Chapter 1: Youth
Chapter Text
Everyone knew the rumor.
It had traveled far as it started first with whispers between servants within the palace walls which made its way into the ears of sturdy deliverymen at the stables. Then from there, it slipped from lose lips among the embrace of whores within the merchant inns who then carried it to the evening gathered circles of peasant men idly smoking as the moon rose. The rumor murmured its way through the countryside, a hushed thing for it wasn’t supposed to be passed along at all less the wrath of the emperor came down upon those who talked too loud.
For the rumor painted a vicious black mark across his legacy that could lead to ruin if it held any weight.
It was a curse, the rumor said, that had been put upon the emperor. A curse born of a jealous raise of a slighted empress who saw her husband more interested in gentle beauties he spirited from the arms of their husbands to be part of his court.
A curse that gave the emperor a supposed end to his legacy.
“They say his most prized lover birthed a monster,”
Yuuji’s young ears pricked up as he swept a little closer to where the two senior monks were talking as they settled for their morning breakfast. He did his best to not look like he was trying to listen in, but the boy, no older than a few weeks past five, was always eager to hear such gossip and snippets of the outside world.
“Apparently the empress was mad with jealousy and cursed him to have but one male heir and that he would be a monster that would rip his lineage apart and be the doom of the land,” the same monk as before said as he scooped up the simple meal of rice and vegetables into a ball to pluck up and eat.
“Such a terrible thing to happen if true,” the other monk murmured, “But that is what an appetite for beauty does. The emperor seemed to get greedy about having only the finest women and ignoring his duties for an heir by the empress,”
“I’ve heard the empress fell ill when the demon was conceived and died the moment it was born, as if it truly was conceived purely on her spite,” the first monk murmured, “The emperor only kept it because he was told by oracles that to kill it would only spread the curse further,”
Yuuji shivered a bit, sweeping a little less and inching a little closer, eager to hear more of the rumor. Usually the monks did not speak of such things, especially with the little ears of novice monks around that may hear it and spin more fanciful gossip among themselves.
The two monks lapsed into silence a moment as they ate their breakfast noisily and Yuuji almost moved away, muffling a sigh that that was all there was to the story before the other spoke up, “I’ve heard that the emperor was intent on keeping his heir, no matter how terrible he was born at first. Tried for a few years to teach the thing words and how to be civilized but it just spat and roared and devoured a servant,”
The other one snorted, his tone incredulous, “You sound like the novice monks now, Baso. I believe in this case the more mundane rumors are the ones to believe. That the shame of such a devil in the house simply had him ship the child off, pretend there was no son to be had, and punish any tongue that seeks to extend the whole awful rumor. You know how the court can be secretive about such things,”
Baso hummed, “True. There may be no son at all. After all, a child born with four eyes and four arms? It seems too surreal to be true. More like a cursed spirit was born than a human,”
“But if it is true, and it did devour servants, well, we should be ever thankful for the monks trained to handle such spirits and hope the beast was soundly exorcised at a shrine, as some stories say,”
A chuckle escaped Baso, “And be thankful such things reach us so late as this rumor had been wandering the lands for at least four years. Most likely in the cities it is news that is long old,”
Yuuji was clutching his broom at that point, standing around the corner and just out of sight from where the monks were talking. His eyes were wide as his young mind conjured the thought of some demon snarling in the palace of the emperor, devouring the flesh of humans. It would be so evil that it would be taken to a shrine and sealed up, less it get lose and run rampant, like the stories of old of powerful, rampaging spirits.
His little fantastic thoughts were interrupted though as a hand came down on his shoulder and yanked him up, “Yuuji! Being idle again I see! Such a lazy boy!”
Yuuji squawked as he was hefted up, clutching tight to his broom, “I was working! I was sweeping real good!” he protested.
The two monks he was eavesdropping on came around the corner then, Baso sharing a knowing look with his compatriot before waving ah and to the monk that had Yuuji in his grasp, “Calm Dayu. We saw the boy working hard all morning, sweeping as if he was a monk shooing off cursed spirits,” he said with a slight smile, “And the poor boy is new to the monastery by only a week. We should make him feel welcomed, not terrorized,”
Dayu frowned, but reluctantly let go of Yuuji. The little novice monk gave a huff, clutching his broom and pulling a face at the larger monk, “See?”
“Now now Yuuji. Remember a monk needs to be humble,” Baso said with a small nod, folding his hands within the sleeves of his robes, “Get back to your duties and make sure to hold your tongue a bit more,”
Yuuji’s brow furrowed but he nodded, scurrying off as he heard Dayu give a huff, “Too light of a hand with that one. Trouble is stamped across his forehead,”
“You see any sign of youthful vigor for life as trouble Dayu,” Baso said with a sigh, “It makes me wonder if you even recall being a little hellion in your youth,”
Yuuji hurried off quickly before he could catch more of the conversation as he didn’t want to be called out on his eavesdropping. It was fair enough he had managed to avoid a good scolding already. For a moment though he did pause to raise a hand to hold onto his tongue with a confused expression, wondering what that would even help with him doing his chores. Yuuji gave a shake of his head, huffing and brushing it off as a silly thing the old monks told young monks to make them look dumb before he was back to sweeping around.
The monastery was quiet that morning. There were no visitors around this hour and the morning prayers had concluded, leaving the monks to their studies and chores. Yuuji continued to wander about with his broom, sweeping at piles of dirt as he had been assigned to do, all but eager to chase stray leaves off the courtyard with single-minded purpose for now.
He was the youngest novice monk at the monastery by a good few years with none even close to the tender age of five years that Yuuji held. He stood a whole head shorter than all else and some of the older children had taken to calling him a rabbit for how he scurried about, although Yuuji didn’t feel himself a rabbit. He was far too loud for that.
Yet despite the teasing, Yuuji found he did not mind living at the monastery so far. He had a room to sleep in, a corner to call his own, and meals to settle his hunger, even if the taste of rice and vegetables every day was already growing tiresome. The elder monks seemed nice as well for the most part. Master Baso and Takako were stern but kind and Yuuji liked to listen to them talk and sometimes he liked to listen to the old man gossip about life outside the monastery that was nothing but prayers and studies.
However some monks were far more irritating and Yuuji tried to avoid. Brother Dayu seemed to have it out for him, just because when Yuuji first saw him, he had asked how he had gotten his head so shiny like a big egg.
And how Yuuji had cried and tried to bite Dayu when the monk had tried to sheer him like a sheep and Yuuji wasn’t having none of that.
He had kept his hair for now but he had plans of hiding so to avoid being made into an egg like the other monks. Yuuii had already found a horde of good hiding places for when he saw even a flash of those shears coming out.
The little novice monk wandered around, pausing at times to watch the older ones rush about with chores such as laundry and cooking. Others getting the duty to clean the altars and make sure the new incenses were lit. The older monks gathered in their circles for discussions and meditations while others gathering the older novice monks about for their daily lessons.
All things that Yuuji was too young for and left to just patrol the grounds with his broom for now to keep him out of trouble or from poking his nose about.
Yuuji sighed, starting to grow tired with the endless battle against leaves and dirt, half-heartedly brushing his broom around as he shuffled out into the gardens and eyed the back door of the gardens. Today it had been open as one of the elder monks was taking a class out to mediate under the spreading leaves of an old ginko.
It looked so nice out there and Yuuji shuffled his feet, giving a glance about before he tried to sweep his way over to the backdoor as inconspicuously as he could. Once at the gate, he gave a glance around before resting his broom up beside the gate and gave it a stern look and pointed at it like brother Dayu would do to him “You stay here and guard the door. I’ll be back,” he whispered sternly before turning to take off out beyond the limits of the monastery’s gates.
The day was beautiful with the blue sky and sun above granting warm rays to the earth and the sea of color that spread out as the field was in a full bloom of wildflowers. Yuuji all but pranced like a rabbit through the fields, hopping about as his passage disturbed grasshoppers to leap away and little puffs of flies to go whizzing off for lazier perches. Yuuji grinned, trying to capture one of the grasshoppers with clumsy snatches, nearly tripping over his too big sandals several times.
He wandered from the monastery and the familiar trees used for teaching classes and his small size made it easy for him slip by through tall waving grasses and flowers. He was all but wading through them, the bright pink of his hair more akin to a flower which he felt made him all but invisible. He trudged his way along until he came to a worn path the monks would take up into the forest to forage when times were a bit more lean.
For a moment, Yuuji paused before the forest, looking up at the towering trees and the darkness that seemed to swallow up even the rays of the day, allowing only a few sprinkles of sunshine through the thick, bristled branches of the old growth trees. Yuuji pursed his lips thoughtfully as he debated going in before he shook his head.
The forest was still a touch too scary for him, at least for going in alone. If there were other young monks his age, then maybe he would have more courage to explore such gloomy corners of his small world.
Yuuji instead made his way along a smaller path that led to a tumble of rocks where the graveyard of the monastery was tucked away. There he started to explore and look at the tiny carved statues and try to mimic their poses, grinning all the while. He couldn’t read the names on any of the graves, but some looked very old and Yuuji tsked a bit as he brushed away leaves and dirt from some. He should bring his broom up here rather than the courtyard and he made a mental note to bring it next time he snuck out.
Still it was nice to play around, but it would be nicer if he had someone his age to play with.
Yuuji sighed as he flopped down on the path beside one of the old graves and he looked up at the blue sky. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and he could almost smell home again with the hazy smoke of houses and the smell of the animals about the little hut he had lived in with his grandfather.
His grandfather had died for three days before anyone came to ask where he was. Yuuji had not been sure what to do. Death had been so new to the four year old. He had just sat in the dark house and wandered outside some to scavenge for some food to bring back and set it by his grandfather’s side as if that would be enough to stir him. Eventually the neighbors had seen him going about in his confusion and asked about his grandfather to which Yuuji had innocently told them he had went to sleep and not awaken for three days.
That is when the adults had come in and covered his grandfather and had a priest come to say words and his body burned.
Then it had a few days in the village elder’s house as they debated on what to do. No family had the means to feed another mouth. They couldn’t sell him as they wished to honor his grandfather’s memory and to a sell a child so young could guarantee a life of more things he did not yet fully grasp.
The elders had thus decided he would be taken to the monastery high in the mountains and presented before the monks there and see if he would be worth training into the religious order.
Master Baso had looked Yuuji over and made him do all sorts of funny tests before declaring the boy had talent and they would see to his training. Yuuji had just been excited to be told he was talented in something.
His grandfather often told him his talent had been in having nothing between his ears and wandering off into trouble.
Which to Yuuji, didn’t sound like good talents to have.
The young monk sat up some and let out a sigh as he brushed off his robes and started to toddle off back towards the monastery. No doubt brother Dayu would be going out is way to try and catch Yuuji not doing his duties. Yet as he approached the monastery, he felt his heart sink as he saw the back garden door was closed as the class outside had finished. A loud sigh escaped Yuuji and he pouted, knowing now he would have to walk all the way around to the front entrance now.
Which was not an easy thing to do with how rocky and bramble filled it was, but the little boy had the tenacity to do it. Even if he did come out of the woods and onto the grand path leading to the monastery covered in dirt, his robes torn and grinning to himself as if no one would notice and ask how he had gotten himself into such a state. He brushed himself off and tugged leaves and twigs out of his hair as he hurried up the steps and into the main courtyard, glancing around to try and be as sneaky as possible to get back to his broom.
“Ah, Yuuji, there you are,”
Yuuji froze, crouching like a dog about to get scolded as he turned towards the voice of master Baso. The master stood beside a tall monk, dressed in the kimono of an anointed one blessed with the talents to fight demons and spirits. The man exuded a calm that had Yuuji quickly turning around to drop a low bow, “Ah, hello master Baso and uh-”
“I am master Kotarou,” The tall monk said with a smile as he lifted the hat he wore to better look at Yuuji, “And I’ve heard good things about you from your master,”
Yuuji felt his ears turn red as he looked to the side, “I mean, I am the best sweeper in all the monastery,” he murmured, fidgeting a bit.
Kotarou chuckled, “And a sense of humor,”
“The boy has trouble holding his tongue at times,” master Baso said with a small sigh, “Tends to speak whatever thought comes into his mind, good manners or no,”
“Nothing wrong with that. He is still very young,” Koatrou said as he pulled his hat from his head and turned back to the staring novice monk, “So Yuuji, the great sweeper of Wakasa, do you think you can handle another very important task for me?”
Yuuji blinked before he puffed up, nodding seriously, “I can do it!” he said eagerly.
The idea of a monk who fought curses looking to him to do some important task had him all but glowing with pride and want to please.
The old monk smiled and with his free hand, reached down beneath the cloak he wore and to the robes, patting something there and with some coaxing, a boy emerged from within, although he seemed to refuse to let go of the monk’s robes as he was revealed. The boy seemed about Yuuji’s age with hair a similar shade if but a shade darker.
He had sharp blue eyes and odd marks along his cheeks like little cuts and wore his robes very baggy with the arm holes looking too big for someone his size. Really he looked very small, lost in such heavy robes with a bit of a plumpness about his middle. It made Yuuji think of the plump little field mice that used to scurry around his grandfather’s field. Skittish, but always looking like they were busy with some other business.
Yuuji stared at the boy who stared back at him with a guarded look as he clutched tight to the hand of the monk. There was a thin smile on the old monk’s face as he looked at Yuuji, “This is Ryomen. Do you think you can look after him?”
Ryomen curled in closer against Kotarou, eyes narrowing all the more. To Yuuji, he looked so scared and guarded. It reminded him of some of the village dogs that were given whippings when they didn’t jump fast enough to get out of the way of drunken owners.
Yuuji smiled though, as even if the boy was scared looking, he was still Yuuji’s age.
And that made him already halfway to being a friend in the small boy’s book.
“I’ll take care of him, I promise!” he said, holding out his hand then to Ryomen, “I’ll show you all around the monastery!” he leaned in a touch, “And all the best hiding spots from brother Dayu when he wants to turn you into an egg like him,”
“An egg?”
It was the first time Ryomen had spoken and the question was laced with doubt. His voice was so soft and timid sounding. Yuuji though just beamed and nodded, pointing to his head, “Master Dayu’s head is so shiny, the sun reflect off it like an egg and he tries to shave all the new monks like that,”
Baso sighed, giving a small pat to Yuuji’s head, ‘Mind your manners Yuuji,” he murmured, “Ryomen will be living with us. The two of you will be trained together by master Kotarou,”
“I’m retiring from my role as a exorcist. The roads are growing too long and these bones too weary,” Kotarou said, giving Ryomen a nudge forward towards Yuuji, “But training two promising souls will be a good end to my long career,”
Ryomen shuffled forward, still so nervous as he looked at Yuuji who once more thrusted out a hand, “He can sleep in my room, even if it isn’t very big,”
“Big enough for the two youngest novice monks,” Baso said with a wave of his hand, “Get him settled Yuuji,”
Ryomen hesitated before slowly he put one of his hands in Yuuji’s own, jumping a bit when Yuuji curled his fingers around it with a smile, “Don’t worry!” Yuuji said, “I promised master Kotarou I would always take care of you and I will. I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay? Even master Dayu! I’ll use my broom and risk getting a swat to keep him from shaving your bald!”
Ryomen blinked and very slowly a slight smile curled his hips as he looked at their held hands. He gave a squeeze back and a nod, “Okay,” he murmured.
Yuuji smiled and he felt such happiness then to have someone his age. He could see Ryomen smiling back, as small as it was.
They held hands for the first time, sealing their fate in that one gesture of innocent kindness.
A vow made. A promise given.
“I’ll take care of you, from now on,”
Chapter 2: Promise
Notes:
Another chapter of little Sukuna and Yuuji await you. So wholesome and sweet!
Enjoy it while it lasts as things are going to start getting to the angst next chapter 83
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After two days of being around Sukuna, Yuuji concluded that his new friend was a bit of an odd one.
The new boy was very skittish and had an obvious fear of people. It seemed he was almost afraid people were going to attack him at any given moment with how he did his best to avoid the attention of others. Yuuji also quickly discovered that Sukuna didn’t like being touched as every time Yuuji had swooped in to try and give him a hug or slap to the back, Sukuna would skitter off, wide-eyed like he was being personally victimized by Yuuji’s exuberance.
Sukuna was also very shy and soft-spoken. Sometimes Yuuji had to lean in close just to hear what his new friend said as Sukuna seemed to act as if he spoke up, he would be punished for it. Then of course when they laid down to sleep, Sukuna would always stay awake until Yuuji went to sleep first and then would be up before Yuuji was, as if afraid of Yuuji seeing him at all.
Yet for how odd and distant Sukuna was, he had become Yuuji’s shadow in the monastery, always following Yuuji’s lead, and when they took their meals, practically hid behind Yuuji to avoid being seen from others. Not that anyone really cared to look at the two little novice monks who sat at the far end of the table in the corner. They were already invisible by size and rank alone.
“I’m getting real sick of just vegetables,” Yuuji grumbled as he poked at the pile of steamed vegetables piled over his rice, “Making me eat like a bunny!”
“What else would you eat though?” Sukuna asked with a low murmur.
Yuuji blinked and looked to his friend, “I mean, there are things like fish or chicken or if you are really lucky,” he sighed, looking up at the sky in a daze of memory and nearly drooling, “wild pheasant,”
“But, aren’t those all animals?” Sukuna asked softly, “We aren’t suppose to eat animals,”
“They are animals and they can be really cute, but oh, they are so delicious too,” Yuuji murmured, squirming some, “Did you never eat any meat before?”
Sukuna shook his head, “Master Kotarou only served vegetable,” he picked a few pieces up to roll into the rice before scooping it into his mouth, “I don’t think I want to eat living things though. I want to be a really good monk and that means no living thing should get hurt,”
“Yeah I guess you can’t eat meat if you want to be a really good monk,” Yuuji sighed as he scooped up some of his food, “But the vegetables don’t even got spices or sauce on them. Everything taste so blah,”
The young boy sighed, but dutifully ate his meal while Sukuna poke at his, nibbling at it like a mouse and taking his time to clean up every bite. Yuuji stretched out some, listening some to the monks talking nearby. He leaned in a touch, ears pricked to catch of word of anything interesting today.
A grin was on his face though as he caught word of something especially exciting. Yuuji turned to Sukuna with a small nudge, “There are some nobles and merchants that come to the shrine sometimes and leave sweets on the altar as offerings,”
Sukuna looked at his friend with a tilt of his head, “Does the Buddha like sweets?” he asked softly.
“No, but I take the sweets and trade them for apples because Buddha needs more apples in his diet,” Yuuji whispered.
That had Sukuna’s eyes widening, “Isn’t that bad?”
“Not bad if we give Buddha the good apples,” Yuuji said in a sing-song voice, rising to his feet as the morning meal was dismissed by the head of the monastery, “We can get a bunch of apples and then get the sweets and then sneak outside and eat them!”
Sukuna looked unsure as he wobbled up to his feet, looking around at the older monks, “What if we get caught though?” he whispered nervously, “I don’t want to get in trouble,”
“Blame me! Brother Dayu already thinks I’m a troublemaker, but I’m not,” Yuuji said with a small huff, “I just like eating things that don’t taste like stinky vegetables and rice all day everyday!”
Sukuna blinked before he was quickly falling into step behind Yuuji as they left, as always hiding behind the other boy to try and hide away, “Did you eat all that?”
“When I lived with my grandpa I ate good stuff,” Yuuji said as he led the way to dingy kitchen of the monastery, “But I have gotten a few sweets off the altar,”
The two boys picked up their brooms from the kitchen and soon they marched into the courtyard, Yuuji in the lead. Around them, the other monks attended to their own duties, as always ignoring the two youngest novices of the order. Yuuji cast a look around before he started to sweep. As always, Sukuna followed his lead, always more hesitant in his actions.
Today though, Yuuji’s mind was clearly not on his task as he looked about, keeping an eye out for Brother Dayu as he started to sweep along, walking sideways out of the courtyard and into the side paths that wove between the buildings of the monastery. Sukuna paused before following after Yuuji, looking around.
“Aren’t we suppose to sweep the courtyard?” he murmured.
Yuuji shook his head, “We do that, we will miss out for sure! Especially when we need to get the super good apples,” he returned.
Sukuna blinked, “Where are they found?”
“The good apples come from a tree near the east wall. Some of the branches dangle in and drop apples when they are all big and ripe,” Yuuji explained as he began to sweep in that direction, still keeping an eye out for any monk that may chase them back to task in the courtyard.
“What makes them so good?” Sukuna asked as he shuffled along behind Yuuji.
“Because one time, I saw a beam of moonlight hit the tree and it made all the apples glow super shiny!” Yuuji said excitedly, “Like a goddess was touching them! So of course they must be special apples!”
Sukuna’s eyes were round and wide at Yuuji’s explanation, almost in awe of the ‘wisdom’ that Yuuji pretended to exude, “Really?”
Yuuji nodded with a serious expression, “Super really,” he said, dropping his voice into a low whisper, “If you eat them, they give you a super bad tummy ache, because they are only suppose to be eaten by super holy people like Buddha,”
“Oh,” Sukuna said softly and giving a nod, “That makes sense,”
Sukuna fidgeted a bit, looking to Yuuji, “And it is really okay to swap them for the sweets?”
“Yep! It is an even trade!” Yuuji gave a look around as they came to the east wall, before he was pointing over to where the tree hung over the wall, “There it is! The holy moon goddess tree!”
The tree itself was tall and gnarled, the branches twisted around like rough knots of fingers and just as brittle with age. At some point, the wind had blown it off kilter, making it grow up and over the wall to tangle long branches into the small path below. Between the dark leaves, small round apples could be seen, each a shade of red spattered with spots of green. A few of the small fruits had already dropped to the path, some spattering in grimy mess while others had decayed onto the path, letting out a sickening sweet smell. Yuuji hurried over to those already on the ground, using the toe of his sandal to nudge them around. He pouted with a sigh before looking over to Sukuna.
“All the ones on the ground are stinky and old,” he complained, “Not good for trading for sweets,”
Sukuna shuffled after him, clutching his own broom as he looked at the tree and the mess below and then back to Yuuji, “So now what?”
“None of the ones on the ground are any good,” Yuuji mumbled, kicking one of the half rotten fruits, “so we have to get them from the tree,”
“How?” Sukuna asked with a blink.
“Usually I climb the wall and balance as nimble as a monkey to get some with my broom,” Yuuji said, “But with your help, we can get them easier,”
Yuuji grinned wide, “You can hoist me up on your shoulders and then I can knock some down with my broom that way,”
The suggestion had Sukuna shuffling his feet, looking nervous then as he looked around, “I don’t know. That sounds dangerous. What if I drop you or something?”
“It will be fine!” Yuuji said, spreading out his arms wide, “I climb up on your shoulders. You hold my feet, and I swing with my broom and we get the apples! Then we get sweet mochi!”
“Is it really worth all this work?” Sukuna murmured.
Yuuji blinked, looking to the other boy, “have you never had mochi before?” He asked in a horrified whisper.
Sukuna blinked, bending back a little as Yuuji leaned in, “No?” he put forth hesitantly.
“It is like only the best and greatest thing every!” Yuuji exploded loudly, Sukuna nearly falling back in trying to lean away from Yuuji’s excitement, “Once you get a taste, you’ll be like, in nirvana for sure! It is so sweet and delicious and gooey and you just got to try one!”
Yuuji was all but bouncing on his feet them, all the more assured of his plan to swap out sweets for apples now that he knew his friend hadn’t tried them, “And it will be even more delicious because I will get to share it with you!”
“With me? Why does that make it better?” Sukuna asked, cheeks flushing a tad.
“Because you are my new best friend of course!” Yuuji said without hesitation and a smile, “And I want to share in things with you,”
Sukuna worried his lip and looked up at the apples, “I guess I could try to lift you,”
“That’s the spirit,” Yuuji said stepping up close, “Kneel down so I can get on your shoulders!”
For a moment Sukuna hesitated with his usual strike of fear, tensed up, before slowly he did as he was told. Yuuji wasted no time in kicking off his sandals and climbing up on his friend’s shoulders. Quickly, Sukuna grasped onto Yuuji’s ankles as he rose up unsteadily, wobbling some but doing his best to keep even footing as he looked up at Yuuji.
“Can you reach?” he asked.
“I got this!” Yuuji said, sticking his tongue out as he carefully nudged the handle of his broom up to swat at low hanging fruits to try and knock them down.
He managed to get a few down, but in order to get two sweets, more would be needed by his simple child logic. Sukuna winced as Yuuji’s feet kneaded at his shoulders, “Hurry up!”
“Just a few more!” Yuuji leaned a bit forward, eager to get a particularly plump apple to fall and squeaked as he lost his footing.
A hand grasped firmly onto his ankle to yank him back and Yuuji blinked, as it felt, for a moment, like there had been three hands. He looked down though, noting only Sukuna’s two hands and his friend looking flustered, teeth gritted and refusing to look up.
“I think we got enough,” Yuuji murmured, taking the reaction as he had caused Sukuna some pain.
“Yeah,” His friend murmured, voice so low and soft as he helped Yuuji to hop down.
He withdrew back a few steps, curling up in on himself as Yuuji watched him curiously, “You okay?”
Sukuna gave a small shrug, “Yeah,” he snuck a worried glance towards Yuuji, “You didn’t see anything right?”
“What would I see?” Yuuji asked in confusion as he moved to gather the knocked down apples into his robes.
“Nothing,” Sukuna murmured, his voice so soft Yuuji barely even caught the word as he moved then to help pick up apples.
Yuuji regarded his friend with a searching look before he was brushing it off, his mind once more focusing on the task at hand and the mochi that awaited them at the end of their endeavors. With his robes stuffed with apples, Yuuji toddle towards the monastary proper as fast as he could, bare-footed as he had not put his cast off sandals back on, “Come on, this way!”
“But your sandals and the brooms!” Sukuna protested.
“Get them later! Come on! The nobles are already here!” Yuuji yelled back.
Sukuna stood there, looking torn before he let out a soft sound of distress and took after Yuuji, ducking down behind his friend’s back as they headed towards the altar room that dominated the center of the monastery. A fanciful procession of nobles and merchants were here today to pray for good luck on endeavors, bowing their heads in reverence as they entered.
Yuuji scurried past the main entrance and around the side to a smaller door used by the monks when needing to access the building when there were larger crows to entertain at the front. The door had been left wide open to help air out the building and smoke from the lanterns within.
The two boys peaked through the side entrance like a pair of thieves, watching as a procession of a noble and rich merchants came to leave their offerings and give prayer for good fortune. There was an array of offerings left from exotic imports of spice from lands unknown, to various fruits and flowers. What Yuuji focused on was the plates of mochi left out, each one molded and decorate with care. Just the sight of it had his mouth watering as he imagined the taste of tantalizing sweetness on his tongue.
“Follow me,” Yuuji whispered, shuffling into the room and making his way sideways along the wall like an odd spider, hands fisted in his robes to keep the apples from falling.
Sukuna followed after him, tensed and pressed against the wall, eyes wide like he was expecting to be struck down at any moment for their transgressions. So very carefully, ignored by all, the two boys made their way behind the altar where Yuuji shuffled down, wiggling his way under a gap below the platform the grand central statue sat on. Sukuna stared before he was dropping down to follow after him.
“This is not good Yuuji,” Sukuna whispered, the two of them now below the altar with a thin slit of light looking over the various offerings.
“S’fine. I do this all the time!” Yuuji whispered back with a wave of his hand, “Just watch!”
Yuuji had actually only done this twice so far, but that meant to the logic of a five year old that his technique for snatching sweets was perfected. Carefully he reached his small hands through the slit and delicately placed finger tips on the plate of mochi and tugged it towards himself. Once they were closer, with a deftness that belayed his age, he snatched some of them before quickly shoving the apples out one by one whenever someone wasn’t looking. Once his bounty of apples had been shoved through, a few of them rolling comically out onto the floor and causing some people to look, Yuuji ducked down putting a finger to his lips and a jerk of his head back to where they had come from.
The whole time Sukuna had watched, eyes wide with a mixture of terror and awe at his friends sneaky trick. He barely could get himself moving again to follow Yuuji, glancing around as if expecting the wrath of the gods upon them, or at least the wrath of a rod to their rears for such blasphemous little actions. Yuuji squirmed out first, keeping a look out as he reached down to grab Sukuna’s hand to pull him out.
“This way,” Yuuji whispered, shuffling like a little crab in a squat that would make Buddha envious towards the garden door.
Sukuna followed at a low crawl, nearly on his belly as he moved forward, eyes darting about quickly. Soon though they were back out the side door and Yuuji was dropping into the gardens and taking off at a quick run towards the back garden door, “Hurry!”
A squeak escaped Sukuna as he rushed to catch up, nearly tripping over his sandals several time before he just kicked them off to run barefoot after his friend. The two young novice monks made their daring escape out the open door and into the waving fields of grass, Yuuji nearly out of breath before flopping down into it, now out of sight of all. Sukuna flopped beside him, panting hard and eyes wide as he looked to his friend.
“I can’t believe you did that,” he whispered.
“We did that,” Yuuji said with a grin, holding up the sweets he pilfered in triumphant, one in each hand, “And now we get to have mochi!”
Sukuna blinked, looking down as Yuuji shoved one of the treats into his hand, “For my best friend ever who without his help, we would have nothing but vegetables and rice,” Yuuji declared with a large, warm smile.
For a moment, Sukuna sat there looking at the treat and then at Yuuji, “We met only a few days ago, but, you keep saying we are friends?” he asked, almost unsure.
“Yep!” Yuuji said, his smile never leaving his face and a twinkle now in his eyes, “So much my friends that I actually got you something extra!”
Yuuji reached into his robes to pull out a third mochi, dramatically holding it out to Sukuna, “I got you double for your first sweet experience!”
Sukuna stared at the second treat wide eyed before he sniffled, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked down. A hand came up to start rubbing at his face as his small shoulders shook and the soft sound of crying escaped him. Yuuji blinked, slowly retracting his hand with the treat as he regarded Sukuna, “What’s wrong?”
“You are so nice,” Sukuna croaked out, “But, if you knew what I was, if you really saw me, you wouldn’t want to be friends. You would never want to be my friend then,”
Yuuji blinked, looking confused as he knelt down in front of his friend, placing all three treats in his lap before taking Sukuna’s hands in his own, “What do you mean by that? Of course you would always be my friend! Nothing you could do or say or show me would change that!”
“Really?” the question was so bitter, unsure and upset, “Then what would you do if you saw this?”
Sukuna looked up then and Yuuji blinked. Then he blinked again as he silently stared at his friend. There were not two eyes looking at him now, but four. Two second eyes had opened from the odd slits on his friend’s face.
Yuuji opened his mouth and closed it, brow furrowing before he finally let out a huff, “So what you got four eyes! That is just double the eyes to see how much you are my friend with,” Yuuji said stubbornly.
“And what about this?” Sukuna asked, his tone still bitter and skeptical as he held out his arms, “Doesn’t this make you not see me as a friend?”
Yuuji watched, eyes wide as something moved beneath his friend’s robes and then a second pair of arms left the once far too wide sleeves of his robes.
He couldn’t help but thing of the rumors from the monks for the four armed, four-eyed demon child, but Sukuna wasn’t like those rumors. His friend was so quiet and polite. Gentle and so afraid of the world. Sukuna didn’t eat meat after all, and so there was no way he would have eaten a servant.
Yuuji let out a huff, reaching out to slap his palms against the top pair of hands, then the lower ones, “Four arms for double the hugs,” he concluded boldly, “I don’t see what you are upset about this! As if I would say this is a bad thing!”
Sukuna was staring at Yuuji, tears in all four eyes as he swallowed, “Well, what about this?”
He pulled up his robes high enough then to show off his stomach. Before Yuuji could ask what he was even showing him, a seam in his friend’s stomach split and a mouth opened up, a tongue sticking out slightly at Yuuji.
That had Yuuji’s eyes widened and he sat back just a moment and he could see Sukuna flinch and look away, “I’m not normal,” Sukuna said bitterly, “So why would you be friends with me?”
Yuuji stared at him before he picked up the two mochi treats in his lap. He frowned before he looked at Sukuna seriously, “Well, it was a good thing I got you two treats!” He declared, “One for the mouth here,” he said as he shoved one the mouth in Sukuna’s face, “and one for the mouth down here!”
Yuuji put the other treat in the stomach mouth before sitting back, picking up his own treat, “Now every mouth is fed!”
Sukuna stared at Yuuji wide-eyed before he started to sniffle again, taking the mochi from his mouth with two hands and flopped back into a sitting position. The mouth on his stomach had taken in the treat with one easy swallow before closing up. His friend sat there, holding the other mochi with all four arms, looking like he might cry harder.
“Is it good?” Yuuji asked with a smile before taking a bite into his.
“Yeah. It is very good,” Sukuna choked out before he nibbled it, “Very good,”
He let out a soft sound, curling up to rest his head against his knees as he clutched onto that mochi as if it was the greatest gift ever given to him. Yuuji scooted closer, leaning up against his friend’s side, feeling a pain in his chest for how sad Sukuna was, “Mochi is pretty good,” Yuuji murmured, unsure of what even to say to comfort Sukuna, “I cried too when I ate my first one. It was so sweet, I didn’t know what to do,”
“I like it,” Sukuna said, voice choked with tears, “I like it like I like you, Yuuji,”
Four eyes peered up at Yuuji, blue eyes watery with tears, “You’ll really be my friend, even if I’m like this? Like a monster?”
“You aren’t a monster,” Yuuji retorted, “You are my friend Sukuna Ryomen. My best and only friend in the whole wide world! That means it is impossible to be a monster because I’m not friends with monsters,”
That earned a wobbly smile from Sukuna and he took another, larger bite of the sweet treat, leaning against Yuuji more, “I like being your friend,” he murmured, “You’re the only friend I’ve ever had,”
“Really?” Yuuji asked in a whisper, “But how is that possible!? You are so nice!”
Sukuna looked away, “The boys at the other monastery I was at with Master Kotarou called me a demon. I accidentally used my other arms, and they screamed. Then we had to leave. Master Kotarou told me,” Sukuna swallowed hard, his words starting to stutter with emotion, “He told me that I can’t ever show anyone ever. That I’m special, but people might not understand that. I need to learn to try and… look normal to people,”
“That’s silly. People are silly,” Yuuji said with a huff, turning towards Sukuna and spreading his arms, “But since I know you really now, does this mean I can get a hug and you won’t go running away?”
Sukuna blinked, before giving a small smile, “Yeah. I guess,”
“Because I get no hugs in this monastery and my grandpa used to hug me everyday. And the neighbor lady too! She used to give me hugs!” Yuuji said with a huff, arms spread, “Hugs are what makes everyone feel better and I’m not getting any!”
Sukuna hesitated, “With two arms or-”
“You got four arms! That means double the hugs!” Yuuji retorted, finally getting fed up enough to wiggle close and seize his friend into a hug, “Like this!”
Sukuna tensed, letting out a squeak, eyes wide as if expecting Yuuji to change his mind or do something nefarious. After a moment though he blinked, looking down at Yuuji before returning the hug with a small smile. They sat there in that hug for a short time before Yuuji pulled away with a warm smile.
“I won’t tell anyone, if you don’t want me to, but maybe one day you can show everyone, right?” Yuuji said with an innocent smile, “One day you can just be you,”
“Maybe,” Sukuna murmured, bringing his legs to his chest, “But, at least, with you, I don’t have to feel so alone and like I’m … not human,”
“Silly,” Yuuji said, patting his head, “You are as human as me,”
He looked back though as he noticed the monks outside for the meditation class were stirring, “But we need to sneak back in or we get locked out of the garden and have to climb our way to the front gate,”
Sukuna nodded, the bottom pair of eyes closing tight and the second pair of arms curling in, returning to hugging about himself and making him look a bit plump about the waist again, “Okay,”
His hand found Yuuji’s easily as the other boy was already reaching for his. Yuuji smiled warmly, glowing with that usual cheer of his as he tugged Sukuna along. Without question, he followed, unable to keep from smiling himself.
“Yuuji?” Sukuna murmured as they headed back towards the gate.
“Yeah?”
Sukuna looked down at their held hands, giving it a harder squeeze, “You said you won’t let anything happen to me,” he murmured, “Well, I won’t let anything ever happen to you okay? I’ll keep you safe too. No matter what I have to do,”
Yuuji blinked, flushing a bit wit ha sheepish grin, “Then we take care of each other! Right until the end,”
Sukuna nodded, “I won’t let you die. I would rather die first,”
“Aw! Don’t be so dramatic like that!” Yuuji said with a laugh, “We won’t die ever,”
He gave one of his knowing nods as they reached the gate, shuffling in among the older monks who gave a glance down at the two smaller heads slipping in to dart off into the gardens.
Sukuna blinked, “How do you know that?” he asked.
Yuuji let go of his hand and turned to him, a hand on his chin as he mimicked master Baso in mannerism, dropping his voice low to try and copy his voice, “Because I have seen it, novice Ryomen. When I was small, I once saw a hawk catch a bird out of the sky, but then the same bird flew away unharmed. It was then I knew I was blessed with all but everlasting life and to grow old,”
Sukuna blinked, before his eyes narrowed a tad in confusion, “What?”
“I saw a sign! My grandpa always said nature is full of signs from the gods, a hundred little things we have to watch carefully,” Yuuji said with a grin flopping back on the ground again, “Also the neighbor lady said she could read palms and learned from a trader from a land across the ocean and she said my life lines are long,”
Sukuna gave a huff, looking down at his friends, “You are silly,”
Both boys broke into a fit a giggles then before both stopped as a loud voice echoed over the gardens, “Yuuji! Ryomen! Where are you two lazy boys!? The courtyard has hardly been swept!”
Brother Dayu swept towards them, his robes billowing out and making him look a thunderous storm approaching them, all while the sun gleamed menacingly off his bald head. Yuuji swallowed, but put himself between the approaching monk and Ryomen, puffing his chest out, “We did sweep it! Not our fault the wind made it dirty again!” he retorted.
“A likely story!” Brother Dayu huffed scruffing both novice monks, “If that courtyard is not spotless enough to eat off of by the evening meal, you’ll go to bed hungry!”
“Maybe you want to eat off the courtyard, Brother Egg, but I wouldn’t lick at dirty rocks like you!” Yuuji retorted, squirming in his grip.
Sukuna just hung limply, eyes wide and refusing to make a sound and look as small as possible. Casting a look over at Yuuji as if to will him to close his mouth. Brother Dayu raised himself up to his full furious height, his face beat red and the sun seemed to grow even brighter against his bald dome as he glowered at Yuuji.
“Such impudence! I should go get the switch on you!” he declared.
“Buddha said be peaceful, not get nasty switches to innocent children like me!” Yuuji retorted, sticking out his tongue.
“Buddha also said be humble and not a giant brat!” Brother Dayu declared, dropping both Yuuji and Sukuna in the courtyard, “Now do your duty!”
Yuuji pulled a face at Brother Dayu’s back, “Boiled brother egg head!”
“Yuuji! You are going to get in trouble!” Sukuna hissed worriedly.
“I’m always in trouble with him,” Yuuji huffed, moving to pick up his discarded broom and starting to sweep around in a little fury of dust and leaves, “So I don’t care what he does! He always says he is going to give me good beating but he never does. He calls me a brat and boils so red his entire head steams like a volcano, but I know he won’t do a thing!”
Yuuji flashed a grin, tilting his head, “I’m too adorable to hit,” he said in a sing song voice.
Sukuna stared at him before grinning a bit cheekily, “I’ll hit you,” he said, swatting at Yuuij with is broom.
Yuuji yelped but laughed, brightening up as Sukuna initiated a little playful banter for the first time. He couldn’t help but sweep over at him in turn, “How rude! After making you my best friend! Traitor!”
They got very little sweeping done and despite Yuuji’s scoffing at never being punished, both of them were dismissed to their beds without dinner, although neither one cared too much. Yuuji sprawled out on his mat, staring up at the rafters of their room, clutching the dirty stuffed tiger he had since he was even smaller to his chest, “He didn’t even try to eat off the courtyard,” Yuuji grumbled.
“I say that makes it unfair to punish us for sure,” Sukuna said with a huff, flopping beside Yuuji.
“We should tell Buddha they aren’t being fair tomorrow during morning prayer,” Yuuji said sullenly, “So karma kicks their bums,”
Sukuna gave a nod, glancing to Yuuji as he watched his friend clasp the tiger doll tighter to his chest, “Where did you get that?”
“My mother made it for me, I think,” Yuuji said with a shrug, “I’ve had it since I was a baby. Its my little guardian Masato,”
“..did your mother love you?” Sukuna asked quietly, staring at the ceiling.
“I don’t know. My grandpa always called her a...a….” Yuuji huffed, making a face, “A word I’m not old enough to say,”
“Oh,” Sukuna murmured.
“Was your mom also a word I’m not old enough to say?” Yuuji asked, looking over at Sukuna.
“Maybe,” Sukuna murmured, “I never knew my parents. Master Kotarou raised me since as far as I can remember,”
The two lay there as the last rays of the sun faced through the small windows in the room, plunging it into darkness with only the soft chirps of insects outside and the shuffling of monks as they returned from their evening meals and prayers and to their quarters to rest.
“Master Kotarou sounds like a kind man,” Yuuji murmured.
“He is. He is like a father I guess,” Sukuna opened all four eyes then, looking over at Yuuji, “He told me I have talent as a sorcerer like him. Someone who can fight curses and stuff. That I can do good things,”
Yuuji smiled, looking back at him, wiggling closer so his hand found his friend’s hand in the dark, “I think you would be good at that,”
Sukuna’s hand squeezed onto Yuuji’s relaxing some. The second right hand sneaking up to wrap around their held hands too, “You’ll be with me right?”
“Right by your side,” Yuuji promised, “Because I’ll also be a powerful sorcerer. We’ll go together,”
Sukuna smiled, “Good,”
The two lay in silence then, stomachs growling some, but there was a warmth that seemed to make it not so bad. A punishment they suffered together gladly.
Sukuna rolled over then, wrapping Yuuji into a hug, “Goodnight Yuuji,”
Yuuji blinked before he smiled warmly, throwing his two arms about Sukuna tightly, “Night Ryomen,”
And as the chill of the night crept in, both of them dozed off to sleep with the soft gentle lullaby of the nighttime insects dancing through the open windows and the soft tinkling of chimes as the wind touched gentle fingertips against the earth.
An innocent, but sincere first friendship in a small slice of paradise set apart from the troubles of the world.
A vow strengthened.
And a prelude of the warning to come.
Notes:
The worse part about this story is I know what is coming and writing these beans makes me sad 83
Chapter 3: A Warning
Notes:
The Angst seasoning is bein added now... pray for these beans.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The sun was not even up when Yuuji was dragged from a deep sleep into the cold morning of the waking world of dawn by a pair of warm hands shaking his shoulders. The low rumble of the temple bells were echoing across the monastery to wake the monks for their duty for the day and to wake farmers to prepare for their own day in the valley below.
Yuuji let out a yawn, blinking and looking up to where Sukuna had woken him with two arms, the other pair carefully cradling a lit flame with a small dish to provide a little light for their cramped room. Yuuji offered a sleepy smile, rubbing at his eyes as he began to sit up, shivering some as abandoning the relative warmth of his small bed had him exposed to the chill air of the dying autumn days.
“I’m up, I’m up,” he murmured.
“Not even the bells can rouse you anymore,” Sukuna said with a hint of a smile on his face as he moved to set the lit flame up on a small shelf before moving to strip himself of his sleeping robes, “What would you do if I wasn’t here to wake you?”
“Probably get chewed out by master Dayu some more,” Yuuji said with a yawn as he moved to quickly get dressed, stripping his thin sleeping robes for the heavier monk robes.
“I think we can get through this day without that happening, for once,” Sukuna said with a snicker, “It has been five years since I got here and I’ve never seen a monk get into more trouble than you,”
“Not all of us can be model monks and the little apple of the monasteries eye,” Yuuji teased back with a nudge.
Sukuna scoffed, with a roll of his eyes, but a small smile tugged at his lips, “That can’t be true when I get into as much trouble as you. After all, most are starting to see us as a pair of troublemakers,”
“They still think I’m the mastermind when your the one with the bad mouth and mischievous ideas,” Yuuji said through a muffled yawn before coming over to Sukuna, patting the other boy’s belly, ignoring the cheeky grin that appeared on the belly mouth, “Need help holstering the lower arms?”
“Yeah, just can’t get it in right,” Sukuna said with a sigh.
“That’s because you are finally starting to grow, Sukuna,” Yuuji said with mock excitement, “I won’t be able to lord over you once you grow what, maybe a whole inch?”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, “Not my fault you grow like a bad weed,”
Yuuji gave a hum, moving then to help strap in the lower arms more flush against Sukuna, even though he frowned a touch, “This can’t be comfortable to do for a whole day though,”
“You know as well as I do that it has to be done,” Sukuna said, glancing back at Yuuji, “I’ve got to look normal,”
“I wish you could just look like you,” Yuuji grumbled, but finished with getting the arms tied away tight into a hug about Sukuna’s stomach.
“At least I get to let them out at night around you,” Sukuna said with a smile before moving to pull on his robes, patting them down.
To anyone else, it would look only like a bit of pudgy fat about Sukuna’s stomach which, combined with his small stature, just made him look younger than he was. Standing next to Yuuji who had sprouted a few more inches upwards without a lick of fat to be had, Sukuna looked a small squat boy that was more about the eight of eight than the ten years he now had.
Master Baso had compared Yuuji as a gangling sapling that was trying to get tall quickly without bothering to fill out while Sukuna was a black pine bonsai tree trying to escape its container. A pair that stood out for having a similar color of hair, but everything else slowly becoming mismatched.
Yuuji gave a hum, stretching out his tall frame as he was lost within his thick robes before he was patting Sukuna on the head, making full use of the fact Sukuna only came up to his chest, “That’s something. Let’s go get breakfast!”
The two were soon shuffling out of their room, tapping sandals against the stones of the courtyard to get them to fit right as they entered into the dining hall where already steaming bowls of rice porridge were being passed out dutifully by the monks who had spent the early morning preparing the meal. Yuuji sighed as he looked down at his share, glancing over to Sukuna as they took their usual seat at the end of the table.
“I think the portions are getting smaller day by day,” he grumbled.
Sukuna gave a shrug, “Maybe brother Tato is just getting stingy on our portions,”
“All just revenge for saying he keeps overcooking the vegetables into limp boy bits,” Yuuji huffed.
It was an explanation that was easier to grasp onto, even if they both knew it wasn’t true. The monastery sat apart from the real world at times, cloistered away where little of the outside world came in save an occasional rumor. The monks grew and foraged for their own food and lived simple lives, dedicating themselves to their religion and their training to reach higher means of thinking or to learn the proper rites to exorcise curses.
Yuuji and Sukuna though were no longer children. They had heard the rumors that had come in and seen the lines of farmers who came for prayers get thinner and thinner. There was whisper of famine and poor harvest. Even the monks had murmured about how poor their own crops had been.
There was not enough rain. The dry heat had never relented and the crops withered. There were murmurs of more bandits raiding and more vicious curses roaming the land as the misery of the people grew. Disease was starting creep on the land. The whispers of anger and rebellion among the nobility was starting to brew.
Both young monks knew the reason for the slimmer pickings but it was better to believe it was a mere shift in the small world of the monastery that had caused it rather than the threats from beyond.
“If only cursed techniques ran on rumbling stomachs,” Yuuji sighed, “I would become so powerful quickly with how much mine rumbles!”
“That is because you are a glutton for food,” Sukuna said with a slight smirk and glance towards his friend.
Yuuji scoffed, “Yeah? Well at least I’m eating enough to grow! You are going to remain forever small and shorter than me, just you see!”
“I’m just biding my time to grow,” Sukuna answered cheekily, “I’ll beat you in height, and good looks, and in muscles. Just give it a few more years when we are both fifteen!”
“Like heck you will!” Yuuji huffed, nudging Sukuna back, “You’ll never catch up. Never in a thousand years!”
Sukuna chuckled, pausing to nosily slurp down the rest of his rice porridge before he nudged Yuuji back, “We should hurry though. Master Kotarou and Master Baso want us to meet outside the gardens for training today,”
Yuuji nodded, an eager fire burning in his eyes, “Today I’ll show them just how much I’m improving!”
The two were quick to return their bowls to the kitchen before hurrying out. The sunlight was finally peaking over the mountains, sending the fog alight with bright pinks and lazy purple hues as the morning dew picked up ever drip of sunlight. The morning was silent, save a few of the birds that remained rather than taking wing to fly south for warmer climate. Yuuji and Sukuna were quick to hurry out across the fields, ignoring how the dew wet their robes in the cool morning.
The training area had been set aside away from the monastery to provide more secrecy and security for the practice of techniques used to banish curses. Practice dummies hung from the trees and others were attached to posts in the ground, creating a little battlefield of straw men for young sorcerers in training to test their abilities against.
Yuuji was first to arrive, always fast on his feet and panting some as he rested his hands on his knees, “Here!” he managed out, lifting one hand in greeting.
Master Kotarou gave a slight smile while Master Baso sighed, “You are always in a rush Yuuji,” he murmured, “You had the time to arrive still,”
“I am just excited for training today!” Yuuji protested.
Sukuna chuckled, sliding up beside his friend, hands folded in the sleeves of his robes, “He has been practicing hard to make both of you proud,”
Yuuji flushed red in the cheeks and he elbowed Sukuna in his side, “Ryomen! Don’t say that,” he hissed.
“What? It’s true,” Sukuna said with a teasing grin, amused as ever to see how easy it was to get Yuuji flustered.
“Novices,” Baso said, clearing his throat loudly, “At attention now,”
Both Sukuna and Yuuji straightened up, hands folded behind their backs as the old head of the monastery looked to the training dummies, “You’ll be running through the obstacle course today. The goal is to exorcise all cursed dolls you encounter in a timely manner,”
“The focus for this is doing so in the most efficient way possible,” Kotarou added, “When you are in a fight with curses, life and death is sometimes in way you approach the fight, not just in being in the fight quickly,”
Yuuji gave a nod, flushed and looking serious while Sukuna frowned a touch, eyes narrowed.
Baso raised his staff up before bringing it down to the ground, a flair of cursed energy moving outwards. The once still training dolls began to twitch to life, moving and shifting about as the cursed energy reached their cores and granted them life. Silently, they began to mass up on the ground as they detached themselves from the trees and posts. They moved unsteady and boneless, unnatural in their gait, but both boys knew well they could give a hard strike despite their comical sway.
“Yuuji, enter first,” Baso said waving a gnarled hand.
Yuuji straightened up and sucked in a breath before he frowned and moved forward, trying to exude confidence and allowing his cursed energy to slide over his fists.
“Show them how much you’ve improved,” Sukuna murmured, giving him a light nudge as he passed.
Yuuji smiled, although there was a tremble in his form as he stepped in, raising his hands, “I got this,”
And Yuuji did have it for once. Usually such battles left him flat on his back as one enemy managed to slip in a sneaky hit, leaving the young monk grumbling and huffing about some unfair element of the battle. Today though, he remained far more focused, eager to finally complete the obstacle course with hard hits and kicks.
Although his technique, as always, was rapid and messy. He was all attack with little defense save for his own speed as he ducked and weaved about. With no technique yet to emerge, Yuuji fought with pure cursed energy, forcing it out in vicious hits into the dolls, blasting through them a flurry of hits. He had improved in that he managed to finish off all the dolls, but he bore the bruises of hits here and there, his clothes covered in straw, and looking a might worn out from such a fight.
Kotarou hummed, giving a small smile, “You are making improvements Yuuji,” he complimented, “If still lacking a little grace,”
Yuuji flushed, bowing low to the master, “I’ll get there!” he promised, “Just you wait! Once I get a cursed technique, I’ll be so graceful,”
“How about we let Sukuna have his turn now,” Baso said, gesturing to the smaller boy, “So you can watch closely about what grace is suppose to look like,”
Sukuna didn’t hide his scowl giving a small huff as he stepped forward, “You don’t have to always compare us to each other,” he murmured.
“It is not a comparison. Merely an observation,” Baso chided, waggling his staff at Sukuna.
This only resulted in Sukuna giving one of his patent roll of his eyes which he had started to do more as he got older to show his the dislike he very rarely voiced.
Sukuna was well aware that the old masters favored him above Yuuji and it irked Sukuna to no end. It was unfair, especially as Yuuji was yet to find his own technique and Sukuna’s had begun to manifest his own before he even got to the monastery.
The shorter novice stepped forward, taking a calming breath, giving a glance as Baso tapped his staff to the ground. The once torn apart straw dolls pulled themselves back together, all of them standing ready to attack, just as before.
“Let’s begin,” Baso said, raising a hand in a gesture to send the dolls at Sukuna.
Where Yuuji was all fury, Sukuna was all grace. He barely moved at all to keep away from an attack, keeping his form as he brought his hands up in quick gestures, ripping through the dolls with fast, precise lashes, all of them taking off the heads or going for where the cores of each doll was. He didn’t fight as much as move like a dance around attacks, each step calculated as his gaze kept track of his enemies.
Within the breath of a few seconds, the dolls lay defeated, Sukuna barely winded and giving a bow to the masters. Baso gave a hum of approval, stroking his beard, “A very impressive demonstration indeed. Better than even some of our higher level monks,”
“The boy has an innate talent,” Kotarou said with a nod, “No doubt it is time to increase the pace of training for him and Yuuji,”
Baso shook his head, “I think rather, it is time that the two are separated for their training,”he said, looking to the other master, “I can continue to work with Yuuji, but Sukuna is too gifted to be held back in his own training,”
Sukuna felt the hint of a scowl tugging at his lips as he noticed Yuuji wince at those words and look away. The shorter monk squared his shoulders a bit, moving to stand closer to Yuuji, “I do better with my training because Yuuji encourages me to do my best,” he said, frowning, “I won’t accept any training alone. I don’t want to feel like I’m being separated out like I stand above everyone,”
Baso glanced to Kotarou with an imploring look, as it was well known of all the monks at the monastery, it was still Kotarou Sukuna held in highest regards and listened to without question. The old sorcerer hummed a bit, stroking his beard before shaking his head, “They stay together,” he said, “We cannot deny the request of a pupil when it is made with humility in mind,”
An exasperated sigh escaped Baso as he shook his head, “Very well. Then tomorrow I’ll prepare for a harsher training for both,”
Sukuna wanted to scowl all the more, getting the feeling Baso was going to make it intentionally unfair to Yuuji, just to prove the other novice monk couldn’t keep up and humiliate him further. Kotarou could all but sense the displeasure in Sukuna’s look and cleared his throat, “Then I say for the rest of the day, the two of you can return to your duties in the monastery for now. Bright and early tomorrow, we will continue with a higher level of training,”
Yuuji smiled brightly, excited as ever, as if not even aware of how he was being set up for failure tomorrow as he nodded eagerly, “Of course master Kotarou! I’ll be super ready!”
“Both of us will,” Sukuna said with a pointed look to the two older monks, turning on his heels and grabbing onto Yuuji, “Because we always train together and that is how it will be no matter what,”
Master Baso frowned while Kotarou gave a shrug and a smile, making it clear he was not going to fight Sukuna on this. He, at least, was well aware how stubborn Sukuna could be about how he wanted things done.
Yuuji blinked as Sukuna dragged him along, hopping on one foot a few steps before he turned around to trot at his friend’s side, “You are in a mood,” he huffed, “Why? We get to train at a higher level tomorrow!”
“Master Baso is going to humiliate you,” Sukuna growled, “He’s trying to make a point that somehow I’m better off without you,”
Yuuji frowned a touch, shaking his head, “I think they are just proud of you. I mean, I’m proud of you! You may be super short and tiny, but at least you’ll be a cool sorcerer, even if you are tiny!”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, but was unable to keep a smile off his face, “and what, you’ll be a big, muscular sorcerer that kills every curse with a single punch?”
“Of course! You are making your path, and I’ll make mine right beside yours,” Yuuji said with a wide grin before darting forward, dashing towards the monastery, “But last one to their chores is a dirty, stinking bird poop statue!”
Sukuna yelped before he was rushing after Yuuji, “You cheat! You call the race before you start running! Not after!”
But Sukuna never cared when Yuuji won. In fact, he probably let Yuuji win things on purpose more often than not because Yuuji always got excited about every little thing. When he got praised for how clean the floors were or how well polished an altar statue was, Yuuji would beam like the sun for it and there was not a soul in the whole monastery that wouldn’t find themselves smiling in response.
Yuuji had so much passion that Sukuna sometimes felt envious of it.
He also was the one person besides master Kotarou that he held any respect for or cared about.
Sitting on the steps of the temple in the relative shade of the ginkgo trees to escape the afternoon sun, Sukuna fanned himself lightly with a sigh. The morning had been cold, but the afternoon still held stubbornly onto summer’s heat despite the fact winter was soon to come. Running about the monastery in the heavy robes, especially with his lower arms tied up and away, always caused Sukuna to feel a bit overheated and yearn for such breaks in the shade.
Sukuna gave a glance up as Yuuji, stripped to his waist, smiled and offered him a large bowl of rice stacked with vegetables.
“I got us extra portions this afternoon,” Yuuji said with a mischievous wink.
“Stealing from the kitchens again?” Sukuna drawled but accepted the bowl nonetheless.
Yuuji gave a hum, “It isn’t stealing when we will need a lot of energy tomorrow for our big training,” he said, sitting down next to Sukuna.
Sukuna gave a hum as he started to dig in, his stomach eager for the portions given how little breakfast had done to fill him up. He paused though, glancing to the side as he noticed Yuuji wasn’t digging into his own meal with his usual vigor. It had the shorter monk pausing, regarding his friend with a frown, “What’s wrong?”
“You know, I won’t be offended if you did train without me, Ryomen,” Yuuji said at length, glancing to him, “I mean, I don’t even have a technique yet like you. You are really steps above me as a sorcerer,”
Sukuna scoffed, rolling his eyes, “I don’t want to train alone,” he said firmly, “I want to train with you,”
“Ryomen-”
“We both said we are going to be the most powerful sorcerers in the world, right?” Sukuna said looking at Yuuji with a frown, “Then we have to train together too. That’s our dream. We’ve been talking about it since we met, Yuuji. We are going to get there together or not at all,”
Yuuji blinked before smiling a bit more, “Yeah, that’s right,” he gave a small laugh, “But don’t feel like you have to baby me okay?”
Sukuna huffed, “How will you ever get strong if I go easy on you?” he retorted, scooping up another bite of lunch, “Maybe if you didn’t use such boring moves-”
“Hey! My thunderous fists of the tiger king and my triple threat dragon kick are going to be what knocks every curse on their ass!” Yuuji protested, “They are not boring!”
Sukuna snorted, reaching over to flick Yuuji’s forehead, “Just because you name your punching and kicking something cool sounding doesn’t make it so, brat,” he drawled.
“We are the same age practically! How am I the brat?” Yuuji grumbled with a huff before starting to shovel food into his mouth quickly until his cheeks bulged.
Sukuna couldn’t help a chuckle, his gaze falling out over the view of the countryside that stretched out before the stairs of the monastery. From where it stood, the monastery was a small stone fortress that watched over everything below. The single path that wound its way up passed through a sleepy village that sat next to a wide river and beyond that was only fields and more roads that cut through them to places beyond. At night, sometimes there were flickers of light in the distance of other villages that were hidden by the trees and looming mountains. It was a beautiful view that always spoke of peace and tranquility looking out over it.
Yet it was also a view that made it very easy to see when something out of the ordinary was approaching the monastery.
Sukuna paused, head cocked as he noticed a large and gaudy looking parade of people coming through the village on their way towards the monastery. From here, he could hear the raucous sound of performers banging drums and small gongs to clear the way and the high pitched whine of flutes. He pursed his lips as he rose to his feet, giving a smack to Yuuji’s shoulder.
The other boy looked up, cheeks still puffed out with food, “What?”
“There is a noble guest coming,” Sukuna said bluntly, “Best to look presentable and not like a half-dressed courtesan with a chipmunk face,”
Yuuji swallowed down his food and followed Sukuna’s gaze, his interest perked, “Huh. I wonder if they are just passing through and paying respects or if they came for a purpose,” he said as he rose to his feet, “Maybe it is a wedding blessing! They always give out things to us at those!”
Sukuna sighed, “Who cares? They are always so noisy,” he complained.
“You are just a cloistered monk boy who doesn’t understand what fun is,” Yuuji teased back as he pulled his robes back over his shoulders to retie the front, “But we should go see what we can do to help prepare for the guests!”
It was not uncommon for noble guests to visit the monastery. It was one of the largest temples of the new faith from oversees after all and under the emperors of the past few generations, more importance was placed in receiving blessings and living a more holy life. As such, nobles made their pilgrimages to the grander monasteries for blessings or if passing by one, would make a point to stop and lavish the place with grand offerings and gifts.
Yuuji found it all so beautiful to look at, wide-eyed in awe at the flowing robes the nobles wore and how dainty and fragile the various courtesans looked with their painted visages. Even the servants looked so pristine as they rushed with bowed heads to attend to the procession as it made its way through the doors.
Sukuna though frowned at all of it, a slight disdain in his eyes as he watched what he saw as a gaudy fat noble waddle forward, his stomach jiggling under his robes as his swarm of skinny, painted up cranes fawned over him with their squawking voices.
“He looks very rich,” Yuuji murmured as he pulled on the rope to bring water up from the well.
“He looks very fat,” Sukuna drawled, “You would hardly believe we are in a famine with how much weight he carries, like some sort of prized cow,”
“Ryomen! That’s being so rude!” Yuuji retorted, although he was barely holding in a giggle.
“I wonder if he can even find his cock under all that fat,” Sukuna murmured, making Yuuji sputter into giggles again, although he was trying to hide them behind his hand.
“Stop being so vulgar or master Dayu will box your ears,” Yuuji said, trying to shush his friend.
Sukuna gave a cheeky grin, “I never use that language around the adults. Only with you, because you get so giggly about it,”
“The Buddha is going to make you eat soap to cleanse the sinful things your tongue waggles about,” Yuuji said with a snicker.
He gave another tug to bring the bucket of water up and moved to dump it into the larger pails that hung at either end of a long stick of bamboo. Visitors or not, the chores of the day needed to be tended to and with such a noble in their midst, more clean water was to be fetched.
The noble waddled forward with a grace he saw as desirable for one of his stature, looking down his nose at the bowing monks as he passed by on his way to the altar. He wore such fine silks in patterns that had Yuuji staring a touch as he moved to pick up the bamboo stick. Maybe he was a tad jealous that as a monk, he would never get to feel what such silks felt against his skin.
He gave a small sigh, glancing to Sukuna, “Would be nice to wear things like that,” he murmured.
“If you like dressing like a spoiled pig,” Sukuna shot back.
“I bet silk would feel nice and soft,” Yuuji murmured, “Imagine a bed covered in that,”
Sukuna frowned, picking up his own bamboo stick, carefully balancing it on his shoulders to keep the water from spilling, “I guess,” he relented, “I think you would at least look better wearing silk than he does. Come on though. I’d rather not be standing around carrying water,”
“Right,” Yuuji said, dipping his head as he followed behind Sukuna towards the central building of the monastery to deliver the water.
Sukuna always went about things at a quick pace, eyes ahead on completing the task and usually Yuuji followed dutifully behind. Today, Yuuji lingered a bit more, trailing further behind the other boy as he watched the grand procession of the noble as they stopped at the altar, making grand gestures and prayers as they presented rare gifts before the idols stored within.
All the fine and colorful silks and the glittering jewelry that clung to all the women of the court and how the noble, for all his weight, seemed to glow himself with health and fine gold. The long nails of the courtesans were like little works of art, painted and long with designs of various blossoms on them that made Yuuji feel almost ashamed for how rubbed down and rugged his own was from the various chores in a day.
It all looked like they came from another world that he could only fantasize about in dream, imagining himself wearing all that, lounging back and stuffing his face with sweets.
Yuuji was too caught up in his daydreaming to watch where he was stepping and his foot caught over a rock that had bulged out in the uneven pavement of the monastery floor.
Yuuji let out a yelp stumbling forward and trying to keep from falling. He lost his footing some, crashing sideways into one of those fine courtesans who shrieked in alarm. Two buckets of water went flying as Yuuji fell, soaking the noble and his shrieking courtesans who behaved as if water would boil their skin. One of them was crying, her make-up running down her face now from the splash of water she had gotten on herself and the noble, once smiling like a benevolent soul, had that mask slip away to show disdain and fury.
“You clumsy idiot!” the noble snarled as he rounded on where Yuuji sat on the ground, “How dare you dump water on your betters like that!”
“It was an accident!” Yuuji protested, cheeks puffing out even as he burned with shame, “I didn’t mean to-”
“Such insolence should be punished!” the noble howled, “Where is the head monk? I demand to speak with him!”
“I handle the affairs of the novice monks,” an apologetic master Dayu said, stepping forward and bowing low, “It is an unfortunate thing to have happened. I will make sure he is sent to his quarters without dinner-”
“That is not a punishment!” The noble snarled, “The boy should be beaten for such disrespect!”
“It was an accident! I tripped!” Yuuji protested back, scowling some, “What is the big deal? It was only w-”
The noble’s hand came down hard, slapping Yuuji across the face. The boy’s eyes widened at the unfamiliar sting of pain, a hand rising up to his face in shock. Never had he been struck so hard. He could feel a small welt on his cheek from where one of the heavy rings of the nobles had struck. Yuuji touched it, as if trying to understand why he had been hit, staring wide-eyed up at the noble.
There was silence in the courtyard as the noble heaved, blustering in his rage still and he pointed a finger at Yuuji, “If you will not punish the boy properly, then I will do it myself, like I would any unruly servant that needs to be taught his place!”
Master Dayu hurried forward, head bowed, “Please, punish me in the boys place,” he said hastily as he knelt next to the stunned Yuuji, “It is my duty to train our novice monks and his failure is my own, so it is I should have your wrath,”
Yuuji looked at Dayu, eyes wide. The monk had always been the one to hassle Yuuji of course, always loudly arguing with Yuuji over chores, the two often coming to verbal blows, but it was then that it was so painfully apparent that for all the blustered, the monk had always looked out for Yuuji.
Despite all this threats, the most master Dayu had ever done was sending Yuuji to bed without a meal and then give him a little extra at the next meal from his bowl. Never once had he hit Yuuji save a nudge with a broom.
“I want the brat punished,” the noble said coldly, holding out a hand as a servant pressed an elegantly carved staff onto it, decadents in its lacquered polish with the twining dragons that moved about it to hold a large knob of jade at the top, “I’ll show you how you should treat mouthy brats,”
The blow came down hard on Yuuji’s back and he let out a loud yelp, going taunt before dropping low as if to try and avoid the next blow. The second blow found him though, striking him harshly again on his back between his shoulders making Yuuji cry out again. It was some reflex that he put his face to the ground and covered up the his head as best he could as the cane was brought down again and again. The pain was so unfamiliar to the boy. It felt foreign and brought tears to his eyes as he tried to not cry out, but each strike over bruising skin had him choking on his own tears.
The crowd watched on silently, the monks with blank faces, master Dayu turning away stone-faced from each cry that was forced out of Yuuji. The courtesans watched with jeering faces, their servants impassive at such familiar brutality.
Beyond them, at the open door to the kitchen, Sukuna stood, wide-eyed before he was moving to try to get down the stairs. He was jerked back by one arm by the powerful grip of master Kotarou who gave a shake of his head, “You can’t do anything child,” the old monk murmured, “Wait for it to end or you may cause this to go on longer,”
Sukuna just stared wild-eyed up at the old man who was like a father to him before flinching as Yuuji cried out again, louder than before. That sound had Sukuna tugging harder in the grip of the old monk, shaking his head, “No… no I made a promise…!”
The final blow came down viciously against Yuuji and had him arching up afterwards, voice cracked with the pain, his whole back feeling aflame. The noble was panting as he stepped back, straightening his robes some as he looked at the solemn faced Dayu, “That is how you punish those that don’t know their place,”
“That is how you punish a child who did nothing wrong because you would not dare to beat a monk of rank,” Dayu responded coolly.
The noble scowled and looked for a moment like he would hit master Dayu before he scoffed, waving a hand, “I bet the boy will serve this place better after this. You do not spare the rod for brats,”
“Yuuji!”
Sukuna tugged his way out of Kotarou’s grip then, shoving his way past the other monks to get to his friend’s side. He dropped down beside him, looking over Yuuji with a panic as he heard the faint sobs of his friend and unsure what even to do. He merely pulled Yuuji closer, his expression pained for a moment.
Then those blue eyes hardened as he turned his gaze to look at the noble who had done this.
The nobleman frowned, tensing a touch at the look Sukuna gave him before he scoffed, “Don’t you dare look at me with such a frightening look, boy,” he sneered, “You should learn to look docile or to keep your eyes on the ground, as is your place in life,”
Sukuna didn’t respond. Those blue eyes held only contempt as he cradled Yuuji into his arms protectively, starting to try and edge his friend to his feet. No one stopped him as he led a staggering Yuuji away towards their quarters. Yuuji kept his tear-stained eyes on the ground, wiping at them as he choked on his own soft sobs. Sukuna kept his cold gaze on the noble for as long as he could, refusing to look down.
The noble leered back but he turned away first to speak to master Baso as the old monk arrived on the scene.
No one came to disturb the two boys save for master Dayu who brought clean water and soft cloth to help ease the horrible bruising that had been done to Yuuji’s back and then later to bring them both large portions of food for dinner.
The food remained untouched.
Yuuji lay face down on his stomach, head turned to the side as he wiped stray tears from his eyes. It made Sukuna’s chest clench to see Yuuji, usually so bright and full of energy, unable to form a smile and looking so broken. Yuuji’s back bore so many bruises, the whole of it was awash in black and swollen purples, all in the shape of that horrid cane. Gently, Sukuna covered as many as he could up with clothes soaked in hot water, changing them whenever the clothes got cool to the touch.
There was loud laughter and talk from the central hall of the monastery as the noble and his court made themselves at home to feast and make merry for the evening without a care about the tranquility of the place. They were guests that acted as if the home of the monk’s was their estate, and its residents beholden to their whims. The sound of it made Sukuna feel only more disdain, a look of pure contempt shot in the direction of the merrymaking as he set new hot cloths over Yuuji’s back.
“Like a pen of pigs, rolling in their own filth,” Sukuna sneered, “They make a mockery out of this monastery. Master Baso should drive them out,”
Yuuji didn’t respond, giving another sniffle as he turned his head away.
Sukuna glanced down, letting out a sigh as one hand combed through Yuuji’s hair gently, “You didn’t deserve that,” he said quietly, “you didn’t do anything wrong,”
Yuuji gave a small move of his head and another sniffle. One of his hands moved up to cover over Sukuna’s own, giving a gentle squeeze. It made Sukuna’s heart clench all the more. He looked away, teeth clenched, “I should have done something. I could have stopped that bastard from-”
“Then...then you would have gotten hurt too,” Yuuji finally said, his voice hoarse from his sobs, broken and cracked, “I don’t want to see you get hurt,”
“But I-”
“You are taking care of me now,” Yuuji said, turning his head to regard Sukuna with one watery honey-colored eye, a wobbled, little thing of a smile at the corner of his mouth, “That’s all I want,”
Sukuna looked down at him, his expression one that was pained with a want to argue, because he felt that guilt so sharp. Had he not promised to Yuuji he would keep him safe? He had spent so many years doing just that, be it chasing away stinging insects in the gardens to catching Yuuji when he got too adventurous in his climbing to get the best fruit.
All those seemed like small, insignificant things compared to this.
Those times Yuuji may have cried from a scuffed knee or bruised arm.
But not like this. Not so broken and in so much pain that any movement had Yuuji wincing from the bruises and welts that covered his whole back.
Sukuna swallowed, laying down another layer of warm clothes to try and sooth that pain away, one hand stroking through Yuuji’s hair, as if that would be enough to make it all go away, “I wish I could heal you,” Sukuna murmured, “I would make you better if I could,”
“You will,” Yuuji murmured, “One day, when you are a big powerful sorcerer, you’ll be able to do that sort of thing right? Master Kotarou said some sorcerers could regrow limbs,”
Sukuna gave a small nod, offering a humorless smile, “I’ll be able to do that one day,”
He tensed as there was a loud bout of laughter from the hall and he let out a growl, shooting a glare over his shoulder in the direction of the hall, “I hope they all choke on their drink and drown in their own vomit,” he growled out.
“Just ignore them,” Yuuji murmured, tugging Sukuna closer so he could bury his face against his friend’s lap, “People are just...mean sometimes,”
“And you are too forgiving of it all,” Sukuna sighed, glancing to the still untouched food, “You think you can eat a little now?”
Yuuji turned his head to look at the food before giving a nod, “I guess,” he murmured.
A crestfallen sigh escaped Yuuji, a few more tears welling up in his eyes, “I’m going to do terrible in training tomorrow,” he murmured, tensing a bit, “And I was going to do so well!”
Sukuna felt his heart clench all over again and another rush of cloying anger welling up in his belly as he gently brushed a hand through Yuuji’s hair, “I don’t think we will train tomorrow,” he said as he nudged the bowl of food closer to Yuuji, “if they want to try, I’m telling them to...to… to go suck my dick,”
“Ryomen!” Yuuji hissed, “That’s...vulgar!”
“It is how I feel about it,” Sukuna huffed as he shoved a large scoop of rice and vegetables into Yuuji’s mouth, “Now shut up and eat so you heal faster,”
Yuuji gave a muffled sound of protest, but could do nothing but swallow as Sukuna forced him to eat, but there was a hint of his smiling returning at least. Which made Sukuna smile a bit more.
And perhaps say a few more vulgar things about the noble and his court that had Yuuji trying not to giggle again and slap at him for being such a potty mouth. For some reason, it always made Yuuji giggle when Sukuna said things that only potty mouthed whores and farmers would shout out drunkenly at inns. Sometimes when Yuuji was fuming over something, Sukuna would do his best impression of a drunken farmer, waving his hands at the field to make them grow faster that would have Yuuji in stitches and then putting on his best Master Baso impression to chide Sukuna for his bad mouth.
Now though, Sukuna just wanted to see Yuuji smile and laugh like he always did.
Eventually though, Yuuji drifted off to sleep with Sukuna tucking both Yuuji’s blanket and his own about his sleeping friend, wanting Yuuji to be as comfortable as possible. The night was quiet at last as even the rowdy company had gone to bed, leaving Sukuna to sit there alone with only the light of the moon to be his companion to his thoughts.
All four eyes were open now, all four arms free to fold over his lap. His stomach rumbled as he had not eaten his own dinner, instead, giving it to Yuuji. He stared off straight ahead in the darkness, his gaze one of contemplation, touched with a frown of displeasure.
One hand lay next to Yuuji, fingers curled with those of his best friend, the small bit of warmth in the cool night.
It was a reminder of Sukuna’s own guilt in not protecting Yuuji then.
But something else was settling in the young monk’s thoughts, something more vicious that brewed with his anger. It was not fair how Yuuji was treated for just tripping.
All of it was unfair and yet no one, not even master Kotarou had really done anything.
“Don’t you dare look at me with such a frightening look, boy,” the noble’s sneered words echoed in Sukuna’s mind, “You should learn to look docile or to keep your eyes on the ground, as is your place in life,”
Sukuna raised one hand up to his mouth, eyes narrowing.
And slowly a smile began to curl his lips that was a touch more cruel as a thought began to settle into his mind. He had not protected Yuuji, but he was not about to let someone get away with having dared to harm his friend.
And the whole plot in Sukuna’s mind was too fitting for him not to smile as considered a vicious prank to pay the noble back.
With that in mind, Sukuna gave a squeeze to Yuuji’s hand before he rose to his feet, pulling away from his friend and heading out into the silent night to gather what was needed for tomorrow.
The noble’s procession did not leave in the morning. They lingered about the monastery like unwanted guests, priming and dressing for the day and taking their time as if time was a commodity that they alone could freely indulge in.
Sukuna had not waken Yuuji, leaving his friend to his sleep as he went about his chores as always, although he kept an eye towards the slow moving caravan of gaudy and lavish nobility. At last they the began to take their leave with the guards at the front descending down the stairs as the noble moved to start waddling his way down, complaining bitterly of all the steps needed to get down to the road where his carriage sat with servants waiting to carry him along.
He took each step slowly but without care.
Sukuna slunk to the top most step among the other monk’s to watch, crouching like any child wold to get a closer look. One of his hands idly settle down onto a thin piece of rope, grasping onto it with one hand, hiding it within the folds of his robes to avoid attention. No eyes though were on a novice monk when the noble’s splendor was slowly stepping down.
Sukuna cocked his head, holding his breath, before he gave a sharp tug of the rope.
The length of it snaked along the bushes and trees, easily laid out in the early morning when no one else was awake. It spread across the steps like a hidden snake that went taught against the noble’s foot as he took another step, making him trip and fall forward.
The steps of the monastery were steep and the nobleman heavy.
The man’s eyes were bulging out of his head as he fell, hitting one stair and rolling head over heels down another set.
Those eyes, for a brief moment, flicked upwards to the shocked monks standing there, all looking horrified.
Save one. Four cold blue eyes that stared down at him from above, like a king looking about an unwanted vermin in his court as he casually wrapped the rope around his hands before any would notice it was there at all.
The nobleman’s eyes locked with that cold look.
The boy smiled, mockingly, his lips forming familiar words, “Know your place,”
And then there was a sickening crack as the nobleman hit the bottom set of stairs, his head pushed forward at an odd angle from his body. Spit flew from his mouth as he sucked in one confused breath before he landed heavily, lifeless eyes staring upwards.
A courtesan screamed cracked the stunned silence of the onlookers and the entire monastery burst into action with some monks rushing to fetch master Baso and Kotarou, while others went down the stairs to try and help the gathered servants around their fallen master.
Sukuna stared, blinking as the smug look faded to something of confusion, as the prank he had pulled to just make the noble fall wasn’t quiet registering with the reality that had happened. He was half aware of what was going on, the shouts and yells as people crowded around the now dead noble as they tried in vain to get the dead man to respond.
The noble lay, staring and dead, those clouded orbs looking in Sukuna’s direction.
A death that wasn’t meant to happen.
Sukuna stood there, feeling a strange numbness to the world, a confusion that was strange mixed with emotions he was having a hard time to give name to. He stood there on numb legs that felt like they had been weighed down with sawdust. He was pushed around as the dead man’s face was covered.
Sukuna swallowed, turning away as a panic started to fester in his heart and he covered his mouth with one hand as he finally staggered off to the side of the garden, grasping at one of the porch pillars and bent over to throw-up.
He was trembling as he did, panting, feeling hot and cold all at once, like he was suffering a fever as the guilt and horror of his actions sunk in. He stared down at his own sick before he began to move again, trying not to run, but nearly doing so as he rushed back to his shared quarters with Yuuji.
All the noise had startled Yuuji awake and he looked up in sleepy confusion, “What’s going on?”
Sukuna looked at Yuuji blankly and then over his shoulder, “That noble tripped on the stairs,” he said, voice soft, “And he died,”
Yuuji’s eyes widened, “He died? How?”
“He broke his neck,” Sukuna said, the words feeling too large for his mouth.
He was starting to tremble again and he sat down heavily, staring at his hands as they folded into his lap, the twist of robe still wrapped tight around one arm burning like a brand, “He tripped and broke his neck. And now he’s dead,” Sukuna repeated slowly, as if trying to wrap those words around his mind as he looked up at Yuuji, eyes wide.
Yuuji swallowed, sitting up more with a wince to sit cross-legged from Sukuna, “That’s...”he shifted, struggling for the words himself, “That’s sad I guess,” he finally said.
“Why would it be sad? After what he did to you? Doesn’t he… deserve to die?” Sukuna blurted out, almost desperate for Yuuji to agree and give some reason for the death.
“I mean, he had people who loved him. They will be sad,” Yuuji murmured, “I mean, if someone does something wrong, do they just deserve to die like that?”
Sukuna tensed, swallowing pass the lump in his throat, his entire form quaking like he was gripped by a fever, “And what if someone did something really bad, worse than that noble, but it was an accident,” Sukuna managed out, “Would they...also deserve something bad to happen to them?”
What he wanted to ask was if something bad would happen to him for what he did.
He had just wanted to trip the noble like how Yuuji had tripped. But now the noble was dead.
And that blood was on his hands.
Murder.
But now his hands trembled and he couldn’t look down at them anymore because he felt like something horrible had clawed onto them. The lifeless gaze pressing into him with a look of shock and he swore the dead stared with accusations now.
Yuuji looked at Sukuna, confused and so hesitant before he reached over to put both his hands on top of Sukuna’s trembling ones, “No one deserves bad things, Ryomen,” Yuuji said softly, “Especially if it was an accident right? Buddha says that no matter what wrong is done, we always respond in kindess, right?”
“If I ever did...something really bad, would you forgive me?” Sukuna whispered, all four eyes open now as he looked up at Yuuji, almost pleading.
Yuuji blinked, unsure of what had caused so much distress in his friend, not even considering the foggiest notion of what crime had been committed. His grip on Sukuna’s hands tightened and he offered a small smile, “I would,” he said, “Because I know you and that you don’t want to do bad like that and everyone is allowed their life and everyone can do better,”
Tears were in Sukuna’s eyes and he choked out a soft sound. Yuuji never hesitated though. He pulled Sukuna into a tight hug, not knowing why his friend was so upset, but wanting to do everything he could to calm him.
Four arms wrapped about Yuuji and Sukuna clung to him tight, “Then forgive me, Yuuji,” Sukuna whispered, “I did something bad,”
“It doesn’t matter, whatever it is,” Yuuji said firmly, “You are my friend. You always will be and I forgive you,”
Yuuji paused, maybe blushing a tad, as any young pre-teen would, “I’ll always like you. We have a dream together right? And even if you bad today, tomorrow, tomorrow you can always do better. Even if takes until another life, I know you can do it,”
Yuuji sat back, smiling as he ever did, “See? I can wear a smile today, even if it was hard yesterday, because today is a new start,”
Sukuna looked at him, giving a small nod, “Even if it is really bad?”
“Everyone can do better, Ryomen,” Yuuji said with a smile, wincing as he rose to his feet, still holding Sukuna’s hands, “So how about you and me do better for the rest of today?”
Sukuna stared at him before giving a smile, slowly rising up to his own feet, “Okay,” was all he could manage.
The day passed in a daze. Yuuji chatted away as he tended to their usual chores and Sukuna mutely listened. The monastery had fallen quiet now, almost eerily silent. Sukuna tensed each time they past the older monks, expecting them to seize him and toss him out for what he had done.
But no punishment came. The monks chatted in hush tones about the tragedy today. Others grumbled that it was karma. As all things, it was spoken of and mused over, but slowly already on its way out the door, the silent crime creeping away from all memories save that of the unrecognized murderer who swept with one hand, the other gripped tight about Yuuji’s hand.
It was the only thing that kept Sukuna from admitting to what had happened.
And as the day went, he convinced himself, over and over again, that the noble’s death was not his fault. All Sukuna had done was trip him. The karma of the universe had caused him to fall in such a way he had died.
He hadn’t killed anyone. He couldn’t have. He was going to be a great monk and sorcerer. It was just an accident.
That was all that happened.
“Think we can train tomorrow?” Yuuji asked from where they sat out in the waving fields of grass, overlooking the valley below the monastery.
The two had abandoned their chores to sneak out, although it did not seem like any monk was keen on such actions with all that had happened. No one even bothered to glance their way as they went out to the fields.
“Maybe,” Sukuna said softly.
Yuuji smiled, stretching out before hopping to his feet, giving a smile through gritted teeth, “Good! Because I feel good today! Right as rain! Ready for anything!”
“One slap to your back and you’ll be falling over like a house of straw,” Sukuna drawled, falling easily into their usual banter as he buried his crimes away under his own convictions.
“No I won’t! I’ve grown tougher! Wiser! Not going to trip on my feet ever again!” Yuuji protested, turning on his heels and taking a few little jabbing punches at an invisible enemy, “I’m already nearly healed!”
“Your smile looks like you are grinding your teeth to not yelp in pain,” Sukuna murmured.
“I’m fine!” Yuuji said, wincing some as the pose he struck caused the welts to sting, “So completely fine!”
Sukuna smiled, watching Yuuji flit about like he wasn’t wincing and staggering the whole time, trying to smile through the pain of his bruises like it was nothing. Because Yuuji always came back like nothing happened and he could keep going no matter what.
Yuuji was always so strong like that. His world could end today and tomorrow he would build a new one.
Again, Sukuna found himself envious of how carefree Yuuji could live his life.
But if Yuuji could be fine, then so could Sukuna, because it was Yuuji who had said he was forgiven.
Sukuna raised his hands, almost without thought then, bring his pointer fingers together like a roof and lifting it up so Yuuji’s form was below the roof of those fingers. The other fingers on Sukuna’s fingers folded, almost like it was a natural thing, an innate thing to do.
He shifted those fingers so Yuuji was in the center of that shrine made of his hands like an altar statue, just as divine in Sukuna’s eyes. For if Yuuji forgave him, then he could be at peace with what happened.
Because Yuuji forgave him and still wanted him close and they were still friends and that was the most important principle in Sukuna’s small world
If the Buddha condemned him for this mistake or some vengeful karma felt it right to punish him, it wouldn’t matter because Yuuji forgave him.
Sukuna smiled through the shrine of his fingers, feeling like they fell together so naturally like that and watched Yuuji move about, free of all worries as carefree about the world as always. He would have to remember this gesture, that was the one thought that made its way through Sukuna’s thoughts as he lowered his hand.
Something about it felt right, like something powerful was just below his fingertips, waiting for him to call upon it. Something that would be ready to give him strength when needed the most. The gesture made his hand feel warm and itchy again which caused Sukuna to sigh, letting his hands fall apart, leaning back to watch Yuuji’s antics, a hesitant smile finding its way to his lips.
He would do better tomorrow and make sure to never commit such sins again. He would do better, just like Yuuji would want him too.
Notes:
It makes my heart hurt sometimes to write this fic. I need to go write a chapter of Yuuji Files to cope...
I hope you enjoyed the chapter and are preparing for the angst train that is about to toot toot into the station like a bullet train!
Chapter 4: Childhood Burning
Notes:
And now things are going to get into angst territory starting now ; w ; a rather intense chapter.
WARNING FOR GORE IN THIS CHAPTER!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When winter came at last upon the land, the nights grew quiet. The near constant hum of summer insects vanished with a fading whisper and the quiet birdsong had swept away with the winds to the south leaving a vacant silence behind. The frost had come with its usual creeping fury as its touch shriveled away the last gasps of autumn.
There was only the cold moan of the wind and the soft breathing left.
Yuuji stared up at the rafters of the drafty room he had shared with Sukuna for so long. He was bundled up tight in layers of upon layer of blankets. Only his face peered out from the cocoon swath of blankets but still he felt cold. He could feel the twinge of cold nipping at his nose as he laid there, unable to sleep as the silence felt too heavy that night.
Even though he could Sukuna’s soft breathing nearby, the darkness felt like it had strangled all other noise, leaving only that ringing of oppressive silence.
The young boy of now thirteen years could only squirm more, unable to quiet his own mind as the night dragged on, filling in the silence with the conversations of his own musings. Yuuji swallowed, glancing over towards where Sukuna lay before he rolled over to face him fully.
“Ryomen,are you still awake? “Yuuji whispered.
“No,” was the groggy response.
Yuuji wince, realizing he had probably woken Sukuna up with his ceaseless shifting about and quiet sighs. He shifted again a touch before he spoke up again with a glance away, “Sorry,”
“S’fine,” Sukuna murmured, “just go to sleep already,”
“I can’t,” Yuuji murmured, “Can’t stop thinking about stuff, you know?”
