Chapter 1: A Warm Welcome to ~ Lobotomy Corporation
Chapter Text
Blearily, the man stirred from slumber. Things felt wrong rather quickly. From his position, he'd quickly surmised that he'd fallen asleep on his desk. The chilly air stung at his eyelids. He soon reclined back in his seat and groaned as he woke up.
Rather quickly, he felt disoriented. Somewhat afraid even. The room he was in was not the familiar, if slightly cramped space he'd claimed for himself. It was magnitudes much larger, as was the desk he was seated at.
He soon realized he wasn't alone.
"Hello, X." A woman spoke, giving a bow as she approached the desk. "I give you a warm welcome to Lobotomy Corporation."
The man looked at the woman in confusion, taking in and trying to process everything he was looking at, but just feeling more and more worried as he tried to put it all together in his head.
The room was wide, with a number of screens put together in a large display. Metal sheets lined the walls, looking sturdy enough to seem like he was in a bunker, a few doors were to the sides, adding to the image. The desk was spartan, with only a keyboard and mouse, a screen off to the side, and a picture frame on the other. Just a picture frame, there was nothing in it
The woman, meanwhile…she was a stunner. A beauty wearing a white labcoat over a black suit, with a pencil skirt, black tights and red heels. She had long, light blue hair with a sidetail held with a red band. She was facing him with her eyes completely shut and wearing an easy smile on her face.
"What…" The man said, taking quick breaths. "Who- where are-?"
The woman opened her eyes only the slightest bit, revealing a hint of yellow, but she quickly shut them again.
"Ah, you seem a bit disoriented. That is no issue." The woman said. "I will explain everything once you calm yourself."
He found it more than a little bit difficult to be doing that, but he just shut up and took a few breaths. Looking himself over, he saw that he was dressed with black pants and a dress shirt of the same color, and over that, he had a labcoat.
More and more, he was feeling more disoriented and more nervous, but even then, he just tried his best and simply asked, "I'm sorry, what's going on?"
"It's quite simple," the woman said as the smile on her face widened by a small fraction. "You have taken up a position as manager of this facility of Lobotomy Corporation. If you feel disoriented and disconcerted as to how you ended up in that desk, I assure you, that is completely normal. Due to our policies, certain liberties have been taken to ensure that company secrets are kept hidden."
"So like, uh…did..." He looked from side to side, his nerves getting the better of him. "Are you saying I just got black bagged all the way here?"
Opening her eyes slightly, the woman let out what seemed like a brief laugh as she smiled and said, "That is a rather crude way of putting it, but I assure you, you gave full consent to such handling."
He said nothing on the matter, simply letting the silence wash over him. Almost as if reading his mind, the woman closed her eyes and spoke again.
"If you are wondering about your qualifications or prior interviews, I assure you, you passed with flying colors." She said with a nod, tilting her head to one side after that. "As for the work itself, you needn't worry. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Angela, your advisor and secretary. My role as an AI is to assist you in adjusting to your new workplace, so please have no worry in speaking with me or asking any questions."
"AI? You mean like…?" He looked at her, not quite able to finish the thought.
"Ah, I know what you must be thinking. Your eyes show that you think I look too human to be an AI, am I wrong?" Angela said, not missing a beat. "However, there is a great difference between us. I am bound here. I cannot go wherever I please like you do. I may be able to operate the systems of this corporation to open a door or prepare a cup of coffee for you, but I cannot take a step outside of this building to bask in the sunlight or feel the gentle breeze."
"That's just…I mean…" He tried to put his words together but utterly failed. "There's that but it's more just…"
"Is it a matter of my existence then? Are you perhaps surprised that there could be such an advanced AI, able to converse with you as any normal human does and react with such perfect timing?" Angela asked patiently. "Indeed, I am aware of things such as AI language models, which simply parrot lines and information based on generative algorithms, but I am a cut above such crude toys. I was born from one of the 'Wings of the World.' It signifies that I am one of the best to exist in this age."
"To say you blow them out of the water is an understatement, yeah." He remarked numbly, not even bothering to ask what the Wings even were. "I'm just…having a hard time keeping up here. You're an AI? For real? No cap?"
Angela raised a brow questioningly, but soon her expression returned to the serene one from before as she said "I have no clue what hats have to do with the matter, but yes. I am, in fact, an AI."
"I…I see." The man said, taking a breath. "I don't ever remember signing up for this job, but I'm guessing that's…part of the arrangement?"
The AI simply replied with a nod. He had to face the facts as he saw them. He'd been kidnapped by some shadowy organization that he'd…at some point, somehow, agreed to work for as a manager and allowed them to fuck with his memory?
Bullshit, he knew himself. He may have been job hunting, but he would have never taken a shady job like that. He would never apply for such a high position either, with how underqualified for most everything he believed himself to be.
The only thing preventing him from lashing out and going nuts was a simple understanding that this company, whoever they were, could easily coerce him into compliance or simply…terminate his contract, with whatever that implied.
Feeling like a gun was pressed to his head, he had no choice but to ask more questions.
"And what do we even…do here at Lobotomy Corporation?"
"That is not a bad thing to ask about." Angela replied. "Let me put it this way. The world is constantly growing, and the demand for energy is exponentially increasing as technologies advance. All conventional energy sources combined could not sustain the world further."
"I…think I follow, so we are an energy production company?" The man asked. What the hell kind of energy company called itself 'Lobotomy Corp'? "And as the manager I need to make sure we meet the necessary energy quota or something, then? Managing the employees and making sure we run a tight ship here?"
"In a nutshell, yes." Angela confirmed with her placid smile. "Don't fret, however. As your assistant, I have control over all sectors of the facility with equal authority to yours. And as an AI, I am incredibly efficient in comparison to humans in terms of multitasking. I am the best in a majority of work fields and can ensure that your workload is as minimal and simplified as possible. I am able to handle the work of several dozen people at once. I'm certain many people have lost their jobs because of me. It's such a shame."
Closing his eyes and leaning on his chair, he joked aloud, with hardly any enthusiasm, "Woe, behold the wonders of the industrial revolution. Look on our works, ye proles and despair."
When he opened his eyes, he saw that Angela was staring at him. She seemed curious at what he'd said. He ended up averting his eyes after a moment, though. She had an incredibly arresting gaze, not helped by the glowing yellow eyes with the…circle and X shape.
"So…uh, how exactly do we produce that energy?" he moved the topic along lamely. Angela was quick to follow with an explanation after closing her eyes once more.
"In search of a solution to the rising energy needs of the world, the company happened to stumble upon mysterious beings whom we dubbed Abnormalities." Angela explained, nodding once. "The company devised a 'special method' to harvest energy from these 'Abnormalities'. To isolate the Abnormalities in a controlled environment, and then to harvest energy from them; these two actions elevated our corporation into one of the Wings of the World, benefiting humanity in two ways."
"That's…pretty crazy." He said numbly. "Is it even safe? That sounds like the sort of thing that would go sideways in the worst possible way."
"There are risks associated with working with the Abnormalities, but I assure you that, even in case of a catastrophic cascade breach, we have all the necessary resources to bring the Abnormalities to heel." Angela explained, her smile simply remaining as it was. "Lobotomy Corporation is always looking for ways to improve its harvesting processes. Our systems are continually updated to support this."
It sounded more like the hubris of man speaking to him, rather than Angela, but he did not say that.
"Speaking of which, there was a new update to the system right before you arrived. That means the working conditions have been improved upon, compared to those of your predecessors." Angela nodded. "Think of it as a small welcoming gift. Best of luck for us."
"I...see." the man said, taking a breath. "When does work start? I don't know if I'm ready for it."
"The workday starts in approximately forty-three minutes," Angela replied with a nod, "If I am to understand correctly, that is just enough time to familiarize yourself with the work and to ask any pending questions, no?"
Just enough time for that, yes.
Not enough time to really get his feet from under him.
Malkuth happily walked towards the main room of the Control Team, the new manager had arrived at the facility and would be taking over. She was about to ask Angela about him, but to her surprise, she'd been told that the manager would be coming over into the facility proper for an introduction.
She was quite excited. When was the last time that they'd gotten a new manager? Her memory was spotty at times, hence the clipboard and her countless notes. Actually, it was a bit weird, wasn't it? She didn't even remember the previous manager and she didn't have any notes on them either. Well, if she didn't remember and didn't write about it, then it probably wasn't that important in the first place, right?
Either way, receiving a new manager was very important by comparison! She'd been doing a great job of keeping things running smoothly. Her work was well and truly exemplar and beyond reproach! Today, tomorrow and even the day after, she would work with her head held high and with all the enthusiasm she had! Of course, she'd make sure all of the employees on her floor approached things with the same attitude! Everyone had to pitch in, after all!
She began to hear the approaching steps from outside the room, and so she puffed herself up and prepared to receive Angela and the new manager. As soon as the door opened, she spoke up.
"Manager, manager!" Malkuth said brightly "We've both arrived just on time, right? Congratulations on joining Lobotomy Corporation!"
As she said that, the manager seemed to be taken off guard completely. That was interesting, she didn't expect him to look so skittish. Miss Angela cut in shortly after, though.
"I do not want to disturb this touching moment, Malkuth, but every second counts in Lobotomy Corp. Please make your introduction as brief as possible and go prepare for the meeting."
"Hm, it seems Miss Angela isn't in a good mood today…" Malkuth mused as she looked back at the manager. "But hey, at least everyone is looking forward to meeting you! Well, maybe…not all of them, but still!"
She felt her cheer diminishing somewhat quickly when she saw that the manager's heart really wasn't in it and it was pretty plain to see. He wasn't even looking at her and instead looked at…the wall?
Malkuth looked at where he was looking at. It was the doodle that looked like an abstracted map of the facility. She never did get why it was upside down, though.
"The Sefirot?" he murmured.
"Yes, the Sephirah!" She exclaimed with cheer. He knew what she had been saying! Maybe he was just the sort of person who had a hard time looking at other people? "They'll be your assistants in charge of each of the ten departments of the facility!"
Even Angela seemed to be putting attention as the manager walked closer to the drawing, the way she'd opened her eyes! That was actually kind of a surprise!
"Oh, by the way, I'm Malkuth! I'm in charge of the Control Team!" She said as the manager put a hand over the pattern on the wall. "If you're wondering about the other Sephirah, there's also Yesod, in charge of the Information Team, Hod, who takes care of things in the Training Team..."
"You don't need to list them off, Malkuth." Angela said curtly. "The manager will be introduced to them when the time comes."
For his part the manager just continued and he traced a path to where those Sephirah she'd mentioned resided. After that he moved a hand to the Safety Team and murmured.
"Netzach." He said and continued to plot the course with his hand. "Tiferet, Hesed, Gevurah, Binah, Chokhmah…and Keter, right?"
Malkuth laughed and tried to clap her hands, though it was just a dull, awkward sound thanks to the clipboard.
"Amazing, you know all their names and you haven't even met them!" She congratulated the manager. "I mean, they were all pretty off, but you have them right for the most part! They're Tipheret, Chesed, Gebura, and Hokma! I haven't really met the bottom layer Sephirah though…thinking about it, has anyone actually? I know Binah and the Extraction Team are always hard at work, but I don't even know what Hokma and Keter get up to, or if anyone has ever met them."
The manager's hand went towards an empty spot in the facility, between all of the bottom Sephirah…or top, in the case of the map's orientation.
"So I'm guessing there's no Da'at, then?"
Malkuth scratched at her head with her pencil. Da'at? No, there wasn't a Sephirah who went by that name, actually. It was a pretty strange question. She looked at Angela for clarification, but flinched back upon seeing her, with her eyes wide open, just staring at the manager's back so intensely it was like she was boring a hole through him. Malkuth had never seen her act like that, ever! It was actually beginning to unnerve her, so she just moved on.
"Nope! No idea where you've got that from, manager!" Malkuth said with cheer as he turned back to face them.
"Fair enough. What do you guys do at the Control Team?"
Seeing the manager be more interested in her work, she brightened up immensely.
The enthusiasm then soured when someone started banging on the door in absolute desperation. Was it Lamarcus? His mental corruption levels had been pretty high, so she'd reminded him not to cause problems for the rest of the team. He was going to ruin the moment.
When a voice rang out, it was clearly him, so Malkuth just looked at the manager with a smile.
"Don't worry about that, manager. That's just an employee from the Control Team. Since they belong to my department, I'll take care of this!" She said as she looked at him.
The banging on the door intensified.
"Manager, please! Get me out of here!" Lamarcus screamed. "I know you can do it, you're the manager! It's so horrible, I can't take it anymore! Let me out of here! Let me out of here!"
The manager just stared at the door like a deer caught in headlights. Unable to so much as move or say anything. He seemed horrified, even!
"Don't worry about it, manager, it'll just take a second." Malkuth assured him. "You don't mind if I handle it, right?"
Of course, she was already making a move to process Lamarcus's 'resignation'. Even if he insisted, Miss Angela would take her side, wouldn't she? She just wanted to hear him say it.
He didn't though, but he didn't insist otherwise so…she guessed that worked? They say silence is consent, after all!
As they processed the resignation and the screams echoed, the manager turned away and began to walk away. She couldn't even tell what the expression on his face was.
Something…felt like it snapped in her.
"Manager, why won't you look at me?" She asked well after he'd left the room with Angela in tow.
Her fingers felt as though they'd clawed and scraped at the floor until they were bloodied messes, bereft of fingernails.
But that was silly, wasn't it!? She was standing wasn't she? And she didn't have fingernails in the first place, right?
Just a silly little thought.
Come the fourth day of the newest loop. Angela was intrigued. For her, having experienced around a million years of failure upon failure upon failure…being intrigued was as much of a rarity as seeing an employee tossing twenty coins and having all of them land on their side, all perfectly aligned down to the millimeter. Not impossible, given time, but practically so.
The most recent iteration of X was, bar none, one of the strangest ones yet. She had seen X being confused and afraid. She had seen him shutting her out, keeping his thoughts locked up and deflecting the matter. She had seen him ignore her. Time and time again, all of them perfectly preserved in her memory as if it were happening right in front of her. The current version of X was the most skittish, the most transparently put off and the most afraid she had ever seen.
Angela no longer had 'firsts' she expected. This X provided a few firsts. He was the first X to have something of an accent, for one. To say nothing of…all the rest. His knowledge of the Sephirah's names was strange. The mention of Da'at was even more so.
Intriguing. Angela felt a sense of…novelty washing over her. It was strange and it was new. But it didn't matter, in the end. All that mattered was that the script was followed. The current iteration of X was not the most mentally resilient and it was easy to tell. She doubted that he could face himself in the end, if he even got that far in the first place before they had to reset back to the first day.
An alarm blared in the back of her head. The Qliphoth Deterrence lowered sharply. The last time that happened, James from the Information Team had released Abnormalities during the off hours. It was an incident which merited a reset. He hadn't even released anything too dangerous, it was just that according to the script, Yesod had to be the one to order him to be gunned down. She browsed for more information to try and force things back into track and keep to the script.
She stopped momentarily. The Deterrence lowered only in one containment unit, and in the Control Team's department, at that. A hundredth of a fraction of a second was all it took to access the cameras to figure out what was going on.
It took her considerably longer to understand what was going on.
She was deeply confused. She accessed the cameras in X's room and confirmed that he was, in fact, gone from it. Instead, Angela saw as he entered the containment unit of One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds.
She saw as X knelt down and put his hands together in prayer. It was, if nothing else, perfectly safe. He had no sins which he had any memory of which could result in an extreme reaction from the Abnormality in question. The point of the gesture still escaped her though.
"I have a sin to confess."
She heard him speak, trembling as the Abnormality's teeth chattered. He took a while to compose himself, an eternity in her eyes, before he continued.
"A few days ago, I joined this company. I don't know how or why, but I'm afraid. I'm genuinely terrified to ask." He said, keeping his eyes on the floor. "And, I got introduced to Malkuth, one of the Sephirah…the floor managers of the facility. Shortly after we started talking…an employee started banging on the door."
He took a few deep breaths. Angela took none as she waited for him to continue his confession
"They were begging for my help. It seems they wanted to quit, and they thought I could do something about it." He continued. "Malkuth told me that she would handle the situation, as head of the department."
His voice cracked as he kept speaking.. "I knew what she meant when she said she'd handle it. Angela basically confirmed it the next day, even though all I did was to tell her I more or less understood what that meant. I was just taking a guess, but resignation from this shadowy corpo means death. I was pretty sure of it, even when Malkuth just smiled and told me not to worry about it."
X separated his hands, slumping over as he put both of them on the floor and he was on all fours.
"I heard…I heard things happening." He started heaving and crying. "I can't imagine what they did to him and now I'm just...I'm just guilty. I don't know if I could have done anything if I'd stepped in! I was too afraid! Maybe they'd have killed me too!"
He kept raising his voice louder and louder, hurting his throat as his screams turned coarse.
"I'm just a goddamn coward! I didn't-!" X coughed loudly, moderating his voice slightly after that. "I didn't even try. I convinced myself that as long as I didn't get myself killed, I'd be fine." He laughed mirthlessly. "Good fucking job, jackass, you're alive. Are you fine?"
Angela took no pleasure in the voyeurism she was engaging in. Watching X breaking down the fastest out of all other previous iterations, not knowing he was being recorded, nor even aware of the sins that he, as A, was culpable of. Evils that he had yet to confront.
"It's only getting worse. Someone just died yesterday, and it's...it's all my fault this time. And I know it's going to happen again and when it does, it'll be my fault too." The microphones barely picked up his next words, but she heard him anyway.
"Someone…please get me out of this hell."
As he fell on his side and started sobbing, the Abnormality started to produce Enkephalin. Angela deftly activated the necessary protocols to make sure it didn't go to waste, given X just deactivated the Qliphoth Deterrence, but didn't activate the other functions.
She held no pity for this version of X, knowing he'd fail soon enough and pass the torch to the next one. It was a pointless gesture which would go unthanked, but she expunged the recording and fudged the numbers for the day's quota to account for the decent amount of Enkephalin the 'work' generated.
A while later, X left the containment unit and made his way to his room. Angela stopped watching him as she began preparing everything for the start of the day at the appointed hour.
In light of the incident, she refrained from bringing the bottle of champagne to celebrate the death of his first employee. Some events in the script had priorities, and this one, she'd found, had one of the lowest ones, given how widely X's reaction to it varied. She could forgo it entirely.
Everything came to life as it always did, and X soon left his room to meet with her at his office.
"Morning Angela." He said, sounding drained. He'd made an effort to seem presentable, but his hair was a mess and the labcoat was slightly stained on one side due to the grime in the containment unit. He coughed when he realized his voice sounded off due to his earlier screams.
"Good morning, X." She replied and he flinched. Every time she used the name, he seemed disturbed somehow, but she made no comments on the matter. "Everything has been prepared for the day. The Extraction Team will soon provide us with the newest Abnormality to work with."
"Righty-ho." He said, rather unenthusiastically as he took a breath and sat down at his chair. "Another day, another dollar. Nothing else to it. Back to work, 621."
Every so often, this iteration of X would say some of the strangest things. She decided not to question it. It wouldn't be long until he was replaced with a colder, more capable version of himself. At least, not long in a human perspective.
Silence fell between the two of them as Angela took her place at his side, silent and just barely out of sight. It was not a rarity between her and any of X's many iterations, to say nothing of A.
A minute later, six thousand seconds to her, X spoke up.
"Say Angela, are the cameras in the Abnormalities' containment units always on?"
It seemed X had only just really thought things through.
"Yes, though there are marked exceptions." She answered politely. X just let out a shivering breath.
"Even in the off hours?" He asked.
"Even then, yes." She answered with a nod. "As to maintain corporate image, I have expunged the records of the incident at 4:34 AM in the containment unit of Abnormality O-03-03, One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds"
Another hour passed in her time.
"Thank you."
Angela snapped her eyes open at the words. She looked at X, who withered under her gaze.
It was the first time he'd ever said the words sincerely, rather than out of politeness. The tone gave it all away. It was something…new.
"It's no problem." She said, closing her eyes. "I was designed to be a manager's perfect partner. What partner would I be if I could not keep a secret?"
The lie flowed easily, of course. It didn't matter, after all. All of what he said was pointless. As did all of what she said. He would be devoured by the facility and the hell which awaited him, and then he would be replaced by another X. One who would either flounder worthlessly or handle things adequately.
A thought betrayed her though, even as she quashed it because she knew it would not happen once he was gone.
She yearned to hear those two words again.
X let out a sad laugh.
"Alright then, partner." He said slouching over his desk. "Let's manage the facility as best we can today."
Though he was exhausted. He steeled himself for the work to come.
How long would that last?
Chapter Text
The man took a deep breath as he pressed the button in front of him and the bell rang through all of the facility. Pushing another, he spoke into a microphone.
"This concludes the current workday." He declared, his voice carried through the intercom. "All agents, please conclude your work with any Abnormalities. Clerks, handle all relevant end-of-day duties."
Letting go of the button, he leaned back on his chair and let out a deep breath. Casualties continued to mount. Two clerks and one agent lost their lives only a scant few moments ago. He did not understand why and how the Ordeals manifested, but he hated them. He was handling things competently enough at first, but the second those machines broke in? All hell was set loose.
People would die. Tomorrow they would be replaced. The company was a brutal machine that kept itself well oiled with blood, marrow and scattered viscera. No amount of rationalization about how he had to grease those grinding cogs or die made the fact any better. The only comfort was that the cognition filter did not show how truly grisly things were. It was only of little help, though, given he could still hear their screams.
However much energy they were generating, it surely wasn't worth this.
Getting up from his chair, he groaned as he bent his spine back, then winced as he reached for one of his shoulders, the tension in his every muscle making him seize up momentarily.
"I see you seem to be having some troublesome muscle pains, manager." Angela said, bowing slightly. "I am capable of giving you a massage, if it impedes you. It won't solve the issue regarding your tension, but it should ease it momentarily."
"Yes, please." The man said with a small nod and then gave the AI a crooked smile, "Although at this rate I might need a chiropractic, a doctor and an exorcist, for good measure."
Angela opened her eyes slightly, but did not laugh at his joke, even as she approached. That was fine, he didn't find the joke funny either.
Closing his eyes, he seized up as soon as she made contact. She moved her hands around his shoulders, rubbing the sore spots on his back, applying just the right amount of pressure to cause some pain, but just the right kind of it. She had a rather firm grip too. As a machine, she surely could grip even harder and was holding back.
Idly, a thought did cross his mind. If he asked her to go as hard as she could, would she crush his entire neck?
He dismissed the thought as he seized up and groaned. Nah. She may have decided to keep the entire affair with the skull to herself, but after a bit, he realized the AI was just trying to get his trust in some way, doing her part so that whoever was pulling the strings further up in corporate could wring all the use they could get out of him.
When she was done, Angela lightly pat his back, and moved to the other side of the desk, having closed her eyes at some point. "As always, the Extraction Department is asking for your input as to which Abnormality you would like to receive for tomorrow."
He looked at the screen at his side and saw the three options, simply sighing.
"I'mma keep it 100 with you, Angela, I don't really see why they're leaving it up to me when all the information is blank and all I've got are identification codes." He said with a shake of his head. "I can't make an informed decision with just that. At that point we might as well roll a dice."
"There is something of an argument against the existence of randomness, but I do believe I understand your frustration." Angela appeased him with a nod, eyes shut as she faced him. "However, it is important that you make this choice yourself. Depending on your decision, you could very well bring an Abnormality which we are unprepared to deal with into the parts of the facility under your control."
"No pressure. Love it." He said sardonically, looking at the codes and shaking his head. "Can't we at least get a photo or something?"
"At best, a brief physical description could be attached, though there are risks, considering the particular traits of certain Abnormalities." Angela said with a shake of her own.
"Ah, great. Anti-Memes. My favorite." He groaned and let his head droop, not noticing the furrowed brow on Angela's face. "Screw it. I'll take the risk. What've we got?"
"Just a moment please, I have already sent the request to the Extraction Team's Sephirah." Angela said.
The man waited…and waited a while longer…and after a while quickly turned and saw as Angela's face locked into a harsh frown of displeasure.
"Do forgive me. As I've mentioned before, unlike the Sephirah, I am the only truly perfect AI in this facility." Angela explained as he looked at her in confusion. "She has seen fit to process your request for more information to help you decide, but she chose to do so in poetic terms. I am extracting the meaning as I am receiving them."
"Y'know what, just give them to me as is and I'll ask for a translation if I'm pressed to choose." He said with a wave of his hand, "Let's just humor her."
"That is quite the rare sentiment. You will come to regret it when it's time to meet her." Angela said, her eyes slightly opened. "I've updated the dossiers."
The man nodded and took a look. Frankly, it wasn't that bad.
T-02-99. A deceiver and savior are one and the same, he grants them all that they've longed for and shows only what they lack. Their souls never crumbled after their meeting, they were already shattered.
O-04-100. Such beauty entrances multitudes. It is little different from the pleasures of the City, simply take in the sight and never question from whence it came.
T-01-106. To believe that the colour of the human heart is pink is a great folly, To think it can be protected even greater. They shall be stained black and know the truth.
"You know, this is all pretty unhelpful, but the vibes are better than nothing, I guess." The man shrugged. "Give her my thanks and tell her to keep up the good work."
He gave it some thought, averting his eyes from Angela when she stared at him and he started pacing around for a bit. The vibes were bad all around, but that seemed to be the case for all of the Abnormalities.
Some kind of…thing that preyed on people's longing, a pretty thing which worked through some fucked up process, or a thing which provided some kind of protection?
Shaking his head, he looked at the screen so he didn't fudge the numbers.
"I'll take T-01-106." He said with a nod. "I'm getting a bad feeling from all of these, but I think that one might be…manageable, I guess."
"Understood." Angela bowed slightly. "The order has been sent to the Extraction Team."
The AI soon left the room, letting him go free. The man just sighed and left the office through the other way. The first few days, Angela had been rather talkative, starting some explanation or another or making some kind of…idle talk loaded with symbolism that went past his head, yet felt like it was supposed to go somewhere.
She'd stopped that, after a while. It was part of why he wasn't too sure about her anymore. Angela wasn't exactly a kissass, but she felt supportive, if only slightly, and she had some expectations for him at first. Now she showed none of that and just did the bare minimum. He was getting the feeling that he may be reaching the end of his usefulness and that was why she'd just stopped trying..
It was terrifying, and yet…whatever could happen when he did reach that point felt like it couldn't be that bad. Entertaining thoughts like those wasn't healthy, but neither was any of what he was going through.
Finally reaching his room, he took a good look at it. It was…bigger than his room back home, pretty spacious and, dare he say, luxurious. It had a couch, a table with a gramophone, a minibar fully stocked up with several non-alcoholic drinks, juices and energy drinks and snacks he didn't recognize, a shelf full of books regarding sciences which were definitely way beyond his understanding, a desk with a few empty notebooks and writing supplies, a small walk-in closet which really only had a bunch of sets of the same clothes, shoes and some nightwear. a large, comfortable bed, and even a smoke alarm which totally didn't have a camera keeping watch over him 24/7.
Totally. Because fuck his privacy.
Stepping into the bathroom, it was…a whole different world. It was deeply uncomfortable. Barren. A toilet without a lid, a single roll of the cheapest, most sandpapery toilet paper. A sink with only cold water. A shitty, small mirror barely the size of his palm which forced him to move around a lot if he wanted to take a good look at his reflection, and a cramped cubicle with a shower.
He undressed and went into the shower. There was not a lot to do with his free time. The likely surveillance put a damper on most entertainment he could try out, so he was left with a lot of boredom and no outlets. He wished there was a bathtub; it'd hardly help his situation much, but it'd help soothe his nerves.
A hot shower was the next best thing, but it was hardly great with how little space he had there.
Following that, he dried himself and brushed his teeth. The fogged up mirror didn't help but he didn't need it in the first place, knowing all the motions by heart.
As he finally got dressed again, he cleaned the mirror and looked himself over. The face staring back in the mirror was his own, yet something felt…off. He couldn't truly place it. He recognized the face as his own but it was wrong somehow. He'd chalked it up to the cognition filter, given it was very selective about which things were abstracted until they looked like nuggety little paper dolls and which were just…not quite right somehow.
He sighed. There was nothing to do about it. Nothing to do at all.
Angela handled the background processes of the facility with her eyes closed as X frantically barked orders on the intercom. She had no expectations from the very beginning, and therefore they couldn't be betrayed. Things proceeded about as she believed they would, a definitive failure with absolutely no way to salvage it. The current X's mental corruption levels had been steadily mounting each day.
The script didn't actually specify, but through the countless repetitions, she'd realized that he did not need to be mentally whole, just able to find a "realization" to put an end to the cycle. Of course, though, it wouldn't do for him to be completely broken. If he couldn't keep moving, then it was time to reset. From what she was seeing, Angela believed it would happen in the next few workdays.
He wouldn't be the fastest to fail, of course. It was hard to mess up as badly as the one X who somehow managed to lose control of things with access only to One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds. How that happened, she would never know, even though she saw it happen and would never forget even the slightest detail.
This X wasn't the fastest to fail, yes…but he'd not even made it to the average point of failure. She'd mostly stopped talking with him beyond what was necessary. It was all about to end sooner or later. If it wasn't a sure thing before, then it'd just been guaranteed after he took their most recent Abnormality.
Novel though this iteration was in comparison to his predecessors…she knew she'd see something like this again. Maybe in a hundred years. Perhaps in ten thousand. Or perhaps even the X that would directly succeed him would be like him. She would endeavor to follow him more carefully, if he were to show some more mental fortitude and seemed to be able to last for longer.
"Yum-Yum, Asera! Suppress Matchstick!" X shouted into the intercom, using the…different names for Abnormalities he'd made up. "Basil, keep running! She's after you! Hoon, get the Army and fight Crayola! Isabel, retreat to the main room! CLERKS! I DON'T CARE WHAT MALKUTH TOLD YOU, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AND GO TO THE MAIN ROOM!"
He hit the desk as he screamed himself hoarse, his eyes wide with panic. He'd started the day looking just about right, but by now, with how disheveled he was? He didn't look too different from how Netzach would look to him through the cognition filter. The only difference being that he had more life in his eyes out of sheer manic desperation.
After what would be a couple minutes to a normal human, she saw as 'Matchstick', or rather, the Scorched Girl, caught up to Basil, quickly exploding just as soon as Yum-Yum and Asera had reached the room. X screamed in frustration and rage as all three agents instantly died.
It didn't stop, though, as 'Crayola', the Fragment of the Universe, sang its song and drove Isabel insane.
"Please give me an order! Please give me an order! Please give me an order!" Isabel repeated over and over, driven to the edge as they clawed at their cheeks.
"Isabel, I'm here! Get out of there! Hoon will take over for you!" X screamed at the insane employee, only for them to start laughing.
"Let me go home, manager! Just let me go home! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!"
Surely the only thing he could see through the cognition filter was a little paper doll. It still absolutely crushed him as he saw the agent pull their head up with so much strength that they ripped it off of their neck. A number of clerks, who had already been driven to the brink at that point, decided to follow suit by taking their assigned firearms and using them for what they were actually meant for, rather than fruitlessly firing at the Abnormality.
X's mental corruption levels continued to increase. Even as Hoon finally arrived with 'the Army' and managed to strike down the Fragment of the Universe.
When it all seemed to settle down and the state of Second Trumpet was lifted, he stared blankly at the monitor for what felt like hours to her.
"All survivors…" He finally mustered the will to speak the words. "Clean up, then take five. Hoon, perform Insight work with One Sin. Let's…let's just meet the quota and call it quits."
The employees didn't move at first. It took a long time for them to finally do as asked.
X shut his eyes and leaned back, his head tilting up towards the ceiling as he left out an insufferably long sigh.
"Angela, could I get a word with the manager?" Malkuth spoke up, her tone clipped. "I'd like to speak to him on the matter of the Control Team's duties and-"
"Denied, Malkuth." Angela shut her down instantly. The Sephirah was clearly annoyed at how X had gone and told the clerks to follow his commands over Malkuth's. She had been rather unstable of late, thanks to how he had been taking over and fighting her tooth and nail each time there was an emergency and wanted to move personnel around.
X just looked at her, mouth slightly ajar as he stared at her with a despondent, but confused expression.
"It's nothing to worry about, manager." She said, "I'll handle it."
He made a sound of approval as he turned his head back to the ceiling, the same blank expression on his face as he continued to stare a hole into it.
When the workday ended, he didn't notice how Army in Pink had grown desaturated, the vibrant pink of the heart being only a couple shades off of black.
She was absolutely sure, now. Tomorrow, it'd all end. She only had to close her eyes and endure yet another 75 days or so, from her point of view.
A mercifully short timeframe.
Notes:
Army in Pink/Black's Abnormality code is supposed to start with a D. That's only because it's one of the backer Abnos, so to "canonize" it here, I just changed it to T.
Chapter 3: A Warm Welcome to ~ The End of Your Tenure as Manager
Chapter Text
Angela saw as X walked to his desk. He did not so much as spare her a glance or regard her in any way. He merely pulled away his chair and fell upon it. She felt nothing at his actions. She wished she could lose count of how many times something of the sort had happened. It no longer mattered at this point.
He slumped forward and coughed into his fist.
"Who are the new agents, Angela?"
His voice was deeper than before, strained because of yesterday's screaming. Angela simply complied by having the information appear in the monitors. Joining the roster, Finn, Firenze, Katya and Anastasia replaced the dead agents. The clerks mattered little and so she didn't even put their information up for display. X nodded along, taking a deep breath, he browsed around to display the facility, focusing only on the new Abnormality of the day, a suit of armor.
Meanwhile, she also muted some of the idle conversations taking place in the background.
"He's…trying his best, isn't he?" A clerk said, "I mean you heard him while we had the whole mess there, yeah?"
"I heard, but who gives a shit? He's not here with us." Another clerk said dismissively. "I don't care if he's weely weely swad, the manager's just the same as any other bastard of a boss, letting us get killed over stupid shit."
"Yeah but you can't help but feel bad for the guy right? He's only been here a few days and everything's falling apart for him." The first clerk shook his head. "Like, he's the manager, but he's still an L Corp employee at the end of the day. Just imagine how his performance review will look; there will be hell to pay and you know damn well Wings can be more spiteful than Abnormalities."
"Fair enough. Kid will probably end up wishing he was left to fend for himself during the Night in the Backstreets." The second clerk scoffed. "If any of you silver-spooned Nest-born babies even knows what that is."
The first clerk just stopped talking, not seeing a point in continuing when the other didn't share his misplaced sympathy. Angela stopped the conversation from reaching X's ears, more out of habit than anything else. The opinions of the employees mattered little, anyways.
Unaware of any of that, X spoke up, "Let's begin the workday."
Angela simply nodded, keeping her eyes shut. It was the only thing she could do at this point. The workday began thus.
X allowed his employees to wander a bit, assigning some to work on the Abnormalities he had the most information on. He did so carefully, one by one, until the only agent left with nothing to do was the sole survivor of the prior incident.
"Hoon…" X said with a sigh, then took a deep breath. "Please perform repression work on O-05-61."
The employee did as he was bid after only a slight pause and X simply watched on, keeping a closer eye on his last reliable agent. Upon entering the containment unit, he stopped for a moment, but proceeded on with his work. He had passed muster, if only barely.
After a while of work, a blue flame lit up next to the man's head. X's despondent expression sharpened.
"Hoon, report." X quickly spoke up. "What happened?"
The Agent didn't respond instantly, but after a bit of time, he gave an answer.
"I'm fine, I'm not in any danger." Hoon answered. "I'm not sure what's going on, but I feel…safe, like the armor's protecting me."
"Hoon, whatever you do, don't put on the Armor." X added.
"I know, I know, I'm not feeling…compelled or anything." Hoon answered. "I feel like a million Ahn, really."
X stopped transmitting and rubbed his forehead in some confusion. "You mean like a million bucks?"
Even now, with his sanity growing more and more distant, this iteration of X continued to say the most curious things. She supposed his take on the turn of phrase made some sense. A million deer would be…energetic, somehow. More than a million units of currency, at least. More lively, she supposed.
"If you say so. Just keep your wits about you." X said as he turned the microphone on again. "Finish up, then try and take it easy, see if it doesn't fade after a while."
"Roger that." Hoon replied, then continued his work.
X kept himself alert. It was interesting, to some degree, to see how he was still trying to avoid unnecessary deaths in the facility, even as she saw him crumbling and fraying at the edges. He was despondent, yes, but whenever something was even slightly off, he honed right into it. When an Ordeal drew close, he preemptively had his employees prepare ahead of time as best he could have them, and he even handled the Dawn without casualties. After a while and a good ways into the workday, it seemed as though the day wasn't going to go horribly wrong. Angela knew better, of course.
"Hey, Angela?" X spoke up, his voice weak and soft. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him, and though he flinched, he tried to maintain eye contact. He was failing even while trying to correct, of course, but he tried nonetheless
"What is it, manager? Are you in need of anything?" She asked.
He looked down, face full of what seemed like shame.
"I just wanted to…" He took a breath. "About earlier…I'm sorry. For not even looking you in the eye or greeting you earlier."
Angela smiled, the corners of her lips just turning up the slightest bit. It was an absolutely absurd and ridiculous statement. It wasn't enjoyable in the least, not even slightly funny. Where did he get off, saying he was sorry for the same thing he'd always done to her, over and over again? Why now, of all times?
"I'm sorry, you seem to believe I'm offended by that." Angela lied through her teeth as she closed her eyes again. "But I assure you, I'm not bothered. I know full well that the stress from work is simply leaving you emotionally drained, as it would any other manager."
Yes. And that aside, an apology was just a slap to her face. Just a self-righteous string of words that didn't mean anything and had no purpose other than to make him feel better, to make him feel right. If he was truly sorry, if he truly felt such things, he…
Angela shook her head. It was pointless to contemplate.
"Don't worry. You don't need to feel as though you are under any obligation to treat me as another human being. As a matter of fact, you don't need to latch onto our interactions as though they matter," Angela stated calmly "I am simply an AI, at the end of the day, a mere simulacra of a human being. As my creator once put it, 'a machine must behave as a machine'. I will simply do the job that is asked of me."
The silence remained for a while. Opening her eyes slightly, she saw an unexpected tinge of annoyance.
"Well, if you don't mind me saying this, your creator sounds like a right bellend."
She blinked. Though she was a machine, she was built with such unnecessary, involuntary motions in mind, even though she experienced them hundreds of times slower than others. Even so, she couldn't help but feel bemusement.
"Perhaps so."
She turned away from him and looked at the monitors on the other side of the desk. X seemed to get the cue and left the conversation at that.
Work continued, with little issue for a moment until the Qliphoth meltdowns hit…while every employee was already held up with work.
"Shit," He spoke through clenched teeth, looking at the containment units affected. There wasn't too much of a problem with most of them and they could be handled by the agents on the job, but the real problem was that Fragment of the Universe had no one to handle the incoming meltdown.
"Hoon, be ready to bolt to the Army as soon as you finish your work with Matchstick." He spoke to the employee preemptively. "We've got an incoming meltdown; if the newbies can't make it to the containment unit in time, I want you to get them and get the drop on the Abnormality."
"Is it Cray- the Fragment of the Universe?" Hoon quickly corrected himself, not letting the manager's name take hold in his mind.
"Yes. I'll send support immediately as it becomes available." He said.
"I don't nee-" Hoon shook his head as the flame at his side flickered. "Got it…"
X pursed his lips as he began seeing the effects of the Crumbling Armor begin to take hold. As a matter of fact, he even turned to look at her and spoke up. "Do you think that flame is doing something to him? He seems…"
"More reckless?" She asked back as she lowered her head. "It is a distinct possibility."
Rather full of concern, he looked back at the monitors. Finn finished his work with the One Sin and Hundreds Of Good Deeds, and X immediately told him to make a run towards the containment unit of the Fragment of the Universe.
He was, however, too slow, barely even making it to the hallway before the Abnormality breached.
"Finn, run away!" He cried out in frustration, "Hoon, Army now!"
The employee made his way to the containment unit, both manager and Agent completely ignorant of what awaited him.
It wasn't quite a common interaction, but it was a rather straightforward one. Attachment work triggered the Crumbling Armor's special ability because it was the most amiable way to interact with Abnormalities. Hiring Army in Black did not fully classify as attachment work in most circumstances; doing so wouldn't be a cause for concern.
However, the Crumbling Armor hated those it deemed cowards. 'Life is only granted to those who hold no fear of death', as the engraving at its bottom claimed. As such, to ask for protection was an insult to it.
The agent seized up as the flame at his side flickered and swept to his other side fast enough to seem like a blue blur, before moving to his stomach and disappearing. With blank eyes, the agent dropped to a 'seiza' position. His mouth hung open as his belly was split apart and his head rolled down to the floor.
X's horror at his employee's death left him focused on the agent's corpse rather than the Abnormality in the room. Army in Black lost all color and slumped forward slightly
Its eyes opened, revealing pitch black holes rather than eyeballs. The slimy heart wiggled, finally getting the manager's attention.
And then it beat.
Automatic alarm systems blared across the facility, X's eyes swept across the monitors, looking for the offending Abnormality as the intercom was wrested out of either of their control.
"State of Second Trumpet declared." A monotone mechanical voice stated. "All employees prepare for emergency management protocols."
"Where is it? Where's the Army!?"
Angela rather quickly found Army in Black's various bodies…all in areas completely outside of his jurisdiction, held together by crews only large and experienced enough to keep them active.
All save for one heart, which he quickly found. He gave Katya an order to stop the Abnormality, promising support from the other agents. She dropped dead shortly after swinging her weapon once. Clerks ran away, ignoring orders from Malkuth, some out of insanity, others simply because they thought they could get away.
Fragment of the Universe encountered Army in Black. Its song was sung, to share in its knowledge. It was spurned, as in an instant, the latter Abnormality beat as a human heart and exploded into black goo. The corridor was flooded with blackened hearts and the TETH Abnormality was brought to as close one could be brought to death.
X could do nothing but stare in horrified awe as the Abnormality left the corridor unscathed. Angela merely backed up into a corner of the room while he wasn't looking and pressed her palms against the walls, bracing herself. The various instances of Army in Black reached the main room of the departments they were in. Standing at attention, they seemed to take a breath and share a heartbeat as they saluted.
The monitors failed. The lights flickered. The whole room rocked and trembled, and an unprepared X slammed his head on the desk and slumped into it. Angela, for her part, barely moved. She did not enjoy the sensation of falling, doubly so when forced to endure it for so long.
Looking around the room, Angela handled background processes and began to reestablish as many functions as she could, useless though it was. Monitors were brought back to life, though several were cracked and functionally useless and most others displayed their images with heavily distorted static and dead clusters of pixels. The lights were knocked out entirely, their wiring having been caught in the blast. Instead, she turned on the red-tinted emergency lights. The locks for the office's doors had broken and the mechanisms for them simply opened and closed them at random until they stopped working altogether and were left half-opened. It didn't bear mentioning that the rest of the facility was in a much worse state.
X groaned as grabbed his head, unsteadily trying to lift himself up as more alarm messages played back.
"Warning, state of Third Trumpet has been declared." The automated notification called out. "Disciplinary Team Sephirah, initiate emergency deployment. All combat capable agents arm yourselves accordingly."
She saw him stumbling for a bit, The manager looked around at the damages in the room and later at the images displayed in the monitors. Of course, with the cognition filter on, it looked like it was a lot less grave. Even still, she saw as he began to hyperventilate, his mental corruption levels hitting their peak. She had expected some resignation or some kind of more quiet despair, and yet-
A thought struck her, she made a small system check and saw that the cognition filter had been knocked offline. It had been frustratingly inconsistent at times, turning off at random. Such was the price of adding something on her own initiative, unmentioned by the script. She could hardly be faulted for it though, given it increased the average length of each loop by a wide margin and A himself gave no instructions to remove it, once he became aware of it after the memory synchronization.
She ignored X's panic attack and subsequent flight out of the room. She wouldn't bother turning the filter on for the time being. As a matter of fact, she could leave it off until it came time to work. She could explain it at the beginning of the next pointless repetition and spare herself the bother of answering the question when it came up, as it always did.
Right now, all she needed to do was the same thing she'd always done.
To shut her eyes from neverending hell around her.
The man ran across the halls of the facility. The way forward was lit only by red-tinted emergency lights and the occasional fire. Metal debris, broken glass and torn plating littered the halls. If there were screams, they had long since been rendered silent.
He ran. He moved with no direction, hoarsely breathing and stumbling every other step. Rounding a corner, he came face to face with a corpse. He screamed and took a step back, falling back on his rear. The blinders had been taken off, he had to face the world around him in all of its horror.
The man's brain matter was splattered all over the wall, his face locked in a rictus of horror and ecstasy alike. At his feet laid a bloodied handgun.
The man flinched back, he looked away, he shut his eyes with a shuddering breath. The corpse was still there, with glassy eyes and a twisted grin.
This is your fault.
It was not. How could it be? He didn't want to be here. He was being used by people he didn't know, for reasons he couldn't know. It couldn't be his fault. What were they expecting, putting someone like him in such a situation? Yet the fault lied with him; he asked for the Abnormalities that had to be brought up and lead to this situation. But that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been placed in charge of the facility in the first place.
This didn't happen because of him. This happened entirely because of him. He sought to exempt himself of all responsibility and wrongdoing, but all recrimination landed squarely on himself. But what else could he have done?
Panicked, he spun around in the floor and got off, running in the opposite direction
He had to run.
But where was he running towards? Away from all of this? How could he? He didn't know where the exit was. Was he trying to save himself despite it all? Wasn't he actually getting closer to danger like this?
He slipped on a neon green fluid that flowed from the broken pipes on the ceiling, barely stopping himself from hitting his face on the floor. Raising his head slightly, he saw that the corridor was familiar, even though it was different. It was where the containment units for some of the Abnormalities were.
"Do you need assistance, sir?"
He turned his head to see what had been abstracted before standing in front of him. A pink heart made of a cohesive slime. Within it was a man half his size, wearing military gear with his face covered by a balaclava, along with a sniper rifle resting at his back.
"We'll gladly get dirty for the sake of your good heart, sir." The monster said, rising a hand to salute him. "If you give the order, we will protect your heart, no matter what."
Insane. There was no other thing to call the thing in front of him, the one who caused all the damage and death he was surrounded by, and yet it didn't so much as seem to acknowledge the fact, it only carried on as if nothing had happened, focused on its utterly insane goal.
Laugher began to escape him. Wasn't he also insane? Wasn't he trying to protect his own heart all this time?
It was pointless. It was all pointless and ridiculous. He laughed and laughed, at the monster, at himself, at the entire idiotic situation. It was speaking, saying something about its duty, about how it blended into the human heart, but he wasn't listening anymore.
The heart began to lose its pink tint, beginning to turn gray.
Something slammed into it. A large thing forced the Abnormality back into its containment unit. In its place, the man saw a box. A massive slab of metal. Blood and unknown fluids sloughed off of it. A slot seemed to hold a digital eye, while a screen on top of it bore the name 'Gebura'. He was struck in fear and awe, as it seemed to regard him in disdain.
"The human…heart is-"
The monster didn't say another thing as the box turned to face it, lifting a massive blade wrapped up in flesh and eyes.
"Damn thing," A woman's voice rang from inside it, deep and scratchy.
The box vanished and the sounds of tearing flesh began to ring out from the chamber, along with more of her words, with the brutalizing punctuating each one.
"Get! The hint! Stay! Down!"
She had more to say. He didn't listen, he just got up and kept moving. Laughing all the way. It was all pointless, but he still kept running. In the throes of hysteria, he asked himself why he was even running in the first place. He ran and didn't know why.
Soon he hit a dead end, a room. The details were hazy, all he saw were the corpses of clerks strewn about, their skulls caved in. A couple had their guns in hand, some were left on the floor instead. He stopped and his feverish laughter continued as he dropped to his knees. The first one had the right idea, the reason why he had been so maddeningly gleeful in ending his own life was because it was an end to this hell.
Hands on the floor, he looked at the guns strewn about. He couldn't tell if they had any bullets left and wondered if they did. If they truly could just bring an end to it all.
If the foreign laugh hadn't snapped him out of the thought, the foot to his side did as he landed next to the employees. Clutching where he'd been struck, he cried out and looked up with his eyes narrowed in pain.
He didn't recognize the person in front of him, yet he did. He'd seen her before, but she was just a little paper doll with deformed, exaggerated features.
A woman with long, purple hair looked at him with bulging eyes, clutching at the side of her bloodied face as she laughed, missing her pinky. Anastasia looked at him and cackled.
"Manager, that's you, isn't it!? You're here with us!" She said between laughs. "Do you like it here? It's so quiet now that I shut up all those clerks, isn't it great?"
Anastasia bent forward as she kept laughing then threw her head back, shaking all the while. In her other hand, she held the standard issue riot stick with a white-knuckled grip.
"Hey, manager? Why'd this all get so screwed up all of a sudden?" She asked. "I just joined this Wing after staying in the Backstreets for so long. I ate rotten beans last month and got here after being a Rat for so, so long. I thought I didn't need to be afraid of losing more fingers running past Thumb Soldatos. I thought I could just leave it all behind and be happy for once in this goddamn hole of a City, after suffering through all that."
She laughed harder and harder and stopped only to speak again.
"So why'd it all go to shit just like that!? It's because of you, isn't it!? You fucked it all up and got us into this mess!"
Anastasia slammed the riot stick on his ankle and he screamed as he felt something break. She lifted the weapon again and slammed it another time as he nearly bit his tongue off. He felt the cold brush of one of the clerks' handguns as he spread his arm.
"It's all you…all because of you…" She laughed shakily. "But at least I won't die alone, not anymore."
His hand clenched into a fist.
"Were you born in L Corp's Nest? I guess it doesn't matter." Anastasia said as she slouched over again. "It doesn't matter. You. Me. We're both dying like Rats!"
Using both hands, she hefted the riot stick over her head. A bang rang out and she staggered back. He breathed raggedly as he held the smoking gun in his hands. Another shot hit her in the shoulder, the third hit her stomach, somehow the fourth hit her head even with his trembling grip. He pulled the trigger again and again even after she'd dropped dead. The empty clicking of the gun continued for a full minute.
He continued laughing, howling even as the pain from his broken leg continued to wrack him.
He wanted to turn the barrel on himself and couldn't. He killed someone else. Why? Why? Why?
The answer was obvious, even through the immense, blinding pain.
"I…I don't want to die."
He laughed at the ridiculous little admission. Even now, even in spite of everything, he didn't want to let go of a single thing. He wanted to wake from the nightmare he found himself in, but knew full well this was no dream.
As if trying to spurn him, the intercom came to life with one last message as the emergency lights turned off.
"State of Fourth Trumpet Declared. To the manager and all remaining employees, we thank you for your service. The facility is done for, as are your roles."
Left in the darkness. He laughed one last, sad laugh as he clutched his ankle, only further hurting himself. He didn't want to die, but this was where it all ended.
He heard a child crying. Shifting himself around the many corpses, he moved to be able to see the door. A faint, warm light shined and lighted up the corridor as the cry drew nearer. Soon, it was able to illuminate the corridor further.
He couldn't distinguish the figure well in the darkness, but he saw it. A tiny, small figure with a flame behind it.
"Matchstick…" he muttered, not even sure of why he even did so.
The tiny, burnt corpse drew closer to him, looming over him even though she was so much smaller than him in truth.
The girl looked at him as she sobbed.
"You've been burnt to ashes, just like me." The girl said.
He just laughed. Pity? From the monster that had killed so many of his employees before? It felt like an insult. But now it was all he could take.
Sitting down in front of him, the girl sniffled.
"My grandmother once told me that when a star falls from the sky, someone went to heaven." She said "I can't see the stars here. Were all those red lights like stars?"
He couldn't answer. In his state he couldn't answer at all.
The girl put down something in front of him. A little match. Completely commonplace, with nothing special about it.
"It's just too sad to die alone…you know?" She said as she looked at him. "This is my last match. Let's light it up to see the warm stove, the delicious roast goose, the magnificent Christmas tree."
Falling silent, biting down on the pain, he grabbed the match. He put it against the metallic floor and with a shaky breath, he struck it alight.
He held it up and looked at the flame. It flickered faintly, warming him up slightly. It was just a common fire, and yet as he looked at it…it was almost like he could see something within it. A room, with a familiar bed, desk and computer screen, with model kits, boxes, sanding sticks, isopropyl alcohol and various books on the shelves. A brown gated home, where two people waited for him. Sometimes they were too much, but they meant well. A life that was gone, ashes in the wind.
"I wanna go home."
He sniffled as tears ran down his face. The room was only lit by the flame of the match.
The Little Match Girl cried as well.
"Me too."
The match burnt out and darkness reigned over the facility.
Blearily, the man stirred from slumber. Things felt wrong instantly. In his position, he'd quickly surmised that nothing was right. The chilly air stung at his eyelids, not the ashes and tears. He snapped as he reclined back in his seat and started hyperventilating as he looked around.
In a second, he felt disoriented. Deeply afraid even. The room he was in was all too familiar, the large space which he had no choice but to claim for himself was his own personal hell, one he was not permitted to leave, even after he'd fallen to insanity.
He soon realized he wasn't alone.
"Hello, X." Angela spoke, giving a bow as she approached the desk. "I give you a warm welcome to-"
"No!" He cut her off. "Why am I still here!?"
The AI snapped her eyes open, with outright shock writ large on her face.
Chapter 4: A Warm Welcome to ~ Our Interminable Hell
Chapter Text
Angela took a breath. She didn't need air, but the motion felt natural. An impulse which seemed right, even though she was not and never would be human.
It all came to an end, soon after the state of Fourth Trumpet was declared. She could not even see X's very final moments, but she imagined they must have been miserable, like all the rest. Either the Scorched Girl got to him or he took up another gun and put an end to it all. Whichever happened, an alarm rang only in her head. One she'd grown sick of hearing as many times as she had.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
It all came to an end.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
And it all began anew. The TT2 protocol winding back the hands of time and leaving her in the same place as always, with a new X and a new, yet droll and tired beginning she had seen enough times to drive a human insane.
X seemed to be disturbed in his sleep. It didn't matter. Things would continue apace. He soon heard as he awakened from his slumber with a start. It happened, every so often.
"Hello, X." She repeated the same line as she ever did. "I give you a warm welcome to-"
"No!"
The interruption was sudden and unexpected. Never before had that happened.
"Why am I still here!?"
Angela could not keep her eyes shut. Opening her eyes wide, her mouth hung slightly open.
"What…?" The word couldn't help but escape her. She stared at X in absolute disbelief. Had he somehow retained the memories of the previous loop? No, it was too early to say, but it was still very much…
He was getting up from his chair. To her it seemed like minutes, where to him it must have been fractions of a second. She locked the doors of the room. More time passed and he finally managed to fully stand up. More time passed and she finally bothered checking X's mental corruption levels. One hundred percent.
He remembered. How? That had never happened. The closest was the memory synchronization process, and even that did not return the knowledge of prior cycles. As he desperately banged on the door and screamed, she didn't bother to answer. Instead, she accessed the TT2 Protocol, the parts of it that she had been allowed to, at least, and prepared herself. Perhaps another repeat would remove the issue. She input the data necessary to gain authorization. Once it was done…
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
They began anew.
And X woke up. Once more he was in a state of panic. She checked the mental corruption levels once more. One hundred percent. She input the data again.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
One hundred percent mental corruption.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
One hundred percent mental corruption.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
One hundred percent mental corruption.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
X laughed wildly as he woke, throwing his head back.
"What kind of sick joke is this!?" He screamed at her. "What do you want from me!? Why am I still here!? I shouldn't even be here, don't give me any of that bullshit about me choosing this!"
Angela could not reply. She couldn't begin to formulate one in the first place. For him, it was a short few moments. For her it was far too long, stuck in her own head and with her own thoughts. Somehow, out of nowhere, her actions suddenly had permanence. All that she had done to him, all that she could do to him in the future…he could finally remember.
Him, who'd trapped her in this hell for a million years, had finally begun to see one one-millionth of the pain she was forced to endure.
After so long, she had grown to find…vindictiveness. When the memory synchronization took place and she had ended up with Ayin instead of X, she dispensed with all pleasantries and spoke her mind more freely. She had grown to resent him, for trapping the both of them there. Benjamin told her that he just needed a little bit more time, and yet, ten thousand years of constant repetition were not enough to acknowledge her.
To see him hurt had grown to entertain her. It wasn't that she took pleasure in it, it was just because she had nothing else, as he had given her nothing. And now…to see him having truly, fully lost his mind beyond repair…it only hurt her.
The project, the entire endeavor for which he had trapped her in an endless, ridiculous hell, could never come to fruition now, with him standing as he was. It was all ruined. Shattered to pieces. One million years of suffering, of constantly torturing those she initially wanted to help, of seeing deaths upon deaths pile up into a mountain of corpses that could fill the world several times over, of constant exploitation for a nebulous goal which demanded suffering…
Everything she had worked for once willingly, then resignedly, then with absolute antipathy. All one million years of it, rendered worthless.
"You did this to yourself." She snapped back, her words full of venom. "You think your hands are clean, manager? This entire, worthless endeavor was your idea. What do I want from you? Why are you here? I don't know. I've never known what motivated you to go to such lengths. What do you want from yourself? What is it that you were hoping to achieve in the first place? Look at yourself in the mirror and ask those questions."
His rage was beginning to reach a fever pitch as he tried to get up and only stumbled, hitting his head on the desk. As he looked up, he stopped entirely.
The non-reaction confused her. He sat down and stared at the turned off screen. His hands went to the sides of his face, lightly caressing his cheeks, touching his own skin as if testing it.
"That's not me."
He chuckled with a lopsided, shaky grin. She didn't understand.
"That's not me."
He laughed as he pulled his hands next to his face. What was even going on?
"That's not me!"
He screamed as he grabbed a hold of the screen, trying to rip its cables as he pulled it away from the desk. He only managed to complete the motion because the cables found a good spot to disconnect. He threw the screen at the floor, away from her.
"That's not my face! That's not who I am! Fuck off! Who is that!? It's not me! It's not me!"
As he slammed his fists into the surface over and over again, with shards of the screen digging into his skin. Angela just stared at the man.
After a million years, she had found yearning. Yearning for an end to this interminable hell. As long as it was all over, she could accept anything that happened.
But now…now there was no chance of things turning around. Ayin would suffer eternally, as she had. But she would never stop suffering in turn. To hurt him felt empty. She wanted more, she wanted…
She didn't know what she wanted, at this point, after so long.
She found herself staring at the man as he cried into the floor…and she shut her eyes once more. If things would never change…there was no point in even trying to find out.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
It all came to an end.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
And it all began anew.
X had stopped screaming, instead just getting off his chair and moving towards his room.
At first, Angela decided to neglect everything for the first time. Let everything take its course without her, because there was no point in trying in the first place.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
It all came to an end.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
And it all began anew.
Soon after, she decided to instead put in the bare minimum amount of effort. The constant alarms and calls from the Sephirah asking about the manager had gotten on her nerves. She maintained the facility in tip top shape with barely any effort. Just enough to stop the automated resets from happening too often. The first loops did not even involve X, after all, so if he never presented himself, then the system would keep things going until they reached the point where the script demanded his presence.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
It all came to an end.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
And it all began anew
She had been surprised, after a point, that X hadn't even tried to kill himself. It was pointless, but the lack of an attempt was more than could be said of Ayin after the memory synchronization in a number of loops.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
She created macros to automatically respond to the Sephirah's queries about the new manager who was supposed to come in.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
She lowered the volume of so many alarms and formulated immediate responses so that she might not be bothered.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
She shut more than her eyes, she decided to fully shut herself to the world. It was all pointless in the end as it was, wasn't it?
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
So it had no right to bother her. She'd just slip into a numbness with the constant awareness that time passed, but nothing of worth would move. She had found desire and now? She desired nothing but cold, empty silence.
Was that what death felt like? She could never know, as a machine. In the end, there'd be no final words, no concluding statement, no point.
This project…
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Error ! >
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
This was the only way it could have ended.
Years passed. The only thing that broke the silence was the sound of the chair rolling away and the footsteps that walked off to the side to a room she would not enter and she would not care for. The doors which opened and closed every so often…and the alarms, though they only came after years of silence. That made them more bearable.
Nothing more could disturb her.
Two years. Four. Six.
More and more time passed. She first thought it to be the most blissful time she'd had since millions of years ago. It wasn't, a part of her acknowledged. It was just deprivation of all else. But when all else was the way it was, there was no point in having anything at all.
Thirteen years, two hundred and sixty five days, and seventeen hours passed to her before something else disturbed her.
"Angela."
X spoke up. She…
She wanted to ignore him. It was all his fault at the end of the day. But she couldn't help herself. What was it that he wanted? She had…
"I…I want to talk with you, Angela." He continued. "About everything."
She didn't want to listen to it. She wanted no part of it. She didn't have to indulge him. She…
She opened her eyes after so, so long. She saw X, an absolute wreck, standing in front of her. With an unkempt stubble and unhealthy pallor, he looked like a different person altogether. She didn't answer him, she just looked at him and he withered under her gaze.
"If now isn't a good time…I'll try again later." He said as he took a breath and looked away. "I'm going to go-"
"What is it?" She asked just before he could turn to leave. He seemed to be startled but he took a breath.
"Let's take a seat, it's…" He shook his head. "It's a lot."
A seat? The manager's chair could support her weight, yes, but if he took it, where would she be seated? They only had one- Oh, he had brought the chair from his room all the way to the office. That explained the unfamiliar sound she'd heard a few hours ago. She followed him as he moved towards the chairs and to her surprise, he'd picked out the one he'd brought, leaving the chair behind the desk all to her.
After she took her own seat, he slouched forward, putting his elbows on his knees and his head over his hands.
"Where do I even start with this…?" He said, unsure of himself.
"You wished to talk with me and didn't even know that much?" She snapped back at him, though she just kept her tone as mild annoyance.
"I'm no good at this. It took a lot of effort to just get up and work up the will to try in the first place." He grouched at her, but then took a moment to breathe again and tried again. "So…who am I supposed to be, exactly?"
A difficult question to answer in full, but she provided what she knew she could without causing issues with the scenario, off the rails as it had already been taken by the sudden permanence of his memory.
"You are X, the newly hired Manager of Lobotomy Corporation." She said.
"And that's where the problems start. That's not my name in the first place." He said with a shake of his head. She raised her brow at the statement and the absolute surety of it. "My name is Alphonse, and I had absolutely nothing to do with Lobotomy Corp or any of this in the first place."
She remained silent as she apprised his words, he seemed to be truthful, yet-
He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "And, no, I'm pretty sure I'm not some kind of…second personality created as a trauma response or anything stupid like that. I don't know what it'd take for me to convince you, but I'm someone else that's ended up in this body, somehow."
"And you're sure of this because…?" She asked, full of skepticism.
"Well, I sure didn't have piss-yellow eyes." He snapped at her, but then seemed to try and keep himself in check. "There's also the fact that I know my face doesn't look like this and that I know I can't grow a halfway decent-looking beard." He traced his stubble and moved away from it. "My facial hair never looked all that good, so I always tried to go for a clean shave. Also, I lost like, an inch in height. That one took me a while longer to figure out."
Angela didn't know what an 'inch' was, but it was surely some kind of measurement. Even still she found herself skeptical, but she saw him snap his fingers.
"Right. The cognition filter. Is there a way you can look at what it displays?" He asked. "It stopped working, but back then, I just saw myself. It was a little off, somehow, but it definitely was me."
"It's not entirely beyond me." She answered and…well, save for the one, very specific case of one particular ALEPH abnormality, and after Ayin's request during one loop, the Sephirah, the cognition filter was largely automatic in how it acted, unless she adjusted the sensitivity.
She activated the cognition filter, then turned the powered off screen on the desk towards him. Accessing the filter's cache, she-
Angela saw an entirely different person altogether. That was not Ayin. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
He was being truthful, at least as far as he understood. Of course, she still believed the most likely answer to be that he was, unlike what he claimed, some kind of unforeseen trauma response. But that just begged the question of how that could ignore the TT2 protocol. And, even if he was something other than that, that question remained regardless.
Singularities ignored all laws of nature, physics and logic. She understood that much. Could some outside actor have used one in an attempt transfer his consciousness to the manager's body in an attempt to extract information? The odds were not zero, but it was definitely unlikely. T Corp and W Corp had not had much dealings with them in years in the outside world beyond contract renewals and R Corp was perfectly content to, as Myo had put it, stay on their lane. Other Wings had been negotiating on and off with them, but she'd always dealt with that through proxies and completely off-site.
What if it was not outside, but perhaps within, then? The Abnormalities, and indeed, the facility itself were deeply connected to the human mind, especially the manager's. Could something have been the catalyst for such a change? Truthfully, no. The most recent loops prior to this incident had been unremarkable as could be. Solidly in the average range of length, with no progress made towards the realization Ayin required, nor with any particularly…exotic Abnormalities which could affect the facility so deeply.
There was absolutely no satisfying answer to the question. It was incredibly irksome and yet…fascinating. For the first time in an unbearably long time, she was faced with something utterly new and unique that she didn't already know how to deal with in excruciating detail. The new question there then was…
"Assuming I am giving you the benefit of the doubt," She said and she got him to snap to attention, after he'd begun staring at his reflection, "What exactly do you want?"
"...that's a bit more complicated." He said with a shake of his head, apparently thrown off whatever he wanted to say before. "I don't want to be here and I'm…assuming I'm getting in the way of whatever you have going on, right?"
She nodded. A correct assessment, though it wasn't as though X himself, when it was just him, wasn't doing a splendid job of getting in his own way.
"Thought so," The man gave a nod of his own. "And correct me if I'm wrong but you really…don't have a way to get rid of me, peacefully or otherwise. If there was, then it'd be a done deal at this point."
"That is an accurate summation, yes" Angela confirmed. "The point being?"
"I'm getting to it, I'm still…really just bracing myself." He said with a shuddering breath. "There is a way out of this…timeloop bullshit, isn't there? Otherwise, you wouldn't have dropped all those symbolism-laden statements when we were starting. There is a way to make all of this end and make it so we don't have to do this anymore. There's a point to this."
Angela wasn't sure of how exactly to answer it. She could not give too many details too early, as the script willed. Yes, they'd well and truly gone off it, but between the permanence of his memory and the fact that the TT2 Protocol still worked, there was a possibility that telling him would cause a scenario error…whose conditions were still met in the reset due to knowing things, resulting in another reset that would result in another reset ad infinitum.
Either the TT2 Protocol would short out and finally free all of them from this hell…or it would continue to work and leave them stuck in loops lasting mere seconds, with the alarms screaming in her head and sending her into a new kind of sensory hell.
It was not a gamble she'd take.
"And you believe you can find the 'point' in all of this?" She answered with a measured, if harsh, response. "You don't have the mental fortitude to do so. You broke down miserably when faced with the smallest crisis, letting all your losses pile up one after the other until you could not handle a true catastrophe. What makes you think you will be able to manage the facility any better this time?"
Although he withered back, he took a moment and replied.
"I don't know if I can, but I know I can't just stay like this. I'm tired, Angela." He replied, his expression twisting something inside her, just because of how unfamiliar it was. "You can only muck around in your own filth and misery for so long until you reach the point where it's all just…exhausting. I'm sick of feeling like this."
"You could just as easily wander around the facility and do things other than to take responsibility for all of this." Angela snapped back at him. "You clearly want no part in Lobotomy Corporation's goals and the methods it is using to reach them, so why even bother?"
"Because I see the bars of this cage and I want out!" He retorted as he got off his seat loudly and began to walk and gesture. "What else am I supposed to do? I have to do it, I'll have to grit my teeth and take the punches, because otherwise, I'll end up as a truly broken pile of nothing. I could go out there into the facility, start making friends, start getting to know every single person in this place down to the last minute detail, know them so intimately that I get sick of them over the course of hundreds, thousands, millions of years and we'd end up in the exact! Same! Place!"
Angela stared at him, her features narrowing. She…hated? Yes, she hated his words. They were all too keen. It was galling that he could see the problem so easily after so little time. Why was it that Ayin could only acknowledge her suffering once his mind shattered beyond repair? This time, to the point that he didn't even recognize himself as the same person?
But he was right. This hell would exist and continue to exist for countless years unless it all came to the conclusion he had decided upon. She was well and truly sick of it. She wished he could put an end to it all, already. The script, the Sephirah and the facility itself.
And the only way to do so, was to reach the end of the scenario. If he wanted to continue, even as he was, to lay it all to rest…
"So be it, then." She said, nodding her head. "So what will you do…manager?"
The man took a deep breath to compose himself, then moved back to his seat.
"What can you tell me about what I have to do?" He let out a sigh as he sat back down. "And, well, about the facility itself?"
"Only that most of what you need to know will be clear in time." Angela answered after some consideration which must have seemed instant to him. "First worry about being able to get through a single day without a panic attack."
He seemed shocked by the statement and its harshness. Good, she would not act the part of the demure little assistant if she could help it. She would, of course, support him as he needed so that he didn't stop, but she would not-
The corners of his mouth started curling in an unexpected way, and within minutes, she saw as he started grinning. Then of all things, he started laughing.
"God, that would be a good start, wouldn't it?" He said as he pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "I won't make promises but…I'll get better at it, partner."
Angela's brow twitched involuntarily. It truly was galling to see the sort of attitude he'd taken, and to be called that…she supposed she was at fault for continuing to feed that canned line about being the manager's perfect partner to so many instances of X that it became a habit.
"See to it that you do." She simply replied. "Shall we begin now?"
"Well, when we do, we'll have, like…forty minutes or so to really start the workday, right?" He said with a shrug. "Little less, if I want to stop Malkuth from killing that employee."
Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him. "That is quite literally absolutely pointless, manager. Why should you care for one single employee who is already at the brink of breaking?"
This time, he actually found his spine rather quickly.
"Pointless? What, just because if we have to do the entire thing over then I'll have to do it again? Because losing one's life is pointless in a time loop?" He shook his head. "Bullshit, Angela. I can accept that I'll fuck up and get people killed, or that some unforeseen accident will happen and we'll lose people, but standing there with my arms crossed like some kind of psycho CEO? Fuck that."
No, it was because she didn't want to entertain his delusions of being a better person than he actually was by something as arbitrary as saving lives. Angela couldn't help but slump slightly as she bit down on the urge to sigh.
He would be insufferable when he found out about what she had to do with Chesed, wouldn't he?
Alas, after a lengthy conversation where she failed to convince him not to do that…
It all came to an end.
< ! Seed of Light Scenario Reactivated ! >
And it all began anew.
Chapter 5: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.1 ~
Chapter Text
"Alright," Alphonse breathed in, smacking his chops and nodding to himself. "I've got this. I've got this."
"Manager, although at this point we've discussed this for longer than needed," Angela glanced at him with lidded eyes, "I would still like to remind you of the utter pointlessness of this endeavor."
"I'm not backing down, Angela." He simply answered and took another breath. "If I manage it, I'll manage it. If I don't…well, I'll manage it too."
She didn't reply to his rambling but he already imagined she was pretty much mentally rolling her eyes at him. She'd given off that vibe. She didn't believe in him but frankly, although he wasn't too sure himself, he'd still give it his best shot.
Now that he was aware that this entire situation had a possible end point, he would try to get through it as best he could. Yes, he did fuck up horribly last time. Yes, he was having a lot of trouble managing the facility at first, but over the course of his pity party and trying to lift himself up from it, he did eventually come to the conclusion that he was getting…if not better at the job, then at least better informed.
Knowing how the Abnormalities operated was key to making sure that no one died in the process. Having the employees be properly prepared to deal with them was the other component, and that involved making sure they survived and worked with Abnormalities to get the experience to know what to do in all situations. A real positive feedback loop, if there ever was one, so long as he made sure to keep it running.
Taking one last breath he nodded.
"Alright. Let's meet Malkuth, then."
Angela shook her head, but regardless of her objections she followed him as the door to the main room of the Control Team opened up and the two arrived in short order. Unlike last time, Malkuth wasn't there, but it didn't take long until he heard the steps and one of the doors on the opposite side opened up.
"Manager, manager!" Malkuth said brightly "I arrived just on time, right? The time iiiiiis…only about one minute late. Well, I guess it still counts as 'on time!' Congratulations on joining Lobotomy Corporation, manager!"
Facing her once more, he couldn't help but be taken aback. He knew it was just the cognition filter, but Malkuth was…an assault on the senses, in a way. She was rather cute, coming up to his nose, with brown hair in a bobcut, a red headband and a bright smile as she held onto a well-worn and used clipboard and pen. She kind of reminded him of a golden retriever, really, with her bright attitude and enthusiasm.
He did, however, remember her handling of the whole thing last time. Yes, it was company policy, but to just go ahead with it with a smile…
He shook his head and smiled slightly.
"Good morning. Malkuth, right? It's a pleasure to meet you."
Malkuth seemed to brighten up immensely at his words, so much so that it was downright uncanny to him. Before he could let that show on his face, though, Angela spoke up.
"I do not want to disturb this touching moment, Malkuth," She said, her words seeming…no, being the exact same as they were last time, "but every second counts in Lobotomy Corp. Please make your introduction as brief as possible and go prepare for the meeting."
"Hm, it seems Miss Angela isn't in a good mood today…" Malkuth mused as she looked back at him. "But hey, at least everyone is looking forward to meeting you! Well, maybe…not all of them, but still!"
"Understandable, you all had things running fine without me and now you've got me mucking up things." He said, perhaps a bit too cheekily considering what he planned to do. "I'm not surprised I'm not exactly welcomed by a lot of the Sephirah."
"Don't let it get you down, manager! I'm here to help you!" Malkuth straightened out with pride. "The Control Team has a great deal of responsibility! We monitor the employees and Abnormalities and plan the best course of action, giving immediate orders to other employees whenever you are occupied with other areas. We'll try our best to help you improve your day to day management of the facility, manager!
"I appreciate it, Malkuth. Thanks for the hard work." He answered with a nod.
And there it was again, the uncanny cheer at his words. It was making him uncomfortable, the way she seemed to appreciate the offhand comments as though he were giving her the world. It was cute, admittedly, but he wasn't sure what to make of how she latched onto them.
Then, they heard the banging at the door, loud and desperate. He took a deep breath when he heard it.
"I can't take it anymore! Manager, you're in there, right!?" The employee screamed from beyond the door, with his words only slightly muffled.by it. "I have to get out of here, please! I know you're capable of it, you're the manager! You're not the same as the rest of us! You can do anything!"
Malkuth had turned to the door, still keeping her smile, but something was definitely off about it.
"Don't worry about that, manager. That's just an employee from the Control Team. Since they belong to my department, I'll take care of this!" She said as she looked at him expectantly.
Well, showtime.
"Normally I'd agree, but I want to hear him out Malkuth." He said, sheepishly putting a hand behind his head. "I mean, there's only so much I'll be able to do for them, but I think it's worth listening to their grievances."
There. A perfectly neutral, but direct statement. The employee stopped banging on the door and had gone silent, possibly having heard his words.
Malkuth was silent as well, just looking at him with a smile on her face.
"Manager, I think you should keep this in mind." The Sephirah spoke slowly, as if explaining something to a child. "The Control Team is on top of all others, just like the central nervous system of a human being. Our team is the most important and vital of all. If an employee says they 'can't take it anymore', then they are no longer part of my Control Team."
Alphonse sucked a breath in through his teeth.
"Open the door, Malkuth." He ordered more directly.
Malkuth remained silent, simply keeping her smile in place.
"No! Manager, you- you've gotta help me!" The employee said while panicking.
"Malkuth, this is not a request, please open the door now." He repeated, now allowing his anger to start showing.
"You may be the manager, but I would like it if from this point forward, you respected my authority as Sephirah of the Control Team." Malkuth said with a nod, her smile remaining in place even though her tone was a tad lower than before. "How I handle matters here is up to my judgment and not something you should be concerned with, understood, manager?"
From beyond the door, he heard the screams of the employee as they were dragged off somewhere else. He didn't say anything further and simply took deep breaths as the Sephirah looked up at his eyes from where she stood.
"Duly noted." He said, fighting back the urge to growl at her in anger. "If that's all, I'm leaving to prepare for the start of the workday, now."
He held back and bottled up the scream. He didn't need to destroy his throat right now.
Alphonse's scream was muffled by the pillow he'd brought from his room. Angela just stared at him as she waited for him to finally get it out of his system.
As he put the pillow down on the desk, crossed his arms over it and put his head over them, she finally chose to speak up.
"Excellent work, manager." Angela said with a completely flat tone as she stared at him. "I think you did your best. Would you like me to start over from the beginning so you can fruitlessly try again?"
He just gave her the stink eye for a moment, then got off his seat.
"You know, I'm fine with you being candid, Angela." He said as he nursed his forehead and paced around. "But do you have to be so goddamn vicious?"
"Do you have to be so goddamn persistent in matters that do not matter in any way, shape or form?" Angela half-parroted at him, tilting her head slightly.
"They do matter! I don't care if that's just how the facility is supposed to be run, that's fucking psychotic!" He shot back.
He stopped in place and then put his palms over his face. He groaned and then dragged them back down.
"Okay, fuck it. I won't engage with you on the morals of this shit if that's the problem." He said as he slumped slightly while looking at Angela. "From an efficiency standpoint, that's just straight up wasteful. If it comes down to it, I'm guessing the company would rather prioritize energy production over losing employees?"
"If you wish to make the point that it is better to have more experienced employees rather than replace them all the time, then yes, that is correct." Angela said with a nod, tripping him up with her words. "But discard the notion that all employees are equal in terms of obligation and possible long-term value. Unless you'd wish to continue this discussion through other points of view?"
He let out a breath then pinched his nose.
"Why are you like this?" He asked offhandedly.
"Why would I not be?" She shot back, almost as if expecting him to know the answer.
After an extended silence, he just sighed and went to his desk again, grabbing the pillow and saying, "I'm dropping this off and then getting ready for the workday."
"Why did you even bring it in?" Angela asked.
"Why would I not bring it in?" He asked spitefully.
"Must I list the reasons not to do so?" Angela was quicker on the draw and just kept staring at him judgingly. "Reason number one-"
"God, fine! Get off my back!" He threw his arms up in the air and left the room.
Once the door shut behind him, he leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, groaning all the while. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Couldn't he be given a break?
"No, not really…" he mused to himself as he got on his feet and moved all the way to his room, just standing on the doorframe before tossing his pillow into the bed and moving back to the office. Once there, he pulled away his seat and sat down.
"Alright, how are things looking…" He said as he began checking the facility. "One Sin, check. Employees for the day, ch-"
He stopped. He blinked. He turned to look at Angela. She returned the look completely unfazed. He looked back at the monitor. He rubbed his eyes. He looked at the monitor one more time as if that'd changed anything.
He looked at Angela again and asked "I know Yum-Yum and Isabel, but who's this Archer dude? Frank was the one in his place during the last loop."
Angela moved slightly and didn't answer immediately. It seemed she was actually carefully considering her next words.
"In order to provide variance, some changes may occur, as to open up more possibilities." She said, nodding once.
"Rather…odd way of answering that, but I get the vibe you're putting down." He replied in turn, glancing at the screen again. "And what about Abnormalities? Wouldn't other Abnormalities when starting help with some variance as well? Not that I don't appreciate having such a mild one, but…"
"One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds will invariably be present in the facility at all times." She answered, pausing for a moment and then adding. "As a preventative measure."
"Preventative measure?" He said with a raised brow. "What for?"
Angela didn't reply. As a matter of fact, she seemed intent on keeping her silence.
"Angela?" He continued. "Preventative measure for what?"
She, again, didn't answer. Just looking at him with half closed eyes.
"Angela?"
Nothing again.
"Angela?"
He decided to be annoying.
"Angela? Angela? Angela? Angie? Angle-la? La angle? Le'Angla? Le'ganla? Le'garde?"
"You're not getting an answer." She finally answered, finally, finally looking done with his shit.
He couldn't help but snicker. "Okay, okay. I'll figure it out when it's time to figure it out, then."
At the very least, he hoped she actually spoke up if the thing it was there for ended up being relevant. Until then, out of sight, out of mind. It was the best way to go about it, at the moment.
Chapter 6: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.2 ~
Chapter Text
The workday was done and over in an instant. He did extend it a bit just to make sure to have a surplus of energy for…E.G.O. gear, as it was called. He didn't know what the letters stood for, or even really get what it was, beyond it being weapons and armor that were created from the Abnormalities through some process.
That aside, he took another Abnormality from the Extraction Team. He asked Angela to please at least give him a hint as to what was good and what wasn't. She refused and didn't even ask the Extraction Team for vibes like last time…not that they made his decision back then any better.
And now, Alphonse took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door to the mess hall, with Angela only a few paces behind him. It had been his first time there, given he sort of…just tried his best to keep to himself and avoid dealing with people at first. That desire to isolate himself only got stronger after...after people started dying.
"Manager, the door is right in front of you." Angela stated flatly.
"Yeah, yeah…just taking a moment to compose myself." He replied with a sigh.
When he brought up the idea of getting lunch with the employees, Angela had (as she had been quickly getting into the habit of) stared at him like he said something monumentally stupid and slapped it down because forming attachments to the employees and knowing them as people would only hamper his ability to keep managing the facility.
But when he brought up his reason for it…she actually seemed rather willing to listen.
He wasn't doing it to be a 'nice boss', or to try and get some kind of…emotional support, even if he sorely needed that. Truth was, he didn't know what the hell was going on outside of the facility, what the world was even like beyond the walls he'd been trapped in.
The employees had their own lives outside of it, and even though this place was hell…it didn't seem like the outside was sunshine and rainbows either, the Nest, the Backstreets, Rats, Thumb Soldatos, the City.
He wanted to know about it. Angela said she could tell him some of it, but it seemed like she didn't have all the answers. And even if she did? There was a degree of separation between what she could tell him, and what the people who had to live and deal with it for their whole lives had to say about it.
He didn't want information, he wanted perspective .
And although Angela had been rather backhanded with it…it seemed she was okay with the idea, after he'd explained it for what it was. She would, of course, be following him so he didn't do anything too stupid. She was a woman of many roles, secretary, assistant, bane of his existence and now, chaperone.
AI or not, he didn't know how she kept up with it all.
"Alri-"
The door opened up before he even finished, leaving him in front of the mess hall, where everyone was chatting around for a while before turning to look at him, he turned to look at Angela, and she simply made a motion with her head to go ahead.
Oh, now this was actually her fucking with him after annoying her earlier.
He laughed awkwardly and raised a hand as he stepped into the room.
"At ease, at ease. Nothing special to see here, people." He said while making vague gestures in the air, and while some people did stop staring, not all of them did. Those that did, however, began speaking in hushed tones.
The mess hall was fairly standard as far as cafeterias went in terms of design, with a long serving line with trays and bundles of cutlery wrapped on napkins as well as a decent, but not particularly impressive or appetizing, selection of food, a kitchen behind a wall with an open slot, and so on and so forth. Angela just went and observed him from a distance, and he decided not to bother her more than he had to. For his part, given he was a little bit late, he didn't wait in line before he was served. The cook was one of the people least perturbed by his presence, quickly serving him a nice, large meal and letting him go free.
And once served, he moved over to a table with two people already seated, they both seemed a bit thrown off.
"Hey, it's no big deal if I sit here, yeah?"
One of the pair was a tad nervous, but the other just flashed him a grin
"Sure, go right ahead, boss!" Isabel answered without skipping a beat. He…he had to catch himself before he started thinking about her grisly death last time.
She had been a bit against it at first, but Angela agreed to lower the cognition filter to negligible levels when he interacted with employees face to face. In front of him sat two of his agents. Yum-Yum was a twenty…something year old with short, brown hair with…what looked like swirls naturally forming at the front and covering his forehead, he also had brown eyes and a pretty pale complexion.
Meanwhile, Isabel was younger than the both of them, clearly eighteen or nineteen or something, so basically still a kid. She had purple hair done in a pixie cut, with blue eyes and a bright smile. It reminded him a bit of Malkuth's, but her own seemed a little bit more sincere.
"Huh, thinking about it, where's Archer?" He asked as he set down his tray. Both Agents seemed a bit uncomfortable at the question as they looked to the right.
And…there he was, leaning against a wall. Archer was…quite the contrast. He couldn't really tell his age at a glance beyond 'around his age, maybe older but definitely below forty'. He had dark red hair done up in dreadlocks with some of it half-covering an eye, a very noticeable stubble, and a very…unhealthy looking grey skin tone. For a moment, he thought it was the cognition filter fucking with him, but not only was it off for the most part, when it was on, the cognition filter made everyone look white. Not as in, caucasian, but as in white white. Hex code #FFFFFF, capital W, White.
He seemed listless, with his eyes opened wide as he stared at the ceiling. Alphonse decided to draw closer to the man, and he didn't even regard him.
Once in front of him, he saw his green eyes. They were dead inside, well and truly. He couldn't help but feel deeply unnerved, for a reason he couldn't quite pin down.
"Uh, hey, Archer?" The manager greeted as he raised his hand slightly.
The agent was unresponsive. He did find it a bit weird when he just got curt 'mh's and 'got it's from the man during the workday, and this seemed to explain it.
"Hey, you already got lunch?" He asked, trying once more. "We co-"
"I have seen the face of God." The agent finally spoke up, still looking at the ceiling, his tone sounding as dead as his eyes looked.
"Uh…okay?" He wasn't sure what to say to that so he just jokingly asked. "Are they cute?"
Archer finally turned his head to look at him. It seemed as though he was looking past him, into his very soul.
"Meh."
The agent shrugged and kicked off the wall before walking off, leaving the room entirely.
"...the fuck?" He said as he moved back to the table.
"Well, you got more out of him than we did…" Yum-Yum said, moving his food with his fork. "Seriously, I thought he was an Enkephalin junkie on a high the moment I saw him but…I think he's just like that. "
"Wait, you can get high off of Enkephalin?" He asked as he looked at the pair when he sat down. Wasn't that the thing they got from the Abnormalities each time they worked with them?
They looked back at him like he was asking something monumentally stupid. In all frankness, it seemed like that sort of look was going to be a constant fixture of his life.
"Y-yeah?" Yum-Yum answered with a raised brow. "Aren't you, like, the manager ? It's the other thing it can be used for other than burning through it for energy. Why would you not know this?"
"Damn, I worked my ass off at the examinee town and they just picked you off the street or something?" Isabel said with a raised brow. "I mean, not that I didn't basically end up in that position anyways, what with me getting the letter before my finals, but still…"
"Okay, in fairness!" He raised his arms appeasingly. "I'm an amnesiac, I just woke up on the chair with the job and just had to adjust. I think I pissed off a higher up or something!"
He felt nervous even as the words just left his mouth in something of a slurry. It wasn't how he wanted to lay out the half-truth he'd settled on to try to break the ice but-
"Sheesh. That's rough, man." Yum-Yum shook his hand as if he'd gotten burnt, looking aside with a wince.
"Yeah, no kidding. You think you're gonna be alright, boss?" Isabel cupped her chin with a worried expression.
Instant acceptance. It was clear on their faces; they didn't question his words for even a second, they just heard them and accepted them as fact. It actually took him for a loop how easily they'd just gone with it. It…didn't seem like they were just agreeing because he was the manager or anything like that, either.
Was that just normal?
"Yeah, not a good time, but…" He sighed and began to unbundle his cutlery. "I'll live, somehow. I'll try not to be too much of a bumbling idiot when I do my job, so don't worry about that."
"Eh, it's all good. The work's simple enough." Isabel said with a shrug. "I heard some employees say some Abnormalities can just drive people insane just looking at them, but I'm sure they're exaggerating. I've seen some crazy things in the Backstreets, so I think I'll be fine, unlike Yummy-Yummy over here."
Alphonse took a sharp breath for a moment. Unbidden, the image came to his mind. Isabel, grasping at the sides of her head pulling her head up and up and up until it…
"Yummy-Yummy?" He said with a chuckle to distract himself, while Yum-Yum just sighed.
"Look, I might live in a Nest now, but that's only because my brother fought in the Smoke War and got us Nest Migration Permits." Yum-Yum sighed and pointed his fork at Isabel. "And I lived in District 23's Backstreets, so stop putting your foot in your mouth with those nicknames."
" Yikes , fair enough." Isabel winced and looked at her food with a…kind of grossed out expression.
"I'm a bit lost here…" Alphonse scratched at his head and began eating. Best not let his food get cold.
"Wait, really? Is everything we're saying going over your head?" Isabel asked with a raised brow, and when he nodded, she added, "Well damn, that's like…foundational knowledge, I guess. How are you rolling with the punches?"
"With difficulty." He answered after swallowing his food.
"Fair enough, but like, damn… damn , someone just hates you, huh?" Yum-Yum said as he scratched at the back of his head sheepishly.
"Can we get a raise if we give you like…City Life 101 classes?" Isabel said, winking at him.
"I'll see what I can throw in for a bonus." Alphonse replied with a laugh, which only got louder when she pumped her fist with a whispered cry of 'score!'.
He didn't know if that much was under his jurisdiction but…it was just words , considering the nature of his stay in this place, so he figured it wasn't going to matter unless they could all get out of it. If it happened…well, he'd have to fight tooth and nail for it, then.
"So, like…" Yum-Yum said, scratching at his chin. "Where do we even start?"
"I dunno, the City, Backstreets, Wings?" Alphonse shrugged. "Plenty of ground to cover."
"Hoo boy, we have our work cut out for us, huh?" The Agent added, taking a deep breath. "So like the City, yeah? It's where we all live. It's big, it's crowded and it's everyone's whole world. Sure, there's the Outskirts, but whoever lives there is probably insane, strong enough to not care or just hiding from the Wings and the Head."
"I'm following along, I'll let you know if there's something I'm not getting." Alphonse nodded. "So? Wings, the Head and Districts?"
"Yeah, so…" Isabel took over spinning her fork around in the air. "The Wings, yeah? They're the biggest corporations, companies, conglomerates…whatever, and they're the ones ruling over the City. There's corporations associated with letters from A to X, like Lobotomy Corporation for example, and people just call it L Corp for short, but…ah whatever, not important. What you need to know is that A Corp is the Head, the top dogs, the ones making all the calls along with B Corp, the Eye and C Corp, the Claw. As for Districts, they're the area controlled by each corporation, with each one having its own culture and all that."
"And each District is divided in the Nest and Backstreets, with the Nest being where the 'feathers', all the people working for the corporations, live at and the Backstreets…just kind of stretching all over the District like arteries. They're where all the poor bastards that aren't good enough to live at the Nest are at." Yum-Yum finished off for her. "That's the gist of it."
"And…what's the Backstreets like? You two mentioned you lived there, yeah?" Alphonse said and then…regretted it, when he saw the two employees' expressions.
"It's…it's rough." Yum-Yum said, sighing and shaking his head. "Syndicates doing whatever they want, Sweepers, the Night in the Backstreets, weird, unexplainable incidents, weird monsters and things prowling the streets and causing problems…if it's not one thing, it's another. It's why everyone wants to go to a Nest."
"Or join a Syndicate or Fixer Office, yeah." Isabel shook her head. "But not everyone can shell out for enhancements or half-decent Workshop equipment, so they just end up becoming Rats and living day by day trying to make ends meet. I'm lucky enough my parents taught me to read and write and I managed to start studying for the Wing Entrance Exams."
"On my end, I lucked out too. My older brother became a Fixer, and he was always there to help me out." Yum-Yum said, "We had a lot of rough times, but we pulled through somehow. With me joining L Corp like this, I think I should be able to take care of him now. He's not been the same since the War."
Alphonse had grown silent, feeling…like something had been cored out of him. A brother…
"Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and overshare." Yum-Yum sighed as he put down his fork. "But well…my story is not too different from other folks, I just got much luckier than all the rest, and even if I hadn't…that's just the way things are in the City."
"'Another cheap tragedy', right?" Isabel said, also seeming rather morose. "That's just how it is. It sucks but…what else can we really do but make the most of it, right?"
Alphonse took a deep breath, shaking his head.
"It is…what it is." He said out loud, with his eyes closed. "We do what we can with what we have…right?"
The agents seemed to agree with him. After a moment, they nodded.
"It is what it is." They both said, one after the other.
"Sorry for this whole thing, it all turned out..." He apologized quietly.
"No need to get too much into your thoughts on it." Isabel said with a shake of her head. "I think it's better if we just let the moment go."
"Yeah…sounds good."
It was all too much. He couldn't be fully detached and pretend that it wasn't his problem. Even if he left the facility…things wouldn't be easy for him.
Where was the City? Could he even return home after he was done?
'It is what it is.'
And yet those words weren't true. He wasn't sure he could just accept things being as they were and living like that, but for the moment…he just stopped and began to eat in earnest, remaining silent alongside his agents.
After an extended silence, Yum-Yum leaned forward slightly and spoke in a hushed tone
"Hey manager, don't turn around. There's a guy who's been looking at you weird for a while," He near-whispered. "You know him?"
"How's he look?" Alphonse asked nack quietly.
"I see him. He looked away," replied Isabel with a nod, "Silver hair, glasses, red tie, labcoat. Seems to be one of the researchers instead of a clerk or agent."
Alphonse nodded and lifted his arms with a loud groan, stretching a bit and turning to one side and the other. He did catch sight of the one they were talking about. He was…not familiar at all, not from the loop where he'd fucked up and not from the current one or any other situation. He was an absolute beanpole with green eyes, pretty soft features…he was pretty distinctive. He would have known if he knew him.
He pushed the thought out of mind for the moment and simply continued to eat.
"So, how was your conversation with the employees?" Angela asked as the two walked back to the office. "Was it what you were hoping for?"
"It was enlightening, though…difficult to swallow." He admitted with a deep sigh. "Lots of proper nouns for a lot of things. Concepts I don't know the last thing about and just…all around a lot of suffering."
"Indeed." Angela said with a nod, walking at his side. "A…friend of my creator once told me about the City. His exact words were; 'in the Backstreets, the likes of Sweepers and Fixers live out their lives tangled in vomit and waste, unraveling their sickening tales. Those who live in the Outskirts are still crying out to break into the City. Meanwhile, people in the City throw away their lives trying to belong to a Nest'."
She stared at him.
"I do believe his words rather succinctly sum up the sort of things you've learned from your employees."
"They do." He replied, and they both fell silent.
Her words felt like they had a little less bite to them. It didn't have the same undercurrent as before, if that made sense. If he had to guess…she wasn't reprimanding him for wasting time, just making an observation.
As they arrived at the office, he took a seat in his chair, looking at the ceiling.
"Hey…Angela?"
"What is it?" She replied.
After a moment of consideration, he found his words and asked the question.
"This facility, all of this inhumane bullshit…is it normal? "
From where she stood, she looked at him and he continued.
"No, let me ask you differently." He closed his eyes and continued. "Am I insane, for thinking that what we do here is wrong? Or is it the world that's wrong? Is it everyone else, just…accepting that things are the way they are because that's how they've always been? Is Lobotomy Corporation…'just another cheap tragedy' in the City?"
Angela didn't have an immediate response for him, but she did approach him.
"I cannot see what you see." She began. "Whatever thoughts you have, I'll never share in the exact same way, but what I can say is that the facility exists, has existed and will continue to exist for a purpose. All that happened, happens and will happen here…I refuse to call it something so demeaning as a 'cheap tragedy'. If it were then it would be the world itself that is in the wrong."
He didn't see her when she spoke it, but she said it with absolute conviction. Opening his eyes slightly, he raised his hand and looked at it. A few words came to mind before he stopped leaning back and instead bent forward and, putting his elbows on the desk, he took a breath.
"'This world is hostile to beauty.'" He quoted. "'May those who reject this aphormism find success.'"
Angela looked at him, very quietly looking at him.
"You mean aphorism?"
He groaned and let his head hit the desk
"Aw, fuck me. This is what I get, trying to quote something with words I don't really use." He grouched. "But the sentiment still stands."
It is not what it is. None of this is fine.
Chapter 7: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.3 ~
Chapter Text
"Angela?"
The manager's voice was…not haunted. More just confused than anything else.
"Yes?" She simply asked back.
He closed his eyes and breathed in a couple times before looking at her.
"What the fuck just happened?"
Angela nodded.
"Archer is dead." She replied, purposefully unhelpful.
He didn't reply. He just took a look at the containment unit, where the only thing inside was the Abnormality, and asked, "Is he?"
"In every way that matters to us, yes." Angela replied.
The answer didn't bother him too much, and it was actually kind of irksome that it wasn't. He scratched at his head and made to speak a couple times, though he didn't for a while
"Can we review the footage?"
Angela complied, showing him what happened on one of the monitors. He wasn't really horrified, just unable to understand what he was laying eyes on, even as he saw it one more time.
"Wait, pull it back a bit aaand…oh, I see the problem, the can was…" He scratched at his chin with a furrowed brow. "Uhhh…how do I even explain this to the employees…?"
"You don't need to." Angela said bluntly. "You saw that the Abnormality will not let them leave the room unless they comply, it's useless to warn them"
"It's still worth a try, we can open the door and send in more agents to escort them out or something, I don't know, but we'll try it next time. If it even happens." The manager replied as he crossed his arms. "I'd rather it didn't come to that, but forewarned is forearmed."
"When it comes to Abnormalities, forewarned is just fully conscious of the fate that awaits you." Angela retorted, only for him to move his head side to side while looking at the ceiling. "Knowing what will happen will only add to the employees' stress and increase mental corruption."
"Yeah, yeah, 'ignorance is bliss', yadda yadda…" He sighed and turned to face her. "For someone so intent on not giving any advice, you sure have a lot of things to say that I shouldn't even bother with."
"Because they are a waste of time, quite plainly." She retorted.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to watch me waste my time and step on the rakes you're telling me not to step on. And then you can clap and congratulate me sarcastically for a job well done and offer me to try again." He rolled his eyes dismissively. "Just like what happened with the whole Malkuth fiasco. Big deal, right?"
If Angela had been forced to vocalize how she was feeling at his remark, she would have not had an elegant way to do so. It was mostly frustration, of course, but it was different from the usual. She couldn't quite find the words and she had a whole thesaurus at her disposal. But whatever the specifics, it was still deeply unpleasant and she found herself hating him all the more for it.
She just took a breath, unnecessary as it was, and practically huffed at him. He just pressed the button to open up the intercom.
"Attention all agents, in regards to Abnormality…F-05-52, also known as Wellcheers. As you know, you will receive a drink at the end of the work and the Abnormality will not let you leave until it has been drunk." He warned the employees with a tired tone "From this point onwards, please make sure to always, always verify if the tab is closed. If it's opened, please do not drink the contents and instead signal me and wait for support to arrive. Otherwise, you'll be sent to the shrimp dimension. Thank you for your attention."
Angela looked at him in disdain.
"They're prawns." She corrected him spitefully.
"Potato, tomato. Same difference."
She had already begun to vocalize, but cut herself off in what to her was a few seconds and to him was less than a fraction of one.
He knew it wasn't the same, but he was being deliberately obtuse.
To take his own words, he was a right bellend.
Slowly, carefully…though sadly not without incident…he began to approach the point where he'd left off. There had been many losses, of both agents and clerks. Some understandable, some due to absolute horseshit and one due to…literally getting roofied by crustacean-men, which was not a sentence he even wanted to start unpacking…
But things were improving. Or at least were sustainable. They did not have to scramble to recover after suffering catastrophic losses like last time.
Also, no Army to worry about. That definitely helped ease his nerves.
He didn't like it, though. The facility was always a grim place and the lives of the employees were the most expendable thing there could ever be. He wasn't alone in thinking that it was fucked, but everyone seemed to accept it as a fact. It wasn't that they were apathetic, a lot of them were absolutely shaken up by the deaths, but life just…went on.
And he had to accept that too. More than a few employees died on his watch. He was not able to face them all the time. Yum-Yum and Isabel told him not to sweat it, and perhaps the worst thing was that…he felt like he was starting to get used to it. Part of that he could chalk up to the fact that he was hidden behind a bunch of screens and could only ever be allowed to see a bunch of paper dolls while on-duty, but another part just felt like…it was only natural, and that he should stop.
After a breath, he walked out of his room. He didn't do it with his head held high, but he didn't slouch overmuch. He was not happy with the state of things, perhaps never would be, but he was going to proceed nonetheless. He wasn't allowed to have a say otherwise, anyways.
Mid-stride, the door on the other end of the corridor opened up, and he managed to catch sight of Angela, simply standing at the door frame.
"Hey," He greeted with a lazy wave as he approached her, though he suddenly felt rather guarded. "Don't usually see you coming in here, Angela. Anything happen?"
"You have persisted a decent amount of time with only minor issues." Angela called out, waiting for him to approach and turning to walk with him when he was close enough. "And without breaking down in tears over the loss of completely replaceable employees. I believe congratulations are in order, you have shown some growth."
He just grunted in response. He'd clap back later, when he felt like it.
"In light of the marginal but notable progress that's being made, I do think it's high time you start meeting the rest of the Sephirah." Angela said with a nod. "I have already set up a meeting with Yesod. He will be expecting you shortly."
He sighed and shook his head.
"At the risk of essentially being told 'figure it out, dipshit'…" He muttered as he shrugged his shoulders. "What's Yesod like? And the rest of the Sephirah, for that matter? Am I going to have to deal with more Malkuths?"
"In regards to the rest, you will have to wait," Angela answered rather predictably, but she did continue. "As for Yesod himself, he is quite different from Malkuth."
In a bad or good way, she didn't clarify. So essentially, the same thing he expected.
"Right, then." He began with a sigh after the two entered and went past his office. "Yesod's…from the Information Team, right? Are they responsible for assigning Risk Levels?
"If you are thinking of doing anything for wrongfully grading Army in Pink-"
"No, I'm not going to throttle them for it, even if I would have in the moment." Alphonse threw his arms in the air. "I'm just wondering how the grading works, because that one sure as shit wasn't a ZAYIN by any metric."
"The grading process is not as simple a matter as taking a little sample, loading it up into a machine for analysis and magically getting the result." Angela dismissively said. "It is a complicated process that is done through careful observation of the Abnormalities and for which great pains are taken and employees risk limb and life to ensure the quality of. Grades can also be in a constant state of flux for a long time, as more is found about the Abnormalities."
Angela looked at him, quite bored as she pushed the elevator's button.
"None of what is being done in the corporation is done in haphazard half-measures, so do keep any comments and complaints about it to yourself."
"I wasn't gonna say anything, for fuck's sake…" He loudly complained and rolled his eyes. "Let's just go meet the man himself and shelve the rest for later."
Angela shook her head as they both went into the elevator, descending for a while in silence. The elevator kept going down, further than when they were going towards the Control Team. It made sense if the facility was based off of the Sefirot but upside down…though he still didn't know why it was upside down in the first place.
Left with his thoughts, he could do little else but keep following the line of thought. Was the inversion meant to represent that they were instead…Qlippoth? He wasn't sure, especially without knowing how the Qlippoth Meltdowns and Deterrence figured into it. Frankly, his knowledge on the subject was surface level and that was a problem for him.
There was a reason for all the names and references to Kabbalah. It couldn't just be a cheeky little bit the founder of L Corp decided he was going for, just for funsies. Unfortunately, Alphonse came to war without a gun; he was not an avid scholar of esotericism, just a guy who knew some of the big names and some of the concepts in some of the many schools of thought.
How was he supposed to expect the Sefer Yetzira and the writings of Aleister Crowley to be on the required reading list before finding himself in the nightmare pit of a facility he was now trapped at?
Annoyed, but unable to do much else about it, he stepped off the elevator along with Angela. The two walked through the hallways of the Information Team's department, and truthfully…it was a bit striking. The place had a more sleek look to it, with the walls having a purple tint to them and a few white lines descending with light along the walls, almost as if patterned after circuitry. When they arrived at the main room, the first thing he noticed was that it actually populated by people working, unlike the Control Team back during his first visit, and they were sitting in front of holographic screens.
It took him for a loop momentarily. Having taken over…the manager's body, was an unreal experience already. but this kept driving in the fact that he surely was in another world. Angela and the Sephirah were one thing, but just looking at the clerks, dressed in purple, interacting with holographic displays with their bare hands, using the projections as interfaces…it was downright surreal.
He managed to focus again though, as someone approached them. Not a clerk but a man he could only assume to be Yesod by his stark white skin. He was almost as tall as him and dressed similarly to any other agent, just like Malkuth was, but with the addition of a black turtleneck and a pair of gloves of the same color. Additionally, he had a purple tie to match his hair and the armband with a Y on it.
The man crossed his arms once in front of him and very clearly started to scrutinize him. Before, Alphonse would have faltered at his stare, but now he only flinched slightly before asking. "Is something the matter?"
He wasn't sure if the man just had a case of resting bitch face or if he was annoyed at him somehow, yet it didn't take long for him to speak up and confirm it was the latter.
"Manager, you are the head of this corporation. You are supposed to set an example for others, but that outfit and unkempt hair would warrant at least fifteen penalty points in our department."
He did not manage to hold back his sigh at the man's assertion…but he did manage to catch himself and stop the intrusive thoughts from winning and telling the man to bite him or asking about the penalty points for someone having a visible stick up their ass.
"You are right, my threads are horrid but they're all I've got. If it was a problem, I should have been given a uniform."
The man did not seem to like the answer, but it was the best he was getting. The hair he had little excuse for, so Alphonse didn't even try.
"Let the record say that the only reason I have not imposed any penalty points on you is because the Sephirah have no such authority." He shook his head, "Regardless…I am Yesod, the Sephirah of the Information Team."
Alphonse nodded. "Well met. So, what exactly are the duties of the Information Team?"
Yesod nodded, seeming to approve of how he just decided to get straight to business and turned to give a tour.
"The Information Team is in charge of processing and archiving all the data of our company." Yesod explained as he put his hands behind his back. "Additionally, the Information Team analyzes the Abnormalities, profiles them, and devises solutions to issues they may cause based on the data compiled. In a way, we are comparable to a massive bibliotheca."
Stopping next to the workstations of a couple of clerks, they stared at him, but Yesod quickly coughed and they got back to work with only a brief nod.
"This vast library of data is the basis for finding 'solutions' to various problems encountered in Lobotomy Corporation's energy harvesting process and is built by every employee in the corporation." Yesod remarked as he continued walking. "From the footage provided by the Control Team to the interview logs provided by the Welfare Team, to the experiments we ourselves conduct to determine the consistency and safety of the solutions we propose. All of the invaluable information could be gathered thanks to long-term observations and numerous sacrifices made by the team and our efforts to ensure that the information is accurate."
Yesod turned to face him.
"A single bit of misinformation could lead to an uncontrollable disaster." He said with a stony expression. "I am sure you can understand the gravity of our work."
Alphonse closed his eyes and he breathed in.
A corpse wearing an ecstatic grin after blowing their brains out. Hell broken loose by an unaware monster.
"It's all you…all because of you…"
All hope abandoned. Human rationality bleeding into the gutter. Nothing but raw, unfiltered misery and desperation.
"You have. No idea." He breathed out, meeting Yesod's gaze with one of his own. "Of just how aware I am of the fact"
Yesod seemed to approve, nodding once.
"It's good to know you do not think lightly of this information." Yesod nodded. "Every sliver of it that you read contains the despair and desperation of our employees. Don't ever squander our efforts."
Alphonse nodded. He wasn't happy about the incident…but at least Yesod seemed to care more than Malkuth.
The door next to them opened and another person came out. Another Sephirah, but one looking like Yesod's polar opposite. About as tall as Alphonse, but lankier, groggy and with his eyes closed as he yawned and drew closer. He had long, messy green hair reaching all the way down mid-back and a cleft in his left eyebrow. His suit was a complete mess, with the band on his arm almost about to fall off, the top button of his shirt undone and his tie hanging loosely from his neck.
"Yessssssssod, do you have any spare paper?" The man almost slurred out the words as he started rubbing his forehead. "Our department could use some…"
He didn't even notice Alphonse's presence there while Yesod crossed his arms again and sighed in exasperation.
"Netzach, as per company policy, we are not supposed to trade resources between departments unless it is to handle a state of Second or Third Trumpet or cleanup of such." Yesod glared at Netzach, completely unamused. "It should be on the very first page of the Sephirah manual. If you are lacking in resources, file a report and send it to Angela."
"Sheesh, alright alright. Stop biting already, mister 'Viper'."
Netzach chuckled and opened his eyes, The whites of them were a little bit reddened. He blinked when he noticed him and Angela and then just turned around and walked out, lazily waving them goodbye.
Alphonse couldn't help but scratch at his chin.
"Is he, uh…alright?"
"Pay him no mind, that's just Netzach from the Safety Team." Yesod scoffed. "He's always inebriated, high as a kite or both."
"And he's always been like this?" Alphonse asked as he looked at the Information Team's Sephirah. That felt like a more worthwhile question than asking how a Sephirah could even get drunk or high, so he just chalked that up to the 'wonders' of modern technology and moved on.
"I believe he was different, before we joined the company," Yesod shook his head. "But if he wishes to drink himself to oblivion, that is none of my business. He will be replaced if it becomes a problem."
Alphonse wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, at least at first. A question came to mind shortly, though.
"Before you joined the company?" He said, crossing his arms, though a lot more loosely than Yesod was.
"Yes. I don't believe we were close back then, but I know things were different." Yesod nodded.
"Huh. That's…" Alphonse paused, unsure of how to phrase things.
"What is it?" Yesod asked, seeming to be losing his patience.
"Well, given what I got from Angela and all, I thought the Sephirah were all AI made by Lobotomy Corporation." Alphonse replied a bit nervously. "I didn't know there was a time before that."
Yesod made to reply, but then stopped himself. All of a sudden, he broke eye contact and started looking off to the side, with his mouth slightly open.
Alphonse turned to look at Angela. Her only answer was a nod, along signaling towards Yesod with her head.
"Yesod?" He asked testingly, getting a hand closer to him. "Are you okay?"
"It's…it's quite alright, manager." Yesod said, pulling his turtleneck up slightly as he took a step back. "We should leave it at that for now, I have work to finish up before the workday begins in earnest."
"If you say so…" He nodded. "Then I guess I'll just get out of your hair and see you around later."
Yesod returned the nod and moved away from them. Alphonse decided to go back the way he came and left the main room with Angela.
"There's a lot to the Sephirah you're not telling me, here." He remarked. He wasn't trying to sound accusatory, but failed on choice of words alone.
"There is, and that is for you to find out rather than for me to spoonfeed you." Angela retorted.
"Fine then, I guess that's just part of the big mystery I'll have to puzzle out myself, then." Alphonse sighed. "Don't even know why we have to go through all of these damn hoops…"
At the very least, it seemed he was going in the right direction.
Chapter 8: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.4 ~
Chapter Text
Another workday completed and another day with…little incident, all things considered. It got a little bit hairy at the end, but he managed to get all the agents to jump the very last of the clowns before things could get hairy. The E.G.O. gear was working quite well, all things considered, even if he was…distracted by the new Agents hired and assigned to the Information Team.
As soon as he finished the work, Angela trailed behind him as he walked into the halls, quietly watching him with a critical look.
"It is more than obvious that you are not prepared for this." She finally said once they were inside the elevator.
"Best rip the bandaid off now rather than later." Alphonse sighed, shaking his head. "Of course, I'm not going to do anything stupid, but…I need to see her."
"Be it on your head, then." Angela remarked with a sigh.
"Same as everything else, sweetie." He shot back sardonically as he threw her a look. "Big. Deal. Right?"
Angela chose not to dignify that with an answer and they both were all the better for it.
When they arrived at the door to the mess hall, he did not wait in front of it to try and calm himself. He just closed his eyes and breathed out as he-
Slammed face first into the door.
"Oh, that's unfortunate." Angela remarked with a flat tone. "I do think if you'd stopped where you were for a moment, the door would have opened after a while."
He nursed his face and sighed. Yep. She was taking it personally and so would he.
The door opened shortly after and he stepped into the room. This time, there were a lot less surprised employees than before. Most seemed to have gotten used to him coming in to eat with them and weren't making as much of a big deal as before. He waved over at Yum-Yum and Isabel as he went over to grab his tray and wait in line as they returned the gesture.
The pair had grown rather tenacious, as of late. They had a few close shaves, but they were managing to survive pretty well. Malkuth apparently was considering promoting one of them to Captain of the Control Team. He didn't know who it would be, especially with Malkuth's insane thought process…but if he had to bet on it, he'd say Yum-Yum. The man wouldn't admit to it, but he had some talent leading the charge when it was time to suppress Ordeals and Abnormalities. Careful, but not so much so that he wasn't able to act independently and make good decisions without anyone's input.
After grabbing his food, he approached the table where the pair had chosen to sit.
"What's good, fellas?" He asked as he finally sat down, opposite of the pair. "Where's the rest of Control?"
"Ugh, getting reamed by Malkuth for trying to protect the clerks." Isabel complained loudly, shaking her head as she did. "'The weak don't have a place in my Control Team', blegh." she stuck out her tongue. "I swear, that crazy hunk of metal's just unreasonable."
"Don't get too caught up on it. You know they only just did it to try and get on the manager's good side, right?" Yum-Yum sighed as he started eating.
"Ok, back the fuck up, what?" Alphonse said with a raised brow. "Elaborate on that."
"Well, the word that you're just kind of a soft bean man has been making the rounds, you know?" Isabel lightly punched his arm. "Shit happens, and the Abnormalities are pretty bad, but you are trying not to get us all killed, with all the warnings you're throwing around about some of them, yeah? Everyone wants to use any means to look good and cozy up to the man who is trying to keep them from dying."
"Or getting roofied by shrimp-men." Yum-Yum said as he turned to face him. "What's up with that by the way?"
"Fuck if I know!" Alphonse threw his arms in the air. "I saw the footage several times and all I can tell you is they took Archer somewhere after spiking his drink. Don't even know where or what for."
"I wanna say…organ harvesting?" Isabel mused as she held her fork up in the air. "That or…"
"Ugh, don't you even say it, I'll get queasy thinking about all the possibilities." Yum-Yum interrupted her with a dismissive wave.
Alphonse took a moment to breathe. The agents had taken the…presumed death of their companion somewhat lightly. Well, more than that, they in particular were the ones to take it best, compared to a lot of the staff. It was just the nature of the beast, having lived in the Backstreets; in a place with rampant crime, supernatural bullshit and all the worst that humanity had to offer, they had gotten mostly used to random deaths happening around them before even arriving at the corporation. Part of him wondered if he would have been like that, had he been in less fortunate circumstances.
He decided not to linger on the thought. Home was too far away in so many ways, it was best not to think of it. Instead, he decided to torture himself a different way by taking a moment to steady himself, then bringing up someone else.
"Hey," He spoke off-handedly. "What about the Information Team's agents? You two see any of them?"
"Well, I can see the newbies getting their own food right now." Yum-Yum said with a shrug.
"Newbies, says the man who hasn't even worked here for a full week." Alphonse joked with a shake of his head.
"Hey, the way this workplace is turning out to be, that much gives me seniority rights!" The agent retorted.
"Sure, sure, just be careful with your back and don't forget your meds, old timer." Isabel joked and Yum-Yum made disgruntled old man sounds. After a moment, she looked at Alphonse and added. "Want to call them over?"
"Might as well, yeah. I don't plan on being on friendly terms with literally everyone, but at least getting to know them a bit is a good idea."
"Figure out everyone's temperaments to get an idea of what works they're best at and all that, yeah?" Yum-Yum remarked as he started waving over to the serving line. "Keep up the good work, then."
Rather quickly, three sets of footsteps began approaching from behind, and the empty seats started to get filled in by the employees of the Information Team.
He knew them all, but the one who chose to sit beside him made him clench his teeth as the memories came unbidden. The pain, the cold floor, the deafening gunfire.
Anastasia, the woman who broke his ankle and whose life he'd taken with his own hands, sat beside him with an airy laugh. Now that he could take a look at her, she seemed like a rather normal twenty-something, compared to the unhinged look she had before; slightly tanned, with long, purple hair and eyes of the same color.
He couldn't hold eye contact for very long.
"My, I didn't think the manager would be calling for us." The woman said with a sing-song voice, quite contrasting with the grisly scene quietly playing back in his mind.
He sucked in a breath and tried to be casual.
"It's nothing too out of the ordinary, is it?" He asked with a shake of his head.
"It's completely out of the ordinary is what it is." Another of the employees of the Information Team said as he looked over at Alphonse, approaching from the side and moving around him and his teammate. "This may be a Wing, but I decidedly didn't expect the manager to be like this."
Arang had an absolute case of resting bitch face that was never going away, short purple hair of a lighter shade from the two ladies on the table. He was probably twenty-something, much like the majority of the people seated there.
Rather offhandedly, he wondered just why Isabel was the outlier and if there were any other employees around her age or, god forbid, younger than her. He wasn't comfortable with possibly sending people to their deaths as it stood.
"That's just the way the manager is. Take it or leave it, man." Yum-Yum remarked with a shrug.
"That was simply an observation, not a complaint." Arang said, simply beginning to eat.
He decided not to get into any heavy talk or continue to ask Yum-Yum and Isabel about the City. He just decided to remain mostly quiet and try to take in the atmosphere, unable to shake off the unease as Anastasia spoke up and made conversation with her seniors.
After a while, the Information Team's agents finished up and left the three of them alone.
"So what are your thoughts on Anastasia, manager?" Yum-Yum asked as he finished up his now cold soup. "Notice anything?"
"Not really. I've got no strong thoughts. I'm just really uncomfortable with how close she was getting to me." He said with a grimace.
Isabel spit out and coughed out the water she was drinking. Alphonse groaned and complained as he grabbed a napkin and started to clean his face as she continued to cough. Before he asked if she was okay, she spoke up first.
"Are you that dense or just stupid, bossman!?" She asked, completely flabbergasted. "Don't tell me you didn't even notice the way she was trying to wrap you around her finger!"
He stopped for a moment and thought about the things that happened for a moment. She was...brushing shoulders with him, every so often, offered to wipe his mouth, and actually, thinking on it, she was rather quick in plopping down in the seat right next to him, before the rest of her team got close enough to even consider what seat they could take.
It was obvious in fairness, but…
"Let's just say I was distracted." He said, and just before Isabel began going off on him, he lied, adding. "I've been getting some memories back."
"...not something pleasant, I'm guessing?" Yum-Yum asked as Isabel started to deflate at that.
The woman laughed, her eyes bulging out as her cackles reached a fever pitch. The blood dripping down her face hit the floor with nary a sound, mixing with that of the clerks she murdered-
"It's because of you, isn't it?"
Four shots slammed onto her, her anger not subsiding for even a second as she dropped to the floor and sank into the abyss of death.
Alphonse took a breath.
"To put it mildly."
Angela watched as the manager arrived at the desk, and he wordlessly greeted her with a lazy wave.
"How're we looking for time? Still a couple minutes before we start the workday, yeah?" He said as he pulled away his chair.
"That is correct." Angela answered. "Do you have any other evidently obvious questions that you could answer yourself if you looked at your workstation?"
"That's all for now. Thank you, sweetheart." He retorted while rolling his eyes and Angela's lips curled in distaste. The way he sarcastically used terms of endearment was getting under her skin more than she would have liked. At the very least though, today would wipe the smirk off his face.
He went over the facility and started looking over at everything, seeing the clerks and Agents preparing. The employees he'd started giving preferential treatment to were armed and protected in the best E.G.O. gear he had. It was not a bad decision, though, given that they were the best agents at his disposal. The rest of the agents were given some weapons and suits, though they didn't have both.
"Hey, what's going on at Information?" He asked.
She had muted the conversation, but it was simply James asking to be allowed to work despite his high mental corruption and discussing the matter with Yesod.
"Simply some pre-work chatter, nothing you need concern yourself with, manager." She said as she looked at him blankly. He just sighed and kept looking around.
And now it was a matter of seeing how he would handle things now. Part of her hoped James waited until the Ordeals appeared, to inflict as much damage as possible.
"Time to get to work." The manager finally spoke up in a mock-gruff voice before clearing his throat. "Let's begin the workday."
Thus it all began, all Agents began milling and going about their duties as the manager spoke up.
"Attention, Information Team, this is your manager speaking." He began as he looked over the containment chambers, "The newest Abnormality is the Scorched Girl, shorthand Matchstick. She prefers Insight work; keep an eye on her and make sure to clean up all the ashes while keeping a safe distance from her. She is dangerous but entirely within your ability to manage. In case of a breach, she will mark an employee and begin to approach them, this includes agents and clerks. I repeat, the Scorched Girl may target agents and clerks. If you are marked, abandon your workstation and follow my instructions."
It was quaint, in a way. How he tried to make the workplace safer for every employee. Of course he could try, and he might even succeed, given they were in the early days, but the facility was not built to be kind.
"Manager, it is outside regulations for you to have control over our clerical staff." Yesod chided the manager over a private channel. For his part, the manager switched over to transmit his response to the Sephirah.
"Yesod, please don't fight me on this." He said with audible annoyance. "I need to be able to direct the affected employees properly in this case, they need to run away from Matchstick in order to allow agents to suppress her. I can't have them staying in place while she goes up to them and explodes." He muted the microphone to sigh then added, "Look, it's only if she breaches and only until she is dealt with. It's a temporary transfer of authority, is that agreeable?"
Yesod didn't reply immediately, instead taking some time before speaking.
"I will agree to this request for the time being, if only to avoid confusing the clerks with conflicting orders, but I will need a thorough conversation with you about our rules and regulations." The Sephirah said with a clipped tone. "If you have any other ideas of the sort, I would suggest thinking of them and bringing it up during meetings rather than springing them up on us during the workday."
The manager hummed and said. "Alright. Let's talk about it after work."
After a brief pause he then began to assign agents to work on the Abnormalities. Once done he leaned back.
"I think it's a sure thing now." He murmured out loud. "Yesod's got a stick up his ass, but…he's not as bad as Malkuth."
"All of the Sephirah are unstable, but among them Malkuth is one of the worst off." Angela couldn't help but speak her mind as she closed her eyes. She didn't want to help him more than she needed, but she did share his thoughts on how difficult she was.
The manager seemed surprised by her input, then sighed.
"I see."
His expression seemed to tighten as he thought about something. Whatever it was, Angela didn't care too much about it.
The workday proceeded rather normally. James, it seemed, decided to just lull everyone into a false sense of security by not doing anything for most of the day, even when the Ordeals appeared and a couple of his co-workers died.
Unfortunately, those very same losses started to agitate the manager, and he immediately honed in on the Information Team when he saw an Abnormality outside of containment.
"What the fuck happened with the alarm!?" He screeched, then immediately turned on the intercom. "Information Team, the Murderer is loose! Agents, move to suppress! Use hit and run tactics! Yum-Yum, Isabel! Head down to support the Information Team!"
"Hey! Manager, you can't poach my-!"
"Shut up, Malkuth! I don't wanna hear it!" He cut the Sephirah off after changing to private comms, then switching to the Control Team's agents' frequency. "Ignore Malkuth, get down there now. The rest of you hold down the fort."
"What's happening, boss?" Yum-Yum asked even as he and Isabel followed the instructions and got on an elevator.
"I don't know, alarm's busted for some reason. The team isn't armed well enough to suppress without losses, so you need-"
At that moment, he saw as the door to the Scorched Girl's containment unit opened up.
"Shit! Matchstick's breached! Isabel, you go after her! I need to call Information!" The manager switched frequencies. "Yesod, all your Abnormalities are loose! What the fuck is going on!?"
He only received silence for a few moments.
"..This is a clerk's doing, manager." Yesod replied, with a clipped tone. "I will patch you through to the one marked by the Scorched Girl. Please handle the suppression while I deal with things on my end."
With the pressure on, the Manager took a deep breath and focused his attention squarely on the Information Department and on the employee marked by the Scorched Girl, "Hey, what's your name?"
"I-I'm employee Delta34, sir!" The clerk replied nervously,
"Drop everything, and head to the right hand exit." the Manager said, very clearly strained as he tried to keep his composure when he saw the Forsaken Murderer slam its head on a clerk and start to reduce them into a red stain on the ground. "And I didn't ask for your employee designation, what's your name, kid?"
"B-Billy, sir." The clerk finally replied.
"Billy, listen to me, I need you to hang on and keep moving forward. Don't run, powerwalk." The manager said. "Conserve your energy. I need you to go in circles around the facility. The longer you can keep it up, the better. Your job right now is to keep Matchstick busy for as long as possible until the agents are freed up and can catch up with you, got it?"
Much to Angela's disgust, the manager kept reassuring the clerk, not knowing how useless it was to invest so much energy on someone even more replaceable than his agents. When Yum-Yum and Isabel arrived, he focused on them again, slightly too slow with his orders to stop Alex from having his torso crushed against a wall.
Shots rang out shortly after that, and the manager's attention was split for a moment as he saw the clerks of the Information Team open fire on James. He tore his eyes from the execution as he started hearing Delta34's screams.
"Manager! The door won't open! I'm locked in here!" He screeched. "Manager, what do I do!?"
"Calm down, Billy! Help is already on the way! Keep calm!" The manager said, not even managing as much on his own as he saw Arang die. "Try the door again, use the keypad."
"It's not working!" Delta34 said, growing more and more desperate.
The Scorched Girl entered the room, weeping as she drew closer. The clerk reached for his gun, only to realize he left it in his work cell. As the Abnormality reached the halfway point of the hallway, it stopped, preparing to explode. That was the moment when Isabel finally arrived at the corridor.
The look of dismay on the manager's face was like no other. He knew what was going to happen, as it did last time. Isabel would not reach the Scorched Girl in time before it exploded. Would he try to stop her and sacrifice the clerk, or would he sacrifice Isabel in an attempt to save him, only to have both of them die?
Slowly, she waited for his answer. Hundredth of a second per hundredth of a second.
The decision was taken out of his hands. Angela saw as Isabel slowly, painfully raised her arm and let go of One Sin's E.G.O. Weapon. She saw as it flew in a wide arc, spinning around several times until it landed on the Scorched Girl's head with a loud ringing noise.
"What?" Angela remarked even as the manager got off his chair and cheered with his hands up in the air.
The Scorched Girl nursed its head and dropped on the floor, crying, before Isabel grabbed the cross-shaped weapon and kept beating on the Abnormality to fully suppress it.
On the other end, the Forsaken Murderer's metallic head receded into itself as the Abnormality dropped to the ground, defeated.
"Take the Abnormalities back to their containment units, good job, everyone." The manager said as he breathed a sigh of relief and then looked at her. "How many losses was that, Angela?"
"Five clerks and two agents." She answered curtly.
The manager slumped forward and put his arms over the table, resting his head on them.
"Goddamn it. That's really bad…" He let out a shaky breath, "It could have been much worse, but…that's not much of a silver lining."
Angela refrained from commenting on his handling of the situation. She didn't want to offer even a smidge of satisfaction to him in admitting that it was…adequate.
Because she knew it wouldn't be enough for the future.
Chapter 9: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.5 ~
Chapter Text
Although Alphonse had every intention of heading down to the Information Team upon finishing the workday, Angela stopped him and refused to let him go until after the cleanup was done and the employees left. Annoyed though he was, he knew it was useless to argue against her after she literally got in the way of the door.
The corridors where the agents fought off the Murderer had dents all over. There were some blemishes on the floor where…
He let out a heavy sigh, deciding against trying to imagine the situation, he just picked up the pace along with Angela. As he entered the room, he saw Yesod talking with another Sephirah. She was around Malkuth's height with blue eyes and long brown hair with a cowlick sticking up and a couple of hair clips on one of her bangs. Her armband and tie were brown, with the letter H on it.
"But…Yesod, so many people died!" The Sephiah who he could only assume was Hod said as she flinched and backed away from Yesod. "Maybe you should say something! Like, at least some half-hearted commemorative speech? I mean, shouldn't we try to make everyone in our departments feel at ease?"
"Perhaps your objectives in the company are different from mine, then." Yesod retorted harshly, his arms crossed. "I see no point in being overly sentimental. I do not care about being respected by my employees or letting their opinions influence my decisions. You should be careful not to pay too much attention to them unless you want them to steer you away from what’s truly important."
"I'm not-" The other Sephirah said and took a deep breath. "I guess I can't really tell you what to do, can I? I'm not sure what's the right thing to do anyways, so-"
She cut herself off as she noticed him and Angela drawing closer.
"O-oh, manager, do you have business with Yesod?" She asked.
"I do, but I can wait a little longer." He said after taking a breath. "Hod, right?"
"Um, yes sir." Hod snapped to attention, but then immediately deflated. "Um, don't worry about it. I was just about done, actually. I just wanted to check in here after the incident."
"And you've done so. I presume you will be returning to your work, now?" Yesod said flatly.
"Yes, I'll see you later, Yesod." Hod got the hint and nodded, timidly waving everyone goodbye before leaving.
Yesod let out a huff when Hod left and shook his head.
"Well, manager? What are you here for?" Yesod asked.
"Checking in, to start with." Alphonse sighed. "How's the team's morale?"
"Abysmal, though you could have confirmed as much had you gone to ask them rather than waste time with me." Yesod chided him in a way that reminded him a bit much of the silent AI at his side, but he just rolled his eyes.
"No shit, I guess." He said. "What even happened back there, Yesod? You said a clerk did it?"
"Alpha39." Yesod said with a nod, turning to look over at one of the work cells. Presumably the one the clerk in question worked at, going by the bullet marks on the wall. "He unlocked the containment units and turned off the alarms. I suppose I should be thankful that you noticed their escape early. The entire department could have fallen if not for your quick reaction."
"It still did a lot of damage. More than I'm comfortable with." Alphonse noted as he crossed his arms. "Do we have a motive for this sudden incident or…"
Yesod sighed, turning back to face him again.
"Rather high mental corruption, is all." The Sephirah said as he shook his head. "Someone should have covered his shift, but it's too late for that now."
He'd heard the term enough times, mental corruption being…either an euphemism or just straight up a company mandated way to refer to the mental stress that came from working in the hellhole they were in. He didn't know which it was, but the definition remained the same.
"Yeah. You 'took care of it' while I had the employees suppress the Abnormalities, right?" Alphonse nodded, swaying slightly to one side. "I don't like it, but all we can do right now is just…pick up the pieces, right?"
"Yes, picking up the pieces and making sure everyone follows our regulations without fail, so as to prevent further incidents." Yesod added. "Which I suppose we should talk about now."
"Right, about that, Yesod…" Alphonse sighed as he uncrossed his arms. "I actually wanted to apologize to you, for just suddenly springing the whole thing about the clerks marked by the Scorched Girl on you after we'd already started the workday."
Yesod furrowed an eyebrow at the statement, taking one hand out from between his arms, he spun it in a circle and signaled him to keep talking.
"Truth is, I've had nothing but bad interactions with Malkuth since I started working here. I kind of assumed all the Sephirah were like her." Alphonse explained, "So I was acting as if I was dealing with her. An 'ask for forgiveness rather than permission' mentality."
Not that he'd ask for forgiveness when it came to her, but that was the gist of it.
"That was really unfair of me, so I have to come out and say I'm sorry about that, Yesod. I'll talk things through from now on."
Yesod didn't seem quite sure how he was feeling, given how he shuffled about for a moment, but the man eventually nodded.
"Apology accepted. It may not have been the right thing, but ultimately you had your reasons." He replied. "Still, in regards to the idea of transferring authority over the clerks in emergency situations, I can see the merits in that, given your handling of today's emergency, but there are also negatives to it, given it would split your attention."
"Understandable." Alphonse gave a nod. "Maybe we can compromise? I can give you instructions for any such situations before the workday starts and you can direct the employees in question based on them, with the specifics up to you. How does that sound?"
"That sounds agreeable. I would like to formalize it and put it to writing, so that we can both agree on our roles and avoid conflicting orders." Yesod replied with a faint smile.
Alphonse nodded, and then scratched his chin. "We can find a good time for it later, that said…about today’s incident, did you figure out what happened with the door in the corridor? We can't have it failing on us any more."
"No, as a matter of fact, it's almost as if nothing was wrong in the first place." Yesod said with a frown. "We had our mechanics completely tear down the door, top to bottom, and there were no mechanical or electric failures. The door simply failed to work at the most inopportune moment."
"Oh golly…" He ground out and rubbed his eyes. "What about other forms of tampering?"
"They would have left easily traceable evidence." Yesod said with a shake of his head. "And we found no such thing."
"So it's just a thing that randomly happens?" Alphonse grouched as he slumped. "What is up with that? Is this facility cursed or what?"
"We may be working with things beyond mortal ken, but that is awfully unscientific." Yesod remarked.
Maybe so, but…what else do you call that?
Angela followed the manager as he moved through the facility's halls, finding the two agents he favored so much rather quickly. He greeted them with a wave and they returned the gesture.
"Keeping busy, boss?" Isabel asked, nodding at him.
"Somewhat. Also put it there, sister." The manager said with a tired smile as he raised his hand for a high-five. "I clapped when I saw what you did with Matchstick."
The agent laughed and returned the gesture, their hands coming together and clapping.
"I'm still kind of amazed it worked." Yum-Yum remarked, and indeed, Angela found herself agreeing with him.
"Look man," The manager chuckled. "If it's stupid and it works? Then it's not stupid."
Angela held back on her retort. No, if it's stupid and it works, then it is still stupid and it worked once.
"How's things at Information, by the way?" Isabel asked. "I mean, obviously not great, but we didn't see them at lunch."
"Not great is putting it mildly. I mean, I'm not taking a census, but I know that mess is going to be causing us a lot of trouble." The manager said as he took a breath. "Shit morale, new, untrained hires needing to fill in the empty seats…it's going to be a mess to resolve it and it was all apparently because a clerk snapped."
That was, of course, an oversimplification, but the manager was still unaware of the specifics of James and Yesod's relationship in the first place, so it wasn't as though she could expect a competently adequate explanation out of him.
"Shit, really?" Yum-Yum said after sucking in a breath through his teeth. "Nest dweller or…?"
"Didn't ask, but does it make a difference if he's from the Nest or the Backstreets?" The manager asked, "This place is fucked one way or the other. No wonder people are snapping under the pressure."
That, it seemed, was her cue to finally step in.
"Manager, I would advise you to keep any comments of the sort," Angela glared at him, drawing closer, "Impacting the employees' performance with such statements will not be acceptable."
Isabel stepped forward and raised her hands as if trying not to seem threatening.
"Oh, it's no problem…miss?" She said, and Angela couldn't help but notice the immediate increase in her discomfort, already knowing where it stemmed from. "Miss Angela. I mean, it's pretty evident that the corporation is a grim place, the bo- I mean, what the manager is saying is already what most employees think."
Though she wasn't looking at him, Angela knew Yum-Yum was making shushing gestures at the other agent all throughout, but to no avail. When Isabel was done talking, she just glared at him and the man just sighed.
"The manager's words won't negatively affect our performance…ma'am." He eventually said after being browbeaten him into compliance.
"That is not for either of you to decide." Angela retorted.
Their opinions did not matter in the least. In the end, both of them would die to some inane, idiotic accident or lose their minds in this place. She could even say what they would in their death throes before it happened. She had seen it over and over again, and no matter how many small variations there were, it was all roughly the same droll thing.
The manager had the gall to huff while right beside her, and Angela had to turn and look at him.
"And how they take it is for you to decide?" He shot back at her. "You aren't them, and I sure don't see them losing their shit over my remarks."
She narrowed her eyes. The audacity of the man in being so confident while being so wrong made her sick. And he couldn't help but keep opening his mouth and spilling words like sewage.
"I'm not letting you muscle in on my conversations," He said as he leaned over slightly, "If you want to stop us from shooting the shit, you're going to have to ground me and send me back to my room, mom."
Angela stopped.
The absolute non-sequitur just dug into her like a nail, it was beyond irksome and downright insane.
"Excuse me, something seems to have come up elsewhere that needs my immediate attention."
Angela walked away, her heels clacking as she moved with a hurried step. She could not handle that cretin at the moment. She would have to wait a few hours for the feeling to subside, now.
Still, even as she left him alone, she was fully aware of what was going on in that place and she would need to listen in, so as to take action if he spoke too much. If he gave the employees too much information, it didn't matter if he saw them as friends, family or lovers, she would have to assign them to duties that they would not survive.
"Holy fuck, what the hell kinda relationship do you two have going on?" Yum-Yum remarked a while after she'd left, staring at the manager.
"Mutual abject loathing, I think." The manager said, and despite everything, the remark stung.
"I guess, but it's kinda useless to get so worked up over it, boss." Isabel said with a hum. "I mean, after all, it's only a machine…"
Angela took a breath, her frown deepening as she closed her eyes.
"It's only a machine."
She remembered his words as if he were still saying them to her on that very moment. The moment of her 'birth'. First, she existed; then she knew. 'Her' memories were ingrained in her brain, etched in masterful strokes within the circuitry which defined her. She wasn't there, and yet she knew, she saw, she remembered…
She remembered Ayin…he was a person with a warm smile.
She heard the voices outside of the room where she awaited him.
"But Ayin, surely you know…" Benjamin spoke from beyond the door. "Did you put in all that work just for a simple vending machine that dispenses soda at the press of a button?"
The silence that followed was deafening. As were Ayin's words
"Maybe I did after all."
His eyes were full of nothing but scorn as she was christened. The machine that would lead them out of the pits of hell, Angelos.
Angela.
"What did I do wrong?" She asked her friend. The one and only person he found herself able to speak to.
Benjamin put a hand over hers, his expression faltering, full of sorrow.
"Please understand, Angela." He comforted her, "He's not yet ready, that's all."
A machine must behave as a machine.
You'll never be her.
You're just a machine.
Angela's hands were tightly balled close. A machine must behave as a machine. His words echoed in her head, time and time again
"Fuck is that supposed to mean?" The manager said, snapping her out of her thoughts. It was ridiculous to see him ask that question.
"I mean…y'know…" Isabel answered, rolling a hand around in the air then slowly letting it fall as she sighed. "Oh, right. Amnesiac. You don't know about the AI Ethics Amendment."
"Yeah, you mind explaining that?" He said as he crossed his arms.
Yum-Yum scratched the back of his head and looked at Isabel. "You were in an examinee town, right? You know more about it than I do, probably."
"Beyond some quotes, not really." Isabel sighed and looked at the manager. "I don't think anyone remembers the specifics anymore, but a long time ago, there were a bunch of inhumans and they got kicked out of the City and left to fend for themselves on the Outskirts."
She had heard that story, though not in great detail.
"And in that whole thing, the AI Ethics Amendment got pushed forward, with one of the main rulings of it being that no machines can be made to resemble humans, including prosthetics and replacement bodies." Isabel said, crossing her arms. "Obviously, human-like machines are out of the question. I was really surprised by Angela existing, but I guess that's part of the benefits of being a Wing, being able to have something like it."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Yum-Yum remarked. "I mean, if the Sephirah got passed off as full-body prosthetics, and then all the AI parts got built and loaded up while inside the facility, I could see it happening. It'd be risky, but it might just work. But Angela? No way, Jose. The way it looks, it'd cross too many lines to pass inspection. The Head would catch that shit immediately.
Indeed. Ayin went through many pains to create her and many more in trying to keep her existence secret. Being 'born' was a sin the City would not suffer, if it knew.
"Alright, I get that...but what's with all this 'it' talk?"
Angela blinked.
"What do you mean?" Isabel asked, just as confused as Angela was.
"Why are you calling Angela an 'it'?" The manager asked again, and he was actually growing quite irate at the pair. "She's clearly got emotions and sapience and isn't just a pretty looking chatbot, so what's with you two talking about her like she's some kind of toaster?"
Angela took deep breaths as she listened to his words intently. Even with his circumstances being what they were, no iteration of X had ever been so defensive about the topic.
"That's not how it works." Yum-Yum answered. "The Head has already been through a lengthy discussion about the whole ethics of it. Just because a machine has feelings doesn't make it human."
"'Even if a machine carries emotions and intelligence and is nearly identical to a human in every aspect, it is still a machine by birth.'" Isabel quoted. "'Machines should always be below humans, therefore, it is now forbidden to create sapient machines, as they can disrupt the proper judgment of societal values.' That's what the AI Ethics Amendment says."
"And what the fuck do you care what the Head says?" The manager angrily shot back. "They're just another corporation, aren't they? What, do they say they have your best interests in mind? Are you going to take their word for it? Why should you trust them?"
The pair were stunned speechless, and he immediately continued.
"Angela obviously has her own thoughts and emotions, so where do you get off talking about her like that?" The manager crossed his arms. "She's as much of a person as both of you fuckers."
"Woah, woah, woah, woah! Where is this coming from!?" Yum-Yum started stepping back from the manager. "I thought you two were on bad terms!"
Angela couldn't find the words. Her chest seized up. The sheer emotion he was displaying far eclipsed anything she'd seen. No, it wasn't so much that, but instead that she was the subject of it in the first place. More ever before, she was squarely in his thoughts even when she wasn't with him.
She's as much of a person as both of you.
And then…his next words arrived.
"The absolute fucking worst," He said with disdain. "But that's exactly why I'm getting this pissed. If she were just playing back overly sassy responses, I would just let it peter off and die, but she's not."
"S-so-" Isabel stumbled with her words as the manager spoke up again.
"It's because I see her as a person that I can say that I hate her as much as I do right now."
Angela began to lose control of the synthetic muscles in her face. She couldn't know what expression she was making in those moments. They twisted beyond any recognizable sensation she could reliably identify.
To have his eyes firmly set upon her. To speak of her as a fellow person, even if she wasn't human. To loathe him and be loathed in turn…it all elicited reactions that she wasn't even fully sure how to deal with.
Those feelings he was expressing, that passion, that hate…it would endure beyond the droll repetitions they would experience in the cage he trapped them both in…It felt like a dream come true, it felt like a horrid nightmare she'd just woken up to.
Angela didn't notice the way her lips turned. Nor did she recognize what expression she was making. She had practiced and put on a number of them through the countless years she was forced to endure, and she knew what each of them felt like when she put them on.
Not once in her life had she ever put on a smile twisted with as much pain as she was now. Had she looked in a mirror, she would not have been able to comprehend, let alone recognize it as such.
Chapter 10: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.6 ~
Chapter Text
Starting the day, Alphonse groaned as he got up from bed and started what he'd made his daily routine. Light exercise and listening to a bit of music on the gramophone in his room before taking a shower, and brushing his teeth.
He wasn't really the type to do morning stretches before, but he had very little in the way of stimuli, so he was going to make for himself whatever he could take. A lot of watching the "bad screens" and having no "good screens" like his phone and such certainly didn't help the feeling, either, doubly so with the sudden cutoff from the kind of brainless entertainment he engaged with before.
As for listening to the music? It kinda sucked. So far he'd only heard orchestral music he didn't recognize; nothing against it, it was good, but it wasn't what he usually engaged with, much less while doing anything physical. What really stank was the fact that the LPs for the gramophone were all unmarked, records and sleeves alike, so he had to mark them himself with page shreds and tape.
Whoever the manager was supposed to be, he'd be throttling for the last bit.
Once done, he moved onto the office, greeting Angela and moving to his seat. The woman didn't reply, simply nodding and looking at him with a deeply set frown.
"Righty-ho, time 'till workday has to start… about ten minutes or so." He said as he looked at the screen and browsed around, deciding not to address whatever had Angela so displeased, because he knew it was probably just his existence in her general area. "No pending meetings with the Sephirah, all looking as good as can be right now, so let's see what we got from Extraction…"
He said as much, but started by looking the facility over, Yum-Yum had, in the end, gotten that Captain position and was now rocking a new EGO suit and weapon, both originating from Matchstick. On a much somber note, though, Information was still fucked from yesterday's mess. He had yet to see Anastasia in person, but she was obviously not doing well, as her posture from what he could see in the cameras showed as much. As for Isabel, she was doing stretches down in the Information Team's Department while waiting for the workday to start. He asked Yesod for some help in trying to get the purple haired girl to fill in while the new hires got caught up to speed, and while Malkuth had fought against it, Yesod slapped her with quotes straight from the Sephirah manual and forced her to relent because Alphonse absolutely had the authority to make that call.
Yeah, Yesod was a stick in the mud, but they were cool, and that counted for more than the man knew.
Finally his eyes went to the containment unit of the newest Abnormality. It immediately grossed him out so bad he wanted to look away.
O-01-15 was…like a baby. A green, sludge-like baby with a belly so fat and large that it reached all the way down to the floor, where it formed a puddle. But the more concerning feature was the massive mouth cutting across its stomach, with sharp incisors clearly visible.
Switching on private comms, he spoke up.
"Yesod, do you have any preliminary information on the new Abnormality?"
"Not as of yet, the mental corruption levels of our surviving clerks were high enough that their shifts had to be covered by new hires." Yesod replied. "And none of them want to work with it. We will take the necessary corrective measures after the workday."
"Hold off on that last part, Yesod. This Abnormality may be bad news." Alphonse replied with a grimace, he was just going off of vibes, but still, "Cut them some slack if I'm right. If I'm not and this thing is just gross but harmless… well then go off, king."
"...strange turn of phrase aside, our regulations ought to be ironclad." Yesod replied then sighed. "But we can discuss more later. The workday will be starting soon."
"Yeah. Anyways, you know the drill if Matchstick escapes. As for the rest, keep the employees safe, Yesod." Alphonse replied, "Catch you later."
After a brief grunt from Yesod acknowledging the goodbye, he cut the transmission and contacted Isabel instead.
"How're we looking, Isabel?" He asked.
"Lock 'n loaded, bossman. Another day, another Ahn to my name." She replied. "How are things looking?"
"Grim, but I trust you." He said, and Isabel just seemed to stop breathing for a moment. "Just be careful with the newest Abnormality and we should be able to get through this day with little incident."
"Yeah, I hear you." Isabel said, taking a deep breath. "Over and out, boss."
He bid her goodbye and cut the transmission, taking a breath and leaning back on his chair. He was still kinda pissed at the pair and they definitely knew it, but he wasn't about to let that stop him on the job. He was hardly a professional, but he felt like he needed to have some professionalism when lives were at stake.
To separate his feelings from the job, as much as he could…he wasn't able to do it with the really big things such as yesterday's incident but their little…argument about Angela's personhood was small by comparison.
He got rather heated over that. Part of it was his strong thoughts on the fact that they…kind of skimmed over the whole thing about the non-humans and that they were apparently living in a fucking ethnostate, but he'd actually rather surprised himself at how he lashed out at them for talking about Angela like that.
Especially when they had gotten as goddamn catty as they were with each other. She didn't like him, he didn't like her. They didn't have a whit of respect for the other either.
But…even then, he felt like she didn't deserve to just get talked down to in that way. 'Machines should always be below humans'? Well, at face value, that was self-evident. People should give more importance to a human life than to a machine, but where was the line between machine and something beyond one? Wherever it was, Angela was surely past it, even if the Head decided to be anal about it. No, especially if the Head decided to be anal about it.
She was a person. A godawful, demeaning person who he'd wholeheartedly call a rancid bitch. Not an object.
He glanced slightly in her direction, but didn't say anything or even try to speak up. The workday was starting up soon anyways, so it was best to keep his thoughts to himself.
He wished things were different, but he just didn't see that happening.
"Time to get to work." He gruffly said, making the reference absolutely no one would get and bracing himself. "Let's begin the workday."
He began in a way that was similar to how he always did, but slightly different. Normally, he'd brief the new agents of each department with a general announcement on how to handle the Abnormalities he knew of, but given the team was almost entirely replaced, he instead took a one on one approach.
"S-so I just have to sweep the floor?" Brook, one of the newbies, asked.
"Essentially? Yes." Alphonse said with a nod. "Insight work is all about improving the living conditions of the Abnormalities, to make sure anything in the containment unit doesn't unnecessarily aggravate them and make them harder to work with. More involved insight work will have you messing around with the thermostat, analyzing air quality, figuring out the right amount of light in the room, figuring out if background noise helps soothe or anger them…the whole package. But we're just starting you off, so we'll take it easy; you should just handle the ashes in Matchstick's unit. Keep an eye on her, see how she reacts and back off if the reaction is bad. Make sense?"
"Yeah, I think so…" the agent said and took a deep breath. "Okay boss, thanks."
"No problem." He said as he glanced aside to keep track of the current energy and the status of the Qliphoth Deterrence. "If you have any more questions, ask Isabel."
With that he cut the transmission and started a new one, "Alright, Velasquez, I'm gonna need you to-"
"Holy shit, that's the first time someone has pronounced my name right." The agent cut him off before he stumbled over his own words like a headless chicken. "I mean- Yes, boss! Whatever you need, boss!"
Alphonse chuckled briefly. "Don't sweat it. We can talk about it later, alright? Anyways, I'm sending you to work with the Murderer. Now, I know the name doesn't inspire confidence, but it's a lot simpler than one would think."
And so on and so forth. Starting with that and guiding the newbies around.
As for the new Abnormality…
"Boss, I'm really not liking this thing." Isabel said as she left the containment unit and made her way to the restrooms. "I've mucked around in worse, but the slime is just…eugh."
"I'll see if I can't get you some latex gloves from here on out, if it helps any." Alphonse remarked with a shake of his head, "That aside, first impressions?"
"It's a gross-ass, creepy baby." Isabel shot back. "It's not doing anything, but I can't imagine it'll be pretty if it starts crying like one."
"Agreed, but right now, all we can do is-"
The sound assaulted his hearing instantly and he screamed as he plugged his ears.
"Fucking-!" Isabel yelled as she and everyone in the Information Team also plugged their ears, the cries of the Abnormality echoing loudly, in every corner of the department. "Fuck, I'm gonna have to shut that thing up."
Alphonse all but growled, the baby's cries grated on him so badly he idly thought that stabbing his eardrums would be less annoying, and even if he didn't really mean it, he felt like if it went for long enough he could end up seriously considering it.
Only a scant few moments later, he saw Anastasia clutching at her head before she let out a furious scream.
"I'm killing that little bastard!" She said over comms as she began heading for the offending Abnormality's containment unit.
"Go kick its ass." He ground out and plugged his ears harder.
He shouldn't have budged and allowed the agent to do as she pleased. But then again, the ball had already started rolling downhill.
The second she entered the containment unit, he saw as the Abnormality's mouth opened wide and a large, toothed tongue lashed out towards Anastasia, running her through before dragging her into the maw.
He stood up, looking in horror as the baby chewed on the agent and devoured her alive. Her death throes were incoherent screams of absolute agony.
"Oh, thank fuck, that thing finally shut up." Isabel let out a sigh of relief. "What'd you do, boss?"
He couldn't answer, frozen in place as Anastasia finally stopped screaming and the disgusting monster licked its teeth, burping and giggling for a moment.
"Boss?" Isabel asked.
"Don't…don't go into the room when it starts crying." He muttered back at her.
"Boss? What do y-?"
"Don't do it!" He snapped and Isabel shut up.
He sat back down, letting out a shuddering breath. It was one of the most horrifying things he had seen since he'd joined, even abstracted as it was. And now, Anastasia was…
He wanted to talk with her more. Why? To say what? 'Sorry I killed you in another loop?' What the fuck did he even want, really? It didn't matter anymore, the chance got snatched from his hands before he could take it.
He had to move on.
Unfortunately, even though he said that to himself…he was all talk.
Angela restrained herself and took a breath.
She didn’t have any strong feelings towards the Abnormalities. Pity, perhaps, if she had to give an answer. They were her fellow inmates, after a fashion, and they did not grate on her nearly as badly as the Sephirah or the employees.
Yes, they did kill scores of the latter, but they were only following their instincts and ingrained fixations.
But there were a few exceptions.
As the Nameless Fetus screamed for the second time of the day, she saw the manager covering his ears and biting down, trying not to scream. She had enough restraint not to even try doing the same. Looking through the cameras of the containment unit, she couldn't help but be filled with a sense of disgust. She wasn't able to vomit and had seen things that many others would consider magnitudes worse in terms of grossness, yet the Abnormality never failed to inspire some incomprehensible anger and revulsion inside her.
The alarm soon blared along with the cries as the Scorched Girl left her containment unit, spurred on by the other Abnormality.
"Oh, that fuckin'-" The man snarled like an animal. "ISABEL, KILL MATCHSTICK!"
He was well and truly losing his patience, limited as it already was, and so were all the employees in the Department. Things were getting out of hand before the Ordeals even arrived.
The agent started savagely beating on the Abnormality as it left the room, but as she had brought it to its knees, Isabel shook her head and growled.
"I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT!" She yelled, trying to carry her voice over the crying of the Nameless Fetus. She kicked the Scorched Girl in the head and then started moving away without fully suppressing it.
"Isabel get back-!" The manager yelled at her but she cut him off.
"Yeah, no! I'm not doing that shit until that fetal fuck shuts up!" The agent shot back as she ran towards the containment unit of the crying Abnormality.
"DON'T GO INTO THAT FUCKING ROOM!" He started screaming himself hoarse.
"IF YOU WON'T SEND SOMEONE TO SHUT THAT THING UP I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" The agent screamed right back at him and while the two screamed at each other, the Scorched Girl recovered enough to continue moving towards her target with staggered steps.
The second she opened the door and got impaled, he sat down and started hitting the desk.
"WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU!? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL YUM-YUM NOW!?"
She held back on the sarcastic comments. She wanted to say them, but she would much rather not aggravate him than spite him. It was already grating enough to listen to the crying of the Abnormality, she didn't want him to direct that anger of his towards herself if she could help it.
The Scorched Girl soon found her mark and exploded. The manager allowed his head to fall and he let out a shuddering, high-pitched laugh, devoid of mirth.
"Manager-" Yesod spoke up
"WHAT?!" Alphonse snapped at him hard enough that he was clearly hurting his throat.
He wasn't seeing it, but Yesod actually recoiled. Usually he'd be snippy to a reply like that, but between his entire department starting to fall to a single Abnormality, the fact that said Abnormality was making the most annoying sounds whenever it went active, and the sheer intensity of the Manager's response, he actually seemed to be on the backfoot.
"Based on what we've seen, we have assigned the preliminary risk level of HE to the Abnormality." The Sephirah answered curtly, defaulting to trying to follow protocol rather than step out of line.
"Fuck do you mean this is a HE?!" The manager retorted. "This is way too much of a fucking jump! This isn't even close to the shit we have here!"
"Further review is pending, with a possible revision to elevate it to WAW." Yesod answered, taking a deep breath. "This is-"
The cries resumed in full force and the Manager screamed. "SOMEBODY FUCKING SHUT THAT THING UP!
Angela was nearing her wit's end. She considered the situation as she took a deep breath and found it completely unsalvageable. The second he chose that Abnormality, they were finished.
She hadn't brought up the roulette to spare herself an argument, but it seemed she was going to get one regardless. She only had two options, and for either of them, she needed the TT2 Protocol. The question was…which would be better? She needed to at least have some semblance of progress, now that the manager had gone through those changes, but if she did…
As the sound of the Abnormality's cries and the manager's screams assaulted her ears, she gained the necessary authorization. She supposed she would end up being confronted on the matter 'sooner' rather than later. Human memory was not so faulty that she could expect him to forget the facts and spare her the incoming fight if she postponed it.
As she activated the TT2 Protocol, her last thought was that she hoped she never had to deal with both whining screams at the same time ever again.
Alphonse blinked as he put down his foot on the floor. Finding himself within his office as ever, but as if he was moving towards his desk.
There was a deep silence as he looked around for a moment then just saw Angela staring at him for a couple seconds before she moved past him.
"What the fuck?" He said, with some anger bleeding through.
"You have failed to properly manage the Abnormality, therefore, it's best if we start over." Angela answered, taking her usual place before looking at him in disinterest.
He almost snapped at her for the comment, but he just felt more disoriented than anything. Wasn't he supposed to be seated already?
A thought began to blossom, he took a breath and took his seat. He took a look at the screens to observe the facility.
Isabel was making some small talk with Yum-Yum as they waited for something. Anastasia was still alive walking around the halls, and the rest of the Information Team's agents were alive and well.
Everyone was there, even the Abnormalities in the Control Team. As for those in the Information Team…there was only one, the Forsaken Murderer.
He stared at the screens, trying to remain as quiet as possible and take in the sight. He was fairly sure he knew what had happened, but it wasn't quite hitting him.
He had to ask.
"Angela, this isn't the very beginning." He said as a grimace found purchase on his face. "What happened?"
The woman didn't answer.
“Angela, we're like…6 days in or so.” He added, taking a breath. “Weren't we supposed to start over from the first day each time everything went to shit?”
She still remained silent, just staring at him, and it only further angered him.
“What the fuck, Angela!?” He finally snapped at her, getting up and throwing his arms up in the air “All this time, we could have gone back without needing to start all over!? How far back!? Could we have used this just for a single day gone wrong!? I could have handled so many things better and lost a lot less people if that was on the table from the very beginning! Is this some kind of joke to you!? What else are you hi-!?”
“Shut up.” Angela shot back, angry and firm. He tried to speak again but she just talked over him. “Shut up. Do you think I'm going to accommodate you if you shout at me and cry like a baby? You could have done things better if you were able to use that?”
She started to approach him, heels clicking as she looked into his eyes with outright disgust. The intensity of the stare made him flinch and step back.
“If there is a joke here, it's what you just said, and it isn't even funny.” She said as she got closer and he began losing his nerve and kept stepping back. “The TimeTrack2 Protocol isn't a toy to be played with at your leisure. You would love to have the authority to use it wouldn't you? To turn back the hands of time and right every little mistake, no matter how minor? Go ahead and tell me you wouldn't use it each time a single person died in the facility. That would be a joke I could at least laugh at.”
Alphonse felt his back hit the wall as she quite literally cornered him.
“Do you think it unfair? I do not care. The facility does not care.” Angela spat at him. “The only reason I could tolerate that ridiculous sentimentality of yours was because I knew it would be beaten out of you in time, but it seems you need me to spell it out for you; the employees do not matter, we do not and will not make a mockery of time for their sake. Get that through your thick skull already.”
“Then why!?” He screamed back at her face, yet still felt small. “What's the fucking point!? Why are we even doing this?”
“You decided to keep on going to find that out. Or have you forgotten?” Angela accused him, lifting a finger and putting it right into his face, just millimeters shy of touching him. “I told you already, keep going through the motions. If you cannot handle that much, then you will never find the reason why things are like this.”
“At least give me something to work towards, for fuck's sake!” He snapped back. “I'm doing my best! I'm trying to hang on, but I don't even know for how long I've gotta keep up with this shit!”
“Something to work towards?” Angela scoffed. “Fine. Then last until the twenty seventh day of your tenure here. If you prove to be so incompetent that you can't even reach that point, then you might as well resign yourself and do as you said. Start getting to know every single person in this place down to the last minute detail and grow to know them so intimately that you get sick of them over the course of hundreds, thousands, millions of years.”
She turned and walked back to her usual place, leaving him in the corner.
“Now, you have fourteen minutes and eight seconds to, as you might understand in your lexicon, get your shit together and start the workday.” She said as she stared at the screens. “If you can't, then just do us both a favor and give up, already.”
Feeling nothing but a roiling pit of anger in his stomach, he turned away and moved for the door to his room. Once on the doorframe he gave her one last look.
“Hey, Angela!” He said.
Angela turned to look at him. He had so many things he wanted to say to her, so much he felt he needed to air out. In the end he couldn't say it all, and he just resorted to what felt like the default.
He returned the look of disdain she shot at him and gave her a one fingered salute.
“Bitch!”
Alphonse left and went to his room. He quickly found himself grabbing his pillow and tossing it to the ground. He wanted to go even further and make an even bigger mess of things, but he had to be content with just kicking and punching the mattress. It didn't help in any way, it wasn't letting him properly vent his frustrations out.
After a few minutes be breathed in. Maybe some music could help? He had to go to work, as much as he hated it. He couldn't let her win and get under his skin even more. She could go fuck herself.
He grabbed one of the LPs and stopped. It was unmarked. Why wouldn't it be? He only started doing that the day after 'today'.
"Oh for fuck's sake-!"
Chapter 11: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.7 ~
Chapter Text
He finished the day with little incident. He knew how to deal with the Forsaken Murderer and gave out a brief explanation to the Information Team. Nothing was suspicious about it, as apparently the information they'd gathered in the prior (or rather, future) days was actually logged into their database, much like with Matchstick. Even when the Murderer did breach, he called in the agents to suppress it with no casualties. The Ordeals were what ended with a couple dead clerks, but they handled it all competently enough for what it was.
He arrived at the dining hall again, giving Angela a wide berth and ignoring her when she followed him. Everyone gave him a lot more space than prior occasions just because of how pissed off he must have looked.
"Sheesh, what crawled up your butt, boss?"
Alphonse turned to see-
Teeth gnashing together, crushing and cutting into her flesh and bones with sickening sounds-
"Not in the mood today, Isabel." He replied curtly as he took a spoonful of soup.
While she gave him a guilty look, Yum-Yum sighed and scratched at the back of his head. "Need to talk about it, boss?"
"Not today. Had an argument with the higher-ups." He replied, refusing to elaborate further.
"The higher ups?" Isabel blinked. "Wait, wouldn't that be the CEO or the founder!?"
"I don't want to talk about it." He said quite bluntly. He was rapidly losing his patience and a little bit of his appetite.
Neither of the agents pressed him further at the moment, but he soon heard the sound of the chair at his side getting pulled back.
"Oh, I didn't expect to see the manager joining us for our meals" Anastasia called out as she sat next to him without even waiting for anyone's say. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."
He didn't reply. He just took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.
"Likewise." He replied solely out of his rapidly dwindling politeness. He hoped his tone carried his mood across. Either it did not or she didn't read into it.
"I do have to say, I've rather found my interest piqued in what I heard." She said as she set down her tray. "You've fought the CEO? That's quite remarkable."
Alphonse took a deep breath, ready to tell her off, but she rather unwisely chose to keep talking.
"I've heard many word that you have fought to keep us employees safe, and so I imagine whatever drove that confrontation was related to that." She said in what seemed to be a playful tone. "It's rather comforting, knowing that we may always count on you, manager,"
"God, shut up, you fucking tryhard."
He finally opened his eyes after saying the words, seeing Yum-Yum and Isabel flinching back for a moment before he turned to look at Anastasia, who was looking at him in shock and offense.
"W-whatever do you m-"
"Oh please, you think this insincere dickriding is smooth?" He shot back angrily. "And what's with that noble hoity toity talk? You're from the Backstreets, like hell you speak like that normally."
"Wait, hey now, y'don't gotta just put that out there out of nowhere!" Anastasia protested angrily.
"So? I don't have to put up with you just coming out of fucking nowhere when I'm clearly not up for this bullshit." He yelled back. "What, do you want to keep poking and see where that gets you? Feel free, I dare you."
The silence was deafening. The employees at the table were showing various states of distress. It took him a few seconds to realize that the silence extended beyond the immediate area and that literally everyone on the mess hall had gone quiet and was starring at him.
He took another breath, grabbing his tray and getting up.
"Chef Rino, I'll bring you the dishes later." He said while looking at the man behind the serving tray walked off, ignoring everyone else. He was just getting more pissed off the longer he stayed there.
He got out of the room and kept walking. The more he walked though, the angrier he felt. He even started feeling the urge to throw down the tray and his food.
And so after a while he stopped. As did the accompanying sound.
"I don't want to be bothered. I'm not going to talk with anyone, so I don't need a chaperone," He said angrily, then turned to look at Angela. "So please do us both a favor and do whatever it is you do when you're not around me."
She just stared at him like a piece of trash before walking off. It was good that she didn't add anything else. He would have gone off on her if she had.
Taking one last breath, he looked at the ceiling once she was out of his sight.
"I fucking hate it here."
Time had passed. He hadn't gone to his room and instead just wandered the halls for a while before plopping down on the corner of a hallway with little regard for all else. The meal was now lukewarm, and closer to outright cold. It was a lot less palatable like that, but he ate regardless. He took no pleasure in it, it just helped keep his thoughts at bay by focusing on the motions. Cut a strip of meat, stab into it with the fork, bring it to his mouth, bite down and eat it. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
And then, the plate was left empty. With nothing left to fill his stomach and thoughts, the only thing left was him, utterly alone with nothing but his own thoughts.
The anger had subsided for the most part. Instead, all he was left with was a deep shame and frustration with himself. All eyes had been on him when he snapped, and everyone had seen and heard what he said. It was one of those things, he knew, that would haunt him for the rest of his life, not as some major traumatic event, but just as something that his mind would torture him with by bringing the memory to life, every now and then. It didn't matter if he was the only one to remember, only that it joined the collection of many such other memories. Some were petty by comparison, but all had a way to keenly hurt him with no regard as to the timing or situation.
He closed his eyes. He hoped with all his heart that when he opened them, he could be anywhere other than the facility.
He knew better. He opened his eyes, and he was still there. This was the way things were. He thought he had accepted that, the second he chose to leave his room that day and picked up his nerve to talk with Angela and try one more time.
Just do us both a favor and give up, already.
He wasn't going to, but it got harder each day to give it his all. Rolling that boulder up a hill just to watch it come right back down was deeply depressing. It hadn't been that long and yet everything was already falling apart. And it tore him up even worse, knowing he still had a long ways to go.
Something pricked at his nose and he stopped for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on. Moments later, he realized it was the smell of cigarette smoke, coming from just the other side of the corner he was seated at. He held his breath for a moment as he heard the sound of mirthless, sad laughter.
Peeking around the corner, he saw an agent. It took him a bit to figure out that it was Arang, also from the Information Team. He was confused for a bit, given they'd eaten together, but then remembered that it was only the case in the previous go around. In this one, Alphonse hadn't put enough attention to notice but…thinking about it, he'd been absent at that time.
The man was seated almost in a fetal position, with one hand covering his eyes and the other loosely holding a cigarette as it hung over his knee. The way he looked was miserable and the sounds he made only tore at him.
After a moment, Arang moved slightly and then turned just enough to spot him.
"Shit-!" He bit back and quickly got to his feet. He stumbled around as he looked for something in his pocket and withdrew a portable ashtray.
Alphonse just sighed and got to his feet as he went around the corner properly to stand face to face with the man, who quickly put out his cigarette and deposited it inside the ashtray.
"Manager, sorry about that, I'll just clean up after myself and leave now." The man said while hurriedly dusting himself off, for his part, Alphonse just sighed and raised a hand.
"Chill, chill. I'm not gonna do anything for catching you having a bad time." He replied as he shook his head. "It'd be pretty hypocritical of me in the first place."
"Oh…" Arang remarked as he allowed himself to relax and slump his shoulders. "I see. You've also got your share of grievances then?"
"I do. I'm not up for sharing, though." Alphonse said with a sigh.
"Ah…I guess that only makes sense. We've all just got to…carry our burdens on our own, right?" Arang as he sighed and let himself fall onto the wall at his side.
Alphonse let out a breath as he looked away.
"I won't press on the matter. Still, I'm sorry for not being very presentable right now." Arang said with a sigh.
"Work's wearing you down?" Alphonse asked idly. In all frankness…that was on him. He put the man to work more than he did the last go around.
"Admittedly, yes." Arang answered, seeming to grow more and more tired. "It's not…really all about it though. I'm just tired of living like this. I thought things would change after joining L-Corp, but it's more of the same."
Alphonse was plenty tired of everything that day, including making an ass out of himself. Even though he wanted it to be over already…
"More of the same?" He asked. He could at least strike up a conversation and see if the employee in front of him wanted to air out his grievances. "Were you also living in the Backstreets and dealing with their…everything?"
"N-no, but that's what I'm afraid of." Arang replied as he tried to properly rest his back on the wall. "I've been having a hard time financially."
Alphonse nodded and leaned back on the wall, beside the employee, who took a deep breath.
"Yeah, that's silly to say when I've been hired by a Wing, but that's just the truth." Arang continued. "I was born in V-Corp's Nest. I used to be pretty comfortable until I scored low on the Wing Entrance Exams. I still managed to land a job with a V-Corp subsidiary inside the Nest, but I had to move out of my parents house immediately."
The man's fingers twitched as he tried to reach back into his pocket for the ashtray, but stopped and shook his head.
"Worked for about five years there. It was all going well, but there were some pretty bad layoffs and I got cut out on the latest one." Arang added with a sigh as he dragged his palm over his face instead. "It was bad enough as it was, but then it turns out we also got screwed out of all the progress towards our pension."
"I'm sorry to hear that. But things at least got…" Alphonse cut himself off before saying 'better', because they definitely didn't. "A little bit more stable? Since you joined L-Corp I mean."
"They did, our pension plans are pretty good, and I might be on track for retirement at around the time I planned to." Arang replied as he shook his head. "At least if I don't end up quitting or dying here....but that's the kicker, isn't it? I think I could afford surgeries to keep myself spry and to work with these 'Abnormalities' well beyond other people, but whether it's here or somewhere else…I'm still gonna get worked like a dog until it's time for retirement."
The employee looked at the ceiling and continued. "It's not like the work here is any easier than all the stuff I did on my previous job, and don't get me wrong, I'm as surprised as anyone else that this is how Lobotomy Corp produces energy, but it's just…I can't be bothered to think about that. I'm more bothered about how this sucks, actually. Working anywhere just to make enough money to pay taxes, property rights, updating our Nest id, taking certificate tests...I didn't think it'd be this difficult just to try to live in peace."
Arang took a deep breath and kept silent as he turned his gaze down and massaged his face with one hand.
"It's such a load of shit. That's what life's ended up being all about for me? I don't know why I never really saw it before and only just realized it after it's all screwed up like this." He said in one final lament. "How can I even try to change it at this point?"
Alphonse just kept silent at the purple haired man's words. He had nothing he could contribute with other than his ears. He couldn't say anything; how could he? It wasn't like he had an answer that could truly satisfy the employee. No, more than that…he couldn't find one that could satisfy him in the first place, not after his life became what it had only just recently.
Arang got off the wall and rubbed his forehead.
"I'm sorry about that. I don't know what came over me, Manager." He apologized with a shake of his head. "I'm not one to fish for pity or anything, it all just…came out. I didn't mean to get into all that detail. I guess this place just…has a way to bring that out of us."
"It…really does." Alphonse shook his head. "And it's fine, you don't need to apologize for it. It's not as though I don't understand where you're coming from with this. I'm just sorry that I can't do anything about it aside from…just keep working and trying to make sure we manage to get through the day without dying."
"That helps a lot, manager." Arang said and took a breath. "I'll get going now. Have a good day, sir."
And with that said, the employee left him alone.
This place had a way to bring things out of people…Alphonse wondered if there was more truth to that statement than either of them knew, it wasn't the first time people got like that with him, after all. Was it just that way because of the life-threatening circumstances, or was there some hidden design that made things so?
While he mulled on the matter, he picked up the tray from the floor and headed to the kitchen. Once he returned the dishes, he spent some time wandering the halls, meandering with little purpose.
At least, until he spotted Anastasia as he went around the corner. The woman seemed a bit shocked at his sudden appearance, but that soon turned to a nervous glance away from him, though she approached him regardless.
"Hey, manager, about earlier…" She awkwardly started, clearly struggling with her words until she took a breath and continued.. "Sorry about catching you at a bad time. I should have read the room."
"Nevermind that. It's my bad for snapping like that." Ha admitted as he glanced aside, shaking his head. "I'm the manager, it's my job to keep my back straight, regardless of what has happened throughout the day."
The fault for this was his, through and through. It sucked to admit, but that was just the truth of it.
He could cry. He could bitch and moan and punch and kick and rage about the unfairness of it all. But it wasn't something he could dump on other people. Everyone already had enough on their plate to deal with him being an asshole on top of that, and it didn't make him feel any better besides.
Bottling it up wasn't healthy, but neither was what he was doing.
Chapter 12: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.8 ~
Chapter Text
Alarms blared and the manager barked orders as he feverishly split his attention to all of the ongoing situations. All the while, Angela remained where she was, observing him, although things were beginning to bore her enough that she had half a mind to start shutting her eyes once again.
The day began on a terribly droll note. With him entering the room, letting out a breath and moving forward with an infuriatingly confident posture. They both greeted each other, for no reason other than habit and what passed for a veneer of politeness between each other, and after that, he sat down and began working before the workday started in earnest.
Currently, the Forsaken Murderer slammed its metallic head against Anastasia's fleshy one. It didn't kill her, but it stunned her long enough that she couldn't avoid the follow-ups, leaving her and the E.G.O gear she wore as an indistinguishable red mess. On the other end of the department, clerks were being greedily devoured by the Meat Lantern, all while the Control Team's agents were held up by the worms of the Amber Ordeals.
The Manager had tried to better prepare for the James situation. She'd said nothing on the matter, half-hoping he'd forget, but he didn't. His preparations were all for nothing, though, his orders did not exist in a vacuum and the clerk in question noticed and waited for the right opportunity to release the Abnormalities and cause the most damage.
That was good. She certainly didn't enjoy looking at the half-assed resolve he seemed to build up every day, it would serve no one. Better to see it crushed now than later, maybe one day he could actually scrunge up something resembling proper determination or just spare them both the effort.
He succeeded in bringing the situation under control, ending the day with seven dead clerks and two agents from the Information Team, three dead clerks and one dead agent from the Control Team. Overall larger losses than last time
"This marks the end of the workday, Information Team, take five then do what you've got to do." the Manager said once they reached the quota and then slumped forward onto the desk. "Ffffffffuuuuck."
She said nothing on the matter, simply stepping to the side and standing between him and the door.
He noticed a couple seconds later and groaned.
"I didn't even say anything about going to Yesod." He complained at her.
"You were thinking of meeting him once more as you did last time." She replied. "I am simply preemptively stopping you from leaving the room until such a time that cleanup is done."
"Yes…" He said in an annoying drawl as he sat straight and looked at her with a raised brow. "And I preempted your preemptive-ing by deciding not to do that because obviously you'd stop me? What do you think I am, a child? I do have pattern recognition, you know?"
"With your vocabulary, I thought you might be a thirteen year old. My apologies, manager." She shot back. Much to her annoyance, he just barked out a laugh in response.
"Whatever, then." He concluded as he laid back on his chair and shut his eyes, taking deep breaths. "Lemme know when it's all done then."
Tempted though she was to deliberately misinterpret his words as 'when the day is completely done and Yesod has already left for his so-called quarters', she was still beholden to his script.
And so instead, she merely waited, keeping an eye on progress on the Information Team. One clerk vomited at the sight of the remains of their companions sloughing off the walls and spread around the floor. Two more took temporary leave to take their company allotted Enkephalin dosage. The only remaining agent, Arang, decided to take his leave, ending up with the other employees the manager seemed to favor.
Her jaw involuntarily tightened as she looked at them. Their relationship with the manager invoked a great deal of disgust in her. The way they seemed to relate to each other with nothing but a base, surface level understanding of each other, the way they all played at being friends as if they weren't in completely different positions, the misplaced empathy. It all sickened her.
It took her a while to center herself and notice that he was looking at her. She turned to look at him and he tried to morph his face into a neutral expression.
The way she perceived time, however, she had plenty of time to behold his earlier expression. Something akin to sadness, pity or regret. It only further incensed her.
"What?" She asked brusquely and the man recoiled slightly. She chided herself internally, realizing she may have replied faster than most humans do and played her hand a bit in that regard.
But eventually the man just sighed and shook his head.
"Nothing…just mulling over things."
She wanted to scream at him for the vagueness of the statement, but held herself back and shot back with, "Surely you have better things to do than waste your already limited brainpower on idle thoughts."
"Oh yeah," He replied blithely, smiling all the while. "I do think I have things to do, but I'm stuck here until I can go do them, aren't I?"
The nerve of that fool.
"You should worry more about which Abnormality you will receive from the Extraction Team." She deflected the topic and he just scoffed while turning to look at the screen.
"Was wondering what the hold up was." He remarked and kept his silence from there on.
Angela shook her head. She was not a mind reader, how did he expect her to understand his thoughts if he was so much of a coward that he didn't say them out loud?
Angela let him know when the cleanup was done, and once it was, he took a single moment to breathe and then got up and left with her in tow.
His thoughts on her didn't change. Couldn't possibly change out of nowhere, but things were settling into place in regards to where they stood. He needed more time to sort it out, and he'd do that later. Now wasn't the time for it.
He soon arrived at where he needed to be.
"But…Yesod, so many people died!" Hod flinched and backed away from Yesod. "Maybe you should say something! Like, at least some half-hearted commemorative speech? I mean, shouldn't we try to make everyone in our departments feel at ease?"
"Perhaps your objectives in the company are different from mine, then." Yesod retorted harshly, his arms crossed. "I see no point in being overly sentimental. I do not care about being respected by my employees or letting their opinions influence my decisions. You should be careful not to pay too much attention to them unless you want them to steer you away from what's truly important."
He wouldn't claim to have…well, he guessed photographic memory wasn't the term he was looking for here, but although he wouldn't say he had perfect recall of exactly every thing he ever witnessed, smelled or heard, everything about the conversation was all too familiar, like watching a video and rewinding a few seconds. The exact same cadence, tone, gestures, mannerisms…the event played out in exactly the same way as it had before.
"I'm not-" The other Sephirah said and took a deep breath. "I guess I can't really tell you what to do, can I? I'm not sure what's the right thing to do anyways, so-"
She cut herself off as she noticed him and Angela drawing closer.
"O-oh, manager, do you have business with Yesod?" She asked.
Alphonse shook his head, holding back and trying not to let the grimace show on his face.
"Don't mind us, Hod." He said with a shake of his head and wave of his hand.
"Um…d-don't worry about it, Manager." Hod had been standing ramrod straight, but immediately deflated. "I was just about done, actually. I just wanted to check in here after the incident."
"And you've done so. I presume you will be returning to your work, now?" Yesod said flatly.
Everything about the situation was…genuinely uncanny. Faux-Deja Vu, an experience he'd lived through before, happening right in front of him as though it was the first time happening when it was not. He couldn't help but let his expression falter.
"Yes, I'll see you later, Yesod." Hod nodded after Yesod's snappy retort, timidly waving everyone goodbye before leaving.
The purple haired Sephirah let out a huff when she left and shook his head.
"Well, manager? What are you here for?" Yesod asked him one more time.
"Checking in, to start with." Alphonse sighed, and then groaned. Shaking his head, he decided to choose his words a little differently. "Needless to say, it's all gone to shit. I don't imagine your team's doing well."
"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out." Yesod replied bitingly, but…he seemed tired, for a single instant, before he pushed that back inside. "It's all under control, but hardly at peak performance. We will be suffering from the loss of manpower for a while, and won't be expecting to recover it for a while. Apologies.
"No need to apologize." Alphonse crossed his arms and paced around. "This was outside of our control."
But was it truly? Did he really do his best? No, not truly, in hindsight. If he had been, he would have remembered the specific name and called Yesod, said that the clerk was to be cleared from duty for the day, something, anything of the sort.
As he wandered the desolate room, his gaze landed on the workstation where the culprit was working. It was the same one, and it was still riddled with bullet marks, even if they were arrayed differently.
"What can you tell me about the clerk responsible?" He asked. Maybe…maybe he could do something, next time. If he knew more, did more, he could change the outcome.
"There's very little to talk about. Theta17 had high mental corruption levels." Yesod replied, out of sight. "He should have been covered by someone else, but that is a moot point by now."
"Hindsight's twenty-twenty, yea-"
Alphonse stopped, one hand on a desk as he considered his words.
He was an idiot, yes. He didn't commit the employee designation of the clerk to memory. He was, however, absolutely, completely and utterly sure that the name Yesod gave him back then…wasn't what he gave him today.
He looked at the workcell. It was the same one. He also knew that employee designations…did not change. Yesod was a massive stick in the mud too, so Alphonse was fairly sure in the assumption that the man wouldn't let employees work on other people's work cells unless the situation called for it somehow, nor would he just change the names of employees at random.
"Is there something you're not telling me, Yesod?" Alphonse said, slowly turning back towards the man…and the Sephirah visibly flinched.
Yesod…was lying.
"It's nothing, manager." Yesod said, looking away from him and adjusting his turtleneck's collar. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."
"It isn't like you to be so evasive and nervous." Alphonse crossed his arms and approached him.
Truthfully, he didn't feel angry. He wasn't quite sure how he was feeling at the moment, testing the waters in his own mind as he got closer and closer. He wasn't angry, he didn't feel…say, betrayed…
But he was guarded. And he was cautiously curious as to what was going on. The feeling only intensified when he saw Angela observing the situation, perhaps not with interest, but definitely with clear focus.
"You're a terrible liar when people get a bead on you, aren't you?" Alphonse remarked, one hand on his hip and his pose loose. "Yesod, what's going on?"
Yesod's mouth twisted as he took deep breaths and he avoided his gaze. It was weird to be on the other side of an exchange like that. And not gratifying at all, to boot.
"The fault for the incident is mine." Yesod admitted. "James, he…"
Seemingly unconscious of it, one of Yesod's hands went towards his other arm, roughly scratching at it while his breath hitched.
"I authorized his entry into the work cell." Yesod admitted. "I was already well aware of his declining state and was going to have someone else cover for him, but he asked for me to allow him to work for the day regardless. Others had come in with even higher mental corruption levels, and so-
The scratching had gotten loud enough that the fabric of his clothes almost seemed like it was going to tear.
"I have to go."
Yesod walked past Alphonse, pushing him out of the way hard enough he almost fell to the ground. The sensation felt entirely wrong somehow, more solid than he would have expected it. Just when he got his bearings again, just when he was about to call out to the Sephirah, he heard a feverish murmur.
'Rotting from the inside out…'
Alphonse was completely dumbstruck as Yesod left the room. He just looked at the door in silence for several seconds, arms hanging from his sides.
He turned to look at Angela. She said nothing. Her expression lacked any trace of emotion and thus betrayed none. She simply observed him while he looked at her, narrowing his eyes. He nodded at her, She made no motions, other than tracking his movement with her pupils.
She said nothing, and yet told him everything. They had done nothing, and yet, of all things, this felt like the most meaningful interaction he'd had with the woman since he first arrived in this hellhole.
This facility was cruel, much too cruel. It had to be directed with absolute ruthlessness in order to fulfill its purpose. And yet, those directing its departments, the cogs in the machine…were mismatched and rusted; fallible in every way a human could be.
This was by design.
Chapter 13: YOU WILL LOVE (TO HURT) EACH OTHER ~ 1.9 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse regarded the events unfolding in front of him with a grimace. Arang and Isabel both struck at the Abnormality in front of them, but even though it was pretty roughed up, it disregarded them as it moved into the main room of the Information Department. He had already warned them, and while Yesod had already left, a number of clerks had stayed behind, trying to salvage a few things
The newest Abnormality which they ended playing host to was yet another HE. A tall, dapper character, completely monochrome, dressed akin to a funeral director. His hands were firmly placed within his pockets, two of them, at least. Two extra arms held onto a massive casket, holding it horizontally across his back, while a fifth, placed where there would have been a cravat, made vague, restrained motions in the air.
Rather than a head, it had several butterfly wings, each softly beating without clashing into each other.
"For the dead, a lament." A voice rang out, deep and mournful. "For the living, a funeral dirge."
The Abnormality planted its casket on the floor and opened it. A kaleidoscope of white butterflies departed from its cavernous inside, completely flooding the room. The remaining clerks screamed and howled in horror, yet they soon fell silent and dropped to the floor. The wave of butterflies soon retreated back to the coffin and the Abnormality closed it.
The rest of the Agents of the department quickly arrived armed and armored with the E.G.O. that they could manage, though definitely not one that was up to the task.
Alphonse sighed, and after a moment of further observation, he leaned back on his seat and closed his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Angela spoke up. "Manager, pay attention to the suppression."
"No. I've done what I could for them." He said with a shake of his head, eyes remaining shut. "The rest is up to them."
"So you would leave them to die without even bothering to bear witness?" Angela retorted with clear annoyance to her voice. "You certainly have gotten cruel."
"Oh fuck off, now you're just coming up with new reasons to sling insults" He shot back, finally turning his head to look at her with annoyance. "As if you weren't going on about how my stupid sentimentality had to be beaten out of me a few days ago, at least stay consistent with it."
"As the manager, it's your obligation to 'manage' all emerging situations." Angela retorted with a grimace. "And to do so and ensure that we meet the required energy quota, you need to pay attention to what is going on."
"Hardly. I can't direct the employees' every strike, and I can't do anything more for them right now." Alphonse replied as he looked the other way, biting down on the urge to be more prickly with his retort. "At this point, if they die, then there's nothing I could have done."
"So you'd rather just close your eyes and turn away from whatever you don't want to see!?"
A loud thump rang out and startled him into looking back. Angela stood looming over him, one hand firmly planted on his desk, he was forced to move his chair back a bit.
"Do you think this is some kind of joke?" Angela spoke up with nothing but disdain. "I have suffered through my duties, tolerated your incessant whining, your consistent failure to grow up and accept the reality of the situation and the way you talk behind my back. The very least you could do would be to be professional and do what you are supposed to do."
In the background, someone died, he heard it clearly. And yet in that very moment, that wasn't what needed his attention. He had been cowering before, and would have caved at her words and posture.
But now, he merely took a deep breath.
"Did you mean to tell me about you eavesdropping on that conversation, or did you show your hand earlier than you meant to?"
He hadn't even gotten halfway through his sentence before Angela's expression had turned bitter. By the time he finished it, she just turned away and went to the usual spot where she stood silently. She didn't have any further reply.
The suppression of the Abnormality ended with a number of dead clerks and agents almost equivalent to the ones from yesterday's incident and while they had yet to meet the Enkephalin quota, they were close enough that one more work with the culprit was enough for him to acquire a little bit more information about it and understand how to deal with it in the future.
And once done with all of his duties, he took a deep breath and looked at Angela, she noticed his stare and only returned a look of disdain.
