Chapter Text
When did I give up?
That question plagued Shuichi Aizawa every waking hour for as long as he could remember, an incessant nagging in the back of his head he couldn't shake no matter how hard he tried.
He should have been able to answer the moment it came to mind, but if he was honest with himself, he couldn't be sure how long ago that had been. How was he supposed to know when, day in and day out, everything was the same? Getting up in the morning and working towards a goal that even a child should have realized was nothing but a fantasy. A dream that had been long since denied.
"The police work to make the world a better place." A lie told to every generation to give them faith in the governing force that would rule their lives and offer trust to those who enforced it. It was a lie many believed when they joined the academy to become the people they were now... that if the police kept going forward, kept going through the motions to bring criminals to justice, that one day there would be no more criminals, and the world could finally have peace.
For anyone with a shred of compassion for the people around them, that was the reason to take on this job. To help those in need and make sure nobody could get away with harming others.
So when did that change? When did he give up on the dream that had inspired him so many years ago?
He could easily recall everything that set him on the path to where he was today, but when had he given up on that innocent dream? At what point had he woken up and realized a better world would never exist? This was his reality, and he could do nothing to change it.
There was one silver lining to it all. There had to be. Even if he could not change the world for the better or prevent any of these horrible things from happening, he could do something to bring justice to the victims and their families after tragedy struck. Sometimes, he could convince himself that was enough. To know he had done something good, to hear the thanks of the people he helped, to know that even after all these years, he was working towards something.
That was why he continued to follow this path, wasn't it? With an envelope under his arm, he walked along the familiar hallway toward the stairwell leading to the chilled office of the forensic pathologist, who should have the results from the latest case he was assigned.
Yes... that was why. So those with nothing else left for them could know there was someone who would be there to help them. Even if he couldn't do much, even if he couldn't change the world the way he had imagined, that had to be enough... right?
Sometimes, that was enough. Sometimes, Aizawa could pretend he was content. Sometimes, he could say they were making the world a better place.
But sometimes wasn't good enough. It meant nothing. The world wasn't getting better. People were forced to hide in their homes at night, wondering if they would be the next victims of senseless tragedies. Nothing helped the people the law went out of its way to condemn, all because of prejudice from those in power who cared for nothing more than that power.
He could convince himself he was happy sometimes, but that didn't change a damn thing. This was the way things were, and he could do nothing to change it.
At least, that was what he thought. But whether it be fate, luck, or something else entirely, all it took was a glance out the office window at the clouded skies, and Aizawa's life changed forever.
He didn't know what he saw at first. Something small and black falling from the sky just outside the NPA's main building. Aizawa rubbed his eyes as he stared back out the window in disbelief. What the hell was that...?
It was probably nothing. Maybe a bird had swooped down to catch its prey, but even as Aizawa tried to shake himself and walk away, something made him pause. What if it wasn't just a bird? What if it was something else?
Aizawa looked between the envelope under his arm and back out the window. He was already on his way downstairs. He would be walking past where the thing landed anyway, so what was the harm in investigating? That was his job, wasn't it?
Taking a left away from the door to the forensic pathologist's office, he found what he was looking for only a few steps outside the emergency exit. There, resting in the dirt surrounded by falling leaves, lay a plain black notebook.
"Huh?" Aizawa looked around in either direction, searching for the notebook's owner. This couldn't be what he had seen. No... it had come down from the sky or the roof. Who would be dropping notebooks off the roof of NPA Headquarters?
Nobody was around in either direction, but there weren't enough leaves on the notebook to give the impression it had been there for a while. Aizawa bent down to pick up the notebook, flipping it over to read the white words on the front. Death Note?
His brow furrowed, briefly considering throwing the notebook away, but curiosity got the better of him even if he wouldn't admit it. At least enough to flip to the first page. Maybe the notebook would have a name in it so he could give it back to its messed-up owner.
"This is a Death God's notebook," he scoffed, but his eyes remained glued to the words he was reading. Weird... the melodramatic declaration sounded befitting of a teenager, but all of the writing was in English... "How to use it... the human whose name is written in this note shall die."
Seriously? Were people still into this kind of crap? Flipping through the pages, there were some names written inside in a plethora of different languages, but none that Aizawa recognized or could identify as this strange notebook's owner.
It would be easy to throw away the notebook and dismiss it as a stupid joke, be it by kids or the young officers attempting to prank one another, but for some reason, Aizawa couldn't shake the strange feeling in his gut there was something more to this. Something was weird about this notebook...
That was why he put the notebook in his bag. The day was almost over, and he would investigate the notebook at home. Maybe he could look at the security cameras to see if anyone had dropped a notebook off the roof. He had to know... what was going on with this notebook?
For the time being, he had to put that to the side. Investigating a strange notebook wasn't his job. Picking it up wasn't out of the way, but he wasn't going to slow the case he was working on for the sake of something so meaningless.
Even so... he couldn't keep the notebook out of his head. His mind kept wandering back towards his bag as the forensic pathologist, Arakawa, explained to him all the recent findings on the case. Nothing that would change the direction the case had already taken, but it was the confirmation he needed to close in on a suspect.
"With you on the investigation, I would have thought there would be something more to find," Arakawa said, "The initial reports of the death were accurate in everything related to forensics. There was nothing abnormal to find..." and it didn't escape Aizawa's notice the way his eyes lowered ever so slightly, only accentuating the beginnings of shadows under his eyes from too many nights without sleep.
Aizawa offered him a reassuring smile, "I figured that would be the case. The evidence points towards this being staged, but not staged in the way of lying about an obvious cause of death. Still, it was worth checking just in case," Arakawa nodded his agreement, giving Aizawa the opportunity to turn his attention away from the report and to one of the mortuary cabinets on the far side of the room. "Have you identified Taro yet?"
Arakawa shook his head.
"The human whose name is written in this note shall die." At least he could rule out one possibility, silly as the thought may be. If the notebook were to be somehow more than a sick joke, that would do nothing to kill a young man nobody had been able to identify since he was discovered dead.
Nobody had been able to inform them about Taro, not even to give him a name beyond the placeholder used for identification purposes inside the department, something Aizawa could tell ate at Arakawa the more time passed without knowing anything about the person stored in the cabinet beyond how he died. To Arakawa, the soul may have been ripped away, but a dead body was still a person worth being respected. For there to be nothing to remember that person by made it far more likely that at the end of the day, others would remember them as nothing but another body. Not another person.
"I checked the databases earlier today to see if there were any missing person cases with his description," Aizawa said. "No matches yet, but if I find anything, you will be the first to know. Once we know who he is, we'll be one step closer to finding out who killed him and bringing them to justice."
It wasn't enough. The promise of learning Taro's identity and giving him the justice he couldn't find while alive wasn't enough. Even if his killer were properly sentenced, nothing would undo the pain Taro was put through. Arresting his killer would not bring Taro back to life.
But... if nothing was going to change that would prevent these wrongs in the first place, that was all he could do. Give Arakawa enough hope for justice that he could smile despite the death he was surrounded with every single day.
As he made his way back up the stairs and down the halls to the office that he and his partner had shared for years, Aizawa's eyes wandered toward the clock on the wall. 17:49.
He picked up the pace, consciously doing what he could to avoid running, even if his heart pounded in his chest as though he had chosen to run a marathon. The remainder of the trip would only take two minutes at most, but even as he made it far past the clock, Aizawa could still hear the ticking.
Ide had busied himself with investigative paperwork and warrants until he heard Aizawa's hurried footsteps coming in through the doorway. He looked up from his work, brows already pressed together in worry as he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong. His question faded as he noticed the time on their own clock.
"Go home, Aizawa."
Aizawa grimaced. This was always the worst time of the day. "Are you sure?"
Ide nodded, gesturing with his head toward Aizawa's desk cluttered with sorted file folders and finished paperwork in a display of organized chaos. "You finished most of our work when you got here this morning," he reminded him. "I don't have much left to do for the day either besides checking the progress on our warrant."
Aizawa sighed in relief, hurrying to put on his dark beige trench coat. "Thank you, Ide." He checked his watch. 17:53. "Arakawa found exactly what we suspected. There was no manner of death hidden behind what was found at the crime scene."
"That doesn't inherently mean anything," Ide said, confirming what Aizawa was thinking. "It only means if the evidence points towards this being a serial murder, the bastard is good at making it look like suicides." Ide checked the clock again. 17:55. "You should get going."
"I know," he hurried to the door, collecting everything in his arms before pausing in the doorway. "If anything happens—"
"I'll call you," Ide assured him, chuckling softly, "Don't worry about me, Aizawa."
Aizawa nodded to himself, replaying those words back in his head until he could convince himself to reach for the door. "Thank you. Thank you," he hesitantly checked his watch. 17:56. "I should get going."
Ide smiled fondly, but it didn't touch his eyes. "Make sure to tell Yumi I said hi."
"I will." Aizawa closed the door behind him in a swift motion as his feet were already hurrying to clock out for the day, unconsciously calculating in his mind the fastest route to the parking lot while taking into account any unexpected foot traffic and people who could try to engage him in conversation. Should he try a different route? No, that was too much of a risk. 17:59.
His worrying was for nothing, however, as he managed to get into his car the same time as always, sitting down and checking his watch. 5... 4... 3... 2...
18:00. Aizawa turned his phone on and checked his messages, searching specifically for any message from Eriko. He had long since given up trying to make sense of how she always knew if he checked his messages before his shift ended. She would think he was a liar about being busy if he so much as checked during his lunch break, and if she thought he was a liar... he absently rubbed his arm just thinking about it.
He should keep his phone on with Eriko in the third trimester of her pregnancy. He knew that and had ruminated over it on more than one occasion. The only thing that stopped him from taking the risk was the comfort that if she had reason to call him about something important, such as the birth of their son, it would be through the front desk to deny him even the chance to stay at work. He would never abandon their family if there was something important, but he knew Eriko's thought process well enough after years of marriage, so he knew what to prepare for. At the very least, that meant there was no reason to change the routine that had brought him security for so many years. Yumi already knew that if she needed anything to call Ide, who would pass any messages to him. She had never been told the reason, but she understood the importance.
Reading through his messages tonight, there was nothing urgent beyond the usual, except for the most recent message from three minutes prior...
Eriko: Yumi and I are going to Ryuzu for dinner. We have leftovers in the fridge.
Aizawa let out a shuddering breath of relief, leaning back in his seat and feeling a familiar tightness in his chest fade away, even if only for a moment. Thank god... Thank god... if he did the math when taking into account driving time, Ryuzu's service, and any other errands, how long would that give him?
Shuichi: Do you need me to run any errands?
Just as he expected, she responded immediately. She always knew.
Eriko: I'll do it myself.
For most people, that should be the end of it. Aizawa knew better.
Shuichi: Are you sure?
Eriko: Yes, I'm sure.
This way, she couldn't reasonably say he didn't offer. She probably would regardless, but now he had a defense. If she wanted to run the errands herself, that was fine by him.
If she was running errands, that estimated two hours to himself might look more like four. If luck was on his side, he could only speak to Eriko long enough to tuck in Yumi for bed. Then, they would go their separate ways.
He put his phone back in his bag, pausing as his hand made contact with the notebook again. It was still there.
Well, now that he had time...
Why was he so curious about this notebook that had to be a prank? He was a grown man with a wife, a child, and another on the way. Was he that desperate for a distraction?
Whatever the reason was, he had to make sure to hide his interest as he arrived home, making sure the way his shoes were placed by the door was as disinterested and orderly as possible with no hurry before going up the stairs into the spare bedroom he called his own. He checked the lock on the door to make sure it was still functional before he headed inside, clicking the lock shut behind him.
He took a deep breath, rattling the door a couple of times to make sure it had latched properly. Once he was satisfied, he went about allowing himself to wind down, his body for the first time in a while not on autopilot as he undressed out of a white button-up one size too big, done on purpose to not agitate the bindings he all too frequently needed to apply to his ribs. But for all the downsides of Eriko being in the third trimester with her growing agitation, so too came some positives that he hadn't needed to bind his ribs in a while. It was nice to shrug off his shirt and replace it with a dusty blue pajama shirt and pants without that all-too-familiar pain.
He looked back to his bag where the notebook remained, then back to his locked door. He was probably going to forget to eat if he got too distracted by the notebook, and the last thing he needed was to add acquiring food to his list of risks in the middle of the night. He should have grabbed something on the way home or eaten something from the breakroom. He could go without eating. He wasn't very hungry anyway. But if he didn't eat the leftovers, that could upset Eriko... unless he argued that he was saving the leftovers to eat tomorrow for lunch, so he didn't need to stop working and find something. Any extra money would be helpful with the baby due in mid-January, and he remembered Yumi mentioning she was interested in taking dance lessons. They could use any extra money for her sake as well.
Now that he thought about it, that was more than practical. That was his argument, and he was sticking with it.
After a final glance out his bedroom window to make sure he was alone, he could finally turn his attention back to his bag, pulling out the notebook that had wormed its way into his thoughts. He took a seat at the wooden desk and turned on the dim lamp, replacing the light of the setting sun with a warm golden glow, and he finally had a chance to read through more of the rules in this notebook.
"This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected."
"If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen."
"If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack."
"After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds."
Aizawa scoffed as he read over the last rule. Didn't that contradict the previous rules? Why was there an extra six minutes all of a sudden? Was it a translation error? "What a joke..." he shut the book louder than he intended, giving him another chance to examine the name etched into the leather. "I have to hand it to whoever made this. They were dedicated. Why was I even interested in this thing?"
It was a joke. Nothing more, nothing less. So why couldn't he shake this growing, sinking feeling? His intuition kept telling him something wasn't right. Was it about the notebook? Or was stress getting to him more than he thought, and the notebook just happened to be there?
He sighed, leaning back in his chair and checking the time. 19:04. He had anywhere from an hour to three hours before Eriko came home, depending on how much homework Yumi had. Yumi was good about finishing her homework as soon as she got home, so that was probably a non-issue unless she wanted to study. He could afford an hour...
Before anything else, he made sure to take the notebook and put it in a locked box at the bottom of his desk cabinet, hidden underneath books and any clutter he could find as a reason to hide the box. There wasn't much inside besides passports and other identification, alongside an envelope of emergency money he had saved in secret. It was a bit strange to keep the notebook in a place like this, but he couldn't bring himself to throw away the notebook until his unease had subsided or he could find its owner. Until then, he had to ensure Eriko couldn't find it and get the wrong idea from its contents.
He double-checked the box was fully locked, then checked again before he was satisfied enough to push in the drawer and his desk chair. He turned toward his bed to lie down, but it manifested more as falling onto the bed and letting his body melt into the soft mattress, moving only enough to drape the old fleece blankets up to his shoulders so only his head was peeking out.
He didn't realize how exhausted he was until he laid down to rest. Despite knowing his manual timer would go off in exactly an hour, he welcomed that warmth to take him away from his thoughts, the burnout, the notebook, the stress, and the fear of what would happen in January... just for a moment, he wanted a break from all of that. A moment where he wasn't a husband or a police officer fighting an uphill battle... he was just Shuichi Aizawa, whatever that would mean.
So he let darkness claim him as the sound of a gentle breeze lulled him to sleep, blissfully unaware that the sinking feeling that plagued his waking life would turn into something he could never have seen coming.
OoOoO
Eriko was out with friends. Aizawa wasn't sure how he had managed to convince her or how he had gotten out of the encounter without any type of argument. She must know as well as he did that she should have some fun while he watched Yumi.
Though Yumi didn't need watching at the moment. Since she finished her homework, she had glued herself to "Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," one of the books Ide gifted her. She loved the books Ide found, tailored to her interests in ways Aizawa admired. Yumi had taken a liking to the work of Robert Louis Stevenson, so that was what Ide gave her.
Yumi wouldn't want to be disturbed until she finished the book, and Aizawa had no intention of getting in the way. He could use that time to wind down himself and see what the evening had in store.
He had only begun going through the motions as he had so many times, but before he could so much as unbutton his suit jacket, he heard an unfamiliar voice coming from his bed.
"So you're the human who found the notebook."
Aizawa's heart skipped a beat. He turned around to face whatever intruder was in his home. What he saw made his blood run cold.
He wasn't sure what he was looking at, a monster that looked almost human but distinctly not, with blueish skin that reminded him acutely of the early stages of livor mortis. As unsettling as the rest of the monster was to look at, what fixated Aizawa the most was large, round yellow eyes glowing in the dark room, bright red pupils staring straight through him.
Aizawa reached for his gun to fend off the intruder, but just before he could pull it from the holster, he stopped. His hand hesitated, hovering over his weapon, but instead of grabbing it, he looked at the strange monster again. Now that he got a second, more careful look at it, the monster was more so ugly than actually terrifying. Kind of like if someone ran over Pennywise, and somehow, leather ended up in the mix. It wasn't attacking like he would have expected of an intruder, and as he looked behind the monster, he noticed his window was still properly latched shut.
Aizawa stared at the monster. The monster stared back.
And Aizawa laughed, running a hand over his eyes to see if that would make the monster disappear from his vision, but as he partially expected, no such thing happened.
The monster blinked upon hearing Aizawa's laughter, its unsettling eyes shining with something, not of malice but of intrigue. "What's got you laughing so hard?"
He had to take a moment to calm himself, but he almost started laughing again as he caught a glimpse of the monster in his peripheral vision, "I always knew it was going to happen one day," he said. His eyes wandered toward the ground, where the only thing he could see of the monster was its feet. "I never thought it would manifest as a clown."
The monster tilted its head curiously, a look of puzzlement crossing its face. "What?"
Right. He should probably figure out what this was before he decided how to proceed. "So am I dead, or have I finally gone around the bend?" Aizawa rubbed his head, his fingers gingerly brushing across his temple, "I didn't think she hit me that hard last night." The monster's continued confusion indicated he should explain himself, so he shrugged, "There's no way you're real. If you were, that means you've been here before I got home but did nothing to my wife or daughter. You haven't attacked me yet, either."
The monster continued with its incredulous staring as though trying to figure out if he was serious. To his credit, Aizawa wasn't entirely sure of anything at the moment, approaching the monster to see if he could physically touch it. He could, but the old leather texture was unpleasant, to say the least, and he pulled back.
The feeling of Aizawa's hand on its chest was the final piece the monster needed to understand the situation, "I see what this is. You don't believe I am real," it looked around before bending down in front of Aizawa's desk. "I guess that means you didn't figure out that isn't just any old notebook."
Aizawa paused. How does it know about the notebook? Oh, right, I'm hallucinating. Of course it knows about the notebook. "What's that got to do with anything?"
The monster looked over its shoulder to better look at him, "I should probably introduce myself. I'm Ryuk, the Shinigami who dropped that notebook. You are not dead, and you're not crazy. I'm real."
Aizawa rubbed the side of his head. This thing was supposed to be a Shinigami? What the hell was going on...? "Let me just make sure I understand. You are a god of death?"
"Yup."
"And you don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way."
"Yup."
Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Is me explaining this actually going to convince you?" Ryuk asked. "If you didn't believe me just showing up, I don't see why telling you would change your mind. But I'm not going to judge. Whatever helps." Aizawa would have expected him to be annoyed by this point, but Ryuk seemed largely entertained by the whole thing, grinning from ear to ear the entire time.
Aizawa shook his head tiredly. "I might have to call Ide to take me to the hospital to get my head looked at... Damnit. This is not the time to start hallucinating Shinigami." He sat down on the bed, waving his hand vaguely. "While you're here, can you just get on with the explanation? What's the deal with the notebook? If I'm not crazy, are you here to take my soul or something?"
"What's that? Some fantasy you humans came up with?" Ryuk chuckled, his eyes glowing more intensely as the room grew darker. "I'm not going to do anything to you."
"Huh?"
Ryuk turned around fully to examine the desk, sticking his hand through the cabinet and pulling out the notebook. He stood up as much as his hunched body would allow and dropped the notebook unceremoniously onto Aizawa's lap. Aizawa flipped the notebook open to make sure the contents were the same. He quickly pushed it to the side to check the locked box himself, opening it only to find... the notebook was gone. But it was on his bed now. He couldn't have gone this crazy this fast, right?
"Do you get it now?" Ryuk asked, waiting for Aizawa to sit back on the bed and pick up the notebook again. "That notebook and all the rules inside it are real. The moment a Death Note lands in the human world, it belongs to the human world. So it's yours now to do anything you want with it."
"Mine?" Aizawa read through the names inside with new eyes. He had thought this was a joke before, but if there was even a chance this was real... "Has this notebook belonged to others before?"
Ryuk shrugged, "I don't know about that one," he said. "I got it off of one of the other Shinigami a while back. But I've heard of Death Notes getting down to the human world a few times before. Or that could be Sidoh's handwriting."
"I see..." he ran his hand down the page. The paper felt thin and old, aged by the test of time. It was unassuming yet... "Even if I'm supposed to believe you exist, do you honestly think I'm going to believe writing a name in a notebook will kill them? That's ridiculous."
Ryuk laughed, "You humans are so interesting. I'll tell you what. How about I prove to you that it's real?"
Aizawa's eyes widened. "Prove it...?" the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. This was nonsense, so why did that laugh and a promise for proof send a chill up his spine. Like an ice cube was pressed into his back.
Ryuk nodded. "You give me any human to kill, no questions asked, and I will kill them. Don't think you can get me to do this again, but if it means showing you I'm real, then I can do it once."
What the hell? This wasn't real. There was no way this could be real. But this did explain the feeling in his gut. Something had to be wrong with him because as much as he loathed to admit it, part of him did want to know if this was real. He might as well humor this, right? This wasn't real. Nothing would come of it.
Playing along, he reached over to the nightstand and picked up his remote, turning on the television in the corner of the room, but while he expected to find only the usual news, what he found instead shook him to his core. He didn't even hear what was being said, but reading the headlines underneath conveyed a sickening reality.
A bank downtown had been in a hostage situation for hours! The criminal wanted cash and a helicopter, or else they would kill a hostage every thirty minutes. But as the text continued, it proved that as time had gone on with the Metropolitan police failing to stop this, the number had shortened to only five.
Why hadn't he been notified about this?! They should let the local police work before the NPA stepped in, but if this had been going on so long, he could do something!
Well... the bastard committing these crimes would probably get the death penalty. There weren't exactly any concerns about true guilt like Aizawa had worried about in other cases. He turned to Ryuk. "You're saying you can kill anyone in any way that is feasibly possible?" Ryuk nodded, and Aizawa stood up, watching the screen intently. "Go in there and kill the culprit in a manner that wouldn't look suspicious."
Ryuk had pulled out his Death Note and a pen, but upon hearing Aizawa's request, he paused. "Wouldn't look suspicious?"
"If he drops dead from a heart attack, that could seem too convenient or even like poisoning," Aizawa explained. Was he overthinking this? This wasn't real anyway, but as much as he hated to admit it, even if he got in his car now and drove down there, it would be too late. "It's unlikely, but it could cause problems for the hostages. Specify the culprit is stabbed. If one of the hostages stabs with a letter opener, that could qualify as unambiguous self-defense."
"Wait, so hostages can kill, but a heart attack could cause problems?" Ryuk asked.
Aizawa gritted his teeth. They didn't have time for this! "Police wondering about poisoning would require having illegal methods beforehand. The investigation into the matter wouldn't go far. Still, I wouldn't want to put the victims through anything more," he practically pushed Ryuk toward the window with growing agitation, "We only have two minutes left. Hurry!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Ryuk practically fell through the wall and took off into the evening, leaving Aizawa alone with his thoughts, watching the television impatiently, biting down on his fist to give himself anything else to focus on. Something had to be wrong with him. He shouldn't hope for the notebook to be real, but if the police were locked at a standstill and innocent people were being killed... there was no other choice.
He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at his door, but he calmed quickly when he recognized the special knock that alerted him to who was on the other side, "Dad?"
Aizawa hurried to put the notebook in his drawer and unlocked the door to let Yumi in. "Hey, Yumi, what is it?"
Yumi smiled, the same perfect smile that on any other day could make even the worst day tolerable, but her happiness subsided when she noticed the stress on her father's face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Aizawa nodded reassuringly, putting on a mask of calm. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it, Yumi." He knew that wouldn't satisfy her, so he offered some of the truth, gesturing toward the television. "I just saw something in the news that worries me."
Yumi peeked her head inside, stiffening when she caught sight of the television. "What...? Those people are going to be okay, right?"
Aizawa turned back, eyes widening when he saw Ryuk on the cameras wandering into the building with a Death Note in hand. Nobody reacted to him or acknowledged him, and Aizawa could only watch him write the name and fly away with retractable feathered wings.
Yumi didn't react to Ryuk, hurrying towards the bed to sit and watch the television intently. Despite parental instincts telling him to stop her from watching, Aizawa knew better than to pull her away. This was how Yumi processed things. She needed to know how everything ended, or her imagination would wander and frighten her. She would be okay if she didn't witness anything graphic and knew how it ended. So he sat beside her, taking notice of the book clutched tightly in her hand.
"You've almost finished your book," he said, gesturing toward the placement of the bookmark inside. "Didn't you start it yesterday?"
Yumi nodded, her eyes twinkling with innocent delight as she held up the book for him to better see the cover. "I can't put it down. Does Ide have any more like it?"
"I'm sure he does." He couldn't stop the fond smile that found its way onto his face, thinking about that office in Ide's apartment he had transformed into his own personal library. Starting as something he built with any money he set aside, the library was now filled wall to wall with anything that caught his eye, especially old literature. "He wanted me to tell you that Dr. Yoneda wrote another terrible book if you want to experience it with him."
Yumi giggled, but she didn't get a chance to answer as both she and Aizawa snapped up toward the television, hearing the voices of reporters growing in intensity. "What's this...? The hostages are coming out! They seem to be all right. And now the police are going in!"
Ryuk phased in through the window, the click of his heels on the wooden floor making Aizawa tense instinctively before willing himself to relax. "Done. He should be dead by now."
Aizawa's breath caught in his throat, eyes wide as he watched the screen intentively. Waiting for those words...
"This just in! The captor inside the bank is dead! It appears he was stabbed by one of the hostages!"
Dead...? Aizawa warily turned his eyes to Ryuk, the Shinigami watching him intently. Waiting for something to happen? Waiting for Aizawa to acknowledge him, to believe his claims as the truth?
No. There was no way this was legitimate. It had to be a coincidence. A perfectly normal reaction to the situation. There was no way this was real...
"Good."
Yumi's voice cut through Aizawa's panicked thoughts, "What?"
She stared at the screen without wavering, holding her book close to her chest, "The hostages are safe, and the culprit is dead. Nobody can be hurt anymore." Yumi looked up at him hopefully, "Right?"
If only... "Uh... yeah, right." He reached for the remote to turn off the television, plunging the room into sudden darkness. "Let's stop watching the television right now." He leaned back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "How about this? Give me about ten minutes to change into more comfortable clothes, and you and I can go out to the library for more books. Okay?"
Yumi perked up, nodding eagerly, "I'll get my jacket!" she hurried out of his room, partially closing the door behind her. Aizawa cracked a small smile, latching the door fully. He sighed, looking back at Ryuk, waiting for what he had to say.
"Do you believe me now?" Ryuk asked, but from the traces of excitement becoming ever-present, he knew as well as Aizawa did what the truth was. There was no question. "The notebook is real, and you are its owner."
This couldn't be real. Aizawa covered his mouth with his hand, trying to calm his breathing. If it was... "What would you do if I don't use it?"
Ryuk shrugged. "Not my problem. You don't want it, give it to another human. When you do, I'll just have to erase all your Death Note memories."
"N-No! That's not what I meant!" Aizawa stammered, taking the Death Note out of the drawer and holding it so tight that part of him worried he would tear the paper. "I'm not using this, and I'm not letting anyone else use it either." He looked up at the Shinigami defiantly, despite knowing Ryuk towered over him even when hunched over. One swipe of those claws or a flick of his wrist could end his life here and now, something he was more than aware of, but he didn't back down.
Ryuk cocked his head to the side, scanning Aizawa's demeanor up and down before letting out a barking cackle. "You're serious about this?" He offered out his clawed hand, "I'm afraid that isn't in the cards. Either you use it or give it back to me to give to someone else. I don't care which, and you won't face any retaliation for your choice, but those are your options."
Aizawa recoiled from that hand so close to him, looking back down at the Death Note he had subconsciously pulled close to his chest. Those couldn't be his only choices... Could he burn the damned thing and be done with it? He hadn't eliminated the possibility this was all some vivid hallucination and coincidence. Maybe if he burned it, he could finally be free of this madness...
But what if he wasn't? What if this was real, and burning the book went against the Shinigami's demands? Even if he was more than prepared to die for the greater good, dying like this... now...
Ryuk grinned as he watched the turmoil unfolding before him. "What's wrong? You having a hard time deciding?" he chuckled, "Don't worry. I'm in no rush. I'm not gonna threaten you with some time limit. You've got 490 days to decide. That's when you'd lose ownership by default, and I'd take it back. That might not be much to me, but it's my understanding that that's a while for you humans."
490 days?! That was more than enough time to figure out what he should do. He had been expecting something closer to a week at most. Aizawa took a breath, the lack of any real time limit calming his nerves. He could figure something out. He had plenty of time.
He put the notebook back in the locked box. "I'm keeping the notebook. I can figure out something to do," he glanced back up at Ryuk as he got to his feet. "Now I just need to know what to do about you."
"I'm sure you've figured this out already, but since you own what was once my notebook, you're the only one who can see me," Ryuk said. "Nobody else can hear me either, of course. The Death Note is the bond between Shuichi the human and Ryuk the Shinigami."
The bond... There had to be some catch to all of this. "There is no price for using or owning this notebook?"
"Well, not exactly," Ryuk said. "But there is the terror and torment that only humans who've used it will experience. And..." his hand moved to the notebook carrier at his hip. "When you die, I'll be the one writing your name down. But don't think that any human who's used the Death Note can go to heaven or hell. That's all."
That sounded like one hell of a price! In some religions, that would be sacrificing his soul if he used it. But he thought over that wording again, and something caught his eye. Even if he was wrong about his hunch, could he get more existential information from the Shinigami? It was at least worth testing. "Does that mean heaven and hell exist, or is that wording specific to those who believe in such a thing, and it doesn't exist?" Aizawa asked, scrutinizing Ryuk's microexpressions for any sign of an answer. "To me, it sounds like a thinly veiled way of saying it doesn't."
Ryuk paused momentarily before cackling harder and with renewed vigor. "You really are something. I thought all humans seriously believed in heaven or hell, but..." he leaned forward slightly, "Yeah, you're absolutely right. There is no heaven or hell. No matter what you do while you're alive, everybody goes to the same place once you die. Death is equal."
So, there truly was no price besides anxiety to use the notebook. That was good to know... even if he could tell that information was going to lead to a crisis later down the line. Aizawa had never been sure what he believed, but there was still something... unsettling in how comforting that knowledge was.
He decided not to think too much about that. He had plenty of questions for Ryuk, but now wasn't the time to bother with any besides one. "Are you here as long as I own the notebook?"
"Yup. I'm here until either the Death Note's finished or you're finished—meaning dead."
Aizawa huffed. He feared that was the case. "Yeah, well, do me a favor and shut your mouth when I'm around other people. Talking to things only I can see and hear is a great way to get thrown in an asylum," he hurried and dug into his closet before Ryuk could give any opinion on the matter. He discarded his suit jacket and replaced it with more comfortable outerwear before rushing out the door, not before double-checking the locked box one final time.
He could keep the Death Note a secret. Wait until something happened that he couldn't normally stop and see if keeping this thing was worth it... He needed to figure something out, but for the time being, maybe he could get by.
OoOoO
Pretending everything was normal should have been easy. He had been doing it for so long that it came as naturally as breathing to brush off anything wrong with a wave of his hand and casual nonchalance. This should have been routine, but everything was more difficult with the breathing of a Shinigami over his shoulder as he worked, investigating every nook and cranny like even the most minute thing was foreign and fascinating. Aizawa tried to ignore every small movement, using his hand to block his vision from everything Ryuk was doing, but it had gone past the point of irritation until he could no longer think about anything else.
He wanted to shout, scream, and make the Shinigami stop reminding him of its existence and the impossible choices he had to make. He couldn't tell if he was on edge or if Ryuk was intentionally pushing him to the end of his rope so he would renounce ownership. He almost had more than once in the eight days since Ryuk had arrived. Just as often, he found himself contemplating using the notebook, just to know if this was real or if he had finally gone insane. He almost preferred the latter option. If he was disconnected from the world around him, at least then he could maybe get his hands on some anti-psychotics to make it go away.
To make his situation more stressful than it already was, people were starting to notice. He knew they were. Strange looks from the younger officers when they thought he wasn't looking. Two of the young ones in particular had taken an interest, Ukita and Matsuda.
He didn't know much about them, though Ukita did what he could since joining to be part of Aizawa's investigations. He should learn more about him... and as for Matsuda, he had heard some rumors. That he had connections that got him into the NPA, and the Superintendent had taken him under his wing, yet he had a gun specific to those on the Special Forces. Aizawa didn't know what of those rumors were truth or lies, and he hadn't bothered to ask.
He looked down at the papers in front of him that he could hardly focus on over Ryuk's shuffling. What were these for again? Oh, right... his notes on statements from families of the victims. He was supposed to be going over them for clues.
A hand on his shoulder made Aizawa jump in his seat, his pen slipping out of his hand and clattering to the floor. He turned to see who was behind him, panicked hazel meeting warm brown, and immediately Aizawa managed to relax. "Superintendent. Is there something you need?"
Soichiro smiled in such a way that had become trademark, welcoming, loving, with just a hint of that trained charm concealing the sadness behind his eyes. "Nothing for you to worry about. I came to see you." He pulled up the extra chair nobody used, or sometimes Aizawa used as a footrest for Ide if he pulled an allnighter and fell asleep at his desk. Less than proper, but who was going to find out? "Ide asked me to talk to you."
Aizawa snapped up from where his eyes had wandered to the chair. "Huh?"
Soichiro nodded, understanding the unspoken questions in his mind. "He said you've been distant lately, and you won't talk to him." He leaned forward just slightly, pressing but knowing not to cross the line in the sand. "Has something happened at home? Your wife is due soon. Has she been more agitated than usual?"
Aizawa grimaced. He never wanted anyone, much less his superior in the police force, to know about that. He could only count his lucky stars that he found the one person who wouldn't judge him. "I..." He gripped his pant legs, looking away from him. What could he say? Nothing could be done about Eriko, so there was no harm in blaming all of this on her. But it didn't feel right... "I don't know."
Soichiro paused, pursing his lips into a thin line. Just as he thought Soichiro was about to turn away, a glint of realization, even recognition, sparked in his eyes. "You don't need to tell me what's wrong, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Slowly, Aizawa nodded, gasping quietly as he was helped to his feet. "Take a break, Aizawa. We'll make some tea, and you should rest."
"Sir, that's not necessary—"
"If you won't prioritize your own health, think about it this way," Soichiro said. He kept a hand on Aizawa's arm to guide him down the hall, but not firm enough to restrain or risk exacerbating any injuries. "You're of no help to anyone if you can barely take care of yourself. Making sure my officers are able to work competently is all part of my job."
The sound of Ryuk's wings as he chased after them made Aizawa flinch, though he managed to hide it enough that it wasn't obvious to the untrained eye. That wasn't enough when he worked around trained eyes, but it was the best he could do for now. 482 more days of this... maybe the rest of his life if he didn't figure out some way to get rid of it without it ending up in someone else's hands.
Soichiro picked up on the small shift in his microexpressions, his eyes never once leaving Aizawa, even if he pretended they did. He didn't say anything directly, and for that, Aizawa was grateful.
"Have you gone to a doctor?" Soichiro's sudden question caught him off guard. He could feel those eyes boring into him, scanning his expressions. Soichiro softened as he found what he was looking for. "I know you hate hospitals, but this has been going on long enough that others are growing worried. Nobody needs to know. I can say I sent you out for something for me, and you can get some help."
A painful lump formed in his throat, straining any sound as he forced a weak chuckle. "Is it that obvious?"
"No. But you opened up more when you thought it was." Instinctively, Aizawa put up his walls again. He couldn't let people get to him like that. Soichiro's somewhat playful smile diminished. "I am serious, though, Aizawa. If you need help..."
"I know where to find it." Aizawa managed a half-hearted smile. He took a deep breath. "Thanks." His brows pressed together as he heard the sound of commotion coming from the breakroom, and any trace of calm disappeared. "Huh? What is...?"
He and Soichiro both hurried into the breakroom urgently, finding multiple of the younger officers crowded around the television in the upper corner, broadcasting the news loudly for them to hear.
"The man who has indiscriminately killed and wounded six people two weeks ago in Shinjuku is still barricaded inside this high school, holding the entire building hostage. The Metropolitan police have determined the man's identity. He is Kurou Otoharada, 42 years old and unemployed."
Soichiro froze in wide-eyed horror, stepping closer to the screen as he frantically searched for the name of the school. Aizawa could perfectly understand why. Soichiro's eldest child, Light, was a senior in high school. Soichiro relaxed when he saw it was not the same school, but that was only slightly. "Are you kidding me?" he clenched his fist, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "They've let him get away and hold buildings hostage twice already, and now this?" He turned to the other officers gathered around him, either ready for his orders or jumping up from their seats. "I want officers down at the scene immediately. This has gone on long enough."
He could hear the others scampering about. Aizawa was about to go with them, but one look from Soichiro told him to wait in the breakroom. In any other situation, being told to wait on the sidelines for his own well-being would be frustrating, but this time...
Aizawa stared up at the screen. Kurou Otoharada, huh...? He recognized that name. Soichiro had arrested him ten years ago, hadn't he? He could be remembering wrong. The man's history was irrelevant. Bastard kept slipping away and causing mayhem, causing fear for weeks. This had to end.
He carefully looked around the breakroom. Nobody was around. There weren't any cameras in here. Just to be safe, he closed the door to the breakroom before digging into his jacket pocket, taking out the page of the Death Note he had been keeping on him. He didn't know why, but he hadn't seen any harm, sitting down at one of the tables as he quickly wrote the name and didn't bother to specify a method of death. He had to know if this was real or a coincidence. A heart attack would explain that well enough...
Ryuk looked over his shoulder curiously, "Surprised that's the first name you picked. Usually, humans choose someone more personal."
It didn't matter. All that mattered was those kids were safe from this lunatic, and maybe Aizawa could find out for certain how much of what he was seeing and hearing was his reality. If he wanted to turn back, it was far too late to do so...
All that was left to do now was wait. Aizawa's heart pounded in his chest as he sat in the empty breakroom, tapping his foot impatiently as he decided to go about making that tea Soichiro mentioned. Anything to keep his hands busy. Anything to stop his mind from wandering...
It wasn't the possibility of having killed that man that bothered him. No... by this point, someone was bound to do it just to keep him down. There was no doubt about his guilt; he had hurt so many people. He was going to be sentenced to death anyway, be it by a judge or by the police trying to prevent him from taking others down with him. He was just doing his job, doing whatever had to be done for the unambiguous killer not to hurt anyone else.
So why were his hands shaking so much that he could barely hold onto his cup? This wasn't the first time he had been left with no choice but to take a life. This time was different, but besides the weapon, what difference was there? This wasn't about the possibility of the murder itself... this was about what would come next.
After a long few minutes to gather his thoughts, he finally dared to tune in to everything on the television. He wasn't sure if what he heard was a relief or if it was his worst nightmare.
"The police are emphasizing that they did not shoot him. The Superintendent of the NPA, Soichiro Yagami, has made a statement that Otoharada was dead before officers even arrived. The hostages are saying that he suddenly collapsed."
A heart attack.
Aizawa took the tea the moment it finished and brought it back to his office, where Ide was nowhere to be found. He must be talking to more people about the victims in their case. He wasn't sure if Ide's absence was a relief or if he needed his partner more than ever, but he decided to take that time to collect himself as he sat down in his seat, staring vacantly at the ground.
The Death Note is real. I killed someone and caused the death of another. He looked down at his shaking hands. He couldn't breathe. What do I do...? Get rid of that evil thing, but how...?
Soichiro. Soichiro would know what to do about this. He hadn't done anything wrong; he just used the tools at his disposal to handle dangerous people. That left him with a Shinigami on his shoulder and a notebook he couldn't destroy but needed to get rid of.
Soichiro would think of something to do. So why did the thought of explaining to him everything that had happened make him feel so ill? Explain that stupid curiosity that put him in this situation. Imagining the possible shame in his eyes if he didn't explain this right...
Aizawa rested his head in his hands. Why was that his priority? He had a notebook that could kill with only a name and a face, and either he used it or someone else would. That was a way bigger deal!
Or... was it?
He paused, slowly sitting up and looking down at his hands, then back at the page stuffed back into his pocket before turning on the television in the corner of the office he and Ide used for background noise or insight into developments in their cases that reporters got their hands on before the police. Otoharada's death was already a widespread discussion, far more so than the other death eight days ago. That was why he wanted to avoid using heart attacks. But as he watched, something occurred to him.
He didn't need to do any type of protocol to bring that bastard to justice. He didn't need to answer to anyone... nobody could be blamed for his actions besides himself. He didn't have any restraints.
He didn't need to enforce a flawed system with unfair restrictions. He had the power to bring justice without answering to anyone. He knew that wasn't a good thing. A weight had lifted off his shoulders, but he knew that wasn't for the best. Unchecked power wasn't something anyone could have...
But that did mean he could save those the system wouldn't let him save. People like him with nowhere else to turn... he had the power to do something about that.
Ryuk noticed the shift in Aizawa's demeanor, his eyes alight with excitement and curiosity. "Whatcha thinking about?" he asked, "Come on, I'm not a mind reader. I wanna know what's going on in your head."
Aizawa kept watching the screen. "You said I could use the notebook for anything." He glanced over his shoulder to Ryuk, "Is that right? No restrictions?"
"That's right, no restrictions," Ryuk said, "My only rules are being provided with apples and entertainment. And I'd prefer it if you talked to me more. I understand when you thought you were having some psychotic break, but I am very much real, and I have social needs, too."
"If I were to... change some things over time, nobody would stop me?"
Ryuk nodded. "Nobody would stop you. Well, not on my end, anyway. I suppose other humans might try to stop you, but I'm not sure I can help with that."
He wouldn't expect Ryuk to. Aizawa couldn't believe he was thinking about this. He had to be going insane for him to be actually considering this... Peace built on fear was nothing but a lie. He knew that better than anyone. Why was he considering this? He wasn't special. He had no right to hold sway over others.
But it was possible, wasn't it? Being able to help others that wouldn't otherwise be helped? He could do everything he wanted to in his life... maybe he wouldn't change the world, but at least make it better for those in need.
He would need time to think about this. It was one thing to fantasize about doing something, but having the power to do something was beyond his wildest dreams. If he were going to act on this, it wouldn't be easy. He wouldn't be able to continue without catching the attention of someone. He would need to make himself known, which ran the risk of L becoming involved. Not much was known about the elusive detective, but one thing was certain... he primarily worked cases that interested him. Someone with the power to kill from a distance with a goal in mind would certainly catch his eye.
Aizawa nodded to himself as his stress began to ebb away. He did have a goal. He was considering this for a reason. He wasn't sure if he could do this, or even if he should... but it was a chance. One he would never get again. He had to at least consider his options.
Before he did anything... he had to understand what he was getting into.
Chapter Text
Aizawa's hand was on the off button of his alarm before the ear-piercing sound had even begun resonating through the bedroom outside of a single beep. He had done it so many times it came as second nature to stop the alarm before it could wake anyone else. Even on the days when an exhausted fog had completely taken over his mind, autopilot had long since adjusted.
He strained through blurred vision to see the red numbers on the clock shining in the otherwise dark room. 5:10. His brows furrowed and a frustrated groan slipped past his lips. The world outside was still pitch black through the window, and he could feel the winter chill intermixed with sleep-deprived exhaustion seeping into his bones despite the warm safety of his bed.
He could probably spare himself a few more minutes of sleep if he truly wanted to, to convince himself he had gotten more sleep than he had. But he had no time to humor that thought before the only other source of light was in front of his face, that being the glowing eyes of a Shinigami.
"Morning."
Aizawa groaned again, rolling onto his stomach and stuffing his face in his pillow, hoping to force himself back to sleep and away from what he knew was coming. He should have gotten used to Ryuk after close to two weeks of his continued presence, but it never got easier. Waking up, he had time to convince himself this was all a dream or to forget about it entirely, but every day, he could feel Ryuk perched at the foot of his bed and was reminded of the Shinigami's eagerness for him to wake up and entertain him some more.
Ryuk nudged him to prevent him from going back to sleep. "You can't ignore me forever," he said. "I heard that alarm go off as well as you did, meaning it's time for you to wake up. You said you would tell me in the morning what you were doing last night because you didn't want that wife of yours to know you were awake. Well, it's morning, and I don't feel like waiting any longer."
Right... He did promise Ryuk he would do that. He would have gotten it over with last night to save himself the trouble, but he had heard Eriko's footsteps in the night, and the last thing he needed was for her to hear him talking to someone. Aizawa heaved a sigh, rolling onto his back and willing his tired body to sit up and rub the sleep from his eyes. For better or worse, his mind wasn't as hazy as it should be, and he could tell he had fallen into the inexplicable time frame between getting three and five hours of sleep where he was more energized than if he had gotten a reasonable amount.
He reached over to turn on the lamp, hissing as the warm light blinded him. His hand flew over his eyes, giving him time to adjust to the sudden change before he blinked away any last chance of getting a decent amount of sleep. Or maybe he was deluding himself. How could he rest remembering what he had done?
He opened his eyes, staring across the room to the Death Note lying open on his desk. He would have locked it in the box where it belonged, but he had left it out to remind himself of what he had been doing. Part of him hoped that when he woke up, the notebook and the Shinigami would disappear like they had never existed, and he could go back to a normal life where none of this had happened. Once enough time had passed, maybe he could become adjusted to this as he had everything else in his life. He had only been using it for four days, after all. Maybe he just needed time...
"Yeah. Give me a moment..." Aizawa pulled the blankets back and tried to adjust to the icy cold as fast as possible while forcing himself to stand. He made sure to regain a sense of balance before stepping into the en suite bathroom, the one place he didn't need to worry about Ryuk.
He stayed there in silence for a long moment that could have been a few seconds or minutes for all he cared, leaning against the marble countertop and staring absently down at the sink. He would need to assess the mounting damage of sleepless nights and take measures to conceal it as he had for years and now more than ever, but he didn't want to look at that yet. Seeing the reflection of his shaking hands in the mirror was more than he was prepared for as it was.
He turned around quickly and cranked on the hot water as far as it would go, discarding his clothing and stepping inside to feel the burning water against his sore muscles, instantly melting away the last of the morning cold. He immediately regretted not grabbing his clothing for work before stepping into the shower, but it was too late to change anything. He had more important things to worry about—
Murderer.
Aizawa's eyes shot open at the sudden pain in his chest, sending him staggering back enough that he almost lost his balance. The water still burned as he tried to catch his breath, and all of a sudden, the water didn't feel like water anymore. He tried to breathe, tried to make a sound, staring at water that wasn't water yet distinctly was, but any air that left his lungs came out as short breaths blocked by something he couldn't identify yet choking him out all the same.
He set his jaw, looking again at the rest of the shower with grim determination, forcing himself to finish and ignore the pounding in his chest. If he stepped out of the shower so fast that he almost slipped again once he was done, nobody had to know. He snatched the bathrobe off its hanger and tugged it around himself, letting his body slide down the wall and sit on the floor until he could catch his breath.
"Damnit..." He didn't even know what he was damning. Was it his situation, or was it himself for taking that situation and turning it into this? He made his decision days ago, yet this kept happening no matter how many ways he tried to justify or explain it to himself. No matter how many times he tried, the question of if he had a right to do this kept playing in his head. No... he didn't have the right to do this, no matter what his reasons may be, but he was still doing it. He would have to get used to that.
He tried to pull himself away from those thoughts. He had to get ready for the day and pretend everything was normal. Just a normal day. Only it wasn't a normal day. If he was right, there would never be a normal day again.
Regardless, now was as good a time to finally see what he had to do to pretend everything was normal. He pulled himself off the floor and finally dared to look in the mirror, meeting the eyes of a reflection he knew was his but at the same time could barely recognize.
He had grown used to the shadows under his eyes, but they had worsened in the days since Ryuk arrived. Thanks to his bathrobe, none of his bruises were visible, but he didn't want to imagine what he looked like underneath. He should be grateful that he only had to use the concealer for one thing.
He opened the drawer and dug into the back where the small container of concealer had remained hidden and applied some under his eyes, grimacing as the shade no longer quite matched. His skin had lost some of its healthy coloring. He would be able to pass for today, but he would need to purchase more the next time he ran errands, or he would risk being caught.
That was one benefit of having Ryuk around. His uncaring honesty meant that when Aizawa finally stepped out of the bathroom, Ryuk's immediate reaction would be the honest one. If he hadn't done it correctly or the shading was different to the point of being less convincing than going without, Ryuk would say something. He respected that about Ryuk. He said what he meant, none of that backward double-meaning nonsense he had gotten too used to.
Ryuk cocked his head to the side as Aizawa finally stepped out of the bathroom. "Didn't shave today?"
So that was Ryuk's priority. He could work with that. Aizawa gently touched his cheek to check. Only a small amount of stubble was fine. "I don't really care enough. It's not urgent," he reached toward his wardrobe for his clothing, but his hand stopped, glancing back to the desk where the Death Note remained. He picked it up, his breath catching in his throat as he registered his own handwriting. Not a dream. This was reality. The work he had done over the weekend. He killed three people. Not even just killing them... he used them as experiments.
"Jiro Sekiguchi dies by suicide on December 15th at 2:18."
"Shou Muranaka initially refuses food but, upon cooperation, dies by choking on December 15th at 7:41."
"Keiichi Shoda is attacked and beaten to death. Any attempt at resuscitation fails, and he dies from his injuries on December 15th at 3:42."
Ryuk noticed the dwindling color drain from Aizawa's face, peeking over his shoulder to read the names himself. "I've been trying to make sense of it all night. A suicide, choking, and someone getting beaten to death. Didn't you say you needed to draw attention to yourself if you wanted to make those changes? None of this looks like it would draw any attention."
"I wasn't trying to draw any attention. Not yet," Aizawa read over the names again, names he knew he would never forget. He had searched through the databases for the worst, most reprehensible criminals he could find that he could confirm the deaths of today. A serial killer, a murderer who dismembered their victim after torturing them, and a child kidnapper with vile intentions. A suicide, an accident, and a murder. All common prison occurrences.
"What's the point of this then?" Ryuk asked, "Are you experimenting?"
That word made his stomach churn. "You could say that. If I'm going to draw attention to myself, I would use heart attacks. Doing that while focusing specifically on white-collar crime and corruption is going to attract the attention of L fast," he flipped away from the pages he had written on and to the front with the rules written inside. "I'm not going to delude myself into thinking having this notebook makes me smarter than him, so I need to use every rule to my advantage. For that, I need to figure out how this notebook works in a way that won't attract any attention," he closed the notebook, sighing as he read over the letters as he had countless times before. "Then again, it's just as likely to be swept under the rug and hidden before the public can figure anything out. I might not attract too much attention outside of the top circles if the media goes out of its way to hide this."
Ryuk nodded thoughtfully, watching Aizawa's back as he went about hiding the Death Note. "Usually, humans just go straight in on the killing and figure out the details later. But you, Shuichi? You're trying to figure out what to do before making yourself known. I don't know if that's a reflection of you or how much you fear this L guy. Who is he, anyway?"
"Nobody knows. That's part of the problem." Aizawa set the Death Note at the bottom of the box and locked it tight. "He's been working in law enforcement as long as I have, but even those in the higher ranks of the NPA don't know anything about him," he pushed himself to his feet, "He takes cases in his own right, but governments usually call him in as a last resort for high-profile cases if damages reach a certain point."
Ryuk's eyes lit up, finally comprehending what Aizawa had been planning. "So you targetting people in power would have worldwide governments calling on L immediately?"
Aizawa shrugged halfheartedly. "More or less." He was used to explaining his thoughts aloud to ensure those working with or under him understood what he was asking. But there was something different about this that he wasn't used to with anyone besides Ide. Another thing he would have to adjust to. He stepped past Ryuk and back toward his wardrobe. "Turn around. I need to get dressed."
Ryuk grumbled as he reluctantly complied, taking the time to look through the curtains at the world outside. The sun hadn't risen and wouldn't for a while more, but the sky was beginning to change. "I'll never understand why you insist on having me turn around. Do you really think I care what you look like?"
Aizawa rolled his eyes, looking over his shoulder as he buttoned up his shirt. "No. Even if you did, I wouldn't care. But that doesn't make you watching me any less uncomfortable."
"Then why do you insist on hiding those shadows under your eyes if you don't care?" Ryuk asked, "Or is that one of those human things I don't understand?"
"One of those human things," Aizawa muttered, "It's unprofessional to look like death warmed up if it can be avoided. That, and the questions from people asking about the problem take more time to handle than hiding the problem in the first place." He pulled his pants on and dug into his wardrobe for his usual beige trench coat to pull it on. He would normally wait until closer to the New Year, but he could feel the cold from the closed window and lingering exhaustion that hadn't shaken away biting at him. He was about to tie the belt around his waist, then stopped himself.
If I do that now, I will seem too eager to leave...
Ryuk heard Aizawa's movements slowly stop and took that as an indicator he could turn around. His brows furrowed, seeing his human's eyes glaze over, flying into the air and flipping upside-down in Aizawa's face to startle him out of his thoughts. "So when are you going to start putting your plan into action for real?" he asked, "Don't get me wrong, I'm having a good time as it is, but you're so worried about this L guy that I really want him to show up."
Aizawa nudged Ryuk's face away from his, standing up as he had ended up sitting on his bed. If he did that, he would fall back asleep. He couldn't risk that. "If everything goes according to plan today, we'll be getting started tonight."
Ryuk chuckled, "That's why you're so on edge."
Yeah... that's why... Aizawa grabbed his work bag and reached his hand toward his bedroom door. Locked, like it had always been... Painful knots churned in his stomach the closer his hand got to the door, closer to turning the handle and facing the world outside.
It would be easier to go back to bed. Stay here and not face the world. He could even jump out his window and skip what was to come. Maybe Ryuk would help him do that...?
No. If his decisions only impacted him, he would consider any chance he had to run away. He would have run away a long time ago. That much he knew for certain. But his decisions did impact someone else. He was a father. He needed to go downstairs for her sake.
He forced himself through the door before he could convince himself otherwise, quickly yet quietly latching the door shut. He checked the handle until it latched fully, taking a deep breath before cautiously glancing toward Eriko's room at the end of the hall. The door was open. Shit.
He gripped tight onto the railing of the stairs, taking each step carefully but fast enough that should someone hear his footsteps, they wouldn't notice the dread making his chest seize. He took another breath, then put on a smile as the foyer came into view, and moments later, the kitchen, where Eriko was making breakfast and Yumi was writing down notes from her math textbook.
Aizawa saw Eriko's shift in body language, but she didn't say anything. Aizawa tensed. She was waiting to see if he took the initiative.
"Good morning," he stepped closer to the kitchen, away from the door and away from his shoes. "You're both up earlier than I expected. What's the occasion?"
Eriko turned away from the stove and shot him a look, but her ire disappeared as soon as it had appeared. She beamed, offering a plate of food she set on the table, urging him to sit. "Oh, Yumi's friend, Kamiko, agreed to tutor her in math this morning before the big test. Yumi wanted to be at school early to meet her."
Aizawa calculated how much of his food he could eat without needing to avoid speaking. If I'm too quiet, she'll think I'm ignoring her. If I don't eat, she'll be insulted... He feigned thinking as he took a few bites of the eggs. "Kamiko... She's the girl I took home after she and Yumi studied together a few weeks ago, right?"
Yumi nodded, "Mhm! She's really smart, and she's a lot better than me in math," she didn't look up from her notes as she continued jotting them down, "It's okay. I'm better at reading English than she is. We trade."
Eriko hummed as she chose a seat next to Aizawa, adjusting the way she sat and smoothing out her dress. "Remember to eat your breakfast, Yumi. You won't be able to focus if you're hungry," Aizawa's breath hitched as she nudged him with her elbow. "Shuichi, do you have any advice for Yumi before her big test? You always did so well in school."
Aizawa chuckled, "Do you really want me to give her advice about what I did in school?" he turned away from Eriko's face. His heart was starting to pound, so he focused entirely on Yumi to keep the smile on his face. "What I did was grab a bottle of whatever energy drink was available and drink it immediately before a test. They helped me focus."
Yumi brightened, her eyes alight and leaning toward him, "I should try that!"
"No, you shouldn't," Eriko interjected. She heaved a long-suffering sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I meant study methods. I was up late last night with her, trying everything I could think of, and nothing worked."
Yumi's shoulders slumped, keeping her head low and trying to finish her breakfast as quietly as possible. Aizawa had to grip tight on his pant legs to stop himself from saying something that would only make the situation worse. His smile became much more strained. "How about I take care of Yumi today?" he offered, "Whenever she studies with Kamiko, that usually means going to her house after school to celebrate passing her test. That means I can pick her up from Kamiko's house, and you can have the day to yourself. If you were up late, you should get some rest."
He worried she would pick up on his sudden familiarity with Kamiko when, moments ago, he supposedly had to think about who she was. Thankfully, if Eriko noticed anything, she decided against commenting on it, instead smiling sweetly. "You would do that for me?"
"Of course."
Eriko leaned over to kiss him, her hand moving up to his hair. But as soon as her hand came to rest on the back of his head, she stopped, pouting somewhat. She kept her face close to his and her voice low. "I miss your hair. Why did you have to cut it?"
Because Ryuk saw Eriko's tendency to touch his hair and decided to try it out himself. He was shutting that down before it drove him insane. "Remember how often Yumi grabbed my hair when she was a baby?" he chuckled as he looked at Yumi, taking this as an excuse to pull away. "Your grip strength was insane. I figured I would get that out of the way to save myself before the baby arrived."
Eriko pulled away, refusing to meet his eyes, "I suppose you have a point. Still, you couldn't have talked to me first?"
Why was this so upsetting to her? Was it really that big of a deal? "Sorry, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing," he knew where this conversation was heading. He needed to get Yumi out of the room as quickly as possible. "Yumi, are you packing lunch, or are you having lunch at school?"
"I'm having lunch at school," Yumi jumped up from the table as soon as her plate was empty, "All done! I'm going to grab my bag!" She hurried up the stairs, leaving Aizawa and Eriko alone. Alone save for the Shinigami only one of them could see.
Eriko's shoulders remained slumped as she picked at her food. Aizawa's breath hitched, but he knew he had to ask despite his better judgment. "What's wrong?"
"Are you going to be gone all day today?" Eriko asked, "Again?"
Aizawa grimaced. He always had to work overtime during his cases, especially once they reached the final stages. Though it was liberating, this conversation was always his worst nightmare. If he pressed forward with his plan, this conversation could become more frequent and so much worse. "The case is coming to a close. We need to do everything we can to arrest this guy and make sure it sticks."
"But..." she trailed off, sighing and bitterly shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. Have fun at work."
"Thank you," he took the chance to get up from the table. "I'll see you tonight?"
Eriko's lips pursed. Aizawa knew he had made a mistake.
Before Eriko could turn to him as she had so many times before, he was saved by Yumi gleefully taking the steps two at a time, running to him with her bag in her hands.
"I'm ready to go, Dad!"
Aizawa quickly pulled as far away from the table as he could, rinsing his empty plate and making a beeline for the door. "Great," he gestured toward the coat closet while slipping on his shoes, "Don't forget your jacket. It's cold outside."
Yumi ran over to the coat closet by the front door and pulled out her navy blue jacket, slipping it on and making sure it matched her skirt. "Ready to go?"
Aizawa softened as he watched her, tying the belt of his jacket and offering out his hand for her to take as they headed out the door with their bags in hand. "Ready," he waved goodbye to Eriko, "See you tonight," and shut the door behind him. He counted to three before his cheerful facade faded into something more softly serious, "Mom tried to help you with math last night?"
Yumi's smile had long since fallen, pulling her hand away from him and gripping her skirt. She nodded slowly. "I didn't want to be sad because she would get mad again," she whispered, "I don't think I'm ready for the test, Dad. What if Kamiko can't help me? What if I fail?"
"Hey," he bent down to her level in the driveway, setting down his bag and resting his hands on her shoulders. "You won't fail. I know you won't. Even if you do, that just means you try again. Everyone has things they struggle with the first time," he looked down at the time on his watch. 6:30. The sun still hadn't fully risen. "What time do you have to meet Kamiko?"
Yumi kept her head down. "7:15."
Aizawa smiled, and this time, it was genuine. "That gives us plenty of time. How about we stop for an energy drink like I did when I was in school, and I'll quiz you for your test? What topic are you studying?"
Yumi loosened her grip on her skirt. Her quivering bottom lip slowed until she managed to calm down. "We're using prefixes to determine polygons."
"Huh?" Ryuk asked, "Poly-what now?"
Aizawa couldn't help but agree with Ryuk on this one. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to remember what any of those words meant. "I'm sure I can help you." He should be glad he could remember. So many years had passed since he did anything related to school math that he hadn't been sure he could help. He shuddered to imagine what it would be like once Yumi began learning algebra.
I might be dead before I can help.
Yumi dove at him and hugged him tightly, "Thanks, Dad." Aizawa relaxed as he felt her embrace, both to feel his child in his arms and to hide the anguish that crossed his face.
He returned the embrace in full. "Come on, we don't want to be late. There are a few other tricks I used in school. Let's see if any of those help you remember."
As he had partially expected the moment Eriko said she wasn't sure how to help, Yumi learned similarly to how Aizawa had at her age. A mix of random knowledge accumulated from spur-of-the-moment interests or by being able to associate the unknown with more familiar terms. He should have been happy, especially when he saw her sipping some Alinamin V visibly change her alertness. She was only allowed to have half of the small bottle on account of how young she was, but there was no denying the impact it had.
Any parent should be at least somewhat happy to see their child turning out like them, yet... Aizawa couldn't help but feel his intuition creeping in the way it had so many times when something was about to go horribly wrong. What if she became too much like him for Eriko's liking...?
He shook away his thoughts. He wouldn't have to worry about that. Yumi would never suffer the way he did. Eriko wouldn't do that to her, but even the slim possibility of that happening strengthened his resolve. He wasn't doing this only for himself. If he succeeded in his plan, Yumi would never need to worry.
He dropped Yumi off at school a few minutes later, waiting until he saw her meeting up with Kamiko before he was willing to leave. He checked the rearview mirror as Ryuk took the chance to climb into the backseat. He barely managed to squeeze himself inside, yet he still insisted on doing this.
"Why do you always have me flying around and checking things for you?" Ryuk grumbled, leaning forward and resting his head on the passenger seat. "I'm a Shinigami. Making sure little girls get to school safely isn't what I'm supposed to be doing."
"And what are you supposed to be doing?" Aizawa asked, "Eating apples on my bed and dropping your notebooks into the human world?"
Ryuk shrugged halfheartedly, "You could say that."
Aizawa frowned. Ryuk had never been particularly forthcoming when talking about the world he came from besides the unbearable boredom. In any other situation, Aizawa may have dismissed his vague answers altogether. Yet there was something behind Ryuk's unsettling eyes that told him there was something else at play. Some other reason Ryuk loathed discussing the Shinigami Realm. What could it be?
He didn't have much time to consider that, though, as he made it to his designated parking space at the NPA building only a few minutes later. One of the benefits of being out so early was that he could avoid most of the rush hour traffic. He checked his watch. 7:29. He would be at work at 7:30 on the dot.
He hurried inside, pulling his jacket tighter around himself to save himself from the cold and waving to Taniguchi at the front desk. "Good morning!"
Taniguchi's tired demeanor subsided as he recognized Aizawa's voice, "Aizawa! You're here earlier than usual. Does that mean your case is almost finished?"
"Yeah," Aizawa picked up the pen and went about signing in for the day. "We're hoping to have everything over and done with by the end of the week," he looked up to survey Taniguchi's face. "How is wedding preparation going? You and your fiancé are getting married in June?"
Taniguchi nodded, "Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck. "If I'm honest, I try to help, but Hitomi is much better at it than I am."
"She's an event coordinator, right?"
"That's right," Taniguchi said. "So I shouldn't be too surprised."
He could hear the nervousness still present in Taniguchi's voice. "Don't worry too much about it," Aizawa assured him, "If you're with the right person, everything should find a way to work out." He set the pen down, hoping nobody would notice the sudden waver on the final letter.
Taniguchi didn't notice as he typed into the computer. "You're all set. Ide hasn't arrived yet, but I'll let him know to meet you in your office?"
Aizawa smiled fondly. "Thanks." Ide never was much of a morning person. How many times had he arrived early and found Ide asleep at his desk or so lost in a morning haze he may as well have been?
But the memories of his best friend and partner were not met with the same warmth as whenever Ide came to mind before. He hadn't been a murderer the last time he saw Ide... Was he supposed to go on and pretend nothing had changed? How could he face him, knowing that a day may come when they would be put against one another?
He took the stairs instead of the elevator, giving him time to put his thoughts together as the sudden cold seeped into his bones and into his mind. Even walking up the stairs didn't feel the same anymore. What had days ago been his safe haven was suffocating with a feeling he didn't belong. How could he belong anymore?
As he reached his floor, Aizawa's hand rested on the doorknob for a moment. He took a deep breath, soothing his nerves and finding his courage. He did belong here. His methods were... unconventional, but he was using the tools at his disposal to bring justice and improve the lives of his coworkers and innocent civilians. One day, they would understand. He had to keep telling himself that.
He stepped through the door.
The hallways of the criminal affairs bureau were predictably silent during the early morning hours when most would be trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep before dragging themselves from bed. Nobody was required to be here for another hour and a half, which gave Aizawa plenty of time to step into the breakroom and brew himself a cup of coffee to distract from those thoughts occupying his mind. Black today. He wouldn't mind if there was some milk or sugar, but he had reached the point where if his drink was caffeinated, he would drink it, no questions asked. Putting any extra effort in sounded exhausting if he didn't have to.
He contemplated returning to his office and waiting for Ide to arrive so they could continue working on the finishing touches of their case. However, even if he wanted to willfully forget why he couldn't, doing so was impossible. So he sat at a small table in the far corner, sipping the bitter liquid as Ryuk took the opportunity to steal an apple from the fruit bowl.
After a while, remaining sat with nothing but his own thoughts and a Shinigami for company was bringing back the fatigue he should have been feeling since he woke up. His body took that as an okay that it was time to rest, even as he grabbed a second cup of coffee and then a third.
He heard the voices of the younger officers coming in after what he estimated to be half an hour. Aizawa absently looked up from his coffee and found Ukita and Matsuda to be two of them, chatting about the latest television drama they had watched last night, or at least that was what it sounded like from across the room. He wouldn't normally pay too much attention to what they were saying to one another, but today was different. He had to listen.
He checked his watch. 8:10. He didn't need to wait long for confirmation...
He heard the elated cheering from down the hall before anything else could be said. Hirano came practically dancing into the breakroom, displaying more energy and joy than anyone going on forty should, but he may have turned back the clock by a decade with his eager movements toward the coffee machine, pouring in more milk and sugar than he ever took normally.
Aizawa raised an eyebrow, "What's got you so happy?"
Hirano turned fully around, his surprise matching that of the younger officers who hadn't noticed Aizawa sitting silently in the corner until now, "Do you remember the case I worked on three years ago with Keiichi Shoda?"
Of course he remembered. "The child kidnapper who was meant to be getting out this year?" Hirano had been stressed over that for weeks as the end of Shoda's sentence drew closer.
Hirano chuckled, taking a drink of what had become a caffeinated milkshake. "The only place he's going is straight to hell. I received an email from the prison that he was beaten to death by his cellmates last night," he swirled the drink in his hand, "Serves him right."
There it was. The first confirmation. He hadn't been sure if causing death by homicide was possible outside of specific circumstances, but for his purposes, it seemed entirely possible he could resort to that. He wouldn't be able to control who committed the murder, but as long as someone willing could have access, he should have nothing to worry about.
Ukita's brows furrowed in mounting concern. "Aren't you a bit too excited to see someone dead?"
Hirano's eyes narrowed into slits. "If you dedicated years of your life to busting someone who kidnapped and raped a child, and they were getting out after four years, you would know exactly how I feel. People like that are better off dead or rotting for life," he didn't let the concern of the younger officers spoil his good mood, heading out of the breakroom and calling behind him. "I'll be going out for celebratory drinks tonight if anyone wants to go with me."
Aizawa managed a small smile as he watched Hirano leave. He knew all too well how it felt to work so hard to punish someone for reprehensible crimes, only for the courts to give them a short sentence. Hirano had been haunted by that case ever since the sentence was handed down. He had logical reasons to choose this case as his experiment, as Hirano had asked for any and all updates on the prison sentence and would be the first to know if the bastard died. Yet there was no denying a strong factor in choosing this case was the relief it would bring Hirano to know Shoda would never be able to harm another child.
This was something he wanted to fix in the world. Such short sentences for kidnapping were horrifying, and for what reason? People willing to do that, especially to children, were dangerous to society. He may not have the right to go against the court system, but they didn't have the right to allow crimes like that to go so minimally punished if punished at all.
I can do something good with this. I'm not a monster...
He didn't realize he had spaced out, staring at his coffee until Ukita approached him with a broad grin. "Not used to seeing you in here. What's the occasion?"
"I just needed to take a moment before reviewing all the evidence on my case again," Aizawa said absently. "It's easy to make mistakes if you stare at something too long." Why was it so easy to lie? Had he always been able to lie naturally? He was probably thinking too much about it.
"That makes sense," Ukita adjusted his stance to maintain his center of balance while leaning his hands against the table. "Your case is investigating a possible serial murder disguised as suicides, right?"
"That's right..." At first, the local police had considered the case open and shut. A woman's suicide and her distraught boyfriend. It was horrible… but it wasn't something that got the local police's attention, let alone the serial murder investigations of the NPA, until it happened a second time. The same boyfriend, the same cause of death, two different women with no history of suicide ideation. This boyfriend had no history of domestic disputes either, not that having no recorded history of disputes meant anything to Aizawa. Too many things didn't line up with the story being told, even if it could have been a coincidence. The concern, paired with wondering if something was yet to be uncovered, was why Superintendent Yagami allowed Aizawa and Ide to work on the case to assemble the missing links.
So far, it seemed like the missing pieces were leaning towards the boyfriend either killing them or being in some way involved. There was too much evidence for there to be any other explanation. Why was that always what it was? Aizawa's hand wandered toward his forearm. Why would anyone choose to do that to the person they were supposed to love?
Aizawa got up and made himself another cup of coffee, then pulled another mug out of the cabinet to make a cup for Ide. Milk and two sugars... "I've had a break for long enough. We should have our case finalized in the next few days," he waved goodbye to Ukita, "Wish me luck."
As he approached his office, he heard Ryuk's wings flapping behind him, "You didn't ask for any details about the other deaths. Don't you want to see how much you can control people?" Aizawa frowned as he pondered the question. The only reason he felt no anger was that Ryuk's inquiries never seemed malicious. As demented as his questions often were, they were always asked with genuine curiosity and an eagerness to learn the answer, regardless of what it may be.
He kept his voice low to be sure nobody could overhear, "You should use that to entertain yourself," Aizawa said. "Search around the office for gossip, and let me know if you hear anything worthwhile. Who knows? Maybe you'll find some spare apples."
Ryuk immediately took off back to where they had come from. Aizawa relaxed as he pushed open the door to his and Ide's office, finding, as he expected, Ide staring at the wall in a partial daze.
"You don't need to come in so early," Aizawa reached for Ide's hand to wrap around the mug, giving him some warmth. He offered him a tired smile as Ide slowly brought the mug to his lips.
"Thank you," Ide stared down at his coffee for a long moment, waiting to regain some of his energy before he glanced toward Aizawa with an inspecting eye that bore into Aizawa's being. "You're using that makeup again."
Aizawa grimaced, shrugging awkwardly. "I haven't been sleeping well. You know how it is," he checked his reflection in the mirror attached to the far wall. "Is it too obvious?" He didn't want to think about the questions that could come his way if it was.
"No," Ide assured him, smiling just slightly, "I just know you too well."
There was something else Ide wanted to say, maintaining through the mirror a prolonged period of eye contact, testing the waters to see how much information Aizawa would be willing to give. He only relented once he was sure he would get nothing, clicking his mouse so his computer would wake up, making them both wince at the brightness in the otherwise relatively dim office.
"We've gathered as much evidence as we can from a distance about this guy," Ide said, and Aizawa welcomed the change in topic. "I finished reviewing the message history, but I'm not satisfied with that until I see this guy for myself," he looked back toward Aizawa, "He is a regular at an izakaya downtown. It shouldn't be too difficult to go down there and get a sense of what we're dealing with."
Aizawa stepped back over to Ide's desk, pulling over his chair, "Are you sure that's safe?" he asked worriedly, "If the evidence is correct, he's killed two people. If he finds out that the police are onto him—"
Ide's small smile warmed significantly. "Don't worry. He's only met you, not me. You know I will be careful," he shrugged as he opened a tab on his computer. "It was just a thought. We have more than enough evidence to make the arrest. Interacting with him to assess his behavior outside the police would be more to make a stronger case."
"If you think that is the right thing to do, I trust you," Aizawa said. "If approaching him feels like too great of a risk, we can more heavily question those around him once we have him in custody."
"That's exactly what I was thinking," Ide clicked the mouse to open his inbox, blinking as he read over what he found. "The warrant was approved a few hours ago. If we abandon the idea of investigating undercover to get any data firsthand, we would be able to make the arrest today and begin interrogations tonight," his hand slowed, hesitating before sending an email of his own, "Are you okay staying late tonight? If you need to be back..."
"I already took care of it. Yumi is going to be at Kamiko's house after school, and I agreed to pick her up late," he leaned forward eagerly, "Depending on how her test goes, she might even spend the night with Kamiko to celebrate. I'm safe to stay late tonight. Let's finish this."
As soon as he said that, Ryuk phased through the door, grinning from ear to ear as he walked over to Aizawa. "That didn't take long. I had to fly around outside the NPA to find what you're looking for, but that suicide and choking death were mentioned in the news," he placed himself between Aizawa and Ide. "I got a few more details from listening in on Hirano, and that Shoda guy died exactly as you wrote."
Aizawa's heart seized, hearing that news and the confirmation of what he had been anticipating and partially dreading. If everything had gone as he wrote, that was the last experiment he needed... there was nothing else he needed to know yet.
It was time to start for real.
Chapter Text
Soichiro pressed his hand firmly over his eyes, trying to stave off the migraine that had been building over the last couple of hours. The enraged shouting of men in righteous anger and petrifying terror for their own lives echoed loudly through the Interpol building, blaming one another for the horror of what had happened in a back-and-forth that Soichiro had long since stopped trying to find any logic in.
He shouldn't have expected logic to be found in a situation that seemingly lacked any semblances of reality. In only four days, fifty politicians and high-ranking businessmen worldwide had inexplicably dropped from cardiac arrest, and nobody was able to provide a satisfactory answer to why. From that standpoint, Soichiro could understand the frustration and terror of not having any answers. The majority of people in this room could reasonably become targets if they had accurately determined the types of people who fell victim to this. Maybe Soichiro was the one who had an abnormal reaction to all of this.
Nevertheless, what would arguing and debating the ethics of murder solve? Contemplating contrasting views of the situation and philosophical dilemmas would not bring anyone any answers. There was only one thing that could be done at this point.
"I think we have no choice. This is another one for L."
Soichiro's firm announcement briefly silenced the shouting and allowed him a moment to think, interrupted by Matsuda whispering softly to him. "L? Who's that, Chief?"
Soichiro managed a small smile, his features softening as he turned and saw the confusion and hope for guidance in Matsuda's eyes. Matsuda was new to the investigative side of police work, and despite his bright-eyed eagerness, he had a lot to learn. He shouldn't be surprised Matsuda didn't know. "Oh, that's right. This is your first Interpol meeting."
He would usually bring Aizawa to these meetings. Neither found them particularly enjoyable, but Aizawa was able to tolerate them more than most of his peers, and it was an excuse for Soichiro to give him a temporary reprieve from his home life...
But Aizawa hadn't been doing well lately. He couldn't tell anymore if he was being paranoid or if that young man he had known for so many years was deteriorating before his eyes. Aizawa needed the sleep tonight, and Soichiro could only pray he wasn't making a terrible mistake.
He shook himself out of his thoughts. He shouldn't leave Matsuda without an explanation. That wouldn't be fair to him. "Nobody knows L's real name, whereabouts, or even what he looks like... But he can solve any case, no matter what it is," he said, "I suppose you could call him a sleuth... No—Well, anyway, nobody knows who he is, but he has solved countless unsolved cases so far. You might say he's our trump card, our ace in the hole... something like that." How exactly could he describe L? Since Soichiro had become the Superintendent, their encounters with one another were few and far between, always with a computer separating them. Even with that reference to go off of, he wasn't sure there were any words that could accurately describe L.
That wasn't stopping someone in the back of the room from attempting, "But they say L only gets involved with cases that interest him," Soichiro glanced behind him to see who was speaking. He couldn't find the man's name in the dimly illuminated room, but he recognized the Romanian flag on the nameplate in front of him, "If not, forget it."
"That's right," someone else agreed, "And anyway, we have no way of contacting him."
"L is already involved." Soichiro straightened as a strong voice alerted everyone to his presence. As Soichiro had partially expected, Watari stood before the arrays of officials, donned in his usual dark trench coat. His voice never wavered or showed any emotion at all, confirming what Soichiro had suspected: "L has been investigating this case for some days now.
Some things never changed, and it seemed Watari was one of those things. "Watari..."
Matsuda's brows furrowed, leaning closer to Soichiro. "Huh? Watari? There's another Japanese man here?"
"He isn't with us," Soichiro quietly explained, "Watari is the only person who can contact L, but nobody knows who he really is, either." Something he had wondered about on numerous occasions, pondering how such a thing could be possible. For someone to have so many resources, there had to be someone who knew. But in the end, that was none of Soichiro's business, and despite his curiosity, he knew better than to pry.
"Silence, please," Watari requested, but his tone proved that was an order. "You will now hear L speak." He pulled a laptop out of a pocket inside his trench coat, setting it neatly on the table in front of him.
The computer flickered to life with the signature gothic emblem of the letter L that had become associated with the detective. The voice from the computer was distorted yet polite and straight to the point, "Good evening. This is L. The case before us is unprecedented in scope and difficulty... and is a monstrous crime of mass murder that must be stopped at all costs. In order to solve it, I request the full cooperation of police worldwide, in particular the Japanese police."
Matsuda's eyes widened in shock, almost jumping up from his seat if he had not consciously stopped himself. "What?!"
Soichiro could hardly suppress his own reaction. "But... why Japan?"
"Whether this is being carried out by a group or by an individual, it's highly probable that they're Japanese," L said simply. "And if not Japanese, they are in Japan."
That was barely an answer! Soichiro knew L was unmatched in his profession, but... "But how...?"
"How can..." Matsuda slowly shook his head in matched disbelief, "On what evidence?!"
"Why Japan...?" L hesitated before deciding how to phrase his next course of action, "I assure you that I will provide a more detailed explanation in time, but I'm afraid I can't do so just yet. Before anything else, I need to test something."
OoOoO
Matsuda beamed as he looked around the room and at his surrounding peers, "Then, out of nowhere, Watari appeared, and it turns out L has been on the case for days already. He wants to perform some sort of test today with the help of the NPA."
Aizawa really hoped Soichiro had given Matsuda permission to tell the entire break room about the events of the Interpol meeting. Matsuda was sitting at one of the tables with everyone curiously gathered around him, though Aizawa knew not to be surprised. He had only been using the notebook publicly for a few days, and already, this case had captured the entire world's attention. He couldn't go anywhere without hearing about it.
As the culprit in this case, he couldn't help but be relieved for Matusda running his mouth. He had been anticipating Soichiro bringing him to the Interpol meeting like before, but he had been told that he didn't need to worry about it and should get some rest.
That was a roadblock he still needed to find a way around. Soichiro had become too familiar with his patterns, so while he may never assume Aizawa was a murderer, the growing stress could make having access to this case difficult. He could hide his strain from the world, but those who knew him best had too much experience to ever be fooled.
And now, he had a bigger problem on his hands. L was investigating the case and had narrowed it down to Japan within only a few days? What mistake had he made to give that impression? Sure, he was more predominately aware of targets who happened to be Japanese, but he did what he could to research politicians worldwide and write names without discrimination. Had he been too careful with America and their politicians who didn't shut up? He thought that would be too easy, but he supposed it was too late now if L already suspected Japan. If he changed whatever he had been doing that gave L that impression, L would figure out he was among the police.
There was also the growing concern that while he planned to change and slow his MO, he needed to test to ensure his plan was actually working. If he wiped out everyone all at once, the resulting power vacuum would have them replaced by someone the same, if not worse, and the cycle could take years to improve. If he gradually took out politicians and businessmen over time, that would give him a frame of reference for what was possible. He had only gone as extreme as he had in the opening days to establish what he was doing. If he made things seem gradual in the beginning, that would give L more time to figure everything out.
He needed to know what L knew. He did not destroy himself for this to be how it ended. He did not do horrible things and kill so many people only to be discovered in under a week. He was going to see this through to the end.
Aizawa heard the sound of familiar footsteps and straightened to listen to what Soichiro had to say before he had so much as walked into the break room. He was carrying a large stack of files, examining how many officers had gathered around to listen to Matsuda's accounts of the Interpol meeting. "I figured this would be a faster way to find everyone interested in this case. I'm glad to see everything going according to plan." He set the folders down on the single empty table, "As you have likely heard, L requested the full cooperation of the NPA to solve this case, and we will need all the help we can get. I don't expect you to drop your current cases to be reassigned to this one, but once you are done, you will all be assigned to this case until further notice."
That worked. Aizawa was the first to get up from the table. He could feel Ide's eyes pressing into his back as he took the file from Soichiro and hurried out of the break room after him while everyone else began searching for their tasks, "Where do you need us to be?"
Soichiro hesitated, slowing his walk and taking a moment to look Aizawa up and down, searching for something. That ever-present sadness shone in his eyes, his lips parted with the intention of saying something, but he hesitated before doing so. "I want you and Ide to familiarize yourselves with the case this morning," he turned around to ensure Ide had followed them, which he had. Soichiro's shoulders relaxed, looking down toward the ground just ahead of them as he walked a bit faster, and they followed after him, "We will perform L's test once the work and school days end. L wants to ensure as many people as possible, barring the police, are in their homes for his test."
"Huh?" What are you planning, L? "A test? Does he plan to make some sort of television announcement?" That's the only thing I can think of. There's no other explanation. Everyone, barring the police... "Will this be before...?"
Soichiro kept his eyes down. He glanced up only to make direct eye contact with Ide behind him, but for a petrifying moment, Aizawa thought he was staring directly at Ryuk. "Ide, would you mind calling Eriko and informing her Aizawa will be home late tonight? His unfair boss is requesting he stay late, even after finishing the last case to perfection."
"You're saying that like I didn't do it already," Ide said. He nudged Aizawa playfully, that all-knowing smile manifesting as something close to a smirk. "You've been interested in this case since the news broke out. Why else would you go into the breakroom the morning after an Interpol meeting?"
Aizawa shrugged, "The coffee is better than the stuff in our office machine?" He sighed and feigned relenting, forcing himself to relax. "Alright, you've got me." Am I being too obvious? No... I'm overthinking this. I have every reason to go into the breakroom. "How could I not be curious? Besides, I'm usually the one getting hounded with questions, but not this time."
Soichiro smiled, "I figured you would need the rest." Aizawa bit the inside of his cheek, hearing the relief apparent in his voice.
What am I supposed to say? Aizawa wondered worriedly. He was doing me a favor, but I can't exactly come out and say, "No, I laid awake all night contemplating the ethics of being a serial killer."
"Yeah, I was able to get to bed early," Aizawa reached out to grab Soichiro's wrist, stopping him while he was walking, "But listen, Superintendent, you don't need to change your plans to account for me. If you need someone to go with you to those meetings, I—"
"Don't worry, Aizawa," Soichiro assured him. "I've told you before that it's my job to make sure my officers are looked out for. You needed the rest, so I used the opportunity to give Matsuda some lessons. He's a good kid. He reminds me a bit of you at that age," he shrugged and leaned to look past Aizawa and at Ide, "Ide, I assumed you had about as much interest in an Interpol meeting as you would watching paint dry?"
"You're not giving paint enough credit," Ide muttered absently, all of his attention captured by the file he was flipping through, "ARVC-5...? That shouldn't be possible. I could be wrong, but isn't that disease considered hereditary?"
Soichiro stuffed his hands in his pockets, fidgeting with something while pretending not to. "A lot of things in this case seem impossible. Those were the results from only one of the many victims, and the only thing multiple forensic pathologists agreed had the capacity to kill in a manner that lines up with our culprit," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I have another meeting with the higher-ups concerning reassignments. Do what you can to prepare for this investigation. I will see you both this evening."
He headed off with a faster pace, leaving Aizawa and Ide relatively alone in the hallway, empty save for their coworkers hurrying to their offices before work hours officially began. Ryuk's laughter echoed in the silence as he loomed over Ide's unknowing shoulder. "Humans have become so much more advanced than I ever could have imagined."
ARVC-5... Aizawa shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. He had never thought much of the specifics of how the Death Note brought on cardiac arrest. Maybe he was too afraid to let himself think about it. Ide was right that shouldn't be possible... then again, none of this should have been possible. What made that specific detail any different than the power to control someone's action and bend the laws of nature itself to bring death to someone? The forensic pathologists could be wrong in their theories of how this was happening, and that wouldn't change the fact something was causing these people to die... He was causing these people to die.
"Aizawa?"
Aizawa sharply inhaled, looking around wildly until his eyes finally met Ide's worried ones, "Sorry. I must have spaced out for a second. You were saying?" He suddenly realized his hand was over his throat, forcing it back down and into a forced relaxed position. He tried not to think of the tightening in his chest that bordered on stabbing, but once he took in the unsettling sight of Ryuk looming over Ide, that pain only intensified. He wasn't sure he could breathe.
Ide's lips pursed into a thin line, contemplating for just a moment if he should speak. Whatever he had been considering died in his throat as he looked back down at the file, carefully running his fingertip along the page as he read the words. "Nothing."
Why am I doing this? All of this... Committing these murders, lying to people, lying to his best friend... This is horrible. This is unforgivable. I want all of this to end. Why can't I stop?
Why couldn't this stop? Nobody was forcing him to continue doing this besides himself. Why couldn't he just end this madness? There was nothing to convict anyone, and there never would be. He would be in no danger if he stopped, and nobody else would be either. The only person who could destroy him was Eriko, and that was barely related to the—
Oh god, Eriko...! He had replayed that all-too-real possibility in his mind on repeat. Nothing had managed to sink in as real while at the same time being the threat he had known of since the beginning. Being assigned to this case was ideal, but he would be running the risk that his being gone would anger Eriko. If that day came when she got it in her head he was having an affair or hiding something and decided to 'investigate' his room, he would have no way of knowing until it was too late. If she found the locked box, she could easily find the Death Note...
Aizawa reached for Ide's bicep, his hand against the fabric of Ide's green suit serving to ground him. He gently guided Ide back to their office as his eyes remained glued to the pages he was flipping through with increased fascination. Finally, something felt normal...
Ide managed to sit down at his desk and turn on the lamp, basking his desk and the office in a warm glow. His hand absently fumbled for the coffee machine while not looking, eventually finding it before Aizawa had to intervene. Aizawa softened, taking the briefest moment to stare before reality set back in.
Ryuk also stared intently at Ide, bending down next to Aizawa in an attempt to see what Aizawa was seeing, "I really don't understand why you're looking at him like that. He's just doing the same thing he's been doing the entire time I've been here." He nudged Aizawa, urging him to turn on his computer, "Come on, you told me that looking up public perception on your use of the Death Note would be interesting."
Fine, fine... Aizawa clicked his mouse a few times to bring his computer to life. He winced at the brightness, but he adjusted quickly and put in the password he remembered largely in muscle memory.
He knew what he had to search for. He had been anticipating doing this since he began using the notebook, but he had waited to guarantee his reactions were genuine. Aizawa typed the murders into the search engine and was immediately greeted by multiple websites. He clicked the first one, his brows furrowing as he read the white text.
"The Legend of Kira the Savior... Ide, come take a look at this," he subtly gestured for Ryuk to come over as well, only to find Ryuk already eagerly staring over his shoulder.
Ide finally looked up from the documents, sliding his chair beside Aizawa's to read the main page of the website. His eyes reflected the screen, making them seem darker than the white color Aizawa had grown used to, brilliantly reflecting the colors of the world around him. "Lord Kira is a messenger from Hell who will not suffer the presence of evil in this world. Beware: You may only enter this site if you believe in Lord Kira's resurrection," Ide scoffed, turning toward Aizawa, leaning his elbows against the desk. "Is Kira what people are calling the culprit?"
"Looks like it." Aizawa clicked back and typed Kira into the search engine, finding hundreds of results in seconds, "That's what people all over the world have begun calling him," he sighed, resting his forehead in his hand. He forced a chuckle, "If they're going on and on about this 'messenger from Hell' or 'fallen angel' nonsense, you would think they'd choose a better name than something that obviously comes from 'killer.'"
Kira... so that's what the world is calling me. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. He didn't like it, but a name for himself had been the furthest thing from his mind, so he couldn't bring himself to care much. They were right with their title, weren't they? He was a killer. Behind all of the other nonsense trying to explain his existence with a Hell that didn't exist, that was the objective truth of the matter. There was no use pretending he was something else.
He decided to read through the websites and their contents. How many people had actually figured out what he was doing...? Not many from what he could tell, but he had only been doing this for a few days. It would take a long time for the police and the public alike to deduce that he wasn't targeting these people indiscriminately. He only targeted those involved in deep-seated corruption. But that specification still took up a sizeable amount of the demographic, so he didn't expect that realization to be common knowledge.
"It's interesting..."
Ide's voice cut through Aizawa's thoughts, "What is?"
Ide held out the files he had been reading, passing them to Aizawa, "For people like us who get all of this information firsthand, sometimes it's easy to forget the disconnect between reality and what the media portrays," he returned to his own desk, pulling up more articles on his computer, turning the screen for Aizawa to see, "Media reports still just refer to this as 'the series of mysterious deaths among politicians and businessmen,' but these websites prove that people are able to figure out there's something else at play," he gestured vaguely at the websites Aizawa was reading through, "Online theories are ridiculous attempts at creating a new religion, but people talk. You know they do. I've heard countless rumors that the police or the governments are involved with this, and it's all some conspiracy to eliminate those who went against a global underground agenda."
Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "Didn't take you as the type to listen to conspiracy theories."
"Yeah, well, it's hard to avoid," Ide leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and staring at the useless media reports. "This case is going to be difficult."
He wasn't talking about the fantastical elements that went beyond logical explanation. Aizawa knew him too well to consider that for a second. "Yeah. We already have trouble getting anything from difficult civilians," he glanced back at the websites and the artwork depicting a heavenly being. "Nobody except naive kids would say it out loud, but the internet is going to show humanity's true colors now more than ever. People will maintain a facade in public, but this is what they really think, and that means that the longer this goes on, the less likely anyone will be willing to give the police information."
Ryuk's grin only became more intense. "Are you talking to me, or are you talking to him?"
A fair question he hadn't wanted to ask, even if he knew the answer. Ide knew all of this. There was no need to reaffirm what they both knew. He was talking to Ryuk, as much as he wished he wasn't...
He pondered instead the words he was saying. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted the world on his side, and in some ways, knowing his influence was spreading so quickly was relieving. Knowing there were people who agreed with him. People who understood he was doing everything he could to help them. He hadn't dared to dream of this for months or even years, and this was only the beginning. So why couldn't he shake this growing dread that he was making a terrible mistake? He was making changes!
He was making changes by killing people...
Ryuk ignored that growing turmoil, entertaining himself by reading through as much of the website as he could without Ide noticing. He wouldn't have needed to worry, regardless. Ide's attention was captured completely by the way Aizawa's eyes fell downcast.
"Aizawa..." Aizawa hummed absently, reacting to the sound of his own name. "You lied to the Superintendent earlier. You didn't want to worry him because he was doing you a favor. You've been acting different lately." Ide rested his hand on top of Aizawa's, "Are you okay? Really?"
Aizawa stared down at Ide's hand for a long moment, looking up at Ide's face. "I'm fine." He could see the disbelief etched into Ide's features, that reminder of the lies putting a wall between them. He squeezed Ide's hand. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you everything... "I'll be fine."
OoOoO
"We are interrupting this program to bring you a live, globally-televised broadcast from Interpol, with Japanese voice-over by interpreter Yoshio Anderson."
Those words were all Aizawa needed to understand L's game. To be sure, he scanned Soichiro's expression of mild perplexment before that same understanding washed over his face. He told them the request had been to broadcast in every region of Japan separately, and that had not been a mistake. That was their order, but that was not what L wanted the public to believe.
L wants to narrow down Kira's location, but how is he planning to...?
His question was answered in the form of a man appearing on the screen and immediately addressing the people of Japan. "I am Lind L. Tailor, more commonly known as L—the sole person able to mobilize police in every country worldwide."
Aizawa heard the voices of his peers around him, some eager and others confused or remarking on the appearance of this so-called L, but he could barely register any of it. All he could hear was Ryuk's laughter ringing in his ears, drowning out the rest of the world and leaving only himself, the Shinigami, and Ide. Aizawa caught a glimpse of Ide's eyes, scrutinizing everything on screen. His reaction confirmed everything Aizawa had realized in a terrifying instant.
This wasn't the real L. The real L wouldn't be so stupid. But everything about this, from the lies about the location to the man on the screen, painted a disturbing picture of a net set to entrap anyone who stepped into it.
He was just being paranoid, right? He had heard stories of the way L operated, but if this was what he feared, that would mean...
"Businessmen and politicians have been the target of a killing spree, which is rapidly turning into the biggest mass murder case in history," Lind L. Tailor continued, "This monstrous crime must be stopped at all costs. 'Kira,' as the perpetrator is commonly known, will be caught. I guarantee it."
Ryuk leaned closer to the television, glancing over his shoulder only to stare into Aizawa's soul, "He guarantees you'll be caught," he chuckled, but Aizawa didn't hear him.
The biggest mass murder case in history... Aizawa leaned against the desk, letting his palm press harshly into the corner. He wasn't anywhere close to reaching the level of the worst serial killers in history. But the numbers didn't lie, either. If allowed to live and continue this mission he had set himself upon, it was only a matter of time before it transformed into that.
If this was the angle L was taking, what he was going to say next was...
"Kira. I think I've got a pretty good idea of why you're doing this. But what you are doing... is evil."
There it was. Like a blow to the gut or a knife to the heart, that word ringing in Aizawa's head was thrown into the world for all to hear. A trap by L to elicit a reaction from Kira, to confirm everything he wanted to know.
Aizawa slowly lowered himself into his seat, his body becoming heavy. This was too familiar. You think you can hurt me by calling me evil? Make me lash out and kill your stand-in? I'm sorry to disappoint, but I already know what I am.
What would this case look like if he was the person L seemed to believe he was? What if he had somehow convinced himself he was a savior for doing this, not just someone desperate and using the only method they could? He wasn't sure he would ever kill Lind L. Tailor, who, from all the information he possessed, was reading a script and unaware of L's intentions for him to die. Innocent people did not deserve to be involved in this... But if Aizawa was able to disassociate himself severely enough from his actions to not realize the horror of them, he had no idea what he would be capable of.
I can't keep thinking about this. Self-loathing would get him nowhere. He had to stop thinking like this. He had to think logically. L said that to get a rise out of me and distract me from what he is planning. What is he planning? He must have prepared for me to see through his trap. If I had fallen for it and revealed my power and location, that would obviously be ideal, but that can't be all L wanted from this. What does L know...? Something about this, maybe his own paranoia or the blatant way L chose to show his alleged face now and only now, gave him the sense L already knew much more than he was letting on.
Aizawa didn't realize he had tuned out the entire rest of the broadcast until everything had become completely silent. He spun around as a distorted voice suddenly rang through the main room, finding the emblem of L staring back at him through the computer.
"Thank you for your cooperation," L said. "We will continue our plan to broadcast live to other regions over the course of the evening and determine from there the results of our test."
"And what is this test?" Everyone turned towards Ide, who was making perfect eye contact with L on the other side. "From what we just witnessed, all that happened was you using a stand-in to make blows at Kira's ego. Wouldn't that be counterproductive if Kira chooses to stop the murders after this?"
He hadn't considered that, "Right..." This was good. If Ide's questions were being listened to by the others, that meant he could voice his own concerns without being suspected.
"Kira won't do that," L responded immediately, his confidence leaving Aizawa momentarily taken aback. "If he were willing to stop these murders after the smallest amount of pushback, he would never have begun this killing spree in such a calculated manner. In the worst-case scenario, where he does stop committing these murders to leave no further evidence, I would still catch him; it would simply take a while longer."
So getting rid of him wasn't going to be easy...
Soichiro cleared his throat. "L, I'm sorry for pushing the matter, but you never did answer the question of what this test is for."