“And, as always, you make that my problem,” Sukuna sighed. Reluctantly, the other boy rolled over to look at Yuuji with the bottom two eyes cracked open half-way, the top two still closed, “Just do that trick Master Baso suggested and count chickens backwards from one hundred,”
Yuuji let out a loud sigh, “I tried! I lost count at eighty and had to keep restarting!”
Sukuna rolled back onto his back, closing all four eyes now, “That’s the point?” he said as he tried to muffle a yawn, “You are trying to distract your mind,”
“I know, just, a lot happened today,” Yuuji murmured.
“Like what?” Sukuna grumbled, knowing he would not get any sleep until he indulged whatever thought was running laps around Yuuji’s head.
Yuuji wiggled about in his bundle of blankets as he stared up at the rafters. He worried his bottom lip for a moment before rolling over to face Sukuna again.
“Did you feel kind of funny when that courtesan came to the shrine to pray today?” Yuuji asked quietly.
Sukuna gave a frown, cracking open two eyes to look at Yuuji, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” Yuuji murmured, flushing some, “I mean, her kimono was lose up front and her, you know, they looked like they were going to fall out,”
The young monk made grasping hands at his chest some, as if he was in possession of a large pair of breasts, “And the kimono really clung to stuff, you know? Just made me feel warm,”
Sukuna rolled onto his back now to regard the rafters with a frown, feeling a bit of pink creep into his own cheeks, “Yeah. I think I felt that too. They were ...really big,”
The two of them had stared at the woman as she threw herself on the shrine, blubbering and praying that her lord would show her more favor and that the other courtesans would be more kind to her. From what little Sukuna could guess, she was new to some court and had not yet found her standings. Some sort of court politics neither boy cared about or really understood at all.
What Sukuna and Yuuji had cared about was oggling the woman from where they knelt for morning prayers, both of them fumbling through as they held their breaths. Both of them probably were having more prayers that her kimono had slipped and they might have gotten a peak at pale skin and heaving breasts that weren’t just hearsay talk of traders and nude idols.
Such interests were starting to blossom more in the both of them, be it snickering to each other as they cleaned idols with bared breasts, or making comment about the size of the package on another one. It was what master Bayo called the troublesome spirit of young men and that it had at last come for the two boys as they faced the onset of puberty.
The two of them had been sat down for that awkward lecture about the changes they were about to go through and the temptations and curiosities that came with it. To be a monk though was to ignore such things and focus on their duties, training, and prayers until the fire of youth had quelled itself upon their ascent to manhood.
However, Yuuji and Sukuna were quiet certain it was hard to focus on any of that when temptation came dramatically flouncing into the shrine, breasts bouncing and blubbering to be cast upon the shrine belly down and rear up like a female dog.
“Do you think women are pretty Sukuna?” Yuuji asked in a conspiratorial whisper.
“I guess?” Sukuna murmured, shifting some, “They look nice enough,”
Yuuji gave a nod, “Yeah. The big, you knows...and the rear….” he was flushing all the more, “But, sometimes men also look pretty too,”
That had Sukuna going beat red, “I guess so?” he said again, fidgeting a bit, staring harder at the ceiling, “Why? Do you… like both?”
“I mean, if people are pretty, does it matter if they are a guy or girl?” Yuuji asked, brow furrowed in concentration.
Sukuna gave a slight shrug, “Maybe just people are pretty and you can like both,” He agreed, closing his eyes, “But that’s keeping you up?”
“A little yeah,” Yuuji murmured, “If I was still in my village, I probably would be giving cute girls or boys flowers and reading them poetry and nice things like that,”
Sukuna blinked, turning his head to regard Yuuji, “Why?”
Yuuji rolled onto his side some to fix Sukuna with a serious look, “Because then they might give you a kiss,” he said, voice hushed.
Sukuna blinked, “Like, a kiss on the cheek or hand?”
Yuuji shook his head, his expression still terribly serious, “No, on the lips,” he said in a low whisper, “I once saw two people kissing like that behind the monastery. It was two servants of some visiting merchant,”
Sukuna’s eyes widened a touch, “Like, how much were they kissing on the lips?”
“Very heated, like they were trying to eat each other’s tongues,” Yuuji said back, eyes wide and round, his cheeks bright red, “And they were holding each other so close!”
Yuuji moved to wrap his own arms about himself, pressing his face to one arm, batting eyes at Sukuna, “It was all like this when they were kissing, making weird noises and pressing close,”
Sukuna was staring at Yuuji, wide-eyed at the description, feeling that peculiar heat again as he imagined that. He swallowed some, “That sounds...I don’t know,” he admitted.
“They seemed to really enjoy it,” Yuuji murmured, “I bet the master monks would have been rather upset they were doing that though, but it looked nice,”
After a moment, Yuuji sat up, looking at Sukuna seriously, “Would you kiss me like that?”
“What!?” Sukuna squawked, eyes widening as he stared at Yuuji.
The other young monk’s cheeks were flushed as he looked away, but as always, Yuuji carried on with his usual confidence, as if he hadn’t suggested something so audacious, “If we are going to live a really sin-free life, then we have to get these thoughts out of our head, so maybe if we kiss, we just get it out of our system!”
Sukuna stared at Yuuji, beat red as he sat up, “That is a stupid idea! What if it backfires and we end up...”
Sukuna trailed off, looking away with a scowl, “What if we like it too much and want to do it again?”
“I guess that could happen,” Yuuji murmured, looking down at his lap as he fidgeted, “I guess I just want to try it at least once, you know?”
“It is just a passing thing,” Sukuna retorted, staring hard at the floor, “Just ignore it and go to sleep already!”
He flopped back and turned away from Yuuji, doing his best to close his eyes and not think about everything. He didn’t want to think about the courtesan anymore and how that made him feel and he certainly didn’t want to imagine kissing Yuuji in the way that the two secret lovers were described as doing.
It was just youthful energy that came with the transition from boy to man, just as master Baso said.
It would pass eventually.
The silence passed and once more Sukuna found himself starting to drift off.
“Hey, Ryomen?”
Sukuna gave a groan, “This better be good or I’m kicking you outside,”
Yuuji hesitated a moment before he spoke up, his voice soft, “Do you smell smoke?”
The question had Sukuna’s brow furrowing and he opened his top eyes, taking a small sniff of the air. The faint smell of smoke was in the air. Not something entirely odd in the area as the farmers were known to burn fields in the early morning down over the ridge and there was more a smoke smell about the temples after prayers and cooking.
The smell of smoke so late at night in the depths of winter where no farmer would be in fields and no one in the temple would be awake was not normal.
Sukuna and Yuuji lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Both of them could smell that faint invading scent that tickled something inside them, like two rabbits sensing something was wrong.
Yuuji’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the ceiling, tensing just a touch, “Is it close to dawn?”
“I don’t think so,” Sukuna said softly.
Yuuji worried his lower lip again as he sat up, still staring hard at he ceiling, “Then why is there light?”
Sukuna and Yuuji stared as a steady, faint, but creeping light was starting to flicker through the high windows of their room. As that light grew, so too did the smell of smoke grow stronger, as if it was circling slowly and menacing about their heads.
Yuuji could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle as he looked to Sukuna, eyes wide, “What is it?”
“Don’t know,” Sukuna frowned before he quickly slid out of bed to change into his thicker robes, “But I’m going to go see what it is,”
Yuuji blinked before he was scrambling up as well to get into his thicker monk robes, tying them up with practice eased before moving to pull on his shoes, “I’m coming too!”
Sukuna gave a nod as he pulled his second arms in close to him before moving to slowly crack ope nthe door to their room. Yuuji shuffled out behind Sukuna, his hands curled aganst the back of Sukuna’s robes, “What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know,” Sukuna whispered back as they shuffled away from the sleeping quarters and across the courtyard to where the glow of light was growing like the sun itself was about to start cresting over the forest below.
Neither boy knew what was going on, but something felt wrong. Both could feel the itch up and down their spine that bade them return. Yuuji’s breath was short and sharp and his pulse was jumping like a panicked sparrow in his chest. He gripped harder at the back of Sukuna’s robes as the shorter boy led the way forward, creeping along cautiously, as if aware of some danger growing just out of sight.
The two carefully circled around the main temple building towards the front gate, eyes widening. A black plume of smoke was rising up, nearly invisible against the black of the sky. It was so thick and massive like a storm cloud and unlike anything the two boys had seen. Drawing closer to the gate, they were then aware of sounds that rose up from the valley below, thin and wailing and mixed with inhuman sounds that had the blood in their veins going cold.
Sukuna stopped, frozen in place as he got to the gate to peer out. Yuuji swallowed, “What is it Sukuna,” He asked, face hidden against Sukuna’s back and too afraid to look, “What is it?”
The shorter boy opened and closed his mouth but was unable to form words. His eyes were wide as he saw the source of the smoke below.
There was a small village tucked at the base of the mountain below the monastery. A poor little place, although the people who lived there were content enough with life. It has always looked like a picture from the steps of the monastery, serene and distant with the small specks of people moving along about their business.
Now it was on fire.
Black specks rushed about in the firelight like ants at the mercy of boots. Larger figures moved about them, inhuman and vicious.
Screams were rising up.
Yuuji peaked over Sukuna’s shoulder at last, his eyes widening before he was stepping back, tugging on Sukuna, “We have ...we have to wake everyone up,” he choked out, “They’re...they’re coming!”
The smoke was rising as the fire began to spread hungrily onto dry winter-choked trees and grass. At the bottom of the path to the monastery, those horrid figures were moving, clawing and climbing their way up and the feel of cursed energy was like a thrumming rush that had Sukuna shuddering.
“Ryomen!”
Yuuji’s voice snapped him out of his shock and he turned to stare at Yuuji before wordlessly he ran past him and made for the temple bell at the center of the monastery. Yuuji followed after him, wide-eyed, but seemed to understand the plan and he quickly moved to grab onto the robe that hung from the bell alongside Sukuna.
“Pull!”
The weight of the two young monks was enough to lurch the massive bell to movement as it started to toll loudly, waking up the whole of the monastery. What was usually a comforting sound that thrum in the morning to start the day, had become something grim as the night was ripped apart by fire, smoke, and the growing feel of dread rising up the mountain.
Within moments the courtyard was exploding with activity as tired and confused monks came out. There was confusion and alarm, murmurs all around as the fire and smoke were noticed more keenly. Master Kotarou was the first one to spring to action, his eyes narrowing as he felt the rapid approach of cursed energy and vile curses.
“All monks with experience in exocism to me!” He bellowed, eyes bright and blazing as he brought his hands up, “All those who cannot fight, to Master Dayu!”
Yuuji and Sukuna stood there, uncertain of where to go. They had trained for this, but their training was far from complete and they had never actually encountered a curse save a few small ones that could be easily batted around for practice. Yuuji clutched at the rope to the bell, looking wide-eyed at Sukuna as if to ask what to do.
Sukuna stared back before he jumped as a shriek echoed overhead and a peircing arrow set aflame went flying over the walls of the monastery to skitter into the courtyard. Sparks of fire lashed out, but did not take against the stone of the pathway and a few monks rushed out to pat it out quickly.
The doors to the monastery, usually left open to welcome anyone to the grounds, were slammed shut and locked tight.
“Quickly! Get the holy artifacts!” Master Dayu bellowed, “Out the back doors and up into the mountain caves as practiced! Hurry! We shall not let these bandits have any prize!”
The word bandits was not foreign to Yuuji and Sukuna. They had heard tell of the various bandits and rogue sorcerers that meandered across the country along the roads, pillaging rich towns and manors for loot and burning as they went. They were sadistic and ruthless, but desperate creatures who captured or bribed curses to help them in their wicked games.
That is what the stories had said.
But the stories were suppose to stay away, in far off places.
Not here.
Not in the cloistered bubble that was their home.
“Ryomen,” Yuuji whispered at last as the chaos of the courtyard grew with monks dashing all around them, none of them paying mind to two novices cowering near the bell, “I’m scared. I’m really scared,”
“Me too,” Sukuna whispered back as he reached out to grasp Yuuji’s hand, “But it will be okay. The masters can handle this,”
The smoke and fire were so close now and the shrill inhuman laughter that filled the air sent panic down their spines. Yuuji gripped tighter onto Sukuna’s hand. The smaller boy turned towards the gate where Master Kotarou and the other exorcist monks had gathered. Cursed techniques blazed to life in anticipation of what would come.
Master Baso had arrived by then, an army of scuttling puppets, these ones armed with more fearsome claws and teeth, waited for the command of their master to move.
There was anticipation think in the air as people moved all around them. Above, more flaming arrows streaked overhead, landing against buildings and into the gardens. Monks rushed with buckets of waters and blankets to smother what they could, yelling to companions as more spots of flames tried to erupt.
Yuuji held tight against Sukuna’s hand, trembling as he gave a tug, “We should get to Master Dayu,” he croaked out, “We can help-”
His words died as the front gate of the monastery all but burst open. Wood and stone sent flying as a huge behemoth of a curse broke through with a loud shrieking roar that gurgle deep in its bulbous throat. Its tongue was already lolling out with drool dripping over fangs that were pulled into a wide smile. The bulging eyes rolled like that of some fish as it looked onto the scene before it with untold glee.
Then it was roaring louder as the exorcists set upon it with spells and attacks. Master Baso’s puppets tore towards it, aiming for its hanging underbelly. The monstrous curse roared, charging forward and thrashing about. In its wake, smaller curses began to crawl in like common vermin to spoiled food.
Yuuji watched in horror as one of the monks was picked up by a curse that opened its mouth wide, flat teeth like that of a cow crunching down over the body until bones broke and a muffled scream escaped. Blood burst and splashed against the stone. All of it highlighted against fires that had caught the roofs of the buildings and started to spread across the guest hall.
Sukuna trembled clutching at Yuuji’s hand as he turned towards him, “We...we got to move,” He finally managed out, “We got to run!”
Yuuji nodded, breath heaving in his chest before starting to move. His legs felt heavy and the world felt sluggish and in slow motion. Where once there was silence, now there was too much noise.
The crunch of bone. The screams of terror before they were snuffed out so suddenly. Gurgling sounds of inhuman pleasure from the curses as they poured in, overwhelming the exorcists and chasing after easier prey.
They scampered forward to try and locate where master Dayu was before they both came to a halt as the remains of a dead body split in two dropped in front of them. Guts splayed out of the half of a person and across the stones, leaving a streaking trail. A curse dropped down after it, crooning and giggling. The two eyes on the side of the thing’s face flicked towards the two monks as they came to a halt. A wide smile exposed showing far too-human teeth.
“hungry, so hungry!” it purred out in a half moan, turning towards them, “So hun-”
A blast of energy ripped through the thing and it fell to the ground making Sukuna and Yuuji jump. Both turned to see a bloodied but furious Master Kotarou standing there, his cursed technique of energy dancing about his hands, “Get out of here, both of you!”
“But Master Kotarou-” Sukuna began to protest.
“Now is not the time for arguments! Run! Both of you!” He snapped turning as the massive curse from before crashed forward, the remains of more monks dangling from its jaw, “Remember your training and take care of each other! But run!”
The curse came rushing forward then, its massive hand stearing up rocks as Master Kotarou took a stance, eyes narrowed before he thrust his fists forward, sending energy in shockwaves to slam into it, slowing it down and sending it off course to crash against the bell in the courtyard.
Sukuna stood staring, shocked, trying to breath, trying to think as the fear sunk claws into him as he watched his beloved master tangled with the powerful curse. The two were dancing around each other like vicious beasts, blood and viscera flying as they collided again and again.
It was one thing to train to fight such things, but it was another to see such horrific things in action.
All it took was a mistep.
Master Kotarou had grown old after all and his days of being a powerful sorcerer had been creeping to its twilight. He winced as he landed heavily on his leg. The curse never slowed down a moment.
There was a final blast as the mouth of the thing closed over the monk. The back of the curse burst out as its teeth crunched into bone and organs in a horrific splatter of blood across the ground.
Sukuna stood there staring and a numbness hit him. Everything seemed to fade away save the two legs from below the knees fall to the ground where once stood his master.
His savior.
His father.
He was only half aware of a hand gripping his own, tugging hard and starting to pull him around. Sluggishly Sukuna turned away from the ruined remains of his master and towards Yuuji, seeing his friend, but it was like seeing someone from a distance.
He could see Yuuji looking back at him, fear in his expression and the horror, but something else was there. A glimmer of something unbreaking and unyielding that would not stand still while all the world they knew was burned and ripped apart around them.
Through the ringing trauma of Sukuna’s mind, he could hear Yuuji, like a call from a distance that was forcing the world back into focus.
“We need to run! Just run!” Yuuji yelled above the screams of death and the roar of the fire.
Sukuna found his legs again, half stumbling, half dragged along by Yuuji, but he was moving again as the world began to speed up and the furry of the carnage around them began to rise to a feverish pitch as the fire began to consume everything.
The gardens were on fire and the halls of their home were blazing. As they passed by the dinning hall towards the back entrance of the temple, a scream echoed out and a body, wreathed in flames, came rushing out. The burning thing screamed as they threw themselves to the ground to try to put out the blaze and Yuuji stumbled, gasping at the sight and smell.
Sukuna pulled Yuuji hard to the other side and around the flailing, howling body.
All they could do was run.
The smoke was choking now and both monks raised an arm to try and cover their noses and mouths against the sting of it. Fire was heated about them, the hungry flames looking for anything to latch onto and burn. What wasn’t on fire though was at the mercy of curses as they picked off any stragglers, raising monks to their mouths to feast eagerly on the screaming holy men, relishing in their blood without any care but the macabre pleasure upon their tongue and the acute terror and suffering.
If there were any rogue bandit sorcerers that commanded them, they were more than content to let the curses have their spoils of flesh.
Claws came down, catching up monks like mice and Yuuji tried to ignore it, keeping his gaze ahead towards the back gate of the temple wreathed in flames. His hand was tight in Sukuna’s grip, not about to let go.
They had to run. Just run. Just like Master Kotarou had told them.
He just had to take care of Sukuna, like he promised and vice versa.
The roar of a curse had Sukuna looking back as a massive, spider-like thing rampaged towards them, two slavering mouths open wide with waggling tongues and a huge hand reaching for them, eager for such easy morsels.
They could run fast, but the thing was impossibly faster.
It was a reaction that had Sukuna lifting up his two left arms then, letting the second one slide out as he raised the fingers up and lashed out with a choked scream of his own. The curse lurched back, withdrawing its hands that were now peppered with bleeding cuts. It was not enough to kill the damn thing, not even strong enough to do more than make the curse pause to regard its sudden injuries.
It was just enough time for the two boys to dash through the blazing exit of the gardens and into the fields beyond, feeling the heat of fire as it finally closed in around them as the gate collapsed at their heels.
Neither of them looked back then as they ran forward through familiar dry fields of grass that were beginning to smoke as embers flew off the engulfed monastery. Even with the frost covering everything, the fire was too strong to be slowed down for long by such touches of winter’s cold grip. Even the forest beyond, dark and foreboding, looked frail as the fire was carried towards it by the howling wind.
Yuuji was panting hard. His lungs were burning and his legs ached but terror and adrenaline pushed him forward to keep going until there was some sense of safety. Sukuna clung on, his eyes fixed on Yuuji’s back, tears burning at the corner of his eyes as he refused to let go as they ran into the darkness of the night.
Because Yuuji was safety.
Yuuji had to always be safety.
And for Yuuji, all he wanted to do was protect his only friend with all that he could.
Because he had made a promise.
“The river,” Yuuji managed out, looking to Sukuna as they reached the end of the fields and into the rockier terrain that descended downwards into a sudden valley where a single river snaked its way through between the mountains.
Sukuna nodded mutely, gripping onto Yuuji’s hand as they slid and tripped along the rocks, half falling in place as gravel gave out below panicked feet. The fields were being engulfed now as well. The forest was burning.
Everything that was their home was burning away.
They landed in the splash of water, a cold shock in the winter, but adrenaline carried them forward, splashing along it as they headed away as best they could in soggy robes. Above on the high cliffs, the fire popped and snarled but was unable to jump down along bare rock to snap at them and carry its burning fury further in their direction. The two young monks ran until the river widened some, descending in trickles down more ridges, away from the monastery.
Yuuji and Sukuna ran like frightened animals with death all around and no understanding of what to do but to find safety.
They ran until their cold, frigid limbs couldn’t carry them any further and they dragged themselves out of the cold of the river, shivering and spent. There was no light here, so far from the conflagration of their home. The deeper shadows beckoned to them soothingly of safety. They found their sanctuary under a hanging rock that created a shelter against the wind and away from any eyes.
Yuuji wrapped both his arms tight about Sukuna as soon as they were tight in their small shelter. Four arms pulled Yuuji in close as they sat huddled together, too scared to make any noise. Yuuji was so afraid, he almost wished to hold his breath in case something would hear hit or his raging heartbeat.
The smoke was rising in black billows of pungent death. The light of fire burned like an open wound on the mountainside above them. There were no screams this far away, but Yuuji still imagined he could hear them.
He could smell what a body’s innards were like mixed with the stench of blood and humiliation.
Yuuji gagged some, panting as he clutched tighter onto Sukuna.
They clung to each other like trembling rabbits in that little bit of perceived safety as the night marched on.
Neither of them slept. The fear was too intense for rest and the cold of wet clothes in winter grip too much to ignore. They sat and shivered together as time passed slowly.
When the pale sun rose weakly to cast its dim light on the world, neither of them moved, as if even in the light of day, there was no sense of safety that remained. The smell of smoke remained in the air like a reminder of the nightmare that had transpired. The smell though was interrupted more by the smell of wet clothes and the must of their small shelter. There was uncertainty as well as hunger started to make itself known with a slow gnaw to both their stomachs and they knew they would have to move eventually.
Yuuji shifted first, daring to peak out, followed slowly by Sukuna.
“What do we do?” Yuuji croaked out as he glanced about their unfamiliar surroundings.
“I don’t know,” Sukuna swallowed hard, closing all four eyes for a moment.
Sukuna was trying to remain calm at having everything that was familiar yanked away once more. Slowly he moved past Yuuji, feet touching down onto the gravel ground below the rock and he looked around like a wary animal, his posture taunt, “We...we should find some food probably. Make a fire. Try to keep warm,”
“Should we go back?” Yuuji asked in a near whisper, “What if there are survivors?”
Sukuna turned towards Yuuji, conflicting emotions behind his eyes. The fire would have consumed many and what would have fled, the curses would have-
“Maybe,” Sukuna forced out before looking upwards to the now towering cliffs, “How would we get back from here?”
Yuuji followed Sukuna’s gaze as he shuffled up alongside of him, squinting at those towering cliffs, “Maybe...maybe we just follow the river back up the way we came along the bank and try to find a spot that isn’t so steep?”
“What if there are curses?” the question slipped from Sukuna’s lips with a slight tremble.
Yuuji swallowed, hesitating before he fixed Sukuna with a smile, moving to grip onto his hand tightly, “Then we will take care of them this time,” he said in as brave a voice as he could, “They...they got the drop on us last time but...but we can handle anything. Especially you!”
Sukuna had to bite his tongue about how his technique had barely made a cut into the damned thing that tried to eat them. Just a few bloody slices that hadn’t managed to go beyond an inch deep. What good would that be against a curse? What good would Yuuji even be against something like that?
It had Sukuna clenching his teeth, feeling utterly helpless as they stood there.
“I’ll handle it,” He said, even if the words sounded like a hollow promise to him.
They began the slow trudge back up the river although neither knew how far they had actually run or from where they had come. Once familiar landscapes became more foreboding and twisted around them. Forests that had one time been an escape and place of curiosity now loomed large like vicious beasts waiting to swallow them up into the depths of the earth. Yuuji could imagine eyes on them of some hungry beast from one of the many stories whispered among the monks and it just made him edge closer to Sukuna, clutching his hand a little tighter.
Neither of them spoke, for really neither had anything to say. The conversations of yesterday seemed pointless and foreign now, chased away by that gnawing uncertainty of their situation that was falling upon their shoulders.
There were questions both wanted to ask though that buzzed in their minds.
It was Yuuji who broke the silence first as he looked up at the ridges that never seemed to relent or grow softer, “What...what happens if we can’t find our way back?”
Sukuna swallowed, “We’ll just do what we were taught. Forage. Stuff like that,” he managed out although there was a tremble in his voice, “We don’t have to be helpless,”
Yuuji nodded, “Yeah,” he took in a breath, “Maybe can find a village and stuff,”
“Maybe,”
Because everything now was maybe.
The sun had reached its height, the intense winter light almost painfully bright as they finally came to the point where the tall ridges relented and began to bow their heads down into gentler slopes. The smell of smoke was more pungent here and there were signs of fire having once licked against the place with burn patches of weeds and blackened skeletons of trees.
Yuuji looked to Sukuna, “Maybe up there?”
“Maybe,” Sukuna said again, hating how many times he had to repeat that wretched word, “At least we could get a better view,”
A better view of what, he wasn’t sure. With how the fire had been, there would probably be nothing to see but a smoldering wreck.
It took longer than either thought to climb the slopes. They slipped and scrambled against lose rock and mud and they reached the top, tired, hungry, dirty and cold. Yuuji’s teeth chattered some as he flopped out on his stomach in the crisped remains of scorched grass.
Sukuna stayed on his feet, looking around with caution, only to see nothing but a charred meadow and a half burned forest.
“Maybe we can find some food,” Yuuji murmured from where he lay.
“At least something,” Sukuna agreed, wrapping all four arms about himself, “Find food, maybe a place to try and build a fire to get warm. Try and find the monastery tomorrow,”
Because what else was there to do?
They scavenged like rats for whatever wayward nut could be found that had not been chewed opened this late in winter. The fire they built was a small thing that flickered so weakly as they struggled to keep it going as the cold of evening fell. The wind picked up, biting at already chilled bodies and fingers that were not tucked close against the body under robes. They spent a night shivering in the mountains and with the light of dawn they shuffled off again with a slow weakness starting to sink into as stomachs remained painfully empty.
The fire had made what was once familiar something strange. The whole of the landscape had changed and the old guideposts through the forest, a twisted tree bent over like a kneeling monk or vines upon a rock that made it look vaguely like master Baso were all gone.
Their stomachs gnawed ceaselessly. The cold gripped at them. Sore feet ached as they forced themselves to walk forward in what they could only hope was the right direction.
It was another night on the mountain before the blackened walls of the monastery finally rose up. Sukuna and Yuuji stopped to stare at it as the sight of the burnt out husk of their home brought reality crashing down all the more around them.
There was barely anything left of their home. The larger structures stood skeletonized against the blue sky of the day. The main temple had been gutted out and the holy icons broken and ransacked.
Everything living had been snuffed out.
All that was left were the bodies.
Yuuji stood beside Sukuna and was glad his stomach was so empty for how it heaved a the smell of decay rising up heavy in the air. The bodies lay unattended and rotting, some of them burned into blackened husks like shriveled raisin in the sun. Others were in pieces. The only things that moved were the scavengers that had come out to enjoy the feast and writhed under the skin and picked at the flesh.
Sukuna swallowed thickly before he tugged Yuuji forward, “Maybe something in the storehouse survived that we can eat, “he choked out.
Yuuji nodded mutely, trying not to look at the faces of dead monks as they moved along. Those he did, he always knew. He could remember them. Master Sato who had always laughed and talked at length about the various birds and claimed he had named each little feathered visitor. Tako, barely a few years older than Yuuji who had acted like he was wise beyond his years as he spoke through a persistent stuttered. Kakoi in all his portly glory, always set to making breakfast, lunch, and dinner and chasing Yuuji away with a waggle of a spoon.
All of them lay on their backs, faces twisted in horror in those final moments, skin starting to drag off flesh and bones, with the insects starting to chew their way through the unanticipated bounty. Yuuji closed his eyes, trembling as tears squeezed out and he clutched Sukuna’s hand in both of his.
“We should do something,” he managed out.
“Do what?” Sukuna murmured, glancing over at Yuuji.
“We can’t just...leave them out like this,” Yuuji choked out, “Their spirits just left here...it would make this place become cursed,”
Yuuji shook his head emphatically, his grip tightening, “This place can’t become cursed for us Ryomen. Not like this. Not like this,”
Sukuna swallowed hard, looking about the place that had been their home and once filled with nothing but pleasant memories of life. They had both grown up here for most of their lives but now it felt they stood in a graveyard. He took in a breath, giving a nod, “Yeah, all right. We’ll do… we’ll do something,”
They found their way to the storehouse and there was a glimmer of hope to find some rice that had been untouched. Yuuji sighed even as his stomach gave a loud grumble at the thought of food.
“It is enough to last a few days,” He said softly, “And maybe fore a short trip if we really watch it,”
“It will have to do,” Sukuna murmured, I’ll go get some water for us to boil to make it,”
Yuuji nodded, shuffling closer to the fire to warm his frost-bitten fingers, “Okay,”
Sukuna slipped out, all four hands tucked under his armpits as he walked to the remains of the well, keeping his gaze fixed on it and ignoring the limbs and bodies that lay strewn about. He lifted two hands to breath some warm air into them, rubbing them before he wrapped his aching, cold fingers about the rope of the well.
He grunted as he did the hard work of pulling up the pail of water, having to bring his other two hands out to help as it was heavier than he remembered. Sukuna put one foot against the side of the well to give a harder heave and slowly the pail came into sight, and on it, a bloated body was sprawled. Sukuna stared in horror at the swollen corpse with its tongue lolling out from where it had fallen into the water, half charred. Sukuna felt a scream catch in his throat as he stared at the dead man’s face. The eyes were pale orbs by then and the decay had given it a green, molted look. Sukuna let go of the rope, letting it splash back into the water.
He stood there, taking in a wheezing breath before he hurried back to where Yuuji had stoked the fire enough to warm his hands. He glanced up expectantly, although a touch confused when Sukuna arrived empty handed, “Where’s the water?”
“There isn’t any,” Sukuna said with a stammer, “The well is poisoned. Something...someone...fell in it. Died,”
Yuuji looked to the rice they had and swallowed hard as he wrapped his arms about his knees, “Then I guess we can get some from the river later,” he murmured.
Sukuna sat beside Yuuji, staring at the flame silently. Yuuji shifted, able to tell the distress in Sukuna’s posture and he reached out, touching one of his hands, “We will need to find some containers to put people’s ashes in so we can give them a proper burial,” he said quietly.
Sukuna flicked his gaze to Yuuji, “That is a lot of bodies,” he said faintly, “So many are dead,”
He closed all four eyes tight as he saw his own master become a casualty of the thing. A tremor ran through Sukuna as grief started to gnaw at his chest as the need for survival started to lessen.
“We should do it before the bodies rot too much,” Yuuji said softly as he looked to the fire, “Rotted things fall apart easy,”
Sukuna felt the bile in the back of his throat, closing his eyes tight, “Yuuji,” he whispered, “Is that what we will be like when we die?”
Yuuji blinked, looking to Sukuna before he shook his head, pulling the hand he held into his lap, “No. When we die, it will be surrounded by friends,” he said softly, “We’ll have a peaceful death, the both of us. No regrets,”
Sukuna looked over at him, “How can you be sure of that?” he choked out, tears filling his eyes.
Yuuji shook his head, gripping Sukuna’s hand tighter, “Because...because I know so. I just do! I won’t let things happen this way again,”
He took a deep breath before he rose to his feet, pulling Sukuna up with him, “Come on. Let’s take care of everyone,”
It was hard, disgusting work. Yuuji and Sukuna had pulled clothes up over their mouths and noses as they set about dragging the bodies out to the main courtyard, lining them up before the temple. The idol that had been smashed had been pushed up on its pedestal, the half smiling face of the Buddha staring down on the two young monks as they did what they could.
There was not much left to burn for a pyre but they found enough for a modest blaze. They did their best to try and burn each body to ash and then pick out the remains to put into whatever containers they could find. With a piece of charcoal, Yuuji carefully scribbled out the name of each monk as their remains were conferred to their final resting place. At least those that they could tell who it was. So much of what they burned was just errant limbs, fingers and bloody legs.
A few were only staring heads.
By the end, there were thirty urns set aside. Thirty one when Sukuna had gotten the courage to haul the one body out of the well.
That body had not burned easily, water-logged as it was. It billowed with smoke and hissing pops and the whole time Sukuna had sat with his back to it, unable to look until it was finally turned to ash and they had to scoop the remains into a small cracked pot.
The darkness had fallen over the monastery as they set the last urn up upon the steps of the inner temple before what they could fix of the main idol. The only works they spoke were the murmured funeral prayers they had learned but had yet to say until this day.
They barely made a meal for themselves of a few root vegetables scavenged in the damp parts of the basement away from the flame but too tired to fetch water to make something even a little bit more filling. They were soon fast asleep, although the stench of smoke, rot, and blood lingered around them.
The next morning, Sukuna and Yuuji picked their way through the rest of the ruins, scavenging anything that could be of use. Extra clothing was packed into a pair of leather bags that had only been light scorched. They traded out their robes for heavier, larger ones that they tied in tight against their thin frames, bundling up as much as they could. A pair of straw hats that had blown away from the flames to be caught against a garden wall were put to use along with a few chared canes, one of which had belonged to master Baso.
“I didn’t see Master Dayu among the dead,” Yuuji said as they picked through the dormitories.
Sukuna swallowed, remembering the curse eating monks whole and closed his eyes, “They could have survive and gone somewhere,”
“Another monastery maybe,” Yuuji said, pausing in the doorway of what was once their room before entering cautiously to pick through the ashes.
“Or the city,” Sukuna looked out over the barren monastery, “Maybe in the city we can join the temple there. Probably more food there than what we could forage for,”
“Yeah,” Yuuji paused before he pulled a familiar plush from the ash, smiling some, “Oh look at you Masato. All singed,”
The plush was charred in places, but had survived by some miracle. The eyes were dull, no longer bright, and the ash had turned it grey and whizzed. Still Yuuji clutched it close to his chest as he turned to Sukuna, “So we go to the city?”
“That seems best,” Sukuna murmured, looking to the rucksacks of supplies they had managed to find which amount to so very little, “Maybe we can find more stuff in the village,”
The two of them paused, feeling their stomach turn at what carnage they may pass when they descended to what was left of the village and farms in the valley below.
Yuuji moved to put Masato into his bag with a sigh before hefting up on his shoulder, “Then we should probably get going before it gets dark,”
Sukuna shifted some as he slipped his own backpack on, “Do you know which way to go to the city?”
“Nope!” Yuuji said with a small smile as he moved to grab Sukuna’s hand, “But eventually a road has to go somewhere, right? If we just follow the road, even if we get lost, we should find something,”
The smile faded a touch on Yuuji’s face as he looked around the monastery. He was quiet, taking in what was left of what was once their home. Sukuna gave a squeeze to his hand, threading their fingers together tightly, “We’ll find something. Something that will feel like home again,” Sukuna said quietly.
Yuuji blinked back tears as he turned to look at Sukuna and offered a wobbly smile, “As long as I have you, wherever we go, it will always be home. Just the two of us,”
“Just the two of us,” Sukuna agreed.
They both stood for one last moment before they turned and began the long climb down the broken stairs of the monastery and towards the village. The carnage had not spared the place and if anything, the devastation was worse.
The shell of homes were left behind and the bodies of victims displayed horrifically out in the streets like twisted trophies. Yuuji felt his stomach turn all over again and he stepped closer to Sukuna as flayed bodies lay rotting in the sunlight and heads were stuck upon posts, their tongues protruding out as decomposition swelled the tongues past the mouths.
There were more signs of feasting with splatters of blood against walls and limbs covering the street. Even the animals had not been spared with once lazy animals that Yuuji used to watch from the gate of the monastery, lolling cows and stout pigs, lay ripped apart.
Yuuji swallowed, looking to Sukuna, “We shouldn’t leave them like this,”
Sukuna’s jaw tightened, “We should keep moving though, before it gets dark,” He said quietly, “We can just bury everyone we find. We can’t linger long here or we could die,”
A stubborn look glinted in Yuuji’s eyes and he dug his heels in to stop, “We can’t leave them like this,” he said, “No one deserves to be left behind like this,”
Sukuna shifted a bit, looking at the carnage of the village, ‘It will take us a while though. We would probably have to sleep here tonight. In a dead village,” he whispered with a hint of fear.
“They used to bring us food. They were kind to everyone at the monastery,” Yuuji said softly, “This can be our final kindness to them,”
Sukuna wanted to argue that they should move on and get away from this place and find food. There was nothing they could really do for the dead at this point but bury them and that took time that they might not have the resources to give anymore.
But Yuuji was looking at him wide-eyed and he found the argument couldn’t work its way past his tongue.
“All right,” Sukuna murmured, “All right,”
And they began the same grim business they had done in the monastery once more. The bodies gathered in the center, although there was more to find to light a pyre. One by one, each body was cremated, the rites performed to offer the soul peace, and the ashes put into whatever containers they could find.
Unlike the monks though, the faces were unknown and more nameless.
Yuuji did his best, peering at each face and giving them little nicknames on their urns.
“He looks like he had a kind face, so I’ll call him the one who was kind,” Yuuji said about one victim.
“She looked like she probably liked to sing, so maybe call her a songbird?” he would say about another.
To each container they tried to give the person something, even if they couldn’t give them their name. Then all those containers were lined up in the little graveyard outside the village as the last rays of the sun faded.
Yuuji brought his hands together and bowed his head, knelt in front of the mishmash of pots and baskets they had used to put the dead to rest, “I’m sorry I couldn’t get all your names,” he whispered, “I hope I did enough,”
“You always do enough Yuuji,”Sukuna murmured from behind him, eyes closed as he bowed before those that had passed to offer final blessings.
“If we were maybe older and stronger, I bet we could have protected everyone,” Yuuji said quietly.
Sukuna opened his eyes, looking at how many containers were before them. Some of them so small because only a small part of a person could even be found. He let his hands fall to his knees and curl against them, “We’ll both become stronger, Yuuji. Strong enough no one can touch us,”
“And we can protect everyone and save as many as we can,” Yuuji added with a look of determination, “Even if it means I have to get hurt, as long as I can help someone, that is all that matters,”
Sukuna looked at him before looking away, “Why are you so selfless Yuuji? Aren’t you afraid of getting hurt or dying?”
Yuuji shook his head, slowly rising to his feet, “No,” he admitted, “I guess death wasn’t so scary to me. Maybe because I saw my grandfather die,”
He turned to Sukuna, holding out both hands with a small smile, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to live life as long as I can. Just that if I can help everyone else live a good life and die well, then why not?”
Sukuna sighed, taking Yuuji’s hands and allowing the other boy to pull him up, “I guess,” he paused, looking at Yuuji seriously, “But don’t think I won’t be at your side,”
Yuuji laughed, squeezing his hands, “That’s a given!”
They stood there a moment before they retreated back to the village, hunkering down in one of the less destroyed houses to stave off the cold of the night. They cuddled close to each other for warmth near a small fire and slowly dozed off as the night crawled on.
The morning brought with it grey clouds that hung heavy and a biting wind that seemed to sweep through every corner of the village’s corpse.
The two of them spent time scavenging up a few more supplies before they began to head out of the village and following the dingy dirty road that meandered through fields. Now and again they would see a farmhouse although it was always clear it had already been abandoned, either by the occupants fleeing or being killed. The two took what they could, slowly building up a modest supply of food.
As they finally reached the furthest reaches of the outskirts, they came upon what was once the manor of the lord of the land. The huge manor stood at the edge of the woodlands, just past where cultivated squares of farmland began to turn back into wild meadows and scrubland. The house was a large one, no doubt a more prosperous farmer in Yuuji’s mind, as it had more the build of what he imagined an estate would look like.
He wandered through the shell of it, imagining the wealth that might have been inside although little remained but ripped tapestries and the burnt furniture. Sukuna kept close, although he went to the well and peered down it, checking to see if the water was clear of any death before he started to tug up a bucket to fill up their scavenged waterskins.
As Yuuji turned a corner, he heard something move. He tensed up, eyes wide as he expected a curse or some lingering bandits.
Instead he heard the soft sound of a whimper from underneath one of the outer buildings. Slowly Yuuji got on his knees, peering under the building, eyes wide as he spotted two small black eyes looking back at him, “Ryomen! Ryomen come quickly!” Yuuji hissed.
Sukuna paused with a bucket of water in hand before he quickly set it down and moved over, “What is it?”
“It’s a puppy!”
Sukuna blinked, watching Yuuji shuffle closer on his hands and knees, making soft coo sounds, “Come here puppy! I’m not going to hurt you!”
Slowly Sukuna got down to look and he saw the small animal start to slowly crawl forward towards the two of them. It was a small puppy, still chubby and round with legs that barely could carry its body. A nub of a tail cautiously wagged as the small thing crept out of its hiding spot.
It was trembling, even as it stared at them and Sukuna let out a sigh, knowing then and there that the puppy would come with them. Yuuji’s eyes were so big with awe, already completely taken as he pet the puppy.
“Ryomen...”
“We are going to have to share food and water with it,” he said flatly.
“Ryomen, please?” Yuuji said, as he started to pet the puppy more, “It needs us!”
“Yuuji...”
“Ryomen,” the other boy returned with a whine in his voice, “We have to take him with us!”
The little puppy whined as it leaned into the pets Yuuji offered, sidling up closer to him for warmth. Sukuna looked at the little puppy and sighed as he looked away, “Fine,” he murmured.
“I’ll take care of it! You won’t even notice him around!” Yuuji said, moving to scoop the puppy up and cradle it in his arms as he followed after Sukuna, “You won’t have to do a thing,”
“You say that, but your messes always become my responsibilities,” Sukuna grumbled as he returned to the bucket of water.
Yuuji set the puppy down and moved to help Sukuna fill up their waterskins, “I’ll take care of it, okay? We can help him. At least it is something we can help,”
Sukuna glanced quietly over at Yuuji, noting the sad look in his face. He let out a sigh and leaned up against Yuuji, butting heads lightly, “You’ll be the best thing that ever happened to this puppy,” he murmured with a smile, “But you should probably think of a name,”
“I will!” Yuuji said, “But I’m always so bad at naming things,”
He sighed as he looked around before finding a lightly damaged basket. Carefully he lined it with some of the spare cloth they had found and set the puppy inside before hauling it on his back like a mother with an infant, “There we go! I’ll carry it in here until it is big enough to walk!”
“And still no name for it?” Sukuna drawled.
Yuuji flushed, “I will think of one on the long walk to wherever we are going!”
“Well, I’m calling it mutt,” Sukuna said with a shake of his head as he pulled his bag up onto his back, “We ready then?”
“ready!” Yuuji said with a wider smile.
They left the manor behind and with it, the last bit of the place they had grown up. The village and monastery were nearly out of sight as they reached the final rise of the road before it cut deeper into the mountains.
The two of them paused to look back. The weight of sadness clung to them even if they were both trying to push it aside. It would be easy to just sit down and cry for what was lost, but survival had driven a numbness to the situation into both of them.
Yuuji swallowed hard, turning away, "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." he quoted, closing his eyes, “That’s what master Baso would tell us. What the Buddha teaches,”
Sukuna nodded, “He would want us to keep going. Same with master Kotarou,”
The only thing that grounded either one as they took those steps away to leave everything behind was the feel of hands clasped together.
Yuuji smiled a bit, feeling a warmth of courage as two hands wrapped about his own as they walked forward.
In his mind, he let the old chants and wisdom given to them both sing.
“Hope is confidence. Hope is determination. Hope is courage. And faith is the ultimate expression of hope,” Yuuji murmured.
“And belief fortifies the heart,” Sukuna finished in a hushed tone.
He squeezed Sukuna’s hand tighter.
They did not know where they were going, but they were not going alone.
The valley of their home vanished behind mountains as the first flakes of snow began to fall from the sky and obscure the last views of their childhood behind a white haze.
Notes:
Give these beans hugs, they are cold and traumatized and they are going to need it...
Chapter 5: A New Path
Notes:
And another chapter of my sad fic... and starting to get into things!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The grip of winter was an endless thing. Its cold embrace swept away the comforts of life into shades of pale grey and white with a hint of a frigid blue that came with the onset of night. Even when the sun shown, the air was sharp and cold, like inhaling a thousand needles and gaining no reprieve. In the depths of winter, survival was a tricky thing. Food was scarce, warmth a distant memory of summer, and the dangerous grip of death that came creeping up like cold fingers into lungs, into the mind, and into the heart in the form of a sickly fever.
Winter had never felt so terrible in the monastery, but now, exposed to its full fury, Sukuna found himself loathing the whole of it entirely.
A blast of cold wind had Sukuna tugging the small blanket that had been fashioned into a makeshift cloak tighter about him as he tried to keep it tight over his face with one trembling hand. His fingers were numbed and cracked and his feet felt just as frigid and numb as he walked with some urgency through the streets of the town. All the doors and windows were closed against the blizzard and the few others who wandered the streets in such a storm, beggars and drunks, kept their own heads down as they sought out shelter from the squall.
For a moment Sukuna paused, a rasp that had been growing in his throat itching more urgently and he had to turn his head to let out a deep-throated wet cough. He pressed the cloth of the cloak over his mouth as he did, bending over some as his lungs heaved with each rasping escape of air. The coughing fit passed and Sukuna began to move again. His lower pair of arms were clutched tight about his middle, holding something in his hands to try and keep it warm as he rushed along to where he had left Yuuji.
His pace began to slow as he came across a makeshift tent propped op on the edge of town just behind the barn of a farmer in an effort to shield the structure from the worse of the wind. A smile crossed chapped lips as Sukuna dropped low, shuffling into the shelter shaking snow from himself.
Yuuji looked up from where he was trying to warm hands against a frail little fire, the rest of him bundled under ratty layers of clothes they had scavenged for on the long walk through the twisting mountains and into the valley they now were hunkering down in. The puppy laid curled up within Yuuji’s clothes, only the tail of it seen hanging out from the bottom.
“I found some food,” Sukuna said hoarsely, finally revealing the two dumplings he had stolen from a tavern at the far end of town.
Yuuji blinked before smiling brightly holding out his frostnipped fingers, cracked and reddened by the cold, “How did you even find these?”
I’ve got my ways,” Sukuna said as he moved closer to the fire, still shivering. Hunger though gnawed at his stomach and he spent little time in chewing his way through his own dumpling ravenously.
Yuuji didn’t ask any further questions as he tore into his own.
Their meals were not easy to come by now as what meager supplies of millet, barley, and root vegetables had started to run out days ago and there was little to scavenge from the land save for tree bark that could be boiled into a simple tea and a few nuts and tubers. Even as they came through small villages and now into a slightly larger town, food was so rare.
Or rather, it was kept out of reach as they had no money to spare and there was no charity to be found.
The only thing that kept any hope in their heart was the idea of the capitol city drawing closer. The city that they heard other passing travelers talk about and the villages speak wistfully of. It was the city, with its grand temples and estates, its vibrant inns and trade, where there would be food and shelter at last. There they could enter into the temple to report on the tragedy. Master Kotarou had a dear friend there who supposedly was the head monk so they both had high hopes there would be a place for them there to resume their training.
That was the only hope they had now in these cold lands.
“Maybe the weather will break tomorrow,” Yuuji said quietly as he slid his arms into his sleeves to cuddle them closer against the warmth of his body and the puppy hidden within.
“If we are lucky,” Sukuna said with a smile before he turned to cough hard into his arm.
Yuuji tensed at the sound, eyes round with worry, “It hasn’t gotten better?”
“Just a cough from the dry air,” Sukuna murmured, “I’ll be fine,”
“It has been a week though,” Yuuji said softly.
“I’ll just drink some more tea,” Sukuna said with a stubborn frown, “I’ll be fine,”
Because he had to be fine so he could keep finding food for them. No matter how bad his cough was getting or how today his body felt so cold, as if he couldn’t figure out how to warm himself. The chills had him shivering in that small shelter, even with the fire warming him and the various layers he had pulled about him.
He just felt so cold, even though he was sweating.
“I could go out next time,” Yuuji said softly, “Give you time to rest if the weather doesn’t break tomorrow,”
“It has to break tomorrow,” Sukuna hissed stubbornly, closing all four eyes, “We have to get to the city. If we get there, it will be okay,”
Yuuji shifted as he looked over at Sukuna, worry clear in his amber eyes, “Ryoumen,” he said softly, “You don’t have to push yourself to take care of me. I can help to,”
Sukuna looked over at Yuuji, giving a lop-sided smile, “This isn’t just stealing offerings off a shrine Yuuji,”
“I know,” Yuuji murmured, arms wrapping closer to himself and causing the puppy hidden away to squirm some with a whine as it wiggled its head out to lick at his face some, “I can steal if I have to, Ryoumen. I’m not stupid and I always had the faster hands when it comes to swiping,”
“And the bleeding heart that makes you falter,” Sukuna retorted, “Or don’t you remember the farmhouse?”
Yuuji gave a wince as he looked away. He hadn’t been able to swipe a few root vegetables out of the cellar of the farm when he had seen how thin the family looked as they toiled out to get firewood. He had lost his chance to get a few bits of food for him and Sukuna that day and hunger had gnawed hard and Sukuna had taken it upon himself to be the one to take food.
Sukuna always was the one who had more an eye towards survival than compassion, especially now when death sat with them.
Yuuji was painfully aware how their lives were balancing on the knife point where one wrong move, one more tragedy, or too many days without a meal would spell out their end. Survival was cruel to ideals, but Yuuji still clung to them with the hope that their suffering would be a temporary thing. But sitting there at that fire, watching Sukuna stare into the fire, eyes glassy with the illness and the gaunt, tired look to his face, he felt a twist of guilt.
The lack of substantial food, warmth, and shelter combined with needing to keep moving was catching up and Yuuji wondered if Sukuna’s small frame simply made him more susceptible to the worst of it.
It terrified Yuuji with every cough that escaped Sukuna that he would end up losing the last person important to him.
“When we get to the city, I’ll be the one to take care of us,” Yuuji said with a small huff as he shifted around to press up against Sukuna’s side to share the warmth, “You can take a break, got it?”
Sukuna gave a faint smile through cracked lips, sagging against Yuuji’s side, “Only if you promise not to give it all away to some starving pack of street urchins,” he murmured.
Yuuji flushed and looked away with a wince, “I won’t,” he responded softly as he ran a hand over the puppy now in his lap.
Sukuna rallied himself to sit up more with a smile and ruffled Yuuji’s hair as he swallowed down another coughing fit, “Besides, I’ll be fine by then, so you won’t have to worry about taking care of me,”
“I hope so,” Yuuji said with a small smile of his own as he leaned against Sukuna, “I hope so,”
There were small miracles in the world, that much Yuuji always believed. The following morning came with sunlight for the first time in a few days as the grip of constant squalls and snow relented. The people of the village began to emerge to set about their business, some with brooms in hand to sweet snow off doorsteps to welcome in patrons or for stall keepers to clear out their space to sell their wares in the biting cold of morning.
For Yuuji and Sukuna, it meant that they could finally put this town behind them and keep the course towards the city where the emperor himself took court. They were so close now and that hope was what had both young monks crawling out of their tent and trudging through deep snow to get back on the road proper.
Bundled up as best they could, bags lighter from the scant few supplies they could scavenge or pinch when eyes were turned, they began the trek along the road silently save for the increasing rasp of Sukuna’s cough.
The road seemed endless to Yuuji, like a snake with no head that twisted forever forward and marked only by the footprints and wheel marks of those that set out earlier that morning marking the way. He wrapped his arms about him, watching the little puppy scamper ahead of them with an eager lifto f the tail.
“I bet the monastery in the city will be so warm and big,” Yuuji said with a wistful sigh, arms curled around himself as he walked along.
Sukuna gave a hoarse cough in response, hand over his mouth to hide the motion as best he could and to mask the worrisome taste of iron starting to creep into his mouth with each fit, “I bet,” he finally managed out, “Master Kotarou always spoke highly of the one who oversees it. A great sorcerer in his own right,”
“Maybe someone who can help us with our training still,” Yuuji said with a smile.
Sukuna just stared at that long road as he raised a hand to cover his cough again before rasping out a wheezy, “Maybe,”
Yuuji gave a concerned look but held his tongue, knowing how stubborn Sukuna was about showing anything considered a weakness. He knew his friend would brush him off and tell him he was fine. He let out a soft sigh, letting his gaze fall to the path before them.
Ahead of them a few steps, the puppy they had taken in bounded ahead. Yuuji had called it Akuto for its antics but Sukuna had settled on Zasshu to show is begrudging affections to the little thing. The puppy was a burden on supplies, but there was never any convincing Yuuji otherwise to logic when is heart was made up. So Akuto Zasshu pranced about happily ahead as if the pup was forging a path ahead of them to the city, just as eager to find scraps to nose about.
Small miracles held for the two for once on the miserable journey. The weather held steady for the two days it took to meander the road through slush and mud. They had managed to beg a few bites of food off a kindly merchant caravan that had been heading in the other direction. They had managed to find good places to camp and shelter that would keep them from falling to a freezing death in the night. They continued to march along with wavering strength, bolstered by the hope that burned in their souls and in the warmth of each other’s hands, clasped together.
But all miracles were a temporary thing. That was what Yuuji and Sukuna had always been taught, and as the crested the final rise to see the city they had long searched for, spread out like a gem among the rolling hills in all its grandeur, the skies overhead had become dark and swollen once more with the flakes of coming snow falling from them like miserable frozen tears.
“We made it,” Yuuji breathed out as his eyes fell over the city that sprawled before them, “Look Ryoumen, we made it!”
Sukuna was a lethargic weight against Yuuji’s side. He barely lifted his eyes to look dully at the sight as his breath rattled wet and dangerous in his chest.
“Finally,” Sukuna murmured, “Just have to get to the monastery, then we can rest,”
“Yeah,” Yuuji said pulling one of Sukuna’s arm tighter about his shoulder to support the weight of his ailing friend, “And you’ll finally get better,”
Because every step seemed to be ebbing away at what little strength Sukuna had left. The shorter boy had grown so pale in the past two days and his eyes dull. Yuuji had seen such looks among the sick who had come to the monastery they grew up in and in the village he had been born in. It was a look that put a fear in Yuuji as those dull eyes spoke of a deathly illness that was making his friend into a ghost of a human. It made Yuuji fear so much that he would see another person in his life pass away with soft, wheezing breaths.
Only this time he would know they were gone, now old enough to understand death.
Yuuji swallowed hard as he began to shuffle forward, tugging Sukuna along, “Should get moving before those clouds roll in any closer,” he said softly.
“What’s one more storm to walk through?” Sukuna murmured, closing his lower eyes listlessly.
“Maybe the last one we can manage,” Yuuji responded quietly.
Sukuna fell silent at that as his gaze fell to the ground. The shorter boy followed after iYuuji in a daze. He stumble like a man drunk as the growing fever grew more dangerous. The wind picked up with a howl halfway to the gate of the city and soon after, snow began to fall in thick clumps and started to mask the city under a blanket of grey, frigid sheets.
The snow was coming down thick by the time the two of them reached the gate. The guards barely gave the two a passing glance as they stumbled through with heads bowed. It was not worth their time to rise up from their warm fires to brave the wretched winter storm that was coming in with a fury just to check out to frail looking boys.
The streets were blasted into shades of dark blue, black, and grey by the wind and snow. It blew off the roofs in dancing sheets like a threatening dance of fans from a specter of cold death performing before whatever kami held the reigns of winter. Yuuji scowled into the face of it all, cloth tied tight about his face so only his amber eyes squinted through the storm as he moved down the maze of streets, both hands clutched about Sukuna.
By that point, the shorter boy was hanging off Yuuji with quickly waning strength. All four arms were gripped onto Yuuji like a lifeline as they moved along. The wind howled and buffered at them, but there was a burning will in Yuuji that nature itself was not about to stop. He had his goals in mind, his eyes set on the looming roof of the monastery that stood above all else in the city like a beacon of hope. In his mind, he knew if he reached that building, they would be fine. Sukuna would be fine.
He just had to make it these last few steps.
A monastery was a place of hope for both of them. It was a familiar place of familiar routines and expectations that would rest comfortably at the end of their road of struggle.
So Yuuji soldiered on, gripping onto Sukuna, practically dragging the smaller boy along as he finally fell under the shadow of the monastery at last.
The monastery loomed out of the snowstorm slowly like a giant being revealed and the whole of it held none of the familiar warmth of their old home. The walls were high and grim with pointed broken pottery littering the tops of the wall to discourage anyone from daring to climb over. The doors remained shut tight and there were no familiar scents or a warm glow that cut through the worse of winter to welcome people closer.
It was cold and dark, looming above Yuuji as he stood there with a cold feeling settling in his stomach as if he could sense something sinister that crept around the place. It was dull and glassy, like Sukuna’s eyes, like the eyes of the sick, but hope had him raising his hand to knock loudly on the door nonetheless.
There was no response and Yuuji only narrowed his eyes and squared his shoulders before knocking again and again. Louder and louder each time and never relenting even as the nerves in his chest grew and the fears buried under his hope for an end to their troubles grew.
As Yuuji raised his hand to knock loudly again, the door of the place finally creaked open like some forbidden vault and the soft glow of a lantern fell upon him and Sukuna. A bald, stern looking monk peered out at them with an unpleasant frown on his lips.
“We are not providing shelter,” he stated bluntly, “Go elsewhere,”
“We are survivors from our own monastery!” Yuuji blurted out as the man went to withdrew, “Master Baso and Master Kotarou… they are dead. We came here because we were told this was the place to seek for sanctuary!”
The man paused and the cold mask he wore slipped a bit with a wince of regret, “That is...unfortunate news,” he said softly, “But it does not change the fact we have no room for more mouths to feed within our monastery,”
“We don’t need much!” Yuuji protested, voice cracking as he stood there, holding onto Sukuna who’s feverish gaze was staring down into the snow, “Just one night. Just a little bit of food. That is all we need. We won’t cause any fuss! Just...please,” Yuuji’s voice cracked as sheer desperation laced every word, “There is no where else to go,”
A cough escaped Sukuna and the monk’s expression was pained as he refused to look at the two, grasping tight at his lantern, “We don’t have enough for any more mouths,” he repeated, voice cracking just a touch, “We already lost so many this season. The abbot, the elders,”
The monk swallowed hard and hardened his expression, “We can’t take you in,”
“Please!”
“I’m so sorry,” The monk said, voice soft and filled with regret as he retreated behind those doors.
Those monastery doors closed and Yuuji stood there, helpless in the roar of a snowstorm, staring at those doors as if watching a death sentence be sealed for both him and Sukuna.
There was no where else to go. All their struggle to get here was for nothing.
Sukuna sagged more against Yuuji and he turned quickly to catch his friend, “Ryoumen!”
“It’s over, isn’t it?” Sukuna murmured, voice faint, dull like his feverish eyes, “All that we’ve done-”
Yuuji swallowed hard as he knelt in that snow, trying to prop Sukuna up as he sank more. It was if that final hope of sanctuary had been the last bit of strength that had kept Sukuna’s ill body moving and without it, there was nothing left to drive him forward.
Pinprick of tears cooled at the corner of Yuuji’s eyes and he rubbed at them lightly with one hand before cradling Sukuna tight into a hug, shaking his head.
“It isn’t over,” Yuuji whispered, “We got each other,”
“And then what? What will that do?” Sukuna choked out, “We did what everyone said to do. We got to the city, but...”
Yuuji felt tears starting to roll down his cheeks as he heard Sukuna’s voice trail off. He seized his friend in a tight hug, as if that alone would be enough to protect them both, “It isn’t over, okay? I promised to look after you and I will. You’ll get better. We’ll think of something. There is always more than one road,”
Yuuji wiped at his face as he looked about in the blizzard. Little Ahoto Zasshu whimpered, staring up at his master with mournful eyes as his fur became more matted with falling snow. Yuuji swallowed hard, closing his eyes and his grip on Sukuna tightened, “It isn’t over,” he repeated, his voice becoming firm, as commanding as one of the lead monks, “It isn’t over and I’ll find a way,”
There was always a will in Yuuji. Tragedy and pain clung to him like a cloak from the day he was born but they were familiar weights he had learned to bear. Yuuji rose up in that snow and pulled Sukuna up onto his shoulders as he squinted into the snow storm with a look of burning determination.
The city was huge and empty as those that could hid away. There was no one coming to their rescue, but if there was no one to come and the Buddha kept his blessings away, then Yuuji was determined to force his own will on the world and carve a path. He began to trudge along, eyes focused as he looked about at the buildings around him with careful consideration. At his heels Ahoto Zasshu followed along, just as steadfast as his master with ears flat to his skull and a determined step.
Yuuji walked until he came to structure he could recognize as the warehouses that were used for storing goods that merchants brought to trade and for use by the lords of the land to amass their wealth. Such buildings were guarded of course, but in such a storm, the guards would not be so keen of eye nor likely to be on patrol.
And Yuuji knew that such buildings were riddled with holes and lose boards. The cats kept fat off of catching the little creatures that would try to wiggle their way in after all and Yuuji was a little thing still himself, barely on the cusp of manhood and with nothing left to lose.
He lurched to the building and gently eased Sukuna down and propped him up against the side of the building, allowing a bit of shelter from the biting wind, “Wait here. I’ll be right back,” Yuuji said softly.
Sukuna’s head lulled up, fear creeping into his gaze, “Yuuji, don’t-”
“Ahoto will stay with you. He’s a good boy. He looks after you when I can’t,” Yuuji said as he moved to pick up the puppy to set in Sukuna’s lap, “I’ll be back. It is going to be okay,”
Sukuna stared at Yuuji, eyes glistening, but he nodded, all four arms coming to wrap about Ahoto Zasshu, “Okay,” he whispered, “I trust you. You’ll be back,”
“Before you even start to miss me terribly,” Yuuji promised with a cracked-lip smile.
He turned then and began to feel along the structure. He pushed and tugged at the wooden sides and let numb fingers press against crevasses and holes for something to give. With every firm board and unyielding press, Yuuji’s eyes just narrowed further, all the more determined to find something as he pushed despair away under his indomitable desire to hold true to his promise.
His fingers sunk into a deeper crack and he gave a pull. His heart jumped as something finally moved and with some effort, he could push aside the board. A breath escaped Yuuji of relief as he pushed the board fully aside, propping it up with his bag before he hustled back to Sukuna. Ahoto Zasshu whined as he approached and Yuuji smiled, moving then to pick up Sukuna.
“Let’s go,”
There was no response from Sukuna and Yuuji felt a surge of panic, “Ryoumen?”
Nothing was said back.
Yuuji felt fear but he did not delay, instead hauling Sukuna onto his back and hurrying back to the hole he found. The puppy dashed ahead and into the opening and Yuuji had to crouch, moving to first push Sukuna through before inching his way in. He quickly pulled in his bag and pulled the board shut to hide their tracks before he was stumbling further into the open room. All around were sacks of goods and closed crates, making a wall of shelter from eyes in a corner of the place. The collection of dust and old discarded leaves gave Yuuji hope at least it was a place that often went overlooked.
The interior was cold, but the wind was kept away and Yuuji wasted little time in laying Sukuna onto his side and using whatever cloth he could to bundle him up. Then he turned frostbitten fingers to making a small fire within their shabby shelter.
The warmth of that little flame, contained with one of the large cooking pots they had managed to scrounge up provided some heat. A handful of snow into cups to melt for water provided some substance and also a cold cloth to rest against Sukuna’s feverish brow.
The cough that rattled up was a comfort to Yuuji as it meant his friend wasn’t dead.
Yuuji held onto the puppy, stroking a hand over its fur as it nestled close to him and he nestled closed to Sukuna. And they sat, the three of them together as the storm raged outside.
“I’ve got this,” Yuuji murmured, “I’ll do everything I can to save you,”
The only response was a raspy breath that rattled like death in Sukuna’s chest.
The morning light did not filter in through the building, but the grunts and shifting of items in the storehouse woke Yuuji up and he tensed, wondering if they would be found out. He moved quickly to hold a cloth over Sukuna’s mouth, less his coughing alert the guards and laborers working to move some of the storehouse’s goods around, but within an hour, the workers left, closing the doors behind them.
A sigh escaped Yuuji and he pulled his hand away from Sukuna’s mouth. A raspy cough followed the movement but Sukuna did not awake. Yuuji sat there for a moment, worrying his lip before looking to Ahoto Zasshu.
“Stay here,” He said in a whisper, “I’ll be back,”
The puppy tilted its head, but took a seat beside Sukuna obediently with a small yip.
Yuuji didn’t want to leave, but he had no choice but to go then, out the little entrance and into the streets of the city. Survival was keen on his mind, driving him as he looked over the awakening city. The smell of early morning food in the air from various inns had Yuuji’s stomach clenching painfully as he set out along the streets. In the early hours, he had little company save the slow trudge of men who had spent the evening in less revered company making their slow stumble of shame back to their homes.
Yuuji watched them, shoving his hands into his robes as he shuffled after a few. The hungover lords were easy pickings after all and Yuuji, for all his virtue and innocence of a monk, had always had fingers a little more sticky than what was expected. He had always pinched extra food from the kitchens and a few trinkets from visiting lords, nothing, in his mind, that would be missed.
A missing purse of coins here or a string of coins there found their way into Yuuji’s robes, hidden away silently to not give way to the deception there. As the city came more to life, it was also easier to find those that were more easy to beg off of as well.
Yuuji knew well his wide eyed look of boyish innocent and gentle smile could melt hearts enough to get a few bits of food. In the city, the working women of the night, standing idly about the courtyard of taverns to scrub clean the night’s activities were always more kind than most and Yuuji found himself with a bowl of rice porridge among his meager scraps.
He took back his bounties to the warehouse, wiggling his way back in and moving to Sukuna, “Hey, I got breakfast,”
Sukuna’s eyes fluttered open and he looked over at Yuuji, offering something that was almost a smile, “Breakfast?”
“A lady gave me her breakfast,” He said as he offered over the bowl, “I already ate some, so you can have the rest,”
A lie. Yuuji hadn’t touch the unexpected bounty. He had taken his fill from the scraps and little pieces of morsels, just enough to sooth his aching belly some.
In his mind, he wasn’t the one who needed this when Sukuna was looking closer to the dead than the living.
Yuuji helped his friend to sit up, pressing up to his side as helped Sukuna to take slow sips of the lukewarm porridge. His heart was wrenching at every pause to allow Sukuna to cough hard into his hand and there was no masking the blood present or how much was coming up with each hoarse cough. Still Yuuji kept his smile, doing what he could to help Sukuna to finish the meal before easing him back down.
“Going to find some more things,” Yuuji said softly, “Just keep the fire going if you can and keep warm,”
“I feel too warm,” Sukuna murmured, eyes closing tight as he shivered with fever, “I feel so hot,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, “Just keep bundled up. It is actually super chilly out here,” He said as he slid a hand through his friend’s hair, “I’ll have so much more food too,”
And with that, he was back into the streets, clutching onto the coins he had stolen and a singular goal in mind. The coins would have to be enough to buy what he could to bring his friend from the brink of the abyss.
The days passed and Yuuji took the time to map out the city. As the snow melted away, he grew more confident in his activities as a retreat of winter meant growing crowds in the city. What Yuuji could swipe from those more well off as they wandered between pleasurable company, taverns, and shops, he spent quickly towards what he needed.
He leaned up on the counter of an apothecary among strange dried mushrooms, leaves, and a huge ox horn on display as he poured out coins before a graying man with a foreign look about him. Yuuji listed out all Sukuna’s symptoms in a worried rush as the apothecary owner ran a hand over his long beard before turning to muddle through his hundreds of little jars and drawers. Yuuji clutched tight to the little packet of medicine like it was gold and hung onto every word the old healer murmured about.
It had to be brewed carefully. He had to make sure Sukuna’s feet were kept warm and he was drinking plenty of hot liquids. Make sure he was laying with his head in the correct direction to help balance his soul. Apply some pressure to a few points along the chest to help break the illness.
Yuuji nodded, eyes narrowed and he dutifully rushed to Sukuna to do as he was told, holding onto hope that the medicine would do something.
Because it seemed the whole city was sick with a plague. Something had come upon the city in the winter, some savage disease dragged in from the countryside where the lungs grew heavy with liquid before choking a person to death on blood and phlegm. The afflicted would choke on raspy breath before passing away. So many had died from it as it swept through and Yuuji had seen the bodies being piled up to burn outside the city walls by guards called in to help handle the afflicted.
Yuuji was determined that Sukuna would not end up that way. He stole and traded what he got. He found food wherever he could, be it begging with wide eyes to sympathetic souls or skillfully swiping it from stall keepers busy with a client. Their little hiding spot grew more cluttered with items of small comfort and with each passing day, Yuuji sat attentively at Sukuna’s side, applying the medicine and feeding Sukuna.
Just like the slow creep of spring into the land, so too did strength slowly creep back into Sukuna.
The fever would break and slowly their was more light in Sukuna’s eyes. Soon he was sitting up, still silent with a bitter frown to his lips, but soon he was eating on his own and able to help with some tasks.
When the first warm day of spring finally came through between downpours of cold rain, Sukuna crawled out after an excited Yuuji, blinking as he regarded blue skies and a cheerful day.
“I told you it was a nice day out!” Yuuji said with a grin.
“I guess it has been a while since I got to saw a day that wasn’t miserable for a while,” Sukuna murmured as he followed cautiously after Yuuji, “Or see a day at all,”
“You were sick for a long time,” Yuuji said as he reached over to take Sukuna’s hand in his own.
Sukuna looked down at the ground, his grip tightening on Yuuji’s hand, “I’m just glad you didn’t get sick,”
“I’m too cute to get sick” Yuuji declared with a grin, “And tall and handsome!”
That had Sukuna rolling his eyes with a faint smile as he regarded Yuuji, “You keep bragging about your height, but just wait. I’m going to catch up and dwarf you by the time we become men,”
Yuuji snorted, “As if!”
Sukuna shook his head before looking about, wrinkling his nose at the smell of mud slowly drying in the sunlight, “At least it stopped raining,”
“It has been pretty miserable of late, but that just makes it easy to look sorry and sad,” Yuuji said with a grin, hands cupping his face as he gave a pouting sad look to Sukuna.
That caused the shorter boy to snort and nudge up against Yuuji, “Your talents of being pathetic finally pay off eh?”
“Don’t say it like that!” Yuuji whined, “It saved your life!”
Sukuna paused before allowing him a small smile, “I guess so,”
Sukuna paused to take in a deep breath, letting it fill his lungs, no longer a rattle in them, before he looked to Yuuji, “We should find a new place to live though. With winter over, they will be doing inventory of the supplies and probably find us at last,”
“Yeah,” Yuuji said with a sigh, “We can look around and see if anything stands out,”
A delighted smile creased Yuuji’s lips as he grabbed a hold of Sukuna’s hands, “I’ll give you a grand tour of the city first though! It is so huge and so many things to see and people to meet!”
Sukuna gave a snort, but couldn’t help a smile, “So not a waste to come here after all?”
Yuuji gave a nod, “We can do something else is all! Who wants to be a stingy monk at this monastery anyways? Not me!”
“Not me either,” Sukuna agreed, giving Yuuji’s hands a squeeze, “We can go find our own monastery later,”
“Yeah!” Yuuji brightened up with that, “Once we become super rich and super respected sorcerers, we can build like ten monasteries and make sure they are good places!”
“Exactly,” Sukuna gave a squeeze to Yuuji’s hand, “Now, show me everything I need to know. I don’t want to just let you keep taking care of me! It is my turn now to take care of you!”
Under the bright sun, the two took off along the streets of the city, the name of it not important to either of them as it was a place to live for now. The spring warmth had drawn out crowds from all over and from all walks of life. With care, Yuuji took to his usual petty crimes that he had learned to master. There was a pride burning bright in Yuuji’s eyes as he showed of his sleight of hands to Sukuna who stared in slight awe. The streets were a new kind of home and Yuuji introduced Sukuna to all the people whom they now shared company with from the beggars and homeless laborers who slept by the wall, to the various working girls who crowded outside of taverns in the morning to wash away the shame.
All of them shared the gutters and alleys in their own ways, with a court of royalty and nobles all their own. There were rules to follow and people not to cross, all of which Yuuji explained to Sukuna as they trotted along in their new home.
With the spring though came other changes and events and Yuuji came to a halt as a crowd of people massed up in front of what was usually clear road. He paused, glancing to Sukuna, “This is new,”
“What do you mean?” Sukuna asked between mouthfuls of a snatched up dumpling from a stall.
“It is kind of crowded in the city center here, but not like this,” Yuuji said with a furrowed brow.
“maybe something important going on? Cities are home to important people and figures,” Sukuna said with a shrug before shoving the rest of the stolen meal into his mouth.
Yuuji pursed his lips before he nudged Sukuna and gestured up to one of the roofs, “Let’s get a better look!”
Both boys needed little prompting from the other to rush over into one of the alleyways and clamber up beams and discarded refuge to get up onto the roof and haul themselves up. They weren’t even alone in such an endeavor as other street children had climbed up to see what was going on like a crowd of monkeys sitting outside a temple.
Yuuji and Sukuna moved to crouch on the roof beside a group of ratty alley cats like themselves, eyes wide as they watched a colorful parade of dancers and musicians move along the streets. Acrobats jumped and leaped forward in displays of agility that had Yuuji staring in awe. All of this proceeded a huge carried platform upon which a stern man sat with grim eyes and a cold demeanor as he looked over the crowd with a forced smile of false kindness.
The man seemed so powerful, adorned in riches and wealth that made Yuuji imagine he had to be some sort of god that had come down. Every finger was covered in shimmering gold and precious stones and everything about him spoke of someone who could command the world with a glance.
And yet, there was something familiar in the man’s face, like a passing resemblance that had Yuuji squinting a bit before he turned towards Sukuna.
“Who is that?” Yuuji asked.
Sukuna stared at the man silently before glancing away, “Don’t know,”
Yuuji pursed his lips, feeling like Sukuna was not telling the truth before he turned to one of the other children crouched up on the roof with them.
“Who is that?” Yuuji repeated to the nearest one.
“How could you not know?” One of them shot back wit ha huff, “That’s the emperor! He’s going to the temple to make the spring prayers and stuff for prosperity,”
Yuuji gave a hum, eyes narrowed as he looked at the stern face of the emperor again, “He looks familiar,”
Sukuna said nothing as he stared at the man sullenly, “You say that about everytone, Yuuji,” he said quietly.
Yuuji gave a huff, “I do not!” he said as he watched the various noble families follow after the emperor dressed in their own splendor, “But he does look familiar! I swear I saw his face before!”
“And I guess you are going to say everyone in this parade looks familiar, aren’t you?” Sukuna snapped, still glaring away from the parade, “He is a stranger. You’ve never seen him or anything about him before,”
Yuuji glowered at Sukuna, although the look had no heat. He could tell something was bothering his friend. Where once the smaller boy had been gawking at the whole parade, now he seemed so much more sullen, as if reminded of something that he was content to keep close to himself and close to his heart.
Yuuji shook his head with a huff before looking back to the parade, eyes growing round with curiousity, “Now that’s a weird looking boy!” he said, pointing to the parade.
Sukuna glanced over, watching as some teenage boy with snow-white hair and brilliant blue eyes was parade just after the emperor. He was dressed richly and looked so soft like a porcelain doll, no doubt never touched by a hint of trouble in his life. The white-haired boy was smirking, preening under the attention of the crowd as he stood next to a man with features similar to him who was no doubt his father. The older man seemed to have such pride for his son, a hand on his shoulder and all but beaming to show off his prodigy.
The whole sight made Sukuna scowl more, curling up some as he brought his knees to his chest, “looks like any other noble we’ve seen. Stupid, probably arrogant, and super dumb,”
Yuuji looked at Sukuna, hands on his hips, “You don’t even know him!”
“I don’t need to know him to tell he never ever had to feel a pinch of starvation,” Sukuna sneered, baring teeth as something ugly and hurtful tugged in his chest, “I bet he never had to struggle for anything!”
“Satoru Gojo is a noble, of course he lives in luxury,” one of the other street urchins retorted at Sukuna, “The gods made them lucky and it is said he is on track to become the most powerful sorcerer in the world!”
“Not to mention the emperor has made clear his intentions for him to marry one of his daughters and make him the new emperor,” one of the girls on the roof said with a soft sigh, “It would be so great to marry him I bet. He probably would be such a dotting husband!”
That had Sukuna baring his teeth in a look of disgust and there was a look of almost naked hurt and pain in Sukuna’s expression as he curled up more, glaring down at the roof he sat on, “Someone like that could never become the most powerful sorcerer. Never in a thousand years. I won’t allow it!”
Yuuji shot Sukuna a concerned look, noting the dark mood that had come over his friends. There was a look of disgust that Sukuna now wore openly, mixed with a bite of vicious jealousy as his eyes focused on Satoru Gojo as the young white-haired sorcerer preened and smiled to the crowd that seemed so utterly taken with him.
Envy and longing was so clear in Sukuna’s expression even as he looked away and rose back up to his feet, “They are all stupid. They just flaunt all that wealth so everyone here just laps it up,”
“What’s wrong with looking at how the other side lives anyways?” Another urchin pipped up, “Are you jealous or something?”
“I’m not jealous of that!” Sukuna snapped, “I’m better off where I am and how I am than...than all that!”
Yuuji could see his bluff because he had never seen Sukuna so upset. Not since the noble at the monastery. There was something vile mixed with pain as the urchin snorted, getting to their feet to toddle along to watch the parade move on, “You look jealous,” the said with a huff, “Like you think you deserve any of that with how mean you look,”
Sukuna flinched a bit at that and his eyes narrowed and hands balled in fists at his side. The urchin who had spoke, a scrawny boy a few years older than them, shifted to kneel down near the edge of the roof as if making to get off it. Yuuji looked away to the parade as the white-haired boy, Satoru, lifted his hands to make a dazzling display.
Sukuna raised his own hand quickly and made a quick gesture, a cold look in his eyes that matched the same expression the emperor wore.
The urchin that had spoken up let out a cry as cut erupted against his leg, deep and painful enough to cause him to stumble. A scream erupted from him as he overbalanced, drawing the eyes of the crowd over as the boy’s eyes widened in fear. Yuuji reached out for him, desperate to try and grab onto something but his fingers only met air. In horror, Yuuji watched the poor boy fall off the edge of the roof and plummet to the ground.
A scream erupted as blood was spilled as the boy fell upon sticks of bamboo that had been pilled up to sell, one of them ripping through his chest. The magic of the parade was ruined as people rushed away and others moved to try and help the gurgling boy as life faded from his eyes. Yuuji stared in horror, one hand over his mouth.
Satoru paused from where he stood, eyes wide as he looked on in horror before his father hastily spirited him away behind his robes and moved quickly away from the tragedy.
Only Sukuna stood apart, impassive as he watched what was going on. A slight smirk tugged at his lips as he took a bone deep satisfaction in ruining the whole parade, even if the death of the boy caused a stir of guilty.
That wide-eyed look on Satoru’s face of horror had been worn once on Sukuna’s face.
And only once.
Death was too familiar and the words of the urchin had been like knives in Sukuna’s soul and he was rather tired of always having to hurt for other people. Sukuna brushed aside the guilt as he turned to climb down without a second thought. He barely registered Yuuji following after him a few moments later.
Yuuji was pale, swallowing hard as he came up beside Sukuna.
“Did you-”
“I didn’t see anything,” Sukuna lied, “I saw them cut themselves against the roof and fall off,”
Yuuji looked unsure, “It was a clean cut,” he said softly, “Ryoumen, you didn’t-”
“I didn’t do anything. Did you see me do anything?” Sukuna retorted with a frown, “It was just another tragedy of some kid no one will miss. Just like if it was any of us up there,”
Yuuji worried his lip some as he stared at the cold look on Sukuna’s face that tugged hard at his memory. He gently reached out to touch his hand, voice soft, “Ryoumen, why are you upset?”
“Nobles make me upset,” Sukuna replied simply as he tugged his hand away. He was not about to admit to the jealousy and pain in his own soul at the whole parade. Such shows of grand wealth and a prodigy son so lovingly adored by both crowds and the emperor ate at something hateful in Sukuna that had been easy to ignore when he was in the monastery and surrounded by those that did love him.
Not the blood family that had decided to hide him away and only spared his life out of fear of greater forces that would make their lives even a little bit miserable.
Sukuna stared at the ground, trying not to sneer and force his hands to relax from curled fists. He took in a breath and looked at Yuuji with a small smile as he reached out to take his hand, “One day, I’m going to adorn you in riches like that,” he promised, “It just makes me upset I can’t do that now,”
Yuuji blinked before smiling, “Maybe just once. I think it would feel almost weird having that much stuff around,”
“I think such thing would fit you better than the rags you wear,” Sukuna murmured, looking at Yuuji, “It would be a life where we would have every pleasure we could want. No more living in the streets. No more pretending that starving and living so miserably is the path to some stupid enlightenment,”
“What do you mean?” Yuuji asked slowly, looking a bit hesitant.
Sukuna gave a hum, “I don’t want to be a monk anymore,” he said as he turned away, hands on his hips, “I’m going to become the most powerful sorcerer in the world and then they will have parades to me for slaying curses that no one else dared to confront,”
Yuuji’s brow furrowed, “But I thought you really wanted to be a monk?”
That caused Sukuna to hesitate some before he shook his head firmly, “I want to eat meat. I want to live in a nice house with nice things,” he turned to Yuuji, just a bit of a faint blush on his cheeks, “And I want you to be with me all that time. The two of us, the most powerful sorcerers ever. Protecting everyone and doing everything nobles would never do. We will have the world laid out before us and have even the emperor wishing to eat from our plates,”
Yuuji blinked again before he smiled, bright and full again, taking Sukuna’s hands in his own, “I’ll always be at your side, Ryoumen! That’s just a given! Just,” he paused, looking away, “Just we can do that without having to make other people suffer, right?”
Those soft words brought a simmering of guilt to Sukuna as he recalled the urchin he just harmed and caused the death of. That crumpled body laying in the street while everyone looked on in horror and Yuuji, hand over his mouth, staring at the scene with wide eyes as if death still surprised him.
Sukuna closed his eyes and took in a breath, “I will do better,” he said softly, “Just forgive me if I sometimes mess up,”
“I already told you I would forgive you,” Yuuji said with a smile, leaning in a bit, “I care about you more than anyone in this whole world!”
Sukuna flushed, glancing away as he gripped Yuuji’s hands a bit tighter, the guilt starting to eat at him as the moment of sick glee faded away into the reality of what he did, “Me too,” he looked over at Yuuji, feeling something heavy and warm in his chest, “You are the only person who matters to me left. The only person I know loves me,”
They stood there, holding hands and staring at the other. There was a strange electricity in the air neither one was yet old enough to truly grasp. For Yuuji, it was thinking of those stolen kisses of servants in the monastery and the passionate serenades of lovesick village boys in the night. For Sukuna, it was only Yuuji, standing before him, like something perfect and precious, with wide amber eyes and boyish looks that were starting to melt away into the harder lines of adulthood.
Sukuna swallowed, licking his lips some before he looked away, letting go of Yuuji’s hands, “We need to find a new home,”
Yuuji stared, almost looking taken aback as the strange moment passed before he dipped his head, “Y-yeah, right,”
He paused a moment before coming up beside Sukuna to take his hand, hesitating before leaning in to press a kiss to Sukuna’s cheek with a blush, “Something good for the two of us against the world, right?”
Sukuna gawked a bit, face red as he looked away and covered his mouth with his hand as if in shock at Yuuji’s actions, but still he nodded, “Yeah. Just the two of us,” he stammered out, “Always just the two of us, forever,”
Like a promise it was said. Like a vow.
It would always be just them and their story.
Even if they had no idea of how love was a tragedy that held no kindness towards either of them.
Notes:
This fic is always so hard to write just from the sad feels, but always lightened by the small moments where these two can be stupid idiots ; w ;
Chapter 6: Broken
Notes:
WARNINGS: this chapter has some gruesome deaths included (of nameless characters, but still gruesome) and implied non-con/rape, although nothing is shown, only alluded to. That is my warning for this chapter as it is a darker one of this series in the middle, but Sukuna is his own warning and he's starting to step into the role we know too well...
THE ANGST LEVEL IS HEAVY.
Dog is fine 100% because Yuuji deserves to hug his dog for comfort u_u
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The fruit merchants were some of the hardest people to rob from, every petty thief knew that. The merchants sat at their stalls like mother hawks over their eggs with an untrusting eye given to all but those patrons that frequented their stalls. Whenever street urchins dared to get close, the merchants were ready with a switch in hand to swat at reaching hands and live stinging blisters to those that weren’t fast enough to get away and their loud hollering never failed to bring the guards.
However the fruit stalls and their sweet, bright bounties were the most lucrative produce to target when it came to making a steal. If enough could be snatched, it would mean being able to sell them on a street corner across the city for a pleasant purse of coin that could time one over a few more weeks.
It was a risky target but Yuuji was well trained at this point for snatching fruits.
At fifteen, he was as swift as a tiger in his own mind, and just as quiet too. He no longer had the scrappy look of a street urchin and more the looks of a young man with a charming smile and never a look of trouble around him. He had taken the time to chat with the merchants and offer small bit of help here and there. With a sweet smile he had gotten into their good graces without them ever thinking he was the sort to engage in thievery.
It made Yuuji’s job easy at the very least. A sleight of hands here and he could make off with a few fruits before those watchful eyes even noticed.
He also was a perfectly good distraction for Sukuna to make his move.
Yuuji could swipe a few, but Sukuna could swipe a whole lot more if the timing was just right, and the two of them had learned well during their times on the street to always be in sync with each other when the stalked their prey.
“They got new apples in today,” Yuuji said quietly from where he leaned against the wall beside Sukuna, “Super fresh looking!”
“Polish them up nice and would be an easy sell around the scholar gardens,” Sukuna said with a narrow eyed look.
Yuuji gave a nod, glancing to Sukuna, “We making a move then?”
A smirk touched Sukuna’s lips as he straightened up, giving a small bow to Yuuji, “After you,”
Yuuji gave a snort and shake of his head. The years in the city had been tough, but the two of them had made every effort to survive together and had continued to grow up side by side, although by now, Yuuji felt like he was the butt of a joke as Sukuna had went from rather short and round to shooting up by the inches now. He stood eye level with Yuuji, the boyish roundness of his face finally starting to fade. He still was slender, not yet filling out, which Yuuji was at least glad for.
Yuuji was rather proud of the muscles that had started to come onto his own frame and that he could at least tease Sukuna still for now being a bean pole rather than a short, chubby dumpling.
Now the same height, they moved as a pair of tigers, locking into the fruit stall and prowling close. Yuuji led the theft, coming up to the stall owner with a bright smile and dip of his head, already making a show of flashing coins to make it appear a he truly was going to be a paying, law-abiding customer. The glimmer of pay had the merchants attention and smile immediately.
“Ah Yuuji! Always good to see you!” the merchant said with a dip of his head, “Guessing you caught the gleam and scent of some fresh apples brought in fresh from the highlands?”
“How could I not?” Yuuji said with a laugh, looking over the bounty, “You don’t see a haul like this often in the market. Sold a lot already I bet!”
“Can barely keep them stocked!” The merchant declared proudly, “Would you like to buy some?”
“Think I can afford two today,” Yuuji said as he looked over his coin as he leaned onto the stall some to count the coin out where the merchant could see, “Now let’s see,”
The merchants attention was on Yuuji and the coins to be exchange. His eyes weren’t on Sukuna who made as if to go down an alleyway, one hand rising, just briefly, to make a cut along the stall’s supports. There was creak and the Merchant turned his head confused before he let out a yelp as one half crashed, sending apples flying. Yuuji gasped, although the move was expected and he made as if to help the merchant pick them up, although he was spiriting some away into the sleeves of his kimono.
Sukuna was already out of sight, one of the small crates of apple under one arm and making his escape with a smirk.
Honestly it was too easy at this point. The two once monks in training, now petty thieves, had learned the trades of the street and become wise quickly to what it took to survive. With no one around that cared, the two had learned to rely on each other above all else. So they had learned to steal and perfected the art together, weaving their talents, and coming away with more than a few prizes to tide them over week by week.
