Child of the void

by TardisGhost

Summary:

The Master chases, the Doctor runs. That's how it has always been, that's how it will always end.
So the Master binds himself to a human woman instead. Not on purpose mind you. And there is also the fact that he... well, killed her.
But maybe, just for once, the universe will set things right.

Notes:

I'M BAAAACK!
Yes, I'm physically unable to stop writing and, once again, I will make this your problem.

Explicit chapters will be marked with an E (if you want to skip them. Or skip towards them ;P

For the rest... mind the tags. They are there for a reason ;D

Chapter 1: Part I - Something ends, something begins --- E

The Master pushed open the door to the TARDIS with a careful gentleness that not many ever witnessed from him. It wasn't easy, with no free hands. A weary look lay in his eyes and yet he seemed refreshed. No wonder, had he just gotten back a part of his life force he had been missing for so long.

But at what cost?

He glanced down at the lifeless body in his arms. The weight of the young woman was so much heavier than it should be, although now there was even less of her than ever.

The Master quietly walked deeper into the TARDIS, searching for a room he had once found there, a long, oh so long time ago. It seemed like an eternity that he had been here. Then, to escape. Now, to preserve.

A majestic tree stood here, proud, in the centre of a small, lush forest. Not one with silver leaves, not one that reminded him of Gallifrey. No, this one had a more earthen look to it, with a thick, gnarly trunk that told of centuries and a crown as wide as the whole "forest". A creek ran its path next to it, whispering secrets, patiently digging into the ground and vainly hoping that - one day - it may become a river.

A good place, the Master decided. She had always loved water, had always begged to visit lakes and oceans, had wanted to skip stones or just sit there to listen, never getting tired of it. On that fateful day, he had found her by the sea even, bleeding out, willing to leave the world and still too enamoured with it to die anywhere else.

And he had brought her back.

Only to take the life he had given her for himself again.

Careful not to stumble, the Master walked over grass and sticks until he reached the tree. There he sank to his knees and bedded the body against the ancient wood. She was still in those sailor clothes and it made his hearts twinge for a moment. It looked as if she was just sleeping. With a tender movement that surprised himself, the Master reached his hand out to stroke her cheek.

He recoiled when all he felt was coldness.

---

.

---

"Wake up, Doctor!" The Master called out, annoyed. "We're leaving."

The other Time Lord had, for once, actually done what he had been told and had gone back to the sailing ship to sleep. There was a good amount of alcohol their bodies could just dispose of on command, but some beverages were nasty enough to knock even a Time Lord out. For a bit.

The Doctor groaned and rolled on his back, blinking at the Master. Then he suddenly shot straight and blushed bright red, drawing the thin cover higher over himself. "Wha- what are you doing in here?"

He rolled his eyes. "Waking you, isn't that obvious? And stop being so prude. I saw you naked already. Now get up and fetch your human. We're leaving."

"Why do we need to be awake, though?" the Doctor slurred, maybe from sleepiness, maybe from a rest of ginger. "And why don't you just get her yourself?"

The Master grimaced. "She's just going to slap me again." A hard admission, but it was what it was. And right now he had no desire to harm the red head.

He paused at that thought. This shouldn't even bother him. Actually, it shouldn't even have bothered him to get those two back with him. Sure, his unfinished Vortex Manipulator was powered and stable enough to survive another few jumps, especially since the distance wasn't that big. But those two would surely have managed to get back on their own. This ship, albeit on sailing mode right now, had an engine after all.

Bad influence. That was the reason, he decided, watching the Doctor fumbling for clothes. The usual suit and brown coat. After all these days at sea they surely must smell salty. There was a leaking spot right above their heads, collecting condensed water that now steadily dropped down. With all the salt in the air, who knows, it might grow a stalactite over time.

"You're… not looking."

The Master blinked and turned his head. The Doctor stood there, only in his boxers and the shirt in his hand. No, he hadn't been looking. He didn't care. So he shrugged.

"A second ago you blushed because I saw you under a blanket," the Master grumbled.

"Just surprised, 's all. And…" He struggled for words for a bit and turned away, talking to the floor. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me." The Doctor buttoned up his shirt and reached for the discarded tie, still wearing only boxers otherwise.

Of course he would think like that after blurting out his admission, some hours ago.

The Master felt numb.

All these centuries and he had wanted to hear those words and now that he had gotten them, he wasn't so sure anymore if they even meant anything. Or was he really stricken by his loss of the human he had just laid to rest? That small flame that had managed to illuminate the darkness around him just… enough. Without this light he might have never been able to even accept those words.

The Master stopped thinking. He stepped closer to the other man and grabbed the still loose tie around his neck to drag him down to his eye level. The Doctor stopped all his movements, swallowing, eyes darting towards the door and yet, he stayed. One simple fact and it made the Master feel something he'd rather shove back into an unnamed corner of his self.

"Say it again," he rasped out, momentarily disgusted by how pleading his voice sounded.

"S… say what?" The Doctor trembled slightly.

"Don't play with me." He dropped forwards just the tiniest bit, their noses almost touching.

If he could run, the Doctor probably would, but he was trapped and had no chance, the Master wouldn't let him have one. All those centuries of running and hiding and fighting and then more running, were enough.

"Master," came a plea.

"Say it."

The Doctor inhaled sharply, fixating his eyes on his counterpart. Oh, there were so many emotions swimming in those.

"I… love you."

The Master closed his eyes, inhaling the admission, spoken so softly and yet with a fever that burned so hot it made him squirm and then… lean in. He wanted to taste those words from the Doctor's lips, wanted them to be true like nothing else ever was. His grip on the tie hardened, leaving no room for escape. And, much to his equal delight and surprise, the Doctor didn't even try to. A soft, surprised noise came out of his throat, then he let himself fall, moved his own lips against the Master's, testing, tasting, uncertain if all of this really happened or was only part of a really bad hangover dream.

But no, it had to be real. The Master shoved him backwards against the wooden wall, pressing his own body closer. He wanted the Doctor to be trapped and at his mercy, he wanted to cut off every opportunity to prematurely run away. He wanted his head to be quiet.

None of the force and none of the restriction was necessary. It was as if the Doctor had only waited for the permission to obey the suffocating want that must have gnawed on him for centuries. The Master groaned when an image shot into his mind, of red grass and the smell of lemever flowers. Their minds bristled against one another, squeezing impressions into their heads like heated atoms that catapulted out of their fixed grid. And for just a second the Master was tempted to open up and let their minds pour into each other. Because now what would it matter? All was lost and no reason stayed to keep the boundary any longer.

Except… memories. Too many and too precious and too painful to let the Doctor see even a glimpse of them. It was too soon. It would be too soon in a hundred years and more. So the Master closed off his mind and instead used his body to substitute at least a fracture of the closeness he seeked. He pressed his leg against the Doctor's crotch and suppressed another groan when he found the man hard and ready, throbbing and willing.

Not what he had expected. And that alone rushed through the Master with a fierceful fire he could and did not want to tame right now.

His hand flew downwards, groping its way over the boxers and then, deliciously slowly, inside. There wasn't even a protest. The Doctor let out a sigh and dropped his head backwards. Such a good angle to bite that exposed neck, to nibble and suck and kiss along every inch of it. And the Master did exactly that, eliciting more sighs and soft moans from the Doctor, all while ignoring his own aroused state.

"W-wait," panted the Doctor, right as the Master was busy creating an especially pretty bruise on his skin.

"I waited long enough," growled the Master.

"No, w-wa… ohhhh." His words drowned in a moan when the Master sank his hand lower to cup his balls and squeeze.

"Not letting you run away again."

"Master."

"That I am."

And still, somehow the Doctor managed to softly push him away, just enough so their eyes could meet. Eyes that were almost completely black from desire. But no fear. "Lay down?"

It was all he asked and the Master blinked stupidly for a second, his gaze wandering to the messy bed. The sight made his guts twist.

"No." Too intimate. He was not here to be soft and gentle. He was here to claim this man, make him his. Mark him like prey.

To his surprise, the Doctor just nodded. He didn't stay as passive as before, however. No longer just a deer in the headlights. He shifted his weight to the side a little, giving the Master better access to himself, while also being able to fumble with the button of the other one's pants. The Master wasn't sure for a moment if he should allow it, but by all stars! That burning look in the Doctor's eyes! It made his knees weak and also made him too aware of the throbbing in his own too tight pants.

"It's only half the fun otherwise," the Doctor rasped out, having the audacity to wink.

And, oh, those long fingers, they made such quick process with that button. And the zipper. The Master closed his eyes, giving in to the sensation of wandering fingers and how the pressure lessened as soon as he got freed from the confines of cloth. Cold air hit him, but was then covered by the Doctor's warm hand and the heat he made flow through every single vein like liquid fire.

The Master buried his head in the Doctor's neck and breathed in the scent of this unfamiliar body, muffling all those involuntary noises there. How long had he waited for this? Not this precisely, but… all of it. Them, together, somewhere, not running, not fighting - except for not being the first to cum. The Master wasn't sure he would last that long. For a second he contemplated just letting go, maybe even allowing his body to produce semen for once, like they had sometimes done during the academy, to annoy the other, to soil and mark them. Primitive as it might be.

"Don't you dare," muttered the Doctor, his voice playfull. He remembered it too. Or maybe could see an image swim through their connected skin. It was impossible to close off completely with another Time Lord.

The Master chuckled. "Only if you stop struggling."

An indignant noise came out of the Doctor's throat, followed by his grip tightening, his pace speeding. But so did the Master's. They were both long past any point of coherence, both clinging to the strands of control they had trained for centuries.

Powerplay.

The Master smirked, then he bit down hard on the Doctor's shoulder, making him buck and slip for a delicious second. He heard a yelp and a whimper and the shaft in his hand pulsated hot and rapidly. The Master bathed in the sensation and finally allowed himself to let go as well, thrusting into the Doctor's hands one more time before he slowed, shuddering and tumbling into a delicious moment of almost silence. For seconds his own heartbeat was louder than the drums, or was it the Doctor's?

It didn't matter.

They returned eventually and the Master pushed himself away from the Doctor, bringing his clothes back in order in the process. Surely the other one would scold him or try to argue or whatever nonsense, but he already planned to get away, get them all down from this ship and back to the TARDIS to where…

"Can't be the only one who needs to sleep off some alcohol."

The Master shook his head and glanced at the Doctor. "Huh?"

"Oh, don't give me that look." He shyly chuckled. Still leaning against the wall, dishevelled, slightly confused, but with a  strange smile on his lips. "That wasn't a sober action, no matter what you wanna tell."

No… no, of course it wasn't. Nothing this evening had been. There was nothing rational about all of this. And suddenly the realisation of everything he had done washed over the Master, the adrenalin, the fear, the pain, the remnants of hormones in his bloodstream, the ice cold shards that sat where his hearts used to be.

Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden?

What had he done?

Why had he taken his life force from her?

Why had he ran to the Doctor?

Why had he allowed himself to lose that much control, why had….

"Master!"

He winced and looked up. Two hands grabbed his shoulders. The Doctor's worried face loomed over him. The Master blinked again, taking one deep breath to calm himself. It didn't help and his reaction made the other man retreat, hesitantly, carefully; It looked as if he pondered about every reason why he might have messed up.

No, no, it wasn't the Doctor who had…

The Master shook his head and groaned, driving his hands into his hair and gently dropping forward against the Doctor's shoulder. Fuck. He needed this, he needed someone to keep him from doing something really stupid. Maybe even more so than burning up an entire planet because he had thought he could bring back… no, bad train of thoughts.

"Don't… don't run away," the Master ground out. "I can't stand it. I can't keep running after you."

There was a moment of hesitation, but then the other one moved and put a hand in the Master's neck, gently stroking skin. "I'm not sure how," he feebly admitted and chuckled. "I'm not even sure you're here for… For what even? Why did you just…" He huffed out an unspoken question.

That made the Master laugh, finally. He couldn't help himself there. It wasn't a loud laugh, barely a sound at all. "Because I wanted to." He fixated the other Time Lord with his eyes. "Because you let me. I've…" He pressed his eyes shut and ground his teeth. There were so many words that refused to leave his star's damned mouth! "It wasn't me who ran. That was always you."

It had to be enough, for now. The Doctor visibly swallowed. Another drop from the ceiling hit the ground. "Then…" His tongue darted over his lips. "Let's not run at all." And he nodded towards the bed. "Get sober again, see how we think then. Or… oh, right, you wanted to leave."

"Not important. That can wait." The Master walked the two steps backwards and dropped down on the mattress. "You're right. I'm not functioning properly. I can fix this, I can… No… no, no, no, it doesn't matter, not now." His eyes met the Doctor's and he couldn't help the crooked grin. It was hilarious that he was offered to sleep here without a second thought. "I could murder you in your sleep."

The Doctor only smiled. "I know. Now move over a bit."

He did, allowing him to crawl under the blanket.

"Almost like in our old dorm room."

The Master huffed and turned towards the wall. "Absolutely not. Otherwise we wouldn't sleep at all."

"Mhm… probably." The blanket rustled and moved. "I know it's too much too soon… But… can I… Oh, don't listen, just blame it on the alcohol."

It didn't take the Master long to guess what that rambling was about. Soon he felt the Doctor shuffle closer, but still far away enough not to touch him. The Doctor didn't dare to. But the proximity, it was close enough to let the Master feel his presence. And he hated himself for finding comfort in it.

Notes:

Small note: This story can be read as a standalone, although it's a sequel to Soul's Shadow. I try to explain the important bits when they are necessary.
This way you won't have to fight through the previous 158 chapters *cough*

Another note: For a big part this will be written from first person's perspective. But at the start we will follow the Master around for a bit. (Because I want to)

Chapter 2: Part I (II)

Notes:

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but ehhhhhhhh, whatever. The next chapters will hopefully make up for it.

Also, happy new year everyone!

The Master made a mental note to not get drunk again anytime soon, if ever again. The evening on the small island had been fun, no doubt about that, but now there was something missing. And he wasn't entirely sure if his way of coping, some hours before wouldn't slap him in the face all too soon.

Images of the past haunted his sleep while his body got rid of the toxin. Images of how he had stumbled over this stupid woman somewhere in a too small town. She had looked more like a boy with the short pixie cut and the nerdy glasses. And then that thing also possessed the audacity to have the same name as his former wife. As if the Master needed any reminder of that one. He dreamed of the moment he found that girl again, somewhere by the ocean, red blood dripping from her wrists, telling him to just let her die.

But the Master couldn't. Not when he had felt something in her mind cry out. Something that felt like it belonged to him. A mystery. And so he had broken the promise to let her sleep and had pushed some of his own life force inside this dying body to bring her back. To find out why the heck he would ever go and leave some sort of marker inside that human's mind to begin with.

He had never found out, in the end. Not really. He also had never planned to get attached to the little ape. But she had refused to stay away from him, too fascinated, too lonely, too curious. Even when he had scared her, she had always come back.

Something shifted atop of his chest. The Master slipped out of the not-sleep half dream, realising two things. First, the alcohol was gone. His body had done its job. Second, an arm lay over his chest, and it was attached to a certain Time Lord who slept soundly next to him.

The Master scrunched up his nose, contemplating pushing the arm away. When had it happened, anyway, that he allowed anyone to get so close to him? Not long ago and he wouldn't have even thought about staying the night, no matter the circumstances. It all had changed over the past year. The ape had made him soft, he decided. It was time to change that again.

Abruptly, he sat up and tossed the Doctor's arm down, startling him awake.

"Wh's happn'd?"

"I'm not your cuddle toy," the Master grunted, earning himself only a confused look.

The Doctor sat up and rubbed over his face with both hands, then looked up and suddenly beamed. "Hello there. Still here?"

Alright, this situation was uncomfortable. The Master really didn't want to talk. Not about why he hadn't left to sleep somewhere else, not about what they had done the previous evening and most certainly not about what this might mean to the way they now stood with one another.

"Tea?"

"Huh?"

"You want some tea?" The Doctor still wore that stupid smile.

"No. We don't have time for this nonsense. Let's get back to the TARDIS. Grab your human and I'll fetch my Vortex Manipulator, we'll meet on deck in ten minutes."

With that the Master slipped into his shoes and enjoyed a few seconds of stunned silence, that, of course, didn't last.

"You still have that thing? I thought I took it away." The Doctor winced subtly, as if the thought reminded him of the state of prisoner the Master had held up until now. "And why such a hurry all of a sudden?"

The Master just shrugged. "I have enough of boat trips."

"Mhm… right… right then. I'll get Donna."

He didn't really listen.

Waves lazily sloshed against the ship, muffled by wood and metal. Each one was slow, taking its time to draw out the eternal movement. Something inside the ship creaked, maybe one of the countless wooden beams or planks, sighing out the burden of holding the ship together. The Master closed his eyes and sank into the sea of noises, just breathing. Was there a seagull? No, this planet didn't have them. He needed to stay calm, needed to focus. What were the next steps? What options did he have?

The waves didn't care. Time slowly ticked by, unfazed. Not even the wood gave him the answer.

Probably because he already knew.

None.

It was that simple, for once. There was no way to bring back the dead.

The Master pinched the bridge of his nose and fought down the drumming, pushed it back to a part of his mind he could almost ignore. That had to be enough. He couldn't allow them to take his mind… again. He needed to stay clear, so he could listen to something else, something that sat deep inside of him. To the tiny spark of life force he had once given away, only to take it back on a whim.

It had seemed like it would work. Every strand of his mind had felt it. A whisper in the darkness of a shared space, intertwined and one.

Now, this tiny spark was no longer preserving a life. It sat inside his chest, somewhere, one with the rest of his life force. And yet… yet it was to him as if he could make it out. A little light that had been touched by another person and was now, forever, changed.

How could he have known?

The Master listened into time. Two minutes had passed since the Doctor had left. Another stupid decision. It would be a good idea to get up and move out of this cabin, away from the memory of a heated moment. They hadn't shared intimacy like that since they had been young. Buried days in red grass. Like an old human photograph, those with the sepia tint.

He huffed at the thought. Time Lords were rulers over time itself, but it were the humans who had invented a colour for nostalgia.

The Doctor hadn't run last night. Not like he had done in all those centuries before. Whenever they crossed paths, whenever there was the danger of getting too close, no matter in what way. The Doctor had always run.

But not this time.

---

.

---

"Oi, what's with the sudden hurry?" blurted Donna as soon as she saw the Master. "I thought we were havin' a nice vacation." Her eyes searched the deck of the ship until her eyebrows rose high. "'N where' S Lucy? Not on the island still?"

"No." It was all the Master said, although he knew it wouldn't be enough. They glared at him with a thousand yet unspoken questions. And he couldn't tell them, not about what was true, anyway. But that didn't matter. The Master knew how to craft a well working lie. Take some strands of truth and weave them together into something pretty. "She went home. I brought her back last night."

Bravo, his voice hadn't shown the tiniest crack, not a single slip.

"Home?" Donna repeated, mouth hanging open. "Why would she go home to that horrible woman? Is she… oh, no wait… I thought it had been her dad who had died, but it was… her mom. What? This is confusing. I can't remember which one's right."

"Because both are true." The Doctor gritted his teeth, hands buried deep inside his pockets. He fixated the Master with a glare. "You changed her past."

There you go. A truth he could literally feel. What better ruse was there? "It wasn't my idea. And if someone tells me they want to kill their abusive, violent mom, who am I to say no?" The Master produced his nastiest grin. "Oh, come on, Doctor. There's nothing wrong about this. One monster died and therefore her father still lives. She gets a place to stay, a family, a happy end." He made sure to put some extra drama into the last words.

"It could have caused some severe damage to her timeline," the Doctor grumbled. "You know that as well as I. "What if that had erased her from the current events?"

The Master shrugged. "I'm still a Time Lord. Of course I checked the time streams, duh! Can we go back now?"

"She could at least have said goodbye." Donna pursed her lips. I'll miss her. And her little dragon too."

Right. He hadn't seen the small fletching ever since he had come back from the TARDIS. Maybe it had left, now that its guardian wasn't there anymore. The Master didn't really care. When he had stolen the egg from the corpse of the dragon, he had hoped to raise a weapon, but instead the thing was only as big as a rat and far from dangerous.

"We could still just sail back to the TARDIS." The Doctor eyed the Vortex Manipulator with a sceptic look. "It doesn't look like it can carry three people."

"You think so?" The Master lifted the lid to the mainboard, showing its wiring. "Worked fine for two. A third shouldn't be a problem."

To his surprise, the Doctor smirked. And he didn't like that, at all. Usually, the Doctor wasn't the smartest with engineering. That had always been the Master. And they both knew it. Which could only mean that he was overlooking something.

"Your fuse will break if you carry us all," said the Doctor, tapping against the display. "Last time you travelled with one human. Now we have two Time Lords."

"And one human," chimed in Donna.

"Ugh. No, I haven't calculated that in, crap." The Master checked the device's bowels, but could find no flaw in the Doctor's reasoning. They were trapped on board of this ship. "I could still travel alone and lea-"

"Oh, don't you dare, moon boy! You're the only one who knows how to sail this thing!"

"It doesn't need sailing," groaned the Master. "It has an engine. The sailing was just for fun."

"What's so bad 'bout it anyway, all of a flippin' sudden? You stole the damn thing!"

"It stopped being fun."

"Ah, cause your girlfriend left, I see."

The Doctor trod between the two, holding his hands up to soothe them. "Don't fight, please. Master, give me your Vortex Manipulator, I go and get the TARDIS, then we can all return."

"So you can keep it and trap me again?" the Master snarled. He held the device out of reach. It didn't matter what was between them, if anything true at all. He didn't want to be a prisoner any longer.

The Doctor's face fell and took on that look of a lost puppy it so often had in that regeneration. Once, he had promised there wouldn't be any cuffs anymore, but he had never released the Master from his state as a prisoner.

Except for last night, when he had simply accepted that the Master would leave.

So maybe…

"You'll get it back." The Doctor did not avert his gaze and he did not shrink. If anything, he seemed to grow a little; the decision was made.

Time relentlessly ticked by. The Master was aware of every nuance of its passing. His counterpart had chosen. So what would his own move reveal? For centuries they had known nothing but the fight… and the running. Two opposing forces, eternally spiralling around each other.

Until three little words had been spoken.

And one little flame had died.

The Master opened the clasp of his wristband and held the device out to the Doctor, who took it with a firm nod and disappeared.

The choice, he realised, had been made long ago. And if the Doctor was willing to accept him, or at least try to, then maybe…

Yeah, maybe.

That was all he had, right now. But it also was more than he had had all those years since they travelled together.

He could work with that.

Chapter 3: Part I (III)

"Stop that, it's annoying."

The Master looked up and met Donna's dark look. She nodded towards his fingers that drummed a constant four-beat against the ship's wood. He hadn't even noticed doing it. And now that he knew it annoyed the human he only gave her a mocking grin and drummed even louder against the railing.

Donna's brows drew so close that the Master wondered if they would make a small 'clonk' sound when hitting together. The thought made him giggle, much to her annoyance.

"Why do I even bother with you!" She threw her hands up in exasperation and let them fall again with a grunt.

"Because you're an awful do-gooder like all of the Doctor's tagalongs." The Master stifled another giggle. "You think that he, or maybe even you, can make me better. That's what they all think."

"Being a little less of a prick really wouldn't do you harm," scolded Donna. "Maybe Lucy wouldn't have chosen home instead of you then."

Ouch! That woman could throw a punch. And it would have hurt, had it been the truth. He wouldn't tell her that the girl had chosen to stay with him.

And that it had been himself who had destroyed the opportunity on a stupid whim.

Luckily the TARDIS landed, right in time to keep him from doing something awful to the human, just to shut her up. The Doctor stepped out, nodding satisfied when looking at the time machine. Over the years his driving skills had become a little better, the Master had to admit. They were still far from being decent, however.

Without another word he shoved past the other Time Lord, nudging him with a shoulder on the way. He heard the red head spitting words again, but didn't care. He just wanted to get lost in the library and fetch some earbuds to drown out the drumming with music. If he turned the volume loud enough the incessant beating of four wouldn't reach his consciousness.

For a while.

Because, right now, they did their best to slither into the forefront of every thought that dared to appear inside his mind. Like an inferno they rose to new heights, burning down every strand of him, one by one. Sometimes it just was like this. Then they would overwhelm him, force him to his metaphorical knees for hours.

The moment the music started playing, the Master felt relief wash over him. One ear bud, then the next, and a blanket of notes and harmonies was thrown over the beating of four. It never vanished, though. If he listened close enough, the drums were still audible, no matter how loud his environment was.

So many rows in this vast library. One thing the Doctor had done right, as he had to admit; collecting all those volumes of stories and knowledge from all around the universe. The Master closed his eyes and let the music run through his veins. It was a strong beat, something the people of esoloparia used to dance to when their planet had still been young. It was like a heartbeat of its own, guiding his fingertips as they ran over the spine of the books he passed by.

There. This one. The beat sped up and the texture his fingers touched felt warm, soothing. The Master drew the book out with care, admiring the silver letters on its cover. One of the works from a woman called Agatha Christie, a favourite of his, although from earth. It would be a good distraction.

---

.

---

A subtle shadow on the beige pages captured the Master's attention. Ignoring it wouldn't be an option; he was aware of that. And still, he wished there would have been a little more time, a few more melodies, another page.

With a barely concealed sigh the Master lifted his head and removed the earplugs. Slow. First one, drawing out the moment, then the other, dreading the overwhelming pounding of the drums already. And there they were - one, two, three, four - one, two, three, four.

He took a breath - it was bearable - and looked up. His finger stayed between the pages when he closed the book, a vague hope that would be utterly in vain, of course.

"What do you want? I'm busy."

Oh how he wanted to slap that smug grin out of the Doctor's… No, wait, that expression was neither smug nor a grin. It was… uncertain, shy almost.

"That's one for the books," mocked the Master and finally laid aside the one he was holding. "The Doctor, speechless before me." He shuddered dramatically, grinning. "I need to burn that image into my head."

Actually, he really wasn't sure whether or not this was the first time. And if not, the last instance of this happening must have been a long time ago. A very long time.

The Doctor snorted and a twinkle returned to his eyes. "I know what to say. I'm just not sure which how is appropriate."

Appropriate. The Master dipped his head to the side, considering the taste of this word. It was about something important then. Important enough to tear him out of his drumless bliss. Ironic, considering the man before him didn't even believe in their existence.

"Oh right." The Doctor pulled up his sleeve, revealing the Vortex Manipulator. The Master's eyes curiously followed every movement now, already preparing to just knock him out to get the thing. But the Doctor loosened the strap and held out the device to him, his expression guarded. "I fixed the melted wire, but I'm afraid it won't be any good for long without some extra components. But… I guess you knew that before."

The Master reached for the Manipulator, his hand taking a moment longer than necessary to grab it. Every second, every movement was an opportunity for the Doctor to take it back and let the thing vanish with a derisive grin.

It never happened. The Master closed his hand around the strap and drew it closer, blinking at it as if he couldn't quite believe what he saw… and experienced. Could this be another sort of trap? Had the Doctor put a tracker inside?

"I didn't touch it." As if he had read the thought. "Aside from the little fix." He sighed and deflated like a tired balloon.

The Master nodded to the free spot on the sofa next to him. The Vortex Manipulator landed on the face of whatever old woman Miss Christie had imagined to be the protagonist of her book. Both items weren't that interesting at that moment. He could take a look later to find out if really nothing was altered. His focus was now on the man he thought he knew so well and yet managed to break his expectations time and time again.

The Doctor sat down with folded hands that he watched intensely. "I… wanted to talk."

"You talk all the bloody time."

The other one shook his head. A grim smile graced his lips. "Usually I'm more of a runner."

"Mhm… I noticed."

That was it. The amount of words he had found seemed to be exhausted. Instead, the Doctor kneaded his hands.

How annoying.

"Spill it already," groaned the Master. "What's it this time? 'Here, have your means to fuck off, but I'd rather you stay my prisoner, because I can't bare to be responsible for whatever you're going to do out there?'" He huffed. "Tell you what? You aren't. My decisions are my own, so is whatever I decide to do."

The Doctor's head snapped up. "That… wasn't even on my mind, no. I said I wasn't going to stop you. And I won't. I just wanted to…"

There they were. The conditions.

"Actually… just wanted to apologise. Shouldn't have gotten so drunk last night. It just uh… happened."

Well, alright. That was not what the Master had expected. So he shrugged. "You're an adult. You've been officially given the title of Time Lord. That's authority enough to do with yourself whatever the heck you want. At least if it doesn't kill you. Because then you really get a problem. With me." He ended the sentence with a sweet grin that he knew was verging on predatory.

"Y… yeaaaaah. I knooow." The Doctor grunted and buried his face in his hands, making his next words a little hard to hear. "But I said so many stupid things. I was out of control. I shouldn't be like that."

Oh, so there was the issue. The Master nodded to himself. This wasn't surprising, really. He had actually wondered how long it would take the Doctor to steer backwards and deny everything that had happened. Or, well, blame it on a slightly altered state of consciousness that, frankly, doesn't affect Time Lords that much anyways.

No, he wasn't surprised. It still stung.

"So, just forget about it?" the Master offered, trying to keep his voice level. He would not give him ammunition. The Doctor looked up and regarded him with a blank stare. "You know what? I might even play along and let it slip and refrain from using it against you next time we fight."

"You could really just… forget?"

The Master laughed. "That makes it easier." Oh, this was hilarious. And cruel. Toss him one crumb and then sweep it away, demand to forget it had ever existed. However, cruelty was something he understood.

"Stop laughing at me," whined the Doctor.

But he couldn't. He giggled to himself, trying to hold his sanity together. The drums were loud again. They did not like this. Not one bit. The Doctor leaned closer, probably to shut him up. But the Master didn't care, he would not be silenced, even when it meant… to have lips pressed against his own.

The laugh died in his throat. His eyes opened to meet a freckled face. One with a noticeable red tint to it. His lips were warm, careful, yet firm. It would be so easy to just respond. Everything inside of him screamed for it. The Master raised his hands… and pushed the Doctor away. "That… I'd call sending mixed signals. What the…?"

It should have been impossible, but the Doctor took on an even deeper shade of red. "I never said I want you to forget." He glanced away, but didn't retreat, his upper body still lingering above the Master, his head still impossibly close. "It was… when I saw you two so comfy together… And you wanted to leave… and…"

"So, you're not going to… take it back?" Fuck that light crack in his voice!

Of course the Doctor had heard it too. Smiling, he shook his head. And that was enough. The Master didn't need and didn't want to hear another word. He grabbed the Doctor's stupid tie and dragged him towards him again, resuming what he had interrupted. With the difference that he was now not only responding but also taking the upper hand. There came a surprised, yet satisfied and muffled hum. The Doctor didn't fight it, quite the opposite. He kept up quite right and even was so bold to use his tongue. Damn thing! The Master groaned into his open mouth, dragging the Doctor closer, but then decided differently and instead pushed him backwards, following without ever breaking or even slowing the kiss.

He only did when the Doctor laid on his back, below the Master, helpless and trapped. Just as he had imagined oh so many - too many - times already. But in those daydreams there had been no snogging. There had been… His hands around that way too thin neck, squeezing, waiting for a plea to stumble from blue-turning lips. The drums approved, getting louder and more intense. Take it, take it, take it, take it. Another one on the counter, another soul he would never feel again…

The Master shot backwards, panting. It took him every ounce of willpower to fight down the urge to make his vision true. The pounding in his head demanded it, his heartbeat underlined the thought, drumming just as loud.

"Hey." Gentle hands wrapped around his own that were clawed into his hair. "What's wrong? Did I do-"

"No-ooh," the Master groaned. Not again. He could not take a life again. Not one that mattered so much. How many losses did it take for him to finally stop? "Go. Just go until they're quiet again."

The Doctor let his hand sink, taking its warmth away too. But what did it matter? He wouldn't believe him anyway. There was no use. He just wanted to put those ear plugs back in and drown the drums in blood and chaos.

"No! No, I don't." He shook his head, pressing both hands over his ears as if that would stop anything.

"Master."

"GO!" He groaned. "I will hurt you otherwise."

And then the Master wasn't sure anymore if he had truly gone insane on a whim. The Doctor spoke again, but his words didn't want to make sense, didn't seem to reach his brain in the proper order. Those were just scrambled letters, nonsense without any meaning. Too quiet in the deafening rhythm. But no, no, it wasn't like that. He heard it perfectly well. It was simply impossible to accept.

"Let me hear them."

Chapter 4: Part I (IV)

"Let me hear them." The Doctor's voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes wouldn't move high enough to see more than the folded hands in his lap.

The Master was going insane, wasn't he? "First you speak about love, although we both know you have no bloody clue what that even is, and then you suddenly want to hear the drums after claiming they are nothing but insanity for centuries." Madness. A drop of impossible slipping through the ever repeating hell inside his head.

This time the Doctor did look up. Those chocolate coloured orbs were so full of sorrow and regret, it would be spectacular to dim their light and drench them in red. So much red red red red.

"Fuck off, Doctor."

"No. Not anymore."

He should be thrilled with joy. He should bathe in the victory of finally having this idiot listening! But he wasn't, he didn't. It wasn't right. He couldn't let the Doctor tap into his mind. Not that far, not that deep, not anywhere at all. The Master didn't want him to see, didn't want him to feel, to taste, to listen to all the traces Lumin had left there each time they had shared minds. He couldn't let himself accept that she was gone.

And that his recklessness was the reason for that. His his his his! The drums repeated, over and over again. You killed her, killed her, killed her, killed her.

And he was about to do it again. The Master slapped the Doctor's hand away with much more force than necessary. He didn't want to be touched. He shoved the other Time Lord from him. He didn't want him to be close. He fought and struggled and tried to bite, raging like a rabid animal against the Doctor's efforts to calm him down.

For once he didn't want to break him.

"Get off!" he shouted. "Don't touch me!"

"Master, please. Please calm down. I can help. Let me help you."

There was no help.

Du - du - du - du.

There were only the drums. Loud as ever.

Du - du - du - du.

Du - du - du - du.

"Shove your help elsewhere!" He pushed back again, grabbing the Doctor's wrist, just barely holding back on breaking them. He wouldn't stop, he wouldn't manage to keep himself from lashing out. The drums were too angry. There would be another death, it would be his doing. Again again again again!

But he was not dealing with a human here. The Doctor was equal in strength to him. He managed to wrestle the Master down and straddle him, using his whole weight to hold him in place. And when the Master tried to fight him off with his hands, those the Doctor grabbed too and pinned them down, panting as hard as the Master. Succeeding. They were equal. And the Master was weakened, wrecked by the raging chaos in him. And now also the pure, liquid hate that burned through his veins. How dare the Doctor! How dare he constrain him like that!

"Get. Off!" He growled.

"No."

The Master tried again to throw him down, tried to arch upwards, tried to free his hands, but all struggles were in vain. And it made him furious. And desperate. He couldn't let him see.

"Stay out of my head!" The Master exclaimed instead, when he accepted that fighting wouldn't help him. The Doctor would see. He couldn't. He wasn't allowed to see the pain he was fighting down ever since he had brought the lifeless body inside the TARDIS. He wasn't allowed to know what he had done. He wasn't allowed to trample over the last thing he had left, even if it were only psychic remains.

The startled look in the Doctor's eyes made him finally calm a little. "I… wasn't going to just look, idiot. His voice was surprisingly soft."Or to intrude on your and Lucy's connection, if that's your concern."

The Master released a deep breath, suddenly fighting down tears. It didn't even matter. The girl would never return anyway. It was no use to value their former mental connection. But that was the problem, wasn't it? The drums only confirmed the question, relentlessly pounding through him, an eternal punishment.

The Doctor spoke again, his voice breaking through the raging storm of chaos. "And you can't hurt me." It was a fact, not a reassurance. The Doctor's eyes fell down, his voice did too, as he muttered, "Not unless I let you."

And somehow that actually calmed the Master down. He gritted his teeth, but then breathed out, slumping in the tight grip he was caught in. No, he couldn't hurt anyone, trapped as he was right now. He couldn't. And for once in his lifes he felt relief about the fact.

"You can't look," he rasped out. "It's mine. It's all mine."

"Then guide me."

The Doctor leaned closer down, hesitated for just a moment and then planted a soft kiss against the Master's lips. A spark lay within it, a thought, a quick mental reassurance. For a moment the Master wanted nothing more but to shred through the Doctor's barriers and make his mind burn for the audacity of making him feel so helpless and weak, and yet, at the same time he longed for nothing more than for one of his kind to hear the drums. He knew for a while now that they were real, had to be, but learning it from a human was another thing than to learn it from a Time Lord.

And suddenly that one thought was all consuming and he bent upwards as far as he could, catching the Doctor's mouth anew, right as he wanted to leave. He coaxed him into following him back down, ignoring his restrained hands, ignoring everything. As soon as their lips touched the Master opened up and flooded his mind into the Doctor's. The other man was waiting, ready, expecting the intrusion or probably even welcoming it. There was a gasp, from whom no one could tell. At first it was more of a dripping, black ink slowly dissolving in another mind. Then, after the initial shock, it started to feel like he was a being of nothing but smoke, vanishing from his own vessel to fully spread inside another one. And the Doctor did the same. Where the Master felt himself vanishing, there now was the Doctor and vice versa. They became one and both and neither, and were yet separated enough to still tell what belonged to whom.

The Master shielded his thoughts, carefully put them behind doors and locks and bubbles. Whatever suited them right. As he dragged the Doctor's mind deeper and deeper he made sure to blur and censor everything he didn't want him to see or know or feel. There was only the weight of another body on top of him, warm lips moving and their beings, intertwined like they hadn't been since they had been in their first century of life, still children, knowing of nothing, but ever so curious.

The Master absently noticed how different this was, compared to the times he had shared his mind with Lumin. A human couldn't shield themselves like Time Lords could. The Doctor ran no risk of getting lost in another one's mind forever. They shared the same space, they were as one as not many species might ever experience and still… It was not as complete, not as intense. The walls between them still existed, still separated, still shielded. They had control, despite their kiss getting fiercer, despite the Doctor having let go of his wrists and the Master promptly using the opportunity to drag the other one closer by his bum. They sank deeper without ever getting lost, without ever truly merging into a shared mind.

And in the not quite darkness, in the dancing sparks of consciousness, there in the tiny gap between alive and whatever came after, there were the drums, ever repeating, relentlessly tormenting him. The Doctor froze above him, almost retreated. Their contact got less and more at the same time. The spreading stopped and got replaced by probing, searching, focus.

I can hear them.

Yeah.

It didn't need saying. The four beat rhythm resounded through them both with such a strength that there would be no point in denying them any longer. The Doctor lingered there, a waft of fear washing through their connection. But he didn't run.

What are they? It doesn't feel like they even belongs to you.

No shit, Doctor.

Of course they didn't belong there. The schism had shoved them into his head as a child, after all. That was the perfect opposite of belonging there. And whatever they were, they did not like to be observed. Like the punishment of an ancient, wrathful God they roared up, bled through every strand of the two Time Lords, burning, tearing, slicing. The sound intensified the longer the Doctor stayed there. And, eventually, he had no choice but to back off.

The Master guided their minds to the surface, to where the waters of memories did no longer threaten to spill over. Here they could exist and swim, float. Here they could be together without hurting each other, because each harm would befall them both equally.

"You feel sad," the Doctor breathed against his lips. "Doesn't it thrill you to know?"

The Master huffed. "I knew long before already. You just never wanted to believe it."

"Because Lucy's just human. She can't tell if you project."

And there he was wrong, thought the Master. Lumin had definitely been able to tell. The human had been skilled with reading the psychic waves. Not that he had ever told her that. But, for a human, she had been exceptionally capable and also a quick learner. Instinct and too much empathy might have helped with that. But the thought of her just darkened his mood.

"There it is again," mumbled the Doctor. He still literally sat on the Master, but now his eyes had that spark again, that one they always had when he was about to understand something. "You're miffed cause she left."

"None of your business," the Master growled, wrapping his hands around the Doctor's middle to draw him closer down again. He gave him a wicked grin. "I don't need a useless human when I can have you."

The Doctor let out a short, humourless laugh. "The consolation prize?" He tried to struggle free, but without using his full strength. "I've been drunk. Drunk and stupid and maybe a little jealous."

"You still meant it." The Master let his grip lose and instead cupped the Doctor's face, stroking his thumb over light stubble. "Say it again."

"No!" He shot backwards. "Forget I ever said it."

"Never."

The Doctor whimpered. "Please?"

"But then you start running again." The Master trailed a finger over the other man's chest, lightly scratching the buttons of the dress shirt. "Then I can't have you so close anymore. Then you won't allow me to kiss you again." His finger wandered lower, stopped just above the button of the pants, looking up to the Doctor's widened eyes. "And do much more to you."

"Drunk," repeated the Doctor, gently guiding the hand away from him, taking it. "Both of us."

The Master shrugged. "It makes you do all the things you wouldn't dare to if you were sober. The things you want."

"Why would you want… me? I fought you for centuries, I foiled all of your plans."

"Not all of them"

"The ones I was present for."

Forever and ever they had fought and played and hunted. A span that outran most species' lifetimes. And still they had ended up here. Together.

The Master chuckled and started to draw small circles against the Doctor's hip bone with his free hand. Last night he had given in to primal want. Their society had taught them to ignore such urges, to completely shut them down so that nothing could ever overtake their rational thinking.

Not even alcohol.

One had given in on his own free will. As had the other.

The Doctor's breath got a tiny bit heavier, his lids fell ever so slightly. Three little words that had changed the world. Their world. But what did they mean? What was the new reality?

Just another game?

"No one but you is my equal." The Master's answer came late. His fingers crawled further, tugging the shirt free so they could roam on skin. Feel the shiver. "You're the only one who can compete." He savoured this moment. It was rare for the Doctor to be at a loss for words. And it wasn't only because he fought to keep his body's reactions at bay. The Master wouldn't let him. "So yes, how could I not want you?"

The Doctor let out a shuddering breath. It would be easy to remove the wandering fingers from his skin, but for some reason he didn't. Maybe it was hope. "You're just toying with me again. If I give in, you'll use it against me."

"Mhm… that's a valid concern." There was no denying it. "No games, this time though." His gaze burned into the Doctor's, his mind shoved reassurance into him. "I might hunt you again, one day, I might try to corner and trap and destroy you just tomorrow." Oh how he couldn't keep his own breath from hitching. The Doctor, sitting on top of him, squirming with shut eyes, fighting himself. The Master removed his hands from under the cloth, only to lay them against the other man's bum and shove him closer, farther up. He wanted to feel him. "But not today. Not now."

And without further warning he grabbed the Doctor and flipped them both. The surprised yelp only made him giggle. The Master gave no chance of escape. He promptly straddled the Doctor, almost the same position as they had held before, only reversed. And with the minor difference that he made sure their mid sections were touching when he bent down to devour the Doctor's mouth.

Oh, it was a struggle to keep his body from reacting too much. The hesitation in the way the Doctor moved, half responded, half trying to get away. How his breath quivered, his legs twitched, his hands digging into the Master's shirt sleeve. Their minds poured out once again, shallow enough to reveal nothing of importance, but present enough to deliver all those delicious emotions, like…

Panic

The Master bit down on the Doctor's lip, tasting blood. And the emotion got stronger. But why did the Doctor not fight if this scared him? Why didn't he struggle if they were equal in strength anyway? It made no sense. And he didn't want to stop. It was too good of a distraction from the drums. And they had not calmed one bit. It was almost the opposite. Did they get…

"Hnggg!" The Doctor shoved against him, breaking the kiss. "Stop! Stop, please. It's too loud." He panted, breath quivering, but not from arousal.

He still heard them.

All this time and all it would have needed to confirm the truth about the drums was a mental connection with another Time Lord. And a weak one at that. What they had just shared hadn't been more than a fleeting touch. The Master glared at the man below him, suppressing the anger that threatened to bubble up. No, he would not give him that. But he would give him something else to taste. The Doctor was still shaking, wide eyed and confused. But it wasn't enough. The Master leaned down, grabbed the Doctor's head with both hands and pressed their foreheads together. And this time he made no effort to keep the drums in the background like he always did. This time he embraced them with their full fury and forced them into the Doctor's mind through their connection.

"Listen," he demanded. "Listen. They are here, every second of my life, every beating of my hearts."

The Doctor gritted his teeth and twitched. A whimper crawled out from his lips. He turned his head, tried to struggle free, but the Master wouldn't let him. He kept the contact, kept the upper hand by nothing more than the small advantage of being used to the torment.

"Master, stop!" His pleading was music. "Please, pl-s, take them… Uhhhhh, take away!" His whimpering turned into pathetic sobs. A lonely tear made its way down his cheek. How long might it take to break him, the Master wondered. How long until he would go insane? Would his head explode? Would his mind burn out like a candle flame?

The last thought was what made the Master stop, in the end. He snapped his hands away and just sat there, staring at the tears and the pain-contorted face below him. A knot formed in his guts. Was that… shame? Was this how it felt?

It probably didn't matter. The only thing that did was that he got away from here. Away from the Doctor, before he had another opportunity to hurt him or do much worse. All this control he loved so dearly, but right now it was gone, slipped through his blood soaked hands and through all the cracks of his own sanity.

The Master fled.

He left the Doctor without another word and ran. A part of him wanted to grab the Vortex Manipulator right there and then to vanish from the TARDIS and all the things that made him weak.

He ended up somewhere else. That night he visited the room again. The one he had time locked, the one with the small forest inside. He stumbled over roots and almost slipped on a wet rock until he came to a halt. In all of time and space there probably was nothing more twisted than to seek solace in a dead body.

The Master sank down in the grass, curling himself up. He didn't want to see or hear anything anymore. For a while he simply wanted to stop existing. Resting.

It was only here that the drums, finally, got quieter again.

Notes:

So... this was one of those times where you plan smut to happen, but then the plot decides.... nope.
Usually it's the other way around xD

Chapter 5: Part II - The unicorn and the wasp

Confusion is a poison that kills you slowly if you can't get past it. Uncertainty is a poison that does not kill you, but will weaken your ability to function, because every little detail suddenly becomes important. Add a Time Lord brain to the equation and you get something that's just plainly unbearable.

The Master sat under the tree, next to the dead body of a human woman, all of it frozen in time. His DNA was the only thing that allowed him to be unaffected by the lock. The drums had calmed down enough to dig up the other thing that tormented his very existence.

Whatever the heck was happening with him and the Doctor.

Centuries ago, when they had been young and inexperienced, they had called it love. Not with words, they would have never dared that. But they had known about it, read stories and seen plays about it. Even a society as theirs couldn't get rid of the very concept. And even when every authority on your entire planet makes sure to paint it as primitive and useless and below every kind of dignity, you still can't escape it. Words weren't needed.

But now? With all their history in place and all the accumulated hate in their bloodstreams, they could impossibly still call it the same. It had to be something else.

Maybe something entirely new.

A relationship that had lasted longer than many civilisations couldn't be defined by simple words or concepts.

And now… now the Doctor had heard the drums. Voluntarily. The Master still had a hard time believing it. This was thrilling. But then his head turned to the side and he saw Lumin again, the one person who had not only refused to stay away from him, no matter how much he scared her, but had also gotten the first glimpse of the drums. By accident at first. Later by choice. No one else had ever done that for him, let alone someone of a lesser species.

He felt numb. Not only because of her. How could it be that the drums still got less prominent around her when she wasn't even there anymore? And how could it be that they just had gotten so much worse as the Doctor had come too close?

It was hardly fair.

He had almost seriously hurt the Doctor by pushing the sound into his head with so much force. And not just hurt - that alone would be more than acceptable. This, however, was no fun. The drums had the power to shatter a mind, to push one into a place of darkness that could sometimes be impossible to escape. What if it had been too much? Madness wasn't curable by regeneration.

He was the best example for that.

---

.

---

The Master did something he usually avoided like the pest, mainly because it was the exact opposite of being in control.

He hid.

For how long this would last he wasn't quite sure yet. But what he did know was that the new found closeness to the Doctor was more dangerous than he had ever considered. Which was no surprise, given the fact that they had done nothing but chasing and fighting each other ever since their paths had split during their academy years. Something the Master wasn't keen on thinking about right now.

The solution was as simple as it was tricky. If you are a species of extraordinary psychic abilities and there is an artificial madness residing within your head then there is only way to keep others of similar (definitely not equal) skill safe from it.

The Master would put a psychic shield around himself. One that was powerful enough to keep the Doctor from ever slipping deeper than the absolutest surface of his mind. The Master would tell him this was because he valued the mental connection with Lumin too much to let the Doctor get a glimpse, and he would probably believe it, sentimental as the idiot could be.

It was the best solution he could come up with. And so he stayed inside his own study, a room he had found years ago and had always been able to keep secret. The TARDIS, for whatever reason, granted him the private space. She had never revealed it to the Doctor. And now it proved to be a good place to practise setting up the barrier.

And to keep digging through all of the works of Agatha Christie.

Much to his dismay, the Master had found himself utterly intrigued by her stories, although, or maybe precisely because, some of them were nothing more but ridiculous. He knew who the murderer was halfway through the story, but found himself intrigued by all the different ways the protagonist had to manoeuvre through lies and deceptions and red herrings.

It was somewhere during the first quarter of a new book when he got dragged out of the distraction. For a fleeting moment he wasn't sure whether he had imagined the sound, but then it repeated and all of his senses went on full alert.

Steps.

Those clearly were steps, shuffling over wood and carpet. They weren't quick and stopped from time to time as if their owner was looking at the books nearby, eyes wandering over names and titles from all over the universe.

The Master closed his eyes and slowly breathed in. Those weren't the Doctor's steps. The man couldn't walk so calmly and he was heavier anyway. His thoughts wandered to another person, the only one he had ever shown this room, the only one the TARDIS had ever brought here, the one he knew loved books and stories as much as he did. And suddenly there was fear creeping up his neck. Before his inner eye appeared the picture of Lumin, how she curiously picked out tomes, how her hands wandered over pressed spines with care and awe. She would put it back and round the corner soon, her small form peeking out from one of the shelves to take a look at him and then…

The Master shook his head and forced himself to open his eyes again. This wasn't possible, after all. And he was right. About this and about that it wasn't the Doctor either.

No, the one rounding the corner, eventually, was the other human the Doctor kept around these days. Donna Noble. The fierce redhead that was too stubborn to be threatened by the Master. She was careful around him, yes, and mostly annoyed, but she didn't let him push her around like most people do.

One reason to hate her.

As if he needed any more than the fact that she was human.

"You're not supposed to be here, ape. I give you ten seconds to explain yourself, before I use lethal actions."

Donna's head snapped in his direction and her eyes widened. "Oi, whaddya doin' here? I was looking for somethin' to read and it looked like the library. Like, for five seconds and then I thought I got it wrong, but the door was just there and-"

The Master groaned. "Stop! That's enough."

"Oh, don't you 'that's enough' me. You wanted to know and were flippin' threatening me, mate!"

"Right…" He pressed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. She made it so hard to not shoot a laser hole right through her head. Annoying. "Now get lost. I want my peace and quiet."

"Mhm, I noticed. And the Doctor's awfully sulky about it. He doesn't say why, but it's obvious and-"

"Why would the idiot be sulky?"

Okay, wrong move. He shouldn't encourage her to stay a single second longer. The opposite, that was what he needed. But after how they had separated, he was rather curious about how and if the other man was showing… well, anything at all.

It was gnawing way too much on the Master and he hated the fact. He had lived well enough without the Doctor around, he had avoided the mere implication of anything else but antagonism to ever exist between them. And just because they had been drunk and stupid…

"... and then he started babbling about this planet again, what's it called? Can't remember. But he went on about… what's that one? I've never read that title and I know'em all, believe me."

The Master shook his head and tried to focus on the rambling woman. "The what?"

"The book." Donna pointed in his direction, or rather at the pile next to him. "Didn't know-"

"What has this to do with the Doctor sulking? And don't start babbling again. I didn't get a word."

The woman huffed and stemmed her fists into her hips. "He's sulkin'! What else could I tell? Just in a bad mood since we left the ship 's all. Thought is has somethin' to do with you. Always seems to have."

"Great… Nothing useful then." He rolled his eyes.

"Listen, mate. If you wanna know how he's feeling, go and ask. Won't kill you, promise."

That bloody… The Master took a deep breath, trying his best not to spring up and snap her neck. His time in the forest-room had quieted the drums a good deal, but they were still annoyingly loud enough to make him have a short fuse.

"And for the book, I've never seen that title. And it can hardly be a new one. She's been dead since forever, after all. And since when are you into Christie? Human literature not beyond your superior understanding of everything?" The last words were spoken in a mocking singsang, accompanied by a strange swaying of her body and arms. It probably was meant to underline the sarcasm.

"It's the only thing humans are good for," he grumbled, cursing himself for even talking to her. "And I think the book is one of those that stopped being published before your time. You wouldn't find a copy anymore."

"Then why do you…? Oh, yeah, time travel. Wait!" Her eyes went wide and wandered hungrily over the book pile again. "One of them? There are more stories of hers that never made it to my time?"

"Three or four of them. They were printed in low numbers and not as popular as the other ones. Although…" The Master couldn't quite remember which of them had exactly vanished in which time. Humans really lived too shortly, which made it hard to keep track of all their nonsense. In the end he simply shrugged. "Might be a few more actually."

Donna's eyes went wide. An expression of hunger and curiosity. "So, you're sayin' if we get back in time to when they still were published…"

"Mhm… The library does miss a few, indeed."

"Then we should ask the Doctor to get them!"

The Master winced at the mention of the other Time Lord. He couldn't face him yet. "I don't think he's going to talk to me, right now." Why did he even tell her?

"You two…" Donna shook her head. "Always fighting. How about I ask him to get us to certain coordinates and then we two go and get those books ourselves?"

"We? Why in the world would I-"

"Cause you look like you need some distraction."

"And what makes you think I'd want to have you tagging behind me? That'd just be annoying."

"Annoying's distracting too."

The Master groaned. This couldn't be happening, could it? On the other hand… he was reaching the end of his book pile rather quickly and a few new ones wouldn't be so bad at all. And he could just - very accidentally - loose the woman somewhere until he was done and return not only with new reading material, but also with his sanity intact.

"Alright, do your doe-eyes on the idiot and I'll see what we'll find."

Notes:

I need those two to go an adventure on their own. 👀
She's SO going to call him out on any bullshit and the Master will be hellishly annoyed all the time. What else could I want?

Chapter 6: Part II (II)

Notes:

I'm really not sure if it's that interesting to read, but I'm having fun putting the Master's perspective into this scenario. Bear with me, we'll return to the TARDIS soon ;P

"Alright, I might be the tiniest bit impressed." The Master tipped his head to the side, taking in the environment outside. "How did you get him to land here and what in the universe have you told him that he's not running around out there this second?"

"Oh, you know. Shopping." The Master raised a brow and Donna gave a nonchalant shrug. "Told him I wanted to see the era's fashion live and in action and see if I can get my hands on something handmade. TARDIS makes good stuff, I have to leave her that, but 's not the same. Speaking of, what ya think?"

"About what?" It was hard to keep his mind focused on whatever that woman was blabbering about. How could anyone talk so much?

"The dress, idiot." She smoothed her hand over a sleeveless whatever. It was brown or dark grey and adorned with fine floral patterns. Not much better than a decorated potato sack.

The Master wrinkled his nose. "Not what I would wear."

"Why, of course not. It would look rather ridiculous on you."

"Hey, I look great in dresses!" he protested. "Given they have style. And we'll…" he added, contemplating his current looks, "maybe not in that body. Most of those aren't cut for a good fit in a… huh? Did you break now?"

Somehow what he had said had actually silenced Donna. She stood there, with her mouth formed into a silent 'o' and her mind seemed to be busy processing something until the process was done with an almost audible pling.

"You… wearing dresses."

"Not now, obviously. I enjoy the fashion they have for my current body type way too much. But I used to, sure. They won't fit you though, or else I would have given you something that is… well, that's not whatever you're wearing here."

"Well… okay then. Whatever. You do you." Donna shrugged and seemed to get herself out of her stupor. "I'm looking good, though! You just have bad taste."

"If you say so." He wasn't going to argue any further. And he definitely had style. This body looked quite dashing in the almost all black suit. Only his dress shirt under the waist coat was blood red.

During their bickering they had finally managed to walk the few hundred steps towards the mansion on the hill. Their destination. According to history, Agatha Christie herself was supposed to be present here by this time. Given the Doctor hadn't messed up the coordinates again. And really, they stumbled right into a bunch of rich snobs who seemed to be preparing to do rich-snob-stuff.

The Master wrinkled his nose at the sight of those people, all thinking they were something special only because they had been born into high status. Or had stolen it.

Whatever. He was used to putting on a mask. And this time was no exception. With the stolen psychic paper from the Doctor and the charming smile he had practised far too much during his time as politician, he had an easy time convincing everyone they belonged here.

"Forgive me, but who exactly might you be, and what are you doing here?" asked an elderly lady.

"Ah, Lady Edisson. It's a pleasure to meet you again. I'm Emil Keller and this is Donna Noble of the Chiswick Nobles."

Donna did a curt nod and suddenly put on a funny accent. "Good afternoon, my lady. Topping day, what? Spiffing. Top hole."

The Master nudged her in the side and growled, "Stop that nonsense."

That woman would get them into trouble in no time. It had been a bad idea to take her along. But for now the Master saw no opportunity to get rid of her and instead focused on the human in front of him, flashing the psychic paper once again.

"We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady," he purred. "We met at the Ambassador's reception."

"Mister Keller, how could I forget you? But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose." Lady Edisson took a sip of her drink.

The Master tilted his head, raising a brow. "A unicorn? That sounds unlikely."

"The Unicorn," emphasised the woman. "The jewel thief? Nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again. Snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose."

"Funny place to wear pearls," came a mumbled joke from Donna, which caused the Master to promptly nudge her again. Not that she would have reacted to that, much to his annoyance.

At least no one paid her any attention as the next guests were called out. The Master promptly used the opportunity to drag Donna into the crowd, preferably far away from any nosy eyes and ears. It didn't stop her from hearing everything though. And she didn't let herself be dragged too far before she tore her arm out of his grip with a sour look.

A young man was introduced and Donna scoffed over her drink. "Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus."

He looked around, not seeing any such vehicle close by. "What bus? I'm not sure they even-"

"Oh, not an actual bus, silly. I just meant… look at the boy."

"I'm looking. What about him?"

Donna leaned closer and held a hand up to her mouth, whispering, "I bet he's gay."

"He doesn't look that happy to me."

"Not as in happy. He's…  why do I even bother?"

The Master shook his head, but then remembered a conversation he had had with Lumin once, that had gone in a similar direction. "You mean he prefers his own gender?"

"He's catching up," mocked Donna, nipping at her drink.

"Why do you use a word for it that means nothing related to that? And why do humans even have a word for it? Seems pretty silly to me."

Donna shrugged. "Silly, because it's normal for Time Lords? I mean, you two have a lot of issues, no one can deny that. But your gender doesn't seem to play a role in that."

"What for?" He poked Donna's shoulder. Maybe she would finally bring light to this absurdity he kept stumbling over again and again.

"What f- Oi, stop that, alien boy!" She slapped his poking hand away. "People are just old-school. Can't say I understand why, never bothered me to be honest. Just let them love who they love. Doesn't hurt anyone. Well, maybe except Chelsy who thought this guy, Jeremy was his name I think, flirted with her and she was really into him and then all of a sudden… oh no, he had a boyfriend."

He shouldn't have asked. The Master groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This woman could literally talk your ear off. And he still had no explanation. Not that human behaviour always had one. Those primates had the weirdest customs sometimes. Like binding themselves to only one partner. Or, well, this whole gender thing. In the end it really didn't matter.

And also, there came the person they had been waiting for. And with her came the perfect opportunity to make Donna shut up. This time she luckily reacted, when he nudged her.

"Here she is," Lady Edisson said. "A lady who needs no introduction."

The woman in question looked exactly like in the old photographs. Her long face and blond hair. And she too wore a dress the Master could only describe as horrendous. Whatever they dared to call fashion during this time period was reason enough to absolutely never come here should he ever end up wearing dresses again. Never.

It was a good thing they weren't here for that.

"No, no, please, don't." Miss Christie mumbled, blushing slightly. She started squirming as soon as everyone stared at her. "Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there's no need."

"Agatha Christie," murmured the Master.

"That's me," confirmed the blond woman, a curt smile on her lips.

Donna smiled and nothing in the whole wide universe could have spooked the Master more in this very second. He wanted to observe and learn, not make it obvious they didn't belong here. All he could do was to toss a warning look in her direction and then approach the author before Donna could. The Master stepped forward, putting on his most charming smile and shaking Agatha's hand. "I was just talking about you the other day. We were having a lively discussion about crime literature and yours is the best I came across so far."

"Oh, oh this is lovely to hear, Mister…?"

"Keller. Emil Keller. And this is Miss Noble. We are… you might say fans of your works."

Agatha raised a brow and regarded them both with a stern look. Nothing of her initial shyness was left, all of a sudden. Instead she smiled. "You make a rather unusual couple."

Couple. The Master had to take in a controlled breath to keep himself from strangling the author right here and then. "We're nothing even close to a couple."

"Oh no, absolutely not," seconded Donna.

And Agatha, she just smiled once again. "Well, obviously not. No wedding ring."

Good. One bullet dodged. The Master had no idea how the Doctor could stand being around those primates all the time without murdering them. As a politician he had at least enjoyed the privilege of acting from afar, not being in the need to meddle much with humans. Here however…

And he was on a mission on top of that. So maybe it would be beneficial to show himself from his 'best' side. At least until he found a good moment to hypnotise her without anyone noticing.

"You have a keen eye. No ring and there won't ever be one."

"Good choice." Agatha chuckled. "The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture."

And with that she already got dragged away by other guests, leaving a sulking Master and an all too curious Donna behind.

"Humans and their short life span," he grumbled to himself. "Chase a few centuries and you won't find it as thrilling anymore."

"Sounds like you talk from experience." Donna was decidedly not faced by his death stare. Instead she started babbling again, about the weather, the drinks, about the people around and what she thought of them.

The Master wasn't far from simply leaving. There would be another way to get more reading material. Somehow this started to be the opposite of what he had been looking for.

Two things happened then that made him stay anyway.

The first was the date he saw in a newspaper.

"Oh, Doctor. You did get us to the wrong date again," he mumbled.

Donna stopped babbling for a second and looked at him curiously, so the Master pointed at the newspaper.

"This isn't the party they are supposed to have. It's almost a year later. And not just any." He made a short pause. Just for the dramatic effect. "It's the day Agatha Christie disappeared."

"You're kidding! Have to. This can't…" Donna took in a sharp breath. "We might find out what happened!"

"Mhm, exactly. A nice little mystery is exactly the thing I need right now. Distraction."

"From what?"

Nosy thing! But alright. She wanted gossip, she would get it. Completely ignoring the question, the Master took her arm and lowered his voice. "She'd just discovered her husband was having an affair."

"Ohhhhh, poor woman. You'd never think to look at her, smiling away."

People could hide so well, Time Lords were even better at it. A face could speak a thousand words and yet say not a single one. But he wouldn't explain that to her. Instead he dug out what he knew about humans.

"Well, she's British and moneyed. That's what they do. They carry on. At least that's what they are known for. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened. She just vanished."

"I never knew about the details."

"Then listen. Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later, Agatha Christie turns up in a hotel in Harrogate. She told them she'd lost her memory and then never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died."

Donna looked up at him with wide eyes. There was almost awe in them and he knew that was the look the Doctor was chasing after all the time. Admittedly, it was a bit satisfying, even though he wished the one next to him would be literally any other person. Why again had he taken her along?

"You're sayin' whatever occurred back then. It's about to happen."

"Right here, right now."

And then, as if the universe itself had heard him talk, the second thing happened. A small and round woman with a foreign accent came running out of the manor, frantically waving her hands about.

"Professor! The library! Murder! Murder!" she screamed, before collapsing on the grass.

The Master smirked. Yes, this was indeed exactly the kind of distraction he had been looking for.

Chapter 7: Part II (III)

"The plucky young girl who helps me out?" Donna repeated the Master's words from moments ago, her tone clearly indicating that she didn't agree with the statement.

There had indeed been a murder. The professor lay on the carpet, blood on his head, obviously stemming from some blunt force. Nobody had a clue and everyone was babbling and screaming and hectic! The Master had to pinch his eyes shut for a long moment to rein back the drums and had then sent them all to the sitting room with a burst of authority no one had expected. He didn't even need to use hypnotism, they just blindly followed the only person who hadn't lost their head in this situation. Which was him, of course.

And, much to her credit, Donna. She watched the whole scene with shock, but stayed interestingly calm and focused. Which was pretty much the only reason he had decided to keep her by his side, rather than shooing her away like the rest.

"No policewomen in 1926," the Master answered late and with a shrug. It never helped to introduce things humans weren't familiar with yet in their time period. "Right now they are so primitive that they need to separate their own kind into every category they can think of."

Actually, now that he had spoken it out aloud, it made a little more sense that humans were so weird about who slept with whom. If you had a compulsion to separate then it was only logical. Especially since they also only ever had a single body and it wasn't that long in human history that they managed to rise above a level of survival that allowed them to put the priority for reproduction behind a little.

Which didn't mean that it was utterly stupid and unnecessary.

Donna snorted. "I'll pluck you in a minute. Why don't we phone the real police?"

"Cause I need distraction? Cause they are dumb as bricks?" He grinned at Donna, already expecting her eye-roll. "It's true. Both," he emphasised happily. "They'd just bury the whole case under paperwork and I'd miss out on all the fun."