"I'm afraid I still can't answer that," L said. "But rest assured that should the results be as paramount to the investigation as I believe they will be, I dare say it won't be long before I sentence Kira to death."
With those final words, the screen went black, leaving the task force stunned and asking questions to one another in hushed voices.
Aizawa took a shaky breath, replaying everything that just happened in his head. Sentence me to death... He had always known that would be his fate if he was caught, and if he were not hanged, he would be left wishing he was. He had never lingered on those thoughts before. If he did... he would be forced to realize he didn't mind.
He didn't mind meeting the fate he knew he deserved. The only reason that announcement choked him until he couldn't speak was the face of his daughter being morphed by anguish should that be his fate. Or the betrayal and horror from Ide. Aizawa knew the questions that would tear through Ide's mind for years to come, wondering when he had lost him and why. He never wanted to bring that pain to the people who had saved him time and time again.
For the sake of the people he loved, he needed to survive. Maybe he would be able to convince himself that he wanted to survive...
And to survive, he had to find L. Whoever he was, he had to find him and make sure he was out of the way. Would he have to kill L...? He didn't want to. He wanted to avoid that, but in a situation of life or death, Aizawa's life or L's, he feared the choice he would have to make to protect himself and his loved ones.
Ryuk grinned as he watched the gears spinning in Aizawa's head. "So, you're both trying to find someone you know nothing about... Not their name, face, or anything else. And whoever is found first is dead," he let out a mad cackle. "Humans are so interesting...! I'm watching this to the bitter end."
I'll survive. I won't let L win.
He should have been paying closer attention to the world around him, for if Aizawa had pulled himself from his thoughts for even a moment, he would have seen the growing suspicion in Ide's eyes.
OoOoO
So Kira didn't take the bait...
L had known there was a distinct possibility Kira would not react to his prodding. He had prepared for and expected such an outcome. Nothing appeared to have happened on the surface, and he was forced to honor his agreement to set Lind L. Tailor free for his cooperation. That was fine. He could be useful as a long-term stand-in. No, what interested L far more was what he learned from this.
He pulled up some files he had been surveying and updating over the course of a few days since this case had come to his attention. He had suspected from the beginning that Kira had inexplicably gained the power to kill from a distance. Naturally, the first thing he did was test that theory in secret by sending Watari as Quillsh Wammy to meet with people most likely to be targeted by Kira. His hunch had been confirmed immediately, with a politician being murdered by Kira before Watari's eyes.
With that information on hand, L had been able to go through the recent death records for anything that could match Kira's method of killing. That was when he had discovered the Shinjuku killer who had taken a high school hostage and, within minutes of that information being broadcast, died of a heart attack. His crime was unlike anything Kira had targeted since, and that, added to the time between those deaths, had made the police write it off, but L could not overlook this. This crime matched his timeline and had only been reported in Japan. Kira was in Japan, and his first victim was nothing more than an experiment. He had not been killing for very long, and given the time between that murder and his current killing spree, he had contemplated for quite a while what he wanted to do with this power. This was thought out, meaning Kira would not run and hide.
Which brought him back around to the results of the broadcast and what they could mean for his growing profile on Kira's personality. He couldn't ignore the possibility there was no reaction because Kira had not seen the broadcast, but he had taken measures to ensure this was done during a time when most people were home and to have it played in offices as a precaution. Kira could kill from a distance, so he would need to monitor Lind L. Tailor to ensure he remained alive. If he died soon, that would inform him that Kira had seen the broadcast and recognized the trap, and that could provide him with information, but then again, he could glean just as much if time passed and Lind L. Tailor didn't die...
If Lind L. Tailor didn't die and L factored in that Kira would have to know of the broadcast even if he had not seen it himself, that would leave one of two options for Kira's personality.
The first option was that Kira simply wasn't confrontational, and he would never react for any number of reasons, likely stemming from confidence in his distant killings, strategy, and a degree of self-awareness.
The second option, the one L found the most intriguing, was that Kira was a member of the Japanese task force. If Kira was among the police, he could have easily figured out what L was doing and could be planning to utilize the information from the investigation to avoid capture.
He needed to guarantee which of those two options was the truth, if not both. Additionally, he would need to ensure there were only a few people on the task force to have a truly reliable team and narrow down his list of suspects. For that… he couldn't implement it just yet, but he had an idea.
Kira... I'm going to find and dispose of you if it's the last thing I do. Of the two of us, I am justice!
Notes:
Sorry for disappearing for a while. In true AO3 author fashion, life kicked me and my entire family violently in the ass.
Chapter Text
"Kira. I think I've got a pretty good idea of why you're doing this. But what you are doing... is evil."
Evil...
Aizawa had no idea how long he lay in bed, staring at the edge where the wall met the ceiling with glazed eyes that only blinked once they burned. Nothing felt real anymore. A whirlwind of thoughts had been plaguing his mind with such intensity that he couldn't identify anything. It granted him the illusion of silence as reality and his fears worked to drown themselves into white noise.
Another day had gone by working on the Kira case. Another day where he couldn't speak without the incessant reminder of his lies. He thought he had adjusted to that difference among his peers, never forgotten but easier to ignore, but working on the case to catch him meant he needed to adapt all over again. Readapt to the feeling he was in another world, identical to his own but completely different.
Nothing had changed. His job was the same, his coworkers were the same, everything was the same. Yet everything around him felt new in a way that was petrifying. He was looking at everyone with new eyes and that constant reminder there was something they were all oblivious to.
Because nobody else knew... about the Shinigami, the Death Note, or what Aizawa had been doing. He was the only one who knew the truth of everything that was happening and the world they were living in or what would happen after they died. Aizawa had known he would have to face this for the rest of his life. He had prepared and taught himself to acclimate. Still, there was something different about simply knowing in contrast to using that information as an advantage against those who sought to capture him.
All he needed to do was wait it out. He had already heard the discussions behind closed doors, contemplating the morality of what Kira was doing, and those reactions were not as negative as a task force of its size would merit. What Kira was doing was evil. L had not been wrong about that, but the goal he was striving toward was anything but evil. If those debates had already begun, he shouldn't have to worry. One day, everyone would understand, and even if everything was still different, he wouldn't have to live with the constant feeling that he didn't belong in this world anymore.
L would not be so understanding. Nobody knew any definite details of L's identity or personality, but there was a lot Aizawa could put together by listening. Small comments that would go over the heads of most, and the most subtle changes in L's tone despite the voice changer, painted a picture of what kind of person L was. What he had found was...
Something about L was off. Aizawa had tried, but no words could properly describe what he found. He decided he didn't have enough information to pinpoint what about L unnerved him so much, but there was something that brought back that sinking feeling in Aizawa's chest. Something that told him L was a far more dangerous threat than he should be.
That was fine. He made sure there was no evidence L could use, right? He had made sure to make the time frame and time zone useless pieces of evidence. He never kept his killings in any one location. He never killed Lind L. Tailor, which meant he had never confirmed his existence beyond a shadow of a doubt.
He should be fine, right? He should have all of his bases covered for the time being. So why couldn't he shake the feeling there was something he missed? A mistake he had made somewhere? L had been able to deduce he was in Japan and kept his cards close to his chest on how he came to that conclusion. He remained quiet about his reasoning but shut down anyone who claimed he was wrong.
If L was that confident and chose to hide crucial evidence, Aizawa must have made a mistake somewhere, but where? Where had he made such a fatal error? He turned over in bed, pulling the covers over his shoulders. This was all getting to be too much...
Ryuk tilted his head to the side. He curiously watched Aizawa from his usual perch at the foot of the bed, "Never seen you looking so listless, Shuichi. And that's saying something."
"I'm just taking a break," Aizawa grumbled. "I made sure L knows I'm not running away, but now's as good a time as any to slow down my MO like I planned. I want to see where the investigation goes next..." he pulled the blankets tighter around himself. His eyelids slowly began drifting closed. "I'm tired..."
Ryuk watched Aizawa's demeanor, his glowing eyes assessing the best course of action. "Can I at least turn on the television?" His hands crept towards the remote, but Aizawa grabbed the remote off the nightstand and pulled it under the covers with him.
"No... Please, just let me have some quiet." Ryuk leaned forward, getting his face in Aizawa's personal space, trying to distract him long enough to snatch the remote from his iron grip. Aizawa gritted his teeth and sat up in bed. "Fine! You know why I don't want to turn on the television?" He turned on the television, and the first thing to come on was a variation of the same news report that had been playing incessantly for days. "There, see? Super Sleuth L, Interpol's shadowy mastermind vs. supernatural Kira, telepathic mass murderer. Take one step out of the house or turn on the television, and all you hear about is L and Kira. You can't avoid it, even if you want to..."
Ryuk sat down on the bed next to Aizawa despite Aizawa's exasperated expression. "Come on, you've gotta find some fun in it. This news report is saying you and L were made up by the police."
Aizawa rolled his eyes, leaning back against the pillows and headboard. "I... I guess it could be interesting if I wasn't Kira." He groaned as he watched the news report displaying the same badly clipped interviews and articles, "None of these people are taking it seriously. People are dying for God's sake. Don't sensationalize it for views."
"So you're just mad at the media for not handling things properly," Ryuk asked. His grin never wavered, watching Aizawa intently, "This has nothing to do with what that Lind L. Tailor guy said?"
"No..." Aizawa ran his hand along his forearm, wincing as the fabric brushed against what lay underneath. He pulled up his sleeves, staring down at the bruises and scratches littered along his arms. He covered them up again, but his hand remained resting over his forearm, feeling that familiar deep, dull pain. Just like he feared, the Kira case was making this worse... The only thing that had been saving him before was the routine of it all, but with that routine completely gone, he was feeling less and less safe in his own home.
He glanced cautiously up at Ryuk as he realized the Shinigami had been staring at his arms. Ryuk had never commented on the injuries outside of remarking on the different stages of bruises. He never needed to say anything for Aizawa to know he understood what was happening wasn't or shouldn't be normal for humans. Should he...?
No. There was something else that he needed to be sure of. Something he had suspected for a long time, and he needed to be sure of before he could continue. "Ryuk... If L were to arrest me, you wouldn't wait around and watch as I am imprisoned and executed, right?"
"Nope," Ryuk took a bite of an apple out of the bag Aizawa kept hidden in his nightstand. "Who knows how long they would keep you in prison? If you're going to die anyway, I'm not going to wait around. I would harvest the rest of your natural lifespan and go on with my existence."
Aizawa stiffened. "Harvest the rest of my natural lifespan..." he chuckled. As he suspected, Ryuk had no need to hide the truth. It was all a matter of asking. "My suspicions were right. That's the bond between you and me, and that's why you have sole rights to my name. You're here for a good time, but in the end, humans are just nothing but food to you."
Ryuk stopped just before taking a second bite of his apple, slowly turning away from it and peering at Aizawa with an intense curiosity. "Well, I can't exactly deny that." Aizawa couldn't react before Ryuk waved a long finger in his face. "Don't get it twisted, though. I'm not here just waiting for you to die so I can harvest your lifespan. I'd like you to live as long as possible." He chuckled menacingly, leaning his head to the side in a much more predatory manner. The glow of his eyes morphed into something threatening, making it impossible for Aizawa to forget exactly what he was. "I could harvest your lifespan or someone else's. It's all the same to me."
Aizawa pushed Ryuk's face away from his personal space, "And the only reason you want me to live as long as possible is because I'm providing entertainment for you. If the role was passed on to someone else, you wouldn't have any interest in my life," he hummed thoughtfully, glancing off to the side of the bed at the wall just underneath the window. "So what am I to you, then? A pet?"
"I wouldn't say that," Ryuk said. He took a bite of his apple, chewing loudly while he continued talking, making Aizawa cringe. "Looking at the criteria, I can see why you'd think that, but treating humans like pets isn't nearly as interesting as treating them like equals," he swallowed his bite, wiping the edge of his mouth, "As long as you remember we're different, I'm not going to be bringing it up unless it's relevant."
Is that so? "And the rest of your kind is the same way?"
Ryuk shrugged, "I've been told I'm something of an oddity for my kind," he leaned back against the bed, "Honestly, the others are probably saying I'm your pet. See, we don't do what we do because we harbor any ill will towards you humans, but that doesn't mean most Shinigami care." He bent his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at Aizawa again, pointing his claw directly in Aizawa's face, barely a centimeter from making contact with his skin. "I can see those gears turning in your head. Giving you the notebook isn't some scheme to collect lifespan without having to do any work. That's not how that works. The only thing I'm getting from dropping the Death Note in the human world is watching what a human would do with it, and you're one of the best people who could have picked it up."
Aizawa let out a breath he had only dully known he was holding. He pulled back from Ryuk and rested with his back against the headboard. "You don't need to remind me. I already know. I just wanted to make sure I understood our dynamic before I started making requests."
As Aizawa had been expecting, partially hoping, Ryuk's interest was visibly piqued, "Requests? What kind of request are you looking for?" Ryuk asked, "You've been talking about dying a lot lately... If you feel like dying, I can help with that, but doesn't that go against your whole plan to make a new world?"
The corner of Aizawa's mouth twitched into almost a smile, but none of it touched his eyes, "You're right, it does. But if I ever resort to asking you for a favor like this, there's no point thinking about a new world," he kicked his legs off the bed and spun his body to sit on the edge closest to the window. "I'm not stupid. I know what will happen if I'm captured. I know what will happen to my kids..." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his hands curled, gripping the bedsheets. "This might not make sense to you, but no matter what happens, I need to make sure nobody ever finds out my identity. I'm not asking you to help me while I'm alive, but if a day ever comes when we both know I'm screwed, would you do me a favor and keep the killings going for a little while after I'm gone? Do what you have to do, but make sure my kids don't have their lives ruined because of my actions. They deserve better than that..."
Ryuk blinked slowly. His eyes pressed into Aizawa's back as he waited for him to change his mind the way countless humans must have before him, but within barely a minute, he understood the seriousness of this plea. "I suppose that's a fair request. The police all over the world are on your tail, and from my understanding, humans aren't very forgiving," he shrugged. "Alright, fine, you've got yourself a deal. But you better not get sloppy just because you have a backup plan," he leaned across the bed in an attempt to see Aizawa's face instead of his back. "Is there a specific method you want me to use to end your life? If you're thinking this far ahead, you probably have one in mind."
Aizawa flinched. He turned away to prevent Ryuk from seeing the turmoil etched into his features. He did have a method in mind... He had been contemplating his options since he first considered this a possibility. Suicide would be the simplest and most favorable option in a messed up way...
His hand rested over his arm.
But there was a more realistic way he could die. One that would be considered a freak accident and not the cover-up that it was. He knew it was possible. The only limit was having someone around who was able and willing to kill him... and there was no denying he had that. There was a reason he had a lock on his door.
Was that the right thing to do? To have Eriko killing him be a contingency plan? If he had to resort to that, it would leave the children orphaned... What would hurt the children more? Leaving them orphaned or leaving them with their mother without him there to protect them?
He buried his face in his hands. This was never something he should have to be considering! He shouldn't have to be worrying about if his children would be safe when he was dead. Oh god, this is real...
A sudden knocking on the door made his heart skip a beat. His breath hitched, and he only managed to exhale as he recognized that familiar code knock, confirmed by the voice on the other end, "Hey, Dad! Can I come in?"
Aizawa snapped uptight, spinning towards Ryuk, then back at the door, "Uh—Coming!" He got to his feet, waiting for the dark spots in his vision to fade and allow him to check the subtle shadow under the door. He willed himself to smile, opening the door and finding Yumi alone, grinning and rocking on her feet. "Hey." He pulled her into an embrace, hoping she didn't notice the way he held her just a bit tighter than normal. "Did you finish your book?"
Yumi nodded. "Mhm!" She pulled away just enough that she could shut the door behind them, waiting until Aizawa let go before she wandered into the bedroom completely and sat down at the foot of his bed. "Mom said she's tired and going to bed early tonight. So I was wondering if maybe we could do something together?" her eyes lit up as an idea came to mind, "We could get a Christmas cake!"
Wait, shit, what day was it? Aizawa checked the calendar hanging on the far wall. He realized from the subtle changes in the pen markings it hadn't been updated while trapped in his thoughts. He glanced over his shoulder worriedly to Ryuk, earning a groan from the Shinigami as he got up from the bed and guided Aizawa's hand to point toward Christmas Eve. Aizawa's stomach dropped. How did he lose track of his days so much!? He had to count the lucky stars that he had planned ahead before beginning his mission as Kira. Otherwise, he could be in deep trouble.
He didn't let any of that panic on his face, smiling softly to his little girl, "Of course. Go bundle up while I get dressed, and we'll do something together."
"Okay!" Yumi jumped off the bed and hurried out the door, and Aizawa waited to make sure she was in her room before he closed the door. He heaved a sigh, resting his head against the door and taking a precious moment to close his eyes.
"Thanks, Ryuk..."
Ryuk's unwavering smile had never truly left his face, but even without looking over his shoulder to see what thoughts had crossed his mind, something felt different about the way Ryuk stared at him. "Are you sure you're up for going out? There's gonna be a lot of talk about Kira and L." His voice sounded different as well. As unsettling as always, but the familiar apathy from before had given way to something else. Almost... concerned. Or as concerned as an immortal death god could be for a human, not enough to intervene or to actually care but enough to be perplexed. Curious.
Aizawa chuckled humorlessly to himself as he slowly opened his eyes, gradually mustering up the energy to move away from the door. Nothing had changed then, but he had to be in bad shape to have earned such a reaction. "No..." he willed himself away from the door, digging into his wardrobe and putting on some outerwear once Ryuk had turned around. "I'm not up for it, but my issues aren't Yumi's problem. Besides, I probably need to get out for some fresh air." He winced as the fabric of his sleeves harshly ran against his forearms, though he didn't say anything of it as he finished pulling the cuffs of his button-up through his jacket. The pain was something he could deal with. His shirt bunching up underneath his jacket would drive him insane.
Then Ryuk said something that made Aizawa's blood run cold. "While we're on the topic of making sure we're on the same page, you need to watch out."
Aizawa completely came to a stop. "...What?"
"The Death Note," Ryuk pointed towards the drawer, making sure Aizawa was looking as well, "If that kid of yours touches it—well, anyone who touches it can see me."
Aizawa couldn't move, staring wide-eyed at the cabinet he had already feared wasn't enough to hide the truth, now confirmed in one of the worst ways. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins and morphing terror into anger. Gritting his teeth to keep from screaming, he was shaking as he choked out, "You're telling me this now?!"
Ryuk shrugged with a severely inappropriate amount of nonchalance. "I hadn't really thought about it before now," he said, his words at the very least acknowledging his error regardless of whether he truly believed it. "You've already been so careful hiding it. My bad."
Fuck. Fuck! There truly was no deniability if anyone were to unlock the box. Eriko finding the Death Note had always been the worst-case scenario, but some desperate part of him had hoped he could escape with his life by telling her something close to the truth. He could say he found the notebook by chance and had decided to use it to count the case victims because, as over the top as the title was, it was accurate.
Eriko would have never believed such a stupid lie. Anything was more believable than him owning a supernatural notebook that killed people, but given how little she thought of him, she may believe it for no reason other than an excuse to justify her treatment of him. She would kill him.
Thinking about it more, Aizawa had to concede that this information didn't change much about his circumstances. If anyone found the notebook, he would be in trouble, regardless of whether they could see Ryuk. All this changed was reaffirming how careful he had to be with the piece he kept in his wallet.
This information wasn't catastrophic, but Aizawa still needed a moment to diffuse his anger enough that he could speak without shouting. "While we're discussing all of this, is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"
He almost wondered why he bothered to bite back feelings because Ryuk responded to his ire with the same indifference and amusement as he had most things, "Maybe, maybe not," he said, "We'll see if it ever comes up."
Aizawa groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. There definitely was something else he wasn't saying. "Will not having that knowledge get me killed?"
"No, not really."
"I'll get that out of you later, then," Aizawa muttered. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and quickly stepped into the bathroom to examine his reflection in the mirror. Nothing was showing. No one would guess anything. "Remember, I can't talk to you when I'm outside. Don't make me look insane around my daughter."
"Fine, fine," Ryuk grumbled, dutifully following after Aizawa as they left the bedroom and stepped into the hallway. He paused, standing perfectly still like the human he was bound to. "Shuichi?"
Aizawa kept his hand on the doorknob behind him, making sure it was latched, but his body remained frozen save for his neck, glancing back and forth to either side.
To his right was the stairwell. He could easily meet Yumi downstairs by the door without anyone considering why. To his left was the remainder of the hallway housing four doors. A bathroom, the children's rooms... and Eriko's room at the end of the hall. Formerly, the room they had shared, but those days were so long ago Aizawa could only distantly remember them.
He could go downstairs. Eriko was tired and would be sleeping soon. He could go downstairs.
The lights were still on under her door.
He went left. He didn't dare breathe as he knocked on the door. "Eriko?" He pushed the door open, peeking inside, trying to force a smile that only came across so strained he shouldn't bother. "I...I'm taking Yumi out for the evening. Do you want anything?"
Eriko didn't so much as hum to acknowledge his presence for a long moment. One hand rested on her rounded stomach, and the other held a book Aizawa couldn't see the title of. From the way the bridge of her nose crinkled in slight disapproval, this was probably one of Yumi's books.
Only when she realized Aizawa wasn't going to leave without an answer did she finally give one, "No," she said simply, "I'm fine."
That was the answer he had been expecting, and he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or not. Her allegedly not wanting anything could mean any number of things. Trying to imagine them all made his mind race and panic set in. What if she did want something and expected him to be a mind reader and surprise her to show affection that—
He cut himself off. He wasn't sure how he could finish that sentence. He wasn't sure he should. "We won't be out too late," he said, unsure if he was stating a fact or trying to be reassuring.
"Have fun with Yumi."
Aizawa stopped in his tracks just before he was about to step through the doorway and to his freedom. His jaw set, and he had to remind his limbs how to move despite the spike of adrenaline that shot through his core. He knew that tone, glancing over his shoulder to confirm what he already knew to be true. "Is something wrong?"
Eriko sighed, "It's nothing..."
"No, it's not nothing," Aizawa snapped. His eyes widened as she looked at him in equal surprise, and he forced his voice to soften, "You always say that, but it's never nothing."
He knew what she wanted. Before she could say it, he knew what she wanted, and thinking about it caused an unseen force to grip his throat and lungs. Not so much the request itself that made him ill but rather the crushing reality that he would have no choice.
And Eriko was as aware of this as he was, "You didn't kiss me. You never do unless I have to ask."
After everything you've done to me... His hand involuntarily went to his throat. Why would I want to? There were so many things he wanted to say, but that iron vice over his throat remained. If it were anyone else, he could scream everything to the rooftops. But he couldn't do that with Eriko. There was too much at stake for him to ever do that.
He couldn't muster up the energy to maintain a fake apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I need to be better about that."
"You do."
Fine. If this was what it took to get her off his back for the evening... Aizawa leaned down and kissed her. He knew what she liked well enough, but he let his mind wander elsewhere as her hands raised to his hair.
Why did she insist on this? He had been trying to understand that for years. What was going on in her head to demand a kiss from the same man she was willing to hit and scratch so viciously for the smallest perceived slight? Did she truly expect him to be okay with that and act like nothing happened, or did she simply not care and want him to shut up? Did she hate him, or did she love him?
He wasn't sure he could bring himself to feel guilty anymore that he couldn't make her happy. He had tried for so many years. He did everything he could without destroying himself. Even destroying himself wasn't good enough for her. What was he supposed to do...?
When did everything go so wrong?
That was the real question, wasn't it? He and Eriko had never been close in the way a husband and wife usually were, but they had been close once. They had been friends, able and willing to confide their insecurities and hopes in one another. When had his friend disappeared? What had he done wrong? He had cared about her. Some part of him always would, so why did she...?
He hadn't realized a single tear had slipped down his cheek until Eriko brushed it away. He could feel her smile as they slowly broke apart, "There you go," she whispered, looking down at the droplet of water in her hand, "You should show your emotions to me more. That's all I want..."
No... No, it wasn't.
Ryuk tugged on Aizawa's sleeve, "Are we going to go?" He asked, "Don't get me wrong, if you want to spend more time with her, I'm not going to stop you. But as your roommate, I should remind you that your daughter is waiting downstairs."
Right... Aizawa pulled away from the bed and made his way towards the door, hastily closing it behind him as he left.
"I love you."
He heard what Eriko said. He just hoped he was far enough away that he could be forgiven for not answering. He wasn't sure if he could because he only felt the tension over his vocal cords lift away the further he was away from her room.
He took a deep breath in, and then another, before softly beginning to hum. There was something comforting in the sensations brought on by humming a simple melody he had known since he was young. Nobody ever had to know.
As soon as he descended the stairs and into the foyer, he was greeted by the welcoming sight of Yumi waiting by the door, carrying in each hand a travel mug that she held up in the air, "It's cold outside, so I made hot chocolate!" She offered out one of the travel mugs for him to take, "You've been really tired lately, so I put coffee in yours."
"Really?" He gratefully took the mug from her, glancing over towards the kitchen, "Thank you, Yumi. That's perfect." He pulled open the door, experimentally sticking his hand through the doorway to test the weather. "Do you have your gloves?"
Yumi nodded, digging into her coat pocket to reveal her pale pink mittens, "Mhm!"
"Good..." He held open the door, gesturing for Yumi to step outside, "After you. Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Yumi ran out the door with a bounce in her step, spinning around on her heel with a bright smile on her face, "We could just walk around. The lights are so pretty!" She shivered, pulling her jacket tighter around herself, holding tight onto her hot chocolate, "Do you think it's going to snow?"
Aizawa couldn't help but smile as he closed the door behind him, "Maybe. Nothing in the forecast says we're due for snow. Then again, when has the weather forecast ever been right?" He chuckled, sipping his drink and taking the first step down the driveway with Yumi by his side.
The city never looked so beautiful as it did during the winter nights. All the trees were wrapped in lights, enveloping the world in a pale blue glow bordering on white, reflecting in the windows and the river, chasing away the shadows and bringing with it a certain sense of serenity that even the sound of ambulance sirens in the distance did little to disturb.
He could feel the cold air nipping at any exposed skin it could find, the chill helping to wake him up the longer he continued walking with one foot in front of the other. He took another drink of his hot chocolate. "So, what's going on in your world?"
Yumi pondered his question for a few moments, "Um... Everyone's really excited for winter break," she said, her frozen breath appearing in front of her as she spoke, "A boy in my class asked Kamiko if she wanted to study with him tonight. I think he's the secret admirer I was telling you about."
He wasn't sure he would ever adjust to that. He thought he would have a few years before crushes between classmates were a factor in Yumi's life. "Really? He finally had the guts to talk to her?"
"I think so." She spread her arms to better balance as they walked along the sidewalk, doing her best to maintain balance with one foot in front of the other. "I don't really get it, but Kamiko's really happy." She stopped walking after only a few steps, looking curiously up at one of the massive screens broadcasting over the city. Huh? Only then did Aizawa pick up on what was being said.
"Speculation about the existence of Kira has become the main talking point around the world. The police silence regarding their involvement in L's investigation has led many to believe Kira was a government conspiracy that accidentally leaked to the public."
"Hey, Dad..."
"Hm?"
"You're working on the Kira case, right?" Yumi wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make her body as small as possible as she turned away from the screens, "A lot of the teachers are talking about it, especially in homeroom. People have been saying a lot of stuff I don't understand. Is Kira real? Or is the news right that he's made up?"
Aizawa hesitated. Should he...? She was young, but he was part of the case. She should understand why. He turned to look in either direction and scan the people around them. None were paying attention, but they were far too close for comfort. "We shouldn't talk about this here," he took her free hand and briskly guided her along the path, "Come on. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but if you keep it a secret, I can tell you a little bit. Promise?"
Yumi's entire face brightened, eagerly nodding and picking up the pace to better follow after him, "I promise!"
A small smile found its way onto Aizawa's face, holding tight onto her small hand as they wandered down the path closest to the river. He came to a stop as he found a bunch overlooking the shining waters, "We should be alright here," he sat down on the bench, urging Yumi to sit beside him, "The news has probably been really confusing for you."
Yumi nodded. She kicked her legs out in front of her back and forth, "If you're working on the Kira case, that means Kira is real, right?"
There was no use lying to her about this. "Yeah... Kira's real," his words were barely above a whisper. "Nobody knows how he gained the power he has, but Kira is real. L is working really hard to help us catch him."
Yumi gasped softly, taking in the new information she was given with quiet contemplation. Only after a moment's thought did she inquire about anything else, "Do the police know why Kira is killing people?" she asked, "L said on the broadcast that he knew why Kira was doing this, but I don't understand why... Why is Kira killing people?"
Aizawa shut his eyes tightly. He could never expect her to understand. He wasn't sure he ever wanted her to, but maybe... "Nobody knows for sure why Kira is doing this. He hasn't come out and said it or anything," he sighed, "But... given how he goes about things, it looks like Kira is trying to help in his own way. He's trying to do the right thing, but he's doing it by taking the lives of people he deems as evil. No one person should have that kind of power, so the harder he tries, the worse things are going to get for him."
"They are?" Yumi paused, her lips pressed together in deep concentration while staring out at the river, "When that burglar died on television a few weeks ago, I thought it was good because that meant he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Was I being bad thinking that?"
"What? No," he pulled her close so her head could rest on his shoulder, "No, sweetie, you weren't being bad. A lot of people think like that, even I think like that sometimes, and that's why a lot of us on the case think Kira is trying to do good things." He ran his hands through her hair to comfort her, feeling her relax from his reassurances, "There are bad people in this world, people we would all be better off without. What makes Kira different is that he is taking the law into his own hands and erasing those kinds of people. The reason we have so many steps in the criminal justice system is to make sure no one person has the power to take lives. Even if Kira's mission started out with good intentions, that kind of power will eventually get to a person's head."
"Really?" She pressed herself closer to him, "So you're trying to stop him before the power goes to his head?"
"Yeah... At this point, I doubt it would end well, no matter what anyone did." He could see Ryuk's eyes glowing in the darkness of his peripheral vision, blood red clashing with the pale blue basking over them from the reflection of the river. A constant reminder of the request he made barely an hour ago. "The only thing we can do is try to stop him before innocent people pay the price."
Ryuk's laughter cut through the relative silence. "Would you look at that? That Lind L. Tailor guy really did impact you," he leaned forward from his perch on a branch in a nearby tree. "Is that why you are telling her this? Humans who use the Death Note are cursed with nothing but misfortune. Are you trying to warn her about the path you set yourself on?"
There's no other way to say it... Yumi deserved to have some idea what was going to happen. Once the world was fixed, once his children were grown and could survive in the new world he paved for them, he would have no choice but to disappear. For everyone's sake. Not even erasing his memories would undo the damage this path would inflict on his soul, and if it could, how much of him would be left when all was said and done? Everything he was would cease to exist.
Those thoughts would linger over him for as long as the Shinigami did, but they were pushed away in an instant when he heard his child's soft cries, "Yumi? What's wrong?"
"You're going to be okay, right?" Yumi whimpered, wrapping her arms around him and refusing to let go. "Kira's not going to hurt you?"
"I..." he softened, pulling her up to sit in his lap, "You don't have to worry about me." He hugged her close, "This case isn't going to be easy, but it's my job to make sure you and your brother grow up in a good world. So, what's better? Doing nothing, or doing something?"
Yumi wiped away her tears, already frozen to her cheeks, "Doing something is better. And I guess Kira wants to do something too..." she beamed as an idea came to her, "Kira should try to be like you! If I could grow up and become a person just like you, then that's something I know for sure would make me happy, so maybe being like you would make Kira happy!"
I'm so sorry, Yumi... His breath hitched, masking the gut-wrenching agony behind a smile as he cupped her cheek in his icy hand, hoping she would mistake his shaking as shivers from the cold. "I love you, Yumi..." I'm so sorry. "You're always so compassionate. Don't ever lose that."
Yumi was a smart girl, but was she old enough to understand what was happening? More than that... what would happen if Yumi ever learned the truth of what he had done? Would she resent him? Understand him?
There was no point agonizing over those questions he may never know the answer to. All that would achieve was making him suffer more. He could only pray that he could finish what he had started before it was too late—before he was beyond saving.
"Come on," Aizawa took Yumi's hand, standing up from the bench and continuing down the path, "We should do something fun. You said you wanted to get a Christmas cake, right? The shops should be open a little while longer."
Yumi's worries disappeared as he had hoped, replaced with a radiant smile. "Okay!" She pulled away from his hand, running forward along the path. Ryuk took off into the sky overhead, keeping a close lookout for any dangers in the shadows.
Aizawa watched as she practically danced along the sidewalk with the same innocence he had prayed for all of his life. A somber smile found its way onto his face. I didn't understand anything back then. What it meant to pray for a miracle... or the price of one.
He understood now. The price he would have to pay for a new world was a heavy one. He couldn't say if he would be able to make it out of this with his soul intact. Could he do this?
He had to. Even if he had given up any hope for himself, he had to keep fighting for those he would leave behind. He would endure suffering without rest if it meant keeping that hope in the eyes of the people he loved, and make sure they wouldn't be left alone with this rotten world if he disappeared.
With regret heavy on his heart, he would continue on with this mission.
He just hoped there would be something left of him in the end.
OoOoO
Soichiro waited for the last of the younger officers scattered around the office to find their seats. His desk overlooked all the others, with only other high-rank officials in the NPA by his side, allowing him a full view of everyone for any trace of missing members. His hands were folded neatly on top of each other, his eyelids heavy from too many sleepless nights. He needed a quiet moment to collect himself before leafing through the heap of reports in front of him. "Next, victims."
Ide hastily gathered the notes he had been reading through, "Yes, sir," he stood up, finishing reading through the notes he and Aizawa had collected for the day. Aizawa knew he shouldn't have agreed to collect that information, but as the culprit, he had all of the reliable information and knew what the police shouldn't know. The role was high risk, but as long as he wasn't caught, it was also high reward. "We've been able to determine that the details regarding all those believed to be victims, i.e., politicians and businessmen who have died of cardiac arrest, were available through the media. The numbers were relatively even all around, regardless of the amount of information available. The only thing of note was a subtle increase in killings located around Japan and the United States," Ide sighed, glancing behind him, narrowing his eyes towards Watari and L's computer. "As for the time of death, which L was particularly interested in finding out... the killings have become less frequent than they were initially, but the fact that the times of death are completely random remains the same."
Soichiro nodded thoughtfully, "Hm... Okay, next, tip-offs."
Mogi was the next to stand, momentarily hesitating before speaking up. "Yes, sir. So far, we've received 3,029 calls from the public, of which the vast majority wanted to know if the Interpol broadcast the other day was genuine and if L actually exists, but... there were fourteen callers who claimed to either know Kira or have seen him." Aizawa blinked as Mogi continued, "We got detailed descriptions from those callers, which are given in my report, but I think it's safe to say none of them are credible. We also received twenty-one calls from people claiming to be Kira."
Ukita scoffed, fidgeting with his pen, "Yeah, right..." Aizawa shot him a look to be quiet, and Ukita straightened in his seat, resting his pen down.
Mogi gripped slightly tighter onto the paper, his eyes taking on a distant look while waiting for any remarks to fall quiet. Aizawa briefly questioned Mogi's nervousness before the reason sparked in his memory. Right... Mogi was never comfortable speaking up. Why had the officers in his group assigned him to do the talking?
Eventually, Mogi managed to continue, "Not wanting to rule out any possibility, however slight, we took statements from each one and have them on file."
He would have to take a look at those files. Aizawa caught Mogi's eye and gestured for him to pass over those files. Mogi brightened somewhat, his broad shoulders managing to relax while passing them over as quietly as possible, and Aizawa rested them down on his desk to look them over where Ryuk could easily see as well.
For the love of... why were most of these teenagers?! This was already exhausting. He could tell from skimming through the documents that those calls had been from attention-seeking kids who wanted fame without understanding anything.
There were some reports that were noteworthy. Suffering individuals who seemed in the transcriptions of their accounts to be genuinely afraid that they had this power. Though the files were limited on the background of most of these individuals, there were some similarities he noticed almost immediately. Multiple of these people had a history of mental illness... Aizawa sighed. Those were the people he felt bad for.
Ide peeked at the files, too, his body language deflating with a growing lack of faith in humanity as he read through the results. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to for Aizawa to understand his feelings.
What if Kira had been a teenager? No doubt it would be done differently, but if he wasn't Kira, and the notebook had been found by some kid... Aizawa wasn't sure what he would do with that. He wasn't sure what anyone would do with that if the investigation came to a point where they were legitimately trying to arrest a teenager. He carded his fingers through his hair. He should be glad he was Kira, so he didn't need to imagine those scenarios...
Soichiro flipped through his copy of the documents, his eyes narrowing subtly while reading a document Aizawa couldn't see the contents of. "Hm. So that's all the reports for today..." he rested the papers down, addressing the gathered officers, "Next, if you've noticed anything or have a question, go ahead."
Matsuda stood up, raising his hand sheepishly, "Here, sir..."
"What is it, Matsuda?" Soichiro asked. Aizawa turned around in his seat as well. Matsuda wasn't usually so anxious, so what was he about to say...?
"This is in no way meant to give credit to Kira... honestly, I'm not even sure if it's related to Kira, but, well, in the past few days..." Matsuda held onto his arm, his eyes becoming fixated on the floor, "There has been a noticeable decrease in the number of white-collar crimes committed worldwide, especially in Japan."
Everyone was silent, some staring at Matsuda in disbelief, others asking what he was thinking. Aizawa silently watched Matsuda's body language shrink down further, regretting his words, but though Aizawa would never be in a position to say so, he was grateful someone was willing to say it. To confirm what he had seen so he could be sure it wasn't all in his head.
Soichiro closed his eyes and managed a resigned nod, "Well, I suppose that makes sense. There's been a considerable change in larger corporations and political climates lately. Depending on how this plays out..." he trailed off. "Anyone else?"
Silence.
Soichiro let out a heavy breath, glancing over to L's computer in the back of the room, "I guess that's all for today's meeting, L."
"Thank you. I feel like we're getting a little closer," L said. "Now, I've got another request for you, if you don't mind. This is for the squads in charge of victims, media, and the internet. I'd like you to investigate once more how the victims were reported in the media. Namely, I want to know if reports included photographs or interviews showing the faces of those who later died. Additionally, I would like a detailed report on the times of death, specifically what times Japanese victims were killed and if it was later in the evening."
"Huh?" Aizawa asked, "Why would Japanese victims be killed in the evening?" He was sure he wasn't doing that, the killings were all done at random without discrimination, but...
"We are gathering a profile on Kira and what he is capable of, and there is something regarding the time of death I need to be certain of before I can proceed with my investigation," L explained. Deciphering his tone through the voice changer was never easy, but he didn't seem annoyed by the question. "Thank you for your help." The screen shut off, and Watari closed the laptop, standing from his desk and leaving without another word.
Ryuk stared as the doors closed behind Watari, then looked down on Aizawa. "Do you think he figured out that you can control the time of death?"
I haven't exactly been subtle about that. There's no way to determine where I am by using the time of death, so what is he looking for? He fidgeted with his pen, writing down L's request on a piece of paper to give himself a reason for his silence. Looking at it backward, he must have figured out I can control the time of death, but he wants to make sure before using that lead that I'm not getting up late at night to kill someone I would know of without research and going back to sleep to create an alibi for myself. Maybe? I don't know...
Soichiro cleared his throat to regain everyone's attention that had wandered. "All right. Two teams on the night shift. Everyone else, continue with the investigation or go home and get some sleep, as you wish. Meeting's over."
Aizawa cringed. The night shift would be brutal... but he had taken the night shift before for big cases like this. Nobody would be suspicious. He couldn't get away with it as often as he would like to avoid Eriko's ire, but often enough when he had higher priority cases... Besides, overtime paid more. With the baby on the way, putting in overtime was only natural.
Very few others shared that sentiment, hurrying out quickly to return to their families before they were required to stay. Soichiro was about to leave for the night as well, but he stopped in the doorway as he took note of the people who had stayed behind. He sighed. "All of you are over on your hours already."
Ukita shrugged, "Yeah, well, it can't be helped," he said, trying and failing to stave back a loud yawn. "Someone needs to work the night shift." There were nods of agreement all around. Mogi kept his head down but seemed to agree with the others and just didn't want to speak more than necessary.
Aizawa smiled warmly, "Don't worry about it, guys. You should go home and see your families," he gestured toward the papers in front of him, "I'll stay here and finish up with what L asked for."
Aizawa could feel Soichiro's gaze fall heavy on him, and he did everything he could to avoid eye contact. "Aizawa," Soichiro said sternly, "You're over on your hours, too."
"It's fine," Aizawa said, "I was going to stay late to finish what I was working on anyway," he didn't bother to fake a smile. Soichiro would never fall for that like others, so he had to appeal to his logical side. "Someone needs to do it, and I don't want everyone else overworking themselves."
Soichiro grimaced, torn between the need for workers and knowing the ones who volunteered shouldn't be pulling another all-nighter. Soichiro had done the night shift yesterday, and that was the reason he was going home tonight. He knew his own limits and the limits of his officers. "Fine," he turned towards the door, leaving it open for others to follow after him, "Goodnight, everyone."
Matsuda's eyes widened as he watched Soichiro leave, clumsily grabbing his bag from under his chair and chasing after him, "Ah! Wait, Chief!"
Ukita frowned, leaning against the table and looking over at Aizawa's organized documents. "Are you sure you'll be okay alone?"
"I'll be fine, Ukita," Aizawa assured him. His pen ran dry, and he scribbled on an empty sheet of paper until the ink returned. "I work better when it's quiet anyway. If anything, I should start taking the night shift more."
Ukita's brows pinched together in worry, contracted by the bags forming under his eyes, "What about your wife? Won't she kill you if you're not home...?"
"Ukita," Aizawa rested his hand on Ukita's shoulder, "You're exhausted. Get some coffee so you can drive home, and go to bed. Mogi?" Mogi hummed in acknowledgment at the sound of his voice. "Can you make sure Ukita makes it to his car?"
Mogi nodded curtly, offering his hand for Ukita to take and help him to his feet. Ukita waved his hand nonchalantly, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of the interior pocket of his suit jacket, "Thanks, Mogi."
Aizawa waved after them as they left, "Goodnight," he knew nobody would hear him, as he was left perfectly alone in the office, with nothing but Ryuk and the humming of monitors for company.
Ryuk laughed as they were enveloped in silence, "Working late again? What's the occasion?"
"I need a distraction..." Aizawa muttered, his calm facade slipping and giving way to how drained he truly was. There were no cameras in this room. Nothing of value was ever held in this room specifically, so the security in the hallway was all the surveillance they would need. He glanced toward the corner of the room where the computers and the occasional laptop were stored. Since he was alone...
He picked up one of the discarded laptops, finding the one with a decent amount of charge and bringing it back over to his desk, and that was when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "What made you think you would be alone?"
A smile formed on Aizawa's face, turning his body to better address his partner. Ide rested down a tray of leftover food from the break room and two coffee cups, passing Aizawa a warm brown blanket from the storage room, "You don't need to stay up with me," he said, gratefully taking the cup meant for him. He didn't flinch as the hot liquid burned his tongue.
"I know," Ide said, but he didn't seem bothered by that, taking a seat next to Aizawa. "But what else am I doing this weekend?"
Aizawa shrugged, "I don't know. You could probably do the same thing you always do when you get time off and sit in bed with a good book. Or a terrible one if Dr. Yoneda has churned out some content you want to tear apart." Ide cringed at the reminder, "Or you could go clubbing," Aizawa offered instead, "Maybe hit the dating scene?"
Ide rolled his eyes. "Haha, very funny," he muttered sarcastically before devolving into genuine laughter, and Aizawa couldn't help but join in, their shared laughter bouncing off the walls and replacing the silence.
For a moment, Aizawa could forget everything on his mind. The world could fade away into nothing, and he was left only Ide by his side, just like in better days, when he could convince himself everything would be okay.
But like all perfect things, the moment had to end, returning them back to their present, and Ide's laughter subsided, his eyes wandering down to Aizawa's hands and lingering there. Aizawa hesitated, draping the blanket over his shoulders to save himself from the winter chill, "Is something wrong?"
Ide didn't say a word, his eyes moving from Aizawa's hands, paler than they should be, and as Aizawa looked down, he realized they were shaking. Oh... He hastily opened the laptop, typing in the password to log onto his account, and begin searching for what L had asked.
"Shuichi..."
Aizawa's movements slowly came to a stop against the keys. "Hm?" He dared to turn his head towards Ide, and what he found made his breath hitch. That pain in Ide's eyes...
Ide gasped softly as his eyes met Aizawa's. Aizawa couldn't be sure what he saw. Maybe he was seeing the agony hidden behind his eyes that had so thoroughly drained him. All he could say was that whatever Ide saw, it terrified him.
"We've known each other for a long time. I can tell exactly what you're thinking about and what's bothering you," Ide brushed away one of the papers on the desk, leaning closer to Aizawa. "Between you and me, I don't trust L. I never did, to be honest. I didn't sign up to join the case because of who was running it or the case being high profile. I joined because I wanted to work with you, and I knew this case was on your mind," his hand inched closer to Aizawa's, so close to touching him yet not close enough, "You can count on me. You know that, right?"
"Hideki..." he looked down at Ide's hand, so close to his, extending to reach him. "I..." he sharply pulled his hand away, turning back to his computer and blankly staring at the blinding screen. Ryuk's eyes burned into his back, making his breathing quicken. "Of course I know that. I trust you. I trust you more than anyone..."
Ide's jaw set, leaning even closer, forcing Aizawa to meet his eyes, "Then why won't you tell me what has been going on with you?" He pressed, fear and frustration mixing until Aizawa couldn't pretend to ignore him any longer, "Do you think I haven't noticed? I haven't said anything since we joined the case because saying you've been acting differently with the so-called world's greatest detective around is a great way for him to begin suspecting you. But there is something going on, and it is killing you." He gestured up and down Aizawa's body, "Are you sick? Have things gotten worse at home?"
"No! No..." The pain in his chest was building, making his heart pound so intensely that it made his head spin, Ide's concerns bringing back everything he had been trying desperately to push to the side. "Ide—" Aizawa sighed, "Yes. Things have been getting worse at home. There have been days I thought I was going to die..." he shook himself. "You shouldn't have to worry about that."
"No, your safety in that house is something I should worry about," Ide insisted. He made unwavering eye contact with Aizawa. "But there is something else going on. Don't even think about lying. I know you too well."
Aizawa stared silently back at Ide, that earnestness and desperation becoming even more apparent. What would happen if he told Ide the truth? Could he bear the possibility he would see their years of friendship vanish before his eyes? Risk seeing the moment Ide realized a day would come when they could be against one another? No... he would rather die than see that happen.
"No one can help me..." Aizawa whispered, but something broke in his voice. He should be able to tell Ide everything. He wanted to tell Ide everything. Why did this path mean he had to lie?! Why did he have to sacrifice everything that had made his life bearable? He clenched his fists in his lap. "Why should I make that your problem?"
He didn't know what possessed him to do it, prying his eyes away from Ide and forcing himself to type in one of the names of his victims. He didn't know which one. He didn't care which one. He typed in the name in a desperate attempt to get back to work, but what he found...
"Grief centers offer counseling for families impacted by Kira murders..."
Aizawa broke down sobbing, everything he had been holding in erupting out all at once in a tortured scream he barely suppressed by his hand flying over his mouth. I'm a monster... I'm a monster...!
Ide's eyes widened, Aizawa so suddenly breaking down catching him off guard but doing nothing to deter him from being by Aizawa's side, pulling him into his arms and wrapping the blanket tighter around him, "Hey... Hey..."
"Oh god..." Words tumbled out of Aizawa's mouth without any regard for what he was saying, weakly resting his hand against Ide's chest, "I'm a monster. I deserve to die..."
Ryuk chuckled, sitting on the nearby table and watching with petrifying intensity. "I was wondering when this would happen. The terror and torment experienced by those who use the Death Note has taken many humans before you, Shuichi..."
Ide rested his hand on the back of Aizawa's head, keeping his voice low. Questions and fears swirled through Ide's mind, trying and failing over and over to figure out what was wrong. "You don't need to be afraid to tell me what's wrong," he whispered. He pulled away from Aizawa, making sure their eyes met, "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't say anything unnecessary to the others. I'm your partner, no matter what."
"And I..." Aizawa didn't know what he was saying, staring into the eyes of his best friend. Something had changed in Ide, pieces slowly falling into place and realization dawning on him. Some part of him had learned the truth long before Aizawa managed to speak, his voice nothing more than a broken whisper. "I'm Kira."
Chapter Text
The sound of a ticking clock echoed through the eerie stillness of the investigation room, interrupted only by the occasional monitor that hummed to life to cut through the silence. Neither Aizawa nor Ide could so much as breathe, eyes never leaving one another, waiting with growing trepidation to see what the other would do.
Aizawa couldn't be sure how much time had passed since his confession. He hadn't been aware of most of it. Ide had patiently waited until he was stable enough to recognize the gravity of what he had confessed, and remained in otherwise silence, carefully watching Aizawa's every move. Making sure he wasn't going to attempt harming himself, seemingly...
But Ide hadn't given himself time to react to what he had been told. Not yet, not until he could see in Aizawa's eyes that he wouldn't do anything to himself. Aizawa could see the exact moment Ide became sure enough of that that the truth began to sink in, and his eyes widened as concern morphed into horror.
"What...? What the hell, Shuichi?!" He had taken to leaning against Soichiro's desk across from Aizawa minutes ago, making it easy for him to stand up straight and begin pacing around the room, his footsteps soft yet hurried to avoid drawing any unnecessary attention from anyone who may be wandering the halls. His voice went up an octave as he tried to keep his voice low despite panic making him shake. "What the hell were you thinking?! What are you doing?!"
Aizawa grimaced, keeping his head low. He had been afraid this would happen. "I know, this is bad..."
Ide ran his hand through his hair, usually neat but within seconds had become extremely messy, some of his hair falling in his face enough to hinder Aizawa's ability to see his eyes. "How did you—Help me to understand," he gestured vaguely towards Aizawa, urging him to speak, "What possessed you to do this?!"
What can I even say...? The easiest defense for himself would be to lean into the horrible tales of Shinigami that had many considering them less so gods and more evil spirits. Ide had always been passive in his religion, but if Aizawa were to say he had simply been cursed, he knew Ide would be more inclined to believe that than the truth.
But he could never take advantage of anyone's religious beliefs like that, especially not Ide's. He had broken under the pressure and confessed the truth to Ide... he had to forget everything about what this could mean and remain as honest as possible. Ide was owed that.
Aizawa kept his eyes low, trained on the ground just in front of Ide. "I can't deal with this anymore..."
Ide paused his restless pacing, his demeanor softening as he took in his partner's mounting anxiety. "Do you mean your marriage?" His eyes hardened again, leaning forward with his hand against the desk. "There is no good way for me to say this, but if you have the power to psychically kill people, there are many ways you could have fixed your problem that wouldn't turn you into a serial killer!"
"That's not what I can't deal with." He gripped tightly onto his pants, his eyes flitting off to the side towards Ryuk. The Shinigami remained as still as a statue, his stare intense as he observed the exchange. "Gaining this power... I've been able to do more for the world in the past ten days than in the fifteen years we've worked here." Gaining a bit more confidence, he struggled to his feet. "I can't deal with being trapped and limited in what I can do to help others, all because of corrupt people in power preying on or ignoring those in need. Nothing will change without drastic action, and if I have the power to do something, even if it means risking my life and becoming a monster, what else am I supposed to do?" He clenched his fist at his side. "There were ways I could free myself without turning to this, but what would my freedom be worth if I did nothing to save others in the same situation as mine or worse?"
Ide took in Aizawa's explanation, eyeing him with quiet contemplation as countless thoughts swirled through his mind. The moment seemed to last a lifetime between them, the anticipation of what was to come dragging out the long, painful seconds.
But all silences were broken eventually, as Ide's was with a pained sigh, slumping into his seat and holding the handle of his coffee cup in a death grip that turned his already pale knuckles white. "Do you realize the impossible position you put me in by admitting this?"
Aizawa exhaled softly, sitting down beside him, attempting to reach his hand toward him. "I'm sorry, Ide, I don't know what—"
"Because now I have to help you."
Aizawa froze. He blinked twice, scanning Ide's face to make sure he had heard that correctly. He hadn't allowed himself to consider what would come after his confession, but never did he imagine... "What?" His eyes widened as he took in those words again. "No! No—Ide, you don't have to do anything."
Ide shut his eyes tightly. He couldn't believe what he was saying any more than Aizawa could. "No... I can't stay on the sidelines knowing you are responsible for all of this, and if you are caught, you will be executed." He turned, opening his eyes and staring directly into Aizawa's very being, "Nothing can make me agree with what you are doing, but I would never forgive myself if you died because I left you alone."
"I already made a contingency plan to avoid being executed or found out," Aizawa offered hesitantly. "You don't need to worry about that."
"Do you make it out of that contingency plan alive?"
Aizawa didn't have an answer.
Ide groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in disbelief. "You're just proving my point that you've lost your damn mind. How did you even...?" He shook himself. "Never mind. Questions like that come with a more thorough discussion later when we're not in the NPA headquarters." He turned his chair fully, setting his coffee to the side as he leaned forward. "If I am going to help you, I have conditions."
"I... figured," Aizawa chuckled awkwardly, glancing anywhere that wasn't Ide. His body was still shaking. "You have a confession from me. That's all you need to make an arrest..."
"And you're lucky I was the one who stayed with you tonight and not someone else who would have no qualms with turning you in," Ide said. He sighed, looking over Aizawa again, "You still have a conscience, so you should have no problems upholding my first condition." He held up one finger, "My first condition is that you will maintain your morality. No killing innocent people, no power trips for world domination. There will be none of that shit."
Aizawa's eyes remained focused on Ide's finger. "Sounds pretty reasonable," he looked back up to Ide's face, "And what's your second condition?"
"When you are done with what you are searching for, you are done with all of this. Forever." Ide suddenly hesitated as something else dawned on him. "Will relinquishing your power kill you? Do you need to use this power to live?"
Aizawa grimaced. "Not exactly?" At Ide's perplexed expression, he sighed. "My plan was to stop using this power once I was done. Actually renouncing it is a bit more complicated," he nodded to himself, "We'll figure something out," he managed a small smile, meeting Ide's eyes, "Yeah... We'll figure something out."
Ryuk eagerly looked between Aizawa and Ide before letting out a mad cackle. "That went way better than I expected!" He pointed to Aizawa to make sure Aizawa understood he was being spoken to, "Does that mean I get someone else to talk to?"
Aizawa didn't acknowledge him, laughing with sheer relief as, for the first time since this all began, a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders. Ide... Ide was willing to help him! However reluctantly, Ide managed to accept this. That did nothing to erase the gravity of what Aizawa had done, but if Ide was willing to stand by his side despite this, he must not have lost his mind. There had to be some good in what he was doing.
He would return the favor in any way he could. He would protect Ide even with his own life. No matter what, nobody would find out Ide was his partner in this.
He jumped forward, pulling Ide into an embrace. That wall between them disappeared, returning the safety he had always felt with Ide before. "Thank you... Thank you, Ide..."
Ide paused, looking down at Aizawa, before returning the embrace with a soft chuckle. "Don't thank me yet. The shock hasn't dissipated, and I am already on the brink of checking you in to the psych ward."
"That's fair."
OoOoO
Finally... Finally, he could be home for his family... Soichiro nursed the coffee he had purchased for himself on his way home, his eyelids too heavy and his mind in too much of a daze to continue on without it. The darkness of frigid, overcast skies had only made everything worse, his body fighting harder to lull him into the dreamless sleep he so desperately needed. Even so, he wanted to be awake. He had missed Christmas yesterday with his family. He had to be home and awake tonight.
He hadn't fully processed ringing the doorbell, so he was surprised when the door opened, and he found Sachiko on the other end, her face glowing with excitement as she pulled him into an embrace. "Welcome home, dear."
Soichiro smiled warmly, resting his head in the crook of her neck. She was warm, and her voice was music to his weary ears. "I've missed you..."
Sachiko chuckled fondly, resting her hand on the back of his head. "You look exhausted... Do you need anything?"
"I'm alright," Soichiro whispered. He leaned to the side to look past Sachiko and into the kitchen, "Though since you asked... I would love some of whatever you're making."
Sachiko rolled her eyes, turning towards the stairs to call to their children, when she was interrupted by the loud voices of those very same children.
"Hey!" Light called, "At least solve the last problem by yourself!"
Soichiro laughed as he heard the familiar footsteps of Sayu picking up the pace as she ran down the hall as fast as she could before she could be dragged back to finish her homework. "After dinner, okay?"
Light's footsteps echoed alongside his sister's and the sound of his door closing behind him. "I'm going to keep badgering you all of winter break!"
Sayu beat Light down the stairs, taking them two at a time and jumping into Soichiro's arms. "Hi, Daddy!"
Soichiro winced from the pain in his lower back but hugged her anyway before setting her down. Sayu ran into the kitchen to help her mother finish dinner, giving Soichiro the chance to bend down and take off his shoes.
He heard Light's voice behind him. "Welcome home, Dad."
Soichiro heaved a sigh, exhaustion beginning to set in again the moment his shoes were off. "Thanks. Finally..." he glanced over his shoulder, seeing his son standing on the final step and looking down at him. A sparkle in his cinnamon-colored eyes made Soichiro more than aware of what Light wanted.
Light was usually tactful in conveying his expectations, but he didn't seem inclined to be nearly as patient as he would normally be, offering out his hand to Soichiro to help him to his feet. "Did anything interesting happen on the case today?"
Soichiro couldn't help but smile, watching Light's small movements and growing eagerness. He had never seen Light as captivated and excited as he was by the Kira case. From the moment the killings began, those rare moments Soichiro had a chance to be home had sparked some kind of change in Light. He was more... lively. And in his voice was the unspoken threat that if he wasn't told, he would find out somewhere else outside of Soichiro's careful watch.
He should be glad. Light had made no secret of his plans to follow in his footsteps, so Light's intrigue in cases and justice should make any father proud, but for Soichiro, that realization only brought him torment. A case like this was the first thing to spark any life in Light's eyes in as long as he could remember.
He had always known Light struggled to find any challenge in a world that could provide him with none. He had never been able to shake the feeling for the longest time that Light was going through the motions. But the full scope of the nightmare Soichiro was dealing with, the lack of motivation and the apathy that had existed in his son for so many years, had never sunk in until this case had come around to interest Light.
What if this case had never come about? Would Soichiro have ever known something was so seriously wrong? How bad had the situation become if a case of this magnitude was the only thing to bring his son back to life?
Soichiro rubbed under his eyes. He needed to have that talk with Light and confirm his worst fears about what was going on in his son's head... but how could he go about it without coming off wrong? He shouldn't be considering those things when he was too exhausted to properly handle them, but what other choice did he have?
"No. Unfortunately, nothing much gets done around the holidays..." He urged Light towards the kitchen, "Come on. We don't want to be late for dinner."
Making his way into the kitchen and sitting down with a warm meal in front of him, Soichiro could feel his mind slowly beginning to properly compartmentalize his emotions and allow his work stress to subside for the time being. He welcomed the silence in his own thoughts, as it gave him the chance to eat a home-cooked meal with his family in peace.
But that peace of mind couldn't last long, as putting his role as the NPA Superintendent to the side brought his role as a worried father to the forefront. "Today was your last day of school before winter break, right, Light?"
Light absently looked up from his food. "Hm? Oh, yeah."
"Would you say this semester went well?"
Sayu rolled her eyes. "Dad, do you even have to ask?" she grinned towards Light, "Top of the class as usual. You can count on Light!"
"Yes, we can all count on Light," Sachiko echoed, but the cheer in her voice didn't touch her eyes. She looked across the table at Light with worry etched into her pretty features. "Nobody has been bothering you in school?"
Light's brows pinched together slightly. "Don't worry about me, Mom. I've done everything you taught me." He took another bite of his food, "Why are you even asking me? You know nobody bothers me in school."
Sachiko smiled pridefully, causing Soichiro to smile as well. She always taught the children how to manipulate social situations in their favor and protect themselves from harm. Her methods had more than once become something Soichiro had many opinions on, but as no harm had ever come to their children, he had no reason to comment.
"And what about you, Sayu?" Soichiro asked.
"Who, me?" Sayu rubbed the back of her neck, "Are you... sure you want to know? I guess it's... same as usual for me, too."
Soichiro nodded pensively. Same as usual... Sayu may not have the best grades, but she was happy, and nobody was bothering her. Sachiko could handle matters concerning Sayu's education and getting her grades up. As for Soichiro... he needed to figure out what to do about Light.
Light picked up on his turmoil, and Soichiro noticed that intrigue sparking up again. "You seem tired, Dad."
He was probing for more information on the Kira case... Soichiro needed to play his cards carefully. "Well... this case is a hard one, to put it mildly. It's practically a wild goose chase. The person in charge of the investigation has been holding all of his cards close, but... given what he has been asking about, it seems he is building a profile on our culprit we will be able to use going forward," he groaned, taking another bite of his food. "I don't believe I need to explain to either of you why your peers making constant calls claiming to be the culprit is only hindering our investigation and wasting resources."
Sayu cringed. "I thought people were joking that they were going to do that," she covered her face to conceal the agony brought on by second-hand embarrassment. "Oh god, that's embarrassing..."
Light set his jaw with obvious disdain. "Do you think there's any merit in those calls?" He picked at his food absently, his gaze never once leaving Soichiro. "Personally, the way the killings are being done and what kinds of people are being targeted makes me highly doubt the culprit is a student. I understand those calls can't be dismissed altogether, but it shouldn't be difficult to put fewer resources into those types of calls or penalize anyone who makes false reports for attention, right?"
"As much as I wish it could be that simple, there are too many factors behind the scenes for that to be a reliable method of prevention," Soichiro explained. "We just have to wait until the public's attention is redirected somewhere else," he took a drink from his coffee, "But I agree with you, Light, about the culprit not being a student."
Sachiko frowned subtly, "I really don't think this is a subject for the dinner table..." She eyed him carefully, wordlessly asking what he was doing, but Soichiro could see the intrigue almost identical to Light's own in her eyes. She simply wasn't saying it.
Really, Sachiko? Soichiro smiled teasingly. "Why not? We've had cases before where ideas from Light helped us move the investigation forward. Besides, you know he is interested in this one." He made sure in his eyes to convey a message she could understand, squeezing her hand under the table. Don't worry, Sachiko. I'll talk to him.
Sachiko squeezed his hand back. "That is true, but, Light," she turned back to Light, employing a different strategy in case Soichiro's failed, "Until there is more information in the investigation for you to use against the culprit, you should find something else to focus on. The entrance exams are in a few weeks, but if you need a break from studying, we can help you find something else. Maybe a new game? You used to like those."
Light's eyes wandered down to his food. "I'll think about it..." he stood up stiffly, clearing his place, "I'm done," he headed towards the door, only stopping to regard his sister, "Sayu, was that all the help you needed?"
Given Sayu's astonished expression, she had no idea they had heard the interaction earlier, so Soichiro decided to play along, "Was Light helping you with your homework again, Sayu?"
Sayu laughed good-naturedly, "Gee, Light, thanks for blabbing!"
Light was halfway out the door before he paused, his face partially concealed by shadows. "Oh, and Mom... I'll clean up my room myself, so don't come inside."
Sachiko's brows furrowed. "You know I never clean your room. You've been doing it yourself since starting high school." Light nodded curtly and left moments later.
Sayu smiled while she continued eating. "You know, Light's starting to act like a real teenager."
"I know..." Soichiro listened for Light's footsteps going up the stairs. "That's what I'm worried about." He looked over to Sayu, noticing her finish the last of her food, "Clear your place before going to your room," he kissed Sachiko's cheek, "I'm going to go talk to Light."
"Huh?" Sayu asked worriedly, "Is Light in trouble for helping me with my homework?"
"Not at all," he was quick to assure her, "It's just that with the entrance exams coming up, we need to have some discussions about his future." He slowly got up from the table and cleared his place, making sure the dark spots faded from his vision before he tried to move through the doorway and to the stairs. "Thank you for dinner, Sachiko." He headed up the stairs, holding onto the railing for support. Everything in him was screaming to rest, but he couldn't do that just yet. He needed to talk to his son.
He knocked hastily on Light's door, reaching to open it, but he froze as he realized the doorknob had no give. Locked...? "Light?"
"Just a second." Soichiro heard something on the other side, and only a few seconds later, Light opened the door. "Yeah, Dad?"
Soichiro opened his mouth to speak, and then he paused. How should he go about this? He blinked when he noticed Light's computer was still on behind him. "What were you looking at?"
Light turned around towards the computer, "Oh, nothing. Some of my classmates talked about studying for the entrance exams using resources online, so I wanted to check it out," he gestured for Soichiro to come inside, tilting his computer enough to show him a couple of opened websites. "I'll probably finish studying the old-fashioned way."
"Hm..." Soichiro examined the computer screen, and almost immediately, he noticed something he knew he wouldn't have if he wasn't already on high alert. "And what about the other window you have open?"
Instead of being caught off guard by his observation, a shadow of a smirk crossed Light's face. "So that's what you want to talk about." He clicked the second window, and what that simple action revealed...
Was an incomplete profile on Kira.
Light smiled as he took in Soichiro's shock, "I wasn't planning to show you this until I finished, but since the investigation hasn't had any leads so far into Kira, I thought I would use the information I have access to, and come to my own conclusions," he said. He scrolled through his profile for Soichiro to see. "Of course, as much as I dislike the theory, I couldn't completely eliminate the possibility of there being something supernatural at play. Still, working under the assumption Kira is human, my deductions are leaning towards Kira definitely being an adult and having something to gain from this. Nobody would commit so many murders without some kind of reason, but there is something specific Kira is looking for that he sees committing these murders as a means of achieving. Figuring out the specifics of Kira's motive has been where I focused most of my attention so far."
Soichiro leaned against the desk to support himself as he read through Light's research. He recognized a lot of the profile as lining up with the NPA's investigation almost disturbingly well. However, unlike the NPA's investigation, Light had researched heavily into the lost generation that resulted from the recession, and Kira had undoubtedly been impacted by it. His eyes widened the longer he read, as Light's theory continued that if the recession was related to Kira's motive, that meant Kira was likely somewhere in the age range of 18-36.
"So, what do you think?"
Soichiro was pulled away from reading by Light's voice, but he could only stare in amazement at the documents in front of him. "Light... this is—"
"There isn't much to go off of, so I could be completely wrong," Light admitted, glancing down at his computer to read through the documents himself, "But I have to say, I've learned more about the world from my research into Kira than I ever had before..."
Matsuda had admitted something similar, hadn't he? Even after the young man had chased after him to apologize for what he said, there was no denying the truth. Kira was leading to more awareness and a gradually reduced crime rate, namely white-collar crime. As much as he hated to admit it, that was something good Kira was doing, but his methods were something Soichiro could never forgive.
But there was one thing that Soichiro hadn't been able to shake from the back of his head. What horrible things had Kira experienced to believe this was the only way? What horrible things were happening in this world for Kira to be getting results?
Light hesitated as his comment was met with silence, "Dad?"
"Hm? Oh, sorry," Soichiro straightened, reaching for Light's computer to look over the documents a second time, "This is incredible, Light. If you don't mind sending this over to me, we can run this by L and use this as a basis for our investigation."
Light grinned. "How about you just let me join the investigation so I can run this by L myself?"
I was wondering when he would ask me... Light's ideal scenario had most likely been to show him this, and Soichiro would offer himself. He would get what he wanted without ever needing to express his desires. But if that wasn't going to happen, Light would have no choice but to ask directly.
Soichiro sighed. If Light was trying to manipulate the conversation in his favor, then Soichiro could use this to his advantage as a transition into what he really wanted to talk about. "Light... Your work is remarkable and will be credited, but I can't let you be part of this investigation."
"What? Why not?" Light asked, his eyes flickering with genuine shock, "You've let me be part of investigations before."
"And if this was any other investigation, I would have no problem allowing you to assist us as a consultant," Soichiro said, "But this case is different. You know that as well as I do," he gestured to the computer. "We may be able to narrow down certain factors about Kira, but we don't have enough information about Kira to determine if he is willing to kill those working to catch him. I could never live with myself if you got hurt because you were part of this."
Light gritted his teeth, cracks in his calm demeanor beginning to show as agitation finally revealed itself, "I don't care about that!"
"How can you say that?" Light's eyes widened. Soichiro had to take a deep breath to calm his nerves and to grimly come to terms with the conversation he had never imagined in his nightmares. "Light... There is something you haven't told me. What is the real reason you are so interested in this?"
Light fell quiet, his bangs curtaining off his eyes as he looked down at the ground. Soichiro couldn't shake the unease with Light's silence. Light had always been a quiet boy, perfectly content with his own thoughts, but this... felt different, unnerving, only becoming more so when Light walked past him and sat down on his bed.
What he eventually said made Soichiro's blood run cold.
"I don't feel anything anymore."
"What?" Soichiro rushed over to Light's side. He wasn't sure he could breathe as he looked Light over, frantically searching for anything that could explain his son's words. "What—What do you mean, son?"
"I don't feel anything." Light leaned forward with his head in his hands, and his voice became frighteningly monotone. "Day in and day out, it's the same things on permanent repeat. I've tried to break the cycle and find something, but nothing worked. I'm sick of the world and everything in it. Even the simple act of doing things is excruciating."
Hell. Oh, hell. Soichiro had feared what he would learn when he talked to Light, but this was... How had he missed this? Horror set in the longer he was left staring at Light and the terrifying emptiness in his eyes, and he was left kicking himself for his ignorance. Soichiro was a detective. How had he missed this in his own son?!
"What about the sports you used to play?" He offered hopelessly, "You liked those, so maybe you could try to give yourself something to do? I can't imagine only focusing on your studies would help matters."
Light chuckled hollowly while shaking his head. "No... I didn't quit sports to focus on my studies. That was just the easiest excuse. I quit because I was bored." A hint of melancholy found its way into Light's voice, and despite that evident pain, Soichiro could only be relieved for any emotion to be there at all. "Tennis was entertaining at first, and fencing was before that, but what's the point if there's no one challenging enough to play against? Like with everything else, I was just going through the motions."
Soichiro rubbed Light's back in a desperate attempt to comfort him. Each trace of pain from his son made Soichiro's heart clench. How did he let this happen to his son? "Did the Kira case change something?" It must have. That was the only explanation for all of this.
Light nodded. "Yeah. There has never been a case like this before. The culprit can kill from a distance and doesn't leave any evidence... it's the perfect challenge for me," that spark of life returned to his eyes, "More than that, it reminds me that I'm alive," he looked down at his hands, and a smile slowly returned to his face, "I'm alive... and knowing there are people out there willing to fight for justice gives me some hope for this world."
Soichiro silently listened, pondering what he was being told. "I see..."
Light blinked, straightening as though realizing everything he had just said. Maybe Soichiro was tired, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Light knew exactly what he said, and any action otherwise was some kind of performance. But why? "I don't know how to explain without sounding insane. I don't get excited by people dying, really, I don't..." Light sighed, "Sorry for bringing it up. You shouldn't have to worry about this when you have so much else going on."
"No, Light," he pulled Light close, letting Light's head rest against his shoulder. "I'm glad you're talking to me about this. I am the one who should be sorry that it took people dying for us to have this conversation. Just... promise me you won't do anything reckless. This case may be exciting for you, but that doesn't mean I will allow you to run into danger."
Light nodded, shifting to hug him. "Yeah... thanks, Dad."
Soichiro wanted to be relieved as he returned the hug with his son, but he could feel it... that Light had crossed his fingers.
Not just that. There was something else nagging in the back of Soichiro's head. Something else he needed to address. Why was Light telling him this? Why now? Did he truly feel that hopeless to the point of putting his pride aside for any chance of reprieve, or was it not hopelessness at all? Rather, a calculated exposure of his struggles with the expectation he would be given what he wanted due to the desperation of others?
Soichiro sighed softly, wishing with all his heart that this case would end soon and he would have more time to focus on his son, who so clearly needed him. To do that, he needed to catch Kira.
Kira... I don't know who you are or what you have experienced, but please answer me this. What are you looking for?
OoOoO
L took in another deep breath during his meditation, his eyes closed as he pictured the case in his mind's eye. More time had passed, and nothing happened to Lind L. Tailor, and at this point, L highly doubted anything would happen. Kira had not taken the bait in any way. Kira had given him a useful hint about his personality, but L wanted to back it up with further evidence before he was satisfied. If Kira had confirmed his existence in that broadcast, everything would have been easier. However, with Kira's existence technically unconfirmed, he would need to be very careful with everything he revealed to the police.
As it stood, what information did he possess? He would need the police to confirm the last thing he needed to be certain, but he suspected that the search would be fruitless. He knew what Kira was trying to say: that he was free to set the time of death as he pleased, so anything from routine to timezone would be useless information.
That may be a clue to the mechanisms by which Kira committed his murders, but in his search for the perpetrator, he couldn't use the time of death. That meant he had to use another method to narrow down Kira's identity. Kira didn't behave as though he possessed police information, but nothing so far had disproved the notion he did. He could be so passive because of that security.
If there was even a chance of such a fatal risk to their investigation, L had to do something about it. He had to be sure nobody in the police force either was Kira or was knowingly or unknowingly leaking information to Kira. Knowing that would give him more to work with than the time of death ever could
He clicked the button on his computer to connect him to Watari. "Watari, it's me. Are you alone?"
Watari responded only a moment later. "Yes, I am alone. What is it?"
"Link me up to the Director of the FBI."
Chapter Text
"Hideki?" Aizawa pulled his long jacket tighter around himself as he followed Ide up the multiple flights of stairs. The soft sounds of rainfall against the pavement gave him a moment's reprieve from the suffocating sensation of being watched in every direction. He glanced anxiously behind him nonetheless, where the only eyes watching him through the rain was that of Ryuk. "You've been quiet today..."
Ide didn't say anything, nor did Aizawa truly expect him to. The shock of Aizawa's confession had faded during the night, and by the time morning came the next day, Ide was left with nothing but the cold truth of what he had agreed to and how everything they had known of each other for over a decade had been thrown on its head. He told their coworkers he was exhausted to explain his silence, but besides telling Aizawa to come back to his apartment with him tonight, he had only spoken enough not to arouse any suspicion from L.
He understood why Ide wanted to speak with him alone. He had made his reasons clear enough when he had agreed to work alongside him in his mission, so Aizawa wasn't surprised that Ide's breathing had become increasingly stiff. He harshly shoved his key into the keyhole, opening the door and leaving it open for Aizawa to follow after him.
Ryuk leaned in through the doorway to look inside the dark apartment, contorting his massive body to fit inside, "So this is how other humans live," he chuckled as Aizawa closed the door behind him with a soft 'click,' pressing against the door firmly to ensure everything was latched before he locked it. "Come on, aren't you gonna show me around?"
There wasn't much to show around beyond what Ryuk could see by wandering inside. The apartment was comfortable for one person living alone. A small kitchen blended into the living area, housing little more than a couch, an armchair, and a television off to the side covered by a white bedsheet. There were three doors besides the entrance, concealing the bedroom, the library, and the bathroom. However, none of those were places Aizawa had any interest in allowing Ryuk to be.
A heavy book lay on the side table between the couch and the armchair. Aizawa reached to pick it up and curiously flipped through the pages, careful to avoid disturbing the numerous bookmarks that Ide had scattered throughout. "You're reading about folklore?"
"Given the abilities Kira was shown to have, that was the most reasonable lead to follow," Ide replied. He poured some alcohol into a cup of coffee he made for himself. "What was your excuse to stay here tonight?"
"Nothing, really," Aizawa said. He shrugged off his winter jacket and set it on the coat rack, double-checking to make sure his shoes were orderly by the door. "She knows I am working on the case all night and through the rest of the weekend again. That isn't technically a lie. And Kamiko invited Yumi over for the weekend, so I don't need to worry about her." He shot a glare to where Ryuk was trying to see what was under the bedsheet, "You deserve an explanation..."
"Yes, I believe I do," Ide stepped out from behind the counter, revealing he had made a cup of coffee for Aizawa as well. He passed the cup to Aizawa and moved behind him to close the curtains overlooking the city coming alive at night. "I have an understanding of what drove you to become Kira, but that doesn't explain how you obtained this power in the first place."
Aizawa opened his mouth to begin explaining, but one glance over to the Shinigami accompanying him made his words die in his throat. "It would be better if I just showed you," he dug into his pocket, pulling out the wallet housing a page of the Death Note he kept on him for emergencies. "Touch this, and you should understand."
Ide's eyes narrowed skeptically towards the paper in Aizawa's hand, "A piece of notebook paper?" He reached out to take the paper from Aizawa before hesitation made him pull his hand back. "Is it cursed?"
"Not exactly...?" It came out sounding more like a question than Aizawa had intended. "This is one of those things that needs to be seen to be believed, and this notebook is the way for you to see the same things I do."
Ide's frown deepened, eyeing the paper with growing suspicion before exhaling sharply. "Fine. Hand it over to me." Aizawa passed the paper over to him, and the paper hummed as it brushed against Ide's skin. Ide gasped softly from the sensation, looking up to examine the room for any changes. His eyes flew open as his gaze fell upon Ryuk for the first time, "What the—!?"
Ryuk waved casually, "Hey. Do you have any apples?"
Ide staggered backward, his hand recoiling from the paper and reaching for his gun. Aizawa practically lunged to stop him, "Don't worry about him. He's a freaky-looking thing, but he's mostly harmless," he turned back to Ryuk, "We should probably have some introductions. Hideki, this is Ryuk, the Shinigami I am bonded with. Ryuk, you already know Hideki."
Ryuk nodded, "He didn't answer my question about having any apples," he walked over to the fridge and opened it in search of food. "Seriously? All you have are mikan?" He took one of the citrus pieces out of the fridge, his face contorting in displeasure as he took a bite, but he continued eating nonetheless. "Apples are way better than this."
Ide stared in disbelief at the Shinigami shamelessly raiding his fridge. "You're a Shinigami?" he gave up on getting any answer out of Ryuk while he was eating, instead glancing cautiously over at Aizawa. "You said that you are bonded to the Shinigami. What exactly does that entail? Does he have ownership of your soul?"
"No," Aizawa assured him. He crossed his arms and looked over to Ryuk, checking the cabinets for any signs of apples. "Knock it off, Ryuk. Ide doesn't keep apples," he brightened slightly as he got an idea. "There's an apple orchard not far from here. I'll tell you where it is if you help me explain this to Ide. You know more about the notebook than I do."
Ryuk instantly stopped scavenging through the cabinets, his neck snapping around eagerly, "I suppose I can do that." He walked into the living room, his massive stature towering over Ide as he peered down at him. "Since Shuichi chose to let you in on his little secret, you're involved in this whether you like it or not. Ask me anything you want."
Ide's eyes wandered up and down Ryuk's body, lingering for a moment on his claws before finding his way back up to Ryuk's glowing eyes. He turned on a lamp to counteract the unsettling sight. "I'm allowed to ask anything I want, but that doesn't inherently mean you will answer or that you will answer honestly."
Ryuk's broad grin only intensified, nodding his head approvingly toward Aizawa. "I like this one."
"I would certainly hope so," Aizawa walked over to Ryuk and opened the notebook carrier at Ryuk's hip. The Shinigami did nothing to stop him, but in his subtlest movements was the message that he was expected to return his notebook the moment he was done with it. Aizawa held Ryuk's notebook in his hands. It wasn't much different from Aizawa's own. "This is a Death Note," he passed the notebook to Ide. "This is how Shinigami kill, and when the notebook falls into the human world, the person who picks it up will become bonded with the Shinigami who owned it and have that power as well."
Ide flipped through the pages of the Death Note, and Aizawa was relieved to find Ryuk had written the rules in his own notebook as well. "The human whose name is written in this note shall..." he trailed off. His grip on the notebook tightened. "You can't be serious." He snapped upright, gesturing to the piece of notebook paper in Aizawa's hand. "That page comes from your own 'Death Note'?"
Ryuk nodded, resting a massive hand on Aizawa's shoulder, "That's right. Shuichi found one of my notebooks after I dropped it into the human world." Aizawa pulled Ryuk's hand off of him. His lack of regard for the being in front of him was enough to catch Ide's attention.
"You mentioned you had become bonded to the Shinigami in exchange for using the notebook," Ide stared at Ryuk warily, countless thoughts swirling through his mind as he tried to decide what the best outcome could be. "What is this bond?"
Aizawa was about to explain, but Ryuk interjected before he had the chance. "It means only the human who owns the notebook and those who touch the notebook have the ability to see or interact with me," Ryuk said. "But more importantly... it means that when the time comes, I will be the one to end Shuichi's life," he shrugged, "Using the notebook also means that a human can no longer go to heaven or hell, but as Shuichi figured out pretty quickly, that's just my way of saying heaven and hell don't exist."
"Ryuk!" Aizawa's hands flew out wildly in an ill-fated attempt to silence Ryuk, "I was going to ease him into more existential elements!"
Ryuk took a step to the side away from Aizawa, rolling his eyes, "You're the one who wanted me to help with this explanation," he glanced over at Ide's completely blank stare, "See? He's fine."
Ide slowly sank down onto the couch, resting his head in his hands. "I don't know what I was expecting..." he forced himself to look back up at Ryuk, "What does happen after humans die? Do we go somewhere, or does that mean we disappear into nothing...?" He hesitated before that question could be answered. "Actually, don't... answer that," he rested his head in his hands again, slowly shaking his head, "I'm not sure I want to know."
"Ide..." Aizawa sat down beside him, grabbing a throw blanket off the armchair and draping it over Ide's shoulders. "Are you okay?" He reached across the coffee table to grab Ide's drink, but he stopped himself before his hand could wrap around the handle. He took his own coffee instead, placing that in Ide's hands. "You probably shouldn't be drinking with all of this."
"Yeah... thanks." Ide took a drink of the hot liquid, the warmth thawing his still-icy hands. "This explains some things. You must have gotten this notebook a while before you started using it. You were acting differently around the end of November, but you didn't begin acting as Kira until the middle of December."
"Can I go?" Ryuk asked. "I didn't start telling him things for free. I'm still expecting payment."
"You can go in a minute," Ide said. He set the coffee down, taking a deep breath through his nose to steel his nerves and gather his resolve. "I still have questions for you." Ryuk groaned as Ide took the book off the coffee table and flipped through the pages, "What is a Shinigami, exactly? Are you different from other Kami or a different type of higher power?"
Ryuk seemed momentarily annoyed with the question, but as his gaze fell onto the book in Ide's hands, something about it sparked his intrigue. "Don't know," he crouched down to match their level, his knees bending just a bit too much for Aizawa's comfort. "We don't really mingle with other spirits, though I suppose if we exist, they should exist as well."
"How could you not know your own origin or other deities outside of yourself?" Ide asked. His hand ran along the page he had been reading, "Legends can't decide one way or another, but even if heaven and hell don't exist, there's no denying you came from somewhere that wasn't our world. Why would that realm be separated from anything else?"
Ryuk suddenly became unusually somber. That perpetual grin never left his face, but it changed slightly. "Do you really want to know?" Aizawa straightened, as did Ide, urging Ryuk to explain. Ryuk saw the curiosity in both humans, and as he took back his Death Note from the coffee table and put it in his notebook carrier, he decided to tell his tale. "The truth is... nobody knows. Least of all me."
"Huh?" Aizawa asked, "What do you mean by that?"
"Nobody in my realm knows the answers to any of your questions or even why we exist," Ryuk said. Bitterness seeped into his tone the longer he continued speaking. "It might be a bit weird to say, but... nobody feels as though they are really alive," he got to his feet, momentarily stretching to his full height before walking over to the window, pushing back the curtain to look out at the city with fascination. "Shinigami these days don't have a lot to do. All they do is nap or gamble. If they see you scribbling humans' names into your Death Note, they ask what you're working so hard for and laugh at you," he heaved a sigh, "Our realm fell into disrepair long before I was brought into existence, and we became shadows of what we once were. Anyone who could tell you how or why turned to dust a long time ago, and with them went the rest of our power and our history." He craned his neck to look behind him, gesturing to the book in Ide's hands. "Imagine what human civilization would look like today if those books on your history were never written because nobody bothered to write them. What do you think that would look like?"
Ide held onto his book a bit tighter. "I couldn't imagine what we would be like without those stories passed down to us..." he flipped through the pages, and as he read through the passages within, he blinked. "Would it be possible for humans to have recorded those stories even if Shinigami did not?"
Ryuk pondered the question for a few moments, tapping his chin with a long finger. "Shinigami don't come down to the human world often," he said. "At least, we haven't for centuries. We should have been careful about not letting humans see us, but..." his eyes lit up with growing excitement, "I suppose it could be possible."
"Good," a small smile found its way onto Ide's face. His shoulders relaxed, and he loosened his grip on the book. "We won't be going in blind." He gestured for Ryuk to leave. "The apple orchard is about a twenty-minute walk from here if you go east. Go in that direction long enough, and you should—"
Ryuk was gone before Ide could finish that sentence.
Aizawa almost managed a small chuckle, but any amusement faded once he took in the stillness welcomed in Ryuk's absence. "This is probably a lot to take in..."
"I won't deny that," Ide set his book down on the coffee table. "However, nothing good would come from thinking too much about the implications of what I just heard." He clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly in an attempt to make himself more comfortable. "What matters right now is the information concerning the nature of your abilities. This... Death Note. Where have you been keeping it?"
"The lockbox in the bottom drawer of my desk," Aizawa explained. "I have a fake bottom to the drawer in case Eriko goes snooping, and there's a bunch of random crap on top of it to make it less likely someone would start measuring the drawer for any discrepancies." He crossed his arms the more he thought about it, resting against the back of the couch. "This isn't ideal, but Eriko will be in the hospital for five days after having the baby. I was going to use that time to reconstruct the drawer altogether to have the fake base just be a secret drawer accessed by twisting the handle a certain way. Maybe something like a combination lock if I can figure that out."
Ide slouched against the couch, willing himself to stay awake by thinking over every possibility. Only after a moment did he manage to conclude the idea had potential. "If L wants any chance of catching Kira, he needs a confession from you, or the Death Note. Either would work given Interpol's impatience, but given the nature of the case and the way L has handled his investigations in the past, it's more likely he will aim to have both."
"Yeah... Keeping the notebook in the lockbox should be enough for now, but if L begins suspecting the investigation, I need to make sure nobody would ever find it, even if they came to the house with a search warrant," he chuckled hollowly. "Or make sure Eriko wouldn't find it if I did something to annoy her. She would probably do a more thorough search than the investigation ever could."
Ide grimaced at the reminder, but he remained silent on any opinions he had on the matter. "That's one problem dealt with. But we have bigger problems if we want to avoid the investigation catching on."
"Bigger problems?" But he knew what Ide was talking about. "You mean L..."
Ide nodded, taking another long drink of the coffee in his hand. He began talking before Aizawa could encourage him to get some rest. He hadn't slept in days now... "Governments will resist the changes you want to make as long as they have hope of someone being able to stop Kira," he said. "Avoiding the problem and simply hiding the Death Note isn't going to accomplish that."
"I know. That's what I've been trying to figure out since his broadcast," Aizawa sighed, looking out the window at the darkness outside, hearing the rain still tapping against the glass. "He has never backed down from a case, and if he truly takes cases that interest him, that's even more reason to see the case through to the end." He wrapped his arms around himself in something of a self-soothing gesture. "I don't want to kill him... but I can't just ignore the fact he is playing with the intention to have me killed. He won't hold back, and if I want any chance of surviving, I can't either."
"I suspected that was the case," Ide willed himself to get up from the couch, chuckling as he headed into the kitchen to make himself and Aizawa another cup of coffee, this time without alcohol. "That also means the growing concerns I've heard from the others are completely wrong. You don't want to kill anyone trying to catch you."
"Well, yeah," Aizawa said. "They haven't done anything to deserve death, and even if I hadn't decided that on my own, our agreement would take killing them off the table," Ide nodded confirmation while stirring cream into his drink. "I need to figure out a way to limit L's ability to stop me without killing him," Aizawa turned around on the couch to better see his partner, "My only plan so far is to gather as much information as possible about L without letting anything on about myself. Once I have enough information on him, that should give more insight into how to handle him."
He carefully examined Ide's expression. He was exhausted, but there was something else Ide wasn't saying. He had been firm about his terms in exchange for his assistance, but Aizawa couldn't shake the sense that Ide wasn't as against what Aizawa was doing as he himself wanted to believe. Ide had avoided being responsible for death whenever possible. Ever since that case years ago...
But you're willing to look past that this time. I know you, Hideki... This isn't just because you know what will happen if I am caught. You have more reason to want these changes than I do.
Ide didn't pay Aizawa's suspicions any mind. "If that's the angle you're taking, you shouldn't have to do much of anything."
"Exactly. Nobody in the police trusts L and never have," Aizawa said. "Given L's refusal to reveal his name and face, that feeling is more than likely mutual. Doesn't help all those psychologists trying to claim L might have Kira as an alter and be unknowingly battling himself."
Ide cringed, his expression making it clear enough that statement had brought him physical pain. "That's not how that disorder works at all..."
"Hey, I'm not the one saying it is," Aizawa raised his hands defensively, chuckling quietly despite himself. "Regardless, the more people trying to make a quick buck keep inserting their opinions, the more the rest of the police who didn't study psychology will distrust L." The more he thought about it, the more he managed to relax. "If people start suspecting L enough to genuinely wonder if he is Kira, it's only a matter of time before a sizable amount of the team starts trying to track down L."
"I agree. Even without suspecting L to be Kira, it won't be long before people start resigning," He said. He sat down beside Aizawa, taking a drink from his coffee, urging Aizawa to do the same. "But even if that is your plan, you can't continue being as passive as you have been. Giving away nothing works on normal cases, so they go cold, but L isn't a normal detective. He specializes in cold cases. Having little to go off of won't bother him like it would someone else."
"The higher-ups in Interpol are the ones who would be bothered," Aizawa said. "If L doesn't make progress for any amount of time, the pressure is going to be on him from them. He may not be bothered by not having much information, but that would certainly be a nuisance."
"Right, and waiting it out until Interpol loses faith in L could be a viable strategy depending on how impatient they are, but that shouldn't be something to rely on, and that still wouldn't solve the problem with L," Ide rubbed his eyes, "Kira being too passive might cause L to begin setting traps to get a reaction from you. If L begins to suspect Kira is among the police, you would be unable to prepare for them. While you wouldn't have killed Lind L. Tailor regardless, having a warning ahead of time about the broadcast must have been a significant advantage."
"Yeah. I want to keep that advantage for as long as I can," Aizawa turned himself on the couch to better face Ide, leaning his back against the couch's arm. "What do you suggest?"
"Give L something to work with. A false view of Kira, if you will," Ide said. "One that doesn't misalign with your ideals but doesn't give anything away about your true personality." He pressed his palm against his eyes, staving back a yawn. "If I learned anything from working undercover, showing people what they want or expect to see is effective. As long as it's subtle, the target may become comfortable with that perception and leave themselves vulnerable," he suddenly straightened as he realized he had been staring at the wall, and he looked over at Aizawa, making sure he was being understood. "You need to keep your cards close but do something to drive home that you have a goal. L wants to see that Kira is a human with a distinct goal. If you show him what he wants to see, we may be able to keep him off your trail."
"Seems simple enough..." Aizawa said, carefully watching Ide's features and trying to find the most effective way to postpone any further conversation until tomorrow. Ide needed to get some sleep. "I'll figure out something."
Ide tried to smile, but it rang hollow. He fell back against the couch cushion, staring vacantly up at the ceiling.
Panic shot through Aizawa's chest. "Hideki...?"
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Ide whispered, so soft that Aizawa almost didn't hear him. "I can't believe this is real... You became a serial killer, and I became your accomplice," his voice shook as he tried to speak but choked on his own words, causing them to crack, "Shinigami are real, and everything I believed for my entire life turned out to not even be true," he covered his eyes with his arm, "I don't know what to do about this."
Aizawa hesitated, reaching out his hand and slowly wrapping his arm around Ide, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. "You don't need to help me. I'm sorry I burdened you with this," he heard the sound of flapping wings just in time for Ryuk to phase through the wall, gleefully munching on an apple. "Ryuk... if I were to renounce the notebook, it would erase my memories. I know Ide doesn't have ownership of the notebook, but is there a way to erase his memory of my confession?"
"Nope."
"I don't regret knowing," Ide whispered, "Even if there was an option to forget it all, I wouldn't agree to it," he nodded to himself, assuring himself of his decision. "I understand what you are trying to do and what drove you to do this, but let's just say I can see why you have been struggling these last few weeks." He reached down and intertwined Aizawa's hand in his, "You're not alone in this. Not anymore. We will change this world and find a way for you to get rid of that damn notebook..." his hands shook, and he struggled to get out a quiet, "Please..."
Aizawa smiled softly, "I will. And for what it's worth, I already feel better knowing you're going to be with me. I could do anything now." But the stakes were higher. If Ide was by his side, he had to think more about what he was doing and be more careful. His children had so much to lose if he were caught, but they would never have the chance of being deemed accomplices to his crimes. Not the way Ide would. He had to make sure his contingency plan never came to pass.
He could feel Ide's body go limp against his own, his assurance bringing Ide enough peace of mind that the exhaustion of days without rest could finally pull him into a deep sleep. Aizawa's heart warmed, and he slid his hand under Ide's knees to pick him up in a bridal-style carry to the bedroom. He pushed the door open with his foot and gently laid Ide on the queen-sized bed, making sure he was comfortable as he pulled the covers up to Ide's chest.
He brushed some of Ide's hair out of his face. Thank you, Hideki, for everything... I don't know what I would do without you.
OoOoO
"Good morning!"
Aizawa looked over his shoulder, adjusting his hold on his morning bag, "Good morning, Ukita." Ide smiled tiredly to Ukita, passing the pen for Aizawa to sign in for the day as well, only to suddenly stiffen as he caught sight of Ryuk lingering behind Ukita.
"Good morning."
Ukita frowned, "Huh? You okay?" He took a step closer, scrutinizing Ide's demeanor. "You still don't seem like you're feeling too well."
Aizawa was about to come up with an excuse, but Ide brushed Ukita's concerns to the side, his features smoothing over somewhat and masking what was wrong. He held up his coffee, "Remind me to never work two full days and a night shift unless I get a week off afterward," he looked over at Aizawa, "Shall we get going? We don't want to be late."
Aizawa grinned, "Yeah," he was quick to follow Ide, moving a bit closer to him than he had intended, but even after he had noticed, he made no move to correct it.
Ukita looked between them, puzzlement on his face as he chased after them, "What's your secret?" Aizawa and Ide both froze, spinning around in shock, something Ukita didn't seem to notice. "It's like you know what the other's thinking just by looking at each other. Haven't heard of that happening very often, so how do you two do it?" He hesitated, keeping his head down from hesitation, "I want to be a better officer, and having a partnership like you two have seems like a good way to do it."
Ide softened, chuckling good-naturedly as he continued walking, urging Ukita to walk with him. "Working alongside your best friend. Once you've known each other long enough, you'll be able to tell exactly what they are thinking," he looked back over his shoulder at Aizawa, "And you never have to do anything alone."
Aizawa couldn't hide the fondness on his face, "You're right..." he subtly checked the area to make sure Ryuk hadn't gotten into anything, then looked down at Ukita. "You've been talking to Matsuda since he arrived, right? What's his deal?"
"You mean those rumors he was on the Special Forces?" Ukita shrugged, "I don't really know. We usually don't talk much about work, so I haven't gotten a chance to ask him."
Interesting... Matsuda doesn't seem like the secretive type, but if he truly was on the Special Forces and hasn't said anything about it, he could be a bigger threat than I thought. Am I overthinking this? He's a kid who showed up out of nowhere, and the Superintendent took him in, but that could mean anything...
"What the hell is this?!"
Aizawa recoiled before making contact with the door to the main investigation room. Was that the Superintendent? "That... doesn't sound good."
Ryuk chuckled, sticking his head through the wall to see what was going on. "He sounds pretty mad," he pulled his head back out to glance over at Aizawa, noticing the panic in his features. His worry didn't go unnoticed by either Ide or Ukita, and Ukita was the one to speak up.
"I'll... go in first," Ukita slipped through the door, and within only a few moments, he urged Aizawa and Ide to come inside. Aizawa took a breath as he stepped inside, and before he could question what was going on, he had already figured it out.
Konno, Otani, and Uyeda had taken to standing before the front table, and Aizawa didn't need to be able to see the letters of resignation to know they existed, and they were the thing to make Soichiro react so strongly. He could see the hesitance yet grim resolve in his coworkers, maintaining the same posture to show unity in their decision.
Uyeda took the lead in explaining. "Exactly what it says. A letter of resignation," he straightened his posture slightly, keeping a flat tone in a refusal for others to pick up on any traces of his obvious apprehension. "Either you put me on another case, sir... or if you can't do that, I leave the NPA."
Soichiro picked up one of the letters of resignation, reading through the papers and their writings with something of disbelief. But Aizawa could see on Soichiro's face that despite wanting to believe otherwise, he was no more genuinely shocked about this than Aizawa was. "But... But why...?"