Sukuna slowed his pace once he was well away from the commotion and he trusted in Yuuji to meet up with him. Even if Yuuji got caught, Sukuna knew he was plenty fast enough to get away from some overweight merchant and the bumbling city guards. If anything, the worse that would happen would Yuuji finding some younger street urchins and being a bleeding heart to offer some of his bounty to their hungry stomachs.
That thought had Sukuna snorting and shaking his head as he cut out into the main stretch of road through the capitol city. With summer ending and fall about to start, the streets were filled with travelers and merchants looking to sell the last of their goods before heading out before the colder weather settled in. The nobles in the latest fashions drifted here and there between the higher end shops and the high-end taverns that were slowly becoming a hub of culture and closed door relationships.
For all the splendor though, the growth of the city and all the gilded grandeur that was presented on the surface, there were other things that grew in places where both human joy and human misery settled. There were dark things that moved out of sight for most of the population.
Sukuna ducked around a wagon and into one of the dingy alleys of the city and to where an old, ragged garden stood, long dead as the city had long since grown away from the place and left it to its decay. It was the usual spot Yuuji and Sukuna would meet up at after a score to count what they had managed to steal and figure out where to sell it.
Thist time though, Sukuna could feel something was off. He tilted his head, his lower eyes opening as he looked about carefully before pausing with a slight frown. At the far end of the garden where a small alley began, the twitching lower half of a dirty child lay. The bare feet still giving minor kicks out and blood slowly seeped into the dirt of the ground. Sukuna trailed his eyes from those dirty bare feet up to the torn up hakama of the urchin and then further up to the curse that had settled into this alleyway to feast.
The city had grown in trade and grand design, but it had also grown in curses, more suited to hunting and hiding in such a place than their country kin.
Sukuna frowned a touch as the curse crunched and suckled on flesh, regarding it like one would an insect before he raised a hand, eyes narrowed. It took only a flick of Sukuna’s fingers to cut through the curse. The thing barely managed a gurgle before its body was ripped to shreds by Sukuna’s cursed technique. It collapsed and the gnawed on, half-eaten corpse flopped onto the ground, the head nothing but a battered mash of bone and gore.
Sukuna gave a tsk at that, giving a glance around before he moved over and carefully moved to shove the corpse further into the alleyway and out of sight under one of the nearby shabby homes. He knew well enough if Yuuji saw the corpse, he would want to properly bury it and waste their day.
At this point, Sukuna was rather tired of being a poor man’s undertaker at the behest of the more empathetic boy. He had barely gotten the corpse shoved into its hiding spot when he heard Yuuji’s loud voice as he came whooping into the scraggly garden.
“We did it Sukuna! Another successful heist!” Yuuji declared with a grin.
Sukuna smiled back as he straightened up with the crate of apples under his arm, “Was their any doubt we would pull it off?” he commented with a grin, “We’ll be able to sell these out in front of the tavern easily,”
“Yeah,” Yuuji paused though, cocking his head as he noticed all four of Sukuna’s eyes open, “Something wrong? You got all your eyes out,”
Sukuna gave a shake of his head,” Nothing at all. Just some skittering little curse that was thinking I looked like something to gnaw on,”
Yuuji gave a snort at that, “Please, as if you have anything to gnaw on with how skinny you are are,”
A quiet smile touched Sukuna’s lips as he moved to casually put himself between Yuuji and where he had hid the body, “Guess it was just that hungry, or perhaps it was just on a lean diet,”
Yuuji relaxed, content at least with Sukuna’s answer and never once darting eyes to where the body was hidden away. It had Sukuna letting out a sigh of relief.
Such things still upset Yuuji despite how often they had seen death at this point. He was forever a bleeding heart, still so innocent about things, and Sukuna found he would rather keep things that way. If Yuuji could keep smiling, then Sukuna was willing to ignore the plights of the living and dead.
So the body would be left to rot and Yuuji would never know.
And all was as it should be as far as Sukuna was concerned.
“Shall we head back home then? I’m sure Zazshu will be eager to see you,” Sukuna said with a tilt of his head.
“His name is Ahoto and you know it!” Yuuji huffed back.
“Oh do I now?” Sukuna said with a cheeky grin as he started to head in the direction of their home.
Yuuji rolled his eyes as he followed his partner in crime along, giving a shake of his head, “So we selling everything today or tomorrow?”
“By the time we set up across the city, it will be evening and eyes for buying will be on other things,” Sukuna said with a glance over his shoulder, “We can wait a day easily enough. The old hag on the corner predicted good weather,”
That earned a snort from Yuuji, “Her knees weren’t suffering, thus no rain?” He drawled, “I really doubt that is really a way to predict weather,”
“She hasn’t been wrong yet, has she?” Sukuna said with a wide grin, “Maybe something to it,”
“And I think you just like tormenting people by making them think you actually believe them,” Yuuji said wryly.
Sukuna chuckle, “Nothing wrong with having a laugh at some half-crazed hag’s expense,”
When the sun began to set, the city started to undress itself from the hustle and bustle of the day. Each layer the city shed revealed more of the bare naked face of the city under pale lantern light and the stars high above. More nobles came out for revelry in inns and the merchants sat bloated and happy upon their trades. The broken and poor slunk out to take the scraps they could find and the curses that had started to become more common in corners waited and watched for easy prey to stumble into reach.
All of it was a familiar place for the two boys of fifteen as they made their way to one of the larger and more popular inns in the city. They also knew it was better to be off the streets and into some manner of shelter as the night brought with it the sort of criminals who were more eager to bleed people for their coins.
The two boys barely gave the huge inn they had approached a second look, more than familiar with its towering gaudy exterior and bright showing of wealth. They skirted around to the side where piles of broken crates and discarded containers sat for pickup and the smell of old oil, rotting food, and waste scented the air with its rancid perfume.
Among the mess there was a small bark as Ahoto darted out, tail wagging quickly. Yuuji smiled and was quick to kneel down and gather the animal up in his arms, laughing as he was showered with kisses and affection which he returned in kind. Sukuna just shook his head, although couldn’t keep a slight smile off his face as he moved past the two and towards the small ladder leaned up against the side of the inn.
“Look at you good boy! All guarding the alleyway from those nasty rats and mean strays!” Yuuji praised, nuzzling into his pet which barked and licked him back.
Sukuna just snorted as he began to haul himself up the ladder, giving a slight glance back, “And look at you, still treating that dog like its your child,”
“Hey! Ahoto is as cute as any baby I might have in the future,” Yuuji retorted as he moved to tuck the dog into the front of his kimono.
As always, Ahoto kept still, use to the tradition as Yuuji began to climb up after Sukuna to the small false door near the attic of the towering inn.
Sukuna just let out another loud, long-suffering sigh, “You are so lucky we manage to find enough food or I would so eat your stupid Zasshu”
“Ahoto!” Yuuji retorted, “Get his name right or I’m sticking his butt on your face when you sleep,”
“You do that and I’m going to find the nasty rat in the city to shove in your bed,” Sukuna shot back with a wicked grin over his shoulder.
That had Yuuji grumbling and pouting, not about to tempt Sukuna as it was rare for his dearest friend to joke on such matter. The years had started to sharpen a bit of a mean streak in Sukuna which had so far served to keep them safe. Fellow street urchins might try their luck with Yuuji, but there were enough broken arms and teeth to Sukuna’s reputation that most left him well enough alone.
Sukuna shoved aside the little false door with one hand, his second pair of arms having come out to steady himself at the top of the ladder as he first shoved the crate through the opening before crawling in after it.
Finding this little place to hole up had been a fortunate turn of events for the both of them. A curse had been bothering the inn and Sukuna and Yuuji had taken care of it and made a deal with the inn owner to let them board in the cramped attic area in exchange for chasing off the curses that like to hang about the establishment and to clear out any vermin that snuck up there. No required feed or having to share food, just a space that kept a roof over their head.
The innkeeper had been more than happy to agree to such a good deal as to hire a professional and well known sorcerer often came with an exuberant fee that very few but the rich could pay.
Of course there were rules. They had to be quiet when everyone else was asleep and in the early mornings as well. However when the wild parties and rowdy noise of the inn was in full swing, the two of them could afford to make a little bit more noise.
Sukuna perched on the ledge, holding the door open for Yuuji who scrambled inside, crouching down then to let Ahoto wiggle out to prance about.
The place was cramped but they made use of the space with two sleeping mats, a small cooking pot and a few cobbled together bins to store items. A few decorations were tacked up along the walls and sloping ceilings, mostly odds and ends they had found by luck or swiped from the workers of the inn
. Sukuna carefully lit the single lantern to give some light to their small home before settling himself down in front of the cooking pot with a sigh, all four eyes open once more and stretching out all four arms.
Below, the sound of the inn were wafting up, from the laughter and loud chatter of the main hall where various nobles were entertained by dancers and musicians to the gasping sounds of pleasures as the working women of the inn applied the trade of their body. By this time, neither Sukuna and Yuuij paid such noises much mind, settling down to make their meager dinner.
Yuuji gave a pat to Ahoto and let the dog hop over to curl up on his sleeping mat as he sat back, glancing down as pleasant music came up through the thin floorboards of the attic crawlspace.
“Sounds like a big party tonight,” Yuuji commented.
“Always sounds like that,” Sukuna said with a shrug as he let the water boil to make their share of rice for the night, “No doubt in a few hours we’ll have the sounds of fake pleasure again,”
Yuuji pursed his lips, “You always say that,” he grumbled, “how do you know it is fake? Not like you’ve been with a woman,”
“You don’t have to have been with a woman to know when she is faking enjoyment,” Sukuna drawled, “Especially when you can hear them talking about it or hear them sobbing in the night when their clients leave,”
That had Yuuji falling silent as he pulled his knees to his chest, “I wonder why they cry. They have all those nice things, get fed, and get things like regular bathing,” he murmured.
“It is easy to surround yourself with wealth to try and ease the hurt that you had to sell every part of yourself until nothing is left,” Sukuna commented with a scowl, “And as soon as they get too old or they become sick, they get thrown out to crawl the streets. There is no happy ending coming for any of them. They get a moment to believe they are worth something before it is all taken away,”
Yuuji curled up a bit more.
He knew Sukuna was right. How often the two of them had laid there at night hearing the innkeeper asking one of their workers to leave asa younger slab of meat had been found to replace them. Yuuji could still remember the night one of the kinder mistresses had been tossed into the street by her noble client who cursed her out for giving him the disease of her loins and her sobbing she didn’t know she had it.
She had sat sobbing in the streets all night and Yuuji felt his heart go out to her. Come morning, she was gone and Yuuji never saw her again, but he hoped she had found some better place to be. Sukuna had scoffed at Yuuji and said she was either in the river out of her mad grief or dead from the disease that was eating her up from between her diseased legs.
Sukuna said a lot of things like that. He had even put forth the idea that it was the nobleman who was probably diseased and he gave it to her just to be able to blame someone. Such men who so generously shared their seed as if it was some blessing to the lower class were always the ones who ended up finally paying for it. It was not like there was any means of cleanliness that could find that silent, painful death that lurked in the whorehouses.
Why would anyone think that life was grand?
Yet the sounds of the entertainment, the music and dancing below, the laughter and loud conversation sounded better than the cold corners he and Sukuna inhabited alone. Even when they hung out with a few urchins here and there, no one really trusted one another and if a scrap was thrown in between them, what little friendship would dissolve over the want to get by another day.
It almost felt like the two of them were isolated to their own world, which may have been fine for Sukuna, but for Yuuji, it was starting to make him feel restless.
“Maybe one night we could go to a party,” Yuuji murmured, “Sneak into one,”
Sukuna scoffed, looking at Yuuji, “Why would you want to go to a party?”
“Seems fun with the dancing and music,” Yuuji said with a shrug, “And the food that isn’t rice mixed with the vegetable of the season,”
“At least we get rice and not millet, right?” Sukuna paused though sitting back, “And we can have our own party right here if wanted to. We have everything we need,”
“Oh really?” Yuuji drawled as he picked up his bowl of rice mixed with taro, “I don’t see any fancy dresses or beautiful dancers around,”
Sukuna gave a hum between a mouthful of his dinner before he set the bowl down and held up a finger, “Give me but a moment and I’ll summon a dancer here,”
Yuuji watched as Sukuna turned to rifle through their little drawers of trinkets before pulling out a fancy fan that Sukuna had once lifted from a noble woman on the street. With great flair, he flicked it open, raising it to cover his face save for his now open four eyes which he batted at Yuuji, “I can be your great dancer, wiggling my ass about in your face until your metal is eager for the forge of passion,”
That earned a snort from Yuuji, “You don’t even have an ass to shake Ryoumen Sukuna. It is a flat plain there. Nothing but bones. A half-starved alley cat has more to shake than you,”
“Oh please! Mine is better than yours, Yuuji!” Sukuna declared as he rose to his feet, fanning himself as he swayed to the music, throwing in a spin for dramatic effect, “Yours shrinks by the day, just like your height shrinks by the day!”
“I’m not shrinking! You just got a lucky growth spurt!” Yuuji retorted as he rose to his own feet.
He shuffled some to the beat, flailing his arms like he had seen some street performers do, “And I got the better dance moves as I actually watch the performances rather than just sneer about them!”
“You look like a scarecrow waving around like that,” Sukuna said with a snicker as he smacked Yuuji playfully on the head with his fan, “You’ll scare all the birds of the city away if you go dancing down the street like that!”
Yuuji just grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Sukuna as he shuffled forward and flailed his arms more wildly like a bird about to take off, “You are just memorized by my moves!”
“I’m more afraid you are going to take off and put a hole through the roof!” Sukuna grinned.
By then, he had slipped out his second pair of arms through the wide sleeves of his kimono, wiggling around with his fan up above his head and doing a better show of copying the movements of the dancers below. He wore a wide grin, bumping up against Yuuji and giving him a smack with a fan, earning a squeak from him.
“Hey! What was that for!?” Yuuji protested.
“For being dumb and wanting to go party with fat nobles,” Sukuna said with a tsk and toss of his head, “Such mortals are far beneath us, as the true lords of this inn,”
“Yeah well, how about this?!” Yuuji snatched the fan away from Sukuna and retaliated with a hit of his own.
Sukuna wrinkled his nose before he made a lunge for the fan, “I think I need that back to hit you a few more times!”
Yuuji danced back to try and keep it out of Sukuna’s reach, but the small space they had to call their own was too cramped to really maneuver, and with four arms, Sukuna had far more reach. A yelp escaped Yuuji as he was tackled to the ground, although he kicked and wrestled back and did all he could to hold the fan out of Sukuna’s reach.
At one point, such a feat would have been easy for Yuuji. He had always had the height advantage on Sukuna for so long. But now, with Sukuna’s growth spurt, he was reaching even more to try and keep it away, all while Sukuna was nearly grasping at it now, digging an elbow into Yuuji’s face as he did so.
“Why you-” Yuuji growled, shoving at the elbow with his free hand. He pushed and squirmed, trying in vain to get Sukuna to get off of him, “You aren’t getting taller, you are getting heavier like a prized cow!”
Sukuna grunted as he was pushed back some, fixing all four eyes on Yuuji with a glare that held no heat and a wide smirk that showed off his teeth, “Oh, now I’m a cow? I thought I was your most trusted friend!”
“Never! Betrayal was had this night!” Yuuji declared, managing to get the fan hidden underneath him, “trying to hit me with a fan!”
“You deserved it!” Sukuna laughed, flopping onto Yuuji, caging him under all four arms and bumping foreheads together, “And nothing you do will shake me off you!”
Those words were a challenge and throughout their lives, Yuuji never turned down a challenge. Whenever there was a competition to be had, Yuuji threw himself into it with every ounce of willpower he had with a desire to come out on top, no matter what. Yet now, he couldn’t just overpower Sukuna so easily. It was no simple task now to roll over and pin the other boy under him until he yelped.
In fact, Sukuna was getting stronger by the day and Yuuji could feel that now in how his friend pushed back at him, holding his own for the first time. Such realizations sparked concern, sparked a fear of losing in Yuuji, that had him relying on any crazy idea he could scramble for.
He leaned up in that moment and planted a kiss on Sukuna’s lips and the whole of the room went silent.
Both of them went still and all four of Sukuna’s eyes widened. Neither of them pulled back though, staring at each other. The music continued to play downstairs which was the only indication that time and the world itself was still rolling forward.
Yuuji cleared his throat and pulled back a bit, glancing to the side, “Well, looks like I stopped you,”
“I guess,” Sukuna murmured, looking the other way.
The silence once more stretched out between them and Yuuji couldn’t help but squirm a bit more, “So uh, guess our party is over,”
“I don’t feel like dancing anymore, that’s for sure,” Sukuna murmured, finally turning to look at Yuuji as he sat up. Those four eyes were searching Yuuji’s face a moment before he looked away, “Was it nice?”
“What was nice?” Yuuji asked as he sat up, looking at Sukuna in confusion.
“The kiss, was it nice?”
Yuuji shifted a bit but soon gave a small nod, “Yeah,” he murmured, “It was nice,”
“Could we do that again?” Sukuna asked softly.
Yuuji felt his cheeks heat up as he looked at Sukuna. He could feel his heart beating in his chest like it was trying to batter its way through his rib cage. He swallowed hard, looking down at his hands, “Well, I mean, we could do that again, but are boys suppose to kiss like this?”
“I saw some do it, like two girls or two boys before,” Sukuna murmured, shuffling closer, “The courtesans kiss each other a lot,”
“That is true,” Yuuji squirmed some before he screwed up his face into a look of determination and snapped his gaze up to meet Sukuna’s, “Okay! We can kiss again then!”
He leaned in, lips puckered and eyes closed tight and Sukuna let out a snort, putting his hand over Yuuji’s face, “Don’t kiss me like a fish, you brat!”
“I wasn’t! I was kissing you normally!” Yuuji protested.
Sukuna sighed, rolling all four eyes before two of his hands came up to cup Yuuji’s face, the other two moving to hold onto Yuuji’s hands, “You have to kiss like you did before. Like this,”
He leaned in, hesitating a moment before he planted a kiss upon Yuuji’s lips. This time the kiss was different. It was an awkward thing, an innocent thing. Both of them were red in the face, mortified and thrilled all at once as they shared a second kiss with more intent than before.
It made Yuuji remember how he used to giggle alongside Sukuna when they caught people kissing in the temple so long ago. Both of them always loud in declaring they would never do such a weird and gross thing like kissing someone like that. They had both laughed heartily in their innocent piety in those days.
Now though, it didn’t feel like such a laughing matter with how he felt a wave of new emotions, confusing and rolled up in budding adulthood. They pulled apart from that kiss, both looking at the other with shy glances and Yuuji found his hands curling more into Sukuna’s own.
“I think I like you,” Yuuji murmured, “A lot I mean. I like you a lot,”
“Me too,” Sukuna said softly with a bashful smile, “I think I’ve always liked you,”
Because neither of them wanted to say love when such a thing still seemed too huge and too soon to grasp onto.
“Maybe tomorrow, we can split an apple for breakfast before selling the rest,” Yuuji said with a small smile and glance up, “Find some place to watch the sunrise if the weather is good,”
“If you can wake up that early,” Sukuna teased lightly.
The music was finally coming to an end below their feet and the familiar sounds of the shuffling of staff began to emerge. The servants were cleaning up and the working whores were taking their clients to bed for a different kind of song of the night. Such was a time that the two knew they had to quiet themselves.
Yuuji and Sukuna moved to roll out their beds, next to each other as always, and cuddle in close for warmth. This time though, two arms wrapped their way about Yuuji to hold him close and he in turn nestled up against Sukuna’s chest with a blush.
It wasn’t new territory, but it felt different now. Those two shy kisses had changed things between them, like the falling of small stones that was about to turn into a confusing avalanche of emotions to come.
“Goodnight Sukuna,” Yuuji whispered.
“Night Yuuji,” Sukuna murmured back.
----
The dawn always came with a dull silence that was interrupted only by the gloomy toll of the temple bells from within their high walls. The sound of it though was familiar enough that it always drew Yuuji and Sukuna from their rest. Laying there, eyes fixed on the ceiling, Yuuji could already tell the sun was to be shy that day as the pinpricks of morning light were not coming and the air had a heaviness to it that threatened rain at some point.
He was aware of Sukuna being awake beside him, although as ever, he was never the first to move, as if hopeful that for once, Yuuji remain still and they could sleep in.
Such things were never to be with Yuuji though and soon he was sitting up as he wiggled out of Sukuna’s grip, “might be a hard sell today,” he commented, “The hag might be wrong today,”
“Doesn’t mean it is going to rain, just because it is cloudy,” Sukuna murmured before letting out a sigh, “But if you are worried, we can set out early this morning to see if we can’t sucker a few fools to buy stolen fruit. Although, this does mean we won’t be able to watch the sunrise as you wanted,”
Yuuji’s cheeks colored pink but he merely gave a shake of his head, “It would be a stupid sunrise anyways today. No sun with all the clouds! I want to wait for the best sunrise with you,”
“And when will you know it is there?” Sukuna asked with a chuckle as he sat up with a stretch.
“I’ll know,” Yuuji said as he crossed his arms, “I’ll know the exact sunrise that we will enjoy together, like it was made just for us! All the right colors, the right place, the right time, and when it comes, you’ll want to kiss me so passionately! Like it is the last time you’ll ever get to kiss me!”
Sukuna snorted, “Sounds like you’ve been listening too much to that stupid romantic poetry,”
The four-armed boy stretched out before sliding his bottom arms into his kimono, crossing them tight as he tied it closed, “We can skip breakfast, get the sales done, then settle for a bigger lunch,”
“You sure you won’t be so hungry you eat the wares?” Yuuji teased.
Sukuna rolled all four of his eyes as he reached over to prod Yuuji in the stomach, “I may have the mouth on my stomach, but you are the real bottomless pit that eats everything,”
“Am not!”
Sukuna didn’t bother to get into a silly little match about who was the true glutton and instead, rose to his feet to gather up their stolen wares from yesterday and move to the little door that led out, “Come on, we are wasting time,”
The two of them knew the city by heart for how long they had roamed the streets. They knew all the short cuts to get from one end to the other and what places to avoid. They picked their way along the not quiet alleys where houses slumped together in the poorer places and the holes in garden walls that let them sneak through the compounds of sleeping lesser nobles. The far side of the city was a little more cleaner, a little more put together. The homes here a bit more grand even if the merchants that dwelt there were treated little better than peasants despite what money they drew in.
It was also here that the young scholars of the nation, men of supposed wisdom and intelligence were the most easily duped into buying stolen fruits. It was so simple to get the wide-eyed, poetic fools to want to taste some fruit if a fanciful tale was woven about it and Sukuna prided himself on his silver tongue and way with words. Yuuji may have been the earnest idiot who could manage to sell a few with his chipper mood and bright smile, but it was Sukuna who could make those scholars lean in with bated breath, thinking they were buying some fruit that was divinely blessed and would give them fortune in their studies.
The gloomy morning hung over everything, but the rain kept its distance long enough for Yuuji and Sukuna to sell off their wares to the flood of early morning scholars. By the late morning, they had traded pockets of apples for pockets of coins and were more than a little flushed with their victory as they made the trek back to their home.
“We should buy something sweet,” Yuuji said with a grin, “Like a sweet dumpling the size of my head!”
“And then watch you get a stomach ache and act like you are dying for two days after,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “I know you well enough you should avoid your sweet tooth,”
“Maybe just a small one then?” Yuuji whined as he tugged on the sleeve of Sukuna’s kimono, “A tiny little taste?”
Sukuna chuckled, reaching out to ruffle the other boy’s hair, “If we see something good maybe,”
The two ducked into one of the alleys that took them off the main street and cut a few minutes off their walk home. There was no one out save a few of their fellow urchins scampering about and going through trash for morsels and a few of the older beggars taking a break to count out their gains.
Nothing out of the ordinary for this path, save a commotion of some of the smaller street children clambering in a small herd after a few older ones down one of the connecting alleyways and into an area of shops. Sukuna paused, lifting an eyebrow as Yuuji peered curiously around him at the sight.
“What’s got the pack all up in arms,” Sukuna drawled.
“Maybe they got a good score of something or something spilled out?” Yuuji said, starting to head that way.
Sukuna frowned, a bit more cautious as he followed after Yuuji, “Even so, the shops here aren’t an easy pick. The guards patrol here heavily and aren’t above cracking skulls,”
That had been a lesson both of them had learned when the old group they had run with when first in the city had gotten too greedy. Yuuji shuddered, remembering the poor girl who had been beaten to a twitching pulp in the street.
“Must be worth the risk then,” Yuuji murmured, although his pace slowed, “We should at least take a look,”
“Just a look, “Sukuna agreed.
The two of them made their way down to the near end of the alleyway, only pausing as they saw the swarm of children at the backdoor of one of the shops. A man, or woman, it was hard to say, stood there, face covered save for the eyes and handing out little candies to the clamoring horde.
“Oh, aren’t you all a rowdy bunch! A lot of potential in all of you, but a shame you ended up here!” the strangely altruistic shopkeeper said with a low coo meant to sound comforting but sent a chill of unease up Yuuji’s spine as he watched, “Be patient, I have enough for all of you to try my latest recipe!”
Little hands reached imploring for more, the pack, as Sukuna called them, pushing and shoving to get to the front. The smaller ones climbed between legs to do so with dirt caked cheeks and wide smiles. The whole scene seemed innocent enough, but something about it had Yuuji on edge though and he couldn’t help a frown even as Sukuna nudged him, “Surprised you aren’t fighting your way to the front for a free sweet,”
“They don’t look good. Rather get something from the usual place,” Yuuji commented idly.
Sukuna gave a hum, eyes narrowing a touch, “For once you are thinking with your head, not your stomach,”
Yuuji shifted a bit, glancing to his companion, “Do you feel like, something isn’t right?”
“No one gives away so much free treats to street urchins like us and his energy,” Sukuna paused in thought before moving to grab onto Yuuji’s hand and tug him along, “Let’s go,”
The two skirted around the back of the noisy pack, their eyes ahead as they knew it better to avoid eye contact with those that seemed to have something dangerous about them. The strange shopkeeper passing out the treats paused though, their sharp eyes darting up to the two. Yuuji felt a chill up his spine as those eyes regarded them so carefully, like someone trying to pick out good livestock.
“Why, such a pair you make! Would you care to try out my new recipe? I want to get reviews on it before I put it on the market,” The shopkeeper said with a far too friendly voice, “Made fresh!”
“We’ll pass,” Sukuna said coldly, eyes narrowing, “Let the idiots have it,”
The stranger regarded them more closely before letting out a chuckle, “Well then, that’s a first. Not so quick to take handouts?”
Sukuna just gave a cold scowl in response as he kept walking, pulling Yuuji along and putting himself between the stranger and Yuuji like a protective dog. The stranger only chuckled, straightening up and resting the nearly empty basket on their hip.
“Well, if you two boys ever need a job, do come around?” the stranger said cheerfully, “Just ask for Kenjaku. I’ll be sure to put two such promising and talented boys to work in the studies I field,”
Sukuna just lifted one hand and extended two fingers before making a cutting motion, causing the awning above the door to come loose from the building and crash down onto the crowd of children, making them yelp. Kenjaku jumped back to avoid the incident, but their eyes held a spark of amusement, almost of an eager sort as they watched the two boys turn the corner in the alleyway.
“That was rude Sukuna,” Yuuji grumbled.
“I don’t like how he looked at us,” Sukuna commented, although it was more he hated how Kenjaku had looked at Yuuji.
Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes, “You are so testy sometimes,”
“And sometimes people who feel like a sorcerer with good intentions are looking for some idiots to rip apart,” Sukuna retorted.
That caused Yuuji to blink, “A sorcerer?”
“Why do you think he felt off?” Sukuna growled, “He was leaking cursed energy,”
Yuuji gave a small glance behind them before he shifted closer to Sukuna, “You think he did something to that candy?” He asked quietly.
Sukuna gave Yuuji a glance before looking ahead, “I guess it depends on if we see the pack around later,”
The two of them set out to the shops to spend their money on food, a treat for Yuuji, and a few more blankets for the cooler times of year. They criss-crossed the city a few times, busy as ever when it came to spending quickly the money they had on the items needed for survival. There was little point in saving when their lives balanced on one wrong move at any given time.
Yuuji kept an eye out for the pack rolling about, following after the older ones who had banded them together for survival in the backstreets like a pack of ravenous dogs. Usually they would be out about this time, faking injuries to beg on corners or working together to try and swipe some vegetables or poke holes in rice bags and catch whatever poured out as the bags were dragged into inns and noble compounds.
The streets remained quiet and there was a sense of loss that hung heavy like the clouds above them. For a moment Yuuji paused, looking down one dirty roadway to where the usual rat nest of a home was for the pack, now empty and already being picked through by other beggars and urchins.
Like vultures to a corpse.
It made Yuuji shiver, but he didn’t speak of it with Sukuna.
They never talked about who went missing or made speculations. There wasn’t a point to it other than a reminder of how close they always flirted with their own deaths living on the streets.
The two of them found their way home just as the evening began to fall again and the clamor of the inn grew louder. Yuuji paused at the ladder leading to their room as he handed items up to Sukuna, “Going to stay down here a bit. Play with Ahoto and let him do his business,” he said, “Unless you want the sweet scent of turds in the room,”
Sukuna scoffed as he heaved the new blankets up and tucked them into their room, “Very well, but be back up quickly, I know it doesn’t take long for your mutt to shit himself a turd longer than his body,”
Yuuji gave a shrug, shuffling his feet and glancing out towards the front of the inn, “Well, you know, it might take a while. Like, maybe a long time. He might be like, super stuck up there tonight,”
He felt a flush touches his cheeks as Sukuna stared hard at him, now with all four eyes. He squirmed under that gaze and winced as he heard the other boy let out a long-suffering sigh, “Oh, I know what you mean,” Sukuna drawled, “You are going to sit in front of the inn, like a fool, and pretend you are somehow part of the party, aren’t you? Playing your little game of hoping that some noble might invite you inn because he feels bad for you?”
“Not an idiot! I just can hear the music better from down here!” Yuuji retorted with a frown, “I just want to hear it. Some famous musician is suppose to play tonight,”
“By famous, you mean the innkeeper embellished the skills of his cousin or something again,” Sukuna leaned out the door, looking down at Yuuji, “You can hear that shrieking fine from up here. Besides, the only thing a noble would want you for is a good time,”
Yuuji let out a frustrated sigh, giving Sukuna a withering look, “I’ll be up in a bit, okay? Just get dinner going,”
Sukuna shook his head, “You are lucky I like you or I would make and eat all the dinner myself,” he paused before flashing a wicked smirk, “And maybe I will eat all the dinner if you aren’t up here in about half an hour,”
“Yeah yeah, I won’t be that long,” Yuuji grumbled as he gave a pat to Ahoto and began to walk around to the front of the inn.
It was not uncommon for Yuuji to sit out front. There was a small worn bench used by travelers staying at the inn to take a load off their tired feet while they sorted out their arrangements to stay. At night it was mostly forgotten as the noble visitors were quick to enter from their carriages to enjoy the delights offered. Yuuji sat on that bench, listening to the music which, despite Sukuna’s insistence, was so much clearer here than up in their crowded hole in the wall room. He also got to look at the dazzling nobles in their expensive clothes and admire how prettily the women and men of the evening dressed up with carefully painted faces as they hung off the arm of their clients.
It felt like watching another world drift by, like some fantastical story playing out before Yuuji’s eyes. He idly pet Ahoto, the animal all but happy to lean into that touch with happy whines. Whenever Yuuji stopped, the scrappy dog would paw insistently at Yuuji’s leg until he started to pet it again behind the ears. The little display never failed to bring a smile to Yuuji’s face as he sat there, listening to the music and his stomach rumbled at the smell of the dazzling feast that was going on within.
He could practically taste the game bird that probably had been brought in and drizzled with some sort of foreign sweet sauce.
Yuuji barely glanced up as the door to the inn open and the portly tavern keeper came out. It wasn’t unusual for the innkeeper to come out to wait hand and foot for an affluence patron as a means to try and charm said noble into becoming a regular. However, this time the innkeeper’s gaze fell upon Yuuji, eyes brightening a touch as he shuffled over, hands rubbing together as if finding a lucky find.
“Ah, sitting out here again, are we?” He said, tone pleasant and a smile stretching across his features.
Yuuji jolted, looking up and then away with a flush, “I’ll uh, leave if I’m disturbing your guests,” he murmured.
“Actually the contrary!” The innkeeper said, clamping a hand on Yuuji’s shoulder, perhaps a touch too tight, “One of our patron spotted you outside and had to remark you had a real beauty about you and wants you to join his party!”
Yuuji blinked, “Wants me to join his party?”
He couldn’t keep the hope out of his voice as he looked up at the innkeeper. It felt like a weird dream come true, even more so when Sukuna was teasing him that such a thing never would happen. It almost made Yuuji want to run back and shout at Sukuna that he had, in fact, been invited in, but the innkeeper kept a tight hand on Yuuji’s shoulder and was already pulling him along to the front door.
“Of course! I did say that, didn’t I?” the innkeeper said in that pleasant voice, although there was a tinge of urgency underneath, “But we can’t have you going into the party looking like a mess! Come! Let’s clean you up a bit. After all, you have to look pretty!”
“I do?” Yuuji asked, blinking in confusion.
“All things are pretty in a party,” The innkeeper said quickly, “And ah, I don’t suppose you have been with anyone?”
“I kissed someone once,” Yuuji said, puffing up a bit proudly and blushing as he remembered the gentle kisses he shared with Sukuna.
The innkeeper’s grin grew even wider, as if he was already counting out a prize in his head, “Most wonderful! You’ll be perfect tonight boy! Perfect!”
Yuuji just nodded as he was led in through that bright doorway and feeling like he was stepping into a dream. He didn’t even notice how Ahoto whined and tucked down, teeth bared in nerves as he watched his master be spirited off into the brilliant belly of the inn.
For Yuuji, it all felt so sudden and rushed. One moment he was sitting outside the bench, the next he was hurriedly scrubbed, covered in some perfumes and shoved into an old second-hand silk kimono that was finer than anything Yuuji had ever worn before despite its faded colors and frayed edges. He came staggering into the main hall, feeling eyes upon him as he ducked his head, and feeling sorely out of place. Some nervous fear was starting to creep up as he was ushered over to the grand table and put down beside an older noble man, face bushy with facial hair and an approving grin as he looked Yuuji over.
“Ah, so the little street rose does dress up nicely,” He said before turning to the other nobles at the table, raising a cup, “I say a toast to my eye for beauty, yes?”
“An eye for little untouched things,” one of the women said amused, “Oh how your wife must weep to herself in her chambers with your heir in her belly as you take your pleasures elsewhere,”
Yuuji shifted some, “Um, can I ask why I’m here?”
“Here to enjoy a feast!” The noble said, hand falling to Yuuji’s shoulder, “I was feeling generous and such a sad face as yours deserves a little feast,”
He gestured then to the expanse of food on the table and Yuuji couldn’t help how his stomach rumbled and his mouth watered.
The innkeeper was at Yuuji’s side, pressing a cup of sake into his hand and patting him on the back, “Time to drink and make merry boy! Eat your fill!”
Yuuji just smiled and drank the stuff, gagging on the taste and blushing as the nobles at the table laughed. They sneered and joked about him at his expense, but he merely laughed along, just so eager to be apart of this, even if he felt like everyone was watching him as he ate with no attention to proper manners. The good food sat heavy in his stomach with each bite and the drink was put in front of him again and again until he felt the whole world starting to spin and the taste of the drink began to have a strange bitter taste to it.
The music felt too loud and fast then. The dancers a blur of colors that melded into the faces of laughing nobles that watched him stagger. The eagerness and excitement of being here started to sour and Yuuji felt a trickle of unease fill his foggy mind as he tried to get to his feet, finding his legs were strangers now to his thoughts.
In that moment, all he wanted was to go home.
“I...I got to go. Sukuna...” Yuuji slurred out, trying to form words.
The innkeeper just smiled, an arm about him, “I already told him where you are!” he said.
Yuuji knew that was a lie. If he had told Sukuna, then Sukuna would be here.
Sukuna would be here to take him home and probably curse out every noble there, calling them a hundred awful names and cutting slashes into their kimonos like the feral ball of protective rage that he always was with Yuuji.
If Sukuna was here, Yuuji would feel safe rather than the fear that was having him tremble from head to toe.
The innkeeper had wrapped an arm about Yuuji towards the door, the nobleman slinking behind them with one hand on Yuuji’s shoulder, giving small squeezes like a farmer feeling out a prized pig that they had purchased.
“You are making me a fortune tonight, boy,” the innkeeper said happily, “Never got your name, but oh, maybe when you get back, we can see about letting you live here! Seems your face is one that will bring in some rich clients, oh yes,”
Yuuji tried to squirm away, but his whole body felt heavy. He made a sound of protest, a faint attempt to turn away as he was led to a carriage. He tried dragging his feet but it was little use as a pair of servants moved to bodily pick him up and toss him unceremoniously into the carriage. The noble paused briefly to hand over a payment of coins to the greedy innkeeper who took it all without even a glance to where Yuuji skittered to press against the far side of the carriage, trying to paw for some way out. The noble just smirked, a feral and frightful grin, and stepped into the carriage. The way he smiled made Yuuji’s skin crawl. He reached over, cupping Yuuji’s face before grabbing onto it when the boy tried to look away.
“Such a pretty thing to be in the gutter,” The noble murmured, “Such a pretty thing,”
Yuuji felt his stomach roll with the movement of the carriage as the noble moved in closer, the hawk making his lethal dive in for the prize he wanted.
Yuuji managed a pitiful sound before his memories blacked out from the abundance of liquor and sweet poisons burning in his veins. In his mind though, he was screaming for Sukuna to come.
But Sukuna wouldn’t come.
Sukuna was rather cross with Yuuji as he stared at the door to their home, waiting for his fool of a companion to make his way back.
The four-armed boy was stretched out on the new blankets scowling, glaring at the pot of cooling rice that he had made for their dinner, even slicing up a few vegetables to make it a bit more hearty than usual. He had given Yuuji half an hour, but that time had come and went and now approached more towards the hour.
He wasn’t in the mood to eat alone, despite his earlier threat and soon he roused himself and slunk to the door of their home to peer out.
He leaned against the edge of the door to look out into the night, and gave a searching glance about but saw no sign of Yuuji making him grind out a sigh, “Ugh, if he started flirting with one of those stupid whores to try and get some makeup off them again, I’m going to put my foot up his ass,”
He slid down the ladder and came around to the front of the inn, scowling with hands on his hips. A carriage had just rolled away and more of the guests were starting to wander out into the night, laughing and making merry. Yet in all that, the bench where Yuuji usually was remained empty.
Empty save the cowering dog below it, whimpering and tucked in a tight ball. At the sight of Sukuna though, Ahoto came darting up, whining and pawing up at the boy. Sukuna huffed, crouching down to ruffle the dog behind his ears, “What has gotten into you? Where is your dolt of a master?”
The dog turned its head with a whine towards where the carriage had left and started to yip, prancing away and looking back at Sukuna before darting over with another bark and whine, paws scrambling at Sukuna.
“Why would he go that way?” Sukuna grumbled, feeling worry creep up his spine as he started to follow Ahoto, “That isn’t like him to wander off, even if he is a stupid brat,”
Because for how much of an idiot Yuuji was, he wasn’t so brash as to go about the streets at night. The place was dangerous then and the more unsavory members of the street came out to ply their trade. But the mutt knew his master well and in the past, had always been able to lead Sukuna right to where his companion was meandering about.
This time though, something in Sukuna’s heart told him things were wrong.
Very wrong.
The night was thick around Sukuna as he followed the dog along the streets. Everything felt more empty than it should of and it felt like there were fewer lights out. A stiff wind was moving through the streets, howling in the eaves of houses and Sukuna only felt his worry spike up more as the dog led him further from home. At one point, he wanted to just go back, wait for Yuuji to come home from wherever he had gone. That there was no way Yuuji had wandered this far away on his own.
How had he even gotten this far anyways?
The sky above seemed to drop in closer, the clouds low as they finally began to spill open, adding small drip of rain upon the darkened streets. Sukuna just scowled, cursing his own luck as he hunched his shoulders, “I swear, when I find him, I’m going to strangle him,” Sukuna growled as he pulled the hem of his kimono up some and over his head in a vain effort to keep the rain off him, “Going to make him sleep outside for this!”
He continued after Ahoto who padded along, tail lifted anxiously before the dog paused, still for a moment before rushing forward towards the lavish compound of one of the richer nobles of the kingdom. Sukuna blinked before he chased after the dog with a hiss, now moving to try to catch it as he started to try and crawl up into the carriage that sat outside the compound, tucked into a small shelter.
“What is wrong with you!? You trying to get me in trouble?” Sukuna snapped.
He knew the sigil well enough. The noble who owned this place held favor with the emperor and was a close confident of his. Some high and learned man, so it was said, who held himself like a god among men and the emperor as the only one truly worthy of his company.
Nothing that Sukuna cared about. Every noble started to bleed into the other and only their family symbols were of note so to know who to avoid.
Especially now as Ahoto was pawing at the carriage more with a whine and near howl that had Sukuna hurrying over to hush the stupid thing.
“Why would he be in there?” Sukuna grumbled as he picked up the dog, holding it to his chest as it squirmed, “He has no business being around some scummy noble,”
Ahoto only continued to whine and kick his paws out at the carriage.
Sukuna gave a glance around with a sigh, checking for servants before he dared to peel back the cloth of the carriage to look inside. There was nothing in there save a discarded silk kimono and a stench of sake. Sukuna wrinkled his nose as he stepped back from it and looked down at the whimpering dog.
“I don’t see him here,” Sukuna growled, “If you dragged me all the way out here-”
There was a clank at the servant’s door and Sukuna jumped before ducking out of sight around a corner, clutching Ahoto to his chest with his lower arms. The dog stubbornly squirmed and tried to escape, whining and making a fuss as a pair of servants stepped out. The rain was coming down a bit harder then, at least masking the fussing of Ahoto as Sukuna peaked about the corner with a frown.
One of the servants hurried to the carriage to retrieve the kimono, shaking their head, “What a mess,” they grumbled.
“It is wise to push this one out? He looks ill,” the other servant said from the doorway, hands about some other figure just out of sight.
“The master said toss him out. He’s been used up. Guess he was no fun when he was crying the whole time,” the servant said, stepping back in.
There was a bit more rustling and commotion before the two servants grabbed onto whoever else was there and with a heave, tossed someone out the door.
The figured staggered, nearly dropping to their knees. The kimono hadn’t been put on them so much as slung about their trembling shoulders. A pitiful whimper escaped whoever it was as they started to stagger about, like a bird that had had its wings clipped and unable to figure out what direction to even go. The rain and darkness masked them and Sukuna’s eyes narrowed, feeling a cold pit start to open up in his stomach.
Ahoto squirmed, finally slipping out of his grasp but did not run to the carriage. Instead, the dog ran up to the figure whimpering and nudging at the legs of the figure who could barely hold themselves up, their head finally lifting and in the low light of the house lights, Sukuna could finally see their face.
Sukuna’s eyes widened and he felt his heart fall into his stomach. His entire body went cold as he stepped out, trembling himself as he moved over to the figure.
“Yuuji!”
The figured looked up, red ringed honey eyes met Sukuna’s blue ones. His face was bruised and makeup smeared. Rough bites could be seen on his neck and along what skin peaked out from the kimono he had been swaddled in.
Yuuji sniffled, unfocused eyes trying in vain to focus on the boy that held him up, “Sukuna…?”
“What are you doing out here?” Sukuna asked, voice soft, trembling as he bundled Yuuji close into a tight hug.
“I...I don’t know. Don’t remember,” Yuuji slurred, “Just...just everything hurts. Everything hurts Sukuna,”
Something about those words had Sukuna tensing up more, both pair of arms coming out to hug Yuuji tight to him, “What do you mean?” he asked, “Yuuji?”
“Everything hurts Sukuna,” Yuuji repeated, eyes unfocused, “I...I want to go home.”
Sukuna pulled back just enough to look at Yuuji’s face, feeling a twist of hurt in his chest for how broken his usually cheerful companion was. His eyes were so dull with the liquor and something else.
Something twisted in Sukuna roiled and he felt a slow simmer of anger starting to kindle deep inside him.
“All right,” Sukuna said softly, “I’ll take you home. Things are fine now,”
Such gentle lies as Sukuna knew already that things were not fine at all.
He had to carry Yuuji back to their home as the other boy couldn’t walk barely at all. Several times they had to stop for Yuuji to throw up, trembling and whimpering as he clutched at his stomach. Then Yuuji had passed out, although that was more a relief for Yuuji than it was for Sukuna.
In the light of the single lantern of their home with Yuuji laid out on their bed, the full story was more than easy to piece together. The bruises and gashes spoke of a vicious cruelty and there was blood between Yuuji’s legs, staining his thighs that had Sukuna trembling and feeling so helpless as to what to do. All he could do was tend to Yuuji, cleaning him up and bundling him into dry clothes and to bed on his side.
Sukuna kept close, one hand on Yuuji’s back to gently rub it, another hand carding fingers through Yuuji’s hair in some attempt to comfort his friend, the one person he cared about, and sooth away all the demons of that night. Yuuji at least slept quietly and relaxed.
Sukuna though did not sleep. He couldn’t sleep. He sat there, staring out the door of their little home at the pouring rain, grinding his teeth and baring them in a malicious snarl.
The only gentleness in Sukuna that night was in the fingers combing through Yuuji’s hair to keep him soothed in his sleep.
Everything else in Sukuna was a raw feeling of shame, hatred at himself and the noble who did this. He felt hatred for the innkeeper who no doubt had a part to play in this whole thing as the greedy bastard was not above making a deal no matter who he had to bring in to entertain a client.
Sukuna felt helpless and as if he had let Yuuji down so utterly and broken his word to protect him and take care of him. That feeling poured over the rage like oil, boiling it hotter and hotter inside of him and all he could do in that moment was sit and let the various devious plots turn over in his head, each one more vicious than the last.
The night passed so slowly as he let the threads of his vengeance slowly come together.
He couldn’t stop this from happening, he wasn’t there for Yuuji.
But he would make sure none of them would ever be able to hurt what was his again.
The morning came slowly, although the colors of it were dull, still tinged by a drizzle, although the sun was starting to burn its way through the haze. Sukuna watched it from where he sat, Yuuji’s head still in his lap, fingers still combing absentmindedly through his companion’s hair.
When Yuuji began to awake with a low groan, Sukuna’s gaze snapped down to him and the sinister, cold look fell away to something tinge with honest worry, “Yuuji?”
“Sukuna?” Yuuji murmured groggily, “Ugh, why does my head hurt so much?”
“You fell off the ladder and hit your head and went unconscious,” Sukuna said dully, “I brought you up to rest. I was worried sick you wouldn’t wake up,”
Yuuji grimaced, rubbing his head, “Really? Last thing I remember was the innkeeper inviting me in,”
“And I told him if he dared to try and lure you in to be one of his whores, I would disembowel him myself,”
Yuuji blinked, glancing to Sukuna in alarm at the venom and pure hatred laced in every word, “Sukuna?”
Sukuna took a steadying breath and plastered a fake smile across his face as he reached out to stroke Yuuji’s hair, “Just rest today. You really hurt yourself,” he said softly, “And I have a lot to do today. I have a rare opportunity I just can’t miss,”
Yuuji blinked before moving to try and sit up, “I can-”
“rest,” Sukuna said, tone firmer now and laced with a hint of something that made Yuuji shrink back, “I’ll run the usual chores,”
Yuuji hesitated before nodding, “All right,” he murmured, “If you say so,”
Sukuna gave him a smile, leaning in to press a kiss to Yuuji’s forehead and grateful that Yuuji’s memories were blissfully blank from whatever horror he suffered last night. Either repressed or lost in the black out of alcohol. Whatever the reason, Yuuji didn’t remember.
And Yuuji would never know what happened if Sukuna had his way.
“I’ll be back later,” Sukuna promised, “I might be late getting back. I have some business to handle tonight that may bring us some fortune,”
“All right,” Yuuji paused, shifting some, “Could you bring Ahoto up here?”
“I’ll bring him up here before I go,” Sukuna promised with that false smile, “Just rest,”
Yuuji nodded, pausing a moment as he looked to Sukuna, “You aren’t going to get into anything dangerous, right?”
Sukuna just smiled as he moved to descend the ladder, although the smile never reached his eyes as something colder, more hateful had settled into his gaze then, “Nothing I can’t handle,” was all he said before giving a wink and descending to the ground.
He did as promised. He brought Ahoto up for Yuuji and made sure the other boy was tucked in and comfortable with warm food to have for breakfast and some nice tea.
It was only then that Sukuna made his move as the low light of morning was starting to crest more fully over the mountains.
Sukuna already knew what he was going to do today.
He had all night to put together his hateful, vicious plan and something in him was almost excited to see it come to fruition in every fine detail, like an unfolding work of art yet to be born.
Sukuna lingered at the back entrance of the inn, waiting until the servants started to come out for the usual deliveries that came from the market in the early morning. It was almost too easy to slip right past them and into the inn. He and Yuuji had done it on several occasions to shave a few inches of rice off the top of the bags before anyone noticed.
However, he didn’t make his way to the kitchen, instead taking the servant stairs up into the rotten core of the inn and into the hallowed hallways where the sleeping whores were kept in their gilded cages. Sukuna carefully edged one of the doors open to steal into one of the rooms, ignoring the loud snoring of the occupying tenant, although he shot the woman a sneer as she lay draped half naked over her bed.
He moved over to her closet, carefully examining the many fine silk kimonos there, all folded and pristine still. After looking over a few, he found himself drawn to a white one with red cranes adorned along it with red trim and comfortably wide sleeves. Then it was to her vanity to take up the heavy box of makeup and brushes before quietly leaving the room.
No one was up yet but Sukuna kept his steps light, holding his breath as he made his way to the grand doors at the end of the hall that led to the rooms of the innkeeper.
Sukuna didn’t bother knocking and he knew the door was kept unlock. It was easy to slip inside and shut the latch behind him as he took in the scene before him.
The hatred in Sukuna’s soul rose to a snarl inside him as he beheld the fat fool was snoring away without a care in the world, unaware of his unwanted intruder. Sukuna could have laughed.
Instead, he only smirked and drifted silently past the man as if the room belonged to him and not the sleeping innkeeper. Sukuna put down the kimono and make-up on the beautiful vanity that adorned one side of the room and he paused a moment as he caught his reflection in the large ornate mirror above it.
It was the first time in a long time he could see his own face. The last time had been gawking at his distorted reflection alongside Yuuji in the silver offering dishes of the temple when he had been all round cheeks and as small as a rabbit.
It was easy to see now though that he had grown up for sure, the boyish wide-eyed look replaced with far sharper edges and a stronger set jaw. Little was left of the pudgy cheeks, now set by higher cheekbones that gave him a distinguished, almost royal look. In a few years, no doubt he would be turning heads and Sukuna almost marveled at how much he had changed and how little he looked like Yuuji despite their similar shade of hair.
Sukuna let out a hum, looking at himself a few moments more before turning from his reflection to look back at the sleeping innkeeper. A vicious grin split his face, all teeth and without a hint of mercy as he moved towards the linens chest in the room. There were so many silk sheets, more than any man would need. Every day they were changed for fresh ones and the material felt soft against Sukuna’s fingers as he twisted them into a rope. Delicately he twisted the end into a noose which he draped like a scarf about the sleeping man’s neck giving a little tug to test it.
Then with flourish, he threw the other end up over the beam until the end trailed back down to Sukuna’s grasp, although he made no move to pull. Not yet. Not when some part of him wanted to savor this whole thing.
Sukuna felt almost giddy as he trailed the end of his macabre rope to the vanity, setting it just to the side of it before he stripped out of his clothes and picked up a cloth to dip in a basin of water that had been left out the night before. Slowly, Sukuna began to wash himself, cleaning off the grim of the streets with measured movements, not minding the chill of the water. Like a monk cleansing himself for a holy ceremony to come, Sukuna too his time, all while the innkeeper slept behind him, unaware of the danger that had slunk into his chambers.
There was no rush to wake the man. Even if Sukuna was impatient to have his revenge, some part of him was enjoying the anticipation of what was to come. It felt as if something had been set lose in him, something that had been so eager to get out and stretch after so long of him tamping it down to hide it from Yuuji.
Sukuna gave a glance to the mirror, flashing his reflection a grin, all teeth before he rose to his feet. He dressed himself carefully in the stolen silk kimono and took his time to adjust it as needed so it set right about his body. With an almost giddy grin, he stood and turned this way and that, humming as he noticed how it fit him well. Really the female kimonos always fit him better given his four arms, and they were often done in prettier shades and designs.
Sukuna tucked his second pair of arms within the confines of his kimono, making sure they set about just right to give the impression of more rounded hips. He could almost chuckle to himself as he imagined how a noble might see him as a lovely treat to unwrap delicately, unaware of the animosity beneath.
He moved to take a seat then, leaning forward on his elbows as he picked through the makeup for the right shades to use when he heard the innkeeper snort. The man’s eyes fluttered open groggily and he moved to sit up. For a moment, the man sat in confusion, watching as Sukuna disregarded him and continued to pick through the makeups as if he wasn’t the intruder to the room.
Then the man jolted a bit, eyes wide as he realized the stranger in his room.
“What, what are you-”
“Good morning,” Sukuna said with an almost cheerful lift to the corner of his lips as he looked in the mirror at the stunned innkeeper.
Then with a savage glee, two of his arms shot out to grasp the end of the rope he had crafted and pulled on it hard. The silk robe easily slid along the beam, tugging upwards and tightening the noose about the innkeeper’s neck. Not enough to truly hang him, but enough to cut of f his air, strangling him.
Sukuna leaned forward, peering into the mirror, eyes flicking up to where the man struggled and flailed before back to the makeup before him, “I really don’t appreciate what you did to Yuuji,” Sukuna said casually as he picked out a brush and started to apply it to his face, softening up the contours of his face, “I’m sure that noble paid you well to deliver him into his grip, but you should have known better. I know we’ve had our differences, but I always made it clear I wasn’t the sort to be messed with, even if I am young,”
The main gurgled something out, tears in his eyes as he struggled with every breath. He was hanging, dying ever slowly of suffixation, and Sukuna was lapping it up eagerly. Some part of him all too excited to watch his plan play out.
“I won’t let you hurt Yuuji again,” Sukuna said, words clipped, “Whoever takes over this inn next, well, I hope, for their sake, they learn that lesson,”
The hand on the rope gave a harder tug as Sukuna let out a hum, lifting a brush to paint over his lips, enjoying how the red of it made it look like he was applying blood to them, “You really were just a horrid wretch anyways. No one is going to miss you,”
The man’s eyes were rolling wildly in his skull and his mouth gaped in desperate want of air before his body shuddered. He was turning a sickly blue, tongue lulling out and eyes bulged. Sukuna almost marveled at how wide and glassy his eyes looked, just like the fish in the market. His grip on the rope remained as he leaned in to finish his makeup, smiling to himself all the while and a part of him wish Yuuji was here to help but he knew his companion would not care for the horrific murder Sukuna had done on his behalf, to make sure he was kept safe.
Sukuna inspected himself in the mirror, dragging a finger delicately at the corner of his lips to catch a small smear and wipe it away. He turned his head one way and then the other, casting a fake pout.
He looked so innocent.
Such a dear little thing.
A perfect bait for what he had in mind tonight.
He let go of the silk rope and the body of the innkeeper collapsed into bed. Sukuna rose to his feet and undid his rope, folding up the sheets to store away again before moving to tuck the corpse of the innkeeper gently into bed.
“You are lucky I made your death peaceful,” he whispered before he finally drew back and took his leave, “I wanted to cut you up so many ways for what you did, but I can’t afford for you to be found quickly,”
He gave a pat to the dead man’s face, snickering, “Kind of odd. My first time killing someone felt so...awful, but you, well, maybe it is because you deserved this for a long time,”
Sukuna pulled back, adjusting his kimono one last time before he slipped out the room, doors closing softly behind him and making his way out of the inn, without a backward glance and feeling that wicked glee for what he had done.
But that would only be the appetizer for what was to come.
Sukuna made his way along the streets of the city with slow measured steps, head held hide, and knowing he looked as beautiful as any consort or concubine that could be found. He had the grace and pride enough to walk as if he was a noble, and he all but reveled in the attention.
Not for enjoying the lecherous looks or gawking stares, but for knowing that he was not some precious flower with delicate petals to be unfolded. For any of these wretches, all they would find would be death as the jaws of the tiger beneath the cheerful blooms lashed out, eager to make so much suffer for the indignity that Yuuji was made to suffer.
By the late afternoon, the news of the innkeeper’s death had made its way around the city like wildfire. Sukuna couldn’t help a smile as he sipped tea in a fancy little shop near where the noble lived, all but reveling in the various rumors of how the death had happened. Some said poison. Others said strangulation. Some say he died of his heart giving out.
But that meant that the nobles would not have their usual haunt to go out to find spoils.
Sukuna just smiled, eyes narrowed, waiting patiently for his time to strike, his eyes fixed on the noble’s home. As expected, it was in the evening that the man even began to step outside his home, dressed in his finest clothes and looking ready to bless the city with his heinous presence again. He was barely to his carriage when Sukuna approached him, lips worked into a simpering, concerned look as he bowed low to the noble, hands folded in the wide sleeves of his kimono.
“Excuse me, have you seen my little brother?” he asked, tone soft and delicate and laced with a sad tremble of his lower lip, “I was told he was seen with you the other night. I haven’t seen him all day and I’m so worried!”
The noble looked down at him, eyes looking over every inch of Sukuna with unabated admiration, “Perhaps I do,” the noble man said with a kind smile that hid the darker look in his eyes, “Would you like to step in? I’m sure we can figure out from my servants where he went,”
Sukuna smiled gently, forcing himself not to sneer and break the illusion of a rabbit he wore, “That would be so kind of you,”
“Of course. Generosity is what the nobility should strive for, in accordance with the Buddha,” the man said, all but abandoning the woman on his arms to instead slide a hand to Sukuna’s back, “Please step inside,”
Sukuna’s smile grew a touch more, showing off some teeth, his eyes narrowing, “Oh thank you so much. I feel so honored!”
The man of course, was not interested in helping him. He led Sukuna into the little sitting room with his bedroom in sight. He was all smiles and touches that made Sukuna’s skin crawl and it took everything in him not to leap at his throat then.
Not yet.
This was to be enjoyed.
“My brother looks like me, same hair color, although different colored eyes, like honey,” Sukuna said, looking up hopefully at the man with a faked whimper, “He is so dear to me,”
“Ah, the boy was here last night,” the noble said with a smile, “I allowed him to sleep off his overindulgence and he left this morning in good health, if a little sore,”
Sukuna smiled even as he snarled behind his eyes.
Liar.
He could feel his grip tensing on the tea cup he had been offered, although he didn’t take a sip, not so stupid as to not notice the noble adding something other than tea leaves to the mix.
“I see. Then I suppose my search goes on,” Sukuna said with a sigh.
“There is no rush to go, is there?” The noble asked, “Such a delicate rose like you. I would not mind entertaining you longer,”
Sukuna smiled, faking a sip of the tea, “I suppose I could stay longer,”
He had every intention of staying longer, playing the part of a twittering whore and fawning over every word the noble gave. Inside him though, his hatred was boiling to a ravenous point. His skin crawled at each touch and how he had to simper and whimper until the noble was leading him graciously to his bedchambers. Such a sad boy needs something to cheer him up and he had something special to give. Something that all poor folks should be honored to receive.
“You are beautiful,” the noble murmured, caressing the side of Sukuna’s face.
Sukuna just smiled, leaning into that touch, “Your words are generous,”
“As is my touch,” he said, sliding hands down Sukuna’s sides hungrily.
Sukuna felt his teeth itch with the want to bite into this man, but not yet. Patient. He slid back onto the bed, squirming and feigning interest as he tucked his legs together like a shy virgin.
“You are making me so warm,” Sukuna said, feigning naivety as he moved to gently pull up his kimono, revealing the pale skin of his belly, “Right here, your touch is so nice,”
The noble chuckled, eyes greedily looking over bare skin as he let his hands slide over Sukuna’s belly, “I’ll make it feel even warmer,” He declared with a lecherous grin.
Sukuna held his breath as he watched the man lean down then, lips puckered and all to eager to kiss over his belly. A smile was growing on Sukuna’s face. A wide, vicious, eager thing that split ear to ear, showing off too many teeth and all four of his eyes couldn’t help but open. The noble didn’t even notice as slowly, ever so slowly, Sukuna’s second pair of arms emerged from other the kimono, fingers tensed just above his head.
What would catch the noble’s eye that something was horrifically wrong with his delicate rose was when his lips never touched a smooth belly and instead, a wide, monstrous mouth opened up in a wide snarl, showing off sharp, wicked teeth.
Sukuna couldn’t hold in the glee as he saw the terror in the noble’s eyes as he tried to pull back, only for Sukuna’s second pair of arms to grip hard on his head, tugging it down hard towards that mouth. There was a final, frantic dart of the eyes up to Sukuna’s face, terror that could not be described in words and a scream starting to choke out of the noble.
The stomach mouth clamped down hard, teeth digging into flesh, tearing through with ease, cracking into bone. Sukuna gave a jerk of his whole body, hearing the tearing of muscle and the wet flap of meat as flesh was sent flying across the room and the splatter of blood painted the walls, floor, and ceiling. There was nothing left of the front of the noble’s face. The dying body gurgled on blood, tongue lulling out and eyes staring out in shock before slumping back in a backwards prayer, sliding off the bed with a wet splat.
Sukuna sat there on the bed, panting in an intoxicating mix of fear, horror, and excitement for what he did. The mouth on his stomach spat out the wet lump of flesh that had been the man’s face but the taste of blood and flesh wouldn’t leave his mouth, staining his tongue with a tempting new flavor. The stomach mouth’s tongue swiped out, licking its lips before Sukuna let the now blood-stained kimono fall down over his body again.
Idly he crawled along the bed to peer over the edge, looking at the body of the noble and he couldn’t help a smile. Then he let out a snicker, then a laugh as he raised two fingers. It took very little to cut the man apart, leaving the body disfigured. It was a small relief to see that for how scuzzy the man had been, he had at least been clean.
Sukuna slide off the bed and savagely kicked the pieces of the corpse out of his way.
Served the leecherous fool right for hurting Yuuji.
To think he had the authority to ever hurt Yuuji.
“You’ll never touch him again,” Sukuna said with a chuckle as he wiped blood from his face.
There was a shuffling a the door and Sukuna turned, face a cold mask as a servant entered with wide eyes. They stood there, staring in horror at what was before them and they opened their mouth to scream, only for their head to be sliced cleanly in two. Their body twitched before dropping to the floor.
Sukuna felt little remorse. He could recognize the servant as one of the two that had tossed Yuuji out without much concern for his well-being. It was only sad Sukuna didn’t have time to hunt down the other one.
Sukuna gave a glance around the room, smirking as he saw the various family treasures of the noble’s family stacked neatly away. He gave a little chuckle, grabbing up the soiled sheet from the bed and moving to collect as many as possible, not hurrying as he knew soon the murder would be discovered and he needed time to make his escape and get Yuuji.
There was an excitement in Sukuna as he left the compound, exhilaration fluttering in his chest and burning in his veins for the carnage he had unleashed. His vengeance was sated and those that hurt Yuuji were punished and unable to do so again or remind Yuuji of what had happened.
His yuuji was safe once more.
Thinking of Yuuji had Sukuna’s steps faltering a bit as he realized he was still covered in blood. He glanced down, frowning before making a detour to th edge of the city and the river. He discarded the blood kimono entirely, not above wandering the streets in little more than his undergarments, although blood had managed to splatter on them too. He washed himself quickly, although the taste of blood remained tangy in his mouth.
He gave a glance over to the sack of stolen goods, pursing his lips in thought. There was no way he and Yuuji could stay in the city and pawn those items. They were too well known here and inevitably it would link back to Sukuna.
In another city though, it could turn a profit.
Sukuna mused a bit before he moved to shoulder up his stolen relics and make his way swiftly back to the inn.
He roughly pushed upon the door to their hideout and Yuuji jolted up, eyes groggy with sleep and worry, “Sukuna! Where have you-”
“Get dressed and pack up everything. We’re leaving,” Sukuna said, already moving past Yuuji to start gathering up their things.
Yuuji blinked and rubbed sleep from his eyes while Ahoto yawned wide, stretching out with a whine, “Why do we need to leave?”
“The innkeeper was found dead and I’m sure they are going to try and scapegoat us,” Sukuna said with a glance over to Yuuji, “Two street urchins holing up in the attic are going to be easy targets,”
Yuuji’s eyes widened in shock, “Wait, he’s dead!? How?”
“No sure,” Sukuna lied, “But I’m sure he had it coming. Now get moving!”
Yuuji worried his lip before he began to move, packing up what he could and helping to shove the knapsacks out of their home and down to the ground below. It really didn’t take them too long to pack. They had few possessions to begin with and not enough money to collect too much in the years they had lived in the city. Sukuna wrapped himself back up in a new kimono, rough and thick for the travel ahead and easily shoulder on his back, complete with the stolen wares now safely hidden away within the mass of blankets and clothes.
Yuuji moved to pull on his own bag, pausing a moment to adjust his hat, “So where are we even going?”
“We’ll head for the coast,” Sukuna said, head tilted towards Yuuji, “I need to make a few stops in cities along the way as I picked up a few interesting items to sell while I was out, but we can find a new home. A better one,”
“Hopefully a warmer one,” Yuuji murmured.
He smiled at Sukuna, so blissfully unaware of what the other boy had done that night in his name. Sukuna could only smile back, at ease with that smile, feeling as if in his own way, Yuuji had forgiven him for his transgressions.
Everything was fine, as it should be.
Sukuna reached out a hand to take Yuuji’s own, “But let’s hurry. The goods I got are going to be missed and their owners are going to no doubt want guards to bring my hands back alongside them,”
Yuuji’s eyes widened as he took Sukuna’s hand, letting the other boy tug him along, “You stole something expensive!?”
“A couple very expensive things,” Sukuna corrected with a smirk.
“You do that and they might like, brand you or something,” Yuuji murmured as he hurried to keep up with Sukuna as they made their way to the nearest gate, “I heard some Chinese merchants will tattoo circles about your wrists to show you are a thief!”
Sukuna tilted his head with a small hum, “I don’t know, maybe getting tattoos like that would be a good look for me, eh?”
Yuuji shook his head, “You would holler something awful if you ever got a tattoo,” he retorted.
A chuckle escaped Sukuna, “I think you would be the one screeching,”
“As if! And I wouldn’t ever get a tattoo anyways!” Yuuji retorted.
Sukuna shook his head, smiling blissfully as he head the way out of the city gates and into the dawn of a new day, hand intertwined with Yuuji’s own.
Yuuji was safe and happy again, and that was all Sukuna wanted, even with the taste of blood still strong in his mouth and the thrill of his actions burning a new sort of excitement in him.
He looked back at his companion, his Yuuji, and smiled.
Everything was right, just as he wanted.
And it would never matter to Sukuna how many had to die to keep Yuuji safe.
Because it was only Yuuji that mattered. The only thing that mattered now.
Notes:
Apologies for how long this took to write. It was a heavy chapter to get through and one that sets up a lot of things to come and small threads and themes. Heavy stuff like this requires MANY breaks to write out. I just hope the readers enjoyed the chapter!
The rest of this fic will be easier to write as it never gets to this level of dark again and is more your angst typical losses/coming to terms/love angst stuff, I promise!
Chapter 7: First Mark
Notes:
And another chapter and things are slowly moving forward.... I hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been a few years since last Yuuji and Sukuna walked any road. They had found a comfortable life in the capitol city among the back alleyways and other denizens of the gutter that had caused those memories of cold nights and gnawing hunger to fade away. Now the two of them were on the road once more, feet already growing sore as they trudged along with the sun rising slowly at their backs, and both already missing their home.
Yet for Sukuna it was a necessity that they left. For Yuuji, it was all a strange inconvenience he didn’t fully understand as he dragged his feet along with a pout.
Yuuji let out a loud sigh as he trudged after Sukuna, scowling some as he kicked at a few rocks, “Why did we even have to leave?” he grumbled, “We had a good setup. A roof over our heads, almost three meals a day, and a number of ways to make some coin,”
“We just had to,” Sukuna retorted, glancing over his shoulder, “When the innkeeper died, there was no point in staying. The new owner could have thrown us out or worse,”
“Why would they though? Not like many people can handle curses,” Yuuji retorted, “And that place seemed to just attract curses like flies to a pile of cow poo,”
Sukuna gave a roll of all four eyes, “You are so naive Yuuji. You think everything is just going to work out fine if we just do what we are suppose to do. That everyone has sincere intentions at all times, don’t you?”
Yuuji stopped walking. Sukuna moved a few steps ahead before he realized the other boy had come to a halt. That prompted Sukuna to slow his pace to a stop and turn around to face Yuuji with a lift of an eyebrow, “Why did you stop?”
“You always do that Sukuna,” Yuuji said quietly, “Always acting like I’m just not aware of the world,”
There was a moment of silence between them then that stretched on as Sukuna turned those words over carefully in his mind with a small frown before he gave a snort and shook head and turned back to keep walking.
“Because you act like it constantly,” Sukuna retorted, “You are always the one getting yourself into trouble, and I’m the one that had to get you out,”
“I’m not unaware of everything. I’ve seen just as much as you,” Yuuji said with a thin line of a frown on his lips as he moved to hurry after Sukuna, “I know things happen all the time, so why do you act like you have to keep me safe?”
Sukuna hated when Yuuji managed to strike too close to his heart with those words. It made something in him grow a tad irritated, although he smoothed such feelings out of his expression as he let out a loud sigh, “You are all I have left Yuuji. Can you blame me for being a bit overprotective? If anything were to ever happen to you, well,”
He stepped closer to Yuuji and raised a hand up to cup the side of his face, “What would be left to even care about in this whole world?”
Yuuji worried his lip and for a moment he wanted to say something. He wanted to argue and tell Sukuna that he could very well stand on his own, that he wasn’t something to protect, but instead he sighed, glancing away. He was well aware that such an argument was always a losing battle as Sukuna could be terribly stubborn and set in his ways.
“I understand,” Yuuji murmured, “Just, can you at least be a bit more honest about what is going on? I know it isn’t just the innkeeper or whoever it is you mugged and stole from. You’ve been acting a bit on edge,”
That gave Sukuna paused as he regarded Yuuji with a perplexed expression. It was an honest sort of confusion as Sukuna himself didn’t feel on edge. If anything, there was still a wild glee that crawled under his skin at what he had done. A feeling of how powerful he could be when it came to his situation and how so easily he could turn his fortunes while removing filth from the earth that got in his way. He almost felt like he had been set free from a cage and the world spread out before him to do as he pleased if he would just dare to raise his hands to grasp it.
Yuuji though was looking at him with that pensive pout, unable to see that same thing. Instead, his eyes searched Sukuna’s expression as he moved to take a hand in his own, “You can tell me things you know. Just like we used to share everything. I can tell you have something going around inside your head for better or worse,”
“I have told you everything,” Sukuna said with a shrug as he leaned in to bump his forehead to Yuuji’s own, “I have nothing to hide from you,”
A lie, but it was a necessary one. The less Yuuji knew, the better. The fool of a brat would forgive anyone, just like any well-meaning monk was suppose to, because the damn brat still clung to those ideas that he could become some holy man. But some part of Sukuna, some part still terrified that Yuuji would push him away if he knew anything of his crimes was so quick to cover the truth in sweet lies. The thought of Yuuji ever rejecting him was more painful than any wound he could imagine and all the more terrifying.
Being utterly alone was a terrifying thing.
Or maybe Sukuna clung to some vague hope that in time, Yuuji would give up his ideals and silly ideas and perhaps see things from his view. Then he could show him everything and be free of the burden of lies he was slowly carrying.
Sukuna was just grateful that he could keep such lies out of his face as Yuuji peered at him with a frown. After a moment, Yuuji sighed and glanced away, “All right,” he murmured, “I’ll believe you,”
“Good,” Sukuna patted Yuuji’s cheek with a smile, “Just trust in me to take care of things. Once we reach the next village, I’ll treat you to a feast,”
Food was always a sure way of getting Yuuji to perk up and forget whatever concerns were brewing in his head, “Really?”
“With actual fish and everything,” Sukuna promised with a wink before he turned to continue along the road.
“I haven’t had fish in so long, I forgot what it tastes like,” Yuuji murmured, “You think it is still good?”
“I have heard it is,” Sukuna answered with a chuckle, “I haven’t had it ever,”
Yuuji sighed wistfully, “I bet it will be covered in creamy sauces and all sorts of taros, boiled to a mouth-watering melt of flavor in every bite,”
Sukuna snorted as Yuuji’s stomach made a grumble of longing at such daydreams and he gave his companion a nudge, “Keep thinking about that and you are going to have your stomach eat itself,”
“It will be your fault for making tempting promises you can’t keep!” Yuuji protested.
Sukuna only hummed, giving a mysterious grin, “Oh, this is one I will keep. Just you wait,”
The weight of all the things stolen from that wretched noble still hung heavy on Sukuna’s back. All he needed was a merchant of less reputable standing willing to take the items for a wealth of coin and ask no questions of where it came. After all, the black market, no matter the age, was always a thriving place of commerce and rumor was it was especially lucrative now with the rise in bandits and curse raids on smaller settlements. Such family heirlooms and rare treasures as Sukuna now held would be well wanted and easy to trade along, especially in those places that traded abroad to distant lands. The thought of all the money he would have and how he could use it to give Yuuji a real treat had Sukuna picking up his pace, more than eager to be rid of the items.
The sun tracked their journey slowly along the well-worn roads away from the capitol city. Various merchants and guards passed them along the way without issue and at times, they would pass along resting fellow travelers or families on their way between places looking for better lives. By the time evening was starting to come with the sun beginning its descent into warm golds, the two would come upon a decently sized town guarded behind some modest walls.
It was clear it was a place built up more by merchants for how it sat near a major crossroads, but had little more to offer than a place to rest and trade as most of the main streets were busy with taverns and places for merchants to cut deals than an expansive market for the locals. The security was rather lack for such a busy place though as the guars barely gave them a glance as they entered.
That was a good sign that more criminal activities probably went on rather openly in the less polished side of the town.
Yuuji shifted closer to Sukuna as they past rowdy inns filled with loud conversation and the doors haunted by the concubines and whores looking to apply their trades. There was a marked tension in Yuuji’s body at seeing it and his hand found one of Sukuna’s own to hold tight as they walked, “We aren’t staying here, are we?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t think so. I don’t really care for the work merchants peddle out,” Sukuna said as gave a glance to his companion, “Just here to see someone about a few things,”
“What things?” Yuuji asked, drawing closer as some passing merchants glanced over the two briefly before carrying on.
“I did say I stole a few things on the way out of the city,” Sukuna reminded Yuuji with a nudge, “I need to sell them off and keep my hands clean,”
“Right,” Yuuji murmured.
Sukuna glanced at Yuuji, pursing his lips,” Something wrong? It isn’t the first time I’ve stolen something more than just food with you,”
“I know that,” Yuuji said as he kept his gaze focused on watching the crowd and steering clear of nobles and merchants like a skittish rabbit, “But usually you would show me what you picked up, not keep it a secret,”
Sukuna regarded Yuuji for a moment before shaking his head, “There wasn’t time is all. Had to pack it all up. If there was time, I would have showed you in a heartbeat,”
Yuuji frowned again, unease edged in his expression, but as always, he let out a sigh “If you say so,”
Sukuna relaxed as Yuuji dropped the subject. It meant less irritating squabbling with his companion. It was even more fortuitous when Yuuji’s attention was drawn to colorful street performers and moving to shush Ahoto when the mutt started to bark and snap at some nobles that had drifted too close. It was rather funny to watch one of those noble women squeak and hurry away, casting a glare at the two as she was forced to give part of the street away to a pair of what she probably saw as dirty vagabonds.
All the better that such people kept away from Yuuji as far as Sukuna was concerned.
It took a little bit of searching among the lower parts of the town to find where the black market trades were going on. A life on the streets had made Sukuna and Yuuji more wise for the signs of back alley deals and the activities of thieves clans that applied their trade among more enterprising merchants.
The black market here was less hidden away, just a single alleyway that stretched on between the slum houses of the poorest souls and smelled of squalor and sewage. Yuuji kept close to Sukuna, well aware that of the two of them, Sukuna had the more imposing aura, even if he was the same height as Yuuji and rather skinny for his size. There was something in Sukuna’s gaze that had always been able to keep people away and those few that dared to mess with him learned quickly he was not one to hold back. That wasn’t to say Yuuji hadn’t had poor souls running off with bruises and black eyes, but most people would try to mess with him, taking advantage of his naive nature to want to talk out or leave a situation rather than put up right away. With Sukuna, they would be lucky to crawl away with only one broken bone.
The two of them though were a new face and thus it was not unusual for eyes to be on them. Sukuna was already putting his savage glare to work and teeth bared slightly into an unpleasant leer that was directly swiftly to anyone that drew close. The pickpockets weren’t approaching. They could practically smell their kin and knew when a target wasn’t easy to fool. The more experienced thieves also were not coming near as if they could sense something terribly hostile in Sukuna’s look.
Yuuji gave a small frown as he nudged up to Sukuna, “They are more bold here. More out in the open at least than in the capitol,”
“I think the law here is a bit laid-back with its criminals, given this is a merchant city,” Sukuna commented, “You know as well as I do that merchants may have wealth but still huddle in the mud with us in terms of the social ladder,”
“Because they horde money and eat the poor,” Yuuji said with a playful grin, “Isn’t that what master Dayu used to say?”
Sukuna tilted his head, a faint smile touching his lips as he recalled the monk’s often colorful insults about those he held in contempt, “That he did. Also that they bath in the piss of courtesans and sleep around like diseased rodents,”
Yuuji snickered, “He would mutter that under his breath where he thought we wouldn’t hear him then act as if nothing so awful came from his lips,”
“He did indeed,”
And memories of the boisterous monk brought with it that sliver of nostalgia that gnawed slightly at Sukuna’s heart. He knew in Yuuji it was all the more stronger with how he stared off with that sad smile on his lips. It was a reminder of things of a far pleasant time when they were both such very different people and more innocent to the world.
Sukuna wondered what Master Dayu would say about him if he saw him now and knew what he had done. He closed his eyes, frowning just a touch then as the thought brought an unpleasant feeling creeping up his spine, “Let’s fine a place before it gets too dark,”
He tugged Yuuji along the road at a faster pace then before finally spotting a place that looked promising. The building was in bad shape as it leaned to one sideand the roof was bowing inward from water damage. Outside the building though, there was a display that proudly proclaimed it was a shop for selling rare goods and antiques. There was also the tell-tale mark that told any would-be thieves their goods would be accepted here in exchange for coin. Sukuna gave a glance about before looking to Yuuji and giving a cock of his head.
“Watch the door will you? I’ll go in and make the deal,” he said.
“Why can’t I come in with you?” Yuuji asked with a frown.
“New town. No one knows our reputation,” Sukuna gave a shrug, “Would rather no thugs came in to rough up and cause the deal to come out less, right? We got to watch our own profits if we want to survive,”
Yuuji worried his lip before he sighed, moving to slump against the wall just beside the door, “I guess,” he grumbled as he crossed his arms, “Still feels like you are trying to keep me out of everything now,”
“Just this one time Yuuji, geeze,” Sukuna huffed as he reached over to pinch Yuuji’s arm, making him jump with a yelp, “You are acting like I’ve done this every single time,”
Yuuji rubbed his arm with a pout, glowering half-heartedly at Sukuna, “Yeah, but it is so sudden now is all!”
“And it will be back to normal once we find a place we like,” Sukuna assured him, “I’ll be quick,”
He stepped into the building, pushing aside the cloth that served as a door and gave a glance around. The place was junky and unkempt with piles of wares haphazardly put on display. A skinny slip of a man sat behind the counter, idly picking at his teeth as he examined himself in a half polished silver plate. He gave one glance to Sukuna and then back to his reflection with a sneer, “What do you want?”
“I’ve got some wares I think you might want to take a look at,” Sukuna responded coldly as he came up to the counter, “They are rather rare, so if you got a fair price, I’ll gladly make a trade,”
The man scowled and had a wary look on his face before he finally turned to regard Sukuna fully, “Look brat-”
“I’m not a brat,” Sukuna interrupted, tone firm with a low hint of danger that gave the man pause, “I’m very capable of taking care of myself and don’t run with any street vermin gang. If I was here to waste your time, I would most certainly be simpering a lot more and putting my hands on your stupid garbage,”
Sukuna shrugged the bag off his shoulder and opened it to show the glint of rare family treasures, gold and precious metals molded into gleaming prizes that had the man at the counter’s dull eyes widening, “I don’t come to these places unless I have something enticing to offer,”
The man glanced greedily over the haul that was laid out before him and he was all but salivating over the glints of rare treasures. He paused though and his gaze flicked up to regard Sukuna’s face for a moment. He licked his dry lips before settling back and rubbing his chin, “I can offer you a good three strings of heavy coins for that lot. That is a very fair offer if I do say so myself, for someone like you,”
“Someone like me,” Sukuna said flatly, “What is in here is worth more than that and you are well aware of that,”
“That is something any noble house would have in their holdings,” the man retorted, “Nothing rare too it. I’ve made a generous offer, but if you want to push it or walk off, well,” the man leaned in with a smirk, as if he had the upper hand, “I could always drop word to the guards you made off with some stolen heirlooms. I’m sure there is an owner close by that is missing them terribly, eh?”
Sukuna stiffened and the man grinned wide, as if already assured of his victory as he sat back. He took Sukuna’s reaction for the boy to give in quickly and get away with what he could. The man was a fool as far as Sukuna was concerned.
He didn’t bother to argue or inform the man of his stupid choices so much as he raised two fingers up and gave a harsh slash through the air, all four eyes opening and narrowing in agitation. He saw the man’s eyes widen for a moment and his lips form a phrase of alarm that made no sound as his head came away from his neck.
The man was dead before his body even hit the floor. Sukuna just looked at the bleeding out corpse and the surprised head that had rolled off to the side. He gave a snort before he stepped around the counter and unceremoniously shoved the man under the counter with a kick, tossing the head on top the body before tossing a few empty dirty sacks and cloth over it. No one would probably even notice for a good few hours, if at all. Most likely the body would be found and the store looted for all it was worth before he was reported dead.
No one would really look into it and probably write it off as he offended some local clan of thieves who decided to put an end to him. Sukuna smirked a bit as he picked through the wares for anything that had some worth to take with him. Not entirely untrue a story, only that Sukuna was his own clan. He and Yuuji and no one else.
Still, there was no point in lingering too long and after taking a few more items to shove into his pack, Sukuna strolled out as if nothing had happened and gave a glance over to where Yuuji was crouched on the ground, feeding Ahoto scraps unaware of the murder that had taken place inside.
“Let’s get going. The idiot was trying to scam me on the worth of these things,” Sukuna scoffed.
“Thought since you didn’t have facial hair you must be clearly ten, baby-face?” Yuuji teased.
Sukuna gave a roll of his eyes as he reached over to give a pinch to Yuuji’s cheek, “You are the one with the baby face, Itadori,” he drawled, “Still got all the pudgy fat from when you were five whereas I lost it all,”
Yuuji swatted away Sukuna’s hand with a huff, “Yeah well, at least I got muscles! You are all skin and bones!”
“Oh just wait,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “Give it three more years and by the time of our eighteenth winter, I’ll be taller and stronger than you,”
Yuuji gave a shake of his head, “As if that would ever happen,” he grumbled.
They left that city without Yuuji even knowing that another body was being left in their wake.
They spent the night along the edge of the woods to the sounds of the night creatures and the crackle of their fire to keep out the chill of the night. The conversation was as it always was between them, light and joking, although they sat closer to each other now.
For warmth, was the excuse, but the kissed shared before they settled down to sleep was not for warmth as much as it was for that strange feeling that had continued to brew between them. Maybe it was the elusive budding of youth that Master Dayu had warned them both of, that fire of affection that burned so keenly as they lay nestled together, one of Yuuji’s hands curled into Sukuna’s as if to make sure he was always there.
Or maybe they were just so fearful of being alone, it was only natural they would find solace in the one soul that understood them completely.
The morning brought a small scrap of millet to fill their stomachs and another long trek along winding roads as they headed more towards where the mountains sloped downwards in the direction of the sea and towards where the more worn paths of travel directed them.
The next city was tucked away at the root of the mountains and a stone’s throw away from some port-side village where the traders from abroad would come from. The orchards of the area made it a place of interest and thus the city had started to expand, eager to peddle its bounties to trades from distant lands who came with rare spices and treasures of their own.
This time there were more options for pawning off the stolen wares and Sukuna set his glare a tad more meaningful and carried himself a little taller to shrug off his fifteen years for something a bit older and more respected. It was at least easier to find a black-market trader who actually took the goods seriously, turning them over and examining closely before settling a price that was far fairer. The heavy relics where exchange for a heavier purse of coin.
Yuuji’s eyes widened as Sukuna held up the purse with a pleased smirk, “How did you get so much?” yuuji blurted out.
“I’ve got my ways,” Sukuna said with a pleased grin, “But with this, I can now keep my promise to you, right?”
“Which one?” Yuuji asked with a tilt of his head, “You make a lot of promises to me,”
Sukuna snorted and gave Yuuji a nudge, “I probably could answer all of them now. Which one do you want to start with?”
Yuuji’s brow furrowed before he perked up and Sukuna already knew what he would ask for, “There was that feast you promised a few days ago. That would be a good start!”
“Then a feast you shall have, Yuuji,” Sukuna said with a wider grin, showing off more of his teeth, “A feast fit for a pair of kings!”
Neither he nor Yuuji looked the picture of wealth in their ragged clothes and carrying the dirt of travel upon them. They certainly weren’t the kind of patrons that would roll up to one of the more expensive inns in the city that catered more towards the nobility. As soon as they entered into the gleaming entryway, with their dog prancing about their feet, the innkeeper had taken one look at the two of them and seemed all ready to throw them out. His sour expression though turned to one of greatest welcome when Sukuna had deposited a wealth of coins on his ledger with an expectant cock of an eyebrow. Those glittering coins were enough to have the owner of the inn pause and regard the wealth before his demeanor went from a scowl to the most welcoming smile in the whole city.
It was almost laughable how he simpered to them, welcoming Sukuna’s generous spending of coin for a lavish room, a private feast of food, and a soak in a hot bath. He clearly cared little for where the money came, as long as it was his establishment that collected on Sukuna and Yuuji’s visit.
They were whisked off to a private room and even more, an attached private bath with hot water already being poured into a basic for them to enjoy.
Yuuji all but melted as he sank into the hot water up to his chin and let out a loud, deeply satisfied groan “Oh. Oh this feels amazing!”
“Mm,” Sukuna murmured, all four eyes slitted in lazy pleasure as he sank in as well, “Beats the cold baths at the monastery out back with a bucket of well water and morning frost,”
“And the ones in the river,” Yuuji added with a sigh, “We might actually stop smelling of streets for a bit,”
Sukuna snickered, “You’ll smell like the cherry blossoms everyone compares you to!”
“Sweet and divine, floating above the world so dainty,” Yuuji cooed before he nudged Sukuna, “but you’ll always smell like mountains and danger, right?”
“I bet I’ll smell as dainty as you since we are using the same soap,” Sukuna said as he grabbed onto one of the scent bars provided to their private bath, “Time to give you a scrub down!”
