Chapter Text
Chapter One
.
When Bella was little, her father used to tell her stories about his people. He told her how the first Quileute were created from wolves, how they used to hunt whales. He says that this is Bella’s culture too, that she’s Quileute.
Charlie says this to her like it’s special, like it’s something important between just the two of them.
Bella doesn’t know if he’s right—even as she gets older. She’s scared to tell people when they ask (they don’t ask. Nobody ever asks. Bella doesn’t know if she’s allowed to be upset about it), and she doesn’t like the way people look at her when she says she’s Native. Or, when someone beams back at her and says their great-great something or another was Cherokee, so they know exactly what she means.
Renee isn’t any help, agreeing that Bella is Quileute and then in the same breath mentioning that she’s Finnish too, because Renee’s grandpa’s parents immigrated from Finland, so she’s just as Finnish as she is Quileute.
The choice to go to La Push to live with her father is easy in spite of all this. The lingering doubt in her gut has nothing to do with Renee’s protests and everything to do with the fact that she’ll be going to school on a reservation now, and her skin is the color of toilet paper. There’s a deep terror there (one she isn’t ready to analyze), that makes her scared she won’t fit in there anymore than she has in Phoenix.
“You don’t have to go,” says Renee, again. Bella sighs, shouldering her bag.
“I want too,” she says. Bella doesn’t know if she’s actually lying. She doesn’t like the cold, how everything in La Push feels permanently moist. But she likes the people, she likes her dad and her cousins. Quil is less annoying now that they are older too. And she has fond memories of helping her Aunt Joy baking with him, and going outside to make mud pies with Jacob Black.
Bella hopes they are friends still—Jacob and Quil. And Embry. It hasn’t even been a full year since she saw everyone last, but things change when you don’t expect it.
“Oh Bella,” Renee sighs, pulling her into a quick, tight hug. “The second you want to leave, call me.”
Her mother means well. Bella makes herself smile back, and boards her plane. She spends the flight half awake, blearily reading the pamphlets describing airplane evacuation. When she does catch a few minutes of sleep, Bella has nightmares about plane crashes.
She’s thankful when the plane lands, and scrambles through the airport to where the cars are and catches her connecting flight. Bella hates this plane more then the last, and by the end, she has a pounding headache and a newfound phobia surrounding falling from the sky.
Charlie isn’t hard to spot, even as she scrambles off the plane and grabs her luggage. Her dad doesn’t look any different then the last time she’d seen him—his hair is long, pulled back into a sleek braid. He’s in uniform, his sheriff’s hat perched on his head. He smiles when he sees her, moving forward to give her a hug.
“Hey,” she says. He smells the same too. Like balsam and firewood smoke.
“Hey Bells,” he says warmly, grabbing one of her bags from her. They put her stuff in the trunk of the police car, Bella silently disparaging anytime she’d have to spend in the car. People always drove like molasses when they spotted it.
Quil might have a car, or a friend who had a car that Bella could bum a ride out of.
“Your hair’s gotten long,” Charlie notes once they settle in. Bella plucks at a strand. She hadn’t cut it in years, it was long enough for her to sit on now. Renee didn’t understand her refusal to cut it.
“Yeah,” she agrees, smiling a little. “How’s Aunt Joy? Quil?”
“Good,” says Charlie. “Quil’s been telling everyone you are coming.”
Bella winces. Charlie catches the expression, and chortles. He changes the subject mercifully. “Embry’s excited to see you too, Jake hasn’t shut up about it either.”
Bella’s eyes lit up at the mention of Jacob and Embry. She hadn’t thought about Embry in a while, but she remembers hot pavement under her feet and splitting popsicles with him. Embry Call had always been something of a permanent presence in her life on the Rez. Embry and his mom weren’t Quileute, but Charlie had always looked out for him.
Bella is half sure he’d pushed Quil and Embry together. If Bella and Jacob were Jake’n’Bells, then Quil and Embry were Q’n’Emb.
The rest of the ride is spent in a comfortable silence. Charlie isn’t the kind that feels the need to fill a silence, and Bella is thankful for it. Renee has always been a chatterbox at minimum.
The house looks the same, and Bella’s heart swells as she spies the treehouse on the property line and tire swing. “It’s still there,” she comments.
“Of course,” agrees Charlie, looking a little bashful. “Embry still sneaks up there—he thinks I haven’t noticed.”
Bella glances at Charlie and privately thinks Embry is doing more than simply sneaking up to the treehouse.
The inside of the house is essentially the same as the last time—photos of her, Embry and Quil playing in mud, pictures of her and Jake.
