was made for bigger and better prey. Prey that the reputations of his peers were growing fat off of.

As much as his musings worried him, they also bolstered him. For these were the thoughts of a native of Envy; good thoughts that kept one motivated and hungry to succeed at the cost of one's rivals who were always present. The greater the prize, the stronger the jealous desire, and the more worthy the winner. And as his parents always told him, he was a winner.

Concerns alleviated, he looked down again and was given a broad view of the surrounding neighborhood's street lights contrasting against the sky's deep darkness. Parking here was sparse, with only a few cars and vans resting in spaces away from the elevator, so the path toward the waiting assassin up ahead was clear.

Brine glanced at the sound of the elevator's bell announcing his target and turned to face her. To the eel's semi-pleasant surprise, Blitzo stepped out of the car instead.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping it off?" Brine asked. "Even I'd feel bad about whipping your ass again while you're recovering."

"You got lucky. You caught me while I was drinking."

"So, you think fighting me now, with a hang-over, is the height of tactical thinking?" Brine laughed.

"Damn, you know my secret!" Blitzo reached into the holster under his jacket. Still, as fast and experienced as the draw was, the speed of light was a touch faster as a bolt from Brine slammed his charged body into the elevator doors.

"Sh-Shit! Ugh!" Blitzo muttered, trying to collect himself from the ground. "Feels worse when you're sober."

"Ah, Blitz, what am I going to do with you?" Brine asked, strolling towards the downed demon, targeting him with a raised hand. "That's rhetorical, by the way."

A lightning strike from point-blank range punctuated the sentiment.

---

The Sloth Ring had always prided itself on being Hell's premier center and source for medical excellence and pharmaceutical production. As a result, over the years, the other Rings and their Circles benefitted from the convenience of Sloth-branched hospitals and clinics to serve the native Hellborns' needs.

One such facility in Pride was Our Lady of Eternal Sorrows, which served greater Pentagram City, its sprawling, blocks-wide campus advertising its singular importance to the community.

Or rather, to most of the community, Guardian noticed as she drove into the quiet roundabout that faced the main building's entrance. A large a-frame sign by the front doors announced that Sinners were prohibited from receiving its care by the decree that such Demons did not deserve it and that they had their immortality and, admittedly, painful resurrections to rely on.

Leading away from the roundabout was the egress to the towering parking garage near the entrance.

Prudently parking in the lot nearby, she disembarked and warily made her way to the garage's street-level elevator. 

Upon her ascent, every level passed spurred dire thoughts in her. Brine chose the battlefield, so he obviously had some tactical advantage to use on top of having an entire hospital at his secret mercy. Would he even honor his end of the conditions he set? 

She had already failed to find clues to close in on Jack with the death of the last of Dapper's henchmen. What if her death and resurrection cost her so much time that it hindered her investigations, only complicated by Brine discovering that she was a Sinner all along and continuing to stalk her with holy weapons next time?

And what would her and her nascent relationship with Blitzo develop into, in any event?

The doors finally parted, and her mind went blank upon seeing, up ahead, Brine smugly awaiting her, standing next to a beaten, black-eyed Blitzo.

Blitzo noticed her and said weakly, "Hey, you wanna turn this party into a threesome?"

"Blitz, what the hell are you doing here?" Her mind switched tracks, trying to figure out how to free Blitzo while dealing with whatever Brine had planned for her. 

Guardian turned her attention to his captor. Maybe she could get him off-guard. "Do you always get your kicks beating up drunks, Brine?" she taunted.

Brine gave a look of mock surprise. "Don't blame me. I wanted him to sleep it off. How was I to know he's an angry drunk? I had to defend myself."

"Go fuck yourself!" Blitzo growled at him.

"See?"

"Let him go," Guardian demanded. "You wanted me, remember?"

"And I've got you. But, this?" Brine nodded at Blitzo's condition. "I didn't lay a hand on him. Well, maybe this hand."

He stepped from Blitzo to show his hand holding the banded end of the Imp's tail. Blitzo twitched from a sent command and punched his already bruised eye without hesitation.

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" the eel mocked.

Guardian marched over to stop him, but Brine calmly slipped a detonator from his jacket pocket, and she stopped in her tracks, stricken. 

"You're probably wondering why I picked this place. In a word, privacy," he explained. "I wanted to make sure there's nothing between us like pesky electromagnets."

"You don't have to kill anyone tonight."

"Except you, Leviathan willing," he countered. "But first, come over here so I can touch you."

"Sorry, I'm seeing someone."

"Do it," Brine said simply. "Or the maternity ward gets violently renovated."

"Maternity ward?" she gasped with ice in her stomach.

The eel gave a shrug. "You love kids, so I hid the bomb there. What? Too obvious?" He then beckoned her to approach, and she reluctantly did so.