"Which means you're going to play the detective? Actually solving the trouble 'nstead of causing it? That'd be new."

"Love me a good puzzle." The Master chuckled. "Also, I do like order. But to get it, you often have to tear down whatever is there and throw everything into chaos, so you can arrange it anew to something… mhm… spectacular." He ended with a dramatic wave of his hand.

It was a true miracle that her eyes hadn't fallen out of their sockets already from all the rolling. Donna stemmed her fist into her hips and assumed a scowl. "If you think you can kill those people one by one, you're in the wrong company, mate. Whatever you plan it better not involve making the situation worse, you hear me? I'll be out otherwise and I will get the Doctor to drag you back to the TARDIS like some disobedient dog. "

The Master burst out into a laugh. What a ridiculous human being! Although… "I would love to see him try putting another collar on me." He gave Donna a wink and knelt down next to the dead body.

But she wasn't shocked. If anything, maybe a little amused. "Again? Okay, okay, I don't want to know what you two've been up to the past years."

"Definitely not what you think." The Master huffed and inspected a small spot on the floor. Didn't he have some tweezers somewhere? Right, pants pocket. He got them out and scratched the spot. This was decidedly better than to think about his non-status with the Doctor right now.

"Maybe's about time you ask'im out then," Donna joked. She obviously couldn't stay away from the topic, even as unknowing as she was. "And whatcha doing on the floor anyway? Come on, let's get the police. I wanted some books, not a disaster."

"Not going to happen." The Master finally got a hold of the gooey substance and drew it out from between the floorboards. He sprang up and held it out to Donna. "Look at that. Morphic residue."

There were two reasons to involve her in his finding. One was to show off, the other was to shut her up about the Doctor. Only the second one had an effect though. She didn't seem impressed at all and only lifted an eyebrow.

"Morphic? Doesn't sound very 1926."

Well, he didn't need her to be impressed anyway. Stupid human.

"It's left behind when certain species genetically re-encode."

There, take this, human! Beg me to explain it!

"The murderer's an alien? And they disguise themselves as one of the guests?"

The Master's face fell. How the heck had she understood this? She wasn't supposed to be smart. Way too human, way too compassionate and way too much into useless gossiping.

Then again, this wasn't the first time that she actually surprised him. The woman had a capability of showing an intelligence that was in stark contrast to her flimsy and loud behaviour. At least this was his own opinion. It seemed that he wasn't really on the right track with that observation. Much to his ire.

"Screw it. Let's ask around and find a subject." The Master did a sharp turn and stormed out of the door, almost running into Agatha, who had waited for them.

"Found anything?" She looked a little shaken, but not as headless as the other guests.

Donna and her would become best friends in no time if the Master would just drop her here. And the thought was very tempting. Especially since she started chatting away again.

"Next thing you know, you'll be telling me it's like Murder On The Orient Express, and they all did it."

Agatha tilted her head. "Murder on the Orient Express?"

"Ooo, yeah. One of your best."

Wrong time, Noble! The Master nudged her and grunted, "Not yet."

"Marvellous idea, though." The writer looked like just made a mental note.

"Yeah. Tell you what. Copyright Donna Noble, okay?"

Abandoning her here was a bad idea, the Master decided. She would bring all of time to a total collapse in the blink of an eye. It was best to keep her away from her new bestie.

"Anyway. Agatha and I will question the suspects. Donna, you search the bedrooms. Look for clues. You know which ones." He winked at her, trusting she would understand the hint. If she managed to be smart in one moment and then fail to be in the very next he would explode from exasperation. For certain.

Luckily, she seemed to catch on." Oh yes, of coooourse. The usual absolutely human clues someone would leave behind. I'll make sure to find them all, mister detective." Smiling, she strode away and the Master let out a sigh of relief.

"Right then. Let's get to the real fun, shall we?"

"How like a man to have fun while there's disaster all around him," Agatha commented in a cynical tone.

"Oh, you have no idea how right you are with that statement." He chuckled and ignored her accusing look.

"I'll work with you, gladly, but for the sake of justice, not your own amusement."

Ah, there it was again. The moral. His fingers twitched, the drums pounded. It would be such a fun to show this human in her small, insignificant world she knew that reality was more than only stories. But oh well, stories were the very thing he had come here for, after all. Breaking her neck would only take them from him.

In the end he only shrugged and settled for a little teasing. "Same outcome to me. Be glad I'm on your side for once."

"My side? What would be the other?"

Oh, she was fun. The Master smirked, making sure his expression verged on predatory as he slowly showed his teeth.

"The one of the murderer."

---

.

---

Interrogating the suspects turned out to be rather interesting. Most of them had a good portion of respect for him, a few others smelled of fear. Good for them. Their instincts were telling them who the real threat in the room was. But that wasn't the point here. Neither was that every single one of them was lying.

"No alibis for any of them." Agatha looked up from her notebook, the pen tapping against the paper. She hadn't spoken to him ever since his comment in the hallway. "The Secret Adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive. Use ze little grey cells."

The Master chuckled. "Mhm, little grey cells. Poirot." He cocked his head to the side and regarded Agatha with a pointed look. "Are you testing me?"

Now it was on her to smile. "Maybe. You seem like an odd person, but really not much like a detective. You never even said you were one, but everyone just assumed. Isn't that funny?"

"Humans can sense when there's a real predator in front of them." The Master tapped his nose. "It makes them obey and behave. But sadly, it does not make them tell the truth."

"You noticed. Good. However, you missed a big clue."

"What, that bit of paper you nicked out the fire?"

Agatha squinted her eyes at him. "You were looking the other way."

Which didn't mean that he hadn't seen it. Humans and their narrow senses, they would never be as effective as him.

"The bookcase," he explained rather smugly and added, "Glas -" as if that would explain anything. Maybe it did. He wanted to test some too.

And really, the writer's eyes widened just a little and the smile did as well. "The reflection. You crafty man." She got up from her chair and showed the Master a charred piece of paper. "This is all that was left.'

He took it and rotated it in his hands, trying to make out the word that was written there. It said -aiden. The first letter was illegible. Could be… "N or M? Could be both."

"It's an M, I think. The word is maiden."

"Still not helping. Could be just a word or a name."

"Yeah, we're still no further forward. Our Nemesis remains at large." There was a twinkle in her eyes, despite the focus on staying on moral ground. But she did enjoy the hunt. A little.

"Seems so. Let's see if Donna has found anything."

---

.

---

"When I say giant wasp, I mean giant wasp!" Donna flipped her hands upwards, very obviously not happy about the little insect. "If that thing would sting me, I'd be dead!"

"If you're allergic to them I'm not going to carry you back to the TARDIS," the Master drawled. "Now stop making a fuss. Have you found anything useful? I thought I could count on your nosy nature."

"Nosy? Are you kidding me, mate! I'm not nosy! And that creature was bigger than me! Just for the record. Want to see you wrestling with that thing. Look at its sting!" Her hands moved again, fluttering around before landing in a pointing gesture near something black and pointy sticking out of the door.

The Master groaned. "You should have shown me that immediately instead of screaming around. Get out of the way, human."

"Charming companion you've got there," Agatha remarked towards Donna. "Whatever you see in him, get yourself something better."

"Oh this is not what you think it is. This piece of flippin' arrogance should be stashed away and forgotten like a bad book!"

"Who is charming now?" The Master snickered, but his focus remained on the sting. There was a gooey substance leaking from it, poison probably. "I can think of at least thirty-two different  amorphous insectivorous lifeforms, but none in this galactic vector. So… who is it?"

"I think I understood some of those words." Agatha shook her head. "Enough to know that you're completely potty."

"That he is," grunted Donna. She pointed at the sting. "The wasp should be defenceless now, though. Lost its sting."

"On the danger of you hating me even more… I'm pretty sure a creature of that size can just grow a new one. Most of them can. It's only the small ones that are so utterly useless."

"Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps." So much for the creativity of writers. Of all humans in this mansion, shouldn't she be the one to accept the circumstances the easiest?

"Well, you and the Doctor aren't exactly from around either."

"But we have the means to travel. A distance like this isn't hopped so easily. Not for any of the species I'm aware of."

"Then maybe you're not as smart as you think."

The Master glowered at Donna. Be glad the Doctor would never forgive me for killing you, he thought and took a deep breath. "Well, there is only one way to find out what this is all about." And only one way to keep his thoughts far away from the Doctor. The Master grinned at the women and clapped his hands together. "More distraction!"

Notes:

I promisse, I won't drag this on fr too long. Just one more chapter ;P

Chapter 8: Part II (IV)

On their way they found a ruffled plant and a bag of thieving equipment. Good and solid tools, but neither of them had much of an idea how they could have ended there or who they might belong to.

Loose threads everywhere.

They didn't get a single step farther and ended up in the empty sitting room again, silently ruminating about the few clues they had managed to gather.

"I'm sure the Doctor would have solved this already." Donna sighed.

The Master, suddenly ripped out of his blissfully distracting thought process, groaned. "Can't you ever stop mentioning him?"

"Why? Jealous 'cause you can't solve it?"

"Tsk. He'd be completely useless here. Not enough brainless running."

"Seriously though." Donna put down the notebook she had snatched from Agatha. "You've been getting along so well recently and now you're back to oh, I hate this guy, although you clearly don't and he's all grumpy and doesn't say a word although it's obvious that he's worried 'bout you."

"Worried… rubbish."

"Oh, he is." Donna smiled a little. "He's always getting this little wrinkle above his nose when he worries' bout somethin'. And we weren't in any danger, Lucy's back home, I'm not making trouble… which leaves only you. And, I know you'll just start insulting me again, but could ya finally open your flippin' eyes?"

"No, I'm starting to get a headache from all your blabbering." He rubbed his fingers over his eyelids, trying to calm the drums that were getting annoying again.

"Not literally, dumbo. The Doctor's head over heels for you! Even you should have noticed. And God damn me for saying it, but if I don't do it, then no one ever will!" Donna let her hands dramatically clap against her legs and regarded him with a no-nonsense look.

Stupid woman. "I know. He told me."

"He… oh." That silenced her. Finally. The Master already wanted to sigh in relief when she opened her mouth again. "So, he's all worked up 'cause you didn't say it back."

"Uuuugh! Donna!" He wanted to bloody murder her, he really did.

"If I may be so bold," Agatha chimed in. She had been sitting by the fire the whole time, not saying a word. "Maybe-"

"You may not." The Master growled in frustration. Stupid humans. Always meddling.

"Well, I'm going to say it anyway." The Master felt his blood starting to boil. Someone would die soon. And it would not be because of the mystery murderer. "Let that man chase you a little longer. Let him prove he's being serious. In the end they'll betray you anyway."

Hilarious! "This shit went on for centuries already. There is nothing to prove." Except for if he was able to leave them all gagged in this room. Why did he even answer? The Master shot a quick, angry look at Donna and that woman had the audacity to smile. And not just any smile. No, it was one of those reassuring, empathic ones. Stupid. Just stupid. And yet, he kept talking. "It can't even work anyway."

"'Cause he's a man?" Agatha snorted. "Ignore the gossip, move to the country. No one will bother you."

"Not for that stupid reason," the Master groaned. "Seriously, humans, get some real problems already."

"Oh, he's getting snappy again." Donna rolled her eyes.

"Humans…" Agatha let the word rest on her tongue as if it were something special. "You two always talk funny. But if that isn't the problem, then what is? Is he of higher status? If so, screw that too."

They would never understand. The Master grabbed the drink from the table he hadn't even touched yet. Alcohol, what else. He wrinkled his nose as he sniffed at the stuff. The Doctor had used it to finally gather enough courage and the Master… he had done the one thing he had never actually wanted to do.

"It was all games," he muttered, the words more for himself. "He always had a way out, always options. If not for his stupid morals he could have escaped the Valiant any time. And everything else too. Just this once… This time… I actually hurt him."

"Oh dear, that's why he's sulking."

"Guess so. I ruined it all." A bitter laugh escaped him and he downed his drink in one go. Screw it. If she knew about it she could at least use it to annoy the Doctor to death.

Weird, the two humans were talking about something, but the Master couldn't quite focus on it. Had the bitterness of his soul now overtaken his mind? The drums grew a little louder. He didn't even feel that angry and yet his breaths came shallow. That was weird indeed or was… The Master took a breath. No, this wasn't anger. Sure, there was a lot of that, but it wasn't what made him feel funny. His eyes landed on the drink he had put back on the table.

"Fuck, Donna…"

"Don't listen to her. The Doctor won't be mad at you forever. Just talk to him. And if he doesn't-"

"Shut up!" He panted, tightening his grip around the sofa's armrest. What was that? That pain in his body all of a sudden, the stings that went through his very cells. "Fuck, that was poison."

There, on the table, looking so innocently. The last drops spilled when he doubled over from the pain that wrecked his nervous system. Donna screamed, but he wasn't sure why. Hot, hot, hot, hot, pumping through him with every heartbeat. Yes, heartbeat, he could slow one of them, slow the whole process. It took an eternity and breathing was hard, but at least he could move again, hear again, think again.

"Bitter almonds." Agatha's voice "It's cyanide. Sparkling Cyanide."

"Ah, that makes sense." He grunted, heaving himself from the floor. He needed… needed. Damn, he couldn't think clearly. But now he could feel the poison pumping through his veins with the same rhythm as the drums.

"Oi, don't you dare die on me!" Donna shouted. "Back to the TARDIS, now!"

"Too far." The Master swayed. His head hurt. Cyanide, inhibited enzymes. Right, he knew what to do.

Vaguely, he registered the humans following him as he stormed towards the kitchen. Walking with only one heart pumping was exhausting enough and the poison spread fast, too fast. He wasn't sure he would make it.

Regeneration? He could. It was definitely an option. Regenerate and leave. Leave this whole messed up situation behind.

Walnuts.

Perfect.

"Could you speak to me, space boy! What do you need?" From Donna. Stupid woman. She looked at him with wide, pleading eyes as if she was actually worried.

"I'm an expert in poisons. Mister Keller, there's no cure. It's fatal." Agatha. Brilliant, annoying writer. She looked at him as if she had seen this happening before. Fascination, not much worry. That was funny.

The Master stumbled over nothing, almost collapsing, but Donna caught him, pressed her hands against his chest to keep him upright. "What do you need? Talk to me!"

"Oh, you'd be happy to see me die, wouldn't you?" How did he manage to grin? If it wouldn't be for Donna, the Master would simply collapse. And he hated the fact. So much worry. Someone might actually believe her. "Salty. Not pure salt."

"Right." She kept her hands against him for support and let her eyes wander over the kitchen racks. "Miss Christie, hand me those anchovies!"

"It won't be of much u-"

"Just do it!"

The commanding tone would make everyone obey, the Master thought, a trickle of amusement seeping through pain and fog. Agatha hurried and soon handed him the glass of the small fish.

"Perfect." Disgusting things, but he managed to open the glass and take a big, nauseating swig of the liquid inside. That was enough. No, not enough. The process was too slow, the poison too deep in his body. He could barely stand. Not even Donna could hold him anymore and so he sank to the floor, leaned against the kitchen table. He tried to speak. He really did. But nothing came out.

His remaining heart wouldn't make it much longer. Seconds. A human would be long dead by now.

He still had most of his regenerations left. It wouldn't be too bad. A new face. Why not? A new start. He had nothing to return to anyway. The Doctor would evade him from now on, and he should. And that was worse than collars and handcuffs. Somehow he could understand Lumin a little better now. When there was nothing you could return to, no one who waited for your return, then there was not much that kept you wanting to live on. Even when it was, in his case, only figurative.

The air bristled around him. Someone screamed. And then something hit him, hard, sharp things pierced his skin. The Master jumped in surprise, gasping. And his body reacted, combined the components and shook him violently.

No death for him. Not now.

It all got released. He coughed and opened his mouth, releasing a cloud of bound poison in the air, black and foreboding.

No new start for him. Not now.

His hearts beat faster again, lungs filling with air as if he breathed for the first time. Expansion, energy. He coughed and a last waft of the poison cloud left him.

No silence for him. Not ever.

"Oh my gosh, what was that?" Donna. Screaming again. The Master looked up and found her face streaked with tears. How strange. Maybe the writer had pinched her or something.

"Detox," the Master mumbled. Oh, his head hurt. Blinking into the ceiling lights probably didn't help. "Only thing I needed was a little shock. But you managed. Good job."

"Uhm… That was'im." She pointed down.

The Master blinked once more at the too bright lights. His eyes were recovering quickly, the headache subsided. He looked to where Donna was pointing.

"What is that thing?" Agatha asked. "First a giant wasp and now… a… a dragon?"

The small, black creature that now sat in his lap certainly looked like one. Aside from its size of course. The fletchling was only as big as a rat, observing him with purple eyes.

"How did Kira get here? Wasn't he with Lucy?" Donna squatted down and wiped her face, sniffing. "An' you? You alright?"

"I… don't know." To both questions. The Master shook his head and heaved himself from the ground. Donna helped, grabbing his arm.

The dragon fletchling flapped up and sat on the red head's shoulder. Why was it here? How was it here? The last time it had just appeared out of nowhere there had been a rift to the void. But no such thing was present right now. And yet, somehow the little one had made its way here, and just in time to surprise the Master enough to get the detox working properly.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, eyes squinted at Donna. He swatted her hands away. What had he missed? "I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever happened when I was out."

"When… nothing else happened!" Donna gaped at him. "You were dying, idiot!"

The Master shrugged and then nodded to himself. "Ah. Happy tears. That makes sense. Too bad I can regenerate, isn't it?" He gave her a shit eating grin that dropped immediately when her anger spiked tenfold all of a sudden.

Donna lunged forward and, before he could do anything about it, slapped him hard enough for a potential second detox. The Master stumbled, too perplexed to really be angry in the moment. But his instincts kicked in and he took on a defensive stance. A stupid human would not finish the poison's job. If she wanted him dead so badly, she would be in for a surprise.

"You bloody stupid git!" Donna shouted full blast. Loud enough to startle the fledgeling. But it stayed put. "I was worried about ya!" Why's that so flippin' hard to get in your head? And the Doctor's worried too! Else he wouldn't be sulking so much. That's his worried-sulking. But you wouldn't know! Cause you're just hiding and running away! You're a total arsehole, but that doesn't mean no one's allowed to be scared for you!"

Right, alright. He had not expected that. But they were all lies, weren't they? "Don't talk bullshit on me," he grumbled and released the defensive posture.

"You are impossible, Mister Keller," murmured Agatha. She didn't look that interested in the rest of the conversation. "How did you survive that?"

"Impossible indeed," Donna seconded. "Impossibly thick and daft. And can we get that murderer now? You stupid, stupid man!" Angrily she wiped some new tears away.

"Don't call me stupid." The Master had no energy left to argue much. Almost dying was exhausting. "I'm way smarter than all of you."

"Obviously not with everything."

She ignored his eye roll and he ignored everything she had said during her outburst. And for him that was good enough, for now. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to find out why the dragonling had appeared. He wanted to find out if the Doctor really would still talk to him. He wanted to sit in his time-frozen forest and have the drums be a little quieter for just a while.

"Are you going to explain that miracle?" Agatha asked. She still glared at him with wide eyes.

"No." A simple answer. The Master didn't care if she accepted it. "And, I'm afraid, you're going to have to solve this on your own, Mis Christie. All I came here for was some of your books that aren't available where we come from."

"You… oh. That's flattering. But what am I supposed to do about a monster? One that can't even exist, mind you."

"You're brilliant!" said Donna. "Who else could solve this but you?"

"But I'm only a writer." Her voice got meek. "You don't write a crime novel from start to finish. You already know everything and then you reconstruct the case back to front."

You already know everything. The Master dipped his head to the side and crossed his arms. He was curious about the outcome. But he was not eager at all to get himself into more of the humans' trouble. They were not worth dying for.

"Tell you what, Mis Christie." The Master smirked. "You let us take whatever books we want. And in return I tell you, how to find out who the shape-shifter is. And… I think I can also tell you who your infamous Unicorn might be. Interested?"

The author looked up at him with wide eyes. "Yes, very."

Chapter 9: Part III - Conviction

It was the greatest mystery to the Master how Donna could be sulking about getting away from life threatening danger. She had seriously tried to convince him to stay and solve the whole thing. That he had almost died just some minutes ago seemed to be completely irrelevant.

So much for her tears.

Or maybe… maybe it was because she had gotten too used to the Doctor's recklessness, to his sheer suicidal tendencies when it came to adventures.

Stupid.

The Master wasn't like that. He knew when it was time to leave the battlefield. Literally, in the case of the Time War.

He had, however, made a deal with Agatha. If she would manage to solve the case, she had to write a book about it, change as many details as she wanted, as long as an involved person could understand the meaning.

Donna decided on the title: The Unicorn and the Wasp.

Agatha gave them a small pile of books they had never heard of and also two she hadn't even published yet.

Not everyone was happy, but, as far as the Master was concerned, he had done a lot more good than he usually was willing to do. For his own reasons, yeah, but it should still count, shouldn't it?

Why did it even bother him? He didn't need any approval. He didn't need the Doctor to smile at him with this proud and childish expression and certainly not with the shy one he had hopefully seldom shown to anyone but the Master.

Alright, stop!

He scowled, kicking a pebble away. The bag with the books weighed heavy on his shoulder. Finally, more books.

Distraction.

He knew exactly from what. Or rather whom. After all, he would spend way too much time in the TARDIS. Even with the Doctor no longer holding him back, the Master wouldn't leave, would he?

Where to?

There was no place in the whole wide universe where two specific faces would not follow him, where the memories of their time together would not haunt him. As it did right now in the form of a little black dragon on Donna's shoulder.

Another mystery.

The Master hoped the creature would disappear again soon so he wouldn't have to be reminded all the time. Of his own stupidity. Of the damage he did whenever he let the reins of control slip even a little. And he needed those reins. He needed them, needed them, needed, needed, needed, needed…

Breathe.

"Donna! Where have you been? You just wanted to go shopping, but you were gone for ages!" The Doctor came running towards them, coat missing and shirt buttoned in a mess that didn't make much sense. "And…" He got slower and eventually stopped, glaring at the Master. "You're still here." Spoken as if it surprised him. Honestly surprised him. And that made the Master's guts twist. "What did you… where did you…" His look wandered back and forth between him and Donna.

"Did not harm a hair on her head," the Master promised with a hand between his hearts. The wellbeing of the human strays was always the biggest concern. And that too made his insides feel like someone had put them through a wringer.

That look on the other one's face. There was so much worry and now it morphed into an expression of utter misery. Because the Doctor knew. He knew what monster the Master kept inside of himself. He knew how much it took the Master to keep this monster on a tight chain. He knew how dangerous even a chained beast could be. Because he knew it sometimes didn't take much to let the restraints slip just enough.

The Master had never wanted to be a good person, loathed the thought even. But sometimes… just sometimes… he realised too late that he had gone too far. He saw it in the pained expression the Doctor wore and it gave his guts yet another unpleasant twist.

"Don't worry." It was impossible to hide the spite in his voice. "I'll be gone in a minute. You don't have to see me again anytime soon."

"You… huh? But you're here." The Doctor's voice cracked a little. Not in disappointment. That was strange. "I thought… You weren't in the TARDIS anymore and… and… I…" He groaned and rubbed a hand over his neck. "I don't want you to leave. You spooked me there with the drums, but I never, never, never, wanted you to go! I swear I didn't. I don't even know what to do when you're gone? Chase you? Leave you be? I wouldn't even know if you're alright or even alive anymore and I don't want… I got too used… I just hoped, you know… it was just hope and it's silly, because you never said you wanted to be with… here…"

This time, when the Master's hearts both jumped, it wasn't painful and yet it was a thousand times worse. Hope. The very thing that could burn his entire being to the ground if he ever allowed it to take a hold of him.

He couldn't.

And he stepped forward, gently taking the Doctor's head in his hands.

He wouldn't.

And he looked into those brown, sad eyes that pleaded him to stay.

He wasn't allowed to!

And he stretched upwards just enough to meet his lips and seal them, claim them, savour them. The taste he had missed more than he cared to admit, the feeling of them he couldn't get enough of. And the Doctor made a little surprised noise, but didn't even think to retreat. No, no he didn't. He couldn't, he wouldn't, he wasn't allowed to!

"We'll, this's settled then. I'll take the books and hide in the library for a while. No need to see ya two shaggin' through the whole TARDIS."

They winced in unison and watched Donna push the doors open, vanishing inside without another word.

"Books?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "You two've been books shopping? And was that Kira on her shoulder? I thought-"

"Doesn't matter now." It was embarrassing how fast his hearts beat. It really was. But right now he couldn't care less. The Doctor wanted him to stay, even after being hurt like that. It almost made the Master want to hurt him even more, just a little. Just to hear those sweet words again.

The Doctor's eyes landed back on him and there were so many emotions and thoughts swimming inside of those brown orbs, all of them too fast paced to really grasp in full detail. The Master didn't let him think them, he guided the Doctor's head back towards him and dropped their foreheads together.

"Stay away from my mind." It wasn't a plea, or a warning, not even a command. If anything those words were a fact.

"We won't find out then. Is that… really okay?"

No! No it was not. Not even a little. "It's better than having you go mad. I don't want that."

The Doctor chuckled and stepped back. "Careful. You're getting sentimental."

"Tz, not at all. But who am I going to play with then?"

"Play with yourself." The Doctor grinned and moved out of the Master's grip, leading him inside into the warm glow of the TARDIS.

"Play with myself… Oh Doctor, you're either too innocent or too ambiguous here."

"Too… innocent?" He knocked the fusion compression level over and typed in new coordinates, before pressing the few buttons for the time vertices calculator to boot up.

The Master chuckled. "Obviously." And he stepped behind the other man, reaching past him, one hand against his back, to flip the small switch for the stabilisers.

"Oh, you're no fun."

"I don't like being thrown to the ground."

He kept his hand where it was, even when the Doctor turned around, so his fingers now lay on the other one's chest, right above the hearts. It was no imagination that they sped up slightly. The Doctor looked down at them, swallowing. The Master could feel the other mind race, tendrils of his consciousness recognising the changing pattern.

He curled his fingers around the tie and pulled a little, more of a tug, really. Eyes wandered, shily resting on his, then snapping away as if his gaze alone could burn. And it might, it tried. He wanted to burn his thoughts right into that brain, mark him, take him. But instead he searched, he searched those evading, wandering eyes for the tiniest sign of madness, of any trace the Master could accidentally have left there.

"I'm alright," the Doctor whispered. "No lasting damage." And then he had the audacity to smirk and the expression was smug, way too smug for what a blubbering mess he had been just moments before. "You were worried about me, weren't you?"

"I was not!" The Master scowled. He contemplated really pulling at the tie and to just shut the other man up. "I'm surprised, though. That you are taking the risk."

"Aren't I always?" The Doctor leaned in just a little closer. There was a hint of his aftershave hanging in the air, clouding the Master's senses all of a sudden. "It's what I live for. It's what I lo…"

Oh, he didn't need to say the word. All the words. And yet, the Master wanted to hear them again. Because he couldn't believe them. "You can't impossibly be that enamoured with death."

"No?"

But you are death, said his eyes.

The Master huffed. "No."

He moved ever so subtly, bringing his body closer to the Doctor, dragging himself in by the stupid tie. Say them, say them, say them, say them! His mind screamed with the rhythm of the drums. How pathetic to feel so needy, but he couldn't stop himself, didn't even know if he really wanted to. The Doctor hesitated to follow the lead, he still didn't even look properly at the Master, yet his hearts fluttered away, fast and frantic like birds in a cage.

"You want me here," the Master stated, his words too breathy for his own taste. "I damaged you and still you beg me to stay. You of all people know who I am. And still… and all of that because you think you… you can't be serious. I know what a game looks like and this screams for a trap!" With another, rougher tug he brought their faces close together, forcing the eye contact. And there was fear, clearly displayed in the other man's face. Fear, not because of him, that much the Master could feel.

The Doctor's tongue darted over his lips. He'd deny it, wouldn't he? He'd run away again and… "Yes." The Master startled at the word, almost letting his grip loose. "I… I'm not good with this, Master. But yes, I told you already. And I'm not going to change my mind just because…"

The Master grinned nastily. "Because I'm mad? A monster?" A little closer, weren't they? "I'm not going to become someone else because of you."

"I know."

And that was enough. Self doubts don't get you anywhere and he was still the Master. So he did what his title demanded and took the lead before this tension could get out of hand entirely. Maybe it already had and he was only falling for that, but who was he to ever admit it? No, he rather tugged the tie again and brought their mouths together. Stupid distance. He wanted to feel the Doctor's resolve crumple once more, wanted to hear the small noises he made before giving in.

To his surprise, the Master got aware of hands roaming over his own chest, carefully, with hesitance. One hand slipped inside his waistcoat and it made him squirm ever so slightly. He should not react so easily, but what did it matter? As a response he intensified the kiss, demanded entrance with his tongue and pressed his body forward, wanting to feel, wanting to be close.

Maybe also wanting the control that he felt slipping. The drums got a little louder, thudding slow in contrast to his heartbeats. He didn't care. He only wanted to explore, to touch, to taste. The Doctor didn't move much, too insecure and maybe shy. So the Master took the lead. It's what he is best at, after all.

Shirt buttons popped open under his fingers, the inaccuracy of their doing undone. There was another layer, one he couldn't get rid of so easily, so instead he wandered lower, tugged the affronting cloth out of the Doctor's pants and slipped up to his hips, pushing himself yet closer, although it should hardly be possible.

The Doctor groaned. It wasn't loud, but distinct in the quiet space of the console room. It reminded him of days long forgotten, of red fields and red sunshine and red lips. They had been young and everything had been new. Now it was neither.

The Master slowed the kiss, hand placed firmly above beating hearts. Oh, by all stars! That look the Doctor gave him, wide eyed and full of wonder, admiration even. Something fluttered in the Master's belly and he couldn't even manage to scold himself for it. Stupid, stupid Doctor, doing something like that to him.

That and so much more. He left the comfortable place on the other man's chest and slipped deeper, gliding ever so softly downwards until he reached cloth again, another button. There was a twitch, he could feel it clearly. Not much more, but it was evidence of how much willpower the Doctor had to use to keep his body from reacting. The Master too. His blood rushed down, down, down, down, but he didn't allow himself to get erect. Not yet. Not here.

"Somewhere quiet," he breathed against the Doctor's lips. "I don't care where."

The other one nodded. "My room?"

"Mhm…"

The Master smirked, then took the Doctor's hand and dragged him along. He didn't want to wait any longer and he didn't want to fight for control either.

Red gras and red sun rays.

He only wanted to return.

Chapter 10: Part III (II) --- E

Notes:

We'll get back to Lucy in a bit. But for now have some tensimm smut. I know you've been waiting for it ;D

There was safety in the half darkness of the bedroom. Half concealed secrets and half revealed truths. And all of them could comfortably stay in eternal twilight.

And who needs light when you have a mouth and a tongue to explore? The Master held the Doctor down with one hand, preventing him from moving too much while he made a mental map of that unfamiliar body of his. He took a note of the soft whine when he let his tongue glide over a nipple and remembered there was no reaction at all when he did the same near the belly button. There were shapes and forms to discover, the lean muscles in the Doctor's too long legs and the rough bones in those nimble fingers.

"Master." That made him stop and the distraction brought his awareness back to his own groin and the strain against his pants. "Take that damn clothes off." It wasn't a command. There was a soft hint of amusement in it. And yes, the Master was fully dressed still, whilst the Doctor lay before him, bare and very obviously not controlling his body reactions anymore.

It didn't matter much. They were half hidden and one naked and one clothed still made another half. So it matched.

"Make me." This was a command.

Only then did he remove the hand from the Doctor's chest and sat on his heels, patiently waiting. Well, as patient as one could be in his state. He recalled how there had not been the slightest hesitation when he had suggested moving somewhere quiet. He throbbed when the image from before shot into his mind, of the other man opening the door to his own bedroom, cluttered and dim, allowing the Master only a single step inside before he tugged at him, before his hands were under his waistcoat once more as if they had never left, of how tentative he had lowered his head to steal a new kiss, sweet and careful and still demanding in a way no one else would ever manage. Or even dare.

And now those hands were back, opening buttons and pushing cloth aside. The Master watched, his nostrils flared. The Doctor took his time undressing him and there was joy on his face while doing so. He was unwrapping a present he had wished for, but had been denied for too long.

"I didn't think you'd actually let me," said the Doctor when he helped get rid of the Master's shirt. "Touch you, that is."

There was no need for them to do any of this. It was pure indulgence.

"Why? It was fun the first time." Even though his head had been foggy and the wooden ship had creaked too loud.

"Thought it was just… a drunk thing, you know? And just because I said… It doesn't mean… I don't…"

"Shut up." The Master smiled fondly. "I've been having too many fantasies about you."

The Master gladly slipped from the bed to get rid of his pants and shorts, finally free from the too tight confines. In the half light he could swear the Doctor's irises vanished completely behind black. Even the rise and fall of his chest had quickened. Control be damned.

"'bout… me?"

"Mhm…"

There wasn't curiosity any longer. Now those black eyes filled with nothing but hunger, desire. The Master hadn't been the only one to fantasise, as it seemed. And he wondered if the other one had been as deterred about it as himself.

There had been a point in all of his centuries when the Master had found sex to be nothing but disgusting. Primitive and so far below him that the mere thought caused him discomfort. He had seen what many species did to one another just because they had no control over their urges. And for the longest time it had been the only thing he had seen.

The Doctor leaned over and took the Master's wrists, dragging him back onto the bed with a half smile. The Master followed the tug and half knelt there, watching the Doctor's expression. A look as if he had never seen anything as fascinating as him. And when his lips trailed warm kisses down the Master's chest, he remembered when he had started to reconsider his opinion.

No, he had simply rediscovered it. There was nothing like the sensation of skin on skin, even without any mental contact. He allowed the Doctor to kiss his way upwards to his neck, warm and soft and so alive. He shivered as the tongue found his collarbone and knew when he had first felt sensations like these. Lips finding lips, tongues dancing. They had just been playing, exploring, in secret and hidden from judging eyes. A sigh escaped him, almost a groan, when a warm hand caressed his dick, not quite taking it, more a tease.

When had the Doctor ever gained such confidence? So shy and uncertain, then. Curious and even a little bold, now. The Master got lost in it and couldn't mind. He didn't struggle when the Doctor pressed a hand against his chest to make them both lay down. The freckled face above him, half hidden, the naked body atop him, swallowed by artificial night.

But he didn't need to see.

He remembered red sun rays peeking in through gaps in wooden boards. The creaking of an old shed, a hiding place. They didn't need to hide now and the Master grabbed the Doctor's hips to drag him down and grind against him. The first moment let them both groan and almost still, the sensation of centuries without touching each other now collapsing.

It was almost too much. He needed to take the Doctor's face between both hands and kiss those stupid lips again. He needed to feel as much skin as possible and all of the fantasies he ever had got vaporised into thin air. He wanted to mark the Doctor, he wanted to defile him, he wanted to claim him and make him scream and bleed and sweat. Instead he pressed him closer, dug his fingers into the burning skin and rocked his own dick against the Doctor's, completely unable to stop. Not now, not when he finally had him, not when he was able to make him stay, to not run, to just be his.

It was primal and a little feral too. And the Master didn't care at all. Couldn't. It was red grass and creaking wood and the scent of autumn. It was the Doctor's laboured breaths and his own racing hearts and it was the flames that burned in both of them.

The Doctor groaned and pressed his lips against the Master's neck, rasping out his name, shuddering, so close, so close. And the Master pressed against him, slowed the rhythm to make each movement more intense, more precise, more, more, more, more.

He couldn't stop the groan when he came hard and sudden and shuddered, still moving, unwilling to stop. Too much, not enough. And the Doctor pressed his lips on his once again to stifle his noises when his own orgasm hit soon after. Their minds bristled, barriers crackling. The Master held tight, focusing on the pulsing between their bodies to ground himself, to not allow him to slip and the strain let him groan once more, gasping for air. The danger was thrilling, the balance on this edge would have made him hard again if it weren't for a last hint of willpower.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

Every sinew in his body screamed, with pleasure, with heat, with the desire to kiss the Doctor and to wrap his hands around his throat. This idiot.

"Nothing about me is," he gasped.

"You just can't see it." Those warm lips ended on his neck again and the Master couldn't help but raise his head to give the Doctor access to his throat, only thinking, bite me, bite me, bite me, bite me. "So much fire." Muffled words. "So much blood." Hot hands wandering lower. "So much smoke." Control was no option any longer. "And screams." Warm fingers wrapping around him, hard and throbbing before he could so much as consider preventing it. "And chaos." The precision of the Doctor's hands, the soft tone of his voice, the praise and admiration, all those things had the Master near the edge again in no time. "So much, so much." Drowning in those sensations was so easy. "You are so much, Master."

He came again with a gasp, clutching the bed sheets with both fists, helplessly bucking upwards into the Doctor's hand. The world went black for many seconds, drowned in heat and sensation and soft words until a cold shiver brought him back to his senses. The Doctor rolled down from him, a hand sneaking its way back above his chest, drawing small circles.

And for a moment the Master thought that now there were no halfs anymore. Only one whole. But he didn't linger on the thought.

"You really think that, don't you?" he whispered. "What you said."

"'cause."

"Idiot."

The Doctor chuckled, not objecting. There was no way he didn't know how stupid it was to try and see any good in the Master. Or something beautiful. He had made sure to erase all of it, to squish and rip and tear and suppress all those things. You get nowhere by always caring too much about others. That he had learned quickly. No… not quickly.

The Doctor's soft breathing against his shoulder distracted him. From his thoughts, from being angry at the whole universe, from the slight bitter taste on his tongue from thinking about how much control he had willingly allowed the Doctor to assert over him just moments ago.

"What are you thinking?" A little muffled and by far too content.

The Master huffed. "That I could kill you right now and you wouldn't even move."

"Not true." The Doctor chuckled, then raised himself on an elbow. "Do you regret it?" He pointed between them. "This. Us?"

"There is no us." The Master scowled.

"Right now. There can be. You accepted my confession just like that and I didn't think you would and now we even-"

"Stop babbling or I'll leave."

The Doctor grinned widely. "No, you won't."

Oh this stupid, stupid… The expression reminded the Master too much of the boy the Doctor used to be, so many lifetimes ago, when their world had still been glowing orange and they had not known misery like they did now. And the Master's hearts did a painful jump at the sight.

"We can never return to an us. It's gone. It's been gone forever."

"Yeah."

The Master couldn't help it. He took the other man's face between his hands and kissed his dumb lips that were too soft and too delicious.

"We can be something, though," the Doctor breathed against his mouth. "Just something."

"Aren't we already? Am I not your dearest enemy?" A glint in his eyes. A smirk.

"We can be that and something else too."

"Mhm…" The Master hummed amused and maybe, maybe also a little hopeful. "Yeah. I'd like that."

It was better than being nothing. It was better than the emptiness that had him in its grip since days. Something new. A beginning. A promise, not for anything, but for something. The Master didn't trust it. Not even a little.

For now, though, it was enough.

Chapter 11: Part III (III)

Black smoke enveloped reality. In every direction and so thick it was a mystery how anyone could hold it apart from the darkness around it. Maybe it wasn't possible at all. It could be a trick of the mind, an illusion. There was only darkness, after all, and within it even darker shades that moved with such a slow speed that it almost wasn't perceivable.

Nothing else was there.

Emptiness.

Silence.

The Master shot up with a gasp and looked around. The room was unfamiliar, the shapes, the smell, the whole feeling of it. But then he remembered. The half darkness. The half light.

He was alone.

The bed sheets next to him were crumpled but empty. Only the Doctor's smell lingered. The man himself was gone and the Master strained his senses to determine for how long.

An hour maybe? It couldn't be much longer. And if his time sense didn't betray him, then the Master had slept for almost three hours more. An impossibly long time.

The poison's fault.

He listened inside his body and noted satisfied that all remnants were eliminated. The detox had helped to survive, but his body had still needed time to flush everything out properly.

Speaking of which, he really needed the bathroom. And a hot shower.

So he climbed out of bed and made his way through the chaos on the ground. Parts of unfinished projects, papers with doodles and blueprints, a plush figure of a galrawus and some discarded clothes. Nothing of interest. Nothing to use. But he knew that already. It wasn't the first time he had been inside this room, albeit never for that purpose.

After taking care of his bladder, the Master stepped inside the shower and let warm water run over his head. This was pleasant. A nice distraction from the ache the poison had left in his body. And the water muffled the drums.

The Master still could only half believe what had happened before, how easily the Doctor had agreed, almost as if he had waited for the opportunity, as if he hadn't always run away before.

Acceptance could be such a strong force. And it seemed as if the Doctor was going all in on it, placing everything on this one card. On those few words he had said.

It still surprised the Master that the other one had agreed to indulge in physical pleasure. Few Time Lords indulged in anything they deemed below them. And the Doctor, more often than not, appeared to be entirely clueless about the whole topic. Aside from the bit of experimentation they had done in their younger years. An all too wrong appearance, given how effortlessly the Doctor had gone with it.

Given that he had allowed the Master to touch him like that.

The thought made him twitch pleasantly before he could will down the reaction. Maybe he was indulging those physical sensations way too much these days. A guilty pleasure, although a recent one. His high exposure to humans was the reason, he decided as he watched the water run down his body and tingle receptive parts of his skin.

He didn't need to acknowledge the physical sensation, didn't need his body to react to it.

The Doctor's lips had tasted sweet. He had smelled like a hot day in summer. He had felt so good in the Master's hands, melting into his touch, allowing him access to all the things he even denied those ape companions.

Indulgence.

The Master groaned softly and watched himself getting hard. Streaks of water ran down along the shape of him, dripping down gently at the tip. If he allowed it, those thoughts about the Doctor were enough. And the warm water too. There was the option to use his willpower to regulate the blood flow away from his groin, but the Master didn't care.

His hand wandered down and with a new memory from their past on his tongue he took his cock in his hand and gently started to stroke, then got bolder, his grip firmer. He had done this before, in warm showers, with nothing but thoughts in his mind, although those had been someone else's fault.

Someone that now lay dead in a time locked forest.

His every movement stopped abruptly. There was another shower inside his memories and another one in there with him, smile bright and warm, welcoming his touch that had no intention to lead anywhere. It had been about the closeness, the shared space, a moment in content companionship.

Gone.

The Master roared in anger, slamming his fist against the tiles in front of him. Blood spilled out from his knuckles, painting the water at his feet in red. So much red flowing down, down, down, down, to where it was lost and forever forgotten. It flowed out of him with a rhythm of four, steady and maddening, just like the drums. But there was no crack in the tiles, not even a tiny one.

Nothing was left.

No evidence that it had ever existed.

Nothing but memories.

For many long minutes the Master did nothing but stand there and breathe and watch the red get lesser until his skin was sealed again. Every other thought was long forgotten, washed away and erased from ever having existed.

---

.

---

Nothing gets your energy back faster than a good meal. In silence. And for exactly four minutes and thirty two seconds the Master enjoyed the solitude immensely.

Then Donna strode into the kitchen.

"Oh, not you again," the Master groaned. Suddenly his gereg on toast tasted less appealing.

"Oi, I'm as much a guest on'e ship as you are!" She wiggled her finger accusingly at him and opened the fridge.

"I'm not a guest."

Donna retreated with a glass of orange juice and regarded him with a smile. "'M pretty sure you're as free to leave as I am. At least technically. Don't think you actually want to."

An eye roll was her only response.

"Don' gi'me that, alien boy!" The waving finger was back. "I promised the Doctor not to ask what ya two're up to in private, but'was pretty obvious. Maybe… dunno if Time Lords even… Eh, tell you what? I don't want to know."

"I wouldn't tell you anyway," growled the Master. His appetite was gone now and the drums appeared to get louder by the heartbeat. Although, on second thought, it would be a relief to have that annoying voice be tuned out.

"...and turns out she was the Unicorn. Didn't think that, she didn't look like a thief, who does, really? And the wasp? It was that priest!"

"The priest?" It took him a moment to catch up to her ramblings, but it seemed as if Agatha had held her promise to write a book about the case to let them know how it ended. Not that he was that interested in it anyway. It was just nice to know that he hadn't gotten himself poisoned for nothing.

"...because everyone knows wasps aren't the smartest, so she throws the damn thing in the water and guess what? Priest boy chases it without a thought and drowns! Just drowns. Poor thing."

Another voice interrupted her this time, much to the Master's luck. "I've just read through it and it's brilliant! Oh, Master! You're up, great! I was a little worried 'cause you wouldn't wake up, but Donna told me about the poison and I let you heal."

"Uh… well, yeah." It was all the Master could manage.

"Say 'thank you' for God's sake!" Donna shook her head. "If you wan'im to be your boyfriend you can't go about being all rude all day, ya know?"

The Master choked on his tee. "My what? Never ever in a million regenerations."

"That was rude." The Doctor smiled. His eyes sparked with joy and teasing as he strode over to snatch a sliver of toast from the Master's plate.

"Shut up. You know it would never work."

The Doctor only winked and stuck his tongue out a little, giggling when the Master tried to steal his breakfast back.

"You never complained when I called Lucy your girlfriend, but with the Doctor you snap."

"And who asked you anyway about your opinion?" he growled.

"No one. Don't care. You two're too obvious. But speaking of her, when're we going to visit Lucy?"

"Visit…?" The Master tensed.

"Well, her li'll dragon's missing her. He's been making a mess in my room before I threw'im out. Let's bring him back to her and say hi, you know?"

"No." It wasn't possible. Suddenly he felt a tremble creep up his body. "I'm not going back there and neither are you!" He slammed his hand on the table and jumped up, glaring hatefully at the human. How dare she!

"Master, what…"

He didn't let the Doctor finish and stormed out of the kitchen. Why did that dragon had to return here? And why did the stupid thing have to show itself to anyone who would ask stupid questions? The Master's pulse raced, his hearts outrunning the rhythm in his head. He wanted to forget. Why wasn't it granted to him? Why did they all have to poke?

"Hey, will you just wait. Master!" The Doctor's voice and steps grew louder, but at least he was alone when he caught up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is… everything is wrong!" The Master snapped. His chest wouldn't stop hurting.

"Oh… oh… if it's because…" The Doctor gestured between himself and the Master. "I'm not jealous of her. I don't mind, really. You should know I wouldn't."

"It's not about that."

"What then? Did you two fight? I'm sure we ca-"

"She's dead!" The Master shouted. It was impossible to hold it inside of him, to contain the anguish it all brought him. Not even the shame of feeling like that could hold him back any longer, nor did it help with the bloody tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes.

"She… she can't be dead," stammered the Doctor. "How would she…"

He couldn't hide from it any longer. And where he normally would have gloated there was now only the capacity for pain. He hated how feeble his voice sounded when he finally spoke, how it almost broke.

"I killed her."

The Doctor's eyes went wide with shock, with disbelief. Disappointment. "No… No, you can't have. "He shook his head and stepped back. "I thought you had changed. I… I…" Another step and then one more.

The Master reacted fast and grabbed the Doctor's arm, before he could escape. "Oh no, you're not running away. At least let me explain."

"I'm really not sure I want to know. This is messed up, even for you."

Oh, oh the Master was deeply in trouble. Not much had ever hurt him like the disgust and disappointment he could see on the other man's face. And of course it made sense that he thought the worst of the Master. There were all the reasons anyone could ever want. The history between them weighed heavily.

"Yes, you want to hear," he eventually growled.

The stone hardened features slowly soften, albeit only a little. The Doctor fought with himself over whether to trust his counterpart or not and the Master didn't blame him for it and also couldn't ignore the strange sting in his guts. He didn't want to be mistrusted. Not by him.

A sigh. A blink. Then the Doctor gently loosened the Master's grip from his arm and intertwined their fingers, not looking at him.

"How? Why?"

It wasn't the first time the Master felt like this, he realised. It was the second time already he wanted someone to trust him, wanted to be someone to be trusted. And that alone was messed up enough.

The first time had been with Lumin - Lucy. Maybe he should start using her actual name. It wasn't her fault that she had the same as his former fake wife. It wasn't her fault that he had messed that one up too, despite not even really wanting it. Lumin had been the one stubbornly demanding they were friends, whether he liked it or not. She had been one to show compassion and had been angry for him. And sometimes also because of him. She had been the reason he had slowly started to be a little gentler and here and there even considerate. Because he genuinely wanted to.

"Come, Doctor. I'll explain it on the way."

"On the… Her body is here in the TARDIS?"

"Time locked. Yes. Your ship, for once, was so nice to obey me."

"Oh." And for a good minute this was the only thing the Doctor said. "You hope you can do something?"

A simple question and yet it told so much. It was a sign that he lent the benefit of a doubt to him. He wanted to listen first.

"No." The Master shook his head and sighed. Where to even start? "You remember that I gave her a part of my own life force to save her stupid arse?"

"Mhm, 'cause I do. Still surpri-"

"Turns out it was literally the only thing that kept her alive. There was nothing else. Not even a spark. For all that mattered she was only a husk…"

"I… That one time I was in her mind, she wouldn't let me have a look at her life force. That… explains it. She knew."

The Master sighed. "Yes."

"But life force isn't a finite resource." The Doctor tugged at his ear. "She should have developed her own over time."

"Should."

Abruptly the Master came to a halt. There was the wooden door leading to his forest. It was hard to breathe and even harder to keep his focus away from the drums, even though they were unnervingly quiet right now. His hand was unsteady when he placed it on the knob, not visibly, but still… When he hesitated, fingers squeezed his own tighter, warm and reassuring.

"I'm with you, Master. But you… just promise me… tell me it wasn't out of rage or cruelty. I can imagine what you did. You took your life force back, didn't you?"

Together they opened the door and the Doctor kept holding the Master's hand as they walked into the trees.

"To develop life force you need to actually want to live," said the Master. He glared at his feet. "She never really could let go of her death wish." Much like a certain someone he was holding right now, but that he kept to himself. "Until we were on the island. Or maybe before that. I saw it, Doctor. I felt it." After all, the girl had decided to live. "There was… She had all the life force anyone could want."

"So, you took back the spark that had been yours."

The clearing came into view. Water quietly ran down the small creek, a leaf swayed gently to the ground. And there, between the roots of an ancient tree, lay the body of the young woman. Her face was peaceful in her eternal slumber and on her chest sat the tiny dragon. Of course it would have found its way here. It was no surprise.

"I couldn't know, Doctor," the Master whispered. It felt to him as if every sound might disturb the time lock. It was impossible, but that didn't matter. "There was so much energy. It was impossible to fail. It should have worked without any problem. But…"

"I see." The Doctor knelt down next to the body and observed her. "I'm glad… That you didn't… you know. I want to trust you. I really do."

The Master didn't respond to that. He couldn't look at Lumin. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want anyone to know about this. And he didn't want the pain that came with it.

"I tried to return the life force as soon as I felt her slipping, but… it didn't work. It just didn't and I don't even know why."

"So you brought her here… immediately?"

The Master hummed and glared up at the roof of leaves and twigs above him. A crown of intertwined branches. Everything was connected, everything in the whole wide universe, but here he was, feeling empty and not part of anything, really.

Kira came flying up and landed on his shoulder, something the small creature usually never did. It hated Time Lords. At least the two that still existed. But this time it made an exception so it could stare pleadingly, beg with nothing but its presence.

"Get lost," muttered the Master. "I can't bring her back."

"Uhm say, did you check for vitals?"

"Of course. I'm not stupid, Doctor. There was nothing. No pulse, no breath, no psychic energy."

"It's just…" The other Time Lord squatted in front of Lumin, one hand pressed against her chest. There had been no heartbeat either.

"Let's go. I don't want to be here."

"No, wait. That's, oh this is strange, I don't understand…"

"Told you… Now come."

The Doctor looked up, puzzled. "Master." His hand still hovered above Lumin's chest, barely touching the shirt. And suddenly the Master felt his stomach drop. That look meant something.

An invisible string tugged at him, ice froze him from the inside. The air bristled and his hearts jumped up and hammered their four-beat rhythm against his throat. It couldn't be. It was impossible. That look could not mean what he thought it did. And yet…

"I think she's still alive."

Chapter 12: Part III (IV)

How to describe nothing?

You could ask a blind person and they might tell you how it's like to see nothing, not even images in their mind. But even they see flashes of light and hear the sounds around them, feel the texture of whatever they touch.

How to describe nothing?

You don't feel. You don't sense. You don't think. There is no time. There is… nothing. And maybe even that isn't really there.

You only exist.

I was aware of existing.

Although I could impossibly tell if this awareness was there from the very beginning or if it only emerged after the first change.

Suddenly there was something. It still obscured everything. But it was different than before.

How to describe darkness?

When you don't know colours and you don't know light. And still, I knew it was darkness that suddenly surrounded me. Had it always been there? Nothing and darkness. A colour without colour.

Black.

But not nothing.

And in it I drifted. Floated. Existed.

What else can you do?

It took a while. A long while, until I realised the existence of time. The word made itself present and with it came meaning. Seconds trickled into my awareness, although I couldn't quite grasp what they meant.

Meaning. That was another word. Another concept that made no sense in a place like this.

But two words and some darkness were enough to get a process rolling. A bullet of something ricocheting from walls of other things.

I gasped and remembered that I could breathe. I opened my eyes and remembered that I could see.

There still was only darkness. But within it there were other concepts. Darker shades of swirling smoke. Movement.

Hours might have passed, maybe years, centuries even. I couldn't tell. There was nothing to measure time against and so its existence itself was the only reminder that it passed at all. I watched the smoke, fascinated, curious. It built up to a mass and then fell apart to only tendrils.

Another maybe-century passed before the blackness decided on another form. I watched, as I always did, how the swirls shaped themselves to… wings. They were enormous and I remembered the concept of leathery as they spread. It was a wonderful sight. Frightening, yes, but not in a bad way.

Surprised, I noticed I remembered what fear was. It wasn't present with me, but it lingered. And the wings moved.

Slow, slow, slow they rose and when the leather of smoke had reached its highest point there was…

Light.

Nothing in all of existence, I decided, could be as beautiful as light. Shining dots of what my mind called purple broke through the darkness. They were so bright, yet tiny and swallowed by the surrounding gloom. A head was there too, socket to the lights and moving in my direction.

Movement. I could… walk. I had feet! How can you forget about feet? They carried me closer to the billowing creature, tall as the whole of space. Its head lowered to mine, eyes glinting gently. I stretched out both… hands. And I remembered touch as my fingers moved over cool and dark scales.

The creature nudged me with its nose and a warm wet tongue darted out to lick over my face. It made me laugh and retreat. Not far and not for long. It nudged me again and turned its head as if to signal me to follow. And I would have done it if the creature had not revealed itself to be even greater. It lowered its enormous body, however, so I could climb onto the back.

Something brushed my mind. A warm feeling. A sense of 'take care'.

So I gripped tightly at the soft stripe of fur that grew along the back, right in time before the wings flapped and carried us high, high, so high above the darkness, without ever leaving it.

Where are you taking me?

Another brush against my mind. Images of wonders I could not fathom here. And there were also faces. People I once knew. There was a place. A place I… belonged?

But I belonged here. In the darkness. It was all I had ever known, wasn't it? It had always been there with me, guarding, protecting. A cocoon from whatever existed outside of it.

Yes, there were things that did not belong in here. Now I remembered that too. And while we rode through the night I also remembered a story from many years ago, of a boy who had done a similar journey, but his dragon had been white and they had had another goal. Not too dissimilar to mine. The goal was to escape the nothingness.

A story has to have a beginning, after all. Before it can form from nothing, there has to be something first. A thought, an idea.

A spark.

It appeared at the edge of the darkness, faint and tiny, but there was a reassuring nudge against my mind. We would get there. Eventually. We had to. Because from that light came also a voice. One I thought I should know. It was calling my name and I remembered that I had one.

The voice was begging me closer to the light and my dragon flew fast.

"You'll come with me, right?" I asked and my new found voice sounded too loud in the silence.

The creature emanated a soft hum, a low, barely audible frequency that felt like a confirmation.

"Okay. Then let's go."

I gripped the soft stripe of fur tighter and we raced towards the bright light, plunging into it until all dark had vanished. All nothingness formed to somethings, and one final memory emerged.

Of how to open my heart and breathe.

---

.

---

"She can't be," murmured the Master as he sank down against a tree. "I checked. I checked everything. I tried to feed her some life force, I tried every medical and psychic trick I know of. Doctor… she can't be."

"Mhm. I know what you mean. And I don't say she is. It's just… it's odd. Dead people feel differently."

So it was only a stupid hunch. For a second the Master had thought the other man had actually found a sign of life.

"Let's just leave." He was so tired.

The tiny dragon flapped over and sat on the Master's knee, glaring up at him. Normally the thing avoided him like the pest, had even bitten him once.

"Fuck off, you nuisance. I can't do anything."

"Master."

"Oh, don't start. I know I stole the egg. It doesn't mean I have to like the creature inside."

"No, not that. Did you notice the high concentration of void particles around Lucy?"

"No? You look ridiculous by the way."

The Doctor wore old 3D glasses. The sort humans had used for their first attempts in cinemas. With differently coloured glasses. Well, plastic things to be precise. But yes, he knew that Lumin had had a cluster of void inside her mind. They had never found out why or what it did, though.

"She's time locked. Maybe it just never disappeared? I don't want to be here, Doctor. Let her sleep. Tell Donna some nonsense story. Tell her I was an arse and she will believe it. What are you doing?"

The Doctor had knelt down next to the body and now unbuttoned her shirt. Only the first few, luckily, or the Master would have seriously considered hurting him, no matter the consequences. He scrambled to his feet, making the dragon fly away with an indignant squeak. It followed.

"It's nice of you to want to preserve Lucy, but did you actually look when you tried reviving her?"

As soon as the Master came close he saw what the Doctor was talking about. There, on the skin right above the heart, sat a thin black circle. It wasn't a tattoo. He'd known of it. And on top of that, the colour was moving. The line changed slowly in thickness and shape, fading inwards like sand trickling inside a hole.

"Are those…?"

"Void particles, yes."

"Get out of the way, Doctor."

He nodded and scurried to the side, allowing the Master to kneel down next to him. How could he have missed that? Had he really not looked? Opening the shirt certainly hadn't been necessary for any revival attempt, so yeah, it was possible.

The Master swallowed the forming lump in his throat and tossed a glance at the Doctor. Once… only this once he had allowed hope to cloud his mind and it had gotten him closer to the man he… He looked away, tossing the unfinished thought aside. Not important, not now, maybe never.

Hope.

Once more. The  black circle moved. A snake biting its own tail. Smoke made of nothing itself. No one understood much of the void. It was a mystery to even the Time Lords and so there were no reliable sources as to what its particles might cause.

The Master carefully placed his hand above the circle and then dared to touch it.

Nothing.

Not even a tingle. It was just there, continuously moving under his fingers.

Potential.

Hope.

Oh what a treacherous thing. It would betray him just like everything else in his life had. And again his eyes wandered to the Doctor and he wondered if any of this could be more than temporary. He should leave it how it was. Everything. His eyes moved back to Lumin's face and he knew he wanted to see her bright smile again, wanted to hear her curious questions and feel her warmth contrasting himself.

The Master gently pressed his hand above her heart, sending out his mind into… the void? There was nothing to connect to.

Please come back to me.

A jolt went through the ground as if he had commanded it. The Master gasped and snapped his eyes open.

"What the…"

"Wasn't me! The Time Lock dissolved! And Kira is gone. He…" The Doctor scratched his neck and took off the stupid glasses. "He poofed away. Tiny black cloud and gone. Keep your hand where it is. And your mind too."

The Master looked down at the moving black. Had it taken on a slight purple shine or did he imagine it? His hearts beat faster. Could it really be? Could she really…?

Wherever you are, come back, little light. Come back. I need you.

He kept sending the message out, not knowing if it ever went anywhere. It had to. What else could the change mean?

A hand landed on his shoulder. The Doctor nodded reassuringly. A single leaf fell from the tree and landed next to the moving circle.

Her arm twitched.

Impossible.

The Master exhaled and reached further with his mind, letting it fumble around in the space, searching for any little signal or sign until he finally, finally, found it.

Gotcha!

His hearts vibrated.

If you hear me, follow my voice. You're hiding. You don't need to. I'm here. I'm waiting.

"Whatever you do, it's working!" The Doctor sounded so happy.

The Master felt the connection click into place. His mind was locked with another one and he could have cried from the warm embrace that greeted him. It still wasn't right and too faint and not even properly conscious, but it was there and it was moving, growing, waking.

Lumin's eyes moved and breath filled her lungs again. The Master pulled her into his arms and kept the contact alive, one hand always on skin, his mind always sending a signal. He felt the struggle, but also her slow return from wherever her mind had hid.

"I'm here, little light," he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead. When he retreated, Lumin's lids flew open and slowly, oh so slowly, he could watch her consciousness return to them.

Lumin groaned, pinching her eyes shut again for a moment. Her mouth tried to form words.

"You did it, Master! You brought her back!" The Doctor jumped up and did whatever.

The Master didn't care. He was completely fixated on the woman in his arms that slowly woke up more and more until her gaze found his face. He slipped from her mind then, not wanting to accidentally cause any pain. If she noticed he couldn't tell.

"You scared me there, little one. Welcome back."

"Uhm… Thanks?" Her voice was hoarse.

Something was wrong. The Master felt it the moment she spoke, the moment she looked at him with such confusion.

"Lets fetch you a coffee and you should be fine again." Shouldn't that do the trick? Bring back the smile?

"Sounds lovely," Lumin muttered and wound herself out of his arms, glaring at him, then the Doctor, then back at the Master.

"But, who are you?"

Notes:

Whooops!
This would have been too easy, wouldn't it?
Also, yes, we'll switch back to first person POV from now on, but I might return to the Master again here and there. I just love writing him UwU

Chapter 13: Part IV - Betwixt

In one moment there was almost only darkness and the vague impression of something that was not nothing. We flew, that much lingered. The place that was no place faded away the brighter it got. I heard a voice too, but its words refused to make much sense.

Eternity passed. A dreamless slumber from which emerging felt like crawling out of thick mud. I managed, eventually. And the words made sense and my eyes caught sight.

I gasped in some air, looking around without orientation. Trees, a creek, falling leaves.

And two men.

It shocked them when I asked who they were and they exchanged puzzled looks. Concerned ones too. Probably. I had never been to good at reading facial expressions. But one thing was clear, however.

They expected me to know them.

"I am the Master," the man who held me spoke. His tone was suddenly dark, commanding.

I blinked stupidly at him and wriggled out of his arms. It felt too strange to be held by someone I had no memory of. And what kind of name was that even supposed to be?

"I'm the Doctor," the other one said.

"A Doctor and a Master," I muttered and shook my head. "From a university? I don't remember going to one… And we're in a forest anyway… and…" I blinked my eyes shut and listened inside myself. "Why do I feel like I'm tipsy? 'N why do I wear clothes like some sailor? And where are we?"

My head spun. None of this made any sense. I tried to scramble to my feet and away from those looks they gave me. Should I run? Had they drugged me? As soon as I was on my feet I dropped to the ground again, too shaky to keep myself upright.

"Hey, slow, Lucy. We're not going to hurt you. We're friends." The one in the pinstripe suit held his hands up and took a step towards me. A pair of old school 3D glasses hung out from his chest pocket.

"What's the last thing you remember?" The other one again. He looked my age, somewhere in his early thirties. A neatly trimmed goatee sat on his face, giving him a serious look. His eyes pierced into mine, hazel in colour and full of… I couldn't tell. Disappointment? Anger?

I focused on his question and tried to recall whatever I could gather from the moment before I had awoken here. "I… there is… uhm…"

There were too many images, scenes that blurred into another without any coherence. Yesterday? A week before? Was it a year or even more? Faces, places, occurrences…

"I was at school. No, no, that's not possible. Too long ago. That was… ten years? I was… my Dad, no, my Mom." I groaned and buried my head in my hands, groaning. "'S all scrambled. I don't know. My flat… I was chatting with a friend and… I think I wanted to meet up with someone? Oh right…' s probably on my phone. Lemme check WhatsApp and…" It wasn't there. My smartphone was not in any of the few pockets the pants had. I felt panic arise. I needed that phone. How else would I get back home? How would I contact anyone? There was no way I could afford a new one and…

"It's in your room."

The voice of the man who called himself the Master tore me out of the fear and I released a breath. But wait… "My room? You mean my apartment? Why didn't I take it with me and… I still don't know…"

My body was clearly against being conscious and awake. A cold shiver ran down my spine and every bone seemed to freeze. I let out a groan and pinched my eyes shut.

"I think you should get some sleep and tomorrow we'll see," the Doctor offered, reaching a hand out towards me.

"Sleep?" I glared at the offered hand in disbelief. "How could I ever sleep now when I have no clue what's going on or if I'm even safe and where am I anyway and-"

"Oh, calm the fuck down, little one or I'll knock you out," growled the Master. "I promised not to hurt you and that idiot over there isn't even capable of stomping on a fly."

"Oi! Not true!"

"Threats're not very calming." I pursed my lips and scowled at the two. Whoever they were, it seemed they wanted me to feel safe. Although that doesn't mean much. The worst people I had ever met had also done their best to do that. Just so I would let my guard down. But maybe it helped to pretend to be less on edge? I took deep breaths and reined in the fear like I had done so often. Learn to think like the predator. Make them believe they have the upper hand so you can slip away at the right moment.

The Master knelt down next to me and grabbed my chin, not letting me jerk away. His piercing eyes searched me for whatever he deemed worthy to find. It was hard not to panic. Right now he could do to me whatever he wanted and I had barely a chance to defend myself.

And then he let go.

