Chapter Text
Dimitri was bored. Very bored.
Chin rested on his fist, he gazed out the window, past the iron bars and across the rugged wilderness below, endless tuffs of trees fading into the mist. At the horizon were jagged mountains capped with ice. It was a never changing scenery Dimitri looked upon, from the break of dawn to the end of the day, a view he was accustomed to since he was a child.
The flanking tower was one of many in his father’s stronghold, the largest one, as matter of fact. It had two levels: the first being Dimitri’s room and the improvised training area on its roof. Dimitri spent most of his days—if not, nearly his entire life—in his room, lying on his bed staring at the stony ceiling, looking out the window, sharpening his lance, looking out the window, polishing his armor, and looking out the window. Sometimes, he did combat training on the second floor, swiping at practice dummies and jogging around with weights strapped on his back. However, whenever there were dark rainstorms and harsh blizzards, or once the last dummy was disseminated, Dimitri found himself back in his room once again.
A flash of movement caught Dimitri’s ice-blue eyes. Looking down, he watched a brood of fledglings chirping about in their nest. They were funny-looking things, with their wings seemingly small and skinny for their chubby bodies and tuffs of downy feathers on their heads. Out of all trees in the forest, their mother and father chose to raise the family on the tower’s window ledge. It did not make sense for Dimitri, however, at least it was new entertainment for him.
The fledgling hopped about, flapping their wings. One of them, the smallest one, was pushed by a sibling. Dimitri sucked in a quick breath as it stumbled out of the safety of its nest onto the window ledge. It hobbled about, disoriented and confused, oblivious to the nearing ledge.
Come here, Dimitri stuck an open palm through the bars in the fledgling’s path, begging for it to come. It hopped forward, paused, looked around, and hopped into Dimitri’s hand.
Dimitri breathed a sigh of relief. However, his reprise was short-lived. A new terror took over.
Dimitri’s hand shook wildly as Dimitri carried the fledgling towards its nest. His fingers quivered violently, like if Dimitri was straining himself to keep his hand open as long as possible.
Come on, come one! Dimitri begged, watching the fledgling anxiously. Jump into your nest—Just jump into it now!
The fledgling tottered in Dimitri’s hand, facing him. Then, it turned around, hopped to the edge of his fingers, and took a leap, making a crash-landing back into its nest.
Dimitri gave enough relieved sigh, this one much louder than the previous.
Most of Dimitri’s memories were within or atop his tower. A some were in other places of the stronghold when his father, Rufus, was home. Such memories were uncommon. Rufus was often gone for weeks straight to take care of his matters, matters he never told Dimitri about. Dimitri only had one memory of when he was outside, a memory he would never forget. When he was four or five years old, somehow, by sheer luck, he managed to slip outside of the stronghold. He remembered the awe and joy he felt as he strolled through the trees, smelling in the fresh scent of leaves, splashing through a twinkling stream, and listening to the singing birds above.
The first—and last—strange thing Dimitri found was a red-brown creature with large, beady black eyes, four paws, and a fluffy, bushy tail that reminded him of the fur blanket on his bed. Upon approaching, Dimitri sensed something was wrong. The poor animal—a squirrel, Dimitri would later learn—was hobbling on three feet, its fourth held high.
Maybe Father knows how to help it, Dimitri thought, going up to pick up the animal.
A horrified squeak rung through the woods. The squirrel frantically squirmed in Dimitri’s hands, clawing its nails into skin and sinking its teeth into his finger. By reflex, Dimitri tightened his grasp,
—there was a flash of electric-blue light,
—a loud, disgusting crack,
—and the squirrel went limp.
Everything after that was a panicked blur. Dimitri rushed back to stronghold, the unmoving squirrel in his arms, sobbing as he ran up to the guard at the stronghold’s entrance, and wailing as the guard escorted him to Rufus.