And that was the question everyone seemingly wanted to know, drawing the attention of even those who only barely cared. All eyes pressed onto the three trying to leave, and Aizawa noticed Otani shrink down in shame. He must have wished for this matter to be done quickly without anyone noticing, but he must have known that would be impossible.
Uyeda seemed much more aware of this outcome. Anyone would want to know why, to see if the fears they kept relatively quiet about were shared by others, "Why...? Because I value my life, sir." He shot a glance over his shoulder towards Watari and the computer where L silently resided. "According to L's reasoning, Kira uses some paranormal means to kill people without having direct contact with them, correct?"
Konno continued where Uyeda left off. "If I were Kira, I'd try to get rid of the people who were trying to catch me." Ide looked over at Aizawa for the briefest second, and Aizawa could practically see the "I told you" in his eyes.
Otani nodded, his hand clenching and unclenching. "Because if we catch him, he gets the death sentence." Did they rehearse this? They must have.
Uyeda seemed to confirm that theory by continuing the explanation without missing a beat. "The other day, L told us to check how the victims had been reported in the media. He wanted to know if photographs or footage showing their faces were included in the reports." He suddenly lost control over the carefully calm facade, slamming down his hands on Soichiro's desk and leaning forward, his voice raising with growing terror, "Well, they were!" his voice broke on that final word. "Every single victim so far was someone whose face was shown in media reports! In other words... unlike L, we do all our work carrying police IDs with our photographs right there on them. We don't hide our faces. We're right out in the open!" He straightened back to a more professional stature, taking a breath to calm his nerves. "Kira could get us any time. And that's why we're requesting a transfer, sir."
Soichiro didn't react to the outburst, doing anything he could to figure out what he could say, but the three took his silence as the best time to leave. "But... Hey, hey, wait a minute..." but there wasn't as much bite in his voice as there had been before. He knew they were right, and he knew it was unfair to make such a demand for them to stay.
Otani noticed this, and Aizawa saw his resolve waver one final time, and he called back apologetically, "We've got families, sir," as he left, shutting the door behind him.
Hushed discussions began the moment the doors closed, and Aizawa could hear the whispers amongst his coworkers contemplating what had been said. Soichiro closed his eyes, resting his elbow against the table and a hand covering his face, and he made no move to prevent those discussions from happening.
Aizawa frowned as he noticed the strain etched into Soichiro's face. His exhaustion and stress had somehow worsened despite going home for the night, and this resignation that would soon become a trend was the last thing he needed. Had something happened?
Ide nudged him, pulling Aizawa out of his thoughts. "They're right, you know," he said. "We're sitting ducks while L remains behind a computer. I have nothing I would be leaving behind, but you have a child on the way."
What are you...? Aizawa didn't need to finish that question as he suddenly became aware of Watari sitting not far behind them. Ide was speaking just loudly enough that L would be able to hear, and Aizawa understood what he was doing.
"I know, but I don't want my kids growing up in a world with this nonsense to worry about," Aizawa looked back over worriedly at Soichiro, "Excuse me for a moment," he got to his feet and approached the front desk. He cleared his throat and waited for Soichiro to refocus himself, "Superintendent, are you alright?"
Soichiro's eyes came back into focus after only a moment. He smiled tiredly, but it was clearly forced. "I had been wondering when this would happen. That doesn't make it any easier. We're all going to need longer hours to make up for this..." he quickly changed the topic away from himself, adjusting the way he was sitting to become more engaged with the conversation. "You seem to be doing much better. Were you able to get some rest this weekend?"
"Yeah. I'm doing a lot better," Aizawa said. He tried to examine the papers stacked all around Soichiro's desk, but he couldn't make sense of any of them. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
Soichiro shook his head. "No, there's nothing anyone can do," then he paused and smiled warmly to Aizawa. "Actually... knowing you are doing better has helped me more than you would know. That's one silver lining to it all." He picked up one of the stacks of papers, tapping them against the table to straighten them all out, "If you excuse me, I have some reassigning to do, and I might as well have plans ready for everyone. This is only the beginning..."
Aizawa bit the inside of his cheek. I'm sorry, Superintendent. Nothing he could say would reassure him, even if he knew Soichiro's concern for the lives of his officers was unwarranted. Hopefully, this will all be over soon.
He turned back to his desk with Ide, but as he walked back, he couldn't help staring directly at L's computer. You had to have known this would happen, L. What are you planning?
OoOoO
"Yes, that's right. I'm requesting that you conduct a thorough top-secret probe of all NPA personnel involved in the Kira case, as well as their close friends and families."
Director Mason remained in frustrated silence besides the sound of heavy breathing. L briefly wondered if he was going to speak before Director Mason finally asked the question on his mind. "L... Are you suggesting one of them may be Kira?"
"Yes," L said. He glanced over at the stacks of documents he had been reading through over the weekend. "In fact, I'm sure of it."
"But we're already putting a lot of manpower into this case..." Director Mason said. "You haven't been able to prove Kira even exists. Why should we spend more resources on this when you haven't provided any results?"
It was only a matter of time before that question was asked. Interpol had been contemplating it for a while now. "I haven't shown my results because if I were to reveal my hand, Kira could very well change his methods to hide from me," L explained. "All you need to know is that I have a hunch, and my hunch has never been wrong. In time, I will have all the evidence I need to prove my claims."
More than that... America had suffered the most impact of any country worldwide. They couldn't afford to waste any time if they didn't want to face a complete collapse. As the Director of the FBI, Director Mason knew that as well as L did. "All... right... We'll do as you ask."
"Thank you," L said. "And please do the best you can. We have to stop Kira as soon as we can."
Chapter Text
L flipped through the heavy stack of papers he had received only minutes ago. They were still warm to the touch from being freshly printed, and that allowed him to sort them neatly by order of print without having to look at the numbers in the darkness of his room. He gave everything a cursory glance to make sure no inaccurate information had been given to the investigators. Everything seems to be in order...
Satisfied with the documents, L pressed the button on his computer to call Watari. "Watari, the FBI has started its probe. I've received the list of all the NPA personnel working on the case."
"Yes," Watari said. Despite the audio quality, L could hear the slightest hint of relief in his voice. Gathering this information a second time to correct any inaccuracies would have been bothersome. "FBI agents entered Japan three days ago."
L hummed thoughtfully as Watari ended the call. He ran his thumb along the edge of the stack to flip through the pages faster, counting the number to give himself a frame of reference for what he was dealing with. Just within the NPA, 141 people have access to classified information regarding the investigation.
His finger caught on one of the pages, and he stopped his quick counting. L frowned, curiously examining the paper under the dim lighting of his computer. Number 42... Shuichi Aizawa.
He slipped the paper back into the stack, tapping it against the floor before he continued flipping through. Somewhere in this list of police officers and the people closest to them, we will find our suspect. I'm sure of it.
OoOoO
What would be the best option here...? Aizawa wondered, staring at the supermarket shelf housing more options than he had prepared himself for when he offered to go out for groceries. Yumi and I usually prefer ramen, but Eriko hates ramen. She loves udon. Neither of them would appreciate it if I brought home tsukemen.
He smiled to himself. Maybe his son would understand his enjoyment of tsukemen.
He ended up grabbing the udon and placing it into his basket. Eriko had been craving cheesy udon, much to his chagrin, and giving in to her cravings was the reasonable thing to do. This was probably the one form of udon Yumi liked instead of simply tolerated. He should be able to get away with making a meal for the family instead of solely for Eriko.
Aizawa quietly hummed a simple melody to himself as he continued walking down the aisles. What else did he need? He checked the list he had written down that morning. Yumi packed melon bread as a snack for school. They needed baby formula as a backup... Eggs, some mikan... Oh, they had run out of bread in the breadbox that morning, and he had promised Yumi he would buy her a kit-kat as a treat.
He couldn't forget about the apples, either. He wasn't sure that would be possible if he tried. A bag of apples had been the first thing he grabbed, and he could feel Ryuk's eager stare behind him, no doubt contemplating if he could get away with stealing one to satisfy himself.
But Aizawa couldn't focus on Ryuk's antics for long. His chest suddenly tightened, and he forced himself to focus on his humming to calm his nerves. What is going on? He couldn't explain why, but for the last few days, he hadn't been able to shake this building, unsettling feeling he was being watched. Eyes pressing into him when they thought he wouldn't notice. That feeling had to be Ryuk, right?
"Shuichi, you got a moment?"
Aizawa had to consciously keep the alarm off his face, absently looking at the aisles as he continued humming. Why was Ryuk talking to him? They had agreed he wouldn't talk to him in public. Was he overthinking this?
Ryuk took Aizawa's continued humming as his cue to continue. A way of indirectly acknowledging him. "I don't have anything against you, Shuichi," he said. "In a way, I think you're the best person who could've picked up my notebook. But... I'm neither on your side nor L's side on this."
Aizawa shot a look at Ryuk from the corner of his eye. I knew that much already. Why are you telling me this?
"So I'm not going to tell you that what you're doing is right or wrong," Ryuk continued. He was momentarily distracted by the vast assortment of fruit across the store from them, beginning to wander in that direction. "I won't say a word about that." Ryuk hurriedly flew back around to Aizawa as he continued walking down the aisles in the opposite direction until he found an energy drink for himself. "But as your roommate, I might have a few things to say now and then."
This better not be him trying to convince me to buy him more apples. Aizawa massaged his temples, trying to stave off the building headache only made worse by Ryuk's rambling. He focused all of his annoyance on the energy drink in his hand. You better work as a painkiller.
Ryuk caught on to Aizawa's annoyance, inching ever closer to him. "What I meant was, what I'm about to tell you isn't spoken as your ally, or Kira's if you prefer. It's just because it's bugging me personally. I'm always following behind you wherever you go, so I noticed it right away," he leaned forward, his breath hot on Aizawa's ear as he whispered. "You are being followed by another human. He's watching you right now."
Aizawa froze, his melody coming to a sudden stop. His heart pounded against his ribs as he dared a cautious glance over his shoulder, and within barely a second, he had noticed the person Ryuk was talking about. The man realized he had stopped and remained concealed just behind one of the shelves in the nearby aisle. He had seen that guy a couple of times since leaving the office, but he had convinced himself his presence stemmed from paranoia. That could be a problem.
He feigned shaking off whatever concern he had had to warrant turning around, readjusting his grip on his basket as he continued walking and reading through his grocery list. He couldn't give any indication he had become aware of the situation. Not until he knew for certain what was going on.
Ryuk followed after Aizawa, listening to his continued humming. He took only a moment to understand what Aizawa was doing. "It's really getting on my nerves." He craned his neck at an unnatural angle to stare directly behind them. "These last couple of days, I've gotten a much better understanding of why you were constantly on the brink of a mental breakdown when I first showed up. He doesn't see me, of course, but I feel like I'm being watched."
These last couple of days, huh? Aizawa checked his basket to make sure he had everything he needed before walking over to the self-checkout. He could feel the eyes of his shadow burning into his back. You were right, Hideki. L must have realized that Kira has access to information known only to the task force. That means he must suspect Kira is someone in the NPA.
He wasn't going to let himself be discovered that easily. If he played his cards right, he might be able to use this to his advantage. Eriko had taken to remaining at home as her due date approached. She would have said something if a stranger had been lurking around the house or tried to come inside. He could use her as a defense against anyone who may attempt to break into the house for investigation, removing any chance his shadow had of finding the evidence.
He thought back on everything he had done in the last couple of days. Ryuk hadn't specified how long exactly he had been followed, but if Aizawa considered the moment his unease began to build, that would mean he had only been followed for the last two days. His shadow had only begun tailing him at the start of the new year. Even if his estimations were off by a day or two, he was confident that he hadn't done anything remotely incriminating. All this person would see was a tired officer trying to take care of his pregnant wife and child. He had nothing to worry about.
Yet Aizawa's thoughts continued to race. He had to struggle against the burning need to turn around and see the threat he was suddenly faced with, leaving behind a seeping sense of dread that only grew more intense with each step he took.
He had decided to walk to clear his head, hoping to distract himself from everything, even if it would be temporary. Instead of finding peace, all he could see was a threat at every turn. He counted the number of people surrounding him as he subtly picked up the pace.
Who would be following me? That's what I need to figure out more than anything. Aizawa stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, keeping the bag with his groceries hooked on his arm. Given the situation, I doubt this is unrelated to the investigation, but that doesn't answer the question. L wouldn't use the Japanese police to probe the NPA, so who would he be using instead?
But there was something else that was bothering him more than anything else. He had been followed for days, and he was not the head of the investigation. Would this surveillance stop at the people who were on the task force, or... was this going to extend into his family? Was someone like this going to be following Yumi everywhere she went?
Aizawa clenched his fist. That would be where he drew the line. He could handle this person tailing him—it wouldn't be the first time he had been followed due to an investigation. But if this extended into his family, he would need to do something about it.
Should he act on this? He took another glance over his shoulder as he turned a corner, and he saw his shadow following not far behind. Acting as though he hadn't noticed anything and allowing himself to be written off would be the logical thing to do. Then again, he had been on enough cases that him becoming aware of the person following him and acting on that information wouldn't be suspicious...
The only thing he could say for certain was that L would be looking for any sign of a reaction from Kira. If Aizawa changed anything in his MO during this time, it would be obvious he had noticed and would confirm any suspicions L may have. He would have to wait to give L a false impression of Kira until a safe time after this situation was dealt with.
How long was this surveillance going to go on for? He had no grasp on the resources L could have at his disposal, and that was something he needed to know more than anything. Even if they had fifty or even a hundred people probing the NPA, the likelihood he would be suspected as Kira was next to nothing. There wouldn't be enough manpower to monitor everyone for enough time to determine such a thing.
But if L did have the resources, and this surveillance went on for months? There was enough chance he would come under scrutiny that he knew he had to think of something. Fast.
Aizawa pulled open the door to enter his house, taking off his shoes and positioning them by the door. "I'm home." He was given no response, and he smiled to himself. Yumi must have become too invested in her books to hear him, and if he wasn't getting any answer, there was a good chance Eriko was asleep. He could surprise her with dinner, and unless he had made the wrong call with food, they might be able to have a peaceful night.
Just before he took the step to walk into the kitchen, his brows furrowed. I wonder... He stepped into the living room just off to the side of the foyer and peeked through the curtains to see the street outside. As he had suspected, he could see his shadow outside. Watching, waiting for something to happen.
He will probably leave once all the lights are turned off and we retire for the night. Aizawa headed over to the kitchen on the far end of the house, making sure the curtains remained closed before pulling out the supplies and ingredients to start making dinner. I shouldn't begin to panic. Before anything else, I need to figure out my shadow's name. Once I know who he is, that will give me a sense of what resources L has. There's a chance I have nothing to worry about.
Ryuk looked around the main floor for a place to sit while Aizawa worked in relative silence. He contemplated the couch for a few seconds, but for reasons Aizawa couldn't begin to understand, he decided instead to sit on one of the empty countertops, cocking his head to the side as he watched Aizawa going through the motions of making dinner. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed an unusual glint in the Shinigami's eyes, almost as though he was pondering something.
"Shuichi."
Aizawa spared a glance away from his meal preparations. "Hm?"
Ryuk slid down from the counter, his knees bending to an even more extreme degree to catch himself, only after a moment too long returning to his usual hunched stature. Aizawa regarded him somewhat curiously as the Shinigami raised two fingers in front of his face, "There are two big differences between Shinigami and humans who have a Death Note," Ryuk said, "Do you know why Shinigami write people's names into their notebooks?"
Aizawa's brows furrowed. He checked behind and around him to make sure nobody was coming, and he kept his voice low as he spoke. "You mentioned there was something about it that was considered work. Given you're a God of Death, I assumed it was meant to curb overpopulation or something like that." But his hands slowly stopped moving, and he gave up trying to focus on menial tasks. He already knew the reason...
Ryuk grinned. "We've talked about this before. I just wasn't as clear then," he leaned forward, inspecting every small detail of Aizawa's features to get a read on what he was thinking, "Do you want to guess again?"
Aizawa shut his eyes tightly, sucking in a breath to distract from Ryuk standing so close to him. Their agreement returned to the forefront of his mind. "That is how you harvest our lifespan," he opened his eyes again, focusing intently on the food he was preparing. "I'm assuming you take whatever would have been left for that human and add it to your own lifespan. Does that mean your immortality is limited?"
"That's right. I have seen Shinigami who died naturally. Those who sat around doing nothing, living for centuries without remembering to write down a single human name..." Ryuk's next words caught his undivided attention. "And I don't know what it is myself, but apparently, a way to kill Shinigami does exist."
He said that with complete apathy... Aizawa set his jaw to conceal the chill that had gone up his spine, searching Ryuk's face for any sign of some emotion from him. But besides the most mild intrigue, there was nothing to indicate Ryuk cared one way or another for his words or their implications.
Was death such a foreign concept that he could speak of it without regard for his peers? Aizawa gripped onto the edge of the counter. He wasn't sure he would ever want to so much as see the world Ryuk had come from.
Ryuk chuckled, cutting through Aizawa's thoughts. "You are quite a rare find... Usually, when humans find out about that, their first question is if writing names in the Death Note can do the same for them."
Aizawa shook his head. "No. You started this discussion by saying there were two big differences between Shinigami and humans, which answers that question for me," he began searching through the cabinets for the seasonings he needed. He couldn't let this conversation distract him from what he was doing. "Besides, nothing about our working relationship should make you think I want to extend my life using the Death Note. What would be the point in asking?"
"True," Ryuk agreed. "But my point is, that's the first big difference between a Shinigami and a human with the Death Note." He reached up toward the highest shelf, his long arms easily pulling down the nice bowls and setting them on the counter where he had once been sitting.
Aizawa rested his hand on his hip, considering whether or not he should intervene in Ryuk's assistance. He ultimately decided against it. "Why didn't you mention this any of the times me or Hideki asked about the things you weren't telling us?" he asked. "Nobody knows this stuff about Shinigami."
Ryuk turned back around to look him in the eye, and that momentary sense of reprieve disappeared. The way Ryuk was regarding him made Aizawa back away, his hands pressing against the edge of the counter behind him. "Because the other difference might be interesting to you, but only in the right circumstances. This isn't about extending your lifespan. It's about shortening it..."
"Shortening it...? I thought we already agreed—"
Ryuk raised a hand to cut him off. "Before you get the wrong idea, you should hear me out about this." Despite his better judgment, Aizawa fell quiet, pressing his lips together in a thin line to prevent himself from speaking as Ryuk began his explanation. "We Shinigami look down on the human world from our realm to choose which humans we'll write into our notebooks. There might be some preferences involved, but usually, it's just whoever your eye happens to land on."
That was all they thought about when making that decision? Snatching away human lives like they meant nothing... "So it really does come down to luck..."
Ryuk nodded. He took another step towards him, then another, until he leaned forward intently, cornering Aizawa against the counter and preventing him from backing away. He was forced to stare directly into Ryuk's eyes with no way of moving. "And how do we know the person's name just by looking at them?" Ryuk mused, "Well, a Shinigami's eyes can see a human's name and lifespan over your head when we look at you."
What...? "Their name and lifespan?" He stiffened as memories of the day he met Ryuk came to mind, "That was how you knew my name."
"And the name of the man you had me kill."
Aizawa nervously shifted his gaze between Ryuk's face and down at his arm pressed against the counter, limiting Aizawa's own ability to move. "Our eyes are different..." He listened for any sounds surrounding them. He could hear Ryuk's breathing and the sounds of boiling water on the stove, but no indication of anyone coming closer or listening in. "You said this would be interesting to me under the right circumstances. Is my shadow bothering you so much that you're offering to tell me his name?" What would this have to do with shortening my lifespan?
"No," Ryuk said quickly, "In fact, that's one of the rules of the Shinigami Realm. I'm not allowed to tell you, even if I wanted to."
"Then why are you telling me this?"
Ryuk reached off to the side, giving Aizawa the package of noodles so he could continue cooking. "There's a deal that, traditionally, Shinigami who drop their Death Notes can only make with the human who picks it up, which gives that human a Shinigami's eyes."
A deal? Aizawa regarded Ryuk warily, not once taking his eyes off him even as he poured the noodles into the boiling pot, "What... kind of deal...?"
He regretted asking the moment the question escaped his lips as Ryuk's demeanor shifted entirely, rows of teeth glistening in the lights. There was something... hungry, in those empty eyes. "The price of a Shinigami's eyes is... half of that human's remaining lifetime. If you have ten years left, that's five. And if you have one year left, that's six months." His stare only became more intense, and Aizawa instinctively passed him an apple to quell any thoughts Ryuk may be having, which did serve to return a more casual demeanor. "Of course, I can see your name and lifespan right now, Shuichi. If I convert it to human-world time, I know exactly how many years you have left. 'Course, I'd never tell you what that is."
"I don't particularly want you to, either," Aizawa said. "You've given me enough existential dread." He raised an eyebrow, watching Ryuk eagerly consume his apple. "What is in this for you? What reason would you have to offer me this deal?"
"Nothing, really," Ryuk said. "This deal has no advantages for the Shinigami. I can extend my lifespan using anybody." He pulled away from Aizawa, taking long strides into the living area and urging Aizawa to follow him. Aizawa reluctantly followed him and peeked through the curtains Ryuk had pulled open. He could see where the one who had been tailing him remained hidden in the shadows. "This is a way for you to find out the identity of anyone who may want to harm your friends and family. With this guy following you, I know you're getting worried he could start following your daughter."
He's right about that... I don't know how far this guy or L is willing to go. Aizawa crossed his arms uncomfortably. "You knew I wouldn't have considered this before now..."
"Exactly. Give me half of your remaining lifespan, and you can have a Shinigami's eyes and get rid of any threat that comes your family's way," Ryuk said. He extended his hand for Aizawa to take. "So, is it a deal?"
...
I've confirmed it.
Light had suspected someone was following him for days. He had heard the footsteps behind him he knew were not his own, all the more apparent in the night when he knew he should be alone. He would stop walking to check, and the footsteps would continue for two steps before coming to a stop, realizing he had as well.
He hadn't thought much of it the first time he had noticed. This wouldn't be the first time someone in his class had followed him, and should the situation escalate, he could handle it on his own. However, once he caught sight of his stalker in his peripheral vision, he had seen with his own eyes this person was not a high school girl trying to think of a way to "coincidentally" run into him on the way home. No... this was something else entirely. An adult man in a dark trench coat watching his every move.
After that, it hadn't taken long for his stalker to become painfully obvious. He followed Light everywhere he went, and Light had begun taking pictures through hidden cameras on his person to prove that, the same pictures he was holding in his hands now. There was no doubt about it anymore.
But this stalker wasn't coming into the house or into Light's room... Light peeked through his curtains, and through the doors overlooking his balcony, he could see his stalker standing in front of the house. He was barely concealing himself. It was pathetic.
It couldn't be a coincidence this was happening while Dad was working on the biggest case in his career. Something must have happened in the investigation that Dad wasn't telling him about, or... Light looked over to his computer, reading through the documents he had pulled from Dad's computer. Or maybe this was something Dad himself wasn't aware of.
That only left a few possibilities remaining that Light was willing to humor for longer than a few seconds... Kira wasn't nearly so foolish as to begin stalking the Superintendent's son when his method of committing murder was so distant, and no individuals willing to do such a thing would stand in Dad's way of stopping Kira unless they had a death wish.
So that's how it is. My father, who heads the task force, has been put under surveillance as well. If that's the case... A triumphant smile spread slowly over the face. This is the opening I have been looking for. This is perfect!
The easiest thing to do would be to tell Dad about the situation. If he was made aware, Dad would take care of this stalker himself, and there would be nothing for him to worry about. But if Light's theory was right, and this surveillance was ordered by L... that could get Dad in trouble.
He blinked, an idea coming to mind that would solve everything. There was a way to ensure this didn't get traced back to or cause trouble for Dad. Just to him, and only him. Light had nothing to hide, and this was how he could guarantee L took notice of him. This was his chance to get involved in the investigation.
Light grabbed his cell phone off his nightstand where it lay charging. He again looked through his curtains to stare down at his stalker while he waited for the person on the other end to answer his call, and he got a response within only a few seconds.
"Light?"
"Hey, Yamamoto," Light said. "Can I ask you for a favor?"
Chapter Text
"So, is it a deal?"
Aizawa stared down at Ryuk's extended hand, waiting patiently for him to take it and accept the offer he was given. Half of my remaining lifespan for a Shinigami's eyes... He could see without a moment's contemplation why someone would take such a deal. What did half of his lifespan matter when his life could end far sooner should he be captured and faced with the death penalty?
He took a small step back away from Ryuk, reaching toward the curtain to pull them back just enough that he could see the stranger hiding on the other side. All I would have to do is see his face, and I would know everything. Who this stranger was, where he came from, and one of the resources L had at his disposal... He only needed a name, and all of that information would be in his grasp.
He took another glance towards the stairs to make sure he was alone before finally turning to face Ryuk again. His arms remained crossed uncomfortably, trying to get a read on the Shinigami's thinking. "Ryuk... You know I can never accept this deal."
Ryuk blinked slowly, but he didn't seem bothered or even surprised by Aizawa's answer. "Yeah, I figured," he lowered his hand. "If your friend Hideki has his way, you won't be using the Death Note long enough for that deal to even matter."
"Right..." Aizawa relaxed slightly, shutting off the living room lights and stepping back into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. "Besides, I'm doing this to have a good life with my children. I can't exactly do that if I'm dead. The last thing I want is to leave them without a father... especially until I know they won't be left alone with the way things are now," he grinned somewhat jokingly as he continued with his cooking, "How about this? Ask me again in twenty years. If I'm somehow not dead and haven't succeeded in my goal, then lord knows I would need all the help I can get."
Ryuk followed after Aizawa and sat on one of the empty chairs at the dining table. He chuckled good-naturedly as he watched the movements of Aizawa's hands. "I'll make sure to remind you," he shrugged casually, taking a bite of an apple he must have snagged from the grocery bag. "I just wanted to let you know that this kind of deal exists, that's all. Gotta get it out of the way first because I don't want to hear any 'you never told me' bellyaching later. By the way, you can make this deal any time, as long as you have the Death Note."
Aizawa raised an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder to determine if Ryuk was serious. "How long have we known each other, Ryuk? Almost a month now?" He turned around fully, leaning against the counter. With Ryuk sitting, they were on an equal level with one another. "And how many times have I asked you if there was anything you happened to leave out?"
Ryuk stared at him in disbelief, his mouth partially falling open before he promptly closed it. "Uh... Yeah... It didn't really come up before. Like I said, this is the first time you would have considered it for even a second," he said. "I'm not going to trouble myself with explanations if you wouldn't even care."
"Fair enough," Aizawa said, though as he looked away, he found himself smiling almost hopefully. "Though I can't help but wonder now... are a Shinigami's eyes the only thing you bargain for?"
Ryuk grinned, his sharp teeth glinting in the lights. "Why do you ask?" He wondered. "Is there something else you're more interested in?"
"I don't know," he admitted, but his voice fell quiet, almost down to a whisper. "But if this was a deal for a Shinigami's wings..." his hand moved up to his own shoulder, his fingers pressing into the muscles of his upper back. "...I would seriously consider it."
"And what is it about wings that you would want?" Ryuk got up from his seat, bending unnaturally to examine Aizawa's back against the counter, "All Shinigami have them, so I've never seen anything special about it," he watched Aizawa carefully. The way his gaze remained downcast brought a certain look of realization to the Shinigami's eyes. "Though I suppose that feeling would be different for you..."
"You have no idea the kind of freedom you have with those..." Aizawa muttered. "You can go anywhere, do anything, and there is no one who can..." he bit down hard on his bottom lip, stopping himself from saying anything else. He stopped himself before he admitted something he wasn't sure he could bring himself to say aloud.
He imagined, sometimes, what it would be like if he could fly away. Visions in his mind's eye of soaring up into the night sky or dipping his hand into the ocean waters... phantom sensations of the wind against his face and in his hair, and the absolute euphoria that would come with so much freedom.
Aizawa harshly shook himself out of his thoughts, pressing his hand against the sharp edge of the counter. Thinking about running away... how selfish is that? Wanting to fly away and forget about everything, even for just a moment? That's horrible...
Those intrusive thoughts were only getting worse and worse with Ryuk around as living or unliving proof that such a thing existed. He couldn't prevent them no matter what measures he tried, and he had to force himself to voice anything that could push his wish to the side, "I'm... not about to find out Shinigami are made from people who make these kinds of deals until they aren't human, right?"
Ryuk watched every subtle change in Aizawa's demeanor. Every trace of pain in his eyes was seen, and he rested his hand on Aizawa's shoulder in a clueless attempt to ease whatever thoughts had been plaguing his mind. "Don't worry, Shuichi," he said. "That's not how Shinigami are made. And even without doing that, you're already a fine Shinigami."
Aizawa's eyes didn't leave the wooden floors. Despite any opinions he may have about Ryuk's statement, he couldn't bring himself to even try contradicting it. The Shinigami had said the only difference between them was their lifespans and their eyes, and while there was more to it than that, all of those things... appeared superficial.
They weren't the same by any stretch of the imagination, but he couldn't say they were as different as he would like to believe. How could he argue he was different than them when, in the end, he was doing the same thing as them—taking the lives of others to, even if indirectly, prolong his own life?
The corners of Ryuk's ever-present smile faltered, diffused by Aizawa's somber mood that had turned to absently finishing the dinner he was preparing for his family. "So, uh... what're you going to do about that guy outside?" Ryuk asked. "If you're not going to take the eyes, what's your plan to deal with him?"
Aizawa took a deep breath in, focusing himself back on where he was and the matter at hand. He couldn't be distracted. "Right now, I am going to focus on my family," he said. "As for what I will do going forward... I'm not going to do anything."
"Huh?" Ryuk perched himself on the chair, curiously tilting his head to the side, "Why not? Aren't you worried he could start tailing Yumi next?"
His grip tightened on the bowl in his hands. "I am worried about that," he said. "But L is looking for any kind of reaction from Kira, not necessarily me. If this shadow goes after Yumi and I respond as myself, that won't draw too much attention. I have worked enough cases where this was a problem that I can get away with it if necessary." He checked the noodles, satisfied to find them done and ready to begin the next step of preparation. "If I am the only one being tailed, it's fine to let him keep following me and get written off. Assuming the guy following me clears me of suspicion without any incident, I shouldn't be investigated again unless L sees a reason to investigate me again."
The only evidence against me would be the notebook, and he won't be able to go inside unless he is willing to investigate around Eriko. He won't find the notebook, and if I'm careful, nothing I would do while being tailed will set off any reason for suspicion.
All of that sounded far too simple to be realistic. Aizawa groaned softly, massaging just under his eyes. He unintentionally rubbed away some of the makeup concealing the dark shadows, but he couldn't bring himself to pay that any mind. "But if I make a mistake and he does see a reason... he will be a lot more thorough, and I don't know how far he is willing to go."
He let out a quiet sigh, finishing the final touches for dinner and mentally preparing himself to call his family downstairs. I need to assume this will only delay things. This isn't anything that is actively a threat to me at the moment, but I need to talk to Ide about this as soon as possible. When the day comes that it does become a problem... we need to be prepared.
OoOoO
Light hurried down the stairs, shrugging on his jacket and doing his best not to take the steps two at a time. He briefly paused, looking between the front door and the door to the living area, before deciding he didn't want to waste any time and leaned against the wall to pull on his shoes.
He checked the backs of his shoes to make sure they were smooth. Only once he was satisfied did he reach for the door handle, but he stopped when he heard a voice behind him.
"You're up early for a Saturday, Light. What's the occasion?"
"Huh?" Light glanced over his shoulder, not surprised to find his mother waiting behind him with her hands on her hips. A teasing smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, allowing him to relax. She wouldn't stop him from going out, but his parents had been keeping a closer eye on him lately. He didn't want her to know the real reason he was going out. "I agreed to go out with Yamamoto today, so I went to bed early last night," Light said, the subtle white lie falling easily past his lips without any practice. "I should be back before dinner."
Mom carefully studied his face, searching for something before her features eventually smoothed over, "Alright, dear," she cupped his face between her hands, pulling him down to kiss his forehead. "Have fun with your friend."
"Thanks, Mom!" Light hurried out the door with a bounce in his step, waving his mother goodbye. "I'll see you tonight!" He maintained his cheerful demeanor even once he was far out of her line of sight, the right amount of excitement any teenager would have on their day off. He slowed his pace the longer he continued walking, but only enough that he could listen for the footsteps he had grown accustomed to.
Everything should be in motion. Now, let's hope this guy follows me again today. I'm pretty positive he will. There's no point shadowing me only on weekdays and then not watching what I do on my days off. He can't clear me until he does that.
It wasn't long before he heard those familiar footsteps, dutifully following along after him as they had for days before. There you are... He pulled out his phone, checking for any messages from Yamamoto as he walked along the busy sidewalks for a long while, maintaining the facade of his head up in the clouds until finally, he arrived at his destination.
Light ran his hand along the railing of the remote bridge he had decided to stop along, looking down over the river flowing peacefully underneath. The waters rippled in the chilled winter breeze, and he could even see scattered leaves floating along the surface.
He waited there for a long while, leaning on the railing and making sure nobody was coming. Nobody, of course, besides his stalker hidden behind one of the nearby trees.
"I know you're here. You've been following me," Light turned his head toward where his stalker was hiding, proving beyond doubt that he wasn't taking a shot in the dark. "Don't worry. We're alone," he straightened up to his full height, gesturing around the empty area, "No one else is here. Shouldn't I have a name for you?"
His stalker remained motionless in response. He didn't seem to so much as breathe despite Light listening for it. Only after a prolonged minute of what must have been quiet contemplation did he step out of the shadows, revealing himself as a remarkably handsome man, so much so that Light would have been caught off guard if he cared for superficial matters like that.
The man held out his hands for Light to see, intended as a sign he meant no harm, "I know this looks bad," he said, "But I assure you that whatever you are thinking is wrong."
Light frowned slightly. His grip tightened on the railing, regarding this man with suspicion. "I don't mean to be rude, but you have a slight accent. You aren't Japanese, are you?"
The man shook his head. "No, I'm American," he said, and Light picked up on his forced attempt at remaining casual and easing the tension between them. "My mother's Japanese, though."
If he's trying to build a positive rapport with me, he must not want to risk me telling anyone. "Do you have anything that will prove to me that you aren't some criminal looking to use me as a way of getting to my father?" Light asked. "You can't be a professional and be this sloppy."
Indignation crossed the man's face for only a fleeting moment, but by the time he had corrected his error, Light already understood his situation. A small bluff was all it took to confirm his suspicions.
But his remark had stunned the man into silence, so Light decided to press for more information and bring him back to the present, "Well, do you?"
The man remained silent for a while more, no doubt considering his options and any way he could get out of this, before coming to the realization there was nothing he could do. He heaved a sigh, pulling something out of his pocket and passing it to Light, "You want proof? Here."
Light examined what he had been given, and he had to consciously maintain a blank expression when he realized it was a badge. Not just any badge... FBI?! So L's using the FBI to probe the NPA... Name, Raye Penber.
He pressed the button on his phone in his pocket. "Got a gun?"
Raye's brows furrowed, seemingly puzzled by the question. He scanned Light's blank expression for any sign of his motivation before deciding that answering honestly would benefit him in this situation. "Yes, I do."
Light's eyes widened. He took a step back, his back pressed against the railing, one hand curling around the cold metal. He tried to search for the gun, but it remained concealed, blending in with Raye's black clothing.
"Don't worry," Raye held out his hands again, pointedly away from his sides. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm actually on a top-secret mission, but if the Japanese police..."
Light nodded meekly, "It would certainly be a problem for L if the police found out the FBI was tailing them." He adjusted himself slightly, but he didn't move from the railing, "Have you been tailing the rest of my family? Or were you assigned to just me?"
"I'm afraid I can't reveal classified information like that. Even talking to you like this is breaking protocol," Raye said. He dared a single step closer to Light. "I only approached you because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea and inform your father."
"I understand," Light examined the badge clenched in his hand, handing it back to Raye, "I have to say... I feel sorry for you. You were just the poor bastard who happened to cross me when I needed an opening."
Panic immediately crossed Raye's features, followed soon after by the immediate realization he had made a horrible mistake. "What are you talking about?"
Light scrutinized Raye's clothing, determining in seconds that he had no cameras or other recording devices on his person, and that was when his facade of fear morphed into a serpentine smirk. "You haven't heard the sirens coming closer to us?" He urged Raye to listen, and he watched Raye's eyes widen when he realized what he had passed off as white noise was rapidly coming closer. "See, I couldn't call the police myself without causing trouble for my father, not to mention I didn't have proof you were going to do anything to me," he slid a hand into his pocket, holding up his phone, "You just admitted you had a gun where a friend of mine could hear and call the police for me."
"You—?!"
Light chuckled, "Did you really think I was going to confront my stalker without a plan in mind? You underestimated me," he narrowed his eyes, unable to suppress the emotion he had kept hidden. "You have no idea how far I am willing to go."
Raye took a fast step directly at Light. "Wait—!"
Light put back on that panicked demeanor, pressing himself against the railing as much as possible, raising his voice so it could be heard across the area. "Stay away from me!"
He had calculated this. All it took was one bad move of his feet, and—Light yelped, flipping over the railing and crashing head-first into the river below.
The shock of the winter waters caused Light to forcefully exhale, and only his own mental preparations saved him from involuntarily gasping and drowning himself in the cold waters. He had to keep fighting against his own body as the cold seeped into his bones, letting himself drift through the water as he tried and failed to get his bearings and force his limbs to move again.
He had seen his peers jump into this river for fun during the late springs and summers. He had never joined in with those games, but he had witnessed it enough times to know which bridge to jump or fall off of to minimize any damages. Minimize... but he knew winter was the worst time to do this without a plan.
He couldn't have been under the water for long, as his lungs only started burning from lack of oxygen moments before a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his torso, wrenching his body out of the water and onto the grass.
"Light?" Those hands shook him frantically, "Light?!"
Light tried to put on a smile, but his body lurched, rolling onto his side and coughing up enough water that his head spun. He wiped his mouth, his hands shaking too much to properly move. "Thanks... Daiki..." He had no doubt Yamamoto could save him from this. They had been former fencing rivals long enough that Light was well aware of how strong Yamamoto was. By having him hide by the edge of the river where he could easily pull him out, Light wouldn't need to worry about drowning.
He didn't realize he wasn't paying attention to the world around him until he felt Yamamoto wrapping him in his heavy jacket. Yamamoto's hands slid under his knees and his back, pulling himself to his feet with Light in his arms. "Stay awake for me, okay? I'll get you to the hospital."
This was humiliating, but Light didn't protest like he normally would. He rested his head on Yamamoto's shoulder. Exactly as planned...
OoOoO
Soichiro's pen clattered to the floor.
Aizawa looked up from his documents, about to ask what was wrong. His stomach dropped once he saw the color had drained from Soichiro's face, his hand shaking as he held his phone in a death grip.
"I... I understand. I'll be there immediately," Soichiro hung up the call and got to his feet, moving faster than Aizawa had ever seen him go, grabbing his bag only to get his car keys and making a beeline for the door.
Matsuda jumped up instinctively, trying to reach for Soichiro and figure out what was going on. "Chief, what's wrong?"
Soichiro hesitated in the doorway, realizing he owed his officers an explanation. "That was the Metropolitan Police Department. It seems an FBI agent had been tailing my son for days on a so-called 'secret mission.' He was arrested with a notepad stating he had been tailing my family and had planned to tail the Kitamura family next." His grip tightened on the doorknob, "I will be discussing the matter strongly with the FBI when I return, but right now, my son is in the hospital."
Soichiro left without another word or giving anyone time to react to that statement, and Aizawa noticed Watari slip away to leave only seconds after him.
The moment both were gone, the room quickly descended into chaos of conversation. Volume increased at a rapid pace, stemming from panic for themselves and their families, as well as concern for what could have happened to Light that landed him in the hospital.
And that was what Aizawa wanted to know as well... He shared a worried look with Ide, both of them wordlessly asking the other what this could mean. Had the agent attacked Light? What could have happened that led to an operation like this leading to someone being hospitalized? Light was a smart, durable kid. How had that happened?!
...
L had been asleep on the floor when the beeping from his computer had him shooting awake. He rubbed his head, fighting the dark spots in his vision that threatened to make his head spin. I must have overdone it in the last few days... He answered the call, expecting it to be Watari, but he was surprised to find the voice he heard instead was that of Director Mason.
"L... I just got word from Japan that our entire operation has been compromised," Director Mason said. "One of our agents is currently in custody with the Japanese Metropolitan Police."
What? L bit down on his thumb, but he controlled any reaction he may have had as he responded with his usual monotone demeanor, "Please try to stay calm and listen to me. Can you tell me exactly what happened to compromise the investigation?"
"I am still working on getting the details myself, but one of the people you requested be tailed realized they were being followed and had our agent arrested."
L hummed thoughtfully, nodding along with what he was being told. "So, this has nothing to do with Kira..."
"No, it doesn't appear that way for now." Director Mason hesitated before coming to some kind of decision. "L... I'm sorry, but... I'm terminating the investigation in Japan. It's true that Kira has caused more damage in the United States than anywhere else, but with the current political climate, this could cause irreparable damage. The decision to send them over there was made by me alone. I'm going to be questioned by Congress over this. And... I'm a well-known man... My face is public property. I don't want to be killed... The FBI is pulling out of Japan."
L knew Director Mason's final point made some sense. Kira's intentions were not yet clear, and he had not shown one way or another whether he would harm those opposing him. However, if he were willing to go that far, he would be more likely to target the Director of the FBI instead of the agent who had been following orders. The agents were probably safe, but the Director was not. L had been confident enough in that notion that he had considered the risk worth it since the main likely casualty was in the line of fire regardless of the situation, but it didn't seem Director Mason agreed with that sentiment.
He wasn't given a chance to respond before he heard another voice on the other side of the line. "Sir, you have a call from Detective Superintendent Yagami on line two."
Director Mason groaned. "Here's a phone call from the Japanese task force already... I'm telling them the FBI was there at your request, L... Is that understood? Goodbye."
The line went dead, leaving L alone in frustrated silence. Didn't he realize he was going to be killed whether he pulled out or not?
That didn't matter now. L had suspected something like this would happen, just not the way this had played out. He bent down at his computer to call Watari. "Watari. Do you have any further information on who exposed this operation?"
Watari responded almost immediately. "Yes, that was confirmed before I received the call from the Director of the FBI," he said. "The boy was Superintendent Yagami's son, Light Yagami."
Light Yagami... L pulled open another tab, unsure what he expected to find as he typed the boy's name into the search engine. He certainly had not expected to find multiple resources, speaking of a boy with a genius intellect who had assisted the NPA on cases even in his teenage years.
Curiosity getting the better of him, L couldn't resist searching for a photo of this boy. As his eyes settled on that beautiful boy for the first time, he noticed something else. Something that had him leaning forward eagerly. Interesting...
OoOoO
Sachiko adjusted the multiple warm blankets wrapped around Light, checking the IV in his hand to make sure it hadn't moved. "Here," she handed him some hot tea, resting her hand on his. "You gave me and your father quite a fright. I am proud of you for making a plan and taking the situation into your own hands, but you could have been seriously hurt. Anything could have gone wrong..." She had a faraway look in her eyes, but she snapped back to reality before Light could ask about it, "You can always ask me for help, baby, and I will take care of them without it being any trouble for your father."
Light managed a small smile, grateful the back of his hospital bed had been propped up so he could at least pretend to be sitting up. "I know, Mom... If it helps, I did ask for help from Yamamoto." Yamamoto may not have known falling into the river was part of the plan and not an accident, but everything had worked out.
Sachiko chuckled softly, but her features and voice remained firm, "Don't try to pull that with me. That's different, and you know it is," she chided him. "There were other ways to go about this without putting yourself in danger. Your father is worried sick, and he is right to be."
He sighed, "I know, Mom," he wrapped the blankets tighter around himself as he turned away from her, "I thought a lot about what I was doing and what this could cause in the investigation... This had the best outcome."
He heard the sound of the door opening, and Light turned back to see who it was. He had expected to see Dad, but the man standing in the doorway instead didn't surprise him either. Another man in a dark trench coat, but this one had his face almost completely concealed. His only defining trait was the laptop he held in his hands. "Good day," he said, his attention focused solely on Light. His voice was calm, and he had a slight accent Light couldn't quite place. "Light Yagami, I would like to speak with you alone."
Mom immediately stood up, resting her hand at the foot of the bed and placing herself between this stranger and her son. "You're not going to come even one step closer to him."
Light forced himself to sit up, grabbing her wrist, "Mom, don't worry. I was expecting this. Given everything that happened and what it means for the investigation, it's only natural I will be questioned," to prove his point, he was perfectly calm as he looked over at the man in the doorway, "You're Watari, correct?"
Mom spun around to Watari with obvious surprise. Her alarm didn't dissipate, but she squeezed her eyes shut, going against every parental instinct she had to listen to her son's request and step out, "Watari-San, I strongly advise leaving before my husband gets off the phone with the FBI." She closed the door behind her, leaving Light and Watari alone in silence.
Light tried to get a feel for what Watari was thinking, and he decided to maintain an innocent expression for the time being. "You aren't the one who wants to speak to me, are you?"
Watari shook his head, opening the laptop that moments later came alive with L's emblem. His voice was everything Light imagined from him. "Hello, Light Yagami. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Light relaxed against the back of his hospital bed. Finally, I have a voice to associate with you. "You don't need to waste either of our time on pleasantries. I know why you're here."
"I had no doubt about that." Despite the voice distortion, L sounded almost amused. "You have caused me quite a problem. But you knew that before you exposed our operation, didn't you?"
He could hear it in L's voice. He knew what L's true feelings were toward the situation, but he continued playing this somewhat innocently in case he was wrong. "You were probing the NPA to see if any of them were Kira, which means this is only a problem to you on the surface," he adjusted himself, sitting up as much as he was able. "True, the task force is about to have a mass walk-out, but once that happens, that will leave you with only the officers who can be trusted... or leave Kira."
He could practically hear L grinning, so he allowed a bit more of his true feelings to be seen in his body language. "You're very perceptive, Light-Kun. But if that was all this was about, you wouldn't see a need to take the drastic measures you did. What was your real goal with all of this?"
Light smiled. There was no need to lie anymore. "I wanted to speak with you. This was the only way I could guarantee getting your attention without my father intervening," he gestured vaguely to the IV in his hand. "I planned multiple ways to go about this, but being in the hospital meant Watari would know where to find me."
"You're willing to risk your life if it means reaching your goals. Watari, bring me closer to him." Watari leaned closer, and Light stared at the camera curiously, and all of a sudden, the filter over L's voice dropped entirely. "It's just as I suspected. You are masterful at hiding it, Light-Kun, but you have a... certain look in your eyes."
Light tried to think of what L could be referring to. What do I...? He paused, it dawning on him that he wasn't specifying to prevent him from concealing it. "I'm sorry?"
"Don't be," L assured him. "I quite like that about you. How would you like to work on the investigation?"
Chapter Text
So... The FBI was probing members of the task force on L's orders.
Aizawa could barely make any sense of what had followed in the immediate aftermath of that revelation. The entire room had erupted in a cacophony of voices, people shouting over one another at the top of their lungs, unleashing their ever-growing distrust for L that had only strengthened by the actions that left Light in the hospital. The chaos combined with the Superintendent's family emergency had cut the work day unexpectedly short, and Aizawa wasn't foolish enough to believe even half of his coworkers would be coming in tomorrow.
There was one good thing about that, and it was that the walkout had given Aizawa time to work in the comfort of his own office, and have some time to himself to collect his thoughts about what had happened. From what Soichiro had said in the brief time he had returned from the hospital to inform them that Light was alive, Light had set a trap for the agent tailing him and led him to the police. The details of how he ended up in the river remained to be seen, but Soichiro's behavior didn't line up with a father whose son had been attacked. He seemed more worried than anything else, and that worry had been enough to distract him from the case.
Had Light… fallen into the river intentionally? That was the only interpretation that would explain Soichiro's behavior, and if Light had the capacity to make such a scheme to lure out the one tailing him, it wasn't impossible.
But that left far more questions than it did answers. What would motivate Light to take that kind of action? There was a difference between being willing to lure his stalker to the police and throwing himself into an icy river. I must be overthinking things. Light must have simply prepared for that possibility. That doesn't mean he did it on purpose. Why would Light go that far…?
Aizawa chuckled to himself, breathing in the cool night air from the open window. That had been the only moment of relief today. The news of Light's scheme had spread through headquarters like wildfire. Everywhere he went, he heard talks of his coworkers praising the boy who would become a brilliant agent one day if he could pull that off at only seventeen. People were already trying to claim him for their respective bureaus. Aizawa could only imagine the intense debates that would ensue if Light had indeed prepared for falling into the river.
But that wasn't the only talk going through headquarters that day. He had heard the rumors that Kira was going to kill the agent who had been following Light, and even if he wanted to pretend those discussions weren't happening, he knew he had to do something about them.
It hadn't been difficult to get the necessary information from the Metropolitan police, and within moments of having the name, Aizawa had pulled up the file with all the information he would need on Raye Penber. He bit his thumb as he read over the documents. Why hadn't the FBI tried to delete this? Shouldn't that have been the first thing they had done to at least try to save this man's life?
He fidgeted with the buttons on his sleeves. Killing Raye Penber had never been his plan, but he couldn't tell if they were aware of that or were overlooking a crucial detail. Still, if he was looking over this file anyway, he may as well see what information he could glean from it. He scrolled down the file, brows furrowing when he noticed a name recorded of his fiancé. Naomi Misora.
He wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to see what he could find from searching up her name. What he found... I certainly dodged a bullet.
Naomi Misora. A former first-rate FBI Agent who had previously worked on the Los Angeles BB serial murder case under L. She left the FBI less than three months ago in anticipation of marriage.
A quiet groan escaped Aizawa's lips. "Don't make that mistake, Naomi." He could easily see her coming out of retirement to avenge her fiancé if he were to kill Raye Penber. He read through her credentials again, and his eyes fell on the image next to her profile. If he was honest with himself… he would have been excited to work with someone like her in any other case. Any other case that wouldn't involve her coming for his head.
"I'm back, and I have food and coffee for both of us." Aizawa turned away from his computer. Ide was standing behind him, holding up the bag of takeout from the Lotteria down the street from headquarters. "I also have the change." He set one of the coffees down next to Aizawa alongside some leftover yen, leaning forward to read the documents on Aizawa's computer. "What did you learn about Penber?"
"I learned more about his fiancé than anything." He turned his screen so Ide could have a better view, taking the opportunity with Ide distracted to slip the leftover yen back into Ide's pocket. Ide hummed to himself as he read through her credentials, before nodding approvingly. "Raye Penber isn't any kind of threat to us." Aizawa sighed, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "But we still have a problem…"
"About everyone expecting you to kill him?"
"Yeah… that." He shook his head, resting his forehead in the palm of his hand. "I don't have a problem leaving anyone trying to catch me alone. I don't want to hurt anyone." His eyes wandered back to the documents again. "But… People are already talking. If I do nothing, that's practically broadcasting to L that I'm a member of law enforcement. If he didn't suspect it before, he would if I still did nothing." Aizawa quickly changed the tab. He didn't want to look at those profiles for longer than he had to. "I had been investigating the Director of the FBI for corruption before this, so it wouldn't be sending a direct message if I were to go after him instead."
Ide already knew what he was going to say. "But you're hesitating because America has backed out of the Kira investigation… for now, at least." He turned his head slightly to better see Aizawa and analyze his expression. "You already know my opinions about all of this. Are you asking me if you should kill someone to make an example?" He grimaced, rubbing the bridge of his nose and stepping away from the desk, checking and double checking the office door was shut and locked. "Damnit. That would be a way to separate from the profile of doing nothing just enough while remaining hidden." He looked over at Aizawa again. "You are the one who started this. I may be willing to help you and give you my opinions, but I will never tell you to kill someone. There are both advantages and disadvantages to killing the Director. It's your call."
"Why did I know you were going to say that?" Aizawa glanced around the room for any sign of Ryuk. What would he think about this? But the Shinigami was nowhere to be found, preoccupied doing what Aizawa had asked him to and checking on Eriko. Shinigami law forbade him from telling Aizawa anything about lifespans outside of vague yet ominous statements, but he could report back if Eriko was upset or in any physical distress with her pregnancy so close to its end. That was all Aizawa needed to know anyway…
He turned back to his computer, rereading everything he had gathered on the FBI Director over the past weeks of quiet investigation. There were countless shady dealings in the White House going back decades, and the vast majority of them were able to be traced back to the FBI concealing information. That entire organization had been corrupted practically beyond repair, and while that wasn't anything unique to the United States, that meant there was something Aizawa could do about it.
"He falls under my MO," Aizawa said. "I'm not deviating from it by taking him out." He turned around in his seat to face Ide. "I'll only do it once the FBI involvement becomes public in the media, because with Light in the hospital, they're not going to sweep that under the rug. Governments might try to suppress the story, but by the time they do, it will be too late." He gestured vaguely to the documents. "This goes beyond the Kira case. If I want to create a better world, I eventually would have done this. Killing him now is just fixing two problems at once."
Ide nodded stiffly in response, but his strained expression softened as he caught sight of the sorrow etched on Aizawa's face. "These still aren't easy decisions for you to make?"
"No. How could they be?" Aizawa asked. "This decision is about a human life."
"True…" Ide rested his hand on Aizawa's shoulder. "If you think this is the right decision, I will stand by you. We all have to make difficult choices for the sake of what we believe is right." He reached into the bag and passed him the container with a burger. Aizawa stared down at the meal that had seemed so appealing barely an hour ago, but now made his stomach churn at even the thought of taking a bite.
He could only let out a quiet sigh, barely audible in the silence. "I know…" He leaned forward, resting his head against the desk, "I just hope this will all be worth it."
OoOoO
"So…" Sayu rested her elbows on the table, holding her chin up with her hands. "Why the family meeting, Dad?"
"Be quiet, Sayu…" Sachiko chided. Soichiro's lips pressed tightly together. He could see the way her fingers curled into a tight grip on her pants. She wasn't saying anything about Sayu's improper posture, either. She must have heard the news, or she had figured it out on her own...
He rested a hand on top of hers underneath the table. "There's no point dancing around the topic anymore," he said. "After what happened to Light… I should be direct with all of you and make sure you understand the situation. I'm in charge of the special task force that's investigating the Kira case."
"Huh?" Sayu's brows furrowed, then her face lit up as realization dawned on her. She chuckled, resting her hands behind her head. "We really have been beating around the bush about that, haven't we? I guess I kind of knew, but still… You're amazing, Dad!"
Soichiro sighed. If only that was all… "But that isn't what I want to tell you." His eyes fell on Light sitting across from him. He had been discharged from the hospital that morning after staying overnight for observation. That night had gone on for so long. So agonizingly long. The beeping of the heart monitor and constant low humming of machines… the IVs hooked up to his son… He had taken all the dwindling energy he had to hide it, to keep himself together until he could no longer hold back the panic attack that had been building over the last twenty-four hours. Nobody needed to know that was why he shut himself in his office for as much of the day as he could afford. Nobody needed to know.
He shouldn't have needed to handle that problem in his work office. If he could afford it, he would have chosen to stay home from work until Light was well, but that wasn't a luxury he had… He should be grateful Light had the strength to join them for dinner.
Light slowly blinked, his eyes lifting from his meal to meet his gaze, and in those eyes, Soichiro could see his lack of regret. Light had not told him all the details of what happened, but Soichiro could deduce on his own what had been left out. He couldn't even be mad about the lengths Light had gone to. If he had been in Light's position, he knew that he would have done the same. He couldn't fault his son for that.
But maybe this would help Light stop obsessing over this case. Just because he didn't blame Light didn't mean he wanted him involved. "As you are aware, FBI agents were sent to Japan to probe the members of the Japanese task force," Soichiro said. "A few hours ago, almost immediately after the story of what happened to Light was broadcast in the media, the Director of the FBI was found dead."
"You mean he was killed by Kira…?" Light asked.
Sayu whipped around to her brother with enough force that her hair fell in her face. His impassive tone, devoid of any emotion beyond mild intrigue, caused her to take pause before fully comprehending what he had said. As soon as she did, her face turned pale. "What?!"
Soichiro nodded grimly. "We are still trying to determine if this was a coincidence or if this was the first direct statement Kira has made, but with no way to confirm that without talking to Kira…" He absently fidgeted with his chopsticks, before catching himself and setting them down. "We are working under the assumption the head of any investigation trying to apprehend Kira may be killed."
"The head of the investigation?" Light asked. He straightened noticeably in his seat, that familiar spark of interest alighting in his eyes, and any trace of exhaustion he had shown moments ago all but disappeared. "That would mean Raye Penber wasn't killed."
"That's right," Soichiro said. "No harm has come to him. Not yet, at least." He bowed his head, memories flashing behind his eyes before he squeezing his eyes shut to push them down. "Regardless, morale is low. A lot of my detectives are quitting the case, both from fear for their own lives and disgust with L for having us tailed. And who can blame them? I can't force them to stay on. Not after everything that's happened."
Sayu jumped forward, leaning with her arms spread along the table. "Then you should quit too, Dad! What if he tries to kill you?"
"She's right. Your life is more important than your career," Sachiko said. "All you have to do is resign. After what happened to Light, you have more than enough reason to say you can no longer work with L." She squeezed his thigh under the table, holding it there for a long moment. "I'm sure Kitamura wouldn't be upset either."
"It's too late for that."
Sachiko and Sayu both spun around, their gaze settling on Light with his head low. Their eyes widened in matching expressions of horror as the weight of his words began to sink in, only made worse as Light pulled the oversized jacket he was wearing tighter around himself.
"That's what you're trying to tell us. Right, Dad?" Light asked, but Soichiro could tell it wasn't a genuine question. "The Director of the FBI was killed, not the agent who blew the entire operation. If Kira just established he is willing to kill the head to the investigation, not the agents themselves, it doesn't matter if Dad resigns from actively working on the case, because his job as Superintendent means he is the one in charge of the task force." He glanced over at his mother and sister. "He would have to quit the NPA altogether, and even then…"
Soichiro forced a small chuckle. "I can't get anything past you." That statement alone was all the confirmation Light needed. "Yes, that's exactly right. There are people above me who could be to blame should it come to that, but I have no intention of hiding the fact that this is a risk I will face from now on." He folded his hands on top of one another, his eyes settling on the wedding band adorning his finger. "Even if that were not the case, I would see this case through to the end. I will not succumb to evil."
Tears welled up in Sayu's eyes. "Dad…"
Sachiko's hand rested over her mouth, concealing enough of her face to hide the extent of her pain. "Dear…" His heart ached, watching her slowly shrinking down. She knew as well as he did that there was nothing that could be done.
But Light remained silent. His head hung low, his bangs curtaining off his eyes and giving Soichiro some trouble reading him. He was about to ask if Light was alright when Light suddenly looked up, a smile spreading across his face.
"I'm proud of you, Dad. You're absolutely right." Light picked up his plate and quietly set it in the sink, and Soichiro could only watch as he started walking toward the door to return to his room, the subtle sway in his gait the only thing to betray his exhaustion. "If anything happens to you, Dad…" he stopped in the doorway, his knuckles turning white from his grip on the frame. "I'll see that Kira gets the death penalty. I swear it."
OoOoO
Aizawa adjusted his grip on the wooden paintbrush in his hand, the quiet brushstrokes and the occasional grunt of discomfort filling the void of relative silence. His hand moved instinctively to the right places, different shades of blue paint from royal to dark navy blending together to replicate the night sky, yet he could find little joy in the simple action that should have brought him some semblance of peace.
He hated the feeling of paint drying onto the side of his hand. He had never enjoyed it, but now the wet substance reminded him too much of blood. The dull aches in his muscles from sitting on the wooden floors too long had subsided, only lingering in the back of his head, but he could feel his eyelids growing heavy, and he fought against the urge to lean his head against the wall and close his eyes.
He couldn't do that… Even as the clock downstairs chimed to remind him of the late hour, he couldn't stop until he had finished the task he set out to complete. Why had they waited so long to finish setting up the nursery for the baby? Something about paint colors on the walls, and Eriko had wanted to know if they were having a son or daughter before any decisions were made on the curtains. Aizawa was content to let Eriko handle anything in relation to design. All he needed to do was rebuild the old nursery furniture they had put away years ago, and touch up the painted designs on the crib that had faded with the test of time.
Only a few more brush strokes were necessary to be done with the painting along the crib, and knowing he was so close to done made it easier to will himself to complete the finishing touches. Almost as soon as the final shooting star was complete, the paintbrush slipped from his fingertips and into the cup of murky water by his side. He hastily wiped off any excess paint coating his hands on a spare towel he would wash in the morning, setting both the towel and the glass on a side table beside the various wrenches and screwdrivers should he need them later.
"There we go…" Aizawa glanced over his shoulder, warmth swelling in his chest as he laid eyes on Yumi asleep in the rocking chair at the corner of the room. Her face was smushed against the cushion, and a heavy-duty textbook lay open at her side, where it had fallen out of her lap when she curled into a ball. He didn't want to wake her, so he did his best to pull her into his arms without causing her to stir. "Let's get you to bed…"
"Hm?" Yumi yawned, sleepily opening her eyes as her head rested against his shoulder. "Are you done?" She shifted in his hold, making a grabby-motion towards her textbook. "I should grab my book…"
Aizawa chuckled softly. "I'll get it for you." He reached down to grab the book, only to pause as he recognized what it was. "Anatomy and Pathology…? What are you reading this for?"
"My teachers keep talking about how Kira can kill with so many heart attacks," Yumi said. She took the textbook from his hand and held it close to her chest. "They sounded weird, so I got a book from the library to find out myself."
I need to have a word with her teachers. What the hell…? "Sweetie, you shouldn't be worrying about these things," he said, raising his hand to run his fingers through her hair and soothe her back to sleep. "This case will be over before you're done growing up. You should focus your attention on something else, like your studies or spending time with your friends."
"It's okay. I like reading about this stuff," Yumi yawned again, shifting so she could see where he had finished painting. "Pretty…" she pointed toward the blank white wall behind the crib. "My friends were saying we should paint a picture on the wall. What do you think the baby will like?"
"I don't know," Aizawa said. He turned around to stare at the wall alongside Yumi, bouncing her in his arms. "We should probably meet him before making any judgement calls about what he likes. His favorite color could be bright pink for all we know." Yumi giggled, her laughter so infectious that Aizawa couldn't help but laugh as well, and he needed to force himself to quiet down. "Come on, it's almost midnight. We should tuck you in to bed. You need to be well-rested for when your brother arrives."
Yumi let out another yawn, louder this time, and she didn't fight against him as he brought her to her room and tucked her into bed. "When is the baby coming?" She asked. "I can't wait for him to get here…"
"Soon, Yumi." Aizawa said. He gently brushed her hair out of her face, and the longer he stared down at her, at the innocence made obvious even in the way she breathed, his smile dampened. "Yumi… I don't want to talk to you about this, but… you know I get put in danger a lot, right?"
"Yeah?" Yumi sat up in bed, drowsily rubbing her eyes, but her gaze never leaving him. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"Not exactly…" He never wanted to have this conversation with her, but with everything going on, he didn't have much choice. "But this case is a little different from the other ones. There may come a day when your little brother needs a hand to hold, and I'm not there—Ide will be there, but I might be gone." Panic flashed in Yumi's eyes, and Aizawa cupped her cheek. "I would never burden you with this if I had another choice, and I don't think anything is going to happen, but just in case that day comes, can I trust you to make sure your brother is loved?"
A few stray tears slipped down Yumi's cheeks, causing Aizawa's heart to clench. He was almost ready to take it all back, when suddenly Yumi threw herself at him and wrapped him in a tight embrace. "Don't worry, Dad! The baby and I are going to be best friends!" She pressed herself as close to him as possible, craning her neck to look up at him as much as possible. "Just stay safe, okay?"
Aizawa let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and that smile returned to his face, returning his daughter's embrace in full. "Of course I will," he kissed the top of her head, slowly lowering her back down onto her pillow, "Get some sleep, okay? Do you want me to turn on your nightlight?"
"I'm okay," Yumi said. She turned herself onto her side, watching him as he left her room. "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too," Aizawa closed the door behind him, and his eyes widened as he locked eyes with the person who had been standing just out of sight. Any safety he may have felt moments ago died in his chest, replaced entirely by dread clenching his insides. "Eriko… What are you doing up…?"
Eriko's lips pressed into a thin line. "If you want to know, I was getting myself some evening tea." Her arms remained tightly crossed against her chest, her stare burning into his being, and Aizawa had to look away. "Why did you say all of that to Yumi?"
"It was just a precaution," Aizawa said. He tried to force himself to meet her stare, but even catching a glimpse of her face made his breathing shake. All he could do was try to move their conversation away from Yumi's door. "She's almost nine years old. She's old enough to figure these things out, and her teachers have been talking about it."
Eriko scoffed, each step purposeful as she followed after him. "Of course, and you just had to make me out to be the bad guy."
"What—How?" Aizawa's brows furrowed, hurriedly shaking his head in an attempt to reassure her. "No! I made sure not to say anything like that. I don't think I mentioned you at all… Did I?" He replayed his conversation with Yumi in his head. No. He hadn't said anything like that. "You love our children as much as I do. I know that. How did I make you out to be the bad guy?"
Eriko narrowed her eyes, making the hair on the back of Aizawa's neck stand on end. "You were preparing Yumi for your death and telling her to rely on Ide? Not telling her she can rely on me? You're removing me from her life!"
"That's not what I meant," Aizawa insisted, practically pleaded. He dared to take a step closer to her. "I promise you, that's not what I meant. I just know that being a parent is a lot of work, and if something happens to me, you might need some help. I know how tired you've been just with Yumi, so two—"
He heard it before he felt it. The back of Eriko's hand struck him hard across the face, the sound reverberating through the hallway.
He staggered backward into the wall, his cheek burning from the force of her hand. He could feel everywhere her ring had connected, and he was left with his back pressed against the wall as Eriko got closer and closer.
"You need to stop highlighting my weakness to hide from the fact this is your fault," she seethed. She stared down at Aizawa, desperately trying to steady himself, his hand grasping onto the wall for support. His eyes were wide enough she could see the whites, still reeling from the force of her blow, but that only seemed to irritate her. She balled her fist, ready to strike again. "Do you seriously not realize this is your fault? We wouldn't be having any of these problems if you listened to me—talked to me! If you gave up your job that keeps putting your life on the line, we could be normal, but you keep being selfish and not doing anything!"
"…"
"Well?" She rested her hand on her hip. He could tell she was growing impatient. "Aren't you going to say something?"
Aizawa's eyes glazed over. He pulled himself to his feet, his eyes finally resting on Eriko. But he wasn't looking at her. He wasn't looking at anything, really. "Goodnight, Eriko. I will make breakfast for Yumi. I doubt I will be home for dinner." He stepped past her into his room without another word, not giving her even a moment to react before he shut and locked the door.
Ryuk had been lounging on Aizawa's bed, watching the television on the lowest volume, but he must have overheard the conversation outside, because something akin to a worried look had crossed his face. "You okay? She got you pretty good."
Aizawa's hand slowly raised to his cheek, his fingers brushing against where her hand had made contact with his skin. "I…" He walked into the bathroom, and his heart sank as he laid eyes on the bruise already beginning to form. Small splotches of darker discoloration showed where her ring had struck instead of her hand. Not breaking the skin, but just the slightest bit more force would have left him with a nasty mark he wouldn't be able to hide.
He replayed the previous conversation with Eriko in his head. Could he have said something different to avoid this? He couldn't even think of anything as phantom hands slapped him across the face, causing something inside him to break. I can't do this anymore… He collapsed to his knees, a gut-wrenching sob escaping his throat, his hands gripping the edge of the bathroom counter so tight it felt like the bones in his fingers might snap.
"Did I do something wrong? Did I make her out to be the bad guy…?" He asked into the empty air, releasing his grip on the counter and falling back against the wall. He was so tired, the thought of moving away from the wall was unbearable. He couldn't tell if he was crying anymore. It didn't matter. "I didn't mean to. She wouldn't hurt the kids… She loves the kids… right?"
Ryuk crouched down beside him, cocking his head to the side as he considered the best course of action. He settled on awkwardly patting the top of Aizawa's head. "You didn't do anything wrong," he said, as he had many times before in the weeks they had known one another. He grumbled something under his breath that Aizawa couldn't make out as he helped him up onto his feet. "Go to bed. If you don't mind, I'm going to keep watching my show."
"That's fine…" Aizawa looked down at his clothes. Dark blue pajama pants and a simple grey t-shirt. That was fine. He hadn't used the Death Note tonight like he planned, but the notebook was the furthest thing from his mind as he climbed into bed with his back to Ryuk. The bed was cold… He wrapped the blankets tighter around himself, reaching his arm out only to grab the small bottle of sleeping pills off his nightstand. His fingertips brushed against it, causing the entire bottle to tip over. Aizawa grimaced, reaching out further to pick up the bottle, and pulling it back under the blankets with him.
He lay there in the darkness for a long while, staring blankly down at the label but unable to read what it said. He didn't need to read it, so there was nothing stopping him from laying there as long as he wanted while holding the bottle close to his chest, until he could will himself to unscrew the lid and take the medication that would allow him to drift off into a dreamless sleep.
And if he took one or two more pills than the recommended dosage, nobody needed to know.
Everything will be okay… Everything will be okay…
OoOoO
"I won't pretend I haven't heard the discussions all of you have been having behind my back." Soichiro's voice cut through the monotonous work flow that everyone had fallen into. All eyes turned to the Superintendent, his hands neatly folded atop one another and his back perfectly straight. His voice remained calm yet firm, only made stronger by the grim determination in his eyes. "All of us could be murdered by Kira. The death of Director Mason of the FBI may have been a coincidence, but it could just as well have set the precedent that Kira's targets are not restricted in the way we thought before."
Aizawa raised his eyes from the documents he had been reading through, cross-checking the details of the MO everyone knew of, but was too afraid to voice. I was wondering when this conversation would happen. This was sooner than he had expected, but as he glanced around the room at the scattered empty seats, he could understand exactly why.
Soichiro was more than aware of that, and he made no attempt to hide it. "Think about your own lives, and about your families and your friends," he said. "If you want out of the investigation, you're free to leave. Quitting the task force will not lead to demotion. I've already spoken to the Deputy Director-General about this. Only those who are ready and willing to sacrifice everything and fight, who are truly committed to stopping this murderer… are asked to remain." He stood up from his seat, leaning his hands against the desk. "I'll find out who you are when I return at five o'clock from my meeting upstairs."
Sparing a quick glance at his watch, Soichiro left without another word, leaving the office in tense silence of people exchanging looks with one another. Aizawa curiously watched his peers closest to him and their body language. Within moments, he was able to identify the ones waiting for Soichiro to be a respectful distance away before they dared move, unable to bear seeing his expression should he see them unwilling to fight for what was right.
"Three… two…"
As soon as he reached 'one,' almost everyone individually got up from their seats, though Aizawa would have believed that action to be rehearsed with how in-sync everyone was.
He heard a voice behind him, surprised to see he wasn't moving. "Aizawa? You're not coming?"
"Hm?" He turned around, finding Sakai watching him with a pensive look on his face. He wasn't going to move until he was given an answer, so Aizawa shrugged. "Oh. You know I've always been close with Superintendent Yagami. He will need all the help he can get if he plans to stay on the case."
Sakai's brow furrowed. "Don't you have kids?" He looked over at Mogi on the other end of the room, and he too wasn't moving from his seat. "You too, Mogi. You have a daughter, don't you?" He looked between both Mogi and Aizawa with increasing disbelief. "You both could be killed…"
Mogi kept his head down, but he said nothing to combat Sakai's statement.
Mogi had a daughter? That was certainly new information. Considering how little Mogi spoke, Aizawa couldn't help but be slightly surprised Sakai, of all people, knew that.
Ide chuckled good-naturedly. "Don't worry, I'll look after them," he said, his hand resting on Aizawa's shoulder. "I've been keeping this one alive for over fifteen years. What's one more?"
Aizawa managed to quietly chuckle, looking past Ide and sending a nod towards Mogi. "Good to have you here, Mogi." Mogi managed a small smile.
Sakai continued looking between group of people who remained behind, before ultimately realizing nothing he could say would dissuade them. "If you insist, it's not like I can stop you…" he turned on his heel to leave, as everyone else had long since fled. "We'll welcome you back once you realize this is a bad idea." He shut the door loudly behind him, leaving only six people in the room where there had once been over a hundred.
"…Thank you."
Ide perked up, scanning the room to find the source of the quiet voice. He took only a second to realize it was Mogi, who had taken a seat at one of the computers closer to him and Aizawa. Ide softened, leaning forward against the desk. "Don't mention it," he said. "It never gets easier trying to explain to people that you're willing to take those kinds of risks."
"I still can't believe this basically confirms Kira's real," Ukita pulled out the chair nearest Aizawa and Ide, not hesitating to sit down beside them while fidgeting with the pen in his hand. "What kind of coincidence would it be if Kira didn't exist?"
Aizawa's brows furrowed. "You didn't think Kira exists?"
"No, I believed it," Ukita said. "But I kind of thought we would be left not knowing one way or another until we actually caught him." He looked over his shoulder, calling out to the last person besides Watari who hadn't joined them. "Hey, Matsuda! You don't have to sit in the back anymore. Come join us up here."
Matsuda hadn't moved from the desk he had been assigned, scribbling something down on a piece of paper with a speed that made Aizawa wonder if the contents would even be legible. Only once he was done did he look up to acknowledge them, grinning from ear to ear in a manner that was slightly awkward yet charming all the same. "Just a second. I want to finish some work before the Chief gets back." He held up a thin packet Aizawa quickly recognized as the incomplete profile Light had apparently been working on. His findings had only been revealed to the task force the first time that morning, after being approved by L, despite Soichiro's noticeable reluctance. "This is incredible. How did Light come up with all of this?"
That's what I want to know as well. How did Light come to the conclusions he did without access to the investigation? Aizawa had made sure not to leave any evidence, yet Light had somehow managed to correctly narrow down the age range for the person they were looking for. He had refrained from reading through it beyond what would be expected of him, but he knew the contents of that packet better than anyone, and it had left him with far more questions than answers. Does Light have access to the investigation?
Ukita held up his own copy of the packet, waving it around in the air without paying much attention to where it went. "Actually, why isn't Light on the investigation with us?" he asked. "If he was able to come up with a profile so convincing that even L approved of it, why doesn't he just join us on the case?"
"No father would want their son working on a case where his life could be on the line," Aizawa said. "Light's been through enough as it is." Even thinking about a world where his children could end up in that much danger made Aizawa feel ill. He could understand perfectly why Soichiro appeared as sleepless as he was, and from the look on Mogi's face in the corner of his eye, he could understand that as well…
There wasn't much else to say beyond that, and everyone sat in silence with nothing but the hum of computers and the ticking clock for company. Aizawa shot a glance behind him at Watari at the back of the room, sitting so still that Aizawa would have mistaken him for a statue if he didn't know better. Under the heavy-duty trench coat, it was hard to tell if the man was even breathing.
Ryuk lingered just to the side of Watari, bending down to get close to Watari's face. He cocked his head to the side, contemplating poking Watari with one of his long claws before deciding against it. "Is he going to talk, or just sit there watching you?" Ryuk asked. "It's kind of creeping me out."
Aizawa didn't provide any answer to that question in his expression, turning around and letting out a soft sigh as his eyes slowly drifted closed. His cheek ached. He could still feel where Eriko's ring had made contact with his skin. He wanted to reach up and touch it, but he knew doing that would disturb the concealer he had over it.
They weren't doing anything. He could ignore the pain. Was it unprofessional… yes… but he was so tired…
He didn't get any time to allow his mind to fully slip away before he picked up the sound of familiar footsteps coming closer.
Aizawa jumped slightly in his seat, a jolt of adrenaline in his chest snapping away any lingering traces of sleep from his mind. He looked around the room, making sure not to draw any eyes as he turned his seat towards the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he checked the clock on the far wall. 17:00.
Soichiro opened the door, bracing himself to take in how few people remained. Though he masked it remarkably well, Aizawa noticed the split-second his facade slipped, allowing him to catch a glimpse of the resignation at the realization of how difficult this case was going to be.
Matsuda beamed as he saw him. He got up from his seat with his papers in his hand, his gleeful innocence never wavering. "Glad to have you back, Chief."
Soichiro leaned heavily against the door. "Just five…" he quickly shook himself. "No… I should say, as many as five of you are willing to lay your lives on the line." He tried to put on a small smile for his men's sake, pretend he had any type of optimism, but it fell only a moment later. He hurried past them and to his desk at the other end of the room, flipping through some papers he had left behind before his meeting. "With myself, that's six of us… How are we going to do this with just six people…?"
Matsuda wasn't nearly as deterred. "There's L, which makes it seven," he said. "Add Watari, and we have eight, Chief!"
Soichiro only sighed.
The declining morale of the office must have caught L's attention, because the new round of uneasy silence was what finally made him decide that was the right time to speak. "I have great faith in those of you who are brave and committed enough to remain."
Aizawa scoffed under his breath. "Huh. Do you now?" Ide's eyes widened in shock as he realized what Aizawa had just said. Aizawa wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but he didn't hold back what he had been thinking. He turned around abruptly and stared directly at Watari, and at the computer where L continued to hide. "You said you had great faith in us, but you had all of us tailed by the FBI without us knowing, and Superintendent Yagami's son ended up in a river. Even if you are telling the truth, which I doubt, we don't have faith in you. We can't trust you!"
Wait. Aizawa froze, the weight of his impulsive action suddenly sinking in. The realization of what he had just done washed over him. What am I doing? Why the hell did I say that?! He quickly calmed himself, taking a subtle yet deep breath. No… This was good. Relying on his instincts was good—he wouldn't have said that if he was thinking as Kira. He needed to distance himself from the mindset of Kira right now. He was Shuichi Aizawa, an investigator of the NPA, and that was the side of him that L needed to know.
Ide seemed to agree, spinning his chair around to fully engage with the direction this conversation was headed. "We've decided to risk our lives to get Kira, L," he said. "You ought to know what that means. We're totally exposed, with no way of knowing just how far Kira is willing to go, while you hide behind that screen without showing your face."
Ukita nodded eagerly. "We'll go after Kira, L, but we can't work with you." He jumped up to his feet, his voice raising in volume enough that Aizawa had to subtly gesture for him to quiet down. "It's not just us. The public doesn't trust you either. People are turning against you. Even criminal psychologists are turning against you!"
Soichiro sighed, keeping his hands neatly folded in front of him. "It's true that a number of criminal psychologists have suggested that L is Kira—in other words, they're saying that L has a split personality…" he pushed up his glasses that had begun sliding down his face. "I personally disagree with at least the details of that theory, but there is no denying that L is at the very least being dishonest, and he has the means of obtaining the information Kira uses to commit his murders." A worried look crossed his face. He almost looked like he was about to bite his thumb from the nerves, but he steeled his resolve, pushing himself to his feet. "L… If you want to work with us and help us catch Kira, how about you come here to the task force in person?"
Ide blinked, taking in Soichiro's request before determining his next course of action. He leaned back against the desk and returned to addressing L. "Yeah. If you show yourself to us and promise to be part of the team, we'll trust you. We'll cooperate with you."
Hideki… This was going better than Aizawa could have anticipated. In other ways, this was his worst nightmare. Both of them were saying things no guilty person would dare, but if this was about to happen… He couldn't think like that. I trust you, Hideki.
And for a moment, L had fallen silent, no doubt contemplating how to proceed in a situation that could easily become volatile. But quickly, almost too quickly for Aizawa's liking, he came to a decision. "As I said before, I have great faith in you. Watari…"
"Yes." Watari swiveled the computer around to reveal the empty document on the screen, but that document wasn't empty for long. Aizawa watched in amazement as lines of text rapidly appeared.
"Please keep what is about to happen a secret among the eight of us."
"Huh…?" Aizawa couldn't be sure if he said it aloud, "What?"
Ide's brows furrowed, leaning closer to better read what was being written. "What's about to happen?"
Ryuk chuckled. "Looks like he might want to meet you after all." He sat down on the desk just behind where the members of the task force had gathered, and Aizawa had to do everything in his power to not look and focus on L's instructions.
"I would like to meet the six of you who have my trust as soon as possible. Do not speak of our meeting, or having met me, or what we will be doing, to anyone who is not in the room now. That includes anybody in the NPA, your family, and your friends. Please leave the NPA building to discuss whether you can swear to the above, and whether you can trust me. Only those who agree to work with me in this investigation shall return to the room, and I will send the further conditions for our meeting to this computer."
Everyone on the task force exchanged looks with one another, a mixture of disbelief and apprehension. What was going on? But they all knew that if they wanted any chance of proceeding forward with the case, they needed to listen to L's request, so despite their collective better judgement, Soichiro took the lead, guiding everyone outside as discreetly as possible. Aizawa cautiously surveyed his surroundings in front of headquarters, making sure there was nobody around who could risk overhearing.
"So…" Matsuda was the first to dare say anything. "What do we just discuss if we can trust L or not?"
"I'd rather conduct the operation on our own without L." Ide said. He kept his arms crossed, both to convey his discomfort and the biting cold of the winter evening. "I mean, how do we even know the guy we're meeting is him? From his usual MO, I'd bet he sends us a proxy."
Aizawa turned his focus away from where he had been watching one of the bushes for signs of movement. "A proxy?" That wouldn't be the first time he used a proxy to go after Kira… "That is possible."
Matsuda bristled slightly, stepping forward toward Ide with an unexpected amount of confidence. "Well… I trust him, and I really think that to solve this case, we need to have him on board." Aizawa rested his hands on his hips. Why are you so defensive, Matsuda?
He couldn't tell if Ide picked up on what Aizawa had, but if he did, any thought about it was subdued in place of annoyance. "I get that, but we can't go into this trusting him blindly," Ide said. "Too many things don't line up. If he's really cracked all those cases alone, why would he be willing to show himself now, when we're down to just six people? How much help would we be?"
So that's the angle you're taking… Planting as much reasonable distrust as possible to either make it more likely for others to leave, or test their determination and how much of a problem they could be going forward. And if Matsuda's sudden willingness to defend L when he had passively defended Kira before was any indication, this would be an excellent way to learn more about him as well.
While everyone else had been gathered in a circle, Soichiro had separated himself from the rest of the group, his back to them and his arms crossed. He had remained silent, lost in his own thoughts, but Ide's question caused him to speak up. "L made it clear from the very start that he would need help from the police to crack this case… What if we look at it this way?" He seemed to become more confident in whatever he had been thinking, and he turned around to face them all. "L was waiting for this to happen."
Aizawa and Ide both stiffened. Matsuda tried to gauge the uneasy reactions of the others before asking for clarification. "For what to happen?"
"There were people in the task force who didn't trust L from the very start…" Soichiro explained. "Then we had detectives quit the case one after the other. Under the circumstances, L couldn't trust the task force. How long was it until confidential information was leaked by those looking to save their own lives?"
Matsuda brightened, that sunny smile returning to his face. "So you mean, L was waiting for the task force to be reduced to just those who were willing to risk their lives? And who could trust him, and be trusted by him?"
"Yes."
Or leave behind Kira and his accomplice, wanting to stay as close to the investigation as possible… Aizawa wasn't going to say that part out loud. There was no use doing that.
Ide heaved a sigh. "When you put it that way, there is some logic in how L has been doing things." His face twisted into a slight grimace, looking away from the others and down at a crack in the concrete. "Even using the FBI has some logical backing, since Kira did nothing with that broadcast. He would want to make sure Kira wasn't among the police. His concerns must have been put to rest if he is willing to meet with us…" Or they were stronger than ever, and he just needed the proof. There was no way of knowing without meeting L in person.
Aizawa nodded. "Right," he inched himself just a bit closer to Ide. "Are you still worried?"
"I won't deny it," Ide said. "I'll be honest, in normal circumstances, this would probably be where I back out. But…" he looked back up to meet Aizawa's eyes, his nerves subsiding, and he smiled warmly. "I trust you enough to make up the difference."
Ukita watched the interaction between them, a bemused grin tugging at the corners of his mouth before giving way to laughter. "Damn. Best friends really do make the best partners." He turned back to Soichiro, his spirits visibly raised shown in the way he carried himself, "I trust L. I'd like to work with him." Mogi nodded his agreement.
Soichiro's shoulders relaxed, letting on both his weariness and his relief. "Right…" He walked past them to return to headquarters. "If we've all made our choice, we should get back as soon as possible."
Everyone followed after Soichiro, but Aizawa and Ide lingered just the smallest bit behind. Aizawa kept his voice low, whispering so only Ide could hear. "Are you sure?"
Ide nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure."
Ryuk cackled, having been flying close behind them to overhear what they were saying. "Things are about to get interesting." He flew upward, closer to the ceiling, giving him more room to circle around them as they continued walking after the others. "If you take the eye deal, you could take out the entire investigation team if you wanted," he said. "I know you're not gonna do that, but I thought I should remind you the offer exists." Ide glowered darkly, biting back some curse toward the Shinigami, but forced himself to relax.
Ryuk's words only reminded Aizawa of the suffocating tightness in his chest. Was this really happening? Were they really about to meet L…? Knowing what L looked like would be an undeniable advantage, but was it worth it? He didn't have any reason to kill L. He didn't want to kill people just because they were coming after him, and even if he couldn't shake the lingering suspicions in the back of his head, that didn't mean L had done anything wrong. Being close to L would help to build trust with him, but it could go so badly, so fast…
"You're looking a little pale, Shuichi," Ryuk said.
I'm fine. I'm fine. He maintained a neutral expression as Soichiro pulled open the door and entered, finding Watari waiting for them with L's screen flipped towards them, with text lined up for them to see.
"I am now in a room at the Imperial Hotel. Every few days, I will move to a different hotel in the Tokyo area. I would like the task force office in the NPA building to serve as a front from now on, with my room serving as the de facto center of the investigation."
The Imperial Hotel…?! That's just around the corner from here. Aizawa shot a look at Soichiro, whose expression remained grim, as though all of his suspicions had been confirmed.
"Of course, this is a defensive measure to prevent Kira from learning what I look like, and I realize this means I have an unfair advantage over all of you in that regard. However, this is as far as I am able to go at this point in order to gain your trust and work with you on this investigation. If you are able to cooperate with me on these terms, please split into three teams and come to my room by midnight, leaving at least a 30-minute interval between the three teams. Watari will hand you a memo with my room number. I'll be waiting."
"Huh?" Ukita asked. "Why midnight?" He looked over at the clock. 17:24. "That's in like six hours. What are we supposed to do in the meantime?"
"That time is likely meant for any of us who need to return home for any reason, or to eat before we continue working," Soichiro said. He looked around at his officers. "Does anyone need that time?"
Mogi hesitantly nodded. "I need to check on my daughter, if that's all right…" he said, before quickly continuing, "I don't need all six hours, though. She should be fine on her own. I just want to make sure."
"That shouldn't be a problem," Aizawa assured him. "If we need to go in half-hour intervals, Ide and I can go first because we don't need to do any of that." He turned to see what Ide thought about the idea. "Unless you want to get some sleep or get something to eat before we go."
"I don't need anything. I don't usually eat until later, anyway." Ide said. Aizawa could see the concern in his eyes. "Is Eriko taking care of Yumi tonight?" Aizawa nodded curtly, his breath catching in his throat. He couldn't think about that.
Soichiro frowned just enough that Aizawa noticed, but his features smoothed over a moment later, as if he hadn't seen anything. "I wouldn't mind having some coffee before we go." He turned back toward Watari. "Would L mind if we came earlier? With the half-hour intervals, that should give us time to sort out anything we need to."
Watari nodded without a word.
"Then I think we have everything sorted," Soichiro said, smiling gratefully to Watari as he turned back to the others, "I assume Aizawa and Ide are together. Matsuda, would you like to be in a group with me?"
Matsuda was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Yes, please!"
Ukita counted the remaining people, realizing the groups had already been decided. "And that leaves me with Mogi." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket, shaking them just enough to get Mogi's attention. "Do you care if I take a smoke break while you take care of your kid?" Mogi shrugged in response. "Alright, cool."
Aizawa shook his head in disbelief. "At least eat something, Ukita," he said. "The smoking might reduce your appetite, but you still need sustenance, and I didn't see you eat lunch." Ukita rolled his eyes, but he didn't protest, giving Aizawa enough satisfaction that he could head toward the door. "I'm just going to get my jacket out of my office. Ide, do you want to meet me downstairs?"
"Yeah," Ide said. "Do you mind getting my jacket while you're there?"
Aizawa nodded, hurrying down the long hallway to the office he and Ide shared, closing the door behind him. He couldn't be here long… He leaned heavily against the door, his smile dropping the moment he was alone with nobody but Ryuk.
Ryuk leaned close to Aizawa, unable to see his expression in the darkness of the unlit room. "Are you okay?"
Aizawa strained to adjust to the change in lighting, Ryuk's glowing eyes illuminating the otherwise dark room. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine…" He picked up his trench coat without much thought to where it was, pulling it on and taking a moment to appreciate its warmth. He pulled it on a little tighter.
This is all happening so fast… I wasn't ready for this. Aizawa grabbed Ide's coat that had been sitting beside his own, draping it over his arm as he hurried downstairs, taking the stairs to give himself a bit more time to clear his head. Encouraging L to show himself was the best option. Hideki made the right choice. There was no way that conversation could go without it going in that direction… he chuckled to himself, but it cracked somewhat. But I'm not ready. Everything could end tonight…
He found Ide waiting for him just in front of the main doors. "We should go," Ide said, holding up a piece of paper between his fingers. "Watari gave me a note with the room number."
"Yeah." He passed Ide his jacket, waiting until he was properly protected from the elements to open up the door, the cold air hitting his face causing him to involuntarily shiver. "After you?"
Ide stepped through the doors, bracing himself from the cold as they began the short walk to their destination. The evening rush hour had only just begun, cars driving past them and pedestrians hurrying by, too busy trying to return home to pay attention to the people around them, making it easy for the two of them to pass by unnoticed with nothing said between them.
Aizawa tried to focus on the commotion of everyday life, to drown out the thoughts tearing through his mind, but his eyes kept being drawn to Ide. He didn't need to ask why Ide was so quiet—his gaze only raised enough to know where he was going, but no higher. Subtly gritting his teeth as countless scenarios played in his head, each with a worse ending than the last. Aizawa locked eyes with Ryuk flying just above them, a silent warning not to say anything as they kept walking. Anything Ryuk could say would only make the situation worse.
But with each passing minute, Aizawa's heart thumped harder and louder in his chest, ringing in his eyes until he couldn't even hear the cars racing by. Time moved by a blur, walking with one foot in front of the other until he looked up and found them standing before the grand Imperial Hotel.
His legs locked in place, eyes wide and staring up at the illuminated windows contrasting the darkened skies. Some part of him was trying to see if he knew which room belonged to L. He was up there, somewhere… If he searched for long enough, would he find the detective staring down at them?
Everything's happening so fast… We're really about to…
A hand rested on his shoulder, snapping Aizawa out of his thoughts. "Come on," Ide whispered. "Smile."
Aizawa remained frozen in place.
"You have to act like you know only as much as the investigation—act like you would if you weren't Kira," Ide said. He stepped closer to Aizawa, glancing around to make sure nobody else could see or hear them. "Sure, you may show aligning beliefs with Kira over time, but that doesn't mean you are Kira."
He couldn't move his eyes from the massive building in front of him. He could feel the terror coursing through his veins, and his breath caught in his throat. "I don't know if I can… He and Light already narrowed down the profile so much…"
Ide nodded. "Yeah. They did. And we have to assume that L knows more than he is letting on, but that doesn't give him any direct evidence towards the culprit. Even if he knows everything except the murder weapon, that doesn't tell him who you are." He softened, stepping forward and around so he that he was face-to-face with Aizawa, their eyes locked with one another. "Think about what happened back in headquarters. You were able to rely on your instincts to say something very few guilty people would dare. You need to maintain that and use any lingering distrust of L as plausible deniability."
Aizawa remained frozen in place for another minute more. He wasn't sure he would be able to speak, but Ide's voice calmed him enough to close his eyes, the darkness behind his vision giving him a moment's reprieve from everything around him. He managed to take in a deep breath and replace his nerves with a relaxed smile. This was no different from those trained smiles he had used to survive for so many years. He could do this. He had to remember that.
"Thank you. I needed to hear that…" he looked down at Ide's hand resting on his shoulder, only to find Ide's hand shaking so much it was almost impossible to hide. Ide seemed just as surprised by that as Aizawa was. "Hideki, are you…?"
"Scared out of my mind? Yeah." Ide forced a small laugh as he stuffed his hand into his pocket, but it didn't touch his eyes. "Yeah, I'm scared… Really scared. But I don't regret being here. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to help you."
"Just focus on pretending you actually trust L," Aizawa said. He gently took Ide's hand in his, feeling it shaking until it slowly stilled in his warm grip. Only once he was sure Ide was okay did he redirect his focus towards the hotel. "Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Sparing one last glance at one another, they took the first steps into the Imperial Hotel. Ide dug into his jacket pocket for the note Watari had given him, pulling out a card that had been concealed inside as they stepped into the first elevator that arrived. He quickly scanned the rows of buttons for a second, finding what he was looking for and swiping the card across a scanner that permitted him to press one of the buttons to the upper floors.
Aizawa felt the elevator slowly rising under his feet, deciding to pass the time by admiring their carefully decorated surroundings. This hotel was quite nice, certainly fitting of its name. He almost wished he had seen it before. If Watari hadn't provided them a key card, they wouldn't have been able to access these floors at all…
The elevator finally came to a stop, and Ide was the first one to step out, motioning for Aizawa to follow him to the left, rereading the room number on the note to determine where they needed to go. They both walked slowly down the quiet halls, not enough to seem unusual but enough that one would know if the other froze, something Aizawa was grateful for as he felt his knees trying to lock in place.
But he forced himself to keep walking, one foot in front of the other, until finally they were standing in front of a door. A perfectly normal door, completely unassuming, but what was on the other side would change everything.
This is my last chance to back out. He shook that thought away, raising his hand to knock. No… My last chance to back out was the day I wrote down that first name. There is nowhere else to go. Not anymore.
The exact moment his fist made contact with the heavy door, a voice called to them from the other side. "Please enter. I've been awaiting you."
Aizawa's grip tightened on the door handle. This was it. He looked back at Ide one final time…
And he opened the door.
Chapter Text
L was young.
Aizawa had stepped inside the hotel room with Ide by his side, and immediately his eyes were drawn to a young man standing at the far end of the room. Everything about the young man's appearance made Aizawa freeze in place, taking in the person nothing like what he had imagined. It couldn't be. This was L?
There was nothing wrong with L's appearance that made Aizawa doubt his abilities, yet as he studied the young man, a sinking feeling settled in his chest, his fear for his own life slowly shifting to concern for the person in front of him.
L was pale, very pale, as though he had been deprived of sunlight for many years. Dark shadows under his eyes and untamed, messy black hair accentuated that unnatural paleness, giving the unsettling impression he had been shut away for a long time. His back was hunched, and the longer Aizawa stared, he feared more and more that L's ribs were moments away from collapsing in on themselves.
Over everything else, it was his youth that sent a chill up Aizawa's spine. He was so young… He couldn't be older than Matsuda. How old was Matsuda? Twenty-five? Twenty-six? No, L seemed younger than even that. He looked closer to Light's age than anything else, at the latest in his early twenties.
Yet Aizawa had no questions about the identity of the young man before him. Something about the way he carried himself left no room for doubt. He quickly did the math in his head, and he had to stop himself from leaning against the wall for support. L had been active in law enforcement as long as Aizawa had… Oh, god, had L been a child at the start of his career?!
L blinked slowly, revealing pale grey eyes and blown out pupils mirroring the same curiosity Aizawa and Ide had been directing at him only moments ago. "Hello," his voice was soft, almost monotone in the way he spoke. He gestured over to a small seating area, where on the table between two chairs was an espresso machine. "We have some time before your colleagues arrive. Please, make yourselves comfortable."
Aizawa had to consciously remind himself to breathe, feeling the weight of each inhale and exhale in his chest, so Ide was the first of the two to find his words as he took a seat. "Who are you? Are you L?" Nothing about it was a question, but would L be willing to admit his identity to them?
L responded with only a quiet hum, giving no answer one way or another. "I would prefer to save introductions until everyone else has arrived." He glanced over his shoulder and gestured to a cabinet just behind him. "If you would like something to eat, I can call for any room service you need."
Ryuk's eyes lit up as he spotted the phone sitting on top of the cabinet, darting over to it with an enthusiasm that made Aizawa uneasy. "Can we ask him to bring apples?" Despite his temptation, he stopped himself at the last second, groaning in exasperation. He knew the answer to his question, even without Aizawa making a move to stop him.
"No," Aizawa said, and focused himself back on L. "But thank you for the offer." He blinked as someone gently nudged his bicep, turning to see Ide silently motioning toward the espresso machine, asking if he wanted a cup. "Oh, thank you."
"Feel free to pass the time as you see fit," L said. "Be that to converse amongst yourselves, or if you wish to sleep, you are free to do so without judgement. Both of you have worked the night shift a considerable amount—you must be tired."