Of course Yuuji protested, flailing about and yelping. Yuuji had always protested getting scrubbed, be it in a bucket of well water or in the river among the other dirty urchins trying to do a bit of grooming. Sukuna was more than happy though to wrangle his companion into washing up, the two laughing and flicking water and suds at each other with their usual playful antics. They did not linger long in the bath, more for how the water began to cool and of course, to prevent anyone from noticing that their newest patron may have an extra set of limbs that would indicate a less than savory ancestry.
Glad in clean kimonos and smelling of the freshness of spring, the two sprawled out on the floor of their room, stuffing their face with the food that had been brought out on fine dishes for them to eat. Plates of fish, vegetables, and bowls of soups had been laid out by the servants for them to eat in private away from prying eyes. Yuuji all but moaned as his tongue touched his first taste of well-prepared fish, looking as if he had found nirvana in that single bite.
“This tastes so good!”
“It does,” Sukuna said as he took his own bite, feeling his tongue practically melt at tasting something with flavor and not the usual bland meal of millet and whatever wilted vegetables they could scavenge.
“How are we ever going to go back to eating the usual crap after this?” Yuuji groaned, already starting to stuff his face with more of the fish before pouncing upon the next dish.
Sukuna gave a small pause at that as he licked some of the sauce from his fingers, “Maybe we could eat like this everyday. What is stopping us?”
“Money and the fact we don’t have any means of clawing our way up the social ladder?” Yuuji said with a tilt of his head, “Neither of us have noble blood for sure. I mean, probably could make decent money taking up farming or something, but not enough to eat like this everyday,” he brightened up with a smile to Sukuna, “Maybe for special occasions though!”
Sukuna shook his head, frowning a touch, “We can do more than that. Noble blood or not, we don’t have to live humble like monks, Yuuji. Not anymore,”
He took another bite of the fish dish, savoring the taste of meat on his tongue. It was such a rarity and it made his mouth water. The taste of it was masked in various sauces and spices which were a delight to the tongue, but idly Sukuna wondered if it would taste better with a bit of the raw tang of iron.
A taste of blood was not a completely awful flavor after all.
Sukuna’s four eyes looked over the fine dishes that bore the marks of being crafted in far off China and no doubt had cost a pretty coin to procure. They sat upon woven mats of the highest quality, adorned with pillows filled with soft wool from the north and silks from abroad. The scent of sandalwood was pleasant and clung to the room from the burning incessant that had been lit on a small table in the room.
Every corner of the room, from the lavish blankets and pillows set out for them to sleep upon, to the beautiful murals and paintings adorning the walls, spoke of a wealth few could have but could experience for a short time.
Like a taste of luxury that would be gone by tomorrow and something about that had Sukuna frowning a bit more.
“What did those who live like this even do to deserve this?” Sukuna muttered, “Most of what I’ve seen have been fools who had no power or ability to do a thing and were born lucky,”
Yuuji blinked, glancing about, “I guess. I mean it is nice, but having all this, just seems like you would always be worried about losing it right?”
“You wouldn’t have to worry if you were strong enough to keep it,” Sukuna said simply, “No one ever took anything from us when we lived in the inn’s attic, now did they? They knew better than to come close,”
“I guess,” Yuuji murmured, “But that is because you always hurt people,”
Sukuna could feel the scowl tugging at his lips, glancing over to Yuuji as he leaned back, a cup of sake in hand, “Because I always hurt people?” He repeated snidely, “Or people tried to get in my way, tried to hurt us, and I had to act?”
There was a slight tension to Yuuji’s shoulder as he looked over warily towards Sukuna, hands curled around a cup of tea, “Everyone gets hurt in life Sukuna. We were taught that from a young age at the monastery. People get hurt and people suffer, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep spreading it,”
He hated when Yuuji spoke of their teachings. It was a reminder to Sukuna of how naive he had been at one point thinking that if he was good enough, that in time the world might accept him. How he had sat on the knee of master Kotarou and listened intently to his stories of banished curses and saving people. At one time, he saw himself as someone who could be the hero of the stories and through deed alone, help everyone and be as selfless and strong as the monk he saw as his father.
It felt like such an idiotic dream now.
In the end, that goodwill had not saved master Kotarou or any of the other monks. It hadn’t saved himself or Yuuji when they were starving. It certainly wasn’t what was saving them now as they filled their bellies with the first proper meal of their lives. Sukuna could feel his ire rising as he took a long drink of the sake, letting the liquid burn a path down his throat before he tossed the cup away carelessly.
“Yuuji, you are stupid, do you know that? I think you would be dead ten times over if it wasn’t for me always having to step in to protect you and get you out of trouble. You keep acting like we are still living in that monastery,” Sukuna shifted to lean forward, all four eyes narrowed, “That place burned to the ground and everyone but us died Yuuji. That’s what those sentiments brought us. Do you want to let fate finish the job by clinging to those ideals?”
Yuuji flinched, but he frowned and there was that stubborn look in his eyes that made Sukuna want to groan as he was well aware his companion was going to argue with him. Even now, the brat always seemed to want to try and be a moral compass in a world that lacked any, like the over-emotional fool he was.
“If I just abandon my ideals, than what good am I?” Yuuji huffed, “I’ll hold mine and you can hold yours, whatever fucked up morals you got now that involve cracking your knuckles into people’s face,”
“How rich coming from you when you do the same thing,” Sukuna sneered.
“I might give them a few bruises or a black eye, but you break bones,” Yuuji retorted, “I think you nearly killed a few people for little more than trying to steal a handfuls of millet from us,”
Sukuna let out a laugh at those words, smirking a bit to himself, “If I had, would you have turned me in to the guards so they would mark my face?” he asked, “Would you find me repulsive in your perfect world of only good?”
Yuuji flinched, regarding Sukuna before looking away, “What’s with you right now?”
“What do you mean?” Sukuna asked as he picked up the bottle of sake and took a sip directly from it, finding he was enjoying how that liquid burned its way and took with it all the fearful barriers he put around himself.
He was watching Yuuji out of the corner of his eye and he could see how his companion squirmed about. There was something in his expression that was troubled and he wouldn’t look at Sukuna which was a sure sign he was trying to hold something in. There was small glances about, one hand already dropping to pet over the head of Ahoto as he worried his lip. Sukuna merely took another long sip of his sake, eyes fixed on Yuuji as he waited for his reply.
Eventually Yuuji let out a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away, “You seem more cruel of late,” he said quietly, “More angry. You lash out a lot more. It is not like you,”
“Not like me,” Sukuna said flatly as he set the bottle down me, “Then what am I like, Yuuji? Please tell me what I’m suppose to be like to seem normal to you,”
Yuuji blinked, straightening up some, “Sukuna, that isn’t what I meant. I’ve known you my entire life. You didn’t use to be so mean!”
Sukuna let out a laugh, leaning forward with a smirk, eyes narrowing, “I don’t think you know how mean I can be, Yuuji, but maybe I should start when you won’t listen to me and keep complaining about everything I do for you. I got you a hot bath, a feast, and a warm place to sleep tonight, and yet all you do is complain,”
“Sukuna I’m not-”
Yuuji had barely gotten the words out before Sukuna was in his space, a snarl on his face and for a moment, that darker side of him came out in full. Yuuji fell back, eyes wide and Ahoto jolted up before letting out a low whine, curling back and unsure of what to do. Sukuna just regarded Yuuji, noting those wide eyes and the look of actual fear for the first time on his face.
Some part of him marveled that Yuuji could have such an expression, especially around him. It had something in him shiver and whisper how fear had its place. It was used by many to keep people well-behaved and compliant. Would it not be easier to have Yuuji fear him a little to keep him from always questioning his methods? Was not fear the weapon of choice that the world used to keep everyone in line?
Yuuji swallowed, raising up one hand to place gently against Sukuna’s chest, “Sukuna-”
“You should listen to me, Yuuji, not lecture me about your lofty morals and how we should all aspire to live for the sake of others and not for ourselves,” Sukuna growled as he reached up with one hand to roughly grab Yuuji by the wrist, “That is going to get your hurt. Over and over again. I for one don’t want to live a life of suffering, do you?”
“Of course not, but-”
Sukuna leaned in close, another hand clutching hard at Yuuji’s chin, watching as he winced, “Then don’t think I’m like you,” he said, voice low and dangerous, “Because unlike you, I’m strong enough to do whatever it takes to stay alive, to be happy, and not let everyone use and abuse me like you would do, understand?”
Yuuji winced at that, looking away as best he could from Sukuna and clenching his teeth. He was trying to act tough, but there was a pinprick of tears at his eyes as he finally forced tight words out from behind gritted teeth, “Sukuna, you’re hurting me,”
Those words were all it took to snap Sukuna back to reality. That darker part folded away and a gnawing guilt was replaced as he let go of Yuuji’s chin and sat back. A shame rose in him as some part of him whispered that he was being cruel to Yuuji in a way he would not forgive himself for doing.
Yuuji was slow to sit up, curled up some as if expecting Sukuna to lash out again. There as a guarded, wide-eyed look, like a hunted animal that cut through Sukuna all the more as he looked away.
“Sorry,” Sukuna murmured, “I shouldn’t have done that,”
“You shouldn’t have,” Yuuji agreed slowly, “Why would you do that? I wasn’t even arguing that much with you or complaining,”
Sukuna closed his eyes, struggling to find an answer, although the obvious one would be to admit that he was like that with other people rather frequently to the point he had killed. And knowing deep inside he was going to kill again and again if it meant protecting himself and Yuuji.
“I just want to protect you,” Sukuna said softly, as he wrapped his arms about his knees, “I swore I would and you are the only thing left in this world I really care about. You and that stupid mutt of yours. I’m just getting… frustrated. Like I’m not doing enough and you aren’t listening to me,”
Yuuji was silent for a moment before he shifted to sit next to Sukuna, hesitating a moment before he reached over to wrap his arms about him, “You don’t have to be cruel to protect me,” he murmured, “I wouldn’t want you to be,”
It took so much for Sukuna not to blurt out that he had already been cruel to protect Yuuji. So many times now. That there was a trail of bodies in his wake all meant to keep Yuuji safe. Sukuna swallowed, feeling like that terrified young boy so many years ago looking at the dead body of that noble on the monastery stairs and feeling the dead man’s eyes drill through him.
Sukuna closed his eyes, sinking into Yuuji’s forgiving embrace, “I’m sorry. If I lash out like that at you, do something please. I don’t want to hurt you,”
“And I don’t want to hurt you, you idiot,” Yuuji huffed, his grip tightening about Sukuna, “So let’s just go back to how things were, when we shared everything and talked, okay? No more secrets,”
“No more secrets,” Sukuna said.
A lie as he would keep every secret from the other boy if it meant that Yuuji could have his simple-minded ideals and act like the world was a place where good deeds would lead to good things in life.
Sukuna closed his eyes, letting all four arms wrap about Yuuji and held him close. Even when they shuffled the finished feast off to the doors for servants to take away and bedded down for the night among soft blankets and pillows, he still clung to Yuuji, just as Yuuji did the same.
No matter what happened, all they had was each other in the end and that was the only thing that Sukuna would believe in. Yuuji’s forgiveness was greater than any god’s blessing. Yuuji, in all that he was, was more important than the need to breath, more defined than love, and more binding than any vow to this earth. And Sukuna knew he was just as important to Yuuji. No matter what, even if he disagreed, Yuuji would follow him without question. Where one of them went, the other had to follow. They were chained together, their souls bound up, and their fates destined to be together to whatever end.
That was just how it was. How it had to be.
It was those troubled thoughts that chased Sukuna to sleep, nestled in close to Yuuji who held him just as close, his soft breath tickling against Sukuna’s neck as he slept.
The next morning came slowly. The sunlight crept in through the slivers in the curtains and slowly roused both of them to awake. They were reluctant to get up and get ready for the day, taking a less extravagant breakfast and paying their dues to the innkeeper as they shuffled out the door and back into the streets. The city was just waking up as well, stretching out with the early morning deliveries and porters lumbering about with their heavy wares.
These streets were unfamiliar from the ones they had made a home of for many long years, but some things never changed. There were still nobles shuffling home from laying in the arms of lovers and the odd drunk staggering about in an effort to get home. The early morning artisans were smoking idly outside with sleepy gazes as they worked to rouse themselves for the work that day.
Yuuji yawned, although he tried to muffle the sound with a hand as he glanced about before nudging up against Sukuna, “So what’s the plan?”
“I suppose we should find a new place to live,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “And then figure out what we will do to keep our coffers replenished,”
“Maybe we can find more honest work than pick pocketing and stealing?” Yuuji suggested with a hopeful smile.
Sukuna pursed his lips, shooting Yuuji a look, “I don’t know, will anyone look at the two of us and want to hire us when you look like a scrawny mutt?”
“You look like the scrawny one Sukuna!” Yuuji retorted, prodding at Sukuna’s stomach although he quickly pulled away when he felt the mouth underneath give a low warning grumble, “But I’m sure someone will hire us!”
“Someone who doesn’t want to try and sell us into a brothel?” Sukuna drawled.
Yuuji tensed at that, quickly looking away, “I think I know what to look for if that is the case,” he said quietly.
The reaction had Sukuna pausing some and a small bit of cold dread was filtering through him as he wondered if Yuuji remembered more than he let on of what happened that awful night. He regarded Yuuji closely, although as ever, that bright smile was back as Yuuji’s head turned this way and that to take in the new sights of the city, “Anyways! I think we would make good fruit merchants! We always easily sold what we had and could make any merchant rich!”
“I suppose,” Sukuna murmured as he tucked his hands into the wide sleeves of his kimono, “But how many merchants are just going to trust a pair of dirty street vermin with their wares or to bring the money back at all?”
Yuuji puffed out his cheeks, getting that stubborn glint in his eyes that had Sukuna blowing out a sigh and giving a roll of his eyes, “We will show them we can be trusted!” Yuuji said, all the fire and confidence that his efforts would always work out as he intended.
Of course, he was so caught up in his personal fervor, he barely was watching where he was going and Sukuna watched with a snort as he ran head first into some gaudily dressed merchant who had been bending over to tend to something on his stall. The merchant let out a yelp, turning with a glower and started to shout at Yuuji in some strange tongue. That was enough for Yuuji to scamper back a few steps, hand up, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
The man continued his yelling even as Yuuji quickly ducked away, red in the face as Sukuna snickered, following after him, “I’m sure he’ll give you a job Yuuji! He sounds so very friendly!”
“Shut up Sukuna!” Yuuji retorted, glowering at his companion, “You could have warned me!”
“But you get mad when I interrupt your self righteous speeches,” Sukuna said with a small smirk and sarcastically simpering tone, “Didn’t want to take the fire out of it, you know?”
Yuuji rolled his eyes as he gave Sukuna a shove, “You are becoming the worst!”
That only had Sukuna snickering as he leaned in, giving a waggle of his eyebrows, “The very worse,” He teased before stealing a kiss from Yuuji’s lips.
That was enough to have Yuuji’s cheeks going a deep red and he yelped, swatting away at Sukuna who only laughed, “Not in public, you animal!”
“How can I not when you are being so utterly adorable?” Sukuna teased as he scampered a few feet ahead.
Yuuji tried to glare, but the smile wouldn’t leave his face as he gave chase to Sukuna, nudging up to him and leaning up to steal a kiss right back, “The things I put up with because of you,” he murmured with a shake of his head.
Sukuna just smiled as he slipped his hand into Yuuji’s own with a tilt of his head, “I should be saying that, but maybe we just put up with each other because no one else ever will,”
That smile of Yuuji’s was always breathtaking. How bright it could be no matter the circumstances and even now, Sukuna wanted nothing more than to make a scene in the streets in kissing the light right out of that smile so he could keep it as forever his. Yuuji always smiled so easily.
And in that moment, Sukuna couldn’t look away as Yuuji smiled at him with a tip of his head to the side as they walked along, “I always will, Sukuna. I did say I would always take care of you, one way or another, to the day I die,”
Sukuna allowed himself a small smile, “And even beyond that,” he promised softly with a squeeze to Yuuji’s hand.
The moment though was shattered by a loud shriek and the sudden rough hands of guards coming down on Yuuji’s shoulders, “That’s him! That’s the one!”
Yuuji looked utterly confused as he was pulled from Sukuna’s grip. A look of panic was soon to replace it as more guards arrived, grim-faced and glaring down at Yuuji as the merchant from before arrived with a sniveling crook of a servant wringing his hands beside him.
“that’s the one who ran into my master and stole coin from him!” the servant accused, “I saw it with my own eyes!”
Yuuji blinked before he was shaking his head, “It wasn’t me! I didn’t steal anything!”
Sukuna stared for a moment before he was cussing as he was shoved this way and that as a crowd began to gather, all to eager to see what drama was unfolding. Sukuna hd to shove and push to get to the front, although the wall of guards was making it hard to get to where Yuuji stood in their grip. There was anger in Yuuji’s expression as well as frustration as he squirmed about and gave small kicks out. Somewhere in the crowd Ahoto was barking and snarling as he tried to get to his master’s side.
The guards were already searching Yuuji but would find nothing to back-up the claims of the servant and the cursing, yelling merchant who kept going on in his strange tongue. The servant paused to listen to his master before giving a nod and looking to the guards, no doubt acting as a translator and twisting the words to fit his own narrative.
“The scoundrel must have spent it!” the servant snarled, “A sneaky little thief!”
Sukuna bared his teeth, glaring all the more as the guards were already hauling Yuuji up. One of the grim-faced soldiers leaned in to speak with the servant and merchant. There was a hushed and hurried conversation, or rather the captain talking to the servant with a skeptical look who then spoke to his master. After some back and forth, the guard captain stepped back and turned to gesture to this men that were holding Yuuji, “Take him to the barrack and have him marked. One ring around each wrist to signal his theft. That should be reminder enough to watch where his hands stray less he earn a second mark,”
Sukuna felt his blood run cold at such a declaration. The mark of thieves were easy to see by the rings about the wrists or the arms. Two were given, the third was to be put in prison. Just like those bandits who wore the mark of murder upon their faces, such tattoos were the signs of a criminal.
To think of Yuuji having them upon his skin, blemishing them with such accusations had Sukuna shoving forward, already raising one hand with two fingers extended and a look of rage starting to bloom on his face.
“No!”
Yuuji’s exclamation would seem to anyone else merely a desperate plea for the guards to not mark him at all, but his gaze was not on the guards nor the merchant and his smirking servant. Instead it was on Sukuna. Those honeyed eyes were focused like an arrow that pinned Sukuna in place, hand half raised. Yuuji was looking at him, pleading for him not to do anything.
As always, even if he had done the crime or not, Yuuji would take it without fuss nor attempt to fight such actions. He would suffer if it meant the situation would come to an end with no one hurt.
Sukuna gritted his teeth, watching as Yuuji was being taken away and feeling helpless. He knew Yuuji would not forgive him for slaughtering every guard who dared to lay a hand on him as well as the merchant and his servant. Sukuna even felt like the gawking crowd deserved to be ripped apart for making light of this whole situation with their whispers and disapproving scowls sent Yuuji’s way as if he were some awful soul that deserved what was coming to him. All of it bubbled inside Sukuna, but he had few options with Yuuji shackling him so with his pleading gaze.
Sukuna closed his eyes, breathing out a harsh hiss of air from between his teeth before he stepped forward and raised his hand high in the air, clutching the coin purse, “You fools, you take him and you’ll let the real thief getaway,” Sukuna called out, “Since I’m the one who stole it all,”
the coins he had were stolen in a sense, having come from selling what he had taken from the home of the noble in the capitol, but not a single coin had come from the screeching merchant. No doubt it was the sniveling servant who had stolen from the merchant and had saw a good opportunity to blame someone else to avoid his own punishment.
It made Sukuna sick that he was forced to lose what was his, put his own head upon the chopping block, all to keep Yuuji from suffering. If he had just been allowed to act, none of this would be happening.
Some part of him felt a shimmer of anger towards Yuuji, a slow burn of discontent for the weakness the other showed in trying to always play hero.
The guards regarded Sukuna a moment before looking to the captain who frowned some. The dark eyes of the man looked between Yuuji, Sukuna, and the sniveling servant who was a bit wide-eyed at the mass of coins Sukuna was so casually showing off. There was a reluctance in the captain’s stance and no doubt he saw himself as merely a man doing a job as he sighed, gesturing to his men to let Yuuji go.
“Was all of that taken from the merchant?” The captain asked.
“I suppose that is up to that damn merchant and his fool companion to decide how much was missing,” Sukuna sneered, “Since it is their word against mine, correct?”
The captain pursed his lips before turning to the merchant and his servant, pointing a finger at Sukuna, “Is this the one who did it? You were very sure it was that other boy who robbed you,”
The merchant said something, glancing to his servant with a purse of his lips. The servant for his part cowered some before shaking his head, “I merely got them confused is all. They are remarkably the same!”
Sukuna scoffed at that, a sneer pulling across his face and if he could, he would have opened all four eyes to fix the coward with a glare, “Insolent worm,”
“See how evil he looks at us? He is no doubt a thief!” The servant declared, looking about to the crowd, “There is violence written all over him!”
Such a comment had Sukuna wanting to laugh. They did not know how violent he wish to be then, how he hated how they all looked at him then. They stared at him like something that shouldn’t be allowed to draw breath. It tore at something deep inside Sukuna and it only had him sneering more. There was a hint of mercy in the eyes of anyone in tha crowd save for Yuuji, who stood wide eyed in shock, pleading with his gaze for Sukuna to back down and not take the fall.
But he would not. He had sworn to protect Yuuji and if it was he who must take the punishment, than so be it. He stood defiant, glaring at the captain and the merchant, still holding up his sack of coins,” Well? What is the verdict,”
The captain gave a glance to the crowd before sighing and gesturing for Yuuji to be let go and Sukuna to be accosted, “We will sort out the payment with the merchant,” was all he said about the matter of the money as it was confiscated.
Sukuna felt a bitter snarl in his chest knowing it would most likely be taken in its entirety as he was marched along the road towards the city guard post. With the loss of that coin when all the means he had to try and fulfill his promises of a good life to Yuuji. It struck painfully deep and only had Sukuna’s glare darkening all the more as he was dragged along to the guard barrack. It was a crude building meant to house troops and prisoners in equal regard, although the prison half was more a squalor mud pit filled with diseased, leering men and vermin of all kinds.
Sukuna was marched past them as if to be shown what would become of him should he continue his life of crime, but he only scoffed at their predicament. He held himself up with the pride of someone born of a royal pedigree as he was led into some dingy room where a grizzled man sat chewing his few good teeth over some cooked millet. He barely gave a glance up from his meal as he reached for a worn box that sat before him, “What’s the mark?”
“Two bands on the wrists,” one of the guards said as they shoved Sukuna into a chair before the man and grabbed the arms they were aware of forward and onto the table, “For theft,”
“Such a young face to wearing such marks,” The man murmured as he took out his tools, dipping the tip of a wicked looking tool in dark ink, “Was the theft really so terrible he needs to be marked at all?”
“He robbed a very wealth merchant,” one of the guards said, “You know how it is,”
The old man sighed, “Have to mark to appease those who keep the money in pockets,” he murmured before he glanced his cloudy grey eyes up to Sukuna, “You want something to clamp your teeth into?”
“I’ll be fine,” Sukuna growled.
The man eyed him before giving a small shrug, “If you say so, but if you change your mind, I’ve got some wood to bite onto,”
The old man pulled out his tool, a vicious needle dipped in black ink and held it up a moment, squinting as if to inspect the end of it before he leaned forward, puncturing the tool into Sukuna’s skin.
Sukuna wanted to be tough and hold his tongue and take it without a sound, just like he had told Yuuji, but the pain was intense and within a few punctures, he was choking out cries, nearly screams before one of the guards gagged him. Tears were heavy in his eyes as he sat there, staring up at the ceiling and making every effort not to thrash or open his second pair of eyes or have his hidden away second pair of arms come up to try and push himself away. He sat there trembling as he was marked, the old man doing his best to be careful and quick about the whole affair and not batting an eye as he had probably done this a thousand times before.
Thick black rings about the wrists of his top two arms emerged like brands.
Sukuna’s wrists were throbbing with pain and he felt almost sick. His stomach was turning over and over as he sat there, tears streaming down his face. The old man was not without mercy, dabbing some ointment to try and cool the burning and then wrapping up the fresh tattooed marks in cloth.
“They will sting for a few days. Keep it covered and treated,” the man murmured, “The pain will eventually fade,”
Sukuna tried to muster a glare, but his expression was more broken than anything as he was pulled from the table. He was returned a small bit of coin back, not even a quarter of the fortune he had before and unceremoniously dumped back into the streets. The sun was low in the sky by then and the streets busy with people getting their last bit of shopping and business concluded before heading off to their homes.
He stood there with his hands wrapped about his small bit of coin and feeling so helpless. The world felt to massive and the feeling of power he once held felt shattered at his feet. For the first time in a long time, Sukuna wanted to just curl up and cry, to scream, and rush into the arms of master Kotarou who would tell him it was okay.
But his master, the only man he called father was dead. The woman he thought a mother, cold in the ground long before that, and the mother and father who were his flesh and blood, they-
“Sukuna!”
He jerked at the sound of his name and turned quickly, eyes wide as he caught sight of Yuuji.
He was sitting across from the guard post, head down and hands tight on his knees as Ahoto leaned up against his leg with soft whines. Sukuna could tell he had been crying. Yuuji liked to pretend he was above crying at his age, but the brat had a gentle heart that could be torn in every which way, especially when it concerned Sukuna.
Seeing Yuuji there though at least made the burning about his wrists worth it as he sidled over, rubbing at the fresh marks currently covered in thick gauze to stem the bleeding. Yuuji was already on his feet, moving to cup Sukuna’s face, eyes wide as he noticed the tears, “Sukuna,” he said softly, “Why did you-”
“I see you were having yourself a pity party while I was getting marked,” Sukuna commented dryly trying to make light of the situation despite how his voice broke, “Get everything out?”
Yuuji gave a shake of his head with a sniffle as he dried at his eyes and glanced away, “You didn’t have to step in like that Sukuna,” he murmured, “I was the one that got accused and-”
“It was a bullshit accusation,” Sukuna interrupted with a wobbly scowl, “I would not let you get hurt,”
Yuuji’s gaze dropped down to the heavy gauze and the slight stain of blood that had bled through the cloth, “You got hurt though,”
“It will fade away quickly enough,” Sukuna paused, eyeing Yuuji with a small frown, “I did this to spare you the pain. Remember that. What I do, I do so you don’t have to be the one to endure this, like I can endure it. I’m use to this and how people see me,”
There was a flinch in Yuuji’s expression at that and he looked away again, “Sukuna I could have handled-”
“You could have handled it? Really?” Sukuna interrupted, “Would you have been able to handle people looking at you like some sort of monster? Something that doesn’t deserve to be alive?”
Yuuji swallowed hard before he moved to pull Sukuna into a hug, “I’m sorry,” he said softly, “I just...I just didn’t want to make things worse,”
Sukuna blinked before he was clutching Yuuji back just as tightly, “It would have been fine,” he murmured, “All of this could have been avoided if you would have let me handle it. You need to be strong enough to accept some people deserve to get hurt,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, “I’m sorry you got hurt Sukuna. I dnd’t want you to,”
“I would get hurt for you, Yuuji,” Sukuna said, cupping his companion’s face gently, “And it is just a small thing,”
Yuuji’s gaze fell to the wrappings about Sukuna’s wrist and there was guilt on his face instead of that defiance that Sukuna was starting to find irritating. The guilt was good. It made Yuuji more pliant to his words at the very least. Sukuna smiled, letting his hand slide down to take Yuuji’s in his own, “Next time, neither of us get hurt because you let me handle things, yes?”
The response was a small nod, a note of hesitance in the gesture, “Okay,” Yuuji said softly, “Just, if you can, harming someone really bad is a last resort,”
“I’ll make the call on that for what the situation is, my dear Yuuji,” Sukuna said with a soft sigh, “Or do you like seeing me get hurt to protect you?”
“Of course not!” Yuuji blurted out, “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I never have!”
“Then let me make the calls on the situation. You are too naive, too much of a brat to really understand it all,” Sukuna said softly, feeling that sliver of anger edge into his words through his own tears, “Just let me take care of it,”
Yuuji always wore his emotions on his sleeves, that much Sukuna knew. The brat didn’t like to see people hurt and it was something to be used against him as needed. Perhaps Sukuna felt a small kernel of guilt for such manipulation of Yuuji’s emotions, but it was really for the best for both of them. It would be easier to keep them both safe if he wasn’t bound to Yuuji’s ideas of morals. He just needed Yuuji’s permission and for him to let him act.
Even if he did hate how Yuuji was avoiding making eye contact, shoulders hunched up and on edge like a scorned dog.
A sigh escaped Sukuna as he leaned in to bump his forehead against Yuuji’s own, “How about we just find ourselves a nice, small village to call home and find some honest work like you want to try for a while,” he suggested, as always, making small concessions to make Yuuji see him as the rational one between the two of them, “Would that ease that worry in your brow?”
“Yeah,” Yuuji said, finally looking towards Sukuna with a hint of his usual smile, “I would like to try it for a bit at least,”
“A bit,” Sukuna agreed.
Yuuji moved to slip his hands back into Sukuna’s own and leaned up to steal a quick kiss in the fading light, “You promise you’ll try for a quieter life with me?”
“I’ll try, but I think the city life has rubbed off on me,” Sukuna warned with a hint of his own smile after that kiss.
He would try for Yuuji to tamp his own nature down of course, but as always he would continue to go his own way. Eventually they would find their way back to what Sukuna wanted as soon as this whole thing blew up in Yuuji’s face as always. Sukuna knew he had to be patient for a little while.
“Let’s get going. I really don’t want to linger in this city,” Sukuna grumbled, “Especially when I want nothing more than to splatter that servant,”
“No killing,” Yuuji said with a huff, “We don’t kill anyone,”
Sukuna smiled, “Of course. Why would I kill anyone?” he asked innocently despite the bodies that were left rotting in his wake.
Yuuji had no clue though of those corpses and only smiled, content in his knowledge that the Sukuna he saw had done no such crime. Violent and rough at times, but still the boy he loved. The only one in this world that cared for him. He gave a squeeze to Sukuna’s hands before starting to tug him along.
“Then let’s go,” he said softly, “The three of us, again on the road, off to find a home where we belong,”
The idea of home though was not what Sukuna was thinking of as they left the city behind. His wrists throbbed with the reminder of what carelessness and Yuuji’s naive views had done. His gaze was set ahead, narrowed and contemplative on how he would never let that happen again.
Next time those who crossed him would not survive, that he vowed.
Yuuji would forgive him. He was sure of that.
And if not, he would make it so Yuuji had no choice but to forgive him, and that thought was a pleasing one that had Sukuna smiling to himself as he walked hand in hand with his companion along the road as the darkness of night began to fall at last.
Notes:
Sukuna got two of his tattoos in place...will have to see how the others come about. What could go wrong with trying to live an honest life?
Chapter 8: Rift
Notes:
Sorry for the delay! This was a HUGE chapter to write and a lot to get done and set up for things going forward in this story. A warning as this one has some graphic gore scenes...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Even without the toll of the bell to signal the start of the day, without fail, Yuuji was up with the sun as if it was in his blood to be there to greet it no matter the season. He was always the first to wake, stretching out and yawning loudly before rolling out of bed to go about getting the morning meal. Once the smell of food was in the air though, that was what would finally tempt Sukuna to awake.
He was always slow to rise, rubbing one hand over his face as all four eyes blinked one at a time in the dim grey light of early dawn. Early enough that the chill of night still clung to everything as he sat up slowly with a loud double yawn from both mouths.
The sound had Yuuji letting out a chuckle from where he was crouched beside the fire, stirring their simple millet porridge about, “Morning Sukuna,”
“I should say good night for how it is still bloody dark outside still,” Sukuna groaned.
“The sun is up!”
“Barely,” Sukuna said around another yawn as he rose to his feet and shuffled over to sit on the bench near the fire.
“Barely is good enough,” Yuuji said with a shake of his head, “Besides, we have to get the plowing done!”
Sukuna couldn’t hide a grimmace at that, glancing away, “Right. Plowing,”
The two had settled down for the pass three years in a speck of a village far away from the city at Yuuji’s urging. He had said it would be best for both of them to live away from the cloying grip of the more populated areas and Sukuna had only agreed as Yuuji seemed so set for this life.
A simple life of a peasant, plowing fields and growing their own food without much care for anything bigger or grander than their speck of land.
That was how Yuuji liked it. It wasn’t how Sukuna liked it, but he endured the dull life if only because it seemed to please Yuuji so much.
Sukuna muffled a yawn as he took his bowl of porridged out to the small porch of their ramshackle home, having to duck through the doorway given his height now at the age of eighteen. He leaned up against the side of it, scooping up bits of millet porridge and swallowing down the flavorless swill as he watched the sun continue to creep over the land.
Just as it had day in and day out.
All of this was a repetitive life that left Sukuna grinding his teeth. Three years was a long time for them to be in one spot. Any moment, Sukuna was waiting for it to come apart so they could move on to something better, and yet fate seemed to mock him by making every year as simple and boring as the last.
“You know, glaring at the field isn’t going to make it plow itself,” Yuuji said with a small, teasing smile on his lips as he joined Sukuna on the porch.
“And I could just leave you to do it yourself because I’m sick of doing it every year,” Sukuna drawled as he looked down at Yuuji.
That earned him an eye roll from Yuuji who gave a small swat against the taller man’s arm, “We get it done fast and then you can go lurk about the forest like you usually do to look for some curses to destroy,”
Sukuna snorted, looking back out over the fields, “I could be ripping apart more dangerous curses for actual payment near a city,”
“As if taking out ancient curses older than the land hasn’t given you a reputation as a powerful sorcerer,”
Sukuna snorted at that, rolling all four eyes as he lifted the bowl to take a small sip of his porridge.
At eighteen years old both had come into adulthood at last and what remnants of youth had faded away.
There was little left of those wide-eyed boys that had wandered the countryside and the past three years had only worked to sharpen muscles and fill out both of them. Much to Yuuji’s irritation, Sukuna had made good on his promise to grow taller than Yuuji. Not just taller, but to tower over Yuuji with a good two feet now on him. In fact, Sukuna towered over most people now, a giant that stood out in a crowd along with broad shoulders and muscles that were only hardened with labor.
Whereas Yuuji had gained a softer edge to him with a bright smile and lithe frame, Sukuna was all hard angles and a perpetual scowl on his face when around others. It was only around Yuuji that those edges softened and a softer smile could touch his lips.
Even now, he couldn’t help that slight smile as he raised a hand to ruffle Yuuji’s hand lightly, “I’d rather do that than having to talk endlessly with the entire village,”
“It isn’t that bad, Sukuna,” Yuuji said with a sigh, giving him a small glance with a smile, “You wouldn’t hate it so much if you at least tried to talk to people,”
Sukuna smiled, although it was an empty fake thing plastered on his face to simply appease Yuuji, “Maybe,”
Maybe was always a safe answer with Yuuji. It settled the conversation although every maybe for Sukuna was always a silent no because he hadn’t yet found it in himself to simply say no to Yuuji. It was easier to play shy or give Yuuji a sense of false hope he would become social rather than just admit he hated the villagers.
Since the moment they had arrived, it was more than obvious that Yuuji was favored by everyone he met. They would smile for Yuuji and be eager to talk to him and act as if everything Yuuji said was interesting. When those eyes fell on Sukuna though, there was a guarded look and inevitably, their eyes fell to those black rings about his wrist. That was enough for them to go into polite conversation with faded, broken smiles and always make excuses not to talk to Sukuna. Which was fine by him as he didn’t care to talk to people who stared at him like that.
How he wish he could make them advert their gazes and not dare to look at him like that.
Those judging gazes were there all his life of course, but it was in adulthood that he could feel them.
Master Kotarou had told him such gazes were from a place of misunderstandings and that in time, he would be accepted. Yuuji told him one day people would accept him for all that he did for the village as it was Sukuna’s hunting of curses that let them enjoy peace like this. There would come a time when he would find a place where he was accepted without judgment.
And yet, as Sukuna stood there watching the dawn come, his gaze dropped to the black marks about his wrists and that urge to hide them away and show his unmarked wrists instead burned with him as well as the hatred that it was just another part of him that needed to be hidden away. Like his arms. His mouth. His eyes. All the things he was born with that were too alarming for the world to ever really accept.
Three years of growing up had only confirmed to Sukuna that no matter how quiet a life he lived, no matter how he tried to fit in, he seemed fated to be alone.
Except for one soul in his life that meant everything now.
“Well, the fields won’t plow themselves no matter how much we look at them,” Yuuji said with a sigh as he hopped down off the porch to slip into his shoes, “Let’s get to it yeah?”
“Yeah,” Sukuna murmured, “Let’s get to it,”
The plowing never took long. Between the two of them, they had the strength of a herd of plow animals and a stubborn streak that meant no root or rock would slow them down. Sukuna practically could do the whole field on his own before noon as he had the extra hands to pull the heavy plow. The combined fact of them doing the plowing so early and Sukuna wearing a kimono with longer sleeves just to hide the fact he had four powerful arms to put to use meant no one had really questioned why the two could get their fields ready so fast. Sukuna barely even felt the weight of the plow as he plodded along, his thoughts ruminating on other things. Occasionally he would give a glance to where Yuuji was moving along, all eager and bright-eyed as if this was the most entertainment he had in years, but then, Yuuji always seemed to be the most excited when he could work on anything with his hands. He took to farming like a crane to water.
Between the two, the field was plowed in record time and ready to be planted when the danger of the frost finally passed leaving the rest of the day to do as they please.
What each of them found entertaining had only grow more different as they had grown into adulthood.
“You know, you could come with me into the village proper to have some lunch. I can pack for two,”
Sukuna didn’t look up from where he was lounged on his side, eyes closed and sunning himself with his back to Yuuji. A thin frown was on his lips as his soul all but curdled at the thought of sitting there and having to hear the villagers heap praise upon Yuuji and act like he was a little saint that had blessed their village.
“I have other work to do,”
The clanking of the pot stopped and he knew Yuuji was staring at his back. Sukuna didn’t even have to look over his shoulder to know the look Yuuji was probably giving him, all pout and puffed up. It had Sukuna frowning even more as he lifted a hand to wave at Yuuji.
“There is a dangerous curse lurking about. Probably what has been causing the murders and deaths along the way towards this village,” He said, although he really had no idea if that was the case, “I’m going to see if I can’t find it first,”
“You want me to go with you?” Yuuji asked.
Sukuna snorted, this time smirking, “You can, but you’ll just be there to watch me rip it apart before you can take a step towards it,”
He sat up then, turning to look at Yuuji who was frowning and there was a flush to his cheeks. Sukuna could only grin as he reached out to poke him, “What is with that face brat? Don’t like it when I point out that there isn’t just a difference in height between us, but skill?”
Yuuji swatted at his hand as he looked away with a frown, “There isn’t a different in skill. I’m just as good as you,” he snapped back, pouting the entire time, “Just because you slice and dice doesn’t mean my fists can’t rip a few curses apart too!”
“If you spent as much time figuring out what your technique even is as you do socializing with everyone, maybe you would catch up,” Sukuna said with a smirk as he stretched out, cracking his knuckles, “You don’t even know what you can do other than punch and yell,”
Yuuji let out a sigh and gave a roll of his eyes, “You are relentless in wanting to be an antisocial idiot,” he grumbled.
Sukuna just grinned as he leaned in, stealing a quick kiss from Yuuji’s lips, “At least you’ll always be confident in knowing I’ll always be yours as I won’t be swayed by the gentle words of any voluptuous maidens,”
Such actions were always quick to melt away Yuuji’s concerns, Sukuna had found. His affection was always enough to have a quirk of a smile returning to his partner’s face and the tension easing out of Yuuji’s shoulders. Of course, Yuuji still sighed as his hands reached up to ruffle gently through Sukuna’s hair, but he couldn’t help a small smile, “That is something we can both rely on,”
“Really? Because sometimes I get jealous when you talk to other people more than me,” Sukuna said with a low drop to his voice.
Yuuji gave a roll of his eyes, “I’m just friendly Sukuna, geeze. You know for a fact I’m practically glued to your side, just as we were as kids,”
A sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips as he once more stood up on tiptoes to press a kiss to Sukuna’s lips, “Just come home without looking like you went on a warpath against those curses, all right?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll bring home some wild game perhaps to add something more to dinner than just millet,” Sukuna said with a smile, bumping his forehead to Yuuji, “I love you, sunshine,”
Those three words were enough to make Yuuji’s face go bright red and he all but covered his face, although managed a muffled, “I love you too,” from behind his fingers.
It was enough to have Sukuna laughing as he drew away and turned to head out into the woods.
The woods were the one escape that remained for Sukuna in this dull life. Under the dark bows of the trees, old curses and country curses lurked about, all the more eager to feed. As more travel and bandits moved into the area, so too did more curses arrive. They migrated, following any slip of negative energy for a place to settle. Some were more powerful, like those curse that came of the natural ways of the earth, like the once powerful landslide curse that had loomed over the village before Sukuna had decided to take it upon himself to remove.
One by one, he had put his talents against curses of various power levels, taking them out with growing ease with each battle. Now, the curses that did linger about were small ones not worth his time or some wandering curse that would be confident for all of the one minute it took for Sukuna to cut it into pieces. Sometimes he didn’t even mean to do more than one cut, but the weak things made it impossible to hold back.
The hunting of curses was no longer satisfying Sukuna and he yearned for a more exciting life. Even now as he wandered through the woods along familiar paths and checking out the usual areas some migrating curse might hunker down, he didn’t feel any thrill for what he was doing.
At least though, there was no one here to judge him or eyes to stare at him where he was helpless to do anything to make it stop.
It was easier to keep those vicious thoughts of gouging out the eyes of the entire village to himself and away from where Yuuji might show concern for his black mood.
Sukuna let out a frustrated sign, raising a hand letting his fingers fall and cutting deep into the trunk of a nearby tree. Not enough to topple it, but the ragged mark had Sukuna frowning some. It was if it mocked him that here he was, out in some little slop heap of a village, where all he could do was lash out at some trees.
It had him grinding his teeth, hands clenching tight and wishing some damn curse would show up. He soon found himself slinking back towards their home, barely giving a glance as Ahoto gave a small bark as he meandered at the edge of the woods, no doubt looking for some rabbit to chase.
At least the damn dog still seemed to find some entertainment around here.
“Sukuna!”
The call of his name had Sukuna jolted out of his thoughts and he turned to see Yuuji sprinting up to him. There was excitement gleaming in Yuuji’s eyes which had Sukuna’s stomach sinking as he could already imagining the invitation to dinner they had just received.
“I thought you were in town?” Sukuna commented, plastering on his usual smile.
“I was, but, guess there is something big going on,”
Yuuji was out of breath, eyes wide with an excited gleam as he came up beside Sukuna. Already his hands were wrapping about one of Sukuna’s arms and giving a small tug, “The lord of the land is coming to visit!”
Sukuna could not hide his grimace then as he looked away, “Why is that a good thing? Have we not been kicked in the face by nobles enough in our lifetime Yuuji?”
There was an irritating sigh already on Yuuji’s lip and Sukuna felt a black feeling curl up in his chest when Yuuji shot him a look that bordered on disapproving, as he did when Sukuna voiced an opinion that Yuuji, more and more it seemed, was not agreeing with.
“Not like Lord Yaga-sama lives here or come by often, Sukuna. He barely counts as nobility and has always been more than fair in making sure no one goes hungry,” Yuuji retorted, “And he is coming here to honor us, well, more to honor you, as you are the one who does the heavy lifting against curses,”
“To honor me,” Sukuna repeated, unable to keep a slight sneer from his lips, “If he saw me, what I really am, like everyone else, he would draw away. Just seeing these marks, he will already assume the worse of me,”
Yuuji winced as Sukuna held up his arms, letting the sleeves fall back to reveal the black rings about them that marked him as a thief. Still, Yuuji raised his hand, curling his hands about them, rubbing over the marks as if to assure Sukuna he cared little for what they meant.
“People can’t accept you if you never let them see who you are Sukuna,”
“And what if who I am is more terrifying than even they imagine?”
There was a moment of silent as Yuuji rubbed over the marks. There was flicker of something in his gaze, something unsure as if Yuuji himself was harboring something inside him. The moment though passed quickly and Yuuji’s expression fell into something softer, something sader as he let his hands slid down Sukuna’s arms and up to his shoulders. From there, they curled about Sukuna, pulling him close and offered that soft smile that fought so hard to contain the monstrous beast that lurked somewhere in Sukuna’s chest.
“You aren’t bad unless you set out to do bad, Sukuna. Isn’t that what we were always taught? No one is just born wrong,”
Sukuna could almost laugh at those sentiments. Another part of him wished that it was as Yuuji said. The darker part of him was snickering and sneering, wanting to tell Yuuji all the things he did so that Yuuji could have his happiness and live in his fool’s paradise. It would no doubt break Yuuji to have to see that. Something in Sukuna relished that very idea even if it was only a whisper at the back of his mind.
“Maybe,” Sukuna settled on.
“Always maybe with you,” Yuuji said with a sigh as he leaned up to kiss him, “When will you stop sitting on the fence and just tell me things straight?”
“When I want to break you and hurt you,” Sukuna teased with a grin, ruffling his hair, “You never could handle me at my worse,”
Yuuji gave a huff, leaning up on his tiptoes to once more steal a kiss with a near pout, “I could handle you at any level, Sukuna. I know you better than anyone. I’ve seen you your entire life!”
Sukuna just chuckled, wearing his smile to hide the grimace that wanted to bleed through and the cruel words that wanted to spill out of his mouth to tell Yuuji he only knew him for the spotlights of his life.
There was so much more he hadn’t been there to witness.
“But all that aside, I want you to come with me and be there when Yaga-sama visits,” Yuuji murmured as he took one of Sukuna’s hand to nuzzle against it lightly, “How could that moment mean anything to me if you aren’t there to share it with me?”
That look was one that Sukuna could never say no to and Yuuji knew it. Anyone who thought that the usual happy go-lucky brat wasn’t able to get up to lies and mischief truly underestimated Yuuji. After all, Yuuji had grown up on the same streets as Sukuna and although he was still a naive fool in some regards, there was a charisma to Yuuji that let him get away with more than his fair share.
Sukuna couldn’t hold back a sigh, letting his hand cup Yuuji’s face gently.
“I’m only doing this for you and as soon as I can leave, I will,” Sukuna grumbled.
“All I ask of you,” Yuuji agreed as he turned to press a kiss to the palm and then over the black marks on his wrist, “It will be a good time!”
Sukuna had to bite back a comment that he doubted it would. It never was. Sukuna was just good at wearing a mask to hide every dark emotion from Yuuji. He knew very well the people of the village were more likely to look at him like some sort of villain and whisper about how someone like Yuuji had become attached to someone who looked so ill-tempered.
At one point, Sukuna would have found such comments disheartening and try to change it.
Now, he didn’t see a point in trying to cover up everything about himself. Maybe he had just grown too tired to care what the world was going to make of him and all it would take was one more event, one more push before he let his fangs be bared.
For now though, as long as Yuuji loved him, what was the point of having others have any feeling for him?
Thus he let Yuuji take his hand and drag him reluctantly into the village, faking a smile and telling himself he was just going to make his partner happy. That was all.
The little village was wild with excitement as they reached the center. Any visitor, grand or small, was worth celebrating as there was little reason to ever come out to this speck of a village. Even the bandits didn’t care much to visit the place as it had nothing to steal. No temples stood there, no grand shrines or huge mansions. The place was as far from civilization as possible, just how Yuuji wanted it and how Sukuna despised it. As the two entered, immediately Sukuna had to bite back his ire as a sneer was tugging at his lips. The villagers were so very eager to greet Yuuji with smiles and when they looked at the looming figure of Sukuna, those smiles faltered a bit and their manners were more polite than genuine. There eyes darted away, not wanting to meet his gaze, or their eyes drifted down to the dark rings about his wrist. Sukuna fought the urge to try and cover them up or try to switch out which pair of arms were out as a slow shame clawed at him.
That feeling only cause other darker feelings to listlessly roil in his soul.
Especially the dark feeling of anger that had started to grow that was directed at Yuuji. Something about how easily it was for Yuuji to be cared for and adopted into the village life ate at Sukuna. Fate put them together to grow up but had blessed Yuuji with the sunlight and the warmth people were drawn so eagerly to. For Sukuna, it felt like no matter what he did, it was if people knew something wasn’t right with him. That he wasn’t as perfect as they wanted.
It made some dark jealousy burn in Sukuna and all he wanted to do was keep all Yuuji’s warmth for himself, spirited away in their home, doing as he wanted, and not letting so many people see him.
What would happen if Yuuji were to grow attached to someone?
What would happen if Yuuji left him?
Those angry, viciously possessive thoughts circled in Sukuna’s mind as he trailed silently after Yuuji, hands tucked into the wide sleeves of his kimono, a glare touching his face whenever his better half’s gaze was turned away from him.
“You could smile a little bit Sukuna,” Yuuji murmured, dropping back to give him a light elbow, “Being out in public isn’t a death sentence,”
“You know I don’t like people looking at me,”
A sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips, “I know, but not everyone is staring at you, you know. Some people just glance at you,”
Sukuna snorted, “Sure. Because I don’t tower over everyone like a sore thumb,”
“Hey, you asked to be taller than me. You brought that on yourself,” Yuuji said with a grin.
That brought a small twitch of a smile to his lips as they headed towards the center of the village where a small feast was being prepared for the arrival of Lord Yaga-sama, “True. It is worth it to be able to use you as an arm rest,”
“You try and I’m going to bite you,” Yuuji retorted with a huff, “You stupid tall behemoth!”
Sukuna just smirked cheekily, “Sounds fun,”
Oh that had Yuuji’s face going red and he swatted at Sukuna who only laughed and took a step back to dodge the harmless hits, “Sukuna! Stop!”
“Relax Yuuji, it isn’t like either of us have gotten beyond a kiss,”
That had Yuuji’s face falling just a tad, as if he was keeping something to himself as he gave a small glance away, “That’s true but, when it happens, you’ll be my first, right?”
That had Sukuna flushing even as he felt the burn of that lie he kept as to what had happened to Yuuji, “Yeah, of course. Why would I share it with anyone else but you?”
Yuuji smiled at that, leaning against Sukuna, “And any time before doesn’t count if you don’t remember it right?”
The comment gave Sukuna pause and he felt something terrified rising in his chest as he glanced sideways at Yuuji. A question was burning in his chest as Yuuji stared up at him his gaze almost pleading with Sukuna. It was if he wanted his lover to assure him of something. As if Yuuji was aware of what happened so long ago.
Or knew enough to have that look of shame and hurt creeping at the edge of his eyes.
Sukuna swallowed before he gave a more geunine smile to Yuuji, raising a hand to cup his face, “It will only count when we agree to it,” he assured him.
“Yeah, of course,” Yuuji murmured, leaning into that touch, “And I will of course remember,”
“How could you ever forget me, Yuuji?” Sukuna said as he lifted a hand to ruffle his hair, “We share one soul practically, my sunlight,”
The response had Yuuji relaxing, giving one of those gentle smiles that reminded Sukuna that not all in this world was buried in wretched existence. There was still something worth caring about. Something to still fight for and treasure in that smile Yuuji shared with only him.
If they weren’t in public, he would have scooped Yuuji up with all four arms to kiss him.
“Thank you Sukuna, my moon,” Yuuji murmured, daring to brush lips against the palm of the hand he held, “Never forget me either. You promise?”
“Never,” Sukuna promised with a rare smile.
The two arrived in the center of the village just as a modest carriage pulled up. Clearly a noble’s carriage, but it lacked the usual gaudiness of many others Sukuna had seen. As far as nobles went, Yaga-sama was not the worse out there by any stretch of the imagination. The man stood rigid and tall, a stern face that looked like it would book no argument. Yet for his stern demeanor, he was not a man known to starve a village by taking more than his fair share. He took what was needed, making sure all had enough for the winter and was even known to dip into his own stores to ensure the villages were fed.
He was the sort of altruistic soul that Yuuji looked up to with a quiet sort of adoration while Sukuna had to bite his tongue, suspicious of the motives a noble would have to be so kind to those below him.
The noble stepped to the ground, sharing a dip of the head to the bowing village elders, “So, where is the guardians that you have spoken of so much of?”
“Oh, Yuuji Itadori is over there, that young man,” The elder said wit ha smile.
“And Sukuna Ryoumen,” Yuuji pipped up with a slight frown, “In fact he does most of the work. You won’t find a sorcerer who is more in control of his talents than Sukuna,”
Sukuna had to keep from rolling his eyes and scowling. It was a common thing for the village elders to think so highly of Yuuji to the point they thought he did everything. Yet for all their attempts, Yuuji would never stop singing Sukuna’s praise.
Yuuji always made sure that it was known that they never worked alone.
Yaga-sama gave a small nod, regarding the two as he approached. The nobleman folded his hands within his sleeve before giving a small bow before the two, “Your work has made these lands safer and for that, I am grateful. With so many bandit groups and curses running wild, it is rare to have two sorcerers to take such a task onto themselves with no desire of payment,”
Sukuna wanted to snort a that. If he had his way, they would get some compensation but Yuuji insisted the work itself and the thanks was enough. Now really it was just the ability to slaughter something that kept Sukuna from wanting to snap at everyone.
“It is nothing!” Yuuji said with a smile and deep bow back, something Sukuna didn’t do as he crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing Yaga with clear distrust, “We are just grateful to have a place to live in peace. Life hasn’t been kind to either of us,”
“I can tell,” Yaga said, his gaze flicking over Sukuna’s posture, “But tonight we will hold this feast in yoru honor and I would like to gift you some extra stores of food for your efforts,”
That had Sukuna cocking an eyebrow, although he knew they wouldn’t keep it. He could already hear Yuuji’s argument later about how they needed to split it up to share with everyone’s and their dog. Hell, their own dog, the ragged mutt that still clung to their heels to this day wasn’t fed as good as the rest of the village.
“You are too generous!” Yuuji said with a sincere and grateful bow of his head and a bright smile.
“It is the least I can do for what you do for us,” Yaga said with a dip of his head, “Let everyone share in the bounty that you have allowed to flourish,”
The feast itself seemed so small to the ones Sukuna had witnessed in the inn. It barely had any fine dishes or foods that were too grand showing that Yaga-sama, for a noble, didn’t possess the wealth of many other nobles around them. It was almost pathetic really and just spoke how being an altruistic soul barely kept anyone out of starvation. Yuuji of course acted like it was a grand thing, talking to everyone and all wide-eyed as he listened to Yaga-sama talk about the various going-ons out side the village. Sukuna sat their solemnly, sipping at sake that tasted like it had been taken from its casket before it had been allowed to properly age, hating the whole affair and take a look over the dishes that had been laid out for the guests of honor at Yaga-sama’s table to use.
Sukuna could almost scoff as he turned over the cup in his hand. It was probably the most expensive part of this whole feast. Just a modest gold cup with a few designs pressed into the side. No doubt the gold though was just covering some lacquer beneath as it was too heavy to be pure gold.
He turned it over a few times before he spirited a pair of the cups into the wide sleeve of his kimono when all eyes were turned away from. He didn’t feel particularly guilty for doing so. If Yuuji was going to give away the rest of what they would receive, he wasn’t above taking a bit more to make sure they could at least have a little something more than the rest.
Old habits of the street died hard for Sukuna and if he was already marked as a thief, there was no point in trying to deny it at this point.
For all he had to sit there and endure Yuuji talking the ear off everyone and anyone at that feast, indulging in being around others, Sukuna felt he deserved some proper compensation. He hated every moment of this and he knew he wasn’t keeping it off his face as sat there, chin in his palm and tapping a finger against his cheek in hopes Yuuji would wrap this up and they could go home where it was just them.
Just them, just like how Sukuna preferred it, where Yuuji depended on him.
Sukuna didn’t linger longer than he had to. He took his leave as soon as he could, wandering down the streets towards their home. He only paused at a small yip and Ahote scampered up with a hopeful wag of the tail. The mutt probably had been sitting out patiently waiting for small scraps to be brought out. The last time Yuuji had brought the dog to a party, the gluttonous thing had invited himself onto the table to cause an incident. Sukuna had found it hilarious and Yuuji had been begging an apology from the elder for weeks after that one.
Sukuna smirkedand crouched down to ruffle the head of the dog before slipping a few pieces of fish to Ahoto who happily scarfed it down.
“Always remember who gets you the good stuff, zasshu,” Sukuna murmured, giving an affectionate rub to the dogs back.
Ahoto gave a small bark, tail wagging before he was prancing along beside Sukuna as he rose to his feet and continued towards their home. The village was quiet this late at night with almost everyone still at the village center. Sukuna let out a sigh, allowing all four eyes to open and even his second pair of arms to slip out. Without eyes on him, he could just be himself, not taking great pains to hide every oddity of his humanity.
His mind idly drifted to the stolen cups. It would be best to pawn then off sooner than later which meant a trip to the nearest town. Sukuna was sure he could swing going there tomorrow, telling Yuuji they needed to get more seeds or something to sharpen the plow for next season.
Yuuji hated to leave the village. Whenever there was a need for them go out, Yuuji was the first to drag his feet and grow tetchy about the whole thing, grumbling they could wait for the rare trader to come by.
What Yuuji hated more was Sukuna going on such trips to the city alone despite the fact it was one of the rare times Sukuna felt eager for a task. It sometimes felt like Yuuji was more fearful about something happening and that he needed to keep Sukuna in sight. It grated some on Sukuna’s nerves, but for all they butted heads on it, in the end, he always got his way.
It would be a bit of a squabble, as it always was, but Sukuna had no doubt Yuuji would relent and leave him to meander to the nearest city.
Sukuna opened the door to their home, pausing to let Ahoto run in before he moved to his bed. He stretched out on it and let the kimono fall away to pool at his hips. He let all four arms stretch out before him, rolling his shoulders and letting out a sigh before flopping onto his side. He didn’t let himself fall asleep. As always, he would stay awake as long as it took for Yuuji to arrive home which wouldn’t be long.
As soon as his partner saw he was missing, Yuuji would make his final rounds of goodbyes to everyone before taking his own leave.
Yuuji always followed him in the end. That was simply how things were.
Right on cue, there was a scuffling at the door and the low grumbles of Yuuji’s voice before he quietly entered. He stood in the doorway a moment before he shut and latched the door. After a moment, Sukuna was aware of Yuuji laying down in his own bed beside him and could practically feel his gaze in his back.
“You didn’t have to leave so early,” Yuuji murmured.
“Wanted to get some sleep as I have to go into the larger town tomorrow,” Sukuna said simply, “The seed count was lower than what we need,”
Yuuji shifted in the dark some before his hands rose up to rub lightly at Sukuna’s back, “I see,” he said softly, “but still-”
“It wasn’t even as grand as what we’ve seen before Yuuji. There wasn’t the extravagance. It was nothing more than a little festival if anything,” Sukuna interrupted, eyes closed with a frown, “And the elders were staring me down the whole time,”
“They are just old farts who don’t get anything,” Yuuji retorted, resting his head against Sukuna’s back, “They don’t know why you got those marks, that it was all a lie. We stole to survive and that was it. We put those days behind us,”
Sukuna could have laughed at how naive Yuuji was. Yuuji had put that behind because he could. Sukuna never gave it up because it kept them well fed and brought in a few extra coins to give them at least some comforts in this peasant life they were living for the past few years. The gold cups, wrapped up in Sukuna’s discarded kimono would be what got them a bit of extra seed, a little more to spend on equipment, and a bit of extra cushion when times would undoubtedly be harsh again.
“I don’t care what they think Yuuji,” And at least those words were true in Sukuna’s mind.
“I know it bothers you when they don’t acknowledge you,” Yuuji said softly, as ever, able to pick through to the truth in his own way, stumbling upon it, “You are strong Sukuna. The strongest sorcerer I’ve ever seen,”
“Say that to me when I unlock a domain,”
Yuuji moved to wrap his arms about Sukuna, “I’ll say it now too. Domain or not, you are powerful,”
Sukuna frowned in the darkness before he let out a sigh and rolled over, letting all four arms pull Yuuji close, “You are too kind, you know that right? Do you ever worry that that kindness will bite you back?”
“If I feared every hand held out to me, I would be a very lonely and bitter soul, now wouldn’t I?” Yuuji said with a teasing tone to his voice, “I’d rather try than be stuck with always wondering about what ifs,”
“You are an idiot,” Sukuna murmured.
Yuuji gave a shrug as he closed his eyes, holding Sukuna close, “Maybe. But even idiots learn harsh lessons, but I don’t want that to make the world bad. We were taught better than that,”
Sukuna frowned as he rested his head on top of Yuuji’s own. He wanted to retort to such words as they were the words of dead monks who were slaughtered for those ideals. Those were the words that had them starving in the streets for years for the simple fact that no one wanted them or could afford to help them. The world had taught them cruelty, and yet Yuuji still so stubbornly had to believe there was kindness.
It was foolish and it made Sukuna wish he could somehow break those ideals Yuuji held if just to make him see the truth of everything.
He let his arms curl a bit tighter around Yuuji and fell to his usual reply.
“Maybe,”
The next day came with Sukuna rising at his usual time, although he settle to pack his supplies for the trip to come. The hike into the nearest town was two days by foot and two days back. Not a terrible distance, but enough that Sukuna knew Yuuji would be fretting over him the whole time.
“You are sure you packed everything you needed?” Yuuji asked as he stood at the doorway of their home, “Enough water and food?”
“If I didn’t I’m sure you did,” Sukuna teased as he adjusted the wide-brimmed hat on his head before picking up his walking stick that doubled as a weapon if necessary, “I’ll be fine. Really, what could possibly come after me?”
“Some horrible and ancient curse?”
Sukuna smirked, “Brat, I’m practically their king. I’ll give them a glare and bring them to heel and if they dared to bare fangs, I’ll rip them apart,”
Yuuji rolled his eyes, “Oh yes, mister king of curses. So very terrifying. Go out and survey your kingdom of wretches and ill will, you sullen, grumpy bastard,”
That only had Sukuna laughing more, leaning in to press a kiss quickly to Yuuji’s lips and letting one hand come up to cup his face, “I won’t be long,” He promised softly, “Four days, three if I can conclude my business quickly and be away,”
“I’ll be here waiting,” Yuuji murmured, “I’ll miss you,”
“You have Ahoto to hug in my place,” Sukuna said with a grin before pulling away, “But I’ll miss you too, my sunlight. The road is too empty without you chattering away like a monkey,”
“Hey! I don’t talk that much!”
“I think you talk so much because the silence puts you on edge,” Sukuna smiled, letting his fingers linger a bit against Yuuji’s hand before he pulled away, “I’ll be back as soon as I can,”
Yuuji nodded, wrapping his arms about him, “Don’t get into trouble, okay?”
“I won’t,” Sukuna said as he raised a hand in farewell as he turned towards the road.
The journey was familiar by now for how often he and Yuuji had ended up traveling in the past. Camping along the roadways at night and keeping out of the way of carriage and traders was second nature at this point. The road from the village was more empty than most though and more mud and packed dirt than the more developed arteries of the empire which made it a bit of a hassle to manuever in the early spring.
The town itself was a bustling place, if a small stop over for most trade. It had just enough going on to require some form of a small wall around it and a slight sprawl of slums and black market that clutched just outside the walls. Sukuna knew the place well enough and knew the owner of the seedy little shops even better.
He made his way along the familiar streets, more at ease in the company of beggars and pickpockets as he stepped into one of the shops that hung at the very edge of the city.
The man at the desk was older, having a few spots of grey in his beard now and losing more of his hair on top, although he hid it under a stately hat. The owner was a sharped eyed sort, more the type to know when to make deals and when to make small talk, if at all. Usually he and Sukuna concluded their business in as few words as possible and the prices were always fair for both parties.
Today, as the man turned the two cups over with a critical eye, he was a bit more talkative, even as he ran a finger over the designs of the cups, “Should I ask where you got such a find?”
“Noble with a bit too much charity for his people,” Sukuna replied with a shrug, “Is it worth anything?”
“I can give you a decent pay for both,” The man lowered the cup, glancing to Sukuna, “You seem to have a knack for finding treasures. Such talents are always being looked for among some parties,”
“Mm,”
The man paused a moment before he leaned in, “I’ve heard tell a lucrative bandit group has arrived in the area. They have taken cities and plunder and are looking for fresh talent in their ranks. Not just the common lot that lay drunk in the gutters,”
Sukuna eyed the man, a slight frown touching his lips, “I don’t have a fond history with bandits,”
“I would say they are less bandits and more a personal army. Even some nobles will pay them to guard lands or rip apart rivals,” The man said with a shrug, “If anything, the wealth would be enough to make any man a noble if he showed the right talent,”
Sukuna’s frowned deepened more in thought.
He didn’t care for bandits, but at the same time, he cared little for nobles or villages when he felt he deserved to grasp onto so much more. That feast in the inn that he shared with Yuuji, where they ate and lounged in comfort always lingered in the back of his mind and how much he wanted to have that life again.
Working in a field wouldn’t get them there.
Sukuna shifted some, fingers drumming against the counter as he went back and forth before he let out a sigh, glancing away, “Where are they recruiting? I’ll at least indulge a look,”
“In the forest to the north, so I was told. An old beggar on the road that way, if you speak to him, tell them you seek to walk with curses and make your fortunes and he’ll show you their camp,” The man slid his payment for the cups to Sukuna, “You didn’t hear it from me. Just some passing gossip, yes?”
Sukuna knew well that meant the bandits had paid for his silence and for him only to speak to anyone whom could be of use. It had Sukuna snorting as he took his coin and straightened up, “Just gossip,” he said as he took his leave.
It was just gossip as long as Sukuna ignored it and went home, but something ate at him and instead of taking the usual route west out of the city, he went by the north road.
It was not hard to find the man indicated. He was ratty old man but held a strength to his form that told Sukuna it was a man use to a scrap or two. He looked Sukuna up and down and seemed more to approve when the black marks on Sukuna’s wrist were observed. He grinned with broken teeth when Sukuna recited the right words and was more than happy to lead the way further into the woods.
The smell of smoke hit Sukuna first, then the glow of a large campfire with other men standing about. With a glance, Sukuna could tell barely any of the men there were of the actual bandit group. Most were young and nervous looking, probably first time petty criminals or just peasants wanting to get their fortunes. The only three men that seemed to be of the group were the beggar that led Sukuna here and two men sitting before the fire with a covered item between them. It wasn’t really unusual. When a bandit group became something of a force to be reckoned with, they often did their recruit with few of their members in case the emperor’s men lay in wait to make arrests and executions.
This was just a small thing and Sukuna could tell with a glance at the two recruiters, that they didn’t much care to be there with the sorry lot that had shown up, hopeful to join.
One of the men had a thin frown on his lips as he regarded the potential recruits while the other seemed almost bored. Both of them fixed their gaze on Sukuna who just stared back with a scowl of his own as he leaned against his stick.
If murderers could smell out their own kind, it was no wonder both men seemed to grin, as if they finally found something in this rabble that drew their interest. One of the two recruiters spat as he rose to his feet, looking about at the group of potential recruits who quickly began to silence as he spoke.
“I’m sure you’ve heard of us. The Forged of Night is not a group that just lets anyone in. We aren’t making small hits after all. No little villages or piss poor pickpocket schemes,” the man said as he cast his gaze around, “And you are going to have to commit to crimes that aren’t just a bit of stealing. We kill. We take what we want. No man, no woman, no child is safe from our raids, do you hear me?”
A few of those there looked nervous, but the promise of wealth gained a few murmurs of acknowledgment. Sukuna remained silent, still frowning as he listened to the overly dramatic speech.
“But if you can make it with us, the lot of you will find wealth and some of you will unlock greater power than you can imagine,” the man rested his hand on the covered item while his cohort smirked wider, “We have here a piece I and my brother, the illustrious leader of our group, stole many years ago, a trophy to show that none stand in our way,”
The man seemed to grin even wider in glee, sharing a look with the other recruiter who just smirked and stepped forward.
“This is also to show you lot that you can’t fear the gods or any deity because you’ll destroy their shrines and temples to get riches,” the other man said with a wicked laugh, “Monks? Priests? All of those holy men, even they don’t get a pass!”
Sukuna felt a prickle of something up his spine. The smoke from the fire and low light it cast seemed to close in, inviting in the darkness of the forest. He stood there, staring at the two men as the tugged the cloth off their trophy.
There was ice in Sukuna’s veins and he felt a numbness wash over him.
It was a golden relic, a statue of one of the many Bodhisattva that were honored, although this one was so familiar. It had to be as Sukuna had polished it many times in his youth. The golden face, now etched with old lines of abuse, the once glimmering facade banged up and spoiled. It was desecrated in a way that showed obvious discontent for something that had been such a sacred treasure in the monastery.
It stared out and Sukuna could only stare back as his hands curled around the staff he held. His hidden second pair of arms curled into fists as he felt his breath catch.
He knew that statue. Knew where in the monastery it had sat. He could remember sitting with Yuuji and polishing it until they saw their own reflections in it. He could even recall Yuuji fawning over himself in it, spiking his hair up and making kissy faces that would put Sukuna in a fit of giggles.
It had been in their childhood and now sat here in the hands of this group of bandits that bragged so openly of their crimes.
The pieces clicked together as Sukuna found himself in a trance as he moved closer to the statue. He couldn’t see his reflection in the statue anymore. The years of abuse had turned the glimmer surface to a rusted brown. The breasts of the statue had been melted off to sell off as some macabre find. The hands of it bent at odd angles and the face, forlorn now, washed away with time to make its smile look like a look of misery.
How Yuuji would have cried to see something of their childhood in such a state.
Sukuna though couldn’t muster up any tears or sadness.
All he felt was a slow building fury as the realization of who these bandits were, that the two grinning men who stood beside the desecrated idol had been there to destroy the only place that had felt like home.
“A pretty thing, isn’t it? Used to be something to really look at at one time,” one of the two bandits said with a grin as they took Sukuna’s silence for awe at their trophy, “Was in a monastery full of treasure with only a handful of empty-headed, pass their prime jujutsu monks. Took our full force to run em off, but eh, worth it,”
“You can get more like this, you know,” The other said, as if he could coax Sukuna to their side, unaware of the building hatred in the young man, “You look like the type who would fit right in with the work we do,”
Sukuna was half aware of the other recruits clustering close in awe. They stared at the wretched idol as if it was something still wonderous, painfully unaware that how it looked was no where near what it had once been. He flicked his gaze over to those dumb faces, mouths agape, and so easily swooned by such a sight that they would do anything for this group.
A bunch of mindless animals to slaughter.
Sukuna stood there as the two who represented the vicious bandit group eyed him up and down, one of them extending a hand with a grin, “So, what do you say? I think you’ll be perfect here. I can tell you aren’t like the rest of this lot. You carry yourself like someone who doesn’t mind blood on his hands,”
A sound rumbled out of Sukuna then, a deep laugh that had no hint of humor and dripped with malice. It had the bandit’s confident smile wanning a bit as he arched an eyebrow, “What’s so funny?”
“That you dare ask me to join your group,” Sukuna said with a grin as he cocked his head, “That you think just because I have killed, that I’m going to be groveling into your group for stolen relics. I only came here out of curiosity. Now though, well, seeing this relic, I have something else in mind,”
The recruiters shared a look, the one who had held out his hand still kept it extended as he looked back at their trophy, “What about this relic?”
“I know where you got it. I lived there,”
That had the bandit starting to withdraw his hand, “You lived there?”
“It was my home. I had to watch it burn and everyone I cared about die in flames,” Sukuna said with a smile as he let his second pair of eyes open, “For years I suffered, all because of that one moment. Oh, how I have held nothing but hate in my souls for those that were there, that destroyed it,”
The bandit’s eyes widened as he stared in horror at that second pair of eyes, “You-”
“That was my home you know. The terror a child feels when everything is burning and watching all those they care about be devoured. It taught me a lesson about how this world works though,” Sukuna brought his hand up, two fingers extended, “How ironic that fate brought us stumbling together so I can finally give you what you deserve,”
A drop of the finger and the bandit’s hand was cut off completely, leaving a bloody stump. His eyes widened and a scream was building in his throat before his head was removed from his body. Sukuna just watched the corpse fall to the ground with a blank, almost bored expression. There were screams of terror around him as he stood there.
Sukuna’s gaze flicked up to meet the wide-eyed gaze of the other recruiter who stumbled back, “Now wait-”
There was no mercy given as Sukuna let his cursed technique cut the man lengthwise from the top of his head to his groin. The two split sides gurgled as they wetly fell to either side like wet slabs of meat. Sukuna watched the body fall, feeling numb inside but he couldn’t help a smile.
The bonfire crackled behind him and the smoke curled around him as he turned now to look at the would-be recruits, wide-eyed, scared things that shuffled back, a few already turning to run. They didn’t make it far. They screamed as their legs were cut at the knees, sending them crashing to the ground, blood pooling out of them even as they whimpered and curled on the ground.
Like pulling the legs off insects really.
Sukuna’s smile grew as he felt his hatred grow. He looked upon the lot before him, all fools, all willing to do as this group would have asked. They were probalby already doomed ot a slaughter.
He could see the fear grow in their expressions as they cowered together as he let all four arms slip out. The light of the fire made the usual blue of Sukuna’s eyes almost red and he couldn’t fight that wide, vicious grin that bloomed on his face that held no humor.
He looked down on them and granted them the only mercy they deserved.
There were screams of terror and shrieks that sounded like animals trying to escape their fate as they were slaughtered. His cursed technique made quick work of human flesh, cutting everything with such precision, it almost felt effortless to Sukuna. Blood sprayed out, looking like glimmering rubies in the crackling firelight.
It reminded Sukuna so much of that night. The screams. The firelight. The blood. The smell of gore and wet, visorial sounds as bodies were opened up like wet sacks of meat.
It mixed with the death of the noble that he ripped to bits with his own teeth. The dead pawn shop owner staring up at the ceiling as he lay headless in his life blood. All the death stretched out before Sukuna until the whole clearing was silent and he could feel himself panting a bit, trembling with what he had done in his wild anger.
A sea of lifeless eyes staring up at him.
Sukuna was half aware he was covered in blood until he went to lick his lips and tasted the crimson liquid. That sharp metallic taste that made the mouth on his stomach lick out some in want of something still so forbidden.
Sukuna lowered his hands to his side, feeling numb as he regarded the corpses on the ground. His mind felt muddled as he turned away from it, eyes flicking now to the statue. It was covered in blood along with the grime of so many years of neglect. It stared back at him with those sad eyes for the horror it had witnessed. Sukuna frowned, hating how those eyes made him think of how Yuuji would look at him with that same expression if he knew what Sukuna had done today.
He raised a hand and with a few cuts, brought the statue crumbling to the ground in pieces too small for it to be of use or to be even displayed as a trophy. He made sure there wasn’t enough of the face to ever behold again.
With its destruction, it felt like a final part of himself was being put to rest as well. The monastery had burned down long ago, but it had lingered for so long in nightmares. Now it was replaced by dead young men who had come out in hopes of wealth and found a vicious end. Sukuna glanced over the scene before he stepped down and walked through it, not looking down at the corpses he stepped on.
The ground would probably become cursed, but that mattered little to Sukuna.
Sukuna walked back down the path and the old beggar startled some to see him covered in blood. The old fool barely could get his mouth open before Sukuna had his mouth cut into an open gash, opening it wide enough for the top of the beggars head to fall back to the ground as his body slumped.
Sukuna idly pushed up his hat, eyeing the road before setting out on his way.
The journey home took longer. Blood clung to Sukuna’s clothes even though he had stopped at several streams to try and wash it. Even when the red stains were gone or faded to things that could simply be red clay, Sukuna still felt as if it was there and would appear to display his crime. He was sure it still stained his face in garish marks, like a tattoo despite his reflection revealing his face to be untouched by any mark.
With each step, the weight of what he had done began to creep upon Sukuna. His murders in the past had always been within reason. They had been to protect Yuuji or just mere accidents.
There was nothing accidental about what he did today. His anger had carried him into a fit of violence that had left over a dead helpless men dead, slaughtered like pigs. It was a mercy. They would have died anyways for that group.
It was a mercy as they would probably struggle and toil to only remain starving and helpless.
Yet no matter how much Sukuna repeated that to himself, he could only imagine Yuuji’s look of horror should he ever realize what Sukuna had done.
Another, darker part though wanted Yuuji to know. Not only to know, but to see it. He wanted to show Yuuji the destruction and death he could unleash to those that crossed him and revel in his expression. Would it break Yuuji to know and to see? And if he broke, would that make it easier to make Yuuji be beholden always to what he wanted and give up his ideals?
Sukuna ran a hand over his face, feeling conflicted and like he was fighting with himself and the turbulent feelings that ate at him for so long.
It was night by the time he arrived home. Only the full moon was out to watch silently over the land.
The only one awake was Yuuji, sitting at the doorway to their house, tensed and anxious with the warm glow of the fire at his back. Those honey eyes widened in relief upon seeing Sukuna, the lines of tension bleeding from his face as he hopped to his feet.
“Sukuna!”
“Brat,”
Sukuna allowed himself to smile, although he did not rush to embrace Yuuji as usual, as if afraid the blood that was on him would somehow smear onto Yuuji. The other sorcerer didn’t seem to notice, pulling Sukuna into a tight hug, face pressed to his broad chest, “You’re late!”
“Just by a few hours,” Sukuna murmured, one hand rising, hesitating before letting it card through Yuuji’s hair gently, “I’m sorry,”
“I was getting worried about you! There are rumors of bandit groups in the area,” Yuuji murmured, his grip tightening, “If you ran into them-”
“They would be making a dangerous mistake,” Sukuna assured him, cupping his face as he leaned down, “You worry about nothing,”
Yuuji glanced up at him and his smile dimmed a bit and Sukuna tensed, wondering if there was blood staining his face. One of Yuuji’s hands came up to cup Sukuna’s face, the thumb lightly trailing over his cheek, “You look tense,”
“I thought you said my face was a resting one displeasure always?”
“It isn’t that,” Yuuji’s brow furrowed, those honey-colored eyes boring into Sukuna’s blue ones, “It is something else. Like something is darker in your expression,”
“Darker?”
“You haven’t looked like this since the day you came in the night to tell us we had to leave the inn attic,” Yuuji said quietly, “I don’t know how to explain it, but,” a sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips as he glanced away, “It is something dark,”
A simmer irritation rippled in Sukuna’s soul with that comment. Yuuji could read him well enough to know when something was wrong. When those eyes were staring at Sukuna, that is when he was sure he might hate Yuuji, as if his partner was starting to unravel all the careful lies to see something below. It was terrifying in a way, how well Yuuji sometimes could see the contours of his soul for how it was.
Sukuna wondered if Yuuji knew already there was something black there, darker and hungry, that was slowly pushing its way out.
“Walk with me?”
The question had Sukuna glancing down at Yuuji again, a thin frown on his lips, but he did not protest the request, letting out a soft sigh, “Fine,”
“Not a maybe. That’s good,” Yuuji said with a small smile, “That’s progress,”
That earned a roll of the eyes from Sukuna, although he couldn’t help a slight amused smile, once more able to bottle up those darker feelings once more, “Brat, I swear you are going to be the death of me in your fool’s errand to try and make me a well adjusted adult,”
“You are a well adjusted adult, just one with a desire to slink about and be mad about just about everything like a man four times your age,” Yuuji teased as he moved to take his hand, tugging him along the path.
Sukuna gave a snort, “At least one of us has aged well into wisdom,”
“And it isn’t you who is wise. You are just pessimistic,” Yuuji retorted.
“Agree to disagree then, sunlight,”
The two of them walked the familiar paths of the village under the gentle light of the full moon above. Everything was quiet save for the usual loud lull of the night insects and distant calls of animals in the woods. The view was not particularly romantic as the muddy plowed fields seemed more like war zones than the shimmering fields they would become in time. Yuuji’s hand was securely in Sukuna’s own, a little beacon of warmth in the slight chill of that night.
They often walked like this, silent and hand and hand. In their youth, Yuuji had never been the one to shut up when they had gone anywhere, always excited and always wanting to share every thought in his mind. He had grown up though, learning to bite his tongue as it were, or maybe he had started to realize the lessons of calm and meditation the monks had imparted on him.
After all, Yuuji took his morning and evening meditations still, murmuring old chants under his breath as if he still clung onto the fact he would become a proper jujutsu sorcerer monk through his dedication alone.
Sukuna glanced to Yuuji who’s eyes were ahead, a smile on his lips as he leaned against Sukuna. It was hard to hate Yuuji when he was like this, calm and at his side without any hesitation. It was how Sukuna wanted Yuuji to stay.
The two of them came to a halt at the shabby little shrine at the top of the village that looked down over it. It was maintained to an extent, offerings left, and a few smoldering embers from a burned offering by someone earlier that evening. It was kept clean and tidy and Sukuna supposed for some gods, that was all they really needed. Yuuji’s gaze though was on the village itself, quiet in the moonlight and stretched out before them like a silver blanket in the night.
“I’m glad we came here,” Yuuji said softly, “I feel it has been good for both of us being in this village without any trouble,”
“Good for both of us?” Sukuna drawled, “I find myself bored of it,”
“It can be boring but,” Yuuji sighed as he turned to press his face against Sukuna’s side, eyes taking on a sad light, “There aren’t people here that hurt us or push you further down a darker path, right?”
That had Sukuna tensing, glancing down at Yuuji, “What do you mean?”
“You were hurting a lot of people in the city, Sukuna. Really hurting people,” Yuuji said quietly, “And those that did anything to me,”
His voice trailed off, his gaze glancing away, “And then there were rumors of that nobleman found dead, rippled apart, his house pillaged,” Yuuji’s voice cracked a bit a she closed his eyes, “I’m not stupid Sukuna. I can put things together, even if, even if it is painful to think about that and I remember that night. Even if it is in small fractures. I remember, even though I know you want to pretend I somehow can’t,”
Sukuna could feel his breath caught in his chest, his posture tensed and not a single muscle could relax. There was a panic in him for the first time in so long. He felt like that little boy, looking down the stairs at the dead noble on the monastery steps, that same queasiness in his stomach and feeling that terror that if Yuuji knew, he would-
And Yuuji did know. Had known and-
“It is me who pushes you to do those things right? You just want to protect me and keep me safe,” Yuuji murmured, his grip about Sukuna’s arm tensing, “But you don’t have to do that anymore, not here, okay? No more blood on your hands,”
But his hands were dripping with blood and blood that was far more innocent as much as it was guilty. Young men who hadn’t even joined with bandits lay dead in the forest, moldering and rotting and their deaths hadn’t had anything to do with Yuuji. They had everything to do with Sukuna’s ire of their pathetic expressions and want to rip those that would dare be associated even a little with a group that had ruined everything. Was that blood unforgivable?
Sukuna felt like his chest was aching as he had such trouble drawing breath or even trying to respond to Yuuji. He just stared at him, wide-eyed, blankly, while something darker and something guilty swirled behind those blue eyes.
“I guess that noble deserved what he got,” Yuuji glanced away, “I hated him too. I still hate him. I don’t think I’ll ever be rid of that feeling when I know my teachings say I have to let go, but, I don’t want that burden on you,”
“You are my burden Yuuji. I told you, I told you I would keep you safe,” The answer croaked out of Sukuna’s throat at last although he couldn’t look at him, “But Yuuji...”
“But Yuuji what?”
The question was a tad demanding and Sukuna knew there was a frown on Yuuji’s face. That defiant look that booked no argument that pinned Sukuna helplessly if he dared to look at it. It was a face that wanted him to come clean with all the lies and secrets.
Sukuna found he was now terrified as there were too many secrets, too many dead bodies now for him to even be forgiven by Yuuji.
And knowing so painfully now that Yuuji could move on without him.
But could he move on without Yuuji?
“I don’t know. I didn’t think you knew. I didn’t want you to know,” Sukuna said softly, his grip tightening a bit on Yuuji’s hand, “Yuuji-”
Whatever else he was going to say was cut off by a burst of fire at the edge of the village and the sudden rise of screams in the dark. Sukuna and Yuuji turned towards the sound, eyes wide and all the terrors of their past seemed to suddenly rise from the depths. There were curses there among the fires that were being thrown into homes. People ran out screaming, desperate to get away as the curses ran rampant.
It was familiar.
Achingly familiar.
“No!”
Yuuji let go of Sukuna’s hand even as he tried to grasp back onto it.
“Yuuji!”
They had both thought they had run away from this a long time ago. The death and destruction spreading through the tiny village and the boring, yet calm years of their life being eaten up all over again.
Yuuij ran towards it now, eyes wide in a terrifying look of anger as he went towards those curses and bandits now streaming forward.
Yuuji wasn’t a strong sorcerer and there were so many. They wore the mark of the Forged of Night and Sukuna felt realization swallow him up that his crimes had not gone unnoticed. He recalled vaguely one of the recruiters had claimed kinship to the leader of this wretched group.
An eye for an eye. Blood for blood. And vengeance circled around now to burn down another home and tear out all Yuuji’s emotions.
And Sukuna new it was all his fault as he watched Yuuji rush towards that incoming force as if he had any power to stop it and not be cut down.
That thought dominated Sukuna’s mind as he surged forward, sprinting after Yuuji.
He was faster than him, he had always been. He was now stronger too as his he gripped the back of Yuuji’s kimono to yank him back. Two arms rose up to clutch a struggling Yuuji close to him and press his lover’s face against his chest as if that would be enough to guard him from what was about to happen.
All four of Sukuna’s eyes latched onto the curses that came rushing towards them and the sorcerer bandits approaching with their cursed energy flared about them. Above all else, his gaze fixed on the man who was dressed lavishly in armor, eyes alight with hated and the symbol of the Forged Nights tattooted on his face. No doubt the leader who had heard of the slaughter of his brother and had quickly tracked down the culprit.
Would it have been hard to figure out who it was with Sukuna’s reputation?
Sukuna stood there meeting that hateful gaze with one of his own as the fire roared about them and the curses came crashing closer, ready to feast. Everything seemed to slow down and Sukuna could almost laugh as he brought his top hands up, his eyes wide, gleaming with something far more potent than just simple hatred. This self-styled bandit king thought he knew hate, but hatred had been all Sukuna had known in his life. It was burned into him from birth as his mother starved herself to spite his father, cursing him with a monstrous heir that devoured its own kin in the womb and would devour the rest of the family if she had her way.
All the years of abuse on the streets, of hunger, of despair. Of illness that tore at him and of Yuuji, who was all he had to hold onto and for whom he would finally build his shrine upon.
The hand signals came so naturally, formed just over Yuuji’s head as he struggled in Sukuna’s grip. Just like those gestures had formed before with Yuuji perfectly framed between his fingers in their youth. How Yuuji had turned to smile at him, sunshine haloed about his head like he was a creature of a divine sort. The only thing that was worth anything in this world and would always be the core of everything.
His shrine was dedicated to all the hate and contempt he held for this world. The malevolence of his scorn and ire upon those that dared to even look at him and say they understood the twisted web of disdain that bore him to this world.
The possessive burning of the love he held for that which his shrine was built to protect at all costs and whom he would chain to him forever if necessary if only to be able to always be at the feet of his idol.
“Malevolent Shrine,”
The words came and felt like a wave of power was unleashed at last. His domain expanded for the first time like an ocean, washing forward and engulfing the village with its bloody water. The shrine at the heart of it loomed out with hungry mouths, protecting, hiding away what formed the core. Bones jutted out, ripping through homes as his domain continued without end, hungrily engulfing everything he wanted dead.
The enslaved curses went rigid, as if knowing their demise while the fool bandit sorcerers paused, eyes wide. The confident anger in their leader’s face to take out his petty vengeance faded as Sukuna looked at him with all four eyes.
Sukuna smiled, showing off teeth and wicked, violent desire mixed with the ire of a king towards petty creatures that swarmed at his feet.
Sukuna’s grip tightened about Yuuji, keeping him from looking as he unleashed his full fury.
