Chapter Text
Morning dew coats the grass of the cemetery and the rising sun glows orange through the trees. It’s a colder morning but when she’s at the graves she feels nothing of it, as if the world is on pause and nobody is dying elsewhere. The peace of a silent graveyard is incomparable to any kind of quiet she knows. It beats reading a good book on the porch as the sun sets and it even beats a morning walk on the beach when the ocean is still sleeping, no tides or angry crashing shores. The peace and serenity of being surrounded by those who have passed on bring perspective to her. She’s able to see what lies ahead, even if her path isn’t quite written yet, eventually she’ll be right here. Her name will be beautifully engraved on her very own tombstone and those who pass by will know she was alive once too. A person who lived a life and loved, just like them. The idea of being forgotten haunts her, but the idea of not existing terrifies her. This is the thought that brings her back, day in day out. Simply knowing she must not show fear for the inevitable.
The graves are full of energy. It seeps into her bones much like the breeze that flows in from the nearby water. Prince Hill is quiet today and she is drawn to a certain row. The one she meant to visit her last time here but then torrential rain started pouring and she had to cut her visit short. She really does try her utmost to stop at every single last grave and talk to each person who lay there. After all, it’s the least she could do when they’re the ones keeping Costia company when Lexa should be. Graveyards provide her with the anguish she deserves to remember and feel for all eternity.
A smaller tombstone and even smaller footstone catch her eye as she proceeds down the row, nodding her thanks to each passed soul. ‘Cole Griffin, beloved son. 1950-1968.’ Her heart thuds in her chest as she kneels at his grave. He left this earth right at her age. 18 short years, a life gone far too soon. She wonders if he was sick, or maybe he was in the service and gave his life for our country, she thought. What a shame if so; dying for those who can’t be bothered to keep up on the wilted roses that once lined his grave. Her first stone will go to Cole, she decides, a pink rose quartz. Her gem bag is light today, only carrying 5 stones. Sometimes she never leaves any for anyone, but for Cole she will. He deserves to be protected once more. One last thanks and a kiss to his gem as she lays it on, then continues through the row.
She couldn’t help but notice each grave was a Griffin. The furthest dated back over 225 years at 1790. The grave was slate, like they usually were back then. The letters of the epitaph hardly legible, so she simply left her thanks. By the end of the row she’d counted up to ten Griffins. Her stomach dropped as she approached a brand new, glossy black, arched tombstone. It read ‘Jake Griffin. Father, Husband, Friend. Gone too soon but Never Forgotten. 1969-2015.” Now her heart dropped too. He left this year, leaving behind a family days ago. Maybe months but she isn’t sure. It’s halfway through the year which gives him about 6 months to have departed during. She smiled at a picture lain against it. It was fairly new, laminated even to keep the rain from wrecking the art. The view of a lake surrounded by flowers of all kinds and a mountain top that disappeared into the sky. Beautiful, she thought. “You’re very loved Mr. Griffin. Someone misses you very much. I hope you’re at peace.” Lexa ended, reaching for a second stone. She places a gentle kiss to it and rests it on the grave before turning away.
“What are you doing?” A voice interrupts her silence and train of thought. It was edgy but curious and she had no doubt this must be a Griffin, thankfully a living one but she hoped still to avoid confrontation over her weird ritual. Slowly backing away she avoids looking at the source as she replies in a kind, yet flat tone.
“Paying respect is all. I’ll go.” She made it a few steps into the brittle, decaying leaves before the voice spoke again.
“What’s this?” Lexa didn’t have to turn around to know they meant the blood orange rock she’d just left.
“It’s called a Jasper gem. It’s a healing stone, full of grounding energy. It will connect one to the vibrations of the earth and bring a greater understanding of nature.” She paused, waiting for a reaction or maybe an angry retort but continued when none came. “It symbolizes the blood of our planet, making it sacred. I hope that’s okay.” And she kept walking down the row, never turning back.
Prince Hill still waits for her when she makes it back the following weekend. She had a busy week, in between working at The Bread Bakery nearby, studying for the classes she attends at Polis University and visiting her mother at a nursing home a few hours away each day. The energy is light today and she has a skip in her step as she makes it down the rows. Costia is always her first stop and she smiles as she nears her girlfriend. “Cos!” She shouts excitedly and sits down on the grave, leaning back. Lexa zones out and hums their favorite tune, paying no mind to her surroundings. If she had been, she would have noticed the figure in the distance watching her. A while goes by before she says goodbye and kisses the Rainbow Jasper stone already sitting there, she leaves all her love with Costia and moves on to greet others.