Almost as soon as those words left L's mouth, the exhaustion Aizawa had tried to suppress crashed over him. His eyelids suddenly became unbearably heavy, and he struggled to keep his eyes open. How can I be sleeping at a time like this…?! L is standing right in front of me! Yet he couldn't stop the sleep already fogging his mind. His eyes fell closed, and…
"Hey, Aizawa, wake up!"
Huh? Aizawa blearily opened his eyes. "Ukita…?"
Ukita breathed a sigh of relief. "There you are. You got me worried for a second there." He helped Aizawa to his feet, and Aizawa blinked a few times to refocus his blurred vision and remind himself where he was and what he was doing there. His hand wandered up to a warmth on his shoulder, finding a soft brown blanket had been draped over his shoulders. He hastily folded up the blanket and rested it on the armrest of the chair, before his eyes once again settled on L.
L nodded acknowledgement toward Aizawa, before turning his attention back to the group as a whole. "I see you are all here. Then it's about time we have a proper introduction." He adjusted his stance, one foot resting on top of the other. "I am L."
Aizawa could hear the quiet gasps of surprise the others failed to keep at bay, taken aback as Aizawa was that the polite young man they had met moments ago was the infamous detective they had taken to working alongside.
Soichiro was, as always, the first to react to this newfound information. He didn't hesitate to offer out his badge for L to see. "It's a pleasure to meet you, L," he said. "I am Detective Superintendent Yagami of the NPA."
Following Soichiro's example, the others hurriedly pulled out their badges and began an introduction. Aizawa had barely pulled out his own badge before L made a gesture, pointing his fingers in the shape of a gun and aiming at each of their hearts.
"Bang!" L's hand snapped back to the side of his face, mimicking the recoil as well.
Matsuda's eyes darted around the room, settling first on L and then on his own chest, a mixture of confusion and concern apparent on his face. "Huh?"
Aizawa's brows furrowed. "Is this your idea of a joke?" He was young, so was that to be expected? No… There had to be something more to this.
L's expression remained perfectly neutral, his monotonous tone proving this was anything but a joke, and he did not hesitate to explain exactly why. "If I was Kira, you would be dead, Soichiro Yagami-San." Soichiro stiffened, but L did not seem bothered, though he gave them all a moment to put their badges away before elaborating further. "All Kira needs to murder someone is knowledge of their name and their face. You ought to know that by now. Common sense says you can't kill anybody just by knowing their name and face, but the fact is powerful people are one after the other on the basis of that information alone. That is how he murders people—we have no choice but to believe it." He leaned back slightly, resting his weight entirely on his heels. "We're the only ones left who are willing to risk our lives for this. So let's be careful about telling people our names. Let's value our lives."
Matsuda leaned closer to Soichiro. "He needs to know their names?" he whispered as discreetly as he could manage. "I knew about faces, but did anyone ever mention names?" Aizawa had to stop himself from sending Matsuda an odd look. How does he not—Oh, right.
"We don't know everything about Kira's MO, but something that came up was anyone whose name is either unknown or was reported incorrectly is still alive," Aizawa said. "You were gone the day it got brought up in the task force meeting. Something about your head?"
Matsuda's lips parted as though he was about to say something, but he stopped himself only a moment later, mouthing out a soft "oh." Aizawa couldn't shake the feeling that wasn't something he was supposed to remember. In any other circumstance, maybe he wouldn't have. Curiosity nipped in the back of his mind, quickly giving way to concern as Matsuda tried to brush the matter aside. "I thought I had gotten all the notes from that day, but I must have missed one. Still…" Matsuda looked over at L lingering in the archway to the main room. "If that's the only basis…"
L picked up on the conversation circling back around towards him. "Rather than standing around, how about we move over there?" He gestured to a more proper seating area of chairs and a couch surrounding a coffee table, before moving his hand to point to a different table just in front of them. "Please turn off your cell phones, laptops, and any other electronic equipment you may have, and place them on that table first."
Huh? Aizawa dug into his pocket and dropped his phone on the table, torn between annoyance and intrigue as he tried to make sense of the unusual request. "You think we might have our cell phones on talk mode so someone outside could monitor our conversation…?" What is going on in your head, L?
"Just do as he says, Aizawa." Soichiro said.
Aizawa knew better than to fight the request, checking his pockets in case he had any other devices he had somehow forgotten about. His eyes lowered back to his phone on the table, and a sense of relief crashed over him in waves. There's my excuse not to answer any messages. Only moments later, dread took a firm hold over his mind. This would normally be great, but with Eriko so close to delivery…
He looked just past Matsuda to where L was waiting. Ryuk had craned his massive body down, practically folding his spine in half as he observed even the most minor details of the young man's demeanor. Could he ask later if he could keep tabs on his phone until the baby was born? That wouldn't be very long, so maybe…?
He was pulled from his thoughts by Matsuda. "We all knew he was cautious," Matsuda said, "But this makes me wonder if he really trusts us or not."
"It's not that." L answered as he approached one of the chairs at the head of the coffee table. "I just can't stand it when someone's cell phone rings while I'm talking." He pulled his knees up to his chest once he had made himself comfortable. "Two more things. Don't write down anything I say here. Just keep it in your heads. And don't call me 'L' anymore. Please always call me 'Ryuzaki' from now on, both for safety's sake. Now all of you, please sit down."
Ryuzaki? Aizawa wracked his brain for anything he could remember, trying to go over the name's meaning for any clues into L's mind, but he didn't allow himself to linger on that for long. It was a lost cause. Ryuk burst out into a fit of mad cackling the moment the name was uttered, and from the way the Shinigami's eyes remained fixated on something just over L's head, Aizawa knew that was not his true name. He would be a fool to have not suspected it, but that was all the confirmation he needed. There was no point contemplating that name. Not now, at least.
He settled into one of the chairs at the opposite end of the table to L, while Ide took the seat nearest to him. Ukita chose the last chair while Mogi, Matsuda, and Soichiro shared the couch. Matsuda raised his hand with clear eagerness.
"I just had an idea," he said. "If we know that Kira needs to know people's names and faces, then can't we tell the media to omit those from their coverage? That could limit the number of victims."
"I considered that," L said. "And unfortunately, that won't work." He dropped four sugar cubes into his coffee. "Not only are the people who fall until Kira's MO the type who often enjoy media attention, there is another problem," he absently stirred the sugar into his coffee as he continued, "Kira may be levelheaded, and though I have my doubts, the FBI Director could technically be a coincidence. However, if we limit Kira's ability to commit murder, there is a lingering possibility that ordinary people will be killed."
"Ordinary people?" Ukita asked.
A visible change came over Soichiro, the color draining from his face, and his jaw set with obvious apprehension. "L… No, Ryuzaki. Could you explain that a little more clearly?"
Why would ordinary people be killed…? Oh, I understand. "Stopping the broadcasts might have been effective a few years ago, but that wouldn't change a thing if the reports can just move online," Aizawa explained. "There are far too many people who would use the internet to inform Kira of who they deem as evil—they might even lie to get rid of people they dislike. Whether Kira takes those reports at face value or kills the ones making those accusations, the targets would move away from people in power and toward the general public." He crossed his arms as he looked over at Matsuda. "Continuing the broadcasts isn't ideal, but it will satisfy Kira and, more importantly, it will satisfy Kira's followers."
L blinked slowly, purposefully. His back straightened in his seat, and his eyes pressed into Aizawa with newfound intensity. As though he was trying to stare directly into Aizawa's soul. "I couldn't have said it better myself," he cocked his head to the side. "Remind me, Aizawa-San, do you have experience working with the media?"
Aizawa shook his head. "Not directly. I investigate multiple-homicide cases, and for better or worse, seeing the public's reaction comes with the territory." He groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "That, and for some reason, my daughter's teachers think talking about politics surrounding a serial killer is appropriate. I got a lot of information about public perception that way." Mogi and Soichiro grimaced, a subtle acknowledgement they were well aware of and experiencing that same problem, something that did not go unnoticed by L.
"I see…"
Something about the way L said that was off, or maybe it was just his imagination. Aizawa's breath caught in his throat. Did I make a mistake? There was a difference between not acting the fool and being too knowledgeable, but this was something that should be common knowledge, was it not? Mogi and Soichiro had the same response I did to all of this. That proves that information isn't out of nowhere, right? Did I do something wrong?
If L had any questions or doubts, he didn't dwell on them in any obvious manner for long, but Aizawa could see in his eyes that he was mentally filing this interaction away for later. Or was he? Am I being too paranoid? "If we're going to worry about the media, what we really need to shield is how few of us are hunting Kira now," L said. "And while we're at it, let's figure out how to use the media to our benefit." He stared up at the ceiling while deep in thought, absently running his thumb over his bottom lip. "Fortunately, we've gotten commitments from police in every country, including the United States to a lesser extent, to provide us with information and forensic expertise. Their assistance had been invaluable for our operation until recently…" He drew in a breath, his focus shifting over to Soichiro, and his tone became solemn. "I cannot apologize enough for what happened to your son, Yagami-San. It was never my intention for anyone to be hurt, least of all a civilian."
The apology caught Soichiro off guard, causing him to falter, but as soon as he realized what L had said, his features softened considerably. Even his voice became much warmer. "Yes, well… I may not have been pleased at the time, but with everything we know now, your secrecy from the rest of the task force was for the best," Soichiro said. He managed a small smile. "Light sometimes takes matters into his own hands. He doesn't hold anything against you, and as long as we agree to communicate from now on, neither do I."
Matsuda raised his hand again. "Excuse me, Ryuzaki? If we can't hide the names of Kira's targets, how would we use the media for our benefit?"
L hummed to himself, staring down at his reflection in his coffee. "In any other circumstances, my strategy would be to create a false narrative of the G8 nations agreeing to send a total of 1,500 investigators to Japan for a Kira manhunt," he said. "That would be a whole different dimension than just the NPA or FBI. Kira would start seeing enemies everywhere he went, and as he started to feel cornered, he may make some kind of move." His eyes didn't move from the table, spinning a pen between his fingers. "Kira did nothing against the investigation until it was made public, meaning this time would have to be public to force a reaction from him."
"However, that wouldn't work in our current situation," Ide said. He kept his arms and legs firmly crossed, his eyes never leaving L. "Kira proved he does not kill the investigators on a case, only those in charge. Creating agents that don't exist would do nothing to protect us, and it would cost the lives of people in power who did not actually do anything against Kira."
A smile twitched at the corners of L's mouth. "Exactly."
"Are we sure Kira would make any move even if we did that?" Matsuda asked. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he felt all eyes moving to him, keeping his head low to avoid eye contact. "I've been thinking about it. Kira only killed the FBI Director after the investigation was made public, but it was only made public because Light ended up in the hospital. If those investigators don't exist, nobody would get hurt. Would Kira bother taking action against the higher-ups?"
"We can't be certain of that one way or another." L admitted. "Kira is passive and only takes action in the most dire of circumstances. We need to take any chance we can to goad a response from him, but doing so in this way poses the risk of Kira's followers seeing enemies everywhere and taking action in his name. That could cost far too many lives for only a chance of Kira making a move." He pulled his knees just a bit closer to his chest, but his resolve never wavered. A move for physical comfort, nothing more. "Do you mind if I share my thoughts on this case with you?"
Soichiro nodded. "You are more than welcome to. In fact, I would appreciate it," he said. "Since the beginning of this investigation, you have honed in on Japan. When Interpol agreed to work with you, you said would provide a more detailed explanation for why in time. What brought you to that conclusion?"
"Why Japan…" L chuckled almost menacingly, a wide smirk on his face making Aizawa's blood run cold. "Kira taking action against the Director of the FBI for an event that was only broadcast in Japan would be a start."
…what? Only broadcast in… Aizawa bit down on his tongue to keep from making a sound. Was that true?! Had he not thought of that? Or was L lying and waiting for someone to call him on it? He could almost taste the tang of blood in his mouth. He was going to draw blood if he didn't say something. "You've been focused on Japan for a lot longer than the FBI agents were involved," he said. "What brought you to Japan in the first place?"
L only smiled. "As all of you are staying on this case, you are owed an explanation. I honed in on Japan as one of a handful of locations at first," he explained. "The nature of the killings was done in such a way that it made the most sense for Kira to be someone tied to the lives of those in Japan or another country with similar issues." He glanced off to the side, staring at something on a computer Aizawa hadn't noticed before. "Kira doesn't target just anyone in positions of power. He is careful about who he chooses. Very few would know this, but many of Kira's victims were people I had my eyes on as well for high profile white-collar crimes."
Matsuda blinked, then blinked again as he took in what he was hearing. Slowly, a broad grin blossomed on his face. "Wait, Kira hasn't just been targeting people in power?" He whipped around to Soichiro, throwing his arms around him in an embrace that caused Soichiro to jump in shock. "That's amazing, Chief! You'll be okay no matter what!"
Soichiro softened, running a hand through Matsuda's hair and making no move to chastise his unprofessional behavior. He chuckled, and his laughter revealed an immense relief like a crushing weight being lifted away. Aizawa had to suppress the tightening in his chest. Had he scared Soichiro that badly? "Don't say that just yet, Matsuda," he partially joked. "I may never abuse my position, but as I am on this case, my life may very well still be on the line." He cleared his throat, effortlessly shifting back to a much more professional demeanor, contrasted by Matsuda's continued embrace. "Let Ryuzaki finish. Once we've heard everything he has to say, then we can all ask him questions."
Matsuda suddenly became aware of the position he was in, peeling himself away from Soichiro. "Right, sorry…"
"You don't need to be sorry." L said. "I usually don't appreciate being interrupted, but in this case, you've proven my point about this not being common knowledge." Aizawa noticed despite L's confidence, he kept looking off to the side and avoiding eye contact. "Kira targets high profile white-collar crimes, but it doesn't end there. He has a particular focus on those who are also guilty of some degree of sexual assault, domestic violence, or corruption. All of which are often overlooked in the legal system…" he bit down on his thumb. "But while Kira's MO may line up with many underlying issues in Japan, that by no means narrows it down to only Japan. There was something else. One last clue that solidified my theory beyond a reasonable doubt: Kira's true first victim."
Ryuk grinned, looking between Aizawa and Ide to gauge their reactions. "Is he talking about the bank?" He didn't laugh as he often would, but his lack of further questions assured Aizawa that he was successfully concealing his emotions. That was the only comfort he could have.
No… He can't be talking about the bank. I made sure nobody would be able to figure that out, and that wasn't me doing it. My first victim was—
"Does the name Kurou Otoharada come to mind for any of you?"
Soichiro's hands gripped tightly at his pant legs, his face twisting into a haunted expression. "Far too often…" his hand shook from the strength of his grip, only for his chest to seize, eyes snapping open in realization. "Wait—!"
L nodded. "Although the police missed this, Kira's first victim was the Kurou Otoharada," he said. "Of all the crimes shown to draw Kira's ire, this one was different. Kira doesn't target murderers, yet Otoharada died in the same manner mere days before Kira made his first official appearance. Moreover, this case was reported only in Japan, nowhere else… That was all the information I needed. Kira is in Japan, and his first victim was nothing more than an experiment for testing his powers, which means he hasn't been killing for very long." He angled the pen he was fidgeting with in such a way that the cap pressed into his cheek. "Using that information, I am certain there are more victims he used for experimentation I haven't uncovered yet."
Blood spilled in Aizawa's mouth, assaulting his senses with the tangy taste he had to hastily swallow back, subtly prodding with his tongue the spot he had bitten down too hard. Not too bad… On the same side where Eriko had struck. Fuck. He took a breath in through his nose, doing anything he could to stop the nausea churning in his stomach. He knew all too well what he had been doing, but to have it all said aloud like this… Don't throw up. Don't throw up.
"Kira's experiment with Otoharada going unnoticed proves something else that was pivotal to my profile of Kira, elaborated on by Light Yagami," L continued. Aizawa leaned in closer, despite the pounding in his chest. What did L know? What had he discovered? "Kira is not keen on having attention on him. The time between his first kill and his passive behavior proves that if he could achieve his goal without drawing any attention to himself, he would, but he recognized the only way to achieve that goal was to make himself known," he seemed to contemplate adding something else, before coming to the conclusion there was no harm. "And he doesn't take lives unless he deems it necessary, but that process is not nearly as childish as I would have expected from someone willing to go this far in the name of their beliefs. Kira is definitely an adult…"
"Uh… Was it ever a question that Kira was an adult?" Ukita asked awkwardly. "I know a bunch of teenagers were making fake calls, but was that ever seriously in consideration?"
L shook his head. "I don't mean in the sense of traditional age—though in this case, that assumption would still be correct. Kira is not childish. He has a goal and a relatively mature, if not jaded, understanding of how to do it." He took a sip of his coffee, his nose crinkling in mild distaste, almost as though the drink was bitter. "You guessed it. I am childish and hate losing… that's how I know Kira is neither of those things." He then set down his cup, looking up to address the rest of the task force directly. "So, any questions?"
"I have a question for you, Ryuzaki." Soichiro said. "You said you hate losing. By showing your face to us, aren't you admitting that Kira defeated you?"
"Yes. Showing myself, and the loss of the FBI Director means I lost," L practically whispered. "My loss is not as heavy as it could have been if Kira took the lives of those innocent FBI agents, but Kira not being captured by this point and continuing to commit these murders is a loss to me. But…" his grip tightened on his knees. "I'll win in the end. Like yourselves, this is the first time I've staked my life on a contest. Let's show him, those of us who are risking our lives…" he smiled, but it was different this time, softer. "That the good guys always win."
Ide froze. Aizawa recognized it instantly, pushing his own emotions and fears to the side and taking hold of Ide's hand just out of anyone's line of sight, squeezing three times to bring him back to the present. Ide snapped over to look at him, panic in those eyes, memories in those eyes. And Aizawa could feel L staring directly at them, but as he dared look back at the detective, he found L didn't seem suspicious or even surprised. There was something he knew, and that he wasn't saying.
But that unspoken interaction didn't go noticed by anyone else, because even Mogi managed to grin when thinking on L's words. "That's… right!"
Matsuda practically bounced in his seat, struggling to contain his excitement. "The good guys are going to win!" He looked over at Ukita, who was grinning from ear to ear, standing up in his seat and cheering.
"Let's show him!"
Ide relaxed and leaned back in his seat, letting Aizawa pull his hand back. "Alright, Ryuzaki, I'm with you."
Aizawa forced himself to smile. He could only pray nobody would see that he couldn't make it touch his eyes. The good guys are going to win... "Yeah. Let's get him, L—shit—Ryuzaki!"
Soichiro remained silent, and Aizawa watched him. He didn't need to say anything, because there was a warmth in his expression and almost… a parental type of love in his eyes, the same look he would give for the task force. The same look Aizawa had seen all those years ago.
"Excuse me, young man, are you alright? What are you doing here alone?"
Aizawa pushed that memory away.
L rose to his feet, turning to walk towards a bedroom behind double doors. "Great. So first, to be sure that none of you are Kira, I'd like to speak to each of you alone." His eyes rested specifically on Aizawa. "I would like to start with Aizawa-San. If his child has been made aware of Kira's presence, I would appreciate more information on that while we talk. The rest of you may decide the order at your own discretion." He stepped inside the bedroom, leaving the task force behind.
Aizawa stared in the direction where L had gone, his chest tightening so much he wasn't sure he could breathe or if he had spoken aloud. "What?"
Ryuk burst out into wicked laughter. "Looks like you're in trouble now," he said, reveling in all the entertainment he could ever ask for, his glee making Aizawa want to scream as all of his senses went into overdrive. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Did L figure me out—?!
"Ryuzaki's right," Soichiro looked around to the others to ease their anxieties, silencing Ryuk and giving Aizawa a short moment to breathe. So his reaction wasn't abnormal... At least he had that... "If Kira was in the task force to start with, it stands to reason he'd remain in it now."
Matsuda shuddered, hugging himself and surveying everyone around him. "And if he remained, he's seen Ryuzaki's face…"
Aizawa's vision blurred, his mind disconnecting from everything around him to keep his face blank. L wanted to make sure none of them were Kira. That made sense. That made sense. I'm not ready! I'm not—
Three squeezes on his hand, and the world refocused. Aizawa's eyes snapped over to Ide, his face the picture of serenity despite the shine of terror behind his eyes. A moment that only lasted a fraction of a second, but gave Aizawa the resolve to get to his feet, resting his hands in his pockets like nothing was wrong. He let out a breath. We'll be okay.
"Alright, this shouldn't take long," he picked up the pace over to the double doors, toward the sound of where L was rustling something in the other room. Aizawa closed the doors behind him, taken aback as he spotted L pouring them both a cup of coffee. The table was adorned with various pastries and a lone plastic water bottle at the edge. "Huh?"
"I hope you don't mind," L said. "This conversation shouldn't take long, but I thought it would be polite to offer something to eat and drink." He gestured to the chair nearest the coffee table, while L himself wandered over to the side of the room, to a large window overlooking the city. "Please, sit."
Aizawa obeyed L's request and took a seat, staring at the food and drink in front of him. He wasn't sure he could stomach any food, but he accepted the coffee, pressing his hands against the hot mug and watching L's every move. His back was to Aizawa, but he could see L's reflection in the window, eyes that stared at nothing. Aizawa took a drink from his coffee as quietly as possible, but the only other sound was their breathing in the silence.
"Have you ever contemplated or attempted suicide?"
Aizawa just about choked on his coffee. "What—?!" he hastily set down his mug, any panic he felt moments ago giving way to rage, leaning forward and having to stop himself from standing, baring his teeth unintentionally. "What the hell are you doing asking something like that?! What does that have to do with anything?!"
Only then did L turn around. His expression was unreadable as he stared at Aizawa, searching for something, and the moment he found it, he moved with a speed Aizawa could never have prepared for. He didn't have any time to react before suddenly, L was on him, holding Aizawa's face in his hand.
Aizawa froze from the sudden touch, staring up at the detective with wide eyes, but L was unfazed. He waited until Aizawa had relaxed somewhat before moving his thumb just under Aizawa's eye, pressing firmly yet with considerable care.
"What are you...?" Aizawa couldn't breathe. He shivered at the contact, forcing himself to exhale. His breath was hot against L's hand. This was...
L smiled knowingly, slowly withdrawing his hand and revealing what he had done. He stared down at L's ghostly pale hands, stained with the color of Aizawa's concealer. Aizawa's hand flew to where L had touched, and sure enough, most of the concealer was gone. How...? He forced himself to meet L's stare again, waiting for him to say something.
That soft, knowing smile remained on L's face as he stared down at the discoloration on his hand. "Do you really want to know my thought process?"
"I..." Aizawa tried to regulate his breathing, fighting against the constriction gripping his throat, desperately trying to find his voice. "I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want to know." Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Ryuk eagerly watching everything. It took all of his willpower and self-control to ignore him.
L chuckled, picking up a towel he had set off to the side out of Aizawa's line of sight. He wiped the makeup off his hand, before passing it to Aizawa—a silent encouragement to take off the concealer on the other side. "It was for two reasons," he said. "Though I would never dismiss someone over their mental state… I need to know those types of things. In any case where the people involved will risk their lives, I need to prepare for the possibility of someone being here to seek their own end in a way that won't reveal their intentions." His bangs shadowed off his eyes. A hint of sadness lingered in his voice, but it disappeared just as easily. "And this is the most effective way to get someone's baseline of genuine shock. Anyone, even Kira, would be appalled by such a question."
Aizawa used the towel and the bottle of water to wipe off the makeup under his eyes, careful not to disturb the makeup over the bruise on his cheek. He didn't want to reveal that to L under any circumstances, even if L must know about the makeup… he didn't want anyone to see that. "I suppose you have a point there." He managed to say. "I didn't know what to expect from this interrogation, but it wasn't that. It would be effective on anyone."
"I'm glad you understand," L said. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't necessary." He leaned against the coffee table just in front of Aizawa, and where he had hesitated with eye contact before, he didn't this time, making sure their eyes met. "But agreeing with me won't distract me from the fact you haven't given an answer. So, have you?"
Aizawa hesitated. "Uh… No, I—"
That night so many years ago flashed behind his eyes. His hand twitched. He could practically feel the smooth glass of the shochu bottle in his grip, and the chill of the air overlooking the river blowing against his face...
"I wasn't going to kill myself." He squeezed his eyes shut, locking those memories away. He let out a shuddering breath before he could remind himself of L's presence, but he couldn't meet his eyes. "You don't need to worry about me."
"So you have tried to hurt yourself."
Aizawa grimaced. There was no use denying it now. "Not exactly…" His eyes wandered to a set of folders on a table in the far corner, and immediately, all the pieces fell into place. "You've been reading my medical files. You won't find anything serious there that was self-inflicted." L blinked, but he didn't say a word, giving Aizawa the chance to lean forward, resting his elbows against his thighs. "I… I haven't actively thought anything like that in years, but if I'm honest… it's always existed in the back of my head." He rested his forehead in his hand, his other hand balled into a fist. "But I have two kids I could never take that step to leave behind. You don't need to worry about me, and you don't need to worry about it impacting the case."
L nodded, but anyone could see he was saddened by the answer. "I suspected as much. I won't lie—I have been reading your medical files. Legally, of course, all I had to say was I needed those files for the case and I was given access." An odd specification, but Aizawa supposed that given the laws surrounding medical privacy, that wasn't unreasonable. "There are some things that I have questions about, but as they won't impact the case, I will leave that be. If there is anything you haven't said yet that will impact your safety, please feel free to tell me at any time."
Aizawa still couldn't meet his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind."
L seemed to understand that Aizawa had reached his limit and wouldn’t give him anything further with this line of questioning. “How long have you struggled with sleeplessness?” he asked, waiting until he noticed Aizawa relax even slightly before giving any elaboration. "You purchased a prescription for sleeping medication a few weeks ago, and you fell into a light sleep far easier than someone well-rested would be able to. Is this a recent development?"
"So that's how you knew…" And why he wasn't suspicious about… Aizawa sighed. "I don't know the last time I didn't struggle with sleeplessness. I guess nightmares come with the territory of this line of work. Usually I would just exhaust myself until I didn't dream, but lately that strategy started impacting my health, and I can't run that risk with a baby on the way." He gestured vaguely at L. "I don't want to make any assumptions, but with everything you must have seen, I can imagine you know what the nightmares are like."
Aizawa knew the moment he said those words that he struck a nerve with L, though the detective was masterful at hiding it. The only thing that gave it away was the most subtle shake in his voice that disappeared not even a second later. "Yes, I know very well what they are like." He showed no desire to linger on that, brushing away the topic altogether and replacing any emotion he may be feeling with curiosity. "You have a child on the way?"
"Yeah." Should I ask him? "Oh, speaking of which, I might need to keep my phone close to me for the next week or two," he said. The worst L could say was no. He had too much reasonable basis to ask for this to be used against him. "My second child is due any day now, and the last thing I want is to not be there for my wife."
L's eyes widened slightly. "Yes, of course. I will accommodate my phone rule until your child is born. Is there an estimated due date?"
It was a reasonable request, yet Aizawa’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He was willing to accommodate? "January 16th, but our first child was a few days early, so neither of us would be surprised if he was early too."
"That is remarkably soon." L seemed to take comfort in that. He wouldn't have to adapt outside of his comfort for long. "You can definitely have an exemption to my phone policy until the child is born and your wife has made a full recovery. Should you need any time off to be with your family, I can arrange for you to have paid leave."
"You…" Aizawa had to repeat that answer in his head a few times before it fully sunk in. "Tha—Thank you! Thank you!" he nodded to himself, still struggling to wrap his head around this unexpected kindness. "I'll still be working on the case, but thank you!"
L seemed to relax. Aizawa's fears dissipating managed to bring him some visible relief. "I just have one final question for you, then you are free to return to the other room and send the next person in. Why did you stay on the case?"
One reason came to mind, but Aizawa didn't have to think about it for long to realize he didn't need to lie as much as he thought. He could almost put Kira completely in the back of his head, out of sight and out of mind. "I joined this case to make sure my children grow up in a good world and know to stand up for what they believe in," he said. "What kind of person would I be if I left things as they are?"
L contemplated his answer, and a warm smile graced his lips. "Your children will grow up to know their father was one of very few willing to stand up for what is right." He offered out his hand for Aizawa to take. "I look forward to working with you, Aizawa-San."
Aizawa stared at L's hand, slowly traveling up to his face, warm and welcoming, yet Aizawa couldn't shake the feeling he could see an eerie chill hidden behind those eyes. Or… did he? He hadn't been able to speak with L for long, but the young man before him had been nothing if not kind. Had he been wrong about L?
Ryuk leaned closer to L, chuckling as he read the name and lifespan floating above his head. "You're not going to be guessing that name any time soon." He turned back to Aizawa with a broad, mischievous grin. "This should be interesting."
Aizawa's heart clenched. If he continued down this path, there may come a day where he would have to kill this young man—No.
No. He wouldn't do that. He would not kill L. Once he spent enough time with L to figure out how he operated, he could come up with a plan to keep L away from his trail. He had figured out quite a bit already, but Aizawa could learn. He could adapt and find a way to keep himself and L alive.
He took L's hand. "I would be honored to work alongside you." You don't have to worry about me, L. I will not kill you.
OoOoO
L watched out the window as the sun slowly rose over the horizon, basking the city in a golden glow as the world began to wake, but he paid little attention to any of it, staring ahead at nothing at all, everything he knew of the case playing behind his eyes. He had plenty of information on the task force he could use going forward, but… If I could just get one more clue... Something to clinch it… He sighed. Maybe I'm being too impatient. No. If we let him get away now…
He heard the door open behind him, and he couldn't stop the smile on his face as he eagerly turned to the final person he wanted to see—the one he wanted to see more than any other. "Was it any trouble to get out, Light-Kun?"
Light's eyes widened as his gaze fell onto L, taking the opportunity as L was to fully take in the person he would be working alongside. L noticed an unexpected sparkle in Light's eyes, but he didn't have time to ask about it. "No." Light shrugged off his school blazer and set down his messenger bag full of books. "That's one benefit to the whole affair with Raye Penber being so public. I was able to call the school and say I would be staying home today. My parents don't know anything about it. This is the first day back from winter break, so I won't be missing much." He chuckled to himself. "What was your excuse to get the task force out of here?"
"I simply sent them home to rest only two hours ago, with the expectation they return at noon exactly." It hadn't been ideal. He would have preferred to keep them there to start their true investigation, but he needed to speak to Light, and he couldn't do that with the task force present. He took a black belt off the side table and tossed it to Light. "Please wear this belt at all times," he said. "A transmitter is embedded inside the buckle, and it will tell me where you are. If you press the belt buckle two times, Watari's cell phone will ring and I will be able to call you back."
Light flipped the belt over to inspect every detail, a grin spreading across his face as he swapped his own belt with the new one. "I take it the task force will be wearing these as well."
"Yes, though I didn't have the chance to provide them with these or their fake police IDs just yet." L explained. "Conversations with particularly Matsuda-San and Yagami-San ran longer than expected, and I needed to guarantee they were out of headquarters by the time you arrived."
"Right." Light's fingertips brushed against the belt, that smile never leaving his face. "Thank you again for keeping my involvement with the case a secret from my father. He means well, but I need to make sure I'm firmly established in this case before he can know I'm involved. Especially with our agreement…"
Their agreement certainly made more sense than it had before. "Yes, after speaking with your father, I can see why you wish to hide from him your willingness to investigate this case outside conventual means," L said, and he realized he was still smiling as well. This was new... "Your father seems lovely. I will admit that after learning of his history with Kurou Otoharada, I had my suspicions, but all of my concerns were resolved after speaking to him."
Light let out a soft sigh of relief. "That case was so long ago it hadn't occurred to me until we started talking about Otoharada being Kira's first victim." He rested one hand in his pocket, looking off to the side where the carpet met the wall. "I'm glad there isn't any reason for concern. I wouldn't have turned away from the case, but I'm not sure what I would do if I had to arrest my own father." He shook himself, looking back up to L. "How did the rest of the meetings with the task force go? Did you learn anything worthwhile?"
L hummed thoughtfully. "None of the interrogations were as high intensity as I told the task force they were," he said. "If Kira had given us any more clues to work with, I would have prepared a trick to test if any of them were Kira. Unfortunately, Kira has not left us anything to work with outside of his location and a basic understanding of his powers, so all I could do was give myself a genuine baseline of their reactions so I can analyze their body language going forward."
"Did you ask them all the suicide question you asked me?"
How am I going to go about this...? "Yes, and the results were about as I expected, with two answers of no, and three unwilling to answer the question directly without some goading." He had no intention of keeping any secrets from Light in this investigation, but this one thing in particular...
Light counted the numbers, cross-referencing with the number of people he knew from L's message remained on the task force. "You missed one," he hesitated, realization dawning on him. "Did someone answer the question directly with a yes?"
L nodded. Light didn't need anything more to understand.
"That… is certainly telling." Light stuffed both of his hands in his pockets, and it didn't escape L's notice that the color had drained from his face. "I—Do we need to worry about any of them or their mental states?"
"No, I don't believe so," L said. Light seemed to find enough comfort in that assurance to remind himself of why he was here. L waited until that sparkle in Light's eyes came back, and held up the medical files he had been reading through. "I plan to order a psych evaluation for all of them, but until I have a high enough suspicion and probable cause to do so without damaging my relationships with them, that won't be an option." He flipped through the files to find the one he was most interested by. "The probability of Kira being among the task force is still 73%, but with Kira's passive nature, the only people I can confidently say have been removed from the suspicion are yourself and your father. But there is one thing I want to investigate thoroughly…"
Light stepped closer to L, leaning over his shoulder to read the name on the medical file. L rested the file in Light's hands for him to read through. Light's brows furrowed when he found the name printed on the top. "Hideki Ide?"
"Yes, there is something that caught my eye that I want your opinion on," L said. "The incident could just as easily be unrelated to Kira, but until we find the one clue to push the investigation in a definite direction, we can't ignore any potential leads."
"You're right." Light sat down on one of the nice chairs beside the window, gratefully taking the cup of espresso L offered him. "Just one clue… That's all we need."
L closely observed Light as he read through the medical files, noting his subtle reactions and the ghost of a smirk that played on his lips whenever he stumbled upon something that caught his eye. He had been speaking to Light through the computer since he was discharged from the hospital, but he hadn't anticipated meeting him in person so soon. He had never worked with someone side by side, least of all someone he wholeheartedly believed could be his equal.
"Light-Kun?"
"Hm?"
L leaned his back against one of the nearby tables, his eyes never once leaving Light. He cocked his head to the side, his thumb pressed against his lips. "Why are you so interested in this case? You hold your father in high regard and value his approval, yet you were willing to investigate this case in secret, despite his preferences."
Light glanced up from the files, blinking in a perfect display of innocence that would have anyone fooled. Anyone except L. "Am I not allowed to just be interested in a case involving a serial killer with supernatural powers?"
"No one with simple interest would knowingly throw themselves into a river." L retorted. "Why are you really involved in this case?"
Light wasn't bothered by L's ability to see through his lies. He seemed amused by it. "I suppose you're right about that," he sighed, resting his head against the window and looking out at the city below. "It's because… I was bored. So bored… I would do anything just to feel alive." He put on a slightly awkward smile as he turned back to L. "I'm not sure what you wanted to hear."
And after so long asking himself why, L could finally understand why he was still smiling. "No, that is exactly what I wanted to hear."
Chapter Text
The babbling of a newborn infant was the sweetest melody to anyone who heard it. There was an innocence to it that only someone with no knowledge of the outside world was capable of, encouraging all who heard it to hold on to that person and protect them from anything that could bring them harm.
Aizawa had felt that feeling before, holding his daughter in his arms for the first time. He hadn't expected it to be any different when he held his newborn son. And maybe in another life, it wasn't. But as Aizawa looked down at the little boy in his arms, that feeling was different. Stronger than ever before in his life, as he stared down at the living embodiment of everything he had to lose should he fail in his mission. Not only would he be abandoning the daughter he loved with all his heart, but now too could his son grow up having never known happiness.
Nozomu Aizawa, only five days old, was more lively than Aizawa could have ever imagined. Yumi had slept through much of her early infancy, but Nozomu from the moment he opened his eyes had proven to be the polar opposite. Pulling his small hands out from the blue blanket he was wrapped in and reaching upward to grasp at the owner of the voice that he followed with shining hazel eyes, identical to Aizawa's own. So young, and yet he already figured out how to smile. Slightly lopsided, yet there was no doubt of what he was trying to do.
His baby boy. He was here after so long of waiting for him, of him and Yumi being the only things Aizawa could look forward to upon coming home. Nozomu was healthy, and he was happy. That should be all Aizawa could have ever asked for…
So why was it that the only emotion Aizawa could muster up was terror?
Everything was happening too quickly. Too much was happening all at once for him to ever hope of catching up. The investigation, his family, continuing his mission as Kira to avoid capture and rebuild this broken world… All of it cumulated into a blinding migraine pounding incessantly in his skull when all he wanted was to rock his baby to sleep and pretend he was somewhat normal.
He should be relieved. He should be grateful to L that he had been given the week after Nozomu's birth off. Any attempt to argue was refuted by the announcement that the detective had something to do from the 15th to the 20th without the task force present, and they were all free to use the week as they pleased. Aizawa had been able to use that time when not by Eriko's side in the hospital to finish setting up the new desk to hide the Death Note, and he had been able to both take care of Yumi and give himself time to continue his mission as Kira. He should be breathing a sigh of relief that L's kindness had not been false promises to lure him in, and he had meant every word.
So why couldn't he think about anything but the inevitability of it all coming to an end? Why couldn't he make sense of everything going on in his head? Why couldn't he, for a moment, allow himself to be happy?
Nozomu babbled again, snapping Aizawa out of his musings. "Hm? What do you need?" He gently bounced Nozomu in his arms, just enough to shift him into a more comfortable position against his chest. "Are you ready to go to sleep?" He didn't expect any kind of answer, but Nozomu gave him one anyway, in the form of grabbing onto the fabric of Aizawa's nightshirt that had unintentionally brushed against his hand. "You still want to look around, huh?"
"Hey, can you turn him a little?" Ryuk nudged Aizawa's arm to get his attention, his large body leaning unnaturally over Aizawa's shoulder to better see the child in his arms. "I want to see if he reacts to me." He brushed a long claw beside Nozomu's clenched fist, and upon getting no reaction, he reached down to poke Nozomu's stomach.
Aizawa swatted the Shinigami away before he had the chance, "Knock it off, Ryuk…" before he could say anything further, he paused. Something occurred to him. Something he had never thought to consider before. "Ryuk?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to hold him?"
Ryuk jumped back with enough force that he was sent rocketing back, falling off the bed and crashing against the wall and the floor with a yelp. "What?!" he righted himself quickly, his head peeking up from the side of the bed, his glowing eyes in the dim room creating a nightmarish visual Aizawa had long since grown accustomed to. "I—I mean—You know I want to learn all about you humans and your development cycles, but I would have thought you'd want me as far away from your offspring as possible."
Aizawa chuckled despite himself. "Yeah, well… The rules in the notebook said you aren't allowed to kill humans with your hands. There is nothing for me to worry about in you hurting him, because you would be as careful as possible to avoid the punishment." He looked over his shoulder to assess Ryuk's increasingly perplexed expression. "Am I correct?"
Ryuk continued to stare in disbelief, his eyes wide and unblinking, before finally pulling himself to his feet. "I suppose you're right about that." He reached down his hands, a slight wiggling in his fingers conveying a burning want only rivaled by the curiosity in those eyes. "I wouldn't do anything to him. Couldn't even if I wanted to."
"Then I don't see a problem." Aizawa patted the spot on the bed next to him with his free hand to urge Ryuk to sit down. "Come on, I'll show you how to hold him."
Ryuk practically flew to sit beside him, holding out his hands as Aizawa passed Nozomu over to him. A single one of the Shinigami's large hands could hold most of Nozomu's small body, but Ryuk took care to listen to all of Aizawa's instructions to better support his head, his brows furrowing in confusion when Nozomu suddenly started fussing. "Hey, Shuichi… what is he doing?"
"Shit, um…" Aizawa's eyes widened in realization. "He can't see you. He has no idea what's happening right now. To him, he is floating for no reason."
"Oh," Ryuk reached down with his other hand. "Then we better fix that."
"What are you—?!"
It happened faster than Aizawa could have ever hoped to react—Ryuk reached down to the notebook carrier at his hip, and tapped the top of Nozomu's fluffy hair with the Death Note. Nozomu let out a startled cry as he saw the being that was holding him, his arms and legs flying out of the blanket in a sudden movement that had Ryuk hunching over to avoid dropping him. But Nozomu calmed barely a moment later, his limbs curling back into the blanket and peering up at Ryuk from his place against the Shinigami's chest, giving a face to the new voice talking to his father.
"That should do it," Ryuk said. His grin broadened, watching as Nozomu made grabbing motions up at him. "See? He stopped making those sounds." He brushed his claw against Nozomu's hand, earning the desired reaction as Nozomu's small hand wrapped around his long claw, an action that made a hearty laugh bubble up in the Shinigami's chest. "I always wondered what small humans were like. How interesting."
Aizawa could only stare, unsure of what to even say in the face of a development he hadn't prepared for when the idea came to mind. "Will he be able to see you for the rest of his life?"
"Don't know. Nobody has ever touched a human with the Death Note before they could use it for themselves." Ryuk said. "He might see me forever, or it might go away once he's 780 days old."
Shit. That could be a problem in the future. "Let's hope it's the latter. I'm not sure how long the excuse of him having an imaginary friend could hold me over." Aizawa studied Nozomu's behaviors, his young age making him unaware of the abnormalities of the creature holding him, and any instinctual fear he may have was eased by the lack of concern of his father. He seemed perfectly calm.
He couldn't be sure if he was too exhausted to linger on the implications of Ryuk's sudden action, or if some part of him could barely muster up the will to care. Children having imaginary friends was normal, and Aizawa would either be long dead or have completed everything he set out to do in the time it would take for that to be unusual. One day, he could teach Nozomu to keep this a secret if it continued.
He couldn't allow himself to think of any worst-case scenarios. This was a risk, but if he played his cards right, the reward could be invaluable. "Ryuk. I have a proposal for you." He heard Ryuk's hum of interest, though he was distracted by trying to encourage Nozomu to keep grabbing his claws. Good. "A new baby means Eriko is going to be more irritable. If I want to avoid making her angry, I need to take care of the children as much as possible at night."
"I was wondering about that," Ryuk said. "She and the kid have only been home from the hospital for a day, and she keeps muttering to herself about things. Kept thinking she was going to hit you again."
"Believe me, if she could justify it to herself that I deserved it, she would have by now." He had been the picture of a perfect husband and father today, but it was only a matter of time before that perfection somehow became the very thing to draw her ire… "She certainly would have a reason if I slipped and made any kind of mistake. With everything else going on, I'm not sure how long I will be able to balance it all." He leaned forward slightly on the bed. "But you don't need to sleep."
Ryuk's attention snapped up to Aizawa, his eyes narrowing with suspicion overshadowed by growing intrigue. "What are you getting at?"
Aizawa grinned, bordering on a smirk. So Ryuk was interested. "If 'I' could somehow manage work, my mission, taking care of myself, and my family simultaneously, Eriko would have to spend longer justifying to herself why she should hit me," he said. "I know Eriko. If she thinks she's won and I am perfect enough, there is a chance she will act like she feels remorse and won't hit me for a while. Sometimes she gets offended and insists I'm being manipulative, but the odds of better treatment improve by being able to do everything she needs. I won't need to purchase medical supplies and concealer, and all that extra money could go towards your apples."
He could see the gears turning in Ryuk's head, and the dawning realization of what Aizawa was requesting of him. The Shinigami's eyes practically shone with amusement. "You want to employ a Death God as a secret nanny."
Aizawa nodded. "I'll have all the time in the world for my children once I change the world and can safely get a divorce. All I need from you is to stay up with Nozomu and tend to his needs while I am sleeping or writing names in the Death Note. I can do the rest. And in return, all money I put towards my medical supplies will go toward your apples instead. So," he offered out his hand for Ryuk to shake. "Do we have a deal?"
Ryuk grinned, all of his sharp teeth bared in a display that should have made Aizawa reconsider, but somehow strengthened his resolve. Nothing would harm Nozomu as long as Ryuk was in charge of his care. Ryuk's hand firmly grasped Aizawa's, and Aizawa was astonished to watch their hands emanate an ominous red glow, binding them together until the glow subsided. "What…?"
"You made a deal with a Death God. Shouldn't you expect for it to be binding?" Ryuk chuckled, watching the lack of concern on Aizawa's face. "Neither of us can go against it. I will take care of your little one, and any money you can afford when you don't need medical supplies goes to me. Our deal only ends when the day comes that I write your name in my notebook."
Aizawa continued staring at his hand, a tingling sensation remaining even long after the glow had faded. "That's actually comforting. I don't have any reason to worry anymore." A heavy weight lifted off his shoulders, and Aizawa managed a small smile. "Thank you, Ryuk. This means a lot."
Ryuk shrugged, "Ah, don't mention it." He turned his attention back to Nozomu, who had been staring at him the whole time, unable to understand a single word he said but fascinated by all of it. He smiled, babbling again as he saw he had gotten back Ryuk's attention. "You and I are going to know each other for quite a long time, Nozomu. But I don't really see why your father is going out of his way to make a deal. How hard can taking care of you be?"
His question was answered by a sudden weight against his shoulder. Ryuk craned his neck and found Aizawa slumped against him, a moment's reprieve all it took to lull him into the clutches of a dreamless sleep.
OoOoO
The shrill ring of another phone added itself into the relentless choir echoing throughout the cramped room and drilling its way into Aizawa's skull, the sound growing more persistent with each added ringing that grew in intensity faster than Aizawa could ever hope to quiet them down.
This was an important job. He knew that quite well. Any other case could have invaluable information brought forward by civilian tips, but it seemed in the case of the Kira investigation, those calls had become more trouble than they were worth. Be it people only wanting to ask them questions, or giving false information to send them on a wild goose chase. Enough time going through the calls had made it easy to decipher what was worth looking into and what wasn't, but that didn't make the task any less grueling.
Maybe he wouldn't have minded if the number was any lesser than it was, but the cycle was relentless. Every phone he answered was replaced by another one turning on. Ringing and ringing and ringing until he wasn't sure he could take it anymore. At a certain point, he ended up with his head buried in his hands and his fingers tearing at his hair. He couldn't be sure when that happened, and if he was honest, he wasn't sure he particularly cared.
Ryuk hovered around the room in curious exploration of the desks left abandoned by the people who had resigned, and occasionally from the corner of his eye, Aizawa noticed Ryuk's subtle move to alleviate his own annoyances by putting the phones on hold once he thought Aizawa wasn't looking.
Look at that. You do know how to use human technology. But Ryuk's muting of the countless phones did serve to give Aizawa a moment to breathe. He only needed a moment—something to think about besides the phones. He leaned back in his seat, drowning out the remaining sound by digging into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulling out the old wallet he had kept on him for as long as he could remember.
With everything going on, I should have a page on the Death Note on me for emergencies. But it needs to be somewhere nobody would notice. He flipped through the contents of his wallet, a quick inspection revealing various receipts he held on to in case he ever needed them. This would be a good place to hide a page. Plenty of people keep receipts in their wallets…
A phone rang again. Aizawa just about screamed.
He didn't notice the door opening until a voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Didn't expect to see you with your hands full," a cheeky grin spread across Ukita's face, his bag casually slung over his shoulder, looking around at the display of ringing phones. "Ryuzaki said it's time to trade. You're definitely more excited about that than I am." Almost as though to prove a point, he picked up the phone nearest to him, his grin dropping the exact moment he heard the voice on the other end, "This is the special investigation headquarters for the bureaucrat-victim serial murder case." He nodded along with the caller's words, having to stave back a groan that had his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head. He craned his neck to look over at Aizawa, mouthing out a dejected, "Not another one…"
Aizawa had to bite down on his fist to keep a small laugh from slipping out. At least he wasn't alone. He watched as Ukita dramatically slumped down in one of the chairs, crossing his legs and leaning back with an unlit cigarette between his fingers. Normally, Aizawa may have chided Ukita for his lack of professional demeanor, but some small part of him couldn't resist watching the somewhat entertaining display.
"What makes you think that?" Ukita's boredom at the question told Aizawa all he needed to know about the nature of the phone call, only confirmed by the pained sigh Ukita allowed to slip from his lips. Aizawa did send him a subtle warning look for that. If this call was of that nature, having a little empathy was necessary. Ukita caught that look in the corner of his eye, and his body language almost immediately relaxed. "Okay, so can you tell me the name of the FBI Director?" A pause. "No? So you probably aren't Kira, then." He threw his head back in annoyance, but this time it didn't show in his voice. "Then why don't you go to the nearest police station for questioning? That would be fine." He hung up before the caller could say anything further, slamming it down with enough force that caused Ryuk to jump.
"That question about the FBI Director's name is only going to work as long as the name goes unreported in Japan." Aizawa said.
Ukita huffed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What else am I supposed to ask to shut them up?" He examined the cigarette between his fingers, ultimately deciding against lighting it. He slipped the cigarette back into the pack in his jacket. "Look, I get it. Lots of people think these types should all be killed. Guess more and more of them started thinking they're responsible for what's happening. But come on…" he glanced over to the side, his brows furrowing as he noticed Aizawa pressing a hand over his eye. He swiveled around in his desk chair to better face him. "Hey. Are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered. He wasn't sure how much he meant it. "I've just got this nasty headache." Ukita dug back into his jacket pocket, pulling out the pack of cigarettes and offering for Aizawa to take one. Aizawa chuckled softly at the gesture. "Honestly? If you caught me without the headache, I might have taken you up on that."
"If you insist." Ukita put the pack back in his jacket, standing up to answer another one of the calls, but he hesitated just before answering. "Ryuzaki said you could have as much time off as you needed for your family. If you're tired—"
"Then staying home won't help anything," Aizawa said. He put on his best smile, but he knew though it may be convincing, it wasn't reassuring. "I'm fine, really, Ukita. Actually, I've been sleeping pretty well."
Ukita sent him an odd look. "Sleeping well? With an eleven-day-old?"
"You'd be surprised." He massaged his temples with his left hand, his elbow resting on the desk. "This happened when Yumi was born too. Headaches, stress, being weirdly irritable… went away after about a year last time? You just walked in on me needing a moment to myself. I'll be fine."
"That… doesn't sound normal." Ukita said. Noticing his concern wasn't helping, he switched to a more casual demeanor. "But what can you do, right?" He walked over to one of the phones that had again started ringing. "Jeez. No wonder you needed a moment. I can never pretend to be interested in these calls the way you do."
"My trick is that my voice tends to follow my expressions," Aizawa said, the change in topic giving him the will to get to his feet. "Decide what emotion you would show if you were talking to someone in person and go with that." Just as he said that, the phone rang again. Ukita let out a groan, and Aizawa couldn't stop himself from laughing, clapping Ukita on the shoulder as he hurried to grab his bag. "It looks like now is the perfect chance to test it out." He practically ran out the door, waving a quick goodbye as Ukita reluctantly picked up the phone.
"Special investigation headquarters for the bureaucrat-victim serial murder case. Yes, that's fine."
When will the case be officially labeled as the Kira case? Nobody refers to the case as anything else, unless for documentation purposes. Would the case last long enough to be given its more casual name in documents? I wonder…
Stepping out the back exit of headquarters, the distant chime of the school bell alerted him to the end of the day. Yumi would be about to start her walk home. Could he run into her on his way to the newest hotel? No… their paths were in two opposite directions. He could already imagine her practically bouncing across the sidewalk, her rain boots splashing in any remaining puddles from last night's rain, running as fast as her small legs could carry her to make it home and see her baby brother.
A smile tugged at Aizawa's lips. Just imagining being home to see Yumi's excitement at her brother's existence was enough to make him want to turn around, even if he knew that was the worst thing he could do. He had a job to do—more than one, and both hinged on him staying as close to the investigation as possible. He would be with them in time, but not now. Not for a while…
His feet were like lead against the ground, and the effort to put one foot in front of the other was more than he could have imagined, fighting against every nerve in his body that wanted to be anywhere else in the world. This was his job. This was what he had to do. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he failed in his mission now.
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Hm?"
Ryuk cocked his head to the side, watching Aizawa pull his jacket tighter around himself without thinking. A self-soothing gesture the Shinigami had grown to know all too well. "What you told Ukita. Getting headaches and stress when Yumi was born? Does that happen a lot when humans reproduce? If so, I don't understand why you humans keep doing it."
Aizawa shook his head, looking around the empty path to make sure nobody could overhear. "I don't think it is normal," he said. "But this isn't far off from how I felt before getting the notebook. I don't mind."
Ryuk hummed thoughtfully, pulling a notebook from the holster at his hip. Aizawa felt a quiet jolt of panic in his chest, before he recognized it as the normal college notebook Ryuk had asked for to keep track of all his newfound discoveries about humans. "Interesting. Does it have anything to do with your wife?" Aizawa could only shrug, but that answer didn't satisfy the Shinigami's curiosity. "Don't you humans marry for that thing you call love? Why did you marry her if you're willing to use the notebook just to get away from her?"
Aizawa stopped walking. The icy breeze pressed into his back, but he couldn't feel any of it past the crushing weight that pressed down heavy on his chest. His fists clenched at his side, and he had to force himself to breathe. Ryuk's stare was burning into the back of his head, knowing he had struck a nerve but too eager in his curiosity to care. He wasn't going to let this go—not when he had wondered about it since the day they met.
He couldn't hear himself talking, but somewhere in the back of his head, he knew his lips were moving to form words. "It wasn't my choice to marry her. I can't say I would have done anything differently, but it wasn't my choice." The weight on his chest was making it hard to breathe. He checked his watch. 15:24. I can afford a few minutes to myself. I need to afford it… This, of all conversations, wasn't one he could risk having at home.
He stepped off the path, down the small hill overlooking the pond, sitting down on a dry patch of grass just behind a rock and a large bush. He closed his eyes far too heavy to stay open, and he managed to smile, leaning his back against the chilled rock, and for a moment, he could embrace the silence of the world around him. Any noise dulled by distance and the breeze, lifting away his anxieties and the reminder of his duties.
He still remembered that day. Their wedding day… their first dance as husband and wife… If only he could turn back time, and nothing had changed.
"What are you doing?" Aizawa asked, curious as he watched the flowing movements of his bride across the empty wooden floors of the new home they would share. Her wedding kimono twirled whenever she did, sleeves dancing on her wrists as she spun along the floor in time with the music she started on an old record player.
Eriko giggled, paying no mind to her hair coming out of her braided bun and falling loose around her shoulders. "What does it look like I'm doing, Shuichi. I'm dancing! Nobody's here to say it's informal anymore, are they?" She hurried over to his side before he could react, grabbing both his hands in hers to pull him in. "Don't think I didn't notice you like it."
He could feel the smile blossoming on his face, and the overwhelming warmth in his chest he didn't know the name for. He only took a second to find his footing with the music, his hand entwined with hers, their movements separate yet coming together in a harmony he could only hope their marriage would be.
And for a moment, everything was perfect, letting the music carry them away into another world. And at some point, they had come together, swaying gently along with her body pressed against his chest and his hand resting on her low back, both of them content to say nothing at all.
But that moment ended the moment Aizawa opened his eyes, and he looked down to see the sleepy smile adorning her face, but when he really looked… he could see the traces of sadness in her eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"We… haven't talked much. About us." Eriko pulled on his arm, bringing herself closer to him and taking his other hand in hers. "Do you think this will always be just an arrangement?"
That warmth in Aizawa's chest suddenly turned icy cold. He had spent countless nights laying awake wondering the same thing. What could he even say? "I don't know. Maybe?" He offered her his best attempt at a reassuring smile. "We have the rest of our lives to figure that out."
Eriko returned his smile, but her eyes never left their connected hands. "I guess you're right… We wouldn't have gotten this far if we couldn't." Her fingers curled around his hand, squeezing ever so slightly. "I want this to work for us."
Her voice held no sign of deception, and neither was aware that in the years to come, a simple statement would be one Aizawa drove himself insane thinking about, wondering if he had been a fool to believe her.
"I do too," Aizawa said. Their dance gradually slowed to almost a stop, his voice the softest whisper only she could hear. "I can't think of anyone better to be in an arrangement with than a friend."
"Eriko and I never loved each other that way." Aizawa wasn't sure at what point he began speaking aloud, only that he could see in the corner of his vision that Ryuk was enraptured in his tale. "I can't even explain why, but she never made my heart race, and she said it was the same for her. This wasn't some kind of misunderstanding. We had known that about each other from the beginning—we were friends. Really good friends."
"What happened?" Ryuk asked, leaning forward so much he had to stop himself from falling into the pond. "How would you go from being friends like that to fearing for your life?"
Of course he couldn't stop this conversation there. He shouldn't have been surprised Ryuk would want to know more. "Everything changed the night we conceived Yumi. We wanted to be parents more than anything, so a few years after we were married… we went for it." Aizawa's breath caught in his throat. "But I did something wrong. I don't know what I did, but that was the beginning of the end. Eriko wanted more, and I tried, I really did… I wanted to give her everything she could ever want…" he pulled his knees up to his chest, his hand clawing at his hair. "She became cruel. Our marriage wasn't perfect—we had fights like anyone else. But it's like someone flipped a switch and she hated me all of a sudden, or I somehow missed the signs."
He would never forget the night she hit him the first time. He couldn't even remember what he had done to make her that upset, but that look on her face… the darkness in her eyes was something that would be burned into his brain for the rest of his life. She had become someone he couldn't even recognize. He could still feel the phantom pains of her fist slamming into his skin that night if he thought about it too long.
"None of that mattered to me…" Aizawa said, willing himself to continue his explanation, taking in a deep breath of the cold air. "I was willing to accept the marriage as long as I had stability for myself and my children, but she couldn't even provide that." he forced the hand in his hair to relax, running over his scalp, "All I've ever wanted was stability. I didn't want some dramatic over-the-top relationship like in those shit romance movies—that was never something I was looking for. I hadn't even been too bothered by the match when my parents suggested it, as long as I had stability." He pressed his palm just under his eye to catch a stray tear threatening to fall. "All I've ever wanted was something calm. Something where… I didn't have to worry, but all my life is now is worry."
The water rippled just in his line of sight. Aizawa looked up, his eyes widening slightly as he watched a family of ducks cross the water, four ducklings following dutifully after their mother. Despite everything, Aizawa couldn't help but smile.
"But she gave me my children. Yumi and Nozomu… they are the greatest thing I could ever ask for." Aizawa said. "I don't hate Eriko, but even if I did, I would always be grateful to her for that. My only wish is for them to have a chance to do better than I did."
Ryuk has been quiet for a while… he glanced over to the Shinigami, and found Ryuk nodding thoughtfully along as he finished taking his notes. Aizawa softened slightly. It was nice to have someone who would listen besides Ide or Soichiro.
"You're doing all of this so you can leave Eriko and have full custody of the kids," Ryuk said, glancing up to make sure he understood that correctly. "But if you had to choose between saving yourself and the safety of your children, would you give everything up for them?"
"Without hesitation." Aizawa said. "I'd lay down my life without thinking for them." His eyes wandered down to the grass, and to the Death Note at Ryuk's hip. "I would turn myself into a monster if it meant there was a chance they could be safe—I came up with the contingency plan for a reason. No amount of destruction on my soul would change that. That's what any father would do."
"That's not answering the question." Ryuk said. Aizawa froze. "Would you give up being Kira and return to a normal life in your marriage for their sake?"
Would I? Aizawa turned away, looking anywhere that wasn't Ryuk. He settled on watching the ducks swimming a short distance away underneath the bridge. He would be lying if he said he never pondered that same thing, but for the life of him… he didn't know the answer. It would be easy to say I would. That's what any father would do. If staying was safe for them, that's what I would do. But is that the truth? Could I see my only shot at freedom and still turn away from it?
Ryuk hesitated as he caught the change in Aizawa's demeanor, reaching out his hand but stopping short at the last moment. "I shouldn't be asking that question, should I? You probably think she will hurt the kids, so that's not an option." Aizawa only hummed in response, and Ryuk took that as an okay to continue. "You trusted Ide with your secret, but you've said plenty of times Eriko would kill you. If she flipped that switch on you, who's to say she won't do the same to the kids?"
"Please stop talking…" Aizawa rested his forehead against his knees. "That doesn't help right now." He pulled at his hair, turning his head slightly so he was facing Ryuk. "Besides, you're not even making a good comparison. What me and Ide have is easy and… it's just different."
Ryuk blinked. Picking up on an attempt to change the atmosphere, his almost sympathetic expression shifting into a teasing grin. "If you don't love Eriko, have you been in love before?"
"What?" Aizawa straightened, turning his whole body to stare at the Shinigami in disbelief. "What does that have to do with anything?!"
"What?" Ryuk said with mockingly false innocence, shrugging his shoulders and sitting down closer to him. "I'm invested in the drama and you don't talk to me about these things very often. If the kids are off-limits, I'm asking about the romance. Have you felt that before?"
"I…" Aizawa bit down on the inside of his cheek. "I don't know. Maybe I did love Eriko once, and it just wasn't like what I imagined." His eyes wandered down to his reflection in the dark waters. "How am I supposed to know?"
"Well, I suppose you wouldn't," Ryuk said. "Hard to know what love feels like, and it's not like I can tell you either. I just have one more question, and then I'll stop asking them." He inched himself closer to Aizawa to better read his face. "If Eriko apologized and promised not to hit you anymore, would you forgive her?"
"There's no point considering that." Aizawa said. He didn't hesitate. He had dismissed the idea so quickly that it took him a moment to fully comprehend what Ryuk had asked. "I don't believe in empty promises."
"But if she meant it. Would you?"
If she meant it? Aizawa's grip tightened on the fabric of his jacket. "Seriously, Ryuk. There is no point considering that."
But if there was… the heavy ache in his chest once again made its presence known in his lungs, a hollow void devoid of anything meant to fill it. If he had a chance to be content, if she never hit or berated him again, and they could go back to being friends? He could almost picture what that life would be, before banishing that thought from his mind.
Would he really? He had done so much to run away, but was there really a chance he would…?
"I don't know…" Aizawa let out a deep sigh, throwing his arm over his eyes. "God, I don't know. There must be something wrong with me." He shook himself, the cold of his watch nipping against his skin enough to bring him back to reality. "There's no point asking these questions. It's been ten years. Nothing is going to change." He checked the time on his watch. 15:45. "Shit." He got to his feet, walking faster than he usually did to make it back up to the path. He couldn't afford to waste any more time on needless distractions—it wouldn't be long before the task force would wonder where he was. "Come on. We need to head back."
He made sure not to run to avoid giving the impression of any nervousness, but he could feel himself picking up the pace and checking his watch over and over with each minute that passed. Every second wasted time that he could have missed something pivotal to the investigation—how could he have been so careless?! Get it together, Shuichi. You can't start slacking just because your head and Shinigami won't shut up. Everything's fine. Get it together.
He didn't pay attention to the path as he was going, focusing entirely on remembering where to go and which hotel L was staying at now. He could see the building in the distance, and he let out an audible breath of relief when he finally reached the doors and caught sight of Ide walking inside holding a large paper bag. "Ide!"
Ide turned at the sound of his name, his face brightening considerably as he noticed Aizawa hurrying over to him. "There you are. Your phone was turned off, so I couldn't ask you what you wanted for lunch." He gestured to the paper bag in his arms. "Sandwiches from that shop a few blocks down felt like a safe bet for everyone."
Ryuk's eyes widened at the sight of the bag. "Did you get any apples?"
Ide rolled his eyes, glancing in both directions to make sure no one was around before he shifted his hold on the bag to dig inside and pull out an apple that Ryuk didn't hesitate to snatch from his hand. "Remember to eat the core, Ryuk. We can't have you leaving any evidence." He stuck his hand into the bag again, the checkered paper crinkling loudly in his grip as he pulled out one of the sandwiches and passed it over to Aizawa. "Here. You haven't eaten today, have you?"
"Oh, thank you." Aizawa gratefully took the sandwich from him. He didn't bother to check the contents of the sandwich. He never had much opinion on the matter, and he knew Ide would never give him something repulsive. "How did you know?"
"We've known each other way too long for me to not," Ide said. His eyes wandered off to the side away from him, and his smile faltered. "You should probably know. Ryuzaki still hasn't said anything about where he was last week. He isn't just disinterested either—he was frustrated by Matsuda's questions about it today."
I figured. "Him leaving has something to do with the investigation," Aizawa said. "He knows enough about our medical records and histories to know if he said it was a private personal matter, that would be the end of it. My guess is he will tell us once he is sure about whatever lead he found."
Ide nodded, but his brows pinched together the longer he studied Aizawa's face. "That's not the only thing bothering you, is it? Did something happen?"
Aizawa chuckled softly. Is there anything you don't pick up on? "Don't worry about me…" he was about to say it was nothing, but he stopped himself. He could trust Ide. "Ryuk was just asking some questions. About Eriko. On top of everything else…"
"Reliving old memories was exhausting," Ide finished. He shot Ryuk a look, but if the Shinigami noticed, he was far too preoccupied savoring his apple to care. "Shuichi…." he rested his hand on Aizawa's shoulder, "If you need to go somewhere to rest, you have the spare keys to my apartment. I can tell Ryuzaki you're feeling under the weather."
Aizawa raised his free hand to rest it on top of Ide's. His hand was warm. "I'll be okay," his gaze wandered up to Ide's eyes, noticing the traces of stress and exhaustion at the corners. "What about you? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Ide said, despite knowing Aizawa could see his eyelids trying their damndest to drift closed. "Ryuzaki has been… watching me all day. He read my medical files, so I shouldn't be surprised, but—"
"Hey," Aizawa squeezed tightly on Ide's hand to snap him out of those panicked thoughts. "If he starts to suspect you over that, I will take care of it," he said. "Nothing is going to happen to you. I promise. You can rely on me."
Ide smiled softly. "I never doubted that." He pulled back his hand and took a quick look to confirm that Ryuk had indeed finished his apple. "Are you done? We should head inside then. We wouldn't want to risk anyone wondering where we are." He pushed through the heavy doors to walk inside, and Aizawa hurried after him.
He glanced down at the sandwich still in his hand, then back up to Ide. Even if only for a moment, he could ignore that hollow void in his chest. As long as he had Ide by his side, everything would be okay.
Thank you, Hideki, for being here.
Chapter Text
"Next, we have the freshman address. Our freshman representative, Light Yagami, and our other freshman representative, Rue Ryuzaki."
Light could hear the chatter of people all around him in the massive auditorium, and he loved it. He had never enjoyed being the object of attention that led him nowhere but to interactions he couldn't avoid from people who meant nothing, but today was different. Because today, the stares and the talk meant something, and everyone's eyes were on not just him, but on the person beside him in the front row.
He wasn't alone with everyone's eyes for the entrance ceremony that would signify a new chapter in his life, and he could feel like he had truly earned where he was. Because at long last, there was someone who could match him. There was someone who could have taken his place if he made a single mistake. For the first time in his life, he had truly needed to try.
He heard there would be someone else giving the freshman address with him, and he knew who it would be long before he was given a name. He would have to be blind not to have seen L there during the exams. He dressed himself with no regard for the opinions of others, and while that made him stand out, that was one of the many things Light admired so much about him. He had enough of a hold on the world that he could say and do whatever he wanted, and no one would question his abilities.
That being said, Light persuaded him to blend in more today and assisted him in choosing an outfit for the occasion last night. While he never wanted to interfere with L's comfort, standing out was too much of a risk at the moment. If Kira could be watching him and surmised that L may want to get close to Light after what happened with the FBI, standing out was the worst thing he could do.
L had already kept his distance from Light and only met him as necessary until Light's eighteenth birthday, but with that long since passed, any further caution was just that. L had agreed with the precaution, and for that reason had agreed to come dressed in a casual button-up and black pants, with his hair tied back just enough to be more neat. It was almost staggering how different he looked with a little cleaning up. Light wouldn't have guessed he was anything more than a normal college student. Exactly as planned, but so unlike the L he had grown close to, he wasn't interested in repeating this.
If Light was honest with himself, he was more focused on thoughts of L than he was on the freshman address he had memorized long before taking the standard exams. L was holding a paper at the edges to read his own script, differentiating himself from Light, but he could see in L's eyes it was purely a lack of interest in the formalities. If he cared to memorize his speech, he would have.
He had been surprised at first when he learned L was enrolling in university, but Light wasn't going to complain. His parents had been keeping a closer eye on him since his stunt with Raye Penber, and while that was a risk he had known going in, that meant having a provable classmate on his level was all the more important to seeing L without rousing the suspicion of his parents. This gave them a way to meet in secret without anyone catching on, at least on his end...
"Light?"
L's voice snapped the world back into focus, and Light found himself sitting back in his seat in the front row with L beside him. When did the speech end? Light bit back a visible grimace. He had been living on autopilot for so long, he couldn't always control it for tasks as menial as a speech. How long had he been out of it?
"You have been staring at the back wall for two minutes now," L said. Almost as though he could read Light's every thought and understood his concerns. "It wasn't obvious, but you barely reacted to the end of the speech and returning to our seats. Are you tired?"
He didn't have to lie to him. He didn't want to lie to him either, but if L was proposing the idea that he was tired… "Speeches are boring. I guess I spaced out." He looked over to face him, keeping his voice down to avoid being overheard. "But I could go for a coffee. How about going for a drink somewhere after the entrance ceremony is over? It's only natural for the top scoring students to want to get to know each other."
L's eyes brightened, a soft smile spreading across his face as he quickly nodded. "I would like that."
He had expected that answer, yet the confirmation of having something to look forward to made time slow to the point that Light found himself staring at the clock on the far wall and wondering if it had broken. The autopilot he had used to get through the day suddenly didn't work as it had moments ago, leaving him tapping his foot and counting the seconds until the entrance ceremony was over. He passed the time by counting doubles in his head, but found himself quickly bored by numbers he had memorized. Should he try another number combination, or should he think about something else? He couldn't let himself ponder the case. Not yet…
He hadn't fully registered the ceremony ending while trapped in the prison of his own thoughts. Time seemed to blur, and it remained blurred even as he was the first one out the door, keeping a firm grip on L's wrist to pull him along and beat the massive crowd of people in just as much of a hurry to leave as he was. He had to consciously stop himself from turning his brisk walk into a run. That wouldn't be proper, and he shouldn't do that to L.
L tugged on Light's hand to get his attention, urging him to pause for just a moment, and they both took a seat on a bench just outside the school's entrance. "This won't take long," L said. He dug into a small black bag he had with him, pulling off his dress shoes and socks, replacing them with a simple pair of white sneakers, foregoing the socks altogether.
Light raised an eyebrow as he watched L put his dress shoes into the bag. "If you were going to change your shoes, why didn't you wear those to begin with?"
"Well, I considered that," L said, pulling up one leg to tie the laces that had come undone. "But I've been told an entire outfit falls apart if the shoes are wrong, so my options were this or to forgo the different outfit altogether. In most circumstances, I would have chosen the latter, but you were right about the importance of blending in if Kira could be watching your moves. I'm not trying to impress anyone. This is only for practicality." An unfamiliar heat spread across Light's face, but if L noticed, he said nothing on the matter. He rummaged through his bag, pulling a blue umbrella out from inside. "Do you know where we are going?"
Light forced himself to blink, realizing he had been staring. "Uh—Yeah. Yeah, I know where to go." L gestured for him to lead the way, and Light had to remember where he was going, walking along the sidewalk and underneath L's umbrella. The grey cloud cover overhead didn't indicate any signs of rain, but with the way L kept the shade over his pupils that even now hadn't constricted in the daylight, he suspected rainfall wasn't the reason.
He seemed fine with lighting indoors, something Light filed away for later. Even now, he didn't seem overly bothered by the light as long as he kept his eyes closer to the ground, but he noticed the subtle shiver in L's shoulders.
"Here," Light shrugged off his suit jacket, draping it over L. "You seem cold."
"You don't need to do that, Light." L said, but he made no move to return the jacket. "I must admit, it is chillier than I was expecting."
"Are you from somewhere warmer?"
L shook his head. "I wouldn't say so. I suppose that depends on one's definition of 'from.'" He glanced down at his own clothes. "I don't usually wear something like this, so that could account for my lack of preparation." Shadows changed under his feet, prompting him to look just beyond his umbrella, and he stopped walking. "Are we here?"
"Yeah. I made sure to find a coffee shop close to where I go to school." Light pulled open the door, gesturing for L to step inside. "After you."
L closed his umbrella and carefully stowed it away in his bag. "Thank you, Light." Light hurried ahead of him as he stepped inside, bringing him to a slightly raised area just behind the wall—a booth surrounded by plants, so out of sight only the servers would know to look.
"This is one of my favorite coffee shops," Light said, taking a seat and watching as L did the same. "If you sit here in the back, nobody can hear what you're talking about."
L curiously surveyed the area, taking in the relative silence and confirming as Light had that they were alone. "You've picked the perfect place for this."
"Yeah. For one thing, back here, nobody's going to be staring at you for sitting like that," Light said, smiling to himself. L's knees had already been pulled up to his chest from the moment sat down. My suspicion was right… He's more comfortable sitting that way, even in public.
"True." L's eyes flickered down to his knees, then raised up to meet Light's gaze so quickly anyone else would have missed it. "I just can't sit any other way than this. If I sit the way other people do, my reasoning ability drops by forty percent."
"Do I have to ask if you tested it to find an exact percentage?" Light asked. "How long did that take?"
"Approximately three trial runs using various cases ranging in difficulty," L said. "The time taken to solve those cases drastically decreased in direct relation to the way I sit. I recorded my findings in documents on my computer."
That's actually fascinating. "I never thought to try that." Light glanced just behind them to make sure nobody was coming by. They wouldn't be able to hear, but he wanted to be sure. "What did you tell the task force to explain your absence this time?"
"There wasn't an explanation for the majority of the task force besides having personal matters to attend to," L said. He bit down on his thumb just a bit harder than normal, causing Light's brows to furrow. Was something wrong? "Yagami-San, however, was a different case… he noticed the connection between my first absence at the entrance exams, and today for the ceremony. It seems having an additional leave of absence last month to do damage control with the FBI did nothing to hide that."
Light grimaced. He had known Dad would put it together, but he had hoped it wouldn't be so soon. He pointedly put that to the side for a moment. "You never did tell me how that went."
"That's because there was nothing much to say," L said, shrugging absently to himself. "The FBI has no interest in returning to aid the investigation, but there is no bad blood between us. They acknowledged it was the mistake of Raye Penber that endangered the entire case, and that was no fault of mine or yours." He rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement. "Penber has not been quiet about how you are 'crazy,' and he wasn't the one at fault. His new wife is the only one who believes him."
Laughter escaped from Light's lips before he could hope to stop it. "I would be surprised if he was quiet about it." He was getting sidetracked, as was L, causing him to join Light in quiet laughter. They had to get back on topic. "My father noticed the dates lined up with you meeting me?"
L nodded, his demeanor shifting from amusement to something much more serious. "It seems my visit with the FBI set off more alarm bells in his head than it did to relieve them," he said. "I simply explained to him that I was investigating you."
Light's eyes flew open. "You told my father I'm under suspicion?"
"Yes. Save for my early involvement with you, I've told your father everything," L said. He traced his lips with his thumb as he spoke. "Of course, to his understanding, when I say 'suspect,' I am actually talking about a factor of 1%, and what I'm really hoping for is to become 100% certain that you aren't Kira."
Light let out a quiet breath. "I see. You must have used the argument that because of my involvement with the FBI and Raye Penber, investigating me is only natural." He could make this work. He had to.
"Correct. I am certain beyond any doubt that you are not Kira, but it would be impossible to explain my reasoning without revealing our connection to one another." L leaned forward, wanting to be as close to Light as possible even with the table between them. "So, Light. If you were a suspect, what would my reasoning be for revealing myself to you and telling you I'm L?"
"Because I can't do anything to you," Light said. He didn't need to think about it. The answer was obvious. "Now that you've revealed yourself to me as L, if you die, I'm immediately under suspicion. It's an attack and a shield at the same time." He smiled. "Then again, if you truly suspected me, you would use the alias of someone whose name and face are known to practically everyone in Japan. If I tried anything, there's a good chance the face of that celebrity would pop into my head instead. If that celebrity died, you would infer that I'm Kira. You showed your hand by not doing that." His smile turned to a smirk, resting his chin atop folded hands. "I like this, Ryuzaki."
L chuckled fondly. "I had no doubt you would." He quickly cleared his throat. "That was simply to make sure we are on the same page in our story. We should discuss matters of the case."
"Right…" Four months had passed since the incident with the FBI, and Kira's moves had been quite interesting. Instead of becoming bolder in the face of no visible opposition, he had slowed his rate of killings as of the beginning of February, yet at the same time, they had become much less random. Where there was no way to predict Kira's killings before, now every nine days, four people would die. Each batch of kills would be of people who, with some research, were found to be guilty of the same offense. "What was the batch yesterday guilty of?"
"Crimes against children. I can't say I'm particularly heartbroken by the loss." L stared down at the table, for a moment lost in his own thoughts. "I have to admit… Kira has been finding instances even I didn't have the time to be aware of. It's too bad he resorted to mass murder—he would be an invaluable asset with his dedication."
"Yeah," Light said. "He could easily justify slowing down his rate of killings to have more thorough investigations into the people he kills." He leaned forward against the table. "But it's still interesting… Kira's willingly giving away one of his biggest advantages."
"You mean the advantage of not technically confirming he exists?" The nod from Light caused L's mind to race, contemplating that idea with renewed intrigue. "While keeping that advantage would slow the investigation, when considering what Kira is trying to do, that would be more of a disadvantage than anything," he said. "If people believe it is a random blight, they won't make the changes Kira wants to see. It's the same reason he kills in batches, to give his potential victims a chance to change their ways. He would be unreasonable if he expected all those changes to happen in a day, so he spaces out his killings and goes after different aspects of corruption each time."
His deduction is the same as mine. "It makes perfect sense. He's given just enough information to confirm he exists and what his goals are, but not enough for us to have any concrete clues toward his identity." Light rested his fist under his chin. What is Kira going to do next? "There have only been eight batches so far, so it might be too early to tell, but my guess is if he comes back around to repeat a targeted crime, it will be against those who tried to become sneakier instead of changing their ways. Which means either we're going to see the rate of killings slow down even more drastically to account for the investigations necessary to determine that, or if Kira is someone on the task force, we're going to see someone become abnormally exhausted."
"I've been keeping a close eye on the task force to find exactly that," L said. "However, when taking into account their various personal circumstances, the occasional bouts of exhaustion I've seen are nothing abnormal."
"Have you managed to question Ide about those hospitalizations?"
L set his jaw, his eyebrows visibly flattening in annoyance. "No. Ide-San is aware that caught my attention and has gone out of his way to avoid a second discussion on the matter. Unless I have probable cause to believe that case is related to this one, I can't force him to speak about it."
Light groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "So the only noteworthy thing anyone on the task force has done is refuse to talk about a traumatic event without being required to?"
"Correct. If one of them is Kira—and I am almost certain one of them is—they've given me nothing to work with," he bit down on his thumb. "Kira is very careful…"
That was something Light wanted to analyze with a more careful eye. "You can't ever win if you're always on the defensive," he said. "To win, you have to attack. Surely Kira knows that."
"His avoidance of the investigation is too deliberate not to know that," L said. "Kira doesn't play defensive, nor does he attack. He's chosen complete avoidance. If he doesn't engage with the investigation, he doesn't need to attack or defend." He raised his stare away from the table and back up to meet Light's eyes. "It's a smart strategy in the short-term, but if he hopes he can wait me out, he is sorely mistaken."
Light noticed a server approaching their table, and he wasted no time ordering a coffee for both himself and L. He took that pause in their discussion to contemplate everything L had said. As he was thinking, something occurred to him he had only briefly considered before.
"What if he doesn't think he can wait us out?" L's brows rose with interest, prompting Light to continue. "The best defense is a good offense, but you have remained hidden just as well as he has. Even if we're right and Kira is among the task force, that still leaves the number of people who have seen L's face at eight, and Kira would only know of seven. Like with revealing yourself to me under the guise of being a suspect, it's an attack and a defense at the same time."
That familiar glint sparked in L's eyes. "You're suggesting Kira is trying to formulate a strategy. With neither of us providing much information to the other, he can use the reduced rate of killings to slow the investigation and figure out what he needs to do, giving me just enough insight into his goals to keep me occupied." The longer he mulled over Light's theory, the more his excitement grew. "He's buying himself time."
"And because we haven't attacked either, he has the freedom to do that," Light added. "Kira may be passive, but that just points more towards his intelligence. An intelligent predator won't attack something they don't understand—they will wait for more information before making a move. We already proved with Otoharada that he had this power for longer than he's been Kira, so waiting for enough information to act isn't out of character." He leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed at his chest. "Kira isn't going to make a mistake on his own. We need a plan to force him to make a mistake."
"I know," L said. "I briefly considered implementing surveillance cameras in secret to observe their movements outside of headquarters, but doing so would destroy any trust the innocent members have in me. Your father may agree to it, but the others would sooner stuff and mount me on a wall." He stopped talking as their coffee arrived, offering a quick thanks before staring down at his reflection in his drink. "There is another reason that isn't in my best interest—the same reason I haven't pushed them as hard as I would normally."
"Huh? What do you mean?" He had a vague idea of what it could be, but he wanted to hear L's explanation before providing his own input. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Kira had made him more than aware of how little he knew about the politics of the world. He may be able to match L in everything, but L had more experience in this aspect of life. For now.
L took a sip of his coffee. "Kira killed the FBI Director, but a closer investigation revealed other corruption Kira was targeting long before the incident with the FBI," he said. "Would Kira have killed the FBI Director if he hadn't fallen into his MO? Furthermore, there has been no known attempt on my life…"
Light's eyes widened. Could it be that…? "You're suggesting Kira may not have made any attempt to attack you because you're putting up a front of innocence around them," he said. "You've been working with me in secret to try different methods, but Kira has no way of knowing about that. He might refuse to attack anyone on the investigation unless he believes they would deserve it regardless."
L nodded, and he bit down on his thumb—his other one this time. "We won't be able to solve this case without employing some less-than-ethical strategies, but I can't ignore the probability this act of innocence has made Kira uninterested in any attempt to kill me," he said. "The chances of that being the case are around 92%."
"Good point. Acting as just an innocent detective doing his job is a layer of protection, but that will make it harder to attack." How were they going to get around this?
L suddenly smirked. "There is one way." Light looked back up from his drink to meet L's gaze. He could see that glint in the detective's eyes that made his heart race, and it was stronger than ever before. "A way we can trap Kira. It would take time, and I would need to build it up, but if this works, it could force Kira to make a mistake."
"I'm listening."
OoOoO
"He's going after Light." Aizawa stared at the paper he and Ide spent the day meticulously crafting—writing down the dates of everything in the investigation and cross-referencing to make sure they hadn't made any mistakes. What they found instead… "They've been hiding their interactions, but there's no denying it. Disappearing during the week of the entrance exams and now this?"
"Don't forget how nauseous Soichiro was yesterday," Ide said. "He could be coming down with something, but he became visibly ill after Ryuzaki mentioned needing today off. Why would he suddenly fall ill unless it was in response to something?" He closed the book on folklore he had been reading with Ryuk, turning his body to be in a sitting position instead of laying across the couch. "I understand writing off his first leave of absence as a coincidence, but as it stands, there are too many factors pointing to Light for me to consider anything else."
Aizawa bit down on his bottom lip. "I hoped that wasn't the case, but you're right. There's too much evidence for it to be something else." He picked the paper up off the table, as though reading through their notes a second time would give him the answers he needed. "We just need to figure out why he's interested in Light. What's his motive?"
Ide kept his eyes settled on the book in his lap, running a hand over the leather cover. "From where I stand, there are two ways this could go," he said. "Light has a reputation for helping cases, and your change in killing has slowed the investigation. He could be looking to hire Light since he's already proven to be interested. The other option…"
"Is he suspects Light because of what happened with the FBI."
Ryuk cocked his head to the side from his perch on the top of the couch, looking between his two humans. "What does it matter if he's interested in that Light kid?" he asked. "Don't you want him not to focus on you?"
"Yeah." Aizawa took a deep breath, pulling himself to his feet and walking over to the window. He leaned heavily against the frame as he looked out at the city beyond, where night had only just fallen. If he looked out over the horizon, he could see the remnants of the setting sun. "If it were anyone else, it would be a good thing to let L focus on someone else and lose his lead. But I'm worried about Soichiro. If anything happened to Light…" he didn't want to finish that sentence. "I can't say I would be happy about it even if it wasn't Light. Interpol is getting too impatient about the lack of evidence. If Ryuzaki suspects someone and that gets found out by Interpol, that puts them in danger even if there isn't any evidence. I haven't made nearly enough progress to think they wouldn't execute the suspect in secret and hope that makes the problem go away. I'm not letting innocent people die because Interpol is scared of me."
Ide's grip tightened on his book. Aizawa didn't need to be listening for it—he instinctively picked up on the tremor in his partner's voice. "Shuichi, there's nothing we can do about it. You can't give L any reason to believe Kira has a personal connection to the Yagami family. Even if you would do the same for anyone, it's just as likely L is still looking for a reaction from Kira." He got up, resting his hand on Aizawa's shoulder. "Let things run their course. It won't be difficult to prove Light's innocence just by acting as normal. This was bound to happen."
"I know," Aizawa said. "Everything's been going too well for this not to happen." Governments had been quiet on if they noticed the patterns in Kira's newest kills, but being on the investigation and having friends in the NPA meant he could learn things the public could not. They understood what he wanted, and others who had left the case had asked him more than once about the rumors higher-ups were considering shutting down the Kira case in exchange for their lives being spared.
That was a good thing… they were reasonably afraid of him, but even if it was the easy way out, he couldn't set the precedent that he would take bribes. He had to push harder. Once they accepted there was no getting rid of him, they would be forced to change their ways. He wouldn't allow them to become sneaky about it and pretend that was enough.
If the day ever came that the higher-ups of the world killed an innocent to save their own lives… Aizawa's hands trembled at his sides. He couldn't think like that—about that possibility, or what he would have to do in retribution.
"I'm… going to make us some tea," he stepped past Ide and into the kitchen. "I need to keep my hands busy. Any preferences?"
"Whatever you're having." Ide picked up the piece of paper left abandoned on the table and joined Aizawa in the kitchen. He pulled a lighter from the drawer beside the stove, hovering the paper in the sink before using the lighter to set it ablaze. Once the evidence had been reduced to cinders, he washed the remaining ash down the drain. "Ryuk, check on Yumi and Nozomu for me. I don't like them being alone."
"They're not alone—" he could feel the knowing look from Ide pressing into his back. Aizawa grimaced. "Yeah. I don't like it either. Eriko hasn't hit me in a while…" His plan to have Ryuk care for Nozomu at night was working exactly as he planned. So what did it say that Eriko not taking her anger out on him made him feel more on edge? "I don't think she will do anything to the kids, but… do what Ide says, Ryuk. Please." He wished he could be there for his children, but if Eriko found out L allowed random days off from the investigation, she would demand he request more of them. He couldn't afford to stay away from the investigation, but he didn't want to think of the punishment if he refused… It was better to keep these days a secret.
Ryuk rolled his eyes, but he didn't protest. "The things I do for apples," he chuckled as he went to leave. "If I'm the one taking care of your offspring, can I at least teach him to call me Mom? I can't be doing the heavy lifting and not get at least that."
Ide bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, but some of his laughter managed to slip free. "Please do."
Aizawa had to admit he wasn't fully paying attention while rummaging through the cabinet, but hearing Ide laugh meant whatever it was, he should allow it to happen if for nothing else than to hear him laugh again. "Sure, do what you want." He found the ingredients he was looking for, but as he checked the container to determine how much Ide had, he noticed something in the corner of his eye. Ice shot through his chest.
What…? He set down the tea container, and picked up the small bottle sitting beside the coffee machine, no doubt placed there so Ide wouldn't forget. He read the text in far too fresh of ink for his liking, and that jolt of fear proved more than warranted. The rest of his blood ran cold. The label was for a prescription he hope he would never see again.
"Hideki… Why did you—?"
He was interrupted by a loud knock at the door that made them both jump. Ide whipped around with wide eyes, his gaze landing on Aizawa and the bottle in his hands, flitting between that and the door, before turning toward the door. "Just a second!"
"What?" Aizawa set down the bottle and chased after his partner. "Hideki!"
Ide stopped just in front of the door, pursing his lips and squeezing his eyes shut. "Nightmares. That's all." He raised a finger to silence Aizawa and remind him there was someone on the other end of the door. He couldn't be too loud. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry for no reason. If something was wrong and not just annoying, I would tell you."
His hands gripped onto Ide's shoulders before Aizawa could realize what he was doing, firm but not enough to hurt or prevent Ide from pulling away. "That's all it is?"
Ide hesitated before giving an answer, but his eye contact with Aizawa never wavered. "That's all it is." He used his free hand to open the door, pulling out of Aizawa's grip and putting on a charming smile to greet the person at the door, only to be surprised by who it was. "Matsuda? Ukita?"
Matsuda greeted them with his usual sunny grin, reaching his arm off to the side and pulling Mogi into Aizawa and Ide's line of sight. "And Mogi!" His smile brightened as his eyes rested on Aizawa standing beside Ide, giving Mogi a chance to partially hide behind the other two. "Hey! We were going to look for you next. Ukita said we should see Ide first because he would know if you're available."
Aizawa shrugged. Be calm. Be calm. "That's usually right," he said. "If you want to get in contact with me and I'm at home, just call. And please never show up unannounced to my house—we just got Nozomu to sleep through the night."
Matsuda gave him a thumbs-up. "I'll keep that in mind for next time," he said. He was rocking on his heels, almost like he was unable to remain still. "Want to go out for drinks tonight? We've never done that before!"
Ide's brows furrowed. "We haven't?" He thought back to the last few months, and he realized. "Huh. We haven't. I guess the days blurred together, and I started counting break time as hanging out." He rested his hands in his pockets. "Sure, that sounds fun." He looked over his shoulder to address Aizawa. "I'm up for it. How about you?"
"I…" Was it okay to relax at a time like this? No, this could be good. If he had a better relationship with the rest of the task force, it would make him less likely to be suspected. "You know what? Sure. I could go for some drinks." He grabbed his jacket off the coat rack, grabbing Ide's as well and stepping out the door. As he made sure Ide put on the jacket instead of just holding it, he noticed there was someone missing. "Is the Superintendent not coming?"
Ukita rubbed the back of his neck, sucking in a breath through his teeth. "We tried to invite him, but whatever he was coming down with yesterday must have hit him hard. Sachiko didn't say how he was doing, just that he slept for most of the day."
Matsuda grinned. If Aizawa wasn't looking for it, he would have thought he was unperturbed, but one look at his eyes revealed he was the most concerned of all of them. His smile was to distract himself, and hopefully someone else. "He must be tired from working so hard on the case. So, while he rests his way, we can rest our way. I think we've all earned it." Matsuda said, taking the steps down to the street two at a time even if he tried to pretend he wasn't. "Maybe we can bring him something to cheer him up. I know just the place!" He grabbed Ukita by one arm and Mogi by the other, looking over his shoulder to make sure Aizawa and Ide were following them and hadn't retreated back into the apartment. "Come on! I'll pay tonight."
Aizawa chuckled. He wouldn't normally, but he could play along with Matsuda's bubbly attitude tonight. "How could I say no to free alcohol?" Ryuk would know where to find him. As long as they were bound by the notebook, the Shinigami could never wander too far. "Let's just try not to completely wreck ourselves. Just because we have the day off today doesn't mean we can do anything stupid we'll regret in the morning."
He wasn't sure he was heard over the young ones talking amongst themselves, as Matsuda finally managed to get Mogi to join the conversation, and for once, he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed. He could feel the smile on his face, watching them all laugh and chat about the newest magazine or whatever topic had captured their attention, and though Ide was lingering behind alongside him, he could see the tension easing away from his partner's shoulders. Good. They all deserve a break.
Even so, Aizawa couldn't get his mind to rest. He had long since cemented his resolve that he would never kill them, but what was he going to do? They weren't going to give up, and Aizawa wasn't going to accept bribes to shut down the case. What did that leave him with, then? Could he use diplomacy to win them over with time?
Aizawa paused. He had only considered it in passing before, but… could that work? He had already noticed Ukita and Matsuda shared some similar views to Kira. A lot of people could admit he was doing at least one thing right. Mogi rarely spoke, so he had yet to figure out his opinions on much of anything, but it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out.
He always thought Ide and Soichiro would be the hardest people to convince, but he already had Ide by his side. Soichiro would be next to impossible… but he could do it, eventually. He had no other choice but to do it.
Because the world he wanted to build was meant for them too…
Chapter Text
“Here’s what we do. We’re narrowing our investigation down to those Raye Penber was probing before the FBI investigation was compromised by him.” L gestured at Aizawa with the black pen in his hand, making sure he had Aizawa’s undivided attention. “That’s very few people. However, even if Kira were to be among them, there is nothing in particular from this incident that could link them to the crime. Calling them in for questioning is not going to work.”
This shouldn’t be possible. Aizawa wasn’t sure if this was a calculated move or a careless mistake, but for the first time since the investigation began, he was the only one here. He was alone in the hotel headquarters with no one but L for company.
Everyone else must be on errands. There was nothing unusual about that—Aizawa himself had just gotten back from his shift answering the phones. But something about this gave him an uneasy feeling in his chest. If Kira was malicious, and he found himself alone with the one person standing in his way, he didn’t want to think about what could happen.
L seemed unaware of the danger he would be in if Kira was anyone else, but Aizawa knew better than to base his assumptions on his own perception. He wouldn’t be so foolish without reason, so he had no doubt there was a plan in mind to counteract anything that could happen.
“Our focus will be Deputy Director-General Kitamura and his family, and Detective-Superintendent Yagami and his family,” L said. He held out a stack of papers from the coffee table, and Aizawa took a seat to read through them. The handwriting was neat, and the paper itself looked to be a copy of someone’s notes. “Penber reported there were ‘no grounds for suspicion’ for any of them, but when accounting for his incompetence, it would be foolish not to do a second investigation.”
“Huh?” Aizawa flipped over the piece of paper in his hand. These are Raye Penber’s notes, but there’s nothing about the Kitamura family here… “I thought the investigation was compromised before Penber started tailing the Kitamura family.”
“That was the story the NPA was told, wasn’t it?” L rested his hands in his pockets, but his eyes remained almost unblinking, carefully observing Aizawa’s demeanor. “That’s not an unreasonable assumption, but the truth is he was tailing both families on my orders. Before being apprehended by the Metropolitan Police Department, Penber attempted to destroy the evidence in his notepad to prevent the leak of classified information. However, he only managed to remove any information on the Kitamura family.”
I see… “Okay, I get that, but I still have a few questions.” Aizawa said. “Would Light have really pulled his stunt exposing the investigation if he was Kira? That draws attention to him, and that seems like the last thing Kira wants.”
L tilted his head to the side, his thumb taking its usual place against his bottom lip. “You’re suggesting Kira is more likely to be part of the Kitamura family?”
“You didn’t let me finish.” Aizawa set the papers down on the table in front of him. “Kitamura hasn’t been part of the investigation beyond acting as communication with the higher-ups. Would he have enough information on the intimate details of the investigation that anyone in his family could use? From my understanding, he’s been caught up trying to keep the peace with antsy political figures.”
That got a small smile from the detective. “You’re right about that. The probability of Kira being in one of those families is only 5%, but if Kira found out about the FBI early on and changed tactics to account for that, it would be through Penber, and therefore through one of these families.” L bent down to pick up the papers on the table, reading them over for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. “Don’t tell Yagami-San this, but my focus is more so on his family than on the Kitamura family, for exactly the reasons you described. I will focus my time on Light, and I sent Mogi to approach Kaede Kitamura and claim to be L.”
Ryuk chuckled, just loud enough for his presence to no longer be white noise. “All of this talk about Raye Penber, when he’s not the one who made you aware of the FBI at all. I know he has no way of knowing that, but it’s kind of fun to watch.” He looked down at Aizawa. Even knelt on the ground beside him, the Shinigami was considerably taller. “But it looks like being quiet about knowing is what got that Light kid in trouble.”
How was I supposed to know Light would do that? Aizawa pretended to ignore him. “Nothing about the parents?” he asked. “Light and Kaede are eighteen. Isn’t that on the younger end for our profile of Kira?”
“Yes, but of the members of both the Kitamura and Yagami families, the college-aged students would have the highest probability of being Kira,” L said. “They would have the most reason to be dissatisfied with the way things are. That isn’t to say I will ignore the other members of the family, just that they are not the focus.” He took a sip from a glass, and Aizawa was astounded to see it was ice water. Someone must have forced him to drink water. “We won’t have any investigation on the children, if that is what you’re wondering. They wouldn’t have the mental processing to understand the topics Kira is trying to tackle, let alone have the foresight to plan and execute multiple murders.” He cleared his throat, pressing two fingers against his trachea as he did so. “Your daughter is nine years old, yes? You should be able to understand where I am coming from.”
“I would have said you were insane if you suspected the children of anything.” Aizawa forced a slightly awkward chuckle. “Should I be prepared for an angry phone call from Kitamura about this?”