The house is like a shrine to her childhood summers in La Push, and Bella thinks if she focuses she can almost taste the saltwater and smell her dad’s fish fry. Charlie follows her to her bedroom. It’s almost the same, only her bed is different—equipped with new sheets and a new comforter. Bella touches it gently.
“Tiffany suggested the purple,” Charlie says. “Said you always liked it.”
Bella does like purple. Something like affection swells in her heart, and she doesn’t stop herself from smiling. “Thank you,” she says. “I love it.”
“We’re all glad you’re here, Bells.”
“Me too,” she says, finding she means it.
.
Being in her childhood summer bedroom is strangely comforting. Bella is quick to unpack, spending some time suspiciously investigating tears on her curtains. She’s half scared it is moths. She’s half scared it isn’t. Her clothes get shoved into the dresser, and she promises to herself that she’ll hang things up after she does laundry.
She’s woefully unprepared by her lack of winter clothes; even though she brought all of them. Bella slips on a hoodie and wanders around her room for a minute, picking at some of her childhood items. The pictures above her bed catch her eye though, and she combs through them for a minute.
Preteen Bella had the foresight of labeling the pictures, and it makes it easier to sort through them. Her favorites are easily the ones from the last powwow she went too, dressed in traditional garb. The best picture, by far, is the picture of Jacob Black with pie all over his face.
His hair is plastered to his face, coming loose from his braids. He has a deep, furious scowl on his face, his arms crossed and lips pulled down as pie drips down his face. Rachel had thought it was hilarious, and Bella had grown fonder of it too. She grins, putting it back on her wall. Her camera was around here somewhere—she never bothered to take it back to Phoenix.
She was excited to add more to her wall.
.
When she finally wanders downstairs, she’s unsurprised to see several figures on the couch. Bella lights up, tripping over her feet in her haste to get into the living room. Quil steadies her.
“Hey Bells,” he greets. “I thought you forgot us.”
“You?” she teases, giving him a firm hug. “How could I forget?”
Her aunt is next. Molly Joy Aterea—Joy for her friends, Auntie to Bella and mom to Quil—looks beautiful. Her hair is loose, and Bella can’t recall a moment where it’s ever been tied back. It flows down below her hips, and combined with the floral maxi skirt and beaded top, she looks just as Bella remembers.
“We have missed you, sweet girl,” her auntie says softly, stroking Bella’s hair. “It is good to see you home.”
For as long as Bella can remember, her home has been Phoenix, Arizona. She’s never felt any connection to the place outside of her mom, and she grew to love the heat. In her Auntie’s embrace, Bella thinks La Push feels more like home than anywhere else, and she feels like a girl again.
“I’m really happy to be here,” she admits, like it’s a secret. Auntie Joy beams at her. She and Charlie have the same smile.
Bella smiles back.
“We were going to head to Harry and Sue’s for dinner,” says Charlie. Bella does not wince.
Reservations tend to be small communities. La Push comes in at a grand total of one square mile, with a population hovering around three hundred. Charlie Swan’s wayward daughter returning is something nobody wants to miss.
Quil slings an arm over her shoulders, and mumbles to her, “Only Billy and Jake. Embry might swing by.”
Bella feels her eye twitch. She’s been to ‘small’ Rez parties. “I don’t believe you.”
Quil doesn’t break. “Sam Uley might make an appearance. Leah’s his snag now.”
She can’t help it, her mouth drops open. “What, seriously?”
He laughs. “She shacked up with him during winter break.”
Bella shook her head. “I didn’t think Leah would go for him.”
Quil scowled a little. “She’s changed a lot.”
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but didn’t actually say anything to that. The Leah Clearwater from Bella’s previous summers was bold, and frankly a little abrasive. She had a terrible potty mouth, and told anyone that would listen about her plans to leave the Rez as soon as she could and move to Seattle.
Sam Uley was a Rez kid. The kind of guy that was born on the Rez, and never left. Bella didn’t think there was anything wrong with that, it was just weird to picture them wanting anything to do with each other.
“Go Sam,” mutters Bella. Quil stifles his laughter as Joy and Charlie glance over.
“Ready?” asks Charlie.
She’s not, but she says yes anyway.
.
Bella’s welcome home dinner has completely lost the plot by the time they actually make it. Part of this can be blamed on the location—the Clearwater residence is right on the edge of town, close to Second Beach. The other half probably has more to do with Billy Black’s big fat mouth and his inability to shut it.
Charlie parks in the only available spot, behind a run down DeSoto that has Quil let out a low whistle and mumble something about it being a total rez rocket. When Bella inspects it as she passes, she’s pretty sure she spies duct tape holding the bumper in place.
“Surprised he even got that thing running,” says Quil in explanation. Bella distantly wonders who the vehicle belongs to, mostly since Jacob wouldn’t be caught dead with such a crappy repair.
“Who’s car?” she asks as they walk inside, falling in step beside each other. It’s easy with Quil. They’ve known each other their whole lives, and he knows her well enough to indulge her curiosity the same way she knows him well enough to know he only eats about three foods; chicken wings, fry bread, and potato chips.
She’s pretty sure he’s never touched a vegetable, but he’s her cousin and she loves him, so that’s none of her business.
“Paul,” he says. “Kind of an asshole. I don’t think you’ve met him. He lived in Tacoma until a few years ago when his parents decided they wanted him to grow up among his people.”
Quil says the last part with a strange inflection, leaving Bella with the assumption that it’s a direct quote from this Paul character. “Avoid Paul,” she notes. “Any other tips?”
“Don’t eat anything Leah makes,” he says seriously. Bella squints at him, trying to decide if he’s screwing with her. Quil shakes his head earnestly. “Seriously. She didn’t get Auntie’s skill in the kitchen. I think I have shell shock from last time.”
Bella laughs, letting Quil in before her, after Charlie and his mom. Charlie and Joy wander pretty quickly, Charlie making his way to the couch. Bella doesn’t know where the beer in his hand came from, but she decided years ago to not question things like that.
“It’s called PTSD now,” she tells her cousin. Quil looks unbothered, leading Bella onwards to the kitchen and away from the aunties and uncles that have coagulated in the living room.
“Hey Leah,” says Quil, grabbing a drink from the fridge. He tosses it to Bella, who completely misses the catch. It’s saved by Leah herself, who glares at Quil as though he’s a bug she squashed with her bare hand.
“Nice going, chief.” she snarks, handing Bella the drink. More politely, she says, “It’s good to see you, Bella. Jacob and Embry are outside with the others.”
“Thanks Leah,” says Bella. She half wonders if this little reunion tour couldn’t have waited until tomorrow. At school.
Outside, the others turn out to be Sam and Paul. Bella knows Sam distantly from her previous visits to La Push, but Paul is someone new to her.
Paul has something of a Marlon Brando quality to him, something in the way he holds himself. Bella finds him equal parts attractive and infuriating as she looks at the smirk on his face. He raises his eyebrows, offering her a little wave as he takes a sip of his drink. Bella rolls her eyes.
“Hey everyone,” says Bella, choosing to ignore him completely.
“Bells!” says Jacob, he turns in his seat, his face lighting up at the sight of her. Bella beams at him, her smile growing a little larger as he swings over the back of the patio couch and wraps her into a tight hug. He smells like sunshine.
“Jake!” she says warmly. “You got tall!”
“You think?” asks Jacob, looking a little too pleased by her assessment.
In his seat, Embry offers her a slightly unsure wave. Bella is surprised at how excited she is at seeing him. She grins back, returning his wave.
“Hey Embry,” she says. “You doing alright?”
“Yeah,” he says. Bella doesn’t pry any further. Embry’s always been more talkative the less people. He and his mom live on the same street as Charlie—her too, now—so she can always swing by later if she doesn’t get a ride to school with him.
Quil steals Jacob’s spot, prompting Jacob to claim the only remaining chair available. Bella ends up perched on the arm of the couch, using her knees as a table. Leah comes out shortly after with a pizza, derailing Quil goading Paul about his car.
She sits in Sam’s lap, leaning against him. Bella is forced to accept that Quil was right about them dating. She exchanges a glance with him and he raises an eyebrow as if to say, ‘I told you so.’
“So, Bella,” says Paul. “You’re from Arizona?”
“I lived there with my mom,” she eventually settles on saying. “Quil said you moved from Tacoma?”
Paul takes a sip from his drink. “Yup. Mommy and daddy moved us back because they wanted me to be around our people. ”
Bella surprises herself by managing not to laugh. Quil looks like the cat that caught the canary. Stone faced, she says, “I’ve never been.”
“Tacoma? I can’t imagine you’d want to go, Arizona.” he quips. Sam nudges him discreetly, rolling his eyes. Leah scoffs.
“Ignore him, Bella,” she says. “Paul thinks he’s cute.”
“I don’t mind,” she says. Arizona. It could be so much worse. “I grew up in Phoenix, specifically. My mom grew up there and wanted to move back.”
“How is your mom?” Embry interjects quietly. He’s plucking at a loose string on the couch, his drink half empty.
“She’s good,” says Bella. “She married a minor league baseball player. They moved to Florida.”
“I heard about that,” says Jacob before Embry can reply.