The next time she’s going to see Costia she sees a piece of white paper lain against her. As she approached Lexa was careful to look around for anyone before kneeling to pick up the sheet. It was another laminated drawing. This time it was of a large oak tree, so tall and grand looking as it’s leaves reach for the sky. At the base are two people, girls, sat back to back and a few music notes surrounded them. Her eyes began watering because she knew what this represented. Her and Costia. How could someone draw something so perfect for them? It was exactly what Costia would have loved and just what Lexa does love. The colors of the picture were simple but the meaning was so much. She hugged the paper to her chest as tears started streaming down her face. Anyone who saw her may think she’s grief stricken but the feeling Lexa had was just the opposite.
Happiness bubbled inside her and she took off at a sprint to go the grave of Jake Griffin, knowing exactly who left this for her. She got closer and saw her Jasper rock still stood, as well the original drawing of the lake and now a new one. Not picking it up, she looked over the beautifully drawn rose, dripping with blood and tears but above the flower in neat script was ‘for you, dad’ and Lexa couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at her lips. She reached into her pocket and produced an Amber stone. For protection and healing, it felt right. A nod of thanks in his direction and she made her way through the cemetery once more.
Life catches up with her the next few weeks, keeping her so busy she only has time to walk by the graveyard on her way to the bakery. Nonetheless she sends her thanks to the sky for all who lay there when she passes by. It was early morning on a Monday when she walks by again, already well on her way to being late for work. Her Sunday night was full of emotions, dragging her into the late of night. She cried heavily over Costia when she came across a photo of them together, just after they decided to begin dating. Costia was holding Lexa from behind and had her face buried in her neck while Lexa had arms wrapped behind and around the girl too and a happy smile on her face. The best decision she ever did make but it didn’t hurt any less to have it around as a reminder. Lexa makes a quick choice to jump over the stone wall and head to Costia’s grave to leave the picture frame. A real smile graces her lips as she sees another new drawing left for them.
Her watch read 7:20 a.m. and she had only ten minutes to get to work before Indra possibly fired her but she couldn’t help to take in the picture. It was just a single figure now, with long flowing hair much like hers and they stared at the sky. The clouds above her were fluffy and full, the sky bright blue and an angel stared down at her. Lexa couldn’t help the tears that threatened to spill once more, but she swallowed them down and left her thanks for the artist. A kiss blown towards Costia and she’s on her way. She gets to work at 7:31 a.m. and can’t help but thank the heavens for Indra not caring.
Pouring rain welcomes the day of Saturday when she arrives again, prepared with a beanie and a sleek black umbrella. The first thing she does now besides heading straight to Costia’s grave is look for anyone else. Ever since the first drawing Lexa found herself hoping to run into the Griffin family member once more to say thanks. Not just thanks for the drawings, but she wanted to thank them for making her happy when she visits. She has been smiling more lately when she thinks about the person who took their time to draw things that meant so much to her. Lexa knows it’s simply because she left gifts for their loved one too but she can’t help the feeling of contentness that washes over her every time she comes now. It’s given her another reason to want to visit and she’s thankful for that.
The rain is heavy and cold, in turn making the sky dark grey and the grass muddier with every step. This weather would usually make her stay inside and drink hot chocolate all day as she snuggled with a soft blanket watching Netflix, but she feels the need to be here. She can’t leave Costia out in the rain all alone, what kind of girlfriend would she be? As she sits down on her grave, to avoid sitting in mud, she hopes Cos doesn’t mind that she’s otherwise distracted. Her humming is all she hears besides the rain spattering off her umbrella.
Lexa checks her phone and sees she’s been here for over an hour, the chill is starting to sink deeper and she begins to stand for her goodbyes. When she’s leaving and headed back to the stone wall to head home, she sees a figure in the Griffin row. Her heart froze and she stopped in her tracks. She could keep going home and pretend this didn’t happen, or maybe she could finally say thanks to them. Unsure if it was even the right Griffin who’d stopped her last time, she made her way towards them. The rain was loud and the wind rustled the wet, dead leaves so her steps were silent. The figure was a girl, wearing a long, black trench pea coat over dark denims and muddy shoes. The girl wore a maroon beanie over wavy, beautiful blonde hair and Lexa wondered again if it’d be best to just leave.