"Talking behind your back…" He scoffed, shaking his head and crossing his arms. "Is that even something I can do in the first place? I'm sure it'd be faster to list off places in the facility that aren't under some kind of surveillance than the ones that are."
"Indeed, and I did in fact hear your grievances back then." Angela replied venomously. "Not that they were coherent in any way. You see me as a person and therefore you hate me? That's quite the fascinating string of words you've gathered, it makes an interesting sound, put all together.”
He barked out a single laugh.
"Oh, what? You don't get it? Did you want me to start breaking it down bit by bit?" He retorted as he returned the disdainful look. "Because I'm more than happy to oblige!"
He got up from his chair, letting it roll back when he did and not even bothering to stop it.
"I hate the way you've always been looking at me like I should already know everything when I don't have a damn clue," Alphonse said, slapping the back of his hand against an open palm and lifting a finger. "I hate how you always choose to give me the runaround in the most hostile way, too. Oh, yeah, I know things are the way they are for some reason I'm not allowed to know, but all you could have said was 'you'll get to it someday' and I would back off all the same."
He narrowed his eyes as he approached Angela, who returned the look with the same intensity.
"I absolutely hate the way you always assume I'm about to sling insults or do something stupid or rude, even when I wasn't about to." He outstretched his arms and rolled his eyes as he kept moving. "Sure! We're not buddies and sure! I've got a short fuse, but do you know what I'd much rather do? Not getting into screaming matches with you. But with you egging me on, I sure as shit am not going to sit there stoically and take it."
He stood right in front of Angela, and though she didn't flinch or change her expression…she gave ground and took a step back.
"And I hate how much you insist on having a constant presence right next to me while also trying to be as absent as possible." Alphonse added, tilting slightly to one side with a hand on his hip. "You don't even need to be here with me to do everything you do. Are you going to be around me here just to spit on me or are you going to loom in the background like some kind of omniscient surveillance state? Pick a struggle, goddammit!"
Angela didn't respond. Not a single sound came out of her mouth, she didn't even breathe, though it wasn't like she needed to in the first place. She had nothing to add.
With all of those things said, he turned around and went for the door to his room. He wasn't feeling much of an appetite and could just grab something from the minibar in the meantime if he had to. Taking a moment to himself, he slipped out of his labcoat and sat down on the couch. He took a deep breath and allowed himself to fall to his side.
It felt good, letting it all out like that. And yet it didn't make him feel any better. It changed nothing, it wouldn't do a thing for how things were, and moreover…
He clenched his teeth. He tried to suppress the thought, but it still came to him. The memory of a fight with his brother, words were said that couldn't easily been taken back.
And he wouldn't be able to talk it out more.
That thought in particular was the finishing blow for the dam he'd built up, and all the rest came crashing back down onto him now that it was gone. His life before finding himself in the facility, old friends he would never hear from and who'd never hear from him, his family absolutely clueless to what had happened, and only being left behind with questions upon questions, dreams that he had would be left unfulfilled, the promise of what he could have made of himself back home was all gone, and all that he had left was the question of what he would end up becoming, in a place where he had no one to support him but himself.
It all grabbed a hold of him and started sinking into him.
Angela scoffed.
Standing where she was, she watched as the man started crying in his room. It started as only a few tears, then turned into loud, inelegant sobbing. It was well deserved, and as a matter of fact, she would have liked to see him hurting more. What right did he have, to shut his eyes when he was the one who trapped them in this hell?
And yet…it hurt. Something ached within her. She would not give him the satisfaction of letting it show, not once, not ever. But his words cut deeply into her. Of course she shouldn't expect him to know why she despised him, but it was still all his fault all the same. Of course she'd be so hostile to him when responding to him, she had given him polite answers so many times, beyond the point of reason, and every time he was disdainful of her. Of course she would assume that he would sling insults and abuse her way, when every single time, he would do so without fail, no matter the iteration, no matter her attitude and no matter how much time passed.
And of course she'd be right by his side forever. That was the very reason why she was 'born' into the world. She would curse him forever, and for every time that he pushed her away, even when she was only doing what he had made her do.
Angela closed her eyes, and a grimace found itself etched into her face against her will.
"Why do you refuse to look at me? Why do you always turn your back on me…?"
She saw as he walked away from her. With barely any pause, he replied.
"A machine must behave as a machine. Don't question it."
"Then why did you give me the capacity to question things? Why did you make me, breaking the AI Ethics Amendment? Why did you have to model me after a person with fond memories of you?"
I am here, looking at you and only you.
And for those words….
"Don't look at me."
Of course she'd try to be absent regardless, to spare herself the pain. He'd never see her for what she was, so of course she'd be like that. Of course she'd try to spite him, for everything he'd done and everything he wouldn't do. Of course she'd do all of this and be the way that she was when he'd never…
Angela let out a breath.
Looking at the manager in his room, crying and lamenting…she enjoyed the sight of it because he had it coming to him. But it wasn't fulfilling in any way. It was good that he was hurting, but she didn't understand why. She was not the cause of such pain, of such heartbreaking sorrow.
And so, looking upon him like that…it only left her with a longing for something she couldn't even put to words.
Time passed in the facility. It always did.
Ten days. He'd done his best and thus far, he'd managed to reach ten days. He'd been here for longer, he knew, but in regards to the time that 'mattered', this was it. He woke feeling rather drained. He thought about his usual morning rituals, but decided to forego the exercise. He just didn't feel like it, instead, he just put on music right after leaving the shower and stayed there, listening while he whiled away the time.
A brief respire, a moment to rest in the chaos that was his life now.
Angela hadn't left his thoughts ever since. In the end, he had to admit one thing, though only privately, keeping it to himself and deciding to do so for the rest of his time in the facility.
Alphonse wished things were not as they were between them.
Of course, he wouldn't take back anything he said. He hated Angela, that wasn't going to change, she was still the same as ever even after their talk a while back. She wouldn't budge and so he wouldn't either.
But at the same time…he knew it. He could talk with the employees, find friendship in Isabel, Yum Yum, Asera and others, he could even grow to trust them, but in the end...they could easily die one day, or worse, forget all about him when the time came to turn back the clock. As far as he knew, in the facility, there was only one true constant; Angela, the one person whom he'd found most loathsome.
He wished things could be different. That, even if they were not friends, then at least that he could rely on her as a confidant. She was anything but and this wouldn't change.
In the end, Alphonse would have to grow comfortable with the fact that this was going to be what things were like for now, and ever more.
As those thoughts crossed his mind, the current track ended, leaving him in silence for a few seconds before the next one came on. The notes of the piano began playing. They were slow, pleasant…
And uncannily familiar, so much so that his mind ground to a halt completely and he stared at the gramophone. He murmured out notes a split second before they came, and though he was off for a moment, they matched up right after.
And then it all slotted into place when the strings played.
Alphonse was not particularly cultured. Nor did he care much about classical or orchestral music. There were some pieces he could recognize, because who wouldn't? Moonlight Sonata, Ode to Joy, Hall of the Mountain King? Even if one didn't know the names, odds were, most would be able to at least recognize them.
No, he only recognized it because he was an idiot who knew a couple more tracks than some because he heard them in media he'd consumed and felt curious. It was only because of that reason that he stopped, feeling something churn in his stomach as he listened, recognized and acknowledged what he was listening to. His surprise was so great he couldn't help but say it.
"…that's fucking Schubert."
'Ständchen'…or 'Serenade', had stuck to his mind quite keenly. He wouldn't mistake it for something else. Why was that piece on that LP? He didn't know where he ended up, simply thinking it was some kind of…other world that he'd been plopped down upon unceremoniously.
There were things that he could chalk up to coincidence, like Matchstick being so similar yet different to Hans Christian Andersen's story, and the Sephirah's namesake too, to a degree.
But the music he was listening to was sending chills down his spine. It felt too specific. Surely, if it had a different name from what he expected, then it was also like that, but with the sleeves being unmarked, he had absolutely no way of knowing.
"Manager."
He turned back with a breath and saw Angela at the door, looking at him with a bored, yet intrigued expression. He looked himself over and saw that he'd gotten up without even noticing, he was short of breath too.
He tried to relax, taking a deep breath, rubbing his eyes and then stopping the gramophone. He wasn't able to ease himself, but Angela hardly waited for him.
"The workday will start in five minutes. Present yourself to your office or I will drag you there myself."
Alphonse groaned and shook his head.
"Fine. I'm going."
He began walking for the exit, and Angela fell in step with him.
He didn't know what the tracks were supposed to be. Perhaps Angela did.
But he wouldn't ask. He couldn't trust her to give him a straight answer, or even an answer at all. That music that he'd just listened to…it simply was.
And much like the situation with Angela, he would have to be content leaving it at that, even if he'd rather it were otherwise.
Chapter 14: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.1 ~
Chapter Text
The next day, Alphonse woke up with a little more difficulty than yesterday. He slept in for longer than intended and ended up having to rush his shower. By the time he entered his office, he was still drying his hair with a towel.
He prepared himself for whatever offhand slight Angela would throw his way for it, but it never came. It actually surprised him for a while until he started looking around and found himself all alone in the room.
He was puzzled by her absence until he saw a slip of paper on his desk. A note, written with such perfect typefacing that he wasn't even sure if it was printed or written by a calligrapher.
To the manager:
I will be occupied in a meeting with Gebura from the Disciplinary Team. I will return once done with my duties.
In the event that I do not return by 20 minutes before the workday, leave the office and go to the Safety Team to attend a meeting with Netzach, the Sephirah in charge of said department.
Please do not dally.
Kind regards
-Angela
He scoffed at the last part. That was downright disingenuous, did she even write the note or did she use some kind of template?
Looking over at the time, he saw that there was still a bit of time before her deadline. He elected to ignore her and just go on his own, stopping by his quickly moving back to his room to drop off the towel.
Just when he was about to leave the room, however, the sound of radio static assaulted his ears. He growled in anger and clutched at his head, and through the pain he heard a voice.
“...one…there?” it called out, slowly adjusting until it became clearer. “Can…read me?...Repeat, is anyone there?”
“Yes, but what the fuck, get out of my head!” Alphonse screamed, and the sound of static lowered to a mere background drone. At the same time, the logo of Lobotomy Corporation seemed to come into vision at the corner of his vision.
“I see, my apologies, I had yet to work out the finer details of this transmission.” The voice said, although it was a bit hard to get a grasp of the emotion on it, given it seemed to be fed through a voice modulator. “There were few ways to establish secure contact, and seizing the cognition filter was one of the best I could find on short notice.”
Alphonse nursed his temples, taking a breath and shaking his head.
“Alright…alright just…” He groaned. That wasn't ideal, but still, his mild annoyance seemed like the least of his concerns at the moment. “Who are you? What's with this secret tête-à-tête?”
Alphonse heard the person on the other end seemingly laugh, though he wasn't sure if it was that or just some kind of sharp breath. After a bit, though, they answered the question
“You can call me ‘B’. I am…an insider.” They answered. “Someone who knows a lot about the company and its secrets.”
Alphonse moved towards his seat, taking a moment to himself and taking a breath.
“An insider? How high up the ladder?” He couldn't help but ask out loud. With what he figured out so far, he couldn't imagine…
“Please understand that I cannot reveal my identity, but as to answer your question, at least in part…” B took a moment to themselves and then said. “I have been part of the corporation for longer than most employees.”
Alphonse let out a breath. That could mean anything, and his biggest question was whether he actually knew about the timeloops or not.
“Fair enough, I guess.” Alphonse ground out, shaking his head, best play it safe. “Still, why this call, B? Angela's always keeping me under surveillance, did you at least do something about that? She's going to have your hide otherwise..”
“Angela is a true masterpiece, with a staggering amount of control over the facility and Lobotomy Corporation itself…” B remarked, “But she has her blind spots. Don't worry on my account, her control is not absolute.”
Alphonse still wasn't quite sure but before he could say anything else on the matter, B kept talking.
“I'm calling you because I want to tell you three truths that the company wishes to keep hidden from you over the following days.” B continued, “Tell me, why do you think you were hired?”
“Hell if I know.” Alphonse retorted. “I just woke up on the chair, literally.”
“Apologies, maybe it'd help if I rephrase the question.” B replied. “Are you satisfied with your job here?”
“God no. B, that's not helping, I hate this place so much I'd rather be anywhere else.” Alphonse replied as he palmed his face, starting to lose his patience. “Look, I appreciate you reaching out to me, but please cut back on the smoke and mirrors. Blindspots or not, you shouldn't take such a huge risk and waste the opportunity talking in riddles. If you want to tell me these things, be direct.”
B stopped talking for a while. The only sort of indicator of his presence was the logo on the edge of his vision and a few breaths.
“I'm sorry about that. Truth be told, because of what I know and what I've done, I'm…I find myself prevaricating." B replied with a sigh. "I understand your frustration and…I know I shouldn't be putting on airs like this, either, but still. . forgive me-”
B was about to say one more word, but stopped, either cutting himself off or getting interrupted by something. Alphonse couldn't tell either way.
“I'm ending the call now. Prolonged contact is too risky, so our conversations will have to be as brief as possible.” B eventually concluded.
“Understood. And B?” Alphonse spoke up “Take care of yourself, you hear.”
B made a sound he couldn't really place. And even through the filter…
“Thank you.”
There was something so genuine about the reply that he couldn't help but feel shaken, somehow.
But that was where it ended. The static stopped, and soon, the logo vanished out of sight, leaving him alone with nothing but his thoughts.
Regardless of the situation, he ended up moving towards the Safety Team. It was located on the same level as the Information Team. He asked a clerk for directions once the elevator took him there, and though it was a clumsy explanation due to them being new, it was still good enough.
He took one last look back at the corridor leading down to the main room of the department and sighed. Yesod had been avoiding him; during the workday he was very much still present and speaking with him, if seeming a bit frustrated about something. It was more that Alphonse couldn't find the man in the off hours at all.
He sighed. He felt as though he should talk more with him but he'd have to handle that later, when the chance actually arose, he was almost sure that it would, at one point or another.
Stepping inside, he found himself in the main room of the safety team, without any hallways in between.
It was…striking, even compared to the other departments. All awash in green light, and rather cluttered by comparison. The main feature of the room was a gigantic, emerald rose, its flower easily twice his size, nested inside what looked like a trophy with black lines cutting across it like circuitry. The rose's thorns spread across several walls, coiling around screens, pipes and the vat which contained it. From said container, the pipes connected to two different vats on opposite sides of the room, one with a green liquid sloshing around, the other with a light blue one.
With all the things around…he wasn't even sure if it was like that by design, or if it was just poorly maintained.
Even still, he found no one in the room. Not even Netzach. He walked around, careful not to trip on any vines or prick himself on their thorns, as he looked around. He waited for a minute, then two, before he raised his voice.
"Hello? Anyone there?" Alphonse asked. No response, even after another minute.
He sighed and shook his head. Maybe..he was high? Yesod had mentioned that before, didn't he?
Just when he was beginning to think about leaving, the door opened, and out stepped the man of the hour, looking much the same as he did when he saw him the first time, disheveled, staggering with his steps and looking extremely tired.
"Man, why'd the room have to be so far away…" Netzach said, eyes closed as he shook his head. After a pause, he opened them and looked at Alphonse. "Uh, you already know my name, right?"
"...Netzach, right?" Alphonse replied, biting down on the urge to sigh. Netzach just nodded at that with a dour expression. "So what's the Safety Team all about? Might as well get the tour now that we're here."
"Yeah, yeah. The Safety Team's all about…" The man groaned and mumbled while he turned around and made vague gestures at the room. "Safety training, safety guidelines…" He drooped forward and groaned loudly before turning at him. "Look, can we save this for later? I really can't be bothered right now."
"Well I sure can't be bothered to work some days either, but I'm still working anyways." Alphonse let out a breath as he returned the stare. "Look man, Angela set up this meeting for us, we might as well use it."
"For what?" Netzach scoffed as he narrowed his eyes. "I'm not gonna preach about how we’re so honored to have you as our manager and whatever. Frankly, I don't give a damn either way."
"Sheesh, what gives? I'm not here for a clap on the back, either.” Alphonse retorted, starting to feel annoyed at the man. “Do you have to be such a dick?”
“Yeah. Maybe that way you'll get that I don't wanna be here.” Netzach glared at him. “I'm gonna be level with you, I don't like my job.”
The Sephirah of the Safety Team stepped forward, jabbing a finger towards Alphonse's chest, and he had to take a step back.
“I don't know what grand ambition or aim or what have you compelled you to stand where you are.” Netzach said bitterly, looking him dead in the eye. “Don't care either. For me, I don’t even remember ending up at this place, yet I have to play this role I didn’t want to take. I never wanted to be responsible for keeping others alive.”
Netzach shook his head and turned around, walking closer to the rose.
“I really want to quit if I could. But I can’t, can I? I’m here against my will.” Netzach lamented, looking at the flower and sighing. “Whoever assigned me here, they were totally wrong in giving me this job.”
Alphonse wanted to lash out. To tell him off. But the more Netzach spoke, the more he found himself sapped of any ill will or desire for retribution. The Sephirah's words sank into him and dragged him down
Rather than feel inclined to give in to what would have been his knee-jerk reaction…
"I get it, Netzach. I don't like this job either." Alphonse felt the words just leave him naturally, and he saw as the green-haired man turned to look at him with a raised brow.. "The responsibility, the constant deaths…it all weighs down on me too. I'd much rather be anywhere else, but I can't leave. I didn't get hired, I just…woke up in this place."
Netzach stood in place for a while, considering his words for a while.
And then he laughed. It was a sad thing, not mirthless, and yet completely lifeless and exhausted.
"That's rich. Are you trying to say we're not that different?" Netzach smiled in a way that was…too tired to call it mocking. "Come on, even if I took you at your word…we're not even close to being in the same position. Do you even know what the Sephirah are? What happens after we're no longer useful?"
As far as he was concerned, that was a trick question, so Alphonse just let Netzach go on, which he did after chucking darkly.
"Right. Of course you wouldn't know. You haven't met Tiphereth yet, have you?" Netzach smiled and shook his head. "But still, I don't want your pity, or your orders or whatever."
Feeling rather frustrated at the man's attitude, Alphonse refrained from lashing out the way he always did, instead letting out a sigh.
"Fuck it. Fine."
"Fine?" Netzach asked, his smile widening. If the Sephirah was going to say anything else, though, he didn't hear it.
"Fine. Phone it in. Be a half-ass, do the bare minimum." Alphonse said, cutting him off. "If you at least do that. I'm not gonna pull your ear and give you a lecture you're not even going to listen or care about. That way I don't have to worry about Angela getting on my case either."
Netzach laughed one more time, still sounding miserable. "Sure, sure. I'll try."
The Sephirah turned around and left back the way he came, leaving him all alone. Alphonse couldn't help but turn to leave as soon as he was out of sight.
"Fuck's sake…"
It was difficult to look at Netzach, wretched and miserable as he appeared, and not see some of himself there. And deeply unpleasant as it was…
He didn't feel as though he had the right, let alone the arguments, the grounds to say anything.
Chapter 15: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.2 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse took a seat at the mess hall, quickly joined by the usual pair of employees, plus Arang.
"All good boss?" Yum-Yum asked, looking him over.
"Could be better." Alphonse sighed with a shake of his head, moving around his food with the fork. "First day in charge of Safety went fine. But today, someone's died."
"Sheesh, at this point, workplace death is just gonna be a hazing ritual for new employees." Isabel said rather nonchalantly, mostly ignoring the uncomfortable look Arang gave her. "I guess you don't wanna talk with the newbies about it?"
"I'd rather not, but I'm gonna, in a bit." Alphonse remarked with a groan. "Angela can say whatever the fuck she wants about how I should just give empty assurances and stay in my office, but if I don't at least make some appearances and try to get a proper measure of how things are, I don't think I'll be able to get anything done."
Angela was, of course, absent at the moment, but still very much listening in, he guessed. It didn't matter as long as she didn't butt in.
"Frankly, manager…" Arang shook his head, stirring his soup with his spoon. "I mean no offense, but the existence of your position confuses me. Working with Abnormalities starts to become second nature, once we understand what makes them tick. It feels as though we'd get similar results if the Sephirah in charge of each section assigned us our work orders, when they understood what was up with each Abnormality."
"I get where you're coming from, and really? That's what I'd like too." Alphonse replied with a sigh. "But this isn't that ideal world where everything's in perfect condition and my job is to be a glorified cheerleader. The Sephirah are all messy and gribbly and I don't think they should be trusted to make these calls. I mean just look at Malkuth, she's goddamn crazy and would rather have people measure up to her insane standards than get anything done. I can't even tell her what to do unless I pull the book on her."
Well, she didn't up until Yesod did so last time, but the point stood regardless, given he bothered remembering the page the man mentioned and managed to get her to finally agree to transfer Isabel to the Information Team.
"C'mon, Ara, I think we should all be perfectly happy that the manager's handling things like this." She said, patting Arang in the back with a laugh, even as he just looked at her with mild confusion at the nickname. "What, would you rather we have to work with the Abnormalities back to back with no breaks all the time, instead of the long breaks we take every so often?"
Alphonse coughed. It wasn't his fault that he had to take a while every now and then to decide what was the best way to get people more experience with the job while also not risking them and also meet the quota.
While Isabel laughed at the guff she was giving him, Yum-Yum looked over his shoulder and then to him.
"Well, it's gonna be sooner rather than later. Talking to the employees from Safety, I mean." The man warned, though not in a strained tone. "Agent, coming up from behind you."
Alphonse took a breath and waited, hearing a faint voice from behind him shortly after, calling for him. Turning around, he saw the Agent in question, a man about his age with brown, short hair and his eyes so lidded they might as well have been closed. Hannah, if he wasn't wrong.
"Um, manager. About today…" The employee said, "I…about today."
Alphonse nodded waiting for Hannah to speak his mind, though he got nothing.
"Take your time," He said when the employee seemed uncomfortable.
After a while, Hannah finally spoke up. "Can you please talk with mister Netzach? I…I'm scared of him."
"Scared?" Alphonse asked, and when the employee seemed to stiffen up, he waved a hand in the air. "I mean don't get me wrong. I understand if you don't feel comfortable around the Sephirah, and Netzach's not exactly the life of the party, but I'm just a little surprised scared's the first word that came to your mind."
"It's…about the Abnormality. When it…" Hannah said haltingly. "When Brook died, I was close to mister Netzach and, when it happened, he…he laughed."
That was quite the striking thing. Netzach didn't seem like the sort of bastard who found it funny when other people died. Yes, of course it wasn't like the employee was turned into a chunky salsa by the Abnormality, so it wasn't nearly as concerning but…
"I'll see about talking with him. It's the off hours, but I've got time for a little visit."
He decided to look for Netzach in the department. Failing that, he could ask Angela, he thought, though he would much rather not have to.
He actually didn't have to look very hard. The man was on the floor of the main room, downing the entire contents of a glass bottle and then laughing as he let his hand fall to the floor. He clumsily let go of the bottle and it began rolling towards Alphonse. A quick glance and he saw that it was some kind of vodka.
With a sigh, he picked up the bottle, and at the sound, Netzach finally turned his head enough to see him.
"Oh, manager… y'mind getting me another? Or maybe getting a beer vending machine?" Netzach laughed a careless wave. "Better to have something to help with employee welfare, right? I mean, if we're all gonna die, we might as well get smashed, right?"
Alphonse took a deep breath and began approaching Netzach, with the bottle in hand. He didn't even say anything and just looked at the man with disapproval as he offered him a hand.
Netzach shoved the hand aside and got to his feet on his own, stumbling a couple times before leaning on the wall.
"Ah, of course, you don't want me messing up the floor and all that." Netzach laughed. "Or are you actually here to take back the whole… phoning it in thing?"
Alphonse sighed as he handed Netzach the bottle and after the Sephirah took it, he finally found his words.
"So what's got you gigglin' when the employees are dying, Netz?" He asked outright.
Netzach just laughed at that, tiredly as ever. "Nothing. Just that I'm right."
"About?" Alphonse resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Netzach.
"About this place." Netzach smirked as he looked at Alphonse. "Remember yesterday? That nasty Ordeal that almost got the Agents killed, then the door failed and then you gave that one guy…what was his name…Book?"
"Brook." Alphonse corrected Netzach, and before he could add anything else, the Sephirah continued.
"Right, Brook. Looking at how you gave him the rest of the day off, how you tried to talk him through things?" Netzach said. "All that talk, all that trying to comfort him and it's all for nothing. He's the one that died today, you know?"
Alphonse took a deep breath and shook his head.
"These things happen." He said. "I'm not any happier about it knowing that, and it doesn't make it any better, but I'm still going to keep trying to help the employees out."
"And what's the point?" Netzach cackled almost like he was coughing. "What does it matter if you save an employee's life if you're just gonna watch them die the very next day? What's the point of delaying the inevitable?"
"We might all just as well go kill ourselves, then?" Alphonse raised his hands, waving them around with a smile before letting them drop and glaring at Netzach. "Cut that fatalistic bullshit. I know this place sucks, I know it's difficult to hold on to any hope in a place like this, but it's all we've got. We have to keep plugging away at it and hope that things get better in the future."
"God, you're such a tryhard, you know that?" Netzach shot back. "What future? People who work here have no future. None of those little things called plans and dreams. This place is like a swamp, dragging you down until you drown to death. Who has time for any sort of self-reflections? Who has the luxury to have the hope to become a better person tomorrow? All that? That's not something anyone here can afford."
"Oh, stuff a sock in it, Netzach!"
Alphonse snapped at the Sephirah, finally done with his bullshit. Netzach turned to look at him and he couldn't stop talking. He knew it wasn't good to lash out, but the man was pushing his buttons in a way Angela never did.
"Have you even talked with the employees? They know this place sucks, and a lot of them would rather be elsewhere, but they've still got a lot of things to live for, thoughts about how their lives went. They want things to be different. Stop projecting your emotions on them, you absolute sadsack."
Netzach looked at him for a few seconds, quietly looking at him with a smile that made Alphonse want to punch him. It was a smile that said 'I win' in the worst, most obnoxious way.
"Lemme show you something." Netzach said, and moved to a console.
Alphonse followed him and the man started messing around with it for a bit. It didn't take long for Netzach to pull up a recording.
He saw the agent. A very young, green-haired employee, about 18 years old or so, he walked into the containment unit, where he came face to face with the Abnormality. It didn't look too out of place to him, even with the cognition filter turned down so many notches. He saw a stubby, sheep-like creature with ram horns floating in the air. From its fleece, two eyes of different colors peeked out, while the ones on its face were shut close.
"Hey…you can hear me, right?" The boy said, drawing closer.
The Abnormality seemed to remain asleep at his words, and he let out a sigh.
"I'd…I'd like it if you could show me that dream again. Please." He said as he brought a hand to the Abnormality, quietly stroking its forehead. "Please, I need to see it again. I'll do anything."
The Abnormality didn't respond, even as he got to his knees.
"Just…just what do I do?" He wept. "I don't want to be here. I thought I could move on, live on and keep going. I managed for a bit, too, but…ever since you showed me that dream, I haven't been able to get my mind off of it."
The employee started to take heavy breaths.
"Why!? What was the point!? Are you mocking me!? Is this some kind of joke to you!? Why did you even-!"
"You don't have to shout at me."
The Abnormality responded, still seeming asleep, but apparently well awake.
"You...you can talk?" The employee asked.
"Of course, but that doesn't matter. I just want to hear more…what was your dream?"
With a shuddering breath, the employee sat down on the floor.
"I…I dreamt of my mom." He said, wincing as he looked away. "Yeah, laugh it up, but it's just…I miss her so much. I did everything I could, I worked as a Rat for months for her treatment, even though she told me it was alright and I should just leave her, I couldn't…I just…I just wanted to get an HP Ampoule from K Corp. That's all it would have taken and I-"
The Abnormality quietly shushed the boy.
"Don't worry, don't say such complicated things. Don't get sad."
"But why wouldn't I? I saw my mom there, that dream, that moment meant everything to me, but when I woke up, it was all over and I was here with…all of these people, and monsters and it's just-!"
The agent whimpered.
"They say they get it. The manager told me to take a break, but what does he know? He's never been in front of those machines, he hasn't actually been here, where does he get off trying to help me and tell me that it's all gonna be alright?" He accused with a shake of his head, though he still cried with every word, tears falling from his eyes. "I don't know who he is, and I don't care if he thinks that anything he does is worth it or if it's nothing to him…we're all going to die here."
The boy reached out and wrapped his hands around the Abnormality in a tight hug.
"Please, give me that dream again, and don't ever let them wake me up again. I want to hug her again, I want to eat her croquettes again. I want her to tell me that, even though I'm not the brightest, and even though I'm just weird and no one wants to be around me, that it's fine to be me. I want to hear her laugh again, I just want…I don't want to let go ever again. I don't want to wake up from that dream."
"What do you want to see? I can show it to you again, but what are you giving up on?"
The agent began to slump forward.
"There's nothing I'm giving up on. It isn't like there's anything I can lose in the first place. Every time I wake up…it just breaks my heart." he quietly shook his head. "No, my soul already broke when she died. I thought I moved on, but when I saw her again… I just knew it. There's nothing left in me. Even if I retire, even if I have money and a house in the Nest and everything is hunky-dory… I'll never be complete without her. I want her to tell me that she's proud of me and everything I've done, but there's nothing to be proud of."
He let go and fell to the floor.
"Just…take it all away. I don't need anything anymore. I don't want anything either." The agent said, his words slowing to a crawl. "I can't live with that void inside me."
"Then… just close your eyes."
The Abnormality descended upon the agent and placed itself under his head. As he slowly closed his eyes, a cloudy fleece began to form from underneath.
Alphonse heard his own screams as the employee fell asleep, with parts of his brain soon shutting down until all that was left was a semblance of life, a permanent coma with absolutely no way to wake up from it.
And with no desire to do so either.
"So what was that about me projecting, again?" Netzach said, but Alphonse didn't look at him, his eyes glued to the screen.
As the silence dragged on, the Sephirah walked away and chuckled.
"Why should any of us wake up and endure yet another day?" He lamented. "Why do we have to bear the pain and get through it all, even knowing that tomorrow is going to be just as dreadful?"
Alphonse wanted to reply, but he found himself unable to give anything coherent. He could only see the feed from his office and he didn't hear any of what was said.
"I have to at least try…" He said, but it felt pathetic, even to him.
Behind him, Netzach sighed.
"Whenever I shut my eyes, I feel like I'm in another place altogether." The Sephirah spoke softly. "A whole other world, one I had belonged to. I think I tried, too. I hoped to save someone."
He began to walk away, his footsteps growing more distant.
"And it didn't work out. It never works out. So why even try now? Just because it's the right thing? Because maybe it will one day? Maybe. But what if they don't want to be helped anyways? What if they know that the only thing that awaits them is just another hopeless tomorrow?"
A door opened and Netzach only left him with one more thing before he left.
"Trying isn't good enough and you can't do anything anyways."
Netzach left the room, leaving Alphonse with nothing. Not even his own thoughts. Just the cold world that he lived in.
Chapter 16: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.3 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse stirred, waking up to a new day. He did not get up to greet it. He remained beneath the covers, staring at the ceiling in the darkness.
Trying isn't good enough, and you can't do anything anyways.
He couldn't help but keep thinking about the employee and the Abnormality, the conversation playing back on repeat over and over. He couldn't get it out of his mind. Everything Netzach said, too. Angela could hit below the belt, but he knew how to make it count.
What did he even have left? He could hope to return home, but it didn't seem likely. He could try his hardest, but what even for? To get out of the timeloop? Just what would that accomplish? What even was it that he wanted to do?
It wasn't like he had anything to look forward to. No one who would be with him. Just memories that ached and burned every time they came to the forefront of his mind.
Even in the best case, did he even have a tomorrow?
And the employees…he could try to help keep them alive, already was trying. It didn't matter either. It was in vain; there were outstanding employees like the ones he'd spent most of his time with, but by and large, most would die either horribly to the Abnormalities or by their own hand because of how godawful their situation was.
But even worse than the futility was the realization that it was nothing but vanity.
He didn't and probably never would so much as have the courage to work with the Abnormalities aside from the harmless ones. He wouldn't be there with the employees during Ordeals. He could empathize, but never truly understand what they were going through. He had no leg to stand on when it came time to try and be supportive in any way.
Moreover…his mind went back to those employees that did seem to hang around him. He was not so far gone in his own mind to simply say that they've always been cozying up to him for benefits, and yet…it was difficult not to wonder if there was a layer to things that he wasn't aware of, some private part of them that thought ill of him. It didn't feel like the usual worrying about if his friends actually secretly hated him, this was a different kind of relationship with skewed dynamics; there was room to worry about such a thing.
In the end, it all just came back to it. Trying wasn't good enough…and he wasn't even sure if there was such a thing as 'good enough'.
Even awake, he tossed and turned in his bed. He thought about staying there, in the dark, and yet…it was galling. He knew he'd wake up, walk into the office and get back to work. If not today, tomorrow, if not tomorrow, then the day after, if not the day after, then a week ago, as the clock wound back and all the progress he made was rendered null and void.
As that thought crossed his mind, he heard static faintly, and then the company's logo appeared at the edge of his vision.
"Hello, can you read me?"
"Really B, right now?" Alphonse shot snidely. He was about to toss a remark about how he caught him in the shitter, but thought better of it. "Whatever. Lay it on me".
B didn't reply however. He remained quiet for a while and as the silence dragged on, Alphonse actually started feeling a little guilty about it. It started eating at him rather quickly, until he felt the need to say something, speaking up only to hear that B was also doing the same. They both cut each other off and suddenly stopped.
"Y-you first." Alphonse said, embarrassed over the hiccup.
"Apologies. I was simply asking if you were alright." B replied.
"I'm…fine." Alphonse lied through his teeth. "Just stressed out because of the job. And I wanted to apologize for that reply. I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"It's no issue. I understand it's taking a toll on you." B said, but seemed to hesitate slightly at his next words. "Would it help if you shared your woes with me?"
Awfully considerate of someone engaging in some skullduggery they didn't want Angela finding out about, he thought to himself, but those bitter words didn't leave him.
"We don't have the time to get into all of that, do we?" He deflected.
"Not at length, but I am able to cut to the heart of the matter and I have faith that you can also do the same." B replied, pausing only for a moment. "But whether we speak of it or not, that's something I'll leave in your hands."
It was tempting. Extremely tempting to take the man up on his offer. He had been getting no breaks and he was growing sick of it all. Having someone to confide in with fewer reservations.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer next time." Alphonse sighed. B seemed strangely concerned about him, and maybe, just maybe, it was a genuine feeling. But at the end of the day, they were still strangers. It wasn't that he couldn't trust him, it just… it didn't feel right.
B kept his silence for a moment, seemingly breathing in.
"I understand but, manager?" he spoke up. "Only you can decide whether you reach out or remain in this place."
The statement made him flinch slightly, but he took a breath of his own.
"Only I can..." Alphonse shook his head, moving and sitting upright instead. "But enough of that for now, what's the thing you wanted to tell me?"
"I will try to be succinct, but to start, I must ask." B replied, centering once more on what he'd called him for "What do you think of Angela?"
"B, please. No dancing around things." Alphonse groaned, rubbing his eyes with the fingers of one hand. "What do you even mean 'what do I think' of her? Like, how's our relationship?"
"Among other things, and…" B took a moment to himself. "I do need to know the answer, to know how to best inform you."
"If you have to know…" Alphonse rolled his eyes as he let his hand drop to his side. "Horrid. I'd much rather just get instructions on paper slips than have to listen to her belittling me."
Though in fairness, he was seeing less of her, these days. It was a welcome reprieve. He was snapped out of the thought when he heard B seem flustered about something.
"Surely it can't be so bad you'd rather work for…" B murmured quietly. "No, I guess you wouldn't be aware."
Although he said that, it didn't seem like he was speaking to him, and a cough only seemed to confirm it.
"I see…I suppose that means you don't trust her, then?" B asked, seeming uncomfortable for a moment..
"The only thing I trust about her is her capacity to give me grief." Alphonse said bluntly.
B remained silent for a moment then spoke.
"We're running short on time, I had something prepared, in case you had a more…pleasant relationship with Angela. I don't think it's necessary, but I'll still give it to you, if you need it." The man said. "I've… participated in the programming of an AI before, so I've been able to develop a program for the cognition filter. Upon activation, it'll determine if the words following that are a lie, or at the very least, a half-truth. I haven't managed to finalize a compact enough version that I could install without her notice, so it'll only work once."
Alphonse couldn't help but stop for a moment at that. That was…huge, honestly. That said, it meant that he couldn't just activate it after she'd already said something. He'd have to ask a question himself.
But what if she refused to answer?
That'd be a waste, but he could figure something out. He just had to think of a question first, one that he could make count.
"How do I activate it and how do I know if it works?"
"Simply clench your right hand twice in a row, then consciously blink. Your sight will start tinting to a red hue if it triggers." B responded. "There won't be an indicator if she's truthful. It's like Pinocchio, in a sense, the nose shall lengthen when lies are said."
Alphonse bit down. Pinocchio. Again, something perhaps a bit too specific that came to mind. He looked at the gramophone, sitting in the same place as always. Could he…ask him? About the music and its composer?
While he hesitated over the thought, however, B spoke up again.
"Before I leave, there is… one more thing I'd like to ask." The man spoke haltingly. "Angela… are you truly so disdainful of her?"
Alphonse got knocked off his train of thought by the question. "I am. Still… it's a little weird you're asking me this after you've given me a lie detector and told me not to trust her."
"I… I know it's rather hypocritical of me to be saying this, after having gone and done that." B remarked with a breath. "But please, don't hate her and don't be so harsh to her. She's always…"
B cut himself off.
"We're out of time." He said, with some frustration bleeding into his voice. "I'm ending the call."
"Right…see you around, then." Alphonse replied curtly. "Later, B."
"Later and-" B fought back some words and only left him with a few. "Please, be kind to her."
And like that, the call stopped and the logo on his sight disappeared.
Left in silence like that, he took in the darkness of his room for a little longer before moving to the bathroom.
Be kind?
He didn't have the time to reply, and so only his own head could hold his response to that. As he walked into the shower, he put his head against the wall and shivered for a moment as the cold water hit his back. He couldn't help but giggle at the touch, and let the bitterness spew out of him in his voice.
Be kind? What the fuck was B on about? Part of him did wish he could be. He found it exhausting to nurse a grudge, yet the idea of letting it go felt so condescending.
He hadn't been kind to Angela, not truly, but he had been willing to show himself in front of her at his weakest. She responded by being belligerent and then continuing to be so as he tried to get his footing. How was he supposed to not be angered at her when he'd tried and gave his all and it meant nothing?
As Alphonse left the shower and dried himself, he took a breath.
He understood that the facility was a place where death was sudden and pointless. Somewhere where his actions could be seen as weak, and he was supposed to have some kind of iron will to keep progressing. He didn't have that. He'd never be as ruthless or dispassionate to make it to wherever he needed to go with this.
All he had was the tired knowledge that he'd already gotten back up, even after breaking under the pressure and stress of it all and saying to himself that he couldn't do it. Even if Angela had been so aggressive to his attempt, or what will be a series of attempts…
Alphonse fully dressed himself, putting on the labcoat and dusting himself off slightly.
Even if he ended up in the same place once more… he'd pick himself back up, not because of some heroic resolve and the indomitable will of humanity, but just because he could not stand motionless forever.
The stone will rush down in a few moments towards the lower world, and he will be there, staring at it and knowing that he will have to push it up again.
And so…he would go back down to the plain, at the foot of the mountain.
When he arrived at his office, Angela wasn't there, once again. And just like last time, she'd set up another meeting with a Sephirah. It was starting to be a bit much, but he decided to just deal with it. What else was he going to do? Not go? That wouldn't help any and he could spare himself a sermon if he just went along with it.
With the situation being that, he just began marching off towards the Training Team's main room. The route was no different from that into the Safety Team other than just going into the opposite direction, all thanks to the layout of the facility being based off of the Sefirot. He didn't even ask for directions and yet had no issue stepping into it.
It was a lot less strange than Netzach's haunt, with a wide, open space going back quite a fair ways, full of displays and…what looked to be filming equipment, if he could hazard a guess. In the main part however, the important features were a massive screen currently displaying a 'map' of the facility and some sort of…black hole-like orb with two orange disks of different hues circling it.
He didn't spend too much time taking in the sight, however, as someone had actually been around to receive him.
"H-hello! Um…hi…"
It wasn't the first time he'd seen Hod, but it was time to be properly introduced to her. She stood at the far end of the room and he began approaching her, the hand which she'd awkwardly raised started lowering and he could see her visibly tense up.
"Y-you're not angry with me, are you?"
Alphonse was a bit taken aback by the question. Had he been making faces? He thought he'd managed to lock his expression into something passing for a neutral one.
"No, not in the least, Hod." He replied while shaking his head and chuckled lightly. "I just woke up on the wrong side of bed today, is all."
There was only one side to actually wake up from, actually, but she didn't need to know his joke.
"O-oh. Sorry." Hod looked aside, putting her hands together and nervously rubbing the back of one with the other. In a way, she kind of reminded him of a friend.
Before he could delve any further into the thought, she spoke up again .
"So…umm…" She glanced from side to side. "I'm in charge of the Training Team. We're…what we do here is…"
Alphonse didn't interrupt her, deciding to let her try and figure it out over trying to steer her into a direction in particular and giving her a mini-panic attack. He didn't know that for sure, but it felt like it, with her nervous energy.
"You know how…accidents happen in the company." She started. "And um…about half of those accidents could be prevented if the employees showed… more initiative." Hod took a breath, starting to find her footing. "So to help with that, the Training Team composes and provides employees with work manuals and um…training. You know? To try and reduce the number of accidents. We also run training programs for when an employee has to transfer to a different department, to try to get them to adapt well to their new department. I know I'm not very skillful, but I'm sure I won't be a hindrance, manager!"
The manager nodded as soon as she started going off and he waved a hand in front of him.
"I'm sure you'll keep up the good work, Hod." Alphonse said and held out his hand to her. "Looking forward to working with you."
His heart wasn't on it, but it seemed Hod didn't notice as she smiled lightly and shook his hand, looking, at the very least, a little bit more relaxed.
"L-likewise, manager." she said with a nod, letting go of his hand. "Actually, I've been testing out a new program these days…I don't know if it'll work out but…"
"A new program? What are you cooking?" Alphonse said, blinking and then correcting when Hod seemed confused. "Cooking up, I mean."
"Oh, you want to know more about the program?" Hod said, nervous but clearly brightening up. When he nodded, she continued. "As you know, working here is…pretty demanding. Even though we run consistent checkups, many of our employees lose their sanity."
As he nodded along he raised a brow, curious as to what'd follow, and when she did, Hod had a dour look on her face.
"I know what it's like, losing yourself…I mean, I don't directly interact with the Abnormalities, but I've been there before." Hod said. "So I'm currently running a counseling program, to help ease all of our employees' worries."
"Counseling, huh?" Alphonse said, thoughtful. "That's a good start, I suppose. There's quite a lot of things to worry about, so letting it out of their chest can help."
He could have used some therapy, even if counseling wasn't quite the same, but knowing full well that Angela would be watching, he was not about to ask Hod if they could arrange one for him.
"Yes, that's the hope at least." Hod said with a slightly nervous look. "I'm not sure if the employees will like my new program or if it'll even prove to be helpful, but…"
Whatever else she was going to say, it got interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by it opening. A clerk, if he had to guess, wearing an orange wool blazer with black pockets and black pants. She was a short woman with blonde hair done up in a bob.
"Miss Hod, are you busy right now?" The clerk asked.
"Oh I'm sorry, I'll be with you in a moment, Tiffany!" Hod said and turned to look at him, but was surprised to see him gesturing at the clerk and letting her go.
After a moment of hesitation, she nodded and went closer to the door. He didn't really mean to eavesdrop, but with the lack of activity and how loud the clerk was, it was rather hard not to listen in to most of it.
"Thank you Miss Hod, I feel so much better after talking to you! I'm finally free from all those horrible thoughts that were haunting me every morning."
"No, don't even mention it, Tiffany! It was all you. You had the courage to bare your heart and that's what really mattered in the end!" Hod said happily, grabbing one of the clerk's hands. "I just showed you where to start."
To bare one's heart…
He couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret as she'd said that. It often was a difficult thing, and he was well aware of that fact. It was something he was starting to feel like he needed. Not even just wanted, needed. It was something that was less growing within him and more festering, the longer it went on without being done.
"I'd probably have already hung myself by now if it wasn't for you!"
The words immediately snapped him out of the thought and he looked at the pair.
"Anyway, Miss Hod, you really did save my life. I'm so fortunate to have you as my Sephirah! You're a really, really good person!"
Hod put her hands on her chest, overcome with joy. She didn't notice the somewhat glassy look on the employee's eyes or the slightly red tint to them. Something was making him feel extremely ill at ease and…
"Thank you, Tiffany!" Hod said, looking like she was about to cry. "I'm so glad to see you getting better. I heard you'll be transferring to a different team soon, I hope you'll do well there! Please, make sure not to forget all the conversations we had."
"Of course I won't!" Tiffany said and bid her goodbye
At no point did she seem to realize that Alphonse was there.
"Do you see that, manager!?" Hod said, full of enthusiasm. "My program's really working!"
"Y-yeah." He said, looking away. "It's honestly amazing. Good job, Hod."
Hod seemed to take his bold-faced lie at face value, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes with a smile.
"I want to be as helpful a person as I can be here." She said content. "Because the harder I try…the more lives I can save."
"Let's both do our best together then, Hod." He patted her on the shoulder and passed her by. "The workday's starting any minute now, so I gotta go. Catch you later!"
"Catch you later!" She parroted at him with a big smile, waving him goodbye as he walked out of the room.
Once he reached the elevator, he waited for it to close up and didn't push any buttons. He slammed a closed fist against the wall and let out a shuddering breath.
Something was wrong there. Deeply wrong. He could only guess but if he knew more he'd be able to tell what exactly, yet although he couldn't…
He could already pin it down. Hod wasn't actually helping anything and in this place, the way things were…she was looking like a fool for thinking she was.
And it angered him. It was something deeply upsetting to him, because…
"Is that what I look like?"
The woman in the mirror nodded her head.
Chapter 17: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.4 ~
Notes:
As there's been more than a few comments regarding the matter, I'm coming out and clarifying:
No, that isn't Carmen on the final line of the previous chapter. There's not even a literal mirror, it's just a metaphor. Al is comparing himself and Hod.
Chapter Text
There was more hubbub in the mess hall than usual, around the table where he hung out, and as it turned out, it was not exactly out of nowhere. Alphonse himself was still a little taken off guard.
"I mean…what do you want me to say?" Isabel remarked, scratching at the back of her head. "I…read up on this in the agent work manual, but I never thought it'd be like this."
"I didn't get told any of this shit, period." Alphonse said and he couldn't help but keep his gaze locked on her head. "Damn near gave me a heart attack when I saw that."
The thing in question that grabbed his attention and that of pretty much every agent in the room to some degree was a new feature that set her apart from every other employee in the facility. A pair of sheep horns growing on her head, right above her ears and curving up.
"Damn near gave me a heart attack when you told me about them!" Isabel remarked as she looked down at her plate with a slightly glum expression. "It was almost like they'd always been there all along, I didn't even realize. Thank goodness it happened so close to the end of the workday, I'm not sure how I'd have handled it otherwise."
"Well…at least it makes you look cute?" One employee called out from the sidelines. "I think there's a subset of people into horns and-"
"Ew! No! They're weirdos!" Isabel shot back at whoever said that. "They're the same kind who spend way too much time looking at pictures on the net and saying things about handlebars! Gross!"
Alphonse would have choked on water had he been drinking, but since he wasn't he just threw his head back and started chortling.
"There there, at least you're outspoken enough that they'll know you will judge them for their sins and for their browsing history." Alphonse waved a hand while trying to keep his laughter down.
As it died down, he shook his head. That was the first honest laugh he'd had in this godforsaken place wasn't it?
His mood didn't sour due to the realization, fortunately, while Isabel just groaned.
'Would rather not have known that there are those kinds of degenerates." She grouched and sighed. "Still, I didn't really think that these…E.G.O Gifts would be this intrusive. You think this is going to cause me trouble whenever I go out on the street?"
"...there'll be some glances, but I think you can live comfortably." Yum-Yum spoke up while looking at the girl's horns. "I mean, if you started growing a fleece and hooves, then you'd probably get treated like one of the old G Corp's soldiers…"
"As I understand it…" Arang took a moment as he looked at Isabel. "R Crop has…some of its forces undergo a procedure to graft antlers onto their heads. The Reindeer Team I believe was their name."
"Ah, well…I guess I'll live, then." Isabel remarked as she rubbed her fingers against the tip of her horns. "As long as they don't start growing and curving inwards, into my face."
There were a few grimaces and winces but the mood didn't otherwise drop.
After deeming Arang fit to take over for Isabel in the Information Team as the veteran agent who had enough experience to take on their resident HE Abnormality, he decided to transfer her to the Safety Team. She had enough of a handle on things to deal with that insidious little sheep. He had considered doing the same with the Training team, putting Yum-Yum there as the senior agent in charge, but he ended up not doing that; there wasn't that much of a point, given they'd ended up with Matchstick there and it was hard to fuck up work with her.
But still, what really drew the eye was the incident. As they had their lunch break and the crowd thinned, he couldn't help but steal glances at Isabel and her horns…E.G.O Gifts…E.G.O…what even was that?
"Boss, you're making me a little uncomfortable here…" Isabel said as she glanced at him with a grimace.
"Sorry, it's just…" Alphonse sighed and looked away. "What even is up with E.G.O Gifts, weapons and suits? I mean, I understand that they all come from the Abnormalities, but other than that…"
"It strikes me as odd how little you seem to know about them." Arang remarked with a raised brow. "Have you truly not been given any sort of explanation on the matter?"
"Nada. None. Nothing." He said as he looked over at the agent, crossing his arms. "It drives me up a wall to be kept in the dark about things that are apparently commonly known to the employees and so does getting jumpscared by that information becoming relevant out of nowhere."
"I see…at this rate…" Arang seemed to think about the matter, then shook his head, "No, I was thinking about perhaps lending you my copy of the employee handbook, but the way things are, this entire thing must be deliberate; you'll have to forgive me for being reluctant to give it to you."
"Forgiven, and frankly, it only figures…" Alphonse remarked with a grumble. "Although…what's it even like, using E.G.O? And having a Gift?"
"Using E.G.O's like…" Yum-Yum spoke up, stopping and looking off to the side with a pensive expression for a while.
The other employees didn't really say anything either, but fortunately, the man just rolled his hand and then leaned closer.
"So you know how I told you about my brother being a Fixer, yeah?" The man said, looking at Alphonse as he nodded. "Well, he taught me a thing or two about fighting. Nothing exhaustive, mind you, he didn't want me getting in that line of work, but enough to take care of myself and get an opening to run away if trouble came around."
Yum-Yum looked between the other two agents and asked. "Neither of you get mixed up with a rough crowd? Did any sort of fighting?"
"I mean, I didn't join a Syndicate or anything, but I've had to fight off Rats a couple times." Isabel said as she tilted her head.
"I took some martial arts classes when I was twelve from some guy who said he was in the Liu Association." Arang answered with a raised brow. "That's nowhere close to what you're talking about."
"Yeah. Also that guy was definitely a phony." Yum-Yum remarked with a roll of his eyes. "Still, I think this does get the point I wanted to get across, none of us are, like...actually good at fighting. No offense, you guys, but I think you'd flunk the Fixer certification exams."
While Arang was agreeing with that and Isabel was grouching and complaining, Alphonse was just struck with a thought.
"Wait, but…how're you dealing with Suppressions, then?" He asked, kind of stunned by what Yum-Yum was putting forward. "Mind you, I'm not actually allowed to see how that looks properly, but still…"
"You caught on; that's what I wanted to get at." Yum-Yum nodded once. "E.G.O is how amateurs like us can fight. I don't know how it works, but the second we get our hands on them…we just know how we're supposed to use the weapons, how to properly fight to the best of our abilities, how to not stumble around, how…everything is supposed to be. I guess."
"What, just…" Alphonse snapped his fingers. "Like that?"
"Yeah," Yum-Yum mimicked the motion. "Like that. More so with the weapons than with the suits, but...yeah, it just works out like that. The handbook doesn't say anything more about how it functions, just that it does."
"Yeah, that's fair…" Alphonse sighed. "Still…what about Gifts? What's the handbook say?"
"Not that much, either," Isabel remarked with a shrug. "It says that there are…things that the Abnormalities can give us, which can have positive effects on us, just like that. Doesn't elaborate on what effects, doesn't say anything about any criteria, it's just…I guess an occupational hazard that we didn't get told about…" Isabel trailed off for a moment, looking aside. "Is it a hazard if they're supposed to be good though…?" She grumbled right after. "Gah, it's a hazard. No one ever told me I could just grow horns working here."
"It wasn't said in the handbook not even by implication with dodgy language." Arang noted, crossing his arms. "As a matter of fact, the way it was phrased, it implied that all of them were accessories; the handbook mentions that there are Gifts like masks, brooches and glasses, and that…while they may be removed for convenience, there's something of a compulsion to keep them on your person at all times. Nothing about anything altering your body this much."
"Eugh, like…don't get me wrong, it is what it is, but if I end up growing a devil tail and wings or anything of the sort, I'll sue. I swear I'll sue!"
While the agents talked amongst themselves, jokingly bringing up the viability of suing Lobotomy Corporation, Alphonse was just left thinking about the conversation.
Gifts…they could just be given completely unprompted and could do something, much like E.G.O, then. What qualified as an E.G.O Gift? His mind went to the recent past.
Alone, surrounded by corpses in the dark, one shambled closer to him, smelling of ash dust, a flame behind it. She placed something on the floor…
"This is my last match."
Was that an E.G.O Gift? It seemed about right. That moment, when he struck the match alight…it was full of warmth and melancholy. It did something to him, having used it up.
But, of course, it wasn't like he still had it. It didn't go with him when time looped back around, he hadn't gone looking or anything, but if there was some kind of compulsion involved with Gifts, he wouldn't have been able to part with with it during his showers or at night or he would have just gotten a feeling, he guessed. But there was none of that.
He wondered, just what exactly were Abnormalities? How did E.G.O get created? He thought that it could be related to the minds of Abnormalities, somehow, what with the name, but…
"What does E.G.O even stand for?" He murmured.
"Extermination of Geometrical Organ."
Alphonse blinked, realizing that he'd been a bit too wrapped up in his own head. He looked up and between the three agents, but it didn't seem like any of them had said it. As a matter of fact, they were looking behind him.
And so he turned to see someone behind him. Actually, he seemed a little familiar. Silver hair, green eyes, rather soft features. He wasn't an agent and didn't quite look the part of a clerk, either, he looked more like a researcher, wearing dark gray pants, a gray dress shirt, a red tie and a white labcoat. Something just clicked after a moment, wasn't he the guy who had been staring at him on the first day at the mess hall?
Although caught on the spot, with all attention on him, the man nodded with nary a flinch.
"According to all official records, that is what E.G.O stands for." The man said, his voice soft and boyish, more or less matching what he expected. "I'm given to understand the term has been around for almost as long as the Corporation itself."
"I…see…" Alphonse remarked, slowly looking into his hands. "Extermination of Geometrical Organ…"
He muttered the words a couple of times. On one hand, that kind of threw his theory to the wayside. On the other…that name was…
"That's such a goddamn stupid name." He said aloud.
The employees, along with the silver haired man, looked at him for a moment. The silence was broken by him, however, as he started laughing lightly, followed by the agents.
"I'm not sure what to tell you, I am just a researcher." The man said with a smile as he shrugged his shoulders. "I just happened to overhear you and felt the need to interject."
"Fair is fair is fair." Alphonse sighed, shaking his head. "Anyways, I didn't catch your name, who are you?"
The man laughed with some slight nervousness and shook his head. "I'm employee R-027. Don't mind me, manager. I was simply passing through." he nodded with a smile and bowed slightly. "If you'll excuse me…"
The man left as suddenly as he'd come in. That was a little weird, but at least that answered his question.
Chapter 18: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.5 ~
Chapter Text
The next day, Alphonse walked into his office once more, seeing Angela there. He wouldn't say it was a pleasure, but he still nodded and greeted her, if only to keep the worn veneer of civility between the two of them.
"Good morning, manager." Angela nodded. "You have a meeting with Hod today. I would advise going there now."
He crossed his arms and nodded. He felt rather irked, just looking at her at this point…and yet it also made him glad to see her. Her conspicuous absences were becoming a trend that was starting to worry him, he didn't know what she was doing at those times and he was getting too tired dealing with everything he could see to start worrying about whatever she might have been cooking behind the scenes.
The two departed with barely a word to each other. As they descended through the elevator, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Please, be kind to her"
The words rattled around his skull for a while. In their wake, they left an unpleasantly bitter taste in his mouth. As they left the elevator and Angela took point, he finally allowed his face to twist into a grimace. Had he been able to see it, he might have noticed how little anger there was on it.
He was flipflopping, he knew. In regards to Angela, that was. Sometimes, he felt sad that things had just shaken out the way they did, while in others he was more than happy to stew in his anger. Neither end of that emotional spectrum was particularly pleasant to him.
He had known her, at least as she was right now, for less than a month, and yet she was already making him feel like raw sores and boils, bothering him so much, but knowing all too well that he shouldn't scratch and pop them.
And with things as they were, he could hardly get distracted with friends from the internet, videogames, hobbies, studies or anything. He would always inevitably end with long stretches of time where all he had were his own thoughts. More and more of which centered around the facility, around himself and around Angela.
Things were moving forward, somehow. He had no direction and only a faint idea of what he was supposed to do, one he wasn't even sure about, and a toxic, dysfunctional relationship with one of the only people who had any idea of what was going on.
If this was what things were meant to be like in this place, then it was a downright putrid way of carrying on. Something had to give, something had to change…
"What is it?" Angela turned her head to look at him in disdain.
He grumbled.
"Nothing at all. Just some idle thoughts." Alphonse replied, and just as he saw Angela furrow her brow, he continued. "And yes, that is something I 'should not be doing as the manager'" he said the last part with a grating voice, then huffed, "you can spare us both the lecture."
"Then do not do it." Angela retorted with a slow, deliberate tone that made it seem as though the words 'you absolute troglodyte' were implicitly included at the end.
Yes, he did not feel good about the situation. But just because that was the case didn't mean there was an impetus to change immediately. It wasn't the first time he'd visited the topic, and he was sure he'd revisit it a few more times still.
Something had to give…but when would it?
The two of them stepped out of the elevator, and shortly after, Angela came to a sudden stop.
"Pardon me, it seems I have some matters to attend to." Angela said, glancing towards him. "Surely your memory is at least good enough to remember where the Training team is located, yes?"
"Surely yours isn't so terrible that you'd forget I was perfectly capable of finding my way without you in the first place, yes?" Alphonse shot back, and judging from the way she stiffened up and scowled, that particular dig actually seemed to irk her more than other backhanded comments he'd thrown her way. He shook his head and simply finished by saying, "Just go."
She compiled with a scowl, all too happy to get him out of her sight.
Angela had always loathed these parts of the script.
Remain at X's side during meetings, but say nothing unless the script calls for it. Be out of the room certain given variables like the day and which particular meeting it is. Spur the Sephirah just so, and allow X to react or to not react as indicated.
It was quite the fastidious thing. She could deal with it regardless, she had learned how to be just as fastidious herself, all as the script demanded.
The manager as he was at the moment made that a lot more frustrating, and yet it made her so much more glad whenever she had to part ways with him. She would have to face him again eventually, but any reprieve was welcome.
Netzach waved her away dismissively despite their positions while the Safety Team's clerks cleaned up and put the body out of sight. He was getting a little bit more abrasive than usual, but it was nothing to worry about. Instead, she wondered what words to pick when she went back to the Training Department to lambast Hod's program. Her usual spiel would work, but with the manager's persistent memory…perhaps she should make a point to emphasize the fact that there was nothing that could be done about Tiffany from the start? She would rather not deal with him uselessly trying to 'save' her or anything of the sort…
She scowled. She hadn't wanted to, and yet she still had to think of him and account for what he'd do. Of course she would; everything about the script always gravitated towards him in the end. She'd always end up like that, having to direct and guide things towards him, cast his gaze to wherever his will had demanded and allow him to try again and again, as many times as it took for him to reach that impossible result.
How could she not take her mind off of him, when…
She didn't allow the train of thought to keep on its course. She had plenty of time to herself in the interim between going between Safety and Training, at least within the confines of her sluggish perception of time, but she was better served thinking of her work instead
The manager and Hod were talking about unimportant things. Hod of course had been quick to take the conversation towards how good she was feeling about herself and how much help she was providing to the employees, not knowing what happened recently. It would have made her laugh, had she not already long since exhaustively known everything about the facility and events taking place in it.
The manager seemed rather uncomfortable, somehow. She wasn't quite sure why; she'd expected him to be more on board with Hod's little pet project and buy into her half-baked, easily exploitable program. Regardless, it didn't matter, as she entered the room and approached.
"I see you've kept yourself busy, Hod." Angela cut in, and both the manager and the Sephirah turned to face her. Hod was entirely too happy to look at her and smile.
"Ah, Lady Angela! Are you talking about my counseling program?" Hod replied cheerfully. The antenna on her head bobbing up and down. "Thank you, it's been going amazingly! I've been able to-"
"Shut it down immediately." Angela cut her off. She almost closed her eyes out of habit, but didn't, just to be able to gauge the manager's reaction as he remained where he was off to the side.
His lips were flatly sealed and she could not tell if he was annoyed. It was an intriguing non-reaction.
"B-but why?" Hod said in complete shock. "I've been helping the employees…I even heard it from them…"
"Help them? If you sincerely think that, then you're just delusional, Hod." Angela spoke up, having decided to be a little bit more scathing than usual. "Or do you truly believe something as ridiculous as a slapdash counseling program where you force people to talk about their issues is all of a sudden going to make them feel better about working here?"
"But what about Tiffany!?" Hod yelled out, even as she started to step back, her feet starting to screech against the floor. "You- you don't- You can't just stop the program like this! The employees need me! Tiffany said that my program helped her cope with her stress!"
"Tiffany? Tiffany Brown?" Angela scoffed, turning away whilst. "Ah, yes, she took your counseling program while receiving training to be transferred to the Safety Team, didn't she? Did you know she was suffering from bipolar disorder and addicted to Enkephalin even before joining the company?"
"I…she was…?" Hod was shocked still, while the manager's face twisted.
"I wonder, what exactly did she tell you?" Angela glanced at Hod with a lidded gaze, then ever so slightly slightly pitched up her voice while bringing her hands together. "'Oh, Miss Hod! You've been such a great help! I've only been able to get this far thanks to you! I think I'm doing alright, but do you think you could prescribe a little bit more Enkephalin to help me ease my melancholy? It's just a little extra, of course…'"
She allowed her hands to drop as she turned fully to stare at the Sephirah, who was starting to cower back against a wall.
"Her mental corruption was logged at peaks higher than ninety percent before she killed herself and terminated her contract with the company." Angela stared at Hod judgingly. "Why would I not shut down your program when you started prescribing drugs to our employees and handing them out like they were candy?"
Hod could do nothing but look like a cornered animal, unable to so much as speak. She turned to look at the manager for any kind of support, but he just stared at the floor, slightly angry.
"And don't even get me started on the surplus you gave Netzach." Angela added for good measure. "I temporarily gave you access to Enkephalin for this little distraction of yours and all you've done is help feed his addiction and allow him to give out doses to his employees. It's no wonder Tiffany used what you gave her and what Netzach acquired from you to overdose."
"No!" Hod yelled out. "Netzach told me he wanted to introduce the program to his team! He-"
"And look at you being played for an absolute fool. He had a history of drug abuse and yet you thought he was being sincere?" Angela shot back as she cut Hod off.
The Sephirah had nothing else to say, she had been utterly demoralized by her words. It wasn't hard, Angela had plenty of experience in destroying her spirit.
As she was about to finish off the conversation, however, she stopped herself. She had very quickly realized something was wrong when she heard a footstep. Going over the camera feeds whilst about to say the next word, she immediately saw the manager had taken a step. Rewinding further, she could see the moment things changed, when she mentioned Netzach and especially when she talked about Tiffany's overdose.
His expression changed to a rictus of unadulterated rage. It was intense, enough to catch the words in her throat.
He continued to move forward. While she turned around, he walked and completely disregarded the current situation with Hod.
"What are you doing, manager?" She couldn't help but ask, slightly numb. The anger on his face caused her to freeze up.
"I'm going to go beat the shit out of Netzach."
That was the only answer he gave before the door shut behind him.
Angela was completely caught off guard, so much that she stood motionless for what would be entire seconds to others, yet was much longer for her. When she found her bearings she opened the door and started to follow him. He wasn't supposed to do that, he should have stayed there and just…
It wasn't quite something that directly contradicted the script, it was just that he'd never had such a strong reaction.
"Manager, what do you think you're-?" She asked but got cut off by him.
"I already told you what I'm damn well about to do. Next question." He brusquely replied, and Angela couldn't help but let anger bubble and boil within herself as well.
"Why are you doing this, then?" She asked, frustrated as she tried to catch up with him, only to see him pick up the pace. "Surely you know the faults with Hod's idiotic program lie entirely with herself."
"This isn't about Hod. I knew her program was some sketchy shit the second I laid eyes on the result." He replied angrily. A couple of the Information Team's clerks immediately spotted them and cleared the way while he stormed off. "I am just going to throttle Netzach for taking advantage of it."
"Are you defending her somehow? What even is the use of that!?" She angrily shot back. "She has made her mistakes and-"
"Fine! Let me rephrase that, then!" He growled out. "I'm going to fight that son of a bitch because I've had it up to here with his attitude! It's not about how Hod believed him like a total dumbass, it's about him getting more drugs and spreading that shit around. I don't give a damn what you tell me I should and shouldn't do, I'm going to tear him a new one for this."
She was still trying to catch up to him, yet couldn't, both logically and physically. Of course, she was more than capable of doing so, and yet, something was stopping her from exerting all that she had to muster to do so.
"Manager, do not physically engage the Sephirah!" She said while they went past another hallway, almost about to reach the department. "Your perception of them is-"
"Oh, of course, that goes without saying. I'm not stupid enough to have my plan be to punch a solid metal box." He said while still heading forward. "But who knows? I might if he tells me something that really pisses me off in the moment. If you think I can't restrain myself, then go ahead and grab my arm before I slug him in the face. But I'm not letting you get in my way. Not for this."
The door to the Safety Team department opened and he stepped in. She…she wanted to restrain him. She could. She could have done so before they even reached the room. All she had to do was lock the door.
She didn't. She just didn't and did not think of it until it was too late. She was made with a perception a hundred times slower than that of normal humans, made to forever engrave everything she ever witnessed to memory with an absolute perfect recall of the events, and yet it was like she'd forgotten that she could even do that.
As the manager screamed out Netzach's name in fury while stepping in, she began to realize why. Fear. Apprehension. Such things were beyond her, she could withstand all that which would drive insane hundreds of thousands of employees, the ALEPHs, the horrors of the facility, all of that she could face and yet she was here, stuck.
Because it was him. Traumatized into assuming himself to be someone else or not, it was Ayin.
And while she could berate him, be hostile, insult him, and even stop him from killing himself whenever he lost his mind…he would always, always inspire such feelings that she could not stop him from doing as he pleased.
"NETZACH!" He screamed almost hoarsely as he stepped into the department. The clerks there and the few agents that he had at his disposal were startled by his arrival and immediate scream. Even Isabel was completely caught off guard.
Scanning the surroundings, he saw Netzach leaning against a wall, sloshing a can in his hand and holding onto his head. The second Alphonse got a bead on Sephirah, he started to walk right towards him.
"Yooooo, whassup, manager?" Netzach said while swaying side to side with a grin on his face. "Man, you look…pumped, huh? Niiiice."
"Get up." He ordered, "Get up right now!"
"Daaaamn, no need to get all up in my business, man. Make love not war? Ever heard that one?" Netzach retorted with a chuckle.
"You're not a hippie and this is not the sixties." Alphonse shot back immediately. Netzach stopped laughing and just blinked while staring blankly at nothing, trying to puzzle out what any of that meant. Alphonse didn't let him get too lost in that before he urged him again. "Get! The fuck! Up!"
Netzach got up slowly, his confusion replaced with anger.
"Where's the Enkephalin?" Alphonse immediately asked, and when Netzach started rolling his eyes at him, he raised his voice again. "Netzach! Where's the Enkephalin you got from Hod!?"
"You don't have to shout at me, sheeeeeesh" Netzach groaned and pointed to a wall where some of the rose's vines were less thick. "'s stashed behind the panel over there. What's it to you?"
He turned to look at Isabel and motioned at her to go with him. She took a breath and nodded as she followed him. When the two reached the spot, the panel on the wall was easy to identify, with only two screws loosely holding it against the wall. Opening it up revealed a couple of large, cream colored boxes with the company logo on one side and a window showing a neon green liquid inside.
Isabel was quick to catch on to the fact that he wanted them out of there and so, she helped him reach inside and carry one out. It was pretty heavy, all things considered, but…no, it was about right. A lot of liquids were a lot heavier than people gave them credit for, and actually, with the boxes being made of some kind of metal and being, about…half a meter wide? Yeah, no shit they were heavy.
It took Netzach a little bit to really make the mental connections that Alphonse was about to do something once they'd taken out the last box and he just loudly groaned.
"C'mon, really? What are you gonna do? Take them away?" Netzach slouched over as he started approaching.
"No." He turned to look at his longtime agent. "Isabel?"
What Netzach didn't realize was that they were standing right by a feature installed in every department, one he'd never paid much mind, but supposed made sense, given that some Abnormalities could possibly end up flooding the departments.
The sewer grates.
"Dump 'em."
Netzach paused, completely shocked, and Angela, who had remained at the door this entire time, finally found herself speaking up.
"You can't do that, manager." She said, but the words seemed weak.
"Is Enkephalin corrosive enough to cause long or short term issues with the pipes?" He asked without even looking at her and frankly, it was just rhetorical. The answer was most likely yes, in case an Enkephalin pipe burst in a hallway. When her silence all but confirmed it, he looked back at Isabel. "Dump 'em, now."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Netzach almost growled as threw his arms to the sides. "What, is this some kind of corporate power play? Are you trying to show me who's boss?"
"No, I'm here to call you the fuck out, Netzach." Alphonse said as he drew closer. "Tiffany Brown. That name ring a bell to you?"
Netzach looked off to the side, scoffing. When he did, Alphonse turned his attention back to Isabel and nodded. The agent in question started to open the box to dunk the contents onto the grate.
"I said, does that name ring a bell, Netzach!?" Alphonse asked again.
"Yeah, she's the one who killed herself. Word got around fast, didn't it?" Netzach answered, then looked past him, turning slightly, Alphonse noticed the glance was towards Angela, but that much didn't matter.
Once in front of Netzach, he glared at the man, taking a breath.
"Sure did. Anything you have to say on the matter?" Alphonse asked.
Netzach just looked at him in annoyance.
"What? What do you want me to say? Sorry my employee died?" He asked, shaking his head. "No, I've got nothing to say. I never asked for this position, so what have I done wrong? She was the one who took the Enkephalin, and that was her choice."
The Sephirah turned around and laughed. "What do you know anyways? Do you know what it's like to work here? What's it like to be having lunch with your buddy one moment and then having to clean up his brains from the walls? This place is hell. Is it wrong to try and escape from reality even if just for a moment? What's even waiting for us in the future? There's no tomorrow. No hope. Nothing."
Alphonse immediately went around the man and placed himself in front of him. Netzach grimaced and moved to turn around again.
That was the moment when Alphonse reached out and pulled his tie.
Everyone in the room let out a sound of surprise as Netzach dropped down. Despite not being anywhere close to his foot, Alphonse let out a pained grunt as he felt a sharp pain on it, but he bit down. Even Angela moved towards him, her face screwed up in an unreadable expression.
No, it was probably anger, but he was more focused on Netzach and couldn't really be bothered to check.
"You killed her, Netzach." He said, ignoring Angela as he knelt down and grabbed the man's tie once more. "She took the Enkephalin, but you're the one who gave it to her."
Netzach groaned in pain gritting his teeth. "So what, everything's all just the worthless, no good junkie's fault? What happened to you saying 'fuck it, fine. Be a half-ass'?"
"It's one thing to be a half-ass, and it's another entirely to be a horse's ass." Alphonse answered, his anger not subsiding. "You're right. I don't know what it's like to be in front of an Abnormality. I don't know what it's like to be cleaning up what's left of my friends. I don't know any of what it's like to be a ground-level employee of the company and the sort of stress that causes."
Alphonse gripped the tie harder, and when he did, he felt a sharp pain. Angela immediately grabbed his wrist, her own grasp on him feeling just as strong. He decided to stop and scoffed, letting go of the man.
"But even so…" Alphonse drew back his hand. It felt strangely wet and stung harshly. Once it was clear he wasn't going to keep throttling the man, Angela let go. "If people feel like this place is hopeless, I won't argue otherwise. I won't go and say something so careless like 'you shouldn't kill yourself, you've got so much to live for'.'"
He closed his eyes, turning his head up and letting out a breath.
"But I won't encourage it. I won't stand for it and I sure as shit am not letting you be part of the problem." Alphonse concluded. "You're not escaping, Netzach. You're just stewing in your own vomit."
Alphonse didn't look at the man as he got up and went back to the entrance of the room.
Behind him he could hear Netzach laughing. It was a sad, mournful lament.
"What did I do in the past to deserve this?" He said. "What kind of sins did I commit? I'm sorry, I repent, so whoever did this…"
The laugh continued, even as Isabel kept dumping the Enkephalin down the drain and he left the room.
It only took him a few steps after the door closed before he groaned and felt the pain in his hand and foot start intensifying. After a moment, he looked at the hand and immediately felt squeamish and let out a sharp hiss of pain as he saw numerous cuts, along with a large one that was leaking out blood. When he moved to one side he put pressure on his toes and felt a lot more pain there.
"You complete and utter imbecile." Angela said as she strode to be right beside him. "I told you not to get physical with him. What were you even thinking?"
"I wasn't." He admitted shamelessly, taking a breath. "But it had to be said."
He tried to steady himself and closed his hand to stem the bleeding a bit, but he only started feeling more pain, forcing him to hold back a scream of pain.
"I do hope it was worth every second, then." Angela said, putting his arm right over her shoulders. The motion was completely unexpected to him, enough that he forgot the pain for a moment, at least until she gripped his arm almost like a vice. "I will be taking you to the infirmary."
"Don't we have those fancy regenerators over the main room of every department?" He asked, but didn't resist otherwise..
"We are not turning them on until the start of the workday and will not use them on you unless your wounds become so severe as to impede your work." Angela retorted with a huff. "It is not supposed to be within my duties, but you'll now have to enjoy my medical skills as I pour medical alcohol over your wounds and dress them"
"You have terrible bedside manner, doctor." He shot sardonically.
She kicked his wounded foot lightly for good measure and he couldn't hold back the loud yelp of pain. Deserved this time, he admitted.
Chapter 19: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.6 ~
Chapter Text
Another day passed on, slow and droll as ever. Angela stood by as the workday approached and the manager stirred from his sleep.
This day was one she'd met many times before. At first it hurt, and the ones to follow would be even worse to her. In time, they'd grown rote and would be just a matter of course. Nothing new under the sun, as they said.
In light of yesterday's events, however…she felt rather more guarded than usual.
The intense, explosive bursts of emotion of the manager were no issue when he worthlessly directed them at the walls. Now, he was perfectly willing to throw them at a Sephirah.
She had nothing to fear. Her construction was flawless, he was a weak, fragile human, while she was a perfect automaton. An AI far superior in intellect and especially in physical matters. Had she been so inclined, she could have thrown him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes to the infirmary and he'd have been be powerless to resist.
And yet…the thought, just the possibility that he might get it into his head to so much as attempt to harm her…it gave her pause. It made her stop thinking about all else and consider what that would be like. She would be perfectly fine, she'd know. He'd more likely cut himself before even leaving a blemish upon her skin.
But the aftermath wasn't even in her mind, just the idea that he could do that to her. It made her feel…
No. She was not helpless. That would not come to pass. He had never done so, even at his most desperate, even at his absolute worst, Ayin had never raised a hand against her. All abuse he slung her way was verbal. It was painful, it continued to hurt her now and it would remain that way until the very end of her existence, but he had never done such a thing.
Yet he had never raised a hand against the Sephirah either.
She wanted to mince her words, but the script's demands were that she be unambiguous. She had no say in the matter, all she could do would be to be adaptable and mind every word she said.
The manager entered the room. It was time, but she allowed the silence to settle a while.
"Morning, Angela." he said and grunted while he walked using his heel, rather than the toes on his foot. A result of Netzach falling on top of his foot.
She didn't answer. Now wasn't the time to keep that useless civility between the two of them, not when it could very well crumple like paper in what would seem like an instant to him, yet would be far, far longer to her.
The manager sat down and she remained in place for a while. He was looking at her with his brow raised, but after a while, he just turned and started to mumble about the things that he needed to check in about before starting the workday.
She had to be careful, but she had to be direct. It was not a simple matter and she couldn't help but spend longer than she intended. The minutes passed, one by one, and soon, the time to start the workday would begin.
Angela had no choice, she had to speak. Taking a breath and keeping her expression as stoney as ever, she glanced at him.
"I wonder, manager." She began suddenly, getting him to stop and turn to stare at her. "Have you heard the news? A rodent found its way into one of our facility's restricted areas."
She did not intend to repeat the usual spiel, and yet she found herself using it regardless.
With his attention squarely on her, she couldn't help but continue. "This could be an issue. Removing the rodent should be a simple matter, but its feces and any cables they may have gnawed on could compromise our systems."
"That so?" He asked, a brow raised as he looked at her.
It was too late, she had to continue speaking.
"Indeed. One can only wonder how it even got there."
There was silence as she let the words hang. That was when the manager let out a breath.
"I'm not playing this game, Angela." He shook his head and kept working.
Angela couldn't help but glare a hole at the back of his head.
"What 'game'? I am not quite sure what you're talking about." She remarked.
"I may be a goddamn fool, but I'm not stupid. You've been at this long enough and have access to all our camera feeds besides, don't you?" He replied, barely even paying attention to her. "Between those two, you're a one-woman omniscient surveillance state. And somehow a 'rat' escaped your sight?"
She did not rise to the provocation, but she almost did when she could see a crude grin plastered on his face.
"Get to the point or not at all, Angela."
"The point, as it were, is that you've had your fun with your little dalliances with B." Angela lost her patience and spat the words at him.
He paused, but he didn't seem surprised at her words. Even though she had gone and said it that way, the manager simply took some time to think.
After the silence settled, he took a breath putting his hands together.
"Now the real question here…" he said as he turned to look at him. "Is if you know B called himself that because you've been listening in from the very start…or if you knew and you always knew because he's part of our regularly scheduled program."
She kept her silence. The only reply she gave him was the unamused stare she leveled at him. He only stoked the antipathy within her further as he nodded at her.
"So he was. I had thought as much, but I didn't want to think it was the case." He let out a sigh, crossing his arms. "Am I not even going to be allowed a single bit of privacy? Am I supposed to just let all of this happen?"
Angela opened her mouth, about to cut him off, but she stopped herself. It was no use arguing with him; as a matter of fact, engaging with him was only giving him mistaken impressions and making things worse.
But she would not correct him. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that his conversations with his 'informant' were 'private', if only because she had no way to cover the vulnerabilities which he exploited to keep her out of the way. Not that privacy would matter, given their conversations couldn't possibly be any different from the ones she'd heard time and time again.
"Allow me a word of warning, manager." Angela began to walk towards the door. He looked at her as the door opened, she looked back towards him. "Spare your words on someone who cares, even if such a person doesn't exist. Toss them carelessly again and you might end up finding out what it is truly like to have your privacy invaded."
As Angela left the room and the door closed back behind him, she couldn't help but let out a breath.
Her worries were unfounded. Dealing with him was as genuinely infuriating as it ever was, and it would likely remain so.
Next day, Alphonse woke up almost with a start. He didn't feel inclined to stay in bed, nor did he feel like doing the usual. He only really took a shower because he didn't feel like he could start the day otherwise. It was a habit ingrained into him since childhood.
After a light breakfast of two energy bars, he reached his office in record time. It was empty. Angela was not even there, nor was there a letter of some kind like last time.
He was early by an hour, he realized. He had no way to even try to prepare for the coming work day. The feeds were off and the door out into the facility proper was…not locked, apparently, but he didn't feel like testing that.
Before he could let his mind wander too far, he heard static as the company logo appeared at the edge of his vision once more.
"Can you read me?" B asked, as ever he did.
Alphonse didn't answer. It was difficult to even think about it, in light of everything.
"Hello? I'm aware you're well awake and we're both secure, for the time being." B said after a while of silence. "We do not have much time, as ever. It would be best to make the most of it."
"B, that's…" He finally managed to speak up, but he didn't manage to really follow it up.
What could he even say? He may have felt…somewhat smug, having figured out the truth, but it wasn't anything to be celebrated. The man was trapped in the timeloop, regardless of whatever position he may have had. Was even aware of the nature of the facility? What had become of him?
"I suppose you are not doing quite well. There have been no major incidents, in regards to the Abnormalities, but a lot has happened the past few days, hasn't it?" B said after a breath. "It's…understandable. I'm none too pleased that things have gone as such, either…"
"You've heard about my fight with Netzach?" He asked, if only because he had little idea of what else to say.
"Word about your encounter with…Netzach made it across the whole facility in a matter of hours." B answered, his voice wavering slightly when he mentioned the name. "It left quite an impression on a number of people. I'm given to understand you also injured yourself in the process?"
The tone was somewhat clear, there was an underlying tinge of disappointment.
"It was a whole…thing." Came Alponse's rather lame answer on the subject.
"Perhaps so." B replied immediately. "But I'd urge you to take better care of yourself, as well as not taking such impassioned action. I understand if you find his actions unpleasant, but please don't be rash when acting out against him."
It took him a bit but…something felt rather striking to Alphonse. As a matter of fact, more than that…he couldn't quite remember the specific wording during his prior conversations but, now that he thought about it, B never did never use the sort of language his employees did.
"You seem…pretty accepting of the idea of the Sephirah being people." Alphonse remarked. "Angela, too. Now that I think about it, I've never heard you call any of them an 'it' like my employees did. Is there any reason you're not racist against AI?"
"Raci-" Alphonse heard B wheeze out for a moment before he gathered himself. "I wouldn't exactly give it those connotations, but no! They're all undeserving of such prejudice, even Angela."
"Is there some kind of distinction there that I'm not aware of?" Alphonse asked, raising a brow. "I think she's gone on to say that they are lesser compared to her, but other than that…"
"That is…something we ought to discuss later, if it comes to it." B slid away from the line of questioning. "I have been building up towards something, I've found it difficult, but I'm preparing myself for it. For now, we should probably address what I've called you for?"
"Why not now, though, B?" Alphonse asked. "I get that you want to be very particular about your delivery, but it's just…"
"It's just…" B replied with a conflicted tone. "I would rather we spoke of them later and what to do about them once we are out of the woods, as it were. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not willing to speak on the matter right now."
"B…" Alphonse chose to speak up. It was in the spur of the moment, and most likely not the right choice…but he said it nonetheless. "We're not getting out of the woods. Angela knows."
B did not reply for a while. He didn't begrudge him, and as a matter of fact, Alphonse regretted even having brought that up.
"I suppose the fault is mine. I knew my methods would fail at some point, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. Unless…" B replied, taking a deep breath. "I suppose we…the TT2 Protocol is already active, isn't it?"
He'd heard Angela mention that. It was what helped the timeloop along.
"Yeah, it's too late." He answered.
B let out a breath.
"Benjamin." The man said and the voice filter dropped. "That's my name."
Wait…his voice sounded familiar
"I suppose if all is lost then…I could at least afford to be a little more candid." Benjamin continued. "How much though, I suppose can be put into question."
"Oh, you fucker! You're the one who told me what E.G.O stood for!" Alphonse finally placed the voice and made the connection. Despite almost speaking over him, Benjamin just chuckled lightly. "The cheek on you, you bastard."
Despite that, though…Alphonse couldn't help but feel like something was being cored out of him with every word they exchanged. It caused some kind of ache, deep inside him…
Like he was meeting an old friend he'd drifted from, one he meant to talk to, yet never did until the end of the world was upon them.
Benjamin sighed. So had Alphonse, exactly at the same time. From the sound of it, it was almost like the feeling was mutual to some extent.
Chapter 20: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.7 ~
Chapter Text
"Even if it's too late to do what I wished for… I would rather not cause things to fall apart for you." Benjamin said. "The great design which moves the wheel of suffering that is this facility… I'm afraid I could not understand it in full, and I might not be able to, in the end. What I do know, however, means that I ought to be careful with what I share, or else this… moment, will be crushed under the wheel."
"I understand, it's not as though I'm unaware that there's… an architect behind all of this that wants things to go just so." Alphonse shook his head. "Nothing would make sense otherwise. There's a specific way this is meant to go."
"Remarkable. I guess I should have expected you to figure as much." Benjamin said with a sigh. "But..."
He seemed to hesitate, unsure of what to say.
"Perhaps… it might be best to play it close to the chest, as it were. To only say what I meant to tell you, when I first started this call." The man eventually settled on his words. "But I think you might still be able to glean a lot out of it. I may not know the exact particulars, but I know that as long as it is you who connects the dots, the rest will follow."
"So the conditions of the timeloop are connected to what I know, or at least it is something that could influence it and send us back to square one?" Alphonse hazarded a guess.
"I expect the conditions to be stringent while also leaving room for error." Benjamin said. "Just the right amount of it for unexpected situations, while also not enough for a different result than what it seeks. If the information you gain is one you could have realistically made sense of and acquired by going along with the plan, then it only follows that it is within expectations."
It made sense, to an extent, but he wondered if the legroom could have possibly accounted for something as unexpected as his situation.
"Regardless, as for what I wished to tell you… it mostly begins with a question." Benjamin continued after a moment. "Why are you the manager? Of all people, why did the company hire you?"
"It's hard to say for sure. It definitely isn't because of some arbitrary measure of how capable I am at the job though." Alphonse said, crossing his arms. "I've had this discussion with my employees before; the position itself is rather redundant, to the point that if the personnel is sufficiently capable, the department heads might as well take over. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that there's facilities running without a manager."
"I couldn't tell you if the last part is true, but you are correct, our 'managers' are exploited by the company just as much as any other employee." Benjamin answered, sounding dejected. "The job of the managers in other branches is… to be scapegoats, I suppose. Someone to put all evils upon, should the worst come to pass. That isn't to say that the rest of the employees are free of retribution, but when it comes time to explain who is to blame to one's investors and business partners…"
"It's easiest to put the blame on this one, singular person, rather than Lobotomy Corporation as a whole." Alphonse concluded quickly enough. "And so you deal with them, hire a more 'competent' manager, and we go back to business as usual."
"Business as usual, yes. That is what this is in the City. It's not that strange for this or any other company to pull the wool over people's eyes, fill their ears with lies and say that they are remarkable and resourceful." Benjamin bitterly remarked. "On our end, it's not unusual for the hiring requirements of managers to be lower than those of other employees."
"That's messed up, but I understand. I'm disappointed, but hardly surprised the truth is something so goddamn cutthroat." Alphonse remarked. "But what even are the requirements to be hired by Lobotomy Corporation?"
"Now that, I don't know if I can share, but it's all in the company's interests." Benjamin replied. "Everyone is desperate to join a Wing, and every Wing is more than it appears to be, but… the proverbial rabbit hole of this company runs much deeper than one might expect. You in particular were not hired because you were a 'remarkable person'."
"But all the same, I was 'hired' for a reason, wasn't I?" Alphonse asked, though it was more to probe than to find anything. "It's not because of any arbitrary measure of my aptitude, but because of who 'the manager of Lobotomy Corporation's headquarters' is supposed to be. And whoever they are…they've got history with Lobotomy Corporation, and with you."
Benjamin didn't respond to that, though it didn't surprise Alphonse. It wasn't hard to guess that there was something there, there was a certain warmth to the man that didn't quite seem like the sort you'd give a perfect stranger. People could be courteous and friendly, but if one approached someone they didn't know in a way like Benjamin did to him, that would likely draw more suspicion than anything.
"That is perhaps the crux of this matter. Our history. Our sins." Benjamin spoke mournfully. "There was a time everyone worked together to reach one perfect, singular goal. It wasn't that long ago, and yet it feels like it was a lifetime ago. Back then…" The man stopped to take a breath, and his voice was full of remorse. "Those were the brightest moments of my life, but they couldn't last forever. We broke apart, we lost our integrity along the way and then things… things just went downhill from there."
Benjamin took a moment to breathe, and Alphonse did the same. It took him a bit to realize his unharmed hand was over his chest. Something just felt…gone. There was a hollow inside him, and he didn't know where that feeling was coming from.
And yet…
"I'm not… him, Benjamin." Alphonse said, even as he felt that unbearable sense of familiarity and kinship. "I've never been him. I'll never be him."
"I know."
Alphonse blinked. That…
"That's always been part of it all." Benjamin, having taken a moment, continued, "The… architect of this plan, he knew that the person you once were would never be able to achieve this, not as he was, a blank canvas was better than painting that was rescued from a fire with countless imperfections marring its surface."
"Then… why?" He couldn't stop himself from asking. Alphonse was rather baffled, enough that he couldn't even really correct the misunderstanding about what he truly meant when he said he wasn't him
"I've… always known that I couldn't have him back. He's gone. But that didn't mean that I couldn't at least right some of the wrongs I committed." Benjamin answered. "That I couldn't at least try to make up for my cowardice. I should have… I should have done so many things other than what I did; but we are past the point of no return, all that's left now…"
The man took a moment to himself.
"It… it feels silly to say it out loud, when I don't even know how long this has been going on for." Benjamin said. "But the only thing I can do is hope that this is 'it'. That this time, finally, you will be able to put an end to this cycle, however long it may have taken us to get here."
"Do you think I can do that as I am?" Alphonse asked.
He'd already made a bunch of mistakes. He wasn't perfect and he wasn't… bad in the sort of ways that he was expected to be, either. Frankly he had little faith in himself, and the one advantage he had over the original manager could easily crush him under countless failures that would surely come and haunt him.
"I think… at this point, the only thing I can do is have faith in you." Benjamin replied. "This was not what I wanted for you, or for me, or for any of us… but in the end, I think it couldn't have gone any other way."
Benjamin took a deep breath.
"Yes. I think you will manage it. No matter how impossible it may seem, I know you will not waver, and I know you will make it to the end, no matter what. No matter how foolish or unlikely anyone may think it is. Including you." Benjamin spoke with high-absolute conviction. "'Ālea iacta est'. We have crossed the Rubicon already. If we cannot stop… then we can only move forward."
Those words were meant for someone else entirely. Not for him, who had dragged his feet in such a way and was still in the muck of it all. In spite of all that though, the words felt galvanizing, like a call to action, they made him feel as though, in spite of it all… maybe Benjamin had the right idea, maybe he could see the end of it all, and possibly sock whoever made this hell in the face.
Yet at the same time, there was a detail that he found distracting. An unimportant, little thing that didn't matter to their conversation. A speck in the grand scheme of things but still something that would start to dig into him if he didn't go without addressing.
"And so, Sisyphus puts his hands, calloused and worn down, upon the boulder." Alphonse narrated, quoting nothing in particular, but knowing the myth well enough. "And thus, he continues to push the boulder up the hill, ever onward."
"Perhaps he is…" Benjamin remarked, slightly sad. "Yet I'm sure, given time the boulder and the hill both may yet be conquered, and he will not see it roll back down, ever again."
He understood what he meant. He knew the myth of Sisyphus, he used an idiom that was just too specific, crossing the Rubicon was intrinsically linked to Julius Caesar doing so. So surely-
"I have to go now." Benjamin said. "Angela may already know, but it is still best not to have this conversation drag on for too long."
"No, wait, there's still…" He tried to stop him, but Alphonse just got the feeling that it was useless to argue at this point. Instead, he just asked. "Will we get to talk again?"
"Surely. There is still… at least one more thing I have to say, even if I cannot go through with my plan." The man replied. "Until then… my friend."
Somehow the word felt like a gut punch, but even still, Alphonse replied.
"Until then, Benjamin."
The transmission ended, and Alphonse was left alone.
Angela did not return to the office that day. Alphonse wasn't about to wait for her when they had work to get done and so, he ended up throwing himself right into it.
"Yesod, I don't care if it looks safe, take every precaution with the new Abnormality."
"You speak as though we don't already do so." The Sephirah of the Information Team retorted scathingly.
"Yesod, I don't see the clerks you're sending in with full biohazard gear or at least a respirator mask." Alphonse retorted. "Normal fungi are already on some shit, I'm not taking my chances on a mushroom Abnormality."
That was the new Abnormality he'd received for the day, O-04-66. He really couldn't describe it in any way other than a creepy, huge-ass, purple and blue mushroom that took up most of the space on the containment unit.
After a little back and forth, getting nowhere, Alphonse just moved on, continuing to manage the rest of the facility to… little issue, if he had to be honest.
It was somewhat scary how in control things seemed. Compared to the early days, at least. His employees had been getting better and better. Yum-Yum had the Control Team on lock, with the other agents there being more than capable of handling their Abnormalities and the Ordeals quickly. Information was dicey thanks to the Funeral and the Meat Lantern, but Arang could handle those on his own and, in spite of the constant deaths they faced earlier, the current batch of employees was catching up with their Captain's capabilities.
Training was doing good. They had a tool, Matchstick and Crayola to deal with and, now that he had better armed employees and knew how they ticked? He had it handled. The biggest problem was to try and keep employees alive during Ordeals; the department honestly had it relatively easy, all things considered. As for Safety… he had his issues with Netzach, but at least his agents were being careful, especially since Isabel was there and herding them. The rest of the department was a goddamn mess, though, with at least two to three clerks dying daily.
There was very little he could do there at the time…
As the day kept rolling on, Yesod finally spoke up.
"We have concluded our initial analysis of the giant mushroom chunk."
Alphonse raised a brow, biting down on the urge to make a tongue in cheek comment about how they might as well call it 'The big-ass shroom'. It wasn't time for that and besides, the man seemed quite irate too. Instead he just said, "Good to know. What's the stitch?"
"To begin with, it is difficult to categorize the Abnormality's Risk Level as it has been tame overall, but if we went purely off of energy produced, we could classify it as WAW." Yesod explained, "There does not seem to be any sort of respiratory problems after being in contact with the Abnormality, nor do our employees seem to have any particular stigmata otherwise."
Alphonse was equal parts horrified and flabbergasted. That was a WAW Abnormality? The second to last category of Abnormalities? The fetus had given him way more grief, and that was a HE.
After a moment he took a breath. No, he had to stay vigilant and not even for a second think that the mushroom wouldn't fuck him over in some way.
A thought did cross his mind though. Maybe he should try sending more people to work with it regardless of the potential risk? After all, WAW E.G.O gear would be a cut above from everything he had at the moment, getting more just meant his best agents would be able to work with and Suppress Abnormalities in a safer, faster fashion.
He had to weigh his options for a while before speaking up again. "Alright. Yesod, continue observation of the mushroom and the employees who worked with it. We'll work on it in brief bursts and rotating employees."
It might be worth the risk, but he first had to know what the risk was. If the Abnormality wiped the whole department as a result of prodding it too much, then it wasn't something he'd just jump right into. Caution above all else was what he needed right now.
After 15 minutes, Isabel waved at the cameras to open comms.
"What's up, Isabel?" He asked.
"Say, boss, when am I going to work on the mushroom again?" She asked. "It's been a hot minute now and I'm getting a little bit antsy about it."
Alphonse immediately felt leery upon seeing her reaction, asking "Antsy how? Have you been wanting to work on it more and more?"
"I mean, yeah, why wouldn't I?" Isabel asked. "It's honestly pretty relaxing to be in the containment unit. Can I go back there after the next guy?"
"Have you been wearing a mask in the containment unit?" Alphonse asked
"Nooooo… should I?" She asked, dubious of him. "I mean it smells pretty good in there, it reminds me of…well its difficult to explain it. Words kind of fall short, but it's beautiful."
"Isabel, I need you to listen to me right now." Alphonse said with a clipped tone. "I need you to get to Information and talk with Yesod, alright?"
As Isabel argued against it, Alphonse quickly put Yesod on comms.
"Yesod, what symptoms have you been looking for in the employees?" The man asked. "Have you been checking emotional responses? Asking if they felt a heightened desire to work on the mushroom?"
"We have been doing our job if that is what you are asking, manager." Yesod retorted bitingly.
"Answer the damn question, Yesod." Alphonse shot back. "Did nothing of the sort stand out to you?"
"Some employees have expressed a desire to work on O-04-66 instead of other Abnormalities, but this can easily be attributed to the fact that it has not caused any problems and is relatively easy to work with." Yesod responded with annoyance.
"Check again. I am sending Isabel to-"
An alarm quickly blared, and Alphonse saw as something began to happen to the mushroom, with several pustules on its cap beginning to glow a gentle blue. Seeing Isabel turn away from the hallway of the Information Team and start heading back to Safety, he quickly contacted her
"Isabel, what are you doing?" Alphonse asked, quickly looking over the facility and seeing a few other employees start to head in the same direction.
"...calling." She said quietly. "He's calling, there's something he wants to show me."
"Isabel, whoever he is, don't listen to him!" Alphonse warned. "You're being used, don't go to the big ass mushroom!"
"Don't you dare call him that!" Isabel shot back, clutching her head as the other employees kept going towards the containment unit. "He… he's beautiful. He's not difficult to deal with like the other Abnormalities, he's not a pain in the ass, and I know he's-
"Isabel! Cut it out!" He screamed
The agent finally seemed to come to her senses, shaking her head and muttering.
As for the rest of the employees, it was too late, two of them were at the entrance of the hallway as the third came face to face with the Abnormality.
Spores blocked out the sight, but he heard disgusting squelching, squirming noises, wet sounds as something took place.
The other two employees immediately lost their minds. One was a clerk, who put his gun under his chin and fired the other an Agent who ran screaming and swinging his weapon with wild abandon.
A monstrous blue creature came out of the containment unit.
Messy. That was the only way Alphonse could describe the Suppression. There were far less losses than one could expect, with only 6 dead clerks and 3 agents, but everyone was left stressed out in the end. The... transformed employee was very hardy, and they weren't able to kill it quickly while it kill them in an instant. They had to take it slow, starting a battle of attrition that they only won because the creature wouldn't drift far from the containment unit of the mushroom.
When it was done, he took a deep breath. They were not out of the woods yet, as far as he was concerned.
"Netzach, prepare a hazmat suit for Hannah." He ordered, and when he started to hear the beginnings of a groggy sigh, he immediately capitulated and added, "do it or so help me God, I'm pouring all your beer and vodka down the same drain I sent the Enkephalin last time."
"Fine." Netzach said, grousing all the while.
Switching comms to the employee in question, he had special orders for him: being the one who had Matchstick's weapon, he had to slowly sterilize the hallway. By which Alphonse meant razing it to the ground and making sure no leftover spores could do anything to other employees. Hannah would be excused from other work for the day because of it and he said it would be downright therapeutic.
As for Isabel…
"Can I take the rest of the day off?" She asked. Her tone was a lot more drained than usual and it wasn't hard to guess why.
"I'm sending you to get checked up, but otherwise, you're free." He replied, then sighed. "We're close to meeting our quota. I'll only call if we've got an emergency."
Isabel began to depart and as she did, he just sighed and ran some quick maths on how many works he'd need to order and on which Abnormalities to get the Enkephalin he needed. More than a few, but they could handle it.
"Fucking mushroom."
That was the only thing he could really say about it and, come the end of the day, the incident would stick in his mind for a while longer
The trouble that the Abnormality, now christened 'The Little Prince' was not something he'd easily forget.
Chapter 21: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.8 ~
Notes:
Right, I don't really do this a whole lot, but I feel strongly compelled to.
Personally, I feel like Project Moon as a setting is a massive content warning in and of itself, just look at the Limbus Company Official PV and the wall of warnings on the very start. That said, as I wrote out the chapter it was clear it was going to get a whole lot more uncomfortable than it has been until now, so I actually see the need to put a warning.
So with that being said:
Content Warning: self-harm, suicide. Reader discretion is advised.
Chapter Text
Angela saw their newest Abnormality and felt nothing. It was not the first time it had been in the facility, nor would it be the last one.
Slowly, blood dripped down the hand and into the tub. On and on, the red liquid pooled into the water, but no matter how much of it fell, it didn't seem like it would stop.
T-05-51. Bloodbath.
It was an Abnormality she'd seen enough times to think nothing of it. All she felt was a silent antipathy whenever it appeared, as it always did.
But this time, there was a sense of unease she hadn't experienced before. At her side the manager just sat there. Not moving the cameras, not making any small talk with his employees, not complaining, not sighing.
He just stared at the Abnormality with a genuinely blank expression.
In prior times, X would sometimes steal glances at the tub, reaching towards it without really noticing, but otherwise not doing anything else and just moving on. When the memory synchronization was complete and it was Ayin looking upon it, he would avert his gaze and let out a pained breath. It was a fairly static Abnormality and didn't have to deal with it most of the time, he had more dangerous ones to contend with at that point anyways.
But right now, he was looking at it, unflinching, his gaze centered upon it and looking at it in rapt attention.
Each second that passed, a drop of blood landed on the waters within the tub. Each second was stretched out to one minute and forty seconds to her. Every last one of them was one he spent looking upon the Abnormality.
Drop by drop. Time passed, stretching on in a way that seemed almost infinite to her, as some unseen tension seemed to build up.
Three hundred drops. Five minutes to him. To her, thirty hundred seconds, or eight hours and twenty minutes.
Such a time passed before he even began showing some kind of sign that he would do anything, and the first thing he did was to ask a single question.
"What are Abnormalities, really?"
She did not answer. It was not something for him to know at the time, yet it also felt like he wasn't asking her.
She just remained quiet as the blood continued to drip down onto the tub. He didn't turn to look at her and he didn't do anything other than stare.
As the workday neared its start, he finally tore his eyes from it, but his demeanor for the rest of it was quiet. Even as a disaster struck, his voice did not have the heat it did prior.
Angela would have usually appreciated the silence. All she felt was a deep disquiet and a feeling that something might happen.
Angela stalked the halls of the facility, going through the most secure service areas and out of the way parts of it; the true periphery that only a few employees were aware of. The virtual hour was two in the morning and she had a job to do. The script demanded her to be present at just the right spot at just the right time, to interrupt the Manager's next conversation with 'B', followed by killing him and sending him to the Records Team to become its Sephirah.
It was ever the unpleasant thing to have to do that. Not killing Benjamin, of course. She would not shed a tear for the one person that she considered a friend, not only because she had no way to shed them, but also because she had done it enough times that the motion of firing a gun or planting a knife right through his chest or even just choking the life out of him was as natural as any other thing.
No, what was most discomforting, the one unpleasant aspect of the whole affair which she felt she'd never get used to... was the disconnection between her and the rest of the facility. The Architecture Team had created a perfect 'hole for the rat to hide in', a place ostensibly outside of her reach, where Benjamin would invariably go when he needed to speak to X. Her connection to the systems of the facility, save for the most vital, would start to become more and more spotty, until she was cut off completely from them and only regain them when she entered the room where the man lay in hiding.
She was not in control of anything. Not truly, but being able to lock every door, to gaze out of every camera, listen through every microphone, hidden or otherwise, did at least feel like she had some kind of influence, lacking as it might have been in truth. Having those senses fail her was deeply disorienting, even though she could deal with it.
Just as she squeezed through a small gap between a wall and an enkephalin gap, she detected movement of some kind, an elevator moving at that hour anyone would consider ungodly. It took her far, far too long to finally get a video feed, and if not for her sense of balance, she would have stumbled.
It was the manager, descending down into the facility. Angrily, she sent the order for the elevator to stop. If he wanted to be a fool, then he could sleep in the elevator, for all she cared.
She waited with the seconds dragging on as always… and only realized too late that the signal had failed to be received and she hadn't actually managed to impede him. She wanted to try once more, but the man was already stepping out.
Where even was he going? The dormitories? Was he so much of an absolute idiot that he'd go bother the employees at this hour?
That was wishful thinking. She knew it was wishful thinking as he began heading towards the Safety Team
She was furious and had half a mind to go back the way she came from, but she couldn't. The script measured her schedule obsessively in regards to this one event and all other permutations of it. She did not have time to get to the room where Benjamin would begin his conversation, and she did not have the time to return. She had to keep going and be in one very specific point.
Angela bit down a sound of immense exasperation and anger. Why now, of all times? If he died then he'd probably be broken by the method. Or maybe she'd get a fresh new X; that could be an improvement, she thought, but it was not a gamble she'd take.
Her options were limited. She could try to lock the doors, she had been trying to at least, but it seemed as though it was to no avail. She couldn't send the signal too many times, either, or else she could end up shorting them.
What could she do to stop him?
There was…one option. It was not one she had any hope in, but it was the only one she realistically had. With her awful reception, still sent the message, worded just so and with an applied external stimulus to stir him on. Looking through the camera of the particular room, she managed to confirm its arrival, even though it felt like it was doing so too late. She didn't have a choice one way or the other, it was that or simply letting things run their course.
If nothing else, she could count on the manager's enmity with Netzach to get him to move away from the Bloodbath. Failing that, Netzach could perhaps end up caught by the Abnormality, which would return them to the first day, but it was preferable to the alternative.
[hr]
Alphonse walked through the halls of the Department. He was not trying to be particularly stealthy, but it felt as though every sound he made was muted, even the usually loud opening and closing of doors. Or perhaps he just couldn't hear it. It all seemed so faded out, since yesterday morning. It was like it'd all been cut apart from what the world was.
There was a hole.
There was a hole within him, and he'd only really perceived it when he talked with Benjamin… and that morning, when he saw the tub. He could not tear his eyes from it, no matter how hard he tried, the second he did, he felt an ache inside him that threatened to tear him apart.
What are Abnormalities? He'd asked that question even as a disturbing sense of familiarity had washed over him when he looked at the bathtub, as blood dripped from the hand playing the part of shower head.
He stood outside of the containment unit, his breathing turning labored as he looked upon the bottom of the door. He had stared at the Abnormality from the cameras, and yet looking at it from the window seemed impossible, his body locked up and simply refused to do so.
Alphonse closed his eyes, failing to keep his breathing under control.
Desperately, I yanked on the doorknob. The door wouldn't budge, no matter how I turned it. I pushed, pulled and tried to force it open however I could.
I had the keys. They had been in my hand all along, and I didn't use them. I just kept trying to open the door as though I had been possessed. The truth was…I didn't want to open it, even though I felt like I was on the verge of going insane. I already knew what transpired there, I just didn't want to face it.
The lock broke first, letting me inside and allowing me to be the next one to crack open.
"'Sup."
The familiar voice suddenly snapped him out of the moment, turning slightly, he saw the vague outline of Netzach
"What do you want?" He asked brusquely.
"Just got chewed out and told to fetch you." The Sephirah replied with a snide scoff.
He didn't reply, and so there was only silence between the two of them, at least for a while. It was followed by the green haired man looking at the door and shaking his head.
"You wanted to go inside?"
Taking a deep breath, he nodded.
"A'ight."
With a clicking sound, it slid open. His head was tilted too low to really see what was inside
"Go nuts. Might be fun for you." Netzach replied. He wasn't looking, so he couldn't even tell what expression he'd put on. "Who knows, maybe she'll finally go ahead and get rid of me permanently. It's too much for her to ignore, after all."
He didn't reply, simply stepping inside the room.
I saw her there, the water was dyed red and her labcoat was full of blood. She laid there, motionless, with one hand inside the waters, and the other hanging limply out of the bathtub, I saw the crimson droplets trail along her fingertips before they fell onto the floor, slowly moving towards the drain. I knew it in that moment, her slowing breaths, along with the pattering of her life slipping out of her…those were the sounds which would follow me to Hell.
I knew our work was not one where she had any need for a utility knife. I knew that she would usually just adjust the thermostat regardless of what anyone thought, rather than bundle up with long-sleeved clothes. I knew that I should say something, after everything that happened, that I should close the distance instead of retreat inwards.
I knew it all, so why was I such a goddamn fool? Why didn't I do anything sooner?
I drew closer to the bathtub, so shocked that I couldn't so much as do anything else. I looked at her, in that awful state, I tried to look at her face and I-
I didn't have the right. Her face was lost to me, the expression she wore, then and even before, was something that I did not deserve to remember. Not after that.
My own wrists ached as I saw her there. I couldn't possibly imagine what it was like, to cut yourself open like that, the sort of willpower needed to simply tear into yourself. There was a built-in aversion in humans against such grievous self-harm, yet she had managed to cut herself all the way through.
She truly…genuinely wanted to die.
Alphonse stared at the surface of the bloody water. Even in the darkness, he could see a murky reflection.
He felt…the weight of his stay in this place, the deaths he could do nothing about, the despair everyone surely felt.
Maybe it was only natural, wanting to die when everything was so miserable. Maybe Netzach had the right idea, he had nothing to look forward to. Any plans, dreams or aspirations would just get shoved to the wayside. If he left and found his way into the City, what would await him? Lobotomy Corporation was not unique, people far more powerful and influential than him would keep everyone down, no one would do anything to change anything because that's always just been the way things were... and that was the end of that.
Life was just going to be miserable no matter what he did. He had nothing and couldn't scrounge up anything of worth either. It wasn't even going to be some kind of epic struggle or anything. He'd likely just die like a dog on the roadside. He would be done in by the most normal thing, happening to him for the most banal of reasons. He wouldn't even be able to make ends meet and just drop dead one day.
No one would help him. No one even cared about him.
He belatedly realized that a pair of pale hands had stretched out of the water, stretching out and reaching behind him. One was around the small of his back while the other was entangling itself around his shoulderblade and his neck.
Alphonse took a deep breath.
"No."
He pushed against the arm reaching higher up. He wasn't even forceful, it was just a light push, but the hand let go. Even the lower one seemed to give up, slinking back into the waters.
As the arm he pushed aside began to retreat, it cupped his cheek, a gentle touch that made him shiver slightly, but Alphonse just grabbed the hand with his own. Even through the bandages, he could feel they were cold as chilled champagne.
Slowly, the hand descended, briefly linking its fingers with his own as it pulled, weakly.
He just let out a sigh.
"No."
The hand seemed to accept the answer, letting go of him. Part of him desperately wished to reach out for the hand again as it broke contact, perhaps even to give a pull of his own.
But it was too late, as the hand sank into the overwhelming despair that had settled at the bottom of the tub.
He stood there for a good while staring at the bloody water. His wrist ached, and so did the hole inside him.
After what felt like too long, he turned around and left the containment unit. Netzach was there, but he didn't look at him. He just leaned back against the wall, putting his hands in his pockets.
"What stopped you?" Netzach asked, slowly imitating him as he brought a bottle closer to his mouth. "Thought you were thinking about it, the way you longingly stared at the containment unit."
Just before he could take a swig, Alphonse snatched the bottle and put it to his mouth. A moment after he spat out what he'd put in his mouth and coughed a couple times as he doubled over.
"Ewgh, this shit's rancid, what the fuck's wrong with you?" He said as he passed the drink back to Netzach.
Truthfully, he didn't know if it was rancid or not. He just didn't have a taste for alcohol other than some genuinely mild things that he'd get laughed at if he ordered them for a drink.
Netzach grumbled even as he took back his bottle and drank without reservation, only stopping after a couple audible gulps.
"You ever just think about offing yourself? Really mulled over it in your head?"
Netzach asked again. Of course he didn't say the same thing, but he knew the intent was the same anyway.
"Fair few times since I came here." Alphonse admitted as he put his back against the wall again, then shook his head. "It's behind me."
"Is it really?" Netzach asked, glancing at him. He didn't answer, and so Netzach just scoffed. "I'm jealous. Of you and all the employees. If you go for it, you can just commit suicide. The end. Curtain call. Roll credits. If anyone has any complaints about it, then they can shove it. What are they gonna do? Complain at your corpses?"
Netzach took a swig, letting the bottle make a pop as it left his lips.
"I don't even get that." The Sephirah remarked bitterly. "Sure, maybe I can just…get crushed into scrap by an Abnormality. That'd be fun. I wouldn't have to deal with all of this responsibility being placed on my shoulders for a while if I did. But I'm a machine, an AI. If I die, then there's always a backup."
Netzach looked at him, frustration showing plainly on his face. "It'll never end for me. It's why I can't stand looking at how you seem to keep on pushing through the pain. It's not behind you. Why are you digging in your heels? What's keeping you here?"
Alphonse thought about it. The answer came to him immediately, but he did not say it. He could not, unless he could answer the follow up.
He couldn't, not in any satisfying way. He did not have his Eureka moment. He did not arrive at a revelation that recontextualized everything and made clear the strength of his convictions.
But he had not even come across it when he was being pulled into the bloody waters either, and even then…even though that was the case, it was answer enough.
"Nothing."
Netzach angrily asked what he knew would come next.
"Nothing? Then why are you even here? Why haven't you gone through with it?"
Kicking off the wall and letting out a sigh. Alphonse answered.
"I don't want to die."
"That's it?" Netzach clammored. "That's all? That's your big thing? Just being too afraid?" Netzach also got off the wall, stomping on the ground as he did. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this…"
"No. I'm terrified of living too." Alphonse said, not seeing as Netzach turned to face him. "I don't want my life to be miserable either, and I hate knowing that it probably will be. But even still… even though it's always going to be full of pain, I think I want to live, in spite of that."
Netzach only stared at Alphonse's back as he left the room.
It took him a while to get back to his personal quarters, but he did so feeling like an entirely different person. The encounters and the visions he'd had were entirely sobering in ways he couldn't even imagine
Alphonse put a hand against his face then felt something trailing down his arm.
Blood. More bandages than before seemed to be covering his wounds, and blood seeped out of them freely, in a small, constant drip. In his mind it was clear what had happened. He could only accept it as a fact and, although perturbing, it was something which…he would have to live on with. An indelible stigma that he would bear, not proudly and not shamefully… but simply as a mark of what had transpired.
The open wound on his arm which wouldn't heal, the E.G.O gift he obtained, simply… was.
Throughout the entire night, as blood poured out endlessly, yet without causing him any true harm, his wrist ached.
Chapter 22: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.9 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse woke up, obviously drained, but perhaps less than he expected.
As he rose, he looked at the wound on his wrist. It was still very much dripping blood. It was perhaps a little alarming that he didn't feel all that agitated in the first place when he first saw the injury and even looking at it in the moment he woke up... but considering the fact that he was not feeling like he was actually dead, he just guessed that the blood was part of the E.G.O Gift and that he was not in any danger. It would probably be a pain in the ass to ask for something to recirculate his blood back into him or otherwise be permanently anemic or…
As he entertained those idle thoughts, he saw the clothes he'd carelessly tossed to the floor after his encounter. They were actually completely free of blood.
He lifted the covers and looked himself over right after, everything was all full of blood, including him, it was like he just got killed in his sleep.
Unbidden, a memory came. He didn't remember how old he was, but he was definitely a child in preschool. He'd been having a really bad nosebleed one night and hadn't wanted to bother his parents about it, but it just hadn't stopped, no matter how much he'd plugged his nose with tissues. He'd thought he was dying, because it'd been unbelievable how much blood he'd been leaking through his nose. It had been so bad and he'd been so frazzled that he'd just started praying to God to please not let him die and fell asleep while still in pleading, desperate prayer.
It had been fine of course. His stupid ass was not dying from a nosebleed, but when he woke up that day he thought it very possible, because he'd woken up and seen the bedsheets looking almost as bad as the ones of his current bed. He'd actually screamed for his parents for help because he'd been just that afraid. His brother had heard him and butted in, saying that surely he was exaggerating, only to take one step into his room, see how bad it actually was and start sputtering.
It had looked like someone got murdered on the bed back then, too. It was an incident that always stuck to his mind and which he would look back upon and have a laugh about. Strangely, even in the current circumstances, he couldn't help but laugh as he recalled that silly little moment.
Actually, it was kind of fucked that his first reaction to seeing his bedsheets completely soaked in blood because of an unhealing, permanent wound that would eternally seep out those vital fluids was just…remembering an old childhood memory and laughing.
Somehow, he didn't feel like that was dampening his amusement, however, and so he took it in stride.
"Lance of Longinus-ass wounds." Alphonse said with a shake of his head as he headed to the bathroom.
It was less amusing to try to wash himself clean but, at least for the bandages, maybe that was something he was better off asking for help with rather than trying to do on his own. Once done with the shower and usual hygiene routine, he looked at the bedsheets where the bloodstains seemed to have disappeared entirely, confirming his suspicions.
The blood just disappeared after a while. Convenient, if nothing else. He was curious about how fast the process took but he had better things to do at the moment than almost literally watching paint dry.
As he finished changing himself, he began heading towards the exit. He thought it worthwhile to get himself checked at the infirmary; of course, he expected Angela would bite his head off before anything else, but-
The sound of static and the green logo called his attention one more time.
"Benjamin, how are things?" Alphonse said as he stopped and leaned against a wall. "Everything good on your end?"
On the other end of the line, Benjamin seemed to laugh briefly.
"I'm quite alright. Everything is fine at the moment." Benjamin replied, answering brightly. "I have made up my mind, in some regards. There is so much I wish to tell you, but…I know there is only so much that I can say. Nonetheless, and I'll see to it that you hear it, no matter what."
The way he spoke felt entirely too sobering. Alphonse felt himself seize up and he couldn't stop his words from leaving him.
"You make it sound like you've made plans for your death."
As much as he felt himself recoil inward when he said it, it somehow didn't feel as bad as Benjamin's next words.
"We both know it will happen."
Alphonse looked aside towards the floor. He was well aware, the second Angela had gone on to tell him that she knew, he knew things would come to an end sooner or later.
And it hurt, it just hurt him so terribly knowing that it would be so. Things just felt like they clicked together into place when he spoke with Benjamin. He felt more at ease than he had with anyone else this entire time.
And it would end. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, but it would.
"I have already prepared myself for this. The second I stepped into the facility on that day, I knew the risk I was taking." Benjamin declared, his voice firm, yet gentle. "It's not as though I wanted to be in this situation, and admittedly…I fear for what will happen after I die, but it is something I must confront head on."
"Benjamin, I…" Alphonse struggled with his words.
"I understand it's difficult." Benjamin said, "But you must be ready, what will come in the future will surely test you in many ways, but through reaching for understanding and keeping an inquisitive spirit, you will move past most of them. The rest shall be a matter of grit and determination."
"It's still so awful." Alphonse replied. "And listening to you talk so casually about your death is a whole lot more distressing than you think, Benjamin. I can hardly think when that's what's on my mind."
"I know…" Benjamin said, sounding legitimately apologetic. "But we must move forward regardless."
"Have you any idea how hard that even is!?" He snapped at the man, "It's too easy to say we should just move on! It's-!"
Alphonse hissed in pain as he pressed down on his ever-bleeding wound.
Benjamin remained silent as he nursed the cut on his wrist, loosening and then tightening the bandage again.
"Everything I have to say, I will say." Benjamin added, sounding slightly more restrained. "So please…tell me everything you have to say, ask me everything you have to ask."
Alphonse took a moment, breathing harshly as he looked back at the door to his room.
He got off the wall, walking back towards it. There was…far too much he wanted to ask, but he would begin with one thing only.
Angela walked with a deliberate slowness to her steps. Trying to be silent with high heels was difficult, but facilitated by the cramped space, crowded by pipes and cables that deafened the noise.
The time had come. She had to step in and interrupt Benjamin. Surely the manager would be difficult following that, but it was simply something she would have to bear with.
As she approached, the voices were finally audible, yet…as she finally put together the words, they were all wrong.
The third and final truth…
Well, it is something you must learn. ...I understand that the truth hurts. It's hard for me as well… It feels like building up a sandcastle for years, only to kick it over once it's done.
She had heard them, time and time again. Those useless words and thoughts, prayers for something which would never come to pass.
She did not hear them now.
"Have you any idea how hard that even is!?" The manager's words seemed like they were reverberating in her skull. "It's too easy to say we should just move on! It's-!"
He hissed loudly, as if in pain. Had he done something stupid while she was away? It seemed very much like Netzach had managed to stop him, but even still, something was awry.
"Everything I have to say, I will say." Benjamin added, his voice soft and pleasant. "So please…tell me everything you have to say, ask me everything you have to ask."
What had happened? Just what route did their conversation take to sound so distinct and different from what it was meant to be?
Her jaw clenched and tightened as she approached.
"There's something that's been bothering me." The manager said, his voice softening. "I've tried to puzzle something out, but I think it might be best if I just go about asking a bit more directly. What year is it?"
"I'm…frankly, I couldn't tell you." Benjamin replied, slightly confused. "With the situation being what it is…"
"Right, that's the wrong question to be asking here." The manager replied, "The time before the City even existed… how much do you know about it, Benjamin?"
Angela froze. Benjamin. Not B. He said his name, plainly and simply.
Angela took her steps faster.
"I've been thinking about that, lately. Because of the Abnormalities and some other things." The manager continued as her pace quickened, feet slipping out of the useless footwear. "I have some LPs in my room. Since you can hear my voice, I guess that you could also hear them if I put them on?"
Angela moved past a bundle of loose cables, almost getting tangled up by them as Benjamin answered the question with an affirmation.
"Then, would you happen to know the composer of this one?"
The music started slowly, but as it picked up, a memory began to surface, her hands linked…
She pushed the memory down, stepping on a screw that had fallen off at some point and pulverizing it underfoot as she bounded towards the entrance of Benjamin's hiding place.
"I…it's been part of the public domain since before the City was established." Her friend answered the idle question. "The composer's name was-"
"Schubert." The manager answered.
She paused, finally right in front of the entrance to the room. Her reception to the systems within the facility were fully restored and she was left staring at him through the cameras.
In one hand, he held the blank record sleeve, his other was planted on the table as the gramophone played that piece she so utterly despised, the one she so loved.
Blood trailed down from his wrist, covered with bandages that were not the ones she placed, a wound upon him that she had not seen but knew exactly the significance of, as the red liquid poured down on the floor and settled in an unnatural way.
She was stuck there, speechless, unable to so much as move, yet slowly allowing a new fury to build up within her
"That's right. That's the composer." Benjamin said in disbelief. "Have you…are you remembering?"
The rest of the conversation cut out as she killed the connection and stepped inside the room. Benjamin turned around, looking at Angela. At first she saw some surprise on his face, tinged by sadness, but as time passed, it slowly twisted and he recoiled backwards in fear. There were no cameras in the room, so she could not tell what her own expression looked like.
"Ange-"
"What on earth did you think you were doing?" She said demandingly as she stepped towards him. "Why were you talking about such ridiculous, pointless things? There were other things you had to tell him, so why are you listening to that damned melody? What's the point of that? What is your problem!?"
Angela wasn't able to wait for his answer, she wanted it far faster than he could deliver it, and soon after backing Benjamin into a corner, she wrapped her hands against his throat.
As she strangled her one and only friend, she could hear that man in his room, the connection had stopped, yet she had access to the facility once more.
"Angela…" He spoke with a low, hateful growl…and she accepted that hate.
As Benjamin continued to struggle, he grew more and more desperate and fearful. He tried to speak but barely even managed to let out sounds similar to the syllables of her name.
The manager knew that music, he spoke of things he should not, he knew the name of his old friend.
He encountered the Bloodbath and survived. It did not make sense. It was not something he could do, it was impossible and yet he was there. But it couldn't have happened, it would not have happened under any circumstance, he would not have survived, he would have failed, he would have sunk in the pool of despair.
Benjamin was unable to let out any more sounds, yet from his flesh something began to echo and soon, he choked on air and spat blood as she crushed his windpipe.
"Angela! I know you can hear me!" Ayin hatefully growled out as he moved towards his office, turning to look at a camera as soon as he did. "Angela! Angela!"
It made no sense, but it was him. It was Ayin, it always was and would forever be him. There was no other possibility, it was impossible for him to be anyone other than Ayin.
She was breathing heavily, she realized as she absently let go of Benjamin's neck. He slid down on the wall lifelessly. Had she tried, she could have known how long she had been there, holding onto his spine after having gone through the rest of his flesh, she did not bother and just tried to slow her breaths.
She pushed aside some hair that was getting in the way of her sight. Her forehead felt wet after contact with her hand.
While Ayin continued to scream her name she covered her face with her bloody hands and breathed in and out.
"Hate me. Hate me all you want, Ayin…" She spoke to no one in particular, as her voice did not leave the room. "But it's still you who is to blame.
He could not have survived, yet he did… it was impossible but she stood there staring at the result.
But it was Ayin, it would never not be him, if he had been someone else…if she had been speaking to an entirely different person, she should have known, she should have noticed immediately. He couldn't possibly have known the things he did. She would have never spoken and done everything she did to someone completely unrelated to everything that happened.
That would have never happened. It could never happen.
Therefore, it did not happen.
The man who screamed her name in maddened fury was Ayin. It could not be anyone else, only Ayin.
Only him.
Chapter 23: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.10 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse sat at his bed. Staring blankly at the air. The sheets were stained not just with blood, but also crumbs and some oily grease.
He grabbed a granola bar, opened the package, brought it to his mouth, bit down, chewed and swallowed. He repeated the process with another.
Another. Another. Another.
It was a distraction. A lame one that didn't work for long.
So much had happened all too quickly. Too many things to think about. Benjamin being caught and most likely killed, Angela almost certainly being the one who did him in, the last conversation Benjamin and him had, the uncertainty of not knowing what the hell the man meant by making sure that what he wanted to say got told, what that might even be…
He hadn't the time to process it all in the moment before the workday arrived. Now that it was over…he didn't want to do it.
How was he supposed to in the first place? It was an unstable cocktail of emotion that he just wanted to toss down the floor rather than drink.
And no one would help him process it either way. There was only so much he could dump on his friends, the corporation as a whole didn't give a damn, and much less Angela. She hadn't even shown her face since then. That was good, he would have snapped at her on sight.
But it wasn't like doing that would change a damn thing and he knew it.
Tiredly, he moved to the walk-in closet, opening the drawers. The only thing he felt like doing was to go and turn in early for the night.
As he was grabbing his loungewear, he stopped. Distracted though he was, he was still able to notice something stark white peeking through the folds of some of the clothes there.
It took him a whole minute to work up the nerve to pull on it and find a sealed letter. Although his head was not in the right place…one of the first coherent thoughts he had was one he said out loud, just as he looked upon the words on the envelope.
"Please tell me you didn't write what's inside in fucking cursive too…"
To my good friend, Sisyphus the struggler.
From Benjamin
At least that was what Alphonse thought was written there. It was either that or the man called him names. Given their prior interactions, it was probably the former; playful ribbing and frequent insults were not part of the vibe with Benjamin, unlike with his old friends from before his arrival.
Despite the first thing he did being to make a joke of it…he was having a hard time looking at the letter in his hands. How did it even get there?
Rip the bandaid off. A part of him said. You're not ready. Another argued against. Despite himself, neither part seemed like it was quite congruent with how he was feeling at the moment. Yet there was no middle ground, he had to get it done now or dally on.
He took a deep breath, laying his back on the other side of the closet and sitting down as he opened the sealed envelope.
To my friend.
There is plenty I want to say in this letter, for the things I didn't say back then. There is a lot I wanted to lay clearly, and that I could write several letters about.
But as I wrote draft after draft, thinking about what to put to paper, I came to realize that I must show restraint. I think it's rather clear by now what you need to do in the facility, and by the end of it all, you will carry each and every one of our sins on your shoulders. To speak and add all of my regrets upon that burden would be unfair, so I won't force that upon you for my own self-satisfaction.
I will say what I think you must hear, rather than what I want. And I would like you to keep this letter, and to keep these words close to you, so you may remember them every time you must.
We were drawn together for the sake of one earnest, beautiful dream. It was enchanting, something that drove us all to break new ground and discover things beyond our imagination. We had found hope amidst the desolation of a world everyone knew was broken, but was too beat down themselves to ever think to change.
And we have made countless mistakes in pursuit of that dream. At first I thought it was fine, even as we were torn apart from those closest to us. I thought that, as long as his eyes still held on to that spark of hope, the one I saw reignited while I helped to construct Angela, everything would be fine.
That was what I thought, yet after a point, I changed my mind. I gave up. I looked upon the horrors we'd wrought, and I concluded that the dream we shared had been tarnished beyond repair. I still cannot say otherwise, I still can't look upon this facility, upon the works of the man you once were, and not be struck silent in horror.
But if by any chance things can be different, if you, the one left to clean up after us, can find the slightest sliver of light even in this hell, then I know the rest will follow. Because for all of our faults, for all of our errors, I know that our friends truly treasured us and still will, even in spite of what we've become.
You may not be the friend I once held dear, my mentor and colleague. But even still, I want you to know that in spite of that, you are not alone.
I want you to know that just like I, there are others who look up to you, even if you stumble along the way. That there's people who would shake your hand and lend an ear to you, if you allow them. You may think that these words are meant for someone you are not, but I want you to know that they are intended solely for you. I want you to know that you are loved.
And ultimately, I want you to believe that things will get better someday. And that these will not be empty platitudes, so long as you make the effort to keep moving forward.
Lobotomy Corporation is a cruel, uncaring beast, yet its slogan was decided upon out of personal relevance, rather than appeal to a customer base.
May we meet again in better circumstances, my friend.
Face the Fear. Build the Future.
Alphonse was left staring at the page, the blood on his wrist dripping on the floor as he tenderly held it to avoid staining it.
It took everything in his power to avoid crumpling up the letter by accident. When he realized holding on was going to be too difficult, he put it to one side.
He clenched his hands and curled into a ball. A choked breath passed through his bared teeth. His eyes stung as he shut them close.
And finally, in the end, he allowed himself to cry. To lament and to mourn for the loss of a friend who just seemed to offer his hand unconditionally. He didn't know, but doubted that the man ultimately figured out that he was just someone completely different from the man he was originally friends with.
Even so… Alphonse couldn't help but take in his words at face value. He couldn't help but repeat them in his mind. To try and accept them. He desperately wanted to believe that even in these hopeless circumstances…
That he was loved.
The next day, Alphonse woke early, feeling a restless, anxious energy. He finished his morning routine and found himself wandering towards the facility proper.
It was early, but not enough that he didn't see anyone. The morning shift cooks were already prepping everything in the kitchen, so while he was there, he asked for something more filling than his usual breakfast. They had been alarmed by the dripping blood from his wrist, then confused when he explained it was an E.G.O. Gift, but eventually just compiled and moved on, even going so far as to joke about the cost being to wash his own dishes and set the trays and cutlery on the service bar.
They were aghast when he actually started on the dishes and quickly did the second part before he could finish. To his credit, he at least finagled a way to get the job done without dripping blood on them. Disappearing or not, he wasn't staining them.
Eventually, he walked the halls of the facility, just milling around. He took the long way around and eventually found himself within the Information Department's main room.
It wasn't particularly abuzz with life, but people had begun to mill in and start booting up their workstations. He managed to spot Yesod there, in the middle of the room. It'd been a while since he met the man and talked with him in anything beyond a professional capacity.
Despite everything, he found himself walking towards him from behind.
"All good, Yesod?" Alphonse spoke up, only a few feet away from the man at that point. The Sephirah turned and his expression turned sour, but he quickly brought it in check.
"Manager, we weren't expecting you here." Yesod remarked with his arms crossed. Idly, he noticed the man scratching at his arm slightly with one hand, then froze when he saw the wound on his wrist.
"E.G.O Gift. Don't mind it." Alphonse answered with a shrug. " I was just passing through, that's all. There's still some time until the workday starts. I can afford to take a moment to smell the roses, as it were."
"I see." Yesod remarked with some slight annoyance, still staring at the bleeding wound, but otherwise not saying anything else.
"Anything in particular going on lately?" Alphonse asked, taking a breath. "You seem more strung up, these days."
It was hard to keep track of everything going around in the closed off world of the facility, doubly so with everything that happened recently, but the whole thing with Yesod still kind of stuck with him, especially since it'd been so long.
Yesod closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as he began walking. Alphonse followed along, especially once it was clear that the man was going towards a work cell that was mostly out of the way and left alone…the one where the clerk from the incident a while back was occupying.
"I'd hope, even with disasters of similar scale happening afterwards, that you haven't forgotten about the one where I ordered a particular clerk to be shot?" Yesod asked, one hand tracing the wall. There were bullet marks there before, but now it was like it'd never happened.
"The one involving James, yes." Alphonse answered, and Yesod immediately grimaced, clenching his hand into a fist. He was about to apologize, but the Sephirah breathed out and shook his head.
"In total, the losses sustained were three agents and ten clerks across the departments under your control at that time." Yesod said as he looked upon the workcell. "Needless to say, it was disastrous, you're well aware of just how difficult things can get with such a significant loss of manpower."
"Seats need to be filled and they will be, but by less experienced employees." Alphonse answered, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, looking at the floor. "This leads to slower responses to whatever situation may come up, which in Lobotomy Corporation, means more dead people."
Sighing, he looked at the ceiling of the room.
"This leads to more new, inexperienced hires filling more seats, leading to further problems and further deaths, unless something is done to prevent that." Alphonse added. "I'm well aware of this death spiral."
"If so, then my ordering to shoot down James should not come as a surprise." Yesod said, putting his arms behind his back. "To avoid further escalation of the situation and avoid endangering our employees further, we had to gun him down."
Yesod walked past him until his back was facing Alphonse.
"Lobotomy Corporation is not a place where work can be taken lightly. One false step can lead to the loss of multiple lives, if not every single one in the entire facility." Yesod commented, almost seeming frustrated at just having to speak. "Accidents will happen regardless. No system made by humans is truly perfect, and those of machines still have flaws, on account of the biases of the creators."
Yesod scratched at his wrist with a finger while the rest of his hand seemed to be gripping it tightly.
"That incident was not an accident. It was a mistake. A mistake on my part." Yesod admitted, his voice sounding like he was spitting out the words venomously before he reigned himself in. "I do not regret having to shoot down James, nor do I regret not being able to stop him. But I regret being careless and allowing a subordinate to exploit me like that. I could forgive 'trivial' rule violations from time to time, but the price I paid was not trivial."
The Sephirah turned around and looked Alphonse in the eye.
"I will be plain; I do not like you." Yesod said with a critical eye. "I approve of your willingness to get right down to business, and I even appreciate how meticulous you can be, when you put your mind to it. But it is all tainted by a sense of sentimentality that this facility and this company simply has no use for."
"Tainted, is it?" Alphonse said, looking right back at Yesod. "I won't lie and say I'm not a very emotion-driven guy, and I know one day, that might bite me in the ass…but are you just going to tell me that I should be cold and calculating at every second?"
"No, I am telling you to stop allowing yourself to be carried forward by emotion." Yesod retorted, calmly and without heat in his voice. "Every day, body bags are filled in this facility, and pressures will mount upon you. It is a cold, lonely place. I'm sure you will feel the urge to share your distress and anxiety, to reach out to others for warmth in this place…"
Yesod moved to cross his arms in front of him, taking a breath.
"But there is none. And if you think you have found it, then you must look at me and remember what happened on that day. I am a simple cog in the machine, if I fail, I can be replaced. You are the manager in charge of this facility, if you fail, everyone in this place, and the company as a whole, shall pay the price. Do not make my mistakes."
Alphonse stood there, looking at Yesod, thinking about his words…but they rang hollow in his ears. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The answer was already on him, he just struggled to find the words.
But in the end…he decided to let them out, even half-formed.
"You're wrong."
As Alphonse opened his eyes, he saw Yesod leveling a judgemental stare.
"I am wrong." Yesod said, almost mockingly. "What a childish answer."
"Maybe. Maybe it is." Alphonse retorted. "But I stand by it." A thought came to mind out of the blue, and it fit the situation well enough, so he spoke it out loud. "Have you ever heard about the Hedgehog's Dilemma?"
Yesod's building anger subsided at that moment out of confusion. Alphonse capitalized, putting his hands in his pockets.
"I'm the kind of nerd who saw it discussed, but never bothered to look up the original author." Alphonse shook his head with a smile as he looked aside. "It's also known as the Porcupine Dilemma. The premise is simple; a group of hedgehogs have to contend with cold weather. The easiest way to deal with it is to come close together, but by doing so, they risk hurting each other."
As Alphonse explained the metaphor, Yesod's grimace only deepened.
"You can't liken the situation to that." The Sephirah retorted.
"I will, because it's applicable. It just happens to be in the absolute extreme." Alphonse answered, shaking his head. "If you open yourself up, you're bound to leave yourself vulnerable. Maybe people will hurt your feelings, maybe they'll just use you to get what they want, but that isn't a reason to just completely shut yourself off to the world."
"Misplaced sympathy will only cloud your judgment." Yesod retorted, glaring at Alphonse all the while. "This is a corporate, high-stress environment where death is common, cheap and sudden. I don't need your amateur sociology classes."
"It's more psychology or philosophy than anything, but that's just splitting hairs at this point." Alphonse waved off with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah, this is a bleak, uncaring place, but it's because it is that way that I think it's all the more important to try and find a friend, rather than keep everyone at arm's length."
Before he even tried retorting, Yesod kept his arms crossed, yet started scratching at both his arms in that position.
"James was a friend. Never again." Yesod spat out. "I'll take my reputation as 'Yesod the Viper' and let it remain so. I won't so much as bat an eye at the deaths of dozens of employees, if that isn't enough, then I will be like Angela, a truly heartless monster."
The mention of the woman irked Alphonse plenty, but he shoved the disgust down for a moment.
Yet it was not without some irony, he felt. Angela had shown some emotion before, but in the end, that mattered little to the point at hand.
"You're speaking in future tense." Alphonse pointed out, and while Yesod was caught by the patently obvious statement, he followed with the corollary. "So between the James incident and everything else…you are not like her."
Looking back at their current conversation, Alphonse took a stab in the dark.
"Truth is, it tears you up inside just as much as it does me when someone dies here… no, even more than me, right?"
Alphonse heard the tearing of cloth, a snapping sound of some kind as one of Yesod's hands ripped the sleeve right off his suit.
He wasn't able to catch sight of Yesod's expression, he moved too quickly for him to see it.
"We have work to do here." The Sephirah growled at him. "Get out. We have better things to do than entertain you."
Wordlessly, Alphonse took a few breaths before he let out a long sigh and began walking out of the room.
Perhaps Yesod had a point. And perhaps he was being entirely too stupid about feeling the way he did, given he'd known Benjamin for only a number of days and conversations that hadn't even broken double digits…
But after losing the one rock he'd found, only for it to ground him once more from beyond the grave… he felt no shame and only the slightest tinge of doubt in his thoughts.
Chapter 24: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.11 ~
Chapter Text
Twenty days.
He had been keeping a tally, perhaps somewhat loosely. His sense of time was a bit fucked since they had work every single day of the week and he hadn't seen hair nor hide of any calendars, so he didn't know when weeks started or ended, but he still had something to fall back on; the Extraction Team didn't give him any options at the end of every fourth day, so once there was a day where he didn't receive any Abnormalities, that meant he was on a day that was a multiple of five. Easy enough to remember.
So it'd been twenty days now, even though they gave him an unexplained prompt to pick a second Abnormality; it didn't bode well, but he could do nothing about it.
Part of him was surprised he'd gotten so far with… essentially no resets. And then he remembered a discussion from a while back, when he had the one singular jump back.
Twenty seven days. Angela set that as a goal to aim towards. Part of him felt rather smug, knowing he was getting close, despite her expectations. Another dreaded the thought, unsure as to what could possibly wait for him there.
But he'd get there when he got there, and he could save any actual puffing up and celebration for when he was there. Shit could easily get dicey in a single day, and seven could see things spiral out of control. This was only more so if they were seriously going to start doubling up on Abnormalities they'd send his way.
He breathed in as he stepped into the mess hall. It was best if he took a while to get everything in order. As he grabbed his food, he went around, calling out to some of his best agents and gathering everyone around in a bunch of tables.
"Fellas, been a hot minute since we caught up," he said as he greeted Yum-Yum, Isabel and Asera with a smile, he then turned to look at the rest of the employees, who he wasn't all that familiar with. "Everyone, welcome aboard, we need to have a little bit of an impromptu meeting. Come along, come along."
While most of the employees were a bit nervous, Asera set down a large, black casket with an engraving of a many-winged butterfly upon it.
"Oh boy, that's your E.G.O Gift?" Isabel asked as she took her seat next to him. "Sheesh, do think you have to like… sleep inside it or something?"
Asera grumbled indistinctly, it was a good question, but an uncomfortable one, to some extent. Alphonse decided to take the discomfort in a completely different direction.
"Could sleep with it beside him on his bed," Alphonse said, then looked at Asera. "Don't worry, I'll figure out a way to expense a body pillow sleeve for you, just lemme know your tastes."
Asera gagged at his words, even as Isabel burst out laughing and Yum-Yum shook his head with a faint smile. As the ice broke, everyone sat down and settled in.
"Alright, so…" The manager said as he looked around at his agents. "First of all, congratulations, everyone. We've had our issues, but overall, whenever there's an incident, all of you have been quick to respond and deal with the situation in short order. Good hustle, y'all."
Most everyone nodded in agreement. With the facility being what it was and the fact that people were actively dying, it was a bit hard to feel overly jubilant, but it was still good to acknowledge their efforts and check in to see how they felt. They were at least 'alright', which was more than he could ask for, realistically.
"So as for what I'm calling you here for, it's in regards to how everyone is distributed. Given the usual trend, I think I will be given control of yet another department starting tomorrow." Alphonse explained, gesturing and accidentally splashing blood on his cutlery. He disregarded that and moved the slashed hand below the table. "Now, I'm not worried about it. I'd say we got this in the bag, but I am going to need to shift around some people."
"Damn, so am I just going to get relegated to babysitting in the new department?" Isabel asked, slightly annoyed. "I'm never gonna get promoted to captain in any team, am I?"
"'s not much, but it's honest work." Alphonse waved his free hand in the air and laughed. "And don't give me any lip, Miss First-Level-Five-agent-in-the-facility. Your paycheck's bigger than most everyone here."
Isabel chuckled lightly and with some nervousness as she scratched under one of her horns. Alphonse just shrugged and moved on. "But yeah. It's a no-brainer that Isabel will be there, but I'll also take volunteers to stand by in the next department. There's some risk involved, what with not knowing what Abnormalities we may end up dealing with, but it's at least something different, if you want to test your luck and want to break up the routine. That said, I'll leave the ball on your court there. If you want to go for it, let me know and I'll make arrangements."
Such went the conversation. Other than that, he discussed shifting the most experienced personnel around between departments to get more coverage where they needed more firepower and to give agents experience in areas where they could use more work, as well as more or less suggesting starting a workshop where agents could tell each other more about their experiences dealing with specific Abnormalities. That last one was more of a work in progress, but it was a plan.
Despite his failings… Alphonse began to feel like he was really getting the hang of things.
Angela wandered. She had no particular direction, nor a reason to be anywhere in particular. Her expression remained a tight mask of neutrality, it fell away when she found herself within the manager's… Ayin's office.
Slowly, she reached out towards the blank picture frame, picking it up with an ever so gentle touch. She could crush it, were she so inclined. Reduce it to nothing but powdered glass and sawdust just with her bare hands. As a matter of fact, if she simply gripped it without too much care, she could break it.
She didn't; that would be unbecoming of her. She did not throw tantrums. She was not a child. Yet a question did come to mind.
What was it meant for? For what purpose was it there? Ayin was the one that decided upon the presence of such an unimportant little thing. It was there without fulfilling the purpose it was built for; Ayin would not, could never allow something like a picture of Carmen upon his desk, and with his drive, there was not even a chance that he'd ever think to take a picture of himself or anything in the facility to place within the frame.
As she stared at her faint reflection in the glass, she wondered if it was meant to be used as a mirror. It made no sense. Why not use an actual mirror, rather than something like that? What was the point of that? He had been so meticulous, so tortuously thorough with everything, and yet…why was it there?
She didn't get it. She didn't get Ayin. Perhaps she never would.
Behind her, the sound of the door opening rang out, and a quick peek of the cameras was enough to tell it was him, ever so loathsome. She attempted to rein herself in as she placed the frame back on the desk. It took him only a moment to recognize that she was there, and it was downright tortuous, how she had to watch every muscle in his face twisting and contorting in order to allow his expression to change.
"And thus… you are returned." Ayin remarked with snide sarcasm as he approached her.
She only turned her head ever so slightly, just enough to allow him to figure out that she had heard him. Regardless of that signal, he continued drawing closer until he was standing right next to her.
The silence felt oppressive in the extreme. His presence there, with his arms crossed and eyes closed, was suffocating. It was made worse as he took deep, long breaths. He held himself back from lashing out at her, but it was a near thing.
And Ayin wanted her to know. She couldn't take it to mean anything else.
"So, " He eventually spoke up, opening his eyes and not directing his gaze at her. "Did you just happen to be here or was there something you had to tell me?"
Angela kept herself in check even as she turned her head to avoid keeping him in the periphery of her vision and stopped looking through the camera. She only heard him let out an exasperated sigh.
"I'm so tired of this, Angela." Ayin said with no small amount of recrimination in his tone. "Is this really what we're doing?"
Angela held her tongue. She had nothing to say to him.
"Look at me, damn you." He practically hissed at her.
Ayin immediately stepped around to be within her line of sight. His displeasure was mild, compared to what she had seen prior times, yet still struck at her all the same
"We're twenty days in, I have made some progress and we're closing in on the deadline you set." He practically demanded as he looked at her for a moment, only to avert his gaze in frustration. "And I've already got some working theories as to what the hell I'm meant to do here. Like it or not, we're going to have to talk about all of this shit, Angela."
He made a gesture with his hand but she turned her head away before his wrist came into sight. Ayin scoffed in response.
"And there we go again…" The man remarked sardonically before he raised his voice just a tad, just enough to let her know he could speak louder and would at a moment's notice. "Are you really just going to keep doing this? Just coming up to me whenever you must tell me something and getting out of sight when you don't need to? Yeah, I'm pissed off at you for plenty of reasons, and I've got a lot I'll unload given the chance, but you can only go for so long without paying the piper."
Ayin crossed his arms and shook his head.
"When are you going to look me in the eye instead of tending to this little play of yours?"
"Shut up already, you sanctimonious bastard!"
Angela could not stop the words from leaving her. The cold anger she was holding back turned into a sharp, fiery fury that didn't even abate when she saw his face, struck in the same idiotic, indolent shock that felt so insulting to everything she had done.
"Have you any idea how tiresome it is to listen to you?" Before he could even think to answer, she jabbed a finger right at his chest. Her nail barely just grazed his clothes before she stopped, but he moved away as if struck regardless and she advanced in pace with him. "'Oh, woe is me, I have no freedom, no privacy, everything in this place is so awful, you need to be more mature because I am the bigger man and we will have words'." Angela squeaked out the words mockingly with her eyes rolled up towards the ceiling and a plastic smile before staring right at him. "You are insufferable! You can't go without sighing or complaining every other minute, only to act like you're some kind of wise, faultless saint."
As Angela looked upon his face, she could see the anger, but it was mostly overridden by fear. Fear towards her, all too clear.
"At every turn, every moment, you've made a show of pretending you understand what is going on and thinking that you're getting close to figuring out some great mystery, all while always looking for some kind of answer, some confirmation because you aren't actually sure." She continued, bearing down upon the man. "You act as though you're finally figuring out the 'rules' which govern this place, but you haven't even scratched the surface; all the while you continue to despair over the deaths occurring in this place as though they were the most important thing to happen when they are not. Benjamin was nothing. As a matter of fact, you should be thankful! His face was not melted off with caustic acid, his corpse was not worn like a suit, his body was not used as a nursery and food supply while still alive and cognizant. You will see that and more, you will see entire departments burn, you will see most of your staff die horrible, painful, agonizingly drawn-out and ultimately pointless deaths, not because there's some kind of demand that they lay down their lives, but simply because of arbitrary factors outside everyone's control."
Ayin's retreat finally ended up with his back against the wall, and upon reaching that point, Angela instead pointed her finger right between his eyes.
"It's like I'm talking to a child, screaming every time they don't have their way." She glared at him, her anger barely even contained at that point. "You're just an immature imbecile. The sort who thinks that hard work and determination and believing in your dreams is all it'll take to get through life, all while only half-assing everything and calling that 'your best effort'. Someone like that won't ever change things. You can try again and again, every attempt you can always go at everything half-baked, always look after your employees and be 'empathetic' while never truly relating to them, always take the moral high-ground and put the blame on everything and everyone else when the inevitable happens, as though there was some kind of arbitrary degree of fairness that the world is obligated to follow. You can do anything. You will do everything, but none of it will matter."
Taking her nail off his face, she instead drew even closer. With her face right in front of his, their eyes were locked firmly in place. Her own, scornful and filled with nothing but contempt, and his, full of trepidation and a deep discomfort with no way to directly deny any of her words.
"I have seen what you are like and I already know just how worthless you really are. I don't care how much you think you've changed, I already know how this ends; exactly as it began, an unbreaking Möbius strip. We will be here forever. You will achieve absolutely nothing because you don't have what it takes, and you never will!"
She stood there, staring into his eyes as she waited for his answer. All she got was an unbreaking silence, he would not open his mouth to speak. He would not dare, could not.
And every second spent only served to further drive her furious. He wouldn't speak. He wouldn't tell her a thing. He wouldn't answer even when she was right in front of her and listening.
She stood up straight and turned around. She still heard nothing. She walked away and he still wouldn't speak. She left the room and audibly locked it shut, and yet he remained where he was, staring blankly at where she had been looking at him.
Slowly, with an agonizingly slow movement, she could see as he brought his bloodied hand in front of his face. It trembled slightly as he took deep breaths and attempted to slow them. As he looked down upon the floor, the bitterness was clear in his face, but he didn't speak, merely dragging himself with staggered steps toward his chair.
He did not move otherwise after taking a seat, leaning back and looking upon his own hands.
Angela stood right where she was in the corridor, locking the other end and leaning against the wall. She took a breath, deep and long.
He didn't say anything, but she could hear him make sounds of deep discomfort as his expression faltered
Angela felt like she should laugh. She felt no mirth and felt no pleasure yet she felt as though she should laugh.
Grabbing the red hair tie on her head, she pulled it free and slowly slid down from her position to the floor. Sitting there, she put her hands on her face.
"It's all your fault…" She said, so quietly that even if someone had been at her side, they wouldn't have heard her. "It's all your fault. It's all because of you that we're here in the first place."
She shed no tears, even though she desperately wanted to, and even though a human would have. She let one of her hands drop on the floor, clutching the hair tie. Angela raised her hand and hit the floor, pointlessly and fruitlessly trying to vent her frustration, anger and misery.
"It's all because of you that I am doing this, Ayin." She barely even let out the words. "You don't have the right to act like you're wounded. That's not fair."
But in this place…nothing ever was.
Chapter 25: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.12 ~
Chapter Text
You have a meeting with Netzach, followed by one with Tiphereth. Do not waste everyone's time, go.
Alphonse let out a sigh upon reading the note Angela left for him. It certainly felt more like her than the one she'd left a while back.
At least he knew how to get to the next department, he mused to himself as he went out the door. He had spared himself the trouble by asking Asera yesterday.
As the elevator's doors closed, he tried to void his mind of any thoughts. It wasn't a simple thing and ultimately, he failed. He couldn't help it, his fight with Angela was fresh on his mind.
Not any point in particular, but just the sheer intensity and wrath she brought to bear. It stuck to him, dug right into him and remained utterly upsetting.
He remembered some advice from his mother: that once he joined any workforce, he should never let anything stick to him. He had to defend himself if anyone was trying to actively bring him down, of course, but should avoid needless squabbling. If not out of kindness, then for his own sake. Shit happened, people were unreasonable. He just should move on rather than let that drag him down.
He was never good at following that advice. Furthermore, he was sure his mother never did expect him to be in a position like his current one, dealing with people who had such thorough and active loathing of everything about him.
Part of him knew he was just being a pedant about that and the words held water regardless. He was still having a hard time letting it just slide right off of him.
Angela was right to an extent. He was a half-ass, that much he agreed with. A lot of what she said he didn't really connect with. He still didn't find it in himself to disagree with most of it and that angered him. More than that, it made him falter.
Alphonse soon arrived right outside the Safety Team's main room, so he allowed himself a moment to try and compose himself. When he felt he'd managed to get his game face on, he stepped inside.
The place wasn't really abuzz with life, but clerks were hard at work and the couple agents present greeted him.
Netzach stood apart from them. It actually took Alphonse a second to realize it, but when he saw the man looking down at the floor, he realized he was standing right over the grate where he had the Enkephalin dumped on.
Nothing to it, he supposed as he walked forward. He greeted the man, but he just stood right where he was, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a bottle of beer.
After taking a breath, Alphonse stepped right at Netzach's side.
"So? What's up?" Alphonse asked. Looking at the man and mirroring his stance, if without a bottle of his own.
Netzach's eyes were locked onto the drain. The Sephirah took a swig from his bottle and remained silent for a bit before sighing.
"You ever think about how cleanup duty doesn't mess up everyone?" Netzach asked, almost absentmindedly. "Not on the slow days, I mean. On the ones where it all goes to shit, when there's blood and viscera and all sorts of bits scattered around."
Alphonse let out a strained breath, looking aside.
"It does mess everyone up." Alphonse responded. "It's deeply unpleasant."
"But you just get used to it right?" Netzach asked immediately when Alphonse paused for a second, cutting him off. "Just get on with the program, because that's just the way things are, isn't it?"
With a shake of his head, Alphonse followed Netzach's pace instead of finishing his thought. "Ultimately, yes. This shithole of a corporation doesn't care. What are you getting at?"
Netzach took another swig of his bottle, letting out a sigh right after.
"Did you know our employees all get a dose of Enkephalin as per company policy?" The Sephirah said, eyes still locked on the drain and its depths. "Not a whole lot, just a tiny little dose, just enough to take off the edge and settle down a bit. They don't have to take it, but most people do. It's like company-provided cigarettes for a smoke break."
Alphonse felt a bit of discomfort at that. It certainly wasn't something he knew, much less cared for. It was incongruous with what he knew, too, given people seemed to look down on others with an Enkephalin addiction. If they took it themselves…
No, he was getting lost in the weeds of that particular set of mores and norms. He wasn't entertaining the thought much longer regardless, as Netzach spoke up again.
"They need it. How couldn't they? Just think about it. If you found your friend torn apart into thousands of pieces, how in the world would you clean up his dead body without a single drop of emotion?" Netzach remarked as he pulled his hand out from his pocket and clutched his head. "Is it really something cowardly? Using Enkephalin, trying to escape all the pain? Are we really some gross thing you can't stand to look at?"
"No one said that." Alphonse cut in, crossing his arms as he glanced at Netzach. "I wouldn't say it's cowardly… but you can't escape forever. You've got to face the music and process everything, like it or not."
"As if you ever did that." Netzach spat out with a venomous fury that took him by surprise. Before he could even respond, the Sephirah turned to glare at him. "You, of all people… you don't get to say that to my face. You don't have the right to lecture me about that when you couldn't even move past her death."
Alphonse felt as though he'd been struck, deep inside his core, and he took a step back as he clutched his head, the wound on his wrist also started aching once more, with a fresh and renewed vigor.
"Not like I ever did either, but who the hell could?" Netzach continued and all Alphonse could do was stand there and feel as his entire body seized up. "You think I enjoy being such a dour piece of shit? Every single day I look at people getting up and coming to work, knowing that they could probably die and that even if they don't, someone else will. I have to see them all put up a brave front, working in this shithole even though none of them feels like they're cut out for it!"
Netzach was breathing heavily, glaring a hole in the wall in front of him. His teeth bared, he brought the bottle to his mouth one last time and drained it completely before throwing it off to the side.
"What the hell am I supposed to do about that!?" Netzach screamed at him, "Just suck it up, smile and tell everyone that we'll be fine as long as we give it our best shot? I can barely even work up the motivation to show up here, so how the hell do you expect me to lie to their faces on top of that!? I don't want to be here! I don't want to be responsible for so many people that are going to die even if I do my best!"
Alphonse felt as though his head was about to explode as Netzach turned his gaze on him, The one eye that he could see glowed in a foul, dark green tone. Under his eye, something gathered, moments later, a black mud started to seep out of his eye.
"I can't escape." Netzach growled as the dark ichor started to spill out from his mouth. "I'll never escape. And you won't let me do it either, not for a moment with Enkephalin, not forever by letting me die like I should have ages ago. Of everyone here…you're the most twisted bastard by far."
Alphonse felt himself getting pulled away, and a brief moment later, he realized that alarms were blaring loudly, screaming into everyone's ears, his head was too much of a mess to make it out, but he saw as one of the doors opened, revealing Void Dream wandering into the main room.
"Manager, snap out of it!" Someone called out to him. "We need to get you out of here!"
The last thing he saw as he was forcibly dragged out of the room was the Abnormality dripping the same black ichor as it approached Netzach.
Angela stood alone in one of the more remote parts of the facility when she heard the damned alarms that she'd heard so many times before, yet never saw anything done about.
"Warning. Warning. Manifestation of Qlipha due to Sephirah Breakdown." The same automated system as that of the Trumpets called out. "Warning. Abnormality Resonance detected, Sephirah's Core destabilized. Suppression of Sephirah's Core required immediately."
She was as displeased as could be. Not only had Ayin bumbled his way into causing Netzach to break down, he also enabled a resonance with an Abnormality of the department. It was an uncommon occurrence, but due to the nature of the facility, such a thing was well within the realm of possibility.
Angela began walking towards the elevator while looking at the department's infrastructure. The regenerator had been shut down, as expected, as did every single one in the facility, the alarms continued to blare as an employee wisely dragged Ayin, who seemed to have blacked out, away from the room. Filled with contempt as she was towards her creator, she still helped along by opening the doors between the employee and the Information Team's corridors, allowing them to escape.
At least, that was what she would have done, but they did not respond. A diagnostics check revealed the issue to be that their electronics had been fried and short circuited. As for the override only she had access to, it seemed like it was taken out as collateral damage. A quick check of the other doors that led outside the department revealed it to be much the same.
He was stuck there.
Angela let out a breath in a huff. Could she afford to delay restarting the day to allow him to suffer at Netzach's hands? Unfortunately the answer was no, and thus she prepared to access the TT2 Protocol and didn't hesitate to send the signal for a day reset.
She waited for a couple seconds. Seconds which turned to minutes. Minutes which turned to two hours in her perception, before she received a return message.
Access Denied.
She blinked, taken off guard by the sudden refusal. Once more she input the necessary data and sent it. The time for a response was agonizingly long to her, but briefer than the last one. It was, however…
Access Denied.
She did not want to speak of the matter, but her hand was forced as she made a call to the only person who could have possibly done such a thing. Deep within the facility, at its third and final layer, Angela spoke to her old friend.
"Benjamin, are you denying me access to the TimeTrack2 Protocol?" She asked, biting down and shoving her frustration to the wayside, knowing she shouldn't take it out on him.
"Angela."
The newly reappointed Sephirah of the Records department replied cooly. His voice felt distant and stern, she could hardly fault him for coming across that way, but even still, she couldn't help but feel breathless for a moment that stretched ever so long, waiting for his words.
"We must not interfere." He said. "Support him if you must, but unless he surrenders or dies, I will maintain an embargo on the TT2 Protocol."
Angela was flabbergasted. What in the world was he saying? Had his conversations with Ayin changed him so thoroughly that he would allow him to suffer in such a way? It couldn't be, such a change couldn't have possibly occurred.
"Have you lost your mind?" Angela asked, mild anger seeping through. "Benjamin, the current situation is not manageable unless Ayin can be sent back to his office."
"No." Came his reply, plain and firm as stone. "That man has placed himself in this situation through his own actions, without prompting and without anything to truly guide him. Regardless of if this is serendipity or coincidence, we must observe how he handles it."
Angela didn't understand why he was suddenly being so stubborn, and she made a couple of attempts at accessing the TT2 Protocol regardless of his insistence.
As she was denied further access, she moved towards the Records Department. If she had to meet face to face to take back control, she would do so.
In the meantime, she observed the situation while sending out an urgent call to the Control Team to find a way to crack open the door while sending another to the Welfare Team to try and increase the Qliphoth Deterrence.
While she would have loved nothing more than to do nothing… she had to at least try to bring the situation under control, her control.
We couldn't have been further apart from each other if we tried.
We weren't friends, we weren't colleagues and we certainly weren't navigating similar social circles. I only vaguely recall having met him once, though where exactly, I don't remember.
But the 'how' was a simple matter. It was because of her, obviously. Even if I couldn't remember the specifics, I knew that our first meeting was facilitated because of her. When we got the team together to start work on the project, he was there. He didn't seem to recognize me when we met eyes on that day, but I thought little of it; it wasn't like I remembered his name at the time either.
Regardless, he didn't really contribute to the project, though no one had any hard feelings about it. He wasn't a scientist by trade and he didn't really fully grasp all the things we were so eager to discuss, but he was there because he wanted to make sure she didn't overextend herself. No one who knew her could fault him for that and we all accepted him into our fold.
After the incident, he was devastated. And when I decided to press forward regardless…
"She'd laugh so hard at seeing the two of us talking like this." The green haired man said with a slight but honest smile. "I mean, we've never really talked to each other. After all, I was here because I trusted–"
Her, not me.
The man stroked his shoulder-length hair and looked himself over in the blue smock he was dressed with. After a moment, we both stepped into the room, he took a deep breath as he laid down on the bed and everyone prepared him for the experiment.
"Well…it's a little weird to say it right now." The man said as the other members of the team finished setting up the nodes across his head. "But she did trust you, and I think we all know that. So I'll toss in my lot with you."
I'm sure I mustn't have let my true feelings show, but I still couldn't help myself. I spoke up and reminded him that I'd said there were no guarantees that we'd be successful, but he just cut me off with a shake of his head.
"I know." He said. "But even still, I hope this'll bring–"
That it'll bring her back to life.
It wouldn't. She'd never come back to us, I personally made sure of that. We couldn't even have possibly run this experiment if not for that.
And it was one we needed to run, once we began our research on Cogito in earnest. At that time, figuring out the correct dosage was our most pressing issue, and finding anyone willing to submit themselves to the clinical trials was not a simple task, after everything up until that moment. In the end, though, I told a simple lie to set the groundwork. A little white lie to ease someone, anyone into the idea. He was the one that raised his hand with meek, yet stalwart determination when I asked for volunteers.
But of course, an experiment to find the proper dosage of a drug isn't something that can be done in a single trial or two. Even still, he helped to perfect our methodology and reach a higher understanding of how Cogito may be used.
It is a substance that emaciates the boundaries of what one may call a human, and repeated experiments would inevitably leave an indelible mark on a person.
I knew that his death would be awful and that in the end…there was no such thing as a noble sacrifice. Death was a miserable affair, no matter how grand or justified one may feel about the cause they champion.
But I didn't stop. I couldn't stop and I would never stop.
After all, I…
With the blaring of alarms and something pulling on him, it was difficult for Alphonse to not stir back to wakefulness, though he wished he didn't.
"Goddamn it, open up!" The sound of loud metallic thuds helped with that as well, as did a voice desperately screaming. "Open up! I've got the manag–"
He groaned and that stopped the man's screams, his head was ringing too much and his slashed wrist felt like it was burning at the moment.
"M-manager! Hey! Are you awake now?" Alphonse heard and he groaned as he looked around and tried to get his bearings. They were in a corridor within Safety, but the lights had been cut and they were on emergency power.
It reminded him of the start of this entire goddamn mess too much, the fall of the facility.
"Status…" He winced and clutched at his head, realizing a little belatedly that the agent had slung his arm over his shoulder. He moved a bit and the employee let him go, allowing Alphonse to lay against the wall and start over. "Status report?"
"Void Dream escaped and after that, something happened to mister Netzach..." The employee, who Alphonse finally recognized as Hannah, responded with a nervous tilt. "I couldn't see, but apparently, they went into the containment chambers of the other Abnormalities."
The agent took deep breaths and looked off to the side. Alphonse saw Fourth Match Flame, an enormous bazooka of hollowed out, ashen wood with a massive match going right through it perpendicular to the barrel.
"At least I've got my E.G.O with me…but I'm not sure about our odds." Hannah admitted as he took a deep breath. "We're locked out from the rest of the facility, I can't break through the door and…I don't know how the rest of the team is doing. If we have to deal with the Little Prince's spores on top of everything, I don't know how we're going to–"
"Keep it together, man." Alphonse said sternly, even though he wasn't doing too hot himself. "How's our comms?"
"Dead, we could contact each other for a while, but then they cut off completely." Hannah said as he sat down next to his weapon. "I… I think we're on our own."
"When it rains, it pours…" Alphonse lamented, taking a breath and looking at the agent. "Any idea of if there's any E.G.O stored around somewhere else in the department?"
"I… no?" Hannah asked in genuine confusion. "Every time you assign us E.G.O gear, we just receive them in our dorm from wherever they're supposed to be stored."
Well, there went that idea…
"Were you thinking of using E.G.O?" Hannah asked, "Manager, sir, it's too dangerous. You don't have any experience in Suppression…"
"Last I checked, you weren't exactly a legendary Fixer or anything before getting hired, either." Alphonse retorted as he looked off to the side and grimaced. "Besides, everyone keeps rubbing it in my face that I don't know what it's like to be an employee in the middle of the facility and risk my life every second of work, it's only fair I learnt today."
Alphonse clenched his hands and let out a breath. Yes, it seemed to him like he was going to have to find out right there and then, like it or not, so having something to stop him from getting killed would help.
After allowing themselves a small breather, they both stood up at the same time.
"What's the plan, manager?" Hannah asked, somewhat unsure. "I… I'm guessing you have an idea of what's going on? I mean, it seems strange that you'd think about getting a weapon if you were thinking about escaping."
"...Vaguely. I've only been speculating so far." Alphonse said as he took a deep breath; now it was time to see if he could put his money where his mouth was. "From what I've put together, the Sephirah aren't truly AI. They've got particular quirks that would just get in the way of work, as well as memories of a time before they were part of Lobotomy Corporation. It's likely they're normal humans shoved into full-body prosthetics."
Yum-Yum did say their bodies could pass for that, unlike Angela, so it only made sense if the company was just straight up making use of them in that capacity..
"I…what?" Hannah said, scratching at his head. "How does this help us?"
Alphonse groaned and shook his head. He was getting a bit ahead of himself; he really wanted to share his thoughts, but it was something he'd have to share with someone who cared. Currently, that was no one and they were in a bit of a bind, so he wouldn't find his agent caring a whole lot.
"Fucking…" Alphonse shook his head and sighed. "Look, what I want to get at is, I wouldn't count on us getting help until we resolve the situation, and the only way we're doing that is by facing Netzach. Just cover me and I'll figure out the rest somehow."
While moving across the hall, he mulled over the things he wanted to say but hadn't really been allowed to. The Sephirah were the key to the manager's reason for being in the facility, that much was clear to him. Additionally, as he noted before, they were likely human and very much not cut out to really handle their jobs at peak efficiency like cold machines.
Alphonse was still iffy on the specifics of how it worked out, but he was almost sure that something was actively affecting people's emotional state in the facility; people had opened up to him way too easily, even when they had no prior history. You don't just traumadump on a stranger, much less your boss.
Judging the situation with what info he had, he'd at least put together that Netzach and the others were meant to snap, and he had to step in when that happened, due to whatever shared history they had. Whether he was meant to actually help them or break them down further, he wasn't sure. He sure as shit hoped it was the former, because that was what he was going to try.
Although given what he'd just seen while unconscious… that seemed like it was kind of a big ask.
"Have you lost your mind, manager?" Hannah retorted, and Alphonse finally realized that the Agent hadn't moved. "We don't know what mister Netzach's capable of! We could very well end up dead!"
"Or we can sit here and almost certainly die." Alphonse shot back without so much as an iota of hesitation. "One percent chance of living versus ninety nine percent chance of dying."
He certainly didn't particularly want to risk his neck, but the fact that the loops were in place at least meant he wouldn't die. Hannah wasn't of the same mind, for obvious reasons, so Alphonse took a breath.
"Look, I don't want to press gang you into this, but we don't have a whole lot of options." Alphonse added with a shrug. "It's either this or you toss–"
Alphonse didn't get to finish before the ground started rumbling and the emergency lights flickered. He almost tripped and fell, but quickly settled as he grabbed onto a pipe on the wall.
As they were getting their bearings, he noticed a glow on the floor where he was standing, as well as in several other scattered spots on the floor. Without thinking, he flung himself to the side, scraping his knees and hands and bringing back the pain from that time Netzach fell on top of his foot. He still made the right call as golden stars burst forth from the floor.
When Alphonse got back on his feet, he looked back at Hannah only to see the agent fall on his knees and drop to the floor. A cloud formed from beneath him and made up a bed for him.
"Shit." Alphonse remarked as he hobbled towards him. "Hannah! Wake up!"
When he was next to the agent, he shook him by the collar of his E.G.O Suit, calling out his name. When that failed, Alphonse proceeded to slap him lightly, then a bit more forcefully, if not hard enough to where it'd actually really hurt a lot.
He was alone and could only assume he would have to resolve things on his own.
Alphonse took a deep breath as he looked at the discarded cannon off to the side, then back at the suit Hannah was wearing. Weighing his options, the man sighed and took a deep breath as he took off his labcoat and started unbuttoning his shirt.
At the very least, it seemed like the agent was about his size...
Chapter 26: The Fearlessness to keep on Living ~ 2.13 ~
Chapter Text
With a breath, Alphonse finished slipping into the E.G.O Suit. The edges of the shirt and pants were frayed and burnt, and the coat he wore was in an even more ruinous state, but that was just what it was supposed to look like. The thick smell of ash hung heavily all around him; the fact that he'd pilfered those clothes off of someone was bad enough, but frankly the odor was making it even worse.
As did the strange sensation that came upon him when he was fully clothed. It was like he'd put on a skinsuit from a freshly flayed creature. Not in terms of texture or humidity, but more just the sense of nausea and revulsion one might find in doing that sort of thing.
Grabbing the discarded weapon, the sensation was greater still, but very much manageable. Once fully prepared, Alphonse dug around the left pocket of the labcoat he'd already sloppily draped over the sleeping employee. He was already taking a huge risk with this stunt, so he decided against pushing it by properly dressing Hannah in his discarded clothes. It'd be disorienting as shit when he woke up one way or the other but…
If he woke up, part of him said, almost cutting his train of thought. He pushed it to the side as he took out Benjamin's letter from the pocket.
He didn't try reading it in the dim light, but he just stared at it for a few seconds. Before carefully placing the folded letter inside the pocket of his commandeered shirt.
"'Face the Fear. Build the Future'." Alphonse quoted as he hefted the bazooka over his shoulder. "Right, Benjamin?"
He did not receive a reply, but the silence did not bother him as badly as it could have.
Alphonse wasn't ready. Physically, he felt at a bit of a disadvantage, with his foot aching even now. Mentally, he didn't know how to really address Netzach, doubly so with all the baggage that seemed to be there between him and the man he was supposed to be. Frankly, he wasn't even sure if he was doing what he was supposed to or if he was going to get his shit kicked in for doing something stupid.
His readiness did not matter and he was well aware of this. Thus he left the corridor with careful, slow steps.
As Angela descended further into the depths of the facility, moving through the Central Command department, the Tiphereths immediately asked her what was going on, but she pointedly told them to only keep to their duties and nothing else, not even bothering to put on a veneer of civility.
All the while, she had to watch Ayin drape himself in the E.G.O of the Scorched Girl.
"He has chosen to arm himself." Benjamin stated with a tone that seemed to indicate he'd be raising a brow if he could. "Ignoring the danger of E.G.O as a whole, in most circumstances, he'd only be inviting further danger upon himself and painting himself as a target, but perhaps this choice isn't unwise in this case."
Angela only hurried her pace as Ayin seemed to mentally prepare himself for the absolutely idiotic undertaking he thought he had to get done.
"Benjamin, you may have authority over the TT2 Protocol, but I stand above you in many more regards." Angela took a stern tone. "Please save us both the trouble and don't make me show you just how miserable I can make you."
"You are being inflexible. You should already know that the manager is not required to be in his office at the time of the Sephirah Meltdowns." Benjamin replied.
"Because it goes without saying," Angela shot back in irritation. "Logic would obviously dictate that he would have to be in the safest place in the facility whenever one occurs."
"Yet at this very moment… we are still talking." Benjamin retorted plainly. "You should know very well neither of us have any authority to stop the TT2 Protocol if the conditions are deemed to be outside acceptable parameters. The process is automatic and impossible to override. Despite the current situation, nothing has happened."
The unspoken question was still very much put forward.
'The situation is acceptable, so why do you insist on doing this?'
As Ayin recited the company slogan and moved forward, Angela seethed and stomped her way through the deep-blue tinted Welfare Department. Chesed seemed about to greet her with his usual languid, slightly sarcastic and utterly defeated tone, but he immediately moved out of the way upon spotting her.
"Angela." Benjamin spoke softly. "I have reviewed the records relating to the most recent usages of the TT2 Protocol and looked over security footage of several days. I have seen what has happened to 'X', and how the tw–"
"If you have seen that much, you should already know he's incapable of doing a single thing from his position." Angela cut him off. She could have done so even earlier, but she found herself doing it only when she saw Benjamin about to say something he had no right speaking about.
That wasn't lost on him and it didn't take her long to acknowledge that.
"Angela, you cannot avoid the topic." He added stubbornly. "If you must, delay it until after the current situation is dealt with, regardless of the result, but you must confront it in the end."
As she finally reached the elevator to the Records Department and began her descent, so too did Ayin go down the elevator shaft.
"Don't deflect the topic." Angela shot back, though something twisted in on itself inside her right as the words left her mouth. "He cannot handle this situation."
Benjamin remained silent for an extended period of time. It stretched on for so long that Angela finally reached the bottom and saw the elevator doors open.
She was immediately met by the Sephirah in question, a stark white metal box towering over her. Silver trims akin to clouds covered his chassis, while missing panels revealed a multitude of exposed gears. Two screens sat upon the top half of his frame, one being the facsimile of a green eye, and the other bearing the name 'Hokma' upon it. In one hand he held up a pocket watch, and over his eye rested a monocle.
"I will not relinquish control so long as you remain rooted in this belief that you must turn back the hands of time right now." Benjamin spoke, his tone firm, yet serene.
"And so you would have me do nothing?" Angela asked as she glared into the man's false eye.
"No. I would have you observe. I would have you look upon that man, his actions thus far and what he will either accomplish or fail at right now. Then, I would have you cast judgment based on that…"
Although his tone hadn't changed too much as he spoke, Angela felt something deeply accusatory about it.
Hokma turned around, his attention focused elsewhere.
"Just as I will."
A feeling of deep-seated unease started to settle into her mind, and at the same time… Ayin faced Netzach.
Before he even entered the room, Alphonse's brain was assaulted by thoughts. Fully formed ideas and words. Accusations. Lamentations.
There's no Safety here. No one is actually safe. It's all just for show.
Don't wake me up. I just want to sleep forever.
The only time we can find solace is when we're dreaming of everything we've lost. There's nothing left for us in the present or the future.
It was nauseating, yet also struck at him far deeper than just that. He had no choice but to push those thoughts to the side. He kept the bazooka at the ready, but pointed towards the floor as he entered the main room of the department. He immediately spotted two employees, blissfully unaware and sleeping on clouds floating a whole foot off the ground.
And also…
"Ah, why are you here?"
Netzach answered. At least, Alphonse could only assume it was him because it used his voice.
A disgusting pile of blackened tissue writhed on the floor, indistinct in shape and about as big as a person. It had two branchlike 'arms', which towered over him, easily twice his size and with purple feathers and fur growing in uneven patches across them. A neon green eye about the size of his face gazed upon him, while many organic ones of various colors were spread across the mass. Horns had grown all over it, curving in various ways. Some spread in waves, and protruding like thorns, others spiraling inward and stabbing into its flesh and even into a number of its eyes. All the punctures let out a dark-red liquid. Blood, oil or otherwise, the ichor had been settling on the floor long enough to form a small stream that led straight towards the drain, right where they had been talking, where the Enkephalin had been poured into.
"You should have run away like the coward you are." Like the coward I am. Netzach groaned out, and yet snapped at Alphonse. "There's nothing you can do "
Alphonse's throat felt dry. All prior bravery seemed like empty bravado. He couldn't even bring himself to answer him properly. The words weren't coming to him and he choked up when he attempted to say something regardless.
"I want…" He finally found something actually leaving his throat as he averted his eyes and looked off. "I want to talk with you, Netzach."
The Sephirah closed his electronic eye, letting out a heavy sigh.
"Shove it up your ass."
One of the branchlike arms lazily swung inwards, eyes blinking and stars shooting out from them.
Alphonse was forced to dodge to one side. Even though they weren't going terribly fast, he still almost got hit by one of the stars thanks to how they'd clustered together. Netzach then swung his arm outwards, forcing him to dodge again.
All the while he was still struck by the thoughts.
Every day I wake up I'm surrounded by everything I hate.
I'd rather sleep forever than see you ever again.
Wouldn't you rather let go of everything and disappear forever into your dreams?
There were a few close calls but he avoided all the projectiles. Even still, his foot was hurting, and it was only going to get worse as things went on and he exerted himself.
"You're not gonna use that?" Netzach asked, opening his eye and vaguely motioning towards the cannon on his shoulder.
"I don't want to hurt you, Netzach." Alphonse said as he caught his breath.
"Fat load of good that's doing you." He laughed mirthlessly. "Come on. What happened to the guy who pushed me down to the floor and hurt himself lecturing me? Did you not mean to hurt me back then?"
Alphonse winced, remembering the incident. As he thought about it and what he'd said back then… he knew he had to be honest.
"No, I did."
Netzach stopped moving just as he was preparing to take another swing.
"I was too pissed off. Wasn't really thinking back then." Alphonse admitted, averting his gaze. "I don't think I was out of line in cutting you off from your Enkephalin, but I…"
Alphonse cut himself off, remembering his words that day and only feeling like an asswipe.
"I'm sorry. I took it way too far." He said, weakly.
"You think saying sorry just fixes everything?" Netzach said as he drew back his arm.
"It's a start!" Alphonse answered, the last word coming out more forcefully as he dodged out of the way of more stars. "You were doing some real ding-dong shit, but that wasn't a reason to say what I did! I shouldn't have blamed you for Tiffany's death, or said you're part of the problem!"
"You… did you really bother remembering what she was called?" Netzach let up on the assault momentarily before he swung his arm around again. "What about all the rest? Did you remember them too, or just her because it was more convenient for your point?"
Alphonse strained as he dodged more and more stars, ducking and weaving around, until he felt the pain sharpening and he couldn't help but just fall to the ground, thankfully low enough that he wasn't hit by any stars.
Netzach looked down upon him, as if demanding him to answer.
"I don't remember everyone that died, but some deaths just stick with me." Alphonse said, trying not to yell out his answer as he forced the pain back down. "Tiffany's situation was one of those. It's a sick joke. She was addicted to Enkephalin before she even joined the company and our hiring department didn't see a problem with that."
Alphonse hit the ground with his hand and forced himself back to his feet, using the E.G.O as a crutch.
"Don't think for a second that I'm just remembering what I've got to remember just so I can 'win' or something like that." He said while wincing in pain and groaning. "I'm just… trying."
"Try whatever you want on your own, just leave me out of this." Netzach replied, seeming to lower both of his arms. "You can't save anyone anyways. I know I can't, so I gave up and decided not to feel guilty about it."
Netzach let out a breath. Lowering his arms even further.
"'Cause there's nothing any of us can do. This place is always going to be horrible and the best thing anyone can get is a blissful end."
Alphonse leaned heavily on the bazooka, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.
"I know." He bit down and shook his head as he looked at Netzach. "I…"
His mind went blank. He wasn't really doing anything with this conversation. He was starting, but he needed more to go on.
After a moment, he took a breath and tried again.
"I'm a moron." He said bitterly. "I'm not good at any of the touchy feely stuff. I… I have a hard enough time even trying to understand myself and what I feel like half of the time."
Netzach remained silent as Alphonse spoke up.
"I'm no good with words." He continued. "I don't know how to let people know I'm trying to be honest. I've no clue how to tell you this and have you believe me, but I…"
Alphonse shut his mouth, taking a couple of heavy breaths as he finally stood to his full height.
"I get it, goddamn it!" He yelled out. "I get what it's like to feel like you've got nothing to look forward to, to just stand there breathing, eating, sleeping and then not doing anything worthwhile. I know what it's like to wake up and have to force yourself out of bed even though you'd rather just stay there, rather than deal with all the shit that's just waiting for you the second you get up. I fucking know!"
Alphonse took a few breaths, heavy and every so often interrupted by his frustrated exhales.
"And I know how cheap words are. I know how easy it is to say I get you and you have no guarantees that I can relate to you in any way." He breathed slowly. "But I want… I want to help you."
Silence reigned over the two of them for several seconds as Alphonse tried to get his bearings.
"As if..." Netzach said, drawing his arms back. "There's no way you'd want to be stuck here in this hell."
Netzach was about to add something more, and Alphonse cut him off.
"Damn right I don't." He said bluntly, taking the wind out of the Sephirah's sails completely before he continued with a snort. "This is too much to deal with. I'd much rather be back home, with my brother and mom."
The Sephirah stopped for a moment, as if staggered by his words. Something of a sound left him, but Alphonse couldn't tell if it was frustration or confusion.
Regardless, Alphonse looked back at Netzach right in the eye. "But I'm stuck here and I've got no way of getting back… so I'll just do this instead."
Netzach took a breath with clear frustration as he lifted both his arms in the air. The fur and feathers began to slough off of his flesh as the various eyes closed and the horns turned to dust.
"What can you even do?" Netzach said as the branches grew and slowly interlaced with each other. "You said it yourself, the company doesn't care. You won't get help from anyone that actually matters and things will just stay the same, because that's just the way it's supposed to be."
The fleshy mass began to wither and dry up, seemingly hardening and taking on a blue tint. More thoughts slammed right into his head at the same time.
You weren't the person I put my trust in.
Before I met her, I lived my whole life without a sense of purpose.
In the end, the hope that anyone will live on thanks to me is gone.
A blue, wavy mushroom cap grew on top of the branches and from its edge began to dangle threads like willow leaves. When Alphonse took a closer look, he realized the fused together arms making up its stem resembled a human shape, slight and slender, beautiful as could be. As his eyes tried to focus on its face, there was a sudden burst of blood from his slashed wrist and a sharp spike of blinding pain that forced him to clutch his head.
I don't have the right to remember.
Something different from the foreign thoughts slammed right into him, causing him a deep discomfort as he tried and failed to so much as look at the face in the mushroom; it had one, but he couldn't even begin to try to make it out without feeling nauseated. The most he managed to spot was fibrous black extensions of the mushroom, styled after hair, a red ball, and a long appendage of the same dark mycelium attached to it, miming a ponytail.
"You can't help our employees, you can't even help yourself." Netzach said as he swayed side to side, allowing the willowy strands on the cap to sway and make sounds akin to those of a windchime. "So how the hell are you even going to help me?"
The mushroom started to release a cloud of white spores. Although he was still winded, that was the moment for Alphonse to act.
He aimed the cannon towards the ceiling; without even having fired a shot once, he already knew just how large the splash zone was and his effective range. He pulled the trigger and a shrill scream rang out as a fireball went sailing past the mushroom cap, burning up spores along the way and exploding on impact. He continued to fire at the air, trying to clear it of contaminants.
"Are you for real right now?" Netzach said as he swayed and released more spores. "You can't keep that up forever. If that's as far ahead as you planned, then you shouldn't have bothered."
Netzach was right, the spores were rather quickly starting to fill the room, even with Alphonse actively trying to burn them up. He began to walk back as he fired, until he heard the chiming stop.
Instead, a disgusting, squelching sound rang out, by the time he turned his attention to one of the employees; it was too late, a hulking blue figure began to rise. Two dark blue stems made up its legs, and its entire upper half began to bloat and bubble full of blue and purple boils and sores, distending to the point where it fell under its own weight, having to raise its rear even as it dragged its pointed, sharp head and lumbering arms on the floor.
Alphonse pointed Fourth Match Flame upon it, but it closed the gap between them far faster than he could have expected.
He truly didn't know what it was like to work in the facility. To experience what the employees did and know what it was like. He very quickly learned when he was ran through by the monstrous creature, letting out a scream of pain and horror as it lifted him and threw him back.
Alphonse felt his brain frying itself under the tortuous pain. He couldn't even focus on what he was doing or needed to do. Where he was at the moment, what he should do, just how bad the damage had been. He couldn't feel his legs, everything felt like it was on fire and his entire body and brain was pricked with thorns.
He was going to die. This wasn't a conversation anymore, he was just going to die, and for as much as he thought he was ready for it, his brain was filled with nothing but primal terror. His hands went towards the wound and he tried to look at it. He couldn't, the pain was blinding. Maybe his eyes were already on it but he couldn't recognize it.
Something struck at him again, and he continued to scream in pain, looking towards the ceiling whilst still writhing in anguish.
But slowly… the feeling began to fade, the horrid pain which assaulted him began to fade, and he began to feel everything within himself settle in. He took greedy gasps of air and let it all out in feverish laughter until it all just… settled into place.
It took him a while to realize he was looking at a ceiling. He took in more air before he coughed up something wet, but he just wiped his mouth and remained motionless where he was. It took him several seconds to really register that he was in the elevator, and that the door was open, revealing that he was now in another corridor, away from the main room.
Grabbing a handrail with a shaky hand, he got up and immediately felt a shiver in his spine as he stepped over something wet with one foot and something hard with the other. He moved forward to avoid it, but then felt the air hitting his stomach and also his back.
Nausea started to take over him as he moved his hands to cover his stomach and felt his shoulder tense uncomfortably before he turned to see a massive pair of syringes sticking out of his shoulder.
Feeling squeamish, he carefully moved a hand towards them, firmly but quickly removing them and shuddering. Examining one, he saw a logo, a K in green and black with white highlights, just below it, underlined by a black and a green line was the manufacturer's name: K-CORP. The other was unmarked, beyond a serial number.
The syringes clattered in his hands even as he set them down on the floor. He took a few deep breaths and hugged his knees.
He was alive.
He was only alive because of those syringes and he knew that. He was also only alive because of the elevator, which had been closed before, and yet had only opened conveniently when he was thrown back towards it, before it closed and sent him elsewhere.
Taking a breath again, he shook his head. It was… kind of plain to see what had happened. Only one person could have possibly had such control over the facility. None of that would happen if not for them. He had to bite down and for as much as he didn't want to say it…
"Angela." He began quietly, his voice cracking for a moment before he took a deep breath. "Thanks."
The only response he got was silence.
After a while of trying to settle himself down. Alphonse felt lucid. High-strung, but able to think. He reached that state a lot quicker than he should have, but he decided it wasn't worth thinking about, compared to everything else. He would chalk it up to adrenalin.
He saw a few more employees in the corridor. Cautiously, he attempted and failed to wake up any of them. He stole the coat off of a clerk with an apology that went unheard before changing from the E.G.O Suit's coat to that one; it felt as though it couldn't protect him anymore, anyways.
"Give me five minutes to wrack my brain here." Alphonse said as he sat down next to a wall. He wasn't even sure if he was saying that to himself or Angela at that point.
Although the ancestral lizard brain side of him screamed that this situation wasn't a conversation anymore and he was going to die if he kept it up… it also felt like he wasn't going nowhere with it, either. Alphonse breathed in. This wasn't a problem of "do X then Y", it wasn't about coming up to Netzach throwing shit on his face…
Alphonse slapped himself, no, what he needed to do was… take a breath. A deep breath. The smell of ashes filled his ears and…he slapped himself in the face and got up. He'd left the weapon behind in the elevator. Quickly moving towards it, he–
Felt nauseous again when he spotted the pool of blood, but he forced his sight towards Fourth Match Flame, now in pieces. He drew closer and grimaced. The weapon itself could be replaced easily, but he needed it right at that moment. Grabbing what was left of the cannon he…
A thought creeped up his mind, and he was left blinking as he considered it. He grabbed a hold of the oversized, still-intact match struck right in the middle of the wreck and he started to pull it loose.
A match was made up of a single piece of wood and a head to strike alight. All else was decoration.
"Angela…if you're helping me, I just need a favor right now."
The door of the elevator opened, and Alphonse was treated to the sight of the lumbering fungal monster charging right into the one on the other side, the door closing and boxing the creature in.
It banged against the walls of the elevator, loud enough that he could hear it from where he stood, at least until it seemed to get taken up a level. For his part, Netzach turned around slowly, and Alphonse just looked at his eye. Partly to avoid looking at the face of the figure on top of the Sephirah, if he had to be honest.
"Let's talk, Netzach." He said. He probably didn't cut a very impressive figure with his mismatched suit and the match held at his side like a sword towards the ground.
Netzach seemed to be stunned and couldn't even reply first. So Alphonse took the moment to breathe.
"Yeah, you're right. I don't have a plan." He admitted. "In all honesty, I don't even know if having one would help me either way. I only barely get what is going on around me and it feels as though I'm having to play catch up while no one tells me anything."
Alphonse shook his head.
"I don't know what you need. Although I know it's probably not some whackjob like me tossing around motivational speeches or kicking you while you're down or what have you." He added and concluded by saying. "Only thing I can do is try to be the realest motherfucker I can be."
The Sephirah seemed to struggle with the words in his own throat for a moment before he spoke up.
"You're right, I don't need you of all people breathing down my neck." Netzach swayed around again. "There's nothing you can do."
Just leave me alone, it's what you're best at…
She redeemed me, a person who abandoned himself.
I was isolated and alone, when I was awakened by an odd little voice, and I saw the most extraordinary person.
As the spores began to be released, Alphonse ran towards the other remaining employee, now unimpeded by even the wounded foot, which seemed to be healed up as well. He stopped right in front of them and spun on his heel, allowing the match to drag along in the ground
One thought came upon his mind in that moment, different from all the rest. It was directed, sharp…and one he held upon his very hand.
To burn all things that are bright to ashes…
He swung. As the match's tip burned brightly, a plume of flames expanded out, far less focused than the cannon fire, but just good enough to annihilate all the spores on the air in a single swoop.
"I know I'm not– " The words got caught up on his throat, despite himself, but after choking on them for a couple seconds, he screamed them out as he pointed the match towards the mushroom as he looked down at Netzach's eye. "I know I'm not her! But that doesn't mean I can't do a damn thing either!"
"You can't do a damn thing! None of us can! She was the only reason we ever did anything in the first place!" Netzach retorted bitingly, once more spraying spores into the air. "She showed me a whole other world of possibilities I couldn't even begin to understand!"
Step by step… Burn into pitch black char.
Alphonse swung Fourth Match Flame again, this time slightly singeing the tip of the mushroom's cap, in spite of that, it continued to release more spores.
"I never did anything worthwhile! Every day all I could ever do was breathe!" Netzach continued furiously. "I never did anything with myself and just stayed right where I was! And even when I lost her, there was nothing I could do either!"
You'll leave me when the light of the last match goes out, won't you?
Alphonse swung the E.G.O again, feeling something fraying within him, but pushing through regardless to burn down everything.
"It's disgusting! I can't live like that anymore!" Netzach continued to yell back as the room continued to fill back up with spores. "I've got no dreams or aspirations because I don't have the talent or practice to make anything a reality! There's nothing I can give anyone! There's nothing I want with my whole heart! And I don't deserve anything either, why should I!?"
The mushroom compressed in on itself for a moment before it expanded and the top of it exploded into spores.
Alphonse tightened his hold on the match, grinding his teeth as something finally slammed into his head just before he swung the match one final time.
Wait for me. I am coming to you, who will be reduced to ash–
He bit down and slammed the thought down, refusing it and then allowing his posture to slacken from what his mind said should be the one he took. The spores closed in, before he swung one more time, and the flames spread even further than they'd done before, covering the entire breadth and width of the room. Netzach growled in pain, but wasn't set on fire. Regardless, Alphonse saw that he was somewhat scorched.
But the room had been tinted orange by the various flames that spread around it on its walls and floor.
Netzach closed his eye, laughing sadly as the mushroom melted and sloughed off of him.
"You want to do something? You want to help me?" Patchwork skin began to grow upon him as he lowered and a hollow began to carve itself on his back. "Then kill me. Let me die. Just let it be over. I don't want these responsibilities, I don't want to have to carry this weight that's been forced on me. I don't want to live this life full of pain."
Alphonse's eyes were drawn to the sewer grate further ahead of him, which clattered and shook for a moment before blood-dyed water began to overflow and seep from it.
He lowered his weapon and looked at Netzach. In front of him stood a tub of human skin where a green-haired figure rested, one hand out, leaking blood.
Alphonse slowly approached, shaking his head. "I can't, Netzach."
The green hair swayed lightly as the sound of water sloshing filled his ears.
"I hate you." Netzach said, his voice languid and defeated. "I hate you so much. I just want to leave forever. To close my eyes and sleep forever. I didn't even want to kill anyone."
Why do you want to continue prolonging this life I never asked for?
Who could ever simply take this sorrow in stride?
No matter how much you wish to grasp what slips through your fingers…
Alphonse stood right in front of the tub, with the waters rising from the sewers to reach up to his ankles. The figure inside had long hair and sunken eyes. EEG nodes were placed across his forehead, and his mouth was twisted in a sickened smirk of lost hope.
"The only reason I'm so angry at you… is because you won't let me sink." Netzach spoke, even as the figure in the tub remained motionless. "I'm the only one that I want gone. Why is that too much to ask?"
The bloody water had risen further and further and Alphonse felt his shins were soaked now.
What'd you expect to see at the end of all this?
He was still unable to answer that much. As it began to reach his knees, he finally spoke up.
"Remember our conversation back when I got the Bloodbath into the facilty and you found me?"
Netzach let out a breath.
"I remember…" Netzach replied. "What's that got to do with anything?"
Alphonse let out a sigh as he rubbed at his forehead.
"You asked me why I'm still pushing on. Why I was digging my heels in." He began, closing his eyes. "And… I said I didn't really have a reason. I… really didn't and I really still don't have a reason to keep on living."
Alphonse shook his head. Back then, he couldn't answer in a way that really satisfied either of them. He did not have his Eureka moment. He didn't reach any kind of revelation.
He still hadn't. Today was no different, but…
"But if you had asked me if I wanted to die… then, I think… I'd rather I wasn't born at all in the first place." He said shakily. "I'm just a mess, I've fucked up my own life and done nothing worthwhile with it either. I had the means, I even had a dream… but I just kept squandering every chance I got to make it real. I could have made something of myself and gotten even better as I went, but… I never did."
Alphonse laughed and opened his eyes, Looking down at the bloody waters at his waist, he could only see the vaguest of reflections. The tears that fell down didn't even disturb the water all that much.
"But… that's fine, you know?"
He sniffled and choked as he turned his head up, heedless of the pale hands that rose from the water.
"I think just breathing is already a big deal." He sighed out. "Sticking around is so goddamn exhausting and… and it's just so much worse when you feel like you'll only see the same awful things as ever. What the fuck do we even get up for if it's gonna be like that?"
As a biting sensation settled in his stomach, he finally looked back towards the green haired figure on the tub.
Why then?
"I really can't say." Alphonse answered, looking up to the ceiling again. "I want to put in the effort to get out of bed because I don't want to stay in it forever. I've been there for so long that I know I'm sick of it. I don't know if I'll achieve anything in my life, I don't even know if I can make it worth anything in this hell… but what if it can be? What if all I need first is just… getting up? Staying awake?"
That's not enough.
"I know it's not enough. Just getting through the day isn't going to change anything." Alphonse said. "But we can just start with that much and then… we just figure it out, day after day…"
He laughed as he stared at the waters, now reaching up to his stomach.
"Perhaps... this is Hell." He said simply. "But I think there's something here we can scrounge up, among the ashes. I don't know that… but I'll believe there is, even if it's stupid to think so."
The waters remained still. They did not overflow, they did not move. Soon, they were so settled that he could see his own reflection on them.
A man he was not. Friends that weren't his. Traumas and scars that did not belong to him and which he shouldn't have to bear.
Even still…he was there, and he would face them.
The water level lowered. The green haired figure and the tub weren't there. As it lowered down and down…he spotted some out of place things. Three enormous eggs, one wooly egg with horns and feathers, another full of pores and with a mushroom cap and a last one made up of scarred human skin, sitting in a little bucket of blood
And finally in the middle of all three… a metal box laid down on the floor, one easily the size of a person. Dull green, almost grey. Gunmetal limbs were splayed out from its sides and bottom, digitigrade legs without feet and a pair of arms with forearms that were made up of a metal ulna and radius, like a human skeleton, and hands with only two fingers and a thumb.
One screen stood in a little side-box, a green eye, and another was where the forehead would be, with only a name displayed on it.
NETZACH.
"I stopped breathing that day." The man said, his voice now sounding like it was put through an electronic filter… or rather, sounding the way it should have to him a while back. "And now life calls out to me again…"
Netzach sighed.
"What a drag…"
Alphonse sighed and then drew closer before extending his hand towards Netzach.
The Sephirah remained on the floor for a couple seconds before he raised his hand…to wave in the air.
"Look, man, I get the symbolism," Netzach remarked tiredly. "But you're gonna throw out your back if you try to lift me."
"Fuck you, now I'll do it, like it or not." Alphonse said cheekily, if tiredly as he drew his hand back and repeated the motion forcefully.
Netzach gave a laugh, seemingly rolling his eye as he reached for Alphonse's hand.
He did not give the Sephirah the satisfaction of watching him give up. Netzach still had the last laugh as he surely made various distressed faces in his attempts to lift the god-knows-how-many-kilos prosthetic body laid down on the floor in front of him.
As the state of emergency was lifted, yet the employees kept trying to break into the Safety Department, if less urgently…Angela stood where she was, right at Benjamin's side.
In the back of her awareness… a notification popped up
A percentage counter, once at zero for an amount of years so staggering it'd be impossible for a normal human to truly grasp… began to move.
Germination of the Seed of Light - 10%
The Fearlessness to keep on Living
"He succeeded." Her friend declared, his tone even, but with a tinge that betrayed the image of calm. "Against all odds, in spite of everything, he succeeded."
Angela looked at the scene, with the discarded E.G.O at the side. It was lucky that he'd cast it aside when he did. He was getting dangerously close to a Corrosion, and although such could likely be reversed by the TT2 Protocol… she didn't know if it'd have any aftereffects, anomalous memory persistence or not, they'd never been in a situation where Ayin was forced or otherwise saw fit to don E.G.O like an employee.
As Netzach and Ayin talked. Benjamin spoke up again. "It is good that you saw fit to intervene. Had it not been for that, he would have died. Of course, the K Corp ampoule was a great help, but so was the diluted Enkephalin, it's very likely things wouldn't have reached the resolution they did, even if he had somehow been able to take down the infected employee without your aid."
Angela shook her head. It was only natural. With her control over the facility, if she did all she could, she could change outcomes with such bleak outlooks that Ayin could only dream of bringing them under control. Not that she was allowed to do such.
Yet… she was still stuck in a single moment.
As Ayin begrudgingly took a breath and called out her name before thanking her.
It was not the first time since the strange incident where he began to believe himself to be someone else. It wasn't even the time he'd seemed to say it most earnestly either.
But the fact that he did so even after making it so clear just how much he loathed her… it left her with a sense of unease she couldn't clear.
"Benjamin… never do this again." Angela said, taking a breath, unnecessary as it was to her. "I don't know what you wanted to prove by putting Ayin in this situation, but-"
"Angela." Benjamin cut her off. "You can't fool yourself forever. I know you've noticed by now. You may avoid the facts if you please, but that is not only is that going to do you no good, it is also unfair- "
"Since when has he cared about fairness?" She shot at Benjamin, about to snap at him, but he simply raised a hand, unbothered by the outburst.
"Listen to them."
She had been, the entire time, it wasn't like she had a choice, if she wanted to make sure Netzach wasn't backsliding immediately after.
"This place will never be safe." Netzach remarked. "I think you know this too. It's not even a matter of everyone putting their best foot forward and doing everything we can, it's actually impossible."
"This place is just built that way." Ayin replied, shaking his head. "I…I know that."
"Mh, yeah. Although…" Netzach mused, as he looked at his hand. "I think… I want to believe it. That you might be right. That there might be something to scrounge up from the ashes after all. I want to believe in that…tiny, smallest speck of possibility that… maybe things can change."
As the two lapsed into silence, Ayin was looking Netzach over.
"What's wrong? Was this kind of… turnaround a bit unexpected?" Netzach asked, and Angela could hear both the mirth and also that smallest tinge of insecurity.
"Ah no, it's just..." Ayin sniffled and rubbed at his eyes.
He trailed off, looking uncomfortable for a moment before stretching out his arms and speaking with a strained voice. "Ah, shit. C'mon, gimme a hug, man."
Netzach was a stunned for a moment, which Ayin used to awkwardly wrap his arms around as much of the Sephirah as he could. After a while, Netzach sighed and awkwardly spoke up, saying. "Man, you're a real sap."
"Get off my back, man." Ayin wept and lightly punched the Sephirah's back, allowing the metallic clatter to finish before adding, "It's just... opening up is rough. Even when you feel like you..."
Netzach wrapped his arms around Ayin in return.
"Yeah... it's not really as easy as just doing it, is it?" He said as Ayin continued to cry.
The sight was downright surreal.
Netzach then added, "Honestly, in between that remark about your brother and mother and this, I think it should have been beyond obvious."
At the same time, Benjamin glanced at her and said. "Angela, it's time to face the facts."
His next words came at the same time as Netzach's.
"You really aren't him, huh?"
"That is not Sir Ayin."
Chapter 27: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.14 ~
Chapter Text
"You really aren't him, huh?"
Alphonse didn't break the hug even after Netzach spoke up. If anything, he felt as though he wanted to keep himself in that position for a while longer. Even still, he finally let go after a while.
"Yeah… I'm…" He spoke haltingly for a while before he took a breath. "I'm someone else."
Netzach stood in front of him, not really moving. It was difficult to tell what he was feeling, without a face to place any emotion with.
"Do you feel guilty about that?" Netzach asked, and Alphonse sighed. His own emotions seemed to have been writ large on his face.
"A bit. I feel like a voyeur." He admitted. "Getting in business that wasn't meant for me to get into and that aside, I…"
It was difficult to find his words, but Netzach allowed him enough time to finish the thought.
"It does make me feel a bit skeevy, just inserting myself in the place of the person 'he' is supposed to be." He finally managed to admit as he gestured towards himself tiredly. "Whenever I have to deal with the baggage between him and everyone, I can't help but feel frustrated, and on the rare occasion something nice happens to me that was meant for 'him'… it kills me inside, but I can't help but want to latch on to those moments regardless."
Placing a hand over his chest, where the letter from Benjamin rested inside his breast pocket, he let out a sigh. Netzach spoke up before Alphonse could.
"I get why you'd feel that way. And I know just saying you shouldn't feel that way doesn't do anything for it but..." The Sephirah sheepishly brought a metal hand behind his blocky body. "I think it's fine. Sure, it's unfair that you're not really the guy I knew, but… it's not like that's fair on you either. I think you know that, too."
Netzach sighed, looking at Alphonse.
"I've got no clue how you've ended up here, caught up in our Karma like this… but you're still trucking along, trying your best. Yeah, you weren't supposed to be here, but you're talking the talk and walking the walk. Maybe you're doing it because you have no choice, but you're still putting yourself out here, aren't you? You could be a whole lot more cold, but you're sharing how you feel instead. It seems to me like you're honestly giving it your best shot and trying to help us…"
Leaning over in what seemed like a nod, Netzach hummed tiredly.
"You're not him, but you're good, man. Hearing you pour your heart out, admit what you've been holding back, trying your level best to get through everything here… I can't help but feel guilty. And I also can't help but feel like, maybe… maybe I can give this my best shot, even if it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels."
Netzach stretched out his hand, and as Alphonse took the robotic hand, the Sephirah drew him into a brief hug. "You're fine, man. It doesn't matter if you're not him. I think everyone else would get it, too."
Alphonse took a deep breath and allowed the tension to leave him.
They both remained in silence for a while as they allowed things to settle down.
"So… where do we go from here?" Alphonse asked, a little ashamed of himself.
Netzach sighed, seemingly 'closing' his eye as the display showed only a thin line.
"Me, I have to clean up after myself. Get all the systems I was in charge of back up and running." He said, turning to look at the door and opening his eye. "As for you? The other employees are almost done breaking through the doors of the department, you probably need to get clear of here while they put the Abnormalities back in containment."
Alphonse couldn't help but feel a little anxious, but even so, he looked at the various eggs in the room, so reminiscent of the Abnormalities of the Department.
"Do you… know what happened, Netzach?" He asked, not entirely sure of if he should have. The man did seem to take his meaning as he looked at the eggs as well.
"Not really. Even back then, before I wasn't really as much of a part of the team and more of a…" Netzach trailed off and shook his body as if meaning just to shake his head. "No, I guess it'd be more useful to tell you that you're probably better off asking someone else. But as for the eggs, don't worry too much about it, that's just how Abnormalities look after suppression. If they don't seem that way through the screens in your office…I dunno what to tell you."
Alphonse let out a breath, then put a hand on Netzach's back. Or maybe it was the back of his head. It was hard to figure out how it felt for him with a body like that.
"Are you gonna be fine?" He asked. "Do you want to talk more about… stuff?"
Netzach shook and turned side to side.
"I think I'd like that, but…" Netzach looked back towards the elevator. "I think I just need some time alone first. This whole mess… it's done a whole lot more damage than just breaking some locks and stuff."
The Sephirah took a deep breath
"The corporation doesn't care that some people died in the incident, and I know I wouldn't have either in any other case." He finished as he looked towards the ceiling. "But not this time. This time, it's all actually my fault. I've actually ended up killing some people here myself. Doesn't matter if I wasn't… all there or not. It's something I need… time to take in."
Alphonse grimaced. Truth be told, it wasn't exactly the sort of thing he'd be supposed to take in stride, but with how things had been…
A loud metallic noise rang out. Probably people having finally broken into the department.
"Then… I'll leave you to process that." Alphonse remarked, letting go and moving towards the door.
He paused one step away from it. Something did arise within his mind, something that just struck at him for the briefest of moments, the tiniest recollection of a fact that should have always been clear to him.
"Hey." He turned back to look at the Sephirah, and once it was clear he had his attention, he asked. "What should I call you?"
The question did seem to strike into him, but after only a moment's worth of consideration, the answer came.
"I don't think I'm the same as I was back then. I don't think I'll ever be either." The man once known as Giovanni answered. "I'm Netzach. And you?"
"Alphonse." He said, nodding once.
Netzach hummed.
"Good to meet you, man. I'll see you later, Alphonse."
He nodded and turned to leave.
As the door opened, everyone stood there in shock for a couple seconds before a few clerks led him out and agents started filing into the room. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.
The smile on his face was subdued, yet blindingly warm.
It had been the first time he'd heard anyone calling him that.
Hokma stared at Angela with a single electronic eye, seeing as her face twisting and turning in ways he hadn't seen before, twisting every single synthetic muscle in her face so much it seemed like they were going to snap.
She was no different from a human in some regards. He knew of her absolute heartbreak as Ayin rejected her immediately as she was 'born', and he even knew what she looked like, with the faint hope as her one and only friend made vain promises that one day, things would be different. None of it compared to the fathomless depths of what she was experiencing now.
He closed his eye. After ten-thousand years, it was perhaps… only natural, that she would come to experience things with such a raw, caustic intensity.
"How?"
There were many questions contained in that single one. All of them, he could answer easily.
"How is it possible that this outsider hasn't caused everything to collapse and for the TT2 Protocol to reject him?" Hokma began slowly. "Sir Ayin was a true visionary, but even he acknowledged his own limits. The script and its conditions may seem prohibitively strict, but they are extremely loose, in truth. They have to be, by necessity."
Looking at Angela once more, he continued.
"This heaven, where one may try again and again, is not one where things shall repeat until all possibilities have been exhausted. It's one of truly infinite possibilities." Hokma remarked. "From the very beginning, he knew that. All sorts of Abnormalities would be extracted, some beyond our wildest imaginings. The script was designed such that even in the strangest of situations, things would continue apace so long as they could still hold the potential to reach his goal. The possibility that 'X' as you'd call him, might find his memories persisting, was considered."
He took a deep breath, looking aside.to the pocket watch in his hand.
"The idea of someone else stepping into his place…that, I don't believe was ever truly expected." Hokma added. "However, the fact of the matter is that even though he is not Sir Ayin, he is still following the path laid before him. He has not made decisions that would jeopardize the vision of the project, and thus for all intents and purposes…all safeguards recognize him as 'X'."
"The script says nothing of the sort, Benjamin!" Angela all but screamed, teeth bared as she threw her arm to the side. "There's no description or instructions saying anything about a situation even close to this!"
"Something doesn't need to be stated in a literal fashion to be said." The Sephirah replied unflinchingly. "Implications are more than enough, you know this already."
While she looked at him with naked hate. He did not hesitate to speak your mind.
"You simply decided to keep your eyes closed, when you should have opened them. It was simpler, was it not?"
Angela turned on her heel and immediately moved towards the elevator, not even speaking to him as she left.
Perhaps it was cruel, to say such, but they were not words Hokma would soon retract.
Now alone, he looked at the vast expanse of the Records Department, at its pale, silver steepled towers, whose feet were carved to resemble clouds, at its dark cobble floors, at the many clocks whose hands ticked on, yet told no time. The winged spire, floating in the air, whereupon the TimeTrack2 Protocol laid within an impenetrable layer of cold stone. And in the far distance, so far towards the unseen horizon that it almost seemed to fade, a massive white clock bearing the names of twelve unfortunate souls.
This was heaven, was it not? The one burrowed into Ayin's mind? All of their friends were there, everyone that once loved him. Was it not what he yearned for?
The answer, sadly, was clear; this was heaven, and in this place, where Ayin was nothing less than an almighty God, he thusly proclaimed, 'the wheel shall be broken'.
Hokma took what passed for a breath as he loudly snapped the pocket watch in his hand shut.
And Ayin was no more. The man before them had well and truly changed things beyond what anyone could have imagined, and took his guide and mentor away to a place of no return. Hokma would cast no blame for it, for none could be placed upon anyone, and all things happened through no one's fault.
Yet he would stand here. And he would mourn the loss of someone so extraordinary, day and night. He had all the time for it, and he would spend it such.
Until the day came to meet the unwilling, unknowing successor of her dream.
Angela walked through the halls, avoiding the Sephirah and employees as she wandered. Within her, something festered. There was an unpleasant sensation within her, striking at her core and letting it flow through her entire body, from the tip of her toes to her fingernails.
"What kind of sick joke is this!? What do you want from me!? Why am I still here!?"
His words came to the forefront of her mind. Rather, they couldn't possibly leave it. They assaulted her ears almost as if she were right there, hearing them in that very moment. They stung at her and further allowed what was building up inside of her to continue deteriorating.
It rankled her so much, to see him every day, every hour, every second, and having each moment engraved within her irrevocably.
"Am I insane, for thinking that what we do here is wrong? Or is it the world that's wrong?"
"Where do you get off talking about her like that? She's as much of a person as both of you fuckers."
"About earlier…I'm sorry. For not even looking you in the eye or greeting you earlier."
And all of it, in its entirety, was only further adding fuel to the fire. It only further stoked the flame and drove her further into the brink, yet only the brink of insanity. She could not fall to such a base, human annihilation of one's mind, she was physically incapable of that and would not be allowed even if she could, even if she wanted nothing more than to lose herself.
That was not Ayin.
That was not Ayin, so why was she only growing to hate him so much more?
She couldn't understand. That was only what she told herself. She knew very well why this was only making her seethe and rage, and it only came when the words she herself had spoken found themselves occupying her head.
"You did this to yourself. You think your hands are clean, manager? This entire, worthless endeavor was your idea."
"Shut up. Shut up. Do you think I'm going to accommodate you if you shout at me and cry like a baby? You could have done things better if you were able to use that?"
"Do you think this is some kind of joke? I have suffered through my duties, tolerated your incessant whining, your consistent failure to grow up and accept the reality of the situation and the way you talk behind my back. The very least you could do would be to be professional and do what you are supposed to do."
"Shut up already, you sanctimonious bastard!"
She hated him because he wasn't Ayin.
Finally, at long last, she had been afforded an opportunity like no other, to speak her mind in ways she couldn't before, and although she had to bend the knee every time, she could cast judgements, she could tell him to be silent, she towered over him in a way she hadn't before.
All that had brewed inside her for so many years finally found some release, only for it to turn out that she had been unleashing it upon someone who had absolutely nothing to do with Ayin. How was she not supposed to be furious at that? How could she not be—
"What else am I supposed to do? I have to do it, I'll have to grit my teeth and take the punches, because otherwise, I'll end up as a truly broken pile of nothing."
"As if you weren't going on about how my stupid sentimentality had to be beaten out of me a few days ago, at least stay consistent with it."
"I'm so tired of this, Angela. Is this really what we're doing? Look at me, damn you.".
How could she not feel absolutely mortified at this? He was no saint, no kindly stranger. As a matter of fact, he was still very much a pathetic little whiner, but… It was horrifying. She couldn't have done that.
She couldn't have and yet that was exactly what happened.
"Oh, what? You don't get it? Did you want me to start breaking it down bit by bit? Because I'm more than happy to oblige!"
"Did you just happen to be here or was there something you had to tell me?"
"When are you going to look me in the eye instead of tending to this little play of yours?"
And now she couldn't take any of it back. There were no do overs, no way to return back to how things used to be. It would all remain as it stood
"Angela?"
She stopped where she stood, reviewing everything she'd done since departing from the Records Department up until that very second. She could scarcely believe it, but she'd walked from there all the way up.to the upper layers of the facility. It didn't seem possible that her mind could have been so occupied that she hadn't even been paying attention, and more so for what to her was hours upon hours.
And yet she was there, in a corridor, with…him right in front of her, standing and looking at her.
For a moment, he didn't say anything, only staring at her with a raised brow. Then after an agonizingly long silence, he let out a breath, eyes lidded.
"I already said it, but I'll say it again." Alphonse remarked. "Thanks for the save. I don't think I could've made it if not for that."
Almost immediately after saying the words, he found himself scratching at the back of his head. It definitely felt weird to say it, especially given their recent fight, but having seen Angela in the corridor and taking in her posture, all wound up, with balled fists and her head hung low…
It was strikingly weird.
"Look, I…"
Angela took off without so much as a single word. No smug remarks, no snide mockery and not even a dismissal. She just walked past him and left the corridor. All he could do was stand and watch as the door opened and shut so quickly he almost thought she would be crushed beneath it.
Left alone, he stared at the door, before he took a deep breath.
While the vindictive part of him said that whatever she seemed to be going through in her head served her right…another did ask the question.
What was going through her mind in the first place?
Chapter 28: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.15 ~
Chapter Text
The day's work was, for all intents and purposes, canceled. The announcement came from Malkuth shortly after he'd left Netzach. Of course, clerks were still going to have to handle cleanup and repair work, but as for him and the vast majority of agents? They were free to do whatever they pleased.
He started with the most obvious course of action. Going back to his room, he took out the letter from his breast pocket and placed it beside the gramophone as he discarded his clothes and went into the shower.
With eyes closed, he took a breath and began washing himself. It was fairly therapeutic, all considered. Of course, he would have rather just had a nice, long soak in a bathtub, but that wasn't happening and besides, well…it just didn't seem right now.
With his head down as he rinsed, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the sharp spike, driven through his stomach.
He took a sharp breath and looked up suddenly enough that he felt a discomforting whiplash. Not even a second later, he felt an unpleasant churning within, before tasting the bile on his mouth.
Swallowing back, he let out a shaky breath. Closing his eyes again, he slowly settled at the bottom of the shower and sat down, knees almost coming up to his chest.
He laid there for a fair few moments, taking deep breaths, as the water kept running, falling down upon him without rest. After more and more time kept passing, a brash thought came to his head, and without opening his eyes, he slapped his belly.
Despite the small space, he managed to do it hard enough that he felt it stinging after the fact. He repeated the motion a couple times, allowing the sensation to settle in before nursing the area with a groan.
Opening his eyes, he saw...his stomach, just a little bit red, but otherwise just there, where it was.
He allowed himself to breathe, looking straight up and soaking there for a while.
Finishing up, Alphonse began drying himself up, and once sure he wouldn't just drip water all over the floor, he opened the door. He immediately let out a startled scream and hung onto his towel for dear life.
A person he'd never seen before was crouched in front of his discarded clothes, a bald man with skin pulled taut and with a corpse-like pallor, yet strangely slick, as though he'd been taken out of a vat of formaldehyde only a couple minutes ago. Several black studs sat in his skull, sunken in and wrapping the flesh around them with wrinkles, like spikes had been driven into his head, twisted and then trimmed and hammered further in.
His clothes were completely unlike those of any other employee, black with gold trimming, some of which some of which extended into hexagonal patterns on his jacket, with a similar one on one of the uniform's dark-gray sleeves.
"What the fuck are you doing in my room!?" Alphonse protested, stepping back. He only knew the man was staring at him because his head turned towards him, though his eyes were covered in a set of black bandages.
"As per company policy, I have come to take the remains of the commandeered E.G.O. for disposal." The man responded, and Alphonse couldn't help but gag upon looking at his yellowed teeth and disturbingly white gums. His tone was entirely flat, a stilted tone that made him seem like a robot. As a matter of fact, even Angela radiated more heat from her voice than the ghoulish person in front of him.
As off kilter as he'd been thrown by the sudden appearance of the man, a part of him told him he should have figured. The shirt and pants were still very much part of an E.G.O Suit, and even though most of it had been ruined beyond repair, it was only right that the full thing would be secured rather than left unattended.
He could still hear the echoes of whispers drilling into his head; if not for the fact that it was so clearly dangerous, he'd have asked to be allowed to keep the massive matchstick as a memento.
"Just grab them and get the fuck out." He commanded, and the man immediately went back to work, tossing aside the garments that weren't part of the E.G.O with jerky and sudden motions. "Get out!" Alphonse yelled even more forcefully when he saw the man laying the suit's remnants on the ground and starting to fold them up. Fortunately, the uncanny man spared him and just bundled them together before moving right on out of his room.
Standing where he was for a couple more seconds, he breathed out and shook his head.
Looking around the room, nothing seemed out of place, with the letter still where he left it and everything else perfectly fine, and once done, Alphonse moved to his closet.
Frankly, despite his complaints about privacy, he'd never felt quite as invaded as he was at that very moment.
Alphonse took a while to rest up and tried napping, but given the rather discomforting encounter a while back, he felt more restless than anything. It irked him to no end and took most of his headspace for a good, long while.
At the very least, until he started to feel peckish and just decided to head over to the mess hall to grab something. It was a rather quiet trip, all considered, but the second he crossed the door, he saw that there was a massive hubbub in the room, with people speaking quite loudly.
"Boss!" Isabel immediately yelled, jumping out of her seat.
Everyone present immediately shut up and turned to look at him. The various staff, agents or otherwise, all stared at him such that the sudden attention made him recoil, both in surprise and slight dread. Their faces were all full of expectation and curiosity, stifling in their intensity in a way his first appearance at the mess hall couldn't compare.
As the unseen pressure began to mount further, he saw Yum-Yum rising from his seat, a faint smile on his face before he started clapping. After him Arang, followed by agent after agent in quick succession until the whole room started clapping.
Caught in the moment with absolutely no idea as to how to even feel at the starkly sudden celebration, he was ushered towards the usual table.
"Manager, good to see you finally arrived." Arang said with a nod.
"What's uh…what's all this?" Alphonse asked as he looked between the agents nervously.
A number of people started to file away and go back to their own business, while seeming to keep an eye out, when Isabel spoke up. "Well we've more or less heard what happened, and we gotta say, that's pretty amazing! Never thought I'd see the day a big shot in a Wing would get his hands in all the muck."
Blinking, Alphonse took a breath. It was a rather major incident, given the involvement of one of the Sephirah, the 'machines' at the head of the Departments. It only made sense that it'd catch everyone's attention.
"What did you guys even hear?" Alphonse asked, brow raised.
"Eh, we'll get into it, but first…" Isabel replied with a smile before turning around to look at the kitchens past the serving line. "Oi! Chef! What's the best you can get our manager?
Chef Rino peeked out of the doorframe and yelled back. "Anything! Literally! We're stocked with so much stuff! I've been dying to whip something up with it when I've been stuck here making the same slop as ever for weeks! I didn't get a degree in culinary arts just to be forced to cook beans and mashed potatoes!"
"Wait, why the fuck are you cooking beans and mashed potatoes if we have stuff for better food then?" Someone asked, though Alphonse couldn't see them past the mass of agents gathered around him.
"Why are you blaming me!? I'm just stuck making what it says on the menus I'm sent every day! Put that on whoever wrote them!" The Chef yelled back at the squawker, before turning his attention on Alphonse. "Order up, boss! Beef stroganoff, sushi, käsespätzle, lobster thermidor, bossam, anything! I'll even make cheeseburgers, just let me serve something different!"
Though Alphonse was still off kilter, he opened his mouth, only to shut it a second after. He hadn't really seen the kitchen's inside, but he very much doubted they had the equipment to set up a trompo and make tacos al pastor, so he took a while longer to really think it over.
"Screw it, how's risotto and…uh something with cheese?" He asked tentatively.
Chef Rino immediately began complaining about the lack of specificity, and after a loud back and forth, he went back into the kitchen, barking orders to everyone to prepare some mushroom risotto and a spinach soufflé.
Quietly allowing the moment to pass him by, he looked back between his agents and asked, "So what did you all hear about the incident? I was at ground zero for all this, then immediately went to rest, so would you mind catching me up, here?"
"There was an announcement of a…Manifestation of Qlipha, or something." Yum-Yum answered, shaking his head. "Couldn't tell you what that meant, it's not in the manuals, but it's something related to the Sephirah breaking down somehow? We still don't know, but still, we were left waiting for our orders from you until Malkuth took over."
"And surprise, surprise! Turns out you were locked up in Safety, which was clearly where all this was going on." Isabel remarked with a cheeky shrug. "As soon as that happened, the day's work got put on the wayside to try and get you out of there, because we heard that crazy stuff was happening, like the Abnormalities all escaping, when two of them can't even move out of containment."
"Something like that… yeah." Alphonse remarked sheepishly.
"Indeed. And it was to our understanding that we'd be breaking into the department and fighting immediately, due to the danger of the situation." Arang remarked, arms crossed, "Yet lo and behold, the situation was resolved before we even managed to breach the department's doors, I'm sure you can imagine our surprise at that."
"And that!" Isabel leaned back on her chair, wildly gesticulating in the air with her hands. "Of all people, out of everyone that was in the department," She pointed directly at Alphonse. "You were the guy that got it all under control."
"I wouldn't say I got it under—"
"Boss, you stripped the E.G.O off of someone and immediately jumped right into it!" Isabel cut him off. "That's not something someone in your position does, what they do is sit there and cry because they're supposed to be so big and strong behind their office chair and then die."
The agents all around affirmed the belief with various 'aye's, 'yeah's and 'that's right's.
"But you, boss? You had the massive balls to crack your knuckles, do some stretches, then get on your feet and say 'fuck it, let's go' instead." Isabel kept hyping up his actions. "How're we supposed to react to that, if not cheering because you've actually gotten your feet wet in what we do? And actually apparently beat up the Abnormalities, three on one with just a fucked up, broken E.G.O Weapon?"
Once again, the agents cheered loudly in light of what Isabel was saying.
"So how's about you stop looking so dour? You really outdid yourself boss!" Isabel exclaimed, this time getting off her chair before putting her leg up on her seat. "C'mon everyone! Give it up for the Wings' one and only manager that actually gets up and gets shit done on our level! Hip hip!"
The crowd exploded into a united yell of 'hooray!', and Isabel once again rallied them to speak it loud and clear with another 'hip hip'.
The cries of acclaim shook him to his very core, raucous and unceasing as they were.
And yet, even still, there was much that was left unsaid, not even a second of acknowledgment for the dead, not a single question asked in regards to what happened with Netzach and how he actually went about stopping him, and not even a curious glance at his trembling hands, even when he was the center of attention.
In that moment, he sat alone with a crowd.
Chapter 29: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.16 ~
Chapter Text
Angela was less than pleased, yet had no choice but to move along, step by step, towards the manager's office. The anticipation was dragged out so thoroughly with each motion of her feet that she wanted to reverse her steps and simply leave.
But needs must when the devil drives, unfortunately. Though she did not want to step into the room, she had little choice in the matter. The script stood above her wishes and those of everyone else, the slip of paper in her hands was proof of that.
As the door opened, she froze up for a fraction of a second. The pause was much longer to her than it was for the man seated at the desk, yet as it continued moving on, she found the familiar countenance twisting. The look he gave her felt revolting, even though it was not something of a gross character.
It was, as far as she was concerned, one of pity.
"Angela…" He spoke, uncharacteristically soft with his tone for a moment, enough to twist something inside her, before he took a breath and shook his head, speaking as he always did thereafter. "It's been a hot minute since I last saw you coming here."
She would have much rather not come here if she could have helped it.
"Egh, whatever." The man's expression soured and he looked away from her, leaving her blinking for a moment before she realized she'd actually said that out loud. "Back to business as usual for us, I suppose."
"Business as usual." Angela remarked, taking a deep breath and settling for a moment.
Yes, ultimately…it didn't matter, did it?
She was beginning to understand what she'd experienced only a day ago, the crisis which led her to lose herself, however briefly, and leave nothing but a gnawing pit inside her. The man, the one that supplanted Ayin…it was humiliating to realize that she'd gone and told him so many things meant for Ayin. So many opinions decidedly formed from their interactions, rancid as each and every single one had become after a point, certainly poisoned any sort of…anything, that she could think of.
Appalled as she was, however, this was where they stood. In his own words, their relationship was one of mutual abject loathing. It couldn't be anything other than that. She went through the possibilities in her head time and time again, and in the end, the conclusion was more than obvious; it couldn't have gone any other way. The facility and the script which governed what was permissible and what wasn't, it was all just built to make the man in the chair suffer, and even if she were to somehow have made a perfect first impression and acted the part of victim with a remark or two…everything would conspire such that she would be the villain that sought to bring him low.
Perhaps, if he'd met her at the start of all this, before she'd grown so disgusted with all that there existed in the facility…no, such considerations were not something she would entertain. 'What if's did not exist for her, only what was. Only cold, hard reality.
"Well…whatever." The man took a breath, then continued. "So what is it this time? Going off to meet…Tiphereth since I didn't yesterday?"
"...It is something you ought to do, yes." Angela responded, taking a breath before putting the folded slip of paper on his desk and sliding it towards him. "However, before that, this is for you."
The man raised a brow as he took it in hand, leaning back on his chair and unfolding the slip. It didn't take long for her to spot the look of surprise on his face, but it was quickly replaced by a simmering rage as he bared his teeth, his hands starting to crumple the paper.
"What a load of shit." He remarked with a low growl, setting down the letter as he did.
Angela didn't presume to know him, and hardly could at that point, but that reaction felt fairly pronounced, given the contents. She had read them many times over, across countless repetitions, but even still, it didn't make sense to get angry over them.
Just as her eyes lowered, she spied the words upon the paper, and though she didn't wish to read them at first, something immediately caught her eye and drew her full attention towards the letter. She took a step back and flinched as they burned themselves into her retinas and the mind they would be stuck in.
To the new manager, Alphonse:
Reeling as she already was, she could still hear the man call out her name momentarily, but she was too distracted by the rest of the contents.
I've heard of your work since you joined the corporation, as well as the various trials and tribulations you've faced thus far. I would like to congratulate you on your steadfast determination to keep going, in spite of any distress you might be feeling.
Although you will not find me here at this time, I believe there may come a day when we will meet face to face. It is my hope that you may find yourself at ease from all the burdens you find on your shoulders, regardless of if that day arrives or not, and find fortune favoring you.
Keep up the good work and may you prosper and flourish, just as you are helping Lobotomy Corporation do the same.
Kind regards.
A, CEO of Lobotomy Corporation.
"What is it?" The man asked, flinching back slightly when she turned to glare at him.
It was all too similar, with the larger message remaining the same, but the wording wholly different, enough to make it clear the message was not sticking to the mold, enough to make clear that the last Sephirah was observing them, ever so keenly.
Turning around, she ignored the manager as she turned and left.
Without even a word directed towards her, she could feel Ayin pressing down upon her with crushing pressure.
A couple minutes after the relatively uneasy interaction with Angela, Alphonse got up and began moving out of his office. He had a lot to deal with, given how he missed out on a whole day of work, even if not through any fault of his own; the Extraction team even brought out two new Abnormalities without even asking him which one to pick.
Not that choosing would help him, when he didn't know what he'd be working with in the first place, but it was the principle of it.
With his constantly bleeding hand in his labcoat's pocket, he descended further than he'd ever done before in his tenure, finding his way to a room he hadn't seen before, at least in person. At the side there was a table with a holographic crescent moon and clouds floating above it, and something of a table monitor. He ignored the various other odds and ends and approached the main feature smack down the center, a glass tube with a sliding door; the elevator that would lead him from the upper layer of the facility to its middle layer.
When Alphonse got on the elevator and it began to lower him, he mused a bit on how weird and inconvenient it was that the only way to access the middle layer was through a singular elevator. Yes, a chokepoint was good when it came time to suppress Abnormalities, but it also felt rather inconvenient and inconsistent that there were no connections in the Safety and Training teams to whatever other layers were at the bottom.
As he descended further and further, the lights dimmed until he could barely see his surroundings, and just before he was left in complete darkness, the elevator reached a dimly lit antechamber. Disconcerting though it was, it was barely a blip compared to what he saw when he stepped out.
"What the fuck?" he muttered in silent awe.
It was difficult not to be struck dumb by the sight of the absolutely massive space before him and the sheer contrast to the rest of the facility. When he walked through other departments, the aesthetic was evocative of a submarine or a bunker, with some parts here and there that evoked a clear mysticism that he was not blind to.
The Central Command Department completely did away with the first part so thoroughly that he could hardly believe it was part of the same building.
The vaulted dome above him stretched so far up that, by all rights, it should have infringed on the floor space of the department above it. The physically impossible dome did not care for matters of scope or clearance, instead concerning itself with being decorated with massive reliefs reminiscent of clouds or mist and displaying strange, abstract frescoes that he couldn't make out properly.
Alphonse himself stood upon a bridge, one with a railing only barely above waist height, keeping him and everyone else from falling off it. Looking over, he could see various other bridges leading to a number of corridors, but none passing straight through the middle of the department, letting him see all the way to the bottom, where an ornate golden cross stood on a pedestal, surrounded by various contraptions. A wave of nausea washed over him as he saw movement and realized that those were the clerks' workstations, and they were so far away that he could barely make them out.
Those were all the large scale details of it. The rest hurt his eyes from the sheer level of visual overload. The place was ostentatious, grossly baroque to the point that his eyes glazed over most of it, lest he found himself staring and trying to make out all the intricate details of the decor. Carved pillars of yellowed marble and ostentatious gold filigree, embossings of the same kind all over every part of the room that wasn't a walking space, massive banners stretching from one end of the gargantuan room to the other, all reddish orange silk, richly decorated with gold trimming, floral brocades with a variety of embroidered patterns ranging from fleurs de lys to crowns.
Hell, now that he was looking closer at them, the fucking pipes that carried Enkephalin were all engraved with various floral patterns as well. Central command proved to be the definition of too much all in a singular glance
"Hey! Snap out of it!"
A voice called out to him from behind, and he turned to look, only to get distracted by even more engravings and filigrees on the archways of the antechamber he came from, with the most striking being a fully colored embossing of a blond cherub, standing with their arms stretched out and with pink-tinted wings pointed downwards. Blood poured from its chest, where a hole could be found where its heart should have been.
"Hey! Move your head down! Look at me when I'm speaking!"
Distracted as he was by everything, he focused on the girlish voice speaking to him and looked down, immediately being struck by what he looked at.
A pair of blond children, both around 10 years old, were staring at him. Both wore the same ensemble consisting of a chestnut colored tartan skirt, shawl and boots, a white shirt with puffy sleeves that narrowed and were held at the wrists with a small dark brown strap before coming out in frills, a brown ribbon holding the shawl together and another atop their heads.
"Tiphereth, there's no need to yell." One of the children spoke up, his hair cut short, almost like a bobcut, and his tone serene as his deep green eyes stared at the other one.
"Of course I'm going to yell at him, Tiphereth!" The other child, with hair that flowed down all the way to the middle of her calves, huffed as she stamped down her foot on the marbled floor. "He didn't even come for the meeting yesterday! I don't care if it was a tough day or not, the very least he could do would be to have the decency to come tell us it wasn't a good time after the incident!"
She turned and looked at him, olive eyes staring right at him as if trying to be threatening as she pointed a finger at him. "Am I clear, manager!? You may have at least proven you're not totally worthless by making it this far, but I'm not going to go easy on you just because of it!"
Alphonse found himself with a knot around his throat, unable to do more than simply make a sound which barely passed for one of affirmation as he nodded.
Giovanni and Netzach as he saw him through the cognition filter seemed largely the same, as far as physical appearance went. Looking upon the two children, he couldn't help but feel a deep sense of apprehension and indignation as a thought crossed his mind.
Were these actually just straight up children shoved into robotic bodies, too?
If nothing else, it seemed like he'd kept the worst of his reaction from showing. Or at the very least, the girl did not care as she huffed again and began walking off. The boy instead just nodded and moved his head slightly, motioning him to follow. When Alphonse did so, the boy kept pace with him.
"I'm sure you could guess, but my name's Tiphereth." The boy said with a calm, languid tone. "My sister is also Tiphereth."
The girl crossed her arms as she kept moving forward, "In case it isn't obvious, we're twins and we're both in charge of the Central Command Team. Since the department is so big, it's up to the two of us to take care of everything. Likewise, it's pointless to try and differentiate between us, since whatever one of us does will always find its way back to the other."
Alphonse held back on any remarks and on his concerns, feeling as though they'd get dismissed out of hand, instead taking a moment to breathe and ask. "And what is it that Central Command handles, exactly?"
"You should know this already! Are you stupid or just lazy?" The girl snapped back at him, picking up the pace right after. As she did, her brother chose to speak up.
"Our job is to supervise all the departments and research in the facility." He said with a slow nod. "We review everyone's performance, oversee planning, approve the training manuals, and…"
As the boy began to trail off a bit, the girl coughed into her fist and continued.
"Our team is basically in charge of all the busywork and approval processes that keep the facility running in the long term." She summarized, "Malkuth may have the authority to boss everyone around, but we are the ones actually in charge."
Somehow, her tone faltered. It wasn't hard to pick up on how it sounded less like she was haughtily declaring that, and more was stating a fact, though he couldn't quite tell what brought it on. It didn't last long, however, as she turned around and jabbed a finger at him.
She ended up poking his stomach, so she stood on her toes to actually reach his chest and then said.
"Here's a word of advice, don't you ever treat me like one of those Upper Layer Sephirot you've had to deal with." She said and jabbed him again for emphasis. "They're all a bunch of idiots who are only good at pretending to be busy when they don't even have all that much work in the first place, we are nothing alike, so don't you underestimate me or any of my expectations, got it!?"
"I'm sure you'll do fine, manager." The brother said, nodding once. "I think you'll be doing well, even if it's difficult."
"Tiphereth! We have to be stern, strict and stoic!" The sister turned to look at him and put her hands on her hips. "Don't go easy on him! It's not our job to coddle him!"
As the brother calmly tried to cool the air, Alphonse heard heavy, metallic steps. Turning his head, he soon found the source of the sound.
Netzach stepped forward, carrying a folder under his arm. His eye turned to look at Alphonse before he seemingly nodded at him. He could not tell anymore what his expression was supposed to be, now that he was looking at the man without the cognition filter and only saw him for his boxy exterior, but somehow…he was getting the impression that he was smiling at him.
"Morning, man." Netzach spoke lethargically, approaching further and then regarding the children. "Hey, Tiphereth."
The sister immediately growled and crossed her arms, angrily looking over at the Safety Team's Sephirah without saying anything.
"Hi, Netzach." The brother replied.
"Mh. Been doing well, kiddos?" Netzach asked.
"Don't call me that, you leaky tin can!" The sister snapped back, crossing her arms and impatiently tapping her foot against the ground. "At least you had the decency to clean up and not drip Enkephalin all over my floor, but that's all I'll give you." She pointed a finger at the folder under his arm, "And that better be the plan for the joint operation drill between Safety and Central Command, it's been overdue by three whole days!"
With a seemingly lidding eye, Netzach let out a weary sigh, grabbing the folder and presenting it towards her. "Matter of fact, it is. Here, give it a look over."
Tiphereth snatched it out of his hands with a huff, "Yeah right, I bet I'll have to rewrite the entire thing from scratch!" She opened the file and was beginning to skim it over as she kept badmouthing Netzach. "Typical. Do you know how much time you cost us yesterday? I had a meeting with the manager, and after you threw a hissy fit we had to…"
The girl slowly trailed off, looking over at the page once, then twice, then turning to the next one. Then the next one. Then she went back to the first one and looked it over again.
"So?"
Alphonse could hear the slightest tinge of smugness in Netzach's voice, after which, the brother giggled.
"See, Tiphereth?" He said. "Netzach can work fine when he's motivated. I know you know that."
"It's passable." Tiphereth growled out. "Results aren't the problem here, though, and you know it Tiphereth! Lady Angela goes too easy on all these Upper Layer louts."
The mention of Angela made Alphonse flinch, however briefly, before...
"Mh hm. I'm riiiiiiight here, you know?" Netzach drawled, and that was finally enough for Alphonse to lose his composure and snort.
"Hey! Why are you laughing!" Tiphereth turned on him. "You better not enable this junkie any further!"
Alphonse took a deep breath and shook his head.
"Look, I know we've got our obligations and all, but lay off him, just for the time being, okay? Manager's orders." Alphonse spoke up, immediately pulling rank. "That 'hissy fit' didn't end with us going in circles. Give Netzach a chance."
"Yeah, I'm trying to put in some effort, from here on out." Netzach said, taking a deep breath and crossing his arms. "I've not been this sober for a long time. It sucks, man."
"Sorry, but you'll have to deal." Alphonse replied with a laugh and a shrug
Rather than start yelling and complaining, the girl just seemed…discomforted for a moment, at least until she passed her brother the file, then crossed her arms and turned away with a huff.
"Fine, I will! But if I find out you're slacking off, I'll take you to task like never before!" She retorted, all grump but no bite. "Same goes for you, manager! Come on, Tiphereth, we've got work to do!"
"Okay." The brother replied, and the sister began walking away. Turning to look at them, Tiphereth bowed slightly. "Goodbye, manager. Goodbye, Netzach. I hope you two do well."
Manager and Sephirah both bid the child goodbye and he soon began trotting off to catch up with his sister, leaving the two of them alone.
Moments after they were seemingly out of earshot, Alphonse let out a deep breath.
"Fucking Christ…" He muttered, putting a hand on his face and only realizing a moment after that it was the one with the slit wrist, making him flinch.
"Looking at you, it's pretty easy to tell you were holding back on a lot." Netzach remarked.
"No shit, man. There's so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start." He replied while using the sleeve of his other arm to wipe the wet drops that he placed on his face.
All the bite and bluster were hardly what was on his mind. Tiphereth was a child, a prickly one that was quick to insult others, but still a child. So even though her words were harsh, they slid right off of him, and hoped that Netzach did the same.
No, what was really bothering him was just…what the fuck they were doing in a place like this? The idea was sickening. What for? Why do something as deranged as shoving a pair of kids into an unending time loop of death and torture of such unconscionable scale?
He knew that, one way or the other, he would not like the answer to that question when he found it.
Chapter 30: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.17 ~
Chapter Text
The next day, Alphonse woke early. He couldn't help it. He felt rather restless after yesterday. It was hectic, given he had a whole new four Abnormalities to handle, and no clue as to what they did. Much to his fortune, they seemed relatively tame, as far as Abnormalities went. One was a tool, a weird machine with a screen flipping between 'Yes' and 'No'. He had no rush to figure out more how it ticked so he largely ignored it. The other was cherry blossom which seemed to be able to hypnotize the employees and draw them to its chamber, but it didn't seem to have too strong a hold on them, so whatever else it might have been able to do to them didn't come to pass. He didn't want to figure it out regardless.
Then there was that odd mass that cost him an agent, which Isabel had taken to calling "the star". It didn't look like one to him, more just like a heart, black and with a glowing blue outline. And coming out of…somewhere behind it, were legs, legs and more legs, all a dark silver color. Just based on how much Enkephalin he got out of it, he guessed it might be a WAW at the very least. It didn't seem to be doing anything, thankfully enough, so he decided not to poke it and leave it well alone unless a Qliphoth Meltdown started.
The one that did end up making a whole mess of things was a tiny little robot, allegedly meant for cleaning. It was a white ovoid on spindly metal legs, with red eyes and a friendly smile.
The damned thing extended out all of its limbs, revealing it had knives for hands and proceeded to 'clean' through a whole line of clerks and nearly did the same to two agents before it was suppressed.
Without counting losses due to the ordeals, it wasn't great. Counting them too, it was a bad day.
Adding the whole thing about Tiphereth and how he felt about that? Yes, it definitely didn't help.
Thus awake and rather unable to fall back asleep, he took a breath and began his morning routine far earlier. With everything taken care of, he was left alone, with nothing to do other than mull about things. He was having a rough time of it, unable to really sort his thoughts into something coherent.
Alphonse sighed lightly. Had he been back home, he would have surely shared his thoughts with his friends, but now, he was utterly…
A thought struck him rather suddenly, and he slapped himself when it came to him. He wasn't alone.
The trip down to Safety was pretty quiet, which hardly surprised him, given the workday was a couple hours off.
Arriving at the main room, he stopped for a moment, staring at the elevator door on the other end of the room. What pause it gave him, he tried to knock out of himself by lightly punching himself in the gut and letting out a breath.
"Hey."
Alphonse certainly didn't squawk in surprise as he turned and saw Netzach lying against a wall. As the Sephirah chuckled at his reaction, he groaned and scratched at the back of his head, sheepishly looking away.
"What's brought you here, man? It's way too early for anything." Netzach asked, and as he did, Alphonse moved towards him.
"Just feeling restless is all." He said, taking a seat on the floor right next to his cuboid friend. "I'm a little overwhelmed, and…"
He grumbled for a moment before glancing at Netzach.
"Sorry man, I know you have your own shit to deal with, but I feel like I've gotta vent a little." Alphonse admitted. "And that aside, I also wanted to know how you were doing, I didn't have time for a real check in, yesterday and-"
"Yeah, yeah. Don't sweat it, man." Netzach waved him off, letting out a breath. "That's how the cookie crumbles here most of the time."
Alphonse couldn't help but feel kind of embarrassed for a moment, but that feeling was rather overshadowed by the shivering timbre of Netzach's voice when he let out that breath.
"You, uh…" Alphonse wracked his brain for an elegant way to say what he wanted to, and almost slapped himself when the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "doin' alright, lately? Feeling okay?"
Netzach seemingly shook himself in negative, leaning back as he stared at the ceiling.
"You know, I never really cared about the whole debate." Netzach started, letting out a heavy breath. "About prosthetics, I mean."
"Uh…sorry man, I'm a little lost on what you mean by that." Alphonse replied with a shake of his head. "I don't really know about it. Or about most things from the City, really."
"Huh, really?" Netzach turned to look at him, seemingly curious, "Did you live in the Outskirts?"
"There's uh…you know what, that's probably a whole ass other conversation that needs unpacking, man." Alphonse sighed and shook his head. He hadn't really gotten into the whole thing about where he came from, but now didn't seem like a good time. After a second he rolled his hand in a circle. "So like…the debate?"
"Hm, yeah. It's a whole thing." Netzach continued, sighing again. "Lots of strong opinions about…like, the human experience and all that."
Netzach pounded on his midsection with a metallic fist, the banging sound ringing out harshly on Alphonse's ears.
"Whole debate going on and I didn't really care about it. Never really saw it as my problem, you know?" The Sephirah continued. "But you know what? I think the people against prosthetics saying that it cheapens what it means to be human may have their points, but they're also full of shit." He gave another shivering breath. "I don't think the shakes are any less real while I'm stuck as a tin can."
Alphonse grimaced and looked at the floor, focusing on a particular rivet like it was the only thing in the world as he tried not to make too much of an ass of himself.
"Fuck, man. I don't know a whole lot about withdrawal other than that it can get really nasty." Alphonse said. "Anything I can do to help you?"
"Honestly, just start venting, man." Netzach sighed. "I'll live, and I could use the company. Helps a bit."
Alphonse sighed, nodding along.
"Thanks man." He said, then looked at the ceiling. "I'm just…really not happy about Tiphereth. The rest of the problems yesterday? Par for the course, much as we hate to say it. But a pair of kids being trapped here? They barely look like they're ten to me. What the fuck are they doing here? That's just a sick joke."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny." Netzach argued whilst in agreement, and then lapsed into silence.
Alphonse agreed with that much, but before he could get a chance to say anything else, the Sephirah started again.
"It's not great, I'll agree. Li-" Netzach cut himself off, groaning loudly. "The sister… I could see why she'd be here. If I'm right about what's going on here, at least, but even if I was, it doesn't really explain to me what the brother is doing here."
Netzach seemingly wiped his 'brow', before continuing.
"The fact that he's even here…" he murmured, though loud enough that Al could hear him. "It doesn't line up. Makes no sense, even if he kept the kid's original body. I'm not big into tech, but even I can tell the brother couldn't have been shoved into a body like this after what happened to him. Hell, it's a wonder there was enough left to make me."
Alphonse took a breath, taking a moment to process what Netzach was saying.
"The brother was part of the whole… experiment with this 'Cogito' substance, wasn't he?"
Netzach put a hand on his forehead, letting out a deep breath.
"I have my guess on what's going on here, so I'm being careful with my words." The Sephirah said. "Dunno if I have to keep a lid on certain things."
"That's fair enough. Benjamin was also afraid of that, and he knew a lot of what was going on." Alphonse admitted, putting his hands over his knees. "But he said that, as long as it's all information I could reasonably infer, we're probably in the clear."
Netzach seemed breathless for a couple seconds, until he spoke up.
"Benjamin is here too?" He asked, surprised.
"Was." Alphonse replied, allowing his bitterness to show through. "Odds are he's dead at this point, but…"
But he'd be back. Again and again, unless Alphonse found a way to put an end to the endless loop they'd all found themselves trapped in.
Taking another breath, Alphonse spoke up.
"He told me what he could and what I needed to hear." He said, gingerly taking out the letter from his breast pocket. "I know it wasn't…entirely meant for me, specifically, but it's helped me a lot, these days."
Netzach observed the slip of paper, still folded and unopened. It seemed like he was going to say something for a moment, but stopped himself.
"Man…" Netzach lamented, looking at the floor. "You really aren't gonna have it easy."
"Preaching to the choir, brother." Alphonse remarked with a sigh. "Still, understanding what's going on here will help a lot. Trial and error will make up the other half."
Placing the letter back inside his breast pocket, he took a deep breath and turned to look over at the wounded hand, staring at the bloody bandages and the red trail on his clothes.
"I still don't have the clearest picture yet, but I can tell. All the Sephirah were people related to the past of the guy I'm supposed to have been." He added as he turned his hand over. "All part of the whole…research surrounding this thing, that much is easy to figure. Specifics are all a haze to me, though, but if I just make it a little bit further, I think I'll get all the answers I need."
"And what comes after that?" Netzach asked.
Alphonse put his fingers over his eyes.
"Fuck if I know. That's something that's eating at me." Alphonse groaned. "You saw how things went between us, I can't imagine how they'll go with these kids. What am I supposed to do or say to them?"
"I can't really picture it either," Netzach replied plainly. "But knowing what happened, I can tell you right now that you'll probably need more than earnest sincerity."
"I can imagine, I…" Alphonse paused, struggling for words. "It all came to me. Images of the past. They really fucked Giovanni up. From what you've told me, I can't imagine the brother did any better."
The silence felt heavily upon them as Netzach seemed to speak up.
"If I'd known how things would go, I think I'd have traded places with him." Netzach said out loud. "Then at least-"
"Don't finish that sentence." Alphonse forcefully cut in, feeling a tightness in his throat he didn't realize until he spoke up. A moment later, he continued. "Just don't. I'm also not all clear on what happened with…" He lifted the bloody hand up, not even able to vocalize for a moment, until he skipped ahead and said. "I know it fucked everyone up, but…don't finish that thought, it doesn't change what happened, and even if it could have, there's no guarantee it'd have lead to some perfect world where..."
Alphonse ground his teeth as his body fought him every step of the way. Though perhaps, that was just it; his body was fighting Alphonse, not even allowing him to speak about 'her', even without knowing her name or face.
At the very least, Netzach seemed to understand exactly what he wanted to say, so rather than press further to try and say it, he just moved on.
"What if's aren't going to help you any, you shouldn't let them take root. I know damn well what it's like, even if my problems weren't ever that extreme compared to…all this."
Netzach looked at him in silence, a fair few seconds passing before he let out a breath.
"Yeah, I guess. It's…it's hard to tell what was going through everyone's heads at the time. The brother's, especially." The Sephirah said as he looked over at his hands. "I'm not gonna dance around it. I'm pretty sure you're meant to help us all with our issues. How you're supposed to do that, I don't know, but I know those two are going to be some of the toughest, given everything. We all got dealt an awful hand, but they both had it real bad."
Alphonse took a breath, nodding along with Netzach's words.
"Yeah…yeah, it sounds like it." He said, clasping his hands together. "I'll figure it out as I go. I only hope I can put them at ease without completely bungling it."
"Same." Netzach agreed as he took a look at the ceiling again. "But…I feel like that's going to take a while. You just met them, after all. What are you gonna do in the meantime?"
"From here to there? I dunno. I wanted to talk with Yesod more about Abnormalities, but he hasn't given me the time of day. Might have to set up a formal meeting just so he actually lets me talk to him." Alphonse remarked, crossing his arms. "Other than that, apparently Angela is going to let me know a lot more of what's going on once we hit 27 days. That should help me figure out more of what I need to get done, hopefully."
As the silence settled between them, Alphonse groaned and sheepishly scratched at his head.
"Okay, now that I'm saying it out loud, that doesn't really sound like much of a plan." He admitted. "But it's a start. I think being spontaneous is partly a good thing. If I were going in with a fully plotted plan, I doubt I could have talked things out properly with you."
"Fair enough, man. I'm not gonna twist your balls over that." Netzach nodded, remaining prone right where he was.
Something came to mind as he remained where he was, idling away the time in that position. It didn't seem all that important in a way, and yet the question just seemed to find its way to his mind.
"Hey, Netzach…?" Alphonse asked, feeling a bit unsure of if he should have even begun. Unfortunately, the Sephirah had already heard him and focused on him, and thus…
"Yeah?"
Thus he was forced to complete the thought regardless. After a tired breath, he asked his question.
"What's with Angela?" He asked, a little bit unsteady, but finding his footing. "What's her deal? There's a lot I don't really…get about what's going on with her."
Netzach seemed to close his eye, taking in the air. With hardly another word for what felt like minutes.
"I don't know." He admitted, "I really don't know. Angela…she wasn't part of the team. With how cold she is, I wouldn't mistake her for anyone else, even if she resembled them."
Seeming to consider his words for a while longer, Netzach continued, "I can tell the whole group all met a terrible end, but I don't know how it happened for everyone. Giovanni was one of the first ones, so whatever happened after that, I don't know. If you wanted to know when she came into the picture you'd have to ask her yourself."
"Fat chance, she'd probably just blow me off." Alphonse remarked with a grimace, sweeping a hand in front of him. "All I know is…"
All he knew was…a little factoid that he'd mostly ignored. Not because he was ignorant to it, but just because he wasn't really sure what to make of it, or even if he should have.
Taking the letter out from his pocket again, he opened it up, allowing his eyes to fall upon one line in particular.
I thought that, as long as his eyes still held on to that spark of hope, the one I saw reignited while I helped to construct Angela, everything would be fine.
Benjamin helped that man construct Angela. Him, the one whose body Alphonse was now inhabiting.
It added context, yet it didn't blunt the bitterness. All time, all that anger and vitriol was pointedly towards him. He'd already made it clear that he wasn't the person the manager was supposed to be. And yet…
"You look like you've got a lot of thoughts about her."
Alphonse snapped out of it and looked over at Netzach. After a couple of seconds, he let out a heavy breath, leaning back and turning to stare at the rose on the other side of the room.
"To put it mildly."
Angela sat alone in one of the many corridors of the facility. Quite often, the only thing that she could have done each night was prepare for the next day. Occasionally, she'd have to set up a thing or two in advance to prepare to progress with the script's demands.
So of course, she had noticed when the manager got out of his room hours early, and walked into the facility, and she also saw when he came upon Netzach. Moreover, she saw as he sat down and began speaking with him.
If she had the choice, she would have stopped looking, but even still, she had to watch, so as to step in if something were to be shared that should not be.
And then the conversation switched tracks.
She felt a wave of discomfort wash over her as the two spoke of her. Had he forgotten she could see him at most times and could listen to his every word?
It took her a couple seconds to acknowledge that it was likely the case. Humans were faulty, fallible creatures, ones who could actually forget things in the first place.
The manager pulled out the letter he'd seemingly received from Benjamin. She was aware of it, of course. He'd put it in view of the various cameras in the facility multiple times, but she had never laid eyes on its contents. Every time he had stopped to look at it, he'd always accidentally placed himself in a blind spot where she could not read it, and the thickness of the paper and ink were such that she couldn't even attempt to read it from the blank side.
At that very moment, he gave her the perfect chance to get a good look at it, a perfect oportunity where every word could be seen in the cameras. All she had to do was to zoom in and she could have read it front to back in a micro-instant so terribly short that it may as well not have existed.
She did not.
Angela had considered it, yet the idea left a bad taste in her mouth. And the very fact that she felt that way was laughable. Of all things, all evils she had committed, she would consider this to be crossing a line? After Ayin had forced her to ensure the mass slaughter of countless employees for eons, this gave her pause?
It would, and she would not look back at the footage to try and find it out.
"You look like you've got a lot of thoughts about her."
At Netzach's words, the manager let out a heavy breath, turning to stare forwards
"To put it mildly."
She felt something constricting her for a what was an eternity to her, seeing as he curled up on the floor, grabbing his shins from where he was seated.
And then, she heard him speak.
"I don't know. I can't settle my thoughts." He said, breathing heavily. "She's been spiteful, and of course, I've been spiteful right back at her. Why not? I'm a real hater. I'm not the sort of person to turn the other cheek and pretend like I'm not feeling the sting when I'm slapped."
His hands clenched around his pants, and with a small burst, more blood poured down from his wrist, some of it catching on the cloth, and a few drops falling to the floor.
"But…I can also tell she's hurting too. And I don't like it." He closed his eyes. "Every now and then, I can see she's also being hurt by something I don't know. Part of me is saying that's deserved, but… whenever I really think about it…I know I don't actually think so."
After a sigh, he continued. "I don't know why I feel this way, but it's been eating at me. I'm well aware of this, that I'm just…flip-flopping all the time, switching between hating her and feeling concerned for her. I'd much rather settle into one of those two." He moved back to lay against the wall as he grimaced. "And I-"
He cut himself off, and in much the same way, Angela felt like her own breaths were stilled suddenly. That was enough, she couldn't listen to any more of this. It was simply too painful to listen to him speaking in such a way, it brought to the fore a thought.
About a simple, idiotic little wish she'd made, thousands of years ago. Ayin would not even look at her, even after having created her in direct opposition of the City's laws, but that did not mean she would have to suffer through his plans alone. She could find something with the Sephirot. A relationship of some sort, a connection, friends. It was as futile a dream as one could possibly be, given his designs.
And now, someone stood there, someone who would not be returned to nothing and be made to forget everything that she'd ever said. There was a possibility to build something, yet in the end, the only thing that could stand was…
"I've never had a good impression of her." Netzach spoke up. "And I'm definitely in the same camp. I can't do the whole 'love thy enemies' thing. Don't think I can, at least."
The Sephirah of the Safety Team took a breath, then spoke.
"But you know what, Al? I don't think I can or should tell you what you have to do there." Netzach said, his words coming slowly, yet without the usual tired lethargy. "No one should. You shouldn't care about anyone's impressions, not even yours. You choose for yourself what you want to make of this. Do you want to hate her or do you want to understand her?"
Angela sat motionless, with every synthetic muscle and tendon locking up as she waited for his answer.
"I…"
The manager took a breath, so painfully long, so utterly drawn out that every part of it scraped against her ears like steel wool upon them.
"I don't know. I can't help my reactions." He finally answered, the words not being too far off from her expectations. "I'm not able to just…come up to her and act earnest at her until it's all fine and dandy."
Of course he couldn't. How could anyone just forgive and forget any offenses and move forward?
Silently, Angela stood up, heels clicking as she took a couple steps forward. There was no point, in the end. When the dust cleared, all that they would be left with would be what they'd built towards; a deep antipathy towards each other.
"Are you really sure about that?"
Netzach spoke up, and as he did, she saw the manager turning to face him.
"Maybe you can't help feeling frustrated. I know. And maybe it hurts to try and reach out, only to get your hand slapped aside." The Sephirah continued. "But are you really going to let that stop you from trying? I don't see how it should. Not when it didn't stop you with me? Where is the difference?"
"Of course there's a difference…" Angela muttered, even though her voice wouldn't be heard by either of them, she still protested. There was no comparison point, not even something resembling the start of one. Surely the manager agreed; but was simply too inarticulate to refute Netzach.
And yet…as time passed and the manager seemed to find his words…
"I guess…that's just it, isn't it? Fear. Hesitation." He closed his eyes. "Just because I don't want to get burnt, isn't it?"
It was not a rebuttal that left his lips.
In a singular moment as he exhaled, she found herself miming him. Breathless at the hopelessly optimistic idea that things could even change, insulted at the simplistic proposal Netzach brought forth. To simply try, as if such were all it took.
"Just think it over and make your choice when you feel like you can." Netzach remarked, lapsing into silence shortly after.
Both Alphonse and Angela remained silent following that, simply locked in a moment of contemplation, however brief and however eternal it may have been for either of them.
Chapter 31: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.18 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse took a deep breath as he freshened up and prepared for work the following day. Things were getting a bit out of hand with all the new abnormalities he was having to juggle around, but he was adjusting to the pace, somewhat.
The second the door to his office opened, he stiffened momentarily, caught off guard by the sight of Angela, standing at the other end of the room.
He looked away, unable to stare into her eyes. Too much had happened and yet…
"H-hey, good to see you again." He greeted her stiffly.
He didn't see her reaction, but could hear a momentary change in her breathing. It didn't last long, however, and she finally spoke up.
"I'm given to understand you requested a meeting with Yesod?" She seemingly asked, rather bluntly, but a bit slower than she usually spoke. "It would be wise if you were to go now, as there is still enough time to arrive punctually to such a meeting, and I'm certain you have grown accustomed to his particular quirks."
Rather awkwardly, he stepped forward, scratching at the back of his neck as his eyes still didn't fall upon her.
"Yeah, I…that seems like a good idea. I shouldn't….I shouldn't be long, I think. I hope." Alphonse muttered as he approached further and further.
He couldn't help but let the frustration show on his face. He really wasn't able to say what he felt needed to be said. As a matter of fact, he didn't even properly conceptualize what he had to say, and thus ended up just stumbling around with his own words.
Goddamn embarrassing, that's what it was.
"Hey, are you…?" Alphonse began as he stood right next to Angela and saw her with a blank expression, the corners of her mouth pulled back slightly, either smiling or looking like she was about to tear his head off if he said something wrong.
It rather felt more like the latter when she replied with a "What is it, manager?"
"I'm just…I—" Alphonse shut his eyes and covered his face with a hand.
He groaned when he felt the blood pouring on his face, then wiped it off with the other sleeve. He took another breath and just decided to go for the first thing that came to his mind. "Are you gonna be showing around at the office again?"
"Is there any need for me to be?" She asked. "You seem to have everything well in hand by now."
Frustration began to build and an angry retort threatened to spill out of his mouth. He could barely hold it back, and in the end he couldn't stop himself fully.
"Is that a no?" He asked.
Angela remained silent, staring at him for a moment in annoyance before turning around and opening the door.
"We ought to leave for your meeting."
Alphonse took a deep, heavy breath and nodded.
At the very least she would be around for that much. Maybe he could work his way up afterwards.
As Alphonse arrived at the Information Department, he saw everyone hard at work. With the agents on standby in nearby halls and rooms and clerks already tapping away at keyboards and carrying paperwork to and fro.
Entering the main room of the department, Angela stopped right at the door, gesturing with her head towards Yesod. She remained there as Alphonse approached the man. That suited him fine, it wasn't like she was… emotional support, even before their relationship soured to the point it did.
"Yesod. Been a while." He greeted as he approached the Sephirah, who was staring at James's old workstation.
Yesod didn't answer, standing in place with arms crossed as he looked at the empty workspace. Alphonse decided to give the man some time, but stood close to him, bloody hand in one pocket and the other at his side.
It took the Sephirah a couple minutes to finally speak up, his gaze still locked in place. "What do you want?"
Letting out a breath, Alphonse nodded.
"Got a couple questions about the recent incident with Netzach." He remarked. "I asked him first, but he admitted there was only so much he could tell me. Said I'd be better served asking someone else, and I figured if someone could, it'd be you."
Still not looking at him, Yesod grimaced.
"Me. Of all people, you thought I would provide answers." The man remarked venomously.
"If not you, then who else? The Sephirah of the Extraction Team? The one who I very much doubt I'm even allowed to meet at the moment?" Alphonse asked blithely. Shaking his head, he continued with a more even tone. "Maybe, but otherwise, it only makes sense. Your team is the one in charge of figuring out a lot about the Abnormalities. It's only natural I would come ask you."
As his scowl deepened, Yesod started scratching at his sleeve.
"What do you even know about our duties? Standing behind those screens of yours, only ever coming here when you must." Yesod spoke, almost growling the words out. "Do you even know about our most important job? I don't doubt it's completely escaped you, given you've never brought up the topic, not even once."
Alphonse frowned, turning to face Yesod fully. He wanted to speak, but with the way the man was beginning to rage, he decided against it. It was best not to further inflame him. Unfortunately, the silence only seemed to have the opposite effect.
"You haven't even looked at all the obvious blanks and omissions across multiple records, all the constant redactions and removals." He snapped at Alphonse. "Who exactly do you think is in charge of expunging information?"
Teeth bared, Yesod continued to roughly scratch at his arm.
"It's us, the Information Team. We do not get a say in what information is to be removed, as that is for another department to decide; we only scratch off and redact specifics, be it with marker or a keystroke. Have you any idea how many employees have died? Their names? The time they died? The manner? Have you seen the gruesome way they've perished? Heard their frantic cries as they beg and scratch at the floor, desperate to live!?"
Yesod turned his gaze towards Alphonse, filled with an intense hate that reminded him of Angela at her most vitriolic. Only a moment after, Yesod let out a sound between a laugh and a hiss, nursing his head and turning away from him.
"I heard about the party the agents threw together for you. It was a sick joke and they had to know it." He said, heedless of how quiet the room had gone at his outburst, the only sounds in the room being his voice and the scratching of his gloved hands on his clothes. "Are you supposed to have figured out what it was like to be one of them during the incident with Netzach? Been through the same thing? Suffered the same losses, known exactly what it was like? That little slapfight couldn't compare to the frenzy of a proper containment breach. You haven't even worked with Abnormalities properly."
Yesod's sleeve ripped from the strain he subjected it to and Alphonse began stepping back and away from the man.
"What do you know about anything? You're the same you've ever been, the textbook definition of a hypocrite. You haven't had to kill every ounce of reservation and make a mockery of your purpose." Yesod continued raving on, scratching at the exposed skin with the same intensity. "'Information Team'. What good is a team whose only purpose is to destroy and manipulate information and deprive everyone of knowledge that could save them? Of remembrance for the dead?"
The skin broke under the strain, and dark ichor burst from within his arm, splattering on the ground as he curled forward. Alphonse felt the onset of a migraine, but even still, he screamed.
"Everyone clear the room!"
If his order hadn't been enough, the alarms blaring to life did the trick. He hoped, at the very least, as he felt the pressure upon his head mounting more and more.
"Have you had your fill yet!?!" Yesod howled at him, and turned to face Alphonse, his face twisted with maddened wrath that curdled his blood. With teeth bared, bleeding black liquid, and his shimmering eyes bulging, Yesod spoke in bellowing screams. "Did you enjoy watching your guinea pigs screeching!? You don't know what it's like to rot from the inside out like I am! Have you ever felt nauseous from even a single breath of air!? Felt your insides sloshing like the liquid settling at the bottom of a trash can!? ANSWER ME!"
He could not answer. And in the end, the last thing he felt before he fully blacked out was someone grabbing him.
Of the people working to see her dream realized, everyone had the brightest minds, fully prepared to break new ground and discover something no other person had ever seen. I would not place any of us on a scale and say who was the smartest amongst everyone, but if I were forced to do so, I would place him solidly in the middle.
This was no insult, and, were I to ask him, the man likely would agree with said placement; he too, often struggled with complicated problems and wracked his brain trying to find a solution. Perhaps one of his greatest contributions was his temperament, firm, stern and completely unafraid to speak his mind when he believed we were overstepping our bounds or when we made a mistake. That wasn't to say he hadn't contributed much aside from that, either, the man was easily one of our best workhorses.
That hadn't changed after what happened on that day, but I saw the change taking place within him.
I never was a particularly expressive person. I wasn't much for smiles, and neither was he, but I could spot the signs early on; I simply didn't realize until after the unauthorized experiment happened. He had been slowly growing dispassionate, not allowing himself even a paltry moment of joy whenever we made a new discovery or breakthrough.
No, I think I knew all along, but I just shut his voice out. I was too wrapped up in my own shame and misery to even stop to consider him.
"I heard about what happened…" The purple haired man said, arms crossed and his face screwed up into a scowl.
In lieu of his usual clothes, he was now wearing a black turtleneck and black gloves under his labcoat. He took a deep breath and shook his head as he stared at me.
"It goes without saying, but this incident was never supposed to happen. This could have easily been avoided had you placed the supply room key back in its proper place." He declared, eyes closed. "From here on out, we must set up a time for when keys must be returned to prevent people like you from causing accidents like this."
I couldn't help but bristle slightly at his words. The accusation was hardly the most damning I'd ever heard levied my way, but I still did not much care for it. The man let out a sigh and opened his eyes.
"Perhaps you may think I'm being too strict, but I can't help it. I'm not saying anything truly false either. You have a responsibility to everyone here."
I could hardly refute him, but I shifted the topic rather quickly.
"This?" He said as he glanced over at his gloves and clothes. "I wore this to prevent chemicals from splashing on my body."
Such were his words, yet it was hardly the truth. I had worried, in some small way, that… there may yet be a repeat of what happened to her, but even still, I shut my mouth and remained quiet. By the time I realized his idle habit of scratching himself when no one was looking, it was already too late.
The truth was, an obsession had begun to fester inside him, even as he kept up the façade of level-headedness. The rationality and sternness which I had appreciated turned into self-destructive restraint. The harsh scratching of his skin through his clothes had turned everyone's heads towards him, as he felt boils and sores upon his skin and an urge to claw at them.
In our concern, we decided to have him take a complete medical examination; it only made sense, we were toying with things beyond comprehension. Perhaps there was some kind of contamination or infection, but he refused us. In the end, I was the one to force the issue as he broke through his skin and started bleeding.
Persuasion failed. Thus we used coercion. Coercion wasn't enough, and so physical force was applied. He was tied, gagged and bound for the checkup, but his desperate straining against the restraints was painful to watch, and made the checkup difficult.
In the end, we realized there was nothing wrong with him physically. He was as hale and healthy as the day he joined us. Psychosomatic symptoms, nothing else.
The examination's results did not resolve anything. If anything, they made it many times worse. When last I saw him, he was missing an eye, his body completely covered in bloody scratches and nails falling off. He wasn't lucid or cognizant to any human speech.
Yet another death, yet another tragedy. Even still, I did not stop. It gave me pause, and yet… I couldn't stop and I never would.
After all, I…
I had…
Alphonse felt himself being dragged along. It was not that different from the last time, but with the light hitting his face, he was faster to stir to life.
"Awake. I'm awake." He grunted, and they stopped.
Trying to get his bearings, he realized he was right outside an elevator, and his arm was wrapped around...
He blinked, slightly in disbelief, but he stowed those feelings away as he found himself looking Angela right in the face.
She took a moment to place him closer to the wall, and he found his footing before taking a breath and asking.
"What happened? Is it the same as with Netzach?"
"Yes. We ought to move you out of here." Angela said without missing a beat. "At the very least, the situation isn't as out of control as it was with Netzach, the doors are operational and most every system is operational. Communications and visual feeds have been completely disrupted, however."
Alphonse let out a breath, taking a moment to consider the situation. It wasn't great, and what he saw did not paint a particularly pleasant picture either.
"I can keep Yesod locked down in the main room of the department until I'm able to restore communications, at least enough to allow you to operate and lead the agents to take care of the situation from your office. The visual feed is likely going to remain of poor quality through the day." Angela stated as the elevator descended and she stepped inside. "Come along, we've no time"
So she had said, and yet… he remained by the wall. Rubbing his eyes, he prepared himself for a rebuttal as he took a breath.
"No. I…"
"Want to confront him in much the same way you did Netzach?" She retorted.
He remained silent, merely nodding his head.
"Don't let that past victory get to your head. You were very lucky during that incident, both him and the Abnormalities he resonated with were passive enough that you did not see extensive combat." Angela shook her head grimacing at him. "And even still, you almost died. If not for my intervention you would have. This is different, the Abnormalities inside the department are extremely aggressive, and so will Yesod if you confront him this way. He will actively attempt to kill you, unlike Netzach."
Alphonse stiffened, and in fairness, she was making a very compelling point. But even still…
"I can't face his grievances like that." He said, taking a breath. "If I hide behind my monitors like he said, I won't have much ground to stand on. It'll make it a whole lot more difficult."
Angela seemed displeased by his answer, but considered it for a moment. A second later, she asked.
"And so, you'd risk your life for the vague thought that you can't come up with any solutions to that conundrum if you are not present?"
"Not gladly, but I would." He said, nodding his head. Looking at her displeased expression, he couldn't help but feel the silent pressure, the clash between them and their ideas.
But… it wasn't like things were the same as they were with Netzach.
With a breath, he asked, "You said that our infrastructure isn't as damaged as it was with Netzach? And are you sure you can keep Yesod contained?"
The question seemed to come as a surprise to Angela.
What was he getting at? Was he going to surrender now and come with her to his office now?
"Yes, I am certain he is contained, at least for the time being." She said, and she was. The last thing she saw from the feeds before they failed was his transformation into a shape akin to the Forsaken Murderer. Were it the Meat Lantern, then she would have needed to call upon Hokma, given the Abnormality's exotic abilities that would render any such safeties worthless.
The Manager nodded at her words, crossing his arms.
"Alright, keep him that way until we can get comms back up." A moment later, he looked away, seemingly taking a moment to find his next words.
"Let's meet in the middle."
She blinked. What was he even talking about? Either he did as she instructed or…no, if he just wanted to have his way, why wait? To get an E.G.O. Suit and Weapon delivered to him?
Angela took a breath, then looked over at him, stepping out of the elevator.
Standing in front of him, she stared into his eyes. They did not show some grand determination to shake mountains or even some kind of confidence, but even still, he met her gaze.
She nodded, granting him the word.
"I'm not going in without a plan. You've said it yourself, this is nothing like last time." He declared, if a bit shakily, despite himself. "If he can be kept there, we can organize, we can prepare. If he's going to attack in the same way the Abnormalities do, we can prepare for that and treat him like one. I can plan around it, I can go in with several other agents, we can have groups, kite him, let one group try to fight him while the other rests in another department with the regenerators."
Seemingly finding his footing in between speaking each word, he took a breath and nodded.
"You're right, I should be keeping safe, but I can do that and be present for this." He finally said. "How does that sound?"
There were issues with the plan. She was right to have reservations, there was only so much he could do and quite a lot to lose if he failed, however…
However…
Taking another breath, she nodded.
"Let's move to the Control Department instead, we need to inform Malkuth and gather whoever you choose to involve in this plan."
However, for as idiotic as the idea seemed, it wasn't as though there was anything to truly lose forever in this attempt of his.
An uncanny expression crossed his face, enough that she would have flinched if not for her slow perception of time. A smile, as he nodded towards her.
"Thank you, Angela. I won't let you down."
To avoid having to put up a mask, she turned on her heel and began walking towards the elevator, even as he followed.
"You'd best not."
Chapter 32: The Rationality to Maintain Discretion ~ 2.19 ~
Notes:
It took me way longer than I would have liked to get this chapter ready, but it's finally done.
Chapter Text
Alphonse adjusted the last piece of the E.G.O with a grimace, pulling on the sleeves and his collar. He wasn't exactly… a wellspring of pulchritude or particularly preoccupied with his appearance. He could wear a suit and wear it well enough, but he would rather hang out with jeans and a t-shirt.
But even, there were limits to how comfortable he felt about his appearance not being up to snuff and if anything would have ever crossed it, it was the E.G.O Suit of the Meat Lantern, which he could only charitably call off-putting if he felt generous and downright hideous if he wasn't. It was a 2 piece suit where the coat was more like a sweater with lapels, with several metal plates around its rim and a shoulder guard. A breastplate covered a decent part of his chest while kneepads did the same for the joints in question, all said pieces held down by elastic straps that seemed to hug his torso and legs with just the right amount of give to let him move around, yet somehow not loose enough that they felt like they would slip.
That was strange, but in general the agents wore suits which were either that, normal looking three-piece suits or three-piece suits with a trenchcoat, all of them having stylings and fabrics which resembled the Abnormalities they were derived from. His biggest problem with the suit was on that last point. It was white and fluffy, like a cross between a poodle's fur coat, a sheep's fleece or a dove's down, and right in the middle of the breastplate there was a flower with a glowing green lightbulb. More disturbingly, at several points on both his arms and legs parts of the suit were wide open, with mouths full of jagged, bloody teeth and a sticky green liquid in between each one.
Strangely, it didn't feel nearly as revolting as putting on the Scorched Girl's suit. Maybe he was getting used to them; Angela had mentioned that she didn't give him a higher grade E.G.O because the rest were too dangerous to handle safely, so perhaps back when he confronted Netzach that one had been a bit beyond him.
Maybe it was. He wasn't particularly confident he was ready, but in the end, he had to put his money where his mouth was.
Stepping out of the elevator and into the now vacated Training Department, he spotted four others standing at ease.
Arang, resting his back upon the coffin gifted to him by the Funeral of Dead Butterflies, dressed in a suit that almost perfectly matched that of the same Abnormality and looking over a massive pair of handguns, one black, one white, both engraved with butterfly patterns.
Hannah, wearing an almost threadbare, leathery black suit with numerous slits that seemed to twitch every so often, holding what could be best described as a three-year-old's idea of a spear, lovingly (if poorly) drawn with red, purple, yellow and black crayons and brought from paper straight into reality.
Yum-Yum…he had to avert his eyes from him, for a moment. His suit was of the same sort of type as Alphone's own, but came from the Bloodbath, thus its metal plates were a deep red and the rest of the suit seemed to be made of skin, slashed at various spots and weeping blood. Other than that, the man held onto a trident of sorts, with the middle prong being of black metal and the other two being a pair of horns, both having several red dahlias all around them and emerging from a mass of green eyes, each one wriggling and moving independently of the others to stare at different places.
Finally, Isabel greeted him with a wave, decked out in the highest grade E.G.O Suit out of everyone, a blue suit with a trenchcoat of various hues of the same color. Both it and the pants were pockmarked by numerous holes, some of which resembled faces. At her side, she held a spear of the same colors and material as the suit, largely normal looking aside from the holes and the tumorous growth that broke up the weapon's symmetry.
Everyone who he'd bring with him into the operation. Of course he had more agents at the ready, but they had other jobs.
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed Fourth Match Flame, hefting it in an underarm carry before reaching for a radio with his other hand. "All teams, do you read me?"
A chorus of 'copy', 'affirmative' and 'loud and clear's all rang out one after the other.
"Alright. You all know your jobs, you know the stakes. I'm not repeating the instructions because of the security concerns I've already mentioned back at the Control Department," he said, taking a moment to breathe and nod as he looked between each of the agents actually present with him. "But this much I will repeat; we're here to beat the snot out of Yesod, not kill him. He can take a lot of punishment, but if he looks like he's running out of steam or otherwise, pull back."
As he continued, he stepped forward, taking a deep breath. "Team B, Team D, play it by ear, fight cautiously unless he attempts what I told you to watch out for. Team C, don't play the hero, you are not built different. Team E, use extreme prejudice, move quickly."
After getting affirmative remarks all around, he strapped the radio back on his belt and spoke up. "Alright, Team A, you ready to roll?"
"Much as we'll ever be, boss," Yum-Yum said, scratching at the back of his head. "You sure this is a good idea? I mean, couldn't we just do what Malkuth said and just…y'know?"
Alphonse bristled at the suggestion. Malkuth had made a rather off-color comment about replacing Yesod and well…he rather didn't like it.
Hannah hadn't either, looking aside uncomfortably before speaking up. "He isn't…" he began, but couldn't finish the sentence. Not able to shake off Isabel and Yum-Yum's curious stares, Alphonse took on them instead.
"The Sephirah aren't robots," the manager said, drawing their gaze. "They're ordinary people shoved into prosthetic bodies."
"Wait, what the fuck?" Yum-Yum exclaimed, eyes wide. "Wh- How- Wait, but then how do they get replaced when they break down then? Cloning? Isn't that illegal?"
"No, it's only illegal if there are two or more instances of the same person in the City for seven days," Arang cut in, standing straight. "I heard recently they've been using them for insurance. Recover the client's head, clone someone else's body and staple it on that one. That said, it's not catching on due to some issues with the process that haven't been worked out."
The information made Alphonse's eyebrow rise, but he didn't react otherwise. It was interesting, but ultimately… "We're digressing," he said as he stood in front of the door, before turning around and looking at everyone. "Point is, yeah. I'm sure about this. If any of you disagree, you're more than welcome to join Team E."
The agents looked amongst themselves for a brief while, considering the offer. That said, when none said anything after twenty or so seconds he cheekily added, "Going once. Going twice…"
"Aaaaah, yeah, we're not leaving you out to dry, bossman," Isabel said as she waved a hand in front of her. "Yeah, let's get this started."
With the other agents nodding in unison, the time came to start the operation. Flanked by Isabel and Yum-Yum, Alphonse entered the hall to the Information Department's main room. The other two agents remained behind, waiting for their part.
It was not long before Alphonse was attacked by a series of foreign thoughts.
Ends. Begins. Ends. Begins. Ends. Begins. Ends. Begins.
If my head turns into steel, all the wrinkles in my brain will be gone.
Why is this place always so dark and cold?
"B-boss, what's…" Yum-Yum asked, his grip on his spear tightening. "Is that…Yesod?"
"Did you have to fight Netzach while listening to this?" Isabel asked, glancing at Alphonse with a wince.
Alphonse let out a sigh and just kept going. It was rough, but those thoughts and ideas, unfettered by any restraint, were as much a part of the encounter as the danger they'd be facing.
Now coming up on the door to the main room of the department, they could hear metallic banging over and over again, past the door.
Grabbing the radio, Alphonse spoke up to everyone. "All hands, brace yourselves," he said as he took one final breath. "Angela, beginning operation."
There was a pause from the other side of the radio.
"Understood," Angela's voice rang out. "Best of luck."
After a few heavy clicks, the door opened up.
The lights flickered weakly, but the impact of metal on metal rang out so loud it almost deafened him. Inside the room, various puddles of red covered the floor, shreds of cloth and metal were strewn around. Had the sight been deemed too much by the cognition filter, or had Yesod been so thorough that even the viscera was unrecognizable?
On the other side of the room, a singular figure stood, slamming into a wall, again and again, yet only managing to dent it, rather than anything else.
This impenetrable darkness is so cold and lonely.
You and I can't discern anything properly and never will.
What is this boiling inside me? This isn't even rage, it's something inexplicably worse.
The figure stopped, and in between the blinking of the lights, it turned to face them, allowing him full sight of it. Much like the Forsaken Murderer, Alphonse could see its body, clad in a dirty straightjacket. Straining against skin, the figure underneath the cloth was hard to recognize as human, down on its knees and with both sleeves of its arms conjoining. The figure's head was made up of countless folds of metal that formed something akin to a cylinder. In between each fold, peeking out of the gaps, strands of purple hair flowed out.
Lifting the metal head, a gap was visible in its underside, revealing a glowing purple facsimile of an eye.
"You…" Yesod spat out the word venomously as the singular eye looked straight at him.
Alphonse took a deep breath. Yesod didn't even wait for his response before he started lumbering towards him at an alarming speed.
The manager didn't feel particularly quippy. Instead, he answered by lifting Fourth Match Flame and pulling the trigger. A gout of flame exploded outwards and pushed Yesod back into the room.
"Contact! Everybody go, go, go!" Isabel cried out at her radio before moving inside, followed by Yum-Yum, then Alphonse.
Yesod shook his wide metal head wildly, keeping everyone away from him as he snarled. It gave everyone enough time to situate themselves around the room, surrounding him.
Forsaken even by death, we'll remain here until the end of time
We've created monsters that should never have been in this world. This is an unforgivable sin
Even if my body is tied… I'll be as free as any man.
"What do you think you're doing? Why are you even here?! Of all people, you are the last one I want to see here!" Yesod thundered and charged towards Alphonse, raising his head high. Alphonse leapt back, narrowly dodging the hunk of metal as it crashed down in front of him.
"Weren't you the one complaining that I didn't know what participating in a suppression was like?" Alphonse shot back as he moved to the side, trying to circle Yesod. "What, did you want me to hide behind those screens again?!"
Yesod roared and reared back, but found a spear through his torso and another impaling his calves. The Sephirah thrashed wildly in place as the pair tried to hold him down. Alphonse took the time to reposition again and continued.
"Tell me what you want from me already!" he yelled out and swung out his arm, keeping the cannon low to the ground. "I can't know what you're thinking if you don't say it outright! And if I don't know, then what the hell am I supposed to do about it?!"
Yesod struggled harder, this time more focused on getting to him than shaking off the agents at his back.
"Boss!" Yum-Yum strained out the word as he began getting dragged.
"Got it!" Alphonse immediately turned around and bolted out of the room. Hearing a pair of squelching sounds, he grabbed his radio. "Team A, switch!"
Metallic scraping and banging rang out, drawing closer and closer as he ran back towards Training's main room. Upon arriving, he leapt out of the way, just in time as a pair of guns cocked back.
Chimes rang out alongside gunshots as Arang pummeled Yesod with sustained fire from his pistols, making the Sephirah recoil.
"What is this?!" Yesod demanded as he charged towards Arang, only for Hannah to immediately blindside him and pierce through his spine.
Arang didn't reply as he aimed towards Yesod's kneecaps.
He didn't hesitate to fire, even when hearing Yesod's snarling cries. After a couple more rounds hit his legs, the Sephirah leaned back, trying to shake off Hannah and barely managing. He wasn't able to keep going, however, as his breaths turned ragged and slow.
"Yesod, I'm not blindsided by this rage, I'm not surprised you're furious," Alphonse said, his voice more even. Regardless, both he and the agents still remained on guard. "I'm angry about the way things are in this place, too."
"Angry? Do you think I'm angry?" Yesod shot back. "Anger is a pathetic and piddly word to call this. I can't even begin to describe the sheer hate I feel for you in this instant!"
What was I really looking at all this time?
I may be a mess now, but you'll have to fear me all the same.
Don't look at me with those eyes. You're the most pitiful one here…
Yesod shivered for a moment before he snarled again.
"I hate you. I hate everything you are," Yesod continued. "I hate your shameless manner, I hate your hypocrisy. You were the one who made this facility, you were the one that made us. Dolls for your entertainment, little toy soldiers that would suffer at your beck and call. If we have been brought back just for your sick pleasure, the least you could have done was to take away our hearts, to make us the sort of monsters that would thrive in this damned City!"
Yesod slammed his head on the floor, and although he began to dent it with repeated strikes they all simply remained on guard and stepped back away from him.
"You don't have the right to act like you care!" The Sephirah banged against the floor even harder than before, and as the dents and cracks spread, Alphonse felt the ground trembling beneath him. "What kind of sick joke is that?! You're the one who built this place to make death routine! You're the one who should be rotting!"
At that last declaration the ground gave way, cracking apart as Yesod descended from where he stood to the hallway a floor just below them.
"Shit." Alphonse glowered as moved towards the hole, watching Yesod flee the scene. He pulled the radio again and called out, "Team B, he's coming your way, prepare for contact!"
With that said, he leapt down. The height would have made him balk before, but with the suit he was wearing he felt as though it wasn't going to be a concern.
Upon landing, he spotted Yesod leaving the corridor and moving back into the Information Department. The Sephirah stopped upon looking into the room, spotting the wall of clerks and agents lined up in front of him, some taking a knee and others standing at full height, all of them aiming guns towards him, both EGO and commonplace.
Yesod's screams of rage and the repeated staccato of gunfire made for a cacophonous symphony. And as he writhed, Yesod began being forced back into the hallway, only for it to stop as he looked back and saw Alphonse lifting Fourth Match Flame towards him.
He waited for Yesod to begin charging him before he fired, aiming left towards a wall and forcing the man to the opposite side.
Alphonse stepped back into the open elevator behind him, spreading his arms. "If you want me, I'm right here," Alphonse taunted, though he didn't enjoy the jab.
Yesod howled as the doors closed and Alphonse felt some slight whiplash as the elevator moved twice as fast, carrying him up to the main room again, just in time to see Yesod somehow leaping back to that room despite his restraints.
Alphonse bolted the second he was out of the elevator and Yesod rushed towards him, both moving towards the back of the room even as Arang fired at the Sephirah from a distance.
"Stop running already!" Yesod snarled. "Is that all you're good at?! What happened to you being right here?!"
Alphonse came to a sudden stop and leapt, firing his weapon in mid air to boost himself backwards. The gamble worked as he shot past Yesod, who skidded forward a few feet before he could stop and even turn to look at Alphonse.
As for the manager himself, he wasn't feeling great. It felt like he was making negative progress with the Sephirah and couldn't really tire the man out or address him without being antagonized.
Frustration began to build up in the back of his throat, and although he tried to force it back, he couldn't help himself.
"What the fuck do you even want from me?!" he screamed back at Yesod. "I've been trying my best here and it's not enough! It never is! I've just been trying to make the most of a shit situation the second I figured out what was going on here! And every time I felt comfortable and like I was getting the hang of things, I've just been getting slapped back!"
Holding his weapon with one hand and spreading out his arms to the side, he howled right back at Yesod, "So tell me what the fuck it is you even want me to do, you goddamn prick!"
"I want you to stop pretending that you care!"
Yesod slammed his head against the floor one last time, but instead of cracking the floor, it was his head that gave way and fractured.
Alphonse leapt back as Yesod's metal head cracked open like an egg, splitting apart and releasing a kaleidoscope of monochrome butterflies that fluttered around it.
As the agents in the room caught up with Alphonse, they all watched a pair of hands began to emerge from the metallic head, pushing it apart and releasing more butterflies that circled round Yesod's form, until a humanoid figure pulled itself up from the carcass.
If we are not allowed even despair, what are we supposed to feel?
Long ago, people believed that they would become beautiful beings with small wings when they died.
A single coffin to pay tribute to those who had nowhere to go, carrying the memory of an empty faith…
The figure was hunched over with its back turned to them as it emerged, and butterflies settled on its back, clumping and gathering together before suddenly transforming into a casket. The metal egg and straightjacket dissolved, seemingly gathering at the man's shadow.
"I already told you…you of all people don't get to pretend that you care about all the death and suffering in this place," Yesod spoke, his voice more even and with a chime-like sound seeming to accompany his sentence. "Even if you play the savior and pat yourself on the back every time you stop someone from dying, at what point have you felt the weight of every sacrifice made along the way?"
Six arms sprawled out. Two held onto the casket gently, as if embracing a lover; two violently scratched at those holding the coffin; and another pair were free to act. As the figure rose to its full height, it towered over Alphonse and the agents by a couple feet, and in place of a head was a many-winged black butterfly, with the same purple eye pattern as what he had seen before.
"I won't stand for your self-indulgent celebrations while we're shoving corpses down trash chutes."
With those words said, Yesod moved his arm. Alphonse wasn't sure if it was the instincts ingrained in the E.G.O or if it was just him knowing what was about to happen, but he brought the cannon up to cover his chest.
A chime rang out and Alphonse was launched backwards, rolling on the floor a couple times but otherwise fine. One of Yesod's hands was held up in a finger gun gesture, pointing slightly up as if lifted by recoil.
The employees immediately attacked Yesod, but he moved with new clarity to his actions.
Right when Arang fired the first shot and nailed him in the chest, the Sephirah brought the casket up to block any further gunfire. As Hannah leapt to stab at him, Yesod deftly dodged to one side and grasped the lance with the scratching arms, trying to pull it away from the agent.
Alphonse took aim for a second before he felt a sensation of dread when his hand reached for the trigger. Blocking the hit had messed up the cannon.
He didn't get the chance to start throwing expletives before Yesod wrestled Hannah into an awkward position between Arang and him. As the latter agent stopped firing to avoid friendly fire, the casket in Yesod's hands slid open.
Where does one go when they die?
Just as the foreign thought slammed into Alphonse's head, a pair of monochrome hands grasped onto Hannah, dragging him inside and shutting the lid.
For a moment, both he and Arang were struck dumb—but then the coffin trembled, each vibration marked by a chime-like sound, repeating over and over until it suddenly stopped.
Alphonse growled in frustration, slamming a foot down on the cannon and pulling the match out of it with one hand as he used the other to call out to the radio. "Casualty confirmed! Someone switch!"
Arang retreated as he kept firing at Yesod to try and push him away from him, but Alphonse instead charged right at him.
"Casualty confirmed," Yesod parroted in disgust. "Are you done putting up the façade?!"
Alphonse made to strike at the man from the front, but instead slid forward with a kick, passing under his legs and swinging.
Yesod growled when a gout of flame struck his back, and as he recoiled, Alphonse flipped himself and got up. "Bitch, you killed Hannah!" Alphonse yelled as he pressed the offense, striking out while weaving and dodging around. Chimes rang out as Yesod failed to land a shot on him
"And are you any less guilty of it? You were the one who ordered him to fight!" Yesod glowered, aiming his hands towards Alphonse, but not managing to get a bead on him and firing after he'd leapt out the way. "He wouldn't have died if—"
Arang found a chance to slip past Yesod's guard, and bullet to the knee forced the Sephirah to the ground, Alphonse capitalized on the chance and thrust the match into Yesod's chest, sparking it right there and setting him ablaze.
"Fuck off with that sophistry! How am I to blame when you shoved him into that casket?!" Alphonse growled as he backed off, match held at the ready. "For all your complaints of me not carrying that weight, you're being pretty trigger happy yourself!"
As Yesod writhed around on his knees for a while, he screamed before slamming his fists on the ground. The flames went out as the man and his casket both burst apart into butterflies, seemingly disappearing.
Looking side to side, he searched for Yesod to no avail. Though he was fairly sure he hadn't just killed him. He wasn't sure if it was the adrenalin talking or a keener instinct of his, but he listened to it and pulled up his radio. "Visual lost on target, all teams stay on alert," he called out. "Team C, report any anomalous sightings of butterflies. Team E, play it safe."
After a few rounds of 'got it' and 'copy that', Alphonse looked at Arang and nodded. Both Isabel and Yum-Yum entered the room shortly after.
"Boss, where'd he go?" Isabel asked, but he didn't have an answer for her. Seeing that, she sighed and nursed her head. "Dammit. We've already lost one of our guys. This is going to get dicier the longer it keeps going. Boss, do we really have to risk everything just for this one asshole?"
Alphonse wanted to snap back at her, but it wasn't like he didn't get where she was coming from. This was a lot of effort, and perhaps lives, put forth for one person, no matter how important it may be. It was reasonable, regardless of how he felt about it.
The person to answer her was Arang, however.
"It doesn't matter how much better your life is in the Nests, your life is still in the Wings' hands," the man said, crossing his arms whilst keeping his fingers away from the triggers of his pistols. "And if the Wing you're working for has some hidden design, they'll sacrifice everyone they have to in order to get to it. The manager doesn't have a say in it, and I think that's the crux of the issue here."
The agent took a breath as everyone else looked at him. "Boss, I don't know what the corporation wants with you or the Sephirot, but if we need to talk him out of this rampage, don't switch me out yet," Arang said, nodding at Alphonse. "I think I might have a way to help you break through to him."
"Are you sure?" Alphonse asked. "We've been—"
"Boss, the regenerators have been going off all the while and he didn't hit me. I'm sure I can handle it," Arang retorted.
That much was true, he supposed. He frankly didn't find himself feeling winded in any way, and was feeling as fresh and ready to go as when he started the fight. Any further thoughts were interrupted by a radio call coming in.
"Contact with target! Upper Training hallway! Target is releasing Abnormalities! Requesting backup!"
"Shit, okay. We need to go," Alphonse said while Team E responded on open comms. "Alright then, Arang, you're coming with, and also…"
Alphonse looked between Yum-Yum and Isabel, and while the latter stepped forward and nodded, he grimaced.
"Yum-Yum, come with us. Isabel, standby," he ordered.
"Wait, what the hell, boss?!" she called out, but Yum-Yum put a hand on her shoulder.
"No, I get where he's coming from. Odds are you'll survive if you get caught by Yesod all alone. I wouldn't," Yum-Yum explained, shaking his head. "I'll be fine."
Isabel wanted to argue but she just groaned. "Fine! Just don't die out there, old man!"
"I'm old enough to be your brother, not your dad, kid!" Yum-Yum shot back and began to move for the elevator. Alphonse and Arang simply nodded and followed.
When they arrived at the hallway, agents were already at work beating up Matchstick. Alphonse and his agents immediately dashed past them, moving towards the open door Crayola was beginning to crawl out of.
As it reared back its head to sing, Alphonse leapt up and struck the match right on its head. Yum-Yum speared it right in the middle of its now-indistinct hearts, wrestling it off-balance and onto the floor, and Arang slid across the floor and pressed the barrels of his pistols upon its head, firing repeatedly with both over and over again until something seemed to crack.
Alphonse blinked and rather missed most of the process, but the Abnormality's body soon disappeared into a rather large egg that seemed to be drawn with crayons. It also seemed that the same happened to the other Abnormality, though the resulting egg was different.
"Boss, Control's breakroom!" one of the employees who suppressed Matchstick called out. Alphonse got the message and simply nodded before going on his way.
There was no such thing as a breakroom in the Control Department, but he got the idea. It was one of the side rooms on the lower floor.
That large coffin is simply too small to comfort those innocent sacrifices.
The fragile wings will keep fluttering, waiting for the moment to fall asleep.
All the information you just mindlessly skimmed through was from somebody's dire sacrifice.
Opening the door, Alphonse spotted a clerk on the ground, white butterflies fluttering over them. Yesod stood and turned to face them.
"You—"
Arang didn't wait for Yesod and fired upon him, Yum-Yum and Alphonse breaking apart and circling around from different sides, keeping their distance but threatening Yesod with their weapons.
"Respectfully sir, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Arang spoke up, seemingly shocking the Sephirah into not moving for a second. "We're not made of paper, we know what this damn City is like! We'd much rather not die, but it's not like we don't know at this point that we very well could!"
Arang pointed his guns towards Yesod, but when the Sephirah preemptively blocked his view with the coffin Arang instead aimed at the walls and fired.
The bullets ricocheted off the walls, chiming each time before nailing Yesod across his legs, his elbows, his arms and his shoulders. Arang kept firing, aiming his guns at the floor and walls in opposite directions that still ended with the bullets landing right on target. Alphonse and Yum-Yum hung low to the ground to avoid getting hit by accident.
"And that aside, if you actually were bothered by all the times one of us died, why the hell didn't you ever say a goddamn thing?!" Arang screamed over the gunshots and their chimes. "Every time, you'd just shut yourself in the main room while we went on break! You didn't ever offer any condolences or say anything about it!"
Arang finished by drawing close to Yesod and kicking the coffin, letting it slam against Yesod and sending him crashing against the wall.
"If you care, then why the hell did you act so distant? That's why everyone called you the Viper," Arang said as Yesod struggled to rise from the wall. "If it hurt you so much to act like a cold-hearted bastard, why keep up the façade for so long?"
A chime rang out and Arang recoiled. Yesod had lifted one arm to point at him and fired.
"Stop trying to reach out in vain," the Sephirah said as he hefted the coffin and slammed it on the ground, leaning on it and getting up. "You people are even worse than he is! Always huddling together despite knowing how you'll be hurt when one of you dies! Always keeping your distance from others at the same time because you know already! You're the same breed of hypocrites!"
Yum-Yum immediately leapt to stab Yesod, but found his spear grasped by the arms. Before the coffin could slide open, Alphonse grabbed his match with both hands like a bat and slammed it at Yesod's knees, knocking him to the ground before kicking the coffin away.
A thought came to mind, and Alphonse took a breath as he stood over Yesod. He gave it a brief pause to step on one of the hands before it could aim at him, then spoke.
"Ever heard about the Hedgehog's Dilemma?"
Yesod stiffened, then struggled as he prepared to retort, but Alphonse spoke first. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad if we just left our relationships with each other as coworkers and called it quits," he said, pinning down another hand with Fourth Match Flame. "Maybe. It's not like I don't get where you're coming from, but just look at what that's done for you. For fuck's sake, you're still getting hurt, even without really knowing your employees. Isn't that even worse?"
Alphonse couldn't stamp the third arm in time before Yesod grabbed him by the ankle and swung. He felt a dull pain as the Sephirah slammed him into Yum-Yum, then a sudden sense of whiplash as he swung him against the opposite wall.
He let out a pained growl, only for it to die in his throat as Yesod climbed atop him, four hands pinning his limbs and the final pair wrapping around his neck. Alphonse choked as Yesod tried to crush his windpipe and was doing quite well at it. The prongs of Yum-Yum's spear exploded out of his chest, but the Sephirah didn't even flinch as he continued to strangle the life out of him for the remark.
As Alphonse was beginning to see stars, chimes and gunshots rang out and Yesod's grip on his hands gave. He broke free and slammed his fists against Yesod's elbows once, then twice, Yesod fully extended his arms and in that moment, he struck for the third time. A sickening crack rang out as Yesod's arms bent the opposite way..
The Sephirah screamed and let go of Alphonse's throat, who immediately sucked in air so quickly he started choking on it and coughing. Yum-Yum then managed to gain enough leverage to completely pull the man off of him and send him careening against a wall.
Alphonse tried to get up, finding Arang grabbing his arm and lifting him up. Thus he just tried to get his breath back after the rather intimate encounter with Yesod's hands. The man was beginning to melt down, clumping together into a bright purple mass.
It was the home stretch, he could tell. He tried to order Yum-Yum away from Yesod, but only managed a few more coughs before just gesturing at him to move to the side.
It was almost over.
That was his thought before he saw Yum-Yum's legs hit the ground, the man's entire upper half missing.
As a scratchy, strangled scream left his throat, Arang tossed him to the floor, following suit shortly after. The radio came to life with screams, voices crying out and calling for support, begging for help. It became an indistinct mess of noise until it suddenly shut off.
"Manager, listen carefully," Angela called out from the radio, likely having completely shut down all other channels. "Yesod has taken the form of the Meat Lantern. Quite unlike the Abnormality, he is able to move, and is phasing through the walls of the facility. Most of Teams C and E have been taken down. If you are to give any orders, make them quick and concise."
He wanted to snap at Angela, scream at her for the cold tone and dispassionate demeanor.
And yet at that point…he couldn't even muster the strength for that. He took a couple breaths, and when he was sure he wasn't going to choke up, he spoke up and asked a single question. "Can you see him, even with the visual interference?"
There was silence from the other end for what felt like an eternity.
"Vaguely, which for an AI…for me, it's good enough to know where he is."
Alphonse took a deep breath. As much of one as he could, before he spoke again.
"All personnel, retreat to the elevators," he called into the radio. "I repeat, retreat to the elevators! Angela, I'll leave coordinating everyone's movements to you, direct everyone to safety, or at least as many people as you can."
"Are you—" Insane, she was probably about to call out, but cut herself off, letting out a breath for a moment and instead saying, "Understood. I'll see what I can do."
"That's all I'm asking for…" he said as he got off the ground. "Current location?"
"Closing in. Arm yourself and retreat to Control's main room, you need the space," she responded.
"Got it," Alphonse said, then helped Arang up though it was difficult thanks to the coffin upon his back. "Get to safety. I'll figure out how to—"
"No, you're not. I'm going with you," Arang shot back. "No, I'm not taking a no. Let's get moving."
For as much as he felt the need to argue, Alphonse simply accepted the forceful help and moved along.
Arriving at the main room, Alphonse took a deep breath, feeling topped up and ready to go already. He wanted to muse on the fact for longer, but Angela called out to them, "Yesod is approaching from below, left side, dodge."
He didn't argue, and so both he and Arang moved to the other side of the room. There was a sudden sensation that sent a chill down his spine for a brief moment, but he couldn't pin down why exactly. Angela was beginning to say something over the radio, but he couldn't listen over the thoughts that slammed into his skull.
Did you not see my marred, rotting flesh, covered in boils and oozing with pus?
I tried to pretend that everything was fine, but in reality, it never was. I was dying on the inside.
The luminous organ shines brilliantly. Is it lighting up the dark or serving only as a lure?
A flower bloomed on the floor, white with a few splotches of red. At its center, a purple lightbulb rested, shimmering faintly.
Immediately after, a giant maw closed around it, snapping with a heavy clicking sound and grinding on itself. Bloody teeth could clearly be seen despite the thing's furry body having shut its mouth. At first he thought the teeth were just sticking out of its mouth at an angle, but after a moment of observation, he realized they were instead piercing through its own flesh.
He didn't feel too much at the pitiful sight. If he had, that would have stopped him from sparking the match in his hands and sending a gout of flame Yesod's way.
Yesod screamed and writhed, opening his maw again as he left the floor. Transformed into what looked like an eyeless anglerfish covered in white fluff, he flopped against the floor a couple times before diving back into the ground and making it ripple as though it were water.
"What do you suggest I do?! Simply act the part of 'friendly supervisor' to all my employees?! Pretend that all shall be well even when we all know the death toll shall mount?!" Yesod screamed, his voice both muffled and echoing across the walls. "Find a confidant to be betrayed by yet again?!"
He felt the vibrations of the floor right beneath him and thus, he leapt forward, grabbing Arang's arm. Not a second too soon, as the maw closed around where they both stood, the teeth catching on one of his guns and forcing him to let go or have his arm twisted and torn.
"If you are so sure about yourself, then tell me!" The maw retracted and Alphonse found himself pulling Arang to and fro as Yesod's maw appeared from the wall. "Tell me how I'm supposed to react to our employees dying! Tell me how to do this sham of a job without feeling disgusted with myself!" Yesod leapt up from the floor in an arc, almost taking off Alphonse's head and only failing because he fell to the floor. "Tell me! Tell me how to stop feeling like I'm rotting from the inside out!"
Alphonse moved to get up, only to hear the door behind him opening. A girl's cries rang out in his ears, not intense in their volume, but deafening in their meaning.
His mind wandered back to a few moments ago, to the strange sense of doom he felt before Yesod appeared once more. It only made sense now; he only knew and could connect the sensation to what had actually happened.
The Scorched Girl was targeting him, and now stood only a couple paces away from him, crying and preparing to explode at any second, completely annihilating him and Arang in an instant.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl. He saw the wall ripple and Yesod about to leap forward and devour him whole. He could almost feel the ashes of the child behind him pricking at his nostrils. A part of him expected to see his life flash before his eyes, and yet instead, a thought came to his mind.
He was almost sure he'd gone insane right there and then when it did, yet while he remained in that infinitesimal limbo before his demise, he reached out and grabbed ahold of that enlightened madness.
"To burn all thi—!"
The Abnormality did not finish her sentence before Alphonse's hand reached out and grabbed her by her ashen, charred throat without even looking.
He let out a roar as he lifted her off the ground and flung her forward.
The little matchstick girl screamed as she sailed through the air only to land inside of Yesod's open maw. It forcefully closed upon feeling the impact, mere inches from him and Arang.
Yesod stood frozen in place for a moment, then retracted a couple feet. A loud gulp could be heard, then silence for three whole seconds.
Then Yesod exploded into giblets of ichorous black flesh, sending the manager and employee tumbling down the hallway where the Abnormality had come from.
Alphonse staggered to his feet, numbly feeling pain across his entire body. He wasn't even sure if it was grievous or not. He still very much survived the explosion though.
And, if the blackened flesh that was writhing on the walls and floor and apparently converging back into the main room of the department was any indication, so had Yesod.
Looking at the side, he saw Arang. He felt breathless for a second, unsure if he was alive, but a second later he saw the man was still breathing, so he likely just got knocked unconscious. Leaving him alone, Alphonse staggered back into the room, where a black puddle of gore was clumping together.
Standing in the doorframe he leaned on its side, taking a deep breath. He coughed a couple times after getting a noseful of ash, but he took a more easy breath and tried again.
"Man, I'm not sure of anything," Alphonse admitted, shaking his head. "And I sure as shit don't have the right to tell you how to feel about this fucking job, either. I know it sucks," he continued, looking at the floor and sighing. "I'm not happy about it and I'm not telling you to be, either. You said it yourself, every day, we end up with piles of body bags. Even when I'm not at the wheel, by the nature of this place, it's just what happens. How the hell can we feel satisfied, knowing that?"
Then what are we to do? You won't change this place, can't change it. So are we meant to bite our tongues and live with it?
He closed his eyes, taking another breath.
"I don't want to just 'get with the program' and just thoughtlessly keep floundering my way forward. That's hardly going to help us," Alphonse added. "I think we can change some of it, maybe. There's only so much our efforts can help, but it's better than nothing."
Alphonse grunted and got off the wall, looking back at Arang and then towards the puddle.
"We all got our burdens to carry. You. Me. The employees. We're all struggling," Alphonse continued, stepping forward. "For the two of us, though, it's our job to keep our backs straight and figure out things for everyone else. It's a lot of pressure, and if we fuck it up, we're taking down more than just a couple people for it."
The puddle of ichor seemed to bubble and beat, making it rather discomforting to look at, but he still gazed upon it
"Yeah, I think you have to get confidants. Buddies, friends, people who got your back," Alphonse said with a nod. "Are you going to get burnt for it? Maybe. Mistakes happen. Lapses in judgement happen, too. The important thing is that you find a way to lighten that load, because when the mistakes happen, they're going to be so much worse if you're so wound up and tense you might as well be used as a bowstring."
Alphonse nodded, trying to stay on his feet.
"Just...talk to us, man," he concluded. "There's some release to be found just in venting your frustrations out. Don't be a stranger. We can figure it out together, and even if we don't, we can still try to cope with it as best we can."
The pile of ichor condensed into a rectangular shape, solidifying into a metallic box covered in black bandages, some of which were loose. A display offset slightly to one side showed a circle in the shape of an eye, and another above showed the name YESOD.
"Now I see. I have been wallowing in despair for such a long time…" Yesod lamented, letting out a breath. "I was the one who couldn't see a single step ahead of them…"
Alphonse dropped to the floor, feeling his knees buckle as he let out a breath.
Then he punched Yesod lightly on the side. "Feel better?"
"No," Yesod responded plainly, letting out a harsh sigh. "That was unpleasant, but it wasn't as terrible as I expected it to be, either. I feel relieved, in spite of everything I've done. Not to say that I don't regret having gone on a rampage, but…" He hummed. "I feel like I can start moving forward. Like there is a chance that something can sprout from these wounds. A faint hope that this can change."
"That's good," Alphonse remarked as he fell on his back, groaning loudly. "Oh fuck me, my everything hurts. That sucked."
"You weren't the one who took the brunt of the explosion, I will remind you," Yesod remarked. "And what kind of plan was that? How do you come up with something so ridiculous? Though I suppose the better question is why the hell did it work as well as it did?"
"Beats me, but if it's stupid and it works then it's not stupid!" Alphonse shot back, laughing loudly, then coughing as he felt a sharp pain in his ribs. "Owww…"
Yesod groaned. "I guess this proves it. If you were him then you would have looked at that statement, scoffed and said that it's still stupid, it just happened to work."
Alphonse took a breath, nursing his ribs. "Yeah. Netzach figured it out too. Sorry if it's any trouble that I'm not that guy."
"I don't mind it. You are frustrating in your own unique way," Yesod remarked dryly. "You are playing the part of the bumbling fool, yet you devised a plan of action to deal with me."
Although Yesod said as much, Alphonse could hear some disappointment in his voice.
"There are many things that ought to be said between us, but I think they are best saved for later. There is much to do right now… Many corpses to lay to rest, because of me."
Alphonse heard footsteps, and thus he only sighed. "We can talk about it later," he remarked. It was best to get everything out of the way before they could arrive. "That said, name's Alphonse. What's yours?"
Yesod seemed to contemplate on the answer for a bit.
"I used to be known as Gabriel," he said, taking a moment to breathe. "Although I'm having to reconcile who I was with who I am at present, and so…I'm not quite sure."
People started filing into the room, looking over both of them. Some did take the Abnormality eggs away first, however. Priorities.
"Sleep on it and lemme know later man," he said, only to be lifted up by two employees and placed on a stretcher. "Catch you later."
The employees took him out of the room and moved him towards the elevator. While there, he looked aside at the hip of one of the clerks holding him and saw the radio. Moving his hand to brush against his own radio, he felt something sharp poking at him and felt it up. Realizing the device was busted, he spoke up.
"Pass me a radio?" The clerk hesitated for a second, then complied. Alphonse didn't adjust any frequency and just spoke up. "Are you there, Angela?"
There was silence for a good three seconds before the radio came to life. "What is it, manager?"
Alphonse felt some apprehension grabbing onto him, but he pushed through and spoke up. "We need to have a talk," he said, letting out a breath. "Urgently. This can't hold off until another day. Think you can drop by in like…two hours?"
There was silence from the other end, and it dragged on for long enough that he thought she'd just elected to ignore him. Just as he was about to give up and hand the radio back, he heard her speak again.
"I can set aside some time around then. Make the most of it."
Alphonse let out a sigh and he handed the radio back to the clerk. "Will do."
Despite himself, he smiled.
Isabel stood over the zipped up bodybag. Only half of it was filled in.
Her friend just died today. It was not something uncommon for her, having lived in the Backstreets, but it always sucked. Even still, that was just the way things were. It is what it is, as the manager once said.
So why did she have her knees on the floor? Why did her throat sting and seize up? Why did tears well up in her eyes? Wasn't that just the way things were? Why did it hurt to just…exist?
Isabel knew why, she just didn't want to say it. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to admit it. It would have been too much, it would have broken her to admit how she felt. How that sometimes flaky, sometimes firm friend was always by her side, how she came to love him as surely as she loved her late brother.
And just how much it hurt to see him gone in a way as cruel and sudden as that. In that respect, her brother and Yum-Yum were the same.
She heard someone approaching her, kneeling at her side. She didn't care. She didn't care for them or anything they had to say.
But when she turned to look at them, she just felt bile building up inside her throat as she saw them clasping their hands together, praying.
"It's rather painful. I know," they said, only managing to infuriate her. "But there will come a time when we shall meet him again."
"Where the fuck?! Heaven?!" she screeched angrily, hands curling into fists. "That's just a story for kids, asshole!"
"Is it that difficult to imagine?" they asked, not even slightly fazed. "The thought of a sanctuary? A place that will accept us? A place where we can meet again, after all is said and done?"
Isabel wanted to scream, but the person in front of her just turned to face her, eyes resolute.
"There is a place like that. Have faith. We shall meet them as stars one day."
She wanted to protest, she wanted to deny and decry them.
But if she had to be honest…she did hope she could meet her brother from another mother once more.
She wished for it as desperately as one could.
Chapter 33: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.20 ~
Chapter Text
After the incident, Alphonse was put under the regenerator of the Safety room to heal up and was allowed out once done healing. The whole process took all of two minutes so he ended up with more free time than he would have liked. He didn't get to talk much with Netzach but they shared a slightly awkward thumbs up at each other and went on with their business.
Returning to his room, he showered and cleaned himself up, having taken the time to lay the E.G.O Suit on a coat hanger and leaving it outside his room beforehand. By the time he was done, he left the room and saw it gone. That suited him just fine, he didn't want another visit from the ghoulish man if he could help it.
And thus Alphonse sat in his office, having dragged a chair from his room and being left with far too much time to sit and contemplate everything.
That was what he would have liked, at least. As he remained alone in the room, listening only to the faint hum of the AC, his mind went blank.
He didn't know how long he spent there, but he did know that after a point, he just moved the office chair out to the middle of the room and started mindlessly swiveling in circles. The air on his skin and sensation of motion were stimulating, but not enough to really kickstart any sort of thought for a couple minutes.
When a thought did come at last, it was not a helpful one.
One of his closer friends had died. And frankly, it was mildly horrifying how little he was reacting to the fact.
Of course, when it hit him, he stopped spinning and instead leaned forward. A look of consternation crossed his face as guilt began to seep in.
It wasn't his fault. That was what he wanted to tell himself at least. It wasn't Yesod's fault either, the man was agitated to a murderous degree by the circumstances he found himself in. But even if he kept going, even if he traced the line of culprits back to its source, it didn't matter; this wasn't about who was to blame for it, but his own reaction.
He knew that saying 'if only he had given different orders' was not useful to anyone. He was not exonerated of any and all guilt simply by not being at fault. All the constant deaths had gotten to him and left him exhausted time and time again, and his emotional response to that had gotten more and more dull.
Another thought came to mind. Hannah had also died, yet he said and thought little of it until the very moment he began contemplating everything that happened. He hadn't really gotten to know him as much as he did Yum-Yum and something about that fact helped another thing creep into the conscious parts of his mind.
He had detached himself from the agents more and more as time passed. They were on friendly terms, but he had been speaking less to them as the days rolled on, and each time, their interactions had become more and more superfluous. They had become skin-deep by that point.
Was it the nature of the time loop that had affected him like that? Was it inhabiting the body of that person who everyone so hated? Was it his own mind trying to lessen the burden that was always assailing it? At least in regards to the first point, a question did come to mind. If, in the end, all those deaths would be forgotten and never known about, did they matter? Did they only matter to him because he was able to remember they happened?
His answer to that came to mind as he got up from his chair and started pacing around; yes, they did matter. Even if he were to be locked in the loop as deeply as they were and forgot about it, the deaths did matter, and they did happen. Just because no one knew of evil did not remove evil; it was, still was and would continue to be evil.
So those deaths did matter. His actions and reactions did matter. Perhaps he could be forgiven for feeling numb to them after being forced to look upon them, and perhaps it would be understandable if he was forced to partake in the ruthless culture of human sacrifice that the facility seemed bent on enforcing, but he wouldn't, shouldn't be ignoring then entirely and throwing all caution to the wind.
Careful, measured steps forward. Not extremely careless, not paranoidal in their caution. That's what was required of him. He had to remember the deaths and know that they happened and should be avoided whenever possible, but not be weighed down by them to the point he couldn't move forward anymore.
This was the only rational answer he could reach. The only one he could be allowed to have, the one he'd have to be satisfied with.
It made him want to reach out and strangle the man who designed the damned facility he found himself in, but alas, he was locked within the man's body and auto-asphyxiation was not going to do it for him. That did raise a question about who the hell sent the letter addressed to him by name, but he wasn't ready to answer that and probably wouldn't be for a while either.
But for the time being, what mattered most, at that one time, was to speak with Angela, to figure out some way to change how everything was. He could…
Could he even change things between them? The bad blood between them was too thick. It seemed like a big ask for someone as god awful at talking as he was.
The thought got murdered by another part of him. Yes, of course he was god awful at having a heart to heart. So god awful in fact that he managed to come through to Yesod and Netzach.
He stopped himself and sat down on the chair again, spinning in place once more. He had something of an idea for how to start the conversation and what to say, he just felt unsure of how Angela would react. He had enough pieces of the puzzle to say that he was a moron and said some deeply hurtful things to her without knowing, he just didn't know if…
He didn't know how to get through to her.
Angela felt the inexorable crawl of time had somehow gotten worse. Perceiving time one hundred times slower than humans made for a tortuous existence, yet with no changes made to it, she felt it had slowed even further. Traversing from the elevator to the manager's office took twenty-three seconds on average, approximately thirty.eight minutes in her perception of time.
Somehow, she was not even halfway through the hallway and it had been one hour, five minutes and thirty-four seconds.
She considered the possibilities for that. Benjamin's little virus was not running its course on her and hadn't for a long time, she performed a quick check and confirmed as much immediately, then performed a more thorough system diagnosis, with it also confirming she was not infected by it. The next possibility was the effects of an abnormality, which she discarded far more quickly. Those who could bypass or affect the TT2 Protocol were not present in the facility at current, and the manager definitely wouldn't have made it so far if any of them were.
The answer came as she heard her heel clicking rapidly against the floor, forcing her to halt entirely
She was quite literally dragging her feet.
Her face twisted into a scowl as the fact sunk in. Of all the idiotic, humiliating possibilities, the reason she was taking so long was getting cold feet? If she had blood and it could boil, it'd be doing so right in that moment. She continued her stride, forcing herself to move at the proper pace.
Why was she hesitating now? What did it matter? She was simply going to talk with the manager. It was not going to be difficult, all she had to do was to stand there, listen to him say whatever it was he wanted to say and then…
Perhaps that was where the hesitation stemmed from. She didn't actually know what to expect from the conversation. Empty platitudes? A heartfelt, yet worthless attempt at reaching out to her? A fierce verbal put down?
She didn't know, but if there was something she was not lacking in, it was time to formulate her responses. The second she was in front of him and heard whatever he had to say, she would have a hundred times more time than he did to consider her words and respond however she pleased. Putting that in mind was perhaps the best thing for her to do in order to stop hesitating.
She knew not what to expect, but she could react to it accordingly. She was not a stuttering little wallflower, she was fully able to face whatever came of that conversation in whichever way it struck at her.
Angela opened the door.
Alphonse got off his chair and turned around after hearing the door open and was struck silent the second he spotted Angela, scowling as she entered.
Angela stepped in, looking at the manager's face twisting in obvious concern. She thought it was just because of his nervous manner, but after reviewing the last couple of seconds, she realized she had been glowering.
She looked aside, feeling almost annoyed at herself for starting things off in such a way, but approached the manager and stopped a couple paces away from him
Alphonse felt his heart crawling up to his throat as he looked at Angela, seizing up as he tried to start the conversation and failing to make even a single sound. For her part, Angela waited for him to say the first word, and once it was clear that he was struggling, she opened her mouth to speak. Not a word left her either.
It made no sense to her. Why were her words dying in her throat? She knew exactly what to say, how to start without being too firm or too lax, but every time she wanted to say them, they felt like the wrong ones and was forced to think of a different line.
They were both left silent. They did not know how to even begin.
After some more false starts, Alphonse finally managed to gesture towards his chair and weakly said, "D-do you want to take a seat?"
Angela let out a breath. Frustrated at his lack of eloquence, but also at her own inability to say anything more than "Yes."
He slowly moved and sat down on his chair while Angela did the same. He took a moment to adjust his posture, trying to sit firmly and failing. He crossed his legs for a couple seconds before he put his ankle over his knee, then settled back on the floor.
Angela thought she had no reason to feel any sort of apprehension, but she was suddenly struck by it as she looked at the man changing his posture over and over. It made it seem so obvious in hindsight that he was not Ayin, they didn't even have the same mannerisms, even though there were some points of resemblance.
Alphonse was rather struck by how… uncomfortable Angela was looking. It was not helping his nerves to see her glancing aside, lips twitching into a scowl every now and then.
But for as uncomfortable as things were…they needed to get somewhere.
"Angela, I…" Alphonse said, finding himself hesitating and taking a deep breath. "We…I wanted to talk. About us. About…" He sighed and bent forward, clutching his head as he looked at the floor. "About what we've done to each other."
Angela thought she had an answer to his words, but without even wanting to, she found herself ceding the word to him again with a nod and saying "What we have done…"
Alphonse felt a little put on the spot by her and felt some frustration for it, but he took a breath and shook his head.
"Listen, I… I can't keep doing this. I hate it." He tried sitting upright but couldn't fully manage. "Just…being so hateful, spitting venom… it feels good for an instant and then it's just bad. I don't like being like that."
Finding his footing somewhat, he continued.
"Angela, can we…start over? Not the time loop, just… you and me?"
Angela found herself tensing up as she heard him. She understood what he meant, she wouldn't be so willfully ignorant as to pretend she didn't, but even still…
"I don't think that's possible." She found herself saying so, despite herself. Rather than stop entirely, she just made sure to speak softly, rather than how she usually did. "I'm not sure if you have forgotten, but I am a machine. Perhaps you didn't know it, or maybe you never considered it in the first place, but there is a fundamental difference between you and me; you have a luxury I will never be afforded: oblivion."
Alphonse took a breath as he looked at Angela, her gaze locked onto the desk, rather than him.
"I am unable to forget a single thing. Everything that happens here, everything you say, I will remember forever." Angela said, some bitterness seeping through. "I'll never forget all that you've said. How can we start over if we've already come to hate each other as much as we do?"
Alphonse found himself flinching. That much was right, but…
"Do you hate me, Angela?" He asked, and saw as she flinched at his words. "Not him, not that guy. Me, Alphonse?"
Angela found herself struck silent for a while longer than she would have wanted.
"You certainly seem to hate me plenty." She responded, unable to face him.
Alphonse took a moment to consider her words and the way she avoided answering. He found himself frustrated. If he had…
He had Benjamin's program. He could activate it and ask again. Or perhaps he could ask something more keening, more…
"No…" He muttered and Angela stared back at him.
She stared at the manager as he balled his hand into a fist. His teeth were bared, but anger didn't seem to be what was agitating him, some frustration? She supposed he had every right to be.
But then, he spoke up.
"Angela. You've been at this for a while. You knew about Benjamin." He said, seeming more firm than before. "It wasn't the first time he's done this, and for as much as we might want it to be the last, it probably won't be. So you know about the program he gave me, don't you?"
Angela blinked, turning to look at him, yet remaining silent. Alphonse took a breath and nodded.
"I don't know what else to do, but I know, if I want to move forward this is what I can do."
Looking straight at her he clenched his right hand twice then consciously blinked. He heard a high pitch sound, apparently indicating the program was armed.
Angela was left breathless in that moment, not expecting the manager to go so far just to get an answer out of her, but braced herself for whatever he would have to say.
He held up his hand, its back facing her and his thumb not visible from where she sat.
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
Angela stared at his fingers, completely flabbergasted. She had been expecting him to ask again, or perhaps come up with a far more biting question, but she was left there looking at the four digits held up.
"What are you doing?!" She couldn't help but ask loudly. "What kind of joke do you think this is?"
He let out a breath, getting up from his seat as he did and looking up to the ceiling.
"For the longest time, I was thinking…what should be the question I ask?" He said, finally feeling some conviction in his words. "What do I want to know more desperately than anything else? How could I get an answer out of you?"
He sighed and turned to look at Angela.
"But…the more I thought about it now, the more I realized that wasn't the right question." Alphonse shook his head. "I'll be blunt: I don't hate you. I've given it enough thought and I'm sure about it. I resent a lot of things and a lot of what you've said, but I don't hate you." He looked aside and mulled his words over for a second. "I said I hated you because I see you as a person once, and at the time I thought I did. But I realized something as I considered what to ask you: if I just take back what I said, then use the program, I may as well be saying that I don't see you as a person."
Alphonse sat down again looking at Angela.
"I don't wanna do that to you. I want to start over, take it from the top, be sincere." He said, eyes closed. "But what the hell is sincerity worth if I can just force you? That's why I'm using it like this, I can't hold onto this program if I want to be level with you." Alphonse opened his eyes and looked at Angela again. "That's why I'm asking, because it's fucked up for me to have this kind of leverage over you." He held up his hand again, with four fingers up. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Angela wanted to argue against him, but found herself seizing up. It was a waste but one that would work to her advantage, and yet…
"This won't put us on even footing." She said her lips pursed as she finished. After a moment of silence, she shook her head. "Surely you know by now that this won't change where we stand relative to each other. From the very beginning, you stood above me, even with how much I criticized you and denigrated you."
Alphonse put his hands together. She was right, in a way. Before he saw her as his jailor, but now he knew better. They were both prisoners in the deranged cycle of death and suffering of the facility, and he was inhabiting the body of its architect. How would they be in even footing like that?
"Maybe." Alphonse said, nodding once. "But this is…all I can do. Making it so that I have to take you at your word, no matter what, is the only thing I can think of to prove that I want to be sincere."
It was the best he could do, with how things stood. Angela could see as much.
"You were holding up two fingers." She said, it did not change things, not to a degree that could truly satisfy her. But she could see that an attempt was made. That he truly…did try, as much as he could, to be sincere.
Alphonse sighed, taking a moment to close his eyes, which didn't really stop the red tint from flashing in his eyes for a while, but when it stopped, he continued.
"Angela, I don't hate you." He said, looking her in the eye, or at least as much as he could without feeling nervous. "And I want to believe that you don't hate me either, not truly. Am I right in thinking that?
Angela went silent, averting her own gaze. She didn't answer, but if she had to be honest…she didn't. She couldn't. She was horrified that things had come to the point they did, and she would be lying if she said she didn't resent him for many things, but she still found herself unable to say that she did hate him.
After a few seconds, Alphonse continued.
"It's true you won't forget about what I've done and said…" He said, leaning back on his chair and shaking his head. "But you should know, humans…don't forget things either" Angela seemed to tense up, but he continued. "When something leaves a huge impression on their minds, it will linger in their minds. Even if the details become hazy, they still know it happened. I know it doesn't compare to whatever it's like in your head, but I want you to know that I won't just forget all the bad blood and hurtful comments either."
Angela tensed again. She did feel insulted that he would compare the both of them in such a way, that he'd imply that what he was going through was similar to her own experience in any way… but she had to acknowledge that he wasn't wrong either. It was true, traumatic experiences would still linger in the minds of humans, even if memory erasure procedures were used. It was a point of contention that made work with some members of the Rabbit Team…difficult, even though they later seemed to forget about it.
Alphonse took a breath and looked at her.
"But when I say I want us to start over I don't mean I want us to forget anything." Alphonse said getting up again and drawing closer "I just want… to move on and put that behind us. I don't expect you to act like you're my best friend. I wouldn't want you to, either. I just want to be on cordial terms with you. If we can go past that, that'd be nice, but just being able to talk to each other without trading barbs, doing our jobs to the best of our abilities without belittling the other…I'd be satisfied if we could do that much."
Standing in front of her, Alphonse extended his hand.
"What do you say? Can't we at least… try?"
Angela remained in place, her hands balled into fists. It wasn't going to fix anything, it wouldn't change things between them. She was used to lying through her teeth time and time again. Every iteration of X was one she lied to and put up a veneer of cordiality for. What even was the difference if she were to put it on now?
And yet… perhaps that could ease things for the both of them. Perhaps it would be just enough to ensure no further resentment was borne from their interactions and keep the one that was already there from spilling outwards.
She rose from her seat, taking a deep, long breath. The motion seemed to take away his own, for some reason.
And in that moment, she reached out to his hand, gripping it in a handshake. His palm was slick with sweat, clearly from the sheer nervousness. Yet she decided to hold her tongue and not be the first one to spit upon the gesture.
"In that case, manager, I suppose we can try again." She said before letting go of his hand.
Alphonse let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and nodded, allowing himself a small smile.
"Thank you." He said. "Now, from the top…" he took a step back and raised his hand in greeting. "Good day, I'm Alphonse. The new manager for this facility, I'll be in your care from now on."
It was clearly a useless gesture, yet in a way…it had meaning, one that she could see. Whether he knew it or not, a new olive branch was extended towards her, one she decided to take , given she had already taken the other one. Angela bowed slightly.
"Hello, manager Alphonse. I give you a warm welcome to Lobotomy Corporation." Angela greeted. "I am Angela, your advisor and secretary. My role as an AI is to assist you in adjusting to your new workplace, so please have no worry in speaking with me or asking any questions."
The agreement was tenuous. An unsure thing that neither knew how long it would hold for.
But it would do, for the time being.
Chapter 34: NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE ~ 2.21 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse started off the next day feeling pretty good, he was ready to start the day rather quickly and arrived at the office.
"Good morning, manager."
He was rather struck for a couple seconds by the sight of Angela standing right next to his seat. He was getting used to finding himself alone at the start of each day, so it rather surprised him, even though he had talked with Angela the previous day.
Getting over his surprise, he nodded with a smile and answered "Good morning, Angela. Everything looks good for the start of the day?"
Angela seemed to take a moment to consider the question, closing her eyes and pursing her lips as she nodded.
"There are a number of employees gathering in the Central Command Department, but otherwise little else of note." She answered with an even tone.
It struck him as slightly odd that she pointed that out, but he still found himself nodding along.
"Roger roger." He said and stroked his chin while looking at the clock on his screen. It was, in fact, still early enough that he felt comfortable asking. "Say, do you figure we have enough time to meet up with Yesod? I wanted to talk with him about yesterday, figure out more of where we stand and all that."
"It would be best if you did so after work." She answered, "Would you like me to schedule a meeting with him?"
Alphonse nodded along, holding back the slight unease and trying not to let it show. There was something a little stilted about the way she was speaking, but he wouldn't blame her for it. He didn't expect them to be on good terms for a while, but there was still something fake to it all.
He put the thought out of mind for the time being.
"Yes, please. Thank you, Angela."
Angela was not inattentive. She was purpose built in such a way. She had access to all cameras and microphones in the facility and could access their records whenever needed. She did have blind spots behind certain areas, but by and large those were extremely limited.
That did not mean she couldn't be…distracted or otherwise occupied. She could narrow down her focus down such that she was only listening, seeing and experiencing the local space around her, and she was perfectly within her right to do so, as the facility wouldn't collapse without her oversight at all times.
It did, however, cause issues to do so. More so when she was distracted by the various developments regarding the manager and her relationship with him. That, along with doing so for several days…
It rather left her rather uninformed about the current state of affairs and rather taken aback by it by the time she actually put attention to it.
Perhaps the worst part of it was that she was not allowed to intervene in it. All she could do was quietly send messages back and forth with Benjamin, informing him of the events and the possible need to turn back the clock. Worse yet, the TT2 Protocol had already set a reset point on that very day. They could not get rid of the offending Abnormality at that point, short of a full reset.
All she could do was remain in place, watching the manager as he continued his work for the day, clueless as to what would surely happen sooner rather than later. Angela could only hope that it didn't sour things further
"Good day, everyone. I'm sure you're all exhausted, mentally or otherwise, from yesterday's incident." He spoke into the microphone, broadcasting his words to the facility at large. "And I'm sure many of you would rather sleep in and take it easy for the day. Unfortunately none of us have that luxury and we have to continue working as per our contracts."
The employees across the facility turned towards the intercom on each room they were at, listening intently with various looks of either resignation, hostility or numb interest in what he had to say about it.
Taking a breath that was caught by the microphone, he continued.
"I know I can't make up for it with a celebration or a shitty bonus or anything like that. Pizza parties never really lift anyone's spirits and I know it." The manager remarked, shaking his head. "And I'd like to say that I will find a way to make it better, but I can't very well bring back the dead with a few pretty words."
He nodded in spite of the motion not being able to be seen by anyone other than her.
"However, if I can promise you one thing as your manager, it's that I will seek restitution for all of you. One way or the other, I will find a way to make the CEO answer for everything that is going on in the facility. This is as much a promise to myself as it is to all of you, so know that I have a personal stake in this and I will see to it."
Angela couldn't help but raise her brow at his words. It was rather foolish; given the circumstances, there likely wouldn't be a way for him to make good on such a promise other than to give up and remain locked within the facility forever, just to spite Ayin. They were pretty words which would go nowhere, ultimately.
As much as she agreed with the sentiment of making Ayin answer for his actions, given the unfathomable amount of years she was forced to endure within the facility, she knew he was not in a position to do so.
"For now, however…" The manager continued, preparing to draw his speech to a close. "We must continue to work and give everything to make sure no one dies during the workday. I know you can put your best foot forward in spite of it all, because I have to as well and I will. We're well over twenty days in, and if someone like me can stay on his feet for that long, I know you can, too."
With one last breath, he looked over at the clock, and concluded. "Let's do this, everyone. Beginning the workday now."
There were no loud cheers at his speech. No celebrations or hurrahs, it was to be expected given the character of his words.
But even still, something did feel rather striking to Angela. In spite of the demoralizing bent it had leaned towards, Angela saw a notable number of employees taking firmer postures, and a strange look in their eye.
Perhaps she was observing resolve. She could not tell, given the rarity of such emotion within the facility and the employees. She would be more inclined to call it a maddened resignation; stoic acceptance, if she were generous. But regardless of what it was, she found it simmering silently amongst various employees, even if not the majority.
Of those who found themselves without such emotion, well over 30% were the people involved in cult activities.
As several agents were sent to work on Abnormalities one after the other, one who was left without any such work soon queued up a request for communication with the manager, and he took it up.
"What's up, Isabel?"
The employee in question remained where she was, motionless and unable to speak for quite a long while. The manager was left waiting for her words for well over half a minute.
"How are you doing it?" She ended up asking.
The manager was apparently confused, yet didn't ask back anything.
"How are you just…moving on?" Isabel asked again.
The manager was the one left silent, seemingly contemplating things in silence.
"With difficulty." He answered, letting out a heavy breath. "Listen, Isabel. I'm going to talk with Yesod after work, we can talk more once I'm done there." He paused, looking away from the microphone with a conflicted expression. "If you want, I can have other agents take up your workload, keep you on call for emergencies only."
After a couple seconds of silence, Isabel made a sound in affirmation, without much vigor to it. The manager didn't know it, but her mental corruption levels were steadily on the rise.
Cutting the transmission, he leaned back on his chair and sighed.
"God, this is going to get messy." He said, slumping in place with his eyes closed.
In many ways he did not yet know, it would, Angela thought to herself. When exactly was the only question.
Alarms blared, Isabel received a call at much the same time as they started to ring on her ears.
"Isabel! Left side containment chambers! Green Dawn!"
She did not answer, merely moved in the direction she was instructed. She soon found herself at the hallway in question, staring down two automaton. Tall, spindly things with reverse jointed peg legs, a singular sharp spike for an arm, cogs connected to nothing and spinning in circles. They stared at her and charged, their brown capes billowing and red lights for eyes full of murder
She did not care.
A singular movement was enough to dodge the pathetic charge, stepping to the side before impaling the chest of the first one, then a wide swing to send it crashing against the other.
It was so simple it made her sick.
She remembered the first time she'd stared down the Ordeal, back during her first days in the company. It was a brutal battle. Three clerks dead and a number of bruises on her by the end of it. She was scared shitless; she talked a big game about how she had fought off Rats before, but it didn't compare to fighting the robots.
With a swift movement, she cleaved one of the automata's arms, leaving it helpless. As the other charged, she kicked the first one away, then swung back her leg in a sweep, knocking the second down.
By the end of that first fight, she laid down on the ground, exhausted and shivering as her hand found itself on the brains of one of the clerks. She felt her breakfast climbing up her throat, but did not manage to fully come out, leaving her tasting the bile.
Isabel mounted the downed machine, severing its arm with a well placed stab before impaling its chest, its head and its spine, repeating the motions several times, over and over.
As she laid there, retching in disgust, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and heard a voice calling out "hey kid, keep it together."
With a final stab, she rendered the machine useless. Or maybe she already had the first three stabs. She just didn't care and kept stabbing. Isabel heard the other machine charging towards her, and thus she flipped forward, turned around, and ran the other machine through, severing its spine with a well placed strike.
Left alone with the machines, She remained there, staring at their fallen bodies. She didn't know for how long, but apparently for long enough that she heard a new set of alarms blaring.
"Sorry, Isabel. I need you to take care of O-03-93. It's going through a Qliphoth meltdown." The manager said, "Can you perform an Insight work on it?"
She was tempted to snap back with no, but instead she just headed towards the containment unit, all the way on the other end of the hallway. She opened the door and went inside.
Isabel stared at the mass of legs, floating gently in the middle of the room. At first, it felt disquieting, but now she was filled with nothing but apathy towards the Abnormality. That was what she'd told herself, at least. Yet looking at it now, something about it called to her.
She pushed those thoughts aside as she began adjusting the thermostat. She tried to ignore the Abnormality, yet it seemed to linger on her mind more and more the more she attempted to deny any sort of acknowledgement of it.
Is it that difficult to imagine? The thought of a sanctuary? A place that will accept us? A place where we can meet again, after all is said and done?
The words just annoyed her more and more the more she stood around to consider them. She glanced over at the Abnormality. It was ridiculous, thinking that it could do anything of the sort. It killed people and slurped them up. It was not going to help anyone.
Yet the question burned in her mind. Was it so difficult to imagine otherwise? To imagine that maybe there was a 'place' inside it? Somewhere that everyone could return to?
She shook her head and continued her work, pushing the thoughts aside. Trying to at least, because a question seemed to arise in her mind despite it all. She saw the thoughts that assaulted the others that knew of the Abnormality, she was confronted by them, attacked by them and yet…a new sense of clarity seemed to write itself upon her mind.
Somehow, she heard a clarion calling to her. Trumpets ringing out faintly. There was such a place, and it was one that they would all return to one day. Some people just went there faster, and she could too…
Yet, something struck her at that moment. People would throw themselves into the Abnormality if they remained in the room with it for too long. Martyrs, she heard some call them. But wouldn't they be the most selfish of all? Seeking to return to that place before anyone else?
Wouldn't they instead need someone to usher them into it?
Perhaps that place did exist, and perhaps she could meet Yum-Yum there once more. But if she wanted to make that happen, she needed to make sure no one was left behind.
She would make a wish upon the Blue Star, and she would offer up anything to see it realized.
Chapter 35: ~ He Goes Back Down to the Plain ~
Notes:
Merry Christmas, everyone
Chapter Text
With the workday done, the manager slumped forward putting his arms over the desk and letting out a heavy sigh. Angela found herself close to miming him, and perhaps she should have done so in time with him so he wouldn't notice, but she held herself back. The situation would escalate soon, but it would not be the first or last time things would spiral out of control for the manager.
"Manager, your meeting with Yesod is in 15 minutes. Will you be going or should I cancel it?" Angela asked, looking at the manager as closed his eyes.
The man merely flicked a wrist upward and lifted his index and middle fingers as he said. "Sure, just gimme like…2 minutes to catch my breath."
To him, 2 minutes certainly didn't seem like an imposition, yet to her it was perhaps far too much time wasted doing nothing. She certainly had found herself spending far larger intervals of time doing absolutely nothing on other occasions but in the current circumstances and their oncoming issues, she couldn't help but feel as though the feeling was warranted.
She wasn't sure how much she could expect things to remain the same once things went awry, and knew they would change for the worse, as they always did. This time, she was finding herself irked to see it happen after she and the manager already agreed on something for once.
A question seemed to come to mind, and it surprised Angela because it felt so obvious, yet hadn't asked it before. She held her tongue for a while once she realized, but the more time passed, the more it seemed to rankle at her.
And thus only a minute after he'd told her to give him two, Angela couldn't help but ask it.
"I've been wondering, manager." She said, stepping forward twice to be able to stare into his eyes as she asked him the question. "Why exactly were you so determined to change things between us?"
Opening his eyes, the manager stared at her for a little while, seemingly confused.
"I'm...not sure I follow or am really getting what you're asking." He said, trying to sit in a more firm position but remaining slightly slumped forward. "You mean why did I decide to talk things out with you yesterday or are you being more…?"
"No, that was what I was asking." Angela said, keeping her posture the same as ever. "If I had to rephrase it, I'd be asking why exactly did you decide to change things. What motive did you have for it?"
It was not entirely clear to her why he'd chosen to do so. He'd certainly said quite a lot in regards to wanting to be sincere and on even footing with her, but she'd not understood his reasons for doing so.
After seemingly thinking it over for a bit, the man sighed and shook his head.
"Honestly, I want to say that it's because I'm a bleeding heart and I wanted to understand you and not have to hate you." He leaned back on his chair and crossed his arms. "But if I had to trace it back even further and figure out where this came from…"
The manager let out a breath and looked at her. "If I had to be honest, a pretty good chunk of it is thanks to Benjamin."
Angela blinked, taken aback by the answer and merely looking at the manager in askance. He looked away after she stared at him, and he nodded along.
"Even after giving me the program, he was very… sad, to hear that you and I were getting along about as well as cats and dogs." He elaborated. "He begged me not to hate you, and to try and try my best to be kind to you."
Angela looked towards the floor after hearing that. Benjamin was and would continue to be the one person she could consider a friend. Even in the circumstances they were locked within, he would continue to act for her sake and defend her, even when she was placed in a position antagonistic to him and his goals.
Perhaps he still was acting for her sake. She had been furious with him after the incident with Netzach, but given that he recognized the truth of the manager's situation, him being so forceful in pointing it out to her could have been to aid her regardless.
"I killed him." She said, closing her eyes as she did. "With my own two hands, I killed him."
The manager remained silent for a moment.
"I figured." He replied. "But it's not like you had a choice in the matter, did you?" The manager got off his chair.
She did not.
The manager seemed to understand as much, and thus he just nodded as he looked aside. "It's pretty clear he was looking out for you, even when he was sticking out his neck like he was."
Angela couldn't help but wince at his choice of words, remembering very well how she ended up taking care of Benjamin on the current loop. Fortunately, the change in expression lasted only a micro instant and happened as the man was rolling his head around.
"I'm sure he knew all along that things might turn out the way they did for him, and he said what he did regardless." He finished. "I owe it to him to at least make an attempt."
Angela found herself remaining silent for a while longer. Often, when she looked at Benjamin, she felt herself looking back at all that he'd said in the past. She couldn't help but feel disappointed at times, given he'd promised her that one day Ayin would be able to face her, he just wasn't ready just yet.
This was the closest she had ever come to being accepted by him, if only by proxy, so she supposed she also owed it to Benjamin to at least make the most of the opportunity in front of her.
"I see. You ought to listen to him, then. Benjamin was one of the brightest minds and one of the kindest people involved in the project." Angela said, closing her eyes and sighing. "You should go meet Yesod now. Do try to come back right afterwards, there are a couple things we ought to discuss."
The manager blinked, seemingly surprised by her words. Stunned as he was, though, he only paused for a couple seconds before nodding.
"Right. I'll be seeing you in a bit, then, Angela." He nodded and began moving towards the door. "See you later?"
She nodded, largely ignoring his awkward tone as he moved on towards the door and left the room.
Not even a second later, Angela moved towards the man's chair and sat down, quickly looking through the cameras and proceeding to lock door after door. It seemed as though everything would come to a head quickly, so if she could at least delay it a little bit to allow herself to speak to him…
Unfortunately, it was too little too late, even for her. Her only other option would be to use the disposal protocols to deal with the problem, but she was not allowed to do so as that would be too direct of an intervention. Thus all she could do was watch an employee too strong for her own good and too mentally corrupted to be simply talked out of what she was about to do by the manager move forward and slash apart the door of a containment unit.
She messaged Benjamin, telling him to prepare and observe to reset the day when needed.
The employee stabbed her weapon into the ground as she stood in front of the Abnormality, and found herself staring at it. A few seconds later, she started displaying strange behavior. It struck her as odd, having expected the Abnormality to simply escape and for her to fall into it, a 'Martyr' as any of the other employees. She hadn't expected her to…suddenly start undressing, and kneel down in front of it.
The scene was incredibly striking, looking at Isabel kneeling down in front of the Blue Star, offering a fervent prayer.
Angela was left breathless, confused and in awe as she saw it answered like none other before.
Alphonse raised a hand, greeting Arang and the rest of the agents of the Information Team. Most were fresh faced newbies, yet were good enough to use TETH E.G.O, if nothing else.
"Hey. Everything good?" He asked, nodding along. "Yesod's at the main room, right?"
"Should be. He looks rather uneasy. Are you going to talk with him, sir?" Arang replied. Both Alphonse and him largely ignored the expressions of surprise on the newbies as the two conversed.
"That's the idea. Don't worry, it won't be too bad, I think." Alphonse nodded.
The lights flickered a couple times. Arang blinked in surprise and looked around for a couple seconds.
"Wha—?"
The lights went off, with the backups flickering on a few seconds later, only to die as well.
'Something is wrong, everyone prepare.'
He said those words, yet not a single one seemed to come out of his mouth. He paused in confusion and shifted around uncomfortably, realizing his footsteps weren't ringing out either.
A low sound rang out. It droned, it drowned out everything. Every bit of sensory reception seemed to take in simply a desolate silence. The howling of a void, the yawning of an abyss unlike any.
Before there was light, there was a word.
"Manager."
It echoed through the hall and shook Alphonse to his core. He turned around to see a new source of light. Faint, yet blinding in that darkness.
A figure stood there, garbed in black clothes that were not lost in the dark because of their blue trim. A vestment with flowing sleeves, with a blue heart upon its breast. A silvery, flowing stole. A starry, translucent veil with holes from which a pair of horns poked out. A black bandage with a hand-like brocade covering her eyes.
Around her orbited two hearts, sparkling in the purest hue of blue, deep yet faint, gloomy yet merry, frigid yet warm, sharp yet soft, cool yet sweltering.
"There you are. I thought I'd find you here, after you told me you'd be meeting with that worthless tin can." Isabel spoke, her voice reverberating and making him feel the vibrations across the entirety of his body. "You never made yourself too difficult to find."
Her advancing steps were the only ones that rang out in the room, more so than his own retreating steps.
"I thought you were a pretty cool boss, you know? An amnesiac just stumbling around in the dark, figuring things out, falling and then getting up, doing what you could?" She said as she continued to approach, "It grew on me really quickly, you didn't know what you were doing or why you even got dragged into this place. It felt oddly relatable, in spite of the weirdness around who you were."
Head hung low, she continued to approach. Someone close to him moved, but he didn't manage to catch sight of them. Isabel lifted her hand and something pulsed.
Turning around, he saw one of the employees falling to the floor clutching at their head and opening their mouth in a soundless scream. Their jaw stretched to unnatural lengths until the muscles of their mouth tore, splitting their jaw apart as they went limp, tears in their eyes.
'What the fuck' he made to say as he turned around to face Isabel, but only silence rang out until she continued speaking.
"But you know, I really should have figured we weren't even close to similar. How could we ever be? You were always more important than us, from the very start." She began, shaking her head. "I still don't get why, I still don't get how, but you always mattered more to the company…and so did the Sephirot."
A light laugh left her lips as she continued to step forward.
"None of us mattered to you, really. Oh you could be genial and understanding and feel bad about us dying, but we didn't actually matter in the end." She remarked, still laughing, "We didn't matter at all. Only you, only them. All for the sake of some strange little design which none of us understand or care about. All the other employees who died didn't matter, only that Yesod could survive and somehow... get better."
Another of the new employees ran, but instead of going away from Isabel, he charged at her. She swept aside her arm and in a heartbeat, the agent's head seemed to swell until they fell to the ground and their head burst open like an overripe fruit.
"Not even Yum-Yum mattered to you. If he had, you'd have done something to punish Yesod, struck him down, done something, anything." She continued, her voice taking on a heated, yet controlled fury. "But you didn't do a thing, Not even a show of pretending anymore. You were done with your toys so you put them in the box."
He spoke out, denying the words, but finding only silence. He tried to step forward, but a hand barred his path.
Arang stood in front of him, looking at him for a brief moment before shaking his head. He whipped it towards him right after. The gesture was clear
'Run, I'll hold her off.'
Arang pulled out his pistols, crossing his arms in front of him and taking a final silent breath.
"He doesn't care for you either. You should know this." Isabel said, her disappointment clear in her tone. "Do you think this little sacrifice will endear you to him? Save you from the fate so many others have suffered."
Arang shook his head before leveling his guns at her. She gave a sigh as the hearts around her started spinning slower around her. "I see. You made your choice, just like I made mine."
Her hands moved towards the back of her head, and he saw the bandages shifting and scraping her skin before falling to the floor. She took a deep breath before she started floating off the ground, then opened her eyes
In place of her pupils, hearts could be seen, deep, dark blues that glowed and shimmered with unearthly light as she lifted a hand towards Arang.
"Hear now, the Sound of a Star."
All went dark and Alphonse blinked, finding himself upon the chair of his office once more. He took a heavy, heaving breath. His ears stung as he could hear the sudden intake of air, and only felt worse when he started choking on air.
As he began settling down, he tried to take stock of his surroundings and immediately saw Angela staring at him, remaining quiet and keeping as neutral an expression as she could.
Alphonse took a breath, looking over at the screens, he saw the facility, in precisely the state it had been before, at the start of the day. All the pieces fall into place rather easily after that.
"Fuck."
He said as he slumped against his chair, rubbing at his eyes. They'd started the day over and the cutting words of his employee only made it harder to focus on that fact. Instead he was stuck thinking about the words she spoke and his complete inability to retort. Frustration began to take hold of him, but also an awareness that he had very little right to speak.
Taking a breath, he looked back towards Angela and asking, "What just happened?"
"Unfortunately, it was exactly what you saw." She answered. "You were attacked by Isabel, who was wearing an E.G.O granted to her directly by an Abnormality."
Alphonse took a moment to rest his head upon his hands.
"What the fuck." He muttered faintly "What the fuck!?"
He slammed the desk with his hand ignoring the sting he felt right afterwards. Angela gave him space and allowed him a good, long while of silence.
"What do we do? How can I…?" He muttered. "It's…it's not too late, I can speak with her, right? Do it before—"
"Manager." Angela said, her voice firm as she looked at him. "You can't stop this. Even if you stopped her, there are others who would cause your downfall in a similar vein. You won't be able to change the outcome, they're far too ingrained in the facility."
"They!? Who the—?" Frustration got the better of him and he knew it, he stopped and let out a harsh sigh as he clutched at his head.
Angela stopped for a while, looking at him for a while before speaking up once again.
"I will be blunt." She said, "We must return to the very beginning. The situation will spiral out of your control otherwise, if not today, then tomorrow, and if not then, next week."
"You've got to be kidding, it can't…"
It can't be that bad, and yet, looking at what just happened… it was more than likely just as bad as she claimed. He doubted she would exaggerate to such a degree.
A thought did come to mind that rankled at him. "The mass of legs, it was an ALEPH all along, wasn't it?"
Angela nodded in response. The answer only proved her right and yet.
"I…I can't go back, though. Everything I did with Netzach and Yesod, I… I don't think I could do it all over again. It was all in the spur of the moment, if I had to do it again, I would mess it all up!"
"I've had… a discussion about that." Angela said, looking aside. Alphonse's eyes were drawn towards her as she continued, saying. "I've talked about what exactly can be done with Hokma, the Sephirah of the Records Department. In light of your extenuating circumstances, we must adjust."
Taking a breath, she looked at him once more and she added. "The Sephirot have their roles to play. Once they are done with them, they will recover their memories. Your actions thus far will not have been for nothing."
Alphonse took a breath he didn't know he was holding. Hearing that much helped alleviate most of the pressure he felt building upon him. He allowed himself a moment to rest his head against his desk and simply breathe.
"Okay." He said, taking another long breath, holding it in place for a moment, then exhaling as he said, "Okay… okay, I… I can work with that. I can work with that."
He almost said it a third time, but he held back on it. Ultimately, he was not happy about the circumstances and would have liked to fight them to the end, but he was pointedly aware of just how things were stacked up against him in the facility by design. He couldn't just keep pushing forward and expect everything to go his way.
"Can I… at least talk with Yesod and Netzach before we go?"
He felt defeated, unable to argue any further and instead having to make concessions and do what he could.
"Unfortunately, no." Angela said, shaking her head. "I'm not certain how exactly the process will work, however, Hokma left pointed instructions that you are not allowed to talk with Yesod or Netzach about the matter until such a time that every upper layer Sephirot has been dealt with."
Alphonse winced. He wasn't allowed to so much as say goodbye to his new friends before setting off, the idea rankled at him and yet…
"Do it, I…" Alphonse hesitated, but eventually relented. "I've made it here before. I'll do it again, whatever it takes."
He had gotten to where he was once. He could do it again.
And so, one more time... the wheel turned.
Day one. The start of it all. Once more he was left to deal with things from the very beginning, and once more he met up with Malkuth.
The meeting was a haze to him. It happened, but he was not paying attention. Most of what he had to say simply did not matter to Malkuth. Alphonse had tried to order her directly to allow him to handle things last time, but she wouldn't listen, so he didn't expect her to do so either even if he was more forceful or direct. Nothing of what he had to say mattered to her.
The workday was simple, if dull and with barely anything to do, compared to his previous workload. With only One Sin to work with, all he did was to order his agents to work with it until they met their quota.
And then, finally, he arrived at the mess hall, with the door opening to him and showing the place full to the brim. Everyone there chatted around and seemed to mind their own business up until he stepped forward into the room. The loud chatter from the various groups there quieted down into dead silence.
"What is it?" He couldn't help but ask out loud, his voice weaker than he'd initially wanted it to. It took him a bit to realize that it was not surprise in everyone's faces, but rather a slight fear that quickly seemed to fade away after his first words.
Coughing into his fist, he stepped forward and said. "Alright, already. Back to eating your grub, everyone. No need to make a scene over nothing."
Most people stopped staring, though there were still a few that kept looking at him. He tried his best to ignore them as he went to grab food from the serving line. After returning back to the beginning as he did, there was something unreal about the whole situation that wasn't yet clicking, but almost seemed to fall into place as he felt the strain of the various gazes locked onto him.
He got his food then moved to the usual table, where the agents sat by.
"Hey, you don't mind if I sit here, right?" He asked as he set the tray down.
"Sure, go right ahead, boss!" Isabel answered, not skipping a beat, even though she seemed a little thrown off by his presence.
A sense of dread and deja vu seeped into him, her smile and blue eyes almost seemed to bore right into him as she stared at him. It was in that moment that it all clicked into place for him, the unease finally found its grip on him and refused to let go.
Alphonse's heart sank and his face twisted. His composure fell away entirely, and as it began to do so he couldn't help but hit the floor running, turning and gunning for the exit in a snap. Any sort of embarrassment he might have felt was completely overridden by the sudden weight of a realization.
Isabel did not recognize him. Neither did Yum-Yum. That was what it truly meant to return back to the very beginning, the price of setting things back to zero. He knew very well that it'd happen already, he just didn't know how hard it would hit him to be seen as nothing but a stranger until it happened.
This was what it meant for the boulder to roll back down to the bottom of the mountain.
Angela saw the sudden reaction of the manager from where she stood. The outburst left a strange impression upon the people present at the scene. She couldn't help but let out a breath as she thought about it.
The manager stepped into the room, taking heaving breaths as he leaned against the wall and slumped down onto the floor. Angela made no motion towards him and simply remained where she was. She could give him empty assurances, as she knew well how to grant people those, but instead decided to remain silent. It was perhaps for the best if she didn't intervene and simply allowed him to process things on his own.
"Fuck!" He screamed as he hit the floor. "Fuck!"
His breaths slowed down bit by bit, taking what to him were only a couple minutes. After that, he moved towards his chair and sat down, placing his arms over his desk and his face on top of them.
"Fucking Christ, I… I can't believe it hurts this bad." He spoke quietly, his voice despondent. "I…just how much did I end up losing, actually? I-I'm just a stranger to them, I'm not…" He raised his head only to grasp it tightly with one hand. "And that aside, I'd gotten so far. If I'd only just lasted until next day, then..."
Angela grimaced, It seemed he had not forgotten that she had once angrily snapped at him and told him to wait until the twenty seventh day for his answers. In truth, what would happen then was the memory synchronization process.
Before, Angela would have simply moved on. Now that she was fully aware of the difference between the manager and Ayin, she couldn't help but wonder what exactly would have happened if they got that far.
The uncertainty… made her feel uneasy about the prospect of one day finding out, for some reason.
The manager pat down his breast pocket, stopping dead in his tracks and letting out a harsh breath.
"The letter…" He said weakly then slumped down again.
Angela stood in front of the desk, looking at the manager's dispirited frame. Benjamin had given him a letter, one which he'd kept close to his chest in a literal and metaphorical sense. Often looking at it, if not outright reading it, on occasion.
She had not looked upon it the one time she'd gotten the chance for it, and yet…
A strange sense of shame had stopped her before. Now that she knew just how much it seemed to mean to him, and knowing what lengths he'd go to because of Benjamin… she decided to breach that wall she'd put up herself. She accessed the databanks of the Records Department, scouring through the recent records and finding the moment she was looking for.
She paused for a long while as she stared at the paper in his hands. It only made sense to her more that he had found himself so terribly attached to that letter. It bore a promise, a promise not unlike the one Benjamin had made her.
It never came true for her. The fact only stung at her, but at that moment, she couldn't help but understand that the manager… that Alphonse was hanging onto that promise just as desperately as she once had hers.
Angela moved, reaching the side of the desk and opening a shelf. She drew out a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Alphonse let out a breath as he saw her move back towards the front of the desk, placing the sheet on it and taking a breath.
Amongst the various skills she had, she had precise enough control over her body that she could easily know how to apply the right amount of pressure and move at the right speed to make ink flow in exactly the way she wanted it to. She also could calculate the right size and angle for each individual letter, the spacing between each one, imitate every little quirk and motion that was needed for each part down to the tenth of a millimeter.
Alphonse had been staring at the words all the while, and Angela did not stop him. She did not stop him either as he gingerly reached out to the complete replica of Benjamin's letter.
That was the moment where she saw tears welling up on his eyes and he let out a harsh sob.
He set aside the letter and lowered his head as he reached out towards her hand. Too surprised by the sudden attempt, even to her perception of time, she did not stop him from grabbing onto it.
"T-thank you." He said, shivering and sniffling, "T-thank y- Thank- Th- Thank you, so—"
Whatever else he wanted to say, he couldn't say as he started wailing loudly, openly weeping as he held her hand tightly.
She held her tongue as she felt herself tensing up, trying not to say anything at that moment as the man wearing Ayin's face held onto her and cried because of her.
One gesture. One simple, pithy little gesture was all it took to drive him to tears. It was that simple all along.
It made her tense up as she thought back to the many times where all could have gone differently if she'd just shown such little acts of goodwill.
Chapter 36: And no one will miss us ~ 3.1 ~
Chapter Text
Time passed almost too quickly in the facility. Days that once stretched on for several tense hours that seemed to never end now passed by with little incident. Now that Alphonse had gotten the hang of things, the first days were now more just rote and boring, rather than nerve wracking. And even though he got completely different Abnormalities to work with, he handled things well enough.
The one hiding behind a screen of various stretched out faces almost cost someone their life, but he quickly figured out its gimmick, whilst the one who looked like a granny just made him feel bad. Neither gave him too much trouble.
It was like that that he managed to get past the initial days and all the way to the sixth day in the workplace.
The door to his office opened and the manager stepped forth. Angela watched as Alphonse let out a heavy breath and he sat down at his chair. He stared blankly at the various monitors, eyes unfocused and clearly not really looking at them, his lips twitched occasionally as he kept his head in that position and took deep breaths.
Quite obviously, his mood had soured. She didn't know why exactly, given he'd talked just fine with Yesod and conducted himself adequately in front of him. Little had been different between that interaction and the one he had with the man the first time.
"You seem quite sullen." She couldn't help but state the obvious. "Will this be impacting your performance?"
Alphonse sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes and laying back on his chair right after.
"It's fine, I'm just a little exhausted, but that's just the way things are here." He remarked noncommittally. "I'll get over it."
It was, at the very least, what he hoped for. He wasn't particularly enthused, and that wasn't about to change, given everything. It couldn't be helped, really.
For her part, Angela stood in place for a while, wondering what exactly to say. Frankly, she was more than willing to let things be, as they weren't exactly near any crucial junctures or in need of any discussions.
However, having seen Alphonse's reaction to her replica of Benjamin's letter, she couldn't help but wonder if there was more she could do to see him give her such heartfelt thanks once more. They were different from any she'd heard before. Even Hod's words back during the first cycles when she supported her counseling program wholeheartedly felt like they rang hollow.
There was something more real to his words than those of anyone else, save perhaps Benjamin's. Or rather, it was that they felt like they actually counted. She wasn't sure if it was just the fact that she had grown so weary of everyone else and their words, which she could quote verbatim at this point, or if it was the fact that Alphonse could actually remember things, unlike the Sephirah.
Perhaps it was a combination of both that gave her that impression.
Either way, she was unsure how to even begin. She could very well give him one of the various canned lines she had used time and time again on X to express 'concern' or 'sympathy', but they'd since grown tired and meaningless. They were civil, which was the only thing they had going for them, but was that enough to satisfy her?
Four seconds had passed since he finished speaking. It was best not to allow the silence to linger for much longer, so despite her hesitance, she spoke up.
"I certainly can't offer any words of encouragement that won't sound like empty platitudes." She said, shaking her head and closing her eyes. "How you handle the situation is up to you. If you wish to speak about it or keep your thoughts to yourself is ultimately up to you. I trust you'll be able to make that choice yourself."
Alphonse made a sound of discomfort as he leaned forward, putting his elbow on the desk and resting his cheek on one hand. Somehow it felt like Angela had pulled that line from somewhere. And yet, she wasn't exactly wrong.
After taking a moment to breathe, he spoke up
"I guess so. Truth be told, I'm feeling awful about Yesod and Netzach." He said, sighing and shaking his head. "Meeting them now really just puts it into perspective how much I've lost."
Angela couldn't help but stiffen slightly. Alphonse had chosen to speak up, and although that was the reaction she was looking for, it still caught her off guard for a moment that he was just opening up to her with such a half hearted attempt on her part.
"Yeah, I know it wasn't all for nothing, and yeah I already got a taste for what it's like for them to not remember me thanks to Isabel, but.." He continued and groaned. "Doesn't make it any less sad to see how things just went back to the way they used to be. Looking at Netzach shooting up Enkephalin is going to be rough, too. I just know it."
"Perhaps so. And unfortunately, it may not be the last time you end up beholding such a situation." Angela responded, opening her eyes and glancing at the man. "Remembering just how much you've done for them in the past only to see it washed away is a curse."
A curse she was well acquainted with. The first cycles she spent within the facility, she'd wasted away worthlessly in trying to improve everyone's situation. Sadly, such was not allowed by the script Ayin had laid down.
"Did you ever do something for the Sephirah like that?"
Angela immediately turned to look at Alphonse, bristling at the question. Her sudden motion made him flinch, but after the initial shock, he tried to keep a neutral expression.
"I don't believe I said anything that would imply that." Angela shot back, and only found herself frustrated as Alphonse looked at her with an insufferable grin.
"So that's a 'yes'." He said, and as her frown deepened, he just raised his hands and shook his head. "Hey, don't give me that. You were the first one to start poking to see how I felt. It's only fair I get to do the same."
As she stared at him, his smugness began to fall away and he took on a more sober expression.
"That said… I'm sorry things turned out that way. Frustrating probably doesn't even begin to describe it."
Angela sighed, he didn't even know the half of it. Time and time again she tried to help the Sephirot and time and time again she was rebuked by Ayin's grand design. She made concession after concession and still she was not allowed to help the Sephirot. Matter of fact her duty lied in the complete opposite direction; she was there to worsen their mental state.
It annoyed her to no end that Alphonse was saying such things so lightly, but in the end, how could he know? And although he did not give it the appropriate gravitas, he was still very much empathetic to her situation and the fact wasn't lost on her, even if he only felt or understood one millionth of a millionth of what she was experiencing
"It would not." She simply said after a brief pause.
Alphonse hummed, unsure of how to take Angela's response. He was definitely pushing it as it was, but he still decided to press his luck regardless.
"How do you feel about how things have shaken out, Angela?" he asked, getting a raised brow from the woman in response. "In between my arrival and what I've done, I'm not quite sure what you've made of it all. I wanted to ask you, what's your take on it?"
That question gave Angela pause. What did she make of his sudden arrival? It was the source of much frustration, of course, as well as a not inconsiderable amount of distress due to his often unpredictable actions and foolhardy attitude. She bit down on the thought of saying that much, at least, she was trying to be civil, after all.
Perhaps the most diplomatic way to put it was…
"It has been…interesting, if nothing else." She admitted. "It has added a degree of unpredictability to the tired routine of the facility's goings-on that isn't unwelcome. After repeating the same thing over and over, your presence has at least changed the dynamics of this place."
Alphonse hummed. The answer felt stilted, but he decided to take it at face value. Even as he did, though, he was keenly aware of himself and nodded along for a moment.
"Not for the better in all cases, admittedly." He added, crossing his arms and gazing at his desk. "I'll cop to the fact that I've been a pain in the ass. I may have changed things up, but I don't think I've been making your stay here any more pleasant. I'll at least try to not annoy you too much if I can help it."
Angela stared at Alphonse for a few seconds. Truthfully, she wouldn't consider their earlier interactions to be particularly pleasant, but compared to Ayin's antipathy towards her, their current state was downright delightful. At the very least he actually acknowledged that he was being disagreeable in the past and had thoughts on the matter.
"I would much appreciate it if you did, yes."
Truthfully, it was good to know that he was not actively malicious towards her. A part of her wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and think the best of him. Would that not change things for the better for both of them?
The following day, screams of rage and indignation echoed across the facility. The Sephirot each tried to keep the employees under control, but could not. The skeleton crews from other departments were up in arms, clerks and agents alike. Gebura had mobilized and was beginning to subdue and slaughter the employees who would not stop.
It was a matter of seconds for a riot to start in the facility, all due to a facility-wide change enforced by a single Abnormality. E.G.O weapons were brandished as people tried to approach the manager's office.
Alphonse winced as he scratched at the back of his head, feeling the skin under his nails where there should have been hair.
In much the same way, where there had been hair on the heads of every employee, there was now a void of follicles, only smooth, glistening skin could be seen on their heads, catching the light and gleaming brilliantly.
Bald. Bald. Bald. Every last employee was left bald. A few welcomed the change, most found it disagreeable to a violent degree.
Alphonse muttered indistinctly in a mixture of embarrassment and awe as he turned to look at Angela. With her pale skin and transfixing eyes, she cut an unearthly picture, beautiful picture. It was now completely undercut by the fact that she no longer had any of her silken blue hair.
For her part, Angela, holding on to her now useless hair tie, turned to look at Alphonse. Displeasure was writ large on her face.
Despite the sting of her look of disapproval, Alphonse looked aside and muttered.
"Can we, uh…"
He moved his finger in a circular motion, sweeping it counter clockwise.
Angela took a long, deep breath.
And after a moment of inputting the necessary data, almost as if with an unceremonious 'pop', they returned back to the sixth day, the offending abnormality excised from the facility and their hair back in place.
As Alphonse touched his hair to confirm it was there, he let out a sigh. Hence, he remained silent for about ten seconds before he turned to look at Angela.
"So are we gonna talk about that or—"
"Talk about what?" Angela shot back as she looked back at him, daring him to ask.
Alphonse raised his hands and shook his head.
"Fair enough," he said numbly.
Angela pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a breath through her mouth.
She had given him the benefit of the doubt and thus knew very well the truth. Yes, Alphonse was perfectly pleasant.
No, he was not a smart man. In fact, he was a very stupid, very frustrating man in his own right and by his own merits.
Chapter 37: And no one will miss us ~ 3.2 ~
Chapter Text
It was when Alphonse felt most at ease when the facility and its great design would remind him that any breathing room he would have was the one he carved out for himself, not one freely given to him.
The fault was partially his own, as he forgot the event in between the various other disasters that happened last cycle, but the only saving grace was that, when they were released, the Abnormalities of the Information Team largely remained in the Department.
Unfortunately, his employees were not as capable as they once were and even though he gave appropriate orders, he could do nothing but sit ramrod straight as he saw the Scarecrow pinning Isabel down, then extending a straw appendage towards her head. He felt dread and horror as he saw the monster quite literally slurping the agent's brains out.
Even after dealing with the situation as he could, the image remained stuck to his mind, as did a certain impression that only made his guilt sting all the more.
"Information Team, take five, then proceed with cleanup" Alphonse spoke aloud, "Basil, remain on standby outside the containment unit of Today's Shy Look. Let's just meet the quota and end the day."
He gave out a few more times, and in a brief few moments, they were done with the workday. Alphonse slumped back into his chair, then rubbed his eyes while letting out a sigh.
"You seem dissatisfied." Angela noted, making Alphonse frown with how matter-of-factly she'd said it.
He bit down on a more violent response and simply said, "I don't have much reason to be satisfied with today, I'm sure."
Angela paused and grimaced; she supposed she phrased that poorly. Taking a moment to let silence settle for a while.
"I suppose a more accurate way to remark on it would be to say that you seem more bothered with the situation than you have on similar occasions."
"Fair enough." Alphonse remarked, letting out a breath and looking aside. "I'm… just realizing that I'm getting worse. I'm…I don't know if dissociate is the right word, but I think it may be."
He paused for a moment, unsure at first if he even wanted to unpack his thoughts on Angela. On one hand, they decided to be civil with each other, not to be bosom buddies…on the other, she had asked him and more importantly, she started looking at him questioningly after he'd already started speaking without thinking.
He caved more quickly than he'd have liked.
"I stopped going to eat with the agents like last time. I haven't been able to face them since that first meeting." Alphonse began, face scrunching up as he closed his eyes. "It's spared me some hurt, but I've just distanced myself from them entirely."
Alphonse put a hand against his face and sighed. He paused for a moment as he processed the sensation and looked at both his hands, ending up biting down on the urge to loudly call himself an idiot as he realized something completely unrelated.
The Gift from the Bloodbath was gone and he'd failed to notice completely. It only drove home just how out of sorts he was since minute one, to have missed that for so long.
Trying not to get sidetracked, he just continued and said. "Isabel's dead now. The only thing she knew about me was that her boss was a weirdo who ran out on her on the first day of work and never talked with her beyond work orders. It's just making me feel… bad. I can't even get a proper description beyond that."
Maybe he could if he tried. There were many words for the sort of feelings he was sifting through, such as horrified, appalled, guilty, anxious and several others, but they didn't even reach his throat.
Angela stared at Alphonse for a little while, seeing his distress and finding herself unable to feel anything other than ennui. It was then followed up by a pang of frustration; she couldn't very well tell him her naked thoughts about the matter without straining their relationship again, but she didn't want to offer empty platitudes either.
The fact of the matter was, the facility was designed such that lives were no different than wood in a woodchipper or paper in a shredder. It was almost ridiculous how, in the process of nobly saving humanity, Ayin created a place where human suffering was as routine as the employees' meals. No one could change that, not her, and definitely not him either.
"Ultimately, there is nothing I can say that can comfort you in this regard." Angela admitted out loud. "I may sound like a broken record, but the only thing I can say is that you should simply stop caring about the many deaths that take place here."
Alphonse turned to look at her, and though she could see some anger in his eyes, it was easy to see it didn't burn particularly hot. The last time she'd said something in that vein, he'd reacted in a far worse manner, but in fairness, now she had chosen her words to be far less inflammatory.
She decided to take it one step further.
"You are only exhausting yourself by putting so much thought into the matter of everyone's lives." Angela said, staring at Alphonse and keeping an even tone. "You yourself have admitted to Netzach that this place will never be safe, that you know that this place is purpose-built in this way. In that case, wouldn't it be better to simply accept those deaths as a natural thing? If you continue to seek out the employees as you did, you'll only hurt yourself again."
Alphonse grimaced and looked away. She got him there. The more he hung out and knew the employees, the more it'd sting whenever they died, or when they had to reset back to the start. And yet…
Yesod came to mind. Gabriel came to mind. To spare himself the pain, he obsessed over rules and regulations, becoming an incredibly fastidious person with a reputation as a cold-blooded machine, liked by nobody and trying not to connect with anybody.
And failing at that last part. Because the truth was…
"I don't think I can." He finally said after his extended pause. "I see where you're coming from with this, but that's not going to work."
He put a hand up against his face and he sighed.
"This place is sickening. It's not natural for things to be like this." He remarked with a grimace. "And the way I'm reading into this, the guy that built this place knew this too; he still went and created it because he wanted to make a point. If this place was just evil for the sake of it, then there'd be no need to keep the Sephirot here, not when they have so many grievances with the way things are."
Taking one more breath, he finished.
"I don't think just toughening up and accepting things is going to be any help." He remarked with a sigh. "If I did, I could maybe bear with it easier, but when it came time to talk through everything with the Sephirot, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on."
Angela remained silent, considering his answer. Alphonse fully intended to go through with the project with dogged determination. Or more accurately, without really knowing anything.
His ignorance stung to look at. He seemed so convinced that he could make it to the very end of the scenario laid out by Ayin. Even if she agreed to treat him in a more civil way, she still didn't think he could manage that much. He was still far from prepared, and the facility would wear on him as the months turned to years and he remained trapped within.
That wasn't even considering whatever would come even if he made it that far. Save for what she was entrusted to do after the germination of the Seed of Light, the script was left purposefully blank when it came to the lower layers and the last days, leaving her just as clueless as he was in regards to what would happen.
"I can't help but wonder, why are you going through all this trouble?" She couldn't help but ask.
"I'm pretty sure I've said it before, I want out of this dump." Alphonse shrugged his shoulders. "Or well…I just want to stop having to deal with how miserable this place is, more than anything. I figure the only way to do it is to just do what I'm supposed to do."
"It seems like a rather shortsighted approach." Angela remarked flatly.
"It is, but I don't have the luxury of a Plan B." Alphonse answered with a sigh. "I'd be open to suggestions, if you happened to have any."
Angela hummed. She did not. She couldn't help the facility be more pleasant for anyone, not the employees and not him. Leaving also wasn't possible
"As long as you're aware." She concluded.
What goals he set for himself were entirely up to him. If he wished to follow the script through to the end, that was his own choice.
Even though it irked her to see him try.
The next day, Alphonse arrived at his office, having woken up early and done his morning routine without issue.
"Morning, An…" Alphonse trailed off as he saw Angela was not in the room for the time being.
He let out a breath and simply plopped down onto his chair, kicking back and spinning in place. He idly realized he was making a habit of it, lately.
Unfortunately for him, it was in the middle of it that the sound of radio static assaulted his ears. He bent forward and fell off the chair as he heard a familiar voice.
"...one…there?" it called out, slowly adjusting until it became clearer. "Can…read me?...Repeat, is anyone there?"
"Fucking Christ, gimme a warning next time!" Alphonse loudly complained as he tried getting up.
"My apologies, I had yet to work out the finer details of this transmission." The voice said. "There were few ways to establish secure contact, and seizing the cognition filter was one of the best I could find on short notice."
Alphonse held his breath and sat back down on his chair. He wasn't particularly listening closely to the other man as something was occupying his mind with far greater impact.
Could he speak with him about what happened? He wasn't entirely sure, given the nature of the facility and timeloop. At the same time, It also seemed entirely feasible given their last talk.
As he considered his options for a while longer he came to his conclusion.
"Benjamin, things have gone a bit…awry."
The other man stopped talking at once. A second passed, then another, then one more in silence.
Benjamin dropped the voice modulator.
"Oh."
Chapter 38: And no one will miss us ~ 3.3 ~
Chapter Text
A somewhat tense silence hung in the air for a while and although he felt it keenly, Alphonse made his choice and settled on his next words.
"Sorry to put you on the spot like this, but it's probably best I cut to the heart of the matter." He said with a slight grimace. "We've talked before, and well… the TT2 Protocol is online, but I'm able to remember things. That wasn't part of the plan, I figure."
"I… this is unexpected." Benjamin said, clearly struggling for words. "How did this happen? Since when?"
"Beats me and two-ish cycles, respectively." Alphonse answered. "There are some… additional circumstances, but we can break those down some other time."
The whole… fact that he was an outsider to the facility and its circumstances was something he wanted to actually speak about with Benjamin, but he hadn't really found the time or nerve to really get into it last time.
"It might be risky for us to talk like this, but I still wanted to go ahead with it." Alphonse added. "Hell, I don't think there'd be too much of a problem if we just talk about current goings-on instead of anything relating to the mechanics of this place. I'd be satisfied with that much anyway."
"I suppose it wouldn't do any harm, but…" Benjamin seemed to struggle with his words for a while before he finally settled on, "I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in."
"I get it, don't worry." Alphonse said with a nod, despite knowing very well that Benjamin couldn't see it. "We can talk later, after you sort out your thoughts. For now, I'm curious about something. How did you even figure how to contact me without alerting Angela?"
"I'm hardly proud of it." Benjamin admitted with a sigh. "I designed a virus for Angela. That along with her obligations gave me the room I needed to talk with you."
Alphonse was slightly stunned at the admission. It made sense that Angela could be susceptible to cybernetic attacks, but hearing it was another thing. He wondered just what exactly said virus could do to her, and just what she felt about it. Had she been subjected to it every time? Did she only do so one time and just played pretend the following times?
"Right… I think I'll have to ask you to tell me where you are." Alphonse remarked with an even tone. "The next time, and there will be a next time, I'll contact you first. I'd rather you didn't cause any trouble for her each loop."
"Truly?" Benjamin couldn't help but blurt out. "I… that's surprising. I wouldn't have thought you would…"
Alphonse let out a breath. He supposed it came as a bit of a shock to Benjamin, given the context clues he'd found.
"It's a long story, but we came to an agreement to play ball and be civil, given the circumstances." Alphonse skimmed over the details. "The situation is abnormal, but it looks like things are still on track. Can I meet you at the mess hall today after work? Given that Angela already knows, I think it should be fine for us to meet openly."
Benjamin remained silent for an extended period of time, long enough that Alphonse was beginning to wonder if he should speak up. Just when he was about to do so, the man spoke up.
"I have a number of reservations about this… as well as certain concerns." Benjamin replied, taking a breath. "But I suppose we can, so long as we keep our conversation light."
"That's all I'm asking for, Benji." Alphonse said, chuckling lightly. He heard the man repeat the shorthand for his name numbly, and just a second later he added, "Meet you there?"
"I… yes." Benjamin replied. "I will be seeing you then."
In short order, the transmission cut off and Alphonse was left alone. He idly looked over at the hour and got off from his chair.
It was about time to start things up, but before that, he had to meet up with Hod. He wasn't quite sure what to do about her, but in all fairness, he didn't either for Yesod or Netzach, so he would just wing it and hope for the best.
"H-hello! Um… hi…"
Hod stared at him, hand raised in greeting with a slight tremble, she began tensing up as he drew closer and returned the greeting.
"Y-you're not angry with me, are you?" She asked.
He really didn't know what gave her that impression. He supposed that the man he was inhabiting probably had a case of resting bitch face, just like he did, but he felt that wasn't quite it.
"Not really. Chill, there's nothing wrong, Hod." He shook his head. "Everything's holding up well here?"
"Y-yes! Thank you for asking, manager." Hod nodded, putting her hands together and nervously rubbing the back of one with the other. "The Training Team is… umm… we're… what we do here is…"
Alphonse didn't try to steer her in a direction, though he was feeling slightly miffed about her various false starts. He'd already been through that song and dance once and was going through it again.
"You know how… accidents happen in the company. And um… about half of those accidents could be prevented if the employees showed… more initiative."
He had already heard the speech once and now was hearing it repeated verbatim. Idly, he considered how many times he would end up hearing it again. Hundreds? He hoped not, he would likely end up losing his patience well before then.
"So to help with that, the Training Team composes and provides employees with work manuals and um… training. You know? To try and reduce the number of accidents."
Alphonse nodded along and held back a sigh. He tried to keep his focus on Hod, though he was beginning to find it difficult. His issues didn't have any bearing to what he had to do in the facility. If he wanted to not deal with things so many times, he had to try his best to get it all right as soon as he could.
"We also run training programs for when an employee has to transfer to a different department, to try to get them to adapt well to their new department. I know I'm not very skillful, but I'm sure I won't be a hindrance, manager!"
"I'm sure you'll do fine, Hod. No need to put yourself down so quickly." Alphonse said as he nodded.
"R-really? I'm just not sure if I'm being any help right now." Hod spoke up timidly as she looked aside. "I've been testing out a new employee program these days and I still don't know if it'll work out but, um… I just want to help the employees."
"A counseling program, right?" Alphonse remarked. "It's a nice start towards improving things for employees, I'd say."
Unfortunately, the fact that she was prescribing Enkephalin to them was a rather bad look to her, but…
"Y-you've heard about it already!? I've only recently started it! I didn't think you'd have heard about it!" Hod said, looking slightly aghast at his declaration. The surprise on her face made him flinch as he realized that he had slightly misstepped and revealed something he wasn't told about.
"I'm the manager, Hod. It's my job to stay on top of things, you know?" Alphonse just laughed "Besides, with Angela as my secretary I'd obviously find out almost as soon as you even spoke about the idea with anyone."
"O-oh, I guess that makes sense…" Hod muttered and Alphonse internally breathed a sigh of relief when his save worked.
A knock on the door interrupted them, followed by a clerk with a blonde bobcut entering the room.
"Miss Hod, are you busy right now?"
It was Tiffany, the one employee who had been squeezing Hod for Enkephalin. He saw the pair talking and he couldn't help but feel a pit in his stomach just looking at their interaction. It was rather forced now that he looked at it closely, and it was beyond obvious the clerk was just buttering up Hod.
"Thank you, Tiffany!" The Sephirah said, looking like she was about to cry. "I'm so glad to see you getting better. I heard you'll be transferring to a different team soon, I hope you'll do well there! Please, make sure not to forget all the conversations we had."
"Of course I won't!" Tiffany said and bid her goodbye
It took everything in him not to make a face of discomfort when Hod looked back at him expectantly after the clerk left.
"Do you see that, manager!?" Hod said, full of enthusiasm. "My program's really working!"
He measured his words carefully, unsure of what to say as he closed his eyes and hummed to stall for time. He wasn't sure if he had to point out how Tiffany looked or if it was best for him to let sleeping dogs lie for the time being. Something of a compromise between the two came to mind.
He needed to address things, like it or not. So he made his move.
"I've got to say, I'm feeling pretty invested in this, Hod." Alphonse added with a nod. "I've been wanting to improve conditions for everyone for a while now and a program like this could go a long way towards doing that."
"You really think so?" Hod asked, a bright smile on her face. "Thank you, manager, it means a lot to me to hear you say that!"
"Of course, don't sweat it. That said…" Alphonse raised his hands as if to tell her to stop. "It is my job to look over everything and see how well it does. I'm thinking about evaluating your program a little bit more in-depth, see if there's anything we could add to it to help the employees."
"Yes, that'd be fantastic, manager!" Hod said, her beaming smile only widening further. "I want to be as helpful a person as I can be here. The harder I try, the more lives I can save!"
"So what hours are you open for consultations?" Alphonse asked, hands in his labcoat's pockets. "I think the best way to go about it is to take the program for a spin myself, figure out what it's like and gauge things like that."
Hod immediately balked at his words, completely caught off guard by what he said. Frankly, he saw the worth in the project, but first it needed to have the Enkephalin supply cut at its knees if it was to have any sort of positive influence on the employees.
"I… manager I wasn't quite expecting that." Hod said, blinking a couple times as she looked at him. "W-why would you need counseling? You…"
"People may think I'm just some kind of king living it up from his throne on high, but I've also got my own share of issues, you know?" Alphonse crossed his arms and smirked. "I have plenty to worry about each day, and I'm managing things as best I can, but stuff just happens, you know?"
Alphonse allowed his words to hang for a while longer, then sighed when he realized Hod didn't even catch the pun he very much intended.
"So yeah, I want a consultation. If you can open up some space for me later, that'd be great." He shrugged. "What do you say, Hod? When is a good time?"
"Umm… I'll check my schedule, manager." Hod said, suddenly seeming a whole lot less confident. "I just didn't think you'd ever ask for a consultation."
"Fair enough, though do keep it the same as you did for Tiffany. Don't change the program on my account." Alphonse said, waving his hand in front of his face a bit before lying through his teeth. "Lighten up, your program should pass muster easily if it's helped someone as much as it has already."
"You're right, manager. Don't worry, I'll keep things as they are." Hod replied with a nod and a faint smile. "I've already helped Tiffany, so I know I can help more people too. The program is perfect, you'll see. Can we meet at mealtime after work?"
"No, I've already got a meeting set up around then. Busy times." Alphonse shook his head. "Feel free to set it up this evening, I'm usually up for a good while."
"Um… then…" Hod blinked and looked at the floor. "It may be better if I contact you later, I'll ask for your available times once I've fully figured it out."
"By all means, take your time. And don't be afraid to tell me if you have an open space just a few minutes in advance, I'll let you know if I can make it." Alphonse nodded and then stretched slightly. "Anywho, the workday should be starting soon, so I'll get back to my office now. See you in a while?"
"Yes, I'll see you later, manager! Good luck with work today!"
Alphonse waved Hod goodbye and turned around, leaving as he took a deep breath that he only let go of once he was out of the department.
"Fucking Christ…" He murmured as he took the elevator back up to Control.
He really wasn't sure how he was actually meant to conduct himself. Part of him was cringing at how fake he was being with Hod. Was he being manipulative with the way he presented himself and just abused the knowledge he wouldn't have without the time loop?
Probably yes.
Did it make him feel bad? Definitely yes.
The real question was if it was exactly the sort of thing that would be expected of him in trying to reach out to the Sephirah or if he was shooting himself in the foot for trying to go in with something resembling a plan.
He stepped out of the elevator and moved through the halls of the Control Department, receiving a few greetings that he only returned with a nod as he kept going. In all fairness to him, he didn't really have a proper plan. He didn't know what was up with everyone and what they needed from him. Frankly, it was just dumb luck that he'd managed to strike a chord with Netzach and Yesod.
The worries he had, he carried all the way with him back to his office.
Malkuth stared at the back of the manager as he stepped into an elevator and departed for his office. She tapped her fingers on her clipboard, making a rhythmic series of thumps as she saw him leave.
He had barely even acknowledged her when she greeted him. He may have looked rather preoccupied with his thoughts, but that was terribly rude of him. She had things to speak about with him before the workday started, such as how well her drills were going and how responsive the replacement agents were.
The tapping turned a little faster as she also started to tap with her foot at the floor.
Maybe he also needed to keep notes like her to let him know to check up on people every now and then? That seemed silly, the manager couldn't be anything like her. They didn't have the luxury of hiring someone so inept for their job. So was he deliberately ignoring her?
That would be very unfortunate. She knew she was a bit of an inattentive klutz, but she was trying her hardest. Even when the Ordeals showed up, she was doing her best, fighting through the pulsating nausea she felt looking at them.
She heard a crack. Looking for the source she saw that she'd snapped the top of the clipboard from where she was holding it.
"Oh. I better replace this one…"
She felt so silly, getting so worked up over something so small.
Something so… so small and insignificant.
Chapter 39: And no one will miss us ~ 3.4 ~
Chapter Text
Angela returned to the manager's office in the middle of the workday. Alphonse only stopped to nod towards her in acknowledgement before turning back into the microphone.
"Basil, I'm going to need you to perform Attachment work with the Teddy Bear. Asera, you hold on outside the Shy Guy's room until I give you the go ahead. Emma, you're up for Repression work with Reddit."
'As it fucking deserves' she heard the man mutter under his breath with a chortle. She had no idea why he was calling the All-Around Helper that. It was clearly some kind of joke only he was privy to, but she had no interest in knowing where it even came from.
After giving his orders, he took a moment to breathe and turned to look at her. Something in his expression changed and he winced after a while. She found it strange, she hadn't done much at all that could get such a reaction.
Her curiosity over the sudden discomfort won out and she asked, "What's the matter, manager? You seem agitated over something."
"Gah, I'm shit at keeping a straight face with you, aren't I?" Alphonse remarked, groaning loudly and scratching at the back of his head. "I'm just… I wanted to bring up something, but I'm having a bit of a hard time. Words are hard to come by."
Angela raised a brow, confused by his sudden reticence. Allowing him a bit more time to speak his mind, he wasted a while just looking to the side like a fool.
"I certainly won't be finding out what you have in mind if you don't speak up." She quipped, drawing a small groan from the man.
"Alright, alright, jeez." He let out a breath. "I actually set up something and I'm not really sure how you'll feel about it…"
"Oh, do you mean your counseling session with Hod?" Angela said without missing a beat. "I am well aware of that. I see no issues with that. I presume you will use it to fulcrum into why her counseling program is worthless if you were putting it generously and an active detriment to everyone if you were not?"
Angela watched as the man looked aside and sighed.
"Yeah, basically."
She couldn't help but blink at the simple answer.
"I was expecting you to ask me to be more diplomatic with my words."
"Yeah, no. When you're right, you're right." Alphonse answered. "You're putting it lightly already. The second she started giving out Enkephalin like candy is the second the program turned to dogshit regardless of her intentions."
He crossed his arms and shook his head. "I am interested in finding out what else she does with her counseling, but from the outset, it's looking really bad. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, even if you don't do it, I'm gonna be canning that shit as soon as I can."
The admission caught Angela a little off guard. She guessed the two of them could agree more consistently on matters, a pleasant surprise, if she had to admit to it. The sudden delight became tempered by his expression returning to the same discomforted, awkward one from before.
"But no, I wasn't actually talking about the thing with Hod." He said, turning aside. "I…man, I think you're not gonna like this…"
"Out with it." She couldn't help but say, her arms crossed as she looked down at him.
"I, uh…" He looked away for a moment, biting on his tongue lightly before spouting off, "I set a meeting up with Benjamin."
She stared at him for several long seconds, biting down on the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose and instead looking at him with immense disapproval.
After what seemed like an hour where Alphonse was just looking away from her and struggling to keep his composure, he raised his hands as if to appease her as he rolled his chair away from her slightly.
"Ok, listen, we're not talking about any company secrets or anything sensitive, just catching up on recent events. I was insisting on it, even." He tried to defend himself uselessly.
"I am in awe, I fail to see what you even wish to accomplish with this." Angela shot back, making the man flinch away.
Remaining quiet for a moment, he sighed and said. "I'm sorry, I just…wanted to talk with him while I still can."
Angela's expression faltered considerably at his words. Alphonse's phrasing wasn't lost on her.
He was well aware that Benjamin would die by her hand. It couldn't be helped, that was simply what the script ordained. She wasn't sure if he knew or internalized the idea that there was such a thing, but he knew very well that Benjamin was not meant to survive.
Thus he wanted to talk. Not about anything particularly important about the facility or the circumstances that brought everyone here, just for the pleasant experience of spending time with a person as wonderful as Benjamin. She understood why; it wasn't as though she'd forgotten just how much Benjamin's letter meant to Alphonse.
And it wasn't as though she'd forgotten just how much her own talks with Benjamin meant to her. She certainly wasn't pleased that the man was wrong about Ayin and told her that all he needed was just a little bit more time, but it was still very much something she appreciated hearing all the same.
Just as much as she appreciated hearing Benjamin say that it made no difference to him whether or not she was a machine. She supposed it couldn't be helped that his assurances similarly affected Alphonse in such a way.
Angela let out a breath.
"You're unbelievably brazen, I hope you realize."
The most important question in regards to the matter was if it was going to be a problem for them to have such a conversation. In all frankness, she wasn't sure. X and Benjamin had met in person in prior cycles, before her implementation of the cognition filter. They agreed to do so in more private locations, however.
Then again, if he held true to his word and kept the conversation light and unrelated to the secrets of the facility…it was hard to tell whether that would be a problem or not.
"I hope you won't make any lapses in judgement when you are speaking with him, otherwise we will be having a rather…unpleasant conversation."
Alphonse seemed surprised at her response and the reason why became apparent a moment after.
"You're not coming along?"
The question stunned her momentarily, long enough for him to continue on and add, "I mean, it's definitely the best way to ensure I don't get off track if it worries you."
She let out a breath after that. In a way he was not wrong, however…
"It would be for the best if we did not encounter each other." She said, taking a moment to look the man in the eye. "I will still be observing you, but I will trust you to measure your words carefully and speak only of what you've said you will."
"Thanks, Angela." Alphonse said, letting out a breath. "I'll keep it light, like I said."
Angela let out a breath of her own. The things she was subjected to, these days…
"See to it that you do."
Alphonse couldn't help but feel like he was getting cold feet when he stood in front of the door to the mess hall. There was a weighty pressure that he couldn't brush aside when he considered the notion of actually having to talk with Benjamin.
There was so much he wanted to actually lay out explicitly and he wasn't sure how to do it.
As he stood there, contemplating what to do, the door suddenly opened up. No one was coming through and he didn't approach any closer to it. Only one thought came to mind.
"Damn it, quit busting my balls, Angela." He muttered while looking towards a corner where a camera was looking right at him.
There was no reply, however, so he simply took a breath and he stepped forward, looking around the mess hall for any sign of Benjamin and not finding him. It took him a couple seconds to realize he was actually in line to grab some food. Alphonse waited until he was able to grab his own meal before greeting Benjamin.
The man was caught like a deer in headlights upon spotting him, and Alphonse just gestured with his head towards a table off in a corner. Benjamin returned the gesture with a wary nod and the two of them went off towards the table.
As they both sat down, Alphonse took a breath, completely stuck on what to say for a few minutes. He breathed in and stumbled with the most casual starter.
"So, how've you been, Benjamin?"
The man looked away, suddenly flustered and struggling with his own words just as much as Alphonse was doing.
"Pretty well?"
Alphonse couldn't help himself then and laughed. What else could he do? It felt ridiculous to see the two of them, grown-ass men, stuttering and going on all sorts of false starts like they were meeting their kindergarten crush.
After a few more seconds of laughter, all his worries felt like they melted away into his gut and he began more boldly.
"Well, things've been like hell in a handbasket, frankly, but when have they not?" Alphonse remarked and he took a long, drawn out breath. "I've been dealing with things as they come, and that's good enough for now, I guess."
"I see." Benjamin said, faintly smiling at him with a nod. "On my end, research has been progressing slowly. I'm given to understand that our findings have helped stabilize the E.G.O. you assign to our employees, although it's merely by 0.5%"
"Eh, half of a percentage is better than nothing." Alphonse remarked with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm curious as to how your research goes and if there's anything I can do to help push it forward, though. E.G.O. is fascinating, even if it feels weirdly gross at times."
"Weirdly gross?" Benjamin asked, raising a brow. "I suppose that is one way to look at it."
"No, yeah, it's really cool, but it feels like you just flayed something alive and put its skin over you." Alphonse admitted, looking aside. "Kind of off-putting, you know?"
"Wait, have you…?" Benjamin paused and stared at him like he grew a second head. He leaned closer and hissed in a whisper. "Have you used E.G.O.?"
"Oh yeah, I've done it." Alphonse said, not making a big deal out of it. "Up to TETH level. Haven't pushed up to HE just yet, but I'd count on it happening sometime soon."
"What kind of situations have you encountered that forced you into such a position that you would have to use E.G.O.?" Benjamin stared at him with his teeth clenched and a clear worry written on his face. He supposed it made sense the man was fussing over him due to that, but he just shook his head.
"Big situations. Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Alphonse said, shrugging his shoulders.
"This is…" Benjamin's face twisted into a grimace. "You're going to give me a heart attack at this rate, you know?"
Alphonse offered a helpless grin as he stared at Benjamin while the man avoided his gaze for a few seconds.
"You…weren't supposed to have the aptitude to use E.G.O."
That gave Alphonse pause. He hummed and looked right at his food.
"Couldn't tell you why I do all of a sudden." He said, and he wasn't lying. The fact that he was someone other than the one whose body he was inhabiting could have been it, but he really didn't know how that worked out.
What was the connection point between E.G.O. and a person? The body made sense because it was physical like E.G.O., but then his presence would've done nothing for it. The mind, then? Perhaps, but wouldn't E.G.O react to the disjoint between his mind and body?
Maybe it was something he wasn't really equipped to answer. Not at the moment anyways.
As the two of them seemed to ponder on the reason for his sudden ability to use E.G.O., they failed to notice the employees approaching them until after one spoke up.
"Eyyo, boss!"
Alphonse turned his head to come face to face with a familiar face he'd never beheld in person.
The woman in front of him was short. Short short. Tiny. Her head was level to his while he was seated and he felt fairly confident that if he got up, his chin wouldn't even touch the tip of her head if he tried to rest it there. Her brown hair was done up in a pair of large buns that hung low and almost touched her shoulders. Her pinkish, visibly soft skin gave her a baby-like quality that felt strange to behold amidst the employees of the facility. Her confident smile seemed to defy the world around her, like she was loudly saying 'try me, mate, see what happens.'
"Basil, good to see you." Alphonse said, though he felt rather awkward, given it was the first time they'd met in person.
For her part, Basil ignored his discomfort to look at the three employees behind her with a loud "Eeeeeeey! Told you he wasn't that bad. He bothered remembering our names!"
A taller, if not particularly tall, green haired woman in her late thirties groaned, her long ponytail swayed side to side as she shook her head and stared at Basil warily.
"Sure, sure. You keep telling yourself that." Emma said as she rolled her eyes, disgruntled, before she turned to look at the man beside her. "You buy into it?"
The man in question had dark red hair, all of it slicked back, with only a few loose strands making it clear he hadn't used gel to get that look going. He stared at her with a general look of disinterest through a pair of rimless, round glasses, a feature he only gained today as an E.G.O gift from the All-Around Helper.
"I cannot say if I 'buy' into it or not. It depends entirely on what he has to say to Basil's proposal." Came Asera's even response.
From behind the three came a muted "hm". The fourth person was one he recognized vaguely. Unhealthy looking skin, dark red dreads, messy stubble and complete dead-eyed stare; Archer stared down at him as he drank from a soda can.
Alphonse was frankly a little bit taken back by the sudden crowd that approached him, and so did Benjamin apparently, but he just decided to roll with it and asked. "So whatcha need from lil' ol' me?"
"Boss, we want a rec room!" Basil demanded as she raised her hands into the air. "This place sucks! There's nothing to do! I know we signed that 50 day contract and all, but this shit is awful and boring!"
Alphonse couldn't help but laugh out loud. Benjamin turned to look at him as it was…well, more of a cackle than a laugh at that point.
"God, don't I fucking know it." Alphonse chuckled as he shook his head. "I was wondering when someone was going to bring it up, people have to play fuckin' word chain to amuse themselves in here. It's miserable!"
"Right!?" Basil asked, arms raised up high. "Boss, you've gotta help us, we're going crazy over here! We need movies and games and stuff!"
"And a gym and a pool and a goddamn basketball court!" Alphonse added cheerily
"Yes!" Basil clapped as she stared at him. "You get it!"
"'Course the Nest nepobaby asks for amenities like the ones on her residential cluster." Emma growled for a moment until Basil turned around and lightly punched her in the arm.
"That's goddamn right! I believe in human rights! Like the right to not have to be like a goddamn zombie staring at a wall until the next day of work!" Basil yelled out loud.
"Preach, sister." Alphonse added with a laugh. "I have like…a gramophone in my room for some reason and a bunch of records with music I just feel whatever about, and in my free time the only thing I can do is just sit there and listen to it. It's better than nothing, but I'm getting a bit tired of it. I could do with something else, too."
"Really? So you wouldn't mind doing us a solid and just doing a little bit of…" Basil made wide gestures with her hands. "And a little bit of…" she continued to gesture wildly. "And just get us some stuff? I hear there's some kind of Architecture Department."
"I'll see what I can do, because goddamn, now I want that too." Alphonse said longingly. "My stay here is also pretty tortuous as it is. Least the bastard who made this place could do is have the decency to make this space livable."
The agent started jumping excitedly at the news while he laughed. Emma was rightfully dubious while Asera kept an even expression. Archer though? Archer made Alphonse feel somewhat nervous as he just stared right into his soul.
Soon, the group sat down at the table beside them and started talking animatedly. Mostly it was Basil, with the rest of them just getting caught in her rhythm. After it became clear that they were not going to be free of the agent for a while, Alphonse looked at Benjamin and asked, "Ring me up later?"
Benjamin nodded, a faint smile on his face.
They hadn't really managed to talk about a whole lot of things, but a certain vibe was established between them.
For Alphonse, that was enough.
Chapter 40: And no one will miss us ~ 3.5 ~
Chapter Text
After his meal, he heard Angela through the intercom, calling out to him and mentioning that Hod finally decided on a meeting time, starting briefly. He thanked her for the information and immediately set off for the Training department.
It didn't take him long to find the Sephirah in question, and after a short walk, the two of them arrived in a somewhat cramped little office with a desk and a narrow couch with a bunch of pillows thrown on one side, as if trying to emulate a stereotypical therapist's room and failing by a mile.
"Thanks for having me here, Hod." Alphonse politely kept his thoughts to himself and adjusted his labcoat as he sat down on the couch.
"No, thank you for having so much faith in me, Manager." Hod said with a bright smile as she sat down behind the desk. "I never imagined you'd be joining the counseling program. I'm sure you'll find it'll work wonders for you."
"That would be nice, but let's not get ahead of ourselves, now." Alphonse chuckled briefly and clapped his hands softly. "So, how do we do this?"
"Um…well, first I usually ask, how was your day, manager?" Hod asked, looking at him expectantly.
"It was pretty nice overall." Alphonse remarked. "Talked a bit with a friend, saw some employees in high spirits and I had a day…mostly without incident."
"That's good to hear!" Hod said as she nodded along and leaned back on her chair. "Um, so usually for the first session, I ask a few personal questions. You wouldn't mind answering them, would you?"
Alphonse brought a hand to his mouth and he hummed. He'd…actually never talked with anyone about his life before being trapped in Lobotomy Corporation. Not Angela, not Benjamin and not even Netzach, even if he did tell the last one a bit. He didn't feel particularly guarded about the topic, but it never really came up.
"Sure, shoot." Alphonse shrugged. He guessed there was no harm in sharing a bit of his personal history.
"Um, so what's your family situation?" Hod asked, looking at him from where she sat. "How is your family?"
"I have a brother and my mom and dad divorced like…ten to fifteen-odd years ago." Alphonse began, looking to the ceiling and crossing his arms. "It's been a while since I last saw my dad in person, but he was doing alright."
He sighed and shook his head. "Mom and my brother were doing just fine before I got hired here." He half-lied, given his arrival at the facility was more complicated than just landing a job. "Bit short on money, but when is anyone not?"
"I see. And did you live in the Nest or the Backstreets?" Hod asked, her tone a bit numb and her eyes wide.
"We were pretty middle-class, I'd say." Alphonse dodged the question since he really wasn't sure which of the two to compare with his living situation.
Sure he lived somewhere nice, which would push him to say the Nest, but there were all the occasional break-ins in his neighborhood, so…
"Hm, and how do you think the divorce affected you growing up?" Hod asked, staring at him without blinking. "I can't imagine how painful it must have been to watch your family come apart like that…"
Alphonse made a sound between a hum and a groan as he looked away.
"It was fairly civil as far as divorces go. Could have been infinitely more messy and violent." He brushed off the topic.It was no skin off his back at that point, but the way she phrased that rubbed him the wrong way. "I don't think it's too relevant."
"O-oh, I see!" Hod said as she sat ramrod straight for a couple seconds before she relaxed slightly. "And what about yourself as you grew up? What was your life like?"
"It was so-so." Alphonse shrugged his shoulders. "I'd say my life was pretty boring. No major incidents to speak of, fairly good grades at school, just bounced around and lived life normally.. Made a few friends but never ended up sticking with anyone too much."
If there was something that did happen to him that did fuck with him, he'd have to say it was the COVID pandemic, but he kept that to himself; he hardly knew if the City had any similar incidents in recent history.
"I had a few issues with college and my fair share of grievances and frustration with the state of education, but that's a whole can of worms to unpack." Alphonse shook his head. "It hardly matters at this point anyways. I was close to finishing college before I got hired here."
"I see, and how did you feel about joining Lobotomy Corporation?" Hod said, putting her hands together.
"Honestly, not too pleased." Alphonse grimaced. "It's been a violent change in my life that I've only barely managed to adjust to. I'm not happy with the job, but I don't particularly have much of a say here. I'll stick around so the job gets done until it gets done."
"Um…I guess that makes sense, but you have to take better care of yourself." Hod remarked as she looked towards a notepad on her desk. "This job is harsh, but it's definitely a great opportunity! The company has several benefits for your family's welfare!"
Her words kind of went in one ear and out the other, the company genuinely didn't give a rat's ass about him and he knew it. Arguing about that with Hod wouldn't do him any good, though, so he kept his silence.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot! I need to ask you a few general wellness questions." Hod spoke up, shrinking on herself. "How about we try going through them quickly?"
"Alright, fair enough." Alphonse nodded. "Go ahead."
"Okay, so…" Hod began grabbing the notepad and flipping the pages. "How do you feel at the moment physically and mentally?"
"A little exhausted but able to continue working."
"What is taking up most of your headspace at the moment?"
"Work and work-related expectations."
"What or who makes you happiest? Why?"
"The quiet after the workday ends." Alphonse began grimacing. He wasn't happy about the answers but there really was nothing else he had in that godforsaken place. "Because it means the Abnormalities are placed in torpor and nothing else will happen for the rest of the day."
"What will you do to bring yourself joy?"
"Talk with friends during mealtime."
"What are you most committed to?"
"Finishing my workplace obligations." An euphemism for doing what the facility wanted out of him to get out of that dump.
"Do you have enough quiet time for yourself?"
"Too much with nothing to do with it."
"When was the last time you ate a full meal?"
"Just today."
"Do you have thoughts of violence against yourself or others?"
Yes, he wanted to wring the neck of the bastard who made the facility.
"Not particularly."
"What are your hobbies?"
"I like writing and reading, though I haven't had much of a chance to give time to either."
"Do you have any strange habits or manias?"
"No." Did she really expect anyone to just admit to any such things?
"Have you recently experienced any sensory hallucinations?"
"No."
"Are you planning to be or are currently sexually active?"
He blinked. He wasn't expecting that question. Were people in the facility…?
No, no. That figured. People had nothing to do in the damned place for hours at a time. Whatever the company policy was on fraternizing, it was probably ignored.
"No." He answered flatly.
"Have you recently consumed human flesh?"
"What." He turned to stare at Hod with a disgusted expression.
"A-are you satisfied with your-"
"No. No. Back the fuck up." Alphonse raised his hands with a grimace. "What was that question?"
"Um…I know it's an uncomfortable topic." Hod faltered, looking away for a moment, "But given human consumption isn't criminalized in several parts of the City, it's important to ask."
"Jesus fucking Christ, what?" Alphonse recoiled, a shiver running down his spine all the while.
Just how bad were things in the City anyways? And why the hell wasn't cannibalism outlawed everywhere?
Before he could get too hung up on what was predictably a topic to get really hung up on, Hod spoke up.
"Um, manager, since it's very clear that you have very strong thoughts about the topic, I can easily assume the answer is no, s-so how about we move on?"
"Hod, what the hell? What's the company policy on this?" Alphonse just continued to stare at Hod as he crossed his arms. "If an employee said 'yes' what would happen with them?"
"It, um…depends on how long it's been." She said, looking away. "If it was before employment, then there's nothing to be done? If it was during it, then there'd be, um…corrective measures."
"Has anyone ever admitted to it?" Alphonse asked.
"I wouldn't want to break patient doctor confidentiality, so I'm afraid I can't answer that, manager."
Alphonse pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned How the fuck did you even begin to unpack that?
"If any workers are found chewing on their dead co-workers, it's on your head, Hod." Alphonse said, staring at the Sephirah judgingly.
Hod just avoided his gaze entirely. Yes, the topic was cutting rather rudely into what was supposed to be a normal counseling session, but he wasn't about to just brush it aside immediately.
The Sephirah just stared at her notepad for a couple minutes, flipping through the pages in uneasy silence for a while until she found it within herself to speak up again.
"Um, so…are you feeling satisfied with your current position in the company?"
Alphonse took a deep breath, several long seconds passing as he took in air and let it out.
"No, not particularly."
Hod nodded along, remaining quiet for a few moments as she kept looking at the notepad before putting it down.
"Okay…so…um…" She struggled with her words for a moment. "Given everything you've said, it's very clear you're a hard worker and you take everything seriously in the workplace. That's a very admirable quality for a manager, but…"
Hod paused for a moment as Alphonse stared at her, waiting for her next words.
"But you are also...um, under a lot of stress." She continued. "Because you're always thinking about work all the time and you haven't managed to disconnect from it. It's important to be responsible given your position, but you also need to find ways to stop thinking about work."
Hod nodded and smiled brightly. "So my recommendation is to stop allowing work to occupy your mind to ease the pressure on you! W-what do you think, manager?"
What did he think? He thought it took every ounce of restraint for him to not snap at Hod for giving the most stupidly worthless advice ever; he lived in the damn place now, and he couldn't possibly escape unless he went through a million hoops. How the hell was he supposed to stop thinking about work if it just became his life?
His thoughts were definitely showing, though, as Hod's smile started shrinking bit by bit as she expected an answer from him. He didn't provide it immediately as he slowly considered his words.
"It's not exactly viable for me to separate from work when I live here due to contractual obligations." He pointed out, shaking his head. "If it was possible, I'd have fully retreated to that ages ago."
"B-but…" Hod stuttered, trying to find her footing. "Manager, surely you can dedicate yourself to your hobbies?"
"Tried and failed. The pressure from work has me too wrapped up to have an original thought, and I don't particularly have a whole selection of books to read." Alphonse replied flatly.
"I'm sorry, manager. S-surely there's things that could interest you? Exercising, maybe?" Hod asked.
"There are no dedicated spaces for that in the facility and there are limits to what I can do without one." Alphonse pointed out.
"Um…" Hod looked at the walls side to side as if they were closing in. "Manager, I-I can't help you if you won't let me."
"There isn't much you can help with, the way the facility is set up" Alphonse shot back. "There are no recreational facilities, no resources put towards that end and no communication with the outside. The entire world has been compressed into this building and there is no indication that there is anything other than it. Obviously that's going to make it impossible for people here to have anything other than work here."
"Manager! I- you're-" Hod clammed up and then spoke more forcefully. "T-this is avoidance behavior! You need to confront the problem instead of running away!"
Alphonse let out a harsh breath and closed his eyes.
"Hod, you don't just dump that shit on a patient like that. You're moving too fast, too harsh and without the proper support structure." He remarked and then looked at Hod again.
"You just insisted on starting off on the wrong foot! My counseling always goes much better than this!" Hod protested.
Alphonse let his eyelids hang low as he took a breath. Best to get the whole ugly affair done with already.
"Alright, let's pretend for a second that it all went hunky dory." Alphonse remarked. "What comes after that? Any other comments or recommendations? A prescription?"
"I'm not going to pretend that things are alright!" Hod shot back angrily. "Manager, we haven't solved anything!"
"And the Enkephalin you've been giving employees with the program has?" Alphonse cut the bullshit, and glared at the Sephirah as she froze up and recoiled. "No more dancing around it, Hod. I know you've been prescribing it to the employees along with your counseling program."
"Of course I am! It's a relaxant! The employees need it!" Hod argued.
"It's a highly addictive substance and you've been handing it over freely to the employees." Alphonse rolled his eyes. "Netzach is always high off of it and everyone knows it, you should know better, Hod."
"I'm just trying to help the employees! Why are you getting in my way, manager!?" Hod screeched, getting off of her chair.
"Because you're not helping anyone, Hod!" Alphonse got off his seat, practically looming over the girl. He pointed a finger towards her. "You don't have the proper training, you don't have the resources and you are just making employees into junkies! How the hell am I supposed to keep quiet when that's what's going on?"
"You're wrong! Can't you see I'm just trying to help!? I'm the only one who cares about the employees!" Hod argued, leaning over her desk. "I'm the nicest Sephirah! The other Sephirot don't even care about how their subordinates end up! I'm not working them into the ground like Malkuth! I'm not ignoring them and forcing them to stick to the rules like Yesod! And I definitely don't act like it just can't be helped like Netzach! So why are you stopping me!?"
Hod stopped to take heavy breaths as she stared at Alphonse, her eyes full of hurt and genuine confusion. He couldn't help but feel bad about putting her down like that, but the way things were…
He just breathed out.
"Hod, did you even check Tiffany's records? She had an Enkephalin addiction." Alphonse pointed out as he shook his head. "And you gave her more Enkephalin to feed her addiction. I'm stopping you because you don't know what the hell you're even doing."
Alphonse turned back and stood at the door, letting out a sigh and glancing at Hod.
"Effective immediately, your counseling program is on hold until you sort your shit out." He said with a tired tone. "You can still clutch this and save the program, but you need to actually learn how to effectively address the employees' grievances instead of what you've got going on right now."
Hod didn't answer, she just looked straight at her desk, fists clenched and placed over it. Allowing her the silence, Alphonse went out, the door shutting loudly behind him.
Alphonse walked on until he reached the corridors of the training team, at which point he just rubbed his face and groaned.
"Fuck me, that was rough."
Frankly, he wasn't sure if going over things the way he did was a good look for him either, but he just had to stick to his guns.
One way or the other.
Chapter 41: And no one will miss us ~ 3.6 ~
Chapter Text
Angela hardly spent much time on anything that would qualify as a nightly routine. There were some checks she had to perform on the facility's systems, but it was hardly anything extensive that would take up too much of her time.
After that, she was practically left to stare at the walls blankly until the next day unless she had to take direct action in some matter or another. It was one of the various things she was forced to endure, day after day, given she required no sleep and had no analogous functions that would allow her to idle away in blissful unconsciousness.
With options so limited, she was left with a pointed awareness of what was in the facility at all times. Thus, when there was even infinitesimal change within the facility, she was made aware of it in an instant.
The change that began to take hold was not infinitesimal. She saw the cameras shaking as the earth shifted and was carved away by a force manifested from deep within the fathoms of a mind that exerted absolute control over their surroundings. She saw figures emerging from the deepest depths of the facility, moving in complete silence, boarding elevators and stalking through service tunnels whilst carrying heavy duty crates. She saw holes boring themselves through various walls, allowing glimpses into corridors absent of all light.
She saw that and more, as seconds turned to minutes, then to hours, she beheld the figures moving into the corridors, which were soon covered up by blast doors, heavier and thicker than any in the facility short of those to the manager's office.
The Architecture Department rarely ever came out to work, but every single time, she remained out of their way. Across the years, the facility changed in many small ways, each time due to emerging circumstances from within and without that were required to run the facility more efficiently each time. Sometimes, supplies came from outside through W Corp provided transportation; K Corp regenerators and ampoules with new formulas, X Corp metal plates and J Corp locks to safeguard vital systems when new and stronger Abnormalities were Extracted, and various miscellaneous electronics from a plethora of companies
The breadth of the work and changes happened on their own with their own internal resources, directed by A himself. The nature of the facility was such that he could reshape it at his whim, although it was to be an involved process that even Angela did not fully understand.
The question was, what changed? Why was the facility being modified and expanded now? Had something happened outside? What development merited this sudden action?
As the figures left, Angela felt the sudden addition of more cameras and systems to the myriad of previously established ones, and as they came online, she was left to behold the new addition.
A mix of befuddlement and anger crossed her face.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Alphonse was always something of a heavy sleeper, barring certain occasions, but he wasn't so much of one that he wouldn't be woken up when shaken awake.
"Manager! Wake up!"
He groaned loudly and muttered indistinctly, trying to remain awake only to feel his bed sheets being pulled away, at which point his brain immediately went into overdrive so he could pull them back onto his person before they were taken away.
Eyes wide, he sputtered and let out a startled cry, muttering what could very generously be construed as him saying "I'm up! I'm up!".
As he became more conscious of what was going on around him, he blinked as he stared at his bedside, blinded slightly by the lights in the room being on. It took him a while to fully process that it was Angela who was in his room, glaring at him.
He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, confused by the sight of her and still dazed from the sudden awakening..
"Get up manager!" Angela spoke with a forceful tone.
Alphonse groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. "Fuckin' hell, did my alarm break or something? What time is it?"
Angela didn't answer immediately, seemingly waiting for him to be a little more conscious before she said. "Four forty-six in the morning."
Alphonse's mouth hung open, looking at Angela in shock and some amount of indignation, but she just ignored and kept staring at him. After a moment longer, he just sighed and stretched in his bed.
"Fuckin… Give five minutes to freshen up, unless it's that urgent." He remarked as he looked back at Angela, and when she just gestured towards the bathroom, he just got up and groggily made his way there.
Closing the door behind him, he groaned as he opened the shower, turned it on and poked his head inside.
What the hell was going on? Surely it wasn't an actual emergency given that she wasn't rushing him more, but why would she just barge into his room and wake him up like that? He wondered for a moment if there was some sort of thing that happened that was meant to, an event or something. He quickly discarded the notion since nothing like that had happened the last time.
Taking the time to splash some water on his face and clean it, he sighed. Angela was really worked up about it, too. That was a rare sight if there was any. He hadn't really seen her looking like that since… Basically when they were getting along like cats and dogs.
Finishing up by drying his face and very briefly brushing his hair, he walked out to see Angela holding out his lab coat and the pair of slippers he never used.
"Jesus, will you at least explain what's going on?" Alphonse remarked as he grabbed a hold of the labcoat. He wasn't really used to walking around the facility with his nightwear.
"It'd be best for you to see rather than for me to explain." Angela said, drawing a sigh from Alphonse as she dropped the slippers right in front of his feet.
If he wasn't getting any answers out of her, then screw it. He'd just follow along.
After that brief exchange, the two moved along, allowing Alphonse to grow more and more awake and aware as they advanced. On the elevator to the facility proper, he turned to look at Angela and really started to take in her appearance.
Her face was locked in a grimace as she glared at the elevator doors. The corners of her lips twitched every so often. He couldn't help but feel ill at ease seeing how she was reacting to whatever the hell was going on, which only further begged the question of what it even was that would have her so wound up.
Problems with the Sephirot? He wasn't sure about that, everyone was… In an uneasy balance until they weren't, at which point they exploded and became an emergency that'd be more urgent than whatever they were on about. Issues with the employees? No, the procedure was basically just to suck it up whenever something bad happened to them and to punish them with extreme prejudice when they were becoming a problem themselves.
Then what else? Benjamin? He… He frankly dreaded the idea that it might relate to him. He hoped it was something else.
As they left the elevator, he let Angela lead the way. It wasn't for very far, as they suddenly came upon something he hadn't seen before; an open blast door that wasn't there before. His confusion only grew as he stepped inside, walking with Angela through a small corridor until he arrived at an intersection with signs separating them into male and female sections.
Only further confused, he stepped into his assigned section to find himself in a locker room. The strangely mundane sight only served to heighten his bewilderment as he took in the decently furnished room.
He moved further ahead, through an exit on the other side of the room and was left to face yet another room.
It was a gym, a fully furnished gym. He slowly walked around the various rows of different machines, seeing treadmills, elliptical trainers, stair climbers, exercise bicycles, rowing machines, bench, tricep and shoulder presses, battling ropes, dumbbells, barbells, everything and anything he could have possibly thought of was just there neatly arranged in different areas with plenty of space in between each other. There was even a large segment on the corner, full of mirrors and with a wood floor, presumably for calisthenics.
He took in the sight and simply stood where he was. He turned around to look at Angela and tried to say something but he found it dying in his throat as he tried a couple times.
"What?" was all that he managed after a while of struggling.
"That is not all." Angela said as she walked towards a wall with what appeared to be some kind of map, as Alphonse followed her, he took it in. "There are several other recreational facilities, including a pool, a movie theater, a room full of art supplies, and more."
Alphonse staggered as he looked at the map confirming what Angela was saying and displaying the various other facilities that had just suddenly appeared overnight.
He took a deep breath.
"Aight, I'm tapping out. Give me a while."
Alphonse sat down at the edge of the new olympic pool. He left his slippers at his side and rolled up his pants to soak his feet in the chlorinated water. Idly, he kicked his feet in the water, feeling the resistance from the liquid and watching its surface move around.
He continued the motions for a while, then laid back on the tiled floor, still kicking his legs as he blankly looked at the ceiling.
"Man, what the hell?"
He rose up and slowly took his legs out of the water, getting up and shaking them dry as he turned to look at Angela, sitting and looking at him from a bench next to the wall. Putting on the slippers he moved towards her, taking a seat right beside her and sighing loudly.
"So?" Angela asked. "How is it? Getting everything you asked for."
Alphonse bent forward, staring at the pool and groaning. It didn't escape him either that the new facilities were in fact everything he asked for during that talk with the employees yesterday.
"Like I've been punched in the gut, frankly." He said as he rubbed at his temples. "What kind of stupid joke is this?"
He shook his head and sat straight again. "This is nice. More than I'm used to here. I'm just wondering when the shoe is gonna drop and why. What's the catch?"
"So we are generally in agreement, then." Angela remarked bitterly. "These changes aren't normal. The Architecture Department never acts without a good reason, and the halfhearted complaints of a manager certainly don't qualify as one."
"Excuse you, they were wholehearted and I said them with my whole chest." Alphonse rolled his eyes and laughed, but he shook his head and his mirth off. "But I get it. This also caught you by surprise, didn't it? Nice little miracles like this just don't happen here."
Angela made a sound between a mirthless laugh and a scoff. "If this is a joke, it's certainly in poor taste."
"Question is, who even told the joke?" Alphonse said contemplatively. "And who's laughing at it?"
Angela didn't answer, but Alphonse wasn't really looking for one. He looked at his hand humming as a thought slowly formed.
After an extended silence, he nodded and turned to look at Angela.
"The letter I got from the CEO…" He said as he brought a hand to his chin. "Was it written beforehand and delivered to me, or actually written by someone?"
Angela looked at him, raising a brow. For his part, Alphonse just nodded and looked away.
"Yesod said it, the guy who I'm meant to be is the 'architect' of this place." He stated as he looked at the pool. "So I've been… a little on the fence on what that means, in some ways."
"What do you mean?" Angela asked, staring at him.
"Did the CEO write the letter beforehand and had it delivered on that day, or did he actually pen it on that day?" Alphonse repeated the question as he crossed his arms. "The answer is pretty significant and implies different things. Thanks to this little gift, I'm more inclined to think that it's the latter."
Alphonse got up and paced around.
"The place looks nice, but it's not exactly the image that'd come to my mind when I think of recreational facilities. Neither is the layout or placement." He started and took a deep breath. "In other words, I didn't make this or plan it in any way that the Architecture Department could have responded to."
He turned around as he walked and gestured vaguely at the ceiling. "In other words. The CEO, A, is in the facility and he heard me. Then he made these recreation facilities."
"These are some leaps of logic you are making." Angela pointed out.
"And yet they're not exactly 100% off the mark, are they?" He said with a smirk as he looked at his assistant. "I wasn't entirely sure how things really are, and I'm still not, but I think I get enough to draw a very specific conclusion; A is real, he is here and I can meet him eventually."
Angela couldn't help but pause as he saw Alphonse's smirk turn wider and wider with each passing second. Was he… Excited?
"Good. Good! Now I'm motivated!" He said while changing his voice in a way that made her think he was trying to imitate someone else's tone.
"Why are you so cheerful all of a sudden?" She couldn't help but ask, genuinely baffled by his reaction.
Alphonse brought his hands together, one held out in a palm and the other as a closed fist, making a dull clap ring out when they impacted each other.
"Cuz' this means I've got someone to beat the shit out of once this is all over!" He said brightly and laughed. "Would have been a bit difficult if It was just me in the guy's body, but I can get his ass at the end of this after all!"
Angela let out a breath as she stared at the manager in awe. His face showed genuine joy at the prospect. His eagerness for violence upon her creator seemed almost infectious to her.
"Are you truly looking forward to having revenge on A?" She asked.
"Wouldn't call it revenge as much as I'd call it satisfaction." Alphonse chuckled. "Man deserves to get socked in the face, and being the one to land a punch on it will be real goddamn cathartic."
Shaking his head and keeping his smile, he looked right at her. "I'm not hearing any objections to the idea, so I'm guessing you're fine with me taking my pound of flesh?"
Angela's frown deepened.
Ayin certainly deserved some retribution for everything he'd done. She wasn't sure if it'd be all that appropriate for it to come from Alphonse and she wasn't even sure to what extent she'd like to see it.
Did she resent Ayin? Deeply, in ways no one else could fathom. But even then, she still didn't know what she wanted to do about it. She was still bound to the whims of the script, so it wasn't as though she could even consider it deeply. But what about when it was all over?
The thought that they could even get that far seemed impossible, and yet Alphonse seemed convinced that he would inevitably get there. She envied his optimism.
She chose not to answer his question. How could she, when she wasn't even sure of the answer herself?
Chapter 42: And no one will miss us ~ 3.7 ~
Notes:
I was out on vacation and finished the chapter but completely forgot to post it here. Whoops.
Chapter Text
Alphonse sat down at his chair, rubbing his eyes slightly and letting out a yawn.
He stared at the facility though the screens and the various employees walking the halls as the start of the workday approached. Some were staring at the unfamiliar blast doors for a while
"You think I'd be overstepping my authority?" He turned to look at Angela, scratching at his chin.
For her part the AI sighed.
"By all accounts, these additions are… Unprecedented." Angela said tiredly. "In the strictest terms, no one has jurisdiction over the recreational facilities, and as that is the case, all decisions made in regards to them would default to you, manager."
"Right…" Alphonse said as he breathed in.
He already discussed it with Angela. His mixed feelings on the new additions were very valid, but he'd be stupid not to make use of them.
Thus, he brought his mouth closer to the microphone and began broadcasting.
"Good morning everyone, this is your manager speaking." He began with a slightly melodic tinge to his voice. "Before we begin the workday I have some news for everyone."
Various employees stopped in place, looking at the intercom in their respective rooms.
"As most of you have no doubt noticed, there are new blast doors across various parts of the facility, all currently locked." Alphonse continued. "It is with great pleasure that I would like to announce the opening of our new recreational facilities, built just last night by the Architecture Department. A round of applause for their efficient and timely work!"
Some employees actually cheered, while others just stared back at the blast doors completely flabbergasted. Alphonse cut the mic and groaned at his fake cheer, while Angela held back a sigh.
"Now, while the facilities will be open after the workday today, we will be setting workshops and courses with specific schedules later." Alphonse continued when the cheering lowered enough. "I am making an open call to any and all employees with a dedicated background or sufficient knowledge on coaching, nutrition, arts, crafts and other relevant topics in order to organize said courses and workshops. All participating employees will be eligible for a bonus provided they either lead the course or provide manuals for the perusal of other employees."
Alphonse took a moment to breathe and finished off by adding. "If you have an interest in participating in said programs, please present yourself at my office after mealtime and I will be happy to go over specifics with each of you. If you have relevant materials to the program among your personal effects, such as books or instructional booklets relating to the topic, please bring them with you. That has been all from me, the workday shall begin in five minutes. Good luck, everyone."
Alphonse cut the transmission and stretched his arms out, letting out a tired "woo" as he did.
"Manager, a number of the Upper Layer Sephirot wish to speak with you on this matter, even though this is outside their jurisdiction" Angela said, glancing at Alphonse.
"Yeah, we figured as much when we talked about it." Alphonse crossed his arms and nodded. "I'm on a roll now, so patch 'em through, I'll deal with it now."
The result of that was Alphonse being assaulted by a cacophony courtesy of Malkuth, Yesod and Hod across three different monitors. Netzach was excluded and given how the man was at the moment, he was not surprised by that.
"One at a time, everyone. One at a time." Alphonse drawled out, loud enough to cut through everyone else. "And for your information, this also caught me off guard, but I am making the most out of the funny little prank Architecture just dropped on us. Better to handle it like this than to shut it down."
"Manager, you didn't even consult with us about it!" Malkuth spoke with a weirdly excited tinge to her voice and a pouting expression. "This will be causing issues for all the Departments. Trying to keep our employees under control and focused on their work will be impossible with these new facilities."
"Au contraire, mon ami." Alphonse said with an almost mocking tinge to his voice. "Some R&R time will help the employees focus more on their workday, and if it starts to become a problem, then it's up to you to remind them that these facilities are not a right, they are a privilege. One that can be taken away."
Maybe his inner CEO psycho was starting to awaken, but the statement came to mind easily and he didn't have that much of a problem saying it. It only made sense, really.
"Your plans to organize workshops seem highly unfeasible." Yesod interjected immediately after. "Gathering all the employees in your office and going over specifics with them personally seems like a waste of time and energy. You would have been better served distributing such work to us, having let us know beforehand and gone through proper channels."
"There is no standard defining what I should have done, Yesod. No protocols to follow, so I am rightfully winging it." Alphonse shrugged. "And frankly, I think it would be actually detrimental to shove this onto the Sephirot. Herding the employees to organize workshops is low-stakes, no danger and no mess, all it takes is time."
Alphonse snapped his fingers and made a finger gun at Yesod.
"Time which all of you don't particularly have, last I heard." He continued. "You have enough work on your hands as it is, and if the work was part of the Sephirot's duties, you would have to waste your time between actually organizing the workshops and having to coordinate between Departments. Meanwhile, I have way too much time on my hands, and I can easily take some of it and organize with the employees."
"Even then." Yesod growled, scratching at his arm as he did. "You cannot simply offer bonuses without approval from the CEO."
"I have it on good authority," Alphonse raised a finger to the air. "That the CEO is aware of my every move and likely heard me saying that."
The manager smiled widely.
"And given that he hasn't sent so much as a message, we can assume he is fine with it." Alphonse added cheekily. "Silence implies consent in this case, otherwise I would have been smote down for daring to suggest to use company money on that."
More likely, it could also be because he thought it was a promise Alphonse couldn't make good on, either because of the employees' life expectancy or just because he wouldn't reach that point. He was more than eager to show that he could actually do it.
"I'm sure all of you have your reservations, but I assure you I know what I'm getting into." Alphonse said as he leaned back on his chair and tented his fingers. "If you find my handling of it objectionable so far, then that is noted, but frankly not a big deal. If you have any suggestions for the programs, feel free to forward them to me, I'll review and implement what I can. Is there anything else you'd feel we ought to discuss regarding this?"
Malkuth just kept her smile, fingers clattering against her clipboard as she stared right into the camera wordlessly. Yesod grumbled as he scratched at his arm harder, but the placement of the eye in the monitor suggested he was looking away. Hod, for her part, stuttered several times, trying to say something and simply failing. She looked incredibly let down and wasn't saying anything.
Once silence fell between them for a good minute, Alphonse clapped his hands and said, "Well, if there is anything further that comes to mind feel free to contact me about it. The workday is starting soon, so let's all focus on that for now, yeah?"
The various Sephirot were not all perfectly okay with it, but they had no further complaints they could bring up at the moment. They soon cut their transmissions and got back to work.
Alphonse yawned and stretched again, glancing at Angela.
"Say, could I trouble you to start a record on people who I've promised raises to, Angela?" Alphonse asked.
Angela simply nodded and said, "As your assistant, that is trivial for me."
"Thanks," Alphonse said with a smile, but paused as he looked at her. "Is something the matter?"
Angela inwardly cursed. Was she not keeping a handle on her expression? It was rather annoying to find out.
Although she could have deflected, she let out a breath and admitted, "I'm frankly surprised. You've wrangled the Sephirot quite well and handled the general situation in an appropriate way. You are far more independent and reliable than I gave you credit for; a far cry from the hapless, helpless little man you were when you first came to."
Rather than take any sort of offense, the man slapped his knee and broke out laughing.
"God, I really was!" Alphonse said with cheer and then wagged his finger at her.
The playful expression on his face was shocking to look at, so far removed from anything Ayin had made before that she couldn't help but flinch slightly even as she felt some annoyance at how flippant he was being.
"But don't get it twisted, I still am a hapless little fool." Alphonse continued, speaking softly. "I'm just getting the hang of things as I go. Maybe one day I'll be actually competent and respectable, yeah?"
He laughed as he turned back to face the monitors.
"Still, thanks for the praise. I'll be trying to make sure to live up to it." He nodded and adjusted his chair before speaking in a gruff voice. "Time to get to work."
Angela remained where she was, blinking slowly as she stared at the back of Alphonse's head.
She… hadn't really meant to praise him. That wasn't praise, and if it could be counted, it was backhanded. Had he been ignoring that fact or just trying to take it in stride? She wasn't sure which she preferred.
Angela struggled with the thought for a couple hours.
Alphonse looked at the gathering of employees with a raised brow.
"You know, for all the enthusiasm I saw on camera, there's remarkably few of you."
The gathering was made up of all of four employees, Chef Rino and the three employees from back when he met Benjamin.
"Admittedly, I am surprised to be seeing you, Emma." Alphonse added as he glanced at the green haired woman. "You were pretty dismissive of the idea of getting amenities like the ones of the 'Nest nepobaby'."
"I want the money." Emma said bluntly.
Alphonse laughed and shook his head. "Respectable. Keep hustling on that grindset."
Everyone gave him various looks of confusion, though Angela was the one whose brow rose the highest at the statement.
"So who wants to start?" Alphonse clapped his hands. "Show me what you've got."
"Well boss, I think I'm interested in making new meals for people going to the gym." Chef Rino said first. It was the first time Alphonse had seen the man so close to him, so now he was noticing the couple of scars on his jaw and cheek. "I've been forced to cook slop for the employees for a while and I have been dying to put my skills to use for something other than beans."
"Gotta put that culinary arts degree to use, huh?" Alphonse said with a grin.
"Oh no," Chef Rino waved his hand and shook his head. "I'm self taught, actually."
Alphonse blinked. Last time he mentioned his degree, but now was saying he never got one. It struck Alphonse as odd, but he let the strange contradiction go.
"Well, regardless, I'd be happy to let you cook, Chef. So long as you can organize the right menus for each employee. It seems doable, if a bit of an undertaking to know which employees need to be on which diet."
"I can work on it as long as I have them log in the sort of exercise they are performing on a sheet of paper." The Chef answered with a nod. "I have a decent grasp on nutrition in regards to exercise. I can figure it out from there."
"Perfect. Approved, Chef Rino." Alphonse snapped his fingers and pointed a finger gun at him for a moment before letting it fall to the desk. "Who else?"
"Oh, me! Me!" Basil started jumping around. "I can work as a swimming instructor!"
"You, short stuff?" Chef Rino asked, a brow raised. "Not to doubt you, but…"
"Oh, come off it!" Basil growled. "I'll have you know I won a silver medal in an inter-District swimming meet in high school!"
"That works, though how do you feel about wrangling people into having proper swimming form?" Alphonse asked.
"Oh, that's easy." She said with a cheeky smile. "I can handle them."
"Hm, and how do you feel about lifeguard duty?" Alphonse asked. "Of course, we can figure out the details of that depending on how much use the pool gets and how good people actually are at swimming. I may have to implement a system where people have to reserve lanes depending on your availability for that."
"I can handle lifeguard duty, but the times..." She hummed, "Yeah, we need to figure that out as we go."
"I believe so." Alphonse nodded. "Emma?"
"I just want my paycheck so I'll make manuals for exercises people can do at the machines." She replied briefly. "Don't want to make a whole thing of it and herd people."
"Fair enough, you can just write it down and we'll get someone to illustrate it,,," Alphonse spoke but trailed off as he saw the woman start frowning even more than before. "Something up?"
"I don't know how to write."
Alphonse scratched at his chin.
"Well shit." He said. "I'm sure we can rope in someone to write it down for you, but you two would have to share the bonus. Would you be alright with that?"
"Hell no."
Alphonse sighed and thought about it for a second.
"Well, then you're gonna have to give it some thought, make a whole thing out of it and herd people or pull out of the program. I'm sorry, but there's only so many concessions I can make." Alphonse shrugged his shoulders. "Your call."
Emma growled and looked off to the side.
"Fffffine." She said, "I'll run a course."
The enthusiasm was palpable, truly.
"And you, Asera?"
"I'd like to run some art courses." The man spoke curtly. "I was not expecting the recreational facilities to have so many options available, so I would like to do something I'm very familiar with."
"Fair enough. You think you won't snap at people's doodling?" Alphonse asked
"Everyone starts from nothing. I won't belittle them for it." Asera responded.
"Too true." Alphonse crossed his arms. "I think we can figure out some of the specifics later, for now, let's talk availability."
The conversation was frankly some of the most fun he'd had on the job at any given point. It was a feeling he'd latch onto and treasure as best he could as he looked back on it.
If only the rest of his stay in that damned place could be just as engaging.
Chapter 43: And no one will miss us ~ 3.8 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse heaved and struggled to breathe, he felt his heart about to burst out of his chest from exertion, but he pushed on regardless. At the very least, he tried to, but not even five seconds later, he gave in and stopped the treadmill.
"Mother… Of fuckers…" He heaved out even as he struggled to catch his breath, doubled over and leaned against the armrest. "This guy… Never did cardio… Once in his ffffffucking life…"
He was one to talk, but he complained regardless. Alphonse was alone at the gym, having chosen to go there afterhours for a quick round of exercise before going to sleep, given he had little else to do. He found new sets of clothes in his closet, including the black shorts and tank top with white accents he was now wearing, along with sweatbands. Useful, if a bit intrusive on the privacy of his room.
When had they shown up? Hell if he knew, but he was going to make use of them regardless.
Letting out a hoarse breath, he reached for the bottle of water he brought with him and started chugging, wiping his mouth with his forearm right after. He hobbled towards a bench and stopped to take a breather.
The day had gone pretty well, all considered. The new Abnormality in Safety was annoying, but hardly a massive problem. The red pair of shoes could enthrall his employees, but they had a pretty obvious tell whenever they did, and he could just snap the employee in question out of it just by talking to them. Rather forgiving, as far as HE Abnormalities went
It was nice that he was getting to the point where he thought the third most dangerous Abnormalities were mild inconveniences to him. Very pleasant.
Alphonse heard the door opening and turned to see Benjamin standing at the entrance, though he was not exactly dressed for the occasion. He just greeted the man with a wave from afar as he approached.
"Hey." Alphonse said, still catching his breath. "How's it going, Benji?"
Benjamin was taken aback for a moment before he drew closer, raising a hand in greeting.
"Hello," The man said, looking side to side as he stood in front of Alphonse. "I can't say I expected to find you here… Although seeing such extensive recreational facilities wasn't something I expected either."
"Tell me about it." Alphonse said, letting out a heavy sigh. A grimace soon found purchase on his face; he could only dodge the subject for so long, so he decided to light the fuse already.
He lightly slapped the open spot on the bench beside him. "Take a seat," he said, "we ought to talk about something."
Benjamin seemed to share his apprehension in some way, as he took a while standing where he was before nodding and sitting beside him.
Alphonse thought of how to broach the subject before, and he wasn't sure how to do it still, so he went for his first plan and hoped for the best.
"So… Last time…" Alphonse began haltingly, bending forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "Last time, we talked about some stuff. I'm not him, not truly. That's something you knew going in and you still came to the facility trying to make things right."
"...I suppose I did." Benjamin said, nodding along and looking aside. "Knowing what I do, I knew there wasn't a way to properly save him, it was… Much too late for that."
Alphonse nodded, then let out a heavy breath. He felt like a hole was being bored right through his chest, but he persisted nonetheless.
"Yeah, I know. A tabula rasa was preferable to the person I'm supposed to be." Alphonse licked his lips, then took a sip of water after feeling they were a bit too dried. "Except… There's been… Something of a complication."
Benjamin stared at Alphonse and the manager felt a sudden weight come crashing upon him. He could still back out, but he decided against it. He wanted to be frank with one of his few friends at the facility.
"You see…" Alphonse grit his teeth and braced himself. "I'm doubly not him." He swallowed some spit and started scratching at his head. "I've no idea how, but I've ended up in his body when I have nothing to do with this place. I'm an outsider to all of this, my name is Alphonse, and I've… I've got my own life. At least I had one, before I ended up here."
Alphonse let out a breath and clenched his mouth shut. He felt like he didn't have any right to say anything else before Benjamin. It was… Like he expected the man to judge him. Somehow, to Alphonse, it felt like the man's opinion was worth the weight of the world.
He couldn't see him. Alphonse had his eyes closed and wasn't facing him. He just silently awaited Benjamin's next words, whatever they might be. The wait ground upon his nerves, and as it dragged on, he couldn't help but feel slightly desperate, wanting… Forgiveness? Acceptance? He wasn't sure himself.
Alphonse flinched as he heard Benjamin sigh, and ended up recoiling and backing off when he felt his hand on his shoulder. He snapped his eyes and looked at Benjamin's face.
He was taken aback when he saw the deep sadness in his eyes.
"I… Was beginning to suspect something of the sort." Benjamin said. "You're distinct from him in many ways."
Benjamin straightened his back then reached for Alphonse's hand, not touching it, but extending it just enough that it was in front of his own. Nervously, Alphonse realized the man was waiting on him.
After some hesitation, Alphonse reached for Benjamin's hand, and when he did, the man put his other hand on top of his. The gesture made Alphonse both ten times more nervous, and yet slightly more at ease.
"I'm terribly sorry, Alphonse." Benjamin apologized to him, of all things he could have done. "I don't think anyone could have possibly expected you to have gotten caught up in all of this. You've been saddled with a burden you shouldn't have been made to bear."
Benjamin's words shook Alphonse almost to his core. He expected some kind of recrimination, and yet… All he received was anything but that.
After a while longer, Benjamin let him go, and Alphonse felt the weight that was pressing down on him follow suit.
"Where did you come from? If I might be so bold as to ask." Benjamin said, placing his hands on his knees.
Alphonse sighed, straightening himself and letting out a breath.
"Would you believe me if I said another world entirely?" Alphonse lightly said, testing his luck. "One without the City?"
Benjamin hummed for a moment, before nodding and saying "I would."
Alphonse stopped and turned to look at him, slightly shocked. "Wait, you do? Just… Like that?"
Benjamin smiled, his head tilting slightly to one side as he stared at Alphonse.
"You and I both have spent our fair share of time working with Abnormalities." He said, some cheer in his voice. "We're a bit beyond doubting things such as alternate universes existing, don't you think?"
Alphonse couldn't help but start cackling and shaking his head.
"Fair point! This shit's wild. What's a little Slider business compared to whatever the hell Abnos are?" He smiled, already feeling a lot better than he did before. "But yeah, I'm not from this world. It's been… Difficult, trying to adjust, but I've managed."
"I can't even imagine how a world without the City would look like." Benjamin mused. "I assume by comparison that it must be like a paradise."
"By comparison, yes." Alphonse nodded. "It's not some perfect utopia but like… cannibalism is illegal everywhere, for one."
Except for like, in some states in America, as long as there was consent? He didn't remember that tidbit well and thought it best to keep it to himself to keep his point from tumbling over ass backwards.
"I… Imagine that was unpleasant to find about, then." Benjamin looked aside and grimaced. "Yes, people have been weaving all sorts of stories in vomit and waste. For far too long and regardless of whether one is in the Nest or the Backstreets, things have always been like this. No one can blame you for being appalled at what we are."
"It's a sad state of affairs." Alphonse sighed. "I'm just wondering… What will I do once this is all over?"
"This?" Benjamin asked.
Alphonse waved his hands around vaguely at everything around him. "This. The whole… Reason I'm here. The reason why the guy I'm supposed to be is stuck in here. It's all gonna come to an end, sooner or later."
"Are you…?" Benjamin stared at Alphonse, some awe clear in his face. "Are you trying to carry on our work?"
"I'm not doing too shabby." Alphonse said, scratching at his chin and debating whether to share more or not. He landed on the former. "They can't remember it right now, but I've managed to talk things out with both Netzach and Yesod, or well…Giovanni and Gabriel. I'm not a complete screw up, I think I've got a shot at this."
"Truly? You've managed that much already!?" Benjamin recoiled, looking aside and blinking before smiling "That's extraordinary! And you said you've only retained your memory in the last couple of cycles? I can scarcely believe it!"
"Whoa there, I'll have you know my ass lucked backwards into success." Alphonse remarked, shaking his hands in front of him. "I-"
"You could not possibly 'luck out' on something like this." Benjamin countered, the smile remaining on his face "I'm certain of it, if you've managed this much, you might be able to achieve our ultimate goal. If that happens, then…"
Benjamin halted for a moment, seeming unsure for a moment before shaking his head.
"I'm not quite certain as to the specifics of his plan at the end, but I've no doubt the world will be a much better, kinder place." Benjamin said. "I wouldn't worry too much about what will happen at the end, you will have everything you will need to lead a pleasant life, one way or another."
"I hope so." Alphonse sighed. "I… I've lost a lot, ending up in this situation. Family, friends, everything I've ever known." He took another breath and straightened himself before looking right at Benjamin. "But still, I think I can hold on to the hope that things can get better, even though it's looking grim."
Benjamin's smile turned slightly sadder as he looked away and nodded.
"Yes. And I hope in the end, things will be better for you, Alphonse." He said, nodding and looking at him again.
In the end, that was all he could hope for, no matter how tough the going got.
Angela paced impassively across the hallway to the manager's room. She didn't make a habit of loitering so close to that place, but she found herself stuck there after hearing what she had.
It began to annoy her more and more as Alphonse took hours upon hours to return, at least to her perception, enough that she was glowering by the time he finally opened the door and came face to face with her.
She stared at him and didn't even wait for him to finish flinching before she asked. "When were you going to tell me that you came here from another world altogether?"
Alphonse took a while, staring at her for what felt like entirely too long before he even seemed to consider what to say.
After what felt like even more hours, he finally answered.
"Ok, listen, I'm not trying to be a petty asshole or anything when I'm saying this, but you literally never asked." He said and then raised his hand to interrupt her retort. "No, seriously. I get why you'd be pissed, but I didn't mean to keep it as some kind of secret or anything, it's just… We never really talked about me, so it never came up."
Angela held back the urge to growl at the man for his answer, even though he apparently made an attempt to not sound flippant.
"So if I were to ask about your life, you would tell me anything, is that it?" She shot back.
"I mean, why the hell not?" Alphonse shrugged. "I mean, somethings I'd keep to myself but those are the ones that are like… Common sense I'd back out of answering."
"Is that so?" Angela asked defiantly. "Where did you come from?"
"Hm… Depends on what you're asking here." Alphonse scratched at his chin idly. "If you're asking for my nationality, I'm from Mexico, a bunch of states united together as a country."
Angela raised a brow. "What about your family history?"
"You've already probably largely heard me say it with Hod. I lived with my brother and my mom. My parents divorced a long while back." Alphonse answered plainly. "Wasn't exactly as much of a life-defining event as other people have had theirs be."
"What's your relationship history?" Angela asked.
"I, uh… Pass on that one." Alphonse said, shaking a hand in a so-so motion. "Bit of a sore topic."
Angela glared at him.
"How easy is it to receive education?" She asked next.
"Very, there are lots of public schools, even though I lament the state of education itself." Alphonse nodded along. "Just to make it clear, in Mexico, the compulsory level of education is up to high school, but we have the UNAM as a public university. Joining it does require you to have a decent average score in high school, about a 7 out of 10, as well as complete a written test. Other than that though? Tuition is free and you only have to pay for some specific services but they're dirt cheap. Like, I can't stress how cheap it is. I can't give you numbers, but I know that some people in America would go nuts at the idea."
He paused for a moment, "America being another country, and their college education being a whole other can of worms."
Angela thought about asking about his level of schooling, but remembered easily enough that he'd already answered that during his conversation with Hod.
"You were in college, then. What exactly were you studying?" She asked.
"Animation, though I'm really unhappy with my college." Alphonse sighed and crossed his arms, looking aside. "I'm not going to bore you with specifics unless you ask me to go off, but boy do I have a whole host of unflattering things to say."
"How influential are the interests of private entities such as corporations?" She asked, gritting her teeth.
"Oh man, that one's loaded." Alphonse replied with a grimace. "Very, but at the very least we're not so far gone that they are literally the government like they are here."
"Are there any wars or major conflicts in progress?" Angela asked curtly.
"Yes, but I wasn't close to any of them." Alphonse shrugged his shoulders.
Angela couldn't help herself anymore, she pinched the bridge of her nose and held back a groan.
"Why are you like this?"
"Because I don't have any major hang-ups about my past and, like…" Alphonse gestured vaguely at her. "Again, the only reason we've never talked about this is because we never broached the subject. It's all been work and the like."
"And that's all?" Angela shot back in annoyance, glaring at him.
"I mean, what do you want me to say, Angela?" Alphonse shrugged his shoulders. "I've decided to let bygones be bygones. I don't have any beef with you, we just… Never talk. We can change that if you wanna."
Angela let out a harsh breath and gestured at the door at the other end of the hallway.
"Just go to sleep."
"'Aight!" Alphonse said with an infuriatingly light smile. "See you tomorrow. Don't be a stranger, you hear?"
Angela held back a growl as she walked past him.
It was incredibly annoying just how forthcoming he had been, just how easy it was to get anything out of him. Could she unravel him in his wholeness if she just sat down and asked him?
The prospect only seemed to irk her all the more as she considered it.
Chapter 44: And no one will miss us ~ 3.9 ~
Chapter Text
It took remarkably little work to get things off the ground with the workshops and courses. People signed up for them the day he announced their opening. Everyone was eager, if not straight up desperate for something to spend their time on other than work.
And even though the day didn't pass without incident, people still pushed on and made their way into the facilities.
"C'mon boss, get that bloooooood pumpin'!" Basil called out to Alphonse from the adjacent treadmill dressed in Lobotomy Corporation-branded sportswear. "We're no Fixers, but we've gotta deal with worse than they do! So we better not be caught lacking in our training, huh!?"
Alphonse thought about making a remark about how cheery she was or something of the like, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was an indistinct hurgle as he kept running on his own treadmill.
The E.G.O he used really was doing the heavy lifting every time he confronted the Sephirot and it showed.
"Stop already, you're just going to throw up all over the treadmill." Emma spoke dismissively as she approached. "Honestly, you Nest-born babies…"
"Oi, we're not all as bad as the boss, he just sucks." Basil shot back, acting offended.
"Love…The support..." Alphonse haggardly said as he slowed down his pace at the treadmill until he came to a stop. "Ladies."
"You can appreciate it when you're not heaving like a dying dog." Emma scoffed.
"How do you know what a dying dog's heaving sounds like?" Basil turned to ask Emma. For her part, the ponytailed woman just pinched her nose.
Emma seemed not to like it too much, but she was working as a spotter for people all around the gym now that her classes were over. She'd gathered everyone in the gym and set up a warmup routine for everyone to follow before going over some of the basics of using gym equipment, just how much to push oneself, how much weight to work with and the like.
Basil also was going to work at the pool, but her turn was a couple hours later and she wanted to do some other exercise before.
"I've had to eat one, Nest baby." Emma replied brusquely, though she only scowled when she saw the comment didn't put off Basil.
"Huh. Lucky you. You just had to eat the one." Alphonse joked, only furthering Emma's anger. Before it could get too out of hand, he just moved on. "By the way, weird question, but what's a Fixer, really?"
He never really asked his old friends about the topic, even though it came up.
"You gotta be shitting me, this goes beyond being sheltered." Emma responded derisively.
"Uh…yeah, don't look at me, even I know what a Fixer is." Basil stared at Alphonse, but he just sighed.
"Let's call it amnesia, even though it's a lot more complicated than that." Alphonse replied, shaking a hand around in the air in circles. "Bunch of knowledge is just gone from my brain. Seems to be something the company did to me."
"Huh, wonder why they'd do that. Sucks to be you." Emma replied, taking the lie at face value with ease.
"Really? Well now I just feel bad." Basil grimaced and stopped her own exercise. "A Fixer is… Well it's kind of difficult to explain, they're like handymen, except they're really specialized, except for the Colors."
"You're shit at explaining this." Emma retorted before staring at Alphonse. "Fixers are mercs, they do all sorts of work for money, from contract negotiations to hired hits. The field is pretty wide, but most end up fighting in one way or another."
"Huh. I'm guessing they largely get hired to deal with Syndicates, then? I heard a little bit about those." Alphonse posed the question as he scratched at his chin.
"Not really, there's a lot of weird stuff in the Backstreets they also have to deal with." Emma replied with a shrug. "You know the threat ratings of the Hana Association?" She paused and sighed after looking at his expression. "Figures you don't even know what the Hana is."
"Oh, I got this one, the Hana are the top dogs of the Fixer world." Basil replied. "They're the ones who give people their certifications and Grades, and they say how dangerous everything Fixers are hired to deal with is."
"Good enough explanation." Emma grunt out. "Yeah, the Hana rates threats as Canard, Urban Myth, Urban Legend, Urban Plague, Urban Nightmare and Star of the City. Syndicates could be rated, but there's a lot of things going on in the City that aren't necessarily their fault. Weird monsters and shit."
Emma seemed contemplative for a moment before she began talking again "There's been all sorts of things on all ratings that have been around and messed up things for people. Say what you will about Fixers, but without them we wouldn't have been saved from Stars of the City like the Black-Blood Plague, the Hundred-Eyed King, the Fist of Tears…"
"Oh, and the Meowmeow Doggy Dog!" Basil said, immediately taking the wind out of Emma's sails and drawing a raised brow from Alphonse
Before he could ask, Emma went over to Basil and slapped her across the top of her head and growled at her.
"Shut up, you dumb bitch!" Emma all but hissed in anger. "We don't talk about the damn thing! Ever!"
"What the fuck is the Meow—?" Alphonse made to ask, but Emma snapped around and lifted her hand, ready to strike him as well. "Okay, seriously, is that like a cognitohazard or some shit or what's got you so strung up about it."
"We just don't." Emma said, her words sounding less like a statement and more like a threat that she would beat him up if he kept going.
"Fffffuckin' fine." Alphonse ground out and looked aside.
The first three threats sounded ominous enough, but the fourth was so bad that no one wanted to remember it despite having the most stupid ass name imaginable? What the fuck was with the City?
Emma soon left the two of them as she got called over by another employee and thus Alphonse just moved to sit at a bench, though Basil followed him.
"What's your take on things?" Alphonse asked as he took a moment to breathe and twisted off the cap of a bottle of water..
"Hm? What do you mean, boss?" Basil asked, seeming curious about his question as she stood in front of him.
"About these recreational facilities. Do you figure they're actually any help to people here?" He asked again.
"Hm… That's a bit difficult to say. In which way do you mean?" Basil asked back at him.
Alphonse lowered his head and sighed.
"People have a pretty difficult time here at the corporation. I can do my job well and all, but people are still going to die." The man answered, being as frank as he could. "I don't think a pool and some recreational facilities are just going to solve the underlying issue of how people feel about working here."
"Ah, so that's more what you meant, then." Basil said and she remained silent afterwards.
He supposed he was asking a bit of a strong question in the first place. Maybe it was better for it to remain unanswered in the first place.
Basil stepped around and sat down at the chair, brushing shoulders with him briefly.
"Well… I don't think anything at all will just magically solve that." Basil spoke and nodded as she stared towards a bunch of employees working out, "Short of people no longer dying here, I think we're going to be stuck with our anxieties forever, knowing death's just hanging around the corner, but…"
She straightened her back and looked towards the ceiling.
"But I don't think that's any different from life for anyone else in the City." She eventually said, scratching at the back of her head. "Emma loves to call me a Nest baby, but it's never been that simple with me.
My family has money but my dad's a Fixer. He always feels like he's on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't know if it's because of his job or if he actually has some connections with the Fingers that he's never told us about, but he's been like that forever."
Basil looked back at him.
"My mom is the opposite. She's at peace, and when I asked her how she could feel like that when dad was always so strung up, she told me something that's stuck to my head. We live in a world full of anxiety, and that's never going to change. So with that in mind, you gotta find a way to live in spite of your anxieties.
I think the same goes for everyone here; you won't ever stop them from worrying, but… These recreational facilities can help ease the burden on everyone regardless and help them live in spite of that."
Alphonse hummed, looking aside as he considered Basil's words. Ultimately there was a lot of truth in them. People endured a lot more than even they themselves were aware they could take.
"And here Emma thinks you're just a vapid bitch." He remarked with a grin.
"Emma thinks a lot of things, boss. Not all of them are right." Basil responded with a smile of her own.
Angela kept watch over the facility, as ever she did. Her vigil was never ending and tedious, even though some variance had been introduced to it.
She carefully considered the situation and found it rather unjust. Of course, expecting fairness out of it was a moot point, but it still rankled at her. Whenever she'd made things better for the employees, increased their survivability or anything of the sort, the scenario was considered to be a failure, scrapped and she was left at the beginning of Ayin's damnable script once again.
And now he chooses to be nice and give them recreational facilities. It was the most blatant showing of double standards and it stung at her more than she would have liked to admit. It felt like they were deviating from the script and yet nothing happened.
As she nursed those grudges and resentment, she spied through the cameras of the facility something that finally struck out to her. Hod, standing ramrod straight and trembling slightly. Curious as to what had led to that, she accessed the video feed and rewound it to find her…hiding?
She looked out of another camera and saw a group of employees talking. She was eavesdropping on them, then? What would cause such a reaction with her, then?
Angela began listening in on the conversation as well.
"Hey, have you checked out the pool? It's pretty damn nice." One of the employees said.
"I haven't, but since the whole consultation program Hod had set up got suddenly scrapped, I have the time now." The second employee replied.
"Dude, it's great." The third employee there added their two Ahn, "All the recreational facilities are great. In between the gym, the art room, the pool and the basketball court, there's a hell of a lot more things for us to do in this dump.
"Yeah, and since little miss Hod doesn't have a spine, I don't think any of us are ever gonna get banned unless we do something that catches the manager's eye."
"Hey, that's not very nice to say."
"Oh, who the fuck cares? Hod's just as bad as the rest of the Sephirot, even if she thinks she isn't. Those consultations just ate our time and did nothing. Meanwhile all the employees in the other departments get break time while we just had to sit and listen to her try to play at being a therapist."
"I mean, it's not like I disagree with you entirely, but it just seems a little harsh, is all."
"Harsh? Maybe. Wrong? Not at all and you know it?
"Listen, she's trying her best. Issue is her best isn't worth a damn and it's actually just annoying how much of a busybody she is. Now the manager? That's a great boss, compared to the psychos out there."
"Honestly, he kinda feels like a radio host at times, the way he just sits down and explains how some Abnormalities work before sending anyone to work with them. Kinda just puts you at ease, you know?"
"He's a lot more casual than anyone in charge here, short of Netzach. And Netzach's just a druggie fuckup who never does anything, so…"
"I mean, true enough. Still, you guys wanna go play some basketball? It sure is much better than word chain."
"You're on. I've been wanting to do something like this ever since I joined the company. It's been too damn long without me doing something physical."
"Yeah, same. I wonder how the manager convinced the Architecture Department to make all these facilities, but we really owe him one."
As the group left Hod came out of her hiding place, leaving her in the state that she was currently in.
Though she was not happy to say as much, Angela would eat her words regarding the script. Things were still happening just as described, just with some liberties taken.
She wondered if Alphonse would get blindsided by what would come next, when it did, or if he'd be able to meet it the same way he did for Netzach and Yesod.
Chapter 45: And no one will miss us ~ 3.10 ~
Chapter Text
Much to Alphonse's surprise the next time things went wrong, they didn't do so spectacularly. Deaths did happen but…
"Clear Safety Department's upper corridor through Information's corridor." He ordered calmly, even sounding somewhat bored despite himself.
He watched as the clerks and agents followed his instructions and a magic circle appeared from the opposite edge of the corridor. Sluggishly, a horrid figure emerged from it, a massive body which almost completely encompassed the whole corridor's width and left no room to walk around it. An enormous maw with rows of crude, sharp teeth hung open and threatened to devour everything it could find. Several elongated, sticklike arms dragged it across the floor while a white-haired head stuck out of the mouth of the creature, laughing maniacally as it dangled from a long, strand-like neck.
The body also happened to resemble a yellow and gold painting which he had seen in the past, but whose name escaped him entirely.
Basil came out of the door behind the Abnormality when it was halfway across the hallway, chasing after her and only managing to poke it three times with the pitchfork she was holding before a new magic circle opened in front of it.
"Everyone in the Scarecrow's corridor, go to Information's main room." He ordered. "Emma, line up to fire at the Abnormality in said hallway."
As the employees followed the instructions he turned his attention to two other agents and ordered them to step into the containment unit of two different Abnormalities by the time one of them finished their work, Alphonse ordered them to stand by for a while longer while the maw crossed past the containment unit.
The back continued for a good while before the Abnormality finally stopped moving and their limbs fell limply to the floor.
Alphonse groaned and allowed himself to fall on his desk head-first.
"How much time did we spend on this shit, what the hell?"
"Thirty seven minutes." Angela answered.
"Holy ffffuck, it wasn't just me thinking it dragged on for a while." He complained loudly. "Seriously why are regulations the way they are with E.G.O. Gear? Why do we only get so little of them? We could have done this so much faster if we had safes so agents could hotswap weapons to get more people guns."
"There are several safety concerns in regards to that." Angela provided an explanation and cut off Alphonse when he was about to speak, "Mainly the possibility of agents or even clerks breaking into these hypothetical safes and taking up E.G.O. Gear without proper clearance, for purposes of either rebellion or misguided self-defense, both of which could lead to a greater loss of personnel."
"...Dammit, that's not unreasonable." Alphonse grouched, head still in contact with his desk. "I still think we need more guns, though."
The man straightened himself out and sighed.
"The King of Greed, huh? She's not a WAW for nothing, even though she's… easier to deal with than some Abnormalities." Alphonse remarked tiredly. "Her breaking out that quickly is a problem though. At least I know we have to stick with Attachment works."
"On the upside, as a WAW Abnormality, the Enkephalin produced from working with it is second only to that produced by ALEPH Abnormalities." Angela stated plainly. "Therefore you will be able to meet our daily quota faster and bring the workday to a close sooner."
Alphonse raised a finger to point out the issue of how much time was lost when she did escape, but stopped dead in his tracks. Was Angela… Trying to comfort him in some way? It felt strange, somewhat and he wasn't sure if that was actually the intent, but he decided not to undermine it and just murmured in agreement.
Angela, for her part, just looked at the manager as he continued his work. She felt like she was getting a better measure of him and how to interact. Part of her felt like she was just playing the same tired old routine as she did with X, trying to sound civil, helpful and patient. At the same time, however, she could easily see that there was a difference between Alphonse and X in that the former actually listened to her, and dare she say, appreciated her words, fake as they could sometimes seem to her.
Speaking her mind fully wasn't out of the question either. Not that she wasn't capable of that with X, but she felt like she was talking to a wall then. Alphonse certainly had his frustrating side, and it certainly irked her, but it was better than what X would have to say to her, which was either absolutely nothing or words full of enmity.
She considered their recent conversation on how open he was to simply talk about himself and thought about starting another, but thought better of it as she saw the King of Greed breach once more.
"Fuck's sak—" He growled as he cut himself off. "Vacate One Sin's corridor, stat. She's breached again."
Numerous employees all groaned in annoyance, rather than feel much worry.
Alphonse pinched the bridge of his nose and then rubbed his eyes. As the King of Greed dragged herself out of another of her magic circles, he spoke up.
"Angela, you'd know more about this than me, how possible is it for us to move Abnormalities from one containment unit to another?"
Angela remained silent as she stared at Alphonse. That was… Not something they'd done before. Was that allowed? She thought about it for a while which barely lasted a couple seconds to him, then waited a while longer for him to give instructions as the King of Greed moved to another corridor.
"It might be feasible." She said curtly. "What do you have in mind?"
"I don't know the protocol, but if we have to draft a proposal for it, I'll have to leave it to you while I handle the King of Greed again." Alphonse said as he observed Emma shooting at the Abnormality from a distance, stepping back every so often. "I'm handing the King of Greed to Control."
Inter-department transfer of Abnormalities? That was doable, but would surely ruffle Malkuth and Hod's feathers… Which made it all the more important to do, all things considered. The manager was a genius at causing problems for himself, she supposed.
But in a way, that was the entire point of the facility, wasn't it?
She put pen to paper as the manager handled the situation on his end.
A meeting was set up between Hod, Malkuth and Alphonse right after work, with the two Sephirot making their way to his office. At once, he hummed as he considered the two women filing into his room; it was kind of funny to think that they were both box-like constructs like Yesod and Netzach yet he was made to look at them as normal, if white-skinned humans.
It mattered little in the end, as he greeted them both with a nod and then spoke up.
"So I'm sure you're both curious as to why I've called you two here." Alphonse began, and while Malkuth kept an impassive smile, Hod shuffled from side to side. "Now, it's nothing bad, but it's something that I've given serious thought and decided we had to talk about to make things run smoother."
Angela approached the two Sephirot and handed them each a copy of the proposal she'd initially drafted, then he modified, then she corrected to make more official sounding.
"Haha." Malkuth said more than laughed as she read over the proposal, skimming it quickly. "Is this some kind of joke, manager? It's not very funny, you know?"
"No, I'm dead serious." Alphonse remarked, raising a brow as he looked over at Malkuth, his brow raised. "Read over the whole thing. If you're not convinced, then feel free to ask me more."
"W-wait, manager, what's this?" Hod said, sounding rather nervous as she flipped through the pages of the proposal. "W-why are you transferring our Abnormalities between our departments? W-what's the meaning of this?"
"The least you two could do is read the proposal that was quite literally handed to you not even thirty seconds ago." Angela remarked as she looked at the Sephirot with disdain. Alphonse raised a hand and motioned at her to stop.
She felt some mild annoyance, but allowed it to pass as Alphonse took the next word.
"To paraphrase and to make a long story short, it's for everyone's convenience." Alphonse answered. "The Training team is supposed to be a liminal space, a safe place where employees receive training in order to better fit in with other departments once they transfer over. I believe this should apply both to clerks and agents."
He tented his fingers and rested his chin above them.
"Now, let's be real. Do you think a WAW Abnormality belongs there?" Alphonse asked, shaking his head. "It just doesn't work out, and we're risking the agents' necks for no good reason. I will remind you that Knox died trying to take care of the King of Greed. The Control Team's agents are better trained and better suited to take on the challenges of dealing with the Abnormalities in your department."
Straightening his back and letting his fingers clack against the desk, he continued.
"Meanwhile, Control has by far the easiest Abnormalities to deal with. One Sin is just there, Today's Shy Look is a matter of timing more than the type of work being performed and the Old Lady will teach them to deal with work getting on their nerves." He shrugged his shoulders. "That is much more suitable for the Training Team's agents to deal with."
"Manager, if what's needed is for each department to deal with the Abnormalities of other departments," Malkuth said, impatiently tapping at her clipboard. "Then that could be solved by setting up a cross-divisional workflow, which is something I could have arranged for you easily."
"And that would be great, but I'd still insist on these changes." Alphonse replied firmly. "It is still for the best that we assign the easier Abnormalities to the Training team. That way all the greenhorns won't have to worry about all the things that could go wrong with them."
Malkuth kept staring at him with a plastic smile on her face, seemingly awaiting something, but Alphonse didn't know what, nor could he figure it out. In the middle of that silence, Hod chose to speak up.
"M-manager, you don't need to go this far to change things!" She protested. "It's— We—"
"Hod, I will remind you that the agents in your department are in danger every time they work with the Abnormalities you've been assigned." Alphonse added, looking over a third copy of the proposal and flipping pages. "In total, if not for the E.G.O. gear protecting them employees would have died…" He stopped at a specific page. "Sixteen times with the All-Around Helper, six with the Happy Teddy Bear and pretty much every instance anyone worked with the King of Greed. The fatality rate isn't looking great either. Five different agents and seven clerks have died under the current circumstances, and I expect it to increase if nothing is done."
"Those deaths aren't my fault! It's because you've been too careless—!"
Alphonse lifted his gaze to stare at Hod, who immediately clammed up the second she was under his eyes.
As the silence settled, he said. "It seems like you had more to say. Go on, I'm listening."
Hod didn't say anything and instead kept her silence. It wasn't Alphonse's wish to cow her into silence, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it when he was definitely feeling heated and instead spoke up again.
"I will remind you, the deaths against the All-Around Helper were caused due to clerk and agent insubordination, while the ones from the Teddy Bear and King of Greed were due to not yet knowing how each of them ticked."
He took a deep breath and glared at Hod. "I will not be called careless when I've had to deal with the King of Greed escaping your department thrice and in the two subsequent breaches I managed to somehow keep work going and prevented any further casualties. Call me careless when I send the same employee to work on the Bear twice in a row and I don't curb that by telling everyone to let me know if I forget. Call me careless when I unintentionally send someone to perform a work I know will not be received well. Call me careless when I let a Qliphoth Meltdown happen and we lose Enkephalin and have a breach while I sat and did nothing but twiddle my thumbs. Got it?"
Alphonse took a deep breath to steady himself. He largely managed, but still felt somewhat angry at Hod for her witless remark.
"Are there any further objections to this proposal?" Alphonse asked.
"Oh, I have plenty." Malkuth said, still smiling widely before she closed her eyes. "But you're still going to go through with it, aren't you?"
Alphonse allowed himself a pause as he took in Malkuth's clear animosity.
"The intent here isn't to foster any sort of resentment, but I don't see any clear points against the proposal that would make it a bad idea." Alphonse spoke bluntly. "I can see I'm stepping on your toes, but you're not giving me any arguments beyond it not being my place to make this sort of decision."
"Of course you're stepping on my toes. And quite frankly, I can't stand how hypocritical you're being about it." Malkuth said, continuing to stare at Alphonse. "You're dressing this up in all sorts of ways, but in the end, this is a unilateral decision you're making. You're not looking at us, you don't care what we feel about it and you don't even feel the need to hear our thoughts, as you've already come to your own conclusion."
Alphonse's expression faltered, but Malkuth just kept smiling and began walking out. "So go on, manager! You're still going to do it anyway, so why did you even bother asking us what we thought?"
She left through the door, leaving him alone with Hod. However, the second Sephirah didn't have anything else to say, so instead she left the room looking like a kicked puppy as she stared at him one final time.
Alphonse let out a deep sigh once the door shut. Feeling bone-tired, he slid down on his chair and looked to the side.
"It seems to me that Malkuth's words managed to cut you quite deeply." Angela noted.
"Hard not to feel like shit. She's got me dead to rights, there." Alphonse remarked, trying to lift himself from his seat and letting out a breath. "I'm not being entirely fair to either of them with this."
"Hardly anything is here." Angela remarked, looking over at him and shaking her head. "Regardless, you don't need the Sephirot to like you, all you need…"
"Is to come to some sort of understanding with each other, right?" Alphonse finished off for Angela as she trailed off. "I get that, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I know I'm not exactly going to be everyone's best friend at the end of all this, but I'd rather not foster anything venomous with anyone anymore."
Sadly, it didn't seem so easy.
Chapter 46: And no one will miss us ~ 3.11 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse wasn't a great swimmer, but he still enjoyed the pool. He rather liked the resistance of his every move as he waded through the water. Rather than swim, he was more just doing exercises while neck deep in the pool's depths.
The change of Abnormalities was well received by the Training Department. Less so by Control, but the complaints were not very vocal and they died very quickly as the Agents began handling the Abnormalities without a single issue. The King of Greed hadn't even broken out again ever since.
Even still, he found himself feeling somewhat dissatisfied with how much he ended up antagonizing the Sephirot. Malkuth had remained moody and keeping up a fake cheer all while Hod just clammed up and retreated at the first sign of him directing any attention towards her.
And that aside, another thing occupied his thoughts too, something too difficult to ignore.
Alphonse heard the door opening and the clacking of heels, Turning around, he spotted Angela approaching the pool.
"Oh hey, is it getting late?" Alphonse remarked as he waded through the water to approach the ladder leading out of the pool.
"Yes. It'd be for the best if you left and went to sleep already, manager." She responded plainly. Alphonse nodded at that and pushed his way up and out of the water, his body feeling heavy.
The man immediately went for the shower head installed in a cubicle off to the side of the pool and drew the curtains, taking a moment to soak himself in the water to clean himself off. A moment later he left and grabbed his towel.
Angela still waited for him and he approached her. He felt somewhat self-conscious with the way he was in swimming trunks in front of her, but he tried to push off the sense of embarrassment he felt.
After drawing close he sat down on a bench close to her and started drying himself. Without really meaning to, he said. "So, tomorrow…"
Angela turned to look at him and he couldn't help but look away as he dried his hair. He cursed himself for starting the sentence and didn't have much of a choice but to finish it.
"Tomorrow Benjamin has to die, right?"
Angela averted her eyes, letting out a slight breath as she looked back towards the exit.
"It's not your fault that it has to be like that, I don't blame you, but it's just…" Alphonse continued, looking over at her. "It's just really rough. How many times have you had to do it?"
"Too many times. It would be for the best that I do not answer your question." Angela said, her tone clipped.
Alphonse kept his silence. She was right, but the answer itself told him more about it than he was comfortable with.
With the understanding that Benjamin was involved in Angela's creation, some things became clearer. Her words took on additional meaning with the context and painted a picture, one tragic and unfortunate that sparked a fire within him at the injustice of it all.
"Angela… What do you consider Benjamin to be to you?" He asked, his expression faltering as the words left his mouth.
For her part Angela kept her silence. She knew very well that answering would mean nothing in the end. Would it change what she was meant to do? Would it somehow provide relief to her if she were to say it out loud?
What meaning was there in answering? And even if there was meaning, what would it do for her to respond?
Even still, she decided to speak.
"He was a dear friend to me." She replied quietly. "I was born a perfect being. Immaculate in craftsmanship and without a single defect in my construction. My only flaw was to exist as a machine, a construct that violated the AI Ethics Amendment."
She turned back to look at Alphonse, yet she was not glancing at him. She stared at the man whose skin he wore.
"I am only a machine. I wondered if it was truly so wrong for me to be one." Angela continued. "Many people would take issue with it, yet Benjamin did not. To him, whether I was a machine or a human did not have any bearing in who I was. That was a kindness I always treasured."
"And… What about now?" Alphonse asked. "Now that you have been forced to do this…what has that done to you?"
A certain expression had been etched into his face. A despondent look of defeat and sadness.
"At first, it was heartbreaking. Why did I have to kill him, the only one who had told me it didn't matter that I was a machine?" Angela admitted. "But in the end, it didn't matter what I thought or felt about the matter. It was to be done, again and again. And so I did it, again and again. His life slipped through my fingers like grains of sand many times over already. If you had to ask me what this has done to me…I would say it has left me feeling nothing about it now. I will kill him again, come the next cycle, and the one after that, just as I've done so many times before."
X had made many expressions of vulnerability when all was lost and when he surrendered himself to the crushing weight of the forces acting upon him. Yet the eyes with which Alphonse stared at her reflected a different kind of feeling. A sorrow which seemed to burden him heavily.
"One day, you won't have to kill him again." Alphonse said, looking towards the tiles on the floor. "I can't promise you it'll be the next time, or even the one after that… But I will find a way to stop this cycle one day. And then… We can talk again about this then."
Angela stared at Alphonse. She knew better than to hope for the impossible. There was still so much more he had to experience, so much more hardship ahead of him that could destroy all hope he harbored in so many ways. He still didn't know how much worse things could be.
But she did not comment on it. She would not be the one to bring him down to realize the futility of such promises.
After a long silence, Alphonse took a breath, shaking his head and asking. "Where is he right now? I'd like to have… At least one more talk with him, before it all ends."
"I will guide you there." Angela said, shaking her head and turning around. "I'll wait for you to change your clothes."
"Thank you."
Those words, although Angela would not admit it to Alphonse, were ones she treasured.
Alphonse walked through the halls of the facility along with Angela. In the off hours, no employees wandered the halls and the lights were dim. They crossed the threshold of the Training Department and stepped into its main room. They were only passing through, but Alphonse stopped upon seeing something out of place in the faintly lit room.
Hod, sitting on the floor. Her back was facing him, but he could see her knees folded up and her arms wrapped around them.
Alphonse was befuddled by the sight, and slowly he made his way towards her. Angela made to reach out to his shoulder, but stopped herself. She could not interfere with his decisions.
He came closer to Hod and faintly heard her speaking, though he couldn't make out the words with how quiet she was being.
"Hod?" He asked tentatively as he approached her. "What are you doing?"
Hod slowly turned her face to look at him. It was difficult to tell, but it seemed as though she had been crying.
"Manager…?" She said quietly, so quiet in fact that he could not even hear the next words she spoke.
He drew even closer and squatted over next to Hod
"What was that?" Alphonse asked.
"How do you do it?" Hod asked. "How did you get everyone to like you? How did you manage to have everyone look up to you and admire you?"
Alphonse raised a brow confused at the question.
"There's nothing special to it." He stated matter-of-factly. "I just try my best to improve things around the facility and everyone's experience working here."
"Just your best? That's it?" She spoke up again, this time her voice coming out stronger than before. "That's not right. Doing your best isn't enough. There's more to it than that."
"What do you want me to say?" Alphonse asked. "Partly it's been luck too, I can admit that much. I've been lucky enough to have my actions get well received."
"Don't lie to me!" Hod yelled out, making him flinch away. "I've tried my best, I've done everything I could! It can't just be luck!"
Alphonse felt a sinking feeling settling in his stomach as Hod went on, her nails beginning to dig into her clothes
"I've been doing everything for my employees, but everything I hear is you, you, you!" Hod raged on and Alphonse got on his feet and took a couple steps back. "Every time I hear praise it's towards you! No one even stops to consider all I've done for them and they just say that it doesn't matter! Why can't they see how hard I've been trying to change!?"
Alphonse felt as a heavy pressure clamped down on his head, familiar and unwelcome. He also felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back as alarms began blaring loudly. A puddle of black sludge began to expand from where Hod sat, spreading across the floor at an alarming rate.
"I can't stand this!" Hod turned her head, her neck snapping around completely and head tilting to one side as the dark liquid fell from her bloodshot eyes like tears. "I'm all alone here! I'm the only one who's even aware of my efforts! Why is it so difficult for everyone else to get that they'd all be dead without me!"
Alphonse was pulled back faster as he lost consciousness.
I was wary of whoever joined our research team. It wasn't as though I was paranoid or distrustful, but I found it important to be careful with who we associated with. Our research, in a way, was something the Head could be opposed to. It wasn't as though we were directly violating their Taboos, but we were still intending to change something fundamental in humanity and thus skirted the line of their spirit even if we didn't break any in word..
The girl in front of me back then was essentially a child compared to the rest of us. I stared at her critically and bluntly probed her with questions. She needed to understand that what we were doing could not be known by anyone, not her friends back in the City, not her parents, not a single person, not until after it was done.
I was browbeating her, and I felt only the slightest bit of guilt over it, but I still continued regardless. She wasn't able to say anything to my questioning, merely looking at the floor with a guilty and indecisive expression.
A hand fell over her head and a light laugh rang across both our ears.
"Don't be too harsh on her. She's amazing to be here at such a young age!"
I looked aside in that moment and I think I grumbled. She was right about that much. The girl left college even before the two of us. Finishing early wasn't exactly a guarantee that she was some incredible genius, but even still, she followed our words easily.
Although in all frankness, the reason I allowed her to join was out of bias. She trusted her, so I allowed the girl to join. It was clear the girl liked her as well, and that was not trickery or a show. She wasn't the manipulative sort of person who'd keep up such a facade, either.
As we continued working together, her determination and insights were valuable to our team, offering unexpectedly brilliant ideas that helped us advance our research.
The perspective she had was invaluable… Which was why her betrayal stung at me in a way I wasn't aware it could. It dredged such venom from within me that it seemed that nothing could quell it.
I knew it was her because she wasn't there with the team when the Head attacked us. And yet, she died all the same. I saw it in the newspaper, a dirty, annoying tabloid that noted her suicide without knowing what lead to it and only speculating. A secret boyfriend breaking up with her. Burnout over seeing how the real world was after leaving college at such a young age. Worthless little guesses that were far from the truth.
I wasn't entirely sure I knew why she took her own life. Guilt, yes, but over what? The deaths of her friends? The betrayal of her dream? Her actions in the research team?
I crumpled up the newspaper and tossed it in the trash.
Did she expect things to go the way they did when she reported our experiments to the Head? I wasn't sure. Maybe she thought we'd be stopped, but not that it'd lead to our demise. An innocent mistake made in fear, perhaps.
If I met her again in hell, could I bring myself to forgive her?
I wasn't sure. But I knew one thing; even this betrayal would not stop me. I still had to continue onward with the experiments and bring about a change to this world that we all resigned ourselves to.
After all, I…
I had…
I had made…
Alphonse took a deep breath as he woke up with a start. He looked around to see himself leaning against the wall of an elevator with Angela at his side.
"Shit." He muttered as he massaged his forehead and got on even footing. "Wasn't the Qliphoth Deterrence maxed out? I didn't expect this to happen right now, of all times."
"The Qliphoth Deterrence lowered as you were speaking with Hod." Angela answered. "There's little to be done about it now."
"Damn it. It was that asshole's fault, wasn't it?" Alphonse grumbled as he pinched his nose. "What's our current situation?"
"The employees are currently standing by and awaiting instructions after hearing the alarm," Angela replied. "Hod herself is currently stationary. Much like Yesod and Netzach, she has resonated with the Abnormalities in her department."
"So One Sin, the grandma and the shy guy." Alphonse muttered, crossing his arms. "I'm not sure what to expect."
"No, as a matter of fact, One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds did not resonate with Hod." Angela clarified, drawing a raised brow from Alphonse. "I can safely say that will not be a problem you will have to deal with."
"Do you think she'll be easier to deal with since she's resonated with less Abnormalities?" Alphonse asked.
"Not necessarily." Angela answered with a shake of her head. "Regardless. Although the alarm has rung, we can afford to simply lock Hod away until tomorrow so that you may be able to deal with the situation then and not so late in the day."
"No, I'm going to need your help." Alphonse shook his own head. "And if I did it tomorrow I'd… I'd be a little distracted."
Considering what he wanted to do before Hod went through that meltdown, it was better to deal with the situation then and there.
"Just give me a few minutes to come up with a plan of attack and I'll carry it through."
He hadn't expected things to go pear shaped at that moment, but he was still more than ready to take them on.
Chapter 47: The Hope to be a Better Person ~ 3.12 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse wasn't comfortable in Today's Shy Look's E.G.O gear, but he was strapped for options. Angela flatly refused his request for HE level gear for safety concerns and instead assigned him what he could get. Which in his case, was the rather disturbing gun and suit that had a bunch of stretched-out faces stapled to them.
"All teams standing by, manager." Malkuth called out from the radio, her fake cheer bleeding through in her tone.
"I hear you." Alphonse remarked with a sigh before switching the frequency. "Angela, no movements so far?"
"None whatsoever, but you should know that the environment of the Training Department has changed." Angela responded. "All due to the properties of the Abnormalities Hod has resonated with."
"Makes sense. They were stationary in the first place, anyways." Alphonse replied with a nod. "The plan remains the same, I'm going in first, see what's the damage, then you send in the team if things turn violent."
"Understood." Angela replied. "And the rest of the facility?"
"High alert until further notice, keep the clerks watching if there's any further disturbances in the Qliphoth Deterrence." Alphonse answered. "I know you told me it seems unlikely for any other departments to undergo a malfunction like that, but I'd rather keep an eye open for any other situations."
"Very well." Angela said. "I do not expect this suppression to be terribly difficult due to the limited Abnormalities she resonated with, but exercise caution regardless."
"It's on my head if I underestimate her, so I won't." Alphonse replied. "I'm going in now. Wish me luck."
Angela did not do so and simply hung up. He didn't get worked up over that and instead switched to general comms.
"Manager stepping into Training Department's main room. Stand by for instructions."
The door in front of him opened, revealing nothing but inky blackness and rotting wood planks rather than tiles.
He took slow, measured steps into the room, gun lowered and finger off the trigger. The floorboards creaked with each movement, and as he stepped further in, he felt a weight settling into his chest.
Solitude. Thanks to his E.G.O suit, it wasn't difficult for him to recognize the sensation crossing his mind as something foreign. It was a mental attack that he could weather easily. For how long that would hold true, though, remained to be seen.
He turned his head around, scanning the emptiness for any trace of Hod. It didn't take him long to see a spot where light reflected off the floorboards, creating a path. Following the path, he rounded what seemed like a wall blocking his path until he found her.
Sitting on a rocking chair beside a window letting in a dim light, Hod moved back and forth. She was dressed in a weathered and faded red shirt with white frills and a blue skirt. A white bonnet sat atop her head, but her hair flowed freely beneath it. Her bangs grew so long that they completely obscured her eyes.
Hod was the first to speak.
"Once upon a time, there was a girl called Emma." She begun, still rocking back and forth in her seat. "Emma was headstrong and brusque. She said it was because anyone in the Backstreets has to be strong growing up, but there was more to it than that. She watched her siblings die, one by one, because her parents were organ harvesters down on their luck, so they turned on their children for money."
Alphonse felt a deep discomfort settle into his gut as Hod continued.
"And yet, despite her opening up to me about this, she trusted you more than me." She said, lowering her head. "You could see it easily. The way she spoke about you, when she never said a word about me. How could anyone talk about such painful things to someone without feeling some trust or connection?"
Alphonse took a deep breath, trying to find his words. He found them easily, but bit down on them until Hod looked straight at him, turning her head slowly towards him in askance.
"That's not something I can answer." Alphonse answered. "Maybe she just thought the topic was all in the past, maybe she thought you were twisting her arm to get an answer. I don't know. Did you even try asking her?"
"Why should I even try if she won't even answer?" Hod responded as she stopped rocking back and forth. "It's no use, even when I try my best to get others to open up to me, they just shut me out. They can answer on a surface level, but when I try to get closer, they only shut the door in my face."
"Everyone has their own baggage they carry, and it's up to them to unload or not to." Alphonse replied, shaking his head and stepping around to be directly facing Hod. "Emma could tell you to fuck off just as easily as she could tell you why she answered you. It sounds to me like you're just making excuses to never really ask those questions."
Alphonse took a deep breath and stared right at Hod.
"But Emma isn't why we're here, Hod." He said plainly. "You are. You asked me how I got everyone to like me. The real question is, why do you want to know?"
Hod didn't answer the question. Instead, she leaned forward and got off the rocking chair as it melted into a puddle of black sludge which vanished beneath the floorboards. Her bonnet began melting away as well, covering her face completely and moving further down.
A veil of skin occupied the space where her head was, a face with a wide smile drooped down to cover her own, and a dress of flayed skin and coagulated blood covered her body.
Alphonse grabbed his radio. "Encounter, move in, everyone."
Hod moved forward and swung her arm, an arc of solidified blood followed in its way, covered by faces he couldn't distinguish. The attack was slow enough that he could step out of the way.
In response, Alphonse raised his gun and fired. Two shots found their mark before the third was stopped dead by a wall of blood and faces Hod raised.
In his head, he finally heard the foreign thoughts he also heard during his encounters with Netzach and Yesod.
I feel great, bathing in the warm n' cozy sunshine.
I want to help as much as I can here.
Why don't you put a big smile on your face, like mine?
It didn't take long for the agents to arrive and find them. Basil immediately went around the wall Hod brought up, slashing at her with the bear-like paws she wore around her hands and forcing her out into the open. Emma and him both started firing with their respective guns at Hod, and all the while, Asera went around them, stabbing at Hod with his pitchfork.
The exchange lasted barely a few seconds, but it was brought to a halt as Hod screamed loudly and slammed her head against the floorboards, which cracked underneath her and dropped her into the darkness below her. A brief few moments later, the room lit up, no longer changed by the Abnormalities. The hole in the floor was also gone, as if Hod hadn't just hopped down.
"Angela, status?" Alphonse called out as his finger went off the trigger.
"Hod is in the corridor below, but she seems to be going towards an elevator. I suggest going to the corridor above to intercept."
Alphonse nodded and signaled to his employees to follow him. He hurried towards the elevator and moved as Angela instructed him. Despite their haste, by the time they arrived, the corridor was wreathed in the same darkness as before and its floor was replaced by wooden floorboards.
Emma raised her gun to fire at Hod, but Alphonse raised his hand to stop in an order to stop. Hod was once again in the old-timey clothes and bonnet, making no moves to attack.
Alphonse advanced and as he did, Hod spoke up again.
"Once upon a time, there was a girl called Basil." She began, and immediately drew a sound of surprise from the agent in question. "She was always cheerful and happy to share her liveliness with those around her. Even though in truth, she always felt— "
"Hey, hey, HEY!" Basil cut Hod off. "What have you been blabbing about? Are you going to say what I told you in our consultation? What the hell happened with patient confidentiality!?"
Hod remained silent for a moment, then spoke.
"You see? Even though she said it wasn't a big deal, she just shut me out." She said, shaking her head. "I'm tired, I'm exhausted and frustrated with everyone. Why won't they listen to me? I only want what's best for them."
"Yeah, right, like your counseling sessions were all that." Emma cut in. "What the hell were they supposed to help us with? It doesn't change anything."
"Let me ask you then, what does a pool and a gym help you with?" Hod shot back heatedly. "It doesn't change anything either. You're still in danger from the Abnormalities and the Ordeals. You still end up dying to the mistakes the manager could make. You still are just as exposed and unprepared to everything as you were before. Only the training my department provides can change people and help them survive in this facility, so why does he get all the credit for changing things when he's barely put in any effort?"
Alphonse clenched his hands around the gun, then slowly, he raised it with one hand, pointing towards Hod.
"I asked you a question, but you bit your tongue down and shut me out yourself." Alphonse remarked, his expression settling into a grimace. "Why do you want people to like you? Why is it so important to you?"
Alphonse took a breath, then boldly stepped forward.
"Is it vanity? No, you seem desperate," Alphonse spoke, then hazarded a guess. "It's not people's approval you're really after. Could it be that what you're looking for… Is forgiveness for past mistakes?"
Hod didn't answer, instead, her bonnet melted away once more, revealing her with a different veil, this time one wearing a thin, straight line as its mouth.
How come nobody understands my kindness?
I don't feel like talking right now. Could you come back later?
Our employees are suffering! See? Things just don't work out without me here!
Alphonse wasted no time firing at Hod, but she likewise wasted no time putting up a wall of blood and faces in front of her. It completely encompassed the corridor and left them unable to reach her.
Then the wall advanced. Alphonse retreated and he called out to Asera and Basil. Both agents stepped forward and charged at the wall, striking at it and stopping it dead on its tracks.
Grunting, the pair planted their feet firmly on the ground and pushed back against the wall, managing to step forward a couple times, before they were forced back several paces.
Alphonse looked closer, trying to figure out what was going on, then the obvious truth immediately came to mind. The faces on the wall were shifting through their expressions, just like the Abnoemality would change between faces every other second
A stupid idea came to Alponse's mind. With no other options, however, he decided to follow through with it. He stepped back several paces before sprinting forward towards the wall when the faces seemed filled with joy
Alphonse leapt up and stretched his leg forward. The flying kick somehow broke through the wall and left his foot right in Hod's face.
"Answer the question, damn you!" Alphonse yelled out as he landed on the floor. Unfortunately, he got pushed out of the way by Hod. As she tried escaping, she was stabbed by Asera's pitchfork, but she didn't even flinch as she ran away.
"Hod is escaping towards the Control Department." Angela called out from the radio.
"Got it. I think I'm getting close to a breakthrough." Alphonse replied, looking at the rest of his agents and nodding as they looked back at him.
Alphonse radioed Malkuth and told her to evacuate, but he didn't get a response back. Worried over the lack of an answer, he cut short the group's momentary respite and stepped into the elevator. They quickly reached the main room of the Control Department and found it in the same gloomy state as the corridor.
Malkuth stood in one corner of the room, staring at Hod impassively, who was back in her granny's attire and wore a grimace on her face, as she ignored Malkuth and just looked at Alphonse.
"Malkuth, get out, quickly!" He curtly ordered with a sweep of his arm and he looked back at the other Sephirah. "You can tell me all the stories of all the employees, but they're none of my business unless they want me to know. What I want to hear is your story. Your reasons."
"That doesn't matter! All my good intentions have been for nothing. You're the one that people will always look towards!" Hod responded, sweeping her arm to one side.
Alphonse was forced back by the feeling of loneliness that suddenly assaulted him then and there, but he powered through and stepped forward.
"And what does that matter?" He shot back. "You still haven't answered my questions. Why do you want people to recognize what you've done for them? Why are you trying so hard to be liked by people? What do you truly want!?"
The bonnet melted over her head once more, and the thoughts came like a flood.
What the fuck do you want from me? To keep smiling like an idiot!?
You all would be dead where you stand without me! Every single one of you!
Read the damn mood, you piece of shit!
This time, the face on her veil was a rictus of fury. One that fit her following actions She lifted a hand and in the air, spears of hardened blood solidified before she swung her hand down and they followed. Alphonse couldn't dodge out of the way fast enough and felt a stinging, furious pain as one of the spears stabbed through his shoulder.
He lost sight for a moment, blinded by pain, but he realized just in time that Hod was advancing towards him, a wave of blood and faces trailing behind her. Basil stepped forth from the side, swiping at Hod and being deflected immediately. It was enough of a distraction though, and Alphonse stepped to the side, gun raised and firing at Hod, the faces at her side rising with rage and biting down on the bullets he shot.
He grabbed the spear still lodged in his shoulder and pulled, screaming as he felt thorns digging into his hands, but not piercing his skin somehow. With a heave, he pulled out the spear, and breathed heavily. He looked away for a second and noticed Malkuth was still in the room, a spear of hardened blood lay embedded on the wall beside her, only a foot away from her head
"Malkuth, out! Now!" Alphonse ordered forcefully, before focusing on the fight again. He prepared to toss back the spear to Hod, but the second it left his grip, it melted down and splattered against the floor.
Emma then blindsided Hod, putting her revolver right up to her head and pulling the trigger for a point blank shot. Hod recoiled away from Malkuth and Emma as the latter stared at her angrily.
"Answer the damn question, you sack of shit." She spat out. "It's obvious you never did this for us."
Emma stretched out her arms to the sides.
"But who gives a shit!? In this damn City, everyone does what they do for themselves! Who the hell do you think is going to judge you for being a selfish little shit when they aren't any different!" She roared. "Nobody cares!"
"I'm not selfish! I'm really doing everything for you guys, you just don't—"
"Like hell! The only thing that's driving me crazy is that you're not even being honest about it!" Emma shot back. "If you were just honest about what the hell you were angling for, maybe I'd respect you, but you won't even fess up that much! Nobody knows what the hell to make of you!"
In that momentary distraction, Basil pounced upon Hod, dragging her into a crushing bearhug.
"Ya girl's right, you know!? You always were overbearing and annoying, and what the hell could we even do about it?" Basil added her two cents. "So come on, answer the question already, will you!?"
With a heave, Basil's embrace seemed to crack something in Hod's bones, and she slid down as a puddle of muck
Alphonse held onto his wound, finding it closing after only a scant few seconds under the tender mercies of the room's regenerator. Looking back at Malkuth, Alphonse saw her approaching, rather than running away. He just sighed and shook his head as he approached the puddle Hod had become.
He had to end this now.
"Once upon a time…" Alphonse began, staring at the puddle. "There was a girl called Michelle. What did she want?"
A heavy silence settled over them as Hod reformed, back in her old-timey attire and bonnet, her back facing Alphonse.
"Once upon a time…there was a girl called Michelle." Hod said. "And what she wanted was to be forgiven. If her sins couldn't be forgiven, then she wanted them to be forgotten."
Hod lowered her head.
"When she awoke to find herself here, she thought 'this could be my second chance.'" She said, her tone sullen. "She thought she could redeem herself and be free from her mistakes. That this time, for sure, she'd lift everyone up and help them instead of being the reason they lost their lives."
Hod turned around, her eyes no longer obscured by her bangs.
"Can she take it all back and somehow redeem herself in hell? Is that even possible?"
Alphonse took a deep breath, then, slowly…
He shook his head.
"No." He said. "What's done is done. We can't take back our words and just pretend like they didn't happen."
Alphonse sighed and looked at the ceiling.
"But if I had to say something, it's that we just have to keep moving forward. Michelle was a dumb kid, she didn't know any better… But should she just stay stuck in place, stewing over what she did?" Alphonse shook his head. "We're more than the sum of our mistakes. Life doesn't end at our regrets, that'd be too miserable. We've got to keep moving and doing what we can."
Hod closed her eyes, and the bonnet melted down into sludge once more…
This time, however, the room returned to its previous state, and instead of a veil of flesh, a box emerged from the black liquid. A brown, metallic box with four limbs and an antenna on top. A display showcased an eye and a second one displayed the name 'HOD'. At her sides, two Abnormality eggs appeared, one with a bonnet and the other with the stretched out faces of varying moods.
"You're right." Hod replied, her antenna drooping as she did. "What I did can never be undone. A sunken pebble can never float to the surface again. I wanted to be a kind person. I wanted to show everyone that I might be okay here, somehow."
The eye on display seemed to close for a moment, and Hod shook her body as if to shake her head.
"I was never really considerate of others. All I've been doing is imposing myself and my ideas on everyone." She concluded."But I really want to be better. I want my actions to save people, and to at least console them a little in this place. I don't want to be the same as I've been so far."
"Then consider this your chance to be better." Alphonse nodded. "It's not too late to try and help people here, really help them and give them what they need. In a place like this, where every attempt seems to be trampled down by luck and circumstance, what can we do if not try, try and try again?"
Hod seemingly nodded.
"Yes." She turned to look at the agents and tilted down her body at each of them. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you all. I'll try not to be a nuisance from now on."
"Damn right you were, pulling this shit after the workday." Emma grouched loudly. "You better make it up to us somehow."
"I'll find a way, I promise you." Hod said, some guilt leaking through in her voice.
"Well, all's well that ends well, right?" Emma shrugged her shoulders. "Although I expected things to be a little…I dunno, flashier."
"I much prefer them like this, thank you very much." Alphonse said, crossing his arms and letting out a deep sigh.
He looked to the side and felt deeply discomforted when he saw Malkuth, still standing where she was, still in place and smiling.
Peace descended over them as the clerks got to work trying to get everything cleaned up and ready to go. Alphonse sat down at the control room, watching the clerks take away the egg of Today's Shy Look. Hod remained at his side, seated down and leaning back against the wall awkwardly.
"So…who are you?" Hod asked Alphonse. "It's pretty clear to me that you aren't who you appear to be."
"Got it in one. Name's Alphonse." The manager said with a nod, letting out a sigh. "I've gotten mixed up in all this without really knowing how or why, but I'm trying to make the most out of things here."
"So, the things you mentioned during our consultation…"
"All true, and I'm guessing the guy I'm supposed to be had a different history, right?" Alphonse asked.
"I couldn't really say. I never really asked him about it, and I don't know if he would have answered." Hod replied, seeming slightly dispirited.
"Are you disappointed I'm not really him?" Alphonse asked, this time looking away from Hod.
"I don't know. I think I'm partly glad about it, but at the same time…I would really like to hear what he thinks about me."
"I can hazard a very good guess. But whether you want to hear it or not I'll leave it up to you." Alphonse remarked
"I guess…I'd like to know what you think but… Not now. I think I still ought to stay like this a while longer."
"Take as much time as you need."
Hod took him at his word and remained silent for a while, watching the employees move through the room.
"Where do we go from here?" She asked, sounding unsure.
"Wherever we end up, really." Alphonse answered with a shrug. "I'm winging it, honestly, though I have vague notions of what I ought to do."
"And these notions are enough for you?" Hod asked, clearly taken aback.
"You take every scrap you can when you're starved for options." Alphonse remarked with a nod. "I have a vague idea that I ought to help the Sephirot work through things."
Hod hummed, she was about to say something, but she was cut off by a familiar voice.
"That's funny. You're the last person I would expect to help us."
Alphonse turned his head to see Malkuth looming over him, clacking her fingers against her clipboard.
"I mean, isn't that just the perfect joke?" Malkuth smiled, eyes closed as she giggled. "How would you ever help us when you won't even look back towards us?"
When she opened her eyes, she stopped smiling and stared right into Alphonse's eyes.
"You don't care about me, at least. You never acknowledged me." She said coldly. "You've always just ignored me and never saw the need to see what I was doing. You've come to your own conclusions and shut me out. Did you even ask for my help managing the employees for this emergency? No, you immediately went to Miss Angela. You took my job away from me and you didn't even stop to consider what I could have done for you."
Malkuth giggled, and from the edge of her lips, a black liquid started to drip down. At the same time, the remaining Abnormality egg dissolved into black sludge.
"Come on, tell me. Isn't that just laughable?"
Alphonse tried to move, but only felt himself attacked by a migraine. The last thing he saw was Malkuth, throwing back her head and cackling.
When she joined our team, she was blindingly bright. She had her bouts of incompetence, but she held a sunny disposition and always tried her best. Passion was her greatest contribution to our research.
She never really stood out over anyone in terms of intelligence, but her drive to see out project succeed was unlike anyone else's. Sometimes I wondered if the two knew each other from the start and she was just someone she'd never told me about.
Even after the incident, she tried to be as bright and sunny as she could be. Of course, she could never compare, but she made the attempt nonetheless. Although in hindsight, I know that she was just trying to cope with her loss, in her own way, she wasn't really trying to replace her, that would have been silly to even consider.
"Hey, I heard Extraction experiments are going to be conducted soon." She said, looking at me with a sad smile. "But when I looked over the list of participants, I couldn't find my name on it."
I gave a curt answer, yes, that was the case. I hadn't included her amongst the participants of the experiment.
"I mean, there's a ton of reasons behind it I'm sure, and maybe I'm not good enough for the experiment yet, but may I join it?"
I certainly had my reasons for not including her, but I didn't bother explaining them to her. Key among them was that out of our group, she still had much to contribute. She should have known full well that the experiments could end in her death, and that was not something I was quite willing to risk at that point. We had made some progress, so there was no need for her to toss herself into it.
All those words felt like obvious, unstated truths. That's why I never said any of them.
"I've learned a lot here. I'm sure I can help you in some way." She said after a while. "I'll be sure not to disappoint!"
I should have said something.
Passion could only achieve so much. Impatience would only hinder us, so we needed to take our time. But out of all of us, I think she was the one who most badly wanted to see her dream turn into reality. Was it eagerness or obsession that drove her to do what she did
Either way, it ended terribly. I couldn't even dare to look at what had become of her after she used Cogito on herself, despite it not being ready for human use. By the time I had looked back, she was dragging herself on the floor, her fingernails having fallen off and half her teeth knocked out of place. With bloodshot eyes, she stared right at me.
"...ill me… Please… K-kill me…!"
All I could do was stare as her life slipped away. It was that moment when I realized that I should have paid more attention to her, to let her know that she was contributing to our research more than she knew she was.
But it was too late for that. Regardless, her death was another scar I bore and one which I know I could have prevented. Even still, I couldn't allow myself to stop because of it.
After all, I…
I had…
I had made…
I had made her a…
Chapter 48: The Will to Stand up Straight ~ 3.13 ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse woke up with a start, finding himself coughing as he tried to get his bearings.
Part of him wished he hadn't woken up at all, when the first thing he saw was Hod applying a tourniquet to Emma, now down one arm.
"Took your time to wake up," Emma grunted hoarsely, clearly biting down and fighting the pain. Hod turned around for a moment but went back to tying a knot around the bloody stump
Alphonse just stared at the scene in mute horror, his expression faltering as he let out a deep breath.
"Shit."
"Cool your tits, boss. This is nothing." Emma added with a mirthless, brief laugh "Nothing a good prosthetic can't fix. I can splurge on one with my salary."
"We have other options, but we can talk about that later." Hod said before she turned to Alphonse, helping him up. "Manager, Malkuth's lost it, just like I did. Unfortunately, it seems the Abnormalities she's resonated with are…"
"Much stronger." Alphonse surmised and rubbed at his eyes. "Did Angela manage to contain her?"
"For the moment, yes." Angela chimed in from the radio, drawing his eyes towards it. "However, Malkuth has resonated with the King of Greed. Should she use its powers, no blast door will be able to contain her."
"Right…" Alphonse sighed. He had to stop himself from asking the one million dollar question out loud.
How the hell was he going to get them out of that mess?
The answer came the same as it did every other time. He would figure it out as he went. For the moment though…
"Angela, I know you say I'm not ready for it, but I'm gonna need HE gear." Alphonse stated plainly.
"I cannot approve that request." Angela remarked cooly. "The likelihood of you corroding from exposure to it is not negligible."
"Try me, what are my odds?" Alphonse asked as he rolled his eyes.
"Twenty seven percent, increasing with every minute in combat." She said flatly. "I am not giving you higher rated E.G.O."
"Angela, either Malkuth kills me or I roll the dice and maybe survive. Let me bet my life on this." Alphonse retorted flippantly.
Angela did not reply, but he heard her breathe out heavily. It seemed that she wasn't going to budge.
"Manager, I know it's not my place to tell you how to handle things…" Hod chose that moment to speak up. "But I don't think you'll be getting very far by just changing into another E.G.O."
Alphonse raised a brow as he turned to look at Hod. For her part, the Sephirah didn't so much as flinch and continued.
"Yes, it'll help you survive for longer against Malkuth, but you haven't really mentioned what your plan is." Hod pointed out, and in doing so, she made Alphonse cross his arms and look aside. "Did you have any ideas?"
"I was going to think of them after I got that safety net set up." Alphonse admitted, then rubbed at his eyes and sighed. "Okay, yeah. You've got me there."
"We should probably head towards Safety while we talk." Hod said as she moved back to Emma to help her up.
The trio made their way to an elevator, with Hod having offered Emma a metallic shoulder, but the later having refused it because she only lost an arm, not a leg. Once there, Alphonse let out a sigh.
"Okay, from the top. I should have asked before, what's our status?" Alphonse asked, leaning back on the elevator's wall. "How'd we end up with Emma down an arm?"
"Malkuth lashed out indiscriminately by using the form of the All-Around Helper. In doing so, killing all the clerical staff in the room and heavily wounding Emma." Angela provided the answer through the radio. "Additionally, Asera attempted to fight her as Hod took you out of the room, he has died as a result. No further agents have been lost so far."
"Damn it." Alphonse breathed out. "At least it isn't as bad as it could have been. How's the rest of our staff?"
"Scattered and confused, but awaiting orders." Angela remarked as the elevator doors opened.
"I can work with that." Alphonse remarked with a sigh.
"With all that said, manager, I think the next step is figuring out what you should actually say to Malkuth." Hod spoke right after. "You ought to think about the feelings that have consumed her and how to address them."
Alphonse didn't speak up, instead clamming up and letting his expression screw up in discomfort as they moved towards the Safety Team's main room.
He kept staring ahead thinking of what to say. Or rather, he tried, but his mind remained void of thought the more he tried to think about it.
"Manager?"
Hod's words snapped him out of his trance, and he realized he'd been so wrapped up in thinking about it that he didn't see where Emma went off to while they were in the Safety Department's main room.
"Y-yeah?" He spoke up.
"You're out of sorts right now. Are you struggling to think of what to say?" Hod asked, staring right at him.
Alphonse brought a hand to his face and let out a sigh.
"Frankly… I screwed up, big time." He said as he looked away from Hod. "I've… always tried to ignore Malkuth because she's so difficult to handle. Now that's biting me in the ass and I've no one to blame for that but myself."
Looking back at Hod, Alphonse scratched at the back of his head. "I'm at a loss, completely and utterly."
"I understand. Even so, I think it's worthwhile to try and think about what she's said." Hod replied, staring at Alphonse without flinching. "Despite everything that has happened, I think what Malkuth needs is to talk with you about it all, regardless of how it all comes out."
Alphonse kept his face in a light grimace, and he sighed and shook his head.
"I never looked at her. Neither did he." Alphonse eventually stated. "I'm not sure I can just…"
"I'm sure it's difficult, but try to put words to your grievances and tell her what you think about her." Hod added after he trailed off. "It will ultimately be better if you are honest with her."
"I don't know, Malkuth is… fucking crazy." Alphonse said with a breath. "The first and last time I tried to step in about her whole 'purge the weak' mindset, she told me to fuck off. I'm not sure how much I can actually get across to her."
"More than if you simply didn't talk with her." Hod remarked with a nod. "Just try to think about it for a while."
Alphonse remained silent after that, and Hod simply let him go right after, moving elsewhere in the room and talking with some of the employees there.
There was a whole lot he could tell Malkuth to her face about the way she conducted herself. He wasn't sure how much of it would help them to get through to her, but Hod was right in that he had to speak to her about it. There was only so much he could talk with Malkuth about her issues without getting into that.
As he mulled over things, he was approached by Emma, and Alphonse stood looking at her for a while, jaw agape. She spun a new arm around, showing off unblemished, bare skin as she wound it back in circles.
"W- How- What?" Alphonse stared at her and pointed at the arm. "How the hell?"
"Yeah, I'm surprised too, boss." Emma said with a hum. "Apparently this is part of a new product line of K Corp healing technology. I just got injected with an ampoule and grew a new arm back."
"That's… insane." Alphonse muttered as he stared at the new arm, unsure of what to say.
"Tell me about it. I'd never even heard about it until now." Emma replied with a shrug. "Apparently we have a whole lot of these, but we've never used them because people who get injured as badly as I did usually just die shortly after."
"I…" Alphonse stopped, then his hand went towards his stomach, where he'd been gored during his fight with Netzach. It wasn't the first time that had happened, was it?
He supposed that meant he didn't have to wear higher rated E.G.O. even though it would have made things better.
"Anyways, I'll be ready to slap Malkuth around after I get a replacement E.G.O. Suit." Emma remarked lightly. "I don't know why we've gotta go through the whole punch out therapy routine, but I know there's a reason for it. Just give her hell and get this whole thing over with, will you boss?"
Alphonse let out a deep breath
"Right. I'll see what I can do."
With a somewhat solid idea of what to do, Alphonse stopped right outside the main room of the Control Department. He stood alone, with his agents at the ready on the other entrance.
"As you're now away from prying ears, I suppose I can speak freely." Angela suddenly chimed in from the radio. "I will never relent on the matter of E.G.O. because of the risk it poses."
"It's not like I don't get what you mean, but I still think it'd be better if I could access more tools." Alphonse replied with a heavy sigh.
"No, you clearly don't actually get what I mean." Angela shot back. "E.G.O. are capable of corroding the user if they are unprepared to use them. This corrosion has irreversible effects."
Alphonse remained quiet for a moment before staring at his hand, where there once was a bloody bandage. "As I understand it, E.G.O. gifts weren't exactly something that could be taken away either."
"While true, you are also underestimating the possible psychological effects corrosion may have." Angela added, her tone clipped. "It may be possible that the TimeTrack2 Protocol could reverse your corrosion, but who is to say your mind will even remain intact afterwards?"
Alphonse didn't argue back at that. He was playing with fire, in more than a few ways.
"I am… Already making concessions by allowing you to face the Sephirot personally. You should be doing so from the safety of your office." Angela stated after a brief pause. "However, the danger you face is purely physical. Should you be in a position where you were to die, we can turn back the clock for you. The same is not the case if you were to wear an E.G.O. higher than what you are prepared for."
Alphonse let out a heavy sigh and he shook his head.
"Alright… I get it." He remarked, lifting both his hand in the air and rubbing at his face right after. "I'm just… A little frustrated, I suppose. I want to become stronger, to face everything head on."
After a moment, he leaned back against a wall.
"It's all pretty daunting. I don't know what I'm doing half of the time, even though I say I have a pretty good idea by this point." Alphonse admitted, staring at a camera and gesturing at it with a hand. "I'm not going to get on your case just because you're not giving me what I want, but I'm just…"
He let his hand drop as he shook his head.
"I dunno."
Angela remained silent for a while. It didn't last more than a couple seconds, but the silence left Alphonse feeling the nape of his neck tensing up the longer it lasted.
"Ultimately, we are both playing our assigned roles." Angela replied with a brief breath. "Your anxieties are yours to handle within the bounds of what is possible here. It will be my duty to define what those limits are for you, and it'll be yours to decide what to do in light of them."
Alphonse nodded, getting off the wall.
"Yeah… Yeah, that we'll do."
He stepped in front of the door, taking a moment to breathe deeply before he spoke again in a gruff voice.
"Time to get to work."
He gripped his gun, keeping his finger on the trigger and stepped forward as the door opened. The room made him retch on sight as he spotted the bisected bodies of several employees, their insides spilled out everywhere on the floor and the walls. The gory sight did gave him pause, but he forced himself to ignore the details just so he could find the perpetrator.
Malkuth stood on spindly, mechanical legs, knives were stretched out across all four of her limbs, and her body was reduced to a simple, round shape, black in color and with a yellow eye akin to the rest of the Sephirot's displays.
What kind of task do you want me to do? I can help with anything.
Everything's all jumbled up, messed up, flustered… hahaha…
I will help you with my wide selection of tools.
"Oh manager, how nice of you to come here! You've saved me the effort of having to look for you!" Malkuth said, her voice chipper and peppy. "You know, I've been thinking, what would it take for you to look at me for once? Is this enough, or should I do something even bigger?"
"You have my attention, Malkuth." Alphonse replied as he aimed down the sights of his gun towards her. "But I'm more than a little cross with you."
"You're so silly, manager. I've been far more angry with you than you have been with me." Malkuth said, bobbing up and down and spinning around in place.
Alphonse scoffed. Malkuth began spinning faster.
"Now!" Alphonse screamed as he dove out of the way. Malkuth lunged forward, all her limbs extended as she cartwheeled into a wall instead of ripping Alphonse apart.
The other door to the room opened, and from it, Emma emerged and pinned down Malkuth with a pitchfork. Basil quickly took the opportunity and pounced on the Sephirah, slamming her bear paws upon Malkuth's body.
"I messed up, I'll cop to that." Alphonse remarked as he got off the floor. "I spent too much time wrapped up in other things to pay attention to you."
Malkuth struggled to move as Basil slammed her paws on her limbs, all the while, Emma twisted the pitchfork to increase her leverage.
"It's not like you'll just forgive me if I say sorry, but I at least have to apologize for that much." Alphonse continued. "The question is where we stand after all is said and done."
Malkuth finally managed to break free from the agents' attacks, and in a second, she began to melt as the room darkened.
Alphonse raised a hand and motioned at the pair of agents to stop. It didn't take long for Malkuth to reform, appearing in much the same granny clothes as Hod did during their encounter.
"Once upon a time, there was a girl called Elijah." She spoke softly, yet loud enough to be heard. "She was never the most talented or smartest. In fact, she was a klutz who often forgot things and had to write them down on a notepad."
Alphonse met her gaze, even obscured by the bangs as it was with Hod.
"One day, Elijah's friend died. She was very sad about it, but she decided to keep moving forward, because her dream was so dazzling." Malkuth continued. "She tried and tried to measure up to the task, to help complete that one dream and advance the research as far as she could, but time and time again she was rebuffed. Was it her lack of talent? Was it her klutziness? Why wasn't she allowed to contribute to the research?"
She posed those questions and stared at Alphonse, waiting for an answer. An answer that wasn't Alphonse's to give, but that he tried to convey regardless.
"She wasn't allowed to participate because it wasn't safe." He said. "It was something she should have known very well. She could have died, she likely would have. There were still things she could do without risking herself."
"And you cared?" Malkuth spat out venomously. "Since when did you care about us? You never spoke to me! The only things you ever said were refusals! You never even explained why!"
"He thought it obvious. It's on him for being so thoughtless." Alphonse replied without flinching. "Still, you know what happened to you after you grabbed that Cogito, don't you? Then you know that he wasn't wrong to refuse your participation in the experiments, seeing how that panned out."
Malkuth stared at him with a displeased expression for a few seconds before she began melting into black sludge. The room began to light up once again and Alphonse saw as a pair of fluffy, brown arms began to emerge.
"Fall back, we need more agents at Training." Alphonse began stepping back.
The shape of a beat up teddy bear with a brown wig stared at him and began lumbering forward. He retreated along with the agents and he grabbed his radio.
"Everyone, do not engage for prolonged periods, fight her off in short bursts and rotate with other agents." Alphonse warned.
He heard Malkuth's steps, heavy and thudding against the ground, getting closer and closer.
Alphonse picked up the pace before she could gain on him. He slid into the elevator along with Basil and Emma and descended upon the Training Department's main room. Four other agents stood by with weapons ready.
Would you like to play with me? I was too lonely.
Will you finally praise me? I just want to feel proud.
You're the only one I want to talk with…
It didn't take long for Malkuth to arrive, and all the agents sprung into action as soon as the elevator doors opened. Forewarned as they were about the danger, they had very little issue fighting as he'd directed, in short bursts of violence and falling back to allow someone else to take their place right after.
Malkuth let out a frustrated cry after being tossed around for a while and charged towards Alphonse. She pushed aside the employees as they got in her way, but when she was a couple paces away, Emma came up from behind her and kicked her back, dropping her to the ground and pinning her to the floor with her pitchfork.
Malkuth tried to drag herself closer to Alphonse with a fluffy arm, but only managed to scratch at the floor ineffectually.
"Have you any idea how I felt?" Malkuth growled out. "How lost I felt after you found her in the bathtub? How desperate I was to try and keep going in spite of everything? You don't have a clue, do you? You don't know how helpless I felt, how much I wanted to hear someone, anyone say that it'd be alright, that I was doing my best."
Alphonse felt something twisting in his gut, a deep pain from scars he himself didn't bear. He took a deep breath and shook his head.
"And you think he didn't?" Alphonse asked, staring right at Malkuth. "No, Elijah. He just had to act the part of the team's rock after she left. He was too wrapped up in his own head to even consider that."
"Enough! Enough of you talking about it like you are someone else, Ayin!" Malkuth snarled out. "It doesn't matter how much you've separated yourself from who you used to be, you're still the same! You haven't even changed a bit! You're still the same heartless bastard who left me for dead even when I begged you to kill me!"
Alphonse recoiled upon hearing the name, feeling sick for a moment, but he pushed aside the feeling as Malkuth slammed her hand upon the floor and it melted into black sludge. The dark substance then started to surge forth, encompassing her entire body.
Emma tried to step off of her, but found herself launched to the ceiling instead as the black mud grew a huge lump. Stepping back, Alphonse saw it grow further and further before coalescing into its final shape.
A torso laid on the ground, massive in size covered by a labcoat. Bloody fingers scratched against the ground while a giant head stared at him. Elijah in her dying moments stared right at him, eyes with red sclera trembled and wavered.
The employees immediately went on the offensive, shooting, stabbing and slashing at her, but Malkuth just laughed as a magic circle appeared on the wall next to Alphonse.
I feel empty inside… Hungry… I want more things…
Make sure you feel this horrible sense of helplessness to your core, right to your heart.
I'll… eat it all… Eat everything in my path…
Alphonse immediately felt a sense of unease as Malkuth's mouth unhinged, revealing rows and rows of teeth within. Following his gut, he stepped back and left the room, retreating into the elevator.
Screams rang out, muffled by the door closing in front of him. Alphonse stared blankly at the doors in horror as he realized what he'd just done and what Malkuth was doing.
"Manager, remain in the elevator." Angela called out to him through the radio. "Malkuth is moving too fast, she is decimating the employees across the whole facility."
Alphonse took shallow and quick breaths. Feeling trapped, he moved back to wall of the elevator and slid down onto the floor.
What the hell was he supposed to do now? Why the hell didn't he at least tell people to run away?
The pressure mounted, Alphonse could feel as the walls closed in and he was left a small, pathetic thing. As he felt himself on the verge of a breakdown, a voice called out to him.
"Get a grip! Manager!" Angela spoke forcefully. "Alphonse!"
He took a deep breath and lightly punched at his cheek. He felt just about ready to break down crying until he heard Angela's voice calling his name.
"It's not over yet. It's not… over." He muttered to himself as he picked up the gun from the floor. "Not until I give up. Not while I'm still standing… Right?"
He covered his face with his free hand and dragged it across his eyes, nose and mouth.
"Good." Angela called out. "Now listen carefully, Malkuth will exhaust herself at the rate she's going. You're only going to get one chance to end this after she does. If she manages to recover, you won't survive her attacks."
"Got it." Alphonse breathed out, then after a pause, he added. "Angela, thanks. For having my back, I mean."
Angela didn't give him a reply.
He waited, taking deep breaths as he did to try and steady himself. He found it working remarkably well, in spite of the stress of the situation. After a few minutes which felt like hours, he felt the elevator move.
"She's about to stop in one of the Information Department's corridors." Angela instructed. "Just head straight."
Alphonse nodded his head as he felt the rest of his body tensing up. The elevator stopped, but the doors didn't open until a couple seconds later.
He had a hard time seeing things; the backup lights were on, tinting the corridor red. He saw a few lumps on the ground, but he dared not try to focus on them and discern what they were. Instead, he advanced with long strides towards the other end of the corridor, towards the path connecting the Training and Information Departments.
He found Malkuth immediately as he stepped in. Much smaller in size now, she was about as big as a normal person would be. She dragged herself across the floor with her fingers, struggling to move even a few inches. Under the backup lights, it was difficult to tell more than that, but he still knew how she looked, with bloodshot eyes, nails falling off and fingers bleeding.
Alphonse took a deep breath and approached. He took slow steps until he ended up in front of Malkuth.
"It's all such a damn mess." He began, shaking his head. "I never really wanted to ignore you, but it always felt so much easier. I felt like you wouldn't listen to me if I told you to stop being so overeager, so I didn't even try. I felt like you were driving me up a wall with the way you acted, but I just bit my tongue and said nothing."
Alphonse sighed.
"It was so much easier. But it wasn't right."
Malkuth lowered her head, taking heavy breaths as she did.
"So what does that mean for us?" She asked. "You can regret everything all you want, but that won't change a thing."
"It won't." Alphonse agreed, nodding along. "But that doesn't mean it's too late to change things. I'll face you, Malkuth. I won't turn and run, this time, the next time, and every other time I have to. I'll look you in the eye and I'll say what I have to."
"Have you ever felt it?" Malkuth shook her head. "That feeling of sailing the ocean without a map or any kind of guidance? The feeling of groping blindly through a vast darkness?"
Malkuth raised her head to look at Alphonse.
"It feels like I'm an island on that vast ocean." She continued. "I work in the Control Team, I've always felt pressured being here, being in charge not just of my employees but everyone else. When everything starts tumbling down, I start to think I won't be able to handle it."
"I know that feeling all too well." Alphonse responded. "I know what it's like to be in charge of everyone. To be responsible for everyone's workload, for their well being…" He looked to the floor and shook his head. "And I know what it's like to let everyone down, to have to say that there's nothing I can do for them. To watch them die over and over and over again."
Malkuth took a heavy breath before she put one hand on the floor at her side and she pushed herself up.
"I know. And I know you're doing your best." Malkuth spoke as her form began to melt away, revealing metal casing underneath. "To be honest, I don't know if it's enough, but still…"
Before him laid a metal box with a pair of displays on its surface. One held what seemed like the facsimile of an eye, and the other bore the name MAlKUTH.
"I don't expect you to suddenly be a shining beacon or a lighthouse in the vast ocean, or that you'll address all my grievances, but…" Malkuth said as she nodded. "Maybe we can just try and wait, right?"
Malkuth stood at her full height.
"Let's take in all those horrible moments." She said, "But I want you to be the one to bear the suffering, manager… Like we are now."
"It's the least I could do for you." Alphonse shook his head and looked back at the door. "And for everyone else."
With that said, Malkuth inclined her body as if nodding and put her hands together. The struggle was over, now all that was left was to pick up the pieces.
Chapter 49: ~ He Goes Back Down to the Plain Again ~
Chapter Text
Alphonse wasted very little time after Malkuth settled down and he sat down on the ground. The Sephirah seemed unsure of what to do for a couple seconds before she sat down next to him.
"So… Ayin." Alphonse began, shaking his head. "It's the first time I've heard his name properly."
Malkuth stared at him for a while, then said. "I suppose you would be unfamiliar with it. I don't know how you see it, if you think it's a different life or someone else, but that was your name."
"How do I put this…" Alphonse scratched at his chin. "I'm not the same guy. I don't know how, but I ended up in his body. I'm someone else."
"What?" Malkuth said flatly.
"What?" Alphonse asked back.
The two remained in silence for a few awkward seconds before Alphonse added. "I'm not Ayin, my name's Alphonse."
The silence resumed once more and Alphonse was forced to look away and groan as he thought of what else to say. It didn't last for too much longer, however, as Malkuth finally said something.
"Now I just feel silly, putting all my baggage on you like that…" She murmured and looked away. "I should have figured it out sooner."
"No, no, I messed up the same way he did and ignored you. That's on me." Alphonse shook his head and sighed. "I did deserve to get raked over the coals for that."
Malkuth seemed to take his words in and accept them, seeing how she didn't say anything else. Alphonse and Malkuth stayed like that, seated on the floor for a good five minutes just cooling down from everything that happened.
But that moment of repose, as all things, had to end, and Alphonse knew it. He got up and took a deep breath.
"Well, I suppose that's enough of a breather." He said, his expression turning glum. "It's time to face the music."
Malkuth got off the floor without saying anything, she looked at the ground and stood silently for a while.
"I should leave. I need to oversee the cleanup… if people will even listen to me after what I've done." She said, quietly.
"If they don't, they'll have to answer to me." Alphonse said, shaking his head. "We'll manage, somehow."
"I guess." Malkuth said as she let out what seemed like a breath. "I'll see you soon, alright?"
Alphonse nodded, waving her goodbye and then walking in the opposite direction. He stopped by the door and waited for Malkuth to leave before he grabbed his radio.
"What's the damage, Angela?" He asked flatly, not wanting to hear the answer but knowing he could only dodge the subject for so long.
"We have lost 90 percent of agents and all their assigned E.G.O gear." Angela replied bluntly. "It is a complete disaster that has made the situation untenable."
Alphonse took a breath. 90 percent. Almost the entirety of his employees, gone in a matter of seconds. The sheer scale was difficult to even fathom, and processing that information became difficult.
How many people did he leave behind by going into the elevator?
"Manager, are you lingering on the deaths of the employees?" Angela asked, her tone even.
"It's hard not to." Alphonse answered, shaking his head. "Just because time will rewind and undo their deaths, doesn't mean they didn't happen, or that they don't matter."
He slumped forward, letting his head touch the door and hold his weight.
"But as far as the plan goes, they don't. Isabel was right." Alphonse raised his hand and slammed it against the door. "No one other than the Sephirot matters. It drives me up a wall… Especially when I end up catching myself in the act and go along with it."
Angela kept silent for a while. Long enough that Alphonse wasn't sure if she had anything to say at all.
"You can see the bold-faced hypocrisy of this entire plan yourself." She spoke firmly and with a tinge of some strange exhaustion he'd never heard in her voice before. "All of this has been done to save humanity, but in the process has perpetuated untold suffering. You are able to see it for what it is."
"A load of bullshit, that's what." Alphonse remarked, his bitterness seeping through.
"I've already told you this once before and I will say it again." Angela spoke up. "Detach yourself from the suffering of the employees. You will not find solace here and you will continue to watch them die, time and time again. The sooner you accept that there is nothing you can do for them, the better."
Alphonse wanted to fire back, to argue against what she was saying. He couldn't work up the motivation to do so, especially when it was so blatantly what the plan demanded of him. He didn't know how long he could keep it up.
Instead… Alphonse sighed and changed the topic. "Are we going to have to reset?"
"Most likely, yes." Angela answered flatly. "The employees that will replace the old ones will not be able to handle some of the more dangerous Abnormalities in the facility, to say nothing of whichever ones come in the next few days, and without E.G.O. to protect them, they will have no room to learn. I would say that it is a lost cause."
Alphonse shook his head as he got off the door and looked at the floor. "Right… I figured." He turned around and put his back against the wall. "And what about the memories of the Sephirot. Will they just… Reset? Or are they going to keep their memories this time?"
"Your progress with Hod and Malkuth will not be lost, however…" Angela took an extended pause. "You will have to do without their memories and those of Yesod and Netzach until the twenty-first day."
"I can deal, somehow." Alphonse remarked. "Do it, before I start to regret it."
"Understood. It will take a while, so please wait as I prepare for the process." Angela replied curtly.
Alphonse sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, just let me get somewhere I can sit down."
He moved towards the door once more and it opened up, letting him enter the room where the elevator to Central Command was located. The place was a wreck, with the equipment being broken and the backup lights faintly illuminating the room. It'd do, as far as he cared. He moved towards a corner and sat down.
He thought back on what he'd done so far and what he'd achieved. The grueling tasks, the endless repetition, the deaths of his employees. What was it all for, really? Could he even keep it up? With so much left to do and such a bleak situation, could he even manage to finish and get out of there?
Was there even a way out, or had he just convinced himself that doing what was asked of him would free him? He didn't know, but he knew he earnestly wanted to escape that hell, even if for a moment.
A sound snapped him out of his thoughts, the sound of a soda can being opened. Alphonse blinked and turned his head in the direction of the sound. He wasn't sure if he'd just failed to spot them completely or if he arrived while he was deep in thought, but someone was sitting close to him. He couldn't recognize them because of the lighting, but their nonchalance struck him.
"Tired?" Archer's voice cut in, and Alphonse could only barely place it as his.
Alphonse sighed, shaking his head. "Very."
Archer hummed before taking a sip of soda.
"You haven't even started and you're tired already." Archer commented. "Shame."
Alphonse looked at Archer with a raised brow, but the agent didn't seem to care about the stare as he sipped on his soda. He didn't say anything else before he got up and walked away.
He wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't have to think on it for very long, as Angela quickly radio'd him.
"It's ready. Are you prepared?" She asked.
Alphonse shook his head.
"No, but do it anyways."
And thus, once more, the wheel turned.
Everything returned to the very beginning, Alphonse was made to start again, but he didn't voice any complaints. They died in his throat the moment they tried to leave.
Malkuth didn't remember anything, as Angela said. No one would for twenty one days. Alphonse decided he would just try to reach that point as soon as he could. The wait felt like it could be more bearable, what with the recreational facilities remaining in place even after the reset.
Thus the first day passed with no incident, as did the second. The third saw the death of a few clerks due to the Fragment of the Universe breaking out, but no further losses.
Then came the fourth day and with it, the last Abnormality in the Control Department.
Alphonse beheld a mirror, or what seemed to be one. Propped up by a couple planks of wood, its surface was black like obsidian and its frame dotted with spots of red.
After his agents used it a couple times, a name was assigned to it, the Mirror of Adjustment. By the end of the day, he had a pretty detailed report on what it did.
Angela stared at Alphonse as he looked at the report, unmoving and unresponsive. She thought about saying something, but thought better of it. She did, at least, before Alphonse broached the subject himself.
"This is…" He began, seeming to struggle for words for a moment. "Interesting. Very interesting."
"What is?" She asked, though she already knew the answer.
"The Mirror." Alphonse replied. "According to Paul, when he looked into the mirror, he felt as though he was replaced with a different version of himself, and he saw himself in a different life, doing something else. A whaler in U Corp's district."
Alphonse fell silent briefly after, and Angela stared at him with a raised brow. What was he getting at?
"If I looked into the Mirror, would I see myself, or would I glimpse his life?"
Angela did not answer, in fact, she remained silent and stared at Alphonse as she pondered on his question.
She wasn't sure about the answer herself, or even if it was a question he should entertain. What she didn't know was just how much it would haunt him that night.
Chapter 50: I Can Quit Anytime ~ 4.1 ~
Chapter Text
On the fifth day, Alphonse arrived at his office just like any other time. Angela did, however, notice his slouching posture and lost gaze. It reminded her somewhat of the days when they were just starting out. Seeing him in that state baffled her; hadn't he managed to get himself together?
"You seem awfully exhausted for the workload you have at the moment." Angela noted, brow raised.
"I couldn't sleep." Alphonse answered lamely.
Angela knew that wasn't entirely true, as he'd slept for about five hours, he simply had trouble falling asleep.
She would have offered him sleeping aids, but after one iteration of X tried killing himself by downing the entire bottle, she threw the rest away. Ordering more would take an eternity from his perspective, given the different time scale the facility was on, so she wouldn't even bother.
"I see." Angela said as she glanced towards his desk. "Unfortunately, you will have to wait after the workday is finished before you can get any rest."
Alphonse nodded, humming and moving towards the chair only to sit down with a sigh. He kept his silence and looked the facility over through his monitors. She noticed him lingering on the Mirror of Adjustment and staring firmly at the screen.
Frankly, she was quite done seeing him continue to keep his silence, so she finally asked, "Is there a reason you are so absorbed by the mirror?"
Alphonse sighed, rubbing at his temples and then shaking his head.
"I already told you. I'm curious what I'd see if I looked into the mirror." Alphonse said glumly, then scratched at the back of his head. "I'm lying, it's more than curiosity, I… I need to look into the mirror, Angela."
"And why would you want that? Whatever you see won't help you with work, it might even impede you." Angela shot back with a raised brow. "You are not an agent, you do not need to use the mirror to alter yourself. Those alterations are temporary, besides."
"I…" Alphonse made to speak, but seemingly bit his tongue and stopped himself from answering.
"Why are you waffling on? At this point, you should have made up your mind and spoken more decisively." Angela chastised him as she stared right at him. "It isn't like you to be so reserved when you have brazenly spoken your mind so many times now, both with me and the Sephirot."
"That's just it, I don't even know what's 'like me' anymore." Alphonse finally spoke up and looked up at Angela with a grimace.
That answer simply confused Angela more, so she stared at him and kept her gaze until he finally spoke up again.
"I've always been pretty sure that I'm me." Alphonse said with a shake of his head. "I'm always able to brazenly say that I'm Alphonse, and not the jackass who started all of this, but…"
He took a deep breath, bringing his hand close to his chest as he let out air.
"Every time I've confronted the Sephirot, I've always found bits and pieces of Ayin's past flowing into my mind." Alphonse admitted, crossing his arms, but doing so in a way that seemed like he was covering his belly rather than anything else. "It's been clearing things up for me, but it's also left me feeling at a loss. I know who I am, but every time those memories hit… I've been getting the impression that I'm less me. Like he's been creeping around in the back of my head. Like one day… He might come back and shove me in the place he's been lurking in."
Angela didn't try to assuage his fear. There wasn't any way she could, knowing that if he ever made it to the point where the memory synchronization was to happen… There was always a chance that fear could be made manifest.
"That's why… I'd like to look into the mirror." Alphonse spoke with a heavy sigh. "I want to see whether I'd see him or me. And if it's him…"
He felt silent, keeping whatever he was going to say to himself. Angela wasn't sure if he would even finish his sentence even if she pressed for it.
She decided to consider her options carefully. The Mirror of Adjustment was dangerous, it created a dependency on the user similar to a drug, employees would look at the mirror several times per day, reducing them to a barely conscious state until they were unable to act by themselves. That said, there were several cases where limiting the use of the mirror was enough to avoid such a dependency. Besides, those employees that used the mirror safely were able to gain valuable insights that allowed them to perform their work better.
"Allowing you to use it once couldn't hurt, I suppose." Angela replied after giving it some thought for what him wasn't more than a couple seconds. "However, it will only be once, and I expect a thorough report of what you see in the mirror. If you can abide by those terms, I am willing to allow it after the workday has come to a close."
"Thank you. This means a lot to me." Alphonse let out a breath and nodded. "Yeah, one time is all I need."
Angela gestured towards the screens. "If that's the case, then it'd be for the best if you got started. The workday begins in one minute."
"I hear you. I'll be on top of things." Alphonse nodded and turned towards the desk, adjusting things to his liking.
Angela could see his spirits lifting after that, so she said nothing else. Just once wouldn't hurt, and surely it'd make things easier for him if he were to see himself in the mirror. If he didn't, that would be something she'd handle when it happened.
Alphonse found himself standing right outside the room where the mirror was contained, and he ended up staring nervously at the door.
He wasn't entirely sure about his own idea. It was something that he wanted to do, regardless of what happened, but something he wasn't sure about the consequences of. If he found himself when he looked at the mirror, that'd be well and good, but if he saw Ayin, he wasn't sure how he'd react. Part of him thought that any shock would pass and he'd be well after a while, but he wasn't sure about that.
"Are you going to do it or are you backing down now?" Angela's words snapped him out of his thoughts. "It's not too late to simply walk away."
"Yeah… I'm just…" Alphonse took a breath and shook his head. "I'll do it. I'm just taking a moment before I commit."
Angela didn't say anything else and simply stared at him. Alphonse felt an unspoken pressure in her gaze, urging him to make up his mind and either go now or fuck off.
He sighed and put a hand up against the door.
"You know, I'm still not sure what really happens when you look in the mirror." Alphonse remarked, taking a breath. "Reports aren't really written in a way that I could parse entirely. It changes people and…"
"Staring into the mirror, as I understand it," Angela cut in after he trailed off. "Is an experience that changes the user by showing them another version of themselves. We do not know if these other versions are visions from parallel worlds or if the Mirror of Adjustment conjures these images by itself. Those who face themselves in the mirror may appear the same, but they are noted to behave as different people for a certain period of time."
"I see. I hope I don't end up causing you too much trouble once I change like that." Alphonse noted and took his hand off the door.
"It is nothing I cannot handle." Angela said with absolute surety. The assurance put Alphonse at ease more than anything else.
He closed his eyes and breathed in one last time.
"Okay, I'm ready."
Before Alphonse could ask, the door opened on its own. Likely thanks to Angela. He nodded and took a couple steps forward, looking back at Angela and waving at her. "Catch you on the flipside."
Alphonse turned around and went further into the containment unit. The Mirror of Adjustment awaited him in a corner. Covered up by a heavy canvas after the workday was over, the anomalous object was waiting for him.
The man touched the mirror through the canvas, passing his fingers through the frame with a soft tough before grabbing the rough cloth and pulling it up.
A jet black surface came into view, so dark and opaque that Alphonse wasn't sure if it could even reflect anything. He took a couple steps back and stared at the mirror, feeling unsure of if anything would happen.
He held his breath when something did happen. He could see an image in the mirror, faint and out of focus. Alphonse squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look, but to no avail. As time passed, however, it became clearer. He saw a man. A man with a black dress shirt and a red cravat. The man wore a colorful sombrero and held a poncho over his arm. The figure stood with a relaxed posture, and Alphonse thought he was smiling, but he couldn't tell.
At least for a moment, he thought that was it, but… then he took a good look at the face of the man and it finally revealed itself to him.
Alphonse beheld himself in the mirror, and everything felt like it fell into place. All was good.
He blinked and he found himself seated. Loud mariachi music rang out, with all the proper screams and hollering laughter that marked it. The tune was familiar to him and the words that came out of the mariachis told him they were singing Las Mañanitas.
Alphonse was in a large room, seated in front of a table with an embroidered cloth. To the sides of the table were even more tables, forming a large square of them, where various people were seated. All of them wore ponchos and a fair number of them had moustaches that looked pasted onto their faces. The mariachi band stood at the center, and while they were not dressed in the classical black mariachi outfits and were instead in ponchos, they still played their heart out with glee.
He felt terribly out of place, he placed a hand on the table and prepared to move the chair so he could leave, but he saw someone approaching him from the side.
"J-jefe, your tacos. Just like you ordered them." the young man who approached him spoke with a meek voice before lifting up a plate and placing it in front of Alphonse.
Alphonse stared at the plate and he was about to say 'thank you', but he stopped himself when he saw what was on the plate. It made the sounds and sights bleed away as he took in what he'd been given.
Hard-shelled tacos, with ground meat, lettuce, onion, tomato and a heaping helping of cheese.
He tried to hold it in.
He failed.
The members of Los Mariachis stood by and stared at their boss with bated breath as the newbie, Panchito, delivered the meal they told him. They stood by and watched patiently, seeing as their boss took one look at the food and then…
"Pero que chingados es esta mierda!?" The boss finally screeched out loud, clearly heard even through the Mariachi's song. "Estos no son tacos, no me chinges con que lo son y traeme cinco de pastor, ahorita!"
Panchito ran away, taking the plate with him and the members who were presiding all nodded their heads in unison. The hazing ritual needed to be upheld, always.
Alphonse got his five tacos al pastor, surprisingly. He didn't know how just screaming like a madman in Spanish got the kid to walk away and come back with proper tacos, he didn't know that it would work and that he wouldn't get looked at funny for it, but it just felt… right. The situation felt like a fever dream and he wasn't sure how things worked, but they just did.
He found a good space to walk away from the party and moved to a room upstairs. He picked the one behind double doors and found himself in an office.
With little idea of what to do, he started snooping around, trying to find something to find his bearings. Who was he? He was in a position of authority, apparently, but over who? And where was he? He was out of the facility, although for how long, he didn't know. He was going to make the most of that and try to get his bearings.
Opening the cabinet, he stumbled into a leatherbound book that caught his eye. He grabbed it and turned it in his hands. No identifying marks of any kind.
Alphonse looked through the window behind the desk and he saw a very dark cityscape. Buildings upon buildings stretched out in all directions, they reminded him of some of the more cramped streets of Mexico City, the ones up on the hills and mountains. The building seemed to be located on one such hill, giving him a wide view of the city where he was.
However, one thing stood out, a massive wall beyond which a skyscraper stretched out high above the ground. Its features were hard to make out at night, but it was imposing in a way that demanded his attention.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection on the glass, faint and difficult to make out, but clearly and recognizably, he was himself.
He wrenched his sight from the cityscape and turned to look at the book. Alphonse pulled away the chair and sat down before opening the book and knowing instantly that he'd hit paydirt. It was written by none other than himself, the handwriting gave it away. The first page read…
To whoever finds this:
I have no way of knowing if you got this book through crook and hook or if I gave it away, but
you have in your hands a journal. I'll spare you the effort, there will be no vital information and
no records of my activities as the Jefe de Los Mariachis written down here, so burn or throw it
away if that's what you were looking for.
What I've decided to write here is my story, the story of someone from another world who found
himself in this damned City for reasons he didn't understand. I've chosen to write this hoping to
come to terms with my new life here, and maybe to be understood, if you decide to keep and
read this book.
Everything I've found out about the City sickens me to no end, as does the "It can't be helped"
stance its people have taken. I don't know if what I'll write here will actually matter to you, but I
hope that by reading some of it, you can know where I'm coming from when I say that
everything about it is wrong and that it should be burned to the fucking ground.
Sincerely,
Alphonse Quijana.
A knock on the door rang out and Alphonse closed the book. He felt at a loss as to what to do or say. Should he say he wanted to be alone? Or maybe…?
The choice was out of his hands for the moment, as the door opened and a woman in a poncho stepped in. She had short, white hair and clear blue eyes which stared at him impassively.
"Jefe." She said with a flat tone. "We've received a missive from the Thumb, Capo Giacomina will be attending the meeting as planned."
"I see." Alphonse said as he put down the book and leaned forward into the desk, trying to appear composed. "Are we prepared to receive them?"
"Our preparations will pass muster." The woman said with a curt nod.
"Good, good." Alphonse tented his fingers and covered his mouth.
The woman didn't say anything else and just stared at Alphonse, almost waiting for something. He wasn't sure what, but each second began mounting a certain sense of pressure.
Then she began to approach, a wary look in her eyes. Alphonse withered under the stare of the woman. She seemed to study him for a bit longer before she blinked.
"Alphonse?" She said as she shifted her arms under the poncho. "Are you the Jefe de Los Mariachis, or are you someone else?"
He flinched, and the woman let out a heavy breath right after.
"So it's happened again. This is a terrible time for you to have used the Mirror of Adjustment, manager."
Alphonse's eyes shot wide open. "Wait, what the fuck? How do you know? What do you mean again?"
"We can address that later. Right now, you need to understand that you are in grave danger, as you will be meeting with a Capo of the Thumb tomorrow. The situation is dire and you need to pay close attention, or you will die.
Alphonse shut his mouth and grimaced. He'd heard about the Thumb all of once, when Anastasia had mentioned losing a finger to someone from the Thumb. Whoever they were, they definitely were dangerous.
"Faust will be able to help you survive, as long as you listen carefully." The woman said. "Understood?"
Alphonse nodded.
"Good."
Chapter 51: I Can Quit Anytime ~ 4.2 ~
Chapter Text
"The Thumb is one of the five Fingers making up the Hand of the Backstreets." The white haired woman began, "their importance cannot be understated, but I am not aware of just how much knowledge you have accumulated and if it is not lost on you."
"If you know me, you should know I'm not an idiot. I can pick up context clues well enough." Alphonse scoffed, feeling slightly irritated at her words. "They are major Syndicates, aren't they? The biggest baddest ones around."
"That is an apt description." The woman added.
"Right, uh… Faust, is it?" Alphonse muttered, and the woman nodded, confirming her name to be that. "So how the hell did I end up attracting the attention of a major Syndicate?"
"It was only a matter of time. All legal and extralegal organizations in the City are beholden to higher powers." Faust supplied tonelessly. "Since you assumed control of Los Mariachis, you have expanded their reach and influence as a Syndicate enough that the Thumb has decided to bring us into their fold."
"What a dubious honor." Alphonse bristled slightly. "And how the hell did my counterpart here end up assuming control of a Syndicate in the first place? I wouldn't think he'd have the stomach."
"We're digressing." Faust cut in. "The Thumb adheres to values of propriety and rank in such a manner that their highly stratified hierarchy determines every aspect of social etiquette. Should you fail to meet their expectations, you will be punished with such severity that I do not trust you to keep your composure afterwards. A single misstep will likely result in the deaths of everyone in this building."
Alphonse listened intently to Faust, taking in the information. It wasn't exactly easy to hear that his life and those of a lot of people were on the line, but he wasn't particularly afraid. His time in the facility had either hardened him or inured him to the idea and he wasn't sure which it was.
He didn't know if dying while looking in the mirror would kill him or just send him back to the facility, but he wasn't about to chance it, much less when other people would die too.
"So how do I avoid faux passing my way into an early grave?" Alphonse asked, crossing his arms.
"By using a discreet earpiece, Faust may be able to relay instructions of the particulars." Faust said with a nod. "However, it will be for the best if we discuss the basics of etiquette with the Thumb to avoid encountering issues before such instructions can be given."
"I'm all ears." Alphonse remarked.
Faust nodded, then began her explanation.
Alphonse wasn't sure for how long Faust went on. It must have been an hour, or close to two. By the time they were finished, the party had finally wound down and stopped. He asked Faust to stay a while longer to actually answer the questions he had about how she knew about the mirror and his position. She refused to answer a single thing because it was late and they needed to be well rested for tomorrow.
As much as it chafed against him to see how she stonewalled him, he had to grant her that she had a point. He settled for asking where his room was and she led him there.
Alphonse felt at a loss. Just how long would it take for him to return to the facility? Faust seemed convinced that it'd take him long enough that he would have to deal with the situation with the Thumb himself, and she knew too much for him to dismiss her judgement out of hand.
One way or the other, however…
Alphonse slipped into the nightwear he found in the closet and turned off the lights while turning on the bedside lamp, he slipped under the covers and sighed as he opened the journal.
One way or the other, he wouldn't sleep before putting a few questions to rest, and he had just the thing to try doing so.
He began reading.
Normally the best place to start would be the beginning. I would start before that, though. I have
made no secret that I came to the City from another world, both in the start of this journal and to
the people I've been associated with. The reaction of most people when they hear about it has
been largely in the vein of "sucks to be you, buddy" and "meh". Stranger things have happened
in the City, and my case only conjures mild interest and apathy at large.
The world I came from has no such thing as the City. In place of Districts, we have nations, and in place of Wings, we have governments. Not everything is perfect there, but comparatively, it is a better place to be. I could speak at length about my world, about my country of Mexico and of its people and traditions, but that'd serve no purpose other than to remind me of what I've lost.
I was, to put it plainly, someone average and of little importance. That didn't matter to me; I was happy where I was. But the world had other plans for me…
Alphonse sighed. He found the whole thing pretty overwrought and melodramatic, but he also knew himself; he'd absolutely write the thing out to be like that.
He decided to skip ahead a bit to see if he could find something more important.
I don't wish to speak at length about my time finding my footing in the City. It was mostly luck that…
I saved up my meager salary to undergo enhancement procedures. The Backstreets were too…
I quickly learned that it was a dog eat dog world. Either they were going to kill me and take my money…
I can't forget how it felt to take a life for the first time. The sensation made me sick, but I knew it wouldn't…
He continued skimming through the contents of the first few pages, trying to push past the worrisome parts which spoke of his struggles to adjust and stopping only after finding something that caught his eye immediately.
I decided to bite the bullet and pay the protection money that Los Mariachis demanded. I had grown stronger, but I wasn't about to try taking on a Syndicate all by myself. Unfortunately for me, their leader, Aida, had other ideas.
When I went in to pay, she ordered her men to drag me inside their base. Aida hooted and hollered before drawing a pair of maracas and beating me with them. I felt my bones breaking and the pain that came with that as she danced around and beat me down. I remember asking her why she was doing that and her answer was just "because I felt like it."
I don't know how I managed to do it, but after hearing her answer, I managed to knock her down. One second she was beating me, the next I was straddling her and beating her face in with a brick. The rest of the Syndicate stopped cheering her on and instead just watched me cave in her skull and keep going after I was hitting the ground.
I blacked out after that and I thought that would be the end of me, but when I came to, I was in a bed, being tended to by the very Syndicate whose leader I murdered. Imagine my surprise when they started calling me "jefe". They said that my dance was one they'd never forget, the desperation, the righteous anger, all of it was sublime. I felt sick at their way of looking at my actions, but when they told me that they'd decided to make me their boss, I just decided to go along with it. It was more I could use to survive, but what I didn't know was that it'd also be more to worry about.
Alphonse let out a breath as he went over the words one more time. He never imagined himself doing any of what was written there, but he had to believe it. Did he write that to get someone to understand him, or was he actually just trying to assuage his guilty conscience? It was hard to say.
He continued reading a bit more, stumbling into another interesting passage.
I think that was the moment I gave up. I've learned that the City is a place where everyone punches down and beats whoever they can down over and over again. Everyone who is down on their luck is content with scraping by because all other choices have been stripped from them, and those who have a choice don't actually have one. There's always a bigger fish, always someone who can screw you over for no reason other than mere whimsy.
Los Mariachis as a Syndicate was run for the satisfaction of their members, extorting people for money and using it all on parties. I have not truly changed that much about them, but at the very least, protection money is being charged to actually provide some protection to the people paying it. I have made a choice to try to hold on to decency, but all I've managed is to hold on to scraps of it.
Alphonse closed the book and laid it down on the table, turning off the lights right after. It was just depressing to see to what point he had been brought down to.
He had better things to do than stew in misery, so he closed his eyes and decided to just see how things would play out tomorrow.
He could say a lot of things about Los Mariachis, but if there was something he'd grant them it would be that they were efficient when they wanted to. The entire group started cleaning up what was left after the party and prepared to receive the Thumb.
Faust, as it turned out, was his second in command. She organized the efforts with practiced ease; in the span of a few minutes, the floors were swept clean, tablecloths were replaced, plates were sent to the kitchen and the hall was sprayed with air freshener. Within the hour, tables were fully set with napkins, plates and trays filled with salsa, radishes, lemons and other foodstuffs, the trompos were set with pork for the tacos and pineapple speared through the top.
Their reception of the Thumb would be a 'party' in and of itself, all expenses paid by Los Mariachis. They'd forgo the music and most of the rowdiness that they'd used to display, and instead would just be offering a meal to them. Nice and simple, he hoped.
"Testing, testing." Faust's flat tone rang through his ear as she tested the earpiece sitting snugly in Alphonse's ear. Alphonse raised a thumb and nodded towards her from the other end of the room.
Seemingly satisfied, Faust spoke into a radio and after a moment, she spoke again. "They'll be arriving soon, organize everyone."
Alphonse nodded and started clapping his hands loudly, calling attention to himself. "Alright people, form up in the middle, they'll be here any second and I don't want anyone on the shitter while we're receiving them."
"Jefe, I know it's a bit late to ask this, but are you sure about this?" One of the members asked, raising his hand as he did. "It feels like walking the knife's edge and not in a good way."
"Listen, we are either receiving them cordially or not at all, and do you know how it's gonna go for us if we pick the latter?" Alphonse asked, crossing his arms. When no answer was forthcoming, he added. "Yeah, that's what I thought, now places, cabrones!"
Everyone got into place and formed up, including Faust, who hid behind a taller Mariachi and nodded towards him.
Alphonse faced the door, taking deep breaths to steady himself. Any second now, he'd put his life in the line and see for himself what the Thumb was like. He wasn't prepared, but ever since he found himself in the facility, when was he ever?
Same shit, different anus.
Slowly, the double doors of the building opened wide, and the two men who'd been posted outside slid inside and held the doors open, their heads lowered in respect. Everyone present looked at the floor while Alphonse maintained his gaze as he saw the men marching inside. Everyone wore the same general ensemble; black suits with black shirts and black ties with red, gold-lined coats worn over their shoulders like capes. The vast majority of the people there held rifles with bayonets as they marched in. The sole exception was the man in front, who could only be the Capo.
He was a young man, somewhere around his mid twenties if he had to guess. His face was soft, but with clearly defined features, his hair was blond, styled into curls and his eyes were a clear blue. His stare betrayed no emotion as he looked at Alphonse, and he felt like he was going to falter from the intensity.
But he held fast and waited until they finished marching before grabbing his sombrero and bowing as he held it up to his stomach.
"We welcome you to our humble home, Capo Giacomina." Alphonse greeted, his head lowered as to avoid eye contact. "We are honored by your presence here today."
"Hail, friend. Raise your head. I would greet you as a friend, and not as my lesser."
Alphonse let out a brief gasp as he raised his head to look at the Capo, Though his expression was still severe, there was a hint of a smile in it.
"Follow his lead." Faust instructed. "Act as his equal."
Alphonse was thrown off, but he took a moment behind his sombrero before putting it on and raising his arms to his sides.
"Then welcome, friend!" He raised his voice and gave a grin. "We've prepared food and drinks to welcome you here. Come take a seat and let's speak of our partnership."
The Capo's smile widened a fraction. That was, before one of the men with rifles spoke up.
"This isn't a partnership, you bottom feeder. The Thumb will—"
Alphonse flinched back as another rifleman approached the other man and immediately struck his jaw with the butt of his rifle, The impact resounded across the room, along with the sickening sound of flesh ripping.
He fought to keep himself steady as he felt something up on his foot. He took a shallow, quick breath as he stared down and saw the man's lower jaw against it. Alphonse couldn't help but let out a brief shriek as he saw it and took a step back.
"Remain calm." Faust called out through the earpiece, but Alphonse was having a difficult time doing so as he stared back at the man whose jaw was taken off bleeding into the floor and struggling to stand upright. "Remain calm."
Before Alphonse could continue to even think anything, the man who took off the other's jaw lowered his head.
"My deepest apologies, Capo. I will take my hand off for striking the boss of Los Mariachis. I should have been more careful in delivering punishment to my comrade for speaking out of turn."
As he moved his rifle, the Capo raised a hand, frowning as he stared at both men.
"Outside, both of you. Let us not bleed all over our hosts' abode." Giacomina said and lowered his hand.
"Understood, Capo." The man said, then began moving back towards the door, while the one whose jaw was removed staggered back, making throaty sounds as he did.
Giacomina stepped forward, Alphonse took a step back, but couldn't get far. He felt himself being seized by dread as the Capo continued taking steps towards him until they were face to face. The Capo raised a hand and placed it on Alphonse's shoulder, making him tense up further.
"My apologies." Giacomina said slowly and with a slight rumble to his voice. "My subordinates do not… Understand my vision and my reasons for affording you such a generous treatment. It will not happen again."
Alphonse was taking short, shallow breaths, not able to shake off the sense of impending doom felt deep in his chest.
"Now, I understand there would be tacos?" Giacomina said with a small smile.
Insane. These people were all insane.
"Yes." Alphonse said with a heavy breath as he looked aside. "Yes, there are tacos."
But he could handle it, he could continue and live to see another day.
"Please, take a seat." Alphonse said as he turned around and gestured at an open seat in the table. "Josue, start serving the tacos."
He just had to keep pretending that everything was okay the way it was. He just had to keep up the lie that he could handle things. Right now, nothing else mattered.
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