To Embry, she asks, “Hey, did you want to go halfsies?”
He glances at her drink. Quil had grabbed her some kind of grape soda. Embry shrugs, offering his cup. Wordlessly, Bella gives him half of her soda.
“That’s disgusting,” says Quil. “You both disgust me.”
“Quil, you eat three things,” Jacob quips.
“He had a coke,” Leah says, surprising Bella in a show of defense of her and Embry. “It just makes a grapey coke. It’s delicious. You have the palate of a three year old.”
“Hey now,” says Paul, smirking. “It’s not his fault he stopped developing at that age.”
Bella doesn’t hide her laughter, leaning into Jacob as she does so. He gives her a sunny smile, and Bella is struck by how much he’s changed. Gone is the gangly thirteen year old, and in his place is someone else. He’s still younger than her, but Bella is finding the gap doesn’t seem quite as big anymore.
“You wanna go for a walk?” Jacob asks her lowly. She does. Her cheeks warm.
.
“I’m glad you came back,” he says. She smiles coyly, and enjoys the way his cheeks darken and he hastily adds, “Quil kept making stolen sister jokes.”
Bella shocks herself with her laugh. “Are you serious?”
Jacob nods. “It was getting annoying.”
She rolls her eyes and says fondly, “He hasn’t changed much.”
“He hasn’t,” agrees Jacob. They lapse into silence for a minute. Jacob grabs her arm as she steps wrong, her foot catching on a rock. He steadies her, and as he goes to pull his arm away, Bella holds onto it. Her cheeks warm as he looks at her. His eyes seem to glimmer in the moonlight, and while Bella’s always been partial to dark eyes, she thinks it’s not biased of her to say Jacob’s eyes might be the prettiest she’s ever seen.
She lets go of his arm, realizing that they aren’t moving and she’s been staring at him. She’s paranoid she’s going to mess up something that hasn’t even started yet. Jacob seems to have a similar thought, and they start to walk again.
“Did—“
“Do—“ Bella cuts herself off, looking down at her shoes. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“I was just going to ask if you needed a ride to school tomorrow?” he says. “I could pick you up.”
“You don’t have a license yet,” says Bella. Jacob’s answering smile is secretive.
“I know the sheriff,” he explains patiently. Bella giggles, and immediately feels ridiculous. Her cheeks burn again , and she pretends to be focused on her steps.
“Maybe next time,” she says finally. “I was going to ask Embry.”
“Oh,” says Jacob, looking disappointed. Bella grabs his hand, never slowing her steps. She’s proud when she doesn’t fall.
Meaningfully, she says, “It’s not like that.”
“Sure, sure,” he says easily. Bella isn’t sure he believes her.
“Seriously,” she says. “It’s… really. Never like that.”
She knows Embry hadn’t said anything to anyone. They weren’t even sure, and Embry was insistent they not bring it up to Charlie. His mom had never spoke of his father, and Embry had been under the impression he was Makah until three summers ago when Bella brought a polaroid camera with her to La Push from Phoenix, courtesy of her mom.
Bella and Embry have the same eyes.
It wasn’t a lot, in fact, it arguably wasn’t anything at all. Bella and Embry both have large brown eyes, almond shaped and framed with thick lashes.
Bella had been told her whole life she had her dad’s eyes. They’d taken a picture together, side by side—and the resemblance was a little eerie. They have the same eyes. Their smiles are similar too.
Embry didn’t like to talk about it.
Bella weaves her fingers together with Jacob’s, and gives his hand a little squeeze. “You’ll show me around, right?”
Jacob rolls his eyes good naturedly, bumping his shoulder against his as he grins, all jealousy forgotten. “Always.”
“So,” says Bella slowly. “What have I missed? You got a girlfriend finally?”
Jacob looks bashful, kicking a rock as they walk. “No,” he says easily. “What about you? Anyone in Phoenix?”
Bella shakes her head, trying not to show how pleased his words make her. “No. My life is here, you know?”
She can feel his gaze on her as he answers, “Yeah. I know what you mean. I missed you, when you weren’t here.”
Their fingers interlock. Bella thinks it’s easy with Jacob, sometimes. “I missed you too,” she admits, like it’s a secret. And maybe it was. Bella isn’t sure yet what this thing is, but it feels different than before.
The feelings between them feel different then the ones from before—even when Bella was fifteen and Jacob kissed her because she was embarrassed nobody had kissed her before.
Bella wants to say more to him, but Charlie’s voice carries in the wind as he calls her back. Bella shares a glance with Jacob, and in mutual, silent agreement, they break into a race. As the wind whips her hair in her face, Bella thinks she was right that things are different now—but it’s still easy with him.