Surely this girl could tell it was raining before she left, yet she had no umbrella and the closer Lexa got she could see how soaked she was. Lexa made a decision and stepped closer, using her own umbrella to cover the both of them as she took the last step next to the slightly shorter girl. A few seconds went by before the blonde seemed to notice she was no longer being rained on and she turned her head slowly to meet Lexa’s eyes.
In that moment, time froze. Pale, icy blue eyes stared into her soul and Lexa couldn’t help but gasp inaudibly at the beauty of them. They were so deep and expressive, yet sad and empty. She could see the life that once glowed behind them, probably lighting fire to everything in her path due to the pure intensity. Lexa swallowed as she thought about what they must look like when she smiles. This girl was overwhelmingly beautiful and Lexa wished she had just left instead. Rather than being rude she came back to the moment, nodding to the girl simply and giving her the smallest of smiles.
The blonde continued staring as Lexa glanced to Jake’s grave, seeing a new picture next to the others. It was a man holding a little girl up, blonde hair of course, and they both had smiles on their faces. It made her smile bigger and she looked back to the girl, who was still studying her own face. “You’re a great artist.” Lexa said quietly, looking into the blue eyes. Finally the girl looked away, back to her drawing and she swallowed thickly before answering.
“I appreciate that.” The blonde looked back to her and Lexa saw a tear slip from her eye but didn’t comment. “I hope you liked yours.” She faced Lexa now, stepping into her bubble by an inch and mirrored Lexa’s small smile.
“More than I can describe. They are perfect.” The girl nodded and seemed to even blush as a tiny pink tint made its way to her pale cheeks. Lexa smiled a little bigger at her beauty, she couldn’t even believe she was still holding a conversation with someone like her. “Are you cold?” Wow, she thought immediately. Obviously she’s cold, it’s raining and there’s a breeze. The girl seemed to sense her internal conflict because she smiled again.
“Freezing. You?” She giggled and Lexa’s heart soared at the sound. It was so innocent and light, the opposite of their moment here. She laughed quietly in return, taking one step the smallest bit closer.
“Yes, freezing. I’ve been here for an hour now and the rain doesn’t seem like it’ll be letting up today. I should probably get home so I can do nothing and watch Netflix.” Lexa admitted, albeit shyly but with the intention of a joke. The blonde’s smile stretched wider and she shook her head as she huffed a laugh.
“Probably. I guess I should too because those are my plans for the day as well.” Lexa’s eyebrow lifted before she could stop it and an idea formed in her mind. She took a few seconds to control her nerves before asking.
“Well, maybe we could watch Netflix together? Drink hot chocolate? If you’re down of course. I mean, meeting in a graveyard isn’t exactly the best start to knowing someone but Netflix always is.” She tried for a smile, but failed as her heart started pumping too fast and her stomach dropped. There’s no way in hell a girl like her would hang out with Lexa. I’m such an idiot, she thought. Before she could take it back and shut herself down before the blonde could, the girl in front of her smiled hugely now and nodded.
“That sounds like a good time. I’m down.” She grinned, making Lexa shoot her head up in surprise and open her mouth to reply before closing it again, at a loss for words. “Are you surprised I said yes? Because I can say no if you wanted me to.” The blonde said quickly, noticing Lexa’s hesitance. She couldn’t help but laugh at how cute that was, but then Lexa’s heart panged. She just called this girl cute… in her head but still. She was less than 100 feet from her dead girlfriend and was asking someone to hang out.
“Um—yeah—I am surprised actually, but I’m glad too. Honestly I haven’t really talked to anyone other than customers at my job so I’m probably really awkward is all.” She rubbed her neck, avoiding eye contact but the girl just took her hand and smiled kindly at her.
“It’s okay. Same for me. Let’s go watch some Netflix?” The blonde coaxed the frown off her face and Lexa nodded thankfully. She still held Lexa’s hand as they made their way out of the graveyard and Lexa made sure to send a message to the sky for Costia to hear—this means nothing.