Simple as that. No further threats, no harm. Instead he sighed and brushed a hand over his face. "I guess your recent memories are damaged. Or locked. Or… I'm not sure."

"All of them?" asked the Doctor. "I mean, you don't remember us and you probably won't remember the TARDIS either or why you're here. That's… huh… that won't be easy to explain."

"What's a tades?"

"TARDIS," the Doctor repeated with a wide and happy grin. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space. We're inside of it right now. This isn't a real forest. 'S just a room. Big one, mind you, but still."

I glanced back and forth between the two, waiting for any clue as to whether or not they were making fun of me, but they didn't react. At least not in a way I could read. My pulse quickened again, but I forced my breath to keep steady so the fear couldn't overwhelm me. I tried again to remember. Anything. Something had to be there, right?

The only result was a sharp pain in my head and also my chest. Hot, glowing knives sliced through me and I groaned, almost collapsing. Hands grabbed my shoulders, holding me.

"'M okay," I muttered through gritted teeth. "Let go." The Master held me. Was this concern on his face? It was real. It was fake? I couldn't tell and that spiked my fear even more. I didn't know this man. He shouldn't be so close. Not close enough to harm me. I swatted his hands away and crawled backwards. The more space there was between us the better. "Don't touch me."

The Master let his hand fall and regarded me with a long dark look. Then he shot to his feet in one swift motion, snarling. "Fine. I'll fuck off then. You deal with her, Doctor. I'm having enough."

And with that he stormed away, loudly stomping through leafs and roots until his steps vanished. I took some deep breaths. This was all too much. Why was he so angry?

"Can you stand?" asked the Doctor. "If touch's too much right now, it's fine. We should get you to the med bay though. I want to check all of your vitals. And then maybe you can have a shower and some sleep. Or… whatever you want, actually. We're not in any hurry."

Could I actually stand? My head was spinning, my breath coming short and my pulse racing. Okay, calm down. Don't get a panic attack.

I took a breath and counted to four, held it and counted again, released, counted, held, counted. Repeat. A technique I had learned a long time ago. Breathe to the count of four, calm your body. Your mind can only panic when your body signals danger.

At least the Doctor didn't try to come closer. Right now any kind of touch would be like electric shocks. And I didn't know what their intentions were. Friends, foes, harm or good. Everything was possible.

"Feelin' better?" His smile seemed genuine.

But bad people could have nice smiles.

Think. There was nothing I could do right now. Staying would mean to deal with an unfamiliar environment on my own. Coming along would mean to give myself into the hands of who knows whom. He made an effort to appear nice, at least. If it was a mask, he might wear it long enough for me to run as soon as I had found a way out of here. If he was nice, then better for me.

"Med bay," I mumbled. "Sounds Star Trek."

The Doctor chuckled. "I know! It's funny, isn't it? The Master thinks it's childish, but who'd want to call it an infirmary for inter universal life form treatment? Too complicated and long. And he uses it too, but don't mention it."

"Won't." I used a tree to get to my feet and found that they were willing to carry me. Keep breathing. Keep counting. One, two, three, four. With steady steps I followed my strangely named companion.

It turned out that he had told the truth. The forest, indeed, was, behind a door. And outside of it lay a corridor, greeting me with its hexagonal shape.

"Damn." I touched the cold metal. Something pulsed through it, a light hum of sorts. "Don't tell me we're inside a spaceship."

"Alright. I won't."

"Then what is it?"

The Doctor pressed his lips together. What he had told me about it had already slipped my mind again. Time and relative dimensions? A forest inside a room. Another dimension. Okay, it made sense. Time… what about time though? The Doctor didn't say a word.

"So?" I pressed. Curiosity won the upper hand.

"You told me not to say it."

I couldn't help it. The whole situation be damned, but I laughed. "Thought taking things too literally is my job."

The Doctor grinned, his thumbs stuck in his pockets and he rocked back and forth on his heels. For a second I thought about whether aliens might also be autistic sometimes. Speaking of which…

"If this is a spaceship then… You two are aliens?"

"Yep!" With a prominently popped 'p'. His eyes twinkled and his fidgeting made me think he might enjoy this way too much. The introduction that is.

I squinted my eyes at him. "Did you abduct me?" An obvious first thought, wasn't it? "'M not a good test subject for humans, mind you."

"No! No, we didn't! It was your choice. Mostly, I think. The Master… Oh, let him explain himself. But no, we didn't take you against your will!"

Big puppy eyes. If it weren't for the fact that I had found myself suddenly stranded in the strangest environment I would have taken some time to adore the almost innocence the man before me displayed. Something about him felt so childish and yet… old. Maybe even wise.

But not dangerous.

My life had me tossed into the hands of enough truly malevolent people to be able to tell the difference. And the Doctor was no threat to me.

As for the other one…

Too much to know, too many thoughts. The Doctor walked me to a wooden door in the hallway and gestured me inside. A warm and cosy bedroom greeted me, clad in brown and orange tones. There was an autumn like atmosphere in here, made by the colours and the faint glow of a light hose that was wrapped around the bed.

"Just thought we skip the med bay til you rested. Test results would be skewed anyway and my sonic didn't pick up on anything weird." He tossed a blue glowing metal pen in the air and caught it again with a smile, then nodded inside the room. "It's yours." The Doctor stayed outside, arms and legs folded and leaned again at the door frame. "You've been living here for almost a year in earthen time."

"Earthen time," I repeated, letting the implication melt on my tongue. And also… almost a year? A quick look through the room confirmed the Doctor's words. Books and video games lined the shelves on the wall and some lay on the desk, right next to a computer. It wasn't messy, but the room definitely looked used. And very much like one I would occupy.

I shook my head and groaned. "Crap, how… is this all even possible? Why don't I remember anything?" This is…" I gestured outside and to the Doctor. "This's stuff I dreamed of and had way too many fantasies about and now you tell me I've been living it!"

He nodded, smiling. "We'll figure it out, don't worry. Something must be responsible for the memory loss, so something else surely can bring'em back. And now, sleep, take a bath, relax a little and then we'll see. You're among friends, I promise." He put a hand in the middle of his chest and then moved from the door before promptly turning back. "The TARDIS, my ship, she likes you. If you need to go anywhere, just ask. She'll be happy to guide."

One last wink and he strode away.

A sentient ship. Aliens. Space travel. My head spun, but at least the panic was gone. Mostly.

What a fine mess I had awoken into.

Chapter 14: Part IV (II)

I took my time taking a long, hot shower. There was no bathtub and I wouldn't have used it anyway. For me there was either the shower or going for a swim properly. The TARDIS seemed to know that, so she hadn't provided a tub in the first place.

I stumbled over that thought, wondering how I might know that. Turning off the water I stepped out of the shower and looked around.

"You… can understand me, right?"

No words answered me, but I felt a light tingle in the air, a sense of moving electricity or maybe something similar to sound.

"There is no bathtub."

This time the tingling wore a strange, but distinct note of amusement.

"Then I was right. You knew I wouldn't use it anyway."

A soft hum in the air. I smiled. It really was communicating. And that with an almost childlike joy.

"You're a wonderful thing, aren't you." I walked out into my room and sat down on the bed. The mattress had a perfect hardness to it and the sheets were soft and smelled nice. The light-hose gave off a cosy orange glow, perfectly dim and soothing to my light sensitive eyes. There was a shelf with books and others filled with what looked to be random objects, probably souvenirs. I had always loved collecting them.

Everything in here was perfectly tailored to my tastes and needs. Not even for a second could I doubt the room was made for anyone else. How strange. Especially when I thought back to the cheap apartment I had been living in, with barely enough money to scrape by, random furniture I had either gotten because someone else wanted to throw it away or so cheap that it hardly held together. The perfect opposite to this.

It was the first time in my life it actually felt like a space was mine.

I dropped backwards on the bed and glared at the ceiling. Glowing dots stuck to it, creating a fake starry sky. How could someone's memories just… vanish? I couldn't imagine that I actually had wanted to forget. Not something like this. Let alone whatever else might wait for me outside. On a spaceship! With aliens!

All of those mysteries had to wait. My curiosity was killing me, sure, but there was also the strange fact that I clearly was intoxicated. I must have had consumed alcohol before the incident and I also felt the effects of having been up for too many hours. Unconsciousness sadly didn't compensate for sleep. And judging by this room I seemed to live here now. So everything would still be here the next day.

Probably. If it didn't turn out to be a weird dream.

---

.

---

"You did what?!"

I winced at the loud outburst of Donna. She hadn't needed long to introduce herself, practically tackling me with a hug as soon as I came in sight. Her joy had turned to anger within a single second when she realised I had no clue who she was. A moment that scared me more than the whole memory thing itself. It was one of those moments when you get aware that you can't give what people expect of you, that you can't fulfil the image in their minds. It usually is the moment they either hurt or discard you.

But not Donna. I had apologised and promised to get lost to not bother her further and the look in her eyes had gotten even darker for a moment. But only for a moment. Then she had suddenly hugged me tight and had promised to kick some marsian arses before grabbing my hand and dragging me along to the kitchen.

We had found not only the aliens but also coffee. The latter made, for me at least, everything a little more bearable, while Donna showered the other two with a tirade of curses until they explained to us what had transpired.

"I didn't know!" The Master growled at her.

"I don't care! It sounds flippin' dangerous!" She tried to slap his arm, but he evaded with a dark look.

"So, how can I get my-" I started, hoping to interrupt them. But, as usual, no one paid me any attention. It was always the same in a group. Whenever I spoke up, no one listened. Sometimes I truly wondered if I was even real or simply stopped existing as soon as there was more than one person in the room with me.

"And why's no one doing anything about that void thing on her?" Donna demanded, pointing in my direction.

Right, that thing. I had seen it in the mirror, sitting on my chest and ever changing, black and a hint of purple. I had decided to just ignore it for the time being, getting no answer on my own anyway.

"We don't know yet," answered the Doctor. "It seems to be connected to the void inside her mind. And ever since the dragon vanished it got that purple too. 'S hardly noticeable, but I think it's the little one's doing."

"You're kidding, Doctor, are you? This is getting more insane by the minute." Her head snapped towards the Master. "Have you apologised at least?"

"Why would I?" he whined. "Stop bugging me, human!"

He seemed to like using our species as an insult and I wondered why. They didn't look different to humans. They didn't even behave that much differently. The Doctor wriggled around as if he had a hard time standing still for longer than two seconds and he could talk a million miles per hour, while the Master appeared to be on the moody side, calm on the outside, but quick to snap.

Their names were curious, I thought, watching them. Both were titles, but they used them as their actual names. Did they use them in the sense of professions or academic grades?

"What do you think, Lucy?"

I blinked and shook my head, startled at being spoken to all of a sudden. All eyes were on me now and my heart sped up with a short burst of anxiety that vanished surprisingly quickly.

"I uh… spaced out. Sorry. You were so loud and…"

"It's okay," Donna assured. "The Doctor suggested visiting some places to maybe jog your memories."

"I could conduct some tests in the med bay too," the tall man said, smiling. "But with the subject we're dealing with I'm not sure we'd get results."

I nodded. This whole situation wasn't as bad as it could be. I had no way to tell whether or not I could actually trust any of them, but what choice did I have?

"It would also be perfectly alright if you want to go home," the Doctor added. "We can drop you off with your dad if you want."

The thought of my father made my head spin for a second. When I tried to think of him I had different sets of memories. One where he lived his life under the rule of my abusive mother, but also one where the woman had mysteriously vanished and my dad had moved to a nicer place with my younger sister. Another puzzle to solve.

I shook my head, this time. "No. I'll stay here." My look wandered down to my wrists. Long hoodie sleeves covered them now, but I had seen the scars. "I don't know how much I told you guys about my past, but the last I can remember it has never been so bad that I seriously considered to…" I traced a finger over my wrist and peeked up at awkward faces. Only the Master wore the same sour expression as before. "So, if things really got that bad in my life… I don't see a reason to return to it."

The Master huffed and folded his arms. "You have me to thank that you're still here, remember that."

"You waited until she was almost dead before doing anything!" snapped the Doctor.

The other one shrugged.

"Doesn't matter." I played with my cup and then couldn't help but smirk. "I'm on an alien spaceship and there is no way I'd leave it just like that. I used to joke that if I'd ever meet aliens I'd beg them to take me along." I chuckled.

It was true. I had never felt like I belonged on earth. Humans were so different to me that it was often almost impossible to accept that I was the same species as them. Even after discovering autism I could never shake the feeling that I just didn't belong there. My lack of friends or any kind of social connection confirmed it.

And now I had this. Whatever this was. Despite having no actual memories the place still felt familiar. It felt like… home. And there had never been anything like that for me. Not on earth.

"Brilliant!" The Doctor beamed from ear to ear. "You might even enjoy this. Imagine! You can see everything for the first time again!"

"Mhm." I smiled. "It would be better though to know that I have seen it before. You could tell and show me whatever and I'd have to believe it."

His face fell again and Donna tapped a finger against her chin. "We could give you a rundown on everything, how's that?"

"No!" The Doctor interrupted, before she could say more. "We don't tell her anything."

"Rubbish, Doctor," growled the Master. "Why do you want to leave her in the dark? I want her to know everything."

But the other man shook his head and gave a sad look. "Human brains," he simply stated.

"Useless and cluttered, yes, I'm aware. So what?"

"Yes," Donna seconded, "what about our brains?"

"False memories," I said and waited for any reaction to see if they had heard me this time. Obviously, they had, because all heads turned towards me. "A human brain can't cope with empty space so it takes whatever it can get to fill those. If you tell me anything, I will create memories-" I air-quoted the word - "based on that."

"But isn't that good?" asked Donna.

The Master grunted and folded his arms in front of his chest, scowling at the floor. "No, it's not. It would only be a mimicry of actual memories. But nothing true. And yes…" He cast a glance at me. "You would have no choice but to believe our viewpoints. Hate to say it, but for once the Doctor is right."

"Am I?" For a single second he looked surprised, but quickly smiled. "Of course I am!"

"How do you know that, though, Lucy?" Donna cocked her head and sat at the table with me. "And that's really okay for you?"

"It is, yeah." I nodded. "I don't want anything that's not true for me. And I uh… I might have been a liiittle obsessed with neurology and stuff for a while. Wanted to know how my brain works, you know? And why I'm so wrong."

"You're not wrong! Don't tell nonsense."

I gave her a sad smile, but didn't answer. Whatever I might have told her about my life would not be able to fully convey how it felt to grow up and live with everyone around you treating you like you're something that shouldn't exist.

One more thing that made me want to stay here. Those people, they seemed to care.

"Well then!" The Doctor clapped into his hands. "Where to first?"

Notes:

It's true, actually.
You can very easilly create fales memories in a person. One of many reasons why memory isn't reliable and why what you experienced doesn't necessarilly have to be "true".
Or, as someone once, said: In a way, you really can change the past.
Just not with a time machine.

Chapter 15: Part IV (III)

This was not the time to collapse. Even though my mind was racing and all of my senses were on high alert. Nothing so far had hinted at danger and the lack of memories was an issue I could do nothing about for the time being.

And still… When I stood in the TARDIS wardrobe to get a warm jacket and looked in the mirror I felt my strength fading. The calm facade I had maintained during breakfast now crumbled under its own weight. Everything was new and strange and yet I had just walked without thinking and had ended up in here. Some buried fragment had remained in my - that there is a wardrobe. And it was the strangest thing.

My body didn't need my mind to find the sections of this large place I needed. There, in that corner, I found comfy jeans and the rack a few metres further had a collection of dark hoodies with chequered embellishments. The jacket in my room should be warm enough. We would visit a place that might be a little chill but not cold.

I traced my fingers over the cloth of several items, bewildered by how familiar this felt. There was no doubt that the others were telling the truth about the loss.

"Seems like you don't need help navigating," a mocking voice said from behind me. I spun around and found the Master there. He stood with folded arms leaned against a wardrobe. "I was almost hoping I could talk some style into you for once."

"This's stylish enough." I tapped against my hoodie. "Don't need any fancy stuff. 'S just me."

The Master tilted his head and looked me up and down. An unnerving moment. It was as if he was judging every single atom of me and it made me want to shrink. He himself looked rather stylish, with the black jeans and red polo shirt, above it a black leather jacket.

Smirking, he stepped closer, hands in the jacket's pockets. There was an aura of danger around him that was almost palpable. I had noticed it the first time already and also in the kitchen. Now that I was alone with him it was almost suffocating. My whole body screamed at me to run away.

But a tiny pin prick deep inside my chest made me want to stay.

"So, you have no idea at all who I am," he stated more than asking. His look wandered over my face, searching. "And I'm not allowed to tell you, lest I want you to have memories that aren't your own."

I sighed. "Yeah, that seems to be the conclusion."

"Stupid human brains." The Master tipped against a random, blue button down shirt, making it shake a little.

"Sounds like you wouldn't have that problem in case of amnesia." Could that be true? To me it sounded strange, but that maybe was only because I was so familiar with the workings of humans. Too much curiosity.

"Not from what I know. But our brains work differently. Much more advanced." He chuckled.

I raised my brows and shook my head. "So far I've seen nothing that would even suggest that you and the Doctor are aliens. This place here is amazing, true, but it could also just be underground somewhere."

The Master glared at me with an undefined look, then nodded. "Yeah. Humans look a lot like us. "Then he grinned and stepped closer. "I can show you."

And before I could do or say anything, he grabbed my hand and yanked me towards him. It wasn't rough, but sudden and it made all of the calmness I had clung to crumble away in a single moment. My heart rate skyrocketed and my body couldn't decide whether to freeze or to flee. I glared up at the strange man in front of me and all I could see was his roguish smile that looked like that of a predator to me at that very moment.

"Stop it!" I cried and yanked at my hand. Somehow my body reacted on its own and I leaned all of my weight backwards. Out of reach, out of proximity. Away. Away from the unknown. Away. The Master didn't let go, but his expression changed and I suspected it to turn angry. A split second of potential frozen in a single moment. I tore at my hand once again and screamed.

"Don't touch me!"

I fell.

At least I thought I would until the clothes rack behind me caught my stumble. My pulse slowed minimally and I clutched my hand to my chest as if it was burnt. But no, it only felt strange, tingling with warmth that should be pleasant, but didn't want to be. I looked up at the Master and his face wore a mixture of confusion and something else I couldn't name.

There was no anger.

He let the hand sink that still hung in the air, outstretched to hold a memory that was no more. He swallowed, then stepped back.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he muttered. "Just…" He placed his hand in the middle of his chest. "We have two hearts. That's easy proof."

Only that. No outburst, no attempt to harm or force or touch. I waited for another few seconds and when nothing happened I finally allowed myself to breathe again and to step away from the rack.

"Oh." It was all I could muster to say.

The Master balled his hands to fists and looked away. He was fuming. But he didn't let any of it out on me.

Something new. Usually, when people were angry, they always used me as a target for it. But not him. For whatever reason and no matter how much my instincts screamed at me that he was dangerous…

"Sorry," I muttered. "Just… makes me really uncomfortable when people I don't know come too close. I never know what they want to do to me."

The Master pinched his eyes shut so tight it looked like it might hurt. Then, suddenly his eyes shot open and his look landed on me, full of darkness and hate and all things I had no name for but made me shiver. He huffed. "Whatever. I didn't even expect you to come back. This doesn't change anything, come to think of it."

"What… do you mean?"

"It means, little husk," he sneered, "that I'm leaving you to your own now and mind my own business." He wriggled his fingers at me with a cruel grin. "Bye bye."

With that the Master hurled around and marched away, leaving me not even an opportunity to answer anything. His steps echoed through the wardrobe for a small eternity. Only when they had completely vanished did I let out a shaky breath. Tears tried to fight their way to the forefront, only held back by the shock of the situation. I clawed at the clothes rack to keep myself from collapsing. My body suddenly felt too weak to stay upright and so I ended up on the ground, rocking back and forth, my arms wrapped around myself as tightly as possible.

This was all just a strange dream. It would end. I would wake up. There would be no aliens and I would still be in my shabby apartment, searching for meaning that could nowhere be found. It would be bad. I would hate every second of it.

But at least I wouldn't be so damn scared anymore.

---

.

---

After picking some clothes I went back to my room. There still was time before they wanted me to leave the ship. I was nervous about it. Out there could be who knows what and I still had no idea if those people actually meant well. It seemed like they did, but when had that ever meant anything?

My mind wandered back to the scene in the wardrobe and I shivered. Why had he even been there? Only to scare me? One moment he had actually seemed quite nice, but then he had snapped so suddenly. And that look. It didn't need much face reading skills to see that he hated me.

My eyes landed on a small rectangular device on the desk and I picked up the old smartphone. At least that had been true. It really had been in here the entire time. Now that I had it, though, I didn't actually know who to even contact. First of all, no one would believe me and secondly… there was no one who would even care.

I scrolled through some old chats and forums, checked the few social media apps I had, but seldom used. No new messages. From no one. The youngest one was a conversation with Max, a guy I had never met and didn't even know what he looked or sounded like. But he was as much into theories about aliens and parallel dimensions and what have you as I was.

The last response was almost two years old.

Nothing from my sisters, nothing from any of the people I met to catch Pokémon with. A few rejection emails from jobs I had applied to. Spam.

And that was all.

For a moment I wondered if the phone had reception, guessing that we probably weren't on earth anymore, but it had no problems connecting with the Internet. One more point that made me doubt the whole alien story. It was too good to be true anyway.

There were a few photos on the phone. Most of them were of random plants and animals from my town. A single one was of the Doctor as he tried to catch a big bird of sorts. I couldn't make out what it was. Then came a few that showed old buildings. Some of them looked medieval, a few as if stemming from the set of a steampunk movie.

And then nothing. For at least eight months or so there had been no new addition.

The phone hadn't even been on when I had found it, so I probably hadn't used it much. Weird. This life here could hardly be so thrilling that I hadn't thought about chatting with anyone. And it definitely should be interesting enough to yield a lot more photos, given that I loved to take them.

A knock at the door startled me out of my pondering.

"Are you there, Lucy?" It was the Doctor, sounding chipper as ever.

"Yeah."

"Oh, good, good. Brilliant! Let's get to the med bay before we leave. I just want to check if all vitals are alright."

I tossed the phone on the table and opened the door, looking up at a smiling face. "Yesterday you said you didn't find anything."

"My sonic didn't." He waved said object in front of my face and pocketed it again. "But I want to do a proper scan too. Just in case. That alright?"

I nodded and let him lead the way. Those hexagonal corridors were confusing enough. Weird then, that they felt so familiar to me. Not only that, somehow I could also feel something like a presence in them. The TARDIS probably. If the ship truly was sentient then this made sense. And it would confirm the weird conversation in the bathroom this morning.

Soon, we reached another door and inside was the first actual proof that this couldn't be human technology. Either that or we were a lot more advanced than they wanted us to know. The room absolutely deserved the term med bay, looking exactly like you would imagine one after having seen enough sci-fi movies and series. There were a few beds that looked surprisingly comfy, meant for more than just a quick check. Then there was, of course, the assortment of devices and tools along the walls and on shelves and pretty much everywhere I looked. Someone must have collected all of them, I decided. Not many devices appeared to match the style and technological state of the others.

"Ah yeah, don't mind the chaos." The Doctor waved me over to one of the comfy looking beds. There was a monitor next to it and a small tablet attached to a movable metal arm carried what might have been syringes and other tools. But none of them told me much. "I like to collect a few things. Here and there. Sometimes… okay, maybe a little too often, but anyway. Sit down, this'll be quick. Won't hurt, I promise."

"That's what they always say." I smirked, but sat down and observed the Doctor as he rummaged through a cabinet and then handled some of the blinking machines.

He approached with a small, but long device, grinning. "Got me. It might sting a liiiittle. But's not as bad as the needles humans use. And completely sterile."

I shrugged and rolled up a sleeve, letting him put the instrument on my skin. I saw no needle, but felt a short sting when he pressed a button. Not much difference to what I remembered from previous doctor visits, but I kept that to myself. Those kinds of pain usually were neglectable and didn't bother me much. A high pain tolerance, as I had once gotten told. I had no idea if that was true, but instead of recoiling I liked to watch as the device slowly filled with the deep red of my own blood. A fascinating sight somehow.

The Doctor put the cannula into a bigger device and let it rest there before applying a patch to the tiny wound on my arm.

"That's done. Now let's get some DNA scans and a few molecular patterns and maybe also a closer scan of that mark on your chest. I still don't know what it is…" With one swift motion he produced those old 3D paper glasses from his jacket and placed them on his nose. "Definitely a high density of void particles, but other than that… Here, take a look yourself."

He handed me the paper glasses and pointed at a mirror a few steps away. Perplexed, I looked at them before carefully slipping them in front of my own glasses. The world instantly looked weird and wrong and I had to fight a short burst of nausea, before getting myself under control again. What a curious way to look at anything, but as soon as I neared the mirror I understood.

Even through my clothes I could clearly make out a small ring of floating black particles on my chest, right where the moving symbol sat. I waved my fingers through it, watching fascinated how the particles swirled away and around my hand, but always returning to their previous position.

"What are they?" I asked. "I mean… not the name. But what are they?"

"Just… stuff. Background radiation." The Doctor shrugged. "Beyond the Time Vortex there is only the void. And it's exactly how it sounds. There is nothing. Nothing at all. Not even time. Sometimes you can travel through it. And if you do, those particles cling to you for a while. I've just never seen them arrange themselves into any sort of pattern before."

"Riiiiiight…." I made. "Time Vortex… and a place that is basically nothing."

"Oh yes!" He beamed. "The space between parallel worlds."

"You do realise how crazy that sounds?"

"Yup!"

His smile didn't falter and he happily rocked back and forth on his heels, regarding me with a twinkling look, all while letting different devices wander over me from all sites.

"You'll have to prove at least some of those things for me to believe any of it," I drawled. He practically danced around me. "Could all still be some weird underground Umbrella Corp thing and I'm not going to help you develop any viruses. Just for the record."

Now the Doctor's face fell. His lips pursed. "No viruses and other stuff. I'm not the Master. That'd be his domain. No! Nope!" Suddenly the grin popped back up. "Just here to have some funsies! See the universe and awesome places and meet some interesting fellas!" With a dramatic gesture he spread his hands. "And our first stop will be a biiiiiiig huge old market right in the centre of the feremto nebula. You loved that place. There was everything! And everyone. From everywhere! No better place for a first contact with aliens!" He stopped and tilted his head. "Weeeell… second contact. But to you they'll also look alien. That should convince you. And maybe shake some memories awake. What do you say?"

I was about to say that he talked way too much and way too fast, but I also kept that to myself. He seemed like a nice guy and I didn't want to make enemies on my first day. So I only nodded. "Yeah, sounds fun. Let's go."

Chapter 16: Part IV (IV)

The Doctor certainly hadn't promised too much. If at all then maybe too little. The market brimmed with life and colour and movement and smells. Someone had opened a library of fantasy and sci-fi literature and had let all the creatures and technologies and all the magic out into the world.

Donna laughed at that description and grabbed my hand so I wouldn't get lost in the crowd.

The Doctor followed, sulking a little. Just moments ago he had proudly shown the outside of the TARDIS to me, the small blue telephone box that could impossibly fit everything that was inside. It was a surprise at first, but when I stroked a finger over the old wood I just knew I had seen it before.

"Sooooo…?" He had enquired, hands in his pockets and leaned down slightly.

"It's cool, yeah. Something to do with dimensions, right?"

And promptly the pouting had started. Donna nudged me when I looked back for the probably tenth time. "He'll get over it. Boys and their cars." Playfully she rolled her eyes.

It was good to have her. Donna was a great way to check if I had done something stupid or if everyone else was just the way they… well, were. Besides, the Doctor didn't seem to be really sulking, his dark look promptly vanishing when we strolled past an ice cream booth.

I kept looking, however. Not for him, but for the other one. The scene from the wardrobe wouldn't leave my mind and I wondered what exactly I had done to upset the Master that much. What history did we share?

"Oi! Eyes to the front, Lucy!" Donna scolded, then grinned. "You wanted some aliens and here they are. But your head's somewhere else entirely."

"How comes this place has the right composition of oxygen for not only us to breathe but everyone else too? And…" I did a little test jump and noted surprised that I landed back not quite as fast as I was used to. "Okay, mavity's a bit off, but still…"

"It's because you're not breathing oxygen," the Doctor chimed in. "It's an artificial nano component they developed some centuries back. It adapts itself to the structure of whatever the respective species need to breathe. Low telepathic field helps of course. A standard on every section 3c planet."

"Like the TARDIS?"

"Mhm."

The Doctor proceeded to tell us more technical details, but my mind wandered off again, this time to actually admire the place we were in. A bear in a suit presented handbags to a group of humanoid women in colourful dresses. Next to him sat a booth with an alien that looked like a mixture of octopus and pig, floating around on a hover disc and telling their customers about the latest video games for a system I couldn't pronounce. There were people as small as garden gnomes and others twice as tall as us and thin as twigs. A swarm of otters flew past us right as Donna found a collection of gemstone necklaces and later we got snacks from what might only be described as human sized fluff balls. The eyes were barely visible and I had no idea how it managed to do anything at all, seeing no visible hands.

It turned out the Doctor had money for this place. He wouldn't tell us from where exactly, but it was enough to have some fun with it. A plush toy of a thing that cannot be named, some figurines of spacecrafts and a pretty dress for Donna later, we strolled along the food section to pick something out for dinner. The Doctor had stories about stories to tell, covering seemingly everything and he was a good guide for what foods to eat with a human metabolism and which ones to avoid in case we valued being alive and well.

"Shouldn't we take some back?" I asked through a mouthful of some grilled meat with a spicy sauce that almost made my eyes water. "For the Master. I bet he'll sulk if we don't."

Donna giggled, almost choking on her food and the Doctor also smirked knowingly. "Is that a memory?"

"Mhhh… I don't think so. I haven't remembered anything at all here. But he seems to be the moody type, so…"

"Oh, you have no idea," mumbled Donna.

"Yeah, let's get him some snacks. He likes those most," the Doctor agreed, a fork half in his hand, half between his teeth. "I think I've seen his favourite somewhere."

In thoughts, I poked another piece of meat with my wooden fork. Despite the spiciness it was delicious. "Maybe I should get him something too. As an apology."

"What for?" Donna munched on the last of her bread sticks (or whatever those actually were). "Were you cheeky?"

"I… I don't know." I sat down the fork and looked into the distance, at chattering and laughing people, soft and garish colours, at the three sun's slowly setting in the distance. "I think I said something weird. Or stupid. Maybe both. He got pretty pissed at me."

"Oh my." Donna sighed and hit the Doctor's arm.

"Ou! What do I have to do wi-"

"Well, talk to him! He should be happy to have Lucy back an' not be such a brat!"

"I don't think I could say or do anything." The Doctor rubbed his arm at the spot where he was hit. "How should I even know what's bugging him?”

"Well, you're his boyfriend now, think of something!"

"I'm not his anything!" squeaked the Doctor, his  face adapting a deep shade of red. The straw he had been playing with was suddenly forgotten, rolling a few centimetres away. Donna already opened her mouth to protest, but the Doctor cut her off with a sharp gaze. "It can't be. Never can. Not like this. Not like… like humans do it. There is no…" He shook his head. "There's too much history between us and too big a chasm."

At that he fell silent, eyes glued to the table. Misery was practically rolling off of him and I placed a hand on his arm, just squeezing a little, without needing words. The Doctor looked up at me and he smiled. A sad smile and one that maybe tried to tell me something, but I didn't know what.

"I'll talk to him," he promised, taking my hand and winking. "Can't let him be stupid now, can I?"

How strange this was. These people actually seemed to care about how I felt and made an effort to better a situation I didn't even completely understand. So I only nodded and mumbled a thanks before we made our way back, the sunset behind us.

This had been a great day, I decided. The anxiety of being thrown into so many new things was still lingering within me, but it was muffled now, a sleeping shadow instead of a roaring beast.

I took a last glance at the planet behind us and entered the TARDIS behind the other two. A welcoming hum tugged at the edges of my consciousness and the warm orange glow of the control room was a soothing contrast to the colourful outside.

The Master was there, sitting cross legged on the ground and tinkering with what seemed to be a part of the console. Different components lay strewn around him, some half taken apart, others clearly broken. He looked up when he noticed us entering and grunted, heaving himself up to his feet.

"How did you manage to keep this thing flying for the past centuries?" he whined, pointing behind him. "The central heating is completely off again. And this mess you slapped together here only made it worse."

"You cold, all of a sudden, alien boy?" Donna chuckled.

"No. Bored." The Master threw away the tool he had held and gave the console a flick with his fingers. "And a bit annoyed. Can't have it when things don't work like they're supposed to." Strangely enough, he looked in my direction when he said that, but that might have been a coincidence.

The Doctor coughed awkwardly. "Weeell… at least you haven't done harm. The TARDIS would have zapped you otherwise. Or worse. She's still bit cross with you."

"Whatever." The Master rolled his eyes.

I took the following silence as a clue to step forward and hold out a bag with sweets and other treats. "Here, we brought you something. They didn't have waffles, though."

"Waffles?" The Master raised an eyebrow and peeked inside the bag. "How do you know I like them?"

"Do you?" I grinned. "It was just a hunch."

Immediately his face dropped and he carelessly dropped the bag on a jump seat, strolling over to the Doctor, who also had a, smaller, bag with him.

"And that?" The Master pointed down.

"Kerola crisps!" The Doctor beamed from ear to ear. "I know you love them. I couldn't get you away from the stash during the kerissa invasion. You almost foiled your own plan just to get them."

The Master hummed and snatched the small package out of the Doctor's hand, right before grabbing him with the free one. The taller man stiffened, his hands shooting up in an attempt of defence. From what he probably didn't even know. And when the Master grabbed his tie and dragged him down, he only gave off a confused noise, right before it got swallowed by the Master's mouth covering his own.

I blinked, perplexed. Aside from Donna's comments, nothing about those two had indicated that they were close. Not until now, at least, judging by the lack of protest from the Doctor. It was none of my business, of course, and yet… for the small fraction of time that the kiss lasted I felt something cold in my guts.

Finally the Doctor pushed himself away, panting as if they had been snogging intensely instead of the almost chaste kiss they had shared. His doe eyes glared at the Master, an unspoken question within them.

Donna nudged me. She had a mischievous smile on her lips and she motioned me to follow her deeper into the TARDIS to leave the two aliens alone.

---

.

---

"I uh… uhm… 'm happy to see you too." The Doctor had a hard time regaining his composure. He had grabbed the rim of the console for support and just glared.

The Master was unsure if he wanted to laugh or mock the other man, or maybe both. Both sounded good. He only needed to find the right jibe to hit in a spot that would make him squirm.

The Doctor, however, didn't stay baffled for long. Instead, his look turned dark and he pushed the Master away with much more force than he had anticipated.

"That was unnecessary!" the Doctor scolded. "What were you even hoping to achieve there?"

"It was only a 'welcome back'." The Master smiled innocently.

"You wanted to get a reaction." The other Time Lord sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "And not from me. From Lucy. What do you think will happen? She doesn't remember! You can't make someone jealous who doesn't even know they should be!"

The Master let the tirade go over his head, only listening half. The last piece of the half broken gerallium fuse was more interesting. It was the main antagonist in his heating problem. He only set it down when the Doctor was finally done.

"She never had a problem with us-" he pointed back and forth between them "being a thing. That wouldn't even work if she remembered anything."

"But you hoped it would trigger something."

"No, I did not." The fuse was repaired, so the Master dropped on his haunches to place it back into the TARDIS console. "Why should I care anyway? A broken toy is no fun. There, done. You can thank me later."

He got up to his feet again, dusting himself off. A part of him expected the Doctor to get angry, anticipated it even. What he didn't foresee was that the Doctor suddenly shot forward and pinned the Master against the console, his hand fisting into his collar, eyes sparking with delicious anger.

"She's a person, not a toy! How dare you. How can you just give everything up like that?"

The Master slowly grinned. "You… You of all people should now, my dear Doctor." He tried to lean forward, but the other man's grip was like iron. Sometimes the Master wondered who might be physically stronger. "How to move on, how to forget. Humans are fragile. They are no use for anything but toying around. They break too fast. And look! My pet broke."

Only then, only when the last words had left his lips did the Master realise his voice had gotten a little shakier with every second until he was barely able to whisper by the end, choking on something he tried to push back with force before it had the chance to break out of him. Fuck! That was not meant to happen. He wanted to rile up the Doctor, he wanted to show that he didn't care. At all.

If only it were true.

The Doctor slowly loosened his grip, but didn't let go of the Master's collar. No, he dipped forward and connected their foreheads, breathing out a sigh. "What happened to your infamous patience? We can fix this."

"How?" whispered the Master. His hands slid to the Doctor's hip, not dragging, not kneading, only holding tight. "What do you know about the void? As much as I do. Which is barely anything at all."

"I'll figure it out." The Doctor's thumbs rubbed the cloth between them in small circles. "I'd do it for her anyway. But I'll also do it for you, Kos-"

The Master shot up and crashed his mouth to the Doctor's. Their balance tipped, but they didn't stumble. Hands tightened, some around the Master's collar, some around the Doctor's hips. It was messy, there were teeth and maybe even a bite.

"Don't." The Master broke away a fraction. "Don't you ever use that name again." And if anyone was ever able to make a kiss feel like a threat it surely was him. "I'm not him anymore."

The Doctor lowered his head, but since he was bigger it didn't make much of a change. "These days you might be more like him than you think."

Time does not have the ability to just freeze. Yet, in this very moment, it did. The coldest shiver crept up the Master's spine and settled in his crown. A scream built in his guts, deep, deep inside his self and there was no way to let it out. He couldn't connect with the Doctor, lest he wanted to risk the drums taking over, he couldn't connect with Lucy, because she didn't even remember it was a thing. And for the fraction of this frozen time the Master felt utterly lost and too alone in his own mind.

And he hated every second of it, pushed the Doctor away with enough force to make him stumble and stormed out of the room without looking back.

Chapter 17: Part IV (V)

"So… Guess aliens are real," I concluded, watching the Doctor read the output of a scan he had taken with some weird device. We were back in the med bay to see if the previous tests of his had yielded anything useful.

The Doctor chuckled and pushed his glasses up. He didn't look my way. "Thought you'd like the place. There was no better way to convince you."

I hummed. It was true. And it was strange how calm I felt about it all. Normally this would have freaked me out, in the best way possible. And maybe also in a few not so good ones. Now though, my feelings were calm, even. The panic had gone too, now that I could settle somewhat. There still remained a tiny possibility that they had abducted me or whatever, the Master's story seemed more legit. Something weird had happened during the life force transfer and now I lacked a big chunk of my memory; not more and not less unlikely as any other scenario.

"Try again," said the Doctor and attached a metal pin to my temple, a cold one. "What is the last memory you can access before waking up? I know it's uncomfortable, but please, try."

"'kay…" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying not to focus on anything specific.

Behind my eyes stretched a field of blackness, only broken by more, darker shapes. I could make out sounds and colours, scenes from days long gone by. My life had been too unsteady and too uniform at the same time. One day went by like the other, special occasions a rarity. There was my thirtieth birthday that not a single person had remembered until late in the evening when I had decided to drop a hint in a chat room. There were endless days of just wandering around, killing time. An afternoon with some acquaintances, sitting in the sun with a cool beer, chatting about everything and nothing.

I described it in a few details to the Doctor and he nodded, encouraging me to search further.

Someone had taken me on a hiking trip. An unexpected path led us to a part of the trail where it got obvious that the only way further was up. It wasn't too difficult and we didn't need ropes to climb. But for me it was exciting and when we stood at the top, marked by an iron cross, I felt like the whole world lay below me.

But that reached further back. I wanted to know about what lay closer. And again, each time my mind wandered to a place that could be anywhere near to when all of this had started, my head hurt all of a sudden. I couldn't get past it, everything started to shake and turn and I only realised that I was about to collapse when the Doctor caught my shoulders.

"It's alright. Don't stress yourself too much."

"Feels like I fall into a hole whenever I try, I groaned and leaned against his hands for support. And maybe also for comfort. "This's all so weird."

"I can imagine." The Doctor leaned down to give me a smile. "Want a hug? I'm a great hugger!"

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Please."

The Doctor beamed like a puppy and flung his long arms around me, squeezing me tight and long. I sighed into his shoulder and held on just as firm. Nothing about him alerted my instincts and so I simply enjoyed the gesture. He smelled like warm sunshine and also felt that way, a warm source of light that slowly seeped into me, a comfort I couldn't remember ever having before. And yet…

"That was thirty seconds," announced the Doctor proudly when he stepped back. "Humans need at least twenty to release oxytocin. That's the stuff that makes you feel good."

I chuckled. "Thanks. I really needed that." And, after a pause, I also asked, "and the tests? Did you get any results?"

Instantly, the Doctor's expression dropped. He pursed his lips and shook his head, looking like someone had just stolen his favourite toy. It almost made me grin and also wonder how a person could be so old and yet so childish. And then I wondered how I might know that he was old. Several centuries. And I told him so.

"Nine hundred years!" The smile sprang back on his face. "Well, give or take some. Gets a bit hard to keep track."

"Guess so."

"But great! You do remember things! Maybe it's just details, but that's great anyway. Not all is lost. And those snippets are probably the best proof that this was and is all real."

"It's a bit much, all of it," I muttered. "You can't blame me for doubting it."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, 'cause not. I understand. But we'll fix it, promise."

---

.

---

It wasn't that easy. Each day that passed from then on made me feel like an intruder into everyone's lives. They all knew another, they all had history they shared. There were adventures and people they've met and befriended. There were stories and fascinating sights and everything was tied together.

The only loose end was I.

This felt the same as all the other times I had tried to be with other people. The countless hours sitting together with so-called friends, enjoying the sun and cool drinks, chatting away about everything and nothing, taking a peek into their oh so normal lives. And I could not understand. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. Their worries and ambitions made no sense to me. What everyone valued and treasured and strived for was, for me, nothing to be bothered about. Why waste so much time and energy on things you will lose anyway? On people who will leave you behind in the end.

For the most part I kept quiet. Donna was good at getting me out of that bubble, but even her efforts couldn't quite cheer me up.

The Doctor wanted to take me on adventures, but after hearing the stories of previous ones I plainly refused. I had no desire to throw myself into danger and even less to do it for people I barely knew.

I didn't tell them the last part. They wouldn't understand. People never do. They only ever expect. And when it comes to them to help, they vanish. It was a rule I had to learn the hard way and from the very beginning of my life.

Dont care. Don't bind yourself to anyone. Don't get attached to anything.

After the third day I hid in the library.

I had been glaring at the black mark on my chest way too long again. And what better way to find distraction than books? On top of that, the library also proved to be quite special. Like many things in the TARDIS, it used a low telepathic field and it guided me subtly to the books I had been looking for.

None of them helped. Or rather, I didn't have the patience, nor the focus to read through them. And the TARDIS only gave me an amused mental nudge when I suggested she could just upload the information into my brain. It left me with the only remaining option, reading the summary and thumbing through glossaries and table of contents to see if anything piqued my interest.

"You're not going to learn anything here that will bring back those lost memories."

I hurled around, almost letting my current book fall. The Master stood leaned against a shelf, ankles and arms crossed. Anyone else might have seen it as a posture of relaxation, but he couldn't hide the weird energy he practically radiated. I was pretty sure one didn't need to have my stupid empathic abilities to feel a shiver run up their spines at that. He eyed me curiously, a cat observing its prey. Every single one of my movements seemed to be under scrutiny.

Unnerving.

"Been reading through other stuff before." My fingertips wandered over bound spines, feeling gold and silver letters, sometimes none at all. The book in my hands found its old spot between its equals. "'Bout… people."

"Psychology?" The Master scoffed "Thought you'd have enough of it already. You don't need to appear human enough amongst aliens." And a grin spread on his face that wanted to be malicious, mocking, yet failed to do both.

Probably.

For me at least. But what does that mean anyway, when you're bad at reading faces. He knew. That this was an interest of mine. Someone had told him, maybe myself.

"I read about Donna 'n the Doctor." A pause. "And about you."

The Master's eyes narrowed, the grin vanished. Instead, he chuckled and looked away. "I'll tell you one thing about your past." The carpet seemed to be extraordinarily interesting all of a sudden. He wouldn't look at me. "You never read up on anything regarding Time Lords, before. It surprised me a little, honestly. I had to tell you the simplest details."

"Maybe there were more interesting things, then," I mumbled. There must have been a lot going on that I hadn't even thought about research. Now though…

"Well, fill me in." His voice dropped to something that was almost a growl and now he did lift his eyes, meeting mine with a scrutinising stare. "Who am I? How am I?"

A trick question. Or an honest one? He had to know what the archives held about him. I managed to hold his gaze for a few seconds and it burned me. Somewhere deep inside, a knife twisting. "You're as calculated as compulsive," I started, keeping my voice low and my look down. "You don't care about anything or anyone… not even yourself. I read that you destroyed big chunks of galaxies, burned down planets and cities just for the fun of it. And you enslaved all of earth for an entire year just to piss off the Doctor."

So many lives had been lost because of him. Numbers that were supposed to make me shiver, but were too big to comprehend properly.

"Does that scare you?" The Master pushed himself away from the bookshelf and towered over me, his eyes burning with malicious amusement.

All those lives. All those planets.

Numbers.

Without any meaning. I stared up at him, searching for anything within me that should happen. Disgust, anger and, yes, fear also.

"I… should be, shouldn't I?" An honest question. Silently I pleaded with him to give me an answer. An answer as to why I was not scared at all. "But there's just nothing. You don't frighten me."

"Well, one can hope." The Master chuckled. "But I guess some things will never change."

Something about him… softened. A sharp edge melted away, leaving nothing of the Master's radiating flaming danger behind. The change startled me. It was such a difference to before. Only when he took a step towards me did my stupor crack and I stumbled backwards, hitting a shelf.

"I told ya not to touch me," I hissed. "I mean it. I'll kick 'n bite 'n scream."

The Master stopped dead in his tracks and squinted his eyes shut. His hands clenched to fists. "I won't." A deep sigh escaped him and suddenly there was nothing threatening about him anymore. All that was left was deep sadness and then a crooked smile, a mask to hide it. "I just like to mess with you sometimes. You know, old habits die hard."

"Like hurtin' everyone you cross paths with?" I took another step back. "I've had enough bullies in my life. Don't need another one."

It wasn't fear, no. It was worse than that. From what I had gathered he was everything that represented misery in my life. People who hurt you only because they are stronger or just because they can. People who play games with you just to see you suffer and push you into shrubs or holes as soon as you get boring.

"Like that, indeed." He replied with almost a whisper. A fact admitted. "It's not all I am, though. Believe it or not or…" And there his eyes lit up. "Let me prove it."

"How?"

"You can see into my mind."

I tilted my head, uncertain if he was messing with me.

"Touch telepathy."

Something stirred in my memory. It sounded familiar. Or maybe I only knew about it from books. It sounded intimate, too much for my current taste and too much like allowing someone into places they had no business being in. Especially not since I had no clue how we stood with each other. It could be a trap to break my mind. It could be something even worse I couldn't even imagine.

It played exactly into the pattern all the I formation had revealed about the Master. He loved to play a role to lure his victims into false safety, so he could then sacrifice them for whatever his current plan was.

"No. Get lost. I'm not falling for any of it. Just because my memory is gone doesn't mean I'm stupid. Hurt someone else with your sick games."

The Master just stood there, watching me. And maybe, if I had been a little less on edge and a little less sensitive in that moment, I would have seen how much he was hurt. Later, when I had been a little more at ease, the picture of his devastated face appeared again and made me reconsider.

But not then.

Seconds ticked by. The Master swallowed and blinked a few times before abruptly turning away. "Good," he muttered. "You're smarter now than the first time around."

Only that and nothing else.

He left and I stayed alone with my thoughts. For the rest of the day I didn't speak much. Not when Donna chatted about a movie she wanted to see, not when the Doctor did more tests and told me, none of the results so far showed anything unusual or related to the void matter; barely a word left my mouth when we had dinner in a place that served three headed fish and also not when I vanished into my room for the night.

For a long while after that I lay in bed and glared at the glowing fake stars on my ceiling, contemplating how I could apologise for being so harsh. Maybe Donna would help me to bake some fresh waffles, maybe the Doctor would have a better idea.

Maybe…

So many maybes…

In the end I drifted into a restless slumber.

The next morning the Master was gone.

Chapter 18: Part IV (VI)

"What'ya mean, gone? Can't you take a hold of your mate for one second, Doctor? And where's he supposed to go anyway? Aren't we in the vortex?"

"Uhm…. actually, no. I parked near a rift to refuel." The Doctor rubbed his neck with a crooked grin. "We're on the planet Herith, thirty-seventh century of their time. Nothing too remarkable about the place, really. Bit like earth. Ups and downs."

Donna sighed. "Well, then he can't be too far. Maybe just out gettin' groceries? You know, since he started cooking, the ridiculous idiot."

"Mhm… hope so. 'S just… I'm sure he would have told me."

"Why can he even leave just like that?" I wondered aloud, playing with the rim of my coffee mug. "Guy like him probably shouldn't be running around on his own."

The same moment the words had left me, I realised that something about them had been incredibly stupid or wrong. Both, Donna and the Doctor, stared at me as if I had told the unspeakable, as if that question had shattered their world into uncomfortable little pieces. They exchanged a look with one another, making me feel even more stupid.

"It's just…" I muttered, "The stuff I read 'bout him. And…" I made a vague gesture and shrugged.

"Weeell…" The Doctor seemed at a loss for words. For roughly five seconds, that is. "It's all true, that. He can be… uhh… challenging." Immediately his hands shot up. "But that's not all he is. Not always. He's changed the past few years, I'm certain!"

Of course. That was possible. People could change, I knew that.

"Even I have to admit that there's more to him than meets the eye," said Donna. "Insufferable a twat as he may be."

"Let's just take a stroll outside," the Doctor suggested. "Maybe he'll be back until then."

---

.

---

Herith was not a bit like earth, as the Doctor had called it. The city we had landed in was as big as a quarter of the whole planet, as I soon learned. Their industry had spiked some hundred years ago and since then their growth had never stopped.

But it wasn't how you would picture a place as enormous as this. Yes, there were pipes and machines and buildings so tall they vanished inside low hanging clouds. But there was also an incredible amount of green. Trees stood tall and ancient between houses, shrubs peeked out from corners and side walks. There were entire streets with long flower beds and climbing roots that coloured the walls in shades from green to red and everything in between.

And still, the Doctor was right too. Somehow the places reminded me a lot of earth and it wasn't only because the inhabitants looked human. It took half a day of wandering the city, visiting different shops and snacking on various street foods for me to put a finger on it. And even then it was hard to describe. Because, you see, the place felt like earth; the people did. The way they talked and walked, the way they hung up advertisement posters for products and elections. The slogans were the same ones you'd find in earthen cities.

Not everyone was happy with how things worked here. Not everyone welcomed the decisions of their government as enthusiastically as they should. Here and there we heard people chat about politics and it seemed to be on everyone's mind.

Those people seemed to have been through a rough time just recently. But I stopped paying attention to it. None of this was any of my business, after all and my mind was occupied by more recent events. Donna tried to cheer me up by dragging me into a shop that sold cute pets. The Doctor tried the same with candy and stories about the past of the place.

None of it worked.

And then everything went to hell.

A loud explosion rattled the glass windows along the whole street, the shock wave blowing forcefully against us in an almost successful attempt to sweep us off our feet. Donna grabbed my arm, the Doctor pushed himself against a wall, only to immediately pull out his sonic screwdriver to scan the environment as soon as the wave had passed.

We followed him quickly through a mass of disoriented and shocked people. Rubble lay strewn all over the streets, children cried, two men clung to each other whilst another one shook the shoulders of an older lady, begging her to open her eyes. The stench of burnt metal made it hard to breathe; it created a strange mix with the smoke and the smell of street food that still lingered.

I held onto Donna's hand as we stumbled forward, half running, half climbing and evading whatever lay on the ground. It wasn't even a long way, but it felt like I had run a marathon when we finally stopped in front of a posh building.

Or what's left of it.

Imagine a building big as a palace, with a dome and pillars like the ancient Romans had used. Imagine half a hundred stairs climbing upwards to meet with the delicately chiselled stones of wolf statues, looming over the city, eternal watchers. The colour on their surface broke away, cracked open.

Imagine fires.

Fires as big as the palace itself reached upwards from within the crippled dome. Burning fingers that wanted to touch the sky. Their light reflected in a myriad of coloured splinters of glass that lay scattered over the place like the mockery of snowflakes, some charred, some half molten. The flames licked against white stone, painting it dark, forcing it to burst where the heat overwhelmed structures that might have stood there since ancient times or even longer. They crumbled, they fell, they spread like the wings of something dead around the stairs and there…

There, at the bottom of those stairs, in the midst of all the chaos, of screaming stone and the corpse of history sat a lonely figure. He rested his head on one hand, elbow on his knee, watching everything unfold below him like it was an interesting play. White flakes of ash slowly freckled his brown hair, his face didn't move. For a moment, not even his eyes did.

Blink.

Then a smile. One that slowly widened to a menacing grin, stretched unnaturally by the light of the spreading fires.

In the distance rang a bell.

"Why?"

The Doctor stepped forwards, although his stride wasn't as steady as it normally was. He also didn't walk all the way to the stairs and instead stood still just far enough away for the Master to hear him. A waft of smoke enveloped him like a second coat.

The Master took his time to glare, still with the uncanny grin on his lips. There was a moment, only one, where his eyes rested on me, but it went by fast enough to be mistaken for imagination.

"It's pretty," he said eventually. "Just look at the fire. It dances, Doctor, can't you see it?"

"I see people bleeding in the streets."

"Mhm-mm." The Master nodded his head slowly, as if he was thinking about those words. "Can't say I didn't miss this." A deep exhale, still smiling. "That's a vacation to my taste."

The Doctor took half a step closer, not more, but he straightened his posture, gesturing up to the burning monument of history. "But why? After all we've been through, Master, after all this time you were with me and now that again? What even is your goal here?"

"My goal?" He cocked his head to the side and looked almost puzzled for a second. "Ohhhh! Oh, oh I get it." He laughed out loud all of a sudden and clapped his hands together, rising from the stairs. "No Doctor, I'm not playing with you again."

"This isn't a game!"

"No. No, you're right." The Master looked past the Doctor and at Donna now. "But you two… I should have known. Yes, Doctor… After all we've been through, after all…" He locked eyes with the other man, suddenly snarling in his face. "And now I'm not going to let you put a leash on me again! I heard you talk yesterday. I know you plan to lock me away! Tell you what? Not gonna happen!"

Confused, I looked between Donna and the Time Lords. This was not about the conversation from this morning. No, apparently they had been talking about the same thing too. And now it made sense why they had looked at me the way they had. Not because they thought me stupid, but because they had had the same thought.

"You should've listened to the end then, mate!" Donna snapped. She took one single step closer, but didn't dare another. "T'was only half the talk!"

"She's right," muttered the Doctor. "We didn't-"

"Oh shut up." The Master pushed against the Doctor. Hard. And growled as he stumbled backwards. "This is so you! Lulling me in with promises and fake love just to make me complacent and then put another collar around my neck! You're disgusting, Doctor."

"I wasn't going to… That wasn't…"

"The Doctor doesn't want to collar you, you moron!" called Donna. "That's why we talked. We just wante-"

A beam of glowing hot light hit the ground right in front of her feet, making her jump away with a shriek. The Master lowered the slim device in his hands with a dark look.

"Not one more word." His voice was so dark, so angry. I wished there would be something I could do or say. Anything. But right now, right here, I was utterly useless. The Master slowly walked backwards, up the burning stairs until he was surrounded by smoke and fire. "Why would I want to stay with you lot anyway? I know when I'm not welcome and I have no desire to have your hating stares in my back all day."

"I don't think anyone hates you," I tossed in, just to say something. But was it the truth?

"No?" A sad smile whizzed over his face. "What about you, little light? You want me gone, don't you? Don't lie."

It wasn't fair. I couldn't even remember what I wanted or not. "How am I supposed to know?" I whined. "And you were creepy and mean every time we talked. Of course I don't want that!"

The Master dipped his head to the side, maybe acknowledging my words. "Yeah… Not my best manners, I admit. Doesn't matter. This here is still more fun."

I didn't understand. None of this made sense. If he wanted me to like him then why had he made clear that he was not approachable.

"Fun?" Donna snapped. "This is no fun! There are dead people an' do you even know how old that building there was? D'you even care?"

"Can't it stop?" the Doctor pleaded now. "The killing? We had our own fun, didn't we? Why this, Master? Why does it have to be-" he waved his hand to encapsulate the environment- "death?"

And why plead with a mad man? What could they see in him that I couldn't? All I saw was fire and smoke and ashes. The world burned and in the centre stood a single man. Responsible and even thriving in it.

The Master spread out his arms, glaring down at each of us. "Yeah, look, look closer, this is who I am, in case you forgot. Bathe in it! Smell the fire and the blood in the air and remember that this is me!" He shot another laser beam in the Doctor's direction when he tried to move. "Fuck off! All of you! This planet is mine now. Mine!"

"No, Master, stop it befo-"

But it already was too late. With a last step the other Time Lord had vanished into the ever growing smoke cloud. No trace was left of him. Only the smell of destruction stayed and the soft sniffing of Donna.

Soon, we had to move, lest we wanted to suffocate. One last time I dared to look back, when an ear piercing crack split the pantheon in half, releasing a stream of smoke and fire and embers that shined like rising stars.

There, for a second, I could even understand why the Master had called it pretty.

Chapter 19: Part IV (VII)

Notes:

Whooops... is it really been that long since the last chapter? *cough*
I've been on a holiday for one of those weeks and didn't write a single word... :V
And now it's hot outside and my body hates me. But here we are!!!!!!!!!!

A long shower helped only half as much as I had hoped. The smell of smoke and the feeling of soot on my skin still lingered. Not literally, of course, but that didn't matter.

We had fled through the still smouldering ruins the explosion had created. The area wasn't that big, but the damage painted it clearly into my mind. The Doctor had tried to sonic the surroundings to see where the Master might have gone, but it was no use. There had been too much static noise. Whatever that might be.

All we could do now was to wait and hope he would show himself again.

Waiting.

I sighed at the mirror in my bathroom and wiped away the coating of humidity, only to stare at the ever changing and moving mark that sat on my chest, mocking me with its presence and the unsolved mystery behind it.

Void particles. A place that held nothing itself. But how could nothing decide to form a circle? How could it burn itself into skin? I placed a hand over the symbol, trying to feel anything. But it neither had texture, nor did it emanate any form of perceivable energy. And, as always when I did this, the slight purple colour seemed to be a little brighter for some seconds.

There was nothing left to do but to get some rest. The room invited me with its cool temperature, perfect for snuggling under the blankets and getting comfy.

I couldn't sleep.

Of course I couldn't. Stupid of me to even try. After an hour of tossing and turning I slipped out from under the covers again and… stopped.

There had been a thought in my head, an idea. Something so automatic that I hadn't even questioned it. To go to the Master's room. To bug him for a while, as if I had done this already. Many times, in fact.

A memory?

Maybe more of a habit. I ran a hand over my face and tried to conjure up more, only to be met with a headache. Groaning, I fell back into the cushions, waiting for the pain to ebb away. I could go nowhere. Donna slept, surely exhausted by the day's events and the Doctor… as much as he tried to be kind and understanding, I never quite felt understood by him. A barrier too high or maybe too strange lay between us. And right now the only thing I wanted was to be understood. And there gnawed a feeling on my insides that I had experienced exactly that. Once, although I had been convinced that it was impossible.

But tonight I would not find any comfort.

---

.

---

The hours dragged on until I finally decided to get up again and play some video games for a while. It helped make me more tired, but didn't make my thoughts any quieter. At least I found some rest, after all and in the 'morning' I poured myself an extra strong coffee with a bit of hazelnut syrup. The TARDIS spawned the latter next to my cup, much to my delight.

With this treat in my hand I decided it was time to face the others again and strolled to the console room. Donna herself looked as if she hadn't slept much and the Doctor - if he ever slept at all - looked not only tired, but also worried. Even I could tell.

I also could tell that they had talked right before I came in. The silence that now hung in the air was thick and uncomfortable.

"You know, it would be easier to talk to me instead of about me." This annoyed me, but I wasn't in the mood to let it get to me. I yawned and flopped down into one of the jump seats, letting my feet dangle.

"We weren't…" Donna gnawed on her bottom lip. "Not 'bout you anyway. Not directly. 'S just hard not to, you know. You're part of this. Us." She pointed between the Doctor and her.

"I just talked about various ways to find out where exactly the Master is hiding. He can't get very far. No means of transportation and all. Weeell… not away from the planet or through time anyway. Could still travel far on the surface. Anywhere. But I'm sure he won't. Wouldn't be his style."

"And he probably wants to rile you up 'n make you fight to get'im back." Donna chuckled, but the gleeful expression vanished fast when the Doctor only scowled.

"Whatever he's doing out there, I need to stop it; before it escalates." He sighed, burying his face in his hands, elbows on the console. "Why? Why is he doing that? We've come so far. He's changed so much. I don't get it."

The monitor beeped, demanding all of our attention. Orange and green lights blinked in various patterns around the edge. The Doctor read the outprint and scowled. "He didn't move."

"Whaddya mean, he didn't move? He can't be in that burning thing still! It's… well it's burning for a start!" Donna threw her hands up.

"Not anymore."

"Now that makes it so much better."

"The readings…. this isn't just a monument. There is also stuff underground. Metal walls. Can't get a signal through those. Aaand… behind. I mean behind the monument. There is a house, villa of some sorts. That's still intact. I think he's in there." The Doctor pressed a button and brought up another screen. It showed rhythms and numbers, moving lines. "There are several life signatures and one of them-" he pointed at a particular line– "has a double pulse."

Two hearts.

The Master had wanted to show me, prove it.

"So, we go in and drag'im outta there. And you punch his stupid alien face."

"Oi, I'm an alien too!"

"Less annoying though."

The Doctor pursued his lips and then sighed. "It won't be that easy to get inside. Knowing him he already installed security. Meaning people. He knows I won't risk harming them."

"And I didn't say, oh, you know what? How 'bout you throw a bomb on that thing? No, Doctor, just talk to him."

"Talk? Donna, you saw what happened when we just talked! You really think it will work out better a few hours later?"

"Then ask for a date."

The Doctor groaned and slumped against the console, head buried in his hands. I exchanged a short look with Donna, but couldn't read what her face tried to tell me. I could only feel the distress around her, in the whole room. They bantered to soothe their fear, their uncertainty.

I felt lost here, in the wrong place. I had nothing to contribute, nothing to say, to ask, to offer.

"He should have listened to the end," The Doctor murmured. "I don't want to chain him. I promised I wouldn't. I told him I… why can't he just trust me for once?"

He acted slowly, each press of any button as heavy as if they needed a great amount of strength to move.

"Whoa, what'ya doing, Doctor? You can't leave! Tell me you won't just leave?"

Silence. For a few painful seconds. Did he consider?

"Of course not," he whispered.

My guts twisted. This was irrational. It made no sense.

"Why not?" I asked and all eyes landed on me. The Doctor's puzzled, Donna's shocked. "You said he can't go anywhere else. It means you don't need any chains."

"Good?" The Doctor exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. "No, not at all."

"We don't know what he'd do to the place!" objected Donna. "We can't strand'im here."

I shrugged. "So let him have that one planet. Save the rest of the universe. Sounds like the lesser evil to me."

"He might kill and torture the population!" whined Donna. "We can't let him do that! How can you even suggest that, Lucy? And don't ya want to get him back here? At least to kick him for being an idiot to you!"

"She's right. We can't risk him doing who knows what. You read the TARDIS files. You know what he did to earth during that one year."

"Would still be better than letting him loose on the entire universe, wouldn't it?" I knew I didn't think in kind ways here, but if this could save so many and so much, then what did a comparably small sacrifice really matter? A man as dangerous as him would never stop trying to struggle his way out of chains. But let him have a nice little playground and maybe… No, this was not kind at all. But really, what would be the alternative?

"He's changed." The Doctor slumped together and slid down to the ground, back against the console. "I know he has. He's just scared to be a prisoner again."

"That doesn't excuse… whatever he's planning," Donna objected carefully. "I know you feel a lot for him, but… Doctor, is that really worth endangering all those innocent lives?"

"No, no of course not."

"And what… what if Lucy's right?" she muttered. "She's got the most neutral perspective on this right now. Ours is… skewed, isn't it? You always try to see the best in people, no matter what. And even I… I spent some time with'im and thought, yeah, he's still an arse, for sure, but there's potential." She sighed. "Doctor. What if there's none?"

Did I see tears glitter in the Time Lord's eyes? It might have been a trick of the light. He balled his hands to fists, gritting his teeth. "I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that. It can't be. It just can't. It…" He sobbed and his voice broke. "Donna, it can't be."

So, this is what love does to you, I thought. It makes you willingly blind, makes you look away from all the bad, makes you suffer the consequences of that very act and then spits you out, hurt and bleeding on the ground with nothing to ever soothe that pain.

I was no stranger to this.

And yet I felt bad for the Doctor. Because he had to go through this on his… no, not on his own. Donna joined him on the ground, hugging him tight. Not a single tear fell. He only looked broken. Broken, but mended by another one's presence.

I was a stranger to that.

How might this feel, I silently wondered. To be held in a moment of weakness, instead of being kicked in your guts for showing any of it.

Was I jealous?

Maybe. But the emotion didn't quite reach me. Nothing really did.

Dissociation?