L adjusted his grip on his water glass, causing the ice cubes to clink against each other. “Hm… that is likely. Yagami-San is in a meeting with him, but it’s to be expected when given an undesirable answer for someone to go to another source.” His hand became paler the longer he was holding the glass, the cold condensation on the edges causing it to slip from his hand, shattering against the wooden floor. L’s toes curled at the presence of water and broken glass around his bare feet.
Aizawa had barely registered the sound before his instincts took over. “Careful.” He looked down at the glass and water scattered on the ground. There isn’t anywhere he can safely step away. “Here.” He guided L’s arms to wrap around his neck, and that was enough for the detective to understand what he was doing. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his long limbs around Aizawa’s torso in a manner similar to a koala.
Aizawa staggered slightly, but it didn’t take as long as he would have expected to right himself. Resting a hand on L’s back to make sure he had a solid hold, he froze. What? He shifted his hand just a bit on L’s back. I can’t have felt that. That has to be wrong.
But… it wasn’t. His hand was resting against L’s spine and ribs, and he could feel each individual bone.
It’s none of my business. Aizawa swallowed dryly. Ryuzaki’s an adult. He can make his own decisions. It sounded wrong even thinking that. Every parental instinct flared into overdrive, burning with the need to shield the young man from harm. This didn’t make sense. Wasn’t Watari acting as some kind of guardian to him? How could he turn a blind eye to this?
“Ryuzaki…”
“Yes?”
Aizawa carefully untangled L’s limbs from around his torso, sitting him down on the couch. He made sure L was situated before gesturing to the broken glass strewn across the floor. “Do you have something to clean that up?”
L nodded. “Yes. There should be a dustpan and a brush in the closet. I believe there are spare towels as well.” He rose to his feet and made his way to the closet, rummaging through until he found both the dustpan and a towel. “These should work.”
“Thank you.” Aizawa knelt down in front of the mess, using the spare towel to soak up as much of the water as he could. If he could dry the area first, it would be easier to gather the broken glass. The soft sound of L’s footsteps came to a stop behind him, and he could feel the detective’s wide-eyed stare pressing against his back. Aizawa pretended not to notice.
“You have to be careful with glass. Sometimes, when you think you’ve gotten every piece, a shard slips through the cracks and hurts you.” L crouched down by Aizawa’s side, and Aizawa noted he was now wearing a pair of plain white shoes. “It’s quite remarkable, the kind of damage just one shard can do.”
He reached for something just underneath the table, and as he pulled his hand back, there between his fingers was an almost invisible shard of glass. Aizawa stared at the piece, then back at L. His eyes had never once left Aizawa, even as he dropped the shard into the dustpan. Almost like he was waiting for something.
Whatever he was waiting for, L seemed to realize he wouldn’t find it here. “Thank you for the help, Aizawa-San,” he pulled himself to his feet. “If you excuse me, I am going to meet with Light for our psychology class. The others should be returning shortly.”
Without another word, he turned and walked out, leaving Aizawa seemingly alone in the hotel room. Silence hung heavy in the air as Aizawa tried to make sense of the interaction. What just happened? His eyes wandered down to the dustpan, and the shard of glass L had taken off the ground.
Was that a threat?
OoOoO
“What do you mean, you can’t tell me?!”
Soichiro could only be relieved his eyes were closed, otherwise he knew he would have started twitching. “I beg your pardon, sir. But L’s orders are that nobody outside the task force, even yourself, sir…” he had to take another breath, but it didn’t come in through the tightness of his chest. Days it had been like this, and it had only gotten worse. He knew he looked like a disheveled mess—his clothes were wrinkled, his hair was unkempt, and he could feel the cold sweat on his forehead. But as much as he wanted to be more put-together, the simple act of getting dressed had left him exhausted and concerningly overwhelmed.
I just have to get through the day. He had been repeating those words to himself in a mantra ever since he woke up. I just have to get through the day. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. He had a job to do, and he couldn’t afford to be distracted. Yet that mantra was his only solace when faced with a meeting with a very displeased Kitamura.
It was impossible for Kitamura not to have noticed the fatigue weighing on Soichiro more than ever. However, any inklings of worry or sympathy he may have were put aside to focus on the intention of the meeting, and Soichiro couldn’t blame him. “Not even to account for where you are or what you’re doing?” Kitamura asked, more forceful this time. “Or why there’s never more than one person in the task force office?”
“I’m very sorry, sir…”
Kitamura closed his eyes, his face set in a deep frown that Soichiro knew wasn’t the moniker of anything good. If he remained unsatisfied, he would turn to Aizawa for answers. “What about this? Someone has come up to my daughter saying he’s L.”
…Mogi, maybe…? Ide wouldn’t accept that kind of request. Nausea kept building less in his stomach and more in his chest. Soichiro rested his hand on Kitamura’s desk for support. This didn’t feel like the imminent anxiety attack he thought it was. If it was… it was worse than any he had experienced before.
Why did all of this have to happen now? He did not have time for this. There was so much he had to do besides keep himself upright. Aizawa still struggled with everything going on at home. Matsuda needed a hand to hold. This was Ide’s first case with a guaranteed death sentence since… And he couldn’t compartmentalize any of it because L had made no secret that he suspected Light. Light, who he worried about so much.
Sachiko had been keeping a close watch on Light ever since the incident with the FBI. She said Light was still a good kid, but something had been different about him the last few months, and she couldn’t figure out what it was. Was he in trouble? Was he still having mental troubles? Could he feel anything? Could he really be—
No. No, Light wasn’t Kira. That was impossible. He was having a hard time, and it was normal for teenagers and young adults to have a rebellious streak. Light’s was just coming late. He was a late bloomer, that didn’t mean he was a killer. If he was… he did something terrible because Soichiro hadn’t been there for him, and he was cursed with an evil power.
And that was the part that haunted his every waking moment. More and more he kept thinking about Kira, that little voice in the back of his head nagging incessantly that he didn’t have all the facts. It pushed him to learn more, to examine every minute action and inaction for clues, and the more he learned from Kira’s MO… he couldn’t help but feel unbearably sorry for him.
There was no doubt in his mind anymore, the person behind the mask of Kira had suffered. He must have. And despite all of Soichiro’s instincts as an officer, part of him wanted nothing more than to take this person away from whatever horrible experience made him think this was the only way.
Kira was evil. There was no denying that... Was there? Lately, he had started thinking about it differently. More like… the real evil was the power to kill people. Someone who found themselves with that power was cursed. No matter how it was used, anything obtained by killing people could never bring true happiness.
He felt sorry for Kira, and that had stirred up even more uncertainty about his own reality. Listen to me… why am I sympathetic to a murderer? Was something wrong with him? Had this case broken his mind? He had to come to his senses. There was no reason for this. Once they captured Kira, he would see how ridiculous these doubts had been.
Kitamura’s impatient tapping on the table brought Soichiro back to the present. “Is my daughter a suspect?” He asked through clenched teeth, his face contorted with the effort of suppressing a shout.
Soichiro took a little longer than he would have wanted to formulate a response. The pressure in his chest was mounting. What’s wrong with me? “I cannot answer that question either. And I request you keep secret the fact that someone calling himself L approached your daughter.” Soichiro said. “But please set your mind at rest, sir… It isn’t quite the case that your daughter is under suspicion. That much I can tell you quite positively. If anyone is truly a suspect in this case, it’s my son. Kaede is only being considered on a technicality—she was being watched by Raye Penber during the same period Light exposed the FBI.” Kitamura’s eyes widened in alarm, and Soichiro cursed himself. He shouldn’t have said anything. “Please forget you heard that…”
Despite his anticipation of outrage or further questions, Soichiro was taken aback by Kitamura leaning back in his seat. He appeared… strangely relieved. “It doesn’t sound like Light is a suspect so much as he made himself a target by accident.”
Soichiro forced himself to smile, trying to ignore the way the shaking at the corners of his mouth betrayed him. “That’s right… Light will be proven innocent, and I’m sure surveillance on Kaede will end much sooner.” Ryuzaki may be a brilliant detective, but he is human. This is all a misunderstanding.
Kitamura seemed content with that, but Soichiro had known him for too long to pretend that was all he wanted to discuss. His suspicion was proven correct as Kitamura got up from his seat. His back was turned to Soichiro, looking out the window at the people passing by on the street. “Yagami… It’s been over four months since this case first came to light,” he said. “The papers are saying the police are incompetent… that L is incompetent—”
“With due respect, sir! The police are so scared of Kira they’ve run from the case with their tails between their legs. Could anybody call that competent?!” He slammed his hand down on the table, but Kitamura barely reacted to the outburst. He couldn’t tell if the refusal to look him in the eye was from apathy or shame. Did it matter? “You know very well how many detectives I have left on the task force, sir. If you’re so concerned about what the papers say, then please make damn sure they don’t find out that most of the officers on this case have jumped ship!”
His words hung heavy in the air long after he had finished speaking. Soichiro’s apprehension grew the longer he waited for a response from Kitamura, but all that greeted him was silence. He didn’t even move to acknowledge him.
Soichiro’s breath caught in his throat, and he pulled his hand away from the desk. He shouldn’t have done that. That would only make everything worse. But he wasn’t going to apologize. He simply bowed respectfully as he turned to leave, trying to hide the sway of his legs underneath him. “If you will excuse me now, sir.” Just keep walking… Keep walking…
From behind him, Soichiro heard Kitamura let out a heavy sigh, bringing him some pause. “Yagami.”
“Yes, sir?”
“What about L?” Kitamura finally looked over his shoulder to face him. “Can we trust him?”
So that’s what this is really about. “He is certainly more competent than we are,” Soichiro said. “Yes, we can trust him. As we speak, he is out there risking his life to solve this case.” He waited to see if Kitamura had something else to say, but he didn’t. Soichiro sighed, reaching for the door handle to leave…
Only to be stopped as the pressure in his chest became crushing, as though an invisible hand had grabbed hold of his heart and squeezed hard. A wave of dizziness crashed over him, leaving him leaning against the bookshelf. He couldn’t move. He tried to breathe, but none of his breaths felt like enough. Something was wrong.
He must have made a noise, because he felt Kitamura’s hand on his shoulder. When had he come over? Soichiro struggled to make out Kitamura’s expression or the tone of his voice, but something in the back of his head told him he should be worried. “Yagami? Is something wrong?”
“I don’t… know…”
His vision blurred, taking with it the last of his balance as knees buckled under him. His weight leaned against one of the shelves sent it crashing to the ground. What…? Everything around him was hazy, yet somehow, it didn’t feel that way at all. Chest pain… Chest pain… Heart attack?
Kira… Were we wrong…?
That realization brought with it a moment of lucidity—the world came back into focus just enough that he could comprehend what was happening. No… I’m not going to die… He tried to reach for his belt buckle, but his fingers no longer responded well. I’m not going to die like this…
“Stay with me, Soichiro!” Someone was shaking him awake, probably Kitamura, but the world around him felt further and further away. When had he closed his eyes? “Someone help! Yagami needs help!”
“Do you mind…?” The edges of his vision were getting dark. Everything was fading… “Belt buckle twice… Watari will… call…”
“Soichiro? …Soichiro?!”
OoOoO
Aizawa heard Watari’s phone ring, loud enough to pull him from the reports he was reading on officials worldwide and their crimes. L claimed they were doing it to see what issues were prevalent that the law did nothing about, to predict Kira’s next move. He used this to start his research for his future kills he could investigate in more detail at home, but he had enough people in his backlog to last him another two months, so he wasn’t too annoyed by the distraction. “Who is that?”
Watari’s expression never gave away much of anything, but Aizawa could have sworn he saw traces of genuine alarm. His heart leaped into his throat as Watari hurriedly dialed the number of whoever had called him. “Mr. Yagami?”
The voice on the other end wasn’t Soichiro. Aizawa wasn’t close enough to make out any of the words, but what he could hear did not sound like the Superintendent. What was going on? Did something happen?
His fears were only confirmed by Watari’s response. “Deputy Director-General, please listen to me. Is he still breathing? Good. Is he conscious? No…” He typed something into his computer, and continued talking without once breaking his line of thought. “Emergency services are on their way. In the meantime, I advise you to do what you can to help him regain consciousness. Pay special attention to changes in his condition until emergency services arrive.”
“What’s going on?” Matsuda was the first to dare voice the question they all wanted an answer to. “What’s wrong with the Chief?!”
Watari closed his phone. “Mr. Yagami has collapsed. I must notify Ryuzaki.”
He said it with such nonchalance, such indifference, that Aizawa almost didn’t fathom the unimaginable horror of what he was saying. Soichiro… “What?! You—You can’t just say that!” He got up from his seat, practically chasing after Watari as he left the room to make another phone call. “What do you mean he collapsed?!”
Watari’s face remained devoid of any emotion, yet Aizawa couldn’t shake the feeling he was about to be scolded. Was he losing his mind? “I’m afraid I don’t have many more details than what you know,” Watari said. “He was in a meeting with Deputy-Director General Kitamura, and he collapsed.”
Ide struggled to get up from the couch, any attempt to do so leaving him staring vacantly down at the floor, leaning against the armrest for any semblance of support. “Was it Kira…? Did Kira do this?” He could hear the soft tremor in his partner’s voice. Aizawa knew he wasn’t being accused—he didn’t question that for a second. All of Ide’s words were lies, but the weight of what this could mean was heavy on everyone. If Soichiro died…
Aizawa shook himself. What is wrong with me? He’s going to be all right. We’re not going to lose him. I don’t need to think about what could happen if he… He distracted himself by taking a seat beside Ide to assure him. No words needed to be said between them to know Ide was going through the same inner turmoil as he was. Fear for the life of the one man who cared for them unconditionally, and the battle with that selfish fear of what would come next. Aizawa didn’t know if anything he could do would help, but it seemed his presence was enough to help Ide relax.
Matsuda carded his fingers through his hair, rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself. “No, that doesn’t make sense. The Chief hasn’t done anything wrong.” He straightened suddenly in his seat. “Oh! He’s been feeling sick for the last few days, right? Maybe that’s why he collapsed. None of Kira’s victims ever got sick first, right?”
Now that he mentions it… “You’re right. If any of Kira’s victims were sick first, we would have heard about it by now, and Kitamura made it sound like he’s unconscious. Kira’s victims would be dead.” Aizawa said. He squeezed Ide’s hand as he got up from the couch, pulling his jacket out of the closet and shrugging it on over his button-up shirt. “I’m going to the hospital. Matsuda, try to get a hold of Mogi and Ukita. Ide, are you coming with me?”
Ide was already out the door, throwing on his jacket as he ran. The hospital nearest the NPA headquarters wasn’t far from them, just far enough it would be faster to drive than to walk. Ide slid into the passenger seat the second Aizawa unlocked the car door, and he waited until all the doors were closed to turn to Ryuk sitting contorted in the back. “Is he alive?”
“I can’t tell you, Hideki,” Ryuk said. He pulled his knees up to his chest to keep them from phasing through the vehicle as Aizawa started driving. “That’s against the rules.”
Ide leaned his head against the headrest, craning his neck to maintain eye contact with the Shinigami without turning fully around. “It’s against the rules to tell me anything about his lifespan,” he said. He held up a bright red apple Aizawa did not remember him having before. “A yes or no question of if he’s alive shouldn’t be in violation of that.”
Ryuk groaned loudly, his elbow propped on the top of the driver’s seat as he rested his cheek on his fist. “Fine. He is alive,” he said. “I can’t tell you if he’ll stay alive, but at the moment, he should be alive.” He snatched the apple from Ide’s open hand. Ide only gave a knowing, slightly smug smile in response.
“Good.” Aizawa’s muscle memory kicked in the moment they came up on the too-familiar sign of the hospital. He found a parking space reasonably close to their destination within only a few seconds, going through the motions on autopilot like it was the most natural thing in the world. I hate coming back here. Every time he hoped to be out of practice, something happened to remind him of where to go, where to check in, and the direction of the waiting room to sit down. He didn’t realize his hand had clasped around Ide’s, and he had no interest in letting go.
“Light?” Ide asked. “Are you all right?”
Aizawa refocused his vision, realizing Light had been sitting in the waiting room the entire time, bouncing his leg impatiently. His hands were tightly clasped together, and though his bangs had curtained off his eyes, Aizawa could feel the bloodlust radiating off the young man. “I’ll be fine.”
L came back from somewhere out of sight, a bag in hand he must have gotten from the vending machine. Aizawa couldn’t read the label, but it looked to be some type of gummy bear. He held the bag out for Light. “To take your mind off things,” he said.
Light cracked a small smile, taking the bag and slipping it into his school bag at his feet. “Thanks, Ryuzaki…” he kept his head bowed, staring down at the spotless floors. “Did Kitamura say what happened?” Aizawa’s brow furrowed. Should they be talking about this in a semi-public waiting room? He looked around and found the room was completely devoid of other people, save for the occasional staff member passing through. That’s odd. Did L have something to do with this?
L seemed comfortable showing his face and taking part in discussions about the case here, so he couldn’t be far from the truth. “He said Yagami-San appeared unwell, but he had not anticipated he would collapse so suddenly,” he said. “He chose to stay in the NPA headquarters to do damage control before any rumors started.”
“Right…” Aizawa couldn’t be sure how long he sat in the waiting room. He never wanted to look at the clock in a place like this—it would only remind him of how much time he spent agonizing over every potential outcome. At some point he guessed was a half hour in, Matsuda had arrived with Mogi and Ukita, and joined them in the tense silence.
Exhaustion began to set in after another while of waiting, and it was only when Aizawa felt himself starting to nod off that he heard footsteps coming closer to them. He snapped up in his seat, just in time to see Sachiko come in through the door separating the waiting room from the rest of the hospital. His abrupt reaction startled the others out of varying degrees of sleep, and all eyes turned towards Sachiko.
He had never been so relieved to see her smile.
“He’s all right. The doctor said…” Sachiko hesitated, trying to figure out how to best explain. “He did have a heart attack, but the signs were there for a few days. Nothing like the scans for victims of Kira. It seems he overworked himself—the stress was destroying his body. But it was caught in time, so while he needs to be monitored for the next few days, he should make a full recovery.”
Aizawa exhaled deeply, not realizing he had been holding his breath the whole time. He could hear that same relief from the others around him. He’s going to be all right…
Sachiko chuckled, the tension in her body slowly melting away the longer she had time to process the stress of the last few hours. “He’s awake, and in good spirits,” she added. “He’s already making jokes, thanking whatever higher power allowed him to wait three days to have a heart attack.”
Light ran his hand through his messed-up hair. “Good thing Kira has a schedule. That could have been really awkward.” His eyes lifted from the floor, and he noticed the odd looks from Matsuda and Ukita. “Who wouldn’t make the connection? The media makes it out that Kira kills with heart attacks, not a rare form of cardiac arrest.”
“While we can’t rule out the possibility completely, I sincerely doubt this had anything to do with Kira,” L said. “Not even taking into consideration that Kira has never failed to commit a murder that we know of, this doesn’t line up with Kira’s MO. I already did a thorough investigation into Yagami-San and found nothing that could make him a target for Kira.” His face brightened with a soft smile as Light offered him some of the gummy bears he finally had enough of an appetite to eat. “Unless Kira truly will kill higher-ranking officials against him regardless of crime, Yagami-San may be the single person with any type of political power I could say wouldn’t be a victim of Kira.”
Light watched L enjoying one of the gummy bears. He opened his mouth as if about to say something, but then he paused. Aizawa could see the gears spinning in Light’s head, changing course from whatever path they were on. The path he landed on left the young man gritting his teeth and keeping his head held high. “Kira may not have done it himself, but he’s still responsible for what happened.” He clenched his fist at his side, his nails digging into his palm. “I made a promise… If anything happened to him, I would make sure Kira got the death penalty. I meant that.”
Sachiko sighed, “Light…” she leaned down, enveloping her son in an embrace, resting her chin on top of his head. Aizawa could see the shine of unshed tears over Light’s eyes, but as soon as it appeared, he blinked it away like it never existed.
“Mom, can Ryuzaki come with me to see him?” Light asked. “There’s something we need to talk about.” Sachiko nodded, releasing her hold on Light and gesturing for him and L to come with her into the main area beyond the waiting room. As the door slowly closed, Aizawa could hear her talking.
“So, Ryuzaki. Has talking to my son cleared away your concerns?”
“To be honest…”
He couldn’t hear anything else as the door closed. Matsuda laughed with relief, leaning back against the wall and causing a few loose strands of hair to fall in his face. “I’m glad he’s okay,” he said. “I… I don’t know what I would do if he…”
Ide quietly hummed in agreement. “I’m going to give you a heads-up. Ukita, Mogi, listen.” Matsuda, Ukita and Mogi all leaned closer, hanging onto every word that Ide spoke. “The Superintendent is going to try and leave the hospital and come back to work tomorrow.” He gestured toward the door Sachiko had gone through. “I’ll bet you anything he’s going to apologize for inconveniencing the investigation and promise to be back at work as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, get used to that,” Aizawa said, unable to hide his amusement at the matching horrified expressions of the younger ones. They still had some self-preservation and standards about them. How long would that last?
“What the fuck…?” Ukita whispered. He sounded slightly terrified, with a thousand-yard stare focused squarely on the floor. Aizawa wasn’t certain he knew he had spoken aloud. “That’s… That’s not how that works. He doesn’t let us overwork ourselves. We get breaks when we need them.”
Aizawa shrugged. “This is a case of ‘do as I say, not as I do,’” he said. “He will never give you a hard time for resting when you need it, but he will never apply that standard to himself. We should shift around our jobs for the week to make sure there’s nothing for him to worry about.” Speaking of which… He rested his hand on Ide’s shoulder to get his attention. “It’s getting late. We should turn in for the night.”
“Agreed.” Ide pressed his hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. “I would stay longer, but visiting hours are just about to end. We wouldn’t be able to see him.” He stood up to follow Aizawa and Ryuk out of the hospital, though not before stealing another look over his shoulder at the young ones who were still anxiously seated. “Get some rest, all of you. I’m sure Ryuzaki will allow us time to visit him in the morning.”
They both made it back to the car, and Aizawa found himself staring up at the night sky where Ryuk was flying overhead, casting a shadow only he and Ide could see. He would go on ahead to give Aizawa a warning of what to expect at home—if he would be safe, or if he needed to be home to protect the children. An irrational fear, he hoped, but one he would never be able to shake.
But the Shinigami’s absence gave him and Ide a rare moment of peace. The moment the car door closed, Aizawa let out the breath he had been holding, leaning back against his seat and closing his eyes. He could tell Ide had done the same.
Neither said a word for what could have been seconds, minutes, or an hour, taking that time just to decompress in the silence from the hurricane of emotions they had been assaulted with in the last few hours. For a moment, time seemed to stand still.
They couldn’t stay that way forever, no matter how much they may want to. Aizawa sighed wearily, looking over to see Ide curled up on his side in the passenger seat, not quite looking at him. Something seemed to be on his mind. “Hideki… About earlier…”
“I knew you didn’t write his name,” Ide said. “But it would be foolish to ignore the possibility in front of the others.” His eyes drifted closed, and Aizawa made a note to stop for coffee before the night was over. “The investigation still isn’t certain if Kira will kill those against him. I know you would never do such a thing, but that doesn’t mean the others do.”
“I know. I meant about…” His hands fisted in the fabric of his sleeves. I can’t let this happen again. “What would we do if something happened to the others? I don’t think either of us considered something happening to them…”
Ide understood what he was asking. “With the remaining people of the investigation kept a secret, any accident or death could bring more suspicion onto us.” He traced small figure-eights on the back of his seat with his fingertip. “I don’t think we need to worry about that. There was no advantage to attacking Soichiro, and nobody on the task force has anything to hide that would endanger them. It didn’t take long for Ryuzaki to write off the idea of Soichiro being attacked by Kira—I don’t see why the others would be any different.”
“No, Ryuzaki is thorough.” Aizawa said. “He might not think this was an attack because of anything Soichiro did wrong, but like you said, the investigation isn’t certain if Kira will attack those working against him. Soichiro would be the perfect test for that, because if Kira attacked him, that would be the only explanation.” He rested his forehead on the top of the steering wheel. “There’s no evidence to prove anything, but Ryuzaki isn’t going to let this go. It’s a double-edged sword…”
“There’s nothing we can do about that. Ryuzaki knows none of us would harm Soichiro, and neither would Light.” Ide said. He could hear the exhaustion in Ide’s voice, prompting him to start the car and take him home. “I’m going to be optimistic. You don’t attack the people going against you, and that will become apparent with time. Even if Ryuzaki lingers on it, it won’t lead him anywhere. All we have to do is make sure Soichiro can get some rest and recover. It’s the least we can do for him.”
Aizawa softened as he stole another glance at his partner. What would I do without you? “Yeah, you’re right.” The investigation would slow with Soichiro hospitalized, and Aizawa hadn’t made any mistakes. They had time. There was nothing to worry about…
OoOoO
“Grrr… What the hell’s with these lame-brained ideas?! Is this all they can come up with?!” Demegawa crumpled the newest proposal in his fist, tossing it into the trash can on the opposite side of the room. The paper missed the can entirely, ending up in the pile of discarded papers surrounding it. Do these guys think all they have to do is run a Kira special and people’re gonna tune in?! My shows get the ratings because I do stories the other networks won’t touch, don’t they get it?!
If the police were being quiet and there weren’t any good stories out there, then bloody well make something up! So what if they’d already gotten a bunch of warnings from the communications ministry? What did they think was going to happen? Kira would kill them for the crime of getting some ratings? Please. This was entertainment. It had been this way since the start of the industry.
The creak of the door opening caught his attention, and he turned to see his assistant Mari stepping inside. She didn’t pay any mind to the mess on the floor, gracefully walking past it to pass him the heavy-duty envelope in her hands. “Special delivery for you, Director Demegawa.”
Demegawa took the envelope from her. “Oh, hey, thanks.” His brows furrowed as he looked the envelope over. I’m not expecting any delivery. He leaned back in his seat, holding his cigarette between his fingers. “Any idea who it’s from?”
Mari shook her head. “The sender didn’t write their name or address.”
“Don’t tell me it’s a mail bomb.” He let out a barking laugh, waving his hand in a nonchalant gesture to dismiss her. “At least that would be worth making a story about.” Mari bowed respectfully and was quick to leave. Demegawa watched her go. She never did get his sense of humor. Her loss.
He ripped open the envelope, pouring out the contents onto the table. Video-tapes…? A letter sat neatly folded beside them, and Demegawa wasted no time in opening it. What he found… was better than he could have ever imagined.
“To Director Demegawa, Sakura TV.
I am Kira. The proof of that is on video 1.
When you’ve watched that and are satisfied that I am Kira, please broadcast videos 2 through 4 on your television network, in accordance with the dates and times given in the second sheet of paper enclosed here.
By carrying out murders that were announced in advance on National TV, I will prove to the public that I am Kira. At the same time, a message from Kira will be sent out to the entire world…”
“If you do not broadcast these tapes as instructed, I will kill your company’s board of directors one by one, starting with the president…” Demegawa’s face stretched into a wide grin. “If I don’t broadcast these tapes…? Are you kidding me? Sheesh, if these are real, this is going to be insane… I’m so stoked, I think I’m having a heart attack!”
Chapter Text
There were times when Aizawa had to ask himself how much he was willing to put up with on a given day. How long it took to determine that varied depending on how little sleep he had gotten the night before and how much nonsense he had dealt with leading up to that point. Yet somehow, within less than five seconds of the current situation, he decided what he was willing to put up with wasn't this.
Exactly what this was, Aizawa wasn't entirely sure. He would need more information to be certain of the situation and how he should respond. But even with nothing to go off of, the unsettling feeling in his gut was enough to convince him it had to be stopped.
"In other words, we are being held hostage by Kira and have no choice but to air these videos. At the same time, we feed that doing so is our professional duty. I would like to emphasize once again that these tapes are not being broadcast as a hoax or for purposes of sensationalism."
Watari had been the one to inform them. Walking in with a speed not thought possible of the elderly man, he had turned on the television without warning, with the insistence they had to see whatever was being broadcasted. Aizawa hadn't known what to expect. What was there to expect with Sakura TV, the bottom-feeders of the media world? Nothing they could say would be worth a damn, so he hadn't understood what had Watari so on edge. Had they made a news report defaming L and the task force?
He wished more than anything that was all it was.
"The first tape announced the time and date of death for Seichi And Seiji Machiba, who were arrested the other day. Exactly as predicted, these two men died yesterday at 7pm of heart attacks. Who besides Kira is capable of carrying out something like this? From this fact, we have concluded that the sender of these videos was none other than Kira."
If this was true, they were right. There was nothing besides the Death Note capable of that. Nobody besides Kira could do that…
But I didn't do this. The only time I ever went after criminals was to test the Death Note's powers, and I only used a heart attack once. So who the hell…? Aizawa and Ide locked eyes, silently asking each other the same question. Ide wouldn't be responsible for this. He would never act in this way, and he had no interest in using the Death Note. If he did, he would have asked for a page, and Aizawa knew for a fact the piece in his wallet was intact, and Ide hadn't interacted with the actual notebook. Ide knew Aizawa wasn't responsible for this either. There was no reason for him to do such a thing.
If neither of us did this… Aizawa rushed over to the computer, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he typed in the names of the victims. Seichi and Seiji Machiba? His breath caught in his throat. TV celebrities caught with some drugs, and while it was only covered in daytime tabloid shows, they had been arrested, and they were dead… This wasn't a hoax from Sakura TV either. That could only mean one thing.
From the corner of his eye, Ukita noticed what Aizawa was doing. He pulled himself away from the TV and turned to fully face him. "This has got to be another one of their fake stories, right…?" His eyes shone with a cautiously hopeful gleam, though it seemed he was barely able to convince himself, much less anyone else.
"The envelope we received contained instructions from Kira telling us to air this, the second video, at exactly 5:59pm today. We have not viewed this video ourselves, but Kira's instructions state that it foretells yet another death, and contains a message to people all over the world."
Matsuda drew back from the television. "No way… Not even Sakura would go this far…" He glanced cautiously around the room, searching for someone who could reaffirm his desperate hopes, until he landed on Aizawa. He could almost see the hair on the back of Matsuda's neck stand on end, as his stomach dropped. "…Aizawa?"
"This is real. Oh fuck, this is real…" His attention shifted to the television screen, where Ryuk was watching from his perch atop the back of L's seat, his hands dangerously close to the top of the detective's head. Even the Shinigami remained dead silent, enraptured by everything playing out in front of his eyes, and somehow, that made it all the more unsettling than if he had fallen into his usual laughter.
"The time is 5:59pm. You are now going to see Kira's video."
The screen abruptly changed, switching away from Sakura TV to a plain white background. The only thing of note was the name 'Kira' written in gothic font, and immediately, Aizawa recognized it as the same lettering used by L. Was it being used out of laziness? An intentional mockery?
The voice began speaking, but it was so garbled that Aizawa recoiled on instinct. He had to strain his hearing to make out what was actually being said. This must have been recorded on a cheap, easily disposable, home video camera. He could feel the building pressure in his head from the effort it took to translate the distorted words into comprehensible language.
"I am Kira. If this video is aired exactly at 5:59pm on April 18th, it is now 5:59 and 38… 39… 40 seconds."
Ide kept his arms crossed. His hand tightened on his forearm, biting back the scathing remarks Aizawa wished he would say. From the hints of annoyance on L's otherwise blank expression, he had similar sentiments, but nobody dared say a word. They didn't so much as breathe.
"Please switch channels to Taiyo TV. The news anchor, Kazuhiko Hibima, will die of a heart attack at precisely 6pm."
"What the…?!"
"No way…"
"Change the channel!" L's command broke through the panicked confusion, bringing everyone back to their senses. Aizawa practically scrambled to grab the remote and change the channel.
He couldn't do it fast enough. He changed the channel… and all he could hear were screams. He hadn't even fully registered the dead body on the screen before changing the channel back.
That confirmed it. Any hope he could have that it wasn't true…
L snapped his fingers, motioning behind him in the direction of where Watari lingered. "Watari. Bring another TV set in here…" he said. "No, two TV sets."
"Done."
"Mr. Hibima has consistently referred to Kira as 'evil' in his news reports. This was his punishment. But one demonstration alone does not serve as absolute proof. I will present you with another. My next target is a commentator who has also condemned me repeatedly. He is scheduled to be appearing live on the air at this time."
"Go to Channel 24."
Ide sucked in a breath as they were met with the ghastly sight of another dead body. "Since when has Kira started targeting people for their opinions?" he asked. "Haven't two of his batches been against politicians trying to limit free speech?"
Right. I did do that. Too many unpredictable factors were at play to let the mistaken belief this was him continue. If there was anything he could use to shoot down that notion, he had to run with it. "Yeah! Why—Why would that change all of a sudden? Kira never cared before about what people thought. He didn't even react to Lind L. Tailor, right?"
"That's right…" Dread washed over L's face. "They said Kira would be sending a message to people all over the world. I wouldn't have been worried about that before, but something is wrong here." His dread turned to panic, his voice raising beyond what anyone had heard from the usually calm detective before. "We have to make them stop this broadcast, or something terrible is going to happen!"
All he had to do was make the order, and Aizawa noticed a visible shift in Matsuda. He gained a particular resolve, and he rushed over to the hotel phone, clutching his cell phone in his other hand. "I'll get Sakura TV's phone number!" He dropped his phone on the side table, snatching the computer away from Aizawa and setting it in front of him. His hands flew across the two decides, juggling between typing information into the computer and dialing the number on his phone. "But if Kira is holding Sakura TV hostage, they might not be able to answer the phones or stop the broadcast." He turned to look over his shoulder at the others, his hair falling in his face and covering one of his eyes. "We should call the Special Unit. The guys there are trained to—"
"We can't," L said. "We don't have enough information. Calling for reinforcements could just as easily endanger the lives of the assault team or the hostages. See if you can get in contact with anyone from Sakura TV. That will give us a baseline for what we're dealing with."
Aizawa pulled out his phone, and Ide did as well. They had to have some friends who could help with this—No, I can't call anyone from the NPA. If I call Noda or Hirano, they would rush down to Sakura TV immediately. We don't know if this person with the Death Note has the Shinigami eyes. But I can't just not call anyone.
There was someone. Aizawa straightened as he found the name in his list of contacts. His friend Miyahira got a job working for Sakura TV a few months ago. Miyahira didn't plan to stay there, but the last time they had spoken, he was still working there. "Ide, do you have Miyahira's phone number?"
"Rokuro?" Ide sifted through his own contacts, and Aizawa caught the exact moment he figured out what Aizawa was getting at. "I'll call him"
"Good. If he doesn't answer for you, I'll try to call him," Aizawa said. "I'm going to call Mogi first. He's back at headquarters, so he might have some more insight on the situation." He stepped into the other room where he could find a moment of quiet. The absence of that garbled audio drilling in his head gave him time to dial the number, even if he wasn't sure yet what he was going to say. "Come on… Come on, pick up…"
Mogi didn't answer. Shit! He couldn't allow himself to entertain thoughts of the worst-case scenario. Mogi was fine. He must be busy with phone calls the public would be flooding him with. Aizawa hurried back to the main room, and it didn't take him long to be met with a frustrated shake of the head from Ide.
Can someone please pick up their phone?! Aizawa punched Miyahira's number into his phone. The Death Note didn't have the power to interfere with technology, and unless this fake Kira had done enough research to find the names of every single person who worked at Sakura TV, this couldn't be their doing. Not directly, at least. If Miyahira got enough calls, he would see how urgent it was and take the call while working. And if nothing else, he would be more likely to call back and give them more insight once he was able.
The sound he got almost immediately told him Miyahira's phone was turned off. It wasn't being ignored. Aizawa's stomach dropped. That wasn't normal. Miyahira never had his phone fully turned off.
"It's hopeless…" Matsuda muttered. He closed the computer with more force than necessary in a combination of anxiety and powerlessness, the loud sound breaking through Aizawa's thoughts. "Every single number I've tried in the entire station's busy."
"Damnit!" He heard footsteps running towards the door. Aizawa's eyes darted towards the doorway, just in time to see Ukita disappearing through it. "Then I'm going over there to make them stop it myself!" Ryuk's head twisted almost all the way around, the deep red glow of his eyes becoming even more intense as he trained them on Ukita.
Panic shot through Aizawa's heart. "Ukita!" He didn't know when his feet started moving underneath him, but he was the next out the door. Ukita was fast, but adrenaline made Aizawa faster, closing the gap just as Ukita gave up on the elevator and started going down the stairs. "Ukita, you can't go down there!"
"Why not?" Ukita asked. "If no one at Sakura TV is going to listen, I'll stop this broadcast myself if that's what it takes." He turned around to leave, but Aizawa's hand shot out and grabbed onto his wrist, effectively trapping him and demanding his undivided attention.
"This isn't Kira." The words fell from Aizawa's mouth before he could catch himself. The consequences were the furthest thing from his mind. "We don't know what this person is capable of or if their power is even the same as Kira's. You can't go in unprepared."
Ukita gritted his teeth, struggling to pull his wrist from Aizawa's grip, but he wasn't letting go. His nails dug into the fabric of Ukita's sleeve, and that was when his words finally registered in Ukita's mind. His muscles tensed under Aizawa's grip, and when he looked up, something was different in his eyes. Cautious. "And how the hell would you know that?"
"It's a hunch." That wasn't enough. He had to think of something to say. "Nothing about this lines up with the Kira we've been profiling for months. If one person has that power, someone much worse could have it as well. If you go down there, you could be killed." He tugged on Ukita's wrist, bringing him away from the stairs. "Please, Ukita, think about this."
Whatever Ukita had been thinking that put him on edge seemed to disappear from his mind. Aizawa could feel Ukita ease into a more comfortable demeanor, chuckling to himself. "Right. You're more experienced than me… It makes sense you would notice that."
Aizawa smiled. "You've still got time. You'll get more experience, and you'll see it too," he took a step backwards, and then another, guiding Ukita away from the stairs. His grip loosened on Ukita's wrist. Good, I can stop him from—
Ukita wrenched his hand free from Aizawa's grasp—that split second Aizawa's grip weakened was what he was waiting for. Aizawa didn't even realize what was happening until he heard Ukita's apologetic shout echoing up the stairs. "Kira or not, I'm not letting innocent people die if this broadcast continues!"
"Ukita, wait!" But he knew even if he gave chase, he wouldn't be able to reach him in time. He could see down the stairwell, Ukita was sliding down the rails to make sure he wouldn't. No! Aizawa's hand ran over his throat, finding an erratic pulse and frantic breathing. What do I do? What do I do?!
I could kill Director Demegawa. Aizawa's eyes widened as he remembered that name. It wouldn't be hard to find his first name. He has to be the one broadcasting this. If I write his name in the Death Note and order him to stop the broadcast, that could work—No, what am I thinking? He's a scumbag, but if there's even a chance he is being held hostage by this fake, he doesn't deserve to die. If he's not being held hostage and is doing this for ratings, stopping the broadcast may be so out of character that not even the Death Note could make him do it.
Mogi! He had to call Mogi again. Maybe he missed the call the first time on accident. Aizawa pulled out his phone, his heart racing so much his head was spinning, but that didn't matter to him as the other end of the line picked up. "Mogi? Mogi, where are you?! Have you seen the broadcast?"
"I have." Mogi said. There was an unspoken question there, almost asking how he wouldn't have. "Officers here are arranging teams to stop the broadcast, and I'm going with them."
"Don't you dare!" Aizawa closed the door between the stairs and the hall to prevent himself from being overheard. He leaned back against the wall. "Listen to me. If you or anyone else goes down there, it will be a bloodbath. I may not be your superior—I can't give you orders, but if you've ever trusted my judgement, do not go down there. Stop as many people from going down there as you can." He ran his hand through his hair, his eyes wandering up to the flickering ceiling light. "Ukita… If anyone is going down there, they need to stop Ukita."
Mogi paused on the other end. "…Okay. I'll see if I can stop people from going. Is that what Ryuzaki wants?"
"I don't know and I don't care," Aizawa said. "I have been in this field for too long to ignore my intuition, and my intuition says if you go down there, you are going to die. Please, Mogi…"
"Okay."
"Thank you…" Deep breath. Deep breath. "I'll see you after all this is over." He hung up the call, anxiety building in his chest until he wasn't sure he could speak. What do I do? He never imagined anything like this could happen. He asked Ryuk so many times if this was a possibility, and he said he doubted it. Shinigami were never interested in that kind of thing. If this was anything else… I'm supposed to be calm in these situations. I have to calm down.
But if this person has the eyes, Ukita is going to die. Aizawa raced down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. He remembered where Ukita parked that morning, closest to the door but furthest from the street. Damnit, Ryuk, just tell me if there's a wing deal! Whatever the price, I'll pay it! That was the only way he could get there in time.
He already knew what he was going to find slipping out of the emergency exit into the parking lot. Ukita's car was gone, and he couldn't see any sign of which direction he had gone. "Damnit! Please, god, no…" Would he make it if he jumped in his own car? Could he stop this?
No… He couldn't stop this. All he could do was take the elevator back upstairs. He could hear the broadcast on every television and echoing through the halls, unable to escape it no matter how hard he tried. Aizawa pressed his hands over his ears until he made it back to the main room, where he could hear more of that awful video too clear to ignore, as well as the overlapping sounds of the NHN News on one of the televisions Watari must have brought in.
"If you do not try to capture me, no innocent people will die. And even if you do not agree with me, if you refrain from publicizing your views in the media or in public, you will be spared. And then, simply wait. In a short time, the world will be changed for the better. I'm sure you will all agree. I can do it. I can change the world and make it a place inhabited only by good, kindhearted people."
"Holy shit…" Aizawa wasn't sure if he said it aloud or in his head. "Holy shit, this person is evil."
He must have made some kind of noise, as he got the attention of both Matsuda and Ide. Ide gasped softly when he realized Ukita wasn't with Aizawa, and he turned around back to the NHN broadcast discussing everything going on. Aizawa knew exactly what he was looking for, and it seemed Ryuk knew it too from the way he leaned his whole body closer to that television.
In the haze of chaos all around them, Aizawa's vision finally settled on L. The detective's attention hadn't moved away from the television, and he had bitten down on his thumb so hard he broke the skin and drew blood. What are you thinking right now…?
"This whole thing feels like a parody of Kira," Ide said. His arms were crossed in disapproval, and he turned away from the video broadcast. He didn't want to look at it any more than Aizawa did. "Made by someone who doesn't grasp what Kira is doing beyond committing murder to change certain aspects of society."
"Yeah…" Matsuda rubbed the back of his neck, stealing a quick glance at the video screen, though to Aizawa he was staring at Ryuk's back. "I'll never excuse murder, but Kira clearly has a goal, and we still haven't proved Kira would hurt anyone working against him. This video seems to be throwing all of that away."
If L said anything in response, Aizawa didn't hear him, because on the edge of his vision, he saw the NHN screen come to life with live footage. Ryuk's head snapped to the side, his grin growing wider, displaying his sharp, too-long teeth. Hunger gleamed in his eyes, but it wasn't for sustenance. Aizawa didn't want to know if the Shinigami was curious about the outcome or had known that answer all along as Ukita—
"Just imagine it. A world protected by the police and myself. A world with no place for evil."
—Ukita's body fell to the ground. Nothing more than his body. The laughter ringing in Aizawa's ears, either from the Shinigami or conjured by his own mind to fill in the silence, told him well enough that Ukita was gone long before gravity took hold.
Everything could have gone silent, or maybe someone had screamed. Maybe he was the one who screamed. Or maybe he just wished he was, because then he could lie to himself that he hadn't known this would happen.
"This just in! Someone has collapsed in front of Sakura TV!" The terrified shout of an NHN reporter was drowned out almost completely. The world narrowed down to a single point—the body, the body that had once been a person, laying dead on the screen. "We are reporting live from in front of Sakura TV. For safety reasons, I cannot stand in front of the cameras, but what you are seeing here is live coverage!"
"…Ukita…"
He heard that soft, horrified whisper, and that alone sharpened all of Aizawa's senses on something else. Focusing not on his own thoughts, but on Ide, stood in front of the television screen, pale eyes reflecting everything playing out in front of him, etching the haunting visage into his mind.
He didn't move. He didn't look to Aizawa or Ryuk or anyone else to ask them if that just happened, or even what had happened. There was no need to, not really. What other reason would Ukita have to collapse than for him to be dead? What other explanation was there than the one they had seen confirmed right before their very eyes…?
Whoever this person was acting under the guise of Kira, they had the Shinigami eyes. All of their worst fears were confirmed in an instant. And now… And now Ukita…
"That bastard will pay for this." Aizawa spun around and stormed out toward the door. Fine then, fucker. If that's how you want to play, I'll go down to that station and get those tapes myself. I already know your tactics. Try and kill me!
He didn't make it halfway across the room before L called out to him. "Aizawa-San." There was a slight hesitance in his voice. In any other situation, Aizawa may have thought to question why. "Where are you going?"
"Where do you think?" Aizawa asked. "I'm going to get those damn videos and bring them back here."
He heard L shifting in his seat behind him. "You can't." Aizawa hesitated, his hand barely centimeters from the doorknob. Why did L sound so frantic? "If you go over there now, you'll only get killed."
He was right. Aizawa knew he was right. Everything the investigation knew about Kira's powers had been thrown on its head. All they knew now was that Kira's killing power was much stronger than anyone had prepared for.
He couldn't tell anymore if he had gone insane or if his fury had shifted into a warped kind of calm, allowing him to turn around and face the detective. "And what do you suggest I do? Sit here and watch television while a massacre goes on?" He gestured to the paramedics carrying Ukita's body away on the screen. "How do we know those paramedics aren't the next to die?!"
"I'm trying to tell you to calm down and be realistic." L said. "I want to stop that video as much as you do. And if we manage to confiscate the entire package, the way it was sent, there's a good chance we can track Kira down. But if Ukita was murdered by Kira or by someone with Kira's powers, whoever goes there now will end up dead too."
"And so what if I do?!" This is my fault. I have to set it right! "Ukita's phony police ID didn't help him. Either that bastard knows our real names, or they never needed them in the first place. There's no other explanation."
Ide forced himself to turn away from the television. "If they knew our real names, it would make much more sense for Kira to murder everyone on the task force," he said. He stood up to his full height, keeping his arms crossed and gesturing behind him at the commotion. "But looking at everything that's happened, what if looking at this from the angle of it even being Kira is flawed? We've all agreed this is weird. What if this isn't Kira at all? That would explain why Kira needs a name, but the person acting here doesn't seem to."
"Wait, so this whole thing seeming like a parody was real?" Matsuda asked. "We weren't wrong about Kira. This isn't Kira at all." His face had drained of any color, the rosy hue of his cheeks and lips disappearing entirely. It was then that Aizawa found the thing he had been looking for—the subtle twitch of Matsuda's hand, going to where a gun would be inside his jacket. Like one wrong move, and he would take drastic action in the name of getting those tapes.
L's voice cut through Aizawa's train of thought. "…I came to that conclusion once the broadcast started." Everyone turned in shock, and found L's hunch had worsened, curling further into himself. Even so, he remained as steady in his reasoning as ever. "Kira has done nothing to so much as make me suspect this was a possibility. He didn't kill Lind L. Tailor, the FBI Director still fell under his MO, and the rest of the agents were left alone. You're right, Ide-San. Acting based on what we know of Kira will only get people killed. We don't even know if the person responsible for this is with Kira or against him." He turned his head to look over at the NHN screen, with the sound of sirens growing louder and louder. "All I can say for sure at this time is… Ukita-San was killed because he went over there. It happened just before the other networks started reporting from in front of Sakura TV. And that means they are either inside Sakura, or some place where they can see people entering Sakura. That, or they set up a surveillance camera there in advance."
"Can we please come up with a new name for Not-Kira?" Matsuda asked, waving his hand a little to get their attention. "This is kind of getting confusing."
"Not now, Matsuda!" Ide snapped.
"If Not-Kira's in the area, that's all the more reason for us to go!" Aizawa insisted, raising his voice almost into a shout. "And if they're not, they couldn't afford that many cameras. Sakura TV has an emergency exit—all buildings do. If we go in from the back and cover our faces to hide from any cameras, then the only people we would need to worry about are the ones inside. That automatically and drastically narrows down the suspect list."
"I'll say it again. If you go there now, you will be killed." L said. Firmer this time, leaving no room for any argument. "Even if you're right, that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Please understand."
Aizawa gritted his teeth. "No, I don't understand." He was lying. He knew he was lying, and it probably sounded as much to everyone around him. He didn't know at what point he had approached the detective, and that didn't matter as he grabbed ahold of L's shoulder. L didn't so much as look at him. "You might not be willing to take that risk, but I am. I thought we were risking our lives to catch Kira! Why would this be any different?!"
"Risking my life and doing something that I know will cost me my life are two entirely different things."
"Oh yeah?!" He was about to give L a piece of his mind. What were they doing waiting around when they could do something—he could do something? Because he could do something, right?
But then he caught sight of L's hands, gripping onto his legs… shaking. That soft tremor in L's voice. All of it was familiar.
Suddenly, Aizawa realized what he was doing, and he pulled back his hand. That… That was… He looked down at his own hand. What did I just do? Why did I do that? "Ryuzaki, I… I'm sorry…"
"None of us are in the best place right now," L said. "I understand your feelings, but please try to control yourself. Ukita-San is dead," his voice broke, bringing him down to barely above a whisper. "If you go down there and something was to happen to you as well…"
All of Aizawa's anger was gone. He couldn't be sure why, and he wasn't sure he cared, keeping his hand away from L and crossing his arms in an attempt to distract from the phantom sensation of his mistake. "I understand." He looked away, down towards the carpet. "I… already told Mogi to stop as many people as possible from going."
"I'm glad you managed to get ahold of him." L was still shaking, and Aizawa could tell it wasn't in response to his own actions this time. The tremor in his voice was only there when it came to any of them being in danger. Aizawa acted without thinking, grabbing a lightweight blanket off the couch and draping it over L's shoulders. "Thank you." He started running his hand over the soft fabric, over and over again, a motion that seemed to soothe him.
Aizawa had vowed he would never kill L, but he could be certain this imposter had other plans. This bastard was destroying everything he worked for, and they would want L dead. I won't let that happen. We have to stop the person with the Death Note before they can kill L, and we have to stop the broadcast.
"Yeah, but what do we do now?" Matsuda asked. "If going to Sakura TV is too great of a risk, how are we supposed to stop the broadcast?" Aizawa turned. He almost thought Matsuda had somehow read his thoughts, before realizing he was asking in a general sense.
Ryuk shrugged his shoulders in a somewhat exaggerated manner. "Well, this stranger must have the eyes," he said. "They might be stronger than you are, Shuichi, but not by much. It's pretty easy to get around if you know what you're doing."
And if he was able to get down there, that would be the best course of action, but L was right, that could be too great a risk. If not one now, it could become one down the line. This person has the eyes, but only Ide and I know that… How can I extend my knowledge of the Death Note to the others without damning myself?
He hated he had to think about that, but if he came out and outright said he was Kira, and told them how to stop the fake, he would run into the problem of if they would even believe him. L could easily and rightfully assume the worst, that he was trying to trick them. No good would come of it.
"Are the police ready to work with me in creating a just world?" Aizawa almost jumped as the video reminded him it was still playing. "Their answer to this question will be announced in four days' time, on April 22nd, at the top of the six o'clock nightly news. Starting at 6:10pm on April 22nd, Sakura TV will air one of two videos—one if the police say 'yes' to my proposal, and the other if the police say 'no.' If it is an official police announcement, no spokesperson has to appear on screen."
"We can make an announcement telling this imposter to shove it whenever we damn well please." Ide muttered. "Why make demands on when we make an announcement?" His frown deepened into more of a grimace. "Kira goes after people abusing their positions, but this person seems to be trying to frame Kira as someone who does exactly that."
"Yeah," Aizawa stepped closer to the video playing. "Whoever this is, either they're against Kira, or they somehow think forcing the issue of the police would be what Kira wanted." He only brought that option up as a hypothetical. He didn't care what rationale this fake had for what they did. They were destroying everything. He had been passive for a reason, and it was to avoid a scenario exactly like this. Regardless of their reasons, they were a problem and had killed innocent people. For that, they had to be put down.
The NHN broadcast was still playing, but it had long since faded into a steady hum of white noise. "It is eerily quiet now in front of Sakura TV."
"While I agree that all of this is unusual, that investigation will have to wait," L said. "As useful as it could be to potentially have another with Kira's power we can get information from, we first need to figure out how to stop the broadcast without anyone seeing your face—"
L was interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of shattering glass. Matsuda jumped, ducking his head and covering his ears in a motion so quick Aizawa would have missed it if he wasn't looking right at him. He straightened as soon as he processed the sound had been nowhere around him, looking as Aizawa did towards the television, doing what he could not to look at where Ryuk had fallen off of L's seat and onto his back on the floor.
"An armored van has driven through the front doors of Sakura TV! It appears to be a police vehicle! The armored van belongs to the police!"
L blinked slowly. "Well… That's certainly one way of entering without anyone seeing your face." He bit down on his other thumb. "But if Not-Kira got Ukita-San, there's a good chance he's inside. If he's anywhere inside the lobby, this could be really risky…"
"But who the hell is it?" Matsuda asked, looking around at everyone for answers. "Someone on our side?"
"Well, it is a police vehicle." Aizawa said. That didn't answer the question nearly as much as he would have liked. Who would be crazy enough to do something like that?
OoOoO
"Hey! Step out of the vehicle!"
Really? A murderer is trying to force the world into compliance through a broadcast and you're more frustrated with me? Soichiro grabbed the white blanket he had taken from the hospital off the passenger seat, wrapping it around himself and covering most of his face like a cloak. He couldn't afford to just use his jacket. They had tested Kira's limits with seeing someone's face, but if whoever was masquerading as Kira didn't need a name, he had no idea of this person's full abilities.
This wasn't Kira. Soichiro could say that for certain. He would be more inclined to believe they had simply been wrong, but if Kira was going to slip and reveal his true colors as someone capable of this, he would have long before now. He didn't know who this was or what they wanted, but he had only one thing in mind: he had to stop the broadcast, no matter what. Before anyone else got hurt.
He stepped out of the vehicle. Any indignation from the security guard had disappeared instantly. Whether he recognized him as someone from the police or only as someone who should not be messed with, Soichiro didn't know or frankly care. "Where's the studio airing the Kira video?"
The guard took a step back, pointing off to the right. "Uh… The second floor. Studio G-6."
Soichiro wasted no time and hurried in the direction the guard had pointed without another word. He may have normally given some type of response, but all he could think about was the task at hand, and the effort of every step that had him panting.
Studio G-6. He pulled off the blanket, draping it over his shoulder. Ukita had been killed at the front doors. He should be safe past the lobby. Checking the large numbers and letters on each of the doors… Studio G-6 should be just up ahead.
He threw open the doors the moment he found them. "Police! Stop this broadcast immediately!" The two people at the computers both looked up at him in terror, but the man in the varsity jacket he quickly identified as the Director had the audacity to look annoyed by his presence. None of them moved. "I said, stop the Kira video now!"
The Director finally uncrossed his arms and took the step to approach him. "Just… wait a minute, Detective," he said. "If we stop this video, we'll all be killed."
"I don't want to hear your excuses!" Soichiro snapped. "An innocent man is dead!" One of the men at the computers said something, but Soichiro could hear them. His focused remained trained on the Director, and getting a closer look at him, he recognized his face, and everything clicked into place. "So it's you, is it…? You're that Demegawa who's been playing up the Kira case for all it's worth, putting out all those specials in spite of all the warnings we issued? You think this whole thing's very funny, do you?!" He remembered now. Was that all Ukita's life was worth to this man? Just some cheap ratings?! He was willing to bet anything even without a threat, these tapes would be aired. Any threats made were just a convenient excuse.
Demegawa held his hands up, and Soichiro could see the sudden sheen of sweat pouring off him. "I… I had no idea it would turn into something like this, I swear. Go easy on me, sir…" he laughed awkwardly, but it was not a nervous response—there was a difference. This was forced, and somehow that made Soichiro even angrier.
"That Director they said Kira addressed the package to. That was you too, wasn't it?"
"…Yes. It was."
Soichiro stepped closer, stopping Demegawa from backing away. "Give me those tapes. Give me the whole package, exactly as you received it!"
"But… Like I said…" Demegawa stammered, looking Soichiro up and down for something. A sign of weakness? A way to get out of this? "If I do that, we'll all be killed."
Fine, then. Soichiro reached into the concealed pocket of his jacket, pulling out the gun hidden inside and holding it directly to Demegawa's chest. He didn't dare put his finger on the trigger, but he didn't have to. Just having it to the side of the trigger was more than enough to get his point across. "Hand it over! You do that, at least you won't be killed this very minute!"
Demegawa balked at the sudden presence of a weapon, like the gravity of the situation had only just then hit him. "What the… heck do you think you're doing?!" he asked, looking up at Soichiro with wide, panicked eyes. "Hey! Are you crazy?!"
"This is the direct result of you putting out all those shows and treating Kira like some kind of star," Soichiro said. "I'd say you're reaping what you sowed. If, after watching all the tapes, I decide it's okay to air them, I'll return them to you." He pressed the gun closer to Demegawa's chest. Inched his finger just the slightest bit closer to the trigger, not enough to be any real danger but enough that it got the desired result.
Demegawa launched back, almost tripping over one of the chairs and pressing himself against the table as far away from Soichiro as he could manage. "All… right, all right…" He shuffled through one of the nearby drawers, and Soichiro lowered the gun, but he didn't put it away. He couldn't risk anyone getting bold and trying to jump or disarm him. He waited patiently for Demegawa to check an envelope, nod at its contents, and put all of it on the desk for him to see. "That's the envelope they arrived in, the two pages of text, and the four digital videos. That's all we got."
Soichiro examined the tapes. He would have preferred being able to inspect them more closely, but he didn't get the chance to bring gloves. "These do look like they're the master tapes, but…" Something was off about this. A weapon could have made Demegawa more likely to comply, but would someone who ignored so many warnings make it this easy? No. He looked up from the tapes and directly at Demegawa. "Are you trying to tell me you aired the original…?"
Demegawa broke into a cold sweat. I knew it.
He didn't hesitate to raise the gun again. "Hand over the copies you made! Every single one of them! And don't try to play dumb with me!"
Demegawa screamed, the chair clattering over behind him. He scurried towards a large duffel bag hidden under the furthest desk at the corner of the room. "Okay, okay… I'll get them… I'm getting them out, all right?! Just do me a favor and stop waving that gun around. Your eyes are totally insane!"
Insane, huh…? It wasn't the first time he heard that. L had said something similar. There was something hidden behind his eyes. Something that should it be unleashed had the potential to be dangerous. Soichiro hadn't denied it then. He knew it was true. He couldn't have done half the things he did this evening alone if he wasn't.
He wasn't proud of that side of himself. He tried to hide it whenever he could. But if using that madness was the only way to protect the world and his family who wanted to jump in, then so be it.
OoOoO
"The police have made no statement regarding this incident as of yet." The news broadcaster suddenly stopped, as a Metropolitan police vehicle pulled up beside where Ukita's had been. "What's this? A police car has finally arrived on the scene. It's just a single patrol car, but finally, the police are on the scene!"
Matsuda dared to crack a small, if not nervous, smile. "We aren't alone in this… there are other cops who're ready to stand up and fight." But not even he could keep any sense of optimism, sucking in a breath as he waited for the inevitable.
"Yes, so it seems," L said. "When you think about it, the people who were in the task force were just one small section of the Japanese police…"
"But just one patrol car in a situation like this…?"
"That may be a good thing for us, but we can't let this continue." Ide said. "If officers keep going in unprepared, I don't want to think about what will happen."
L sighed softly. "That's what I'm worried about…" He craned his neck to look over at Aizawa. "Aizawa-San, you know Deputy Director-General Kitamura's cell phone number, don't you?"
"Uh, yeah?" What are you planning?
"Call him. If he picks up, please hand the phone over to me."
Aizawa quickly dialed the number. Kitamura didn't like anyone calling his personal phone instead of his work phone, but that was the best way to guarantee he answered. He put the call on speaker to make sure he could hear everything.
Exactly as he predicted, Kitamura answered almost immediately, and he was less than pleased. "Kitamura here… Aizawa, I told you not to call me on this phone."
L picked up the phone, holding it between his fingertips. "This is L. I have a request. There will be more officers driven to act on their own after seeing this broadcast. Unless strictly coordinated action is taken, we'll have a major tragedy on our hands."
The officers in the patrol car finally stepped out of the vehicle. Aizawa bit down on the inside of his cheek. God, no… He looked down at his watch, then back up at the screen, tuning out any protests Kitamura may have. 27…28…29…
Matsuda seemed to take note of his nervousness, peeking over Aizawa's shoulder to look down at the watch. "Aizawa, what are you doing?"
"I want to see if there's any time discrepancy between them getting out of the vehicle and being killed," Aizawa said. He grabbed a piece of paper off the desk to write down the results. "We can't tell anything about Kira, but the more information we have on whoever this is, the better."
Ryuk chuckled, leaning far enough that he was hanging upside down on the back of the seat. "So you're willing to give them that now, are you? You should be careful handing out information like that."
It doesn't matter. If that information can somehow be used to save someone's life, I'll gladly hand it over.
He didn't need to wait long before getting an answer. "Oh no! The two officers who stepped out of the police car have collapsed! I… We are moving to a safer location. We will be leaving the camera here on the scene, and will continue our report from further away."
"49 seconds." Those extra seconds must have been used to see and write the names.
Kitamura heaved a sigh on the other end. "All right, L. You tell me how to coordinate this."
And so L did. He explained everything with a clear head and perfect enunciation to leave no room for questions or incorrect interpretations. Aizawa wanted to say something, but he couldn't, enraptured by L's every command and the plan that had pieced itself together with no room for error. He heard L make the order for Matsuda to call Mogi and inform him of the plan, but Aizawa remained transfixed on everything L was saying.
It was… incredible. And unimaginably painful. Should the day come that L truly turned his attention to the task force, it would be over for him. But even that was merely an afterthought. The thing that caused the ever-present emptiness in his chest to rip further open was the objective truth of the matter.
Ukita was dead, and Aizawa couldn't stop it. L was able to step in like it was second nature, and if he had known everything Aizawa did… would Ukita still be alive? Would those innocent officers still be alive?
Damnit… he couldn't let this imposter get away with this. He had to do something, to stop that bastard and put them down before they could cause any more harm. He had to make up for everything this murderer had done in his name.
But he couldn't think any further on that as the phone rang behind him.
OoOoO
Soichiro shot another wary look at Demegawa, making sure there were no more tricks he had to worry about, as Watari finally answered the phone. "This is Asahi! Get me Ryuzaki!"
There was some shuffling on the other end, mutterings he couldn't quite make out, but it seemed the phone had been passed to L. "Yagami-San, it's me. So it was you in that armored van."
"That's right… I just couldn't take it anymore. But I've seized the tapes. All of them." He maintained eye contact with Demegawa as he said that. No signs of more tricks. He should be safe to leave. "I'm bringing them over. Where are you now?"
"But what about your condition?" L asked. "Are you all right?"
"I'm feeling just fine. To be honest with you, I don't think I've ever felt more alive." He could feel his adrenaline waning, but his head was clear. Everything was in sharper focus than it had been in a long time. He shot one last look at Demegawa before turning to leave and step into the hallway, only then putting the gun away to keep a better hold on the bag with the tapes. "A bigger concern is, how do I get out of here? I assume the front of the building is dangerous, but maybe I'll be all right in that van?" He looked down at the blanket across his shoulder. "I have a blanket to hide myself if necessary, but if we don't know this fake's capabilities…"
"So you figured that out too... Hold on for a moment." It became harder to hear what was happening, but Soichiro could still make out what was being said. "Deputy Director-General, the one in the armored van was Yagami-San."
"Yagami?" Kitamura asked. "I thought he was hospitalized."
Kitamura? Why is he... Aizawa must have called him, and he's on speaker? If that's the case, I'm probably on speaker as well. "I was. I escaped."
In any other situation, he may have laughed at Kitamura's exasperated groan. "Of course you did…" he suddenly became serious, focusing back on the matter at hand. "Yagami, we'll be there in five minutes."
L hummed his agreement. "Yagami-San, rest there for five minutes and then head out the front."
Just walk straight out of the front entrance…? L must have some kind of plan to suggest a move like that. "Okay." He hung up, and his knees became weak underneath him, leaving him leaning back against the wall.
I can't afford to stop. I have to keep moving… He looked off to the right from where he came. Down the hall, down the stairs, and then down another hall. His legs felt like lead under him, and he had to grit his teeth to pry himself from the wall. He would most likely take five minutes just to walk there, and even if he had to rest for a while longer, he didn't want to be vulnerable so close to where someone could try to take the tapes back from him.
A sickly greenish hue had enveloped the upper floor of Sakura TV, movements in the shadows keeping him on edge as he looked in every direction for any unseen attacker. What was he looking for? Did he honestly expect Demegawa to attack him for these tapes, or… He looked behind him again. If the person pretending to be Kira was here, I would already be dead.
That didn't stop the feeling of eyes pressing into him, or that the shadows were moving in ways they shouldn't be. Like something was moving around him, watching him. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Or had the unusual nature of this case opened the door to something unimaginable?
Don't think about that. He ran his hand along the wall as he reached the bottom of the stairs. The greenish hue of the hallways had changed by a bright white at the far end, impossible to see anything past. What? He dug into his pocket for the watch he didn't have time to put back on. Five minutes. "All right. Let's see what you have waiting for me, Ryuzaki."
A few more steps. A few more, and he could hear the broken glass under his feet. When he looked up… I was right. There really is some good left in this world.
Dozens, maybe over a hundred officers, surrounded the area from every direction, donned in riot gear and holding up shields, filling in the gaps with police busses and black sheets.
And in the center of it all was Mogi, standing beside his car. Soichiro's heart lurched in his chest on instinct, but Mogi remained fine. An assurance and a confirmation that all of this was L's plan, and it had worked. He was safe now.
"All right, stay close together!" An announcer shouted from somewhere out of sight. "Do not open the smallest gap! Do not show yourselves! Kira is not inside the building! If he's here, he's outside!"
Everything was going to be all right.
Mogi urged Soichiro to step out, and he realized he had been staring, still hidden in the shadows. He stepped out into the light, and even if the brightness burned his eyes, he didn't flinch. He didn't waver in his faith in L and in his officers. He rested a hand on Mogi's shoulder. "Thank you…" Mogi just nodded, opening the door for Soichiro to take a seat on the passenger's side.
He could hear the announcer through the closed door. "There's a good chance Kira is hiding where he can see us. So just make sure you don't show yourselves while searching the place. Now, let's go! All roads to the west and south of here have been closed off! We need a few more people on the north side. Send around the volunteers from other precincts to the north side!"
Mogi got inside the car and drove through a covered pathway to reach the roads that had been closed off for them. Soichiro stared out the window, seeing all the people who came together to help him. Did the announcer say volunteers were taking part? He looked over at Mogi, and he realized the car had been overtaken by silence. "I'm sorry if I'm being quiet," he said. "I need some time alone with my thoughts, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind." Mogi said. "Take all the time you need."
Soichiro sighed, resting his head against the window and closing his eyes. He could still hear the announcer on the news broadcast over the city.
"The police seem to be on their highest alert. The entire area around Sakura TV has been sealed off, except for a few checkpoints! The police are clearly planning to fight Kira! Their answer is a resounding no! The police are obviously rejecting Kira's offer to work together! They're going after him! I… Well, let me screw up some courage and say this… they're doing the right thing! This is the right answer! This is how a country under the rule of law ought to respond! My name is Koki Tanakabara. I am Koki Tanakabara, announcer on NHN TV's Golden News!"
Light… You must be seeing this all of this, aren't you? Tonight had shown everything Soichiro wanted to believe, despite the clutter in his head making him question if what he was doing ever had a point. There was a reason to be doing this. There was good in the world. And one day, his son would blossom into that world as a detective.
But…
Soichiro looked down at his hand. He could still feel the gun there even after long since putting it away. He knew what was hidden behind his eyes, and no matter how much he may want to deny it… Light had his eyes. He knew he did. How could he deny that after getting irrefutable proof of it time and time again? I'm sorry, Light… You really are your father's son…
He should be proud. He wanted to be proud, and maybe he was. But knowing the life he had cursed his son with just by being his father overwhelmed him with terror. He hadn't been able to save Ukita from the impulse that got him killed. What if one day that man dead on the ground was his own son who took too much after him?
He wasn't sure he would be able to handle it.
OoOoO
L almost leaped from his seat when he heard the door open behind him, seeing Mogi helping Soichiro walk inside, much to the shock and worry of the other members of the task force. Soichiro forced a wan smile for them, which fell the moment he was close enough to pass L a bag he was carrying.
"I'm sorry about taking things into my own hands like that, Ryuzaki…" Soichiro said. "I let my emotions get the better of me…"
"That's fine." How could he be upset about such a thing? Soichiro's methods may have been unorthodox, but he got results. He cocked his head as he looked down at the bag.
"The videotapes, the envelope they came in… it's all in here." Soichiro leaned heavily on the coffee table, and Matsuda was by his side to help him over onto the free couch. "Let me lie down for a while…"
"Are you all right, Chief…? Maybe you ought to get back to the hospital…" Matsuda's phone started ringing, and while L may have normally been annoyed, he knew who would be calling. "Yes… yes… Mr. Yagami is here with us. He's resting right now, but he's all right. Yes, he's fine." He eventually hung up the call, looking awkwardly over at Soichiro. "Uh… Sachiko wants me to tell you that if Kira doesn't kill you, she will."
Soichiro smiled sleepily. "Okay."
Thank you, Yagami-San… What you did will not be in vain. L dug into the bag, pulling out the envelope Soichiro had mentioned. An Osaka postmark… Did this fake Kira go to Osaka for this postmark, or… He looked over at his computer.
What was the limit of Kira's powers? L had never been able to confirm anything for certain, but with the way the killings ran like clockwork at regular increments of the day, he always suspected Kira controlled time. Did it go beyond that? There had been some unusual behavior from some of Kira's victims, but it was infrequent and often revolved around a sudden sense of impending doom, just as prevalent in those who had not yet been targeted by Kira as in those who had.
But this isn't Kira. We can't confirm that Kira can control people's actions before they die, but that says nothing about the abilities of this fake. Kira operates differently, so even if he has this power, there is nothing concrete to say he used it. He typed his notes into his computer to be safe. If this fake Kira can control people's actions before they die, they could've sent this without going to Osaka themselves. It's worth investigating in either case. He also made a mental note they needed a new name for this fake. They were so unlike Kira that even saying this was a Second Kira felt like an insult.
He took the copies of the tapes out of the bag, holding it up for Aizawa to take. "Aizawa-San. Could you take this over to forensics?"
"Sure. I know a lot of people there. I'm sure they'll do a great job." Aizawa looked over the envelope, and L could see he recognized the Osaka postmark immediately. "Fingerprints for sure, if there are any, and if the stamps have been licked, they'll get DNA from there… They'll find out where this envelope and the tapes were sold, and even what model of camera was used. They might even be able to get other information from the images…" He looked up, almost like he realized he was mostly talking to himself. "Of course, I'll make them study the tapes without sound, so they don't hear what's said."
"Great, thank you. While you're doing that, I'll watch these copies to find out what's on them." This could be a risk to their plan, but he wanted to bring Light here. What would he think about these tapes beyond them being mediocre?
L smiled to himself, thinking about the young man. He knew he would be able to solve this case alone, but he enjoyed Light's company and the conversation he provided. Having someone who he could truly consider his equal, both in mind and in will, was not an opportunity he would ever ignore. Even if it meant altering their ruse somewhat.
He looked back over his shoulder where Mogi and Matsuda remained sitting by Soichiro's side, and from their body language, there was some kind of disagreement going on. Mogi's hand was hovering nervously just over Soichiro's shoulder. "Here, Chief," he said. "I'll take you back to the hospital."
"No. No, you won't." Soichiro turned away, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "I'm not going back to the hospital. I've had enough of hospitals. I'll just stay here…" he craned his neck to look over his shoulder, his back to the rest of them. "Forgive me, Ryuzaki. I just need to rest for a moment."
"Yagami-San, it would be best if you returned to the hospital." He won't consent to going to a hospital again. I can't force him to go against his will. He does have the right to refuse treatment, and is competent enough to make that choice. However… L straightened as he got an idea. A way to solve two problems at once. "But if you are unwilling to go, I will not force you to. On a few conditions. You will be taken home where Watari will provide your family with anything necessary to care for you, and you will not return to work for at least three days," he said. "This fake Kira wants an answer from the police by the 22nd, so you will be able to return in time for a meeting to discuss the aftermath. Your children must have heard about what happened, and would like to know the details."
Soichiro nodded. "Okay…" L could see he was on the brink of falling asleep, and having Mogi carry him down the hotel lobby would draw too much attention. There would be too many questions, none of which he could afford to risk. He hadn't been worried before when it was only Kira, but now... He took a heavier-duty blanket from his bedroom, draping it over him and placing a pillow under Soichiro's head.
"Sleep well, Yagami-San. This won't be forgotten." He looked back over at the bag of tapes he left on the table. He would watch those tonight, and the next stage of their plan would have to begin soon.
OoOoO
It was strange coming down this stairwell again. He hadn't needed to in months, and never once had he done so with a Shinigami lurking over his shoulder. There was something… wrong about having a God of Death lingering in the forensics area, but Aizawa couldn't be bothered to tell Ryuk to wait. There was something far more important that he had to do. Get this bag to the forensics team and identify every shred of information they could glean from this.
Aizawa hesitated as he stepped past a familiar door, a chill going up his spine from the temperature on the other side. He looked towards the door, then down the hallway to where the rest of the team would be. I have to know… He passed the bag to Ide. "Hey… Can you take this to the others? I'm going to check on Arakawa."
Ide looked past him at the door, and quickly looked away. "Right…" he gestured for Ryuk to follow him, leaving Aizawa alone in front of the door. He raised his hand and forced himself to knock.
"Come in."
Aizawa peeked inside, and already he was met with a harrowing sight. All of Arakawa's supplies were out on the side table, more of the mortuary cabinets were filled, and at the edge of the room was Arakawa himself, professional as always, but there was a subtle redness to his eyes. Shadows under his eyes that became darker, staring ahead at the cabinets to prepare himself for the arduous task ahead, leaning back against the countertop beside the sink.
Aizawa's breath caught in his throat. He knew the truth, even without the Death Note he would know, but some small part of him wanted to deny it. "Are you…?" he hesitated. "Are they here?"
Arakawa nodded. His breath shook, and his glasses fogged up slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, they uh… They arrived a few minutes ago. I'm supposed to do an examination to confirm what we already know." He pulled himself from the counter, walking over to one of the cabinets. "I… haven't notified the families yet. I couldn't find any for Ukita, but you are his emergency contact…"
"Can I see him? Is that okay?"
Arakawa nodded, running his hand along the edge of the mortuary cabinet, keeping his voice gentle. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Ukita. Aizawa is here to see you." He slid open the cabinet, and Aizawa was met with the immediate sense of wrong as Ukita was pulled out for him to see.
Aizawa was no stranger to death. He had seen corpses before, more times than he wanted to remember, but this was… Maybe it was the curse of those with the Death Note, to know when it wasn't someone's time to die. He could feel it radiating from Ukita's body, the essence of the notebook that had unnaturally robbed him of his life.
Ukita was so young. He was barely twenty-six. Just a few hours ago, he was alive and talking about what he planned to do this weekend. He didn't wake up this morning knowing today would be his last day alive.
Aizawa pressed his hand over his mouth. "Ukita…"
Arakawa slid the cabinet closed. "I'll take care of him." His eyes wandered down towards the cold ground. "Do you know any family I can contact for him?"
"He doesn't—didn't take about his family that much," Aizawa said. "He mentioned a brother in Hokkaido a few months ago, but they didn't sound close. I'll… I'll see if I can find something for you." He crossed his arms. "Are you okay?"
"As okay as I could be." Arakawa said softly, looking over at his tools. "I never wanted to have my coworkers on my table—no one would. But this is my job. This is how I can make sure they get justice, so they can be put to rest." He glanced back at Aizawa. "You'll be the first to know if I find anything."
"Thank you." He stepped out of the office, and he wasn't surprised to find Ide waiting for him, leaning against the wall with two coffees in hand.
"Did you see him?"
Aizawa nodded, taking the coffee from Ide's hand. "We have so much work to do… You try to see if you can get surveillance footage from the nearby cross-streets, and I'll identify all the buildings surrounding Sakura TV and any footage they might have." He checked his phone, not surprised to find thirty-eight missed calls from Eriko. "Excuse me for a moment…"
Eriko responded within less than a second of him calling her back. "Shuichi?! What's going on? Where are you?"
"I'm fine. I'm with Ide investigating leads on what just happened." His grip tightened on his phone, his hands were shaking so much he feared one wrong move would make him drop it. "It's… going to be a long night, and a long few days."
He could practically see Eriko's expression, all of her features becoming flat, and her expression changing into a glower. "What happened?"
"Ukita didn't make it. Whoever just attacked… they murdered Ukita." His eyes widened in realization. "Yumi…! Did Yumi see the broadcast?"
"No. I told her Sakura TV is trashy, and I didn't want her watching it," Eriko said. "She went upstairs to play with Nozomu, probably to keep trying to get him to sit up by himself." She brushed that aside. "Did you say Ukita…?"
He didn't remember much of the call after that. He made sure to tell her what he could, and for the first time in their marriage, Eriko didn't fight him about coming home. She liked Ukita quite a bit the few times he had come over, so she wouldn't give him grief for this when they knew she would do the same.
That was one less thing to worry about, giving him the chance to return to his office with little fear of what he would find when he came home, making phone calls and mapping out the surrounding area of Sakura TV throughout the night and into the early hours of the morning.
Only once his body became too exhausted to continue did he concede to rest in the office, passed out on the floor next to Ide with the king-sized comforter they kept in an old box. Ide found the thing in the back of a cheap store years ago—it was absurdly large and impractical for one person, but acting as functionally a sleeping bag for two people, it worked fine.
But neither of them actually slept that night. The closest either could manage was to close their eyes and allow their bodies to rest, but their minds remained awake. Aizawa could tell he wasn't alone in that when he felt arms wrap around him from behind, and a hand pressing itself against his chest. Aizawa softened, unbuttoning his shirt and allowing Ide's hand to slide over the skin and muscle, right over his chest, to feel his heartbeat. The reminder he was still alive.
Ryuk continued watching them while perched on the couch. Aizawa kept his voice low to not disturb Ide. "Ryuk… you said before that humans are nothing but food to you. Does a human writing the name harvest lifespan for the Shinigami the notebook once belonged to? Are all the years Ukita had left being used as sustenance?"
"Nope. I haven't gotten any lifespan from the names you write." Ryuk said. "Don't see why it'd be different for someone else with the notebook. Those years didn't go to anything."
"I see…"
Aizawa didn't remember falling asleep, or even if he truly had, just that he was blearily awake by the time the sun shone in through the cracks in the blinds. He sat up, stretching and noticing Ide standing by the window, put together and wrapped in his coat.
"There's mist outside." Ide said. "Still too early for breakfast, but maybe Ryuzaki will have something…"
Aizawa sighed. Hideki… "How long have you been up?"
"Not long. I couldn't sleep, not really…" Ide looked over his shoulder. "We should meet up with Ryuzaki to see what's on those tapes. Can you drive?"
"Yeah, I can drive." He got up despite the protest of his lower back, folding up the comforter and shoving it back in its box, before smoothing down his clothes to look at least somewhat presentable. Not that anyone on the investigative team would care, but he would prefer to not make it obvious he slept on the floor. "Have there been any messages about the surveillance footage?"
Ide shook his head. "Nothing. I'm bringing the laptop with us so we can check any emails at the hotel." He grabbed his bag off the coatrack, holding it over his shoulder. "There's not much we can do until we see those tapes, but we can narrow down our search in the meantime."
"Right…" Before anything else, they had to see those tapes.
The early hour meant that most of the world remained asleep, and there was barely anyone on the road. Aizawa suspected that may be the case for a while after what happened last night. The public didn't know the situation, and if innocent people were in danger of being killed even for something as simple as speaking an opinion, there were some who would want to stay inside and avoid being seen at all costs.
Even the air felt different as he helped Ide out of the car. There wasn't anyone around, and he didn't expect there to be, but there was a palpable tension and the uneasy feeling that someone's eyes could be watching him from any direction. One wrong move, and anyone could be the next to die.
He took Ide by the hand, using the heavy mist to hide long enough to slip inside the hotel and take the elevator up to the top floor. Again, a floor only accessible with the keycard. The only place he could guarantee they would be safe.
When they made it to L's room, the main area wasn't much different from how it was when Aizawa left last night. Soichiro was fast asleep on the couch with a bandage on his head, and it seemed L hadn't wanted to move him when he was resting. The detective in question was sitting in his usual squat, staring at a TV that had become overwhelmed with static.
L didn't turn when he heard them step inside. "Good morning. Mogi-San offered to assist Watari in bringing breakfast for everyone. Matsuda-San will be absent." Almost as soon as he said that, both Mogi and Watari arrived with trays of food, and even if Aizawa had no appetite, he was grateful for that kindness.
But that wasn't the only thing on his mind. "Why will Matsuda be gone?"
"He asked for some time to clear his head," L said. "Given how late he stayed last night and the friendship between him and Ukita-San, I didn't see a reason to refuse. I gave him the rest of the day off and assured him someone would fill him in on the contents of the tapes."
The new voices and sounds caused Soichiro to stir awake. "Hm?" he rubbed his head, perplexed by the bandage there, but paying no mind to it as he noticed the others. He turned and saw the static on the screen. "What was on the tapes, Ryuzaki?"
L looked over his shoulder. "Very interesting videos. The instructions were to broadcast video 3 if the police said 'yes' to working with Kira. And if the answer was 'no,' to show video 4." He looked down at the copies sitting in front of him. "Video 3 details the conditions for cooperation. Basically, they were to show more political figures in the news, and particularly to report crimes in which people were injured, or cruelty was shown towards the weak, even if those crimes were minor. Our fake Kira will be the one to decide who should be punished." Making matters even worse, he wasn't finished talking. "And, as proof that the police are sincere about working together… To have top NPA officials and L appear on TV to make the announcement. In other words, to make the top brass and me show our faces, so that if the police start acting suspiciously, we can be killed off."
"What the hell?!" Ide's fingers curled at his sides in rage. "They just want to keep the whole world hostage as some kind of power trip!"
"Yes, that is essentially what is happening," L said. "I'm almost sure that this fake knew very well the police would never say 'yes' when they decided to take this step. Anybody could guess that the police would respond exactly as they did yesterday."
"So what about the 'no' video, number 4…?" Soichiro asked.
Aizawa groaned. "Let me guess. The exact same thing, just worded a little differently?"
L nodded, picking up the remote and holding it up to the screen. "It'll be much faster to have you watch it than to explain it in words. Yagami-San, obviously the police are going to say 'no,' so before Mogi-San takes you home, please go ahead and give Sakura TV permission to air this video." He pressed the play button, and Aizawa took in everything he could.
"It is highly unfortunate that the police have said 'no' to my offer. However, I expect news reports to continue as before, or else I will have to pass judgement on people in the police and the media. But… since the police have decided to oppose me, that alone will not do. As a penalty, I will take the life of the Director-General of the NPA, which has formed a task force to find and capture me, or of the alleged mastermind leading this task force, known only as L. The Director-General or L—which one will it be? You have four days to decide who will be sacrificed for the loss of a peaceful and just world."
Go fuck yourself. Crawl back into the hole you came from and die there. Aizawa didn't say any of that aloud, but Ryuk's laughter told him it was written all over his face. "This guy's got you pretty mad."
"I know the face of the Director-General and can easily take his life. But if L is chosen instead, he is to appear on Sakura TV in four days, on the 6pm news, and speak for a 10-minute period. I will be the judge of whether the person shown is L. If I determine the person is not L, I will take the lives of several Police Chiefs worldwide as compensation. Lying to me will cost you clearly. I will say this yet again—I do not want to take the lives of innocent people."
"Then don't!" Ide had practically become red in the face. Mogi rested a hand on Ide's shoulder, either in a show of solidarity or an attempt at comfort. "It's not hard! You don't trip and accidentally kill eight people in an evening!"
"You have four days. Think it over and think well."
"The fake is going after you, Ryuzaki." Aizawa stepped closer to L's seat so he could see his face. "Threatening to kill one or multiple high-ranking officials worldwide is asking for L to be sacrificed by the government." He crossed his arms. "What I can't figure out is if this fake wants to help Kira and thinks getting rid of you is the best way to do it, or if holding government officials hostage is meant to make Kira take the fall for this fake's own goals."
"That's what I want to figure out," L said. "It really could go either way…"
Uncovering the intricacies of this fake's motivations wouldn't save them. What other way was there to interpret this besides malice? Malice at him for how he operated, or malice at the world, and using him to take the blame. Aizawa gritted his teeth as the video played a second time. This was disgusting. Playing into something slightly similar to him going for higher-ups and twisting it in such a vile way.
He had only a few days to stop this. He wouldn't let L, nor anyone else, die at the hands of this pathetic monster. They were ruining everything he had worked for. They had created the world of fear he never wanted and killed so many innocent people, and for that he would see them executed himself.
Chapter Text
"It is highly unfortunate that the police have said 'no' to my offer. However, I expect news reports to continue as before, or else I will have to pass judgement on people in the police and the media. But… since the police have decided to oppose me, that alone will not do. As a penalty, I will take the life of the Director-General of the NPA, which has formed a task force to find and capture me, or of the alleged mastermind leading this task force, known only as L. The Director-General or L—which one will it be? You have four days to decide who will be sacrificed for the loss of a peaceful and just world."
"Another Shinigami has come down to the human world." Aizawa said it aloud, though he wasn't sure whether to himself to the other two people in the room. Everything was wrong, and it left him hesitating on what to do next, looking over the whiteboard they had set up on the table of Ide's apartment. His hand hovered over the pen, picking it up and drawing a line. "That Shinigami's Death Note… is in the hands of an enemy. An enemy who pretends they endorse Kira. We know that much."
"There is no denying they are the enemy," Ide said. "The question we need to figure out is if they see themselves that way. It could help us predict their moves." He flipped through the worn pages of another heavy tome, searching for any clue that could spark a memory or a sense of familiarity in Ryuk. "This new 'Kira' made themselves known, and that has its benefits and drawbacks. It gives L something more urgent to focus on, but…"
"This fake could have DNA evidence tied to them," Aizawa finished. "L won't be distracted for long, and if he catches the fake…" he moved the hand-drawn picture of the notebook to L's side of the board. He tried not to think about the sketch in the perfect likeness of the detective they needed to save. A life that could soon come to an end. "He could get his hands on the Death Note—he would find out how Kira kills. That could be a problem for us."
Ide nodded. "Right. But we have an advantage knowing what to look for." He leaned forward, holding the book up for Ryuk to take from him and continue reading. "We can use our knowledge of the notebook to find this imposter ourselves. and figure out how to get the notebook from them. The ideal scenario would be to send it back to the Shinigami Realm or destroy it, but we don't know enough about this Shinigami to be certain of anything…"
"I wonder…" He looked back at Ryuk, where the Shinigami sat hunched over the tome he was reading, all the while laughing to himself at what Aizawa could only assume were the more nonsensical stories humans believed. "Ryuk? Do you know any Shinigami who would drop another notebook into the human world?" It was a long shot. Ryuk had mentioned before that he was something of an oddity among his kind, but he would be foolish not to propose the question.
"Nope." Ryuk said, then he paused. "Well…" He looked up from the book, tilting his head and neck at an odd angle to stare at the ceiling in thought. "Gelus, maybe, but probably not. The last time I heard anything about most of us showing any real interest in humans was around twenty, maybe twenty-five, years ago."
Ide raised an eyebrow. "What happened twenty-five years ago?"
"Something about a relationship with a human," Ryuk said. "Nobody knows the details, but the Old Man got so bent out of shape about it he forbade us from having physical relationships with anyone." He shrugged casually. "That rule never impacted me, so I didn't care to go snooping. A few others did, but the results were so inconclusive that besides blaming Armonia Justin Beyondormason, we're pretty sure it was just some fable that got made up to explain the Old Man deciding to remove a useless feature." He loudly shut the book, and Aizawa had to stave back a small laugh. Was he mimicking Ide's mannerisms for how to handle books? "But that's neither here nor there. The Shinigami who owned the notebook should be the least of your worries. You should be more worried about the human they're bonded to."
"The human?" Aizawa glanced over at Ide, noticing him scribbling down notes into his own brown notebook. Writing down every detail he could get from Ryuk about Shinigami. They would come back to this to ask some questions, but now was not the time. He leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms. "I've been wondering about that. I found the Death Note by chance, but is it possible this human was selected?"
"Don't know. It depends." Ryuk reached far behind him, arching his back almost in half to reach the bag of apples on the ground beside his chair. "Some Shinigami might select a human, others think of you humans like they would food, so it doesn't make a difference to them. All about convenience and what the Shinigami is looking for."
Ide visibly tensed from Ryuk's remark. Right. This must be his first time hearing that detail. "There isn't a way to be sure…" Aizawa muttered. "I'm going to go out on a limb and assume there are no set criteria for what a Shinigami would look for in a human?"
"That's right." Ryuk leaned his head back, tossing an apple above his head and catching it. "If a Shinigami chose a human, it would be because something about that human was interesting to them, but that could mean anything. There aren't any real criteria for it—even being willing to actually use the notebook wouldn't be reliable criteria, depending on the motive."
"I see." Aizawa stared back down at the board, resting his fist under his chin. He picked up the pen and twirled it in his hand. "Then we need to go over everything again to see if we can create more of a profile for this fake."
"There is one thing I can tell you about this human." Ryuk said. He turned his head to stare at both Aizawa and Ide, the weak starlight coming in past the curtains doing just enough to subdue the glow of his eyes, but not enough to make the intensity any less unsettling. "They traded away half of their remaining lifespan to make the deal for Shinigami Eyes. That's not new information to you, but that should tell you quite a bit. Unless this human doesn't value their life at all and didn't care about the price, they're not going to back down."
"That…" Aizawa heaved a sigh. "Is what I was afraid of. What could someone want badly enough to give up half of their life for it? It would be one thing if the price would give them fame, fortune, freedom…" his hand moved up to his own shoulder. "But what could they have to gain from the Shinigami Eyes? What else are they good for besides using the Death Note?"
"Killing as many innocent people as possible seems to be a start." A scoff got past Ide's lips the longer he stared at the chess piece they were using to represent the fake in the absence of a physical description they could use for Ide's drawings. "Throwing away half your life to kill people… Can you imagine? If they wanted to help you create a better world, I could understand that, but the attack on Sakura TV was so vile, I'm not sure what we could do about it."
Aizawa hummed, fidgeting with the pen in his hand. "What if we could get the fake to tell us what they want?" Ide turned, his brows furrowing. He looked down at the board, then back to Aizawa, gesturing for him to continue. "They must have expected some kind of response from Kira. I haven't made any true confirmation I exist, but even if they were hoping to get away with me staying silent, they must have prepared for me to make a statement of my own to explain the truth." He leaned forward in his seat, clasping his hands in front of him. "Maybe it's time I made a public statement as Kira… We might be able to get more information if we do."
"That is extremely risky," Ide said. "Getting more information for ourselves could risk giving L more information, but…" a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth. "We do know how to pull it off safety without leaving any evidence. There is a chance this will anger the fake or drive them into hiding, but you're right. You need to establish to the public that you don't stand by this psycho."
Aizawa nodded. "My biggest advantage has always been that people claim they don't stand by what I'm doing, but when the chips are down, they have proven to accept what I'm offering," he said. "This fake would ruin that, and people don't like having their morals thrown on their head. They would be comforted by the knowledge that the attack on Sakura TV was someone else's doing, and I might be able to garner more support by denouncing the fake..."
"When you put it that way, making a statement now has more rewards than risks," Ide said. "It doesn't matter if L is given more information about the fake, as long as we are still the only ones who know about the notebook and what to look for." He bit down on the knuckle of his index finger, and Aizawa swatted his hand away to stop him from doing that. "There is the risk the fake could start blackmailing you and willingly giving information to the investigation if you don't meet their demands. What do we do if they try that?"
"Someone with that few morals would turn to that regardless. If blackmailing me for not meeting their demands was ever an option, it will happen eventually, no matter what we do," Aizawa pointed out. "You agreed I need to make a public statement separating myself from the fake, and this is the only way we have a chance of saving the lives this fake has threatened." His grip tightened on the pen in his hand. "I can't let that happen."
Ide rested his hand on Aizawa's thigh. "You're right. Saving the people in danger should be our top priority, and doing so will help with damage control." He moved around some images on the board. "If the fake refuses to listen to you, we will have more information to use against them we can use to save L's life."
"If nothing else, it will buy L and us some time…" Aizawa said. "It's only reasonable for world leaders to wait for a response to my statement before they take any drastic action. If this fake proves to be so insane to not care about basic logic, there was never anything we could do…"
All he could do was figure out what to say in a statement. L planned to release the fake's tape with the ultimatum in three days. That was more than enough time to form a plan and a statement from Kira without being caught. I need to have my statement broadcast a day or two after the ultimatum to seem like it was in response to the tape being broadcast with no police information. If luck was on his side, he would at least save L's life…
He needed to be able to save someone.
Aizawa gritted his teeth, leaning forward with his head in his hands, fingers digging into his scalp as the pen fell from his hand. "I hate this. I hate this bastard! Forcing me out and risking everything… killing so many innocent people…" his chest seized. It was so hard to breathe. He forced himself to look up, even if he could only stare at the wall. "It would be selfish and cruel to back out now. I… I can't let this fake get away. Just thinking about the way Ukita died, I…" his hands were shaking, and he wiped away tears threatening to spill down his face. "I have to stop this fake. I have to…"
This could become dangerous. This would be the first time he gave L and the world a true look into who he was. But the danger to himself was the furthest thing from his mind. It didn't matter. All that mattered was protecting as many people as possible and stopping this fake once and for all. That was his salient objective.
OoOoO
Aizawa knew they were in for bad news the moment Soichiro opened the door. Not surprising news by any means—from the moment the Superintendent left, the members of the task force had waited around the table in bated breath and restless apprehension for the confirmation of what they had all known from the moment the ultimatum was proposed.
Yet he couldn't stop the disappointment and the rage bubbling in his chest when he saw the resigned expression on Soichiro's face. His eyes closed and his body stiff, bracing himself to deliver the news they all knew was coming, but no one wanted to hear.
He tried to convince himself that there was any hope of another outcome. Not to be convincing to anyone, not even himself, but to stop himself from saying or doing something he would regret. "How did it go?"
Soichiro sighed. "Just as I thought, Ryuzaki…" he lowered himself into the last seat, taking a breath and wringing his hands before he could bring himself to look L directly in the eye. "World leaders have talked it over among themselves, and… they're demanding that L… not a stand-in, but the real L… appear on TV." He gripped tighter on his own hands. Aizawa had never heard a quiet rage like this from Soichiro before, as he practically spat out his words. "After doing almost nothing to help with the investigation, they don't even try to come up with some alternative. The fake or whoever they think this is, says jump, they ask how high."
"Do they know this is a fake Kira?" Matsuda asked. "Maybe if we presented our arguments—"
"I did, Matsuda…" Soichiro bowed his head. "Believe me, I did. They don't care. This person may not be Kira, but they have the power to take their lives, and that is all that matters."
If all else fails, I know some people to add to the next batch. He wouldn't be able to do anything unless the worst-case scenario came to pass, but he couldn't decide if that was for the best. He could understand how this had happened, but that didn't change the truth, that the decision was made from pure cowardice.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" He had to bite back something more, but that was enough to clue Ide in to what he was thinking. Ide grabbed onto his hand and squeezed. A message. Don't act in anger.
Ide's hand on his helped him calm his erratic thoughts. Inhale, then exhale… Aizawa opened his eyes, hoping his own presence could do the same for Ide, and he could tell it was. He dared a glance at L. How was he dealing with this? Knowing that the governments he had aided for so many years had decided he was to be sacrificed?
He hadn't expected any release of emotion or a visible acknowledgement of what could be his imminent death, so the blank, almost bored look on L's face wasn't anything unexpected. What Aizawa hadn't prepared for was for what L said.
"Their decision is both right and reasonable." L set down his cup, but he didn't move his hand away from it. He instead traced the rim with his fingertip. "It's simply unacceptable for the police to work with Kira, much less this imposter. And if it's between me and the NPA Director-General, of course it should be me. I'm the one who challenged Kira and said I'd capture him, and in doing so invoked this imposter's wrath."
"But…" Matsuda's breath hitched. His hand was shaking as he reached out towards L. "That means you'll…" he hesitated, pulling his hand back just before he made contact. "Be…"
"It's the right decision." L insisted. His eyes took on a vacant, faraway look, poking at the piece of cake in front of him with a fork. "What worries me more is that when I appear on TV, and I intend to… if Not-Kira knows nothing about me, then even if it's really me out there… How do I get them to believe I'm L?"