"Stay...there!" Blitzo demanded. His fist connected with his eye again, but Guardian took advantage of the interruption to stop momentarily.

"Geez, Blitz, don't you care about the little babies?" Brine mocked. "You really are an angry drunk."

Grateful that Brine hadn't told her to continue, the vigilante stopped while she tried to think of another tactic. "How do I know you'll keep your word and leave the children alone?"

"You don't," he sighed. "Makes life more interesting, I think. Besides, the true reason why I picked this roof was to walk you off it so it would look like a suicide." Then, an idea took him. "But, since our good friend Blitz is here, I can actually make this fun. Don't move, or the kids go boom."

Blitzo reached under his jacket and revealed his pistol, pointing it at her with gritting teeth.

"I should've thought of this before." Brine smiled cruelly and calmly commanded, "Blitz, kill your girlfriend, and don't fuck it up this time."

Blitzo fired, and in the span of a thought, Guardian's agathion's shield cocooned around her and deflected the shot. 

"Shit, I forgot about that!" Brine hissed in frustration. "Fuck! Eh, whatever."

Guardian quickly shifted the shielding around Blitzo's head, saving him after he fearfully pointed the gun at himself and pulled the trigger. Blitzo fired another round at her as the bubble left him and defended her once more. Blitzo returned the gun to his head, and the bubble reappeared to protect him.

Brine shook his head as he brought Blitzo's gun arm down. "Damn, you're good at this, and your smart enough not to pull that bubble shit on me 'cause it wouldn't stop me from making him blow his head off." 

"Then it's a stalemate," Guardian decided. "Let him go." Once again, Blitzo tensed and pointed the gun at himself. 

Again, the shield was summoned around him, but he didn't fire this time. Instead, the feign allowed Brine's tail to whip forward and fire a bolt into the outmaneuvered Sinner. She crashed against the elevator doors and collapsed into a twitching heap.

"Stalemate broken," the eel announced. "Guess you can only protect one thing at a time with that shield of yours. Good to know." He regarded Blitzo again. "Now, kill her."

"Fuck...you..." Blitzo shuddered, trying to break from Brine's profound control.

"C'mon, Blitz. I even made it so you can't screw up this time," Brine reasoned, gesturing at her. "Stop fighting me and wack her."

Despite her muscles shaking from the raw voltage, Guardian gathered her wits yet didn't move from where she rested. If she evaded, the children would die. 

She closed her eyes and grimly waited, hoping her death would satisfy the maniac and spare the innocent souls who didn't know this could be their last night alive.

For his part, Blitzo hated himself more than he ever did. He hated his weakness, hated his bad luck, but he couldn't stop the muscles in his finger from pulling into the trigger. 

The pistol clicked, spent.

"You gotta be fucking kidding!" Brine spat at the universe. "Well, I'm not out of ammo!" Throwing Blitzo's tail down, he stepped aside and blasted him into the side of a nearby van.

Being too far away to help each other as they slowly rallied themselves, Guardian and Blitzo could only stare, powerless, as Brine prepared to depress the detonator's button. The dire moment, however, was unexpectedly broken by the ringing of Blitzo's hellphone. 

He raised a hand to stop Brine's action and called out, "Hold up, it's for me." Looking down, he answered the device. "Yeah."

"Got it," was the feminine reply.

"Send it."

A portal yawned above Blitzo, and a wired brick of c-4 fell into his waiting grasp, surprising both May and Brine as the portal closed.

"Y'know, toys were a lot cooler when I was growing up," Blitzo mused, holding the explosive this way and that admiringly.

"How the..." Brine screamed. "How the fuck did you get that?" 

Slowly getting up, the Imp explained coolly. "Wasn't easy. Me and Loona got here earlier, and I had her look around while I bought her time, keeping you nice and busy with my phone on. I hoped you'd shoot your mouth off and say where you hid the bomb. Maternity ward, huh? Thanks, shit stain!" 

So taken aback and proud of Blitzo's ingenuity, an incredulously grinning Guardian almost forgot about Brine while the stunned eel demon looked on, mouth agape and impotent.

"Blitz, that was amazing! It's Loona and I, by the way, but I...I can't believe you did that!" she laughed.

"Believe it, babe," he said to her soft-spokenly. "You're not dying alone, on my watch, either. I had to make things right. And since we're both here, let's start doing something fun together."

Guardian gave a knowing glance at Blitzo. "Like kicking ass, maybe?"

"Especially like kicking ass. Care to join me?" he asked gallantly.

May flashed a confident smile at her Imp. "It's a date!"

Chapter 6

Rallying their strength, they both rushed at an ill-at-eased Brine.

