Chapter Text
Carmy never wanted to be a part of this life. Never ever. At all actually. Honestly, that’s the reason why he left home in the first place. He wanted to find himself in the chaos of the world. And it wasn't like he was going out blind. His dream was to become a chef, well, him and his brother’s dream. Carmy knew it was never going to happen, but a small part of him had hope. They were going to start a restaurant together. But then sooner or later they had to wake up and face reality.
They didn’t have freewill like the other kids in the playground. They didn’t have a choice when it came to being a part of this life or not. It was the mafia or nothing. The training started when they were 10 and it all went downhill.
Honestly, Carmy doesn't know how he got out. But her never really got out. He was just allowed to get away. But he was always going to be tied to his fucked up family no matter how hard he tried or how many dishes he plated.
The three of them knew they were being used but they didn’t really have a choice. Michael looked up to their dad the most, wanted to be just like him, did everything for him pretty much. He was the one who mostly wanted to be a part of the "family business" the most. Carmy and Natalie chose to stay as far away from it as they possibly could. So when their Dad was killed in a drive by shooting he took it pretty hard. He put all his work into the mafia. Never letting anything distract him and pushing his limits until he was unstoppable. Never listened to a word Carmy or Natalie said to get him to slow down.
Since Michael was the first born son he was meant to follow in his father’s footsteps after he died, and that’s exactly what he did. They both watched as Mikey started to slowly but surely let the mafia world consume him. Always thinking and speaking about it like it was the air he breathed. He was becoming obsessed. Carmy couldn’t take much more of watching his brother slowly kill himself so left. He was 19.
It pains him to say this but he left.
It hurts him more that he left Nat alone in that big cold house. It was the most selfish decision he ever made but it didn’t really do much for him.
Was he able to live his dream?
Yes.
Was he able to work in Michelin star restaurants across the nation?
Yes again…
But he was incredibly lonely. He didn’t date much, at all really. And whenever he did have a girl over the sex wasn’t great. It was decent at best but it wasn’t enjoyable. He felt as though he lost himself when he left. The loneliness was starting to consume him and whenever Nat would call he wouldn’t answer. He didn't want her to see him like this even though he most definitely needed her now more than ever. This continued for a while before he got a call from his mother. Who never called him up to this point. He can’t remember the last time he had even spoken to her…maybe 6 years give or take. He was surprised he still had her number. But that phone call was a call he’d never forget.
Mikey was dead. Suicide.
He didn’t know what to feel at that point. He had gotten so used to the feeling of blocking out his emotions to survive the culinary industry that he didn’t know how to react when he got the news.
He felt a multitude of emotions.
Sadness.
Anger.
Grief…
It was coming in waves. He started to cry, which was probably the first good cry he had in a while. But he did know that he had to go back home. His sister needed him and he had to take over. He didn’t want to but he didn’t have a choice.
-
Carmy always hated being in the front line. He preferred being behind the scenes. Michael was always the one who wanted to be on the ground with everyone else. Intimidating everyone he sees. Carmy was much more reserved and calm when it came to these things. When doing these ‘missions’ he preferred to be in a van or monitoring from a distance. But today he had to go out in the front line today and Carmy was pissed. Even if he did volunteer himself this, he was still pissed out
It was fucking freezing, in November, and they had people to do this shit. But sometimes when you want something done correctly, you do it yourself. And that was exactly what he wass doing right now, because there was no way in hell he was sending his sister out there for this. He supposed he could probably send Richie but he wanted this to be as clean as possible.
It’s just a drug deal, nothing major…
He’s done this before. How bad can it be?
-
They arrived at their warehouse in two vans. One of Carmy, Richie, Fak, and Gary. And the other for backup in case anything were to happen. He doubts anything was going to happen but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Going into it Carmy wasn't worried, it was just a bunch of guys who wanted drugs. He didn’t take the time to remember who they actually were.
“Okay, so we’re going in and out as quickly as possible guys. Are we clear Fak?” Carmy softly but sternly spoke into his ear piece.
“You are all clear. But be careful once you step into the warehouse there is about 10 guys in there, so you three should be good.”
10 guys for a drug deal? Was it really that deep.
Carmy assumed it was but he hasn’t done this in years he was just taking it one step at a time making sure no one got killed in the process.
Before Carmy even has the chance to open the door fully, gunshots are already being directed at them, and it was way more than 10 people in that warehouse
“Fak! I thought I told you to update us!” Carmy didn’t know how loud he was yelling but he assumed it was loud enough for Fak to hear him over the shots they were hearing.”
“I was trying but it didn’t seem to go through, it doesn't seem to be conne-”
“Fak? Fak? Fak fucking answer me!!”
“CARMY HEADS UP!”
Before Carmy could even gain the words to respond to Richie he was punched by a rival gang member who was described to him by Michael a few times but this was his first time seeing them in person and they also weren’t the people they were supposed to be meeting today. He looked to Richie and Gary for assistance but they were busy dealing with people on their own.
Carmy stood up and looked to face the guy. He wore a mask and all black. The only thing he could see on him was his eyes, they were dark and cold. Carmy waited until he made a move, if he did it would be harder for him to calculate his moves. Once the guy started moving it was game on.
Carmy had to admit the guy was skilled…too skilled. Which was to be expected but skill Carm was surprised by his skills. Carmy doesn't know if fighting with this guy provided a layer of time travel to it but before he knew it he was being thrown on the ground in a dark alley with the guy straddling him punching him repeatedly in the face. Richie and Fak were no where in sight. Carmy was surprised he hadn’t passed oiut yet, but he was slowly going in and out of consciousness. He saw a glimpse of long braids and a loud bang before he blacked out completely.