The Princess and the Prophet

by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk), Likes2Lllllurk

Summary:

Reiju is not amused with not knowing where she is, and it's becoming increasingly apparent the guy in the boat with her is insane. Luckily she has the gun and the upper hand (she hopes), but the more he talks, the more she wonders if he might actually be trying to help. Is this some kind of conspiracy, or is Bones somehow telling the truth when he claims to know the future?

Chapter 1: Prologue: Reiju and Bones

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

                “AH!” I jerked awake and sat up, looking around in a mild panic. The first thing I noticed was the ocean around me. ALL around me. Nothing but pitch black moonlit sea water as far as the eye could see in the light of the lantern behind me. There was nothing except for me, the stars, the boat I was in and…

                “Well, I see you’re finally awake,” declared a silky smooth voice from behind me as I felt a ring of cold steel press itself to the back of my head, “Now talk.”

                “Yes ma’am.” I raised my hands, both in a gesture of peace, and as a preparation to get the gun away from her if she got antsy. Then I started well, talking. “Where are we, what do you wish to know, there is no need to be unfriendly, and I will happily answer any questions I know the answer to if you will please just put the gun down. I really don’t like having a gun to my head and I assure you I have no idea where we are or what I’ve done to earn your displeasure.”

                There was a sigh from behind me, “So you don’t know either. What’s your name?”

                “Everyone calls me Bones,” I replied, “May I ask your name?”

                “Reiju Vinsmoke.”

                My heart skipped at least three beats as my racing mind skidded to a halt, Oh…FUCK…

                She sounded like she was smiling, “I see you know who I am.”

                “I think I know where we are now,” I declared calmly, “Although I don’t think you’ll believe what I’m going to say.”

                “I’ve been to the New World, try me.”

                “Would you believe I’m from a parallel universe where our current world is just a story?” I asked calmly, completely certain she’d never believe me.

                Instead, the gun pressed a little more firmly against the back of my head, “Go on. Let’s see how deep you can dig this hole. I’m morbidly curious.”

                “I was filling out a form for shits and giggles, a wish granting form more or less. Never imagined it would actually work. My wish was to come to this world and join the main characters on their adventures,” I explained, “One in particular I think will interest you is…would you please not have that pointed at my head for a moment? What I’m about to say will get a reaction, and I’d rather that reaction not be a twitch of your trigger finger.”

                “Not happening,” Reiju told me coldly.

                “Why don’t you just stick a hand to me and if you don’t like what I say you can poison me?” I asked, “That would be a much more formidable interrogation tactic don’t you think?”

                “I don’t want you having any time to think of a way out of it if I decide to kill you,” Reiju replied, “Besides, your interest in it makes me wonder if you have an antidote on you that I missed.”

                I sighed, “Fuckin’ ay Reiju, I’m tryin’ to tell you where your brother Sanji is and that…” POW! “OWWWWOOO! MY HEAD DAMMIT!” In wake of having my bell royally rung, I lurched forward and clutched it, rubbing the back of it where I’d felt the bullet bounce off and checking my hand for blood. To my surprise, despite what felt like a bruise forming, I wasn’t even bleeding.

                Then Reiju had me in a chokehold, “You know, maybe I should poison you.”

                I went completely limp and settled back against her. That was a very nice chest pressed up against the throbbing back of my head, “If that will make you happy. Your brother is at the Sea Restaurant Baratie working as the sous chef. The fact that your bullet didn’t work means that the wish granting form did, which means you were transported here without a trace and can live a life away from Germa’s shadow. I apologize if I’ve upset you by bringing you out here, I was just trying to do something nice for you.”

                Her grip tightened, “Why?”

                “Because you’re absolutely fucking beautiful, Judge did you dirty, and I felt like you deserved it,” I replied.

                Her grip tightened a bit more as she growled, “Explain.”

                “He did a surgery or treatment or something on you so that you can’t disobey him right?” I asked, “He basically killed your mother, turned three of your little brothers into heartless killing machines and tried to do the same thing to you, made you kill and destroy and do so many horrible things that you decided that you and all of Germa deserved death for it, aaand yeah. Your life sucks. I wanted to make it less sucky for you. Bit of that empathy thing Judge looks down on so much. Going by your reaction to it, perhaps whatever was granting my wish was a bit hamfisted about it, but if it got you out of that situation and somewhere you can live a happy life…then I can’t complain. Kill me if that’s what you honestly want, if we’re in the East Blue like I requested, then I’ve done a good thing, and I hope your life is all the happier for it.”

                I lapsed into silence. I could have gotten out of the chokehold, but Reiju’s abilities meant I’d be poisoned in a heartbeat, and it would also sour any chance of this turning friendly I might have had. Optimistic to the point of stupidity thinking she might be friendly after literally shooting me in the back of the head? Probably, but also practical. I had no way to circumvent the effects of poison if she did decide to poison me, and I had no desire at all to fight her.

                She was quiet for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t mind, her breathing was slow and steady even if I could feel her pulse pounding. Finally her pulse slowed down and then after a moment more she asked, “And the reason why I’m naked?”

                Blood spurted out my nose, “Come again?!” My hands immediately flew down the buttons of my shirt and I shrugged out of it and the coat I was wearing over it as I sat up before proffering them to her with my eyes pointed firmly away, “Please cover up.”

                She accepted it and sounded slightly peeved, “Should I be insulted that your first instinct on learning I’m naked is to want me to cover up?”

                “Don’t get me wrong,” I shot back without averting my eyes from the horizon, “I very much want to see you naked. I want to hold you, kiss you, cuddle you, go at it with you all night and then some more when we wake up. I want all that very badly. BUT, I will not violate your privacy like that. If I’m going to see that, I’d rather it be on account of you willingly and happily showing me because we’re getting along that well. If that never happens, so be it. A friend’s a friend and that’s not something to be taken lightly.”

                Reiju was quiet for a moment and then a rustle of cloth later she declared, “Ok, you can look now.”

                I smiled and turned around, “Well then, now that we’ve got the unpleasantries out of the way, it’s an honor to…meet you…” I trailed off at the end there because my brain was too busy short circuiting. Blue eyes, I’d known about those. Pink hair, I’d known about that. General bordering on supernaturally perfect physique and beauty? I’d known about that.

                Knowing and being ready for it are two entirely different things.

                I’ve never gotten lost in a woman’s eyes before, but right then, with Reiju smiling at me? I couldn’t have told you my name if asked. It wasn’t until I heard wood shattering that I realized I had the bench I was sitting on in a death grip. Reiju’s smile faltered and she quirked a spiral eyebrow, yes, actually spiral shaped, and pink. It was quite odd once I noticed it, not off putting by any stretch, but certainly unusual.

                “Is something wrong?” she asked with a note of concern.

                Thankfully my brain was at least starting to fire back up by then, “The story didn’t do your beauty justice Ms. Reiju.” I shook my head, trying to clear the pink fog from it before scrunching my eyes shut and bowing slightly with my hands on my knees, “I sincerely apologize if my staring has made you uncomfortable.”

                Reiju sounded like she was smiling, “I’m a princess. It happens. You’re not very good at talking to people huh?”

                I grimaced, “I’m actually a lot better than I used to be. It just all goes out the window when I’m flustered. The whole ‘gun to my head’ thing probably didn’t help much. Completely reasonable reaction on your part,” I added, “Frankly I would’ve gone ahead and poisoned me had our situations been reversed and then held the cure over my kidnapper’s head.”

                Reiju shrugged with a small smile, “I thought about it, but without knowing your body type there was a chance of making it too strong and me not getting any answers out of you at all. Holding your nose shut until you woke up and then sticking your own gun to your head was a more surefire option. Also, judging by the fact that your skull bounced a point blank bullet of a quite frankly rather stout caliber, I’m not sure my poison would’ve done much to you.”

                I nodded, “Fair point. If you don’t mind, may I see the gun in question? Prior to you shooting me I was under the impression that I wasn’t in the slightest bit bullet proof.”

                Reiju quirked an eyebrow at me, and then lifted a forty-five caliber revolver from under the bench she was sitting on HOW THE HELL DID THAT NOT KILL ME?!

                My eyes were about the size of dinner plates as I recognized the weapon, “HOW AM I NOT DEAD?! That should’ve splattered my head like an egg!”

                Reiju shrugged, “You did say something about a wish granting form right? Was one of your wishes to be bullet proof?”

                I blinked as she pointed that out and then remembered that I actually had taken ‘Strong Resistance: Physical Attacks’. I laughed, “Ha! You’re right, that does explain it.”

                Reiju gave me a thoughtful look, “So…you’re seriously expecting me to believe you about being from another world?”

                I shook my head, “Not in the slightest, but please ask yourself, if I had a better explanation, why would I give the one that you’d never believe?”

                Reiju thought for a moment, “Because the real explanation would make me try much harder to kill you. Your earlier acceptance of your death to my poison could’ve been a ruse, as could everything else you’ve said. Really…” suddenly the barrel of the gun was in my face again, “I should just shoot you in the eye and chase down that lovely tip about my dear little brother.”

                I raised my hands in a seemingly peaceful gesture and replied calmly, “You could do that, but I’m not even bleeding from one of those bullets, and while it might hurt me if you got me right in the eye or throat, do you think it’s worth risking a mutual kill? One of the other things I asked for was strength comparable to a giant. If you shoot to kill and do not succeed instantly, rest assured that no matter how much I like you, I will neutralize the threat to my life. Given that I don’t know if your poison can hurt me or not, the only way I can do that is to kill you.”

                “You think you can?” Reiju asked coldly, “I’m a seasoned commander of the Germa Double 6 and as much as I may hate what he did to us, my father is very good at making super soldiers. Bullets are as useless against me as they are you, and I’ve been trained as a soldier since I was a child.”

                I nodded, “Mmhmm, my point exactly. We are both extremely dangerous, and a fight between us right now presents no benefit to either side with quite a bit of risk for both parties. Your best option if you sincerely wish to kill me is to wait until I sleep and then poison me while I’m unconscious.”

                “And since you know that,” Reiju finished thoughtfully, “You won’t sleep until you can do so well clear of me to prevent me from doing so.”

                “Just so,” I agreed, “However, while you’re waiting for me to sleep and present you with an opportune moment to strike, you should really ask yourself what I could possibly stand to gain from getting you away from Germa and back to your brother.”

                “Ransom, weaken our forces, political leverage, personal grudge against Germa, intent to rape or seduce…you did already admit to desiring my body,” Reiju ticked off easily, “the list of reasons why you might’ve kidnapped me aren’t that hard to imagine. The list of reasons to let you live on the other hand boil down to the chance that you might be able to kill me too, which as you know…” her eyes hardened, “Isn’t much of a deterrent for me.”

                I nodded and lowered my hands, “Very well, let me add one more. Every other person you’ve killed, you’ve done at the behest of Germa, at the order of your father who you could not disobey. That alone is already eating at you and destroying your sense of self worth. Nobody is telling you to kill me.”

                Reiju’s eyes widened, “What?”

                I smiled thinly, “You heard me. Nobody. Is telling you. To kill me. If you do so, then it is your choice and yours alone. There’ll be nobody else to blame. No way to shift or mitigate the guilt. I have done nothing to harm you and will not do so except in self-defense. So go ahead Reiju,” I extended my hand to her as if to shake, “poison me. That’s your best chance to kill me. Go ahead, and make your first REAL kill if your paranoia is so strong that you can’t accept an offer of help and friendship when it’s given.”

                Reiju couldn’t have looked more stunned if I had slapped her. Her life might not have meant jack shit to her, but her conscience was another matter entirely. Narrowing the options down to ‘poison’, ‘potential fight to the death with a high chance of mutual kill’ or ‘be my friend’, and then adding the idea that killing me would be the first kill she was truly responsible for to eliminate the first two was a risky strategy. It was entirely possible she’d say ‘hell with it’ and actually kill me. Judging by what I knew of her though, I liked my odds. She just needed one more push…

                I softened my smile, my hand still extended, “You don’t have to decide right now Reiju. I want to be your friend, and I’m willing to wait as long as you need to decide. Why don’t you pass me the oars, and I’ll start rowing us towards the nearest island? You can keep the gun. I wouldn’t use it even if you gave it to me.” Present opportunity to postpone decision, reestablish friendly intentions, deescalate and smile…

                Reiju took a deep breath and then reached behind her to hand me an oar before trading hands and giving me the other one, “Row then. I’ll steer.”

                I smiled as I accepted the oars, “Of course.”

                Reiju got up and started carefully backing towards the other end of the boat, which I now noticed was actually pretty large. By the time she reached the tiller, there was about fifteen feet between us along with a fair bit of supplies, a rifle that Reiju took to the back with her, and whatever was under that big lumpy tarp taking up half the boat.

                As she settled by the tiller, I dipped the oars into the water and pulled, blinking in surprise when I found it scooted the boat forward effortlessly. I took my hand off the right oar to blink at it in surprise and then smiled as I started rowing again, “Making a delivery of Bink’s Sake through the sea…Sea wind blows, to where who knows, the waves will be our guiiide…”

…

                The sun had just started to poke its head over the horizon when Reiju let out a sigh with a small smile, “We’re here.”

                I twisted to look over my shoulder and a smile broke over my face, “HA! I know exactly where we are now!”

                I turned back and started rowing a bit faster, “We’re exactly where we need to be! I just hope we’re not too late!”

                Reiju frowned at me, “Oh? And where precisely is that?”

                I paused and remembered that she had no idea of my plan. Aside from my singing, not a single other word had passed between us for the rest of the night. I smiled, “Ah right, we were too busy doing the whole ‘potentially hostile stand off’ thing,” I jerked a thumb over my shoulder, “That island there is Shells Town, home to the East Blue Infamous Axe-Hand Morgan. He’s a tyrant, a pompous asshole, and a Marine Captain in charge of the local Marine Branch. This is also the location where Captain Monkey D. Luffy, yes Monkey D. as in ‘the grandson of Marine Vice-Admiral Garp the Hero’, will meet or if we’re late already met his first mate, the infamous bounty hunter Roronoa Zoro.”

                That of course meant jack-all to Reiju, but one bit did get her attention, “Garp the Hero has a grandson? Are you intending to join him?”

                I nodded, “As are you if ya want a near guaranteed path to finding Sanji.”

                Reiju stiffened slightly, “What do you mean?”

                “I told ya Sanji’s livin’ his dream of being a cook right?” I explained, “He’s the second finest chef in the East Blue, probably in the top twenty of the world at minimum. He’s also picked up a second dream since you saw him last: He wants to find the legendary All Blue, a sea where all the fish from all the oceans of the world can be found. If it exists, smart money’s on it being in the Grand Line somewhere. Captain Monkey D. Luffy will need a cook. Sanji will need a ride to the Grand Line. One battle with the remnants of a pirate armada later and the strongest cook will join the crew of the next Pirate King.”

                Reiju sucked in a deep breath and went pale. I knew immediately I’d upset her as she colored back up and turned nearly the color of her hair. “You didn’t say he was going to become a pirate!” Reiju exclaimed furiously, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

                “You didn’t believe me about being from an alternate reality, why would you believe me about knowing the future?” I asked flatly, “Besides, it’s the best course for him. If he doesn’t join Luffy, then he’ll spend the rest of his life sitting in that restaurant with his dream and ambition rotting away, wondering what could’ve been for the next two years.”

                Reiju started to say something and then something hit her and the color drained back out of her face, “What happens in two years?”

I scowled, “Judge finds out where he is in two years and comes after him. At that point, if he’s not strong enough, like only venturing through the Grand Line can make him, he’ll be dragged away in chains to be married off to one of Big Mom’s daughters. He will then be unceremoniously killed at the wedding ceremony along with Judge, your brothers and you if they catch you, allowing Big Mom to seize control of Germa’s cloning technology and overrun the world with an endless army of clones of her already monstrously powerful children.”

                I started rowing again, “Needless to say, I find that quite unacceptable.”

                Reiju covered her mouth and looked away, quickly closing her eyes to try and steady herself. I watched her for a moment and then saw a tear roll down her cheek. I sat forward, “Reiju. Sanji is not the same helpless child you saved back then. He’s a bona fide badass capable of kicking entire buildings around like they’re rubber balls. Using nothing but his feet he can fight on par with hundred million beri bounty pirates! He’s an absolute beast in combat who can beat the shit out of fishmen underwater, again, using nothing but his feet!”

                “He’s every bit as capable as the rest of you,” I added quietly, “He’s grown so much that he may very well wind up protecting you this time around. If I hadn’t brought you out here to meet him and maybe join him, then in two years, when Judge jumps off into Big Mom’s trap like the blithering idiot he is, he would protect you, and beat the shit out of your brothers for payback while he was at it.”

                “I know you want to protect him, but just like then, the best way to do that now is to let him spread his wings and go show the world how high he can fly,” I declared gently before I started rowing again.

                “I don’t know the exact location of the Baratie,” I explained as I settled back into my rhythm, “What I do know is that Luffy will find his way to it soon. Shortly after he does, the Baratie will face an attack by Don Krieg and his pirate armada, the second strongest pirate crew currently in the East Blue. Normally I’d say Sanji could win alone, but Don Krieg plays dirty, and Sanji’s going to need at least one more beast to help him win. Luffy is that beast. So if you believe anything I’ve said, then believe me when I tell you that Luffy is Sanji’s absolute best chance for survival, because Luffy would declare war on the World Government itself to protect one of his friends, and he’s strong enough to black their eye and get away with it.”

                Reiju gave me a watery look and then, “How can you be so sure of them? How can you speak like you already know them and what they’re capable of?”

                I smiled slightly, “Because I’ve already seen them do it, and I have faith they can do it again. If they can’t,” my smile widened, “then I’ll just have to do it for them.”

                Reiju was quiet for a few moments and then she sat forward and put her face in her hands, “You’re insane.”

                “I never claimed I wasn’t,” I replied with a now large and genuine smile, “but all the best people are.”

…

                While I tied the boat off at the dock, Reiju hopped off the boat onto the dock, easily landing on her toes before pausing to wait while I straightened up. I noticed she had the rifle hung over her shoulder by the strap and the revolver in her pocket. I smiled, “Thank you for grabbing those. I wouldn’t have been comfortable leaving them in the boat unattended.”

                Reiju nodded, “Of course, it’s just common sense not to leave one’s weapons lying about. So, you said you’re familiar with this town?”

                I shook my head, “I know there’s at least one restaurant, and I know a few names. That’s about it.”

                Reiju sighed, “So you don’t know where a clothing store might be?”

                I shook my head, “Not a clue, but I’m sure we can ask around.”

                Reiju nodded, turned to head towards town and then turned back to me, “Do you have any money?”

                I blinked and patted my back pocket where I usually kept my wallet, eyes widening in surprise as I found it right where it had been when I passed out on the couch at home before waking up in the boat. I pulled it out and opened it, my eyes nearly popping out of my head in surprise as I found it stuffed slam full of cash. I took a deep breath, exhaled, started rifling through for the biggest number I could find and a moment later pulled out a 10,000 beri note, “Is this a big number?”

                Reiju raised an eyebrow and stepped a little closer to hiss, “For royalty no, for civilians quit flashing that around. How much have you got in there?!”

                “Looks like the entirety of my savings from my world translated into beri,” I replied quietly, “If I remember the conversion right it’s a few million beri. I never spent money on anything much and I had a pretty good job, so it built up pretty quickly.”

                Reiju exhaled, “Good, that means we’ve got enough to buy me some clothes and get supplies. I’m sure you want your shirt and jacket back.”

                I nodded as we started walking, “You’re welcome to them any time you want them. I’ll be needing to buy some more clothes as well. Just because Sanji can pull off being an incredible badass in a nice suit doesn’t mean I can.”

                Reiju raised an eyebrow, “Oh? And here I thought you were just a member of Aegis Zero stringing me along.”

                I actually paused for a second, “That hadn’t even occurred to me, but you’re right, it does look a bit like one of their suits doesn’t it?” A grin broke out over my face, “Hah, thanks Reiju! That’s actually a perfect cover story for how I know so much. Guess I’d better get good at fighting in a suit to help sell it. Wonder if I can improvise Six Powers…” I mused before remembering, “No wait, got that too, guess it’ll just be an instinct thing…”

                “The tricky part will be convincing me that it’s just a story,” She declared quietly, “Because all the evidence points straight to it. The only thing I don’t know yet is why, which you said quite a bit about already, and how you managed to get me halfway across the world without waking me up, which can be easily explained in two words.” Said two words obviously being ‘Devil Fruit’.

                “If I’ve got a transportation based devil fruit, I don’t know about it,” I replied, “I hope I don’t since I’m planning to eat any devil fruit I find.”

                “Just because you don’t doesn’t mean somebody else working with you doesn’t,” Reiju shot back.

                Silence reigned for a few moments and then I sighed, “You’re never going to trust me are you?”

                “Not likely.”

.

…

.

                “So what were you doing in a suit like that if you’re not a member of Cipher Pol?” Reiju asked quietly as we walked up the street a few hours later, several new bags full of clothes and supplies in tow, “Normally only government agents dress like that barring formal occasions.”

                I shrugged, “Wish I knew. I don’t even own a suit, let alone a white one, or one this well fitted. Must’ve come with the form. Actually…” I frowned, “Yeah, that makes sense. One of the options I selected was Cipher Pol grade sneaking abilities, I guess that came with being dressed for the part.”

                “You are really not helping your case in convincing me that you’re not Cipher Pol,” Reiju declared dryly.

                “Would a Cipher Pol agent have a cover story this bad?” I shot back.

                “If they were trying to convince me they weren’t Cipher Pol by pretending to be a terrible liar with an unbelievable cover story,” Reiju replied.

                I couldn’t do anything except sigh in frustration. Then something occurred to me, “You said you wouldn’t believe me about not being Cipher Pol, but if you think I’m Cipher Pol then that means you acknowledge that my intel is almost certainly valid. Am I right?”

                Reiju sniffed and wouldn’t look at me, “Even though your story is ridiculous, yes, I believe you about everything else you said. Nobody except for me, my brothers and my father knew about the talks with Big Mom. If you were able to intercept our communications, then there’s absolutely no reason to believe you couldn’t know the things you warned me about. So, until you’re proven wrong, I’ll accept that you are correct.” Then she gave me a look that absolutely promised death, “And when you slip up and reveal that you’ve been lying to me, I will kill you.”

                There was no waver, no hint of false bravado or emotion. In her mind it was simple, cold, hard fact. She honestly intended to try to kill me if I was wrong. A sobering thought to be sure, especially since she was one of the very few people I was likely to encounter pre-time skip who would actually be capable of it given my new resilience.

                “Again Reiju, I am not lying. Everything I have said has been to the best of my knowledge true,” I replied before adding, “And I’ve already told you, if you really want to kill me that bad, then feel free to try. Should you succeed and survive doing so, then I wish you the best of luck in finding your brother. If you’re that desperate to be rid of me, then I’ll give you however much money you think you’ll need and my best guess at a heading.”

                Reiju actually stopped in her tracks and stared at me, “What?”

                I stopped and turned to look at her, “You heard me. If you want to go by yourself, then I won’t stop you. You can have half the money I’ve got left, the guns and the boat, plus everything we bought for you this morning and the supplies. I hope to see you smiling at the Baratie when we get there.”

                Reiju stared at me for a moment, “You’re serious.”

                I started checking bags, “Aaand you’re about to take everything I just offered you and run. Sad, but reasonable. Let’s see, this is yours, this is yours, ah, didn’t know you bought that…very sexy,” I declared as I flicked a glance at her before returning to sorting the bags, “Aaand this appears to be the last bag of things for you I have. Please hold while I get you some money.”

                Reiju made no move to accept the bags, she was still just staring at me. I hooked the bags on my thumb and gently waved my hand, “Reeeijuuu…are you still in there?”

                Reiju frowned at me, “You’re…serious. You dragged me all the way out here and now you’re just giving me supplies, your weapons and money and your boat, just completely willing to let me sail off into the distance knowing you might never see me again?”

                I frowned at her, “Reiju, of course I’ll see you again. Even if you don’t go find the Baratie and run back to Germa, I’ll see you in two years when we kick Big Mom’s door in to get our cook back.”

                “And what if I take Sanji and run?” Reiju asked quickly, “What if we’re not there when you get to the Baratie? What if we’ve already run away and disappeared into the wind?”

                I gave her a very flat look and then I smiled as kindly as I could, “Then good luck. I hope the rest of your life is a happy one, please give Sanji my best regards, and enjoy the hell out of his cooking for me. We’ll just have to make do without him. I’ll just have to handle the opponents he would have myself. I don’t have the same morals he does, so at least a few of them should be a bit easier for me than they would’ve been for him.”

                “Why?” Reiju demanded quietly. I blinked. Head down, teeth clenched, fists clenched, is she shaking?

                “Reiju…?”

                “GODDAMMIT WHY?!” Reiju demanded as she jerked her head up and I saw tears welling in her eyes, “You said it’s because I’m beautiful and because you think I deserve better and because you wanted to help me, but I’m the fucking crown princess and I have armies of men who will throw their lives away for me in a heartbeat and money beyond the wildest dreams of commoners and connections and everything a person could want, and yes I’m beautiful. I’m gorgeous. I know that, but goddammit none of that is a reason to help me! Are you just trying to get in my pants? Do you want me to feel indebted to you? Are you trying to ransom me? I don’t know! And it’s driving me crazy! WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. FROM. ME?!”

                I glanced around at the people on the street who’d stopped to stare at Reiju’s outburst. I raised my voice, “Government business. Move along and forget what you heard or take it up with Captain Morgan!”

The street cleared instantly as though I’d whipped out a cannon and threatened to start blasting.

“Government?” Reiju sniffled.

“Princesses count as government,” I replied, “And quite frankly if any of them want to bring that bastard Morgan out here to me, I’ll just tear him to pieces a little bit ahead of schedule. Now as for your question,” I sighed, “Look Reiju, I’m not a good person. I’ve got a little bit more empathy than your brothers but not a hell of a lot. I try to be a good person, but there’s nothing but a lump of coal where my heart should be. I had good morals hammered into me from a young age. I try to be honest and helpful even though deep down I really don’t care about anybody. What Judge did to you and your family goes against everything I was ever taught, everything I believe in and it is completely unacceptable to me. If not for the fact that doing so would’ve caused more strife than it solved, I’d have brought your brothers out here too. If I could fix what Judge did to them, I would, but I can’t. You’re the only one I could save right now from that particular tragedy, and protecting even one person from a bit of suffering is the right thing to do.”

“You want the god’s honest truth?” I asked quietly, “I want to remember how to care again Reiju. My pride is all that’s kept me going for years, and I was only able to cling to that because I knew it was my only lifeline. I want to enjoy life again. I want to wake up in the morning and actually be excited by the fact that a new day is starting. I’m freakin’ depressed Reiju, and I know you are too no matter how much or how well you hide it. Misery loves company, but I’d never begrudge someone a chance at a happiness. That’s the motto of my people: Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I hope having the second two can help you learn to enjoy the first again, and maybe now that I’m here, I can do the same.

“What do I want from you Reiju? Honestly?” I made a little helpless gesture, “I just want a chance to make you smile. Even if I never get to see it, if I can make you smile again, a real smile, not that poker face crap,” I added as I pushed the corners of my own mouth up into a smile, “then I’m happy. Makes me feel like there’s some shred of validity to my existence. If you were to leave right now and I never see you again, I’ll tell myself you’re better off until such time as I’m proven wrong. If I find out you’re in trouble and there’s even a ghost of a chance I can make it in time, then I’ll come save you.”

Reiju looked at me through watery eyes for what seemed like a long time and then she stepped forward and thunked her head into the center of my chest, “You’re insane. You’re a deluded, depressed idiot with a hero complex trying to be a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet and carry me away from Germa to live a happy life and be all noble and not even care if you benefit from it because you’re that crazy that you’d do something like this for someone like me… just because it’s the right thing to do and helping me will make you feel like you’re not some worthless shell?”

I sighed and smiled faintly, “Yes Reiju, I thought we had already established that I’m a complete and utter basket case.”

“People like that don’t exist,” Reiju declared quietly.

“Talented people dealing with depression and an acute awareness that they’re not living up to their own ideals, slowly fading away into an empty shell of their former selves until we’re left alone and bitter in our old age looking back on the wreckage we called a life, begging the whole time for a chance to do something worthwhile that’ll make some kind of mark on history so that we can tell ourselves when it’s all over that it was worth it?” I asked bluntly, “Hate to break it to ya beautiful, but I’m pretty sure we’re a beri a bushel back home.”

The silence started to get uncomfortable and then a voice cleared their throat next to us, I turned and found a man almost as tall as I was in a marine uniform looking decidedly uncomfortable. “She’s terribly sleep deprived and she’s had a rough time,” I explained quietly, “Could you point us to the nearest inn? Milady needs some rest.”

The man nodded, “Of course, I’ll lead you right to the inn. Um, one more thing, you said something about it being government business and Captain Morgan?”

I gave him a cheery smile, “Well I was hardly going to let an entire street stand here and see Milady in such a state was I? Sometimes the most efficient option isn’t the most honest. I do sincerely apologize if I’ve caused anyone any distress, but I’m sure everyone knows how it feels to need a moment of privacy. If clearing a street makes Milady happy, then I’ll clear as many as it takes. You would do the same for the lady you care for, yes?”

The marine blushed, “I’m, not so fortunate as to have such a lady in my life, but yes. Ah, very well. No harm seems to have been done, so I’ll forgo fining you for disrupting the peace provided you promise not to do it again. Please follow me this way to the inn.”

I nodded, “Of course.” I glanced down, “Reiju, you good to walk? You need me to carry you?”

Reiju took a deep breath and then straightened up and composed herself, “Yes, I’ll be fine. You said something about an inn? I really need a shower.”

The marine nodded, “Right this way.”

…

                An hour and a half later, Reiju stepped out of the bathroom drying her hair and clad in pink and lavender striped pajamas, “Shower’s yours. Water’s not hot enough for me.”

                I got up from the chair I’d been sitting in for the last twenty minutes with some clean clothes in hand, “How hot is hot enough?”

                Reiju shot me a glance out from under the towel, “HOT.”

                I nodded and started walking towards the bathroom, faltering as something hit me. Immune to most physical attacks, immune to poison, in an environment where any obvious coping mechanisms would be noticed and punished…is she trying to burn herself with the water as a form of self punishment for what she did with Germa?

                I shot her a glance and saw her looking back at me. Her eyes went wide when she saw the look on my face and she quickly averted her gaze, “D-don’t read too much into it. The increased tolerance to heat and cold makes it hard to get a shower hot enough for my muscles to unwind. You’re, not going to be looking for signs of mental illness in everything I do are you?” she asked nervously.

                I blinked, and then gave her a wan little smile, “The mere fact that you caught that tells me you know the obvious signs well enough to hide them.”

                Reiju sniffed, “My coping mechanism is eating thank you.”

                I blinked and then smiled, “Good, that’s one that won’t hurt you.”

                Reiju crossed her arms and frowned at me, “Calm down, I’m not going to hurt myself. Are you a psychologist? You keep swearing up and down you’re not Cipher Pol, so what were you?”

                “A real estate agent actually,” I declared with a small smile, “Psychology comes easily to me, but I don’t care enough about people to be a good shrink and I believe rather firmly in not obstructing people seeking help. The real estate thing just kinda, happened, and turned out, I’m actually fairly decent at it.”

                “So despite claiming to be honest, you’re also a fabulous liar,” Reiju surmised.

                “Probably,” I admitted, “Spy stories and battles of wit, deception and intrigue excite me. The smarter the two I’m watching go at it are, the more interesting it is. Not to say a good old slug fest isn’t amazing to watch too, but characters feel more formidable to me when they can get a mile out of an inch. You watch masters go at it often enough, you start to pick up a few tricks, especially when there’s a third master on the sidelines explaining what the hell just happened or insights into the participants heads.”

                “Meaning that not only were you a good liar to start with, you’ve also had extensive training in how to be a manipulative bastard,” Reiju mused as she sat down on the bed.

                “I’ve had extensive training in how to be a magnificent bastard,” I replied with a smug grin, “which just makes it that much more impressive that I’m still such a stand up guy don’tcha think?”

                “You see,” Reiju mused, “Saying things like that just makes me believe you less and think I should kill you in your sleep more.”

                “We’ve both established that we’re each borderline suicidal on a good day,” I replied, “and quite frankly the adrenaline rush of having you blatantly contemplating offing me is really getting my motor running. I’ve been in this world less than twenty four hours and I already feel more alive than I have in years.”

                “And insane,” Reiju mused, “I almost forgot that you’re completely insane.”

                “True,” I nodded with a grin, “Very true.”

                “So now the question is whether or not you’re working alone,” Reiju declared.

                “Of course not,” I replied nonchalantly, prompting Reiju’s eyes to widen. My grin grew, “I’m working with you ain’t I?”

                Reiju’s jaw dropped and I turned and walked into the bathroom, pausing before I closed the door to add, “You know Reiju, it’s really quite fun to watch you play 4-D chess with this imaginary devious persona you think I’ve got.”

                Before I could even start to close the door Reiju was off the bed and shooting towards me like a rocket. I reached up and caught her hands by the wrists as they went for my throat. It was quite fascinating to learn that apparently I had indeed gotten the strength boost to match my durability, and speed and perception as well. Reiju was an absolute physical beast, yet for all her struggling to get loose from my grip, it felt like she wasn’t even moving.

                I casually tossed her hands over my shoulder and wrapped my arms around her waist as she crashed into me. I smiled, “And here we are again at an impasse. You can poison me, but you don’t know if it’ll kill me quick enough to stop me from crushing you.”

                Reiju suddenly took hold of my head and looked me dead in the eye, “Do. Not. FUCK with me, Bones.”

                I sighed, the levity of teasing her had deflated like a balloon with her being legitimately upset, “Little too much teasing?”

                “TEASING?!” she all but shrieked, “This is your idea of TEASING?!”

                I nodded, “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

                “Damn you,” Reiju declared sharply, “Damn you straight to hell. You’re insane and you’ve kidnapped me and you still have the audacity to tell me you’re doing it altruistically while still giggling at my expense over not knowing what kind of insane conspiracy you’re working for?”

                I’d already come to pity that life had made her this paranoid, but right then, I was just getting very frustrated. The momentary amusement of seeing her on a Snipe Hunt had vanished when she snapped.

                I wanted to blow up. I really, really wanted to explode. It was irrational, but dammit if her frustration and refusal to believe me wasn’t pissing me off too. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, another one and then I started thinking as the red haze in my head started fading.

                I cracked an eye, “You won’t kill me, and you won’t cripple me either. That seed of doubt that I might be telling an impossible truth or at least be genuine in my admitted motivations is in your head now, so you won’t do anything too permanent because you don’t want to risk repaying kindness with death or crippling. So I can’t offer you that because you know that I know that, and thus we both know that it would be an ostensibly safe way for me to try to manipulate you into trusting me, which would only make you even more paranoid because you know that I know.

“All the words in the world are worthless to me because you know I’m good with them,” I continued, noting that Reiju was looking thoughtful now too as I rolled on. “Likewise, given you’re convinced this is some kind of massive conspiracy, there isn’t anything I can do to prove to you that we’re even in the East Blue since if it were a massive enough conspiracy, the entire island could be faked.”

Reiju’s eyes widened and I smiled thinly, “Well, at least you’re not that paranoid. Anyway,” I sighed, “continuing on, you could also suspect that you’re trapped in a devil fruit illusion since there are fruits capable of doing that, and thus might not even actually be anywhere other than your bed. You’re familiar enough with keeping up a carefully crafted façade yourself that it’s not inconceivable to you for me to be just that good of an actor.

“Aaand all that adds up to me having absolutely no idea how to get you to trust me,” I declared. “Honestly, it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier for me if you took me up on that offer of parting ways I made earlier. I don’t know why you stuck around, I can only guess you either trust me more than you’re willing to admit to either of us, don’t like the idea of taking off into unknown waters yourself, or you’re hoping that by continuing to be around me you might spot a loose thread to yank and unravel whatever conspiracy you think you’re seeing.”

“So,” I smiled, “I’m going to step in here, use the bathroom, take a shower, probably use the bathroom again when I get out, and when I step out, I hope you’ll have come up with some sort of test to decide whether or not you can trust me.”

Reiju pulled herself up a bit to tell me quietly in my ear, “When you step out of this bathroom, you’re a dead man.”

“Why wait?” I asked as I removed my hands from around her waist, “You’ve got your fingers on my carotid artery and your thumb on the base of my spine, poison right now would do me in in a matter of seconds, and you know bullets and physical force aren’t a viable option.”

Reiju’s grip tightened a little and even though I couldn’t see her face, I knew doubt was all over it. I stayed very still and after a few moments she told me softly, “I also know men will die for their cause if it’s one they believe in.”

“So the only question you need to answer is the same one we started with,” I declared softly, “And no matter how unbelievable you may find it, you already have the answer.”

Reiju took a deep breath, and then let go and stepped away, quickly turning away so I couldn’t see her expression, “I’ll see you when you get out.”

I nodded, “See ya then.”

…

                An hour later I stepped out of the bathroom toweling my hair dry and found Reiju sitting on the bed with two of the bags stuffed suspiciously full of what looked like everything I had offered to let her take in the event she wanted to leave, and a stack of papers on the bed next to her.

                “I’ve decided,” she declared quietly, “The only way I can verify the truth of your words is if you’re nowhere nearby. So, I want you to write down everything you believe will happen, in order. No cryptic bullshit, I want details. Stuff that you couldn’t possibly know or arrange before hand. I will go with this supposed grandson of Garp the Hero, and if you’re telling the truth, then I will see you at whatever rendezvous you believe you will be able to make and offer you my sincerest apologies for doubting you. If you are lying and this does turn out to be some sort of conspiracy, then we will never see each other again, and if we do, I will kill you.”

                “And if I am insane as you speculated earlier?” I asked quietly.

                “If I am reunited with my brother, but everything else you say is wrong, then I will know my judgment of you is correct. You’re insane…” she declared before adding so softly that I almost didn’t hear her, “…but you’re also hopelessly smitten with me and would do anything in the world to help me.”

                She jerked her head to the side and shoved her hand out with the paper and pen, pointedly looking away from me with her eyes scrunched shut and a look of anger and hurt all over her face.

                I blinked in surprise as that registered and then crossed the room to accept the pen and paper, “Very well. But Reiju, understand that if I say something MUST happen and the events leading up to it occur, you need to take it very seriously. Lives will be riding on the outcomes of the events I’m about to record for you.”

                Reiju nodded sharply, “If you really are telling the truth about knowing the future, and everything I see lines up with what you write, then I will treat it as valid intel.”

                I nodded and sat cross legged in the floor, immediately beginning to write.

…

                Several pages filled to the edge front and back later, I rose back to my feet and handed Reiju the papers. Reiju accepted them with a silent nod. I scratched the back of my head and exhaled, “That’s everything I can remember up to Loguetown. I hope it helps you. Once you reach Baratie, things start to get dangerous. Luffy and the others should be able to resolve everything without any intervention on your part, but if Nami steals the ship at the time I mentioned, then whether you believe me or not by then, you need to treat my warnings as truth and act accordingly.”

                Reiju nodded, “Very well, now go.”

                I sighed and then plastered on a small smile as I extended a hand, “Reiju.” She looked up and her eyes widened before glancing up at me. “Even if I’m completely wrong, about everything, I hope things will be better for you from now on. Best of luck to you.”

                Reiju’s expression went from surprise to outright shock and then a small smile broke over her face as she took my and shook it, “Yeah, you too Bones.”

                I nodded and turned, picking up the bags and walking out the door. I managed to make it all the way down to the boat, untied it from the dock and got far enough away from Shellstown that it was just a dot on the horizon. Then I turned away and screamed my frustration to the sky before devolving into a ranting, cussing fit.

This was not how waking up in the One Piece world in time to join Luffy at the same time as Zoro with one of my favorite characters in tow was supposed to go.

                “Oh relax,” a voice suddenly declared from behind me, prompting me to whirl so fast I almost fell out of the boat. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I saw who was poking their head up out from under the tarp.

.

.

.

                “I believe you completely,” Yamato declared as she sat up and gave me the smuggest grin that did very interesting things to my pulse once my heart remembered I was supposed to have one, “So, what’s our heading, partner?”

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Notes:

As this story seems to attract a lot of people who think I will care that they don't like it, please be informed now that if at any point you decide to drop and/or hate my work, I can and WILL delete hate comments faster than you can type them. I do not read hate comments beyond the initial skim to determine that they are hate comments, and I will forget them after laughing at whatever fool thought I was going to care that they don't like me.

I will then continue to write whatever the hell I want. In short: Don't like? Don't care!

I do love me some reader engagement, normal comments are very welcome, but does anyone seriously think I'm going to care about or reply to someone who does nothing but insult me and my hobby?

Chapter 2: Chapter 1

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

                Reiju sighed as she watched Bones’ boat slip over the horizon with the small spy glass she’d picked up when she and Bones separated to buy supplies, “I’m sorry Bones, but I can’t believe you. Not yet.” Then she knelt and started pulling out the other items she’d bought as she muttered, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t find out the truth for myself in a hurry.”

                She smiled slightly as she pulled out the string and magnet before glancing up at the sun, You may not be from another world Bones, but you’re definitely not from the Grand Line. A quick glance back at the magnet revealed it to be pointing in exactly the direction North should be and holding stable. Reiju nodded, And that proves that I’m at least definitely not in the New World. The magnet could be fake, but I doubt it, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter for this next step.

                She quickly pulled out the rest of what she had in the bag and sighed a few minutes later as the needle in her improvised compass settled to a stop in exactly the direction North should be. So I’m not in the Grand Line at all.

                She glanced up and then around, Definitely not the North Blue, too warm. And the serving sizes are much too small to be South Blue. That just leaves West and East. Also very easy to figure out.

                She gathered the items she’d bought back into her bag and casually bounced off the rooftop, landing lightly on the street thirty feet below. Her eyes darted about as she rose to her feet, noting the numerous expressions of shock from those who had seen her.

                A pair of Marines quickly ran up to her, “Miss! Are you alright?!”

                Reiju smiled slightly, So you WERE telling the truth about us being in the East Blue if nothing else. Then she turned her attention to the two Marines, “Yes I’m quite alright. As it happens, I’m looking for someone. Do you suppose you could help me out?”

                She paired the question with her cutest smile and the two poor Marines were nearly reduced to stammering stuttering wrecks, “Uh sure! Sure! We’ll help any way we can!”

                Bones might be the finest actor alive, but filling an entire city with actors of that caliber would be impossible.

                “I’m looking for a friend of mine,” Reiju explained, “He’s rather famous, so I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Does the name Roronoa Zoro ring any bells?”

                Both men went ghostly pale immediately and Reiju noted the reaction, feigning concern, “Oh no, he hasn’t been causing trouble has he?”

                The two men glanced around and were about to reply when a voice that made Reiju’s skin crawl piped up, “Oh my, you know that ruffian? A friend of his you say? Perhaps you’d like to make a little deal for his freedom?”

                Reiju turned and the glare she gave the blonde wretch behind her reduced him from swaggering to sniveling in an instant. “I’m sorry,” she declared icily, “Did you say something?”

                Said blonde wretch immediately scrabbled back to his feet, honestly, falling over from being glared at? How pathetic can a person be? I don’t even have Conqueror’s Haki. Reiju mused as the blonde fled loudly proclaiming that he said absolutely nothing.

                She turned back to the two Marines who were bowing. “We are really sorry about him,” one declared, “He thinks he’s hot sh-stuff because his father’s the Captain.”

                “If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask,” his partner added, “The look on Helmeppo’s face just then was worth any favor you might ask shy of risking the Captain’s wrath.”

                Reiju raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Is the Captain that fearsome?”

                The Marines nodded, “Yes ma’am, Captain Axe-Hand Morgan. He’s quite infamous in these waters for his strength and temper.”

                Reiju thought for a moment, “Let me guess, Zoro picked a fight with him?”

                The Marines shook their heads, “No, not quite.”

                “Helmeppo there had some rabid mutt he was going through town with, letting it attack whoever and using his father’s authority to keep anyone from shooting the damn thing,” one explained, “It went after a little kid when he took it into a restaurant and we weren’t allowed to stop it, that’s when Zoro stood up from the bar.”

                “He came out of nowhere and just shick-shick-shick!” his partner added, miming sword strikes with his hand, “No more dog. Helmeppo was furious and tried to attack him with a sword. Zoro kicked it out of his hand into the ceiling and had his own sword at the little twerp’s neck in an instant. Probably would’ve offed him right then and there if Helmeppo hadn’t started threatening to have the kid and her mother executed if anything happened to him.”

                “And you Marines let this happen?” Reiju asked sharply.

                They both flinched. “It’s not like we’re happy about it,” one declared.

                “But if we go against Captain Morgan, he’ll kill us,” the other explained, “Even if we somehow survived, he’d have us court martialed. Basically unless someone of higher rank shows up and does something about it, we’re completely powerless to stop him.”

                “Not like the raging bastard would accept it even if Garp the Hero himself court martialed him,” his partner muttered.

                “Come on man, don’t be a wet blanket,” his partner grumbled, “Keep the hope alive.”

                Reiju sighed, these two are either genuine as hell or as good of actors as Bones, “So where’s Zoro? I can’t imagine he just left it like that.”

                The taller of the two shook his head, “No ma’am, Helmeppo struck a deal with Zoro. Zoro survives one month, strung up in the courtyard of the base with no food or water and he goes free with no harm to come to the kid or her mother.”

                “We’d take you to him,” the shorter one declared, “But Captain Morgan would be after all our heads in an instant.”

                Reiju nodded, “I see.” Just like Bones said, “Thank you gentlemen, this has been informative. Don’t worry,” she added with a smile, “I’m sure things will be fine. Out of curiosity, how long has Zoro been hanging there?”

                “A week?” “Nah, it was a week yesterday.”

                “So, eight days?” Reiju asked.

                The two swapped a glance and then nodded in unison, “Yes’m. Eight days.”

                Reiju nodded, “I see. Well, I’m sure I’ve held you two up long enough. Have a nice day.” She turned and walked away. So tomorrow I get to find out just how accurate Bones’ predictions actually are, assuming they actually are predictions and not just a preview of some script.

.

…

.

                “So a wish granting form huh?” Yamato asked with a curious grin, “What was it like?”

                I blinked as the question took a few seconds to register through the shock of seeing her, “Were you under that tarp the entire time?” Granted the tarp had been quite lumpy, but I didn’t think it was lumpy enough to hide a beautiful eight and a half foot tall woman with horns half as long as my arms!

                Yamato pouted slightly, “Yeah. You and Reiju were so focused on each other it was easy to stay hidden, and since she was so wound up, I figured it was probably for the best to just lay low until you both calmed down. I mean, bullets don’t work on me either, but I’m like you, I don’t really want to know if poison will do anything to me. Oh and one more thing…” WHAP!

                I only narrowly managed to get my hand up in time to catch her fist as it shot out towards my face like a cannonball. The back of my hand stopped two inches short of my face and I knew immediately that I’d have been nursing a bloodied if not broken nose had I not caught it.

                She actually raised an eyebrow that I caught it before pulling it back with a grin, “Nice reflexes. Now as I was saying, no dying. You got me out of there so I can live my dream and see the world, so absolutely no dying until I can repay the favor. As strong as you are, you’d probably have a tough time finding death anyway, but no seeking it out.”

                I nodded, “No intention of it, and yes, you’re right. The only thing in the East Blue aside from poison and Sea Kings that could kill you or me is named Monkey D. Garp. That or drowning. I still can’t swim to save my life.”

                “You have a devil fruit?!” Yamato asked excitedly.

                I shook my head, “No, I just can’t swim. Too tense, don’t like not being able to feel the ground under my feet. If I can’t trust what I’m standing on with my weight I start to panic. It’s an instinct thing. Should be better once I get the hang of Geppo, but in the meantime…”

                “So, you’re afraid of heights too then?” Yamato mused.

                “Not so much heights as falling,” I declared, “You gotta understand, people are fragile as hell where I’m from. A fall of six feet can kill somebody if they land wrong.”

                Yamato took a second to register that and then threw back her head and laughed. She laughed for several minutes, the cackling starting fresh when she was able to look at me and my dead serious expression. It wasn’t until she got her breath back that she was able to reply, “Wow, you really got me there. I was not expecting that, and you said it with such a straight face! A fall of six feet if they land wrong,” she chuckled, “you’re really funny for someone who was so serious last night.”

                “I am also deadly serious right now,” I replied flatly, “Land on your head from six feet and your neck goes snap. It doesn’t take much. Some people have survived freefalls from as much as ten times that high without preparation or something to catch them, but they are very lucky, very rare and never uninjured by the landing. I wasn’t kidding when I said people where I’m from are horribly fragile, and extremely slow healers as well.”

                “No, really, you can stop n…” Yamato’s smile faded and she went almost as pale as her hair, “Oh my god, you’re actually serious.”

                “Indeed,” I replied dryly, my flat dead eyed gaze never leaving hers.

                She lasted almost a full minute before she started snickering again, “Wh-what’s that fa-a-ace? D-don’t look at me like tha-ha-hahahat!”

                I waited patiently for her giggles to subside and when they did, she straightened up, “But seriously, that is ridiculous. You really expect me to believe that your people are so fragile something like falling down the stairs can kill you?”

                I twitched, “Quite easily yes, and you might want to tread carefully around that particular cause of death when we meet Zoro, who is by the way tied for the title of the third strongest person in the East Blue that has not been in this boat over the last twenty four hours. His rival died that way, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got some lingering bad mojo over it. He certainly won’t take it being laughed at well.”

                Yamato blinked and then went pale, her eyes wide and smile suddenly becoming a very fragile thing, “Wait, what?”

                I smiled thinly, “You’re used to the New World right? You can’t fathom the difference in power level. Didn’t Ace tell you anything about his home sea?”

                Yamato blushed, “I, I knew he was stronger than normal, but… there’s no way the power gap’s that much is it? P-people can’t be that weak! Even Oden-sama never wrote about people that fragile!”

                I nodded, “I’m not sure Oden ever left the Grand Line either. So, time for a little crash course in geography. Welcome to the East Blue, the most peaceful and absolute laughably weakest sea in the world. The climate is warm and tropical for the most part, the weather is almost always calm. A big storm here is known as ‘a piddly drizzle’ in the Grand Line. Even the Sea Kings are tiny around here, well, tiny for Sea Kings anyway,” I added before continuing, “Devil Fruits are rare enough to be considered myths by the vast majority of the population, and running into anything other than a garden variety human is a rare enough event to be the stuff of tall tales for generations. It is a perfect spot for a peaceful, relaxing vacation.

                “The highest bounty currently in the East Blue,” I continued, “is twenty million, and even though the fishman holding it is probably more like a sixty or eighty million beri threat since he’s been bribing a local marine to keep his activities under wraps, he’s still regarded by most of the inhabitants of this sea in about the same way the residents of the New World would view Kaido.”

                Yamato was still for a moment while that sank in and then she sat forward, “You’re seriously telling me that Ace, Ace, came from a sea where the strongest guy around, a living juggernaut of apparent invincibility to everything that crosses him, is less than half a percent the strength of his equivalent in the New World?”

                I thought about it for a second, “Number one, very impressed you did that math so quick. I couldn’t have done it that fast. Number two, he might be a full percent due to the whole ‘bribing a marine to avoid attention’ thing. I wasn’t kidding when I said that the East Blue is laughably weak. People here think a seventeen million beri pirate, who thinks being worth seventeen million makes him hot shit, is strong enough to become Pirate King. The average bounty in the East Blue is three million beris, with ten million being considered impressive. Someone like you, or me now that I’ve got this new body, might as well be a god of war in this sea.

                “You get a few oddballs here and there like Gold Roger, Garp the Fist, Ace and Luffy,” I mused, “but it’s pretty fair to say that ALL the East Blue’s proverbial eggs are in those baskets, and keep in mind, they’d never, and I do mean NEVER, have gotten anything like what you would consider strong if they hadn’t headed into the Grand Line. You’ve heard of the frog in the well that can’t imagine the sea? Welcome to the well. Congratulations, you are now a Sea King in a pool of goldfish.”

                Saying Yamato was merely floored by the revelation would’ve been understating it. She didn’t talk again for what felt like almost five minutes. When she did finally speak again, it was to hollowly ask, “Cannon fodder is unstoppable here?”

                “You are going to learn a whole new meaning to the word ‘weak’ before we make it back to the Grand Line,” I replied solemnly. I let that hang in the air for a moment and then smiled, “You know the bright side to that?”

                Yamato made a little lost, sad and confused noise with a thousand mile stare that made me want to hug her.

                “That means that there is absolutely nobody here who can stop you from going, seeing and doing whatever the hell you want,” I declared with a smile, “And as long as we make our rendezvous with Luffy and Reiju and the others at Loguetown, I’m not particularly fussed about following you anywhere you want to go. So, ready for your first vacation?”

                It took a few moments for that to sink in, and then the color started to come back into her face. When she finally picked her head up, she gave me the most wonderful smile. It was like a child on Christmas morning the first time they’re old enough to understand the phrase ‘Santa brought presents.’

.

…

.

                Zoro woke up to the feel of a soft hand on his forehead that slid down to the side of his neck. His eyes popped open in surprise as he felt his shirt being lifted and another hand start checking around his torso.

                “Shhh…don’t talk, your throat’s too dry to whisper,” murmured the pink haired woman feeling him up. It was the middle of the night, but there was just enough light from the crescent moon overhead as Zoro’s eyes adjusted for him to tell she was beautiful.

                “You are badly dehydrated, hungry too I’d wager,” she murmured, “Your symptoms line up with the soldiers’ story so…” she mused before trailing off. She shook her head, “Alright, a few questions. Just nod or shake your head. You’re Roronoa Zoro, correct?”

                Zoro nodded.

                “You’ve been here for eight days?” Another nod.

                “You’re hanging here for the rest of the month?” Another nod.

                “All because you protected a little girl and her mother?” Two nods.

                “From Helmeppo’s giant cat?” Zoro blinked in confusion and shook his head. He glanced around and then mouthed, ‘dog’.

                The pink haired woman nodded, “Good.” She knelt down and Zoro’s eyes widened as he saw the little bag at her feet. She straightened up a moment later and held a small bottle up to his lips, “Drink.”

                Zoro drank, wincing as the liquid hit his stomach like a punch in the gut. The woman was quiet as she continued to feed him the rest of the bottle. When it was half gone, she asked quietly, “Do you think you can eat?”

                “Hell yes,” Zoro breathed back, “I’m hungry as hell.”

                The pink haired woman nodded and quickly pulled a small fruit out of the bag, “It’s not much,” she murmured, “but it should go down fairly easy.”

                “Thank you,” Zoro mumbled, “I promise I’ll find a way to make this up to you.”

                The woman paused and gave him a searching glance that made him wonder if he was missing something, and then she smiled faintly, “If that man’s predictions aren’t correct and you’re still hanging here tomorrow night, I’ll spring you myself.”

                “Why not now?”

                “Because,” the woman declared with a little heat entering her still very quiet voice, “I met the most infuriating man last night who saved me from a very bad situation, claimed to have spent a miracle on it, and that he did it simply out of the goodness of his heart before telling me what he claimed to be the future. I’m not someone anyone in their right mind would help out of the goodness of their heart, I don’t believe in miracles, and I don’t believe in people who claim to know the future, especially as far out as he claimed to.”

                “So he said I’d be freed tomorrow?” Zoro asked around the mouthful of tangerine she fed him.

                The woman nodded, “And that joining the young man who frees you would set you on a path to encounter Hawkeye Mihawk. He said something about it being your dream to surpass him and a once in a lifetime opportunity to face him without having to head to the Grand Line.”

                Zoro’s eyes went wide and he only narrowly managed to keep his jaw from dropping and spilling the fruit she’d given him. He swallowed, “A-are you serious?!”

                “Shh!” She hissed, “Keep your voice down! Yes I’m serious!” She glanced around to make sure she wasn’t about to be spotted, throwing a glance up at the tower to make sure nobody was at any of the windows, and then continued quietly, “I sent him away so that I could verify the truth of his words without him around to influence events. If his predictions come true, then I’ll believe him whole heartedly and thank him appropriately when I see him again, as well as apologizing for not believing him. If not, and I find out he was lying to me and kidnapped me for some nefarious purpose, I’ll kill him.”

                Zoro thought about that for a moment and then a vicious grin crossed his face, “If he’s trying to hurt you, I’ll help you kill him.”

                The woman blinked at him and then smiled, “My my, you do live up to the rumors. My name is Reiju, it’s nice to meet you.”

                Zoro smiled as she gave him another piece of fruit, “Pleasure’s all mine Reiju.”

                Before she could reply, the crunching of gravel heralded the arrival of one of the Marine patrols. Reiju disappeared between blinks and Zoro hurriedly swallowed the fruit in his mouth before feigning grogginess as the two Marines strolled into the yard chatting amiably amongst themselves.

                The two marines froze as they felt Zoro’s glare land on them. “I’d advise you two to go around,” Zoro snarled, “You’re disturbing my sleep. SCRAM, or I’ll pull this cross out of the ground and beat you with it.”

                The two marines swapped a glance and then did an about face and marched right back out of the yard.

                As soon as their footsteps faded, Reiju was back, grinning from ear to ear in the moonlight as she gently tickled his cheek, giggling, “Oh my, scary scary.” Zoro frowned at her over the teasing but she raised another piece of fruit to his mouth and declared, “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”

.

…

.

                When morning rolled around, Reiju had set up on a rooftop to stake out the wharf. She took a moment to review Bones’ predictions for the day as the sun came up.

…

I don’t know exactly what time of day he’ll arrive, but it will be nine days after Zoro’s imprisonment. The guy you’re looking for is wearing a simple straw hat with a red band. He is most likely wearing a red shirt, shorts and sandals. He has a scar under one eye, a big smile, and is visibly carefree as can be. He’ll be arriving on a small boat, about the same size as the one you and I were on. This is Monkey D. Luffy. He has devil fruit powers, the Gum-gum Fruit which turned him into a rubber man. He stretches and is completely immune to blunt attacks including bullets.

He should be accompanied by a small pudgy kid with glasses and pink hair in a white shirt who looks like he’d wet himself if a dog barked at him. The kid is named Coby.

Once they arrive, they’ll head straight for the Marine Base, and on the way they will mention both Zoro and Captain Morgan. Both names will elicit overly dramatic reactions of terror from everyone within earshot.

If these two do not arrive by day 12, then it is IMPERATIVE that you free Zoro before Helmeppo can renege on their deal and have him executed on day 12, although Luffy and Coby should arrive on day 9. Luffy is set to have an extremely close brush with drowning in a whirlpool between setting out and arriving at Shellstown. If he doesn’t make it in time, then we have to assume he drowned. If I don’t see the events I’m expecting in the papers, then I will head for upcoming locations to try to preserve as many lives as I can, and I will hope to see you and Zoro there. If things pan out as expected, then I’ll see you in Loguetown.

When Luffy and Coby reach the Marine base, they will hoist themselves up to try and spot Zoro. Once they do, the little girl that Zoro saved will arrive with a ladder and sneak into the yard. Luffy and Coby won’t stop her because they don’t know the danger. The little girl is there to feed Zoro rice balls she made with sugar rather than salt because she likes sweets.

Zoro will try to get her to get away before she’s caught and refuse to eat the rice balls even though he’s extremely hungry because he doesn’t want her to get in trouble. She won’t leave in time and Helmeppo (blonde, purple suit, gold chain, swaggering, you can tell at a glance he’s a worthless idiot) will arrive with two Marines who he’s forcing to be his bodyguards.

He will nonchalantly mock Zoro and take the rice balls out of the little girl’s hands. He will take one bite, spit them out and declare them terrible before throwing them down and stomping them. He will then order the marines to throw the little girl over the wall. The marine won’t want to but when threatened with Axe-Hand Morgan’s wrath will reluctantly comply. Luffy will catch her.

Once the little girl is safe and Helmeppo’s left, Luffy will go into the yard to speak to Zoro. Zoro will refuse to join Luffy’s crew, but ask Luffy to feed him the rice balls and tell the little girl that he ate every bite and they were delicious. If you go to Zoro and feed him earlier then he may not do this, but I think he would even if he wasn’t starving to spare the kid’s feelings.

After that, the little girl will lead Luffy and Coby elsewhere to explain the situation to them. As she’s explaining about the situation, Helmeppo will arrive and declare his intent to have Zoro executed by firing squad in 3 days (Day 12 of Zoro’s imprisonment). Luffy will be outraged and slug the hell out of Helmeppo before deciding that he definitely wants to recruit Zoro.

After this, Luffy will go to Zoro to negotiate his joining. Zoro will refuse unless you tell him beforehand that following Luffy will put him on a collision course with Hawkeye Mihawk. THAT will probably make him all for it, perhaps even on the first encounter with Luffy, although he’d join anyway even if he doesn’t know once Luffy saves his life.

On that note, Luffy will offer to get Zoro’s swords back from the Marines if Zoro will join his crew. Zoro will still refuse, but he’ll change his mind once he’s put in a ‘fight the Marines or die’ situation.

Luffy will use his abilities to catapult himself to the top of the tower, where Axe-Hand Morgan is forcing his men to erect a giant statue of him. Luffy will crash into it and send it hurtling to the ground, breaking it into a million pieces and driving Morgan into a rage. Morgan will come down to the yard with his men upon spotting Coby, who will at this point be trying to untie Zoro.

Morgan will order them shot, firing squad style. His men will comply, only for Luffy to drop out of the air and take the bullets, revealing his Devil Fruit powers in the process.

Morgan will order his men to use swords, Luffy will give Zoro his swords and Zoro will intercept all other blades present before agreeing to join Luffy’s crew on the condition of killing Luffy himself should Luffy interfere with his ambition. Luffy agrees and the two proceed to wreck all comers.

Helmeppo will attempt to take Coby hostage with a pistol once Luffy puts Morgan on the ground. (A very pitiful hostage taking mind you, he hasn’t even got the sense to grab Coby to keep him from moving out of the gun’s way or attacking him.)

Coby will tell Luffy to let him die if it means defeating those corrupt Marines. Luffy will say ‘You’re a good guy Coby’ and then throw a punch into Helmeppo from across the yard. As he is throwing his punch, Axe-Hand Morgan will get up and attempt to cut him down from behind. Zoro will carve up Morgan like a pork roast before he can do so.

Upon being asked if anyone else feels like trying their luck, the Marines will burst into cheers that Axe-Hand Morgan is finally down.

Afterwards, Luffy, Zoro and Coby will go to the little girl’s mother’s restaurant for a victory meal. The marines will arrive shortly after they finish eating, asking if they are pirates. Luffy will blatantly admit that they are, and they will be asked to leave town. Only asked mind you, the marines are very grateful for being rid of Axe-Hand Morgan, and they will show their gratitude by not reporting Luffy and Zoro’s involvement.

Coby will beg to join the marines, but the marines will be skeptical, wondering if he might be a spy. I think Luffy might slug him or something to prove they’re not comrades. Something happened, can’t recall what, but the marines accept Coby as Luffy and Zoro head for the dock.

As they’re pulling away from the shore, Coby will run down to the shore to thank them with a salute, which he will be surprised to see every other marine on the island joining him in.

If everything goes as I’ve written here, then a prime time to insert yourself with minimal repercussions/alterations to events would be after Axe-Hand Morgan is defeated. Perhaps go meet them while they’re at the restaurant?

This concludes my knowledge of the events at Shellstown.

…

                Reiju exhaled slowly and glanced up at the wharf for sign of any new boats which might or might not be carrying the straw hat wearing rubber man Bones had claimed could lead her to Sanji.

                He was clearly racking his brain yesterday, Reiju mused as she thought back to her careful observations of her savior/kidnapper. It had almost been amusing to watch him fret and strain his mind to recall as many details as he could over the two hours he had spent scribbling down notes with sheets of paper strewn all over the floor of the hotel room as he tried to get his timeline straight. It would’ve been far more amusing if she hadn’t been watching for any slip up in his acting, but if it was an act, then he had perfectly portrayed a man struggling to remember a story so he could transcribe it as best as possible.

                And he tried so hard to make this as legible as possible, Reiju thought as she compared the painstakingly neat script on the papers he had instructed her to use to verify his knowledge vs the near indecipherable chicken scratch on the pages he’d used to get his thoughts in order. He’d also left decent sketches of everyone mentioned.

                “Well,” she declared as she stretched out on the towel she’d brought up and spread close to the edge of the roof, “Nothing to do now but wait.”

.

…

.

                That afternoon, Zoro sat up a little straighter in surprise, “Oh hey Reiju.”

                Reiju smiled as she pulled out a chair and sat down, “Hello Zoro, and Luffy, and Coby.”

                “Hey Zoro, is this a friend of yours?” Luffy asked around a mouthful of food before looking at Reiju, “How do you know our names?”

                Reiju smiled slyly, “Well, aside from the fact that I’ve been following you and Coby since you arrived this morning, I also heard from an apparently reliable source that you’d be arriving and given a very accurate description.”

                “Really?” Luffy asked, still chewing, “Is that so? Who was it?”

                “Oh a tall fellow, blonde hair, very strong,” Reiju replied, “Maybe you know him? Goes by the name of Bones?”

Zoro and Coby noted the immediate sharpness of her gaze, but Luffy just kept chewing, “Bones huh?”

                “Bones?” Coby asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice.

                “Never heard of him,” Luffy replied, “How’d he know we were coming?”

                “He claims to know the future,” Reiju declared after deciding that Luffy and Coby weren’t going to give anything away at the mention of Bones’ name, if they were hiding something to begin with. Bones’ assessment of Luffy as completely guileless and a bit of a moron had seemed quite accurate thus far.

                Luffy went still, then frowned and asked very seriously, “What did he tell you?”

                Reiju sat forward, now immensely intrigued while Zoro and Coby sat back, now immensely worried. “He told me that Monkey D. Luffy could help me find my brother.”

                Luffy blinked and the air of tension disappeared instantly, “Oh is that all? You just need a ride and help finding your brother?”

                Reiju blinked at the sudden dissipation of tension and then sat back, forcing a small smile, “Yes. My brother and I were separated several years ago, and I’d very much like to find him. It’s my understanding that he’s one of the finest chefs in the East Blue, and a terribly fearsome fighter as well. Bones seemed to think you’d want my brother to join your crew, in which case I’d like to join you as well.”

                Luffy’s eyes shot up and he immediately swallowed to give Reiju a large excited smile, “You want to join my crew?!”

                Reiju nodded, “At least until we find my brother, and if he joins your crew then I’ll stick with you too. I’m a skilled assassin, marksman, and hand to hand combatant trained with over a dozen melee weapons, as well as being more than proficient enough a navigator for the Four Blues and I have a degree of medical training, on top of my other abilities. You’ll find me to be quite a valuable asset.”

                Luffy grinned, “Well that’s great! Welcome aboard! Um, what did you say your name was again?”

                “Reiju, Reiju Vinsmoke,” the runaway princess replied, her gaze immediately sharpening ever so subtly for any sign of a flinch or recognition. There were none, so her gaze softened back immediately, “But I’d like to be just Reiju, my family name wouldn’t make me any friends.”

                Then Coby started stuttering, “V-v-vinsmoke?! Y-y-you mean like the Germa Double Six?!”

                Reiju turned a casual, almost pitying smile on the quaking boy across from her that belied her immediate wariness, “Oh? You know me?”

                Coby’s eyes went wide, then wider, then so wide their edges were visible around the rims of his glasses as he turned ghostly pale, “Oh god…it’s Poison Pink…”

                The poor boy now had Reiju’s full attention and she sat forward, crossing her fingers under her chin and giving Coby a smile that many only saw immediately prior to a painful demise, “Oho, you know exactly who I am.”

                “Y-y-y-you can’t be Poison Pink! She’s just a made up character from that comic strip!”

                Reiju blinked in surprise. As absurd as it seemed, Coby honestly believed that.

                Reiju sat back, allowing the subtle menace to fade from her expression, “I assure you Coby, I am very real.”

                “B-b-but, then that means…” Coby stammered.

                Reiju nodded, “The Germa Double Six is real as well, as are my brothers and father. Aside from interactions with a Marine named Sora, I’ve never seen any of my exploits or abilities falsely reported.”

                “But, but if you’re really Poison Pink,” Coby asked, sweat fairly pouring off him now, “Then what are you doing in the East Blue?!”

                Reiju snorted lightly, “A fair question, and one I’d like answered myself. The man who told me about you three somehow managed to transport me from the other side of the world to a boat a little ways offshore from this island without waking me up. When I asked him how and why, he claimed he was just trying to do something nice for me because he thought I’d had a frankly terrible life. I shot him when he admitted he was trying to help me find my little brother.”

                “Y-y-you shot him?!” Coby asked in horror.

                “Oh relax,” Reiju replied dismissively, “It bounced off him. A point blank shot to the back of the head and it didn’t even scratch him. It was about like shooting Luffy, except the bullet didn’t fly back in my face. We then had a stand off for the rest of the night while he rowed us here. He was very excited about the prospect of meeting you,” she added with a glance at Luffy.

                “He was?” Luffy asked curiously, “So, where is he?”

                Reiju grimaced, “Apparently earning my trust meant more to him. I asked him to leave so that I could make sure he was telling me the truth. He left me these notes about your journey,” Reiju lifted a bundle of papers out of her bag and waved them before sticking them back in the bag, “Detailing the crew members you’ll find, the enemies you’ll face and a few other surprises. He mentioned you wouldn’t want me telling you about any of it,” Reiju added.

                Luffy nodded, “Of course not! If you tell me what’s going to happen then it won’t be as much fun!”

                Reiju smiled thinly, a little pang of doubt shooting through her, “Yes, he said you’d say something like that.”

                “Speaking of,” Zoro mused, “How did today go? Everything play out like he said?”

                Reiju nodded solemnly, “To the letter.”

                Then the door opened and in walked a Marine, swiftly followed by several more, “Excuse me…you gentlemen are pirates correct?” The hair on the back of Reiju’s neck stood on end as she realized there were a lot of people outside.

                “Yep!” Luffy replied excitedly, “I’ve even got two crewmates now! That makes me an official pirate captain!”

                The marine shifted his hat uncomfortably, “Um, you saved our base, and this town. For that we are truly grateful, however, we are still Marines. We can’t shelter pirates.” He exhaled, “I’m afraid I have to ask you to leave. Out of gratitude though, we will not report you the Navy.”

                Reiju narrowly suppressed the urge to jump as the crowd outside erupted with outrage. Then Luffy and Zoro calmly stood, “Alright. Guess we’ll be leaving then.” He bowed to the woman who owned the restaurant, “Thank you for the meal.”

                Then he, Zoro and a quickly following Reiju headed for the door, Reiju silently wondering if she had just seen the first mistake in Bones’ predictions. Then the Marine spoke, “Hey, aren’t you with them?”

                Luffy and Reiju paused in the door, Zoro already outside, but all three turned to watch Coby as the poor boy forced out, “I...I’m…I’m not with them.”

                The marine turned to the three in the door, “Excuse me, pirates?”

                A very nasty chill slid down Reiju’s spine as she saw a grin spread across Luffy’s face, the same kind of grin her brothers wore when they were about to do something abnormally cruel. Reiju stepped out from between Luffy and Coby, wondering in a sort of horrified daze if her best hope for finding Sanji was about to turn out to be just as bad as being stuck with Germa still.

                Then the look vanished and Luffy pointed at Coby, “Oh yeah, I know all about his past.” Reiju noticed Coby’s eyes go wide in horror as Luffy continued, “You see there was this big fat pirate lady named Alvida. She kinda looked like a duck,” he mimed the waddle of an extremely overweight woman as he went over to poke Coby’s cheek with a grin, “She swung around a big iron mace, and for two whole years this guy…”

                “SHUT UP!” Coby suddenly screamed, his fist slamming into Luffy’s jaw with every ounce of strength the pudgy boy could muster. Reiju’s eyes widened and the entire room froze for a moment. Then that awful look returned and Luffy retaliated, blows flying so fast that Reiju doubted anyone but her and Zoro could see more than a blur as they both quickly crossed the room to haul Luffy back.

                “That’s enough!” Reiju snapped angrily.

                “I AGREE!” shouted the marine in charge, “STOP DISTURBING THE PEACE! IT’S CLEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS! PLEASE LEAVE TOWN AT ONCE!”

                Reiju’s anger evaporated as the marine’s words registered. Coby’s eyes went wide and she all but heard it click with him as well behind the bloody nose and missing tooth. He was trying to clear Coby’s name of association with pirates?!

                Luffy turned and left the restaurant without another word, Zoro and a stunned Reiju falling in step behind him. While Zoro playfully taunted the Marines outside, Reiju glanced back through the window and saw Coby jump back to his feet and beg to enlist in the Marines. Reiju’s blood ran cool, Just like Bones said…Luffy slugs him then he joins the Marines!

                She followed Luffy and Zoro to the docks, But there’s no way an entire garrison of Marines, even Marines who had just been saved from a tyrant, would salute pirates…

                Ten minutes later, she stared in shock as the Marines of Shellstown proceeded to do exactly that.

                She immediately dove for her bag and the notes within, Either this really is the biggest conspiracy I’ve ever even heard of, with the most impossibly skilled actors, or he was telling the truth!

.

…

.

                “Bones! Bones! I see an island!” Yamato exclaimed excitedly as she peered through the spyglass.

                Bones tugged the map from inside his jacket and did some quick figuring before approximating their location, “Park Island. Well, sounds pleasant enough.” He rolled the map back up and stuffed if back into his interior pocket, “Guessin’ you wanna check it out?”

                “Of course!” Yamato exclaimed, “What’s a park?! Is it like a shark?! Ooh! Ooh! Is it like a polar shark?! Oh! No! A piranha shark!”

                Bones blinked in confusion, “You don’t know what a park is?”

                Yamato blushed slightly, “Um…”

                “It’s like a garden,” Bones explained, not willing to let her stew in embarrassment for one second longer than she had to, “A park is a big, nice, public garden. So, if that’s ‘Park Island’, then it’s probably a nice peaceful island with lots of pretty plants and a laid back atmosphere that’s perfect for taking afternoon naps.” He yawned, “Speaking of, a nap sounds like a fabulous idea, so when we get there, if it lives up to the name, I am all for finding a nice soft spot to curl up and doze for a bit.”

                “Whaaat?!” Yamato groaned, “But it’s a new island! New! ISLAND! How can you not be excited about that?!”

                “I am excited,” Bones replied with a smile, “I love seeing new places, and I love relaxing. Park Island sounds like a perfect combination of both. We’re not in a big hurry, so if we want to take our time and explore at a leisurely pace, we can do that as much as we like! Alternatively, if it’s boring or a total shithole, we can book it out of there immediately!”

                “Don’t worry Yama-chan,” he soothed, “I ain’t gonna impede your fun.”

                “It’s Yamato,” Yamato pouted.

                Bones blinked, “Does Wano not have honorifics?”

                “It does,” Yamato pouted, “But ‘chan’ is for girls isn’t it? I’m Oden, and Oden’s a man.”

                “A man’s man to be sure,” Bones agreed smoothly, “and also someone who didn’t like being admired even though he always was.”

                Yamato blinked as though slapped, “What?”

                “That’s not to say it’s wrong to do so, hell everyone who knew him’s wrong if it is, and proud of it too,” Bones mused, “But he’d probably tell you to be you rather than him. After all, you don’t have to be somebody in order to carry on their will.”

                He gave another heave of the oars, “Ahhh what do I know? It hardly matters to me whether you’re a boy or a girl or a spotted pink yak. You’re my friend. That’s what’s important, so you do you Yamato-chan. Ah,” he grimaced, “too many syllables. Are you sure I can’t call ya Yama-chan? It rolls off the tongue really well.”

                “Wha…why not call me Yamato?!”

                “Because,” Bones replied dryly, “I give my friends nicknames as a sign of affection. Might be a reference to a running joke, might be something about a physical attribute or maybe just some quirk of theirs, if they’ve got a respectable position or title I might refer to ‘em by that, but anyone who I consider a friend and comrade gets a nickname of some sort. You’re very attached to the culture of Wano, so tackin’ an affectionate Wano honorific onto the end of your name seems appropriate, buuut if ya’d rather I go with something else…I suppose I’ll come up with something sooner or later.”

                “But, doesn’t that mean mountain-chan?” Yamato asked quietly.

                “You’re tall, strong, sturdy, white on top, and quite frankly very beautiful,” Bones replied simply, “Besides, I like mountains.”

                Yamato blushed slightly, but didn’t protest the nickname any further after that.

Chapter 3: Chapter 2

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

                The pub was easily the largest on the island, two stories high with a wide balcony circling three sides of the main floor. The windows on the bottom floor were narrow and lined with iron bars, and the top windows, while considerably wider, were also lined with broken bottles glued to the sill with thick wooden bars on the shutters. The owner had long since given up on repairing the railings of the balcony, so there was now just an open drop to the floor ten feet below, which drunken pirates and thugs were regularly pushed or often as not thrown over. There was a considerable clear space under that ledge as a result.

                The wooden floor was dirty, covered in splinters, spilled booze and blood stains. The high ceiling was shrouded in foul smelling smoke and the air filled with raucous chatter and the stench of booze. The entire place was lit by lanterns in brackets on the columns holding the place up. There had been a chandelier once upon a time, but that had come down when an enterprising pirate had attempted to swing from it, learning the hard way that it wasn’t that well secured.

                The waitstaff were mostly young women. None were particularly ugly, but none were particularly lovely either. This was a pirate port. Lovely young women could make easier money in other ways in a pirate port, and most found ways out, getting passage to safer ports by any means necessary rather than stick around. This hardly stopped the bar’s patrons from flirting, but they never dared provoke the girls too much for fear of what stood ever vigilant at the front wall behind the bar.

                The front wall was stacked high with casks of booze, and the bar in front of those casks was tended by an utterly massive man half as broad as he was tall with arms as thick as a smaller man’s torso. His eyes were nearly hidden behind his bushy eyebrows, and his mouth, ever twisted in a small frown was equally hidden behind his droopy mustache. Even the bar’s rowdiest patrons, a notorious pirate crew who made a favorite stop of the port the bar was in, wouldn’t cross the man they affectionately referred to as ‘Big Time’. Soft spoken did not mean weak, nor did polite. They’d learned that several years previously when they saw him bodily hurl from his bar a pair of mountain bandits who looked like they had giant blood in them somewhere, both beaten to bloody pulp by the man’s crate sized fists and ejected with one hand each.

                When the tall man and his little lady friend walked in, Big Time’s eyebrow had raised high enough that the few who were looking caught their first glimpse of his eye. She was beautiful, easily the loveliest young woman most of the bar’s patrons had ever seen, and the sunny confidence she held herself and smiled with would’ve roused the passion of any man she wanted. None of the bar’s waitresses could even hope to compete with her. Many of the bar’s patrons had immediately begun thinking unsavory thoughts, and knives were quietly palmed as envious glares landed on her escort.

                The first man to get a hand within arm’s reach of either of them was hurled into the top of the back wall with such force that he actually stuck there for a moment before peeling off like a wet piece of tape. He fell to the floor headfirst and landed with a sickening crunch.

                No more knives were palmed, no more glares landed.

                Everyone in the bar returned to their conversations in slightly more hushed tones, many pale with beads of sweat running down the back of their necks as they wondered if the pair had noticed them. None wanted to risk the wrath that had so effortlessly dispatched a man who while not the biggest or even second or third biggest man in the bar, had been by no means small. Everyone made a point to look anywhere except at the tall man and his lady friend as they made their way to a lantern lit table in the back corner under the balcony. All except for one man with white hair and bad teeth who sat at the bar, he continued to shoot thoughtful looks over his shoulder in their direction.

                Big Time took their order personally, and took them their drinks. The bar’s atmosphere steadily returned to normal as the distraction of the tall man and young beauty was steadily drowned in booze. Within the hour, the two had all but vanished from conscious thought and it was as though they’d never been there at all.

                Then two more guests walked in, and like a swift high tide, fear shot through the room anew. Once again, it was a man and a woman. Both were tall, taller than the tall man who had come in earlier, and the woman carried a massive iron club with an ease that said she could use it effortlessly. The man was shorter than his companion and carried nothing except for a casual air of confidence. The man was more frightening.

                The two ordered drinks and then carried them back to the corner where the tall man and his lady friend had gotten comfortable.

                A few moments later, a card game was underway as people began to hurriedly and quietly pay, slipping out the door and praying they hadn’t drawn the strangers’ notice.

                “So, what’s got a pair of monsters like you hanging around in the East Blue?” the tall man asked warily as he dealt the cards.

                “Hah, I was about to ask you the same thing,” the taller man replied with a smirk, “Although really, yours is… considerably more obvious than mine, even if the specifics are a bit fuzzy.”

                “That’s not disturbing at all,” the shorter woman replied, taking a sip with one hand while looking at her cards with her left, “So, are you going to answer the question?”

                “You would hardly believe him even if he told you,” the taller woman mused as she checked her hand while the shorter man set the deck in the center of the table.

                “And why’s that?” The tall man asked.

                “Because you thought you knew who I was the instant I walked in,” The taller man replied dryly as the shorter woman pulled a card from the deck before tossing the four of hearts next to it, a slight furrowing of her brow revealing that it hadn’t been a good pull.

                “What makes you think that?” she asked as he drew and then tossed the five of hearts.

                “Very simple,” the taller man replied as the taller woman drew and then threw back the two of hearts, “You both tensed the instant we walked in, and neither of you have relaxed yet.”

                “That’s not saying much,” the tall man replied as he pulled a card and then threw the seven of clubs into the center of the table, “Everyone left in this bar is scared stiff. Men have been slinking out the door steadily since you walked in.”

                “I believe I win,” the shorter woman declared as she drew the Jack of spades, setting down the king and ace she’d been holding the entire time, “And besides, you came straight to us without even glancing at anyone else. I believe it’s my deal.”

                The cards were collected and she began to shuffle as the taller man smiled thinly, “But of course, you two are the strongest people on this island, aside from us of course, and even then, you,” he inclined his head to the tall man, “I would not take lightly.”

                “Are you trying to piss me off?” the shorter woman asked sharply as she flicked the taller man’s first card right at his head.

                The taller man caught it effortlessly and glanced at it before snagging the second out of the air as it whirled towards his throat, “Not at all. I am simply more confident in my partner’s strength than yours.” He caught his third card and glanced at it, “As for myself, I am rather difficult to hit. Not a good opponent at all for a close quarters specialist.” He threw the two of hearts back and drew.

                “Don’t mind him,” the taller woman soothed as she drew and then threw the three of clubs out, “He’s got a talent for pissing people off, especially redheads he’s attracted to.”

                “Excuse me?” the tall man asked coldly, drawing and tossing back the Jack of diamonds after a moment’s consideration, only for it to be immediately snatched up by the shorter woman in exchange for the seven of clubs.

                “Yes, do tell,” the taller man drawled as he shot a slight glare at his partner, drawing and tossing back the eight of clubs.

                “She’s the same size, build and eye color as the last redhead you pissed off,” she shot back with a grin before tossing the eight of diamonds, “Are you going to try to tell me you wouldn’t go for her?”

                “Hmph,” the taller man snorted with a small smile, “You’ve got me there, although I think she’s a little bit shorter. Just makes her cuter as far as I’m concerned. You are indeed very much my type Miss.”

                “Keep your eyes to yourself,” the tall man all but growled as he drew before tossing the four of clubs.

                “Do I sense a possessive streak?” the taller man asked with a small smirk as the shorter woman shot her partner a look.

                “Focus you two,” she snapped as she drew and threw out the four of spades, “You still haven’t told us what you want.”

                The taller man chuckled, “All I want is to talk.” He drew and then tossed the Ace of clubs which was immediately snatched up by his partner in favor of the six of clubs, “I have a bit of information you might appreciate.”

                “What kind of information?” the tall man asked warily as he drew and then tossed the three of diamonds.

                “Personal,” the taller man smiled thinly, “I have quite a bit of other information, but the tidbit I came to share with you is of no use to anyone but you. No charge, no tricks. Just bein’ a good Samaritan.”

                “And how exactly would we go about verifying this information? For all we know it could be a trap,” the shorter woman declared as she tossed the five of spades.

                “There really is no good way, but there is also no reason for me to lie about it either,” the taller man replied as he drew and tossed back the ten of diamonds.

                “Don’t know why you’re trying to get them to trust you with that,” his partner mused as she drew and then threw back the seven of spades, noting the slightly pained expression on the shorter man’s face, “It didn’t work last time.”

                “Quite frankly I don’t care if they trust me,” the taller man declared shortly, “It’s not exactly actionable intelligence, it’s just plain history. It’s hardly like Dadan and Makino are going to do anything but break down in tears when they see him.”

                The tall man froze in the middle of lifting his next card, “What did you just say?”

                “Your adoptive mother Curly Dadan and big sister Makino,” Bones replied calmly, a small smile growing as he saw the other man’s eyes widen in recognition, “They, your uncles and your brothers are all under the impression that you’re dead. Have been for, what, ten years now? Dragon didn’t know you were his son’s adoptive brother when he found you, of course he’d have to actually talk to Luffy every once in a while to know about that.”

                Yamato glanced at Bones as the other man grew pale and looked like he was about to be sick, “He’s Luffy’s brother? Seriously?”

                “And Ace’s,” Bones replied simply, “He was born the son of a noble, but the nobility of Goa Kingdom are utterly contemptible scum, so he ran away. He made friends with Ace first, then Luffy after Luffy nearly died keeping the location of his and Ace’s pirate fund secret while they moved the stash. The three were inseparable until Sabo’s blood father hired the pirate they had robbed to drag him back to Hightown. Sabo was only able to escape on the day a World Noble was arriving, and on his way out, he drew the Noble’s eye. You can imagine how well that went from the scars and amnesia resultant of getting a freakin’ bazooka shot at him,” he finished dryly, not at all oblivious to the look of horror on Yamato and Koala’s faces, nor the utterly sick look on Sabo.

                “Memories starting to come back yet?” he asked in a chipper tone, “Judging by the expression I’d say, oh look he fainted!” His eyes cut over to Koala, “You two have lodgings around here or…?”