He wasn't wrong, but for him to be so accepting of this was…
Matsuda could only stare at the floor, shaking his head from side to side. Until something changed. Where his fingers had fidgeted just in front of him, they stilled. His breathing relaxed. He seemed calmer than he had been before, but it wasn't natural—or a normal kind of calm, especially on Matsuda. "You've got a point…"
Aizawa thought back to the rumors, and seeing this now, and Matsuda's reaction to the sound of a shattered window days ago. He had seen Matsuda's stress response before, and it wasn't this. But this wasn't a normal stress response, was it? This was…
More than that, he was conceding L had a point with this? "Hey…" They didn't need to worry about that. Because they would find a way to stop the sacrifice of L. There was no point considering something that wouldn't come to pass.
L took a large bite of his cake, his enjoyment and delight from it softening his features and highlighting how young he truly was. Aizawa's heart clenched. "Well, I'll do what I can to make them believe me," L said. "But if I fail, and police chiefs around the world get killed as a result, that's what bothers me. It'll be quite hard, proving that I'm L. I really don't know how Not-Kira intends to figure it out."
"What makes you think they intend to figure it out?" Ide asked. "Not-Kira, as we call them, was willing to kill police officers and news broadcasters who were doing the jobs. If there is no way to prove who you are, they can claim you lied about your identity, kill you while pretending they are killing a stand-in, then kill the Director-General and anyone else they decide will be the next hostage, and repeat the process until there is no one left." He poured some of the cream into the coffee Watari had offered him, taking a careful drink. "Either that will demonize 'L' to the public if the world believes the person being sacrificed was never you, or force the world to bend to the knee of the fake to stop the murders."
Matsuda grimaced. His fingers curled against his thigh, and Aizawa did everything he could to ignore the interest Ryuk had visibly taken, enough so to perch on the top of the couch just over Matsuda to look down on him. "You think Not-Kira is trying to get L as a ransom for the hostage, but still plans to kill the hostage?"
"What has the bastard done to disprove that idea?" Aizawa asked. "They can even claim to be following the will of Kira, or if they don't expose themselves as an imposter, continuing their mission and make the claim sacrificing L would only have saved anyone if those people weren't deserving of death."
"That's what I was wondering about last night. All of this is a ploy for governments to turn on me and have me killed. However…" L traced his lips with his thumb. "The real Kira doesn't operate that way. If I were Kira, I'd be pretty furious." He picked up his cup, bringing it up to his lips. "So far, Kira has avoided attacking innocent people, and that included people who were after him. We can debate about the Director of the FBI, but all signs point to if that was connected, it was inevitable, regardless of the FBI probing. His method is to make his views gradually penetrate and change society. Kira's aim is not a dictatorship based on fear."
Aizawa pursed his lips. "We agreed Kira is definitely an adult, but we haven't said anything about this fake. And considering the fingerprints we found…"
"Hm?" Soichiro asked. "Fingerprints?"
Aizawa held up the small plastic bag he brought with him. He had been looking for a way to talk about this. He needed a second opinion, because if his suspicions were correct… "The lab found matching fingerprints on the postage stamps and videos that don't belong to Sakura staff."
Matsuda nodded, remaining unusually serious as he picked up where Aizawa had left off. "There's no way Kira would leave prints, but we can't be sure about Not-Kira." He reached over to the documents that came alongside the fingerprints, passing them across the table for Soichiro to read. "There hasn't been a match in the database yet."
When did Matsuda hear about that? He must have overheard him talking to Ide earlier. Noted… Matsuda listens to people. He wouldn't have been eavesdropping, but regardless, that was something to take note of. "Yeah. Some friends in forensics promised to keep looking, but it is possible Not-Kira made someone else handle the stuff. Maybe…" Please, let someone else have handled the stuff.
"Hm… I'd say it's possible the prints are Not-Kira's," L said. "It would be smarter to leave no fingerprints at all, but this one is far less intelligent and methodical than the real Kira. It could be they didn't think about the videos and packaging being seized by the police." He reached to take the bag from Aizawa, and Aizawa let him. L held up the bag to his eye level, tilting his head to the side. "Well, even if we restricted our search to Japan, it would be impossible to take fingerprints from everyone in the country, so it would be difficult to pinpoint the sender with this. We have to catch them first, and then compare the prints." He hummed to himself. "Interesting, though, how little these fingerprints are…"
"Aizawa and I noticed that when we got the results back from forensics." Ide said. "What are your thoughts on it?"
L held the bag a little higher over his head to inspect from another angle. "The prints are a child's, or a small woman's."
That confirmed it. Unless the impostor forced someone else to make the tapes and left those fingerprints behind, the fake Kira was a young woman or a child. Oh no… Oh, god, no… He couldn't decide which of those two options was worse. If this was a child, that was unimaginable. If this was a young woman, that meant he had an obstacle in his path that made investigating in secret almost impossible. He couldn't go near her!
Don't think about that. He had to remind himself. We don't know anything about the fake. The fingerprints could be someone else's or just a smaller individual. Don't panic until there is more evidence…
Soichiro seemed to be of a similar mind. The fake being a child was a possibility so horrible it should be avoided at all costs. "Ryuzaki… You mentioned before that Kira could be furious with someone using his title to commit these acts?"
"Yes. He must have seen the broadcasts, and I am certain the real Kira is feeling a multitude of things at the moment." L said. "This fake brings with them more problems than just damage to his reputation. Even if the two don't kill people in the same way, I believe that if we capture one, we'll gain some clues at least as to how to capture the other one." He rested his hands on his knees, staring off into space. Ryuk cocked his head, looking in the direction the detective's eyes were trained in an attempt to find what was so interesting. "He would be concerned about that, and any threat the fake may pose to him. This fake's very existence is a problem, and pairing that with the murders they have committed… If I were in Kira's position, all those factors combined would turn my concern into rage. There is no greater insult than someone hiding behind your identity to commit heinous acts under the guise of furthering the cause." He took another bite of his cake. "If nothing else, it's certainly annoying. I wonder if this will finally be the thing to let me meet Kira for the first time…"
"Meet Kira?" Soichiro asked.
L nodded. "Until this point, Kira has only vaguely alluded to his existence. He became more direct when he developed a schedule to kill in batches, but the argument could be made that was the actions of an organization with connections instead of one person," he said. "Kira has suggested he exists, but has done nothing to confirm it beyond a reasonable doubt. But Not-Kira is going against everything Kira worked for and doing it in his name. He would need to respond to combat this fake, and if he responds, that means this would be the first time we hear Kira speak." He smiled in a morbid sense of hopefulness. "I would quite like to meet Kira."
Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you we've already met.
L shook away those thoughts, grounding himself back into reality. "Well, we have another three days. I'll try to come up with a way to prevent the whole thing. I don't want to die either." He paused, thinking about something. "Yagami-San. What does your son think of all of this?"
Soichiro blinked. "What does my son think?" He stared down at the table in front of them. "He has a lot of thoughts on this. He was telling me yesterday how this fake Kira seems like an affluent yet petulant child. Someone who endorses Kira, but at the same time, proves the worst enemy Kira could have." His fingers curled around the fabric of his pants. "According to his theory, Kira will be furious, and he will focus on damage control and on finding the fake before the police can. He would gauge whether the fake was friend or foe, and if they were a friend… take that into consideration, but it won't change Kira's decision to kill them."
Amazement and horror warred in Aizawa, and he was only able to stare with a blank face. Light figured all of that out…? He shouldn't have been surprised. Maybe he wasn't. But that didn't change the way his stomach dropped when he saw the spark in L's eyes, or how his own lungs were paralyzed by the shift in the Shinigami's laughter, leaving no room to convince himself he wasn't in danger.
"Perhaps your son is right." L said, a slow smile spreading across his face. "All of our evidence certainly points to the idea this fake Kira is an affluent child, and as for Kira's possible next moves… That is what I would do in this situation. It seems we can agree on that." Watari refilled L's cup with coffee, and L dropped some sugar cubes into the hot liquid. But he didn't drink from it, instead staring at his own reflection. "In my estimation, the real Kira is the smarter of the two, and if our theories are right, that means we're in a race with Kira to track down Not-Kira, which in turn means we have the opportunity to capture the real Kira." He turned, staring directly at Soichiro with an intensity that put Aizawa on edge. What are you thinking? "Yagami-San. Would it be all right with you if I asked your son to work with us when he has the time?"
Something flashed in Soichiro's eyes. His whole body went rigid. Aizawa couldn't tell if he was breathing. "Can I take that to mean he's 100% cleared of suspicion?"
"No, I can't say that. But I do think he has very good reasoning abilities," L said. "Though I will admit, Light-Kun being so open with his deductions does help his case. Even if he is Kira, he is a valuable asset to us in apprehending this fake."
Soichiro's reluctant hope gave way to a scowl, turning his head away and squeezing his eyes shut. He almost seemed like he was making a deal with a demon, and even if that wasn't what was happening, Aizawa couldn't blame him. A decision like this wasn't one he would inflict on anyone. Soichiro had to take a deep breath before his features smoothed over, and he smiled slightly. "Well, if my son says yes, I have no reason to stop him."
Color returned to Matsuda's face, a wave of relief washing over him that allowed his eyes to regain their usual sparkle. Muted compared to how it was supposed to be, but after everything… Aizawa could understand why. He could only be relieved by the smile touching Matsuda's lips as he rubbed the back of his neck. "We don't mind either."
"Speak for yourself." Aizawa leaned forward, making sure Soichiro was looking at him. "Superintendent. I have no problem working with Light, but aren't you worried about his safety? If we mess up, he could pay the price. How are you okay with this?"
"I'm not okay with it," Soichiro said. "You know better than anyone how I feel. This is the worst choice I have ever had to make." He let out a deep, weary sigh, and that alone revealed his how drained he was. Grey streaks had found their way into his hair, almost as though they had appeared overnight by magic, making the shadows under his eyes all the more prevalent. No amount of being forced to rest had allowed him to sleep. "Light has been a part of this since he jumped off the bridge that day. At this point, keeping him close might be the best thing for him. I don't like this, but at the very least, this could prove his innocence. It has to."
OoOoO
The sun shone brightly over the streets of Tokyo, the streets crowded with people taking cautious advantage of the brief reprieve from the heavy cloud cover that had fallen over the city since the night of April 18th. Nobody could see the dark shadow from overhead, nor did anyone pay attention to the blonde young woman the shadow was following just behind.
"Hey, you." The Shinigami, Rem, watched her newest charge, a bounce in the girl's step as she walked through the crowd. Uncaring about the broadcast of her own creation the night before. "This wasn't what I gave you that Death Note for. How about using it more for yourself?"
"I am using it for myself." Was the answer from Misa Amane, never faltering in her stride, and never turning around to truly acknowledge her companion. "I'm totally in favor of what Kira's doing, and I want to know what he's like. I want to meet him, and get to talk to him. That's the reason I moved to Tokyo in the first place, and sent those videos to Sakura TV. Because I want him to know about me. I bet that got his attention. Maybe he even wants to meet me, too."
Rem narrowed her eye. Try as she might, she had never been able to understand that motivation. Why would anyone want to put their limited life on the line for someone they had never met? "You're playing a dangerous game, Misa," she warned. "There's a chance you could be killed. Do you realize that?"
From over her head, Rem could tell that Misa had smiled. "I'll be fine. Kira proved he's kind to those with good intentions." Misa spun on the balls of her feet, allowing her true eyes to glint in the sunlight. "And if push comes to shove, I'm still stronger than he is, because I have the eyes."
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Light was… going to become part of the team? Aizawa couldn’t tear himself away from Soichiro. Weariness from the weight of the choice had left the Superintendent looking empty. Far away. His eyes were like glass marbles, staring past and through L into the quiet darkness beyond. Lost so deep into his own thoughts that it was hard to tell if he could hear them.
A barely suppressed glance in Soichiro’s direction betrayed that his turmoil had not gone unnoticed. L carefully watched Soichiro’s breathing, and Aizawa could almost see the numbers and percentages being calculated in his mind, before the detective’s eyes turned away. He wasn’t ignoring the brewing storm under the surface, but if nothing he could say or do would change anything, what reason did he have to try?
L cleared his throat, the sharp sound cutting through the low hum of wandering attention that had overtaken the room. Everyone had their minds occupied with something. Theories and speculation they needed to see through, or vivid memories of that night that made it impossible to sleep or focus on reality. Or on the agonizing truth it could all happen again so soon. That was only natural, but they couldn't allow it to distract them. “So then, I’d like to ask for Light-Kun’s help with the investigation,” he said. “While keeping the information we have from him.”
Matsuda’s brows furrowed. “But… Wouldn’t that make it difficult for him to help us?” He looked over to Aizawa and Ide for an explanation, but his questioning expression was only met with silence. Aizawa wracked his mind for any kind of answer, and from Ide’s expression of pursed lips and eyes lingering on the floor, neither of them had one to give.
“Yeah…” Curiosity and an unusual anxiety had taken too firm a root in Aizawa’s heart for him to stifle the nagging suspicion in the back of his head, and whether he wanted it to or not, he knew it translated into his tone. “Why even ask for his help…?”
“No, we will only keep information from him until he’s watched this first tape and given us his opinion,” L said. He picked up the first of the labeled tapes between his fingertips, holding it up for them to see. “After that, we will include him and go after the fake Kira together.”
So that’s what it is… There were many things he wanted to say, but Aizawa didn’t need to so much as open his mouth before Ide understood his line of thought. Ide kept his arms crossed, watching L with entwined skepticism and intrigue. “You’re testing him.”
“In a sense.” L took a drink from his coffee, his face twisting in mild disgust before dropping in another sugar cube, putting the total up to eight. “Not as much as you would think. Yagami-San has told us about Light-Kun’s theories, and I am inclined to believe them. Light-Kun’s reasoning ability is quite amazing. After seeing this tape, he may conclude something that will help us in this case.”
Aizawa leaned forward in his seat. “I see. This isn’t a test to catch him in a lie.” He searched L’s face for anything that could give him insight into the detective’s mind. “You want to see his deductions without the outside influence of what we know in the investigation.”
But L’s face remained as perfectly neutral as it had ever been. “Yes. I’d like to see his reaction to seeing all of our evidence and this tape.” He refilled his cup of coffee, but before he could drop in more sugar cubes, his hand stilled. He paused, staring down at the drink and then the tape he had set aside. “Light-Kun’s assistance in this may not help to prove his innocence, but I can’t help but wonder…”
Soichiro blinked, and for the briefest moment, it cleared away the haze over him. “Ryuzaki?”
“Light-Kun suggested the real Kira would be furious with the actions of this imposter in his name, and he would focus on damage control,” L said. “This would suggest Kira is against the imposter’s ultimatum and could make a statement to prevent it, and I am inclined to agree. However…” He seemed to ponder his next words, turning his head and staring long and hard out the far window. “That doesn’t change the objective truth of how much he could benefit from it… He is smart enough to know that.”
And with those words, the fragile, barely resurrected sparkle in Matsuda’s eyes was gone—even the honey brown of his irises became dull. He leaned heavily against the back of the couch cushion with his arms crossed over his chest, speaking through clenched teeth, barely working to hide the way his breathing shook. “It’s the perfect opportunity…”
Matsuda…? Aizawa tried to ignore the trepidation that sent a chill down his spine and pricked at the back of his neck from this change in the younger man. “What has you saying that?”
“If Ryuzaki goes on TV and dies in three days, the head of the investigation against Kira will be dead, and Interpol might shut down the case,” Matsuda said. There was a touch of bitterness in his voice, yet he remained matter-of-fact, shifting his gaze to look not at L but at the door just behind him. “Kira didn’t have to do anything, and he would be blameless. He wasn’t willing to kill that guy Ryuzaki put in his place a few months ago, but he did kill the FBI Director after the probing of the NPA was exposed.” He leaned forward with his elbows and forearms resting against his thighs, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. “I know… killing the FBI Director was probably inevitable and could even be a coincidence, or just because a civilian got hurt, but it’s worth bringing up. If Kira was going to kill anyone going after him, it would be the head of an investigation.”
“Right…” Soichiro’s voice came from across the table, pulling Aizawa’s gaze away from where he had been fixated on Matsuda, turning instead to the Superintendent. His face was almost unreadable, a mask that betrayed nothing about his inner thoughts, that Aizawa had no idea when or how he had slipped on. What struck him the most was that Soichiro seemed devoid of either surprise or alarm from this change in Matsuda. The opposite, actually.
Had he known this could happen? Does he know why?
“We also have to consider the implications of Interpol’s decision,” Soichiro continued. He pressed his palms down on the armrests to push himself to his feet, walking around L’s chair and to place his hand on Matsuda’s shoulder. His fingers curled to dig into the muscles ever so slightly, and Matsuda relaxed under his touch. “World leaders have proven they will agree to any demand if it means saving themselves. If Kira is trying to make societal changes, it may have nothing to do with Ryuzaki to be curious how this will play out. We agreed Otoharada was an experiment of Kira’s powers, so he will kill people for experimentation in his goals.”
Aizawa chewed on the inside of his bottom lip, bile rising in the back of his throat. Nothing about Soichiro’s words was unfair or inaccurate, but to have such a cold description was…
Ide shook his head. “I disagree. Kira may be curious about the result, but Ryuzaki’s death wouldn’t align with Kira’s MO,” he said. “We need to remember Otoharada was an active threat at the time. His death was an experiment, but there was a reason for it to happen.” He held up some of the files he had been sifting through and organizing. “The same applies to the FBI Director—the circumstances were different, and the victims could have died as a result of that. Ryuzaki being sacrificed wouldn’t align with what we’ve seen.”
Ryuk chuckled, leaning closer from his spot perched above Matsuda. “Careful there, Hideki. It’s starting to sound like you’re defending Kira.”
Aizawa would have worried the same thing, but he knew Ide. Despite Ryuk’s remark, Ide’s calm expression didn’t waver. He wasn’t finished. “It could go either way. Kira has something to gain and learn from letting this happen, but doing so would deviate from the standards he has set,” he said. “That would be a problem in the long run—as Ryuzaki said, Not-Kira’s actions are turning the public against him. Even if Kira was unable to do anything, there would be ripple effects from this, and none of them are good for Kira’s goals.”
L nodded thoughtfully. “Yes…”
“Why are we debating if Kira wants to prevent this or not?” Aizawa asked. He set his jaw in a failed attempt to bite back his exasperation. “We can’t start relying on Kira to help us.” He looked over at L, noticing out of the corner of his eye that he was watching him. “We’re acting under the assumption Not-Kira endorses Kira but does not understand how Kira thinks, but we don’t know that for certain. Even if Kira intervenes, it might not change the fact that you’ll die. What does any of this have to do with Light?”
“Light-Kun’s characterization of Kira could be useful to us,” L said. “I’m thinking Not-Kira would follow orders from the real Kira. We may not know their motive for certain, but their actions do align with a misguided attempt to follow Kira. That means there’s a chance we can stop them by creating a fake message from the real Kira.” He reached out to refill his cup again. His hand was shaking. Aizawa pulled the coffee away from him. “I want Light-Kun to write this message.”
Soichiro’s hand on Matsuda’s shoulder must have been the much-needed anchor he needed to return to himself. It was enough of a grounding presence that Aizawa could watch in real time as Matsuda was pulled back from the edge of whatever had been on his mind. “What?” Matsuda scratched his head, glancing up toward Soichiro with a questioning look. “This is a little confusing to me…”
Soichiro had his eyes closed, almost squeezed shut in an attempt to block out the conversation. “You believe my son’s profile of Kira would be perfect to dissuade Not-Kira from continuing this ultimatum.” He pulled his hand away from Matsuda and returned to his own chair, opening his eyes again with resolute composure. “Because you know what his beliefs about Kira are… You’re saying your suspicion of my son will grow if he doesn’t perfectly adhere to those beliefs?”
Is that the truth? “That’s a bit harsh.”
“No, in that case my suspicion will stay at 5%,” L said. “It would be unfair to hold Light-Kun to that when he may need to bend his impression to get results. This statement is the difference between life and death—I won’t hold anything against him if he changes a statement to save my life.” He tilted his head up, staring at the ceiling lights. “If he changed the statement to have me killed while framing himself as blameless, then I might have a problem with that. But I sincerely doubt Light-Kun would do such a thing.” He blinked slowly, lowering his head back down to address them. “I do need to emphasize that nothing Light-Kun does will impact his Kira percentage. He is in no danger from this. Consider it… an experiment.”
Ide’s brows furrowed. “What would Light need to do for you to declare him innocent?”
“I don’t know yet. We’ll see when the day comes.” L rose from his seat, walking over to approach the window and look out over the city below, his fingertips brushing against the glass. Ryuk got up from his perch on the back of the couch and phased through the window to watch the detective’s face. “Well then, if Light-Kun is okay with it, have him come here secretly as soon as he can.”
Soichiro eyed L warily, then down at the phone in his hand. His grip tightened around it, and he seemed to be torn between punching in the numbers and throwing the phone away. He exhaled deeply, and he flipped it open. “All right.”
Superintendent… Aizawa wanted to say something, but his attention was captured by what waited in his peripheral. L had his back to them, but Ryuk was facing them through the window. Watching L. His head slowly rose to meet Aizawa’s eyes, and even if nothing had changed, the grin he gave him seeped through Aizawa’s skin and through muscle and bone until it pierced his heart and turned every nerve to ice.
He must have made some kind of sound, because L craned his neck to look over his shoulder. His dark bangs had never caught Aizawa’s notice before, but the shadow they cast over his eyes only made the iron vice over his throat tighten its grip. Was it the hand of death reaching out to claim the young man? Or was it something else… something unimaginably worse?
“Aizawa-San. Are you all right?”
“I don’t want you to die.” He didn’t know why he said it, only that he had to. The words were caught in his throat, a choked whisper that had left him almost stammering. The forensics lab flashed behind his eyes, and the chill bore deeper into his bones. “I can’t let what happened to Ukita happen to you.”
Something changed in L’s expression then. The cold permeating through him warmed. His eyes, that seemed so dead, regained a subtle shine. He smiled. “Then let’s hope it doesn’t.”
...
There were few things worse than a boring textbook. Light tried to pay attention to the words he was supposed to be reading, but his vision kept losing focus the moment he processed the pretentious sentences and dreary paragraphs waiting for him. Not even the reading glasses he sometimes needed but rarely wore did anything to bring the book into clarity.
Professor Yoneda had decided against bothering to teach his students, citing his own book as a source to learn in their own time. In any other situation, Light wouldn’t have minded the free period, but he didn’t want to be wasting time teaching himself the material for their semester assignment when he could be investigating the case. He should be finding more leads to discuss with L.
He bit back a groan, lying back on in bed and holding the book over his head. Would a new angle make the book more interesting? He tried to read through another passage, somehow short saying too much, while the next passage was too long, while saying nothing at all. “No. Still boring.”
Didn’t someone on the task force deal with this professor before? He rested the book over his chest, staring at the ceiling as he tried to think about the times he had worked with them. He could vaguely remember their faces, but if not for the investigation, even their names would have been a blur—he would be hopeless if he talked to anyone from the front desk. How long had he been trapped sleepwalking through life that he couldn’t remember those things?
All of those thoughts vanished from his mind when he heard the ring of the call he had been waiting for. Light shot upright with enough force that it sent the book flying onto the floor at the foot of his bed, but he paid that no mind as he snatched the phone off his desk. “Dad?”
“Light, Ryuzaki is saying he wants your help with the investigation,” Dad said. Exactly as he was expected to. “If you’re still interested, come here right away without alerting Sayu. The location is…”
Light knew where to go, but he let Dad explain as he put away his reading glasses. He picked the discarded book up off the floor, checking to make sure the pages weren’t damaged before setting it on the desk and hurrying out. “Okay, Dad.” He made a conscious effort not to seem too eager going down the stairs, but gave up about halfway and hurried for the door, calling down the hall as he pulled on his shoes. “I’m heading out!”
Sayu peeked out from the doorway, a half-eaten bag of potato chips in her hand. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to see a friend,” Light said. “I should be back around the time Dad’s home?”
“Oh.” A wide, teasing grin spread across Sayu’s face. She waved in an over-exaggerated manner that could only be described as sarcastic, and like she definitely had the wrong idea of where he was going. “See you next week, Light!”
Mom appeared next in the doorway, rolling her eyes and placing her hand on top of Sayu’s head, causing strands of hair to fall out of her ponytail. “Sayu, don’t say that.” She stepped through the doorway, her eyes narrowing as she looked up and down. Light knew what she was looking for, and he wasn’t about to resist or ask any questions. He simply waited until she was satisfied, and her features softened into a smile. “Have fun, dear. Call me if you’ll be out late.”
“I will.” He waved goodbye, looking up at the sky and the dark clouds over the city as he calculated the route in his head. Taking a taxi would be faster, but his name and face were known and intrinsically linked with the NPA. He couldn’t risk anyone knowing his moves or coming to the conclusion his destination was tied to the investigation.
He sighed, slipping his phone into his jacket pocket. The plan was going forward, just as he suspected. Dad wouldn’t have called him unless L was ready to make the next move. This fake Kira made a mistake in appearing, and now they would doom both themselves and Kira. It’s only a matter of time. Just one clue, and it will be over.
But everything was going to change. He would no longer be investigating in the shadows behind the backs of the task force. He would be known, and he would need to put the mask back on.
Light absently pressed the button to cross the street, adjusting his hands in his pockets as he waited. Seconds felt like minutes waiting, and L’s face came to mind. He smiled to himself. Every time he spoke with L, they were in total agreement—L understood him in ways no one in the world could, and he wanted to believe L felt the same. Alone with L and no one else, it was a dream, but with his father involved, it could become a nightmare. How was he supposed to do what had to be done without disappointing one of the few people whose opinion mattered?
The walk to the hotel wasn’t far, only a few more streets before he was standing at the doors just before the grand lobby. He had known where L would be, but this was his first time here. Investigating from a hotel room with only those who can be trusted, or with Kira. If there are any information leaks here, we can narrow down who did it with absolute certainty. Protection for our allies and a trap for our enemies. That’s just like L.
He barely made it a few steps inside before he heard a voice calling from him from across the lobby. “Light!” He turned, and he recognized the young man walking over to him. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
Matsuda. Dad brought him over to the house a few months ago. He had taken Matsuda under his wing to make sure he adjusted well after his transfer. Light tried to remember if Dad specified why Matsuda was transferred, but he couldn’t think of anything. All L had been able to find for the time being was it was a request from the higher-ups.
That mystery did give him something to think about besides his concerns. He was about to give him a customary greeting, but Matsuda had already turned away from him, signaling with a subtle tilt of his head for Light to follow his lead as he took out his phone. “Ryuzaki, Light has arrived. We’ll be in the room in three minutes.”
Matsuda is good with time. That’s interesting…
The longer he walked with Matsuda, Light felt the tension leaving his muscles, and he got a slight bounce in his step. L accepted the one reservation he may have in their plans, but if the events of last week were anything to go by… What am I worried about? Dad will understand.
...
It was three minutes after Matsuda’s call, not a second more or less, that Aizawa heard the click of the door open behind him, turning instinctively to find Matsuda walking in with a familiar face following behind. Aizawa had to do a double take upon seeing him.
How many years had it been since he last saw Light? He had seen the photos in Soichiro’s office of his family—nothing about him physically had changed, but he couldn’t place the young man in the pictures as the same one standing before him now.
He seemed alive. Aizawa hadn’t noticed it before, but there was a shine in Light’s eyes that he hadn’t seen for some time. When he met Light years ago, the boy was outspoken and eager to participate where he could, but as time had passed and he grew older, that spark had faded and left behind a person who could only be described as exhausted.
Looking back, the change happened so smoothly and with just enough tact that no one could have noticed it, or if they did, they associated it with the pains of growing up. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, was it?
“Light has been a part of this since he jumped off the bridge that day. At this point, keeping him close might be the best thing for him.”
Jumped. That was the word Soichiro used. Not fell.
But none of that could be found in the Light standing before him now. Dressed informally in a midnight teal long-sleeved shirt and dark pants, in contrast to his usual more business casual attire. Subtle shadows under cinnamon eyes were swept to the side by a charming smile that, for once, reached his eyes—excitement at the cost of time, not a restless inability to escape from consciousness.
One good thing came of this case. A slight tension lifted from Aizawa’s shoulders and chest he hadn’t recognized was there. Nothing in the world had changed enough for that to be the reason, but something had changed in Light since this case began. Someone’s life had improved, and right now, that was all he could ask for.
Ryuk looked up from his place upside down on the couch, no longer eyeing the bowl of fruit to see what he could get away with. He flipped around and floated over Aizawa’s head, weaving around people with a surprising agility to closer inspect Light, and the name that would be hovering over his head. “Moon Night God… What a funny name.” He turned his head almost completely around to stare at Aizawa. “He’s sure to make things interesting.”
Well, that was one way to put it. He could feel Ide’s nervousness behind him as an almost tangible presence behind him. Aizawa knew he alone would notice—to anyone else, Ide was reading forensic documents with a bored expression, and at most disliked the contents. But that single comfort did nothing to change the truth of why Ide was so worried.
The almost blinding light of the old computer was the only thing keeping Aizawa awake. His eyes threatened to flutter closed with each scroll of the mouse, through files and documents he could recite by heart if he gave it any effort.
A human-trafficking case, one the NPA took control of after two of the victims were found in a burned building with obvious signs of foul play. All of it seemed so long ago, but it hadn’t been… not really. Long enough though that everyone expected him to move on, and yet here he was. Another night scouring the sources and documents he had memorized time and time again, searching for anything new to ease—
A knock on the partially open door. “Excuse me. Aizawa?”
“Hm?” Aizawa paused, thinking over the voice he heard again. He turned his head, his eye widening to find a child waiting patiently in the doorway. Child may be an unfair description, the boy was definitely a preteen, dressed in a dark grey sweater over a white button up—a style mimicking someone older than him. Nothing about that was something Aizawa would pay any mind to, if not for the time on the wall clock behind him, telling him it was hours past midnight, but long before dawn. “What are you doing here?”
The boy leaned his upper body to the side, trying to see Aizawa’s face in the otherwise dark room, his bangs partially falling into his face before he swiped them out of his eyes. “Dad said I could come with him to work if I got my homework done for the weekend,” he said. “May I come in?”
That was enough for the last piece to click in his fatigued brain and recognize the boy. “Oh—Yeah, Light, you can come in. I didn’t realize your Dad was here.” He pulled over one a spare stool with his foot, patting it for Light to sit down. Light obeyed without hesitation, and Aizawa couldn’t help but smile seeing the boy bouncing in his seat with excitement he barely contained behind a veil of politeness.
“What are you doing here so late?” Light asked. He swiveled on his stool, taking in the organized chaos of the office. “Is Ide not with you?”
“I’m looking over an old case. Ide’s…” He didn’t mean to, but the mention of his partner had his eyes wandering over to the empty seat not far from him. Untouched, as was everything else that remained on the desk. His heart ached. “He’s… not feeling well.” Aizawa forced his eyes away from that seat, grimacing as they landed instead on the old computer. “He needs to rest, but he’s having a hard time doing that with this old case bothering him so much. And,” he turned around in his chair, gesturing toward a corkboard in the back. “Having those new cases coming in doesn’t help.”
Light glanced between the corkboard and Aizawa’s weary face, before his gaze finally settled on the computer screen. “May I see?”
Aizawa shut the computer off, turning on a lamp in its place. “No, Light. This case is one better left in the past.” Light frowned slightly, turning his attention back to the corkboard. His expression was blank for a few seconds, before something seemed to piece itself together in his head. He got to his feet and walked over to the corkboard, only for Aizawa to remember what was on it. “Hey, you shouldn’t—”
“That tree is damaged.”
Aizawa’s outstretched hand froze in front of him. He had to consciously pull it back. “What?”
“Yeah.” Light gestured up to the pictures of the area they had figured out was the crime scene. There was plenty to investigate, but nothing that had given them solid evidence. Nothing… unless Light noticed something? Aizawa watched as Light pulled over the stool and stood on it to take down the picture of the tree. “The tree’s growth was damaged, probably by petroleum fuel on the ground exhausting the oxygen supply from the soil. Was the body burned?”
Aizawa took the picture from Light. Now that he mentioned it… “Yeah. The body was badly burned, and it made it hard to tell when exactly she was killed.” He shouldn’t be discussing this with a child, but he needed this case out of the way before Ide got back. If the Superintendent was comfortable letting his son wander around at odd hours of the night, this shouldn’t be violating any firm boundaries.
Light took a pen from the cup on the nearby table, using it to point to the list of suspects tacked on the corkboard. “Well, if you can figure out when the fuel damaged the tree, you just have to find a suspect who bought extra gas around that time.”
It was a small thing, but that insight gave them the last piece of evidence they needed for a conviction. No one else had seen it, and Aizawa would be lying if he claimed he would have any idea what to look for if not for Light’s attention to an obscure detail.
That was seven years ago, and Light had only become more brilliant in the time since. In this case alone, he was able to recognize he was being followed and lure his stalker into a trap that changed the Kira case forever. Allied with L, he would be nigh unstoppable.
But Aizawa wasn’t Kira right now, and even if he was, they had a common enemy in the fake Kira. There was no reason to be afraid.
He was Shuichi Aizawa, and that boy was Light Yagami, son of a good friend.
Light didn’t react to a Shinigami’s breath on the back of his neck. He was focused entirely on L taking Light’s hand in his to shake. “Thank you, Light-Kun.”
“Not at all, Ryuzaki. I want to catch Kira and this imposter as much as you do.” Light gaze remained on L’s hand for a moment longer until he could pull himself away to instead face the others, and Aizawa noticed the flicker of recognition. Light smiled warmly. “I suspect you all are going to introduce yourselves under aliases, so I should probably mention that I remember your names. All I need is my father’s alias, so I can use it for myself.”
Soichiro held up his hand. “I’m Asahi.”
“I see.” He nodded to himself, glancing over at L. “Then should I be ‘Light Asahi’?”
“That would be fine. I will call you Light-Kun here,” L said. He gestured for Light to follow him, and Light took the chance to look around the hotel room they were calling their base of operations. Scattered computers and documents lay strewn on the coffee table, and on the side closest to the wall was the hazard of charging cables labeled with colored tape to determine which one belonged to who.
Light counted the pieces of colored tape before glancing up curiously to L. “So the investigation team is five members? I only see four here.”
“The fifth person you’re referring to is keeping tabs on the office with the NPA,” L explained. “Besides him, we have other trusted members on the outside. And among them is one who can only be contacted directly by me. You’ve met Watari, but I am certain you didn’t see his face.”
Aizawa’s brows furrowed. Other trusted members on the outside? Was that true? It could be a lie because Light was a suspect, but L had been so careful until now… He couldn’t deny the possibility this was just as much to a message to the task force as it was to Light. If everyone here but one died, the survivor would have to be Kira. A clever way of protecting the people here, even if they were never in any danger. Aizawa had no plan to kill anyone here, but that was useful information. Whether or not it was true was another matter entirely.
“Now, how about we get right down to things?” L picked up the remote from the side table where it was hiding behind another stack of documents. He urged Light to sit in the striped chair in front of the television. “Would you take a look at the evidence we’ve gathered, and the unreleased tape that was sent to the TV station? Understand that taking the documents out of the room or making notes is prohibited.”
Aizawa took a seat besides Ide, who finally raised his head from the documents in his hands to watch. Aizawa kept his arms crossed, watching for any subtle movement that could give him insight into Light was thinking. It would be hard to tell with his back to them, but this was just as much information for him as it was for L. How much of a threat was Light?
Light watched the video quietly for a few minutes, only occasionally peering over his shoulder at the people watching him. Matsuda kept his hands on his hips, standing just in front of Soichiro, who did his best not to watch at all. Besides Light taking a mental note of that, nothing on his face or in his body language told Aizawa anything one way or another.
As the video came to an end, L approached Light. His index finger hovered just before his lips, watching Light with quiet contemplation of his own. “So what do you make of this, Light-Kun? Figure anything out?”
Light leaned against the arm of his seat, massaging between and under his eyes, biting back a groan between his teeth. “This video is so mediocre. Is the poor quality of these tapes making me sick because it goes against my profile of Kira, or is it that terrible…?” He uncovered his eyes, staring at the gothic font of the name ‘Kira’ frozen on the screen. “I almost pity the real Kira. This is totally ruining his image.”
“What do you know of Kira’s image?” L asked.
“I’m a college student fresh out of a recession. I’m no stranger to positive opinions of Kira and what he’s trying to do. This video goes against most, if not all, of them.” Light pressed his hand flat against his chair, pushing himself to his feet and crossing his arms. “I told my father a bit of my personal thoughts on this fake, but looking at this, I have a better understanding of what might be going on here. This is about more than just tarnishing Kira’s reputation. This fake wants something from him, and we might be able to use it to our advantage.”
Ryuk cackled with enough unforeseen force Aizawa almost jumped out of his skin. “He’s right on the money!” The Shinigami floated over to Light, flipping upside down with his head beside his. “I like this one. Can we keep him around?”
…I’m in trouble.
L seemed to realize the same. Aizawa couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but something changed in his voice—in how he carried himself. “I think you’re exactly right about that. With the way this message is worded, it’s almost begging Kira to come out and say something,” he said. “He has to if he wants to have any hope of salvaging his reputation.”
Light chuckled, a playful smirk on the edge of his lips. “So you knew, Ryuzaki? You were testing me?”
“It wasn’t a test. If I was the only one who suspected we could take advantage of the fake Kira, then it wouldn’t be persuasive,” L said simply. There was a fondness there as well. “With you also thinking the same thing, the theory is greatly strengthened. You really are a great help, Light-Kun.”
Light rolled his eyes. “You planned to take advantage of the situation, no matter what I said. If I hadn’t suggested it, your suspicion against me would have only increased. And if I don’t fall for it, then it strengthens your theory.” His smirk softened into a smile, and Aizawa noticed a faint rosy tint on Light’s cheeks. “Nice thinking.”
“I’m glad you think so.” L’s eyes raked over Light, lingering there a beat too long. Aizawa could feel the shift in the air between them, and he couldn’t shake the feeling he was in the room for something he shouldn’t be. L must have realized that too, because he turned back toward the task force only a second later. “Then it’s decided. First, we must stop the fake Kira. They’re most likely on Kira’s side, and not very bright. They may respond to a message from the real Kira. If we are wrong about them being on the side of Kira, then it’s meaningness, but it’s still worth a try. We need to be thinking about how to deal with the real Kira, but we must focus on this first.”
“Impressive, Ryuzaki,” Light said. “I was just thinking that was the best option.”
“And for this, Light-Kun…” L looked back over his shoulder, causing Light’s breath to catch in his throat. “I want you to play the part of the real Kira.”
Light’s eyes widened. “M…Me?”
L nodded. “Yes, it should be easy with your abilities.” The playfulness in his demeanor vanished, and he became deadly serious. The Shinigami hovering over his shoulder was more than enough of a reminder why. “We don’t have much time. Will you please write up a message from the real Kira that we can use during tonight’s news?”
“I would be happy to, Ryuzaki. My only concern is if there is a chance Kira will make a statement of his own, we would be sacrificing valuable information.” Light’s clenched fist shook at his side. “But I’m not going to wait for Kira if there’s something I can do to help.”
“Excellent.” L snapped his fingers, more of a fidget than anything, but it got the task force’s undivided attention all the same. “Matsuda-San, I need a high-quality ‘Kira’ image that will make him look real.”
Matsuda practically flew over to his computer, discarding the charging cord into the tangled pile and opening some kind of application. “On it!”
L watched Matsuda until he was certain there would be no trouble, but then turned his attention to the couch. “Aizawa-San, prepare the dubbing machine.”
Aizawa blinked. He supposed that made sense, but… “Where are we going to use the dubbing machine to get decent audio? The closet?”
L pressed his finger under his chin. “Yes, I suppose that is where we would have to record on short notice.” He didn’t ponder that for long. His intense stare momentarily fell onto Ide, but it didn’t stay there once he noticed Ide going through documents, his mind completely focused on that task. L seemed to decide on leaving him be and instead turned his attention to Soichiro, finding him leaned against the door overlooking the balcony. “Yagami-San, contact all the TV stations and reserve a ten-minute block every hour starting at seven.”
Soichiro didn’t turn. “Understood.”
Nothing else was said between them as everyone split off into the own individual tasks. Aizawa dug through a relatively new equipment box in the empty closet to figure out how to put it together. Ryuk flew over to Aizawa and landed across from him inside the closet, his knees bent almost up to his chin to fit into the small space.
Ryuzaki wanted to broadcast this message by 19:00. This was going to be interesting, because…
A long claw poked against his forehead. Aizawa looked up and found Ryuk staring at him, angling his head all the way to the side. “You’re staring into space,” Ryuk said. “Whatcha thinking about?”
Aizawa frowned, his eyebrows raising. They were alone, but only in the sense there was no one actively in the room housing the closet. The suite L had booked for himself was spacious, but only as much as a hotel room could be. If he were to open his mouth, anyone could overhear.
Ryuk understood that, but that didn’t give him reason to care. The Shinigami groaned, leaning to the side with his back against one of the walls. “Right. You can’t talk.” He groaned again, louder and more dramatically this time, pulling his knees up to rest under his chin. “Is this what you humans usually do all day? Waiting for things to happen?”
Aizawa let out a breath through his nose despite himself, the closest thing to a chuckle Ryuk would get from him. I guess you could put it like that. He started humming absently—the same melody that had long since become the only thing capable of calming his nerves, giving him the presence of mind to focus on the task at hand.
He kept the ticking of the clock in the back of his mind as he worked, adjusting how he sat on the floor so the small dubbing machine was sitting in his lap. “Would’ve been nice if the box mentioned there was some assembly required.” He should teach Yumi and Nozomu how to assemble things like these. Technology didn’t seem to be slowing down, so while the knowledge could become dated, it didn’t hurt to know. It could even be useful.
Once he had the machine functional, the microphone and the pop filter came second nature to get in place and working as they should be. He had used an older microphone similar to this one not long ago, and even with the drastic changes in some things, microphones seemed to be relatively the same.
He looked up only to find Ryuk laying flat on the ground, his upper body phasing through the wall to listen in on the conversation Light and L must be having on the other side. I wonder what they’re talking about…? It was none of his business, but that did nothing to detract from his developing curiosity. Ryuk’s going to be insufferable about this if it’s anything interesting.
“And…” Aizawa tested the audio one last time, nudging Ryuk further into the other room to give him some space inside the closet. “Done.” He set the headphones off to the side on top of the machine, pulling himself to his feet on straining knees. “Ide, I’m done. Need any help with…?”
He trailed off as he stepped into the main room, met with only silence and the humming of one of the lightbulbs in the lamp on the side table. Aizawa turned the lamp off to quiet the noise, plunging the room into darkness save for the faint light coming from the windows. He looked around for any sign of his partner, the stillness only making more apparent the frantic thump of his heart and the desperate, shallow breaths caught in his chest when he found nothing.
“Ide?”
“Here.” Ryuk poked at a piece of paper on the table, urging Aizawa to come over and examine it. Air came in easier as he read over its contents, distinctly in Ide’s handwriting.
“Matsuda and I finished our tasks. We’re out getting lunch for everyone and taking a detour to bring food to Mogi at headquarters. I should be back in an hour or two. Matsuda said he will be back this evening after ‘blowing off some steam.’”
That was reasonable… Nothing abnormal about that. Yet Aizawa wasn’t sure he would be fully at ease until Ide was back here, safe and sound. Not until the fake Kira was caught and dealt with. If the imposter has the eyes, our fake police badges won’t keep him safe.
He ran his hand over the paper. The ink was fresh, not enough to smudge, but enough he could estimate Ide and Matsuda hadn't been gone for very long. Fifteen minutes, maybe. That explains where they are, but… He noticed something else about the note—someone who wasn’t mentioned. Where is Soichiro?
“Superintendent?” He walked around the empty room, searching for any type of clue. It was irrational, but his concern for Ide extended to the others as well. He wasn’t sure he could relax until he had them in his line of sight. “Are you here?”
The answer came from an unexpected place. Aizawa turned to the balcony behind sliding glass doors, and as his eyes wandered downward, the edge of a familiar shoe peeked into his line of sight alongside part of the owner’s leg. Huh? Aizawa slid open the door, his brows furrowing when he found the state the Superintendent was in.
Soichiro’s exhaustion was a familiar sight, but there was something different about seeing him like this. Sitting on a pillow on the floor of the balcony, a notebook in hand and a pen in the other. The glassy, distant look hadn’t faded from his eyes as he read the same page over and over. If not for subtle movements and uneven breathing, Aizawa could have made the mistake of believing he had fallen asleep.
“Superintendent?” Aizawa stepped further onto the balcony, closing the door behind him. “What are you doing?”
It took Soichiro just a moment too long to respond. He didn’t look up from the notebook. “I’m clearing my head,” he said. “I won’t be any help in the case if I have other things on my mind.”
“You couldn’t do that inside? Or in the chair?” Aizawa gestured to the piece of furniture Soichiro had pointedly ignored, shivering involuntarily from the wind blowing against his face, making the already cool air even colder. “Is something going on?”
Soichiro managed a small chuckle. “I probably look ridiculous on the floor, don’t I?” He finally looked up, noticing the slight tinge of red at the tips of Aizawa’s ears from the cold. “But the wind is blowing directly in your face, and that’s not exactly pleasant. The glass railings block the wind.”
That was actually a fair point. Aizawa sat down beside him, taking the second pillow off the balcony chair to do so without dirtying his suit or torturing his tailbone. “And why couldn’t you do this inside?”
“It was too loud,” Soichiro said. “I… needed to go somewhere quiet. Or as quiet as it can be.”
Too loud? Aizawa tried to think of what could have caused that. He was accustomed to the unending noise from a Shinigami, and even that had drowned out into white noise. Other than that… the room had been silent enough Ide and Matsuda could slip away and Aizawa didn’t notice, despite not being particularly focused on his own task. What could he be talking about? One look at Soichiro’s downcast expression told him that was an inquiry Soichiro would rather not answer.
He decided to change tactics. “What are you thinking about?”
“About…” Soichiro took a breath, but it sounded strained. “Kira.”
Aizawa moved closer, pulling his knees just a bit closer to his chest. “About Kira?”
Soichiro nodded. “You must have noticed it too, haven’t you? All this talk about Kira being passive, trying to make changes to the world without actively forcing his will… It doesn’t like up with this insane, unfeeling monster the higher-ups paint him to be.” He stared down at the notebook in his hands, pushing up his glasses that had fallen down his nose. “I don’t know Kira’s motivations, but even long before the attack on Sakura TV, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. That wasn’t Kira, and everyone knew it, despite the imposter’s claims otherwise.”
Aizawa faltered. That wasn’t what he expected, not at all. Even so, a fragment of hope blossomed in his chest he hadn’t dared to dream of. Could it be…? “Are you sympathetic to Kira?” Soichiro stiffened, and Aizawa was quick to clarify. “Not necessarily of what he’s done, but of him as a person?”
“I don’t know,” Soichiro whispered. “I really don’t know.” He leaned his head back against the wall, before turning just slightly to face him. “How would you define pure evil?”
“Pure evil?” Aizawa rested his arms on his knees. “I never thought about it. It’s more of an instinctive thing, I guess. The people who harm others with no remorse or consideration for the wellbeing of others…” he chuckled, but it rang hollow. “I would add that there is no world where they could see the error of their ways, but is that better or worse than someone who knows what they’re doing is terrible but chooses to do it anyway?”
“I guess it depends,” Soichiro said. “There is no one metric to determine what is pure good and evil. No matter how hard we try to find one, we will never find something that doesn’t exist. Because… there is no such thing as pure evil.” He leaned forward to sit up, but he could only stare down at the notebook. He kept coming back to something written there. “I don’t believe that exists in a person. Not anymore. The real evil is the power to kill people.”
What? “The power to kill people…?” Aizawa’s thoughts wandered to the Death Note hidden inside his desk. There wasn’t much he could do to argue with Soichiro’s assessment, but he wasn’t sure he agreed with it. In the hands of a Shinigami, it was used to harvest human lifespans to continue their lives, the same way mankind would use tools to slaughter livestock for food.
But Soichiro didn’t say the power to kill. He said the power to kill people. There was no real comparison to make. And that… his grip tightened on his own leg. He really didn’t know how to respond to that.
“Think about the situation we’re in now,” Soichiro said. “Two people were given the power to kill, and look what they’ve done with it. Kira intends to scare the people in power straight, and even if I can understand his goal… this isn’t the way it should be. As for ‘Not-Kira’…” he set the notebook aside to look down at the streets, once bustling with life but now almost devoid of it. “All it took was one night, and the simple act of speaking freely became impossible. Ryuzaki’s life is on the line, all because of one person with too much power. No one should be able to accomplish that.”
For a moment, Aizawa didn’t know what to say. The silence hung heavy between them until he could find his words. “You’re right. No one should have that power.” He looked over at Soichiro again. The bags under his eyes had become darker. No amount of rest had done him any good. “You’ve been thinking a lot about Kira, haven’t you? This isn’t a new development. Is it because Ryuzaki suspects Light?”
“That’s how it started,” Soichiro said. “But lately, it became more than that.”
He flipped over to the next page of his notebook and allowed Aizawa to see the contents. A list of every single one of his victims, alongside the dates and times. There was something else too, that Aizawa noticed. Next to every name was a list of each victim’s crimes and misdeeds, and small notes in Soichiro’s own handwriting.
“Kira’s MO paints the picture of someone who has suffered,” Soichiro explained. “Killing those who harm the vulnerable, oppress others based on factors they can’t control, commit intentional malpractice or corruption in the medical field…” he trailed off, looking down at the page. Why did he seem so melancholy? There was something else there too, but Aizawa couldn’t figure out what it was or why. Bitterness? Resentment? “That was the focus of yesterday’s batch, taking out major players on company boards. Major pharmaceutical companies were hit the hardest so far—the ones that don’t make cures, only expensive symptom management to keep people reliant.”
Aizawa sucked in a breath through his teeth. He forgot the newest batch had been set for yesterday. That might have been bad timing… But those names were written weeks ago. He couldn’t do anything about it now. “I guess that confirms the theory Kira can control time and date of his kills in advance,” he said. “He can’t be ignoring this and acting like everything’s normal.”
Soichiro nodded solemnly. “You’re right. If this was a move to prove to the world that he only targets people in power, it would have been more beneficial to deviate from the schedule.” He heaved a sigh. “Everything Kira has done, he did it by killing people. I can never forgive that. But looking at this…” he flipped to the next page. More names, and more crimes of the deceased. “When Kira is captured, he will be executed. Is that the right thing to do?”
He wasn’t talking to the Superintendent of the NPA anymore, was he? No. He hadn’t been for any part of this conversation. He was talking to Soichiro Yagami, the man. He hadn’t done that in a long time.
It would be easy to jump on Soichiro’s inner turmoil for his own advantage, but even the thought made Aizawa ill. He couldn’t exploit someone like that. “What do you mean?”
Soichiro tensed. He didn’t seem sure of himself either. “The punishment for Kira using his power to kill others is for us to use our power to kill him. Does that sound right? What does that teach people? Only the government is allowed to take lives?” He carded his fingers through his hair, looking down at the world so far below. “If real evil is the power to kill people, the natural conclusion would be for that to extend to our government. No one should have that kind of power.”
Every thought Aizawa had barely managed to suppress clawed its way back to the surface. They were always there, something itching in the back of his mind, each one a painful reminder of sleepless nights he thought he had buried. He wasn’t sure he would be able to this time. “Superintendent, I…”
Soichiro shook himself, as though he remembered who he was talking to. “I’m sorry. That’s a sensitive topic, isn’t it?” He dug his fingers into his scalp, almost clawing at it and causing his hair to come further undone. “I must come to my senses.”
“No—!” Aizawa stopped himself, the rise in volume making Soichiro turn in surprise. “I mean… Ide’s not here. We don’t need to be careful with that topic.” He tried to get himself to relax, his hand brushing against the floor. The cold of what felt like concrete helped ground him. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” He stared down at his shoes. “I’m sorry about earlier. You’ve got a lot on your mind. I shouldn’t have gotten on your case about Light.”
“Don’t be ashamed,” Soichiro said. He cracked a faint smile. “You being willing to ask those questions, even of your superiors, is one of the things I appreciate about you, Aizawa.” He got to his feet, leaning forward with his forearms on the railing. “You were right. If Light hadn’t jumped…” he chuckled bitterly. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. As long as Ryuzaki suspects him, nothing I could say or do would keep him away.”
Aizawa pulled himself from the floor, joining Soichiro against the railing. The wind direction had changed enough he could do so without issue. “You said that earlier… I suspected it was something like that,” he said. “I dismissed it because I couldn’t figure out why he would go that far.”
Soichiro shook his head. “Some things I… I can’t tell you. All I can say is Light inherited some things from me that I wish more than anything he hadn’t. And because he got it from me, I know nothing I could do would keep him out of danger.” He sighed, looking up at the skies that had only grown darker. “You would understand that better than most. Yumi should be at that age where you know if she takes after you or Eriko.”
“She definitely takes after me.” Aizawa laughed softly. “You could make an argument she takes after Ide, at least when it comes to taste in books.” Hopefully not in clothes. He smiled to himself. Even by Ide’s own admission, some of his clothing choices could be questionable at best.
Soichiro chuckled. “He has been in her life since she was born, so that makes some sense. But that means you understand my conflict.” His smile stayed there a moment longer, but it slowly fell as he came back to the present. “If it’s any solace, if the roles were reversed, and you were bringing Yumi on the case, I would have those same questions.” He pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself. “To tell you the truth, having Light on this case wouldn’t be nearly so stressful if not for…”
“Him being a suspect?”
“…Yes.” He turned his eyes anywhere that wasn’t Aizawa, which ended up being in the opposite direction. “I shouldn’t be so worried, or thinking about any of these things. I’m supposed to be the one putting together Ukita’s funeral arrangements. They’ve largely fallen onto you, right?”
“I try not to think about it.” His index and middle finger twitched with the phantom feeling of a cigarette between them. God, he did not prepare himself to talk about this when he came onto the balcony. “I made the arrangements the day after it happened. If everything goes according to plan, the wake will be tomorrow night and the funeral the next day,” he said. “Everything is in accordance with Ukita’s wishes. Well… what I could guess of Ukita’s wishes. He didn’t exactly make any plans himself, since…”
The body in the forensics lab flashed behind his eyes, burning a deeper hole for itself in his memory every time he closed them. And the most frightening thing, the thing that scared him to his core, was that it was never the same dead body meeting him there. It was Ukita. It was always Ukita… but that body was withering and rotting away into something unrecognizable. The skin had become discolored by livor mortis and he didn’t know how long he had left until that would peel away to reveal the flesh and bone underneath, or the state of his lungs from his smoking—
His hand curled around the railing. “It shouldn’t be like this. Ukita should still be alive and have a long life ahead of him, not be cremated at twenty-six because some pathetic monster wants to murder innocent people—and for what?!” He threw his hand out toward the city. “He should be out there, spending time with friends, getting the chance to meet someone. He told me he wanted to have a family one day.” His teeth clenched with enough force it hurt. “Even in my memories, all I see is Ukita dead and alone in the lab. And I don’t even know why.”
He didn’t realize he was weeping until he felt a hand against the middle of his back. His grip on the railing had become so tight his knuckles shone bone-white. He couldn’t move, his body wracked with such violent shaking that his eyes remained glued to the pavement far below.
Soichiro knew that, and it was that quiet understanding that allowed him to ignore the formality of their jobs or the distance in their ranks. His gentle hand moved from Aizawa’s back to his other shoulder, almost holding him as if he were a child.
“I wish I had an answer for you,” Soichiro said softly. “Would knowing why it happened bring you some closure?” Aizawa nodded, earning a broken half-chuckle in response. “You and Ide are alike in that regard. I guess that tells me what I’m in for.” He pulled Aizawa a bit closer, leaning on the railing beside him. “We don’t know the answer yet. Even with our theories, none of that will give us the truth.” He tried to offer a smile, even if it didn’t touch his eyes. “But we will find out. We’re going to find out once we catch this imposter. I may be conflicted on my feelings about Kira, but the person who killed Ukita… I’m going to get them if it’s the last thing I do. Ukita and everyone else will receive justice.”
“At least Kira makes it easy to find out why,” Aizawa said. “Agree with it or not, there is a reason.” He tried not to think about Ryuk’s uncharacteristic silence. Was the conversation between Light and L so interesting that he had wandered off to eavesdrop? “I don’t know if I’m biased, but any potential motive for the fake keeps getting worse. I’m currently leaning towards a cultist using Kira as a justification to commit any acts of violence they want, or an extremist who hates Kira and will do anything to sway public opinion.”
Soichiro shrugged. “I wouldn’t be surprised by either of those options. After this case, I’m not sure anything will surprise me.” He paused, turning around just enough to see behind him. “Hm? Oh, Ryuzaki.” He released his hold on Aizawa, clearing his throat and with a flit of his eyes down at himself, making sure he had some semblance of being put-together. “Was Light able to help you?”
Aizawa glanced over his shoulder, finding L standing in the doorway with his head tilted to the side. Ryuk was standing behind him, the shadow of the overcast skies causing his eyes to take on their usual glow, one that had no business floating over L’s head. But L paid no mind to it, looking between the two of them and the paper held between his fingertips. “Yes, Light-Kun was an incredible help. He was able to accomplish exactly what I needed from him and more.” He rested one hand in the pocket of his jeans, smiling somewhat. “If all goes according to plan, we will be able to broadcast tonight.”
“Good.” It doesn’t matter what Light said. Aizawa shoved his hands in his pockets as his headed inside, stepping out of the way so Soichiro could go in first. “The sooner we deal with this imposter, the better.” He froze as he tried to take another step, but was stopped by L holding up the script in his face, grabbing his wrist and placing the paper in his hand. Aizawa bit down on his tongue to prevent a pained hiss. “What? Why are you giving this to me?”
“Well, you were the one who set up the dubbing machine. Aren’t you?” L’s hand was still firmly on his wrist, his eyes boring into the spot he was gripping. Aizawa’s heart skipped a beat. Are you looking for something? “I was hoping you would dub it over.” As if to prove his point, he nudged the paper in Aizawa’s hand closer to him. “Here you are.”
“Right, uh…” He glanced down at the paper, then back up at the detective. Dubbing over this message is a risk, but there’s only one reason I would refuse. L knows that. “Why me? I’ll do it, but it feels like a strange request. Wouldn’t it be better for Light to dub over the message if he wrote it?”
L nodded. “Yes, you may be technically right about that. Light-Kun was detached from the incident, but I sincerely believe he could channel the necessary emotion on command.” He pressed his thumb to his lips, his head turned off to the side, but his eyes had fallen to the floor. “I overheard some of your conversation with Yagami-San, and I believe you wouldn’t need to be acting. All you would have to do is speak your mind. That’s what we need.”
“I see…” Aizawa nodded to himself, and to L. “Yeah. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you. I have faith it won’t take you very long.” His hand finally let go of Aizawa’s wrist, resting instead on his shoulder. He paused there, before continuing to walk past him toward the table with Ide’s note. He stared at it for a few seconds, but didn’t comment as he returned to the bedroom. “Don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything. I will be analyzing the camera footage from Sakura TV with Light-Kun.”
“Let me know if you find anything,” Aizawa called after him. “Ide and I couldn’t find anything, so we’re working to get the footage of the surrounding buildings.” I’m almost certain the fake was hiding in one of the nearby buildings. All they would have to do was get inside, and they could have a vantage point to see their victims. It wouldn’t be easy, but Ryuk mentioned Shinigami Eyes improve vision, and if they had binoculars…
He wanted to go down to the probable locations and test the theory himself. If he could make Ryuk give him an estimate of how much the Eyes improved someone’s vision, it shouldn’t be too hard to guess where the fake was hiding, and he would be one step closer to putting them down. But it wouldn’t be easy when the task force needed everyone now more than ever—he couldn’t go to those locations, knowing what he was looking for, without first thinking of an explanation why.
That wasn’t what he should be focusing on right now. He read over the script clutched in his hand, turning on a flashlight in the closet as he sat down to record the audio. How the hell am I going to do this?
Don’t worry about that. What did Light write? He brought the flashlight closer to the paper, squinting slightly to read the small print until his eyes could adjust. He couldn’t tell if he was exhausted from the third night on barely two hours of sleep, or if his eyesight was failing and he needed glasses, but he had to close his eyes to fight off the oncoming headache like a heartbeat behind and under his eyebrows, down into the bone. The words were blurry even as he tried to picture them in his mind’s eye.
“I don’t have time for this…” Aizawa muttered. He pressed his thumb and forefinger into the notch above his eyes, pushing harder until it felt like he was being stabbed in the brain. He inched his thumb just a bit closer to his temple, finding just the right spot on the muscle for that sharp pain to become momentary relief. “There.” That should get him through what he had to do. He could grab a coffee and ask Watari for some painkillers once he was done.
He lingered on that thought for a second. He could almost feel L’s spine and ribs in his hand, and the sensation of every bone. Why did Watari have a bag full of medications ready at a moment’s notice?
A hand wrapped around his heart and another around his throat, squeezing just enough to warn him of the pain if he continued down that path. No matter what the answer may be, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t get himself together and deal with this imposter for good.
He looked down at the script, and the words were clear, giving him the chance to assess its contents. L was right to believe Light’s profile of Kira would be invaluable. The script was spot on in some areas, but something Aizawa noticed almost immediately was Light’s passivity, prodding to get information from the fake without giving away that he didn’t know the answers.
As a detective, this was perfection. But as Kira and actively pissed off… this could help him. It could help him a lot. If he did this right, did what L asked, he could make sure it differed from anything that could be deduced from the statement he made. This dubbing machine was different from what he used as well, so there should be no way for anyone to recognize his voice.
Ryuk remained floating over Aizawa’s head, reading the script alongside him. “This feels like a waste of time,” he said. “I know the others don’t know this, but didn’t you set your message to air tonight?”
Aizawa quietly nodded. He had bribed Ryuk with a bag of apples to drop the tape at Demegawa’s doorstep in the night, not Sakura TV where Mogi was checking the mail. There was no postmark, and no fingerprints on the envelope or the actual tapes.
That was one less thing to worry about, and it gave him the freedom to focus on this. Aizawa tried to make some of the tension leave his shoulders, slipping on the headphones and turning on the microphone. “All right. Let’s do this.”
OoOoO
Watari’s voice came from L’s computer even before the ‘L’ emblem had loaded on the screen. “Ryuzaki. Something is happening on Sakura TV.”
Aizawa spun around to face the computer, as had the rest of the task force, with varying degrees of alarm. And in the case of Matsuda and Ide, their alarm was paired with visible agitation. Matsuda clenched his jaw, but Aizawa could hear a frustrated groan slip free. “Again?! Do you think Not-Kira sent another message?”
“I don’t see why they would,” Aizawa said. He looked down at his watch. 17:30. He had to keep the smile off his face. Good. He had planned the timing on the assumption that if L made his own broadcast, it would play at 18:00 as he had done in the past. Sakura TV hadn’t said anything about receiving the tapes, but as much as he had wanted confirmation, that was part of his listed instructions.
Light and L looked at one another, diving for the remote so quickly their hands landed on one another’s instead of the remote. Neither took a moment to process that, grabbing onto it together and turning on the television on the other side of the room, already set to the channel they needed.
“We have startling news.” Aizawa could see a sheen of cold sweat on the broadcaster’s forehead. “Reacting to the video broadcast here on Sakura TV the other day, another Kira has appeared claiming to be the real one. This morning at 4:00, two audio cassette tapes were dropped off at the doorstep of Director Hitoshi Demegawa. Despite cameras surrounding the property, no one could be seen entering or exiting the premises. There was nothing at the door one moment, and a paper bag containing the tapes was there the next.”
Matsuda took a step back away from the television, closer to Soichiro. “What? That’s not—That’s not what we told them to say, right?”
“No… It wasn’t.” Soichiro crossed his arms. He seemed to be holding his breath, color draining from his skin. “And they specified these were audio cassette tapes, but we did what we could to match the original tapes.”
“In the first audio tape, a request was made for each television station starting with Sakura TV to broadcast this message from the true Kira. Other networks have been contacted at this time. There was also an order not to inform the police, claiming not to know what this alleged fake was capable of. Any contact with the police could risk countless lives.”
It wasn’t a lie. Aizawa wouldn’t deny he had his own reasons to not want the police to know, but he didn’t want to imagine what the fake would do if someone could be traced aiding the police. They hadn’t yet ruled out the fake working within Sakura TV. It was too great of a risk, and even if someone wanted to claim his words were a threat, how could they be when it was true?
He couldn’t ponder that any longer as the video began playing in a black screen floating in the corner of the news broadcast.
“I am Kira. I never intended to introduce myself in this way, but the current situation has left me no choice but to respond. There will be people who doubt my claim or the legitimacy of my statement, but though I have the power, I will not use innocent lives to confirm my identity. It doesn’t matter if the world believes me, because the person I am speaking to would know the truth—the person responsible for the murders committed on April 18th.”
“No way…” Matsuda breathed. “He really responded.”
“It does seem that way,” Ide said. “We knew he avoids killing innocent people, but I find it interesting he didn’t create an emblem either.”
Aizawa had considered an emblem similar to what the fake had done. But by the time he was finished with the audio, the clock had struck 3:00, he was halfway through researching everything he could on warmongers for the next batch, and Nozomu was fussy all night for reasons he had yet to figure out. He had a hard enough time doing the audio and had to accept the only recording without Nozomu’s crying in the background, even if it wasn’t the best. His son was a higher priority than something like an emblem he didn’t care about in the first place.
“I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know your reasons for acting, but I don’t need to know those things to know exactly the kind of person you are. There is nothing more vile than murdering innocent people in a senseless massacre, then having the audacity to force an ultimatum with no reason to believe you’ll uphold your end and spare the other. If the Director-General or L have done any wrong that would warrant their deaths, that will come in due time, but speaking or working against a serial killer is not a crime, nor does it deserve the death penalty. To think this horrible tragedy could have been enacted with my will in mind is something I never want to imagine. So, if you truly are a misguided follower, you are to give up your killing power and turn yourself in to the police. If you do not, you will be treated as the enemy you are.”
There was no point dancing around the risks. If blackmail was ever in the cards, it would happen no matter what Aizawa did to escape it. The only way to avoid angering the fake or making them push harder would be to give in to their demands, and that was something he would never be willing to do. If he was damned either way, what reason did he have not to say exactly what he thought of this person? And if this drove them into hiding… then that was even better for Aizawa alone to deal with them.
“Speaking to the public now, I do have one request. I have seen many sources online citing this imposter as a speculated fake or a second Kira. I would like to humbly request you not associate this person with the name of Kira. You may have whatever opinion you want of me, and you will not be harmed for it—the rights and safety of the people are my biggest concern—but I would appreciate the crimes committed by a bad actor not be associated with my goals. I do not want to risk any further harm coming to those who choose to support me, and not this imposter. No one will be harmed should they refuse to separate us. If you want to say murder is murder, we are both killers with a similar power, and should be labeled as such, then that is your right. I will not do anything against you. The innocent lives lost on April 18th are unacceptable, and should this bad actor not turn themselves in, I will make sure they see justice with the police.”
He considered scrapping this part. He had no right to ask anything of the people, but he kept it in mostly out of curiosity. The public were the ones to name Kira, and it had made identification in the investigation much easier. What name would they come up with for this fake? It had to be better than the titles and labels in headquarters.
“To the detectives working this case, I doubt this imposter will turn themselves in, but I want to apologize on their behalf. This was never supposed to happen.”
...
”I…”
Misa couldn’t take her eyes off the screen for even a moment, even if there was no face for the person she so desperately wanted to find. He didn’t need a face for his words and feelings to shine through the distortions over his voice, and all of it…
“No. That can’t be right…” Kira responded, but he was telling her to turn herself in? Give up the Death Note? Misa shook her head. Her breathing picked up the more Kira’s scathing words played in her head. “No… He knows what would happen if I did that. He knows they would kill me! Why is he…?!”
A large, bony hand rested itself on Misa’s back, the size managing to reach either shoulder. “Misa. Kira has given you his answer, and I don’t see how he will change his mind,” Rem said. “If he wants nothing to do with you, you should take some time to lie low.”
“He doesn’t hate me. Right, Rem?” Misa looked up at Rem, her bottom lip quivering as she waited for an answer. She wasn’t sure she could breathe. “Right?”
Rem hesitated, looking between the television and the young woman on the bed. “I don’t know. I don’t see why he would demand you turn yourself in to the police unless he was deeply enraged,” the Shinigami said. How could she stay so calm? “He may not hate you, Misa, but if he is angry enough to want you dead, that does not matter. He has decided you are the enemy.”
“No… No!” Misa’s hand grabbed on her hair, clawing her fingers through and undoing her pigtails, causing blonde strands to fall over her face. “I—I know he doesn’t do things like that, but that was just to get his attention! That was the only way I could think of. I wouldn’t do that if I knew he’d hate me for it!” She dove behind her, digging through the box of items not yet fully unpacked. “Where’s my camera? I know I brought it. I still have a copy of the last tape. I’ll just change the audio. It will be proof that it’s me.”
Rem frowned from behind her. “What are you going to do?”
“Obviously, I’m going to send Kira a reply!” Misa snapped. “He must not have understood I want to help him!” That had to be it. He brought up the idea she was his follower, so it must have crossed his mind, but he was always so kind to those with good intentions. He must have gotten the wrong idea about her.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she found her camera under the bed, laying on the floor beside her cat, Kuro, who had taken to sleeping there. She couldn’t tell if he could see Rem, but he always seemed on edge whenever the Shinigami was around. He must be able to at least sense something.
“Thanks, Kuro.” She pulled the camera away from him, and Kuro only responded with a dissatisfied sound at being moved. Misa clutched the camera in her hands, looking over her shoulder at where the broadcast had ended, changing the channel to see Kira’s message playing there too. Maybe if she listened to it again, she would figure out where he misunderstood. “What should I say…?”
Maybe she could use this. Even if Kira thought she was the enemy, he would want to find her. He said as much in his message. She was stronger than he was—she could handle anything he threw her way. But it couldn’t come to that. She had his attention, but now she had to make sure he understood what she wanted.
She needed to meet him. No matter what.
...
“…Huh.” Light was the first to break the silence. “I did not need to hold back as much as I did.” His fist hovered just below his chin, a steady smile on his face and a spark in his eyes. “You can hear it, too. He was restraining himself.” He let out a breath, but his eyes never left the screen. “I had considered the possibility, but I never thought Kira would actually respond.”
Aizawa sighed. I would have appreciated more time to do it over again, but this should at least buy us some time. He dug his nails into his palm to steel his nerves, daring to turn around to see Ide’s reaction to this. But it wasn’t the eyes of his partner that he found.
It was L’s, and yet it was barely him at all. The detective was practically grinning from ear to ear, so intense it had carved itself onto his face. His posture was rigid and unmoving, that if not for the twitch of his finger against his bottom lip, he could be mistaken for a statue, his entire being consumed by the screen reflecting in his eyes. It wasn’t a glint of life, but of a raw fascination and delight, and something else, something darker, that Aizawa wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.
Matsuda’s brows furrowed, glancing between everyone until he followed Aizawa’s line of sight to see what he was looking at. L’s expression only seemed to confuse him further. “I… think I’m missing something.” He rubbed the back if his neck awkwardly. “What was the point of telling Not-Kira to turn themselves in if he knew they wouldn’t do it?”
“It was probably a test,” Soichiro said. “And to demonstrate just how strongly he is against this imposter.” He took the remote from where Light and L both had let it slip from their grasp, changing the channel to play the message again. He hesitated slightly, staring at the blank corner of the screen. “I don’t blame Kira for being so upset. What I want to know is what will come now if not the fake Kira turning themselves in.”
Light stepped closer to his father, joining the semi-circle everyone else had fallen into. “That depends on if the imposter believes this is the real Kira. If the report on Sakura TV is to be believed, Kira didn’t kill anyone to prove his identity, but he delivered the tapes in a way the fake could recognize…” he crossed his arms, almost identical to Soichiro’s posture. “This will be when we find out if the fake endorses Kira or committed the attack on Sakura TV as an act of aggression against him. If they want to help Kira, this response would be the last thing they want. They will frantically try to do damage control and send another message as soon as possible.”
That sounds about right. “And if they’re the enemy?”
“Then we’re going to be seeing some demands, and we may even see signs of blackmail.” Light chuckled, turning up the volume on the Kira message. “In any case, I’m certain they will send another message, and therefore, give us more chances to catch them.”
“I agree,” Ide said. “But we shouldn’t celebrate just yet. We should get the evidence from Sakura TV and call off our own ‘Kira’ message.” He gestured to the broadcast behind him. “This message gets a stronger point across, and it has undeniably saved Ryuzaki’s life.” He briefly made eye contact with Aizawa, the warmth giving Aizawa a sense of relief at the unspoken message: “Good job.”
Matsuda suddenly beamed as the piece clicked into his head. “You’re right! Kira rejecting the ultimatum means the higher-ups shouldn’t push for Ryuzaki to show himself. The only reason Not-Kira would continue with the plan is if they were the enemy, and would have killed both either way.” He paused, freezing in his excited gestures. “I should not sound so excited about that part.”
Soichiro rested a hand on Matsuda’s shoulder. “No, but that is one less thing to worry about. Whatever happens, there’s nothing we can do about it now. At least Ryuzaki is safe…” he breathed out through his nose, then took a deep breath in. “I will call Sakura TV to get those tapes, Ryuzaki. And I will cancel our own planned broadcast.”
L only responded with an absent hum of acknowledgement to the statements directed towards him, their words the furthest thing from his mind, putting into question if he even heard them. His smile did not falter, even as his legs moved one in front of the other, closer to the television. His eyes remained transfixed on the screen.
“Well, then… It’s nice to meet you, Kira.”
Notes:
This chapter was supposed to be out a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I got struck twice by our local neurotoxin creature and spent the last few weeks having anaphylactic reactions and unable to reliably use my limbs. Sorry about that.
Chapter 17
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The public named them Akuma.
If not for his restless apprehension that left him bouncing his leg against the ground or pacing the new hotel room they called their headquarters every second he wasn’t given a task to preoccupy his mind, Aizawa may have found some amusement or fascination in the speed at which the public obliged to his request of separation. As he had expected, his denouncement of the fake and the confirmation he was not responsible was met with widespread relief—support for Kira had increased beyond the point he estimated before, whereas Akuma had become the true public enemy.
There were ethical dilemmas to consider with this revelation about his influence. He wasn’t certain how he could have provided evidence for his claims, but the lack of a need to was… concerning. He supposed he had his own passivity up to this point to thank, leaving even the rest of the task force convinced Akuma was an imposter long before any established confirmation. It could have been impossible to prove otherwise.
But he wasn’t lingering on that, and he wouldn’t until he was certain the newly appointed Akuma was no longer a threat. He didn’t want to leave headquarters for a second unless something important enough gave him reason—he needed to know the precise moment Akuma responded to his demand.
Because they would. He and Ide had no doubt of that. For one reason or another, whether to refuse or comply, Kira would be informed of the decision Akuma had made. Mogi would find the response somewhere, eventually.
Aizawa grimaced, thinking about it. He wouldn’t have put a heavier workload on Mogi if he had any other choice. Since he had circumvented L’s careful measures by utilizing Ryuk, Mogi had been tasked with searching not just Sakura TV’s mail, but Demegawa’s personal mail as well. That included access to the camera on Demegawa’s property overlooking the front door, so should he receive another envelope on his doorstep, the investigation would be notified right away. Though he rarely had a chance to see Mogi since the delegation of their respective assignments, anyone could tell the sleepless nights were weighing on him as they did everyone else.
If he ever managed to bring Mogi onto his side, he would need to personally apologize for the trouble. Akuma may have been the cause, but Aizawa’s own actions were the reason Mogi spent another long night in headquarters.
Beep. Beep.
Aizawa was at the computer the instant he registered that sound wasn’t his imagination, as it had been all those times before. Is that…?! He let out a breath as the screen lit up with Watari’s emblem.
“Ryuzaki! We’ve received a reply from Akuma.”
Soichiro spun around with enough force he needed to steady himself on the table with the security footage he had spent the last few hours examining. “What?”
“About time!” Ide was already beside Aizawa, kneeling in front of the screen, and Aizawa had to remind himself of his place in the investigation. His and Ide’s eagerness wouldn’t be any source of suspicion, especially as partners instead of only one—they were close to Ukita, and therefore, had every reason to be antsy for this fake Kira’s answer to their crimes.
But this wasn’t their case to solve. Not really. As much as he would give it his all to put an end to the nightmare of Akuma—and of Kira, if that wasn’t his true role—he knew well enough they were only supplements to L, and in a way, to Light. He and Ide weren’t the ones who should have the front-row seat in the eyes of the others.
Watari continued talking in the background as Aizawa reached for the nearest chair to set in front of the screen. “Judging by the envelope, tape, the way it was sealed, handwriting, and visual quality, there’s little doubt it’s from the same person.” Aizawa gestured for L to take a seat, which he did with a grateful nod. Light stood just behind L, leaning against the back of the chair with a hand on L’s shoulder, though he pulled it back so quickly Aizawa thought he had imagined it. “The materials are on the way to you, but I will now send you a copy of what’s on the tape.”
The screen changed, but the emblem that greeted them was different than the one before. The font mimicking L’s own remained, but it was softer on the eyes, without as much of the harsh glitching along the edges that made it seem like a mockery. The name Kira had disappeared, replaced instead with the title of Akuma.
“Kira, I apologize if I have upset you in some way,” Akuma said. “I must have, if you do not believe my intentions to help you. As a show of my goodwill to you, I will recant my ultimatum for the lives of the Director-General or L, and I will not kill Lind L. Tailor as I had previously intended in the unlikely event he is the real L.”
I knew it. Akuma isn’t going to turn themselves in… Aizawa heard rustling behind him, glancing over his shoulder to find Matsuda passing a small stack of yen to Ide. He could only stare in disbelief, whisper-shouting his exasperation. “Were you two making bets?!”
“Rent is due soon,” Ide said simply. “And I have some expenses coming up.” Aizawa cringed. Right… He needs to account for his medication in his bills again. Matsuda probably thought his literature collection had led him down the spiral of more books than he could possibly have time to read, which wasn’t untrue. He knew Ide was content to leave the younger man under that impression.
“I want to meet you, Kira. I don’t think you have the eyes, but I won’t kill you. Don’t worry.”
Aizawa’s hand curled at his side, biting down hard on his tongue. He couldn’t react yet. He wasn’t supposed to know how catastrophic this was, or how it confirmed everything he suspected. Mentioning the eyes on a video the entire world was supposed to see…
“Having the eyes…?” Ide asked, glancing toward who most would assume was Soichiro, but Aizawa could see he was staring at Ryuk. Asking for any elaboration the Shinigami had conveniently left out. “What does that mean?” Ryuk only offered a chuckle in response.
Aizawa had to keep the strain out of his voice. “If Akuma’s talking about it like that, it must be how they got Ukita without his name.” Something shifted in L that caught Aizawa’s attention. From what limited amount he could see of his face, his expression of fasciation had changed into a raging whirlwind of emotion. Anger, annoyance, grief, and most worryingly, horror. “Ryuzaki?”
“Please think of a way we can meet without the police knowing. We can confirm each other when we meet by showing our Shinigami.”
Aizawa couldn’t hear anything else. All his brain could register was the tightening in his chest. Was this person malicious or deeply stupid?! He went over everything from the last week in his mind over again, replaying it as many times as necessary until he had his answer.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
When he first joined the NPA, Soichiro taught him that rule of thumb. Hanlon’s Razor, it was called, and it was a lesson that got Aizawa farther in his investigations than he ever imagined something so simple would. He had to think carefully about every behavior of a suspect, and come to the conclusion of whether it truly was an act of malicious intent, or incompetence made indistinguishable at first glance.
No matter how he attempted to recontextualize or rationalize what played in front of him, the only answer he could come to was that of a deep-seated malice. Every one of Akuma’s actions, from the murders on Sakura TV, to the ultimatum for L, and now a video masquerading as an apology but poorly concealed yet another ultimatum.
He and Ide were right about the blackmail. Akuma was going to keep doing this and revealing more information until they got what they wanted. No regard for justice or good and evil, just getting what they wanted! I have to do something fast to kill this piece of shit or—
A bloodcurdling scream pierced through his thoughts, so raw and visceral he could almost hear it tearing through the delicate flesh of its victim’s throat. That sound didn’t sound like it could come from a person, and yet looking down, that guttural wail was coming from none other than L himself.
He wasn’t sure how it happened, even as the events played out in front of him. Almost with no control over his body, L’s leg shot forward into the table, silencing the laptop that slammed shut and knocking him off balance from his squat, sending him crashing harshly to the ground, and taking his chair down with him, leaving them both on their side.
“Ryuzaki?!” Before anyone could move, Light was crouched by L’s side, hands hovering around him, searching for purchase anywhere that could provide comfort. But where L never allowed his eyes to leave his suspect for longer than a second, it was like he couldn’t see or hear him now, scrambling back on the ground, wide eyes showing more sclera than pupil glued to the screen. “Are you okay?!”
Matsuda tried to reach out his own hand to help. “What’s going on? Ryuzaki?!”
Aizawa didn’t realize he was moving until he felt cold water from the sink against his hands, and the glass against his skin. Filling up a glass of water, making his way back to L and bending down beside him. L’s thin frame trembled on the floor, his already pale face so drained of color Aizawa worried he might collapse, despite his eyes growing wider and wider.
L wouldn’t be able to hear him like this, so Aizawa looked to Light. “Give this to him.” He passed the glass to Light. Perhaps it was a questionable choice to put something for ingestion in the hands of L’s greatest suspect, but Light wasn’t the killer they were after, and for some reason, Aizawa couldn’t shake the feeling L knew that too. If not consciously, he would when it mattered.
Ryuk was looking over at Ide. “Hideki? You’re looking pretty pale. Mind filling me in on what’s got him so freaked out?”
Ide was biting down on his bottom lip, glancing toward Soichiro ready to call emergency services at a moment’s notice. He rested his hand on Soichiro’s shoulder and shook his head without a word, gesturing down to the scene playing in front of them.
L was still shaking, but his breathing wasn’t spasming as much as it was moments before. Though his words came out as broken stammering, he was trying to speak. “He—Shi—Shinigami…? Are we supposed to accept the existence of such a thing?” he asked into the empty air, or perhaps to the silenced computer. “Am I supposed to believe that?”
Aizawa’s brows furrowed. “Ryuzaki, what are you talking about? For a case like this, the idea of Shinigami being involved isn’t unbelievable,” he said. “It’s not weirder than someone having the power to kill with a name and a face.”
Matsuda rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, but still… Shinigami?”
“Aizawa’s right,” Light said. “I don’t want to believe it, but if Kira is able to kill with some kind of psychic power, we can’t immediately write off the idea the power came from a Shinigami.”
Ide dug into his backpack where it was sitting on the floor of the closet, pulling from it one of the heavy books on mythology he was studying with Ryuk, and as he flipped it open, Aizawa noticed unlike the ones with Ryuk, this one was devoid of the dozens of bookmarks and markings in red ink. It was empty of the things that made them distinctly Ide’s, and that was why he brought the copy. “I wondered if Shinigami were a possibility for this case, so I’ve been reading any myths and folklore I could find about them.” He scanned through the pages as he walked over to join the group at the other end. “Usually, Shinigami are tied to suicides and driving a person to madness, but there are multiple myths that detail Shinigami working in pairs.”
“Working in pairs?” Matsuda looked over Ide’s shoulder to see the book, unknowingly causing Ryuk to leap back to prevent being walked through. Ryuk took instead to floating behind Ide to see the book, hovering in a manner that resembled laying on his stomach. “Then I guess it makes sense there’s another person with the power, but shouldn’t they be working together?”
Ryuk shrugged as though he could talk to Matsuda. “I’m not sure where that idea came from.” He rested his fist under his chin. “I guess it’s referencing the bond between a Shinigami and the human owner of the notebook.”
Soichiro had his arms crossed, never looking away from the old textbook. “Ide, can I see that book?” Ide passed Soichiro the book, giving him time to read through the pages. “Well, we can’t be sure how reliable this is, but if the stories are right about Shinigami working in pairs, that doesn’t necessarily mean Kira and Akuma are working together. We are almost certain Kira is human, and there’s nothing to suggest Akuma is any different.” His brows furrowed, and he looked up from the book. “What I’m more worried about are the passages about driving anyone possessed by a Shinigami to madness. Could that mean Kira and Akuma have been cursed in some way, beyond the power to kill?”
Aizawa staved back a sigh. Driving someone to madness… You brought this up for a reason, didn’t you, Hideki? He glanced over at Ide, finding him staring back, his eyes confirming all of Aizawa’s suspicions with his unspoken words.
“Using the Death Note will destroy you. Doesn’t Akuma prove that?”
He squeezed Ide’s hand. An assurance, as it always was. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“No.” L cleared his throat, struggling to find his voice, but he managed to turn and face the others from his place on the floor. “We can’t be certain of anything. I may be willing to humor the idea of a curse or the nature of the power itself damaging Kira’s psyche, but Akuma is another matter entirely.” He shook himself. “In any case, the theory has about a 13% chance of being true—any specifics will be determined when I catch them. Referencing Shinigami and playing on old myths could be the supernatural equivalent of the insanity defense.” His eyes became distant, staring down at the floor, his voice no louder than a whisper. “If the theory were true, wouldn’t we have seen signs of deterioration from Kira by now? There would have to be signs.”
“Exactly. There would have to be some sign of decline,” Light said. “I suppose it’s possible Akuma only revealed themselves after the decline was finished, but that leaves more questions than answers.” He leaned back against his hands. “We can ask ourselves those questions later. All we know right now is we’re dealing with someone very dangerous and not quite right in the head to consider this a reasonable way to set up a meet-cute.”
Aizawa crossed his arms. “I’ll play devil’s advocate. How do we rule out the possibility Kira and Akuma have joined forces and are trying to confuse the investigation with the word ‘Shinigami’?” He gestured to the computer Matsuda had righted on the table. “I doubt that’s the case. Mentioning ‘the eyes’ could be another trick, but after what happened to Ukita, I don’t think so… It’s more likely the video is blackmail.” He shook his head, and his grip tightened on his arms. “But if they are allies, that could be how it’s supposed to look.”
“That’s not possible—thinking like that would only lead us in circles,” Light said. “If Kira and Akuma were allies, why would Akuma go along with Kira’s denouncement of the ultimatum? It would make sense for Kira to make a statement against Akuma either way, but he could just as easily prop up Akuma as an enemy for the world to be united against, and use that to kill L while Kira himself is entirely blameless.” Aizawa let out a quiet breath. Good. We won’t have anyone bringing that idea up later if Light shoots it down.
“As Light-Kun said, if they were working together, then they wouldn’t stop their plan to kill me.” L started pulling himself to his feet, righting himself by taking a firm grasp on the toppled chair. “Akuma is acting from their own feelings, and not Kira’s ideals. It’s not related to Kira’s goals of condemning the untouchable to change the world as he needs. Akuma’s own feelings…” he took a seat, smoothing over his face. “The desire to meet Kira, and they will do anything to achieve that goal. I have no doubt Kira is aware of this, and wishes to prevent it at all costs. He wouldn’t risk what he revealed to us unless he truly despised Akuma.”
Aizawa wanted—needed—to ask what he meant, but the whirlwind his mind was thrust into tore through his thoughts, making them race until he wasn’t sure what he could say without its true meaning bleeding through every word. His only saving grace was Soichiro beside him, willing and able to say it for him. “What he revealed to us?”
“I saw Kira’s face.”
A collective shout of “WHAT?!” erupted through the room, hiding sufficiently the choked scream lodged in Aizawa’s throat, dangerously close to slipping free. Color drained from his face, stammering in a failed attempt at regaining speech. How?! What is he talking about?! I couldn’t have messed up the visuals and shown my face—there were no visuals—!
Matsuda’s entire face lit up. “This is great, Ryuzaki! If you saw Kira’s face, that means we can ask for his help, right? Maybe reduce his sentence if he helps to capture Akuma.”
Aizawa could tell Ide was biting down on the inside of his bottom lip. He kept his face emotionless save for a mild twitch of interest, but the paralyzing terror in his eyes rang too clear and far too familiar for comfort. “Wouldn’t that mean you know Light is innocent?” Ide asked.
“You misunderstand. It’s not like that,” Light explained. “When someone speaks, their tone translates to their expressions. It’s difficult to say something with a certain emotion without it being on your face.” He gestured over to the audio tape L had kept containing Kira’s message. “The way Kira speaks shows exactly how he emotes during all of this, and in some ways you are able to see his face through it. No details, but we know how Kira emotes.” He got to his feet from his place on the floor, sitting against the armrest of L’s chair. “Even with the voice distorter, it gives a great insight into Kira’s personality.”
“Heh.” Ryuk nudged Aizawa to make sure he had his attention. “He got you pretty good. Looks like you couldn’t hide everything.”
Aizawa consciously tried to release the tension from his muscles—ease the pounding of his heart that made his arms and legs go numb. That’s fine. I knew that was a risk… He probably phrased it like that to get a reaction out of us. “Here I thought the nightmare could be over soon.” He sighed. “So that’s what you meant when you said it was nice to meet Kira.”
“Yes…”
Light pressed his lips together as he watched L’s demeanor. Something about it was putting him on edge, more so than anyone else. “The same thing happened with this tape for Akuma. It was harder to tell with the first tape when Akuma was trying to emulate their idea of Kira, but this message shows a more frantic side of them,” he said. He was talking more to L than he was to the rest of the task force. “That confirms it, doesn’t it? Akuma isn’t acting out of a sense of changing the world. They’re merely interested in Kira.” He crossed his arms, turning away from L to look down at the floor as he thought. Ryuk floated over his shoulder, following his line of sight. “Maybe this ‘Shinigami’ term is describing the ability to kill? ‘Confirming each other by showing our Shinigami.’ We could think of that as they will show each other their abilities to kill people.”
Ide rolled his eyes. “It sounds more likely Kira would sooner get his hands on a gun and deal with Akuma that way than agree to something like this.” Aizawa had to suppress a slightly delirious laugh at the mental image, and he was relieved to find Matsuda was in a similar situation. He couldn’t be sure why he was almost laughing, but he could feel the spike of adrenaline hadn’t yet subsided, leaving his amusement a desperate attempt to ease the fight-or-flight response sparking in his nerves.
“But in the face of blackmail, the intention may be to make sure Kira doesn’t have a choice.” Soichiro said. He sighed softly, running his hand over the pages. An odd look crossed his face as his eyes settled on the illustration of a Shinigami on the page, contemplative in a way that was unsettling. “If only we knew what it meant…”
“At the very least, we know that the word ‘Shinigami’ has some kind of meaning between the two of them,” L offered. “We can try to set things up in order to learn more about this.”
“Then we’ll send another message, this time pretending to be the real Kira?” Light asked. “If we fish around too much without knowing anything, we’ll reveal that we’re not really Kira, and risk Kira’s actual message into question.” He turned his head to meet L’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Ryuzaki, but if Kira’s message saved your life, I’m not sure I want to take that chance yet.”
L chuckled. “No, we don’t need to do that. Kira’s involvement gave us more questions than answers, and we must navigate this carefully,” he said. “What we can say right now is Akuma has no regard for Kira’s feelings, but wishes to meet him, and Kira hates Akuma enough to remove multiple layers of protection from himself. He confirmed his existence to the world, and he showed me a part of himself best kept hidden.” He pondered for a moment, then looked up to the rest of the task force. “From now on, we’ll let Kira and Akuma handle everything.”
Aizawa frowned. “Let them?” What are you planning, Ryuzaki?
L nodded. “We can assume that Akuma is very happy right now after receiving a reply from Kira, even if they didn’t like the contents. They’ve succeeded in getting Kira’s attention. And they’ve used terms only the two of them would understand. We’ll run this reply on tonight’s news on Sakura TV. Obviously Kira is paying attention to this back and forth.”
“Do you expect Kira to give another response?” Soichiro asked. “Blackmail aside, he essentially gave us the go-ahead to capture Akuma without any intervention from him.”
“No, he didn’t.” The smile on Light’s face could only be described as one of triumph and an underlying sadistic glee. “Remember what Kira said? ‘You are to give up your killing power and turn yourself in to the police.’”
Aizawa blinked. Of course Light picked up on that. No use denying it. “The order matters. Kira told Akuma to give up their killing power first. If the police capture Akuma before Akuma renounces the power…”
Ide finished his sentence. “We might be able to learn more about it.”
L’s fingers tapped restlessly against his knees. “From Kira’s view, he’d definitely want to avoid the source of Akuma’s power being found by the police. He may start worrying about what will happen if he doesn’t interfere.” He glanced toward the laptop, then quickly turned away. “Judging from Akuma’s video message, it seems likely that they are bad with machines and not particularly diligent. They will probably release more information to the police and media that Kira wants to keep secret, in order to pressure Kira into meeting them.” He grinned, a spark in his eyes that brought as much relief for Aizawa as it did further unease. “That would be very interesting. And it would be even more interesting if we see evidence Kira is acting behind the scenes.”
Ryuk laughed from behind Light. “Indeed.”
It would be interesting. But there’s a problem. “Wait, so we’re going to leave Kira to his own devices?” Aizawa asked, stepping forward from the background. “Won’t it be a problem if Kira kills Akuma with no one knowing? We need to give justice to the victims—we can’t do that if Kira did it for us in secret.”
“In theory, that would be a problem.” Light’s hand hovered under his chin. “But honestly, after everything Kira was saying in demanding Akuma turn themselves in, it’s just as likely Kira would want the police and the world to know Akuma has been dealt with.” He got himself up to a standing position, walking across the room to the laptop. He hesitated then, his gaze lingering on L. He decided against opening the computer, for fear of what may begin playing when he did. “What we need to do is catch Akuma before Kira to learn about their killing power. Kira will still need to keep Akuma in check until he can kill them, so we should be able to monitor most of what happens.”
“Closely examine every piece of mail sent to any television station,” L ordered. “If they do receive something from Kira or Akuma, I will decide whether they can broadcast it or not. For now, let’s gather all the evidence we can on Akuma.”
Soichiro cleared his throat. “Right.” He picked up some documents from a file on the nearby table. “Based on the video tape’s manufacturing number and date it was sold, we’ve narrowed it down to—”
L cut him off. “Not… now.” He strained against his own knees to get up from his chair. His voice was hoarse from the screaming, his breathing labored. “Work is done for the day. There is something I need to do. Ukita-San’s funeral is tonight, is it not? Take this time for yourselves to prepare.”
Ide’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t you attending the funeral?”
“I would if I could, but I showed my face and a false identity to be accepted into university and investigate Light,” L said. “Attending a funeral for a police officer murdered by Akuma is dangerous. If it got out, it could endanger not just myself but Light-Kun as well, and anyone else at the funeral.” His bangs curtained off his eyes, his grip tight on the doorframe to his bedroom. “I’m sorry.”
Soichiro softened, the ever-present haze that had overtaken him the past days subsiding into a paternal warmth that Aizawa was more than familiar with. “We understand, Ryuzaki. Thank you for the consideration.” He took a step closer to him, offering out his hand for L to take or be comforted by. “Forgive me for asking, but are you okay? Something in that tape has you shaken. Was it really just the idea of a Shinigami?”
“What else could it be?” L asked. But it wasn’t a question, not really. “It’s not every day that the foundation of your life is thrown on its head.” He seemed to realize what he was saying and stopped himself. “I’m all right, Yagami-San. I just need to clear my head.”
The door closed loudly behind him, leaving the remaining members of the task force in silence. Aizawa watched Ryuk lower his feet to the ground and walk into the room L had closed them off from—the Shinigami wasn’t alone in that either.
Light had his hand on the doorknob before he thought to explain himself with a glance over his shoulder. “I’m going after him. Something’s not right.” He looked back at the door, and his own hand gripped around the knob. “You should all get ready for the funeral. I’ll catch up with you tonight.”
Soichiro seemed like he was about to protest, but for some reason, he stopped himself. “All right. I’ll see you tonight.” He rested a hand on Matsuda’s shoulder to get his attention. Matsuda had been sitting in one of the chairs, pretending to read the book Ide left on the table to spare himself from the awkwardness of the current situation. “Let’s go, Matsuda.”
“Ah..!” Matsuda jumped up, book clasped in his hands. “Coming, Chief.” He handed the book back to Ide. “Here you go. How long have you been researching this for the case?”
Ide placed the book back in his bag as he walked out the door. “About as long as we were sure Kira’s powers weren’t human.” He turned back when he realized Aizawa wasn’t following. “Aizawa? Are you coming?”
Aizawa realized he had spaced out watching the door. “Yeah.” But even as he let Ide take his hand to lead him away, he couldn’t stop himself from stealing another glance, as though that would tell him what was happening on the other side. What am I going to do?
…
Light watched through the crack in the only partially closed door until he was sure the others were gone, closing the door completely and turning to the man at the farthest end of the room. L was sitting normally instead of his usual squat, his head rested in his hands and fingers digging into his scalp, the silver skies behind him casting a shadow over his body.
It was mesmerizing in a way, but it wasn’t something Light would have painted or drawn if he had the ability. The image before him was too laced with a deep-seated sense of wrong that pooled in his gut. “What’s going on with you? I know you played it up towards the end, but…” he took a seat in the chair across from him, noticing L hadn’t cleaned up their game of chess from the night before. 25-26. Light was ahead, but he knew it wouldn’t last. “That was real, L. You better not lie to me if you realized something. Did it have to do with the investigation?”
