Work Text:
Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Roman’s hands are tight across his chest, holding him back. But all Dean can see is red. Frothing at the mouth, incensed.
He lunges across the space shouting, “you stay the fuck away from us!”
Drew smirks in response. “Aww don’t be that way, fair is fair huh?” Referring to their earlier match where they lost. Which wouldn’t have bothered Dean previously, but the last few weeks have been compounding on themselves until this one moment in time.
Weird looks in passing, extra aggression in the ring not easily explained, a strange pass that Dean didn’t dare tell Roman or Seth about, all leading to what was said tonight.
Seth must have somehow sensed that Dean was close to a breaking point. “Shut the hell up McIntyre.” Seth sneers.
It’s the weird glint in Drew’s eyes. The glint of satisfaction. Like he had already won, and Dean had already lost this game he didn’t even want to play to begin with.
Dean lashes out again, elbowing Roman in the ribs, finally allowing him to leap free, enraged.
He doesn’t get very far. Drew had simply stepped back a few steps, far enough away that Seth was able to snag Dean’s arm harshly. The harsh tug is enough to send a jolt straight through his arm to his fragile triceps. The pain causes him to lash out unintentionally, shoving the offender away. Seth stumbles back in shock.
Drew starts laughing.
“You fucking basta- “
“Oh no you don’t, fucking settle Dean,” Roman is back to grabbing him but this time Roman’s thick forearm squishes against his neck. White noise permeates his hearing, as spots begin to appear in his vision.
It’s enough to get him to settle back to the present. When he comes to, he’s on his ass with Roman in his face screaming.
“Dean? DEAN!”
Roman’s angry face, and Seth’s wary one is the only two in the hallway. Drew was nowhere to be seen.
He scrubs a hand down his sweaty face, doing his best to hide the shakes. He must not do a good job, however, because as soon as Roman pulls him up the twenty questions start up.
“What the hell was that?”
Dean shrugs in response. His eyes find Seth’s again since he’s been silent throughout this. Dean internally winces. He hadn’t meant to shove him that hard, but his flight or fight had kicked in and he had freaked. He honestly didn’t have any real excuse as to why without revealing what had been happening the last few weeks.
The “I’m sorry” gets stuck on his lips.
“What’s going on with you, huh? You totally freaked out there. What’d he say to you?” Roman’s voice had softened from his earlier angry tone, obviously trying to make amends with him. Almost like he was walking on eggshells. It fucking sucked because all it seemed like since he came back was Roman and Seth walking on eggshells around him like he might break and honestly, he couldn’t really blame them either.
However, Dean had managed this far, and he was not about to tell them about any of it now. He didn’t want to admit it but the constant talk of the ‘weak link’ was slowly starting to eat away at his brain, settling deep in the recesses and anchoring on. He didn’t want either man to go rushing in playing white knight giving them more reason to believe he was the weaker of the bunch. Oh, hell fucking no.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Bull fucking shit you are. That whole act was not fine- “
“Roman,” Seth finally interjects settling a hand on Roman’s heated shoulder. “Just...” Seth sighs, a noise that immediately makes Dean flinch. “I don’t want to fight...I’m too tired let’s just go home.”
Disappointment. Dean had gotten really good over his lifetime at detecting it. It seems like all he did was cause either man disappointment since returning. It tears at his heart, like a thousand knives working their way inside of him.
Dean grits his teeth against the feeling swirling inside himself. He averts his eyes from their faces. “Whatever, I’m gonna go stop at the bar or something. Don’t wait up for me.”
Shouts of his name follow him down the corridor but neither man is immediately rushing after him either. Letting Dean know they need as much of a break from him as he does from them currently. He slinks off into the shadows, taking random turns until he finds himself hitting a dead-end hallway.
He paces a few moments before leaning his head against the cold brick wall, the words whispered to him earlier ringing in his head.
Heat pools low in his stomach. Nausea threatening to break free and pulse to the surface. The roar of the crowd is so deafening it almost makes Dean want to slap his hands over his ears to drown out the noise, maybe close his eyes tight against what’s currently happening.
This can’t be happening.
“Tick tock Ambrose, what’s it gonna be?”
Dean flinches. Breathing erratically through a clenched mouth. He should have known this wasn’t over with. Drew had left all too peacefully during their earlier confrontation.
Drew McIntyre was currently leaning against the concrete wall, successfully blocking his path. Why the hell he even went down a dead-end hallway Dean doesn’t even know. His emotions had gotten the best of him again, anger boiling quick in his gut until he felt like exploding. The all-too-familiar feelings began to choke the life out of him, enraged at everything and nothing at the same time. Dean didn’t know which way was up or down anymore, everything in his head feeling just this side of screwed too tightly. After coming back from a life-threatening injury Dean thought he’d be happy. He’d be on the road with his boys again, doing what he loves being with who he loves but his mind was a dangerous playground. Struck with morbid and morose thoughts that bordered on violent some days and suicidal the next Dean felt like he was spiraling while everyone around him put on a bright smile and acted like everything was okay.
The cold hand that touches his shoulder had him jumping immediately, a low growl in his throat, “don’t fucking touch me!”
Drew pursed his lips a smirk adorning his face. “Did you ever think maybe this anger is the reason why your boys find you useless to begin with huh?”
Dean swung blindly, a red-hot rage enveloping him, but Drew expected it. He grabbed his outstretched arm and over-powered him way too easily for his liking. Shoving him against the wall until a painful gasp fell from his lips. Drew’s other hand came up and tightened painfully across his throat.
“You have one day Ambrose.” Drew whispered menacingly. “Or I spill the beans. What do you think your boys would think of you then?”
Dean swallowed painfully, choking when Drew eventually let him go. He fell to a knee, ragged gasps sliding past his reddened throat.
The only answer to Drew’s demand was his screams, echoing off the concrete surrounding them.
“Where’d you go?” Seth asks him when he finally manages to slide into bed. A good two hours after Seth and Roman turned in for the night.
He can tell due to how warm the bed is in comparison with the chilly room. He knows running off like he did likely pissed off Roman, Seth is typically the one more lenient and understanding if Dean fucks off to somewhere because everything becomes too much. Seth got so good at reading him based on their time in FCW sometimes it was downright scary. Roman had a much more difficult time understanding it compared to just accepting it. God, he loves Roman to death but sometimes he and him were just too similar in mindset and stubbornness for their own good. So, Dean often found it easier to grovel at Seth’s feet first.
Dean sighs, burying his face into the arm that Seth offers him. Warm and comfortable. “The bar.”
It was a non-committal, total lie of an answer that he knew Seth immediately saw through. He can feel the sigh that Seth lets out, warm across his neck. Instead of an immediate answer or retort Seth simply lays a kiss across his temple and settles back into sleep.
It takes a while for Dean to finally settle. Muscles tense, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead and roll down across his face stinging his eyes. Seth’s arm a solid weight of dread settling across his stomach. Drew’s words continue to ring loudly in his head. One day. ONE DAY. Dean stifles the sob that wants to come out by placing his fist into his mouth.
What do you think your boys would think of you then?
Dean didn’t know what his boys thought of him now most days. It was almost like he could feel the disappointment leeching off them when he was around. Disappointment that Dean came back just this side of wrong. That Dean wasn’t bouncing off the walls happy like he used to be. Something was obviously missing.
Then sometimes his mind would clear, and he’d remind himself that those thoughts weren’t true. Not in the way Roman and Seth acted or in the way they spoke to him. That mindset he often found himself in wouldn’t do him any good. He was so twisted around most days he couldn’t understand up from down.
One day.
ONE DAY.
ONE DAY.
Choking until he’s sliding from Seth’s warm grasp, he rushes to the bathroom throwing the lock and begins to empty everything into the toilet.
ONE DAY.
What the fuck was he supposed to do? The Dean of old would have told Drew to go screw himself with a flip of the bird. But the Dean of old felt like a completely different person to now. His current tentative grasp on sanity was swinging precariously on the edge with Drew’s manic smirk pushing him closer and closer to that edge, hoping he’d tumble off all together. He was barely keeping it together, putting on a façade and acting like every day he woke up and took another breath wasn’t some cruel punishment from God.
“Dean?” Roman asks softly, tentatively knocking.
Dean wiped the sweat from his forehead with a shaky hand. “Be right out.”
He ran some water and used it to wipe his face; hoping to make himself look a little more alive. But the dark circles that hung underneath haunted eyes gave him away. Every damn time.
He unlocked the door and opened it with a soft click. Roman is standing to the side, a concerned look on his face. Seth is now sitting up in bed as well, lamp lighting up his face enough that Dean can see him also looking on concerned.
Well shit.
“You, okay?” Roman is the first to ask. Dean shrugged off the concern. “I think I ate something bad.”
Before either man can argue Dean faceplants in the middle of the bed, displacing Seth who has to catch himself before he rolls off.
“Hey jackass!” That earned him a rough shove, but Dean doesn’t respond to it. Preferring to breathe in the scent of his boys while he has it.
Before he screws everything up like he always does.
Roman settled down next to him, hand hovering uncertainly before eventually settling on the back of his neck. It felt so good. Felt so normal in that moment.
Seth turned off the light, settling down in bed twisting until he’s comfortable. Dean, hoping to settle their nerves pulled away from the pillow enough to mumble out a, “I love you both.”
Satisfied with his answer, Roman sighed, hand squeezing Dean’s clammy neck. “I love you too.” Rumbled smoothly next to his ear. Dean almost lulled himself into normalcy, his two boys surrounding him, warm and safe. God, he missed this feeling so much. He doesn’t want to ever give it up again.
ONE DAY.
One day has now turned into less than 3 hours to go.
Seth and Roman were busy changing getting themselves ready for the match.
Dean scratches his collarbone when he thinks they aren’t looking.
Lies to their faces with a smile when he tells them he’ll see them after the match. Acts as if everything is normal when everything is falling apart in reality.
Goes to the ring, heart pounding against his ribcage knowing he is going to complete the biggest betrayal he ever could with their relationship.
Anxiety and nerves crawl up his throat the entire time. He can feel Drew’s eyes lock onto him as he leans against the ropes, intensely staring.
Filled with jittery nervousness Seth’s arm pushing against his stomach, muttering “I’ll take this one” calms him down enough that he’s able to begin to think a little clearer.
It’s just a wrestling match.
But it was so much more than that. Everything was at stake and on the line.
As the match wears on Dean knows he eventually must get inside the ring with Drew. It was inevitable. He didn’t want to give anything away to his boys by refusing to take a tag, so he simply sucks it up and does it.
Does it until the very end when a claymore is hitting him so fast, he starts to see stars, Drew pushing into his personal space with a whispered, “see ya tonight.”
Neither Seth nor Roman checked on him immediately. Almost like they know. Dean hangs on the ropes, utterly exhausted, tired of everything and simply done with it all.
Rolling out of the ring he grits his teeth and refuses to look back at leaving Seth and Roman by themselves.
The door closing behind him sounds so loud in his ears. The final nail in the coffin.
“Well?” Drew simply asks.
“What do you want?” Is the only answer Dean has for him.
Drew simply stands and stares at him for a moment, eyes sliding up and down, intent clear.
“It was a nice show you did, leaving your boys in the ring like that. I heard they were tearing up the back looking for you. Are you sure they didn’t follow you here?”
Dean grits his teeth and refuses to say anything.
Drew walks closer, stalks him like prey. He must remind himself to stay calm when his hands slide over his sweaty shoulder, digging into the meat of his triceps hard enough to earn a grimace of pain on his face.
“What do you want?” Dean asks again, impatient, knowing the clock is ticking and more time is being passed between himself and his boys the longer his shaky legs remain standing here in this hotel room.
“Strip. Put your ass up on that bed and be back here again tomorrow night. Maybe if you do a good enough job, I can ask some of my friends to join in on the fun, you’d like that huh, since you’re big into threesomes.”
“Fuck you.” Dean snarls, hand already going to his belt to begin to unbuckle it. “I fucking hate you.”
“Cute.” Drew grins. “Maybe we can put that growling to some good use, gonna be a good bitch for me?” Drew laughs at his own joke, the laugh crowding around in his ears until Dean is certain they bleed.
The kiss comes from out of nowhere. Forceful enough that it knocks Dean back into the wall. His mind is screaming wrongwrongwrong, the moan that gets ripped from his mouth is one of pure terror, but Drew doesn’t seem to care, Dean can feel his erection through the light sweats he had dressed in. Dean was still dressed in his sweaty shield gear; his heart was doing flips at thinking of Drew’s hands touching it.
Drew pulls away, bumping his forehead against Dean who simply tries not to puke all over himself.
“You got ten seconds to get your naked ass on the bed, or I start biting and I don’t think you can easily explain that away, now, can you?”
Shame eats away at him. Sheer stubbornness alone is what makes him refuse to move. His belt was still hanging open lewdly from when his hands had mechanically went to it.
Drew studies him for a few minutes. “Stubborn asshole huh? Need a little more motivation?”
Dean clenches his fists against his thighs in response. “Fuck you.”
Before Dean could even put his hands up Drew pushed into his space in two long strides. His hands immediately fly up to where Drew squeezes his neck. Choking noises fly out in a panic, black spots dancing in his vision.
The world turns into a thick blob, his head feeling like it was ready to pop off altogether.
“Remember your dirty little secret, ya slut.” Drew sneered cruelly, eventually letting up on his hands.
Dean sucked in a lungful of air, coughing as he slid down the wall. Drew didn’t let up his hateful tirade however, each piercing word hitting him straight in the gut.
“Letting Regal fuck you on the side, even when you started a relationship with your two fuck buddies...I wonder how Seth and Roman would take it huh? I wonder how management would take it knowing you were fucking someone in upper management while your dream team kept getting opportunity after opportunity.”
Dean’s hands find the carpet, rough and nondescript. He lays his head down against it feeling sick to his stomach.
“Bet it burns you up real good huh? In knowing you had something good and like always you had to ruin it.”
“Shut up.”
“How’d it feel taking three cocks in one night huh? Did Roman and Seth ever wonder how easy it was to fuck your ass since you were so busy taking it up from another man?”
“SHUT UP!” Dean screams, covering his ears with his hands against the words. All stinging pointed and true. He pounds the ground harshly, pushing himself up. Drew is simply standing there, amused by his reaction.
“What do you want?” Dean asks again, wrecked.
“I want the satisfaction of knowing that you’ll fall apart like you always do and go back to the only thing you’re fucking good at which is servicing cock.”
Dean flinches despite himself. Having no rebuttal for the truth. Similar words to what Regal used to use against him. He slowly began to break away once he did start a relationship with Seth and Roman because he learned how wrong his prior relationship was with Regal, but the man still had his clutches into him far longer than he wanted him too.
It became like a sick drug. Continuing to go back to him to seek out degradation and humiliation, his mind so twisted up during that time he didn’t know up from down. He thought he had escaped it. He put it behind him and never really looked back. Never really had to confront it considering Regal stayed in NXT and he went to the main roster with his boys.
He should have known his dirty little secret would come out eventually, but he didn’t know it’d come back with interest.
With a quivering sigh Dean’s hands went straight back to his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down. Disrobing himself of his boots, his shirt and eventually his boxers.
“Get your ass on the bed.” Drew panted, hand already stroking his cock in his sweats.
The few steps to the bed seemed painful, like walking on broken glass. His knees hit the soft mattress and he found himself robotically going with the motions, finding the positions he would always find himself in.
“Do I even get lube?” Dean whispered.
When Drew touched him again, Dean could feel his clothes were removed as well. Drew’s hand skated over his shaking back, sliding past his neck to rub over his lips.
Fingers slipped past, gagging him momentarily. “Suck em’ good if you want a reward.”
Exhaustion eats away at every pore of Dean’s soul when he manages to make it back to the hotel room they were sharing. It was around 4am and Dean wasn’t even sure how he was able to tell the cab driver enough information to get him where he was going. Pain travels through all his joints. A deep-seated ache that he can’t even begin to scrub clean. Drew at least spared him mercy by allowing him to shower. If you even want to call that mercy at this point.
With his hand shaking, Dean scans the card and is rewarded with the green light buzzing.
It’s dead silent in the room. Lights all turned off. For a fearful few seconds Dean thinks Seth and Roman are gone. Except once his eyes focus on the darkness, he can see a lump sleeping on the bed. He breathes a quick sigh of relief and manages to slip out of his shoes before he finally notices he’s not the only one up at this hour.
Dean freezes at noticing Seth sitting up in bed. Eyes finding his in the blackness. He holds his breath for a few seconds. “I’m sorry.” He whispers, unsure of what else to even say.
“Sorry?” Seth whispers back hotly.
Dean flinches. The anger is clearly thrumming in Seth, waiting to be released. “I can get another room if ya want?”
“Dean...fuck man.”
That clearly wasn’t the answer Seth was wanting because he immediately gets out of bed, being careful not to wake the lump next to him which turns out to be Roman. He marches up to where Dean is still frozen in the same spot and grabs his wrist, dragging him to the bathroom.
He has a few seconds to adjust before Seth is flipping the light on. Their eyes lock together before Seth breaks down completely.
“You fucking asshole.”
Dean’s eyes find the floor in shame.
“Fucking – I can’t” Seth shakily clenches his sweaty shield shirt in his hands, eyes red rimmed as if he’s been crying all night. Dean slumps against the sink.
“I wish I could just fucking hate you.”
“Seth...” Dean whispers, heartbroken. His hands shakily mapped across Seth’s warm skin.
“I never could, fuck. I love you so much. Roman told me what’s been happening, but I didn’t fucking believe it. I got angry at him,” Seth gave a deprecating chuckle, releasing his grip on Dean’s shirt only to travel to his neck where Dean fucking knows there’s angry red marks from Drew choking him earlier. If there was one request Dean had was for Drew to only leave marks that could be hidden and surprisingly the man obliged.
“He yelled at me. Said I loved you more than him and I never could see sense when it came to you. He went to bed angry as shit with me, with you.”
Dean swallowed. “Seth I’m-”
The slap is unexpected. It rings loudly in the small bathroom and sends Dean’s head back. It’s not hard enough to leave blood but it’s certainly hard enough to leave his cheek stinging red.
“Don’t say I’m sorry. Just tell me it’s not true.”
Dean wants to tell him. So desperately that it wasn’t fucking true. It was fucking rape. He wanted to shout it to him snidely. He may have made that mistake earlier on, but he wouldn’t dare do it now. Not after everything.
Instead, he settles for collapsing his exhausted body into Seth’s warm one. He expects to be shoved off, but Seth simply squeezes him tightly, laying light kisses across the red marks. “We’ll figure this out, okay. It’ll all be alright.”
Dean sighs, body and mind beginning to shut down at Seth’s words. “How?” He sleepily mumbles. He wanted to believe that it was true. But he wasn’t sure how that could be when his ass was booked for tomorrow night at the same time.
“Because I know you. I know you’re not telling us something and I’m going to figure it out.”
“What about Roman?” Dean asks hesitantly.
“Roman fucking loves you Dean. We both do. I had to give him some sleeping pills because he was so anxious and worried about where you were. He’s angry right now but he’ll be happy to see you in the morning, let’s try and get some sleep then huh?”
Dean didn’t fucking deserve either one of them. Not after everything he’s done.
He follows Seth out of the bathroom, eyes feeling suspiciously swollen. He slides in their warm bed and buries his head against Roman’s back hoping to forget everything for just a little while.
Dean blinks awake around 10 am to the sun piercing in through the blinds.
“Morning sleepy head.”
“Roman...” Dean rubs at his eyes, still feeling them stinging with grit and emotion he didn’t quite dislodge from last night. Roman’s face comes into focus more clearly.
Roman was simply staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Dean felt slight panic at realizing that Seth was absent. It was one thing to bare his soul in front of Seth, but Dean always hated doing it in front of Roman. Feeling vulnerable in front of him was something Dean just wasn’t entirely comfortable with. He felt like in FCW Seth saw all the ugly parts of him that he could offer, and he didn’t want Roman to see him as tarnished or broken.
“Relax baby boy...relax.” Roman soothed, hand coming up to smooth against his skin.
“I-” Dean doesn’t even get the chance to get the immediate response of “I’m sorry” out. Roman leans in and eats up his response with a kiss. The gentleness with which he did so contrasting harshly with the nightmare of last night left Dean choking out a sob. His hand found Roman’s hair and gripped it harshly, never wanting to let him go.
After a few seconds Roman pulls away and leans his forehead against Dean’s. A direct reversal of last night.
“I love you.”
Confused, “I love you too but aren’t you mad?”
“I understand.” Roman simply says in response leaving Dean even more confused.
Dean watches Roman stand up out of bed and stretch with a grunt. Immediately going to the coffee machine in the room and setting it up. It all seemed so normal that it left Dean uneasy. He watched him for a few minutes hoping Roman would elaborate but the man was stubbornly silent.
“Where’s Seth?” Dean asked, in order to distract himself.
“Out to get some breakfast. Here.”
A cup of hot coffee was thrust in his face which Dean accepted gratefully. He took a few seconds to simply enjoy the warmth spreading throughout his body before he decided to bring it up again. “Last night.”
“Last night.” Roman repeats, sitting at the small table the hotel had.
“I’m sorry for bailing. I just-” was getting blackmailed into performing sexual acts with a fucking monster “needed some space for a little bit. I’m sorry I worried you both.”
Roman took a long sip of coffee. “I know, Seth told me. I’m not mad with you.”
Dean breathed a small sigh of relief, but Roman’s awkward, short responses still left him on edge most of the morning.
When Seth came back the awkward tension was mostly gone from the room. He sat down at the table with Roman and browsed his phone while eating his breakfast. Completely normal behavior.
Dean simply tried to make himself as small and inconvenient as possible. But judging by the way he felt Roman and Seth’s eyes on him at every turn he was doing a fucking terrible job at it.
He changed out of his old clothes in the bathroom, inspecting his body in the mirror. Ugly, deep bruises beginning to purple at his hips, scratches and bite marks marred his chest and finger shaped indents could be clearly seen decorating his neck.
He fingered them with a shaky hand, leaning against the sink counter trying his best not to pass out. When it was time to head to their house show they had he simply left his clothes in the bathroom, unwilling to even take them with him again.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay tonight?” Seth whispered to him right before they were heading out to the ring.
Dean wanted to just break down and tell the man everything. The more the clock inched its way to midnight the more wound-up Dean became. It was obvious to both Seth and Roman something was clearly wrong, maybe more so to Seth than Roman since Roman was still sort of giving him the cold shoulder treatment, but Dean stubbornly refused to give anything away. It was already shitty enough to have to explain to both men the marks on his neck were from a bar fight. It was a good enough lie that Seth and Roman believed him at face value but obviously not entirely. Dean could see the way Roman’s mouth curled up, obviously wanting to argue since number one Dean wasn’t drunk when he came home that night and number two didn’t have a hangover in the morning but Roman remained silent.
He simply smoothed his large hands against the marks making Dean shiver as he kissed them, like what Seth had done previously and whispered, “I hope the other guy had it worse.”
The words seemed pointed, harping back to what Seth was terrified of in their bathroom encounter. Dean once again just wanted to break down to both men. Come clean and explain himself, not wanting either man to think he’s been unfaithful.
But didn’t he? His mind would cruelly taunt instead making him lose the gumption. He was unfaithful in the beginning. Even if previously, he convinced himself that he was simply in an emotionally abusive relationship. That was just an excuse. An excuse he didn’t think Roman and Seth would accept and that was early in their relationship. The baby stages where Dean was surly, difficult, and made it almost impossible for both men to even attempt to have a relationship with him. He constantly caused fights with Roman and forced Seth to play peacemaker.
In his heart, he believed he was the reason for the eventual break up. Even if it was in storyline. Even if Seth constantly reassured him throughout that this was all story.
During that time, he got closer to Roman. They formed a deeper relationship that just made their partnership with Seth even stronger. Dean finally felt like he was settling into something he deserved.
Then his injury happened. The trauma associated with that left him spiraling back to his earlier days in their relationship where he made it incredibly difficult for anyone to be near him or want to love him back and he doesn’t really think his boys recovered from it.
It’s why he kept his mouth shut and lied to Seth’s face and said, “of course.”
It’s why he started another argument with Roman over their match that they lost to Drew, Dolph and Braun.
Dean took the pin, but it was only because of a missed spear that Roman gave him which was intended for Dolph. It was an accident, Dean knew that, but this gave him the opportunity to push his boys away before they discovered the truth.
Roman’s very angry, emotional “if you walk out that door don’t you fucking come back tonight” hitting Dean straight in the heart like an arrow.
Seth’s emotional “why” digging the arrow even further.
I’m sorry I love you both. I don’t want to hurt you even worse.
He found himself in another non-descript hotel room. Struggling to take off his clothes as Drew watched.
“What’s wrong Ambrose, ya seem sadder tonight. Did that spear from your boy hurt ya?”
“Shut up.” Dean grit out in response.
Drew was laying on the bed, hand already vigorously stroking himself as he watched the preemptive strip show.
Dean was fumbling with his boots, hands a shaking mess that he didn’t even register the hotel door opening and closing.
“Glad ya can make it Bobby.”
Dean froze in his ministrations. Turning around to where Drew was staring. His heart leapt out of his throat at seeing Bobby Lashley standing in the doorway.
“What the hell is this?” Dean barked out, turning to Drew.
Drew gave him a maddening smile. “Hey, you know our deal. I can do whatever I want as many times as I want and let me tell ya...” Drew stood up, stretching to his full height as stalked around Dean like a shark in water. “The whole roster is dying to see what this threesome business is like.”
“Isn’t that right Bobby?”
Dean felt frozen in place. His heart beating loudly in his chest to the point it was all he could hear that he almost missed the response from Bobby.
“Hell, yeah, we do. I gotta say though Drew when you told me I could join in on a threesome with a shield asshole I was hoping it was Seth.”
Dean growled low in his throat. “You don’t get to fucking touch him.”
“But...” Bobby also stalked forward. Two bloodthirsty sharks cornered him in. This was all wrong. So, fucking wrong.
“When you told me how sweet his ass was? How he’d let me do anything to him, how could I pass that opportunity up?”
It was then that Dean noticed Bobby was carrying a bookbag. His eyes, lifeless, hovered until he was staring at Drew again. Resigned to his fate.
“Ass on the bed Ambrose. I think tonight’s gonna be fun, don’t you?”
Despite how hard he fucking tried, a lone tear escaped sliding down his cheek until Drew was leaning in and licking it away with a laugh.
The only noise that could be heard in the back was the angry roar of one Roman Reigns as he desperately searched for one person.
“Where the hell is he?” Roman demanded, Seth hot on his heels, both searching for one person and one person only.
Dolph fucking Ziggler.
Every face they passed simply shrugged or stared in fear at the anger brimming underneath Roman’s eyes.
After he had time to cool down from their earlier confrontation, a sickness crept its way into his gut at realizing the awful words he said to his boy. But fuck he was just so God damn angry at him.
His mind was telling him one thing, but his heart was telling him another. It wasn’t until Seth finally broke down to him talking about what happened in the bathroom last night and how out of his mind worried, he was that something bad was happening that Roman finally let his heart win out. He knew there was something just plain off with Dean. Has been since he returned from injury.
They both knew that the injury with the multiple surgeries and MRSA infection deeply traumatized their boy. But selfishly they both were so happy to simply have him back that their happiness clouded the fact that their boy was not mentally well.
Roman felt a deep sense of guilt and regret at not catching it sooner. He was their protector always had been and always would be. He took care of them both and prided himself in doing so. But sometimes when Dean got in his mood and intentionally tried to rile him up, he’d let it happen even though he knew deep down it was simply just a cry for help. He ignored and took the bait, and he would NEVER truly forgive himself for that.
“I think he’s down here Roman!”
Seth’s shout snapped Roman out of his guilt. He marched down the hallway to meet his other boy at the locker room that he knew was shared by Dolph and Drew.
Chatter could be heard from behind the door, too high pitched and American sounding to be Drew.
Roman kicked in the door which startled Dolph straight off the bench, his phone flying out of his hands.
“Wha-” Was the only words that managed to make it out of Dolph’s mouth before Seth was hauling him up and slamming him into the lockers with a loud rattle.
“Where’s Dean?”
“What the hell? Hey securi-”
Dolph words got choked out by Seth’s forearm settling across his throat. Dolph desperately tried to dislodge the man and maybe could have under different circumstances, but Seth was incensed. He knew something was deeply wrong last night, but he was too much of a chicken shit to confront Dean on it. He knew he should have called off the match at the house show. Feigned illness or injury or whatever because Dean was not okay despite his attempts at lying.
It only became further evident in the match itself. Seth watched him like a hawk and finally made the connection that anytime he was in the ring with Drew or anywhere near Drew he was terrified. Seth could read it in his body language, the way he always wanted to quickly get through a sequence and tag out.
He wanted to confront Dean right after, but the ending sequence went disastrously for them. Miscommunication on their part had them staring up at the lights in defeat. As soon as their bodies made it through the back Dean was onto picking a fight with Roman.
Angry words and tears resulted in a blowup that left Dean storming out and Roman angrily slamming his knuckles into the nearest locker.
Once Roman had settled down enough Seth’s stomach had eaten itself with guilt over letting Dean walk out. He felt ashamed of letting him go knowing this was not what they both previously assumed. Felt fucking guilty for even thinking it because Dean was always loyal, always faithful and loved with too much of himself sometimes that he wound up getting hurt in the process.
He finally told Roman that something was deeply wrong. He hid their exchange when Dean got home last night. Allowed Dean to tell his lie about getting in a fight at the bar. Despite knowing that wasn’t fucking true at all. He wanted to try and figure out what was going on, but he knew it was wrong to hide it from his other partner, but old habits would always die hard when it came to Dean. He and Dean were an on again off again item first back in FCW. He knew the man inside and out, got to bear witness to some of Dean’s lowest points so he would always be aggressive in trying to protect him, even from Roman. Roman loved them both fiercely and loyally but often didn’t know how to handle Dean or his eccentric nature but by God Roman loved every single odd quirk about him.
If he couldn’t hunt down Drew and demand answers, then his tag partner was the next best thing.
“Seth is going to let you go and I expect fucking answers.” Roman coolly demanded.
Dolph simply nodded fearfully.
“Good, now fucking talk.”
Seth pulled off his forearm but still maintained holding Dolph against the lockers. The smaller man simply breathed for a few seconds, clearing his throat before his raspy voice was shaking while spilling the beans.
“I-I don’t know where Dean is, okay, but I know the hotel Drew is staying at. You might find him there.”
By the time they make it to the hotel it’s now two in the morning.
So much time had gone past since Roman seen Dean last that it was physically killing him. His heart was pounding in his chest as he and Seth slammed the car doors and went straight to the room Dolph had told them.
Demanding more answers from Dolph proved fruitless. He didn’t know anything that was happening between the two, but he knew that Drew mentioned that he was meeting up with Dean every night and that it had started last night.
Seth wanted to know what they were meeting up for, but Dolph didn’t have an answer. He said it was recon but Roman and Seth knew better. Something was deeply wrong.
Seth couldn’t help himself. He landed a quick punch to Dolph’s face, enjoying the way the platinum blonde cradled his broken nose as he slid down the lockers.
Roman was just sorry he couldn’t do it first.
When they finally got to the door Roman didn’t hesitate to use his boots to slam into the wood until it was eventually splintering. His ankle got tweaked but the pain kept him grounded for what was to come.
“Dean!”
Seth pushed past him because Roman was glued to the spot. His frantic eyes landed on the bed, and he lost it.
His boy. His fucking boy. ½ of his everything was handcuffed to the bed, powerless to do anything as Drew fucked him from behind. Bobby Lashley noticed them first, hands untangling from the rope which was wrapped around his fucking throat.
Roman was the first to move. He ran in with a yell grabbing at Drew and dragging him off (out of) Dean.
“You mothefucker! I’ll fucking kill you, you piece of shit!”
Seth snapped out of his starring, pushing past the men tangled on the ground and socking Bobby in the mouth. “Where’s the fucking keys!”
Bobby stared shell shocked, mouth gaping dumbly before he was snagging the set of keys off the nightstand and tossing them at Seth.
Seth chose to ignore him for the time being. “Fuck-baby-” Seth was crying at this point, hands shakily attempting to unlock the cuffs moaning in relief when they finally popped open.
“Dean, baby, Dean?” Seth threw the cuffs across the room and shakily grabbed at Dean’s face cursing when he noticed a gag in between his lips.
Seth undid the ball gag in disgust, trying to keep his stomach from emptying itself. When he finally got to roll Dean over and see his face, he cradled him gently. Both Dean’s eyes were swollen, possibly from fists also very possibly from crying, the gag had left scratch marks on his cheeks giving him an eerie joker smile.
“Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry...” Was the only thing spilling past his lips intermingled with pleas that broke Seth’s heart into two.
“Roman,” Seth cried. “ROMAN get the fuck over here.”
“Oh my god...Dean...” Roman softly whispered. Seth spared him a quick glance noting the blood trailing from Roman’s nose. He didn’t question him about Drew any further, only concerned with the wellbeing of their boy.
“Pl’se don’t.” Dean whispered jerking away from Roman’s hands which lightly grazed his face. Seth shot worried eyes up to Roman. “Do you think he needs a hospital?”
“No hos’tl.” Dean shakily tried getting up off the bed which prompted both Roman and Seth to immediately reach for him with shouts of his name.
“Dean, baby please...”
“No hospital.” Dean said more clearly. “I’m-”
“I swear to god if you finish that sentence with okay-”
“Roman,” Seth admonished noticing that Dean didn’t respond well to the harsh tones and shrunk back further from where he landed after he attempted to get off the bed. Seth further slid an arm around his shaking shoulders to keep him upright.
Roman cursed at himself softly. He spared a glance backwards to where he had left Drew in a bloody heap, and he wasn’t all that shocked to see the man gone. Bobby also escaping with him.
Roman softened his tone and settled on the bed next to Dean who was doing his best not to look either of them in the eyes. Roman settled his arms around his shoulders, hands brushing Seth’s where they rested at Dean’s neck and pulled him in for a deep hug.
“God-” Seth breathed shakily, at a loss for words.
Dean curled into himself, knees pulling up attempting to hide himself away. Seth could already see Dean’s mind was trying to shut down, trying to protect itself from the horror. It was how he operated.
“We love you. We don’t want to see you hurting.” Roman pleaded, kissing the scratch marks on Dean’s cheeks gently.
“Let us in.” Seth added, seeing Dean close to breaking.
“You’ll hate me.”
“Never. Fucking never.”
Dean took in a stuttered breath at Roman’s words, burying his face into his knees and told Seth and Roman the secret he had been keeping bottled up, the secret that Drew had discovered and had actively used against him.
Seth finally had enough of the story. Heart tearing in two. “Dean, fuck, baby boy we already knew.”
The next hour was spent attempting to keep Dean from having a panic attack and hurting himself. The self-loathing was so thick Roman felt like he could suffocate on it at points. This dirty secret that Dean thought he was keeping had always been an open one to both Seth and Roman. They never held it against Dean for it though. They knew he was still attempting to right himself again and needed space which they both gave and as always, as he fucking always did, he came back to them this time healthier and stronger than ever.
Fuck, Roman thought Dean never brought Regal up because he wanted to move past it. He wasn’t as involved in Dean’s life during that time as Seth was during FCW. But he heard horror stories. Heard about Dean coming back to work often drunk, spiraling deeper and further away from Seth. The tentative relationship they found themselves with completely crumbled due to the claws Regal had in Dean at the time. Roman knew it continued even when they all three started a relationship. Their relationship was in their infancy stage, all of them trying to figure out how to make it work because they knew something was there.
He didn’t know this had been eating away at Dean so badly that it caused this to happen.
Getting Dean to sleep that night was nearly impossible. Nightmares left him jittery to the point where he had to get up and take a walk in the cold, mumbling to them both that he would be back soon.
Roman didn’t want to let him go alone but Seth insisted that Dean needed his space. The physical wounds would heal themselves, but the emotional ones would need a lot longer.
When Dean finally came back, eyes red rimmed with the sun breaking on the horizon Roman knew what they needed to do. He knew Dean needed to erase the images he had in his brain, convince himself that he didn’t lose Roman and Seth completely.
Roman disrobed him with care, hands skimming over all the ugly marks left on his perfect skin. Seth settled on his knees, in front of Dean and gave him a slow blowjob that left Roman weak in the knees at the noises escaping from both his boys’ mouths.
Roman ignored his own erection and led Dean to the bed, pushing him down gently and following it up with a deep kiss that left them both gasping when he pulled away. Seth was extra careful to make sure he was slicked with lube, and that he slowly opened Dean up with gentle strokes of his fingers.
“Please-” Dean gasped, hips arching off the bed as Seth finally sunk in with a slow slide of his hips, not wanting to unintentionally hurt him.
“Shhhh,” Roman whispered, smoothing the crinkle on Dean’s forehead. “Just focus on us.” Roman had settled himself next to Dean sitting up with Dean’s head near his hip.
“We love you.” Seth added again, laying flush against Dean’s chest grinding slowly. “We fucking love you.”
“We always will, you hear me. We will always love you.”
Dean came with a stuttering hiss, biting into Seth’s neck out of habit. Roman kissed at the tears that unintentionally spilled out.
“St’y with me.” Dean whispered in a panic at the feeling of Seth pulling out.
“Always,” Seth assured, continuing to lay against Dean’s body. “We’ll never leave you.”
“Go to sleep baby boy, we’ll be here when you wake up.” Roman soothed, watching as Dean settled into sleep.
“How’d you guys know?”
The question catches Seth off guard. He rubs at his eyes roughly, yawning until the events from the prior night come rushing back to him. He didn’t intend to, but he sat up quickly in bed, scaring Roman who was busy snoring on the other side of Dean who gave a yelp in response.
Dean is sitting up in bed, arms crossed and staring at the wall.
“Hey,” Seth starts gently, hand settling on Dean’s warm shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
Roman was sitting up as well staring at the two intensely.
Dean shrugs off Seth’s hand, “how did you guys know?”
Seth sighs, pulling his hand back. “I knew since FCW. Regal liked to gloat a lot. I think he was jealous of me.”
Seth watched as Dean grit his teeth further, squaring his jaw. His hands had unwound themselves from across his chest and were spastically clenching like he wanted to hit something.
“Hey, what’s going through that head of yours right now?” Roman asked gently.
“How can you-” Dean’s voice hitched, staring at his shaking hands. “How can you even stand to be near me right now?”
“Because we love you.”
Dean makes a choked noise deep in the back of his throat and buried his face in his hands falling back into the bed. “Why?”
Seth follows him down, winding his arms around his body giving him a soft kiss on the shoulder. “Why not?”
“I’m-I’m dirty...I let him...god I let him...” Dean can’t finish the sentence and Roman didn’t want to hear him finish that thought anyway. He growled low in his throat. “You didn’t let him do anything. You weren’t a willing participant in that exchange.”
“No buts,” Seth interjected seeing the argument begin to rise. “We love you and always have. What you did with Regal wasn’t wrong okay?”
Dean jerked away from Seth’s touch, rolling into Roman who stopped him from leaving. “Stop it.”
“I’m happy you came back to us. I’m so fucking happy you came back to us.”
“Stop.” Dean went to cover his ears but Roman wasn’t letting him. He needed to hear this whether he liked it or not.
“We. Love. You.”
“No.”
“Yes, you’re not dirty or wrong for what happened.”
Dean opened his mouth again but Roman pushed in for a kiss, done trying to convince Dean with words because words never typically did work on him, actions always did.
Seth followed suit, mouthing wet kisses on the back of his neck each small peck punctuated with an “I love you” that made Dean shiver.
Roman pulled away whispering “Oute alofa ia oe. O oe o aʻu mea uma faʻatasi ma Seth. Lo'u uso, lo'u pele, lo'u ola.”
Roman heard Seth breathe in deeply, the words hitting him hard. Dean sucked in a breath, a whispered “oh fuck” leaving his lips. Roman never spoke his native tongue around either boy. That was always reserved for family.
Neither man may not understand what the full meaning is but Roman smiles when Dean is whispering back: “I love you so fucking much.”