                Koala immediately moved to pick up Sabo and gave Bones a death glare, “I don’t know who you are or what you want, but if this is some kind of trick…”

                “If I were a government agent, I’d have killed you the instant I walked in and dealt with him while he was losing his mind with rage,” Bones replied flatly, “And nobody else with even a shred of decency would try to hurt the Revolutionary Army’s cause. When he wakes up, go with him to Foosha Village on Dawn Island, specifically Party’s Bar, and then up to Mt. Colubo. Let his family know he’s alive. They’ll be overjoyed even if they don’t have any way to contact his brothers. As for those two, if everything goes the way I’ve seen it, Ace and Luffy should both be at the port of Nanohana in Alabasta a few weeks after Drum Kingdom comes under attack by the pirate known as Blackbeard. They’ll be at the restaurant called the Spice Bean, but they’ll have an encounter with a rather formidable Marine by name of Captain Smoker while they’re there, so it’ll be quite a hectic little time. Promises to be loads of fun for any bystanders.”

                “What are you, some kind of oracle?” Koala spat as she hefted Sabo over her shoulder and straightened up.

                “Yes actually,” Bones replied with a small smile, “You may have heard of Fishman Island’s famous fortune teller Madame Shyarly? What I do is a little bit different, but what I’ve seen is hopefully no less valid. By the way, a little something for your peace of mind Miss Koala,” he added with his smile that quickly turned into a very serious and forlorn look, “Stay away from the Conomi Islands for a while. You won’t like what’s going on there.”

                Koala froze, her eyes going wide. Then a moment later she hissed, “What the hell did Arlong do?”

                “Doing,” Bones corrected, “And with any luck, a solution’s already on the way in the form of Sabo’s little brother, but if you want to go bash in a corrupt Marine’s teeth, Captain Nezumi’s been taking bribes to keep Arlong’s activities secret. I know your blood’s probably boiling at the mere thought of it, but please, wait until after he turns Gosa upside down.”

                Koala’s eyes went wide with horror, “EX-FUCKIN’-CUSE ME?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I WAIT?!”

                Bones shrugged, “Well for one, if you do, then you’ll have back up a few days after. For another, said back up is Sabo’s little brother Luffy and his crew, who are going to one and all be every bit as royally pissed as you are. For a third,” he locked eyes with her, “are you completely sure you could handle Arlong and his entire crew? Because even the sharpest blade is dulled when pointed at a friend, and they are so not the fishmen you knew anymore.”

                All the color drained out of Koala’s face and her breath was ragged with rage, “If you know so much, then why aren’t you doing anything about it?!”

                “I am,” Bones replied dryly, “I just told the best representation in the world of Fisher Tiger’s dream for equality what his former subordinates have been getting up to, and with even a shred of luck sent the strongest pirate crew in the East Blue to handle them. If my luck is complete and utter shit and my predictions are wrong, which I should have confirmation of in a matter of days at most, then I’m going to deal with it myself. Trust me, if I have to get involved personally, it’s gonna be a hell of a lot bloodier. I’m trying to preserve the maximum number of lives possible, not the minimum.”

                Koala glared at Bones for what seemed like a long time, looking quite ready to scream at him. Then she snapped, “ASS.” Before turning and heading for the door with Sabo as she called over her shoulder, “If this is some kind of trick, you had better pray I never see you again!”

                “When you find out I’m right, I hope your pain is mild and short lived and swiftly followed by something happy enough to make up for it!” Bones shot back.

                Koala actually stopped for a second as that sank in, then she shook her head and resumed dragging Sabo out the door.

                When they were gone Yamato looked at Bones, “Sooo…is it normal for people to want to kill you after talking to you?”

                “Apparently knowing things one shouldn’t is not generally well received,” Bones replied dryly as he collected the cards and shuffled them back into the deck with a shrug, “Or maybe it’s just redheads.”

                “Redheads you’re attracted to,” Yamato corrected with a teasing grin.

                “Yes, perhaps even that specific,” Bones replied, carefully schooling his face to keep from encouraging any further teasing about it.

                Just then the door was flung open and over a dozen men swaggered in. The man leading them was the biggest by far, standing easily head and shoulders taller than the majority of his comrades. He was heavy set, carrying a large axe over his shoulder and his face was a picture of brash, brutish confidence behind his wild red mustache and beard. He and all his men looked filthy, their clothes unwashed and ragged with their hair long and unkempt. Flies followed them persistently and the sheer stench that accompanied them had Yamato’s nose curling in disgust from across the room as she and Bones turned to look at the new arrivals.

                “I HEAR THERE’S SOME HOT SHOT GOVERNMENT AGENT IN HERE THAT WANTS A PIECE OF ‘BIG AXE’ MAX!” the leader shouted, “SO WHERE IS THAT GOVERNMENT DOG?!”

                Bones just sighed and started shuffling his cards, Maybe I SHOULD get rid of the suit…this is going to get old in a hurry.

                Everyone left in the pub, which at this point was just the wait staff, Big Time, Yamato, Bones and the old man at the bar, just stared at him for a second. The old man at the bar had a very clear look of Are you trying to die? How stupid can you be?!

                Then one of the waitresses shot a glance at the corner where Bones and Yamato were sitting. With both of them wearing clean white clothes, and Yamato’s hair being mostly white as well, they were easy to spot, almost like a beacon even in the dim lamp light.

                ‘Big Axe Max’ took no notice of the old man, a savage grin spreading across his face as he spotted Bones and Yamato. He swaggered back to stand over Bones and leered, “SO, I bet that’s you isn’t it?!” His men stood behind him, spreading out slightly to form a wall and block off any escape as they grinned in fierce anticipation of watching their boss take out a government agent who’d sent an entire bar’s worth of pirates packing.

                “With a name like that, I’m sure you have a bounty,” Bones mused, not even bothering to look up from his shuffling, “I’m sure you’d love to boast about it, so why don’t you go ahead and get it out of your system?”

                Big Axe Max laughed, “You’re damn right I do!” He whipped out a wadded up bounty poster from the hem of his pants that was so stained with filth and sweat and who knew what else that it was almost illegible, “Six million beris! I bet that’s got you shakin’ in your boots, huh?!”

                Yamato couldn’t help it. Out slipped a snort of laughter and she had to quickly cover the massive grin. Big Axe Max’s expression turned thunderous, “OH YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY DO YOU?!”

                Yamato stifled her laughter and then turned a small smile up at him, “Oh no, nooo…pfffft YES.” Big Axe Max suddenly doubled over as his knee erupted in white hot pain. Then he toppled over with a look of shock on his face and a massive hole in his throat. Those watching extremely closely might’ve seen a white blur in the instant between Yamato declaring that she found his bounty amusing and him keeling over.

                “Yon Shigan Yari,” Bones declared in a bored tone as he tossed something at the rest of the mountain bandits who now realized that at some point he’d stood up and was actually as big as Big Axe Max had been. Then it registered with them what he had just thrown at them and they all lurched back in horror from Big Axe Max’s heart, now almost six feet from the one legged corpse that had only thirty seconds earlier been Big Axe Max.

                Then suddenly Bones was gone, and Big Time, the old man at the bar, and the wait staff all did doubletakes as he suddenly appeared at the bar, leaning on it casually like he’d been there all day, “Hey have ya got any salmon? My friend likes salmon.”

                “Um…” Big Time floundered for a moment and then jumped slightly as the remaining bandits collapsed, their heads rolling away with their final looks of terror still etched across their faces. Big Time’s eyes showed themselves for the second time that day and then he turned back to Bones, “I’m very sorry sir, there are no salmon on this island. May I interest you in some swordfish? I got a fine one this morning at the wharf!”

                “I’m sure that will do quite nicely,” Bones replied pleasantly, “I’ve always wanted to try swordfish. Ah, how much do I owe you for that?”

                “Oh, um, no charge for you sir,” Big Time declared nervously, “Ah, I’ll get it cooking right away.” He shot a glance to one of the waitstaff who immediately turned and nearly bolted for the door to the kitchen recessed in the back wall.

                Bones smiled, “There’s no need for that, seriously, I’m quite willing to pay, after all…” He jerked a blood stained thumb over his shoulder, “I’ve just made a nice little bit of money over there.”

                “Ah…yes,” Big Time replied cautiously, “Very impressive sir. Erm, if it’s not too much trouble, may I ask…um…what just happened?”

                Bones just smiled and waved his concern off with a disturbingly red hand, “Oh it’s no big thing, in the Grand Line there are plenty of people who can move and punch as fast and hard as a bullet, lots of them even harder. I’m just lucky enough to be one of them! Straight handed jab is the same as a harpoon when you can hit like that. Punch might as well be a miniature cannonball.”

                Big Time, the old man and the waitstaff who heard Bones’ answer went very pale. “Ah, aha, you uh, you don’t say!” Big Time laughed nervously, “That’s ah…very impressive! As fast as a bullet you say?!”

                “Some are faster,” Bones replied, his smile unwavering, “but snatching bullets out of the air is just showing off. Total waste of time and movement you could be using to deal with the pest shooting at you. By the way have ya got anywhere I can wash this off? I don’t trust those fleabags to have clean blood, and I don’t really care to find out what they taste like when my lunch is ready.”

                Big Time directed Bones to the washroom and when he looked back at the bar, the old man had skedaddled, leaving enough money on the bar to cover his drinks and then some in his hurry to get away before Bones recognized him and decided to collect on his bounty too.

.

…

.

                That night, under the sliver of a moon overhead, a scrawny man stood on a big man’s shoulders in a room on the bottom floor of an inn, which while rundown, shoddily built with rot creeping into too many of its too few timber supports and possessing the thinnest of white plaster walls, was still the best inn in the port. It was two stories tall with a single gated entrance allowing access to the courtyard, and from there the two story ring of rooms which could be rented from the slim, greasy proprietor of the inn who always had a shotgun under his desk and a knife that he was impressively quick with in his pocket.

                The scrawny man listened intently with a makeshift megaphone pressed between his ear and the ceiling. As he listened, he silently pointed to a spot on the ceiling, moving his finger slowly as it followed the movements of their target while his crewmates watched carefully, two ready to ignite the fire under the cauldron of chemicals they’d positioned in the middle of the room, and a third at the door watching for the signal. The door was open to let the light spill out into the inn’s courtyard as a signal to the others. When the lights went out, they’d know to move.

                Across the street atop another building was a second set of men under a blanket, one with a rifle and the best marksmanship on the crew, the other with binoculars as he poked the top half of his head up over the roof’s low parapet. In the rooms to either side of the targeted room were two more sets of men, these wearing gas masks, each with their own megaphone listening through the thin walls, weapons at the ready and a quiet caged canary each. At the corners of the building were two more groups, each carrying a ladder and numerous weapons. On the roof stood their leader, a large and fearsome man with a long and infamous history armed with a saber, multiple flintlocks in his belt and ten years of bitter hatred and spite now curdled into a murderous vendetta.

                The crew was thirty two men strong counting their captain, and while all except him thought his extreme caution was ridiculously overkill, they also had to admit his ingenuity was impressive. Even if it wasn’t, the one man who’d been killed on the spot for protesting the extreme caution would’ve convinced them since they all knew their captain was easily as strong as any ten normal men, even ten normal men his size. They didn’t know what the man they were after had done to him, or what had their captain so wary that he’d set up such a thorough plan to capture him, but they’d spent the entire afternoon preparing for this attack.

                The captain had given less thought to taking down entire Marine bases, but he had also made it extremely clear that the man was to be taken alive and suffer.

                As the footsteps trailed over to the bed, the faint rustle of sheets could be heard by those with megaphones, who quickly gave thumbs ups to their comrades. The two upstairs raised their hands with fingers splayed as the men with them readied weapons and aimed at the walls. The four biggest men on the upper floor lifted the weapons their captain had specifically ordered for this and headed out the door quietly. The massive anchors were slowly and silently lowered to the ground, the long chains still having easily enough length to reach the outer wall and tied into nooses. If the target tried to escape through either wall or out the front balcony, they’d find themselves riddled with bullets and dogpiled immediately. If the target were still for even a moment, the chains would be employed to bind them and give the others an opening to attack.

                On the bottom floor, the cauldron was lit, and odorless translucent fumes filled the room, quickly wafting up through the ceiling to the room above. The crewmen were unaffected, the boss’s gas masks had been stolen especially for moments like this. None of them knew exactly what had caused their captain to become so obsessed with proper planning, but they all knew that his plans had never failed them, even in situations where they’d thought success impossible. His bounty hadn’t risen in ten years, but it was still the fifth highest the East Blue had seen in that time, the fourth since his rival Kuro of a Thousand Plans had snuffed it.

                At the signal as the canaries dropped from their perches, the burly men broke down the target’s door, taking out a fair portion of the flimsy walls with it. Neither were expecting any resistance, but the captain had warned them there might be some. Neither were expecting the larger of the two to be crumpled like a sheet of paper by a punch with enough force to fling him back out the door and across the inn’s courtyard. The other men immediately charged in, more afraid of their captain’s wrath than the target’s strength and confident in his plan.

                The target’s companion, the one the captain had said would be the crew’s reward for a job well done, was on them in an instant. Bodies flew and bones cracked as the beautiful young woman took them apart, completely unaffected by the gas that had been supposed to knock her out or at least render her docile. The swords that were supposed to keep her at a distance only gave her openings when swung, openings that rock hard fists flew into like cannonballs. The numbers that were supposed to overwhelm her became shield and club as she hurled men twice her size like feather pillows.

                In less than two minutes, she utterly dismantled over a dozen armed men. The steel jaws of the trap had slid closed like a well-oiled machine, but she was still kicking the teeth out of them. Every bit of the Captain’s paranoia had been merited, and seeds of doubt were starting to flow through the crew’s minds as they realized that they couldn’t even touch her let alone hurt her, that maybe it hadn’t been enough. This one girl was putting up as much of a fight unarmed as an entire shipload of Marines!

                Even before she started fighting, Koala’s limbs were starting to get heavy and her lungs were starting to burn. For all her training to fight underwater, the simple fact was that she’d been holding her breath for nearly ten minutes and spent the last two of those minutes fighting. It was a herculean effort, and not that one anyone who hadn’t trained to fight as a fishman in all but blood would’ve been able to pull off. She knew she had to end it quickly, if she took even one breath of the gas she was done for and she knew it. It was frustrating though, if it weren’t for the gas making her fight while holding her breath, she wouldn’t have even broken a sweat. Yet here she was, actually feeling pressured by men who even with triple the numbers they’d brought would’ve normally been hard pressed to win even a battle of attrition against her.

                Whoever masterminded this knows what they’re doing, she thought angrily as she crumpled yet another armed man twice her size, anyone but me would’ve been toast by now. If Sabo was awake, we could’ve blown this taco stand the instant I felt them trying to surround us, but I can’t carry him AND fight these guys off!

                Then a bullet whizzed through the window behind her, perfectly on target to hit her square in the shoulder…only for her to effortlessly sway to the side and the bullet to go through the eye of one of the men advancing through the opening and whirling the anchor chains like lassos. That man dropped, but as the young woman turned her attention to the other man who was readying to throw, the captain dropped through the ceiling, forcing her to dive to the side or be crushed under him. It was then that she accidentally drew her first breath since the knock out gas had seeped through the floorboards, and in doing so, lost.

                As she pushed herself upright, her vision already starting to blur and spin from the potent sedatives, the anchor chain suddenly dropped around her neck like a noose and half a dozen men at once yanked her back flat. She gasped in shock, pain and horror as she registered the Captain’s leer was framed by a transparent sphere as shadowy figures poured through the windows to grab her partner and begin to chain him up. Another breath, another dose of the gas as the chains and the sight of a bubble helmet rattled her badly enough that she had to fight down a panic attack. She’d have been hard pressed to even stand up now through the vertigo as her body fought against her judgment for air, let alone fight.

                The Captain slammed his boot into her stomach, driving the wind out of her and forcing her to take another gasping breath of the gas he had long since built an immunity to in case his helmet ever broke as his men surged forward to bind her in the chains they’d brought specifically for this. He leaned down to get right in her face and through the haze now clouding her vision, she could make out horrible teeth and burn scars beneath lank greasy white hair, “Do you know who I am?”

                Koala’s reply was to muster enough strength to spit in his face. Or at least, the front of the glass bubble he wore to protect himself from the gas. The Captain backhanded her hard enough to send her sprawling, “Just for that you’ll suffer as much as your little boyfriend bitch! I hope he remembers, because you’re BOTH going to pay IN FULL for the day he and his shit brothers CROSSED THE PIRATE BLUEJAM!”

.

.

.

                Just then several things happened so quickly they seemed to be all at once:

                A massive form ripped through the outer wall, brushing it aside like a house of cards to snatch the half dozen men who’d come in through the windows seemingly all at once and fling them to the street below before jumping down after them with a massive club raised high.

                The chains holding Koala went slack as the men holding them lost the feeling in everything except the sudden searing pain in their necks.

                The gas was blown out along with the rest of the front wall in a massive burst like a sudden gale.

                Bluejam lurched and then looked down at the fingers poking out of his chest as Bones mused, “Naaah. I don’t think so.”

                Bones pulled his hand back and Bluejam turned as his crewmen collapsed, dead. He took a desperate, furious swing with the cutlass in his right hand and all the fury and impotence that had driven his paranoia for the last decade focused into what he knew with morbid, primal certainty would be the final strike of his life.

                His reward for his persistence was Bones’ fist rocketing through his glass helmet completely unscathed and colliding with his jaw in an uppercut hard enough to shear off the front half of his skull. As Bluejam collapsed, Bones turned and looped the devastating punch so that it was aimed at the sniper across the street, “TOBU-KEN TAIHO!”

                As the sniper’s skull all but imploded, Bones turned and stepped past Koala growling, “Oh no, you’re not getting away. Tobu-ken Taiho Kantai!” Bones’ fists blurred and almost as if there were no space at all between him and the fleeing Bluejam Pirates, massive holes erupted through them.

                Bones nodded as they collapsed, satisfied that none had gotten away, and then turned and lifted the chain noose from around Koala’s neck and gently helped her up from where the gas had robbed her of her strength, “Hey, are you alright?”

                Maybe it was the pain. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the relief. Perhaps it was the gray shirt and black coat, with the haze in her brain from the gas making the blood on his face making his skin look red in the dim light, like someone else who had once saved her. It was probably the gas and exhaustion from heavy fighting after nearly ten minutes of oxygen deprivation.

                Koala would never be sure. Bones would never care. All that mattered as she passed out in Bones’ arms was that she was safe.

.

…

.

                “Rrrgh, I don’t like this, I’m not a doctor. Even if I know what it was and what the after effects can be, I have no idea what it’ll do to somebody from here. The baselines for resistance are completely different. Injuries that would kill anyone back home are laughable here. I don’t know if that applies to poison, the symptoms are mostly internal so without her being awake I can’t check them without extensive diagnostic equipment that I don’t know how to operate anyway, and beyond that I don’t know how much of that gas she inhaled so I can’t gauge how much I need to be panicking! It’s worse since I can’t even imagine where I’d look to get my hands on an oxygen tank, which is the only method I know of other than getting them to some fresh air to speed up purging the toxins. I mean she can probably hold her breath while fighting, she’s an expert in Fishman Karate. It’d be bloody weird if she couldn’t fight while holding her breath, unless she’s learned to breathe water somehow…”

                Koala woke up to the sound of someone rambling and immediately tried to find something to cover her eyes and stop the light blazing through her eyelids before settling for the backs of her hands, whimpering in pain as her whole head felt like Sabo had used it for practice with his pipe. There was a rustle of cloth and suddenly the light dimmed as the person who had been rambling asked quietly, “You alright?”

                Koala lifted one hand and cracked an eye before immediately scrunching it back shut and recovering it, “Who…?” She was faking. She could tell she’d have no problem at all moving or even fighting if she had to, but that didn’t change the fact that her head felt like shit and she had no idea who that was talking.

                “Holy shit is she awake?!” Another voice asked and Koala grimaced at the sudden burst of sound.

                “And judging by her expression she feels like she took a Thunder Bagua to the head. We should try not to make much noise,” the first voice replied before continuing in a calm, even tone, “Koala, you’re safe. Sabo’s right here. You were attacked last night by a pirate crew with a grudge against Sabo.”

                Koala’s eyes popped wide open as the memories flooded back to her. “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine. We killed the pirates and got you both out of town. We’re in the woods about ten miles inland where you can get some air to hopefully flush the gas out of your system.”

                “You’re…that suit guy, from the pub,” Koala declared slowly, “Why did you help us?”

                Bones made a little strangled sound of outrage, before taking an audible deep breath to calm himself, “I’m your friend ain’t I? Even if you don’t believe me, I’ve nothing but friendly intentions for you two. Besides, even if I wasn’t your friend, it was the right thing to do. We’ve got some soup cooking if you feel up to eating.”

                Koala shook her head, “Stomach feels tight, eating’s probably a bad idea.” She slowly forced one eye open and moved to sit up before deciding it was a really bad idea and laying back down. “What the hell was that gas?”

                “Judging by the fuel I found in the room below yours, you’re suffering from acute carbon monoxide poisoning,” Bones replied, “It’s a good thing you left Sabo by the open window, I don’t know how resistant people are to toxic gasses here, but judging by the fact that it’s still giving you a headache, I think he wouldn’t have survived being in the middle of that room for long. It’s hard to say how much was in there going off your reaction to it since you can probably hold your breath for an abnormally long time. I don’t know how much you actually breathed in.”

                “Sorry we didn’t jump in sooner,” Yamato added, “You looked like you had it under control. You should be proud, that was awesome.”

                Koala grimaced, “There’s nothing awesome about nearly dying. I didn’t start breathing until the one in the bubble helmet came through the ceiling.”

                “It’s a hell of a lot better than being dead,” Bones replied, “And besides, you were still mopping the floor with them. If it weren’t for the gas, we wouldn’t even have needed to step in at all would we?”

                Koala pouted slightly, “I’m still wondering why you didn’t step in immediately. If I’m your friend, why didn’t you?”

                “We didn’t realize they were gassing the room until we saw Bluejam put his helmet on,” Yamato admitted after a moment, “And seriously, you were being way too awesome to interrupt before we realized that.”

                “Not to mention you might’ve mistaken us for enemies,” Bones added, “You seemed kinda hostile towards us when you left the pub. I’d bow and apologize profusely, but you seem to have some sensitivity to light right now, and I’ll have to lower my coat to do that.”

                Koala grimaced, “No, it’s…I’m,” she lowered her hands and opened her eyes, wincing as the light hit them but shaking it off as she sat up, “I’m alright.” She took a second to appreciate the scenery now that she could see it. It was a beautiful East Blue day and they were surrounded by trees that only grew in little clumps scattered across the high rolling hills of Park Island. There was the beginnings of a forest in the valley below on the banks of a creek, but they were far enough up the hill that she could easily look down on the treetops.

                There was a rustle of cloth and movement and Yamato exclaimed, “Bones!” Koala blinked in shock as she realized that Bones was indeed on his knees and bowing his head all the way to the ground.

                “I am truly sorry for not helping as much as I should. We could have ended that fight in seconds, but left you to fight alone because we were too blind to see the depth of Bluejam’s preparations,” he declared quietly, “I hope you can forgive me.”

                Yamato stared for a second and then she bowed too, “Please forgive us.”

                Koala felt a beat of sweat roll down her temple, “Um, yo…tha…i…it’s, not that big a deal, I mean, you couldn’t have known…it’s…um, it’s alright. Um, can you please get up, this is really weird…”

                Bones and Yamato sat up, Yamato immediately returning to the stirring and Bones placing his hands on his knees. Koala noticed that he had ditched the suit that made him look like a Cipher Pol agent in favor of distinctly more piratey clothes. A brownish gray tricorn, a charcoal gray button down shirt under a black overcoat worn like a captain’s and dark denim pants with sturdy brown boots.

                Koala sighed, “So how did you know all that about me and Sabo? You said you’re not Cipher Pol, and I don’t think you would’ve helped us if you were, especially if you know who Sabo is, but I also don’t believe you’re an oracle like Madame Shyarly either.”

                Bones smirked slightly, “As Yamato said yesterday, I doubt you’ll believe me, but I’ll try anyway. I’m actually from a parallel universe where this world is nothing but a storybook. Sabo’s little brother Luffy is the main character, so of course I know about Sabo, and by extension, you.”

                Koala snorted out a little laugh, “Yeah, you’re definitely not Cipher Pol, they’d never try a lie that stupid.”

                “Have you got a better explanation?” Bones asked flatly, “Because the only other one I could come up with is the oracle thing. I suppose I could be…” he suddenly spun to his feet to posture grandly with a massive smile, “…the World’s Greatest Detective!”

                Once he was certain he’d gotten a laugh out of Yamato and a chuckle out of Koala he sat back down to wave the notion off with a grin, “…but I really don’t feel like taking up a mantle like that that’ll have people trying to test it. I’m smart but I’m no Sherlock Holmes.”

                “Sooo…what are you then?” Koala asked tentatively.

                “A madman,” Bones replied with a crooked smile. Then he suddenly belted out the most outrageously hammy and yet somehow terrifying evil laugh Yamato and Koala had ever heard. He stopped after a moment and blinked, “I’m sorry about that, I have no idea what that was about. Wait a minute…” He thought about it for a minute and then started laughing again, “Never mind, I know exactly what just happened! That was the sound of my friends screaming in fury at one of my pranks!” He proceeded to laugh so hard he couldn’t hold himself upright before rolling around in the grass laughing his ass off.

.

…

.

                “WHEN I FIND THAT SON OF A BITCH I’M GONNA KILL HIM!” Reiju roared as she and Zoro hauled ass, rowing like their lives depended on it to pursue the rapidly shrinking airborne form of their rubber brained captain as they learned what Bones had meant in his note:

Luffy catches the bird.

Chapter 4: Chapter 3

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

                “Hey Captain, didn’t you say you hated some Shanks guy?” Cabaji asked as he read the front page of his newspaper.

                “With a flashy passion,” Buggy confirmed before realizing something was off, “Why?”

                Cabaji turned the paper around, “He made the front page stopping some rampaging dragon called Kaido.”

                “Gimme that!” Buggy demanded as he snatched the paper away and began quickly reading through the article that took up the entire front page.

                He made it about halfway through the article before stopping, all the color draining from his face before rushing back a hundredfold as he loosed a roar that shook the entire town, “SHANKS’S BOUNTY IS WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!”

.

…

.

                Three hours later, Reiju actually sat down panting as she slid the cutlass she’d stolen from one of Buggy’s crewmen back into its sheathe, “So that’s what the Roger Pirates were like? That guy was a monster!”

                The surrounding area was littered with bodies and buildings that had been smashed down by the two brawling Devil Fruit empowered pirate captains. If not for her iron skin, Reiju was certain she’d have died several times over due to the sheer number of opponents. She and Zoro had each been worth easily twenty of their opponents, but there had been far more than forty and they had all been excellently coordinated. I’ve seen special forces units that weren’t that well organized, Reiju mused wryly, it’s a shame he came after us the instant he realized we were here. They would’ve made fine allies.

                “The Roger Pirates?” Zoro asked as Nami’s head whipped around, “That guy used to sail with the pirate king?!”

                Luffy sat bolt upright from where he’d laid out flat on his back in the middle of the now thoroughly demolished town, “That guy sailed with the King of Pirates?! No wonder he was so strong!”

                Reiju nodded, “Bones says he used to be best friends with Red Haired Shanks, so I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that he was able to fight like that. What I want to know is what the hell set him off like that? Did someone mention his nose?”

                “Yeah, what was up with that? There’s no way that was his real nose was it?” Nami asked while dabbing at one of the cuts she was covered in, wincing slightly as the pain flared.

                “It was,” Reiju replied, “Bones said so.”

                “You keep talking about Bones,” Nami mused, “Who is he?”

                “Some oracle that got her out of a tight spot,” Zoro replied as he pulled off his bandana and started wiping blood off his katana one after another, completely heedless of the numerous wounds which appeared to not be bothering him at all even though an ordinary person would probably be on the verge of death, “He had exact knowledge of the last big fight we were in down to the last hit and predicted Luffy getting caught by that giant bird that dropped him next to you, even if he was a cryptic bastard about it. I’ll laugh about it later, but it scared the crap out of me when it happened.”

                Nami froze and then sat forward, “Wait, how did you know that Luffy landed right next to me?”

                “And then he beat up three guys chasing you, you fed him, declared yourself a thief who steals from pirates when he asked you to join his crew and requested his help swindling Buggy which led to him being in that cage and nearly getting blown to smithereens,” Reiju rattled off, “Am I wrong about any of that?”

                Nami sat back wide eyed, her mind visibly racing. Then, “So, an oracle huh?”

                “The first thing we’ve seen wrong in his predictions was Buggy going full on Roger Pirate like that,” Reiju nodded, “And he had an exclusive warning about not making Buggy get serious because even he’s not sure what all Buggy’s actually capable of beyond having the potential to be one of the world’s most powerful pirates hiding behind that goofy exterior. Judging by that fight,” she glanced around at the wreckage of nearly half the town, “I’d say it was a pretty fair assessment. Oh, and Luffy, don’t tell anyone here that we’re pirates unless you want to have to run.”

                Luffy flopped back onto his back, “I’ll be quiet.” Then he raised his head back up and looked around, “Hey, did we get any of that treasure from Buggy?”

                A big smile suddenly lit Nami’s face, “Oh yeah! I almost forgot!” She suddenly hefted a sack of gold and money that had to weigh easily double what she did from behind the destroyed wall she was sitting on and hugged it like a kid with a teddy bear, “So. Much. TREASURE!”

                “We should leave it for the people here to rebuild with,” Luffy declared flatly before flopping back onto his back, completely heedless of the sudden expression on Nami’s face.

                Nami turned utterly crimson immediately and shrieked, “WHAT?!”

                Reiju thought about it for a second and then stood up, “Nami? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

                Nami turned her attention on Reiju, “IF YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE ME GIVE UP MY TREASURE THEN NO!”

                “It’s not about that,” Reiju replied dryly, “Although I do think the Captain’s right. Most of that probably belonged to the townspeople here anyway.”

                Nami flinched at that and grudgingly set the bag down before standing, “F-f-fine. What do you want to talk about?”

                Reiju jerked her head off to the side, “Something you don’t want anyone else hearing about.”

                Nami blinked in confusion and then went from slowly fading crimson to ghostly pale as she understood what Reiju meant, “Oh. Um, lead on.”

                Reiju nodded and led Nami a little ways away from Luffy and Zoro. Reiju figured they could both still hear her, but there was no need for Nami to know that. She laid a hand on Nami’s shoulder, “Nami, I know what happened to you. I haven’t told Zoro and Luffy, but I want you to understand that we’re going to help you okay?”

                “You can’t,” Nami declared sharply but quietly, “Even as bad as Buggy was, he’s still nothing on Arlong.”

                Reiju nodded, “Bones said you’d think that, and he also said we’ll prove you wrong.”

                “So what?” Nami asked quietly as she leaned back against the wall and looked at the ground, her orange hair falling forward to obscure her face, “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Has he actually seen Arlong? Has he seen what happens to anyone who challenges Arlong?”

                “Yes, yes, and yes,” Reiju replied simply, earning a shocked look from Nami, “Arlong is a fishman from the halfway point of the Grand Line. By Bones’ estimate he is a sixty to eighty million beri combatant. He is beyond any shadow of a doubt one of the strongest pirates currently in the East Blue. Would you like to know something though?”

                “What’s that?” Nami asked quietly, still unable to meet Reiju’s gaze as hope started to cut through the fog of dread in her mind at the mention of Arlong.

                “I’m from the North Blue, and I’ve fought in the Grand Line,” Reiju declared, “Luffy and Zoro? Zoro could beat Arlong by himself if he was in good condition and knew Arlong’s tricks, which thanks to Bones, he will. Luffy? Luffy could go in completely blind, unarmed, half cocked, and goofy, and still win.”

                The declaration hit Nami like a punch in the gut, because there wasn’t the slightest waver or doubt in Reiju’s voice. Reiju smiled gently, “And before we get there, we’ll be picking up the finest sniper in the East Blue and my brother who is as strong as any of us. What’s more, you’ve also got me. Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji would win, even without me handy. I’ll let you in on a little not so secret,” she raised her hand and thick viscous maroon colored poison started dripping from her palm, “I’ve got an ability of my own, and mine’s a lot more directly deadly than Luffy’s. One touch from me and Arlong’ll be dead within half an hour.”

                Nami stared at Reiju’s hand for almost a full minute, her eyes slowly widening as her jaw started to drop, “Poison?” Then her eyes flickered to Reiju’s hair, “Pink…”

Reiju nodded and Nami’s hair stood on end in terror as she shrieked, “POISON PINK?! YOU’RE POISON PINK?! I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!”

                Reiju sighed, “Yes I am, no I’m not, and try to keep your voice down. It’s not something I like to think about. My father pays the head of the World Economic Journal to fictionalize us to make our presence more shocking and terrifying. The whole ‘ruled the entire North Blue for sixty six days’ thing makes us a good, easy, acceptable villain for nearly a quarter of the world too. I don’t have my Raid Suit or any of my weapons from Germa sadly. I was sleeping in the nude when Bones teleported me to the East Blue to help me escape, so I don’t even have the clothes I had there.”

                Nami took a second to process that and then, “Wait, so he moved you while you were naked?”

                “He was quite surprised about it,” Reiju noted, “A perfect gentleman about it though. Offered me his shirt and jacket the instant he realized I didn’t have any clothes on and asked me to cover up while he refused to look even though he very much wanted to.”

                “Sounds like a really great guy,” Nami mused, then something else clicked with her, “Wait, you said we’re going to get your brothers?!” A starry eyed smile graced her face, “All four of them?! With those four monsters there’s no way we’ll lose! Oh, are they single? I could kinda go for the bad boy thing!”

                Reiju grimaced, “Not all four. Yes they’re single, but the only one you’d want to even consider trying a relationship is the one we’re going to get. You know him as Stealth Black.”

                Nami blinked and then stars erupted in her eyes anew, “Stealth Black?! We’re going to get Stealth Black?! He’s my favorite one!”

                Reiju smiled faintly, “Ah, try not to hype him up too much in your mind. If he’s anything like the other three then he’s a total dork. Absurdly strong, very intelligent and quite handsome, but a dork.”

.

…

.

                Several hundred miles away, Sanji was snapped back to reality by a sneeze in mid-swoon over the latest customers to sweet talk him into letting them go without paying. The customers in question, a pair of somewhat attractive blondes who were both wearing shirts which were unusually flattering to their figures and rather revealing at that, didn’t notice. They were already on their way out the door laughing at him.

                Sanji felt a teeny little crack form in his heart as he overheard the one he’d seen before tell her friend, “See? What did I tell you? He’s so desperate!”

                “What a dork,” her friend laughed, “Too bad, he’s a total hunk, but there’s no way I can take him seriously with him acting like that! And you said he’s like that with every girl that comes in?”

                The door swung closed behind them and Sanji was approximately the same shade of white as the table cloth as he stood frozen, staring at the door. Other than being pale as a ghost, only the very slightest twitch of his face gave away how upset he was as he turned and almost mechanically began to collect the dishes.

                “HEY SANJI! WHAT THE HELL?! DID YOU JUST LET THOSE TWO BROADS GO WITHOUT PAYING?!” Patty demanded as he rushed out of the kitchen. The look Sanji shot him cut off his tirade in its tracks and Patty suddenly became acutely aware that he was within striking distance of Sanji’s subtly steel lined dress shoes.

                Even more than that, he realized something was very wrong. Sanji normally didn’t get the hearts out of his eyes and the pink fluff out of his head for at least three minutes after a good looking girl sweet talked him. Once a girl put the charm on him, talking to him was usually useless until he realized they were gone a few minutes later.

                Right then though? The young sous chef was completely sobered up and looked ready to kill the next thing that crossed him.

                It wasn’t the loud, flamboyant and largely harmless fury he usually had with the other chefs, this was the very rare and incredibly dangerous look Patty only ever saw on the blonde’s face when food was wasted. Patty gulped slightly as Sanji turned back to collecting the plates and then, “Ah…well, um, do ya need any help carryin’ those?”

                “I’ve got it. See to the next table,” Sanji replied in a terse quiet voice that let Patty know immediately that whatever he had just missed, it had not been good.

.

…

.

                Nami thought about that for a moment and then shrugged with a small smile, “Eh, I can live with a bit of dorkiness if he’s handsome and sweet.”

                Reiju nodded slightly, resigning herself to seeing Nami’s idolized version of Sanji utterly squashed when she met the real deal. It certainly would be for any of her other brothers after all. Then she raised an eyebrow, “Oh one more thing, don’t bring up Germa. He ran away when he was a child because the rest of our family was utterly horrible to him, I’ve only just found out where he is. They all think he’s probably dead, and he’d probably prefer to keep it that way.

                “Oh, and he can’t turn invisible,” she added, “The reason the others were horrible to him is because he didn’t have special powers like the rest of us. My understanding from Bones is that he was a late bloomer but still never manifested the invisibility like he was supposed to. If I’d had any warning I was going to be transported I’d have grabbed the Raid Suit that was meant for him before he left Germa. That would’ve let him do it, but as it stands, he doesn’t know it exists and I don’t want to upset him with the knowledge that it does and we don’t have it.”

                “He can’t?” Nami pouted, “Well that sucks. He’s still crazy strong and tough though right?”

                Reiju nodded, “Like I said, Bones swears up and down that Sanji’s as strong as Zoro and Luffy, and I think you’ve seen enough of them to know how strong that is.”

                “You sure do put a lot of stock in this Bones guy,” Nami mused, “Where is he anyway?”

.

…

.

                Bones sneezed for the third time in fifteen minutes and growled as the force of the sneeze caused his shoulders and head to ache. It wasn’t really surprising that such sneezes would be painful given that they sent everything nearby that wasn’t weighted down flying. If they weren’t sitting on the picnic blanket, it would’ve been draped over somebody’s head.

                “Point that air cannon somewhere else!” Koala snapped as she put her hat back on, “Geez! How do you even begin to sneeze that hard?!”

                Bones tried to rub the stars from his eyes, “Sorry Cuddles, they’ve always been like that, and they’ve only gotten stronger here recently.”

                “Cuddles?” Koala asked in a warning tone.

                “You’re small, adorable and look cuddly,” Yamato explained as she petted the ears of the five-hundred pound tiger she’d tamed half an hour earlier and was now using as a pillow, “He gives nicknames to his friends. If you don’t like it, he’ll change it.”

                Bones nodded and cracked an eye as the stars finally faded, “Have you got another nickname you’d prefer?”

                “Just call me Koala!”

                Bones grimaced, “I may have to. I really don’t know you anything like well enough yet to come up with a nickname that’s anything less than extremely flirty and affectionate. I’d rather Sabo not kill me when he wakes up. Don’t know if he could but don’t wanna find out either.”

                “What makes you think I can’t?” Koala asked irritably.

                “Simple,” Bones answered and was suddenly gone. Koala grudgingly noted that his speed was actually very impressive, even with her Observation, she’d only just seen the blur.

                After a few minutes of silence, Yamato looked over at Koala, “I think that means he likes you too much to ever fight you and is pretty sure he can outrun you.”

                “Is he always this annoying?” Koala asked grumpily.

                “Nah,” Yamato replied as she stretched and looked up at the sky, “He means well, he’s just apparently crap at talking to girls he likes. He’s fine when it’s just me and him, but the instant a girl he’s attracted to enters the picture, he’s utterly hopeless. I think it gets worse the more he likes them.

                She sat up and looked Koala in the eye, “He saved a princess the other day and even though he had no intentions other than to help her, he still managed to constantly piss her off so bad that like half of what they said to each other was her threatening to kill him and him convincing her not to. He frustrated her to tears even though he absolutely adores her, and he was utterly furious with his own inability to convince her he was trying to help. They finally split up after like half a day together and I honestly think if I hadn’t shown myself when I did, he probably would’ve sat in the boat crying his eyes out for the rest of the day.”

                “Seriously?” Koala asked, “Was it really that bad?”

                “Oh yeah,” Yamato nodded, “And the worst part is that she was actually starting to like him too, but the circumstances had her so freaked out that she couldn’t trust him even though by the time they parted ways she wanted to so bad it hurt.”

                “Wow,” Koala grimaced, “What did he do?”

                So Yamato proceeded to explain the situation between Reiju and Bones. Meanwhile, in a different port town than the one they’d been in the day before, Bones bought a guitar.

.

…

.

                Three days later, on a sleepy little island ringed by rocky bluffs, the security staff of a large and ostentatious mansion found themselves befuddled, “Um, I wasn’t aware anyone had called for a doctor, Miss…?”

                “Reiju,” declared the professional looking young woman with pink hair and blue eyes that seemed to be daring them to challenge her while also warning of extreme pain should they do so, “I was not called. Rather an upstanding young man in town mentioned that there was a patient in need of my assistance here. Are you trying to tell me that there is not a young blonde woman here whose health has been in a precarious state for the last fourteen months?”

                “Well, yes, Miss Kaya has been quite under the weather since her parents’ passing last year but…”

                “But nothing,” Reiju snapped imperiously, “Show me to my patient.”

                “You might wanna do what she says,” Nami mused in her nurse’s outfit, “Doc’s from the Grand Line and she can get kiiinda scary when people try to keep her from her patients. She takes her Doctor’s Oath very seriously.”

                “What is the meaning of all this?” A tall bespectacled man demanded as he approached from within the manor grounds before asking Reiju, “Who are you? If you are trying to sell something we are not grk!”

                “Go to sleep and get out of my way,” Reiju ordered the bespectacled butler coldly as the two guards wondered when exactly she had moved to stick a needle into the butler’s shoulder. Reiju turned back to them with a terrifying look in her eyes as the butler collapsed to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut, “Would anyone else like to attempt to stop me from upholding my medical oath?”

                “No ma’am, we’ll go let Miss Kaya know you’re here right away!” the two guards chorused as they bolted for the manor.

                Once they were gone, Nami shot Reiju a slightly frightened look, “Um…so what exactly did you just stick him with?”

                Reiju smirked slightly, gently twirling the syringe between her fingers before sticking it back into the bag of medical supplies she’d picked up in Orange Town, “Oh…nothing much. Just an approximate dose of anesthetic, judging by his height and body type. I was able to prepare several different dosages in Orange Town. Assuming I guessed his weight right, which I usually do, he should be out for about an hour.”

                After a moment of silence Reiju offhandedly asked if Nami knew that apples contained deadly poison.

                Nami took a second to process that, then remembered they had been eating apples for three days and went ghostly pale, “The apples were poison?”

                Reiju gave a small snort of laughter before explaining quietly, “No, just a fun bit of trivia. The apples were fine. The seeds on the other hand actually are rather poisonous if you eat enough of them. Thanks to my ability, I can metabolize it safely and even alter its chemical structure to produce different effects, such as timed release and triggers. It's actually one I'm quite practiced with since apples are my favorite. Oh look, the good one.”

                Nami followed Reiju’s gaze to see a very distressed looking gentleman with white hair that reminded her inexplicably of a sheep hurrying out to meet them with the two guards.

                “You must be Merry,” Reiju declared warmly with a kind smile that caught Merry and the two guards completely by surprise, “I was informed that you were by far the more reasonable of this estate’s two chiefs of staff. I am a doctor and I’ve been informed that the head of the house is in poor health. I’d like to offer my services. I am an expert in matters of toxicology and a fair hand at treating most other ailments as well.”

                Merry took a second and then, “I see. Well, um, may I ask to see your credentials doctor?”

                Reiju sighed, “Unfortunately most of our belongings were lost in a pirate attack the other day. My assistant and I managed to escape on one of the life boats, and we grabbed some of my supplies as we were fleeing, but most of our supplies went to treating the victims and all of my paperwork was in my luggage.”

                A pained grimace twisted her face into a twitching mess that looked nearly on the verge of tears, “Two hundred and forty nine pages of thesis…torched!” The way she forced the word out was almost a squeak, and if Nami hadn’t known she was lying through her teeth, would’ve had her asking about it later.

                “A pirate attack you say?” Merry asked with immediate concern, “Around here? Oh, and my sincere condolences about your thesis.”

                Reiju wiped an honest to gods tear from her eye and took a deep breath, “Yes, One Two Jango and the Black Cat Pirates attacked our ship a week ago a little ways north of here. We were very lucky to escape.”

                “Doc’s been trying to bury herself in work to keep from thinking about it,” Nami explained, “She’s been going around from town to town helping everyone she can. She hasn’t even been charging!”

                “Which my dear assistant hates dreadfully,” Reiju grimaced.

                “Your services are worth millions of beris and you’re just doing this for free?! I know you’re upset but have you lost your mind?!” Nami screeched as her face turned crimson and her orange hair seemed to suddenly combust.

                “We’ve had this argument a lot recently,” Reiju stage whispered to Merry with a cheeky grin.

                Merry laughed rather nervously. Nami’s rage was a fearsome thing to behold, “Aha, I, ah, I see. Well, we’ve had numerous doctors examine Miss Kaya since she fell ill, but perhaps you can find something they can’t. It certainly can’t hurt to allow an examination right? Oh um, what did you do to Klahadore?”

                “A minor anesthetic,” Reiju replied easily, “He’ll have a nice hour long doctor prescribed nap which will then turn into a natural sleep. He should wake up this evening, but if he wakes up sooner, then try to get him to sit down and take it easy. His body should not naturally wake up in less than the next four hours. If he wakes up and is immediately alert, you need to keep a very close eye on him because it means his circulation is badly overclocked. That vein I saw twitching in his eyelid is a sign of significant hypertension and he does seem like the type to get too worked up unnecessarily. I know it’s likely pointless to tell him to take it easy a little, but I’ve seen younger men than him work themselves up until their hearts give out. I had one man get so worked up he actually gave himself a seizure. Sometimes if I’m nearby I can save them, but far too often I’m not, and sometimes they’re simply gone by the time I arrive. He seemed like a very dedicated gentleman, I’m sure you’d hate to lose him.”

                “Oh, yes of course, and I do apologize if he was rude to you, he’s just so very overprotective of Miss Kaya and…” as Reiju and Merry walked towards the manor, Nami would almost never have guessed that the pinkette had poisoned the tall man being dragged away by his coworkers.

.

…

.

                “Are you really sure this is going to work?” Usopp asked as he lined up the shot atop a log nearly a meter thick.

                “Reiju says it’ll work, so it will,” Zoro replied simply, “Just make sure we don’t miss.”

                “Shishishishi, Reiju sure is smart isn’t she?” Luffy chuckled.

                “Well, I know I never would’ve thought to turn a rubber man into a rubber band,” Usopp mused, “Alright, a little to the left, about a hand’s width higher…perfect. Alright, now just let me get off the top of this…”

                Usopp slid off the top of the sharpened log Zoro had made out of a tree bigger around than he was and the corresponding launcher stand he was adjusting to Usopp’s specifications to sink the pirate ship that was hovering on the horizon. Usopp stepped clear of the two outstretched rubber arms and Zoro did the same, “Alright Luffy, make absolutely sure you kick the dead center of the log okay?”

                “Shishishi, no problem!” BOOOINGPOWFWOOSH! Usopp watched in awe as the log sailed out of sight, only to reappear a moment later in his spy glass, slamming through the side of the pirate ship.

                Usopp stared for a moment and then went pale and gulped, “W-wow…you actually did it…I’ve never even heard of cannons making a shot like that…” then a nervously hopeful grin grew on his face, “but…we just did!”

                THUNK! “Yep,” Zoro replied nonchalantly as he dropped another log onto the stand, “Now make sure our aim’s still right so we can do it again.”

.

…

.

                Meanwhile, a few islands away…

                Sabo’s eyes popped open and he glanced around, immediately confused about his whereabouts as he registered that he was in the back of a wagon. The countryside was a carpet of wild flowers beneath the most peacefully blue sky he could recall having ever seen. A gentle breeze caressed his cheek as he noticed a windmill on a nearby hill and he felt a surge of nostalgia, home…

Then Koala noticed he was awake and shot him a smile, “Oh good, you’re awake!”

                Sabo blinked, that wasn’t nearly as emotional as I was expecting. I must not have been out long, “Hey, how long was I out?”

                “Three days and a fight that nearly got us both killed,” Koala snapped, “Do you have any idea how worried I was?!”

                “WHAT?!” Sabo exclaimed as he sat bolt upright, “I MISSED FIFTEEN MEALS?!”

                Before Koala could respond a raucous laugh burst out from behind Sabo, “That’s exactly what Luffy would say!”

                “Some ties run deeper than blood,” another voice replied.

                Sabo whirled and saw the back of two familiar heads driving the wagon, one looking over the back of the seat to grin at him. “You’re…the two from the pub…” his gaze slid to Koala, “…why?”

                Koala snorted at him, “They’re actually the ones who saved us, and they brought us all the way to Dawn Island so you can see your family. Bones is still insufferable, but Yamato’s cool.”

                The grin she shot the back of Bones’s head made it clear she thought no such thing, but that was lost on Bones as he whirled with a horror struck and slightly hurt expression, “Whaaa…? But…b-b…Awww…” He turned back to face the front grumbling glumly, “Thought we were making progress. It’s good you’re awake by the way,” he added, “According to the map we’re almost to Foosha! Do you think I can talk Mayor Woop Slap out of his paper?”

                “Not if he’s not done with, wait a minute you know Mayor Woop Slap?!” Sabo asked.

                “Minor side character, know the name, the face, a couple of notable traits,” Bones replied tiredly.

                “Side character?” Sabo asked with a note of concern over the idea that somebody would relegate another person, an actual person, to the status of ‘side character’. It was a foul tasting thought, almost like calling someone ‘slave’ or ‘trash’. There was something just, utterly dehumanizing about it.

                “Long story short Sabo-kun, Bones there is New World grade bullshit,” Koala explained nonchalantly, “I’m still not sure I believe him about getting yanked into a story book about our world from another world, but I currently don’t have a better explanation, and his abilities have got New World written all over him, so for now I’m just classifying his entire existence under ‘New World Bullshit’.”

                Sabo nodded, momentarily pondering that such an explanation was actually completely understandable and valid, “And Miss…Yamato was it?”

                “Yamato-san,” Yamato corrected.

                “Yamato likes Wano’s suffixes better than normal prefixes,” Koala explained.

                Sabo nodded and then glanced at the very clearly a beautiful (if very tall) woman in the front of the wagon, “I see. My apologies Yamato-san.”

                Yamato smirked lightly at him, “No prob, just don’t go thinking I’m some girly girl. I’m not a girl, I’m Oden.”

                “Oden…” Sabo racked his brains quickly, “I’ve heard that name…”

                “Infamous samurai from Wano, the rightful shogun, formerly the commander of the Whitebeard Pirates’ Second Division, later sailed with Gold Roger on the Pirate King’s final voyage, and would’ve taken down Kaido twenty years ago if he hadn’t been tricked and killed,” Koala explained quickly.

                Sabo raised an eyebrow and Koala shot a smile at a pouting Yamato, “Sorry Yamato, we’re almost to Foosha, he wouldn’t have had time to hear the entire story.”

                Yamato sighed, “Yeah, probably.”

                “You’re…Oden?” Sabo asked cautiously, Devil Fruit shenanigans?

                “Specifically she took up his cause after his death and decided to be the hero Wano needs,” Bones replied before Yamato could. Yamato shot him a glare that evaporated when he added without even sparing a glance, “Dunno about Wano, but I’d rather have one Yama-chan with me than nine Odens. Yama-chan and Oden-sama would be nice, having both would definitely be the best-case scenario, but if I had to pick one or the other, I don’t think Oden-sama would disagree with me wanting Yama-chan around.”

                Sabo noted Yamato’s shocked look and the embarrassed blush that bloomed in its wake before shooting a questioning glance at Koala. Koala made a face and laid her hand flat before tilting it from side to side in a noncommittal gesture.

                Sabo shot a glance at Yamato and then turned his gaze back to Koala quirking an eyebrow.

                Koala made a slightly agonized face and then one of resignation with a dismissal hand gesture.

                Sabo blinked and then nodded before turning back to find Yamato and Bones watching them over their shoulders with bemused smirks. Bones grinned at Yamato, “Told ya they were a thing.”

                “Oh I could tell that at a glance,” Yamato replied breezily, “More importantly, did you catch any of what they were saying?”

                “Sabo asked if we were a couple and Koala said kinda-sorta-not-really. Sabo asked if she was sure because you’re beautiful and clearly amazing and I’d have to be crazy to not notice, and Koala said it’s complicated so she’d explain later,” Bones rattled off easily, “But I’ll save her the trouble by explaining that while I am incredibly attracted to you Yama-chan, we’re still in the getting to know each other phase since we only met, what less than a week ago?”

                “Five days,” Yamato replied, trying hard to stifle the slight blush.

                Bones nodded, “Right, five days.” His eyes suddenly gained a far-off look, “I’ve been in this world for five days…God, my family must be freaking out.” He shook his head after a moment and shot a glance and forced smile over his shoulder, “But that’s enough about me, today’s a big day for you eh Sabo?”

                It was then that Sabo realized there was a very familiar village at the bottom of the hill they had just crested.

                “Welcome home Sabo,” Bones declared with a small smile. Then he glanced over his shoulder, “Sabo?” His head whipped back around and he saw a rapidly retreating figure in a top hat barely visible through the cloud of dust left in it’s wake. Bones smiled, “Ha, well, it is a reasonable reaction. I was kinda hoping to get a picture of the moment for him. Oh well. On we go! Upsy-daisy Eeyore!” He gently popped the reins to spur the calm donkey that had been pulling the cart back into motion.

.

…

.

                “Say ah,” Reiju instructed gently with a smile. Kaya obliged and Reiju peered down her throat before gently checking her lymph nodes and pulse. Reiju nodded, “Alright, now we’ll check for lung function. Take deep breath and hold it as long as you can.”

                Kaya took a deep breath and held it for what Reiju counted to be 35 seconds before letting it out. Reiju nodded, “Alright, good, good, please lift,” she shot a glance at Merry, “Sir, would you mind stepping out or covering your eyes for a moment?”

                Merry blinked and then his eyes went wide, “Oh! Of course.” He stepped out and Reiju had Kaya lift her dress so that the stethoscope could reach the spot between Kaya’s shoulderblades, “Alright, breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…big deep breath…back out…” Reiju moved the stethoscope over to the other side and repeated the instructions before nodding and packing away her stethoscope. Nami was the only one who noticed Reiju take a quick lick of her fingers while Kaya’s back was turned. Reiju raised an eyebrow as she shot a glance at Kaya but then smiled, “Alright Miss Kaya, that about does it for the physical exam.”

                Reiju sat back down and smiled as Kaya turned to face her, “Alright Kaya, I’m going to ask you some questions. Some of them may seem a little strange, but I think I’ve an idea of your ailment now so I need you to answer honestly for me, okay?”

                Kaya nodded, “I’ll do my best.” Reiju nodded, “Alright and if you don’t mind, I’d like to check your pulse while we go through the questions, just a little double check.” Kaya offered Reiju her hand and Reiju accepted it, gently pressing her thumb to Kaya’s wrist, “Alright Kaya, when would you say your symptoms started?”

                “It was…last year,” Kaya forced out, “Right after my parents…”

                Reiju nodded, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. How often do you do the things you did before you became ill?”

                “Um…not often, I’ve, mostly stayed in bed,” Kaya admitted.

                “Are there any particular times of day when your symptoms feel reduced? When you feel just a little bit better?” Reiju asked.

                Kaya thought for a moment and then blushed slightly, “Um…I’m not sure if it counts, but whenever Usopp comes by to tell me stories, I usually feel better.”

                Reiju smiled, “Okay, and when he’s not here?”

                “It’s…like a cloud goes over the sun and the rain won’t stop and the whole world’s just gone gray!” Kaya spilled out in a rush, “Please don’t tell me I can’t see Usopp anymore! Klahadore already doesn’t like him, if a doctor says seeing him is bad for me then they’ll never let him in here to see me again!”

                Reiju rose and tugged Kaya into a hug, “Shhh…don’t worry. I’ll say nothing of the sort. In fact, I think I’ve confirmed your diagnosis.”

                Kaya’s eyes went wide, “You have?!”

                Reiju nodded with a smile as she drew back, “I have. Mr. Merry? You can come back in now, I have a diagnosis.”

                Merry all but burst back into the room, “You do?!”

                Reiju nodded, “It’s quite simple. Kaya is clinically depressed, a sadness so profound that it actually affects her health and self-perpetuates if left alone.”

                Merry and Kaya’s jaws dropped in unison.

                “You mean, it’s all in my head?” Kaya asked nervously.

                “Your head and heart,” Reiju replied simply as she extracted a pen and notebook from her bag, “Treatment will be a rather long process, but a simple one. I’m writing down a number of foods which have been proven by the finest scientists in the world to improve one’s mood and vitality. Mr. Merry, I will be relying on you to ensure that they are incorporated into Kaya’s diet frequently. Not all the time and make sure you change it up regularly. Routine is one of the worst things you can do in this state, as is staying in bed all day and night. You need to get outside and live. You can start small and ease back into it, a walk around the house, a walk in the garden and then into town. If there’s anywhere you want to go,” Reiju shot Kaya a smile, “Then why wait?”

                “I know you’re probably not feeling up to it right now,” Reiju added gently, “but if you just wait for this to clear up on its own without taking matters into your own hands a bit, it’ll hang around forever. Make yourself eat three times a day, even if you’re not hungry. It doesn’t have to be much, but your body can’t bounce back if you don’t eat. Starving yourself will only make you feel worse. Get up and go see your friends, make some new friends if you haven’t got enough to go see. Find something you’re interested in and dive into it. I know you may feel like you haven’t got anything left to live for,” Reiju finished quietly, “I know that’s how I felt when my mother passed away and I lost my little brother at sea, but you have to keep going. They wouldn’t want you to give up Kaya.”

                Reiju’s eyes were watering slightly as she gave Kaya one of the most earnest beautiful smiles Nami had ever seen and then Kaya absolutely broke. She clung to Reiju like a lifeline and cried her eyes out for what seemed like a very long time, Reiju just calmly comforting her the entire time.

.

…

.

                As Reiju and Nami strolled away from Kaya’s manor an hour later, the deed to a caravel in tow, Nami finally mustered the nerve to ask, “So…I know you’re an incredible actress, how much of that in there was real?”

                “All of it,” Reiju replied nonchalantly.

                “So…your mom…” Nami asked hesitantly.

                Reiju slowed to a stop and exhaled, “My brothers and I all have abilities. We’re stronger, faster, smarter than normal people. Our skin is as hard as armor plating, and our hearts are as cold as stone. I can be your friend, I can place a value on your life higher than what I place on my own. I can do that easily. I can also turn around and kill someone I worked desperately to save only a few minutes earlier in an instant and not feel a goddamn thing other than some frustration at having wasted my time. My brothers are the same way, perfect killing machines. I remember what it is to be human, but my brothers never experienced it at all. We’re no more people than a gun,” she declared bitterly before continuing.

“That’s a result of my father doing experimental surgeries on them before they were born, and me after. Our mother didn’t believe in what my father was doing to us, and took experimental drugs to try to reverse what he’d done to my brothers. Those drugs killed her, and of the four of them, only Sanji was saved from what my father had planned. When Sanji wasn’t a perfect killing machine, when he came out as a perfectly normal wonderful human, my father threw him in prison, locked an iron mask onto his head, and told everyone in the kingdom that he was dead.”

                Reiju took a deep breath, “Our brothers found out he was alive and began using him for a punching bag again until I was able to help him escape. That was the last time I ever saw him.”

                “So…what you said to Kaya…”

                “The man who told me those words was the family physician,” Reiju explained quietly, “He had tended to my mother in her final hours and was the one to discover what I had been doing when I was at my lowest point. He was the one who sparked my interest in medicine,” Reiju closed her eyes, “He saved my life…” A tear slid down her cheek that she immediately raised a hand to hide, “And that monster killed him for it.”

                Nami was shocked silent by the admission, and they might’ve been there for a long time had not a very blood splattered Zoro asked, “Do I need to kill somebody?”

                “If they made our friends cry then yes,” an equally blood splattered Luffy declared.

                “Um…wow, you guys are really over protective huh?” Usopp asked before turning to Nami, “Um, speaking of overprotective, ah…how’s Kaya?”

                Reiju exhaled sharply, “To answer all those questions in order,” She raised her head and met their gaze, “Zoro, yes we are going to rain down fiery hellish vengeance if we ever get the chance. Usopp, yes Zoro and Luffy are exactly as overprotective as family should be, and Kaya’s going to be just fine. She has a nasty case of clinical depression, but I’ve prescribed a treatment regimen and explained to her and Merry both what it is and how to fight it. She should make a full recovery Usopp. Oh, I also poisoned Kuro in a way that’ll make it look like he had a terrible seizure, so that threat’s been dealt with.”

                Then she raised the deed to the caravel she’d procured as thanks for her services, “And I got us a ship!”

                Before Usopp could respond, one of the security staff from Kaya’s mansion came racing down the road towards them, “DOCTOOOR!!!” He skidded up to her, “Oh thank god I caught you! It’s terrible! Just like you said! Klahadore woke up too early and got angry and then he just keeled over!”

                Reiju’s expression turned deadly serious, “Let’s go.” If she hadn’t just admitted to it, none of her crewmates would ever have guessed as she hurried away that she had been the one to kill the pirate captain turned butler.

Chapter 5: Chapter 4

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

.

…May 10^th, East Blue…

.

                “So, how’d it go?” the mountainous man in white asked into the transponder snail’s receiver as he calmly plucked a donut from the box on the desk next to him. He’d eaten well over a thousand by this point and was honestly about to grow tired of his favorite treat, but he’d decided to beat the world record and by golly he was going to. Especially since the current holder was a pirate.

                “Estimated casualties are numbering in the tens of thousands at minimum,” the equally sized man on the other end replied grimly, “Apparently Kaido can move very quickly when he feels like it. We’ll have to organize efforts to intercept him much quicker in case this ever happens again. That coward Doflamingo turned tail and ran within five minutes of engaging, but at least now we know what caused Kaido to go on a rampage like that.”

                “Eh? You mean he wasn’t just drunk? Something actually set him off that bad?” the donut eating man asked in surprise, “I mean him going on a rampage is nothing new, but this one was…”

                “I’m afraid so,” the man on the other end sighed, “And while I hate to be grimly satisfied by the death of a child, I do find myself taking some small solace that Kaido’s bloodline ended itself. Heaven knows whether the world would be able to withstand two of that monster.”

                “I know that’s the official position Senny, but you’re still an ass for saying so,” Vice Admiral Garp informed his best friend.

                Fleet Admiral Sengoku grunted, “Be that as it may, I have to wonder if the consequences might not have been worse than the little monster living. Damage reports are still streaming in from across the New World. Seems like Kaido ran into Red Haired Shanks before he could find Whitebeard. Apparently Kaido blames Fire Fist Ace for his daughter’s death.”

                Garp froze, a donut halfway to his mouth and then turned his suddenly thunderous expression on the snail that had just relayed his best friend’s words, “Excuse me?”

                Sengoku grimaced, “According to what Doflamingo has been able to dig up, Ace visited Wano a little over a year ago and befriended Kaido’s daughter. Kaido apparently had said daughter restrained with exploding manacles designed to incapacitate her if she ever tried to run away from home. What Doflamingo is telling us is that the cuffs went off, which Kaido believes means the girl must’ve tried to tamper with them. According to Doflamingo’s sources, the blast didn’t even leave a body, just a fire that nearly burned down Kaido’s entire base of operations.”

                “Any chance she could’ve escaped somehow?” Garp asked, “And what’s this got to do with Ace aside from him being her friend?”

                “Kaido seemed certain his daughter was dead,” Sengoku replied, “And frankly it doesn’t really matter to me. Unless the girl pops up alive somewhere, then it might be a problem. It relates back to Ace because apparently some of Kaido’s subordinates overheard Ace promising to come back and take Kaido’s daughter out to sea with him.”

                If Garp had been chewing he’d have spewed donut across his office, “THEY WERE DATING?!”

                Sengoku shrugged, “Who knows? Whatever the case, that grandson of yours has even more of a giant target on his back now.”

                “Remind me again why I can’t go pulverize that punk Kaido?” Garp snarled.

                “It would require too much of our forces to crush his entire crew and leave us open to attacks from the other three Emperors, not to mention stripping our garrisons to the bone across the entire world and hanging basically every island under our protection out to dry,” Sengoku replied flatly, “I know you’re angry Garp, but remember that if Kaido goes after Ace he’ll have to get through Whitebeard first.”

                Garp’s expression twitched and went through a very interesting set of emotions before settling on resignation, “You’ve got a point. Any other bad news you want to give me while we’re sharing?”

                “You know the Germa Double 6?” Sengoku asked with a narrowly repressed groan.

                “What did they do now?”

                “Apparently Judge Vinsmoke’s daughter, the crown princess, has also gone missing,” Sengoku declared exasperatedly, “and unlike Kaido’s daughter, Reiju was not on an exploding leash and as far as I or Judge know had no reason to leave.”

                “So on top of the aftermath of Kaido’s rampage we’ve also got a case of kidnapped royalty huh?” Garp mused, “Have there been any ransom demands?”

                “None,” Sengoku declared, “Judge has kicked up one hell of a stink though. Cipher Pol’s in an uproar trying to figure out how she could’ve been kidnapped and who could’ve pulled it off. I’m quite puzzled by it myself, Reiju isn’t some helpless damsel in distress type by any stretch of the imagination.”

                “You know her?” Garp asked in surprise.

                “She’s been Germa’s liaison to the Navy for the last five years,” Sengoku replied dryly, “Same sort of ‘we’re getting involved stay out of our way’ messages Judge has always sent, but she’s actually got some manners. I’ve only met her in person twice, but I hear from her every time Germa takes a job. Judge has her trained pretty well, she’d be at the very barest minimum a Commodore if we could ever recruit her. On top of her tactical and physical capability, she’s also got some kind of power that reminds me of a watered down Magellan, but I don’t think I’m wrong when I say she’s got a sense of Justice even if she’s not allowed to act on it. I was kind of looking forward to seeing how she’d run Germa, so I’ve thrown out an order to every Navy base in the New World and Paradise to keep an eye and ear out for her. If she’s alive, I’d certainly prefer to have her in charge of Germa rather than one of those brothers of hers.”

                “The brothers are that bad huh?” Garp asked with a raised eyebrow.

                “Worse than Judge by half,” Sengoku declared flatly, “If they’re anything like they were at the last Reverie, and every report I’ve received about them indicates they’ve only gotten worse, they’ve got the same temperament as a few pirates I could name, not soft ones either.”

                “Definitely need to find the girl then,” Garp nodded, “Anything else while I’ve got ya?”

                There was a sound of rustling paper and then Sengoku asked, “On your way home could you swing by Shellstown? We just got a report from one Commander Ripper that Captain Axe-Hand Morgan has been abusing his authority, in gross violation of Marine Code and killing people for offending him. They’ve recently managed to contain him and have plenty of evidence for a court martial built up. I’d say Axe-Hand Morgan’s got a date with Judge Baskerville at Enies Lobby, would you make sure he doesn’t miss it?”

                Garp’s expression darkened at the mention of someone abusing the Marine’s authority to act like a pirate, “My pleasure.”

.

…May 15^th, Hightown, Goa Kingdom…

.

                The guards raised an eyebrow as the blonde man in the yellow coat and top hat strolled up like he owned the place. The man himself wasn’t that out of place, the yellow coat was a bit tasteless and certainly not a fashionable color, but the style was rather commonplace among the nobles of Hightown. No, what gave the guards pause were the man’s compatriots.

                A slender but well endowed beauty with raven hair and sunglasses, a top that exposed a scandalous amount of her midriff beneath her black and white jacket, and matching pants tucked into black boots. She looked every bit the harlot to the sensibilities of Hightown, but for all that she’d drawn the eyes of many men who’d seen her ride through town with her friends that morning, she was not what drew them the most stares.

                No, that honor belonged to the wagon driver. He was in no uncertain terms huge, and as he stepped from the wagon and tugged a white coat from the back, he was revealed to be even more massive, easily a head taller than the guards, broad shouldered and with muscles as thick as a normal man’s head. His own head was a mess of straw blonde hair and his face was obscured beneath a white mustache so perfectly sickle shaped it had to be fake and a large white bicorn that looked to be of rather poor make.

                That said, the guards didn’t realize they were in trouble until the massive man swung on his white coat and reached into the wagon to withdraw what looked like a metal headed oar as something enormous rose from beneath a tarp laid in the back. That was when they saw the Jolly Roger on his back. Unfortunately for them, that was also about the point where the blonde man reached them and suddenly had them both by the throat, casually lifting them off the ground.

                “Good morning gentlemen,” the blonde man declared with a smile, “My name is Sabo. Sabo Outlook III. My friends and I are here to make a sizable withdrawal. Do please let everyone know to get out of our way.”

                Sabo then hurled the guards through the open doors to the First Bank of High Town and Royal Treasury before stepping through, pulling a pistol from within his coat and shooting the base of the chain holding the lobby’s grand chandelier. The ceiling around the point of impact shattered, sending the chandelier plummeting to the floor below.

                In the stunned silence after the massive tangle of crystal, candles and metal crashed to the floor, Sabo shouted, “In case I didn’t make myself clear, THIS IS A BANK ROBBERY!”

                Pandemonium ensued both in the bank and the street as a black and white wolf the size of a rhino erupted out of the back of the wagon.

.

…May 17^th, Foosha Village…

.

                Garp accepted the snail mic his aide Bogart had dialed for him as he looked at the paper in his hand and raised an eyebrow as the call was answered, “Hey Senny, you remember that kid Kaido went on that rampage about last week? Just out of curiosity, do we have any idea what the kid looked like or how old they were?”

                On the other end of the call, Fleet Admiral Sengoku, as well as Admiral Aokiji, Vice Admiral Tsuru and Commodore Brannew froze, their eyes suddenly riveted on the thoughtful expression the snail was relaying to them from arguably the Marines’ greatest hero. Any time Garp looked thoughtful, something bad was about to come out of his mouth.

                Sengoku took a deep breath, and slowly let it out, “Garp. Why do you sound like you’re looking at the child who Kaido just went on a rampage that devastated thirty nine cities across seven different countries, killing over forty thousand people with nearly twice that many again injured, and nearly starting a war with Whitebeard and Red Haired Shanks at the same time over the death of?”

                “Well I was just reading the paper I borrowed from Mayor Woop Slap, you see Luffy made the front page beating up Buggy the Clown in a brawl that knocked down Orange Town last week,” Garp explained, “You know, I think I will have this framed…”

                “Well that is certainly good news,” Sengoku replied, “But what does it have to do with…” he trailed off and then asked very flatly, “Garp, are you about to tell me that Luffy has made friends with Kaido’s daughter?”

                Garp shot a very surprised look at him through the snail, “Eh? No, no, nothing like that. Does look like he’s made some new friends though, and if that girl’s who I think she is, then I just found that missing princess Judge Vinsmoke was raising hell over.”

                A loud chorus of “WHAT?!” was audible down the hall.

                “You mean Princess Vinsmoke is with your grandson in the East Blue?!” Sengoku demanded.

                “But how? She was reported missing in the New World less than two weeks ago!” Tsuru asked, “There’s not a ship in the world that fast!”

                They couldn’t see Garp shrug, but they could tell from his expression that he had, “How should I know? Chalk it up to New World bullshit, but if that picture you sent me is anything to go by then I’m pretty sure that’s her. Anyway, as I was saying…”

                “Nonono, hold up Garp,” Sengoku interrupted, “You’re seriously telling me that the missing princess of the Germa Double 6, who routinely calls me to give me updates that Germa’s about to turn some poor battlefield into a mass grave with hints that she wants me to organize humanitarian aid for anyone left in the aftermath, sends me very nice Christmas cards every year despite knowing full well that I hate hearing from any of her family, and has the entirety of Cipher Pol losing their minds right now trying to figure out how, when and why she was abducted, is in the East Blue, beating up pirates with  your grandson?”

                “Well, like I said I’m not completely sure it’s her, but I’d about bet money it is,” Garp declared dryly, “Got some guy named Zoro with them that Bogart tells me is a big deal in the East Blue. Can’t say I like the idea of Luffy being a bounty hunter, but it’s a lot better than a pirate. Of course, this Axe-Hand Morgan clown I just picked up for his court martial claims Luffy was the one to kick his ass too so…” He mulled that over for a second and then shrugged again, “Ah whatever. Luffy knows what a Marine’s not    supposed to be like, so I guess it’s just good judgment on his part, and from what this clown’s former subordinates are telling me, I would’ve hit him too.”

               Sengoku’s eye twitched and Tsuru sighed. Aokiji sat forward, “Um, excuse me Garp, but shouldn’t you maybe not tell us your grandson committed a serious offense by punching a Marine Officer?”

               “Fucker was in blatant violation of over two dozen Marine statutes. That makes him a criminal and completely viable for punching, kicking and biting with or without false teeth,” Garp countered offhandedly, “Along with quite a few other things that I’m sure Impel Down will be overjoyed to introduce him to. Luffy may be a few pinecones short of a balanced breakfast, but I guarantee you that I managed to drum that much into his and his brother’s heads.”

                Sengoku cut off Aokiji’s reply with a small hand gesture and shake of the head, his expression clearly declaring that the argument wasn’t worth it. Knowing Garp, Aokiji mused, It’s probably one they’ve had plenty of times already.

                Sengoku sat forward, “Okay Garp, we’ll let it slide this time. Do you want to tell us what it was you were saying about maybe having spotted the supposedly deceased daughter of Kaido?”

                Garp raised his eyebrows and the sound of paper rustling could be heard, “Well according to Woop Slap and Makino, my third idiot grandson, the one we all thought a Celestial Dragon blew up ten years ago, came home four days ago. Claims he’s had amnesia and just got his memory back. Apparently, he had the scars to back it up and came in at a dead sprint before breaking down in tears when Makino realized who he was. Hate that I missed him,” Garp mused, “Apparently, he’s gone and gotten himself a girlfriend. Makino claims she’s the sweetest, most adorable girl she’s ever seen, was very excited about it. Even Woop Slap liked her, so she must be a good kid.”

                “That’s wonderful Garp,” Tsuru declared with an honest smile, “We’re very happy for you.”

                Garp made a slightly disgruntled face, “Mmm…I’d be a lot happier if he and his friends hadn’t cleaned out the Goa Kingdom’s Royal Treasury two days ago. Surprised you haven’t asked me about it yet, nearly two billion beris snatched in broad daylight and half a kingdom’s capitol city knocked down when every member of the city’s law enforcement and the Royal Guard tried to stop ‘em. Not like they had to either, by all accounts the guards couldn’t touch ‘em, seems to have been done out of pure spite. Oh, and one of them threw a rock through the head of the prince that was Sabo’s adopted brother. Splattered the ugly git’s skull like an egg. Usually you’d all be flipping out over something like that and demanding I go chase ‘em down.” He mused before adding nonchalantly, “Of course, I guess the whole ‘cleaning up from Kaido on a rampage’ thing kinda takes precedence.”

                Commodore Brannew choked on his tea as Sengoku put his face in his hands with a groan. “I seem to recall you mentioning he hated the nobility of Goa,” Tsuru mused, “I take it this was an act of revenge for the Gray Terminal Incident and blackmailing him?”

                “That’s my guess,” Garp mused, “All that aside though, the interesting bit is the picture the reporters got of them while they were making their escape. I’m about to send it to you, take one look at it and tell me who springs to mind.”

                Sengoku paled slightly and as soon as the Vis-Snail Printer finished copying the picture, Sengoku reminded everyone present that he had been a sailor for longer than most people had been alive and had the vocabulary to prove it.

                Tsuru opened her mouth to scold him and Sengoku just shot his hand out to show her the picture. Tsuru accepted the picture and upon seeing it went nearly as white as her hair. It really said something that her hand was trembling ever so slightly as she extended it silently to Aokiji and Brannew to look. Brannew’s eyes got very wide behind his ever present sunglasses, “With your permission Fleet Admiral, I’m gonna go get started on those bounty posters.”

                “I think that would be a good idea,” Aokiji declared grimly.

                “WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MONSTERS DID YOU RAISE GARP?!” Sengoku roared into the snail-mic, “FIRST ACE JOINS THE WHITEBEARDS AND BECOMES THEIR SECOND DIVISION COMMANDER, THEN YOU TELL ME LUFFY’S RUNNING AROUND WITH THE ELDEST OF JUDGE VINSMOKE’S LITTLE MONSTERS AND THE TOUGHEST BOUNTY HUNTER IN THE EAST BLUE, AND NOW THIS?! WHAT KIND OF HELL DID YOU RAISE THOSE BRATS IN THAT MADE THEM TURN OUT LIKE THIS?!”

                “Same one I grew up in,” Garp replied bluntly.

                “That…actually explains too much…” Aokiji grumbled as Sengoku threw himself back into his chair in exasperation.

.

…May 18^th, East Blue…

.

                “Yama-chan, how exactly did we wind up in this position?”

                “Uhhh…”

                “Because I was certain I had procured and packed enough food for a month,” Bones declared in a calm but clearly irritated voice.

                “W-w-well…Makino-san’s cooking is really good…”

                “Yes it was,” Bones replied, “And now we are trying to catch our dinner floating in the middle of the ocean because you ate it all in two days while I wasn’t looking, and apparently the fish here are smarter than we are.”

                “I’m sorry,” Yamato declared quietly, hanging her head and refusing to meet Bones’s gaze.

                Bones left his flat disapproving stare on her for a moment more and then let it abate, “Why are you so damn adorable that I can’t stay mad at you?” He turned his gaze back to the water and completely missed the neon blush that graced Yamato’s face, “Plenty of treasure but we can’t eat that, and it’s no good as bait either.” He sighed, “I wish Lil’Outback or Twist were here. Outback could’ve just dived right in and punched a shark to death or something.”

                Yamato started to agree and then her nose twitched and she sat bolt upright, her head swiveling ninety degrees, “Lunch.”

                Bones leaned over and a vicious grin settled into place, “I’m on it.” A split second later three very unlucky pirates, one dressed as a scruffy Elvis impersonator, one wearing the top half of a filthy tuxedo and one bum wearing a striped shirt, found themselves jumping from their seats as Bones appeared among them.

                “Goood morning gentlemen!” Bones crooned in a too-nice tone with a clearly fake friendly smile, “I am an extremely hungry pirate, and my partner is too. We’re both bottomless pits who haven’t eaten in three days. Would you like to help us out, or would you prefer I help myself?”

                The pirates’ response was to grab pistols from a box and shoot him. Bones was completely unfazed by the half dozen bullets which crumpled against his skin with barely more effect than a hard poke. Bones cracked his knuckles as his polite and friendly smile turned into something very frightening, “Help myself you say? How generous of you!” His hands flickered out between blinks and the three pirates were promptly knocked unconscious. Only unconscious though, Bones was pulling his strikes.

                Bones turned and headed for the little ship’s cabin with a grin as he chuckled, “Oh yes, I am loving this new job.” He tugged open the door, ducked his head to get through the comparatively small entry, and found a small boy covered in half healed bruises tied to the wall with a rope like a dog on a leash steering the ship. They locked eyes and then Bones’s gaze followed the rope to the wall before tracing back down it to the kid. Bones didn’t say anything, instead he just closed the door, nodding. The boy heard three splashes a moment later.

                A few minutes later he opened the door back and came in, “Let’s get you untied kid.” He casually tugged the rope and yanked the bracket it was tied to out of the wall, “Where’s home for ya?”

                “Um…I don’t really have a home,” the boy replied, “My grandpa runs a floating oden shop though…”

                The boy flinched as Bones’s head snapped around from the sack he was busily stuffing food into, “Did you just say ‘floating oden shop’?”

.

…

.

                “Ahhh!!!” Yamato sighed happily as she patted her slightly distended belly two hours later, “That was great Ojii-san!”

                “How much do we owe ya chef?” Bones added as he finished his own bowl with a smile before glancing at Yamato’s meter high stacks of bowls and growing concerned. If it wasn’t every bowl the man owned aside from the one in Bones’s hand, it had to be close.

                The old man who had been cooking nonstop since they pulled up gained a sinister look in his eye and whipped out an abacus and started moving the beads at lightning speeds, “2500 kamodaki, 2560 seaweed, 6040 fishballs, 2040 white radishes, konjac, fishcakes, eggs…” he trailed off muttering rapid fire for almost a minute and it suddenly dawned on Yamato just how much she’d eaten.

                Then the old man slammed the abacus down on the counter, “I Ganzo, prepared this oden with my heart and soul. Added up, it totals 250 beris.”

                Yamato and Bones blinked in surprise at him and then glanced at the stacks and stacks of plates before swapping a glance. “Please hang on a moment,” Bones asked politely before hopping back across to their ship. Ganzo looked at Yamato inquisitively.

                Yamato sat forward with an earnest smile, “Ojii-san, your cooking is way better than 250 beris. That was absolutely delicious, and not just because oden’s one of my two favorite things and I was hungry.”

                “Heartily seconded,” Bones agreed as he hopped back over to the bar with a newspaper clenched in his fist, “According to the going average price of the ingredients you listed on the local markets, the actual price of that meal was more like a hundred and seventy seven thousand beris. Your cooking skills and the service were more than good enough to merit a hearty tip on top of that. Plus we’re in a good mood. SO.” He handed over a stack of 10,000 beri bills with a warm smile, “Thank you very much for the meal.”

                Ganzo’s jaw hit the deck in shock, “T-that’s…” Then he shook his head and straightened up, “You don’t understand. I don’t do this for money, I do this because it’s what I love to do. I’ll not accept such a ridiculous amount.”

                Yamato opened her mouth to argue, closed it, thought for a moment and then a small smile spread across her face, “That’s actually pretty cool of you Ojii-san. Are you sure though? We don’t need the money either, and you can do a lot more good with it than we can.”

                Ganzo crossed his arms and gave a small dignified huff with a smile, “The only reward I require is getting to make people happy. Food brings people together, if my cooking brings a little bit more joy into the world, then that’s all I can really ask.”

                Bones quickly started rummaging in his pockets and a moment later yanked out a wad of considerably smaller notes. He quickly sorted through them and, “Aha! I have a thousand beri note, would that be alright?”

                “That’s four times what I asked for!” Ganzo protested.

                “It’s the smallest bill I’ve got,” Bones replied flatly as he held out the note to Ganzo.

                Ganzo visibly fought with the decision and then sighed and accepted the bill, “Alright fine.” He barked out a small laugh, “You kids. You’re just like Woona...”

                He caught himself a moment too late and his grandson, who Bones had learned to be named Tobio, popped up like a jack in the box, “WOONAN?! YOU KNEW THE GREAT GOLD PIRATE WOONAN?!”

                Ganzo cringed and frowned at Bones and Yamato, “Now look what you’ve done.” Then he sighed and turned to his grandson, “Yes, Woonan was my best friend prior to becoming a pirate. I still consider him a dear friend even though I haven’t seen him in fifty years.”

                “Then, then if I knew where he was, could we go meet him?!” Tobio asked eagerly.

                Ganzo’s eyebrows rose until they disappeared behind his bandana, “You know where Woonan is?!”

                “Those three pirates that caught me worked for the pirate El Drago! He’s going after Woonan’s treasure! I was hoping to join Woonan’s crew when I ran into them and found out they’ve got a map to where Woonan’s treasure is buried! I managed to get a look at it! It’s actually really close to here! I can get us there, I know I can!”

                Ganzo crossed his arms, “El Drago huh? That guy’s bad news, I hear he’s got a ten million beri bounty.” He made a face, “I’m sure Woonan could handle the punk, his bounty was six times that last time I saw a poster for him, but if they catch him by surprise…” He visibly fought with himself for a moment and then, “I have to warn him.”

                Yamato and Bones swapped a glance and a grin, then Yamato turned to Ganzo, “Hey, Ojii-san, since you won’t let us pay you back for the meal in money, how about we take care of this El Drago guy for you so you can go see your old friend?”

                Ganzo looked up at them in surprise and then nodded, “If you could help us then yes. Are you sure you can take him though? You seem strong, I can see that plain as day, but El Drago is the sixth highest bounty in the East Blue.”

                Yamato chuckled, “I’m sure he is, but we’re from the Grand Line. A big fish here is a small fish there.”

                Ganzo actually flinched ever so slightly, “Ah. Yes, I suppose that does make a difference. Ah, Tobio, which way did you say it was?”

.

…Two Hours Later…

.

                The island was a very beautiful one, ringed with white sandy beaches and rolling hills covered in lush forest. At one end was a massive flat topped mountain with sheer sides that would be hellishly difficult to climb. There were smaller rocky outcroppings all across the island, and the forest was filled with the sounds of birds and bugs. Under the clear East Blue sky, dotted with wisps of puffy white clouds, it was like something right out of a postcard.

                All this beauty was lost on the immense leonine figure known as El Drago and his crew. El Drago was a very large man, nearly ten feet tall and clad in a golden breast plate and shoulder pads over his clothes. He also had gold painted onto his overgrown and sharpened fingernails so that they could function as effective claws, eschewing any other weapons in favor of his Devil Fruit power. He would be considered a very formidable opponent by most anybody in the East Blue.

                Yamato and Bones were on top of El Drago and his crew before the unfortunate pirates knew there was anybody in the area. El Drago and his right hand Gorashi went down first, one to Yamato’s club, the other to Bones’ Yon Shigan. The rest of the small crew were dead before they could react.

                “Ganzo-ojiichan said this guy was the sixth toughest in the East Blue?” Yamato asked with a hint of disappointment.

                Bones flicked his hand out to the side with enough speed that the blood was yanked off by the momentum. He took a moment to grin at his now clean hand and replied, “They might’ve been decently strong if we’d given them a moment to realize we were here. We weren’t here for entertainment though.”

                Yamato looked at him, “Well of course not, killing’s no fun. I know we told Ganzo-ojiichan we’d take care of these guys, but I was kind of hoping to at least work up a little bit of a sweat.” She sat down and rested her club on the ground with a frustrated grimace, “Is this what Father feels like all the time?”

                “Probably,” Bones declared as he started checking pockets and confiscating money and weapons, “When the strength difference is this much, it can’t even be called a fight. It’s just pest extermination.”

                “Bones, we knocked down half a city last week and nobody who could fight us showed up!” Yamato complained.

                “Are you trying to make freakin’ Garp come crawling out of the woodworks?!” Bones demanded, “Because that’s what that kind of talk invites, and he is in the area.”