The slashes came quick in their multitudes. Curses and men sliced apart into ribbons, homes ripped up and destroyed, and the leader barely could open his mouth to scream before his head was carved up into bloody chunks. The whole of it only took a brief moment, yet it seemed to stretch on for eons for Sukuna.
The village completely silent.
Sukuna let out a sigh, smiling faintly as he let his domain go and lowered his arms. His grip finally relented and Yuuji pulled away with a snarl, “Sukuna, what-”
All protest died on Yuuji’s lips as he turned to take in the carnage. He paled, trembling and he looked at the slaughter before them and then turning to look at Sukuna.
“Sukuna-”
“They were going to kill us,” Sukuna said, the panic gone as an odd calm settled on him, as if finally showing Yuuji such violence had put him at ease, “I took care of them for their insolence,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, standing there and looking at Sukuna as if he didn’t know him before looking at the destruction, “But the village-”
“Everyone was already dead,”
The lie came so easily. It would be hard to tell the bodies that were eaten by curses apart from those he had viciously killed. Those villagers that always stared at him and acted like he was not to be respected.
Collateral that he didn’t feel anything for.
“Everyone is,” Yuuji trembled, both hands coming up to cover his face, “Not again. Not like this!”
Sukuna regarded Yuuji a he fell to his knees in his grief, screaming in his own rage like a child that hadn’t gotten his way. For some reason the sight had Sukuna frowning a touch more than feeling pity as he knew he probably should, but there was no denying the fact that the bandits had to die for them to live.
Who cared about the rest of the village?
A thin whine rose in the night and Ahoto came rushing up the path to them, tail tucked and trembling in fear. He was quick to nose up to Yuuji who raised his head to regard his beloved pet before wrapping both arms about it with a sob.
Sukuna glanced away, holding back a small sigh as he began to walk forward, “We have to go Yuuji. There is nothing left here to stay for,”
Yuuji rose his head sharply and there was something angry in his expression. Pain was in his grimace as he stared at Sukuna. That look was not one Sukuna had ever seen on Yuuji’s face. It put him ill at ease, and yet he remained his calm expression, although a twitch of scorn was in his eyes.
“Yuuji?”
“Don’t you care?” Yuuji asked, “Everyone is dead, and you aren’t even upset,”
“We can’t afford to be upset, can we? We can’t linger here or do you want to be blamed for the work of these bandits?”
Yuuji’s face contorted in rage and he trembled as he clutched Ahoto closer, “This is your fault isn’t it? You did something, didn’t you?”
“They jumped me on the road, or at least one of their members did and I protected myself,” Sukuna retorted, “I did not think they would follow me back,”
More lies woven within truths and strung out before Yuuji as Sukuna felt mild panic that Yuuji might leave him. He had shown his carnage at last and now the only person that matter would abandon him. It had something vicious coming up in Sukuna’s soul, something bitter and hateful towards Yuuji. It had him frowning as he turned away.
“Do you want me to leave? Do you want to be left alone again? I’ll leave if that is what you ask of me and if that will comfort you at all,”
Yuuji trembled, glaring before that expression started to crack and he looked down, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to leave me,” he finally rasped out.
“Then we need to leave,” Sukuna kept his voice so gentle as he finally turned towards Yuuji, offering a hand, “I think there is a place better for us to find our happiness together,”
Yuuji stared at that hand and there was such a hopelessness, a helplessness in his expression.
Something that made Sukuna smile a touch and sooth his soul as he watched his partner reach out to take his hand. Alone, Yuuji was all his and could do nothing but follow him.
His broken idol would always follow him as who else was he to turn to now?
The villagers were gone and it was just them again, as it should have always been from the start.
“It will get better Yuuji. Away from bandits and curses like this, we can build a life greater than this, I promise you,” Sukuna said, offering a smile and raising another hand to stroke along his face, “I will make things fine,”
“I don’t know,” Yuuji said, voice trembling, “Everyone, you-”
“Do you hate me now, Yuuji?”
Yuuji stared at him, those eyes filled with pain, desperate for comfort and assurance while at the same time, something else was blooming in those honey-orbs, buried in those helpless pools, “No,”
“Do you love me?”
Yuuji closed his eyes, “Of course I do, Sukuna,”
“Then will you do as I say?”
Yuuji opened his eyes, staring over the village. His jaw clenched, “I don’t know,”
Because Sukuna didn’t ask him anymore to trust him. Yuuji’s grip on Sukuna’s hand tightened more like he was trying to make sure the other man didn’t stray far from him.
Or to restrain him.
“Let’s go then. We’ll find something better,”
Sukuna led the way out of the ruins of that village. Yuuji was sullen and silent, eyes ahead and did not voice his protest to stay and tend the dead. He knew Sukuna would not do it. He would continue walking and leave Yuuji behind if he did.
Yuuji’s mind was swarming with thoughts, all of them mixing and crashing into one another as he tried to sort out his feelings. The boy he grew up with and loved, who joked with him was there, in that smile, in that grip on his hand, and in those gentle words. That earnest little boy who thrived on Yuuji’s love and acceptance.
But there was this monster Yuuji had always tried not to acknowledge. He saw it, thought he could calm it, but the monster had been the one to sink teeth into him.
Yuuji looked about at the ruins of the village. He looked up at Sukuna, his expression blank and uncaring and something clenched in Yuuji’s heart and he looked down to the ground, soaked in blood, soaking his feet in blood as they left another home.
He wondered then how many more broken lives would the two of them leave behind in this twisted relationship, this poison that neither of them seemed able to break.
All he could do was follow as there was only Sukuna. There was only ever Sukuna for so long in his life.
And all Yuuji could do was let the tears fall down his face, although he didn’t think he was just mourning the village.
He might have been mourning the two boys that were both being left dead in the ruins of that village.
Two little boys that grew into two men that no longer held hands so tightly as the small cracks finally began to appear in that bond that had once been so reliable to their lives.
Notes:
This story tears at my soul and I'm sorry ; w ; This is the story that will be a painful ride, so guard thine feels my readers, almost to the turning point next chapter...
Chapter 9: A Cost is Paid
Notes:
Get the tissues, this chapter hurts the heart, and finally the part people have been dreading comes....but we all know it is downhill from here. ; w ;
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Emperor Xiaozong of the Song is becoming more tenacious about the threats against trade along the Eastern ports of his empire. It is just making it more difficult for smugglers and pirates to make their runs,”
“Not to mention the Ly are suffering instability, making those ports in the far south more a danger. Our contacts are just raiding what they can, which has them demanding a higher price,”
Yuuji did his best to stifle a yawn, as the smugglers talked, not really paying attention to the news. It was really the same news that came in day in and day out as it seemed the world was having a strange upheaval all at once. Abroad, there was talk of raiders and corrupt regimes, but even in their own country, there was talk about the nobility starting to push back against the Fujiwara clan. Everywhere it seemed there were hints that the something was changing. Yet for how the world was slowly shifting, in Yamaguchi, trade still remained steady and the world remained on the same slow time as always.
The conversation at large with a few bumbling new smugglers trying to cover up a mistake as Sukuna glared holes into them was just a typical day of business. A common theme for Yuuji to hear about ever since they arrived in the city three years ago.
Three years of Sukuna finding his stride once more in the black underbelly of the city, this time quickly rising in ranks to establish his own smuggling ring.
“Do I need to remind you two, that is not my business if they aren’t doing their job right?” Sukuna sneered as he leaned forward, making the two smugglers before him flinch, “My business is selling what they bring, and if no one wants to buy their damn wares, I’m not making a profit. So I’m sure they can see the math here where their goods just aren’t worth the price they are begging,”
Yuuji heaved a sigh, keeping one eye on Sukuna as he was well aware how the temper of his lover could quickly snap. For now, no threats were being made. It also meant there was no threat of Sukuna decide that some people were better off to him dead than alive. For now, there was no reason for him to get involved, although he remained tensed, one eye on Sukuna, the other staring off in bored distaste of this whole new life.
“We understand sir, but in the interior cities or even in the capital, I’m sure we can increase the price,” one of the smugglers said with an attempt at an appeasing smile.
“And if you can’t make back your profit, you are going to be putting your jobs in a very precarious position,”
Yuuji frowned a touch as he stopped listening to the two smugglers babble their master plan to Sukuna in as much detail as they could. He was well aware Sukuna was letting them talk just to indulge in their fear. If he was really upset, he would have stopped them the moment they opened their mouths. The situation was fine and Yuuji relaxed further, letting out a soft sigh as he let his gaze now slide to the nearby window. The harbor was calm that day, the sea a stretching blanket of gentle waves dancing under the sunlight. The whole scene was warm and inviting and the smell of salt off the decks set aflame a wistful murmur in Yuuji’s soul.
It made him wish he was out there rather than in a dusty warehouse listening to clandestine activities being discussed at large.
Sukuna had picked Yamaguchi as it lay on the sea and far from the capitol and further still from the village they had left in ruin. No one would easily track them this far south. Yuuji had barely listened to his reasons. He had followed along after Sukuna like a lost dog, clinging onto the one person left to try and center his life as it was ripped apart around him that day. All the death and bodies, the truama of another home burning, it had left Yuuji unsettled. He hadn’t spoken for weeks after it. He ate what food Sukuna gave him. He drank what water Sukuna offered. He followed along and listened to Sukuna without hearing his words as his mind tried desperately in those days to come to some sort of understanding to his situation.
Sukuna said the sea would be good for him. The doctors always said that the warm air of the south was better for the soul. It was true in a way. Upon arrival, seeing the sea for the first time had brought out Yuuji’s old wonder and curiosity and broken the dark cloud about him.To wake up and see the sea spread out before him looking like an endless, rolling blanket of water was something that still captured his attention and when his thoughts were dark, it was that expanse of water that seemed to lull those thoughts away.
The sea was a contradiction, much like how his life was. The role of that body of water was always changing, both cruel and indifferent and bountiful and kind from day to day. It helped him to try and forgive what Sukuna had done and find every rational to justify the death or to ignore the facts of what had happened.
It was all he could do to try and keep sane at times, especially as despite the calm of the sea, Yuuji was well aware this city had become a new cage for him.
Because Sukuna did not let him wander as he pleased, always keeping close and making sure Yuuji was safe. Everything Sukuna did, he made sure Yuuji knew it was done for him. His affections were doting and protective, jealous and overbearing, and at times, Yuuji felt terrified to say anything back. He didn’t talk to Sukuna about how the city was too loud to him now and how he yearned for a quiet life. He didn’t speak up about how the moment Sukuna started to dabble in smuggling, he felt uneasy and soon grew to detest the whole job altogether.
Yuuji knew better. The few times he had found his voice, Sukuna would smile and draw him close, his words soft and gentle against Yuuji’s ear, but so manipulatively vicious.
“You wouldn’t want me to have to do something worse, right?”
that innocent statement was a threat tied tight about Yuuji’s throat to choke all the protest off his tongue. Yuuji learned to be silent as the fear of the harm Sukuna could do would rise up and the guilt at knowing if he couldn’t make Sukuna, if he couldn’t love him how Sukuna wanted to be loved, then people could get hurt.
And Sukuna knew that now. He had shown Yuuji what he was very capable of.
Everything had to be done now to appease Sukuna and Yuuji felt almost conflicted, trapped between telling himself he could be satisfied with that if it saved Sukuna from crossing that abyss again, and a stewing anger that had been wanting to scream ever since that horrid slaughter.
So he looked away from the worse of his partner and left him to run his smuggling ring and kept his gaze out to sea in some attempt to let his mind race away from him over those waves. Sometimes Yuuji would watch the ships leave and a part of him wish he could do that. Just get up and leave, but guilt was a chain of iron forged about his neck that kept him seated at Sukuna’s side.
There was already one village dead because he did not do enough. He could only imagine what Sukuna might do if he left. That fear, that guilt hung heavily about him.
Then there was love. For all the anger, the fear, the guilt, and sadness, Yuuji could not help but love Sukuna. They shared in so much happiness and knew each other well. They lived in sync and could laugh and act as if the world had melted away. When it was just the two of them, Sukuna was that boy he grew up with, charming and mischievous, perhaps too smart for his own good, but gentle whenever he was with Yuuji. Never did Yuuji doubt Sukuna’s love.
But that love formed another chain that kept him pinned in his hopeless thoughts, unable to act. Unable to do anything but try to be as Sukuna wanted him to be like within the shelter of his shrine of affection.
“I’m losing patience with the both of you,” Sukuna snarled, at last growing bored with stringing the two bumbling fools along , “You are talking yourselves around in circles I care little for,”
Yuuji glanced over, tensing just a tad as he saw Sukuna tapping two fingers on the table. A dangerous gesture if it was raised just a few more inches. He could feel the tension in his shoulders and he was holding is breath, silently praying there would be no blood spilled today.
“We will correct the mistake, we can assure you,” One of the two men stammered out, “Just give us two weeks and we’ll have made back the sale with interest!”
Sukuna’s fingers stopped tapping as he considered their fearful words before he hummed and curled the two fingers in. It was only then Yuuji sighed, closing his eyes briefly before turning his gaze back out the window as the danger had passed.
His gaze was drawn once more to the sea, watching as the sunlight flickered over its frothing mass and on the ships that came and went, slowly vanishing out of sight at the end of the world and leaving everything behind on the docks. The sea birds were calling out as they glided high overhead on the warm updrafts of the afternoon, free as ever to go where they pleased. There were many fishing boats out today as a warm current had brought the larger shoals of fish and there was money to be made, like the glimmer of the scales of fish. Whoever brought the larger hauls would be eating well that evening.
Yuuji allowed himself a soft smile as he imagined himself turning into one of those wily fish that managed to jump off the boat and swim far away.
“You have two weeks. I hope you make it count,” Sukuna finally said as he leaned back in his seat.
The two smugglers stammered out their apologies and bumbling assurances before they were turning to rush off. The exit of the two had the old hands in Sukuna’s ring chuckling. Those individuals who had been running with Sukuna from the start shared in his sense of morals and Yuuji hated how so many would feed into Sukuna’s shrewdness to help line their own pockets. Yet at the same time, Yuuji never said a word to cause trouble as he still ached for that old sense of community, feeling connected to others, that he only could fulfill in the company of thieves and scoundrels now.
Sukuna didn’t much care for him to associate with people outside their small world. Everyone else were not welcomed near Yuuji.
“They mess up again, I don’t think there is any need to keep them around,” Sukuna sneered as he rose from to his feet.
“Some people listen to any sob story a pirate tells them about starving family and buy it up,” a shrewd face woman drawled, tapping fingers against her cheek, “Rather pathetic really,”
Sukuna gave a roll of his eyes as he moved to pick up the latest report of gained goods, eyeing it with a frown, “I don’t need weak-willed worms who give into sob stories,” he paused to cast his glare about the warehouse to the others who worked under him, “And I want to make it a point that you don’t give handouts to anyone, just because they whimper about their sorry state of affairs. Got it?”
There was a murmur of agreements from his cohorts, although Yuuji found himself frowning a touch as he glanced at Sukuna out the corner of his eye and gritted his teeth.
There were bitter words in his throat that wanted to come out. Yuuji wanted so desperately to argue and remind Sukuna how the two of them had grown up a sob-story that had gotten by more than once on the good will of others to throw them scraps. How there were winters where they would have starved to death save for a kind peddler offering them a few spare dumplings, a noblewoman smuggling them out a little sack of grain in gratitude for them finding her cat, or even a passing tax collector who paid them a few coins for pointing out a hole in his pouch. That people’s empathy had saved them more than the cruelty of the world.
That there was nothing wrong with trying to be good, even if sometimes it caused hurt.
Instead Yuuji held his silent as Sukuna glanced his way with that fond smile of his, as if to check-in with that all was well with his adored lover.
Yuuji offered an appeasing smile as the bitter words screamed in his head and his gaze slid back to the sea.
“Well, not like those two will be a huge loss if they go,” One of the smugglers drawled as he leaned back to pick at his teeth. Yuuji couldn’t recall his name so he must be someone new. Just another wide-eyed follower to Sukuna’s persuasive will.
Yuuji almost wanted to tell him to leave while he could, but he held his tongue and rested his head against his folded arms. Silent and sweet was how Sukuna wanted him. Silent and vicious was how Yuuji felt and it made him feel all the more guilty that he couldn’t find it in him to speak up.
“You know what would lighten the mood? How about a little spirit eh?” a rugged old smuggler put forth with an appeasing smile.
That request was met with cheers and Sukuna paused to consider it with a rub of his chin. The room was silent and breathless, all eager to hear his response. Sukuna was cruel and his temper violent should anyone displease him, but he also was not above being gracious in order to keep his followers eating out of his hand and following his way of life.
Sukuna smirked, giving a small shrug before spreading his arms like a welcoming host inviting people in, “I think we can indulge. Despite that setback, we still made a great deal of money this haul,”
The cheers rang up and there was an explosion of movement as those in the warehouse were quick to get makeshift tables out and go about finding any item that could be used to hold liquid in order to indulge in the good drink. Yuuji had to stifle a sigh, but he gave a small smile as he sat up more and knowing he would be expected to join in. Hating the job or not, Yuuji couldn’t help but get to know the people in Sukuna’s smuggling ring. He was too social a soul to just try and keep everyone away and he always craved some sense of community. He knew well the names and habits of most smugglers, save the new faces. When drink was present, at least there was no talk of work and Yuuji could pretend his life was normal enough.
“You look a bit more morose today,”
Yuuji glanced over towards Sukuna, giving another tired smile, “Didn’t sleep well last night is all. Ahoto’s snorting is getting loud,”
“That damn mutt is just getting old,” Sukuna drawled, “Becoming a pain in the ass at this point,”
“And yet you still spoil him,” Yuuji rose to his feet, getting closer to Sukuna to brush shoulders, “But this city air is doing him no favors. He doesn’t like having to stay cloistered up in our room when we aren’t home,”
Sukuna gave a shrug, “Not many places for a dog to run about and we certainly aren’t going to be shuffling off to the countryside. Not now. Not when we finally have it made,”
Yuuji gave a glance around to the crates of illegal gains that would be sold off to people who wanted it. A famine was starting to creep into the countryside, so the rumors said, which meant food prices were creeping up. Which put Sukuna in a position to both remain comfortably fed and let people beg for his generosity with whatever they could offer.
The money that kept them afloat was made off of the misfortune of others and the very idea made Yuuji’s skin crawl and have to bite back comments about how they were really no better than nobility and bandits.
In the past, he and Sukuna had stolen to survive.
Now they stole so they could choose who deserved to live or die.
But to say any of that would have Sukuna’s usual calming words and lies, giving Yuuji everything he wanted to hear to try and sooth his guilty consciousness.
So Yuuji gave a shrug and offered a small teasing smile, “You mean living like a fat noble now?”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, “Don’t compare me to them,” he growled, “One wrong move and I lose everything. They never have to worry about that,”
“Sure they don’t,” Yuuji let out a sigh, crossing his arms as he watched the liquor be pulled out to the cheers of the cohort and passed around, “And you also aren’t trying to be the city hero killing curses to get them under your thumb too,”
“Why not be recognized for my work properly? At least they aren’t thinking you are the one who is doing it,” Sukuna said with a chuckle.
That comment almost made Yuuji wince and a slight irritation burn up in his soul. He wasn’t allowed to go out and fight curses alongside Sukuna. Such dangerous work was unbecoming of Yuuji who’s purpose was to keep sitting on the pedestal he was chained to. Anything that was deemed dangerous was to be kept as far from Yuuji as possible in Sukuna’s eyes. That was simply how the larger man had decided things were to be in the world he was delicate crafting.
Yuuji though could not hate Sukuna for that. He never could hate Sukuna for anything. Not when he loved him dearly and the many times of happiness were still held so tight to his heart. He couldn’t let go of whom he loved.
He could hate himself though for building the chains he wore, putting them on willingly, and seating himself at Sukuna’s side to try and be all that Sukuna wished to adore him for.
“I never cared much about money Sukuna,” Was Yuuji soft response as the cups were handed out and the alcohol poured, “Or such a busy life,”
“Ever since we moved to this city you’ve been rather moody Yuuji. Perhaps you should practice the monk habit of letting go,” Sukuna drawled, “Things are good for us here. You should just let the past be in the past,”
Yuuji sighed, “I know they are good for us. Just, it is an adjustment, after what happened,” he looked away, “Three years doesn’t make all of that go away, Sukuna,”
He could feel his lover’s gaze on him. A searching thing that was trying to parse out the meaning of Yuuji’s words. It made Yuuji tense a bit and he glanced away with a shake of his head, offering a smile, “Just tired of late mixed with those memories being more potent this time of year. I don’t do well with anniversaries of tragedy, you know that,”
Sukuna regarded him for a long moment before he sighed as he leaned in, brushing his lips against Yuuji’s temple, “I’ll leave this place early tonight and we can head home to find something more pleasing to distract your busy mind,” Sukuna said softly, “Or maybe you should just indulge a bit and stop staring out to sea like a wistful maiden,”
Yuuji gave a snort at that, giving a small, albeit playful shove to Sukuna, “I’m no maiden and you know it. And I would appreciate you not telling everyone I’m your docile wife!”
“But it makes you blush so prettily when I talk about my perfect wife and they think I speak of some woman, and not of you,” Sukuna gave a lazy grin as he took Yuuji’s hand in his own, “The partner I spoil so much,”
“You only spoil me when you feel like it,” Yuuji responded with a wave of his hand.
Sukuna just faked a hurt look as he leaned in to steal a peck of a kiss, “So cruel Yuuji. Such bitterness makes me wonder if you are going to leave me,”
“Don’t be a fool. Why would I leave you?” Yuuji had to fight the urge to tense up and wonder if Sukuna could read his most guilty thoughts. He swallowed before shaking his head as he turned to return the kiss briefly before rising to his feet, “You are and have always been my whole world, my anchor, since we’ve been small. How could I leave that?”
And Sukuna still was that normality in his life. Whatever tragedy happened, whenever something went wrong, Sukuna was there. At the worse points in his life, where he may have certainly died, Sukuna had been the hand keeping him steady.
Yet that came with a price of blood that still tore at Yuuji from the inside and drove his desire to flee.
The guilt never left him. It ate at him with every moment spent with Sukuna. It kept him bound to his lover and it made him wish he could run away. But to run was to cut a tether that would send him lose into the wild roar of wind that ripped about this world and that was a fear that Yuuji still clung to.
He leaned into Sukuna as the taller man put an arm about him. There was no questioning their love, but Yuuji was starting to wonder if that love was something far deadlier than any danger he had confronted in his life.
“You two aren’t drinking yet?” one of the smugglers, and older man named Bao said with a grin, showing off his missing teeth, “You are missing a real good vintage!”
“Yuuji doesn’t care to drink much. Had a bad spell of poor tasting liquor and avoids it now,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “But I certainly can drink for the both of us,”
“Just not too much. You snore when you go to sleep drunk and then I have to find another house to sleep in between you and Ahoto,” Yuuji drawled playfully.
Sukuna sighed and rolled his visible eyes, the bottom two closed, “Oh such a kill joy,” but Yuuji knew at least he would relent to drinking in excess.
True Sukuna had a love of his liquor, but he was never one to drink until drunk. Just enough to get everyone else drunk so he could get loose lips to sputter out information that would help him.
Yuuji smiled and gave a nudge to Sukuna before pulling away from his embrace, “Just going to see a few familiar faces. Wanted to ask Hinata about her children and see if they have improved in health,”
“As always, a social butterfly,” Sukuna said with a sigh and wave of his hand, “Then be off with you, but don’t be away too long,”
“I’ll take as long as I like,” Yuuji retorted. He stuck out his tongue which earned another roll of the eyes from his lover, but Sukuna seemed in better spirits.
Which meant he was appeased enough for Yuuji to relax and know no one was in any serious danger. It made it easy to slide right into the crowd and start to socialize and ease that desperate want of contact Yuuji craved. It always felt good to just talk to people and know about their lives. He found it easier to laugh and try to let go of that gnawing guilt in his chest when in the company of others and not left to his circling thoughts.
He used to talk like this in the village. The village dead in the mountains that Yuuji tried to lie to himself that everyone was fine and they had survived. They had fled into the forest and returned, horrified, but safe. That is the story his mind wanted to believe and the story Sukuna told him.
Yuuji though was not naive. He knew it was just a lie to try and cover what he saw that day.
He remembered the look of genuine excitement Sukuna had wore as he walked, a near manic look that was self-satisfied as he looked over every house in admiration for what he had done.
That imagine of Sukuna was burned into Yuuji’s nightmares and wrapped around in the anger that wanted to scream so much and confront the horrible truth.
Instead he buried it in the lies in desperation to just try to have things as they were.
He smiled and talked with people to ignore the cursed ghosts that stood quietly in the corners of the room, just out of sight, but never out of mind.
“Well now, Yuuji was it? It is nice to see you lively. You know you always look so much better when you smile. Real cute you know,”
Yuuji felt his smile wane at the drunk slurs coming from the new smuggler. He was clearly drunk as he leered at Yuuji, not realizing the risk he was making. There was more fear in Yuuji for the man than for himself, “Well, I always smile so guess I just always look good,” Yuuji said with a polite chuckle, “I don’t think I caught your name? You seem new here,”
“Juzo is my name,” the drunk said with a grin, “Was told you were the person to get to know around here. Friendly like and all. A real sweet slice of ass,”
“I do my best to keep everyone safe,” Yuuji said as he took a step back from Juzo, not out of fear of him, drunk as he was, Yuuji was sure he could handle him. He also prayed Sukuna hadn’t heard that comment as Yuuji knew it would result in an incident.
Sukuna hated people who flirted with Yuuji, innocent or not. He hurt people who flirted with Yuuji.
Sukuna’s love was a possessive love and he suffered no fools. So far Yuuji had always played the delicate balance and kept Sukuna’s jealousy well in check and keep him from deciding to eliminate a threat or annoyance.
It was why he tensed up all the more as Juzo slung an arm about him and pulled him close, “Why so standoffish? Come on and have a little drink with me! Let’s get to know each other eh?”
“I’ll have to decline on that, for your own good,” Yuuji said as he gave a smile and pulled away.
“Aw don’t be so frigid! A pretty thing like you-”
Whatever the drunk was going to say next was lost as a hand fell upon the back of his shirt and hauled him up with savage force Juzo was not a small man, but he was still dwarfed in strength and stature by Sukuna who dangled him like a fist that was about to be gutted.
“And what do you think you are doing?”
There was a look in Sukuna’s eyes that spoke of the sort of violence that Yuuji was so desperate to contain. He held Juzo up in a grip that could have snapped his neck with a flex of a hand. The entire room had went deathly silent now and Yuuji felt the panic in him leap as he quickly rose to his feet.
“He’s doing nothing! Really! Just your typical drunk!” Yuuji quickly said as he moved to tug at Sukuna’s forearm, “This isn’t the first nor last time someone would get drunk around me. He really just asked to know me better! He’s a new face after all!”
“A new face,” Sukuna repeated, gaze flicking down to Yuuji, “And that should what? Give him a pass for putting hands on you?”
“I can defend myself if it was an issue. I am not weak, Sukuna,”
The words came out harsher than Yuuji intended, more pointed and laced with a far more defiant tone that had Sukuna pausing. He cocked an eyebrow at Yuuji’s word, a miffed look crossing his features before he finally let go of Juzo, dropping him to the ground.
“Not like you to speak to me like that, brat,” Sukuna said, tone edged into something cold, “Forgive me if one us remembers what drunks can do to a person,”
“No one drunk ever caused me harm,” Yuuji said with a frown, “It is the people who are sober that always had the worse for me and I haven’t made that mistake again,”
They were staring each other down, a rare break in the gentle facade of their relationship.
“So you say, but how many times have you not listened to me and gone about things your own way?” Sukuna sneered, “Or do you enjoy people taking advantage of you?”
Yuuji felt the anger tremble inside of him and he wanted to argue more with Sukuna, but he was also aware of the eyes boring into him. Thus he swallowed his retort and glanced away, the guilt screaming at him to quickly make amends before Sukuna hung something worse over his head.
“I think I just would like to go home is all,” Yuuji murmured, “I’m sorry if I snapped at you,”
That seemed to be enough to ease Sukuna’s mood as he relaxed, a smile touching his hips, “Apology accepted,” he said with all the kindness of someone who was expected to always be forgiven, “And I suppose you have been more tired of late. I’ll finish up here and we can head home,”
Sukuna’s hand came up to gently caress the side of Yuuji’s face, “I don’t want you to be stressed after all,”
“I know,” Yuuji said with a perhaps more forced smile than he would have liked, “I know,’
It at least meant less reason for an incident to occur or for another death to be on Yuuji’s hands for not doing enough to stop people from being targets of Sukuna’s ire. For his part, Juzo had slunk away and if he had any sense of self preservation above his greed, Yuuji prayed he stayed away.
After all, there were few things Sukuna forgot and even fewer things he forgave.
Sukuna raised himself up to his full, imposing height and cast a look about the quiet room, a glare fixed in place, “Pack up the party and get to work. The ships bringing goods in from raids should be in along the harbor by morning and I expect you to get the goods off at a quick pace. Until then, take inventory. If anyone is caught shaving margins, well, I will be extremely displeased,”
There was a quick chorus of acknowledgment and the smugglers scattered like cockroaches in the morning light to avoid the gaze of their boss. Sukuna kept his eye on all of them with a thin, displeased frown before he moved to put an arm about Yuuji.
“Let’s go,”
Yuuji just nodded mutely, hoping that nothing would come of this day. He didn’t need another body in the grave of his guilt, staring accusingly at him for not doing enough.
They left the warehouse behind, soon blending into the usual hustle and bustle of Yamaguchi. The streets were always busy here as the lucrative trade from abroad always found its way into the port, be it legally or illegally. Sukuna and him could fade into the tapestry now, both well groomed and well dressed, although Sukuna still had a flair for the dramatic and odd taste with a more female cut to his kimonos. Others found it odd, but Yuuji simply knew it was more comfortable to put two pairs of arms through the sleeve when they were at home.
“You should really not snap at me in front of the others like that. People are going to think we don’t get along,”
Yuuji gave a small shrug, keeping his eyes forward on the path back to the inn, “Sometimes you get a little overbearing and you won’t listen to me. Have to make myself heard somehow,”
“I’m just trying to keep you safe,” Sukuna said with a frown, “You always get yourself into trouble and I never want to see you hurt in any way,”
“I know but, can I not get a little credit, now that I’m fully grown?” Yuuji asked with a sigh.
Sukuna snorted, “Maybe when you stop being so damn naive and trusting and thinking the best of everyone,”
And that was always the reason, always delivered in a clipped way that made it rather final that Sukuna saw no reason to change how he treated Yuuji. It made Yuuji bite back a sigh, gaze sliding away from the street and past the protective arm about his shoulder, and towards the glint of the sea, “I know, but I’m not a kid anymore and I can take care of myself. I’m not as naïve about the world as you think. You just hate acknowledging that not everyone has to be treated like an enemy,”
“And talking like that is why I know you are naïve,” Sukuna drawled, “You are too trusting of people,”
Yuuji frowned, but held his tongue, not about to protest that there was no way he was naïve. Not when he had witnesses so much death and endured his life being ripped out from under him over and over again by the man he helplessly loved. Yuuji wasn’t a fool. He was well aware of what was going on and of the violence that seemed to be always so close to the surface now with Sukuna. It wasn’t naivete that held Yuuji close, but a denial that had claws sunk into him.
It was easy to deny, push his defiance down, be obedient, and force that smile in hopes the happiness he wanted would come, that it had to come.
That love would be enough to keep him and Sukuna together and forgive all sins.
A voice in the back of Yuuji’s mind though, something so soft, whispered something else that he wasn’t yet ready to consider. A voice that murmured he had to stop breaking himself to try and save someone who was already too far gone.
That it was too late to stop Sukuna now, no matter what he did.
That none of this was his fault for simply being alive.
“I don’t need to always have eyes on me Sukuna,” Yuuji’s gaze slid back to the street as they walked towards the merchant district and the large inns that lined the street, “You act if I get away from you, I’ll be in some horrible danger,”
“Because when I leave you, something always happens,” Sukuna retorted with a frown, “I just wish you would stop being so moody all the time. You hit adulthood and act like everything is a pain,”
Yuuji bit back a vicious retort that wanted to point out he was just fine in the village. He just wasn’t fine with struggling to still come to terms with everything and trying to figure out his own feelings. Especially as Sukuna constantly told him how best to feel. Instead, Yuuji gave a shrug and fell into the response that for them, was always a dangerous, vague void, “Maybe,”
He could feel Sukuna eyeing him more and could practically feel his frown, “I don’t really care for this attitude of yours. What has made you act so much more like a brat?”
“Do you really want to know or are you going to tell me what I should do to be in a better mood?” Yuuji grumbled.
Sukuna gave Yuuji a pensive look, nearly a scowling pout before with little warning, he picked Yuuji up, “Well when you are in a horrid mood like this, there is only one thing to do,”
“Put me down!”
Sukuna only smirked as Yuuji struggled in his grip before he threw his companion over one shoulder to continue along, “Someone needs an extra helping of mochi tonight to sweeten you up again!”
“I don’t need mochi! I need to be put down, you overgrown idiot!”
Yuuji squirmed and struggle, but he knew it was all in vain. All in vain and he really didn’t want to escape all too much. Such playful spats always helped to break the tension, reminding Yuuji of how they had done much of the same sort of things all their life, although when they were little, it had been Yuuji throwing Sukuna over a shoulder and ignoring his yells to be put down.
It had come around full circle now with Sukuna dwarfing him. The larger man called it revenge and made sure to pick Yuuji up over his shoulder as often as possible and pin him down when they got into playful little wrestling matches. Always a reminder of just how much more powerful he was now, in every regard.
“I won’t let your dainty feet touch the ground until we get home,” Sukuna said with a grin as he meandered along the road and towards one of the more prominent inns, “And when I put you down, I’m going to stuff you full of food until you are too overfed to be in such a dour mood,”
Yuuji growled, giving a swat against Sukuna’s back, “All you are going to do is make me sick!”
“Oh don’t play that angle with me! I’m well aware you can eat your weight ten times over in food,” Sukuna tease as he took a turn to head into one of the larger inns, shouldering the door open.
The innkeeper didn’t even turn to look their way, only giving a small bow of respect to the two before he was back to his books, “Welcome home, master Ryoumen,”
Sukuna gave a hum in response as he continued to carry Yuuji across the main floor and up the stairs to the chambers set aside for himself and Yuuji. Adulthood had brought with it a burning ambition in Sukuna to succeed at whatever he put his mind to. Although he ran the largest smuggling ring in Yamaguchi, he had first started out in the city with taking over a small inn.
Yuuji sometimes wished it had just stayed as an inn. Sukuna ran the inn differently than he ran his smuggling. There was a kinder side to the whole place, as if seeing all the horrid practices that went on had made some impression on him to keep safe those that worked there. There were no working women of the night, no young men forced to bend knee. It had made a profit, but never enough to appease Sukuna’s appetites which had had him turning to more lucrative, if more cruel and underhanded means of acquiring wealth.
There was something in Sukuna that seemed almost addicted to seeking pleasure and to indulge as if the world was set aside for him to claim everything it could offer him.
Their room more or less was a testament to the life that Sukuna coveted so dearly.
The suite at the top of the inn was lavish and well decorated with fine tapestries, silks, and furniture made of polished wood. It was all in an elegant Tang fashion, giving it the exotic look that a noble would burn with jealousy to see. It was an opulence that growing up, Yuuji hadn’t been able to dream about having or even could fathom that a person could have.
Sukuna dropped him onto a pile of plush pillows before dropping down beside him with a wide grin, now letting the second pair of arms slip out through the wide sleeved kimonos he had taken to wearing, “Feeling better?”
“I guess,” YUuji said with a dramatic sigh, “I was promised mochi though and I see nothing,”
A snort escaped Sukuna as he ruffled Yuuji’s hair with two hands, the other pair moving to pull him close, “You are going to drive me mad trying to keep up with your changing moods, brat,”
“Just keeping you on your toes,”
Yuuji couldn’t help a soft smile touching his lips as he lifted both his hands to touch over Sukuna’s larger hands. It was times like this, he could find it so easy to love the other man. That charming boy he grew up with still was there, all mischief, a shy tilt of the head there when Yuuji leaned up to steal a kiss. This was the Sukuna he adored, the one that he had no doubts loved him just as much.
It made it easier to try and bury all the wrong and deny and forgive.
The guilt though whispered he was loving a monster and forgiving too much.
“I’ll go get the staff to make our dinner,” Sukuna said, pressing a kiss to Yuuji’s hand gently, “Then you can tell me all about your day,”
“Why? My entire day was spent with you,” Yuuji pointed out, “I don’t exactly get to go places,”
“I’m sure there is something in your mind you want to tell me about,” Sukuna said as he rose to his feet.
Yuuji gave a shrug, only looking away from Sukuna as the tap of claws on the wood floor. He turned with a smile as Ahoto waddled in, wagging his tail. Yuuji chuckled as he opened his arms to his beloved pet, letting the now slightly overweight dog flop into his lap, “I don’t think you want to hear about my ocean musings again,”
“I still don’t get why you want to trap yourself on a boat,” Sukuna said with a sigh, ruffling the dog’s head before he moved pass to the doorway, “But I like to hear you talk about things that impassioned you Yuuji. Never doubt that,”
“That isn’t a thing I’ll ever doubt about you, Sukuna,”
Because the only thing that was absolute, had always been the love they shared.
Yuuji leaned back some against the soft pillows, letting his hands comb through Ahoto’s fur, as he closed his eyes and tried to let go of the unease thoughts that seemed to dominate his mind today.
He just needed to relax. To forget. To move on. Then maybe he could learn to enjoy all of what Sukuna provided.
It did not take long for dinner to be brought to them and laid out. As always, they ate well, as they had for the pass two years. It seemed a strange distant memory at times that they use to be so hungry that boiled bark from trees to make a tea was the most filling thing they could find in the depths of winter. Now it was fish and vegetables covered in fine sauces and served over rice rather than millet.
Now it was sake and fresh water with the juice of fruit mixed in. Now it was laughter and full-stomachs and a warm bed in winter and cool sea breeze through the windows in summer. Now it was servants who cleaned the rooms and fluffed out fine linens.
Now life was easy and content and it should have been perfect in every way.
But Yuuji swore he could taste blood in every bite of food and sip of drink they’ve taken since arriving in the city. Sometimes he felt like he sat in the company of ghosts, hungry and forgotten, cursed and dead, starving to have a bite of what they had to be slaughter to achieve.
Even as he smiled and laughed, talking with Sukuna about the usual mundane gossip of the city, his mind never let him sink away from the gaze of those unseen specters that whispered his guilt.
His fault from the start. His fault for not seeing, for denying, for allowing all of their deaths.
Yuuji smiled as he leaned against Sukuna and tried to just see the man he loved. The man he had grown up and swore oaths to as a child. The boy who would get upset when he messed up his prayers and so very much wanted to be a good person who would change this world and help others.
That was the man who kissed him and whispered such beautiful things to him so earnestly. Sukuna caressed him and made him feel loved and the most important thing in the world. Yuuji could feel divine underneath Sukuna, mouth gasping out his name like a prayer and a blessing, nails dug against skin, and all the world melting away in the carnal bliss that came wrapped up in those four arms.
In those moments, Yuuji could forget every thought and willingly wrap the chains of devotion and fear tighter about him and trap himself for those moments and burn with regret when the passion dimmed back to embers.
Because in the end, Yuuji would never deny his heart. He knew he loved Sukuna more than anything and with every atrocity committed, every sin revealed, all Yuuji wanted was to somehow pull the man he loved back from the brink he was falling into.
He wanted to save Sukuna, just as much as Sukuna had saved him so many times.
Yuuji lay in the darkness of their room, the light of the day long gone by then and the candles snuffed out for rest. He could feel the warmth of Sukuna’s arms about him, secure and comforting against the slight chill of the late spring air. Despite how tired he was, Yuuji found sleep difficult.
His mind was too busy as he traced the wooden beams of the ceiling in the pale moonlight coming in from the cracked window.
He could hear the sound of the sea from here, soft and alluring. Maybe it was that gentle lull that had Yuuji forgoing the comfort of Sukuna’s arms and rising from his bed, pulling a blanket up over his bare shoulders and about his naked body as he padded to the window to open it a little wider.
The sight was breathtaking.
The clear sky, filled with stars about a brilliant near full-moon that threaded its silver fingers over the rooftops looked like something out of a dream. The sea surged and fell with the incoming tide, the white caps of waves looking like glinting fish scales being poured out on the docks. The moon’s reflection was vibrant on the clear water, rippling with each heave and sigh of the sea as it inched its way back up beaches to lick at the shoreline like an imploring lover.
The sea whispered in hisses along the shore and Yuuji almost wondered if it called to him or if he imagined it so desperately, wanting to call it a sign that he had to leave. Or maybe he was being selfish with wanting to leave this life that was perfect and putting people at risk.
Yuuji rubbed his hands over his face, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly before he looked over his shoulder. Sukuna was fast asleep and relaxed. In the silver of moonlight, he looked gentle, no tension in his face and Yuuji couldn’t help a fond smile before pulling the window closed against the sea and its promises. Seeing Sukuna like that quelled those furtive thoughts of leaving.
He could stay, just as long as Sukuna always was like this.
Yuuji returned to bed, letting his hands comb through Sukuna’s hair and down around his face. The man he loved so dearly as if he was part of his own soul. The two of them imprinted on each other with a fierce bond that had been tested for so long by the world.
It made Yuuji feel guilty that he wanted to leave at all.
He just needed to find his voice again, to tell Sukuna what he needed and to hold on tight enough that no more harm would come to anyone.
Yuuji wanted to desperately believe in that ideal as he moved to slide back under the covers with his lover, letting his hands trace over every muscle, every inch of the body he knew as well as his own. Sukuna murmured in his sleep, shifting before gathering Yuuji close.
A sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips and he closed his eyes and buried away the thoughts that circled in his mind like crows and tried to find rest.
Yet as always, it never felt like sleep ever really found him as Yuuji awoke with a groan as Sukuna nudged him.
“Time to wake up brat,”
“Ugh, can’t I sleep in today?” Yuuji groaned, groping for the blanket and pulling it around himself, “If you really love me, you would let me have this one day to sleep in and not rise with the sun,”
“You asking to sleep in? You sure you are all right? Usually you always wake with the sun,”
Yuuji just gave a groan in response as he pressed his head under a pillow, “Your snoring kept me awake!”
That had Sukuna rolling all four eyes as he dressed, “I don’t snore. Your damn mutt snores though,”
“You snored last night,” Yuuji retorted, although it was a lie.
It was easier to blame it on something as innocent as snoring and not his own feelings raging in his chest like a boiling pot about to spill over as his thoughts spiraled.
“This city life really is changing you,” Sukuna gave a shake of his head, “But I suppose, this one time, I can head out without you,”
Yuuji lifted the pillow to peer at Sukuna, “I sense an if coming,”
“If you don’t stray from the usual path and come right to me when you are awake and ready,” Sukuna said with a smirk as he lifted up the pillow some to look at the bleary-eyed Yuuji, “Is that a deal?”
“I’ll get to you in my own way,” Yuuji said around a yawn.
“In your own way means wandering down to the docks usually because you always take the longest path back to me,” Sukuna drawled, one of his four hands coming to flick his forehead, “And you know how I feel about that,”
Yuuji pulled a face, swatting at the hand, “You mean how you think if I step on the docks I’m going to be robbed and drowned as every sailor and fisherman is a horrible thug?” he said wearily, “Sukuna, we never had an issue with people who live by the sea. You are just getting paranoid about me going anywhere you can’t see,”
“The moment I have all four eyes off you, something goes wrong,” Sukuna growled, “Pardon me for not wanting to lose the life we have now. What we have here is a good thing, Yuuji,”
“And the only good thing I want is to sleep in,” Yuuji huffed as he pulled his pillow over his head again.
Sukuna sighed, frowning as he regarded Yuuji before shaking his head, “I’ll have someone posted at the door to take you down to me. That should keep you from wandering and give me peace of mind,”
Yuuji wanted to let out a frustrated sigh, but he gave a shrug as he burrowed himself deeper in his bedding, “mmhm,”
“Such a brat,” Sukuna grumbled before he slid away his second pair of arms and closed the bottom pair of eyes.
He gave one final look over Yuuji with a frown before sighing and heading out the door, perhaps closing it with a bit more force than intended.
Yuuji knew he was miffed, but at least he had given in to the request this morning. It was a little bit of freedom at least, given that it was rare for Yuuji to go anywhere without Sukuna. It was done in the name of safety, but Yuuji was well aware of Sukuna’s possessive jealousy. Sometimes it just got rather overbearing and only seemed to grow worse.
Another imperfection in the cracking facade of their supposed perfect life.
It wasn’t until near noon that Yuuji bother to rouse himself to get dressed and clean himself up. By then the inn was bustling with a few of the locals coming in to eat and the streets outside were filled with traders coming and going and the local color of the city of itself. Yuuji could hear the noises of the city’s pulse as he dressed. Ahoto let out a yawn from where he laid on a carpet in the sunlight, lifting his head as his master passed by. His tail gave a wag, thumping against the floor and Yuuji couldn’t help but pause to pat the old dog on the head.
“Don’t tell Sukuna,” he said with a wink before he knelt down and moved to open a small cabinet in the room.
Within was a small shrine that Yuuji had insisted on getting. Sukuna scoffed at it, always making snide comments about Yuuji’s devotion to his fate despite their days as monks being far behind them. Yuuji just shrugged those words off and played at it like it was just an old comforting habit.
A half-truth perhaps as Yuuji did find comfort in prayers in the morning, but it was also still something he wished he could take up again. The dream of becoming a sorcerer monk, dedicating to helping others and bringing justice and peace still sat in his heart, even if it was a long passed childish dream.
Yuuji lit the incenses and carefully placed them in the holder before he bowed his head and let his hands wrap about the worn out prayer beads he had kept all these years from his childhood. He let his fingers trail over the beads and feel out each flaw and mark in them. Those beads were a story of his life at this point, reminding him of all that had passed as he closed his eyes and did his best to fall into mediation.
“Honorable Buddha, honored one who loves all without exception, who guides all to the source of goodness and happiness, guide my path today,” Yuuji began softly, “I feel so conflicted about my path. I know I must forgive and to not shun as precious a gift of love, but if it causes sorrow, what should I do? Suffering is a sign of something’s wrong, and things are wrong I just,”
Yuuji swallowed as he lowered his head more, “I just don’t know what to do. I haven’t known what do do, and I’m sure you are sick of me, sick of me asking this everyday, but I need guidance. Something. Anything. Maybe this one time, just a sign,”
The idol sat silent as Yuuji opened his eyes, staring at it and feeling his breath hitch as his emotions trickled through, “What should I do? Please give me a sign today, shine a light, if even a glimmer, on a path I could walk that will lead me to the right choice in this. What must I do? What can I do?”
Yuuji could feel tears at the corner of his eyes and he paused to wipe them away. Ahoto whined as he trotted over, the dog nudging up against Yuuji’s side to give a small lick to his hand. That earned a smile from Yuuji, if small, and he ran a hand along the old dog’s side. His gaze went back to the altar, giving a final bow of his head.
“Any guidance would be sorely appreciated,” he said softly, “I want to do what is right for both I and Sukuna,”
Because in the end, even after everything, he wanted to make sure Sukuna had peace too and be unburdened and untroubled. If there was a way for both of them to be happy and to grow to their full potential, then that was the path Yuuji wanted.
He let out a sigh before he tucked away the prayer beads and closed the cabinet. With a final pet to Ahoto’s head, Yuuji rose to his feet and went to the window. He gave a glance about before he was swinging one let out, then the other and moving to grasp onto one of the support beams to climb down.
He could have used the door of course, but whatever escort Sukuna had left no doubt was standing there and Yuuji wasn’t keen on being led around like he was some precious noblewoman not allowed to mingle with the world. For all Sukuna tried to control him, Yuuji would often find small ways to take his own freedom in hand again.
Going out the window meant Yuuji could easily duck around the escort to take whatever path he pleased to the smuggler’s hideout and no doubt irk Sukuna, but it was easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission with Sukuna at times.
After all, Sukuna always forgave him for his mischief. This would be no different.
Yuuji’s feet hit the ground and he was quickly off down the maze of alleyways and heading down towards the docks to take the long route around and enjoy the sun on the sea and to see what interesting things had washed up upon the shores or what news from abroad had trickled in.
There were a lot of ships in port today with their grand size and sails of all color. It also meant the place was busy as cargo was loaded and unloaded, and the various merchants hustled about anxiously to see if their orders had come through or if something had caused products to spoil or be lost. Yuuji weaved his way through it all, staring at those sea-rough men who moved about, tanned dark from the sun and weathered like leather by the salt and water. Haggard but lively men who chatted away with boisterous attitudes and had such a care-free air to them that brought back that longing in Yuuji to see what was beyond the horizons and the lands these men spoke of in such casual tones.
“Watch out!”
Yuuji jumped at the warning as a load of boxes from a ship tipped out of their holding and started to come down towards the dock. He moved without thinking, not away from the falling cargo, but towards it, quickly catching two of the boxes and balancing them precariously before setting them down.
As he did, a man came up to him, a sailor by the looks, although the man seemed a rather tired sort with bags under his eyes and a scar across the nose. His long black hair had been done up in a pair of messy buns on either side of his head that gave him a somewhat comical look as he offered Yuuji a smile and a dip of his head in thanks.
“Thank you. You probably saved us a good bit of coin,” the man said with a sigh.
“It was no problem,” Yuuji responded, “Just wandering by,”
The man nodded, giving a tilt of his head, “Do you often wander around the docks? You aren’t a face I recognize,”
Yuuji gave a soft laugh, “No, not really. My partner doesn’t care too much for my wanderings here, but when I can, I found myself drawn here to try and hear the stories that come in,”
“Ah, the draw of the sea,” the man gave a chuckle as he looked back to the ship behind him, “My brothers and I all got bit by that bug. Life on land was...a bit too troublesome for those of us who aren’t well welcomed in most circles,”
There was a touch of sadness to the man’s tired expression before he shoot his head with a sigh, looking to Yuuji, “I am Choso by the way,”
“I’m Yuuji,”
“Well Yuuji, that is a name I won’t forget for your help with those boxes,” Choso said with a nod to the cargo that had been spared being broken on the docks, “I at least owe you a mean and a drink,”
Yuuji gave a wave of his hand, “It’s nothing! And uh, if you want to pay me back, well,” he felt a flush in his cheeks, feeling like a child as he looked away, “Maybe answer some questions I have about the world beyond here?”
Choso blinked before he smiled, giving a nod, “I can spare a few moments for that easily,”
Yuuji nodded, still flushed as he glanced to their ship, “So have you and your brothers traveled far?”
“As far as the coastline of the Tang’s holdings and a little south of that into the cities that seem to grow right out of the dense jungles,” Choso said with a smile, “We’ve seen our fair share of harbors and strange lands,”
Yuuji’s eyes widened in awe at that, fidgeting a touch, “I’ve never seen a jungle but heard stories of it,” he murmured, “Lands so hot the very air swelters and brims with water and strange beasts that roam along with tigers and leopards!”
Choso chuckled, “Seen a few of those, but mostly in cages to be displayed. My brothers and I tend to not wander far from our boat and conduct our business quickly,”
Yuuji could see a slight grimace in Choso’s face, one that was familiar to Yuuji as he often gave the same look when speaking of Sukuna. That same talk of knowing Sukuna never could truly be himself in public without being judged a monster. It had Yuuji tilting his head a bit, regarding Choso closely.
It was then he felt something off in the man, or rather something very familiar to Yuuji. He could sense curse energy fairly well, and it wafted off Choso in dense waves that reminded him of Sukuna. It had him smiling a bit, giving a dip of his head.
“I can understand that sentiment. My partner...tends to avoid things for the same reasons,” He glanced towards Choso, “Those born with things that make them stand out or think them a monster, right?”
Choso was silent, regarding Yuuji closely for a moment before he gave a small smile and nod, “Aye, something like that for sure,”
“You use curse energy,” Yuuji murmured, “I can feel that off you. Are you and your brothers sorcerers?”
“When we have to be,” Choso said with a shrug, “But we try to keep our business simple. Don’t want attention drawn onto us or our ship, The Death Womb Painting,”
“Death Womb Painting,” Yuuji repeated as he looked at the ship, “Kind of a grim name,”
“We can be a rather grim group of brothers. After all, with nine of us, sometimes we can butt heads over things,”
Yuuji’s eyes widened at that, “Nine brothers!?”
“Nine brothers and a handful of crew,” Choso paused then, looking Yuuji up and down, “But we are short a hand for our next voyage. One of our crew has decided to retire to see the golden years of his life pass by on a fishing boat,”
Yuuji just stood there, staring at Choso as the man cleared his throat, glancing away, “If you don’t mind some oddness among some of the crew and my brother of course, you could come aboard with us for our next route,”
Yuuji felt rooted in place as he stared at Choso with wide eyes. It felt like a sign had been given. An answer to his prayers, another path, was being put before Yuuji and all his eagerness to see the world, his longing looks to the horizon that those ships ventured onto had come together in that offer that Choso had put forth. Before him, was a path that promised freedom.
A place he could runaway to.
Excitement bubbled up in Yuuji’s chest and he smiled wide for the first time in a long while, “I would love to! I always wanted to go out to sea!” yet he paused, his enthusiasm dimming as he glanced away, “But I would have to speak about it with my partner,”
“Well, the offer stands but an answer before the morning would be best,” Choso said as he looked back to the ship, “We are hoping to be put out to sea just as the sun starts to rise to make good time to our next port,”
“I’ll have an answer before then for sure,” Yuuji said with a nod, “I’ll go speak with him right now in fact! If I’m not on the docks looking to board before midnight, assume...other things have come up,”
Choso gave a nod, “I’ll hold you to that Yuuji, but I hope you can. You seem excited to leave the life on land behind,”
“More I want to see the world, not just hear about it,” Yuuji gave a small laugh as he looked away, “Maybe I got a bit of wanderlust from having to move about so much, even if those moves weren’t really of my own will,”
Yuuji gave a shake of his head before turning away, “I’ll be hoping to see you seen Choso!”
He took off then, hastening his pace to the smuggler’s hideout with his heart beating rapidly in his chest and the blood thrumming in his ear. Excitement and nerves blended together and he almost wanted to stop at the nearest shrine and stutter out a thousand thank yous to the Buddha for giving him a sign like this. It was if all his longing had a purpose now, that all this time the calm he found with the sea was the finger pointing out to that far off horizon, telling him to go. That beyond where the sun sunk into the ocean was the path he was meant to walk all this time.
That excitement carried him forward at a quick pace, practically running as he came upon the doors of the warehouse. He knocked on the door loudly, shifting from foot to foot and flashing a grin to the smuggler who opened the door to eye him before letting him enter.
That feeling of elation though faded the moment Yuuji stepped inside. The door shut behind him and the smuggler at the door who usually gave him a cheery greeting was silent and almost on edged as he kept his eyes adverted. Yuuji gave a confused look towards him as he crept further in, noticing a silence to the place, or rather a lack of greetings towards him save for murmured hellos and everyone avoiding him as if he had attracted some plague.
It felt like they were suddenly wary of him in a way that hadn’t been there even just yesterday. The whole aura of the place felt off and Yuuji couldn’t help a creeping sense of fear and wrong come up his back as he moved towards where Sukuna had set up office to oversee the place.
Yuuji couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong and as he walked across the main floor. There was a stench in the air, familiar and with an iron tang that had Yuuji feeling his skin crawl as he noted faint stains that hadn’t quiet been cleaned up on the floor. Fresh ones that were not there yesterday. Yuuji swallowed hard and he found himself looking over each smuggler, counting them in his head and naming each face. He did it once, then twice, then three times, each time ending with one face missing.
A face that yesterday had earned Sukuna’s ire and had Yuuji’s stomach sinking.
“Where’s Juzo?” Yuuji asked quietly to one of the guards at the base of the stairs up to the second floor balcony where Sukuna was currently speaking to some of the smugglers under his command.
The guard tensed, looking at Yuuji with a long stare that had fear brimming behind his eyes before he glanced away, “He doesn’t work here anymore,”
Yuuji was not naive. Not when it came to Sukuna.
Not when he knew what that look meant.
Yuuji stood there, feeling isolated in a room full of people that had just yesterday been as close as family, now keeping their distance and he knew why.
Another ghost at the table.
Another’s blood on his hands.
Yuuji’s lets felt like all the bones had been pulled out of them as he wobbled his way up the stairs. The unease and guilt had returned in full force as he came to the top. He felt hollowed out. He looked at Sukuna who looked back at him, giving a smile and relief clear in his expression, although it fell to concern as he took in Yuuji’s expression.
“Yuuji? What’s wrong? You took so long to get here and look pale,”
Yuuji stared back at Sukuna, feeling as numb as he had the day they left that slaughtered village, although this time, a question finally came out.
“Did you kill him?”
The question slipped out before Yuuji could catch it, practically a whisper as he stood there. Sukuna frowned a touch and gave a wave of a hand to dismiss the few trusted souls at the table. They did not linger, quickly taking their leave and giving a wide berth to Yuuji, not once making eye contact or saying a single word his way.
As if they had all been told to not speak to Yuuji and avoid familiarity. Been made to fear to do so.
“Kill who?”
“Juzo,”
A scowl touched Sukuna’s face as he looked down to the table in front of him and all the various paperwork spread over it, “He isn’t here anymore. I had him leave today,”
“Did you kill him?”
Sukuna just glanced over his shoulder, that frown turning into a darker scowl as his eyes narrowed, “Why would you think I killed him?”
“Because no one is treating me like they normally do. They are avoiding me. There is blood on the floor,” Yuuji said, eyes boring into Sukuna, “They are acting like coming near me is a death sentence. That when you think people get too close to me or are a threat, they always vanish. They always just leave the city,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, as he took a few steps towards Sukuna, “Just tell me the truth. Did you kill him?”
Sukuna just looked down at Yuuji, a scowl now firmly plastered across his face and something irritated and cold in his eyes. It was such a dismissive look, as if displeased that Yuuji was doing something wrong in daring to ask the question. Like he didn’t know Yuuji only asked it as a means to try and feed the desperate denial that wanted him to say no, to lie to him.
Sukuna just turned away, giving a wave of his hand, “No one would have missed him. He was trash,”
Yuuji felt his heart clench in his chest.
“You don’t know that,”
“I do know that, Yuuji. Like a lot of people in this world, some of them are not so kind and deserve to have unending mercy,” Sukuna growled as he picked up one of his reports, scanning it idly, “He was touching you,”
“He didn’t do anything to me, Sukuna,” Yuuji said, finding almost hard to breath pass the cold knife in his throat, “I was fine. Everyone else was fine,”
“You don’t need anyone else when you have me, Yuuji,” Sukuna growled out, “I thought you knew that by now?”
Those words, possessive and cold, wrapped up in what Yuuji knew were true feelings of affection for him, horrible chains of love that burned against Yuuji’s skin as he felt himself being bathed in the blood of everyone who would dare to try speak to him.
Yuuji felt like he was drowning. He wanted to be silent. He wanted to run.
Instead he found his voice for the first time in a long time.
It bubbled out of his chest as the words burning in his soul for too long came clawing out.
“Maybe I don’t need you anymore if you are going to keep hurting me and not listen to me!”
That had Sukuna going deathly silent and he slowly turned to face Yuuji. That scowl had turned into a leer that bordered on something almost hateful, “What?”
“I hate this Sukuna. I hate everything about this smuggling, the murder, the killing. I hate how you can sleep so well and I am kept awake night after night by nightmares of all the death you make it seem like I’m responsible by just staying by your side!”
The words wouldn’t stop coming out now, choked with emotions that could no longer be bottled up, “I love you Sukuna. I’ve always been by your side but this, all this,” he shook his head, “How can I forgive this?”
“So it is at the death of some gutter trash that I lose your forgiveness?” Sukuna sneered, looming over Yuuji, his gaze burning, “After all I’ve done for you?”
“I didn’t ask for any of this! Never once! You always tell me what I should want!” Yuuji shot back, “Don’t you see how this is not good for us? Not good for me? I never said anything because I wanted to make you happy! That if I made you happy you wouldn’t...you would stop….hurting people,”
His words were cracking and there was a flicker of uncertainty in Sukuna’s expression as Yuuji looked away, “Isn’t there a way for us to both be happy with each other? Like things were when we were young? Just life made simple?”
Sukuna sighed, “Yuuji, life cannot be like that for us, for me,” He said with a frown, “I don’t want a simple life,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, “Then what do you want? This life you are pursuing that is all the pleasures you want, or do you want me?”
“I do not see why there has to be a choice, Yuuji,” Sukuna frowned, eyes narrowing, “Why can’t you just be happy?”
“I don’t fucking know! Maybe I could be if I didn’t feel like every time I speak to anyone, they die! Or that every place I feel like home gets ripped apart by the violence, the death that keeps following us?! That it feels like you want a version of me that doesn’t exist anywhere but in your own head!”
He was trembling as Sukuna just stared at him. It was such a cold and irritated look. Nothing like the soft expression or soft praises of last night. It was like Sukuna had two faces, one that was so capable of being generous and loving.
The other face though was something so dark, Yuuji felt his heart cracking when that unfeeling expression was fixated on him.
“What has gotten into you that you?” Sukuna finally said with a sigh, “You act like I’m being cruel to you. I keep you safe Yuuji. Without me, how many times would you be dead? You are naive and emotional. If you just sat down-”
“You would have been dead if I hadn’t taken your hand at the monastery,” Yuuji said dully as he stared at the ground, “If I hadn’t taken your hand to run. You would have stayed there and been killed. If I hadn’t nursed you back to health through your illness, you would be dead,”
He lifted his gaze to glare back at Sukuna, defiance written in his expression, “You always act like I need you, but you don’t want to admit that you need me just as much or I’ve kept you safe too,” Yuuji felt his hands clench into fists, as something burned in his chest with a new fire, “But maybe, Sukuna, maybe I never needed you in the first place and you just always needed me!”
He didn’t wait for a response as he turned on his heels and ran.
“Yuuji!”
He heard Sukuna call out to him but he didn’t stop. He pushed his way out of that warehouse and kept going, heading back to their home. His heart burned and his emotions swirled worse about him. He knew he was crying. He wasn’t sure why he was crying other than he felt too overwhelm to keep anything in.
His anger and love burned so hot, each one trying to suck of the oxygen in his chest to keep itself going and consume the other. He felt lost and disoriented. He felt so hurt, ripped apart just like the victims of Sukuna’s rage in the village so long ago.
Maybe a piece of him had died that day, laying with the bandits and villagers, all staring wide eye at the sky, mouths open and staring at Yuuji. None of them buried. Their ghosts like curses upon Yuuji and blaming him for all that had happened.
His fault. All his fault.
He should have let Sukuna die. He should have never met Sukuna. How much better it would have been if maybe they hadn’t met at all and become so entranced by the other, so in love.
So bound together in a destructive cycle.
Yuuji stumbled into his room with a choked sob. He stared at the room, so opulent and full of things that were given to make their lives comfortable. This life should have been perfect.
But it was so horribly wrong and twisted.
Yuuji couldn’t look at it as he imagined the blood dripping off it. The ghosts that sat around the room. His guilt gnawed and ripped apart him from the inside, threatening to make him a hollow shell.
In all of that, he heard Ahoto whine and he looked over to where the dog sat near the open window that looked out to the lulling calm sea. To the boats by the dock and how one boat, a dark, grim looking thing, stood out like a beacon.
Yuuji stared. His heart hammered in his chest as he remembered Choso’s offer.
Yuuji took one step, then another, and then he was grabbing up a bag and soon was grabbing things to shove into it. He grabbed his prayer beads and the little idol of his shrine. The stuffed tiger, now beaten and worn, that he had kept all this time through the worse of their lives. He grabbed the clothes he liked, simple things without the oppulence that Sukuna tried to press upon him.
He packed so little as Yuuji never needed much to be happy. He had never needed all of this to be content.
“Yuuji!”
Yuuji froze, looking wide-eyed over his shoulder as Sukuna stood in the doorway. He looked a tad out of breath, no doubt having run from the smuggler’s den straight to their home. All four eyes were open now, taking in Yuuji before narrowing.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,”
The words came out in a shaky whisper, trembling with fear.
The answer brought a look of confusion to Sukuna’s face, breaking through the irritation,” What?”
“I’m leaving,” Yuuji repeated, the words coming out easier this time, stronger, “I can’t...I can’t stay here anymore. I have to, just, just anywhere but here,”
“Anywhere but here?” Sukuna snarled, “What is wrong with here?”
Yuuji just shook his head, unable to answer the question. Everything was wrong. Nothing was wrong. Both those truths lived in Yuuji’s heart and swirled about and pulled his thoughts in every direction save for the path he clung at that led away from all of this.
Salvation in freedom. In escape. In letting go of all these feelings and trying to find who he was.
“Tell me, what is wrong with here, Yuuji,” Sukuna snarled as he stalked over to him.
“I don’t know,” Yuuji stammered out, “I just have to go,”
“You don’t have to go anywhere,”
Four hands were on Yuuji, pulling him against Sukuna. One hand caressed Yuuji’s cheek, possessive but with an affection that could not be denied, “If it is the killing that bothers you, I can stop that,”
It was such a sweet empty promise but it was one Yuuji heard before. After the village, Yuuji had cried for hours with Sukuna whispering apologies and how he wouldn’t do it again. So many words all meant to appease and keep Yuuji content and close. Yuuji knew Sukuna would do anything, say anything to keep him there and how he yearned to give into that again.
The anger though in his soul, a defiance that had been kept away to try and keep the peace, was growing in him. That strong feeling told him if he didn’t leave now, there wouldn’t be anything left of him but what Sukuna wanted.
Not what Yuuji wanted.
He closed his eyes and took a breath before he put his hands gently to Sukuna’s chest and pushed him away with as much grace as he could, “No,”
“What?”
“It won’t stop, Sukuna,” Yuuji said softly as he stepped back, lifting his tear-stained face to regard Sukuna, “It hasn’t stopped since it started,”
Sukuna looked baffled, unsure now as he watched Yuuji take another step away from him, “Yuuji-”
“Sukuna, I’m tired of trying to lie to myself that I can just forget what has happened,” he said quietly, but with a firm edge as he finally found strength in his own will, “And tell myself I can be happy if you are happy. Love, real love, doesn’t work like that,”
Sukuna was staring at him, looking all the more unsure as if he wasn’t sure what to do about Yuuji in this moment, “Do you doubt I love you?”
“I never doubt that,” Yuuji sighed, looking to him, apologetic and with all the sorrow in his cracking heart, “Just as you should never doubt I love you, but, this is not the life that will make us happy,”
Yuuji picked up his bag, looking at it before sliding it onto his shoulder, “I’m leaving, but you can leave with me, Sukuna. We can leave this place and work together to find a place that fits us better. Where I can believe your words and you can trust in me. That like when we were young, we can depend on each other, not try to smother the other,”
He looked up at Sukuna, for the first time feeling a sort of balance in his own soul, even as he trembled, “We can both be happy Sukuna, but you have to learn to let me go,”
Sukuna almost seemed to flinch at that and he hesitated a moment before the dark look came over his face and he sneered, crossing both arms over his chest, “So that’s it. Just leave. Just leave and go where?”
“I don’t know,” Yuuji admitted as he stared at the floor, unsure before he frowned and gripped tighter at the strap on his bag, “But I don’t always need to know where I’m going right? We were taught that we must sometimes let life lead us where it must,”
“You are a fool. You would rather risk starvation and uncertainty than what we have here?” Sukuna gestured around, “And what about your damn mutt?”
Yuuji glanced to Ahoto. The dog sat there staring at him, still and with sorrowful eyes, but it simply laid down, putting his head upon his paws, as if in silent permission for Yuuji to leave. He couldn’t help swallowing harder before closing his eyes, “I’m leaving Sukuna,” he said again, reaffirming his own will once more, “You either come with me, or,”
Or this might be the last time he saw Sukuna.
The fear of being alone clutched at him. The chains of fear and love tightened about him, but he took a step forward against their pull. A small weak step, but the second one was a little bit stronger. Then another step. And another. He pulled against those chains with a steadily growing strength, knowing he had to leave.
He couldn’t stay here like this.
Sukuna stood there in his way though, glaring with all four eyes, all four arms crossed over his chest.
“Or what?” Sukuna asked, tone cold.
“Or I don’t know. I don’t know what will happened,” Yuuji finally said, his words tired now, “Maybe these are the last words we ever say to each other,”
Sukuna tensed, staring at Yuuji before he sneered looking away, “It won’t be. You always come back to me. You can’t be without me. You never could. You will be back this evening to beg my forgiveness and I will give it to you and this whole incident will be just a sour note,”
Yuuji narrowed his eyes as he pushed past Sukuna, ignoring the look of his lover, even as it tore open his heart more and more.
“And you could never be without me,” Yuuji said quietly as he reached the doorway, pausing in it a moment, “So maybe you’ll follow me and works this out,”
“I’ve never crawled after you, brat, and I don’t intend to start now. I’ve taken care of us. I’ve done nothing but make this work,” Sukuna sneered as he moved to grab up a bottle of sake, pulling out the stopper with his teeth. He spat the stopper out, sending a hateful, pitiful glare into Yuuji’s back, “You are weak. You’ve always been weak,”
Yuuji looked over his shoulder at Sukuna before swallowing. The hate was not new. Yuuji had just been in denial in how it was more apparent at times in Sukuna’s face. There was anger in his own soul, but he would not allow it to stain this final moment.
Especially if he never got to speak to the one person who was his whole world that he was about to let go of, “I don’t want to say goodbye,” Yuuji said softly, “Just know I love you. I’ll always love you. There will always be a place for you in my heart, even if it will ache forever for the memory of you,”
Sukuna scoffed as he sat down, glaring at the wall, “Then why are you leaving?”
“Because I have to,”
“You are a pathetic fool,” Sukuna growled before taking a long drink, “You’ll be back,”
Yuuji blinked back a few tears before bowing his head, “Please take care of Ahoto until I come back. Then maybe, maybe we can sort this out,”
He took a deep breath, “But I want you to come with me, more than anything. To see the world. So I hope, I will see you at the docks,”
“You’ll be back,”
Yuuji stared at Sukuna’s back, fighting with himself before he turned away, “I love you, Sukuna,”
Sukuna said nothing back, his cold glare fixed into the wall and not even a glance in Yuuji’s direction. Yuuji hesitated, his will trembling before he took a breath and turned away. Each step was hard but he forced himself forward. He pushed past his feelings, his grief, his anger, and all the suffering that clung to him as he walked.
He had to let go.
He had to let go of fear as he walked down to the docks one step at a time. It was a fear of being alone and that he might be taking this next part of his journey in life alone. His hand felt empty for he and Sukuna had always held hands. There had always been something to hold. He wrapped his arms about himself just to have something to grasp.
He had to let go of the grief that clung to him that he might lose that wonderful feeling of being loved so completely just to escape the suffering of his guilt. Sadness never lasted forever. How many homes had Yuuji lost and learned to shed his tears, mourn the dead, and find peace to move on? Sukuna becoming another memory to mourn was painful, but memories dulled as he grew around his pain.
He had to let go of the anger that Sukuna would kill and blame him for it just to keep him in this twisted cycle they had found themselves in. Because he had to tell himself it wasn’t his fault. It was never his fault. Sukuna made his own choices, and his own path. It was not Yuuji’s fault if he could no longer hold back what Sukuna was going to become.
He had so much to let go of, but it clung to him, even as he dragged himself to the bow of the dark ship that promised him salvation.
Yuuji stood before the Death Womb Painting on the docks and couldn’t even work up a smile as Choso spotted him. The man offered a smile, although it faded with concern as he saw the tired, tear-stained face staring back at him, “What’s wrong?”
“I...” Yuuji swallowed before he looked down at the ground, “I am coming with you. I just need to come with you now,”
There was concern brimming in Choso’s eyes, but he gave a small nod as he offered Yuuji a hand, “Well, come aboard. We’ll get you settled on board first. In a day or two, can start training you on how to manage yourself on a ship,”
Yuuji stared at that hand and he trembled before reaching out to take Choso’s hand. It was rough, clammy, and a bit cold, different than Sukuna’s grip, but it was firm. It was firm and felt like something grasping him out of the air to try and offer him a place to cling to in the maelstrom of his emotions.
Choso pulled him aboard and Yuuji glanced around, well aware of the eyes of the other crew on him. He felt on edge, almost nervous that if he looked at them or offered greeting, he would put them all at risk of Sukuna’s anger.
Choso kept by his side, glancing over as he patted Yuuji’s shoulder, “You need anything? You look like you had a rough evening,”
“No. Nothing,” Yuuji said softly, “Just..as we sail away. I just want to watch,” He swallowed hard, closing his eyes, “I want to watch this place drift away,”
Choso regarded him with a gentle expression as he nodded, “That’s fine. Take the time you need,”
Yuuji nodded, giving a grateful smile. He didn’t go to the back of the ship, not at first. He stood where he could see the docks, staring at it all night as he couldn’t sleep. When the crew roused themselves just as dawn started to break, it was only then Yuuji moved to the back of the boat. There he seated himself, cross-legged as he had learned as a monk, settling into his meditations. The prayer beads were in his hands and he whispered his prayers, softly, desperately as he his gaze remained on those docks, even as the ship began to slowly pull away.
Hope was in his chest that Sukuna would come. That they would work things out together, one step at a time, and be able to let go of whatever demons were chaining them to this cycle of suffering.
The docks remained empty.
In an inn, far from the ship, Sukuna sprawled out on the floor with a bottle in hand, glaring at the door to the room, letting his anger mask the mad fear in his soul that Yuuji wouldn’t come back this time, but assuring himself he would, because Yuuji always came back.
It was the truth that their lives had always been built upon.
Yuuji always came back.
Sukuna always followed.
They always sought each other out. They always held hands and walked the same path, survived everything together, and had grown up together.
Those truths were breaking.
As the sun continued to rise and the docks grew smaller, Yuuji felt his grief grow larger and his heart break further.. Yuuji sat there at the back of the boat, face blank, staring at the shoreline as it grew more distant until the sea started to swallow it up. Then the mountains beyond began to sink into the ocean.
Once the sight of land vanish did Yuuji choke out a sob and press his face against his hand and let his heart finally break and let cruel acceptance settle in. .
On the other side, dawn crept across the floor, dull and red, a doorway remained as empty as the bottles scattered around the room. Sukuna stared with all four eyes, rimmed red with the lack of sleep as he had sat up all night waiting for Yuuji to come back.
But he didn’t.
Because this time Yuuji wasn’t coming back.
The horror of that mixed with hate and anger as Sukuna buried his face into two hands and let out a sound of pure frustration and rage, although even he wasn’t sure if it was truly directed at Yuuji or at himself for not going after Yuuji and seeking his forgiveness.
Just to be forgiven one last time.
The only thing left was a distant hope as after all, a ship left, but it came back. Yuuji could wander the city for hours but always would return. Yuuji could still come back and when he did, Sukuna would be on the docks this time, to welcome him home.
Out of sight of the town, onto the broiling waves, Yuuji rose to his feet, turning away at last and looking over the sea that stretched out before them. He promised he would come back and hope maybe in that time, Sukuna would find what made him happy.
That maybe they could try again.
And in Sukuna, he rose at last to look at the sea his lover had looked upon, trying to see what about it may have drawn Yuuji away, but saw nothing but a dirty thing that washed up filth on the shores and came and went, day in and day out, with the same noisy rush.
He couldn’t see the the same thing as Yuuji. He never could. But he stared at it, wanting so desperately to know, even as he watched a single ship sink away into the horizon.
Sukuna stared at that ship, unable to look away. Yuuji stared ahead at the ocean opening before him, his back to everything.
Both of them could only mourn in the weakness and wonder how their reunion, if it was to ever come again, would play out.
Notes:
Am proud of this chapter, even if it took its time to get edited and needed a lot of reworking in parts! This chapter ha been in my head for months, so it feels good it is finally out and I can get into the second arc of this story... prepare yourselves. The pain is still coming.
Chapter 10: Storm
Notes:
This chapter made me cry and my heart hurt, but it is a very necessary chapter for both Sukuna and Yuuji's growth in the chapters leading to their fated reunion ; w ; I hope you enjoy, and prepare your tissues...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The world was always moving beneath Yuuji’s feet now in a constant rise and fall as the ocean rolled under the bow of the ship and tossed it up and down in an almost amused fashion. Such movement made every step Yuuji take on board the Death Womb Painting a wobbling affair that made him feel more like a child learning to walk again.
That thought was just one of many adjustments he had to account for with turning to a life at sea.
His stomach hadn’t agreed with the motion the first day and he found himself slumped over the railing, staring into the infinite deep and having a few regrets and wondering if he was dying. The second day had him fumbling over the most basic of tasks like tying the correct knots and understanding how a sail worked. The third day at least saw a change in Yuuji’s fortunes as his stomach had hardened against the sway of the ship and his sea legs were starting to adjust at last. Enough so he could get from one end of the boat to the other without taking a meandering path around the masts and railings like he was drunk.
He had also gotten time to better meet and adjust to his new crewmates and the motley lot they formed. Almost all on board were cursed touched or curse born. Save for Choso, many of them bore a variety of strange growths ranging from a mild horror to the truly monstrous. None of it though bothered Yuuji at all and he was all too eager to make friends, be it a rather shy Kechizu to the overly talkative Eso.
“Now Yuuji, the importance of a good knot is to take it slow at first until it is as second nature as breathing, “Eso said as he leaned up against the mast, enjoying the mid-afternoon sun, “You’ll find that even in the worse of an emergency, you’ll be tying knots like your life depends on it,”
Yuuji gave a nod from where he was crouched to listen, his body swaying slightly as the ship pushed ahead in the choppy waters of the sea, “I still feel like every knot I tie wouldn’t hold anything tight enough,”
“Then you got to practice more,” Eso said with a chuckle and waggle of the end of a rope towards him, “Come now, are you so unsure of your skills that you think you’ll never get better?”
That brought a slight flush to Yuuji’s cheeks as he glanced away, “Sort of had a bad turn of it where it felt like no matter what I did seemed to make improvements,” he admitted, “I guess I got discouraged,”
“Well on this ship, we are as family Yuuji, and as an older brother, it is my job to show patience with you as you fumble your way to being a proper sailor,” Eso flashed a grin, “Just like Choso shows patience with all of us when we are getting into mischief,”
“Patience indeed I think is misplaced as you lay about the deck,” A bored voice drawled from above, “Or are you working on your beauty sleep brother? Because I think it is my duty as your eldest brother to tell you that I don’t think enough sleep in the world will do you good,”
Eso jumped to his feet with a sheepish grin as Choso leaned down from the rigging, as sure-footed as a monkey, with an amused look on his face, “Ah! Eldest brother! I was merely giving Yuuji some pointers on knot tying. Don’t want him helpless if he needs to get something tied down in a pinch,”
Yuuji rose to his feet just as quickly in the prescence of the captain, giving a sheepish dip of his head, “I want to make sure I’m doing my share of the work while aboard,”
Choso let out a soft chuckle as he swung himself down, touching lightly back to the deck of the ship, “You’ll get there in time. For now, focus on the duties of the deck and cleaning I say. That can help as well, even if it doesn’t seem like much,”
Yuuji sighed, and gave a nod. As the newest crew member, he had been regulated to the minor chores of the ship, mostly cooking and cleaning. He didn’t feel terribly useful doing either, but without a fuss, he moved to pick up the mop he had abandoned in favor of listening to Eso’s lesson, “I’ll make sure these planks are spotless for sure, just wish I had a bucket that didn’t try to run away from me across the deck!”
Cleaning was something Yuuji knew how to do well. His youth had been spent cleaning monastery floors, temple idols, and washing linens. The deck of the ship was no different other than it was a floor that liked to tip one way or the other, sending Yuuji scuttling about with the push and pull of the waves. Not to mention the various barnacles and sea life that stubbornly clung and required him to get down on hands and knees to peel them off and send them back into the brine of the ocean.
It was rough work, but there was something calming about the familiar chore, although at times he found himself out of habit turning to his side, about to make a comment only to realize no one was there. Every time it happened, Yuuji had to pause, curious, before his heart would clench and his smile would fade.
There was an empty spot at his side that memory was habitually filling in with a blue-eyed, mischievous youth that had always been constantly at his side. Now the place Sukuna had occupied for so long was a strange hole in Yuuji’s life. It was a gaping emptiness beside him at night when he slept without the familiar warmth and weight against his back. It widened under his feet when he ate among the crew, feeling detached still, even if he was doing all he could to find something to fill that hole with something else.
Yuuji couldn’t help a sigh as he continued with his cleaning of the deck, dejectedly following his bucket of water around like a disappointed mother, at times looking out to the ocean, as if expecting the impossible to appear on the horizon. As if he would see Sukuna rowing out to sea after them, cursing and snarling, ready to put Yuuji face first into the ocean for leaving him behind.
It was a silly thought. He knew it wouldn’t come true, but it still made him smile, even if it was a painful thing to do. He clung onto the hope that maybe once he got back, there was something they could do to repair all of what was wrong between them.
“You okay? You are more morose than Tanso,”
Yuuji jumped at the question, scrambling as he nearly dropped his mop as he turned towards Choso and willed a bright smile on his face, “Uh! Fine! Fine! Just still adjusting!”
Choso gave a small nod, a small frown on his lips as he leaned some against the railing “I see,” he paused a moment before looking out over the ocean, “I just as as at times you seem rather content, then other times, a sadness seems to fall over you and you glancing back,”
Yuuji tensed and clutched his mop a little tighter, “I am trying to look forward and not think about who I left is all. Is it… bad to have regret going out to sea?”
“No. There is no shame in that,” Choso said with a soft smile, “A lot of us who go to sea are running from things. In fact, my brothers and I ran away from a lot of things when we left behind our home and found salvation in the sea, even if the ocean can be a deadly mercy,”
That had Yuuji glancing over, “You ran away from home?”
Choso gave a small nod, “Myself more than my brothers,” a thin frown touched his hips as his eyes narrowed as he stared out over the sea, “I was a more acceptable child in the house as I was born normal in comparison to my brothers,”
CHoso’s gaze slide along the deck over to his other brothers, almost all of them having such horrific flaws that made it obvious they were children of sorcery and curses. Unnatural and ungainly as they moved about the deck with ease, chatting idly to each other. A fond smile touch Choso’s face as he relaxed a touch, “I couldn’t bare to see them live locked up, used for fodder for experiments, and never be given a chance at life. Even when my relatives told me they were evil and cursed, only monsters that would grow up to do harm, I didn’t sit right with me that the never got a choice,”
The captain of the Death Womb Painting closed his eyes, his expression a touch more tired, “I left behind a lot and sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice. If this life of danger at sea, risking everything against the whims of gods and nature was better or if my sacrifice of a normal life of safety and comfort will matter at all,”
Yuuji followed his gaze, feeling that twist of guilt in his chest, “And what helped to make you not feel like you made the wrong choice?”
“They are happy and able to live their life and I still have my life to live,” Choso said softly as he opened his eyes with a small smile, “There is pain at first, guilt, but it does begin to fade as you look back on your life and see that you did everything you good and feel satisfied you did all you could,”
That gave Yuuji pause and his brow furrowed as he let those words seep in. He had looked back on his life a lot, mostly to try and figure out where everything had gone wrong. At every turn, he had blamed himself for what happened, but never had he felt there was any contempt or regret.
It wasn’t until the attack on the village, that slaughter that he couldn’t look away for, did regret seep into his life. He wondered at times if he would go back to port and find nothing but bodies piled up. That when he returned, Sukuna would be more monster than man without him to hold onto.
Was he a selfish idiot who chose his freedom over the lives of so many by unchaining himself from Sukuna’s destructive love?
That thought had Yuuji shivering as he closed his eyes, “I think I feel as if I’ve been too selfish and others will suffer for my choice,”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I, because I was the only person that was in the way of someone doing something horrible,” Yuuji said as he clutched his mop for comfort, “That me leaving will, I just,”
He hated how he could feel tears at the corner of his eyes as he struggled to put into words every worry and fear he had. He wiped at them angrily as he stared daggers into the faded planks.
“We have never been apart like this. I’m worried about him, worried about what he’ll do. Worried I’ll come back and he won’t be the same and if, what if,” Yuuji couldn’t finish his thought.
It was a painful thing to think he might come back and Sukuna would no longer want him in his life. That this flight of fancy would turn into him being left utterly alone with no one. That fear had Yuuji swallowing hard and closing his eyes, “but I couldn’t stay. I had, I had to leave. I keep trying to convince myself it was the right choice, but everything screams at me I did something wrong again,”
Choso’s hand was gentle on his shoulder, steadying, and firm even if it made Yuuji tense and try to pull away. The older man though didn’t let go, allowing his touch to be like an anchor holding Yuuji firmly on the earth and not allow his frantic thoughts to pull him away.
“You can’t control a lot of things Yuuji, least of all how other people are,,” He said gently, “You can’t tie your life, your worth, only to others. You may have people you love, but you can’t love them unless you yourself are happy too,”
“But you and your brothers, don’t you tie your worth to each other?” Yuuji stammered out.
Choso shook his head, “No. We are close and trust in each other and work to always be there for one another, but we are still our own selves. We stay together because we have learned to allow each other to be whoever we wish to be,”
Yuuji looked out at the sea, trembling, “But what if one of them did something terrible, would you still love them? Would you do everything to try and keep them from doing more, even if it hurt you?” Yuuji asked quietly.
Choso was silent. His gaze lingered out to sea before looking back over his brothers. It was a long moment before he sighed, looking to Yuuji with a firm look, “Of course I would still love them. Loving someone and knowing they are wrong are two different things. I would love them, that feeling is unconditional Yuuji, but I would also know that it is not my job to be their keeper. I can only do so much, protect them, but there the thing about love Yuuji, is you have to know when it is time to let go of them, if they are going down a path you can’t follow,”
Those words felt like a dagger that went through his chest and pinned into the swirling dark thoughts in his head. They were heavy as much as they were a relief. Choso’s words forced their way through the tight fist of guilt about his heart and began to force those cruel fingers to relent, and to permit him to realize that even if he could love, and always would love Sukuna, he maybe could never always be with him.
A quiet pain, but an accepted fact. A dichotomy that could exist, even if Yuuji wished with all his might that he could find the path forward where they both would find forgiveness in this world.
A quiet laugh escaped Yuuji, although it was tinged with unshed tears as he lowered his to stare at the deck, “With advice like that, I might start calling you brother,” he murmured, “Your words have been...painful, but they have helped,”
“I wouldn’t mind another sibling,” Choso said with a lopsided grin as he reached over to ruffle Yuuji’s hair, “Would bring the total to a nice even ten at least,”
“Then consider me your youngest brother at the tender age of twenty-three,” Yuuji said with a laugh as he wiped a hand at his eyes, “And utterly at your mercy for brotherly disappointment,”
“Please, all my brothers affectionately disappoint me,” Choso said with a chuckle as he straightened up, “You’ll just be fitting into the family by doing so,”
Yuuji smiled, feeling his heart settle and a warmth start to fill the ache that Sukuna’s absence had left behind, “Thank you. I think my mood might still be a tad glum, but in time, I can have hope I’ll do better,”
“And that is all we can do,” Choso said, although his gaze fell to the horizon and slowly the smile he wore began to fade.
He narrowed his eyes and then he was on the move as he quickly climbed up int othe rigging of the ship and leaned forward, fearless as he dangled over the water. Yuuji watched him and felt a slight chill of anxiety as he knew well that Choso was a rather laid-back soul. Never once had he gotten so eerily serious.
“Something wrong?” Yuuji asked slowly.
“Dark clouds on the horizon,”
Yuuji turned to follow Choso’s gaze then, squinting some against the glare of the sun. The weather seemed idyllic with a few stray clouds against a beautiful deep blue, but the horizon had gained a sliver of darkness to it. It was a taint of black ink spilled against the beauty of the day that had Yuuji uneasy with how Choso regarded it quietly. The man’s eyes were narrowed, a thin frown on his lips before he climbed down and gave a pat to Yuuji’s shoulder, “Go below and wake everyone. We have to prepare. Looks like a storm is coming in fast,”
Yuuji nodded, his gaze sliding back to that black mark against blue skies and nodded, “Right,” he paused, looking to Choso, “Is that a bad thing?”
“If we are lucky, we won’t have to find out if it is a bad thing,” Choso said quietly, concern on his face at that dark horizon, “But if we end up in that storm, pray to whatever faith you follow that you’ll be carried through with your life,”
Choso turned to hurry away, already starting to yell orders to the crew on deck and the lazy atmosphere on the ship began to quickly turn towards something more grim. Yuuji swallowed before he was hurrying off below deck to do as Choso had ordered him.
It felt strange to wake the crew for something so far away, a mere sliver of concerning darkness hugging the edges of the world, but as the hours passed, that black expanse only grew more pronounced and spread like a poison over blue skies. The white clouds were soon heavy with rain and a low rumble of thunder started to make its way across the sea. The sails had been all unfurled as the ship tried in vain to get ahead of the approaching gloom and make their way to safety.
No safe port was in sight, and that brewing storm was soon starting to stir its fingers into the water as it growled after them.
The ocean, once meandering, now began to rise and fall with more anger. The waves were starting to crest higher in a restless, writhing mass that licked along the side of the Death Womb Painting and starting to spill along her deck. All the while the crew was silent, bent to their work and doing all they could to prepare. It was when the storm started to draw closer did the orders come down like a call of doom.
“Roll up the sails and bring down the rigging! Stow away everything we can and close all hatches!”
The crew exploded into action at that point and Yuuji did what he could as the roiling thunder continued to come and the wind started to increase from a gusty angry sigh to a howling snarl. Yuuji felt helpless, completely at the mercy of the element once more. His mind took him back to the howl of winter along frozen roads and nights spent tucked beside boulders with Sukuna, covered in frost and wondering if there would be a dawn to wake up to. The sky was just as dark as those days as the clouds ate up the sun and left a barren grey upon the land. It felt like a strange night was falling on them as the sails were put away and the first thick drops of rain began to fall on the ship. Choso was at the helm, keeping a firm grip upon the steering as his eyes were fixed ahead, single-minded in his purpose to always keep the ship pointed straight into the snarling, rising black monstrosity that the ocean had come.
The ship was a knife as it plowed into every cresting wave, letting water crash down over the deck and pass away along the sides. Yuuji clutched at the railing as he moved along to the small safety of the pavilion on deck where the rest of the crew huddled together like mice as the storm began to rise in fervor.
“Is there anything we can do?” The question was a panicked one that fell from Yuuji’s lips as he saw Eso’s form in the darkness and settled himself behind the more experienced sailor.
“Pray at this point. We’ve done everything we could, now we are in Choso’s hands to keep us straight and hope the storm doesn’t batter us towards land,” Eso said quietly, “Without visibility, we could end up blown anywhere. Hopefully in one piece, if the gods permit it,”
His words were punctuated by a loud crack of thunder and the blinding flash of lightning as it danced over the water. The sky was so dark now, as if all light had been sucked away. The once beautiful sea had turned into a swollen black monster that rose and fell, teeth of white illuminated as each wave came tearing down towards the ship with each bright flash of wild lightning. The bow of the ship was no longer puncturing through as much as riding up each towering monolith that rose in the darkness, climbing desperately to reach the top of each swell and plunge downwards into another surging trough of boiling, freezing water.
Yuuji felt his heart and stomach rise and fall with the ship as the winds rose in fury, battering them and working to try and throw them off course. There was nothing to see, nothing to feel but cold water and driving wind that roared in Yuuji’s ears as he and the cowering crew clung to what they could. There were figures out on the desk, the first watch of the crew that was making sure the ship remained steady and Choso himself, an unmoving bulwark that kept the ship straight with every rise and plunge, eyes fixed ahead, like some statue lit up in the tapestry of fracturing light that raced along black, swirling clouds.
All that could be felt was the fury of the gods. Fear was ripe in Yuuji’s soul, blind and deaf to everything but what lightning and thunder revealed. In those flashes of life, it was like the hands of some ancient sea god was closing fingers down around them, washing over the ship and leaving them almost drown before the bow of the ship pushed upwards, rising out of the brink. Water streamed out along the ship and the frantic crew worked to throw buckets of water overboard to help in keeping the ship afloat and be able to power her way forward still and safeguard her crew through the tempest.
Time had no passage, only a black, eternal night that had swallowed them and seemed to have no end in sight.
The storm only seemed to get more wild and ragged, screaming, even as the crew fought with everything they had to defy it and make it through to safety.
The will of the ocean though was unpredictable and what hope there was was swept away as a massive wave caught the Death Womb Painting across the side of the bow, pushing it off center and forcing the ship upwards nearly horizontal. Choso was cursing as he fought against the turn of the boat to try and straighten it, just as a mammoth mountain of water came down. Yuuji hadn’t seen it, only heard it, just before it washed over the desk.
The world was silent for a moment and he felt himself pushed along the deck with nothing to grasp onto. His hands found a railing and panic had him gripping onto it tight even as water dragged alongside him. As quickly as the wave had swallowed him, the world exploded into heaving noise as the wave passed and Yuuji gasped out in the night. The screams of terror and yells of men filled his ears even over the roar of the waves and unrelenting beat if the wind. In the wild light of the storm, bodies and dark forms flopped about the deck like gasping fish, trying to grasp at anything before another wave would fall over and those forms would be swept away. Yuuji adjusted his grip on the railing, wrapping one arm and legs about it as his other hand flailed out wildly into the frothing mass of water, looking to try and grasp onto one of those screaming bodies before they were snatched up into the gluttonous maw of the ravenous sea.
A hand latched onto his as the lightning flashed above and Yuuji didn’t hesitate to close onto it tight. As the horrid blue haze of light flickered again across the clouds, Eso’s eyes found Yuuji’s, filled with fear and panic as both his hands held onto Yuuji’s free one. Kechizu clung to his brother, wailing in an animistic dread as the water pulled at the two of them, the ocean so hungry and desperate to take them all away.
Yuuji gritted his teeth, the fear he felt pushed down by a stronger will, the same one that had carried him through blizzards and storms before. His grip tightened and he refused to let go of Eso’s hand or the railing he was wrapped about. Even as the sea battered at him and the wind howled, Yuuji made himself like unbreakable stone. He would not let any of them die even as the ship lapsed and bobbed about. The weight of the cargo was the only thing keeping the ship from capsizing and Choso still was at his post, pushing everything he could into trying to get the ship straight again like a tireless ox, roaring in defiance.
The sound of wood cracking filled the air and the once proud mast started to fall, crashing onto the deck as the wind and waves finally forced it to bow. The fall of it split the hall, allowing more water to gush into the holding below and forced the ship lower and lower into the water. In the flashes of white light, it felt like a beast was swallowing up the ship within the heart of that storm. Yuuji didn’t know what to do. He prayed, voice raised against that tempest as he held on, his grip never wavering, begging for a mercy he knew wouldn’t come. In the darkness, the ocean’s voice rose into a louder hiss, nearly a roar and something black and unforgiving rose up the darkness like the fingers of some corpse.
Yuuji felt the railing under him crack as the boat slammed against something unyielding in the water and all the world was thrown into darkness. The water dragged him, Eso, and Kechizu down into its maw at last and the world was plunged into a muted silence. Yuuji was aware of a pain in his side as his free hand lashed out to try and grab onto something and his ears rang with the rumbling silence. His lungs screamed as he tried to hold his breath and try and find the surface. The water around him was illuminated by the storm in bursts, showing broken wood and bodies, both squirming and unmoving, sinking among the giant rocks they had been thrown upon. Strange things moved in those depths too among the bodies of the crew, sometimes diving in, feeding, as the denizens of the ocean took delight in their fresh meal.
It was like a painting of death, blood trailing and everything sinking. Dying. Swallowed up in the yawning darkness below as the pieces of their vessel slowly descended.
Yuuji felt Eso’s hand like the only real thing in that silent, floating emptiness below heaving waves. He saw his eyes in the brief moments of light, his mouth forming silent words, blood blooming out around like a horrific canvas.
Eso smiled, soft and pained as something started to drag him deeper. Yuuji refused to let go, even as it pulled him further from the salvation of the surface and air for his screaming lungs.
Eso smiled and then that hand let go of Yuuji’s.
Yuuji wasn’t sure if he screamed as he tried to grasp onto Eso. He lashed out, trying to find that hand again as the darkness fell over the water again. His fingers founds nothing and he flounder, his head growing heady as he swallowed water, before the ocean surged around him and for a brief moment, his head broke the surface and he screamed. He screamed and gasped for air with all the fury and loss he could before the ocean swallowed him up again. He was tossed in some current in froth waves, blood trailing him in the water as he was thrown about the surging rocks of a distant shoal. Something hard crashed against his head, rattling Yuuji’s senses but he grasped onto the object instinctively even as his vision darkened at the edges. It was one of the boxes of cargo set lose from the broken haul of the ship and trailing its lashing like tentacles in the water. Yuuji’s fingers grasped at those ropes, trembling and frantic as he pulled on it. He managed to tie the rope about him, knotting it before he let go of his floating salvation to dive down into those dark depths.
He couldn’t see. The salt stung at his eyes, the dark things in the water gathered around him were all blurred into a mass. He reached out, desperate, trying to find something to grasp onto.
In his mind, he knew he could find Eso and save him and his brother. He could. They could survive.
They could-
A hand grasped at Yuuji’s own and he didn’t think as much as he pulled hard, kicking for the surface. The hand tightened on Yuuji and then grasped onto the rope as they emerged from the brink and into the wild howling of the surface. A gasp of breath entered Yuuji’s chest again as he grasped at the floating box, his grip tight on the other hand. The person he had pulled out was gasping as well, a pale hand clutching at the box as they were tossed along.
Yuuji couldn’t see who it was as the ocean pushed them along. The lightning and wind had started to die and the rumbles of thunder were slowly starting to become more distant as the storm left to find other places to hunt. The ocean was hissing and pushing around them, driving them forward into a surging tide that was moving into crawl up whatever shore was nearby. The clouds remained grim, even as the ocean waves began to quiet, although Yuuji could feel the pull of the tide, as it lulled them around the large black masses of rocks and shoals.
The moonlight was slow to come out, weak, but a merciful face, as if to let them know that all had passed. It was an almost eerie silence that fell upon the ocean, as if the moments of fury had never happened. Yuuji felt pain along his side and was sure he was bleeding into the water. He was too tired to look, his lips cracked and all he could taste was iron, salt, and the filthy brine of the sea. The breath of whoever he had saved came in slow pants from the other side of the box they both clung to. They floated in the calm of the sea with the only mercy being the black stretch of land that lingered so close and offering some matter of salvation. Yuuji took a wheezing breath before he forced his weary body to kick towards the shoreline. The other did the same, gasping and coughing and slowly the two of them and the floating crate inched closer to the shoreline.
It felt like hours before Yuuji felt sand beneath his feet and he dragged himself onto the shore on trembling limps before collapsing onto the safety of land. He turned his head, watching the other that he had saved stagger forward.
Long hair hung about the pale, but familiar face of Choso. His bore wounds along his shoulders and chest, but nothing more than scrapes. He stood there, eyes wide and in a stunned shock before he dropped to his knees. Neither he nor Yuuji spoke. They looked at each other, too tired, to weary, too hollowed out from the adrenaline and fear to comprehend.
Choso collapsed onto the sand beside Yuuji with a choked sound in his throat, his eyes closing as he shuddered. Yuuji closed his own eyes, his mind too tired to remain awake and keep trying now that a relative safety was found.
Sleep overcame him slowly, clawing at his senses as he stared up at the sky and the tearful moonlight, as the last thing he saw before his mind slipped away into another suffocating blackness.
________
Sukuna lay awake in his room, eyes fixed on the clawing darkness of the ceiling as he listened to the furious storm outside. Sleep did not come to him as he listened to the tremors of thunder that shook the eaves of the roof. The rain was so loud as it lashed at the windows and roofs, hissing and and trying to find its way in, only to slide scrambling off into the streets were it rushed away down sloped paths back to the sea. It felt like the whole world was unraveling in chaos beyond the sturdy walls of his room and as Sukuna laid there in the dark, one hand petting over Ahoto’s head, all his thoughts were on Yuuji.
Sukuna had heard countless stories of ships caught in such storms and how they were sunk beneath the waves without a sound or even a whimper. Horror stories of the monsters in the deep that would feed upon those poor sailors tossed overboard by waves and left to drown. Out there in that storm somewhere, on that heaving ocean, Yuuji was on a ship and it felt strange to Sukuna, but he found he could not sleep until the storm had passed, as if he closed his eyes for a moment, something terrible would come to pass.
He could only think of Yuuji out there and despite his anger, despite how much hate burned in him for the fact Yuuji had left at all, he perhaps found himself praying that Yuuji would be all right.
He could almost scoff at himself that he thought prayers of any kinds could do a thing.
Sukuna lay there until exhaustion took him as the faint, weak fingers of dawn started to creep over the ceiling to show the storm was gone.
Even then, his sleep was not restful and filled with wicked dreams of water and drowned bodies. Of things with teeth and soulless eyes that moved about broken boards and lifeless bodies to feed. Of blood and carnage as he helplessly sank into depths where no one would mourn him. A grave so deep, not even his hungry ghost would be able to find the surface again.
Sukuna woke with a jolt in the late afternoon, eyes wide and panting with a cold sweat. The sun had long since risen and the sounds of the city echoed about the room bringing with it a pleasant famiarity that helped to calm Sukuna’s rattled nerves. He let out a low, irritated groan as he rubbed two hands over his face. A scowl settled on his face as he scoffed at his childish fears and nightmares, already pushing them aside as he rose slowly to his feet. He was tired and a glance in the mirror showed the heavy bags under his eyes that were near constant since Yuuji’s departure. It only made his glares worse really and a sneer was already settling on Sukuna’s lips as he slunk away from the mirror to get dressed. He didn’t bother with his usual attire, instead settling for a simple white kimono with a black scarf thrown about his neck.
He hadn’t been in the mood to dress more extravagantly since Yuuji left.
He hadn’t been in the mood for much of anything save for his daily trip down to the docks to see if the ship Yuuji had left on had returned. The ship, The Death Womb Painting, from what the dock master said, was a common to call this place to port every few weeks. It ran trade from China to here, dealing more in small trade.
A part of Sukuna wanted to sink the ship for taking Yuuji away, but he knew that would do little, especially if the brat had gotten fond of the crew.
He wouldn’t do anything to the ship or crew, Sukuna had decided, if it meant Yuuji would stay this time. He would do anything to make sure Yuuji never left him again.
Waking up without Yuuji beside him had caused a terrible ache to settle in his chest. The nights were empty, more lonely in a way that unnerved Sukuna. He would roll over to reach for Yuuji only to find the spot he once occupied empty and the room too silent without the constant chatter of whatever topic had come to mind for his lover. The daylight was grey and murky. The town too loud.
Everything was tedious and aggravating without Yuuji there.
Sukuna let out a sigh as he lurched out of the inn, only pausing to allow Ahoto to catch up. The old dog trotted at his side as his constant companion now. Wherever he went, he brought the mutt along. Yuuji had loved that dog since the start, but Sukuna would be a liar if he hadn’t found comfort in the dog over all these years.
Now Ahoto was all he had left of Yuuji.
“He better show up today,” Sukuna growled, glancing down at Ahoto, “I’m getting sick of only petting you,”
Ahoto only looked up, tail wagging and giving a small bark in response that had Sukuna letting out a snort and allowing himself a small smile, “Yes, he owes you many a pat,”
Sukuna sighed, running a hand through his hair, “And I owe him an apology,”
An apology for what, Sukuna did not know, but he had the time to sit and think with Yuuji gone. He had the time to stew in his guilt and think about how he had done wrong by his lover. Once Yuuji came back, he was going to try and do better, try and listen to him more.
Try to contain that part of him that was so quick to violence and delighted too much in the depravity of the act.
Sukuna closed his eyes, opening only two as he began to make his way to the docks. The city docks had little activity which was of concern. By this late in the day, there should have been a myriad of ships in port with goods to load and unload. The inns should have been bursting with weary sailors with stories to tell. Even the fishermen could not be found in force but a glance to the beach showed the reason why. The storm had ripped apart many of the usual fishing vessels and no doubt their owners were lamenting their poor luck. The whole beach was a disaster of broken nets, flotsam from shattered boats, and rope slung all over like twisted snakes and the smell of rot was thick from the fish and sea life that had been thrown up to die.
It had Sukuna scowling, once more trying to understand why rushing out to sea had been so appealing for Yuuji. The whole dock was always filthy and stank, yet despite that, Sukuna found himself settling at his usual perch by the docks to keep an eye out for ships while Ahoto circled a few times before resting at his feet.
He should have been handling his affairs in the smuggling ring, but the day Yuuji left, he didn’t care anymore for any of it. He left it in the care of one of the other elders of the ring, only stopping by to pick up the profit and cast an agitated glance over the inventory before moving on. If it failed or not, at that point Sukuna didn’t care.
There was only one thing in this world he wanted back and it wasn’t something he could buy.
The first ship arrived late in the evening. It limped into the port with torn sails and a grim faced, mostly silent crew. Sukuna eyed them, half listening to their talk of the massive storm that had ripped through the trade waters and gobbled up many a ship. Already there were rumors of ships lost and the dock master had a touch of concern to his face as he took in their account. Another ship would arrive in the night, listening to one side and a mass bent over but not quiet cracked off with half her crew clinging to the carcass of their ship. The stories they brought were just as worrisome. They had been a fleet of three trade vessels sailing close, but only they had come out of the storm.
The only hope for them was that their compatriots had been blown off course and in a few days may arrive or be found in some other port.
More ships limped in throughout the night and Sukuna sat tense, letting his gaze linger over each and every one of them with growing concern. None of the ships that came in were the Death Womb Painting.
Sukuna slunk back to the inn to rest and eat, although he slept little with how worry ate at him. Sunken eyed and tired, he was back early the next morning, noting only one more ship had arrived, although most of her crew was reported dead in the tempest.
A restlessness settled in Sukuna as he paced the docks today before finally with a growl, he stalked over to where the dock master kept post, smoking on his pipe.
“Did the Death Womb Painting come in? Has there been word of it?”
The dock master’s brow furrowed as he chewed at the end of his pipe before letting out a sigh, “No word of that ship save for a few that spotted her making a run from the storm before being caught up in its grip,” the old grizzled man murmured as he scratched at his beard, “And no one saw her come out of it but that isn’t to say she didn’t limp to some other port,”
“Then there is no proof it sunk, yes?” Sukuna growled, anger rising in his voice to hide the panic that was growing in him.
“Not yet,” The dockmaster said softly, “Ships that sink often go quietly without a trace, Sukuna. If it is not back within a few more weeks-”
“That doesn’t say anything,” Sukuna said, near a whisper, voice trembling.
“A ship not spotted or reported in for that long is gone, Sukuna. There are few ships that have survived that storm and the Death Womb Painting was caught off the southern coast of China where dangerous currents and shoals can smash a ship that doesn’t catch sight of the dangers in time,” The dock master said with a look away, “I think you should expect the worse,”
Sukuna stood there, feeling a numbness fill him as he stared at the dock master. The man looked away with a sigh, “I’ll keep an ear out, but it is unlike that ship to make port a week overdue,”
Sukuna didn’t move as the dock master turned his gaze out back across the water of the bay. Those words were ringing in his mind but he refused to give then any thought. He let out a low growl before he turned on his feet and retreated to his usual post.
Yuuji would return. The brat would never just leave him nor go so quietly to death. He would overcome the storm. Just as they had done in the past on those cold roads they walked as children.
He would wait.
He waited and the days passed slowly until it was a week. Then a second week followed. Sukuna felt his mood grow more frantic, more irritable, and his appearance more haggard. Yet everyday he was at the docks waiting for some change, some sign of Yuuji’s return.
What he got inside was the dour faced dock master coming up to him as he ran a weathered hand through his thinning hair, “They found the Death Womb Painting lad. Or what was left of it,”
Sukuna stared at the man, scowling, “What?”
“What remained of the hall was found washed up among some rocks. They tried to pull it up to see if any of the cargo survived but it slipped away back into the depths,” The dock master said solemnly, “No one would have survived that. The entire crew is lost,”
“You are lying,”
“I have seen this again and again. Seen it countless times when the violent storms rush through,” the dock master said with a sympathetic, but firm look, “Whoever you are waiting for on that ship is gone lad. It is best to make your peace with that,”
Sukuna stood staring at the man even as he turned to limp off. Some part of him wanted to kill the dock master for his words, but the old man had no reason to lie. The ship was late and there was plenty of time for other ships to bring word of the Death Womb Painting’s survival.
The talk on the docks though was of the ship’s death. She had taken her crew into the storm and had not been strong enough to struggle through, crushed against rocks, the crew drowned in the vicious riptides that raced over those deadly shoals.
Sukuna wandered the docks in denial, staring off at the sea as if by some fate the ship would return. The rumors of death turned to confirmation though, turned to the ship itself falling away and forgotten. Another ship would be in to run its routes.
The Death Womb Painting was gone with her crew.
Yuuji was gone.
Yuuji was gone. Yuuji was never going to come back.
A wicked voice in the back of Sukuna’s mind whispered too that it was all his fault that Yuuji had been driven away, out of his grasp, forever. He had driven Yuuji away to danger, let him go alone out of his own bitter contempt, and the world had taken him away in punishment.
He would never see Yuuji again and his last memories, the last time he had spoken to him, was a bitter broken memory of those soft, pleading eyes, begging him to come with him.
The ocean mocked him with each wave against the shore, hissing simply one word at him.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Sukuna wasn’t sure where he was going, only vaguely aware he was moving again as he felt like the whole world was being shifted away under his feet and replaced with some new landcape he couldn’t comprehend. The whole city felt new in a frightful way and Sukuna felt all more the eyes on him and the disdainful looked cast upon his tattoos. Yuuji was gone and he was thrown into a world that was unfamiliar and unfiltered through the kindness and optimism that Sukuna hadn’t realized he had thrived on.
He walked through the city and then away from it, staggering onto the lonesome more wild beaches that crept along the coast. Once, the two of them had walked those beaches together after dinner for a stretch of the legs in summer. Or rather, Sukuna always walked and Yuuji would be sprinting ahead, laughing with Ahoto ambling about at his heels. He would always turn back, yelling for Sukuna to hurry up as he found some new thing washed up on the shore, be it some strange fish or a disgruntled crab that scuttled angrily back into the surf. Sukuna had just sighed and followed after him at his own pace, but he had always eventually caught up, taking Yuuji’s hands in his own and a kiss from his lips.
Even at his fastest, Yuuji had never run far enough that Sukuna couldn’t find him again.
This time though, Yuuji had run ahead of him, but he couldn’t see him standing in the distance. Tired, frantic eyes flitted over the empty beach ahead, looking for some sign of Yuuji there. A mad panic was in Sukuna’s mind then as his breath became more labored and a soft, almost animistic whine choked its way out of his throat. He started running, as if if he could move fast enough to catch up with wherever Yuuji had gone this time.
He was gone though. Gone across the ocean, the skeleton of the ship he was on bashed against a foreign shore and his body remained out of reach in depths.
There was no bringing Yuuji back.
Sukuna staggered, four eyes open, frantic, staring at the sea with something vicious curling inside of him and that whimper turned into a roar of pure, absolute loss as all the emotions that had been numbed and distant finally surged out of him as he fell to his knees. He screamed as if that would do anything to sooth the ache that burned in his chest. The entire world had broken apart and left him with nothing.
No family. No friends. Not the man he loved so dearly that he had been so blind to that he had driven him off to die.
It was his fault this tragedy had happened. That was the thought that ripped through his heart. If he had been better, if he hadn’t ignored how Yuuji suffered, if he hadn’t killed anyone, everything would have been right. He was the problem, the calamity that ruined everything.
Everything he did, everything he so desperately fought for, all if it was pointless. The world turned on a lopsided angle and everything suffered, died, and struggled with nothing to show for it. All the rules and orders brought nothing.
The world’s facade was breaking away to show a bleak, miserable, and uncaring face.
A broken laugh escaped Sukuna as he sat back. The sound grew in volume, mixed with the heavy sobs as he cried for the first time in a long time. He hadn’t cried since the monastery burned up and with it, any chance of either him and Yuuji having a fair chance at life. It had always been Yuuji who cried for everything.
Yuuji though wasn’t there to sooth such emotions or let Sukuna know it would be all right. No arms to hold him. No laughter to try and brighten this wretched world. Sukuna was left alone to hold his grief, sobbing and screaming in a mindless rage that had no one to blame.
No one but himself.
“Useless. All of it was fucking useless,” he managed out between wretched gasps.
The smuggling ring, the stealing, the killing, all of it had been useless in keeping Yuuji with him. All of it was pointless in making him happy. All the wealth he had amassed and wrapped around himself was so worthless and empty. He strived to live like a noble and found nothing there.
Just like it had been for those whores, surrounded by the adoration of patrons and yet sobbing to themselves at night for what they really wanted. Now he shared in their grief at a life wasted and a future that promised nothing but an eventual death.
How much he wished he could die in that moment as his grief tore at him. In another life he could be with Yuuji and start over, do everything right.
Yet even all that left a bitter snarl in his chest that it would be just as pointless.
Sukuna was half aware of Ahoto letting out a soft whine as the dog rested up against his side, putting his old silver-furred head in his lap. The grieving sorcerer looked down into those sad eyes and couldn’t help out another choked sob before he gathered the dog tight into his arms for just something living, something that loved him, to hold onto.
Some spark of Yuuji still left he could grasp onto.
Ahoto didn’t pull away, only moving to lick his face and press back as if the damn animal understood why Sukuna was grieving and aware now that Yuuji wasn’t returning. Or maybe the dog had known the day Yuuji had left he would never grace either of them with his laughter or smile.
Everything hurt. The world was spinning away into fragments of tortured thoughts.
As the sun fell Sukuna’s gaze fell on that mass of stinking water that had swallowed up Yuuji as surely as it swallowed up the sun everyday. A mocking ugly thing but in those depths, something angry and uncaring started to reach up to clutch at Sukuna’s heart, poisoning it all the more against the world he was born unwanted into.
“Not again,” the words fell from Sukuna’s lips as a hissed whisper from between clenched teeth, “This will never happen again,”
He let one of his four hands pet over Ahoto as his gaze was fixed ahead. He had no more tears to give, no more emotions to expel. The daylight had taken everything and the night left him cold and numb, his heart empty.
And Sukuna decided he would keep his heart forever that way.
“I will never love another so dearly that losing them would be too much to bare,” Sukuna said softly, all four eyes narrowing, “I will live only for myself and no other. If this world is pointless and empty, then I’ll fill it with everything I enjoy and not care for a single other soul. I’ll burn the world and enjoy every minute of hope being ripped out of it,”
A grin tugged at his lips, empty and wicked and he couldn’t help a small laugh, “Love. What an absolutely worthless thing in the end,”
He would never let himself feel pain like this again. He would never love like that again.
If love was a curse, he carried it locked tight within his chest for those he loved were gone and he would keep their memories as warnings. He would keep to his vow and teach this world how useless the sentiment was as he plucked precious things away to play with, break, and cast aside at his pleasure.
He would experience the world in every form he wished, but love would be something he would always laugh about.
Laugh about and feel the empty hole in his chest where the pieces of his heart once sat, broken away and given to one person at a time until he had nothing left to give.
To the hole Yuuji left that would never be filled with anything as warm as the smile, the words, and the touch of his one and only lover. There was no one in this world who would make Sukuna feel like he was someone to be desired. Someone who still saw him as being permitted to be human.
Yuuji was gone and all there was left to do for Sukuna was to fill that hole with whatever pleasures he could pursue again and again until he bled this entire world dry to sate his want. It wouldn’t be enough of course. It would never be enough. But that was no concern of Sukuna’s as he started to laugh again.
He laughed while the sun died in the sea agin, and the darkness of the night sat beside him, laughing as well for the worse calamity that was about to finally awaken there on that empty beach. One storm had passed with fury, but the storm Sukuna planned to bring would make it look mild by comparison.
He closed his eyes, grinning, savoring the vicious thoughts already starting to circle around in his head as he let his hand pat over Ahoto.
He would make himself the greatest catastrophe of the empire and make them wish he had never understood what love was meant to be.
Notes:
This was a gut punch chapter. I must go write something fluffy as I'm all choked up still.
Chapter 11: Two Paths Forward
Notes:
Sorry this chapter took so long! It is a very long chapter as it is both Yuuji's POV and Sukuna's POV also introducing some familiar faces into the story! I hope you enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The pungent smell of smoke stung in Yuuji’s nose as he awoke. That acrid stench worked its way slowly through his mind before it seized on old memories, awakening a sudden panic in the young man. He sat up quickly and for a moment, Yuuji was a child again, in the monastery of his youth, smelling the destruction that would soon take everything. A sudden throb to his temple had him wincing and squinting though not into the darkness of his old room, but into the bright, unforgiving sunlight that had him closing his eyes tight again.
Yuuji raised a hand to his throbbing head, pausing as he felt the course material of sail cloth that had been torned and fashioned into some sort of bandage about his brow. He could hear the crackling of fire, the sound of the rushing ocean against the shore, and slowly this time, Yuuji opened his eyes.
Before him was not a scene of carnage, but a sunny beach, covered with cast up debris from the storm and the gentle roll of sea foam over the beach. Yuuji stared for a long moment as he took it in and he could not stop a shiver of terror that roiled up his spine as he recalled the maelstrom he had survived the night before.
“Welcome back. I’m glad you woke up, little brother,”
Yuuji’s wide-eyed gaze left the sea and turned to the fire where Choso sat tending it. The man looked haggard and his eyes sunken into his face even more as he stared at the few small fish he had skewered over the small fire he had made. His long hair hung down limply about his face, making him look more like some forlorn spirit than a man. He wore a small, thin, humorless smile, empty as his expression that made Yuuji’s heart clench for having seen that expression on one too many faces in his lifetime.
It was a look of deep loss. Yuuji could see the sorrow etched into every line of Choso’s face and yet he didn’t know what he could have said to comfort him. Yuuji stared down at the ground, moving to bring his legs into his chest.
“Yeah,” he finally said, “Guess I really did make it,”
Yuuji’s gaze slid to the ocean again. It looked so calm now. So serene as it did when it had tempted Yuuji out into it. Now it felt more like some monster just waiting for him to go back out and he felt a fear in him that was new and familiar at once. A beautiful smile that hid violence beneath it with such gentle words, four arms that would swallow him up as surely as the ocean would with promises of so much more.
Yuuji closed his eyes, sucking in a breath and tried to push those thoughts away.
“No one else has come out of the water,” Choso said quietly as he idly snapped twigs in his hands to toss into the fire, “I’ve been keeping watch ever since I woke up. Just broken pieces and a few crates have washed up,”
“Maybe they washed up further down the beach?”
Choso gave a small shrug, “Maybe. Maybe they did,” his voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, “I want to hope more of the crew will appear,”
Neither of them spoke for a long time as there was little to say at all. Both their minds were tossed about in the storm of last night still, even as they sat staring off to the sea and picked with fingers at the cooked fish to ease their snarling stomachs. There was a strange hope that if they simply kept their vigil, that someone may emerged from the water. It was a childish sort of thing, but in those moments of trauma, such small hopes were enough to keep them from falling completely to their despair.
The day passed slowly as they sat, burning in the sun, but the only things living that emerged were the skittering crabs in the tide and what fish were tossed up, squirming desperately towards the water.
Just after noon, did the two survivors bother to rouse themselves and start to walk along the beach, looking for survivors and seeing what salvage could be of any use to them now.
Choso moved more slowly among the few crates that had come up, rolling them further up short and cracking them open to remove their goods. Those of value were set out along the sand to try and dry them out while Yuuji dug his hands into clumps of seaweed and broken wood, gathering up rope and sailcloth to dry and hasten a little further to look for any signs of human life.
His search only showed an empty horizon of beach and rock, crowded by vegetation and no signs of life. Not even a sign of a body that would at least be a quiet confirmation that a soul was truly lost. Yuuji began to trudge the way back, digging a stick of driftwood into piles of debris for anything that moved or some fish that could be a dinner for the two.
As he sunk the stick into one pile of broken wood and twisted rope smothered in the ever present groping seaweed, something caught his eyes. Yuuji paused, eyes widening before he quickly bent down to dig through the pile. His hands trembled as he pulled forth his satchel of personal belongings. The pack had survived the wreckage, if waterlogged.
Not that there was much inside, just the old prayer beads he had kept through all these years which he reverently took out to let his fingers trail over the worn surfaces before slipping them over his head, and the old sad tiger plush that had survived another tragedy. He could have laughed how the little trinket had somehow managed to follow him from the death of his own grandfather, through a fire, and across the world now, steadfast in the little duty his grandfather had hoarsely told him it could perform.
“It was made with love, Yuuji, and that is a powerful thing, a powerful curse,” the old man had whispered as he lay dying, “When something loves you as much as this toy will, you’ll never be apart, and always be guarded,”
Yuuji had nodded at those words, too young to understand what was going on. All he could do was sit there, arms wrapped about the little toy, eyes wide and with no idea his grandfather, his protector, lay dying. The little toy had been the only the possession he had when he was taken to the monks by the village elder and they had let him keep. Maybe Master Baso had sensed something about it and had let the plush stay in Yuuji’s keeping.
Or maybe he felt bad for the smiling, bright-eyed, happy child that had been naive to the fact his grandfather had died. It made Yuuji want to laugh at one point in his life he had been so blissfully happy in the face of tragedy. That a death swept passed him and he could still see the world in vibrant colors and move pass the grief. He hugged the worn toy to his chest as if that would give him strength again to be just that unwise to the world’s grim stories.
Yuuji stared out at the docile sea, now a barely moving swath of blue broken up by the playful break of white from small cresting waves. It reflected a blue sky above, a sun that was merciful upon him and Choso, as it brought a more gentle heat to warm them and begin to dry them out. It was so strange that something so pleasant could be swept into such hideous rage.
Yuuji closed his eyes, swallowing down the mucus in his throat that had started to build from the amount of salt still crusting his mouth, lips, and body. There was no point in sitting here on this beach. His soul, or perhaps deep inside him, that little boy that had never left him, simply whispered that it was time to move on. Even as a child he had realized he couldn’t stay with his grandfather, that something had happened, so when the elder had taken his hand, he had went.
No one was going to take his hand now though. There was no force, no gods or Buddha or person left that was going to just come along to pull him forward this time. Yuuji glanced to Choso who stood like a statue, eyes fixed on the sea, frowning with arms crossed. His new found brother would stay on that seashore forever in a vigil for his brothers. Choso would not leave on his own as he hadn’t found the means to let go. They might as well stay on that shore, eating fish, growing grey with the tragedy until the sea finally claimed both of them in a surging wave. Yuuji closed his eyes, taking a slow deep breath before he rose to his feet, exhaling as he did and slinging his water logged pack over his shoulder and walked over to where Choso stood.
“I can perform a ritual for the crew, for those that are dead,” Yuuji said quietly, “To put their souls at ease and guide them back to shore so they may find peace in the next life, or perhaps find peace in nirvana,”
Choso finally moved, looking at Yuuji, the grief so raw on his face, “...do you know the rites?”
“I was a monk in training at one time,” Yuuji said quietly as he moved to gather some rocks and flotsam, “I can at least honor my teachers by showing everything they passed to me before their own death had stayed with me. That I don’t forget anyone and I do what I can to give them a peaceful passing,”
He began to build the little shrine carefully, just at the edge of the shore almong the foliage that crept onto the dunes so it may afford some defense from the weather. Choso watched him for a time before he came, hands trembling to help him build it. They worked silently, creating a little shrine, no higher than the knee. A crude thing, but recognizable as some sort of structure that would last a good few seasons to carry out its task. With a knife, Choso scratched out the name of his brothers and the other crew members onto the rocks while Yuuji went to the fire to gather a little bit of the flame in a clam shell to bring over to the shrine.
He placed the large shell, flickering with fire on the lip of the shrine before he took his prayer beads in hand and bowed his head in reverence.
The words came easily to him. He could hear it chanted it a hundred times on familiar lips. The voices of his teachers. In Sukuna’s voice. The voices of villagers. The voices of dead men from whatever low cycle they had fallen into. He spoke quietly, but firmly, making clear his wish that those who had perish find their way hear to this beacon and from there, find their peace. He prayed as he always did, feeling the comfort in being able to do this final service to those he had known so briefly and lost so suddenly.
He finished the rite, eyes opening and became more aware of the world. He could hear the soft sobs from Choso as he cried again for his loss, a hand over his face. Yuuji let him have his grief. He felt the familiar numbness that came over him in the face of death as he had seen it far too many times in a hundred different ways now.
He felt numb and within him a voice continued its soft whisper.
It was time to move on.
The guilt and grief from having survived the storm, the pain and suffering he had held from Sukuna, the uncertainty of his life, the feeling that somehow he had caused this calamity, all those feelings remained. They would always remain, tucked close to his heart where he could feel it with every breath, but something was growing around it again, slowly easing pain.
It was time to move on because there was nothing left to do but to move on.
Yuuji rose to his feet, the action causing Choso to look at him, face still stained with tears. Yuuji offered a soft smile to the grief-stricken man, tired but warm, before offering his hand to Choso,“You ready?”
“ready?” Choso asked quietly.
“We should probably find the nearest city, get our bearings, figure out where we go next,”
Choso stared at him before he gave a faint, tired smile of his own as he took Yuuji’s hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, “A little brother tugging his big brother alone,” he murmured, “Are you that anxious to grow beyond me?”
“It is the duty of a little brother to surpass an older brother,” Yuuji quoted, remembering fondly that had been one of Master Baso’s favorite sayings, “But when that time comes, you will be nothing but proud and know that your duty is done,”
Those words seemed to relax Choso and he nodded, although his gaze grew firm, “Whatever path we go , even if you walk past me, I’m with you Yuuji. I have lost much but I will not lose you,”
Yuuji smiled, “I don’t plan on dying just yet, not for a while. I would like to see old age, actually,” He looked out to the sea again, “My teachers were all old men and had seen plenty of things. I think I want to still see things before the strength I have leaves me,”
Choso followed his gaze out to sea before he frowned, looking down at the cargo they had managed to dredge up, “We can dry out what goods we can and make for the nearest town. In the night, I saw lights to the north of us and by the position of the stars, it may be Quanzhou,”
“Quanzhou,” Yuuji let the unfamiliar words waffle about in his mouth, saying each syllable carefully, “Not Japan then?”
“China,” Choso said with a small smile, “I can speak the language well enough, so keep close. We are lucky that Quanzhou is more welcoming to foreigners so we should see little hostility,”
“Is it a rich city?”
“Very wealthy and you will see plenty of strange things from around the world,” Choso said as he moved back down to the beach with purpose now. Yuuji followed, glad to have something to focus on to help them get away from this beach of death and find a way to move on.
It did not take long to dry out what they could. The bright sun and fire helped them and with a wash of fresh water, many of the items they found could be restored to their former glory. They packed everything into crudely made sacks from sail cloth and tied them about themselves so both of them looked like a pair of laboring beasts. They checked their clothes, their crudely fashioned sandals, and Yuuji slipped on a shoddily made hat over his head before they began to walk, first along the shore, keeping the ocean to their right before they headed inland on the well-trodden fishermen paths, finding a small village.
They did not linger there as the Chinese villagers regarded them with suspicion and frowns. Choso only paused long enough to exchange a few words with a scowling farmer who pointed them to the road out of their village and to the main road that wound north. It was at the end of that road that the city they sought sat nestled against the shore. Quanzhou. Yuuji rolled the name of the city in his name. He didn’t know what it meant or what it would be like. It was a place as unknown to him as the language that had named the city at all. To Yuuji, the name of the city might as well been named hope for all the promise it had of helping him to find his way again.
Yuuji and Choso did not speak much during the journey to Quanzho. Here and there, there were snippets of conversation that lapsed into silence more often than not. Yet it was still a gentle and companionable silence in their own way. There was something nostalgic about walking and having someone to talk to. It reminded Yuuji of him and Sukuna when they had first set out from the monastery after its destruction, when there was only them in the world, and only enough conversation there to keep them going. Now it felt much the same way. He and Choso talked as much as they needed to be reminded someone was there and there was a goal in mind.
Someone was there and they weren’t as alone as it seemed and still alive to push forward and do something more than just wallow in regret.
It took them a solid five days to come in sight of the city of Quanzhou as they were turned around a few times along the twisting roads of the Tang Dynasty builders. As he finally got his first real look at the city, Yuuji’s eyes widened as he took in how the place sprawled out before them, lit up and lavish, like a gem nestled against the hills and against the sea, so much grander than cities he had seen growing up, but also, a much more ancient city, filled with its own history and sullen sorrow.
Even if it looked so great from a distance, once they passed those gates into it, Yuuji was reminded of the streets he grew up on. It was the same heavy feeling, if not more so, and he could sense the curses that picked their way around in the dreary alleyways. The poor and rich went about their lives in the same fashion as the cities of Yuuji’s past. The merchants sold their wares and the laborers toiled to get everything in order and to where it needed to be. The city still moved to a mercantile rhythm that all souls were chained to in order to eat and have a roof over their head.
It was a foreign city and different in many ways, but the familiarity had Yuuji feeling a bit more at ease as he kept close to Choso’s side as they headed deeper into the city and more towards the docks. Choso at least seemed to know where he was going, his eyes fixed ahead as if he had a place in mind to stop. Yuuji followed beside him, feeling his stomach rumble of the aroma of food washed over him and reminded him that the two of them had barely ate anything but dried fish and a little bit of millet for five days straight.
Eventually they found themselves before a compound which seemed to double both as a trade area and a lively tavern. Such a lavish place though brought apprehension to Yuuji and he found a frown settling on his lips as he eyed the nobles who shambled in and out on the backs of servants. Choso had stepped ahead to speak to the greeter at the door, the two seeming to know each other as they spoke in quick Chinese with a friendly ring to it, or so Yuuji hoped. The Chinese language always sounded so to the point and quick, almost angry at times, like everyone was in a rush to get every word out as quickly as possible. The characters, at least, were far more familiar to Yuuji and he could parse the name of the place as being called “House of Fortunous Cat” or something to that regard. Yuuji let his eyes trail over the written words all alround the entrance and on the papers posted here and there before he lost interest, and unable to follow the conversation Choso was having, let his gaze move over to the trade bazaar across from the tavern.
The place was crowded, especially among the market square area. From what Yuuji could gather, the owner of the inn here hosted his own bazaar of trade items and hired out proxies to sell it for him and taking a cut of the profit. At least something to that extent. He found himself less interested in the economics and politics of the whole affair, and more in watching the people come and go and the loud yelling of the merchants. The faces were so different and there seemed to be people from all sorts of lives and places in the world. There were men with dark faces and mysterious wisdom in their eyes wrapped up in cloth to show little save their bearded faces. There was a man with a pale complexion and wide-set face with a gruff mannerism and tall posture that pushed through the crowd like he was born of a race of conquerors. Tanned faces of farmers swam in and out of the crowd, muttering to themselves and here and there, the pale face of a woman, hidden behind a fan could be glimpsed, tending to the heels of a noble husband.
From the crowd though, a man suddenly emerged, tall and gangly with a permanent scowl creasing his still young face. The black haired man nudged out his elbows like weapons to part the crowd as he moved forward with a reluctant purpose. Among all the foreign faces, this man’s face was of a more familiar cut. It was clear he was from Japan himself, although the paleness of his skin denoted someone who had spent a great deal of his life indoors and bending back in a field. He had a sullen face beneath a mess of black hair, a thin frown that must be ever present for it was already setting deep lines at the corner of his lips. Still, he held youth in his sharp eyes and a simmer discontent that reminded Yuuji of Sukuna, although this young man’s expression was more tired, as if given into whatever affairs had brought him here.
No one seemed to take notice of his passing safe a look shot his way but it seemed the black haired man was acustomed to people ignoring him as he broke free of the crowd to come towards the door of the tavern, a tray of empty dishes in hand that denoted he was a servant of some sort. Yuuji tilted his head, curiously regarding this pensive man and the black-haired one must have felt Yuuji’s eyes as he paused, glancing over. Their eyes met and Yuuji offered him a smile and a dip of his head, greeting him silently to which the man only stared back with a slight curious cock of an eyebrow.
The moment was lost as the greet at the door gave a hard smack to the back of the man’s head and gave him a shove forward, with rushed angry words, although in all of it, Yuuji did catch a name.
“Megumi!”
The young man snapped his gaze forward again at the yell of what must have been his name and hurried inside with the deep scowl returning once more. Yuuji blinked. Megumi was not a Chinese name for sure, but it was also not a name he had seen on a boy before. The only two people with that name he had known was an elderly nun at the sister monastery they had visited once who had called Sukuna a sullen little taro, and a dirty young girl who had been a street urchin he once got in a fight with over some tossed aside scraps.
Yuuji jumped as Choso settled a hand on his shoulder, “Come on. I’ve cut the deal for some coin. We just have to drop the goods off for a final appraisal,” he said softly.
“Right,”
Yuuji gave a glance back, looking out for the one named Megumi a moment before he let himself be pulled away to the bazaar by his brother’s guiding hand.
The two of them made their way over behind the line of stalls and from there, Choso did the haggling in his stern, unyielding way while Yuuji was just glad to get the pack off his back. They managed to get enough coin to be livable a few days, at least enough time to find either work to sustain themselves or passage on a ship back home. For now, they had no real plan save a warm bed, a bath, and a hot meal.
The inn had rooms to spare and it seemed were more than cordial to give Choso and him a little room tucked underneath a stairwell that was probably quarters meant for a servant and not guests. They were given enough water to finally wash salt and brine from them in a bucket and put on clothes not crusty with the ocean’s remnants.
For a meal though, Yuuji stiffly excused himself from the noisy main room, taking his fares out and around to the servant’s entrance to the inn in the side alleyway, not keen on being among drunk nobles. There were too many bad memories there he didn’t want to think about that night and the quiet of the alleyway was a welcomed contrast. Yuuji sat back against the wall on the small porch that jutted out the side from the servant’s entrance, one foot on the stairs, the other dangle off the side of the small porch and he let his eyes close as he sipped lightly at the tea he held in hand.
He let his mind wander, perhaps meditating a bit as he had been taught, just listening to the soft murmurs of the crowd in the main courtyard and the noisy clatter of the kitchen within.
“Not usual for guests to sit out here,”
Yuuji blinked his eyes open and turned his head as he saw the man from before, Megumi, come up the alleyway with a box balanced on one shoulder and a frown on his lips.
“I don’t have good memories of crowded inns,” Yuuji said with a shrug, “I like a little quiet and I grew up on the streets, so maybe I just feel more comfortable sitting here of all places,”
The frown lessened some on Megumi’s face as he moved up the stairs, easing the box on his shoulder down to rest before he sat down beside it, “Did you grow up in this city?”
“No, in Japan, the capital city for most of the time. A few others here and there going forward,” Yuuji said with a small shrug, pausing before tilting his head, “Are you from Japan too?”
Megumi nodded, frowning just a touch, “I was,” he said with a shrug, “Was part of a powerful family even, or at least, by blood and name,”
The frown returned and there was a look of disdain on Megumi’s face as he leaned back, casting a look about the place, “Until my damned father owed some merchant a debt and he sold me off to him and then he in turn sold me off to this place where I work now as a slave,”
Yuuji winced a touch. The act of selling people to pay of debts was not unheard of, although not entirely approved. Slaves and servants were still highly regarded among the merchants who always looked to have as cheap of labor as possible.
“Does this place at least treat you sort of well?” Yuuji asked.
Megumi gave a thin, humorless smile in return, “Not at all. They work me hard and then of late the owner keeps musing on if I would be better as some plaything for patrons than a working boy,” his eyes narrowed a touch, “I’ve hopefully done enough with breaking a few fingers to make him reconsider,”
“They don’t reconsider in that,” Yuuji said quietly, remembering all to well the people who had fought against their new captivity in the inn they lived above, “They just find someone who loves to break people,”
They both sat their in silence and Megumi’s shoulders fell a little. Neither said anything, sitting in the silence. Yuuji regarded Megumi more closely, noting how tired he looked and how it seemed there wasn’t a spark of anything left.
“You...ever thought about leaving?” Yuuji asked quietly, “Just running away?”
“And go where?” Megumi asked with a hollow laugh, “Starve in the streets or in the countryside? It wasn’t like my family trained me for much that could be practical a skill for survival,”
Yuuji gave a shrug, “Anything helps. Like I’m trained to fight curses, which is enough for people to throw a few scraps or coin your way. I’m sure you have a skill that could help you get by,”
At the mention of curses, Megumi perked up a bit, his eyes wide, “You can see curses too?”
“Yeah!” Yuuji said with a smile, “See and fight them. I was training to become a warrior monk, a jujutsu sorcerer, before well, life went a different path,”
Megumi gave a small nod, a sigh on his lips, “I always admired sorcerers. My own family had more than a few and in the court of the emperor, they were all well respected. I often thought since I could see them, maybe I would have talent for it t,”
A frown touched Megumi’s lips as he looked out into the alleyway, “but I haven’t been able to do much and they never bothered with training me even though I know I could be powerful. I feel like there is something in me that is calling, but I just don’t know how to reach it,”
Yuuji put aside his cup of tea, leaning towards Megumi with an eager gleam in his eyes, “You might have a curse technique and don’t know it! My old masters used to describe finding your technique like a calling. Sukuna said he felt drawn to his own and the gestures were formed of his mind and soul finally seemingly to come together,”
“Sukuna? Was that the name of your teacher?”
The excitement in Yuuji dimmed and his smile lessened as he glanced away, “He was a teacher, in a lot of things. But he wasn’t… he was something else important to me. Someone I had to leave behind,”
“You speak of him as if he is dead,”
That gave Yuuji paused and he closed his eyes, feeling once more the memory of Sukuna starting to run fingers up his spine and whisper softly against his ear once more. There was so much that Sukuna had been. A friend. A lover. An abuser. That last one was something Yuuji had slowly begun to admit, even if it was never an intentional abuse. Yuuji was sure Sukuna never meant any harm to him.
He didn’t want to think about what it could mean if it had been intentional actions.
“He isn’t. Just… someone,” Yuuji glanced aside, “Someone I still care deeply for even if I shouldn’t”
A soft sigh fell from Yuuji’s lips before he shook his head, putting on a smile and looking back to Megumi, “So what sort of gestures seem to call out to you? With how serious you look, I’m sure it is something cool!”
Megumi regarded him silently before he sighed, looking away, “Actually, the first gesture that comes to mind is rather silly honestly,”
“Silly?”
“Shadow puppets,” Megumi said as he held up his hands, mimicking the look of a dog, “I felt something change when I saw some adults doing shadow puppets to entertain some younger children in the village. Seeing how the shadow danced and moved, something in it, just, I felt like I could control them somehow. Summoned them to me,”
He let his hands rise up, letting his hand signal of a dog dance over the light of an open window, making the shadow of his hands splay out across the ground. Yuuji watched the shadow, how it flickered and moved, as if it might just come to life, but as soon as it felt like something would form, Megumi dropped his hands, losing his nerve. A slight tinge of red rose to Megumi’s cheeks as he glanced away in frustration, “It is stupid,”
“I don’t think it is,” Yuuji said with a smile, “In fact, maybe I can help you unlock it? Well, I haven’t unlocked my own technique, but I can use cursed energy well enough and know the teachings passed on to me that could help,”
A faint, but honest smile touched Megumi’s lips then and a spark of some long dead fire came back into his haggard, tired eyes, “I would like that,”
“Great! Then we can-”
“You damn bitch!”
Both Megumi and Yuuji tensed at the sound of a ruckus out in the courtyard. The sound of broken dishes and something being overturned and crashing to the floor could be heard. The yelling increased, raised both in Chinese and Japanese before a woman burst into the alleyway and barely gave either of them a glance as she tore passed to dive behind some boxes and hunch down, doing her best to hide. The woman was scowling and looked like the very incarnation of a thunderstorm just ready to burst. Her brown eyes were hard and set, contrasted against the orange-brown of her hair that was messily pinned up in what seemed to be a more noble style despite how her skin bore the trademark of someone use to the country sun. Megumi and Yuuji both stared at her a moment before jumping again as a large, angry man came into the alleyway, his cheeks burning with the imprint of a hand against his ruddy cheeks. He yelled something at Megumi who just stared back at him blankly.
Yuuji just stared in confusion, shaking his head. This only seemed to make the man angrier and yelled to someone. The greet from the doorway entered into the alleyway then, sticking a finger at the two men on the porch, “You two! Did a woman run pass here?” he asked in broken Japanese.
“Not that I saw. Saw her run past that way,” Yuuji said without a glance to where the woman hid, glaring at the two of them in a scared sort of defiance.
“No one came this way but us,” Megumi agreed.
The man cursed as this information was relayed to him before he took off in the direction Yuuji had said. Yuuji sipped the last of his tea, watching him go, a smile on his lips and his whole body at ease. It was easy enough to lie to help someone out. Yuuji had done that a thousand times on the streets and probably would do it a thousand times again. Sukuna used to tease him that he could lie his way right into the imperial palace if he wanted.
Megumi waited a few moments to make sure the man was gone before glancing down at the woman, “You know, you should probably hide where no one could see you,” he drawled, “We could have easily turned you in as he was offering a reward,”
The woman flushed, scowling up at them, “Would you two idiots shut up?! My hiding place is fine if you two don’t speak up,” she hissed, ignoring Megumi’s comment.
Yuuji looked between her and the end of the alleyway, raising an eyebrow,“Who was that guy anyway?”
“No one to me! They expect me to be his concubine wife and I said fuck to to that! I’ve been trying to escape that stupid merchant since my parents handed me off to him,” the woman spat, crossing her arms, “I let him have it and ran off and I have no intentions of ending up in his bed, no matter how many times he tries to manhandle me!”
Yuuji gave a small nod, “I see, so, are you from a Chinese port or-”
“I was born in Japan, idiot,” she growled, “My family moved here for opportunities, but my stupid uncles keep bungling the business, so now I’m the one who has to pay for it by being forced to marry that leech,”
Megumi scowled, “I know that feeling, except it is my father and his crushing gambling habit,”
“You got a name?” Yuuji asked.
She eyed the two of them, but relaxed a touch as she leaned up out of her hiding spot and against the small porch the two sat on, “Nobara. Kugisaki Nobara. You?”
“Itadori Yuuji,”
Megumi frowned a touch before he sighed, glancing away, “Fushiguro Megumi,” he murmured, “But the family name is one of my choosing as I disowned being related to my original clan at this point,”
She gave a nod, pursing her lips, “So what brings you two out here?”
“Slave to the asshole that runs the place,” Megumi said with a scowl, “Nothing much else to say,”
“Shipwrecked with my brother and thinking about what do do next,” Yuuji said softly, “Been a bit of a shock and just trying to get our feet under us. Thinking about taking up some exorcist work to get extra coin in the meantime,”
“Exorcist huh? A sorcerer are you?” Nobara pressed.
“We both are,” Yuuji said with a nudge to Megumi who just flushed in response, “Although Megumi here is going to be my new apprentice,”
Nobara grinned at that, leaning in towards them, “Well, I know some sorcery myself! Just watch! It is something my grandmother showed me how to do before the stupid emperor decided women shouldn’t be sorcerers,”
Yuuji and Megumi watched as Nobara drew one of the pins from her hair and held it up. Her brown eyes narrowed ans she frowned, focusing on the pin before it lit up with a dull blue light. She grinned, looking at them, pleased before she threw it, letting the pin fly and slam into the wood of the warehouse across the way.
Megumi gave a small polite clap while Yuuji grinned, eyes alight at the little demonstration of power, “That was really cool! Have you figured out the technique attached to it,”
“Well, no,” Nobara admitted with a huff, “But I am going to figure it out because I don’t want to be a concubine for fat merchants or nobles or whatever the hell they are! I want to make my own life!”
“There she is!”
All three jumped as the greeter appeared, red in the face and sneering. He was shouting something now in Chinese and Megumi paled before he gripped at Yuuji’s arm, “Run,”
Yuuji didn’t need told twice. He couldn’t understand the language, but oh, did he know when someone was coming after you with murder in their eyes and a yearning to leave you battered and whipped in the streets. He took off, although not before grasping onto Megumi and Nobara so as not to lose them as they darted out of the alleyway and into the crowd.
Street smarts was something Yuuji had where their pursuers did not. Even if he didn’t know the city, years of running from guards and dodging all sorts of would be murderers in the street had honed Yuuji’s instincts as he ran, his eyes already picking up on every avenue of escape. He tugged Megumi and Nobara along, ducking through crowds and streets, criss-crossing their path a dozen times before the angry shouts faded and out of breath, the trio came to a slow halt outside the walls of a small temple crowded in between a few sloping homes. All three of them were panting and Nobara wheezed, moving over to slump against the wall and slide to the ground, taking a well deserved break.
“think we lost them,” Yuuji panted as he looked over his shoulder, “Should be good here for a bit,”
“Good, because they were about to beat us and have you thrown in prison,” Megumi wheezed, “And I don’t need anymore scars on my back,”
“Assholes, all of them,” Nobara snapped as she kicked off her shoes so she could rub at her sore feet, “You would think they would give up and just let me run away for how many times I sneak away!”
“Yeah, well, those assholes technically own me,” Megumi said with a grimmace, “I’m going to catch hell when I get back,”
Yuuji regarded the two a moment before he looked away, crossing his arms, “Maybe...maybe you two shouldn’t go back,”
The two glanced sharply towards Yuuji. Nobara frowned, eyes narrowed, “Just like that? Get up and leave?”
“Yeah. Just get up and leave,” Yuuji said, offering a smile as he turned back towards them, “Who is going to stop you from saying you had enough and just going?”
“Having food and a place to sleep for one thing. No money,” Nobara grumbled.
Megumi was silent, staring at the ground, tensed, but still listening as Yuuji stepped forward, extending a hand out to both of them, “Trust me, that eventually comes, in one way or another, but life isn’t going to change unless you make a step forward or just try,” Yuuji said softly, “You could come with me if you like, although I warn you, neither I nor Choso have a plan,”
Megumi glanced up, his expression wary, “They might hunt you down to retrieve me as I am their property,”
“Same goes for me,” Nobara murmured, “And not like I could really do much in terms of sorcery as women sorcerers are seen as a bad omen. I might curse the lot of you!”
Yuuji huffed at that, “Then we just go far enough they don’t want to waste time getting either of you back and I help you both learn to be sorcerers. That is all there is to it!”
“Just leave? Like that?” Nobara frowned a touch, “You make it sound easy,”
“It is. I left a lot of places,” Yuuji gave a faint smile, “It can feel really hard at first, there is going to be pain that lingers for a long time, but...but you’ll find something better,”
He had left Sukuna, torn himself out of the embrace of the only person he knew and ran out to sea and within that storm, had lost so much, but had gained a brother in Choso, and now, some part of him felt like he could gain friends in Megumi and Nobara by helping them get away from this. It felt almost like the lessons he had learned were something he could give to them.
That he could save them, just as he had done for himself.
And maybe with their companionship and that of Choso, he could finally start to heal the Sukuna sized hole in his heart that still lay bleeding and open.
Nobara and Megumi hesitated, both silent and staring at Yuuji but it was Megumi who was the first to sigh, a small smile on his lips as he reached forward to take Yuuji’s hand, “What do I have to lose at this point? Either be beaten to death in the streets here or risk some unknown death out there. At least I’ll die with company,”
Nobara blinked before she grinned, taking Yuuji’s other hand, “Heh, well if you want to be stuck with me, I suppose I can stick near and annoy you for a while more!”
“Then looks like we are a trio set out on some path or another, some big journey to come,” Yuuji said with a laugh, although he paused and gave a sheepish duck of his head, “But uh, should probably go back sort of so I can get my brother and well, I have no idea where we are actually,”
There was a long moment of silence as the three stared at each other before Megumi glanced away, “I also don’t know where we are,” he admitted, “I never went any further than a few blocks from the tavern,”
“You two idiots took off running and moving like you knew the place! How could you get lost!?” Nobara protested with a huff.
Yuuji winced, “I was just running on instinct to get away!”
“Idiot! And you want to be the leader? Stupid!”
“Yeah!? So do you know where we are?”
Nobara huffed, “Maybe! A little! Uh...the northern ward of the city?”
Megumi sighed as he watched Yuuji yelped as Nobara started to smack the back of his head with only a touch of fury and glanced about, “Maybe we just ask someone for directions,” he suggested.
Yuuji winced, rubbing the back of his head as he skittered away from Nobara, “Yeah, we’ll just ask, uh, somewhere. Maybe just this temple right? Monks usually know things or some pilgrim inside,”
“Maybe,” Nobara grumbled, “Worth a shot if they don’t just yell at us to piss off,”
Yuuji moved down along the wall of the squat temple to the gate with Megumi and Nobara following him, letting him take the lead. He paused a moment to try and squint at the faded characters over the gate but was unable to make it out. He let out a sigh and gave a quick prayer to Buddha before he raised a hand and gave a loud knock to the gate door. The air remained silent and Yuuji raised his hand to bang on it again, this time raising his voice, “Brothers? We have travelers here seeking direction if you could be gracious!”
He banged on the door a few more times until he heard footsteps draw closer and someone already starting to curse out in Chinese on the other side. Yuuji frowned, finding the voice familiar, even if the language wasn’t.
As if he had heard those angry rambles before, although in Japanese.
The gate door was suddenly flung aside and an old, but rather angry looking monk, all blustering and hisses beneath his thick beard stepped forward, yelling out in Chinese at him. Yet Yuuji didn’t run off or dip his head. He only stared, eyes widening as beneath the age of the man, he recognized who it was that stood before him and wondered for a moment if a ghost stood before him.
“Master Dayu?!”
The monk paused in mid rant. He stared at Yuuji, squinting before his eyes widened and now his own expression mirrored Yuuji’s own, as if he too had stumbled upon a long thought dead ghost of the past, “Yuuji? Yuuji is that really you?”
“Master Dayu!”
He couldn’t stop himself from flinging himself forward to wrap the old monk in a hug, a laugh, bordering on a sob punching out of his lungs, ‘You’re alive!”
“I should be saying that of you, you brat!” Master Dayu returned with a choked laugh, his arms still strong as they wrapped about Yuuji, “I thought you had perished in the attack those many years ago!”
“I thought the same,” Yuuji managed out, “All these years, I thought everyone but Sukuna and I died,”
Dayu shook his head, “No. Some of us survived Yuuji, some of us survived,”
Yuuji could only nod, unable to hold back his tears and feeling like all strength was leaving him as he sunk against the old monk. It was like a balm on his soul, a long forgotten pain dragged forward and finally soothed. Dayu rubbed his back before stepping to the side, “Come inside. We can talk better there,”
“They are coming too, “Yuuji managed out, glancing to Nobara and Megumi, “And my brother but I..I have to send for him,”
“I’ll have one of my young wards run to fetch him for you,” Dayu assured, “Come inside,”
Yuuji did not put up a fight as master Dayu led him into the small shrine, although pass the walls, it was clear it had not been a shrine in a long while, but converted into an orphanage. A few children lingered in the doorways with old nuns, watching curiously as the three guests were lead in. As always, Dayu was yelling and waving them off, making a pang of nostalgia sweep through Yuuji that brought a faint smile to his lips.
It was like coming home in a way, or taking so many steps back into the past to where home was suppose to still be, but he knew it wasn’t the same. There were still faces missing and Master Dayu’s face had grown weathered and weary with the last decade and couple seasons that had passed and despite still having the same loud boisterous voice, the once energetic monk’s steps had slowed. He led the three of them to the main building of the temple before he turned to Yuuji, giving a dip of his head.
“Your friends can go to the kitchens just there to seek a good meal and shelter, but I would like to speak to you in private,” he said.
Yuuji gave a nod, looking to Megumi and Nobara, “I won’t be long just-”
“we get it Yuuji,” Nobara gave a snort and a soft smile, “You just ran into someone and need to catch up,”
“We’ll wait here for you and if they are offering food, I will be most distracted by that,” Megumi added with a smile.
He watched the two go before he turned to follow Master Dayu into the temple area. The old monk had moved ahead to knee down slowly before the idol, taking his time as if his old bones were starting to feel their age at last. Yuuji silently moved to knee beside him in front of the altar as he had often done as a child, although there was a distinct lack of smacks to the back of the head for him not sitting correctly.
“You finally learned to kneel properly have you?”
“I was trained by the best monk I know to do it well or suffer the consequences,” Yuuji said with a smile as he looked up at the statue that sat upon the altar. The statue was not as fine as the one they had at the monastery so many years before. It was more worn but just as well cared for. Master Dayu lit the little bowl of oil before the shrine and bent his head with a small sigh.
“I trained you in a lot and I would have trained you in more if I had known you lived, Yuuji. You and Sukuna,” He said softly, “Those in my charge carried holy artifacts, but I had them abandoned to have those bandits gnaw on those prizes to save the lives of my charges. Lives are always more important than some silly objects,”
Yuuji smiled quietly at that, closing his eyes as he settled his hands in his lap, “I don’t blame you. You di what you could and it wasn’t like we would have met. Sukuna and I escaped in the opposite direction and returned to the place a few days later and buried the dead,” he said quietly, “We didn’t know where to go and headed to the capitol to seek refuge, but the monastery there refused us,”
Master Dayu sighed softly, “It was like that in a lot of places Yuuji. The world had become rather cold with the troubles of the world,” he said quietly, “The younger souls with me went off to other trades to fill their stomachs and those older monks with me decided we should leave to head on a pilgrimage, thus we came here. Well, they came here, I stayed in this city while they meandered on to the source of our order for guidance,”
Yuuji gave a small nod as he was aware of that practice. Some of the old monks often would get up to leave and go on pilgrimages, putting their old bodies through one last journey as if they were fearful of death catching up before they had finished what duty they felt they needed to accomplish. It seemed such a strange thing to do for Yuuji, but now, he could perhaps understand that want to try and find purpose when the path ahead was lost completely.
“I settled myself here in this orphanage. I was always one who wanted to make sure the next generation had a chance,” Master Dayu said softly, “And to try and atone for how many young ones we lost in that horrid tragedy,”
“I am just glad others survived, “Yuuji said quietly, “And if it is any comfort, those bandits are now dead and gone,”
Master Dayu looked at the idol, his expression passive, “It brings neither comfort or distress. What they did was years ago and the trauma remains, but revenge is never a path that leads to anything good,” he glanced to Yuuji, “Did their deaths bring you comfort?”
Yuuji closed his eyes, remembering the village, the massacre of everyone without mercy, and of how gleeful Sukuna looked in that moment, more akin to the curses they hunted than the man he loved. He shook his head, “I didn’t care to ever see them again and wanted just a peaceful life,” he finally said, “Sukuna though...” Yuuji’s voice trailed off, tinged with pain, “He had other ideas,”
“Where is Sukuna now?”
“I don’t know,” Yuuji tensed just a touch, “We parted ways. He was… he is not the boy you would have known. I don’t think you would recognize him. He’s gotten very cold,”
Master Dayu let out a soft sigh, “He’s always been very cold Yuuji, you just were one of the few people who could bring out the best in him. We all knew he was a troubled child but we all did our best to try and understand him,”
Yuuji gave a nod and they fell into silence. Hundreds of questions circled about his mind now, so many things to ask and talk about, and it seemed he couldn’t find the right words. At last, he settled on a question that had been burning in for so long, something that felt like it was so important to have known, “Where did Sukuna come from? I always wanted to ask, but Sukuna never spoke of it and the monks kept their silence,”
Master Dayu was quiet for a long time, closing his eyes before he let out a soft side, “I do not know the whole story. Even the monastery elders were not privy to the details. What I know is, by birth and blood, he is the true heir of the emperor as he was born of the empress’s barren womb,”
Yuuji tensed, “So the stories of the demon child-”
“Embellished, but even stories have a kernel of truth to them, Yuuji,” Master Dayu said quietly, “The tragedy of it was the empress could not get pregnant nor have a child, and yet by a miracle she conceived. To the emperor though, who favored the children of his concubines and had his heir already planned out, it was an inconvenience. He disowned her, claimed the child some demon,”
That had Yuuji wincing, “Were they wrong?”
“A child is never a demon for being born, no matter what they look like,” Master Dayu said quietly, “But there was a curse put upon the emperor. A powerful one. For nothing is more cursed than scorned, desperate love, Yuuji. In her dying breath, in the middle of her labor, the empress cursed him that her child would be the calamity that would bring suffering to the whole nation and would bring this era to an end and lay his family broken at his feet,”
A shiver ran up Yuuji’s spine at that, “Did Sukuna know all this?”
“He’s always known that Yuuji. He grew up two years locked away as a shameful child in his father’s home. The emperor wanted him killed but was persuaded that it may only make the curse more potent on his house. Master Kotarou offered to take Sukuna under his teachings as he felt no child was a victim of their fate at birth. A wise and learned man as he was, he wasn’t beholden to superstitions and saw merely a child that needed to be loved and cared for like any other,”
Yuuji looked up at the statue before him and the gentle smiling goddess. He turned those words over in his head and felt his heart clench as he remembered Sukuna when he first arrived, how afraid he was and shy save for how he clung to Master Kotarou. He wondered if Sukuna remembered the time in the emperor’s home or it happened when he was to young to grasp it.
“He was thriving in the monastery,” Yuuji said softly, “He would have been fine if he stayed,”
“Anyone thrives in a place where they are made to belong Yuuji, and we did, even knowing everything. He was our brother, our companion, and just as human as the rest of us,” Master Dayu said softly.
Yuuji nodded, feeling his old sorrow grow up in him that picture of him and Sukuna, both young and happy faded into something darker. To the murders and destruction Sukuna would leave in his path as he seemed to slowly become the calamity his mother’s vicious words said he would be. It had Yuuji swallowing hard, his gaze dropping to the flickering flame on the altar, “But maybe, despite that, we are chained by fate more than we want to admit,”
The two sat in silence for a long time before Master Dayu raised a hand to clasp Yuuji’s shoulder, “Now a question for you, Yuuji. What strange fate brings you all the way across the sea like this?”
“I really don’t know,” Yuuji admitted softly, “I have not had a clear picture in life for a long time. Just been wandering, living on the streets, farming, killing curses, just anything to get by,”
A rueful, humorless smile touched Yuuji’s lips as he kept his gaze on the flickering flame of the oil light lit at the base of the shrine, “I don’t even think I’ve really felt like I’ve been living much of a life beyond survival for a long time. The last time I had a goal was my childish desires to become a sorcerer monk and help people by fighting the most powerful of curses. I held onto that one for so long,”
“It was no childish dream, Yuuji. You always had the potential for that,” Master Dayu paused, looking to him then, “Why did you not continue to pursue it?”
“How? I’m no monk now. I’ve not lived a life of duty and virtue all these years between stealing and letting so much tragedy affect others,” Yuuji said softly, looking at his hands, at the blood only he could see that was on them, “What order would want someone broken like me?”
Master Dayu let out a soft snort, “Ah, once a child always a child I see,” he grumbled, his old gruffness returning as he looked up at the idol, “Virtue and duty are things you can always gain, you dolt. Nobody in this world breaks. They lose parts of themselves, small pieces fall off, but they grow stronger. We are all born a block of jade, Yuuji, and with each tragedy, each difficulty we meet, that block is broken off to start carving out who we will be in the end. What breaks off reveals something more beautiful inside,”
Yuuji blinked at those words, swallowing hard, “So you think...you think I should...follow that dream? Even now?”
“You want to help people Yuuji. You are still young, head-strong, and you survived this far,” Master Dayu put a hand on his shoulder, “I think you could survive the worse training they put upon you. If you wish to keep to the path of a monk, then go west, to the heart of our order. To the origin of all the teachings of sorcery. You must make your own path Yuuji and not feel you are chained. A cycle is only broken when you rise above it,”
Those words rang in Yuuji’s ears and he looked up at the statue before him and how it smiled down. How many times had he prayed in his life for some guidance or for some way forward? How many times had he asked for a sign? He had been met with tragedy after tragedy, and yet he still drew breath, he still could find kindness and others in this world.
There were no signs, only the opportunities people gave him to make of life what he will.
Yuuji swallowed before taking in a deep breath, a smile touching his lips, “Do you have more directions than just to head west? Might make it easier to get supplies for it,”
Master Dayu smiled, giving a dip of his head as he rose to his feet, “I’ll give you all I can, Yuuji, if this is the path you wish to take,”
Yuuji looked up at the smiling idol and was reminded how often he was told his dream was foolish, dead and gone. There was no point in pursing it. He wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t smart enough. Never was anything enough for his dream.
His fists curled against his knees before he rose to his feet, his expression set in a look of concentration, a fire flickering to life in his eyes, “It is. Just tell me the way,”
Hours passed in Master Dayu’s company as the old monk explained the route of the pilgrimage and wrote down as many of the instructions as he knew. Yuuji grasped the carefully written directions curled up in a scroll in his hands and a new purpose burning in his heart. It would be a hard journey, across strange lands, deserts, and frozen mountains that gouged the roof of the world. There would be few places along the route to seek rest and would rely on his will to make the journey and finally complete his training. He had lingered in Sukuna’s shadow, reliant on his strength and always doubting his own.
This time there would be no room for doubt.
As he stepped out of the shrine into the morning light, Megumi and Nobara roused themselves from where they had laid out their mats to sleep in the relative cool of the night air. They both looked up at him, rubbing sleep from their faces, but it was Nobara who caught on to the new fire that was burning in Yuuji as he hopped the last few steps down to the courtyard with more energy than before.
“You look like you know where you are going,” Nobara drawled.
“Heading west,” Yuuji said with a smile to the two, “Going to make a long journey to finish my training and finally pursue my own dream,”
“Heading west,” Megumi murmured, “How far west?”
“Until I see the mountains that rise so high, they turn into stairwells to Heaven itself,” Yuuji said before pausing a moment, looking over to the two, “It is going to be a hard journey though-”
“Oh shut up,” Nobara said with a huff, “We are going with you, one way or another. You yourself said we should leave this place with you, so where you go, we are going,”
“And you complete your training and the two of us will complete our own as your apprentices,” Megumi said, crossing his arms, “Wasn’t that always the plan?”
Yuuji couldn’t help a small laugh that came out of him and he moved to put an arm around both of them, “We just met and already we are swearing oaths to die on what could be a fool’s journey,”
“I have been rotting away in this place and no one has ever even looked at me,” Megumi’s voice was soft, his hands curled tight, “I was just a thing, a cog, but you, when you looked at me, I felt like a person for the first time in so long. You made me want to live my life again,”
“My family keeps wanting me to be everything I’m not and trapping me in roles and keeping me contained. It felt no matter how much I fought, I was getting nowhere,” Nobara murmured, “But you lied to keep me safe and then never let go of me when we ran. You got me this far, I’ll follow you even further if it means my freedom at last,”
The smile on Yuuji’s face grew even more before he yelped as a pair of heavy hands fell on his shoulders, “And I hope you haven’t forgotten, my troublesome little brother, that I’ve already vowed to go where you go. So if our path is west, then I will also go west,”
“Choso! You got my message!”
“Your message just after the innkeeper turned me out for you apparently stealing concubines,” Choso said with a chuckle, “You do find yourself in trouble, don’t you?”
“I feel trouble finds me and I just embrace it as it comes,”
Yuuji looked over Nobara and Megumi, then to Choso, standing tall beside him. He wasn’t alone, not as alone in this world as Sukuna had always said he would be if he left. He had found friends. He had found a path forward.
The path went west, promising hardship and struggle, but that was nothing new to Yuuji. It was nothing new to his companions. They would take that path and seize their own destiny.
Yuuji turned then, the rising sun at his back as he looked to the darkness of the west, clutching the scroll in his hand tighter.
They would head west and perhaps in time, find their purpose and path in life.
-------------------------------------------
The fear in the city was as constant as a heartbeat now. Beneath the usual slow pace of living and the common exchanges in the market, to the woman going about their laundry and the children playing in the street, that fear lingered. Shoulders remained tensed, eyes kept to their work, and every breath was held when Sukuna walked the streets, head held hide as if he were the emperor himself.
It is enough to bring a smirk to Sukuna’s face as he walked along, arms tucked into the wide sleeves of his white kimono. There was a sick sense of pleasure that came with having people avert their eyes from him as if he was some sort of king, some sort of god that walked without mercy among them. All it had taken were a few examples made of those that dare to spit venomous words his way or lifted their heads too high for his liking. What really was a few more dead bodies at this point? He had killed so many that he was starting to lose count and care little for one face over the other. The local law enforcement had crept away, tails between their legs rather than cross his path and even the local noble lords were more in the mood to be more humble and generous than cast a look Sukuna’s way. They gave small tribute to have him not walk past their doors and trouble their quivering homes. He accepted it for as long as it pleased him to leave them be.
They still treated him like a man to be reasoned with, unaware that Sukuna had more in common with a curse due to the oddities of his appearance than a man.
Really, he was seeing less and less reason to bother hide his four arms and eyes as the days passed by. Slowly he was starting to realize there was little point to hiding at all as he drowned himself in his indulgences of pleasure. Since Yuuji’s death, Sukuna had not seen a reason for a lot of things. Perhaps he hid at this point for a reveal far more dramatic, more terrifying, to the people who cowered like maggots beneath him.
Sukuna swept into the smuggler den without much care for the men who scattered before him as he took a deep long drink of wine from a clay jar he kept on his person daily these days. There was no occasion to not drink and just showing up was enough to start into his favorite vice. He cast a look around the place, a sneer tugging at the corner of his lips before he was walking towards his office, casting a vicious glare to one of the trembling smugglers.
“Did you find that brander yet? The one I asked for?” Sukuna spat.
His voice was phrased as a question, but it demanded answers in full and without question. One of the smugglers tensed, dropping low to kneel and head bowed less they lose their head for looking too high at the tyrant of their operation.
“Yes. The old man, we did find him and brought him here this morning,” they stuttered out.
“Have him brought to me. Now,”
Sukuna’s word was as good as law and he didn’t glance back to them as he entered into his private office and sunk into the plush chair there. He leaned back, gaze idly tracing over the stupid trappings of wealth he surrounded himself with, the beautiful silk tapestries worth their weight in gold that brought little pleasure to him. He frowned, taking a sip of his wine before raising two fingers to cut them apart.
Things that did not give him pleasure were useless after all and he would no longer suffering things that were useless in this world.
The sniveling smugglers soon arrived with the man in question and Sukuna grinned as he rested his chin against one hand. The man of course was familiar and in those sullen grey eyes, Sukuna could see a flicker of recognition.
“It has been a while, hasn’t it? Even though I don’t think we ever exchanged names last we met,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “Does not seem the years have treated you well, oh imperial brander,”
“They have treated me fine enough,” the old man said softly, “You were not a face I expected to see again though. The years seemed to have made you more bold than that terrified young man I had to mark,”
Sukuna smiled as he lifted up both hands, letting the black circles about his wrists be seen, “They have held up very well. Your skill is evident in how these brands had faded so little in those years. It is why I sought you out personally,”
He had wanted the man who had done his initial brands for this new task. That had been a thought that had slowly made its way into his mind as the days since Yuuji’s passing ticked away. He had stared at the marks on his wrists and felt a desire to have more marks put upon him, and there was only one person in his past, one nameless soul, that he wanted there.
A wave of the hand sent the smugglers away, leaving Sukuna alone with the old man who had been the one to put the mark of a thief upon him. Sukuna smiled though, as if greeting an old friend, already pouring out a cup of sake that the old man did not care to reach for as he sat their sullenly, grey eyes carefully regarding Sukuna. He remained silent, waiting for Sukuna to speak which pleased him.
The old man held his head low. Something so few these days could sense when dealing with the powerful sorcerer before them.
“I have committed a lot of crimes,” Sukuna said casually, “And I have no regret for any of them. They are a part of who I am at this point, just another face I have,”
He let his gaze flit down to the black circles about his wrists, “Even looking at this one, I can recall exactly the moment I got them and relive those days in strange nostalgia. It got me thinking to how there were many other moments I wish to be etched so boldly into my body, other crimes I don’t want to have forgotten,”
Sukuna let one of his hands idly rub over his wrists before looking to the man, “You are a brander of criminals and sinners. I will not tell you what mark to make or where to put them. Instead, I will tell you what I have done, what little regrets I might have, and you will do as you please to mark me. Let my body be the canvas for the vision you have of what sort of monster I am,”
The old man regarded him silently before he gave a nod, slowly putting his kit on the table before him, “I will do what I can, but I am no artist and I have no visions or ambitions as such. I am only a brander,”
“I don’t need an artist, I need someone who has seen and heard much, and knows the mark for such a story,”
Sukuna sat back, letting the kimono from his shoulders and revealed all four arms. He opened his second pair of eyes, smirking as the old man’s tired eyes widened just a touch and there was a slight tremble in his hands, “I’ve always been a bit different,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “I hope that does not alarm you,”
“I’m here to do a job,” the old man said, voice wavering, “I’ll do the job I was sent for,”
Sukuna let out a chuckle, settling himself comfortably, “Then let’s get to it,”
It was strange to talk about his past to a stranger, but Sukuna felt it sort of liberating after so long keeping it to himself. The pain of the old man’s needles against his skin as he worked bled into the pain of each memory from past to present. He could recall little of his youth before the monastery, only a blurr of unnamed faces and the steady hand of master Kotarou wrapped about his own small hand, guiding him gently along and encouraging him to a more selfless path.
Then that hand was replaced by Yuuji’s hand, guiding him along until he was strong enough to take the lead and pull Yuuji to where he wanted. Before the brat had led go and left him alone.
Now, there were no more hands to hold as none were worth taking and Sukuna knew well the pleasures of this life that had been denied him so long by his own desire to appease the last person that meant anything.
Sukuna’s life was dripping in sin and blood already and he laid out each crime in meticulous, eager detail, no longer bound by any sense of guilt for who was to judge him now with Yuuji gone? He could laugh and contemplate to his heart’s content, never flinching or caring as the old man’s needles set to work on branding him with each macabre sin and memory. All four wrists now had a dark circle, matching in a way that pleased Sukuna. Matching rings were about his upper arms, a circle upon each shoulders, and lines of black ink over his chest and back.
No doubt so many would speculate about the meaning of such tattoos, basic in their design, but bold against his skin. Marks that were placed with care by firm hands that had listened to Sukuna make his confessions and had judged solemnly where each word needed to be placed.
Sukuna’s body ached with the burn of each mark. His tongue too had been branded, stinging but never slowing Sukuna down as he could speak easily from his second mouth. He was pleased with his marks and he could only sigh through the pain, enjoying how he felt now he had no shame to hide.
“Is that everything then,” the old man’s question came as Sukuna had lapsed into silence, leaned against the table between them with an unspoken silence.
“No. There is one last thing,” Sukuna paused, and for the first time in confessing his sins, a kernel of guilt and sadness curled up in his empty heart, “There is one last person I have committed harm against,”
Sukuna looked to the old man, all four piercing blue eyes looking into sullen, hard grey eyes, “I have mentioned many times Yuuji, yes? The one companion I had? The one who had stood by me through all this with his foolish hope of making me into someone like him?”
A bitter chuckle escaped Sukuna, “I killed him too. I killed him and killed him in my heart and memory so I would never let anyone in again. He’s gone, but I want to remember his death most of all as he was the most painful lesson I was forced to endure, one I do not wish to have to take again,”
The old man stared at Sukuna for a long time before he picked up his tools, one gnarled hand coming to take Sukuna’s jaw firmly in hand, “Murder is always marked on the face,” he said dully, “That is the place this one should occupy,”
“Then do as you will. You know I won’t flinch,” Sukuna returned with a wicked grin.
And he didn’t flinch as the old man’s hands marked his face with this last murder. His face burned as the death of love was carved onto it. With that pain, Yuuji would be burned into him and gone forever. Just marks upon his face as a reminder as to the foolishness it was to keep someone so close. It was a reminder of how empty life was when pleasure was ignored to think of some other fool’s contentment. Useless.
Utterly and forever useless.
The old man finished at last and sat back in his seat, his eyes cast down to his tools that he carefully put away. Sukuna admired the markings on his face in a mirror, smiling as he found them pleasing, set about right and framing his face just as he wanted. He could only give a hum, two eyes flicking to the old man as he cleaned up his work.
“You are very skill. Did you ever take up an apprentice to your trade?” Sukuna asked casually.
“No. Branding is no art and is a trade that any fool could learn,”The old man said softly, “There are a dozen souls like me who do the same grim task,”
Sukuna hummed, “There is an art to what you do with it. A dedicated hand and vision to it all,” he turned to smile at the man, almost gentle , “It I a pity your craft will die with you,”
The old man nodded, giving no protest, resigned from the start as to the fate that would befall him. He merely finished packing up everything neatly and set the box of his tools before him, hands folded over them, “As do all talents die with their masters,” he murmured.
“Well spoken,”
Sukuna gave the old man mercy in making his death quick. The slash took his head apart, killing him in an instant and letting the body crumble peacefully to the ground. The old man probably wouldn’t have spoken of his work, but Sukuna did not want him to mention even a word of what he had heard today or to reveal the meaning of the marks upon Sukuna’s body. Those were for him, and him alone, to ever know. These brands were personal, done with careful hands, and to be personal declarations to whatever gods remained of the sins he had done. He would wear them with pride, without judgment save his own and unchallenged by all.
He couldn’t help a laugh as he pulled back on his kimono, grinning wide as he stepped over the body of the old man, feet splashing through the blood as he stepped out of his office. There were no smugglers left beyond the door at such a late hour. As soon as they could, the fearful men rushed away in hopes that their tyrant would not show up again. Each day, fewer of them remained, running away from the death that followed Sukuna that he would hand out generously should the mood take him. Really their desertion did not bother Sukuna as he had little use for them or this operation anymore.
He was alone, as he was meant to be from the start.
He told himself he could care less that no one was there. After all, he was meant to stand apart from everyone, stand above as their superior. He was a king yet to take a throne, but the entire world was set before him to find what would please him.
Alone he stood.
But alone, he was left too much to his thoughts which clawed at the back of his mind and writhed in the ink now adorning his body.
Sukuna left the warehouse then, stepping into the streets and making his way back to his home as the sun began to slowly sink away. He barely gave a glance to anyone, not even pausing when some poor man had stumbled in his way and then screamed as his legs were cut out from under him, leaving him bleeding and writing in the street. Sukuna stepped over him. The rest of the city was silent and barren of the streets to give the king his room to pass.
Sukuna paused in the foyer of the once beautiful tavern he had built, now empty of patrons and the smell of rot clinging to corners where bodies had been left to decay. He had no need of the staff, the patrons, or any soul really. He had done away with them.
There was but one living thing still within these walls he tolerated.
“Ahoto? Where are you, you mongrel?” Sukuna said, voice light and happy as he stepped into his room.
The old dog raised his head, greeting him with a loyal wag of its tail and a wheezy bark. Sukuna took a seat, patting a knee to which Ahoto came over, resting his old head against it, eyes closing as one of Sukuna’s hands ruffled over his aged fur.
A smile touched Sukuna’s lips, something soft and gentle as he petted the dog. Ahoto was a loyal companion. Yuuji had trained the dog well to always follow them both and in those gentle, misty brown eyes, there was still something of Yuuji left. That strange unconditional kindness that eluded Sukuna but was so easy for Yuuji and Ahoto to grasp. Sukuna let out a sigh, petting over the head of the dog, leaning back and looking out the window to the sea.
It still seemed like such a bland thing to Sukuna. What Yuuji had seen in it still was something he couldn’t wrap his head around. Yet there had been some siren’s song that had drawn his heart out there to die in the depths. Something he wanted to find and stared constantly at that moving mass of water that swayed in predictable, dull manners and always remained a sickly green color, filled with all the rut and waste of the world. A wretched thing that made no sense to why so many declared it so beautiful.
It wasn’t the sort of beauty that had shown from Yuuji when he smiled. He had always been what made the sea look like anything more than a limp rag. His lover had been able to wrap anything ugly about him and turn it to gold.
Just the memory of Yuuji in those soft moments brought an ache to Sukuna’s heart and a soft scowl to his lips.
Sukuna let out a sigh, closing his eyes a moment before he dropped his hand away from Ahoto’s head, “Idiot brat,” he murmured, “As if I could ever kill you in my heart,”
Such a bold claim he made to the old man, but Sukuna always lied to people and to himself. He lied until he could one day believe the lies he told himself. The four-armed man shifted then to reach for his sake, feeling a desire for drink once more take him. As he moved, Ahoto remained still, a dead weight on his leg and as always, he took pains not to just push the dog away, too fond of the old thing for that.
Sukuna scowled a touch, nudging his knee under the dog’s head, “Ahoto, you are growing heavy. Move already mongrel,”
The dog did not move. There was no rise or fall to his chest. The dog lay still, face relaxed, content until the last moment.
Gone.
Sukuna stared at the dog and the grief in his chest he had thought wept out already with Yuuji’s death returned. He was back on that beach, mourning the loss of his world all over again. Yet no tears came this time. The grief stayed heavy in his chest as gently he picked up the body of the dead dog, letting fingers brush through soft fur, and let out a breath of a sigh.
“I suppose you’ve done enough, Ahoto,” he murmured, “Maybe Yuuji needs you more, wherever he is in nirvana,”
Now his home stood truly empty of all other souls and the gnawing emptiness threatened to clamp around the last of sane thought. He pet the fur of the dog a few times before he rose to his feet. He didn’t bother to hide his four arms or four eyes, letting it all be seen as he carried Ahoto solemnly in two arms, and opened the door with another. He left the shell of what was once his home and headed back out into the city. He ignored the looks of horror, idly lifting two fingers and taking out the eyes of any who dared to look at him and not lower their heads.
He did it with an indifference that held no emotion, no malice but also no pleasure. He just didn’t care for staring eyes in his moment of grief. Only the wails of the blind would be allowed to be the melody of this funeral. The fear in the city had grown so heavy, the energy of it was probably a feast for many a curse that would skuttle about. That heavy aura followed Sukuna as he made his away across the city to the looming structures of the grand temple built at the very edge of the city limits.
This monastery was a grand place, funded by nobles and lavishly decorated from every eave with wealth. It reminded Sukuna of his own youth, although this place was more orderly and structured and lacked any of the old charms that the mountain monastery used to have. There was less worn age to it, brought on by gentle years and an abundance of wilderness about it. A hollow place, as far as Sukuna was concerned, but it would serve the purpose he had in mind in seeing Ahoto off properly.
He entered it with respect enough, although the monks that cared for it were wide-eyed, already looking on with rage as if he came to defile this pathetic holy place. As if anything divine ever walked or inhabited such a place.
“Demon! You are not welcomed here!” One of the older monks dared, raising a hand “You will-”
Sukuna didn’t bother to listen to him. He cut the old man apart with a careless flick of two fingers. The rest of the monks drew back, eyes wide in fear as they watched their elder collapse in pieces, his organs spilling out to the world in a bloody heap. A smirk tugged at Sukuna’s lips as he lifted his hand and with another flick, sent another vicious cut through the lot of them. Screams ripped the air as the crowd was sliced apart from the waste up, all those highly held heads forced to drop to the ground in servitude in their death. No survivors stood.
None, save a cowering lump of a novice who had huddled down by some chance of fate, quivering in fear, head low to the ground. The little monk was trembling, gasping in quaking fear and Sukuna couldn’t help a chuckle as he approached, giving a nudge of his foot to the novice.
“Well now, aren’t you a lucky soul,” he said with a smirk, “Seems you knew well to lower your head before your betters,”
The novice looked up with wide pink eyes. Their short white hair had a stripe of red blood from the splatter of the slaughter. The poor thing was trembling, staring at Sukuna with a look of horror and awe at such a raw show of power. Such innocent eyes really. It reminded Sukuna of Yuuji in some regards. Some foolish little monk in training, unwise to the world, and probably destined to stare off at horizons and be called away to strange flights of fancy.
Unless of course, they were shaped to how Sukuna wanted. That thought entered his mind and began to take form with an eager, twisted desire. He didn’t need anyone, but perhaps to have a companion, one molded completely how he wanted, bent entirely to his will, and who would rather die than leave, perhaps that was a better fit for him.
A new loyal pet that would replace the one he lost.
“You have a name?” Sukuna asked, nudging the novice monk.
“Ura...Uraume,” they stuttered out, “You… you killed everyone…!”
“Does that upset you? Does it make you want to do me harm?” Sukuna asked with a sneer, “Because you are welcome to try and avenge them. I won’t stop you, but it would be a waste,”
Uraume swallowed hard, looking around at the dead monks laying in pieces around them, trembling all the more, “What will you do to me?”
Sukuna tilted his head, thoughtful before he started to walk up to the altar where he knelt, carefully laying out Ahoto’s body upon it and starting to give the gentle rites of death. He did not answer Uraume’s question right away. He let the novice kneel there and tremble as he began the process of cremating Ahoto and allowing the loyal beast a gentle rest in another life.
Perhaps to be companion to Yuuji and make sure he would not be alone in what paradise there was, as Sukuna was certain he would never be able to see Yuuji again in any life.
His sins were too heavy to follow him into paradise.
Once the last bit of fire faded, did Sukuna turn, glancing to where Uraume still knelt, eyes wide, filled with fear.
“Do you cook, Uraume?”
“I-yes. Yes I do,” they stammered.
Sukuna gave a hum as he rose to his feet, glancing about the courtyard, “Then I want you to use the stores of this place to make me a feast,” he said, “If I find your cooking to my tastes, I suppose I’ll let you come with me as my personal attendant,”
“Of course,” Uraume paused, looking a touch hesitant, “But why?”
“You remind me of someone foolish when they were young. Perhaps I want to see if I can spare you the pain of becoming that foolish brat,” Sukuna said, rubbing his chin musingly, “And I feel you might have some talent as a sorcerer. Would you not want to learn how to harness that? “
Uraume swallowed, tensing up a touch, “I...yes. Yes I would,”
“Then make me a feast,” Sukuna’s grin grew more vicious and a coldness settled in his eyes as he leaned forward, grasping Uraume by the chin,“And make sure to use plenty of meat. I absolutely loath a vegetarian's modest diet,”
“Meat?” Uraume asked, looking confused, “But there is no meat here,”
Sukuna smirked wide, a cruel, vicious thing as he let go of Uraume’s chin and stepped back the trembling monk, not caring for anything that they were. Male or female, young or old, it mattered so terribly little to Sukuna as he headed towards the dinning hall. He paused only for a moment in the doorway, giving a glance about the courtyard before looking at Uraume’s pale, wide-eyed expression and gave them an almost gentle smile that was so terribly mocking, “What do you mean?” he asked innocently, “I see plenty of meat laying around this courtyard for you to use,”
He could see the color drain out of Uraume’s face as they took in his words, looking over the slaughtered bodies of the monks. They trembled, staring wide-eyed before a broken, croak of a laugh started to slip out of them. They started to laugh a little harder as they rose to their feet, staggering some and staring at the dead bodies of their brothers in the monastery.
Uraume laughed, even as they grasped hands onto one of the bloody hunks and started to drag it towards the kitchen to do as they were told. Sukuna could only smile, finding the loyalty pleasing and refreshing. Uraume might be worth keeping around. A companion that he could shape to be exactly what he wanted, to his exact tastes and pleasures. It would be a better replacement for Yuuji, something Sukuna would never love for how pathetic this new creature was to follow his will, but something that he could speak to and it would listen without any sort of judgment save a willingness to serve.
Exactly what he wanted now at his side.
Sukuna couldn’t help but laugh then to and wondered if the taste of human flesh would be as he remembered his first bite in his youth.
It would be exciting to see what Uraume could come up with to sate the appetites of a king.
He licked his lips, looking forward to what sort of feast he was about to indulge in this day.
Notes:
RIP Ahoto, you lived a good puppy life ; w ; Also yeah! Megumi and Nobara are now in this story to form the terrible trio as we all need, especially Yuuji. Now they are heading west to find their path!
And Sukuna is starting to become the horrible demon we all know and love....
Chapter 12: A Journey Apart
Notes:
This is a big chapter and another split one with the first part being Yuuji and the second part being Sukuna! The two halves will come together eventually....in chapter fourteen hehe! For now, let the angst train continue!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The wind over the high plains had a bite to it that reminded Yuuji of the cold winter he had spent on the road as a child. The sort of chill that would find its way through any gap in clothing to bite at exposed skin and leave it stinging like the snap of a whip. Yet it was a strange sort of cold for Yuuji for in the desolate looking plains that stretched on seemingly forever, the days could be so blistering hot under a baking sun, only to become a shivering wasteland once the day had retired. It was a quick and brutal shift in temperature, but one that he had adapted to as their journey West took them across more hostile landscapes.
Yuuji squinted at the horizon, his honey-colored eyes the only thing exposed as he wore coverings over his face to help defend against both the scalding heat and the nipping cold, trying to see if today the mountains he was heading towards were yet in sight. The horizon though remained a hazy line, here near the roof of the world, only the plains that stretched out with clinging grasses and mosses, and the herd of animals that called this harsh world home. Harsh, but also so elegantly beautiful.
The sorcerer hid his disappointment at seeing no mountains, soon scanning across the plains for any hints of a change of weather. There were times the wind would grow angry and stir up great storms of dust that had forced them on a few occasions to take shelter less they end up buried alive or become lost. In the aftermath, it always felt like the whole landscape had changed, warped into something new, yet still, breath-taking. It was all so foreign to Yuuji. He was use to mountains and forests and the occasional stretches of farmland and meadows, but this place was made of rock and stone, the mountains growing more towering and imposing by the day, all while the air felt thinner as if the whole world was starting to rise up towards the Heavens.
The place was desolate, but beautiful in a quiet way that Yuuji found himself enjoying. He could stare at it and feel his mind drift, rolling with the wind that softly dusted over it, and in the cries of the massive birds of prey that moved lazily overhead. Maybe that is why Yuuji found himself perched up on the rock, just taking it all in, burning it into his memory, so as never to forget having seen such an alien, yet beautiful place.
“Oi! Yuuji! You going to sit up there all evening or come down to get some food?!”
Yuuji turned his head to look down at where he was sitting to where Nobara stood, her face covering dropped so she could holler up to him, an irritated pout on her face. He couldn’t help a smile, knowing for all her bluster and grousing, at heart, Nobara was a kind soul that cared fiercely for all of them. She had taken it upon herself to make sure that they kept themselves fed on this journey, negotiating shrewdly with merchants they passed on the lonely roads across China on the Silk Road, and making them take breaks rather than push on. If Yuuji was the heart of this journey that kept them going forward to some new goal, then Nobara was the brains of the operation.
“Coming down now!” Yuuji yelled back as he rose to his feet before he nimbly began to descend, as sure-footed as the mountain yaks that called this place home.
Nobara shook her head at him, turning around with a small huff, “So anything interest up there where you were staring off?”
“Nothing but more of the same landscape for the past week,” He returned as he lifted his hand to draw the covering away from his face, “No sign of the mountains yet, but they aren’t more than a few days away, by the reckoning of the farmer in the last village we stayed in,”
Megumi gave a nod from where he was sitting, his eyes fixed on a map stretched out before him where he had been meticulously keeping track of their progress from the explanation given by a merchant they had met in Chengdu. He had settled into the role of their navigator and with the aid of the two shikigami hounds he had learned to summon, more than capable of keeping them on the trail and tracking down game when they needed to restock with no villages around. He was the feet on the ground, unwavering in which way to go, made stronger by the support of Yuuji’s optimism and Nobara’s cunning.
“We will be coming up on the mountains soon, the Ximalaya Mountain, as the scholar in Chengdu called them,” Megumi said, glancing up to the others, “From there, we can ask for a guide to find the monastery proper,”
“Shouldn’t be too difficult,” Choso said from where he was tending to the single pack animal they had brought with them, “Especially as we have been able to make better time with the yak carrying supplies for us,”
Upon leaving behind Sichuan to cross into Tibet, they had opted to pick up a sturdy yak to help carry what they needed. The animal was strong, but in Choso’s hands, it had remained steadfast at their heals, as Choso was no doubt the hands of the party, keeping a firm grip on everything and keeping them well out of harm’s way. He had the wisdom of age and a fierce desire to protect them that could not be matched, a protective brother that stood like a shield against the harshest parts of their journey without question.
The four of them were bound together in a way that had Yuuji smiling, not feeling as alone as he once had, and his heart feeling lighter, despite the hole of loss that still existed where Sukuna once had been. Sometimes he wondered if Sukuna would enjoy a journey like this into wild country with nothing but their strength and wits about them, and with danger at every turn. The elements pushed against them. Strong curses roamed these ancient lands and had challenged the group of sorcerers time and time again.There were of course bandits and more than a few thieves to contend with, but so far they had always kept together and overcome each challenge with ease. Time and time again, they rose up as a group, growing stronger, more confident mind, body, and soul.
There was an energy, a connection that held them together and a warmth that Yuuji could not deny as he took his seat, smiling as Nobara handed him his bowl of soul with a side of rice and some dried fruits.
“I hope that the people won’t be suspicious of a group looking for this monastery. It is a rather ancient order of sorcerers after all,” Yuuji said as he used his fingers to scoop rise into his mouth, “Their teachings would reshape the Jujutsu order and bring in a new understanding of curses and how to combat them,”
“I am curious to see how they study sorcery,” Megumi commented as he started to roll up the map and carefully slide it back into its casing, “It will be interesting to see what they do differently than what the noble families who practice the art teach,”
Nobara gave a snort and a small roll of her eyes, “Probably will be a bunch of old men with old ideas about things too,” she warned, “Have to take their teachings and blend it into how the world is changing,”
The drew a small laugh from Yuuji, although he nodded in agreement, “Maybe and if it is, we’ll change it. We’ll change it so everyone else can see how much good there is still in this world,”
Because that is what this journey had been teaching Yuuji with every hard step. That for every bit of misery, for every suffering moment, there was a beauty to this world that existed. It was in the laughter shared with is companions when one of them stumbled a bit, turning every misstep into a small bit of humor. It was in the sunrises and sunsets that turned the sky a hundred thousand colors as the sun danced between both ends of the earth. It was in the landscapes, the foliage, the creatures he saw and heard calling in the night and in the fear and awe that could fill him in those late hours knowing something unknown could be lurking out of sight.
Every moment of life was painted in such wonder and goodness that still rose and shown above all else and he wanted so much to be the hand that guided people towards seeing the world as he did and put aside their grief, their sorrow, their anger, and their hatred to just see what they were worth. That their color, in all its exotic, unique glory belonged as a small part of something so much larger.
Even as they laid out for the evening, that thought circled in Yuuji’s head as he stared up at the endless stars above, feeling so small, yet so significant and blessed to witness the sight, even if he saw it a thousand times.
It made him wish so much Sukuna was here by his side so he could tell him all about it like they had done as small children, watching his dear friend, his lover’s eyes always widen in that awe when regarding the sky that Yuuji painted with his words. All the little constellations he and Sukuna had drawn in the sky that were all their own, still here under foreign skies, eternal. Endless. Boundless and free. During the worst points of their lives, they could always look up at the sky and find their way back to those days and to their love.
Until something had been lost and Yuuji could only wonder how things gotten so complicated and cruel between them.
“How do you think our life is going to change after we get to the monastery and start to train?”
Megumi’s voice was hushed in the dark as if to pay reverence to the beautiful night above they were all gazing up at in their own contemplation of the future. It was just that Megumi tended to voice his thoughts and worries, looking for guidance in his own way through the companionship that was dear to him.
“I don’t know,” Yuuji said, eyes still tracing the constellations of his youth, “It could go so many different ways. It is kind of overwhelming to think about honestly,”
“Please!” Nobara cut in with a huff, “It is obvious what will happen! We’ll become powerful sorcerers, jujutsu sorcerers, and kick the butts of every curse we see, help people, and make a name for ourselves in history!”
Yuuji gave a laugh at that, a smile tugging at his lips, “You really think that?”
“I think we have a decent shot,” Choso said, voice amused, “We’ve survived this far on our wits, or at least, on some luck,”
“Probably luck,” Megumi agreed with a chuckle, “Perhaps there is some goddess or spirit that is looking over us,”
Nobara snorted, “We don’t need all that. We have each other,” she declared, reaching a hand up to the sky, “In fact, right there, I can trace out Megumi and your stupid messy hair standing next to me, fabulously drawn in the stars, and of course Yuuji’s smile is right there and Choso’s big strong form, wrangling a star yak,”
Yuuji followed the tip of her finger to the sky, letting his eyes trace over the stars, smiling, not seeing what she saw, but he could imagine it. The four of them, forever trekking across the night sky, seeking out their fortunes as powerful sorcerers, hand in hand for eternity.
“I can see that,” Yuuji said softly, “The four of us, now and forever, looking out for each other, keeping each other safe, and always saving one another,”
“From now until forever,” Nobara agreed with a laugh.
The night passed peacefully, those small words always a comfort to ease busy minds. The stars kept their watch closely over them and even in the darkness, all four knew they were not alone, only a brush of fingers close by.
Yuuji woke with the dawn as he always did, stretching out stiff limbs from the bite of the cold. He moved to get the embers of the fire stirred to life and breakfast going, giving a nod and a hum to Choso as his brother was the second to awake, moving to tend to their pack animal and get it ready to move once the sun was high enough that their way would be more easy to see. Megumi was always third to rouse himself with Nobara being the last to yawn and arise, staring with bleary eyes to the fire with a frown.
It was how they always woke up, in their own ways, shuffling about before once more they were pulling coverings over their face to avoid the worse of the biting wind, and began their long trek. Already their journey had gone a year and a half across half a continent, all with a destination in mind that they kept in their hearts like a beacon.
Only today, the end of this leg of the journey finally came into sight as they rose higher on those plains, cresting the final stretched and seeing finally the looming peaks of the mountains that were said to touch the heavens themselves. Those pristine, white peaks were like the teeth of some creature or perhaps the fingers of a fallen god clawing to return back to the blue heavens. The tallest of the peaks swam in and out of vision behind billowing clouds that swirled and fell off it like an ocean, down into the deep valleys and forests that surrounded the roots of such mighty monoliths. With each step, their party drew closer and the excitement in the air grew more palpable.
Hope beat in their chests, wild and unteathered, and gave them the strength to push on forward.
It was days after seeing the mountains that they reached a village that was tucked in the rocky lowlands at the roots with a modest temple tucked nearby. As his companions took their rest, Yuuji took out the scroll with Master Dayu’s instructions, looking over them and then to the map Megumi had been working over. They were so close now.
So very close.
“The monastery is higher up the trail,” Choso said as he returned to where the three of them had set up a modest camp in the shelter of one of the boulders about the village, “They say though we are hitting the trail at a bad time. The first snows are expected any day and once they fall, it will be a long time before anyone could forge the trail through the mountains at all,”
Nobara frowned, “Which means we would have to wait weeks, even months before arriving at the monastery,” She murmured, “I wonder how that place even keeps itself fed if it gets cut off completely,”
“They probably have some sorcery or means of producing what they need to survive,” Megumi said with a shrug, “Or they are masters at fasting,”
Yuuji gave a shrug, “A little of both. I remember having to do both in the winter months when it was hard to come by food,”
Choso looked to the trail ahead and the thunderous clouds that swirled further near the peaks that slowly crept downwards, “So what should we do?”
Yuuji looked up at those clouds, frowning. They were a concerning thing and it reminded him so much of the swollen storm he had witnesses while on the ship. Those black clouds were a warning to all to refuse challenge and bend knee before them. In his mind, the fear it inspired told him to stay put and weather it where they were. Yet something in him, some voice, told him he had to challenge this storm. That before him was his path, that he knew his path, and somewhere in those mountains, he was being called, summoned, to achieve something. It felt like some will other than his own beckoned him to suffer again on a path to something greater.
Yuuji rose to his feet and moved to stand at the head of the trail, as if listening. There was no voice, so much as a feeling in his veins. His eyes narrowed, contemplating before he turned to his companions with a tilt of his head, “Buy as much as we can and put it on the yak then we tie a rope to each other. I’ll take point and find the path, hold tight to the rope and we can lead each other and lead the yak along,”
“A risky plan,” Megumi murmured, “One wrong move and we could be off a cliff or buried alive in snow,”
“We won’t die. We’ll be fine,” Yuuji said, one hand rising to the prayer beads about his neck, “We’ve come this far and we have to go forward. We can beat the worse of it and find our path,”
“We also could wait,” Choso pointed out softly, “IS there a rush to get there?”
Yuuji closed his eyes. Choso was right, and yet something else in Yuuji told him he had to go forward. Some voice deep inside said that this mountain, in of itself, was a challenge set before them and they had to prove themselves and their convictions. Perhaps a foolish idea, but it tugged at his soul as he held those beads. A whisper that told him to ascend.
He was close now. They were all close now.
“I think there is a rush,” Yuuji said softly, “Call me strange, but I feel like this is something we were meant to do,”
Choso gave a nod, hesitating before his brow furrowed in resolve, “Then let’s get the supplies and be on our way,”
They moved quickly then, working together to get ready for the trek ahead. Yuuji check his boots, following the way of the people in attaching metal crampons to help dig into the earth and adopting a long staff to prod ahead into the snow for the hidden edge of cliffs and deep holes that could become hidden under the heavy blankets of snow and ice. He bundled up tighter, well aware of how cold it could become when a storm came, having spent a night through many blizzards beside Sukuna, wondering if he would wake up the next day. The rope was fastened tightly to each of their waists by Choso, chaining them together as they began to walk up the path steadily, keeping close with eyes fixed ahead.
They would take the mountain trail until there came upon a boulder that was said to look like the cresting head of an eagle, wide at the base with the markings that would indicate the small break in the path that would lead to a smaller trail to the monastery. It was a rough road, not well kept once there and it would be an almost vertical climb through the blizzard once it hit.
If they were lucky, they could hit that path before the blizzard arrived. They had to make the most of the time given as they kept going forward, pushing their pace while they could. No one complained. No one spoke. Their eyes were set ahead. Yuuji guided them forward with a single-minded determination and his companions followed his back, like devoted followers to the one that ascended before them. All the while, the clouds circled up above, slowly falling down the mountains like armies, swallowing up the sun and sky in their blistering clutches.
The snow began to fall slowly as they headed higher and higher up, so delicate as it touched the rocky ground. Yuuji kept his path ahead, staff in hand and eyes narrowed and set on where they needed to go, where he needed to guide his companions. They trusted him. They followed him. And he in turn would protect them and make sure they reached the end and could find their dreams.
They found the split in the path as the sky grew darker and the wind began to howl, turning the gentle snow into a wall of blistering cold. Snow began to fall heavier, clinging to everything. It was at that point Yuuji lit a lantern and attached it to his hip like a guiding light as he started to lead the way forward, digging his staff forward and taking his time as the world became a shock of familiar blue and white.
He was back in his childhood again, battling against the fury of nature. The landscape had bee whiped away of nothing but cold and what little he could see ahead in formless shapes. He moved forward steadily, aware of the lives in his hand and pausing at times to reach back to touch against Megumi’s hand, who in turn reached back to touch Nobara who touched Choso, who reached to ruffle the snow covered hair of the yak. They always checked, always made sure they could see or feel the others, holding onto one and another and their resolve and strength as they ascended.
All their eyes fixed ahead on Yuuji and his light, a beacon in the dark as he continued to move, eyes narrowed, hard, unwavering in his will. The wind would not stop him, nor would the cold. Nor the mountain itself as it seemed to howl as he gripped his hands into snow to pull himself up along the steep path.
He was a child, wandering paths through mountains, fingers and toes frozen and covered in frost. He clung to Sukuna as they moved ahead, only needing each other in those dark moments. Sukuna stumbling, unable to stand, coughing in illness and Yuuji pushing forward, always forward, because the path was always clear before him. He had always been a guide and now, he felt no fear.
Yuuji always could find his way despite everything, confident where he put his foot down for every step forward. He left his childhood behind and he walked through snow up to his hips now, still ascending and feeling the comfortable weight of his companions, hearing them behind them. Megumi’s eyes were set ahead, where before he barely looked up and couldn’t see a future for himself, so resigned to his end. Behind him was Nobara, once wild, not set and calm, ready to seize the good life that had been promised her. Then Choso, who had lost so much, but would never loose anything again, grim-faced as he moved ahead. Even the yak seemed to be drawn to the will of the party, following along with shakes of its fur, taking a strange bravery in the companionship of its strange herd.
Yuuji kept forward, eyes ahead to see the faint markers in the snow with small scraps of cloth that showed the way to to the monastery and soon, out of the frosted chill, a structure emerged. It was huge, massive and carved out of the mountain itself. Snow clung to its every surface, although the eves of a roof and the closed tight windows were easy to observe in the darkness. A massive gate stood before them and as they approached, like the entrance to some grand throne of a god. Yuuji led the way to that door, pulling off one glove to bang loudly against it.
“Anyone home? We are travelers, come to seek guidance in your monastery!” he called out, giving another bang, “We bring supplies!”
There was a long, tense moment where there were no sounds save their labored breaths as they huddled together and the howl of the storm. Soon though, the door shuddered, opening up. A thin ray of light began to spread out over the ground, interrupted only by the silhouette of a person moving into the doorway to peer at them.
A man stood, bundled up in the cold with eyes fixed on the party as he raised up a lantern high to regard them, not at all surprised to see them it seemed, or perhaps use to such strange company arriving at odd times.
“It is either bravery or foolishness that drives any soul to come in such weather,” the man said, “What drives you this far?”
“A lot of things,” Yuuji called out, “But better to explain it while in warmer shelter,”
“We can offer shelter, but not much else. Our supplies are limited due to an accident,” The man said, stepping aside to let the party enter, “We are hoping to at least last enough for the storms to pass and a party to head down to the warmer lowlands,”
Yuuji pulled down the coverings over his face, giving a smile as he entered into the warmth of the monastery, glancing back to make sure the others were there. Relief was in him to see Megumi, Nobara, Choso and their loyal pack animal stumble in, all of them with the same look of relief.
“We brought a lot of supplies with us, more than we could reasonably use,” Yuuji said, extending a hand to the man, “As to why we are here, it is to receive training to become sorcerers, although for today, to risk this weather, it was a gut feeling that we were needed sooner rather than later,”
“Needed sooner rather than later indeed,” The man said with a chuckle as he watched the yak lumber in and the many supplies it carried, “You might have just saved many lives by coming to us now,”
Nobara snorted, giving a nudge to Yuuji as she pulled off her hat, “I swear you got a sixth sense for people in trouble and needing you to be there to save them,”
Choso gave a quiet laugh, “It does seem to be a talent my younger brother does indeed have,”
Yuuji just gave a duck of his head in embarrassment, “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you all there, but enough slapping each other on the backs, eh? I say it is time to feel warm again,”
For how large the monastery was, there were not many monks there and those that were, were all older and carried themselves with a sense of power and purpose. They were grateful for the supplies, ushering them into the main room where they had gathered their sleeping beds to be close to the large fire that had been lit to heat the hall. Rather than try to heat the rest of the structure, they moved inward, keeping only a few rooms warmed and indulge in the companionship of their fellow monks in those long winter months. The man who had greeted them at the door removed his coverings, revealing a shock of blond hair and a weathered face as he indicated where the four of them could rest, their pack animal moved to settle down with the few other yaks the monastery raised.
Yuuji settled in with his companions, rubbing his hands as he held them out to the fire to get warmth back into them, letting out a soft sigh of relief. The pleasant relief of the fire had him sinking back some, letting his eyes wander the halls, finding them familiar and different all at once. It reminded him of the monastery he grew up in on a much grandeur scale, the artifacts within so much older, and the monks there, dressed in the dark robes of the jujutsu order, more grim faced than those he knew. Still, even in their weathered expressions, was a calm compassion that calmed Yuuji, making him feel both safe and at ease with his surroundings.
It felt like he had finally, after so long, found where he was suppose to finally be.
“You, the leader of this group, the grand master of our order wishes to speak to you,”
Yuuji glanced up as the monk who had greeted him stood solemnly there, frowning a touch. The blond manhad a calm expression, although foreign, especially the shock of blond hair he had which seemed out of place, but then this place sat at the center of the world and there were people from strange lands who lingered in such places.
“Right,” Yuuji rose to his feet, brushing himself up, “Uh, thank you,”
“You may call me Nanami,” The man said, turning on his heels to lead the way deeper into the temple, “I feel I can at least give you my name for the help you have brought us,”
“Nanami. That sounds like something from my homeland. Japan that is,” Yuuji said, following after him, “I’m Itadori Yuuji,”
Nanami gave a hint of a slight smile, “I was born and raised for a time in Japan, in the southern islands,” He said as he folded his hands behind his back and led the way towards the massive shrine, “I traveled here on a whim after many years of fruitless ventures as a merchant,”
“I guess this place attracts people who are leaving a fruitless venture then,” Yuuji said with a quiet laugh, “My story isn’t much different than yours,”
“That seems to be how things happen for those who become jujutsu sorcerers. It is a calling, a feeling to pursue, not so much as a path we get to pick,” Nanami came to the shrine and gave a low bow, to the man who sat at the shrine, “Grand Master Bankei, I present Itadori Yuuji, the leader of the party that arrived,”
Yuuji bowed his own head, although he gave a small glance up at the monk before him. He wore heavy robes trimmed with fur to combat the cold and for his weathered age that he wore in hundreds of deep wrinkles across his face, there was a powerful, unwavering gaze that spoke of knowledge that stretched back into years of experience. It made Yuuji feel like he was just a young monk in training again, being brought before the head of the monastery to discuss matters of his training once more.
“Itadori. Come sit here before me,”
Yuuji did not hesitate to move forward, kneeling before and bowing respectively to the monk, “Master Bankei, it is my honor to sit before you and to be given shelter in your home,”
“It is rare we get visitors, even rarer when they meant to come here. Most who stumble here in the winter months are lost sherpas,” Master Bankei said, his eyes falling to the prayer beads about Yuuji’s neck, “It has been a very long time since any from the far monasteries has made the journey this far for training and not for the end of their journey,”
“I was advised to come here,” Yuuji said softly, “After straying from my path, this option was put before me and I decided to take a chance,”
The old monk nodded, eyes fixed on Yuuji. He seemed to stare right through him and to his soul. Master Bankei raised a weathered hand to stroke slowly through his beard, giving a low hum, “You’ve come here for training, but I do not think you are yet ready to become a true master of the order,”
Yuuji blinked and felt his stomach drop a moment as he looked up at the master quickly, eyes wide, “What?”
“So many will say that a true master of sorcery dies with regrets, but that is only true of those who have not embraced the art. No, a true sorcerer will die without a moment of regret, no hesitation and to do that, you must let go of the fears that continue to bind you so tightly to your flesh,” master Bankei said with a grim look, “And there is fear clutched about your heart, guilt and pain that you do not want to let go,”
Yuuji swallowed, wanting to argue, but knowing what the man said was true. There were many things he was fearless and bold about. He could face any curse without a moment of hesitation. When it came to facing the elements, he would continue forward and do all he could to survive, but there was always fear in him. Fear of loss. Fear of letting go. Fear of not being enough.
The fears that held him back from leaving Sukuna’s side for so long even as his fragile world cracked about him. The fear he had carried with him since the monastery burned down that he would end up utterly alone.
Yuuji closed his eyes, bowing his head, his hands clenching against his knees. He remained silent a long moment before he spoke, lifting his head to regard the master monk before him.
“I know I have fear,” he finally said, “But I am also here because I want to, no, need to move past it,” he glanced up then, frowning, eyes set in determination, “I made the first painful break to take the steps to get here, and I’m sure I can take as many more until I can finally step free into this world at last. I’ve set on this path and I don’t intend to give up at the end,”
The old monk nodded, just a hint of a smile on his weathered face, “Then let us see if you can finally let go of your fears,” he said, folding his hands in his lap, “When the weather clears, you will take a final pilgrimage to a holy sight high in the mountains and there, you will meditate and confront every part of you, every emotion. Become the master of them. Embrace them, like birds passing in your life, examine them, and let them go and once they all have been released, when you have achieved what so few can, then, Yuuji, I will train you,”
Yuuji nodded, swallowing hard, “I’ll do it. I want to become a sorcerer and protect the good in this world and guide others to find it too,”
“That is a noble goal, but it means nothing if you cannot save yourself first,”
The monk gave a dip of his head, gesturing towards the warmth of the fire, “For now though, join your companions and prepare yourself. Once the sun arrives against blue skies and the mountain quiets, you will see if you have what it takes to defeat yourself and be reborn,”
Yuuji nodded, bowing his head, “Thank you for the chance to prove myself,”
“You already showed you may have what it takes to become one of the rare guides of this world,” master Bankei said with a smile, “Your intuition and will are without equal, but time will tell if you will truly awaken,”
Yuuji flushed, offering a smile as he gave another bow and a quiet thank you before returning to the others, flopping down to sit next to Nobara who gave a glance to him, “So what did the head of the monastery want?”
“I have to take a personal pilgrimage is all, before I can be considered for formal training,” Yuuji said with a shrug, “I guess I have a few days to prepare, well, at least until the weather is deemed right,”
Megumi pursed his lips, glancing to Yuuji, “Will we all have to take the pilgrimage?”
“No,” Yuuji looked into the fire, “This is for joining the order and all the religious rites and meditation that come with it. I’m sure they will train you to hone your techniques in different ways, but this,” he sighed softly, “This is a very personal journey that has been sacred to the monastery that raised me and to the ideals I’ve pursued all my life,”
“I’m just nervous to have you take this alone, little brother,” Choso said quietly, eyes on the fire, “I don’t think I could afford to lose another sibling,”
“You won’t lose me. I’ll get through this final test,” Yuuji assured, offering a smile and looking to his companions, “I’ll be fine, just wait for me. I’ll come right back,”
But Yuuji worried himself about what this final pilgrimage would look like. It sounded simple enough, but the more simple the instructions, the more difficult the task. All he could do was prepare and try to still the nerves and fearful beat of his heart. He practiced his meditation and control of his breath and thoughts. For hours he would sit, eyes closed in the cold of the hall, letting his fingers touch over the prayer beads, feeling over every mark in their surface, every memory that had been carved into them and into his soul. The sutras and mantras fell from his lips easily from memory, things he had recited a thousand times as he grew up. They had always been a comfort for Yuuji. There was something to be said about the gentle rise and fall of their rhythmic words and the lessons they taught.
Now he wondered if that comfort would be enough to guide him through the trial to come.
It was a good week before the weather cleared and the blue sky emerged, unbroken and breathtaking about the white crowns of the mountains. The tall peaks looked like old masters, crowded around and staring down at Yuuji as he stood at the entrance of the monastery, dressed in simple robes and with nothing but a small pack of basic supplies needed as the hike to the meditation spot was a mere few hours from the monastery. It felt so close, yet Yuuji felt as if he was about to travel thousands of miles away.
“Good luck,” Megumi said quietly, “Don’t freeze your ass off out there,”
Yuuji gave a quiet laugh, “The cold is part of it I think,” He said, offering a smile, “But not even the worse cold I’ve been in,”
“Oh, don’t be acting like you are hot stuff!” Nobara huffed, squishing his cheeks, “Just come back or Choso is going to go wandering off into the mountains to find you and I’m not going to stop him!”
“As if you could stop me if I were to make up my mind to go,” Choso said with a small chuckle as he put a hand on Yuuji’s shoulder, “I trust you to return on your own power though, brother,”
“I plan to,” Yuuji managed out before shaking his head to swat away Nobara’s hands, “Three days. Three days and I must return, that is what has been set before me,”
Nobara nodded, worrying her lip, “Three days and you’ll be back, right?”
“I will,” Yuuji assured, giving a smile before turning towards the path that was his now alone to take, “I always plan to come back,”
Just like he planned to one day go back to Sukuna and speak with him again. That they could sit down, after so long, and simply talk again, like they used to do as children, and lay out everything and come to an understanding again. He would be back one day to settle all debts. That he had already promised himself. There would be no regrets left for him to hold.
Yuuji set off through the snow, feeling the bite all the more without the layers of protection, but he focused internally, letting the cursed energy churn within him to create a radiant heat, a trick he and Sukuna had learned on their meanderings as they had gotten older and more in tune with their energy. Sukuna had been the one always better at it, practically turning himself into a heater in the colder months.
Now Yuuji was alone, having to rely and be confident in his own talents and his ability to stand on his own and move forward. He passed along the narrow path, through the heavy bows of snow heavy pines and over and around the expansive boulders that dominated the landscape. In time, the sound of rushing water began to rise through the silence of the air which let Yuuji know he was close to where he was told to go. He followed that sound as it echoed through the valleys and cliffs as the path came to an end before a breath-taking waterfall. It was small, cascading down as a rivulet over the rocks, spreading out like an elegant fan of white to drop down into the small pool below before whisking off down into a small river that continued crashing down from the high slopes. The area was wreathed in snow and ice, looking so serene, but marked by a deadly cold.
Yuuji regarded it for a moment before he set his pack down to prepare for the ritual. It was the practice of takigyo, of a meditation meant to test the physical and mental endurance, but it was now mixed with a spiritual endurance where he was to enter into trance and confront his very soul. To that end, Yuuji set up the artifacts given to him around little bowls he filled with oil, producing small flames of which he tossed in the prepared talismans, watching them wisp up, drawing more energy to this place. There was one bowl for each direction, placed in a row before the pool the waterfall created. The bowl pointed north though was set a little further part and wreathed reverently with the written mantras as a symbol of new change to come once he finished this pilgrimage.
A whisper of prayers fell from Yuuji’s lips, incantations that were as old as the world and translated over thousands of years to be passed down further and further. All part of a test to free the spirit from the limits of flesh and become fully connected to body and mind.
Once the incantations were said, Yuuji rose to his feet and began to strip down to only his undergarment, feeling the chill of the air against his skin. He folded and set his clothes aside in a place they would remain dry next to his pack before he took a deep breath, and waded into the water. The cold was a shock to his system and he began to shiver, closing his eyes to focus less on the cold and more on the flow of his energy, letting it shift through him faster and create heat. He waded to his waist in the cold water until he could pull himself up on the rocks to put himself under the frigid cascade of the water fall. He shivered as he sat placidly below its cold torrent and took up the proper form for meditation.
He could feel the biting cold, numbing his skin and the churn of cursed energy that would defend him from become a victim of that chill. That circulation of energy would have to be maintained, even as he battled his very soul. It was a test of mastery and will over his own energy, just part of this final pilgrimage on the path to enlightenment. Yuuji took a breath, closing his eyes, prayer beads in hand, and began the usual chants, even though the words were lost in the roar of the water around him. It felt like they echoed in his mind as his numb fingers rubbed over each worn bead.
Yuuji meditated and let his mind fall back into itself, like falling through darkness and let his thoughts rush free around him like birds set lose. They swirled around him, bringing to mind so many faces in his life, from his grandfather and the village, to the elder, to the monks and master Baso. To the gentle Sukuna of his youth, to the cold young man he had grown into with a hatred of the world. To the scared pup Ahoto who had become a stalwart companion who never failed to wag his tail. He thought of Choso, a brother adopted in tragedy and a bond formed tight in defiance of that grief. There was Megumi, so despaired and lost in his own griefs and ready to give up on a life who had found a reason to live, and Nobara, adrift and looking for some anchor, only to find the strength to pull herself ashore. So many faces over so many years.
In those faces was his own, a wide-eyed child grown into a lost young man.
Seeing his own face though, blurry and unformed, he could only wonder who was he now?
That question thundered into Yuuji’s head as his consciousness fell further into the darkness, adrift, without senses. Numbed to all the world.
Who was Itadori Yuuji?
It felt like a question that was asked to him before all the gods and spirits of the world as he sat in the palm of something greater than himself, like a flowing force of the world that was just within reach of his heavy limbs. He felt like he stood there, unable to breath, unable to grasp onto a thought, confronted with something that he was trying to comprehend but it would never be fully understood. It hurt. It hurt deep in his chest. A weight like chains wrapped so tight about his body, wanting to drag him down.
Fear.
Fear of loss. Fear of not being to hold onto everyone and save them. And the fear of that question that he found he could not answer as he sunk, dragged ever downwards.
Who was he? Who was Itadori Yuuji?
“Just a brat,” A voice murmured against his ear, a hand about his throat, squeezing tight to keep him from breathing, from speaking, “A brat that is nothing without me. I’m always the one that had to take care of you. You were always holding out for my hand. In the end, where would you be without me?”
“A child that needs to be taught a lesson about indulgence,” someone else said softly, another hand about his throat, “Too naive and needs to learn well this world can be cruel,”
“A little whore,” a low purr of a voice said at the back of his neck with breath reeking of alcohol, “That needs to learn his place is on his knees serving his betters,”
“A criminal,” someone hissed, “Always telling lies, stealing to survive, justifying all his crimes,”
“My lover, who will never leave me to be alone again,” that first voice murmured, so soft, so desperate, “You’ll always be mine to cling to, to do what I need you to do. Always mine,”
“My brother-”
“My friend-”
“My guide-”
“My adoration-”
My salvation-”
“My hate-”
“My destruction-”
“And which of these is true of what you are, Itadori Yuuji? And which face is yours?”
Yuuji was choking, hands grasping at him, his breath lost in the weight, in the fear, in the desperate want and desire to be everything for everyone. How he would break himself apart a thousand times over and over and over, give up his humanity, become an object, become an idea, a think, a curse, a-
“I’m not any of that,”
The words came from his lips, soft, a nervous whisper that halted the whole world even as the hands over his throat tightened, and yet he found breath to scream, to finally struggle again.
“I’m not any of that!”
It was like something inside him opened. The world returning, stretched out before him in all those landscapes. He was in the storm, a drop in the ocean tossed around in the flashes of lighting and the grain of sands cast up upon deserts and over mountain peaks. The snow and cold that torment and brought with it the melt that would bring every new growth. He was stretched out in every new facet, destroyed in every fire. Reborn again and again to be a hundred different things, a hundred faces without names. His soul was screaming, not in rage, but in relief, reaching for nothing.
Only letting go and holding out his hands to every feeling, every thought, every memory that haunted him.
He sat with his grandfather as the old man died, knowing there was nothing he could have done. He had done enough. He had watched his last family pass away quietly and the smile on his grandfather’s face as he found peace. He let go of that grief, content with it. He let it pass.
To the villagers who had given him to the elder and to the monastery, the kernel of resentment turned to understanding, to knowing their fears and knowing they did what they thought was best. To the kindness they could share in that moment, however small it was.
For a moment, Yuuji let his soul sit among all those that died in the monastery that horrible day, and he forgave himself for their deaths. He was too young to have done anything. Such tragedy happened and it was no part of his doing. Life was suffering. It was tragedy. It came for everyone in so many shapes and forms, bu those tragedies, were not his fault. Not his burden to carry. He felt that memory pass away, painful, accepted, and finally allowed to fly free, like a swarm of birds passing away along with all the other dead he had tended to. His kindness was enough.
There was the innkeeper and the noble who had done such unspeakable things to him and the anger was hot in Yuuji’s chest. The pain and terror of that moment, so helpless and pinned, sobbing and begging, fingers dug against sheets. Such terror that had haunted Yuuji for so long, he turned it over, examining it from afar, feeling it all over again. How that moment had hurt and made him feel dirty. He had wanted to die so many times, caught up in the sadness and misery of that night. It hung about his neck like a noose, used to strangle out any argument. Yuuji lifted both hands to the rough feelings of those horrible memories, letting his fingers touch that nose and he finally took it off. He let it drop away, finally coming to his own understandings.
He could move on.
It wasn’t Yuuji who should feel guilty for what they did. He could do nothing more now about it, except try and make sure such things never happened to someone else. These were lessons and in his heart, he had long since made peace with what happened. Those actions, those scars left, only shaping him, but never defining him.
The villagers who showed him kindness and the gentle goodness of the world, but who taught him love was always conditional. Love was created in kindness, but love never overcame tragedy which came again and again. The death of those people. The death of so many after. The storm that took Choso’s brothers away. All those tragedies, Yuuji held tight with guilt, he finally let them go.
It wasn’t his fault. He could have done a hundred things, but ultimately he could not control the forces of the world nor the actions of people. He could not control the actions of one.
Sukuna.
Sukuna he held so tightly to his heart for so long, it was hard to tell where he ended and the other began. How close they were, like two parts of an ever moving half, always striving to cling to the other. He had clung to Sukuna for strength and support, desperate to be shielded from the world, and in turn, Sukuna clung to him, wanting to feel love and wanted, to be told he had purpose in this world other than to be hated. Yuuji could feel Sukuna so close, arms still wrapped about him, lips pressed to his neck, the soft whispers and dreams they had shared for so long. He knew a gentle Sukuna, his lover, the one person who understood him so well and knew his every secret, and yet he also knew the darker Sukuna, the one that was always there, twisting everything to fit his design of the world.
Yuuji wanted to cling to him still, his own arms wrapped tight about Sukuna as if he could save him.
Maybe though, it was too late for that in this lifetime. Not yet the right time.
He clung, sobbing, to the one person he loved more than anything, confronted with so many truths he had tried to ignore. All the guilt he held that he had been responsible for what Sukuna had become. His grip tightened before finally, at last, he began to ease that grip.
It was so hard, so painful, to let go. The guilt had never left Yuuji when he had finally left Sukuna and it felt like it would always eat at him. A thousand times he had thought of what could have become of Sukuna, but he knew whatever awaited him when they met again, would be someone new, someone unrecognizable. Both of them had headed north in separate directions but eventually they would meet again and whatever they became was no fault of the other.
They had changed so much and Yuuji stood there in that burning monastery, hand clenched about that little boy staring in shock, unable to move, four eyes staring at Yuuji as the world burned. Yuuji could hear himself screaming, trying to get Sukuna to move, tugging so hard, and yet Sukuna stood still.
He stood, taller than Yuuji, grinning at it all, no longer a boy, but a man, grown right into the destruction that had taken away so much. The hand on Yuuji’s digging into skin, ready to do harm if it meant he could keep Yuuji forever bound to him.
Yuuji wanted to much to pull him away. He felt the tears on his cheek before he turned away. He turned away and he let go.
And the weight on his chest finally lightened as he let go of a hand of the one he loved, letting him go to become what he would. Because Sukuna did not define him, not anymore. Just as much as he could not try and shape Sukuna to be what he wanted, the reverse was true.
The fire, the young boy, the monster, the lover, everything Yuuji had thought was so central to his world, he let go of and set himself adrift into the world.
Fearless at last.
“Who are you?”
The same question from before echoed in the darkness that Yuuji found himself floating in, at peace, the last bird of his past finally set free to fly away.
Now though he knew the answer to that question. It came so easily now, echoing gently in his mind.
“I can only be myself and I am nothing at all, but everything at once,”
In that moment, it felt like something awakened in Yuuji. He felt lighter as he opened his eyes. He could feel the cold as a distant thing, the rush of water still in his ears and the world spread out before him like he could finally see all of it and feel every breath of life to enjoy. A laugh rasped out of him and he found himself leaning back, letting the water fall over his face, feeling it, savoring it, reminded he was alive.
Alive. Human. Free to be a part of this world. All the suffering and guilt, just so temporary a thing. Not like the feelings of contentment and focus he felt now. It was like the world finally gave him permission to simply live and be content with what little joys he found.
He laughed as if he was a man finally set free into the world.
Yuuji rose to his feet then and hopped into the pool with a splash, laughing still, like a little child as he made his way to the land, rushing off to the edge of rocks to look out over the expansive mountains, the snow, the sky, the clouds. He stared at it all as if seeing it all for the first time and as a memory all at once. His chest burned, bursting as he sucked in a breath and let out a scream. In that primal call, he let out everything and just feel the burn of it as it escaped into the air.
Enjoy that he could enjoy this world and help others to find it too.
Happiness. Contented. Untroubled and unteathered after all he had carried with him for so long.
Alive. Alive to be here, alone or with others, but here. In the present.
He sat down upon that rock, trying to regain his breath and feeling like the child he had once been had returned, holding hands with who he was now, and he was reaching forward, already eager to clasp onto the hand of who he would be. The future, if it ended tomorrow or years away, Yuuji found himself content with whatever it would bring. Death was nothing to be feared and only a gentle thrill as to what would come beyond that, be it a thousand reincarnations or becoming part of the greater universe in other ways.
This enlightenment was overwhelming and inspiring all at once and it felt like his soul, his mind, and body had settled into one mold. Such an elation, he wished so many others could find it too and in that thought, he knew he wanted to help other see all this. Understand all this. Deal with the complexity of being alive and find their peace so that their end could come quietly and without any regret.
Yuuji smiled, staring out over the world, shivering, but so warm. Fearless for the first time in his life.
He took his time to dress himself again and gather his things before heading down the path back to the monastery. There was no rush to get back, no urgency. True he was eager to see his friends and his adopted brother, but in time he would see them. He would see them and cherish them all, enjoy every moment with them and accept their temporary part in his life. He loved them without question, but understood so clearly how to love was to learn to accept loss in the same breath.
For however long they walked together, he would love them, without question. He would morn their passing, but never stop carrying them gently in his heart.
Such was his path now.
He came into sight of the monastery, a smile splitting his face and he found himself rushing forward, already hearing the excited yells from Nobara as she ran towards him. Megumi smiling as he rose from where he had been seated. Choso followed after Nobara, raising a holler of his own to see his brother, face bright with relief. Yuuji couldn’t help a laugh, pulling Nobara tight into a hug, swinging her up off the ground as she clung onto him. Of Choso wrapping his arms around both of them, laughing. Megumi coming over to ruffle his hair. That warmth of love, perhaps conditional, perhaps unconditional, but so powerful, so destructive. So elegantly beautiful and burning in a way that no human experience could ever truly hold onto, but it was a feeling that was so alive, painful and a reminder of what joy could always be found.
Tight within the arms of those that trusted him to be the light that showed the way forward, even when the whole world seemed to bleak.
There was still good, the good Yuuji could always see and wouldn’t lose sight of, no matter what suffering and sorrow.
“You made it back,” Nobara clutched onto him, “We thought you were dead you idiot!”
“I came back, just like I said I would,” Yuuji said with a smile, “Heh, didn’t think you would miss me that much, given how much you yell at me,”
“You stupid idiot,” Nobara murmured, pressing her face to his shoulder, “You know I would be lost and stumbling about without you around to pick a direction to go,”
“I had no doubts you would come back,” Megumi said quietly, offering a smile, “You’re too stubborn to give up,”
Yuuji let out a quiet laugh, leaning back against Choso as he looked about at them, “Maybe, but you lot are too stubborn to let me die on a mountain too,”
“I was about ready to go in a day,” Choso admitted, “Only thing that kept me here was knowing sometimes...sometimes younger brothers have to be given room to grow,”
“Grow,” Yuuji murmured, smiling warmly, “I think that is a good way for what that was. Like an awakening,”
“Is your third eye now wide open?” Nobara teased, wiping tears from her eyes and trying to act like she wasn’t so relieved to see him.
“You could say that yeah,” Yuuji said with a laugh, “Something awakened, that is for sure,”
He looked forward to the monastery where the other residents stood, Nanami with a faint smile as he watched the reunion, and Master Bankei, smiling as well and giving a nod to Yuuji. The young sorcerer monk smiled, giving a final squeeze to Nobara nad pat to Choso and Megumi before he stepped forward, moving to bow before the master sorcerer.
“I’ve finished my pilgrimage and this trial,” he said, “And now I respectfully ask again, will you train me?”
Master Bankei did not hesitate to give a small nod and bow back to Yuuji, “I will train you, but this is only one of many trials to come. Do you still wish to stand ready?”
“I am,”
“Knowing well that this path will set you upon one that will bring suffering? Tragedy?” the old monk asked.
“I am,” Yuuji said without hesitation, calm, serene almost as the thought of such things, were as always, temporary. Small moments. Brief black flashes of lightning across the landscape of his life.
“Take the time to rest today and tomorrow. Your training will start the day after,” Master Bankei said.
Yuuji breathed out a soft relief, smiling as he lowered his head again, “Thank you master Bankei. I look forward to your teachings,”
That child inside Yuuji was bursting with excitement to be finally grasping onto his dream of becoming the master sorcerer he had dreamed of being. He felt at ease, content, and ready to finally face everything and see if there was any real limit to the potential he had inside.
The world was open before Yuuji, every path his to walk, and he was more than ready to walk every single one with those he held dear or to walk alone with only their warmth to guide him. Yuuji was content.
He was never alone, never to despair.
He was free to live his life as quietly or as loudly as he wished. He was free to be whoever he was and everything he could be.
-----
The cities were all starting to look the same to Sukuna. The same buildings, the same streets, the same markets and noble homes, and the same misery that stank in the gutters and ditches. It was probably why he didn’t bother to learn the name of the places he went anymore. The same wretched places wearing different names as if they had anything different to offer other than the same pathetic little promises of being able to live. That of course, was the greatest lie of the universe, that everyone was given the chance to live with dignity.
The reality was most would suffer, die miserable, and wrap themselves tight in regret. Really, it was a mercy that Sukuna brought to these places when he cleared the streets of the screaming crowds with a few flicks of his fingers. He released these sorry souls from this monotony, drove them before him like cattle finally realizing the slaughter hanging over their heads.
And he adored absolutely every minute of their final moments of terror as they ran before him, allowing them at least the choice to run before he cut them apart.
“This crowd was rather noisy,” Uraume commented with a disdainful sniff, “So much screaming,”
“Well, they were rather attached to the hope those emperor sent sorcerers that came to protect them would do just that,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “Hope breeds a special kind of terror when it is completely destroyed. Some pathetic fools can’t face the reality of how fragile their lives are and how disillusioned hope made them,”
Uraume gave a nod, folding their hands into their robe as they trailed beside him, “They should have just went quietly and with some dignity. Screaming like children, it is rather shameful to do before their betters,”
Sukuna chuckled, giving a shrug, “You can’t expect flies to know how to do anything but buzz I suppose,”
He moved along the street casually and with no rush in his step, well aware of eyes on him as those survivors from the street huddled in their homes like that would protect them. It was so easily that humans turned to frightened animals when cornered. If he asked, no doubt they would give him anything. How many times had he asked parents to slaughter children to save their own necks? Lovers to abandon each other in a fight to the death where the winner could go free? Of friends to point out which of their dear companions deserved to die the most? Sukuna could laugh at how many times now as he took his pleasure in the spectacle of just how fragile humanity’s bonds were.
The only bond that was enduring were those forged of submission, compliance, admiration, and servitude. Sukuna walked with only Uraume by his side, now his ever loyal shadow, molded into the perfect servant to carry out any whim of pleasure he desired. A companion he could speak casually to, almost akin to a friendship, but both knowing full well their relationship endured at Sukuna’s whim alone. There would no doubt come a time when Sukuna would grow bored of Uraume’s company and the young monk knew that. Yet they remained, tied so much to Sukuna, chained so tightly, eagerly, like they were now an extension of his soul.
Forever loyal and would smile and kneel, going to their end quietly when their dear lord would eventually behead them when their part in his life became unnecessary.
It brought a pleased, relax smile to Sukuna’s face as he continue to walk down the street, careless of the corpses he stepped through.
“For howl entertaining all this is, I really feel like the emperor is not taking me very seriously yet,” Sukuna commented with a sigh, rubbing his chin, “I almost feel like he’s neglecting me sending such weak sorcerers to bother me,”
“No doubt the Fujiwara clan is more to blame. I’m sure they whisper soothingly into the emperor’s ear that you are a threat they can contain,” Uraume said with a frown, “No doubt they will continue to throw fools at you looking to earn a name before any of their precious generals,”
Sukuna shook his head, rolling his eyes, “Clearly he cares so very much for these aimless animals he calls subjects,”
He turned his attention, glancing to a house with a smirk as the terrified residents cowered back as he passed, eyes wide with fear. No doubt they put so much faith in their emperor sending someone to defend them, not realizing how weak their beloved ruler was. It had Sukuna wanting to laugh, but instead he showed those staring eyes mercy by raising two fingers, cleaving through them and the house.
Uraume didn’t even bat an eye, caring little now for the carnage and choked screams, “Maybe if he cared, he would find some sorcerers with talent and means to be some entertainment. It truly irritates me that you have to busy yourself with such weak simpletons,”
“Mm, but the weak ones tend to taste better. Tender I suppose. No hard muscles, like pampered cows,” Sukuna said with a lazy grin both on his face and stomach, “So at least it is easy meat,”
The streets were now empty before him and it was easy enough to come to the city center, once probably brimming with people and the usual, dull day to day murmurs of life. Now it was as silent as a graveyard and littered with just as many dead. Not even the vermin dared to cross Sukuna’s path as he came to the dirty fountain, remembering in his youth how such a place had been the only place to go to get some water to bath at times and how the locals would chase him and the other urchins off.
All for some pathetic, dirty water that was barely of use but looked nice to decorate.
Sukuna shook his head, crossing all four arms, “But I will admit I’m growing bored of would be heroes,” he drawled as he idly flicked at the surface of the water, sending the insects there skittering off, “Those fools are the worse,”
It was hard to miss the surge of curse energy at his back, despite no doubt the sorcerers behind them trying so carefully to sneak up on him. Sukuna just casually glanced over his shoulder, his look unimpressed as he saw the three sorcerers standing there. All three were young, expressions set in one of determination mixed with fear. It was a wonder any of them actually thought to stand against him with how their legs trembled.
Glory hunting fools and not worth his time to deal with, but he was a merciful king. He at least always gave them a chance to crawl away.
“I’ll give you three one chance to run as I count to ten and if you manage to get out of my sight, I won’t cut you apart,” Sukuna drawled, “And that is being generous after you probably saw how I carved up those idiots outside the city telling me I couldn’t enter,”
“We won’t be intimidated!” one of the trio stammered, a man who’s voice was cracking with his every word, showing his young age.
“We will honor our family and order by taking you out, no matter the cost!” The second one yelled, gripping onto his sword, “We of the Abe clan won’t be easy prey!”
Uruame frowned, glaring at the trio with contempt as they stepped forward, “Let me handle this my lord. This trio of idiots aren’t even worth you giving them a passing glance,”
Sukuna chuckled, shaking his head, “No, I am a man of my word Uraume. I’ll give them ten seconds to run, but if they don’t, well, it would be a shame not to demonstrate to them the consequences of pride, yes?”
His servant let out a sigh and a roll of their eyes, but they bowed and stepped back, “Whatever pleases you, my lord, but I don’t think they will much appreciate your generosity or your lessons,”
“That is the problem with young sorcerers today, isn’t it?” Sukuna cracked his knuckles, eyes narrowing as a vicious smirk touched his lips, “All of them are so self-righteous and believe so much in their moral high ground. Just a waste of flesh,”
As soon as Sukuna took a step forward, the three sprung to him, their weapons raised, eyes burning with the want to bring him down. It want was all it took to receive what the heart desperately wanted, Sukuna was sure he would not have any need for Uraume at his side, as there would have been someone else, someone dearer, someone whom he would trust every part of himself with, at his side today.
But he stood alone, ascending to the very top of the heap of bones this world created for the strong to walk upon, and grinned wickedly at these sorcerers, these children, sent to die for nothing.
“Ten,”
The first one tried to struck and he ducked away, barely moving, turning as the second hit came from the other side.
“Nine,”
The one with the sword swung almost aimlessly, shouting as he let energy shoot out along the blade, aiming for Sukuna’s heart. The four-armed man could have laughed at such an action. There was nothing left there to harm. There hadn’t been for a long time.
“Eight,”
Sukuna had to barely move to keep away from their attacks, barely having to even move save a few shuffles here and there. Even as one stepped back to unleash a surge of cursed energy at him, like a rolling wave of shadows, he almost casually stepped away, the smirk never leaving his lips.
“Seven,”
One of them let out a scream, unleashing a swarm of biting insects which had Sukuna almost sighing as he took a few steps back as their other companion launched an attack at the same time. The two surging waves of energy did not hit him, but each other, canceling out their fruitless attack in such an embarrassing manner. Their uncoordinated, desperate attack was just that pathetic and self sabotaging.
“Six,”
There was a hint of desperation in the air now. The three throwing every attack they could at him, eager for a hit, any sign of blood as Sukuna just watched them, his grin growing as he drank in their wild expressions, savoring it.
“Five,”
The one with a sword got close to hitting Sukuna. The blade cut forward, but only managed a small tear against Sukuna’s kimono. A minor and laughable thing, but that little bit of forward momentum was enough to bring a single kernel of hope to the eyes of the trio.
“Four,”
They were fighting hard, perhaps thinking that cutting cloth was as good as cutting flesh. The hope was making them even more erratic, even more open to mistakes.
“Three,”
Sukuna could practically licks his lips as he already had planned how to end this fight.
“Two,”
The three came charging at him all at once, as if a combined effort at this point would be more than enough.
“One,”
Their final attack came and was met by only air and for a second they stood in confused disbelief before Sukuna was behind them and finally he moved for an attack. He didn’t bother with his technique as that truly was a waste of his time and energy. Especially when he was more hungry than irritated at this point.
Sukuna grasped onto the wrist of the one holding the sword, cracking the wrist back enough to force his opponent to drop his weapon. The youth screamed, eyes wide just before his sword was impaled through him and then with unnerving strength, Sukuna pushed the blade into the other two. All three were screaming, skewered on the same blade as Sukuna lifted it up, admiring how they squirmed and writhed. He grinned, all four eyes widening and the mouth on his stomach opening wide in hungry delight.
His mouth closed down about them tearing them from the sword as one would tear roasted fish from a spit. They screamed right up until teeth grounded against necks and skulls, crunching them in bloody spatter. Only one fell away from the carnage missing their legs, sobbing, eyes wide in a blind, animal terror as they turned to try and crawl away. Sukuna sighed, easily catching up to the sorcerer and put his foot painfully down on their spine, cracking it.
“Uraume tells me I really shouldn’t play with my food,” He commented, “And I guess you three caught me when I had a bit of an appetite,”
“You’re a monster,” the sorcerer choked out, even as the life in their eyes began to fade away as they bled out from their severed legs.
“Been called that a lot. Been called worse,” Sukuna gave a shrug before reaching forward to put a hand to the skull, “And I still can’t find it in myself to care anymore,”
He crushed their skull, satisfied in how the bone splintered like delicate pottery. Sukuna stood up and brought his bloody hand to his mouth, licking off the stray gore with little care before turning back to Uraume with a smirk.
The monk gave a tilt of their head, a small smirk of their own on their lips, “Did you have fun?”
“A little,” Sukuna admitted, “More they served a better purpose than a boring fight at least,”
“A little scrawny though. I will have to make a more filling meal once we decide where to rest tonight,” Uraume said with a shrug.
Sukuna chuckled, “A little scrawny,” He agreed, “But that is the least of my concerns. I think a nice bath is in order now. Come, let’s find a proper inn to visit,”
Uraume gave a nod, falling into step beside Sukuna as they continued on their way, walking past shops, all closed and boarded up by the scared merchants within. No doubt the inns would be just as boarded up, but Sukuna cared little. He could force the issue as he pleased and he was still debating staying in this city or heading out to the hot springs that were said to dot the area. As he walked though, the sight of a storefront that was open and a person standing outside the door caught his attention.
It was the first time someone stood before him without the pathetic desire to cut him down.
Sukuna slowed his pace, pausing before the door of the one shop with doors open. The proprietor of the shop stood there, watching with fascinated awe, like a scholar beholding some new topic to study. The face of the man was familiar to Sukuna as he had seen it before.
A face he remembered from a long time ago in his youth that had him smirking, crossing his arms as he eyed the merchant.
“Ah, the candy man,” Sukuna drawled, “Still shelling out poison to street urchins?”
The merchant cocked his head, a lazy smirk on his lips, at ease despite the obvious danger Sukuna posed. It was a confident that at least held Sukuna’s attention for now.
“Business is business,” the man said with a shrug, “And I have my own studies to make, curiosities to create, and things to observe. No one wanted their lives anyways, but at least I saw some purpose in them,”
“And what purpose is that?” Sukuna asked.
The man gave a shrug, eyes gleaming a bit as he folded his hands into the sleeves of his kimono, “To achieve the goals I put out before myself,” he said simply, “And, of course, to know a potential ally when I see one,”
That had Sukuna laughing, “An ally? That is a new one! And what will you court me with? Pretty lies and promises? Gold and fortune? Women and sex?”
“I don’t think you truly care for any of that and really, with someone who holds such disdain for life like you do, that isn’t what holds my attention,” The man cocked his head, “Really, it makes me almost ache that I could have studied you closer when you were young, I could sense something so different in you and that other youth,”
That gave the shop owner pause, casting a look about, “Which now I’m curious, what happened to your darling little companion?”
Sukuna snorted, eyes narrowed, “The other one is long dead,” he sad flatly, “And I’m not one to give myself up for your study as it seems you prefer your subjects dead,”
“The dead tell more with less protest is all,” the man shrugged, “But I have my ways of helping you achieve your own goals, I assure you, if you help me with my research in other ways,”
Uraume pursed their lips, eyes narrowed, “You should get to the point. My lord’s time is precious and you are wasting it,”
The man chuckled, giving a bow of his head, “Well, I’ll introduce myself as Kenjaku and I’m simply a sorcerer fascinated with the study of sorcery and the many shapes it takes. I simply say that my work runs parallel to your own work, so what point is there for us to quarrel? If you have some goal, I am sure I can help in return for your assistance,”
Sukuna gave a tilt of his head, regarding Kenjaku before he gave a snort, smirking a touch, “Well, you certainly have more gull than most,” he commented, “Fine then. If I say I wished to go to the capitol to visit my dear family in the Emperor’s palace, would you assist me?”
“I certainly could,” Kenjaku said, rubbing his chin, “I know the palace well enough having served there a time under a different guise,”
“So you know the palace layout,”
Kenjaku nodded, “Very well indeed and I can share it for an agreement,”
“You should be blessed that my lord has not separated your head from your neck and lets you live,” Uraume growled.
Sukuna raised a hand, smirking a touch, “Calm Uraume, he wants to make a vow, then let’s make one. What is it you want, old poisoner?”
Kenjaku gave a small smile, dark eyes gleaming, “I would like a vial of your blood, thick with your cursed energy,” he said simply, “I cannot study you, but ah, you had a twin at one point yes? I could pull that wayward soul if I have a medium to assist me,”
There was a slight tension in Sukuna as he regarded Kenjaku, a slight narrowing of the eyes, “That is not knowledge that is well known,” he said slowly, raising one hand, “Care to explain how you know?”
Kenjaku smirked, lifting his hand to his head, “I wear many faces and at one time, I wore the face of the Emperor’s close confident. Just a simple messenger he kept close and trusted with certain mm… family secrets,”
Sukuna’s eyes widened just a touch as the head was lifted up, showing a disgusting brain grinning at him. It had him lowering his hand, almost curious before he gave a smirk, an amused look crossing his features, “I see then. So you know about the circumstances of my birth,”
“More or less, and well, curious to learn more and content to play my part in whatever plans you have,” Kenjaku said with a shrug, “As I don’t see it interfering with anything I have planned and perhaps I can fill in some of the blanks you have about the past,”
Sukuna regarded Kenjaku carefully. He wasn’t a fool, he could tell there was so much more that Kenjaku wasn’t saying, parts to the story the sorcerer knew about but was keeping to himself. It was more than clear that this Kenjaku was cunning and that made him dangerous, yes, but not to Sukuna. Kenjaku didn’t want a fight if it was easy to bargain for what he wanted and to work with someone.
Allies as he said. Just useful to each other for however long necessary.
A smirk touched Sukuna’s lips, feral and wide, “Fine. You help me with my little family reunion and I will give you what you want when all is concluded,”
“Make a vow on it,”
Sukuna chuckled, leaning in, eyes narrowed, “I vow it,”
Kenjaku gave a chuckle, “Then it is settled. When are you planning your little reunion,”
“Soon. I’m in no rush,” Sukuna said stepping back, “I’ll make my way to the capitol in due time. I will send Uraume to fetch you once I feel heh, emotionally ready?”
It was more he wanted to make the emperor squirm while still feeling safe, never expecting that Sukuna would make a move against him. He wanted the bastard to continue to think he was out of reach and build his lies and hopes that he would avoid ever seeing the face of the spawn he cast aside. No, Sukuna was content to take his time with this and allow himself to take his pleasures in the torment of the countryside and let them worship him as a god to appease.
Let the emperor think he was still out of reach. Then he would take everything from him.
Kenjaku gave a hum and a nod, “Very well. I’ll wait then for your sign,”
Sukuna gave a nod of his own, stretching some before turning and starting to move down the street, raising a hand gesturing for Uraume to follow, “Come. I am growing tired of this city. We’ll find a place to settle in the next one,”
“Of course my lord,” Uraume said curtly, falling into step beside him, “Although, if I may, why did you even bother with such a vow?”
“Curiosity I suppose. Something interesting at least,” Sukuna admitted giving a glance behind to watch Kenjaku enter back into his shop, “And if he can do as he says, then he is useful alive for what I want to achieve,”
Uraume tilted their head, “And what is that?”
“To prove to this whole world there is no such thing as love, only the illusion they have created to try and deny themselves the pleasure of this world under its insanity,” Sukuna said with a shrug.
That, above all else was what Sukuna wanted the whole world to see. He wanted to force them all to look at love, at hope, at all these foolish feelings and understand how it caused only suffering and it was his path, one without a care for morals, laws, or rules, that granted complete freedom and bliss. He was their nirvana, if they would open their eyes. Life would become simple and they wouldn’t have to suffer in this pathetic world.
They could have it all if they simply ripped it free from others.
For now though, he was more keen on a bath for although there was a beauty in blood and the taste of it, the tacky feeling it clinging to clothes and skin and the smell of it as it aged was far from appealing. A nice hot spring would do the body wonders and Sukuna wondered if one was nearby as he exited the city with Uraume at his side. He found himself often focusing on those simple pleasures in life than mulling over the past.
The past was a dead thing after all and filled with dead faces he did not want to recall.
“I have heard there are springs closer to the next village on our path,” Uraume said, giving a glance to him, “It will be restful at least and give me time to make you a proper meal,”
“Ah, it will come when it comes, and if not, always ways to force our way,” Sukuna said with a lazy chuckle, “After all-”
The powerful sorcerer paused, his next thought dying as his eyes fixed to the road ahead of them and to the two figures casually approaching them.
Even from here, Sukuna could sense the two were sorcerers and a disdainful scowl touched his lips. Of course he should have expected more sorcerers coming to pester him, such was his life now as his reputation grew and word of his crimes spread like wildfire. What he wasn’t expecting was seeing someone familiar to him, although it had been many years since he had last seen the white-haired sorcerer in front of him. Not since they were both young, and never once in person.
The arrogance all but oozed off the white-haired sorcerer. He wore it about his shoulders like a proud mark. That pride gleamed in those unnaturally bright blue eyes and confident grin. The sorcerer walked with the swagger of someone who had yet to be denied anything in life, hands behind his head as if he was just taking a casual stroll, and Sukuna found himself holding nothing but contempt for him. Next to him walked a black-haired man of fair features and a frown on his face, less than enthused, far more wary as he eyed up both Uraume and Sukuna. However that same quiet confidence clung to him, as if he was assure already of their victory. It was a calm sort of energy that swirled about the two sorcerers, not the fear ridden desperation of the last group.
Not to mention Sukuna could sense they had more cursed energy about them which meant that least they were more powerful, however, he was not too confident on their actual skill in combat. After all, when had Gojo Satoru ever had to lift a hand to do even his own laundry, lying in the lap of luxury, the little darling of the emperor who would marry into the royal family?
Sukuna came to a halt, crossing all four arms over his chest, regarding the two, “I’m not in the mood for a fight, if that is what you are here for,” he drawled, “So if you are going to waste my time like the last few sorry lot of sorcerers, I’m not going to play games this time,”
“Good! Because I want to have an actual fight today!” Gojo declared, giving a wide smirk, “Geto Suguru here and I have been bored out of our minds, but heard some high on his horse belly-button philosopher of a sorcerer was raising hell nearby! How could we not resist?”
Sukuna scowled even more, not caring much for how loud Gojo was, eyes narrowing and wishing that he he had just struck out at him when they were both boys when he saw him pass by in that parade. This obnoxious youth being in line for the throne at all had something in him twisting with a long buried hate that was more than eager to come out now.
“We don’t want to get any civilians hurt, so we simply waited for you out here,” Geto said, eyes narrowed a touch, exchanging glares with Uraume who was all but bristling at Sukuna’s side, “But they told us a sorcerer was here, but I see someone that is more curse than human,”
Sukuna chuckled, putting a hand mockingly over his heart, “Oh, you offend me with such words!” He said, “Trying to strike me to the core with such terribly hurtful insults!”
“Hah! Why bother with insults when they probably go over the head of some country bumpkin sorcerer who probably can’t read or write his own name!” Gojo jeered, as he lowered his arms, rolling his shoulders, “What talent could you possibly have as a sorcerer, untrained and wandering about the countryside terrorizing some farmers and bandits,”
“You should watch your tongue,” Uraume snarled, taking a step forward, “My lord-”
“Oh? He’s a lord? What’s next? Going to call himself king?” Gojo retorted, “Someone’s got a big head!”
Geto sighed, giving a roll of his eye as he kept close to Gojo’s side, “You mean you?”
“Hey, I have actual talent to back up my claims!”
Sukuna just smiled, a thin, vicious thing as he kept his posture relaxed, watching the two sorcerers come to a halt a few feet away. He moved to put a hand on Uraume’s shoulder, making a tsking sound, “Leave these two to me Uraume. I don’t want you to rough up your hands before you make dinner,”
Uraume frowned, biting their tongue, trembling before they let out a sigh, bowing their head, “If you wish, my lord,”
It made Sukuna smirk, knowing if he willed it, Uraume would spring forward to take out these two pests, but it was unneeded. Sukuna wanted to slaughter the two with his own hands. He wanted to cut Gojo apart, keeping him alive just along enough to let him watch him devour his companion agonizingly slowly. He wanted to drink in how quickly Gojo no doubt would crumble when confronted with the reality of his short-comings.
Thus Sukuna stepped forward, spreading out all four arms, cocking his head, “So! A country bumpkin am I? A brainless fool that just throws his power around?” He mocked, “Well then, how about you test for yourself, you pair of pampered palace fools and sons of concubines and whores. I’m waiting!”
Gojo’s smile was a touch strained, more a sneer as he leaned forward, “Hah? You want to put that past me again, four-armed beetle?”
Sukuna just rolled his eyes, “How about you actually fight rather than run your mouth? You gape it open like a fish that needs to be chopped up,”
“Well now Geto, you ready to give this bastard a piece of our minds?” Gojo drawled.
Geto gave a smile, taking a fighting stance, “With pleasure,”
Sukuna kept his gaze fixed on them as they darted forward and he could tell right away they were more skilled than the rest o the rabbles he carved a path through. They had more years of training under their belt, more practice with their cursed techniques, but he could see the flaws already. Gojo was reckless, releasing strong attacks and any hit that came near him seemed to be repelled by finite control of his cursed energy, yet at the same time, the skills were not entirely mastered.
More like a sudden blast of wind that came with all its strength all at once before fading into a gasp. It was clear Gojo had not quiet learned to howl like a true storm just yet, no doubt too prideful to actually take the time to hone his technique when his enemies were so much more weaker.
Geto, on the other hand, had more control, but also fought with more caution, summoning up curses that seemed to be under his control to come from all angles to try and corner Sukuna. It was a good strategy, but it was clearly born from a strategy of dealing with sorcerers who probably did not match up to the skills they had. Which showed they had not actually taken care to understand just who they faced. They pinned him as something easy to contend with in comparison to their skills.
Something Sukuna was more than happy to correctly quickly.
Geto’s eyes widened as his curses were torn through effortlessly by a series of quick slash, barely getting out of the way as a powerful one carved across the earth towards him. Gojo ducked in then, coming from Sukuna’s left only to be forced to move away as another series of slash came up around them. Sukuna gave a chuckle, watching as both of them were staring more at him, that slow realization sinking in that their opponents was not some mere sorcerer, self-trained and sloppy, but someone who knew how to use his technique.
After all, Sukuna had learned the basics at a tender age from the greatest of warrior monks and spent years honing it with hate for years, fighting for his survival, developing it in leaps and bounds to become the precise and glorious killing tool he needed. While they lounged and grew up in luxury, Sukuna had grown protecting one single soul.
A soul now dead, leaving him with nothing to do with his technique now but see to it the world burned.
“Where is all that confidence from before?” Sukuna jeered as he let lose another volley, coming in close, slamming a hard hit against Gojo to send him flying before he could engage his technique, “I thought I would be easy pickings for someone as high as you? Just a bumpkin right?”
Gojo got back to his feet, gritting his teeth as he glared, bringing his hands up, “You are nothing! Just some fucking murderer!”
“Is it really murder if it is a mercy?” Sukuna asked with a laugh, “You act like these pathetic people were living content lives in the squalor you bestowed upon them! That they enjoy the starvation, the disease, and the threat of death you hang over them to live above them!”
He could see the fury in Gojo’s blue eyes as he lifted his hand, making a hand signal as a burst of energy, swirling blue and red, sometimes a shade of purple as if he was trying to merge the two into a new ability, “And what would you know about all this or who wants to live or die!?”
Sukuna gave a grin, bracing himself, “More than a pampered, clueless, son of a whore would know,”
He charged towards Gojo, sweeping a series of slashes at him. For his part, Gojo did his best to keep his footing, ducking and weaving, but he didn’t have yet the skills to maintain his concentration while holding onto that deadly burst of curse energy. He let it go, roaring and Sukuna ducked around before leaping back and making the hand signal for his shrine, laughing as his eyes narrowed. The slash he let lose was powerful, followed by a second one. Gojo dodged the first one, but it forced him into the path of the second one. For a moment, Sukuna grinned, eyes wide and eager and practically salivating at the the thought of seeing the white-haired fool carved in two.
“Gojo! No!”
A flury of curses came for Sukuna, pulling his attention away for a brief moment, his slash going wide as Gojo stumbled back. A snarl formed on the lips of the powerful four-armed sorcerer and he turned, watching as Geto moved to get to the side of his friend. It was so pathetic how he looked out for the other.
Pathetic, just like Yuuji.
Sukuna’s anger, sharp and cruel, had no room for such displays and there was no remorse, only a sharp edge of wrath. He raised two hands, extending two fingers towards the two as his eyes narrowed and he unleashed a devastating weave of slashes with the intent to rip them apart. It was like a wall, destroying the curses that Geto threw up as he tried to hall a disoriented Gojo to his feet.
Those slash should have cut them all in half. Instead, Geto turned, all but throwing Gojo out of harms way before throwing himself forward. The black-haired sorcerer almost made it. Almost.
“Geto! No!”
Gojo’s scream ripped through the air as his friend fell heavily to the ground, his legs torn up and bleeding heavily. Everything below Geto’s waist looked like it has been mauled and disfigured, taking him out of the fight.
Sukuna’s eyes narrowed as he watched Gojo cradle his companion close to him, eyes wide was he put a hand over the wound in some vain attempt to try and stop the bleeding, “Hold on, just hold on!” Gojo stammered, “We’ll get back to Shoko and-”
“You should just let him die. What is the point in keeping someone so much weaker than you alive?”
Sukuna could feel the hate in Gojo’s eyes as he lifted his eyes towards the four-armed calamity. The white-haired sorcer’s teeth were bared in such raw rancor, Sukuna couldn’t help a grin and a shiver of delight. It was a familiar look, one he had worn himself time and time again. An emotion so simple in raw, it had him far more eager to confront this noble, this leech that had forever walked as if he deserved to stand taller than him. Sukuna matched that hatred with only an expression of mirth as he cocked his head to the side.
“You want to keep fighting me, don’t you? That’s the pleasure you want to pursue,” Sukuna’s voice was almost a purr, relishing the swirl of dark emotions pouring off Gojo as he clutched tighter to Geto, “So fight me. Forget him and see about finishing this fight. After all, what will saving him accomplish save show how pitiful you are to still cling to the ideas of love?”
Geto let out a groan, grimacing as he tried to sit up. Words were failing the sorcerer, his conscious teetering on the edge. Gojo looked down at him, trembling before he looked up at Sukuna. He glared, raising a hand and making a symbol with his fingers. Sukuna shivered, all but ready for another wave of attacks. Instead, in the blink of an eye, Gojo was gone, taking the battered Geto with him.
Sukuna stood there, blinking in shock before his eyes narrowed and a sneer twisted his lips. Rage built up in his chest and he let out a sudden roar, turning with a thrust of a hand to send a massive dismantle across the ground and into the city. Screams rose up, but theu brought him no comofrt as he stood there, grinding his teeth in absolute rage.
Uraume was hesitant to approach his side and the concern and slight fear was easy to read in their expression, as well as a confusion as they peered up at him.
“My lord? Is it not best for such insects to simply run off?”
Sukuna’s gaze shifted to Uraume, all four eyes wide a moment and they flinched back. For a moment Sukuna consider them before he let out a snarl, forcing himself to relax.
“I hate fools who sacrifice everything for those they love,” Sukuna spat, “Those damned souls that think they are on some moral high ground for being able to put aside their pleasures, to suffer, for those who won’t appreciate it,”
Uraume was silent, “But why does that displease you?”
Sukuna sneered, turning then to walk down the path, away from the city, anger following him like a storm cloud, “Because in the end, there is a limit to how often someone will do that for you. Someone I knew once was suppose to do the same, to stay with me, but he fled and left me and that, in the end, what such foolish love and companionship brings you,”
There was another question on Uraume’s lips, but they wisely held their tongue, instead, falling in line behind Sukuna, as ever trailing him dutifully. Sukuna relished the silence then, not trusting himself to speak when just the thought of Yuuji then brought about so many words, so many unspoken curses and screamed oaths that were forever wrapped about the one person he had ever truly cared for. Yuuji, above else, had always been the one to sacrifice everything to make others happy. In that simple gesture of helping someone else, Yuuji could always be content. It was something Sukuna had hated, but always clung to when it came to the only person he loved.
Something he hated to see in other fools.
It made Sukuna scowl all the more, falling into a sullen silence as he nursed the memory of the fool he had so chained himself to, only for him to leave him. His thoughts dark, his silence heavy, and his eyes unable to see anything but the shadow of someone lost to him, thousands of miles away, lost in mountains and snow and storms.
It was evening before Sukuna and Uraume found an inn and were quick to vacate it for their own purposes. Sukuna barely gave a glance to the fleeing residents as he made himself comfortable with a hot bath and then taking some sake up to the higher levels to seek solitude. His mind was too heavy to deal with Uraume for they were a loyal companion and listened to all he said, but they did not ever argue. They listened and repeated, as hollow as a puppet. Just as he wanted.
Just not now when his heart felt heavy again with thoughts of Yuuji. Sukuna sipped lightly at his drink as he looked up above him at the stars.
They were clear that night, unusually so for this time of year. With the moon a sliver of light, it made it easy to have the eyes drawn over the patterns of the sky, although Sukuna found himself frowning a touch. When he and Yuuji had been young, they had once laid out and stared up at that sky with Yuuji and him tracing all sorts of patterns and making up their own stories. The whole sky was theirs to do with as they pleased, to talk about the gods and heroes they had put up there, the animals that danced around the glittering jewels.
There had been hundreds of stories they had created together, and yet, now standing there, looking at them, Sukuna couldn’t find a single one. The stories sitting there, empty, without the stars that once made them so easy to remember. It made an angry, hateful feeling rise in his chest at his lack of recollection of something he had once known so well. It was like bit by bit, Yuuji was growing more forgotten, like a murky memory that was growing more distant despite how he tried so hard to keep him close.
Sukuna glared at those stars then, finding them detestable and bland as he turned his back, heading back inside.
There was nothing to be found in the stars anymore. Just distant, fractured memories that continued to float away, like pieces of whatever remained of his heart, dropping silently to the ground.
The only thing left was to keep trying to fill the hole in his soul with an endless river of pleasures this world could give until it too was dry. Maybe then, Sukuna would feel sated.
Or maybe he would never truly be whole again without the other half of his soul.
Notes:
The Yuuji part in particular was my favorite part to write....and excited to show where this goes next!
Chapter 13: A Final Breath Before the End
Notes:
Sorry for the super huge delay between chapters @_@ These double chapters are hard to write, especially as this is the last chapter before the big reunion next chapter! I hope you all enjoy it! We are about to get into the super angsty parts of this fic as we come now closer to the end.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The air was silent, like the whole world had collectively taken a breath with Yuuji as he stood there, still. Unmoving. Calm. Every breath Yuuji took exhaled with the soft wind that sent a few wisps of leaves that danced across the worn stone of the monastery’s grand courtyard. The sky was a deep blue, endless and only interrupted by the jagged peaks of white mountains looming above Yuuji. The smell of pine trees was in the air, mixing with the eternal sharp chill of morning that lingered forever in the mountains.
Yuuji was comfortable in that stillness where once before such a thing would have made him feel so anxious, like the anticipation of what to come screamed that he needed to move. Now he could stand, regarding his opponent and the world around him, feeling it in a way few could. There was an energy to everything, and he was but a piece of it, falling into its flow as he stood there, balanced on the balls of his feet.
Across the courtyard, Master Bankei stood, the old master monk similarily at ease. YHe and Yuuji breathed in a natural unison, eyes locked, watching. Waiting. Yuuji was more a tiger in long grass, confident, but humble in his power, eyes judging every move, anticipating the moment when he would need to move.
The two stood, silent, as the world breathed around them and for a brief second, a breath was held.
That gentle inhale was the moment both were waiting for. In the blink of an eye, a breath, a small shift in the energy both monks moved. For his age, Master Bankei rushed forward faster than the eye could barely track, a blur of energy as he rushed towards Yuuji. The younger monk didn’t bother to try and keep his eyes on the monk. Speed was always impressive to those sorcerers who saw such a path as one of power and control. For Yuuji, it was about feeling.
Master Bankei’s approach was like a wave of energy, like the storms Yuuji had weathered and survived. He shifted, holding his ground and only moved at the last possible second. There was a grace to Yuuji’s movements now, a delicate dance as he moved in and around Master Bankei’s barrage of attacks. Energy and techniques lashed out, countered, launched, and defended in ways that made it nearly impossible to watch for the untrained. The two of them were trapped in a battle of only inches, both of them moving and weaving about, only moving as much as needed as they conserved cursed energy to work into precise strikes. It was an elegant battle, both combatants moving so fluidly, as if they fought someone who was a mirror of themselves.
They flowed like twin rivers, curling around, looking to flood the other in a strange dance of the world, elegant and deadly, neither one holding back.
So many times in these battles Yuuji had lost and brought low. He would get too greedy, push too hard at the wrong time, or play it to safe. Now though, Yuuji flet more focused than ever, striving hard to track the master and he pulled back, a strike sliding just over his shoulder and without hesitation, Yuuji ducked into the opening the strike provided and put everything he had into the hit.