Rufus could not do anything about the squirrel. In fact, he barely cared about it. He was livid at Dimitri for slipping out of his tower and the stronghold. After yelling at Dimitri and calling him a stupid, bothersome child, he turned to the guard and shouted how incompetent he was.
The guard left trembling beneath his armor. Then, Rufus whipped around again, giving Dimitri a fiery glare.
Dimitri’s legs gave out.
“This,” Rufus growled, tossing the squirrel corpse at Dimitri’s feet. “Is why you must never leave your tower. You are a danger. You see now?!”
Cowering in a corner, Dimitri looked at Rufus with large, fearful eyes and nodded.
Dimitri would later learn that his strength was linked to something called a Crest. According to his mother, Cornelia, Crests were curses bestowed by the goddess herself. When a soul of her most despised enemies was reincarnated on the land, she granted them with a Crest as retribution. Crest bearers were cursed with destructive powers. A few would even eventually transform into monstrous beasts. Because of this, babies born with Crests were murdered at birth. Those that survived to adulthood were persecuted for death.
“But you have nothing to worry here,” Cornelia reassured in a sugary voice, running a hand through Dimitri’s locks. The young boy was sitting in her lap. “Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We are here to protect you from others and yourself. Remember that.”
Since then, Dimitri never climbed onto Cornelia’s lap again. He was afraid of hurting her by accident.
A bassy horn bellowed across the woods. Looking up, Dimitri set away the chestplate he was polishing and hurried to the window. Father was home. Below, the stronghold gates opened with gritted groans. In the courtyard, came a middle-aged man mounted on a horse. He took off his cloak’s hood, revealing sullen grey-blue eyes and shoulder-length blond hair, all the same color as Dimitri’s. Following him were his soldiers. They hauled in a wooden cart full of crates.
As the men began unloading the cart, the sound of several locks unlocking echoed up the stairwell. Then, a knock was made on the door.
“Dimitri,” Cornelia sang out. “Your father is back.”
Dimitri hurried down the stairs to the door. His heels clopped on the stone steps, and his footsteps echoed down the hollow interior.
“You look awfully excited,” Cornelia remarked when Dimitri came out. “Are you that eager to see your father?”
“Yes, I am,” Dimitri replied, as he and Cornelia went down the corridors.
“I wish that your father shared the same eagerness. He is always searching for reasons to leave the stronghold to avoid you,” Cornelia laughed. “Why the frown? I’m just teasing you.”
“Uh… heheh,” Dimitri forced a laugh. Cornelia made many jokes at his expense, but he always reminded himself that teasing was a way she showed her love for him. Mother, like Father, loved him, even though it did not feel like it.
(Though, to be honest with himself, Dimitri was more excited to leave his tower for once than to see his father.)
(Dimitri also had a very important request to ask, a question he wanted to ask since last week.)
Rufus dismounted his steed, just as when Cornelia and Dimitri entered the courtyard.
“Welcome back,” Cornelia greeted, throwing her arms around Rufus. The pair exchanged kisses. “How were your travels?”
“Very well. I’ve spoke to the Count across the seas.”
“And?” Cornelia asked, eager to hear Rufus’s response.
Before Rufus could answer, he noticed Dimitri standing a few feet away. Rufus’s smile fell. “Not now. I’ll tell you tonight.” He whispered back to Cornelia. Rufus took his horse by the rein and walked it over to its stable.
Dimitri followed Rufus. “Hello, Father.”
Guiding his horse back to its pen, Rufus returned a gloomy look. Sourness lingered in his eyes “Oh, Dimitri. I did not even see you there.”
Dimitri chuckled uneasily. “Did you have a safe travel?”
“I’ve already answered that question to your mother,” Rufus responded, irritability at the edge of his words. “In addition, can’t you tell just by looking at me? I returned breathing with all my limbs intact. Considering that, yes, I did have a safe travel.”
Dimitri flinched. Though, he knew that sometimes—most of the time, to be frank—Rufus was grouchy. It was only a part of Rufus’s personality.
“Did you bring in the new practice dummies I asked you to get last time?”
Rufus grunted a yes and nodded.
“Oh, good. I’ve gone without them in training for two weeks.”
“This time, try to not destroy them all at once,” Rufus replied. “But, given that cursed Crest of yours, I guess it is impossible.”
“I’ll try not to. Or, if it helps, I can spar with some of the guards here,” Dimitri suggested.
“That is an outrageous, foolish idea,” Rufus snapped.
Like a flying bird struck by thunder, Dimitri’s heart dropped. It felt like if he was looking upon a newly-polished armor that was dropped into mud.
Rufus rose a sharp, furrowed brow. “What are you giving me that look for?”
“Oh, n-nothing,” Dimitri swallowed back the dryness curdling on the back of his tongue and forced a stony look. Rufus would only get angrier if Dimitri showed that he felt hurt. “But… I was just thinking, if I spar with someone, even yourself—”
A flash of horror crossed Rufus’s deadpan eyes.
“—I would become stronger. Would that be a good reason?”
Before Rufus could answer, “No,” the horn sounded again, and the guards opened the gates once more. A group of hunters came in, bringing in dinner for the night. Among the net full of fish, a limp duck held by its feet, was a cage trap.
Inside was a quivering brown rabbit.
“Hey, you with the rabbit,” Rufus called. “Come here. Dimitri, you have been standing around, talking, and doing nothing. Make yourself useful for once.”
Dimitri gulped, watching the hunter open the cage. The rabbit stared back, flattened against the floor, floppy ears pulled back. Dimitri had done this multiple times before. It was one of the only few tasks Rufus requested him to do. Though Dimitri always wanted to be useful, he could never pass the feeling of disgust and regret washing over him once he committed the act.
“…Dimitri?” Rufus crossed his arms and gave an impatient glower.
Forgive me, Dimitri reached into the trap and grabbed the rabbit by the scruff. The rabbit flailed, shrieking as Dimitri pulled it out.
Its squeaky cries ended with a crack.
Rufus gave a rare smile of approval. “Well done, Dimitri. Now, do you think sparring with the guards is still a good idea?”
Handing the lifeless rabbit back to the hunter, Dimitri turned towards Rufus and sadly looked down.
“No… You are right. What a foolish idea I suggested.”
Dimitri looked down at his dish—sautéed rabbit. As Rufus and Cornelia chatted, Dimitri poked the diced meat with his fork, pushing it around in the sauce. He did not have much of an appetite.
“Not hungry? Usually, you would be finished with your third plate by now and asking for a fourth. Did you finally realize you are a gluttonous boar?” Cornelia giggled at her own joke. “I’m just joking. It is just for funs.”
Forcing an amused smile, Dimitri dug his fork into the meat. He tuned out Rufus and Cornelia’s conversations as he ate. Rufus was always displeased whenever Dimitri spoke up. He and Cornelia would also ignore Dimitri completely sometimes.
However, Dimitri could not help but listen when Rufus said, “…Thus, I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. I hope to be back in two weeks’ time.”
Dimitri rose his brows, recalling his request.
“…May I speak up?”
Rufus lifted a brow. It twitched in annoyance. “Yes? What is it?” He asked apathetically.
Under the table, Dimitri balled his hands into fists in anticipation. “I… I have a request.”
“More training dummies?” Rufus guessed. “I shall put that on my list.”
“I’d appreciate that. But that is not all. May I…?” Dimitri hesitated, question caught in his throat.
Just say it, Dimitri! Say it!
“A silver lance? A sword? A horse?” Rufus guessed again. “Dimitri, you know that these are awfully expensive, and you’ll break or kill it in less than a week.”
“No, it’s not that.” Dimitri took a deep breath. “I… I want to accompany you on your mission. May I?”