                Yamato’s eyes went wide, “You’re right, that would be bad.”

                Bones nodded, “It certainly would, so after we get these clods buried, how’s about helping me hunt?”

                “Hunt?” Yamato asked curiously as Bones straightened up.

                Bones nodded with a grin, “This guy had a Devil Fruit.”

                Yamato’s eyes lit up with understanding, “And since you can’t swim anyway…”

                “Exactly,” Bones replied with a grin, “And even though he used it as a ship sinking sonic cannon, I really doubt this idiot knew what he was doing with it, so if it’s here...”

                “Then a genius like you can make it really scary!” Yamato finished excitedly as she jumped to her feet, “Let’s go find it!”

                “Hang on Yama-chan, due to the dead,” Bones chided her gently, “We gotta bury these guys. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want ghosts following me around.”

                Yamato went slightly pale, “Ghosts?”

                “Ghosts,” Bones declared firmly, “I don’t know if leaving them unburied would incite a haunting, and I’ve no desire to find out!”

                Yamato stared at him for a moment and then smiled, “Good one Bones, you had me going for a moment there. There’s no such thing as ghosts!”

                “The poltergeists I met five years ago, Humming Brook who ate the Yomi-yomi no mi, Big Mom’s Soru-soru no mi, and the spirits known as Klabautermen would all like to firmly disagree with you,” Bones replied matter of factly as he started to dig, sweeping his hands through the ground and scooping it clear one platter sized but lightning quick handful at a time.

                Yamato’s heart skipped a beat as she realized once again that Bones was not joking, “Oh my god, you’re actually serious…again!”

                Bones nodded, “I usually am.”

                “So a…poltergeist huh?” Yamato asked as she started hauling bodies over to the rapidly forming pit Bones was making, “What’s that?”

                “An incredibly pissed off ghost,” Bones explained, “A lot of times it’s something like the spirit of someone killed by betrayal or in a cruel and unusual manner. Someone whose life was ended so horrifically that their spirit was forever rooted to the place where they died, like a screaming prisoner trapped and suffering even after their body’s long since expired. Other times it can be when a grave is defiled, or more often a whole cemetery just gets built right on top of.”

                “That…that can actually happen?” Yamato asked nervously.

                “I expect Impel Down is riddled with the spooks. Mariejois too,” Bones replied grimly, “Surprised you’ve never seen one. Animals are usually more sensitive to the supernatural, I’d have thought Zoans would be too.”

                Yamato tried hard to repress the memories of every inexplicable bump and shadow she’d seen in her father’s fortress, “Yeah, if that’s a thing then they’re almost certainly like that. What uh, what happened with the one you met?”

                Bones actually paused digging and glanced up at the sky, “We’ve got time before dark or I’d never tell you this story.”

                “What’s it being dark have to do with it?” Yamato asked nervously.

                Bones shot her a look that made her wonder just how horrible the story he was about to tell was, “It’s been five years and I’m still not comfortable in the dark.”

                Yamato’s eyes were wide, “So uh, you…probably don’t wanna talk about it huh?” Please-don’t-talk-about-it-please-don’t-talk-about-it-please-don’t-talk-about-it…

                “I had a part time job working at a casino,” Bones explained, “It was summer break and I was a night owl anyway, so I had no problem with working nights when it was asked of me. The casino was built on top of an ancient burial ground, the local tribe has to send in their shaman every year to try and exorcise the angry spirits. I saw the guy do it that year right after I started, thought it was a load of hokum at the time. Thought for sure there was something I had missed, some trick. You see he had this bowl of water, when he went and started his walk through, it was just as clear as glass. When he came back out, it was jet black, like it had turned into oil.”

                “There were actually a couple of instances,” Bones continued, “First, when I was looking around in the back of house one afternoon, all the lights were out, and I couldn’t find the light switch. The back of house was tight and cramped and like a maze, well I was still new, so I’m searching high and low for this damn…ah shit I can’t even remember what I was hunting, anyway, so I’m opening every door I can find trying to find the table cloths, table cloths that’s what it was! Anyway, I’m on the ground floor, technically even a little underground, there’s not supposed to be anything under the floor I’m on. Well I opened up one door, and I swear there was a staircase leading down into a darkness I couldn’t see through.” Bones looked up and met Yamato’s gaze, “Then something looked back at me.”

                Yamato felt like the East Blue warmth had suddenly dissipated, “What was it?”

                Bones shrugged, “Hell if I know. I slammed the door and high tailed it the fuck up out of there! I went back a few hours later with a club and back up, my buddy Cody knows I don’t spook easy so he believed me when I said there was something nasty back there. We found the lights, and when we got to the door, I snatched it open…” Bones paused for a brief second and shook his head slightly, “Nothing, it was just a broom cupboard again. That was the first incident.”

                Yamato gulped lightly, “First?”

                A cloud passed over the sun, and Bones’s hat shadowed his eyes, “Oh yeah, and it only got worse. Cleaning a vacant floor of rooms one night, there was a hotel and convention center attached to the casino ya see, well it was close to midnight and it was an off season. Cody was out sick that night so I was all by myself. I’m just going through doing my thing, then I step out on the third floor and I get this…this feeling. You know how sometimes you know there’s danger nearby even if you don’t know what it is?”

                “You mean Observation Haki?” Yamato asked, “I thought you said you didn’t have that where you were from.”

                Bones paused digging for a moment and blinked, “Huh…ya know it does kind of seem similar now that I think about it. Ok, so um…imagine like, feeling the danger from your father being legitimately out to kill you.” Yamato flinched back in shock and Bones nodded, “Yeah! Just like that! Except you know he’s not, he’s not even anywhere close by, and there’s not supposed to be anything nearby which could even begin to be that big of a threat, but your Haki is screaming at you that something every bit of that bad is close by and out to get you.”

                “You felt something like that and didn’t run for your life?!” Yamato demanded, “Were you suicidal or something?!”

                “Nah that was Jerry’s malfunction not mine,” Bones replied, “Anyway, since we didn’t have Haki, or if we did it wasn’t strong enough to rely on or even realize we had it, I tried to write it off as just my imagination. I did start treading extremely carefully though, and I was ready to haul ass if I got the slightest reason to because the last time I’d gotten that feeling was when I was a little kid. My friend and I were running through the woods and that feeling just suddenly screamed at me to stop. I grabbed my friend by the back of the shirt to stop him and about a second later a deadly poisonous snake picked its head up on the log we were about to jump over.”

                “Are you sure you didn’t have Haki?” Yamato asked skeptically.

                “Like I said, if we did, we couldn’t measure, rely on or prove it,” Bones declared, “So anyway, it’s dark as a stack of cats again, and the only light is moonlight through the windows and my little light that I carried with me. The lights were always being worked on in that place and the electrician was in the process of trying to fix the lights on that floor, so the power was out, that’s why all the rooms were vacant. So, I’ve tried to write off this bad feeling as just my imagination, but it’s getting stronger with every step I take. I get halfway down the hall, I shit you not Room 313, and the door’s ajar. It’s not supposed to be open, so I push it open to see if someone’s in there. I open my mouth to call out to whoever it might be as I open the door, and the instant the door was out from between me and whatever the hell was in that room, I swear there was…”

                He held his hand up and gestured to his face, “There was no wind but I felt like I was getting a gale force right in my face, my heart seized up, my muscles tried to lock down…I wanted to scream, just…there was no stimulus but suddenly I felt like I was about to die!” He looked like it too as he continued, gesturing wildly now, “So I snatch the door shut, ‘NOPE! NOPE! NOT TONIGHT! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS TONIGHT!’ and start just marching away from there as fast as I can back towards the elevator. I get to the elevator and thank god the stairs were right next to it because when I looked back over my shoulder, SOMETHING WAS LEANING OUT OF THE DOOR LOOKING AT ME!”

                Yamato was profoundly glad Bones had not left this story until after sundown, “A-are you serious?!”

                “That was the next to last straw,” Bones explained, “The final straw was two or three weeks later when me and Cody thought there was a damned goat in one of the bathroom stalls. I’m just going through, mopping, wiping the countertops, the usual stuff ya know? Outta nowhere I hear this little ‘baaa’. I start lookin’ around like ‘what the hell?’, I thought someone was playing a prank on me.

                Bones made a face, “Then I hear it again. I look under the counters, nothing. Turn around and look under the doors to the stalls, and I see freakin’ hooves under there. We didn’t have zoans back home, the only things with hooves should be actual animals, so I’m thinking somehow a goat’s gotten in. Probably one of the guests brought a pet or somebody’s playing a prank or something inane like that. I go get Cody because if there’s a goat I’m going to need some help corralling it. We get back in there, duck down to make sure its still there and hasn’t gotten out, shove the door open and it’s the literal fucking devil staring back at us!”

                Yamato’s eyes bugged out as Bones continued, quick and breathless as the old fear reared its head, “Me and Cody hauled ass up outta there so fast that if the front doors hadn’ta been open we woulda gone right through ‘em and kept goin’! Manager called us up fifteen minutes later and demanded to know what the hell had gotten into us. We were freakin’ out so bad I don’t know if he could understand us or not, but we made it crystal clear that we were tendering our resignations! As if us already being two or three miles away wasn’t a dead giveaway!”

                He finally slowed down and drew a breath, still clearly shaken, “I didn’t believe in ghosts, the supernatural, none of that shit when I started that job. Ever since then?” He shook his head, “I ain’t messin’ with no damn spooks. I’m not sure even Haki could hurt a ghost. So hurry up and help me bury these guys, then we need to go check on Ganzo and the kid, meet Woonan if he’s still alive, see if we can round up that Devil Fruit, and then I want to be far, far away from here when the sun goes down.”

.

…Forty Five Minutes Later

.

                “Race you to the top!” Yamato declared excitedly before bounding up the nearly vertical rock face at break neck speed, Tobio clinging to her back in the harness Bones had tied him there with.

                Bones and Ganzo watched her go. Ganzo was tied to Bones’ back the same way Tobio was tied to Yamato’s. Ganzo looked over his shoulder at the white form ascending the rock face he was certain they’d find Woonan at the top of as easily as running along flat open ground with his grandson tied to her back. He held the hot pot of oden he’d made for his old friend a little more tightly, “That’s some energetic girlfriend you’ve got there kid.”

                “Energetic is putting it lightly,” Bones replied calmly before crouching down, “and she’s not my girlfriend. I’ve only know her for…” he tilted his head in thought for a moment, “has it really only been a week and a half? Hmm…” he shook his head, “Keep a tight grip on that pot and one hand on the lid. We don’t want it spilling.”

                “Why are we crouching?” Ganzo asked nervously as he moved his hands to hold the pot as instructed.

                “I doubt I can beat her to the top,” Bones replied, “But I want to try something.”

                Before Ganzo could ask what Bones had in mind, the massive pirate seemed to vibrate, and then there was no air except for what was trying to hammer Ganzo back to the ground. The tremendous rush of air lasted for only a moment and then gravity took hold. Ganzo drew a breath to scream as he realized how high they were, then he was jerked sideways with a sound like a gunshot.

                An instant later he felt Bones skid to a halt on the ground and collapse to one hand and knee coughing furiously. The harness was quickly ripped apart as Yamato and Tobio came over. Bones felt Yamato’s hand on his back as Ganzo and Tobio looked on in concern. “I’m…fine…” Bones coughed out, “Threw…kyuhuuu…threw my breathing off…I’ll…I’ll be fine…”

                He started trying to stagger back to his feet and Yamato immediately pushed him back into a sitting position before sitting and wrapping herself around him protectively from behind. He seemed very small in that moment, but maybe that was a good thing Yamato mused, he’d be hard to hold still otherwise. It still worried her though, Bones was strong. She knew he was strong, but whatever he’d just done had him shaking from exertion under that big coat he wore.

                She gently bonked the back of his head with the curve of one of her horns, “Like hell you’re okay, that’s the first time I’ve heard anything less than getting shot in the back of the head point blank get a physical reaction out of you. What the hell did you do to get up here that fast?”

                “It’s called Kamisori,” Bones huffed out, “It’s a combination of Geppo and Soru.”

                “That thing you use to run on the top of water?” Yamato asked with a frown.

                Bones nodded, “Geppo is the flying version. It’s normally much slower, but by combining it with Soru you get Kamisori, which can allow three dimensional movement at the same speeds as Soru.”

                They sat there for a moment and Yamato set her chin on his shoulder, subtly listening to his pulse still hammering through his carotid artery next to her ear, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

                “Need to train that more,” Bones declared as he settled back into her a little bit, “If I got like this in a fight with someone strong, it wouldn’t be good.”

                Yamato gave him a little squeeze, “Try not to overdo it, ‘kay? I know you want to be strong for everybody, but you don’t have to break yourself to pieces getting that way. You said it yourself, this is all really new to you, and even if your body’s changed a lot, you still have to give it time to adjust. Sasaki nearly snapped his own neck trying to learn how to spin his crest, and Maria had so many ridiculous screw ups trying to get her hybrid form how she liked it that it stopped being funny after a while. You said it yourself, about the only thing around here that can hurt you or me is you or me, so try not to hurt yourself. …Please?” she added as an afterthought.

                “Hrmm…when you put it like that how can I refuse?” Bones grumbled with a small smile. Then he glanced up towards Ganzo and his grandson as they headed towards the rundown house in the center of the plateau, “Do you hear anybody in there?”

                “Nnnope,” Yamato replied quietly, “and judging by the smell, that house hasn’t had anyone in it for a long time.” Then she suddenly blushed so red that Bones saw it out the corner of his eye.

                “What?” he asked curiously.

                “It’s…it’s nothing,” Yamato lied weakly, “Just something I wasn’t supposed to hear.”

                Bones thought for a moment, then decided to leave it be and instead gently placed his hands over Yamato’s with a small smile. “Ya know something?”

                Yamato looked at him in surprise, “Hmm?”

                Bones shot her a grin, “I’m glad I’m getting to travel like this with you. You’re bright and innocent and a little bit of a goofball, but you’re my bright innocent goofball, and I can’t think of anybody I’d prefer to follow around.”

                Yamato’s blush returned in force and then, “But, I thought I was following you?”

                Bones smiled, “Nah. Like I said the other day, I want to make my rendezvous with Reiju and the others in Loguetown, especially since I all but promised I would, but other than that, anywhere you want to go, I’m happy to follow. Even after Loguetown, if…if you somehow don’t get along with Luffy and the others and don’t want to join them,” Bones chewed it over for a second, “I think I would follow you instead.”

                Yamato’s heart skipped a beat, “You…are you serious?”

                Bones nodded, “Aye. I’d like for us to join Luffy and the others, but…” he smiled, “You’ve really grown on me. I’m with you and if you’ll have me, I will be ‘til the end.” A moment passed as his words sunk in, and he then made a very interesting squeaky sound as Yamato buried her face in his shoulder and hugged him so tight that a less durable person would’ve been crushed like an egg.

.

…May 19^th, Northeast of Gecko Islands…

.

                Nami paused flipping through the pages of the World Economic Journal that the News Coo had just delivered as a name caught her eye in the bounties section, “Wait a minute…” She opened the paper to the bounty posters and her eyes went wide as she saw the amount written on it.

                “Hey Reiju?”

                Reiju looked up from where she was reviewing the notes Bones had left her, “Did you say something Nami?”

                Nami held up the wanted poster in question with a wary expression on her face, “Is this that Bones guy you keep talking about?”

                Reiju tucked the papers that she had come to regard as her most important possession back into a stack and folded them under her arm before crossing the deck and springing up the steps to the forecastle in a single effortless bounce. She walked over to where Nami was kicked back in a deck chair and took the wanted poster, her breath catching as she saw the name and bounty that had been paired with the face of the most enigmatic person she’d ever met, “Bones, what the hell did you do?”

                “YOU MEAN THAT’S ACTUALLY HIM?!”

                “Well I’m pretty sure that mustache is fake,” Reiju replied, “He was clean shaven a week and a half ago, but yes, that’s definitely him. My question is what the hell possessed him to pull a stunt like this?! There is no way he doesn’t know who he’s provoking with this!”

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

“WHITEBEARD JR.” BONES

100,000,000 BERIS

                Just then Luffy, who had been peering over Reiju’s shoulder caught sight of the next wanted poster in line and snatched it from Nami’s hand, his face almost glued to it immediately, “That’s…”

.

…Meanwhile, Somewhere in the New World…

.

                “HEY POPS! LOOK AT THIS!” shouted one of the pirates aboard the most infamous ship in the world as he waved a wanted poster in one hand with the newspaper clutched in the other.

                He quickly ran across the deck to the absolute mountain of a man reclining in the center of the deck. The captain of this ship, The Moby Dick, put down his sake jug, “Thatch, what is it?”

                “Look at this wanted poster!” Whitebeard Pirates’ Fourth Division Commander Thatch exclaimed, the normally unflappable chef completely in a snit, “The government’s calling some jackass Whitebeard JUNIOR!”

                Whitebeard blinked in surprise and leaned forward to accept the wanted poster Thatch was trying to show him as the entire crew’s heads swiveled, the focus of every man, woman and in-between aboard suddenly zeroed in on their Captain and Fourth Division Commander. He lifted it up to get a better look at it and raised an eyebrow, “Huh. Ballsy little punk isn’t he? What did he do to get a bounty and name like that on his head as a first time offender?”

                “It says he and three of his friends tore open some royal treasury in the East Blue and made off with nearly two billion beris in the process of knocking half the city down, apparently he killed some prince or other too,” Thatch explained.

                A nearby head in an orange cowboy hat picked itself up out of its owners’ breakfast, “Where in East Blue?”

                Thatch jumped slightly and then, “That’s right! Ace! You’re from Goa Kingdom right?! Take a look at this! Some jackass impersonatin’ Pops just cleaned out Goa Kingdom’s Royal Treasury and offed their prince!”

                “WHAT?!” An explosion of flame accompanied the hasty approach of the Whitebeard Pirates’ Second Division Commander. Ace snatched the paper up and had to shake his hand to put the flames licking across his fingers out before he torched the paper. That did nothing about the miniature bonfire cheerfully dancing on top of his hat.

                His eyes quickly darted back and forth across the story that had only made international headlines three days after the fact until he reached the picture from which the bounty posters had taken their portraits, “Wait a minute…”

                He flipped open to the bounty posters and froze as he saw the poster that had been right behind Bones’. He dropped the rest of the paper in shock as he held the wanted poster in both hands, “That’s…” Tears welled in his eyes, “That’s impossible…” A grin spread across his face as the tears started streaming, “Sabo…”

                The strongest man in the world leaned down, “Oh? Somebody you know Ace?”

                Ace turned around the wanted poster, now smiling ear to ear and outright bawling as he and his little brother half a world away shouted for joy at the same time, “THAT’S MY BROTHER! HE’S ALIVE!”

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

“THE TWISTER” SABO OUTLOOK III

100,000,000 BERIS

.

…Meanwhile, A Certain Restaurant in the East Blue…

.

                Sabo sneezed and a grin spread across his face despite the ass chewing he was receiving over the snail mic. Koala elbowed him gently to remind him they were supposed to be looking remorseful.

.

…Elsewhere…

                A very tall blonde woman froze and then reached down to tap the woman she considered her sister on the shoulder, “Ulti. Look at this, tell me if I’m dreaming.”

                A minute and a half later a purple tipped cannonball shot through the fortress the two women lived in, a newspaper and brand new bounty poster clutched in her hand, “KAIDO-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

“WORLD TOUR” YAMATO

100,000,000 BERIS

Chapter 6: Chapter 5

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

.

…A little after midnight, May 20^th, East Blue…

.

                Bones pulled the cork from one of the many barrels of beer he and Yamato had taken from El Drago’s ship and fed a hose he’d picked up on Park Island into it. The hose had a Y shape in it that he’d cut and melted into it with a candle, and after extensive washing to ensure the hose was clean, it was now ready for use. Yamato watched him curiously as he pointed one end into a pitcher and guided the arm of the Y not in the barrel to his lips. He took a deep breath and vented it down the hose.

                A moment later, beer shot out the end of the hose as Bones pinched the end by his mouth. When the pitcher was full, Yamato’s jaw was on the ground as Bones pinched the hose off at the mouth of the barrel and stopped the flow.

                “How did you do that?!” Yamato demanded in a small amount of awe, “Was that some kind of magic trick?!”

                “A simple siphon,” Bones replied with a grin as he extracted the hose from the barrel and hammered the cork back in with his fist. “You’ve seen straws before right? This works on the same principle. You see nature doesn’t like vacuums, spaces where there’s nothing. So, if you create such a space, by say, blowing all the air out of a hose, nature will act to eliminate it by pulling something in as soon and quick as it can. It’ll pull air normally, because air’s easy, but if the only thing it can pull is a liquid, then it’ll pull the liquid. By blowing in one arm of the hose and then pinching off that arm, I created a vacuum that was able to pull the drink up and out. Saves us the trouble of lifting and pouring for a much more convenient refill.”

                Yamato smiled as she started pouring, “I should probably warn you, I’m…not entirely sure what’s going to happen if I start drinking. My father’s…” she measured her words for a moment, “A very unpredictable drunk. Don’t let me sink the ship okay?”

                Bones lifted his freshly filled mug and raised it for a toast, “My stepfather was a raging abusive dick bag of a drunk until I put a bullet in him and his shit friends.”

                Yamato sat up a little straighter in surprise, “Wha…seriously?”

                Bones grimaced, “I was ten at the time. The shotgun threw me off my feet, but not a one of those bastards walked away from it. I went, broke the glass out of the backdoor myself, put the gun back in the closet, and called the law to report that a crazy man had broken into my house and killed everyone but me.” He sighed as that hung in the air for a moment and then re-extended his mug again for a toast, “To getting better.”

                Yamato tentatively clinked her mug against his, “To getting better.”

                They drank and Bones exhaled, “You’re actually the first person I’ve ever told the truth to. I think the cops might’ve suspected I was lying, my grandparents too…but…” He shook his head, “Nobody would’ve blamed me for doing it even if they were sure I had. Not after what they did to Mom.”

                “Do you… want to talk about it?” Yamato asked cautiously.

                Bones downed the rest of his mug in one go and thumped it back to the crate they were using as a table, “No, but I might as well. Lord knows we’ve got enough booze for it. What else does a person talk about while drinking but one’s regrets? I’ll apologize in advance because I’m probably about to monologue for a bit, but you might as well understand what makes me tick since we’re going to be sailing together,” he mused as he poured himself another mug before letting his face twist into a snarl as he spat a curse as violently as a gun would a bullet before beginning his aforementioned monologue.

                Yamato would answer with her own when he finished, and by dawn if the two remembered what they’d spoken of, they’d be able to honestly claim they knew each other better than anyone else in the world. When they woke up sober that afternoon, they started drinking again, neither aware that their happier mood after having aired over twenty years worth of baggage each would turn into a, considerably boisterous time.

.

…May 24^th, East Blue…

.

                Look for a tall, lonely rock in the sea, possibly with a bit of grass on top of it. You should spot it around the time Luffy and Usopp go to fire the cannon for the first time. They will decide the rock in question would make a fine target and promptly blast the hell out of it.

                On that rock are Zoro’s old friends, Johnny and Yosaku. One of them, I believe it was Yosaku, will be down with scurvy and both extremely hungry. Help them, and they will repay you by guiding you to the Baratie. I would advise against searching every single rock you come across, and also against attempting to hasten Luffy and Usopp’s experimentation. If the course changes then I can’t guarantee anything. I know it will be frustrating and nerve wracking, but if everything else I’ve written in these papers has come true by this point, then you are on the right track. Be patient, it won’t be too long.

                Reiju read the notes again, sighing to herself and narrowly repressing a shudder of…worry? Longing? She wasn’t sure what the word for it was as she glanced around the featureless sea, her ears straining for the sound of Luffy and Usopp going for the cannon.

                “Something on your mind?” Zoro asked as he sat down next to her.

                Reiju sighed as she flipped the paper over, “Syrup Village was the last thing Bones wrote about before we find my brother. He doesn’t know the exact timing or location of our next…way mark I suppose. He knows the events, but not the when or the where. He didn’t have a map to reference and judging by the maps I’ve been reading of the area, I doubt he could’ve pinned my brother’s location if he had to.”

                Zoro was quiet for a moment, “So you’re on a stakeout.”

                Reiju blinked and then smiled faintly, “Yes, I suppose that does sum it up quite nicely.”

                “Anything I can do to help?” Zoro asked.

                Reiju thought for a moment and then, “Keep your eyes peeled.”

                “Okay,” Zoro answered, “For what?”

                Reiju was quiet for a moment, “…rocks. Big lonely ones, possibly with grass on top.”

                Zoro nodded, “I’ll keep my eyes peeled. Have you eaten today? If not you probably should.”

                Reiju opened her mouth to reply and then realized she hadn’t eaten that day…or the day before now that she thought about it. She shot Zoro a smile, “Thank you Zoro.”

.

…Elsewhere…

.

                “So, what you’re telling me is that these two,” Garp gestured to the two bounty posters between him and the beautiful young blonde woman they’d fished out of the sea in a barrel, “Demolished an entire island?”

                The blonde woman nodded, “Yessir, that’s right, they were fighting the Trump Siblings pirate armada all by themselves and when they took on the captain, Bear King, the fighting was so terrible they managed to destroy the Clockwork Key and the entire island with it!”

                “What’s a clock got to do with it?” Garp asked.

                “It was Clockwork Island,” the woman reiterated, “The entire island was man made, and the Clockwork Key was the center point that held it all together and made it function. It was still easily the size of a massive tower though! And that ogre woman just threw Bear King right through it!”

                Bogart handed Garp a piece of paper that caused Garp to raise an eyebrow, “I see. So you’re here telling me all this in the hopes that I’ll go catch them and avenge your crew.”

                “Well yes but- oh god that’s my wanted poster isn’t it?” the woman asked as every ounce of color drained out of her face.

                Garp turned the poster in question around, a surprisingly threatening grin on his face, “Yes it is, Ms. Honey Queen of the Trump Siblings worth nine million beris. Would you like to start thinking very carefully about what you say next?”

                Honey Queen gulped, “Um…” she flailed for an answer, any answer. Seduction? No that won’t work, he’s Garp the Hero! He’d never think with his dick over his Justice! SHITSHITSHITSHIT! What do I do? What do I do?! He’s going to drag me to Impel Down! What do I do?! Anything but that!

                A crazy, insane idea came to her, “…is it too late to become a Marine? I have a devil fruit if that helps!”

                Garp blinked in surprise and swapped a glance with Bogart. Bogart shrugged. Garp started laughing, “Alright! Welcome aboard Chore Girl uh…what’s your real name? We’ll need it for paperwork.”

                “Mary, Vice Admiral, sir! My name’s Mary. Thank you very much sir!” the now named Mary bowed repeatedly.

                 “You sure about this?” Bogart asked.

                “Of course! Where’s she gonna go? If she tries to desert, I’ll hunt her down and drag her to Impel Down myself!” Garp grinned, “Anyway, welcome aboard Chore Girl Mary! Coby! Take Mary down to the Quartermaster and get her assigned a bunk!”

                “Right!” Coby replied with a crisp salute, “Um, right this way!” He quickly led the now reformed but still very eager to get away from Garp pirate out of the office.

                Garp leaned over to the snail on his desk, “Call Senny.” The snail nodded and immediately started dialing, growing an afro a moment later.

                “Garp, any news?” Sengoku asked warily, knowing full well that Garp wouldn’t have called if there wasn’t.

                “Well aside from needing it published that I beat that world donut eating record,” Garp declared before adding, “Take that Katakuri, anyway, it seems like our little nightmare team has split up. I just fished a pirate out of the water claiming that the mini-Whitebeard and Kaido’s brat just demolished an entire island in a drunken rampage. She made no mention of the other two though, and when I showed her their wanted posters she said she didn’t see them, so I can only assume they’ve split up.”

                Sengoku ground his teeth, “I see. I’ll double their bounties immediately. Who was the pirate?”

                “Some third rate wimp of a girl who hasn’t got a clue how to properly use her Devil Fruit powers. Her bounty was only nine million, and frankly I’d say that was too generous. She’s apparently got a bit of a brain though. When I confronted her about it, she asked if it was too late to be a Marine!” Garp laughed, “Smarter than any of my brats I’ll give her that!”

                “And what did you tell her?” Sengoku asked, morbidly curious.

                “I told her welcome aboard and follow that new chore boy of mine I picked up in Shells Town to the Quartermaster!” Garp declared cheerily, “Maybe having each other around will help keep her in line, and make him wanna shape up! It worked with Hina and Smoker!”

                “You think these two will make Captain?” Sengoku asked with a raised eyebrow.

                Garp smirked, “You think they have a choice in the matter?”

                Sengoku allowed himself a small laugh, “Fair enough. I’ll look forward to seeing their progress.”

.

…May 25^th, East Blue…

.

                “Luffy! Usopp! Wait! Don’t blow up that rock yet!” Reiju exclaimed excitedly as she leapt up to the forecastle to stop them physically if she needed to, the rock Bones had predicted finally in sight. With water still falling back to the sea from where Luffy’s first attempt to hit the rock with the cannon had missed by well over a hundred feet.

                Luffy and Usopp looked at her in surprise, Usopp’s hand holding the torch mere inches from firing and demolishing the rock in question.

                “Huh? Why?” Usopp asked curiously, “Am I forgetting something?”

                Reiju held up the pages with a grin, “There are two people on that rock who can guide us to my brother!”

                Twenty minutes of quick paddling over to the rock and back in the Merry’s life boat and Zoro was hauling an unconscious form onto the deck with a dark haired man in blue and sunglasses, “Hey Reiju! Yosaku’s super sick, can you help him?”

                Reiju nodded and gestured to the table she’d gotten Luffy to help her drag out as she washed her hands quickly, “Lay him here.” Zoro did so and Reiju immediately began checking the man’s body, “Symptoms?”

                The dark haired man who Reiju knew to be named Johnny quickly explained, “He was fine a few days ago, then he went pale and started passing out! His teeth are falling out and he’s bleeding from old scars.”

                Reiju poked Yosaku’s lip up to examine his gums, which were bleeding, and nodded, “Just like Bones said. Scurvy. Nami could you pass me the lime juice?” Nami passed the small jug of lime juice Reiju had rushed to make while Zoro was rowing across to the rock to get Johnny and Yosaku off it. “Zoro, help me set him up, he could choke if we try to give him this lying down. Mr. Sunglasses, would you hold his legs? If he kicks me, patient or not, I will throw him overboard.”

                Zoro and Johnny quickly moved to do as she asked and a few moments of lime juice poured carefully down his throat later, Yosaku jolted back to life. He immediately tried to move only to find Zoro and Johnny holding him still quite firmly. Yosaku’s gaze was wild for a moment with disorientation, but it settled the instant Johnny’s presence and Reiju’s gentle smile registered with him, “Calm down, you’re going to be just fine.”

                Yosaku relaxed and then realized who was holding him upright, “BIG BRO ZORO!”

                Zoro grinned, “Long time no see Yosaku. Now say thank you to Reiju, you would’ve gotten hit with cannon fire if she hadn’t spotted you two. Our captain and gunner were about to use that rock you were on for target practice.”

                Johnny and Yosaku both went pale and bowed (just his head in Yosaku’s case, Zoro was still the only thing holding him upright), “Thank you very much Miss Reiju!”

                “I don’t know how we can ever thank you,” Johnny declared, “If it wasn’t for you guys, Yosaku would’ve died!”

                “We’re looking for the Sea Restaurant Baratie,” Reiju replied with a smile, “Think you can get us there?”

.

…Two Days Later…

.

                “The food is outstanding,” Koala mused, “But I hope your brother shows up soon Sabo. I know Bones said he would, and clearly the Boss understands waiting for a precise opportune moment, but we don’t need to stretch this out too long you know?”

                Sabo swallowed and nodded, a worried look on his face, “I know. Bones hasn’t been wrong yet though, and the Boss gave us two weeks for the stake out before we have to move. Even with the opportunity in question, we don’t need to leave it too long.”

                “I hate to intrude,” the blonde man in the suit declared smoothly as he gently set an ornate dish of ice cream in front of Koala, “But may I ask what you two are waiting for?”

                “Was wondering when you’d ask,” Koala quipped with a small grin, “A friend of ours told us some other friends of ours would be stopping here sometime soon, although he didn’t know exactly when. Funnily enough, the sure sign that we hadn’t missed them was you being here.”

                Sanji straightened up and tilted his head, “Why wouldn’t I be here? I live and work here.”

                “Two words handsome,” Koala replied with a grin as she took a bite, subtly savoring the way the blonde cook hung on her every word. “Delicious by the way,” she declared and then looked him dead in the eye, “All Blue.”

                Sanji flinched like she’d slapped him. “…How do you know about that?” he asked after a moment.

                “Our friend has a gift for knowing things he shouldn’t,” Koala replied, “Almost as much as he does for pissing people off, but that’s more because of the knowing things he shouldn’t thing. He’s the one who sent our other friends this way, but they had a few stops to make on the way and he doesn’t know the amount of time between stops, although he was able to give us an estimate.”

                “And by that estimate,” Sabo added, “Our friends should be here within a day or two. If he’s wrong, then that’s the first time I’ve seen him be wrong about the things he shouldn’t be able to know.”

                Sanji nodded in understanding before collecting the dirty dishes from the table, “Well, it’s clearly none of my business, so all I’ll say is to make sure it doesn’t bring any trouble to the restaurant.”

                “Trouble’s coming whether we’re here or not,” Sabo replied quietly, “We’re here to make sure you all survive it.”

                Sanji froze for a brief moment and then took a drag of his cigarette, “I see. As always Miss Koala, let me know if you need anything. You too I guess,” he added with a nod to Sabo. Then he turned and locked eyes with the cook in the door who was fervently beckoning him closer.

                He crossed the dining area in a few swift strides to ask, “What is it Patty?”

                Patty leaned in close to hiss, “Those two have a combined bounty of two hundred million beris. Look at the bounty posters, I’m sure it’s them! How can you keep letting them in here?! They knocked down an entire city!”

                Sanji inclined his head and muttered back, “If each of them is five times stronger than the strongest pirate in the East Blue, and together they’re strong enough to bring down an entire city, then I hardly think the restaurant would survive a fight with them. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that anyone who destroys the Baratie’s reputation by attempting to poison them will be stomped into chum and used to catch the evening special.”

                He locked eyes with Patty to make sure the pattisier understood how very much he meant the threat for a moment, before nodding, “Besides, they don’t plan to stay for more than another week at the most. Until then, their money’s just as good as anyone else’s, and they’re good tippers. That makes them customers, and the Baratie serves anyone who’s hungry. They’ve shown no animosity towards us or anyone else, and until they do, they remain our dear customers. Now why don’t you go see where the lady who just walked in would like to sit?”

.

…Almost An Hour Later…

.

                Sabo grimaced as Koala did her level best to shove his fingers backward with her thumbs and utterly crush the bones in his hand. They were the only thing available that she could be certain she wouldn’t destroy, but that didn’t make it any easier to be her personal stress ball. Bones had mentioned the possible arrival of a snobby food critic who matched the description of the fat lady across the restaurant…but he hadn’t mentioned how utterly vile the woman was.

                In the space of five minutes, the grossly overweight woman had managed to set every chef except Sanji into a rage with her loudly voiced dismissals of the restaurant. Even Sanji was showing signs of irritation, although in his case it was because the food critic was trying to leave without finishing her meal, which Koala and Sabo were both certain was delicious since over the course of the week they’d spent at the Baratie, they’d yet to have anything less than delicious. Unfortunately for Sabo’s hand, the person who was most upset was Koala.

                Sabo knew his partner well enough to read her expression. If he removed his hand from her grip, she wouldn’t have anything else stopping her from getting up and going to throw the fat woman into the sea…one bloody piece at a time. The brim of Koala’s hat was down over her eyes, but what was visible of her face was twisted into the most murderous snarl Sabo had seen on her since the last pack of slavers they’d busted.

                Does this fat BITCH have any idea what it’s like to be actually hungry?! Sabo could all but hear the ranting going on in Koala’s head as her fingers convulsed around his hand, What it’s like to not know if you’ll ever get to eat again? How much of a blessing it is to be able to eat as one pleases and be fed such amazing food?! She’s barely even touched it! I oughta tear that bitch’s tongue out and let Sanji feed it to her deep! Fucking! FRIED! The food here is amazing and the chefs put their heart and soul into making it! How DARE she just shit all over it and them like this?!

                Then the fat woman struck Sanji a deal, one more dish or she’d use her connections to do her level best to ruin the Baratie for not appeasing her. Sabo could see it in Koala’s eyes as her head snapped up: if the woman attempted to leave with the intent to make good on her threat, she’d be lucky to be swimming back to the restaurant within fifteen minutes of leaving. Koala was like a greased lightning bolt in the water, and she could demolish the hull of anything shy of a battleship just as easily.

                Sabo laid his other hand on top of hers and Koala jumped slightly, turning to meet his eyes and finding nothing but a calm message: Settle down, Sanji’s got this. Then he quirked a small grin at her, and if he somehow doesn’t, then I’ve got your back.

                Koala let out a little breath and smiled back at him before they both blushed crimson as the sweet little old couple two tables over commented to each other in hushed tones on how adorable they were.

.

…Meanwhile…

.

                Reiju drummed her fingers on the rail and let out a sharp breath, her eyes riveted to the horizon. She tilted her head as a faintly audible booooooooing! heralded Luffy’s arrival with a thud on the deck next to her.

                Luffy leaned into her line of view, “Reiju? You okay?”

                Reiju exhaled and smiled, “Of course Captain, I’m fine.”

                Luffy frowned, “Mmm…you’ve been really quiet since Johnny and Yosaku came aboard. Do you not like them?”

                Reiju shook her head, “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s…” she took a breath, “If you were about to see your brother again, how would you feel?”

                “Well excited of course!” Luffy declared, “Aren’t you excited?”

                Reiju nodded slowly, but her face twitched ever so slightly, “I am, but…I’m also very nervous. My other brothers are horrible and cruel. Our father made absolutely certain they could never be anything but monsters. Sanji was the only one who was ever kind. I…I haven’t seen him since I helped him escape that hell when we were kids. I’ve seen what our other brothers turned out like, I know Bones said Sanji has grown up to be a perfect gentleman, but…what if he’s wrong? My last hope would be…” she snapped her fingers with a strong sense of finality.

                Luffy was quiet for several moments and then, “So…why don’t we be your brothers?”

                Reiju heard the words, but as she turned to Luffy, blinking in confusion, she found they didn’t make sense. The words made sense individually, but strung altogether… “What?”

                “If you share a cup of sake then you can become brothers,” Luffy declared, “That’s how my brothers and I did it.”

                Reiju was quiet for a moment as her mind tried to process that, “What did your parents say about that?”

                “Haven’t got any,” Luffy replied, “And Sabo ran away from his because he hated them. Grandpa says Sabo’s his grandson just like me and Ace though, and Dadan and the others know Sabo and Ace and me are brothers. Who cares what anyone else thinks about it? We’re brothers, that’s all there is to it.”

                “I’ll second that,” Nami added as she walked up and propped against the rail, “My mother adopted my sister and me, that doesn’t make them any less my family.”

                Reiju found herself struck curiously dumb by the sentiment. ‘You can’t choose your family’, that was just common sense that she’d always known. The idea that she could…

                A small smile made its way onto her face as she found herself realizing that she quite liked that idea, “Thank you.”

.

…Half an Hour Later…

.

                Sabo breathed a sigh of relief as Koala finally settled down in wake of the fat food critic being humbled by Sanji’s dish. He leaned forward ever so slightly to shoot her a smile, “Feel better?”

                Koala let out a long sigh before grumbling, “She doesn’t deserve such good food…”

                “I know,” Sabo replied gently, “But if that was the equivalent of fighting with food, then Sanji kicked that fat bitch’s ass.”

                Koala smirked and stifled a little laugh, “Such language…who are you and what have you done with my sweet, well-mannered partner?”

                Sabo smiled, “Just tellin’ it like it is.”

                Before Koala could reply, everyone in the restaurant jumped as a loud crack followed by the sound of cannon fire erupted from outside. Sabo and Koala both snapped to their feet and looked out the window, instantly fully alert. Sabo sucked in an immediately enraged breath, “That’s Luffy’s ship.”

                Koala had just enough time to turn, “Sabo…!” Sabo was already out the door.

.

…Outside, Three Minutes Earlier…

.

                “Oh crap! It’s the Marines!” Usopp exclaimed loudly.

                “Mmhmm…right on schedule,” Reiju mused as her hand went to the pistol she’d gotten from Bones which now lived in a holster on her hip, “Luffy, they’re going to fire on us in a few minutes. Would you mind if I handle it?”

                Luffy looked at her in surprise, “Oh you want to?” He grinned, “Sure!”

                Reiju looked at Usopp, quickly taking a step over and leaning in a little closer to whisper, “If you tell them you’re the captain, they’ll try to shoot you.”

Usopp went ghostly pale, “Y-y-you think so?” Reiju nodded and Usopp immediately resolved not to tell Marines he was the captain.

                “Who’s the captain? Identify yourself at once!” a pink haired man in a suit shouted from the Marine ship.

                “I am! Monkey D. Luffy!” Luffy replied proudly. Usopp bit his tongue as Luffy declared that they had only made their flag two days earlier.

                The marine smirked, “You did, did you?” Then his gaze slid over to Johnny and Yosaku, “Hey, you two! I’ve seen you before. You’re that bounty hunter duo that only goes after small fish right?” Johnny and Yosaku were immediately incensed as the Marine rolled on, “So you’ve finally gone and gotten yourself captured by pirates huh? Well that’s a laugh.”

                As Johnny started to protest a lovely blonde woman in a red dress with her hair done up stepped out from behind the Marine, “Hey, come on baby, let’s get going.” Johnny’s protest was completely ignored as the Marine and his date walked toward the lifeboat on the other side of the ship.

                It seemed for a moment as though a confrontation might be avoided. Then the Marine looked at his subordinates, “They’re an eyesore.” He extended a thumbs down, “Sink ‘em.”

                Less than three minutes later, a cannon was loaded and being aimed at the Going Merry as the Marine and his date were lowered to the water in the lifeboat. Reiju casually drew her pistol, sighted, and shot down the barrel of the cannon, detonating the cannonball inside it. Reiju tuned out the praise from her crewmates as her eyes sought to pick out any attempts to reload the cannon or prepare another one to fire.

                Then, quite without warning, the entire front half of the Marine ship for lack of a better term, disintegrated. In an instant, what had been a proud, seaworthy vessel became a mass of shattering wood and flying splinters as someone shouted, “THINK YOU CAN FIRE ON MY LITTLE BROTHER HUH?!”

                Reiju holstered her gun in surprise, hers being the only jaw to not hit the deck in awe at such destruction. A moment later a dark shape flipped through the air from near the shattered ship’s prow and landed on the deck, “LUFFY?! You okay?!”

                “SABO!” Luffy exclaimed as he wrapped the blonde man with the top hat in a hug that bore an interesting similarity to an octopus attack on his head.

                Reiju tilted her head in curiosity, He wasn’t supposed to be here… then something else occurred to her, Wait, wasn’t he running around with Bones?! Her gaze snapped to the restaurant as her eyes went wide, Is Bones here?!

                Sabo managed to extract his head from Luffy’s embrace, still grinning, “It’s been a long time huh?!”

                Luffy nodded, still clinging very tightly to his brother, “Uh-huh…”

                Sabo patted him on the head, “Well, why don’t you introduce me to your crew? Then we’ll go inside and get something to eat. I’m sure Sanji can whip up something amazing for the occasion.”

                Reiju’s heart skipped a beat and then without really knowing what she was doing, she shot past Luffy and Sabo, stooping and catching Luffy’s foot on the way past, “Luffy! Slingshot! Straight through the front door!”

                Luffy looked up as he felt Reiju drag his foot all the way to the mast as she ran halfway up it. A grin spread across his face, “Oookay! GUM-GUUUM…SLINGSHOT!” Reiju shot across the deck, the logical half of her mind finally catching up to warn her that Luffy usually had terrible aim.

                The logical part in question had a split second to breathe a sigh of relief as she did not crash into the ship’s railing and instead found herself going right where she’d asked. She hit the deck of the Baratie like a bag of rocks and rolled through the door. She rolled to her feet and found every eye in the restaurant on her as she looked around wildly.

                A beefy man with massive forearms and a white cloth twisted around his head like a rope came over, “Hey Sanji what the he-…you’re not Sanji.”

                Reiju’s heart skipped and stuttered at the words and then a loud crash drew her attention to the door of the kitchen. She turned and found Sanji standing in the doorway, so stunned he’d actually dropped two plates, “REIJU?!”

                “SANJI!” She wasted no time in veritably shooting across the restaurant to wrap her baby brother in a hug so tight Sanji felt his ribs start to creak.

                “Reiju…” Sanji squeaked, finding he couldn’t muster enough air to tell her she was hugging him too tight.

                “Sanji…” Reiju sobbed, half out of joy at having finally been reunited with him and half out of discovering that despite all of their father’s efforts to change the fact, yes, her heart did still work.

                “OWNER ZEEEEEEFF!!!” Patty howled as he took off towards the stairs like a cat with its tail on fire.

                Through it all, Koala had a snail camera taking shot after shot from her table with a big grin. You were right Bones, she mused, This was worth all the trouble. Now if only I’d been able to get Sabo and Luffy too… she shrugged, Oh well.

.

…Meanwhile…

.

                Sabo watched the space where Reiju had landed for a moment, “So that was Sanji’s sister huh? Bones was right, the resemblance is uncanny.”

                “So her brother is here?” Zoro asked.

                Sabo nodded, “Yep, great guy. Little too fond of the ladies to the detriment of the guys perhaps, but a good guy nevertheless. Judging by Bones’ description, I’m going to guess you’re Zoro?”

                Zoro blinked and then nodded, “That’s right. So you know this Bones character too huh?”

                “Does he really know the future?” Usopp asked curiously.

                “He does,” Nami answered before Sabo could.

                “You know him too?” Sabo asked in surprise.

                Nami shook her head, “No, but I’m…I’m going to trust Reiju. If she says he told her the future, then I’ll believe it.”

                Sabo looked at her for a second and then nodded, “He said you’d like what was coming if you knew about it. That’s part of why I’m here. The other part of course, is still wrapped around my head,” he added with a grin as he gestured to Luffy before looking at him, “Are you going to let go?”

                “NO.” Luffy declared fervently.

                Sabo sighed with a small smile, “Well I guess that’s fine too. It’s very nice to meet all of you, I’m Luffy’s brother Sabo. Thank you for taking care of him for me.”

                “Oh no problem,” Zoro, Nami and Usopp replied.

                Sabo grinned, “Well, shall we step inside? If Reiju’s let go of Sanji yet, then I’m sure something good’s cooking.”

                “Hang on,” Zoro protested, “This Bones guy. What’s his deal? Reiju saved me from starving, I want to know if I need to be on my guard if that guy shows up.”

                Sabo blinked and then smiled, “Oh don’t worry. Bones is a mystery guy at first, and really good at pissing certain people off, but it doesn’t take long to get to know him. He’d never let anything happen to his friends, even if they don’t know they’re his friends yet.”

                Usopp tilted his head, “How’s that work? How can they be his friends if they don’t know they’re his friends?”

                Sabo shrugged, “He can see the future. He knows his friends.”

                “I’m still having a hard time believing that,” Usopp muttered, “I know I tell some pretty tall tales, but this is pretty hard to believe.”

                Nami laid a hand on Usopp’s shoulder, “Usopp…” Usopp turned and found a very frightful expression on Nami’s face, “Bones. Is telling. The truth. About the future. Got it?”

                Usopp shrank away from Nami’s glare, “Um, sure, sure…uh whatever you say Nami…”

                “Something on your mind Nami?” Luffy asked curiously, “You sure seem worked up all of a sudden.”

                Sabo patted Luffy’s shin, which was currently across his chest, “Don’t worry Luffy, it’s part of why Bones sent me to meet you here instead of in Loguetown. We’ll sort it out.”

                Nami’s heart leapt into her throat, So…this Bones guy is trying to help me too?!

.

…Inside…

.

                “YOU!” the marine lieutenant who’d ordered the Going Merry sunk only to have his own ship sunk roared as he erupted through the swinging double doors of the Baratie with an incriminating finger pointed straight at Reiju, “You’re one of those pirates aren’t you?! Surrender yourself at once!”

                Then he felt a horrible chill dread work its way down his spine as a pair of meaty smacks and resounding thuds rang out from behind him. A voice he had become accustomed to hearing in his brig growled out, “Hey Fullbody…”

                The now named Fullbody had just enough time to turn as the waterlogged pirate laid a stolen pistol to his head and pulled the trigger. Fullbody dropped like a box of rocks and the pirate spat, “FUCK YOU.” The customers of the Baratie almost unanimously leapt from their chairs in shock and horror at the blatant murder in the doorway.

                Sanji maintained a forced calm as he called, “Welcome to the Baratie, will you be dining in or ordering take out?”

                The pirate, a sickly thin looking man in grey with dark bags under his eyes, knelt and extracted Fullbody’s wallet from the fallen man’s pocket. He raised the wallet, “Whatever this’ll get me. I haven’t eaten anything in over a week.”

                Sanji nodded, “Alright, please pull up a seat ah…” Sanji looked around for a place to seat the murderous pirate that wouldn’t disturb the other guests too much.

                Then Koala stood up and waved, “Giiin! Over here! You can sit with us! Reiju! You too!”

                Sanji, Gin, Reiju, everybody blinked in confusion and then the pirate, Gin, smiled broadly, “Well if you insist.”

                Sanji jumped slightly as someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Sabo, still with Luffy wrapped around his head and everyone else who’d been aboard the Going Merry behind them, “We’ll need a few more menus when you have a moment. We’re having a party.”

.

…Elsewhere…

.

                Yamato woke up with a groan, “Ahhh…fuck my he-ead…” She reached up and laid one hand to the base of her horn which felt like it was trying to turn itself inside out. “How much did we drink? Shit, what day is it?”

                She looked around and saw her vest hanging on the little hook Bones had made for her to hang it on and grinned faintly to herself. Still such a cool vest… The vest in question was black leather lined with white fur and had the words “World Tour” stitched across the shoulder blades. She’d picked it up on Park Island and it had gone on to spur the government to make “World Tour” her epithet, which she’d absolutely loved as it summed up her greatest dream perfectly.

                Then she frowned as she realized the clothes she was pretty sure she remembered wearing when they’d started drinking were strewn about the room. She blinked and strained her mind, trying to remember what had happened during the blank stretch between her last memory and waking up. She moved her leg to start trying to sit up and felt fabric brush across her bare skin, a blanket?

                She picked her hand up off her head and blinked as what was on her hand registered, What’s with this glove? She rubbed her fingers together, Is that silk? What am I…

                She picked her head up and looked down, her eyes going wide and her heartbeat going wild as she realized exactly what she was wearing…

.

…A wedding dress.

.

                Oh god! Oh fuck! Oh shit! All these and many more profanities shot through her mind in rapid succession as Yamato redoubled her efforts to remember what had happened while she was drunk. She went to sit up and felt a weight across her torso. Her heart stopped in shock as she saw what the weight was: Bones, in the top half of a tux… only the top half, and his bottom half was… Yamato felt her entire face turn neon red as the blush erupted across it like a volcano.

                Oh shit! Oh SHIT! OH! SHIT! Oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-shit!!!

Chapter 7: Chapter 6

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…

…May 27^th, East Blue, Baratie…

…

                The bright and festive mood of the small party at the Baratie vanished as the topic of conversation turned to the Krieg Pirate Armada’s recent foray into the Grand Line. Even the sunlight streaming in through the windows seemed to dim as the Krieg Pirates’ second in command seemed to shrink in on himself. All eyes were on him as he began, even the normally unquenchably sunny Luffy stopped eating and was silent as the broken man spoke.

                “It was all going so well until the seventh day, calm seas, a gentle breeze, the sun shining down, it was perfect, beautiful sailing weather…” Gin explained, although his face spoke volumes of the horrors that came on the seventh day as he gripped his rum tight, “Then the lookout spotted something. He said it was a coffin on the water, with a big cross sticking up out of it. I got out my spyglass to look, thinking the man was drunk or seeing things.”

                Gin shook his head, his eyes a thousand miles away, “No, he wasn’t drunk. There was a coffin, floating on the waves, just as casual as you please, and a great big cross sticking up out of it. Riding on top of it on I swear to god a throne, was a man in a black cape. He had this hat, it was a real fancy hat,” Gin gestured with his hands to indicate the size of the hat in question, “And…I didn’t know why at the time, but…my instincts just suddenly started screaming at me…” He looked up and gave Zoro an utterly haunted look as he whispered, “…run.”

                “He was just floating along, I could’ve sworn he was asleep, but nobody’d be crazy enough to just go sailing on a coffin in the Grand Line right? Then BOOM!” Gin exclaimed, “A shot’s fired from the ship on our left.”

                Gin paused for a moment, taking a drink to steel his nerves against the horrors flashing behind his eyes. Even with the liquid courage in him, he set the bottle down looking like he might be sick, “If I ever find the man who fired that cannon, he’ll wish he hadn’t survived, because he’d have to have been the only man aboard that ship who did.”

                “What happened?” Usopp asked, clearly very invested in the story and very, very spooked.

                “The man on the coffin woke up when the shot splashed into the water next to him,” Gin replied, “And then he reached back behind him and we realized…that wasn’t a throne behind him. It was the hilt of his sword. Massive thing, real fancy, must’ve been worth fifty, a hundred million beris…but that blade…” he shuddered at the memory, “it was as black as pitch, and as long as a man is tall. This guy though, he’s just casually drawing it with one hand…He picked it up straight over his head, I swear he never even looked up, and when he brought it down…”

                He looked around for some kind of visual aid and then settled for clasping his hands together, fingers pointed at Luffy, “Imagine this is the bow of the ship that fired on him, big ship, really sturdy, seen half a dozen battles with the Navy and still strong. When he brought that sword down…” Gin let his hands fall to the table palms up, “The ship split like a melon. From the bow to the stern, just as clean as if you’d dropped a giant guillotine through it! Even the mast was split clean in two! Just, just…crash! All of a sudden men were screaming and drowning, someone tried to fire on him again and he just casually swung that sword again like waving a twig! Boom! The cannonball exploded midair without ever getting close to him!”

                “Then…then he stood up…” Gin whispered as he started shaking, “The Don ordered us to flee…I can still hear our men screaming and our ships splitting apart…I…I know we should’ve tried to help them, but…what could we do? He…that…that thing… there’s no way he was even human! You, you can’t just split ships like firewood with a sword! It was black magic, it had to have been…I…you may not believe me, but I do believe it was the Devil himself…come to collect our damned pirate souls…”

                He looked each of the young folk at the table in the eye, “Please, I know I’ve no right to say this to you young kids who are so full of dreams, but don’t go to the Grand Line! The Devil’s there waiting for you!”

                Silence reigned for a few moments and then Reiju sighed, “No, not the devil. Just a man.”

                Everyone, especially Gin, stared at her in shock. “…What?” Gin asked.

                “Specifically, the World’s Strongest Swordsman,” Reiju explained, “Hawkeye Mihawk, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea. Don’t feel bad, he’s one of the strongest fighters in the world, including the ones who aren’t human.”

                “That was…Hawkeye Mihawk?” Zoro asked, sweat suddenly breaking out across his forehead.

                Reiju nodded, “According to Bones, that’s who that was.”

                Gin sat forward, “Um, Miss, I’m not trying to be rude, who’s Bones and what the hell has he got to do with it?”

                Reiju smiled sympathetically, or maybe pityingly, it was hard to tell with her sometimes, “Bones is an oracle who I have yet to see a wrong prediction from except for the ones that he or I personally made go differently. If he says Hawkeye Mihawk did it, and judging from your description which sounds exactly like Hawkeye Mihawk confirming it, then you can bet money that it was Hawkeye Mihawk. I have a picture of Mihawk if you’d like to check.”

                She rifled through the papers she now kept close to her chest at all times before extracting the page she was looking for, “Here you go. Is this the man you saw?” She slid it across the table and Gin looked like he’d seen a ghost as he took in the figure burned into his memory recaptured in sharp jagged lines of crosshatch.

                Spotting the disbelief in Gin’s eyes, she smiled and pulled out a different page, “Oh, perhaps this will help convince you that strength beyond your imagining exists in this world.”

                She handed the paper across to Gin who accepted it and upon unfurling it went ghostly pale before looking across at Reiju, “This can’t be real.”

                Koala leaned over to look at it, “Nah, I got my bounty the same day. Same incident. Yeah he just, ya know, casually knocks down buildings and shrugs off bullets like they’re not there.” As Gin looked at her in horror, Koala shot a teasing grin at Reiju, “The real question though is why did you have that in your boobs?”

                Reiju’s face was a study in neutrality as she replied with a polite smile, “Why, where else would I keep important papers? If he had been duping me, I’d have wanted to remember his face to kill him.”

                Sabo and Koala snorted in unison trying to restrain a laugh. Reiju frowned, “What’s so funny? Bones thought I could kill him.”

                Sabo smirked, “We’re not laughing at that Miss Reiju, what’s funny is that you think Bones has a dishonest bone in his entire body.”

                Reiju did blush ever so slightly at that and noticed Sanji paying razor sharp attention, so she explained, “Sanji, if someone told you Marines were going to salute pirates, would you believe anything else they said?”

                Sanji snorted, “You’re kidding right? There’s no way they’d do that!”

                Zoro and Luffy swapped a glance and smirk which was not lost on anyone else. “Wait, wait, wait,” Usopp protested, “You mean that actually happened?!”

                “Yeah,” Luffy declared with a grin, “Coby and all the other guys at Shellstown did after me an’ Zoro beat up their boss and his son!”

                “They had it comin’,” Zoro explained.

                Zeff snorted with a smile, “Far from the strangest thing I’ve seen. Just out of curiosity though, where did you say that was?”

                “Shellstown,” Reiju replied, “Captain Axe-Hand Morgan. Zoro carved him up like a turkey when he tried to get a cheap shot in on Luffy.”

                Gin sat forward in shock, “You guys took down Axe Hand Morgan on his own turf?!”

                Luffy nodded and then paused with a frown, “Is that bad?”

                “That’s incredible!” Gin declared, “Shellstown is a fortress and Axe Hand Morgan’s an absolute terror! Even the Don didn’t tread in his waters! Did you two really…wait a minute,” he went slightly pale, “Zoro? As in Roronoa Zoro, the Pirate Hunter?!”

                Zoro looked at him, “Yeah, that’s me.”

                Gin leaned over to Koala and stage whispered, “We’re sitting with some very scary people.”

                Koala stage whispered back with a smirk, “I’m from the Grand Line, I’ve got a hundred million beri bounty, and I can take down entire pirate crews by myself. I am very scary people.”

                Gin leaned away from her with a look of shock and then a weak little laugh escaped him as he wilted in his seat, “I… I wanna go home now…”

                “But why?” Luffy asked with a quizzical tilt of his head, “The party’s just getting started. Is it because we don’t have music?”

                Nami sighed, “There you go again, I told you Luffy, we need a cook before we get a musician! A musician won’t join if we can’t feed him!”

                Sanji pulled a guitar from seemingly thin air and strummed a chord, “Music?”

                Luffy looked liable to explode from excitement as Nami blushed. Sabo and Koala on the other hand were trying hard to contain their laughter at Sanji’s instantaneous response to Nami’s words. Zeff just sighed with a fond smile and shot a glance at the young pirates, “So you’re needing a cook and a musician? Well then, since you’ve already got his sister with you, have the eggplant too.”

                Sanji’s mood switched from ‘people pleaser’ to ‘enraged argument’ in an instant, “EXCUSE ME?! I TOLD YOU YA SHITTY GEEZER, I’LL BE HERE UNTIL LONG AFTER YOU’RE GONE! YOU’RE NOT GETTING RID OF ME THAT EASY!”

                Reiju huffed quietly between them and considered the argument that had erupted to life between her baby brother and the man who was very clearly his adopted father. Then she placed a hand on each of their shoulders, “Sanji? Chef? Can I have a word with you two in private? You two need to know about something.”

                Sanji and Zeff swapped a glance and then nodded in agreement before getting to their feet. Reiju rose and then paused, shooting a glance at Luffy. After a moment of thought, she extended her hand over her plate. A vicious looking magenta liquid fell out of her palm and covered her food, “Luffy, that’s poison. I’m the only person who can eat that now. If you eat my food while I’m gone, you’ll go blind, you won’t be able to eat for three days, and your manhood will shrivel up and fall off.”

                Reiju smirked as Luffy immediately covered the body part in question with a look of horror on his face. Now certain that her food would still be there when she got back, she turned, “We’ll be back soon.”

.

…Meanwhile, In The Grand Line…

.

                “Captain Isuka reporting as ordered ma’am!” The beautiful young red haired woman declared as she stepped into the Commodore’s office. Her ship had been assigned to patrol alongside a minor detachment from an infamous anti-Devil Fruit user task force headed up by a semi-retired Admiral. The Commodore was one of his three seconds-in-command.

                “Oh good you’re here,” the Commodore noted as she looked over the top of the stack of papers in her hand, “Have a seat.”

                Isuka took a seat, immensely nervous. The woman at the desk wasn’t much older than her, but the fact that she was a Commodore in charge of one third of such an infamous task force and a well known Devil Fruit User in her own right was more than a smidge intimidating. If one weren’t aware of her standing, they might mistake the well dressed, midnight blue haired beauty with disorienting maroon eyes for the secretarial assistant of some big wig. Such underestimation would quickly prove lethal.

                “Says here that you had multiple run-ins with the pirate “Fire Fist” Ace, now Second Division Commander of the Whitebeards,” the Commodore declared, “And that you were even present alongside Vice Admiral Draw when he was offered a seat among the Seven Warlords, a nomination which you independently backed, apparently unaware that the same nomination had been put forth by Vice Admiral Garp. Is all that correct?”

                Isuka felt a very unpleasant chill run down her back, “Yes ma’am, that’s correct.”

                “Says here that you and he are on amicable terms?” Isuka tensed with worry as the Commodore looked over the top of the report in her hands.

                “Ace…may be a pirate, but I do not believe him to be malicious,” Isuka declared cautiously, “He is simply one who doesn’t live within the law, not someone who seeks to harm others. If left alone, I truly believe him to be rather harmless.”

                “Harmless isn’t a word that springs to mind easily in regards to a Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates,” the Commodore noted with a raised eyebrow.

                “Well, certainly he’s strong, frightfully so really!” Isuka replied, scrabbling to not make a fool, or worse a sympathizer of herself. She’d managed to avoid that so far in the few years since she’d met the man, but if it was being brought up now by a superior officer… “In a fight he’s terrifying! I just meant that he doesn’t actively go seeking to cause destruction! With a power like the Flame-flame fruit he could easily burn down anything in his path, but he doesn’t, he wouldn’t. He’s just a goofball looking for a place to call home! I…wish it hadn’t been with Whitebeard, but I still stand by what I said. Ace would’ve made a fine Warlord! If the Vice Admiral Garp agrees then clearly I’m not wrong to think so, right?!”

                Isuka was downright scared now, she’d let a lot more slip than she’d intended and now the Commodore was sitting forward, her fingers steepled across her desk as she gave her a steady look. Isuka felt like a mouse staring down a snake and her instincts were screaming for her to draw her weapon. Then the Commodore smirked, “The Vice Admiral Garp might have his opinion skewed a bit by Fire Fist Ace being his grandson.”

                Isuka’s expression went slack as half of her reeled in shock at the revelation and the other half in horror at the implications. The Commodore let her stew in discomfort for a moment and then lifted a hand to still the storm of terror in Isuka’s mind, “At ease, you’re not in trouble.”

                Isuka’s mind screeched to a halt, “Huh?”

                The Commodore smiled, “The Whitebeards are generally harmless unless provoked, that’s why the Navy doesn’t do more to stomp them out. As long as they stay on their side of the Red Line, the Navy doesn’t worry about them. We do however have certain operations in place to keep an eye on them and the other Emperors, along with any other pirates we can keep an eye on. The reason I asked you here today is to see if you’d be interested in assisting in one of those operations. Your connection to Fire Fist Ace is the reason I’m asking.”

                Isuka felt something like a chunk of ice settle in her gut, “You…want me to spy on Ace?”

                The Commodore tilted her head, closed her eyes for a moment and frowned, “Mmm… ‘Spy’ is such an ugly word…think of it as a chance to gather vital information. The Navy has a question and we think that Fire Fist Ace might have an answer.”

                Isuka thought for a moment, “What sort of question?”

                The Commodore pulled out four Wanted Posters and slid them across the desk to Isuka. Isuka’s eyebrows went up as the saw that two were worth a hundred million beris and the other two worth double that. “I’ve, not heard of these four. What did they do to rise to such infamy so quickly?”

                The Commodore tapped the picture of the woman worth two hundred million, “This is the daughter of Kaido. You heard about his rampage a few weeks ago? Her disappearance is what set him off. She resurfaced a few days later in the East Blue. We want to know how.”

                Isuka took a moment to wrap her mind around that and then nodded, “I see. What does it have to do with Ace though?”

                “We learned from Vice Admiral Garp that this man,” the Commodore tapped the man worth one hundred million, “Is Ace’s adoptive brother Sabo. These four here all earned their bounties in the same incident, although Kaido’s daughter and Whitebeard Jr. had their bounties doubled a few days ago due to an incident which according to witnesses, Sabo and Outback were not present for.”

                “Through Donquixote Doflamingo, who attempted to calm Kaido down,” the Commodore continued, “We learned that Ace is also friends with Kaido’s daughter. Between that connection and her running with this apparent Whitebeard Jr., we suspect that the Whitebeards, especially Fire Fist Ace, may know something.”

                “So you want me to ask him?” Isuka reasoned cautiously, “I don’t have any way to contact him.”

                The Commodore nodded, “That’s correct and perfectly fine. You’ll be accompanying me on my next rendezvous with my contacts, which has been moved up due to recent events, one of whom will be bringing Ace since everyone has drawn the same conclusion. While we’re there, you will ask Ace about this Whitebeard Jr. and Kaido’s daughter. As long as you do that, whatever else you do with the evening is your own business, if you accept the mission.”

                Isuka blushed slightly, “Um…I’m…afraid I don’t quite understand Commodore? I mean, of course I’ll take the mission, this is clearly important, but…I feel like I’m missing something…”

                The Commodore laughed lightly, “Yeah, you missed the bit about needing to borrow a cute dress from me. Don’t worry, my contacts know to make sure Ace looks his best too.”

                Isuka’s stammering denials as that sunk in a second later were completely undermined by the fact that she was blushing the same color as her hair. The Commodore got to her feet, “Well come on, let’s start getting you an outfit picked out, and I’ll get on with the briefing.”

                Isuka’s years of military discipline were all that dragged her to her feet, “A-aye Commodore…”

                The Commodore smirked over her shoulder, “And Isuka? Call me Ain.”

.

…At the Baratie…

.

                Reiju sat down in one of the chairs in Zeff’s office after pulling a small table over and set the rest of the papers containing Bones’ predictions on the table and gently spread them out, “These are the single most important possession I have right now. The intel recorded here has already allowed the wholesale decimation of a pirate crew with a twenty to one numerical superiority. I fully expect them to continue to prove that useful.”

                “Oh? Something you got from that oracle of yours?” Zeff asked curiously as he and Sanji sat down across from her.

                Reiju nodded, “The future and some important bits of the past. Sanji, Bones told me that you had grown up to be a fine man who would never leave a woman in peril and do anything in your power to help. Is that correct?”

                “Of course it is!” Sanji and Zeff chorused.

                Reiju nodded and exhaled before flipping through the pages to find the one she was looking for. She looked Sanji square in the eye, “You can not tell Nami you know about this. Bones said you’ve got some kind of latent fire abilities tied to your emotional state. You burn this page and I’ll bury my foot so far up your ass you’ll taste the boot leather.”

                Sanji blinked and then nodded, “I don’t know about fire abilities, but I’ll certainly be careful.” He immediately took out his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ash tray before reading.

.

…

.

Sanji,

                I hope this letter’s finding you well. If so, then it means my directions were correct and Reiju has found her way to you. I sincerely hope your reunion is a happy one and in the event you two wish to depart from the course of events I’ve foreseen, I wish you both nothing but the best. If you are a real man though, then I am certain that after reading this you will be heading for the Conomi Islands with shark fin soup on the brain.

                The young lady accompanying the Strawhat Pirates, who should be the ones who brought Reiju to you, is as I’m sure you’ve already learned, named Nami. Somewhere between strawberry blonde and red hair, beautiful, brilliant navigator, meteorologist, thief and accountant, I’m sure you’ve made her acquaintance by now if you’re reading this.

                NAMI IS IN GRAVE DANGER.

                Her hometown, Cocoyashi Village in the Conomi Islands was invaded by the Arlong Pirates something around ten years ago, and has been subject to a tyrannical occupation ever since. The people are taxed 50,000 beris a year for every child and 100,000 for every adult. If they do not or cannot pay, they are executed.

                The first collection was the day the Arlong Pirates invaded, and at the time, Nami’s mother only had 100,000 beris. Nami and her sister Nojiko’s lives were bought with that 100,000 beris, but their mother was murdered right in front of them. Afterwards, Arlong’s henchmen found one of Nami’s maps and forcibly recruited her into their crew.

                Arlong struck Nami a deal to keep her working for him, 100,000,000 beris and she could buy her village’s freedom. ARLONG WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN.

                He has Marine Captain Nezumi on his payroll to keep his activities quiet. Since Nami is carrying the last of the 100,000,000 beris needed to save her village with her now, Nezumi will very soon lead his men to raid Nami and her sister’s farm, ransack the entire place and steal every bit of the money Nami has been working her ass off and risking her life to accumulate.

                When this happens, the townsfolk, who are aware of what Nami’s been doing even though she’s tried to keep it secret, will decide that they have no choice remaining except to try one final, poorly armed revolt against the Fishmen. If they do this, they will be slaughtered wholesale, and Nami will likely kill herself out of grief afterwards.

                If you wish to save her, go with the Strawhats and show Arlong and his crew what happens to worthless scum who would murder a child’s mother right in front of them. You’re a seafood specialist, MAKE A BUFFET OUT OF THOSE BOTTOMFEEDERS!

                Regarding your new allies:

                The captain, Luffy, is an idiot, but he’s a virtually UNSTOPPABLE idiot who would upend the entire world without a second thought for his friends. He’s also a bottomless pit who eats faster than you can cook. Go on, TRY HIM.

                The green haired swordsman Zoro will never treat a woman any different than a man because his first love was also his strongest rival, the one person he could never beat, and her greatest regret prior to her death was that since she was a girl she would never be equal to a man in combat. Zoro told her that was bullshit, they agreed to shoot for the top together, and the very next day… she died, leaving him her sword and her dream of being the world’s greatest swordsman. Do NOT bring this up with Zoro, and DO NOT tell him I told you. I shouldn’t have told you, but I’m hoping to keep you two from butting heads so much because working together you’ll be unstoppable. He is extremely loyal to his friends, but if Nami tries to rile him up, she WILL succeed. You may need to step in if that happens, but I hope that the rest of what I’ve written in these pages will help you avoid what’s written in them.

                The long nose, Usopp, is a master sniper. He’s a coward, but he’s also extremely clever, highly versatile, and surprisingly capable. He may seem like an unreliable wuss, but when it’s do or die time, he’ll power through and pull off an upset.

                Reiju has my notes detailing every threat I have foreseen, the most imminent of which is the remnants of the Krieg Pirate Armada who are currently starving following a disastrous excursion into the Grand Line. Gin will lead them to the Baratie to save his crews’ lives. Once they are fed, Don Krieg will order them to storm and steal the Baratie to begin rebuilding his fleet. Gin is nothing like above taking hostages, make sure Chef Zeff doesn’t lose track of him should this battle occur. He is strong and skilled enough to fight you and wields a pair of heavily weighted steel tonfas. From what I’ve seen of Reiju though, she’ll probably just put a bullet in Krieg’s eye the instant he starts making threats and head this whole thing off quite promptly.

                Make sure you don’t leave too soon, Hawkeye Mihawk is hot on the Krieg Pirates’ trail, Zoro will need to fight him. He’ll lose, badly, but for the sake of his dream he needs to take this step and get the measure of the World’s Greatest Swordsman. If you’re already not getting along with him, then don’t do it for him, do it for the little girl whose dream he’s trying to fulfill.

                If you need any further motivation to join, I’m sure you don’t but here’s the icing on the cake: the Strawhats’ path will lead them to Fishman Island, home of mermaids and more importantly the MERMAID PRINCESS Shirahoshi who is every bit as beautiful as you’ve dreamed of. There is also an extremely high chance that their path will lead to the Kingdom of Dressrosa, where the beautiful princess Viola lives. She possesses the power to read minds and will find herself quite taken with a man as honest as yourself. See attached sketches for what she and Princess Shirahoshi look like. It will be worth every bit of hardship you encounter on the way because my crappy drawing CANNOT do those two justice.

.

…

.

                Sanji read the letter, read it again. He took a deep breath and looked up at Reiju, “You say this guy’s been on the money about everything so far?”

                Reiju nodded, “Everything. The only things that went different were the things he or I made go differently. I guess you want the pictures now?”

                Sanji nodded, “I’m convinced. If what he’s written about what happened to Nami is true, then there’s no way I can just sit here. I can tell you wouldn’t be content to either even if I could, so yeah, I’m in. Chalk another one up for this oracle of yours, he knew exactly what to say. I would still like to see those pictures though.”

                Reiju breathed a little sigh of relief at the confirmation of Sanji’s still inherently good nature and handed over the page with pictures of the two princesses, “I can’t vouch for the mermaid princess, but I’ve met Viola and she does look like that. Better in person of course, although judging from your expression Bones’s rendering is good enough.”

                Sanji’s eyes had turned into pulsing pink hearts and were fairly glued to the two beauties on the page before him. Bones may not have thought much of his artistic abilities, but he had managed to do a fine job of crafting likenesses of the women in question.

                Zeff snorted with a small nod as he looked over Sanji’s shoulder, Bones’s account of the Strawhats’ time at the Baratie in his hands, “Remember to use protection Eggplant. When you get done ogling those two, go pack. I’ll consider this your two week’s notice. Give that saw faced bastard a few good kicks for me.”

                Sanji looked up to reflexively snap at the older chef and then bit his tongue and just nodded.

                Unnoticed by either of them, the last little bits of worry about how Sanji had turned out fell off Reiju’s shoulders like water off a duck’s back. If she’d had even slightly worse self control, she wondered if she might have actually teared up a bit at the confirmation that her baby brother had turned out alright after all.

.

…Elsewhere…

.

                Bones snapped awake as the big comfy pillow he was laying on jerked beneath him. Rising to his hands and knees immediately, he realized that it was not a pillow, it was Yamato, who was looking at him on the verge of utter panic. She was also, he noticed, wearing an extremely fetching white dress with the fabric open to the bottom of her breasts and thin enough that it left little about them to the imagination before clinging just as snugly to her waist. She was also wearing white gloves that covered her arms nearly to her shoulders. Her hair was down and with the breathless blush on her face…

                Fuck she’s beautiful… Then Bones noticed the wispy thin white fabric just barely visible splayed out behind her head. …wait a minute…is that a wedding dress? What did… Then the events of the past few days came back to him, Oh yeah! Well at least that explains the dress! But why does she look so freaked out? Surely she wasn’t THAT drunk…

                Bones sat up on his heels and looked down, only now noticing his distinct lack of pants and the fact that he was situated quite evenly between Yamato’s nicely stockinged legs, “Ah. I see your concern.”

                “MY CONCERN?!” Yamato demanded, “BONES WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO?!”

                Huh, she WAS that drunk, Bones mused to himself before answering, “We went on a week long bender. We went to the beach where we sat, drank and made merry beneath the early summer sun. We realized we’d had our boat stolen with all our belongings still on it when we saw it headed for the horizon. After that, we had to go get clothes so we wouldn’t be reclaiming our boat and belongings in our bathing suits and the only store open was a wedding tailor. After that, we went and got our boat back. We broke an entire island, decimated a pirate armada that got in our way, and did it all while looking utterly fabulous in the process,” Bones explained, “And yes, I stopped drinking two days in when I realized we’d been robbed. I honestly thought you had sobered up a few days ago too.”

                “S-so, while I was drunk…you were sober…and, and we…” Yamato’s face went pale at the implications.

                “We still have our underwear on Yama-chan,” Bones declared firmly with a raised hand. Yamato’s impending panic attack pulled up short and Bones nodded, “I stopped drinking expressly so that I wouldn’t wind up making love to you while we were drunk.”

                “Wha-…?! Why?! Am I not good enough for you or something?!”

                Bones suddenly surged forward to place his eyes only a few inches from hers, “Do. Not. Put words. In my mouth.”

                He drew back slightly and smiled, “I didn’t want our first time to be one we wouldn’t remember. If we do wind up making love, I want us both to be sober while we do so that we’ll be able to remember every second of it, and don’t you ever think, not even for one second, that I wouldn’t gleefully make love to you at the drop of a hat.”

                Yamato found her breath coming very short and fast with her heart hammering all of a sudden, “…why?”

                Bones sat back on his heels again, “Why? Why not? You’re pretty freakin’ amazing Yama-chan. Seriously, do you have any idea how attractive you are? I think anybody with a pulse would be attracted to you, and even at least one guy without a pulse.”

                “But…but I’m a man, aren’t men not supposed to be attracted to each other?!” Yamato protested.

                Bones smiled, “Yes, you choose to identify as male, but you still have this utterly magnificent body and as I said, I think anybody regardless of their leanings would be attracted to you. If you wanted to, you could out-macho entire countries worth of men, and I seriously doubt any woman you decided to seduce would be able to resist your charms. That said, even if there were some law that said I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to you, I’m a pirate and I don’t give a damn.”

                He snorted lightly, “And for a guy…” He gently rested his hands on Yamato’s knees and leaned forward as he trailed them up her thighs, “Do you even realize how long and perfect these legs are?” Yamato tried to ignore the sparks racing along up her legs ahead of his fingertips to drench the spot between her legs as Bones’ hands reached her hips, “I got a look at your utterly perfect ass while you were wearing a swimsuit…I think there’s not a man alive who wouldn’t want to bury his face in it or have it in his lap.”

                On up his hands went, thumbs sliding across her abdomen as his fingers tickled across her ribs, “These abs, forget grating cheese on them, I could grate apples, and that has nothing to do with your nearly indestructible hide.” He suddenly leaned forward and planted his face right between her breasts, and between the shock of his boldness and the feeling of his breath on her skin in the plunging neckline of her dress, Yamato had to acknowledge that she was getting very turned on as Bones chuckled, “Marvelous, just simply utterly perfect! So big, so perky! Soooft…” He groaned as he playfully laid the side of his head into the side of her breast and sent a fresh wave of moisture downhill with a chuckle.

                He picked himself up and gently took her hands in his, “Do you have any idea how nice your hugs are? You are amazing at giving hugs.” He pulled himself up a little further until his face was scant inches from hers, “Do you seriously not understand how beautiful you are? It’s not the standard glamorous beauty like Boa Hancock, or that playfully naughty vibe Reiju has, but you’re just as beautiful as either of them, and this sheer raw physicality that comes off you…” He actually growled ever so slightly, and Yamato’s pulse and by now utterly neon blush somehow picked up even further, “It’s appropriate that you’re a Zoan type, because good god you wake up every animal instinct I have…and you’re not even trying! Do you have any idea…” he asked as he drew in even closer until their lips were almost touching, “…how much I want to kiss you?”

                Before his words could finish registering and Yamato’s brain could make the connection to lunge forward and kiss him herself, Bones drew back until he was sitting up just like he’d been when he started. Yamato felt her blush fade as she realized how close she’d just come to giving in to urges she’d never even realized she had before. Bones let out a long slow exhale, “That’s how I feel on a physical level anyway. The…other half of it…” Yamato blinked a few times to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. Yes, now he was blushing instead as he explained, “That’s…that’s where I get nervous.”

                “I…know while we were drinking I told you about my one disastrous crush,” he admitted, “Were you…sober enough to remember?”

                Yamato nodded, not quite trusting herself with words and not knowing which would be even good words at this point. Bones took a breath, “Then, you know what a coward I am, at least when it comes to intimacy and relationships. I’m…still baffled by how forward I was with Reiju, and what I did just now, all those things I said…”

                His blush returned in force and he suddenly couldn’t meet her gaze, “Oh gods, if anyone else had heard me I think I’d crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. I meant every word, but that just makes it scarier for me because I’ve never been that open about my feelings with anyone since…well ya know. With you though…I’m, I’m not afraid at all.”

                Then the blush vanished and his nervous, thoughtful expression suddenly morphed into a slightly annoyed sort of pondering as he added, “…which is bloody weird honestly because normally I’d be too terrified of damaging our friendship to ever consider for even a moment admitting all this.” He glanced off to the side and continued, “Maybe I’m…” he shook his head, “I don’t know.”

                Yamato felt a very faint tingle of alarm as the nervous but sweet honesty seemed to vanish beneath a wall of cynicism and frustration. Even Bones’ voice seemed to have changed as he reburied his vulnerable side. Then even the frustration vanished as his face twisted into a little smirk, “Anyway, that’s how I fee-?! Yama-chan?”

                Yamato sat up, his cheeks still clapped between her hands as she looked him right in the eye, “Hey. What happened to not being afraid?”

                Bones blinked and then started trembling. The confidence vanished. The cynicism and frustration beneath it vanished. Yamato didn’t even have to be in her wolf form to smell the outright terror suddenly come broiling out of him as his face turned utterly crimson in the midst of a stream of incoherent babbling that couldn’t even be sorted into words. She could tell his eyes wanted to look anywhere but into hers from how they kept twitching, but they never left hers even as his babbling trailed off into a helpless sounding little, “Huh?”

                Yamato smiled softly and found herself extremely aware of how her best friend’s panicked distress suddenly settled from a whirlwind of fear to a complete halt. He was still terrified, but he wasn’t panicking. He looked like he was drowning and had just been thrown a life preserver.

                Then a thought occurred to her and her smile spread into an excited grin. Bones raised both eyebrows and followed her hand as it left his cheek. He tilted his head in slightly confusion as Yamato knocked his hat from the hook he’d hung it on and let it drop to the floor, and she could all but see the little question mark over his head.

                Then she leaned over to whisper in his ear, “What was that you wanted to do at the drop of a hat?” Bones’ earlier blush was nothing compared to the fire engine red tone his face suddenly took on as Yamato pointed out, “Hat’s on the floor.” Bones’s heart stopped in its tracks as he turned back to her and found her smiling, “Because I feel the same way, and I…am all…sobered…up.”

                No more words were said, no more words were needed, although there were three which would’ve been fitting, as the luckiest man in the East Blue proceeded to make good on his word to the runaway Princess of Onigashima.

Chapter 8: Chapter 7

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

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…May 28^th, Evening, East Blue…

.

                Yamato tilted her head and squinted, “Hey Bones, does something look off about that island?”

                Bones squinted and then pulled the map from the inner breast pocket of his coat. A quick scan of the map led to a nod and a smile, “Yep, there is something rather unique about that island. Oh I do hope we’re in time…”

                Yamato looked over at him as he adjusted the sail to take them closer, “In time?”

                Bones held up the map for her, “That there is Mirror Ball Island. Home to a massive annual dance festival, which if we’re lucky, and I think our odds are probably rather good, just might be around this time of year. If we do happen to be in time, it might make a fun date.”

                Yamato blinked in confusion, “Date?”

                Bones nodded, “Ah, new term?” Upon a nod from Yamato, Bones smiled, “Basically we go have a fun evening together. Little dinner, little dance…” Bones couldn’t help but blush as he added, “…fall a little more in love…”

                Yamato had a blush of her own and glanced away before frowning, “Um…I…don’t know how to dance…”

                “Well, that makes two of us I suppose,” Bones declared with a grin, “I’ve a rough idea of how but never had anyone to dance with. So, I guess we’ll just have to do what we always do.”

                “Make it up as we go along?” Yamato asked with a grin.

                “That’s the spirit!” Bones laughed, “As long as we’re having fun, who cares if someone else thinks we’re doing it right?”

                Half an hour later they pulled into the docks at Mirror Ball Island, both hopping to the deck, Bones with a mooring line in hand. He quickly knelt and started tying the boat off while Yamato oohed and aahed over the sight of the islands namesake: A massive ball of mirrors as wide as the length of a battleship hanging above the town from a massive cliff that curved over the top of the island like it had been made for exactly that purpose. There were more on poles lining the streets, but that big one really took the cake.

                Bones had traded the bicorn he wore for the Goa Bank robbery in for the tricorn he’d picked up on Park Island and the dull gray coat that matched it. Now that they had massive bounties on their heads, it wouldn’t do to go drawing too much attention to themselves. It was of course a moot point though, because while Bones could easily make himself as unobtrusive as a man over seven feet tall could be, Yamato by her very nature stood out.

                Even with her horns concealed by her Zoan abilities, an ability she had developed very quickly at Bones’s suggestion to at least moderately help conceal her identity, she was still a gorgeous woman who stood a head taller than even Bones and would draw stares even if modestly dressed. As was, she was wearing a flannel shirt that was made for someone scarcely chest high on her. It could barely contain her bosom with the bottom corners were tied together as the buttons could not be even remotely trusted to be up to the task. This also left her washboard stomach and impressive musculature on full display. Her pants were denim and of the same sort as her shirt, that is, meant for someone scarcely chest high on her. As such, they had been far too small and Yamato had opted to simply cut off the restrictive material until it fit comfortably.

                The overall effect was that of a farmer’s innocent but gorgeous daughter out seeing the world beyond the farm for the first time. Yamato’s bright eyed wonder at the world only aided that image, and Bones would’ve been a liar could anyone have somehow convinced him to say it wasn’t a look that made his heart skip and stutter like a scratched up record. Indeed, he found himself deeply wishing he didn’t have to keep his eyes on the knot he was tying. He’d much rather be looking at her.

                Bones did look up though as he heard Yamato take off at a dead sprint with a little whisper of “No way...” Bones blinked in confusion and then snatched the knot tight. He twisted and lined himself up before leaping over the heads of the crowd Yamato had just barreled through in an attempt to keep her in his sight and maybe catch up a little.

.

