Chapter Text
Satoru knocked back yet another drink, the bar around him blurry and everything not directly in front of him blinking in and out. The alcohol didn’t even taste bad anymore, but the memories still hurt. Just a little now, but maybe a few more drinks and he wouldn’t even remember being thrown out of his “date’s” house. Hookup, whatever. It wouldn’t be the first time he caused another breakup between a perfectly happy couple. Or the last.
Could’ve at least told him so he could stay clear and he’d really thought they might have had something going, they’d done it what? Five, six times by now?
Who was he kidding, not a single one started with a date, the most romantic thing between them doing it on the bed most of the time.
Maybe just a few more drinks and he could forget for a few blissful hours. Wake up in a strange house, live off the spark of fear before those feelings would flood in again. Maybe whoever took him home would even make a free breakfast if they weren’t also hungover. That would be nice…
“No, I’m cutting you off,” a voice demanded. It sounded nice, deep and commanding even if a hint of annoyance ran under the words.
He tried to mumble something about money, trailing off halfway through the sentence. It was hard to talk while opening his wallet, everything seeming to slip through his fingers.
“No. More. Drinks,” the voice came again. He looked up, tears welling in his eyes and stinging them.
He blinked, not recognizing the bartender. Must be new, dark hair drawn into a bun and a mesmerizing bang swinging in front of his face. It must get in the way a lot.
“Don’t wanna remember,” he whined, making grabby motions with his hands in the direction of the bottles lining the wall behind the new bartender. Everything was blurry, but maybe…
Handsome, tall, even muscular… just what he liked.
“Much more and you’ll get alcohol poisoning, so no.” His words didn’t make sense, just going in one ear and out the other, but yeah, he liked his voice too. It did something to him.
“Wanna get so drunk someone will take me home and make me forget,” he slurred, burying his head in his arms. “And then not remember anything in the morning…”
That would be nice, at least then he might not feel that inkling of guilt after every one-night stand. Actually, he’d probably feel worse but maybe he deserved it. Probably did.
He may as well be throwing himself at the man in front of him. He wouldn’t mind all that much, he looked like the type to be rough in bed and then make him something nice in the morning, or at least let him have a bowl of cereal if he begged enough.
The man sighed, pouring some clear liquid into a shot glass and sliding it his way. “On the house.”
He lit up, fumbling with it and doing his best to flash him a smile before downing it. For some reason it didn’t burn when it went down. Maybe he really was more drunk than he knew.
“Thank you Mr. Bartender,” he got out. He was pretty sure every word was slurred.
The night went on, the man continuing to pass him whatever the clear drink was but things didn’t get blurrier. Maybe he’d really hit his limit.
“Hey, time to get out,” the voice said. He looked up, blinking. What…
“Bar is closing.”
He started to cry. Why couldn’t he stay and drown everything in so much alcohol everything would be nothing more than a chunk of memory missing? Nothing was fair, not the way people only wanted him for his body or how they wouldn’t even pretend to date him and how they ended up betraying him and maybe it was all his fault, though they probably would outright lie if he asked about a spouse or partner and —
“Okay, out we go,” the voice said, drawing nearer till an arm snaked around a shoulder and grabbed him, carrying him somewhere even as he tried to stumble along.
He leaned into the heat, feet dragging on the floor even as he did his best to keep up. “We going to your place?”
A sigh. “You’re lucky I got enough in tips for an uber.”
New tears welled up in his eyes. It shouldn’t hurt that he didn’t want to carry him home. It would be so romantic, the thought making him smile and a dopey smile come over his face before some sort of giggle came out, the image of the man carrying him bridal style came to mind. He’d like that. Remember it forever.
The man brought out his phone, walking to a car and words interchanging between him and the person in it, Satoru just watching and clinging to him. He must have muscles under all the clothes to be able to carry him as he did, as if he were light as a feather.
Satoru tripped as the man helped him into the car before sighing and turning his attention back to the driver. “You said you’ve driven him back home before. Will he be able to get in in this state?”
A snort. “Absolutely not.”
Satoru pouted. He’d have them know he was going to be perfectly capable and not end up sleeping on the doorstep instead! It would be different this time.
“And a tip won’t change your mind to help him in?”
“I’ll take you back here for free if you do that instead, got another person in this area anyways. You sure you aren’t just gonna take him to your place?”
“Fuck no.”
Satoru started bawling.
“Deal.” Why wouldn’t he take him? Was he not good enough?
The man got into the seat next to him and the world flipped right side up again, Satoru leaping into his lap best he could and nuzzling his head into the crook of his shoulder.
“I’m not —” the man started, even as he patted his back and maneuvered him to pull the seat belt around him. “Whatever.”