Rufus furrowed his brows. “No. Absolutely not,” He answered firmly, crossing his arms. “Dimitri, you’ve asked this question many times in the past. You are staying here.”
“But Father, I’m going to be eighteen this year, and I want to—”
“—see the outside world,” Cornelia chimed in. “We’ve heard it all by now. And by the way, you’ll be turning eighteen next year.”
“Mother, that is what you told me last year.”
“I’ve never said anything like that to you.”
Dimitri continued, “Father, please. I beg of you. I’ll do anything to make myself useful.”
“—No, Dimitri.”
“—I can scout for enemies,”
“—No is no.”
“—or be on the lookout in the back,”
“—Just stop this nonsense. Now.”
“—Or, I can just hide in the cart and do nothing—”
A brawly fist slammed on the table. Rufus’s drink tipped over, spilling wine on the table. Rufus’s face was red with fury.
“FOR THE LAST TIME, DIMITRI, YOU ARE NEVER LEAVING THIS STRONGHOLD! HOW MANY BLASTED TIMES DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF TO GET THIS THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS?! FOR GODDESS’S SAKE!!!”
Rufus’s roar echoed through the dining room.
Then, silence.
Dimitri stared at Rufus, eyes large as saucers, face was white as snow. That was the angriest he had ever seen Rufus. His jaw clenched, fighting the quivers in his lips.
Rufus pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh. “Curses, now you are looking at me as if I am the bad guy. Me, the one who gave you a roof over your head. I go out and get you everything you need, and I kept you alive even though you bear a wretched Crest. There are many fathers who would not do the same for their sons, yet, here I am, the bad guy.”
The terror in Dimitri’s heart subsided into pure guilt.
“My apologies for asking,” Dimitri finally said. “I will not ask such a ridiculous request again.”
The rest of dinner continued with Cornelia’s cheery chatters and Dimitri’s somber silence.
Stars gradually appeared in the dark night sky. The highest tower glowed a warm orange, flickering with the waves of the fireplace. Dimitri sat in front of it, hugging his favorite royal-blue blanket to himself. His shudders beneath the fabric gradually subsided.
Technically, his blanket was a cape. It reached his ankles, and his collar had thick furs from wild beasts. Dimitri did not know where and how his father got it. He had it as for as he could remember. It was also embroidered with an image of a knight on horseback, and a strange symbol Dimitri assumed was purely decorative.
Dimitri got up, moving away from the fireplace. It was getting too warm for his liking. He took his usual set at the window.
Unlike the daytime, the night had little to show. Still, the woods have its own mysteries. Sometimes, an owl hooted. If Dimitri was lucky, he would be able to see the owl perched atop a tree. A couple times, a wolf’s howling echoed eerily through the woods.
And, on every twentieth day of the Ethereal Moon, Dimitri would see floating gold lights gliding across the skies.
Dimitri had asked Cornelia what the lights were. She told him they were just hallucinations (“Oh, Dimitri. That silly mind of yours is playing tricks on you.”). He asked Rufus to investigate the lights for him. Rufus had given Dimitri an ugly scowl, as if Dimitri had suggested something offensive. “There is nothing important in investigating moving lights,” He said, “They are just lights.”
Whether the lights were hallucinations, unimportant, offensive or not, Dimitri could not deny that they were the most beautiful sight he would see out of his window.
This month was Blue Sea Moon. It would be five long months before Dimitri would see the lights again. The nights were often long, dark, and lonely.
Dimitri knew he should be grateful. There were many boys his age who had lost their parents and no place to call home. He had heard boys being left to fend for themselves against all odds in this cruel world.
Then, why did he still feel so miserable? Why did his heart feel so hollow and cold?
Dimitri began to nod off. Eyes barely open, he put out the fireplace and climbed to bed. There, he drifted to sleep, dreaming about flying over the stronghold’s walls and soaring among the floating lights.
The moon rose over the treetops, casting dark shadows of the window’s metal bars over Dimitri’s sleeping figure.