I looked down at my hands and pondered about that. It often helped not to be too present inside my own body and sometimes mind. The distance made a huge difference. I could observe without having to feel anything. Like right now. I was just… numb. And that in return made me feel even more like a stranger.

I didn't belong in this play. In their world. In their shared history.

They didn't see me leave the console room and if they did, no one stopped me.

---

.

---

I'm not sure I actually remember anything else from that day, or the ones that followed. I only kept staring at the breathing circle on my chest, kept hiding away in the library, kept eating on my own and sleeping too many hours without ever feeling rested.

Sometimes there was that urge again, to go and visit another one's space. I wanted to… to just sit there and watch. Watch… something. I couldn't remember what it was.

I couldn't remember anything at all.

Without an explanation I ended up with the Doctor and Donna once more. We sat in the kitchen around a table, each of us holding a steaming cup in their hands. They talked about the Master again, of course. It appeared that he had managed to overthrow the current government, taking their place instead. The streets steamed with turmoil and unsatisfied protesters.

"It's only a question of time until this blows up horribly," said the Doctor.

"Then finally go to him."

But the Doctor shook his head. "It's too dangerous. Right now I can't predict his behaviour."

"You think he'd harm you?"

"Wouldn't put it past him. Wouldn't be the first time, either. He doesn't trust me anymore, you heard him yourself."

"What if I go? He's got no real connection to me, maybe that'll bore him enough or whatever. 'S enough when I tell my piece and leave."

"No!" The Doctor's head snapped up and he looked at Donna, horrified. "If he doesn't care, he won't hesitate. I couldn't even guarantee that you'd come back alive."

Donna sighed and nipped at her tea. "Then what? Just let'im do as he pleases? D'you have any plan?"

He answered with a defeated noise, dropping his head on the rim of the table. "Why am I so stupid," he asked the floor. "'S not even long and I warned everyone around not to get too close to him. And now look at me, being an idiot."

"It's okay, Doctor." Donna leaned over and put her hand to his shoulder. "How should you have known?"

"How?" He huffed, looking up. "Because I bloody knew! I warned Lucy so often and then ran into the same trap! Well, not quite the same, he never…".

Suddenly the Doctor stopped and looked at me as if he had just remembered that I was with them. Sure, I hadn't said much and certainly hadn't participated in the conversation, but that moment still stung a little. It reminded me too painfully of how invisible I could be to people. But now his eyes bore into mine and a hopeful smile spread all over his face.

"He won't lay a finger on you, Lucy," The Doctor announced as if it were a fact.

"What?" Donna called. "No way, you can't send her!"

"And why do you think I'm the only one here who'd be safe?" I raised a questioning eyebrow. "Sounds like rubbish to me."

"Weeell…" The Doctor rubbed his neck. "One thing's for sure. He would never harm himself. And… I know you you have no reason to trust or believe me right now, Lucy, but… in a way, he cares. And harming you would harm himself even more."

"That why he's been such a prick to me?" I grunted and shook my head.

To my surprise, the Doctor smiled, although the expression was sad. "I'm sure you've been in a situation like that yourself already. When stuff around you just… crumbles. And you lose control over everything and then you lash out. Because you don't know what else to do."

I glanced at Donna. She bit her lip and said nothing. Was he right? I remembered the hurt look on the Master's face in the library. The one I had ignored. Had wanted to ignore, because I had been hurting myself.

"No."I shook my head. "I'm not risking my life for a theory."

"It's not!" the Doctor protested. "And think about the planet. You might save them all."

"Yeah… Not interested," I grumbled. "I don't know these people. Why would I sacrifice myself for them?"

Before anyone could say more, I stood and tossed dark looks around. I was no hero, for fucks sake. All I wanted was to remember again. And would I die now, that would never happen.

They Let me leave without trying to convince me again.

---

.

---

That night I dreamed of black fires and smoke billowing into the sky, high as towers, thick as the night itself. Something screamed. And when I looked down there sat a little creature in the palms of my hands.

A dragon?

It was so small, maybe the size of a rat. His scales were black with a slight purple shimmer. The same colour as the eyes. The small wings grew out of his front legs, folding neatly behind the creature as it sat there, glaring up at me.

The smoke grew thicker, it grew shapes that moved and bent all around us, a monster, devouring everything in its wake. It had reached me silently in the few moments of distraction and now the tendrils of darkness stretched and reached for my limbs, grabbing, tearing-

I awoke with a gasp and although the images faded, their darkness stayed with me. This hadn't felt like a dream. It had felt like a living breathing thing that tried to worm itself into my insides.

Curling myself together, I tried to relax and forget that feeling of dread and fear. I didn't know what to be scared of. And what was with that small dragon from my dream? Its eyes had the same glow as the mark on my chest. Coincidence? Hadn't the Time Lord's mentioned something about a dragon at some point? Had they mentioned that it was so… tiny?

I sighed and crawled out from under my blanket, putting on some slippers and walking towards the door. Only to stop right as I reached out my hand to open it.

Again.

Instinct, for sure. Hesitantly I pressed down the handle and left. Dimly lit hexagonal corridors greeted me as the door slowly shut in my back. I heard the soft humming of machines and also felt a mental nudge that made me look… down.

There was a path of golden light, leading deeper into the TARDIS. Where would I end up after this curve? What would I find after another few steps? What did she want to show me?

Another door.

My heart leaped to my throat when I opened it. The black wood swung inwards, leading me into a room full with books and a desk with many parts and screws and other components of unexplained devices. There stood a black sofa with comfy cushions and there was also a bed, bigger than a single person would need, without actually being made for more than one. And it looked positively untouched, as if the owner seldom used it. If at all.

The Doctor's room, I decided on a stubborn whim. It had to be. Why else would I feel this sense of ease in here, of familiarity? It all looked by far too useful and not posh enough, no unnecessary luxury adorned the walls, floor or anything else. It had to be the Doctor's. Why would I ever feel safe in here if this was… the Master's room? Why would I experience such a strange nostalgic feeling all of a sudden and why would I always have this stupid urge to come here whenever sleep decided to elude me?

It made no sense. It couldn't be his room. It just couldn't. I refused to accept that.

---

.

---

"I'll go."

The Doctor and Donna both looked at me with surprise when I entered the console room with those barely audible words. They exchanged glances and then both walked over to me.

"You sure, Lucy?" asked Donna. "We're not forcing you, there'll be another-"

"Yeah, I am. I need to find out what… everything. And… I don't seem to find any answers here."

"Weeell, I'm not going to stop you, for what it's worth." The Doctor smiled and patted my shoulder. "You'll see. Everything will work out somehow."

Either that or I was about to walk into my certain death.

Chapter 20: Part V - Prisoner?

How strange it had been to stand before my wardrobe, to decide what would be an appropriate outfit for something like that. In the end I had picked dark blue jeans, a red plaid shirt and a black hoodie. I had never been one for fashion anyway and now was not the time to start with it.

Where did the Doctor's confidence come from, I wondered. Diving head first into dangerous situations, smiling. I felt no joy and no excitement when I strode through the streets towards a place that might mean my end. Or worse.

The city was moderately tempered this time of the year, but since I had been walking a while now I slightly regretted the hoodie. There was a smudge on my glasses and I wiped them clean while watching the blurry people around me. Nothing indicated that they were scared or more careful than one would think. They chatted and laughed, went shopping and drank together in cafés.

Maybe they were just used to it by now. The planet's recent history - from the snippets I had gathered - hadn't been the easiest.

To my luck, the way wasn't far and not complicated either. Otherwise I would have gotten lost in this unfamiliar place faster than one could turn around. Maybe I took a bit longer than was strictly necessary, though and when I finally reached the broken monument, I was promptly met with armed guards. They wore a black, armoured suit and held machine guns, their eyes hidden by equally dark visors.

Well, fuck. But we had expected it. I slowly raised my hands and stood still, heart pounding madly in my chest. The Doctor had been absolutely certain that they would know my face and not shoot. I myself wasn't that sure, not at all. It took everything in me to keep my eyes open and even more not to turn around and flee.

I'm not a brave person, not at all. Doing this was as much out of character for me as anything could be. And yet I felt not the same kind of terror I was used to. It wasn't the same as during the years I had been almost literally crippled by social anxiety. It wasn't the same as being scared of doing anything wrong and fearing to get beaten or humiliated for it. It also wasn't the same as being scared while doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid; and that concerned me the most, because dangerous and stupid were exactly the words to describe this very situation.

"You will follow us and you will stay calm. Any hasty movement and we will shoot. Understood?"

One of the guards aimed their gun at me while the other spoke and I nodded. There was no use in fleeing the situation now, so I did what they demanded and walked a few steps behind them, my hands hanging loosely by my sides after they had started hurting. In movies it always looks like no big deal to hold your hands up for minutes, but it's really exhausting.

What a weird detail to think about.

Why the fuck was I not running?

Could my time with the Doctor and the others have made me like that? Could it have an effect on me still, even without remembering any of it?

We didn't walk far, only around the now crumbled and charred monument. It looked strangely innocent now, without the flames and the thick smoke hanging over its debris. Behind it rose another building in the air, the mansion the Doctor had mentioned. It stood proud, yet not too tall, more an afterthought compared to its surroundings. Or what was left of them. The flames had charred even this place; black trees now sat where green must have once dominated the garden.

I followed the guards inside without either of us ever losing a single word. What for anyway? They knew their orders and I knew my goal. And now that we had reached what looked like a spacious office they sharply saluted and then left.

The Master sat on the end of the table, one leg on the ground, the other propped up on a chair. A posture of casualness, but his look was piercing right through me. He wore black clothes and a leather jacket, almost casual and somehow it still managed to give him some sense of authority.

"You," he muttered.

I nodded and looked away, at the ground, at my shoes, at the walls and the chairs. It scared me too much to look directly into his eyes. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what I would find there.

"Cowards," The Master spat. "Pathetic that they send you who isn't even involved."

Now he sprang from the table and walked closer, making it hard not to look at him directly. I peeked up and noticed surprised that I didn't find the disgust on his face that I had expected. He looked angry, but the emotion didn't seem to be directed at me. Not really.

"Th… they… I…" I stammered, for the moment unable to get my thoughts in any order. "You would kill them. If… they came here, I mean."

"Does he think that now?" The Master huffed. "And his pet just babbles whatever he says." He towered over me, his look dark. "And you? If they think I murder anything in reach then why send you? A sacrifice?" He barked out a laugh and shook his head.

"Because… cause I don't know…" My heart was racing way too fast. "The Doctor thinks… he said you wouldn't harm me. A-and I don't know why he thinks that, but…" I swallowed when I met the Master's burning gaze. "I'd appreciate it if you don't kill the messenger."

"No?" He walked even closer, making me back away and against the now closed door behind me. "Tell me one reason, little light," he growled, "to let you get out of here alive."

I opened my mouth to shoot out a response, only to snap it shut again. My mind blanked. Because… there was no reason, really. It wouldn't make a difference. He followed with a slow step, raising his hands to my throat with a cold, dark look, almost hungry. Fingers closed around my skin, thumbs laying on the exact spot he would need to indent.

And time stood still.

The same moment his fingers closed around my throat, my breath slowed down to barely more than a halt, my heartbeat calmed, my thoughts stilled. I looked into the Master's eyes, as if there would lie an answer.

"What?" He narrowed his brows, noticing my confusion. He overplayed it with a grin, leaning down. "Scared?"

But that was the point. I blinked, waited. Nothing. "I should be, shouldn't I?" I muttered, each word making his fingers on my air tube more palpable.

Something in his gaze shifted, changed. A tingling scraped along the edges of my awareness, spreading from the point of our skin touching. Tendrils of consciousness, searching, prodding.

"That would be wise, yes." His voice verged on a growl.

An unspoken question lingered in the back of my mind. What was it that had changed so much of me?

 "Then why am I not?"

The tingling vanished and with it the Master's hands. He stroked over his face, quietly laughing to himself. A laugh that slowly increased in volume until he threw his head back to let it out with full force.

Madness.

What else could it be? The Master was utterly insane.

And maybe so was I.

"You are hilarious," he proclaimed, lowering his hand just enough to peek at me, the laugh still vibrating in his chest. "Pathetic and hilarious."

Okay, that stung. I didn't want him to despise me like that. But before I could object or do anything at all he already calmed down and regarded me with a half smile and a half scowl.

"Well, since absolutely nothing is happening like I imagined for days now… Why not. Why not indulge this fucked up fate?"

"So… no harming me then?"

His smile grew and became weirdly soft, yet still amused. "Did I? Harm you, that is?"

I thought for a moment and then shook my head. He hadn't squeezed my throat, not even lightly. His hands had just… laid there. "No, just spooked me a lill'."

"Mhm. Don't try my patience, though. No fleeing, no damaging anything, no calling for help. Understood?"

"Uhh… why would-"

"I don't care what the Doctor and his redhead want you to tell me. And I'm not going to let you go back to them. You're my prisoner now." He stabbed a finger at my chest.

In hindsight, I should have expected it.

"Oh. Okay."

The Master scrunched up his nose and huffed. "You'll stay in here. The office is big enough and I can keep an eye on you. Or let my cameras watch you. That door over there has a bathroom. Don't dare and smell around me. Humans are disgusting enough already."

I pursued my lips in protest, but said nothing.

"You can sleep on the sofa. I'll get you a blanket."

"No pillow?"

"You never use those anyway." How the heck could he know that? The Master rolled his eyes. "Fine, I guess those come in pairs anyway."

"And uhm…"

"What?"

I shrunk under his gaze, but the turned situation gave me an unfamiliar boldness. "What about food? I guess you won't cook."

"I've got better things to do, indeed. I'll get you something. And since you're the only person I know who manages to get bored while being a prisoner-" he pointed at a shelf with books and at a part of the long table that had electronic components lying around– "there is plenty to occupy yourself with. So don't dare and annoy me."

Damn, he really knew me too well.

"Maybe I can find something to make you more useful, but for now, shut up and be invisible."

I wanted to retort something mean, I really did. But his warning was threatening enough, despite the strange and sudden lack of fear in me.

---

.

---

For the next couple of days nothing much happened. The Master mostly wasn't even in the office room, probably letting his cameras do the babysitting, as he had called it once. A guard brought me food three times a day and there were all necessary toilet articles in the small bathroom. Even new clothes. And, spiking a new wave of wonder, those were all things I actually liked.

It wasn't only the clothes, however. The food was foreign, consisting of ingredients that mostly weren't found on earth, yet the meals tasted surprisingly familiar to me. Two days in, a few men brought a screen and more books and movies. Stuff that definitely was made by humans or at least species that created things I understood or found interesting.

I had enough time to think. No matter how much the Master despised me and my species he knew surprisingly much about the things I enjoyed. Of course he had to know something after a year in the TARDIS close to each other. But spending time in proximity to another person did not necessarily mean that you learned much about the details of their way of being.

Thinking didn't help. I couldn't get any answers like that and my memories also didn't bother to return. The few times the Master actually came here he avoided speaking to me and evaded any question with dark looks and snarls. One time he even shot up from his chair and almost was at my throat again, just to stop a few centimetres away from me, his hands sinking, defeated by something I had no knowledge of.

"You should be scared," was all he said then, before leaving the room to never return.

But how could I? Now that I was aware of it missing, I couldn't simply return. This state… some years ago I would have given a lot to be that fearless. Now, however, I shivered when I thought about the implications.

Chapter 21: Part V (II)

The books and movies didn't help and I didn't know enough about electronics to do something useful with the tech in the room. As another evening drew nearer I found myself on the windowsill again. It stretched wide enough to offer room to sit and with a pillow under me I even felt comfy there. It didn't help with the boredom, but what did was the pouring rain that started in the evening. Thunder rolled through the air, sometimes distant, sometimes way too close. A forked lightning bolt twitched through the streaks of falling rain, illuminating the office for several seconds.

I was alone right now and had dimmed the lights so I could appreciate the spectacle better. Thunderstorms always calmed me down and I never got tired of watching them; witnessing the raw force of nature from a safe space soothed me in a way not many things can. Time moved slowly and I drifted with it, sliding deeper into a half slumber until I felt a presence behind me.

"You're still here."

I hummed sleepily. "Where else would I be?"

"The rain is so strong it would overshadow the sound of your steps and the cameras would have a really hard time seeing you. Maybe the guards would, but I doubt it. They are dumb as bricks."

The Master stood close enough so I could feel his body heat and catch the scent of his aftershave reaching towards me. It reminded me of how his room in the TARDIS had felt, so strangely familiar that all I wanted to do for a moment was to lean my head against him. But the urge vanished quick enough to keep me from doing it.

"Right… 'n then some sniper would have shot me." I yawned. "'Sides, I like watching and I don't like to get so wet."

The Master chuckled and moved closer. My head brushed the cloth of his shirt and my longing for warmth and comfort returned with a force that almost hurt.

"Mhm, this planet truly has marvellous thunderstorms." To watch out of the same window he now loomed there, definitely touching now, his arm resting on my shoulder. But only for a few seconds before the Master removed it as quickly as if I had called him out on it. He didn't go away though, just stood there next to me in silence.

A little shy I peeked up and saw he stared at the rain and the lightning with a calm expression, almost serene.

"You like it too, huh?" I commented.

The Master didn't budge, but his lip twitched upwards a little. "It's soothing. And the drums get muffled."

Drums. A memory stirred in my mind, refusing to fully resurface and when I tried to focus on it the headaches returned with full force. I let out a pained groan and held my head, breathing slow to make it vanish again. Hands reached for me, gently taking my face between their palms. I blinked away tears and found a worried expression on the Master's face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, searching my face for an answer.

"It always hurts when I try to remember." The pain faded and I drew back, releasing myself from his surprisingly gentle hold. "I know about your drums, but that's all. I can't get any more."

"Then stop trying if it hurts you!"

"But I want to," I muttered.

The Master sighed. Relieved? Annoyed? "No, seriously. That whole memories bullshit? It makes no sense. It shouldn't hurt. They shouldn't be gone in the first place!" He growled.

"Thats why'm trying so hard," I whispered, a little spooked by his outburst. However, I immediately flinched in pain when I tried again.

"What part about stop didn't you understand, idiot?!"

"But…"

"Shush!" The Master put a finger on his mouth, scowling. "I'll tell you again, alright. Stop hurting yourself!"

I flinched again, but this time because of his commanding and angry tone. The Master glared at me until he was certain I would obey and only then moved. He tapped against his head and sat opposite to me on the windowsill. Then he told me the story of his initiation, of the sound that had entered his mind, only to never leave him after that. Of the years of torment they had caused him. The Doctor had never listened, had always claimed they weren't even a real thing.

Everything changed, but the drums always stayed.

Centuries.

"It was you," he added quietly after a long pause and an especially loud thunder. "You heard them first. It was an accident, but you did. It was the first time I got confirmation that they are a real thing and not just…" He made a vague hand gesture and smiled. "Madness."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. It probably wasn't a lie. The Master sounded way too serious for that; and way too pained. "Can you muffle them at least?"

He gave me the strangest look and it was clear he wanted to say something, tell me another detail of the past that had slipped from me. But he closed his mouth and shrugged instead. Then, as sudden as the lightning outside, a grin sat on his lips. "Chaos," he said. "That makes them better."

I chuckled at his remark and the teasing expression. It felt so weirdly casual to sit like that, without his usual malice and without the rage in his eyes and I wished this moment could last longer.

"You're bored, aren't you?" he eventually asked, head leaned back against the window, looking up at the darkness.

"Yeah. I'd rather be out there exploring the city."

"I thought you wanted to run back to the Doctor."

"Mhm. I don't know. There is… no progress." I laid my chin on my bent knees, thinking for a while. "Didn't want to come here at first, not in the mood to be a sacrifice for some random planet."

The Master's eyes wandered sideways to cast a sceptical glance at me. Why did I feel this urge to tell him all of this anyway?

"But 's not helping to be in the TARDIS. She's got no answers for me."

"What, so you volunteered to wander into my fangs?" He laughed out loud, even louder than the thunder. "What if I had really killed you?"

I shrugged. "The thought… doesn't scare me as much as it should. And somehow-" I squinted at him- "I have a suspicion this is your fault."

The Master chuckled and sprang up from the windowsill. "Certainly not, stupid, little human." He leaned down and poked my head. "If anything, I would try to make you even more scared."

I swatted his hand away, regarding him with a deep frown. "Then what happened?"

"Isn't that obvious? You died. You chose to die. I'm the exact opposite, so I can't say for sure, but it seems like that does something to you." Again he poked my head. "And by the way, you not being scared of me makes you horribly annoying and is actually reason enough to throw you out of that window." The one behind me, the one he pointed at.

He wouldn't do it. I knew.

"But whatever." Suddenly his threatening demeanour completely changed and instead he clapped in his hands and regarded me with an excited grin. "You want to run away from here?"

Wow, what a mood shift.

I shook my head. "What, to get shot in the back? Doesn't matter what happened to me, I can go without."

"And if you don't get shot?"

What was he on to? Was it a trap? Carefully I regarded my next words and finally shrugged. "Told you already. I'd go and explore the city."

"And afterwards?"

"Uh… I don't know. Place's big. I guess I'd be busy for a while."

"What about food? Sleep? Don't tell me you want to beg and live on the streets."

I sighed and shook my head. Why was he asking such strange questions anyway? "What's this about, Master?"

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.

"Just want to tease you with all the things you can't have."

Of course. I rolled my eyes. "That's childish." Not that he would care.

Another thunder rumbled through the room and the sound of rain increased in volume. The Master chuckled. Something mischievous twinkled in his eyes. "Get some sleep. I'm pretty sure I'll have some nice torture methods ready for tomorrow."

Again, I couldn't resist the eyeroll. "That makes me sleep quite a lot better."

"Thought so." The Master winked and left the room.

I stayed with the storm, wondering what the heck this had been all about. Then the rest of the conversation wandered through my mind and I realised that this had just been the most pleasant conversation I had had with this man. A fact that was equally unnerving and calming, because it reminded me of all the nights I had to keep myself from wandering through the TARDIS.

---

.

---

"Wakey, wakey!!!"

The voice tore through my not so peaceful slumber, robbing the last few moments from this other world that might or might not have had similarities to the real one. All images faded before I could get a hold of them. And besides, that voice rang some pretty serious alarm bells in my head, so I - grudgingly - opened my eyes and peeked out from under the blankets.

A very blurry Master stood there, waiting with a wide grin. I didn't need my glasses to see and feel the mirth he radiated and was tempted to completely ignore his very presence.

"Piss off," I grumbled and drew the blanket back over my head. "'m not awake."

"A sleep-talker, tze, tze. How could I have missed that?" A dip on the sofa told me the Master had sat down next to my feet. "So, how's the dreaming going?"

"Splendid." My voice sounded muffled by the blanket but he probably understood me anyway. "Just dreamed you'll vanish in a second to let me sleep."

"Ah, I see." For a few seconds there was silence and I already hoped he would leave me alone, but then the blanket lifted, despite my struggling, allowing light to offend my eyes. "Your prophetic dreams are rubbish, little one. Come on, get up."

"I don't want to!" I whined.

"You've slept for at least four hours, that has to be sufficient. Chop, chop! Rise and shine. You get half an hour to be ready." He bent down a little, making sure I would see the menacing grin, bad eyesight or not. "Else I will make you."

"Fuck you," I grumbled into the sofa, but then heaved me at least into a sitting position. Groggily, I fumbled for my glasses and slipped them on. "What for anyway?"

"You wanted to explore the city, didn't you? Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

It took me a moment to react. My eyes still refused to stay open properly. Damn, I needed some coffee. And this planet didn't have any.

"You're throwing me out?" I finally asked.

The Master grinned. Or maybe the grin had never vanished. "Basically. Half an hour."

And with that he was gone, only to keep his promise (threat) to return exactly thirty earthen minutes later. The time hadn't helped my state much. I had had a quick shower and splashed cold water on my face, but the few hours in bed hadn't been nearly enough.

When the Master strolled back in, I was ready, not really willing to think about where I would actually go.

To my surprise I got aware of a familiar smell and my mood brightened tremendously when he held out a paper cup of steaming coffee. My hands closed reverently around the cup and I breathed in, just to be sure, and let out a happy hum.

"I could bloody kiss you."

"Don't make promises." The Master winked and motioned me to follow along.

I stuck out my tongue towards his back, but followed. The overall mood of the situation surprised me. Was this a trap? Was he nice now, just to kill me later? But then why the complicated setup?

Whatever the case, I smiled up at the sun when we left the building. I had only spent a few days inside and still it was great to finally feel the warmth on my skin again.

"So… what direction?" The Master's voice made me acutely aware that he still hadn't vanished.

"I don't know." I took a careful sip from my hot beverage. "Just… somewhere."

He looked at me as if I had said something incredibly stupid. "Well, then go ahead. I'm not good at running around without a plan or goal."

Only then did it click.

"Wait… You're coming with me?"

Chapter 22: Part V (III)

Notes:

Plot? What plot? No one needs plot.
For my own dwindling mental health I need some fluff before I throw myself off a bridge or something. >__>
And maybe someone likes it too... if not, there are enough other stories with actual plot. ;P

"Wait… You're coming with me?"

"That was the thought, yes."

I glared at him with an open mouth. "Hell, no! Leave me alone."

"Wha-haaat?!" The Master laughed. "You have no money! And the worst sense of direction I have had the displeasure to witness!" He poked my forehead, giggling. "And I want to see where you'd end up, what places you'd be drawn to."

I swatted his hand away. "Why?"

"The people here don't… uhh… like me. I want to learn more about what makes them tick."

"I'd have an idea or ten why they hate you."

"I bet you do. But now go. Shush! Move!"

"And you'll follow me around or what?" I didn't move one step and instead glared up at his stupid grin. "That's the opposite of exploring. That's like having a babysitter in my back who comments on everything and mocks me for every wrong turn or whatever."

The Master tilted his head. "And if I keep quiet? I won't say a word, I won't judge any of your decisions, won't mock you for getting lost." He stepped closer and bent down a little, his look suddenly serious. "I'll be your shadow. You'll be my eyes."

Something about the way he said this made me shiver. Not in fear or discomfort. There was just an… honesty in those words I hadn't expected. And for a second, just for one, I fought the urge to take his hand before I turned to walk away.

The guards watched us as we passed and saluted, but after that no one paid us any attention as we meandered through the streets. The Master kept his word and not only kept entirely quiet, but also stayed behind me so that I didn't even see him most of the time. Even when I sat down on a bench to watch some birds or when I spent almost half an hour wandering through a park with orange and purple trees.

I forgot about him here and there and only got a reminder when he grabbed my arm out of the blue to drag me under a roof, seconds before a curtain of rain swooshed down from the sky.

"Huh? That was sudden," I remarked. "Thanks."

"Rainstorms here often come from one moment to the next."

And with that he was quiet again.

For the entire morning that hadn't bothered me at all, quite the opposite. But now in the white noise of the rain and the tight space we shared to stay dry, his silence started to weigh more and more with every passing second.

"I guess it'll pass soon," I ruminated. "Rain like that never stays for long."

"Here, it does. Sometimes." The Master leaned against the wall, thumbs in his pants pockets and head leaned back. "The storm yesterday, it was just one of many." And as if to underline his words, the first lightning forked over the sky.

"Great." I sighed. "Should have taken an umbrella with me."

Not that that would have helped much. The rain was so strong I couldn't make out the world in front of me anymore. Everything was hidden behind a grey veil of water.

The Master had been right, unfortunately. The weather didn't want to change anytime soon. If anything, it only got worse, the sky darkened and the temperatures dropped. A light wind also blew the rain under our shelter, soaking my shoes and pants. It didn't take long and I shivered lightly, cursing myself for not having taken a jacket with me. I had assumed the temperatures would be the same as they had been during my first day, when I had cursed myself for wearing a hoodie because it had been so warm. Now I was happy about having at least that on me.

Luckily, the rain didn't manage to get completely under the roof. I damned it anyway and rubbed my arms to get a little warmer. It didn't help much, so I resorted to wearing a grumpy look and hoping this would stop soon.

"Come here," said the Master all of a sudden. He looked me up and down, brows knitted together tightly. "You'll be terribly dull and annoying if you get sick."

And before I could even think about a response, he already pulled me into… a hug? I struggled against his grip, too surprised to comprehend the situation. But the confusion only lasted some seconds, before I realised what he was doing. His leather jacket was neither big, nor warm enough to be of help, so instead he had simply pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms loosely around my back.

Still in shock, I stood there, hands raised between us and now, slowly calming down when I accepted that he didn't want to hurt me or do anything weird. Quite the opposite. And that was even more confusing.

"Uhm…" I started, but didn't know what to even say. He was just watching the rain, as if nothing at all had happened.

Now he looked down at me and it took some visible seconds before his face changed into an expression I couldn't read. But then, "Ohhhh. Well, it's effective." He raised a brow and grinned. "No funny business, you have my word."

"I wasn't going to… I didn't think you would." Strange. Somehow I just knew that he didn't plan to do… anything. Maybe something like this was just no big deal for his kind?

It didn't help, however. I wasn't used to being just held. And now I could smell his aftershave, could feel his body heat, the double heartbeat close to my fingertips where they still lay between us. After a short hesitation I moved my hand upwards, placing it right in the middle of his chest. The Master ceased his rain-watching and glanced down again.

Du-du… du-du…

"Two hearts," I muttered and wasn't sure he could hear it over the noise.

"Told you so." The Master smirked, but the teasing tone couldn't quite hide how… happy it made him feel. It was so easy to pick up at that moment.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have been so defensive there."

He kept eye contact for a long while, studying my face. A smile sat in the corners of his lips, never growing, never vanishing. "I forgive you," he announced, poking his tongue out teasingly. "Just this once."

It shouldn't make me smile. It shouldn't. I didn't need him to forgive anything. My heart also wasn't supposed to beat so fast all of a sudden. It was hard enough to keep so calm while being pressed against him, while feeling his hearts and partially also his emotions that were by far too positive. Didn't he hate me? I was his prisoner, for god's sake!

The Master still looked at me, his gaze intense and so strangely fond. I couldn't endure it and lowered my head, placing it against the hand that lay over his hearts. Warmth seeped into me, filling my bones and every gap within my soul with a comfort that shouldn't even exist. The arms around me tightened almost unnoticeably.

"Shouldn't you be colder than I?" I mused, to a part so I would stop thinking about… this. I looked up again, meeting his questioning look. "I read… I think I read that. You know, when I did research."

"Obviously, we are not." The Master chuckled quietly to himself and looked back at the rain. "Our internal temperature is lower, but not the surface, what we give off."

Right, obviously.

"I know I'm handsome, but staring is rude. Has no one told you?"

I winced and struggled instinctively, but stopped when I heard and felt the Master laugh. And, to make it worse, he also dipped his head down and put a finger under my chin, leaving even less space between us than we already had.

"Do I fascinate you?"

My mind blanked, although I had the feeling that this wasn't the first time he had asked that exact question. And it made me wonder if, the last time, my heart had also leaped right to my throat to beat there like a frightened little bird. Except that it wasn't fear that made it race. It wouldn't need much, just a tiny stretch upwards, just a little to… did he move? Did I?

"Also," he muttered, so incredibly close. Closer than I would normally allow anyone to get. "It's not raining anymore." The Master suddenly pushed me away. "So stop being annoying."

Perplexed, I stumbled backwards, keeping myself from falling down. Too many thoughts raced through my head in a single second. Confusion sat at the front, then, as slow as a moment could be, it turned into anger.

"Whoa, hey! You started this! I never asked you to warm me up or anything!"

"No." He scrunched up his nose and regarded me like someone would a disgusting bug. "But as I said, humans are unbearable when they get sick. I'd normally just let you die then, but who else would be my eyes and ears in the city?"

Right. I immediately regretted the apology from before. How could he switch from one mood to the other so quickly? Had that been just an act?

Probably.

But what for?

With some trouble I swallowed down my anger, not wanting to feed him any more excuses for being an arsehole to me. I wasn't even surprised, not really. This… this is how people are, after all. They only ever treat you well when they gain something from it. They try to play you like an instrument and often succeed. And afterwards you're worth no more than the dirt on their soles.

Nothing unusual. Get over it! I scolded myself.

"Where to now?" the Master asked. "This is fun! I didn't think there were so many boring places in a single city. I can't stop thinking about what to blow up first."

"How about nothing?" I grumbled. "'sides, that wouldn't help at all to be liked more."

"You would know. You don't even have friends."

Okay, that really stung. Mostly because it was right. I almost wanted to protest and tell him that I absolutely had some, but the truth was… none of them had ever bothered to ask about me, to write, to call. It had been over two years, according to my phone, that I had had any contact with anyone. At least not in the form of texts or chats. And those were my main methods of communicating.

At least before I had stumbled into a time machine. Who knew what and how I might have changed since then.

The Master grinned at me and for a strange moment I was sure he had read my thoughts. Because there was someone who knew.

He did.

Of all people and for reasons I didn't understand yet.

"You don't care if I blow up anything here," he taunted, "admit it. Also, we could find something with less people."

"Or no people?"

"An ancient monument!"

"Absolutely not!" I called out. "You can't just destroy history! Do you even know how old some of that stuff is? And why are you grinning like mad?"

Indeed, the Master wore a grin as wide and as happy as I had seldom seen it on a grown man. It was stupidly contagious and I did my very best to stay serious.

"You're saying you prefer blowing up people over old architecture?"

"Wha-? I did not!" Well, sort of, to be honest. And the Master knew. It was written all over his face. Stupid, stupid face! I had to laugh, I couldn't stop it. "Prick!" I accused and slapped his arm playfully.

"Always a pleasure, little one." He did a short, mocking bow and evaded another slap. "How about I show you around for a bit? Meaning, I'm awfully hungry and you have no money anyway." With twinkling eyes he stretched out a hand. "Do you accept?"

My stomach grumbled, as if to warn me to not even think about refusing the offer. I hadn't planned to anyway. Of course, he would push me away again at the next opportunity, like he had just done, but right now I didn't care that much. There was no one else, literally. It didn't matter that he took care of me because of ulterior motives. It was more than anyone else had ever done.

And yes, albeit I would never ever admit it aloud, he did fascinate me.

Stupid, stupid knowing grin and stupid stretched out hand. The bastard knew I knew I would take it, long before I did and all that remained for me to hope for was that he wouldn't feel how fast my heart beat as we strode through the crowd.

Chapter 23: Part V (IV)

I thought the outstretched hand had only been a gesture for the dramatics, but when the Master didn't let go I had to accept that this would continue. His skin nestled warm against my own and sometimes, when we stood still, I could faintly feel his double pulse. The rhythm drew me in whenever I got aware of it, like a long forgotten melody.

I wondered if holding hands had a different meaning to Time Lords. The Master didn't seem like one for endearment and yet he had kept me warm and now… well. I wouldn't complain, however; my life never contained much of any kind of affection, unless I "paid" for them with things I did not always want to give.

The Master closed his hand firmer around mine, as if in response to the train of thoughts in my head.

"Uh, say…" I waited until the Master turned his head, signalling that he listened. "Can it be… Can you read my thoughts?"

He smirked in an all too knowing way, but responded before I could call him out on it. "Not right now. And believe me, you'd feel it…" He stopped and looked at me, touching my temple with his free hand. A strange bristling sensation ran through my skin at that, tingling… somewhere. "...if I were in your mind."

The tingling vanished and I glared at him with an open mouth. "So you can! How? Did you just…?"

"No. I won't enter your mind without consent." The Master hesitated for a moment and tilted his head this way and that. "Not anymore, at least. And what I can read or sense are the things you project out so loud that it's hard to miss them. We are touch-telepaths, some stuff simply gets through."

I looked at our joined hands. "So that's the reason, huh?"

But the Master barked out a laugh. "Not really, no. There is just quite the crowd and I don't want you to get lost. It would be really annoying if I had to waste my time having to search for you."

As much of a prick as ever. I frowned and sighed, following him into a building.

There really was a big crowd of people around us, but nothing you wouldn't expect in a city this size. And I was good with navigating crowds. In my youth I visited London almost daily, to wander the streets, admire the buildings, stroll through stores without ever having the money to buy anything. I was a ghost among all the people, unseen, unnoticed.

The people here ignored me too, paid me no attention at all. But this time I wasn't alone. I focused on the sensation of the Master's hand holding mine, the warmth, the comfort, the safety it gave me. And then it was gone and he shoved me towards a bench and a table near a window.

We were in a restaurant, I realised. Nothing fancy or expensive and it was filled to the brim with people coming and going, eating and chatting. Only here, by the window, was it a little quieter. A fact I appreciated a lot.

The clock showed an hour somewhere late in the afternoon, as far as I could tell with the slightly different length of day. Most people probably just came from work, searching for a meal and some distraction before the day would end. Many eyes were glued to a screen on a wall, showing the news.

The Doctor had been right. This place actually did feel a lot like earth. It had so many similarities that it felt uncanny to me. Like home and yet entirely not.

And then I saw the Master's face on the screen. He wore the most charming smile, beard and hair as neat as one could get them and clad in a suit that also almost looked like one from earth, only that the cut was a bit different. There was no audio, however, so I couldn't make out what he said. And I also couldn't read the letters.

"How come no one here recognizes you?" I asked the Master, who studied the menu.

He glanced up, smirking. "Och, only a weak little perception filter. It makes them see me as just some ordinary everyday-face. I'd recommend the fish, it tastes the same as on earth and you'll like the sauce."

"Why doesn't it work on me then? And yeah, sounds good. I like fish."

"I know." The Master continued to read and nodded to himself before closing the menu. "You know me," he said. "The filter loses its function when someone is… hmm… when there is a sort of… mhm… no, forget it. It's too complex for your tiny brain."

"But I want to know."

I pouted when I got no answer and the insult also got on my nerves. A waiter came over to take our order, in a language I couldn't understand.

The fact made me think. I knew the TARDIS enabled me to read and understand foreign languages and her radius was quite big. This could mean only one of two things. We either were too far away or the Doctor had left.

A shiver went down my spine at the thought. It had been me, after all, who had suggested it; leaving the Master here to do whatever he wanted, but ultimately being stuck. And since I hadn't returned for days they must think I was dead, or worse. But it still stung that they hadn't even tried to get me back, that they had just vanished without checking, leaving me behind as their sacrifice.

"...you even listening?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the Master, blinking away my short confusion. "I… sorry, I wasn't."

"I noticed."

Our food arrived, smelling heavenly after the rain and the cold and all the walking. I cast a curious glance over to see what the Master had ordered, but had no clue what anything on his plate was. Probably some kind of bird with vegetables. Nothing looked familiar, though. The smell made my stomach growl, reminding me that I hadn't eaten anything since the last evening, so I dug into my fish and forgot the Doctor and any maybe-implications of the lacking translations.

"This's really good," I praised, swallowing down a bite.

"I thought you would like it."

"Mhm, good pick. What's that on your plate? Looks weird."

The Master pondered over the question for a few moments and then shrugged. "The closest comparison would be a huge rat, I think. They don't live in sewers, however. Want to try some?" He nudged his plate in my direction.

"Rat, huh?" I eyed the meat with raised eyebrows. "Ah, fuck it. I'm curious." And so I stabbed a piece with my fork and slowly chewed on it. "Hm… can't quite place the taste. It's almost a little… sweet? Interesting."

Meanwhile the Master stole a potato-like thing from me and hummed appreciatively. Like that we continued the meal and enjoyed some wine, talking mostly about the different food sources of this planet. The Master knew surprisingly much and willingly shared the knowledge.

"How about you get that dwindling agriculture back on track?" I suggested. "That might help with making you more likeable. And give them a better health insurance system. In the park I heard a bunch of people talk about how shitty it is and they went through a pandemic recently. Might help put their minds at ease."

The Master cocked his head to the side, contemplating for a minute. I wasn't sure he would actually consider any of my words because they didn't really fit into any sort of evil scheming. It was worth a try anyway and maybe it also was the wine that loosened my tongue a little. In the past I always had trouble with the stuff and always got a headache from it, even from small amounts. Which made me hope that the ones from this planet wouldn't have the same effect.

"Yeah, that might be possible. I looked through the health system files a few days back. It's a total mess, if you ask me. And easy to fix. Let's start with that."

Surprised, I blinked at him. "Okay. Would have expected more resistance."

"Why?" A smirk appeared on his lips. "Too good? I want their compliance and this might be the best way. Contrast," he explained. "Their last leader was not far from being a tyrant. That's why they blew him up in the first place."

"Hm," I said. This didn't sound too bad and… "Wait a sec. They blew him up? But that was you!"

"Shhh! Don't be so loud." The Master held a finger in front of his lips. "And no. For once it wasn't me. But since all of you assumed it anyway, I went along and took over the place." The smirk took on a cruel note, but I sensed that it was more a… facade.

"The Doctor didn't even consider another option." I played with the rim of my glass, looking away. Because… so had I.

"No. Who could blame him?" He leaned back with his Glas and let his eyes wander over the room. "It's what I would do. It's who I am." Now the smirk was no longer cruel. Maybe it never had been. Bitterness, I realised.

"You changed." It was a daring comment, but it wouldn't leave my mind.

The Master hummed at the ceiling. "Maybe."

The admission came quiet, almost drowning in the noise around us. I didn't dare to speak up again in fear of saying something entirely too stupid.

"I'm still the same anyhow, little one." The Master now looked straight at me, his gaze boring into mine, not allowing me to look away. "I just found something more fun to do for a while."

"You're lying," I deadpanned.

The Master just laughed. "I hate it when you do this. You always know if I tell the truth or not."

"Mhm, it's a skill." I grinned. To this day I don't really know why I can always tell. For how bad I am at reading people I still always sort of sense when they lie. And, hearing him confirm that it also worked on him, gave me a little comfort.

"Shut up. I only change when I want to. And what I want."

"Yeah, right."

The Master regarded me with a burning look, but there was no real anger behind it.

I couldn't help but giggle. "Are you always like this? When no one's 'round to impress." I poked my tongue out and winked.

"Like what? I'm always me," he spat.

"Like… considerate and full of stories and weird facts." I emptied the rest of the wine and blamed my directness at it. "You're fun to be around when you don't try an' be an arse, you know?"

Maybe that had been too much, but right now I really didn't care.

The Master snorted. And then suddenly burst out laughing so loud that people started to turn around. They all didn't seem to mind, luckily, too busy with their own lives and events.

"Hilarious little thing you are." He calmed down a little and wiped a tear from his eye, suppressing another laugh from bubbling up. "Every time. I can't get you to hate me. I just can't. You're fucked up. A total mess." He pressed his lips together, clearly still holding back.

"Thanks?" I raised my brows. It was hard not to join his mood, even though I had no clue if his words were meant as an insult or a compliment.

"I'll make a suggestion. Tell me what you think. Because I, for one, want to continue our little exploration. The days here are longer than you're used to. I think you noticed already." I nodded. "How about we stay here, you sleep for however long you need and yes, I know I woke you up way too early this morning. But look at you. Trodding on!"

"And there I thought you're just ignorant." I rolled my eyes. "What's that suggestion? It's not as if I have any plan in mind anyway."

"That was it. You sleep for a while, I scheme something evil to balance out my previous not-involvement and after that we make something explode!"

"Minus explosions maybe?"

"You're no fun. Fine."

"Okay. Why not? I'm actually tired as hell. Thanks by the way."

The Master poked his tongue out and waved a waitress over, telling him in a commanding tone that we would get a room for free and the meal on the house. The poor guy stared blankly, blinked a few times and then nodded.

"We have one room left, actually," he agreed. "I'll get you the key, Sir."

"Splendid." The Master rubbed his hands. "I might take a nap too. A bit of quiet from the drums…" He rose from the table and nodded to the counter. "Coming?"

Chapter 24: Part V (V)

Notes:

You know me by now. I can't resist tropes.
And I guess this can still count as plot... somewhat. Fluff is more important 🤪

"There's only one bed," I pointed out the obvious, namely the very single bed that stood in the middle of the small room.

There wasn't much else in there. A window, a small table, two chairs and a TV mounted to the wall.

"Right…." The Master shrugged. "I didn't ask about that… It's big enough though."

"That's one big hell of a fan fiction cliche."

"A what now?"

I laughed and turned away. "Probably better if you don't know. I'm out. This won't happen."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't make a fuss now. You never cared."

That made me stop each and every thought and action in an instant. "What?" It had sounded very much like a taunt, but also like a fact. "Have we shared beds before? Is that a thing we do?"

The Master paused too, gnawing his bottom lip until he stretched it to a menacing grin. "Who knows. Maybe we did, maybe I'm lying." Suddenly he was right in front of my face. "You would have to believe whatever I tell you. Do you really want that?"

"N… no." I gulped and my heart picked up speed the longer we were in such close proximity. Behind me was only the closed door and no way to escape. Thoughtlessly as I could get I had manoeuvred myself into the worst situation.

The Master stretched out a hand and I shot backwards, my back hitting the door with a thud. Maybe I could slip away if I let myself fall? But how to get outside? His hand landed on my cheek, warm, strong, a threat and able to do whatever and… and simply stayed there.

"Calm down, lil' Lumin. I don't want to hurt you. And I'm not going to touch you, you hear me?" He looked at me with such open honesty, no lie detectable in his words or demeanour. A small and warm smile. A little, cheeky wink. "Unless you want to of course."

The Master retreated and I could breathe again. How strange. "That's where you draw the line?" I murmured.

"Oh please!" He sighed dramatically. "I'm going to tell you a thousand times if I have to. I'm not an animal and I am not human. I'm better than to be a slave of some primal urges like you are. If I hurt someone then because I want to. And I don't need to be disgusting to do that." He wrinkled his nose. "You know what. I don't really need sleep anyway. Have the room for yourself. I'll get you in around eight hours or so. That should be enough, right? "

Right.

I huffed.

"What? Don't tell me you need even more. That's getting ridiculous!"

"No… 'bout what you said before that. It's just ironic." I walked the two steps to the bed and sat down, talking to my hands. "That makes you better than all of the guys I met before."

"That's because I am."

Smug bastard. But I couldn't help the smile.

In hindsight, being in here wasn't more dangerous than the days I had been imprisoned in the mansion. Had he really wanted to… well… he could have done that a thousand times already. It was that fact that didn't make me flinch when he followed and crouched down in front of me, looking up with a curious half smirk.

"I haven't hurt you, have I?" he asked and there was this strange honesty again. An openness I simply didn't expect from… anyone, actually. "Aside from your ego maybe."

There. Moment ruined.

I laughed and shook my head. "No. No you haven't. I just don't…" Why was he even down there? It was such a vulnerable position. "I don't get why. You threaten me all day long, but then you make sure I'm okay and everything."

"Oh, don't think about it too hard." This boyish grin would be the death of me one day, I decided. "It's just fun messing with you."

"But there is more," I murmured, trying to catch the fleeting memory and flinching slightly when I couldn't get the thought to manifest. The only result was a short headache. Pouting I rubbed my temple. "It's hidden and that makes me crazy. I want it back, whatever it was."

"Don't try if it hurts." The Master took my hands away from my head. "I know what I'm talking about. When I tried to push the drums away… all the centuries ago. It's not going to work."

I didn't care. Should it hurt all it wanted, as long as I could remember. What made him act like this? Why was he a total prick one moment and then like now just a second later? What…

"What did I mean to you?"

The question slipped out before I could think about it and now there was no way to take it back again.

"You?" The Master let out a laugh. "You're nothing, a distraction from the drums maybe, but that's it."

Wow, okay, that hurt. And there he was, making himself so vulnerable, sitting down there, the stupid grin on his stupid face. And I wanted to punch him and myself too, for being an idiot and… there it was again, this strange little feeling, instinct, call it what you want, but I simply knew.

"You're lying," I realised, dumbfounded.

The Master's face fell. For a single moment he didn't hide anything, maybe out of surprise. But it was enough for me, the final straw. I didn't care any longer. He wouldn't tell and I didn't want to be fed with half truths and non-information. Those memories had to be somewhere. I could always feel them, lingering, just out of reach behind a barrier of searing anguish. So I focused again, grabbed whatever I could hold, despite the headache. If I pushed through, if I ignored the pain in my head, then maybe, maybe behind it all, in that darkness, in that red fog… a voice called out to me.

"...p that! You're killing yourself, for fucks sake!"

Hands were on me, my arms got pinned down on the mattress. I saw red, so much red. More words that I couldn't understand and everywhere was pain. Did I scream? The room was in flames. I couldn't tell anymore what happened. The world drowned in too much. It burned in black and red and I fell, fell, fell so deep, there could be no bottom. Until… until something cool smoothed the waves, gently flowing through my mind, calming, reassuring, healing. Slow and careful caresses guided me back, upwards and into the light of the living world again.

Idiot.

The word rang through my head as if I had thought it myself, but the voice wasn't mine. My body trembled, my heart raced and I panted, but I still managed to open my eyes again, feeling myself steadily calm. Above me knelt the Master, holding both of my arms to my sides, to cease any struggle. His look was restrained and somewhat distant and I felt… from the tips of his fingers, up my arms and through my veins, flowing through me like smoke… another presence. Another mind.

Dumbstruck I opened my mouth, but at the same moment the sensation carefully retreated. The Master sat back on his haunches and wiped a hand over his face. "Shit! Don't do something like that!" His voice sounded so desperate. "You could have died!"

"Would that be so bad?" I murmured. After all, he had threatened with it for days.

"Yes!" He only snapped at me.

My head still hurt, but it was only a remnant from the maddening pain that had been there before. Then, however, I noticed a different sensation and at first I thought it was my heart, but it was the chest itself, the black, ever moving mark on it that slightly pulsated. I decided to keep that to myself. The Master was mad enough at me.

I sat up, at a loss for any words, actually. The Master watched me for seconds until he wanted to get up. And it was then that something snapped in me, so I grabbed his hand.

"Stay."

He groaned annoyed and ruffled through his hair, seemingly uneasy and uncertain about the whole thing. "I'm not leaving anyway. After that stupid action I think I need to keep an eye on you."

"It could have worked." The defence sounded stupid, even in my own ears.

"Unlikely."

Why me? Why did I have to go through this? Hadn't my life been bad enough already? Abandoned, pushed away, beaten up and literally forgotten so many times I couldn't even count them anymore. I was a ghost. And now I didn't even have a past anymore. A past that seemed to be about a lot more than the Master was willing to let on. He plopped down on a chair, getting out some device to read, obviously ready to hold watch over me the whole night. Or at least until I slept.

No blame here. I kind of deserved that.

The awkward silence lingered for a minute more until I gave myself a mental clap to get up and undress at least my shoes and pants. Okay, the hoodie too. Sleeping too warm was uncomfortable, after all. The Master didn't even look. Good for him, I decided stubbornly, but also scolded myself for the short pang of… of what? Disappointment?

Whatever it was, I decided to ignore it and slipped under the surprisingly soft and comfy covers, closing my eyes and listening to the faint murmur of people out in the streets. It was still broad daylight, but I had been awake for the span of an earthen day. Roughly. It was hard to tell here. It was hard to breathe.

I needed to remind myself to actually take in air, my chest so tight it started to hurt after a while. My muscles were too tense, my jaw clenched. Minute after minute I twitched and turned and tossed around, not finding a single position to be comfortable in.

It just wouldn't leave me.

I needed to know.

And finally I sat up again, blinking tiredly into the room. Of course the Master noticed. His bloody sensitive senses picked up more than I was comfortable with.

"Can't sleep?" he asked. "Don't blame me. I'm not making a single sound."

No, he really hadn't. Maybe that was the problem.

"Help me," I whispered, before I could lose a second thought.

"With what?" The Master laid the tablet aside and rose from the chair, stepping next to the bed.

"Help me remember," I clarified, grumbling. "You're such a bragging sod, I bet you can do something."

He smacked his lips and nodded, but also shook his head. "I know as much about it as you do."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"It seems so." There was hesitation at first, but after a bit of shifting and turning back to the chair the Master came to me and sat on the bed. "There is a way to at least take a closer look. You won't like it though."

And why did he care? "Tell anyway."

"I can have a look into your mind." He tapped against his head. "Telepathy, remember?"

Right, he had told me about it just hours ago. My brain was simply too full to process everything that happened right now. And there, when I had been dragged back from the darkness…

"Was it that?" I asked, half in thoughts still. "Just before. I… I felt as if I wasn't alone in my head and I heard a thought, but in your voice and then it was just… gone."

To my surprise, the Master seemed almost… nervous. He licked over his lips and looked across the room, his fingers twiddling and moving. Finally, he let out a frustrated growl. "I had to."

Strange. This felt like an apology. And that was the last thing I expected from him.

"Wasn't complaining," I mumbled.

"The Doctor was right. For once." The Master still looked into the room, somewhere, everywhere that wasn't my direction. "This isn't something to take lightly. I just never before… with anyone… never went much deeper than surface level. Just enough to twist some things a little, but not…"

"Not what?" I dared to ask.

"Forget it." The Master drew his brows together. Suddenly he seemed pissed. But the sensation vanished as fast as it had appeared.

"'kay. But will it help?"

He shook his head and, finally, looked at me. There was no lie in that look, no lie in his words. No, he reminded me of myself, in moments when I had been so completely lost that I couldn't keep holding on to my usual mask. When everything was too much and not enough at once.

"I don't know. And that's the truth. I don't care if you believe it, it's fact. All I can do is take a look and hope to find something."

I hummed, mulling over those words. In truth, the decision had long been made. "Let's do it then."

Chapter 25: Part V (VI)

"But first," I held up a hand and did what I usually avoided, looking him straight in the eyes. People need that, don't they? "What's happening here? You go on about how annoying and human I am and then all the threats about killing me and stuff. And now you're…" I made a vague gesture in his direction. "You're what? Concerned? Curious? You're like a different person right now. That's a bit unnerving, you know?"

There was a slightly growing grin, one that could be cruel, but really wasn't. Who was the real Master? Would he actually answer that question? It was unlikely, but I still had to ask. And my answer came when he snickered, shaking his head. "Not telling."

Of course. I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"But," he poked my shoulder, "you are still a bother. And human on top, nothing not annoying about that. And still," his grin dropped and he pulled his feet up to sit cross legged on my blanket, "it would be to my benefit would you remember. So, if you want to do this, I'll need skin. Your hands should be fine for a start."

"Skin?" I raised a brow, still mulling over his non-answer.

"It's touch-telepathy for a reason. I told you all of this before, so if it works, I won't have to repeat everything. If not, I'll explain later."

Right. I pursed my lips, but still nodded. "Soooo… we just hold hands?"

The Master seemed to misinterpret my pouting, because he snickered again. "If you prefer more skin, we can do that too. But yes," he caught my hand that wanted to playfully smack his knee, "it's enough."

His skin felt a little rough, maybe from all the tinkering he always did. His fingers slid over mine, gently, slow, exploring every inch of skin and when he grabbed me, firm and secure, the sensation from before was back. A foreign energy bristled in my head, tingling, spreading. I gasped at the unexpected intensity and had to close my eyes for more focus. There was so… much. A warm and subtle energy flew through my veins like it belonged there, yet felt too strange, too foreign, too decidedly not me.

Follow me.

His words rang through my head, again feeling like my own thoughts, but not in my own voice. How peculiar. I wasn't sure what to do, so I allowed his mind to catch mine, to carry me along a path I couldn't even begin to describe. Deeper and deeper into the depths of what was… us? He was there too, and so was I, somewhere within his thoughts, his essence, his very being, although he managed to hide everything of interest from me. It all was a blur, nothing coherent, no images or real thoughts, only vague impressions that told me nothing.

I heard his sigh and felt a shift in his energy, his fingers drawing gentle circles on my skin. Why did he sit so far away? I needed more, more contact, more skin, more… more of you.

His thought, my thought. There was no way to tell. And then I was led away from that and we wandered somewhere else, deeper and not, farther and closer, into a space of light and darkness alike. Glowing golden particles swirled within thick tendrils of black smoke, intertwined, dancing, never touching.

A piece of the void. That was here before… But it's a lot bigger now.

In this space I had no eyes to see and yet could make it out as if I could.

Is that where my mark comes from?

I felt a hum. A confirmation. But I don't know what it means. I can't touch it. He shifted my awareness to the glow. This is your life force, by the way.

The dancing light particles vanished almost completely between the black. A small reservoir of golden energy. I could feel it singing, eliciting a sensation of happiness, contentment, hope. But it was only a drop where an ocean should lie. Emptiness stretched through the darkness instead and that was a familiar thing to me. My light almost completely drowned in it.

Doesn't look like much.

There was nothing but the tiniest flame when it was only the life force I gave to you. Just enough to barely stay alive. What you have now is more than sufficient.

One of his hands left mine and the connection lessened, the images becoming blurred and I wondered why he did that when I felt warmth against my chest, his fingers splaying over the mark under my shirt. From his mind came a sensation of almost… reverence and at the same time a sudden sadness, a twinge of pain that slipped through the cracks in his shielding. Only for a single moment, but I had felt it.

Suddenly I started to slip away. My vision darkened, pulse slowing. Was I falling asleep? My eyes got so heavy all of a sudden. Sudden? For how long had we been connected? Time lost all meaning, but my body couldn't keep up anymore, my thoughts slow and sluggish, dragging themselves through our barely holding connection.

The Master sighed and carefully retreated. He entangled the threads of his mind from mine and eventually let go of my hand. "Going so deep for so long is draining you."

"Mhm… noticed," I slurred. "'t least it'll make me sleep, huh?" I dropped backwards, glaring at the ceiling. Outside, the sun cast its orange glow into the room. Twilight. "Didn't know people have actual life force. That's weird."

"It's nothing surprising when you think about it. If you want to, I can dig a little deeper at some other point. We could try and tweak some stuff." He glared up at the ceiling as if there was something interesting. "Well, guess I can snoop around outside now. Seems like you're drained enough to not do something stupid."

He wanted to get up, but a sudden urge made me grab his arm. Inside my mind he could have done literally anything to me and even with all the things he managed to shield from my perception, there was still enough seeping through to paint a picture I didn't understand yet. But I knew one thing, and that for certain. He wouldn't hurt me. Not in a way that mattered at least.

"Stay. You wanted a nap too, didn't you?"

The Master didn't move, but he turned his head to look at me, too far away for me to make out his expression. But I could hear his chuckle. "And you freaked out at the thought of me sleeping here."

"Yeah, sorry."

"Ah, never mind. Being scared of me is never a bad option."

He laughed and got up from the bed, slipping out of everything but t-shirt and boxers. I didn't really look, couldn't even see much right now anyway. Sleep crept up on me faster now, making it hard for me to keep my eyes open and I must have slipped away already when the Master climbed on the mattress. The movement made me twitch back to the waking world for a moment. A moment that was just long enough to feel an inappropriate pang of regret, because the Master stayed as far away as was possible in the small bed.

---

.

---

He couldn't sleep. It was impossible and not because he, technically, didn't need to, right now. A nap every few days helped to keep the mind sharp, but there was no actual need for it. Aside from having some peace and quiet from the drums for a while.

No, he couldn't sleep because it was impossible with the raging storm of emotions in his chest. Being connected with his silly human felt too good and it had been so bloody hard to hold back and not sweep her up into his lap, holding her small body as firm as he could without breaking her.

Alive. Alive and breathing and as well as one could be in her circumstances. It was impossible. He didn't know how she could have come back. Nothing made sense. Nothing and least of all those stupid emotions that weren't supposed to exist in the first place.

They had almost overwhelmed him when he had seen her on the cameras, obediently following the soldiers into the building. She had come of her own accord, more or less, if you turned a blind eye to the Doctor and his pet sacrificing her.

Cowards.

He lay there, in the dim, fading light and watched the small, human form sleep. She didn't trust him, not really. It was almost like when they had first met, although back then she had been so broken that she hadn't cared if he would hurt her or not.

Guilt.

The drums agreed.

The Master's guts twisted. He hated this particular emotion. All of his life he had done his best to eliminate it from his mind, had once even been sentenced to death because the High Vectors had been unable to locate even a trace of it within him. And yet, in this very moment, it existed and did its best to torment him. Because if he hadn't decided to take back this stupidly tiny fragment of life force, Lumin wouldn't have "died". And if he hadn't more or less ran away from the situation he might have noticed earlier that she had been alive after all. Maybe the time he had left her frozen in place and stuck in some limbo had caused the whole damn memory thing.

And maybe, if he hadn't let his hurt about being forgotten spring to the forefront so much, he wouldn't have given her a reason to avoid and fear him. They could have worked on this together, as allies.

The Master hated everything about every one of those thoughts.

This wasn't him. He didn't feel like this. Not ever.

And yet… he did.

Groaning into the spreading darkness, the Master sat up and reached for the tablet he had left on the desk. It was no use to stall, there was nowhere to run to, nothing to scheme. The blue surface of a text field illuminated the room.

M: You there?

He waited, glaring at the message, not knowing if the number was correct or if the other one would even…

D: Master?

His hearts fell into an unhealthy rhythm for a few beats.

M: Who else? Unless you throw out that number to just everyone. Should I get jealous?

D: Where are you?

The message popped up so fast, the Master had barely finished. This had been a stupid idea, hadn't it?

M: Not telling

Oh, he wished he could see the Doctor's face now. Did he sit on the edge of a seat, grabbing his device like a lifeline? Was he alone?

D: I didn't know you have that number. Would have contacted you earlier then

M: What for? You told me everything I needed to know. I have nothing else to say to you than I did in the flames.

Fuck. The hurt burned inside of him. That moment had proven that there would never be any trust from the other one's side. The Master could turn into a literal saint and would still face the accusations. So why even try?

D: What did you do to Lucy? came the next message. The life signs are gone……

M: Oh please, Doctor. I found that stupid bug on her the minute she stepped in.

D: Is she… fine?

Next to him stirred said human and turned in her sleep, facing him. The Master couldn't help it, he stroked his hand over her cheek, happy to have her alive and mostly well. She smiled at the touch, a barely noticeable expression, but still there.

D: I don't want to believe you did something to her. Was that just a game to you?

M: Shut up. Ofc she's OK.

For a few minutes nothing else happened and the Master contemplated writing more. There was no use in telling the truth. The Doctor wouldn't believe it anyway.

It stung.

Part of him missed hearing the stupid excited voice babble on about some nonsense. By now they would have ended up in some messed up adventure again and the Doctor would, grudgingly, deal with whatever prank the Master would have thought of.

Pranks.

That was how it had been for some years, after all. No evil deeds. Well, none that were too bad, anyway.

A tiny grey font at the bottom showed that the Doctor was writing. Then it stopped. The Master held his breath, eagerly awaiting the messages that didn't come. The grey notice disappeared, then reappeared some moments later, only to stop again. And again. Was that morron writing a novel?

The Master sighed and pressed two fingers against his eyes. Why in the universe had he initiated contact? This was so stupid and useless. Nothing would come from it. Just accusations and a speech on morals and whatnot. He barely wanted to look at the screen again, but eventually did.

D: miss you

Nothing else.

The Master didn't write back. He didn't know what.

Notes:

I couldn't resist tossing in a tiny hint at one of the War Master audios. (But I won't tell you where ;P )
Since I listened to them I really love Jacobi Master. He does such a great job, it's a delight.

Also, yay, mind sharing! My favourite. The show misses out on so much potential with this...

And a little Thoschei because we didn't have any of it for a while now ;P
My idiots need to be awful to each other <3

Chapter 26: Part V (VII)

Notes:

One last chapter of pure fluff, then we'll get back to plot. ;D

With a start I awoke from a dream that vanished as soon as my eyes blinked open. All that stayed was a bitter taste. And the darkness. I had a hard time telling if I felt rested now or if it was only the small adrenalin shot from waking so abruptly. Maybe both.

No, I didn't feel like getting up yet, so I stayed how I was and tried to relax myself back into sleep. Soft rain fell outside, soothing, steady, but not enough to wash the too many thoughts away that rushed into my head to stay there.

Sighing, I turned to the side and stopped all movement abruptly when I realised that I wasn't alone. The Master still lay there and his outline in the dark showed no indication of being awake. After I gave my eyes some time to adjust, I could also make out his face. Vague hints of darker and lighter parts, not moving inside the shadows.

Asleep.

Somehow the fact made me feel strange. A being as superior in every regard as him and yet he still needed rest, still needed to allow himself a few moments of vulnerability.

"Staring's rude."

I winced at his sudden voice.

"Told y'already, didn't I?" he slurred, not moving much, but just enough to confirm that I didn't imagine him talking.

"Uh, sorry." Good thing he couldn't see my face blushing in the dark. Why did I even react like this?

"You're still here," I noted.

"Real detective you." The Master yawned. Somehow I couldn't get the comparison to a cat out of my mind.

"You said you only need an hour or so."

"And it's been only five since we came up. Go back to sleep. Or you'll be all nagging again."

I snorted. But yes, I didn't feel as rested as after a full night. And if he really needed that little, but was still here, then… "Couldn't sleep?" I concluded. There was only a low grumble, so I prodded, "What kept you up?"

I didn't actually expect an answer, but I was still curious. What was important or threatening enough to put a man like him so much at unease that he would be unable to fall asleep?

"The Doctor."

His voice was quiet, barely a whisper above the rain outside.

"Hm, right. You two were a thing, weren't you?"

A snort, then a sigh. "Not really. Maybe…" He paused, then groaned into his pillow. "Fuck him. I don't care."

"Uh-huh."

He lightly boxed me in the ribs and I giggled at the petty gesture. The Master looked up from his pillow and, although I couldn't see his face, I just knew he was watching mine.

"Why are you awake? You humans sleep so bloody much it's a miracle you get anything done."

Good question. I stopped giggling and gave off a thoughtful hum. "Can't remember. Maybe it was a dream." There was more to it, but whatever it was slipped out of my grip whenever I tried to get a hold. And this time it wasn't a memory, else my head would start hurting again. No, nothing like that and still it made me think. "Did you find anything useful in my head? I fell asleep so fast."

