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It wasn't the first time Kevin had left Jean alone with Riko, it wasn't the first time Jean had to take all the punishments for Kevin runing away even though all three of them knew that coach Moriyama would find Kevin and bring him back to the nest. Jean felt a sick connection with Kevin, he knew that they had been trough the same horrible treatements and he was glad that Kevin had a place to run off to. They loved eachother for being victims, clinging for life at any minimal feeling that could soothe a bit of the pain and trauma.
With Kevin gone over and over again all that love was slowly fading away, Jean even thought that he might start hating him for leaving his heart dying on the floor everytime he ran and then coming back asking for comprension and love and soft words that no one offered to Jean. He was young and he already had learn that he couldn't let anyone inside his heart again. Jean stopped crying when he was left alone and every part of his body hurt because of Riko and just learn to live with it.
So when Kevin signed with the foxes and didn't even say goodbye, Jean promised to himself that Kevin Day would not hurt him anymore.
But then, Kevin teammate helped him to get out of the nest and he was free, he was hurt and scared but he was finally free. Renee said that Day wanted to talk to him.
"Could you please listen to me? Just for a few minutes" Kevin had said and he let him talk, fuck, he let him talk and even believed him a bit.
It was funny how Kevin Day wanted to be his friend, to try and have a life without all the pain and Jean laughed. He laughed until it sounded like a choked cry because he couldn't fucking believe it. How could he forget that pain? How could he pretend that nothing had happened? In his head it was partly Kevin fault that Riko broke him while he was playing exy and studying in the sun. He knew that Riko was a monster but he couldn't really say that Kevin wasn't one too, he had convinced himself that he needed to hate Kevin to survive and it was impossible to get the idea out of his head.
After Riko's death, Kevin never stopped trying to reach over to Jean. Everything was a mess of hate and grief. The last thing that Jean wanted to do was to be close to Kevin but no one else could understand these feelings.
Maybe he could let somebody into is heart again, even if he was just going to use Kevin to get over it. It wasn't gonna be true, there was no way that he would love that man again. At least not sincerely.