…Half an Hour Earlier, Nearby…

.              

                “BWAHAHAHAHA! SURE! I LOVE A GOOD JOKE! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!” Vice Admiral Garp laughed, it was late afternoon, getting on towards evening and he’d decided to go for a walk. The island was having a very famous dance carnival that evening beneath the well lit form of the gigantic mirror ball that gave the island its name. Garp normally didn’t get to attend such events, but as he was in the area, he’d decided to go for an enthusiastic walk.

                This was a course of action which would’ve given Sengoku, Tsuru and everyone else who knew him a minor stroke. Nothing good ever came of Garp going for an enthusiastic walk.

                His new chore boy and chore girl had followed along behind him, nervously wondering why Garp’s usual assistant Bogart had looked so smug about having someone else to send to keep an eye on the legendary Marine Hero. It wouldn’t have concerned them so much if the man hadn’t started outright cackling after giving them the assignment.

                Now they found themselves standing before a man with heart shaped glasses wearing a top hat and blue suit. The blue suited man claimed to be a hypnotist, offering a night of madness and wonder for 1000 beris or their money back. Much to Coby and Mary’s chagrin, their superior and charge had just agreed to see what the man could do. A large part of them told them there was no way it was for real, but there was still that nagging little worry in their minds wondering what sort of horrors could be wrought if the man actually were able to hypnotize the legendary Vice Admiral.

                The hypnotist raised a bladed ring on a string, “Now watch carefully, and on the count of Jango, you’re not gonna be a marine, you’re gonna be a priest. You’ll offer to marry any young couples who look clearly in love. You won’t arrest anybody no matter who they are because you’re a priest, and you’ll make sure nobody else does because forgiveness is the way of heaven. You’ll give to the poor and help those in need. Whenever you’re not performing priestly duties, you’ll happily dance the night away without a care in the world. You understand?”

                Garp smirked, “Yeah right! Alright let’s do this!”

                Coby and Mary swapped a glance, before turning back to watch Garp intently as the ring began to swing. “Alright, now one…two…three…FOUR…” the hypnotist quickly averted his eyes and Coby and Mary just barely managed to cover their eyes in time, “…JAAAAANGOOOOO!!!”

                For a moment, it seemed like nothing had happened. Then Garp popped upright, drew a bible from who knew where, flipped it open and began quoting scripture. Coby and Mary paled in unison as the hypnotist bolted, Oh god…we’re SCREWED…

                Unnoticed by the two young Marines who had just been saddled with a hypnotized superior, over a dozen figures in various disguises breathed sighs of relief before heading to their rendezvous point.

                Twenty minutes later, three such disguised figures made their way down a dark alley towards the warm light of a hole in the wall bar. They were dressed in identical black suits, one with a fedora, one with a pompadour and scarf, and the third with glasses he didn’t need.

                “Come on man, just do it! Next time he comes askin’, just tell him to fuck off! Come on we’ll back you up! Don’t tell me you’re scared of him,” the dark haired man in the fedora needled his friend with a grin.

                “Nah,” his blonde companion with the scarf replied nonchalantly.

                “Come on man, just tell him ‘Fuck you Teach, go make your own damn pie’,” the dark haired man pressed.

                “Nope,” the blonde chef replied, “You know how it works Ace. I save things like that for when they’re well and truly earned.”

                “He’s not gonna do it yoi,” the third man smirked, “Thatch likes it when people like his food.”

                “Everyone likes Thatch’s food!” Ace declared, “That’s how he snagged that girlfriend of his isn’t it? Bake sale in disguise right? That’s a cool ability her sister’s got too. What did you say her name was again?”

                Marco stopped in his tracks and looked at Ace before averting his gaze over to Thatch, “You didn’t tell him?”

                Thatch kept walking, “He didn’t need to know.”

                Ace’s head snapped around, “What?! I didn’t need to know what?! What the hell man?! You’ve been holding out on me?!”

                Marco snagged Ace by the suit jacket they’d wrangled and conned him into and whispered who Thatch’s girlfriend was. Ace’s jaw hit the ground in shock, “BU-HULL SHIT! THATCH! You’re not!”

                “Not what?” Thatch asked calmly without breaking his stride.

                “Dating another Emperor’s daughter!” Ace demanded as he hurried to catch up where he could look his friend in the eye, “Especially one of Big Mom’s!”

                “You haven’t really got room to talk yoi,” Marco replied with a crooked smirk, “What about you and Kaido’s girl?”

                “How many times have I gotta tell you nothing happened?!” Ace exclaimed, “I don’t know why everyone thinks we hooked up! I swear on Pops’ best booze all we did was try to beat the crap out of each other and then sit around drinking and shooting the shit ‘til dawn!”

                “Ohhh, is that what they’re calling it these days?” Thatch asked with a smirk.

                “I’m telling you, nothing happened! We’re just friends!” Ace protested futilely, “Look even if I did see Yamato like that, I’m like chest high on her at most! There’s way too much of a size difference! I mean, I’m hung and all, but come on! As big as she is, you’d probably need to be the size of my entire forearm to satisfy a woman that size!”

                “Careful talkin’ like that yoi,” Marco admonished him with a grin, “She’s liable to be right around the corner and hear you.”

                Ace snorted, “Yeah right. Come on Marco, there is no way the person you guys dragged me all the way out to the East Blue all incognito to swear up and down I know nothing about the disappearance of is going to just magically pop up on the same island.”

                “Thousand beri says she does,” Marco’s grin grew mischievously.

                Ace opened his mouth to reply, then his instincts, finely tuned for danger, food poisoning and sucker bets went off. He looked at Marco suspiciously, “You seem awfully confident about that.”

                “Wonder why,” Marco replied as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

                “ACE!!!” Yamato exclaimed excitedly as she erupted around the corner and changed directions in an instant to tackle her friend with a hug. She immediately proved Ace’s point about the size difference between them by lifting him off the ground as easily as though the man were a toddler and squeezing him so hard she nearly triggered his selective intangibility, “What are you doing here?!”

                “Looking for information about you!” Ace laughed, his feet dangling nearly a meter off the ground, “I can’t believe we ran into each other! If you’ll put me down, I’ll introduce you to everybody!”

                Yamato quickly set him down and Ace grinned as he turned to his adoptive elder brothers, “Marco! Thatch! This is Yamato! Yamato, these are Marco the Phoenix, Whitebeard Pirates First Division Commander our crew’s best doctor, and Twin Blades Thatch, the Fourth Division Commander and head cook aboard the Moby Dick.”

Yamato bowed with a grin, “It’s very nice to meet you! I’m Kozuki Oden, better known as Yamato.”

                Marco raised an eyebrow with a severely unimpressed look, “What was that about Uncle Oden?”

                “In short she’s his biggest fan and wants to be just like him,” Bones replied as he dropped to the street behind them from the rooftops above, “She considers his name and identity to be synonymous with freedom and adventure, so she’s taken on that as part of her identity.”

                “Make it sound all analytical why don’t you?” Yamato asked dryly before blinking and starting to grow more than a bit worried as Bones suddenly found himself facing two sets of flames and a pair of swords that Thatch had pulled from who knew where, “Um, Ace? What’s going on?”

                “I’d guess they’re mad about my epic moustache,” Bones replied as he wiggled the moustache in question, “Look a bit too similar to your favorite one gents?”

                “Nobody makes fun of Pops,” Thatch declared coldly.

                “Who’s making fun?” Bones asked peevishly, “I consider that nickname the highest honor possible! Besides,” he reached up and plucked a hair from the moustache in question, grimacing as the hair felt like it was bringing half his lip with it, “Until I can find a good razor, I can’t exactly shave the darn thing. Liable to cut half my own face off without a good razor, and even with one, it’ll probably grow back in no time.”

                “You mean…that’s real?” Marco asked suspiciously.

                Bones simply reached up and tugged his tricorn off, revealing his hair curving up on the sides. If left to grow, it would eventually curve into twin horns that perfectly matched the sickle shape of his moustache. Marco, Thatch and Ace’s jaws hit the ground in unison. “W-w-wait…you’re really Pops’ biological son?” Marco asked in shock as he realized the resemblance to be even more utterly uncanny in person.

                “I’m from a parallel world,” Bones replied, “A radically different one where this world is nothing but a story book, and this body is not the one I had there. I have no idea if my blood is the same as Whitebeard’s, but I haven’t faked anything since I arrived off the coast of Shellstown and met Yama-chan.

                “I invoked Whitebeard’s image intentionally to get your attention so we could let you know that Yama-chan was safe and Sabo was alive,” he explained, “Also, the naginata’s a very good weapon and even if mine’s really just a sharp metal oar, I like it. You can all three shove right the hell off if you’ve got a problem with how I fight. If you think I’d ever disrespect Whitebeard though, then you can get it through your thick heads that there’s only one pirate in the world I respect as much as Edward Newgate, and if I have to pound that fact into your heads myself, I will.”

                “Oh? And who do you think is equal to Pops huh?” Ace growled, flames licking along his fingers and the edge of his fedora.

                “Monkey D. Luffy,” Bones enunciated clearly, his expression clearly daring them to laugh, “He’s an idiot but he’s the idiot who’ll be Pirate King, and I’ll have his back the entire way if he’ll have me.”

                “You…you know Luffy?” Ace asked in shock as Marco and Thatch’s swapped bewildered glances.

                “We’re actually on our way to Loguetown to join his crew,” Yamato declared, “Bones says we’re both a lot stronger than he is right now, but we don’t care. Luffy’s heading for the Grand Line, that means adventure.”

                “We both crave adventure, so of course joining the most powerful rookie in the East Blue for a run at the Grand Line is a perfect opportunity,” Bones added, “And if he won’t let us join his crew, we’ll just find a ship and go make a run of the Line ourselves.”

                “I don’t know,” Thatch grumbled, “I’m still not sure about this whole parallel world thing.”

                “Nah, that checks out actually.” Bones, Thatch, Marco, Ace and Yamato turned to see a young woman in white with mint green hair and a spare elbow on each of her very long arms, blue eyes and a mischievous smirk making her way down the street towards them. Behind her were a tall, strikingly attractive woman with pale lavender hair and a silver dress, and a dark haired man in a black suit with his face obscured by a tattered white scarf who, while shorter than Bones would’ve expected, was still as tall as Yamato.

                “Our brother has a similar ability,” the taller woman declared as Bones’ eyes widened in worried recognition. He slid back into a subtle combat stance with alarm bells screaming in his head as several pieces of the puzzle before him fell into place in his mind.

                “I see you are both well informed and perceptive,” the dark haired man with the scarf declared before Bones could voice his deductions as the mint haired beauty leapt to embrace and kiss Thatch quite enthusiastically.

                “You’re rather unmistakable,” Bones replied.

                “Very well informed,” the dark haired man added a moment later, once again anticipating what Bones was about to say before he could say it, “Katakuri, and I thank you for not bringing up the translation. It’s nice to meet you.”

                Bones breathed a sigh of relief and straightened, “It’s very nice to meet you too. This is already turning out to be quite the illustrious gathering.”

                “One we like to keep quiet I’m sure you understand,” declared another voice that made Bones snap around in surprise. “It’s important to keep some things out of the public eye,” declared Dracule Mihawk.

                “Of course,” Bones nodded, wondering if he needed to go get his suit since he was the only man there not wearing one. An appropriate dress for Yamato could be arranged as well he supposed, although at this time of night it would be difficult. Really though, Yama-chan would probably be just as pleased with a suit, Bones mused before nearly getting a nose bleed at the images that train of thought conjured in his mind.

                “Hey guys what’s the hold…oooh! New friend?” asked a tall woman in a cream-colored dress with green hair, green eyes and a forked tongue flickering out of a smile that could snatch a man’s heart and soul out in passing. Bones blinked, She is a LOT prettier than I expected her to be…

                “How interesting that the primary subjects of our intended discussion would show up of their own accord,” declared a normal sized woman with dark hair and sharp maroon eyes that Bones immediately identified as Ain joining the tall green haired woman in the doorway, “It’s honestly a touch worrying.” SHE on the other hand is exactly as hot as I expected her to be, Bones mused as he noticed how very fetching the gold dress looked on her.

                “I do not think it any cause for alarm,” Katakuri declared calmly, “Our mystery man is as shocked and confused as any of us. I believe this is merely a fortunate coincidence.”

                “Indeed,” Mihawk agreed, “He’s been shocked by every new arrival though he is concealing it well. Even if he wasn’t expecting us, he knew every one of us on sight. Miss Yamato on the other hand I do not believe knows who most of us are.”

                “YAMATOOOOOOOOO!” A woman suddenly shouted, prompting Yamato to duck and throw a kick out behind her just in time to intercept a purple haired woman in black who was about to tackle her from behind.

                Yamato twisted in wide eyed shock as her would be assailant went flying backward, “ULTI?!”

                “Nice to see you too,” grumbled a purple haired man in a floppy white hat and rumpled gray and white striped suit as he strode past Yamato towards the door.

                Yamato did a double take, “Page One?!”

                “You were expecting maybe Sasaki?” Page One asked dryly before fist bumping the green haired woman in the door, “How ya been ‘Sonia?”

                So assuming Mihawk’s going to tell Shanks everything, nearly every major faction in the New World plus the Navy and the Kuja are here huh? Bones thought to himself with a faint but very nervous grimace, This ought to be an interesting evening…

                Then what felt like a freezing cold towel draped itself over his shoulders, “Well, you’re much more handsome in person…I bet you know all sorts of interesting things to be able to sneak into Wano so effortlessly…Wanna tell me about it?”

                The chill that shot down Bones’ spine had nothing to do with the weightless and half formed but nevertheless extremely pretty snow logia cheerfully flirting with him, And the Donquixote Doflamiglia too…joy…

.

…The Next Day, May 29^th, Baratie…

.

                A glass fell to the floor and as everyone in the restaurant turned to see what had shattered a scream ripped through the dining room. “IT’S DON KRIEG!” the woman at the window screamed.

                Her date was backing away from the window, pale as a ghost, “Those hourglasses next to the skull mean time has run out for their enemies!”

                Someone else dashed to the window, “There’s no doubt! It’s the Krieg Pirates!”

                “WHAT DO THEY WANT?!” someone shrieked as the terrified customers bolted for the other door and the ship that brought out diners from the nearest town.

                Outside aboard the Going Merry, as the massive galleon loomed nearer, Reiju froze halfway into leaping over the railing to get into the restaurant and avert another of Bones’ predicted fiascos, He was right agai…wait…

                Reiju turned as she remembered one of the things Bones had made absolutely certain she understood the importance of, “Everybody except Nami into the restaurant! Hurry!”

                Nami was far from the only one blinking in surprise, “Wh-what? Why not me?”

                “You’ve got somewhere to be,” Reiju replied sharply, “THE REST OF YOU, MOVE IT! I’LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”

                It really said something, she noted with a small amount of satisfaction, about how much her new crew, no, her new family respected her judgment that Zoro caught Usopp and leapt with Luffy to the Baratie’s deck immediately with Johnny and Yosaku hot on his heels.

                Reiju exhaled with relief and then quickly crossed over to Nami. She laid a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder, “Nami, take the ship and the treasure and go home. NOW.”

                Nami’s eyes went wide, “Wha…? But Reiju!”

                Reiju’s gaze was firm and steady, “Nami. If I wasn’t here, and you didn’t know about the things Bones told me, you would be doing that right now. We’ll be right behind you, but you need to get there first and make sure Arlong doesn’t suspect anything’s coming! I know you can act. I know you can pull this off! Please, trust me and go! Quickly!” She gave Nami a hug, “Be safe.” Then she turned and took a running leap over the rail to the Baratie’s deck before hurrying inside.

                She arrived just in time to see a man with purple hair and a bandage wrapped around his forehead grab Gin by the shoulder and casually crush his collarbone with a squeeze of his hand. Reiju’s eyes widened and then she spotted Sanji, laid out flat at the man’s feet.

                The man said something, Reiju didn’t hear him through the sudden buzz of rage in her ears, and wouldn’t have cared what he said if she had. In a motion too quick for an untrained eye to see, practiced and perfected over a lifetime of military training, the revolver Bones had left with her slid from her hip holster. In the time it took everyone else in the restaurant to blink, Reiju’s eyes, wide with murderous fury, drew a bead on the eye of the man who had harmed her brother.

                Maybe Don Krieg’s instincts managed to scream through his pride, maybe he saw the barrel pointed at him. Either way, his eyes widened just in time for the POW! of the gun to herald the bullet racing through his eye, already beginning to expand as it met resistance. By the time everyone had finished blinking from the near universal flinch the unexpected shot triggered, the top quarter of Don Krieg’s skull, along with everything unfortunate enough to be in his brain cavity, was splattered across the entrance of the Baratie.

                As what was left of Krieg collapsed, everyone turned in shock to Reiju, whose gun was still ready, the next bullet already chambered and ready to fire again in case Krieg somehow got back up. Upon seeing Krieg collapse with nothing left where his brain should be, Reiju holstered her pistol and strode across to Sanji and knelt to check on him. “Are you alright? Where did he hit you? You’re bleeding… Jaw? Let me see your eyes.”

                Sanji’s eyes were properly wide for Reiju to check for the dilation that would indicate a concussion, “Ok good, no concussion. Any significant pain or loss of movement?” she asked as she gently probed Sanji’s jawline with her thumbs for fractures or breaks.

                Sanji blinked at her slowly, “You…killed him…”

                Reiju huffed as the restaurant erupted with murmurs, whispers and general shock and excitement at the sight of the second most infamous pirate in the East Blue being so casually dispatched, “Of course I killed him! He attacked you and was about to lead all hundred of his men in here to sack the restaurant and try to kill everyone here! I could kill him immediately or wait half an hour for Luffy to do it. Gin if you don’t stop staring at my ass, I’m going to have to hurt you.”

                Gin started at the offhanded warning, “N-no! I swear I wasn’t! That gun is incredible! I’ve never seen a handgun that could completely obliterate a human head like that! What caliber is it?!”

                Reiju blinked at him, “Oh. It’s a forty five caliber double action revolver loaded with hollow point rounds.”

                Gin blinked in confusion and craned his head, “But…where’s the flint? And, what’s a hollow point round?”

                Reiju blinked and then grimaced before explaining quietly, “Oh yeah, forgot most of the world doesn’t know about centerfire rounds. Ah, the bullet comes prepackaged with a detonation cap and a cylinder of powder. No flint needed, just the concussion of the hammer dropping. Hollow points are a special type of bullet meant for inflicting maximum damage to soft tissue. Not so great against armor, but for a marksman of my capability, that’s rarely an issue especially at such close range, and there are other types of bullets for armored enemies.”

                Gin sat back, his eyes wide at the implications. “That’s…that’s incredible…where did you get something like that? The Grand Line?”

                Reiju graced him with a small smirk, “Gin, if you can ever gather your courage enough to visit the Grand Line again, you will find so many things that’ll make something like this seem like just a run of the mill thing. Is your shoulder alright? It sounded like he broke your collarbone.”

                Before Gin could answer, Reiju spotted a very large figure making its way to the door. She looked up as Chef Zeff passed with a bag of food almost bigger than he was slung over his shoulder, “Chef? Where are you going?”

                Zeff snorted, “There are a hundred men out there starving. I’m a cook. I feed the hungry.”

                Sanji picked himself up, “Yeah, shoulda figured you’d already be on top of it. Let me see it, I’ll deliver it. Gin, if you can walk, you come too. They’re more likely to accept it from a face they know.” Gin straightened up from where he had crouched next to Reiju to examine her gun, “Of course.”

                “Don’t bother,” a cold voice declared that made spiders of ice race down the spines of everyone who heard it, “They are not hungry anymore.”

                The sound of a pair of boots hitting the Baratie’s deck was swiftly followed by the sound that would likely haunt Gin’s nightmares for the rest of his life. It was the sound of a ship being bisected, and it announced the arrival of The World’s Greatest Swordsman.

                “I was told this was the finest eatery in the East Blue,” Mihawk declared as calmly as if he’d just come from reading a book on agriculture rather than slaughtering the final starving dregs of an infamous pirate crew, “and I also heard that one Roronoa Zoro was here and wanted to fight me after lunch.”

                Zoro was profoundly glad he’d used the toilet not so long ago, else he was certain he’d have shat bricks as the remains of Don Krieg’s flagship collapsed sideways into the sea. HE came looking for ME?!

                He took only a second to recover and then grinned, “Yeah, I’ve actually been hunting you for years now. You coming to me just makes it easier.”

                Mihawk nodded, “I see.” He stared at Zoro with a gaze that made the younger man feel an inch high, but Zoro didn’t look away. Mihawk smirked, “Excellent, then as soon as I’ve eaten, you shall have your duel.”

                Then he looked around and spotted, “Ah, and you must be Reiju. You should really consider giving Fleet Admiral Sengoku a call, Cipher Pol and the Marines have an all points bulletin out trying to find you to ensure your safety. Speaking of calls, I just remembered,” he added almost as an afterthought before turning to Zeff, “Do you by chance have a transponder snail I could borrow? I have a call I need to make.”

                A snail was quickly brought out as Mihawk was shown to a table. After his drink order for a light but dry red was taken, he set his hat on the back of his chair and began dialing. A few moments later, the snail grew strikingly red hair and three scars across its eye to ask grumpily, “Yeah? Who’s this?”

                “Hungover again Shanks? I’m surprised you put the rum down that long,” Mihawk drawled.

                The snail’s eyes perked up, “Oh hey Hawkeye, what’s up?”

                “Those two persons of interest you asked me to keep an ear out for, I met them last night,” Mihawk replied casually, “By sheer luck it seems, they actually turned up at the island where I was to rendezvous with my contacts.”

                “You’re kidding,” Shanks replied, “That’s awesome!”

                “Yes…it was quite the wedding,” Mihawk replied.

                Shanks did a double take, “Wedding?”

                “Hmph, yes,” Mihawk smirked, “I’ve only rarely seen two young people so clearly smitten with each other. Once the alcohol started flowing, they could hardly keep their hands off each other! A very nice wedding dress was procured with a little help, quickly tailored to fit her, and they were married within the hour. The entire island got in on the party. It was easily the biggest I’ve ever seen. Of all the people we could’ve found for it, by means of a little trick I hired a man to play on him, we got Vice Admiral Garp to be the one to officiate the ceremony! I don’t know what he was on the island for, but he was nearly in tears at being asked to officiate. Sorry it took so long to call. I was sure you’d want me to enjoy it to the utmost in your stead.”

                He paused to let Shanks reply and there was a long stunned silence, “Red-hair? Are you still there?”

                Shanks jolted back to life, “ALL HANDS GET US TO HALFWAY BETWEEN TOTTOLAND AND WANO! NOW! HAWKEYE YOU LUCKY BASTARD I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED IT! God, now I’m going to have to throw an even bigger party! I can’t let amateurs outdo us! Thanks for the update! I owe you two bottles of that nasty red stuff you like so much!” Ka-lick!

                Mihawk hung up with a self-satisfied little smirk, “Let the games begin. Ah, menu, thank you.” He accepted the menu and began to peruse it calmly, cheerfully feigning obliviousness to the immense curiosity his conversation had aroused.

                Reiju thought for a moment and then sat down across from Mihawk, not for the first time reluctantly grateful that her father’s operations had stripped away her capacity for fear. She sat forward, “If you don’t mind my asking, which two persons of interest were you searching for?”

                Mihawk looked at her over the top of his glass, “Whitebeard Jr. and World Tour, their presence in the East Blue has caused quite a stir in the New World. Shanks heard I was heading this way and asked for any information I might come across during my trip out here.”

                “And…they got married last night?” Reiju asked cautiously.

                “It was quite the party,” Mihawk replied, “I’m sure you can understand, neither wants to risk being a political bargaining chip for Big Mom. While many of her children are far from unhandsome, there are also many who are quite unpleasant, and that’s not even taking the woman herself into account. I expect her fury will be quite terrible when she hears about last night.”

                “So, it’s just a marriage of convenience?” Reiju asked with a quirked eyebrow.

                “Oh no, the young bride and groom were very clearly in love,” Mihawk declared calmly, “I do have to wonder at your curiosity on the matter. You disappeared at the same time as Yamato, may I assume it was to the same place?”

                “You may,” Reiju replied.

                Mihawk took another sip of wine, “Then may I also hazard a guess that you are upset by the thought of them being married?”

                Reiju bit her lip and couldn’t meet his gaze, “…No, I’m...actually not.”

                Mihawk raised an eyebrow, “I see. Well, then I’m sure you’ve nothing to worry about. They are still quite determined to join young Strawhat’s crew at Loguetown, so you will have plenty of time to sort out your feelings with them.”

                Reiju exhaled slightly with a bit of a stormy look in her eyes, “I see. Thank you for your time, Mr. Mihawk.”

                Mihawk nodded, “My pleasure.” He turned to Sanji who had been the only one brave enough to take his order, “I would like to try the ‘Catch of the Day’ if you’ve any left.”

                Sanji nodded, acting every bit the consummate professional as he accepted the menu back, “Of course sir, we’ll have it out to you shortly. Reiju?”

                Reiju just shook her head as she strode past Sanji. Sanji and Mihawk watched her go, Sanji with concern and Mihawk with an ever so subtle attention to the sway of her hips. He was far from alone in noting the eldest Vinsmoke’s beauty, every man in the restaurant had long since made note of it to the chagrin of their lady friends.

                There was only one man in the restaurant who was paying her absolutely no heed.

                Zoro was sitting cross legged in a corner, sharpening his blades with iron focus as he examined the edges relentlessly, steeling himself for the fight to come. Every fight, every minute of training his entire life had all led up to this day. Kuina, today’s the day.

                So intense was his focus that he didn’t notice Reiju until her hand rested gently on his shoulder, “Zoro, can I trouble you to help me try something out right quick?”

                Zoro paused as the familiar voice snapped him out of his laser like focus and looked up, “Yeah, what’s up Rei-JU?!?!” He suddenly felt something very soft firmly press into his lips, and as his jaw dropped in shock, Reiju’s tongue slipped into his mouth. Zoro reacted on instinct, unsure what was happening but doing his very best to make it as good a kiss for her as he could.

                A moment later, Reiju came up for air and her eyes were watery as she gently set her forehead against his. Her eyes closed, “I’m sorry. That was really selfish of me.” She gently kissed him on the forehead before admonishing him, “Don’t die.”

                Reiju straightened up and walked away. Zoro was so stunned that he didn’t even notice the roar of “DIIIE MOSSHEAD!!!”

                Sanji would’ve gotten that kick in completely free if Reiju hadn’t caught his foot in one hand. Sanji almost fell before managing to plant his back foot to glance at Reiju in surprise. Right then he realized that something was very, very wrong as she told him quietly, “Let it go Sanji, just…let it go. I’m…going to go get some air.” She let his foot drop and walked off...towards the bathroom rather than either of the exits.

                “What the hell was that all about?” Zoro asked, still in a mild state of shock.

                Sanji bit his lip as he watched Reiju go, “Something bad, Mosshead. Something very, very bad.”

                Sanji started slightly as Koala laid a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll go check on her. I… think I know what’s happening.”

                “Do you?” Sanji asked seriously, any joy he might’ve felt at the beautiful woman’s touch muted by concern for his sister.

                Koala nodded, “Yamato told me.”

                Sanji snorted, “What? Not Bones this time?”

                Koala smirked, “Nah, he was off buying a guitar, but Yamato was able to give me the gist of it. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.”

                Sanji nodded, “Thank you.”

                A moment later Koala gently rapped her knuckles on the door, “Reiju? You in there?”

                Reiju opened the door, her face a study in neutrality, “Of course. My apologies, I just needed to adjust my make up for a moment. It’s all yours.” She stood to the side and attempted to edge past Koala.

                “Bullshit and we both know it,” Koala declared sharply as she held out an arm and pinned Reiju with an unflinching gaze. Reiju opened her mouth to protest but Koala cut her off, “I’m your friend. I’ve been through Hell too, and I can tell you from experience that you’re not going to feel better if you don’t talk about it.”

                Reiju thought about it for a moment and then stepped back into the bathroom, “Well then, let’s talk.” Koala stepped in and closed the door.

                Reiju sat down on the lid of the toilet and sat forward, lacing her fingers with an unnervingly blank expression, “What do you want to talk about?”

                Koala sighed and started undoing the buttons of her top. Reiju raised an eyebrow of curiosity and then Koala let the top drop off her shoulders before turning to show Reiju her back. Reiju’s breath caught in surprise as she took in the sight of a sun emblem, permanently etched into Koala’s flesh. It was no tattoo, but rather the raised and angrily crimson ugliness left in wake of a blazing iron brand.

                “You know what this is?” Koala asked quietly with a glance over her shoulder at Reiju.

                Reiju exhaled and cautiously guessed, “You were…” There was only one reason for that brand: to cover up a much more horrible one.

                Koala scowled, “A child at the time? Yes.” She flipped her top back up over her shoulders and began redoing the buttons, “And so afraid of being tortured or killed in horrible fashion for those sick fucks amusement, that I had almost completely forgotten how to do anything but smile and grovel.”

                “You’re not a monster Reiju,” Koala declared firmly, “Monsters choose to be monsters. A monster tried to force you to be one, and I’m sure you’ve done things you’re not proud of to stay alive. I know I have, and I hate, hate, HATE that I ever groveled like that. I hate that I stood by and let it happen to others. I hate that I never stood up for myself or anyone else because I was too afraid. If I were ever in that situation again I’d bite my own tongue out before I let those…those monsters have their way again. I don’t know what you’ve done, I don’t know how much blood is on your hands and I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one question regarding you that either of us needs an answer to.

                “Have you chosen to be a monster Reiju?” Koala asked quietly as she turned back around, “I don’t think you have. I don’t think you ever would if you had any other option. I know you could be a monster, that you could kill me out of hand right now and then everyone else here. I can also see plain as day that that’s not who you want to be. Me?”

                She looked Reiju right in the eye, “I could be a lot of things. I could be painter, a singer, a chef, a marine, a pirate, a trophy wife or a whore…the possibilities are endless. I’m none of those things. I’m a Revolutionary because now that I’ve got the option to be and do what the hell ever I want, I want to make sure nobody ever has that choice taken away from them ever again.”

                “You’ve got options now Reiju,” Koala smiled, “You can be whoever you want.”

                “Can I?” Reiju asked quietly, “I’m guessing Bones told you about what was done to me?”

                Koala shook her head, “Yamato actually.”

                Reiju snorted, “I’m honestly getting kind of tired of people knowing my secrets.”

                “Would you like to know what Bones thought about you?” Koala asked with a knowing little smile.

                Reiju raised an eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure I know already, but go ahead.”

                Koala smirked, “Bones thinks you have difficulty feeling complex emotions like love and forming attachments. He also figured you haven’t even tried to love anyone since you helped Sanji escape Germa out of worry over what Judge would do.”

                Reiju put her head in her hands, “…Go on.”

                Koala crouched down to look Reiju in the eye, “He also thinks you’d be one of the nicest people a person could hope to meet if you had the option.”

                Reiju set her hands down and looked at Koala in confusion, “What?”

                Koala smirked, “How did he put it?” She dropped her voice into a low octave in an attempt to mimic Bones, “’A person forcibly remodeled into a perfect war machine who still chooses to be compassionate and kind when given the chance, despite having absolutely no reason to and even quite a bit of reason not to, was clearly a one in a hundred million angel beforehand, and beyond any shadow of a doubt has a moral compass stronger than mine will ever be.’

                She took a breath and declared softly, “I don’t know what all he’s seen. I don’t know what all he knows, but he’s utterly convinced that you’re a good person at heart.”

                Reiju snorted with a small smile, “What a delusional idiot.”

                Koala’s smile and eyes narrowed slightly, “He also told me you’d think that if you ever found out he’d said so, and he doesn’t care unless you prove him wrong. Are you going to?”

                Reiju opened her mouth to reply with a smug look and then stopped short as she realized something: she actually didn’t want to prove Bones wrong.

                “It’s your life now Reiju, make the most of it.” Without another word, Koala straightened up and left the pinkette alone with her thoughts.

.

…~~~…

.

                Zoro stood across from Mihawk on the deck of the Baratie, only the Strawhats, Sabo, Koala, Johnny, Yosaku and Chef Zeff allowed on the deck with them. Gin was there too, but he was hiding behind everyone he could put between him and Mihawk. The chefs and customers were gathered at the windows under the strictest of orders to keep quiet so as not to throw off one or the other of the combatants. More than a few bets had been exchanged.

                The difference between the two swordsmen was a stark one.

                On the left, clad in black and magenta paisley was Mihawk, as still and calm as a stone. His outfit was flashy, there was no denying it. This was a man who would be remembered no matter where he went even if nobody knew who he was.

                On the right, tense as a bowstring, wearing a plain white T-shirt and dark pants with the only flavor to his appearance the swords at his side, the haramaki holding them and the three earrings in his ear, was Zoro. Many had mistaken him for a harmless drifting drunk, only to be carved to ribbons for their mistake, and though his name was infamous, those who didn’t know him very well might never realize who he was.

                Lethal simplicity was faced with a man who had earned the right to be as flamboyant as he wanted with the blood of who knew how many foes.

                Mihawk studied Zoro for a moment, then glanced at Zoro’s friends. As his gaze returned to Zoro, he raised a hand, “A moment if you will.”

                Zoro paused tying his bandana, blinked and then nodded. Mihawk casually hopped almost two hundred feet across to the floating wreckage of Krieg’s ship like it was nothing. Zoro was far from the only one who watched him go in confusion. A moment later he returned, a sheathed cutlass in his hand.

                Mihawk drew the weapon, “You have not yet earned the right to face Yoru, so instead I will face you with this blade.”

                Zoro blinked and then nodded, “I see.” He set Wado Ichimonji in his mouth before declaring as he drew his other two blades, “I will make you draw that sword.”

                Mihawk smiled condescendingly, “I look forward to it.”

                Zoro scowled and then shot forward, his three blades crossed for “ONI! GIRI!” The move which he had casually cleaved boulders with…was brought up short as Mihawk extended his borrowed cutlass with what some might’ve called contemptuous ease. The more experienced fighters though noticed that Mihawk’s gaze was trained on Zoro like a hawk on a mouse. Even as Zoro went ghostly pale and struggled to advance and free his weapons, Mihawk’s gaze was not that of a man laughing off his opponent.

                Zoro sprang back, desperation and disbelief flaring in his eyes as he shot forward again, swinging with all his might. RIGHT! LEFT! THRUST! BOTH HANDS! JUMP SPIN AND ONE TWO THREE! HARDER! FASTER! ONE!TWO!JUMPAND- “GUOHHH!” Zoro went tumbling to the ground as the cutlass casually swept his blades aside. He rolled back to his feet in a whirl of blades and found Mihawk calmly watching him, that blasted cutlass still at the ready. Zoro knew very well Mihawk could’ve had his head off right then if he’d wanted.

                He’s toying with me!

                Then Zoro noticed something and his eyes narrowed, “Is this some kind of trick? Your blade hasn’t got a single nick in it!”

                Mihawk inclined his head ever so slightly, “Nor should it. It is not the quality of the blade, but the quality of the swordsman which is important.”

                Zoro’s brow furrowed in confusion and then his eyes widened. He sheathed two of his swords and pulled the third from his mouth with a vicious glint in his eye before sheathing it, “I see.”

                He untied Wado Ichimonji’s sheathe from his haramaki and spun it, his eyes closing for a brief second, “Shi-shi…” It couldn’t have been a more obvious attack. It was a draw slash so easy to read a child could’ve seen it coming. Mihawk knew the younger man had to know that. So why…?

                Zoro shot forward, “SONSON!”

                Mihawk slid out of the way of the attack, his eyes ever so marginally wider, “Indeed you do.”

                Zoro’s draw slash cut through the timbers of the Baratie’s deck and out into the surf, plowing a trench into it nearly a hundred meters long and half a dozen deep.

                Deciding he’d seen enough, Mihawk’s lightning quick counter attack left a rent only two inches deep and twelve long…

                …right below Zoro’s ribs.

                Zoro stumbled and almost collapsed as the wound registered with him. It wouldn’t kill him if he got medical attention quickly, but the message was clear as crystal: Mihawk could’ve rent him in half with that strike, and the blood loss would end this fight very soon.

                Zoro straightened and turned, returning Wado Ichimonji to his mouth and drawing his other two blades as blood began to course down his side. His eyes went wide as he saw Mihawk sheathe the cutlass and set it aside, his hand instead going to the monstrous blade on his back.

                “Boy…” Mihawk said softly, “state your name.”

                Zoro grinned as he set his blades for what would be his final technique of the fight, “Roronoa Zoro.”

                Mihawk grinned as he rose to his feet, the massive sword coming free from its resting place and twisting into a ready position, “I’ll remember it. It’s been quite a while since I’ve met one like you. I’ll honor the swordsman’s code and sink you with the world’s strongest Black Blade.”

                Zoro grinned and began to spin his swords, “Santoryuu Secret Technique…” Mihawk shot forward, his eyes going wide as he realized what Zoro was about to unleash. Zoro slashed out, “SANZEN SEKAI!!!”

                As the words left Zoro’s mouth, in the breadth of an instant, Mihawk seemed to teleport to the other side of him. In wake of his passing, only Wado Ichimonji remained in tact as the two lesser blades were rent to pieces hitting against Yoru’s edge. The wound in Zoro’s side seemed to magically triple in length, opening from his left side to his right shoulder in the split second it took Mihawk to pass him.

                Zoro took the blade from his mouth and sheathed it. His mouth twisted in grim resignation, he turned to face Mihawk as the World’s Strongest Swordsman turned to finish him. Mihawk’s eyes went wide in shock at the younger man spreading his arms to accept the finishing blow, “What are you…?!”

                “Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame,” Zoro stated simply, a small grin on his face.

                “Well said,” Mihawk declared with an extremely pleased smile before bringing his massive blade down in a flash of dark steel that opened Zoro from shoulder to hip.

                Zoro staggered backwards but managed to catch himself, only to find Reiju and Sanji suddenly holding him up as Luffy launched himself at Mihawk, “YOOOOOOOOU!!!”

                His howl of rage was cut off as Mihawk effortlessly sidestepped, leaving his path unobstructed to crash into the floating wreckage of Don Krieg’s ship. Rather than something dignified, Luffy wound up getting his head buried in the wood siding and pulling with all four limbs to dislodge his head as his neck stretched unhelpfully. Sabo sighed exasperatedly, “Come on Luffy, how many times have we gotta tell ya to look before ya leap?!”

                Luffy finally yanked his head free a moment later, and he was about to have another go at Mihawk when Reiju shouted, “Luffy! He’s alive!”

                Then she started snapping orders as she ran her hands along the edges of the wounds leaving trails of numbing venom in their wake, “Usopp! Stitches and needle! Koala! Hold pressure! Sanji, help me hold him. Johnny! High proof alcohol! Yosaku! Bandages!”

                Then she switched to a calmer more polite voice, “Thank you Gin, I know this isn’t easy for you.” Gin nodded, his brow beaded with terrified sweat and his knees threatening to buckle or carry him into the sea to flee. He didn’t flee though. He stood firmly between Zoro and Mihawk, his fists raised to offer whatever futile resistance he could if Mihawk came even one step closer.

                Without missing a beat, Reiju turned back to her patient and snapped, “Roronoa Zoro you are going to lie your ass still or I will make sure you can’t move even to wipe your own ass for the next three days!”

                Mihawk couldn’t help but chuckle, “You all did very well to let him fight that battle on his own.” Then all the mirth drained from his face, “My name is Dracule Mihawk! It is too soon for you to die Roronoa Zoro! Learn about yourself and the world around you! Grow strong Roronoa! However long it may take, I’ll wait for you to come and take this title from me. Defeat my sword with the fierce mettle of your spirit! Become better than me! You have to!”

                Everyone was quiet for a moment, then Zoro raised his arm, still with Wado Ichimonji clutched tight in his grip as he pointed it straight to the sky, “Luffy! I guess I worried you there, but hey, you’ll accept nothing less than the best swordsman there is right? So I won’t let you down! Until the day I defeat him, and become the World’s Strongest Swordsman, I’LL NEVER LET MYSELF BE DEFEATED AGAIN! MARK MY WORDS, I’LL NEVER BE DEFEATED! IS THAT ALRIGHT, KING OF THE PIRATES?!”

                Luffy’s jaw was far from the only one dropped in surprise, but he was the first to recover with a chuckle, “Shishishi! YEP!”

                Zoro grimaced, “Sorry for making you worry Reiju. Thanks.”

                Reiju flicked his nose before accepting the thread and needle Usopp handed her, “I knew you’d be alright. You’re welcome, now don’t make a habit of it.”

                Mihawk tilted his head and glanced over his shoulder as he heard that, Should I be offended?

                “Don’t worry, Reiju could probably have fixed him up even if you had lopped off his head,” Sabo declared with a grin, “Germa’s crazy like that ya know?”

                Mihawk snorted with a small smile, “I see.”

                It wasn’t until Zoro was fully stitched up that Luffy realized he didn’t know where Nami and the Going Merry were.

.

…Half An Hour Later…

.

                Fleet Admiral Sengoku and several other of the Marines’ highest ranking officers were in the middle of trying their very best to remain calm. This was made extremely hard by what many considered a worst case scenario attempting to play out before their very eyes. Three of the four most powerful pirates in the world on a conference call, with not a single one even trying to encrypt or conceal the communications. It was as blatant a middle finger to the World Government as could be.

                “Kaidooooo…Newgate! Why did neither of you tell me you had such handsome children?!” the pirate known as Charlotte ‘Big Mom’ Linlin asked with a smile clearly displayed by the transponder snail sporting her hair and lips.

                Sengoku was far from the only one who grit his teeth, She said it! The obvious worry of course was that Big Mom would attempt to marry the children of Kaido and Whitebeard to her own, thus creating a unified force of the three strongest crews in the world, each capable on their own of matching every scrap of military prowess the World Government could bring to bear. If such an unstoppable union were to form, it would be a disaster beyond compare.

                “Probably because I’d never seen that brat before in my life prior to Thatch handing me his wanted poster,” Edward Newgate, the Strongest Man in the World replied bluntly. Sengoku felt a little of the tension ease, if Whitebeard wasn’t claiming this ‘Bones’ that the Bounty Office had dubbed ‘Whitebeard Jr.’ then Big Mom wouldn’t consider marrying one of her daughters to him a valid alliance.

                Big Mom’s eyes narrowed, “So you’re saying he’s not your son? Newgate, the boy looks just like you. I’ll grant the chin’s a bit different, but other than that…”

                “Linlin, I told you, I don’t know who that brat is,” Whitebeard declared sharply, “If he wants to be my son, then he’s welcome to join my crew, just like all my other sons and daughters. Blood or mud, you know I don’t care. We always have room for more family.”

                Big Mom snorted, but didn’t comment. Her view that only blood family counted and could thus be trusted was well enough known that she didn’t have to.

Instead she turned her gaze to, “Kaido you cheeky little brat! How come you didn’t tell me you had a daughter?! She’s so cute! And you’re not about to tell me you don’t claim her given your little rampage a few weeks ago when she went missing.”

                The snail mimicking Kaido made a strange motion that Sengoku took a second to realize was the Strongest Monster in the World drinking before the aforementioned beast replied, “Little shit’sh been claimin’ ta be Oden for twenty yearsh, sho I treatsh her like Oden. Wantsh to be a man and open Wano’s bordersh. That’sh fine, I wanted a shon anyway. You can’t have her Linlin. She’sh gonna be shogun one day. I’m gonna make thish country into a lawlessh pirate paradishe and she’sh gonna run it for me after I beatsh the shit out of her for running away like that.”

                Then, before Big Mom could reply, Kaido’s expression darkened, “Hey Newgate, how come my daughter turned up with your brat huh? First that Fire Fist brat of yours breaks in and gets her all riled up, now she’s somehow halfway across the world with your mini-me. HOW DARE YOUR MINI-ME STEAL MY MINI-ME?! I OUGHTA KICK YOUR ASS YOU OLD BASTARD!”

                Whitebeard opened his mouth to reply with a grin, likely to dare Kaido to try his luck. He was cut off before his challenge could be issued though as Big Mom’s snail suddenly changed hair and developed three very distinct scars that made every eye that saw the change bug out.

                “GUYS! IT’S SHANKS! DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?! WHITEBEARD’S MINI-ME MARRIED KAIDO’S DAUGHTER LAST NIGHT! I JUST HEARD FROM MIHAWK AND HE SAYS IT WAS THE BIGGEST PARTY HE’S EVER SEEN! HE TOLD ME THAT THEY TRICKED FREAKING GARP INTO OFFICIATING IT! OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED IT!” *ka-lick!*

                The snail changed back to mimicking Big Mom, who along with Kaido and Whitebeard, looked completely and utterly pole axed.

.

…In The New World…

.

                As close to evenly halfway between Tottoland and Wano as they could position the ship, Shanks looked at his crew and held up three fingers, grinning absolutely from ear to ear, 3…2…1…

                “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”

                Shanks and his whole crew fell to the deck howling with laughter as Big Mom and Kaido’s wordless screams of fury rang out in unison loud and clear.

.

…Marineford…

.

                Sengoku took off his freshly shattered glasses and handed them to an aide, “Someone get Garp on the snail. NOW.”

Chapter 9: Chapter 8

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

.

…That Night, Northwest of the Baratie…

.

                “Thank you for coming with us,” Reiju said softly as she finished disassembling the revolver Bones had left her for cleaning.

                Sabo looked over in surprise from his watch post at the bow as the pinkette broke the silence, “It’s no problem. I’m actually extremely pleased to get the opportunity. If Ace had been here, it would’ve been a full family reunion! Besides,” he added as the brim of his hat tilted down and shadowed his eyes from the light of the lantern and the moon alike, “From what Bones told me, this Arlong guy is exactly the sort of tyrannical scum the Revolutionary Army was created to fight against, and it’s deeply personal for Koala as well. That’s three excellent reasons for me to help out with this,” he declared as he shrugged out of his large black overcoat.

                “Still though, I deeply appreciate it,” Reiju replied as she began to clean the revolver’s components, “The extra firepower will come in quite handy I believe.”

                Sabo snorted with a small smile as he moved to drape his coat over Koala’s sleeping form, “You guys would’ve been fine. One of Luffy’s friends is on the line, and there’s not enough beating in the world to stop him when it’s one of his friends at stake.” Then Sabo blinked as he noticed something in the moonlight. His brow furrowed, “Reiju, can I see one of those bullets for a second?”

                Reiju handed one across to him and he studied it closely, “No way…” he reached over and gently poked Luffy’s sleeping form with it. Luffy immediately slumped and weakly tried to move away from it in his sleep. Sabo’s eyes went wide, “I’ll be…that is sea prism stone! Judging by Luffy’s reaction to it, this has gotta be a pretty high purity too. If I didn’t believe him before about his circumstances, I certainly would now.”

                Reiju looked down in shock at the three bullets remaining, three bullets made of a material that was well known to be so finnicky as to be nigh unworkable except for the most masterful of metallurgists, let alone make something as small and precise as bullets with. “How…” Then she shook her head, “You’re right, there’s no way he could’ve procured something like this without some kind of supernatural help. …Unless he stole it from the Beast Pirates when he sprang that Oni girl,” she added as the thought occurred to her.

                Then something else occurred to her and her expression went from thoughtful to mild horror, “…and I wasted three of these.” She sighed in mild frustration, “Dammit Bones, why didn’t you tell me what these were made of?”

                Sabo snorted, “He probably didn’t know or he would’ve been a lot more reluctant to part with them. He’s not the sort of guy who believes in letting his opponents have even the slightest chance of victory. Catching a logia user off guard with something as improbable as sea prism stone bullets would be right up his alley.” He was quiet for a moment and then he glanced over at Reiju, “He said you thought he was Cipher Pol Zero when you met him. After talking shop with him, I’m honestly not sure I believe him about not being Cipher Pol.”

                Reiju’s eyes widened in mild alarm, “What sort of shop?”

                “Assassination, battle tactics, propaganda and marketing, codes, logistics… even with the alarm bells his competence was setting off, I kinda still wanted to offer him a job,” Sabo admitted.

                “Pffft, he wouldn’t have taken you up on it,” Koala declared with a grin as she rolled over and revealed herself to be awake. She pretended not to notice Sabo’s immediate blush, “Not if he couldn’t bring Yamato with him, and Yamato wouldn’t miss out on her world tour for anything.”

                “World tour? Isn’t that her epithet?” Reiju asked with a quirked eyebrow.

                Koala nodded, “It’s been her dream for twenty years to be free and go see all the amazing things in the world. She’s been locked up on one island, not even a big island, that entire time with Kaido brutally killing anyone who tried to be nice to her.”

                Reiju frowned as the similarities to her own background registered with her. Sabo noticed, “Bones has a soft spot for people who’ve had a rough time with the people who were supposed to be their family. I would say Heaven help anyone he catches hurting a kid, but honestly I think anyone that would hurt a child deserves what he’ll do to them.”

                “What would he do?” Reiju asked curiously.

                “Probably something fit for Impel Down,” Koala declared nonchalantly.

.

…Meanwhile, Inside the Little Boat’s Cabin…

.

                “So, you’re finally awake,” Sanji noted as Zoro’s breathing changed and his eyes ever so sneakily cracked open, his mind having already registered that he didn’t know where he was. Sanji scooped a handful of sausage and rice from the bowl and started forming it into a ball, “You feeling alright?”

                Zoro’s eyes popped wide open as the morning’s events sprang back to mind and he realized who he was with. He nodded, “Yeah, is everyone okay?”

                “Everyone except you Mosshead,” Sanji replied, “Reiju says you need to keep lying down, and whatever you do, don’t flex any muscles in your chest or torso unless you want your wound to open back up and bleed you to death. She seems to care about you a lot, so you better do what she says because I’m warning you now: If you make my sister cry,” Sanji turned a glare sharper than the knife next to his mixing bowl on Zoro, “I will kill you.”

                Zoro opened his mouth to challenge the threat, but then took a second to consider it. He shot a glance at the blonde cook, “Good.”

                Sanji actually paused preparing the midnight snack he was working on for a moment to look over his shoulder in surprise and then snorted with a little smirk, “Maybe you’re alright after all Mosshead.”

                Zoro thought for a moment and then, “Hey Swirly, has Reiju told you about this Bones guy?”

                Sanji glanced over his shoulder, “Yeah, he actually left a note for me with her to convince me to join you guys.”

                Zoro looked over at him in surprise, “Really? How was that?”

                Sanji ground his teeth in frustration, “That bastard knows you and me both way too well. I don’t rattle easy, but he knew exactly which buttons to push to make me want to join you guys and left details for me about you to help us get along, or at least keep us from fighting. If we find that guy, I want answers, and I don’t believe this crap about him being some kind of oracle. Not that the shit he said doesn’t sound good, I’d love to meet those two his note mentioned, but this whole thing stinks like a trap to me.”

                “What sort of details?” Zoro asked with his brows furrowed in concern.

                “Told me about why you’re willing to do the most unmanly thing there is and fight women like they’re men,” Sanji declared before adding, “I don’t like it worth a damn, but I understand your reasoning even if I’d never accept it myself. He didn’t want me to tell you I knew, seemed to think you wouldn’t want anyone to know, but that it would help if I did and that we’d be unstoppable if we worked together.”

                “That really wasn’t his story to tell,” Zoro grumbled as he realized what had been in the letter, “Although from the sound of it, you probably would’ve tried to get in my way if we had an enemy that was a woman?”

                Sanji was quiet for a moment, “I can’t say I wouldn’t, but I hope it won’t come to that. The notes he left Reiju say that Nami could get you fighting mad if she wanted to, and I’d certainly step in then, but if we have a genuine enemy that’s a woman…” He took a drag of his cigarette, “If Reiju didn’t get to them first, I guess I’d maybe be able to look the other way if you wanted to take care of it.”

                Zoro mulled that over for a moment and then nodded, “Good. How about that Bones guy?”

                “Oh, we are beating some answers out of him when we find him,” Sanji declared immediately as he stuck the sausage and rice balls into the boat’s little wood fire oven, “Don’t doubt that for a second.”

                “Most importantly what his intentions towards Reiju are,” Zoro agreed.

                Sanji frowned and turned to face Zoro as he twisted the little wind up timer in his hands, “Speaking of, what are your intentions towards my sister?”

                Zoro looked Sanji in the eye, “Reiju was willing to save my ass in Shellstown, and had my back at Orangetown. I don’t know if she realizes I saw her take that bullet for me, and I don’t care. I owe her my life and that’s that. I don’t know why she kissed me.”

                “I…actually do,” Sanji admitted, “And it’s not for the obvious reason.”

                Zoro raised an eyebrow, “Yeah?”

                Sanji nodded, “Our father’s a seriously sick, evil bastard. He made my brothers into heartless monsters, and the only reason Reiju’s still a good person is because our mother was one of those people who’s better than this shitty world deserves and managed to pass some of that on to Reiju before she died.”

                Sanji exhaled a plume of smoke, “Reiju…I don’t quite understand it, but the way she explained it to me, since what was done to her, she can’t… it’s not that she can’t make friends, it’s… like she can’t get emotionally attached. She still feels emotions, but love and compassion? Really truly caring about someone? She’s not sure she can still feel those things all. She was completely convinced that this Bones guy was in love with her, but Mihawk said that Bones had just married that hottie with the horns he’s been running around with since he left Reiju at Shellstown.”

                “Damn,” Zoro mused, “so either she completely misread him, or he’s a good enough actor to fool her, which means there’s no telling what all else she might’ve been tricked about.”

                “Yeah, and on top of that, apparently she was kind of into him too?” Sanji explained, “Either way, she should by all rights have been seriously upset, but even though she knew she should’ve been, she wasn’t. That scared her almost worse than the thought of him playing her and all the rest of us like a fiddle because she had thought she was starting to recover from what our father did to her. She kissed you to test her own emotions.”

                Zoro took a moment to process that and then exhaled, “So what was the verdict?”

                “Very uncomfortable for me to hear, but definite proof that she’s still very much my sister,” Sanji replied dryly.

                “Meaniiing…what exactly?” Zoro asked.

                “…Meaning there’s a high chance of you getting laid Mosshead,” Sanji admitted reluctantly.

                “…Ah…I, I see,” Zoro replied, suddenly very pale.

                “What’s that face for?” Sanji asked with a raised eyebrow, “Most guys would be freakin’ pumped at the thought of it.” Part of him wanted to question Zoro’s sexuality and mock him, but the rest of him was feeling a bit overprotective of his sister and stifled the taunts to maintain whatever reason Zoro had to keep his distance.

                “It’s…hard to explain,” Zoro declared slowly, “It’s not that I don’t want to…I mean, she’s gorgeous and brilliant and as strong as anyone I’ve ever met, and I’m not gonna lie, that kiss was incredible. It’s just… I don’t… I don’t know. It’s like…like…I don’t know how to describe it.”

                Silence reigned in the small cabin for what seemed like a long time and then Usopp rolled over to face the ceiling, “I get it.” He crossed one leg over the other and folded his hands behind his head, “Your dream takes priority for you.”

                “Yes,” Zoro agreed, “That.”

                Sanji blinked in confusion, “What?”

                Usopp glanced over at him, “Zoro’s going to surpass Mihawk and become the World’s Greatest Swordsman, that’s going to require everything he has and then some. He knows that, right down deep in his soul, so his heart’s prioritizing. If he has to choose between the thing that defines him or a possible love interest that would detract from his time growing stronger and hold him back, then of course he’s going to take giving his all to getting stronger. It’s nothing against Reiju, he thinks the world of her! Don’t give me that look Zoro, it’s plain as day to anyone who cares to look. The point is, Zoro’s gotta give getting stronger everything he’s got and he knows that, so until he achieves his dream, since he’s not the sort of guy who does things halfway, he probably won’t be interested in any sort of romance because he doesn’t want to be only half there for whatever lucky girl he falls in love with.”

                Sanji was quiet for a moment as he took a contemplative drag of his cigarette. He let it out and shot Zoro a look, “Unfinished business you gotta sort before starting something new huh?”

                Zoro nodded a slightly relieved smile spreading across his face, “Right. Thanks Usopp, that was really hard to say right.”

                Sanji unknowingly cut off Usopp’s upcoming bout of humble-bragging by asking, “So Usopp, how did you know exactly how Mosshead was feeling?”

                “He’s got a beautiful girlfriend back home waiting for him to come back as a ‘brave warrior of the sea’,” Zoro answered before Usopp could. Usopp’s jaw dropped and his stammers were cut off by Zoro continuing, “He knows the feeling because he feels the same way. He’s gotta get the adventure out of his system before he goes home to settle down.”

                Sanji took a drag of his cigarette, “Yeah, that makes sense.” He looked over at Usopp, “So what’s she like?”

                Usopp took a second to gather his thoughts and then launched into praise of Kaya that would’ve made her blush crimson if she could hear him. Though Sanji doubted she was as beautiful as Usopp was claiming, he certainly understood how sincere the sharpshooter’s affection was. I hope she’s still waiting for you when you make it back Long Nose, Sanji thought as he mused, if she isn’t, the heart break will kill him.

                Just then Reiju poked her head in, “Sanji? Do we have anything we can use for bait? I’ve got an idea.”

.

…A Few Hours Sail Northwest…

.

                Nami sat in a deck chair on the deck of the Going Merry, her eyes on the stars and her arm outstretched as she traced the constellations Bellemere had taught her with her finger, memories and thoughts swirling behind her eyes.

                “The Sea King…” A massive form, easily three times her size covered in leathery blue skin that she had come to see as the living incarnation of evil… It was masquerading in people clothes while laughing with teeth that were too sharp and too many. It pretended to be a person, not just a person, better than a person, but it lived only to consume and kill everything and everyone Nami cared about.

                “The Rudder…” The stack of money clenched as tight as her little fingers could with a flicker of hope that she would never be able to afford to let go of… the fury and disgust on everyone’s faces as she began the charade that she’d kept up for the last ten years…

                “The Albatross…” The white flags that were supposed to mean help was coming…only to turn and chase her for the mark the monster had left on her…help she couldn’t ask for without the monsters killing everyone she cared about…

                “The Jolly Roger…” Trust me and go! Do I need to kill someone? If they made our friends cry then yes. We’re sitting with some very scary people.

                A small smile flashed across her face as she traced a straw hat onto the Jolly Roger, I wonder if they can actually do it? Reiju’s words echoed in her mind, One touch from me and Arlong’ll be dead within half an hour.

                “Hey, Bellemere?” she whispered, “I think things may finally be looking up.”

.

…Earlier That Evening, Marineford…

.

                Sengoku took a steadying breath, “Ok Garp, run me through this one more time. You were on the island.”

                “Yep.”

                “And a man who we’ve now been able to identify as the small time pirate One-Two Jango tricked you into letting him hypnotize you on a whim, which you paid him a thousand beris to do.”

                “To be fair, I didn’t know he was a pirate,” Garp reiterated.

                Sengoku sighed, “Clearly. So, once hypnotized, you thought you were a preacher.”

                “I still think I was pretty good at it,” Garp grumbled.

                “And while you were off performing weddings, which I feel it’s worth reiterating that as the captain of your ship and a world renowned Vice Admiral of the Navy are in fact real, legal and binding, you were approached by the two currently most wanted bounties in the East Blue who were all dressed up for a wedding and asked to officiate.”

                “Actually Mihawk was the one who asked me,” Garp clarified, “And Ace looked liable to shit himself until he realized I wasn’t there to clobber him.”

                Sengoku did a small doubletake, “Wait, what? Ace? As in your grandson? Why and how was he there?”

                Tsuru sighed as she walked in, “Apparently Garp stumbled right into the middle of a meeting of our informant network. Ace was there because the entire underworld’s in as much of an uproar over trying to figure all this out as we are. Garp, were you mentally present enough to remember Commodore Ain?”

                “Well of course I remember…wait Commodore?” The gears grinding in Garp’s head were almost audible over the connection and then, “WAIT. THAT WAS YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER TSURU?! THE ONE ZEPHYR’S ALWAYS SO PROUD OF?! I CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T SEE IT IMMEDIATELY! SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!”

                Tsuru sighed as Sengoku face-palmed, “Yes Garp, that was my granddaughter Ain. She’s one of the key handlers for our informant network.”

                “Does that mean Ace is one of our informants?” Garp asked after a moment’s contemplation.

                “He was last night due to the rumored connection between him and Kaido’s daughter,” Tsuru explained, “That’s why he was there. Our informant network scheduled an emergency meeting to discuss World Tour’s disappearance and our informants from the Whitebeard Pirates were able to bring Ace along.”

                “Hmmm. Well at least he’s doing something to help the Navy,” Garp grunted, “Did we find anything out?”

                Tsuru sighed, “Yes. Apparently even though the Whitebeard Pirates were not involved in any way, shape or form, Whitebeard Jr. was somehow responsible or at least involved in both World Tour and Princess Reiju’s disappearance. However, he also genuinely has no idea how he did it, is chalking it up to an act of God, and the story he gave is so outlandish that we have to suspect the interference of an unknown third party that may have messed with his memories to cover their tracks. He was confirmed to not have a Devil Fruit by multiple sources during the meeting so that’s that possibility ruled out.”

                “He also doesn’t know if he’s actually related to Whitebeard and has no prior affiliation to Whitebeard’s crew, although he is reportedly very pleased by the association,” Tsuru added, “And World Tour is overjoyed to be out from under Kaido’s thumb, something our informants from the Beast Pirates were reportedly a bit salty about.”

                “Do we have any idea of their plans or goals?” Sengoku asked wearily.

                “They’re heading for the Grand Line,” Tsuru declared before shrugging, “Ain claims they’re less pirates and more happy-go-lucky drifters. World Tour wants to see the world, and Whitebeard Jr. is just pleased to follow her around like a lovesick puppy. Ain’s assessment is that they’d be utterly harmless if unprovoked.”

                “And the city they knocked down in the process of stealing nearly two billion beris? That’s harmless?” Sengoku asked dryly.

                Tsuru sighed, “Apparently that was Sabo the Twister’s idea, and over half of that went to funding the Revolutionary Army. Whitebeard Jr. and World Tour went along with it to let their friends around the world know they were alive and okay.”

                “A publicity stunt,” Sengoku declared in a voice of minor awe and significant horror, “They knocked down half a city and robbed an entire kingdom blind for the sake of a publicity stunt? STOP LAUGHING GARP THIS ISN’T FUNNY! IF THEY’LL DO THAT FOR A PUBLICITY STUNT WHAT’LL THEY DO WHEN SOMEONE ACTUALLY PROVOKES THEM?!”

                “Demolish an entire island,” Garp replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, “They’ve already done that once remember? The real question is who’s going to provoke those two little monsters, and the answer seems to be other pirates.”

                Sengoku bit back the scolding that he had been about to unleash on his old friend as he read between the lines, “You think they might be Warlord material?”

                “I still vouch that Ace would’ve been good as a Warlord, although I doubt these two will accept the offer any more than he did,” Garp declared, “That and it’s too early. They’ll have a huge rep just from their debut and the big names associated with them, but they’re still too new yet to even make the offer. Do they even have a crew? I don’t think they do.”

                “Ain says they’re actually planning to join your grandson Luffy,” Tsuru declared tiredly, “They’ve heard of him apparently and Whitebeard Jr. is the one who left Princess Reiju where she could join up with him, something about her estranged brother being a cook.”

                “So Luffy’s become a pirate too eh?” Sengoku asked tiredly, “Greee-eat…”

                “CHART A COURSE FOR LOGUETOWN! RIGHT! NOW!!!” Garp suddenly roared, startling Sengoku and Tsuru.

                “Ah, Garp?” Sengoku asked tentatively, “Are you still there?”

                The Transponder Snail just stared blankly back at him, the little goatee that marked Garp’s presence on the other end disappearing. Sengoku sighed and turned to Tsuru, “Did Ain have anything else to report?”

                Tsuru dragged a hand through her hair with a groan, “We lost Captain Isuka.”

                “Damn,” Sengoku bit out under his breath, “So the reports about her being compromised were right?”

                “Ain’s ostensibly putting her in deep cover with the Whitebeards,” Tsuru explained, “But she says there’s no way Isuka would ever be able to fight Ace, and we wouldn’t be able to trust her should Ace ever be imprisoned, possibly any of Whitebeard’s allies. She’s more useful now to make sure we have a guaranteed source within the Whitebeards.”

                Sengoku exhaled slowly, “Alright. Make sure she knows to keep her head down, and start wiping her from the records.”

                Tsuru raised an eyebrow and then it clicked, “Wiping who Sengoku?”

                “Exactly,” Sengoku nodded, “So, any other news?”

                “Ain’s debating planting a mole with Whitebeard Jr. and World Tour, possibly even planting herself if she can’t find anyone else,” Tsuru admitted grudgingly, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you I’m not happy about the thought of her doing it herself.”

                “So even though she thinks they’re supposedly harmless she acknowledges what an unmitigated disaster they’re going to be?” Sengoku asked dryly, “Especially if Luffy turns out to be as much a maverick as the rest of his family?”

                “Pfft, you know he’ll be the worst one yet,” Tsuru quipped pessimistically.

                Sengoku blanched, and then took a deep breath, “If Luffy’s got a bounty over twenty million by the end of the month, tell Ain to start making preparations. I want someone on that ship with enough ability to end the whole crew if need be. If it has to be her, then as much as neither of us like it, it has to be.”

                Tsuru thought for a moment and then a lightbulb went off in her head, “I think I may know just the person. I’ll tell Ain to put out a feeler.”

.

…The Next Day…

.

                I checked the map one more time after tugging our little boat ashore, just to make sure I wasn’t wrong. Yama-chan was already looking around, excitement radiating off her as it always did at a new island. She looked over her shoulder at me grinning, “What’s here? You wouldn’t have wanted to come here if there wasn’t something good here!”

                I chuckled, “Am I that obvious? Well, no matter. There is indeed something rather interesting here, but I want to surprise you. Would you mind waiting here for a little while so I can go make sure it’s ready?”

                Yama-chan’s eyes widened, “Wait, how do you already have a surprise set up?! We just got here!”

                I grinned, “Yeah, but what I want to surprise you with has been here for half a century. I just need to make sure it’s where you can go.”

                Yama-chan frowned, “Why wouldn’t I be able to go?”

                I paused for a moment to think of how to put it that wouldn’t give anything away about the surprise that I was sincerely excited to give her, “I want to make sure they’re friendly before I take you to meet them. I don’t know that they will be, but if they are, then I’ll be back soon to bring you to them. If they’re not friendly, then we’re a day’s sail from Loguetown and I know a shop in Loguetown where we can get the same thing I’m hoping to get here. It may not be quite as special there, but it’ll suffice I think.”

                “It’s a mystery person?! With something cool?!” Yama-chan exclaimed excitedly, “Who is it?! What is it?! I gotta know!”

                I sighed with a fond smile, “Patience Yama-chan, if they’re not friendly then they’re not worth getting excited about. In that case, we’ll head for Loguetown and you’ll never have to worry about it again because we’ll just get the thing I brought us here for there. If they are friendly though, then I can’t tell you without giving away the surprise! Please? I just need two hours tops.”

                Yama-chan pouted at having to wait, but agreed. “If you’re not back in two hours, I’m coming after you.”

                I smiled, “I’ll be back. I promise.” I turned and crouched before springing skyward, the power of this insane mini-Whitebeard body carrying me thirty feet into the air before I kicked off the air and darted away through the sky. Screw gravity! I laughed to myself.

.

…An Hour Later…

.

                I found Yamato up a tree, hooting at a couple of very confused owls. I wished I had a camera because it was hilarious and adorable. She wasn’t embarrassed about it, which honestly somehow made it even cuter, and the fact that she was immediately more interested in me and my surprise for her made my heart swell. She hopped down out of the tree, “Surprise?”

                I nodded, “They want to meet you.”

                “Who is it? Can you tell me? Why were you so worried about them not being friendly? Are they strong? Is it somebody important?”

                I weathered the barrage of questions with a smile, “You know how Oden had two swords?”

                Yamato stopped dead in her tracks as an impossible inkling of who we were here to see popped into her head, “Wait…Is there a bladesmith here?!”

                I paused to look back over my shoulder at her somberly, “Kozaburo Shimotsuki died a few years ago, and he’d reportedly fallen a long ways from his heyday when he forged Oden’s blade Enma and its sister sword, the Wado Ichimonji. He’s buried in the local cemetery. We can certainly stop to pay our respects.” It made my heart sag to see the utterly devastated look on her face, but there was no point beating around the bush.

                I forced a small smile as I hefted the two bags I had prepared when I realized how close we were. One was full of knives and swords and other weapon quality metal, the other was much smaller but full of cash in case a bribe was needed, “His son is still here though, and he says old Kozaburo had an apprentice. He runs a dojo not far from here and Shimotsuki village is about as close to a piece of Wano as it’s possible to get without being there. I thought you might like to visit. This is actually Zoro’s hometown. If anyone can forge katana worthy of the new Oden outside of Wano, and teach you how to use them, it bloody well ought to be the residents of Shimotsuki Village.”

                I seriously considered checking Yamato’s pulse when I noticed how still she was being. Her jaw was on the ground and it might’ve been funny if it didn’t make me worry to see her so completely still. Yama-chan doesn’t do ‘still’. Even when she sleeps she rolls around and fidgets. The only thing that keeps her from falling out of the bed is having walls on either side. If our boat had a bigger cabin, we’d need to sleep on the floor to keep her from falling out of bed multiple times a night. “Yama-chan? Are you alright?”

                “You…brought us here to meet the same bladesmith who made Oden’s katana…to have a katana made…for me?” Yamato asked slowly, her eyes starting to water.

                I nodded with a smile and held up two fingers, “Two actually, I thought it might make you happy.” Quicker than even I could process, Yama-chan had me wrapped in a hug and my heart nearly stopped in surprise.

                Not from the hug mind you, it’s because that was the first time Yamato ever told me “I love you.” My eyes might’ve leaked a little from sheer happiness at hearing that from someone other than my grandparents for the first time in nearly twenty years. No matter what Yamato tells you, I did not absolutely break down on the spot and cry like a baby over it.

 

He did too. I was worried I’d hurt him until he hugged me back and I realized he was smiling. Don’t let him fool you, he’s a giant softie.

-Yamato

.

…Twenty Minutes Later…

.

                “It is a delight to meet an up and coming samurai of Wano,” Koshiro declared with a gentle smile, “Your friend says you have taken up the will of Kozuki Oden?”

                Yama-chan nodded, “Yes, I… I was there when my father killed him. His final moments inspired me, and I decided to take up his cause and open the borders of Wano. My father… took considerable offense to that, and threw me into a sealed cave with the daimyos of Ringo, Kibi and Udon. He left a single meal, only enough to feed one of us, returned their swords and ordered the cave sealed. He had decided that either I could fight them off, despite being chained to the wall, or die for daring to speak out against him.”

                Yama-chan rubbed her wrists, eyes lost long in the past, “They didn’t attack me. They cut me loose and stayed with me for over a week, teaching me how to fight…and…and how to read.” She pulled Oden’s journal from inside her shirt where it lived, right next to her heart, “This is Oden’s journal, the first thing I ever read from start to finish, and it’s been my bible ever since. Do you have anyone who can make a copy of it? If anything happens to me, I want to make sure Oden-sama’s story lives on!”

                Koshiro’s breath went out of him in surprise, “I see. Yes, of course. We will happily provide as much paper and ink as you need, as well as any other aid we can provide. Your friend has told me that you wish to forge a pair of katana? Do you have steel?”

                I hefted the bag of blades with a grin, “Enough to make a suit of armor if we felt like it.”

                Yamato’s head whipped around, “That’s what you bought all those swords for?!”

                I blinked back at her, “I wasn’t sure we’d have time to refine enough steel and still make our rendezvous in Loguetown. By my estimates, we’ve got two weeks, tops. If it will take longer, then I will go, make the rendezvous and get a Transponder Snail so we can catch up to them in the Grand Line. Then I’ll come right back.”

                Koshiro rubbed his chin for a moment, “I confess, I am nowhere near the bladesmith my father was, and I never saw him at his peak. However, his apprentice Shirou still lives and will undoubtedly be willing to help. My father believed Shirou to be his equal in skill, although he lacks the Will to forge a truly great blade.”

                Yamato furrowed her brows, “Will…you mean Haki or Ryuo?”

                Koshiro nodded, “I’ve heard it called both.”

                “I’ve got that!” Yamato exclaimed excitedly, “I’ve got lots of that! How can I help?”

                “Well, for starters I’ll need to sort that steel you brought,” declared a dry voice from behind us, “And Kozaburo had better be glad he’s dead, I’d kick his wrinkly ass for that.”

                I turned and found a very muscular man in the door who looked to be in his forties with red hair already streaked with white. “Let me see your Will if you intend to help,” the man I figured to be Shirou demanded, “I’ll not have a weakling in my forge.”

                Yama-chan held up a hand curled into a fist and coated it with jet black Haki, her Conqueror’s Haki leaking out just enough to make my hair stand on end. Judging by Shirou’s reaction, it did a lot more to anyone who wasn’t intimately familiar with her. It wasn’t until Yama-chan let her coating fade that Shirou remembered to breath, his knees trying to give out from under him as he edged one foot back and caught onto the doorframe to steady himself, “Holy shit…If that’s what the old geezer was talking about then I think he might’ve had a point…Koshiro, is that what the geezer was on about?!”

                Koshiro pushed his glasses up his nose with a small smirk, “I’ve only met a small handful of such unbreakable wills. If you aid in the forging, then yes Yamato-san, I believe we will be able to forge a rather impressive blade.”

                Yamato grinned from ear to ear and then something occurred to her and after a moment of contemplation she whipped her kanabo out and around to present it to Shirou with a dead serious expression, “This is Takeru. He’s been one of my two most treasured possessions since I was a child. He was forged in Udon, and he’s never let me down. Even against my father, Takeru’s never bent, warped, nothing. He’s never given so much as an inch to an enemy. There’s no weapon I trust more. Is this enough steel for the blade?”

                Shirou stepped forward and examined the kanabo with the respect it deserved, gauging the metal and quantity before looking up and nodding, “Yes, there’s enough steel here for two katana easily. I could probably make…” he paused to do a bit of math in his head, “By my estimate, there’s enough here for nine katana actually, and we’d probably still have a little bit left over. If you’re seeking to emulate Oden-sama, then I suspect that’s perfect for you yes?”

                Yamato’s breath caught and after a second, she looked up and met my gaze. Before I could ask what she was wondering, she turned back to Shirou, “Can we make a naginata? Bones needs a better weapon than that metal edged oar he’s been swinging around.”

                Shirou thought for a moment and then glanced over his shoulder at me appraisingly, “Do you have such a will in you as well?”

                I took a surprised breath and then let it out. “I haven’t trained mine nearly as extensively as Yama-chan has,” I replied cautiously, “Honestly I only even found out how a few weeks ago. I definitely can’t call it out at will like she can.”

                Shirou kneaded the bridge of his nose and sighed irritably, “Fiiine… I’ll have to let you into the forge to help draw out the blade, it’ll take three of us, but all you’re allowed to do is help hold it steady while she swings got it?! And the instant we’ve got it, you get right back out!” Without even waiting for my answer he turned back to Yama-chan, “Are you sure you want to do that? It’ll take enough steel for two and a half katana to make what you’re asking for.”

                Yama-chan thought about it for a second, clearly giving it quite a bit of thought, “Two and a half?”

                “Two and a half,” Shirou confirmed.

                “Can we make a pair of knives with the other half?” Yama-chan asked.

                Shirou held his hands up at varying distances, “Big knife? Small knife? Wakizashi?”

                Yama-chan thought about it for a moment, “Wakizashi.”

                “Two wakizashi,” Shirou declared, holding up two fingers.

                Yamato nodded with a pleased grin, “Perfect! Bones is crazy good with knives, he’ll be unstoppable with a pair of good wakizashi.”

                Shirou’s jaw dropped and he looked faintly scandalized before turning to give me a very level deadpan glare, “She loves you. A lot. You know that right?”

                I grinned, “I’m the luckiest man in the world, you think I don’t know it?”

                “I disagree!” Shirou snapped, a finger pointed straight at me as he clarified, “I got Rin, so I’m the luckiest.”

                I blinked and then threw back my head and laughed, “That’s the spirit! We’ll have to agree to disagree, but I can agree that you are indeed extremely lucky!”

                Yama-chan tilted her head in confusion, “Who’s Rin?”

                “My/His wife,” Shirou, Koshiro and I replied in unison.

                Yamato blinked in surprise and took that in stride before nodding, “Right, so how long will all this take to make?”

                “How fast can you swing?”

                Shirou’s question was answered by Yamato snatching a fly out of the air next to his head between her fingers and showing it to him.

                When Shirou managed to process what he had just seen, he nodded, “Eleven days. We’ll do your two katana first, then the naginata, then the wakizashi.” He was quiet for a moment and then, “Would you be willing to help me make one more katana after that? It’ll push us out to thirteen days, but it would mean a lot to me. I’ve already sorted the steel, it only needs to be forged. I’ll never have a better chance than I do right now with you here to help me forge it.”

                Yamato didn’t even hesitate, “Of course I will! You’re helping me make all this, you should definitely get to keep one!”

                Shirou gave her a small smile, “I won’t be keeping it. It’s for someone Rin and I care quite a bit about.” I noticed Koshiro stiffen a bit oddly at that, but his expression was carefully schooled to not give anything away. That on its own set off more alarm bells in my head than if he’d just come out and said whatever it was he was keeping to himself.
.

…That Night…

.

                Zoro dragged himself out the door of the cabin into the moonlight on deck. He headed for the back railing, intending to lean against it and get some air. The cabin was far from the worst place he’d slept, but the heat from the oven as Sanji cooked to keep a ravenous Luffy fed was starting to make it unbearable.

                Zoro pulled up short as he found Reiju calmly tossing bits of what he could tell from the smell to be raw meat into the water behind them… with dozens of immediately recognizable fins cutting through the low waves behind them. Zoro gulped as Reiju glanced over her shoulder.

                Reiju sighed, set down her bowl of meat and walked over to wrap her arm around his midriff and his arm over her shoulder to help him over to the rail without a word. It wasn’t until Zoro was sat down and she had picked her bowl back up to resume feeding their aquatic entourage that Reiju spoke, “Next time you want to move around, say so. I’ll help you. You shouldn’t aggravate your wound. By my estimates, it will be a little under two months before you’re fully healed. You shouldn’t try to move around by yourself for at least the next week, and no physically strenuous movement for at least a week after that. Whatever you do, do not scratch that wound. You’ll open it back up if you do and if I have to redo your stitches, I will be severely peeved. Tell me if it begins to itch, and I’ll numb it to where it won’t.”

                “Aren’t we heading into a major fight?” Zoro asked warily, already suspecting Reiju’s answer.

                “You will be staying out of it,” Reiju declared succinctly, “If I suspect you’re going to ignore doctor’s orders, I’ll drug you to the gills so that you can’t even move, let alone fight. By Bones’ estimation, there are only four fishmen strong enough to warrant your attention, and Sabo is more than capable of handling the one you would have. Besides, I understand Koala’s called dibs on Arlong herself for leading her former friends so far astray and betraying their captain’s dream, which means Luffy will be available to help me deal with absolutely anything else foolish enough to move within my sight.”

                Zoro thought about arguing, but Reiju’s ice cold, matter of fact tone told him quite clearly that she would absolutely follow through on that threat to drug him into a stupor. Zoro instead folded his hands across his stomach, Kuina’s sword set on his shoulder as he exhaled, “So…sharks huh?”

                Reiju smirked lightly, “Sharks.”

                “You’re a very scary woman, are you aware of that?”

                Reiju’s smirk turned to a true and very happy smile, “Thank you, Zoro!”

                Zoro wasn’t quite sure how to respond to her taking ‘scary’ as a compliment, so silence reigned for what seemed like a long time before he exhaled, “So, I was talking to Sanji…”

                “I imagine Bones came up?” Reiju mused as Zoro trailed off before adding with a small smirk, “Or was it about me? Both?”

                “Both,” Zoro admitted, “Sanji told me that this Bones guy of yours might have told you a bit about my past. He figures you read the letter that Bones left for him.”

                “Of course,” Reiju declared simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “I read every scrap of information he left me, including his rough drafts and scribbled over notes from where he was trying to get his thoughts in order.”

                “Trying to catch him slipping?” Zoro confirmed without looking up at her.

                Reiju was quiet for a moment and then went ever so slightly stiff as she turned to look at him, “I take it you found something?”

                “Something he was wrong about,” Zoro nodded, “Sanji let me read the letter Bones left for him, and I caught it immediately although I don’t think anyone else would’ve. It’s… he wasn’t wrong about the impact of it, and I don’t know that it will have any impact on events going forward, I certainly wouldn’t expect it to but… it’s still pretty important, especially since it means he’s not infallible. We figured you’d want to know, but, it’s kind of personal, so Sanji agreed to let me tell you.”

                Reiju knelt down next to him, watching him intently as she set aside the bowl of bloody scraps, “Tell me.”

.

…The Next Morning…

.

                I walked out of Shimotsuki Village towards the cemetery on the edge of town. I didn’t know much of anything about Japanese, or, here I suppose they’re Wanoan, funerary customs, but I knew there was something in there about offerings and burning incense. So I’d bought a couple of candles that smelled pretty good and two bottles of sake back on Mirror Ball Island, stuffed them in a sack and now I was headed out to pay my respects. It was a nice day, blue skies, enough puffy white clouds to keep the sun from beating down too harshly and a gentle breeze to stir the air… East Blue has the nicest weather of anywhere I’ve been.

                Also, Yama-chan and Shirou breaking apart Takeru for metal was an ear rending sound that I think anyone except for Shirou, who we’d discovered was deaf as a post in his right ear, would be glad to get out of earshot from.

                “Did you know Kozaburo-sensei?” Rin asked with a smile as she led me towards the cemetery with a basket of flowers. Rin was a very nice lady, nice enough to make up for Shirou’s grumpiness and they’d both turned out to be excellent cooks, something Yama-chan and I were very glad of since they’d agreed to let us stay with them.

                I shook my head with a small smile, “I did not. I know him by the reputation of his blades and legacy alone.”

                “Well, those were the two most important things to him,” Rin declared before pausing in front of a very nice marble headstone, “This is him. Sensei, you have a visitor! Don’t let him sass you too much,” she added with a wink, “He’s ornery but he means well.” She snickered with a quick glance at the headstone and it wasn’t hard at all to imagine Kozaburo’s spirit complaining loudly as Rin headed off, “You two have fun!”

                I waited until she was gone over the hill to whichever graves she was here to visit and then I plopped down cross legged, “Well Kozaburo-san, I’m afraid I don’t know much about how they do funerals or pay their respects in Wano. I know how Oden did it, but I understand that got one hell of a reaction too.” I pulled out the fist bottle of sake and two of the three cups, “That said, Oden was one hell of a man, so I don’t mind emulatin’ him a little bit.”

                I poured Kozaburo’s ghost a cup and set it over on his tombstone for him. He probably couldn’t do anything with it, but if he could see it, I’d hope he appreciated the gesture. I raised the cup I poured myself, “To adventure, dreams, freedom and the Land of Wano!”

                I downed my cup and sighed, “It’s a hell of a village you made here Kozaburo. It’s really nice. Ah but you don’t want to hear about that, you want to hear about what your masterpieces have been up to! Enma went on to be wielded by one of the greatest swordsmen of his generation! Maybe the greatest! Kozuki Oden himself used it throughout his adventures! He clashed with the likes of Whitebeard and Gold Roger! He cut open the great white boar known as the Mountain God! In his final battle he used Enma to leave a permanent scar on Kaido! An Oni King with hide stronger than steel and the power to turn into a dragon! If it hadn’t been for a dirty trick, I think Oden would’ve made Enma as true a dragon slaying blade as Shusui!”

                I took a breath and exhaled with a small sigh, “Your other blade, Wado Ichimonji, and those two you made for Zoro, their new wielder’s history isn’t quite so illustrious yet, but Zoro has certainly tested them! Why just a few days ago, he faced off against Hawkeye Mihawk! The Greatest Swordsman in the World!” I let that hang in the air for a moment before admitting, “Admittedly he got his ass handed to him, but he made Mihawk take him seriously and draw Yoru! Yeah, one of the Twelve Supreme Blades! Those two you made Zoro broke all to pieces when Mihawk came at him for the finisher, but Wado Ichimonji held true! I bet there wasn’t even a good nick in it!”

                “So Zoro lost huh?”

                I turned in surprise, I hadn’t heard anyone come up, but sure enough, there was a young woman in a pale kimono with long dark hair and midnight blue eyes that could probably rival Mihawk’s for intensity observing me from a wheelchair not ten feet away. She was actually extremely pretty, not quite as beautiful as Yama-chan or Reiju I’d say, but I’ve been informed I’m biased.

                I nodded, “Got beat like a drum is my understanding. That said, Mihawk was impressed enough with his potential that he vowed to hold onto his spot as the best until Zoro comes and takes it from him. That’s about the highest praise Mihawk could give anybody I think.”

                “Is Zoro okay?” she asked, “There’s no way he walked away from a fight like that without a scratch on him.”

                I shook my head, “Far from it. My understanding is that Mihawk cut him open from here,” I pointed to my hip and then dragged the finger up to my opposite shoulder, “To here.” I noticed the look of immediate horror and concern on her face and quickly added, “Don’t worry he’s fine. Mihawk wasn’t trying to kill him, just give him one hell of a scar. I don’t know how deep it was, but I know Zoro will be back on his feet in a few days at most. Hell, he’s probably up walking around already!”

                The woman gave me a measuring look, “How do you know all this?”

                I glanced away, “I uh…might have Mihawk’s snail number and got the rundown straight from him along with some other friends who were there to see it. As far as I can tell, Mihawk’s actually tickled pink over the whole thing.”

                The woman blinked in surprise and then smiled a little crookedly, “Huh, you don’t say?” She tilted her head back and looked up at the sky, “Way to go Zoro.”

                She was quiet for a moment and then she looked back at me, “My father said you’re planning to meet up and sail with Zoro in Loguetown if you can? Would you tell him I’m proud of him and can’t wait to see him again when he’s the World’s Greatest?”

                I nodded, heavily intrigued by this new friend I’d never have even guessed at, “Of course. Ah, I just realized I haven’t asked your name. Who should I tell him is waiting for him and pleased as punch with him throwing down against Mihawk?”