“Be so good for you,” he begged, face buried in his chest again. So warm in the chilly weather, too good for him. “Can be so good…”
He wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore, promises flowing out of him. They had to be true, true enough that people would put up with him and his personality for an hour or two to use him, so that meant he had to be amazing because no one liked him.
Even he didn’t.
He wasn’t sure what the man said aside from how nice the hand around his shoulder felt, massaging little circles into it as if trying to comfort him. Maybe he’d feel used in the morning, might even feel like a leech for making the man put up with him, but it felt nice for now, Satoru melting into him and letting his eyes flutter shut.
The car stopped, jolting him from his sleep and the man helping him out of his seat belt and the car, Satoru only able to stare at his hands, the veins running through them and black painted fingernails capturing his full attention.
He blinked, the door to his apartment complex coming into focus. Maybe the man had roommates he didn’t want to hear?
He barely remembered guiding the man to his apartment door, fumbling with the keys till they were taken from him and the other somehow getting the door open as if it were easy and Satoru hadn’t been struggling with it just seconds? Minutes? Earlier.
He giggled, the man pushing him onto the bed and then… pulling the covers over him? After even pushing the plushie he kept by his pillow into his arms to hug? This was a new one and he hadn’t even undressed him yet and…
The man turned, mumbling something, and walked out, the door shutting behind him and the bed suddenly cold all too soon, tears welling up in his eyes, the thought of stumbling after him only fleeting before he collapsed in bed again, curling up and tears beginning to stream down his face.
Alone, once again.
Satoru blinked awake the next day, the sun streaming through the curtains nothing but knives through his eyes and his phone alarm sending shooting pain through his head, the night before flashing through his mind as he groaned, turning off the alarm.
Fuck, he’d really gone and made a fool of himself, but what was new?
He groaned, stumbling into the shower after grabbing a handful of ibuprofen and swallowing. He’d be late for classes, on the first day no less, but it would be better than going in and smelling like shit.
Anyways, he barely minded it all as he sauntered into class a good ten minutes late, flashing the professor a smile and wink, telling him to jot him down in attendance if that even mattered, announcing his name.
He sank into one of the seats in the back, collapsing onto the desk, sunglasses only able to blot out some of the migraine inducing lights in the lecture hall. Because of course he had to be sensitive to light, noise, literally everything that existed or could happen able to trigger migraines plus be a chronic lightweight.
Whatever. So long as attendance wasn’t mandatory he’d be able to ace the class. It was almost fun to see how little he could do and still pass, skipping classes as often as he could, never buying textbooks, waiting till the last few minutes before assignments were due to submit them. He had to get his thrills somehow.
The class dragged by, Satoru only half conscious throughout it, just waiting for them to be dismissed. He’d actually skim the syllabus later at home, see what all he’d be able to get away with and still miraculously pass.
He began to get up to leave as the professor dismissed him, until his eyes locked onto the back of one of his classmates. Tall, muscular build, black hair tied into a neat bun… His jaw dropped, memories of the previous night filtering through his brain. How he’d cut him off only to give him some mystery drink he was beginning to think might have just been water, how he’d carried him out and even made sure he got back home and wouldn’t collapse on his doorstep like always, how he’d tucked him in of all things and just left, not even demanding a future favor when it would have been so easy to just take.
Maybe he wouldn’t even be as embarrassed now, face flushing red, if he’d at least done that. It would be so simple to approach him again, tease him till it turned into something that happened twice and —
Wait… was he..?
He slapped his cheeks, one after another, probably only adding to their redness. He, Gojo Satoru, was not going to start being embarrassed now out of all times! He never felt like this and on the rare occasion he did, he’d just twist the situation so he was in control again. He would not just let these finicky things take over him and become more awkward day by day till he’d have to sneak into class to avoid further embarrassment!
“Oh?” he called, plastic smile on his face as he sauntered over, hands tucked into his pockets and looking over at the man as if he were a piece of fresh meat, his for the taking. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”
The man turned to him, an eyebrow raised and expression carefully collected as if he hadn’t caught one of his eyes twitching in annoyance just a second ago and fuck… He was somehow even more handsome in good lighting and when he wasn’t in a drunken stupor. Usually people looked better, tolerable even, when he was drunk but holy shit his drunk self had not been exaggerating so much as playing it down, the man’s face sharp in just the right ways despite his soft eyes and mouth. And were those gauges?
“You should not be able to function after drinking so much,” the man said instead, giving him a once over and not even in the sexy way! As if he were nothing more than an insect! He loved it, heart beginning to skip and beat out of his chest. “Go rest and sort whatever got you to the bar out.”
Well, now that was rude.