L didn’t respond, too lost in his own head to react to Light’s voice, if he could hear him at all past the hurricane playing out behind his eyes. That was fine. Light was content to sit with him in a comfortable silence and open his laptop to analyze the results of the camera they placed to monitor Mogi as he sorted through the mail of various news stations. How he responded to finding Akuma’s message would give them a better sense of where he landed in their suspicions.
Light watched the footage with headphones on until he found the timestamp he was searching for. “Mogi did exactly as he was supposed to,” he said. “He didn’t even view the contents himself—he found the envelope and notified Watari immediately.”
With how efficiently Mogi digitized the tape to transfer a copy of its contents to Watari, there was a possibility he saved the video somewhere he could access personally at a later date. Light opened another window to input the necessary code to access Mogi’s files on his work computer. Nothing. No evidence of any transfers either.
Either Mogi is much better with computers than we thought, or truly he didn’t do anything with the tape after finding it.
It was about what Light expected. Mogi’s chances of being Kira had consistently remained on the lower end of the regular fluctuations in suspicion the task force shared, with Matsuda, Ide, and Aizawa routinely rotating as the prime suspect on account of their backgrounds. The urgent transfer Matsuda was given, the hospitalizations for Ide of documented F43.1 episodes, and the growing suspicions of what occurred behind closed doors in Aizawa’s home. All three benefitted in some way from Kira’s intentions, or at least would understand it. Mogi was in a similar situation, but from everything Light could glean on his circumstances, he got out of it with fewer scars.
But it was disappointing. He had hoped to learn something interesting about Mogi, or see him do something he shouldn’t. Mogi had never been suspected more than 16%, but neither he nor L could deny the opportunity he would have, being in charge of everything back at NPA headquarters and over the mail. He would know what wasn’t in his domain and how to sneak a message, and should he make a mistake, correct it in secret. But if that was his move, it seemed Akuma had become too much of a threat to do that.
“The Shinigami was not what truly bothered me. I had to pretend it was to avoid the task force becoming suspicious.”
Light looked up and found L’s grey eyes staring back at him. L took a breath and turned to the window, a hand clasped on his other arm as he sighed deeply.
“I’ve seen this before, Light—I didn’t want to believe it would be explored in this setting. I sometimes wondered if it was connected, but if Akuma is speaking of ‘the eyes’ and their power requires only a face where Kira needs a name…” L trailed off, his eyes becoming distant. The glass of the window must have been a gateway to another world, another time. “There’s no denying it anymore. There was someone I knew years ago, a man who claimed to have eyes that showed him the name and ‘lifespan’ of anyone he saw. We believed it was brought on by a psychological condition, but if Akuma is eluding to the idea that this is directly tied to their killing power, that could be information that changes the entire case.”
Name and ‘lifespan’? Light straightened in his seat. That was invaluable, yet L’s disposition appeared as though the floor had shattered beneath him and sent him crashing into the depths. “L, if that’s true, we have to use that to our advantage,” he said. “If this person has information that could lead us to Kira, we should use it.”
L knew that. Of course he knew that. Light reminding him had done nothing but make the hunch of his back more pronounced, his shoulders turning inward as he stared at the chessboard.
Light signed. “I don’t know what happened—it must have been awful if you’re this reluctant.” He clasped his hands together, suppressing the urge to reach out toward him. Would that be too personable? They were close now, weren’t they? Best not to risk it. “But we said we would do anything to solve this case, even if it’s uncomfortable. We need to do it. If you can’t, then I will. We agreed to be partners together in this, right?” He feigned losing the fight against his urges, resting his hand on L’s thigh to get his undivided attention. From the way L was staring at him, it worked, but L knew the true game he was playing. “Just say who it is and where to find him, and I can do the rest.”
L chuckled softly, pulling his gaze away from Light’s hand and up to his face to watch the analytical process behind his eyes. “You practically read my mind. Though you’re wrong about one thing. I do not wish to speak to him again, but I would do it for the case if not for the fact I refuse to give him that satisfaction.” He predicted Light’s question before it could become a thought in his mind, as he continued. “He committed horrible acts to get my attention, and I have no desire to reward that. I didn’t then, and I have no interest in doing so now. Having you go would be best for both of us. You will go, and I will cover for you.” The edges of his lips turned upwards, and Light let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. “And it just so happens only Watari, who approves of any method, will be supervising.”
Light’s serpentine grin mirrored L’s own. “This should be fun.”
OoOoO
The weather was overcast, the skies darkened to a heavy blue-grey overhead. A chilled wind passed over the people in attendance as the funeral came to a close. There was nothing else left to say. The cremation was complete, and Ukita’s remains placed into an urn and laid to rest in what would be his final resting place.
Ukita… I’m so sorry. I failed you…
Every other world, every possibility had haunted his restless dreams in the hours since Ukita’s life was ripped away. If he hadn’t loosened his grip on Ukita’s wrist. If he had chased after him faster. If he pressed Ryuk harder on the possibility of a trade for wings. Could he have prevented this, or was the outcome set the moment the Death Note fell into Akuma’s hands? He hadn’t brought himself to ask the Shinigami any of those questions, a selfish part of him fearing the answers as much as he craved them.
Because what if it wasn’t Akuma picking up the Death Note that made the life Ukita had ahead of him crumble away? What if he was set to die the moment Aizawa noticed the notebook fall from the sky?
He could feel the sorrow radiating from the people around him. Eriko stood by his side with Yumi between them and Nozomu sleeping in Eriko’s arms, his small fist wrapped around Ryuk’s claw. Aizawa wondered distantly, the ramifications of a child cared for by death itself, but those thoughts were so far off he almost didn’t register them over the sob Matsuda bit down on his lip to keep in, staying the farthest away from the memorial without leaving the premises.
No family bothered to attend. Aizawa tried to contact them, and he knew Arakawa had too, but whether they couldn’t or simply wouldn’t be there, the absence was felt all the same.
Aizawa’s breath caught in his throat when Eriko inched closer to him. He tried not to think of the pain that shot straight to his chest as her body touched his, the fire and phantom sensations every place on him that she made contact. He looked around to find Ide approaching Matsuda, letting the young man lean into an embrace, his hand in Matsuda’s hair to soothe him as he trembled mercilessly in Ide’s hold.
Everything was over now. This was the end.
Aizawa bent down before Ukita’s grave, wiping away the leaves falling down from the wind and making sure the flowers were placed. I’ll come back to clean your grave. Don’t worry. He glanced down at the flowers again. I know you prefer ume, but I don’t think they’re in season right now.
His shoulder burned as a hand rested upon it. “Shuichi.” He heard Eriko’s voice, but only enough to process who it belonged to. “It’s time to go.”
“Right.” He got up, holding out his hand for Yumi to take. They were barely two steps out of the cemetery before a voice called from behind them.
“Aizawa.” Ide looked up at the sky, hearing the thunder in the distant clouds. “Come on. We should get something to eat. I doubt anyone has much of an appetite, but spare yourself the need to cook. I’ll pay.”
Eriko narrowed her eyes. “Why are you offering?”
“We shouldn’t go home yet,” Ide said. “There is plenty we don’t know, so anything could be possible.” He bent down to Yumi’s level, a fake smile plastered on his face as he held her in a partial embrace. “We don’t want Ukita’s spirit to follow us home, do we? He should get a chance to rest. He hasn’t had that in a long time.”
Yumi looked back into the cemetery. “Ukita-San was nice. He should rest…” Her bottom lip quivered as she looked to Ide. “He’s really resting, right?”
“That’s right. If he isn’t yet, he will, soon.” Ide got to his feet, letting her take his hand. “Kichiri should be open, if you want. Does that sound good?”
Aizawa watched him leave, his hand fisting around his tie and pulling, constricting his neck and reminding him he was breathing. Hideki… This was the first death they had experienced since everything Ide believed about the world was thrown on its head, reaffirmed by his pointed avoidance of Ryuk’s gaze. He would say what he had to, even things he didn’t believe himself, as a distraction from the reality that would surely come for him in the dead of night.
He wanted to ask Ide to say with them when that happened, but he could feel Eriko’s eyes pressing into the side of his head. She didn’t know what Ide was doing, but she must have understood one thing: he didn’t want Aizawa going home, and giving the two of them time to be alone.
Could he call someone? Where had Matsuda gone? Aizawa looked around for any sign of the younger man, but everyone was gone. It was just them now. Them, and the Shinigami sitting on the arched entrance.
He shouldn’t stay here any longer. That much he knew for certain.
Dinner was permeated by a tense silence, broken only for Aizawa and Ide by Ryuk’s futile antics through the izakaya to find an apple that wouldn’t be missed. But if nothing else, Aizawa could be sure Yumi ate something. Her head stayed low, eating a meal Ide knew she enjoyed too much for a soured appetite to let her starve.
She didn’t weep, but she seemed lost in thought, staring down at the table with a familiar glaze over her eyes. Ryuk was watching her behavior closely, and it took everything Aizawa had not to swat him away. We’re in public. He’s not doing anything.
Those assurances did nothing to stop him from hating the image of death hanging over his daughter’s shoulder.
His hatred of that was the only thing distracting him from the terror of wishing Ide goodnight and driving home after an hour of delaying the inevitable. Aizawa helped Yumi out of the car while Eriko unbuckled Nozomu from his car seat and carried him inside. His nails dug into the palm of his free hand as he stepped through the door.
“I’ll be up in a few minutes, Yumi,” Eriko said. “Get ready for bed while Dad and I talk.”
That had Yumi raising her head, panic flashing in her eyes. She didn’t move until Aizawa gave her a nod. “How about I tuck you in to bed? Just give us a couple minutes, okay?” Yumi nodded, but she was in no hurry with her hand on the railing to go upstairs to her bedroom.
It wasn’t even a full second after Yumi’s door opened and closed that he heard Eriko behind him. “This is your fault, Shuichi.”
“I know.” Wait. Does she…? Aizawa turned to ascertain her expression. “Why are you reminding me?”
“To make sure you know it and aren’t just saying that to shut me up.” Her face darkened, her eyes a mix of rage and something so dead it made looking at her, being in the same home as her, more terrifying than any God of Death. The click of her heels against the wooden floors rang in his head, taking a step back as she took one forward. “If you hadn’t taken this case, Ukita wouldn’t be dead. You knew that young man would follow you anywhere, and he followed you to his death. His family is suffering and so is yours, and you are home less and less because of this case.” She was practically in his face, despite their height difference. “You are the reason we’re all miserable. No one but you. So I hope you’re happy.”
She didn’t yell. She didn’t hit him, though he could see her hand twitching—itching to strike him the moment he talked back. She expected him to talk back.
Part of him wanted to. He deserved it, certainly. But he couldn’t talk back, even if he wanted to. Because there was nothing to say.
“I know. This is my fault.”
Eriko gritted her teeth, speaking in an angry whisper bordering on a hiss. “Then why don’t you do something about it? Stop saying you’re going to change, then just working on the case some more and getting people killed.” She got closer to him. He could feel her breath on his face. “Is one of the kids going to be next?”
Aizawa flinched. Eriko pulled back with a scoff. That struck a nerve, and she knew it.
“Go to bed.” She passed Nozomu to him. “Good night.” Eriko made her way upstairs, pulling her hair free from the updo she had on for the funeral. Leaving him alone with his back against the wall, shaking so much he wasn’t sure he could move.
Ryuk watched him from his place sitting crisscross on the table. “Shuichi?”
“I…” his breath hitched, looking down at Nozomu stirring awake in his arms. He passed Nozomu to Ryuk before the infant could open his eyes. He recoiled when he caught sight of his hands, and the blood coating him all the way up his sleeves.
He practically ripped off the suit jacket and shoved his hands underneath the water of the kitchen sink, scrubbing and scrubbing, squeezing his eyes shut in the hopes when he opened them, the blood would disappear back into his subconscious.
“I need to put Yumi to bed.” He nodded to himself, watching his hands under the water. Would it take ripping off his skin for the blood to wash away? “I need to put Yumi to bed.”
He pulled his hands from the water. Droplets fell from his hands down into the sink. Drip. Drip. Drip. What am I doing? He wanted to go upstairs. He had to go upstairs. Ryuk was upstairs with Nozomu. Yumi was upstairs. He had to go upstairs.
“Yumi?” He didn’t remember making it to her door, or how he came to be knocking, loud enough to get her attention but not firm enough to raise the eye of Eriko from the master bedroom. “Yumi, sweetie, can I come in?”
“Yeah.”
Aizawa opened the door, smoothing away any turmoil on his face until his features softened completely. Yumi was sitting at the foot of her bed in a nightgown, a purple one with blue stars, staring down at an open pathology textbook in her lap.
Yumi… Aizawa sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her to pull her close. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you.”
Yumi didn’t answer, running her hand down the page detailing cardiac arrest. The page was slightly worn at the edges, significantly more so than any other. “What happens when people die? I heard a lot of different things. I know what Ide believes, but Mom doesn’t like when Ide talks about it. And even Ide said we don’t know for sure—” Her breathing quickened, looking up at him with tears welling up in wide eyes. “Am I going to die? Are you going to die?”
This rattled her badly. She understood death. She had understood it for a long time, but she was still a child. His child. And she was suffering.
“Yeah, you’re absolutely right. There is no heaven or hell. No matter what you do while you’re alive, everybody goes to the same place once you die. Death is equal.”
He hadn’t thought much on what Ryuk told him months ago—he hadn’t allowed himself to. When humans died, they disappeared from the world like they never existed. Shinigami called that place of nothingness MU, but whether it was a place at all or a figment of their limited imaginations, not even Ryuk was entirely sure.
One day he would disappear with nothing remaining, and Yumi would as well.
Ukita had disappeared.
That was to be expected, wasn’t it? He lived alone. His apartment was probably perfectly still. Dishes in the sink, a coffee cup left out… a preserved reminder of him even after he was gone. He had disappeared. That place would be cleaned out, and any traces Ukita was ever alive would disappear too.
He promised Yumi once that he wouldn’t lie to her about big things. He wouldn’t give her a false answer and shield her from the truth of the world. But he wasn’t sure he could uphold that promise. That answer was too much for anyone to handle.
He brushed her hair out of her face. “I know this seems really scary, but everyone dies eventually. It’s just a natural part of life. We wouldn’t appreciate the world if we lived forever, but it’s nothing to be afraid of.” He traced small figure-eights on her back, feeling her shaking against him. “I wish I had all the answers for you, but everyone has their own beliefs about what comes next. All I can say is that you’ll be okay. No matter what happens, even if I die, I’ll always find a way to look out for you.”
“Do you promise?”
“…I promise. Come on,” he picked her up and got her situated under the covers. “Try to get some sleep, Yumi.”
Yumi looked up at him from the where she lay against her pillow, half her face squished against it. “If I have nightmares, can I sleep with you?”
“Of course. You have your spare key?”
Yumi pulled on the cord around her neck, hidden under her nightgown collar, resting the small key in her palm. “Yeah.”
“Good girl.” He kissed the top of her head, gently ruffling her hair and causing it to fluff up like his own. “I’ll take you to school tomorrow. Okay?” Yumi smiled—the assurance was enough that she managed to close her eyes.
Aizawa waited until her breathing fully evened out before getting to his feet and returning to his room, where Ryuk was waiting for him. The Shinigami had Nozomu in his arms, rocking him as Nozomu did his best to hold on to the bottle he was drinking from.
“Thank you, Ryuk. I’ll take it from here.” He took Nozomu from Ryuk’s arms, sitting down on the bed to hold him. “Hey, baby…” he chuckled as Nozomu grabbed tight onto his finger, babbling in a language only he understood.
Until…
“Dada!”
Aizawa froze. “What?” He stared down, finding Nozomu smiling back at him. He seemed very proud of himself. “Did you just…?” I didn’t think… He’s not supposed to yet… “That’s good.” He held Nozomu up so their faces were level. “That’s good, baby…”
Nozomu rested his hand on Aizawa’s nose. “Dada.”
His son’s innocent laughter, his pride in himself for saying his first word so young, was the thing to make the delicate defenses of Aizawa’s resolve crack and shatter. He pulled Nozomu close, holding him to stop him from disappearing too.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
Aizawa had many near-death experiences in his life. He stared death in the face more times than he cared to remember, and somehow, that reality had never been as real as it was in this moment. Until now, it had always seemed so far away. But knowing the truth of what came next—how there was truly nothing left, for those still living, and for those whose lives had been cut short by his and Akuma’s hand…
Eriko was right. This was all his fault…but it was too late to go back now, wasn’t it? If he didn’t stop Akuma, countless people were going to lose their lives.
He laid down in bed with Nozomu resting on top of his chest, staring at the ceiling with no thought to his clothing. He had no right to decide who deserved to exist. What made him think he had the right to take justice into his own hands? Did he truly believe he could change the world, or had he deluded himself in desperation for any escape?
Should I even be doing this?
He needed to defeat Akuma, and make sure L didn’t discover him. But after that… he had no idea.
Notes:
Remember when I mentioned getting struck twice by the local neurotoxin creature? Yeah, turns out the toxin has decided to stay in my leg. It’s gone up my leg into my hip and all signs point to its looking for more destruction. Fun times.
Chapter Text
The world could have ended, and it would have done nothing to pull Misa Amane from where she lay. Curled on her side in a bed decorated by the little belongings she thought to bring from home, as there was never a reason before to consider the place she slept somewhere sacred that no person should disturb. So in a room adorned with posters, dolls, and memorabilia of the occult, the bed was nothing more than a plain white comforter and some sheets.
For the past few days, that bed was all she had known, as her world had crumbled into dust. Her periodic weeping and desperate ramblings were only interrupted by Kuro loudly declaring his desire for food at routine intervals, and Sakura TV playing on an endless loop as Misa waited for a response from Kira.
Rem sighed, nudging the cold plate of food closer to the young woman, whose only response was to stare blankly ahead at the screen across from her bed. "Misa. I understand how upset you are, but if Kira does not want to see you, that is for the best. If he cannot find you, that means he cannot kill you."
"I don't care about that." Misa sat up in her bed, rubbing the remnants of another restless sleep from her eyes. "I need to meet him. I need to thank him for everything he's done, for making sure my parents got justice. The trial wouldn't have gone anywhere if Kira didn't kill that awful judge." She picked up the Death Note off her nightstand, resting it in her lap. She traced the engravings with her fingertip. ARVC-5. "I want to create a new world by his side. Why was I given the Death Note if not to help him?"
"The Death Note is not given for the purpose of helping anyone," Rem said. Her expression was odd, and it was something Misa never understood about her new companion. Why was she so perplexed by the idea the Death Note could be good? Didn't she see the changes Kira was bringing to the world? "Its only purpose is to kill humans, and extend the lives of Shinigami."
"If that's true, why was Kira given one?"
Rem grimaced. "Ryuk. He is the youngest of the Shinigami, and he's… something of an oddity among our kind. He was unable to bear the world we live in and retreated into this one at the first opportunity. He deceived the Shinigami King and managed to acquire a second Death Note, though I've heard he collected countless more. My guess is that nothing around Kira was something he had planned, and only happened by chance."
Unable to bear the world he lived in? Misa smiled to herself. It sounds like he and Kira get along pretty well. "You did the same, Rem?"
"No, the Shinigami King isn't fooled that easily."
"Then how?"
An unfamiliar emotion flashed across Rem's face. "Let's just say… that I'm one of the few in the Shinigami Realm who knows how to kill a Shinigami."
Misa's eyes lit up. "So you killed a Shinigami, took the notebook, and gave it to me?"
"No, it's not that I killed him," Rem said. "I just happened to be near when a Shinigami died."
Misa leaned forward in her bed, grinning from ear to ear. "Come on, tell me how to kill a Shinigami!"
Rem stared at Misa, weighing her options in her head, before coming to a decision. If the information would pull Misa from her despondent state, she was obliged to give. "Don't tell anyone." Misa nodded, but her enthusiasm told Rem another story entirely. The Shinigami heaved a sigh. "The way to kill a Shinigami… is to make them fall in love with a human."
A soft gasp fell from Misa's lips, her undivided attention trained on Rem as though her world revolved around those words. "What a beautiful way to kill…"
Knowing she had found the key to Misa's deepest yearning, Rem began her tale.
"There was a Shinigami named Gelus, who spent all of his time staring down from the Shinigami Realm at a young woman," Rem said. "It's something you'd be laughed at about in the Shinigami Realm these days, but I stayed quiet and watched. It hit me instantly that he was in love with the girl. Seeing Gelus's death, I felt like I understood—understood the reason why, back in the days when the Shinigami were deeply involved in the human world, a Shinigami would die from time to time…" Her eye became distant, as enraptured by her story and the memories it conjured, as was the girl listening to it. "Gelus was always watching this girl, and on the day she was set to die… I was interested in how she would die, so I watched on with him. The girl was walking alone that night, then suddenly, a man appeared and confessed his love to the girl. I believe you call these people 'stalkers'?"
Misa pulled back, a stone dropping into her stomach. She remembered her first words to Rem on the night she arrived. "Are you Kira?" Rem had denied being her savior, so then…
"The girl obviously turned down this man, who she didn't know." Rem paused when she detected Misa had frozen up on the bed. "I don't believe I need to tell you how she was intended to die after that."
Misa shook her head. She could still see that man and his heavy-duty kitchen knife when she closed her eyes. "Then I'll kill you and then myself!"
She noticed Rem had fallen silent. "What happened after that?"
Rem softened. "Gelus then did what a Shinigami should never do: he saved the girl by writing the name of the man who was going to stab her into his Death Note. Because of the Shinigami's actions, the man stopped his attack on the girl and died alone in the street a few minutes later from a heart attack. The girl never knew what exactly happened." Her expression darkened. "But it was a bad move. Shinigami exist to shorten human life—they exist to take life. Extending life is out of the question. At that moment, Gelus became sand and rust and who knows what… and died. Only his Death Note remained. His life was transferred to the girl he saved."
Hm… Misa carded her fingers through Kuro's fur once he jumped onto the bed, pressing himself against her side and hissing in Rem's direction. "If he hadn't been in love with her, then he could have killed the man and not died?"
"Exactly," Rem said. "Gelus died because of the desire to extend the girl's life. A Shinigami is not allowed to use the Death Note to extend human life. He failed as a Shinigami, and thus he died."
Misa hugged the Death Note close to her chest, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "Then… that night… the one who saved me was a Shinigami named Gelus." Of course it wasn't Kira. I should have known.
"Yes." Rem pointed to the notebook, pressing her claw against the cover. "That's why that Death Note is yours. You were given the Death Note not to serve Kira, but as a last gift from someone who loved you enough to die."
"Yeah…" Misa laid back on her bed, without her previous melancholy. She closed her eyes and sighed wistfully. "I get it. So to kill a Shinigami, you have to make them fall in love with a human, and have them save that person. And they have to kill someone to extend the life of the person they love, so it's really difficult."
"Give it up," Rem deadpanned. She was smarter than Misa often gave her credit for, not missing a beat to ponder a different meaning. "You can't kill me."
Misa giggled. "Oh? You knew?" She raised her hand up to the ceiling, as though the dim lightbulb was the person she sought. "But now I have another thing I can tell Kira. 'So, do you know how to kill a Shinigami?'" Kuro curled up beside her with his head against her stomach. His purring against her skin helped to soothe her nerves. "I asked him on the video to come up with a good way for us to meet. I wonder what's taking so long for him to respond. He must want to find me, right? Maybe I should send another message…"
No. It was better to wait for a little while. Kira had always been so calm and levelheaded. Maybe he hadn't sent her a response yet because he was waiting to cool off. That sounded reasonable… I'll give you time, Kira.
OoOoO
Nothing in the evidence points to me. I haven't made any mistakes yet.
It was going to become harder now to bypass the countermeasures L had put in place. Aizawa hadn't done anything to warrant suspicion, but he had done everything in his power to avoid being an active participant in the battle between himself and L. His aim before was to survive, but now…
Aizawa tapped the steering wheel impatiently as he waited for the light. "Ryuk, is there a way for owners of the Death Note to recognize each other? Akuma can't be so stupid as to expect the first person to set up and meeting and approach them is the real Kira. So," he glanced over to the seat beside him when he was sure no one would see. "Do you have any ideas?"
"Nope. No idea," Ryuk said, chewing on the core of an apple as he talked. "The only thing I can think of is Akuma's Shinigami is more willing to help, and would tell them if they saw me following a human. They shouldn't normally, but it's all up to the Shinigami's personality."
Aizawa wasn't sure if his annoyed mutterings were for Ryuk or for himself. "And you wouldn't tell me if you saw another Shinigami."
"Yeah." Ryuk said, contorting his body to stretch as much as he could in the vehicle. "Even if I see a human with a Shinigami, I won't tell you."
"In that case, you're not allowed to follow me anymore."
Ryuk jumped with enough force that his head phased through the roof of the car. Aizawa waited until he had gotten his bearings. "You can't do that! You're leaving me at that house?!"
Aizawa nodded. "Walking around with a Shinigami basically announces that I'm Kira. I'm not putting myself at a disadvantage like that unless I have an equal or greater advantage." He had to bite back a smug smile bordering on a smirk. "If you feel inclined to share, maybe you can tag along and have any apples we pass by." He sighed in a slightly exaggerated fashion. "It would be annoying to label all the places in the house you could stand without being seen from outside, but what else can I do?"
Ryuk crossed his arms, grumbling like a petulant child. "I could leave when you're not home, and you'll never know."
"If my family is hurt or killed because you didn't stay hidden in the house, I will burn the Death Note and send your ass back to the Shinigami Realm," Aizawa snapped. "The same thing applies if you write my name because you don't like my rules." He parked in the lot beside the hotel, waiting for Ryuk to weigh his options. "So what will it be?"
Ryuk grumbled his response, and Aizawa couldn't help but laugh. How did my life get to the point I'm willing to do this?
"If you're going to throw a tantrum, you have to try harder. At least put some effort into it," Aizawa said, putting on a tone of mock-encouragement. "Come on, wave your arms more! Scream louder!"
Ryuk deflated, sliding dramatically down the passenger seat and partially through the floor. "Is this how you treat your children? Mocking me like this?"
"Yumi had a single tantrum in her life," Aizawa said, shrugging halfheartedly. "And that tantrum was before she turned two. There's no better way to nip that crap in the bud than being unimpressed by it." He unbuckled his seatbelt, thought not before adding, "Soichiro taught me that—don't think you would get a better deal by choosing someone else. It is far too late for that."
"Fine. I'll tell you if I see someone." Ryuk craned his neck at an unnatural angle, the dark clouds overhead leaving him shrouded in enough shadow that his eyes glowed their usual deep red. "I'm going to kill you one day."
Aizawa smiled. "I know you will." He opened the door and stepped out of the car. "Shall we go?" Ryuk crawled out of the car, and Aizawa had to focus his expression to remain neutral. "I'll meet you inside."
He hurried to the main entrance without another word, only sparing a glance over his shoulder to make sure Ryuk had separated from him to enter through the emergency exit in the back of the hotel. Every hotel had one, and it was imperative he find it within a few hours of L deciding to switch their base of operations.
As had become routine in the continuous cycle of collecting evidence and answering phones in headquarters, he found Ide waiting in a chair by the elevator. From the half-asleep daze he was in and the book sitting in his lap unopened, he must have been there less than twenty minutes but more than ten. He blinked awake as he heard Aizawa's footsteps coming closer. "Any luck?"
"Kind of." He swiped the key card in the elevator to access the top floor, holding the door open only long enough that Ide could step inside. "What about you? Did you have any luck last night?"
Ide shook his head. "No. I went through five books, and I couldn't find any ways to locate or summon Shinigami." He leaned his head back against the mirror. "Unless we can somehow lure the Shinigami to us, I don't see going through it as an option. Even then, it wouldn't bring us any closer to Akuma. We would be at a disadvantage."
"Right—Did you say five books?" Aizawa spun around fast enough he almost fell over. "Hideki, you aren't—"
Ide held up a hand. "It's not like that. I'm fine." He watched Aizawa's expression for any sign of relief. "You don't believe me anymore, do you?"
"How can I?" Aizawa asked, digging his nails into his scalp. This can't be happening again. "I trust you with my life, but with everything going on… I don't trust you with yours." He took a breath, offering out a hand and resting it on Ide's shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything."
Ide stared at Aizawa's hand. "I know I can." He rested his own hand on top of it, lingering there as he battled his own hesitation. He grimaced, unable to meet Aizawa's eyes. "It's more than just the nightmares that are coming back. It wasn't because of you or Kira, or any of that, really…"
"Then what's causing it?"
Ide sighed. "Do you really want to know?" He waited for Aizawa's nod. "I think it's Ryuzaki. Something about him doesn't sit right with me. He reminds me of the people I used to investigate." He pulled away from Aizawa, absently rubbing his wrists and the faint scars that forever marred them, leaving him to digest what he was told.
What? "Has he done something to you, or is this a gut feeling?" The elevator door opened, and the two of them stepped out. Aizawa scanned around for Ryuk, finding no sign of the Shinigami. He must be in the room already. "I believe you, but I want to know exactly what we're dealing with."
"It's a gut feeling." Ide chuckled, but it held no mirth. "I'm overthinking it—I have to be. Besides a few weird looks, he hasn't done anything to me. But with everything he knows about my medical records…"
Aizawa clenched his fist at his side. I promised I would keep you safe. Even if it does come to that, we're getting out of this together. I won't let him hurt you. "Hideki… You should resign from the case. I appreciate having you here with me, but I can't let you destroy yourself."
"You're funny if you think you can get rid of me." Ide opened the door before Aizawa could protest, loudly declaring their arrival. "Matsuda, we're back."
Matsuda brightened when he saw them, unaware of Ryuk perched on the back of the couch over his shoulder. "Hey! Did you get the results back from forensics?"
"Yeah," Aizawa dug into his bag to find the envelope, placing it on the coffee table for someone to take. That person happened to be L, holding the paper between his fingertips as he read over its contents. "Kira's tape only had prints from Demegawa—a few phone calls revealed he only touched it for broadcasting and to make copies. There wasn't anything else on the tape."
"I expected that outcome," L said. "Akuma is more likely to make mistakes—Kira wouldn't be so careless. Still, this is valuable information, if only to confirm what we already knew." He glanced next to him to the person sharing the couch, offering out the envelope for Light. "Light-Kun? Would you like to read over the documents?"
Light didn't answer, seemingly lost in a passage of one of Ide's heavy books. His leg bounced restlessly against the floor, but his eyes didn't move on the page. Aizawa's brow furrowed. Is something wrong with him?
Matsuda may not have been the first to notice, but he was the only one willing to speak up. "Light? Is something wrong? You seem kind of stressed."
Light finally looked up from his book, an embarrassed flush rising on his face. "It's silly. With everything going on, it's a ridiculous thing to worry about."
"No, it's not ridiculous." L drank from his tea a moment longer than the middling amount of liquid in the cup. "Akuma running free means we need our attention dedicated to the case. If something is distressing you, we should take measures to resolve it. So, what is it?"
Light rubbed the back of his neck. "You weren't there for the lecture, but Dr. Yoneda—"
Ide groaned, "You have Dr. Yoneda?" he rubbed between his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, his other hand on his hip. "Let me guess. He went on a nonsensical tangent about his own theories, used Japanese statistics and claimed they represented the entire world, and then gave you an assignment with no guidance and unrealistic expectations?"
"You have experience with Dr. Yoneda?" L asked.
Aizawa chuckled. "Do not get him started on Dr. Yoneda, or we will be here all week." Was it too much to hope Ide and L could bond over a mutual dislike of Dr. Yoneda, and Ide would be able to sleep without medication again?
"Huh." Light frowned, pondering every possible implication, and nodding his approval. "I knew someone here had experience with him, but hearing it like that makes me feel better." He stared down at the table. "You're right about what happened. He gave us a project, and I made sure Ryuzaki and I were alone in a group. The project is due in three days and I haven't had time to collect everything while working on the case." He leaned forward, clasping his hands together to prevent himself from fidgeting. "The project is the first part of our semester assignment, so it's not something I can leave unaccounted for."
"That's not an issue," L assured him. "I would appreciate being able to keep my pride in school." He offered out a piece of mochi to Light. Light shook his head, and L popped the piece into his mouth. "The case isn't going anywhere at the moment… How about Light-Kun spends a few days with Watari to finish the project? Watari can acquire anything that could be needed, so it can be completed within the time frame." He turned his attention to the task force, gauging their reactions. "This may seem a bit much, but if mine or Light's performance decreases in school, there is too great a risk of someone figuring out we have other obligations. I'm not keen on putting our lives at risk over something so trivial."
Soichiro straightened in his seat. "Does this mean my son is no longer a suspect?"
"I only suspect him about 7%," L said. "That doesn't diminish his rights."
Wasn't it 5% before? When the hell did Light's percentage increase?! Aizawa shot a glance at Ide, who had his arms firmly crossed. This has to be part of what has him on edge.
"Not to mention," L continued, forcing Aizawa out of his thoughts. "If the killings change in some way while Light is away and under Watari's supervision, that could be valuable evidence. I trust Watari to report any strange activity." He turned back to Light, his hand creeping closer to his on the couch. "How about it? You can leave to take the necessary steps, so long as you stay close to Watari."
Light stared at L's hand, the flush from before creeping back onto his cheeks. Enough to notice, but not enough for Aizawa to be certain of what he was seeing. Until Light softened, a warm smile blossoming on his face. "I can agree to that."
What are they doing? L had a point about Light's rights, but something felt off about him allowing Light to wander about with only Watari. Was it possible Light was on the brink of being cleared, and this would be the final test? That was the ideal scenario, and from the way they looked at one another, it was inevitable. But what if it was something else? What if Watari was going to try something? Or worse. What if they found a lead into Akuma but didn't want to tell the task force yet?
Am I being paranoid about this? No… He wasn't being unreasonable. L hadn't done anything to him, but he had been Ide's partner for too long to ignore his gut feelings. Ide being wary of the detective was more than enough reason for Aizawa to be as well.
If Light was going to be gone, he couldn't deviate from the schedule for a second. The thought of erasing more people made him ill—it took all Aizawa had to remind himself he had to push forward. He couldn't risk implicating Light, or in a backwards way, himself or Ide.
He decided not to think about that. Light being away was a good thing. It gave him more time to figure out what to do—with himself, and with Akuma. He had to capture them before the police, or if nothing else, recover the Death Note and leave them to their fate. The entire world was waiting for Kira to execute this imposter, and he didn't want to imagine the consequences if he failed.
OoOoO
Light adjusted his glasses as he read over the documents—the pair he so rarely wore; but in a situation like this, they would more than serve their purpose. They complemented his father's dark brown trench coat he was allowed to borrow. A smile danced on Light's lips as he lowered the papers and found his own face staring back at him in the mirror. He was told he had his mother's face, and those people had never been wrong, yet all it took was a similar outfit, and Light wondered if this was what his father looked like at his age.
Dad didn't know what he was doing here, not exactly. He hoped that one day, he would be able to tell him everything—that his father would look at him with pride. Proud of who he was, not the person he pretended to be.
He noticed Watari coming up behind him in the reflection, resting a warm hand on his shoulder. Under the calculated shadow of his hat, he could see a prideful smile tinged with bitterness. "I appreciate your help with this," Watari said. "I'm confident L would have done it, but your assistance throughout the case has been invaluable."
"Thank you." Light turned away from the mirror, resting with his low back pressed against the counter. "Why are you and L so uneasy about talking to him? Did something happen?"
"It's nothing for you to worry about," Watari said. His back was to Light before he could pinpoint his feelings. "All you must know is the person you're interrogating awakens some unpleasant memories in both of us. I hope you understand."
Unease crept up Light's spine. What type of person could so thoroughly disturb L and Watari? "We shouldn't wait any longer. Did you come in here to tell me it's time?"
Watari nodded. "Remember. Your name is Raito Asahi, and you're an associate working under L." He looked over his shoulder to make sure Light understood. "You need to speak to a prisoner in private for matters concerning the Kira case, but he is not a suspect in the murders."
"You don't need to remind me." Light opened the door to the break room he was allowed access to, finding the warden of the prison waiting for him, the surname Anderson on his name tag. "Is he ready?"
"Depends on how much you're willing to put up with," Anderson said. He held up his radio for Light to see. "He had another episode this morning. You'll find him in solitary. I wouldn't talk to him until he calms down, but I'm not the one who traveled across the world to see him."
Light had to concentrate to keep the sneer off his face, tooling his expression into confusion with pinched brows. "What do you mean, he's in solitary? Was it done as a punishment?" Wasn't solitary confinement a torture tactic? L used it during extreme cases to get information from a suspect, but it was only used if they refused to talk through other means. That was the kind of situation he could understand the reason. Why, for someone who was already confined?
"Not as a punishment," Watari said. "It would be for someone else, but the observation of him calming down in isolation is legitimate. When you meet him, you will understand."
Anderson accepted the indirect answer and gestured for them to follow him through the halls of the prison toward solitary confinement. Anticipation bubbled in Light's stomach as he surveyed the general population mingling below the catwalk. He had done some research into this prisoner on the flight from Japan to California, and based on articles and reports, it painted the picture of a man whose explanation for his crimes was so bizarre that his case had been plagued by controversy from the start. An overwhelming majority were growing of the mind that the insanity defense should have been considered past the elimination of the death penalty, and in recent months, that sentiment was being shared by staff and fellow inmates.
What had halted those proceedings time and time again was the bodies that piled any time he declared someone was set to die. The machinations of a broken mind terrified them, and some questions were best left unanswered.
Adrenaline coursed through Light's veins with every step, his heart beating steadily against his ribs. He should be scared or anxious, but the thrill of what he would find when he stepped through the door was far too enticing for either feeling to be anything more than a passing thought.
When he finally stepped through the door alone, and came face to face with Beyond Birthday, Light couldn't shake the suspicion he had just passed the point of no return.
A row of heavy-duty bars separated him from the serial killer, and in front of those bars was a yellow line—a warning that to go any further was to be in Beyond Birthday's reach. Light took another step into the room, observing the man who lay sitting on the floor with his eyes closed, peaceful in contrast to the straitjacket that bound his arms to his chest.
There was a sense of wrongness as Light got a better look at the man's face. He was beautiful, in an uncanny sort of way. Messy coffee-colored hair fell in his face, mistakable for black in certain lighting. He looked a little like L, only… something was off. Burn scars peeked out on the left side of his neck, creeping up towards his face without touching it, but upon closer inspection, Light noticed the skin on that side of his face was unnaturally perfect, almost like new skin had taken the place of anything damaged, but there were no scars to indicate someone had done a procedure.
Were he only to see a picture of a young L, he might be tricked into believing this man had grown up to be the result, but as it stood having seen the real L, any attempt to be him would amount to nothing.
Before Light could say a word, Beyond Birthday's eyes snapped open. In the limited lighting of the cell, he could have sworn the man's pupils glowed a crimson red, but when his eyes focused and trained themselves on Light, there was only a dulled russet color to be found.
Beyond Birthday grin looked painful and revealed sharp canine teeth that were just a little too long. "Well, well, aren't you a beauty? And your name is Moon? I can't decide if your parents were amazing or sadistic with that spelling. Raito, Light-o… Light." His smile eased into something lazy, leaning back against the wall. "Either way, Lawliet's taste certainly hasn't changed."
Light regarded B warily, but he didn't let it show on his face. "Lawliet?" He was playing a dangerous game, one he knew from sound alone was a violation to engage with. On the other hand, L would have warned him or prevented this encounter if it was of too much importance. "Who are you talking about?"
B's face darkened, leaning forward against the ground with a crazed look in his eyes. "L L-A-W-L-I-E-T. The detective we know. Don't play dumb—we know you're smarter than that."
"Who says I'm playing dumb? I wanted to be sure the stories about you were true." He took another step closer, earning B's mild interest. "You don't seem interested in having company, so I'll get right to the point. There's a serial killer going around with eyes identical to what L and your case file described of yours. What can you tell me about your eyes?"
B chuckled, shaking his head as thought Light told a ridiculous joke. "Can tell and will tell are two starkly different things." He pulled himself to his feet, revealing his restraints had been nothing but an illusion of safety. He had freed himself from those long before Light had arrived. He approached the bars, nimble fingers curling around them, absently picking at a piece of chipped paint with his nails. "What's in it for me? I would be more inclined to talk if my dear Lawlipop came to see me." He giggled to himself, resting an arm over his head against the bars, cracking each individual joint in his hands and neck, staring down at Light as though his height advantage of only a few centimeters was significantly greater. "I don't particularly like helping people."
Light narrowed his eyes. He didn't need to tolerate this. He was given the freedom to do whatever he needed to get information, and the guards would turn a blind eye, but…
His eyes wandered to the watch adorning his wrist. Dad gave it to him as a gift. "I'm proud of you, son."
I want you to be proud of me.
He looked B over again, at B watching him, and he noticed something. His devil-may-care attitude masked something else behind those eyes glinting in the flickering lights. Curiosity, and just a hint of desperation that only sparked when he mentioned Akuma's eyes.
Light smirked, and he didn't care to hide it as he regarded the yellow line. He raised his head back to B, never breaking eye contact as he stepped over it. "Do Shinigami mean anything to you?"
B's hand moved faster than the eye could see, and he didn't have time to react before it was wrapped around his throat. Light's breath hitched, feeling those fingers pressing against his skin, dancing along his windpipe. But before he could question if he made a mistake, he noticed B's grip wasn't any tighter. He wasn't trying to constrict his breathing—he was simply touching his pulse.
"Odd." B tilted his head to the side, his eyes raising from Light's neck up to something just above his head. "You are an odd one, Moon. You're set to have a long life—about sixty years left, give or take. It's rare to see a number that high around here." He stared at the numbers, then he frowned, as something changed before his eyes. "But something is different about you. You're exposing yourself to something that's going to change your fate. Kira's power, perhaps…?" His fingers pressed harder against Light's pulse. "Whatever it is, it wants nothing more than to rip those numbers from you, and if you don't stop it, the one who gets out of this alive will no longer be you."
"Have you seen the numbers change before?"
"They haven't changed. Look," B pointed above Light's head. "93312639. I can see something is wrong, but as I said, you've only exposed yourself to it. You could turn away from all of this, and live out the rest of your days, or you could continue down this path, and for all you know, you could die tomorrow." He broke into a fit of demented giggling. "I look forward to finding out. It's exciting to think I might not know when you die."
"You haven't answered my question." Light said. He made sure to never lose his edge—make sure B knew there would be no playing games. "Your silence is all the answer I need. I already figured out the truth." His eyes hardened, unflinching as he took a step closer, the bars the only thing separating them. B could snap his neck and end his life here and now, but he wouldn't. Light knew he wouldn't. "You may know how your eyes work, but you don't know where they came from, or why. So how about a trade? You tell me how they work, and I will capture Kira to tell you where they came from. Don't you want to know why you were given this power?"
That caused the hardened resignation in B's eyes to crack. He pulled his hand back from Light's throat, wrapping it around the bars, contemplating the offer. The ball is in his court. Let's see what he does with it. B glanced back with unspoken hesitation, until a softer, more genuine smile crossed his face.
"Okay then, Moonlight. What do you want to know?"
Chapter 19
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Happy Birthday, Aizawa!”
Aizawa couldn’t help the smile that threatened to lift the edges of his mouth. There were times where Matsuda’s enthusiasm for life was infectious, even for those who couldn’t rationalize his feelings. “Matsuda, you don't need to celebrate. Besides, my birthday was yesterday.” He paused, thinking over the interaction again. “Wait. How did you know it was my birthday?”
“Ide told me.” Matsuda said, offering out a small cake he purchased from the supermarket. “I don’t know what you like, but I didn’t think I could go wrong with something simple. I would have given it to you yesterday, but we didn’t see each other.” He sat Aizawa down on the couch, nudging the untouched documents to the edge. “Don’t worry. The case hasn’t gone anywhere in weeks—we can spare five minutes for cake.”
Beep. Beep.
“Speak of the devil.” Aizawa pressed the button on the computer, fighting to hide the wince as his hand screamed in protest. He pushed himself too far last night, researching and writing as many names as he could put on the schedule—preventing a change in MO that could draw L’s attention while he focused his attention on Akuma. “Watari? Is there an update?”
“Yes. Another message from Akuma was sent to Sakura TV,” Watari said. “According to Director Demegawa, it’s a video and a diary.”
“A video and a diary?” What are you up to now, Akuma? Leave us alone. Aizawa spared a look around the room, double-checking what he had known for a couple hours. “Ryuzaki planned to spend lunch with Light after class. Do you want me to call him?”
“Don’t worry about Ryuzaki. Are the other members of the task force with you?”
Aizawa nodded, more out of instinct than actually thinking Watari could see him. “Matsuda is with me. Mogi is back at headquarters, and Ide is…” he felt something poking him, which turned out to be a pen, directing his eyes to the paper Matsuda was holding up that read ‘Pharmacy.’ “He’s running an errand. I can call him.” He hung up and turned back to Matsuda, regarding him carefully while Matsuda was none the wiser. What does he know about Ide? He decided against displaying any of his concern, but he couldn’t act too confused either. “Why is Ide at the pharmacy?”
“Oh, it’s for me,” Matsuda said. “I ran out of painkillers for my headaches. Ide said the pharmacy was on his route to work.” He held up his phone, showing his contact list with Ide’s name. “I can message him!”
Ide had taken a liking to Matsuda in the last weeks, and with how little Aizawa knew about him, it felt in his best interest from a personal and professional standpoint to get to know him better. He sat down beside Matsuda on the couch, cutting the cake to share with the others once they arrived—a waste of valuable time on any other day, but there wasn’t much else to do until everyone arrived. “You’ve mentioned your headaches before. Have they always been a problem?”
“Only for the last year or so.” His hand rose to his head, lingering over a spot hidden by his hair. “It’s an old… work injury.” He seemed to realize what he was saying, waving his hands and shaking his head in tandem. “Nothing you or the others need to think about. I’m not dying or permanently injured or any personality problems. I’m fine—I got off lucky.”
Aizawa’s brow furrowed. Does that have something to do with his sudden appearance in the NPA? “Don’t worry about it. You’re not the only one here who gets headaches sometimes.” Sensing Matsuda wanted to move the topic away from the injury or its cause, he decided to take a different approach. “Do you know what sets them off, or is it random?”
“Random, mostly.” Matsuda shrugged halfheartedly, picking at the piece of cake he had cut for himself. “Painkillers don’t help, but they take the edge off…? If that makes sense?”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Was this a good time to ask? Aizawa thought back to the few pieces of information he had about the younger man. His reaction to the sound of breaking glass came to mind. “Matsuda. What was your old job before this?”
Matsuda blinked. “Oh. I—”
The hotel door was almost ripped off its hinges with the force it was thrown open. Neither Light nor L seemed to be in a particular rush, yet the urgency had Aizawa jumping out of his skin, and Matsuda’s hand flying to where a sidearm would be, before remembering they weren’t allowed to have their guns in headquarters.
“Akuma sent a diary?” Light spun around the laptop, his eyes flying over the email with documentation on the new evidence that reflected in his eyes. “Have we ordered handwriting analysis?”
“I was going to do that once we knew if it was written or typed,” Aizawa said. He got up to stand beside them, but maintained a careful distance. “You got here quickly.”
“Yes. We were on our way back when Watari gave us the call,” L said. “Yagami-San will be bringing the evidence from Sakura TV.” He typed something into the computer faster than Aizawa could try to translate. “Do you know where Ide-San is?”
“Running an errand,” Matsuda offered. “I sent him a message a few minutes ago, so he’ll be here shortly.” He held up the cake on the coffee table. “Cake?”
L smiled just a bit, not enough to shake his usually near-stoic exterior, but more than enough to remind them he was only human. “Thank you, Matsuda-San. We have time before Yagami-San arrives with the evidence.” He sat in his usual squat, unknowingly forcing Ryuk out of the chair and onto a perch on the back of it or to float around the room in monotonous circles.
It wasn’t long before Ide arrived, passing a brown paper bag to Matsuda to stuff into the overnight duffel bag he had developed the habit of bringing to work every day. If either Light or L cared about the bag’s contents, it wasn’t a high enough priority to distract them from waiting for Soichiro to come through the door twenty minutes later with a heavy-duty envelope in hand.
Light straightened in his seat once his father arrived. “Thanks for getting these, Dad.” He took the envelope from him, putting on a pair of gloves before he opened it and pulled out the sheet of lined paper. “Did Demegawa give you any trouble?”
Soichiro shook his head. “No. He seems to be under the impression I’m dangerously unstable and could snap at any moment, so he won’t give me much pushback.” He sighed, rubbing away a headache at his temples. “I would prefer if it hadn’t come to that, but the only other option was allowing him to play that broadcast and get innocent people killed. I can live with this.”
Matsuda grinned. “Besides, who cares what that Demegawa guy thinks? Shouldn’t we read the note Akuma sent?”
L nodded. “Yes, that should be our priority.”
“Great. Time to find out what that psycho’s up to now.” He had enough deniability that he could voice his grievances, and a plethora of reasons for that hatred beyond his identity as Kira. Aizawa knew enough about himself that saying nothing would draw more attention than allowing the rage bubbling under his skin to bleed through. “What do we think it’ll be this time?”
Matsuda held up a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “I have a bingo card if anyone wants it. It was mostly a game for myself, but depending on what the message says…”
“You made a bingo card?” Aizawa raised an eyebrow, looking between Matsuda and the paper. “Matsuda, be serious. We shouldn’t be playing games about this.”
Ide leaned slightly to see the paper from behind Aizawa. “No, no, I want to see this bingo card.” Matsuda passed him the bingo card. Ide read it over for all of two seconds, not even enough time for Ryuk to see it from over his shoulders, before his brows furrowed. “Why is ‘wants to fuck Kira’ on here twice?”
“Oh, yeah.” Matsuda awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “That was an accident, and I don’t have enough printer ink left to fix it. And…” he sent Ide a knowing look. “Come on. You know why.”
“I don’t—” Ide’s entire expression became blank as he replayed everything that had happened in his head. His eyes narrowed at the sheet of paper. “You should have made that the free space.”
Ryuk burst out laughing hard enough to fall off his perch on the chair. Aizawa’s heart lurched as the Shinigami collided with the table, his own intangibility the only thing preventing it from toppling over without an obvious reason.
He must have let it on his face, because there was an apprehension in Soichiro’s voice and face that wasn’t there before. “Aizawa? Are you okay?”
“Y-Yeah. I just…” Aizawa ran his hand down his face. “This is ridiculous. If Akuma did all of this for something as stupid as that… I don’t want to imagine it.” He took the diary from L, who was preoccupied trying to get the tape to play on the computer. “All right. What is this?”
It was a diary sheet, that much was obvious, but the first thing to catch his attention wasn’t the contents, but the date at the top of the paper. Last year…? His fist curled at his side. This isn’t a diary. This is a set of instructions.
“Did you find something?” Ide checked the paper with him, the look in his eye conveying he memorized the page in a matter of only a few seconds, giving Aizawa enough solace to read over the rest of the page. And as soon as he did, he knew he had to say something about his deductions.
“Akuma does not give up. This is a set of meeting dates and instructions.” He pointed down at the final line. “May 30th. We confirmed our Shinigami at the Giants game at the Tokyo Dome. But that’s not the only one…” It couldn’t be the only one. He would know that even if he weren’t able to decipher the codes scattered throughout this paper. If the page was broadcast on television, that was blatantly telegraphing what the plan was, and the game would be cancelled. Not to mention… Does Akuma seriously think I would bring my notebook, the only piece of damning evidence, for any of these meetings?
It was more of a question than he would have thought. In all the dates with instructions, there was an expectation he bring something to prove he understood the message, but anyone would be able to follow these in some way. The notebook was the only way to prove he wasn’t a civilian who had put the pieces together on his own. Akuma would be a hypocrite not to bring theirs—not that he put it past Akuma, but for any reasonable person to trust them, Akuma would have to prove their identity first.
Was the notebook being put at risk for this plan? If so, was that by design, or had Akuma not thought it through? This could be bad…
“It looks like the assessment that Akuma is on the younger end was right too,” Ide said. He pointed to a few lines on the paper, underlining key words with his index finger. “Multiple mentions of school. University, if I had to guess.”
That caught Light’s attention, alarm flashing in his eyes. “University…? Are you sure?”
Ide shrugged halfheartedly. “I suppose it could be high school, but that doesn’t seem likely. Definitely between 18 and 20,” he looked over his shoulder to address Light properly. “The lower end of your profile for Kira. We might be able to use that profile here to some extent.” He took the paper from Aizawa and sat down with it. “If we are able to narrow down the locations to areas around Shibuya and Aoyama, we could send someone to find Akuma.”
“Yeah.” Aizawa sat down beside him, noting Matsuda sitting on the other side. “I would normally say we should check Yokohama since that is specifically said to be too far, but if Akuma wants Kira to find them, that doesn’t seem likely.” He glanced up, seemingly staring into space, but in reality at Ryuk. “Unless people with that power have a way to fly that we don’t know about.”
Soichiro reached to take the paper from Ide to inspect it for himself. “Unless Akuma already knows Kira’s identity and they are in close vicinity of one another, we can disregard the instructions for May 23rd. There’s not much we could do for that.” He paused when he felt Light reading over his shoulder. “If you eat in your school’s cafeteria, it’s best to avoid pork curry for a while. I don’t want Akuma getting the wrong idea.” He turned, staring Light dead in the eye, a firmness to his voice that, for the first time, indicated there would be consequences if Light disobeyed him. “I’m serious, Light. Don’t.”
Light refused to meet his father’s eyes. “I won’t. I don’t really like pork curry anyway—I only like it when Mom makes it.”
That was one less thing to worry about. Aizawa’s focus fell on the instructions for May 22nd. “My friend and I showed off our notebooks in Aoyama.” Besides the obvious mentions of a notebook, something about it sounded off, but Aizawa knew better than to voice that. This and the meeting in Shibuya on May 24th… These have to be the true instructions.
“Let’s direct our attention to the final date.” L said, snapping Aizawa out of his thoughts. “‘We confirmed our Shinigami at the Giants game at the Tokyo Dome.’”
Matsuda raised his hand. “Isn’t that… stupid?” He asked. “Wanting us to broadcast this diary is obviously a message to Kira. Even if it is written as a diary from last year, it’s clear they plan to meet with Kira at the Giants game that happens to be on the same day this year.”
Soichiro looked over the paper again. “Does this mean the person can’t even figure out that once we broadcast this, the game will be cancelled?”
Matsuda took the diary page. Aizawa made a note to ask Mogi if he could make copies going forward. “It’d be a total panic. The media would be screaming that going to the game would get you killed by Akuma and other nonsense.” He looked over at L. “I have some old contacts I can call if—”
“That shouldn’t be necessary, Matsuda-San,” L assured him. He heaved an annoyed sigh, taking one of the last pieces of cake. “Frankly, this whole thing seems idiotic, but that also makes it difficult to react to.” He sat down in a chair separate from everyone else. “If we broadcast the diary, then we’ll also have to announce that the game is cancelled. If we don’t broadcast the diary, then Akuma won’t act.”
Aizawa nodded. “What worries me is if the game is cancelled, Akuma may get angry and do who knows what…” Should I mention the high chance of there being other hidden messages? No, not yet. I have to be careful not to have too much knowledge. If they don’t come to that conclusion on their own, I’ll say something.
“Like I said to Matsuda-San, that shouldn’t be a problem,” L continued. “Akuma seems to revere Kira. Let’s assume that they’ve sworn to Kira not to kill unnecessarily anymore.” He glanced around at the gathered group. “Anyway, for now let’s broadcast the diary and announce the cancellation of the game. And also, that we will be closing off the streets around the Tokyo Dome and conducting an investigation there. We received so much police cooperation during the Sakura TV incident, I believe we could manage that. Matsuda-San, any contacts of yours could be useful on that front.”
What contacts did Matsuda have that could be useful for that? Aizawa tried to gauge Matsuda’s demeanor to be certain of that. The only thing he could think of was…
L prevented him from finishing that line of thought. “What we need to navigate around is Kira’s strong repulsion of Akuma,” he said. “I would normally create a reply with our fake Kira agreeing to the meeting, but the real Kira made sure that wasn’t viable. If Kira were to agree to a meeting, that would practically declare to the world that this was a trap. Even so…” he took a sip of his coffee, reading over the diary he had at some point taken back without being noticed. “I’m not sure if that would stop Akuma. I don’t know how stupid they are. Also… let’s assume they aren’t stupid and think about whether there’s any other hidden messages located in this diary.”
There we go.
“If there’s some kind of code that only those who have the Shinigami ability would understand, then I won’t be able to find it, but… we should definitely keep our eyes on any location that’s mentioned in the diary.” L adjusted the paper in his hand, holding it higher to read the bottom of the page. It would be simpler to hold it normally with gloves, if fingerprints were his concern, but Aizawa had known L for long enough to be certain that was a lost cause. “May 22nd… My friend and I showed off our notebooks in Aoyama. May 24th, I met a friend in Shibuya. We bought some clothes to wear this summer.” He set the paper down on the glass table, giving Light the opportunity to take it. “This may be a waste of time, but let’s put our attention on people holding notebooks in Aoyama and clothes stores in Shibuya. Light-Kun, with the information in this diary, could you make a profile for Akuma, the same way you did Kira?”
“Sure. Though I think Ide did it partially for me.” Light’s eyes scanned over the paper. “He’s right. This is definitely someone around my age in university. Like he said, there’s nothing here to dispute Akuma being in high school, but that isn’t the impression I got from everything with Sakura TV.” He paused as he read over the paper, ignoring the page in favor of making direct eye contact with the detective scrutinizing his every move. “Don’t look at me like that. I would never be this stupid. If nothing else, at least give me that. I’m not buying clothes with anyone.”
When he said it like that… A stone dropped in Aizawa's stomach. Fuck.
Matsuda raised his hand. “I have a question.”
“You’re not in school, Matsuda,” Soichiro said. “You don’t need to raise your hand.”
Matsuda lowered his hand, but he waited for the go-ahead from L to talk. “I know we’re planning to cancel the game, but isn’t something weird about Akuma’s plan? If they plan to meet Kira, who can kill with a name and a face, what’s the plan to stop Kira from killing them and being done with it?” He gestured to Ide next to him on the couch. “Ide said it before, based on what Kira’s said about Akuma, he would probably kill them even without their power.”
“It could be because Akuma believes Kira doesn’t have ‘the eyes,’ whatever that means,” Ide said. “Based on what they said in that video, the eyes allow them to kill with only a face. Maybe they plan to use an alias and bet on Kira not knowing their name, or killing Kira themselves if he was armed.”
Light shook his head. “I don’t think so, Ide. That is possible, but there has to be more to this.” He opened his laptop and flipped it around to reveal a perfect transcript of Akuma’s videos. “Something I found interesting is the way Akuma talked about the eyes. It implies this is something specific to their killing power, or even something they have the option to obtain. If it was unrelated, why bring it up as ‘I don’t think you have the eyes, but I won’t kill you’ instead of considering it a bonus they have that Kira can’t obtain on his own? It would make them more valuable with a rare power, but that’s not how it’s being presented.”
So Light’s figuring it out… “That’s a good point,” Aizawa said. He leaned forward in his seat, allowing him to read over the transcript and make sure he hadn’t misremembered any details. “If Kira hates Akuma and has the option for that power, why would he not do so? The only thing I can think of is there is some downside that makes the eyes out of the question for him, but not for Akuma.”
In the corner of his eye, L’s grip tightened around his coffee cup. “Whatever that may be must be terrible...” Something in his tone changed then. A quaver that hadn’t been there before. Aizawa thought back to L’s panic at the mention of Shinigami. Was that really it…? He knows something.
L brushed it aside, returning to his usual demeanor so quickly Aizawa would have thought he was going insane if not for Ryuk’s demented giggling. “They’re figuring this out pretty fast,” Ryuk taunted him. “Looks like you’re in more trouble than you thought.”
No need to rub it in.
“We have no way of knowing one way or another besides guessing until we catch Kira.” L swiped a rogue section of his bangs out of his face. “I am keen on having those answers, but for the time being, we’ll start installing as many cameras as possible in Aoyama and Shibuya. And on that day, we’ll fill the streets with all the plain-clothed police officers we can get.”
Soichiro tensed in his seat. “But if Akuma does go and notices people trying to capture them, won’t they try to kill them? It’s dangerous.”
“We’re already announcing that we will be ‘investigating’ the Tokyo Dome,” L said. “I don’t think they’ll have any problems if we question people—no, even if we take fingerprints. If Akuma is so stupid that they plan to come, knowing of the police presence and prepared to kill in order to see Kira, then we’ll catch them easily.”
“Catch them easily?” Matsuda looked worriedly to Soichiro. “But there will be victims…”
“No, what Ryuzaki is saying is that Akuma couldn’t be that stupid,” Soichiro said.
“No,” L was quick to correct him. “I’m saying that as long as we are on this investigation, our lives are on the line.” Seeing the alarm flash across the faces of his allies, he continued with, “But for Aoyama and Shibuya, I doubt Kira or Akuma will be killing regular people. Our officers will be dressed normally and simply be on the lookout for anyone suspicious. If they spot someone, then we will do nothing immediately, but investigate them later. So, people like Yagami-San, whose appearance screams out that they are a cop, will not be on the beat.”
Soichiro answered with a simple, “Right.” But there was something mildly amusing about his expression telling a different story, one that involved the words, “Oh thank God.” Though his exhausted relief didn’t last for long, as something else seemed to occur to him—something that was cause for concern. “We know Kira doesn’t harm anyone he deems innocent, but shouldn’t we be worried about his response to all of this? He specifically wanted Akuma to renounce their power before turning themselves in. Having police officers all around those areas risks that power getting out.”
“I don’t think we have to worry about Kira,” Light said. “If they have the ability to renounce their power, it leaves open the possibility for Akuma to do that before the police find the source. Obviously, we need to prevent that from happening, but that means Kira may not care what we do outside of watching closely.” He sat on the armrest of L’s chair, staring down at the diary entry on the table. “Akuma being stupid isn’t in question, but even an idiot could put in secret messages only Kira would understand. That could reveal their real meeting location.”
L nodded. “It would help narrow down where to focus our resources…”
Should I go to Aoyama or Shibuya? Aizawa clasped his hands together, staring at the shoes as he weighed the pros and cons. He needed to find Akuma before the police, and if nothing else, retrieve the notebook—Light and L were right about that. However, there was a risk associated with that on the off-chance Eriko or one of her friends went to Aoyama on the same day. Not only would that, in her eyes, prove he was lying about his work hours, but if his growing hunch about Akuma was right…
“I’ll go!” Matsuda declared. “I fit right in at Aoyama and Shibuya.”
Well, that solves that problem. The decision doesn’t belong to me. Aizawa failed to hide the exasperation on his face, seeing Matsuda’s cheer at what could be a highly dangerous mission, but decided against commenting on it. If Matsuda wanted to go, that gave Aizawa a verifiable reason not to go.
A smile played on Light’s lips. “I’ll go too.”
Soichiro sighed. “Light…”
“Don’t worry, Dad,” Light said. “Aoyama and Shibuya are places I go to sometimes, and I am the one who would seem the most natural hanging out with Matsuda—Matsui. And the only person Akuma is interested in is Kira.”
L watched Light for a moment, but whatever he was pondering, he decided it wasn’t worth getting sidetracked. He tapped the diary with the cap of a pen. “We will broadcast this diary tomorrow. Yagami-San, can you get cooperation from the police before tomorrow night’s news?”
“Right, I’ll do my best.”
A quiet hum was L’s only acknowledgement of Soichiro’s answer. He set down his cup the tiniest bit louder than he would normally, and his soft-spoken manner of speaking shifted somewhat. “Also, and this is very important, it’s true that this is a chance to catch Kira, or at least Akuma. But at this point we must also think about Kira and Akuma joining forces. I want to strengthen our security even more.”
“What do you mean?” Aizawa asked. What are you planning?
“Don’t reveal that you are working on this case to anyone, of course,” L said. “Avoid going outside as police officers as much as possible, and I want you to destroy all photos of yourselves but the ones on your person. I’ve left no photos of myself anywhere—even at the university, where I’m registered. Even the security cameras at the hotels have been made to deactivate when we enter or leave.”
If asked to describe the physical change in the way L’s carried himself in that moment, Aizawa wasn’t sure he could put it to words, but there was no doubt in his mind what this was. A coldness he had encountered in fleeting moments, the difference between Ryuzaki and L—the same person, yet Ryuzaki’s moments of humanity, the reminder he was a person too, made it easier to forget. This was the world’s greatest detective, and whatever he had planned, it was calculated with a specific goal in mind.
“I want you to gather up all your files at the police headquarters, all your photos at home, and the ones you’ve given away… and dispose of them.”
He hasn’t left any photos anywhere? That in itself wasn’t surprising, but… Does he really want us to do this, or is it an act to deliver that information in some way? Destroying every photo of himself wasn’t exactly realistic. In his case, destroying family photos in his own home would be more suspicious. He couldn’t imagine what Eriko would do if he had to do that.
No. This was L telling them that no photos of him existed, so in the event Kira changed his morals to work with Akuma, it would lead him nowhere. But if L was saying that here, then…
Soichiro pressed his hands against the table, pushing up from his seat and placing himself above L. Aizawa would have thought he was overthinking it, if not for the uncharacteristic frustration growing at the edges of his voice. “Ryuzaki, does that mean you still suspect my son?”
L didn’t seem bothered by the move, but Aizawa had no doubt he noticed it. “Unfortunately, he’s not totally in the clear, and that’s part of it, but this is because we’re assuming that Akuma only needs a face to kill the person.” He looked over to Light, fondness creeping back into his tone. “Consider it a compliment to your intelligence that it’s more difficult to clear you.”
Hints of scarlet painted Light’s cheeks. “Don’t worry, Ryuzaki—I have taken it as a compliment. And you’re right about the photos. It’s impressive that you were able to think that far.”
Matsuda leaned over to nudge Aizawa and Ide, whispering low enough not to be heard by the others. “Hey… Is something going on between them?”
“I don’t know,” Aizawa whispered back. “Something’s certainly weird…” Not in a dangerous way or even in a way that would suggest there was anything wrong with it. Light and L enjoyed one another’s company, and if the passing glances they stole of one another were in isolation, it wouldn’t be so strange. The strange part was in the question of why L hadn’t cleared him. There was no way he would do anything against Light, even if he was Kira. Light didn’t react to the suspicion like any normal person would either. If not for the strain it put on his father, he wondered if Light would mind it at all.
If this was a ruse to spend more time together without Soichiro being able to intervene, they might as well admit it already and save the rest of them the stress.
Ide nodded his agreement but didn’t contribute to that debate, clearing his throat to gain L’s attention. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Destroying all of our photos isn’t exactly possible, especially for those with families.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t expecting Yagami-San, Aizawa-San, or Mogi-San to be able to remove all of their photos,” L said. “Especially in the cases of Yagami-San and Aizawa-San, who have wives with notable social lives, destroying the family photos would draw more attention. Keep all photos to a minimum.”
Matsuda frowned slightly. “If you knew most of us couldn’t, why ask us to do it?”
Light explained in L’s place. “If Kira and Akuma join hands and want to wipe out the investigation team, all they’d need is our pictures to kill us all. Even Ryuzaki, whose name is unknown to anyone.”
“Yes, I only showed myself to all of you because I assumed Kira needed both a face and name to kill,” L said. “The situation has changed now. Akuma has appeared, and if our theories are correct, Kira may also gain this ability. In order to prevent that, I would like to at least capture Akuma during this opportunity.”
Aizawa’s brow furrowed. “Ryuzaki… The way you said that just now makes it sound like you think one of us could be Kira.” He narrowed his eyes, making sure L couldn’t look away from him. All this time, was this the truth? Was that really the reason for the odd remarks and searches into Ide’s past? “Was that order actually for us, or was it a message to Kira?”
L noticed the shift in the air. Aizawa knew he did. He wouldn’t have that unsettling look in his eye if he didn’t. But his voice gave away none of that. It was almost eerie to watch. “I don’t think anyone here is Kira, but it never hurts to be cautious. Consider it both.” His fingers slid across Light’s forearm. He’s never drawn attention to that before. “Light-Kun is my suspect, and he is among the task force. Would I have shown him my face if I believed that was all he needed?”
“I see…”
“We should retire for the evening.” L stood up, walking over to the window where he could observe the setting sun over the city. “Aizawa-San. If it becomes necessary to create a fake version of Kira to get Akuma’s attention, could you dub over the fake Kira again?”
Did I overstep with my suspicions? Aizawa’s hand fisted in the fabric of his jacket pocket. “Yeah, I can do it. Are you sure that’s a good idea? We know what Kira sounds like now.”
“Any discrepancies can be hidden with a voice distorter,” L said simply. “You did well last time, and I’ve seen how passionate you can be. You can probably get at least close to what we’re looking for. I doubt Akuma would notice any minor differences.” He rested his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “We won’t do it just yet. I want to see if there’s any indication the real Kira goes to the other locations. If there’s nothing for a few days, we may employ that to guarantee Akuma takes more risks.”
Goddamnit, Akuma. He had wanted to believe the last weeks without the topic of false recordings meant he was out of the woods. One more thing to worry about, and no matter what he did, L could find a reason to compare the audio between himself and Kira.
“Let me know if you need that audio,” Aizawa said. “If Light makes the script, I shouldn’t have any problems.” He grabbed his bag from the closet, then picking up Ide’s backpack and passed it to him. “Good night, Ryuzaki.”
“Good night.”
Aizawa heard footsteps chasing behind him as he and Ide left. It didn’t take long to identify those footsteps as Matsuda’s. “We can stop for drinks tonight if you guys are up for it.” He had a slight bounce in his step as he caught up and walked alongside them. “Hey, Aizawa. You’re staying with Ide tonight, aren’t you?”
“How do you know that?” He looked to Ide for answers, gesturing between him and Matsuda. “Just because you two started hanging out, suddenly he knows everything?”
“It’s not like that,” Matsuda said. “I’m actually pretty good at recognizing movement patterns. You grab Ide’s bag for him and wait in the door a little longer when you two are leaving together.” He grinned, oblivious to the alarm that crossed Aizawa’s face. “I may not be as smart as Ryuzaki, but I’m a detective too.”
Ide softened. “Yeah, you are.” He adjusted the strap of his bag, keeping a careful eye on Ryuk. Aizawa couldn’t tell how conscious it was for Ide to put himself between the Shinigami and his friend, but it was something Ide was undeniably doing. “We can’t go out for drinks tonight. I need Aizawa’s help cross-referencing some documents, and that sounds like a really boring way for you to spend your evening.” His shoulders relaxed as they made it into the lobby, and he managed to smile. “How about we go for drinks as a group once we catch Akuma?”
“Okay!” Matsuda paused when he heard his phone ring the second they passed through the doors of the hotel, causing Aizawa and Ide to stop as well. He answered the call, but was silenced before he could say a word. His joyful demeanor deflated with every word said on the other end. “…I understand.”
“Who was that?” Aizawa asked.
“Nothing.” Matsuda shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s nothing.”
Ide sighed. “Ryuzaki wants you to keep a close eye on Light during the days you’re together?”
“It’s not nothing.” Matsuda bowed his head, causing his bangs to fall in his face. “As long as there’s the smallest doubt, he totally suspects him…”
Aizawa nudged Matsuda to get him walking again, making sure they were all in the parking lot out of earshot. “I’m not so sure about that.” He opened the door to his car, but didn’t get in. “Call me paranoid if you want, but keep an eye out for if Light is keeping an eye on you, too.”
Matsuda gritted his teeth, but he kept his head down in the hope that no one would notice. “You really think he suspects one of us? I thought you trusted Ryuzaki.”
He had trusted Ryuzaki—maybe trust was a strong word, but he hadn’t distrusted Ryuzaki. But Aizawa couldn’t forget Ide’s concerns, and now that he was looking for it, the small things that didn’t add up. A picture was being painted of something far beyond what Aizawa was prepared for, and he had to be ready. “I do. But like Ryuzaki said, it never hurts to be cautious.” He waved goodbye, sliding into his car. “Get home safe, Matsuda.”
Ryuk was waiting for him in the car, contorted in the backseat to be somehow laying and sitting across every seat simultaneously. “He never told you what his old job was.”
“I know. Too late now.” He gestured out the window, where Matsuda was pulling out of the parking lot and going in the opposite direction. “It’s either going to be the most mundane thing I’ve ever heard, or the most insane.” He turned around to face the Shinigami. To any potential onlooker, he was just backing out of his space. “You only care if I know because you can’t ask him yourself.”
Ryuk scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I could ask him any time I wanted.”
“And then if he tells anyone, you’re doomed to eat sand apples for the rest of your miserable existence,” Aizawa retorted. “We both know you won’t take that chance.”
Ryuk slouched in defeat, but he kept his usual gusto and broad-toothed grin. “You never know. You didn’t think Hideki would be okay with this, but look how that turned out. Maybe you could bring Matsuda on board.”
Aizawa rolled his eyes, but he paused when he realized Ryuk wasn’t joking. He was only partially motivated by the desire to watch trashy dramas and read tabloid gossip—the other part of him was serious. “I don’t know him well enough for that. Hideki and I have been partners for over fifteen years.”
“Right, and that’s a long time for humans.” Ryuk rested his chin against the back of the passenger seat. “Can we turn up the music? I like this song.”
Aizawa checked the song in question, noticing a pattern in the times Ryuk had mentioned preferences for music. “Wouldn’t have taken you for an Ai Otsuka fan.” He chuckled to himself. “You know what? Sure.” He turned up the music just a bit, appreciating the song to drown out the noise in his head until he could make it to Ide’s apartment.
Almost as soon as he made it up the stairs, Ide was waiting for him with an open door. They stared at one another in silence for a few seconds, Ide closing the door behind him.
“Akuma is a college-aged woman.” The deduction was said in perfect sync, their mutual understanding turning to anguish as they realized the other said the same thing. “Damnit!”
Aizawa rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.”
“What did you want me to say?”
“Anything else?” He shrugged off his jacket, tossing it onto the coat rack. “Sometimes I hate when we’re on the same page—there’s not much doubt about it anymore, is there?”
Ryuk looked between the two in amazement and disbelief. “Huh? How can you tell?”
“It’s multiple things.” Ide[went about making coffee, giving the apartment a pleasant smell even if that did nothing to distract either of them. “The writing style was the thing to catch my eye. I have never in my life seen a man write like that—I’ve seen many women write in different styles, but the chances of it being a young woman are significantly higher.”
“Not just the writing style,” Aizawa added. “The contents of the diary gave that impression too.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the back of the counter. “The mention of buying clothes for the summer especially. I’ve heard Eriko and Yumi talk about that, but not really anyone else unless they have a direct reason.” Ide passed him the first cup of coffee, and he gently nudged it back into Ide’s hand. He was willing to wait for his own cup. “Or the capitalized emphasis on HIM. That implies the object of affection. It could be intended as scorn, but either way… would a man broadcast something like that, even with Japan’s climate surrounding that?” He shrugged, watching Ryuk to make sure he was following along. “It’s generalizing, but sometimes in cases like this, pattern recognition is all we have to go off of for a while.”
Ryuk cocked his head to the side. “Couldn’t Akuma just be doing what Hideki said and making a fake profile for themselves?”
Ide drank from his cup of coffee, passing the second one to Aizawa. “I would normally humor that possibility, but with how much Akuma wants to meet Kira, she wouldn’t risk any catfishing. We need to remember she’s obsessed with Kira.” He sat down with his copy of the evidence he got from forensics, flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for. “The fingerprints on the tape were small and matched either a young woman or a child. For anyone else as Kira, this is the least bad of those two options. A child you could help, and take comfort in knowing they don’t understand what they’re doing… but Interpol might not think the same.”
“I was afraid this was a damn hybristophiliac with the Death Note,” Aizawa muttered. “I guess you’re right, though. It complicates things, but I’d prefer this over a kid.”
“Does it help if I say we don’t know if she’s a hybristophiliac or just a monster?”
“She’s obsessed enough that she’s murdering people and creating a world of fear to get my attention,” Aizawa said. “It doesn’t make a different what the specifics are. Nobody else will care at the end of the day, so why should I?” He sat down beside him, watching Ide take notes into a spiral notebook. “Especially for me, it doesn’t make a difference. If this is a young woman, I need to avoid her at all costs.”
“True.” Ide didn’t look up from his notebook. “If you were seen with a young woman, your crazy wife would kill you.”
“Eriko's not crazy.”
“Right.” Ide shut the notebook. “Remind me, you're wearing long sleeves in May because you tripped into the coffee table?”
"It was one time..." He pointedly changed the topic, leaning back against the couch. “I can’t help but be glad Matsuda and Light volunteered to go to Aoyama. If we’re right, and Akuma is a young woman interested in Kira for one reason or another, those two aren’t in any trouble.”
“But Akuma still wants to find Kira, and she doesn’t show any signs of giving up,” Ide said. “What’s Kira’s plan to combat that? We have to find her, and make sure she doesn’t find you.”
Aizawa grimaced. “I already talked to Ryuk about telling me if there are any Shinigami around. But unless I happen to run into her, that won’t help us find her.” He looked around for Ryuk, finding no sign of the Shinigami. He must be at the orchard or checking on Nozomu. “Even if she and I had our Shinigami scouting Aoyama and Shibuya, they could easily miss each other.”
Ide pulled his laptop out of his backpack, typing away on the computer. “Let’s see if Aoyama has any clues for us.”
Aizawa leaned closer, almost with his chin against Ide’s shoulder to see the screen. He frowned when he noticed something of interest. “What’s that?”
Ide clicked what Aizawa had been pointing at, his eyebrows inching upward as he read the article in stunned silence. “I’ll be damned… She planned this more than we thought.” He shifted the screen so they could both more comfortably see. “There’s a concert on the 22nd at that jazz club, Note Blue. Ao means blue, and the mention of notebooks…”
“That can’t be a coincidence.” Aizawa rested his head in his hands, that information causing a problem to dawn on him. “Light might actually be in trouble. He’s known to have a connection to this case with the FBI incident, and even if we say he has nothing to do with it… he’s going to figure this out and go straight for Note Blue. Akuma has the eyes, so she’ll see him.”
Color drained from Ide’s skin. “Do you think she might…?” He pulled out his phone, and Aizawa noticed he didn’t need to dial; he had the person he was calling already in his contacts. “Matsuda? Hey, it’s Ide. Aizawa and I were running through some evidence. When you and Light go to Aoyama, I need you to keep him as far away from the Note Blue as possible.” He sighed. “Matsuda… Matsuda, I know you don’t want Ukita’s killer to get away, but we have to—”
From the dread that washed across Ide’s face, the line went dead. Aizawa sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “How did that go?”
“Matsuda will be here in twenty minutes, and he didn’t take no for an answer,” Ide said. “He wants to ditch Light and go after Akuma himself.
“Is he crazy?! He’ll—” he cut himself off. Actually… “Hideki. What happens if you look up Matsuda’s name?”
Ide typed the name into the search engine. “Nothing. At least not in the public channels. I’m sure I could find him if I looked in our channels, but nothing a civilian would be able to find.”
“Even if they bought the information?”
“If they bought the information, I suppose it depends on how they went about it,” Ide said. “But, assuming she had the notebook on hand, all Akuma would need to kill Matsuda would be his name and face. There wouldn’t be a reason to buy his information.” He turned away from the laptop. “Why?”
Ryuk flew in through the window. “Shuichi, your offspring is asleep.” He floated over to them and stole the evidence documents to read for himself, hanging upside-down over the table. “I can leave him with Yumi, right? She got him to stop fussing.”
“Yeah, you can leave him with Yumi.” Aizawa started putting away the more incriminating parts of their board. “Hey, Ryuk. Can Shinigami be captured on camera? Assuming another Shinigami or someone who touched the notebook was the one looking at the footage.”
“I don’t think so.” Ryuk let Aizawa take the evidence from him, preoccupying himself instead by lifting the bedsheet over Ide’s television. He barely dodged the meterstick Ide used to swat him away. “But who can say? Nobody’s really tried it.”
“Smile.”
“What—?!” Ryuk yelped at the flash of light. “Hey!”
Aizawa watched the results on the camera. He groaned as the image came onto the screen, and only revealed the wall, with no sign of the Shinigami. “Damnit. That’s a bust.”
Ide’s eyes widened in realization. “You wanted to put a body-cam on Matsuda, and find Akuma that way.”
“Yeah. Unless he draws unnecessary attention to himself, Akuma won’t give him a second thought, but we would be able to see the footage and who the Shinigami was following.” He deleted the picture from the camera and returned it to the drawer. “Not much good if we can’t see Akuma’s Shinigami.” He looked around for where Ryuk had wandered off to this time, finding him stealing from Ide’s fruit bowl. “Is there a way for people with the eyes to recognize others with the Death Note? Having the Shinigami do it is too unreliable for my liking. There has to be something else.”
“I told you before, I’ve got no idea,” Ryuk said. He dropped the core of an apple into his mouth, chewing loud enough to make Ide wince. “Do you want to take the eyes to find out?”
“I’ll pass,” Aizawa said. “Half my lifespan is not worth the possibility Akuma just trusts her Shinigami a lot. I’m guessing no amount of bribery would have you following Matsuda and reporting any Shinigami sightings to me?”
“Nope.”
“It was worth a shot.” He massaged his temples. “Well, at least I know where to avoid. That should be easy enough. Besides the occasional errand, I’m only between work, here, and home.”
Ide chuckled. “Truly, the pinnacle of a social life.” He tried to continue laughing, but a distinct melancholy hung heavy in the air. “It felt different before. It was always you and me, and sometimes the others when we could. But we can’t talk to them now. Among the task force, Matsuda at least used to go out for drinks with Ukita and Mogi, but Mogi has his daughter to look after, and Ukita is…”
“I know.” Aizawa rested a hand on Ide’s low back. “I know.”
They stayed that way for a while, staring down at the remains of their evidence. A copy of the diary page lay out on the table in Ide’s handwriting, all the important dates to remember.
“My friend and I showed off our notebooks in Aoyama…” Aizawa’s eyes widened. “Ide, that’s it.”
Ide looked up in surprise. “What?”
“Showing off notebooks in Aoyama. Look here,” he pointed to the list of instructions. “On the 23rd, the instructions listed for Kira to be eating pork curry rice. That could be a red herring, but it could also mean Akuma wants Kira to have a way of confirming their identity. What if Akuma wants to confirm her identity to Kira by having a notebook on hand at or around the Note Blue?”
“The Death Note?”
“Not necessarily. If Akuma has a notebook, that would be a way for us to figure out her identity,” Aizawa said. “And if she doesn’t have one, we would confirm she has another means of confirming Kira’s identity without me knowing. Whether it’s the Shinigami, or it really is something about the eyes. If we can figure out if she intends to meet Kira here or just find Kira, we can make a plan to deal with her.”
A smile slowly spread across Ide’s face. “You’re right.” He straightened when a rapid knock sounded at the door. “Coming!” He was up and moving with more energy than Aizawa had seen in a long time.
That passion was not just matched but surpassed by Matsuda, already through the door the second it was open, a stack of documents in one hand and a bag of takeout in the other. He must have been winding down for the evening when he got the call, his work jacket hastily thrown on over a pair of old jeans and a faded black t-shirt for a band Aizawa didn’t recognize.
Aizawa blinked in surprise, leaning closer to the bag and being met with a heavenly aroma of food, and a bottle of whiskey. “What’s that for?”
“Dinner, and possibly breakfast.” Matsuda dropped the bag on an empty part of the table. “We’re in for a long night.”
Notes:
About the immediate assumptions about the diary, I showed that page out of context to multiple people, including women, and asked what type of person they think wrote it, and they almost unanimously said college or high school girl. It kind of surprises me Ohba, misogynist extraordinaire, did nothing with that.
In other news, I went to the doctor for something completely unrelated and ended up being prescribed pills for schizophrenia. Not sure why I’m bringing that up, but that feels like some clown shit the AO3 author curse can be blamed for.
Chapter 20
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Remember, Matsuda."
"I know, I know." Matsuda took a few steps back, preventing Aizawa from messing with the hidden camera around his neck, disguised as a simple black charm on a cord. Ide mentioned getting it from one of his old associates he kept in touch with—he may have mistaken the antsy behavior to revolve around that. But that wasn't their current reality. He couldn't afford to make a mistake. "Don't draw any attention to the camera. Not even Light can know, and I have to keep him away from Note Blue."
Ide looked up from his clipboard, containing all the monotonous paperwork for this operation and the equipment to stay under the radar. "And if you can't keep him away from Note Blue?"
"Separate from him, no matter what. If we’re supposed to stay close to each other, he will be distracted looking for me, and Akuma might not think anything of him. Find Akuma before she can—" He had to let that settle in. It tasted bitter on his tongue. He didn’t let himself linger on what-ifs and the unimaginable horrors waiting for them if he failed. “You’re sure I’m looking for a girl about Light’s age? College or high school?”
“Obviously, stay on the lookout for anyone with a notebook,” Aizawa said. “But… yeah. We’re almost certain.”
It had been fun the last ten days, though Matsuda was certain if he said as much, it would come across the wrong way—what could be fun about fighting the monster who murdered Ukita? No matter how many times he tried to rationalize the information Aizawa and Ide gathered, and the reasons for their deductions, it was inconceivable. Or at least, it should be.
He thought having a motive for Akuma would humanize her in some way, but if anything it hardened his resolve. If they were right, and that was Akuma’s motive… calling her human felt like an insult to humanity. So he wouldn’t consider her human. It was easier that way.
Just another monster to take out, like he was trained to do. This one got the jump on Ukita because they were unprepared. That and supernatural power were the only differences between Akuma and any other monster he gunned down.
Was that how Kira classified his victims and justified the killings to himself? That question popped up in the back of Matsuda’s head too many times for comfort, and when woven together with Kira’s goals, it made it impossible for him to classify Kira the same way. Was that unfair? He didn’t think so, but he couldn’t help but doubt himself…
At least if Akuma wasn’t human, it gave him a reason to think about other, more bearable things. Being cared for like he was someone that mattered to the two he wanted to befriend so badly, and included in a secret plan not even L or Superintendent Yagami could know about.
He certainly learned more about Aizawa in the last few days than he had in the months they had worked together. It was a bit weird, if he was honest. He had spent so long looking up to Aizawa as a superior that it was jarring to be met with the realization he was just as fallible as Matsuda was. It really was that easy to bridge the gap between them.
He did wonder, though, why Aizawa insisted their meetings never be at his house. Or why on the evenings he wasn’t already with Ide, Aizawa would go home for the night, then sneak out of his house around midnight to meet up with them and take turns sleeping at routine intervals. It was the same every night—by the time Matsuda was awake, Aizawa would be gone, his place on the couch cleaned up, and back at headquarters like nothing had happened.
He supposed it made sense; Aizawa wanted to spend time with his kids. He brought baby Nozomu on two nights because he was fussing, so it was only logical he went back home in the morning to avoid bringing an infant to work.
But Matsuda had been trained in recognizing odd behavior, and while he would never claim to know Aizawa well, something about the way Aizawa avoided the topic of anything in his home life besides his kids made Matsuda uneasy.
Passing remarks in the banter he overheard between Aizawa and Ide suggested Ide had a poor relationship with Aizawa’s wife, Eriko. Those small pieces together created the image of something darker going on behind closed doors, and Matsuda could feel those uncertainties growing with each passing day, the same way he suspected the truth in the topics Ide dodged about his background.
He and Ide had come to an understanding: he wouldn’t ask about Ide’s previous work, and Ide wouldn’t ask about his. The unspoken pact was initiated more on Ide’s side than on Matsuda’s, but Matsuda didn’t mind. He could read between the lines that it was a carefully worded request not to pry. Would the strain in Aizawa’s home life be the same way?
Matsuda had laid awake on too many nights thinking about the questions directed his way since the transfer. It wasn’t a secret; he knew people had guessed it right. He would have been more open about it, but part of him didn’t want to yet. Rumors and speculation were one thing, but Matsuda had noticed a certain shift in how people treated him once they knew the truth. No one dared say it aloud, but it was like they couldn’t see him anymore when they looked at him—like his entire personality had been an act, and he was something to be respected or feared.
He lost a lot of friends that way in the early days. That was why when he was transferred to the NPA, he let them speculate. Pretended not to hear their questions, or if he did, he acted like it was funny to play coy.
Ukita had asked him before, and Matsuda always found a way to dance around it. He danced around it until the day Ukita died.
What would have happened if he had told Ukita? If he had told Ukita the truth about what he was, would Ukita have brought him along to Sakura TV? Could Matsuda have prevented his death if he had been honest, or would they both be dead?
He didn’t know. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to.
“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let us take the subway.”
Light’s voice pulled Matsuda back to the present. How long had he been in his own head? “Too many excuses to have an umbrella.” He caught himself when he realized he said that too fast, looking up at the sky, at the grey cloud cover and light rain. Good. Light wouldn’t think he was too paranoid and speaking nonsense. “I’m sure it’s nothing, but with Akuma and Kira and the religious movements around them, I don’t want to take any chances.”
Light raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”
I can’t mess this up. I can’t mess this up. Light definitely thought he was insane, but that was all right. That was okay. When the case was over, or even just when Light was finally cleared, they could tell him everything.
He thought the explanation of why they couldn’t tell the others was odd at first, but Ide was right. The possibility that Akuma could notice Light and use him as leverage was too terrifying to risk, and it would be easy for L to get the wrong idea and put Light in even more danger.
He didn’t think that chance was very high of L getting the wrong idea, but they had no way of knowing the angle Akuma would take. So if the chance existed at all, he had no intention of putting Soichiro or Light through that.
“It’s good to get away from the investigation for a little while,” Matsuda said. “I was starting to think I would never get a break.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked, glancing around from time to time. “What’s going on with you? Made any friends at university?”
Light turned away from the poster he had been staring at. “Hm? Yeah, I made some friends. I was actually going to bring a group of them to better hide and come up with a story that you’re my cousin. But it would be harder to investigate subtly if we needed to diverge from the group.”
“Cousin?” Matsuda stepped closer to the poster to read it. It was a poster promoting a concert for Misa-Misa in a few weeks. If he remembered correctly from the tabloid magazines, she was a rising idol who went independent after the recent dissolution of her group, Ichigo Berry. “Do you have any cousins?”
Light nodded. “I don’t know much about them, or anyone on Dad’s side of the family,” he said. “But neither does anyone else, so it’s a plausible excuse.”
“The Chief has always been pretty quiet about that. Does anyone know about him before he joined the NPA?” He turned away from the poster, putting it from his mind. “Everyone from the Academy knows about him, and how he graduated at eighteen, when most people would be joining. No one knows how that was possible.”
“Hard work and sleepless nights, from what he told me. He didn’t recommend it,” Light said. “I wish I could say I know more than you do, but… I don’t.” He bit down on his bottom lip, keeping his head down so his bangs curtained off his eyes. “Dad’s past has always been touchy with anyone except Mom, so I never asked. It’s not like he’s hiding it, but I get the feeling he would rather not say anything.” He kicked a rock at his feet, and Matsuda watched it skip along the street. “Whatever happened in the past is why Dad is so protective of me now. I know I’m a suspect, but Dad still seems against me being here.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you belong here.” Matsuda put on his brightest grin. “The Chief’s just worried because he loves you. He talks about you all the time—how proud he is of you and your abilities. He just doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”
Light cracked a smile. “You say that like he doesn’t talk about you the same way.”
Matsuda had to catch himself from tripping over his own feet in a truly embarrassing fashion. “What?”
“Yeah. He’s mentioned it a few times,” Light said. “He was worried about how you would adjust after the transfer, but you’re coming along really well.” His brow furrowed, cocking his head to the side. “Transfer from where exactly?”
“Just another faction,” Matsuda said quickly. “We get shuffled around where we’re needed. It’s really not a big deal.” He noticed Light’s eyes flitting around in either direction. He could be searching for Akuma, but it almost looked like Light was biting his tongue. “Is something wrong?” Does he know?
Light sighed. “It might be nothing, but I’ve been thinking about the diary Akuma wrote. Specifically, the entry about Aoyama.” He looked away, clearing his throat. He rubbed the back of his neck, and Matsuda noticed his fingers digging into the muscles along his spine. Did his neck hurt? “I haven’t talked to Ryuzaki about it yet. Would you mind if I bounced ideas off of you?”
Matsuda lit up. Light’s asking me? “Yeah—Yeah! I’m honored you would talk to me before Ryuzaki.” He hoped Light didn’t notice the slight flush on his face when Ryuzaki came to mind. He was just incredible, and that was why it stung that Aizawa and Ide were trusting him less and less. Still… was it egocentric to feel a bit special that multiple people he admired had come to him before Ryuzaki? “What is it?”
“Do you remember what the diary entry said?” Light asked. “‘My friend and I showed off our notebooks in Aoyama.’ Does that not sound weird to you?”
Matsuda did his best to not sound as pathetic as he felt. “I’ll be honest, Light, I don’t really have friends my age.” My last one was murdered a month ago. “I wrote it off as a social thing I don’t know about.”
Light chuckled. “I’m the same way. Most of your friends are older, right?” Matsuda felt the tension lift a little, and he relaxed enough that Light continued. “My point is, I don’t have as much of a connection to people my age, but I’ve always had positive acquaintances, and showing off notebooks isn’t something I’ve ever heard of someone doing. So I looked into it last night, and I learned about a concert at that jazz club down the way, Note Blue.” He gestured a few blocks ahead, where a small crowd had formed at the entrance. “Ao means blue, and the mention of notebooks makes me think that’s the intended meeting place.”
Damnit. Damnit! This was what they were supposed to avoid! Matsuda beamed through it, praying Light wouldn’t see. “That has to be where Akuma is!” He turned to run, but Light grabbed his sleeve to stop him.
“That’s a possibility, and we should investigate it, but that’s not what I’m worried about,” Light said. He maintained his grip on Matsuda’s sleeve until he stopped trying to pull away. “Why did Akuma keep that hidden in code? Notebooks are so out of place. It would be one thing if there were a code only people with their power would understand, but showing off their notebooks? It’s so weird that I almost feel like I’m overthinking it, and it’s a coincidence. If this were a code, wouldn’t Akuma want it to sound natural?”
“Good point. It might not be worth considering.” Could he use this to his advantage? “I'll go, and we can see if we find anyone with notebooks! You can...” He looked around for something to distract Light with. He spotted the bookstore about a block away. If ever there was a place to find notebooks, that would be it. I need to be separated from Light. Would that work? “Look around the rest of Aoyama for notebooks. Akuma is pretty stupid. If they made a code, then surely someone as smart as you can find it. Worst case, we have a chance in Shibuya in a few days.”
“I doubt we would find Akuma.” Light crossed his arms. “Even if you’re right, and the code really is that simple, for all we know, Kira is the only one able to narrow down Akuma in the crowd. In a place like Note Blue, the meeting would be completely discreet.” He rested his hand under his chin. “However… if anything changes in the days after this, that means we’re on the right track and can strictly view footage in the surrounding area to find our suspects.”
“Still, it doesn’t hurt to look around.” He grabbed Light’s wrist and pulled him in the direction of the Note Blue, counting the seconds until he was mingled enough into the crowd that he could pretend his hand slipped, leaving Light behind as Matsuda disappeared from his sight.
He made sure he had blended in past any hope of Light finding him before he slowed down from a run to a walk, looking up at the sky and the rainfall, then back to the people. He held his breath and pressed forward, pretending not to hear Light calling his fake name.
Within mere minutes of being alone, he was grateful that he had separated from Light. It had always been his greatest fault, being so excited by the companionship…
That he would miss the scope of a sniper trained on him.
He could feel it now. Not a real scope. Not a real laser. Not a real gun aimed at his head. But when he turned his head to the cafe, it may as well have been.
There was a girl dressed in a high school uniform, sitting alone at one of the tables on the other side of the large window. His eyes scanned over the table in an instant, but there was nothing, save for a glass of iced tea. The girl looked unassuming enough, with black hair cut into a bob, and glasses he guessed she had for a while.
But it was the way she stared into the crowd, hands resting on either side of her face, fingers pressed against the edges of her glasses, that made him need to fight the hand raising to his throat. It took him a moment to pinpoint exactly what unnerved him so much: it was her eyes.
“I don’t think you have the eyes, but I won’t kill you.”
He went into the cafe at the most natural point to do so, watching the girl from a different angle while looking away enough to pretend he wasn’t. She didn’t notice him—she never moved from staring directly ahead. He could see her regardless. Her eyes were open too wide, whites fully exposed and rarely blinking. Some would say it bordered on the uncanny valley, but for Matsuda, he had seen that look far too many times in his line of work.
Those were the eyes of a person with a target, and the eyes of someone willing to kill.
He could be paranoid. He was probably paranoid. But she was alone, staring into the crowd of people outside and never taking her eyes off them. He had heard of people-watching before, but the chance his gut feeling was wrong wasn’t worth turning away.
“Excuse me?” He stepped closer to her, waving in an ill-fated attempt to get her attention. “Hi, sorry. I hope I’m not bothering you.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m new in town. I’m supposed to be meeting someone for lunch at Kakurebo, but I got a little lost.” He turned his face away, but he kept the hidden camera around his neck trained on her. “Sorry. I just noticed you were alone, and it’s a little less awkward to ask someone alone than to interrupt a group.”
The girl didn’t look away from the crowd. “Don’t worry about it.” She pointed off in the opposite direction from where he came. “It’s on the basement level of a building on Koto Dori in Minami. You’re a little off-base, but it shouldn’t be too far from here.”
“Thanks.” He was about to leave, but her voice came from behind him.
“What’s your name?”
Aizawa had his hands on Matsuda’s shoulders, fingers digging into his biceps and refusing to let him go. “I don’t think you’ll come into contact with Akuma, but whatever you do, don’t lie about your name.”
“What? Why?” He held up the fake police badge L had given him. “We’re supposed to be going by our new aliases.” It rang hollow, even to his own ears. When considering who they were up against, he feared that it wouldn't matter. He didn't dare say those words, but he didn't have to.
“That won’t do you any good against Akuma. She can kill you with only your face.” Aizawa sighed and bowed his head. His voice shook, heavy with unspoken words Matsuda could only assume had once been directed at Ukita. If that was why, Matsuda felt like he owed it to Ukita to listen. “We don’t know what Akuma is fully capable of. For all we know, she could know if you lie about that. Don’t put yourself in a position where someone could ask, but if they do, tell them the truth.”
“Matsuda. My name is Matsuda.” He turned back to the girl. “What about you?”
The girl smiled, finally looking away from the crowd to face him. From this angle, with her eyes open the normal amount, she seemed completely ordinary. Nothing was off about her at all—a little familiar, even, though Matsuda couldn’t place from where. “Tachibana.”
I’m sure Ide can tell me if she lied. “Thanks again, Tachibana.” Matsuda waved as he left. “I’ll see you around.” He hurried out, noticing as he disappeared into the crowd that she had returned to staring dead ahead. He searched behind people and out of the scope’s view until he found Light, sitting on a bench close to the entrance of Note Blue. “Light! Sorry, I lost track of you. Did you notice anything?”
…
Matsuda’s reactions weren’t genuine.
Light smiled politely, concealing how much he enjoyed making Matsuda squirm. He was trying so hard to pull him away from the Note Blue without making it obvious what he was doing. It was funny, in a weird way.
He ultimately relented and allowed Matsuda to pull him somewhere else. It was clear Matsuda didn’t know where he was going, so long as it was anywhere but the Note Blue, or the direction they had come from. He seemed to have gotten it into his head the bookstore would be a natural place to deposit Light.
Matsuda’s carelessness losing track of a “suspect” would have been annoying, but Light knew now what Matsuda was capable of. He wouldn’t be so reckless if he had even the slightest suspicion of Light. Their ruse needed to end soon—they didn’t have much time left until the task force stopped believing L altogether.
He and L could have been more secretive about their fondness for one another, but it was a delicate line they had to walk. If Light showed torment from the suspicion placed on him, L not clearing him could put him in danger. Even mild fondness could be mistaken for politeness and masking his true feelings. The safest option for L was the one where they didn’t hide those feelings, but it was also the one that put their control of the task force into jeopardy.
He would discuss that confirmation with L tonight, but what was more important was the information he gleaned from this little exercise. Matsuda had known about the code Light figured out with L in secret. Neither of them had been certain, so they planned to drop that on the person who volunteered to join him in Aoyama and Shibuya, to see if Matsuda was trying to find Akuma on his own. Knowing that Matsuda was willing to slip away from him was more important than having eyes on him at all times. He could find out where he had gone on the cameras tonight.
The chances of Matsuda being Kira were never high, 15% at their worst, but he had displayed some agreement with Kira’s stances, and that meant he was worth looking into. Now to figure out how L could interrogate him while maintaining his innocent persona and the trust of the task force…
Matsuda hadn’t been gone for long though—not even twenty minutes. That would be enough to find Akuma in the right circumstances, but what was his plan? What was Akuma’s plan? He and L had deduced the possibility that ‘the eyes’ could in some way give people with that power the ability to find one another, but was that right?
Until they had Akuma in their hands, the only way to test that theory was to show everyone’s photos to B and see what happened. But L had a point, B’s eyes were inherently different. He was born with them, and if Kira and Akuma were born with their powers, Kira being an adult would be less likely than it clearly was. No, this was something they could get, and B was the outlier. Regardless of the similarities, it couldn’t be taken as solid data.
Even if they were right and B could tell them Kira’s identity, that was cheating and would erase the challenge of this case if they knew who committed the crime. And it didn’t factor in the problem of having incriminating evidence rely on the word of a serial killer who could easily lie and throw someone under the bus for a reduced sentence.
Light didn’t think B would do such a thing, but even the most desperate among Interpol would be skeptical. Not helping matters was that the task force had become a unit in the months since the Kira case began, and on their own, Aizawa and Ide were inseparable. If they condemned one solely based on the word of Beyond Birthday, the other might kill L. It was a concern with all of them, but those two in particular made it not worth the risk.
If something happened and they needed to consult B again, they would, but B was the last possible resort. Light had agreed when L proposed that compromise to their conundrum, but he couldn’t forget L’s reaction to the things B told him—about L’s true name, spelling and pronunciation. How he had been less bothered by that than he was about the mention of a place called Wammy’s House.
“Be careful around L,” B warned. “If you prove yourself too smart, Watari will keep you close.” He rested his forehead on one of the bars, staring down at the floor away from the numbers over Light’s head. “If something happens to L, you’ll be forced into a life you can only escape in death.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head enough that his hair fell over one eye. His bravado had disappeared, leaving behind nothing more than the husk of a broken man. “Clearly, I myself haven’t even escaped. This is your last chance to run, Moonlight. You’ll thank me.”
L hadn’t been comfortable explaining what he meant, but that was okay for Light. He didn’t care what skeletons L had in his closet, because if given the chance, Light suspected he would have some too. His time with L made his heart race in ways it never had with anyone or anything else. The moment this case began—he moment he met L, his life changed forever. Everything he saw, everything he heard, everything he felt… In a rotten world of all-encompassing monochrome, everything started to take on color.
So what if there was no backing out? Light knew without a doubt he didn’t want to.
…
“Excuse me.” Misa nudged another stranger inside the Note Blue, encouraging them to let her see their face. No… this one has a lifespan too. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”
She had waited patiently in the cafe outside the Note Blue for hours, scanning the crowd for any sign of Kira. But everywhere she looked, there was no sign of him. She searched and searched until she was unable to wait any longer, threw caution to the wind, and entered the Note Blue. Maybe Kira had entered from the other direction, and she simply missed him?
But she had checked almost everyone in the club, and Kira was nowhere to be found. The only person of any significance was that Matsuda guy from earlier, and that was just because she thought for a second her disguise might have slipped. But no, he was just a guy, and she hadn’t seen him since that interaction. His first name had already disappeared from her mind, as had all but the faint shape of his face.
Did Kira not understand her message? He had to have seen and recognized it. He couldn’t be going to the game, could he? That was asking for them both to be caught!
“Misa.” She could barely hear Rem over the music, prompting the Shinigami to fly closer to her. “Kira was very firm when he said he wanted you executed. He is not your ally. Why should you expect him to show up?”
Misa waited to answer until she had left the club, checking over her shoulder to guarantee she wasn’t being followed. “It’s because he’ll want to find me before the police do,” she said. “If he doesn’t trust me anyway, he knows I won’t renounce the notebook until I meet him. Think of it like… he trusts me to do what he doesn’t want me to, and that will make him want to find me. Surely once they talk in person, he’ll understand why I’m doing this and find a use for me.”
She pulled the page of the Death Note from her bra, where she saved it in case of emergencies. This one still had the name Gelus had written in his last moments, of the man who had been destined to end her life. What was she still alive for if not for this?
“We just need to find each other, and everything will be okay.”
Notes:
To anyone wondering why it's always cloudy and raining in this fic when it's usually sunny in canon, I managed to discover the weather in Tokyo during the specific dates this fic takes place in, and it's always gloomy. I feel like that line from "history of the entire world, I guess."
Weather update: It's raining.
Chapter Text
As they had expected, Tachibana didn’t exist. Plenty of girls with that surname existed, but from the databases and school records they managed to obtain with a warrant from the high school her uniform was associated with, none had matched her appearance. It could be she was that unassuming, and the lack of a first name had made them hit a wall, but of everyone Matsuda noticed on his own, and from the cameras around Aoyama, she was the only person of interest.
The pain in Aizawa’s hands from hours of research and writing names had gone up his forearms; his eyelids were so heavy that his head spun the more he fought against it. A semi-conscious awareness of Nozomu in his arms was the only thing keeping his legs from buckling underneath him. I’m pushing myself too hard… He knew that, and anyone could see it, but… I can’t stop. I can’t stop until Akuma is dead.
He was talking before the door to headquarters was fully open. “I am so sorry, Ryuzaki. Yumi had a field trip today, Eriko needed the car, and we couldn’t get a babysitter—”
L chuckled fondly as he caught sight of the infant, and immediately he understood Aizawa’s barely coherent rambling. “It’s no trouble, Aizawa-San. Watari brought supplies in case something like this happened.” He took Nozomu from Aizawa, paying no mind to the wary look Ide shot him, or the fact Nozomu didn’t hesitate to place his tiny hand directly on L’s eyeball. “I would prefer this not to be a regular occurrence, but we’ve worked together for five months and this is the first time it’s happened. You don’t need to be sorry.”
“Thanks…” Aizawa forced his vision to focus enough that he could fumble around the counter and find the coffee machine. Ide’s hand rested on top of his, guiding him to the machine before his body could give up the fight for consciousness and shut down.
L watched them, noticing the dark bags under Aizawa’s eyes he hadn’t tried to hide this time, and how Ide wasn’t faring much better. “How much have you slept?”
“Not much.” Ide raised his head away from his own coffee. “Matsuda’s not doing much better. I don’t think any of us will be satisfied until Akuma is off the streets.”
Matsuda peeked out his head from the other room. “Did someone say my name?” His weary eyes lit up when he noticed Nozomu taking in all the new sights and sounds. “Baby! You brought him in?”
“Yes, we have a guest for today.” L wrapped his foot around the door to the closet, toes curling until he had a sufficient grip to pull it open. He dragged out a silver bag with his free hand that, upon opening, revealed itself to be a portable playpen.
The warming embrace of hot coffee woke Aizawa’s brain enough that he could hurry over to L without collapsing. “Let me help you.” He had never set up one of the newer models, but it was easier than he expected, twisting some pliable wires until it sprung to life, and they could set Nozomu inside with some blocks and colorful plastic balls just big enough he couldn’t put them in his mouth. Not that it stopped him from trying.
Aizawa sighed. At least he’s happy. But as soon as he got up to begin his work and mentally prepare himself for the day, Nozomu began to cry.
“Ah… Sorry, Ryuzaki.” Why was he crying? He hadn’t been able to figure it out. He thought he had all the cues down for the meaning behind certain cries, and then this had been happening for months.
But L didn’t seem annoyed by Nozomu’s tears. He knelt on the floor in his usual squat, watching Nozomu, poking the mesh barrier in a futile attempt to gain the boy’s attention. “How long has he suffered from that?”
“Around the time he started fussing a lot at night,” Ryuk said. He counted on his fingers. “He’s four and a half months old… so almost three months ago.”
“About three months ago,” Aizawa said. He took Nozomu from the playpen and knelt on the floor with L, giving Ide enough solace to at least pretend he was getting to work. “He does it mostly at night, but we can’t figure out what’s causing it. There’s nothing wrong with him.” He had feared his use of the Death Note or his deal with Ryuk had somehow caused it, but Ryuk promised the notebook wouldn’t cause something like that. The main reason Aizawa believed him was Ryuk’s agreement that if he was ever proven wrong, he would find and kill Akuma for him, or any enemy that needed killing next should it come to that—something the Shinigami would never agree to if he had any reason to think he could be wrong.
L’s thumb pressed to his lips, then he seemed to get an idea. “Aizawa-San, has he been exposed to something? I understand your family was greatly impacted by the loss of Ukita-San, but aside from that…” He turned his head, staring Aizawa dead in the eye. “Is there anything he could have seen or heard?”
“No, I—” he paused. He thought L was accusing him of being Kira, but… that look in his eyes wasn’t that of a detective speaking to a person of interest, if he truly was that. That was a look of concern, and he was right to be. Because there was something Nozomu was exposed to. But I can’t tell him the truth. “My wife and I argue about the case sometimes?”
He could tell L knew that wasn’t the full story, but he let it slide. “He’s responding to your home stress, Aizawa-San. It’s quite common for infants to recognize and be impacted by the emotions of a parent, or tension in the environment.” Nozomu shifted in his arms, his eyes drifting closed as he curled himself into a ball. He wasn’t asleep, but he wasn’t crying either. “Seems I was right. When you relax, Nozomu-Kun does as well.”
He… Aizawa pulled Nozomu a little closer, as if to shield him from the world. “I… I had no idea.”
“I want to try something with him that might help him sleep.” L held out his arms. “Can I take him? It will only be a minute.”
Aizawa warily looked to Ide to see his opinion, but Ide seemed to have about the same sentiment as Aizawa himself did. This had nothing to do with the Kira case. For as much as they had grown to be cautious of L, if he could help Nozomu, there was no reason not to let him try. “Go ahead.”
L nodded. He got up and walked into his bedroom with Nozomu in his arms. Aizawa waited until he was out of sight and the bedroom closed before he let the revelation sink in, holding his head in his hands. “Never a dull moment on the Kira case.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not the one who chose to expose him to all of this.” Aizawa raised his head to look up, finding Soichiro sitting in an armchair beside the lamp, reading over the documents of the Aoyama and Shibuya investigations. He tried to offer a reassuring smile, but Aizawa could see what wasn’t being said on account of Matsuda’s presence.
All it did was worsen the gnawing from the ever-present gaping hole in his chest. Why? Why? Why was it that every time he thought he had everything accounted for, something else would rear its ugly head and remind him he was nowhere close to making the world a better place? What was next? Akuma sending another message—
Beep. Beep.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Watari’s voice came from the computer. “Ryuzaki, Sakura TV has received a message from Akuma. The postmark is the 24th.”
Soichiro almost jumped from his seat. “Again?!”
“Did Akuma send another message?” Aizawa craned his neck to see over his shoulder, finding Light coming out of… L’s bedroom? L came out next to him with Nozomu swaddled in a hoodie, the sleeves acting as a tie to keep him secure in the oversized garment. “Let him free if he squirms, but I read that swaddling can calm babies down. We had to improvise.”
Ryuk nodded along with everything Light said. “Yeah, that’s all that happened. Don’t worry, they didn’t wiretap the baby or anything.”
“Light, why were you in Ryuzaki’s room?” Ide asked.
“Because I stayed over last night,” Light said. “We had an exam to study for, and I’m a suspect. I might as well stay close to him.” He shrugged, ignoring the reactions in various degrees of bemusement and resigned acceptance. “I woke up twenty minutes ago.”
“That’s not our priority at the moment,” L said. He looked between the playpen and Aizawa before settling on laying Nozomu in Aizawa’s lap. “Watari, can you send over the files?”
“They should be downloading now.”
What did Akuma want this time? He had avoided the listed locations like he would the black death, so he could take solace in knowing she wouldn’t announce that she found him. Was that was this was about? The fact she didn’t find him?
Was she going to blackmail him again?
“Kira, you’ve been quiet. I wanted to be sure you’ve gotten my message,” Akuma said. “I understand I upset you, and it is my sincerest belief that if we just talk to one another, you will understand. I don’t mind if you use me, believe me.” He picked up on the slightest tremor in her voice. “If you can’t trust me no matter what, then take my killing power. You can kill me if I become a burden.”
“‘Take my killing power’?” Light echoed. “Does that mean this is something that can be taken or passed around?”
“We knew Kira and Akuma had the ability to renounce their power,” L said. “From the way they’re talking, Akuma could be referring to that, or ‘take my killing power’ could be a more subtle way of conveying the assertion Kira has free rein to kill them.” He leaned forward in his seat beside the laptop. “But the possibility of passing around the killing power is something we should look into. It could help us down the line.”
Aizawa was positive Nozomu was the only reason he hadn’t started screaming profanities. Does she not realize L will see these?! No, she has to know this is blackmail. Every time she opened her mouth, she gave the detectives more clues. First Shinigami eyes, and now this?
Akuma claims she will let me kill her, but I know that’s a lie. She might not think it is, but she wouldn’t accept if I said she was a burden from the moment she inserted herself into this world. The world of Shinigami, of the Death Note, was a choice someone had to make, and Akuma had shown exactly the kind of person she was. She would probably take offense at him considering her on the same level as the people he killed and find ways to justify her actions, and go on about how he should forgive her regardless of the harm she caused.
Didn’t that sound familiar?
Matsuda read over some notes he must have taken on the new message. “Asking if Kira understood the message like that… Are they seriously going through with going to the dome?”
“No. This confirms what we suspected, that there were secret messages in the diary,” Ide said. “This means Kira didn’t show up, or if he did, Akuma wasn’t able to find him.” He crossed his arms, consciously keeping his voice and frustrations mitigated when he caught Nozomu half-asleep in his peripheral vision. “I’m only suggesting the latter because of the postmark.”
“Right. The 22nd in Aoyama, the 24th in Shibuya… so far there’s no evidence that anything happened,” Aizawa said. “A postmark on the 24th means it was probably done after the meetup in Shibuya didn’t work out. If Kira found Akuma in secret and already dealt with it, we wouldn’t have any way of knowing.” He had never been fully convinced about the meeting in Shibuya having any merit without any clues for a meeting spot besides the vague mention of clothing stores, but the postmark proved otherwise. He might have to do another runthrough of the clothing stores in Shibuya to see if there were any that stood out.
“That is an interesting possibility, and one that is worth testing.” L stirred some sugar into his coffee, tapping the side of the cup with his spoon, which made a soft clinking sound. “We can’t say for sure, but the scenario in which Kira may have obtained ‘the eyes’ or had the experience necessary to take out Akuma without Akuma realizing is certainly plausible.”
Light frowned slightly. “Can we really consider that? We have to remember Kira hates Akuma and wants them captured. Wouldn’t Kira have said something if he killed Akuma?”
If only he had been able to do that. If he were able to get close to Akuma himself, he would be able to investigate and kill her easily. But if they were right, and this was a young woman, one word to Eriko would have L as the least of his problems. He had no choice but to follow the case closely and snatch the Death Note at the first opportunity, because once L figured out Akuma’s identity, the window for killing her would close forever, or at least until he could come up with a way to shut her up without drawing suspicion.
This was awful… why did someone have to show up and ruin a perfectly passable thing he had going? Ide couldn’t get in contact with this girl either because he didn’t have the Death Note—the same thing that protected Matsuda in Aoyama made it impossible to bridge the gap. That wasn’t accounting for the unfortunate hunches about what she wanted, and the prospect of scorched earth should he refuse.
The thought alone had him holding Nozomu closer to him, focusing on his breathing and the calmed coos of his child. But doing that only strengthened his need to see this girl dead. Boiling water coursed under his skin, a fire lit underneath him that wouldn’t rest with their fervent thoughts of loathing until she was dead.
It was half of the reason he couldn’t sleep, overwhelmed with how much he despised Akuma’s existence. Hated the way she talked, the way she breathed, every little thing she did or could do that never failed to ruin everything. The dawning reality that she was a threat to his children was the line that turned righteous anger into a loathing so intense he could never hope to put it into words. It was a rush, but not the good kind—the kind that made him nauseous the longer she plagued his thoughts better occupied by other things.
All he could think of was the promise that if he came within reach of her, she would not make it to trial or to her execution.
I need to put Nozomu down. He doesn’t deserve to be impacted by this. He rested Nozomu in the playpen, his thoughts wandering briefly away from his hatred as Ryuk settled on the other side of the mesh wall to observe him, and subtly play with him when no one was looking.
“We should check all the footage surrounding the Note Blue to see if there’s anything we can glean from that,” Light said. “It could have been a coincidence, but this video proves Akuma isn’t stupid enough to think going to the game is a good idea.”
L nodded. “Yes. That is what I will spend my time doing tonight.”
Going through that much footage would take hours. “Ryuzaki, you plan on reviewing all the tapes of Aoyama on the 22nd by yourself?” Aizawa asked, not hiding the worry in his tone. Matsuda had mentioned seeing L asleep in his chair a few times, but from the way he described it, it was less sleep and more that he had passed out.
“No. Light-Kun will be with me,” L said. “We can cross-reference the areas he and Matsuda-San searched together, in contrast to anywhere Akuma could be hiding.” He set down his coffee cup and moved to refill it. “If there are no results from either Aoyama or Shibuya, the only event left in the diary is the 30th at the Tokyo Dome, and by that point, we’re out of luck.”
Soichiro straightened in his seat. “Does that mean Light is cleared? Light went to the Note Blue, and Akuma is suggesting they didn’t find Kira. They could have missed each other in all of Aoyama, but not in that confined of one area.”
Light smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. Aizawa noticed it as Light’s hand ran over his arm. “Light? Are you okay?”
Light’s smile fell, revealing it for the facade it was. “It’s nothing. Nothing…” his eyes fell to the floor. “Akuma didn’t find Kira in Aoyama or Shibuya. They didn’t…”
Soichiro grimaced. “Light…” he rested his hand on Light’s shoulder, pulling him up from his seat and into the other room where they couldn’t be heard.
L sighed as he watched them go. “The stress must be getting to Light-Kun.”
“You should clear him already,” Ide said firmly. “Everyone knows you barely suspect him.”
Matsuda chimed in. “Yeah! We’ve all known it for a while. The Chief’s right—Akuma not finding Kira confirms it’s not Light.”
“In any other circumstances, I may agree…” L reached for one of the pastries on the table, then pulled his hand back. “But I can’t shake the possibility Kira may have found Akuma but not vice versa, or they could have missed each other due to timing.” He looked up to the group, assessing their reactions. “Light is highly intelligent, which makes clearing him astronomically more difficult than one would expect. Any time I believe he has an airtight alibi, something comes up that makes it possible for him.” He hesitated, almost like he were weighing if he should continue talking. “At this point, my game is proving Light isn’t Kira more so than proving he is, but I can’t ignore the suspicion and details that pushed me toward him. I don’t want Light to be Kira…”
Aizawa softened despite himself. No matter his apprehensions about the detective, this at least seemed genuine. “Well, yeah. You’re clearly friends.” That might be an understatement. From what Aizawa had seen, a better world may have let them be partners. “I don’t know what I would do if I had to suspect Ide.”
“Friends…?” L chuckled somberly. “That would make him my first true friend.”
Ryuk cracked his neck with the force he whipped around. “Whoa!”
L bowed his head, hiding his eyes behind his bangs. “It is my greatest wish to find someone I could share… an honest conversation with. No secrets, no lies. With someone who understands and respects what I’m doing. Someone who would give me a chance. Light could be that person.” He drank his coffee as if to distract himself. “I hope that day comes soon, but right now there are too many things in the way to be comfortable clearing him.” Before anyone could attempt to console him, L raised his head and smiled, an almost taunting glint in his eyes. “But don’t worry. I’m sure we will find evidence to prove his innocence once we capture Akuma.”
Unease settled into Aizawa’s gut. Just when he was starting to lower his guard, L looked at him like that, and brought with it the distinct feeling L knew far more than he was letting on.
That feeling was only confirmed when, the next evening, the expedited analysis of hair samples found on the newest tape had a single match, to a girl who was investigated in the brutal murder of her parents in the Kansai region: Misa Amane.
L smirked as he read the results. “Well, then. I believe it’s time for the police to go in and take a look. See if you can find any matches.” He looked up and to the surrounding officers. “Make sure to wear body-cams, so I can see what is happening for later analysis.”
Aizawa’s breath caught in his throat, doing his best not to let on the pounding in his chest or the dark spots in his vision. He didn’t expect it would happen like this, let alone so soon.
This was it, now or never. He had to get the Death Note.
OoOoO
Matsuda had the door open with a Halligan bar faster than anyone could process he had one, let alone ask him if he needed help. The sun was barely coming up over the city, and it was only through gaining access to Amane’s work schedule that they knew they weren’t in for a fight. That didn’t prevent any of them from wearing helmets tinted so that not even ‘the eyes’ could see through them.
The plan was simple: find the evidence. If they discovered a match to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that there hadn’t been an error in forensics, Misa Amane would be arrested mid-afternoon after her photoshoots ended for the day.
Aizawa’s thoughts were going a million miles a second, preparing himself for every potential outcome. This was a modest apartment, and it was unlikely she would bring the Death Note with her to work. But what if her Shinigami chose to stay behind? What if the Shinigami acted aggressively to intruders and attacked the others? What if the body-cams gave L more evidence against him? What if Matsuda or Mogi found the Death Note—?
Three squeezes on his hand. Aizawa snapped from his thoughts, and though he couldn’t see Ide’s face, he knew what Ide was thinking, and it allowed him to let out his breath, and settle into the tenuous calm of a high-stress situation with a set outcome. He and Ide knew what to look for. Mogi and Matsuda didn’t. They could cover for one another, even with the cameras on them.
“Mogi and I take the main room, Aizawa and Ide take the bedroom?” Matsuda offered. He shrugged, as if to dampen the impact that he had started giving an order. “More ground to cover in the bedroom, probably.”
Aizawa didn’t mind. “Sounds good.” Though he had to wonder, why was Matsuda so comfortable taking charge? It was startling, seeing the shift in Matsuda’s tone and demeanor to that of a man who had a job and would complete it, no matter what he had to do in the process.
He was inside before Mogi could give his opinion on the arrangement, finding Amane’s bedroom and being immediately met by a small black cat scratching at the heavy-duty covering over his pants that barely took more than a superficial scratch worth of damage.
Ide gently picked up the cat despite its hissing and scratching. “We’re not going to hurt you.” He turned so his body-cam was facing away from Aizawa, giving him the chance to search for their target, finding assortments of stage cosmetics and an alarming number of disguises, from fake glasses to multiple wigs, one of which being the identical hairstyle to the girl Matsuda encountered in Aoyama.
He took note of it, but hesitated before collecting it. “Do you think she could have been wearing a disguise?”
“It’s possible,” Ide said. He gestured to the box he had set on the floor within both of their reach. “Collect them, just in case.”
Aizawa took the wigs and carefully put them in the box. He would have preferred Matsuda confirm it first to avoid raising any suspicion, but calling him in could raise alarms for L regarding their secret investigations in Aoyama. He focused instead on the video equipment under the bed, and the ink and stamps in the desk. The diary paper would probably be in the same place as the Death Note…
His intuition proved correct when he moved away from the vanity and to the locked drawer of the nightstand. He found the key between the mattress and the box spring, and found exactly what he was searching for. There it was, the Death Note, sitting beside her diary.
He made sure not to have that visible on his camera, turning his body back to point at the vanity. How do I get this? He called over to Ide, who was searching the closet. “Have you found anything?”
Ide turned his head, noticing the nightstand open and realizing what that meant. “Yeah. Come take a look at this.”
Aizawa spun himself while still on his knees, using the split second with his chest facing Ide and his back to the notebook to swipe it from the drawer and stuff it into the back of his pants. Horribly uncomfortable, but effective until he was able to stand and have a believable reason to adjust the bulletproof vest he was wearing and shift the notebook under that instead.
Once he was satisfied with that, he approached Ide and the cat. “What did you find?”
“Well, cat hair was mentioned in the findings on the tape, and Kuro here matches the description of a black Bombay cat.” Ide scratched behind Kuro’s ears, which, while the cat was still clearly displeased, had decided if the battle couldn’t be won, pets were begrudgingly acceptable. A silver charm around his neck had the name imprinted on it. “I managed to gather some of his hair that got stuck on my gloves. But besides that,” he gestured to the clothing, which varied wildly from gothic Lolita to white cargo pants, and a sizeable amount in between. “We’ll need to check with forensics to be sure, but the chances of finding a match to the clothing fibers are likely too.”
Good. Aizawa tried to relax, but he couldn’t settle the last of his nerves. Amane’s Shinigami wasn’t here, and Ryuk was standing guard outside, but they weren’t out of the woods yet. What would happen if the Shinigami could somehow sense the notebook had been disturbed and came to investigate? He had to keep the Shinigami from finding him, but he still had the microphone and cameras! I can’t do anything until those are disabled, but what if the Shinigami shows up and sees the others and kills them all? This could be bad. This could be bad.
He was about to leave and take the evidence when he was almost toppled over by Matsuda slamming into him. “Hey, watch it!”
“Sorry!” The awkwardness didn’t diminish the excitement radiating off him. “You won’t believe what I just found!” Matsuda grabbed Aizawa’s wrist and dragged him through the apartment, Ide hurrying after them into a room that Aizawa recognized instantly as being intended for music composition. “I was looking through here for any clues, and,” he reached up to one of the shelves, pulling hard against it until the shelf detached from the wall, revealing itself as a fake exterior on top of a secret compartment. He reached into the compartment and pulled out an envelope of neatly folded paper. “Should we see?”
We don’t have time for this. He didn’t get the chance to say anything, as Mogi came in. “Sure. We should check if that’s actual evidence.” Mogi paused when he noticed the cat, and without a word, took Kuro from Ide. Aizawa watched in amazement as Kuro settled down instantly, purring with his head on Mogi’s shoulder.
Ide chuckled. “Maybe we should have let you handle the cat.” He looked at Matsuda, having opened the unsealed envelope, and was reading over the contents. “What is it?”
“It’s song lyrics.” Matsuda lifted his helmet just enough for one eye to be exposed, his brows furrowing as he read over the sheet. “Okay. This could be nothing, or this could be damning evidence.”
“We’ll run it by Ryuzaki,” Aizawa said. “Otherwise, I’ve got no interest in getting a glimpse into the artistic mind of Akuma.” It came across with more venom than he intended, but it took everything he had not to constantly be glancing over his shoulder for any sign of the Shinigami.
Matsuda rubbed the back of his neck. “This might be stupid, but… I want to check if there’s any hidden codes in the notes. Does anyone know how to read sheet music?”
Aizawa groaned, holding out his hand. “Give it here, Matsuda. I’ll check.” He looked around, finding the keyboard at the far end of the room. His hand twitched, taking the sheet music from Matsuda and bringing it over.
He made a conscious effort not to read the lyrics, but from the notes and the time signature… it had the potential to be a beautiful piece. His hand moved down to the keyboard, finding the keys that came as naturally as he would feel returning to a place he could call home.
He hummed in time with the music to keep his place, scanning through and letting his hand move of its own accord until he was satisfied. “Nope. There isn’t anything in the sheet music.” It was only then that he felt the eyes of the others pressing into him. “What?” Did the Death Note slip out of my vest?
Matsuda was staring at him in full-blown disbelief. “You’re a pianist?!”
Oh. Aizawa stepped away from the keyboard. “Was. I haven’t been allowed to play for real in years.” He held up the papers. “But I can still read sheet music. I guess old habits die hard.”
“What do you mean ‘allowed to’ play?” Mogi asked.
“Life hasn’t allowed me to.” He waved it off, walking past them with the envelope in his hands. I need to calm down. I’m getting careless. “Between working for the NPA and raising two kids, I haven’t exactly found the time.”
Matsuda chased after him as he went to leave. “We should have the time once we catch Kira. Maybe we can take a day off together,” he said. “I want to hear what you playing ‘for real’ sounds like.”
“Probably rusty, but…” he stopped in the doorway, checking the street for any curious onlookers, grateful to find it was early enough in the morning not to worry about that. “Sure. When this is all over, I’ll see if I can pick it up again.” He hurried down the stairs with his part of the evidence, opening the door to the truck for the others to join him. “Are you coming? We got what we needed.”
It only took a couple of minutes for the others to finalize their collection of evidence and join him downstairs, but it felt like an eternity, waiting for every little thing they needed so they could get out of this place and return to the NPA headquarters. Ryuk watched him the entire time, not speaking, just watching in a manner that made the silence all the more unsettling.
Matsuda was the first to start taking off his gear, including the body-cam, giving everyone else the opening to deactivate theirs and follow suit. Aizawa could feel a weight leaving him beyond the literal one. He was known to keep the bulletproof vest on a little longer than he had to because he hated exposing skin around others—no one would bat an eye at that. We’re almost in the clear. We’ll be okay.
Ide put on another pair of gloves to gather boxes of evidence, besides the cat that remained seated in Mogi’s lap. “I’ll take everything down to the lab and ask them to expedite the results,” he said. “We all know what they’re going to find, but might as well hurry this along so she can be arrested before dinner.”
“Do you need help?” Mogi asked.
“I’ve got it.” Ide bounced the stacked boxes with his leg. “I’ll meet you back at headquarters.”
Matsuda waved goodbye. “See you there!” He turned back to Aizawa and Mogi. “We should do something to celebrate. Got any ideas, Mogi?” Mogi quietly shook his head, but Matsuda didn’t seem to mind. “It’s a little weird working with you again. We’ve barely had time to hang out since you started investigating the Kitamura family.”
He almost forgot Mogi had been doing that for the last few weeks. “The family was cleared, right?” Mogi nodded. “How did that go?”
“Fine. Kaede’s a good kid,” Mogi said quietly. His hand moved back and forth, petting Kuro. “I’m… not cut out for that kind of work. Don’t tell Ryuzaki, but Director Kitamura knew what was going on. He let me drop the whole pretending to be L thing around the time Superintendent Yagami had a heart attack.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Aizawa said. “Well, you don’t have to do it anymore. We’ll figure out something for you that you’re comfortable with.” He got up from his seat, stretching to ease the ache in his muscles. “I’m going to make sure Ide doesn’t need help. You guys should go back and let Ryuzaki know we’re probably going forward with the arrest.”
Matsuda grinned. “See you at headquarters! Remember to take off the vest.”
“I will once I’ve changed.” Aizawa hurried through the building searching for Ide with Ryuk flying behind him. Everything was going well enough, but he didn’t have much time until Amane’s Shinigami could sense something amiss. He needed to figure out what to do with this notebook.
He found Ide coming up the stairs from forensics. As soon as they made eye contact with one another, they rushed upstairs into their office, shutting and locking the door behind them.
Ide kept his voice low. “Did you get the notebook?”
“Yeah, I got it.” Aizawa removed the bulletproof vest, causing the Death Note to fall onto the floor without a fight. Aizawa wiped it down to remove any fingerprints from the cover before presenting it for Ide to take. “Ryuk. You mentioned before that you stole the Death Note I’m using from another Shinigami. Can you steal this one and send Amane’s Shinigami back to your realm?”
“Nope. That notebook is still owned by a human,” Ryuk said. “If she were to renounce it and then it were given to me, then I could do it. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be rid of the Shinigami if they choose to come back with another notebook.” He held up a large, clawed hand. “I’ve got five notebooks—I got them off the Old Man or stole them from others. Any Shinigami could probably do the same if they wanted.”
Aizawa grimaced. L never failed to cause things to shift from slow to breakneck speeds without any warning—once he had a lead, he spared no time, and that was one of the things Aizawa respected him for. But it came with a downside. He had dedicated so much of his time to helping catch Akuma that he hadn’t been able to figure out what to do about the Shinigami once he had his hands on Akuma’s Death Note. “That could be a serious problem,” he said. “So we need to keep the Shinigami somewhere they can be found relatively easily, but not tied to Amane and especially not around the rest of the task force. That would give us more time to make a plan.”
“Couldn’t we just burn the notebook?” Ide asked. “There’s no rule against doing that.”
“If we do that, it would instantly forfeit Amane’s memory of being Akuma,” Aizawa said. “That would make sure she doesn’t keep blackmailing me or tell L everything she knows…” He took the notebook from Ide and opened it, within seconds finding Ukita’s name written in swirly cursive. “I hate her, but that’s too cruel.” He offered to let Ide see the page, but he turned away from it. “It could also make prosecuting her more difficult, and give the Shinigami more time to steal another Death Note to come after us.”
“You’re right.” Ide crossed his arms, tapping his fingers against his bicep. “If she could be prosecuted and executed quickly, we could burn the Death Note without issue. The Shinigami might come after us for revenge, but it also might give up if Amane’s dead. But even when Interpol’s desperate, they love taking an unreasonable amount of time with Death Row, just to torture the prisoners.” He hesitantly looked to Aizawa. “You’re planning to do something about that, right?”
“I was going to do it once the Aum Shinrikyo trials finally ended,” Aizawa said. “I haven’t decided if that includes waiting for them all to run out of appeals—I don’t want the courts to overcorrect and remove the appeal system.” That wasn’t what they should be discussing. “We need to keep the Shinigami away from us, so we can’t burn the notebook until Amane is dead.”
“But we can’t kill Amane since L plans to keep the arrest a secret to avoid worldwide panic,” Ide finished for him. “We could try using the notebook to make her commit suicide, but we don’t want L to clue in that Kira can kill with other methods.” He bit down on his index finger until Aizawa swatted it away. “I wish we could sleep on this. The only option I can think of is giving the notebook to someone who would play along but get caught easily.” He straightened the more he thought about it. “Someone who would use the notebook for their own benefit, like a scumbag businessman, who could have something to gain from sticking close to Kira’s MO.”
Aizawa leaned back against the corner of his desk. “Amane already confirmed to L that the power can be taken, and suggested it could be passed around. It wouldn’t be a stretch for L to conclude Amane did what Kira told her to and renounced her killing power once she was captured, even if the replacement doesn’t have ownership.” He bit down on the inside of his cheek. “So create another Akuma to keep L and the Shinigami busy, close enough to my MO that Amane can still be convicted as the real Akuma.” Why was he genuinely considering this? “We would have a head start in finding them before they cause too much damage, because we would already know it’s a different person.”
But they had no way of knowing how many undeserving people would pay the price.
The last thing he wanted was the Death Note in the hands of another scumbag. That was the reason he kept the notebook in the first place, wasn’t it?
So why couldn’t he bring himself to refuse this plan? It went against everything he stood for; it was putting people in danger, but… it would give him an advantage keeping the Shinigami out of the way, and if he played his cards right, the Shinigami might play along, thinking this was a way to deviate suspicion away from Amane, unaware it was helping seal her fate.
This could blow up in their faces, and he felt sick doing it, but he placed the notebook into Ryuk’s hands. “Give the notebook to some scumbag who would stick close to my MO—maybe a little deviation to plant the idea it’s not me, but not enough to think Akuma is still out there,” he said. “Once Amane’s Shinigami finds out what happened, make sure they stay there.”
Ryuk groaned. “All right, Shuichi. But you owe me an apple for this. One of those expensive ones.”
The economy’s getting better, but all apples are expensive. He knew what Ryuk meant, and this wasn't the time to explore technicalities that could spare his wallet. Money he could earn more of. Lives could never be replaced, and if saving lives meant finding him the most expensive apples on the market, so be it. “Fine.”
Ryuk flew off through the window, and Aizawa’s knees almost buckled underneath him, landing in his chair. His hands were shaking above his head. “The notebook’s off our hands for now… I can’t believe we pulled that off.”
“Don’t celebrate yet,” Ide reminded him. “We’re only buying ourselves some time.” He pulled off his shirt, changing into a lightweight ivory sweater and dark jeans. “Ryuzaki said we could dress casually for the rest of the day, right?”
“Yeah.” The weight of the bulletproof vest still pressed around his chest, but it no longer felt so oppressive. It was kind of nice…
He didn’t realize he was starting to nod off until he felt a hand pushing a cup of coffee into his. “Are you going to change?”
Aizawa thought about it for a second. He had been planning on it, but the early morning chill meant he hadn’t sweated enough to actually need to, and any that existed had since dried. He checked to be sure, but the clothes were fine. “I’ll just take the vest off.” He discarded the vest and put on a jacket instead. Today would be the last day he could before the summer heat arrived.
He tried to get up and return to the hotel to join the others, but he froze just before he could touch the handle.
“This was the only way to protect the rest of the task force. If Amane’s Shinigami is on her side, everyone involved in Amane’s capture could be slaughtered… I didn’t have another choice, right?” Ide was his partner, but Aizawa was the one using the Death Note. No matter how much Ide helped him, this was Aizawa’s cross to bear.
“Without information about her Shinigami, there’s not much else we could do.” Ide sighed. “If the replacement-Akuma crosses a line, we can probably bribe Ryuk to point us in the right direction.”
Aizawa squeezed his eyes shut. He had forgotten about that detail. Ryuk couldn’t tell him names, so he wasn’t able to tell them the identity of the person he selected. Not that he thought Ryuk would tell him anyway—he valued entertainment too much for that. “This would be easier if we could just kill the damn Shinigami.”
“I think this is a good thing,” Ide said. “We shouldn’t resort to solving our problems by killing them, so this forces us to be more creative.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m thinking of this as a trial run for how we deal with L. We can delay him to buy ourselves time, but we still need to come up with a permanent solution.”
Aizawa tried to smile. “That’s a really good way of thinking about it.” But that did nothing to ease the strain from either of them. “This replacement better not hurt innocent people. I swore no innocents would get hurt.” People would get hurt no matter what he did. It was all about taking the risk and hoping the replacement played along, or the mass murder of the entire task force. If Soichiro was murdered, if L was murdered… the damage that could do to the NPA and to the world was immeasurable.
This was the trolley problem. Nothing more, nothing less. He had to take the plunge and pray it worked out.
“There’s nothing we can do about it now.” Aizawa opened the door and headed into the hallway, holding it open for Ide to follow. “We should get going. The others are waiting for us.”
Ide slipped the keys from Aizawa’s jacket pocket. “I’ll drive. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m not convinced I didn’t. I might be dreaming all of this.” He held up the bulletproof vest. “I’m going to drop this off. I’ll meet you at the car?” Ide nodded, leaving Aizawa the time to return the vest to its rightful place. He was just closing the closet when he heard multiple pairs of hurried footsteps behind him.
“You guys are arresting Akuma?!”
“Who told you that?” He turned and closed the locker behind him, finding a group of five younger officers, only a year or two out of school, all staring at him with wonder and delight. “Was an arrest operation announced?”
The one he estimated to be the youngest of the group nodded. “It’s being kept quiet, but Deputy Director Kitamura was on the phone with L! It sounds like the arrest is happening today!” He looked down, his hands fidgeting behind his back. “You’re working with L, right? We wanted to ask if you could recommend us to help with the arrest.”
Aizawa softened. “I’m guessing you all lost some people in the Sakura TV incident too.” Nods from the young officers. He sighed. “Look. I don’t have the power to do that. And even if I did, I wouldn’t. Not because I don’t have faith in you, but because Akuma is very dangerous. Akuma has powers we don’t know the full extent of, and I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.” He offered a small smile. “I’ll tell you what. When you all have a little more experience in this field, you’ll be the first I think of for recommendations. What are your names?”
Each of the young ones raised their hands in a manner that reminded him of ducklings, and from their introductions, he learned their names were Kato, Murai, Horie, Sone, and Nonaka.
He was about halfway to the door before he realized. “Wait. Were you eavesdropping on Kitamura to find that out?”
“Everyone is,” Horie said. “He knows it, we know it, the entire building knows it. Arakawa was trying to sneak us all updates yesterday.”
Even Arakawa?! Aizawa rubbed between his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t make a habit of it, or you’ll get into serious trouble one day. The Akuma situation is the exception, not the rule.” There really wasn’t much else he could say. Akuma hit them too hard for anything else to be realistic. “I’m saying that about the Kira case too. Make sure everyone quits with the eavesdropping and trying to find more updates. That information isn’t safe outside the people on the task force. Okay?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thank you.” He made to leave, then stopped again. “No one’s eavesdropped on me or Ide, right?” He would know if they did. Eriko had made him too good at knowing if someone was on the other side of his door listening in, regardless of the state he was in. But he had to be certain.
It was confirmed by there being no hesitation in any of their answers. “No, sir,” Sone promised. “We didn’t want you getting in trouble with L.”
“Good.” He waved them goodbye as he finally left. “I’m off. Have a good day.”
It was strange not having Ryuk following him through headquarters. He was used to small moments of Ryuk wandering off to listen to office gossip he would then account to Nozomu like a bedtime story, but those times he could still feel the Shinigami’s presence. Not having him around was… disturbing.
Funny. I used to barely tolerate having him around, and now I don’t know what to do without him.
He found Ide waiting for him in the parking lot. “What took you so long?”
“It turns out the entire building knows about Akuma and the current situation,” Aizawa explained. He got into the passenger seat of the car, grateful for the coffee Ide had given him. “Kira might be classified, but Akuma is open season. They’re staking out Kitamura’s door for information.”
Ide winced. “Ryuzaki must suspect that with the number of volunteers for the arrest.” He held up his phone. “I just got off the phone with forensics. They’re already finding matches.”
“Damn. That quick?” If only the NPA could be as efficient in every case as they were about this one. They could get so much more done. “We can bring some good news to the others.”
The drive was longer than he would have wanted on account of landing in the middle of morning rush hour, but it only added fifteen minutes where they could sit in relative silence. Not uncomfortable, but the weight of reality became suffocating as it settled in what Aizawa had done. What needed to be done. The blood of whoever the replacement killed would be on Aizawa’s hands the same as if he wrote the names himself.
But at least for now, the others on the task force would be spared.
“We’re back.” Aizawa took off his jacket and put it in the closet. “Forensics is already finding matches, so we can make the arrest—What the hell happened to your arm?!”
Matsuda had discarded the gear and his own jacket, leaving him in the same charcoal grey polyester shirt and black sweatpants Aizawa was. The sleeves went to just below his elbow, but they had ridden up with the way he was holding up photos of the evidence, revealing a massive dark red bruise above his elbow. It couldn’t be more than an hour old, but the color made him worry something was broken.
Matsuda blinked in confusion at the matching appalled looks from Aizawa and Ide, looking down at the bruise like he had forgotten about it. “I used my elbow to force the Halligan bar in the door. My supervisors always said I should use a hammer, but it’s faster when I do it.” He pouted. “Mogi wouldn’t let me help with the arrest because of it. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Soichiro let out something between a sigh and a groan. “Matsuda… I know you’re eager, but you need to avoid hurting yourself.”
Matsuda shrugged. “I’m fine, really. It barely even hurts.” He gestured for them to come over. Aizawa noticed the fleeting moment he hadn’t missed the detail that Aizawa hadn’t changed his clothes, but one look at how tired he was gave Matsuda enough answer not to question it. “I did some more research into Misa-Misa. There’s a lot of interesting stuff!”
Ide’s brow furrowed. “Misa-Misa?”
“Oh.” He seemed to realize how weird that sounded without context. “She’s an idol that’s been making waves since she went independent. She’s also a rising model and actress.” He held up a paper, which was a printed out copy of a website. “We might be able to get some more information from Yoshida Productions, but anyway, look at this!” He set that paper down and picked up another one. “We have a motive! Last year, her parents were killed by a burglar while she was at home. The trial was mishandled and delayed for months, but after Kira killed the judge for corruption and a new one was assigned, the trial went smoothly and the defendant was found guilty a couple of weeks later.”
Aizawa didn’t know how to feel about that. He filed it away to think about later. “Have we double-checked that she didn’t kill her parents herself and send an innocent man to prison?”
“She was cleared by the detectives who worked on that case,” Matsuda said, “So I don’t think so.”
“Ryuzaki is already working to gain access to the files on that case to be sure, but at the moment, it seems more like this is her motive for revering Kira,” Soichiro said. “She may be a murderer, but let’s not attribute the death of her parents to her unless we have evidence to support that.”
Ide shrugged his shoulders. “Fair enough. But given who we’re dealing with, it’s a good idea to have another pair of eyes on that original case.” He hummed absently as he sat down with the evidence, using the freedom of not having a time crunch to examine it more thoroughly. “Do you think she considered that? That her being caught for mass murder has the chance of her parents’ killer being able to use that on appeal?”
Soichiro turned away from the piles of evidence, and away from the other three. “I doubt she would consider that. I wonder… Would she talk if that was brought up?”
“What do you mean?” Aizawa asked.
“The accusation of killing your parents is a heavy one. I wouldn’t wish that on any innocent person,” Soichiro said. “But if we bring it up, that we’re reopening the case and there’s talk among officers of releasing the culprit on those grounds… She might give us information in a desperate bid to correct us.” He shook himself, running a hand through his hair. “What am I talking about? That’s cruel…”
Cruel, but it could be effective. Aizawa’s hands curled into fists, sending sparks of pain up his arms. “Matsuda. Did you say she’s an idol?”
Matsuda nodded. “She used to be part of the group Ichigo Berry, but after her parents were killed, she went independent.”
He could not believe the size of the bullet he dodged. He needed to lean back to let it sink in. An idol, who was also a rising model? If he were seen with her for any reason, even if she weren’t obsessed with Kira, his head would be on a spike. There was no way he could be in the same area code as an idol without Eriko somehow finding out.
“I’m surprised I didn’t recognize her around Aoyama,” Matsuda said. “Here I thought I was keeping up with the tabloids.”
Ide’s fist clenched. “Didn’t you mention you noticed a black-haired girl that freaked you out?” Tachibana. But Soichiro didn’t know about that yet. He picked up one of the pictures of the short black wig and slid it to Matsuda. “Was her hair like this?”
Matsuda stared at the wig for a second before his eyes went wide, his hand clamping over his mouth. “Oh my god…” he leaned back, color draining from his skin, leaving him as white as a ghost. “I ran into Akuma. If Aizawa hadn’t—” he scrambled to grab one of the papers, the song lyrics. “‘I’ll read your name and see your face.’”
Wait… Were the lyrics of that song a hidden message? It actually was damning evidence? The phrasing couldn’t be a coincidence, but it gave Aizawa an opening to talk more freely. “Looks like my hunch was right.”
“Hm?” Soichiro turned back to them. “What hunch?”
“Before I went to Aoyama, Aizawa told me he had a hunch Akuma had some way of knowing if people lied about their names,” Matsuda explained. “She just needed a face to kill, and we didn’t know the full extent of her powers. He told me that if someone asked for my name, don’t lie. Akuma would only ask if she had reason to think I was lying.” He seemed truly ill, a thousand-yard stare trained on the city outside the window. “If I used my fake police ID, I would have died.”
Soichiro got up from his seat and sat down next to Matsuda, letting him lean on his shoulder. “That was a close call. I’m glad you listened to Aizawa.”
Matsuda's shaking only worsened the longer he stared at the picture of the wig. “I didn’t want to make the same mistake as…” He suddenly stopped, forcing on a smile so fake it bordered on eerie. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m used to this kind of thing, right?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It just… took me by surprise, how close I got. It’s one thing to have a gut feeling, but it’s another to actually know.”
The way Ide looked at Matsuda made it clear he wasn’t fooling anyone. “Do you want us to change the topic?”
“Yeah. Please?”
Aizawa pulled the picture of the wig back. “All right. Who is going to take care of the cat?” He looked around the hotel room, finding a distinct lack of Kuro. He could hear L talking on the phone in the other room, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. “Where is the cat? Mogi had it last.”
“Mogi volunteered to watch the cat,” Soichiro said. “We got all the evidence we needed from it, so he said he was taking Kuro back to his apartment and telling his daughter they’re cat-sitting.” He looked down at the documents in front of him. “If she’s proven innocent, it’s a temporary arrangement, but I don’t see that being the case.”
“So Mogi has a cat now,” Ide said. “Got it.”
There was one other thing Aizawa needed to know. “What about Light?” The mention of his son got Soichiro’s attention. “He seemed really down the other day, and I haven’t seen him around since.”
Soichiro sighed, fidgeting with his watch. “Light is… He’s been having some trouble. It comes and goes, but lately he’s become paranoid about being under suspicion. He mentioned to me that some of Kira’s thinking was like his own, and he’s worried that he could somehow be Kira subconsciously.” He picked up one of the pictures of Misa Amane. His expression was unreadable, but Aizawa could guess what was going through his head. “Akuma being Light’s age is worrying to me. I don’t know what Light will do.”
Panic shot through him, though he did his best to hide it for Soichiro’s sake. “Where is Light now?”
“A girl, I believe her name was Kiyomi Takada, asked Light out on a date,” Soichiro said. “He said no, but he was happy to be friends. I suggested he spend some time with her to take his mind off the case, but I don’t know if he listened to me.”
Well… Maybe this plan of finding a replacement Akuma could be the thing to solidify an alibi for Light. It brought a horrible taste to Aizawa’s mouth to think about it. The notebook was out of reach until he found it again, but that would only delay what he knew was going to be a massive issue later.
What am I going to do?
Chapter Text
No matter how many times in the last few hours there had been a new update in the Akuma case, Aizawa never ceased being left speechless, in equal parts appalled and ironically impressed with each revelation that came to light. Every document brought the same question to mind over and over: how was it possible for someone with a magic killing power to leave so much physical evidence?
Had he not found the Death Note in her drawer, he would have feared the girl to have been framed with the sheer volume of evidence there was against her. Everything from the clothes she wore to the things she said in passing in interviews pointed to her guilt. The sole thing that didn't match was the fingerprints, but theories from forensics and discussions around the table had gone so far as to suggest, based on the evidence, there wasn't an accomplice, rather the tapes had been dubbed over, and the person whose prints were on the tape was the one being framed.
But while questions had been raised about Amane's intelligence, Aizawa found himself begrudgingly thinking otherwise. It would be easy to say she was stupid and move on with his life. That would be the reasonable assumption to make based on everything else, but seeing all the evidence laid out in front of him… there was a different story being told, one that started with his own statement.
Before he made his statement condemning her name, the evidence had been minimal—only the fingerprints of another. But since then, every video she made had it coming in spades. If this was being done by design, there was no reason not to simply turn herself in and mitigate further risks of a public scandal. No… The story being told by the evidence was one of a mental unraveling, be it desperation leading to sloppiness, or a lack of care for her own life if she didn't succeed in her goal.
It didn't make him feel bad for her by any stretch of the imagination. But it did make him a little curious about the girl. Her motive had been laid out, at least in theory, and yet Aizawa still wasn't sure what to make of it. How could someone become so dependent on another person—a person they have never met—to hinge their entire life on them?
Aizawa heaved a sigh as he went over the events of the last month, searching for anything he could latch onto to make the pieces fall into place. I shouldn't be thinking about this. He couldn't tell anymore if part of him wanted to be sympathetic to Amane, or if he was turning to her for answers for a different reason. Questions he had for her he couldn't ask, but she may be the only person who could give him an answer.
How could she claim to love Kira, revere Kira, whatever this was, and yet act as though she hated him? Disregard everything that went against her desires, while refusing to acknowledge that's what she was doing? Hurting the people around her for no reason besides her own whims and emotions, with the unspoken promise of things becoming worse if he didn't fall in line?
He shouldn't be on this case. This should be the time where he would have a conversation with Soichiro behind closed doors, explain to him that this particular bias made it hard to be objective in the investigation. He wouldn't even need to have this conversation, because Soichiro excelled in resource management, and he knew which officers would be best for certain cases, and which officers had experiences that would hinder their judgement.
But there was nothing he could do about it here other than put it to the side. Amane's motivation and her mindset didn't matter when the objective truth was that she killed innocent people and terrorized the entire world for no reason other than what she alone wanted. Extenuating circumstances stopped mattering when innocents became her chosen targets. That much everyone could agree on.
She was a murderer, and she had been caught with overwhelming physical evidence. That was the end of her story. There was no reason to think any more on it. Trying to make sense of her was pointless when it would do nothing to change the outcome.
The sound of the bedroom door opening behind them announced L had been freed from the phone calls he had been making for the last few hours. "Oh, Ryuzaki," Aizawa didn't know what he was planning to say, but L's hunch had become visibly more prominent. His expression was vacant, staring dead ahead. Everything about him was drained, too tired to even be annoyed by how long he was preoccupied. It's better to focus on the case. "We're uncovering more and more evidence."
L nodded gratefully, a hum of appreciation the only sound as he approached the laptop at the end of the room. But his footsteps stopped as he caught sight of Matsuda's arm in his peripheral. "Were you hurt, Matsuda-San?"
Matsuda looked down at the bruise on his arm, which had only gotten darker with time—dark red was tainted with splotches of black. "No, I'm okay." He stole Soichiro's suit jacket off the armrest and shrugged it on. "Gotta do what you gotta do to get a door open, right?"
Ide glanced over his shoulder to elaborate. "Halligan bar."
L's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Thank you for doing that. We gained valuable evidence." He pressed a button on the computer to gain Watari's attention on the other end of the line. "Watari, has she said anything?"
"No. Sorry, but nothing yet," Watari said. "She hasn't even complained about being restrained."
"All right, send the images this way," L said.
Watari fell silent. Aizawa was about to ask if the connection had broken, until his voice came from the laptop again, and he sounded concerned, and more than a little on edge. "Are you sure?"
"Just do it."
Huh? Aizawa took a cautious step closer to the detective. "Ryuzaki, why would Watari ask if you're sure—?"
What came onto the screen ripped the oxygen from his lungs. He wasn't sure what he was seeing at first, but when he was sure his eyes were grasping reality and not locked in a nightmare, he knew the air that had been taken would never return.
He expected the blindfold. He expected the cold white cell. He wasn't surprised by the straitjacket. But this he could never have prepared for.
He never imagined she would be strapped to a metal board, forced into a standing position held up by only two straps between her legs that moved up to join with the spiderweb of leather and metal that left her unable to move. Heavy metal bars stood firm on either size, granting the impression of her prison being that of a standing iron coffin.
Aizawa couldn't put to words to why the final detail disturbed him the most, that through all the manhandling she must have experienced to be put in these restraints, her pigtails were perfectly intact, practically defying the laws of physics with how they were neatly tied to fit over the massive metal blindfold over her eyes. A chill went up his spine like someone had pressed an entire sheet of ice against it. No reason he could think of gave an explanation that didn't have his hand twitching for a pen.
"What the fuck—Give her pants at least!" He said it louder than he intended, but he didn't regret it. Why the hell was the straitjacket the only thing she was wearing? The visuals on the monitor were coming from a simple video camera, so they weren't the best, but he could see the tremble of her legs. Whether from the cold, the exhaustion, or the fear, it didn't matter.
Soichiro dared to take a step forward, eyes getting wider as he took in the harrowing scene. "Ryuzaki… This is…"
He felt Ide's hand wrap around his, squeezing so hard it made the existing pain in his hands blinding, but Aizawa didn't mind. Ide could squeeze as hard as he needed. He had to make a conscious effort not to say anything to him, or draw unnecessary attention to his partner. But looking at the detective responsible for this, it was like he was watching a transformation in real time.
From the night he met L, something had lurked beneath the young man's skin, only coming to the surface in fleeting moments. Something that knew when to hide, and how to make those who had seen it question their own perceptions. Aizawa couldn't be certain of the face of that entity, if it was an extension of L he allowed to stay in order to survive, or the true core of the world's greatest detective shining through.
But seeing it staring at him now through L's haunting eyes, a sickening feeling of dread warned him it had altered L forever, molded and sculpted him into a weapon capable of the unimaginable. Nothing would change if Aizawa extended him a hand, for it had chipped away too much of his soul to survive without it.
Was he getting a glimpse into the real L now? Or was it the same young man he had known a few minutes ago, good-hearted underneath his cold exterior, but could call upon the deepest recesses of himself to do what he must, to protect the world from a dangerous serial killer?
He didn't know, and that was why he was willing to listen when L broke the tense silence and gave them his explanation. "She's been captured as Akuma. What do you expect?" There was a stiffness in his voice and demeanor as L turned his attention to the piles of evidence on the table. "If we had no evidence, it would be one thing."
It didn't fully ease Aizawa's concerns, but to hear this was specific to Akuma and accounting for the evidence was slightly better. "It's true… The fingerprints don't match, but we found the video equipment, the same type of paper as the diary, an express delivery stamp, the cat hair from the same breed of cat, the ink and components all match." He looked back to the evidence on the table. "The pollen found in the adhesive of the envelope sent from Osaka matched the flowers growing around the apartment she lived at until April and is rare in the Kanto region."
Matsuda opened his mouth as if to ask why Aizawa was saying all of this, but then he noticed Soichiro leaning heavily against one of the chairs, and Ide clinging to Aizawa's arm. "And a ticket stub for the Tokyo-Nagano train from the day when a tape was sent from Nagano. The security tapes should still exist for that day. I bet we'll find her if we view them." He made his comment more pointedly directed toward Soichiro. "Kira didn't leave any evidence like that."
Soichiro managed to right himself back to standing tall, but there was a visible lean back, putting subtle distance between himself and L. "Yes, with all this physical evidence, it seems pretty certain…"
"There's no mistake. Now it's just… how did she kill?" L leaned forward, as if being closer to the screen would give him the answers he craved. "She doesn't appear to know Kira, but she must have the key to finding him. We'll have to make her confess." Again, that frightening, borderline inhuman shift in his tone and his face as he pressed the button connected to the computer. "Watari, take precautions, but do whatever you need to. Just make her talk."
And all Watari had to say was a simple, "Yes."
Ide's grip had caused Aizawa's entire hand and wrist to go numb, but he could feel against his arm how much Ide was shaking in a futile effort to regulate his breathing. "Whatever you need to?"
The shaking stopped. His grip on Aizawa's hand fell slack. What he found when he turned his head was possibly more of a nightmare than if Ide had fallen apart at the seams.
Ide's features had smoothed over, the motion too swift as his eyes glazed over, a slightly dazed smile on his face. He detached from Aizawa completely, coming around the chair and putting himself between the screen and L. He leaned down so his face was mere centimeters away from L's, and when he spoke, his voice was flat.
"Do you know what tampered water tastes like, Ryuzaki? Do you know what it does to someone?"
L blinked, regarding Ide not with concern or confusion, but with curiosity. "I can't say I have tried it myself."
"No." Ide's eyes darkened. "You wouldn't have."
"Ide…" Aizawa tried to reach for him, but Soichiro made it first. A hand on Ide's shoulder, the other moving down to his wrist, over faded scars hidden by the sleeves of his sweater. The moment Soichiro's hand brushed against those scared, Ide whirled around, hands balled into fists as if ready for a fight, but Soichiro remained unflinching.
"Hideki." Soichiro used the hand on Ide's shoulder to bring him away from L. "Look at me, Hideki. I don't like it any more than you do, but please give Ryuzaki a chance to explain." He narrowed his eyes, burning his stare into the side of L's head. "He surely has an explanation for the severity of her restraints. Right, Ryuzaki?"
"I wouldn't do something like this without a reason," L said. He uncurled himself from his usual crouch, getting to his feet and approaching the table of evidence. His eyes scanned over one of the documents, faster than Aizawa would think possible to have actually read it, but his expression changed slightly in response to the document's contents. "All officers who took part in Akuma's arrest wore tinted helmets, but we can't be certain that's enough to protect them." He looked back up to address them. "We don't know how she kills. I don't want to do this, but this is the only way to save innocent lives. What if she starts a massacre of everyone she has ever seen? I can't take that chance."
Matsuda sucked in a breath. "Mogi…"
L nodded. "Do you want his daughter to be left an orphan because of Akuma being spiteful about her capture?" He returned to his place in front of the screen. "Misa Amane is a world-renowned idol. There is no describing the damage she could cause if she has the power to do that."
"Do we know she has that power?" Aizawa asked.
"Do we know she doesn't?" L's neck craned to the side with how he stared at Aizawa, as if trying to burrow straight through him. "We found no hard evidence as to how she kills, did we? Anything is possible."
Aizawa grimaced, ripping his gaze away in a tepid attempt at easing the burn. "I… guess you're right."
He nervously looked back to Ide. Ide recognized L's answer as a reasonable one, but Aizawa could see that shift. He wanted to go over and reassure his partner, but to do that would be to draw more attention to it. And with L's eyes already on that case from so long ago…
"Superintendent, you aren't faring much better," Aizawa said. "How about you two go for some air?" With his eyes, he pleaded, hoping Soichiro would understand. As much as he wanted to take Ide and shield him from this, doing that could too easily put Ide in danger. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if that came to pass.
He thanked his lucky stars that Soichiro did understand, keeping a gentle hold on Ide. Glassy eyes watched the screen with Amane, unblinking, empty and reflecting back the world coming in, yet overflowing with anguish, rage, and fear. Ide turned his head only enough to catch Aizawa in the edge of his vision, and he realized what was happening.
"I… I can't be here," Ide whispered. He took a step back, ending up pressed with his back against Soichiro's chest. "I can't be here for this."
L's features softened. He didn't seem surprised by this turn of events, and that scared Aizawa out of his mind. "That's fine, Ide-San," L said. "Take a few days to yourself."
Ide nodded curtly, but he struggled against Soichiro's attempts to lead him away, making direct eye contact with Aizawa. A plea as much as it was an order.
"Stay in headquarters as long as you have to. Do not let him out of your sight for even a second."
Only when Aizawa nodded did Ide let Soichiro take him somewhere else.
Matsuda's eyebrows drew together as Ide left, waiting until he was gone before hesitantly turning to Aizawa. "Is Ide okay? I mean… no, he's not." He looked back to the door. "What just happened? What did he mean about tampered water?"
Aizawa wrapped his arms around himself in a self-soothing gesture, but really, it was hiding the twitch of his hand, the itch to slip away, come back with new eyes, and relieve this room of one more person. He wasn't sure how reasonable that feeling was. "I'm not getting into it around Ryuzaki. It has nothing to do with this case, but it's very personal."
"If you're preventing yourself from being with him because of me, then don't." L took a drink from his coffee. "I know quite well what happened to Ide-San. It is for his sake I would have preferred not to reveal what I've had to do. But I believe in being transparent, and if I kept her conditions a secret, you could easily have assumed far worse." He pulled his arms and legs in, not in a squat, but more having curled into a ball with his head bowed. "Please understand. I would never have done this if I had any other choice." He tried to swallow, but didn't seem able. "For all our sakes, it's better to distract her completely and utterly, by any means necessary."
OoOoO
I'll pay any price for finding you.
And spend what's left reminding you.
My restless life is worth so much more.
Because of you.
Worth living for.
If I find you, maybe love me too.
I'll only love you more.
Her voice coming through the monitor woke Aizawa from a restless sleep. His spine screamed in protest as he tried to raise his head from where it had fallen back against the cushion. He had blearily opened his eyes when he heard L jumping up from his seat, eyes already glued to the screen.
"Watari, visuals now!"
Aizawa had only just gotten his bearings enough to see past the flickering in his vision when he heard Amane's song come to an end. Her voice was painfully hoarse, and from what he remembered from learning about the voice as in instrument, she shouldn't be singing at all if she wanted to avoid permanent damage. But with the inescapable situation she was in, that was probably the furthest thing from her mind.
She hadn't spoken at all in the last three days, or nothing that the task force had been made aware of. She had been given pants after he, with the help of Matsuda, pestered L into giving her that at least, but besides that, the only comfort Aizawa could think of was that L had agreed to keep the audio of her imprisonment on all through the night. He wouldn't have wanted to, but he found the hours she was alone with Watari were more unnerving than hearing her quiet suffering for himself. At least this way, he could have an idea of what was happening.
"I… can't take it anymore," Amane said. "Kill me!"
Aizawa's breath caught in his throat. Oh no… He bit down on the inside of his lip. He had suspected this was something she was capable of. From the minute he started looking at the evidence from the perspective of a damaged psyche, he had considered this as a possibility. That didn't make it any better to hear, nor any better to see how it would play out.
There were a few ways this could end, and how it did would shape his assessment on her Shinigami's loyalty to her, and the case itself. Something had to be wrong with him to think of that in a moment like this, but Ide's safety directly hinged on L's perception of Kira's power.
"Kill me." She repeated herself, louder, as if thinking she hadn't been heard. "Hurry up and kill me."
"You said she hasn't had water in three days, right?" Aizawa hadn't been able to stop thinking about that ever since L brought it up. Was that always the plan, or was it somehow throwing back Ide's comments in a different, horrible way? Three days without water… enough to survive, barely, but not enough to gain any other value from it. L couldn't afford her dying in captivity, but that was where it ended.
He had long since begun wondering if Soichiro's hypothetical scenario of weaponizing the possible release of her parents' killer against her would have been the least cruel option, instead of the most. It all came down to in what way Misa Amane would like to die.
"That's too much for a nineteen-year-old girl…" Matsuda said. "She must be at her limit."
Nineteen… It shouldn't matter. It really shouldn't matter to him how young she was—it didn't matter when, young or not, she was the one who killed so many innocent people. She killed Ukita and so many others, terrorized the city… her age didn't change that. This should be karma. She had firsthand experience with the grief of losing loved ones based on one person's selfish desires, yet inflicted that pain onto others because her desires mattered more.
It didn't feel like karma. It didn't feel that way at all.
L pressed the button, activating a speaker in Amane's cell. "Misa Amane, can you hear me?"
"Yes…" Her throat sounded so dry it made Aizawa's hand move to his own. "Please… kill me now…"
L leaned closer. "Does that mean that in the face of overwhelming evidence, you are acknowledging that you are Akuma and giving up?"
Amane seemed to consider his words for a few moments, or perhaps it was too painful to speak. Only when she tilted her head slightly, as much as she was able with a leather strap pressed against her throat, was he sure she was indeed weighing her options before making her decision. "I can't take this… I'd rather be dead." Her voice then raised to a guttural scream. "Now! Hurry! Kill me! YOU CAN DO IT IMMEDIATELY, RIGHT?!"
She coughed from deep within her lungs, choking on air and her own saliva as her body lurched against her bonds, desperate to curl into a ball, but with the strap against her throat, her coughing only worsened.
Aizawa's hand curled. He didn't have a page on him; it was too dangerous to have something like that around L, but if he did… it wouldn't take much to have her die from the torture. He might not have to intervene at all with the way this was going.
"Yes, kill me." He froze when Amane continued talking. She wasn't talking to them, was she? "Yes… kill me… I can't take it… kill me…"
"Ryuzaki, it's not going to change anything if she confesses," Aizawa insisted. "Do you really think her word would mean anything after putting her through this?"
Matsuda wasn't able to tear his eyes away, swallowing and biting his lip before he could force out an agreement. "Y-Yeah… She might say anything to make it stop." He stared down at his hands, and then to L. "The evidence is good enough, Ryuzaki. Anyone besides her fans would convict her. Do we really need to do this?"
Amane let out a choked sob between coughing fits. For all her cries and the torment that awaited her if she lived any longer, her Shinigami must have refused. "I was supposed to die that day anyway… I would die happy now… while I'm still young and pretty… kill me."
Screw it. "Ryuzaki, if you keep this up, she's going to die."
"I don't care, just kill me!" Amane's scream cut L off before he could formulate a rebuttal. "If you won't kill me, then—!"Watari was already tying a gag in her mouth, even before L needed to say a word.
"Good. Watari, make sure she can't bite her tongue off," L said. He craned his neck to see Aizawa behind him. "She won't die unless Kira kills her or she is hanged for her crimes. I can assure you of that."
Aizawa rolled his eyes. "So you're going to blame Kira when she's clearly dying of dehydration and going insane from torture? We have the evidence. She's going to die anyway—at least get it over with." He gestured to Amane to prove his point. Her head moved, as if she were nodding to something, before her entire body went limp, held up only by the straps. "She could start babbling nonsense to make Watari stop, and we'll be further behind than if we executed her."
L sighed. "You're letting your feelings for Ide-San cloud your judgement."
"My judgement is that torturing a nineteen-year-old girl is going to get us nowhere," Aizawa snapped. "I understood when the goal was to distract her to protect people from her, but we can just as easily protect people if we kill her." He gritted his teeth. He could feel Soichiro and Matsuda behind him. Soichiro had said nary a word in days, but it seemed even Matsuda was too horrified to speak. "If you blame Kira for her dying, she's going to die from this, and you're going to be looking in the wrong place for Kira."
L bowed his head, curling further inward on himself, bringing Aizawa pause. "What am I supposed to do? Her status as an idol has made obtaining a death warrant almost impossible." Bitterness poured from his sharp laugh. "You're right. She's nineteen years old, and we've investigated Kira's targets well enough to know how many people would keep her alive for her youth and beauty." He got up, staring directly into Aizawa's eyes, taking steps closer to him. "My hands are tied, Aizawa-San. All I want is to make this worth something. If it were up to me, the evidence presented to Interpol would have had her dead two days ago. But until I get approval, if I get approval, what do you suggest we do? Improve her treatment, then watch as she kills thousands, maybe even millions?"
Aizawa flinched. "No…" He could kill her himself. If he went home, it would be easy to force Watari into making a mistake that leaves her dead. But if he did that…. He wasn't putting Ide in danger for the sake of Ukita's killer. "Give her food and water, at least. You were willing to give her pants. I understand you want to protect people, but at least give her those basic things."
Matsuda raised his hand to get their attention. "What about letting her lie flat at nighttime?" he offered. "Give her a little more semblance of time, and a bit of time to rest?"
Aizawa took a step forward, closer to L. "I know it's dangerous. We don't know what she's capable of. But I can't stand by and let anyone, even her, suffer through this." He stood straight, making sure there was no reluctance or doubt L could take advantage of. "If we see a slaughter like what you fear in response to giving her those basic things, you can hold me responsible."
L hesitated, staring down at the floor as numbers and calculations passed through his mind. And then he smiled, some of the tension leaving him. "All right. We'll try that." His voice shook, bangs blocking off his eyes. "I'm sorry. I got in my own head—I didn't think about…" he calmed himself before anyone could reach out. "I'm glad to have you on my team. All of you. I don't know where I would be without you."
Soichiro let out a breath. "This isn't a good situation for anyone. I can't imagine having to approve these things." He gestured for L to join them on the couch. "We'll figure something out, Ryuzaki." He looked to Aizawa and Matsuda. "We will."
I hope you're right. Aizawa glanced back to Amane. L must have sent him a message with his cell phone, because Watari was tipping her back so she could lie down, and the straps wouldn't injure her while unconscious. Had he been wrong about the Shinigami being allied with her? Leaving her alive like this…
It opened the door to a far worse option. Amane had nodded to something just before passing out. It could have been a muscle spasm from how little water she had, but what if she had renounced ownership and her memories? He couldn't imagine the cruelty her Shinigami would need to be capable of to suggest that. So, for her sake, he prayed that wasn't the case.
Matsuda offered him a drink. "Do you want some?"
Aizawa nodded. "Yeah, sure." He didn't even know what it was, taking a drink from the metal cup he was given. Only to be sent reeling, as his taste buds were assaulted by an unexpected sip of vodka cranberry at four in the morning.
He glanced back to the table, at the copy of the song Amane had been singing. He hesitantly reached to pick it up, and he noticed the date at the top corner. Written three days after his message telling her to turn herself in.
He put the paper away.
OoOoO
"I found a human!"
Aizawa had never been so relieved to hear Ryuk coming in through the wall, thankfully untouched by the rain and winds outside. He didn't mind as the Shinigami's eyes glowed red in response to the storm clouds outside. He would dare say he almost missed Ryuk in the days since they had seen one another.
He sat up on the couch, grateful to find the others either asleep or close enough to asleep that they wouldn't pay any mind to his sudden alertness. He nodded to urge Ryuk to elaborate, but found he didn't have to, as Ryuk had dramatically draped himself over the couch next to him.
"I had so many ideas for what kind of human to pick, but then Akuma's Shinigami turned out to be Rem." Ryuk practically groaned out the name. "I had to follow your instructions the same way Rem would, or she wouldn't stay with the new human." He let himself slide down the couch onto the floor, where he could sulk under the table. "I had my sights set on some up-and-coming prosecutor. He looked like he wouldn't hesitate to do what you asked, but no, it had to be Rem."
Noted. Amane's Shinigami was named Rem, and from the way Ryuk bemoaned the change in criteria, she was more inclined to follow the instructions. Or her standards were immeasurably worse, but Aizawa forced himself to take Ryuk's annoyance as a reason for optimism.
"Mr. Stalker, please stop this." Amane's voice made Aizawa jump in surprise. "This is a crime. If you let me go, I won't tell anyone."
Ryuk sat up and turned his head all the way around. "What's that?" He perked up as he noticed Amane on the screen. "Oh, yeah. Rem did say she gave up ownership of the notebook."
Aizawa's heart sank. "Oh no." He got up, getting the attention of the others as he practically ran to the computer. "Oh, Gods, no. Don't do this, Amane."
Matsuda shot upright, a hand flying to his head to gain his bearings. "Huh? What? Did she wake up?"
Soichiro nodded. He was sitting as far from the monitor as he could manage, but he was so alert Aizawa briefly wondered if he had misjudged thinking he had been asleep. "She woke up about two hours ago, and Watari gave her some water and broth. This is the first time she's speaking." The shadows under his eyes gave Aizawa his answer. He hadn't been asleep, but he was so trapped in his own head that he wouldn't have cared what Aizawa was doing if he had noticed. They hadn't seen Light in a week, and with each passing day, his absence became more foreboding…
L curled into his usual crouch in front of the computer monitor. "You were right, Aizawa-San. Giving her food and drink certainly did something."
Matsuda leaned his arms against the back of L's chair, agitation creeping on his face. Now that she had better treatment, it was easier to remember her crimes. "Does she really think we're going to buy this act?"
If only it were an act. This was far worse than if Rem had killed her. What was she thinking? Aizawa grimaced. Did she think Amane having no knowledge of her crimes would somehow erase the evidence? Prevent her from talking?
Amane licked her lips in the silence, shifting in a failed attempt to get comfortable. "Okay, then how about taking off the blindfold? I'd really like to see you."
Aizawa leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, catching a glimpse of the storm brewing outside. They might have lightning in the next few hours… He couldn't believe he was saying it, but if wished he hadn't fought L for better treatment. It would have been easier to kill her that way—spare a girl without her memories from this. But he had backed himself into a corner with this. He would have to keep fighting for better treatment until the time came to end her life, then use the notebook to put her in a daze so it was over quickly.
L's brow furrowed. "Matsuda-San, call Mogi-San." He held up his hand, waiting for Matsuda to pass him the phone once he finished dialing. Aizawa noticed Matsuda put the call on speaker, which L discovered as soon as he brought it up to his ear, only to recoil away from it. "When you apprehended Misa Amane, you did tell her she was suspected as Akuma?"
Mogi's voice came through clearly on the other end.
"Yes. As you instructed, I came up from behind, covering her eyes and mouth and said, 'You are being arrested under suspicion of being Akuma,'" he said. "She didn't resist me putting the handcuffs and eye mask on her. She seemed to understand quickly what was happening."
"I'll give you an autograph and shake your hand." Amane raised her voice, desperation creeping in. "Oh, I'll give you a kiss on the cheek! Come on, I won't run away."
Mogi must have heard that, as there was an uncomfortable silence for him, before a hesitant, "I know I told her why she was being arrested."
"I believe you, Mogi-San," L said. "We'll handle things here." He hung up, passing the phone back to Matsuda and turning on his microphone. "Misa Amane."
Amane perked up. "What, Mr. Stalker?" she asked. "You're going to let me go?"
"Before you went to sleep, you were almost completely silent before asking us to kill you," L said. "Yet now you're playing coy?"
Aizawa noticed a bead of sweat run down Amane's face. "What are you talking about? You're the stalker who knocked me out and brought me here." She tried to force a smile, but it came across as reasonably awkward. "What…? You want to play some kind of examination game?"
Ryuk's head swiveled around as he searched the various rooms of the suite. "Where's Hideki?" Aizawa shot him a look that he would explain later.
L looked to Aizawa and Masuda, and to Soichiro, who had taken to staring vacantly down at the floor, almost rocking back and forth in his seat. None of them had any explanation or assistance they could give, so L turned back to the microphone. "Why are you tied up there right now?"
"Huh? Why…?" Amane thought about it for a second, coming to an answer a little too quickly for comfort. "Maybe because I'm an idol? I've never heard of a stalker going this far, though."
I need to look more into the idol industry. Aizawa blinked when Matsuda came to the center of his attention. His hands were clenched into fists so tight his knuckles had turned bone white, and Aizawa swore he was the slightest bit more force away from splitting the skin of his palms.
Without warning, Matsuda lunged forward, ripping the microphone out of L's hands. "Hey, Amane! STOP MESSING AROUND!" Aizawa squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from jumping or letting on the shot of anxiety through his heart. He could feel the unbridled fury rolling off Matsuda in waves in a way he had never seen before, his anger coming from deep in chest and dropping his voice a few octaves. Aizawa didn't know Matsuda was capable of making such a sound, or of having that much rage trapped within him.
Amane recoiled back, letting out a soft whimper, sweat being replaced with tears spilling down her cheeks through her blindfold. "I... I'm scared… Please stop this… Let me go!" She hiccuped as she swallowed too much air. "Let me go…"
Aizawa pulled Matsuda away from the monitor, setting the microphone back in front of L. He kept his voice low. "Hey. You okay?" What the hell was that?
Matsuda clenched his jaw, his hands shaking as he struggled to come down from a high of pure adrenaline. "No. No." He shook his head, glaring at the screen as Amane pleaded for the bathroom, as it was the only time she was untied. "She doesn't get to act like that. Not after she killed Ukita."
"I know."
Matsuda wasn't done. "We fight Ryuzaki to get her better treatment, and this is what she does? I used to hear people say it all the time—give an inch and they'll run a mile. But I never thought…" he forced out a breath, trying to calm himself. "Good thing Ide's not here, right? How is he?"
The deep gnawing in his chest flared at the mention of Ide. I know he's alive, and he's functioning. That's where it ends."He wanted me to stay here and keep an eye on things with Ryuzaki," he said. "I… haven't actually seen him."
L raised his voice slightly to draw their attention, but he must have turned the volume on his microphone down, because Amane didn't react to the change in noise. "Amane… Let's seriously talk about what we were discussing before you passed out. Do you know—" His phone beeped. L must have recognized a distinctive chime, because he muttered a quick, "I'm afraid we'll have to cut this short. Turn off the visuals and audio."
Soichiro looked up, dread crashing down on him. "Is that…?"
"It's Light-Kun." L answered the phone rather unlike himself, holding it normally to press entirely against his ear. "…Yes… Yes… Yes… Yes…" he nodded, staring down at the ground. "I understand. We're in K, Room 2801."
Soichiro rose from his seat, looking between the computer and the door. "My son's coming?"
"He's already here. He just needed the room number." L moved over to the kitchenette and began brewing tea, flitting his hands around like he was trying to keep them busy. "Yagami-San, has your wife conveyed any concern to you? He sounded very distraught on the phone."
Soichiro didn't get the chance to answer, as the door opened, and Light peeked his head inside. "Can I come in?"
Aizawa wanted to believe it was a trick of the shadows, that the storm and the lightning crackling in the sky through the window had tricked him into seeing what wasn't there. This wasn't real. This can't be real.
But as Light stepped into the main room, a navy blue tracksuit hanging off him, Aizawa almost screamed at what had become of the young man. He looked like he had been dragged to Hell and barely had the will to claw his way out. His cheeks were sunken in, the shadows under his eyes had become darker like bruises, made all the more apparent by an ashen pallor. He must not have eaten or slept in multiple days, dead on his feet and shaking from the cold of walking through a storm, and crushing anxiety.
"Light…!" Soichiro was up in an instant, grabbing a blanket from the couch and wrapping Light in it and pulling him close. "Light, my son..."
"Dad…" Light buried his head in his father's chest. He didn't protest as Soichiro brought him over to the couch, and L poured some hot tea for him. He held the steaming cup in his hands to soak in its warmth, but he made no effort to drink from it. "Ryuzaki… as I said on the phone…" his breath hitched, trying not to sob. "I might be Kira."
This couldn't be happening. Aizawa had completely frozen. This was everything he wanted to avoid—one of the only reason he had let Amane's notebook fall into another's hands. What do I do? How do I stop this?
"What are you saying, Light?!" Soichiro grabbed Light's shoulders. "Have you lost it?! When did it get so serious?!" He tried to force Light to look at him, but he wouldn't or couldn't meet his eyes. "Please snap out of it, Light! What's going on?! Answer me!"
Light shook his head. "I can't do this anymore. I can't sit and guess and question my own sanity." He raised a hand to the side of his head. "If Ryuzaki is L, then he's unquestionably the best detective in the world. If L has decided that I'm Kira, and it's been so hard to prove me innocent, what does that say about me? Now with Misa Amane…" he noticed the evidence laid out on the table. "I never saw her in Aoyama. If I'm Kira, and I have no consciousness of it somehow, she wouldn't have seen me either."
All Soichiro could do was pull Light a little closer. "Light…"
Light stared down at his own hands. "I don't believe in Shinigami, but thinking about that and then having the world's best detective say that I'm Kira… I'm starting to not even understand myself… I'm afraid." He looked up to the others, his voice quivering. "What if I'm losing my mind? I may not be conscious of it, but maybe when I go to sleep, another version of me comes out and does the killings?"
"Huh." Ryuk blinked, crawling over the couch onto the back of it so he could stare at Light more closely. "That's a new one."
A new one, but something I can disprove. "Did you know about Otoharada?"
Light head shot up. The question took him by surprise. "What?"
"Kira's first victim—or we think so, anyway," Aizawa said. "Your father arrested him ten years ago, but as soon as he got out, he went on a killing spree and held multiple buildings hostage. He was killed by the same cardiac arrest found in Kira's victims. You would have been in school at the time."
"I…" Light looked away. "I didn't know much about him or the current situation when he died, but he was terrorizing the city for weeks. Mom stopped letting Sayu go out alone until he was killed." His eyes widened, horror flashing across his face. "I didn't mean to. I don't want to think I did…"
Damnit. He needed to find something that Light wouldn't know. But this was a bright kid, and he could easily have figured out any amount of information. Think… Think…! There had to be something people besides Kira could know but Light wouldn't.
L nodded along with everything Light said, but even he didn't seem the slightest bit happy with this. "Drink some tea, Light-Kun. You'll fall ill from the rain." Light weakly nodded.
Soichiro rubbed Light's back as he tried to drink the tea. "It can't be, Light… You're thinking too much."
"I have to be honest," Light said. "Sometimes I think that some horrible people should be killed. I think any person who thinks that way could become Kira." He chuckled to himself. "And not just the worst of the worst Kira targets. There are many people who, deep inside, I think would be better off dead."
Matsuda put his hand on Light's wrist. "That goes the same for me," he said. "I'm always thinking that some people should be dead. Most people are probably like that. But that doesn't mean you'd actually kill them, right?"
"Matsuda's right," Aizawa said. "We all have our own reasons to agree with some of the things Kira does—it's the way he does it that's the problem. Admitting he isn't as unjustified as we would like doesn't mean you're Kira." He crossed his arms against his chest. "Your age range for Kira had you on the lowest end, and that's not getting into all the reasons you made that age range. Don't be so quick to narrow it down to only you just because you agree with some points."
Light smiled halfheartedly. "Thank you… But I need to be sure." He raised his eyes to L. "Ryuzaki. If you meant any of the things you said about how much I mean to you, lock me up. Lock me up somewhere no one can find me, and I can't access anything." He looked down at his reflection in his tea. "I can't guarantee that will stop the killings if there are people in my memories, but I need to be sure."
"No!" Soichiro protested. "That is way too far." He took the tea from Light and set it on the table, clasping both of Light's hands in his. "We can get you help in a more isolated space if you need, but I won't let you agree to this." He looked desperately to L—he looked moments away from getting on his knees to beg. "There's no way my son can be Kira… Why should he…?"
"There's no way I'll be able to keep pursuing Kira if somewhere in my mind I suspect myself," Light said. "I want to make this clear as soon as possible. This may take a while, but it's probably the fastest way—no, this is the only way."
L grimaced. "I really don't like where this is going, but…" he watched Light carefully, finding desolate cinnamon eyes staring back at him. "Fine. Light Yagami will be restrained and placed under confinement for an undetermined amount of time." He leaned closer, as if that would snap Light out of this state. "But if we're doing it, we're doing it right now. You will not be allowed to leave my sight before then."
What?! "You can't be serious!"
"I wish I wasn't," L said. "But seeing the way Light-Kun is destroying himself over this… I almost fear for his life should I refuse." He looked down at the tea, seeing that Light never successfully drank more than a sip. "This way, I can show you what it really looks like when I confine a suspect, without the aggravating circumstances associated with Amane. I have none of the same fears with Light-Kun that I do for her, even if he is Kira." He stared Light down, but Light didn't flinch. "I will meet the requirements you asked for, but I will not subject you to what I've needed to do for Amane."
"Okay," Light said. He nodded to himself, replaying L's words over in his head. "But you have to agree to not let me out until you've determined for sure whether I'm Kira or not. No matter what I say, Ryuzaki."
L nodded. "I understand. But I can't even imagine how long it would take for my suspicion of you to dissipate. So be prepared for that." He looked to Soichiro. "Yagami-San. Can you come up with a reason why Light-Kun will be away from home for a while? You'll need to."
Soichiro didn't seem to breathe, looking from Light, then back to L. He understood as well as anyone else that L's assessment wasn't so far off. To say no to this could cost them Light's life… That didn't mean anyone had to like it, least of all him. "But this is all so sudden! Why should my son be put in a cell and…"
"Give it up, Dad. I need to do this," Light said. "And if I'm not Kira, I swear I'll catch the person who's caused this to happen to us. Kira needs information to do his killings—I'm certain of this fact. By being locked away and shut out from gaining information, I want to prove my innocence and chase after Kira."
Soichiro struggled to think, trying to put together words until he had an idea. "But what about college?"
"At my level, I can miss a year or longer and still be fine. You know that, Dad." Light straightened in his seat. "How about this as the reason? Mom's already worried about my fixation on the case. I'll call her and say that I decided to travel and take my mind off the case. Or, if you prefer, maybe getting some help, but I want to keep it on the down-low so it doesn't impact things going forward." He shrugged his shoulders. "That is what I'm doing, just in a bit of a backwards way." He shifted, staring his father down. "You, of all people, should understand why I have to do this."
Soichiro was about to protest, but then he froze. Eyes wide with some kind of realization, one he wished more than anything in the world he could go back to pretending he didn't know. "Are you serious… Light?"
Light's expression didn't change, but that in itself was the answer. "Yeah. By taking away my own freedom, I'll defeat the fear of Kira that dwells within me." And there was nothing anyone could say against him.
L nodded grimly. "Okay." He got up from his chair. "Aizawa-San. There's a facility on the edge of the city where I'm keeping Amane—private, so no one will ever know. I will have Watari send you the coordinates. Could you take Light-Kun there? There is a room set up for Kira that he can use for the time being."
"Uh… Sure." Aizawa moved to wrap an arm around Light. He was still shivering. "Come on, Light." His hand made contact with Light's skin, and he realized just how cold the poor thing was. "Did you really walk here?"
Light nodded.
Damnit… What the hell am I doing? "Matsuda, can I borrow your bag?" Matsuda nodded, offering him the duffle bag. "Thanks. I'll bring it back after I'm done." He nudged Light toward the door, bringing him down the stairs to the parking lot. Aizawa dug into Matsuda's bag for an umbrella, grateful for the illumination of Ryuk's eyes as he brought Light to the car.
Light didn't resist getting into the backseat. "Why did you ask for Matsuda's bag?"
"Because he always packs blankets and a hoodie." He leaned in so nothing in the bag would get wet, pulling out the hoodie after removing the drawstring, while also piling a blanket onto Light. He put the umbrella back in the bag, as it would be too difficult to hold that and work with Light. "Put this on. I'm not letting you freeze to death in my car."
Light didn't resist, blinking as he watched Aizawa work. "Aren't you going to blindfold and cuff me?"
Aizawa hesitated. He wasn't going to back down on this, was he? "Fine." He reached into the shoebox under the passenger seat L had asked them all to keep for emergencies, with a blindfold and a set of handcuffs. He had no trouble putting them both on Light.
It was times like this he was glad to have cut his hair short when he first started operating as Kira, because drying his hair when it was longer after this long standing in the rain would be a pain. The last thing he needed was for something as insignificant as that to be the final thing to set him off.
While making sure the hoodie was over Light as much as it could be without using the sleeves, he sucked in a breath as his hand made contact with Light's ribs, and he could feel all of them. He knew Light was thin, but how much weight had he lost in only a week?!
Light stared down at where his hand was and realized what he was thinking. "I… do that sometimes. It's weird," he said. "The ten pounds should come back on their own once everything is back to normal."
Aizawa decided against arguing. He got in the driver's seat and turned on the heat, turning on his phone only long enough to put in the coordinates and immediately turning it off again before Eriko could notice, as she always did. "You're not Kira, Light. You don't need to do this."
Light pressed his forehead against the back of Aizawa's seat. "I can't deal with this anymore. If I'm not confined, I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm scared…"
"I know. We'll get this sorted out, I promise." There wasn't anything else to say. All Aizawa could do was take advantage of Light being blindfolded to shoot Ryuk a look, making it clear he needed to find Ide and tell him what was happening. Ryuk, having contorted himself into the passenger seat, was more than happy to launch himself out of the car and into the sky.
L meant it when he said the facility was on the edge of town. He may have been underselling the two-hour drive to a single heavy-duty warehouse in the middle of nowhere. They had driven far out of the storm's reach, so he was able to get Light out of the care without any hassle. Light only made a gesture to wordlessly ask for help to pull off Matsuda's hoodie, and allowed himself to be led into the warehouse, where Aizawa soon discovered that the lower floor more closely resembled a parking garage. The real prison was on the floor above, only accessible through a retinal scan.
The elevator door opened, and Aizawa stood in the way to make sure it didn't close. "This is your last chance, Light. I can turn around and take you home."
Light shook his head. He waited for the sound of the elevator doors closing behind them. "…Thank you for being kind to me."
Please don't thank me. Aizawa opened and closed his hand as they waited in the elevator, sucking in a breath as the doors opened, and he saw Watari at the end of the hall. He stepped in front of Light, but if Watari noticed, he made no comment. "I'll show you to Light's room."
Aizawa braced himself for what he was going to find. L had said this was how he usually treated suspects, so what kind of horrors—
The room was lovely.
None of the walls were padded, or gave any indication of being a cell. They were colored in dove grey paint, with an accent wall of soft pale green. There was a desk with an ottoman stool, a cream-colored plush chair, and a bed with a comforter and a pillow. Closer inspection revealed that the comforter and the fitted sheet underneath it had been stitched into the mattress itself from the bottom, to make sure they couldn't be removed. Make sure the person staying in this room can't hurt themselves. The pillowcase was the same, stitched closed so it couldn't be removed.
There were even white curtains with light coming from behind him. Aizawa pulled back the curtain to find it was false daylight, but there was a panel just below them, suggesting it was adjustable. More in line with an expensive lamp behind a curtain, but with no cord or electrical outlet that could become a weapon.
Save for the lack of real windows, the only sign this was a cell instead of a hotel room was the camera positioned in the top corner of the room, just above the solid iron door.
Watari was standing beside Light, who seemed to have been given a change of clothes, as he was now wearing a long-sleeved black shirt and grey sweatpants without a drawstring. "Ryuzaki has mentioned your concerns about how he treats prisoners. He thought it would be best to send you to see for yourself how we treat suspects in normal circumstances—to ease your and Ide's worries," he said. "Suspects haven't been convicted of anything. He would hate to traumatize someone in the event he got it wrong, as unlikely as that may be."
"I appreciate that." Aizawa brought Light inside, taking off the blindfold. "Let's get you in bed." Light didn't resist as Aizawa helped him into bed. It was a bit challenging to get him under the covers when they were so thoroughly stitched down, but they must have been fitted to make sure a person could comfortably be under them. He reached for the handcuffs once Light was situated, but Light put his hands under the covers. "I need to take those off, Light."
Light shook his head. "Please don't… at least for right now."
Aizawa softened, brushing Light's bangs out of his face. To hell with professionalism, Light didn't deserve this. "You're safe now, Light. Get some sleep." I'll prove your innocence. You don't have to worry.
Pages Navigation
mapsareforbraindeads on Chapter 1 Mon 16 Oct 2023 05:02PM UTC
Comment Actions
NebulaMist on Chapter 1 Tue 17 Oct 2023 02:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
grandmarie (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 17 Oct 2023 04:34PM UTC
Comment Actions
Redaxer75 on Chapter 1 Wed 18 Oct 2023 04:07PM UTC
Comment Actions
Lightsnlaws on Chapter 1 Thu 26 Oct 2023 07:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
infinitefalltohell on Chapter 1 Sat 28 Oct 2023 04:01PM UTC
Comment Actions
FlordeLis1501 on Chapter 1 Tue 14 May 2024 02:55AM UTC
Comment Actions
machinegundave on Chapter 1 Mon 20 May 2024 02:52PM UTC
Comment Actions
sammybam88 on Chapter 1 Thu 02 Jan 2025 05:40PM UTC
Comment Actions
infinitefalltohell on Chapter 2 Tue 31 Oct 2023 11:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
angelaneahwalker on Chapter 2 Tue 31 Oct 2023 04:26PM UTC
Comment Actions
NebulaMist on Chapter 2 Sat 02 Dec 2023 08:17AM UTC
Comment Actions
TwilightMaster15 on Chapter 2 Tue 02 Jan 2024 07:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
NebulaMist on Chapter 2 Tue 02 Jan 2024 07:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
IEatRedBears on Chapter 2 Sun 17 Dec 2023 05:44AM UTC
Comment Actions
AnonymousGambito on Chapter 2 Mon 18 Dec 2023 07:54AM UTC
Comment Actions
moshelomito on Chapter 2 Fri 15 Nov 2024 10:08PM UTC
Comment Actions
Communized on Chapter 2 Thu 26 Dec 2024 05:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
NebulaMist on Chapter 3 Tue 02 Jan 2024 07:57PM UTC
Comment Actions
infinitefalltohell on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jan 2024 05:17AM UTC
Comment Actions
NebulaMist on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jan 2024 06:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
verafied on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jan 2024 08:44AM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation