Frayed Ribbons

by RedTabbyCat23

Summary:

"And now, despite how foreign the words sounded in their mind, Zooble missed Gangle. Because she was Gangle.

Until she wasn't.

Until she abstracted."

(Alternatively: There isn't any fics of Gangle dying, so I made one for myself and also put Google in it because I wanted to.)

Notes:

This is completely self-indulgent, and I created it at 1:00 am. Sorry if it's trash.
Also, CONTENT WARNINGS for death, panic attacks, canon-typical cartoon violence, and non-graphic injuries. Stay safe guys. If you think this might be too much for you (reasonable), then feel free to click off. <3

Chapter 1

Gangle's ribbon-like hands trembled as she tried to piece together her comedy mask again, which just kept happening no matter what she did.

It was too fragile, just like her faint happiness. She was much too easy to break, and more and more Jax seemed to target her lately due to that simple fact. He knew her weaknesses. And he used them against her almost daily.

Which meant that day after day after day, she'd end up depressed in her room, trying fruitlessly to unsteadily piece together a shattered porcelain mask. The same mask which helped her see things in a positive outlook - an optimistic tone.

She became particularly frustrated as the piece she'd just glued on wobbled and fell off, causing the whole thing to shatter in her hands. It all landed in a gluey pile on her bed, where she was still sat trying to repair it. She pushed it away, trying to prevent her watery eyes from breaking the dam.
Useless. Her efforts were utterly useless.

Another wave of worthlessness and upset washed over her, overtaking any hopeful and/or positive thoughts she had. Gangle's mind was never just one way, despite the way she looked outside. She had a mix of both positive and negative thoughts, but her positive ones were more easily vanquished.

Like a droplet of water landing on the lit wick of a quickly melting candle, her drive to fix the mask had evaporated into useless clouds of smoke. She didn't want to look at it now. Now when she knew she couldn't fix it permanently - let alone in a way that mattered.

Gangle could never do anything that mattered anymore, it seemed. Any attempt she made to fix her stupid happy mask was always interrupted or halted entirely. It always broke again and again, and it seemed it would be like that for eternity.

At the notion of an eternal loop of breaking and fixing only to break again and repeat the process, she visibly shuddered. (Well, as much as a ribbon girl could shudder.) She didn't want it to be like this.

Perhaps she could go ask Caine to make her comedy mask somehow indestructible? Unable to be broken again?

...but that'd leave her with one emotion. Being happy all the time might not be such a good idea. It would become dull rapidly if she was simply chipper and joyful every single day. And she'd probably lose her only friends, too, considering that kind of toxic positivity was never pleasant to be around.

She worried and worried endlessly, and it only seemed to make her more uneasy. Gangle set the broken, shattered remains of her mask - picking them up piece by piece, - onto her nightstand and prepared to cry. Because that's all she could do. She was useless and worthless, and she couldn't stand up for herself either. It felt better to just let her shoulders sag and let the tears break free.

Yet she refrained.

Gangle couldn't repair her own mask. She couldn't even stand up for herself and tell Jax off - only Ragatha or Zooble could get him to stop. She was a doormat, and she'd have to face that.
Face it head on. Confront it. Make herself stronger, more able to defend herself.

Yet as Gangle got up to look at herself in the mirror across from her, she let out a sad sound. All she was, was a limp, flimsy ribbon girl. Carrying a heavy porcelain mask of her emotions. She could be crushed irreparably under that weight so easily. And not to mention she really didn't even have a place here at all, despite what was told to her countless times.

Gangle was weak.
Gangle was worthless.
Gangle was purely cosmetic.

She didn't belong here - why did she ever think she did? She didn't.
Gangle was not meant to be here in the first place, she couldn't remember who she was before the Circus, but she knew she had stumbled across this place by accident.

She could feel her mask getting lighter, a sensation like lightheadedness in humans. Which she wasn't any longer.
She hadn't been human for a long while.
The dread inside her rose to swallow her whole, and she could feel herself start to register her rapid inhales and exhales. This was her fault.

Control your breathing, control your breathing, you'll suffocate and die if you don't!

She couldn't. Gangle was trying to focus on fixing her breathing, but her mind was spinning and the world around her was unfocused. She was very dizzy, and nauseous, and as she tried to stumble back to her bed, she mistakenly twined her leg around her other one and fell face-first.

The pain that followed was /excruciating/. It was debilitating, splintering, and white-hot. And all she could do was scream. She ran, internally as well as externally panicking and wailing, to the mirror. It couldn't be that bad, right?!

Just as she looked into said mirror, her stuttery breath caught in her nonexistent throat. She gasped, whining as heavy tears slid down her cracked mask.

The tragedy one. The one that /didn't/ crack. A sort of pixelly, black ooze spilled out. Numbers and digits alike ran through the ooze. It was similar to the stuff she'd seen in abstractions, and the-

Oh god.

Abstractions.

She was going to abstract, and there had to be something she could do about it! Gangle's shaking hands were just getting worse, and she felt she was going to either fall over or just die.

She couldn't breathe and she couldn't focus and she was going to abstract- and just as she thought, that's exactly what she started to do.

In front of the mirror, she panicked as she watched it happen in real time, pain jolting through her body like a particularly intensely stinging case of paresthesia. It started with her mask, which turned completely blue and then black, the sides of it stretching out in a sporadic, unpredictable manner. And then it spread to her neck, and then her arms, and...

Gangle could feel it all. It stung, it burned,, it ached, it made her crazy. She didn't register the knock at the door, and when it did surpass the lag in her mind and catch up with her, she whirled around, now a whirlpool-like black mass of eyes and horns. Instantly, she was met with

someone familiar.

Gangle threw her giant form at the intruder, trying her best to recognize them. It didn't work.

_

Zooble wanted to sprint out of that room, and if they could, they would. But this *lthing was in Gangle's room.

Gangle, the best person in the entirety of this god-forsaken Circus they were all thrust into. This strange, horned amalgamation of black, glitchy code and RGB spam, it was in Gangle's room. And who knew what it even was?!

And then it hit them, once the thing whirled around and looked at them, they recognized it. Black, snake-like tendrils ribboning out from the monster's sides, tiny red spots flecked in the black. Those were what solidified it for them.

This was Gangle.

"Gangle!" Zooble was terrified, but they didn't show it. The abstractio- Gangle, tilted her head at Zooble. It was a sort of internal battle for Gangle, from what the shape person could tell. Between the urge to destroy, and the urge to fix whatever had taken over her mind.

_

"Gangle!" That name was familiar to it. But it couldn't place anything together, with the way its mind was gap-filled and riddled with missing code. It thrashed, desperate to relieve the pain in its core being. The walls shook and trembled, Gangle's extra masks falling down off of them.

L3T# M3 0UT7TT!!!!!@

The beast screeched, its piercing wail no doubt waking everyone in the circus. It reared up on its hind legs, eyes smattered all over them, and then slammed itself against the wall as something internally caused it to harm itself rather than the stranger in front of it.

K1/L, D3E5TR0-YY!!!

Again, the abstraction's inner mechanisms caused it to harshly bash its own body into the wall once more, as if whatever was inside it was trying desperately to subdue it. Whoever was at the door was trying to speak to it, but it could not comprehend the words, even with how deeply a part of it desired to.

"Gangle!!"

Again, that name!! How it dreaded that name and the human emotions that combination of English letters made it feel. The abstraction somehow refused to harm itself once more, and through its cloudy mind of chaos and disorder, it zeroed in on the stranger encroaching upon its territory.

It kicked off towards them, which caused them to gasp, yell, and back up. Why weren't they running??

1D/1&0T#!!

Whoever the stranger was began to run right after, once they'd witnessed the growl from the abstraction with mismatched yet equally wide eyes. Though, they weren't running in an afraid way.

The beast burst out of the too-small confines of the familiar room, stomping on the door as it ducked its head out and bellowed. It immediately caught sight of some other oddly familiar figures - a tiny blue and red one, a tall purple one with some long ears, what looked like a doll, and a thing in a cloak. The stranger from before - the colourful, spotted one, - tried to speak to it.

It could not understand. It screamed in fury, and attempted to take a killing swipe at all the garishly vibrant characters in front of it. It was instead thrust into another wall, which it reduced to a flickering, glitching mess of broken code. Another screech ripped out of its throat as it was blinded, bits of ceiling crumbling and falling off. It tired to dodge, but the ceiling debris crashed onto its head as it struggled to regain control.

_

"We need to get Caine." Jax said, and was already in the process of calling for him. Ragatha and Pomni both argued with him, trying to get him to feel at the very least a little sympathy for their friend's condition. However, Kinger seemed to just be frozen, like he was used to this.
He simply stared straight ahead, like he was looking through Gangle.

Zooble was furious. They knew exactly what had caused this- something the ribbon girl had vented to them about many times before. Specifically yesterday.

"We're not getting Caine, and she's not going in the cellar!" They grit their nonexistent teeth and their voice rose to a tone that portrayed anger - not annoyance.

"That's not Gangle anymore, Zooble." The rabbit said nonchalantly, like this wasn't a big deal at all. "Besides, I'm tired, and I'm sure everyone else is. Let's just get this over with already!"

All they could do was exhale forcefully in an angry sigh. "You," Zooble started, shoving their finger into the centre of Jax's chest. "Are the whole £@&?!#! reason she's like this!" They shouted at him, trying to get him to listen. But this was Jax. And though he had ears, he didn't use them to listen to her.

"Oh yeah? How?" He said, in that I'm-always-right tone that made Zooble want to shove him into a pile of bricks. "Because you're always hurting her!" They wanted to strangle him.

"Psshh, I never hurt her, I just pick on her."

"Does that," they pointed back at the abstraction shaking the hallway, an internal battle for control going on in its mind. "look like it was caused by someone picking on her?!"

For the first time in his life, Jax didn't say anything. And then he did. "It's her own fault."

"Jax, you need to stop!" Ragatha interrupted, trying to spare Jax's life from Zooble's rage. They were really thinking about strangling him now, moreso than before. Their train of thought was thrown off the rails when Caine materialised with just then, a comedic 'poof' cutting through Ragatha's arguing with Jax.

Zooble didn't show it, but they were afraid.
They didn't want Gangle to be hurt more than she already was. And they really didn't want Gangle to be put in the fucking cellar of all places.

"What seems to be the problem?" Caine asked after a short greeting, like the source of the problem wasn't bashing herself onto walls right in front of everyone.

He looked ahead and let out a short "hmm", and then spoke again.
"Looks like Gangle abstracted! Why did no one tell me?"

Zooble was very uncomfortable, their eyes still hadn't left Gangle's abstracted form. The room shook as she threw herself into the wall over and over, more glitchiness spreading.

Caine snapped his fingers just then, and the floor opened up beneath him. It was dark in the cellar. Masses of multicoloured sclera attached to black blob bodies glowed faintly in the darkness.
Zooble shuddered.

And then they processed what was going to happen. "Wait!" They yelped, catching Caine's attention as well as most of the other circus members.

"Yeees?" Caine asked, frozen in place for comedic effect.

"She's- Gangle's still Gangle, she's still in there, can't you just reverse this?" Zooble begged, begged and hoped that this could be reversed. They pleaded to whatever higher power there might be that Gangle could be saved, because she didn't deserve this.

Caine seemed to pause for a moment, making a dial tone play. And then he shook his head. "No can do, my polygonal pal, she'll have to make friends with her own kind now!"
He said, and they froze.

Within moments, Gangle was in the cellar. And Zooble barely processed it.

And the hole was closed.

And the walls were repaired.

And the ceiling was back together.

And as Caine disappeared, he said something before he left. Zooble didn't register it.

Everything was as it should be, just...without Gangle.

Soon afterwards, some words of comfort were given to them by Ragatha. And then every circus member slowly dispersed after saying some things, and then went back to their respective rooms. Albeit sadly.

Zooble didn't particularly care for anyone's company.

They stood, alone in the hallway, as the lights were turned off by Jax and the final door was shut.

Zooble couldn't believe what had just transpired before them.

Gangle was gone.

Gangle was in the cellar.

Gangle had abstracted.

Gangle was gone.

...

Gangle.

Her. The ribbon girl.

Gone.

They couldn't help but stare at the floor. They couldn't process this. They just stared at nothing, and then eventually managed to walk back to their room. Right next to hers.

The portrait of her was crossed out now. A big red X that just spawned overtop of the picture of the smiling girl.

It was so surreal. So strange. And though Zooble was no stranger to the surreal and strange, this was just...unnatural.
It felt like it wasn't supposed to happen.

Just yesterday (yesterday as in the period of time before they fell asleep, because the time in the digital circus is very finicky,) they'd been chatting with Gangle.

The ribbon girl would often ask to come over after adventures, or when they had days off just to chat. She was the one person Zooble could tolerate, and they wouldn't admit it but they appreciated her company.

She even made them drawings, and they'd try to make drawings for her as well, though they'd never admit it if you asked them. Zooble even recalls cuddling (if you could call a ribbon girl wrapping herself around you her "cuddling you") with Gangle sometimes, just because she asked to.

And now, despite how foreign the words sounded in their mind, Zooble missed Gangle. Because she was Gangle.

Until she wasn't.

Until she abstracted.

Truth be told, they fully blamed Jax. Because he was the one who tormented Gangle day after day.
And even when the girl, who had become an abstraction, was sent below them all, he still cracked a joke. He said something along the lines of "not having to deal with her anymore" or something like that.

Like he was glad that she was gone. The shape person had only just processed he said that, because they couldn't stop thinking about seeing her be sent away.

They missed her.

Missed Gangle.

She didn't deserve this at all. Jax did, if anyone did. Their thoughts going back to Jax made them walk back out of their room, which they'd just walked into.

They'd just been standing in the middle of their doorway blankly, thinking too much to be present.

They decided to pay him a visit. It didn't matter if he wanted to sleep. What he needed was to be yelled at. Scolded. Tortured with words.

Because what he did to Gangle was unforgivable.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Reminiscing on who's missing.
Also, Zooble beats the shit out of Jax.

Notes:

Two chapters in one day 'cos I was really inspired to keep writing.

(Sorry if the formatting is messed up, AO3 likes to mess with my paragraphs.)

 

Zooble eventually made their way over to Jax's door. They hit it with their fist - once, twice, three times, but no answer. This just made them angrier. They then kicked it instead, and the resulting blunt sound should've definitely woken Jax up if he was sleeping.

No answer. No sound beyond the door. Nothing. Ugh. What use was it to even try if Jax was probably not even there??

Gritting their teeth that they didn't have, they kicked again. This time, harder. If it didn't wake up Jax then it probably woke up someone else.

It definitely would've woken her up, if she was still here.

But she wasn't. 

And that was the fault of the rabbit just beyond this door. Something inside them twisted painfully at the notion, which just wasn't something Zooble had felt before. They didn't kick the door this time, they punched it. 

"Jax, get your sorry @#& out here!!" They demanded, but there wasn't any sound on the other side. Jax probably ran away like the fucking coward he was. He started fights but never finished them. Cowardly. Coward. He was a coward.

And a murderer. 

The thought of Jax just angered them even more, but in favour of not going crazy, they turned their back to the door and sighed forcefully. Zooble would deal with him later. For now, they decided to just go to their room.

And go to their room they did. To cool off, and try to fix the anger inside them that threatened to boil over. They threw open the door, not caring that it flew into the wall, and then slammed it shut with the back of their foot. 

Their bed was next to the box of spare parts, and all they wanted to do was flop down into it and sleep. They knew it wouldn't come to them, but they shut their eyes regardless. Maybe, just maybe they'd be able to peacefully forget about this for a while. 

_

Gangle opened her eyes, her mask shifting slightly to reflect the change. She didn't know where she was- somewhere unfamiliar, that's for sure. She couldn't see very well, and she had to squint.

It was so dark. So very, very dark. The only way she was even able to see herself was some faint light quite far from her, yards away. It was just barely reaching her, lighting up the red on her ribbons. The light was so faint, but she could see it somehow.

She walked closer, the room completely silent. The only sounds in the whole room was her breathing, and she tested the sound physics with a simple, crackly "hello?" that echoed around, bouncing back to her after a few seconds. She was definitely in a place that had walls.

Her first thought was that maybe she'd been displaced her here as a side effect of some adventure or something, or maybe she was just glitching...she didn't have any clue.
She was interrupted just as she was about to say something again, by her whole world shaking.

Violently. 

She let out a cry of suprise and shock as she was flung far away, the world around her tilting and making her lose her balance. Gangle fell to her ribbonlike hands and knees, panic rising in her chest. "This isn't fun!" She yelled, hoping someone would see her. She fell further back as the world shook again, flinging her into a wall that was strangely prickly. What...was this? Where was she? 

There was only one person who could fix glitches that she knew of - or rather, AI - Caine. He could fix this, and he could put her back where she was supposed to be! 

"Caine!" 

She called, as loud as she physically could so that he could hear her. She didn't know if anyone could hear her in this silent, hellishly dark world, but she prayed if she was loud enough that someone would hear her cries.

Nobody did. Gangle was alone, and the world had slowed to a stop. It wasn't quaking or trying to shake her around like a bouncy ball anymore. It was still.

Nobody heard Gangle.

She was alone. With a shaky sigh, she let her tears fall, and she curled up into a tight ball. She was trembling now, blubbery sobs the only sound in the room aside from her uneven breaths.

She couldn't recall coming here. She couldn't recall anything about this place, the last thing she remembered was...

Oh.

Oh no. She...she wasn't supposed to be here!

She abstracted, oh god... 

And worse yet, she tried to hurt her friends. It didn't matter how much she fought back against the abstraction, it was bad enough that she ended up here. To find out that she attempted to harm her friends it...she'd truly fucked up.

Gangle had only ever seen a handful of abstractions before, but she knew where she was now. She was in the cellar.
And she was alone. There was nothing here but silence and darkness.
Gangle was underneath the circus.
She had no theoretical way of getting back up there.

And nobody would be able to help her now. This was worse than Jax's bullying, it was worse than her irreparable mask, it was worse than throwing herself desperately into walls so that she wouldn't hurt her friends. It was worse than the ache - both mental and physical that that had left her with.

This was, undoubtedly, the worst thing to ever happen to her. And Gangle was teetering on the edge of something far worse than abstraction. 

She felt like she was genuinely going insane.

_

There was zero solace in Zooble's dreams, as it turned out. 

All that happened before they'd woken up, when they were in their dream, entailed nothing but a repeat of the exact event she was trying to escape from.
And to make it worse, she could hear the rest of her fellow circus members congregating in the hallway outside her door. 

It was almost time for roll call.

Zooble didn't feel like doing anything having to do with that right now. They shut their eyes again, not dealing with any of it today. No doubt about it, Ragatha would be trying to cheer them up. And it wouldn't work.

Seldom did that ever do anything for Zooble, actually. 

Their thoughts filled unpleasantly with the good memories of Gangle, and they decided to throw a pillow over their face. Maybe they'd be able to smother the thoughts or something, physics were weird in the digital circus. Their thoughts didn't dissipate, undeterred by their attempt.

One memory in particular punched them in the face, or moreso the heart. 

The one with her and them. And the cat.

They thought it was just a regular adventure, so they decided to sit out on it after the roll call and theme song. It was boring being on ''adventures'' when all they did was get taken apart somehow. And that tended to happen a lot during many adventures, it seemed like Caine just liked to make that happen to them. That, or every new NPC in the adventure had it out for them. Which would explain a lot, actually.

They remember it clearly, since it'd only happened a few days (as close to ''days'' as you could estimate in this place,) ago.
Gangle being blocked from going back in her room by Jax, and them threatening him so he'd leave her the hell alone. Gangle then asked them about some kind of white cat named after one of her mangas, and they of course knew where it was. The thing ran right into the quietest room in the whole circus - theirs. 

They told Gangle, and she ran into their room as expected. The moment "Chi" was back in her arms, she squealed happily. A normally annoying, high-pitched sound that only Gangle could make cute. There were a lot of things that only she could make cute, actually. 

Anyways, Gangle really loved this cat, so Zooble wasn't too annoyed with the cat barging into their room like it belonged there. Because it would be bad to kick it out and end up kicking out the ribbon girl as well.

Long story short, Gangle ended up in their room that night, cat and Azumanga Diaoh manga right next to her whilst she slept.

She wasn't present with the rest of the cast when the adventure had ended, and when she woke up the kitten had despawned due to the adventure ending. 

That was a whole thing with her. Gangle was so upset that the kitten vanished, she woke up Zooble and asked them if they knew where it was.
And usually, being woken up so urgently and loudly would've angered them. 

But this was Gangle. And things were really different with her. So they were only mildly annoyed, not mad.

The evening following that was basically solely spent comforting the ribbon girl, which was actually pleasant. As per usual. Gangle was just nice to be around.
They wondered if anyone else realised that there was more to her than just her masks. More to her than just another character. Gangle was special.

She was nothing like anyone else here. 

Zooble's thoughts, that had run freely miserably through their mind, were interrupted by a knock at the door. They groaned and pressed the pillow on top of their face further down. They didn't care to see right now. They didn't care to get up and answer it. They only cared to lay on their bed and disassociate. (← Relatable)

"Hey Zooble?" A voice on the other side of the door said, and they immediately tensed once they realised who it was on the other side.They threw the pillow off their face,  hopping off their bed.

Zooble got up and sluggishly walked over to the door, ready to just immediately start throwing hands with him. They'd been wanting to do this since yesterday...whenever yesterday was. If the abstraction had even happened a day ago. They were too disoriented to know.

Anger making them seethe, they tore the door open and looked up at Jax with a glare that could kill. "What." Their words cut short, sharp, straight to the point. A pregnant pause filled the silence, and Jax looked away feigning guilt. 

Like this fake-ass pity party was gonna work on them. 

"Ragatha wanted me to check on you." He said, uncharacteristically softly.

Fucking faker. 

"Really? You think that £#&@?!@& is gonna work on me?! You murdered Gangle!!" They were not just angry. They were livid. 

"I didn't murder her, you're exaggerating!" He dropped the act, back to his signature uncaring nature. He said it in such a way that it sounded like Zooble was accusing him of cheating at a game or something fucking stupid like that.

Zooble's nonexistent blood boiled, and they were quite literally seeing red. "You forced her to die. Sounds a lot like murdering to me." 

"Like you actually cared about some pathetic bunch of strings! Just drop it already!" Jax sounded exasperated- no, he sounded annoyed. He really didn't care. 
He didn't care that he fucking killed Gangle.

"She wasn't just a bunch of strings, you @#&?/!$!! She was Gangle!"

"Gangle, who acted like a crybaby all the time. So what if she's gone? Who cares?"
He was making fun of her, even though she wasn't even fucking there anymore. It was all because of him.

"You SON OF A &!@#*!!" Zooble punched him in the face, which is exactly what he deserved. And then they tackled him and started to just generally beat the shit out of him. Jax's eyes widened, mouth open for once as he screamed. "GET OFF ME! YOU #&@£#!! ZOOBLE, GET THE &@#^ OFF ME!!!" 

They didn't listen to his pleas, but someone else did. The rest of the circus gang, who were all farther down the hallway waiting for Jax, decided to interfere. Ragatha and Pomni in particular, but moreso Ragatha.

"Zooble! Don't hurt him!" She pleaded, rushing over with her arms swinging in a ragdoll-esque way. Fitting. Once she was over next to the two, Ragatha began trying to get the shape person off the stupid rabbit. She succeeded, but not without Zooble violently trying to escape and continue beating up Jax. "LET ME GO!" 

"Not until you quit trying to hurt him!" Was her response, and so Zooble decided to spill the truth.

"He killed Gangle!!" 

At once they were dropped, and Ragatha gasped. Pomni did the same, her pupils becoming tiny as she grasped Ragatha's hand in her own. Zooble stood up, just barely resisting the urge to continue pummeling Jax with their fists.

"I #@?¢\!& told you, I didn't kill Gangle!" He grunted, getting back up on two feet. His face wasn't that badly damaged, which disappointed Zooble. 
He looked at Ragatha, recognizing her shocked and horrified expression after a second.
"Zooble's just crazy, dollface." 
Ragatha didn't look certain, and neither did Pomni. 

"He's #@&!%?* lying!" Zooble roughly said, a hint of a growl in their tone. 
A betrayed sort of look on her face, the doll spoke up. She turned to the nonchalant rabbit. "Jax, you wouldn't hurt Gangle, right?" 

"I mean-" he said, pausing. And then Ragatha's face fell. She looked genuinely concerned, from what Zooble could tell she couldn't believe him. 

This was driving them crazy. 
"He killed Gangle. He drove her to abstract. It's his #@&!%?* fault." They jabbed a finger in his direction, their voice cracking unintentionally. God damn it.

"Jax, you didn't- you didn't actually force her to abstract, right?"

"I guess I did, if that's how you're putting it." 
"Everyone to the stage, it's time for roll call!" 
A voice echoed off the walls, coming from one of the wacky speakers that hung in the corners of the hallway. 

Ragatha spared one glance at Jax, and Pomni was about to say something, but shut her mouth instead. They both went down the hall fully quietly, not acknowledging him despite the expressions on their faces saying they were terrified of what he'd done.

Zooble was now free to torture him as they wanted. "I #!*£&/$ hate you. I hope you abstract. I hope you feel the pain she felt." 

"Why do you even care? That's what confuses me. She doesn't matter. All she did was cry about her stupid mask," Jax knew 99% of the time he was the one who caused that, and he was talking about it as if he wasn't.

"I care because she was Gangle, not just some #&£@!\% NPC for you to torture to get experience points!!" They spat, and it almost made Jax falter. He didn't, though. "Are you sure about that?'

"As sure as I am that I'm gonna kick your @$% in five seconds if you don't go." Now Zooble was threatening him, but Jax was never able to tell when enough was enough, as they observed many times prior.

"Give me one good thing about her. And don't worry, I'll wait." He said, as if he'd found a way he was right. He did not.

"She listened, she was enthusiastic about her interests, she was nice, she wasn't pretending she was fine constantly, she was a good, #£&@*!%, person!"

"Woah! I didn't know you were in love with her!" That struck a nerve.

"Shut the $%@& up before I make your face look like *mine*!"

"You can't."

Zooble was about to attack him then and there, again, but was halted because they and Jax were teleported to the stage, just in time for their rollcall. When Zooble raised an eyebrow, Caine acknowledged them, and said something about them having 'enough days off' or something like that. 

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

Notes:

Expect another chapter of this tomorrow, though it'll be a lot more focused on Gangle. I think this might go beyond 5 chapters, because I have a lot planned. Again, sorry if any of the characters are out of character. Additionally, if anything's messed up or I skip over writing something important, I haven't slept in a day, so that's why.

Chapter 3

Notes:

I apologize that this is quite short. I almost got hit by the same car four times today, and as a side effect of that I am exhausted. I'll be posting the other half of this chapter tomorrow, as well as a whole new chapter on its own.

(It is also noteworthy that I will be on holiday for three days starting tomorrow, and maybe longer if needed. During this time I will still try to update, however.) :)

Gangle could only make out the darkness. She couldn't see anything around her, and by now the light had faded away. She'd found the source after a while of looking; a tiny, pinprick hole in the "ceiling" of this room.

Which meant that somewhere in the circus, this place could be accessed. This horrible, cold place. Gangle felt her self-hatred bubble up like oncoming vomit. It was all her fault she was stuck here, it was her fault for abstracting. It was her fault for letting herself abstract. 

She stared at the far wall in front of her, but the more she stared the more the darkness grew. She couldn't tell if her eyes were open or shut - but that wouldn't matter, because she didn't have actual eyelids. Just the sensation of it. She couldn't go blind down here if she didn't have eyes to begin with.

Gangle was still curled up into a ball against the wall, trying to get herself to feel better by thinking about happy things - which she knew was a fruitless pursuit. She wouldn't be able to get back up there in the first place, so she shouldn't give herself false hope and plan what she was going to do when she got out.

And yet that's exactly what she did. She was hopeless, knowing she would never leave this place ever again. In all of eternity. Which hurt, yes, but it was for the best.

She let her mind wander, thinking back to the fun times she had with her friends before abstracting. The adventures they went on, like the one with the kittens, and the one when they all went to the amusement park, that was lots of fun. Gangle could feel the tears building up as she remembered one memory in particular - the night she stayed in Zooble's room with the kitten. 

Zooble. She wondered how they were doing. Probably fine, because Gangle knew that they tolerated her...they wouldn't be too affected by her having abstracted. Maybe a little sad or a little worried, but they'd get over it eventually.

As for the rest of the circus members, she knew for sure that Jax wouldn't miss her. Pomni probably wouldn't, considering she'd just joined recently and didn't know anyone - save for Ragatha, - that well yet. As for Ragatha herself, she would probably miss Gangle somewhat. Not enough for it to be important, though.

Gangle was forgettable. Basic. All the things she was used to hearing, and the words she wished weren't in her mind right now. But just like everyone else's, minds don't listen to their owners. Minds have a sort of immoral and twistedly logical way of thinking.

 

Evolutionarily, it was helpful. 

 

In this context, it was the opposite.

Gangle wished she could just stop thinking, but being a personification of tragedy, she could not. She was meant to be this way - everyone was in some darkly comical way equivalent to their designs. Gangle just happened to have her weaknesses plastered onto her publicly, like a "kick me" sign. 

She closed her eyes, because it didn't make a difference if they were open or not. The absence of a light source made the cellar completely dark. Though, as she thought about it, she had to question it.

Why were the cellars dark? And why were the walls prickly in a static-like way? She supposed the first one made sense in an oddly specific way, but the second one was just weird. It was like her ribbons recieved a static shock every time they so much as went by the wall. 

Getting her mind off her emotional memories and focusing solely on logical questions seemed like a good idea for now.

Maybe Gangle would be able to find a way out of here- like, what about that hole in the ceiling? Sure, it was high up and all, but she could probably find some way of reaching it. Maybe she could find something to stack, there had to be some discarded polygons or test objects that she could use to reach the hole. 

She got up wobbily, unable to stop trembling just yet. Maybe it wouldn't be a 'yet', actually, because she'd not stopped trembling since she had gotten back into her mind. She blanked for a long while, only recently coming back to reality around five minutes ago.

Gangle decided to get those confusing thoughts out of her mind. And to avoid the ones involving her fellow performers. She instead wiped her eyes, deliberately and slowly walking around so that if she did find any objects down here, she would not step on them. 

After a while of walking around aimlessly, she did step on something. Something that made her have the same static feeling as the walls. Gangle let out a yelp of surprise, pulling her ribbon leg back from the thing. She looked down at it, unable to see anything but black. 

And yet, something was definitely here. Hesitantly, she cautiously reached a hand out and lowered it, poking the thing and getting the same feeling as before. Her hand was warm now, as was her leg. "Hello?" She whispered, squinting as if that'd help her see better. It predictably did not. Gangle tried again, this time louder. 

 

"Hello?" 

 

As her empty greeting echoed, the crack present in her voice became apparent to her. Gangle shuddered. She sounded like a frog with a cold. Had she really been crying for so long that it'd altered her voice? She waited for a response to her call, but none came. And then one did.

 

"A@/@&£@#=^^$@&_¢%*!!!"

 

That made her let out a cry of shock and fear, and Gangle ran back, not wanting to encounter whatever creature she'd just disturbed.

And then it became blatantly apparent to her just how big and terrifying this creature was. Hundreds of alternating blue and pink eyes opened up, every shaking pupil zeroing in on Gangle.

 

"Y40μ!!?!?)#!!"

 

(0@M#3&©|O53®...!!"

 

The garbled, high-pitched shrieks of the abstraction made her freeze, her mask displaying her emotions perfectly. The creature before her, though she could not see its full body, was absolutely smothered with oppressive blue and pink eyes. And the way they were all angry and looking at her, that was the worst part.

 She let out a fearful gasp, not looking back at the creature as she began to flee as fast as she could. In her haste to escape, Gangle forgot the one thing everyone in the world should never forget; prey runs. And this creature saw her as prey regardless, so she was simply making the chase fun.

Gangle didn't look back, running swiftly and without a sound through the darkness. She didn't stumble, she didn't falter, but she was worried she would. She was worried she'd get caught and then abstract again. 

Okay, "worried" might be a little bit of an understatement. She was..horrified. She dodged to one side as the beast lunged for her, but didn't stop running. If she did, she'd be dead.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Gangle screamed, tears pricking at her eyes actually falling warmly now. Which was weird because actually HOW was it warm? She didn't have blood circulation. Or blood.

"@&£$®¥™*/@-&£?!?!!" The thing responded, which just made her let out another scared, high-pitched sound. The abstraction flung a claw at her, almost catching her ribbon neck before she ducked in order to avoid its claws.

It let out a fearsome roar, never once faltering in its pursuit. Her nonexistent blood chilled, and she shivered with fear. It was like a lion and a bear mixed with a physical manifestation of nightmares and, for some reason, peanut brittle.

And it was hellbent on attacking her.

Chills ran down Gangle's spine as she ran, light on her feet and way faster than the hulking beast that was the abstraction. She had no idea who this person even WAS before the abstraction took control. She shuddered to think she was once like that, letting glitchy patches of code take over and make illogical, irrational, dangerous decisions.

It was then that it hit her- HER abstracted form...where was it now? She was her again, as far as she could tell, but what about the form before? Caine always said that abstraction couldn't be reversed...so how was she back?

Was it a glitch in the code, akin to the sort that creates these one-and-zero monstrosities? An oversight like that could be drastic, it could mean that abstraction IS reversible. Gangle wanted to stop in order to think, but decided to let herself go at the same pace with her racing thoughts. She didn't particularly want to die, and stopping in front of an abstraction was a surefire way to do that.

Behind her, it roared and stomped, throwing itself this way and that in a sporadic, uncanny manner. The abstraction was still right behind her, but it was slowing its pace due to its spasming. Gangle was getting exhausted. She'd been fleeing from this thing for so long. It HAD to be getting tired by now.

And she thought her assumption was correct, because when she looked behind herself, she saw the abstraction stutter. It was violently glitching out, moreso than before. She could only tell due to the pupils vibrating in its eyes, which it had a multitude of. 

Gangle skidded to a halt, watching cautiously with shaky hesitance. She decided to use this time wisely, her digital heart pounding in her nonexistent ears. She had a headache now, she noticed, as she was catching her breath. Though that was to be expected, given that she was running for her life not a minute ago. 

She took in some air when it jolted an arm towards her, but thankfully it didn't even graze her. Gangle was keeping her distance, not willing to approach further in case of the likely event that it attacks her. The abstraction then did something wholly unexpected - it started to yelp, as if in pain.

And though she shouldn't have, Gangle felt bad for the glitchy monster. It was too animalistic for her to not feel some level of sympathy, four legs and all - Gangle had always been an animal lover.

"Are-, are you-" 

She didn't get to finish her sentence, because it roared in an earsplitting way which made her wince. Even though this thing wasn't an animal, she felt bad for it, and she wanted to help it. Gangle slowly approached closer, trepidation making her pace as slow as a snail's. It immediately saw her and lashed out, flailing its various limbs with a hissing sound.

She was torn now. She wanted to run away, but she wanted to help as well. After all, SHE was an abstraction before too, and it wasn't pleasant in the slightest. It was a petrifying loss of control, combine that with the killing and mauling instincts of the broken code that causes the abstractions, and you've got one hell of a mess.

The experience itself is like deliberately putting salt into cookies rather than sugar. It's painful, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and just feels so wrong. 

But now she just didn't know what to do. And worst of all, she was fully and completely alone. Nobody would find her down here, no one but the abstracted and the forgotten. If she died down here, no one would know, and no one would know if she were alive either. She was Schrödinger's ribbon. Gangle didn't find herself very comfortable with that.

Notes:

Again, sorry this is so short. I hope some still liked it regardless - I enjoyed writing it! Especially parts with abstractions. It's such a cool concept - it's not death, but it can cause someone to lose their mind fully. Now that's something unique.

Also, if you've noticed that there's two paragraph breaks instead of just one for each paragraph, I didn't do that on purpose. AO3 decided to duplicate my paragraph breaks for some reason.

Chapter 4

Summary:

A rollercoaster of emotions, also it includes Gangle's cat that I gave her. Will have art added eventually.

Notes:

Sorry if this is short, I'm currently on holiday. The next chapter will be longer though - I'm going to try and hit at least 2,900 words. Also, thanks for all the comments. They genuinely make me really happy. :)

Also, you should read the other half of chapter 3 that I posted yesterday.

"Today's adventure will be a highly requested one - you're going to comfortably care for cute, cuddly, (somewhat-spontaneously-combustible...) kittens!"

They'd just finished roll call, and Zooble already wanted to leave. Not kittens, not again. They didn't want to do this for the second time - though they supposed it was a lot better than being disassembled and broken again.

The real problem here was that they knew Gangle's kitten would be looking for her. Chi, if they remembered correctly.
And though they didn't feel bad for the dumb thing, there was just something upsetting about it searching for someone whom they knew it wouldn't find. Poor dumb kitten.

There was something very upsetting about all of this, actually. Zooble didn't know how to explain it, but it just felt like...like this wasn't meant to happen. 
And they knew it wasn't, too, because Jax caused all of this madness.

Despite the Zooble wasn't going to abstract, they told themself. The very thought actually scared them, but that was to be expected, because abstraction isn't exactly reversible. It's a hellish demise that doesn't end. After all, losing your mind is essentially the same as dying, isn't it?

Zooble shook their head. They didn't need to be thinking about that right now. Maybe if they actually took part in the adventure it'd get her smile off their mind.

It still hurt to think about her, as cheesy as they thought that was. They missed Gangle. Besides, it was pointless to join.

They missed her. The way she'd always talk to them endlessly about anything and everything, it soothed them a lot. She'd keep their mind off the inevitable way they were all going to die to abstraction. She'd keep them thinking.

And somewhere along the line, it became out of the ordinary to see Zooble without Gangle. Gangle, who was so sweet and unconditionally friendly. Gangle, who let herself become vulnerable and ginger around her friends. Gangle, who was the best person in the entire god-forsaken circus.
They missed her.

They missed the nights spent with her just chatting together and vibing. They missed her wrapping herself around them in the biggest hugs ever. They missed her kisses (which were actually just clinking their heads together, but it still felt like a kiss) which was really cringe to say.

And they missed Gangle's voice, her presence, the way she'd walk and gesture, and they missed just about everything there was to miss. Zooble missed Gangle, even though that sentence was sappy and they'd never say anything like it.

"Zooble? You're, um, shaking." 

They came back to reality, blinking and then turning to face whoever it was that just alerted them and rested a hand on their shoulder. Ragatha, predictably.

"Yeah? So what?" Zooble wasn't going to admit anything. They definitely weren't upset or anything about Gangle. No. Totally not. That's baby stuff. Having shitty feelings is baby stuff.

"W-well, you seemed upset. You were kinda staring off into space for a while," Ragatha continued, lifting her cloth hand off Zooble as a reaction to their glaring.
"the adventure started five minutes ago."

Great. They were actually being affected now. "Ugh, I'm not doing this." They weren't! Who cares about some dumb baby cats anyways? They didn't. 

"Oh, okay." They could hear Ragatha say goodbye, but they didn't say anything back. They just stomped away, not looking forward to seeing anyone. Vaguely they'd registered everyone get off the stage, but Zooble didn't really care to join the adventure. That was too much right now. They decided to disregard their earlier idea of joining this time, because they didn't want to see Gangle's cat.

But it seemed that luck wasn't on their side, because as soon as they caught sight of their door, they saw it. A small white tail disappearing through the crack. They'd forgotten to close their door, because of course they did.
Though it wasn't their fault considering Caine didn't give them time to close it.

Stupid cat.

Regardless, they sharply exhaled and stepped in anyways. What awaited them was exactly as expected - the stupid, meowing white cat. Around its neck was a red ribbon bow that Zooble just didn't want to see. It looked up at them, white tail curled at the tip like a question mark. Its big blue eyes were shiny as it curiously peered up at them.