Brine brought his brass-knuckled fists up and forced himself not to fulminate. Not one bolt, spark, or even so much as static build-up in the air around that damned bomb would be tolerated, or the only suicide tonight would be his own.

Sinner and Imp surrounded the eel demon, with Guardian starting with a low front kick that Brine managed to bat away before he had to straighten up and block an opportunistic right hook from Blitzo at the last moment.

Eager for payback, Brine reached out with a jab at his face, then reared back as Guardian's lean tail coiled tight around his throat, stopping the attack. Twisting to face her, Brine couldn't step away from Blitzo as he looped his own tail around one of Brine's ankles.

Understanding how they held him, they glanced at each other, counted off silently, and lifted their appendages, suspending him as if he were caught by two snare traps before he was slammed into the asphalt face-first.

Bloody-nosed, Brine rolled from them and scrambled to his feet, ready to frantically block an approaching Guardian's claw swipe with one hand and counter with a gut punch with the other, staggering her.

The counter-attack cost him some reaction time as Blitzo moved in and connected with a jab-hook combo that staggered Brine in turn. Guardian returned with a front kick to the gut that sent him stumbling back into the side of a parked van nearby.

Backed against the van, the eel ducked a haymaker from the Imp, then deflected another front kick from the Sinner.

He countered with a haymaker of his own, more to keep her back than to connect, but she leaned back from it and slapped his head hard with her tail, driving him toward Blitzo, who rocked him with a fierce jab to the face.

Now that they were close enough, Brine gave him a hard front kick to distance them before moving to the returning Guardian, twisting inside her defense at the last second and landing a shuddering elbow strike to her chest, kicking her away afterward. 

Hearing her partner approach from behind for an assist, Brine grabbed the Imp and tossed him over his shoulder and into the roof with a snappy judo throw.

Recovered, Guardian snorted like a bull and stepped in to drive another strong front kick into Brine to punt him away from Blitzo, but this time, he was ready and caught the overshot leg at its farthest extension, trapping her.

He braced and lifted her by it, dumping her to the ground, and then began kicking her in her ribs for good measure.

Seeing Blitzo charge in, he pivoted and slapped his face hard with his broad, finned tail, distracting the Imp enough to move in with a fast combo: a hook, gut punch, and, when Blitzo doubled over, a knee lift that brought him down like a felled tree.

The sound of disturbed gravel and asphalt gave an angry Guardian away. With the Sinner behind him, he cocked his leg up and fired a back kick to intercept her...but it didn't connect or come down afterward.

Learning from her mistake, she caught his leg, jerked him off his remaining foot, and swung him into the ground.

Before he could right himself, the vigilante, already seething from sore ribs and a downed Blitzo, allowed him no time to recover and pounced upon him, her teeth bared.

Ignoring the headache that played behind his eyes and crept along his temples, Blitzo dragged himself to the van's side, using it to help him get to his feet. At the same time, he listened to the grappling and struggling that went on behind him. He had to rally himself quickly if he was to help Guardian.

Leaning against the van, he took a breath to center himself for the continued fight.

And with a yelp, he dodged a straight jab aimed for his already sore face, as a fist...Guardian's fist...smashed a dent into the van's body. He could only stare in wide-eyed shock at the frightening scene before him.

The Guardian Demon, as disheveled as they all were, was posing helplessly in a fighting stance, her exposed tail held smugly by a confident Brine. 

For all intents and purposes, the eel demon was pointing a loaded weapon at the Imp.

"Mind if I take her for a spin?" he asked a distraught Blitzo.  

Chapter 7

"Sorry, Blitz!" Guardian said regretfully.

Brine drove Guardian to Blitzo with a haymaker. 

With his mind now alert and set fully to defense, he ducked the first swing, blocked the second, then blocked a sneaky uppercut, a left hook, and finally, a right hook.

Brine gave a whoop of a laugh. "Whoa, she's got some pick-up, don't she?"

"Shut up!" Guardian yelled as her body went into an unwilling, guarded stance.

"Needs a better muffler, though."

"I-I don't want to hurt you!" Blitzo called out to her.

"Me neither! Try to get to Brine!" she suggested.

The Imp tried to do a sudden end-run past her, but Brine made Guardian and he back off while Blitzo caught up and then tried to jab past one side of her head to hit him. 

Brine maneuvered her face into the punch, however.

"Ow! Blitz!"

"Shit! I'm sorry, May!"

"Blitz!"

"Oh, damn! Sorry again!"

Guiltily, he changed tack and swung around the other half, but the vigilante grabbed the arm, pulled him in, and knee-lifted the wind from him. 

She quickly said as he fell to the ground, "I'm sorry!"

Guardian's puppetted leg suddenly lifted, and a hoof stomped a slight depression into the asphalt where Blitzo was a moment before. 