                She started slightly as she realized she hadn’t given me her name and then smiled, “Oh, right. My bad. I’m Koshiro’s daughter, Kuina. Zoro’s my boyfriend.”

                I smiled, “Oh alright, that makes it eas- wait, what?!”

Chapter 10: Chapter 9

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…~~~…

                “Badipadipadip! Badipadipadip!” Sabo pulled the ringing Transponder Snail from his pocket and lifted the little microphone, “Sabo here, talk to me.”

                “Sabo,” came a very subdued voice with a very dour expression behind the sickle shaped white moustache and the little tricorn that popped into existence on the snail.

                “Hey Bones, what’s up?” Sabo asked me cheerfully.

                “Have you all made it to Arlong Park yet?” I asked tensely.

                “Nooo…we should be there tomorrow I think,” Sabo replied, “What’s wrong?”

                “Check for prisoners when you get there and evacuate them before Luffy brings the place down with Arlong’s head, or Koala, whoever’s giving him the beating he deserves,” I instructed him.

                “Prisoners?” Sabo asked curiously.

                I think my eye might’ve been twitching, “We’re in a timeline that I would’ve thought extremely unlikely. I’ve just learned that someone I thought was dead is alive but in a wheelchair, and if I can get her to the right doctor, may be good as new in a few months. If she’s alive, then who else might be? I don’t know, and I’m having a very difficult time not panicking over what other of my information might be off or just flat out bollocks.”

                Sabo suddenly had Zoro right next to him eyeballing the snail like it had personally offended him. I know this because my snail lost its hat and blonde hair in favor of green hair and no hat as Zoro snarled at me, “If you hurt her, I will tear you apart.”

                That actually took me a second to process and then I erupted as all my fear and panic turned into indignation in an instant, “WHY IN THE FLYING FUCK WOULD I WANT TO HURT THE DAUGHTER OF MY HOST?! PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT SHE’S A PERFECTLY NICE YOUNG LADY AND I’M ALREADY CONSIDERING HER A FRIEND, WHAT KIND OF HEARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT DO YOU THINK I AM?! I DON’T HURT ANYBODY WITHOUT DAMN GOOD REASON, AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS ARE COMPLETELY OFF LIMITS! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO HURT MY FRIENDS OR MY FRIENDS’ FRIENDS! PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT I HAVE DONE TO MAKE ANY OF YOU WARY OF ME! WHEN HAVE I NOT BEEN TRYING TO BE HELPFUL TO ALL OF YOU?” Then I returned to my normal volume, “Ok, except for the gag about Luffy catching the bird, that was hilarious, but also rather important to keep Buggy’s men from catching and hurting Nami.”

                Zoro looked twitchy and completely taken aback. Then he glanced off to the side and Sanji took the mic to explain, “Your knowledge of us is highly suspicious to put it lightly. You being able to seemingly engineer events from who knows how far away is deeply unsettling, and with your motives being unknown, we can’t really trust you. Your predictions have been on point thus far, except for the thing with Kuina, but that makes things even more unsettling since we know basically nothing about you. You’re a good enough liar that Reiju couldn’t catch you slipping, and Reiju’s good. It’s my understanding that you’re a skilled enough fighter to be a member of Cipher Pol, and from what I’ve been able to gather, your entire skillset and ability to set up these events like you have points straight to it since nobody with less scope of influence than the government could possibly set this up. Even if we weren’t in questionable standing with the law, you’d still be suspicious as hell.” He took a drag of his cigarette, “The worst bit is that we have no idea what you want or why you care about us.”

                I stared at the snail and Sanji through it for what felt like a long time, “Didn’t Reiju tell you what my deal is? You’ve clearly been told a fair bit about me, how did she not tell you that?”

                “She told us you’re utterly insane, in love with her, probably the strongest guy she’s ever met and scarily accurate,” Sanji explained, “But we’re hearing you married that World Tour hottie, Sabo’s telling us there’s a martial art that Cipher Pol agents know to make themselves bullet proof which you also know, and the letter you left me doesn’t read like it was written by a madman.”

                His words left me at a loss for a moment and I glanced around at images in my minds eye trying to figure out what he was on about. Then it hit me and I burst out laughing, “OH THAT SNEAKY FANCY PANTSED FUCKER! THAT’S HILARIOUS! OH MY GOD I WISH I COULD SEE KAIDO AND BIG MOM’S FACES WHEN THEY HEAR THAT!”

                It took a second for me to stop laughing but when I did, I exhaled, “Okay, thanks I didn’t know Mihawk was doing that. I needed that laugh. Oh, tell Luffy that Coby is a Marine now and training under Luffy’s grandpa. If Luffy looks horrified, assure him that Coby will be fine, Garp won’t kill him. Beat him half to death training him sure, but he won’t kill him.”

                “How do you know that?” Zoro asked cautiously.

                “Because I just saw him the other day in a Marine uniform trying to remind Garp that he was a Marine and not a preacher,” I explained with a grin, “God that was funny…I don’t know what Mihawk paid Jango to do that, but it wasn’t enough. Anyway, my only goal was to find something I could care about so I could feel alive again, and I have. I’m helping you guys out with intel because I can and with the stakes of some of your fights, especially your upcoming scrap with the Arlong Pirates, I don’t like how close you guys came to losing, so I gave you that intel and sent Sabo and Koala your way to hopefully tip the odds a bit more in your favor.”

                I sighed, “If it’s really freaking you all out that bad though, then fine. I’ll withhold the rest of my information and let you all stumble through on your own from now on. Good luck, you’re going to need all you can get.” KA-LICK! I hung up.

                Zoro, Sanji and Sabo all stared in shock at the snail as it stared blankly back at them. After a moment Sabo let out a long low whistle, “Man, you guys really pissed him off. Koala and I were both scared as hell and ready to attack him on principle when he came in looking like Aegis Zero, Koala even offered to kill him for bringing up her past, but he still came and saved us from an ambush. For him to be so fed up he’s actually willing to drop you guys like a hot potato? Yikes.”

                “Well, it’s still a good thing right?” Zoro mused, “No more mystery man predicting our every move and puppeteering events from who knows where.”

                “Yeah,” Sanji agreed, “It can’t be a good thing to have somebody knowing our every move like that, especially if it’s somebody we don’t know and can’t trust.”

                It was right about then that they realized Sabo was looking at something behind them and they both went pale as ghosts upon hearing a click-click! Click-click! They turned around and found Reiju cracking her knuckles, giving them a look that made them both wish they were fighting Mihawk instead. “Did I just hear you two cost us an extremely valuable bordering on priceless informant? Sabo, don’t go far, I want that snail number when I’m done with these two.”

                “Yes ma’am,” Sabo replied before springing up and darting past her to leave Zoro and Sanji in the prow of the boat to her very not-tender mercy.

                “Now then,” Reiju smiled in a very frightful way that turned into a death glare as she demanded frostily, “Explain.”

                “W-well, he… um… I thought you didn’t trust him!” Zoro stammered.

                “I didn’t trust him because what he was saying sounded a thousand times too good to be true,” Reiju agreed, “The instant his advice led us straight to Sanji, I realized he actually was telling the truth. I’m still not sure about the whole parallel world thing, but everything else he’s said, except for the thing with Kuina, has been completely accurate, and he called to inform us of his error immediately upon realizing it.”

                “W-well, what if he’s planning to turn us in?!” Sanji asked.

                “For what?” Reiju asked sharply, “We haven’t done anything illegal.”

                Zoro raised his hand timidly, “Um, I carved up Axe-Hand Morgan.”

                “Who was in gross violation of Marine code which makes him a criminal and completely viable for punching, slicing and kicking with or without hob nailed boots,” countered Reiju, “Do you notice that we’ve only fought pirates thus far? Sabo and Koala have done quite a bit illegal, but the rest of us are in the clear as far as the law is concerned unless they can prove that Sabo and Koala were on this boat with our consent.”

                Zoro and Sanji were both quiet for a moment at that and then Sanji exhaled, “Look, we’re just trying to protect you. I… understand that you trust him now, but I still don’t. I’ve seen way too many slimeballs who shower pretty girls with gifts and everything they’ve ever wanted and then wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. One of my regulars was killed by a guy like that. I know you’re upset with us, but the last thing either of us wants is for something like that to happen to you.”

                “And we’d tear him apart if he tried to hurt you,” Zoro agreed.

                Reiju considered that for a moment and then exhaled as she ran a hand through her hair. Zoro and Sanji gulped and then Reiju smiled softly, “Alright fine, I forgive you two idiots. Also, I think I just came up with a fairly good way to figure out if Bones actually cares about us or if he’s just trying to get in my pants.”

                “What’s that?” Sanji asked curiously.

                “I’ll ask him to still meet us in Loguetown, and when he does, I’ll find a bed and rock his world. If his help dries up after that or he turns on us, then we’ll know that’s all he wanted and we can kill him afterwards or he can join us if he’s actually sincere,” Reiju explained with a grin, “We can have you two, Luffy and Usopp on standby in case things go south. Gin, Johnny, Yosaku, Sabo and Koala too if they’re still with us.”

                “NO WAY!” Zoro and Sanji roared in unison. Koala nearly collapsed clutching her stomach cackling and Sabo had to hide his face in his hat while Usopp, Johnny, Yosaku and Gin’s jaws hit the deck.

                Luffy tilted his head in confusion and looked at Sabo, “Sabo, what’s Reiju talking about that’s got everybody so worked up? Why would Bones want to wear Reiju’s pants?” Reiju started laughing too as an image of me asking if her pants made my butt look fat sprang to her mind. Koala had to hang on to the railing to keep herself upright, and every man aboard looked at Luffy like he was insane. Sabo looked and felt like he was dying inside as he realized he was going to have to give Luffy the Talk.

                Reiju snorted as she managed to quell her laughter and walked over to Luffy, catching him by the hand and pulling him along, “Come on Luffy, I’ll explain it.”

                “Is it hard?”

                “Not at all, trust me.”

                Luffy wasn’t sure why that prompted another gale of laughter but if Reiju said it was okay, it was. “Okay.”

                So everyone was left staring as Reiju dragged Luffy to the small boat’s cabin. Gin blinked, “Damn, maybe I should take up being a loveable idiot…” He narrowly dodged Sanji’s kick to his head, “Relax, everyone here’s thinking it.”

                “Speak for yourself,” Koala grinned as she hurried over to listen at the glass, “I wanna hear this! Sabo, we may need to hold Sanji back if this gets too spicy.”

…

…Inside the Little Boat’s Cabin…

…

                Reiju sat down and gestured to the bench across from her, “Ok Luffy, sit down and we’ll start with what you already know. What’s the difference between boys and girls?”

                Luffy sat down, “Ah, girls are pretty, boys are tough.”

                Reiju nodded, “That’s right, what else?”

                “Ah, girls wear dresses and like flowers. Guys wear pants and beat things up.”

                Reiju nodded, “Very good, now how about on a physical level? What’s different?”

                “Um, boobs,” Luffy declared after a moment of thought.

                Reiju sighed with a faint smile, “Yes Luffy, boobs. There’s one other very important difference. You know your family jewels?”

                “Yeah, what have those got to do with anything?”

                “They’re what make you a boy,” Reiju explained, “Women don’t have those. Instead they have boobs and instead of a shaft, they have a tunnel. The tunnel is made for the shaft to go into, and it feels very good for both the boy and the girl to have the shaft in the tunnel. Everything clear so far?”

                Luffy nodded, “I think so.”

                Reiju smiled, “Good. So here’s the most important part, if the shaft is properly stimulated, it produces the seed for a baby. If that seed goes into a girl’s tunnel, then she can have a baby. That’s why they’re called Family Jewels, they can help you start a family.”

                Luffy blinked and stared blankly for a few moments until that managed to process. Then he frowned, “So, if I want to have a kid, I need to stick my shaft into a girl’s tunnel.”

                Reiju nodded, “And it needs to be a girl you think highly of and get along really well with, because the kid will have a lot of their mother’s characteristics too. They won’t just be a tiny version of you.”

                “Sooo…what’s this got to do with you and that Bones guy?” Luffy asked slowly, then he blinked. His eyes went cartoonishly wide and his jaw dropped to his chest, “EHHHHHHHH?!?! YOU TWO ARE GONNA HAVE A KID?!”

                Reiju sighed with a small smile, “No Luffy, I’m not planning to have any kids yet and my abilities allow me to make sure I won’t, but putting the shaft in the tunnel is still extremely fun. The more attractive you think someone is, the more fun you can have with them if they like you back. It’s also something you should only do with people you think highly of, so it’s…kind of like the ultimate compliment for someone to be willing to do with you. However, for some people, it’s just a fun thing to do with people they consider good looking. That’s what’s called getting in someone’s pants.”

                Luffy thought for a moment, “So, this Bones guy… wants to get in your pants?”

                Reiju nodded, “Definitely. However, what we don’t know is whether he wants to just get in my pants, or if he actually cares about me and thinks of me romantically. If he just wants to get in my pants, and doesn’t care about me, then he’ll leave us alone if I let him get in my pants, and we can beat him up if he doesn’t. If he actually cares though, then he’s a very good friend who we should appreciate.”

                Luffy nodded, “Okay…so why were Zoro and Sanji so upset about it? It seems pretty straightforward to me.”

                Reiju smiled, glad Luffy was understanding, “Zoro and Sanji are upset because they don’t want anyone who doesn’t truly care about me to get in my pants. I think Bones cares, but if he doesn’t, then I’ll have given him what he wants with nothing to show for it. It would be like…” Reiju thought for a moment to come up with a metaphor Luffy would understand, “Like me giving away a lot of my very best meat to someone for a lot of treasure, and them not paying, eating half of it and tossing the rest of it in the sea like it was worthless.”

                Luffy’s eyes went wide and then Reiju actually shivered as something like a wave of pure fear erupted out of Luffy as he growled, “WHO THE HELL WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

                Reiju nodded, keeping her expression carefully schooled to not distract Luffy while she filed away the little tidbit she had just learned, “Exactly. I think Bones cares about me and deserves a reward for helping us so much, but Sanji and Zoro don’t want to risk it.”

                Luffy thought about it for a moment, and thought very hard. Reiju could tell from the blush and sweat that he was putting a truly herculean effort into thinking. After a moment, Luffy smacked a fist into his hand with a very proud smile, “Right! I’ll just have to meet him in person! If he’s a good guy then everything’s fine, and if he’s a bad guy, we’ll kick his ass, tie him up and hand him to Grandpa! Zoro’s a bounty hunter, so we can even make a lot of money doing that!”

                Reiju smiled, “Yes, I think that’ll work.”

…

…Outside the Little Boat’s Cabin…

…

                Zoro and Sanji looked at Sabo, “Is he a good judge of character?”

                “One of the best,” Sabo replied, “Luffy might not be the smartest guy around, but his instincts are second to none. Growing up alternating between the jungle and the lawless district will do that, and Ace and I made absolutely sure he could spot a snake with or without legs a mile away.”

                Meanwhile, Usopp, Gin, Johnny and Yosaku were covered in sweat (though he didn’t realize it, Usopp was the only one not severely light headed) and asking Koala if she perhaps knew what that wave of fear that came from Luffy was since she’d looked impressed by it.

                “That’s what’s called Conqueror’s Haki, or the Color of the Supreme King in some parts of the world,” Koala explained, “It’s a one in a million thing, but those that have it almost always go on to be somebody noteworthy. In the first half of the Grand Line or the Four Blues, it’s a surefire sign that somebody’s a powerhouse, but you just about can’t throw a stone without bonking somebody that has it or works for somebody who does in the second half of the Grand Line. I don’t suppose I should be surprised Luffy has it given who his grandpa is, but for him to get so worked up over meat is still kinda funny now that I think about it,” she mused.

                As Usopp, Gin, Johnny and Yosaku questioned whether or not she was serious, Reiju came out and asked Sabo for the Transponder Snail and my number.

…

…A Moment Later…

…

                I picked up the snail’s mic, still in a horrible funk and declared gruffly without looking at the snail, “Bones here, talk to me.”

                “I’m sorry,” Reiju declared simply. My head snapped around so fast my neck almost popped. I must have made quite a face because she giggled at me and damn it how was she able to turn me on and make my foul mood vanish that quickly?! I suppose it could’ve had something to do with the fact it was the first time I’d heard her laugh, or maybe the apology was what did it. It probably had a lot to do with how ridiculously sexy she is.

                So of course, my response was a supremely eloquent one: an equal parts brief and befuddled, “Hah?”

                Reiju’s smile softened a little, “I’m sorry I doubted you. It was rational, I know you’re smart enough to understand and agree, but you were as good as your word. I have my brother back, I have friends, I’m free and happy and I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough. Please forgive Sanji and Zoro, I heard what they said to you. They were just feeling a little overprotective. You understand right?”

                I took a moment to process that and then suppressed a little shudder of emotion to huff lightly, “Yeah, I get it.”

                A faintly worried look entered Reiju’s eyes, “Are… we still on for Loguetown? Luffy wants to meet you.”

                The breath went out of me all at once. The very things I’d wanted upon entering this world were being dangled right in front of my nose! Reiju’s affection and a spot with the Strawhats! Well, two out of five anyway...

                …Which made what I had to say next a lot harder.

                “I can still meet you in Loguetown, but I can’t join the crew. Not yet,” I declared softly even though it felt like yanking flesh from my bones, “Some things have come up.”

                Reiju couldn’t have looked more stunned if I had reached down the snail’s throat and slapped her. She took a second to recompose herself and then with a little sad tone in her voice, “I…I see. You and World Tour then?”

                I snorted, “Yama-chan actually prefers women, I just happen to be the incredibly lucky exception. She’s made it very clear that she’ll jump in the sack with both of us at the drop of a hat. No, the reason I can’t join you yet is because I’ve promised to get…is Zoro listening?” Reiju glanced over to the side, “Yes he is.”

                I nodded, “Good. Oy Zoro! There are doctors in the Grand Line who can fix Kuina’s back. She’s going to walk again. You lot are headed into a right unholy shit storm the instant you enter the Grand Line, so Yamato and I are going to get her to those doctors and keep her out of the line of fire you guys are stepping into. Once she’s healed, we’ll catch up to you.”

                There was a stunned silence on the other end and then Reiju asked, “Um, what sort of shit storm?”

                “Is Luffy actually going to let me tell you what’s coming?” I asked, “He’s pretty touchy about spoiling surprises.”

                “NO! Let us find out on our own!” Luffy suddenly cut in.

                I chuckled, “Alright then. I’m sure you guys will be fine. I’ve already seen you win once, I think you can do it again. Just uh…keep plenty of drinking water handy. And bug repellent if you go into any jungles. You can probably cook up something to keep bugs away can’t you Reiju?”

                “Yeees, why do we need insect repellent?” she asked cautiously.

                “Ever heard of Kestia?”

                Reiju went ghost white, “Oh…”

                I nodded, “Yeah. Bug repellent. I still kinda like you lot, I’d like for you to all make it through this alive,” I declared before explaining, “I can’t say much more without spoiling the surprise, but if you guys don’t encounter a very large whale upon entering the Grand Line, LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY. If you see the whale, things are on track, everything’s going to be fine. If you do not see the whale, then head for Whiskey Peak, which if you don’t encounter the whale may be called Misty Peak. I can’t believe I’m having to honestly consider the possibility.”

                “Um, why not?” Reiju asked curiously.

                “It’s a possible variation of events from a timeline I’d have called so unlikely as to be ridiculous, yet here I am, sitting next to Zoro’s girlfriend who suffered something much more brutal than being dead and yet is still alive and will soon be up walking around again,” I explained with a sigh.

                I heard Zoro squawk something I didn’t understand in the background and then Kuina sighed, “Yes Zoro, we’re official. Do I really have to spell that out for you?”

                Everything was quiet on the other end for a moment and then, “YAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

                It took a second for Reiju to explain, “Um, he’s on top of the ship’s cabin dancing with a big smile on his face. Somebody stop him please, he’s going to open his wounds up like that.”

                Kuina developed a very proud little smirk over that. I nodded, “Yep. Makes sense. Anyway, I’ll save any further heads ups until you’re on over into the Line. Ah, except for one thing. I can’t remember if I left it in the notes I left you. After you beat Arlong, Reiju, if you have any way to contact the Navy, let them know that Nezumi’s crooked and taking bribes to cover up pirate activities. If you want to avoid about half the trouble you’ll find in Loguetown, you need to make sure Marineford knows what went down with Arlong because Nezumi WILL drag your names straight through the mud. If Luffy complains, tell him his grandpa is nearby and WILL find him and jump him if he hears Luffy’s got a bounty. You’ll be a lot better off flying under the radar for as long as you can. Actually…” I thought about it for a moment, “…No, that was actually really important. Don’t need to miss that. Forget I said anything, I’ll make sure Garp has other things to worry about.”

                Reiju felt a shiver run down her spine as unknown to her I pulled out an atlas I’d acquired back on Park Island with a vicious grin, “What sort of things?”

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                “GET OUT OF MY WAY! I’M GOING TO KILL ARLONG!” the young boy brandishing an admittedly decently sized knife shouted in a shrill and teary voice, “HE KILLED MY DADDY, SO NOW I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!”

                All the recently orphaned kid saw was a blur of motion before Nami’s bo staff slammed into his jaw and sent him sprawling. The boy barely had time to register what had happened before a shockingly strong to be so slender hand curled into the front of his shirt and yanked him up. A pair of gold eyes bored into his from mere inches away, burning with a fire that sent shudders down the boy’s spine and made him feel like a very small mouse confronted with a very large cat.

                “Get in line,” Nami hissed before snapping in a much more audible tone, “NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND DON’T EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND HERE AGAIN IF YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY ALIVE!” In a movement too smooth for any but an extremely practiced eye to spot, she sheathed her bo staff and withdrew a handful of money that she tucked into his waistband as she grabbed it and adjusted her grip on his shirt. Then she picked him up, spun and bodily hurled him down the road away from the pirate stronghold he’d been trying to break into. “BEAT IT BRAT!!!”

                The boy flew fifteen feet and skidded probably another ten before pushing himself up on his hands and giving Nami a wide eyed look of confusion. In that instant, the mouse and cat metaphor would’ve been a lot stronger, because that’s what the boy scampered off like without another word.

                Nami snorted and turned, pushing through the gate and strolling in. A loud voice called out, “Hey! You’re back from your long trip!”

                Nami covered the icy hate in her heart with a raised eyebrow and a smirk as she walked like she owned the place across the low path erected over the top of the massive pool that filled the courtyard and opened into the sea beyond. At the other end of the path was a lawn chair, sat like a throne by a massive being. Covered in rough blue gray skin with a texture like sandpaper, the pirate was ten feet and five hundred pounds of muscle with webbed fingers, claws and flipper feet, and a massive dorsal fin. Between beady red eyes full of malice and rows of razor sharp shark teeth in a grin that was far too wide, jutted a literally eight inch long nose that belonged on a cruel harpoon. Mangy black hair, damp with brackish old seawater flowed past his shoulders from under a brimless fur lined hat. He was wearing an expensive yellow cabana shirt, open to reveal an angry red marking of a sun, that if one looked closer they’d realize to be a burned on brand rather than a tattoo.

                This, was Arlong the Saw.

                “The mansion is unguarded as always,” Nami mused as she approached.

                “SHAHAHAHA! Who would be foolish enough to attack ME?” Arlong laughed, “How was your harvest?”

                Nami put on her best fake smile as she placed a hand over her heart, “Brilliant, but I feel a strange emptiness in my heart.”

                “SHAHAHA! That’s rich! You been reading poetry?!” Arlong cackled, “Betrayal is your specialty!”

                “Oh? You think so?” Nami asked.

                The hidden meaning of her words flew straight over Arlong’s head as he threw his arms wide and bellowed, “MEN! ONE OF OUR OWN HAS RETURNED! PREPARE FOR A FEAST! WE’RE HAVIN’ TUUUUUNAAAAAA TONIGHT!”

                At his words the pool erupted as the dozens of fishmen sleeping in it burst to the surface, cheering, whooping and hollering with glee.

                Nami hid the little shudder of worry that tried to shake her like a leaf in the wind, Reiju, Luffy…I hope you all know what you’re getting into…

                Then Arlong looked over at her and she had to fight down a flinch as Arlong’s massive webbed hand landed on her shoulder, “By the way Nami, did you have any trouble with Buggy the Clown? The papers said you were involved in quite a battle to chase him out of Orange Town, alongside the grandson of a legendary Marine, the strongest bounty hunter in the East Blue and the runaway princess of one of the most advanced military powers among all humans.” Nami wasn’t sure if she went as pale as she felt she should have as Arlong grinned that razor toothed smile at her, “Sounds like you’ve got quite a story to tell us!”

                Thinking fast she bit out, “Buggy’s men were minutes away from gangraping me, those three showed up in time to save me. Can we not talk about it, please? I can still feel those sick circus freaks’ grimy hands on me.”

                Arlong’s eyes went wide and his grip tightened so much that Nami was certain she’d have a bruise from it, “What?”

                “That damn clown knew I was there and had his men jump me the instant I unlocked his treasure chest. I don’t know how he knew,” Nami lied easy as breathing, letting her fear fuel her feigned terror at the made up memory, “I had one eye on him the entire time, it was like he had eyes in the back of his head! Nobody’s ever spotted me, but he did! I, he, how did he know?! Arlong, you’re from the Grand Line, you know about these things! How the hell did he know?!”

                Arlong let go of her shoulder and thought for a second, “It sounds almost like he’s got Observation Haki…it’s a power anyone can learn, very common in the second half of the Grand Line. All the strongest pirates know it or know someone who does, but what’s a user of Observation Haki doing in the East Blue with such a low bounty?” Then he shook his head, “No matter. Tomorrow morning, we’ll set out in force and scour the East Blue until we find him and tear that clown apart. NOBODY touches my crew, especially not some shitty big nosed human getting handsy with our precious cartographer.”

                He straightened up and threw his hands wide as he faced his crew, “MEN! LISTEN UP!” As the cheering and festivities screeched to a halt, he declared at the top of his lungs, “TOMORROW, WE EMBARK ON A GREAT CRUSADE! BUGGY THE CLOWN HAS ATTEMPTED TO ENSLAVE OUR DEAR CARTOGRAPHER NAMI! TO USE HER AND HAVE HER USED AS A MERE PLAYTHING FOR HIS CREW OF WORTHLESS MAGGOTS! SHE BARELY ESCAPED WITH HER LIFE AND DIGNITY IN TACT! WILL WE ALLOW THIS?!”

                “NO!!!” The fishmen roared back in unison.

                “WHAT WILL WE DO TO THAT FOOLISH CLOWN WHO BELIEVES HIMSELF OUR SUPERIOR?! WHO BELIEVES HE CAN TAKE ONE OF OUR OWN AND CLAP HER IN CHAINS AS BRAZENLY AS HE PLEASES?!” Arlong shouted.

                “KIIIIIIIILL HIIIIIM!!!” The fishmen howled in unison.

                “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT!!!” Arlong roared, “TOMORROW MORNING WE SET OUT TO SCOUR THE EAST BLUE! WE DO NOT STOP UNTIL EVERY SOUL IN THESE WATERS KNOWS THE SIMPLE TRUTH OF THE WORLD! WE ARE SUPERIOR!”

                “YEAH!”

                “WE ARE FREE!”

                “YEAH!”

                “AND ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MESS WITH US WILL DIIIIIE!!!” he roared.

                “YEEEEEEEEAH!!!”

                “SO EAT! DRINK! HAVE YOUR FILL AND REST WELL! BECAUSE TOMORROW, WE GO TO WAAAAAR!!!”

                “YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!”

                Nami trembled and felt tears of terror leaking from her eyes. Luffy, Reiju, I hope you guys really are right behind me…these monsters will die the entire East Blue red with blood if they leave here!

…

…In the Grand Line, Not Long After I Talked To Reiju …

…

                Badipadipadip…badipadipadip… Ain glanced over at her Transponder Snails with a raised eyebrow, then both eyebrows raised as she saw which snail was ringing. Ain had four Transponder Snails, two normal, two not. Of the two normal snails, Ensign Senny was for official Marine business, the one she received most of her orders from. The other one, Cousin Vinny, for personal use, rarely if ever rang. Ain didn’t have much of a life outside of her job.

                The other two were for dealing with the Navy’s informant network. They were both hooked to an extremely rare White Transponder Snail to make any calls made on them untappable. It was one of the only ones the entire Navy had, and Ain couldn’t have been prouder when Grandma assigned the snail she affectionately referred to as Agent Blank to her. The snail on Agent Blank’s left, Sly Guy, was for reporting to Grandma, or for her subordinates to report to her. Sly Guy got used pretty often.

                The last snail, Mr. Sleepy, rarely got used and normally just dozed. Mr. Sleepy only got calls once every three months, like clockwork, to extend an invite to one of the Blue Circle’s get-togethers. If Mr. Sleepy rang any other time, it meant something big enough for the Blue Circle to contact her was going on. Mr. Sleepy had rang a few weeks earlier to arrange the meeting on Disco Ball Island, which Ain still blushed lightly at the thought of. He wasn’t supposed to ring again for another six and a half weeks.

                Ain answered Mr. Sleepy, “Talk to me.”

                Mr. Sleepy grew a sickle shaped white moustache and his cute little face twisted into a grin as mischief blazed in his eyes, “If I handed you the location of Golden Lion Shiki, the details of the secret weapon he’s been preparing since he busted out of Impel Down, and his plans, do you suppose you could get Garp on the case? You’ll want to send Aokiji too. Maybe Kizaru. DO NOT send Akainu, there are too many civilians involved. The last thing anyone needs is that lunatic getting in a fight with one of the old legends near a civilian population.”

                Ain froze and then, “I think that can probably be arranged. Would you mind a conference call with my superiors? If what you’re about to say is true, then it’s rather important. They’ll want to hear it straight from you.”

                “I’m agreeable to that,” I replied with a small smile.

                Ain’s breath caught, “Alright, let me patch you through.”

                She set the mic aside and quickly turned to Sly Guy, “Call Grandma.”

                A moment later Vice Admiral Tsuru picked up, “I presume you have something to report?”

                “I have just received an offer of information from one of my sources, I think you want to hear this yourself,” Ain explained quickly.

                Tsuru nodded, “Very well, let’s hear it. Who’s talking?”

                I grinned, “Well, well, well, Vice Admiral Tsuru the Great Staff Officer. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance. My name is Bones, I suppose you might have heard of me.”

                “I’m not surprised you know who I am, but I am surprised you consider it an honor to speak to me,” Tsuru replied with a raised eyebrow, “Not many pirates would.”

                “Anyone who can make Donquixote Doflamingo turn tail and run is worthy of respect I think,” I declared, “But I’m actually calling about a different blonde piece of shit. I’m sure you remember Shiki the Golden Lion.”

                “Ain, write this down,” Tsuru instructed quickly before returning her attention to me, “Continue.”

                “I have two conditions for sharing this information,” I explained, “I would like your assurance that Vice Admiral Garp will be sent to deal with Shiki promptly, and that Admiral Akainu will not be allowed anywhere near this case. Kizaru, Aokiji, anyone but Akainu.”

                Tsuru raised an eyebrow, “May I ask why?”

                “Shiki has an entire village enslaved and everyone except the elderly and children acting as forced labor in his fortress,” I explained, “I have zero faith in Akainu to consider the needs of the innocent. He’d burn the entire place to the ground without a care for how many of Shiki’s victims he torched. I’m a bit leery of Kizaru, but Aokiji at least I’m pretty sure can be trusted not to repeat Akainu’s genocide of the civilians on Ohara. A Navy intervention is worse than worthless if the officer commanding it allows the wholesale slaughter of those they are meant to be saving. That’s also why I want Garp there, him I can trust to keep this from turning into a massacre of innocents who’ve already suffered enough.”

                Tsuru was quiet for a moment and then, “You seem awfully concerned about civilian casualties for a pirate. This seems at odds with your behavior during the Goa Incident.”

                “You mean where we bankrupted an entire city of scum who’d burn hundreds if not thousands of men, women and children alive for the crime of being poor and in the process bumped off the man planning to assassinate their king and crown prince?” I asked bluntly.

                Tsuru blinked and then asked, “…What? I know of the Gray Terminal Incident, it’s not something we’ve ever been able to prove, but what’s this about a planned assassination?”

                I snorted, “Prince Stelly was planning to bump off the king and crown prince to pave his own way to the throne. He’d have succeeded before the next Reverie. I don’t much care for any of Goa’s so called ‘nobility’, but the thought of that moronic little shit on a throne sickens me. He’d run a kingdom into the ground faster than you could ask what the hell happened. That’s neither here nor there though. What say you Vice Admiral, interested in putting down one of the greatest threats to the world at large before he can get going?”

                Tsuru nodded, “Yes, of course. I’m afraid I cannot guarantee Akainu will not be deployed though.”

                “Then go get Sengoku,” I declared calmly, “I seem to recall him having a something of a grudge against Shiki, he’ll want to hear this. I’ll keep shut and deal with it myself if the alternative is Akainu slaughtering civilians again, but I’ll let him scuttle half your fleet first.”

                Tsuru went pale, “I’ll be right back.”

                A moment later it was Ain’s expression reflected by the snail, “Oh my god Bones are you out of your mind?! You can’t just say things like that! Your bounty will probably double again making threats like that!”

                “Wasn’t a threat,” I snorted, “That’s just incentive to work with me. When Shiki’s ready to move, he’ll storm Marineford and scuttle every ship there by flinging it into Marine HQ to keep Sengoku from being able to come after him and announce his return.”

                “How do you know this?” Ain asked quietly.

                “Seen him do it,” I replied, “Was quite the spectacle. Have to give him credit, he knows how to make a declaration of war.”

                Ain gulped and then the snail grew an afro and glasses. “Yes, who is this?”

                “This be Bones,” I replied with a small dry grin, “Little birdy told me you want the dirty on Shiki the Golden Lion.”

                Sengoku glanced sideways in surprise, I would suppose at Tsuru and then turned back to me, “Yes, we would like that information, although I expect you have a steep price in mind for such valuable information.”

                “Hardly,” I replied, “I want to make sure Akainu stays the hell away from it. I refuse to be responsible for another Ohara incident. Send Garp, send Kizaru or Aokiji, hell, go yourself if you feel like it, but if I hear about Akainu getting anywhere near this where he can fire bomb the civilians Shiki’s got enslaved in his fortress like the rabid mutt he is, there will be absolute hell to pay. I’m not overly eager to make your life hell, but those people have suffered enough, so let’s keep Akainu far away from slaughtering any more civilians, ‘kay? I would very much like for Garp to be in charge of this operation, he’s one of the few Marines I would sincerely trust to protect the innocent lives on the line here.”

                Sengoku grimaced, “I see. Not the sort of reasoning I’d expect to hear from a pirate, but very well. I will make sure Akainu is not put on this case and assign Garp to it. Now,” he blasted Conqueror’s Haki through the snail, “TALK.”

                I snorted with a small grin as the pressure faded, “Nice try, but I make love to a Conqueror on a daily basis. It’ll take more than a bit of Haki to bother me. You will find Shiki at the island of Merville, he has levitated an entire archipelago to keep his secret weapon hidden and contained. He’s using a drug made from a plant called IQ to forcibly evolve the animals of the archipelago into an army of biological superweapons. Every one of these animals is strong enough to put a hundred million beri pirate on the run. He has thousands, possibly tens of thousands of these monstrosities. Two or three of these beasts unleashed on a civilian population would be like dropping a bomb capable of leveling a city. They are all supremely aggressive and will attack anything that moves. The beasts are kept out of Shiki’s palace by a plant called Pop Greens, they produce a foul and toxic pollen that the beasts won’t go near. Destroy his hedge of Pop Greens, and his own beasts will demolish his fortress just like they would anything else.”

                “At the bottom of the archipelago is a village of innocent civilians,” I explained, “Shiki has kidnapped all except the children and elderly to act as his crew’s servants in his palace. When he is through with them, he will let them go home to be slaughtered as a demonstration to those he intends to recruit. Be prepared for the possibility of him trying to use his victims as meat shields.”

                “He is currently scouting crews to add to his own. He will find fifty willing to join him, but by my reckoning one or two vice admirals should be able to sweep through every last one of them with relative ease. Shiki’s going for quantity over quality with his recruits whether he admits it to himself or not.”

                I exhaled, “His end game for his army of monsters is the wholesale demolition of the entire East Blue, both as one final fuck you to the ghost of Gold Roger and as an act of terror to force the World Government to bend the knee to him or see the same fate befall the rest of the world. He’s picking what he thinks is the softest target in the hopes of catching you all off guard with the staggering amount of blood he aims to spill. If he is not stopped, it will be a slaughter of international proportions. When you move on Merville, I recommend sending Aokiji for crowd control of the monsters and Kizaru to combat Shiki’s mobility. You’ll need to evacuate the civilians prior to taking down Shiki, once he’s down for the count, the entire archipelago will drop. The civilians might be prepared for it, but I wouldn’t risk it.”

                After a moment Sengoku asked, “Is there anything else?”

                I shrugged, “Nothing I can think of. Go in with the expectation that everything that moves aside from the civilians can and will kill you, and don’t bother Magellan when you beat Shiki. Just kill him and have done with it. Shiki’s already gotten out of Impel Down once, don’t give him another chance. Oh, and speaking of Magellan: if you want to prevent the destruction of Marineford and the rise of a new Pirate Emperor worse than any of the four currently active, tell Magellan that Shilliew does not need to continue breathing even one more second. Execute that son of a bitch before he enables the break out of every inmate in Level Six. You have less than a year to do this. I wouldn’t wait even one extra second.”

                Sengoku’s eyes were bugged out slightly, “Why are you telling me all this?”

                “Do I strike you as a man who likes slaughter Fleet Admiral?” I asked quietly, “I’m not. Were it not for the World Nobles and the horrific things permitted and even encouraged under their rule, I would likely be on the side of the law. I’ll not side with the cancer that’s killing this world,” I declared softly, “But I won’t see innocents massacred either. Please, stop Shiki before he hurts anyone else.” I hung up.

…

                I exhaled and looked over at Kuina who was staring at me slack jawed. I exhaled, “Well, that was fun.”

                Kuina picked her jaw up off the ground, “You’re serious.”

                “Always if I haven’t prefaced it with ‘Hey you wanna hear a joke?’,” I confirmed before taking a drink.

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                Sengoku sighed, “Commodore, do you believe we can trust him?”

                Ain measured her words for a moment and then, “Honestly sir? Yes, I believe him wholeheartedly. I would pray it to be the ramblings of a madman, but…” She shook her head, “I don’t think he would draw our attention like this unless it was urgent. He’s too cautious, and even my informants agree he is scarily well informed. I wouldn’t put it past him to be one hundred percent correct about everything he said.”

                Sengoku was quiet for a moment and then, “Very well. You will assist with this mission. If it turns out to be a wild goose chase, you will be relieved of duty as handler of our informants. If it proves to be true and we aren’t able to catch him, then you will still be relieved of duty as handler of our informants because if he’s got this much information, I want you in deep cover with his crew to find out everything he knows. This is not punishment Ain. This is something I can’t trust anyone less capable than you with. You already have an in with them, you’re the best candidate hands down.”

                Ain reeled back as though struck, her expression going slack with horror as she went ghostly pale, “W-WHAT?!”

                “Did I stutter Commodore?” Sengoku asked levelly.

                “N-n-no Fleet Admiral,” Ain answered shakily, “I…” she swallowed, “I understand. May I ask who is being sent to catch him?”

                “He doesn’t want Akainu on the Shiki case?” Sengoku asked with a malicious grin, “Fine, I’ll put his least favorite Admiral on his case.”

Chapter 11: Chapter 10

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…~…

                I paused pushing Kuina’s wheelchair back towards Shimotsuki Village as I heard my Transponder Snail ringing. I pulled it out and opened the little case I’d gotten for him, turning the little microphone around to answer, “Go for Bo-…Ain are you alright?!”

                If the snail was reflecting her expression properly, then no, she very much wasn’t. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face was all twisted up like she was in horrible pain and dammit if someone was hurting her this much they were going to pay. In. BLOOD. I take to a lady being hurt about as poorly as Sanji does.

                “You. Fucking. JERK!” Ain snapped, “This will cost me my entire career if they don’t catch Shiki!”

                My blood ran colder than Aokiji, “They would black ball you for a piece of information not panning out?”

                “YES YOU IDIOT!” Ain bit out angrily, “If this doesn’t pan out then it’ll be a multi-billion beri fuck up! That’s the kind of shit that gets people dishonorably discharged immediately! It’s like losing an entire battleship! Except this’ll be worse because it’ll be seen as letting Shiki get away when we have the element of surprise and good intel!”

                I was quiet for a moment and then, “If they black ball you Ain, use your Devil Fruit power and come to me and Yamato. You’re always welcome with us.”

                Ain’s tears stopped and her jaw dropped in surprise, “Wh-what? You…”

                “Have you got a pen and paper?” I asked quietly, “I have some ideas about your Devil Fruit that if you can pull them off, will make you so indispensable an asset that they’d have to be insane to black ball you.”

                “Wha…you want to help me?” Ain asked in shock.

                “The offer stands Ain,” I declared, “You’re our friend and if you get black balled over the mishandling of my information then it’s as much my fault as your clown superiors’. And yes, they’d have to be clowns to even consider giving up an asset as versatile and formidable as you, so don’t even try to argue with me about that. If I had realized you were going to be put in the line of fire for being the one to set up that meeting, I’d have gotten a hold of Sengoku or Garp myself.”

                I ground my teeth in frustration, “Does the incompetence of the Navy know any bounds? Geez, this is ridiculous.” I exhaled angrily, “No matter. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to ask some questions about the limits of your Devil Fruit. I think I have a fairly good understanding of it as is, but I don’t know for sure if any of these ideas I’m about to give you will work. It’ll be up to you to determine what of them do and don’t work, but if I can help you in any way Ain, please, do not hesitate to ask.”

…

…Half an Hour of Brainstorming Later…

…

                After Ain hung up from our call, considerably more confident and optimistic about her future, Kuina looked over her shoulder at me, “Do you really think that was wise? What if you wind up fighting her some day, or if she faked all that to infiltrate your crew and milk you for information?”

                “Then I’ll know all her best moves because I came up with them,” I replied with a grin, “And if she’s a mole, then I’ll at least know from the get-go that the possibility is there. I’d much rather know if there’s a potential ticking time bomb on my ship than have the Marines send someone I might not recognize who could actually get the drop on me.”

                Kuina’s jaw dropped in surprise and then she snorted as a grin spread across her face, “That’s actually clever. Hey, why are we heading back to the village? Those two aren’t anywhere near done hammering yet.”

                “Well we have to let Yama-chan know about the change in plans,” I explained, “But also, I’ve got some sketching to do and wouldn’t feel right not offering you a roll back.”

                “I’m perfectly capable of getting myself back,” Kuina frowned up at me, “Don’t you dare start treating me like some kind of invalid. My arms and hands still work perfectly I’ll have you know.”

                I gently tapped her on the head with one finger, “Hey, you’re my friend right?”

                “Yes?” she pouted at me.

                I leaned down to look her in the eye, “I do nice things for my friends. Just because you don’t need help doesn’t mean I won’t still offer it. If you keep complaining, I will pick you up and carry you the entire way princess style in retaliation.”

                “Y-YOU WOULDN’T DARE!”

                “Try me,” I grinned.

                She did not.

…

…Twenty Minutes Later…

…

                It didn’t take us long to locate Koshiro, who blanched ever so slightly when he saw me pushing Kuina’s wheelchair. He left some of his older students to supervise the younger ones and beckoned us to a different room in the dojo. It wasn’t a large room, traditional Japanese (or I suppose Wanoan here, that’s going to take so much getting used to) décor. Hard wood floors with a little tatami mat that Koshiro moved over to and a little barrel of bamboo swords in the corner, all lit by a single lantern hanging from the ceiling.

                Koshiro sat down with his legs tucked under him and adopted a solemn expression, “So, I presume you have something you wish to discuss with me?”

                “Father, Bones says there are doctors who can fix my back!” Kuina exclaimed excitedly.

                Whatever Koshiro had been expecting, that wasn’t it. He looked to me in surprise, “Are you sure?”

                I nodded, “The doctors of Drum Kingdom are skilled enough to stick a man’s head back on after it’s been lopped off and save his life if they get to him in time. While a severe and old injury, I fully believe this should be reparable for them. Yamato and I are heading in the direction of Drum Kingdom, and I do not believe Yamato would object to stopping there.”

                Koshiro considered that for a moment, “I have not heard of this ‘Drum Kingdom’. Where is it? Somewhere in the East Blue?”

                I shook my head, “No, it’s in the first half of the Grand Line. It is the third island in its Log Route.”

                Koshiro sat forward, his brow now furrowed in concern, “How will she get back?”

                Kuina swapped a glance with me and then turned back to Koshiro, her expression firm, “Father, when I have my legs back, I WILL resume my pursuit of my dream.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head, “I know you believe my body cannot surpass a man’s. I will not argue this with you. We’ve argued about that enough, but my technique? My skill?”

                She opened her eyes and I swear a little bit of Conqueror’s Haki started to eek out of her, “I have long since surpassed every man on this island. I will surpass every man in this ocean, and then every man in this WORLD. I will go to the ends of the earth and beyond if I must. I will overcome this injury, I will overcome my limits, and I will overcome everyone and everything between me and the top. I’ve sat idle for too long Father. I refuse to let the world pass me by and leave my dream in the dirt any longer.”

                Koshiro exhaled and then stood up. He wordlessly walked over to the barrel of bamboo practice swords in the corner and drew two, “Bones-san, I understand you may think this cruel of me, but understand that I cannot stand the idea of sending my daughter into the perils of the Grand Line with only the assurance of a man I have just met that she will be safe. Also understand that my daughter is the single most stubborn person I have ever met, so I do not believe any amount or quality of words will sway her now that she has set her mind on a path.”

                He turned with the two bamboo practice swords in his hands. I realized what he was planning right then and thought to myself, You can NOT be serious… “So Kuina, if you are truly set on this course…” he threw her one of the bamboo practice swords, “Then I will have you defend your claim that you have surpassed me here and now!”

                I was opening my mouth to protest and call him crazy when Koshiro moved. Right behind and then passing the bamboo sword he’d thrown to Kuina, with his own clenched in both hands pulled back to in no uncertain terms bash the shit out of her. I cannot stress enough how quick and unexpected the movement was, and damned efficient at that. This was beyond a merely textbook perfect rush. All he’d moved to propel himself forward like that was a single foot, and he was on top of me and Kuina in an instant, his bamboo practice sword already coming around.

                My thoughts on the matter?

                HOLY JESUS FUCK HE’S QUICK! To be clear, I’d gotten used to processing things at the speed of Soru, and he still crossed that room almost too fast to see.

                A meaty smack rang out and caught me so off guard that I blinked.

                As my eyes reopened from the blink, there was a blur of movement. The bamboo sword Koshiro had tossed Kuina landed in her hand in the brief instant my eyes closed and as I reopened them was immediately flicked to meet his throat. Koshiro’s own blade had been stopped as Kuina caught both of his hands in her left, that’s what the meaty smack had been.

                The entire world seemed to be holding its breath, Koshiro leaned back with his whole body curved up to avoid the bamboo pressed to his throat and his own still half chambered from where Kuina had stopped it mid swing. Kuina was giving him a steady look, but it was as strong and steady a look as I’d ever seen. If they were real blades, Kuina could’ve skewered his head like a shishkebab or had it clean off with the slightest movement.

                In that simple exchange, it had been made incredibly clear that Kuina was indeed vastly more skilled than her father to have been able to anticipate, catch and counter his strike like that with what appeared to be complete effortlessness.

                Is this how Zoro felt when Mihawk blocked his Oni Giri with a pocket knife? I wondered to myself in no small awe of the skill I’d just seen displayed. I might’ve been in the body of a small titan, and I had always liked to consider myself no slouch in terms of combat skill, but compared to what I had just seen? I felt like a complete amateur. It had been a long time since I’d been humbled like that. I realized then and there, no matter how bad I was, I still had a LONG way to go…

                Finally, Koshiro dropped his bamboo sword, and it clattered to the ground, clearly conceding his defeat. He stepped back and then took another step back before getting down on his knees, “I see.” He bowed his head to the floor, “I am sorry my daughter. I have allowed myself to be so blinded by my worry for your safety that I couldn’t see that you’ve surpassed me. Please…” his voice wavered, “Forgive this foolish old man for wanting to protect his baby girl!”

                Kuina tutted and reached over him to poke him with the tip of her bamboo sword, “Get up Father, there’s nothing to forgive. Quit making a scene.”

                Koshiro let out a tiny little laugh and then sat up, “Very well.” He looked at me, “Bones-san, I will be entrusting my daughter to you and Yamato-san. Is there anything you will require for your voyage?”

                I took a second longer to snap out of my stupefied awe at the combat prowess I had just seen and shook my head like a dog shaking dry before replying, “Ah, yeah. Nails. A shit load of them. Our ship is barely big enough for me and Yama-chan, I’ll need to add onto it.”

                “Will you not also need lumber?” Koshiro asked in mild confusion.

                “If you can point me to some trees that nobody minds me turning into boards, I know a technique to create a razor wind like what you can produce from a sword, and another which can split stone, let alone trees,” I explained, “And frankly, I need to practice.”

                Koshiro nodded, “Very well, I believe Shiro-san has many nails, and there is a forest on the mountain to the east which I do not believe anyone will mind a few trees being cut from. Will this delay your departure?”

                I thought for a moment, “I’ll let you know tomorrow when I’ve had a bit more time to gauge my speed. This’ll be finnicky difficult construction, I’m not sure how long it’ll take. Kuina, would you mind letting Yama-chan know what I’m up to whenever she and Shiro-san finish for the evening?”

                “Yeah, no problem,” Kuina agreed with a smile, “I’ll be packing.”

…

…That Night, Shore of Shimotsuki Village…

…

                “Hey,” Yama-chan said quietly.

                Well, I say quietly. She said it loudly enough that I could hear her over my thumping in the bowels of our now considerably larger ship. Being able to drive nails and split boards in a single swing and move at bullet like speeds had made construction go ridiculously much faster. Already I had nearly doubled the length of the ship and was busily adding a new cabin. It still wasn’t much of a ship, still more of a long sailboat. We’d have to upgrade soon most likely, especially if we picked up more crewmates. Also, the thought of making love to Yama-chan in a spacious and luxurious Captain’s Quarters had entered my head during the design phase and a very large part of me wanted to make that happen.

                I hauled myself up out of the bowels of the ship and hopped down to the sand to meet her with a smile, “Hey Beautiful, how’s the forging going?”

                “You changed our course.” Yamato stated simply, with her arms crossed and the moon behind her making it difficult to read her expression beyond her faintly glowing amber eyes staring at me.

                The…simplicity of that statement warned me that it was a very dangerous patch of water I’d just sailed my butt into. I nodded, “Yes.”

                “Because you found me a sword master to teach me how to use two-sword style, who happens to be a distant descendant of one of the most legendary samurai to ever live, who needs to have surgery on an island you know of but don’t know anything about the route to aside from what’s on the map,” she continued.

                I nodded, so she knows WHY I was so sure she’d be okay with it, that’s a good sign… “That’s right.”

                “And you thought I’d be okay with it because it means we get an adventure where even you won’t know what’s coming,” she continued, still giving me that cold, flat stare.

                I risked another nod, “Right.”

                “And you’re modifying the ship right now so that we can fit my new kenjutsu teacher and have our ship hopefully hold up to the insane waters of the Grand Line,” she assessed.

                I gave her a thumbs up, “Right!”

                “And you have it up here on the sand so you can work on it without risk of it sinking?”

                “Yes.”

                “And you’re going to drag the mattress out here so that I don’t drive your hips through the floor thanking you for being the best boyfriend I could’ve ever asked for right?” she finished as a broad smile finally broke through her carefully maintained poker face.

                It took me all of half a second to register what she’d just said and then I grinned broadly, “I love you so much.” Then I turned and dove back into the bowels of the ship to drag our mattress out.

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                Reiju snapped awake as the sudden dead certainty settled over her that something was very wrong. She sat up and hurried outside, yanking on a shirt to look out over the moonlit waves. A few moments of looking confirmed her fears, “Where are my sharks?”

                “You noticed him too huh?” Koala asked as she walked around from the bow.

                “Noticed who?” Reiju asked warily.

                “The Sea Beast,” Koala declared nervously, her eyes following something beneath the waves, “He must’ve smelled the chum, seen the sharks and thought it was a buffet. He’s not Grand Line or Calm Belt big, but he’s probably one of the biggest predators in the East Blue right now.”

                Reiju’s blood ran cold as she remembered what I’d written her a warning about in what I now realize must’ve been a rather small and seemingly throw away line for her to have forgotten about it so thoroughly:

On your way to the Conomi Islands, be careful with making too much ‘food’ smell. The Arlong Pirates have a Sea Bull the size of several houses stuck together. He’s amphibious, carnivorous, EASILY large enough to sink you, and has a VERY good sense of smell. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji and unless I’m mistaken you yourself should be easily strong enough to dismantle it. Do keep your eyes peeled though, there won’t be a lot you can do if he doesn’t pop his head up to say hello before trying to eat you.

                Reiju’s eyes went wide and she turned to Koala, “Hey Koala…I think I may have fucked up.”

                Koala made a face nervously, “Maybe he’s full OH SHIT!”

                That was the point where Mohmoo surged up and ate half of the boat, specifically the middle half where everyone else was sleeping, leaving only Reiju and Koala not swallowed whole as they scrambled to cling to the back end of the boat which was now nothing but flotsam.

…

…Meanwhile, Elsewhere…

…

                “You’re sure about this?” the immense man asked the young beauty with dark blue hair. The office they were in was dark and smokey, lit only by the moonlight filtering in through the window.

                “Positive sir, if this is something only I’m in a position to do, and there’s even a chance it’ll work, then isn’t that a risk we have to take?”

                Her superior nodded, “Very well. We’ll commence the operation in the morning.”

…

…Later That Night, A Different Elsewhere…

…

                The young woman in the Marine Cadet’s uniform yawned widely and sat down in the corner, “Oh fuck this, I’m going to sleep.”

                “B-but you can’t! We’re on watch duty!” her partner exclaimed, his panic at the idea clearly showing.

                “Yeah, and you can watch me sleep,” she replied crabbily, “God Coby, I know this is important to you, but I got shanghaied into it.” She pulled her knees up and set her chin on it, glaring lightly at her tiny, pink haired (only) friend, “Come on, we’re in the safest harbor in the entire East Blue, on the ship of quite possibly the most widely feared Marine in the world, and definitely the most feared in the East Blue. There’s not a pirate in the East Blue crazy enough to attack Loguetown, especially not with this ship sitting in the bay. Besides, haven’t you heard the rumors? We’re heading into the Grand Line in the morning! This may be the last chance to get a good rest we ever get!”

                Coby exhaled, “I know Mary, and… for what it’s worth, I’m sorry you got forced into this. You shouldn’t have been a pirate bu-”

                “Shouldn’t have been a pirate?!” Mary exclaimed, surging (quite literally) to her feet to snatch Coby up by the lapels as her legs resolidified, “My whole FAMILY was pirates! We didn’t call ourselves the Trump SIBLINGS for laughs you know! Bear King was my dad, Pin Joker and Skunk One were my uncles and Boo Jack was my little brother! You really think I could’ve done anything else with my life?! THEY WERE ALL I HAD!” she ranted, not caring that anyone who cared to listen would be able to hear her.

                It was right about then that Coby realized Mary had tears gathering in her eyes as she sank to her knees, still clutching his lapels, “They were all I had…”

                Coby for his part, was thoroughly freaked out. Not only was a pretty girl talking to him, she was crying on him and…needed comfort? Well, it is the job of a Marine to help those who need it, he thought to himself, and, even if we just met a few days ago and she’s not very helpful and kind of rude…I’d like to think she’s my friend. On that thought, Coby lifted his arms to comfort her, and as he took a deep breath to try and say something comforting, he nearly choked on a waft of thick cigar smoke.

                Mary looked up as Coby began coughing and then looked around as she realized there was indeed smoke in the air, only to freeze as she saw the figure sitting on the railing, surrounded by a cloud of chokingly thick white smoke. With a cigar jutting from either corner of his mouth like tusks, Captain Smoker of Loguetown regarded the two cadets coolly.

                “I thought you looked familiar,” Captain Smoker declared calmly. Mary actually held onto Coby a little bit tighter in fear, Captain Smoker was the most feared Marine in the East Blue when Vice Admiral Garp wasn’t around. Loguetown and the surrounding waters had an extremely low rate of violent crime, with a pirate presence of exactly zero, and it was entirely because of Captain Smoker. Even the East Blue Mafia, a near omnipresent force in the criminal underworld if you sailed anywhere in the western half of the East Blue, wouldn’t go near Loguetown because of him.

                Captain Smoker let his arrival and words hang in the air for a moment as he took a drag of his cigars and then exhaled, “Vice Admiral Garp is vouching for you by having you in his forces, so I’ll trust his judgment. You’re a logia right?”

                “Y-yessir,” Mary answered shakily, “The Syrup-syrup fruit, I turn into syrup.”

                Captain Smoker was quiet for a moment, “Is the syrup you produce edible?”

                Mary blinked and then blushed, “Um, I…I’m not sure. I’ve, never tried feeding it to anyone. Wouldn’t that be kind of weird sir?”

                “Devil Fruits that can provide food are extremely valuable, no matter how they do it,” Captain Smoker declared, “When I was a rookie I got deployed to the New World, and our ship wound up in pursuit of a ship belonging to one of the four most powerful pirate crews in the world. There were several powerful devil fruit users aboard that ship, do you know which one was the highest priority for the Marines?”

                “The cook?” Coby guessed.

                “Right,” Captain Smoker nodded, giving a small upturning of the corner of his mouth that might have passed for a smile of approval, “Specifically Gourmet Knight Streusen of the Big Mom Pirates. He has the power of the Cook-cook fruit, he can turn anything into edible food. Incredibly disgusting food by all accounts, but edible. His ability is part of what’s allowed the Big Mom Pirates to maintain their empire in the New World because he can turn anything into food stuffs that maintain the unperishable qualities of whatever it was prior. Who cares what food tastes like if you’re starving at sea?”

                “So if my syrup is edible…” Mary mused cautiously.

                “You could be an incredible asset to the Marines,” Captain Smoker finished, “Especially if that syrup can be used as a preservative or for fermentation. Unlimited grog?” he shrugged, “I don’t know, but you should look into it. Suggest it to Garp, he’ll probably love the idea of his steaks never going bad. Just don’t bring up jelly donuts or you’ll wind up his personal cook until he retires.” He was definitely grinning now, Coby decided.

                “Anyway,” Smoker continued, “Seeing as how you’re a Logia, or more likely what I’ve heard called a ‘Special Paramecia’ since syrup probably doesn’t count as an element. I think that’s a pretty pointless differentiation, a shark’s a shark doesn’t matter if it’s black or blue or white or orange with striped. At any rate, since the only other Logia types you’re likely to meet are either pirates or the three Admirals, unless you meet Prince Grus who’s been stationed in the New World for ages, I thought I’d stop in and give you some pointers if you’re up for it.”

                “Y-you want to help train me?” Mary asked in surprise.

                “My mentors hammered it into me that it was imperative to pass on any knowledge we could to younger Marines. Besides, I just had to discharge my star pupil for being a danger to herself and those around her, and I need something to get my mind off that,” Smoker declared before wafting off the rail into a standing position, specifically a fighting stance, “So, you want to learn how to stay alive?”

…

…The Next Morning, Just Before Dawn…

…

                I was woken up by the Transponder Snail ringing, my hand snapped out to where I’d set the little guy and scooped up the transceiver, “Bones here, talk to me.”

                “Bones, I got your number from Reiju,” Nami told me shakily, “She said you know everything, so I need you to tell me where Buggy the Clown is. Arlong is going to hunt him down and kill him and his entire crew. Every fishman in Arlong Park is ready to go, they just need a heading. I asked them to hold up because I thought you might be able to save them some time.”

                I sat bolt upright as what she’d just said registered with me, “WHAT?!” I shook my head and thought for a second, “Tell them to head for Loguetown. Buggy’s heading there because he thinks Luffy will go there to restock supplies before heading for the Grand Line. Tell them to lie low and stay in the water. If they don’t want Marine interference in the form of an incredibly pissed off Logia who’s only not a Vice Admiral because he doesn’t like following orders, they’ll keep it out of Loguetown and do their business with Buggy while he’s still at sea. I imagine they’ll want to do that anyway since they hold the advantage in the water. They’ll need to make a beeline straight there and not stop for anything if they want to catch him in time.”

                “SHAHAHAHAHA!” Arlong laughed from what I had to guess was right behind Nami, “I like your style human! That’s a good plan! You have my thanks, would you like to join my crew?”

                “My bounty is ten times yours for a reason,” I replied bluntly, “And I’m pretty sure Fisher Tiger wouldn’t approve of your shenanigans over there in Conomi.” I let that hang in the air for a second as I saw Arlong’s eyes bug out and added with a grin, “You don’t like my words because you know they’re true. You want to fight about it? Meet me on the Eastern shore of Longbuck Island, I’ll make shark fin soup out of your ass. You want some? Come and get it.”

                Arlong was quiet for a moment but I could tell from his expression he was livid. After a moment he spoke, “You’re dead human. I will see you very soon.”

                Everything was quiet on the other end of the connection for a few minutes and after I heard a distant sounding splash, Nami told me shakily, “Reiju…Reiju said you were crazy, I didn’t realize how crazy. You’re, you’re really going to fight his entire crew?”

                “I’m going to slaughter his entire crew,” I corrected calmly, “Except for Hatchan, unless he just doesn’t know when to stay down. Now then, are you hurt?”

                Nami was quiet for a moment and then, “Emotionally or physically?”

                “Physically Nami, I know you’re an emotional wreck right now,” I told her gently, “I’m going to deal with Arlong, and I’ll find out what happened to the others. Are you and your village okay? Will you be okay if I bring you Arlong’s head?”

                Nami let out a very frightened, nigh hysterical laugh, “Y-yeah! That would be really something!”

                “Then I’ll do that,” I quietly assured her, “I’m going to hang up now and call Reiju to see if they’re okay, you go see Nojiko okay? You’re not in the best headspace right now, go hang out with your sister for a bit and I’ll call you back when I know what’s up with Reiju and the others okay?”

                “Y-yeah, sure…okay…I, I can do that…” Nami agreed shakily, still very clearly trying to hold it together.

                “Alright, you be safe Nami,” I told her gently, “I’ll call you back soon.” I gently hung up and immediately started dialing Sabo and Koala’s number since I knew Reiju was supposed to still be with them. I swapped a very worried glance with Yama-chan who had woken up in time to hear most of the conversation and was now sitting up looking about as worried as I was.

                The wait was seemingly interminable and I may or may not have been supremely fidgety as the pessimistic part of my brain started my mind racing a million miles an hour about all the things I was going to have to do if Luffy and the others had been taken out of the equation.

                Finally, the snail grew frazzled pink hair and its eyes turned blue. I breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh thank god you’re still alive…”

                “Yes, and I would appreciate a bit more weight being given to anymore sea monsters we’re going to encounter,” Reiju told me rather grumpily, “That stupid sea-bull ate all my sharks, bit our boat in half while everybody was sleeping on that half, and it took me and Koala ten minutes of fighting it underwater to make it cough everyone up. We’re taking turns rowing now because we haven’t got a sail anymore and we’re honestly lucky to have been able to salvage the lifeboat. I think we’ll make it to the Conomi Islands around midday. Are there any other potential unwelcome surprises we’re going to be running into?”

                “Well the biggest one is that Arlong and his crew took off about fifteen minutes ago headed for Longbuck Island,” I explained calmly, “Nami called me for Buggy the Clown’s location because apparently Arlong has taken severe issue with Buggy. I pissed him off myself enough to make him come after me first.”

                “Can you and Yamato handle him and his crew by yourselves?” Reiju asked wearily.

                I thought about snarking her, but instead simply nodded, she was tired and frustrated. Snark wouldn’t help. “It shouldn’t be too difficult. Who knows? We might even break a sweat.”

                Reiju sighed, “Well give him a few good kicks for me. We’re going to go pick up Nami, and…Luffy? Do you want to hang out at Nami’s house until Bones calls to tell us Arlong definitely won’t be coming back?”

                Reiju was quiet for a moment and then, “Luffy says yes. After that we’ll come meet you in Loguetown.”

                I nodded, “Probably for the best, if any of them get away from us, then you may wind up needing to deal with some stragglers.”

                “We’ll keep our eye out,” Reiju replied tiredly, “Good luck you two.” She seemed like she was about to hang up and then she paused, “Oh, can you tell me Nami’s number? I want to let her know we’re still coming.”

                I nodded and rattled off the number to her, “Give her a hug for me when you get there, I think she really needs one right now.”

                “Will do,” Reiju agreed before hanging up.

                I looked over at Yama-chan and gave her a small smile, “Sorry for waking you.”

                Yama-chan blinked at me in surprise and then blushed before gently swatting me, “Dummy, I don’t mind being woken up for important things… but…” she looked me in the eye, “Where’s Longbuck Island? Can we get there in time?”

                “Easy, it’s about two hours that way,” I pointed in the direction of Loguetown, “We’ll probably beat them there even if we take our time.”

                Then I reached over and grabbed the third sack of stuff I’d picked up on Park Island. There was one particular item I was looking for, and a moment later I found it and pulled it out, “Do you think I should use this?”

                Yamato looked at it warily, “Do you really think they’re strong enough to merit that?”

                I shrugged, “Well, no, but I mean it can’t hurt right?”

                Yama-chan thought about it, “I mean it’s up to you, but I don’t think you need it.” Then her stomach rumbled and she added, “What I need though, is breakfast.”

                She got to her feet and started heading back towards Shimotsuki Village before turning to glance back at me, “Are you coming?”

                “Maybe I just wanted to look at your gorgeous naked butt for a minute before reminding you about your pants,” I replied with a smile, “It’s very stare worthy.” Yama-chan blushed brightly as she realized she had indeed been about to wander off butt naked. She looked so cute I couldn’t help but ask, “How did I ever wind up with such a cute, beautiful, amazing girlfriend?”

                Yama-chan smiled, “I guess miracles can happen, but…” she walked back over and knelt down to kiss me, “I’d say it’s probably more to do with you helping me get everything I’ve ever wanted and…” she kissed me again, “…showing me that there was even more to want than I’d ever dared hope for and...” Another kiss and this was going to turn into a full on make out session wasn’t it? “…making me happy, for the first time in my life, to be me.”

                That… made my heart skip a beat and maybe I teared up a little and yes I wrapped her in a hug and yes maybe I lost track of how many times I told her I love her and how amazing she is. Yeah, we might’ve wound up completely forgetting we had somewhere to be, but surely nobody would be TOO upset about it right?

…

…The Next Morning, Longbuck Island…

…

                “GRAAAH!!!” Arlong roared as he paced and ranted along the beach of the uninhabited little spit of land called Longbuck Island, “STUPID FUCKING HUMAN! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE TRICKED US LIKE THIS! HOW DARE HE?! THAT COWARDLY VERMIN! I HAVE NOT BEEN BLUEBALLED THIS HARD SINCE THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE MERMAID CAFÉ!”

                The gathered fishmen watched silently, all in agreement but also privately trying really hard not to laugh as their leader completely and utterly lost his shit.

                Then Hatchan spoke up, “But Arlong, aren’t your balls always blue?”

                Arlong’s jaw dropped as he froze midstride. The entire crew was completely still, slackjawed and stunned for almost a full minute. Then Arlong flipped out as everyone in earshot collapsed to the ground howling with laughter. Hatchan did not have a good rest of the day, and was still laid out on the beach with a lump on his head when Arlong and company set off back for the Conomi Islands, having completely forgotten what they left for.

Chapter 12: Chapter 11 - The Shake Up

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…

…A Few Hours Later, Longbuck Island…

…

                Hatchan was shaken awake and as soon as he realized who was shaking him shouted in terror and scrambled backwards, “W-WHITEBEARD?!”

                “Where’s Arlong Hatchi?” Bones snarled.

…

…Half An Hour Later, Loguetown…

…

                Garp stood at the prow of his ship, sitting atop the massive figurehead in a way highly reminiscent of his grandson although neither of them knew it. The key difference was that Garp was looking back at the activities on his ship rather than out ahead. Things were going quickly as they made ready to depart.

                “I’m still not happy about this,” Garp grumbled into the snail he’d set on the figure head before him, “I want to make absolutely sure Luffy’s not become a pirate while I was gone. You’re sure this can’t wait Senny?”

                “I’m afraid so Garp,” Sengoku replied, “If it makes you feel any better though, Commodore Ain is testing something this morning that’ll make the Navy nigh unstoppable.”

                Garp raised an eyebrow, “Oh? What’s that?”

                “Larger scale application of my power,” Ain declared as she popped out of thin air in a pinkish glow a few feet in front of Garp, “Ready to go Vice Admiral? We’ll be returning to Marineford first to meet with the fleet.”

                “What sort of application?” Garp asked, “And where did you spring from?”

                “I’m able to return to any place I’ve been previously,” Ain explained with a smile, “So if I’ve ever been to a place, I can return to it at will. What I proved just now is that I can also return to positions relative to people I’ve met even if they’re somewhere I haven’t been. So since I’ve been this close to you before, I can return to being this close to you again at will. What I proved a few minutes ago is that I can move entire battleships and everyone on them with me when I go.”

                Garp took a moment to mull that over and then grinned, “That is cool! So after we beat Shiki you can bring me right back here to check on Luffy right?!”

                Ain nodded, clearly pleased with the praise, “Right!” Then her smile faded slightly as she leaned slightly to the side to get a better look at something behind Garp, “What’s that?”

                Garp turned and his eyes widened, “That…is a problem.”

                Rapidly approaching from the horizon was a massive wake, and in the space of a minute it had closed half the distance. As it drew closer Garp surged to his feet and roared, “ALL HANDS PREPARE FOR BATTLE!”

                The form at the front of the wake swerved as soon as Garp shouted, and Garp raised his eyebrow, “So you can see me huh?”

                Ain had a different reaction as the wave from the wake washed against the hull, “Holy shit, I didn’t know Bones was that fast!”

                Garp side eyed her as Bones disappeared around the corner of the island, “So that’s the one they’re calling Whitebeard Jr. huh?”

                Ain nodded as Bones rocketed off around the island, blowing waves apart as he smashed through them without slowing down, “Yes sir, but I don’t think he’s here to fight. He’d have tried to smash straight through the hull if he was.”

                “Tsuru said you know him, can you find out what he’s doing?” Garp asked.

                Ain saluted, “I can try sir, please be ready to fish me out if I miss or can’t catch him.” She glowed pink and then disappeared, reappearing hanging over the water in the middle of Bones’ wake. She teleported back to Garp’s ship with her heart hammering as she had only narrowly dodged falling into the sea, “That didn’t work…I can’t teleport in front of him or he’ll slam right into me. His body’s like solid steel, so with him moving at that kind of speed, it would be like getting hit with a you sized cannonball. Hang on, let me call him, maybe he or Yamato will answer.”

                She fished out Mr. Sleepy and quickly dialed Bones. She waited nervously, acutely aware of Garp looking over her shoulder expectantly. It took a moment but a few rings later Bones picked up, “Go for Bones.”

                “What are you doing charging up to Vice Admiral Garp’s ship like you intended to ram it?” Ain asked, “Doesn’t really seem like you to do something that reckless.”

                “I didn’t realize he was still there,” Bones replied, “Hi by the way. Is that your usual uniform? It looks very nice on you. I’m currently trying to chase down Arlong the Saw and his fishmen pirates, would you mind if I get back to that? I have to catch up to them before they make it to the Conomi Islands, and this was kind of in exactly the wrong direction but I didn’t know if they might come here first or not.”

                Ain blushed lightly, “Um, yes, please continue beating up pirates.”

                “Turn yourself in while you’re at it!” Garp added loudly.

                Bones glanced in the direction he thought Garp was, “Not happening Garp, there are too many things I still have to do. I’ve got tyrants to topple, pirates to pummel, lives to save! On that note, Luffy hasn’t got a bounty and therefore isn’t a wanted criminal. You can leave him be and go beat up Shiki no problem. Don’t be surprised if he turns in Arlong the Saw soon for the bounty.”

                Garp thought for a second, “I thought you were trying to kill Arlong?”

                “I am,” Bones replied, “but a pirate can’t exactly cash another pirate’s bounty to redistribute the money for rebuilding the towns decimated by that other pirate, now can they?”

                Garp took a second to process that and then burst out laughing, “ALL RIGHT! I LIKE YOUR STYLE! YOU GET A PASS TODAY BUT DON’T CROSS MY PATH AGAIN YOU SHITTY PIRATE!”

                “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Bones replied with a smirk before hanging up.

                “Your little boyfriend’s not bad for a pirate,” Garp told Ain with a grin.

                Ain blushed crimson, “HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! HE’S JUST ONE OF MY INFORMANTS!”

                Garp laughed and patted her on the shoulder, “Of course he is! Don’t worry, I won’t tell Tsuru.”

                Ain continued to blush and stammer denials for several minutes before Garp reminded her what she was there to do. Once he did, the entire battleship and everyone on it vanished in a flash of pink light.

…

…A Few Hours Later, Arlong Park…

…

                Arlong was still angry as he and his crew approached Arlong Park, they’d made quicker time on the way back since they’d been able to catch a northbound current. Now if only he could remember why they’d left. It had been nagging at him for a few hours, but he couldn’t stand to ask for help. Now though they were almost home and it still hadn’t come back to him, so he glanced over his shoulder, “Hey Kuroobi, Chew, why were we on Longbuck Island anyway? Like, what were we talking about before that human challenged me to a fight?”

                “Nami called him to get a location on Buggy the Clown,” Kuroobi replied dryly, “You were going to go make an example of him.”

                “He tried to get handsy with Nami, so you were going to slaughter his entire crew,” Chew added.

                Arlong had stopped in the water and just hung there for a moment before cursing, “DAMMIT! That other shitty human got me so distracted by bringing up Brother Ti, I completely forgot!”

                “It’s fine,” Kuroobi reassured him, “We can just chill out at the Park tonight and then set out again in the morning.”

                “Yeah,” Chew added, “We can ev- what was that?”

                Before anyone could speculate about what had just shot across the surface of the water with such force it created reverberations all the way to the sea floor fifty feet below, a wall of force blasted the sea away, leaving the Arlong Pirates hanging twenty feet above dry sea bed. They fell screaming to the sea floor, and though it was a nasty tumble, fishmen were made of sterner stuff, so it didn’t hurt them as bad as it would a normal human.

                Arlong picked himself up first, spitting mud out and shaking off the unexpected blow as his body switched back over to lungs rather than gills. “What the hell was that?!” He pulled himself back to his feet, “IS EVERYONE ALRI… What the hell?”

                Around them the sea had been forced open, creating a sort of arena with them at the bottom. “H-how…Is this a Devil Fruit?!” Arlong’s mind raced as he tried to explain the impossibility before him.

                “Blue Chasm,” declared a voice that made Arlong’s blood run cold. Arlong turned and saw a figure that made his heart skip a beat standing on an outcropping glaring down at him backlit by the setting sun, “Did you think I wasn’t coming?”

                Arlong tried to stay calm. He really did. He didn’t succeed, “W-WHITEBEARD?!”

                “You wish,” Bones declared murderously, then there were no more words, only screaming and death.

…

…Meanwhile, Inside the Courtyard at Arlong Park…

…

                “REIJU WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IS THIS GUY?!” Nami exclaimed as she recovered her voice and Arlong Park’s central tower collapsed in the background from the force of Bones using it as a backstop to change direction and stop the fishmen from reaching the shore.

                Reiju gawked for a moment and then set a faintly trembling hand on Nami’s shoulder, “That Nami, is what I’m talking about when I say ‘New World Bullshit’.”

                “That is so far beyond ordinary New World Bullshit!” Koala corrected in a minor panic, “I’m not sure the REAL Whitebeard could do that in shot!”

                “Nah, Grandpa could’ve done that, so Whitebeard should be able to as well,” Sabo mused before lifting his hat to reveal a bucket of popcorn on his head. Where he got it, how long he’d had it there, why it was under there, even Koala wasn’t sure. He took it off his head, set his hat back on his head and started eating as the screams of dying fishmen started to ring out from the exposed sea floor.

                “Splitting the water like that I mean,” he clarified as he fished for his next bite of popcorn, “the crazy bit is that the water hasn’t gone back yet. That’s the part I’m having trouble with. Maybe it’s a Devil Fruit? I mean, I guess he could be using his Haki, but I’d almost rather it be a Devil Fruit. Luffy if you steal my popcorn, I’m going to reintroduce you to my pipe.” Luffy retracted his hand.

                “Could Mihawk do that?” Zoro asked, his eyes twitching as he boggled at what he was seeing.

                “Probably wouldn’t be as wide since he’d probably use his sword,” Sabo mused, “But yeah, probably.”

                “I’ve got to get SO MUCH STRONGER…” Zoro declared as he sank to one knee.

                “Yep,” Sanji agreed, “Thank god my dream doesn’t require being the world’s strongest anything.”

                “Relax,” Bones told him calmly, “You’ll probably be the World’s Strongest Cook by the time Luffy’s Pirate King. So, who missed me?” As everyone realized Bones was standing next to them, the sea roared as it fell back into place. Bones just smirked.

                “Hey Bones, thanks for coming,” Sabo replied nonchalantly as though he saw the sea get split open all the time.

                “That was terrifying,” Koala declared in a voice of forced calm, “Are you sure you don’t want to join the Revolutionary Army?”

                “Parallel goals, separate route,” Bones reminded her with a smile, “Speaking of, oh where did I put it?” He rummaged in a very large sack that Usopp couldn’t help but notice had an awful lot of blood dripping out the bottom of it, “I know I put it in here somewhere…”

                Now that the sack had been brought to everyone’s attention, they couldn’t get its presence out of their minds. It was not a small sack, and the burlap was rapidly turning from brown to maroon as blood soaked through it and made a puddle at Bones’ feet. Whatever was in it was lumpy, and it smelled so strongly of recent gore that anyone not familiar with the smell or even just particularly sensitive to it would’ve been immediately very sick.

                Bones apparently didn’t meet that requirement as he was perfectly cheerful about pulling Arlong’s head out of the bag with a face still frozen in the horrified expression he’d been wearing as Bones quite literally knocked his head off his shoulders, “AHA! One Arlong head for Nami, as promised!”

                Nami shied away from the proffered head, “Um, that’s okay! I… really just wanted him gone, I don’t need the head!”

                Bones blinked at her, “Are you sure? It’s worth twenty million beris and Zoro being a famous bounty hunter can totally claim that for you.”

                Nami was suddenly much less reluctant about accepting the decapitated head of her long time tormentor. “Thank you!” she smiled gleefully.

                Bones held out the rest of the sack to Zoro, “The rest of these are to help with rebuilding anything Arlong and his crew tore up, can you make sure it gets to Genzo the sheriff?”

                “So, what do you want done with Arlong’s bounty?” Nami asked cautiously, because there was no way he was just handing her twenty million beris. Right?

                Bones looked at her and thought for a moment before smiling, “Can it be a down payment for an autographed copy of that Atlas of the Entire World when you get it finished?”

                Whatever Nami had been expecting, that wasn’t it. After so long being driven entirely by her mission to buy her village’s freedom, she hadn’t even given any thought to her old dream. Being handed a full fifth of the sum she’d spent the last ten years trying to gather was a sincere shock.

                To be handed the head of the monster that had murdered her mother and tried to take that dream away from her to twist and use as a weapon against the entire world, that was a miracle she had long since given up hoping for.

                For the same someone who did the first two to earnestly ask for nothing in return but to see her near forgotten dream complete, wholly believing that she would? Because he didn’t said ‘if’, she realized, he said ‘WHEN’, which means he considers it only a matter of time and hasn’t Reiju said repeatedly that he’s some kind of oracle? That was something she hadn’t even realized was a thing to be wanted but was overjoyed to have gotten.

                She was in fact so overjoyed that it moved her straight to tears, which distressed Bones and Sanji immediately. Nami wanted to tell them it was okay, they were happy tears, but the tears were having none of it.

                After about thirty seconds, Sanji had decided it was firmly Bones’s fault, and sea splitting haymaker or not, making a lady cry was grounds for an immediate connection of steel toed dress shoe to skull. So at thirty and a half seconds, Sanji was airborne. Bones stopped trying to frantically apologize as Sanji’s flying roundhouse kick connected to the side of his head.

                To Sanji’s rapidly dawning horror, despite putting all he had into it, the kick elicited nothing but a blink, a look of surprise and a confused, “Ow?”

                For all that Sanji had put every shred of power he could into it, Bones did not go flying as most did. His skull was not stove in, hell it hadn’t even moved his head. Despite the way Sanji had felt his own toes nearly jam from the impact, Bones looked like he hadn’t even properly felt it. He definitely wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t even offended judging by the look he was giving Sanji. If anything, Sanji’s mind churned up, he looks like he just felt a raindrop from a clear blue sky. Is that what it felt like?

                Sanji landed on his feet and Bones just blinked at him in confusion. Sanji couldn’t read minds but if he could he was certain he’d be hearing, Why on earth would you do something that pointless and stupid?

                It was incredibly awkward for a moment. Sanji was a hot blooded fellow, and not built for awkward silences. So when he didn’t quite have a good response to something, if it was a male, he had a go-to response: get angry. So that’s what he did, “DON’T JUST STAND THERE! SAY SOMETHING!”

                Bones was quiet for a moment and then, “Are you aware that your kick packs about the same amount of force as a 45 caliber pistol? It’s quite impressive. Actually,” he mused, “It may be more. This body seems to be getting stronger the longer I’m in it, so I’m not sure I can judge force accurately by impact feel anymore. I haven’t had been shot with a forty five again, so I’m unsure of how much stronger it is now than it was.”

                “My kick is way stronger than a 45!” Sanji protested, “I can stop cannonballs with my kicks!”

                “Actually a 45 round is typically faster, so an equivalently sized round would pack more force,” Bones explained, “But I haven’t been shot with a forty five in a few weeks, so perhaps my point of reference is outdated. Have we figured out whether Nami is crying happy tears or upset tears? Oh hey, she’s laughing.”

                Nami was indeed laughing, albeit still with watery eyes. She wiped her eyes, “I, I hadn’t even thought about it in so long…” She looked up at Bones with a genuine smile, “Thank you, yes, I’ll definitely give you an autographed copy when it’s done.”

                Bones smiled, “Wonderful, I’m looking forward to it.” Then he picked his head up, “Now let’s see, was there anything else I needed to do here? Ah, that’s right,” he turned to Zoro, “Kuina is very much looking forward to seeing you in Loguetown and she wants to go on a date. Also,” he turned to Luffy and Sabo, “Garp’s in Loguetown. I think he’ll be leaving soon, but, you’ve been warned.”

                Sabo and Luffy tilted their heads in unison and then looked at each other, “Shit.”

                “Luffy’s probably not actually in trouble since he doesn’t have a bounty yet,” Reiju mused, prompting Bones to jerk slightly.

                “Shit, shit, shit…that’s what I forgot,” Bones muttered as he fished in his pockets for his Transponder Snail, “Ah…Mmm…Eh…” he lifted his hat to scratch his head, “Um… Luffy, I can get you a thirty million beri bounty right now, which would be great for your reputation as a pirate, but it would make things a lot more difficult for you in Loguetown, and your Grandpa would beat you up because he doesn’t realize you’re a pirate yet. So, you can currently get away with him not beating you up on sight, but only because you don’t have a bounty yet. Alternatively, I can make sure you get the same reputation boost, but you won’t get a bounty and people won’t know right off the bat that you’re a pirate.”

                Luffy thought about it for a moment, “Will I be able to get a bounty later?”

                “I’m sure you will,” Bones replied, “You asked me not to tell you what you’ll find in the Grand Line though, so I can’t tell you why I’m certain, but I’m certain you will be able to get a bounty. Although, really I don’t think you need one, especially since it’ll make things a lot harder for you.”

                Luffy thought for a moment, “Harder how?”

                “Marines and bounty hunters will be chasing you, which I know you expected, but also you’ll be unwelcome in many ports if they see you are flying a Jolly Roger so you’ll have a harder time resupplying, and on top of that you won’t be able to cash the bounties when you beat up pirates you don’t like, so you’ll have less money for meat,” Bones explained.

                Luffy actually thought about it. He thought about it so hard his face turned red and he looked like he might pass out from the effort, which left Bones glancing to Sabo for confirmation that Luffy was actually okay. A moment later though, Luffy looked around, “Guys, what do you think? Bounty to declare we’re pirates or no bounty and we get money and meat?”

                “Booze too?” Zoro asked.

                “Of course booze too!” Luffy agreed, “I mean, more meat but yeah booze too.”

                “I vote for booze and meat,” Zoro declared.

                “Keeping our heads off the World Government’s chopping block certainly won’t hurt our odds of success,” Reiju mused, “Avoiding a bounty will do that.”

                “If not having a bounty means we get lots of money then you should already know I choose money,” Nami declared firmly.

                “And no bounty means the Marines won’t be out to get us,” Usopp added, “So we’ll have less trouble overall. You said we can still be famous though, right?”

                “As long as Nami and Reiju are happy I’m cool with it,” Sanji declared.

                “I’m not sure we get a vote since we’re not part of the crew…” Johnny mused.

                “…but you’re definitely better off avoiding the Marines and bounty hunters that would come after such a big bounty,” Yosaku finished.

                “It’s definitely a lot of trouble that it’s easier to avoid,” Gin agreed.

                “It’ll at least put off your next beating from Gramps,” Sabo nodded.

                “Right,” Luffy agreed, “So no bounty yet. How do we do that?”

                “We make a snail call,” Bones replied with a grin.

…

…A Few Minutes Later, Marineford…

…

                Sengoku glanced at his Transponder Snail as it started ringing as soon as Garp walked in. Sengoku pulled the transceiver off the stand, “Sengoku here, talk to me.”

                “Hello Fleet Admiral, it’s Reiju, did you miss me?” Reiju asked sweetly.