He shifted in the darkness, turning to fully face me. Could Time Lords see better in the dark? Probably.

"Not yet. I'm not sure what we saw. Those void particles mingle with your life force. That much is obvious. But it's also obvious that they don't harm you."

I nodded. It had felt as if those particles were just there, existing. Nothing else. A huge contrast to how much his presence had felt. The strange sensation still lingered in my veins.

"I'd need to have another look and… what? You just went a shade paler." The Master glared at me, obviously seeing better in the dark than I. "I didn't hurt you, did I? You need to tell. This can go-"

"No," I interrupted him. "No, really. You didn't." Not at all and that was the actual problem. Being connected with him… it had felt good. But also… "I was in your mind too."

"Mhm. It's not as much intruding as it is sharing."

"Yeah, but that's the point. This is… is… I'm not sure how to word it." I sighed and glared at my hand that lay beside my head, curling my fingers as if I could simply grab the words I needed.

"Intimate?" The Master offered and I thought to hear a slightly mocking tone.

"That too. But… more. Much more than just that and…"

"And you don't want me anywhere that close. I get it." He chuckled.

"No. It's just… I agreed to this. It was all me. I didn't know this would affect us both. I didn't… I don't know if I should do that to you."

Silence.

Minutes passed without a word spoken. He probably laughed at me and at how stupid this was. After all, he had shielded almost everything from himself. I had barely felt anything at all, aside from us being there.

I heard the rustling of clothes, slight movement in the dark. And then… fingers stroking along the palm of my open hand, warm, tingling. The fleeting sensation of connection bristled along the edges of my mind. Potential. Not more.

"I knew what I would do. With all consequences." The Master's voice was low, barely more than a murmur. "You stupid human. You really should stop being so concerned about me when I could crush you at any second. It wouldn't even cost me much strength."

A chill went down my spine, but not because of the threat that was none. He moved his fingers from the palm of my hand up to the tips of my fingers, each of our digits pressed together. I could feel tendrils of consciousness, a flow of energy, nudging, asking. Yes, the Master was a danger. To me. To everyone. And right now… right now I didn't care. And without knowing how it even worked, I sent a thought, a confirmation, an allowance. And the Master lowered his hand, pressing it completely against mine, before intertwining our fingers and our minds alike.

My body tensed until I managed to gasp out a breath. There he was, there I was. We moved, flew along the blood in our veins and in the web of thoughts in our brains, swam with the essence that defined any of us as who we were and might be. And for the first time in maybe my whole life I felt truly understood, seen and accepted with everything that was so wrong about me. Here it didn't matter, here we were equal.

And then the connection faded and left me behind, empty and cold and confused until I realised the Master had moved his hand away from mine to wipe away the tears from my face. "Silly little light," he muttered.

"'m sorry. I didn't mean to cry." I turned away slightly. "This's just overwhelming."

"Yeah."

He didn't offer more than that and what for? There was no hiding in such a shared mental space, so he must have felt everything I did. He knew my past, and he knew it seemingly better than any other person I had ever met.

"It wasn't too much," I then hurried to say. "I was just surprised. We can…"

The Master chuckled quietly. "Can't get enough?"

I turned back and sighed. Why wasn't he mocking me? Why didn't he push me away like everyone else in my life had done? Why did he allow me to get so damn close?

"It's the first time I felt… I'm not sure… like I'm understood. Like… as if I'm seen. Really seen and not just…"

"I know," he said quietly. "But don't get the wrong idea. You're helping me too."

"Huh? How?"

"The drums. When we're connected I barely hear them."

"I see," I mumbled. And then the longing for those sensations suddenly became way too strong, taken away too soon. A few moments of this and my whole being had discovered a new level of existing. And I wanted more of it. "So, can we…?"

The Master laughed to himself and shuffled a little closer. This time it didn't scare me. "We can, yes. But let's get a bit more comfy, what do you think?"

"Uh… sure."

He moved again and a moment later my face lay only inches away from his chest. It was warm there, comfortable. And it was up to me to get any closer or stay exactly where I was.

"Skin contact," he told the top of my head. "Or rather… nerve endings. The more connect, the broader the pathway. Can I touch you?"

I took in a breath, feeling his hand hover near my hip. He only lowered it when I gave my okay, and then it snaked its way below my shirt where he settled on my back, drawing me against him. And I allowed that too, my heart beating wild as I settled my forehead and my hand against him. There it was again, the double heartbeat, drumming under the tips of my fingers, singing, dancing, speeding up almost as fast as my own.

I vaguely remembered that neither of us wore many clothes and that we shared the same blanket now, but I didn't care much about any of it, nor about how I had gone from a prisoner to… this.

And then I thought nothing more when his mind seeped into mine again, spreading like pulsating smoke and carrying an eagerness with it I hadn't felt before. This was more than a bandage for the drums for him. This meant something. We meant something. The combined essence of our minds, as different as minds could be and yet so similar in many aspects. I felt my own loneliness reflected back at me, the pain of rejection, the fear of abandonment. But when I had resolved to hide, he had turned everything into anger. Should the universe and everything within it burn. It did not matter. The flames were so pretty, dancing, singing for him, for me, warming even the darkest and coldest of nights.

There. I didn't need my memories to understand, after all. We were alike in what we shared and we both found solace in the connection, in the faint drumming that reverberated through my veins.

I hadn't noticed how my finger had started to draw small circles on the Master's chest, right between his hearts and I stopped the movement immediately. Almost all of the sensations of my body felt numb, like I would feel them through a layer of water. Was this even my own body? How much of his experience was mine right now? How much of the urge to burn came from him and how much of it belonged to myself, hidden in shame. Now that I had dug it out, however, it seared through me, hot and wild, driving.

The Master groaned, his own chaos mingling with those thoughts, amplifying them. The universe could be ours. Each and every one of those beautifully twinkling stars. He wanted them all. He wanted to own and travel and see and capture and burn and freeze them.

Stars.

Beautiful, beautiful stars.

And admit the lights of the universe ran a pulse. Four beats, faint and ever repeating. I huddled closer, wanting to get lost in the rhythm below my fingertips, inside my mind and… "They are not the same," I muttered, or maybe thought.

What isn't?

"The drums in your chest." And the ones in your mind.

His essence moved, changed, his hand on my back stiffened, clutched me tighter. It took him so incredibly much to hold back, even though I couldn't tell what. The intention was hidden from me, the struggle was not. Neither was the pain. Stay with me. Neither was the force with which he held onto me. Don't vanish again. And I couldn't tell if any of it was even his or if it was all me or both of us.

It didn't matter.

How can you hear them? We aren't connected that deeply.

I shrugged, probably. How could it be so hard to differentiate what was real and what only happened in my mind? Do I?

The sound stayed with me, always the same, always repeating. It drummed through him a lot louder than through me and I got barely more than an echo. But yes, it was there. I could hear it clearly. Projection?

No. That would feel differently.

Again,the holding back. From what? It took him so much and when I tried to sense what it might be, he closed that part off even tighter and held me just as firm. Don't let go. I was warm. So incredibly warm that it brought new tears to my eyes. Maybe it didn't.

Everything melded together. Nothing mattered anymore but this. And I drowned, slow and content. I sank into the flames and the stars, deep and lost and completely okay with it.

Chapter 27: Part VI - A looming shadow

Notes:

Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🦇

And yes, the updates are coming slow. Lack of energy, burnout and depression will do that to one...
But... they are coming. ;D
Also, most of you won't know the character that gets introduced here. I listened to too many Big Finish audios and the dynamic between her and the Master is just pure gold! I couldn't resist. She's fun, I promise ;D

There was no awkward morning after. When I dragged myself out of a dreamless sleep the sun still hadn't come up again, but even in the darkness I could feel the empty space next to me.

My head swam with memories from the night. The whole experience felt utterly surreal to me and yet, in a way, familiar. I sensed that we definitely had done this before, no doubts there. Our minds slotted together like pieces of a puzzle, perfectly shaped or even moulded to fit. That wasn't a coincidence.

Something about my mind made the Master's drums quieter. Or less notable. Depending on how I wanted to see it. For the end result the details probably didn't matter much. So, for one reason or the other, I was certain, I had offered to share minds with him before. To soothe the drumming and maybe even gain something for myself.

The sense of belonging perhaps. The experience of feeling understood without judgement, without strings attached, without having to hide almost everything about who and what I was. Never in my life had I experienced that. No one had accepted me, not without conditions.

Change the way you think and act and function. Change the very foundation of your existence and then, maybe, just maybe, they will accept you.

That was the deal. Always. With everyone.

Except for the Master.

Definitely weird. Definitely not what I expected when I had volunteered to come here.

Groaning, I rolled out of bed and slipped back into my clothes. The small, adjacent bathroom luckily offered a tooth brush and a shower, so I felt somewhat refreshed when I entered the tavern below. Well, it wasn't really a tavern, too modern. And yet, it appeared to serve the same function. That or I decidedly consumed too much fantasy literature.

A small lump sat in my throat. This was a foreign place, after all and I didn't understand the language. Not many people sat in here right now, at this late an hour, tired looking faces, one group of three that shared a last drink. The staff looked relaxed, they probably worked in shifts. What if I was alone here? Would it have been wiser to wait in the room? And what, a nasty voice in my head whispered, if he wasn't even here anymore?

One of the waitresses almost bumped into me, apologising (or maybe cursing at me, who knows) and giving me a confused look. That one I often got. That one where people suddenly realise that I exist in the same reality as theirs. Maybe he had simply forgotten that I was here and had moved on. No thought wasted.

It wouldn't be the first time someone did that.

The fear wasn't necessary. I only took a few more steps into the room and immediately found the Master. He sat at a table, a whole buffet in front of him of which he picked a piece here and there, making different faces at the tastes. Like an emperor who judged the fruits of his peasants. He looked equally silly and as if he owned the whole place and the thought struck me that maybe I should ask him how to become less invisible to people.

Relief trickled through my stomach, brushing the thought away. And, strange enough, when I watched him make a delighted face at a tiny fruit on a stick I couldn't help but smile. Was that fondness? How strange. Those were both emotions I never thought I would have around him, but here we go.

Or not. I couldn't get close before another person swooped in, taking the seat opposite of the Master. She was lean, blond and wore an outfit meant for movement and travel. A futuristic looking pistol of some sort stuck in a holster at her thigh. The Master almost choked at her sight, glaring at the woman with wide eyes.

"Now, that's a face I didn't expect to see again," he remarked and quickly regained all of his usual composure. His demeanour changed when he spotted me and waved me over. "Don't worry, that lovely lady here isn't as dangerous as I."

The woman turned around and tossed glances back and forth between me and the Master. "Another one of your victims?"

"More like a prisoner, slash tour guide?" I shrugged and reached a hand out. "Lucy."

"Vienna," she said, shaking my hand. "Vienna Salvatori."

I cocked my head. "Sounds familiar. Somehow. You're famous or something?"

"Among certain people, of course. But… prisoner?" Vienna looked me up and down. "You look awfully unbothered for one."

I shrugged again, not yet awake enough to deal with explanations. Since she occupied the only other chair on that side of the table I slid on the bench next to the Master, nudging him with my shoulder. "Make space. Is there coffee?"

The Master moved a little to the side and reached for a small pot nearby. "Nope. Told you, this planet doesn't have any."

"But yesterday…"

"I built a nano processor while you slept." He shrugged and filled a cup with the white-yellowish liquid in the pot before pushing it towards me with a wide grin. "You literally had the only one this planet has ever seen."

I glared at the cup, blinking. "You built that thing so I could have coffee?" It sounded like way too much effort.

"Now, don't get your knickers in a twist, little one. I simply know how unbearable you can be without. And this," he pointed at my cup, "has a similar effect, but I'm not sure how exactly a human organism reacts to it, soooo…"

"I wouldn't drink it," said Vienna. "It's probably poisoned."

"As trusting as ever."

"After our last encounters?" She huffed. "Let's say I learned a thing or two."

It was either this or being tired. There was also the logical side; the Master wouldn't go through so much trouble all those days only to casually poison me now. So, while the two still bickered, I carefully took a sip. The beverage tasted surprisingly sweet and a little fruity. But it was still hot, which made it hard to drink. "So, how exactly do you two know each other?"

"Ah, long story." The Master snickered. "Several, to be precise."

"And all of them bad. I thought you were finally properly dead, Lloyd."

The Master let out a groan.

"Lloyd?" I looked at him. "Don't tell me that's your actual name?"

"No!" He snapped. "Of course not! It sounds stupid!"

"He wouldn't tell and I refused to call him Master." Vienna grinned. "Guy needed a usable name and got one."

"What do you want?" The Master tapped on the table. "Who put a bounty on my head, this time?"

"Actually," Vienna grabbed a fruit from the table and ignored the death glare she got for it, "You did. The order came from the high president. Who is obviously dead, after the resistance blew the place up. Say, did you make them do it or was that just a case of right time, right place?"

"Would you believe it if it was the latter?" The Master smirked, then nudged me and nodded at the table. "It's all edible for you. I didn't order this all for myself. Dig in." And to Vienna he said, "So there was a protocol in place for when someone else dares to overtake the place. Not uncommon."

I picked a plate with fruits and a fork, shovelling some other… stuff on it. Curiosity be damned. I wasn't even that hungry and yet couldn't resist biting into various fruits and pastries. A lot of them tasted similar to things I knew, others were completely foreign, but interesting enough to eat them anyway.

"Not just any old protocol, no. It was you."

I looked at the Master. He obviously had no clue how that might have happened.

"In fact," she said, "It was you in person. How else do you think I'd recognize that new face of yours. Last time you were all… grey. The voice was better. Well, the money also isn't that bad. Which leads to the question… What made you suicidal all of a sudden?"

"A different timeline maybe," the Master mused. "That or my future. Which would mean I decided that you're the best option for whatever lies ahead."

"Mhm. Don't flatter me. That doesn't work. Last time you needed me, you only wanted my body."

I choked on a grape-thing and glared at them. Not only did they both look as if they could jump each other at any second, it also was very clear that it would not end in a bed, but in a blood bath. The Master sat leaned backwards on the bench, one arm on the armrest, his whole self radiating tenseness. And Vienna's hand lay on the thick weapon on her belt, one leg half off the chair, ready to move whenever needed.

"Thought you were above that," I couldn't help but tease, if only to loosen the mood a little. Him being tense must mean that the woman was dangerous.

It worked. The Master stopped clenching his jaw and blinked stupidly at me for a moment before barking out a laugh. "No, silly. Not like that. Stop having horny thoughts about me."

"Oi! I don't!"

He poked the side of my head, grinning mischievously.

"He literally wanted my body," coughed Vienna. "In the sense of stealing it to transfer his consciousness into a vessel that was not dying. Didn't work, of course."

I swatted after his hand, glowering. The Master only found it funny and poked me again.

"Did you hypnotise that girl? Can't imagine why else she'd manage not to stab you by now."

"'m not!" I protested, but then looked at the Master, scepticism rising within me. "I'd… know if I were, wouldn't… I? Am I? Did you?"

Last night, while we shared our minds, he could have done literally anything in there without me noticing. Would I know?

"Nooooo!" whined the Master. "What for?"

"I could name a bunch of reasons," drawled Vienna. "Sending her into an impossible situation, making her do stuff you're too busy or lazy to do yourself, sending her on a death mission, sending her on a suicide mission, making her fight your battles, so it's her who dies instead of you… I could go on, shall I?"

"You shall shut the fuck up, Salvatori," the Master grumbled. "Lumin isn't hypnotised and she is not some random victim."

"A special victim, cool." I smirked and grabbed more of the not-coffee.

"Not that either." The Master ground his teeth, then frowned at Vienna. "Why speak to me? You could have shot me from afar and been done with it."

The assassin scoffed. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"I wouldn't have hired you if I thought that."

"Uhm… well, er… Wait, no, you try to trick  me into helping you with… whatever shitty thing you're scheming again! I learned enough about time travel to know you can't hire me if your past is dead!"

Slowly, the Master clapped his hands a few times. "Bravo. A+ in temporal physics. But you are wrong. It is possible, although it would require some serious… cheating. Like a paradox machine."

"Oh, don't start. It's implausible and that's enough."

"If you say so."

"Let her talk," I said and nudged his shoulder. "There needs to be something more to the story."

"Why, thank you, Lucy. At least one person on your side of the table with some brains."

"Says the human who has provenly less than half of-"

"We get it!" I groaned. "You can't stand her."

The Master crossed his arms, pouting. "Fine, talk. And make it quick.

Vienna didn't manage to speak, however. The first half of her sentence drowned in an ear piercing crashing and rumbling, fire and debris splattering through the room. I only saw a piece of burning wood crash into the wall right next to me, then an arm wrapped around my middle. The Master dragged me under the table, holding my head. My heart pounded against the hardwood floor, dust blew in my face and I hid it below my arms, coughing. Mind blank. I heard screams, people running, a loud rumble that vibrated through the whole building and more falling stones.

It took a while. The ringing noise in my ears overshadowed it.

Then silence.

Slowly it ebbed its way into my consciousness, only occasionally disturbed by another piece of collapsing wood or stone.

The darkness.

It was all around me. No light made its way to my eyes.

The smells.

Of dust and sweat and old paint.

And, as slow as my senses and my thoughts returned from the shock, I puzzled the pieces together.

The whole building had collapsed over us.

Chapter 28: Part VI (II)

Movement disturbed the silence. The Master let go of me and shuffled around, grunting and cursing. Then, finally, he shoved something aside and faint light fell through a crack, illuminating the dust under our table. It seemed to have protected us from the worst.

Groaning of strained metal, creaking of crumbling stone.

A loud stomp on the table and I winced, wrapping my arms over my head.

Buried.

We were buried alive under tons and tons and tons-

"Lumin! Get up!"

I dared to look at the light, the silhouette of the Master. He stood upright, so maybe we weren't completely submerged. A rumble again, more stones falling and I managed to move at last, crawling out from under the cover and into the night. Dust clouded my sight, collecting on my glasses. A torch lay on a rock, not bright enough to show the complete destruction, but enough to let me guess it.

The destruction was complete. As far as I could tell not a single stone sat where it was supposed to be. Splinters of wood that once were solid beams stuck out from the rubble. The upper floor had completely vanished, no trace of the room we had just stayed in remained.

If I had slept a little longer…

"Vienna! For fuck's sake, don't you dare to be dead!" growled the Master. "I'm not done with you yet." He climbed over stone and wood, buried into the debris at various places, constantly cursing.

Dust snowed down from a few remains of structure. Where were the houses around us? Why couldn't I hear people? No one came running, no one screamed in panic, no one cried in pain or begged someone to stay alive.

Silence.

Silence and dust and debris.

I sat down right where I stood.

"I swear to the Vortex, Salvatori, if you don't pop up already-"

There. A muffled cry. The Master heard it too and hurried to a pile near the table, kicking and tossing away everything until he had created enough space to grab the assassin and drag her out. Vienna coughed and bent over, completely covered in dust, but otherwise seemingly unharmed.

The Master grunted. "How nice of you to be still breathing."

"Worried… old man?" Vienna brought out between coughs.

"I hired you to do a job, not to die without my approval." The Master crossed his arms, tapping a foot in the rhythm of four.

"As compassionate as ever."

"For you always. Can you move? We should get out of here before whatever blew up half the town comes back."

Half the town? I looked left and right. Silence, rubble. Yeah, of course. This building wasn't the only one that got destroyed. The ones around us too, hidden in the darkness. And the ones next to them. And the ones-

"Your prisoner doesn't look like it, though," said Vienna.

The Master turned toward me, raising a brow. What did she mean? He climbed in my direction and reached down to help me up, but I couldn't really take my eyes off the scenario around us. It reminded me of video games I had played and how much fun those had been. I remembered the tremors and the building collapsing, burned into my mind. Here there was no old music playing for melancholy, here I didn't have a weapon on me to fight monsters, here I wasn't strong and I didn't have cheat codes and the whole building had collapsed above my head and would have crushed me if the Master hadn't-

"Lumin, hey!" He shook me by the shoulders. "Look at me!" And I did, reluctantly. Fire and darkness in those eyes. He would burn me. I flinched away, tried to escape, hide, wait and– he let go of my shoulders and grabbed my face between his palms, gently tilting it upwards. "I know how strong and stubborn you can be. So be it now. Please."

Strong and stubborn? When had I ever…?

"I won't allow you to stay behind. I don't care if you're shocked or traumatised, understood?" I blinked at him, stupidly. Something stirred in my chest, the memory of how to dissociate, get away, away, away from the fear, push it back, ignore it, lock it away. "I need you with me, my little light," the Master murmured. "You are mine. The fear can't have you."

Swallow. Breathe. I closed my eyes and drowned inside my own darkness so I could emerge into the world again. Numb, maybe, but functioning. He needed me? Was it a lie? Did it even matter? The words were on my lips and I didn't know where they came from. "Yes, Master."

He smiled - a warm smile - and leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He pushed another flashlight into my hands. "Good. Let's get out of here."

I attached the clip of the light to my hoodie and followed them, carefully climbing and sliding, dropping and slithering. My hands got cuts and bruises fast, but I barely took notice. The rubble had spread far in all directions and we had to get over the remnants of walls and stairs and furniture, stacked high as if a demon had had its fun with it.

"He's manipulating you," murmured Vienna next to me. "Old sweet talker he is. And then, when you don't look, he kicks you down into a pit."

"You have so much trust in me. I'm flattered," snickered the Master.

"In you? Always."

"I know," I simply said. "It's okay."

"Okay? How can that be… That is not okay! Whatever he promised you, you won't get it."

I shrugged, hopping down from a stone. "Yeah. He didn't, though. Promise anything, I mean. 'M just here' cause I want to be."

I came to a halt next to the Master and looked up, finding the shadow of a smile on his face. "It's the whole district." He nodded towards more debris that was only visible in the light of his torch. "Everyone must have gotten buried in their sleep."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Haven't seen or heard anyone."

"Horrible to think about it," said Vienna. "There might be people still alive though. We made it out, after all. Can't be the only ones."

"Tough. I won't stop to look for any of them. Whoever did this might want to make sure the damage is complete. And I want to be out of here before that happens."

Vienna heaved a heavy sigh. "Hate to admit it, but you're right. I'll alarm the militia as soon as we're safe."

How many might there be, I wondered. Buried and unable to escape the darkness, the pressure above their heads, the graves that wouldn't let them leave. Hadn't it been for the Master's quick reaction… I might have been one of them. A thought to better discard quickly, I decided.

It took a while, although time slipped from my awareness. The monotone act of climbing and slithering, stumbling and balancing kept my mind occupied. Daylight didn't return, but soon there came the noises of vehicles and the distant voices of people, shouting. Of course they had heard it. An explosion as big as this couldn't go unnoticed. The Master steered us away from them, much to my relief. I didn't want to talk to anyone and not only because I couldn't even understand them.

"Good, that took care of itself," said the assassin, watching the police and emergency services arrive. "But I could really need a shower and fresh clothes." She patted herself down in a vain attempt to get rid of at least some of the dust.

"Yeah, indeed. You smell."

"Hey, I don't! I did -"

"Of human."

"Oh." She got quiet and then fumed again as soon as she got aware of the underlying insult. "Gah! Why do I even bother with you? Should have shot you an hour ago."

The Master chuckled. "Because you are too curious. You know you will miss the whole conclusion to this mystery."

"But I'd get rid of you in the process and do the whole universe a huge service." Vienna suddenly stopped and pulled out her gun from the holster, pointing it right at the Master's chest. "So tell me one good reason not to do it."

She was serious. At least she appeared to be serious enough. My heart shot into my throat. She couldn't… could she? The gun gave off an ominous hum. She couldn't alter the timeline, right? A blue glow danced across the metal.

"Stop! No!" Without another thought I slipped in front of the Master, holding my arms out. The gun's muzzle almost touched my chest, hovering just a hand's width away. But I had no time to process.

"What're you doing?" Vienna pressed out, annoyed. Immediately the gun powered off and she lowered it. "That jerk would have blown up everything himself if it suited his stupid plans."

"Hm," came a nonchalant hum from behind me. "She's not wrong. Step away, little one." He laid a hand on my shoulder, lightly pushing, but I didn't budge. "Oh, don't be stupid. She won't shoot me and I'm not worth dying for." This time he grabbed me with both hands and left me no choice but to move away.

Not worth dying for.

His words lingered in the air like petrichor. I could taste them, feel them under my skin, whispered, thought, repeated, over and over again, for centuries.

"You're my only option to get away from here," I mumbled. "You die, I'm stuck here."

"Nah, bollocks." The Master snickered, but when he turned away, I also heard a sigh, saw his fists clench.

"I'd take you wherever you want," offered Vienna. Finally, she put the gun away and walked past us. "I have a ship. It's small, but it can get far enough."

"No need for that." The Time Lord followed, hands folded behind his head. "I'm sure the Doctor scans the planet for my life signs regularly. If they stop, he'll swoop in and get you guys out in no time. He is just too scared to do it while I'm still kicking. The coward."

"The Doctor is around too?" asked Vienna. "Oh, don't tell me, you're trying to murder him, again. And all this is just one big scheme to get to him."

"If only." The Master laughed. "The bastard did a good job of giving me reasons not to. But I would still appreciate getting away from this dumpster. It's a bit primitive for my taste."

"Whatever. You're probably lying anyway. Doesn't change that I can get Lucy out of here, safe and sound."

Out of here. She just assumed that was what I wanted. Of course she did. It was only logical, after all. The only person who didn't make any sense here was… me.

"'M not leaving," I muttered. "Told you, I'm here cause I want to be."

"You did. I won't even pretend to understand. But if he so much as tries to harm you, I will shoot him. And where are we even going?"

The Master didn't stop. "Away, isn't that obvious? This place will be brimming with action soon and I'm not in the mood to deal with any of it. My men will meet us on the way with a car. Unless," he tilted his head and gave the assassin a good look, "you want to get a taxi and point with bright flashing signs towards you obviously having crawled out from under the rubble." He didn't even wait for an answer and just snorted. "Yeah, didn't think so."

I sighed, shaking my head. Those two truly hated each other. "Is the whole way going to be like that with you two?"

We rounded a corner and finally most of the noises from emergency vehicles died down. A few still made their way to the scene, lighting up the darkness with their purple lights. I tried not to imagine how many dead bodies they were about to recover, nor why we hadn't seen a single soul on our way out. After all, it was impossible. Not everyone could have been asleep or in bad positions. It simply made no sense.

Didn't they see? The Master surely must have been suspecting something. Being an arse didn't make him stupid, after all.

Or maybe he knew, or at least suspected it. If you knew what to look out for it was hard to miss, although he had admitted to knowing nothing. A lie? If he really wanted to hide it from me, he surely could. My hand wandered to my chest on its own, feeling for the faint pulsing underneath it. A rhythm that wasn't that of my heart, a pulse that ran through black, inky void. During the last night it had started to emit a strange kind of black glow, however that was possible. And it hadn't stopped ever since.

Chapter 29: Part VI (III)

"What do you mean, you can't leave? I ordered it, you ca-" The Master paused, listening to the voice on his phone with the deepest scowl. "Ugh, fine. I'll take another way in. Keep them out."

Grunting, he stuffed the device back into the inner pocket of his leather jacket and ran a hand over his face.

"So… no ride?" I deducted. The people he had ordered to pick us up hadn't shown themselves.

"Aaaaw, don't tell me they saw behind your facade and betrayed you already. Must be a personal record," taunted Vienna.

"Will you just shut up, dust bin?" The Master rolled his eyes and nodded his head down a road, starting to walk. "Some rebels are blocking the road in front of the mansion. My men can't drive through. At least not without driving literally through them."

"Don't tell me you're taking pity on them."

"Heck, no! I told them, I don't care. But the military personnel here seem to have a way higher moral codex than the ones on earth. And since they obeyed on their own, so far, I didn't hypnotise any of them… yet." He growled annoyed.

I had a suspicion this would be one of the first things he'd correct as soon as we would make it back.

"Great," Vienna grumbled. "My bike was parked nearby. Means it's dust now. And my ship is farther away than your stupid not-even-yours mansion."

"We… could just take a cab?" I suggested. "Yesterday, we walked all day. Even with detours and rest stops the way back must be… uh… definitely long."

The Master nodded, glowering into the distance. "My perception filter got a crack during the explosion."

"So? What's the problem?"

"What do you think?"

"Because you're on telly?" I shrugged. "You think they all want interviews and signatures?"

"None of that, I'm afraid."

"They're more likely to try and kill him. Especially if word gets out he's been in the explosion area. People will think he's involved. Which I, to be fair, wouldn't entirely put past him."

"It was not me!" The Master grunted. "If it were I wouldn't have been in there, duh!" He rolled his eyes and led us down an alley with red trees, through a park of sorts. One with very few people in it.

"You survived with barely a scratch, though." Vienna wouldn't stop, would she? I slipped a hand over my chest, feeling the faint pulse through my hoodie. "How'd you explain that?"

The Master shrugged, but tossed a quick glance at me, making me drop the hand.

"'S just luck," I murmured. "It was so dark all around, we probably just didn't see anyone else."

"Yeeeaaah, right."

With every step leaves crunched under our shoes, gravel and sand, bark and nuts. An insect flew by that reminded me of a dragonfly. Somewhere a bird chirped its solemn tune. This park actually looked beautiful. Trees in all sorts of colours stretched along the paths, bushes adorned with blooming petals swayed gently in a breeze. It was almost quiet, except for nature's sounds.

And the bickering of the other two. They really needed to tell me how they had come to know each other. A story that would probably as much amuse as shock me. I had read about a bunch of the Master's deeds throughout his life and knew what he was capable of. So, those stories couldn't be too pleasant, could they?

My mind wandered at a faster pace than my feet, dragging me this way and that before it halted at the collapse again. The not-silence afterwards. This dark and empty space under the table that had felt so… big. Vast. Like a whole other dimension. As if, for a second, I had slipped into some kind of… void. No, not slipped. Dragged it. Pulled it over me - us - like a blanket. Because there had been silence. And there had been darkness. Until there had been not… anymore. Until the creaks and groans had returned, until I had felt a shuffle and seen a light and-

"Breathe."

I looked up. Vienna and the Master had stopped walking. Why had they? Why were they so high above? Why was there gravel under my knees? I stretched out a hand, letting it run over dead leaves and stones. How did I get on the ground?

The Master crouched down. The weight and warmth of his hand on my shoulder dragged me out from my thoughts. "We got out," he said firmly, piercing me with his eyes. A look that allowed for no objection. "You are no longer under the rubble. Feel that?" He moved his hand to mine and gently pressed it closer to the ground. "That is not debris. Those are plants and grass and nature."

He knew, I realised. He knew what ran through my mind, knew that this was an experience that might leave traces on someone. He knew. Like someone who had been haunted by it - once - an eternity ago. But he remembered. And now he stayed… here… with me… dragging me out. Back to the surface.

I swallowed and nodded, letting out a shaking breath. "Why's that happening?" I asked him. "Did I break?"

"You're in shock," said Vienna from above. She gave me a reassuring smile. "No wonder, after you've almost got buried alive. Most people would react like that."

"But not you," I muttered, feeling weak and pathetic, because they both were so completely unbothered. If only I could be more like them. Unfazed and strong in the face of danger.

The Master chuckled and got up, reaching a hand out to me. "No. I'm waaaaay beyond broken since centuries and that one's just too stupid to think about it."

"Hey! Take that back, you jerk! I'm smarter than you. I bested you every single time."

I took the Master's hand and allowed him to pull me up to my feet again. For a second we lingered, closer than we needed to be, glances exchanged that could mean anything and nothing at all.

"Don't scream, Salvatori. You were just lucky."

"My ass was it just luck!" she clamoured and went on about Daleks and some crime boss and something about an exorcism even.

I barely listened, too occupied with getting one foot in front of the other. The absolute only thigh in my mind, I tried to convince myself. Nothing else. Certainly not that the Master had hooked his arm into mine, casually, as if there was nothing to it but to give me an aid should I fall back again. An aid. From him, who had destroyed and threatened and stolen and betrayed and… and anything else anyone could imagine. And all of the things Vienna ranted on about, on top of it.

I'm not worth dying for.

A statement, made so casually and still it wouldn't leave my mind. Did he really believe it? I knew he cared for no one and yet… and yet… He had helped me get grounded and swim up from the depths of my fear, before I could drown. And there was the Doctor too. He surely would mind? Doubt gnawed on me, after I had witnessed how little trust there was between them.

Could the Master be right, after all?

"You still haven't told me why you are here," said the Master. "I gave you the job to assassinate me, not to have a little chat."

"And I figured you wouldn't let me shoot you anyway. Believe me, there's not much I'd rather do right now."

"What did the other me tell you?" He tapped against his chin with the free hand. "Do you remember the words?"

Vienna thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "Not precisely, no. The encounter was… uncannily pleasant, though. No insults, no death threats."

"Must've been someone else then," I jibed and promptly got a finger poked into my site. I winced. Why did the bastard know I was ticklish?

We neared a wooden pavilion that sat among large trees, it had a wide roof and high walls on three sites. A nice place. If you were on a casual stroll, that is.

"Yeah, I found it rather strange too. Maybe I met a mindless clone instead of the real deal. Not that you'd have much more in your brain. Too much's occupied by stupid plans and how to deceive everyone."

"Ohhhh, someone is jealous!" The Master cackled. "You wish you would have even a fracture of what is in my head. Instead you consist of… mhmmhm… at least eighty percent dust. The rest is obviously empty."

"Ugh! Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because…" The Master inconspicuously tugged at my arm and fell a few steps behind. We stood in the entrance to the pavilion, unnoticed by the other woman. "I just found a way to get rid of all that dust on you."

"Huh? What do you mean? Why did you stop?" Vienna came to a halt and turned to face us, just in time to get surprised by a whoosh of rain falling down on her head. She got soaked within seconds.

The Master laughed out loud, dragging me deeper inside to stay dry and released my arm. I couldn't help it, the situation was funny. When Vienna caught up and came in I just had to join the laughter, seeing her drip all over the wooden floor.

She was clean now.

"I hate you so much!" she grunted. "And I hate this damn planet with its stupid rain showers out of nowhere!" She cried angrily, slipping out of her jacket to wring it as dry as possible. "Your solution sucks!"

The Master still giggled to himself. "I never said it's a pleasant one."

Vienna kept cursing while I crossed the pavilion in a vain hope to find something of interest. But nope, it sat around us, dull and boring, but at least dry. With some supplies we could have lit a fire in the middle, the space providing a circle filled with the ashes of previous visitors. The rest consisted only of a long bench that completely wound around the hut, enclosed by wood so none of the rain had a chance to fall inside. Except for the small entrance; it only stayed dry because of the wide roof.

"Guess, we'll have to stay here for a few minutes," I mused.

"Make it at least an hour." The Master glared out of the door slit, hands in pockets. "It's a nasty one."

A grunt came from Vienna's direction. She had given up on her jacket and instead flopped down on the bench, head thudding backwards. She wasn't a danger, I decided. Turning my back to her was safe, probably. So I stepped next to the Master, watching the rain fall. This felt different and yet similar to the moment we had shared in similar weather, the day before. Calm. Quiet for him. The Master looked down and then walked inside, signalling me with a nod to follow.

Maybe, it shot through my head, it would be wise to be less obedient here and there. Later, perhaps. Right now there was no reason not to. I still wanted answers and the Master seemed to have them, although it was uncertain if he was to be trusted with… anything.

We sat on the bench too, the rain pitter-pattering on the wooden roof. I listened, trying not to drown in too many thoughts again. The noises made it easier, they lulled me into a state of almost slumber in no time. Next to me the Master slipped out of his jacket and folded it neatly over his lap. I barely noticed it and wouldn't have paid it any more attention, but right then he suddenly grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me down until my head laid on the jacket.

On his lap.

"Huh? What the…?" Dumbfounded, I blinked upwards, then tried to get away, but he held me down by my wrist and shoulder. "Let go!" I whined. This was awkward. I squirmed in his grip, but he was relentless.

"You were falling asleep anyway." The Master grinned. "You can as well do it here."

"No, I didn't!" I scowled at him. "I'm not even awake that long. Why would I sleep?"

"Because the guma milk isn't nearly as strong as coffee and you always nod away whenever it gets too quiet for too long."

"Why do you know that? And it's not true! I wasn't sleepy."

"Liar.

"And even if… Let me up."

"Not a chance," he said firmly and his look turned dark within a second, menacing almost. A promise not to let me get away. Stay here or die. "Each time I left you out of sight you did something stupid. Like trying to remember and almost killing yourself with it. Or having a panic attack. Who knows what you might come up with next."

I stopped moving and just glared. But then I noticed how his eyes wandered to my chest, to the spot where the mark sat hidden under my clothes. His eyes found mine again and then, without a warning, I felt his mind touch mine. His hand on my wrist, his presence inside my head, guiding my awareness towards the faint not-glow the mark emanated.

I know you see it too. Take a nap. I'll keep an eye on it.

's not doing anything. I scrunched up my nose. I can-

You didn't mind last night. The smirk was as much visible as it was present in my head.

"That was different!" I groaned.

Vienna' s face came into view. Her hand lay on the gun, but she seemed undecided whether to draw it or not.

"Keep your weapon away, ape," snarled the Master. "I'm just playing with my pet a little."

"Didn't look like it. Let her go, she doesn't want it!"

Oh, oh, the human got angry.

I snorted. "Don't mock her. You know exactly how this looks."

I'm not mocking! She is completely in mommy mode, can't you see? Do you think she wants to adopt you?

"What? No! And I wouldn't let her! " I laughed, but stopped when I saw Vienna's confused face.

"Have you gone mad now, Lucy?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"I know what madness looks like." The Master giggled. "No, she's fine." He winked at me, then threw a mocking smile at the other woman. "You just missed half the conversation. That's all."

And with that he finally let go of my wrist and with the touch his presence in my mind also vanished. Had he talked in my mind the whole time? Somehow it was hard to recognize when I didn't pay close attention.

"That's… not hypnotism," said Vienna slowly. "I knew you could use it, but that's not…"

"Touch telepathy." The Master spread his fingers as if to show magic. "Hypnosis is barely more than a parlour trick. Simple suggestion to turn a weak mind."

"Show-off", I mumbled and tried once more to get up, only with the same result as before.

"Let her go," growled Vienna. The hand moved back to the gun.

"Oh, I'm not hurting her. She's just picky when it comes to pillows, aren't you, little one?"

"Fuck you."

The Master snickered. "Oh, I would. But we have company. And… well, you are sort of in the way right now."

I groaned, pressing my palms to my eyes, almost dropping the specs in the process. I did not deserve this, seriously. At least Vienna seemed to be somewhat at ease now. She moved back to her previous spot, not leaving the Master out of sight, however.

"Napping usually requires closed eyes, you know?" he commented.

"Shut up."

"Eh, I will. For once. And only because the silence is nice right now."

He carefully plucked my specs from my nose and hung it on his shirt, then leaned back with the most pleased smirk possible. And for some odd reason… I felt content, warm even.

So I finally followed his suggestion and let myself drift into a half slumber while the rain washed away the thoughts and worries. I didn't need extra ones. The Master gave me enough to worry about already.

Chapter 30: Part VI (IV)

"Ough! This rain sucks!" Vienna groaned. She poked her jacket that still dripped on the floor. Together with her pants. Some water had even gotten into her shoes. "And to make it worse, I'm stuck here with you of all people."

The Master only smirked. He hadn't moved much since he had practically forced the girl to take a nap. Almost as if he wanted to make sure she could actually get some time to process. Which would be very considerate and therefore absolutely impossible for him. Something was strange here.

"How long has it been since we last fought?" she asked. He would never outright tell her his plans, not unless he could be certain she wouldn't be able to sabotage them. But maybe he would let a few hints slip, just a fragment, something she could work with.

At first the Master didn't move, didn't indicate that he had even heard her. The rain drummed loudly on the wooden roof, but Vienna wasn't that quiet either. He had his eyes closed, hands folded on top of the girl's chest. A casual gesture, if not for the implications. He wouldn't let her leave.

Vienna blinked. It must have been an optical illusion. There, close to his hands the air looked a bit… darker. As if the light couldn't completely reach there. Very strange. But she didn't have time to think, because he finally started to talk.

"No idea. I floated…." The Master opened his eyes, not to look at her, but to glare at the ceiling. "The Time Lords eventually resurrected me for the Time War."

"Must be why you stopped annoying me."

He chuckled, but said nothing more.

"I heard of the Time War. Hard to believe it was even real, if you ask me. Ha! Best place to put a psychopath like you."

"Yeah."

That remained his only answer. Strange. No bragging about blowing up things and murdering countless. No, Vienna squinted her eyes, unsure what to make of it. The clouds only left diffuse and grey light, but it was enough to make out his features. And that look… it was haunted, filled with memories so horrifying that they even managed to disturbed someone like the Master. He glanced down, observing the sleeping girl in his lap, not really seeing her. He raised a hand as if to touch her face, but let it sink again, the look in his eyes getting even darker. Sad?

Something about him definitely had changed.

"You're not gonna hurt that kid, are you? I won't let you."

He huffed. "What for? That idiot is perfectly capable of doing that herself." His lips pressed together to a thin line of disapproval. "If I didn't take care all the time, she would have broken a long time ago." He sighed and again moved as if he wanted to touch her. And again he didn't.

There was pain in his eyes. Whatever happened here, it tormented him. That guy wore his stupid hearts on his sleeve. He didn't even try to hide anything. Vienna wondered if that was because he didn't care or because he didn't know.

"You love her," she muttered.

"No."

"Oh, don't lie. You're too obvious."

"It's not that," he grumbled. "It's more like… having a cat."

"Well, I always loved my pets. That's not an argument."

"Yours isn't."

"Still, you can't hide it. But seriously, what did you expect? That a normal human being would fall in love with an egotistical maniac like you? She'll run away as soon as you turn your back." She knew her assumption couldn't be true and this was a poor attempt at provocation, but it was just too tempting to find out why he acted the way he did.

The Master rolled his eyes and shook his head. To her surprise he actually answered and his voice dropped to something that clearly showed pain. "It's more like the opposite. I tried to push her away. It didn't work. And then something went a little… wrong and now she has lost half her memories… doesn't even know me anymore, except from textbooks."

"Oh, they certainly paint you in a great light."

He snorted. "And still… at the first chance the silly thing came running back. I should have killed her right then and be done with all of this."

"But you haven't."

"No." Again he raised his hand and this time he couldn't resist any longer and stroked softly along the sleeping face. "The threat is mutual, Salvatori. Harm her in any way and we won't be playing anymore. I will make sure you won't survive it."

"Gotcha."

Vienna shifted, the urge to spring up and just move got stronger with every second. He lied. He had to lie. There was no way he could be telling the truth. People like him don't change. And if it wasn't love he felt, then it had to be something else, something twisted for sure. She would have to keep an eye on them.

---

.

---

The rain with its monotonous sound managed to calm me like no words ever could and despite all of the anxiety and the fact that I hadn't even been  awake for that long, I slipped away quickly. The rain followed me, rushing down, down, down from the clouds above and into my dreams.

"What… do you think about staying? Here and there. I don't like to be on a run all the time."

Hope sparked in his eyes, doubt. It was on me to answer and I knew exactly what to say.

"We will make a deal, you and I." The Master held me closer, shielding me from the cold. "You help me find the drums and in return…"

He would make the pain go away. The gnawing, burning agony of loneliness that had haunted me for my whole life.

"So far you are the only person who doesn't run away from it. Everyone else got scared. They wouldn't let anyone intrude into their own mind. But not you."

No. It didn't scare me. Why would it? Here, I felt warm and safe, here I knew how it felt to be connected. Here…

Here there was nothing. No connection, no warmth. Only I lingered within my own mind, only myself with all the darkness that it held. All that black, swirling smoke that rose around me, engulfed me. It was everywhere, above, below, inside. Purple eyes watched me, leathery wings stretched to all sides, huge, no… tiny. Size had no concept in this space.

It wasn't enough. A scared squeak next to my ear, bright eyes searching for an answer, for recognition. I didn't know how to help the small creature.

And then everything slipped away, faded into nothingness, black, then colour. Sounds followed. The rain falling on wood, cloth rustling, boots tapping.

Right. I had fallen asleep for a moment. I could stay for a bit longer, despite the position I had been… convinced into. Gentle fingers stroked along my cheek. But I had to know if the shadows of my dreams held any meaning or were nothing else but creeping darkness. I turned a little to face him, looking up.

"There might have been a memory," I whispered. "I dreamed I promised to find those drums for you."

The Master stilled, looking down at me with an expression I couldn't name because my glasses still dangled from his shirt. But there was a shift in how he felt, a subtle change.

"You did," he said as quietly and swallowed. A huff, a smile. "To stop me from being so annoying."

I laughed at that and had no doubt that it was true. "Sounds correct."

"It stopped raining, you two!" Vienna made herself noticeable. "Stop the cuddles and let's move. Can't wait to get out of this highly stimulating company." She made some disgusted voice.

I sat up and shared a grin with the Master and then reached out to take my specs back. "You don't mind, do you?"

Oh, if looks could burn.

---

.

---

As predicted it took us several hours until we came near the mansion again. That wasn't too much of an issue, since neither of us knew if it would be of any use to be there at all. The Master only insisted because that was his base of operation and because he would be able to build a new perception filter.

They bickered here and there, but seemed to get tired of it, eventually. Then Vienna told me about the Chronovore and the Atraxi and the role the Master had played in those stories. He turned out to be as much of a menace as you would expect and none of his defences made it any better.

I had fun listening to those stories. Of course they had something awful in them, but I couldn't help but giggle at the image in my head of the Master with a pulse gun, shooting Daleks as if it was a sport.

Noon came and we got food from a fast food booth. Some hot sausage with a spicy sauce. It reminded me of something I had eaten in Germany once, but there it had been rather bland compared to this dish.

We were lucky with the weather. For the rest of our trip the sky stayed clear and no more rain fell. A bit of bad luck caught us anyway, the screens of various public tellies showed our faces. Someone had spotted the Master and had given the pictures to the press. He shrugged it off, mumbling something about decimating everyone who would try to stop him; from what exactly he wouldn't tell.

Soon the mansion came into sight and now it would only take us maybe ten minutes to get to the monument and then inside. Silently, I sighed in relief. All that walking had made me tired. Especially without coffee.

"Say, Lucy, I wanted to ask you the whole time already, but…"

"But what?" I turned my head away from the sight of the crumbled and burnt pantheon and looked at Vienna. "I don't really have secrets. Ask away."

"He said you've lost memories." She thumped at the Master who was a few steps ahead. "What did he do?"

"Oh. Mhm… I'm not too sure about the details, to be honest. I had some of his life force. He took it back and then… stuff happened."

"Stuff that was never meant to happen," the Master growled, slowing down to let us catch up.

"As if." Vienna snorted. "Just admit that you needed some means to manipulate her better."

No, that wasn't it. The moments after my resurrection lingered as vividly in my mind as they could. He had shown all sorts of behaviours, all of them stupid and mean and defensive. Hadn't I come here on my own accord, he might have even left for good without ever speaking to me again.

That thought stung.

"It wasn't that," I said, before he could.

"How would you know?" Vienna whined. "He manipulates people left, right and centre, every chance there is."

"Yeah." I glanced up at him and he made no move to speak up for himself. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips, taunting me. "But he made it pretty obvious that he doesn't want me anywhere near him, unless I could pose the danger of letting a void gap open up around us. Or unless I agree to dig through his head to get rid of a certain something. Am I right?"

The not-yet smile dropped.

"A void hole?" Vienna repeated. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Just the reason he wanted to keep an eye on me, 's all. Could be the reason we're still alive." I never let the Master out of sight when I said all of it. I knew I couldn't believe him, so all the niceness so far had to be for something. And he certainly wouldn't tell me.

The Master huffed and shook his head, smiling again. "You don't trust me. What a pity."

All those hours of walking and thinking and piece by piece the puzzle had formed a coherent picture.

"Why would I? All I know speaks against you and people always want something if they are nice. I've got nothing to offer you. I'm sure the Doctor can find those drums just as well and there's nothing else special about me."

My own words hurt, but they were the truth. Not a single time in my life had it happened that anyone wanted me near them, except if they gained something from it. And since an ancient and powerful being like him could impossibly benefit in any form…

"He could, yes," the Master admitted calmly. "He never agreed to it, though." He folded his arms and glared at me, frowning. "And when he finally did… it almost broke him. And not in a way I'd be happy with. You're not affected like that. And it's not as if you wouldn't get anything in return."

"Hate to be interrupting, girls, but…" We both ignored Vienna.

"I get nothing! All you do is pretend to care and as soon as I look away you'll push me away again! Or use me as bait for something. Or… I don't know what. I don't know if I want to know."

The Master shook his head, holding his hands up in defiance. "You're getting this wrong, little light."

"And stop calling me that." I sighed and gnawed on my bottom lip. There was nothing light about me. "There's way more darkness in me than light."

The smirk was back. Knowing. "And you're still wrong. You just can't remem-"

"Then tell me!" I snapped. "How can I be who I'm supposed to be when no one tells me?"

There was silence for a moment. Not even the assassin dared to speak a word. The Master went completely still, watching me, calculating. He stepped closer and tipped a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

"It was you who insisted on not knowing. And for all the right reasons."

"Yes. Yes, I know. But it's too much. I can't… I just can't. I don't know who I have to be. I don't know who you've been to me. We could have been friends, I could have hated your guts. What if I do it wrong this time? What if I do the exact opposite of what used to be?"

"I don't care," he deadpanned, his look serious, boring into mine. I couldn't look away, no matter how uncomfortable it felt.

"You're all about power and control," I muttered, then scoffed. "You have the chance to literally turn me into whatever you want to have. No hypnotism needed."

He hummed softly. "That is exactly what I don't want. I need you to be you. Not some mask, not some programming. If you end up liking or hating me doesn't matter at all, as long as it's genuine." He cupped my face, sliding his thumbs over my cheeks. "I'd be alright with whatever you choose. You are stubborn, you think about people whatever you want and no matter what others tell you. Do that. Just be you. That little, messed up, twisted thing you are. Be that. Just that. That's all I want. That's the person I fe-"

"Master!"

Vienna's scream rang through the air together with the ear piercing shot. Dust splashed upwards from the ground. The Master winced and shoved me away, just in time for another bullet to hit the spot I had just occupied.

"They saw us!" The head hunter held her hands up, facing a small crowd of people "Hey, don't shoot me, I'm here to arrest him!"

"Coward," growled the Master.

The people screamed something, but I still couldn't understand them. The Master spoke up and they seemed to at least try and listen to what he told them, whatever that was. He did his best and used his most charming voice while I counted. Eight, maybe ten people stood between us and the manor.

I heard a click. Cold metal pressed against my temple. My breath caught in my throat, my body froze.

"Oh no, you don't!"

The Master whirled around and shoved me out of the way, shoving the person with the gun to the ground. Voices got louder, screams, demands. They were furious. The Master pushed me behind him and enough to the side that I could see what happened. No one looked happy, but they let us slowly back away.

Another shot rang so close to my ear that it left a high pitched beep. I raised my hands up and… the Master stumbled forward a step, then crumbled to the ground.

Perplexed and confused I glared at the heap in front of me. The laser screwdriver fell from his hand and blood pooled out from underneath him. Red, red, so much red. People screamed. Another shot, hitting nothing. No, no, no, I could not panic now, could not hide. I forced my body to move, pushed everything to the back of my mind and dropped to my knees.

The Master was still breathing. He groaned when I touched his shoulder, but barely moved.

"Get away from him!" a man called.

I didn't listen. There it was, the bullet hole. Right through one of his hearts. He coughed up blood. Probably also a lung. His eyes flickered open, barely seeing me. "Run," he ground out. More red. It was all I could see. I couldn't do anything. I didn't know how. He would die.

"Get away from him or die too!" someone else shouted, but I didn't move.

Another shot rang through the air and threw me backwards. Pain, somewhere. My shoulder. Aimed to warn, maybe? Don't panic, don't run, don't stop. It wasn't that bad, barely hurt. Vienna came out of nowhere, grabbed me from behind and heaved me back to my feet.

"Let's get away from here."

"No," I mumbled.

I wouldn't leave him here. It didn't matter who he was and what he had done. I would not… I couldn't. Another shot, two more. I stumbled forward, dropped to the ground to grab the laser screwdriver. The metal felt strangely warm in my hand, humming, vibrating, responding to my touch.

"Get away!" I shouted, aiming the laser at the crowd.

"He will die!" A woman screamed. The crowd went wild. Shot after shot. Some in the air, some close to me.

No choice. No way out. I gripped the screwdriver harder, letting the pulse inside guide me. "I don't know if you're worth dying for," I whispered to the Master. His eyes widened. Still responsive. I raised the laser and for a second there was a hint of fear on his face.

Pain pierced my arm and I cried out in shock. Enough! Enough! I would not let him die here! I aimed, pressed a button.

One person fell. The crowd went silent. Salvatori shouted something, but I ignored her. The next raised gun dropped to the ground together with its owner when I pressed the button once more. My hand shook. This wasn't enough. It wasn't. Too much blood. Pain. Red, hot, searing pain. The laser screwdriver thrummed in my hand and I knew… felt what I had to do. A twist of one ring, more shots, blood, shouts. Vienna grabbed me by the shoulders, but I slipped out. "I'm not leaving him!" And aimed once again, on the ground, shooting. The beam ripped open the cobblestone, flames, an explosion of splinters. People stumbled backwards. A line of fire, drawn in the ground, hot, hot, burning, until they fled.

The laser burned a flaming wall into the ground, letting the small crowd panic and flee. They took one, two… no, three dead bodies with them.

"Shit! Lucy! What have you…?!"

I let the laser sink, breathing out, shaking. This wasn't over yet. I dropped to my knees and tried to heave the Master from the ground. The bleeding had lessened, but I had no idea if that was a good thing. He was still breathing, I felt a pulse. Weak, but there. "Help me get him somewhere safe," I said to Vienna. When she didn't budge I aimed the laser screwdriver at her chest. "I don't fucking care about any argument you have, right now. Help me!"

Vienna licked over her lips and finally moved, helping me to drag the Master towards the mansion and towards a bunch of his soldiers who hurried towards us. The whole commotion couldn't have lasted longer than a few minutes. They never had enough time to reach us.

"You're just as insane as him," she ground out, heaving the Time Lord over her shoulder.

"I don't care." I didn't lower the weapon. She had every reason to let him die and I wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't…

Couldn't…

Couldn't think.

The laser screwdriver felt so heavy all of a sudden, the world lost its colour and turned sideways, slipping away into a haze of blackness. I felt arms catching my fall. And then nothing more.

Notes:

Weeeeell... shit...

Chapter 31: Part VI (V)

I couldn't have been out for long. When I regained consciousness the soldiers still walked, just sitting me down on a wide sofa. One leaned closer to inspect my wounds, but shot up as soon as he saw my eyes open. I counted five or six people buzzing about in the room. They had another priority.

A sting in my shoulder made me wince; the arm hurt too, but not as bad. Pain radiated to my back, so the bullet had gone completely through. How strange, I always thought this would hurt more. Maybe it was the adrenalin.

No time to process. Where was the Master? What sort of room was this anyway? Shelves lined the walls, all of them filled to the brim with books and trinkets. A large desk stood proud in the middle of an expensive carpet; notes and open documents littered the surface, a pen, carelessly left behind on scribbles of round symbols.

I only had seconds to take everything in, then Vienna stumbled inside, still helping with carrying the Time Lord and flanked by another pair of soldiers who trained their weapons on her, following every movement.

"Don't you have somewhere else to put him?" she asked. "A med bay of sorts? And is there a doctor around? I have no clue how Time Lord bodies work." Vienna almost carefully dropped the Master down on the sofa I had occupied just moments before. "Not that I'd help him anyway. And put those guns down, for fucks sake!"

"Keep them up," I mumbled and met her gaze. "But don't harm her!" I added as an afterthought. They weren't hypnotised, but I had no clue how far their loyalty would go. And I had no authority over them and also…

They… listened.

Surprised, I watched as they exchanged looks and kept their weapons up before two turned to the Master. He laid on his back, clothes drenched in the wet sheen of fresh blood. His breath came in shallow bursts, rattling painfully through his ruptured lungs. Someone came into the room, kneeling down next to him with a stethoscope and a bag. Blood dripped down to the ground. Not much, but it didn't stop, didn't get less.

The Master's eyes snapped open, he gasped and tried to curl together, but instead just groaned in pain. The other man tried to hold him down, struggling in vain because the Time Lord was too strong, even hurt like he was.

"Hey, hey! He'll help you. Let him!" I begged.

A gurgle of blood came as an answer. His eyes flickered, a sliver of recognition? The Master tried to say something, but nothing but red foam came over his lips.

"There is nothing I can do for him," said the doctor. "The lung ruptured and one of his hearts got shot through. No one can heal that."

Nothing I didn't know already. And as if to agree with him, the Master arched his back, writhing and crying out with pain. A small cloud of mist emanated from the shot in his chest, hovering there like a threat. My mouth dropped open, admiring the mesmerising spectacle. Each particle glowed in a slightly different colour, melting together in a golden hue, like the magic of old forgotten times.

But this was no magic at all.

He would die.

He would die and I could do absolutely nothing about it. More blood, golden mist and a groan of pain. He gasped out more particles and even his skin seemed to glow now.

No, no, no! It couldn't end like that! I knelt down next to him and grabbed his head, pressing my forehead to his, trying to reach him somehow. Just somehow. Let me do something, anything. Don't die, don't die, don't die! I begged those words, pressed them against him like a prayer and-

Pain. It seared through every vein in my body the moment our minds clicked together. Not my pain, his. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Everything drowned in red until the flickering light of… mind. Mine. He clung to it. A life line that lead nowhere and still he couldn't cease his grip of it.

Go away! he screamed. Run, run away! I will burn you!

But I couldn't. I fought through his pain and through my own desperation, pushing it all away until the only thing that dared to remain was… darkness. Its all consuming, thick tendrils wound around us, squeezed without touching, swallowed without moving. Black smoke swallowed the world, rising up to dark towers of never thundering clouds. I didn't have it in me to look up, didn't dare to even wonder what might have happened, because deep down I had hoped that this here would be real. The dreams of this place, the moment under the table when the world had collapsed over our heads.

The black-purple glow on my chest.

And the tiny dragon with the same colours that now landed on my shoulder and rubbed my cheek with a happy squeak. Its touch sent an emotion through me, faint, yet noticeable. The joy of reunion. It knew me and I probably had known it too at some point.

"I'm sorry, little one," I whispered. "I don't remember you."

The fletchling made another small noise, a not so happy one, this time. First it tipped its nose against me, then it flapped down on the Master's chest. The particle clouds had vanished and with it every glow, gold or colourful alike. Even the bleeding had stopped, the liquid hanging in the air, suspended red drops, floating in a foreboding mist of promised death.

Time did not exist in this place. The real world could move on and we would not change. But I also knew we couldn't exist here for very long. Because eventually, I did look up and what I saw let my heart freeze. There, at the far end of this place that refused to know of even the thought of distances, barely at the jagged edge of existence itself, rose timeless, ancient beings of cyclopean size into the blackness, slowly, barely moving without the flow of time to tell them what speed might be, wandering, hunting. Beings as old as the first dream that bore reality, existing since the very idea of beginning, since before the very concept of time.

And they saw me.

"What do I do?" I whispered towards the little dragon. "I don't understand anything. And if I bring him back, he'll die."

Could it even understand anything I said? The small thing definitely looked as if it was thinking about something and I felt a questioning tug at my mind. Maybe I could project something myself? I closed my eyes, trying to forget about the looming shadows in the distance and conjuring up my fear about losing the Master, an image of all the blood he had lost and the wounds that killed him.

There was a squeak and I opened my eyes again. Dread creeped up my spine, shadows moved in the corners of my field of vision. The dragonling jumped up and down on the Master's chest, then sat on its hind legs, bending its neck backwards and… a small drop of something bright and orange shot out of the snout and landed where the blood soaked hole stared at us, forebodingly.

I didn't know what this meant, but no choice remained. Already I could feel the darkness closing in, swore I could feel the brush of a deep black wing that wasn't supposed to exist. Shaking, I exhaled and bent down to reach for the Master's hands. Immediately the colourful particles returned, they engulfed him, spreading from the heart to his whole upper body, then his head.

Connection. It had to work. Breathe. Slip away. Embrace eternity, accept reality.

Someone screamed. Light pierced my eyes. Around us, the void retreated, collapsing into a bubble of black tentacles and then fading out of our reality. The colours and the gold still lingered. The Master glowed, his skin was hot where I held his hands. My gaze wandered to his chest and the dragon's gift on it. The red drop melted into the Time Lord's chest and burned. Gasping I shot backwards, fearing for the worst. But the flame didn't spread, it only blazed under his skin, dancing… cauterizing! Of course! Perplexed, I stared at the tiny flame until it died down, leaving nothing but slightly seared clothes.

The Master gasped and opened his eyes. His breath came raspy, but it came. He could breathe!

"Are you better!" I asked. Had his hair gotten lighter?

He laid a hand over his dead heart, wincing. Slowly and with an expression that told of tremendous pain, he sat up, glaring at me with a mixture of disbelief and confusion. No one else in the room moved.

"What… have you…?" He groaned. "Ough, that burns."

"I… I don't know. I just.. I really don't know."

The Master collapsed backwards, coughing and wheezing. "Not enough… I'm… still dying. Fuck. Piss off. All of you!" The shout out was followed by a cry of pain and another coughing fit.

The soldiers left immediately, but I stayed, unwilling to just vanish, now that I knew he was at least out of the biggest danger. Or so I hoped. The head hunter also made no move.

"You summoned something," she said, dumbfounded.

"Void." The Master got himself under control and sat back up, albeit with a lot of effort. Some of the golden glow still lingered around his head, or so I thought at first, but then I realized that he really had gotten lighter. Quite a bit. "This won't help for long. I need… need. There's… in the bathroom."

"What's there?" I asked.

"Why's he blond now?" asked Vienna, as if that was the most important thing right now.

"Who cares?" I groaned.

The Master's eyes wandered upwards, but of course he couldn't see. His hair was too short for that. "In the cabinet," he explained instead. "Green capsules and the… hnhngg… oof… the syringe and the… you'll find it."

Every word seemed to hurt him, so I rushed into the next room and rummaged through the cabinet behind the mirror. The named items were there and also a glass vial with some orange fluid inside and a cap that was made to stick a needle inside. I simply hoped it was all he needed and hurried back, almost stumbling when I looked ahead, not awaiting the sight that would greet me.

Vienna stood in front of the Master, her gun trained against his forehead. The weapon glowed in its electric blue light, humming softly. A contrast to the death it might bring. My breath caught in my throat and I slipped a hand into my hoodie pocket, relieved to find the laser screwdriver still there. I couldn't remember having put it anywhere, but right now I didn't care and fished it out, shooting at the ground right next to Vienna's feet.

The woman jumped and hurled around, her eyes widening, the gun not leaving its place. "Why are you defending him! I could rid the universe of one of the cruelest monsters!" she hissed.

The Master wheezed out a weak laugh. "Coward. Just do it."

"No!" I stepped closer, not leaving her out of sight. "Just no."

"Why not!"

Yes, why not? My gaze wandered to the Master. A twitch of fear crossed his face. There were more reasons against letting him live than for it, that for sure. And yet, the moment he had almost died… something had simply snapped inside of me. And I still felt it, the rising panic, the blinding fear, my pulse quickened, my grip on the laser got tighter.

"Leave him alone," I said, my voice shaky.

I had no answer. Maybe I never would.

All I knew was that I couldn't lose him and that spurred me on more than anything ever had. In my entire life there had never been a single thing that had made me act like this. Not once.

Until now.

I didn't need any memories to know that this meant something. "Get away from him."

Finally, Vienna powered off her gun and stepped back, not without casting a venomous glare at the Time Lord. "If she's hypnotized to do this, I swear you will die the most painful death I can come up with."

The Master laughed and coughed, holding his chest in pain without stopping. "She isn't." His breath rattled, leaving him no choice but to calm down. His eyes bore into mine as I approached with the meds. "Hilarious… little thing you."

"Shut up." I tried to give him a scowl. I really did. But this stupid boyish grin didn't fail on me, even with all the blood on him.

He poked his tongue out and took all the supplies from me. The vials seemed to be the right ones, so he stuck a needle inside and drew some of the orange fluid, then injected it into his arm, grimacing. Next he swallowed some of the green pills, almost coughing them up again, but he managed. "Help me up," he demanded.

What else could I do? Sure, I wasn't the strongest person, but I did what I could to get him to the bathroom where he splashed some water in his face to wash away the blood, then he nodded towards another door and together we hobbled towards it. Vienna followed close behind, but left her weapon in its holster.

It was a bedroom. Although one that didn't look as if anyone had ever made use of it. The single bed looked untouched, as did the desk in a corner and even the shelves with files and folders. No pictures anywhere, nothing to indicate whom this room might belong to. It probably was the reason he had chosen it.

"Ssss od clos in… mhmh… that one."

"Whus?" I looked up at him and the Master glared at a wardrobe.

"Clothes," he repeated, his voice sounding strangely dragging. "Is toooo much lod… uh… red stuff."

He let go of me and stumbled over to rip open the doors and grab a black jumper. Without another word he slipped out of his jacket and shirt, flashing his bare, blood smeared back for a moment before covering it up again. The wound looked bad, really bad.

"Better." The Master turned around and leaned with his back against the wardrobe, penetrating me with a stare. "Thaaaat…" He coughed. "Pills, stuff… sedatives, mild hallucinogen… not for me, but ah uh… helps sleep." He ran a hand over his face. "Lucy, listen." I stepped closer, nodding. "I can do… a healing coma, 's a Time Lord… thing. I will sleeeeep. Deep as a dead… dead thing. Will look like it. But I'm not, yeah?"

I nodded. "And that will help you heal?"

The Master nodded. "I hope sssso… 'm still dying. Inner bleed. I can feeeel it. Listen, listen, little one." His voice regained a little firmness. "I won't die. Don't worry. Don't be fooled."

"O… okay." He swayed a little and I grabbed him to help walk over to the bed. "How long will this take? Can I… check somehow? To make sure."

"Mhmmm… weak pulse 's always there." He swayed some more and I had trouble holding him. But right then he let go on his own and turned to face me, his eyes hazy, but the rest of him… he looked at me as if I were the most fascinating creature he had ever seen. "Silly little thing," he said and cradled my cheeks. "You're… best… the best thing." And then he just leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, warm and trembling and I froze, way too perplexed to react.

The Master retreated only seconds later, collapsing on the bed. He stayed conscious just long enough to properly roll on his back and then stopped moving all together.

Notes:

Mhm... I think my inner Lovecraft slipped out for a second. Couldn't resist 🤣

Also, I know I barely have any readers, but I still want to recommend a few stories from now on anyways.
I simply think more people should read them, so go ahead and have a look ;D

This week I'll start with my all time favorite Intertwined by CrossMyHearts
It features the very rare Rose/Master pairing, but in a very interesting way. The story plays during the year that never was and focuses heavily on telepathic shenanigans (yes, it was a huge inspiration). Not many stories ever sucked in me like this one did. (There are also sequels, which get a bit spicier later on ;D )

Chapter 32: Part VI (VI)

Notes:

Nothing much happens in this chapter. But therefore you'll get lots of fluff in the next one ;D
And also:
An early Merry Christmas to all of you! ❤❤❤❤

Vienna stared at me. She had followed us inside, one hand once again on her gun. "What… was that? What the hell?"

Dumbfounded, I blinked and then shook my head. "Uh… the drugs? He err… was a bit out of it there."

Her stare unnerved me, but it also kept me from running a finger over my lips. Right where he had kissed me. It had happened way too fast for me to react and now that it slowly sank in my heart did a strange little flip that it definitely wasn't supposed to do. He had been confused. That was it. There was nothing more to it. Why else would he do that? He had no reason for it and he hated humans anyway.

"Mhm sure… you're blushing."

I winced and turned away. "Shut up. And don't dare to do anything stupid. I'll stay here and hold watch."

Vienna didn't appear to be a bad person and she had all the right reasons to do what she wanted to do. The universe would be a better place without the Master in it.

But not for me.

I had spent decades trying to be who others wanted me to be, shaping myself after their view of what was right and wrong. No one ever gave me anything in return. And then there was the Master. This total prick with not even an ounce of consciousness, whose very definition of fun was to burn down places and rule and kill people left and right whenever. Of all people… he was the only one who wanted me. The real me. Not some mask, not some performance. Just me.

I knew this was selfish. I knew this was wrong. But I dragged a chair over and sat down in front of the bed anyway, the laser screwdriver in my hands, glaring up at the assassin. "You'll have to kill me first."

She sighed, running a hand through her long blond hair. "I guess, no one will die then. I swore to only take on targets who deserve their death. And you…" She looked me up and down. "I'm still not convinced you're acting on your own will. And if you do… well, it seems you might have your reasons for it."

"Probably," I murmured. "Can't remember them. He's my only way to get those memories back. I think. The Doctor was no help at all. Wish I could call him somehow. I don't… I hoped… he would come. Wouldn't he? You know him, right?"

"Yeah. We've met a few times. Didn't he give you anything? A tracker or at least a phone or anything?"

I shook my head. "No one dared to face the Master. He and Donna thought all of this here was on purpose. The flames…" I took a breath, remembering. "He didn't cause them. Just wanted to watch. But the Doctor took it all the wrong way. To be fair, we all did."

"Wait, so you came alone?" Although I was quite impaired when it came to reading faces, hers clearly said something like are you fucking nuts? "Why did the Doctor let you?"

"Cause 't was his idea." Perplexed silence. "He thought the Master wouldn't hurt me. I… don't know why."

"Definitely seems to be true." Vienna stared at the unconscious Time Lord.

All of his behaviour made no sense. The threats, followed by the more gentle side. Was all of it fake? In the end, it didn't matter that much. He just had to stay alive and I would find out. One way or the other.

Would I really be able to watch over him? Now that I sat down, my lids got heavier by the second, all the excitement pushed down on me, all the fear left me exhausted. But I couldn't let Vienna out of sight. I couldn't risk it.

"I tried to die," I eventually muttered. Talking might keep me awake. "He saved me, that's why he gave me a piece of his own life. Literally, if I got it right… and…" My head got a little dizzy too. I just wanted to sleep, just wanted the pain to stop.

What pain?

The world went dark around me, drowning in dancing black flakes in front of my eyes. I barely noticed sliding from the chair and landing on the ground, blood rushed through my ears as loud as if I would stand next to a waterfall and cold shivers ran through my body.

Vienna's voice barely rang through to me. Somehow I moved, got dragged. I remembered to struggle, but my body didn't obey me any longer. My tongue didn't allow me to form words, laying in my mouth like a dead snake. It took a while, but eventually the white noise calmed down and other noises made their way to my ears again.

"...n't you say they got you too?" Vienna's face came into view, the haze slowly fading. "It's not too much blood, you're lucky. But still… let me see what else that guy has in his drug cabinet."

And with that she vanished.

Blood? Oh, right. The shot through my shoulder. And the one that had grazed my arm. The shock must have numbed the pain until now. I reached up to the wound and winced at the touch. The bullet had gone straight through my clothes… and skin… and maybe bone? Had I even bones there? I moved the shoulder, trying to discern where my shoulder blade sat. The movement shot more pain through me, but it was actually quite bearable.

"Don't move so much," scolded Vienna. "You'll just widen the wound."

"Doesn't even bleed that much." I pursued my lips. "Stupid body. That collapse was an overreaction."

"Don't play tough." Carefully she inspected the hole, lifting up a scrap of cloth. "I don't think it hit anything important, you're lucky."

If that was the case… I stood up and at least tried to get past her and back into the bedroom. The laser screwdriver was still in there, if I could get it fast enough…

Vienna grabbed my arm. "Hey! Don't run off!"

"Let go!"

"Like hell I will!"

I struggled against her grip and tried to tear my arm away, but her strength far exceeded my own. Vienna drew me back, so, in a desperate attempt, I tried to head butt her.

No success.

"Stop struggling, you idiot. I'm trying to help."

"Yeah, by shooting him, if I let you, let me go!"

To my surprise, she really did and I stumbled away, not thinking about it. The other room was only some steps away and there it lay. The laser. I swiped it up from the floor and hurled around, only to see that Vienna hadn't moved an inch. No, she only stood there with an amused smirk on her face, waiting patiently for me to walk back, clutching my only weapon.

"You know," Vienna said. "I was making fun of him before, in the park when you napped. But the longer this… thing here is going on, I think I might have been on to something."

"What're you talking about?" I grumbled, then nodded to the other end of the room. "Over there. I don't think you can shoot from that angle."

"Wasn't going to anyway."

I glared at the woman, hoping it was clear that I didn't believe a word.

"No really. You're so protective, I want to find out why. Can I get to that wound now? It won't kill you now, but a bullet drags all sorts of dirt inside, grime and pieces of cloth and stuff. You don't want to get an infection and die from that, do you?"

Grumbling, I sat down on a chair and let her help me to get out of my upper clothes. Raising my arms so high hurt like hell and I clenched my teeth, suppressing a pained noise. Vienna leaned down to clean the blood with some cotton and alcohol. That hurt even more, but I knew she was right, it needed cleaning, so I endured the torture for as long as it lasted and gladly accepted Vienna's help with getting a bandage around the shoulder, before she examined my arm.

"You've done that a lot, haven't you?" I mumbled.

"Comes with the job." She grinned. "Have been wounded more times than I can count. And patched up at least as many." I hissed when she put alcohol on my arm. That wound was only minor, but she treated it anyway. "How about you? Other people would have reacted far worse to being shot. You don't seem the type, though. For getting into danger, I mean."

I grunted and shook my head. "No, definitely not. I'm useless in dangerous situations. Hate them anyway."

"Mhm… But you were with the Doctor?"

"Uh, yeah."

"It's just that he usually picks people that are a little more on the adventurous side themselves. From what I've heard. And the ones I've met."

I lowered my head, shame bubbled up from some place deep inside of me. Being not enough, that happened all the time, but it never stopped hurting. "Then maybe he lied about me being safe and actually wanted to get rid of me," I mumbled. "Wouldn't be the first time people do a thing like that."

"Oh, not the Doctor. He's too much of a do-gooder. I'll see if I find a way to contact him. If he really didn't dare to come here then now would be a good time. The baddy's down and the world's safe again."

"Don't do anything to him," I whispered. When push came to shove, I knew there would be nothing I could actually do to stop her. I was weak, slow, and had no combat experience. All I got was this laser screwdriver. But what good would it be if she was faster?

"Maybe it's good I didn't." Vienna sighed. "Now that I think about it, something's very wrong here."

"What do you mean?"

She crossed her arms and hummed, contemplating. "I don't believe it was actually the Master himself who gave me that contract."

"Huh? But you said…"

"He wasn't blond. The one I've met."

Right. That certainly would have been a detail to at least mention, or, in her case, mock him about.

I blinked. "It… might be a temporary thing? He didn't seem too bothered about it." That or the dying part had taken his priority.

Vienna looked in the direction of the bedroom, thinking for a while. I watched her face, the wrinkles, age and adventures had left there. She might have been in her forties maybe. The blond hair made her look younger, probably dyed anyway. I wondered for how many years she lived like this now and also what made her tick the way she did.

"You killed people too," I let her in on parts of my thoughts. "By contract yeah, but that's better how?"

Vienna looked back at me, raising an eyebrow. "Like I said, I only take on targets who deserve it."

"By whose standards?"

That threw her off guard. She stared at me for half a minute before quietly starting to laugh. "Oh, you're a clever one, aren't you?"

"Not really. 'S just a maybe too logical mind. Doesn't answer my question."

Her eyes twinkled, her lips stayed in a smile. "It's pretty obvious who the bad guys are, don't you think?"

"No? Why would that be obvious? What if you only see or know about one side of them? What if the bad stuff they do causes good stuff in the long run? What if you just misinterpret?"

Vienna glared at me, not with a bad expression. She simply seemed… dumbstruck. As if that question had either been the stupidest thing she had ever heard or the opposite and she had never thought about it like this.

"You don't need to defend him, you know? I won't murder the Master in his sleep."

It hadn't been a defense! Okay, maybe a little. "It wasn't… about him. I mean with everyone. How do you decide how someone is bad enough to deserve death?"

Vienna shrugged and suddenly smiled. "I simply try to keep the casualties down. One person dies, a hundred live? That's a win in my book. And maybe," she rose from her chair, "you should remember the sheer number of people whose blood are on his hands."

I stared at the ground, not quite sure what to make of this. "How does that work?" I muttered. "How do you see faces and people behind it? Those numbers… they are huge, yeah, but it feels like it's just… data in my head." Somewhere a war wages. The news tells you of the hundreds and maybe thousands of people dying each day. Each of them had a face, a story, and all life lost. It's impossible to ever see them all, remember them all, see more than a number on a screen. "How am I supposed to feel anything? And how am I supposed to hate the only one who ever respected me as a person and not as a pretty mask? How, Vienna?"

The assassin just looked at me for a long while. Then she shook her head and walked away. "I don't know. But I see why he likes you."

Notes:

And here is the recommendation for the week.
pocket change by 2manyboys
It's a Thoschei story with some interesting ideas and twists. But what makes it special to me is that the author manages to create a really interesting atmosphere with their writing. I don't think I could properly explain it, but it just has this certain something. A sort of calm, thoughtful atmosphere.
Also some cool references to gallifreyan culture (always love that)

Chapter 33: Part VI (VII)

Notes:

Did someone say fluff?

Also, happy new year to everyone! I hope the next one will bring lots of good things for y'all!

Hours dragged by. The Master stayed in his coma, looking as dead as a corpse. Just as he had described. Sometimes I felt for his pulse and after the third or fourth time I realized what was weird about it. It was supposed to feel different, but only one single pulse slowly thudded against the pad of my finger. One heart, the other one literally broken.

I could do nothing to help and the thought crossed my mind what I was even supposed to do if he didn't get better. Would I be able to drag him back into the void? Without having the faintest idea how that had happened in the first place? And would that even help? Or would the eldritch creatures inside that place devour us long before I could come up with something useful?

So all that was left to do for me was to sit on the ground, in front of the bed and wait. Keep watch.

It got harder to think the more time dragged by. The sun set, outside the sounds of people died down. There had been a small revolt outside. People protested because they had seen what had happened there. And now they wanted blood. The Master's soldiers all stood outside, guarding the building.

But that was a problem for tomorrow.

"You look like shit."

I blinked my eyes open and looked up, meeting a disheveled face, but one that was awake and definitely alive. The Master didn't sit up, if anything he had barely managed to roll over onto his stomach to look down and… taunt me.

Bugger.

I smiled up at him. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

A grin spread on his face. It still looked a bit pained, but genuine. "Been worse, believe me." His voice was raspy, but steady. A good sign, I hoped.

He somewhat sat up and reached over to grab the water bottle from the nightstand, taking some careful sips, but wincing every time he had to swallow. One hand lay on his chest, pressing lightly against it as if to ease the pain the water caused, rushing by so close to his healing lungs. He didn't manage to drink much before he lowered the bottle, wheezing and coughing, gritting his teeth in pain.

I shot to my feet, taking the bottle from him and watched helplessly. "What can… I have no idea how to help," I confessed.

"You can't." The cough stopped and the Master took a few careful, deeper breaths, groaning and scrunching up his nose. "Stars, I need a shower!"

"You don't smell." I raised a brow. "Which is unfair by the way. Don't Time Lords have sweat glands?"

"Didn't do much sweating," the Master said and carefully laid down again. "I don't like to smell all that blood."

"No?" I couldn't help the sarcasm. "Thought that was your turn-on."

He chuckled, dropping his head face down against the mattress next to mine and for a second I had to fight down the urge to pat him.Somehow I managed. Pain made him stop, the laugh died down to another cough and he fisted his hands in his hair, groaning, then chuckling again, muffled against the cloth. His agony radiated outwards, hitting me like a psychic wave, far stronger than my usual empathy would pick up, or maybe I simply had never been close to someone who had witnessed that amount of pain.

I couldn't bear it and sat up on my knees, laying my hands over his and lowering my forehead, touching him, not knowing what it actually was I did there and still hoping it might bring at least some comfort. It felt strange, willingly touching another person like that. I didn't smell any blood, only noticed that his hair was strangely soft.

The Master shifted slightly underneath me and eventually took my hands to gently move them aside. He glared up at me, his look tired, yet determined to carry a dark undertone. It had something intense, a warning, a plea. "I will break you," he muttered, and I was sure he didn't know himself if that was supposed to be a threat or a cry for help.

I glared at him, his Hazel eyes that burned right into me, at his mouth that was slightly open, his hands that held me in a firm, yet gentle grip. My gaze wandered back to his lips and I leaned away, banishing every thought that had dared to form. Words. He had said something. I should respond to those. They were supposed to scare me, weren't they? And would he? Would he break me into millions of blood red pieces until my old self was no longer recognisable?

It didn't matter. I tiredly smiled, poking my tongue out. "That's okay. But first get better, yeah? Right now you're not much of a villain."

His eyes widened slowly, a trickle of amusement seeped into them, washing away the subtle horror that had settled there before. Did he fear rejection or was he truly afraid of hurting me too much? The Master breathed out a huff, then wrinkled his nose and glared at me.

"What?" I asked. "It's true, innit?"

"You smell of blood too."

"Oh… uh, yeah."

With a speed and strength he shouldn't even possess right now, the Master shot up and grabbed my arm, dragging me half up onto the mattress. I didn't even struggle, too perplexed and also too tired to really react. The Master bent over me and opened the zipper of my hoodie halfway down, then grabbed the cloth of my shirt at the collar and tore it down until the bandage came into sight.

It was only then that I came back to my senses, but I also realised that he had no intention of hurting me. The shock and fear he radiated made me reconsider and so I settled for calming him down. "Vienna patched it up," I said instead of scolding him for the rough treatment. "'S not that bad. Bullet went right through."

The Master let out a strangled breath, burying his face in one hand, trembling. He was so pale, half a corpse and still so fierce. For a moment there it had looked as if he almost started crying and when he looked back at me a wet sheen remained, blinked away in a second.

"Don't do that," he rasped out. "You see danger and you run!"

Oh, those wide eyes, that slight tremble in his voice. He couldn't actually care, could he?

"Someone had to help," I defended myself. "I couldn't just let them kill you."

"I can regenerate, idiot," he said softly and with a smile that shouldn't be so warm. There was no anger, no heat. Just this. He placed his hand over the wound in my shoulder. "You can't. If you die, you are gone."

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing."

The Master leaned down then, close enough so his nose almost brushed mine and my heart unexpectedly leaped into my throat, drumming there in a wild rhythm of… fear, anticipation, want, anxiety and everything in between. The warmth of his hand on my chest, his breath ghosting over my lips. I swallowed, frozen, unsure of what I even felt.

"We still have a deal," the Master whispered. "And I won't let you out of it so easily. So yes, for me it would be bad. I don't care about anything else."

His fingers lifted from my shirt and left an empty cold in their place. He moved away, coughing and cursing in a language I couldn't understand. A speckle of blood covered his hand afterwards and he cursed even nastier.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Ough, crap! No, I'm not." But he chuckled. "And you don't look much better. So shut up and rest a little yourself."

I pursed my lips. "And who keeps watch?"

"Over me?" He laughed and coughed, then cursed. "I'm not dying. It just needs to heal now. But you moron don't need t-"

"What about Vienna?"

He scoffed. "She hasn't shot me yet, so she won't do it now. Rest. That's an order. Or do I have to hypnotise your sorry arse?"

I winced. "Please don't."

"Then do what you're told. You look like you will fall asleep on the spot anyway soon."

"Won't."

"Will!"

"Oh, shut up. I'm fine. I can stay awa-"

"Just stay here," he offered, obviously not only meaning this room, but this bed too.

"Uh…" Why the heck did I blush now? This was so dumb, I couldn't… I shouldn't feel so weird around him. He was bad and evil and…

"I won't touch a hair on you, promise." He lay on his side, facing me. After a second he reached behind him and grabbed a neatly folded blanket he had never used, pushing it in my direction. "Don't need it anyway. You can have it. And I won't go anywhere, so you can keep your stupid watch."

After all he had just said I was so tempted to believe he meant it all. Sure, I had a promise to keep, but could that be enough for him? Did he really want me to be safe and well? I had sensed such pain from him just moments ago. That couldn't be a lie too, could it? He had more inside of him than any book or story could tell, more than only the surface he showed to the universe, more than just cruelty. It was right there, hidden in plain sight.

Someone had to give him a chance.

And right now I was way too tired to even think about getting up again, so I only put my glasses on the nightstand and huddled under the blanket. That thing felt too comfy and this mattress screamed for me to relax into and just… drift away.

---

.

---

This time there were no dreams, no strange visions or other creeping images in my mind that plagued my sleep. Only black remained behind my eyes and the warmth of the blanket.

The first thing I got aware of was the feeling of contentment. It slipped into the cracks of my awareness, slowly letting me drift upwards to the surface of consciousness. The soft cloth of the blanket slid across my skin as I moved, cuddling myself closer to the source of warmth. A soft chuckle grazed the edges of my hearing and I felt fingers in my hair, slowly ruffling through the short strands. I sighed, content, moving my hand upwards a little to feel the slow rhythm of four beats underneath it.

Then it hit me. That I laid against someone else, completely cuddled up. And I also remembered who that person was and promptly shot away, blinking my eyes open.

"Uh, s… sorry," I stammered. "Wasn't… I mean I didn't…"

"Come back, silly." The Master giggled and reached out towards me, grabbing my hip to draw me back. I stiffened, uncertain how to react, not awake enough to process. The Master immediately let go, only the smile stayed on his face. "Don't panic, little one."

"I don't. I… I… s… sorry. Don't be mad."

His face fell and he leaned a tad bit closer, stopping when he saw me wince. "You think I would let you sleep like that if it would make me mad?"

"Err… probably not, no." Then again was it possible that I had turned around only moments before waking up. Or had I really slept half on him for a while? With him knowing? And letting me?

"You can never quite decide whether to want to get close to anyone or not," mused the Master. "Why is that?"

Because it scared me.

"Cause… well… I'm never sure if it's… you know - appropriate." The room offered only dim light, making it hard to discern his reaction. "I don't know the rules for that kind of thing."

"There are rules?"

I nodded. "I guess. Everything people do seems to have some. But no one ever bothers to tell me what they are. And then they get mad or start hating me when I do the wrong thing."

The Master huffed. "Humans are weird. And I told you, I'm not mad. So get back here already."

I still hesitated. Why in the universe would he want me close? Or anyone for that matter. Unless… "Cause of the drums?" I guessed.

Silence stretched for several seconds. It had been the first thing that came to mind that made sense. And eventually I heard a confirming hum and took it as a sign to shuffle a tiny bit closer again, close enough to feel his body temperature, but not so close that I'd touch him in any way.

The Master regarded me with a long look, but made no attempt to move. That was fine. At least I didn't have to feel more awkward than already and this arrangement was a good compromise.

"I should thank you," said the Master. "You saved my life. One of them. I just don't get how."

"Yeah, same. I have no idea what I did." Or how. "Do you… remember anything?"

He squinted his eyes shut, trying to focus, but, eventually, he shook his head. "Darkness. That's all. I know you did something. I was at the brink of regenerating."

I took a deep breath and told him everything that had happened. The sudden shift into the void, the lurking creatures Lovecraft would have gotten nightmares from, and also about the tiny dragon that had gifted its flame to cauterize the wounds. "And yeah, it sounds insane. I know."

The Master scrunched up his nose in clear distaste. "Great, now I owe my life to that little nuisance. As if eating my books wasn't bad enough."

"Wait! You know what it is?"

He rolled his eyes and turned on his back, glaring angrily at the ceiling. "Doesn't hurt to tell you. We fought a dragon once and that thing came from the only egg his mother left. You practically adopted the thing."

A dragon?! I couldn't help the widening grin. I had an actual pet dragon? "Then why didn't it come back with us? Why is it in the void? And why don't those creatures just eat it?"

"No idea. But I think he is your connection to the void. Whatever exactly that might mean."

So, he had no idea either. What a pity. I hoped there would be a way to meet the little creature again. It was adorable. I still smiled when I met the Master's gaze. He seemed curious, studying my face and raising a brow.

"You're not even bothered, are you?" he said and turned to the side again, coming closer in the process. When I didn't move away he laid a hand on my hip, lingering, waiting for me to disapprove.

But I didn't. If anything I too leaned a bit closer, now laying face to face with him. Why did this feel so safe? And why did my heart speed up all of a sudden? There was still a lot of space between us. Too much to do… well… nothing, really. Stupid, stupid heart!

"You killed people."

His words tore me out of my silly musings and I looked into his eyes that showed only curiosity and maybe a little amusement. No judgement. No question. No damnation. I blinked, fighting the urge to huddle closer, because…

"Can I touch you?" he muttered.

At first I didn't process the question, but then it clicked. I nodded. "Yeah, okay."

His hand moved from my hip under my shirt, where it rested on the same spot, drawing me just a little closer. And this time I allowed it, my nose bumping against his. It didn't help my heartrate that I felt his mind stroking along the edges of my own, not intruding, barely connecting, just there. I had to close my eyes and draw in a deep breath.

"I'd do it again," I whispered and knew he would sense that it was the truth.

A spark of something shot through the vague connection. Want, maybe, admiration, possessiveness. I couldn't really make it out and when I opened my eyes again, his were closer than before, his pupils wide, almost completely devouring the hazel behind them. He swallowed, leaned closer, his breath ghosting over my lips. And then I only heard a growl and he shifted away and upwards, drawing me against his chest so he could rest his chin on top of my head.

My heart raced, fluttering like a butterfly in a storm, accompanied by the gentle touch of his mind. "You know that I can't ever give you back now, right?" he growled against my head, holding me tight against him.

I chuckled, aware of how twisted it was that taking some lifes had made him like me more. And I really couldn't bring myself to care. They were empty faces and in that moment and just for me and me alone they had done enough to deserve their fate. I focussed on that feeling and tried to channel it through our connection. The Master inhaled sharply and his mind vibrated with even more appreciation and some other things I couldn't name.

We stayed like this. Not tired enough to sleep, yet unwilling to move; just bathing in our mind's connection and the warmth of another body and the feeling of hearts beating against each other. I couldn't imagine anything better and we surely would have stayed like that for much longer wouldn't it have been for the sound of the TARDIS materializing in the other room.

Notes:

Recommendation of the week is a weird one, but hear me out!
It's written in a fantastic and captivating way. The Doctor's and the Master's roles have changed. It's also an AU. I can't remember how I stumbled over this and usually I'm not so much an AU fan, but damn, this one just gets to you. Seriously. Just read the first few paragraphs and the decide ;D

all the ashes in my wake by thesecondbeatitude

Chapter 34: Part VI (VIII)

The unmistakable sound of the TARDIS materializing echoed through the other room, announcing the comfy times to be over. The Master let go of me, his mind retreating, while his gaze wandered past me, followed by an eye-roll.

"Spoilsport," he murmured and sat up.

Suddenly the warmth was missing, replaced by cold air and the simple lack of someone. I swallowed a grunt and rolled over, picking up my glasses before standing up from the bed. For some reason I didn't want anyone to see me like this. With him. Not as close as we had just been.

I heard the TARDIS door creak open and seconds later the Doctor rushed onto the bedroom, missing not only his coat, but also the tie. His hair spiked in several more directions than they were supposed to, and that alone told enough. He didn't even glance at me, rushing towards the bed to almost crush into the Master who just got to his feet. The reward came in the form of a rough shove, the Master growled, glaring at the other man with contempt.

"Now you pop up. When everything is over. That's so typical."

"I… I thought…" stammered the Doctor. He swallowed and tried again. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I felt splendid until you arrived."

Donna and Vienna appeared in the room as well, the former storming in and next to the Doctor, regarding the Master from head to toe. "Thank god, you're alive. The Doctor would've been unbearable otherwise. And what the flip happened to your hair? I mean, he was a sobbing mess the whole time anyway, but it wouldn't have made anything better."

"I'm sorry," murmured the Doctor. "I'm so, so sorry I didn't even try and listen. I should have. Really should have. This's all my fault."

"Yes, it is," hissed the Master.

"Oi, don't be mean, alien boy! What else were we supposed to think, seeing ya standing there in the flames and all?"

"Well, you do have a reputation." Vienna nodded, arms folded loosely in front of her chest. "Would have thought the same thing if I hadn't known the political situation here. And you are the Doctor? Really? It's a bit unfair that you can get younger, don't you think?"

The Doctor twirled around, scanning the assassin, then the Master again. "Ohhhh, Vienna! What are you doing here?  Not good. Not good at all."

The blonde gave a little wave and a smile. "That's me in a nutshell. Hello to you too."

After taking one last look at the Master, the Doctor grabbed Vienna's arm and dragged her into the next room, out of sight and out of hearing range. Donna stayed behind, scowling.

"Someone, and I assume it was that woman, contacted us via your tablet." Her brows knitted together even tighter.

"It's not locked, yeah. So what?" He shrugged, sitting back down on the edge of the bed, holding a hand to his chest.

"You had a tablet! The whole flippin' time you had a tablet! You could've called! You could've tried to explain the situation and you did nothing!" She threw her hands up. "This whole thing's for nothing! And you got Lucy in danger too!"

"Don't shout, woman," grumbled the Time Lord and rubbed his ear. "My head hurts already."

"Don't you dare!" Donna stepped closer, towering as menacingly as only she was capable of. "You have no idea how worried the Doctor was 'bout ya!"

"No, really. Keep it down a bit, will you?"

But Donna had quite the opposite idea. "Don't sit there so calm! At least apologise! Can't believe how you're just… just… get up already!" She even grabbed a small pillow and tried to slap him with it, with little success.

The Master raised his arms in time, swatting it away. At least he tried. In his current state not everything seemed to work quite as he liked. "I'm going to fucking murder you," growled the Master, then started coughing, evading another attempt.

"Just try, moon boy!" She let the pillow flop on his head. An indignant whine came as the answer and she lunged at him again.

Finally I awoke from my stupor and rushed to Donna, grabbing her dress and dragging her away. She protested, cursing, while a speckle of blood landed on the carpet, coughed up by the Time Lord. "Leave him be," I begged. "Don't you see he's wounded?"

"So what? Daft superior biology and all. Bet he's faking it even! This… this… oh, let go of me, I'm going to hurt him only a little!"

"Donna, please!" I grabbed her arm. "It's serious. He almost died. I saw it. It's not fake or anything."

"And how come you're defending him? He's been a total prick to ya!"

Finally the Doctor came back and took her other arm. His look was strangely serious. "It's alright, Donna. I'm fine. Lucy's fine. See? It's all good."

It was exactly then, just as if she had heard those words, that the TARDIS made noises. The unmistakable sounds of… dematerializing. We all stilled, glaring at one another in disbelief. Surely this was a mistake and she would return every second, surely I had misheard and the time ship still stood where it had been before. Slowly the sounds faded and behind stayed an unsettling silence.

The Master broke out in a hysterical laugh.

"What did you do?" gasped Donna. "Did-"

"Wasn't him," murmured the Doctor and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Something here must have scared her off. I think the HADS might have been activated." He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Dammit! I should have checked!"

The Master's laugh finally died down, probably only because his lungs protested, making him cough up even more blood. A big splotch of it landed on the floor and immediately the Doctor ran over and crouched down, taking the Master's face into his hands. "Hey, let me have a look. I wanted to get you to the med bay, but… weeeell…"

"Fuck off." He swatted the hands away, glowering at the other man.

"No. No, I won't. I'm sorry, Master. I really am."

"Oh don't bloody apologise all the time," Donna grumbled. "He's got a reputation for a reason and we all know it."

"Yes, Doctor, we all know it," the Master parroted, wiping blood from his mouth. "Only you don't want to see it. There is nothing in me but destruction. Get updated."

He tried to push the Doctor away, but he remained where he was, on his knees and reached upwards to grab the Master's face again, pressing a kiss to his lips. The room fell silent with shock, disbelief and simple surprise. A moment that stretched for a strange undefinable time and yet it lasted only mere seconds. It broke, together with a strangled sound, then the Master shoved the Doctor away, his eyes wide with alarming rage, dark with contempt. He wiped his mouth again, spitting on the ground and standing up.

"Oh no, Doctor. You don't get to do that," he hissed.

The other man stayed on the ground, no sound left him. And no one dared to keep the Master from walking out of the room, even though his every movement showed how weak he still was. The hate and darkness he radiated was enough for anyone to feel.

Donna stepped next to the Doctor, Vienna left the room and I silently followed. I didn't know how to react. The Master was right, in a way, to be pissed about the Doctor's mistrust. They were a thing, weren't they? And every relationship needs trust. On the other end the Doctor also was right. History and experience offered enough evidence to support that this was exactly a thing the Master would do. And had done.

Somehow they both were equally right and wrong in this. Strange.

"I might have a hunch about that TARDIS running away," said Vienna, nodding towards a window. "Or flying. Teleporting. Whatever those things do."

I took a glance out too and saw a bunch of people standing there, holding up protesting signs and shouting stuff. They were too far away to understand anything, but the message was clear. They wanted the Master gone. One poster said something about an election. The other demanded to know more about the Master, not wanting to be ruled by some stranger.

"They don't look very dangerous to me," grumbled the Time Lord. "Let them protest. My soldiers patrol the premises and if anyone makes a wrong move they have orders to use violence."

"Of course they do." Vienna rolled her eyes. "As if I would need yet another reason to fulfil my contract."

"No! Don't do anything you'll regret!" The Doctor came stumbling outside, holding a hand up as if to calm the head hunter. "Don't… whoever hired you this time. We can settle it. I can get the money, somehow, probably. Of course I can! Just don't hurt him. Please."

Vienna sighed and shook her head. "Wow. You're already number two who begs me. And especially from you I wouldn't have expected it."

"That.. well… things have changed." He begged her with his eyes not to do anything stupid. "Somewhat."

"Mhm, I noticed." She winked. "Preeeetty sure you weren't snogging last time."

Immediately the Doctor's face drowned in a deep shade of red. "Tha… that's got nothing to do with it. Okay, a little. Maybe a lot."

"And apparently," said the Master, ignoring everything else, "I hired her myself to finish the job."

"What?!"

"Maybe not." Vienna regarded the Master with a sceptical look. "The other you wasn't blond. And I assume this isn't going to just change back?"

The Time Lord stroked a hand through his hair, humming in thought. "I did release some regeneration energy. That must have caused the change. So, no, it's not going to change back. Unless I dye them. Does it look stupid?" He looked at the Doctor, then at me.

"Just makes you look more like a rascal." I poked my tongue out. "But I like it."

"Errr… I… didn't notice," murmured the Doctor. "Was busy with other stuff, you know?" The red shade still hadn't vanished entirely. "But… Regeneration energy? How bad were you wounded?"

"Pretty bad." The Master shrugged. "But it's healing."

The Doctor ignored us being there and rushed to the other man, carefully lifting up his jumper up to where the bullet had ripped a hole through the Master's chest. Smears of dried blood clogged the hole, travelling downwards to vanish somewhere on the way. Some of the blood had soaked into his pants, some had simply crumbled away after drying out.

I almost got sick at the sight, not because I couldn't see blood, but it reminded me of how much of it he had lost, how close he had been to dying. And yes, in that moment it hadn't even occurred to me that he would have been able to regenerate. An overreaction, and now I felt shame creep up my neck. What if the void had swallowed us? What if those creatures had gotten too close?

The Doctor stroked a finger over the wound and the Master hissed, wincing, but not backing off. He let the other one take a good look before rolling his jumper down again. "Satisfied?" he grumbled.

"You know I'm not," mumbled the Doctor, looking away.

And then, suddenly, he jumped forward to the window, pressing his hands and nose against it. "What the… why are they running away?"

"Who's running?" asked Donna.

"Everyone! The soldiers too. They're coming back inside."

"What?" said the Master and now looked too.

Something clearly was going on out there. And probably nothing good. My suspicion got confirmed only moments later. Loud screams rang up all the way to our ears, followed by bright light and an ear-piercing explosion that shook the ground and the whole building. Plaster trickled down from the ceiling, the screams got first quiet, then louder. People banged against closed doors, someone shouted orders.

"What was that?" asked the Doctor, eyes wide in shock.

"Another one," murmured Vienna. "We got bombed once already. They blew up a whole district. No idea who or why. But it's obvious who they want." She nodded towards the Master.

"And of course the flippin' TARDIS has to vanish now of all times," whined Donna. "What if there are more attacks? How do we get out? And what about those poor people down there?"

"The mansion is stable." The Master shrugged. "I looked at the plans and if they don't come with at least nuclear firepower nothing will break here. Maybe some glasses, but who cares."

"We have to let the protesters in," the Doctor demanded.

"Oh, hell no! They hate me!"

"What if there is another attack? Another bomb?"

"So? No one forced them to be here!"

The Doctor let out an exasperated sigh. "See? This is why I didn't trust you."

"There is already one assassin in here who wants to kill me," the Master protested. "Why would I let in dozens of them?"

"How about to show those people that you care?" offered Donna. "Might paint you in a better light to them."

"She's not wrong," Vienna seconded. "You might get them on better terms that way."

"You could do something good here," begged the Doctor.

The Master rolled his eyes. "You're ruining all the good reasons. But fine." He went over to a desk and picked up a small device, holding it up to his mouth. "Let them come in. Don't shoot or harm anyone. And don't let them upstairs. All soldiers should come inside too. We don't know who set off the bombs and we have no idea if there will be more, copy that?"

Some radio static followed, then we heard a short confirmation and the static died down. We shared some glances, no one spoke for a good minute.

Finally, the Doctor moved. He walked up to the Master, looked him in the eyes and only whispered, "Thank you."

Notes:

My recommendation of the week comes from the fantastic author Nym and is called Antithesis
They explore the well know topic of: What if the Master didn't get shot on board the Valiant? What if Jack travels with the Doctor afterwards and helps with keeping the Master in check?
It's not a new topic. I use it myself, after all (minus Jack). Nonetheless, the writing is simply superb and explores a few interesting thoughts and directions.
Sadly, the story never got finished, but that doesn't change its brilliance. It's one of those stories I keep coming back to again and again.

Chapter 35: Part VI (IX)

The Master spoke to his soldiers on the com, making sure everyone out there would be able to make it into the mansion. It took a while, minutes passed, the tension rose. I could swear a waft of smoke somehow made its way inside, burning in my nose, my eyes stung from the bright light of the flames. Some trees had caught fire, the grass turned into a sea of red and orange.

"All in?" The Master waited for an answer, then nodded. "Good. Close all doors, search everyone for weapons and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Outside too, yes. Put those fires out."

He released the button and put down the com, then glared out the window.

"This was a good decision," assured the Doctor.

"I'm not so sure about that," growled the Master. "A TARDIS doesn't run away just because some idiot plants a bomb nearby. She would have urged us to leave, instead."

"Oh, come on." Donna stemmed her fists into her hips. "That box can't be so intelligent. It's just a ship!"

Both Time Lords gave her a death glare.

"Uh oh, boys and their cars. Be careful not to insult them," Vienna taunted. "So, what now? Do we just wait and see? I could snoop around a little, talk to the people, be one of them, you understand?" She winked.

The Master scrunched up his nose. "You stay exactly where you are and where I can keep an eye on you."

"Don't be so grumpy," she interjected with a cheeky smile, "I'm on your side, right now."

"Yeah, right." The Master huffed. "You will stay here. I still have trust issues with people that try to kill me, Salvatori."

"Aaaaw, listen to you! Holding grudges."

"Don't fight," pleaded the Doctor. "We have more urgent problems to solve." He started to pace up and down, his shoes leaving a faint trail in the soft carpet wherever he stepped. "First, we need to make sure no one is hurt. Then we have to find out if the bomb people are still outside, or other assassins. Aside from Vienna, of course."

"Hey! I count!"

"So much to being on our side." The Master smirked.

Vienna grinned.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Maybe it would help if you'd be useful for once and hold a speech or something?" she suggested. "Calm the people down. Tell them this wasn't you. Pretty sure they're thinking about it. They might revolt even."

The Master shrugged. "The building is practically made for this. They can't get anywhere. Everything is secured and locked and stable. Oh, and don't forget all the armed soldiers. Besides…" He grunted. "I'm in a pathetic state. How should they have any respect right now?"

But maybe that was exactly what we needed. An idea struck me and while they bickered for a while longer, it took on some shape.

"Donna is right," I interrupted. "Talking to them might really help."

"And how exactly? You think they have some compassion?" The Master shuddered dramatically. "As a leader I need to look strong and threatening or they will use the opportunity and make everything worse."

"I don't think so." I smiled at him. "Actually, I think you should go out there looking as weak and pathetic as possible. Look half dead, lean on the Doctor to walk straight and put that blood soaked shirt  with the bullet hole back on." I countered his confused look with a grin until I slowly saw the realisation trickle into him.

"Ohhhh, oh, you are brilliant!" He chuckled.

"I don't get it," said Donna. "Won't they try to kill him even more?"

"No." I smiled. "He doesn't need to get close. There are big enough screens. No need for risks. But he can convince everyone that he himself is a victim of whomever set that bomb off. Tell them it wasn't protesters, but assassins. The same that attacked now and also the same that were in the city yesterday and the ones who blew up the pantheon."

"No—---ot sure they'll believe it." Vienna tapped against her chin. "What if some of the shooters are among them? You, err, didn't… get rid of them all."

Again I offered a smile. "Easy. Tell the people they'll get a reward for provable information. Make them suspicious. If any of the shooters are among them, make them afraid to show themselves. Make everyone so paranoid that they don't even dare to think about attacking again."

Donna glared at me with an open mouth. The Doctor ran a hand through his hair, swallowing. "Geeze, I didn't know you could be so manipulative."

I shrugged. "Had enough people do it to me. And I can learn."

"Brilliant! Like I said." The Master grabbed my head and pressed a kiss against it. "My good little prisoner."

"I'm not!" I grumbled, rubbing my forehead.

"Brilliant?" He grinned from ear to ear. "Don't make yourself so small. Well, smaller than you already are."

I smacked his arm, but the Master only giggled to himself and went to grab his discarded, blood stained shirt, looking at it with disgust. "Well then. Let's do this."

And what a performance he offered! We gathered in a room full of monitors, one of them, larger than the others, stood in the middle and this was where the Master performed. If I hadn't known better I would have believed every word right out of his mouth and it was then that I realized that he had never really lied to me. Maybe bent the truth here and there, or omitting things, but not… this.

It definitely helped that the Master's lungs still healed, the wheezing and occasional drop of blood only adding to the performance.

"I won't stand for this," he announced at the end. "Whoever killed our president Calfen, whoever had the audacity to burn down our monuments and destroy our homes will pay! This is our shared past, those were our families and friends who died a horrible and useless death." He made a dramatic pause, coughing probably more than necessary. The Doctor rushed to his side, helping him stand. "I know you don't trust me. Calfen was a friend since childhood and he was too protective over me. He didn't want me to get involved in politics because of exactly the things that are now happening. And yes…" Another cough. "I can't prove it. But let me help. Let me-" he took a wheezing breath, pressing a hand against his chest- "set this right. And then I will see how we can make this city a better place for all of us."

And with that he broke down, letting the Doctor and one of the soldiers drag him away, while another man turned off the feed. We could still see what the cameras recorded downstairs, could see the excited chatter, the shared whispers. A lot of people nodded, many more did a salute.

The speech seemed to have done its work.

The Master untangled himself from his aids and straightened, grinning, showing clearly he didn't need them. He could shake off the act as if it were a vest. "Too much?"

I laughed and shook my head.

Donna huffed. "You damn, bloody liar. Haven't seen someone talk like that in ages. Heck, wouldn't I know what a sod you are, I'd believe it all myself!"

"Oh, stop it. I'm blushing!" The Master chuckled.

"I'm not happy with lying to them," whined the Doctor. "And let me check those wounds. You didn't even bandage anything."

"Cauterized," said the Master, then pointed at me. "Mommy let her little pet spit on me."

The Doctor glared at me, then at him, clearly confused. I poked out my tongue. "Bit of dragon spit or regenerating? What's better?"

The Master returned the gesture, adding a cheeky grin to it. "Might still be a good idea to have a look." He let his eyes wander over the Doctor, then the rest of us, lingering for a moment on Vienna, who was busy keeping the monitors in sight, before returning to the other Time Lord. "I need to smack your head in anyway. In private," he added, as soon as Donna opened her mouth. "If anything suspicious happens, get me."

---

.

---

The Master grabbed the Doctor's shirt by the collar, dragging him away from the others and ignoring the indignant complaints that came from him. Only when they had reached a different room did he let go, shoving the other man backwards with a frown.

"I'm still mad at you, Doctor," he announced, sneering. He carefully slipped out of the bloody shirt and tossed it over a chair.

"You were standing in front of a burning building!" the Doctor whined.

"Wel, yes. It looked pretty!" He stepped in front of a full body mirror that hung on the wall, tracing his fingers along the hole the bullet had left.

The Doctor stayed silent. He had made all his arguments already. They hung in the silence between them, screaming that he didn't trust the Master and probably never fully would. But no, that wasn't a surprise. It wasn't even entirely unwelcome.

"I would have let it slide," said the Master, watching the other's reflection looking at his feet. "Maybe I would have played a little with you. Like in old times. I wouldn't have minded to fight you again."

The reflection moved, raised its head to cast a confused glance at the mirror. Another moment passed. And the silence screamed louder, drumming in a rhythm of four, like it always did, until the Doctor stepped closer, behind the Master. His cool hand traced along the jagged edges of the wound on his back, tingling. Goosebumps spread on the Master's arms and he ignored them.

"If this is all a game to you, why are you mad then? Why didn't you play?" The question sounded genuinely curious and that irked the Master even more.

"You sent her as bait," he spat, still only looking at the Doctor's reflection. "You put her in danger."

The fingers on his back stilled. A chuckle came from behind, forcing the Master to finally turn around. "Did I?" asked the Doctor, studying his face with a barely-there smile, a hint of I know something.

"Yes!" the Master hissed.

"Then why does it make you angry at me?" He reached out, hovering his fingers over the Master's chest, hesitating. "We both know you would have never harmed her. And if the possibility still exists… I'm not the one you should be mad at."

Taken aback, the Master glared. "It's always a possibility." The drums agreed. And they reminded him. They told of all the times where the Master had not been in control, when he had done things he hadn't meant to. All those things he was supposed to feel remorse over, yet he had trained himself not to. "You don't trust me for one second. You should know." The look he tried to burn into the Doctor's skull didn't quite work. A strange smile still played on the Doctor's face.

"I don't trust you not to take over a planet when the opportunity arises, no." For a second his look darkened, but then he shook his head and smiled this childish and warm smile that had always gone straight under the Master's skin.

That was when he understood. The Doctor did trust him.

He snorted. "Oh, who is playing with whom now? Do you try to feel superior? That will never work."

It didn't matter that the Doctor was a good bit taller than him. It had never mattered, not in any regeneration. He still had the smaller mind.

"No-hoo! I just wanted you to see. And then come to your senses and leave the place without destroying it!"

"Too bad someone else did that already."

The Doctor lowered his head in shame. "I… I'm sorry I blamed you without thinking. If anything like that happens again I'll trust you sooner. I promise!"

The Master squinted his eyes, staring. "Why would you?"

"Because…" Oh what sweet tension. Its trails lingered in the air around them like the softest smell. He swallowed, adam's apple bobbing. "... I want it. I need it." He looked up with those wide, dark doe-eyes. "I ran away from you long enough. And I don't want to any longer."

The Master hummed, a smile playing on his lips. Was the Doctor actually accepting him? Not fully, of course, that would never happen. But enough. Just enough. He stretched a little to accommodate the Doctor's height, searching his eyes for any sign of deceit and found only honesty there. Annoying, but he could work with that.

"Prove it," said the Master. "Show me you are mine."

The Doctor swallowed, nodded. The Master grinned.

"Good. Now, kneel."

Notes:

We all love it when he does that, don't we? °L°

---

This time I have another unfinished one for you. It really doesn't matter and it's worth the wait for every chapter.
Actually, this story accompanied me through my apprenticeship years! :D
And I love, love, loooove it to bits. The writing is fantastic and so emotional <3
A story about the Master finding one of the Doctor's companions and he can't help but fall for her helplessly, because he's just soft, okay? UwU

Bishops Knife Trick by Brionia

Chapter 36: Part VI (X)

Notes:

You'll get your smut, don't worry. But first I couldn't pass the chance for this funny dialogue and then I also was in dire need of some fluff.

"Soooo," drawled Vienna, casually leaning back in her chair in front of the monitors. "Our Time Lords are dating now? How's that working out? They hate each other. Well, one does. Not sure the Doctor can hate. Too much of a sunshine, that one."

In front of her a set of flatscreens showed a crowd of people. Maybe a hundred of them, maybe a little more, or less. They huddled together, talking, some staring out of the windows were soldiers ran about, securing the area. The fire still burned wherever it could reach grass.

Donna let out a deep, weary sigh. "I wish it were so easy. They refuse to call it dating. Or anything else official, for that matter."

Their voices barely reached my ears. I still felt tired and in a strange way not entirely there. I wish they would have taken longer to arrive here. I wish those damn people wouldn't have attacked. I wish I could just be alone with my thoughts.

"Ah, so it's just a… thing." The blond did some air quotes. "Well, it makes sense, I guess. To me it seemed more as if those two were dating." And here she pointed… at me.

"Whus?!" I blurted out, tearing my eyes away from the screens to give Vienna an incredulous look. "Not for a million pounds!"

She snickered. "So, you tell me you'd shoot people with a bloody laser beam for just anyone?"

"You what?" called Donna, shock clearly visible and audible.

I clutched the laser screwdriver in my pocket, feeling the warm metal against my skin, the knobs and rotating parts that had a rougher texture. At some point I would have to return it, but right now I found a sense of comfort and security in having the device with me. The… weapon.

"People shot at us. It was just defense." I let go of the screwdriver and breathed out. My vision blurred a little and my head felt dizzy. If only they would be quiet. I didn't want to defend myself. "If I hadn't we'd all be dead now."

"Yeaaaah, suuure," made Vienna and winked at me. Sometimes she had quit the childish attitude to her, matching her high voice and the spring in her steps. That woman loved to be in danger. "That's why you completely freaked out when I pulled a gun on him. Several times."

It might be unfair to call it luck that a small commotion broke out downstairs, but it distracted everyone from me and the answer I didn't have. A bunch of people had started a fist fight, but the soldiers couldn't get to them because of how many people were in the way. The two women discussed what to do and I silently slipped away, glad about the opportunity.

For a brief moment I wondered if the wound might have gotten infected. It didn't hurt much, just itched a little, but my head felt strange. All of my senses felt skewed, somehow not quite as they should be.

The Time Lords hadn't walked too far, I had seen them vanish behind the door to the Master's bedroom. It had all the meds stored within it, so that made the most sense anyway. I knocked on the door and heard a grunt, so I went inside, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw the scene in front of me.

The Doctor knelt on the carpet, looking upwards, whereas the Master stood above him, just slightly bent down, one hand holding the other one's shirt collar in a tight grip.

"What is it?" grunted the Master, barely taking his eyes off of his prey. "I'm busy."

"Yah… I can see that," I mumbled, but then smirked, folding my arms and smelling just the opportunity to be a little mean. "I'm afraid you have to postpone that blowjob, though. There's a commotion downstairs."

The Doctor's head twirled around and his mouth clearly repeated my words without any sound. Then he suddenly shot up, tugging his shirt out of the Master's fingers and then hurried out of the room, babbling something about needing to help. The Master, for a moment, glared at the now empty spot and started to laugh. He stepped closer, nudging me with his elbow.

"Don't be so horny."

"Pffff, I'm not." I poked my tongue out, grinning. "You know exactly what that looked like."

"Like me being master of an idiot?"

"See?"

The Master rolled his eyes, still silently chuckling to himself. He tapped my shoulder, ushering me outside. "And now you're jealous?"

"Wha-? Heck no." I gave him a smirk. "'sides, all my gay friends insist that men can do better blowjobs anyway."

The Master stopped walking for a second, fixating me with a truly baffled stare. "I don't know why anyone would make themselves that vulnerable. People have teeth, in case you forgot, you horny idiot."

"'m not," I chuckled. "I might just have remembered how much fun it is to tease you about that stuff."

His face fell in that moment, every expression vanished in one go and without a warning he grabbed my shoulders. "What else?"

It took me a second to react, too perplexed by the sudden change. I shook my head. "It's… only snippets here and there and I'm not sure if they're only guesses or real. I mean… is it?" I babbled and my brain took over. "It's logical, in a way. You're an alien and you brag about being superior and it… it just makes sense to tease with something you'd see as primitive and-"

"Shut up," he mumbled, toneless, and let go of me, running a hand over his face. All energy seemed to have left him. All hope. Again. "And stop being annoying."

"Oi, you two!" Donna waved from the door to the control room. "They're not fightin' anymore."

"But the soldiers have brought up a guy who might be one of the shooters, " Vienna added from behind. "I'd go and thank him personally, but..."

The Doctor glared down at the woman with an open mouth and shook his head. She grinned at him, but stopped talking. Under different circumstances I would have probably liked Vienna a lot more. Her quirky, direct way and humour fell right into the territory of things I appreciated.

Not so much when it was directed at someone I… yeah, what even? From my current perspective I still barely knew the Master. I could sense that there used to be a connection between us, although its nature eluded me. I sensed that we used to bicker and joke like we had just done and it felt familiar to tease him about aspects of his alien nature.

But what else was there?

I didn't follow them to look at the suspect. Partly because I wouldn't be of help there anyway, partly because my stomach grumbled, partly also because the shot wound did hurt now and itched and made me antsy, and also because somehow everything started to be more and more simply… too much.

Too many aspects to think about, too many unanswered questions, too many people in a single spot, too many sounds and lights and voices to listen to. I still heard them, following me wherever I went. In my head, in my veins, somewhere where I couldn't blend them out.

I stopped, suddenly aware that I had no idea where I had gone. Not to the kitchen, that was for sure. Also not to any place I really knew. Stairs. There were some stairs, leading down. And without a second thought I simply took them. Maybe out of curiosity.

A pair of soldiers stood close by, watching me, but doing nothing. They probably knew everyone's faces and had orders not to touch me. It turned out not to be necessary anyway. As soon as I came close to the lower level I got hit by more noises, screaming right into my head. Some of them literally screamed, others just chatted, but the sheer amount added up quickly and I fled upstairs again, feeling nauseated.

What happened to me? Why did I feel so strange? My heart raced, my palms were sweaty, my lungs refused to fill with air properly, feeling as if all my muscles had become so strained that I just couldn't breathe anymore.

A panic attack?

No. I shook my head, pressing forwards. This came out of the blue and without a real warning and also without a clear cause. Nothing all all happened right now that would count as a reason for panic. Everything was under control, I was safe. It made no sense.

And still I had to force every single breath into my body. It hurt. The lights were loud in my eyes. Why now? What had changed? What triggered this? I stopped in my tracks, trying to get more air. Why was it so fucking bright?

Without thinking I grabbed a door handle and pushed it down, slipping inside the room, pausing.

No lights pierced my eyes in here. No sounds bombarded my ears. Yet, everything still hurt and itched and was too much. Just too much.

I sank down against the wall, not bothering to look where I had ended up.

Too much.

Yeah. Maybe that was the reason. I took another strained breath, trying to feel the air, but even that overwhelmed me. So I just sat there, in the darkness, in the quiet, waiting for whatever this was to stop.

"There you are."

The sudden voice made me look up. Someone stood in the doorway. Light flared through the room and it hurt so badly that I groaned and wrapped my arms over my head, sinking together. A moment later it was dark again and someone crouched down in front of me.

"What's wrong with you, Lumin?" the Master asked. Was there concern in his voice?

I only shook my head, but sank my arms to look up. It wasn't completely dark in here. The sun rose slowly and offered some faint, diffuse ambient light, without actually hurting. I wanted to tell him, but no words came out when I opened my mouth.

To my surprise, the Master didn't look confused any longer. Instead a look of recognition whizzed over his face, followed by a simple question: "Too much?"

How did he know? I nodded.

"Move," he said softly, gesturing towards himself. When I only gave him a confused look he chuckled and repeated the gesture. "Only a bit away from the wall. I'm going to uh… well, I guess I have to hurt you a little. If it gets too much, tap my arm and I'll leave you alone, yeah?"

I didn't know what exactly he even meant or planned to do, but I obeyed, making space and the Master slipped behind me, sinking down at the wall and wrapping his arms around my middle, pressing my back flush against him.

In the first moment I tensed, a surge of actual panic rising from some place I couldn't name. But the Master's hold on me instantly softened and I relaxed, letting him squeeze me again afterwards. This wasn't bad. Not at all. He was warm and the firm hold grounded me in a way I was sure I had never experienced before. The wound hurt a lot more because of him, but I could manage. Actually, the pain helped too.

After a while it felt as if I could breathe freely again and my muscles relaxed in places I hadn't even been aware had been tense. Only now did I start to feel the ground I sat on, hardwood floor, warm from my own body by now. We were in a simple office space, not too dissimilar to the one I had been imprisoned in, yet devoid of any trace of having been used.

"Better?" muttered the Master behind me.

"Mhm," I made, surprised that a sound managed to leave me. I swallowed and tried again. "What… did you do? Is this another… mind trick?"

He chuckled and squeezed me even tighter, making me sigh shakingly. How could this help so much? "It's not a trick." He loosened the grip a little, but kept it firm enough. "You kept talking… before the memory loss… You always went on about not being properly human. So I did a bit of research on your condition and used your biodata to see what might trigger certain reactions."

"What, to torture me more effectively?" I huffed.

The Master huffed and unexpectedly nuzzled against my neck, muttering, "No, idiot. To make you feel better."

My heart jumped. Because of his actions and because of his words. His breath ghosted against my skin, his face so close to my own. For a way too long second it took everything within me not to turn and…

"H… how'd you even find me here?" I managed to press out.

"No idea." His voice vibrated against my neck, sending goosebumps down my arms. Finally he retreated again, leaning backwards a little. "It's actually peculiar. I just knew where to look."

"Huh?"

He hummed. "I think… that piece of life force you held for a while… That might still hold… mhm, how to put it… a memory of you? An imprint of sorts. I can't say for sure. There is no literature on anyone who has ever tried that before." He loosened the grip and leaned back. "Are you better now? There is much to do outside."

"Y… yeah. A lot better. Thanks." I scrambled to my feet and watched him do the same.

I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or concerned. Maybe both. Which begged the question why he had helped me in the first place. Not only was it a nice gesture, it also was more than anyone had ever done for me.

"Come. There is a library." He grunted. "If I send you back to the others you will just have the next breakdown."

I smacked his arm, earning only a giggle in return. I didn't protest, however. A bit of peace and quiet would do me good.

Chapter 37: Part VI (XI) --- E

Notes:

Soooo.... this chapter can be skipped entirely. It's just pure filth for the most part.
And gods is it filthy in one or two moments... I couldn't resist.
I also can never resist to play with the fact that they are aliens and do things a bit different here and there.

Well, the human was dealt with for the next few hours. The Master left her in the library, just as he had promised. However, he didn't leave immediately, leaning with his back against the cold, wooden door, listening for something he couldn't hear. And if it truly existed then the drums drowned it out completely.

No, not completely. It still gnawed on him. That strange sensation that had led him towards the door behind which Lumin had waited. It was true, he had no idea how exactly he had known. After the revolting people had been dealt with the Master had… felt. And it had taken him forever to decipher what the heck that sensation was until he recognized it as distress. An all too unfamiliar sensation and definitely not his own.

Strange indeed. But there was nothing to be done about it, for now and there was no one he could get answers from. The whole thing only left him wondering if, maybe, this was some sort of punishment from a god he didn't even believe in. Wasn't it cruel to be bound to someone who couldn't even remember their past?

The Master knew he deserved this and everything a thousand times worse, after everything he had committed in his life. Death could be bargained with, literally. But what about fate? If there was such a thing, could he become powerful enough to trick or overthrow it? Kill it even?

Without making a sound, the Master pushed himself away from the door, leaving all those thoughts behind for now.

And promptly ran into someone else. The impact made him jump and he grabbed the shoulders in front of him, steadying their owner, while she let out a whine.

"Ooow." Vienna pouted. "Do you have to be so harsh all the time?"

"I didn't see you, ape," he snarled. "Stop running around like a lab rat for once."

"Standing still with you anywhere close by is a bad idea and you know it."

The Master let a grin show. "And there I thought I treated you well. I let you come on a hunt with me, after all, is that worth nothing?"

"For stealing my body, for fucks sake!" She stabbed a finger at him. "Well, I guess you don't need to do that anymore. That's a comfort. And where is Lucy? She's vanished." Vienna squinted at him. "Don't tell me you did something to the kid."

"No! Of course not!" It shot out of him faster than he could think. "She errr… is useful, for the time being. It would be stupid to harm her." Good, he had saved himself there. This should deserve a pat on his shoulder, if it weren't for the company.

"Could'ave fooled me for a second," Vienna snorted. "Was almost thinking you actually like someone for a change."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Then what about the Doctor?" Damn, she played unfair! "That also just a scheme of yours? Wouldn't surprise me, really. Everyone who gets close to you gets hurt."

"Damn right," he snarled. "So stop being in my way, Salvatori or I swear, you will regret it."

The woman raised her hands with a mocking smile twinkling in her childish eyes. "Oh nooo, the big, bad Master put on his scary face. I'm gone, I'm gone. But le'me tell you, I won't just watch you hurt people. You get that?"

The Master stepped closer, towering over her with the, hopefully, cruelest smile he could muster. "Oh, you won't have a choice, little human."

And with that he left her, storming away and towards the monitoring room. Donna and the Doctor sat inside; she watched the monitors with a way too serious frown, while the Doctor had his feet propped up on the table, sipping some beverage out of a can, with a straw. If you could even call that sipping. He did things with his tongue that should not ever be shown to children.

"Oh, Master," he greeted. "Everything's quiet. No one dared to start a riot again. Can't say I'm happy with your methods, but… weeeell… it obviously worked."

"Killing the guys in front of everyone, that's what he did!" cried Donna. "How can you approve of that, Doctor?"

"I didn't kill them," grunted the Master. "It was just a taser. You saw them yourself get up again, don't whine."

"Yes, but they-" she gestured towards the monitors– "don't know that!"

"Donna, please," interrupted the Doctor. "Don't shout. I'll come up with something better. I don't like it either, but it's better than them starting to kill each other."

The Master smirked, pleased. "My reign of terror is successful!"

It earned him only annoyed looks from everyone, but what did they know? No imagination for the grand things in life.

"It's quiet now," said the other Time Lord, watching the Master with a look he couldn't quite identify. He even let go of the damn straw, letting it rest there, wet and sad. "We can use the time to finally get to those wounds of yours. Since we got so crudely interrupted before." He sniffed, obviously not happy with that memory.

Instinctively, the Master grabbed at the wound, feeling his hearts pulsate underneath his fingers. That would take a while to heal. "Yeah. I better get the bandages changed."

Not that he needed the Doctor's help for it, but he still felt relief when the other man stood up to follow him to the bedroom. It meant he still held some power over the idiot. And with every minute they shared alone and in comfortable silence the desire grew to make the Doctor see how much control he was under.

Together, they carefully stripped the bandages, tugging it away from damp skin and early healed flesh. The Master hissed a few times, his effort to not let any weakness show in vain.

The shot wound looked as nice as one would expect with a Time Lord's healing capacities. Dried blood decorated the edges, running down in ugly smears and ended in dried flakes somewhere near his groin.

"I need a shower," grumbled the Master. "You wait here. I'm not done with you yet."

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to protest, but then seemed to change his mind and closed it again, nodding slowly, once.

"Good." A sadistic smirk appeared on the Master's lips. He stretched a little to meet the Doctor's eyes and pointed his finger down. "Get back on your knees. And stay there."

Again it seemed as if the other Time Lord wanted to protest, for the fracture of a second. He hesitated, visibly weighing the options, running a calculation through his head about who had more power in this setting. The conclusion was clear, obvious in the way his eyes widened ever so slightly while he sank down, never breaking eye contact. Only the rustling of cloth broke the otherwise silence.

"Good," the Master purred again, smiling viciously.

He took in the sight a little longer, then left to have his long due shower that lasted way shorter than planned. He barely felt the hot water, only haphazardly scrubbing the blood from his body, watching with little interest how the red stream cleared after a while. He wondered if the Doctor would be able to taste the soap. Yes, taste. With his tongue around his dick. The thought alone made him half hard and he didn't interfere with the process.

The image hadn't left his mind ever since that stupid girl had made her stupid joke about it. This was the ultimate way to dominate the Doctor, to make him obedient, to humiliate him. And he knew the other one was too much of a coward to bite.

The hot water steamed the room, enough to make the mirror unusable, so the Master swiped away the vapour, glaring at his wet hair. Blond. Well, why not. He could work with that, maybe let it grow a little. The colour went well with the darker goatee. The regeneration energy had reached his facial hair too, but not as completely as his head. Before, his beard had been uniformly dark, now it sported a few specs of brighter hair, some at the bottom very close to being blonde. This would do. The asymmetry gave his face a more mature touch. A much needed addition to the rejuvenating hair colour. Somehow, overall, he did look a little younger now. Maybe a handful of years, not much, not extremely visible if you didn't look into that face every day.

Would the Doctor notice?

Nodding satisfied, the Master made a half hearted effort to dry himself in the too fluffy towel, carefully avoiding any touch to his groin. Oh no, no interference there. A cruel smirk met him in the mirror and his dick twitched with anticipation.

Good. Perfect.

The Master left the bathroom, still damp, the towel loosely draped over his shoulders and otherwise not wearing anything but his skin, now exposed to the cooler temperatures outside of the steam. It would rise, no doubt about that. A hint of heat already spread through him at the sight of the Doctor, on his knees like a good obedient dog. The sound of the door opening made him look up and his eyes took on a darker shade, wandering over the Master's body, lingering on the half mast before returning to his face.

"Oh no, you stay down there." A twitch had betrayed the intention to get up from the undoubtedly uncomfortable position. "You are exactly where I want you, my dear Doctor."

Tossing the damp towel aside, the Master stepped closer, stopping right in front of the other Time Lord. The height proved almost perfect, there on his knees, his face hovering close enough.

"M… Master?" The Doctor stammered.

"I will snap your neck if you dare to use your teeth in any way, understood?"

The Doctor's eyes wandered down, down the bare chest, following a lonely droplet of water that slowly made its way to where the Master's attention grew. Literally.

"Take me." His voice rumbled. "Be the little, obedient brat you used to be. Remember? Remember when you did whatever I told you?"

"Things are… different now." His thin voice did not betray the visible tent that grew in his trousers.

"Yeah, they are. But some things never change and you deserve punishment for playing with my toys. Now, Doctor. Take. Me."

This time, the Doctor obeyed. He scuttled forwards on his knees, letting his warm hands wander over the Master's thighs, curling around the hollow of his knees the same moment his breath ghosted over the Master's dick. He went slow, careful, his movements uncertain at first, then bolder. The Master barely stifled a groan when the warm tongue stroked along his foreskin, coaxing him to his full length with few movements.

Oh, this was good. Better than he had anticipated. The warm, wet heat of the Doctor's mouth engulfed him, swallowed him, slow, always moving, gradually sinking him deeper.

The Master let out a groan, fisting one hand in the other one's hair, guiding his head, making sure he wouldn't just retreat. Not that he would, the coward. No, the Doctor rather seemed to enjoy himself. He put effort in the way his tongue wrapped around the glans, swirling deliciously around the sensitive skin, then dipping right into the slit, making the Master gasp.

"You little slut. You did that before!" he rasped out and felt the grin spreading on the Doctor's face while he sucked him off.

And, oh! The bastard did use his teeth, ever so lightly scraping them along his shaft whenever he moved his head backwards. The Master, initially determined not to move, bucked his hips, unable to help himself. Those sensations tingled up his spine, rivuletting through his nervous system and landing right back in his groin, bringing him ever so closer to release.

He had no reason to hold back, no reason to slow down the building peak. A little longer, yes. To feel that tongue dancing around that vein running along almost his entire dick, to feel the heat of that wet mouth moving, sucking, scraping. Fuck! He almost came without a second thought, enraptured by the Doctor's ministrations. But not yet, not now, not before… he could, he should, buck his hips once more, his legs trembling slightly. So close. He could… yes, he could make his body do… he groaned, gripping the Doctor's hair tighter. He wanted him to gag, wanted to feel the surprise. He could allow his balls to produce sperms. Just this once, just to taint that stupidly skilled tongue that gave him so little time to think and he had to think fast because… ohhh, almost, almost. Control wore thin as the Doctor's tongue dipped into the slit of his glans again, playing with it, sucking and moving and fuck yes!

The Master bucked his hips forwards, buried himself deep inside the Doctor's throat and let loose, pulsating in the tight space, spilling hot white seed inside and down, down, down. The Doctor gagged, letting out a pathetic whimper around his throbbing dick, trying to retreat, surprised. Shocked? But the Master held his hair tightly, panting, dragging out every second, every sensation of those spurts leaving him. He had forgotten how great that actually felt and the whines from below made him twitch and pulse and shudder even longer and harder than in a long while.

When the last shocks finally subsided he pulled out, slow and making sure to drag himself along every inch of tongue that now rested, still after its previous action. The Master hoped he would leave a rest of cum on his way out, hoped the Doctor would remember his taste for a very long time.

The other Time Lord gasped for air, tears in his eyes and a mixture of rage and a truly re-arousing and very not-subtle hint of servility. The Master let go of the Doctor's sweaty hair, allowing him to properly get air again and wipe his mouth and eyes.

"You look like you could need a shower too, my dear," the Master purred.

"Ugh! That was… vile!" the Doctor protested meekly. His adam's-apple bobbed with every time he swallowed, once, twice. Maybe in the hopes to clear the taste. His hand came up to tug at his own jaw as if he had to readjust the damn thing.

"Good." The Master chuckled and dropped to his haunches, taking the Doctor's face in his hands, kissing those stupid, partially opened lips. And, indeed, he could taste himself there. With a satisfied grin he retreated only seconds later. "A hunter needs to mark his prey, don't you think?"

"Hunter!? What are you implying?" The indignance in that voice could have been almost cute if it weren't so pathetic.

"Because you always run away from me. I thought it was obvious. And I won't allow it any longer."

"Master…" The Doctor's hands came up to rest on the other one's chest, one above each heart. He swallowed, visibly searching for words, which was seldom. "You… do you… Can we just start from scratch? And uh… you forget about what an idiot I've been to mistrust you like that?"

The Master huffed and got up, holding a hand out to help the Doctor too. He then turned to the closet to put an end to his nakedness, at last." I told you that's not why I was angry at you."

"Yeah… yeah, right. But honestly, I'd do it again."

Closing the button on his pants the Master turned around, burning a murderous look into the other man's eyes. He took a swift step forwards and grabbed low, closing his fingers around the Doctor's crotch, not too hard, but not gentle either. The Doctor gasped, but didn't try to hide the erection he still sported. So the Master squeezed again, massaging him until he felt that boner grow to full size and then some. "Tell me you won't," he grunted into the taller man's ear. "You're not going to endanger my property again."

The Doctor answered with another gasp. He clung at the Master's shoulders, rocking into his kneading hand. "You wouldn't… ohhhh… you wouldn't. I know." Another squeeze and he whimpered, pressing himself more into the Master's fingers.

"You know nothing." He bit into that tender neck, softly, eliciting a mewl. "Otherwise you'd know I have a tendency to hurt the people around me. Didn't you hear?"

He probably had, but answering seemed to have left the Doctor's repertoire. He panted and groaned and his hips stuttered, losing all rhythm. And there the Master retreated his hand, holding himself far enough to let him rut against air, whimpering in protest, searching that last bit of friction he needed to tip over the edge. The Master wouldn't give it to him. He only glared into his eyes and then growled.

"Get out."

A strangled, questioning sound crept out of the Doctor's throat. His movements died down, although he couldn't quite halt them completely, too far gone, too close to release. "What do you…" he brought out, confused.

The Master shoved him away, a wicked mix of a grin and a snarl on his face as he pointed towards the door. "I said, get out!"

This time, the message was clear. A shaky breath left the Doctor, frustration and arousal radiating out of every pore. But he obeyed, turned around and, although walking funny, finally left the room.

The Master smirked, pleased with himself and the primitive, yet effective nature of his little punishment.

Notes:

Yes, it's my head canon that the Master never had a blow job because he is scared someone would bite him. It's too funny a thought, I can't help it.
Now lets wonder where that might come from. *looks at the Doctor*

My recommendation this time is a short comic called Sam Tyler Doesn’t Exist by CSG_Comics
It's a crossover of DW and Life on Mars.
I just like the style and the premise. The next chapter is still in the making.

Chapter 38: Part VI (XII)

Things settled down after an hour. The guards went through the crowd, searching every single person for weapons and other dangerous things. It took time, a lot of it, since there were so many of them and also because the scans were thorough. The Master didn't want anyone to have a chance to make a stupid move. And since his little stunt they all feared him too much to disobey.

I sat on top of the stairs, watching the process, watching how the site with checked people grew, while the other site didn't seem to shrink at all. How many were there?

The few hours in the library had helped a lot with my overstimulation. Everything was a lot more bearable now. I was still surprised, though. That the Master had actually researched what autism is just to know what to do if it affected me too much was… strange. With everyone else this would be sweet and a welcomed gesture, but with him? Did he have an underlying plan? Did he just want to make sure I would stay sane and alive until his drums got found?

I sighed quietly, knowing that no one would be able to give me an answer. My gaze wandered to the windows, watching the heavy rain that had put out the fires at least.

Half an hour ago we had heard another explosion outside, but again found no one who might have caused it. Both Time Lords were annoyed in their own way, one because he couldn't help, the other because he couldn't lay his hands around the culprit's neck and squeeze.

This whole situation was so strange. Somewhere out there or even among us were some terrorists who wanted to see us dead. Well, the Master, to be precise, but that didn't change a thing. Neither the Doctor, nor I would allow them to finish this job. Something I still couldn't wrap my head around.

I had killed people.

I didn't regret it. I knew that I would do it again immediately if I had to. But the weight that should settle in just… didn't. I felt nothing for those people. No guilt, no shame.

A woman sat next to me, tearing me out of my musings. She looked my age, give or take a few years. In her arms lay a struggling baby, nagging and half crying, making faces and fidgeting with its little limbs. The woman took out a bottle with milk and lowered it to the kid's mouth when a guard approached us, grabbing her arm so roughly that she shrieked.

"Civilians aren't allowed upstairs."

"I know. I just needed a quiet place to feed him."

"We can't make exceptions until everyone is checked, madam." The guard tried to be friendly. He even cast a help seeking glance at me, but I shrugged. "Come with us, then you can go back."

"But he's hungry!" Her outcry agitated the baby even more and it started whimpering. "Let me feed him first."

"No risks! You're coming with us. Now!"

The poor woman had no choice. Her eyes landed on me, with a pleading look in them. "Can you take him? You're with the mayor, aren't you? Please take care of him!" she begged, pressing the struggling baby and the bottle into my hands before the guards could drag her away.

Everything had happened so fast that it took me almost a minute to comprehend the situation. I looked down, blinking stupidly at the now crying child in my arms.

"Tzz, I let you out of sight and you get yourself knocked up. Should I get jealous?"

"Wha-?" I turned my head to see the Master approaching, slumping down next to me on the step. "That doesn't even make sense. And you stop screaming, little thing. Pass me that bottle, will ya?"

The Master did, but only with the stupidest grin on his face he could probably produce.

"And why the hell would you be jealous? You really make no sense sometimes." I shook my head and balanced the bottle with the kid. "And if this does make sense and it's something I don't remember, I'll rather keep it forgotten."

The Master snickered. "No, nothing of the sort. I couldn't resist a silly joke. You're fine."

I let out a sigh. At least the baby decided to drink now. For a second. Then it turned its head away and looked around, already starting to fidget again.

"Isn't it dangerous for you to be here?" I asked, nodding downstairs. "Someone could shoot."

"No." He leaned back, watching the crowd. A few people pointed at him. "See, there is an energy shield between us and them. Everything with a certain velocity or chemical structure gets vaporised  on touch. This place has some nifty security measurements." He chuckled and observed me still struggling, shaking his head. "You're doing it wrong. No wonder the thing keeps crying."

"'m not," I grumbled, scowling at the baby when it turned its head away from the bottle for the umpteenth time. "I fed my nephews a lot when they were little. I thought you were hungry. You won't get better if you don't drink, kiddo."

"And how long ago was that?"

If my hands would have been free I would have slapped his stupid arm. "Almost twenty years. But still…"

"Hold him a little higher. No, not like that. Tilt the head," he instructed, oozing with mirth. "Yeah, like that. And I know you hate eye contact, but keep it anyway."

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not with me, stupid, with that thing." He pointed at the baby.

Oh, right. I did and tried again with the bottle. And really, this time the child started drinking and kept at it, greedily sucking at the bottle as if it had been truly starving. Somehow it unnerved me how those little eyes kept watching me. What did the tiny boy expect? That I'd eat him if I looked away?

"Twenty years," the Master clicked his tongue and shook his head. "That's nothing. Try seven hundred."

"Seven hundred?"

"Keep eye contact, Lumin. And yes."

"Don't listen to him." The Doctor's voice came from behind us and he sat down next to the Master, blocking the last free space on the stairs. "You got your loom when she was five. You don't have to feed five-year-olds. Weeeeeeell, you do, but not with bottles."

Next to me, I felt the Master tense. Something shifted in his energy, got colder, distant. "Just shut the fuck up, Doctor."

"Oh, come on. I know it's a touchy subject, but be honest, what do you really remember? The council erased almost everything."

"Doctor, I warn you."

"What's a loom?" I asked and looked up and then quickly down again, remembering the staring infant in my arms. The bottle neared its end. "Oh, no wait. I've read about it." And then I couldn't help it and stared at the Master again. "Wait. You had a child?"

He scowled at me and this look could murder even the toughest person if hit unprepared. To my luck a guard came up to us and picked up the baby, nodding a thanks towards me, before vanishing. He provided enough distraction to suffocate the fight before it could even start. I wondered how many people downstairs had seen me and thought it might have been, although by accident, another good way to show them we were on their side.

My look wandered back to the Time Lords. They still stared at one another, ready to get into a fist fight as it seemed. The Doctor, for some reason, looked just as pissed off as the Master. But maybe that was just how they always were with one another.

And then Donna happened.

"Yeah, when do you finally tell us about your Dad-days, Mr grumpy? Don't make such a secret of it."

She obviously had heard us talk, now looming over the bannister, oblivious about how little the Master was willing to even think about it all.

"Dad-days?" repeated another voice. Vienna's.

I could feel the thread snap seconds before the Master sprang up, anger and hatred radiating from him like I had never felt before. A reminder. He was a dangerous person in every aspect and he could and would hurt people if it suited him. Or if they angered him enough.

I placed a hand on his arm, nodding downstairs. Would he snap here, everyone would witness. And, luckily, he had enough composure to calm down again. Somewhat. I still felt his anger, it seeped through the skin of his arm, through my hand and right into me. A lightning bolt in its unexpectedness.

For a moment he stared at me, perplexed, not saying a word. Then he rolled down his sleeves and nodded me to follow. The Doctor did too, although without an invitation, as did the two women. For now we didn't speak, just following. I wasn't even sure that had been his intention, but he didn't stop us either, walking straight to the kitchen.

It offered a nice assortment of kitchen devices and a rectangular table for six people, comfy wooden chairs, wooden ornaments on the walls, and a soft floor. Whoever had built this place knew how to make people feel comfy.

"So, are you going to tell us?" poked Donna. She either didn't see that he didn't want to or she didn't care. Both weren't particularly good for her health.

"I went here to get tea," growled the Master. "Not to be followed by a bunch of apes and an incompetent pilot."

"Oi! My piloting skills have done nothing to you!" the Doctor whined. "They don't even have anything to do with this!"

"Then buzz off, all of you."

"And miss the story of how you became a villain?" Vienna grinned widely at him and it wasn't a pleasant expression.

No one could stop him in time. And no one did more than subtly wince anyway when he hurled around, grabbing Vienna at her collar, twisting the cloth until she could barely breathe. Within a single moment it became clear that she was no match for him, even with all her training. The Master's strength exceeded hers and he did not treat her gently when he dragged her the few steps towards the door, shoving her outside.

"And stay out!" he screamed. "This is none of your business, Salvatori!"

She didn't get a chance to answer. The door slammed shut in front of her face and we all stared at the fuming Time Lord, shrinking under his threatening glares.

"That was a little rude, wasn't it?" Donna tried to lighten the situation with a smile.

"I don't care."

"Why's that bothering you so much, anyway?" Donna asked, picking a box with different tea bags from a shelf. "It's not that unlikely for people to have kids, yeah? Nothin' to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed," grumbled the Master, snatching the box out of her hands and fishing out two bags. "I just don't want to remember."

He produced two cups, put the bags in it and poured water over both, then turned around to hand me one. A smell of apple and cinnamon hit my nose. One of my favourite kinds. I took the cup, blinking perplexed. "Uh, thanks."

He narrowed his brows. "You're burning to hear more too, aren't you?"

I couldn't hide the apologetic grin and only shrugged.

The Doctor coughed, fidgeting with his screwdriver. "He can't tell us much, anyway. But I am curious how much you actually kept. Memories, I mean. I know the council let you keep some. As punishment."

With a growl the Master slumped down on a chair, clutching his mug with an increasingly unsettled look. "They erased everything from her tenth birthday on."

"Waaaaiiit a second!" Donna took place on another chair, far enough away to be out of reach. "You wanna tell me your government people erased the memories of your own child? How messed up's that?"

It surprised me that he hadn't thrown her out, too. Maybe he now wished he had, being bombarded by questions and lingering looks.

When she got no answer, Donna tried it again. But this time she only asked a single word.

"Why?"

"Why indeed," the Doctor mumbled. "It never made sense to me. But then again, no one can remember, right?"

"She got almost completely erased from existence. Whatever happened after that…" The Master swallowed. "But I know. Whatever fucked up reason they made up, it wasn't relevant."

"I still don't get it," Donna said.

"Master, what are you not telling me?" the Doctor asked carefully. "I know… something was always off about the whole thing. Why? Why did they erase her?"

For the first time I saw a glimpse of the raw pain the Master felt, it simmered inside his eyes. He let out a shaky breath, his eyes glued to his cup as if it could offer solace. "Just leave it be, will you?"

The Doctor, of course, didn't listen. "It never made much sense to me. Looming costs way too many resources. They never punish the children, only the parents and-"

"Because she wasn't."

The Doctor rambled on for a few moments until his brain caught up with the words he had just heard. "She… what do you mean? She wasn't what?"

"A loom, Doctor!" the Master ground out, looking up. "Eleya wasn't a loom."

Notes:

I think I hinted at this somewhere. But here we go! Tragic back story incoming........ soon™
You know this moment as a writer, when your mind wanders to this special place called: How can I hurt those characters the most and wouldn't that be fun!?
Yeaaaaaahhhh....

Let's see... I'm already loosing track of what I recommended so far, lol. Burnout really fucks up your memory.
*rustles through papers*
Ah... I think this will do

Here we have another ten/simm story called Fire by the author lohengreen
I think they are pretty well known, but I'll recommend it anyway for the off chance that anyone has not read this yet 🫠
This story is pure poetry. And the Master is such a prick, just how we love him.

Chapter 39: Part VI (XIII)

The Doctor gaped at the Master, mouth hanging slightly open. He didn't say a word for a long while, he even forgot to pour himself a cup of tea, the kettle still in his hand.

So, Donna took the opportunity instead. "The way you're sayin' it sounds like a scandal. Can't be that bad to have non artificial kids, right? Isn't it better?"

"Not on Gallifrey," mumbled the Master. "They are very specific about the gene pool and which traits are allowed to be inherited and whatnot."

"Sounds horrible, if you ask me."

"And gene engineering doesn't prevent half of what they hoped it would." He grinned, wickedly. "Look at me."

I snorted into my tea and earned a wink.

Finally, the Doctor broke out of his stupor, shaking his head lightly, setting the kettle down, discarded, forgotten. A small stream of vapour emerged from the opening. "But… How?"

Donna gave him a mocking smirk. "Do we need to explain it in simple terms? Bees and flowers?"

"I know how!" groaned the Doctor and slumped down in another chair, deflated. "Master, have you any idea how unlikely this is?"

The other Time Lord smiled, but it wasn't a pleasant expression. "Believe me, I do."

"Then…"

"Care to explain?" asked Donna. Her eyes practically glowed with curiosity. "An' don't tell me I'm too stupid or an ape or whatever, space boy! I do understand things!"

The Doctor winced at that, but the Master didn't budge. He took a good minute just staring into the air, taking a sip of his tea from time to time.

"Time Lords aren't fertile," I mumbled after a while and after it seemed clear that the Time Lord would not give an answer, willingly. "It's a rumor, but they say that when the ability to regenerate was spread, it also destroyed their ability to reproduce naturally. Blessing and curse at once."

What a fate. To be able to escape death, but to be unable to give new life either.

Somewhere outside an order got shouted. Rain poured down the windows.

"You really did your reading." The Master chuckled.

"On top of that," the Doctor added, "we can literally decide to… well, you know… uh…"

He fell silent, his face flushing to a darker shade of red.

"Oh, please, Doctor." The Master groaned. "Don't start spewing around stuff to boast and then get too embarrassed halfway through. How useless."

"Yeah, I didn't think this through."

"Well, then tell the class." The Master regarded him with a nasty grin that only grew the more the other one squirmed.

"C… can't you?"

"Nope!"

Donna sighed and shared a look with me, but I also had no clue. Well, maybe a suspicion. "They teach you to control your body functions from a young age on," I mused. "Including even stuff like hormone production, so… I guess this also includes sperm?"

The Doctor's face took on an even darker red shade and he visibly sunk together on the chair. Donna watched him, chuckling. The Master only rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, how can you still be so prude?" he teased. We're not a hundred and fifty anymore."

"Tha… that's not… 'm not… not prude," stuttered the Doctor, proving the perfect opposite. He sat up straight again, avoiding eye contact with everyone. "And you didn't explain. You always said you don't feel anything for Lellenama. It was political, was it not? Your father chose her for status. Or did you lie about that too?"

"Marriage for status?" Donna shook her head. "Your planet sounds less and less appealing, y'know that?" She waved her hands about. "All about status and genetics and that stuff! 'S horrible. That's what it is!"

"That's not even the worst part," said the Master. He looked out of the rain streaked window. "Which is reason enough not to recall any of it."

"But… how?" repeated the Doctor, ignoring the plea to be left alone.

"Just leave him be," I grumbled. "Doesn't do any good if you force him to remember painful stuff. And you never tell anything at all, either."

"Mhm, that's a bit of a double standard, isn't it?" said Donna. "But I'm flippin' curious, can't deny it."

The Master got up and glared at us all with a mixture of anger, hatred and defiance. "I just wanted tea, for fuck's sake. Not spill my entire past to you." But then his shoulders slumped and he ran a hand over his face. "Ah, crap. Whatever. But let's go somewhere else at least. This kitchen sucks."

"The library has a nice fireplace," I offered. "Y'all can go there."

His eyes snapped towards me, trying to drill right into the depths of my soul. "You are coming along. I'm not going to endure him alone." He poked a finger in the Doctor's direction, then moved it further. Donna winced subtly when his look hit her. "Fuck it, you too. You're annoyingly helpful sometimes."

"Why, of course I am. Donna to the rescue!"

"Don't…" The Master pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just don't. Or I will severely regret this."

---

.

---

So, here they were, sitting in the silence of what would be their home from now on. The Master glared at the woman in front of him, not with anger or hate, just in contemplation.

Lellenama had been chosen for him only after her first regeneration, despite being a perfect match for the family line. There was only one reason they hadn't chosen her sooner. Before, she had been a man.

The Master didn't understand. He really didn't. Their society had abandoned those old structures millenia ago and marriages were of purely functional nature. They were not supposed to love each other, nor to reproduce. They couldn't even. So why did they stick to that 'one male one female' nonsense? It stopped nattering anyway as soon as the marriage was done. If any of them regenerated into another gender now, no one would bat an eye.

The first years passed without notice. They did what they always did, had their jobs, their interests, their friends from before. They lived in the same estate and yet not together. No one had ever demanded of spouses to be close. So they weren't.

Not really.

Some evenings they sat together by the fireplace, reading or watching the red grass outside. Lela had proven to be quite the well versed conversationalist, after she had used her years at the academy to study mostly the philosophy of their people and that of other races as well. The Master had to admit that he enjoyed those evenings quite a lot, some days even looking forward to them. And after yet another few years, he couldn't imagine a life without those anymore.

Something he later regretted never telling her.

There was one evening in particular where they discussed the reproduction customs of ghelchas and gzantits, the life cycles and life spans of helinders and cabrastas and how they affected their architecture, when Lela suddenly fell quiet.

"What's on your mind?" the Master inquired. It didn't happen often that she hesitated to voice anything. A trait he secretly admired about her. It made discussions all the more exciting. In her he not only had a partner, but often also a rival in opinion and thought. Something the Master found rather enticing.

"I… just had a thought. A realization, actually. It's nothing important."

"It must be, if you squirm that much." He chuckled and wondered where that faint blush on her cheeks came from. Had she ever worn one like that? It suited the dark caramel tone of her skin, vanishing under the strands of red hair that grew down to her ears like a perfect frame of sunset.

"Since I regenerated… Well… I never quite… indulged in the possibilities of this body." And when the Master only raised a questioning brow, she coughed, looking away with a sly smile. "I never had sex as a woman."

"Oh."

He didn't know what else to say. This really wasn't a topic Time Lords were supposed to even think about. And his own experiences… well, they were limited to those days, long ago, in the fields of red grass and in the dorm, fooling around with the Doctor where no one would find and reprimand them.

"Did you ever…?" Lela asked carefully. She knew too well how much of a taboo this was. Their walls protected them from prying ears and with every other topic she delved deep into territory that the council might punish them for. But not now.

Now it was personal.

The Master nodded, but didn't say anything, didn't explain, didn't tell. And then it dawned on him why she would so much as mention the topic. Sure, they were married, but this wasn't part of it. It also wasn't overtly forbidden. It was just that no one actually did it, right?

Maybe it was his own curiosity, maybe it was the streak of rebelliousness that led him to the decision, but he ended up agreeing and not regretting it at all. Aside from the physical, he also got to know a more playful side of the woman that lived with him. She could be funny and a little childish. She loved to be a tease and try out things she only knew from books.

So they explored. And the exploration crept over to many other parts of their life. On free days they started to cook recipes from all around the galaxy, sometimes enjoying them, sometimes having a hard time keeping a single bite in. They planted a wellyng tree in their garden, knowing that no one had ever managed to have one thrive on their planet. She even helped the Master to play the odd prank on the Doctor.

"Aaaaw," made Donna, interrupting. "It actually sounds as if you were happy. Hard to believe, though. I bet you're telling only half of it."

"Shut up, matchstick. Of course it wasn't all flowers and sunshine."

Sometimes they fought, sometimes they avoided each other, once they didn't speak for an entire year. But in the end it somehow… worked.

Until one day Lela called him to come home early from a trip. She refused to elaborate and immediately, the Master was alarmed, because she never did that. Despite everything, they still mostly lived their own lives and neither of them would have called their relationship close.

Whatever the Master had anticipated, whatever horrible scenario his head might have painted on the way home, nothing in the universe could have prepared him for what he would hear her say in a voice so low and shy that the words barely reached his ears.

"I'm pregnant."

The words should make sense. They formed a coherent sentence. But to the Master they sounded like gibberish, a combination of letters that were never meant to be spoken in the same breath.

"That's impossible," he therefore just said.

"Just extraordinarily unlikely." Lela smiled. A shy expression, almost fearful, but not quite.

She led him to the study to show him different scans of her body, hormone levels and… a picture. A small black and white picture of a tiny bean inside a black space.

The Master stood there, frozen. For how long he didn't know. For once in his life the sense of time slipped from him so completely that he felt sick. He knew what they had to do, but speaking the words felt as if he had to tear them out of his throat, choking on his own breath.

"We need to get rid of it."

Lela nodded, one hand above the place where her womb lay. Their eyes met and hers were as uncertain as his. They knew the rules, they knew…

"Can… can we think this through?" she murmured.

"The council would never allow it."

But Lela smiled. "I'm not sure they would dare to deny a request to an Oakdown."

They most certainly would. The Master had more insight into their doings as she had. He knew how obsessed they were with purity and all that nonsense. The rules, the traditions. The things they said should and shouldn't be.

"Oakdown?" Donna's voice disrupted the Master again. "Is that your name?"

He sighed, leaning back in the arm chair. "The name of my house, yes. A family name, if you want."

"D'you have one too?" She looked at the Doctor.

"Of course I do! But it's not important anymore. The houses are all gone."

"What's your house name, then?" she pushed.

"I said it's no-"

"Lungbarrow." The Master gave him an evil grin. "Don't mope, Doctor. If my secrets get spilled here, a few of yours won't hurt."

The other man clearly saw it differently, sulking with folded arms in his chair.

They waited with their decision. A day passed, then another, then a week. Both of them couldn't name what made them stall.

The Master had never lost a single thought on children. Sure, since his father had been declared dead and had been uploaded to the matrix, it was clear they were expected to get themselves a loom at some point. But this… this was different. And most importantly, it was too much a risk. For both of them. For the entire house.

There was no way he would allow this child to be born.

 

Chapter 40: Part VI (XIV)

Another week passed and the Master found himself more and more distracted. He slipped and lost track of what he did. Small things. Errors that he could easily correct, but they shouldn't exist in the first place. No matter how hard he tried to keep his mind on the current tasks, he found himself wandering again and again.

That small black and white picture just wouldn't leave him. It refused to sink into the background like everything else usually did. Not even the faint drumming offered some distraction and for once they really could have been a little louder.

He didn't speak to Lela. He wasn't even home and stayed at the academy, in his study, avoiding students and professors alike. They were used to him being here anyway. For research, for studies. Graduating didn't equal having learned everything there was. Some stayed for centuries, afterwards.

He had to check anyway. If this was even possible. If he of all people had the questionable luck of being fertile. In some corner of his mind he had hoped that she might have gotten it somewhere else. There were no rules for these things.

It had just been part of trying out stuff. How would it feel? For her, for him. Would it change anything, yield different sensations? Curiosity be damned.

And now the result of it twitched and wriggled happily under the microscope, confirming what he had feared. His fault. Entire his. With how rare it was, he hadn't even considered the possibility. Neither had Lela, but it still was his.

His child.

Only once did he allow himself to sleep on an old sofa. The reward came in the form of dreams. Dreams of a small moving thing, barely the size of his thumb. Green eyes watched him, framed by red hair. And then… blood. Everything drowned in red, swallowed him and everything else too. And when the red finally faded and spit him out again he found himself on his knees, clutching a small black and white photograph. Empty.

And his dream spit him out again and back into a reality that didn't feel right anymore.

So he snuck into the academy's archives. Well, it wasn't properly sneaking, since he was allowed to be there anyway. And yet, he felt like a thief when he entered the rows of books that contained the information he seeked. Would anyone see him with this material it could become dangerous. But caution had never been an issue. The Master knew how to stay undetected if he truly wanted.

That night, he returned to his estate. Maybe everything would have resolved on its own already. Maybe it had been a mistake. Maybe Lela had dealt with the… issue… already. A thought that sent a sharp sting into his guts, a cruel reminder of that strange dream.

The estate welcomed him with warm lights and the faint sound of music coming from the library. The Master did his best to keep his steps slow, to not show even himself how much the dread of possibility hung over him. The door opened smoothly, without a sound, without resistance, and he almost stumbled inside, almost running the few steps to the fireplace. There she was, sitting in an armchair, one hand closed around a steaming mug, the other lying on her still flat belly.

Lela looked up when she heard the Master's steps. Uncertainty lingered in her eyes, but vanished as soon as he saw his face. His features must have given away his thoughts.

"Is it…?" HeHe locked over his dry lips, looking down at where her hand lay. "Did you…?"

"I haven't decided yet," murmured Lela. "I couldn't. Not without… you." And there she looked him straight in the eyes. "This is your child too, after all."

Yes, yes it was. The Master sank to his knees in front of her, placing his hands on her belly with a gentleness that surprised himself. He felt… awe.

"I have never… created anything." His voice cracked. "In all my life. This… this is real, isn't it? It's really part of me?"

Lela chuckled and encased his hands. "It is."

Those words broke something down inside of him. A wall crumpled to debris within seconds. "The council won't allow this to happen."

"I know." Lela nodded, her face serious. "I dug around myself. Forced regeneration is the punishment for this. It would destroy the child in the process."

The Master flinched. What a cruel fate for a being that hadn't had the chance to live yet. "We have to be careful, then," he heard himself saying. What a mess this might become. "I can request a loom when you're… when it is… ready. And then swap them."

Lela stayed silent for a full minute. "That would require you to kill the loom. Is there no other way?"

In that moment he admired how her voice stayed steady, how she clearly wished for another solution, without hesitating to do what would be necessary if there wasn't one.

"I… I don't know. I'll have to do some research, but it's dangerous. No one can find out I'm looking into this. And there is no guarantee…" He sighed. "In the end we might have to make that sacrifice. Keeping something real in exchange for… something else."

She didn't object. They both knew that looms were as real as a person could get, but she probably understood what the Master meant.

They would keep the child. None of them said it out loud, but they agreed. They both wanted this for reasons neither was able to fully understand. It all swirled through the Master's mind. The impossibility of it all. The improbable chance of even one of them being fertile. Both? Impossible. And if they had known they certainly would have been more careful. But it was so…

Impossible.

"It sure is," mumbled the Doctor. "I'm really tempted to ask if that's all made up for some scheme of yours, but…" He looked up, meeting the Master's eyes. "I think I can believe you on this."

The Master clicked his tongue, glaring upwards. No, he didn't seem to make anything up here. His voice weighed too heavy, his words strung too serious a tone. For a brief moment his gaze landed on me and something shone through it, something ancient and tinged with an unspoken sadness.

He sighed with the heaviness of centuries collapsing. "Why would I make this up, Doctor?"

"Because it's… impossible."

"Yeah…"

"Doesn't sound too improbable," said Donna. "How rare can it be? Your people had to stay alive after they got like that, didn't they? You'd 'ave gone extinct otherwise. Before your looms."

"Our population did suffer a big hit, according to history," said the Doctor. But we have a long life span. Even with just one regeneration. But I remember now… That was the time you 'moved to the country' for some years. Wasn't it?"

The Master grinned.

They needed to keep the pregnancy a secret. They needed a place to raise the child until the council would approve the loom. Here it was of great advantage to be wealthy. The Master purchased another, smaller estate near the Meadows of Arnacan, far away from the citadel. A few villages nestled against a river, the population consisting of simple Gallifreyans that had never seen the insides of the great academy.

They didn't mingle for the most part. High borns kept to their own and the rest… well… the Master saw no reason to interact with them. They lacked the mental finesse to hold a conversation he would enjoy and his mere social status made him wrinkle his nose in disgust at the sight of peasants. They were nosy and primitive compared to educated Time Lords. He also quickly missed the amenities a proper estate with a full staff offered, but having anyone at all near them posed too much of a risk. No one could know.

Especially not the Doctor.

"Oi! I wouldn't have said a word!"

"As if. You can't keep a secret and if it would cost all of reality itself."

"That… that is so not… not at all!"

"Yeahhhh… do I have to remind you how often we got into trouble with Borusa because you couldn't keep your mouth shut?"

They settled in. They waited. They watched Lela's belly grow in awe. Sometimes the Master still couldn't believe it. Their equipment showed them the child developed without complications, at least as far as they could tell. All of their knowledge came from books and archives, consulted in the shadows and the protection of night and disguises.

"A girl," Lela told him after another test. She smiled, fondly stroking over her belly. "We will have a daughter."

The Master nodded and stayed silent for a long while. Not because of disappointment, but because he couldn't wrap his head around what this would mean. If it would mean anything to all. Their society treated gender equally, for the most part. And yet, he knew that especially in their first regeneration it meant a lot for their development. The way hormones play with the brain. The initial gender gets ingrained in many ways, even though Time Lords didn't tend to stick to any sort of presentation. What for when it can change at any time?

But then he regarded himself and found he couldn't imagine being any different than now. He had grown up like this and found nothing wrong with it. His wife laughed at his concern.

"She'll be fine, don't worry." The bright laugh made her look pretty. "If you keep being so awe stricken by her mere existence, I'm sure you'll do great."

"I'm not!" the Master protested, smiling. "It's simply still so very, very impossible."

And then he kissed her, for the first time. Out of happiness and because he felt like it. Lela looked at him with amused confusion afterwards. It had been one thing, one unspoken line they had never crossed.

"Pfff, just admit that you loved her, in the end." Donna grinned.

"Heck, no! Why would I? We only ever came together for politics."

"So?"

The Master only glared at her.

Time continued as it tends to do. It wouldn't take long now. A loom had been requested and approved, although they hadn't been told when the process would be set in motion. Bureaucracy was prone to take a while and they prepared to wait for at least a year, if not longer. Time didn't matter much to them.

Usually.

"We should think of a name," said Lela one day as she basked in the second sun. The first had already vanished behind the horizon.

The Master looked up from a batch of study papers on the ground of their veranda. In the summers he loved to sit outside while studying. "Mhm… right. Any ideas?"

"I thought we make it a mix of our names. It's old custom and not widely used anymore, but not uncommon either."

Because she was part of poth of them.

They went through several ideas for a few days and then settled on one they were both satisfied with.

"Eleaoshamana," mumbled the Doctor. "I thought it was odd. Most people just take something from their family tree and add a few letters."

"Wait, what part of that is your name?" asked Donna. "Come on, we're friends, you can tell us!"

The Master regarded her with a nasty smirk. "We're not friends, Noble."

"Doctor!" she whined instead.

But the other Time Lord shook his head. "Even if I knew I wouldn't tell."

"You don't… how can you not know his name?" The fact seemed to disturbed her quite badly.

Her pleading look in my direction, however, kept unanswered. Somehow I didn't find it too odd.

"A Time Lord's full name," said the Master, while giving Dinna one of his death glares, "is as equally an equation as it is a song as it is a fact that is written into time itself. You don't just tell people."

"Alright, alright." She sighed. "So, you give short versions for other people?"

"Yeah. One shortened version is the official name. It's written in records and documents, etc. Then you can shorten it further, for convenience or for sound, or to match your rank, gender or just taste."

He didn't continue for a while and I wasn't sure he would at all. Of course, he had given us an account in short sentences, only adding few details here and the. The version of those events that must be playing in his head surely we're a lot more detailed. But I understood that he didn't want to share it all with us.

The loom got approved to be created in five years. Five years they would have to stay hidden and raise the child in secrecy. More than they had expected, but less than would be too annoying. In fact, both of them had started to enjoy this simpler life quite a bit. The Master still missed the amenities his title and status normally brought, but even he couldn't deny a certain tranquillity about the situation. It gave him room to plot and scheme grander things.

And then it was time and Lela suddenly collapsed with a cry. The Master was startled at first, but then quickly went into emergency mode and helped her into the bedroom where they had prepared a proper space for her. With some guidance she lay down on a mat, crying out once again.

Hours passed with her writhing and crying and yet, somehow still being able to be witty and even throwing in a joke here and there. The Master didn't quite know how to deal with seeing her like this. He hadn't expected to be distressed by witnessing his wife in so much pain, hadn't expected to feel sympathy. Fear even. From all he knew there was a chance she might die from this. And then what? Cut her open quickly, before regeneration could set in and kill the child?

A shiver ran down his spine, but he didn't say anything. He just sat with her, sleeves rolled up, a bowl with warm water next to him and other utensils he wasn't sure were needed or not. The whole situation made him at least ten times more uneasy than he had anticipated. After all, his only knowledge about child birth came from dusty books that didn't even cover his own species. What if he did it wrong? What if he hurt…

No, no, he needed to focus, needed to stay present. And from one moment to the next everything happened too fast for him to worry. He simply acted, went with his gut and then…

Blood.

A struggling bundle in his hands.

A cry.

Time stood still, an eternity passed. The Master glared at the tiny being in his hands, awe striking his hearts in a way he hadn't known was possible.

"Didn't know they come so wrinkly and slimey," he muttered. "No wonder they usually loom those things."

When the joke stayed unanswered he looked up, seeing Lela lying there with closed eyes, maybe asleep, maybe unconscious, but definitely still breathing. That was good. His gaze went down again to the still crying creature.

No, not creature.

"Hello, Eleya," he said softly. "Seems like you have to deal with me first. Let's get you cleaned, right?"

She responded to his voice, sniffing, but finally stopping the cry. He took some scissors to cut the cord and then carried his daughter to the bathroom, careful as if he had never held something more fragile. Every movement, every touch of him made him feel more and more in awe. The grime flew down the drain and underneath it appeared a little girl so beautiful he couldn't believe she was real. And when her eyes opened for the first time, meeting his, he knew that she had won both of his hearts.

"Did she survive?" asked Donna softly. "Your wife."

The Master looked up. He had been in thoughts since the moment he had confirmed the birth had been successful. Whatever else had been in his mind since then wouldn't make its way to our ears.

"Yes. They both did."

"And then? Could you hide all those years?"

They could. And at first it was easy to hide Eleya from the world. It got harder as she grew and got more curious. The house, luckily, was big enough, the garden wide and full of wonders for a young mind. The Master spent more time with her than he cared to admit, teaching about whatever she wanted to know. Even then she showed intelligence and understanding and the questions never stopped.

Eleya grew and there was no denying that she was his. Her stubborn nature, the cheeky attitude, the fact that she could name every flower in their garden by the time she hit her fifth birthday. Lela sometimes teased him, saying his reputation would be damaged for all of his lifes if anyone could see him like that. But he didn't care.

Then came the day their loom was ready. The Master got called to his estate and managed to program his own data into the process. Age, height, appearance. She needed to look as close to Eleya as possible, so no one would ask any questions. Outwardly, he behaved as if the whole thing was a nuisance to deal with and as if he only did it to keep the family line upright. Inside, he feared every second, watching the chamber anxiously as it slowly weaved a new child into being.

She didn't say much, as was typical. They needed a few weeks and also training to awaken their full potential. So he took the girl with him, feeling strange just by looking at her. And then he did something he wouldn't have done just some years ago.

"What happened to the loom?" asked the Doctor to break another minute of silence. He wouldn't get an answer for an even longer moment after that.

The Master let the loom live. But he brought her to the other side of the planet, where no one had ever heard his name or seen his face, where no one would look for an abandoned little child that, mentally, wasn't even awake yet. He left her there, in the middle of the night, sat her on the steps of a house and just… went away.

"Tch, what do you think?" the Master huffed. "I killed it, of course. They aren't even conscious or anything when they are fresh. You know that."

The Doctor shrunk and looked away, saying nothing. Not even Donna dared to toss in a quib or scold him or show any offense. I wasn't sure what to think or feel, either. The whole situation was tricky and grey.

The rest was a blur of happy days and not so happy ones. Remembering his own strict and rigid upbringing, the Master made sure to let Eleya do and experience the things that had been forbidden to him, to let her explore and learn whatever she wanted. But he and Lela also made sure to educate her on societal norms and their culture and everything a young time tot needed to know before entering the academy.

After the "loom" had been officially settled in their house they waited for another few months, just to lessen suspicions, and then returned to their own estate. It was time for Eleya to get into contact with children of proper upbringing, not the primitive ones from the village. They had been a less than ideal substitute, but were still better than isolation. Bribing the people to keep their mouths shut had proven to be disgustingly easy.

And so their daughter grew and showed everyone how much of a rascal she could be, how much intelligence her little mind held and how much she brightened the day of everyone she met. Not even the untempered schism managed to break into that, only leaving her with inspiration and an old new love for exploration and learning.

And then…

"It ends," muttered the Master. "The memories just stop. There are only blank gaps wherever they should be. Static."

"Yeah, I know how it feels," the Doctor agreed.

Donna sat straight, glaring at both of them. "You're tellin' me your people can actually, erase a person from time itself? And then only partially? How's that possible?"

"It just… is." The Master leaned against the fireplace, watching the flames dance. "You wouldn't understand it. Most Time Lords don't even know how it's done, although I have a few suspicions. Fact of the matter is… My daughter stopped existing from the first second of her tenth birthday on."

"Do you think they did that because someone found out about her origin?" mused the other Time Lord.

"Doubt it. With something like that they usually punish the parent alone, not the child."

"How old was she when they erased her?" Donna tapped a finger against her chin.

"I don't know. That's the thing. Since that day there could have been seconds or centuries. It's all gone, never happened. And since it's gone, no one, of course, remembers why it was done. Must have been bad, though. This is the hardest sentence a Time Lord can face."

"And yet they allowed you to keep some memories." The Doctor rose from his arm chair and approached his counterpart. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I wish I could have helped."

"Pshaw, as if!" The Master sent a seething glare over. "You never were around when your own head would be in trouble for it and don't say otherwise, because everything you did tells me otherwise."

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again, defeated.

"Now piss off, you lot." The Master folded his arms. "That's all you are going to get from me."

"But…"

"No, Doctor. It's enough. Go and… whatever." He waved his hands towards the door. "I'm sick of this place. Go and do your thing… Make up one of your stupid plans and get us out of here. I don't care. Just leave me alone."

Notes:

I'll leave it up to your imagination how much the Master actually told them and how much was only in his memory. ;D
Also, yes, it does make sense to have this perspective switch, even though it's still mainly a first person story... but we'll get to hat... soon™

Chapter 41: Part VI (XV)

Notes:

So... this part of the Master's backstory is concluded with the last chapter.
That whole thing haunted my head for quite some months if not longer. And yes... there is a reason why it comes up now ;D

"Wait," mumbled the Master. "No, not you two, just Lumin. Fuck off, Doctor. I don't need your puppy eyes now."

"Don't be a prick to her," warned Donna.

She always seemed to be worried about me and I wasn't sure whether I liked that or if it annoyed me.

"I can take care of myself," I grunted, folding my arms and slumping back into the armchair. "'n he won't hurt me, right?" His scowl told a different story, but I knew it to be true.

A moment's hesitation later, the two vanished from the library, leaving me alone with the Master. He leaned with one arm against the fireplace, looking into the flames, still and silent, like a statue. The orange light reminded me of the scene in the burning pantheon, his stretches out arms, the nasty grin, his demeanour that made everyone think it had been his doing.

Now, however, he looked defeated, broken almost.

"Something is wrong about this place."

It took a while for his words to register in my mind. Of course something had to be off, otherwise the TARDIS wouldn't have vanished. At least according to the Doctor. But that wasn't the most burning question on my mind anyway.

"Why did you tell that story?" No reaction. "It… appears you held it secret for all of your life. So… why now?"

"Hm, that is exactly the question, little one," he mused. With a weary sigh the Master turned his back to the fireplace, pressing a fist to his head. "It's been centuries since I even thought about it and all of a sudden it's as present in my mind as if it happened just yesterday."

"Huh, that's strange indeed."

"A bad omen."

Like the shadows on the walls, cast by the fire and the streaks of rain against the windows.

"Do you think something's messing with your mind?" Pulling up memories from long forgotten depths, maybe feeding on them, maybe just playing like a child with toys.

The Master grunted, not giving a proper answer. His hand sunk to his chest, above his healing heart. His eyes screwed shut, from pain, from concentration, from listening for a beating of four that never stopped.

"Why'd you want me here?" I mumbled. "'m sure the Doctor could help a lot more."

The Master grunted again. "But he is annoying." A sigh. "And if he gets us out of here I won't have to deal with all of this anymore and maybe the fucking drums FINALLY get quieter!"

I jumped at his sudden outburst. Startled, my hand clutched the armrests, palms sweaty. Danger radiated from the Master like an invisible black cloud, fogging the space between us, thick and heavy. I couldn't breathe, just stare.

And then it was gone and he sunk together even more, palms pressed against his eye sockets. The image melted into the background, became fuzzy, a scene from a play, not real life. I took a breath, deep, slow. Exhaled. And reality went back to normal, the dissociation subsided.

He wouldn't hurt me. I knew it. I felt it.

He simply didn't know where to go with all that pain and all those ancient memories, the constant noise and whatever else might plague him.

My body loosened up again and I stood. "Let me help," I offered. "That's what you wanted from me, isn't it?"

The Master lowered his hands, blinking through the pain at me, contemplating, calculating. Surprised. "What? No. I like your company, that's all."

And he didn't even lie. How strange. And stranger yet, how could I tell so easily what he felt? How came that I could name it even, where, usually, that was near to impossible for me. Something was off indeed with this place.

"I can still help." Another try. There was no reason to let him suffer if it was preventable, right?

But he didn't quite see it like that and only huffed. "What's in it for you then? Why do you offer? No one is selfless," he spat. "Don't even pretend."

At first I wanted to protest, but was he right? Lighting distracted me for a mere moment, the flash burning in my eyes. "Because… I can't stand seeing people suffer."

Another huff. "Bloody do-gooder."

Well, okay, that hit entirely in the wrong place somehow. "If you know me half as good as you pretend to do," I grumbled, "you know perfectly well that I'm not."

And that admission felt wrong on a whole new level. People want to be good, don't they? They don't feel like being punched in the face for having been called that. Their guts don't twist and their inner voice does not tell them that, no, you are not good at all. Not if you have any say in it.

A grin blossomed on the Master's face. Oh, he knew. "You saved one of my lives. That's a good deed, wouldn't you say?"

This time it was me who huffed. "I panicked. 'N I forgot you can cheat."

"Oh, just admit you wanted me to keep that handsome face."

"Yeaaaah, no." I stepped closer, glaring up at him with a challenging smirk. "I don't need to see that silly expression all day long."

"And yet," he folded his arms, leaning slightly down, "you don't leave and instead basically beg me to abuse your mind for my own good."

We glared at each other, a battle of amused challenge, a silly exchange of stubbornness. A storm fought within me, however, one that told me it couldn't be that he wanted me here for my company alone, that told me I wasn't enough, not who he needed. After all… "You're probably right. This's selfish." I looked away, broke eye contact. "I'm just human and have no clue about that mind stuff. The Doctor's a better help here."

"Eugh." The Master shivered dramatically. "No, he isn't! And I still don't want him anywhere near me right now."

"Well, that's not a good mindset for dating."

"Yes, because we are not dating!"

I laughed. "That's a weird way to describe whatever's going on between the two of you."

Everything so far told a very different story. And a pang of shame made me back away. A step. A single one. But it gave me enough distance. I had no idea what the hell I had just felt there for a second. That short moment when I had looked into his face, the cheeky smirk, the twinkling hazel eyes. A handsome face, yes. But not only that. The way he felt, the way his entire person drew me towards him in a way I had never felt before.

"Guess I just don't understand that weird dynamic you have." An admission that sounded way better than trying to put into words whatever else ran through my head.

Grinning, the Master leaned back against the fireplace. "We have been friends and enemies for longer than you are able to imagine, little light. I would be surprised if you would understand."

"Mhm… yeah. Sorry." I awkwardly laughed and took another step back. "It's probably better-"

"Oh no, you don't."

The Master grabbed my arm and dragged me back to him, close enough that my chest almost touched his. His grip loosened immediately, but he didn't let go, only leaning closer to catch my gaze when I wanted to avert it.

"Don't offer and then run away." The cheeky grin was back, as stupidly attractive as before. If he could feel my pulse speed up he didn't tell. His fingers spread around my head, thumbs lightly pressing against my temples, then slid lower cupping my face, stroking skin, sending a tingle through body and mind alike. "Do you want to make it quieter?"

I swallowed. Nodded. The tingling intensified. Oh no, this was no selfless act at all. Not when his touch meant such warmth, not when the bristle of his mind at the edges of mine felt like a gentle caress. I tried to remind myself of what I knew about him, of what a terrible person he actually was, that those calloused fingertips on my cheeks and neck had taken lives without hesitation. And it all didn't matter. None of it meant anything to me when a foreign presence slipped into mine, not foreign at all, but familiar, welcoming. Warm tendrils, smoke of pure consciousness, thoughts, emotions, images and impressions. Essence. And an ever repeating rhythm somewhere in the background.

I sighed, barely aware of how I leaned closer. Our foreheads touched and the connection grew stronger, making it harder to keep control over the knowledge of separation. I wanted closer, more, deeper, wanted to feel, wanted to…

I winced, shooting backwards without getting farther than a few millimetres. The Master looked at me, an eyebrow raised in question, lips slightly parted and I wanted…  wanted… bubble. Right, bubbles, seal it away, hide it, don't let him see, don't let him know!

"Now, that is new," he murmured, smirking. "It's so hard to embarrass you. What are you hiding?"

"N… nothing."

"Nonsense. That was a strong reaction. To what?" He nudged me with his mind, a playful tease. "Come on, tell me."

That damn smile. Another bubble swallowed what I thought of it.

"You know I'm capable enough to pop them if I really wanted." It wasn't a threat. He played a game. And he hated not knowing.

"You won't." My voice quivered a little, no matter the effort to keep it still. The drumming increased in volume, scratching at the edges of my hearing. Close enough to be real, far enough not to bother me.

"Mhm…" He closed his eyes and let his mind flow more freely, filling my being as much as mine filled his. How again did one breathe? He wanted to know. The curiosity seeped through me like strong liquor, tugging, probing, playfully pleading to be led in on the secret. "I won't laugh, promise. And I won't hate you either."

I couldn't. Couldn't tell. Couldn't breathe. Think. Sink. Bathe in the shared space. We were one anyway, what bad could it do?

"It's stupid," I laughed. "And it's just because of this connection thing, I bet."

"Is it?" His eyes twinkled. "Tell me."

"No? You'll hate me."

"Told you, I won't." His thumbs stroked over my cheeks, his mind flooded me with reassurance, his voice drowned me with its husky tone. "What's bothering you, my little light?"

That I wanted to be so much closer than we were. "I just… really want to… to kiss you."

There. It was out. My face glowed hot, my heart pumped backwards. Wrong move, wrong words, wrong thoughts! I squirmed in his grip, but he wouldn't let go of me.

"Is that so?" A smile crept to his lips. Another one of those that shouldn't be allowed. "You're right. It's probably the connection. After all… " His thumb gently stroked along my jaw, then over my bottom lip, making me shiver. "It gets stronger the more nerve endings touch. A part of you instinctively knows that."

I released a breath. Alright. Good. This was good. Nothing to be worried about. A perfectly natural expla- The Master grabbed my collar and hurled me around, pressing my back against the fireplace. I yelped, feeling the warm bricks press against me, my head only a finger's width away from hitting too far backwards. The flames reflected in his eyes, making them shine like endless pits, like portals to the stars, swallowing, taking, engulfing, demanding. He leaned down, closer, way too close. His nose brushed mine, hovering, waiting. I felt his breath on my lips, warm and by far too close to leave any room for interpretation, hovering.

But he didn't move.

"What about now?" He whispered, the words almost more felt than heard. "Is that urge still there?"

Shit. Crap. Wait. What? Why would it be gone? Why would it subside if he came so close? This was insane. I was trapped. And lost. And… I nodded. The incessant galloping of my heart rang in my ears, thudded in my throat. "Y… yeah."

"Good."

My thoughts got swallowed the moment he leaned in, his lips merely brushing mine, the touch light, coaxing. I opened my mouth, just a little, just to feel, to do something at all. My response seemed reassurance enough, so the Master got bolder, closed the tiny gap completely and pushed me backwards, letting go of my collar to instead take my face into his hands and kiss me properly. A vague thought told me to stop this, that it was wrong on too many levels, but at the same time I didn't care and responded to his movements, pressed closer, tasted him, melted into the touch, the warmth. And then I gasped into his mouth when another feeling washed over me, a presence that wasn't mine, but his, flooding my mind, my senses, reminding me that it actually had been missing.

Yes, we weren't connected at all when I asked you.

Oh, that teasing. Instinctively I wanted to back away, too shocked by what this meant. I couldn't get far, broke the kiss only enough to gasp for air and stare at the Master with wide eyes, heart racing.

Yeah, I'm afraid that came from yourself, not the connection.

His grin was nasty, still only a breath away from me, his lips brushing against mine, never completely stopping. I opened my mouth, leaning back in, letting him take the lead. He took it, pressed closer, moved harsher, swallowing an almost moan that slipped out of me. We melted, one, two separate beings as one, slipping, for just a moment, sinking too deep, but not deep enough that I lost all awareness, of his taste, his smell, my hands rumpling his sleeves as they clawed at him, holding him close and-

"Oh, fuck that!"

He was gone. It took a second to come back to my senses, to regain the familiar sensation of being alone in my head. I couldn't speak, only watch the Master fumble for something in his pocket.

A phone. He tapped the screen and lifted the device to his ear. "What is it, I'm busy!" He listened for an answer and annoyance spread on his features. "Yes and I told you to fix this mess, not make it worse. What did you even… Ugh… What? You can't be real."

Slowly my senses returned to normal and everything hit me at once. Had I just…? Yes, definitely. I could still feel his touch, his lips. I let out a quivering breath.

"No, I really don't care. And I have better things to do than… oh, you are serious then… Yeah, we're coming... Yes, she's with me. Now shut up."

With that he ended the call and angrily shoved the phone back into his pocket. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose, then cast a glance at me." Let's get back to the others."

I swallowed and nodded, averting his gaze.

"What?" he grumbled. "Spit it out."

"Uh…" I glared at my shoes. "S… sorry. For… you know."

A light fist bump on the top of my head made me look up again. The Master casually hovered over me, smirking. "Don't apologise for something I did, idiot."

I blinked, wanting to respond without knowing what.

"No time for that." The Master pushed himself away from the fireplace and nodded to the door. "Come along. Apparently, the world is ending or some nonsense. I don't want to miss that."

Notes:

Weeel, whoops! :D

Also, for the tiny chance that someone does not already binge this story, here is my recommendation of the uh... month?
(I can't keep up with regular things, sorry.)
My Queen of the Garden by aliceoakdown11

Seriously, if anyone isn't already reading this, I will come and haunt your dreams. This story has everything! (And yes, I'm too slow to keep up with those insanely detailed chapters <3) Anyway... it will keep you busy for some time ;D

Chapter 42: Part VI (XVI)

"The world ending?" I asked, following the Master out of the library. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "A hole in reality, an opening to the void. Something like that. Except that this doesn't happen. Well, not unless your little pet is involved."

I winced, remembering the tiny dragon that apparently held a strange kind of power and also connected me to that void place somehow. No one had implied so, but the more I thought about it the more obvious it seemed. "I don't feel anything."

"The Doctor is probably exaggerating. He loves to do that. Makes it easier to impress the girls." He spat out the last word, speeding up the steps a little.

The way to the others wasn't that far. It would take us maybe two or three minutes. Enough time to get lost in thoughts. And questions. So many questions.

"Your distress is too loud, tone it down." The Master groaned. "An apocalypse has never stopped me before and it won't stop me now."

"'s not that," I mumbled. For whatever odd reason the hole in reality didn't bother me too much.

The Master stopped and turned around, watching me with a calculating look. Every bit of warmth had vanished, replaced by something colder. No, not cold, closed off, protective.

I blinked, weirded out by that realisation and the fact that I could tell.

"Well, whatever it is, stop."

Did he feel me the same way I felt him? Those glimpses of emotions…

"Why'd you kiss me?" I mumbled, looking away, trying to sense anything from him. But if there had been anything like that he had shut it off now.

The Master shrugged. "Don't complain. You basically begged for it."

Well, okay, that was not what I had expected. Huffing, I shook my head. "What sort of bullshit reason is that?" He couldn't mean that, could he?

"Do I need a better reason?" A grin snapped to his lips, a little teasing.

"What, don't tell me that was your side of the deal." I tapped against my head. "I find your drums 'n you just do whatever I want?" I quibbed. "Would you get me a lion if I begged for one?"

The Master dipped his head to the site, then smirked. "I was just about to say no, but considering it would probably eat you and it would be hellishly funny to watch… I might consider it."

I glared at him with an open mouth until his facade crumbled into a laugh. He leaned down, flicking the site of my head. "But no, I'm not doing whatever you want, I do whatever I want, you little idiot. Although, with you, I actually prefer when it's mut-"

"There you are! Finally!" Vienna disrupted, sprinting towards us. "I really hope this isn't your work again, because if yes then I will throw you right into it."

The Master straightened and turned around. "Let's see first if whatever got your knickers in a twist is worth taking credit for."

Vienna marched ahead, leading us back into the room with all the monitors. It also had a big window at one side, allowing us a look at…

"It's creepy, innit?" asked Donna next to me.

Looming above us sat a sphere of pure blackness the size of a building, its edges frayed and ever moving, distorting its form over and over. Was it two- or three dimensional? It had no depth to perceive, no colour to name but dark. From the edges curled up smoke, heavy and oozing, rising only little before flowing down again, slimy droplets, evapourating long before they hit the ground below. A portal into the void, a maw, silently screaming with hunger.

A shiver ran down my spine at the sight.

Even the clouds didn't dare to come near the hole. Above it the sky was clear, illuminated by the fire of the sinking sun. The light didn't reach far, bending around the edges in impossible fractures.

"What is it?" I dared to ask.

"No idea," Donna said. "The Doctor doesn't know. And according to the soldiers it's nothin' the planet's seen before."

Said Time Lord sat in front of a pair of monitors, feet propped up on the table, arms folded tightly in front of his chest. A look graced his face that could make anyone frightened that didn't know him well. The monitors showed the trapped people on the lower floor. They too stared at the hole that hung above their heads, as if some terrorists wouldn't be enough already.

When the Doctor noticed the Master, he barely looked up, just rubbed his eyes with two fingers, sighing. "Please tell me that story of yours wasn't just a distraction. And please tell me what you were so busy with just now wasn't to put a giant hole into the sky."

The Master glowered at his counterpart, but decided to answer anyway. "Everything I told was true. And if you have to know, I was busy snogging her." He waved in my direction.

Unfair! I frowned at the Master, only getting a stupid grin in response. Putting me on the spot like that… in that moment I wanted that void to swallow me whole and never spit me out again. Everyone's eyes laid on me and I wrapped my arms around myself, a vain effort to protect myself from feeling so vulnerable and judged all of a sudden.

"It wasn't… I mean, yes, but… not like… you know…" I stammered, refusing to look at anyone.

The Doctor sighed in obvious relief, throwing his head back. "Alright. Good... good."

"I really don't see how that can be good," mumbled Vienna. She wrinkled her nose, shuddering.

Donna only smirked as if someone had let her in on a great secret. And somehow that reaction made me the most nervous out of all of them. How could they be so nonchalant about this? Except…

"Look, Master, I want to trust you. I really do," the Doctor insisted. "It's just hard, okay?"

"Well, you do have a point. Let's agree that I was maybe a little bit too cranky about your mistrust, and not only because of that, to be fair. There are things that are as equally as important, mind you."

The Doctor sighed. "Yes… I know, yes." For a brief second his look landed on me. He opened his mouth to say something, add something, maybe even shed light on this situation I couldn't entirely decode.

He never got the chance. Something happened to the hole. It pulsed suddenly, spitting out more darkness with every beat, the sound reverberating through the building, deep and unsettling. I could feel it in my body, hear and equally not hear it alike. Every single beat, getting stronger and louder.

One

The blackness dripped down in long, slimy streaks, now almost touching the ground. From below I could hear some people scream. Donna backed away from the window, her look so uncertain, her whole body tense.

Two

The Master suddenly clutched his head, groaning as his other hand grabbed for the edge of the table. The Doctor sprung up from the chair, shaking the other one's shoulder.

Three

A wave erupted from within the sphere, spreading within seconds, engulfing the mansion, the place outside, maybe the whole planet. Every single light went out, the computers and monitors died. Vienna drew her weapon, letting it power to full force. The energy inside it wasn't affected by the wave.

Four

At the last beat everything…

Stopped.

Time froze into a still image, the dripping suspended in motion, the pulse gone, replaced by deafening silence. A second when everyone held their breaths. The Master sighed, straightening again with the Doctor's support.

"Someone's there," muttered Donna with a feeble voice. "Look."

We did, crowding at the windows to look down to the yard, the place right below the black sphere. Someone… sat there. Cross legged and hands folded in their lap. From up here it was hard to tell, but didn't that figure look like…

"Mhm… I might have promised too much too soon." The Master rubbed his temple and wore a pained smirk on his lips when I looked up at him. "Let's go down. I want to have a word with… myself."

The Doctor glared at him, fists balled, mouth pressed to a thin line. But then he nodded and relaxed. "Yeah."

"But hoooow?" Donna called out, following us out of the room. "How can this be you?"

"Time travel?" He shrugged. "It's not supposed to happen, but it does anyway."

"And as long as you follow some rules," added the Doctor, "it's not too much of a problem."

We came closer, close enough to make out more details.

"It doesn't make sense," muttered Vienna. Her gaze wandered up and down from the strange frozen sphere to the man sitting below. "His hair… it's definitely not blond and if this's your past, then how come you don't remember? Unless, of course–" she lifted her gun slightly, just to make sure he could see it– "you're lying."

"Helloooooo?" he made, indignantly. "I'm a master of disguises. And colouring your hair isn't that hard. Really not. You do it all the time."

"Wha–? I'm not! This's my natural color, you prick."

"Yeah, riiight," he drawled.

Donna scoffed. "What sorta disguise's this supposed to be then? Feelin' old with the almost white, alien boy? Are we a little vain?"

"Oh, shut up, Noble," he grumbled, making her giggle.

The banter stopped immediately as soon as we reached the sphere. The Master below it looked up. He didn't greet us, he didn't smile. There wasn't even the usual amused smirk he seemed to like so much. No, instead, something unnatural emanated from him, something that made my skin crawl. Whatever had happened to him, had changed something so fundamental that he could barely be called the same person anymore. His looks also made a difference, his hair brown and shorter than I was used to, and he also was clean shaven instead of sporting the familiar goatee.

"Oh, hello there, Mister Saxon," mocked the Master. "What do we deserve the honour of?"

The figure stood up from the ground, his motions almost too smooth to be natural. No, definitely too smooth. And not only that, everything about him felt… empty.

"This isn't you," I mumbled, tugging at the Master's sleeve.

"No shit." His brows furrowed. "Vienna, do what I didn't pay you for."

The assassin stared at him for a second, then at his double and raised the gun. "For once I'm actually glad to obey."

The false Master grinned, the first expression on his face since we came down. "Oh, but Vienna, do you want to betray me? Not nice of you. Not at all."

She didn't hesitate, this time. The Doctor's shout came too late, drowned by the loud mechanical whir of the gun. Blue light shot through the darkness, throwing the second Master backwards, hitting straight in the chest. He stumbled, fell to his knees, bleeding… black smoke. A hole sat where his chest used to be, falling inwards, eating itself. And he… laughed, threw his head back and just… laughed.

None of us moved, the only thing that didn't hold its breath, that didn't just stop was this fake version of a Time Lord, slowly dissolving with maniacal sounds leaving his mouth, distorting with every passing second until it almost turned into screams of pain.

I shivered, daring a glance at the real man. He, too, stood frozen, his expression equally as curious as alarmed. Next to me the Doctor stepped forward, carefully approaching the black smouldering remains of what could barely be called a body anymore.

"What the heck was that?" he murmured, voice laced with shock. "You shouldn't have killed it. We didn't learn anything."

"It pretended to be me. What else do you want to know?"

"If it even wanted to harm us, for a start," nagged Donna. "Y'all are first shoot then talk, that's rubbish an' you know it."

"I'd shoot the real thing too, anytime," quibbed Vieanna. "But it seems like no one is paying me anymore."

The Master rolled his eyes and stepped forward, looking up for a moment. The black sphere still lingered above our heads, a dark, foreboding giant. My own gaze lingered at it, long enough for me to get caught off guard by everything happening all at once all of a sudden. The sphere exploded. The shock wave and deep vibrations ringing in my ears, deafening. The planet got swallowed by blackness, tendrils of dark wrapping around buildings, trees and everything they could grab, dissolving it all into smoke. We stood in a reflective lake of ink, the sphere our only light, painting such an eerie picture that it took me a moment to realize that the Master had closed the distance.

His double wasn't dead. As soon as he was in reach it shot up, cracked and bent, head hanging backwards like that of a broken puppet. It reached out, rising from the ground, dripping with black. Another shot from Vienna's gun made it stumble backwards, but the figure raised a hand, pointing blindly in her direction. A black tendril shot from the inky ground, wrapping around the weapon to swallow it, but Vienna tore it free at the last moment.

The energy of her second shot rippled through the figure, its movements jittered, halted and then it dissolved into smoke too, but not entirely. No. Instead, it rebuilt itself into a new form, broken bones cracking, stretching, transforming. From the smoke grew a woman, clad in black robes, red flowing hair contrasting the darkness all around. Her features were fine, as if drawn with a knife and yet soft, vulnerable. She was a little smaller than the Master, but her posture emanated at least as much confidence and power as he himself wielded.

"Who are you?" he growled at her. "Why do you copy me? Why did you hire Salvatori to kill me?"

The woman smirked. Did she hover? Her flowing black robe didn't allow me to see her feet.

"Hey," interrupted the Doctor. Donna squeezed his arm before he stepped forward. Only a few steps, staying behind the Master and I. "Let's talk, okay? We mean no harm and whatever grudge you hold against him, I'm sure we can find an errr… unbloody solution?"

The woman turned her head, scanning the Time Lord up and down. When she spoke her voice was strangely soft, the rhythm of her words like a melody whispered in the still air. "I remember you. The man who vanished long before running away. You are the memory of warm summer evenings in the still grass, the taste of innocence when all you knew were walls and rules."

"How…" The Doctor swallowed, exchanging a look with the Master. "How do you know me?"

"And what do you want from us?" growled the Master. "What did you do to this world?"

Her voice echoed through the blackness, sharper now, without losing the singing like cadence. "You ask as if your hearts would care, you who has been given to death, you, who has embraced her call like few before."

He grimaced, taking a single step closer. "Well, then you know not to play with me. Answer and then fuck off."

The woman hovered there, red hair flowing, dark dress floating, her face still and ever moving at once. Then she nodded. And with one move that came too fast for anyone to react she pierced her hand forward, ramming a sword of black smoke right through one of the Master's hearts.

Somewhere there came a scream, multiple, footsteps on wet ink. The Master's eyes widened in surprise, then shock as he sank to the ground, hand pressing against the wound from which blood shot out faster than he could stop. The blade had dissolved, the woman kneeled down, taking his face into her hands. "You don't know. And you can't," she whispered, her voice now so low that only I could hear it. But I couldn't move, frozen and held by the black smoke. "It does not matter anymore. What is done is done." She moved his head lower and breathed a kiss to his head.

The blade formed again when she stretched out one arm, short as a knife this time and there was nothing I could do. No movement, no scream, nothing, nothing, nothing. Just frozen. I struggled, twisted, but it was no use, the darkness wouldn't let me go, wouldn't let me speak or scream.

No! Don't do it! I need him!

Darkness dripped from the blade. She lowered it above his undamaged heart. "Farewell, father."

Something crashed against her hand, ripping the blade from her fingers. The space between her and the Master exploded in flames, throwing her backwards. Suddenly my body could move again and I ran, ran as fast as I could and was still too slow. The Doctor reached the Master first, turned him around and pressed both hands against the bubbling wound. Another fiery explosion prevented the woman from getting back and then I finally could see what had attacked her.

The little dragon. Only that it wasn't as little anymore. Its size had increased to that of a lion and he used all of it to protect and shield us, spitting balls of exploding fire as soon as the woman made any attempt to come closer. The flames couldn't touch her, but it was enough. A barrier.

She stood straight, glaring at us one last time and then just… vanished. She faded into blackness and with her the sphere, the ink and the darkness vanished too, spitting us out onto the mansion's yard, into the pouring rain and the night and the now uncanny noises of reality.

And then there came another noise. One that made all of us look up and sigh in relief.

The TARDIS returned.

Notes:

In case you haven't noticed my trend of tossing plot at you only to let you writhe and squirm for a while after... This is such a case. *evil laugh*

 

My newest recommendation comes from my favourite author of all times. They just published a new story and the first chapters are out already. It's a Rose/Master story. (Although this is the opposite of romance right now... but knowing their stories, I expect some amazing twists and turns)
Check it out and leave them some love
Enemy Mine by CrossMyHearts

Chapter 43: Part VII - A forest of silence

Notes:

Whooops, it's been a while again...

"How're you feelin'?"

I looked up and recognized Donna. She stood in the doorframe to the med bay, peeking in. When I didn't move she sauntered over and lay a hand on my shoulder. "He'll be alright. Give yourself some rest, Lucy."

We both looked at the bed in front of me. A blue glowing screen showed numbers and signs I couldn't understand.  The Master lay there, on his back, with closed eyes and breathing slow and regular. A thin metal arm snuck back and forth over his chest, emitting a faint light filled with moving particles. The alien tech helped him heal. The wound in itself was fatal and yet it wouldn't be as drastic as the first shot from before.

The Doctor had reassured me that everything would be fine, but it would take time. A day maybe, and then everything would be healed. No scars.

Two times a broken heart. It made me wonder if that really could be a coincidence and my hand wandered to the spot on my shoulder where the bullet had shot through. It too had healed. Almost. The Doctor didn't want to give me a too strong dose of whatever he had used. Too much radiation for a human body, apparently. But it didn't hurt anymore. And some vain part of me quite liked the idea of keeping a scar from this.

I sighed and nodded, casting one glance back at the unconscious Time Lord before following Donna out of the med bay and into the kitchen. We made tea and sat on opposite sides of the table. The silence dragged comfortably between us while our mugs emitted sweet vapour. I tried to breathe regularly and dispel the tightness in my chest. Everything would be alright, no damage left.

"So, Kira vanished again?" Donna finally disrupted my thoughts.

"Who?"

"Your little dragon. Well, little might be the wrong word now. He seems to have grown, hasn't he?"

"Oh… yeah. Or… actually no. It sat in my room before I went to the med bay n' it was definitely rat-sized again."

"Huh? Peculiar. He can change size!"

"Mhm… apparently. And it's really a dragon? A real one?" I raised a brow.

"Technically?" Donna shrugged. "The Doctor said it's some species that's known for millennia or somethin'. Forgot what he called them. But no one knows much about how they live and stuff."

"What's it doing with me then?"

And Donna told me what she remembered from what she herself had been told about an adventure I had with the Time Lords, long before she herself had travelled with us. The whole thing sounded far more dangerous and adventurous than anything I had ever done in my life. But I couldn't tell how much she exaggerated things.

"But say, how're you feelin'?"

I blinked at her stupidly, uncertain which kind of answer she wanted to hear. "Uh… I told you? It's healing and nothing else is wounded."

"No, I mean how are you feelin'? Your memories gone, everything new and strange and then the whole thing on the planet. Are you alright?"

I froze, not having a clue how to answer this. People don't just ask that. Not unless they want something from you. But there was nothing I could do or give to her, so this seemed to be a genuine question, wasn't it? The thought alone took me off guard.

"Err… I think so. It's all strange, but something in me seems to be already used to it. Must be. The… me before all of this definitely would have had a meltdown by now."

"Mhm, the Doctor said something like that too. 'S only the direct events that seem to be missin' from your head. Something 'bout his bloody lab results." She waved the thought away and smiled. "Too much techno babble that one."

"Heh, yeah." I timidly smiled back. "Could he sort out whatever's happening on the planet?" There still had been a riot going on, after all.

"Mhm… Somewhat, I think." She sipped her tea. "Politics there seem to be complicated and the Master meddling didn't help much. But he said somethin' like 'they need to sort this out on their own, can't interfere too much' somethin' like that. Time travel and time lines and the natural progress of civilisations." She let out a laugh. "Didn't understand half of it."

Donna kept talking for a while, about everything and nothing, obviously content with me barely listening and just nodding politely here and there. She was right… there barely had been any time for me to process it all. Maybe that was what I needed? A break from all this madness, from all these people I barely knew, despite them knowing me. This was just too unnerving.

---

.

---

Some days later I spoke to the Doctor while he tinkered with something on the console. His oil smeared face appeared from somewhere underneath it. "You sure?"

"Yeah." I solemnly nodded, hands stuffed deep into my pockets. "I mean… You've got a time machine. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

He giggled, wiping his face and smearing the oil to even more places. "Sure, sure. I'm not objecting, you're a free person and all. But say, can you do me a favour before? Haven't seen the Master anywhere all day. He's vanished from the med bay, of course he would…" A deep sigh. "He refuses to tell me if he knows anything about anything. And he doesn't tell me who that woman was. No idea if he knows, but-"

"He didn't tell?" I interrupted, a little dumbstruck. Apparently, no one but me had stood close enough to hear what she had said to him.

"Noooo, of course not. The stubborn idiot." The Doctor groaned, glancing at his console with pursed lips. He looked up after a moment. "The TARDIS doesn't tell me where he is. Maybe you have more luck. Just… tell him I'm worried. And he can talk to me. Like… actually talk. We don't have to fight all the time. But I think that's a lost cause." Sighing, he lay down the wrench and ducked below the console again, his voice muffled now. "I'll take you whenever you're ready."

I didn't respond. Over the hammering and banging he produced he wouldn't hear me anyway.

The TARDIS helped. She drew a path of faint golden light on her floors to guide me through hexagonal corridors until I ended up in front of a simple door. My heart leapt to my throat when I stretched out  a hand to enter. A light electric tingling danced from the handle and through my fingers, feeling reassuring, soothing. But I really didn't know if the ship's upbeating nudge was of much help.

I entered anyway, finding myself in the same forest I remembered having woken up in. Strange how long ago that seemed already. A small, personal eternity in which everything I thought I knew changed over and over again until I had lost any means to tell what was actually true or not.

The forest stretched on for longer than I remembered. Green and trees and smells and noises of foliage. The first thing I had noticed. And before… nothing. A short, sharp pain in my head reminded me not to try. Nothing but physical anguish waited in that void.

The Master came into sight eventually. He sat on the mossy ground, leaned against the biggest, oldest tree in this place, looking upwards with closed eyes. The cables of a pair of earplugs hung over his red T-shirt, vanishing inside a black leather jacket. It almost looked as if he would sleep, but I could feel him being alert. A subtle shift in his posture told me he also was aware of my presence as much as I of his.

He didn't budge, however, maybe hoping he could fool me and I would run off again, but I had no intention to do so. Not only because of the Doctor, but because I wanted answers. Answers, only one person could give me.

The Master still made no move and so I stubbornly slumped down in front of him, making myself comfortable in the soft moss. A hint of amusement hit me, clearly not mine, but I made sure to throw it right back at him. His reaction confirmed that he, too, felt me on some level. The Master started to snicker childishly before opening one eye.

"You couldn't sit this out if your life depended on it," he mocked. "You'll get all antsy and squirmy iiiiin… three minutes, tops."

"Oi! That's so not true!" Okay, it was. Which didn't mean he had to rub it in my face like that.

"Alright." He straightened his back, tugged the earplugs out and glared at me. "If you can make it ten minutes without moving, you win and I'll actually do one thing for you. Whatever it is."

Well, if that wasn't an opportunity. He felt way too certain about this.

"Ten… that sounds doable," I scoffed and relaxed, closing my eyes.

Another waft of amusement flew my way, but I ignored it. Breathe. Just breathe. I focused, inhaled, then exhaled… repeat. After a while, my left foot started to itch and I ignored it. Then it got to my ankle, then a spot on my head tingled a little. Half the time had to be over, for sure. I could make it. This wasn't too bad. Focus on your breath. That damn itching really got on my nerves. Now it sat on another spot, close to my ear. My feet almost cramped from my effort not to move them.

"Not bad. You already managed two minutes."

"What!?" I called out. "That can't have been…. aaaaaw fuck." I groaned, enduring his stupid giggles.

"What do you even want here? Did the bloody ship bring you again? She loves doing that." The Master stroked over his beard that didn't look as neat as it normally did. An additional spray of stubble adorned his jaw and his hair looked tousled. No, he clearly didn't look as composed as I was used to.

"You alright?" I muttered. "After that…" I pointed at his chest, but didn't speak only of the physical wound that proved no big problem to both, his biology and the tech on the TARDIS. I knew that other kinds of wounds tended to heal a lot less efficiently.

"Yeah, sure. Superior and all that, remember?" He waved my concerns away as if they were nothing. I also felt how he closed himself off again, not letting me feel anything.

"Not what I meant and you know it. I heard what that woman said. Seems like no one else did."

The Master exhaled slowly, some tension he had held the whole time now visibly left him. And with it he also seemed to grow tired, burying his face in one hand. "Good."

Was that the reason he hid in here? It must have been on his mind the entire time and having everyone ask about it surely wouldn't make it better. But damn it, I was curious.

"Can she be…?"

His head snapped up and his look drilled into me, scolding hot with anger. "No! No it can not! I told you they… She doesn't exist anymore. It's not possible. It just… it isn't." And there his voice finally broke. "Let me believe that it isn't."

That visceral reaction startled me.

"Then what… was that?"

"Some fucked up void shit." The Master ran a hand over his face. Had he looked that damn tired the whole time already? "It must have dragged this out of my memories and used them against me. That's why it was on my mind in the first place. I told you something is fishy about this."

Yes, he had. Everything on that planet had been weird, one way or the other. That creature had pretended to be him, had hired Vienna to literally execute the Master and had then tried it itself.

It had turned the whole world into a horrifying patch of void and all consuming black and smoke and swirling tendrils…

The Master winced, his face turned into a grimace. "Don't think about it," he growled.

"You feel it too, don't you?" I snapped out of those thoughts and focused on him again, his stare and the outright disheveled appearance of his.

"No idea what you mean."

"Well." He wasn't the only one who could do the nasty grin. "Then me getting spooked by haunting images shouldn't bother you."

He sneered at me, clearly not liking the path this conversation took. "It's nothing. Don't think about it."

"Yeaaah… and this nothing allows me to pick up on your emotions here and there? Which I, by the way, never asked for."

"Yeah, neither did I, stop complaining." The Master growled and rubbed the side of his head with his palm as if to soothe an ache.

"So… what is it?"

"I said, leave it be."

"No?" I let out a laugh, not because I found it funny, just for the absurdity of the situation.

The Master groaned and heaved himself from the ground, using the tree as an aid and then stretching a hand out to me. I blinked in confusion. What did he plan? My body was torn between freezing and just crawling away from him and a moment later his face fell.

"I won't hurt you," he reassured, his voice way too soothing for my taste. "I know you have all the reasons to distrust me, but I can't really have a look on my own, so…"

He wriggled his fingers in invitation and this time I let him draw me to my feet. Only, when he stretched out his hands it hit me what he actually wanted to do and I backed away immediately.

"You want inside my head, don't you?"

"Well, obviously." He shrugged.

I squirmed, fiddling with my hands. This never felt any bad, but it also was so much more intimate than anything I knew of. And he still didn't show his true motives. One day he kept me a prisoner, the next day he studied my behaviour as if I were a lab rat, then he was all nice and then there was also tha kiss. Whatever was going on, he clearly played some really messed up game with me, so I shook my head and stepped back. "Can't you find out another way?"

The Master snorted and regarded me with a disparaging glare. "It's a mental phenomena, in case your little ape brain hasn't caught up yet," he sneered.

"Yeah, but… I never know what exactly you do in there." I tapped my head. "I don't even know if you're hurting me without me knowing!"

The Master almost sprung forward, snapping his face in my direction. "If I wanted to hurt you, little one, I would. And I wouldn't make a secret of it. It's what I do best." I yelped when he stabbed a finger at my shoulder, boring right into the spot where the bullet had hit. Not much pain came from it, but the mere force and surprise got me. "I would watch you writhe and scream and would enjoy every second of that."

"Feeling so much better about this now, thanks," I grumbled, rubbing my shoulder. "Why don't you just tell me what you even want to look for, first?"

A glimmer of anger flew my way, hot and seething, burning deep, so deep it made my breath shudder. The Master reached a hand out, but I stumbled away and fumbled in my pocket, drawing out his laser screwdriver to point it at his owner. "D-don't touch me," I demanded, hand shaking lightly.

The Master froze, his gaze wandering between my face and the screwdriver. The device was dangerous enough to hurt even him and he knew it, so, after a moment of contemplation he stepped back, smacking his lips. "Ah, there it is. I should have expected that you would keep it." Suddenly he chuckled. "Feels great to have a weapon, doesn't it?"

I let out a breath, gripping the cold metal firmly. "I'm not sure I'd even use it. But don't make us find out, okay?" A truce, I just wanted to be on even grounds and not so bloody scared anymore.

Something glinted in his eyes. And this time I felt something akin to… admiration? The Master slowly nodded.

"Okay, right." I took another deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "Y… you… suspect something. And you want to confirm it, right?" He nodded and so I asked, "What is it?"

"I'm not sure," the Master confessed. For some reason he still stood there as if he was in charge. "And we won't be sure if you don't let me look."

"Don't care." I squinted at him and felt another bout of anger, one that wasn't directed at me, but at himself. "It's super unnerving to feel your emotions."

"Likewise." He grinned. "Yours are all over the place. Do you even know yourself what's going on inside your head?"

I bit my lip. He must know that I didn't, that this had always been difficult for me.

"Then let me tell you." His voice sounded so strangely soft and I felt… warmth, affection even. He chuckled. "Yeah, that confuses you even more, doesn't it? And you think you are scared, but that fear isn't nearly as strong as you believe it to be. You are actually more scared of your capability to use that thing than you are of me. Which is just slightly insulting, but I'll let it slip for once." He stepped closer, slowly and his voice got even softer. "You can't be properly scared anymore. Too many people did too many bad things to you and it all just numbed you, turned you apathetic towards suffering. You just take it, no questions asked. And your mind pushes it so far away that it can't reach your consciousness anymore. So yes… " He took another step and gently took my hand and slipped his screwdriver out of my fingers, watching me with that admiring look. "You could use this. You would. And you have. More than once."

"I… I knew all that," I muttered meekly. "

"Sure you did." The Master winked, tossed the screwdriver up and caught it with a dramatic gesture before lightly tapping my head with it. "This might be some residue from connecting our minds and maybe not separating correctly. It's rare, but it can happen. In that case I would have to cut the line, so to speak, and close the holes."

"And that was so hard to explain?" I grumbled.

"No, but it's only one of many possibilities. The others are…"

"What?"

"Well, a little more complicated. And due to the nature of what we are experiencing here, it's more likely that somehow we formed some sort of… bond." I raised a brow. "Yeah… I'm not too thrilled either. If that's the case, however, it's still incomplete, so not too much reason for concern."

"'S not active when we're not in the same room."

"Yeah, distance seems to be a big factor. But I'm pretty sure it's possible to just shield our minds."

"Shielding, mhm. That would be good, but… Can't you just get rid of it?"

The Master stopped twirling his screwdriver and stared at me. "Why?"

"Cause it's creepy?" I offered. "And why the heck would I want to be bound to you like that?"

I didn't expect the pain. It spread from my chest through my throat and settled somewhere deep inside my body, so deep that I had to fight tears for a second. The Master's face stayed still, he didn't even blink, and a second later the emotion vanished, blocked off so completely that I felt nothing at all seep through anymore.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Why would you, indeed."

I had trouble speaking, processing. Everything was just too much. All of this. "I… well, it doesn't matter anyway. I guess." I couldn't look at him, just backed away some more. "Maybe it'll cut off on its own soon."

"How so?" His voice sounded so cold, it almost made me shiver.

I only shook my head, not knowing exactly why. I just knew I needed to get away. "'M not staying here," I muttered and half turned around. "The Doctor'll bring me home."

At that moment I was glad that he had closed himself off and also scared at the same time that he truly might feel nothing at all because of this. I didn't ask. I couldn't face it. And so I turned around and almost ran out of the forest, determined to never look back.

And I didn't.

Chapter 44: Part VII (II)

Donna hugged me tight, squeezing my shoulder almost painfully. "I'll miss you," she said. "But I totally get it."

When she drew away she wore a warm smile on her face. Always so caring and concerned and just there, without demanding anything in return. How strange. I had been sure humans like that couldn't actually exist and were simply an invention of television to give people something to dream about. But no, here she stood, good, precious Donna.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too. But I really need some time away from this stuff." I waved into the room, hoping to encapsulate the entirety of not only the TARDIS, but also everyone inside and also everything that had happened here.

"Told ya. I get it." She squeezed my shoulder again with one hand, smiling.

The TARDIS shook, making us stumble backwards and against a banister.

"Doctooor!" Donna whined. "Can this thing really not land any gentler for once?"

"Sorry!" He hopped from lever to lever, button to button. "Really sorry. But…" His foot hit another lever in an angle that shouldn't be possible for a humanoid body, alien or not. "That time is just too full of… of…. Oh, just stuff. You'll see."

"Great, I mumbled. Gives me some real hope for the future."

Donna chuckled and nudged me. The ship groaned, then stilled and the Doctor finally bounced over to us, grinning at first, then dropping the expression to replace it with concern. "Will you be alright, Lucy? You err… weren't in the best of places when the M… when you joined us." His eyes fell down to where my wrists lay hidden under the sleeves of a black hoodie. The scars there served as a constant reminder of what he hadn't said out loud.

Are you stable enough not to try something stupid again?

"Mhm… yah… I think so. I'll call my father and see if I can spend a few weeks with him and my sis'."

"Good. Don't be all alone." He beamed and rummaged around in his pockets. Tongue between his teeth, he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that he handed to me. "Here. It's a phone number. For the TARDIS, you know. Oh actually, give me yours I can-" he ran his sonic over the back of my smartphone. The back came off and he put a tiny chip inside before sealing it up again. "There you go. Reception wherever and whenever you are," he said, grinning. "If you get a new phone, just put that chip inside. You seem tech savvy enough to do that, ey?" He winked and then hugged me too, before leading me to the doors.

I cast a last look at the console room, took a second to listen to the familiar, yet strange humming of the machine and then stepped outside. The door to my apartment greeted me, just like I remembered it. After all I had been through in those past few weeks, this looked almost too normal, too human. It would definitely take some time to get used to living on earth again.

I glared at the number on the crumpled paper. A lot inside of me had changed and I could not fathom how. Between my last memory and my first awakening in the TARDIS only seconds had passed to me. The rest was gone. But I knew that before all of that I would have jumped in joy for an opportunity to see the stars and travel to distant worlds.

Now… Now I knew that this was not what I wanted. Especially not when it meant to be in close proximity to someone like the Master.

No. It was better to leave them all behind and use my new found strength and confidence to finally build a life I would actually enjoy living. On my own terms.

Some wind picked up, tugging at my hoodie. I held my hand up and let go of the paper, watching as it got carried away.

---

.

---

Time slipped between the cracks of consciousness and emotions, of memories that should be forgotten, but weren't. The Master tapped a rhythm against his leg, one that didn't belong to the drums, one that, instead, matched a song he actually quite liked even though it was too quiet and too slow for his usual taste. He looked down at his iPod, trying to rein down the upcoming storm of anger and sadness and disappointment. The playlist's title crept over the small display, reminding him of how he had gotten this in the first place.

In case of theGrumpy™️, listen to this!

The title used to make him smile. It was silly and he always remembered Lumin's insolent grin when she had given him the little device. Earth technology, old even for her time. But it proved to be surprisingly useful. On it was a wild mix of music from many genres, although most of it was heavy metal. The Master didn't mind. The fast beats and hard instrument served a good purpose in droning over the incessant drumming.

Her scared face appeared in his mind. The look she had worn before running away. And for a moment he wanted to scream and to smash something, almost happy to be in a place where that wasn't possible. On purpose. He didn't want to be violent - towards anything. He didn't want to scream, he didn't want to break, he didn't want to hurt. And all of this was so decidedly not him that it made him want to do all of the above and a lot worse things.

But he didn't.

He already lost too much. And he knew he would lose so much more if he continued on the same path he had tread for almost all of his life. What had he gotten from it? Failure after failure, pain and literal death over and over again, people leaving and hating him. And none of this had ever bothered him. Not once. Not for a single moment, because none of them were worthy enough to spend the energy it took to think about them at all.

Except for her. Except for that fear in those big eyes behind the glasses. A barrier that was none. He could see right through it, knew that he was the source of the turmoil inside her mind, of the decision to leave and not look back for even a second.

In the end, he did scream.

---

.

---

The Master never actually lost track of time. His senses didn't allow him that sort of comfort. Somewhere a sun or two had set and risen again and again and again. It didn't matter if he took the rhythm of earth which the TARDIS had adapted for the Doctor's pets, or if he calculated it in Gallifreyan time, at least four days had passed inside the forest. Four days since he hadn't spoken to anyone anymore. He simply didn't want to. Not with all of this conflict inside of him.

But even a Time Lord body wasn't immune to hunger, thirst and… well… body odour. The Master scrunched up his nose, disgusted by himself. He, the powerful, most dangerous man in the universe, he who had fought and defeated monsters whose names were forbidden to speak aloud in countless cultures, he who had built empires and had toppled kings and self-proclaimed gods. He… who hid from his own thoughts like some filthy rat.

Grunting, he got up from the ground and dusted himself off, cursing the stiffness that had settled in his limbs. First, he needed a shower. A long one. Then he would cook something that would make everyone on board drool in jealousy and would not share a single bite of it. And then… then there were a few things he needed to settle.

---

.

---

When he entered the console room the Master had gotten rid of all evidence of his previous rotten state. He ran a hand over his freshly shaved and trimmed beard and then smoothed over the fabric of the dark red waistcoat he wore over a white pressed shirt and black pants. A bit of elegance couldn't hurt anyone and it looked quite nice with the new blond hair colour.

Of course he found the Doctor near the console, actually under it. A grate lay in a strange angle next to a hole with lots of cables peeking out. A streak of thin and steady pink smoke rose up from a broken condensator. The Master squatted down, picked up some pliers and ripped the broken component out of the circuit board before it could explode at last.

"Ouch!" came a cry, right after a loud bang that sounded suspiciously like a head hitting against metal. Then the Doctor's face appeared in the hole, a little confused, both about the Master's presence and because of the condensator he held up. "Why did you rip it out?" He lunged forward to snatch the thing, but stopped right before his fingers would touch the thin metal legs.

"Ah, at least you remember that it still has some voltage left." The pink smoke had died down, but the smell of burnt electronics still molested his nose. "Don't tell me you didn't notice the stench."

"I… well, I was busy! Come, move away. Let me get out."

The Master stood, waiting for the other Time Lord to get his too long limbs out of the small hole in the floor. Behind him the door opened and steps came closer. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Still happily munching away at our provisions," he sneered, turning on his heels. "Don't you have somewhere else to go, Salvatori?"

"Provisions?" asked the Doctor as he unfolded to his full height, patting the dirt on his shirt as if that would help anything. "Since when do we need those? The TAR-"

"It was a figure of speech," groaned the Master.

"If you have to know," said Vienna, hand stemmed into her hips, "we were scanning the surroundings for signs of that creature that attacked us. Well, you, to be precise. And I'm afraid my ship sits right in the area where those rebels have settled now. So…."

The Master turned away from her and frowned at his fellow Time Lord. "Doctor, we are not going to keep her."

"No!" came the other one's too quick answer. "I already caught an opening. She actually was just about to leave us, right?"

"Right," confirmed Vienna. "I need to get back to Passion. She'll be worried sick already. And I could name a whole list of people I'd rather spend time with than your kind. No offence. But you lot are always trouble. Always."

"We simply know how to have fun," mocked the Master. Then he rummaged around in his pockets, searching the - bigger - inner dimension for something. There. He pulled it out and reached a small vial filled with dusty crystals to Vienna.

"What is that?" she asked, her voice laced with scepticism. "A bomb? Poison?"

"Payment."

That shut her up. All eyes laid on the Master. He didn't like their stares and he didn't like what he was doing. A shift in who he was, a diversion from who he used to be, or wasn't it? The assassin might still be of use in the future and having her on good terms surely couldn't hurt. That was the reason, the Master told himself. The only reason why he was even a little nice to her.

"I hired you to kill me, after all. And getting someone else to do the job still fulfils the contract."

The Doctor grunted. "But this wasn't you. We all saw it."

"Who knows," muttered Vienna. "Guy's had worse forms already. Who's to say his future doesn't get tangled up in messed up shit again?" She hesitated for a second, but still took the vial from him, gasping. "Are those crystals from the Aralamium Spiral? Have you any idea how much they are worth?"

"I have a rough estimate, yes. See it as an incentive to stay away from me."

"As if I would choose to run into you over and over again."

"Wonderful!" He clapped his hands together, grinning. "We're understanding each other. And now, Doctor, be a darling and get rid of her."

"Oi! Don't give commands. This is still my ship."

"Stolen."

"So?"

"No one has command over a stolen ship."

"Well, in that case you still don't get to order me around." The Doctor pouted, arms crossed.

"You two were more bearable as enemies," grumbled Vienna. She tossed annoyed looks between the two. "Get a room. But yes, I would prefer to be let out of here before that, thank you very much."

"Rude as ever," the Doctor sighed. "Alright, hold on to something, I have the coordinates."

He didn't bother to give anyone the time to grab something for support. Instead, he Immediately launched the TARDIS into flight and sent everyone flying with her. The Master managed to grab the console just in time, happy that she didn't zap him for once. The assassin, on the other hand, didn't have as much luck and landed on her bum with a loud and pathetic whine. Music in the Master's ears.

She heaved herself off the ground, cursing and rubbing her hindsight. "Thanks for bringing me," she grunted, "but I really, reeeaaally hope this is the last time we'll cross paths."

"That hope is mutual," said the Master, grinning nastilly.

"Weeell…" The Doctor rubbed his neck. "Might definitely be for the better. But anyway, have a good life, Vienna."

"Yeah… let's hope so." Vienna walked half through the door, before turning around one last time, her eyes landing on the Master. "Still think you should lock him up, by the way. The whole universe would be a better place without him, but…" She shrugged, sighing. "You're not gonna listen to me, are you? So, have a good life. Don't fuck it up."

With that she only waved and finally was gone.

"Good riddance," said the Master. "Now we only have to deal with one earth girl."

"Not right now," mumbled the Doctor as he went back to the console to put in some new coordinates. "Donna is visiting her grandpa for a weekend. She promised him to do that from time to time. So…" He looked up, flipping a switch with clearly too much nonchalance. "Where'd you want to go?"

The Master stared at the other Time Lord for over a minute, not disturbed by babbling, or movement, or anything at all. Silence hung between them like a question neither of them knew how to formulate.

"You just assume I want to stay," said the Master eventually.

"Uhm… I thought… Since you have no means of travelling on your own… a-and… maybe also… you know…? But it's okay if not. Can't force you. Don't want to, anyway. I promised that you're free to go and me being… Uh I mean… just because that's how I feel doesn't mean… And you haven't told me who attacked you. Maybe let's start with that? In case she comes back."

"She won't," was all the Master said. Of course, he didn't know that for sure, but he definitely hoped so. "If this was what I think it was then it only played with my memories. And it knows I won't let it do that again."

"What do you mean?"

The Master shrugged. "Doesn't matter." If it dares to come anywhere near me again, I will kill it."

"Hm… I think we should find out what it wants first."

"I don't want to know."

"But what if-"

"No, Doctor!" The Master pushed himself away from the console, looming close. "I don't care what it wants. And now forget this ever happened because I will not talk about it, understood?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Yes, what?" A grin slowly formed on his lips.

The Doctor swallowed, keeping eye contact for a few seconds longer before lowering his head. "Yes, Master."

He chuckled. "I like how that sounds out of your mouth. And yes. I have no plans, right now, so I can as well stay a little longer. Maybe get the Vortex Manipulator fully functioning." Quickly, he stretched up, grabbing the Doctor's to draw him closer and pressed a kiss to his lips. "And meanwhile I can have a little more fun with you."

Notes:

Sometimes all we need is a little bit of feral raccoon Master. 😌
Might this be the end of Lucy's story? We'll see.

Chapter 45: Part VII (III)

Summary:

I might not post for quite a while after this. I'm going on a vacation and (while I'll probably write there) I won't have a computer and posting on phone is rubbish, cause it never copies the formatting... >__>

Anyway... this is a bit silly and a bit fluffy, so I hop you'll enjoy :)

Of course the Doctor tried to find out more about the void creature. That wasn't even a surprise. It didn't sting, it didn't bother the Master that much. Nothing would come of it anyways. That woman could not be his daughter. Like he had said to Lumin, it was simply impossible.

And yet, he couldn't shake that nasty voice inside his mind that kept asking questions. How exactly had the Time Lords only erased a part of her lifetime from existence? Never having been was the definition of… well… never having been. Try as he might, the Master could not recall any memory of her existence after her tenth birthday.

There it was, him ruffling her hair with a smile while she happily munched on a piece of cake. His wife mocking him gently for using this human tradition. The Doctor's fault, of course. It had been him to introduce it in the first place and since then Eleya had insisted on the cake every year. No harm done. The rest of the day had been quiet and unremarkable. She would go back to the academy in a few days and so they spent the time rehearsing a few of her weaker subjects. Then dinner. And after that…

Nothing. The Master leaned back in the armchair, glaring at the ceiling. After that he had just gone to work, had done his usual research into whatever topic had gripped him at the moment, had had the usual fun discussions with Lela over a glass of red sorum wine. Time had passed, years, decades… And everything else that had led to this very moment.

No, he could not remember the child after this particular moment. And he didn't want to. The drums hammered loud enough in his head, there was no room for more noise.

Sitting in the library had been a mistake, he decided, but still didn't get up, staring at the book in his lap.

"You're awfully quiet."

The Master looked up, seeing the Doctor lean against a bookshelf with crossed arms and a slight smile on his lips.

"Just thinking." He shrugged.

"'Bout what? Any ideas for a nice trip? It's just the two of us, right now. Let's go somewhere we wouldn't take humans to."

"You mean, you wouldn't take them." The Master grinned. "I would enjoy watching them get eaten by living sand or acidic plants or giant insects, or-"

"Yes, yes, I get it." The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose. "But they aren't here and we can go wherever we want. Just…" He squirmed a little, obviously uncomfortable, ready to just run away. But he didn't and came even a few steps closer. "Like I wanted to from the start."

"Me, as your little pet to show around places I already know?" The Master scoffed. "How about the other way around and I show you how to have fun, for once?"

"If it doesn't end in a planet getting destroyed?"

"Only a little." He pinched his fingers, peeking with one eye through the tiny gap, then grinned up at the Doctor.

The other one just sighed.

"Oh, come on, Doctor. Do you really believe that's all I ever do?"

"Actually?" The Doctor shrugged. "Yeah, I kinda do. The evidence speaks for it."

"Mhm…" He closed the book with a dramatic thud, tossing it on the table. "Give me a chance, will you? To prove you wrong."

The prospect of even allowing the thought obviously made the Doctor squirm. A thousand emotions whizzed over his face within the span of seconds, and probably at least as many scenarios as to how this could go southways. Terribly.

The Master stood, slowly walking closer to stretch up to the Doctor with a mocking grin. "I could also just fuck you senseless, but it's getting boring to do just that." Oh, how he enjoyed seeing him blush so furiously. "Though the audience would certainly enjoy that."

"Wh… what?" The Doctor stammered. "What are you talking about?"

The Master giggled and nudged his shoulder. "Just joking. So, what do you say? You and I?"

The other Time Lord deflated like a scratched balloon. The Master could practically feel the energy shift, could smell his little victory. "Okay, fine. But if you harm anyone…"

"Oh, please. Not on a date."

"A…. a date?"

"Yes, Doctor. Or was all of this just for fun? Did you mean a single word of what you said those past weeks?"

"Wha-? Of course I did! Why would… Ohhhh…. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, you sneaky bastard, you're manipulating me!"

"Good, you're catching up." The Master chuckled. "Now get your skinny butt into a suit that actually fits and then meet me in… half an hour should be enough to powder your nose?"

"You're far more vain than I ever was," grumbled the Doctor. "Fine. Half an hour."

---

.

---

Admittedly, it took the Master almost the entire time to decide on an outfit. In the end he went with a sleek jacked with red inlay. A classic, matching the blood red dress shirt and black waistcoat. It also went quite nice with the blond that had faded a little over time. At first it had been rather prominent, but week by week it had gotten subtly lighter until it had stopped at a colour that was not quite blond anymore, but also not already white. Definitely went nice with the goatee. But everything goes nice with a proper beard, he decided.

The Doctor did not disappoint either in his simple black smoking and bowtie. It had a James Bond vibe to it that looked quite appealing. He could understand why those hormone driven apes always wanted to jump the man. But they wouldn't. He wouldn't allow it.

"So…" The Doctor fiddled with his sonic. "Where do we go?"

"Do I get access to the controls?"

The Doctor hesitated for a moment, stilling all his movements. "Let's see how today goes and… maybe next time."

"Fair enough. Just let me put in the coordinates then."

This he was allowed to do and after a tumultuous flight during which, surprisingly, nothing and no one broke something, the Master stretched out his elbow. He definitely noticed the moment of hesitation in the Doctor's movements, but didn't comment on it. This was to be expected, after all. Too much history.

Together they opened the doors and stepped outside, finding themselves in a dimly lit hallway. No windows adorned the walls, no decoration, just cold stone all around them.

"Doesn't look very inviting." The Doctor sniffed.

"Well, it's not my kind of basement either. But that's not what we are here for."

He led them along the hallway to a heavy metal door that he opened with his screwdriver and then also closed again behind them. No one in this place knew what lay behind the steel, no one had managed to open the lock, because he had invented it. His own secret entrance.

After a few curves they ended up at yet another door. This one didn't even have a lock and led them to a narrow corridor lined with doors that had various pictures on them, each representing the silhouette of different species.

"Oh! Interspeciary toilets!" exclaimed the Doctor. "Love those. Ohhh… Are we in a restaurant?"

An answer wasn't needed. A few more steps and they came to an opening, leading them into a huge room full of tables and dining people. The floor was made of blue, polished crystal with mosaics embedded into it. Patterns and shapes, depicting creatures or simply beautiful structures. More crystals stretched in a dome above their heads, translucent, allowing them a full view of an ancient city that once spread over the whole planet. Now it lay in ruins, destroyed and decayed, crumbling all around them.

"What a strange pla-" The Doctor couldn't finish his sentence, silenced by the rumbling and the sight of a fiery mushroom cloud forming right in front of the dome, the light only not blinding them because of the crystal's structure. It grew to a size that eluded every measurement, the shock wave washing over a part of the city below, knocking over one of the still standing skyscrapers in the process. The Doctor slowly turned around to the Master. "You brought us to the beginning of a nuclear war?"

The Master allowed himself a second to saviour the disbelief and shock in the other one's voice, the slight hint of betrayal. Not for too long, however. He didn't want to spoil this.

"Can I offer the gentlemen a table?" A waiter asked with a slight bow. He was humanoid with a light sheen of scales instead of skin. "We have one free, right next to the dome, an excellent view."

"Perfect," the Master purred. "We'll take it."

All the while they got seated the Doctor didn't leave the city out of his eyes, probably trying to puzzle together why no one here batted an eye. Another bomb went off, a few kilometers away from them, but still close enough to provide a spectacle.

The waiter brought them the menu and asked for wine preferences. Since the Doctor didn't react, it was on the Master to order. Of course he took the expensive one. A wine they only cultivated in one place in this specific galaxy. Minutes passed, the waiter returned, puring each a glass and leaving the bottle with them.

"So, this is your version of fun," the Doctor finally mumbled, picking up his glass. "Watching a world getting destroyed with a bunch of snobs. Should have known this will be messed up, but this… even for your standards this is sick, Master."

He didn't bother to stop the monologue, slowly swirling the wine, smirking. He waited until the Doctor went quiet again, then raised his glass.

"Are you done?"

The Doctor sighed. "I don't know what else to say."

"Well, then let me clarify something. First of all, we are not watching a planet getting destroyed. We are not even watching a nuclear war unfolding." Ah, that got his attention. The Master noticed the subtle shift in posture, smiling wider. "Let's look at the menu. I know for a fact they have at least five dishes you will love."

The Doctor hesitated, but eventually did grab one of the menus to sift through what the kitchen had to offer. His eyes grew here and there and the Master could swear he heard a light stomach rumble." It's all on me, by the way. I happen to have collected a small fortune in this part of the galaxy. Just don't ask how."

"I don't want to know."

The waiter returned, taking their orders, not before mentioning that they would be flying in soon. Another info that made the Doctor's face harden. A delight to watch. Already, the Master had more fun than anticipated, snickering at the devastated sight.

"Who's flying in? Planes, rockets, drones? More bombs?" While two at once went off in the distance, painting the sky in beautiful red and orange colours.

"Nothing of the sort." The Master could barely hide his amusement. "The planet got abandoned centuries ago, when the water supplies got polluted by native fungi. By then the people here had so many colonies that they decided it would be easier, faster and cheaper to just leave."

"They… left?"

"Yeah. No one lives there anymore."

"There are still plants and animals getting killed." He purses his lips.

"Not anymore either. See," the Master tapped his chin, "the fungi were highly parasitic and killed everything before dying out themselves. It's as dead of a planet as it can be. So the neighbouring planets agreed to stop testing nuclear weapons at home and instead decided to do it here."

"Oh…" For almost a whole minute the Doctor managed to stay silent. Surely a record for his standards.

Their food arrived and the Master dug in, enjoying every bite, while his counterpart listlessly poked some vegetables.

"By the way," the Master said, chewing on an especially delicious piece of fish, "the galaxy has been at peace for almost a millenia by now. They haven't fought a war in forever."

"But…" The Doctor looked up, fire reflecting on his pretty face. "Then why the bombs?"

"Easy." This definitely was one of the best restaurants. "Look up."

Right then another bomb spread its cloud into the air, similar to all the others before, only this time, the fire darkened at one spot, a shadow grew behind the flames, drawing closer, growing. A being as huge as the cloud itself and then some, opening its long mouth to swallow the radioactive material in one slow gulp. Another shape appeared next to it, doing the same with the fire of a new bomb.

"Sky Whales!" blurted the Doctor. "Real, propper…" He turned to the Master. "But how? How are they alive? And how do they not die from the radiation?"

Ah, there it finally was. That familiar flicker of childish curiosity, that hint of never dying hope. As much as it annoyed him sometimes, right now the Master only found it adorable.

"No one knows all the details. During the time when tests were still a thing, those two appeared out of nowhere and started eating the radiation. It's the last pair in the whole cluster of galaxies around here. That's why people kept feeding them." He took a long sip from the wine, observing the Doctor's face and all the emotions that it displayed. "That and mushroom clouds are just bloody impressive."

"That they are," mumbled the Doctor. He kept glaring upwards, admiring the whales with shining eyes, a subtle smile curving his lips upwards.

That childish side had never vanished. The curiosity, the sense of wonder, even after centuries of seeing everything the universe could ever show to you. Next to the Master sat still that little boy in red robes who couldn't keep silent about all the wonders he had read about, all the places he wanted to visit as soon as he'd find a way to leave Gallifrey behind. And once, during an evening when the suns had drawn a particularly beautiful light upon the hills, that boy had turned around, had looked at him, had truly seen him for maybe the first time. Just seen. Just being present. And at that one peculiar moment he had leaned in and had clumsily thudded their mouths together for a short second, grinning afterwards as if he had just invented the greatest toy in existence. Will you come with me? We can go together. Just you and me. And see aaaall the Stars in the universe.

The fire of another mushroom cloud burned purple. And blue. And a little bit orange too. In the evening hours the compounds radiated in different sheens, painting the sky in fantastic colours. Suddenly, the Master got aware of the Doctor staring. At him.

"What?" he grumbled. "I told you, nothing and no one here gets hurt."

"Yes. I got it." The Doctor chuckled. "Just wanted to say… It's a nice date. Maybe a bit mean to lead me on like that, but it's really a great place." And then he leaned over and this time it wasn't clumsy at all when he kissed the Master, it wasn't as brief either, soft, careful almost. They got lost in it for a while, both drawn to an illusion of what could have been.

When they parted the Master didn't know what to think. This wasn't a play of control, it didn't gain him access to anything, didn't grant him power. He only tasted the remnants of sweet wine on his lips and the echo of warmth and the brightly burning memory of red grass in a sunset.

"Yes, I'd love to," he muttered. An answer, centuries late. It didn't matter that the Doctor couldn't understand and he didn't elaborate.

Notes:

Well, they are trying to get away from their usual dysfunctional relationship. Let's see how well that goes xD

Chapter 46: Part VII (IV)

They were running away. Both of them knew it. They ran from the passing of time and the ticking hours and the fact that, no matter how endless their lives seemed to be, the things around them did in fact end. The things that lay inside of them also did. Slowly, gradually, at first unnoticed, yet still palpable. Tiny shifts in reality, caused by things that changed and also some that didn't.

"Why don't you let me fly her?" The Master sulked with crossed arms on the jump seat. "I proved to you that I don't take you to any of the bad places."

The Doctor sighed, not turning around from the console. Instead, he played with buttons and dials, not actually achieving anything productive with those actions. "The fact that there are bad places is enough," he finally whispered and his voice was quiet enough that it wasn't clear whether those words had been meant to be heard or not.

It didn't matter. The Master had heard them and they did make him angry. Maybe the drums increased his ire somewhat, because over the past few days they had become louder again. Maybe it was just the fact that, after all those years, the Doctor still complained about the obvious.

"You know there are. It's nothing new." He leaned back in his jump seat. "Don't pretend to be shocked about it now."

"I do… I know." Finally, the Doctor turned around, clutching the edges of the console. "That doesn't improve the circumstance."

"It's all in the past."

"For now."

They glared at one another, neither of them backing away. Until the Doctor did. He never could stand still for too long. Just like someone else the Master knew. When it came to patience, he himself definitely had the upper hand.

"Where would you even want to go?" asked the Doctor, looking at his shoes.

"You know where. I brought you to a few of those places already."

"But… why is it not enough to do it like now? It works, doesn't it?"

The Master clicked his tongue, sneering. "Of course it works," he spat. "We get to places. But I'm completely dependent on you. You don't even give me the dignity of decision. I'm still just a pet on a leash for you."

Not the first time he had made that accusation and, not for the first time either, the reaction stayed the same.

"Wha-? No! I told you, I'm not holding you here anymore," whined the Doctor. "You're free to go wherever you want. I just don't like it when anyone touches my TARDIS."

The Master scoffed and abruptly rose to his feet, startling the other one. He took half a step forward, stretching up to get unnervingly close. "Lie. You don't trust me."

Obviously.

"And you know why!" shot the Doctor back.

Because of all the things they both knew of and never forgot and never would forget.

"So, I will never get a single chance to prove to you that you're wrong?"

Well, not entirely wrong. After all, the Master was proud of his bad deeds and would never deny them. He also knew that he could be different than that, that he could be… better? According to whose standards? He wanted to be better. Not as in becoming like the Doctor, but better in the sense that he could keep the people he cared for around instead of scaring them off all the time.

The Doctor swallowed, enduring the burning glare with surprising stubbornness. "I gave you hundreds of chances over the centuries."

Yes, chances to become like him. To see things like he did. To accept his morals and his wishes. And the Master would never become like that. Never. And yet, he had become different, in his very own ways. Could that really be not enough?

"It was different, then." The Master stabbed a finger at the other one's chest. "We were enemies. Of course I would use anything against you. But now?" He stretched out his hands in defense. "There is nothing to gain for me by… I don't even know what I could do, right now."

"Oh please," scoffed the Doctor. "As if you'd ever have no plan or scheme at all at any time ever!"

"Well, I don't."

Not when the drums hammered so adamantly against the inside of his skull, getting louder with every second - or did they? Was it only the drumming or was it more that made him want to kick and scream all the time? He groaned and sunk back into the seat, rubbing his temples in a vain attempt to fight down the oncoming headache. Nothing would help. He knew it all too well, but the movement gave him at least the illusion of having a fracture of control. Something he hadn't had in a very long time. Not over anything.

And where had that gotten him? Everything fell apart the more he tried to hold it together. Everything twisted in hurtful ways in and around him the more he tried to have something for himself.

Someone.

"Lets not fight." The Doctor bent down and lightly bumped his forehead against the Master's hair. "We did that long enough."

Another wave of frustrated ire arose in the Master. Those stupid, empty words! He shot up, pushing against the other man so he flew backwards, landing with a yelp against the console. "Screw you and your morals and your righteousness! And your mistrust too! Just give me a chance!" Pain pierced through his head, the drums roared.

For once he didn't even want to scheme something bad or malicious. He had no plans, no ideas, nothing at all. Every thought in the Master's head was a repetition of the incessant four-beat, rotating, looping, never, ever stopping. He felt sick, nauseous. It hurt. His body, his mind and also his emotions. Because beyond the noise he could understand one thought. One that made him more furious than the pain.

"It doesn't matter what I say or even do," he growled. "I could become a literal saint and you would still distrust me."

The Doctor straightened from his crumbled position. He tugged at his tie and looked everywhere except at the Master. "You know why."

"So that's it?" he snarled. "That is how far we can get? The maximum range of it all?" No, this wasn't a snarl anymore. The Master barely registered that he got louder and louder until his words were almost screams, cutting, meant to hurt. "You just take what you want and ignore the rest! You let yourself get fucked and brought on fancy dates, but only as long as it follows your rules and your tastes and your sense of what is right and not! Hypocrite!"

"Master, plea-"

"No! Screw that!" He swatted the Doctor's hand away. "You're chasing a man that doesn't exist, Doctor! It's not me you want, it's that stupid fantasy of me you have had in your head since we were children." He shot forwards, boring a finger into the Doctor's forehead. "I'm not that boy anymore. I will never be him again! When will you accept that? Can you accept that? Or will you chase after him for the rest of our lives and ignore the man that stands right here! Look at me, for fucks sake!" He screamed into his face, drowning out the drumming for a moment.

" I… I am," whimpered the Doctor, shrinking." I do see you, I just want to prevent… "

He didn't get to finish that sentence. The Master had enough. "That's exactly what I'm saying." And with that he punched the other man in the chest, making him double down in pain, wheezing for air. "There! Happy now? I can gladly be the level of danger you make me out to be! I can get back to who I was after the war, is that what you want? To feed your fantasies?" He punched him again as soon as he wanted to get up. "You love a boy that died a long time ago and you try to fix a man that has long stopped being who he used to be. You just refuse to see it, Doctor."

For a long moment the Master just stood there, watching the other man writhe on the floor, groaning in pain. He knew those punches couldn't have done any serious harm, their bodies were too robust, after all. But he hoped that his words would leave a few deep and bleeding cuts. He hoped they would scar his mind for a very long time and maybe make him understand and think. Think about those words that held more truth than the Master himself cared to admit.

He didn't want to think about it. He couldn't. The noise increased even more, making him wince in pain, drowning out everything around and within. The only thing he managed to do was to flee, flee far away into the depths of the TARDIS before he could do serious harm.

---

.

---

The Master didn't hide. Not really. He didn't go to any of the few places the TARDIS actually hid from the Doctor. A courtesy he was glad the ship offered him. But now was not the time to hide. He didn't want to.

Hours passed with him sitting in the library, listening to music to make the drums bearable. He didn't know why their volume had increased so much so suddenly, why their rhythm pounded inside his head with a lot more urgency than they used to. It made him agitated and irritable and it didn't help at all with thinking. And he needed to think. He needed to find a way to prove to the Doctor that he could…

Could what?

Be good?

The Master didn't want to be good. He didn't want to!

And yet, it seemed to be the only way to make the Doctor accept him. To make him… No, the bloody idiot already was head over heels in love. That was hard to miss. And at any other time in his life the Master would have used that realisation to mercilessly mock and abuse that knowledge to hurt and defeat the other Time Lord.

But not now. Not this time.

Could that not be enough? Just this little detail that he had no intention of doing something bad?

It wasn't enough. He knew it from the simple fact that the Doctor, not once, came to seek him out. After all those times he had pretended that he wanted to fix everything and everyone, after he could not sit still for more than ten seconds. But now… now he stayed away. And when the Master finally went back to the control room to break the silence and be the bigger person for once, he just froze in the doorway.

Donna had returned. Of course she had, eventually. Most of the time the Master didn't mind her too much. One of the less useless humans, sometimes even a little funny.

But now?

Now he saw how bright and wide the Doctor's smile stretched as he talked to her about all the places they were going to visit and about all the adventures he used to have. Now he saw the excited look in the human's eyes as she imagined their time together and all the great things they would do. She would probably fall for him at some point, those human women were so easy to impress. She would break his hearts and vanish, or die, or get eaten by something.

Whatever.

He could wait. Patience was his strength after all. The Doctor would come running back, eventually. Maybe surprised to find the Master still here and not long gone. Would he even notice?

It didn't matter.

He expected the Master to plot and scheme and so the Master would plot and scheme. He didn't know what exactly, yet, but it was only a question of time until something would come up. It always did. It had to.

Something had to drown out the drums, after all.

Life, however, had other plans. Some that did not quite align with his own. So, after days of jotting down beginnings and snippets of what might become elaborate schemes in some distant future, he entered the console room, just to rile up the Doctor a bit, but found it empty.

That alone didn't surprise him. The idiot probably ran out with his ape and stumbled into some adventure again. It did surprise the Master that they had landed in the Library, though. A great place, sure, but nothing to impress a human. Probably. And he already wanted to go back when he heard the TARDIS creak and moan. His look snapped up to the motor, but it didn't move. And then, out of the blue the Doctor and Donna materialised right in front of him, set together by some primitive teleportation field.

Only for both of them to freeze and suddenly scream in pain. They flickered in and out, trying to stabilise. The Master jumped to the console, pressing the controls for stabilising transport signals, but, of course, he was still locked out of everything and his efforts and curses and pleas to the TARDIS helped nothing. Helplessly, he had to watch how they contorted and then vanished for good.

"Fuck you!" he screamed at the TARDIS, hitting the console so hard his knuckles started bleeding. "I wanted to help! Why didn't you let me?"

He knew the answer. The ship wasn't capable of overriding manual instructions. But who else was there to be mad at? The Master roared again, cursing as nasty as any being in the universe ever heard, when the ground shook and the motor started pumping.

"No! You can't leave! Fucking bitch!" He slammed the console and only got zapped so nastily that he stumbled backwards, crashing against a coral pillar. The TARDIS rushed through the time vortex in a speed that hurt his mind, even with all the shielding around him. He groaned and rubbed his temples as the ship finally materialised. "Where is this? Earth? Ohhhh, don't do that to me. This is not helping, you moron! Your idiot pilot isn't even here to enjoy the damn dumpster!"

But he only got a soft whine as a response and a nudge that urged him to go outside.

"What, don't tell me you want to pick someone up? One of his old pets? It's not the UNIT headquarters. And not Cardiff. Well, the smelly Captain wouldn't be too pleased to see me anyway."

He got no answer and finally stepped outside, finding himself in a place that looked as boring as a place could be. Nothing special about it, from the trees to the houses to the apes that ran around.

The Master noticed only one curiosity. His drums went a bit quieter the second he sat foot outside.

Notes:

Well... that didn't last long.
But are we surprised? I think not xD

Chapter 47: Part VII (V)

"Stop squirming, Kira," I grumbled, stuffing the small dragon back under my jacket. He constantly tried to slip out to have a look at the park, but too many people moved about.

It had been hard enough to explain the creature to my dad and sister. They didn't quite believe me that he came from some secluded island. But what choice did they have? The little one was there, after all, in plain sight. And his behaviour often made it very hard to ignore his existence.

"You can sit under my hat. But don't move. Behave like a plush, okay?" I carefully glanced around and when I couldn't see anyone I opened the jacket just enough to let Kira slip out and crawl under the wool of my winter hat. With a lot of trial and error, I had found out that he definitely understood human language and its meaning. To an extent. I had been able to teach him many meanings by adding mental images. Another oddity I had found out. Telepathy with a dragon. Although it wasn't as elaborate as I had experienced before. The little one communicated more with images, emotions and instinct.

Luckily, not many people paid him attention as we continued the stroll through the freshly white painted park. Some snow had fallen overnight and I couldn't resist the situation, and also to let Kira play a little. He loved snow and I knew a spot that was rarely visited by others, if at all.

The spot sat behind some taller trees and bushes with a barely noticeable opening through which I had to duck under low hanging branches to get to the other side. We arrived at a clearing, surrounded by more bushes and trees, but enough free space in the middle to give Kira space to fly and play a little. Luckily, I had been able to convince him to stay rat-sized when we went outside or if anyone but me was around to see him. At home he sometimes grew a little, just to take up more space on my bed. It had taken some time to explain that, if he had to grow at all, then at least he should get no bigger than a cat. I had even shown him the animal on a video and instantly, Kira hat shrunk down, looking at me expectantly, squeaking happily when I smiled.

Now he rolled around in the snow, shoving it around with his nose and sometimes diving head first into a big heap.

"Of course it is you! Ugh, this is stupid!"

I hurled around, surprised by the voice behind me. A voice I thought I would never hear again. In shock, I stood there, glaring at the Master, shaking snow from his clothes. He looked just as I remembered him, in a black leather jacket, his face twisted into an angry snarl. He stabbed a finger in my direction, walking closer.

"Of all the places in the fucking universe she could have brought me, it had to be here. It had to be you! As if you could help with anything!" the Master spat and groaned and then his shoulders sank in defeat.

"Uhm… hello to you too?" I raised a brow, trying to act nonchalant to hide my frantically beating heart. He was real, wasn't he? Not just a dream, a nightmare that plagues my sleep. I barely could stop myself from reaching out to touch him, just a little, just to make sure, although not even a dream could come up with such a rude entrance.

He glared at me with the same cold stare I remembered, out of those same cruel eyes that never could quite decide whether to be more brown or green. Anger, but also a hint of desperation emanated from him, pierced through my mental shields and settled in my bones. He didn't come here for pleasantries.

"There has to be another way," he growled, turning on his heel to walk away, swatting away the branches to get out of the clearing, not caring that he bent the plants.

I barely had time to think and Kira luckily understood that I wanted to leave and flew under my hat again when I followed suit. "What even is the matter?" I asked.

"What do you think?" Oh, he was really pissed, wasn't he? With his hands shoved deeply into his jacked and kicking away snow with every step. "The Doctor got himself into trouble. Again! And his bloody ship brought me here, instead of letting me help."

"So…" I sped up my steps, cursing myself for being too excited. "She thinks I could help?"

"Bollocks!" the Master grunted and turned towards me. "I know you want to stay away. There has to be a better solution."

"Uh… And if there isn-"

"And how exactly do you think you could help on some alien planet, against an unknown threat, when you don't even dare to face yourself?!" He practically spat the words, bitterness dripping from them, more so than anger.

I froze, the accusation hitting me hard. He said the truth, I had run away, after all. But that didn't mean… "That's in the past, though."

"No!" He continued walking and we reached the TARDIS that sat behind some bushes. "I'm not dragging you into this. I promised not to do anything against your will, and for once in my life I'm actually going to keep that promise!"

I couldn't even give an answer before the door slammed shut in my face.

Stunned, I stood there, still unable to completely comprehend the situation. Kira snuck down on my shoulder to nuzzle my cheek and I scratched his head.

"He's not coming out again, is he?" I mumbled. "Think he'll still be here in the morning?"

Kira squeaked. I reached out my hand, hesitating for a moment before touching the blue wood. "Keep him here for a bit, will you?"

---

.

---

My first thought had been to simply camp in front of the TARDIS until the Master would come out again, but discarded the idea almost immediately, since I had no proper camping gear for snowy weather and didn't want to risk freezing. I also didn't want to risk the Master vanishing into thin air, but that seemed highly unlikely given that the TARDIS had apparently brought him here against his will. She wouldn't just leave again, would she? I hoped - begged - she wouldn't. I also needed sleep and warmth.

In the end I went back home and spent the night tossing and turning, slipping in and out of unpleasant dreams. Morning couldn't come fast enough and, although still groggy, I managed to get up with the first light of day. Which wasn't too early, given that we neared the end of January, but it also wasn't particularly late. And I had enough time for a shower and a cup of coffee before being on my way to the park again.

Kira had… vanished. Something he simply did from time to time, never giving a hint at where he might go. Maybe the void, maybe some other place. But he always came back to me. Sometimes hours, sometimes days later.

I let out a sigh of relief when I found the TARDIS right where it had stood yesterday, now covered with a thin layer of snow that had fluttered from the trees above. Like this the ship looked like an old tool shed that belonged in exactly this spot of the park. Obvious with the blue painting, yet eerily inconspicuous. People walked past it without even giving it a single look.

I knocked on the door, once, twice. After a while I repeated it, calling out: "Hey, I know you're in there!"

Seconds passed and the door swung open, revealing a rather dishevelled looking Master. His hair stood up in some places, the black shirt, half unbuttoned, revealed his oil smeared neck. The look he gave me would have certainly killed someone with a fainter heart than mine. It didn't have much effect on me, maybe because, in this state, he looked way too attractive for my taste and I quickly looked away, a bit shocked about that intrusive thought.

"What do you want?" he spat and cast a quick glance outside, blinking. "Don't tell me you spent all night out there."

"Nooooo, I didn't!" He would never learn from me that I had contemplated it at least.

"Get lost. I already told you I'm not going to get you involved." His frown deepened, accentuated by more smears of oil or dark fat. Behind him tools lay strewn around, parts of the console dismantled. "I'll deal with this myself, somehow."

"Doesn't seem to work too well."

"Of course not!" he said, exasperated and left another streak in his hair. "I can't even touch most of the bloody parts because of the stupid seal!"

I really needed to stop staring, for god's sake! It also didn't help that I could feel his distress seeping through to me. The desire to actually help the Doctor and to keep me out of it.

"You… don't have to hurry, right? It's a time machine, after all."

"Doesn't matter. I don't like earth and I need to get back. Leave me alone."

He already wanted to shut the door.

"Wait! Master!"

He stopped and glared at me.

Okay, this was harder than I had anticipated and I needed a few seconds to gather myself. "Uhm… You don't want me to come with you. I get it, but… uhm… w… would you come with me for a few hours or so?"

The perplexed look on his face was priceless. As if I had asked him if he could create gold out of thin air.

"Why?" Was all he said, confusion clearly layering his voice.

I took a breath, ready to maybe do the stupidest thing of my life.

"It's… my birthday," I mumbled. "And everyone's busy, as always. So… I don't know. You wanna grab a drink or something?"

"Your…" The Master blinked, glaring at me with a level of confusion that had no rival. "You want me to spend your day with you?" He pointed at him, then at me as if to make sure I actually knew what I was asking. Then he squinted, searching my face for something. "How many months did you stay here? When you left it was almost half a year until then. And…" He stepped closer, bending down to observe me closer. "Wait, those piercings are new too, aren't they? Let me have a look at you."

The Master carefully tugged the hat down, then took my face in both hands, gently mapping everything he could find. The new piercings, the little spike in my eyebrow, the ring in my lip. His searching eyes caught every detail, mapping them the image in his own head.

"Longer than you think," I answered late, smiling softly at his almost childish curiosity.

"You don't look or feel a second older. What's your age now? Should be thirty two. You've spent a year with us, after all."

"Not quite." I didn't budge when he let go of me. I didn't dare to move away, fearing I would lose this opportunity. "And yes… The time travel thing poses quite the problem. I'm not completely sure how old I am, but it should roughly be thrifty five."

The Master's face dropped. If I had forgotten about our mental connection I would have remembered it at that very moment. Pain shot through me, the one you only feel when your hopes get brutally shattered and an uncomfortable truth settles in your bones like the chill of a cold winter morning.

"You never came back," he whispered. And within a single second his eyes changed from shock to ice, hardened like stone. His nostrils flared and he straightened, regarding me with an icy stare. "Then you definitely don't need my company now, do you? How about you get lost, before I have to throw you out myself?"

The Master hurled around on his heel, striding away with sharp steps. I knew how this must have appeared to him, could imagine and literally feel how it must seem like I had planned all of this. But I couldn't just leave. I had to set things right, even if it meant to be stuck here forever.

"I didn't plan to!" I called out. The Master didn't look at me. He just took a wrench and got back to work on the console. "I… dropped the number the Doctor gave me. I was overwhelmed, okay? It was all too much and I… acted on impulse and it was stupid. I know. Believe me, I do! I went back to the place where I dropped the paper and searched." For days, no, weeks, I had returned to that spot and had searched every inch of it, hoping to find that tiny piece of paper again. "Wind must've blown it away. And then I was stuck."

"Didn't I tell you already to get lost?" The Master threw a bolt into a corner and pointed his tool at me. "Don't test my patience, ape."

I took a step towards him and wanted to touch his arm, but he tore it away from me. "Leave!"

But I wasn't that scared person anymore the Doctor had dropped here. I wouldn't back away so easily. My own gaze hardened and I stood still, with both feet on the ground, countering his stare. "No, I won't. Not until you talk to me. And then, when we've settled some things, I will come with you. So stop trying to dismantle the poor ship and get your arse into some clean clothes. Drinks are on me. I'll wait here."

His look was priceless. His knuckles turned white from how hard he squeezed the wrench and his nose twitched with all the things he repressed. In the end he tossed the tool aside and regarded me with so much venom in his gaze that it could have burned a hole through the floor.

"Fine. Whatever."

Notes:

Little time skip for the drama!
Also to squeeze in some character development. Cause... you know... when you're not constantly surrounded by chaos you actually have time to process certain things.

Notes:

Feel free to leave your thoughts on this in the comments. I don't care if they are coherent or make any sense.
I'm simply happy about knowing you exist and ejoy this work.

That's it. Love you! 😘