Around its neck hung a single tiny, low-poly bell. Next to that was a pendant simply reading "Chi" in capital letters. That's the thing's name, apparently. Gangle chose well; the name suits its big eyes and wide-open, mewing mouth. It looked like its namesake, albeit solid white. 

They didn't care to acknowledge the stupid baby cat. Instead, they walked over to their bed, and were about to get into it before they stepped on something hard. Zooble looked down, lifting their leg up only to realise what it was-

Fucking manga.

Gangle's manga. The humourous, slice-of-life schoolgirl one. The one she'd always giggle when reading. She really loved it. They remembered specifically when she'd lost her marbles laughing because Zooble was having difficulty pronouncing the name of it. But it was a pretty long name, so they got a free pass.

They picked it up, and then chucked it onto their nightstand. Of course this cruel digital world would find a way to remind them of Gangle, even in their own room. What a twisted world they were stuck in. To make it even worse, the stupid animal in their room wouldn't stop meowing.

"Maoo!! Mieuu!!" Mocked Zooble, rolling their eyes at the high-pitched squeaks coming from the kitten. It was undeterred, and sunk its claws into the multicoloured sheet hanging off the side of their bed. It scrambled up easily, trotting up to Zooble with another very loud and very annoying sound. Its tail stood straight up in the air, tilting sideways at the top like it was waving at them.

Whatever. Zooble wasn't an animal hater, but they didn't particularly love animals either. The kitten could stay, for now. They didn't have the energy to pick it up and shut the door on it - nor did they want to hear its incessant, unstoppable whining. This was a compromise. 

The kitten seemed delighted about the arrangement, and proceeded to stretch out, then walk up on top of Zooble, and plop down on their chest. It curled up into a ball, staring down at them like it recognized them. It probably did. It was restless even despite the loafing it was doing, however. It knew something was off. It was strangely aware of Gangle's disappearance.

Zooble could tell; it wouldn't stop looking around the room and tilting its head. 

"She's gone." They deadpanned. 

The kitten swiveled its head to look at them, its tail curling against its side. It paused, and then headbutted Gangle's face and started to purr softly. It sounded like a sewing machine, or a motor. They let the kitten mew, and headbutt, and purr because this was really all they had left of Gangle aside from her mangas.

Her room was closed off. No one was able to get in there. Gangle's mangas she'd brought over to Zooble's room were the only possessions she had left. Those, and her pet kitten. 

Zooble would ask later if it could stay permanently. They'd most likely be denied, but in the very slight chance they weren't, it'd be an okay arrangement to keep the baby cat. 

Her room was closed off. No one was able to get in there. Gangle's mangas she'd brought over to Zooble's room were the only possessions she had left. Those, and her pet kitten. 

Zooble would ask later if it could stay permanently. They'd most likely be denied, but in the very slight chance they weren't, it'd be an okay arrangement to keep the baby cat. 

The red ribbon around its neck was achingly familiar. They closed their eyes, not wanting to see any of this anymore. Zooble was trying to fall asleep again. Dreams were the only thing that gave them solace. 

Somewhere far away, Gangle shut her eyes as well...

_

She was in an unfamiliar area.

Gangle wasn't in the darkness now. She was somewhere else. It looked almost like a hill, akin to the one right next to the digital lake. It wasn't though, because the tent wasn't anywhere in sight. 

Gangle felt a simulated breeze go by, and it was strangely pleasant. It was odd, if she could choose one word summarise and shorten how this dream felt. The plasticy, individual blades of grass swayed in the breeze as programmed. Gangle felt her "shoulders" drop and relax. She let herself sigh and then decided to sit in the grass and enjoy this for as long as possible. 

And then she heard some walking behind her, which made her jump. The person behind her jumped as well, and-

Zooble?!

She recognized the shape person instantly, but they looked bewildered. She got up off the grass and tried to steady her shaky, uneven breathing. They were staring at her, expression unreadable yet carrying a sort of nostalgic sorrow. Gangle paused for a moment, hesitating, and then ran into Zooble and wrapped her arms around them.

Tears fell from her eyes. Zooble awkwardly stood there, a short gasp was the only sound they made. After a few seconds, they reciprocated and actually hugged Gangle back.

The aforementioned's simulated heart slammed against her nonexistent chest. She couldn't believe this was happening. She was actually, fully, out of the darkness! And she was even hugging Zooble, not to mention the fact they were hugging back.

Though no words were exchanged physically, mentally the duo were very loud in their minds. Gangle in particular was screaming, many thoughts running through her mind but most of them currently focusing on Zooble. The ones that weren't were simply too complex and hard to deal with for her at the moment.

Like, 'how did I get out of the cellar?', or 'how did I get here?', and 'do my friends miss me?'. Too many things to ask, so she just savoured this moment. This moment of simplicity and ease that helped her to calm down. All of this - abstraction, the cellar, being chased by an abstraction with the intent to kill her, being unable to escape, somehow ending up here, Zooble, - was all too much.

For now, this was easiest. This wasn't painful or confusing. This was safe and secure and recognizable. Nothing about this was unfamiliar - other than the fact that for once Zooble hugged back. Like, Gangle always hugged and snuggled them, but they usually wouldn't do anything back. This time, this time was different in a good way.
 
"Gangle," Zooble started, but stopped right after. Then they sighed and let the ribbon girl hug them tighter, because Gangle wasn't ever going to let go. And then they continued their sentence prior.

"You're not real, are you?"

Notes:

Gonna be a long, painful road ahead. Had to leave you all on a cliffhanger, because I've got a LOT in store soon.

Notes:

I do *not* know how to write Caine; sorry if he's out of character. Also, feel free to critique my works. I appreciate any and all feedback.
Gonna try to update every day, but might lag behind every now and then. Who knows.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of The Amazing Digital Pain ✨