                Sengoku tensed reflexively before letting out a steadying breath, “Ah, Princess Vinsmoke. I’m glad to hear from you. Your father’s had Cipher Pol in quite a tizzy trying to figure out where you are.”

                Reiju smirked, “If he asks, tell him I’m taking a vacation. I wanted to call and let you know that my friends and I have just busted Captain Nezumi of Branch E-16 for corruption. I understand Commodore, I believe his name is ‘Pudding-pudding’ is in the area to reply to a distress call from the village of Goza regarding the decimation of said village by the Arlong Pirates. Nezumi has been covering up numerous attacks and a massive protection racket run by Arlong the Saw and his crew in exchange for significant financial compensation that Arlong has been bleeding out of the people of the Conomi Islands.”

                Sengoku went pale, “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll see to it that Nezumi is investigated and court martialed thoroughly. Will you be dealing with Arlong and his crew or would you prefer I send back up for Commodore Pudding-pudding?”

                Reiju laughed lightly, “Oh Fleet Admiral, you should know I wouldn’t call if the situation wasn’t already well in hand! We’ve got Arlong’s head right here, and his crew’s heads in a sack for the bounty identification.”

                Sengoku twitched, “Bounty hunting, Princess? Not what I’d have expected for a vacation.”

                “Arlong has been strongarming a friend of mine into committing petty theft for years with her entire village and family’s lives on the line,” Reiju replied a hint coldly, “My friends and I decided to educate him on how unacceptable that is. Arlong’s bounty will be given to my friend and her sister as compensation for him killing their mother in front of them, and the rest of his crew’s bounty will be put towards reconstruction and trying to get the Conomi Islands back on their feet. I expect the Navy to offer full assistance to the people of Conomi as reconciliation for their failure to even remotely curb Arlong’s reign of terror.”

                Sengoku winced slightly but nodded, “That is very generous of you Princess Reiju, and I fully agree. The Navy will make sure the Conomi Islands are properly looked after from now on. I will make sure it is arranged. May I ask who all else is there with you? Vice Admiral Garp just walked in and says he knows someone you made the front page with a couple of days ago.”

                Another voice suddenly came on and Luffy called, “Hey Grandpa! I’m beating up pirates! Don’t try to stop me!”

                Garp and Sengoku blinked at each other and then Garp burst out laughing, “WHY WOULD I EVER TRY TO STOP YOU FROM BEATING UP PIRATES?! THAT’S MY FAVORITE THING TO DO! YOU BEAT UP AS MANY PIRATES AS YOU WANT TO LUFFY! IF YOU SEE EITHER OF YOUR BROTHERS, BEAT THEM UP TOO AND THEN GIVE THEM A HUG FOR ME!”

                “Okay!” Luffy replied.

                Sengoku smiled, “Alright, Princess Reiju, where should I send the money to? The money for Arlong’s crew to Conomi clearly, and what about Arlong’s bounty for your friend?”

                “Send it all to Sheriff Genzo in Cocoyashi Village,” another voice that Sengoku would much later learn to be Nami instructed cheerfully, “We’ll be leaving the heads with him.”

                Sengoku nodded, “Very well, I’ll make the arrangements immediately. Thank you for calling Princess, have a very nice vacation, and like Garp said, please feel free to collect as many bounties as you want.”

                “Have a nice day Fleet Admiral!” Reiju replied with a bright and cheerful smile before hanging up.

                Sengoku hung up before looking up at Garp who was bawling happy tears, “I think that’s quite possibly the most pleasant snail call with her I’ve ever had.”

                “I’M NOT A FAILURE OF A GRANDPAAA!!!” Garp bawled, “I’M SO PROUD OF HIM SENNY! LUFFY WANTS TO BEAT UP PIRATES TOO!”

                Sengoku sighed with a smile, “No Garp, you’re not a failure. It seems like Luffy turned out perfectly alright. That said,” he added thoughtfully, “given that Commodore Ain reported Whitebeard Jr. being on his way to slaughter Arlong over the Conomi Islands thing, it does seem Luffy’s at least on friendly terms with Whitebeard Jr. for him and his friends to be the ones Arlong’s head was turned over to.”

                “And that’s a problem?” Garp asked, “If Whitebeard Jr. wants to beat up pirates and hand over their bounties to someone who can cash them so the money can be given back to people who need it, then that’s just a good audition for a Warlord seat isn’t it? It’s a hell of a lot more proactive and generous than any of the ones we’ve got right now isn’t it?”

                Sengoku opened his mouth to reply and then thought about it for a moment. “It is,” he conceded, “If Whitebeard Jr. and World Tour survive Sakazuki, then I’ll see about offering them a position. If they’re even half as strong as Kaido or Whitebeard then they’re certainly strong enough to merit it.”

                “You really think they’d accept it?” Garp asked with a raised eyebrow, “Those two don’t strike me as being willing to hold back against anybody, even if they’re wearing a crown. The Government won’t like that you know. Whitebeard Jr. specifically stated he was out to topple tyrants, sounds to me like he’s got almost as much a hate boner on for the government as he does for other pirates.”

                “And that makes him different from half the active Warlords how?” Sengoku replied dryly, “I doubt he and World Tour would help us fight Whitebeard, but anyone else? Judging from the reports I’ve received, there’s no reason why they wouldn’t join. So, if they survive Sakazuki, I think I will issue the offer.”

                “Alright, but don’t be surprised when they reject it,” Garp shrugged.

                “I’ll take it under advisement.”

…

…Meanwhile, Arlong Park…

…

                “You know he’s going to be extra pissed if you become a pirate now right?” Sabo asked.

                “Yeah, but he’d be mad anyway,” Luffy pointed out.

                “Just make sure the Government starts it whenever you have to go against them properly for the first time,” Bones suggested, “Then it’s not ‘Luffy became a pirate against Garp’s wishes’, it’s ‘the Government forced Luffy to a life of piracy’, and voila, you’re fine.”

                Luffy blinked up at him and then a big smile broke out across his face, “RIGHT!” Almost as an afterthought, Luffy looked over at Reiju, “He’s good.”

                Reiju blinked in shock and then laughed lightly as Sanji’s jaw hit the ground, “Thank you Captain, I think so too.”

                “DAMMIT LUFFY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY HE’S A SCUMBAG!” Sanji protested furiously.

                “But he’s helping us out a lot?” Luffy pointed out.

                “What if he’s just trying to convince you that he’s a good guy?!” Sanji snapped.

                Bones tilted his head in confusion and glanced at Sabo, “Ey Twister, what am I missing here?”

                “There was a bit of debate on whether you were helping us because you were a genuinely good person and friend or because you just wanted to get me in bed,” Reiju explained, “I’m pretty sure you do, but you haven’t even tried to seduce me yet, nor have you asked for any compensation aside from a copy of Nami’s atlas when she finishes it, which is likely at least years away. That combined with Luffy’s judgment that you’re a good person is enough for us to agree that you probably are and thus don’t deserve to be cashed in for your bounty.”

                Bones blinked and then gave a small smile, “Well, I’m certainly glad to hear it. Ah, on the topic of compensation, I’ve heard of something called a raw ham melon that grows around here? Can I get a few of those? I don’t know how big they are, or if we’ll even like them very much so I don’t know how many we’ll eat, but that sounds pretty unique and it would make a really neat souvenir for Yama-chan. She couldn’t come because she’s busy with the forging, but I’m sure she’d be overjoyed to get a new food to try.”

                “Forging?” Reiju asked curiously.

                Bones nodded, “Yama-chan loves all things samurai, and her idol used two sword style. The smith in Zoro’s hometown was actually an apprentice of the man who made one of the two Great Grade swords used by Yama-chan’s idol, so we brought him the steel and asked him to forge Yama-chan a pair of katana. Apparently using Haki during the forging leads to a higher grade weapon, so Yama-chan’s putting hers into the forging and helping Shiro-san forge Kuina’s new blade since he asked for her help with it as payment for forging her blades.”

                “What do you mean Kuina’s new blade?!” Zoro asked in slight outrage as he clutched the Wado Ichimonji’s hilt defensively.

                “Kuina says the Wado Ichimonji is the symbol of your promise to her,” Bones explained, “So since you’re to keep it, she needs a new one, and Shiro-san’s been gathering and sorting the iron for it for years. He says it’ll be his magnum opus the way Enma was for Kozaburo. Since you’ve already set out, he’s sending it out with Kuina instead. If stronger Haki really leads to a stronger weapon, then given that Yama-chan’s involved, I expect it’ll be quite an impressive blade. Ah let’s see, anything else, anything else?” He raised a hand to his head and looked down at the ground, “Am I forgetting anything? Ah, let’s see, killed Arlong, got the heads for the bounty, kept my promise to Nami, got Nez’mi cour’ martialed, presen’ fer Yama-chan, meh tha Strawhats… Twis’ did I f’rgeh anythin’?”

                “You should probably lie down before you fall down,” Sabo pointed out as he extended a steadying hand to Bones’ shoulder, “How fast were you going anyway?”

                “Was in Loguetown, at noon…” Bones panted as he sank to his knees, “Tired…I’ll… go back… in the morning…” He narrowly caught himself as fell forward and managed to land on his side. By the time his shoulder hit the ground, he was out cold.

                Nami twitched slightly in disbelief, “He was in Loguetown at noon? That’s over eight hundred miles from here!”

                Koala quickly crunched the numbers in her head before letting out a low whistle, “He was running a hundred and thirty miles an hour the entire afternoon. No wonder he’s tired.” She reached down and picked him up to sling his arm over her shoulder, “Weeell, come on sleepy head. Sabo, get his other side.”

                Sabo caught Bones’ other arm and helped Koala haul him down the long dusty road towards Cocoyashi Village. Now that he got a good look around, he decided it was a rather beautiful little island. Tropical, nice rice fields, a forest off in the distance… and the East Blue’s forever perfect weather, This would be a nice place to retire one day… he thought to himself.

                “Longer than that,” Zoro mused, “He probably ran from my home town to Loguetown first.”

                “Regardless of how long he was running, it’s very impressive that he went that far for us,” Reiju declared calmly before adding sharply, “And a very good reason why you should not make him angry Sanji. I’m not sure all of us together can stop him if he turns on us.”

                Sanji grimaced at the mild rebuke, “Oh come on, we could take him!”

                “Reiju could stop him, maybe,” Koala replied, “Depends on how resistant he is to poison, and I wouldn’t count on that stopping him quickly enough to matter. Don’t count on me and Sabo for it, we’ve seen what he does to people who piss him off.”

                “Koala, we’d help,” Sabo protested.

                “We’d try to calm him down, sure. I’m not dying over it if Sanji pisses him off, and neither are you Sabo if I have anything to say about it,” Koala sniped back, “You know full well he’d be a nightmare to deal with even with both of us. IF we could deal with him! Honestly, if he wasn’t such a giant sweetheart, I’d be scared shitless of him. He could tear me apart as easily as thinking about it!”

                “He would never do that,” Sabo pointed out, “He’s super loyal to his friends! And you know his self-control’s way stronger than his temper. Even if he was angry enough to hurt us, he’d walk away rather than act on it. He considers all of you friends by the way,” he added over his shoulder, “He wouldn’t have even offered to help if he didn’t, let alone run all the way here to make absolutely sure it was handled.”

                “Sooo… why’s Sanji trying to piss him off?” Luffy asked in confusion.

                “I’m not trying to piss him off!” Sanji protested, “He’s making moves on my sister!”

                “Except he hasn’t,” Zoro pointed out, “If anything he gave Nami a pretty great gift and compliment. By the way, what’s that ‘atlas of the entire world’ thing about Nami? Seemed kind of important.”

                Nami laughed lightly, still gleefully riding the ecstatic high of finally being out from under Arlong’s thumb, “You know how your dream is to be the World’s Strongest Swordsman? When I was a little girl, before Arlong came,” she clarified with a small wistful smile, “My dream was to one day create a map of the entire world. Now that I’m older, I understand it would have to be an atlas to have a level of detail I’d consider acceptable, but it’s been on the back burner for years since I had to prioritize saving my village from Arlong. Until today,” she added with a large happy grin, “that’s what Bones meant. He was reminding me of my dream so that I can go chase it down with all of you.”

                “So you will be my navigator?!” Luffy asked excitedly.

                Nami smirked and mused, “Ohhh, I dunno…maybe I should go join Bones’s crew instead? I mean after all, he is the one who beat Arlong and… what are you doing?”

                “LUFFY DON’T!” Sabo shouted, rousing Bones just in time for Luffy to yank him by the feet from Sabo and Koala’s grip and bodily hurl him over the horizon.

                “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!” Sabo, Koala, Reiju, Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Gin, Johnny and Yosaku bellowed in unison.

                Sanji kept his mouth shut but actually looked quietly approving of Luffy’s rash decision.

                “He’s been doing nothing but helping you and we just went over why you shouldn’t piss him off!” Sabo bellowed as he shook Luffy by the lapels in frustration, “What the hell were you thinking?!”

                “If he’s going to try to poach my crewmates, then I don’t want him around,” Luffy declared firmly.

                “I had no intention of disrupting the formation of your crew,” Bones declared, quietly seething from where he’d reappeared behind Luffy in between blinks. Sabo let go and stepped back, Luffy turned and Bones slammed a jet black uppercut into Luffy’s jaw with such force that it launched him off the road and sent him skipping across the rice ponds like a stone into the distance, “BUT IT’S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG NOW YA RUBBERY LITTLE SHIT!”

                Bones held the pose for a second before straightening up and looking at everyone else, clearly shaking with fury, “Tell Luffy, no, tell Strawhat when he wakes up that he has just earned himself a very staunch rival. I wasn’t going all in on the whole ‘Whitebeard Jr.’ thing, but if he’s the next Roger, by golly he just earned himself a Whitebeard, no, nonono fuck that, he’s earned himself a Rocks to square off against! I still like all the rest of you, but I do not appreciate my help being spat on over wild and baseless accusations, so he does not get to request help from me or my crew ever again. As a matter of fact…”

                An utterly evil grin split his features until his upper lip was the same shape as his moustache as he inhaled and then bellowed, “HEY STRAWHAT! I’M GONNA BE… KING OF THE PIRAAAAAAAAAATES!!!”

                Bones let that hang in the air for a moment before looking at everyone else, who were all staring in wake of the most blatant possible declaration of war on Luffy, “And when I see you all again in the Grand Line, I’ll have a crew of my own to challenge you all to a Davy Back Fight, and if he has any pride as a pirate at all, he will not refuse. Any of you who are sick of his foolishness by then will be completely welcome to join me at that time.”

                “I’d let you join now,” he added, “but you’ve got things to take care of that I won’t have time to straighten out, and he won’t make it long enough for me to utterly demolish him in the Grand Line without all of you along for the ride since your crew is and will probably stay so small. I’m sorry, but please bear it for now. Millions of lives depend on all of you being on hand for the events at Alabasta, and with Kuina needing treatment at Drum, I almost certainly won’t be able to make it in time. Sabo, Koala,” he nodded towards the Revolutionaries, “Thank you for trying to get me to a bed. You two are of course welcome to call anytime you want and I’ll still help you however I can. Reiju, you’re free to call whenever you want, and Zoro of course I don’t care if you call and chat the night away with Kuina. Honestly, I actively encourage you to. Nami, whereabouts can I find that raw ham melon?”

                Nami pointed towards Cocoyashi Village in numb shock and Bones took off at the same blinding pace he’d been holding all day, his rage having apparently fully reenergized him.

                When he was gone, Koala laughed quietly, “Holy shit Luffy just fucked up…”

                Reiju could only stare at the dust trail Bones had left, “Yeee-ep.”

…

…Somewhere In The New World…

…

                Marshall D. Teach sat bolt up right on his raft, drenched in a cold sweat and looking around as he nervously laughed, “Zehaha, I’m in danger…” He got up, “Shit shit shit, how can I get out of here faster? Ah…Bring me that horizon!” He pointed towards the horizon and his hand turned into billowing inky darkness before nearly yanking him off his own raft. Teach only just barely managed to plant his feet and suddenly his raft was skipping along the waves like he was water skiing.

                Teach only spent a moment or two screaming in panic trying to figure out what was happening, then he realized his Devil Fruit power was doing exactly what he’d asked it to. He couldn’t help himself, he started laughing and began to pump his fist and dance as best he could without moving his feet from where they were keeping his raft under him as he sang.

“Zehahaha!!! I am Marshall D. Teach!

I was able to get my hands on this Devil Fruit, but that’s not enough! It’s not enough!

Men, raise the anchor! We’re heading for Full’o’Lead!!!

In Full’o’Lead, there is Inaniwa Udon Kiritanpo Nabe Yami Yami

So even if there aren’t any cherry pies here there’s countless local sake! Yami Yami

Naughty children who would stand up against me, Are there any here? Are there any here?

Just watch, the New World Is my era!!! My era!!!”

…

…Elsewhere In The New World…

…

                “Do ya want me to go after him Pops?” Ace asked as Whitebeard read Teach’s note.

                “If he wants to strike out on his own, that’s his business,” Thatch pointed out, “We’ll just be here for him if he ever wants to come home.”

                Whitebeard nodded in agreement, “I wish he’d told me in person, but he probably knows I’d want him to stay, and I can’t imagine this was an easy decision for him. It would’ve probably been harder if he’d tried to tell us in person. Don’t worry about him Ace. Teach is more than capable of taking care of himself. He’ll be fine, and if he’s not, well that’s what family is for. Now then, moving on to more pressing matters,” he picked up his bottle of rum and swished it, “This sounds almost empty.”

…

…Meanwhile, Whole Cake Island…

…

                “Well Judge,” Big Mom crooned as dinner was served by the numerous servant Homies at the massive table she used for negotiations in one of the ballrooms at Whole Cake Chateau, “It seems we’ve found your daughter, and one of your sons!”

                Judge Vinsmoke tilted his head in confusion, “Come again?”

                A man with a garishly colorful outfit and a tongue as long as most men’s arms handed a pair of newspapers to a servant homie to carry across the table to Judge, “It seems they’re in the East Blue travelling with the grandson of Monkey D. Garp and a famous bounty hunter.”

                Judge reviewed the article on the front page of the more recent paper about a duel between Hawkeye Mihawk and some nobody bounty hunter after Reiju shot some no name pirate between the eyes for attacking… “Huh. Linlin, would you be averse to having the only one of my children interested in being a cook as the husband for one of your daughters?”

                Linlin’s eyes went wide, “Ooh, tell me more! Is he as good at cooking as your other children are at killing?”

                “He’d better be,” Judge declared dryly, “He left the family to be a cook, he’d better be a damn good one!”

                Big Mom looked down at Perospero, “Perospero, send someone to find out if he’s a good cook. If he is, then we might just have to have him!”

…

…Meanwhile, Wano…

…

                Black Maria shot a nervous glance at the setting sun out the window of Onigashima’s brothel, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Ulti.

                “What’s the matter, slut?” Ulti demanded dryly from where she was reclined on one of the massive throw pillows in Maria’s quarters, “I thought you’d be happy Kaido-sama finally accepted your invite.”

                Black Maria shot a venomous glance at Ulti and then stood without a word, undid her obi and slid off her kimono. Ulti’s eyes went wide and her mask actually went flying off from the force of her shout, “WHAT THE FUCK MARI?!”

                Maria trembled slightly as the tears she’d been trying to hold back all day finally started to flow and she squeaked out, “Yeah!” Then she sat back down, wincing as the pressure aggravated her bruises and started to cry in earnest as Ulti yanked out a snail so hard she almost cracked its shell and called Page One.

…

…Meanwhile, Marineford…

…

                “Garp, good to see you again,” Retired Admiral Zephyr declared as he shook his old friend’s hand.

                “Right back at you Zephyr,” Garp declared with a grin, “Did you teach Little Ain how to do that thing where she pulled my whole ship here from Loguetown in an instant?”

                Zephyr raised an eyebrow and looked over the top of his glasses at Garp, “Come again? Your entire ship? I didn’t know she could do that. It does explain why it feels like there’s been a new ship in the harbor every time I’ve turned around today though.”

                “Yeah it felt kinda weird honestly!” Garp laughed easily, “Felt like stepping back on land again for the first time after months on deck!”

                “Yessir, sorry about that, it’s just how the technique feels,” Ain apologized as she appeared in a flash of pink light, “Um, there’s one more thing I’d like to try for this operation, but I’m…a little hesitant to ask.”

                “If it’s half as cool as moving my whole ship like that then I’m down no matter what it is!” Garp laughed.

                “I’m willing to give it a shot Ain,” Zephyr declared with a smile, “What did you have in mind?”

                “Well, you know how the basic usage of my Devil Fruit is to age things backwards twelve years with a touch?” Ain asked with a smile, “I know it’s not as useful against strong opponents since Haki can shut down adverse devil fruit effects, but if you accepted the effect willingly…”

                Zephyr’s eyes went wide as Garp waited for her to finish, not having cottoned on to what she was offering. “It’s worth a try,” Zephyr declared with an excited smile, “Even if it messes up this mechanical arm, I’d be happy to be your test subject Ain.”

                Ain raised a glowing pink finger with an excited grin, “Yes SIR!”

Chapter 13: Growing Ripples

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…

…~-~-~-~-~…

…

                Sengoku sat back in his chair, his jaw slack with shock.

                “It’s really something ain’t it?!” Garp laughed, his hair dark, his face unwrinkled and his physique back to the shape it had been in when he’d been able to set the yet-to-be-crowned Pirate King to flight.

                “I’ve got my arm back!” Zephyr declared for the fifth time, waving the restored limb with the biggest grin Sengoku had seen on the man since his wife and son’s murder. Admittedly, Sengoku mused, he looks close to the age he was when that happened, she may have reverse aged him back past it?

                “Is it permanent?” Sengoku asked.

                “Nah, if we use our haki much, it’ll break the effect and we’ll be geezers again,” Garp explained, “But Zephyr’s arm stays, apparently Ain’s ability doesn’t follow the same set of events that led to him losing it when it slings him back forward. I haven’t been able to test whether or not I’ll be able to throw a good punch with haki yet, didn’t wanna wreck the harbor, but Shiki doesn’t use haki, so we should be fine.”

                Ain did a double take, “He doesn’t?”

                Zephyr nodded, “That’s right, Shiki’s always believed the air superiority his devil fruit gives him along with his maneuverability and the other abilities from it, intelligence and sword skills were all he needed. Admittedly, he wasn’t wrong for most of his career.”

                Sengoku took a deep breath, “A very, VERY large part of me wants to join this expedition now. Ain, how many people can you affect at a time?”

                Ain blinked, “I don’t know sir, I’ve never gone for mass quantity with the de-aging aspect of my ability, I’ve only ever used it as a debilitating effect. That said, I can transport massive numbers, so, it’s possible my de-aging effect is the…” she missed a beat as the door flew open, “…same. Sirs.” She nodded in greeting to Admirals Aokiji, Akainu and Kizaru, who had all burst in at once with quite a lot of other very highly ranked officers behind them, and all of them had looks of wonder on their face.

                “So it’s true,” Akainu breathed as Zephyr waved to them with his freshly restored hand.

                “We aren’t back in full. We can’t use our haki without breaking the effect,” Zephyr clarified, “But we’re in far better shape than we were.”

                “So cool!” Aokiji gushed quietly, looking almost as excited as his heroes.

                “I do believe Shiki is about to have an extremely bad day,” Kizaru drawled with a grin of his own.

                “With all five of us, there’s no way even a single one of Shiki’s crew will escape!” Akainu declared excitedly.

                “Four,” Sengoku corrected with a sigh, “You’re not going Akainu.”

                That earned a double take from everyone in the room except Ain who already knew. Akainu’s jaw dropped. As he picked it back up, his fist clenched, but he kept his voice level, “I have a different assignment, sir?”

                Sengoku held up a bounty poster, “Yes you do.”

                Garp met Sengoku’s gaze as Sakazuki stepped forward to accept the bounty poster but said nothing as Sengoku glanced over to Ain.

                “Commodore Ain, you are currently the only Marine who has actually dealt with Whitebeard Jr., I’m trusting you to give Admiral Akainu a full debrief on his abilities,” Sengoku instructed firmly before turning to Akainu, “Whitebeard Jr. is currently an unknown of maximum priority. I consider him a growing potential threat on par with if not greatly surpassing Shiki. Take as many ships as you believe you’ll need and stake out the entrance to the Grand Line. Feel free to crush any other pirates that attempt to come down Reverse Mountain while you’re there, but it is imperative that Whitebeard Jr. not be allowed to wreak havoc.

                “If he escapes you,” Sengoku continued, “or if you believe him to be worthy of it, then we will be offering him a Warlord seat when one becomes available as he has expressed extreme contempt for other pirates and based upon our information, we believe he could be trusted to hunt them rather than civilians. Hell, if it means keeping him under control, we may just make another seat to give him.”

                “That’s a pretty big stretch,” Aokiji mused, “Mind if I ask what intel led to this decision, sir?”

                “Simply put,” Sengoku replied, “He has outright admitted that the only reason he’s not a Marine is because he hates the World Nobles more than anyone and does not believe the Marines as an organization are capable of truly enforcing justice properly so long as the World Government serves at the will of the Celestial Dragons. Also, he’s aware of some of our more drastic classified operations which has apparently only hardened his opinion on the matter.”

                “And you trust that?” Zephyr asked sharply.

                “Considering he cited it as his reason for handing us Shiki’s location, plans and the details of his forces, along with having already slaughtered three separate pirate crews in the East Blue for preying on civilians,” Sengoku replied tiredly, “I think if this operation nets us Shiki then we have to believe him.”

                “We’re trusting a pirate’s word about the location and forces of another pirate?” Kizaru asked, “While I’m inclined to believe you wouldn’t be acting on it without good reason to believe it, that does raise the possibility of this being a trap.”

                Sengoku nodded, “It does. That’s why we’re sending the amount of force we’re sending and why Cipher Pol has already been dispatched to Merveille to confirm the validity of this tip. I’m sure you read the briefing on Shiki’s expected forces. If that’s an understatement, then we’ll need all the fire power we can get. Commodore Ain will be on standby to bring reinforcements if they are needed. However, if everything is exactly as Bones has told us, it also means that he very likely has equally compromising information about the Marines and World Government, and if provoked could put it to as devastating a use as what he’s unleashed on Shiki.”

                Sengoku stood up and every marine below the rank of Admiral (minus Garp) snapped to attention, “Understand this, all of you. This was no mere tip off. In revealing Shiki, Whitebeard Jr. has thrown down the gauntlet. If his information is accurate, then he has just proven that whatever information gathering capacity he has exceeds our own, that his claimed knowledge of information that could cripple or outright topple the World Government is most likely very real, and that he is capable of bringing devastating amounts of force to bear on the weak points of those who stand against him with little to no effort. The information at his disposal and his ability to send us directly where he wants us, going at who he wants us sent at, with information that he knows very well we can’t afford not to act on is proof that he possesses the ability to manipulate and devastate us. We will not raise his bounty yet to avoid public alarm or potentially luring more support to him, but we can NOT afford to underestimate him.

                Sengoku looked at Akainu, “Should he refuse the Warlord position, you are to consider his capture or extermination your absolute top priority, but do not under any circumstances engage him near a civilian population unless he is already attacking them. Endangering civilians is a self professed ‘berserk button’ of his, and a surefire way to goad him into bringing everything he’s got to bear against the World Government should he escape. Given the reports we’ve had of his nature and the unknown quantity and quality of his preparations, it is not inconceivable that he could have measures in place to get revenge should he be taken down. Treat this operation with the utmost caution and seriousness. Do I make myself clear?”

                Akainu raised an eyebrow, “Yes sir.” He turned to Ain, “Commodore? Would you mind giving the briefing now where we can all hear? I would not like for anyone to encounter a threat of this magnitude uninformed.”

                Ain nodded, “Of course, sir. Fleet Admiral, may I borrow your vis-snail?” Sengoku nodded and gestured to the best wall for projections. A moment later, Ain was projecting my bounty poster onto the wall, “This is Bones, real name and origin unknown. He is known as Whitebeard Jr. due to his immense resemblance to a young Whitebeard in both appearance and strength. Despite the resemblance, there is no known blood connection between the two, and our sources have confirmed that neither Whitebeard nor his so-called junior claim one.

                “As of a week ago he possesses no Devil Fruit, however we confirmed this morning that he is fast enough to run on water with ease and do so for hours on end. Additionally, his body possesses the same abnormal durability as the likes of Kaido and Big Mom and appears to be growing steadily more durable. The upper limits of this durability are currently unknown, but rounds of higher velocity than standard cannon fire have been confirmed to be utterly useless against him as anything more than an annoyance, and his physical strength is confirmed to be on par with that of pirates bosting bounties over five times his. He is also a capable practitioner of at least three of the Six Powers: Soru, Geppo and Shigan, and has adapted the Tobu Shigan for a focused long range punch capable of maiming and decapitation which he is capable of unleashing in rapid fire volleys. We suspect he knows the rest but have not yet confirmed this.”

                Ain took a breath and continued, “What we have confirmed is that he possesses at least rudimentary Observation Haki, although it is currently unknown if he possesses Armament or Conqueror’s Haki. It should be noted that he has exceptional resistance to Conqueror’s Haki even if he doesn’t have it and is likely learning Armament at an exceptional rate thanks to the influence of his partner,” she swapped out my picture for one of Yamato with her hair dyed black during our bank heist.

                “…the daughter of Kaido: ‘World Tour’ Yamato,” Ain explained, “She is not as strong as her father, but again, easily comparable to pirates with bounties of over a billion, physically resilient enough to shrug off cannon fire as easily as snowflakes, and confirmed to be a skilled user of all three types of Haki, on top of having a Devil Fruit which I believe to be a Zoan type, likely ancient or even mythical given her father’s resources. Between her and Bones, she is likely more physically formidable and will definitely put her life on the line for Bones as would he for her, however we should consider dealing with Bones a much higher priority.”

                “He’s the brains of the operation, and more importantly, as Fleet Admiral Sengoku pointed out, he has access to extremely classified information,” Ain continued, “How and how much we don’t know, but what we do know is that he has enough dirt to potentially destabilize the World Government if he goes public with his information.”

                 “Do we have any ideas of what information may be at his disposal?” Kizaru asked.

                “At the very least he knows the abilities and weaknesses of several high ranking officers, the nature of the Pacifista project and what Ohara was Buster Called for, the last of which I’ve understood to be enough to merit a massive bounty all on its own,” Ain declared tersely, “And he’s royally pissed about that incident. We don’t know if he possesses information on the Ancient Weapons, but I would not bet against it.”

                “So we should consider him a threat equal to Nico Robin?” Akainu asked.

                “Do you believe he could be another survivor?” Aokiji mused.

                Ain pulled up short, “I had not considered the possibility of him being a survivor of Ohara, but yes, I believe that is a credible theory. As for being a threat equal to Nico Robin…” She snorted, “No.”

                Sengoku raised an eyebrow at her as nearly everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Those people all then promptly sucked that sigh back in with their relief turning to horror as Ain added, “He is so much worse.”

                She then went on to explain every detail that didn’t make sense about me if one didn’t believe the isekai explanation, and I’m told more than one marine in that room was as white as the coat on their back. Akainu was reportedly no longer displeased at all about being entrusted with my capture, and apparently everyone believed Sengoku entirely about me being every bit as big a threat as Shiki.

                I’m not sure if I should be proud of that or not, but Ain says Akainu looked as scared as she’d ever seen him, which admittedly isn’t very, but it was noticeable so I’ll chalk it up as a win.

…

…Cocoyashi Village, Near Midnight…

…

                The party had not let up in the slightest. Even the lightweights and kids were still going strong in the town wide celebration. Really, it was probably the entire archipelago at this point, runners had been sent to all the towns in the Conomi Isles to let everyone know the great news that Arlong was at long last really and truly gone.

                It was a beautiful night, clear with a gentle breeze and the moon shining down bright from overhead. The air was just warm enough to be pleasant without being too warm or too muggy. The tangerine booze flowed and buffets were everywhere throughout the town that glowed with lights and buzzed with the sounds of good cheer. Mosquitoes, midges, fleas and other such nuisances weren’t native to the Conomi Islands, so there weren’t even biting insects to swarm the lights and partygoers.

                The only people not celebrating were, strangely enough, the Strawhat Pirates. Sanji and Zoro found themselves slumped on the ground across from each other in a comparatively quiet alley next to the doctor’s office, with Reiju and Usopp next to them. Luffy was currently inside the doctor’s office getting looked over and whining about how he wasn’t going to be able to eat meat until his jaw healed as Sabo promised the doctor he’d make sure Luffy behaved and obeyed the doctor’s orders.

                Nami was celebrating with her sister, and nobody begrudged her that. Koala, Gin, Johnny and Yosaku were also enjoying the festivities, nobody begrudged them that either. This was a problem for the Strawhat crew, and Gin, Johnny and Yosaku had stuck around this long out of solidarity for their friends even though none of it concerned them in the slightest.

                Zoro had a bottle of sake, Reiju and Sanji had a bottle each of the local tangerine wine, and Usopp had a bottle of rum. An uncomfortable silence hung over them, their earlier encounter with me weighing heavily on their minds.

                Finally, Zoro asked the question they had all been mulling over quietly, “What the hell’s a Davy Back Fight?”

                “Zeff told me about it once,” Sanji explained after a moment to gather his thoughts, “Said it’s some kind of crazy competition between pirate crews where the winner of each round gets to take one of the loser’s crewmates. The only way to get a crewmate back is to win them back in another Davy Back Fight round, and if the losing crew runs out of members the winner wants, the winner can even take the loser’s Jolly Roger. Once that happens, the losing crew can never again sail under the Jolly Roger they’d been under or use the pirate crew’s name they’d had.”

                “And it’s not a challenge that can be ignored either,” Usopp added, “If the challenge is issued and refused, or if the loser goes back on their word, then they’re considered lower than scum by all pirates.”

                “So if Bones does challenge Luffy to a Davy Back Fight, Luffy can’t back down without giving up his chance to be Pirate King,” Reiju pointed out quietly, “He can’t be Pirate King if he backs down from a challenge that no pirate would, and if he accepts then Bones can cherry pick our crewmates away as he likes or even crush Luffy’s honor as a pirate outright.”

                “That’s if he wins,” Zoro pointed out.

                “He’ll have himself, World Tour and likely your girlfriend back in top form on his side, along with whoever else they pick up between now and then,” Reiju pointed out grimly, “Does that sound like a fight we can win?”

                Zoro sucked in a sharp breath that made pain flare through his chest wound. Reiju nodded, “Yeah, that’s what I thought, especially since, correct me if I’m wrong Sanji, isn’t the final round always a one on one fight between the captains with whatever crewmate gets claimed in that round being the sole exception to the ‘you can win your crewmate back in another game’ rule? Anyone think Luffy can beat Bones one on one as he is now?”

                A round of grimaces confirmed that no, nobody thought Luffy could win that fight. It might’ve been a different story if they hadn’t seen Bones bypass Luffy’s immunity to blunt force trauma, or if they’d seen Luffy win more fights. As was though, even Reiju and Zoro had only seen Luffy fight three times, and against Buggy, who had been the toughest opponent they’d seen him face, he had spent most of the fight getting made an absolute fool of. If it hadn’t been for Nami’s quick thinking, Buggy might very well have killed Luffy without breaking a sweat. Thanks to the forewarning my notes had given them allowing them to handle threats before they could develop and spin out of control, and my own interference along with Reiju’s, the camaraderie and confidence that was supposed to be built in Luffy across the East Blue Saga… had never grown.

                Strength grows best in adversity, and trust is nourished by overcoming difficulty together. It hadn’t been my intention at all, but for all that my efforts to help and smooth their path had been successful, the lack of struggle had left the Strawhat crew with a much, much more fragile bond… a bond that Luffy’s violent rejection had infuriated me enough to take a hammer to.

                “If Bones finds us,” Reiju declared grimly, “we’ll almost certainly lose at least one member of our crew, possibly as many as three. Maybe more if Luffy thinks he can win a second set of games and makes the attempt, or if he puts his pride as a pirate ahead of whatever common sense he has and Bones challenges him repeatedly.”

                “Depending on who he takes, he could cripple any chance we have of surviving in the Grand Line,” Sanji pointed out, “If he takes Nami, there goes our navigator. If he takes Reiju, we have no doctor and our back up navigator’s gone. If he takes me, no cook and Luffy’s appetite will starve everyone as he eats all the ship’s provisions faster than they can be replenished or get himself poisoned.”

                “And those are exactly the three he probably wants,” Usopp pointed out.

                “Why would he want me?” Sanji asked curiously.

                “To make Reiju happy,” Zoro agreed, “I think Usopp’s right. He went to a lot of trouble to reunite you two, he won’t want to waste that effort.”

                “And he knows you’re an incredible cook,” Reiju added, “I don’t know if he can cook, but he knows you can, and he definitely still wants me.”

                “I mean, not saying you’re wrong but are you sure?” Usopp asked, “I mean he is married, right? I mean, I have Kaya waiting for me back home, so I’m not sure I even could reciprocate if someone else came on to me you know?”

                “He makes a good point,” Zoro mused, “You are seriously amazing Reiju, but I’d never cheat on Kuina.”

                Reiju took a breath to reign her temper in at what could have been taken as a pass on her attractiveness and then let it out, “Yes, I’m aware, but he also said that Yamato is willing to jump in bed with both of us at the drop of a hat and actually prefers women with him being the sole lucky exception. I swing both ways, so I’m okay with that. Frankly I would probably have jumped his bones tonight if he hadn’t shot off back to wherever Yamato is after Luffy set him off like that. Sanji don’t give me that look, if he were a girl as into you as I’m certain Bones is into me then you’d be falling all over yourself.”

                Sanji flinched and grimaced, then he seemed to curl in on himself and Reiju’s focus zeroed in on him. That’s the same way he used to curl in on himself when our brothers were about to attack him, “Sanji?”

                “I’m… actually trying to work on that,” he muttered.

                Reiju leaned on his shoulder, “Why? It’s adorable to see you get so excited. I can tell you’re barely able to keep from jumping for joy whenever Nami smiles at you. What girl wouldn’t love to have a guy swooning over her beauty and bending over backwards to make her happy?”

                Sanji took a deep drag on his cigarette before exhaling it as a plume of smoke and couldn’t meet Reiju’s eye, “Apparently a lot of them.”

                Reiju leaned on him a little harder as a switch of realization flicked in her head and a very subtle but very murderous look entered her eyes, “I’m gonna need some names then.”

                Sanji stiffened and looked at her in horror, “Wha…?”

                Reiju gave him her most insistent pout, “Who hurt you this time? I couldn’t do anything about it with Dad, but I can damn sure do something now.”

                “Um, please don’t,” Sanji felt a bit of sweat breaking out. Reiju would absolutely hunt down and murder anyone who pissed her off. Of this he was completely certain. Y’know, maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up?

                “Then at least tell me what happened,” Reiju insisted.

                “Seriously, you seem to be a total ladies man Sanji, I’m having trouble seeing how you haven’t got girls falling all over you,” Usopp mused.

                “Well…” Sanji started before stopping himself, “Um… I didn’t… hold myself back until a week or two before you guys showed up. Ah, you’ve heard that saying that love’s a hurricane right?”

                Zoro made a face and covered it by taking a long drink, he’d heard it. He knew the degree of idiotic lovestruck tomfoolery that usually went with it too. He sincerely hoped Sanji and Reiju couldn’t hear him think Oh thank whatever gods there are he stopped doing that before I met him…

                Usopp nodded, “Yeah, I’ve heard that one. Ah… generally not the most successful approach I’ve heard. I know Kaya looked at me like I’d lost my mind when I tried that one Valentine’s Day.”

                “Zero out of five thousand, five hundred and ninety seven,” Sanji confirmed, his voice sharp with discomfort as he curled a little bit more in on himself.

                Zoro nearly choked on his booze.

                Usopp’s jaw dropped.

                Reiju sucked in a sharp breath, she knew herself and she knew her brothers. He was remembering rejections the way she remembered kills and Ichiji, Niji and Yonji remembered insults. If Sanji remembered having been rejected that many times, then he was still hanging on to at least a bit of the hurt and upset from every. Single. One. Before Sanji realized it, Reiju had wrapped him in a hug.

                Sanji blinked in confusion as Reiju’s boobs pressed into his face and silently thanked the Gods of Love that it did absolutely nothing for him. How awkward would that be? he mused to himself idly before pointing out, “Um, for what it’s worth, Bones did say in that letter of his that there was a literal princess who’d be super into me in the New World…”

                Reiju pushed him back upright to look him in the eye, “In case you’ve forgotten little brother, I’m a literal princess, and I know the one he’s talking about and from what I know of her I agree with him.”

                Zoro and Usopp both tilted their heads in shock and confusion as they asked in perfect unison, “Wait, what?”

                Sanji grimaced and Reiju glanced over at them, “Did I not tell you that?”

                “No,” Zoro replied, “I don’t recall having heard anything about that. I think I’d recall that!”

                “I know I haven’t,” Usopp declared, “That’s a seriously memorable detail. It does explain how you’ve got the Fleet Admiral of the Marines on speed dial and that comment about your father being able to whip Cipher Pol into a frenzy trying to find you though…” he mused.

                “Well, don’t go treating us any differently,” Reiju instructed with a gentle smile, “I want to just be Reiju and leave my family name out of it.”

                “Same,” Sanji confirmed, “I left by mutual agreement.”

                “So what made you start holding your enthusiasm back?” Reiju asked without changing her tone or expression or obviously directing the question to Sanji.

                “I heard Maddy and London laughing at me after I let them skive off paying because they were cute,” Sanji answered absently, not really realizing what had just happened until he almost felt Reiju’s mood shift to ‘openly violent’ and he clapped his hands over his mouth in horror that he’d let names slip in front of his murderously overprotective sister.

                “Did they now?” Reiju asked in a very dangerous tone.

                “That’s low,” Usopp declared, “Taking advantage of someone’s affection like that is bad enough, but straight up mocking them afterward? Sanji, you are so lucky you heard them and found out what they were really like. The last time I saw something like that, one guy ended up dead, the girl got run out of town and the other guy ended up in jail!”

                “Seriously,” Zoro agreed before taking another drink and adding, “It takes a real scum bag to prey on peoples’ affections like that.”

                “Save the enthusiasm for the bedroom Little Bro,” Reiju advised sagely, prompting Zoro to once again nearly choke on his booze.

                Before anyone could respond to that, Koala, clearly tipsy and with a three quarters empty bottle still in her hand, let out a sound somewhere between a wheeze and a whine before nearly collapsing as she doubled up with laughter. “I was not expecting that!” Koala cackled, leaning against the wall and sliding down it to keep herself from falling. It took her a few minutes to quit laughing, but when she did, she smiled and patted Sanji on the shoulder, “Sanji, how much would it cost for you to write a cookbook? You’re an awesome cook and I want to learn how, and maybe teach Sabo. Great opportunity to flirt with him, you know? He’s so dense!”

                Her mood shifted and she started to rant, “Like, I KNOW he’s into me, and everyone can tell and everyone knows I’m into him so why the hell won’t he do anything about it?! Like FUCK ME DAMMIT! WHY IS HE SO…” she blinked as Sabo seemed to materialize out of thin air to pick her up in a bridal carry with a very strange but soft smile on his face, “Sabo-kun?”

                Sabo held her a little closer and leaned in, still smiling as the brims of their hats bumped and pushed up, “Haven’t you had a little too much to drink?”

                Koala immediately blushed redder than her hair and found her voice suddenly not working.

                Sabo just smiled, “Come on, let’s go find you a bed. In the morning when you’re sober, we’ll talk okay?”

                Koala’s answer was to reach up and tug Sabo’s face down close to her own, “Why’re you such a gentleman?”

                “Only the best for the best,” Sabo replied with a grin, “That’s you, you know?”

                Sabo found himself on the ground a moment later being kissed like there was no tomorrow, and Sanji, Reiju, Zoro and Usopp all quietly slipped out of the alley to give them some privacy.

…

…Meanwhile, the Shore Near Shimotsuki Village…

…

                “Glad to see you decided to take us up on our offer,” I declared in a voice of forced calm as I skidded to a halt in the sand, half burying my boots in it as I turned to force my momentum into the sand. The moon was high in the sky overhead and by my guess it was nearly midnight as I set down the sack that I’d brought the raw ham melons back in.

                The heavily bandaged man Yamato and I had asked to join our crew smiled from the lumber pile he was passed out on top of with a bottle in his hand, “Haha, well when people of your capability suggest pulling off some outrageous stunts, how can I refuse? It’s just second nature to me I suppose. So this is to be our ship? I hope you don’t mind me dozing on the lumber, the mattress smelled… a bit lived in.”

                I nodded as I straightened up, “I’m in the midst of modifying it. The ship not the mattress, which yes, Yamato and I would’ve been highly displeased to find you sleeping on it since it’s ours. I had to take off this morning to go deal with some…” I grimaced, “rather unsavory characters in the Conomi Isles. My apologies for not being here to greet you on your arrival.”

                He laughed as he sat up, “Wow, you’re already treating me better than my old captain! This is gonna be a fun voyage! Are there any rules I should be informed of?”

                I sat down on a different lumber pile across from him, “First thing’s first, I don’t tolerate rape or the harming of children. Plunder is fine, but we take only from the richest targets and those who attack us first.”

                “Wow, so you’re actually something of a goody goody, huh?” our new crewman mused, “Well that’s fine, I’d rather work for someone with morals than another psycho. The last one didn’t turn out too well!” he gestured to the wounds that were sure to scar crisscrossing his still heavily bandaged body, “That maniac’s plan nearly got me done in, and I’m under no delusions that he’d have hunted me down to kill me himself if I’d told him to get stuffed or simply not shown up!”

                I snorted, “Well, rest assured, we’re not like that. It’ll take outright mutiny or breaking one of my big three rules to make me that angry. Don’t come at us and you won’t get hurt. Next thing, disputes aboard ship will be settled civilly. I’ll not have our crew tearing itself apart over flared egos. If any two crewmates are just truly incapable of getting along and can’t be near each other without coming to blows, we’ll be setting at least one of them off at the next port. That said, I do not expect that to happen frequently if at all.”

                That got me a nod, “Seems reasonable. How will we be divvying up the loot?”

                I raised two fingers, “Officers take one and a half shares, that includes the Captains, me and Yamato. Crewmen take one share. It’s all moot until we get actual crewmen of course.”

                “So I’m an officer right?”

                “You were competent to run a ship and crew right?” I confirmed before adding with a smirk, “There wasn’t some other member of your crew I don’t know about holding the reins right?”

                Jango gave me a very dry and slightly offended look, “I was the fifth finest active pirate captain in the East Blue, thank you.”

                I chuckled, “That’s what I thought. Welcome aboard Quartermaster Jango. We’re sailing into the sea of madness to the glory beyond, we’ll be relying on you.”

                Jango raised an eyebrow and actually lowered his glasses to get a better look at me. Then he smiled broadly, “Why thank you very much Captain! I look forward to working with you!”

                “Leave the raw power to us,” I instructed him with a grin, “And we’ll rely on your experience in handling a ship and crew.”

                Jango nodded, “Right. Do you have any crewmen in mind yet or are we just taking any old scallywags we can gather?”

                “I have several in mind, a few we’ll need to gather on the way, but when we get to…” I tilted my head as I heard someone calling me, “Excuse me a moment.”

                I got up and strode to edge of the ship and sprang up, ducking into the cabin and the mirror I’d picked up on Mirror Ball Island so we could communicate with Brulee as needed. It was serving its purpose nicely now because Brulee was on the other side in her witchy form rather than the shockingly pretty form she’d worn to the party. Which was her real face I’m still not sure of, but in this instance it was irrelevant, “Brulee, is everything alright?”

                “No, no it isn’t,” Brulee replied quickly, “Are you docked? I need a safe space to bring out somebody really big. Can I step out? I’ll probably need to make a mirror big enough for this.”

                I nodded, “Of course.” I extended a hand and Brulee reached out of the mirror, took my hand and stepped out of the mirror as I instructed her to mind her head. A moment later we stepped out onto the sand and Brulee looked around fretfully, “Crap…Bones is there anything we can use to make a mirrored surface?”

                I looked at her, “How big do we need?”

                I heard something like someone knocking on glass, Brulee pulled out a compact and Katakuri told her to let him out. She turned the compact away from herself and a moment later Katakuri oozed out through it, in less than a minute he created a massive pan of haki coated mochi and scooped up a large amount of seawater. He glanced at Brulee, “Hurry, it won’t hold long.”

                Brulee set her hand to the surface of the water and as it suddenly became perfectly flat and still barked, “HURRY! BRING THEM OUT!”

                A massive cohort of pawn troopers suddenly started hopping out of the mirror pool, heaving with all they had to tow out a form I wasn’t overly familiar with of someone I had grown at least passingly familiar with. As the pawn troopers hauled the first skiff and its occupant to the side, and began hauling out the next one, I looked at Brulee who was trembling faintly and Katakuri who looked extremely tense. Unless I missed my guess, he was furious.

                “Who the hell did that to Ulti? And why?” I asked quietly. I couldn’t see her injuries clearly, but I knew even hybrid zoan forms weren’t supposed to be bent up like that, and I could see a crater in her side mixed in with several bloody gashes on top of the other obvious wounds and blood covering her. I wasn’t wrong in guessing that most of it was hers.

                Brulee was shaking outright now, “I don’t know. All I know is what I found when we got there after one of my mirrors reported Ulti begging me for help through her compact. I think she and Page One tried to get between Kaido and what he wanted. They’re barely breathing and I don’t know if they’re going to make it. I don’t know what he did to them, and I don’t think I want to know. I know we’re not supposed to help each other beyond information and minor negotiations, but… this…” she trailed off, shaking her head in horror and fury.

                I stood there, ghost pale and furious as the pawn troopers hauled out Page One, who was also unconscious and in actually worse shape than Ulti. Then the third victim of Kaido’s little rampage started to be hauled out and Katakuri and I had to help the pawn troopers because they were actually struggling a bit. When I saw her, I almost lost my grip in shock at the extent of what had been done to her. “That fucking asshole…” I snarled as I helped pull Black Maria, or what was left of her, out onto the sand. I could tell from the stench mixed in with the smell of blood that should never be associated with anything except mutual pleasure, he hadn’t stopped at beating her.

                I turned to Brulee, “Have you contacted Marco yet?”

                Brulee shook her head and turned with a stricken expression, “We’ll go now, and I’ll ask, but I don’t know if he’ll help…”

                “He will, but if he won’t then find Dr. Kureha of Drum Kingdom,” I told her firmly, “She’s quite likely the best there is. Her prices are weird, but I’ll pay them.”

                “If she’ll save these kids, I’ll pay no matter how weird they are,” Brulee declared, tears starting to form as the pawn troopers and Katakuri slipped back into the mirror as the pool started to collapse from the water.

                As soon as Brulee slipped back beneath the mirrored surface of the water, the pool dissolved. Jango looked over at me as he sidled up, “So uh…you know some interesting people huh?” He glanced at Black Maria and grimaced, “What a waste! Such a beauty and someone did that to her?”

                “She might’ve deserved a bit of a pummeling, but not like this,” I declared quietly as I took in the scope of her injuries.

                “Did I?”

                My heart skipped a beat and I saw a pair of blue eyes each as big as my torso, peering out between swollen, bruised black eyelids and leaking tears. I exhaled, “You’re sadistic, vain and selfish. Poor qualities in a person one and all, but no Maria, you didn’t even come close to deserving this. Nobody deserves...” I glanced at the wreckage of her naked body with a grimace, “This.”

                I sighed, “Is there any part of you that isn’t hurting so I can give you a consoling pat with the reassurances that you’re going to be okay?”

                Maria thought for a moment and then the tears started leaking fresh as she choked out, “No…”

                I nodded and gently patted the air directly in front of her broken and bloody nose, “There, there. Everything’s going to be alright. Brulee’s gone to find a doctor. That glorified trout can’t get to you here. Nobody’s going to hurt you. You’re perfectly safe. Would you like to see a trick?”

                Maria tried to smile as she let out a little huff that made her wince with pain, “Sure… why not?”

                I glanced at Jango, “Jango? Think you can help the lovely lady with the pain?”

                Jango tugged out his chakram with a smile, “You got it Cap’n.”

                I nodded and stepped back as Jango stepped forward, showing Maria his chakram pendulum as he explained that on the count of Jango she wouldn’t feel her injuries anymore. As he started counting gently, I strode over to where Yamato was standing at the end of the path back towards Shimotsuki Village, frozen with horror in the moonlight.

                “Marco’s coming,” I told her quietly as I heard Maria sigh with relief in the background and thank Jango, “Him or the best doctor I know of if Brulee can find her.”

                “Kaido loved those three,” Yamato declared quietly after a moment, “He loved them like he loved me until I said I was going to take up Oden’s will.”

                “There’s a reason he’s the World’s Strongest Monster not the World’s Strongest Man,” I replied grimly.

                “If I had taken my cuffs off, or left Onigashima…” Yamato trailed off for a second, “…those cuffs really would have killed me, wouldn’t they?”

                “I think you might’ve survived the blast. You’re kind of amazing like that, but whatever ship you were on wouldn’t and you’d drown,” I confirmed quietly.

                “I’m gonna kill him,” Yamato declared grimly, her eyes bulging with fury as she strangled the hilt of the new katana at her side, “I. Am going. To kill him.”

                “I don’t think we can pull it off just yet, and definitely not in a straight fight,” then I took a deep breath, “But you mark my words: His days are numbered.”

                Yamato took a shuddering breath to steady herself and then nodded, “How did things go with Arlong?”

                “Fucker ran back to Conomi before I got there,” I snarled, “Had to chase him down. Barely caught him before he made landfall because I went to Loguetown first to make sure he hadn’t. Was nearly sundown when I got there. Handed his and his crew’s heads to Nami about two minutes after I caught up to him.”

                Yamato finally tore her eyes away from her adopted siblings and looked at me, “You sound really angry, what happened?”

                I took a deep breath, swallowed and took a second to choose my words, “After I collapsed from exhaustion, turns out running full tilt all day and then a few minutes of pest extermination really takes it out of me, Sabo and Koala were carrying me back towards Cocoyashi. Nami made a joke to Luffy that she might ought to join us instead of Luffy since I was the one who killed Arlong for her. Luffy took it seriously enough to try and hurl me into the sea over it. I woke up flying through the air and got back to them just in time to hear Luffy say he didn’t want me anywhere near his crew.”

                I turned to face her fully as I saw her do the same and gape at me, “What?! What, why would he…You… you’ve done nothing but try to help them at every turn!”

                I nodded and looked her in the eye, “You know how well I took that too.”

                “Are any of them still alive?” Yamato asked only half jokingly.

                I snorted, “Oh I broke his jaw and sent him flying for it. Heavily considered killing him on the spot, but I didn’t because Sabo and Ace are still our friends and I really don’t feel like having Red Haired Shanks out to return the favor. Armament works when I’m pissed by the way, but I left, after making a declaration that I wish I could’ve consulted you about first.” I pulled her hand up between us and looked her in the eye, “If I become King of the Pirates, will you be my Queen?”

                Yamato blinked in surprise and then blushed so red she glowed faintly in the dark. Her jaw dropped. A little bit of steam might’ve boiled out from under her hair. Finally she glanced away and scratched at her cheek with a shy smile, “Dummy… you can’t just spring questions like that on me… especially not when you already know the answer…”

                I did. That didn’t stop me from grinning ear to ear anyway, “Well then, to the top we go!”

                Yamato grinned back at me, “What’s our plan, King of the Pirates?”

.

.

                “I know it’s romantic as hell but if you keep moving around, you’re going to aggravate your injuries even worse! Hold still dang it!” Marco snapped from next to Maria, Ulti and Page One who were all three covered in veritable bonfires of Marco’s blue and gold healing flames, sitting up already much largely recovered from their beatings. All three plus Brulee and Jango had their hands over their mouths and looked like they were only narrowly holding back a massive squeal as they watched us like the climactic declaration of love between the main characters after at least a season of ‘will they-won’t they?’ on their favorite romcom.

Marco sighed, “Brulee please god tell me you got a picture of that. That was the sweetest thing I’ve seen since Thatch’s last bake sale.”

                “Fifty million beris a copy!” Brulee replied happily as she waved her little snail camera.

                “Done!” Yamato and I called in unison before swapping a glance and bursting out laughing.

Chapter 14: Return of the Golden Lion

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

...

…A Little While Later, Shore of Shimotsuki…

…

                At my suggestion when I heard her fretting about it, Brulee had used her Mirror-Mirror powers and a bit of forced perspective to resize some clothes for Maria so that the massive woman wouldn’t have to go naked. Devil Fruits are concept based nonsense made manifest that run on the simple rule of ‘whatever the user believes they can do’ and I LOVE IT.

                The frilly knee length pink and white dress Brulee gave her probably wasn’t Maria’s preferred style, but I had to agree with Brulee and Ulti, she did look very cute in it. I couldn’t help but ponder what a profoundly strange thought that was to have about someone quadruple my size...

                Ulti and Page One had also been given fresh clothes to replace the ones that had been torn apart and covered in blood in their one-sided beatdown from Kaido. Unlike Maria though, these did look quite a bit like what I remembered those two wearing. Ulti and Page One had apparently lost their masks back on Onigashima, and while I could see why they would wear them, Ulti especially given her preference to try and appear as elegant as possible, I made a mental note to not mention it. Thinking about what I knew very, very well Sandersonia could do with a tongue like that, I could only imagine the kinds of comments she’d probably heard that made her want to cover it up.

                After Brulee, Katakuri and Marco had left, the pawn troopers in tow (and I tried hard not to think about what would happen to those helpful little homunculi to ensure their silence if they couldn’t be sworn to secrecy enforced by their nature as homies), Yama-chan and I sat around a fire with Jango, Maria, Ulti and Page One. We hadn’t realized this was going to be a crew meeting, but we’d introduce them to Kuina tomorrow.

                “Wait, so you’ve been trying to help these little punks for weeks, even being all hands off because for some godforsaken reason they were freaked out by you actually knowing things and being able to help them, and then this little idiot tries to throw you into the sea while you’re unconscious from exhaustion running halfway across the ocean to help him because his little girlfriend teased him about maybe liking you better?!” Ulti demanded, her voice and body both steadily rising until she was on her suddenly scaled feet shouting in her hybrid form with a look that screamed ‘murder imminent’.

                I took a long slow sip of my sake before calmly meeting her gaze, “…Yep.”

                “AND YOU DIDN’T KILL THAT LITTLE INGRATE ON THE SPOT?!” Ulti bellowed.

                “Yeee-ep,” I replied dryly.

                All the fire in Ulti just seemed to freeze in stunned confusion that I was being so completely blasé about it. After a moment she asked, “…why?”

                “Checkers,” Jango replied.

                Then when Ulti, Page One and Maria looked at him in confusion, he elaborated, “He’s playing checkers with their lives.”

                They all three looked back to me in shock as I took another drink, although I also noticed that Yamato was looking at me in equal shock as I took my time draining the bottle.

                Undeterred, Jango continued, “The last captain I worked for, Kuro, and his rival Blue Jam, they were two of the smartest and most successful pirates in the East Blue, and they both had that same way about them. That sort of way that makes you believe they’ve got an answer for anything, not just an answer, THE answer. I was curious about it one time so I asked Kuro how he did it, he said the simplest way to put it to a simpleton like me was that it was like a game of checkers. He loses a single piece now, but it puts his enemy in position for him to wipe the whole board in one swoop!”

                “Bones wouldn’t do that,” Yamato protested, “He actually does like Luffy’s crew.”

                I finally finished draining the bottle and set it down, “Both are correct, except for one thing.” I grinned, “I won’t be losing a single piece. I’m taking it all.”

                I glanced around at the ever so slightly floored expressions, “Where I’m from we have a thing called Xanatos Speed Chess, it’s what you call it when someone rolls with every punch thrown and turns it into an opening to strike, even on a metaphorical level. Those who can do it well enough make it seem as though no matter what the outcome of any given situation is, it was entirely according to their plan. I wasn’t kidding when I told Reiju that my extensive training was in how to be a magnificent bastard rather than a merely manipulative one.”

                “Our dear rubber boy has made a very grave error in making an enemy of me so early in his bid for the One Piece,” I explained, “I’m not sure any of his crew realize yet just how bad. There is a test coming up which I will be using to determine his value in this little game of life. If he survives, then I know that fate still favors him, so I will be able to rely on his participation for the next stage. If he doesn’t for whatever reason, we absorb his crew immediately and I play a bit of Xanatos Speed Chess.”

                “So, what? You’ve already got every step of the road to take the One Piece planned out?” Page One asked with a skeptical curiously.

                “Not every step,” I admitted, “But a couple of key points we’ll benefit from and enough flexibility to ensure our goals are advanced barring the most absolutely unrecoverable scenarios. First and foremost among our immediate goals is the downfall and disgrace of the Warlord Crocodile. Death,” I added with a finger gun to my head, “If I can arrange it. If not, no biggy. The reason this is important is because currently in his employ is the woman who is in no uncertain terms the key to the One Piece. Currently using the alias of Miss All Sunday, you may have heard of Nico Robin.”

                My grin grew as I heard Page One, Ulti and Maria suck in a sharp unified breath. Good, they knew exactly who I was talking about. I looked at Yama-chan and more so Jango since there was a chance Yama-chan knew what I was about to say already, “For perspective, the roadmap to Laugh Tale is written on ancient stones called the Poneglyphs in a language that has been purposely suppressed by the World Government to the point of near extinction. Nico Robin is quite possibly the only person alive who can read that language, and therefore the directions to Laugh Tale.”

                I looked fully at Yama-chan then, “Even if Oden-sama recorded the details in his journal, I don’t think we should use that, for a couple of reasons. First of all, he did not leave that journal behind as a treasure map and it should not be used as such. Anyone attempting to make off with the journal, if you don’t kill them, I will.”

                “Secondly,” I glanced back to Page One, Ulti and Maria as I raised a second finger, “We have to consider that even if Oden-sama did write instructions to reach Laugh Tale in his journal, he may have accidentally or even intentionally left out details to prevent anyone who stole it using it to reach Laugh Tale. He was a close friend of Roger’s, and Roger wouldn’t have wanted someone who couldn’t earn his respect getting their hands on his treasure. When he found out one of his crew had made an Eternal Pose to Laugh Tale, he hurled it into the sea. He offered the One Piece to Whitebeard, and Whitebeard turned it down. I don’t care if any of you like Roger or give even half a shit about his legacy beyond the One Piece. We’re doing this the right way or we risk running into whatever tom fool, sneak ass, complete and utter devilry the Pirate King could’ve come up with to deal with cheaters after his demise. Do I make myself clear?”

                A round of affirmatives later I nodded, “Good. Third, as I said, Nico Robin is quite possibly the only person in the world who can read the Poneglyphs, and it is her life’s ambition to discover the truth of the Void Century, which is inscribed on nine of the thirty that I know of. Can any of you think of better incentive for her to join us than the locations of multiple Poneglyphs? If she joins us, then that’s the best option available in our pocket and blocked to everyone else. Also, before anyone even thinks of trying to force her to join us, this is a woman who could regrow any limb you cared to cut off with a thought if you could even land a hit on her at all, kill the whole lot of us in our sleep and disappear over the side before anyone realized she’d slipped her cuffs. It is imperative that she join us willingly and be made to feel at home and more importantly safe. That is a commodity she hasn’t enjoyed since she was a child, and she hasn’t felt sincerely cared about in the same period. She’ll return whatever treatment we give her. If we keep her at arm’s length and treat her as a tool or a resource, she’ll do the same. If we treat her as family we’d kill or even die to protect, she’ll do the same.”

                “Everyone following so far?” I asked cheerfully, “Any questions?”

                “Y-you haven’t been looking at us this way, have you?” Yama-chan asked shakily, and I’d lie if I didn’t have to blink back the start of tears at hearing that fear and doubt in her voice.

                “Not you,” I replied quietly, “Never you.”

                “B-but, you’re talking about Robin, and you told me how much you like her and…” Yamato trailed off as I gently squeezed her hand.

                “Yeah,” I replied quietly with a small little smile that almost ached with the need for her to believe this simple truth, “I like Robin a lot. LIKE. I love you. That’s a bit different.” I took a breath and then brought my voice back to normal volume as I shot a glance at the ever so small crew, “I suppose for the sake of transparency, I should also mention now that I have quite a significant crush on Robin and would really enjoy having her on our crew. I think everyone else would as well, but it is true, my motives in wanting her on our crew are rather selfish. That said, the point stands. She’s the best key to the puzzle box of a road map to Laugh Tale, and she is not an asset that can be acquired by force.”

                Page One snorted, “Dude, you’re a pirate. It’s fine to be selfish. You want a certain side piece and Yamato’s down for it? No big deal! She’s an amazing asset on top of her assets? Even better!”

                Maria exhaled a tad shakily, “As… crudely put as that was, even with what… just happened to us, I have to agree. There is nothing wrong with indulging your wants. That’s why people become pirates. You’re our captain now, that means we help you get what you want. Thank you for the warning about trying to be forceful with Robin though, I… can’t say for certain that the thought wouldn’t have entered my mind if she’d been…resistant, about joining.”

                “Yeah, you don’t have to give us a whole bunch of reasons,” Ulti added, “Just tell us what we need to win and how and we’ll do it! That’s what captains do! I’m sure you figured it out already but I haven’t got a lot of patience, so while I appreciate you trying to be a good leader for us explaining the plan and all, I’m happier if you just tell me who to headbutt and let me go wild! Oh, and I’m sure it goes without saying,” her expression darkened drastically, “but if you ever try to do what Kaido did to us, I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU.”

                I grinned and gave her a thumbs up, “Love that energy Ulti! We’re family now, and family looks out for each other.” Ulti sat back with a pleased huff and a nod, I turned to Maria, “Maria, I hope you understand that you can come to me and Yama-chan with anything, and if anyone touches you in a way you don’t like or if you don’t feel safe, we will not allow whoever made you feel that way to go unpunished. You’re one of us now and we protect our own. Page One,” I shot him a tired slightly crooked grin, “thank you, that kind of solidarity was hard to come by where I’m from.”

                Lastly, I turned to Jango, “Any further questions?”

                “What kind of hell is waiting for Strawhat that you’d take him surviving it as a sign of fate?” Jango asked curiously.

                “An old rival of Red Haired Shanks is waiting in Loguetown to kill him,” I replied with a crooked grin and a shrug, “If he survives that, especially by something as ridiculous as a lightning bolt striking Roger’s execution platform just in time to save him, then I’d say that’s a fair sign fate isn’t done with him yet, wouldn’t you? If things go as I’ve seen, then he’ll have three very close brushes with death within the next…” I paused and did some quick figuring, “two to three months, two of which he’ll only survive by insane amounts of luck. Loguetown is the first.”

                I exhaled, “Of course, there’s also the very real possibility that he may simply decide to not go anywhere near Loguetown just because I was supposed to meet a member of his crew there, and that’s a meeting we’ve already had, so they may not fight him overly hard about that. If that’s the case, then his timing will be off, and there’s an extremely high chance we’ll need to go to Plan B.”

                “What’s Plan B?” Yama-chan asked curiously.

                “We pick up a couple of new recruits beyond the ones I had already intended to and rather than watching Crocodile’s entire operation collapse when Strawhat hits it like the sentient wrecking ball he is and then swooping to spring and recruit his heavy hitters after the Navy chucks them into a cell, we just wind up co-opting their strongest assets a little bit sooner and more piecemeal than in Plan A,” I replied with a grin before adding, “That said, I don’t expect Nami to remember my offhanded comment about Buggy being in Loguetown waiting to ambush them since she was on the verge of a panic attack when I said it, and I didn’t leave Reiju any notes about what was waiting in Loguetown because I knew she’d try to avoid it if she knew, which is a severe deviation and would require Plan B, which at that point I had no intention of implementing.”

                “What’s so important in Loguetown?” Jango asked curiously, “I know it’s home to the toughest Marine in the East Blue and the site of the Pirate King’s birth and death, but I feel like there’s something more for you to be angling so hard to get them to go there.”

                I nodded, “You’re right Jango, four very important things are set to happen in Loguetown, and three of the four are the result of a single miraculous instant. You see, in the future I saw, Buggy ambushes Strawhat successfully, pins him atop the Pirate King’s execution platform, and goes to publicly execute him. When the blade is mere inches from taking Strawhat’s head off, a lightning bolt strikes the blade and the execution platform, sending it crumbling to the ground, freeing Strawhat and dazing Buggy enough for Strawhat to get away. This debacle will spur three people to follow Strawhat into the Grand Line: Buggy the Clown, Captain Smoker, and Bartolomeo of the local mob, each of whom are strong candidates to play utterly critical roles in our future operations.”

                “Now though,” I continued, “We’re not in that timeline, and the result of that instant, should it occur as I saw, will tell me exactly how to proceed. If Strawhat dies, then we absorb his crew into our own, and we go to Plan B, following a path I know far better than the other one I’d set. If he goes around, then we just need to speak with the Keeper of the Twin Peaks Lighthouse at the foot of Reverse Mountain to determine whether or not Strawhat did what was needed of him there to start Crocodile’s downfall. If he didn’t, we go to Plan B. If things play out as I saw, with Strawhat surviving on bazillion to one odds, then I can count on him proceeding as I foresaw, and we move ahead with Plan A.” I let that hang in the air for a moment, “Any questions?”

                Ulti raised her hand, “So, are you gonna kill him?”

                “No,” I replied simply, “but I won’t be helping him either. Tell me, can you guess why Strawhat would never kill an opponent?”

                All four of our newest crewmembers thought for a very long moment before admitting they didn’t, although Maria hazarded a guess: “Is it so he can force them to bend the knee and join him, like Kaido does with those who challenge him?”

                I smiled, “Not a bad guess, and though in the future I saw he made many former foes into allies of circumstance, that sort of forward thinking is entirely beyond his capabilities. No, he does it for a much simpler reason. He does it, because the cruelest thing he can think of is to leave somebody alive with their dreams in ruins at their feet.”

                Yamato jerked in surprise and looked at me in disbelief. I couldn’t blame her. If it wasn’t for word of Goda, I probably wouldn’t have believed it myself. Jango, Page One, Ulti and Maria on the other hand all accepted it immediately. Page One actually raised an eyebrow in surprised respect, “So you’re going to do the exact same thing to him as payback for scorning your help?”

                I snapped and pointed to him with a vicious grin, “Exactly. I wanted very badly to be his friend and join him on his way to the top. I’d have gleefully been one of his strongest assets for the chance to enjoy the adventure and madness that he seems drawn to like a magnet, but if he wants me for an enemy, I’ll be the worst enemy he’s ever been too stupid to imagine!”

                “Originally, I had two goals aside from just enjoying everything this world has to offer. First was to remember what falling in love feels like and get it right this time, check and mate on that one,” I added with a grinning glance at Yama-chan who gave me a soft little smile and blush that made my heart soar before I continued, “and the other was to topple that utter farce on the name of Justice called the World Government, especially those fat worthless fucks, the Celestial Dragons. Now? I’ll become Pirate King and raise the mightiest crew this world’s ever seen to do it, and I’ll steal Strawhat’s dream right out from under him in the process as the icing on top! I’m going to make him into a funny little footnote in the history books, because there won’t be a person in this world who doesn’t know who we are!”

                I sat forward and gave my very best megalomaniacal grin, “So, what say you me hearties? Are. You. IN?”

                “AYE CAPTAIN!”

                And thus were the World Tour Pirates formally founded.

                Yes, the World Tour Pirates. Yamato’s my beloved co-captain even if I’m the plan guy, and if we went with the epithet I had then, we’d have been the ‘Whitebeard Jr. Pirates’ which frankly sounds incredibly stupid.

…

…Meanwhile, Marineford…

…

                Sengoku snapped awake on the couch in his office that was his bed often as not. The officer who had been assigned to monitor the Transponder Snail, waiting for confirmation of the tip off I’d given them about Shiki had just knocked and now poked his head in, “Fleet Admiral Sir! We’ve just received contact from Cipher Pol!”

                Sengoku sat up as the man hurried to bring the Transponder Snail with the Fu Manchu, sunglasses and a scar over one eye. “This is Fleet Admiral Sengoku. Report.”

                “Jabra of CP9 reporting sir,” the snail replied, “Tip off confirmed. Merville is hanging in the sky, exactly as described. There’s no way this is anything but Shiki’s doing, and I’ve been getting chased all over these damn flying islands by monsters for hours. I fully agree with the assessment provided by the tip off, these things are insanely aggressive and absurdly strong. They’d rip through an army of soldiers without checking up, let alone unarmed civilians. I was also able to confirm the tip’s information about the village of civilians. One of them confirmed what the tipoff said about Shiki’s plans to demolish the East Blue. I don’t know who this source of yours was, but they were right about everything.”

                “Damn,” Sengoku swore quietly, “I was hoping it was a ruse.”

                “No such luck sir,” Jabra replied, “Shiki’s here and his forces are exactly what we were told, ah, except for the fifty extra pirate crews from the Grand Line. He hasn’t brought them in yet, though it seems he’s been in the process of that. Currently none of them are here, so there’s that at least. His actual soldiers number just over a thousand men, and they’re all hopped up on some kind of steroid that his mad scientist Indigo cooked up. They’re all at least ten feet tall, and even the puniest one I saw in their training area was casually benching a couple of tons. I’ve recovered samples of the steroid, located and stolen Indigo’s notes, and I’ve got a sack full of dirt and those plants sitting here next to me. Had to get a bit rough with Indigo, but I’ve got him too.”

                “Do you think you can assassinate Shiki?” Sengoku asked solemnly.

                “With all due respect sir, I’m the best, but even I’m not that good,” Jabra replied, “The crazy old bastard seals his entire quarters with over a foot of solid steel whenever he wants to sleep to keep any of the civilians he’s keeping as slaves from getting ideas. Even if I broke through, he’d wake up immediately, and judging by the profile we’ve got on him, I’m pretty sure he’d kick my ass. My informant told me the crazy old bastard uses these Hell Beasts as punching bags, and trust me, these things live up to the hype that tip gave ‘em, so it’s pretty safe to say he hasn’t lost a step. By my estimate even the weakest of those monsters could handle a hundred normal soldiers easily. Besides, the entire island would drop even if I did manage to kill him, and then any of the hell beasts that survived would be cut loose on the sea below. The only thing keeping them contained is that they’re way up here.”

                Sengoku nodded grimly, “Fair enough, protect the civilians as best you can should the need arise. Ensure that no matter what else happens you do not lose those notes, they’re probably the most valuable thing on Merville right now. The fleet will arrive at dawn. Good work agent, we will see you in the morning.”

                “Yessir,” Jabra replied before hanging up.

                Sengoku looked up at the man who’d brought him the snail, “Dismissed.” The man saluted and hurried out of the room, giving Sengoku the privacy he needed to process the simple fact that I had been right, and all that entailed. He took off his glasses, ran his hands over his face and into his afro and then made use of the sound proofing around his office to bark a single word with such volume that all of Marineford still heard him: “FUCK!”

…

…Sunrise, Merville…

…

                The fleet erupted into existence in a massive burst of pink light. Ten massive war ships and over ten thousand Navy soldiers, all armed to the teeth, and led by five of the strongest and most respected marines in the world, Ain had just moved them all instantly.

                Ain, on the deck of her own ship at the center of the fleet surrounded by three of her heroes and two of the three Admirals, collapsed to her knees and was promptly violently sick. The instant they’d finished materializing, pain spiked through her brain, a cold sweat breaking out all over her body and her stomach continued to spasm as her muscles ached and her energy fled in an instant like she’d just been through the most unrelentingly brutal work out of her life. She nearly blacked out from the pain and exhaustion, but she narrowly managed to fight through it and hold herself up on her hands and knees.

                That said, she very fervently wished she could’ve afforded to pass out, regardless of the fact that she’d have done so in a pile of her own vomit. She couldn’t make out what was said, but all of a sudden as something grabbed the back of her uniform, all the structure in her body vanished and she was confronted with the utterly uncanny sensation of being completely limber although that didn’t lessen the pain. She belatedly realized that she’d been given the properties of a piece of fabric and then she was being scrubbed and wrung through a tight space before being unceremoniously popped like a towel or rug being shaken out. In the instant that pop took, all her exhaustion and pain went flying out of her like it had never been there at all.

                A second later she was back on her feet and back to normal, feeling all the way back to a hundred percent although very hungry.

                “Sorry Sweety, it may’ve been uncomfortable but it was the fastest way to get you back on your feet,” Vice Admiral Tsuru declared in a very not-sorry-sounding voice as she adjusted the rifle slung over her shoulder. She herself had been de-aged to her mid-thirties and looked for all the world like Ain’s older, more mature sister rather than her grandmother.

                She was actually very much looking forward to getting to show her granddaughter how Granny used to do it. She couldn’t decide what she was more excited about, getting to really show off for her granddaughter or the prospect of getting to really truly fight alongside her instead of just being her commanding officer. She was completely and utterly sure that Garp was terribly jealous of her for getting to share their profession with her grandchildren, but being the good friend she was, she’d never once pointed it out. Add on to that the way her granddaughter had just moved an entire Buster Call’s worth of men, munitions, weapons and ships in an instant over a week’s sailing distance? She was quite possibly prouder and more excited than she’d ever been in her life.

                Before Ain could reply, or anyone could congratulate her on such an impressive feat, a horrible feeling overcame every member of the fleet with even a shred of Observation Haki. “GET US OUT OF HERE!” Garp yelled an instant before the sea erupted under them, surging skyward and forming a massive dome over the fleet. It was a simple, and horrifyingly effective means of trapping any devil fruit users inside for whatever the trapper wanted...like drowning them.

                Since when could he control water with his powers?! Everyone who’d ever seen the Golden Lion in action thought in mounting terror. Golden Lion Shiki was infamous for capsizing ships in an instant, flinging and strangling people with their own clothes bent to his will, turning his enemies’ own weapons against them, and unleashing broadsides faster and more precise than any cannon could shoot with the ability to change their direction midair to chase down his enemies with just a thought. Controlling the sea itself though? That was a new and truly horrifying development.

                Even Kizaru wouldn’t be able to pass through the dome Shiki had created without blasting a hole through it. The sea water would force him out of his light form and leave him hitting the water dome like a meteor…an impact he’d be incredibly hard pressed to survive even assuming it didn’t leave him trapped in the water paralyzed or falling unconscious into the water outside the dome, either way he’d drown. Any Devil Fruit user would be trapped.

                Well, any but one. Apparently, I was the only one who hadn’t been to Merville who knew Shiki could do that, and to be fair, I DID tell them who to send in large part because of that.

                As everyone else looked around in horror, Admiral Aokiji took off invisibly fast to try to freeze the dome so it could be shattered. Before he’d made it halfway to the wall of water though, massive statues of lion heads began to burst through the water at cannonball speeds, raining down through the dome like a meteor storm. Half the ships were irreparably destroyed in an instant, and all were damaged as the earthen statues changed, turning into full lions that sank their claws into the ships’ timbers and began to drag them into the sea.

                Before Ain could react, the world fell away below them as the water suddenly leapt away from the hull of her ship and all the others as well, letting them plummet towards the watery depths below. As the soldiers that hadn’t been crushed by Shiki’s bombardment screamed in terror, Ain called on her power as hard as she could in desperation to save her comrades, and everything went black.

…

…A Moment Later, Marineford…

…

                Sengoku had barely made it back to his desk from the balcony of his office where he’d stood to see the fleet off when he heard the sound of the fleet returning with a massive splash. He turned and bolted back to the balcony, and his heart froze in horror as he saw ten massive wrecks that had been proud, powerful battle ships not fifteen minutes ago appear in the bay in a blaze of pink light and begin to sink. Sengoku grabbed up the snail mic hooked up to the loud speakers and yelled for all Marineford to hear, “ALL HANDS TO THE BAY AT ONCE! MULTIPLE SHIPS SINKING! I REPEAT, ALL HANDS TO THE BAY! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!”

                Before he himself could leap over the balcony and head for the bay himself, he heard a sound that chilled him to his core: Badipadipadip! Badipadipadip! Someone was calling him…on the snail reserved for CP9.

                Sengoku’s breath caught in his throat as all the color drained out of his face. He walked over to the snail and answered it, numbly ordering, “Report.”

                “JIIIIIIHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!” Shiki laughed before crowing, “I bet you t’ought you were gonna get ze drop on me huh Sengoku?! I don’t know how you found me, wheah doze ships went, or what Devil Fruit you used to get zem heah so fast, but come and try again any time you like! I’ll sink as many as you want to send!”

                Sengoku grit his teeth and nearly crushed the transponder in his hand, “I take it you’ve killed the man who was in possession of this snail?”

                “Jihahaha, yaaah, I woz right behind him when you wuh talkin’ to him, boat I haf to hand it to your little pohppy dohg,” Shiki replied sounding almost wistful, “He poot up one hell of a fight aftah he stabbed all of de steroid shots he stole frohm me into himself in one go! It was de craziest move I have evah seen, reminded me ov de kind ov stunt Kaido would hav pooled! I guess all Zoan types ah crazy eh? Doh I haf to admit, it was very enlightening to see how well a Zoan type took to them! I actually had to use mah hands for a minute there! He did not quite awaken on de spot, boat any ohdinary mahn would have keeled over from his haht stopping due to de stress of adjusting to the changes to his body. If I had not had to slit his troat so deep I neahly took his head off I’d have offered to make him my second in command. Kept coming aht me even wit his goats hanging out an draggin’ across de ground, hell bent on bringin’ me down! Dat kind ov spirit is hahd to come by! Don’t worry, I made sure to give him a propah burial. A foe like dat deserves at least dat much respect.”

                “You haven’t changed a bit have you Shiki?” Sengoku asked grimly.

                “Nah, I’m oldah and wisah,” Shiki grinned, “Boht I’m sure you want to be checking on yoah men, so I’ll let you go now. Tanks for the mohning entatainment!” Ka-lick!

                Sengoku hung the snail mic up with a scowl, turned and took a running start to leap out the window to go help with the rescue efforts now consuming the bay.

…

…Meanwhile, Shore of Shimotsuki…

…

“The Devil went down to Loguetown,

he was lookin’ for a soul to steal.

He was in a bind cause he was way behind,

He was willin’ to make a deal…”

                Completely unaware at the time of the disastrous routing of the Navy task force I’d set in motion to deal with Shiki, I was singing as I casually heaved, tossed and hammered boards into place. Yama-chan had headed back to the forge as the sun was coming up after giving me a very hot good morning kiss with a wink and the promise of more later. Unable to even begin going back to sleep after a wake up call like that, I’d started back in on expanding our ship.

                Jango had headed into town to try to see what we’d be able to procure for supplies here and what we’d have to get in Loguetown. It may come as a shock to some, but even the blood thirstier pirates do actually usually just buy the stuff they want unless they work for one of the Four Emperors in their territory and can get away with it because their boss is the law. The plunder and pillage bit of piracy is a lot less useful if you haven’t got a fence to sell your loot, and cash and even gold and silver are frankly useless to most people for anything except buying things. You can’t buy things if every shop keep knows you roughed up the other shop keep two islands over or dine and dash regularly. Merchants talk, it’s their business, and anyone who thinks they can get away with screwing over a shopkeeper and ever be welcome in that port again is in for a VERY rude awakening in the form of poisoned goods, getting shot in the back of the head by a vengeful victim, or even easier just every civilian in that port squealing to the Marines and every bounty hunter in the area where you are.

                Page One was fishing a ways down the shore on top of what looked like a rather nice rock to sit on. Every once in a while, he’d pull in a fish and toss it in the basket next to him. He looked absolutely content with life, and honestly I think he could probably have sat there fishing away for the rest of his days and been pleased as punch with that lot in life.

                Ulti was… somewhere. I wasn’t sure where, but she’d headed off into the forest in the direction of the mountains with a self-professed lack of destination in mind and said she’d be back later. She was stronger than anybody I could think of in the East Blue at that point who wasn’t on our crew sans Sabo and maybe Koala, and Dragon if he was around, but her odds of encountering and scrapping with any of those people were super-slim to none, so I wasn’t worried about her.

                Maria had actually opted to just hang around and help hand me things. It crossed my mind that perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I was not wearing a shirt. Was I being ogled? Was it vain of me to consider that an extremely valid possibility? Probably, but after the utterly amazing night I’d had on Disco Ball Island, I was pretty firmly convinced that this body was at minimum rather easy on the eyes for the ladies. It did nice things for my ego, made me really happy and made me want to really show what I could do, so I wasn’t about to question it overly much.

                Speaking of what I could do, in the two days I’d worked on it, our ship had gone from perhaps twenty feet long with a cabin barely high enough for Yama-chan to not have to crawl to get into, to the skeleton of a galleon six times the size. It’s worth noting that the only reason I had been able to make such insane progress was due to my ridiculous speed and strength letting me cut all the lumber in a single day and hammer every nail in a single swing. Being strong enough to bend steel casually with my bare hands made forcing the lumber into shape for me to nail it a piece of cake, and being able to make jigsaw like cuts so the whole thing fit together like a giant glorious puzzle that would hold its shape even before I nailed it together helped too.

                Normally this kind of progress would take a team of a dozens of men, damn well coordinated and skilled ones at that. Alternatively, one properly motivated Franky plus the crew from Galley La could pull it off, but let’s face it: like many things in this wide wild wacky wonderful world, those guys run on pure nonsensoleum.

“When he walked up on this young man saw him on a guitar and playin it hot!

Devil jumped up on an old sea chest and said Boy lemme tell ya what!

I bet you didn’t even know it but I’m a guitar player too!

Now you’re a pretty damn good strummer boy, but let’s give the Devil his due,

I’ll bet this locker o’ gold against your soul I think I’m better’n you!”

                “…Thank you again Maria, this is a tremendous help,” I smiled as I plucked a handful of nails from the bucket in Maria’s fingers as she held it up for me near the top of the hull. The five gallon bucket of nails was barely a thimble for her. Yama-chan had promised to help her figure out how to shrink to a more manageable size with her Zoan powers. Given that she was a spider zoan, we were certain she’d be able to, but for now, there was no need, and it did make things easier for me since being so tall let her save me a LOT of trips up and down to the ground.