He pouted, crossing his arms. There really wasn’t anything he could do aside from asking if they were still together next he saw the guy who’d thrown him out the house. “Believe it or not, that was out of my control I’ll have you know! And what am I supposed to do? Study?”
“Yes.”
So he had a goody two shoes who also worked at a bar and wore gauges. Interesting.
“Nerd,” he muttered. Surely he had a partner though, so pretty everyone must be jumping at the chance to date him. He wasn’t annoying like Satoru was. “You’re really going to go study the syllabus or some shit? Surely you’ve got a uhhhh… girlfriend? Boyfriend? Actually… you look like a partner sort of person…”
Yeah, that fit. No wonder he hadn’t bothered to take advantage of him back when he’d gotten wasted, was probably some sort of romantic who’d want an actual connection with someone instead of a quick fuck. Unobtainable for someone like him. Too good.
“I don’t look like anything,” the man replied and oh, his right eye was twitching again. “Why are you even asking about that?”
“Well,” he began, almost singing out the words and taking a step closer, swaying as he clasped his hands behind his back and maybe this would work better if he wasn’t taller than the other, but he had the rest of the semester to figure out what made him tick. “I was thinking…”
He knew flirting with the bartender was a bad idea, but to be fair he’d only gotten roofied twice before! He may as well have been asking for it with the way he acted, with how he’d wanted to fuck, so why did it always hurt when he realized he’d been drugged? When he’d caught them doing it the second time, but decided to knock back the drink anyways.
“No.”
He froze, eyes going wide. He should have known, but no one turned him down! If anything, people begged him for it.
The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he turned, walking away. “You’re not even drunk right now…”
He watched him leave, a flare of hurt almost tearing at his his heart before he clamped it down. He’d just have to try harder. Prove that he actually wanted it, get under his skin till something snapped.
His eyes widened, realization crashing into him.
He hadn’t even caught his name.
He paced back and forth in the hall. Sure, he could be a normal person and just ask the next day, but where was the fun in that? He’d already looked up the bar and it didn’t have any of the employees listed obviously, what was he even thinking? And of course he’d been too drunk last night to read his name tag if he was even wearing one.
He’d tried to sneak into the teacher’s office to maybe find a list of students but had just been trapped in office hours pretending to apologize for his late and very rude entry which neither of them really bought.
He sighed. Only one other way then. Connections.
The thing was, he’d probably slept with a good percentage of the entire campus. He’d never bothered to keep track because what even was the point, but surely someone would know, would be able to tell him who he was and maybe even more.
He showed yet another past hookup the best drawing he could manage of the mysterious man made by some crayons he’d found in the library, and the other squinted before forwarding him to another acquaintance, saying he thought he’d seen someone similar hanging around him once.
He waved, thanking him as he tracked down that acquaintance, frowning once he turned. He was probably going to owe some favors after this, but wasn’t that just life? Especially for someone like him? The only people he’d ever considered friends had only invited him over to do things so they could fuck after and maybe he’d had a meltdown after he’d realized that wasn’t normal or any sort of friendship, but it didn’t really hurt anymore, not when it filled the need he had for some type of connection, no matter how shallow it might be.
And when he walked away from the acquaintance’s house, gulping down water from the drinking fountain to get rid of the taste in his mouth from the favor he’d traded for the name, he could only grin, looking down at the piece of crumpled paper in his hand, the name “Geto Suguru” written across it.
Surely nothing new could go wrong now. He’d even have the decency to not call him his first name when he saw him, no matter how well it rolled off his tongue!
Satoru sat at the front of the lecture hall, actually early for once, maybe too early since the professor wasn’t even in yet by the time he’d sat down, but he just couldn’t sleep, not when he was so close! Just a little more…
He looked up every time the door opened, a new student filed in, not even noticing him. Just ten more minutes until class started and Geto seemed to be the type to be early for whatever reason, so surely just a few more minutes.
He really hadn’t been this obsessed for awhile, most people nothing more than casual hookups to him, but this rush… It was everything he needed, more addicting than anything he’d felt before and promising only to break his heart sooner or later.
The doors burst open, rattling on the hinges as the man himself burst in, face tinted with the cutest shade of red despite how his gaze locked onto him, boring into him.
“You!” he shouted, pointing at him, every part of his face scrunched up in the cutest fury he’d ever seen, even if it didn’t make sense.
“Me?” he asked, pointing to himself as he blinked, mind going through everything he’d done. The fuck was he mad for now? His mouth kept moving, completely disconnected from his brain and what he felt. “Am I just that pretty? Bet I am and —”
“Why the hell is the entire fucking campus asking for my name and pounding down my door!” Geto exploded, stomping toward him.
Oh.
Oops?