"May, huh? Well, now I know what you see in her, Blitz!" Brine crowed. "Quick response! Lots of torque! I think I'll keep her!"

Blitzo recovered and stood in time for a high jump kick to whip at his head. He deflected it, but the strength of the blow lifted him back into the side of the van. 

"I'm too strong! Get out of here!" May warned, speed-walking to him with Brine gleefully jogging behind.

The Imp ducked her incoming hook, but she used the momentum of the missed swing to whip around and send a deflected high kick. 

Brine then made the returning leg swing low, connecting with Blitzo's caught off-guard knee, bringing him down on it. 

The Imp twisted away before a front kick could crush his head against the van's body. Her hoof zoomed past and kicked the van hard enough to rock it.

"You kidding?" Blitzo gasped, getting back up for the next attack. "What couple doesn't fight every once in a while?" 

"Then we need a little give and take," she said, tired of Brine's game.

"Whatcha got in mind?"

"I give you a hit...Ah!" She reached out before acknowledging the move and clutched Blitzo's throat, slamming him against the van.

"And you take from my pockets!" she said, praying that he understood before she was forced to rip his throat out.

His hands desperately dove into her jacket pockets and fished for whatever was in them. Fingers found and took out a small, sealed paper bag. Holding the strange item, it felt like something one could throw or smash against something...or someone.

"What's that?" Brine saw the package and raised her hands to snatch it from the Imp.

Blitzo dodged to the side. "What do I do with this?" May looked at him without fear of what was to come.

"Powder my nose," she bade him with a wink. 

With a nod, he understood and moved in.

She pounded his torso with a front kick, but he ignored the pain and caught her by the hoof, pulling himself inside her defense and closing in on her body. 

Before Brine had time to back her away and counter, Blitzo raised the bag and smashed it into her face. Then, he turned his face away as the bag exploded, releasing a cloud of white powder that covered May and Brine's faces. 

For both of them, the effect was immediate. The dust inflamed their skins, causing Brine to let go and tend to his burning face amid a sneezing fit. May, who held her breath and shut her eyes, wildly scratched at her own face and blindly stumbled for Blitzo.

"What the hell is that?" her partner asked, keeping his distance.

"I-Itching and sneeze-ahchoo! Powder! Burns the eyes, too! Hel-Help me wash it off!"

Blitzo looked around and saw a fire hose reel set against the external concrete shaft of the elevator. Unfurling the hose, he turned the nearby knob gradually to release a gentle flow of water from it before dragging it to May.

"Hang on. I gotcha!"

May gave a start as the water splashed into her face but soon relaxed and washed off the powder.

"Thanks," she gasped, blinking her eyes clear. "That was too close. Let's call the cops, and they can deal with him. We've got the bomb, so he can't use it."

"Speaking of which." Blitzo spied the detonator on the ground by the low-walled berm that crowned the rooftop. 

Passing his writhing college buddy, he muttered, "You're lucky, pal. She just wants you locked up. I'd have buried you in cement, myself." 

As soon as he picked up the device, Blitzo was suddenly blasted over the ledge by a point-blank lightning bolt from behind. The detonator flew from his hand and clattered dangerously on the ridge.

"Blitz!" May screamed.

Thankful that Brine's foolhardy cheapshot hadn't caused the disregarded bomb to go off, she sprinted for the barrier. Looking over it and praying not to see him plunging to his death, she saw Blitzo desperately clawing into its stony exterior wall.

Reaching down, she carefully gripped him by the wrists, ready to hoist him back, as a quiet, near-blind Brine stood behind her.

Strolling toward the duo, he saw them not as physical objects in the visual world but as two demon-shaped blobs of bio-electrical energy radiating in the otherwise inert darkness. 

Leaning beside her, he gently pinched one of her ears, sending his pulse into her body.

"Ah! Stop!" she cried out, as surprised and horrified at his returning touch as she was angry that she let her guard down again at the worst possible time. "How can you still see?"

"What can I say? Electroreception's a bitch," Brine whispered in her held ear, tears running from his shut eyes. "You guys just glow in the dark to me. It's really trippy."

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you know what they say. If you love someone, let them go."

Already, her hands began to slack. "No! Blitz...I-I can't hold..."

Looking up, the worried Imp knew there wasn't much hope that she could fight Brine's override. But, a wild option could be seen. "That's okay, babe. He's right. You gotta let me go."

"No!" It was foolish nonsense. She would fight him hard on this, but her hijacked body brooked no further debate, and her hands sprung open.

"Blitz!" she gasped,

At the last second's release, Blitzo caught her hands, reached one hand up, grabbed her wrist, and began hauling himself by her forearms.

"No, you don't!" Brine growled, making May shimmy her shoulders hard to shake him off.

"Sorry, May," Blitzo apologized before reaching up and sinking his claws into her upper arms for bloody purchase.

May yelped into the night as he climbed to her shoulders, her shaking and his weight sinking the talons deeper into her flesh. Soon, he was close enough to her face to see her agony and feel his own painful guilt as he fought for his goal.

With his head rising over one jerking shoulder and level with the ledge, he looked along its length and saw the detonator. With no preamble, he reached out and snatched it.

"No!" Brine yelled, realizing, at last, what he was doing, but it was already too late.

With a quick press, the bomb behind them blossomed into a thunderous fireball that ripped the roof apart. Vehicles that weren't flipped to their sides fell smoking through the chasm made by the detonation into the next lowest level. The elevator's doors were bowed in from the pressure wave and jammed into uselessness.

Although the rimmed ledge of the roof took less damage due to its distance from ground zero, the shock wave took its toll on a screaming May and Brine, who were easily swept off the roof.

Pitched end-over-end and watching the dark sky rotate into the lit grounds of the hospital again and again, Brine free-fell through space. His rushing, oncoming death was heralded by a shriek of fear and a prayer of hatred that they would soon follow him into the black. 

May, however, had slammed against the side of the exterior wall, halted from her drop by Blitzo, who gripped her by her jacket collar like a kitten by the nape.

"A-Are you okay up there?" she managed to ask through her terror.

"Fucking peachy!" Blitzo grunted, trying to find his leverage. "Tryin' get...my leg over the wall!"  

The section of ledge he was still gripped to had crumbled and weakened at the base. With their combined weight, it started to shift, showering concrete dust on Mayberry's head and face.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"Shit, it comin' loose!" 

As terrified as she was, looking out at the nightly horizon of the neighborhood, May couldn't help but weigh the options. Even in this situation, she saw no sense in losing both lives because they were stuck. If one could survive, then it wouldn't be a total loss. 

Ignoring the part of her mind that wondered what she was about to say, she just said it. "We-we're too heavy! You...You have to let go!"

"Fuck that!" Blitzo growled. "Just...hang on!"

"Blitz...it's okay! I'm...immortal!" she reasoned as calmly as her hammering heart would allow. "Loona needs her father. I'll come back! I promise!" 

"I said belay that shi-" The idea shone like a sunrise in his head. "That's it!" 

"Loona!" he yelled into his chest, hoping the phone in the jacket pocket wasn't too banged up from his adventures. "Get to the garage! The portal!"

Just then, the section finally, fatally, gave way.

"Loona, fetch!" he commanded; the last and most ironic thing he would say to her.

Both screamed as their world, inversely, flew up in a blur. They could feel the tug of gravity increase as they fell past one level after another.

It was just too frightening to see, so with eyes closed, awaiting the end, they couldn't see a glowing tunnel open in space below them and chunks of falling debris, swallowing all.

Now opening vertically at ground level, the gateway disgorged the two demons and detritus across the hospital's front lawn. The raw momentum of their terminal fall translated into a rough roll along the turf that didn't stop until they rested several yards away.

Shaken, it took the duo moments to steady their breathing and get their bearings, realizing, before long, that although they were on the ground, they, thankfully, weren't in it. Once satisfied, they went over and began to check each other.

"Are you okay?" May gasped, examining Blitzo.

"Yeah. You?" asked Blitzo, doing the same.

"Yeah. I thought we were goners!"

"Me, too!"

With adrenaline racing through them and still trembling, their bodies could only laugh loudly in the night. Laugh at their good fortune. Laugh at death, who was so close to claiming at least one of them.

A few security guards charged out of the hospital, staring at the smoking garage, while an anonymous Loona approached her father and friend. "If this is what happens when you two are together, dating's gonna kill you."

Blitzo scrambled to his feet and gave his daughter the tightest hug he could. "Loonie! I knew you'd come through, baby! You're all aces!"

On reflex, the Hell Hound stood ramrod straight and endured his doting affection with an annoyed grunt and an eye roll.

"Thank you, Loona!" May said to her as she hugged the other side of her body. Helplessly pinned by their sincere gratitude, a blushing Loona didn't grouse so hard this time.

"Wait, what the hell happened up there?" Loona asked, trying to get her breath.

"I used the bomb," her father explained, letting go. "Blowing Brine off the roof was the only thing I could think of to take him out. And it worked!"

"Your dad's a genius!" May added with a grin.

Now, it was her turn to be hugged by him, but as he wrapped his arms around her, Guardian jumped and winced.

"What's wrong?" he asked, backing off.

"My back," she diagnosed, touching it gingerly. "Something must've hit it when the bomb went off. Next time, I'm saving up for a bulletproof vest."

"Well, now I know what to get you for your birthday," Blitzo quipped. "What's your size?"

Before she could answer, May was struck by a reminder, and she jogged from the father and daughter over to the rubble-strewn curb near the garage entrance. The guards had returned to the lobby briefly to call the police and alert EMTs to the scene, giving her grace to approach unnoticed for a few moments.

Before her lay Brine's broken, lifeless ruin, his damnable body half-buried in masonry. 

Shoving away a chunk from his crushed chest, she opened and desperately ransacked his jacket for any clues he had on him.

Out pulled a wallet, one of his brass knuckles, a pack of condoms, a hotel key, and a torn business card.

Time was fleeting, and the card half held her attention the most. So, she submitted to her intuition, pocketed it, and scampered back to the Imp and Hell Hound before she was discovered.

"Where'd you go?" Blitzo asked.

"I had to go back and look for clues. Brine was nice enough to have something."

"What'd you find?"

"I don't know," she admitted, giving him the card half. There was no writing or a name on its face, just an embossed, red semi-circle from where the card was torn. Etched within its center was a tiny, thin pattern that suggested identification of some sort.

"It looks like a Goetia Seal," Blitzo informed her. "Or what's left of one."

"They have those?"

"Yeah," Loona chimed in. "It's like their tramp stamp or something."

"Is it Stolas'?" May asked.

Blitzo shook his head. "Nah. I've been around him long enough to know what his looks like. But each Goetia's got his own."

"How many are there?"

"Seventy-two."

May gave a tired sigh. This mystery was clearly wearing on her.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Blitzo comforted. "You narrowed it down to seventy-one. Good job."

Loona gave the Sinner a worried frown, then cut to the chase. "Uh, look, I don't want to be the turd in the punchbowl, but if a Goetia's mixed up in all of this, then you must've pissed on some pretty big shoes."

That gave Mayberry pause and caused her gut to twitch. Loona was right, but she took a deep breath and forced herself to see through the anxiety. She was never more grateful for her secret identity than right then. 

"I guess," she gulped. "But, I've got a new lead now. Something that can get me to that damned Jack and the kids." 

"Whatever. Let's get you patched up," Blitzo dismissed, as much to change the subject as to care for her.

Guardian glanced at the hospital. "They won't let me in."

"I know," he said simply. "You're coming home with me." 

Chapter 8

A few weeks prior...

 

Tick...tick...tick...

Pop...pop...pop...

The demon bounty hunter named Bryan Bartholomew Brine sat in the study of the library-themed mansion of Grand Duke Dantalion, waiting patiently while he occasionally glanced at the royal, who quietly sat with his back to him, wreathed in what looked like the glow of a fire blazing the back of the room.

To stave off the applied boredom, he generated low-voltage discharges from his moist fingers in time to the ticking of the clock in the den.

Tick...tick...tick...

Pop...Pop...pop...

"Strange spot for a fireplace," the bounty demon observed. But, it finally had the response he wanted from his employer.

The Goetia turned his padded, swivel chair around to regard him. Amid the turn, Brine could better see the light source that limned and now backlit the royal as he faced him. 

It was a portal that the archdemon had opened to a yard somewhere beyond the mansion grounds. Some attendants stood around the blaze to monitor its growth and prepare to extinguish it in time, while others were hefting small cardboard boxes in the conflagration, feeding and amplifying its size.

"Good episode?" Brine jested.

"Nothing strengthens my sense of purpose like a proper book burning," his host explained. 

"What's on the menu?"

"Oh, the usual suspects," Dantalion said as he watched his elderly butler place and uncover the generous breakfast platter on the desk before him. "The Bible, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Highlights Magazines. Fun with a purpose, indeed. As much as I love books, it is necessary, from time to time, to purge certain ones." He then added airily, "For the children."

In the royal's flourishing hand, a photo appeared and was gently tossed to the hunter.

Brine watched the picture settle in front of him, a recent photo of a fedora-clad female caught by a passer-by's hellphone camera before it was submitted to the press for a pittance of a reward.

"This her?" the hunter asked, casually studying her.
 
After tucking into his meal momentarily, the duke dabbed his thin lips with a linen napkin. "Indeed, Mr. Brine. This...Guardian Demon thinks herself some sort of children's champion. A Don Quixote in Hell, if you will. The local newspaper has taken to following her exploits of late."

A slight concern crossed the Goetia's mind. "I, myself, am at a loss to understand her motives. People have, lose, and replace children every day. It's certainly what keeps me in office. But, suffice it to say, I would like you to hunt her down." 

"And?"

The duke gave a calm, pleasant smile as he continued. "Well, kill the bothersome bitch, not to put too fine a point on it, before she somehow becomes a pain in my ass. It's good to be proactive, you know."

Brine worried for the first time in this meeting. Misunderstanding or miscommunication was as deadly in his line of work, and he'd rather lose the job correcting his would-be client than operate under false action and expectations. 

"I'm a bounty hunter, sir. Not an assassin."

"True, but as I don't know who she is or where she lives, she must be sought out before she's taken out. And as you have the inherent skills to bring that about, well..." Dantalion countered amicably while devouring his eggs. "Besides, I'm confident the bonus I added to your fee will motivate your occupational flexibility." 

Then again, he figured, the client did have a point. "Gotcha."

The Goetia sighed with pursed lips, thinking of his precious time wasted on this fuss. "If she were concerned with the children of her betters, this wouldn't even be an issue. They're actually worth the trouble. But, foolishly, she isn't very selective. She endeavors to help all children, even these inner-city wastrels, which sends their families and those communities a terrible, terrible message."

"And that is?"

"Hope, Mr. Brine," the Goetia said in a blasé manner but with an undercurrent of displeasure. "Hope is a terrible thing...for them. They really don't need it. It distracts them from their obligations and is deleterious to the status quo. But, in any event, interfering with a Goetia and his plans is always a death sentence. That's just a simple fact, and I would like that fact communicated to her."

'For Leviathan's sake,' Brine thought, looking askance. He already regretted deepening the conversation now that it slid into the socio-political. He didn't care if this royal's panties were in a twist; he just wanted to steer talk back to business. "Okay...Do you know anything about her? Any habits or hang-outs?"

"Only that children are her trigger, Mr. Brine. If you want to get to her, go for the children and draw her out."

"Sounds like a plan," Brine nodded.

He stood from his chair and slipped the photo into a jacket pocket. Before he turned to go, he reached over and plucked a business card from the small deck that sat in a tiny, flat box on the desk. 

"For any future business," he explained, walking out.

After the demon departed, Dantalion sipped his chilled fruit juice and returned to watching his bonfire.

However, the image had been supplanted by the interior of a large, poshly decorated office overlooking a city's horizon on Earth. An African-American man in a well-tailored suit stared into the duke's study from his end of the portal. 

He asked, "An associate of yours?"

"Not really," Dantalion sighed. "I just hired him to hunt down a mutual nuisance while I run a few errands in town. If anything, he should make for quite the distraction."

"Would those errands entail tying up loose ends that could help said nuisance?"

"Yes. Finding their employment records wasn't difficult. They should be dealt with long before she could piece together what happened, considering she survives Mr. Brine's attentions."

"Of course," the human nodded in deference. "May your One Plan succeed with glory, Your Grace."

Dantalion raised his juice glass to him. "And may you, Jack Smith, reap all the benefits my new world will bestow."

The image returned to the bonfire, which was now a towering blaze.

"I should put this on video," he considered as he settled back in his chair.

---

Blitzo sat on his sofa, grabbing ice cubes from a bowl on the floor and pouring them into his trusty ice bag. More than once, it had helped him get through many a sore muscle and bruise in his line of work. Now, he was more than okay with applying its magic on May's aches while he waited for her to come out of Loona's bedroom.

"I've got some ice for our boo-boos," he called out to her.

"Okay. I'm coming out."

He was happy enough to invite her over to his place for a change, and thankfully, she wasn't the kind person to put on airs as to how one lived since she, herself, lived modestly enough. It felt bittersweet that on the occasions they visited each others' homes, trouble was usually the reason. Hopefully, this wouldn't be the case anymore, no matter what they did, together or individually.

"Shit!" Blitzo hissed. Some of the ice cubes he was loading had fallen to the floor.

Kneeling to the floor, he scooped up the cubes and dumped them back into the bowl to avoid soaking the rug. So focused was he on his work that he hadn't heard Loona's bedroom door open.

"What happened?" asked May's voice from above him.

Orienting himself to kneel on one knee, Blitzo looked up to see a concerned May clad in her skirt and bra. Blitzo felt sucker-punched.

It was just a bra, he thought. He lost count of the women he had seen with less on them. But, seeing May like this-undone, vulnerable...feminine. For once, he couldn't place a name to the feeling, but if someone like Moxxie was tasked to describe it, he would say that Blitzo was moved.

His awed eyes studied her body, learning something new about every contour of her soft salmon skin. The full curves of her body that her daily outfit concealed, yet hinted, were there: her shoulders, her lean, strong limbs, and a midriff that began to define the lines that came from a physical regiment.

The unassuming schoolteacher seemed to be just one of her guises now. May looked, no, was...dangerous. Compelling. Attractive to his demon blood. A fact that Blitzo was feeling more and more grateful for with every stirred heartbeat.

"Do you always make a mess when you see me?" she asked, her voice giving the subtlest hint of flirtation.

Thoughtlessly, he was still on the floor, holding melting ice cubes in his soaked hands and arms. When he remembered where he was, he gave a sheepish grin.

"They, uh, fell...on the floor," he told her, getting up and sitting on his side of the couch while May gingerly sat on her end. "Are you ready?"

May leaned away from him so that her supple body stretched along her side of the couch with her back exposed to him. "I'm ready, Doctor."

He held the ice bag over her, quick to admire her natural form, but was reminded of his job when he saw the large purple bruise spread across a portion of her lower back.

"Okay. This is gonna tingle," he warned. 

Mayberry yowled, squirmed, and bucked her back at the bag's frigid touch.

Blitzo was used to this; the initial freeze before sucking it up and letting the temperature do its work. He had to help May get through the hump of discomfort, so she could enjoy the remedy.

So, he quickly straddled her, keeping the compress set against her as he bounced like a bull rider, just as Loona came in through the apartment's front door and noticed the commotion.

From her view of the back of the couch, she could only see the profile of her father's head as he bobbed from something underneath. It wasn't until she saw May's head and shoulders rearing up from under him that the picture, at least the one in her mind, began to coalesce.

"Hold still, May! C'mon, you can take it!" Blitzo grunted as he bore his weight down on May.

"Ah!" she gasped. "It's too much! Ow! I thought I was ready!"

"Trust me, I've done this lots of times," he soothed. "You're a big girl. You'll get used to it!"

"Okay. I'm outta here," Loona deadpanned before looking into her hellphone and leaving the impromptu love shack.

Shuddering, May finally exhaled and soon forced herself to relax with the bag on her back. True to Blitzo's word, her body began to acclimate, and she began to sink and settle back onto the couch as he dismounted her and sat by her feet.

"See there?" he cooed. "Trust your ol' Doctor Blitz. Feeling better?"

"Much," she sighed. 

"You never told me what you're working on," Blitzo said conversationally. "Is it some sort of case?"

"Kids have been taken away from their homes for months for some reason," May muttered languidly. "Something coordinated. The kidnappers I tracked were working for a human named Jack. But that's all I knew. I need to find out where on Earth he lives and where he's keeping the children if I'm not too late."

"You make it sound like this Jack guy's a real mover and shaker. He's just a fucking human." Blitzo added quickly, "No offense."

"None taken with this guy," she accepted. "But, I worked the kidnappers' leader over, and he said that Jack paid them to grab the kids. How can a human have access to souls? That's Hell money. It makes no sense unless someone down here was a middleman for Jack. Someone who worked for him or with him on the Hell side of things. Someone with a lot of money."

"Like a Goetia," Blitzo conjectured. "That's why you went through Brine's pockets? To see if he had anything to connect all of this?"

"Yeah, and whoever this Goetia is would know more about Jack than the kidnappers. I need to find him."

Blitzo wanted to challenge her and ask how she could force any archdemon to give up this Jack if and when she found him. But, he made himself see outside this moment. They were enjoying each other's company, soothing ills and aches, bonding after facing death together. The last thing he wanted to do was tear all of that down, no matter how concerned he was.

Still, he couldn't, in good conscience, not tell her how he felt about this. After all, communication was a crucial element in...he had to admit...their budding relationship.

"Look, I know how important this thing is to you," Blitzo began diplomatically. "And I know you can handle yourself, but is it stupid to say that I still worry about you?"

Instead of taking offense, May slowly sat up and looked at Blitzo. He cared, and she smiled softly. He couldn't help but care. What kind of person would he be if he didn't?

"No dumber than me hoping you'll come back safe from a job," she told him. "People care for each other, Blitz. In and out of family."

He looked into her eyes, tired of hiding what he felt anymore. "Well...who says you're not a part of one?"

Her eyes widened, and she felt her heart thump. Then, she noticed that she held her breath. "You...mean that?"

He held her hand. "I do."

She closed her eyes to control her emotions and dam the looming tears. The core of her being flared like a newborn star, like a sunrise she thought long extinguished. 

Opening her eyes again, she felt a hand gently draw her face to his, and their lips touched for the first time. An impossible reality was happening around her...around them. Something both feared would never happen to them again. 

Love.

Giving in to the intimacy, her arms operated on some hungry auto-pilot and coiled around Blitzo, rivaling his embrace for sheer fervor.

A minute or two had passed when they finally parted from the kiss, but it seemed so much longer as they panted from the roller-coaster intensity of it.

"Whoa. What happens now, mister?" May asked, her voice soft and shaken. Things were going to be different after tonight.

"Damned if I know," he admitted with a faint, uncertain smile.

May shook her head and touched his face affectionately. "No, you won't."

In the face of this new world, they tenderly kissed again.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 7 of DamnGood Teacher