                “My pleasure Captain,” Maria smiled, and even knowing what I knew about how she treated men caught in her web, I couldn’t help but note how incredibly pretty she was when she smiled sincerely. Did Brulee intentionally put her in a dress that looked exceptionally fetching on her, or was it just a coincidence? She giggled and I suppose that mental note must’ve shown on my face. I nodded, not wanting to say anything and possibly make her uncomfortable.

                Before I could start singing again, Maria asked, “Captain, that song you’re singing, is that a true legend?”

                I blinked up at her in surprise, “Huh?” Then I smiled, “Oh no, not at all, it’s a song back home. I changed a few lyrics to make it fit for these waters, but no, I don’t think there’s any real substance to the story of the song.”

                “Well, it’s certainly a very catchy song,” Maria declared with a smile, “Please do continue, I’m quite enjoying it.” Guess I sound nice too, I mused happily as I nodded and went back to singing as I went back to hammering…

“The boy said, ‘Well my name’s Davy, and it might be a sin…

But I’ll take yo bet, you gonna regret

cause I’m the best that’s ever been!

Jonesy tighten up yo’ strings and play yo guitar hard!

Cause Hell’s broke loose in Loguetown and the Devil deals the cards!

And if you win you’ll get this locker full o’ shiny gold,

But if you lose the Devil gets your sooooul!”

                I proceeded to scat out the instrumental bridge as I went, before pausing, “Ah, can you hand me piece number 35T? It’s over there in the pile of slightly curved and grooved timbers, closest row to you a bit to the left of your foot.” Maria quickly spotted and handed me the piece in question. I’d labeled all the pieces to keep myself from mixing them up, but now that I had a helper, it helped her keep feeding me the pieces steadily so I could work continuously rather than having to stop and start constantly.

                “Thank you,” I let off with a smile as I slid the piece into place and thumped a nail in to hold it before attaching the brace with another nail and moving over to the next piece to attach the brace there. It was all a rather acrobatic business, but I was doing alright. Not having to worry about falling due to this body’s durability helped a LOT.

 

“The Devil opened up his case and he said ‘I’ll start this show!’

And fiiire flew from his fingertips as he tuned his strings down low…

Then he pulled his pick across the strings and it made an evil hiss!

Then a band of demons all joined in and it sounded somethin’ like this…”

 

(another scatting of instrumental mimicry to Maria’s immense amusement as she handed me the next piece)

 

“When the Devil finished, Davy said ‘Well you’re pretty good ol’ son!

Now sit ya old ass in that chair right there I’ma show ya how this thing’s done!

 

(my mimicry of an epic guitar solo, and the expressions that went along with it made Maria have to sit down as she laughed so hard she couldn’t stand up)

“The Devil bowed his head, because he knew that he’d been beat,

And he set that locker of gold there on the ground at Davy’s feet.

Davy said ‘Devil come on back if ya ever wanna try again,

But I done told you once you son of a bitch, I’m the best that’s ever been!”

                I repeated my mimicry of an epic guitar solo and then just hung from the skeleton of the ship, smiling as I watched Maria laugh. If she’s over her jealousy thing, and the uh… rest of it… images flashed through my head of manga panels depicting men caught in her web to be her personal chorus sycophants, from one of the last chapters I’d gotten to read, yeah… maybe if she proves she’s COMPLETELY past all of that… god she’s pretty… maybe? Not likely, I admitted to myself as I clambered up to the top of the piece that I’d just nailed in place to survey what I’d built so far, visualizing the plans in my head again as I did, But it’s not like I didn’t fully plan to build that bed for a minimum of four anyway.

…

…Later That Morning, Marineford…

…

                The sun streamed in through the window, but it brought no warmth to the four old people sitting in the office of the Fleet Admiral. A horrible, heavy silence hung over them. Normally a lot of words would apply to these four, such as ‘seasoned’, ‘powerful’, ‘respected’ and a whole lot of other synonyms that would attempt to speak to their utterly incalculable value to their organization and their shared purpose of upholding the ideals of Justice and Order. Today though, following the disastrous routing of the task force sent to deal with Shiki the Golden Lion, none of those words felt like they fit. That day, all any of them felt was old and distraught.

                Ten battleships, enough to demolish even a moderately sized island, had all been in no uncertain terms demolished. Split in half, rent open, flooded and half sunk. The cost in money alone was a staggering amount that would break any organization smaller than a major government. The loss of fire power was equal to the military might of some small countries.

                Five thousand, eight hundred and ninety-nine men had been grievously injured, crushed, impaled, drowned… all in the space of a minute. Five thousand, eight hundred and ninety-nine men, a very sizable percentage of which would never see home or their families again. Another percentage would live the rest of their lives crippled in some way. By the preliminary estimates of Marineford’s utterly swamped medics, only a little over forty two percent would be making a full recovery.

                In the space of a minute, Shiki the Golden Lion had sent a Buster Call sized reminder to the world of why he was a legend. The fifty pirate crews I had estimated he’d find willing to join him would be easy to find if word of this got out. Forget fifty, he’d have half the pirates in Paradise clamoring to join him. If news of what happened to an entire Buster Call’s worth of battleships got out, Shiki could very quickly find himself commanding a force comparable to any of his old crewmates. The might of a pirate who after this would be considered still equal to any of the Four Emperors, and none of the danger of the New World to join him would draw underlings to him like moths to a roaring flame. He’d be the first pirate of such caliber most encountered now, and he was very well known to believe in strength above all, both personal and in numbers.

                None of the four old people in Sengoku’s office gave even the faintest fraction of a damn about any of that right that particular second though, horrible as it may seem at a glance.

                “I am so sorry Tsuru,” Sengoku told his oldest friend quietly.

                Five thousand, eight hundred and ninety-nine men…

                …and one beautiful, brilliant young woman whose body they hadn’t been able to find.

                The nature of Devil Fruits like Ain’s Return-Return fruit, or Modo-modo no mi, was that the effects were permanent until either she changed her mind, or suffered a violent enough shock to her system to disrupt her power. Being knocked out or critically injured would be enough to do it, but all too often the complete dispelling of a Devil Fruit’s powers was a surefire sign of a fatality.

                The most dangerous aspect of Ain’s ability had always been the de-aging, because she could reverse age someone right out of existence with ease. One of the ideas I’d given her along with mass application of her power’s transport ability to move entire armies was to overcharge her power and emit her de-aging bolts as a stacked wave to wipe out enemies en masse and near instantaneously, something we’d excitedly dubbed the “Eraser Modo.”

                Tsuru, Garp and Zephyr had been returned to their proper age upon return to Marineford, and it made the fact that they couldn’t find Ain’s body now just that much more stressful, because it pointed to an answer none of them wanted.

                To say Tsuru and Zephyr were utterly inconsolable would be an understatement, and out of respect for their grief, I’m not going to recount anything further about what was said as they set about writing my friend’s eulogy.

                They all blamed me, and I can’t fault them for that one damn bit.

                I blame me too.

…

…That Night, Outskirts of Cocoyashi…

…

                Nami and Nojiko had walked home together from the party in silence, and rather than go into the house in the tangerine grove, on unspoken agreement they kept walking. Before long they were seated at the foot of a grave on a cliff overlooking the sea. It was a funny spot, the wind always blew a certain way here, in from the sea in the morning, bringing the harsh salty scent of the ocean, and dragging the calming scent of the tangerine groves behind them up the hill in the evening and at night. It had always been Bellemere’s favorite spot, and Nami and Nojiko couldn’t count the number of times they’d played with her here.

                They sat there in silence for quite some time. Nojiko noticed when Nami started to cry, but rather than say anything, she just wrapped an arm around her sister’s shoulders and tugged her into a hug. She shot a glance at the grave, “He’s finally gone Bellemere, Nami went and found friends who came and… Nami?”

                Nami’s fingers had clenched in the fabric of Nojiko’s shirt at the mention of her friends and her breath had hitched in a very uncomfortable way. Nojiko held her a little tighter, “Nami? What’s wrong?”

                “…I’m scared Noji,” Nami declared softly, “I can go and live my dream. I can leave knowing home will be here waiting for me when I come back, but… will I get to come back?”

                Nojiko stiffened, “Of course you will, you can always come home!”

                Nami shook her head softly, “…Luffy. I don’t think Luffy will ever let me go if I get on his ship.”

                “The guy in the straw hat with the busted jaw?” Nojiko asked, mentally noting the harmless, happy-go-lucky air the young man in the straw hat had, “He seemed harmless, what did he do that’s got you so scared?”

                “When we were walking back, after Bones killed Arlong…” Nami started and Nojiko immediately filed away that the person who’d taken down Arlong hadn’t been with the group that brought back his crew’s heads in a sack, “…I joked to Luffy that maybe I should join Bones’s crew instead of his. I… it was just a joke Noji… but he… even after all the help Bones has given us… even after he called Arlong out for a one on one duel and then ran all the way across the East Blue to fight Arlong himself to keep him from getting at us again when Arlong wasn’t at the spot he’d called him to and slaughtered Arlong’s whole crew singlehanded… all because he’d said he would for me…”

                Nojiko raised both eyebrows, she hadn’t known about that.

                “Even after all that…” Nami repeated quietly, “…one little joke and Luffy tried to hurl Bones into the sea while he was unconscious. He… he tried to kill someone over me Noji… What… what’s he going to do if I don’t sail with him? What’ll he do if I ever decide I want to leave? He’s crazy strong and fast, if… if he decided to hurt me there’s absolutely nothing I’d be able to do to him…”

                “Uh…” started a voice that was very much not Nojiko or Nami from maybe three feet behind where they’d been sitting.

                “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” Nojiko and Nami leapt to their feet and spun, screaming in unison as Luffy spoke up.

                Luffy scratched his head, his jaw still purple and swollen from where I’d broken it. He blinked, looking very confused and a bit bashful before he started trying to talk without moving his half healed jaw much, “’ou ‘on’t ‘ave to ‘ome i’ ‘ou ‘on’t ‘ant to ‘ami. It’s ‘ust, ‘ou’re ‘y ‘riend, and I don’t ‘ant to ‘ose a ‘riend. I ‘ro’ise I ‘on’t ‘e an’ry. I ‘as ‘cared, a’ide ‘om ‘y ‘rudders, I ‘aven’ ‘ad any ‘riends ‘ince I ‘as a kid. I ‘ust… I don’t ‘anna ‘e ‘one’y do ‘ore…I ‘eally ‘orry i’ I ‘cared ‘ou. ‘Ou’re ‘y riend. I ‘ant ‘ou to ‘e ‘appy ‘ami. Do ‘atter ‘at ‘ou de’ide, I’ll ‘and ‘y it, ‘an ‘ou’ll al’ays ‘e ‘y ‘riend. Uh…” he set his hat back on his head, “Ha’ a ‘ood ’ight.”

                He bowed slightly and then turned and walked off back towards town.

                It was a very long few minutes before Nojiko noted, “And I don’t believe for a second your other friends would let him do anything crazy if you wanted to stay here. How did they react when he did that?”

                Nami settled a little into Nojiko’s arms, “…You think I should go with them?”

                “I think we should go,” Nojiko corrected gently, her mind already made up even before she spoke. Nami’s dream was out there, she couldn’t let her stay here and let that dream die. Nojiko knew with unknowable but absolute certainty, Nami wasn’t going to find a better set of friends to set out with, regardless of the quality of their ‘captain’. Her talents could’ve probably gotten her a government sponsorship, but Nojiko was far from the only person who’d lost all faith in the government over the last ten years of no help coming.

                Nami’s head snapped up, her eyes wide in surprise, “What?! But, but Noji…”

                Nojiko smiled with a gentle firmness, “Come on, let’s go talk to Genzo and start packing.”

 

Notes:

Be sure to leave a comment on whether or not Luffy should go to Loguetown and whether or not he should survive if he does!

I have full plans for all three scenarios but I can only write one, so don't worry about it derailing the story.

Chapter 15

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to Nami. It’s just, you’re my friend, and I don’t want to lose a friend. I promise I won’t be angry. I was scared, aside from my brothers, I haven’t had any friends since I was a kid. I just… I don’t wanna be lonely no more…I’m really sorry if I scared you. You’re my friend. I want you to be happy Nami. No matter what you decide, I’ll stand by it, and you’ll always be my friend.”

                Reiju stood still and silent behind the tree she’d concealed herself behind as Luffy walked away, Nami and Nojiko following a few moments later. None of the three had noticed her, something she was profoundly glad of as being spotted despite her years of training would’ve been a simply mortifying embarrassment. Her brow furrowed in thought and her tongue slipped out as she brought her hand to her lips, discretely licking the poison from her fingers. It seems he’s come back to his senses, she mused, Good. Even if he’d been threatening Nami, Sabo wouldn’t have taken his death well.

                It was a very subtle poison Reiju had produced, but never the less an incredibly dangerous one. It was simply put, a super clotting agent. One of the same ones she’d used to treat Zoro after his duel with Mihawk, it could also be injected with her ability and induce lethal complications. As strong as Luffy’s healing was, this particular poison would’ve killed him extremely quickly by turning that superhumanly robust vitality back on him in a way that she could’ve passed off as an unforeseen complication of my breaking his jaw and sending him flying.

                She took a deep breath and let it out as a frustrated sigh, Everything was going so well too. I barely managed to talk him down from his fury over Zoro and Sanji spurning his help. Judging by his reaction, he’ll probably never forgive Luffy. Not that I blame him, I’d have killed Luffy without a second thought if I’d been in his position.

                Honestly, I knew Luffy was dumb but I didn’t think he was THAT stupid. Of course, Bones probably wouldn’t have joined us anyway. Power like his and what the papers say his wife has too, on top of the reputation they’re undoubtedly already amassing following their raid on High Town, they’ll almost certainly have a full crew before they reach a place they could meet up with us again in the Grand Line. Given the choice, the average person willing to become a pirate would follow those two over Luffy in a heartbeat. Luffy would have to share or surrender the captaincy if a whole crew attempted to join like that unless he could win them over. Luffy may have the Color of the Supreme King, but is he any good as a captain?

                Reiju thought about it for what was probably actually quite a while, trying to recall any instance where she’d followed Luffy for any reason other than because it would lead her to Sanji, and then to save Nami who she’d honestly grown quite fond of. Why did Zoro join him? Reiju mused, before realizing, Zoro only joined because I told him it would lead him to Mihawk. What about Usopp? …Usopp would’ve joined anyone who’d take him, especially after we sent the Black Cat Pirates packing and saved his home town. Sanji only came because of me and Nami. Nami came for a chance to be rid of Arlong. Gin followed us because… why DID Gin come with us? Is it because of what I said to him about the Grand Line?

                Holy shit, she settled back against the tree she’d been propped in the shadow of, Nobody’s actually here because of Luffy. We’re all only here because of things BONES told us about! He could’ve scooped up the entire crew himself at any time he wanted! The only reason he didn’t is because of… “Me…” Reiju breathed quietly as it dawned on her, “The only reason he didn’t take everything from Luffy before Luffy ever even knew it was there be taken is because he cared more about getting me to trust him! But… but why would he…”

                The answer came from a treacherous little voice in the back of her mind. It was just a whisper of a suspicion, but it was enough. For the first time since her father had done his level best to surgically seal away her emotions, she sank to the ground with tears of shock and horror in her eyes as she remembered the most important part of her final assessment of me before we parted ways in Shellstown, “What the hell did I throw away?”

                Then she jumped at the sound of wood more or less exploding. To her shock, there in the moonlight was one slightly dazed Sanji shaking splinters out of his hair as the tree he’d apparently just run straight through collapsed behind him. He knelt down and offered her a concerned smile, “Reiju, are you okay?”

                Reiju wiped her eyes, a smile forming despite her confusion, “How…?”

                Sanji’s smile took on a hint of pride, “A true gentleman never turns a deaf ear to the tears of a lady. Besides, I’d be a pretty shit excuse for a brother if I didn’t come to check on my sister when she was crying. Do you want to talk about it?”

                Reiju took a deep breath, “If I hadn’t been here, and you hadn’t known Nami was in danger, would you have followed Luffy?”

                Sanji thought about it for a moment and then sat down to take a deep breath, “Having second thoughts? And no, definitely not. I’d have stayed at Baratie to repair whatever damage Don Krieg did and make sure the old geezer was alright. Luffy wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of there. What brought this on?”

                Reiju took a breath, nearly twenty years of instinct warring with the need to trust her baby brother with the truth. After a second she sighed, “I just realized, Bones could’ve taken our crew for himself very easily. I haven’t told you how I met Bones and Zoro yet have I?”

                Sanji bit back the surge of overprotectiveness, “No, I don’t think so.”

                Reiju smiled, “I woke up in a tiny rowboat off the coast of Shellstown with Bones passed out in the other end of the boat. I took his revolver and used it to interrogate him when he woke up. He had no idea where we were until I told him my name. Then he realized where we were and claimed to have spent a wish to save me from Father because he thought life had dealt me a shitty hand and I deserved better.” She let out a little snort of laughter, “I shot him point blank in the base of his spine when he said he knew where you were, it didn’t even leave a mark. That’s what he was comparing your kick to.”

                Sanji thought about what he’d seen the gun at Reiju’s hip do to Don Krieg at twenty paces and thought about what it would do point blank, “I’m no longer offended by my kick being compared to that.”

                Reiju snorted, “Good. It was a very high compliment. Anyway, when that didn’t work, I wrapped him in a headlock so I could poison him if he tried to fight back. He didn’t even try to get out of it and just told me where you were even though I hadn’t asked him yet. He apologized for whatever granted his wish being hamfisted about it and scaring me. Then, when I asked him why I was naked, I sleep in the nude whenever I can, don’t freak out, he immediately offered me his jacket and shirt to cover up with and refused to look until I told him I was dressed.”

                She shook her head slightly and glanced up at the moon, “When he saw me… Sanji, I’ve never had anyone look at me like that. The people of Germa look at me with the utmost respect and admiration but… he gave me the same look you gave those pictures of Viola and the mermaid princess. Like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. I still didn’t trust him, but no matter how many times I threatened to kill him, aside from pointing out that he’d fight back with everything he had if I tried, he was nothing but cordial, friendly and affectionately teasing. That last one admittedly drove me up the wall because I thought he was mocking me, but in retrospect he was just trying to be as jovial and comforting as he could. He cleared an entire busy street to give me a moment of privacy when I needed it and looked genuinely horrified by the thought of me hurting myself as a coping mechanism. I don’t, but he didn’t know that and does know how guilty I feel about all the deaths I’ve caused.”

                She took a deep breath, “When I asked him to write down his supposed future knowledge and leave so I could verify the truth without any chance of him interfering, he wrote all of this,” she pulled the papers I’d left her from their hiding place beneath her shirt, “visibly agonizing over making sure he didn’t forget a single thing, and then he left, with nothing but an offering of his sincere best wishes for my future even if he was wrong about everything.”

                Sanji took a drag of the cigarette he’d lit while he listened and then let it out, “Okay. So, he’s head over heels in love with you. Or, at the very least he was at that time,” he mused, “Given that he got hitched a few weeks later.” He tilted his head back and thought for a moment, “Shit, he’s just like me.”

                Reiju started slightly, “What?”

                “At least in his response to beautiful women,” Sanji clarified, “Think about it. He did all that for you, and then ran hard and fast enough to run on the surface of the sea for what sounds like nearly an entire day to keep Arlong from having even a ghost of a chance of getting at Nami. If everything’s the way you’ve said, then yeah, I’d say it’s pretty safe to say he loved you. Might still honestly, I’ve got enough love for all the ladies in the world. It wouldn’t surprise me if he does too. I’ve never had anyone reciprocate, but if I did…” he took a light drag of his cigarette, “I’d do anything in the world for her, but I’d still help out any beautiful woman in need.”

                “So, what do you think?” Reiju asked quietly.

                Sanji ground his cigarette between his teeth a little in thought, “I think I’m still missing something. You clearly didn’t miss how he felt about you, so it’s not some big revelation to you right now. You mentioned Mosshead at the start of all this, what’s he got to do with anything?”

                Reiju blinked and then realized she’d gotten sidetracked, “Oh, right. So, Bones and I arrived at Shellstown, a day before Luffy did. If I hadn’t been so paranoid and just trusted him, Bones and I could’ve sprung and recruited Zoro ourselves and then taken off and done everything we’ve done with Luffy. The crew, the ship, everything. Everything that’s gone smoothly, and aside from the fight with Buggy the Clown which Bones even specifically warned us about because he suspected how dangerous Buggy could actually be, everything has gone smoothly… because of the guidance Bones left me in these pages.”

                Sanji nodded as understanding dawned on him, “So you’re kicking yourself for chasing off the apparently oracular and highly competent captain that loved you and getting stuck with the moronic amateur.”

                “Luffy’s, not a bad person,” Reiju mused, “But… be honest Sanji, do you think he could’ve gotten us this far? Is he capable of leading a crew in the Grand Line?”

                “Is he even leading us now?” Sanji asked dryly, “If everything’s as you’ve said, then he’s not the one leading us. Bones is, through you.”

                To say the notion hit Reiju like a wagon of bricks would be an understatement. For her, everything made a sudden, shocking sense as all the pieces to the puzzle of my behavior fell into place.

                By giving her knowledge of the route they could take and what they’d find on it, I’d charted the Strawhats’ course through the East Blue by making it the surest route available. I’d picked the members and laid out the circumstances that would result in their recruitment. By making her paranoid about my influence, I’d given her reason to warn the others about the source of her information and in doing so ensured that they knew their constant and overwhelming success was due to my help. What better resume to lead them could I give than leading them to success without even having to be there?

                Then on top of all that was the rash of calls I’d made to them over the last two days to establish my honesty and genuine concern for them. After that, the insane undertaking of literally running across the East Blue to help them against Arlong, and upon arrival my display of power that was impressive even by the standards of the New World, with my friends Sabo and Koala there to ensure they knew how impressive it was. After that, my restraint in dealing with Luffy when I could’ve killed him on the spot, to prove that I wasn’t unreasonable and had better self-control than he did before openly stating my intention to take his crew.

                Lastly and possibly most diabolical of all, I’d openly declared that I’d no longer be providing information except by request. The path paving information I’d provided had just dried up, meaning that now any failures would be blamed on Luffy’s incompetence as a leader. Meanwhile, any advice I gave would be enjoying the benefit of my future knowledge, and as I’d left the line open to everyone but Luffy for requests, the crew could quickly come to see me as the same sort of unparalleled resource that Reiju had once she’d begun to believe me… and an amazingly good alternative to Luffy.

                "I've had extensive training in how to be a magnificent bastard."

                Reiju covered her mouth to keep in the little shriek of shock as my words echoed in her mind, and a moment later breathed, “Holy shit… This is what he meant…”

                “About… what?” Sanji asked curiously.

                Reiju took a steadying breath, “When Bones told me what he used to do for a living, I accused him of being a good liar to start with and having been trained extensively to be a manipulative bastard. He fired back that he’d had extensive training in how to be a magnificent bastard, like being called merely manipulative was underselling his abilities. I just realized what he meant,” she looked Sanji in the eyes and for the first time in nearly twenty years looked genuinely scared, “Sanji, I think he’s been planning to take our crew for himself this entire time.”

                Sanji raised an eyebrow, “Huh?”

                “…and the worst part is that I don’t even know if I’d mind!” Reiju exclaimed, “He’s made his case Sanji! Without ever even being here, he’s led us to nothing but success after success, and when he did show up, he effortlessly slaughtered one of the strongest forces in the East Blue as an olive branch to us before showing us the path to dodging the potential backlash from the government that we weren’t even aware we were in the line of fire for! What’s Luffy led us to? What’s he done? Luffy’s a powerful fighter, but he’s not better than Zoro or me or you! He’s certainly nowhere near as formidable as Bones, and that’s literally all he’s good for! Sanji, you’re right! Bones has been using me as his proxy to undermine Luffy’s chances of remaining captain this whole time, but he is better than Luffy for the position! And I…”

                She pulled up short for a second before asking with a faint tinge of desperation, “Sanji, am I a horrible friend for thinking all this?”

                Sanji took a deep breath as he considered his answer and then sighed, “Well, the unfortunate fact of the matter is that you’re not wrong about Luffy. I think you’re overestimating Bones though. Things are playing out in his favor if his goal really is to take our crew into his own, I’m not going to deny that, BUT,” he added sharply, “…I don’t think he intended that from the beginning though. Could you see his face when Luffy said he didn’t want him around?”

                Reiju thought for a moment and then shook her head, “No, I couldn’t.”

                “I did,” Sanji declared quietly, “He just looked confused when he landed, like he half expected to wake up flying through the air. When Luffy said that he didn’t want Bones around though? Bones looked utterly devastated. It was quick, but I could see it in his face. For just that first second before he spoke, he looked like how I felt when I heard those two girls I told you about laughing at me. If you want my opinion, I think he wanted to be Luffy’s friend, and Luffy rejecting him turned all that good will into fury and hate.

                “Did you notice he wasn’t angry at any of us except Luffy, even though I’d tried to knock his head off?” Sanji asked before pointing out, “Hell, you made a very credible bid to kill him yourself, and by your own admission threatened to repeatedly. Koala says she threatened to kill him when they first met. None of that’s made him angry. When Zoro and I actively tried to convince him to leave us alone though? That actually pissed him off enough to claim he was done with us until you talked him down.

                “Trying to kill him doesn’t upset him and I think words spoken in fear don’t either,” Sanji surmised, “But us saying we didn’t want him around? Especially Luffy, since Luffy had just declared him trustworthy and a good guy? That actually really hurt him.”

                Then he remembered something, “And! You remember when you were talking to Mihawk? He said Bones and World Tour both wanted to join Luffy’s crew in Loguetown! Now that I think about it, he sounded really upset when he said he was taking Zoro’s girlfriend to get surgery instead of joining us in Loguetown. Reiju, he wasn’t trying to convince us to join him…”

                “He was trying to join us…” Reiju finished quietly, “That’s what he’s wanted this whole time!” She threaded her hands into her hair and looked up at the stars, “How did I not see this? He told me how lonely he was in his old life! How he felt like he was just a hollow shell going through the motions! And he was so excited about meeting Luffy and Zoro at Shellstown! He was doing everything he could to get us to like him because he wanted to be our friend more than anything!”

                “…Do you think there’s any chance of him forgiving Luffy?” Sanji asked after a moment.

                Reiju thought a moment before sighing, “Probably not. Even as angry as he was when you and Zoro tried to chase him off, he was only ready to cut ties with us. He flat out declared war on Luffy. I don’t think he’ll be satisfied until he makes Luffy feel as crushed as he did. He knows Luffy, and I don’t believe for a second he needs any of us. I think he threatened to take us and Luffy’s dream because he believes that’ll hurt Luffy worse than any amount of beating he could give him. You, didn’t read the future he saw for the Baratie,” Reiju mused as she pulled out the pages in question and handed them over, “I’m inclined to agree with him. If Luffy can really shrug off all of that, then nothing Bones can do short of dismemberment is going to even slow him down.”

                Sanji read through the pages fairly quickly, his face going pale as he read the lengths Don Krieg would’ve gone to in order to win, as well as just how much punishment Luffy could actually take. When he finished, he handed the papers back, “If all that’s what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shot that guy, then I owe you a cake or... something. I, kind of feel bad having to ask, but what’s your favorite food?”

                Reiju blinked and then laughed lightly, “Apples. Armored Stonefish poison from the New World is an incredible delicacy that I’d say ties with apples, but its LD50 for humans other than me is less than a microgram, and it’s only found in the New World.”

                Sanji nodded as he started reviewing recipes in his head, “Apple tarts, apple pies, tarte tatin, apple cakes…”

                Reiju snorted with a smirk, “Little brother, if you keep talking sexy like that, I’m going to think you’re flirting with me.” She burst out laughing as Sanji gave her the blankest look of incomprehension she’d ever seen before blushing as red as the apples he was planning to cook. In that happy little moment, things didn’t look quite so bad.

…

…Meanwhile, Marineford…

…

                “JIIIHAHAHA!” Sengoku, Tsuru, Garp, Zephyr and everyone else who heard it jolted awake as they heard the Golden Lion laugh. When they saw the light shining in from outside they rushed to the balcony and found that someone was using a Vis-snail, projecting onto the walls of Marine HQ.

                Though they had been drinking in their sorrow, they were far from drunk, and all four of Marine HQ’s most respected veterans quickly moved to get a view of what was being projected. Tsuru nearly fell out of the air in surprise as she realized what she was seeing.

                “So, you’re de one who pooled an entiah fleet out of nowheah dis mohning and then saved theyah ahses when I tried to sink dem huh?” Shiki asked with a grin and a psychotic light in his eye as he hovered before the Vis-snail that was transmitting back to Marineford. With the moon and clouds behind him he struck an imposing figure in the light of the fires burning below and behind him, “Ahnd now you’ve wiped out all o’ my Hell Beasts ahnd my troops, evacuated all o’ mah slaves wit’ yoah powuh, set fiah to mah fohtress ahnd ship, ahnd come to poot an end to me once ahnd for all? Hahve I got all dat right little girl?”

                “I’d say that’s the gist of it,” Ain replied calmly, her Marine uniform coat flapping in the wind.

                “You’ve got guts Girly! I like yoah style!” Shiki laughed, “It takes some real bolls to stahnd up to me like dis, especially aftah seeing wot I did this mohning. Nohmally I’d offah you a spot in mah crew for de sheer bollsiness alone, ahnd I’d make you mah right hand foh all you’ve accomplished right ondah mah nose, boht I hope you undahstand…”

                Shiki’s entire demeanor changed in an instant as the islands floating behind him surged forward into the shape of flying lions, “THAT YOU’VE JOST RUINED A PLAHN TWENTY YEARS IN THE MAKING! I’M GOING TO FOHKING KILL YOU, YOU STINKING BRAAAAAAAAAT!!!”

                Nobody could see it because the camera was behind her, but Ain smirked, “Flash Modo.” And in a flash of pink light, Ain was gone.

                Shiki’s eyes bugged half out of his head in the split second before Ain’s Armament blackened foot slammed into the side of his head with enough force to send him careening through the air, right into another kick to the face that actually broke and bloodied Shiki’s nose. As Shiki careened through the air, Ain kicked off the air and conjured that pink light into her hands with a grin, “Eraser… MODO!!!”

                Credit to Shiki, he managed to yank an entire island between him and the river of pink time reversal pulses. He was hidden from the Vis-snail’s view for a moment and it was impossible to tell if Ain’s attack had succeeded or not. Then the entire floating archipelago of Merveille shook and nearly fell from the sky as Shiki bellowed in pain.

                Ain and all those watching her dared to allow themselves a moment of hope. Then the shuddering and descending islands steadied as Shiki’s laugh echoed out of the giant dust storm now forming in the center of the floating archipelago, “JIIIIIIIIIIHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

                “I owe you a debt o’ tanks Girly…” Shiki declared, the very archipelago itself seeming to speak with his voice. “Foh de first time in neahly t’irty years, I cahn tink cleahly. So, ahs a sincere tank you, I’ll give you dis singulah honah…”

                The island between the camera and Shiki was suddenly slashed apart by an attack that Ain only narrowly dodged out of the way of. An instant later, Shiki was right in front of her, swords in his hands, his feet regrown, and even his head free of the steering wheel that had been lodged there in his fight against Gol D. Roger at the Battle of Edd War. He slashed down at her and even though she blocked it with a hastily drawn bowie knife, the force of it still sent her flying back onto the floating island she’d left the Vis-snail on, “De singulah honah of being de last person evah to get to face Golden Lion Shiki IN HIS PRIIIIIME!”

                Ain flipped back to her feet and grinned as she sheathed her knife and her hands started glowing again, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. ERASER… MODO!”

                The pink light roared out, and then Shiki appeared in the blink of an eye right behind Ain, “Nice try.” BOOM!

                Ain went skipping and rolling away as Shiki’s kick slammed into her side, the ground falling away below her as Shiki disintegrated the floating island below her with a snap of his fingers. In an instant, the dust and debris that had seconds before been an island became a hail of massive spears that hurtled through the air like bullets after Ain’s falling form.

                “I figyuhed it out,” Shiki smirked, “Yoah powah allows you to rewind the things it hits in pulses, I’d guess a little ovah a decade per hit. If you cahn hit me with enough of them, you’ll erase me. Dat’s why you fiah dem in barrages, but that won’t help you against somet’ing as old as an island being t’rown aht you.”

                Then he nonchalantly ducked as Ain reappeared next to him, torquing out a kick laced with pink light at his head. Shiki’s sword lashed out and Ain sucked in a hiss of air to keep from screaming in pain as he scored a deep cut across her thigh and knocked her from the air, slamming her to the ground and pinning her there with one of his swords buried clean through her shoulder. She’d only just barely managed to jerk out of the way of the sword skewering her heart or lung. Then he had to shoot away in between blinks as Ain unleashed a wave of pink light in all directions.

He was back a second later after throwing a rock through the Eraser Wave to disperse it. With furious contempt he hammered a vicious stomp into her head, “Unfohtunately foh you, yoah powah moves much slowah than you yohself do, so you haf to get in close onless you want yoah attack to be dodged by an opponent wit’ greatah mobility.”

                Then Ain vanished from under his foot and reappeared behind him in another flash of pink light. Shiki spun, his blades lashing out and narrowly missing her as she disappeared and reappeared behind him again mid turn. Ain grinned and discharged one of the twin single-handed blunderbusses she carried into the back of his head with her good hand. The fist sized round shot knocked him reeling, but it didn’t kill him the way she’d hoped it would. Instead, the ground erupted beneath her in a sculpture of a hand flipping the bird, said bird catching her right in the ribs with enough force to crack them. Then the hand sculpture levitated and flicked her away like a bug.

                “Somet’ing else yoah powah allows you to do is move instantaneously frohm one location to anothah, ahnd bring t’ings ahnd people wit you. At fuhst I t’ought you might be simply dat fast, boat now I see dat’s how you moved dat fleet dis mohning,” Shiki mused as he waited for the next attack. He didn’t have to wait long as a torrent of pink light rocketed forward from the shadow of one of the floating islands. Shiki just smirked and with a flick of his finger raised a wall of earth between him and the pink light that would erase him. He only barely managed to hurl himself back out of the way with his Devil Fruit power as the earthen wall vanished when Ain’s attack hit it, the rest of the beam flying on through unimpeded.

                “So you cahn move t’ings yoah powah hits wit’out having to touch dem yoahself huh?” Shiki mused before realizing he had just flown into the center of an omnidirectional barrage of thousands of Ain’s Eraser Bolts that were all converging on him.

                He allowed himself a split second to be impressed, “Now dat’s impressive…boat not good enough!” he roared as he shot headlong into a section of the Eraser Bolts, letting his swords soak them up in a flurry of blows as he hurled two of the floating islands together behind him to soak up the rest in case she could control them after they were fired.

                What followed was several minutes of Shiki being out of the Vis-snail’s line of sight as streaks of pink light raced through the air trying to hit him. Swaths of earth and sea surged and writhed through the air to take the blows for him as he continued to race through the sky. Every time he thought he had a shot, Shiki lashed out with flying slashes from his swords that cleaved the floating islands they hit in half. The most amazing thing though was that the little Vis-snail was still broadcasting.

                “Come on Ain…” Tsuru whispered, searching the feed for any sign of her granddaughter, “Don’t you lose to that old blowhard!”

                Zephyr chuckled, “You haven’t seen it yet, have you?”

                Tsuru and Garp looked at him in surprise, but a second later Sengoku started chuckling too. “Well now that you point it out Zephyr, I do believe she’s got this in the bag.”

                Tsuru looked at Sengoku, “What?! Pointed what out?!”

                “Every time he blocks with his Float-float powers, she’s getting rid of more and more of his cover, and she’s corralling him into the center. The instant he runs out of cover, or Ain gets rid of enough of it to blast through everything that’s left, Ain wins,” Zephyr declared with a fiercely proud grin, “And Shiki hasn’t realized it yet.”

                Then, the entire world seemed to glow pink on the display and Ain’s voice was distantly audible for those with the sharpest of ears as she revealed her trump card, “TRUE ERASER MODO… STAR STORM!”

                Then the feed cut out as Merveille, and everything in its vicinity, was reduced to dust and debris and scattered to the breeze. This was the power of the final and strongest technique I had devised for her: True Eraser Modo, a hailstorm of narrow displacement bolts that would only displace what they touched… not what was attached to what they touched. In short? A disintegration cannon she could make big enough to decimate an entire island.

                The Vis-snail feed cut back on again a moment later, revealing that Ain had teleported the Vis-snail to her shoulder at the very last second. The snail opened its eyes just in time to show Ain snatching Shiki’s swords, the sheathes for them that Shiki hadn’t used in over thirty years, and his severed and startled looking head out of thin air. As the floating archipelago of Merveille collapsed back into the sea, sending sea water splashing hundreds of meters into the air, Ain teleported back to Marineford.

                She waved Shiki’s head with a tired, wan smile as Tsuru, Zephyr, Garp and Sengoku landed in front of her at the base of Marine HQ. Her eyes were trying hard to slide out of focus and it was clearly only sheer grit and determination keeping her upright as she stumbled forward, “Hi Grandma, I won…”

                She’d cut it far closer than anyone would’ve liked, and gotten herself terribly hurt, but as she collapsed into Tsuru’s arms and finally let herself pass out, Tsuru wasn’t sure she had ever been more proud of her. Then as Tsuru laid her down and her three best friends called for a medic, she went to check the wounds she knew she had seen Ain take, and found to her shock that they were gone.

                Not ‘healed’, gone. Almost as though…

                “Eraser Modo…” Tsuru muttered in wonder, before glancing up as Zephyr peered over her shoulder in concern. “She rewound herself and then popped back to completely heal her wounds, just like your arm!”

                Zephyr started slightly in surprise, “That’s new. I wonder who came up with that, and all those other new tricks she pulled out of her sleeve,” he added before musing, “It’s the sort of out of the box thinking the most versatile and dangerous devil fruit users exhibit… and no offense to her, but Ain’s never been that out of the box. Even her Location Return ability is something she discovered by complete accident thinking about that little hole in the wall barbeque joint she found on shore leave in Burger Kingdom.”

                Tsuru thought about snapping at him in defense of her granddaughter, then gave a little shrug as she admitted to herself that he was right.

                Ain was many things, but overly creative had never been one of them. She was by the book, through and through. Even with her ability allowing her to make a rendezvous at any location she’d ever visited, she’d only been able to take over handling the Marines’ circle of informants because she’d inherited Tsuru’s playbook, which had been long praised as one of the most comprehensive in the history of the organization.

                The only way to fluster Ain, which was never the less guaranteed to do so, was to find something she didn’t have a set mental protocol for. Being aware of her granddaughter’s nature, Tsuru had trained her very thoroughly and taught her very well, so such circumstances were incredibly rare. That had still done absolutely nothing to help when Ain had stumbled into one of Garp’s more extreme bouts of shenanigans one day. The poor girl had been confused and fretting herself nearly to tears within twenty minutes over what she’d seen.

                It was a rare enough occurrence that it wasn’t considered an issue, in large part because anybody who could put up with nonsense of Garp’s level without batting an eye was almost guaranteed a deployment to the New World. Half the reason Sengoku let Garp continue with his nonsense was as an impromptu litmus test for everyone’s sanity and capacity for improvisation. Ain had passed the sanity portion of the test at least.

                All that in mind, Tsuru started considering what could’ve prompted Ain to suddenly develop and implement what she counted in her head to be no less than half a dozen major new techniques with her Devil Fruit. She was incredibly pleased about it of course. Ain would almost certainly net at least one rank promotion for beating Shiki and saving as many as possible of the Task Force sent to deal with him along with all the civilians. On top of that, her new abilities made her a tactical asset on par with or possibly even surpassing the three admirals if used properly. It still bore thinking about though, what happened?

                No, Tsuru mused, putting a hand to her chin thoughtfully as she moved back to let the medics work, Ain wouldn’t have come up with all this on her own. So who did? Was it one of her subordinates? Or maybe one of her informants? She has a good enough repertoire with them to call and ask for… advice…

                Then it clicked. Who would Ain call for advice about an upcoming fight? The person she thought would have the best intel on the opponent, especially if that person had an axe to grind with said opponent… like the person who set up the fight in the first place. Tsuru’s hand dropped limply to her side and she went nearly as white as her hair. Zephyr noticed and looked at her in concern, “Tsuru? What’s wrong?”

                “We can NOT let him get his hands on a Paramecia…” Tsuru declared numbly, before casting her gaze to the heavens, “Please God, let him find a Logia or a Mythical Zoan type with simple SET powers instead that he’ll think is good enough and eat immediately!”

                Zephyr put two and two together and crossed his arms, already bracing for the worst, “Okay Tsuru, which of Ain’s informants told her how to do all that?”

                Tsuru met his gaze and Zephyr held back a minor flinch as she told him in a faintly haunted voice, “Whitebeard Jr.”

                Zephyr considered the prospect of me with the unpredictable, off the wall and just flat out insane abilities even a harmless sounding paramecia could grant and grimaced, “I see your point.”

…

…The Next Morning, Shore Near Shimotsuki Village…

…

                With Yama-chan going all night at the forge, I hadn’t had any real measure of time. My only cue for ‘go to bed now’ was Yama-chan being there.

                The rest of the crew had all gone to sleep in hammocks Jango had picked up in town and slung between trees, but I’d intended to work just a bit longer. Despite having been working at a manic pace all day, I was nothing like tired. I’d been keeping it down, but with all of them asleep and my focus on my work, I’d had no idea so much time was passing by.

                I was faintly aggravated with myself as I resigned myself to sleeping through most of the morning. I actually had been intending on getting some sleep, and sleep I was going to get. It really wasn’t an option. Even if I wasn’t physically exerting myself as hard as I had on the run to Cocoyashi and back, I’d still been thinking nonstop, and the last thing I needed was to get loopy from sleep deprivation.

                This ship was going to be our home, fortress and safe haven, in addition to being our primary means of transportation. I knew I’d improve it constantly as need and possibility arose, but considering the complexity of what I was building? The base structure had to be damn near perfect. I couldn’t guarantee that if I wasn’t at 100%, especially since I was really the only one working on it.

                Now the sun was coming up and a News Coo was sitting on the edge of the deck I was building.

                I blinked at the News Coo.

                The News Coo blinked at me.

                I rummaged in my pocket and found a 100 beri coin. After dropping the coin into the News Coo’s little pouch, I accepted the paper he pulled out with his beak, “Thank you.”

                I unfurled it and if I had been tired, I’d have been woken straight up by the headline:

HERO OF MERVILLE: COMMODORE AIN OF MARINE HQ DEFEATS GOLDEN LION SHIKI!

…

…Three Hours Later, Cocoyashi Village…

…

                “Wait, hold up,” Koala asked sharply over breakfast, “You’re going to the Grand Line with only six crewmembers?!”

                Those native to the East Blue (plus Sanji and minus Sabo and Gin) blinked in confusion. Reiju nearly choked on her omelet in surprise and Gin did choke on his tangerine juice.

                Luffy’s only response was a confused, “Yeah?” Despite having mostly healed from his broken jaw and having somehow regrown the teeth I’d knocked out of him, he was still eating only soft foods for another day or two.

                Sabo shook his head, “Nope, absolutely not. Even as small as the Merry is, you need more crewmates.”

                Luffy gave Sabo a look and then started counting, “But I’ve got a navigator, a doctor, a cook, a sniper and a Zoro.”

                Sabo took a deep breath, “Yes, and what will you do if one of them gets sick or injured?”

                “I’ll beat up anyone who hurts my crew!” Luffy declared sharply as he raised his fist and clapped his bicep, “…And my crew won’t get sick, they’re strong!”

                Reiju’s fork suddenly bent in half between her fingers with a squeak of protest as her eye twitched, “Luffy, strength does not determine health. Even the strongest people in the world can get sick.”

                “But I’ve never been sick,” Luffy protested.

                Reiju let out a very aggravated sigh and glanced at Sabo as she bent her fork back straight, “Has he?”

                “Not that I’ve ever seen,” Sabo noted, his face twisting slightly with concern as he started wondering how to explain to Luffy how serious getting sick could be since he knew Luffy wouldn’t understand if it wasn’t explained properly.

                “Is getting sick really that bad?” Luffy asked.

                Reiju thought for a second and then, “Luffy, do you remember how your jaw felt when Bones hit you?”

                Luffy gingerly prodded the still tender area of his jaw, “Yeah? Is being sick like that?”

                “Imagine that but all over your body,” Reiju instructed, “That is what being very sick can feel like. It can also make your nose run like you’ve eaten something really spicy to the point you have trouble breathing. It can make your head feel like Bones is inside it trying to punch his way out. It can make you cough and sneeze and your eyes all caked up with gunk to where you can’t see. It can make you feel like you’re on fire as your body tries to fight the sickness off. It can make you vomit until you starve or have to use the toilet until you shrivel up and die. Your skin can turn red and itch nonstop or break out in open sores like you’ve been scraped up. You could end up like Yosaku was when we found him, with your teeth falling out and all your old wounds opening up. Your internal organs can just straight up die. You could just straight up die! It’s usually at least a few of those all at once. Those are just some of the things that can happen when you’re sick, and it can happen to anyone.”

                To call Luffy’s expression ‘gob smacked and horrified’ would be putting it quite lightly.

                Reiju nodded, “And while I can probably get a member of our crew through any of that, it would take a few days. What happens if we’ve got two or three people too sick to help when a storm or fight arrives? If we only have seven people to begin with, then we’d only have half our crew to get through it. We’ve got a very high quality crew, you’re not wrong about that. Any one of us is probably as good as any five, maybe even ten other people in our respective strengths, but even if we’re each equal to a thousand, that does not mean we can afford to skimp out on recruitment.”

                “Stronger people than us die in the Grand Line daily, weaker ones die by the dozens,” Koala added somberly, “You can’t go in there assuming nobody on your crew is going to get hurt or sick Luffy. You need to have somebody to pick up the slack if someone’s hurt or sick, because no matter how strong you are, you can’t protect everyone from everything.”

                Luffy seemed to shrink in on himself a little at the thought and then it was like a light bulb clicking on as he made up his mind, “Right, so how do we get more crew members, and how many do we need?”

                Nojiko cleared her throat, “Um, you’ve got one more. I’m coming with you. Genzo’s going to look after the farm until we come home. Nami didn’t spend the last ten years collecting all that money just for us to split up now.”

                She and Nami missed the way Sanji’s head snapped around and the obvious excitement on his face because he was behind her, but nobody else did.

                “I don’t have any particularly amazing talents like Nami,” Nojiko clarified, “But I can learn, and you do need the extra hands.”

                Luffy looked at Sabo, Koala and Reiju in excitement, “We’ve got…! Um…” He glanced down at his fingers and tried to count before holding up eight fingers, “Eight! How many more do we need?”

                Sabo held up ten fingers with a very serious expression. He saw Luffy open his mouth to question it and cut him off, “A small crew is twenty people. Ten more will put you two people short of that, but tolerably close.”

                Luffy thought about it for a moment and then, “So where do we get ten more people?”

                Sabo opened his mouth to reply and then froze, a thought almost visibly crossing his mind before his face settled into a grin that even Luffy found sightly unnerving. The most telling reaction though was from Koala who immediately leaned away, “Oh my god, Sabo, no. Whatever you’re thinking, n-YOU PUT THAT SNAIL AWAY RIGHT NOW!”

                Sabo was out the door in the blink of an eye, running and dialing with Koala hot on his heels as he called, “GIMME A FEW MINUTES LUFFY, I’VE GOT AN IDEA!”

                “IT’S A BAD ONE!” Koala shouted.

                Silence reigned for a few minutes and then as Sanji passed out the fresh batch of biscuits he’d just pulled from the oven, then Gin spoke up, “I don’t think I should join your crew Luffy, I’m already a known and wanted pirate. Your best bet for recruiting other than whatever your brother’s cooking up is going to be Loguetown, and if you have a known pirate with you when you reach Loguetown, Captain Smoker will absolutely demolish you.”

                Reiju sat up in surprise, “Captain Smoker is in Loguetown?”

                Gin looked at her, surprised she didn’t know such a common bit of information, “Yeah? Loguetown is his domain, he’s the reason that nobody makes it to the Grand Line from the East Blue. Even the Krieg Armada only made it because we stayed far away from Loguetown. Every pirate worth their salt knows that if you’ve got a bounty or anything that marks you as a pirate, you stay the hell away from Loguetown.”

                Reiju nodded, “That makes sense. There’re probably very few people in the East Blue who could handle Smoker. Not many people in the first half of the Grand Line could handle Smoker.”

                “Is this Smoky guy really that tough?” Luffy asked curiously.

                “I’ve heard of him,” Zoro noted as the discussion jogged his memory, “Smoker the White Hunter. He’s supposed to be the strongest Marine in the East Blue.”

                “As well as the only Logia the Marines have below the rank of Vice Admiral,” Reiju clarified, “He was Germa’s escort to Reverie eight years ago.”

                Sanji flinched, “Oh shit…”

                Everyone except Reiju looked at Sanji in surprise, “What’s a Logia?” Nami asked in concern.

                “A Devil Fruit that turns you into an element,” Sanji clarified, “The way Luffy’s rubber? Smoker’s a natural element. Guessing smoke from the name?”

                Reiju nodded, “That’s right, and he carries a Seastone baton that can shut down other peoples’ Devil Fruits. Unless you have Armament Haki or Seastone, you’d be literally fighting an angry cloud that you can’t hit while he can casually beat you to a pulp. My brothers decided to test themselves against him because they’d never met a Logia before, and once my father gave him permission, Smoker trounced all three of them at once without breaking a sweat.”

                “What’s Haki? Are your brothers strong?” Luffy asked, a serious expression on his face despite the way his cheeks were bulged out from how much food was stuffed into his mouth.

                “It’s the technique Bones used to hit through your immunity to blunt forces,” Reiju clarified, “I’m aware of it, but I’ve never learned it myself. Sabo probably knows it. Your grandfather Garp definitely does. And for perspective, they’re all as strong as Sanji with extra abilities comparable to Devil Fruits.”

                “No, Grandpa uses Fist of Love, not whatever this Haki stuff is,” Luffy replied, “So this Smoky guy’s really strong huh?”

                Reiju paused just before taking a bite and gave Luffy a very dry look, clearly contemplating the difficulty of convincing Luffy that his Grandpa knew it, “Fine then, Garp uses Fist of Love. Sabo still probably has Haki, and yes, Captain Smoker is extremely formidable even by the standards of the first half of the Grand Line.”

                “Do you think he can teach me?” Luffy asked.

                “If we avoid fighting Captain Smoker though, then we won’t need it right?” Usopp pointed out.

                “And Smoker currently has no reason to come after us because we’re not officially pirates,” Nami mused, “So as long as we don’t call ourselves pirates or outright state we’re recruiting for a pirate crew, we can just poke around Loguetown with impunity.”

                “And no, Sabo will not be teaching you Armament Haki so you can go pick a fight with a guy known for wiping out pirate crews ten times as big as yours in seconds,” Koala added sharply as she dragged a dazed looking Sabo with a bloody nose back in by the collar, “And neither will I!”

                “What was his idea?” Zoro asked curiously.

                “A very bad one that could’ve gotten a lot more people hurt than helped if things went wrong,” Koala declared, “Don’t worry about it. See who you can find in Loguetown. If you have to wait a little longer to go to the Grand Line, it’s worth it to not have you all dead!”

.

…Meanwhile, Shores of Shimotsuki…

.

                “The fuck was that?” Ulti asked with a raised eyebrow in response to me jerking like I’d been jabbed in a soft spot with an icicle.

                “Just a twitch,” I replied calmly to ease the concern in my crewmates’ faces, “Don’t worry, they happen. Interesting to know that damn cat’s still around.”

                “Which cat?” Jango asked curiously.

                “The one that’s been running back and forth over my grave periodically for years,” I replied, “If I ever find the damn thing it’s gonna wish I hadn’t.”

                “What’s that got to do with you suddenly jumping like that?” Maria asked curiously, now having mastered the trick of being shrunk down to normal people size.

                “It’s an old superstition where I’m from,” I explained, “Like if you sneeze it means somebody’s talking about you, and if it hurts when you sneeze, they were talking shit about you.”

                “I’ve heard that one,” Page One noted.

                I nodded, “Well if you ever get a twitch like that, it means a cat ran over your grave. Or so the superstition goes.”

                “Must not be any cats on the island where I’ll die,” Ulti noted.

                “Same,” Maria, Page and Jango agreed.

                I shrugged, “It’s probably actually just some sort of crossed wire in my nervous system, but the superstition’s more fun. Ah, speaking of fun, anyone have any particular requests for the ship?”

                “Can I have a fishing perch?”

                “Dance floor?”

                “Tornado Potatoes?”

                “A king sized bed big enough for ten plus me?” We all did a small double take over that one and looked at Maria who blushed, “It’s not that big a request is it?”

                “Ten guys at once Mari, really?” Ulti asked dryly.

                Maria blinked in confusion and then realized how it had sounded, “WHAT?! NO! I mean, that would be insanely hot yes, but I just like cuddle piles and I toss and turn a lot in my sleep when I don’t have anyone to cuddle!”

                “I’ll cuddle with you Mari,” Page volunteered, “You know it won’t be a sex thing with me.”

                Ulti went ghostly pale and then before Maria could thank Page, she demanded, “WHO TAUGHT PAYPAY THE SEX WORD?!”

                “The sex word?” Jango asked in confusion and narrowly concealed amusement.

                Page sighed, “Ulti, we had a brothel on Onigashima! Mari ran it! I know what sex is! And if you must know it was Queen.”

                “I AM GONNA KILL THAT FAT POMPOUS PRICK!” Ulti roared indignantly.

                “Why?” Page asked in confusion and exasperation, “I had a great time with the girls he introduced me to.”

                Before Ulti could flip out any further, I interjected, “Honestly Mari, I thought you were just referencing that song.”

                That was sufficient to distract everybody from Ulti learning Page had a sex life, including Ulti. “I wasn’t aware there was a song with a line like that,” Mari admitted, “How’s it go?”

                I got up, went, got my guitar and came back, trying to remember the notes before whistling out the start of it and beginning to strum and sing,

“I’m through wiiith… standin’ in line to pubs I’ll never get in,

It’s like the bottom of the bilge and I’m never gonna win!

This life hasn’t turned out quite the way I want it to be…

 So tell me whatcha want.

I want a big sail that can hold the squalls,

And a big black ship, with some cannon balls!

We’ll send ‘em all to Davy Jones 20,000 leagues under the seeea!

So how ya gonna do it?

                All of us love a good party, and with me singing, dancing and generally cutting up, the others quickly joined in and we had quite a good time. Unsurprisingly, the pirate sea shanty version of ‘Rockstar’ became a favorite tune among our crew. I had to improvise the lyrics a bit, but thankfully I’d heard a sea shanty version of ‘Rockstar’ before and had something to go off of.

.

…That Night, A Certain Bar In A Certain Town…

.

                The bar was a small one, frequented in more recent years only by a small eclectic handful of people, mostly oddballs, but all who enjoyed the quiet... and the local Marine Captain who occasionally dropped by to talk to the owner/bartender. Tonight was the one night a week all the oddballs dropped by, and for once one of the normal folk had come too, and brought his son and young daughter along. In addition, the local Marine Captain had come too as a favor to an old friend.

                The man’s son was having his first drinks, in a quiet safe bar rather than a loud and rowdy one. This was at the request of his father who knew very well how dangerous his son could be if the drink were to take him wrong. This was also the reason the Marine Captain was there. The man, a veteran bounty hunter and former Marine Sniper, was an old friend of his. Daddy Masterson knew very well that no matter how fearsome a fighter his son Nathan might be, Captain Smoker would be able to handle him easily if he got out of control. His young daughter Carrol was there too as Masterson was a single parent and couldn’t just leave her at home alone.

                They’d thought to have a peaceful and quiet evening, but they’d run into an unexpected form of entertainment. One of the regular oddballs, part of the group that came by every Thursday evening, was well known among all who knew him for telling the tallest of tales. Upon realizing he had an eager listener in young Carrol Masterson, the slightly tipsy man had ordered a water and begun to tell what all his friends would later agree to be one of his tallest tales yet.

                Smoker normally wasn’t the sort for such frivolity, but as he calmly and quietly sipped his rum, he had to admit the scruffy dockhand did have a knack for telling tales.

                “And then, before their very eyes, the wishing star began to glow!” the scruffy man narrated, “The wizard couldn’t believe his eyes! After all his hard work, his wish would finally be granted! But then as the star grew brighter and brighter, he heard a noise. Crick! CRICKCRICKCLINKCRAAASH! The statues the wizard had made to keep him company exploded!”

                Carrol gasped, “Oh no!”

                “The wishing star made his statue friends explode?!” Nathan demanded in every bit as much shock as his little sister.

                “VOOOOBABOOOOOOM!” the story teller threw his hands to the air, “Before the pieces even hit the ground, great pillars of light erupted from them as the wishing star flashed! In a mighty whirl of magical lights and color, the wizard knew, his wish had been granted! But not the wish he sought! His friends were alive!”

                Smoker raised his eyebrow and cracked a small smile, he hadn’t been expecting that.

                “When the lights and whirling colors faded, the wizard looked around, and though his friends had vanished, scattered to the four winds… he knew what he had to do: ‘I must go find my friends!’ And so he set off, to find the friends he’d wished to life on the adventures awaiting on the way to the land of Dawn! The… Beginning!” the story teller finished with a smile.

                Later that night, after Captain Smoker and the Masterson family had left, the story teller had resumed drinking himself to his happy place. “Ya know Boin, *hic* I wonder how my little sister’s doing?”

                “Oh she’s probably alright,” the flower and smoke shop owner Boin replied with a smile, “Why don’t you go see her some time? You’ve got a lot of time off saved up don’t you Pochi?”

                “You’re right…” Pochino mused, “I really should go see her some time… I wonder how my nephew’s doing…Oh hey, how’s your new helper doing at your shop?”

                “She’s as sweet and helpful as can be!” Boin replied, “Can’t talk about Smoker around her though, she tries to hide it, but I think she’s still super upset about it. Anytime he comes in for a new pack of cigars, she goes and hides in the back, won’t meet his gaze or speak to him…not that he tries to talk to her. He just acts like she isn’t even there!”

                “Well can ya blame her? Those two were inseparable!” their friend Minatomo pointed out.

                “I just wish I knew what happened,” Boin mused with a frown, “I mean, really, what could’ve made them have a falling out that bad? Smoker knew what she was like and never cared! What the heck happened?”

                “I’m sure she’ll be willing to talk about it eventually,” Pochino smiled, “In the meantime, just be there for her. That’s what young folks like her really need is just someone to be there for them.”

                “Hmm…I guess you’re right,” Boin agreed, although anyone could tell that the matter wasn’t settled well. Then shaking his head he raised his glass, “One last toast for the night! To the youngin’s!”

                “To the youngin’s and the adventures they’ll have!” Pochi agreed.

                “To the youngin’s!” Minatomo agreed.

                The three men clanked their glasses together, drained them and headed off into the night.

Chapter 16

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

…The Next Morning…

.

                “WHAT DO YOU MEAN A VACATION?!” Judge Vinsmoke roared into the snail mic.

                Sengoku raised an eyebrow at him, “She said she’s taking a vacation. She also appears to have taken up bounty hunting, had just bagged a whole crew of bounties when I talked to her. I would guess it was to fund her vacation, but judging by how she was talking about it, she may just be having fun.”

                “F-FUN?!” Judge roared, “SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE LEADING GERMA’S ARMIES! HOW DARE SHE JUST ABANDON HER POST TO GO ON VACATION?!”

                Sengoku raised an eyebrow, “That’s a discussion for your family to have among yourselves. You asked to know when we found information about her whereabouts. She asked for that message to be passed along. Do with it what you will. I have pressing matters I must attend to. Good day to you, sir.” Then he hung up before Judge could say anything else, not having bothered to even attempt to disguise the tone of his voice for the ‘go to hell’ it really was.

                Ain looked at the Transponder Snail with a raised eyebrow, but kept her opinion to herself. Don’t know Princess Vinsmoke, but if that’s what’s waiting for her at home, no wonder she left.

                Sengoku sighed, and then glanced up at Ain, “Thank you for coming Vice Admiral, I scheduled this meeting to coincide with his daily call so I could cut him off like that.”

                “Vi-…?!” Ain started and then cut herself off as her jaw dropped in understanding, “Thank you sir!”

                Sengoku nodded, “The ceremony will be tomorrow morning. Zephyr has nothing but glowing praise for your skills, and with your recent advancements in your usage of your Devil Fruit and your salvaging of the Shiki operation, I’d be remiss in my duties to not see your efforts rewarded. You’ll still be assigned to Zephyr’s task force, now as his official second in command, unless you’d prefer a command of your own. Although if Zephyr decides to fully retire, the command of the Task Force will fall to you directly now should you stay with it.”

                “I think I’d be happy staying with Sensei thank you sir,” Ain admitted with a smile, “The Task Force is where I fit best I think. I know my men and they know me.”

                Sengoku nodded, “Very well. Zephyr and Tsuru both figured you would feel that way, but they wanted to be sure you had the option.”

                Ain nodded, “Thank you sir.”

                Sengoku nodded and then picked up what Ain knew at a glance were bounty posters and before offering them to her took a breath, “Now, on to less happy news and your next assignment. We’ve received word that three of the Beast Pirates’ Flying Six have mutinied against Kaido and gone missing. It is…unlikely that they have survived as our reports indicate that Kaido fought them personally in an extremely drunken rage.”

                Ain sucked in a sharp breath, “Was it…”

                “Your contacts, ‘Cannonball’ Ulti and ‘Sail Back’ Page One, were two of the three, yes,” Sengoku confirmed grimly, “Along with ‘Spider Queen’ Black Maria. We need more information. I know yours is not the only Devil Fruit that enables the Blue Circle’s meet ups, can you see if perhaps these three survived and escaped by means of one of those?”

                Ain nodded, apprehension bubbling in her chest, “Of course sir. Am I being tasked with their capture or elimination?”

                Sengoku thought about it for a moment, “Would their capture by your hand jeopardize the Navy’s access to the Blue Circle?”

                “Massively,” Ain confirmed not bothering to hide her relief, “I’d be dead within a month and they’d never allow any member of the Navy admittance again.”

                Sengoku nodded, “Not worth it. Learn if they have survived and whether or not they intend to continue their careers in piracy.”

                Ain nodded, “Of course sir. Is there anything else?”

                Sengoku thought for a moment and then shook his head, “No.” Then a small smile broke out over his face as he added, “Good job out there Ain, we’re all so proud of you.”

                Ain smiled brightly, “Thank you sir!” She managed to get the door closed before she quite literally jumped for joy.

.

…Meanwhile…

.

                “…I’m sorry Katakuri, I must’ve misheard you,” Big Mom declared after shaking her head slightly. She brushed her hair back off her ear and leaned down to get it a little bit closer to Katakuri and Brulee, “Would you run that one by me again?”

                “Ulti, Page One and Black Maria did not mutiny,” Katakuri repeated, calm, steady and sure of himself as ever, “Kaido raped Black Maria and beat all three of them within an inch of death for trying to stop him.”

                Big Mom was silent for a moment before nodding and sitting back up, “That’s what I thought you said.” She looked down at them imperiously, “You’re certain? How do you know?”

                “We evacuated them ourselves,” Katakuri explained, heedless of the way Brulee went stiff as a board next to him. She hadn’t intended to tell Mama that. Undaunted, Katakuri continued, “They have been constantly valuable informants of the highest order. Throwing them away would have reflected extremely poorly on us, and I know you do not condone what Kaido did to them.”

                “DAMN RIGHT I DON’T,” Big Mom agreed, her tone level and her expression merely twisted in distaste despite the Conqueror’s Haki radiating out of her showing her fury, “Even in the immoral world of piracy, there. Are. STANDARDS! Spread the word to the entire family, we brook NO alliance with the Beast Pirates and any ship flying their colors is now SINK ON SIGHT. If Kaido’s fallen so far he’ll do that to his own children, adopted or not, then there’s no working with him or any of his ilk anymore! WE! DO! NOT! HURT! FAMILY! LIKE THAT!” She roared as she hammered her fist on the arm of her specially reinforced throne with such force it broke, “I wanted to work with him again because he was like a little brother to me, but he’s known as long as he’s known me that that’s crossing a line!”

                She erupted to her feet, “Make sure Newgate knows that I do not condone that brat’s actions. I know for damn sure he doesn’t!” She stormed towards the door, “Call Cracker! Tell him I need a thousand of his strongest biscuits shaped and colored like Kaido on the double! IT’S TIME FOR TARGET PRACTICE!”

                “YES MAMA!” those of her children and underlings present chorused.

                “DISMISSED!” Big Mom snapped as she stormed out.

                As her assembled children and underlings began to disperse, a beautiful young girl with long chestnut curls hurried to catch up to Brulee and Katakuri, “Big Sis Brulee!”

                Brulee and Katakuri turned, a bright smile immediately splitting Brulee’s nervous expression, “Pudding! It’s good to see you, how’ve you been Sweety?”

                Pudding hugged Brulee and after a moment’s hesitation, extended her arms to Katakuri for a hug as well with her most winning smile. Katakuri, though he was quite surprised (very few of his siblings dared to request a hug), immediately scooped Pudding up into a tight but gentle hug with a smile behind his scarf. Pudding was so surprised she completely forgot her question and almost forgot to hug back for a moment and required a small prompting from Brulee after Katakuri set her down to remember.

                “So, I know what Mama just said, and I totally get it, that’s horrible,” she began before adding quietly, “But…” she glanced around nervously before whispering, “…doesn’t Mama do that with her husbands, like, all the time?”

                Brulee twitched and Katakuri’s eyebrow rose slightly. Katakuri crouched down so he could be at least a little closer to eye level with Pudding as he explained, “It’s not so much what Kaido did that has Mama angry. It’s who he did it to. Mama knows Kaido raised those three like his own children. We thought for a long time that Black Maria was his daughter because we knew he had a daughter about that age until Ulti started griping about her flirting with him, but either way, the point stands. Those three were his family, and you know how Mama feels about family.”

                Pudding nodded, “Family comes first and protect each other.”

                Katakuri nodded, “Just so, and that’s why she’s furious. Kaido knows very well how unforgivable that sort of betrayal is, and how poorly Mama thinks of those who’d turn on or abandon their family.”

                “That’s why she wanted to make sure Whitebeard knows she doesn’t approve, right?” Pudding asked thoughtfully, “Whitebeard’s the same way about family as Mama right?”

                “That’s right,” Myukuru agreed as she walked over, “The Whitebeards are just as fiercely protective of their family as we are of ours. Whitebeard’s probably kicking up a tsunami right now if he’s heard about it. Any Beast Pirates that venture out of Wano are about to have a super bad time of it if any of us or the Whitebeards find them. Mama and Kaido were super close when they were younger, so she wants to make sure Whitebeard doesn’t think she condones what Kaido did because then we’d be in his sights too. He probably knows, but this isn’t the sort of thing that we can afford to not condemn given how strongly Whitebeard is going to react. The old man’s all about honor, and it doesn’t get less honorable than hurting family. It’s his crew’s number one rule too,” Then she looked over to Brulee and Katakuri, “Are Ulti and Page okay?”

                Pudding did a small double take at hearing Myukuru refer to the two now former Beast Pirates with such familiarity. “They’re fine,” Brulee confirmed, “We took them to-oh shit!”

                She was cut off as Big Mom suddenly erupted back into the room, “WAIT A MINUTE! BRULEE! KATAKURI! DID KAIDO RAPE LITTLE YAMATO TOO?!”

                “We do not believe so Mama. She was as shocked and horrified as we are when she saw them and immediately declared her intent to kill Kaido over it,” Katakuri replied, heedless of the way Brulee, Myukuru and Pudding froze in horror at the thought, “He did imprison, starve, isolate and try to kill her repeatedly for nearly twenty years though. That’s why she’s only just recently received her first bounty.”

                Silence reigned for a long moment and then the eruption of Conqueror’s Haki from Big Mom completely and unceremoniously losing her shit knocked out people a mile away.

.

…Meanwhile, Marineford…

.

                The little office assigned to Ain inside Marineford itself while her ship was repaired was a rarely used one. The chair wasn’t particularly comfortable, the room had clearly not been cracked open recently, and while the maintenance staff had clearly given it a quick cleaning, there was no doubt in Ain’s mind that nobody’d used this office in years. It was little larger than the average storage closet with file cabinets down two of the four walls and barely enough room for the desk and chair, but it still served well enough.

                Ain sat back in the chair in her office thinking, “Ok, they supposedly disappeared, apparently without a trace. That means… Brulee.” She sat up and pulled the little tray Mr. Sleepy, Sly Guy and Agent Blank sat on over. She quickly dialed Brulee’s number on Mr. Sleepy’s key pad and after five minutes of ringing, decided Brulee must be busy.

                She hung up and drummed her fingers, trying to think who else might know what had become of her friends informants. “They were injured,” she realized before quickly calling Marco.

                “Yoi?” Marco asked as he picked up.

                “Marco, it’s Ain. I just heard about Ulti and Page One, do you have any information on them? Are they okay? I tried Brulee and she didn’t pick up.” Ain asked, trying not to let her concern bleed too much into her voice.

                “Yeah, they’re fine,” Marco replied, “We left them with Bones and Yamato. That was the furthest we could get them from Kaido. Heaven help anyone that tries to capture them though,” he added, the slight glance the Mr. Sleepy relayed indicated the small reminder and warning for what it was.

                “Oh no, nothing like that,” Ain clarified, her nerves tingling slightly as her suspicions about the consequences of breaking the Blue Circle’s trust were completely confirmed in that glance, “We just wanted to know what happened and if they were okay. Three of an Emperor Crew’s top 10 suddenly mutinying is a pretty rare thing you know?”

                Marco snorted, “Is that what the Beast Pirates are claiming? No. Judging by the wounds I healed on Black Maria, Kaido had been utterly brutal in bed with her. My guess, and Brulee and Katakuri agree, is that Ulti and Page tried to keep him from getting at Maria again and he beat all three of them nearly to death before taking what he wanted anyway. If Brulee hadn’t evacuated them, they’d all three have been dead by now. As you can imagine, Pops is furious.”

                “Do we need to be preparing for a war between Emperors?” Ain asked nervously.

                “If Kaido’s stupid enough to step foot outside of Wano, he won’t be making that mistake twice if Pops has anything to say about it,” Marco declared grimly, “Katakuri agrees with me, Big Mom won’t take this one bit better than Pops is. Say what you will about the old hag, she has her standards, and hurting family is one of her taboos as much as it is for Pops. I think she’s got a few more holes in that standard than Pops does, patchy mental state and all, but I know it’s one she’s had for decades, and what Kaido did to those three was about as blatant a middle finger to that standard as possible. She’s gonna really lose it if she finds out the details of how he was treating Yamato. She values blood family more than anything.”

                Ain nodded, “I see. Thank you for the update Marco, I’m going to call and check on Ulti and Page now.”

                “Congrats on beating Shiki by the way,” Marco added, “Pops was impressed.”

                Ain took a second to process that and then blushed utterly crimson, “O-oh, really?”

                Marco grinned, “Shiki wasn’t as strong as Pops, but he was still no slouch! If every gull in Marineford isn’t singing your praises for pulling that off, you need a new line of work.”

                Ain couldn’t stop the flattered smile, “Oh, it’s um, no, they…I’m being promoted to Vice Admiral tomorrow.”

                Marco blinked in surprise and then burst out laughing with pride, “THATCH OWES ME A CAKE!”

                Ain’s blush faded in her confusion, “Huh?”

                “Thatch thought they wouldn’t reward you enough, if at all,” Marco explained, “He even bet me a cake over it. So, I’m gonna go tell him to get baking! See ya next month!” Ka-lick!

                Ain took a moment to bask in the fact that, pirate or not, the Strongest Man in the World was impressed with her. Then she shook her head, put her ‘dealing with dangerous informants’ face back on and dialed me. Said face was actually a friendly and polite, if discretely guarded, smile. It could turn seductive when she wanted answers, and it was the best sort of hair raising when it did.

.

…Meanwhile…

.

                I ducked under Page’s massive scaly arm as it passed close enough for me to feel the wind ruffle my hair. He was in his hybrid form, and that was actually probably hindering him more than the enhanced physical prowess was helping, because it made his already sloppy technique even easier to read. I shot my hand out to drive a straight fingered jab into his solar plexus, and he actually managed to skip back out of the way. Good, about time he WHOA CRAP!

                He skipped back and brought that massive tail around. I’d thought about telling him to use his legs more, but that tail was enough of an extra option to make up for it. Rather than try to dodge, I just braced, TEKKAI! Despite my blocking it, the force behind Page’s spin and sheer momentum of that massive tail coming around was still enough to send me skidding back six feet through the sand and give Page time and room to finish the spin with a haymaker.

                He definitely had a reach advantage being twelve feet tall in his hybrid form, but that just gave me the fraction of a second I needed to twist, catch his haymaker and shoulder flip him. Props to him, he planted his tail like a kangaroo and flipped himself back to his feet, yanking his arm up and over so that I had to either let go or be flung down the beach. I opted to hang on and let him fling me, somersaulting midair and bouncing back at him with Geppo to torque a kick out at his face. He blocked cleanly but with a new variant of Geppo that I was calling Bakuken, I struck the air and shot down towards the ground, landing on one hand and spinning to sweep his legs before he could react.

                By the time I had spun back into a crouch he had shifted into his full Spinosaurus form and that massive maw loaded with multiple-inch long fangs was rocketing towards me. I sprang sideways, landing on one foot and kicking back off, hurling myself back towards the space now occupied by his ribs. In the instant it took my fist to travel that distance, Page moved far enough that I got him in the hip rather than the ribs. It almost knocked him over, but an instant later he was back up and lunging at me again, only to find me airborne.

                A Bakuken fueled dropkick would probably have smarted, but Page managed to shift back to his man-beast form and thus snatch his head out of the way. Instead of planting both boots right on his head, I had to use Kami-e to slide out of the way of a massive jab in a manner that probably would’ve been meme worthy if there’d been anyone recording, or internet in the One Piece world. Kami-e feels weird, like the slightest breath of wind could send you flying, but that’s part of what makes it so good for evasion. Swapping straight to Tekkai from it is a kinda horrible wrenching feeling, but it let me connect a harder than steel counterjab to Page’s gut that sent him flying backwards.

                Honestly kinda surprised I didn’t dislocate or pull anything doing that, I made a note not to do it too often. I released Tekkai and took the second that jab had bought me to roll my shoulder, Can NOT do that in a serious fight. Man that hurt… I extended the arm and reversed the rotation of my shoulder roll and swept Page’s arm aside before driving a right hook into his now exposed ribs. I had to immediately block the tail and oh now he uses a kick?! Nice spinning hook kick. I ducked and the kick went over my head, but it still left me in perfect position for the uppercut that he almost landed immediately after it. I swayed back and the roundhouse that came after it nearly got me in the head. I ducked under and sprang up as it went over my head, hurling his leg up to send him flying off balance.

                I had to immediately give him credit, none of my old sparring partners had ever recovered that quickly or that well. Hell, none of them ever failed to be thrown to the ground when I did that. Page did land on all fours, but he transformed into his full Spinosaurus form immediately and I had to go skipping back again to avoid being used as a jawbreaker.

                All credit to him, I could hardly have chosen a finer sparring partner. Quick, versatile, incredibly fierce and able to tank hits that would crumple any normal person like a tin can, it wasn’t hard at all to see how Page wound up with a nearly 300,000,000 beri bounty. Even as his feral snap at me missed and his fangs snapped shut on thin air, he was already transforming back and torquing out a back kick, followed by a spinning back fist, a right hook, a spinning roundhouse kick, tail! Hook kick! Backfist! Roundhouse! GOTCHA!

                This time my punch landed right where I wanted it to: right under the chin. Page’s jaw snapped up as his head rocked back and he staggered, and my follow up left jab sent him toppling to the sand. A moment later, as he shifted back to Spinosaurus form to try and force me away with his spines, I did something very few people could say they had. I put a Spinosaurus in a headlock and almost a full minute of thrashing in the sand as he tried to throw me off later, made him tap out!

                I let Page go once he shifted back to his human form and I offered him a hand to pull him back upright. He’d been confused as hell and slightly offended the first time I did it until I explained it was a mark of respect for a fight well fought, not pity. He’d looked rather stunned and then a bit sheepish as he accepted the hand, but neither he, Mari or Ulti ever protested an offered hand again.

                As I tugged Page back to his feet, I heard Mari telling somebody, “It’s currently 5-0 in the Captain’s favor, but they’re just playing around, so it’s hard to say who’d actually win.”

                “Bullshit,” Ulti replied, “Page can barely touch the Captain!”

                “Oh come on!” Page protested.

                “Now, now,” I agreed, “He put up an extremely good fight. I spent most of the fight dodging, and his recovery time is still top notch. If I didn’t have an edge in mobility, we’d be evenly matched. Who’s on the snail?”

                Jango was still looking at Mari in horror, “That’s ‘just playing around’?”

                “I have to get so much stronger…” Kuina muttered from her seat next to Jango.

                “Ironically that’s the same thing I thought when I saw your father’s little ‘test’ to see if you were strong enough to leave,” I replied before glancing back to Mari, “Snail?”

                “It’s Ain calling to check on us,” Ulti explained, “Mari’s teasing her a lot so she’s kind of a flustered mess right now.”

                I raised an eyebrow at Mari who blushed slightly at being called out like that, “Quite understandable, Ain is exceptionally beautiful. I imagine she’d look unbearably cute as a blushing flustered mess. How is our favorite… surely you’ve netted a promotion for your apparently quite magnificent victory over Shiki?” I added to the snail mic with a smile.

                “It’ll be Vice Admiral tomorrow morning,” Ain declared with a smile, her blush still fading but not gone, “It was hard, but I pulled it off. Your advice on my Devil Fruit really helped out. I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without those new techniques, so thank you. Is everyone okay over there? I suppose you must be okay Page, to be sparring with Bones.”

                “We’re still a little sore,” Page explained, “I know I am, but how much of that’s Kaido and how much is the sparring I’m not sure. For the most part I think we’re good as new.”

                “Glad to hear it,” Ain replied, “Sooo… since you three are there with Bones and Yamato, and I’d about bet money that those two are recruiting, is it safe to assume you three are joining their crew?”

                “But of course,” Maria grinned, “The captains have both vowed to avenge our mistreatment at Kaido’s hands, why wouldn’t we join them to help make sure that brute pays for what he did to us?”

                “In simpler terms we’re gonna help Yamato and Bones kick Kaido’s scaly ass,” Ulti chimed in.

                “I figured, but didn’t want to assume,” Ain smiled, “I’ll let the Bounty Office know of your new affiliation. Oh, and a piece of news that I don’t know if any of you have heard that I just got from Marco: Whitebeard’s furious over what Kaido did to you three, and Marco expects Big Mom is too. We’re not quite expecting an all out war between three of the Four Emperors, but Marco straight out said that if Kaido sets foot out of Wano, Whitebeard will be doing his best to ensure it’s not a mistake he gets to make twice. Marco expects Big Mom to be having a similar if not worse reaction, although I haven’t been able to get in contact with Brulee yet.”

                Ulti opened her mouth to make some sassy quip and then closed it back thoughtfully as Page nodded, “Makes sense. Those two actually do care about their crews, to some extent anyway...” he added, no doubt considering Big Mom’s vicious reputation. Then he blinked at me, “What are you doing?”

                I paused my victorious but silent fist pumping from where I’d done a rock star slide to give them a deadpan look, “Celebrating.”

                Everyone looked at me in confusion and then it was almost visible as it clicked in Ulti’s head, “Wait, you can see the future can’t you?! What was going to happen?!”

                “Just the one, but worst case scenario for our plans: AVERTED!” I cheered, “No Big Mom-Kaido team up!”

                Everyone except Jango and Kuina went ghost pale as they registered what I’d said. “Was… that going to happen?” Ain asked cautiously.

                “You’re weeeelcooome!” I sang smugly before belting out a maximum hammy laugh.

                “Um, okay! I’m just gonna go let the Bounty Office know and um, get ready for my promotion ceremony! Yeah, that’s… that’s the thing to do!” Ain declared with a quietly freaked out smile, “Happy sails everybody!”

                “The happiest!” I cheered. Ka-Lick! She hung up.

                A second later I had a very short fused Ulti on top of me with claws ready to give her very best try at ripping my throat out, “Okay, spill. What the fuck did you do?”

                I took a deep breath to bring myself down and gave Ulti a calm look, “So. What was the catalyst for all this? Yamato disappearing right? I know that was my wish and hers coming true. Everything since then has been ripples from that one disturbance.”

                “I got that part,” Ulti hissed before slamming her transformed hand into the sand next to my head with enough force that the ground jumped slightly and leaned in very close, “Did you know what Kaido was going to do to us?!”

                I gently and slowly lifted my hands to cup her face as I met her glare head on, “If you never believe anything else I say Ulti, believe this: I would never have allowed that to happen if I’d had the faintest idea it would.”

                Ulti held my gaze for a moment more before her expression softened, “You really haven’t got a dishonest bone in your body have you?”

                “I have exactly one,” I replied with a small smirk, “It’s the ‘do not fuck with my friends’ bone. I get rather incredibly vicious when people trigger that one. You may get to see it in action if the Navy makes the mistake of trying to fuck with us.”

                Ulti gave a satisfied little snort, and was starting to smile, but before she could Maria stage whispered to the others, “Part of me wants to tell them to kiss, but maybe I shouldn’t.”

                Page, I swear I could hear the shrug in his voice, “Part of me wants to protest, but honestly Sis could do a lot worse.”

                “Not unless Yamato agrees to it!” Ulti snapped as she sat up, “I’ve been a shitty little sister to her for nearly twenty years and I’m done with that! Besides, it’s not like Captain’s got a boner right now ya know?” She shifted her weight on my lap to confirm, “Yeah, not even half mast.” She glanced at me, “Should I be offended by that?”

                I shrugged, “Like you said, not until Yama-chan agrees to it. You wanna spar instead? I’d love to test my speed and reflexes against your Ulti-Mortar.”

                Ulti lit up like her birthday had come early.

…

…Lunchtime, Cocoyashi…

…

                Despite how superb of a job Sanji had done on the meal, silence reigned in the little house in the tangerine orchard aside from the sounds of eating. It had been this way for a few days now. Except for the previous day’s discussion about the need for recruitment, only the most trivial of small talk had dared to make itself heard in the beginning, and the oppressive uneasy silence had only grown. The Strawhats had been going about town stocking up on materials and supplies as they could, and anyone who hadn’t been privy to these gatherings wouldn’t know anything was strange.

                Strange it was though, and strange it had been since their encounter with that mysterious fellow called ‘Bones’ had shaken their belief in their bouncy and oblivious captain. Perhaps the air could’ve been cleared sooner, but it had not been, and in the insidious silence surrounding the issue every time they were together, the Strawhats were steadily, quietly drifting apart.

                Zoro set down his juice loudly, immediately drawing the attention of everyone at the table, “Alright, I think it’s high time we address the elephant in the room.”

                Luffy blinked and then sat forward excitedly, “Elephant?!”

                Everyone blinked at him and then in unison sighed in resignation. “Luffy he means that there’s something really important that nobody’s really talked about yet,” Usopp explained.

                Luffy blinked in surprise, “Oh. I kind of want an elephant now.” He sat up a little straighter, “Ok Zoro, what’s up?”

                Zoro sat forward, “I think I’m speaking for everyone when I ask this: what were you thinking when you tried to throw the strongest guy we’ve met aside from Mihawk and Buggy clear over the horizon?”

                For a long moment, silence held such absolute dominion that a pin dropping would’ve sounded like thunder. Even the wind seemed to pause in curiosity. Luffy glanced around, noting how everyone was looking at him. Then he crossed his arms, and sat back with a sigh, “Yeah, I guess that has turned out to be kind of important.” He glanced around again and then took a deep breath, “I’ll tell you on one condition.”

                “Go on,” Zoro prompted, now more than a little spooked and far from the only one.

                “Nobody is allowed to get angry at Nami over this,” Luffy declared firmly as he sat forward with a more serious expression than even Sabo could remember having ever seen on him, “This was my screw up, not hers.”

                Sabo and Koala swapped a glance as Usopp asked, “Why would we be upset with Nami?”

                “Well, you won’t be, because you’re going to promise not to before I tell you,” Luffy explained.

                Reiju exhaled, “Alright Luffy, we promise, nobody will be angry with Nami. Anyone not agree with that?”

                A quick chorus of negatives and Luffy took a deep breath, “So, when I met Nami… Reiju, Zoro, you remember when that bird carried me off? Well, that’s when I met Nami, and she wanted my help to rob Buggy. She tied me up and pretended to join Buggy’s crew.”

                Nami’s jaw went slack and her eyes went wide as it suddenly clicked in her head. She sat forward and put her face in her hands, “Oh god, I know where he’s going with this.”

                Everyone glanced at her and then back at Luffy who was nodding, “Aaand then the first thing I heard about Arlong was that Nami had taken the Merry to make him think she was joining his crew…”

                “So when you heard her tease you about joining Bones’s crew…” Reiju started in horror.

                “You thought she was telling you he was a dangerous enemy,” Sanji finished.

                “And since we had all just been talking about how strong he was, even Sabo, who I’ve never been able to beat, doesn’t think he could win alone…” Luffy continued, a small smile growing as he realized his crew was starting to understand.

                “You did the only thing you could think of to get him away from us,” Usopp finished, all the color having drained from his face.

                “So why did you say it was because he was trying to poach our crew members?” Zoro asked, the new information seeming to conflict with the old.

                “Okay, so…do you remember when you and Sanji were talking to him over the snail on the way here?” Luffy asked, “He was ready to leave us alone because both of you told him we didn’t want him around. The only reason he didn’t is because Reiju talked him out of it, but that was before I got confused and thought we needed to get rid of him. He was already on his way back when you all started yelling, and fighting him wouldn’t make him go away and could’ve gotten some of you hurt even if we had managed to win.”

                “So you said the one thing that you knew would make him go away,” Nojiko mused, “That’s… actually kind of clever.”

                “And he hits like Grandpa so clearly everybody was right and he’s really dangerous,” Luffy concluded with a nod, “I thought he was okay, and since apparently Nami didn’t mean to tell me he was a bad guy, maybe I was right, but there’s one thing I know for sure.” He held up a finger, “I can’t lie.”

                He held up another finger, “I can’t use swords.” Another finger and then he kept raising more as he started going down the list, “I can’t navigate, cook, or shoot, and I know I’m not that smart. Maybe I’m not a… what was that word, Sanji? High for compartment?”

                Reiju and Sanji stiffened as they realized he had heard their conversation the night before last. “Hyper competent, it means somebody’s super good at something, like Nami is at navigation or Sanji is with cooking,” Reiju explained, thankful that even though she’d been able to confirm her emotions weren’t completely gone, they were still suppressed enough to mitigate the extreme mortification she was sure she’d be feeling otherwise.

                Luffy nodded, “Right. I’m not that at being a captain, and I can’t punch like Grandpa or run on top of water. There’s a whole lot of things I can’t do. What I can and will do, is trust my crew and protect my friends no matter what. If I have to be stronger than Grandpa to keep you all safe, then that’s what I’ll do. If it means taking hits like Grandpa’s…” he shrugged, “Not like I’ve never been hit before.”

                He let that hang for a moment and then sat forward and laced his fingers, “Does that answer your question Zoro?”

                Zoro nodded, “Yep, that checks out. Thanks, Luffy. I feel better now.”

                Luffy nodded, “Right!” And as he went back to cheerfully eating, seemingly once again totally oblivious to everything except the food he was more or less inhaling, the oppressive silence took its leave. A few glances were swapped, unspoken conversations had, but whether he knew it or not, Luffy’s simple honesty and insistence on taking the blame for his mistake had just shored back up his crew’s dwindling faith in him. Some doubts still lingered about his capability, but no longer was his character in question, and for those at that little table in the tangerine grove, that was good enough.

…

…Mid-Afternoon, Shore of Shimotsuki…

…

                Ulti, Page, Jango and Kuina had gone into town to procure more supplies, that had kind of become a daily thing as we realized more and more things we’d need, so now it was just me and Mari down by the ship, and we’d elected to take a little break from working on it to spar.

                Mari and I circled each other, guards up. She was the highest bounty of the three, and now that I was fighting her, it was becoming abundantly clear why. We shot towards each other, my hand going out for a jab. She slipped around it, her own lead hand snapping out and impacting my own guard hand before her left hook drove under my arm into my ribs with enough force to knock me back and nearly off my feet.

                Of the three, Ulti had the most speed, Page had the most strength. Mari? Mari had the skill. How she’d picked it up being as big as her old form was I’m not sure, but she was an excellent kick boxer.

                Despite the hit to the ribs, my guard didn’t falter further and I was able to block the kick to the ribs, the follow up to the head and holy shit! I just barely managed to skip back out of range of the spinning back kick she threw off her other leg at my jaw with a speed and accuracy that I am certain would’ve made Sanji go full ‘Heart-eyes McSwoony’ if he’d seen it. Then she returned her leg and foot to their natural size in an instant and sent me flying as I suddenly got full body slammed with a foot the size of a door moving at ridiculous speeds.

                Mari shrank her foot back, and even as I was skidding to a halt, still on my feet, she expanded her other foot and shot forward, hammering a full powered left jab into my face. Anyone else, it would’ve been a clean knockout. Luckily, I had tilted my head forward and she caught my forehead instead of my jaw, so while it was one hell of a lick, she still had to follow up with an upper cut that I dodged and countered with a right jab only for her to dodge. Another attempted hit to my ribs blocked with my back hand, I blocked her right hook and my own backfist snapped out to connect with her nose. Her head snapped back and I seized the opportunity to drive my own left hook into her solar plexus.

                She crumpled around the blow and then slammed into the sand from my follow up hammer fist to the back of her head. Most opponents, that would probably have been it. Mari landed on her hands and spun, nearly sweeping my feet out from under me before using the momentum of her spin to throw another spinning roundhouse kick to my head as she came back to her feet. This time though, I surged forward and a moment later we’d wound up in a very complicated and tangled up position.

                Her left knee was on my shoulder trapped by my right hand, I had the other pinned under me, her right hand was pinned under my left foot, and we each had one hand free with insufficient reach to pummel the other. Mari smiled up at me rather seductively, “Shall we call this one a draw Captain?”

                The entire fight had taken right at thirty seconds.

                I nodded, it was good enough for a spar. “I believe that’s five in a row isn’t it?”

                “Hmm, it seems we’re rather evenly matched in skill level,” Mari confirmed as I let go of her leg and stood up, offering her a hand back to her feet. Once she was back upright, she let her hair down out of its ponytail, “Captain, may I ask you something?”

                I nodded, “Of course.”

                “How much of the future can you see?” Maria asked thoughtfully as she looked me in the eye, “Because even as good as you are, you don’t appear to have the sort of reflexes that would indicate Observation Haki advanced enough to see into the future. You said it was some other thing letting you know these things right?”

                I nodded, “Correct, I haven’t honed my Observation anywhere near enough for Future Sight. I know a possible future because I’m from a parallel universe where this one is nothing more than a story I read casually. So, aside from the opening two sagas, my knowledge is… spotty, at best, increasingly so the further we go. We had many stories back home about people getting transported into stories they enjoyed, often with near encyclopedic knowledge of the story they were entering.”

                I snorted with a wry grin, “No such luck for me, there were dozens of stories I could’ve gotten thrown into if I ever did, and I didn’t believe it was possible anyway, so obsessing over and trying to memorize every little detail? Pfft, screw that.” I made a dismissive little gesture, “I know the gist of it on most things, but that’s about it and there’s a lot, I do mean a LOT of the story that I didn’t wind up actually reading due to various circumstances. Again, I got a synopsis of those parts, know some important details, but saying I know everything that’s going to, or rather was supposed to happen? Utter nonsense.

                “Besides,” I added, “we’re already making such waves that anything I would have known will likely have changed. In all those stories where someone gets thrown into a story, it normally takes a lot longer for them to start making enough changes to really affect the timeline. Yamato and Reiju teleporting to the East Blue at the same time I did? The world stage has already been shaken up tremendously. I expect the ripples to have completely shattered the course of events beyond the second, no, the third saga, and depending on how things go at Loguetown, even those may be up in the air.”

                “And yet you’re still basing plans off that knowledge even knowing it may be faulty?” Maria asked, an eyebrow raised in concern.

                I shrugged, “What else can I do? For all that the events may be out the window, everything else has thus far lined up with what I knew save that Kuina’s alive. I’m basing my plans more on guessing how the major and even minor players will react and new information as I’m able to procure it. It’s far less information than I’d like to have, and I’m getting constant reminders of how little I actually know, but it’s still considerably more than what most have. I can’t just not attempt to leverage it as much as I can you know?”

                “Besides,” I added, “There are entire swaths of the story that only exist in certain versions which could throw off any spatial or temporal calculations I could possibly make, and if one such swath exists but the rest of the timeline hasn’t been adjusted to account for it, then things could be thrown off to a catastrophic degree should I fail to account for it. Just because it always magically works out in the stories so that the timeline isn’t disrupted doesn’t mean it will here now that it’s become real life.

                “In short,” I finished, “I don’t know anything like everything, what I do know involves a lot of potentially conflicting and faulty information, and all I can do is the best I can do with what I’ve got, but…” I grinned at her, “Isn’t that what being alive is?”

                Mari thought about it for a moment and then smiled, “I guess I’ll just have to have faith in our devious captain then.” Then she shot a thoughtful glance off towards Shimotsuki village, “Do you think Yamato would like a massage when she gets done? I’m sure she’ll be tired and stiff. I… haven’t been a very good friend to her all these years,” she admitted somberly, “…and yet you two still took me right in. I really want to thank her.”

                I smiled, “I bet she’d love a massage. Come on, let’s see if we can find some kind of oil you can use. Oh, before I forget, how much silk can you make?”

                Mari tilted her head in confusion as we headed towards the now near completed ship, “My silk? Um…” she thought for a moment, “I’ve never actually tried to find the upper limits. What did you have in mind?”

                I gestured to the ship, “Just because it doesn’t need a sail to go doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still have one just in case. I didn’t put the mast there just for giggles you know. Also, silk sells for ridiculous money, is good for stitches, bandages, clothes, sheets... and spider silk is actually stronger than steel, so if you can produce it in rope sizes then it’s great for rigging too.”

                Mari thought about it for a second and held her hand out experimentally. An entire silk kimono fell out of it!

                She barely caught it and as both of us gaped in surprise at it, I muttered, “I love Devil Fruits so much…”

…

…That Evening, Cocoyashi…

…

                Luffy’s head snapped back in a double take as Nami came through the door, his eyes focusing immediately on what he’d almost carelessly overlooked, “Nami, what happened to your shoulder?!”

                Nami paused and raised an arm to the bandaged shoulder in question, “Oh this? Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just had to get that Arlong tattoo inked over with a new one. Doc Nako couldn’t remove it, so I just got a new one put over it. It’ll be uncomfortable for a while, but I’d take losing the arm outright over having that monster’s mark on me another minute.”

                Luffy nodded, “Ok, as long as you’re not hurt. Oh hey, you said we were waiting for a wind to set sail right? Sanji and Usopp say we’ve got all the supplies we can get here without making things hard for everybody here. Are we gonna be able to set sail soon?”

                Nami opened her mouth to reply and then paused as she felt it. The wind had shifted, instead of the south it was blowing from the east. Nami glanced over her shoulder into the gentle wind, “Well, there’s the wind. I guess there’s your answer. We should be able to set out in the morning.”

                Luffy nodded, visible excitement spreading across his face, “Right!”

Chapter 17

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

Notes:

Happy Halloween everybody! It's a bit of a shorter chapter, and kinda late in the evening, but I really wanted to put something out for Halloween. As always, please enjoy! Next chapter should be the start of Loguetown. (^_^)

…

…June 7^th – Mid-Morning, Somewhere in the New World…

…

                “Ahhh shit my head…” Red Haired Shanks groaned as he sat up in the shade of the palm tree he’d passed out under. “Guys? Guys, what day is it?”

                There was a concerted groaning from his crew and then Shanks heard a very distinctive squawk. He turned and saw a blob of white and yellow and blue on the sand next to him. Shanks rummaged in his pocket and pulled out the needed change before fumbling half blindly to get the coin to the News Coo’s coin pouch. The News Coo obligingly leaned a little bit to the left to help him out, and keep from getting a coin in the beak. It pulled out a copy of the day’s newspaper and set it in Shanks’s hand, earning a smile from Shanks, “You’re a nice birdy.”

                Shanks rubbed his eyes with the back of his wrist, trying to clear his vision to read the paper as the News Coo took off. It took a few minutes, but eventually he was able to make out the headline:

HERO OF THE MARINES – COMMODORE AIN PROMOTED TO VICE ADMIRAL!

                “Well that’s nice, good for…” Shanks’ brow furrowed, “Isn’t that the little hottie that Mihawk told me about that was his source with the Navy? How did she get a two rank promotion like that? Especially such big ranks?” He started reading and the more he read the more awake he was. When he finished the article, he checked the date at the top of the page and sat back stunned before bursting out laughing.

                “Hey guys! New record! Eleven days black out drunk!” He narrowly managed to dodge the conch shell Yasopp threw at him.

…

…That Afternoon, East Blue…

…

                Nojiko walked up to the bow of the ship where Reiju had been pacing like a tigress in a cage for an hour, pausing and thinking, just generally lost in thought. For all that she was clearly very preoccupied though, Reiju still noticed immediately when Nojiko came up the stairs with a glass of tangerine… something. Sanji had made enough for everybody with a couple of tangerines Nami and Nojiko had brought from Bellemere’s grove, so of course he’d gone all out to make sure it was ‘worthy of his mellorines’ treasures’.

                Nojiko still wasn’t too sure about being called discount ice cream, but the chef was so sincere and over the top in his admiration of them that she was sure in some odd chef way it was meant to be a very high compliment. That was part of why she’d offered to take a glass of it out to his far more sensible elder sister. The other part was honestly that she wanted to get to know the woman Nami thought so highly of, and something clearly had the eldest Vinsmoke sibling spooked. Anything that could scare a woman capable of beating the stuffing out of Arlong’s pet sea monster underwater was something Nojiko wanted to know about.

                Nojiko held up the glass she’d brought for Reiju with a smile, “Sanji made these, asked if I could bring you one.”

                Reiju accepted with a small smile and grateful nod, “Thank you.”

                Nojiko leaned against the rail and let Reiju get a good long sip down, “So, everything alright? You’ve been kind of quiet.”

                Reiju blinked in surprise and then glanced over at Nojiko before sighing, “I’m… well I don’t feel fear, that was cut out of me at a young age, but...” she heaved a frustrated sigh, “Bones.”

                Nojiko took a second to file away ‘cut out of me at a young age’ into a folder of things to ask Sanji and Nami about later, but right then, “Isn’t that the guy that slaughtered Arlong and his crew?”

                Reiju nodded, “That’s him. Every time I think about him, my stomach feels… light but twisted up. Do, do you ever get a feeling like that?”

                Nojiko blinked, “Butterflies in your stomach?”

                Reiju snorted with laughter, “Is, is that really what it’s called?”

                Nojiko nodded, “Uh yeah?”

                Reiju shook her head with a small smile, “That’s hilarious. My Raid Suit had a butterfly motif.” Then she exhaled and glanced over at Nojiko, “So, what causes it? How do I get rid of it?”

                Nojiko thought for a moment, “Ah… well let’s back up the wagon a little. What’s he look like?”

                “He’s big, with an extremely impressive physique. Like, Zoro muscles,” Reiju explained, “He’s got white blonde hair, it was cut fairly short and neat when I first met him but he’s grown it out a lot in the month since then. His eyes are gray, and he’s got a big friendly smile that sets me on edge because everyone I knew where I was before he rescued me with that wish or, whatever he did to get me out here to the East Blue, everyone I knew back then smiled because they wanted something from me.”

                “Aaand has he?” Nojiko asked cautiously, “Wanted anything from you?”

                Reiju shook her head, “No. He hasn’t wanted anything but to help me and be friends, I mean, surely he wants sex, he flirted with me nonstop that one day we were together, but he was perfectly fine with backing off and letting me have my space to follow Luffy and Zoro to Sanji to see he was telling me the truth. Hell, it was his idea! He’s been nothing but kind and helpful to me, and admittedly an absolute tease but I probably earned that considering I was regularly threatening to kill him… so why the hell do I feel like this every time I think about him?!”

                Nojiko had to fight back a laugh and managed to make her smile reassuring (she hoped), “How does it feel? You said butterflies in your stomach, what else?”

                Reiju started pacing again, “My face feels hot even though I’m largely immune to extreme temperatures and the East Blue is definitely not hot enough to pierce that. My heart pounds and my nerves start going crazy like I’m about to be in a huge fight…”

                Nojiko couldn’t help it anymore and let out a light little laugh, “Holy shit, you’re down so bad for him.”

                Reiju stopped pacing and looked at Nojiko in absolute confusion, “Down bad with what? Is it a sickness?”

                Nojiko couldn’t help it and barely managed to keep from laughing in Reiju’s face, “Love sickness maybe!”

                Reiju couldn’t have looked more dumbfounded if Nojiko had reached out and slapped her. It took her a second to start protesting, “What? That’s ridiculous. I can’t be in love! That’s… Father cut my capacity for love out with my fear! I, it can’t be that!”

                Nojiko stopped laughing, urgently filing that away under ‘things to ask Sanji and Nami about later’, but she schooled her face into a gentle comforting expression, “Alright, well let’s do a little experiment. Step over here to the rail and close your eyes.”

                Reiju did so while giving Nojiko a confused and apprehensive look, setting her glass down as she did. Nojiko set her glass down as well, rubbed her hands on her pants to knock the chill from the drink off and began gently massaging Reiju’s shoulders from behind, “Now, I want you to imagine you’re on a beautiful beach. The sun’s warm, you’re dressed in your very sexiest swim suit. With me so far?”

                Reiju gave a little hum of approval and Nojiko noticed some of the tension leaking out of her shoulders, “Now… imagine Bones comes up, no shirt, just that big manly slab of muscles on display, glistening in the sun and his swimsuit fits him juuust right.”

                Nojiko felt Reiju’s pulse pick up, and noticed her face turning pink, “He’s got a pair of drinks on a platter, one for you and one for him. It’s your favorite, he knew exactly what you’d like best and made sure it was juuust right.”

                “Where are you going with this?” Reiju muttered, but made no move to get out of Nojiko’s grasp.

                Nojiko grinned from ear to ear, “Now as you take a little sip, he offers to give you a shoulder rub. He’s got really great hands for it… feel those callouses scraping over your skin?” She moved her hands to the center of Reiju’s shoulder blades and began to massage her back, “He’s really going all out to make sure you’re as comfy and happy as can be.”

                “…why?” Reiju asked, her voice a bit tight.

                “Oh you know why…” Nojiko whispered in her ear as her fingertips traipsed lightly up and down Reiju’s ribs, “He wants you. He wants you to be all his. He wants to pick you up and carry you back to his cabin…” her fingers began to tease Reiju’s toned stomach, “Toss you in the bed and climb on top of you…” a hand went down to Reiju’s hips and began to stroke those and then down to her thighs, “Spread these long pretty legs of yours and then…”

She grabbed Reiju’s boobs, “He takes his prize!”

                For all that Nojiko had been quite intentionally winding Reiju up, she had not at all expected the surprised gasp and full body shudder that preceded Reiju all but collapsing into her arms.

                “Okay!” Reiju panted as she tried to recover from the surprise orgasm, “Okay, you have, at least proven, that I… very badly, want to climb him like a tree and ride him into the ground. I’m… still not sure about love though.”

                Nojiko sighed with a carefree smile, “Well it’s a start.”

…

…?????...

…

                Luffy glanced around, it was night time and even though the moon was out, the shadows were very dark. “Where is everybody?”

                The village was deserted, not even the wind was blowing. Luffy started walking and after a moment realized he was standing in front of Party’s Bar back in Foosha Village. Luffy walked in and was immediately struck with how quiet and… dead the bar felt. He’d been in Party’s at night after closing plenty of times, but he’d never seen the bar like this.

                The shelves were empty, and even though it was clean… it felt abandoned, like the time he, Ace and Sabo had found a dead body in a shack in the Gray Terminal. Luffy gulped and looked around, “Makino! Hey, are you here?! It’s me, Luffy!”

                There was no answer. Luffy looked around, checking in every room with his pulse hammering as every room was as abandoned as the last. He went out onto the street and began peeking in windows, hoping to find somebody, anybody…

                “They’re all gone kid.”

                Luffy whirled and saw Shanks, his eyes shadowed under his hat. Luffy lit up and ran over, “Shanks! Hey where is everybody?!”

                “They’re gone Luffy, they’ve all gone to join Bones’s crew because he’s a better captain than you,” Shanks said quietly, the same way he had when they’d come back without Uta.

                Luffy’s heart skipped a beat, “No, you’re, you’re lying!”

                Shanks was suddenly gone and Luffy found himself running, trying to force his way through the crowd as the Going Merry set out to sea, his crew laughing as they set out. “NO! WAIT! WAIT FOR ME!” Luffy yelled, “WE’RE FRIENDS AREN’T WE?!”

                BOOM!!!

                The horizon became a wall of fire for an instant and Luffy saw Buggy the Clown laughing psychotically on the rail of his ship as the remains of the Going Merry burned.

                Luffy took off faster than he’d ever run in his life, diving into the water and swimming desperately to try and reach his crew… he could just barely see them, they were right there, floating in the water!

                But the sea will hate you…

                Shanks’ words echoed in his ears and suddenly Luffy remembered he couldn’t swim. The ground seemed to fall away beneath him only for a hand to snatch him up, and suddenly Luffy was a kid again, face to face and held at arm’s length by Higuma the Bear.

                Luffy saw then as he had before, a massive dark form moving beneath the water. Higuma turned in horror, but his grip didn’t loosen and Luffy couldn’t get away from what was rising from the waves in the moonlight. Bones, water streaming from his hat and beard rumbled in a voice like thunder, “I’M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRAAAAAAAAATES!”

                His massive hand reached towards Luffy to crush him…

…

…The Going Merry…

…

                “AH!” Luffy sat bolt up right and nearly fell out of his hammock, his heart hammering. He looked around, counting heads. He quietly slipped out of his hammock, padding over to the little hatch that joined the boys’ room to the girls’. He undid the latch as quietly as he could and poked his head in, quickly counting. He closed it back and put the latch back before exhaling quietly.

                Everyone was still there.

                He was almost back to his hammock when he changed his mind and headed over to the ladder, climbing up to the deck as quietly as he could. He looked around carefully, his eyes scanning the horizon for any sign of lights of any trace of a sail. He circled the deck several times, even climbing up to the crow’s nest once for a better look. It was quite a while before he was content that there was no Buggy closing in on them while they slept or giant Bones about to erupt out of the sea.

                As he was coming back around the forecastle on his way back to the boys’ room, he nearly jumped out of his skin as he rounded the corner and found Sabo rounding the corner from the opposite direction. Luffy jumped, Sabo just raised an eyebrow, “You wanna talk about it?”

                Luffy sagged, “Nightmare.”

                Sabo’s other eyebrow went up, “About?”

                “Everyone left,” Luffy declared quietly, “Shanks said it was because Bones was a better captain than me.”

                “And then?” Sabo asked gently.

                “Buggy blew up the ship with everyone on it,” Luffy shuddered, “I was swimming to try and help and then I remembered I couldn’t swim and Higuma had me by the throat and then the Lord of the Coast came but it wasn’t the Lord of the Coast it was Bones and he was gonna be King of the Pirates and he was about to squash me and then I woke up.”

                Sabo nodded, “So you were checking to make sure neither of them were anywhere close by?”

                Luffy nodded and was quiet for a long moment and then, “Sabo, is Bones a better captain than me?”

                Sabo shrugged, “Don’t know, haven’t sailed with him, buuut I think that wasn’t what you were really asking either, was it?”

                Luffy slumped against the rail and looked at the moon over on its way down, “Am I any good as a captain?”

                Sabo thought about it for a moment and then, “You protect your friends and you know what you want. You’re not a micromanager. Hmmm…” He took off his hat and rifled around in it, a moment later extracting a stack of papers. He set his hat back on his head and started looking through the papers in his hands, making Luffy very curious about what they were.

                A moment later Sabo pulled out a particular sheet, “Aha! The Revolutionary Army’s guidelines for command! It’s not quite a ‘how to be a captain’ list, but it’s still pretty good I think!”

                Luffy perked up and Sabo started reading, “First point! Lead by example! In other words Luffy, if you want your crew to act a certain way, you need to act that way first. So if you want them to help and look out for each other, you should be first in line to help or look out for them whenever you can. Make sense?”

                Luffy nodded, “I don’t get it but okay!”

                Sabo blinked and then took a deep breath and let it out, “Okay Luffy, let’s go with an example: Who inspired you to be a pirate?”

                “Shanks,” Luffy replied immediately, unsure of why Sabo would ask something he already very well knew.

                “And you want to be like Shanks right?” Sabo asked.

                “Right,” Luffy confirmed.

                “So Shanks led by example, he showed you what being an awesome pirate captain looked like and now you want to be an awesome pirate captain like him,” Sabo explained, “Does it make sense now?”

                “Right, be like Shanks!” Luffy nodded eagerly, “I can do that!”

                Sabo thought about correcting him, then he remembered that Red Haired Shanks was one of the Four Emperors and there were far worse people Luffy could choose as a role model. He shrugged, “Moving on, point number two! You want respect, you have to give it. So be nice to your crew and listen to them when they try to tell you things. Get their opinions before you make big decisions. Like, if Usopp’s scared of something, and you have time, hear him out about it. Ask him what about the situation scares him and then figure out how to handle it because Usopp is probably scared for a reason. You've got a lot of smart people on this crew, between all of them somebody can probably come up with a solution.”

                Luffy didn’t look completely sold on the idea so Sabo explained, “If you want people to listen to you, you have to listen to them too. Don’t try to get everybody else to help you tear down any opinion that doesn’t match yours, use the different opinions to evaluate your own. If everybody else thinks something is a bad idea, you should listen unless you have a really good reason why it’s a good idea, and you have to make sure you explain your reason so they’ll agree and follow you. Am I making sense?”

                Luffy thought about it, “That kinda sounds like something Grandpa would say.”

                Sabo opened his mouth to refute that and then thought about it and nodded, “And the Marines all love Grandpa. You know that right?”

                Luffy tilted his head, “Really? But he’s so mean!”

                “He was mean to us because he didn’t want us to be pirates, which in his eyes means we’d be in a lot more danger,” Sabo explained, “I didn’t realize it at the time either, but he actually was trying to protect us by scaring us off the path of piracy. Doesn’t mean he was right, but his intentions were sincere.”

                Luffy thought about it for a moment and then nodded, “Right! Be like Grandpa.”

                Sabo cringed, “Erm… don’t hit your crew. That won’t go over well.”

                Luffy tilted his head, “But Nami hits me?”

                Sabo forced down the swell of anger at that to exhale coolly, “Yes, and on top of Nami being much muuuch weaker than you, you’re immune to blunt force trauma.” He reached out and flicked Luffy on the head without Haki to prove his point.

                Then to his confusion, Luffy actually clutched his head where Sabo had flicked him, “AH!”

                Then he and Sabo had the same thought at the same time, “Why did that hurt you/me?!”

                Both of them were quiet for a moment and then a look of absolute horror spread over Luffy’s face. He threw his arm out behind him, and nothing happened. Luffy’s breath started to come quicker as Sabo breathed, “What the hell?”

                Luffy reached up and pulled at his face, for the first time in years it had a perfectly normal amount of elasticity instead of the rubbery consistency it had possessed since he ate the Gum-gum fruit, “Sabo, SABO! I CAN’T STRETCH!”

…

…The Next Morning, Shimotsuki Village…

…

                Yamato was visibly tired as she came down to the shore, blinking blearily in the light of the rising sun. She jumped half out of her skin as I fell out of the sky. I felt bad about startling her like that, but by the time I realized I had, I was already airborne again and it took me a minute to stop. I landed properly once I’d managed to get my flight path back under control and jogged back down the beach to her waving happily, “Morning Beautiful!”

                Yamato stared at me in slack jawed shock, “How… you were bouncing! Like a bunny! But off your side and you weren’t even doing anything!”

                I grinned wickedly, “Yohoho I stole a bite of Gum-gum!”

Notes:

PS: As an extra Trick-or-Treat, I'm also posting the first chapter of my new short Code Geass fanfic this evening if anyone's interested in reading that. (^_^)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60229273/chapters/153691918

Chapter 18: A Stormy Night In Loguetown Pt1

Chapter by Chuckling Ghost (Likes2Lllllurk)

Notes:

Ok everybody! Here we go! First chapter of the Part 1 finale!

I know it's a little shorter than normal, but this is after all more or less an appetizer. Hopefully it's got enough "holy shit!" moments to get you all hyped for what's coming. I hope you all enjoy!

Let's get rockin'!

…

…~-~-~-~…

…

                Yamato blinked in confusion and then, “Gum-gum? Isn’t that Luffy’s power?”

                “It is,” I replied with a smile, “And now it’s one of mine.”

                Yamato started to say something and then caught the way I’d said it, “One of yours?”

                I nodded, “You remember I told you I unlocked my Armament when I clocked Strawhat? I didn’t know that was going to happen, so I used my Devil Fruit to lock his away. I told you which one I got right? I’m so excited I can’t remember.”

                Yama-chan nodded, “The Kagi-kagi no mi, right? The Key-key fruit?”

                I nodded, “That’s right! My Key-key Fruit lets me lock, unlock and open things, like locking the position of water I displace with the Fishman Karate I picked up from Koala to form a solid arena, or locking my elevation so I don’t have to use Geppo to run on top of water, which makes it a lot easier to do and lets me stop to catch my breath if I need to. When I decided to clock Strawhat, I didn’t want to risk him shrugging it off, so I used my power to turn his off. I wasn’t sure if it worked because my Armament kicked on when I hit him, but upon reflection I remembered his jaw breaking under my fist and his neck didn’t stretch to absorb and reduce the impact, which it would have if he still had his powers. He effectively doesn’t have a Devil Fruit anymore, and won’t until he unlocks Haki strong enough to override it or someone manages to knock me out or kill me. With me so far?”

                Yamato nodded, a slightly troubled look on her face.

                “Then, last night while I was working, I realized that I had completely forgotten to experiment with my fruit since then aside from locking timbers in place during my work on the ship so that I could have an easier time fastening them properly. I’ve been busy building the ship, getting Page, Ulti, Maria, Jango and Kuina set up, trying to think of supplies we’ll need, things like that. So, I took a little break from working on the ship to experiment, and it occurred to me: If I can lock away other peoples’ Devil Fruit abilities, can I unlock those same abilities in myself?”

                I casually tossed my fist a few hundred yards down the beach, eyeing it curiously before letting it snap back. “It’s a very strange sensation,” I noted as I flexed my hand, “but now I’ve got the rubber body of the Gomu-gomu no mi, and when I combine it with Life Return…” I raised my hand and it inflated in what Luffy would one day call Third Gear, “I can access all the things Luffy would’ve eventually figured out how to do with it, sans the drawbacks.” I let my hand shrink back down and mused, “Don’t know if I can unlock the Awakened abilities, not sure it’s worth the trouble even if I can, given what my Key-key fruit can already do, that and I don’t actually know what goes into an Awakening or how that would manifest for the Gomu-gomu no mi, but at the very least I’ve got a whole bag of extremely formidable new tricks.”

                “So… so you’ve got literally any Devil Fruit power you want now?!” Yama-chan asked incredulously.

                I grinned, “Right! I don’t want to try using too many at once, there’s bound to be a point of diminishing returns after all, but honestly this is just a novelty compared to what my Key-key fruit can do by itself. I couldn’t have asked for a more versatile and powerful ability. The list of things I can’t do with this power is basically non-existent.”

                “Um, yeah!” Yama-chan exclaimed, “You’ve got every Devil Fruit!”

                “All for one,” I replied with a cheeky grin, “And with the ability to lock away the abilities of other fruit users and unlock those same abilities in others, I can even trick people into believing that I can steal and redistribute Devil Fruit powers. That was actually the name of a comic book supervillain back home,” I mused, “All For One. I have no intention of being that evil or shortsighted, but the image is a very powerful tool to gather support and deter opposition. What Devil Fruit user is going to want to fight me knowing I can strip them of their powers in an instant? Anyone without the Haki to override a hostile Devil Fruit ability is going to be up shit creek without a paddle!”

                “We’ll need to acquire most of our Devil Fruits naturally,” I mused, “We don’t need to risk becoming a key-stone army, although the pun there is hilarious now that I think about it but hmm?”

                Yama-chan had set a hand on my shoulder and as I turned, she gently tugged me into a kiss, “That’s enough megalomania for one night. I’m sleepy.”

                I picked her up in a bridal carry with a smile at the unspoken request for cuddles, “Yes ma’am!”

                “We finished Kuina’s sword,” she mumbled as she cuddled her head into my shoulder, “Shirou says is a….” she yawned, “Shirou’n Kuina say is better’n wad of itchy money…”

                I narrowly restrained my howls of laughter at her sleepily slurred mispronunciation. She was already snoring gently in my arms as I carried her towards the ship and our bed, and I wouldn’t disturb her for anything.

…

…Meanwhile, The Going Merry…

…

                “Reiju, what do you think?” Luffy asked after a moment of consideration. He’d broken the news of having lost his Devil Fruit powers to the crew with his typical lack of tact when they came up for breakfast, and they were all in various states of worry, shock and disbelief.

                Reiju was quiet for a moment, her eyes closed in thought and aware of all eyes in the galley being on her. Then she realized something and her eyes popped open, “Hang on, Luffy, your jaw broke.”

                Luffy frowned, “Yeah?”

                “It shouldn’t have,” Reiju declared, “Even if Bones used Armament Haki, your neck should have stretched and absorbed most if not all of the impact. You lost your powers before he hit you!”

                Luffy reached up and set a hand on the side of his neck as everyone realized she was right. Reiju thought for a moment, “Which means…” She frowned, “How did Bones make the sea stay parted like that?”

                Koala thought for a moment, “Fishman Karate could theoretically do the splitting. I did show him the basics, but I don’t think it could make the sea act like a solid arena like that. The only thing I can think of that would do that is a Devil Fruit.”

                “So Bones used whatever Devil Fruit he used to stop the sea from falling back in on him to stop your powers and make sure you felt that hit,” Sanji deduced.

                “So all we have to do is convince him to turn them back on!” Reiju declared optimistically, “I can…”

                “No,” Luffy declared firmly, prompting everyone to look at him in surprise.

                “No?” Reiju asked in confusion.

                Luffy shook his head, “If he is a Devil Fruit user, then I nearly killed him. On top of that, I drove him away with words when that didn’t work. I know you want to believe the very best of him Reiju, and I may not be that smart, but I’m pretty sure he won’t just up and forgive me for that, no matter what my reason was.”

                “He forgave me for shooting him!” Reiju protested, forgetting in the heat of the moment her own assessment from nearly a week earlier that I’d almost certainly never forgive Luffy.

                “You’re also a very beautiful woman,” Sanji pointed out, “And from what you’ve told me, he didn’t have anything to live for when you did that. Now he does.”

                Luffy looked over at Sanji, “What’s Reiju being a girl got to do with it?”

                “Men will forgive a pretty girl for a lot of things they wouldn’t forgive a guy for,” Nami explained.

                Luffy thought for a moment, “Is this one of those pants things?”

                Sabo sighed, “Yes Luffy, it’s a pants thing.”

                Luffy nodded, “Right, so it’s a pants thing. Anyway, I’m not doing any pants things with Bones, and Reiju, I don’t want you doing pants things with him over this. You can if you want to because you like him, but don’t do it as part of some bargain or whatever. That goes for everybody,” he added as he glanced around at everybody, “So he’s probably not going to give my Devil Fruit powers back.” He sighed, “Well, it can’t be helped. Guess I’ll just have to do without ‘em.”

                Everyone did a small double take and Sabo protested, “But, you’ve spent like the last ten years learning how to use that fruit! How are you so calm?!”

                Luffy looked at Sabo, “I spent ten years learning how to fight, that hasn’t gone away. I’m just not a rubber man anymore. It’ll be fine! What’s for breakfast?”

                “Crepes,” Sanji replied automatically.

                “Grapes?” Luffy asked with a puzzled look.

                “Crepes,” Sanji stressed, “Fruit and meat wrapped in a pancake! Although we could have grape crepes,” Sanji added thoughtfully.

                “Ooh! Great grape crepes? That sounds yummy! When do we eat?!” Luffy asked excitedly.

                Sanji blinked and then shook off his confusion at Luffy’s incredibly blasé reaction to having lost what most would consider a rather defining part of his identity, “Ah, gimme a few minutes. I’ll whip some up.”

                Everyone else swapped glances and reached a nonverbal agreement: If Luffy said it wasn’t a problem, it wasn’t a problem.

…

…That Afternoon, Marineford…

…

                Garp reached over and picked up the receiver on his Transponder Snail, “Garp here.”

                “Hey Grandpa, it’s me Luffy!”

                Garp sat bolt upright. Despite having made absolutely sure he drilled his snail number into their heads and keeping a snail near him at all times ever since, none of his grandsons had ever called him, “Are you alright?!”

                “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just lost my Devil Fruit powers,” Luffy replied nonchalantly, “Sabo thought I should ask you for tips on getting stronger since I’m not a rubber man anymore.”

                Garp took a second to process that, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!”

…

…An Hour Later…

…

                “SENNY!” Garp shouted as he burst through the door at a small sprint.

                Sengoku looked up calmly, wondering what had Garp in such a tizzy. A lesser man might’ve jumped, but Sengoku’s Observation had let him sense Garp coming. He raised an eyebrow and then sat forward, steepling his fingers. Now that he saw him, he could tell Garp was genuinely freaked out. “What’s wrong?”

                “That Whitebeard Jr. punk has a Devil Fruit that can shut down other Devil Fruits!” Garp exclaimed.

                Sengoku’s eyes widened and he immediately opened a drawer to extract his copy of the Devil Fruit Encyclopedia, “Tell me everything.”

…

…That Evening…

…

                I cheerfully picked up the snail mic, fully intending to make a joke only to realize I couldn’t think of one. I probably looked pretty stupid standing there with my mouth open as I blanked out before closing it, “Bones here, talk to me.”

                Ain’s confused blink was transferred across the snail, “Ah, hey it’s Ain. So uh, little birdy told me you got yourself a Devil Fruit?”

                I looked at the snail in surprise, “Holy shit. News travels fast huh? Yeah I got a really good one, it’s the…OOF! Hmm?!”

                Yama-chan had just tackled me to the ground and slapped a hand over my mouth, “Give me the mic.”

                Very confused I did so. Yama-chan looked as spooked as she had when I explained poltergeists as she told Ain, “We’ll call you back.”

                As soon as she hung up, she set her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye, “Bones… turn off your copy of Luffy’s Devil Fruit. Right now.”

                I raised an eyebrow, “Why? It’s…” Then I looked closer and realized she looked utterly desperate to get me to turn it off. I nodded as I reached up to the side of my chest with my fingers pointed at my heart as I made a motion like turning a key, “Alright, I don’t get what all the fuss is about th…”

                My eyes went wide as everything snapped into clarity and my heart skipped a beat. It was like I’d gone from drunk off my ass to sober in an instant. Everything fell into place quickly as my mind raced through the information I knew for an explanation. I let my head thunk back to the deck, “Holy fuck Devil Fruits come with mental contamination.” I put both hands over my face and rubbed my eyes before asking with a bit of dread for the answer, “How bad was it? I know I just came within a breath of revealing my ability to the Navy but my memory’s...fuzzy.”

                “You’ve been acting high all day,” Mari answered sharply, “Not just buzzed, high off your ass like you’ve been smoking the really strong stuff that I don’t allow anywhere near my people.”

                “Like seriously, normally you’ve got a screw loose but it’s only the one,” Ulti added, “You’ve been acting like… like… fuck, we had a guy like that didn’t we Page?”

                “Kaido in happy goofy flirty drunk mode,” Page confirmed softly, “Or Who’s Who on catnip.”

                “I don’t know what that means,” Kuina mused as I went stiff as a board with horror under Yama-chan at the comparison, “but I would’ve been a hell of a lot more reluctant to trust you if you’d been acting like that when we met.”

                “It could’ve been fun, but honestly I’ve seen you drunk and you’re not like that even drunk,” Jango declared, “It was… concerning.”

                “You weren’t you,” Yama-chan told me gently, “Please don’t experiment with that ability to copy other abilities anymore. I was really scared you weren’t going to come back to normal.”

                “Never again,” I agreed, “I can not afford to be… fuck, is that why Luffy’s such an absolute crackhead?”

                “Crackhead?” Ulti asked curiously.

                “Nasty shit,” Jango explained, “Probably the hardest drug in the East Blue. You DON’T want someone on your crew using it. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world for a few minutes, but then you crash, want more and it’s a stimulant, so you’re all of a sudden left with all that energy but none of the feel good from that initial rush. It turns people into monsters in a hurry. If Strawhat’s on that, then I feel really bad for his crew.”

                “I don’t think he is,” I pointed out, “Where I’m from that term is used for anybody acting like a wild dumbass, which he very much is. Or now possibly was, given that I turned off his Devil Fruit and using it myself made me act like that. If it can do that to me, what’s it done to him over the course of a decade?” I mused grimly.

…

…Three Days Later…

…

                “Who names a ship The Locker?” Usopp wondered aloud as he looked up at the immense ship the Merry had moored alongside.

                “Couple of merchants from the Grand Line,” a man with dark hair replied, “I could hardly understand a word the captain was saying, but the rest of the crew didn’t have quite such a thick accent. They said he called it that because it’s where he keeps all his most precious cargo. Dunno why he’d let it get into such rough shape if that’s true though.”

                Indeed, the massive ship moored alongside the Merry was beaten all to hell. Massive and dark, it looked like exactly what Usopp would imagine a ghost ship to look like. In fact, Usopp mused as he scanned the ship, Every detail I see makes it look more and more like a ghost ship than not. Then he did a double take as he could’ve sworn he saw a face screaming in torment etched into the side of the hull, only for it to be a whorl in the wood when he focused on it.

                “Huh, you don’t say,” Usopp mused, trying to shake the growing suspicion that he was looking at an actual ghost ship, “What sort of things are they selling from the Grand Line?”

                “Oh, it’s mostly silk I think. They’ve got these huge rolls of silk in every color I can think of along with actual clothes, no idea how or where they got so much,” the man replied, “They said they’re from uh, Vodka Kingdom I think? Not too sure about that, figure I must’ve gotten the name wrong, but anyway, they said they were just stopping to sell what they can and resupply.”

                “Is that what they said?” Another man asked thoughtfully.

                Usopp turned and found himself face to face with a wall of muscle, fur lined white coat and cigars. He looked up and immediately took a step away from the immense man who’d appeared silently behind them as the first man sprang a good two steps away, “Gyah! Captain Smoker! Please don’t scare me like that sir!”

                Captain Smoker gave a glance and a small nod of apology, “Sorry Pochi. Did you see which way they went?”

                “They asked for a clothing store, a smoke shop, and a market,” Pochi rattled off, “Two of them headed for the market, the captain headed off to I’m not sure where, and the rest headed into town with that wagon load of silk. I recommended Boin’s for the smoke shop. Should I be worried for Boin?”

                Smoker shook his head, “No, it’s just a gut feeling, probably nothing.” He turned to leave and patted Pochi on the shoulder, “Have a good day Pochi.”

                When Smoker was gone, vanishing into a trail of smoke that rocketed away, Usopp stepped forward, “Uh, excuse me, did I mishear? I could’ve sworn he said your name was Pochi.”

                Pochi turned, “That’s right.”

                “Did you have a sister in the Gecko Islands?”

                Pochi’s eyes went wide as it clicked, “AH! Little Usopp?! I haven’t seen you since you were a baby!” He quickly grabbed Usopp into a hug, “How’ve you been?! You’ve gotten so big! How’s Banchina? How’s everything back home?”

                Usopp was speechless for a moment and then he grimly patted his uncle Pochi on the shoulder, “Come on Uncle Pochi, you’re gonna want to sit down for this.”

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                Three men sat around a table at a café on the edge of Execution Plaza at the center of Loguetown. They’d each had several drinks and had been sitting there for nearly an hour. They were far from alone, and they made the waitstaff uneasy with their presence. They weren’t uneasy enough to call the Marines, especially since the base was barely a block away, but there was an air about the three men in particular that set their waitress’s hair standing on end. They weren’t particularly polite, but they were paying well to keep the drinks coming.

                “You’re sure about this?” the first man asked, his impatience clear.

                “They’ve caught the biggest bounty in the East Blue. There are no more exciting targets in this sea,” the second man replied, “They’ll head for the Grand Line, and she won’t risk going into the Grand Line without a full stock of supplies. To do that, they will stop here to resupply. Unless they get sidetracked sight seeing, they should make port here today, and if they’re sight seeing, then they will come to Execution Plaza. How can you visit Loguetown and not come to Execution Plaza?”

                “I still think stopping in this backwater’s a waste of time,” the first man griped.

                “If he’s wrong, then we’ll gather new information and redeploy as necessary,” the third man at the table declared calmly.

                “I still thi-who the hell are you?”

                “Don’t vorry about it,” the old stooped man declared in a thick accent as he shouldered the oar he was carrying, pulled a chair out with his foot and sat down, “Eez noht important.”

                He had a long beard and hair, both white, caked with salt and looking like he’d just gone for a swim in the bay. His clothes appeared old, battered and waterlogged. Where his left leg should’ve been was a wooden peg, and his right hand had been replaced with a narrow but vicious looking bladed hook that was clearly meant to be a weapon before anything else. Despite clearly being a man of the sea, he was so pale that one might think he’d never even seen the sun, let alone sailed beneath it.

                “I asked you a question, therefore it is important ya shitty geezer,” the first man declared.

                “Soch unprincely manners,” the old man grinned, “Vot doze Germa teach zees daze?”

                “Hey, we’re giving you one chance. Walk away,” Yonji Vinsmoke warned him, “We’re busy.”

                The old man chuckled, “Oh? Ahnd here Old Dav vos about to mayk ze princes fine offer.”

                “We don’t-eh?” Niji started only to pause as Ichiji stopped him with a hand snapped out to catch his shoulder.

                “What sort of offer?” Ichiji asked cautiously.

                “You know this guy Ichiji?” Yonji asked warily, half a second from ordering the guards to execute this old fool or jumping on him personally.

                “Look at the guards and civilians,” Ichiji instructed tersely.

                It was right about then that Niji and Yonji noticed what Ichiji had. The entire square had stopped, frozen as if in a photograph. Only they and the old man across from them were still moving. Birds were frozen midair. The only evidence that they hadn’t been tossed into a photograph was that they could after a moment see peoples’ torsos moving ever so slightly to indicate they were still breathing.

                “What the hell?” Yonji breathed, now acutely aware that something was very wrong.

                “You tryin’ to make threats old man?!” Niji demanded as he erupted to his feet.

                “We’d already be incapacitated if he wanted to hurt us,” Ichiji declared as he sat forward, “Sit down Niji, this man means no harm.”

                The old man chuckled as the world seemed to grow cold and dark, “I see aht least von Prince hahz his vits about him. So, let’s make deal, for you, your brothers ahnd pretty sister too.”

…

…Later…

…

                Sabo and Koala both shivered as they felt… something wash over them. “Did you feel that?” Koala asked, her senses suddenly on high alert, “Something’s wrong.”

                Sabo nodded, “Yeah but what…” his eyes went wide and he pointed up at the side of the buildings on the street, “Koala, why are the shadows on the West side of the street?”

                Koala blinked and then it hit her, “What the…HOW?”

…

…Across Town…

…

                Nami froze mid-stride as she felt it. Nojiko looked over at her, “You alright?”

                “The air just changed,” Nami declared, her face paling, “That time I know I felt it.”

                Nojiko tried to feel what Nami was but shook her head, “I know you’re crazy dialed into the weather, but I don’t feel it. What’s wrong with it?”

                “The temperature and humidity both just jumped like a few hours passed in an instant,” Nami explained, glancing around nervously before looking up at the sky. When she did, all the remaining color in her face drained away in an instant and she asked quietly, “Noji… what time is it?”

                “It’s like eight in the morning,” Nojiko replied, “Nami, you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?”

                “If it’s eight in the morning,” Nami asked shakily, “Then why is the position of the sun saying five in the afternoon?”

…

…Meanwhile…

…

                Smoker stopped and rubbed his eyes, something… something was off all of a sudden. Then he jerked as his Transponder Snail started ringing. Smoker pulled his Transponder Snail from his pocket and answered it, “Smoker here.”

                “Captain sir! It’s an emergency! The ship’s been cleaned out! They stole everything sir!”

                “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY STOLE EVERYTHING?!” Smoker demanded, his blood pressure spiking as his mind went to full alert.

                “Cannons, ammo, powder, swords, pistols, capture nets, charts, supplies, our entire set of Log and Eternal Poses! It looks like the only thing they didn’t take was the ship itself, the sail and rigging, the uniforms and the men on it! And they dyed all the uniforms we weren’t wearing PINK sir!”

                Smoker went as pale as his hair, “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! WHEN?! WHO WAS ON DUTY?! DO WE HAVE ANY WITNESSES?!”

                “We don’t know sir! It happened just now! I was cleaning a cannon out one second and the next I was scrubbing thin air, my wallet was empty and my head had been shaved into a mohawk! It, it all happened in in an instant sir! Wait, what? Sir! SIR! One of the middies just found an autographed wanted poster! It says Buggy the Clown was here!”

                Smoker didn’t hear him, and the snail mic slipped from his fingers, numb with shock. “That’s impossible…” Smoker breathed in horror.

                The ghost of Gol D. Roger paid him no heed and kept walking like he hadn’t even seen him before vanishing into thin air.

Notes:

There you go! At long last the reveal of Bones's Devil Fruit, along with some hints towards a much bigger mystery!

Chapter 19: A Stormy Night In Loguetown Pt2

Chapter by Likes2Lllllurk

Notes:

OK! Life has been life-ing and this one has if anything taken entirely too long to cook, so here we go! Without further wait or ado, please enjoy...

…

…5:02 PM Loguetown…

…

                “Um, excuse me miss,” a handsome young man with dark hair in a leather vest and a bowler hat asked as he approached Nami and Nojiko, “Did I just hear you say that the reason everything looks wrong all of a sudden is because a full day just passed in an instant?”

                “That’s, definitely what it looks and feels like,” Nami confirmed.

                The young man nodded, “That’s what I thought. If it’s not too bold, where are you ladies heading? If there’s something dangerous enough to steal a whole day out from under our noses around, then I’d not feel right leaving ladies like yourselves without an escort.”

                “My, how gallant,” Nojiko mused, unsubtly eyeing him like a piece of meat at the market, “We’re looking for a gun store. I need a new gun. Or three. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could buy some weapons and ammo would you?”

                The young man’s face lit up like she’d just asked him on a date, “Ma’am you asked the right fella. Right this way Miss ah… don’t believe I’ve caught ya name yet?”

                “I’m Nojiko,” Nojiko declared with a grin as she looped her arm through his, “And what do I call you?”

                “My name’s Nathan Masterson, but you can call me whatever you like,” the now named Nathan declared, clearly excited as a puppy as he led Nojiko off, “My father’s a retired Marine Sniper and he’s been training me how to shoot since I was old enough to walk.”

                “Ooh, so you know all the best gun shops,” Nojiko deduced excitedly, “You know my mother was a Marine too, she had to retire to take care of me and my sister, but she taught me how to shoot too.”

                “Well she sounds mighty amazin’,” Nathan replied, “Where was she deployed?”

                Nami watched this whole thing in a mild daze, What just happened? Nine hours passes in an instant and then Nojiko’s dream stud walks up? This has GOT to be some kind of… Nami’s eyes went wide as it hit her, Oh god this has got to be some kind of trap… Her heart hammering, she hurried after Nojiko and ‘Nathan’, completely missing despite her increased vigilance the three men in ponchos sitting at the nearby café subtly watching them like a murder of crows.

…

…5:25 PM…

…

                “SANJI!”

                Sanji pulled up short and turned as a woman called out to him in the middle of the crowded and confused street. He turned and saw a beautiful woman with pronounced eyeshadow and crimson hair that stuck up like a flame in a very fancy, fur lined, red velvet dress who held a fancy folding fan in one hand and a ladle in her teeth. She did a quick dance step before striking a pose, “I have been searching for you, for ten years!”

                Two small men popped out from behind her. “Behold the amazing Carmen!” “The finest kook in the East Blue!”

                “I am passion, some have called me Fiery Carmen,” the now named Carmen declared.

                The three struck a new pose with a unified, “O…LE!” “I am the first apprentice of Carmen, and my name is Fa-il!” (Or at least that’s what Sanji was pretty sure he said.) “And I am her second, Jose!” Sanji couldn’t help but think that they both looked incredibly stupid (an opinion he was far from alone in), but politely kept it to himself and instead focused on the beautiful lady who claimed to have been looking for him for a decade.

                He fought down the urge to hit a knee and start singing her praises, instead offering a smile, “Well congratulations, your search is over Miss, Carmen was it? If I may so humbly beg you forgive my impertinence, a lot’s happened over the last few weeks and as it’s been ten years, would you be so kind as to jog my memory of our last encounter?”

                Carmen smirked and sang, “Oh booo-oys! Tell the tale.”

                “RIGHT!” The first one, Fail? offered Sanji a stack of cards on a spatula, “Please look!”

                Sanji picked up the cards, “These are pictures of cooks.”

                “THAT’S TRUE!” Jose exclaimed, obnoxiously loud, obnoxiously close and with spittle flying onto Sanji’s jacket, “THESE ARE THE GREATEST COOKS IN THE EAST BLUE!”

                “And the great Carmen defeated every one of them in competition!” Fail explained with a twirl. Were Carmen not standing right there and clearly attached to these two, Sanji felt certain he’d have gleefully punted them both across the island by now.

                “Yeee-es!” Carmen drawled, “I truly am the most amazing cook in the East Blue! The cooks who have challenged me have all been, disappointing simpletons. And I was beginning to think there was no one left to challenge my skills, but then! I came across an article about the Baratie Sea Restaurant from when you still worked there. A cook at the Baratie said that his prior sous chef was the finest cook in the East Blue! He said that in all his years in the restaurant business, he had never met your equal!”

                Sanji fought back the immense grin from the surge of pride and delight glowing in his chest. He hadn’t seen that article, and hadn’t had any idea Zeff had given him such glowing praise.

                “Since that day, I have spent the last ten years searching the entire East Blue! FOR YOU…” Carmen finished dramatically.

                As Sanji’s eyes narrowed at the math very clearly not adding up, Jose piped up, “Actually… it has been ten days.” “Carmen has a weensy bit of trouble with a thing we like to call the truth,” Fail added.

                Carmen without missing a beat slapped them both flying with a frying pan that she pulled from… somewhere, “SHUT YOUR MOOOUTHS!”

                Then she dramatically pointed a finger at Sanji, “NOW I CHALLENGE YOU SANJI! If you dare to bring your spices to the Marketplace Cooking Competition at one this afternoon, you will be minced, like garlic, before heated oil! In a pan…OHHHOHOHO!!!” She laughed as she spun like a top.

                …Then she got dizzy from all the spinning and her two minions had to catch her to keep her from collapsing.

                Sanji blinked in confusion at the display as Carmen’s two minions hurriedly carried her away.

                “What the fuck was that about?” Yonji asked.

                “Apparently she wants to challenge me to a YONJI?!” Sanji leapt away in surprise as he realized who was next to him.

                “Hey bro!” Yonji greeted with a grin, “Father said Reiju was on vacation and found you too. He told us to come get you both, buuut he’s a dick, so we’re SHIT BRO CHILL OUT! I’M NOT HERE TO FIGHT!”

                “Does she even realize it’s five in the afternoon?” Niji asked, not paying any attention as Sanji attempted to kick Yonji’s skull in, having not noticed his other two brothers yet as Yonji dodged frantically.

                Ichiji shrugged as Sanji started walking on his hands, spinning and firing off kicks like a machine gun, “Who cares if she’s nuts? She’s hot. When did Sanji learn to walk on his hands like that?”

                Niji shrugged as one connected and sent Yonji skidding backwards, “Dunno. Seems like he’s gotten a lot faster and stronger though.”

                “Do you think we should step in?” Ichiji mused as Sanji sprang into the air and dropped an axe kick on Yonji’s crossed forearms.

                “Nah, I want to see who wins,” Niji grinned as Yonji caught Sanji’s foot and spun, hurling Sanji away. Sanji nearly crashed into a cabbage stand only to twist mid air and pass smoothly between canopy and cabbages without ruffling a single leaf. The old cabbage merchant sagged in relief.

                “SANJI WE’RE NOT HERE TO TAKE YOU BACK!” Yonji shouted.

                “THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” Sanji roared as he stalked around the cabbage stand he’d nearly been hurled into.

                “BECAUSE DAD’S A DICK!” Yonji shouted back as they got right up in each other’s faces.

                “HELL YEAH HE IS!” Sanji shouted back, “THAT’S NEVER MATTERED TO YOU BEFORE!”

                “WELL WE GOT OUR HEARTS BACK SO NOW IT DOES!” Yonji bellowed.

                Sanji pulled back in surprise, “Wait what?”

                Yonji snorted, “Ichi did a deal with some crazy sea spirit, we’re pretty sure it was Davy Jones. Said Dad had tossed our hearts into the sea and he traded ‘em back in exchange for all the weapons, treasure and tech we had on us. Said he was returning Reiju’s as well, so anyway, now we understand what absolute little shits we were and Ichi realized Reiju’s only been pretending to be okay for years. We’re pissed that Dad cheated us out of our lives, so now we’re cheating him out of his heirs and taking our lives back.”

                Ichiji nodded, “Besides, Captain Jones said you were going to need some help soon, so we figured we should come along and help you out.”

                “In short we’ve been dickheads and want to make it up to you and Reiju now that we’ve got our heads back on straight,” Niji added.

                Sanji’s eyes darted back and forth between the three of them, his mind whirling a thousand miles a minute, “Did you say Jones or Bones?”

                “We said Jones,” Ichiji replied, “Is it an important distinction?”

                Sanji straightened up, drew a cigarette and lit it, still clearly wound tight as a clock spring, “Well, all this crazy stuff has been happening in connection with a guy named Bones. Reiju likes him, I’m not too sure about him though. Fucker knows way too much about everything and apparently pulls off crazy stunts regularly. On top of that, my captain pissed him off big time a few weeks ago and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if that guy was out for blood now.”

                Ichiji and Niji swapped a glance as Yonji asked, “He’s not an old geezer with a hook hand is he?”

                Sanji looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “No, fairly young guy, huge, has both his hands and apparently even high powered firearms bounce off him like rubber bands. Looks like Whitebeard apparently?”

                “Definitely not who we were talking to then unless he’s crazy good at disguises,” Niji mused, “That old geezer had a white beard, but didn’t look like that Whitebeard, you know? Anyway, whatcha gonna do about that crazy hottie with the frying pan?”

                Sanji glanced over his shoulder and shrugged, “Eh, I don’t like competitions. Besides, what’s up with the time? Do you three know anything about it?”

                Ichiji nodded, “That was Captain Jones, he stopped time to make his deal with us. We were the only ones moving. It was… unsettling,” Ichiji declared, the subtle tightening of his jaw giving away that what he truly meant was ‘terrifying’.

                Sanji took a drag of his cigarette, “Well he clearly didn’t stop time or the sun wouldn’t be over in the west now, but maybe he stopped everyone else’s progress through it?”

                Ichiji shrugged, “Whatever he did, we’re fairly certain it was his doing since it started when he showed up and ended when he completed his business with us.”

                Sanji blew a plume of smoke out, “So now we’ve got two assholes with WHAT THE HELL?!”

                Yonji’s arm retracted from where he’d shot it out with his Winch Green powers to smack Sanji. He gave Sanji a very serious look, “Don’t badmouth Captain Jones. We’ve got our minds back thanks to him. I don’t know this Bones guy, so he may be a shitbag, but we owe Captain Jones super big for this second chance at life.”

                Sanji thought about snapping or attacking Yonji for a second and then nodded, “Alright, we’ve got two people with batshit crazy power taking a huge interest in us for some reason.”

                Niji shrugged, “Maybe the bad luck fairy woke up and realized she owed Dad twenty years of bad luck?”

                “Didn’t he order all the mirrors in Germa smashed and thrown into the sea like two months ago after he found out that Big Mom’s daughter can move and spy through them?” Yonji mused.

                “If he caught seven years of bad luck for every mirror broken by his command, then his tortured ghost will haunt the seas for ten thousand years,” Ichiji declared with a perfectly straight face in a monotone of complete seriousness.

                All three of his brothers looked at him in confusion and then as one started cackling. “IT COULDN’T HAPPEN TO A MORE DESERVING GUY!” Sanji laughed as for the first time he could remember his brothers laughed with him instead of at him.

…

…6:13 PM…

…

                Badipadipadip! Badipadipadip! I picked up the snail mic grinning from ear to ear, “Go for Bones.”

                The snail grew a top hat, blonde hair and a scar, “Hey Bones, it’s Sabo. Ah something really weird just happened in Loguetown, do you know anything about it?”

                I sat back with that big smile still on my face, “Hmm, are you and Koala in Loguetown right now?”

                “Yeah, how else would I know something weird just hap…” Sabo trailed off as he realized I very much knew something, “…oh shit what’s coming?”

                “Not so much a what as a who,” I replied airily, “Have you got eyes on that baby brother of yours? He made one hell of an enemy in Orange Town. I don’t know what happened, but Buggy the Clown appears to have gotten deadly serious. If your Observation isn’t going crazy telling you to grab him and his crew and get out of Loguetown as fast as you can… then you probably still ought to be running. I learned something interesting today, Observation doesn’t account for intelligence. A very smart and well prepared opponent can still show up as a weakling, and even a weakling can best a beast if they’re smart about it.”

                “Who the hell’s Buggy the Clown?” Sabo asked with a note of panic in his voice.

                “You might get a better assessment of his threat level from the name of the man who raised him,” I replied with a smile, “Ever hear of Gold Roger?”

                Sabo looked horrified for a moment and then he shouted, “YOU LET LUFFY WALK INTO A TOWN WITH A PISSED OFF ROGER PIRATE IN IT?!”

                “To be fair, the future I saw featured a significantly less formidable Buggy than the one I met since the last time we talked,” I shrugged, “And I am warning you now: Find your brother and his crew and get them out of Loguetown as quick as you can. Even the goofball version of Buggy came within a literal inch of lopping Strawhat’s head off. You don’t want to find out what this version’s capable of, and as much of a grudge as I’m packing, there’s still a lot of stuff Strawhat needs to be alive to take care of. I could do those things myself, but I’d rather leave them to Strawhat.”

                “And what kind of things are those?” Sabo ground out, clearly still furious.

                “Don’t worry about it,” I replied nonchalantly, “Worry about finding him before Buggy does.”

                “I can’t believe you’d leave Luffy to die over a misunderstanding!” Sabo snapped.

                I raised an eyebrow, “Misunderstanding?”

                Sabo opened his mouth and then remembered, “Oh right, haven’t talked to you since we found out. Nami teased Luffy about joining your crew instead since you’re the one that killed Arlong and Luffy thought she was telling him you were an enemy. That’s why he tried to get rid of you.”

                I’ve been told my expression was quite a one to behold, “And that excuses trying to kill me and spitting on my help how exactly? The reason is moot. You have just confirmed that he was trying to kill me. I’m only warning you about Buggy because you and Koala are still my friends. Were it anyone else? I’d have killed them on the spot for what he pulled!”

                Sabo started to protest but Koala took the mic away from him before he could get any further riled up, “Bones, it’s Koala. Do you have any idea what Buggy’s planning?”

                “The flashiest execution possible,” I replied simply after a moment, “In the future I saw, Buggy gave Strawhat a chance to follow in Roger’s footsteps… specifically his LAST footsteps, and it took a literal miracle to save him. I’ve heard it speculated that Dragon’s got some kind of weather based powers, if he’s in town, he might want to go stake out Execution Plaza.”

                Koala nodded, “Thank you. Can I get any more information? Please? Friends don’t leave friends in the dark.”

                I’m told I made quite a face in response to Koala’s puppy eyes being mimicked by the Snail, “I don’t know what unbearably cute face you’re making, but it looks utterly obscene on this poor snail. Since I like you two, I’ll give two more warnings: First off, Buggy is a MASTER chemist able to create bombs capable of flattening multiple city blocks and he can fire that kind of destruction out of a cannon that just obliterates everything in the direction he points it. I don’t THINK he’d level Loguetown out of respect for Roger, but bombs the size of marbles that explode as well as cannonballs ARE something in his arsenal and I wouldn’t be surprised if he's outfitted his crew with ammo based off that formula. I don’t know if it’ll create vastly supersonic rounds or wave-motion guns, but either way, expect him and his crew to be working with a world class armory.”

                “That’s terrifying but very good to know,” Koala admitted, “What’s the other one?”

                “Buggy doesn’t give two shits about killing honorably,” I declared, “He cares about winning, and he’ll do anything he can to win. Expect the dirtiest tricks and DO NOT turn your back on him unless you want a knife buried in it.”

                “I see,” Koala noted, “Thank you Bones, I know you don’t want to help Luffy so we really appreciate you giving us this information anyway.”

                I nodded, “Try to keep that moron alive for at least a bit longer will you? There’s a few million lives riding on him and I don’t feel like trying to bust my hump to squeeze saving that particular country myself into my rather packed schedule if I can avoid it. I might be persuaded if the right person asks, but if I don’t meet that person, then I’m not doing it out of the goodness of my heart.”

                “I… don’t suppose you’d tell us which country that is would you?” Koala asked warily.

                “Indeed I would not!” I replied cheerfully, “It might not even come up, depends on who runs into who! Lots of moving parts and I’m playing life like a thousand cup shell game with fifty different rocks right now. If it looks like nobody’s going to be able to step in in time, then I’ll call either you guys or the Navy, see who can be a hero when the usual suspect’s out of the running.”

                “The usual suspect?” Koala asked in confusion.

                “Strawhat,” I clarified, “Say what we will about him, the kid almost always manages to pull through. Almost.”

                Koala took a breath and nodded, “I see, thank you Bones. We’ll do our best. Koala out.”

                “Good lu…” KA-LICK! I raised an eyebrow as Koala hung up. Then I shrugged and set the Snail Mic back on its holder before looking over at Yama-chan, “Tomorrow morning’s paper ought to be interesting.”

                “Do you think Buggy’ll go after Reiju?” Yama-chan asked with a note of genuine concern in her voice.

                I snorted, “Even if he did, I don’t think Buggy has anything capable of actually hurting Reiju. Besides, Sabo and Koala are there, as is Smoker, and given that Strawhat doesn’t have a bounty and was confirmed in the paper the other day to be Garp’s grandson, Smoker will protect him and his crew just like any other civilians from a pirate. You look concerned Gin.”

                Gin took a drink, “I was there when Luffy tried to kill you. I fully understand your grudge and honestly if I didn’t like and owe those kids myself, I’d say you were being too kind to them. That said Captain,” he set the bottle on the table with a thunk, “I do like and owe those kids.”

                “As well you should,” I replied, “They’ll be joining us one day not too far off.”

                “I… remember you declaring that to be your intent,” Gin declared, “I’m still worried about them though. Even as strong as Miss Reiju’s gun is and as formidable as Roronoa Zoro and Mr. Sabo and Miss Koala are, sir…” Gin shook his head slightly, “If Buggy the Clown truly IS a former Roger Pirate as you say? Sir, I don’t think there’s any weapon in the world strong enough to tip those scales back in their favor.”

                I nodded, “Your concern is a valid one, however the gun I left her is NOT Reiju’s strongest weapon. She herself is a weapon strengthened by the finest of the Germa 66’s science. She could go toe to toe with ME if she felt like it. Probably not Yama-chan, but the only one on Buggy’s crew that could fight her, even with a hundred to one advantage, is Buggy himself, and I expect Strawhat to have Buggy’s full attention. If things are as I expect them to be, then Buggy’s hatred is focused solely on Strawhat, he cares nothing about the rest of the crew.”

                “Have things been as you expected so far?” Gin asked tentatively.

                “With the exception of things Reiju or I made go differently yes, to the letter,” I replied, “Although Buggy having gotten serious was quite the unexpected twist, I’m still going to place a fair bit of faith in our future crew mates.”

                “Very well sir,” Gin exhaled after a moment, “I’ll trust your judgment.”

                “Thank you Gin,” I smiled, “And please, never hesitate to bring questions like this forward. A second opinion can often bring to light information potentially missed.”

                Gin blinked at me rather owlishly and then nodded with a smile, “Aye Captain. Thank you.”

                Alvida looked over her shoulder from where she and Maria were cooking something that smelled delicious in our ship’s new galley, “I’m a little lost, what’s the story between Captain and Luffy?”

                “Long story short Captain went way the hell out of his way to help Strawhat out with crazy good intel, reunited him with his long lost brother and literally ran halfway across the East Blue to back Strawhat up for a major fight, and Strawhat tried to kill him in his sleep at the very first opportunity,” Ulti replied.

                “It’s… it’s a little more complicated than that,” Gin interjected.

                Ulti nodded, “It is, but that doesn’t make it any more forgivable.”

                “That’s… not wrong but…” Gin tried to protest although he was clearly having a hard time.

                Maria smiled over her shoulder at him, “It’s really cute that you’re trying to stick up for your friends Gin! Don’t worry, Captain knows it’s complicated.”

                Alvida raised an eyebrow, “Complicated how? Sounds pretty cut and dried to me.”

                Page looked over his shoulder from the wheel, “Basically what I’ve understood is that Strawhat’s an idiot and thought his navigator was seriously considering jumping ship. From the sound of what that guy on the snail said just now though, it sounds like he may have thought he was getting some kind of signal that Captain was a dangerous enemy and tried to get rid of him.”

                “Either way, Strawhat tried to pitch Captain into the sea after the Captain passed out from exhaustion having just crossed half the East Blue in a day and singlehandedly slaughtering Arlong the Saw and his entire crew,” Jango finished, “As you can imagine, Cap was pissed, broke Strawhat’s jaw and declared that we’ll be taking Strawhat’s crew by Davy Back Fight in the Grand Line and turning him into a funny little footnote in the history books.”

                Alvida nodded as she turned back to the food, “Okay, now that bit of help makes sense. Captain wants Luffy alive to crush him personally later and his crew’s no good to us dead. Makes sense.”

                Yama-chan and Kuina both looked slightly uncomfortable so I clarified, “Also, while I may have a significant grudge against Strawhat himself, Strawhat’s got three mitigating factors protecting him. First off, I still count both his brothers as very good friends, and both of them are very powerful and well connected. I’d lose whatever good standing I have with them if I didn’t offer at least some help. Second, Kuina’s boyfriend Zoro is his first mate. So obviously, we can’t have him leading their crew into a total wipeout. Thirdly, as I told Sabo, there are still things I need Strawhat to do, else I’ll have to do them myself, and with my standing promise to Kuina regarding her upcoming surgery, I can’t easily do those things in the time required. Doable? Maybe, but I think it will be better to have Strawhat still on the board.”

                 “Four,” Kuina declared quietly as she tapped Oathkeeper on her shoulder, the charcoal gray and forest green sheathe of the world’s 13^th Supreme Grade sword bouncing lightly on her white gi top and the fabric of her wheelchair’s back. We all looked at her and she gave me a look like she could see straight through me, “I’ve suspected it for a while now, but after hearing all that, I’m certain. You won’t say his name because it’s still the name of someone you deeply respected. You’re calling him ‘Strawhat’ to separate the man you respected from the fool that betrayed you.”

                I’ll admit, I flinched at being called out like that. I closed my eyes and exhaled, fully aware that everyone was looking at me in surprise before admitting, “You’re not wrong. I had a mountain of respect for that idiot. I wouldn’t have helped him otherwise.”

                “Is that due to something he’s done so far, or something in the future you saw?” Kuina asked thoughtfully.

                “Future,” I replied simply, “Worst bit is that he’s still as far as I can tell the exact same miraculous heroic moron I saw in that potential future.”

                “What did he do that was so great?” Ulti asked with a hint of irritation.

                “Burned Enies Lobby to the ground for one,” I replied with a shrug, “He won’t get to this time since I intend to beat him to it.” I took a drink as everyone stared at me in jaw dropped shock.

                Gin leaned over and asked Jango, “Jango, are we sure this guy’s sane?”

                “Stick around him for a week, you’ll believe it,” Jango added in quietly reverent awe.

                Before I could reply, Yama-chan poked my hat off my head. I caught it before it could hit the floor with Relative Position Lock and then flipped it up onto the table with a Life Return enabled twitch of a beard hair. I looked over at her questioningly, “Too much Mastermind Mode?”

                Her answer was to lower her hand to my collar and drag me over into a kiss. “I’m still getting used to it,” she admitted when we came up for air, “Can I have my happy-go-lucky boyfriend back for a few minutes? This is supposed to be a welcome party isn’t it? Shouldn’t we be… I don’t know, getting to know each other?”

                I exhaled and nodded with a smile, “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m still getting the hang of balancing my serious and fun sides.”

                Yamato smiled and then that smile turned into a grin as she tugged my face into her boobs and held me there with both hands. A less in love man might’ve flailed at the impromptu Marshmallow Hell Heaven. I gleefully hugged her and enjoyed as she explained, “For anyone who didn’t get it, he’s not heartless. I’m just holding onto it for safekeeping.”

                I gave a thumbs up with a grin and then focused on enjoying until she decided to let go.

…

…6:23 PM…

…

                Reiju strolled out of the hotel, feeling very light despite how wobbly her legs felt. She was sore in a way that didn’t hurt and instead just made her feel like skipping a bit. This wasn’t that butterflies in her stomach thing she had talked about with Nojiko, this was… something much, MUCH better. Every bit of her felt warm and nice and she couldn’t stop smiling. It wasn’t even one of her normal smiles that had a purpose, this smile just… slid onto her face for no reason at all and even when she noticed it she couldn’t be bothered. It felt… right. Why wouldn’t she smile when was happy?

                Then Reiju pulled up short as it hit her, I’m happy.

                Her hands came up to cover her mouth as tears of excitement and joy started leaking, I’m really happy!

                People who didn’t know her or what was going on thought she was crazy, standing there laughing and crying in the middle of the street with her hair all disheveled.

                Those same people panicked and fled as a moment later a cannon went off down the street. Reiju turned reflexively, eyes widening from twenty years of military training, just in time to catch the cannonball with the side of her face. The Germa modifications to her body kept it from decapitating her on the spot, but it still knocked her flying and left her unconscious before she hit the ground. Before anyone could realize what was happening, men in hooded ponchos grabbed her and dragged her into an alley, disappearing into the shadows as their comrades wheeled the cannon away at such incredible speeds it almost looked like they were flying.

                By the time Captain Smoker arrived two minutes later, there was no sign that Reiju or the hooded men had ever been there.

…

…6:30 PM…

…

                Former Sergeant Major Tashigi cursed as she searched for her glasses, trying to ignore the searing pain in the shoulder of her sword arm and the throbbing in the side of her face that was probably already starting to bruise. Both were the result of two men with clubs and ponchos attacking her after a blinding light and loud noise flooded the street in front of her. Had they been after her, there would’ve been nothing she could do as the attack had been timed perfectly with whatever that flash was.

                Great, just great! She thought angrily as she patted and crawled across the pavement of the empty street, I finally meet a REAL swordsman, who’s a total hunk, and he agrees to train me… AT HIS GIRLFRIEND’S URGING… because she doesn’t want him to fall behind in their rivalry! And she looks like me! Except prettier! And she doesn’t need glasses like a four eyed weakling! And then… to top it ALL OFF… as soon as she’s gone…

                She found her glasses and snatched them back towards her face only to find them bent and one of the lenses was broken. …my new sensei gets jumped and kidnapped!

                She sheathed her sword and pushed the broken glass out of the left side of her glasses before bending them back into something close enough to their proper shape, I do NOT need broken glass in my eye. At least it feels like nothing’s broken except the glass… Keeping her left eye closed, she looked around to see if she could spot any sign of where the pirates had dragged her new sensei off to, then she noticed a piece of paper on the ground. She scooped it up and after quickly reading it, her eyes both went wide, Oh shit! OH! SHIT! Ohshitohshitohshit!

                She took off at a dead sprint, cursing that she’d had to turn in her Navy issued baby Transponder Snail when Captain Smoker discharged her. There was no time to get to the base and round up the troops, assuming they’d even listen to her now.

                This wasn’t just a kidnapping. It was a hostage situation.

…

…6:45 PM in Loguetown, 6:45 AM Marineford…

…

                Lieutenant Brannew of the Bounty Office picked up his Snail Mic as he found it ringing upon entering his office, “Bounty Office.”

                “Brannew, it’s Smoker,” the Transponder Snail barked as it grew white hair and somehow a pair of cigars.

                “Captain Smoker, it’s been a while,” Brannew mused, “I take it you have news?”

                “All of Loguetown just got… I’m not sure what happened, but nobody moved or realized time was passing for nine hours. My whole ship got cleaned out of all supplies and weapons, and the only clue we have is a signed wanted poster of Buggy the Clown and a bunch of circus tickets and immature pranks!” Smoker ranted.

                Brannew’s eyes went wide as pieces clicked into horrifying place, “Wait, did you just say all of Loguetown got shoved forward in time by nine hours?!”

                Smoker thought about it for a second, “Yeah that sums it up. Why? Do you know what Devil Fruit did this?”

                “Yes I do, and Buggy the Clown is about to have one of the biggest bounty jumps in history,” Brannew declared as he snatched open his file cabinet for Pirates whose names started with ‘B’, rifled through the posters at lightning speed, scooped up the Snail in his other hand and started running towards Fleet Admiral Sengoku’s office, “That power belongs to the Toki-toki no mi, the Time-time fruit! The Whitebeards used to use it to be effectively uncatchable because they could postpone the existence of entire fleets for a day, a week, a month one time. The fruit belonged to the wife of their former Second Division Commander Kozuki Oden, both she and he were reported killed by Kaido following their retirement nearly twenty years ago during his takeover of Wano.

                “That fruit’s been a maximum priority target for retrieval ever since we learned it was back in circulation!” Brannew explained, “It’s as dangerous as any Logia and one of the greatest logistical assets any organization could ask for! It can set up any ambush, clear any obstacle and make possible any escape that doesn’t involve Seastone! And that’s just what we KNOW it can do! The previous user never actually fought for the Whitebeards, she just made them untouchable! We have no idea what it can do in combat!”

                “Shit…” Smoker bit out, “That makes a lot of sense. So I need to prioritize Buggy’s capture at once.”

                “If you can catch him, you’ll be doing something even the current Admirals couldn’t when the Whitebeards were using that fruit,” Brannew replied, “I can’t give you orders, but give me just a moment…” He held the Snail Mic in two fingers, “Fleet Admiral sir, urgent report from the East Blue.”

                Sengoku, Tsuru, Garp, Zephyr and Ain all looked up from Sengoku’s copy of the Devil Fruit Encyclopedia. Sengoku nodded, “Very well, go ahead.”

                “I have Captain Smoker in Loguetown on the line currently,” Brannew explained, “He has just reported an incident that points squarely to Buggy the Clown,” he showed Buggy’s wanted poster, “Having obtained the Toki-toki no mi.”

                Sengoku, Zephyr and Tsuru went pale as Sengoku nodded, slid the list and Devil Fruit Encyclopedia aside, “Captain. Explain.”

                “I was walking down the street on my morning patrol when suddenly every shadow on the street and the position of the sun changed from 8 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon,” Smoker explained, “A few moments later my midshipman called me in a panic because all the weapons and supplies on my ship had been stolen. Cannons, guns, ammo, swords, rations, charts, poses, everything. All they left was the sails, rigging, uniforms and the men themselves. My men found a signed wanted poster of Buggy the Clown, a pile of circus tickets and a variety of immature pranks. We’re currently focusing on pulling our reserve rations and weapons from the base so that we can give pursuit, but they’re probably long gone by now.”

                Brannew handed the wanted poster to Garp as Garp came over and looked at it thoughtfully. Garp was quiet for a moment, everyone in the room watching him with baited breath. Any time Garp looked thoughtful, something BAD was about to come out of his mouth. Then Garp nodded, “Yep, that is him.” Garp looked at Sengoku, “That’s Roger’s other apprentice.”

                Sengoku shot to his feet, “WHAT?!”

                Garp pointed at the poster, “You ever seen anyone else with a nose like that? He’s older now, but there’s no mistaking it. That’s the kid that was always running around with Red Haired Shanks when they were sailing with Roger.”

                Sengoku exhaled and then looked at Ain, “Vice Admiral, can you get Captain Smoker enough supplies to replenish what was stolen and Zephyr…”

                Zephyr nodded, “Our Task Force is specially designated for pursuing and taking down dangerous Devil Fruit users, hard to get more dangerous than that one. I’d like to send Ain to pursue as her Return-return power’s location return can counter the Toki-toki no mi’s ability to escape if she can get close enough to Buggy once. I will take the rest of the Task Force and reinforce Akainu at Reverse Mountain from a distance so that if Buggy shoves them into the future we can still pursue and potentially ambush him. If we can destroy Buggy’s ship quickly enough, then we may be able to stop him.”

                “My ship is still in drydock,” Ain pointed out, “But my men and I are completely willing to pursue, and we can certainly get to Loguetown quickly. May I request Captain Smoker join me in pursuit of Buggy? As I recall he’s quite good at capture operations.”

                Sengoku nodded, “Granted, while you are procuring the supplies and readying your troops for deployment, I will select a replacement for Captain Smoker to keep an eye on Loguetown.”

                “I’m going too,” Garp declared seriously, “Luffy should have arrived at Loguetown today, and if Buggy’s the sort to carry a grudge, then he may make an attempt on Luffy’s life given the way he and Princess Vinsmoke kicked the Clown’s ass in Orange Town a few weeks ago.”

                Sengoku was far from the only one to look at Garp in surprise but he nodded, “Very well. If Buggy’s as dangerous as Red Haired Shanks and just been keeping his head down in the East Blue, then your strength will be needed.”

                Smoker’s jaw had dropped so far that his cigars actually fell out of his mouth, then he grinned, “Yes sir! We’ll be looking forward to your arrival!”

                “See if you can find my idiot grandson,” Garp replied, “He’s strong but he’s also recently lost his own Devil Fruit powers during a run-in with Whitebeard Jr, so he may need a little back up.”

                “Lost his Devil Fruit powers?” Smoker asked, alarm bells clearly ringing in his head.

                “That’s what it looks like,” Garp declared, “Says he hasn’t been able to use them since that run-in. We’ve been trying to figure out what power Whitebeard Jr. has which could theoretically have stopped Luffy from using his abilities.”

                Then Zephyr spoke up, “Hold on, the Toki-toki no mi’s ability is to send things forward in time, effectively removing them from existence until they reappear. Garp, you said your grandson’s ability is just… gone? Like it doesn’t exist anymore? What if Buggy somehow used it on Luffy’s powers remotely? You said he has a grudge. We never confirmed what all the Toki-toki no mi can or can’t do and it’s not listed in the Devil Fruit Encyclopedia so all we have to go on is our own peoples’ reports. We know the previous user didn’t have to make contact with her targets, and we don’t know the range.”

                Garp thought about it, “That is something to consider, but if it can do that, then how was Kaido able to kill her and her husb… well I suppose Haki explains that. That horned brat’s never lacked for Haki. Hmm. Well, either way, that’s just more reason for me to go.”

                Ain frowned thoughtfully, “I don’t think we should discount the possibility that Bones could’ve been responsible and framed Buggy to throw us off the scent of his own power.”

                Everyone looked at her and she held up a finger, “The only things we’re reasonably sure that Bones has done with his Devil Fruit are to stop water from falling back into place, and stop Vice-Admiral Garp’s grandson from using his Devil Fruit powers to shrug off the effects of a blow although that second one is credibly questionable given the new evidence. Both of those things involve stopping something else, if Bones does have the power of something like a Stop-stop Fruit, then that could theoretically be applied to time in a localized area. He IS smart enough to come up with something like that, and we know he was at least at one point planning to visit Loguetown, although that was before his quarrel with Vice-Admiral Garp’s grandson and the confirmation that Vice-Admiral Garp’s grandson has become a bounty hunter rather than a pirate.”

                “How do we not know what his Devil Fruit is?” Smoker asked, “Most people with Abilities don’t hesitate to boast about them for the fear factor.”

                “Whitebeard Jr. appears to be far from ordinary. Despite having been confirmed to not be a member of any Emperor’s crew and having only entered the scene a few weeks ago, he acts like a New World veteran in many respects,” Tsuru declared, “He’s keeping his abilities secret, and he’s trained his crew to keep quiet as well. We nearly learned what his power was a few days ago while he was apparently drunk, but it sounded like his partner World Tour tackled him and got the mic away from him until he could sober up.”

                Smoker’s eyes widened suddenly, “Hey kid! Are you related to Monkey D. Garp?! …Ok, I’m on the Snail with him right now. We just got word that Buggy the Clown is possibly somewhere in LOOK OUT!” An explosion roared across the Snail Mic and the line went dead.

                Garp went as pale as his hair, “AIN GET US TO LOGUETOWN!”

                “Right!”

…

…A Flash of Pink Light Later…

…

                The sun was sinking in Loguetown as Garp and Ain appeared in a flash of pink light an instant later, and the street was in ruins.

                Smoker was picking himself up off the pavement, badly scorched and with his nose and lip starting to bleed. He wiped the blood from his chin with a furious expression, “What the hell was that?!”

                “Buggy Ball,” Luffy declared grimly as he picked himself up, looking around warily. He was dirty but not hurt beyond a few scrapes as Smoker had taken the brunt of the blast to protect him, “Buggy had cannonballs that could totally wreck lots of buildings in one shot when we fought him in Orange Town. Oh shit!” he started to shrink away in terror as he noticed Garp, but he recovered quickly, “Hi Grandpa, I’m not a pirate! So don’t beat me up!”

                Ain and Smoker looked from Luffy to Garp in confusion, only to find Garp not paying attention. They found out why a second later when Garp snatched another explosive round out of the air and hurled it skyward. “These punks are playing hit and run,” Garp growled as the round they’d later learn to be called a Muggy Ball exploded harmlessly far overhead.

                “Yeah, and they’re all really good at dodging and working together,” Luffy confirmed as he looked around warily, “If Reiju hadn’t been able to make poison gas to make them dizzy, we wouldn’t have beaten them in Orange Town.”

                Smoker grinned viciously, “Sounds like they haven’t got any defense against me then,” smoke started to billow out from him, “WHITE OUT!!!”

                In an instant, visibility was gone as Smoker’s choking white smoke flooded the entire town like an avalanche racing through the streets. A few minutes later, Smoker rematerialized, a horrified look on his face, “They’re gone.”

                “Gone?” Ain asked warily.

                “I just checked every face in Loguetown,” Smoker verified, “They’re not here.”

                Garp’s hand snapped out and snatched Luffy back as something shot past with a sound like a kazoo the size of a cannon, “Shit, he’s making his grunts move faster! They must’ve run out of town and then back in! That or he moved them ahead a few minutes to dodge Smoker’s sweep. That’s why I couldn’t spot the one that shot at you!”

                Then Ain noticed something, “Hey, what’s this?” She knelt and picked up a piece of paper, quickly scanning it and then going pale as thunder cracked overhead, “He has your friends.” She turned it around and Luffy, Garp and Smoker all gathered in close to look.

.

---

THE FINAL SHOW OF THE STRAWHATS!

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GREAT BUGGY THE CLOWN!

Across Loguetown tonight will be four special shows!

7:30 PM: Lion Act with Mohji, Ritchie and Nami!

8:00 PM: Knife Throwing with Cabaji and Zoro!

8:30 PM: The Incredible Taffy Pullers with Reiju!

9:00 PM: GRAND FINALE AT EXECUTION PLAZA!

---

.
                Every ‘show’ had an address and left far too little to the imagination about what the so called ‘shows’ were going to be. Smoker pointed to the first address as the clock at Execution Plaza struck the first of seven long deep tolls to let everyone know it was 7:00, “I know where that is! Come on, we have to hurry!”