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As he hooked her legs into his arms, moving closer, bare skin against bare skin, he noticed her gaze turned away from him, closing herself off.
He knew what this meant, what was happening. They’ve known each other for years for him not to know.
“Maki..?” He balanced himself over her, reaching his hand out to gently cup her face. “Everything alright? We can stop.” His voice was filled with concern, different from the praise as he worshiped her body just moments before.
“No, no. Was just.. thinking for a moment.” Maki responded quietly, turning her gaze back to him.
She’s dissociated during sex before. Intimacy was incredibly difficult for Maki - from struggling with physical touch, talking about her feelings, experiencing flashbacks during moments of intimacy, and developing vaginismus.
Trauma plagued the both of them. It was no secret. Maki always felt unlovable - has been unlovable since birth. She knew that. She always kept herself busy to avoid spiraling. That would be wasting time.
But she allowed herself with Yuta. She allowed herself to love and be loved. And it was terrifying.
Her birthday brought everything up to the surface - no matter how hard she fought to keep it at bay.
It just so happened to be 11:54pm, January 19th. Her birthday was in a few moments and she had been struggling with her mental health as it got closer and closer.
Yuta was now sitting next to her on the bed, letting her take her time. He was patient and understanding. And it wouldn’t be the first time they had to stop sex - he’s had his moments too.
“I’m fine.” She sat up as well, finding the still wrapped condom package, and fiddling with it. “It’s just, you know. On my mind. Dumb. I don’t want to focus on it.”
Taking her hand, Yuta raised it to place a kiss to her knuckle. “Well, we can continue with what we were doing. Or I can treat you to a late night convenience store run.”
It was cheesy, but it got Maki to smile. He knew just how to distract her when she needed it. And knew when to listen when she needed to talk. She maneuvered back into his lap, pressing their bare chests against each other before kissing him deeply. Her hand reached between them, wrapping her hand around his softening cock. He moaned into the kiss, hands reaching around to cup the flesh of her butt.
“Can you take me tonight?” He mumbled against her lips, getting his answer when she opened the condom and rolled it onto his hard dick with ease.
“I want you.”
“Then let me make you feel good.”
Yuta gently rolled them over, hovering over her once again. Once settled between her legs, Yuta hooked them over his shoulders, kissing along her inner thighs. God, he loved how strong she was.
“You’re so beautiful, Maki.” He was feeling sappy, smiling as he slid his cock along her wet folds.
“You talk so much.” Her voice trembled, her cunt clenching around emptiness as he teased her. Sex would help her tonight. Yuta knew how to make her feel good, feel loved.
And she needed him more than ever tonight.
Positioning himself, Yuta began to push in, causing both of them to moan out.
She was safe. This was safe. Yuta made her feel safe.
“I love you.”
Hearing those words always made him perk up. He was like the sun - radiant.
And even if it was cheesy to say those words while he was balls deep in her, she truly felt that way. She could be vulnerable with him and only him.
“Love you too.” He leaned down and kissed her, ever so slowly rolling his hips to help her adjust to the penetration.
“Damn...” Maki sighed out as Yuta began to roll his hips against hers, thrusting hard and deep. As he fucked into her slow and deep, her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed along her jaw and down her neck.
The room filled up with the sounds of their sighs and moans, the headboard thumping against the wall as he started to move faster. When Maki could handle penetration, they both got off on getting rough at the end, letting it get sloppy and not in a rhythm. It always told her too that he was close to cumming.
“Maki..” He was getting close, shifting on his knees to thrust deeper, her butt flush against his thighs. Turning over to look at the time, it read 12:00am. Glancing down to Maki next, he moved his hand to rub at her clit, making her moan loudly.
Fuck. That was music to his ears.
“Happy birthday, my love.”
“Fuck—!” She came hard around his cock, clenching tightly around him as he continued to fuck her through her orgasm.
“God, you’re so beautiful, Maki. So lucky to have you. So lucky..” He was on edge, his thrusts getting sloppy. “So lucky to be loved by you.. ah!” His hips stilled as he buried himself deep in her cunt, filling the condom.
Feeling the faint warmth, Maki watched Yuta reach his peak with half lidded eyes, her heart fluttering each and every time.
They both caught their breath, flush against each other as he began to soften inside of her. It was then that he heard a muffled sob from Maki.
“Maki..?”
She was crying, head turned to the side, eyes shut. As if she were trying to hide herself.
This was a first. Maki hardly ever cried in the first place, much less during sex of all things. Did he hurt her?
“Maki? Maki, what’s going on?” He cupped her face, trying to get her to look at him.
With another choked sob, she wiped her eyes, feeling ashamed and she couldn’t even look him in the eye. “I’m.. I’m fine. Just.. feeling a lot right now.”
She bottled up her feelings again. And it all came pouring out. And her orgasm triggered it. It felt so stupid, so embarrassing to cry from a damn good orgasm.
But it showed just how much she trusted Yuta to be this vulnerable in front of him. She has never cried (nor orgasmed for that matter) in front of anyone else before.
Yuta grabbed tissues for her, gently wiping her tears away. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I promise. Let it all out. I’m here for you.”
Maki took a tissue from him and blew her nose, voice cracking. “Take your condom off. Must be uncomfortable.” Avoiding the topic at hand.
But he did as told anyway. She was right.
It took several moments for her to get herself together, blowing her nose, and wiping her eyes. Tossing the used tissues into the garbage can nearby, she took a breath and huffed out.
“Is a late night snack run still on the table?”
Smiling, Yuta stood up and kissed her cheek. “You know it, Maki. The Family Mart is twenty-four hours. It’ll be my treat!”
Watching her smile was worth it. “I could really go for some chips right now.”