There was a gasp from Master Bankei, the flow of battle interrupted and the older monk stepping back. Yet before he could regain his compsure and fall back into that memorizing feel of the world, a second diverging strike struck him and sent flying across the stone. The elder monk let out a wheeze as he collapsed to the ground, wincing as he let a hand rub over his stomach where the blows had struck true and interrupted for a moment, the flow of his cursed energy. Yuuji did not pursue to land a finishing strike as he was not about to kill the man. He merely kept in his stance, tensed and ready to continue. The elderly monk though gave a wave of his hand as he rose to his feet, a signal of defeat that had Yuuji, at last, lowering his guard and letting his body relax.
“An excellent strike,” Bankei commented, giving a bow of respect to Yuuji, “You’ve come a long way since your training began a year ago,”
“Thank you Master Bankei,” Yuuji said with a bow of his head, “It is only because of your teachings I’ve come this far,”
“Not just my teachings, Yuuji. Your spirit and will have carried you far as well,” the monk brushed himself off and regarded Yuuji for a moment before giving a solemn nod of his head, “Very rarely have I gotten to meet a prodigy in the ways of perceiving the soul. Your don’t see with your eyes, but your whole being, a rare gift indeed,”
There was a bit of heat to Yuuji’s cheeks, but he remained humble as he gave another bow of his head, “Maybe, but even the rarest and elegant of jade is only a pretty rock until the hands of a master give it shape into a greater form,”
Master Bankei chuckled some as he retrieved his cane, tilting his head, “You are strong Yuuji. Do not doubt the power you hold and the mercy you carry as powerful as the Bodhisattva,”
The old monk paused then, his brow furrowed for a moment in thought. Yuuji regarded him with a tilt of his head as he approached, folding his hands into his sleeves, “Something troubles you master?”
“Not trouble no,” Master Bankei said with a shake of his head, “More musing. Wondering if, perhaps, you would be able to take on a more dangerous burden. It is not something I ask lightly of anyone, but you,” the old monk looked up at Yuuji, his expression serious, “I have a feeling not only that you could handle that burden, but you coming here was a sign this burden was always yours to take,”
The elderly master leaned on his cane a touch as he looked over to Yuuji, “Rare has it been that a person of your power and will has come to these lonely lands, still more, one who has reached a point of enlightenment and peace with the world at such a young age. What you have done here in a year has taken the greatest masters decades to achieve,”
A slight flush rose to Yuuji’s cheeks at those words and he dipped himself into another low brow, “I’m only as strong as the people who have shaped me along this journey. I could not stand as strong as I am now without them,”
Master Bankei chuckled, “always so modest,” he teased lightly before his expression grew serious again, “Yet it remains true that you are very powerful Yuuji. Perhaps powerful enough to be the one to inherit the sparks of black,”
Yuuji felt a coldness settle him over the monk’s words, although he did not know why those words brought such a reaction. It was in the way Master Bankei spoke of these sparks of black, in hushed tones, as if discussing something that wasn’t meant to be spoken about. Yuuji worried his lip some before stepping forward towards Master Bankei as the older man turned to head back into the monastery.
“Sparks of black?”
“In your training, you have heard of a black flash, yes?” Master Bankei asked, glancing over his shoulder.
Yuuji gave a nod, “Yes, it is a rare thing that comes of a sorcerer’s greatest concentration, although it is not a reliable move. Being able to land them is a matter of great study still,”
“Indeed. There has never been a sorcerer who has learned to summon such a technique at will,” Master Bankei said with a nod, although his expression grew grim, “But that does not mean there hasn’t been an entity capable of summoning a black flash at will,”
“Master?”
The old monk entered into the main shrine area, but did not linger long, leading the way down a passage, deeper into the heart of the monastery. He paused a moment to pick up a lantern, carefully lighting it as he looked to Yuuji.
“There was a creature once, a horrific curse that could read the world in such pristine detail, could manipulate it so overwhelmingly, that it could create black flashes as it pleased. It roved these lands, rising up from the very birth of mankind to wander this world, a creature of a thousand hands and a thousand jaws and a thousand eyes,” Master Bankei began solemnly as he lited the lantern a bit higher to regard Yuuji, “It was a curse born of the first evil acts of man, ancient and enduring and its body rumbled like thunder and every touch of its fingers erupted in flashes of black energy, like lightning born of pure malice,”
Yuuji swallowed hard, shivering at the thought of such evil and powerful a curse as Master Bankei turned to lead the way deeper into the monastery and towards the deeper catacombs. The place was eary, the bodies of monks entombed there, the mountains cold turning their corpses to husks. Past these ancient frozen mummies wrapped up in cloth and stone, were deeper tunnels that felt almost as old as the mountains themselves. Yuuji felt a strange sense of eternity fall on him, as if time had started to creep away as the dim light of the lantern seemed to lead them deeper into a darkness not meant to be perceived. Slowly ancient writings and carving were illuminated in the lantern’s light showing long forgotten murals of dark things that lurked at the edge of human understanding. Forgotten whispers and monsters that once were named, only for time to swallow them up into legend.
“It is difficult sometimes to believe such a beast once existed, “master Bankei said, lifting his lantern to show a mural of the monstrous curse born of ancient malice, a black thing of eyes and teeth and hands that grasped along mountain peaks, “Such horror described so simply, but carries such weight,”
Yuuji looked up at the picture, shivering as those drawn eyes seemed to stare into him, “What became of this monster and what did they even name it?”
“There was no name that ever stuck to it. Every culture, every people had a name for it that changed as much as its form did,” Master Bankei said softly, lowering his lantern to continue down the pathway, “Many sorcerers tried to challenged it and failed, all except for one,”
The monk now stopped before an ancient door, lifting up his lantern high as he looked back at Yuuji, “There was an ancient sorcerer who fought it, longer than any still remembers. Although he could not kill such innate evil, he burst it into a thousand pieces, a thousand cursed objects that have spread out across this world. Each tiny fragment holding a fraction of that hideous power,”
The monk entered into the room and Yuuji felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as he saw the heavy warding talismans adorning the wall. The whole place was guarded against any outside influence, practically a death trap for curses and would be trespassers.
There was also an aura of incredible evil in the room, something ancient and sinister that seemed to radiate from an unassuming wooden box that stood at the far edge of the chamber, covered in wards to try and contain whatever malicious power lived within.
Master Bankei approached that box, setting his lantern beside it as he turned to look at Yuuji, his hands gently resting upon it.
“We have combed the world to discover the pieces of that ancient, nameless thing, for it was discovered that sorcerers could take in the evil and gain great power. Those of strong will and pure of heart can contain such evil as a vessel and bend it to their will and purify it, ending the cycle of its malice,” Master Bankei said softly, “One by one, the pieces were cleansed. Now, but a single fragment remains,”
Master Bankei hesitated a long moment as he looked down at the box before with great reverence, he opened it to reveal what was inside. Yuuji drew closer, feeling an unease within his very soul as he looked into the box, holding his breath as he felt the waves of cursed energy flicker off of it. There laid what looked like the dried husk of an eye, about the size of a peach. A darkness clung to it, something unworldly and vicious that had Yuuji swallowing hard, but standing his ground, his gaze flicking to the elderly monk.
“This is...the last piece of that thing?” Yuuji asked softly.
“It is, and it contains the most vile part of what is left of its soul. None have been able to take it in and cleanse it. This last bit of that evil creature has killed so many who have tried that we decided to lock it up here to try and keep it from harming others, but we knew that was never a long-term solution,” Master Bankei said grimly.
“Why is that?” Yuuji asked softly.
“We are not so bold as to assume this monastery will always stand and we, the guardians of this evil, the jailors of its vile energy, will always be able to repel any threat that comes,” Master Bankei said softly, “We live with that worry over our heads that it may get lose and from it, infest someone who would bring its power to light again,”
The monk closed his eyes, “Hope was long ago lost that someone strong and pure enough would be able to take it in and lift this final burden of evil from the world,”
Master Bankei paused before raising his gaze to Yuuji, “Until now,”
“What do you mean?” Yuuji asked softly, although he already felt like he knew the answer that was coming.
“I believe you can take in this cursed object, the last scrap of the innate evil of the world and harness its power and at last, purify it so it may finally leave this world in peace,” Master Bankei responded, eyes set upon Yuuji, “But to even try to become a vessel, a binding vow must be given,”
Yuuji swallowed hard eyes flicking to his master, “What kind of vow?”
“The vow of Bodhisattva,” Master Bankei said as he closed the box, “A vow that you will never seek the pleasures of the next life, turning away from paradise to return to this world as many times as it takes to save those who have been touched by evil and despair. It is a vow where you will always return, throughout the ages to come, to save all those who fall to the villainy of their own nature. Even when all seems lost, you will be the savior, the Bodhisattva who carries the last spark of black and with it, forgiveness and mercy to those the world have said cannot be saved,”
Yuuji stood there staring at the box. Such a vow was not to be taken lightly. A life of pleasure and heaven on earth in this life was one thing, but to stand at the doors of paradise and look back upon the world and remain to help others, that was a great sacrifice. One in which reincarnation would always bring him back to accomplish his duties to save as many souls as possible in the eternal cycle.
Again and again, he would have to return. There would be no end, no reprieve.
It would be a life of suffering that would help others to live and find happiness and release. All those he cared about could move on, and he would remain to help so many others break their cycles of suffering to finally move on from this life to another. He would, upon his first death, become Bodhisattva, as his vows would dictate, and the last bit of ancient evil would be purify by his genuine sacrifice of pure love for this world.
Yuuji stood staring at the box before closing his eyes. A part of him wanted to turn this down. He was strong enough as is and he could keep those he treasured safe until their time came. There was no reason to abandon paradise when he too took that final journey.
Yet another part of him, a part of him that saw the world in all its splendor and had beheld it with awe, wanted everyone else to get the chance he had to see the joy in the simple things. Even if it took a thousand reincarnations, he wanted every soul, every flickering light, to burn its brightest.
A smile touched Yuuji’s face.
There was no choice here, or rather, he felt like he had made the choice for this moment a long time ago when he took the hand of someone the rest of the world had hated, had turned away from a life of happiness to embrace someone, to show love to someone, who so few would ever give a chance to.
Yuuji always chose love and sacrifice because he could do very little else but love every facet, every memory of the world.
“I’ll do it,” Yuuji said quietly, “I’ll take the vow of Bodhisattva and become a vessel for the evils of this world, no matter what forms it shall take,”
Master Bankei smiled and carefully picked up the box that contained that last sliver of an ancient curse too terrible to be recalled, “Then we will conduct the ritual and the vows this evening, and see if you can become a vessel to consume and purify all evil,”
“I won’t let you or anyone else at the monastery down,” Yuuji said, eyes filled with a burning determination, “I will become a vessel and from there on, look upon this world with mercy and save those that everyone else has given up upon,”
Master Bankei gave a small nod, “Then take the rest of the day to meditate and prepare yourself for what is to come. You will need to steel yourself for what is to come,”
Yuuji gave a small nod, his eyes falling to that box again, “I will,” he said softly, “I will,”
It felt like being in a dream then for Yuuji. He was led out of that darkness and into the light of the day above. Master Bankei sent for the other elders of the temple and they gathered in the furthest room of the monastery behind closed doors to prepare for the ritual.
Yuuji found himself standing in the main altar room, staring up at the great golden statues of Buddha and the great Bodhisattvas in their thousands hands and eyes. Those anointed ones, holy and blessed teachers, all stared down at him with painted eyes in gold, as if to question if he would truly join their ranks. It made him feel so small, a speck of dust in the universe that spun and struggled, enlightened enough to behold himself from such lofty perspectives and be content with his role. Those quiet eyes reminded Yuuji of the grand statues of the monastery where he grew up, not as big, but still well cared for and filled with benevolent and quiet urging of his dreams.
It had Yuuji smiling a touch and he seated himself in the center of that room, able to turn his head to see all those statues sand altars, just as he had done as a small boy, pretending like each statue was some ancestor that was silently pleased with him.
He smiled and bowed his head, and as he had done as a boy, Yuuji prayed, reciting the mantras and sutras by heart. He prayed to them for strength and wisdom for what was to come, for Yuuji knew he could not let any doubt creep into his mind. He had to believe in himself, in his abilities, and be guided by his will to this path of great sacrifice. This was an ultimate act of love for the world, to stand before his own pleasures and decline them, knowing that there would be far greater pleasure in seeing all this world come to beautiful fruition over and over again.
Yuuji prayed, until he was aware of the sun setting and the quiet prescence of Master Bankei in the room beside him, causing him to finish his last mantra and look up at the elderly man.
“It is time,” Master Bankei said softly, “Are you ready?”
“I am,” Yuuji said as he rose to his feet.
The elderly monk nodded before leading him forward. It was all a ritual, as most things were dealing with curses were. There was a strange connection to the power of belief and cursed energy that had long since been discovered by ancient man. It was as if belief itself was its own energy, able to give form to that which mankind tried to muddle through and comprehend.
For Yuuji, the ritual was first in a bath to purify the soul and bless him for what was to come. Soft robes of white, a symbol of death and purity, rebirth and cycles, was adorned about his shoulders before he was let into the room prepared for the ritual. The air was hazy with smoke and the chants of the elders as Yuuji kenlt before the wooden box.
Master Bankei moved to sit before Yuuji, the box in between them before he carefully opened it once more to reveal that shriveled eye. Such a simple thing radiate such cursed energy, it made so much sense it was born of some ancient sin of mankind, the first evils done and shaped by belief that lit it roam, devour, and kill mindlessly to sate its own desires.
“Itadori Yuuji, you have come from far to train here, an enlightened one, a Buddha in his own right, a holy teacher to the love of this world, do you take upon yourself this burden to cleanse evil, even when all the world has turned away from it?” Master Bankei asked solemnly, “Do you take now, the vow of Bodhisattva, to forever return to guide those who have lost their way to find love in this world?”
Yuuji’s gaze met Master Bankei’s own without hesitation, “I do,” he said, firm in his convictions, “I will take this binding bow and turn away from whatever paradise enlightenment has granted me,”
He would be the light, the sun, that the forgotten, the unwanted, and forsaken could turn to and curse, but he would never look away as he offered them a path forward and away from the cycle of death, rebirth, and cruelty. There would be no curses he didn’t find and lead to a new path.
Yuuji would be their mercy as he had already saved himself.
Now he could save others.
“Then you may take the burden, Yuuji. Prove the conviction of your vows,” the old monk said, finally offering the box towards Yuuji.
Yuuji’s hand did not tremble as he picked up that eyeball and turned it over in his hands. It was ancient, mummified, and stared lifelessly despite the energy that clung to it. He eyed that awful cursed object for a moment before he opened his mouth and bit into it. He gagged on the taste and felt his stomach churn with the want to vomit, but he steeled himself and consumed it, bite by wretched bite until it was gone. He felt it slide down his throat into his stomach, its evil burning even deeper through his skin, through his heart, and into his very soul. It hurt. It burned. It made every muscle, every bone, every bit of flesh that formed his very body tremble as it worked its way outwards from his stomach, looking to ensnare everything inside me.
Something whispered a thousand horrid ideas and presented visions of blood like the greatest meal to savor. There were fields of death and corpses, the screams of people, and the laughter of enjoyment that could come if he became less concerned with others and simply did as his most basic nature wanted. All of it rattled inside Yuuji as he found himself gasping, bending forward to put his hands against cold stone. His eyes were wide, frantic as he felt like the world was closing in around him like a darkness. His fingers curled against the ground and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.
That voice whispered only that Yuuji should relent and give up this body, letting it return.
Letting it live and let him die quietly away like a candle being snuffed out in the darkness that closed in.
“No,” Yuuji whispered, a hoarse sound in his throat, “This is not your body. This will never be your body!”
that burning in his veins seemed to freeze in place as Yuuji summoned his will and focused on everything he held dear and everything in this world that was worth fighting for. He grasped at all of that, tugging it in close to his heart and fortifying it against such evil. His soul remained unbroken, untainted, and stood like a cage of steel around that evil, trapping it, suffocating it, forcing it to become pure within his power.
There was no thought to this evil. It writhed like a confused animal, and yet its power seemed to meld itself to Yuuji’s bones, engraving their gifts upon him. It was impossible to see where one soul ended and another began those sparks of black, like cursed lightning, striking over and over again within him, granting him a strange blessing.
Yuuji collapsed forward, gasping, trembling with the exertion and he could feel tears staining his cheeks, unaware he had been crying at all. The other monks stood around, tensed, before Master Bankei stepped forward, kneeling down to put a hand upon Yuuji’s back, “Are you yourself?”
The questioned lingered for a long, tense moment as Yuuji barely gave a flick of his eyes toward the monk, starting at him before he closed them, taking a steadying break.
“I am,” he whispered out, “I am myself, but I can feel it now, inside me,”
“It is contained within you,” Master Bankei said softly, “There are few who have the will and ability to contain the power of a cursed object and make their power their own. Such feats truly show your own spirit’s strength to be able to consume and purify such things,”
“I don’t think it is strength of spirit,” Yuuji murmured, sitting up, one hand over his heart, “This thing has no thought, no idea of self, so it melds to what I tell it to be. If it was more whole, more aware, it would be more difficult for me to contain I think,”
His fingers rubbed over his chest as he closed his eyes, feeling that dark thing move through his veins, and yet at the same time, the world seemed so different, or rather, more sharply in focus. His ever senses were engage, more fine tuned to the murmurs of the world. Every breath made in that room, he could sense, narrowing it down to the very moment it was created.
“Still you contained it, and no doubt you could contain many more if you must,” Master Bankei said, giving a bow to Yuuji, “You truly are Bodhisattva, one who walks to show the path to paradise,”
That brought a flush to Yuuji’s ears as he shook his head, slowly rising to his feet, “I don’t think I’m yet worthy of such a lofty title yet,”
“Then perhaps in time you will grow into your role,” Master Bankei said with a faint smile, “For there is now a higher purpose that you are meant to find,”
Yuuji paused at those words, looking up at the massive idol before him, “A higher purpose,” he murmured.
It had been part of the vow of Bodhisattva to carry out a mission to guide others to a better life and redeem those that the rest of the world saw as irremediable. He was the mercy that would end one life to greet them in another, over and over again reincarnating, as many times as it took for his mercy to be accepted.
What that meant though, Yuuji wasn’t sure. All he knew was when he thought of souls to save, his mind drifted back into the past, to a place where his heart began to ache all over again and the name of one soul, above all others, he wanted so desperately to save.
A name Yuuji never forgot and knew that one day he would have to return to settle things one and for all.
“A higher purpose,” Yuuji repeated softly, feeling that name in his soul, “Or just wanting to return to make good of another vow I made so long ago,”
Sukuna’s name spun in his head as he thought about his purpose now in life. That name still sat there on his shoulders as Yuuji sat at dinner, ignoring the cheer of his dearest comrades about him as they talked over what had happened that day with eager questions.
“You really just swallowed some cursed object? Just like that?” Nobara asked, peering at him incredulously, “Didn’t even question that?”
Yuuji let out a quiet laugh, eyes still fixed ahead to the horizon, “I guess it is rather sudden,” he admitted, “But I just felt like it was something I was meant to do. That I wanted to do,”
“Sometimes I think you are losing your mind,” Nobara said with a shake of her head, “Do you even know what you are going to do with all this power?”
Megumi sighed, leaning against the pillar near where they sat together, regarding the looming mountains around them, “I would think it is obvious what we will all do with our new talents. I think that it is time for us to set out and handle curses, just as we always talked about. Saving people and the like,”
“Well duh! But where do we start doing that?” Nobara retorted, “Around here? Go East? West? Hell, are we going far south into India to go see what is there?”
Megumi gave a shrug, looking over towards Choso, “Where is the most cursed place you’ve ever seen?”
Choso gave a shrug, sipping lightly at his tea as he sat back, “The lands to the South East of where we are I believe, but I have heard that the colder lands beyond burning deserts are home to blood eaters and ancient, grim-faced men who barely see the sun,”
“That sounds super cursed to me!” Nobara said wit ha grin, “So we head west?”
Yuuji looked away from the horizon and into the clear amber liquid of his tea before his brow furrowed.
“No. We are going East,”
Choso glanced over at Yuuji as he sipped lightly at his tea, “East?”
“Back home,” Yuuji said softly, “I think we have been away long enough right? We should settle matters at home before we even consider going out into the world,”
All of them sat in silence. All of them thinking back to what their homeland was to them. Megumi tensed, reminded of the family that sold him away. Nobara scowled with memories of her own family’s wishes to marry her off to a life she didn’t want. For Choso, it was back to the land that disowned him and his brothers to live the dangerous life at sea.
For Yuuji, it was a four-armed, four-eyed man slipping slowly into a life of mindless pleasures and little care for the world that had long since labeled him a monster.
There were few good memories to be had, but in the end, it was still home and it still called Yuuji back.
“I think we all have business that needs to be finished before we can really move on,” Yuuji said quietly as he brought his knees to his chest, “We can’t keep running from it and I think we are all strong enough to finally confront it all,”
“Maybe,” Nobara murmured, “At least enough time has passed there won’t be anyone that really remembers us,”
Megumi closed his eyes, “The closure would be nice,” he finally admitted, “I can at the very least see if my sister is safe,”
“Then we head east,” Yuuji said, eyes fixed ahead on the horizon and the next path he would guide his companions along, “And we go together, from this road to the next. I wouldn’t mind leaving tomorrow either. I think I’m finally starting to get antsy and long for the road again,”
“Yeah,” Nobara said with a chuckle, “Me too. Think this place has been nice to rest and learn at, but it never feels like home, does it?”
“Not at all,” Choso said with a chuckle, “So guess we must move on until someplace starts to feel like that,”
“Then we pack tonight and head out at dawn,” Megumi said with a nod, the matter settled, “I’ll get us some maps,”
And just like that, as if of one mind and spirit, they were rising to their feet to prepare for another journey.
It felt odd to Yuuji to be packing up again to head back to Japan after two years at the monastery. The journey would be long, another two years before they even reached the shore. Yuuji couldn’t help a small chuckle as he wondered if anyone would recognize him as he had grown a lot more from his young days. He was nearly middle-aged now and it felt like time had passed so quickly. He no longer carried his boyhood youth, all that melted into more chiseled features and the small onset of wrinkles at the comer of his eyes from smiling too much these past years. He had come to this place looking to fulfill a childhood dream, and now he stood, one of the most powerful monks of the monastery, hand trained and containing within him a spark of black that had been bent to his will.
Yuuji could feel that new power in his veins like a focus he had never thought possible. He felt strong, calm, and seeing the world with such clarity of mind and soul.
Still it felt so strange to be taking the same path home, seeing it with new eyes.
“I hope that the road back is less crazy than the one here,” Nobara murmured as she shouldered her bag.
“At least we might move faster as we know the way a bit more,” Choso said with a shrug, “or could take a route to the nearest port and travel by sea rather than land,”
“Would we find any boat able to take us to Japan?” Megumi questioned with a frown, “Not many boats travel that far on their own,”
“But they do travel to ports of China,” A voice said behind them.
The group turned to see Nanami there, a satchel over his one shoulder as he approached them. The man bowed low, a slight smile tugging at his lips, “If you would permit me, I would go with you too on this journey,”
Yuuji blinked, “Why?”
“Call it a feeling,” Nanami said, “I feel like something is pulling me back too, perhaps the same call pulling all of you back. I heard of you heading to Japan from the elders and… I want to go with you,”
“The more the merrier,” Nobara huffed, “Especially as you seem to know the way to get back faster,”
“We head south and past the mountains into the lower reaches and there are many port cities to be found despite the recent invaders from the steppes. It would be simple to get passage into Khmer territory, and from there, find faster passage to the shorelines of China or even to Japan itself,” Nanami said with a dip of his head, “I used to travel such routes extensively with merchants to keep track of trade and flying currencies,”
Choso rubbed his chin, “The Khmer empire is said to be filled with its own dangers. I heard tell of many a curse being brought in and out of the region as their trade flourished,”
“As if we have to worry about dangerous curses. If it reduces our time, I’m for it,” Nobara grumbled, “I don’t want to return to Japan some old hag after all, and it means less chances of us meeting a horrible end!”
Yuuji grimaced just a bit, “Well, boats can be just as bad as an ending if things go wrong,”
The group was silent a moment before Megumi gave a small sigh, “It can’t hurt to try at least. Get to the port and maybe keep along the coast rather than take the inland routes again,”
“We still got a long walk to think about our plans,” Yuuji put in with a chuckle, “But I think between all of us, we will settle on something without it coming to a shouting match,”
“Right up until we get to the first crossroad at least,” Choso commented with a smile and glance towards Nobara.
The young woman gave a roll of her eyes and a hard nudge to both Yuuji and Megumi, “I only shout for these two idiots to listen to reason!”
Yuuji couldn’t help a quiet laugh at that, rubbing the back of his head, as always grateful for the energy his friends gave him. Even small conversations like this meant so much, like a thousand little treasure to keep close to his heart. Yet even then, he could feel the unease that wanted to creep up and knowing full well what was at the core of that feeling. Even if he had let go of Sukuna, it did not stop him from wondering what had become of his dearest friend, his lover, his whole heart at one time. A part of him hoped that Sukuna had done better for himself and that their reunion would be more a bittersweet thing, but perhaps also a point of change for both of them.
Just a simple hope to start again. To set things right between them after so long and put the past behind.
Yuuji allowed him a small smile at the thought.
Maybe now he could finally show Sukuna how to move past his pain and walk hand in hand with him again.
This time, maybe Yuuji’s love would finally be enough.
-------
There was something elegant about the imperial palace. Even growing up, Sukuna couldn’t help but admire it from afar as it stood as the glamorous beating heart of Heian. Many a times he had sat out with Yuuji on the rooftop of the inn they had called home in their youth and gawked at it, memorized by how it glowed at night and how during celebrations, it was lit up like a beacon of light in the darkest time. It was a forbidden sort of place, the buildings taking on the aspects of another emperor’s court in an attempt to capture some of the grandeur of a larger empire and the prestige that came with such sentiments.
Even now as Sukuna stood regarding it from the outskirts of Heian, chin in one hand, he had to admire how lovely it still looked. A beautiful place, walled off from the misery of the world and seemingly untouchable to all calamity, disease, and uncertainty.
Until today.
Sukuna couldn’t help a smirk finding its way onto his lips as he let his four eyes trail over the place, already knowing soon he would make his way inside to finally confront the family that had long abandoned him. The father he had never known all his life, the mother long buried, and the concubine who’s whorish womb had born only half-sisters to replace him. All born of a curse screamed out in a horrific childbirth that the whole court had been to afraid of to murder while still an infant.
Really Sukuna couldn’t remember much of his time as an infant had been spent within those walls. He certainly didn’t live a glamorous life of comfort. He remembered darkness and hunger and a heavy chain. There were servants that came and went, some decrepit nanny who offered him her unwholesome milk with a hollowed look in her eye. His earliest memories were of sunlight and master Kotarou’s hand clasped about his own as he led him away from those walls and headed towards lofty places in the mountains.
Perhaps that is why master Kotarouhad been, and always would be, the only one he would truly call father rather than the wretched man who actually shared his blood. Master Kotarouwas a good man, honest and true, and filled with compassion and in Sukuna, he had seen a better life for him. It had been that man that had given him a name and offered his own last name to the four armed child that clung to his hand. Ryoumen Kotarou had been his father’s real name, and maybe if he had survived the slaughter of the monastery, if he was still alive to draw breath today, elderly and bent, life could have been different.
Maybe he would have really grown into something Master Kotarou would have been proud of. Of someone Yuuji would have been proud of.
It was a shame their sentiments and mercy had been wasted trying to stop what was in Sukuna’s mind, now so clearly an inevitability of his birth.
Sukuna just smirked wickedly as he rose to his feet, stretching out some, bare chested to the world and with no desire to hide the monstrous parts of who he was as he towered over every man, more curse than human. His mind now was focused on achieving his gruesome plan today and the simple joys of taking pleasure in what would be a most horrific slaughter.
He certainly wasn’t anything to be proud of, but Sukuna could care less. The dead couldn’t judge him and there was no one else to impress. No one held his hand on the path he had picked, one of blood, violence, and cruelty that was a balm upon his soul and fueled his every depraved desire now.
Sukuna had not grown into anyone to be proud of but rather the very abomination that master Kotarou had sworn to always destroy. He idly wondered if the man he called his father would even regard him as a son for all he had done. That if the old man or even Yuuji stood there now, looking upon him, if their flimsy hearts would still want to show him love and pity.
He doubted even they could forgive him for all he had done and the blood that dripped crimson from his hands.
“The emperor must think very little of your power for how few sorcerers he has gathered around him,” Uraume commented from beside Sukuna, eyeing the palace that lay at the heart of the city before them.
“Or he’s already sent his best to the slaughter and now surrounds himself with fools that he holds onto mad hope can save him,” Sukuna said with a smirk, “Either way, it is of little consequence. I am not going to be denied this family reunion,”
Uraume cocked their head slightly, an elegant eyebrow lifted, “Family reunion?”
“Believe it or not, my pedigree is a rather noble one, despite having lived in a gutter all my life,” Sukuna said with a chuckle, “Perhaps that is where I get my high standards from,”
A quirk of a smile graced Uraume’s lips, “And your impeccable sense of fashion?”
That earned a laugh from Sukuna as he gave a lazy roll of his shoulders, “Perhaps. Either way, I doubt there will be many that will care too terribly for me paying my father and half-sisters a visit,”
“Some might praise and worship you as a god for it, given how the countryside has started to murmur with the whispers of rebellion,” Uraume commented.
A cruel laugh escaped Sukuna as he ran a hand through his hair, a lazy grin on his face, “If that isn’t ironic, I’m not sure what is! Me? Worshiped as a god?” He let out a sigh, unable to keep an amused expression off his face, “Clearly I’ve caused so much destruction now they have moved to appeasement to cope,”
Such sentiments were amusing to Sukuna. All of the nation was slowly looking to give him what gifts they could, all in an effort to earn his blessings. He could ask anything of them be it wealth or blood, and it would be laid down without question at his feet. It was laughable how weak people were. There truly was no one who could stop him now, not a single sorcerer out there who would have not only the strength, but the resolve to kill him.
There were no other monsters that existed that could compare to him. He stood at the top, alone, undisputed in his rule and unchallenged in his reign.
Now all there was left to do was legitimize his throne at last.
His gaze fell to that palace again, once some mystical place of dreams between him and Yuuji, late nights spent looking at it from the high window of the inn attic and trying to guess what was inside or make up fanciful feasts where they would one day be invited. Such innocent, pathetic times those were. Why merely dream about a place and await an invitation when it was so much easier to simply walk through the front door?
“I think its time to pay the emperor a visit,” Sukuna said, starting to finally step forward, “I’ve been putting this off for so long,”
Uraume gave a hum, folding their hands into their sleeves as they walked along side him, “I’m sure it will be a pleasant visit,”
“Oh indeed,” Sukuna said with a vicious smirk, “You remember your role in all this, yes?”
“Of course my lord. Why would you ever think I would fail you?” Uraume gave a disdainful little sniff at the idea, “I will bring what you requested to you, as intended,”
“Good. Because I want to let a lesson be learned about fate this day,”
Sukuna stepped forward then through the gates of the city, smashed to bits and covered in the blood of the guards who had tried to stand firm in the face of a calamity. The smell of blood and death was thick in the air already, mixing with the panicked screams and billowing smoke that rose as the people of the city did all they could to escape the swarm of curses that had been unleashed upon them.
Really forcing smaller curses to his will was a simple thing. The mindless combinations of cursed energy and human misery were quick to follow orders to those beings of their ilk that commanded greater power. Like hungry little children, the curses of the land flocked to Sukuna, eager to follow in his footsteps and more than eager to unleash terror upon the city. Sukuna cared little for what those minor hates would get into. His gaze remained on the palace and the sorcerers at the front gate that did all they could to keep the tide from coming upon them.
Perhaps if this whole attack had only been such simple curses, they might have stood a chance. After all, the Five Empty Generals and the elite assassin force, Sun, Moon, and Stars Squad were said to be exceptional fighters. The best the clan had to offer and to whom they had stationed before the palace itself in a final show of strength and that despite how the entire nation was falling apart around them, how rebellion began to roar in the countryside and the people suffered from starvation and illness, that the Fujiwara and the beloved Emperor still could hold their power.
It was all so very pathetic.
Sukuna’s smile never left his face as he came to the front gate of the palace. He simply lifted his hands as the lead general began to speak, dramatic and bold. The man spoke with whole chest in a manner that made it clear he was not one to be ignored. His burning eyes glared at Sukuna from under his helmet, his armor gleaming as he thrust his arm out towards the approaching sorcerer, mustache bristling.
“You! The fallen one! You will not take another step closer to this palace!” The lead general declared, so bold and confident among his comrades, “This is the day that you will finally-”
It was too bad Sukuna didn’t care for dramatic speeches and posturing roosters. Such things were unentertaining morsels before the feast, the boiled soy beans offered simply to wet the appetite. Sukuna had always prided himself one one who didn’t waste his appetites on such little snacks and saved his time for the savory feast beyond.
His domain expanded outwards rapidly and the leader of the Five Empty Generals almost looked shocked, mouth opening to demand answers. The poor fool didn’t even know he was dead as his head fell from his body. Sukuna smirked, head cocked to the side as he unleashed his powerful technique upon all of them.
It was a glorious bloodbath. He crushed every single one of them without a backwards glance and before they could actually put up a fight. Their remains splattering to the ground in a rain of meat and spilled fluids that had the cursed sorcerer grinning wide in response. The once mighty gate to the imperial palace complex fell inwards in pieces and Sukuna stepped over the remains, only pausing to make sure he dug his heels into the heads of every single empty-eyed general to hear the satisfying crunch of their skulls giving way.
So much for them being an elite force. In the end, they were just as pathetic as the many other sorcerers he ripped apart.
Beyond the shattered gate, the imperial complex was already in shambles. Servants, nobles, and the bulging bureaucrats rushed about screaming in panic as they tried to find some means to escape with what they could, like a colony of ants that had been exposed and desperate now to get their wriggling young to safety. Uraume gave a glance about before they were moving away, darting in one direction to tend to their own assigned mission.
Sukuna kept walking forward to the solitary figure that stood relaxed at the foot of the stairs that led to the throne of the emperor.
“Does he know what is going on, Kenjaku?” Sukuna asked idly.
The figure smirked, wearing a new face now, yet the eyes always remained the same, cold and empty like the eyes of a dead snake, “No,” Kenjaku said, his new voice deeper and far raspier, “I’ve kept a barrier about him, citing it was for his own protection and said there was no possible way for the Five Empty Generals and the Sun, Moon, and Stars Squad to fail,”
Sukuna gave a nod, looking up to those grand doors and the strange peace that surrounded the structure, “No one is coming to his rescue, correct? I do not want to be interrupted,”
“No. He has no one left,” Kenjaku chuckled, rubbing his chin, “I’ve done my part in putting the Fujiwara in a weakened position. Many of the sorcerers once at their beck and call have gone to the countryside where a fiery new general is rising to power,”
Kenjaku gave a small chuckle, his head tilted, “Really your calamity is burning all of Hieian to the ground and it makes me curious what shall emerge out of this chaos,”
“Nothing will,” Sukuna said with a dark chuckle, “Eventually, no matter who seeks to rise to power and claim this corpse of a country, what maggot finds itself bold enough to molt into a challenging fly, I’ll swat down. Crush them as is the nature of a god to do for the vermin it lets thrive,”
The four-armed man stepped forward then, starting to ascend the steps and towards those massive gold doors, “At this point, all there is left for me to do is tie up all the lose ends of my life and lay to rest everything else,”
He had never seen these fine doors before in his life, or perhaps he had in a time long before memories began to form. Sukuna’s first memories of this complex had always been darkness. A room where the sunlight only came in through small slitted windows and the sounds of the outside world were distant and muted. There was the smell of must and misery and the touch of some old croon as she nursed him on her withered breasts mutely.
He was a cursed child. Something forbidden that was to be locked up for fear of what wrath would be called upon all if he were allowed to live. An unwanted creature to all save a lone monk that had taken his hand and led him into the light away from this place.
Now he had returned, no longer a prisoner, or a scared toddler squinting into the sun with fear and barely able to form the basics of human language.
Sukuna now returned strong, more powerful than anything imaginable, and as a curse upon those that had been too cowardly to end him at his birth.
All four hands rested against the gilded doors before he pushed them open, striding in, caked in blood, and trailing it along as he walked towards the figure seated upon his throne. The emperor looked so frail yet seemed to try and put on a persona of boldness as he glared at Sukuna. Yet for all that, the old ruler’s limbs trembled with obvious fear as the cursed sorcerer approached. Sukuna looked up at the emperor, and offered a wicked smile as he cocked his head to the side, all four eyes tracing over the figure before him.
“Hello father. At last I get to see you up close and not simply from afar,”
The emperor scowled, those eyes fixed on Sukuna, “I do not have a son,”
“Oh you do. Just not one you would ever acknowledge right?” Sukuna mocked, “Even despite the fact I’ve become more powerful than any of the sorry armies you could muster,”
The emperor only tensed, his grip hardening on the armrests of his chair, “I do not have a son,” He repeated, more firmly and with conviction, “The empress bore the child of a demon through dark and beguiling means. It was dark sorcery that conceived you and of that I have little doubt. She made deals to try and save the fact her womb was barren and she would be replaced. You are no son of mine, for none could conceive normally such a foul creature,”
Sukuna chuckled as he crossed his arms with an amused look, “How cruel father. You are breaking my heart, especially as I came all this way to see you at last!”
All four arms were spread out in a gesture of greeting, an almost gentle gesture as Sukuna smiled at the man that was his father only by means of blood, “My mother gave up her life to birth you a son, and you couldn’t even honor that,”
“She died cursing me with her last breath as she birthed you in the blood remnants of your devoured twin,” the emperor spat, “She was barren!”
“And she gave birth to me,”
“The child of a demon, no child if mine,” The emperor snarled.
Sukuna smirked, “but I’m the only son you had, so by that right, your line runs through me, or not at all, as I doubt any would bow to an empress. Your silly little concubine that you adored and fucked while my mother agonized over having me never did give you a son, did she?”
The emperor glared at Sukuna, tensing as he watched the four-armed sorcerer start to casually climb the stairs slowly, as if savoring every step he took closer to his estranged father. Sukuna’s four eyes never left the man’s face, tracing over the sunken in eyes and mass of wrinkles that spoke of the mans age. How in that wizened face, Sukuna saw more of himself more than anything. That same coldness and disregard for those that did not fit into his world.
That same stubbornness that would not accept what his eyes were showing.
Sukuna stopped in front of the emperor, now looking down at him and smirking wide, finding himself enjoying this view even more. How small and pathetic this man was, trembling under his gaze and unable to do anything but glare.
The four armed sorcerer raised one hand, nails painted black and filed to a point idly raised. The man tensed, eyes closed and expecting some attack. No doubt such a thing would be an honorable death, but it was not something that Sukuna would ever permit.
Not for his father.
The old man let out a cry as he was tossed unceremoniously from his chair and down onto the steps leading to the platform he once so proudly sat upon as emperor. Sukuna let himself fall back into the throne instead. He leaned back in his newfound seat, looking out over the hall and frowning. Sukuna let his gaze linger at the view this lofty throne provided crossing one pair of arms as the other two rested against the armrests.
“I was expecting such a better view or feeling of power from such a seat,” Sukuna complained, “Honestly, I find it rather uncomfortable to sit upon all day and more like a prized idiot sitting here,”
The emperor winced, about to rise to his feet before he cried out again as two cuts opened against his legs, small and neat, and just enough to cut tendons to keep him from being able to do anything more but rise up onto all fours like a dog.
“Now now, a disposed emperor should keep kneeling before the one who usurps the throne,” Sukuna said idly, “But I might just give it back. It feels so useless and I certainly don’t want to rule as a puppet for the Fujiwara Clan,”
“You…!”
Sukuna let out a sigh, pouting as he leaned back, “This isn’t a throne fit for me,” He finally said, rising to his feet and raising a hand to slash the throne into pieces, “And Emperor of Japan doesn’t feel a fitting title anyways for what I am,”
“You are nothing but a curse!” The old emperor spat, trembling, “Nothing but-”
“A king of curses,” Sukuna said, a smirk touching his lips, “That is what someone once called me in jest,”
All four eyes slid to the old man trembling at the base of the stairs, legs bleeding from his wounds. How such a pathetic and frail creature commanded the adoration of so many was beyond Sukuna. He almost wanted to tie up the emperor to a pole and parade him around the countryside so all those hopeful fools who thought he could do anything could see just how useless, how weak, their beloved emperor was.
“My lord. I’ve found them,”
Sukuna’s gaze flicked upwards as Uraume entered, driving a parade of women before him. There were five women in total, all dressed in the silks and trappings of nobility. There was fear in their eyes, although they tried to remain stoic and regale. The emperor tensed, his eyes widened.
“No...”
“These are your daughters yes? The children you do acknowledge that you had with your most beloved consort turned empress?” Sukuna asked.
The emperor pushed himself up, looking to Sukuna, “Please do not do them any harm. Kill me or take what you want from my palace but don’t hurt them!”
Sukuna gave a tilt of his head, amused by the pleading, but there was no mercy in his heart, only a sick pleasure as he idly stepped down from the destroyed throne and even taking the time to step over the fallen emperor as he approached the line of women. He loomed over them, walking up and down the line as he memorized each of their faces.
They were a line of fearful little doves, save the one at the end that tried her best to hold herself high with a trembling gaze. That one, Sukuna supposed, was more a crow than a dove with how she at least attempted to stand proud before him. Sukuna chuckled, crossing all four arms.
“Do you know who I am? Any of you?”
They all remained silent. Sukuna’s smirk only grew wider, exposing more teeth and the mouth on his stomach split open into a wicked grin.
“I’m your brother, well half brother. My mother was the first empress, the first wife of this spineless fool,” He said with a tilt of his head towards the trembling, helpless emperor, “I’m here because I want to meet my family and was looking for a place to belong in their loving arms,”
Sukuna let out a dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes to fix over on the emperor, “He won’t give me any love, so I feel only the sting of my isolation all the deeper, but perhaps you, all of you of a gentler sex and nature, perhaps...you would welcome your brother into your hearts?”
He spoke soft, like Yuuji would do when comforting him. That gentle tone and soft smile as he looked at them imploringly. Ever so slowly, wobbling smiles appeared on faces and a few of them stepped forward. One was nodding vigorously, opening up her arms despite how her blue eyes swam with fear. The threat of death moved her to work her painted lips into a smile and pretend with such sweet words she actually would welcome Sukuna as a sibling at all.
“Of-of course brother! We welcome you! I personally am so grateful to see I have such a handsome and powerful brother!” the first one stammered out.
“Oh yes! We are honored!” the next one put in, following the lead of her sister as she bowed her head, “Whatever it is our brother needs, we can certainly provide! It is the duty of sisters to love their brothers as dearly as they would a husband!”
“And a feast! A feast should be prepared in your honor!” still another one said.
Sukuna let out a sigh, a hand over his chest, “Do you mean that my sisters? Even though you know me and my brutish nature, you would take me? Accept me?”
“Of course!” the first said, taking a step closer, “Families love unconditionally, yes?”
Four of his half sisters spoke to him with fawning favor, professing such sweet words. Sukuna though noted the fifth remained silent, glaring at him. He made his way to her. She tensed, but did not waver, pursing her lips in distaste as if the crow could barely believe he stood so close to her.
Sukuna smirked down at her, “And what about you? Will you love me?”
“I would never even try to fake even a drop of affection for a monster like you,” she said, voice even and glaring hatefully as she clenched her hands, “Not all the money in the kingdom could pay for me to love you, nor would I ever consider something like you even close to someone of my blood,”
Sukuna raised a hand, smirking, “Bold words,”
He brought his fingers down and the emperor screamed. The one half-sister who stood before him stared up at him with wide eyes as her teal colored hair was spattered in blood. She stood there unharmed, covered in blood that was not her own. The four half-sisters that had done all they could to try and convince Sukuna of their love with gentle words and trembling promises lay cut to pieces upon the floor.
Sukuna gave a tilt of his head, looking over the last of his half-siblings, “I hate simpering,” he said idly, “Do you have a name?”
One hand came up to press a single cruel finger against the remaining half-siblings chin, “Or are you a nameless, powerless little thing that should be gutted too?”
She clenched her jaw, glaring angrily at Sukuna despite how his nail dug against her pale skin, leaving a trickle of blood, “You don’t deserve to know my name,” she said coolly.
Sukuna chuckled, “Then how about a deal? You give me your name, and I’ll let you run. I’ll let you run and try to escape, so you can come back and try and take your pitiful vengeance on me,”
Her eyes blazed, hands clenching at her side, never once looking away from him, “Mei Mei,” she finally said, “And that is a name you won’t forget,”
“Mei Mei. Adorable,” Sukuna chuckled and stepped back, throwing out a hand.
A slash cut out behind her, removing the far wall of the palace. It crumbled away to show the chaos outside and the slaughter taking place as people of the court were being cut down by the hungry curses now entering into the royal city to feed.
“I’m true to my vows,” Sukuna said with a shrug, “So run Mei Mei. Run and lets see if you will even survive trying to escape the hell hole that has become your once gleaming home,”
Mei Mei clenched her jaw, taking on step back, then another. She turned then, fleeing across the ruin of the imperial hall, already hiking up her robes, tearing at the cloth to allow her more room to run. The emperor lay there, eyes wide as he stared at the remains of his other four daughters, bile hanging from his lips from where he had vomited. Sukuna didn’t pay him any mind, just starting to walk away as he raised a hand to Uraume.
“Let’s go. I’m already growing tired of this-”
“You monster!” The emperor roared, trying to get to his feet, “You-!”
“Yes yes, monster. Demon. Calamity. What have you,” Sukuna gave a wave of his hand, “You throw out such insults so freely, don’t you?”
“How could you just-”
“Easily,” Sukuna said dryly, “Killing is so very easy and gives me pleasure when it means so much to someone else. Perhaps if you were strong, you could have defended them or sent them away to safety. Now you only have one,”
Sukuna gave a chuckle as he brought his hands together, “I wonder if she has gotten away?”
The emperor trembled, “Why don’t you kill me?” He whispered hoarsely, “Why not end me and take your vengeance?”
“Because none of this was about revenge, dear father. It was about just seeing how I liked the view,” Sukuna’s eyes narrowed as he let his hands swirl about, feeling the heat start to build between them, “And I still find myself not pleased with the view from here at all,”
There was once a time in Sukuna’s life, where there had been fear. A raw moment where he had felt weak and unable to move. Sukuna could recall that moment so clearly, the fire that so hungrily devoured everything around him and the smell of bodies and smoke burning in his eyes. That hot, engulfing thing that took away everything and left nothing left. How he had stood there, staring at it, trembling, as pitiful as a moth in that roiling inferno. As pitiful as the emperor.
That last bit of fear that had lingered for so long in Sukuna, now felt controlled between his fingers as he pulled them back like an archer. Fire was there in his hands, forced to his control, divine in its destruction and ability to wipe everything away and leave only a beautiful, barren wasteland in its wake. Sukuna had let go of that fear, of that weak-willed child in his heart that died the moment Yuuji had left, drowning with him in those waves.
Now there was only power and complete control. There was nothing left to fear.
Sukuna smiled and let go of that arrow of flame, letting it fly forward. That burning arrow rushed forward out of the gate of the imperial city, colliding then into buildings, rushing along streets, and roaring with a howling anger that reflected every bit of empty hatred in what was left of the ruins of what was once a heart.
The emperor sat there, staring in horror as he watched his city and his people go up in flames while he could do nothing but scream wordlessly, like some beast.
All Sukuna could do was laugh, eyes wide and his grin maniacal as he watched another place of his childhood burn. It would burn away with every memory and leave nothing left and Sukuna could care less. All of that was pointless and useless. He laughed, a deep, pleased sound as he turned to Uraume, giving a tilt of his head.
“Is not this view so much better than the one before?”
“It is beautiful,” Uraume agreed, smiling as they looked peacefully on at the flames, “A much more fitting color for this wretched city,”
“Exactly,” Sukuna said with a sigh.
How a part of him wish he could show Yuuji this. What was before him was true beauty and pleasure. Sukuna had let go of everything of the past, all that pain and hurt, the suffering he felt, it was gone, replaced with only what he found deserving of being in this world.
He feared nothing. Not curses or sorcerers. Not the past nor future. Not even the flames that had once taken away everything was something to be feared now as he could hold it between his hands and decided where its hungry tongues would go.
He feared nothing. He loved nothing.
He felt nothing but pleasure.
Sukuna laughed, a loud sound that drowned out the screams of suffering and the howls of his father, left alive to witness all this and be unable to have death claim him.
Perfect. Everything was perfect in Sukuna’s world.
His perfect, unchallenged world, of which he ruled supreme as the king of curses.
Notes:
Next chapter is the big reunion.... I'm sure that has been anticipated for a loooong time now.
Chapter 14: Reunited
Notes:
It is finally here... the chapter where they reunite....I hope you are ready. Tissue boxes are ready ; w ;
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
For all the poetry there was of how the ocean was an ever changing fixture, from the surface, it changed so very little. The memory Yuuji had of it after so many years still held true now. The same deceptively calm horizon still seemed to stretch endlessly all around them, making the boat feel lost in a murky blue-green roll of heaving silks. At times the edges of the sea would be broken up by the faint outline of land rising up like a blue aura on the horizon, but as they moved by, those blurry half-formed shapes would be swallowed up once more.
There was a sense of peace with how the waves rolled up against the hull of the boat, but it was something Yuuji knew could change quickly and those playful splashes of foam would turn into fangs full of delighted hunger as the ocean swelled up to swallow all in its grasp. For now though, the weather had held and the monsoon winds were at their back, as if some invisible force was eagerly guiding them all back to Japan.
Yuuji felt like something was bringing them home, or maybe some sort of fate had already tied them all to this land, to a story that they had not yet finished.
The thought of home left Yuuji anxious, if only to wonder what had changed and what he would find when he returned. A part of him hoped that all was how he left it, but a wiser part of him knew that over these long years where he had left his early adulthood long behind, returning now well into his thirties, it was impossible for things to have remained the same. The world was ever changing and the stories that came out of Japan whispered of upheaval in the land.
There were talks of the imperial court being overrun with curses and the imperial heir rushed to some unknown fate. There were whispers of the Fujiwara clan losing its stranglehold on the country and the growing might of a new power in the countryside. All of this sat along a backdrop of horrible calamities that wandered the countryside that brought misery in their wake, and always present, a rumor of a man, now a king of curses, who’s cruelty was boundless. That final rumor had something clench in Yuuji’s chest as the sailors grimly spoke of the sins of which this king had committed. For Yuuji, the title King of Curses sat heavily in his heart. He had often teasingly called Sukuna that in their youth. It was such an innocent memory, now tainted by the horror stories that were being attributed to a monstrous man who was two-faced, doubled in arms, eyes, and mouths, who’s appetite for human flesh was spoken of in fear and his desires were to be met or he would show little care for whom he destroyed.
Yuuji hoped those rumors were not true but he knew better. He knew better for he had seen those atrocities play out before him in their infancy and could not find it in him to be surprised that the one he loved so dearly had walked such a path.
It did not stop Yuuji from holding out to some small hope though tha it was all a mistake. Hope was something Yuuji would always hold onto, even if he knew others would call it foolish.
“We should be arriving in Yamaguchi by noon tomorrow,”
Yuuji gave a small turn of his head to regard Nanami briefly before looking back out to see, “I see,” it was the only response he could find as his eyes fixed onto the horizon, “We are making good time then,”
“The crew are nervous about making port. Do you know why at all?”
Yuuji gave a small shrug, “The rumors speak for themselves. There is something going on in Japan that is stirring up curses and causing enough negative energy to fuel ones that no doubt are unlike any seen before,”
The pink-haired master exorcist frowned a touch, eyes narrowed, “We will have our work cut out for ourselves if that is the case,”
Nanami gave a small nod, clasping his hands behind his back, “According to Choso, you used to live in Yamaguchi for a time,”
“For a time yes,” Yuuji couldn’t help a bitter smile, “Not many fond memories of the place,”
“That makes two of us,” Nanami let out a small chuckle, “It was the last place I saw my mother before I was dragged off. A child with blond hair was something to be sold off after all,”
Yuuji glanced over at Nanami with a tilt of his head, “And you managed to escape and took on the path of a monk?”
“More a passing monk helped to free me and I had no where else to go but to follow along,” Nanami said with a shrug, “Life takes us all on strange paths,”
A quiet laugh escaped Yuuji as he straightened himself up, finally turning away from staring at the horizon, “That it does,” he agreed, “That it does,”
His own path had taken him to the roof of the world and back, across deserts, forests, and dense jungles that most men wouldn’t dare to traverse. He had seen the good and the wicked in the world, and now he was heading home, walking back the path he left before a new man, now wondering who or what would be waiting for him at the crossroads he left behind so long ago.
A shadow was growing longer across the water, even if Yuuji couldn’t see it, he could feel it, like something cold and grasping that wanted to drag him back to who he was before. That feeling followed Yuuji around the deck as he ate with his companions and chatted about Yamaguchi and later when he set to retire to bed. A shadow hung over him, standing in the corners in the darkness, eyes fixed upon him with want and accusation. Yuuji did not turn his head to regard those faint specters in his mind. Instead, his eyes were cast upwards to the play of moonlight that trickled in from above to splash gently over the room his hammock was.The gentle sway of the boat caused the timbers to creek around him with each small wave that rolled underneath the vessel. Megumi’s gentle snores mixed in with the other noises of the ship and Yuuji could hear Nobara shifting back and forth in her own sleep, restless as ever.
Yuuji listened to those noises for a few moments before he finally closed his own eyes and sought out rest. Sleep was slow to come that night. It felt strange how the noises of the real world slowly began to fade into those of his dreams. The rush of the ocean swelled around him, muted, as if the water had swallowed him up again as it had with the storm. He felt adrift, falling so slowly into darkness, eyes fixed above on a slow pale moon that seemed to grow larger even as he knew he was moving further away from it. With a stretch of one hand, Yuuji felt like he could run his fingers over that pale celestial body above, a moon. A face. Rows of teeth expanding outwards across the sky, splitting it with a wicked grin. Arms were wrapping about Yuuji, four strong ones with a hand about his neck. Fingers were digging into his skin, into his chest, searching for his heart as his breath left him. Hot breath fanned out across his blood-soaked throat as he tried to draw in breath to speak, but no words came.
“Yuuji,” a familiar, yet now so possessive and dark voice whispered, “Yuuji,”
The moon was so large now, burning bright like an eye as it bore into his soul, brighter than any star and sun until it started to flicker like flames. Yuuji reached out, even as those four hands tore into his body to try and keep him away and the fire, pale and burning, flicked over his skin.
Burning. Always burning. Everything was burning. And a voice screamed, letting go as Yuuji felt the flames drag over his skin, blistering and popping, melting to black cinders over darkening bones and the smell of flesh burning and deep down, Yuuji knew, deep down this was not a dream, but a reckoning, a whisper of things to-
“Yuuji!”
His eyes flew open as he sat up quickly and then he yelped as his skull cracked against Nobara as she had been leaned over to wake him up. She yelped as well, falling back and clutching her head before she was glaring and moving to give Yuuji a hard push out of his hammock.
“Ow! Why did you have to headbutt me!? I was just trying to wake you up, you idiot!” Nobara huffed, giving Yuuji a swift kick to the rear as he rushed to get to his feet.
“Hey! I was asleep!” Yuuji whined in protest as he shuffled away to avoid her kicks, “I didn’t even know you were leaned over me!”
“Well you should learn to wake up more gracefully!” Nobara retorted, “Megumi doesn’t wake up like a spring flower popping out of the snow!”
“And you probably don’t lean over him like you are checking a dead body!” Yuuji huffed as he made to scurry up onto the deck, “Why did you wake me up anyways?!”
“Land is in sight and getting closer,” Nobara paused then, glancing away and worrying her lower lip, “And you were tossing and turning like you were having a really bad dream,”
Yuuji stopped at the stairway to the top deck, giving a glance over a shoulder at his friend before looking ahead. He could still recall the dream, more a nightmare, that he had been having. It felt surreal in a way that still made him shiver. There was something locked away in that dream, like a memory almost, that he was trying to figure out even as the vision continued to fade little by little. A sigh fell from the master exorcist’s lips as he gave a shake of his head.
“I think the ocean just gives me some trouble sleeping,” he finally said quietly.
“You and Choso both,” Nobara gave a faint smile as she came up to pat Yuuji on the back, “Just know you can always talk to us about whatever is bothering you, yeah?”
“I know,” Yuuji rested his hand on top of hers with another smile, “I know,”
Yet it was hard to talk about the dream, just like it was hard to talk about the growing apprehension in Yuuji as the port of Yamaguchi grew closer with each passing minute. The sea had retreated, allowing the large mass of land to loom larger and larger out of it. The once misty grey blue was becoming sharper, now showing details of trees and forests. The city itself began to form, although right away Yuuji could sense something was wrong. The fishing boats weren’t out on the water as they should so early in the morning. In fact the dock itself looked nearly abandoned save a few wary trade ships quickly unloading what they had or taking stock of what they could. There was a feel of decay that had fallen over Yamaguchi. The buildings more worn and the people haggard looking and appearing like sunken eyed corpses that once were healthy and whole.
It felt so unfamiliar to Yuuji. True he had not many pleasant memories of the place, but there had been life here. The place had carried on with the usual hustle and bustle of living that was a normal experience upon this world. Now there was a negative malaise that crept through the street and allowing all sorts of little curses to manifest in ever crevice of the place. There was something wrong and it had Yuuji’s eyes narrowed as his sharpened senses reached out to try and trace those fingers of suffering through the streets to the owner of such misery.
“Cheerful place,” Megumi commented with a frown as he stepped onto the dock, “Feels more like a funeral procession,”
“Might as well be for how dead everyone looks,” Nobara said as she followed Megumi, shoulders tense, “A lot of curses here,”
Yuuji nodded, folding his hands within his black robes, trimmed with the golden sash of a master exorcist, “We can set off a purification ritual in the city center to start driving them off,” he said, “Then what is left, we can confront and banish,”
Choso frowned a touch, “Will that do anything though?”
“Any little bit of kindness can help when people are this desperate for a ray of light,” Yuuji said, starting to walk forward, “But there is somewhere I want to visit first,”
Megumi cocked an eyebrow,” Really?”
Yuuji nodded with a humorless smile, “My old home,” he said queitly.
There was a silence among the group, a quiet understanding as he had told his companions at length about Sukuna. It was hard not to talk about himself without mentioning his darker half, the man he loved and left. Perhaps some part of Yuuji thought that Sukuna still lived in this dying city, holed up in that inn just waiting for Yuuji to come back. A childish thought, but it lingered nonetheless as Yuuji walked the unfamiliar streets to where the inn stood. There was little left of it now. It had been left to rot for some time, the front door hanging open. Pain hung in Yuuji’s chest as he looked over the inn, recalling a time he stood shoulder to shoulder with Sukuna, his lover so very proud of being able to open it.
Yuuji could remember the hope and his own pride as they stepped through it and talked about how they could make it into the best inn in the port. If things had stayed that, with just the two of them running a successful inn, maybe he would never have left this port or left Sukuna. That dream though was long dead, just like the rotted, lonely building before him, yawning empty and abandoned.
Yuuji raised one of his hands and murmured a brief chant to banish the vicious curses that had taken up residence in the place, purifying the shell of a building before he entered. All that was left were broken tables and a kitchen with only a few rusted pots and pans left on a fire long since dead. The old ledgers Yuuji found at least told a story that the inn had struggled on up until at least five years ago. The last owner’s blood was splattered over those records, his skeletal remains, headless on the floor as if cut from his shoulders with pinpoint precision. Yuuji quietly wrapped the remains up and whispered a prayer over them, hoping the soul that once inhabited the body could now find peace.
Carefully Yuuji ascended the stairs, the upstairs of the inn more dilapidated than the first floor. The rooms had been left to rot long ago. At the far end, the room that had been the one he shared with Sukuna laid closed tight with a lock upon it that easily gave away now with a small tug.
The room was dusty. The wealth that Sukuna had so indulged in now looked so shabby and pathetic. The rich tapestries were moth-eaten and torn at the edges, their colorful pictures worn by long years of sun. The carpets on the floor were moldering. The fine silks long wasted away and all the fine little trinkets, dulled with age. Yuuji picked up a figurine of a tiger that Sukuna had so loved for how the beast snarled and he ran his finger over the surface. The gilded gold beneath peaked out, gleaming in the snippets of sunlight that came in through the ceiling.
The whole place filled Yuuji with a melancholy, although there was nothing to be sad about. Such wealth eventually was forgotten he supposed. In the end, none of it had mattered enough to Sukuna to take it with him. It was a room that spoke of no joy, just things that could surround a person to try and make them feel something again. What surprised Yuuji was how little the room had changed since he left, in terms of where everything was placed.
It felt almost like a tomb, especially with the little altar in the corner. Yuuji approached and knelt down before the altar, noting that this part of the room looked less worn out. There was signs of fresh offerings, at least more so than the rest of the inn. A least a few weeks or a month old. There was less dust here and Yuuji found himself reaching out to pick up the burnt remains of incessant, wondering to who this altar was dedicated to.
There was no name on the little funeral pyre, or maybe the name had long since been rubbed away with time. Yuuji sat before it, feeling like he sat before his own grave, or a grave dedicated to the memory of someone he had long since grown away from. He placed the incessant back down and let out a soft sigh, bowing his head in prayer and bringing his hangs together. To whatever lost soul this had been made for, he wished them peace before he rose to his feet and gave a final look around before leaving.
Sukuna was long gone. Only the imprint of his passing. Where he was now, was anyone’s guess.
By the time Yuuji came downstairs, his companions were in the lobby of the inn, setting a table upright with a map of Japan spread out as they talked about where to go after they concluded their business in the port city. Yuuji drifted over, grateful for the feel of life again as he offered them a smile.
“Already planning?”
“It is good to be prepared,” Nanami said, eyes fixed on the map, “Especially with all the rumors floating about and new powers rising. Everyone is talking about how it is the end of an era, the fall of everything,”
“The Fujiwara are losing power,” Megumi explained, glancing over to Yuuji, “And seems a warlord in the countryside is rallying sorcerers to his banner not only to take the country by storm, but to start pushing back against these curses plaguing the land,”
“A noble enough cause,” Yuuji said, folding his hands into his robe, “I still think we should work on our own or see how the Jujutsu Sorcerers in the region are aligning themselves before we make a choice,”
Nobara let out a sigh, “If any are about. I can’t imagine they would let cities get this bad if they were at full strength,”
“The king of curses is said to actively hunt and kill sorcerers,” Megumi murmured, “At least according to the locals, but I have a hunch it is more the other way around with the sorcerers trying to hunt this bastard down first,”
Nanami pursed his lips as he rubbed his chin, “The capitol is in ruins still. Many of the larger cities have been hit with problems. Famine, plague, and unrest are spreading, “he let out a sigh, “Guess that means our work is cut out for us,”
Yuuji offered a smile to his companions, “Or that is the reason we needed to come back. I think we all want to see the homeland we imagine right? Certainly can’t leave it looking like a version of hell on earth,”
A chuckle escaped Choso, tired, but he couldn’t help a smile as he looked over at Yuuji, “Ever the optimist, aren’t we?”
The master exorcist opened his mouth to speak, to respond to that light teasing only for his head to snap towards the door as the sound of screams began to fill the air. The sounds were a ways away still, but the volume and sheer terror sent something cold racing down his spine. Yuuji was out the door before anyone could say a word as he reacted on pure instincts. It didn’t take a master to realize that sound indicated a powerful curse was attacking or some bandit group was taking advantage of peasants with so little to their name.
Whatever the case, Yuuji was not about to stand by idly when his calling in life was to lead others forward to a peaceful life. The feel of cursed energy was oppressive and already he could see curses starting to crawl out, attacking and going after what few residents still clung to Yamaguchi for some form of shelter. Yuuji threw himself quickly into action, one fist connecting hard with a curse before he turned to land a number of blows on another one. The wretched remnants of humanity let out shrieks of alarm as they were ripped apart and banish.
Beside Yuuji, the howl of Megumi’s dogs were heard as they leaped into battle, followed by a spray of nails as Nobara applied her trade to the fray. Beside them, Nanami was making short work of those vicious curses that tried to run and Choso let not a single one escape his attacks, piercing through multiple ones at once. It took mere seconds for them to clear the area, although Yuuji was already rushing forward, lifting up a hand to let lose a small slip of paper that burned before forming a ball of light that spun forward.
“These smaller ones will keep coming unless we tackle the source,” Yuuji called out, “I’ll find the core of this unrest, you get as many people as you can evacuated to safety! Drop down a divine barrier of the forth heaven and a mist!”
“Got it!” Nobara shouted, “You can count on us!”
“Be careful!” Megumi added, a frown on his lips, “Something is off about this energy,”
Choso’s eyes narrowed as he grimly regarded Yuuji, “If you don’t return soon, I’m coming to find you,”
Yuuji gave a nod, not about to try and argue with his brother, “Of course. Hopefully I can find and banish what is causing this, but in either case, the people are not safe in this city!”
He gave one last glance to his friends with a nod, before he was running off. On his own, he was a one-man army against the curses, slaughtering them with ease and allowing their energy to finally dissipate and find some rest. The screams of people were growing as he moved towards the outskirts of the city as fleeing peasants from the countryside all but stampeded into the relative safety of the city despite the swarms of curses. Whatever was at their back seemed more terrifying than what was before them.
A mother was rushing behind the others, trailing like a wounded animal. Her leg bleeding from a slash as she pulled her daughter along in haste, desperate for safety but their hollow eyes full of terror held no hope that they would survive this day. Both had tears in their eyes, so desperate to live, but were nothing but wounded rabbits trying to find shelter. Something was hunting them, callous and cruel, that much Yuuji could sense. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle as a surge of energy built and then was sent forward. The master exorcist rushed forward both hands outstretched as he slid between them and the incoming blow. His own cursed energy surged up, precise and well trained as he reatched out to touch that blow, forcing that powerful slash away, dispelling it with his own technique. A sutra of protection fell from his lips as he surged his energy, pushing away several more attacks, sending them cutting wildly into the trees to the right and left. The groan of toppling trees and splintering wood filled the air, sending up foliage and debris. Yuuji stood there, eyes fixed ahead even as as a cloud of dust rose up before him.
He was aware of the mother and daughter stared up at him wonder from where they lay on the ground, but he didn’t turn to speak to them, as ever, his eyes fixed on the feel of his foe approaching, the source of this hideous attack.
“Get to the city. I have companions there that can help you evacuate,” he said quickly, eyes narrowed, “Go,”
The mother nodded as she clutched her daughter close and hobbled away, for the first time, a hope in her eyes that caused her to push herself forward with new purpose.
Yuuji didn’t allow himself a smile as he stood there. Silence stretched on as the dust continued to rise. The horrific cursed energy that loomed before him was so dense, hateful, and familiar in a way Yuuji couldn’t quiet put his finger on. All the hair on the back of f Yuuji’s neck stood up on ends as he held his ground, keeping his gaze forward as he sensed the source of this aura start to approach, just out of sight, wrapped up in the debris and dust thrown up by the attack. The silence was ripped apart by a low, dark chuckle dripping with wicked amusement, like the sound of a predator coming upon some new prey to play with.
“Well well, been a while since I had someone strong enough to actually redirect my attack,” a voice said, almost bored with a bare flicker of interest. A deep and familiar voice that had Yuuji’s heart seizing up in his chest, “But feels like you might be a bit more competent than the last pack of monks that showed up,”
Yuuji couldn’t speak as a massive silhouette started to come out of the dust. The man before him had four arms and was clad in a dark kimono that was worn loosely, almost slovenly. It allowed for a smirking second mouth on the man’s stomach to be clearly seen, those teeth glistening already with blood from some poor soul that had been ripped apart. Yuuji’s wide-eyed gaze met four narrowed red eyes and he found himself unable to speak. It wasn’t fear that froze him though, but a growing horror as the speaker revealed himself with a tilt of his head and a smirk on his lips, four eyes fixed on Yuuji.
“Ah, a master exorcist. That’s a first. It has been a long time since I’ve seen-”
“Sukuna?”
The king of curses’ words died on his lips as he stood there. Those four eyes now fixed on Yuuji, looking over him and there was finally a spark of recognition. Red eyes widened and that confident, amused expression fell to a childish shock, like a child being caught by a parent doing some wicked crime. Sukuna took a small step back, as if some ghost had come before him, some specter of his past he had tried to buried that had clawed itself back to life.
A long dead heart, rotten with violence and hatred for the world throbbed again for the first time in ages, unable to stop fluttering with that curse of love as he looked at the pink-haired, scarred master exorcist that stood before him.
“Yuuji?”
All the master exorcist could do was give a small nod to the question, “Yeah, its me,”
There had been so many other things Yuuji wanted to say, wanted to do, but nothing but that soft response came out, like he was a small boy again, simply greeting Sukuna after they had been apart a few hours.
Not the many years, a decade, that stretched between them.
Sukuna just stood there, staring, his brow furrowed as he tried to understand what stood before him, as if to try and even see if this was all real, “But you died,” Sukuna finally said, voice flat, confused, “You drowned in the ocean,”
“No,” Yuuji took a breath, but didn’t back an inch, his honey orbs boring into Sukuna’s red one with a horror and sadness that had no words to describe it, “I survived,”
The wind swirled the dust lightly about them. All had fallen silent as they stood staring at each other and the reality of the situation fell upon them both. For Sukuna, it felt like some horrible trick, a wretched joke come to settle on his shoulders. For Yuuji, it was pity to see how twisted Sukuna had become, and the quiet pain of knowing this is the path Sukuna had taken when left to make his own choices in life.
“You’ve...been alive all this time?” Sukuna finally asked, voice above a whisper.
Sukuna found himself stepping forward, one hand rising towards Yuuji, as if wanting to touch him, yet something in the eyes of his old lover, the one person that still was the very world to him, had him pause. For the first time since he begun his rampage and assumed his throne as a king of curses, Sukuna felt a judgment upon him that made his skin crawl. All the horrors of his past, every crime, every sin, felt like it was being exposed. His tattoos felt like snakes burrowing under his skin as Yuuji’s firm gaze stayed upon him.
“I have,” Yuuji said, taking a steadying breath, his expression serene, but filled with such pity for Sukuna.
“And you never came back until now?” Sukuna felt a hint of anger in his voice, “You made me think all this time you were dead?”
“I had my own path to take,” Yuuji said simply, “I could never return until I was strong enough to stand on my own two legs and face this world with a clear mind. I could not return with how I was,”
A sneer started to tug at Sukuna’s lips as he stepped closer, trying to loom over Yuuji, but the other man seemed to stand so much taller, as if he were no longer of this world and could gaze down at Sukuna even if he stood on top a mountain, “So you left me,”
“I left you to whatever path you wanted to take, no longer held down by what you perceived as my weakness,” Yuuji said firmly, “And I’ve come back now hoping that what I saw before in you hadn’t been the truth the whole time. That there was a chance for us to start again and finally speak freely to each other without holding daggers over each other’s necks,”
Those words cut through Sukuna in ways he couldn’t explain. These were not the kind words Yuuji would share with him. Yuuji who would forgive him for everything if it meant they could be close. Now there was something powerful in Yuuji, something unbending and unyielding.
Something that looked upon Sukuna with the utmost pity but would not grovel in forgiveness.
Sukuna couldn’t help the sneer on his lips and the anger in his soul as he took a few more steps forward, starting to prowl about Yuuji like a hunting tiger.
“Oh? And what is that? Have years of being your friend, your lover, suddenly made you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you Sukuna, but I cannot look away from everything you done anymore,” Yuuji responded, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice, that awful pity, “I heard rumors, stories of the king of curses, and believe me, I wished none of them were true,”
Sukuna let out a laugh, “When you died, Yuuji, I had no reason to be moral. Do you feel guilt for what your absence has done?”
“No,” Yuuji’s voice was firm, without hesitation, “You did this to yourself Sukuna. You would hold this over my head, guilt me that me leaving would unleash all this. But you would have done this with our without me there,”
Yuuji began to step, circling back with a calm that Sukuna despised. This Yuuji that was beyond his reach now, yet so achingly close, “So now what? You come to kill me?” Sukuna sneered, “Put me down like a mad dog?”
“I come to set things right and make up for past mistakes and to give you your peace,” Yuuji responded, “You took one path, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t others you could take. It doesn’t mean you are beyond mercy,”
“In another life right?” Sukuna drawled mockingly, “That I’ll be a well behaved soul again? That I’ll walk a different path?”
Yuuji’s gaze was judgment incarnated, peering into his soul, pulling away his every lie and sin to see him at his core. It was if Yuuji could still see and feel the beat of his heart that sobbed at this encounter. That so many years apart, so many years of thinking Yuuji dead, and now this was how the met, as enemies on opposite sides. Two forces colliding and fighting to make their vision clear.
Sukuna hated it. He wanted to pluck out Yuuji’s eyes and render him blind where all he could do was listen to him again. That was the Yuuji he wanted to hold. The one who followed him. Held his hand without question and listened to all his sweet lies like they were promises for the future. How Sukuna wanted to whisper about how all this love was pointless. What mattered was possession of pleasure and nothing more. They could melt together in carnal pleasure, like animals, and tear into each other, pulling flesh from bone and drink and feast until the inevitable end of everything.
That was the Yuuji Sukuna wanted to cling to.
However, the Yuuji that stood before him now looked down upon him with pity, like a damn Bodhisattva that still saw some reason to offer him redemption despite everything he did. A soul too big, too pure, that it smothered and contained Sukuna so tightly. A suffocating curse of love for him. For this world. To see the struggles of everything and all the rot and find a beauty in it worth protecting. Such purity burned Sukuna’s souls in way that made him want to scream in useless rage.
All the while Yuuji’s heart was breaking. He had let go of Sukuna long ago, but it didn’t make this ache any less painful. His heart was free to feel its grief and to still reach out to try and find Sukuna once more and let him know that this path wasn’t inevitable. It was made of choices and no one had to make the same choices again and again. Everyone was born free to become someone. No one was destined to become evil. For Sukuna, Yuuji would fight if he had to, just to let Sukuna know that if he were to walk a path again, this time he would hold his hand more tightly, for he alone always could walk alongside him.
Yuuji took a step for every step the king of curses took. They circled each other like two koi in a pond, two competing winds, two currents in the ocean, two tigers ready to rip each other apart.
The pain was raw in both knowing nothing could ever be the same as it was. Not now.
Not ever.
Not until one of them finally broke.
Sukuna let out a bitter laugh, all four eyes narrowed as he regarded his foe with absolute malice, “Isn’t it ironic that it has come to this? How many times did you save my life and I yours, only for us now to be all too ready to kill each other as enemies?”
“We are only enemies because you want to be,” Yuuji responded, “I made a vow to keep you safe and protect you Sukuna and sometimes that means saving you from yourself,”
“Oh? If that is the case, why didn’t you do that before?” Sukuna sneered, “Did you need to find some new piety in order to have the higher moral ground to stare down at me in contempt?”
Yuuji’s gaze never faltered, his expression didn’t change from that horrible pity, “I don’t claim any moral high ground, Sukuna. I’ve done my fair part in this story too and tried to remain blind to cling to my own happiness, but I can’t do that anymore,”
He gave a small smile that made Sukuna bare his teeth like a scorned animal, “But I think you said it yourself, so long ago, people who surround themselves with wealth or that which makes them happy, sometimes do it to cover up how miserable they are. Like those women in the inn. The nobles. The people we have met all our lives that you looked down on,”
Yuuji tilted his head, those hated eyes boring right into Sukuna’s soul, pulling apart his every philosophy in so few words, “The pitiful irony is how you became the very thing you detested all your life,”
Sukuna flinched at that, baring his teeth in a sardonic smile that was more a feral grimace. He raised himself to his full height, his hands already coming together in the familiar gesture of his domain, although the shrine he built no longer protected the one it was made for.
“Cheeky brat,” Sukuna spat, a laugh bubbling up from him, a crazed sound as his eyes focused on Yuuji, “I guess all there is left to do is break you and show you that I was right all this time and throw your words right back in your face. I’ve never been more at peace, more content than I am now, no longer needing to play pretend to what I wish to do to people,”
Yuuji sighed, his eyes softening even as he took a fighting stance, his own hands coming together in a symbol, a shrine he was building to save the one soul that no one else would bother to grant mercy to,”And you will continue to doubt everything I say just to be right,”
The master exorcist looked at Sukuna with that pity and a smile on his lips, looking so much like the Yuuji Sukuna clung to in his memories. That kindness and compassion still there as he stood tall, ready to fight , not to save himself. Yuuji would never save himself.
It was always to save him.
“I still love you Sukuna, and that won’t change, not in a thousand lifetimes, not if forget you. Love is always what I will hold for you and it is why I can’t help but pity you and wish to save you,” Yuuji declared, “But I can’t forgive what you have done. Not this time,”
Yuuji tensed, his body like a wire ready to snap as he prepared for the inevitable confrontation, “The only one who can forgive you now, is yourself, and you won’t ever do that as you’ll have to admit how wrong you were,”
Sukuna snarled, eyes blazing with a maniacal hate as those words ripped apart his heart.
“And I’ll enjoy breaking you into a thousand pieces and make you watch me wash this world clean with blood,” the king of curses sneered.
Both them opened their domains at the same time in a powerful burst of energy.
Sukuna’s domain unfolded around him as it expanded like was hateful ocean, only to crash against Yuuji’s own as it unfolded like a serene landscape that promised so much. Their domains seemed to meld into each other, their boarders unable to be defined as they swirled about. It was a tapestry of blood and nature, hope and despair, love and hate. Even now, as Sukuna rushed forward to meet Yuuji, with the mad desire to rip him apart, he wished so desperately to hold him close.
They were two souls, two hearts, forever bound together. Two parts of a cycle, joined together to circle forever like a tiger devouring its own tail.
The two sorcerers came together with a clash of power that sent the ground cracking with the ferocity of their energy. Neither one was backing down as their wills tangled. Two paths that had once more touched at a crossroad, now set to violence. They had fought before, trained together and in those days, Sukuna had always had the upper hand. Now, neither one could struggle ahead, both evenly matched. For every slash and cleave that ripped across the ground towards Yuuji, there was a deflection and a vicious punch sent forward with unnerving accuracy, sparks of black dancing about in flashes, as if they came now so natural to Yuuji. There was a focus that was so linked to this world and his emotions that made Yuuji powerful. He breathed with the flow of the battle while Sukuna raged within it, grinning as if he enjoyed this fight when he hated every moment.
This fight brought the king of curses no pleasure, even though he knew it should.
Here stood an opponent that could match his strength and challenge him properly after so many days, so many years, of boredom. Yuuji now could stand as his equal, matching Sukuna blow for blow with powerful strikes that made the king of curses’ soul tremble with that echoing resonance. They twirled around each other in a vicious dance, exchanging blows and clashes of cursed energy that was tearing up the surrounding area. It was a perfect storm and so utterly destructive and elegant.
Yet with every strike, Sukuna felt his anger only grow. A deeply hidden hatred was clawing its way out as Yuuji fought against him, like some self-righteous mirror into Sukuna’s own soul. Yuuji was everything he could have been and could have had.
For all that Sukuna had snarled that Yuuji had needed him, in the end, the other boy had grown stronger and better without him there. After all these years, it had always been Sukuna who so desperately needed his other half to feel anything for this wretched world that never wanted him at all.
Only Yuuji who had ever held a hand and wanted him so innocently. How Sukuna wished he could have ripped that hand apart.
Sukuna snarled, teeth bared as he slammed another powerful hit towards Yuuji, only for the master exorcist to dance around the blow and come in with a flurry of his own, forcing the king of curses on the defensive for a few steps before ultimate the tide turned again with a deceive knee and low kick launched to mess up Yuuji’s footwork. Then it was Yuuji back on the defensive, ducking and weaving until eventually the tide would turn again and again. Back and forth they went, like the coming and going of the tide.
“I didn’t imagine this was how we would ever meet again, Yuuji, “Sukuna snarled, “More I thought I would see you in another life!”
“Maybe that is how it will end up,” Yuuji retorted, “Given that it is now impossible for us to live together in this life!”
“Because you left me!”
“Because I had to leave!”
Another clash of energy as their fists collided again and again, slashes erupting only to be brushed aside as their domains melded and melted together around them, like two oceans trying to sweep the other up and prove their point right.
“You could have stayed!” Sukuna snarled, “And all of this wouldn’t have happened!”
“It was already going to happen Sukuna. It had already started years ago,” Yuuji’s retorted, “You cannot blame me for what you became!”
The brat’s words were punctuated with a glare that made Sukuna feel like his heart was being squeezed within his chest and choked out by the rising hatred for someone he had once loved so dearly. That he still loved so dearly. That he hated he couldn’t lock Yuuji away from the whole world so only he could see and cradle him close.
Sukuna’s four eyes were wide with rage as he moved to pull back his hands in preparation of a new gesture, “And yet in the end, here you are, just arriving back to kill me,”
“I only returned home. I was hoping that this would not be the case, Sukuna. I would never want this to be our fate!” Yuuji shouted back, taking a fighting stance.
There was so much Sukuna wanted to say in that moment. So many words caught in his throat, burning in his chest, and simmering in his stomach. Yet all that wanted to come out was the anger and hatred like a torrent of black muck from his lips. He was drowning in that feeling and all he wanted to do was cut Yuuji apart and put him back together in a way that fit his twisted world better, just as he had for Uraume.
He wanted to make the world right in the vicious ways he saw fit.
Sukuna raised his hands, feeling that fire of hatred burning and the desire to make it all burn grew within him. He grinned, wide and vicious as he regarded Yuuji, “Then let me welcome you home properly, but showing you how much I don’t need you anymore,”
He could see Yuuji grit his teeth and tense up, as if he could stop what was coming. Sukuna could have laughed, and maybe he did, all but ready to make the brat suffer. What he did not expect was for a sudden, horrific burst a pain crashing into the left side of his face. Blood filled his vision and he jolted back, a hand raising up as a pair of nails drove into his eyes. Yuuji jumped as well, eyes widening as the king of curses roared in rage,grasping at his face as the cursed energy imbued in those nails acted like a poison to his resonance, rejecting his cursed technique. He grasped onto the nails, pulling them free as more blood poured out. A hateful glare was now fixed on the two sorcerers who stood behind them, their energy radiating with power.
It made his heart clench in fury as Yuuji looked to the two, the woman with more nails in hand and the tired eyed man that glared at Sukuna with his own fury for even daring to approach Yuuji.
“We got everyone to safety Yuuji,” Choso said, his look grim and palms together, “We need to make a retreat now in order to get them far away from here,”
“But I can’t-”
“You are the one who always says we got to look out for each other and others!” Nobara snapped interrupting Yuuji’s protest, “And we need your help to keep the right barriers up!”
Sukuna held one hand against his bleeding face, feeling his cursed energy swell to try and heal the wound, but the damn nails, that woman’s wretched resonance, was making it impossible. He was seeing red, Yuuji now washed in red from his two good eyes, the other two ruined. He hesitated a moment before he nodded, taking a step back with his two companions.
“Let’s go,”
Sukuna felt something snap in him and he let out a roar of rage, sending a slash towards the two that Yuuji barely deflected away, “Are you leaving me again, Yuuji!? Are you running away from me!?”
Yuuji didn’t answer, giving him a pitying look before he was quickly taking off with the two. Blood was in Sukuna’s eyes, his face a bleeding mess as he stared wide-eyed at the retreating back of his once lover, his whole world, his better half, his very heart. There was nothing in Sukuna’s chest but an aching pain that had never gone away nor could it be covered by all that he had done.
No pleasure filled that void that now only grew as the one who once could encompass everything ran from him again.
“Yuuji!” Sukuna roared, spit flying from his mouth as he stood there, clutching his face, “You won’t leave me again, do you hear me!? I’ll find you, you brat! I’ll rip your legs off, force you to my side one way or another! I’ll kill everything you hold dear and show you that I’m all that matters!”
The silence was all that answered Sukuna.
He couldn’t help fill it with a broken, maniacal laughter as he stood there, his hand falling away as his cursed energy surrounded the wound, forcing it to heal in monstrous ways. Or maybe now he was just starting to look like the vicious contours of his soul at last. It was like wood spreading over his face, taking root and growing out as two new bulging eyes replaced those that were wounded.
He despised those who had interrupted. They were intruders, once more luring away Yuuji from him. They spoke as if there was anything more important than what had to be settled between him and his former lover.
Sukuna felt a snarling sneer pull up as lips, soon dragging into a manic smile, “I’ll kill them all Yuuji. As many as it takes, as long as it takes,” Sukuna said, a laugh, desperate and pained in every word, “You won’t beable to ever leave me. Never again,”
Because he wouldn’t leave anyone left around Yuuji by the end of this, he swore. The brat, Yuuji, was his. Always was his.
And this time, he wouldn’t let him slip away through his hands.
“I vow that you will be mine, Yuuji, and if I cannot have you, then my life is forfeit,” Sukuna snarled, clenching all four hands, “I’ll make you see that I was always right, you wretched bastard!”
Sukuna let out a laugh at that, throwing his head back. Oh he would make the brat pay, make everyone pay. They would be forced to confront the monster they had all made together, born to be a curse from the start, and let them see that he was their destruction that would pull this world apart so the bloody remains could be put together as he saw fit.
He would make sure of it this time.
The king of curses raised both hands, letting fire form between his fingers as he looked down at the port city. He would make known his ire, let Yuuji feel how this whole city would have to burn for his mistake to retreat from him again.
Just like the city after that. And the next.
He would burn as many things as it took to the ground before Yuuji stood before him, ready to bend knee to his knew king and worship him again.
As Sukuna would make sure of, even if he had to cut the brat’s legs off at the knees.
Whatever it took to ease the horrible aching hole in his chest.
Notes:
This fic is so dark, I'm so sorry ; w ; and things are going to start getting worse.... I hope you enjoyed regardless and still eager to see the next chapter!
Pages Navigation
Without_a_Clue on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 01:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 04:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
KingSock6242 on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 01:35AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 04:32AM UTC
Comment Actions
justmeagain on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 04:52AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 06:27AM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 12:40PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 05:14PM UTC
Comment Actions
onionjin on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 02:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 04:42PM UTC
Comment Actions
LariValk on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 05:01PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Dec 2023 05:51PM UTC
Comment Actions
tangled_tangent on Chapter 1 Fri 29 Dec 2023 08:56PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
etereaaaa on Chapter 1 Sun 14 Jan 2024 06:46PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Mon 15 Jan 2024 05:13AM UTC
Comment Actions
Nyx (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 01 Apr 2024 02:07AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Mon 01 Apr 2024 02:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
summer164 on Chapter 1 Tue 28 May 2024 07:44AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Tue 28 May 2024 08:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
Nylazor on Chapter 1 Thu 01 Aug 2024 07:24AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Thu 01 Aug 2024 12:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Irisyhhw (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 17 Sep 2024 05:42AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Wed 18 Sep 2024 03:35AM UTC
Comment Actions
Irisyhhw (Guest) on Chapter 1 Wed 18 Sep 2024 04:56AM UTC
Comment Actions
Mahitoes (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sat 28 Sep 2024 01:52PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Tue 01 Oct 2024 03:22AM UTC
Comment Actions
ToruMune on Chapter 1 Fri 10 Jan 2025 12:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 1 Sat 11 Jan 2025 06:28AM UTC
Comment Actions
ToruMune on Chapter 1 Sat 11 Jan 2025 12:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
Katri0u on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 08:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:03AM UTC
Comment Actions
Scarlet_Blade9 on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 08:46PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:05AM UTC
Comment Actions
Without_a_Clue on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 08:51PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
Cogni_Diss on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 09:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:26AM UTC
Comment Actions
RENHOIZ on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 10:27PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
sugarcrazedduckie on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Dec 2023 10:42PM UTC
Comment Actions
macabrecabra on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Dec 2023 04:01AM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation