Chapter 1: Running water
Chapter Text
Zuko pov
The 42 night
14 weeks before she joined the gaang
"Only my poison can heal you now.
As you temp- call you. your - s are soft your heart- e
fruit and fire of my loins.
beg cry stay"
his words bled into each other disappearing into the thick night's air as she let her body curl around the largest pillow counting each star stitched on it. shaking her arms slowly hearing the chains rub against each other singing like bells.
She liked To imagine she was floating above herself slowly rising to the roof and looking away from the large bed, from that boiling room she ran her lips across the gold starts on her pillow, she felt almost calm she turned around to avoid the body of the sleeping man beside her because she wasn't there. she was way up high in the cold black sky and the gold stars were shining on her. ~They would be warm~ she thought ~A gentle warmth that would cradle me in his arms. Not this boiling heat choking me out.~
The stars will never let her stay in the darkness
Katara pov.
It was the princess's first day with them and she could tell Zuko was very close to snapping at her for shadowing her through the camp. Good!
Snapping and showing her true colors would save Kattara so much work. And time.
"Morning!" Aang gleefully beamed at Zuko who sat on a rock combing her hair with a golden comb she looked up at him with a confused look
"you just woke up now?" she asked placing the comb in her lap she wore a sleeping robe that was gold and red "Umm... yeah?" Aang said and Zuko blinked slowly
"Does this place have showers?" she asked standing up
"You are not going to find them alone your Highness I won't have you snooping around the place. I am going with you!" Kattara said standing up making Zuko raise an eyebrow. (she only has one? how did Katara never notice it??"
the implication caught up to her making Katara blush and cross her arms
"To make sure she doesn't use being unwatched to pull the rug from under our feet!" she said stopping herself from throwing a nice fat ball of water at her brother's face Sokka smiled "You sure about that?" he teased "Shut up," Kattara mumbled
"Fine." the princess said standing up and grabbing her bag "Where is the bath?" she asked again
Kattara knew the firebender wouldn't attack them in the shower but her hate and disdain for someone had the habit of choking her logic out like a waterfall on a candle.
"I'm not dumb enough to attack a water bender while covered in water you know," Zuko said when they reached the bath. "I HIGHLY doubt that" Katara said sitting down on a stone bench. Zuko looked down at the large stone tubs then with a sigh she opened her robe and threw it off herself, Kattara yelped and looked away before looking back at her because it is unwise to turn your back on your enemy.
"GO BEHIND A WALL OR SOMETHING DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?!" she yelled covering her eyes and only removing her hands when the princess stepped into the water.
Katara never actually saw the body of a girl around her age specifically a girl that was a little older. Or anybody's body really, the poles and earth kingdom didn't walk around in their birthday suits. She noticed the girl had this perfect porcelain skin with no body hair or stretch marks perfect tear-shaped breasts that hung high smooth thighs, her skin clearly was waxed and oiled often, maybe even steamed and given massages! how could that girl parade her well-groomed body in this world stricken by poverty and war? She must have felt Kattara staring because she turned around raising her only eyebrow at her
Katara rolled her eyes. Zoku moved her hair back while semi-rising up from the water and picking up soap she started scrubbing her skin harshly Kattara noted it was far too harsh making her skin red and raw.
'trying to wash away the guilt ashmaker?' she thought to herself.
as Zuko kept washing as if she didn't notice the girl watching her. when she washed off the soap Kattara had enough of this insanity and practically threw her robe at her
"PUT YOUR CLOTHS BACK ON!" she shouted at her
"what- YOU ARE THE ONE WHO INSISTED ON FOLLOWING ME TO BATH DID YOU EXPACT ME TO BATHE FULLY CLOTHED?!" the princess shouted back putting her robe back on for some reason her hands were shaking.
That night Zuko spoke in her sleep she would twist and turn and call out
to someone she would mumble a few names interchangeably but never clearly enough for Kattara to recognize. Then she would wake up shove the blanket off of herself move her arms slowly for some reason then go back to bed.
Chapter 2: Sit with me
Notes:
just to clerifay
all zuko pov will be set in the past and every gaang pov will be set in the present. every other time skip will be mentioned
Chapter Text
The First Night
20 weeks before she joined the gaang
"You are a much finer girl than your mother was, your face is horrid but that body must have been the only good thing passed down to it wasn't it?" he asked her she didn't look at him. her good eye was open and she could see his face but she wasn't looking at him.
"Well, some of it. She was practically flat you are not," he said Zuko noted that was the first compliment her father had ever given her. If she didn't fear she would die if she kept crying that would have made her weep. He rose from the bed moving the heavy silk blankets
"You wept the whole night." he said "That will have to stop." he moved his palm away from his robe finishing to close it and looking at the dark red stains on the golden sheets
"You bled." he looked at the semi-fresh blood that dyed his palms "You must have been the only virgin in ba sing se!" he said laughing at his joke "That new money boy, son of Ukano didn't take you to bed then. I am surprised perhaps you do have some hope girl," he said with a smile before kissing her cheek then he walked to the door "I will be back tonight," he said and left the room
she curled into a tight ball hugging her legs and kept crying.
Later that day maid with very very short black hair came into her room she introduced herself as Mu-la she helped Zuko into a bath before scrubbing her clean. She thought that would be all but Mu-la then began waxing every inch of hair with warm wax after she removed each section of hair she would light her palms with a tiny bit of flame passing it along her body "That makes the hair not grow back as fast." she told her. when she was done she began rubbing many oils into her she would talk mostly to herself
"Oh, this is made with flowers. Men simply adore that scent it must have cost a fortune." she then heated her palms again "You have some stretch marks around your tits legs and ass hun. This helps to smooth them out" she informed her cheerfully.
Zuko didn't say a single word to Mu-la that day.
Aang pov
"wider stance," Zuko told him again crossing her arms
"But how am I supposed to jump around with my stance this wide??" Zuko pinched the bridge of her nose
"You are not." she said "I just want you to focus on the basics. Feel your footing before you jump into dancing on fire," she said he nodded a little disappointed before widening his stance
"Perfect now arm- wait now put your left leg a little more forward." he did "OK now put your arms up." she nodded. She was somewhere between Katara and Toph in her teachings she would not go as easy or as tough as either. He liked it!
after a few hours of training, Zuko motioned they could take a break Aang and Zuko walked to the common sitting area and Aang asked Zuko to bring him the small sack of berries from his bag.
Zuko shuffled through the contents of the bag when something made her yelp "Aang." she pulled out a paper "WHY DO YOU HAVE A NOODLE PORTRAIT OF MY DAD?!" she asked horrified Sokka burst into a laughing fit "omg I forgot you made that." Aang rubbed the back of his head "Oh yeah I forgot to throw that away... what do you think it looks like him?" she clenched the paper letting it burn to ash in her palm
"yes." she stood up throwing him the berries. She was in a rotten mood for the rest of the day.
She would get like this every time her father was mentioned.
Chapter 3: Tea and oil
Summary:
Toph gets a ride from Zuko and has a conversation with her.
Notes:
this is super random but i like to write Toph pov because it super hard not to describe what the charcters are seeing
Chapter Text
Zuko pov
the first night before it all
that night she shot up when she heard her door open, rubbing her eyes she slowly recognized the tall man
"My lord. Is everything ok?" she asked him climbing off her bed
"You said you wished for words." he told her she looked down "I have words,"
she tried to make her hair seem not as messy with her hand combing through it
"Words for what my lord?" she asked he he walked towards her.
"for the way you have been acting, princess," he told her placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Humilationg, peasant-like whoreish," he said placing his other hand on her chin she almost fell holding herself up by the collum of her bed
so he has. Should a princess not kiss a lover? She had left the palace before she was of age to learn such lessons
"Father please forgive me I have not meant to insult-" she said being stopped by him raising his and striking her across the face making her fall to her knees. His hand slowly went to the golden ribbon holding her sleeping robe close around her he barely gave it a pull before deciding to rip it off her. She yelped in surprise and fear going to cover her chest but he grabbed her by her now bare waist picking her up. Her hands as if by instinct went to his shoulders as she yelped when he picked her up he tightened his grip before throwing her onto the bed she felt her body limp as her head hit the mattress her loose topknot falling apart. She closed her legs panic clouding her thoughts she began crying and shaking trying to cover herself as he opened his robe pinning her down with his hands
she barely managed to cry out a small "No!" before her crying turned into screams of pain
for some reason his beard rubbing against her skin made the pain throbbing through her body so much worse she tried to kick but he just grabbed her knees spreading her legs further apart and making her hips rise
He began thrusting in and out as she was screaming her head shaking from side to side violently as her lord father began kissing her neck
She didn't even realize when she began begging. maybe it was her instinct to do so? maybe she didn't realize it because her voice was so shaky and high-pitched it didn't sound like hers. Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe this was just a bad dream and in reality, she was sitting next to her mom and the hands going through her hair would be her mother's cool soft palms, not her father's hard hands that pulled on it now.
Toph pov
Toph's feet were bound with cloth so she couldn't "see" or feel anything. She could still tell when people were walking up to her, smell them, and recognize the voices but she couldn't feel more than that and that made her feel like a whale on a beach waiting for someone to push them into the water so she could swim again. she heard steps and smiled
"Hold up sparks. my feet are still hurt you have to carry me," she said as she heard Zuko step up to her and pick her up. She felt something odd against her knees as she was placed firmly on the princess's back. based on The princess's size her legs would be wrapped around her belly, which felt odd. It was super stiff but not muscle-like, and a little bloated sadly her feet were too badly hurt to see it even when on the ground. So she ignored it feeling slowly around the princess's shoulders when she reached her hair. it wasn't dry and thick like Kattara's hair or heavy like her own. it felt pretty light like silk and was soft. she could smell it must have been smeared with a lot of oil but the scent was faint so it must have been long ago. Oils tended to stick.
"Toph if you need to hold onto something grab my shoulders I don't like people touching my hair," she said weirdly calmly it surprised Toph enough that she let go without a snarky comment.
"so where do you wanna go?" Zuko asked her she smiled "Oh no where I just wanted a ride." Zuko probably used her face to express annoyance because she just stopped for a second and then kept going.
Most of the time when people rolled their eyes or stuff like that they forgot all Toph did could feel them doing was stop for a sec then keep going
Zuko took her to the dining area and put her down. Sparks had a very fast heartbeat with some kind of echo to it. That couldn't be healthy she will have to get that checked out when the war is over!
Toph sat next to Zuko eating and telling her all about the earth rumble she didn't say much but sounded interested and even semi-laughed at some of her jokes. It was kind of fun to talk to her. She felt like an older sister but not the super nagging type.
It was just... nice
"It was so much better to muck in dirt and not just you know sit around in a lovely dress sipping tea"
"Yeah! I hate getting all pretty" Zuko agreed with her "really hate it." she repeated.
Zuko would always place the teacups he would serve Toph pretty close to her. She noted that Sparky was the only one to remember that Toph was blind and wondered why.
"Why did you get all covered in oil if you hate getting pretty?" Toph asked her. She heard the girl stop sipping and slowly place her cup on the table. Not using the earth as her eyes was hard but she could still hear and smell perfectly well.
"It was demanded from me as the princess to look and smell presentable. and the oil also makes you pleasant to the touch," she said then picked up the cup again drinking faster.
Chapter 4: Agni's will
Chapter Text
Ozai pov
The day of the black sun
He looked at the man groveling before him. Ozai noted that this was a very ugly man, with his eyes set far too high in his face his lips fat like worms and his eyebrows thin and short. Ozai truly believed that someone's moral goodness could truly be reflected by their appearance. And this man seemed pathetic inside and out.
"Your majesty. The princess has escaped." he stood up the fires rising around him "WHAT?!" the man rolled further in on himself
"She is nowhere in the castle since her window was broken." Ozai huffed
"Then get out and find her you idiot! find her if you have to burn down all of Caldera!!" the man ran away still in a bow as Azula walked into his room to inform him of the Avatar's escape
he nodded and she smiled and rose from her bow. She is his clone, his twin flame far too stubborn to be broken down like her. Like her sister.
"Those who can be bent and broken to one's will should suffer the punishment fit for such weakness." He told Azula who looked at him and nodded
"I agree Father," she said he narrowed his eyes and waved his hands for her to leave his sight.
He sat on his throne letting the flames grow holding a scroll in his hands he didn't bother to read it as it was from the fire sages.
He remembered walking in on his daughter when she was 12 she was sitting in front of the fireplace hands clutched together
"What are you doing?" He asked her she looked at him with surprise "Praying my lord." she said standing up
"Praying. For what?" he asked annoyed with the girl already.
"For Agni to help us win the war and keep you safe father," she said his blood was boiling already. he didn't know why this child angered him so.
"Do you think me weak Zuko?" she fell to her knees "Of course not my lord. But Uncle told me it is good to pray over those we love-"
"I am the voice and hand of Agni in this world girl I do not need you to pray for me!" he said she nodded and bowed again
"Then I shan't I am sorry." he just pinched the bridge of his nose and left her room slamming the door behind him.
He never understood his daughter's fondness for Agni. If Agni loved the girl he would make her stronger.
Ozai felt that he knew all that a man must know. He knew that people like him and his youngest child were born and made to lead the world and that women like his meek pale daughter were born and made to birth their children and warm their beds.
He knew the gods didn't care. That they had no mercy to send to that timid girl who was kneeling calling for them.
He did not know why his daughter stirred him this way, the way his skin burned and tightened when he laid eyes on her. It must have been hate he told himself then.
But when he saw the girl again after her banishment for the first time he feared the gods. As he gazed at the girl bowing her hair long and silky her baby fat gone and her beauty shining through the mark of shame she earned on his face he felt desire rise within him.
How dare she temp him that way with her Ivory skin her long round eyes he small mouth with dark red lips. He hoped the scar would distract from it but it just made the fire in him burn stronger it reminded him how easily she would beg and bend the knee to him.
She didn't look like her mother, she had her lips and they spoke to him in the same timid manner but her face was a mix of many faces he had never seen before rarely did he catch a glimpse of his face. His jaw his hair.
The gods really must hate the girl to make him feel this way for her. To grant her with only the blessing of beauty, and not of wit and strength like her sister. The gods must know how that would stir him. This must be Agni's will.
When he took the girl for the second time he stopped to aprisate Mu-la's work. that girl was as smooth as silk without even that weak pale peach fuzz on her body that shined with oil she was tight and young and perky soft but firm.
"You were meant for this, the gods must have known," he told her when he was dressing again she didn't say a word.
he ripped himself away from the memory back to the present.
'I am the hand of Agni. My word is law and my word is the truth.' he reminded himself before tossing the scroll from the fire sages into the flame
"Find her." he told his soldiers "Bring her to me unharmed but chained. Go!" he commanded and his soldiers left as fast as the wind.
Chapter 5: So Annoying
Chapter Text
night number 70
Ten weeks before she joined the Gaang Zuko POV
He asked her the oddest thing
"Are you happy child?" He asked she was lying on her bed her head in his lap she wanted to peel her skin off his strong arms stayed firmly on her head patting her hair and stopping her from rising back up and crawling away from him.
"No my lord," she said. telling lies never worked well for her He looked at her
"Why? There is nothing that you lack." He asked angered. She never picked the right answers with him when. both when told the truth and when she lied.
"You are given the finest food." He stood up and she felt better away from him.
"You get to rest on the finest silk. What is it that you lack" He looked at her and laughed
"Oh, I know. That pathetic suitor of yours who you cry out to?"
He was laughing. She kept her head down
"OH poor unhappy Zuko! Shall we pity her? Shall we curse her?" He asked she was leaning her head against the cool wall of her room she didn't understand what he wanted from her. She had nothing left to give him.
He looked at her "Should I worry about that boy?"
huh. What a fatherly sentence, worrying about the intentions of a boy she would date. She imagined the oddest thing in the world. A world when Maiko was over for dinner her family made a big deal about it like the family's in the folk scrolls mom would read her. She snapped out of it quickly
"No! he is just a friend my only friend" she tried to stand up stepping on the dress on the floor almost tripping.
He cupped her face
"We shall pity her I think." He said running before giving her a shove. And then he left.
Zuko went to her bed pulling her out a scroll. She had ten weeks to escape and Go to the Avatar. Ten weeks until the eclipse. Only 70 more nights to go "I got this far." she said the lights in the room flickered "I won't give up now." she told her reflection
"never give up without a fight".
Sokka pov
They all joined in for the jerkbender's class that for some reason started with her. placing seven candles on the floor she sat in a seiza when she lit the candles.
"Ok now I need you to annoy me, from afar" she said as she closed her eyes and breathed in. Sokka never heard the princess say anything better he jumped to volunteer
the Jerkbender stayed steady when Sokka threw his best puns slowly walking up to her with little sucsess until he made a jab about the fire lord. He didn't even remember what it was exactly and Katara thought it was hilarious but then Zuko opened his eyes to yell at him something and the candle's fire shot up. he yelped and stumbled back. he did the dignified escape tactic called "falling on your ass" When Zuko opened her mouth to say something she was pinned down to the floor with a wave of ice "Are you crazy you could have burned his face off!" Katara screamed as Aang tried to calm everyone down Zuko was trying to fight the thick ice going from panicked to hysterical. The eye that could open all the way was so wide it made her look like a baby lamb-monkey her face was paler than usual she was breathing quickly her head bobbing from side the side her yelps turning to shouts turning to blood curdling shreiks.
this is what animals sounded like before he killed them.
her screams were short and sharp each one making her twist her body unnaturally to try to break free but Katara was holding strong. Before they could stop her toph ran to Zuko. She broke the ice And helped Zuko sit up.
"Look what you did stupid!" Toph yelled at all three of them as Zuko was panting but slowly calming down
"I don't like being pinned down," Zuko said closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths
"Fire is connected to emotion. you lose control of your emotions you lose control of the fire. As Sokka so nicely helped me demonstrate." she said standing up
"We are taking a break," she commanded ever so royally then she stormed off.
"what is actually wrong with you?!" Toph shouted. Sokka crossed his arms "She shot fire at me!".
Tui and La! this stupid jerkbender was such a jerk!
He stopped showing up to firebending lesson;s after that. Avoided the princess over all that's why he was shocked when she volunteered to help him free his dad.
Chapter 6: The boiling rock
Chapter Text
Zuko pov the third night
It was past midnight and somehow she fell asleep. Naked sweaty and shaken, her thighs were sleek with blood and fluids she didn't dare to think about that stained her sheets. Her head felt light but her body felt heavy as if she was being pulled in two opposite directions. She didn't realize she fell asleep until she felt something odd.
She was cold. Unbelievably so. that was how she knew it was a dream. Her room was never cold. She slowly breathed in the freezing air as she rose and opened her eyes with a grunt. she saw two figures lying on the edge of her bed The smaller one was a lady with skin so white it was greenish and blue her lips were thin and her eyes far too large for her face. She wore a blue silk dress in her lap rested the head of a man with Blue skin and tiny black eyes. His head was devoid of any hair as bald as a rock and the light of the flames Danced on his scalp
Zuko pulled her blanket up shivering "Who are you two ?!" They smiled at her as if that was a foolish question. As if she was a silly child asking things she should know.
"sweet child. Poor child." The white lady said combing her silver hair with a comb of gold
"So tired. So afraid. She has so many worries doesn't she?" The white lady smiled at the blue man
"If only we could help her." The blue man said almost purring as he rose smiling at Zuko
"Sweet child. Kind child so tragic... So frightened." He said reaching for Zuko's face with his small blue palm she flinched away from his touch her fingers began to hurt from the cold
"Who will ease you woe and worries who will help heal your broken silly soul?" The white woman asked pouting her thin lips in amusement
"What do you want from me?" Zuko asked curling into herself
"Nothing sweet child. Calm yourself let me comb your hair and bathe your feet. Lay beside me my lovely jewel let me gaze upon your face and scar.
Let me feed you fruit until you stink of honey."
The white woman said. Zuko covered her ears why did they talk like that? in riddles "Please leave me alone I don't want to be gazed upon or touched I want to be alone please!" she begged her dreams were the only place where she could be alone. why won't they let her experience any joy! she could scream.
"How have I offended the gods?" Zuko asked weakly as the white lady moved toward her
"I always wanted them to smile upon me. To feel the light of Agni against my skin... you must be spirits. Please I beg of you tell me how I have wronged them that they have to punish me this way." she begged as the white woman hugged her. Zuko felt too weak to avoid the touch.
"So this is Agni's favorite child?" white asked Blue and he smiled "Agni did always have a fondness for the small and miserable" They both laughed Zuko felt her body warm up a bit
"you know what must be done my sweet," White told her before she kissed both of her cheeks
Zuko always spoke formally in her dreams. Usually because in all her dreams she was home at court talking to Noble. It became a habit of hers.
she never really learned to talk like a teenager. spending the first 13 years of her life in the stuffiest court on earth and the last three with a bunch of men above the age of 40 whom she only barked orders at.
But she spoke with little formality when she looked at white and just said "Huh?" White laughed again
"We can't tell you my pretty. But you know, otherwise, we wouldn't be here to help you!"
Zuko leaned into her bed again rubbing her temples "I didn't ask for help."
"And that was the only reason we came to aid you, poor child. We do not answer those who call us. Only those who need up" Blue said
Zuko covered her ears again and closed her eyes. why won't anything leave her alone?
she felt white kiss her forehead then they were gone and the room became hot again
Sokka pov
Sokka remembered going to a fire town A week before the invasion
he was crying into a pot of hot noodles "They said this was kid level of spicy! do these people breathe fire- oh right..." he mumbled pushing away the bowl. "This food stinks I just want to eat something salty and not burning hot!" he said when Katara laughed and just gave his a small snowball for him to lick "You are the best I take back the time I asked Mom to sell you," Sokka said and Katara smiled "huh wait that's-" she was stopped by a town crier
who stood on a small wooden box.
"By royal order of the fire lord himself, we present to you this warrant of arrest! Princess Zuko is at fault for Denying and defiling all her lord father's orders. treachery. lechery and all matters of vice and sin!
Those who turn the girl in will be rewarded with 10,000 gold pieces!
Those who will be found to be hiding or helping the whore will be charged as well!" Sokka looked as the town crier stapled a huge poster
"that is... a lot of money...!" Toph said picking at the inside of her ear with her pinky
"Lechery? Zuko? With that face and in a bulky armor who would wanna lecher with that?" Kattara asked crossing her arms. Sokka laughed at her joke. Aang looked uneasy as he read the extra print on the poster a direct quote from the fire lord "If she is brought back with as much as a single hair missing from her head you will suffer the due punishment."
Wow the fire lord didn't seem like the protective parent type he thought but then shook his head he would not care about the stupid ponytail princess. He will not.
Now he was sitting with little Miss Lechery alone in a hot air balloon and he was DYING to ask.
10,000 was a lot of money. , what on earth could she have done for the fire lord to fork up the money?! and why would a single hair matter if she has such a huge scar?
"so um.... do you like the arts?" Sokka decided to pick something he was certain the princess didn't care about so he could at least act like he tried
"yes" she said
well shit.
Chapter 7: Silly child
Summary:
I wanted to thank everybody that gave me helpful critics on my work!
I struggle with pronouns and generally with grammar and you people are a great help!
love you all and hope you will like this hahah
Chapter Text
Zuko POV
night… ?
“Wish something, sweet child.” The white woman said that night. Zuko wasn't sure which night it was, she was laying on her bed when the white woman appeared completely alone this time
“wish?” Zuko asked, confused. She feared that white woman, she was pale and sickly and covered with the colour of death.
“I might not grant your wish, but I want to know what you would wish. If given the chance." she purred.
“To see my sister!” she said without a second to consider, “I can't sleep I can't stop thinking that he might also be doing this to her. She is young, and I promised mother I would protect her, but I wasn't here and she is alone. With him. And I only got to know her now, she scared me when we were kids, but we are not kids any more. I hoped we could be friends, and now I am here and she…” Zuko didn't stop to think of a logical or convincing sentences, she just needed to make this spirit want to help her.
Zuko could not stop thinking about Azula. She didn't dare to think of home during her exile. It pained her too much but no she was no longer away from all she loved. In fact she was far too close to it.
When she saw Azula it dawned on her how much Azula grew up. She was almost as tall as her, and her face was not chubby and round. Zuko felt a stinging pain, realizing how much she must have missed from her sisters' life.
And now Zuko was trapped Alone in this horrible room with only this horrible man and those spirits to keep her company, she just wanted to know that Azula was alright.
The white woman laughed
“alright then. Get dressed, I will take you to her.” she said, sitting down on Zuko's bed.
“This is all the clothing I have” Zuko said pointing at her amber coloured, see through slip that covered nothing at all
“fine. Then I will make sure no one can see you. But remember you can only see her for a moment, then we go back here.” The spirit said as if presenting the rules of a fun game.
Zuko nodded happily, “yes. Oh! Yes, thank you!”
“OKI DOKI. Let's go.” White said.
Then Zuko found herself in her sister's room, standing in front of her bed
“is she safe? Is she happy?” Zuko asked, watching Azula comb her hair, she had really thick hair that had more of a curve to it. Unlike Zuko's hair that was always pin straight. If she would ever get to talk to Azula again, she'll tell her she had always been jealous of her hair. And ask to braid it.
“Yes she is safe” The white spirit said, Zuko looked at Azula with a smile,” could I help her be happy?” The white woman laughed
“No silly girl.” Zuko said nothing. Those spirits made her feel odd. Like all the words she knew were slowly dying out until she was only left with silence, they made her head feel light and eampty.
Azula POV
Azula was having a terrible day. Her head was throbbing from her poor night's sleep and her father seemed cheerier by the day, he was practically glowing when he called her to tell her the “good news “
“I have decided that Zuko should marry Governor Sharo.” He told her
Governor Sharo was the richest man in the fire nation, He owned many of the islands surrounding the main lands, the largest of which being amber isle. It was said that he was so rich that even his servants would wear gold and silk, and that he would throw out each diamond he wore.
He was also very old.
“Then I should congratulate her when I see her today.” Azula said, calmly.
“You will not see her today. You will not see her for a while. She had already gone to amber island and will not be back for a long while. To concentrate on her wifely duties, that is.” he told her. He didn't say much more and left when he finished his meal.
Azula stayed at the table for a long time.
Of course, she left. Just like dear old mother did, like they all do. She looked into her cup of tea, watching the water swirl in it. She imagined her sister sitting in the lap of the governor covered in gold, a small child in her arms. A child whom she would love~ she would be the worst kind of mother~ Azula thought ~the kind that chokes their kid with love and affection, combs their hair and kisses their scratches, her kids would have so many scratches. They would be as clumsy as their stupid mom. Stupid Zuzu and her stupid kids.~
why did the water of the tea move? She blinked when she noticed drops falling into her drink making it dance, she noticed she was crying.
Why would she cry? She never cries?! How stupid.
“How dare she make me cry! She ran away from me, that idiot! That traitor. Well, if she wants to get away from her horrible little sister, let her! I don't need her. I did perfectly well without her for three years!” she shouted at the tea cup, who rudely didn't respond, so she threw the cup at the wall.
She had a weird dream that night. In her dream, Zuko was sitting next to her on the sandy beaches of amber isle, her hair was down her arms rested on a swollen pregnant stomach.
She was covered in gold, a thick golden collar on her neck, rings on each of her fingers and around her ankles she had thin golden bracelets that rang when she moved. Azula blinked, looking at her.
Zuko smiled at her “Don't help me.” she said, still smiling, offering her fruit from a golden plate
“what?” Azula asked Zuko as Zuko looked into her eyes. For some reason, Zuko never had a scar in her dreams.
“I love you.” she said, putting a small red fruit in her mouth. “I love you” she said again, then she stood up and walked into the water that turned into a bright white. As she slowly sank into them, still smiling and waving at Azula.
She asked her father to visit Zuko the next day, but her father refused “I need you at my side Azula” he said, and she clutched the fabric of her pants tighter “Of course father.” she said
It didn't take much for her to be angry at her sister.
Zuko feared and hated her, Just like her mother, so she left. It was a simple but hurtful truth that Azula knew well, but for a reason, her sister still haunted her dreams.
She was combing her hair on her bed that night when she saw Zuko standing at the edge of the room watching her.
She had a golden chain on her neck that was about three fingers thick, her dress was tight and was made of some sort of clear fabric. Georgette perhaps? She was barefoot, and her hair was loose, a long chain was tied to each of the gold bracelets on her arms.
She didn't look like a princess, she looked like a… a woman of ill repute was the polite word for it.
Not only that, but she had Rubies in her hair that matched the scar — the scar. This isn't a dream if she has that disgusting scar. She never has a scar in her dreams.
Zuko smiled at her and removed a single stone from her hair, placing it on Azula's night stand. Azula rose up to catch her, To talk to her and beat some sense into her, but then she vanished, leaving behind a single crimson Jewel.
Azula shot a blue ball of fire at where Zuko stood a second ago
“Come back, you coward!” she shouted at nothing. She picked up the Rubies
“I don't want this, come back and take it, you hear me?! Leave stupid Sharo and all his jewels and come and fight me!” Azula screamed and then fell to her knees, “please don't leave me” she whispered at the small red stone in her palm.
That night, she saw mother for the first time
Ozai POV
That night the girl started fighting back against him when he took her.
At first, she would beg for a different punishment. To burned, whipped, exiled or jailed. Anything but that.
Then after he was done, she tried to attack him. As he was closing his robes, she jumped on him like a rabid animal, wrapping her hands around his throat. Her grip was weak, and he easily tossed her off him onto the floor, she let out a pained wail then attacked again.
He watched the girl train many times, he knew she had great fighting form, but she was attacking him like a beast, no tatic. no form and no paln.
Even her yells and cries became a mess of primal yelps and moans when he was pounding into her. Like a symphony to his ears. He smiled as he grabbed an open bottle of perfume, tossing the liquid at her, she hissed and rubbed her eyes but did not open them.
She leapt forward, arms stretched out to try to reach him. He easily avoided her blind blows, but she did manage to grab his beard and pull at it strongly, ripping long black hairs. He grunted in pain.
“How dare you?!” he punched her across the face, making her fall on her back, her lips split and dripping blood. She still tried to stand back up, feeling her way to some sort of spot away from him. He grabbed her from behind, clasping golden chains to her arms and tying them tightly to the bed. She let out some sort of animalistic grunts as she pulled on the chains
“EVEN THE WILDEST OF DRAGONS WERE BENT TO THEIR RIDER'S WILL” he shouted, finally putting his robes back on.
“And you, my love. Are no dragon.” he said, taking deep breaths. He looked at his daughter. She was on all fours, her eyes squinted and red, she was still pulling at the chains that were tied to the posts of the bed. Each one of her pulls becoming weaker. Until she stopped pulling
“smart girl. So you do learn.” he kissed the top of her head, and she shook herself away from him.
He smiled.
Chapter Text
Ozai POV
It must have started when the girl was 9 years of age and was laying in the garden upon her stomach reading a scroll.
The fire lilies were blooming around her, but he never cared for fire lilies.
She was taking in the sun in her summer clothing, her hair was highly done in a ponytail, and she was speaking to that oaf brother of his.
“Her porcelain skin would be ruined by the sun.” Ozai thought to himself. Azula never had her sister's porcelain skin… tho he never noticed his oldest and most dull, unbearable heir had the complexion of-
“my what an odd thing to think.” he thought once more as he looked at the girl. Has she always moved like this? Each time she moved, the sun would get caught in her raven hair, that would shimmer brighter than the gold decoration around her neck. And what a neck! Ozai could nestle in the stoop between her shoulder and head, perfectly shaped and fit for him. Her legs, stained by crushed grass under them, how easily he could crush those legs, his palm would wrap around them so easily, how easily he could force those apart... He took a few steps back to rip himself away from that pleasant fantasy before those thoughts caught up with him more... physically.
He felt fire start to burn faster within him. Bright and hot. He smiled to himself, imagining how scolding could the flame be.
The now 16 years old weeping princess under him was almost perfect. Her hair was just not long enough, her body too muscular, her skin not soft... He wished she would be as she was that day when the fire lilies bloomed.
Mu-la made miracles, and he was oh so pleased the girl's hair was so smooth her could barely grab it when he pulled on it, skin shimmered in the lights of the candles. Still, she was not perfect.
He ordered the girl not be sent any food for five days after she bit him rather harshly. "A lesson must be learnt" He thought. She was only being given water and juices from various fruits. When he stole to the chamber given to her after those five days, he traced a finger across the now thinner, frailer body.
The girl was paler, from her days in the room without sun and food. Her muscle tone was much weaker. He moved his hands across her ribs which he could now almost see she let out a little whimper of pain each time he did, like a marvellous tool of music, she was saying something again. Dear Agni, that child was a talker. For the first time he listened to what she was saying, perhaps her words would add to his delight.
She was begging him to stop,
"I will leave, go far away, you will never see me again." She said. What an odd thing to plea that was. He buried his nose into her neck, tasting her skin, she let out a choked scream. He rose up and looked at her face. The fire lord grew to like the scar, often tracing it with his palm, he lifted her chin up with a finger
"why would I want you to leave?" he asked she was panting trying to calm herself well enough to answer
"because you are punishing me. I have learnt my lesson, you were offended by my return. I shall leave, I swear it-"
"I am not mad at you my dear." he said, letting her go as she dropped on the mattress
"In fact, I have never been more pleased... even your own mother couldn't..." he let out a laugh, "you have a skill. Have I ever let a skill go to waste?" she did not answer him
"I asked you something sweet child." he said, she looked up slowly before shaking her head
"smart girl." he sat down on a large chair and picked up a cup of tea and a plate of fruit meats and bread. She notices the food. Rising up he knew she was starving, "you want the food girl? It won't come for free." she looked away. So she was not hungry enough. No matter, she would be.
"You... you wanted this Zuko I've seen the way you looked at me, you always had this hunger and pleading in you, you desired me, I could tell." he said, perhaps a bit too quickly. She didn't look at him
"your fatherly love was all I wanted. Not this. Never this" He tossed the tea cup on the floor, shuttering it, "THEN WHY DID YOU LIGHT THIS FIRE OF DESIRE AND SIN WITHIN ME?! WHY DID YOU SEDUCE ME THUS. TEMP WITH YOUR INNOCENCE! WITH YOUR PLUMP VIRGIN-" he stopped himself, taking a deep breath
" this will be easier for you if you stop battling me. A bride is happier than a whore."
Hadoka POV
He never thought of himself as a scary looking man. Actually, he thought of himself as a very! Handsome one, but that was not related to his current Issue.
The fire nation princess was absolutely terrified of him. She would tense up when he would move anywhere near her, never looked at his eyes, and always shifted uneasily when she saw him.
She would sleep as far away from him as she could without falling off the edge of the flying ship or air balloon or whatever that thing was called. And when he said "good job!" to her in their escape, she hugged herself so tightly that she began to shake so he pretended that sokka called him over, and she ran away from him.
How the hell could he scare a master fire bender who grew up in the figurative and literal lap of evil?
Well, the girl was having a nightmare. A horrible one, she was curled on her self gasping for air. She could not reach, wailing in misery, he grabbed her shoulders and shook her awake. She curled herself unusually as if trying to escape a snake, then crawled away from him on her back legs locked together. Taking a deep breath, she moved her hand across her clothing, making sure every garment was still in place.
Hadoka knew the horrors of war well enough to recognize such a reaction, he knew what some men did to scared girls in prisons. He felt his body tense.
"Easy! Here. I am backing away..." he said, falling to his knees and slowly crouching away, a though passed his mind about how he was reacting to the frightened girl as if she was a beast, a wounded beast.
~Not a frightened girl. A fire bender.~ He reminded himself. Her hands stopped moving in attempt to find bruisings on her neck and around her chest and slowly fell in her lap. She looked at him with narrowed golden eyes. The eyes of the Enemy
"I'm sorry" he said, walking up to her trying to find bruising on her, worry and fright rising in him.
"It's okay" he said, placing his palm on her shoulder. Damn this habit of his, his children found great comfort in it, so he was used to it. But she? She flinched from his touch, twisting her whole body, falling to the floor just to get away from him. She moved swiftly out of reach.
Panting as she crawled away from him again. Hadoka had no clue what to do. He has never seen someone act that way. She was now on her knees, using the knuckles of her hands to Ballance herself
"Leave" she whispered Hadoka looked at her "wait please, are you hurt? Did someone-"
"LEAVE!" she wailed, covering her ears with her palms. He walked to the door and slammed it close. OK, not the time. But he will have to deal with this when he can... Tui
" TUI and La..." he started, then stopped, having never prayed before, the notion felt odd and alien to him... would they even help an ash maker - fire nation girl
"Help these children..." he mumbled and left
Zuko POV
Zuko had a lovely dream. Her dream was simply replaying a memory. She was spying on Lu-ten when she was 10 years old, giggling as he flirted with a lady who fell for every cheesy line he threw at her. He heard her and shot up, "Zuko!" he called her and she ran. He chased her out into the garden.
"I spied a lady!" the young princess shouted, running away from him giggling, "another one! Another girl!" she jumped over a small pond "well Zuko there is a punishment for spying!" he said, she stopped "what punishment?" she asked frightened "Oh I think you know!" Lu ten said he chased her down and pushed her, she was laughing as he stuck his arm out and ruffled her hair.
"Can I come to your wedding?" she asked, teasing
"I'll never have a wedding, you know that." he said and Zuko nodded "oh yes, you'll only marry once the war is over, I know." she said "but why? Don't you want a great party thrown for you and a wife?" she asked he laughed "I have great parties thrown for me every year and I get plenty of- nope not answering that last part princess." he stated
"Well you will be welcome at my wedding, when do you think I'll marry?" she asked, sitting up he paled "Never if I can help it." he said, She rolled her eyes "I am almost grown now Lu ten." she said "You are ten years old." she squinted her eyes "I am in the double digits, like I said. Grown."
Zuko still spied on Lu ten, it wasn't her fault he was interesting! He was talking to someone she didn't see, "Uncle. Iv'e heard you plan to have Zuko married" Zuko ducked quickly. He was talking to her father, well shit.
She heard her father move "gossip moves quickly through the palace" He said, Zuko leaned against the inside of the bush ignoring the thorns poking her back... she would marry anyone he would ask! She held back an exited yelp. A chance for her to prove her worth! She would be a perfect bride, she decided right then.
"So it is true?! She must marry so soon?" he asked, "as of last night she became suitable to birth children and therefore suitable for marriage." Ozai said and Zuko squinted vaguely, remembering a servant going to tell her father while her mother helped wipe the blood and tried explaining while mumbling "it is too soon".
"Last night-oh... birth children?!" Lu Ten snapped back from his silence, "she is but a child herself, uncle..." Her father looked at him, "we are in a time of war, clearly Agni chose to give her talents girls her age do not have..." Zuko knew that if he was not talking to Lu Ten, he would have added that this is the only skill she possesses.
The dream changed again
She was walking in the garden later that day when she saw one of her father's female friends, a beautiful woman holding a bundle of fabric in her arms sitting while the royal painter drew her portrait
"she is beautiful..." Zuko said The painter nodded. The woman was indeed a beauty with the lightest skin and darkest hair Zuko had ever seen, "she is a lot more beautiful than in your portrait!" she said "I have just begun princess..." The painter said and she crossed her arms
"Then you must do better. Her hair is a lot shiner." she looked at the woman, "who are you?" she asked
" Toyi of the southern isles, at your service princess" The woman said, "why is the royal painter painting you Toyi of the southern isles?" the woman smiled slowly "Your father, his royal highness paid him too." Zuko found the idea odd but said nothing, she thought for a moment, "could he paint one of me?" Zuko asked, and Toyi looked up at her, making the painter say somthing about moving subjects. "I will pay him too. Your father never mentioned how lovely you are!" she said
"And why are you holding this bundle of fabrics?" Zuko asked The painter answered that he is using them as a placeholder for the turtle ducks he will add
"you can add those to your portrait? I would love a turtle duck!" she said grinning Toyi smiled at her "Or better yet. A dragon" Toyi said pointing at her complex hair pin in the shape of a dragon that was placed neatly in her even more coplex hair style.
"Oh yes. Just like this one" she said Toyi cupped her face "You must have it then princess it will look so beautiful on you" she said Zuko's eyes widened "I can?" Toyi removed the pin and placed it in Zuko's hair, "it is a gift. To mark out friendship... if we are to be friends"
Zuko smiled and kissed Toyi on her cheek a thing she heard was a symbol of friendship
"we are friends already!" Zuko said to her and then Toyi kissed Zuko's forehead
For some reason, Zuko's mother was very disturbed by the news of Zuko's new friendship and impending Marriage.
Notes:
sooo yeah I tried! hope you like this!
also I chose to base a bit of the fire nation on my own culture because we as writers must draw inspiration from places we know well.If I got anything wrong or something like this please do tell and thank you for all the love on this!
Chapter 9: A cage and a captain
Chapter Text
An:
I Actually realized that a relationship between Zuko and Mai wouldn't happen with my timeline because Zuko was trapped in her room almost right when she came back.
Also, for future plot points, Mai will be a male So will be referred to As Maiko!
Zuko POV
On the way to amber Island. Post jail and southern raiders' episode.
If it wasn't for Captain Maiko's horrible manners and general disslike for all creatures who lived and breathed, he would have been a very sought after young man.
He was the very handsome (or so others have called him. Zuko did not find him handsome. Not one bit. Nope. Not at all) firstborn son of a very rich family with an impressive and promising career. A patron of the arts and science. And the most unbearable creature the young princess ever met.
He did not smile or dance, he went to bed at 10 past 9 and the closest thing to a compliment he had ever given her was telling her she was almost tolerable.
Almost. When they were on the ship back to the fire nation. Zuko did not take that as a compliment.
“You are unbearable. Stop talking to me.” she told him most eloquently before getting up from her seat and making a big show of moving to sit away from him.
On their days-long trip back home, she and him got into argument after argument over everything. An argument that they never resolved, both of them sulking away in the shade mumbling about how idiotic the other is.
She didn't know why she kissed Captain Maiko on his cheek that day
The day she finally reached fire nation shores. She hated that man, she had finished comparing his personality to a soggy chunk of bread when this urge overcame her.
She wanted to tell him she didn't mean anything by that kiss the next day.
She said it to herself Again when she crawled into bed.
“It was just a friendly thank you for bringing me home. Nothing more.” she mumbled
She was woken up by her father walking into her room that night
rubbing her eyes, she slowly recognized the tall man
“My lord. Is everything OK?” she asked him, climbing off her bed
“You said you wished for words.” he told her. She looked down, “I have words,”
She never spoke to Maiko the next morning or the morning after that.
“Aang I swear to all the gods if you call me sifu hotman one more time I will burn off your eyebrows” Aang frowned “that's not very flameo of you Zukk.”
“Don't ever call me that. Come on, the sun is setting in fifth stance again. Wider stance—no, not that wide, you are not having a dance off with the fire lord.” Kattara chuckled, “Huh, your dad is big on dancing?” Zuko crossed her arms, “No. He hates dancing.” Zuko said
“Does he also hate joy and whimsy?” Sokka asked, laughing, “Very much so.” Toph grinned, “He sounds charming.”
“I don't want to talk about him.” Zuko cut them off as they began walking back to the house as the sun was setting, and she signalled to Aang that training was over for today.
Zuko enjoyed being with them more than whatever was left of her pride could bring her to say.
She felt like she belonged, like she was slowly becoming a whole.
She hated that house.
“Zuko your face was so round it actually crazy” Kattara said, looking at a baby portrait of her
“Is that your mum? She was so pretty” Suki said, Zuko smiled “she is.” she said “Your dad looks… angry” Sokka said, looking at the largest portrait.
“He is.”
That night, she slowly removed all the portraits, tossing them into the fire. She watched that man's face slowly turn into charred, faceless coal. The wind rustled her hair, she wrapped her hands around herself. Everything was too much. The fire was too hot. The wind too strong and loud. The mere sensation of her hair rubbing against her lower back. Like his hands, like his lips like-
She fell onto her knees her hands over her ears her nails dug into the tender skin of her misshapen ear drawing blood she looked as her tears darkened the sand below her
Why is she in misery. Why does she feel so revolting and dirty? While he only felt joy and Agni, damn it, pure pleasure. He would smile, So happily, would pat her hair and tell her she was beautiful and skilled. A prodigy. She fell forward, panting, leaning against a rock to avoid falling fully into the sand. She looked at the water.
“Agni…” she mumbled but praying never helped her before. So she did the only thing she knew how. Got up and walked back.
She hadn't noticed the two spirits watching her, the blue and white one smiling
“poor child. Sweet child I almost feel bad for her” Blue said “You do?” white asked cackling he shook his head
“Nope! Everything is going according to plan.” he said, tuning into a bird
“In less than a year we shall have all that we want, my love” The white spirit smiled, turning into a snake.
“Indeed.”
None of them said anything when the next day all the portraits were gone, nor about Zuko's red, swollen eyes.
Ozai POV
a few weeks ago
Ozai liked to believe he tried to resist his urges. His greatest act of resistance was burning the girl's face. He enjoyed her face and would never willingly part with something he enjoyed.
That was why he ordered the girl to not cut and shave her hair into the traditional hair cut for someone who lost an Agni Kai. He wanted the girl to be publicly shamed, but he wanted her to remain pretty.
The lady Toyi was putting on her robes.
“You do not enjoy my body as much as you enjoy hers” she said, stating a fact
“I am not offended, she is a fine girl. A little Naive and dizzy, you know. Too much like a wide-eyed child for my taste, but to each his own.” Ozai rolled his eyes, “There is nothing child like about her” He said, leaving the bed to get a drink
“I believe everything beside her body is child like. Which is just why you want her so badly.” Ozai looked at her. Her defiance was a great mystery to him, but he enjoyed talking to lady Toyi almost as much as he would enjoy talking to a man.
"I myself am very fond of your eldest daughter. She is perhaps a bit too eager to be my friend but I think she is a very comforting girl." Toyi said
"You see her as comfort too considering you call out her name and not mine" she said with an amused smile
“A new task force has been hired to find her. Led by Captain Maiko whoever that is” Ozai said, placing his crown perfectly in his hair.
Maiko POV
“The girl is an infection, a plague, and a traitor. You will not hold back, but you will bring her to me. Unharmed.” He said
Maiko did not expect the fire lord to be fatherly and sentimental. But calling his daughter a plague was odd.
Not that Maiko liked the princess very much. He thought she was boring and dull and far too quick to anger. (He didn't at all spent many of his waking hours picturing the way her hair would flow in the wind. Not at all.)
“Yes my lord.” Ozai looked at him, “Capture her.”
Maiko began riding towards where she was reported to have been last. Ozai gave him 20 men and a cage. Small and round like a bird's cage. The fire lord told him to bring his lord's daughter home in a cage.
“Just follow orders, Maiko.” he told himself, avoiding looking at the cage…
Chapter 10: A coward and a monster
Notes:
Hey guys this chapter was def not my best but I have been struggling with writing lately!
And with English it is a beautiful language but it is one hard language.
TW
Torture
(and Ozai. Cuz I hate him :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Maiko POV
Sneaking into her room when she was sleeping and placing a knife against her throat was a cowardly move.
He knew that.
She looked very peaceful when she was sleeping.
She was still in her swimsuit. A simple red one that wasn't made of expensive fabric like what she normally wore.
She still had some sand on her. When her face was not stuck in a growl or when it wasn't red from shouting, she had very delicate features. That wouldn't do, he couldn't kidnap her — not kidnap. Take her back home. When she looked so harmless
“You aren't the most popular person in the palace right now, are you, princess?”
He asked, to wake her up. He would not attack a sleeping opponent.
Zuko woke up and began to try to wiggle out of Maiko's grasp, making the knife against her throat cut the skin, leaving a small red line right under her jaw. The blood dripping down to his palms as he tried to hold her down
Zuko looked at him before breathing out a ball of fire. He quickly hopped off her and patted his sleeves, putting out the fire. She shot up, charging at him
“So, came to drag me back home in chains?” she asked, aiming a kick towards him, he barely avoided ducking down.
“Cage actually. Why the hell would you leave your father, Zuko? After all that, you went through to win him over. Whatever Balance this world once had is long gone, don't fight battles you can't win.” He said. As dull and blankly as ever, but some actual worry did creep into his voice, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. He tossed a knife at her while talking, ripping the side of her swimming skirt and leaving a thin, long red line on her upper thigh. She let out a small hiss
Fuck, he was supposed to bring her without as much as a scratch. That was two scratches so far.
“You are such a good soldier. Worried only about winning a fight, not about why it's happening in the first place!” she shouted at him and moved her arms, creating a fireball that quickly disappeared before falling on her knees. “What-” he lifted his knife to the light of the moon, “my Aunt runs a flower shop, don't worry this is just some hen bane and poppy.” Maiko said, looking at the two cuts. This was not great.
She looked at him with eyes filled with blazing hatred before standing up again, fighting the poison with pure spite
“Coward” she said before stumbling again. And falling to the ground, he walked up to her and picked her up, placing on hand on her back and the other behind her knees. “I know.” Her head fell away, hair draping down like a black waterfall. He walked back to the window when he heard the door open.
He was out of the window before he could see whoever that was.
Zuko POV
Zuko was trapped in a state of blissful unawareness somewhere between sleep and, well... she was never really awake.
She didn't remember being taken and placed in a cage, but she must have been, because she woke up in one for a few moments before falling back into that all consuming fog.
She didn't mind it.
She didn't mind anything, she felt so calm and happy.
She began to dream.
“Here you are” Zuko said, hugging Lu ten “Here I am” He said, smiling as she sat in front of him next to the pond
“have you heard the news ?” Lu ten laughed, “What news? You know the news changes by the hour in Caldera.” Zuko laughed. “My news” she said. “You have news?” He asked amused. She nodded “I am to be married” she told him joyfully, and he froze “really?” He asked and Zuko nodded, “You know I heard that in other nations a man can take more than one wife.” Lu ten shook his head
“Not wives. Concubines.” Zuko blinked “and what is the difference?” she asked he stood up and began walking towards the garden, and she followed “you can beat a wife, but not kill her” Zuko stopped “You can kill a concubine?”
“If she displeases you. You can kill a wife, too, only if she greatly upsets you.” Zuko looked at her cousin, “I will not be beaten” she proclaimed, and he smiled “of course not, princess, you are the most beautiful treasure in this palace. And if your husband beats you, I'll kill with my bare hands. No fire no dagger no sword.” Zuko smiled and kissed his cheek, “Then I shall feel no fear on my wedding day” she said
“Tell him that, If he hurt you I will give you his heart on a plate” he said and Zuko smiled, “Thank you”.
.....................................................................
Then the fog disappeared and she began to feel things again. The return was not welcome. She noticed her bed was not soft. Nor was it a bed. She was sleeping on a very wet dirt. She opened her eyes as fast as she could in her tired state, which was very slow.
She looked down. She wore a white dress made of thin cheep cotton that had short shapeless sleeves. It was tied to her waist with a rope. Her shoes were gone, and the ribbon she used to tie her hair was gone as well.
“Do you feel as uncomfortable as you look?” A voice asked a voice inside her cell. She didn't need to look to know who it was.
She couldn't move. There was nothing holding her back, but she couldn't move. She looked up at him. He looked tired. He had large bags under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken in.
“White always makes you look sickly, It never suited you. The colour of death…” She managed to get up, stepping as far away from his as she could without backing away into a corner.
“I can still save you Zuko.” he pulled out of one of the folds of his ornate robes a scarf, one made of thin gold lurex fabric, a scarf that her maids would use when dabbing on her liquid perfume. He lifted it up and showed it to her as if showing her a treasure.
“It wasn't enough just to have you... I need you to love me. To choose to be mine”
“Why me? I don't understand why me, of all people?!”
“I don't know. I wish I did.” He sounded demanded. It must drive him crazy to not be able to possess something he wants. “Sometimes we are drawn to the very things that repel us”
She looked at him, “You are a monster…”
He must be. A spirit. A demon. A monster.
He grabbed her, pushing her against the bars. Her legs not touching the ground, and his grip was the only thing preventing her from falling.
“No, Zuko… these past months have taught me that I am more human than I thought… I have needs… I feel love, as all men do. And I want for you to live, please do not make me do this to you. Choose me.” his grip hardened, his fingers digging into her arms, “Love me.” He told her. She began to push him away, screaming her pushed her down, “Love me!” he commanded, reaching for the edge of her gown. She kicked and screamed, managing to land a kick flat on his nose, causing him to drop her. She crawled to the wall away from that demon, “PLEASE HELP!” she screamed. Surely there was a guard. A maid. A cleaner. Somebody. Anybody. No one answered. No one heard her.
"I need to touch you, To see if you have been tainted by the outside world, see if I would find you identical with the ideal image of you which had remained with me and perhaps shatter my dream with the aid of reality. you feel as soft. Smell as sweet and you must taste the same as I remember.
There is nothing that you could ask for that I would refuse. All the riches of the world at your fingertips!” he said, She shook her head, “in a week it will be your wedding or your funeral. You decide which.” He reached a hand out for her, and she crawled away, “Tonight, you could be my bride.” he said
She stood up slowly. He smiled she looked at him, slowly walking up to her stopping when she spat in his face “I'd rather die!”
His smile turned into a scowl, and she felt her body fall to the floor before she felt the sting on her cheek.
“What have I done to you… that you hate me so much?” she asked, he kept walking towards her. Even thought he was so close. How much closer could he get? Was he expacting them to become one? She was trying to get up again. “No… I love you even now in these rags, you are the most beautiful creature in this world. My world as it soon will be…
When you returned to me so young. So soft, so beautiful. My spitting image. My beloved daughter, I was enchanted… you have bewitched me.” he was kneeling next to her now cupping her face with his hands.
“My chambers have been so cold and dark, as if the fire himself had left them. You have awakened in me all that should have stayed dormant.”
Zuko looked at him, “You will die tomorrow. You really shouldn't spend your last day in a jail cell, Ozai.” He rose up.
“I really hoped you'd be more easily persuaded.” he pushed her down, She was face down on the ground He drew in a slow breath placing his foot on the nape of her neck, he leaned forward and grabbed the collar of her dress and ripped it so her back was bare. She felt something leathery run slowly along her back, she whimpered weakly. He raised the whip and a loud crack filled the air as the skin on her back tore, she bit her lip, feeling hot tears run down her cheeks. “Changed your mind?” She hissed a curse at him dirt filling her mouth as she was gasping for air, he grunted, “You only make this.” Another loud crack and the sting of pain. “Harder” Another “for yourself” another she cried into the dirt. He let go of the whip, removing his foot from her nape, she stayed on the ground weeping weakly. She heard him step towards a table and pour himself a glass of water. She heard him draw a knife and weakly turned her self to see him begin to cut a lemon. He drank the water and took the lemon, stepping over to her
“Have you changed your mind?” He asked she spat out dirt, “Never.” He let out a sigh, taking the lemon and squeezing it onto the fresh scars. She gasped in pain, he tossed the squired lemon onto the dirt.
“In case you get hungry.” He slammed the barred doors of the cell and "Really more them you deserve for all you did. Consuming my waking days. Making captain Maiko betray me... You landed him in prison you cruel girl." He told her. She had no idea what he was talking about but it didn't matter. She never did.
Zuko rested her back against the cold stone walls as she drew a sharp shallow breath.
It was all a dream. A terrible, Horrible dream.
Tomorrow she will wake up in her bed and she will hear wonderful stories from Lu ten. Her mother will comb her hair and she will play in the gardens with Maiko Azula and Ty lee until all her clothing is stained with crushed grass.
She could almost taste the tea uncle would make her. hear the awful jokes Sokka will share. It almost felt real.
The pain was real. So was the shame. And the dirt filling her mouth with a bitter enveloping taste.
Notes:
This took so long to write and I changed it like 1000000000 times.
Chapter 11: Not for the same reasons
Chapter Text
TW. This chapter and the following will discuss thoughts and attempts of suicide
Read with care
Ozai POV
The wounds on her back have become infected.
It was a problem. Not because she was delirious and feverish. Because it meant it will be awhile before he could her on her back again. Her cheeks were flashed, and she drifted in and out of states of awareness. He placed his hand around her throat.
He will be free of her. This poison filling him will die with her. He squeezed her neck
It was so white just by dragging his nail against her collarbone he could leave a thin red line, how easily she could be marked by him. Eyelids like two rose petals. One white one red, when they would flutter open her eyes would look at him with horror.
Her body trembled with tender disquiet.
When she would awake, she would cry with terror. She cried out whenever his name was spoken. He brushed his finger against her lips, that parted slightly under his touch.
Perhaps she could give him a new name. A name she will like, She will not spit that name out like it was acid on her plump dark lips, she would bathe in the sound of it and wrap herself in it.
She twitched under his grasp. Was she awake and pretending not to be?
“I am not here to hurt you. I will be leaving soon and wondered if had reconsidered”
A pained whimper, “you could change me. As I you. Every woman has the power to make beautiful the man she loves.” she was still pretending to be asleep…
he placed an arm under her lower back, feeling the blood warm him, he drew her into his lap, making her whimper again, but her eyes remained shut and her body limp. Perhaps she was actually sleeping
“It does not have to be this way.” Not a movement. He grunted. The comet was nearing.
He placed her on the stone plank she would use as a bed. He ran his hands down her white neck, ripping a long line down the filthy rags. While lifting her closer to him with a hand on her back. He ran his nail along the large swell of her breasts, white flesh supple and firm.
"The wonders of youth…" he said. Letting go of her. Her body dropped to the plank as discarded and used and the peel of a fruit.
“Such a troublesome child… that is the reason your mother adored you. You were a weak baby that had to be coddled and nursed. A screaming infant who was constantly sick and a toddler bumbling and falling. You needed her, you struggled and cried.
Mothers are always…” his speech faltered, he stabilized himself against the wall with an open palm
“Mothers are often fondest of the child which has caused them the greatest pain. And Azula was an easy prodigy. Azula didn't need Ursa. It showed Ursa how truly useless she was! But you made her feel like she mattered. Like she had a purpose. But she didn't, and you don't- We don't need her, do we Zuko?” He was on his knees now, ignoring the mud sticking to him. His hands rested in Zuko's lap, “I wanted to name you Ilah after My mother… but father refused.” Ozai laughed, despite finding nothing funny.
Zuko POV
She pulled at the dress trying to make it close, it was so ripped it was useless.
Zuko felt the comet passing over them. It didn't matter, the Dungeon was too far underground for her to actually use it. Could she even use bending? She lifted her hand up.
“Why even try.” she wondered out loud, “I would only make things worst…”
She had to believe in Aang. That he would have courage. That he could win… Because she knew what she must do if he didn't.
And it scared her that she felt almost eager to do it. She would feel so free if she was dead, And so clean.
Her body would be burned like her grandfather's was. The fire will burn him off of her.
She feared she will do it even if they won.
She knew she would do it even if they won.
Perhaps That all consuming fear will disappear with time. Like all extremes do. She wondered which will disappear first. The fear, or her.
“I was never planning of actually bringing you here.” a voice spoke from a cell beside her, she knew that voice.
“I was planning on pretending you escaped and brining you back to the house on amber island.”
“Why should I believe you?” She placed her head between her knees, wishing they shared a cell so she could relive her nerves by kicking that idiot.
“I don't know. I was never one to disobey. Perhaps I wasn't that good of a soldier” he mused, “You won't except 'I don't know' as an answer…” He added laughing
“this really isn't the time for you to learn how to feel joy, Maiko.” she said, “but you are right for once. I want a real answer. I think you owe me this, you are the reason I am here.”
“I didn't want you to die.” He said, sounding as if he had thought about this moment many times. Every word measured. “Why?”
“I-.” he went quiet, she grunted, he was so infuriating!
“When your father heard of my betrayal he scowled and said 'so she had bewitched you too' that also… strengthened my decision…”
She held her breath, waiting for him to continue, to be disgusted with her. She wouldn't blame him, she was disgusted with herself, “I assumed that was the case.” He said, “My mother would always say she hoped you'd grow to be an ugly woman so he will stop looking at you that way. I didn't know what she meant back then… of course there is also the matter of the brothels”
“Are you calling me a whore?”, she didn't argue or feel offended. It wasn't his fault if he thought so… anyone would. She bit her lips, hugging her knees tighter, he made a sound that made her assume he was rose from the floor and leaned against the wall they shared.
“It is a well known fact that if women in the brothels he visited wanted to be selected by him, she needed to look a certain way. Hallow cheeks, a sharp jaw and long straight nose arched thick eyebrows and pale eyes, and black hair. There was an up charge if they had gold eyes… In other words… look like you. I didn't believe it. No one did, but I heard what he was saying to you when he came in and…” He stopped talking. Maybe he had nothing more to say, Maybe he didn't want to say it.
“Do you think… it's my fault?” she didn't know why she was asking him. She hated him And he hated her, but he was the first — No the only person who would ever know about it.
“It isn't a matter of thinking. He is a monster. You did nothing.” Maiko said, and Zuko dragged her bare foot along the dirt.
“Okay” she mumbled, resting her head on the wall as she felt the comet pass over them, “It will soon be over. The war. One way or another, it will be the end.” He said. Was he trying to cheer her up? Or tease her?
“No… I don't think this war will end anytime soon, Maybe it never will. But if Aang wins, I will ask my uncle to spare your life even though you attacked me in my sleep and placed me in a cage” She said, she needed him to stop talking about her father. She hated it.
He laughed, “Trying to use that coal chunk you call a heart, princess?” A part of her felt so much calmer when she realized he was still acting the same. No pity, maybe she required pity, but she certainly didn't want it.
“At least my name isn't Maiko.”
“Huh? What does that have to do with anything?!”
“It's a stupid name.”
“ It's a great name, Zuko”
“It has no meaning. My name means Glory.” She said the sarcastic way he said her name made her stomach twist, in a what decided was hatred, even thought it felt too pleasant to be hatred.
“I'm sorry.” she said. He moved, she heard his clothing rustle in the deafening silence, “about what? You didn't actually hurt my feelings…”
“That I am so stupid… That I messed everything up, that I made you betray him and lose a promising career. That I made you end up in a cell.” He was saying something. She heard it, but it was completely irrelevant, she couldn't make out a single word. She could barely stay awake, “I know you think I am a stupid little girl. I think so too but not for the same reasons.” she said and then took in a slow agonizing breath. Everything was horribly painful.
Time passed. She didn't know if it was minutes or days. She was never awake for long.
It felt like her skin was too tight. Her whole body was burning.
“I'm sorry I kissed you” she hummed feverish and delirious, he said something. She didn't understand it, “it hurts… why does it always hurt?”
She took in a laboured breath.
She expected everything to go black. But it didn't she stayed awake for what felt like years. Curled into a ball, barely breathing. She didn't know if she was crying, she was too covered in mud and blood to tell one liquid from the other.
Chapter 12: The rambelings of a madman.
Notes:
Explaining the timeline real quick.
Ozai SA's Zuko for the first time the day she returns to the fire nation after betraying Iroh in ba sing Se. She escaped him and joined the gaang the day of the black sun. Like in the show.
And was taken back to the fire nation a day after the southern raiders' episode.Anything from Zuko's POV will be a little unreliable detail wise because her memory is a wreck.
This chapter will have pretty gross descriptions read at your own risk.
Chapter Text
Iroh POV
16 years ago on the coldest day of winter.
Iroh was tired the day Zuko was born.
It was a cold winter day and it rained. Back then, he hated the rain, but he curiously looked at his brother. For a man who was about to become a father, he seemed completely consumed by the shogi game he was playing. A game so similar to pai sho, that Iroh was certain Ozai believed in the superiority of Shogi out of pure spite.
“You should be with your wife, Ozai.” Iroh said placing the tile down
“She has plenty of doctors around her. It isn't like I can force the child out.” Iroh sighed, Ozai looked up from the tiles.
“She is young and healthy. Your wife was old and sick, She'll live” Iroh opened his mouth when a servant came rushing in
“Prince Ozai the fire sages wish to talk to you!”
Ozai stood up and walked out without biding his brother goodbye.
He visited a few hours later. Ursa was smiling but avoided looking at her husband, who seemed displeased with something
“Ursa, you look as lovely as ever. Motherhood suits you” Ursa leaned back on her pillows, managing to look both half asleep and tense“They took her to make sure she is alright, but she is doing better thank Agni.”
“She? A girl?”
Ozai nodded
Iroh smiled, “what happy news. Have you thought of a name?”
Ursa gawked, “isn't it a bit early to decide?”
“Nonsense, I knew Lu ten was Lu ten as soon as I laid eyes on him. Not that there is any shame in taking your time” He chuckled
“Zuko.” Ozai said, placing his hand on his wife's shoulder. She filched to Iroh's discomfort.
“Zuko? Isn't that a boy's name.”
“Father refused Ilah” that was not an answer to his question. But Ozai never really answered his questions
“Princess Zuko. I'm certain she will be a beauty like her mother. I'll go tell Lu ten the good news. Coagulations to the two of you.” He reached out to hug Ozai, but Ozai seemed lost in thought.
The present. Three days after the comet.
Iroh was tired the day he became fire lord.
The white Lotus had successfully liberated Ba Sing Se, and Iroh was on a stolen air ship on the way back to the royal palace. With the war over, Azula locked up he had little to do but think.
When he heard that Zuko has joined the Avatar, a calm washed over him.
Like the foamy waves crashing on the shore. The rising sun hidden by the trees or the steam from a freshly brewed cup of coffee, he felt calm.
He slept well for the first time in three years.
And then the white lotus came to search for the Avatar, and he was told Zuko was taken
Taken to her father
In a cage.
Her destiny. The one had work prayed bled and burned for was snatched away from her palms by her father's ever greedy grasp.
He had to believe she lived. He had to.
By the time he reached the palace, the children were already there. They told him Aang took Ozai's bending, so the man was still alive.
Iroh didn't know whether he believed Ozai deserved to live.
He felt as if his body and mind only half functioned. His mind was flooded with horrible possibilities. Ozai might have killed her. Iroh knew that. But he feared he might have done worst.
Iroh nodded to the anxious Avatar and smiled. As calm as an old wise man should be
“Good job Avatar… The world can finally heal. Now for all of you kids.” Sokka quirked up to claim he was not a kid anymore and Iroh nodded
“Rest. I think I'll speak with him myself.”
They only spoke of finding Zuko. Not of if they would find her alive. Only when. He found himself smiling at their uninformed hopefulness. At least not all of it has vanished from the world.
The walk to the prison felt like it took years.
Prison rags suited Ozai far more than a crown ever did.
“If you tell me where she is, I will let you live.”
Ozai looked up at him through once sleek hair, his eyes seemed demented, but his voice was as silky and confident as ever.
“She was born empty. She had no spark in her eyes, no fighting spirit. She was blue and silent.” Ozai stated as if he was telling him a bedtime story. Or a fable with a moral. Another none-answer
He raised his hand and drew a circle around his neck,“ The umbilical cord was wrapped around her throat. Perhaps it would have been better if she had died that day.
She was supposed to be great! She was born of a prophecy, the first connection between the blood of Agni and the avatar, but she was Nothing.”
Iroh looked at him, “You don't have times for your own games, Ozai. The executioners axe has been dry for far too long.”
“She would become the people she adored. She had no values of her own. As a little girl, she did what her mother did. She would embroider and study the arts. Then she took up swords to be like her beloved Lu-Ten. And when they both were gone she strived to be like that lady of the court, And then she tried to grow into the role of princess to be me. But she couldn't. She couldn't be like any one of us.” He looked up
“She was an empty space. She needed to become something”.
This seemed like a complement, “So you could fill her with your greatness?” Iroh asked irritated.
“I did.” he gleamed with joy
Iroh flinched away from the bars, 'I did? What does that mean?' he thought
“have you gone mad?”
“Like Azula? Of course, she went mad. She was born full. She was lucky. Azula had skill and power and a self. She never tried to be something other than the greatest. The best.”
“I don't care about any of what you have to say Ozai I need to find Zuko.”
“She is not yours, Iroh. No matter how you tell her you think of her as your own, she herself knows she will never live up to the perfect dead Lu ten. She died believing you hated her.”
Iroh stepped away from the bars of the cell, “You were always a liar Ozai, but now you're a powerless liar”
“I didn't kill her, Iroh. She died due to her stubbornest. It was a tragedy I wish I could have avoided. I truly believed the Agni Kai would have showed her what respect is! At least I wished it.” He smiles. That awful snake like grin he got from his father.
“I wish I could be there when you find her.
Her hair will surly be matted and stuck to her body.
Her body covered in blood and mud, her face coated in bruises and dust. Those beautiful golden eyes now milky, open and unseeing.
Her lips and cheeks… well if they won't be fully rotten by the time you find her… they would be completely white, You have seen bodies before, I am certain.
Her body will be bloated and discoloured, her head was twisted unnaturally the shoulders dislocated her legs crossed over each other.
Little larvae must be gnawing at her back by now, flies landing on her eyes. You won't be able you recognize her if not for the scar. Kill me if you wish. It won't bring her back.”
Iroh didn't even cut his crazed rant.
Because he believed him.
And the far too familiar fist of grief clenched around him.
The walk back from the jail felt like it took seaconds.
All he could do is remember taking his little girl to the festival on the longest day of the year. How she so eagerly wanted him to buy her a paper dragon. But was too prideful to ask for one.
He bought her three.
He found himself in her room.
She must have returned to her room when she retuned to the fire nation. The bed was unmade, but the room was the same as it was when she was 13.
A big Ivory box beside her bed held all her toys. She claimed she was too old to have them displayed, but couldn't bring herself to get rid of them.
Next to her bed on the table sat a hair comb he didn't recognize with artistic cravings of cats owls and fox swans chasing each other.
He looked at the three crumpled paper dragons who sat next to a music box.
Their music box.
He gifted her that box when Azula was born.
He remembered taking her away to her room to bring her that gift.
“Your mum and dad will be busy with your new sister, so if you ever struggle to sleep, this will play a lullaby to sooth you to sleep.”
“Do I have to share this?”
“No. But you should, it would be the nice thing to do.”
“But I want this to be all mine!”
“Alright princess Zuko. Only if you promise to be a good sister to the new baby” she was growing a little spoiled, but what was the harm in that! She was an absolute ray of sunshine in their family.
She nodded eagerly, “promise! Promise”
He showed her how to twist the top of the box until she hears three clicks, and then she needs to place it in her open palm, and it would spin slowly playing the ballad of the shy sun. Simple children's song about a sun who was too shy to rise and needed the people to sing to her each morning.
The box was dusty, The whole room was dusty. The bed was messy, the bottom sheet was missing, and the blankets were pushed to the side. The room must have been blocked off. The servants weren't allowed into it.
He truly hoped Ozai has gone mad.
But despite that. He was too scared to give out an order. To start the search. Because uncertainty seemed so much better than the certainty of death.
“So, what did Ozai say?” Iroh turned to face the young earth bender, “nothing worthwhile. The rambling of a madman aren't worth your time young Toph.” she walked into Zuko's room picking up the comb “She was so scared of him… whenever we mentioned him she would-her heart would beat so quickly I thought she was going to pass out… I didn't like that.”
“My brother is… He did not deserve the blessing of parenthood.”
“You know, Katara and sokka are very similar. In little ways like how they hold themselves. Zuko and Azula don't have that.”
Iroh wanted to have something wise to say. He couldn't bring himself to speak. He couldn't comfort her. Couldn't function until he saw Zuko.
“I think you should go to bed.” He said, cutting into her ramble. What she rambled about he didn't know as he didn't listen to her.
Maiko POV
Dying was far more boring than what Maiko Imagined. There was no light or life flashing before his eyes. He was just thirsty and tired and couldn't think of anything beside his hunger. He had never been Hungry a day in his life.
It was horrible
He felt in pain and dirty. Not at all the sweet relief he was told he would get.
Maiko thought he was already dead until the guards dragged him up. Away from that cold muddy moldy cell
His body felt so heavy. He was barely able to open his eyes.
He felt like a primate. Unable to string and hold a thought, only able to focus and the fact that he wanted to go back to sleep.
He could see Zuko. Only her hair as the rest of her was hidden by a guard and a red cape that was wrapped around her.
Maybe it wasn't guards, maybe it was spirits taking the form of something familiar. Spirits taking them to the spirit world
What-ever. He should go to sleep again, it would help with the hunger.
He wondered if there was food in the spirit realm. Maiko hopes he will see Zuko there.
Perhaps it won't be that bad if he saw her there. He liked her.
He would miss Ty lee and Tom-Tom...
The world dimmed slowly as they carried them somewhere. He didn't care where that somewhere was.
Chapter 13: Birth
Notes:
Explaining the timeline real quick.
Ozai SA's Zuko for the first time, the day she returns to the fire nation after betraying Iroh in ba sing Se. She escapes him and joined the gaang the day of the black sun. Like in the show.
And was taken back to the fire nation a day after the southern raiders episode.I am sorry if the plot or timeline is confusing. It is that way both due to my immense struggle with the English language. And my affection for storied that are told thought mismatched bits and parts.
The story is also told this way because I try to convey the confusion and feeling of loss that Zuko is feeling, as is she drifting in between harrowing waves,
Chapter Text
Maiko POV
he would forever remember when he talked to Zuko just before she bled to death in her cell.
“Maiko” She spoke to him, he leaned against the stone
“yes?”
“why did you bring me here?”
“Tom Tom.”
“Tom tom? what is that?”
“My brother. Who Your sister was holding as a security deposit on my compliance with your retrieval.”
“Kidnapping” she corrected
“My plan was to pretend like you overpowered me and ran away. I couldn't refuse the task of kidnapping you because they would kill tom-tom. And I couldn't bring you back here…
I was going to make sure my men saw me taking you from your room, and then I was going to go to the woods, pretend I got lost and you woke up. Fought me. Won. And escaped. Then I would bring you back to your room on Ember island.”
He didn't know what to do with his hands. Now that he had no knife to play with.
“That was a very bad plan.”
“I was never good at plans. Azula made the plans I just threw knives.”
“So how did the plan fail?”
“Well after I took you from your room as I was going towards the woods to get 'lost'“ he air quoted “I felt this terrible coldness and then… There was this flash of light… but it wasn't fire, it was blue and white… And it was blinding. When it vanished, I was standing in front of all of my men.”
“White and blue? Are you sure?”
“No, not really, it was a smear of light…”
“And I did the first thing I could think of and tried to fight all of them.
I took down 10, but they overpowered me and threw me in a cell.”
“Is Tom tom okay?”
“I don't know.”
“I'm sorry that you are here because of me.”
“No… I'm here because of Ozai. We are all here because of Ozai.”
She used to speak of him as if he was light, a justice himself. 'My father' she would say with the caution of someone speaking to Agni. Now she spoke of him as if he was the root of all darkness and evil. An all-powerful monster.
Maiko of course agreed with that. Ozai was a monster. But the change was jarring.
Maiko hated the emptiness between his fingers. He needed something… anything. To fiddle with.
It kept his mind quiet.
“It was only because I didn't know.” He said, “You know, my dad worships him… My mum too.” She chuckled a horrible dry sound. She spoke her voice weaker with every word
“The eternal flame… The fire lord… The eyes and ears of Agni in this world.
I would tell myself after the Agni Kai that I deserve this. The pain. The loss of an eye and an ear because I was blind and deaf to his wisdom… That night-no. For many nights I would wonder how I offended him to deserve it… I still want to know what I did.” She said
“16 years of my life. Spent worshipping him. Following him around, trying my hardest to make him love me. Well, I guess I never needed to try.”
She grunted “Is your back OK?” she huffed “let's talk about something else”
“how was the food on amber island? As good as you remembered?”
“It was less spicy than I remembered… It was the first time I ate fire nation food in a while and I expected to feel the burn but… nothing.”
“So the food was bad?”
“No, it was good, just… not as hot as I remembered. I was expecting the burn” she repeated
She went quiet after that. He assumed she fell asleep.
He watched the sun rise and set three times through the cracks in the ceiling. But no guards came.
Ozai never returned either.
Zuko didn't wake up again no matter how loudly he yelled her name
General POV
General Iroh- Or Fire lord Iroh entered his palace two days after fire lord Ozai was defeated. And He was the first fire lord to work his hardest not to remain one. The second he entered the palace, he set out a search party for the princess.
No stone unturned, no room unchecked, he made it clear she would be fire lady.
Every single able man or woman gave whatever free time they had to the search. For their sweet princess who burnt for them.
But none were able to find her.
Not a single prayer to Agni was spoken that did not contain her name. Not a single fire nation citizen believe the war over until she is found.
Well… some did believe it over, for they believed her to be dead. But seldom did those who believed in the death of national martyrs speak their thoughts on such matters aloud.
Oh! And a martyr she was. And a myth in her own right.
A fire bender born during winter. During a storm? That was Unheard of.
A girl with the sun in her eyes, the night in her hair and the moon in her skin? Poetic.
A royal who was loved by her staff and would burn and rot for her people.
But some things about the one eyed princess were odd.
Zuko was rarely discussed. Those who believed in the unsophisticated ways of the old world would tell in a knowing yet hushed tone that she would bring you bad luck. (or good luck. Rumours are nothing if not inconsistent.)
The Royal family loved nothing more than to parade themselves. To leave their mark on every single man or woman's mind. So to hide your eldest daughter away for no reason was unnatural for fire lord Ozai.
To be banished then come back only to once again be hidden from the public eye and then have the largest bounty on her head with express instructions that she is not to be harmed in any way. It was nonsense. It was like a nursery rhyme you told your daughters and sons if they doubted the fire lord loved them.
That once upon a time a princess burnt for them.
And yet she was real. And she had burnt for them. So they looked for her, and they prayed for her.
The fact that the search party believed they were searching for a girl they somewhat didn't believe lived was not an excuse for sloppy work. They were expected to find her and find her now.
The soldier that found the princess body was a girl only two years older than her.
A muscular girl with bronzy skin and teeth too small for her mouth. Her name was Ozika.
And Ozika was bad at her job. She knew that, her superiors knew that, heck even Agni knew that.
She would show up on time and try three times as hard as other guards, but she simply was not that great. At her best, she was good enough to be given joke jobs like guarding an empty room filled with nothing but dust and scrolls or to go yell at the cook in the name of the captain of the guards.
The new fire lord didn't know that she was bad at her job. He tasked her along with pretty much any other soldier he had to devote themselves to one task. Find princess Zuko and bring her back to her loving uncle and friends.
Princess Zuko was akin to a dragon in Ozika's head. A tall one eyed beauty with skin as white as ash, hair as dark as coal so tragically condemned being born on the coldest day in fire nation history.
She was more like a play character than a real living girl. A princess who would burn for her people? And people as unimportant to royalty as the 41 division? Oh, please, she was a shit guard but not an idiot.
Each guard in Ozika's group got assigned one hallway. She rolled her boullery shoulders back. Hands fiddling with the hilt of her sword. She hated swords, punches worked much better for her.
She walked down the hallway, uncertain of what she should search for to say the least.
She got the hallway between the wine Celler and the other wine Celler. Meaning in was dark, cold and there was nothing there beside wine.
And certainly no princess.
But she was ordered to search until she either found her or was informed that someone else did. So she kept searching.
After her 16th walk around, she leaned against a wall and sighed, staring aimlessly between the barrels. She noticed a slight Gilmer. She rolled two barrels away to reveal a latch. With a grunt, she opened it to be greeting with cold darkness and the stench of death. She plugged her nose as she climbed inside, climbing down the rotting wood stairs.
The air was so damp that the light from her torch flickered until she could only barely make out her way. She should have called for help.
She gazed at the bars, fiddling with the lock until it broke under her grip, she entered the cell and stepped on something soft.
She looked down to see her foot stood on the face of the princess's corpse
Her skin must have been as white as now. It was now greenish in tint. Her eyes were just cloudy, she must have dead for days just because of how clouded they were. She was naked, safe for a few ripped scraps, she was laying in a pool of her now dry blood. And was covered in bruises scratches that were open yet dry, meaning she died before they got the chance to heal.
Ozika managed to scumble out of the cell just in to throw up on her own shoes, letting out a few pathetic yelps before she ran out to call her captain
Five soldiers were sent to fetch the corpse, they found another prisoner in the cell next to hers and took him with them. Captain Maiko apparently who had tried to betray Ozai for Zuko and got imprisoned with her. He, however, had survived and made a full recovery in a days time, and no one seemed happy about it.
She helped her captain wrap a cape around the body and pick it up. Strange how fast she stopped being a princess and her and turned into a body and it.
She wasn't in the room when the told fire lord Iroh.
She was happy she wasn't.
Because no one dared to speak of his reaction.
She did go to see the corpse as it was being prepared for burial the next day, four days after her death she was draped in white as was traditional.
The burial robes were the third most beautiful robes a person gets to wear after their wedding robes and robes made for visiting Agni's temple. She had a white veil over her head, The veil was to hide the face from the people, as the next person to see her face should be Agni alone. Her hair was styled in a way that probably symbolized something. But she was too poor to know the meaning of those things, it just seemed like a complex weaving of some kind.
She noticed what looked to be a little green ball.
A girl no more than 12 was curled into her self below the stone table she refused to be moved, she sat on the floor and refused to look up from her knees claiming she can see just fine she just doesn't believe that. When Ozika made the mistake of asking the girl why, the girl huffed
“Because we won. So it can't like that. This isn't how that works.”
her eyes puffy from crying and her shaken, hoarse voice were an indicator of her lack of faith in her own words.
“She can't die. You don't know her. You are all wrong, stupid, Katara is wrong. It doesn't work like that. We won. We came to save her… I'm the strongest fucking earth bender that has ever lived, I can save her. She is my friend I am strong enough to save my friends—don't hug me” She kicked and Ozika who was bending down with that intent
“Leave me alone.”
She looked down at the corpse.
This isn't the one eyed dragon. The people's princess. The charitable, however you may call her. This wasn't her. It was just meat. Rotten flesh. She covered her mouth and left the room.
The little earth bender left soon after.
The nation was weeping for their young princess. For the caring, strong leader they were robbed of. They mourned the children she never had and the legacy she never left.
At night, two guards were sent to keep watch over the body. Ohira and Zho, Ohira was wailing day and night over the death. She believed royals to be the blood of Agni, and like many took the death as a religious calamity.
Zho, however.
Zho studied the corpse with… scepticism
“She is dead and rotting. Just like us… is this really Agni's chosen ones?”
“This is treason… what you are saying is treason, you can't say it!” Ohira heaved at his blasphemy
“why? She can't hear, she is dead… a bunch of dead people in gold and silk, this is what we all live and die for.”
The corpse then opened its eyes.
The corpse sat up with a shuddering gasp, the veil covering it dropping to its lap.
Zho yelled and reached for his weapon but-at least he thought that is what he should do, but he could only stare in abject horror as the corpse moved and breathed eyes open and rolled back.
It gasped again before bending over and coughing, gripping at the edge of the stone table, spewing out some blood and milky white sludge so thick it struggled to breathe. The dead royal heaved and gasped for air, blood dripping from the edge of it's lip before falling back on her side shaking as if epileptic, breathing loudly. It threw up something awfully warm. Like a plum of blood clots or something else as big as a fist. It never slowed for a moment it moaned and writhed in pain, body collapsing on the stone table before arching and sizing again as she screamed, her voice was a high-pitched gurgle. Her skin was crawling, the layer bubbling and bunching up with a stretchy sound as the skin turned to a jaundice leather the royal porcelain new saw only on people of the court. It's back arched with a line of harrowing cracks. It moaned in pain.
It rolled itself forward, it's once rotten leathery bloated skin as white as snow. The once white however gown was now covered in clotted blood and filth of far too many colours
when it cried, its whole body shook. That creature slowly stopped moving. Dripping fluids twitching shouting, crying or moaning.
Zho was never a brave man.
The creature slowly slowed its whimpers. It breathed slower as if sleeping eyes half open, as if keeping them open was impossible
“Princess… your majesty” Ohira was on her knees beside the body, her ear preset against it's accursed plush flesh.
“The princess is alive. Her heart… It is beating. She is alive!” Zho wanted to squeal
“This must be a spirit-”
“her body… it's like she never died. It is a miracle, Zho call the sages! Call the fire lord… she is warm, she is breathing. This isn't a spirit! Spirits do not breathe!”
As the sun dyed the sky marking the fifth day after her death, princess Zuko has risen from the grave, sending the palace into shock and chaos. Such chaos that no one noticed a pair of lights. One blue one light disappearing into the body of the princess as she opened her golden eyes once more!
Such a shame they never noticed.
Chapter 14: Autopsy
Chapter Text
Ozai's dreams were filled with her.
His waking hours were filled with her friends. He spent as much time as he could sleeping.
She was soft and warm and inviting. They wouldn't always be together in his dreams. Sometimes he was just watching her, as she went about her day. As she ate and bathed and slept.
As she took other lovers. He was always there watching.
But sometimes they were together. And those times were harder to wake from.
She was a fire.
A desire within him that was the only thing keeping him alive as the other fire dies.
Iroh had visited him once, demanding to know where Zuko was. Ozai didn't care where she was or if she lived. She was his and that was all that mattered.
She never talked in his dreams. She didn't need to. What they had was too primal and real for words to be needed.
A few floors down, his other daughter was also pledged by dreams and visions. Hers came to her when she was awake.
Zuko sat with her in her cell, she was smiling at Azula while holding a baby wrapped in red silk. The baby latched onto her breast nursing — no it was feasting most erosely for a baby it was clawing at her with its tiny fists hand pulling legs squirming it looked painful.
Nursing always seemed an unnerving concept to Azula. Yet her Zuko was smiling at this leech with love pouring out her golden eyes. Her finger grazing the cheek of that — that parasite! With more fondness than she had ever spared Azula
“Such a hungry girl… wailing each time she doesn't eat.” Zuko said fondly, “That sound like the most horrible thing you could have for a child. Awfully draining too.” Azula scoffed
“Agni Zuko that is unsightly, do it some place private.” Azula added turning away
“It's natural Azula would you rather the poor thing cry?”
“I would rather the poor thing drown. How could you let that thing eat from you? It looks like a frog. And you aren't a cow.”
“She is the most pervious jewel in this palace in this nation. Looks at how she glows brighter than Agni.” Zuko almost sang to it
She didn't seem glowy. She seemed a normal gassy, annoying baby!
“I don't think Mum breastfed me.” Azula said
“Of course she did, Lala. She breastfed me.”
“Well, you don't count, do you?” Azula rolled her eyes.
“I love you both.” Zuko said and Azula tried to snatch that awful baby from her but Zuko was gone before she could.
“AND STAY OUT.”
The guards mumbled about her being crazy, as if they didn't help Zuko come into her cell. Ha!
Zuko always came back. If she wasn't cradling it, she was singing it, that awful stupid song grandma used to sing to uncle. And uncle used to sing to dear dead Lu-ten.
Who cared about leaves and vines and foam. Songs should be written about great victories or tragedies, or about nothing else!
Zuko didn't dream about either of them when she was dead.
When she came back she slept for a while. People came and went from her room and she did no care to speak to them. They didn't speak with her either.
A doctor who did not tell her his name was the first person to talk to her. The first person she answered, sitting up and looking at the dark room.
“Good morning. Will you take me to my mother? Please. I have been waiting to see her a while and I much desire to speak with her.” She asked the doctor stroked his long beard. So long he had to toss it over his shoulder when working.
“I want to ask you some questions.” his voice was high in pitch and breathy, He has a pair of brows so bushy they merged into one and was in the stage of balding Lieutenant Jee called the 'give it up already' but he had a very warm smile.
“Surely those can wait. So. she is where?” she was smiling.
“Do you not want to hear about the war ending?”
“I could not care less… She must be waiting for me.” She was growing impatient
“Fire lady consort Ursa has not been seen in a few years, so I have no way to say if she is waiting for you.”
She stared at him as he took a seat beside her bed.
Her face darkened, “I'm not dead.”
“It would seem so. You were dead for a while. About three days.”
“So I'm dead.” she concluded, smiling again
“You aren't. You came back, it seems. First time one of my patients did. I did your autopsy, I must apologize for the scars-”
“Must you? No one has apologized before.” She moved the pillows so she could lean back, “You bandaged my back pretty well. I can barely feel it.”
“Thank you kindly.”
“You are not used to patients talking, I assume.”
“Usually, once you weighed someone's spleen, they don't go chatting.”
“Mm… doesn't it get lonely?”
“I'm not good with… livings.” He confessed, cupping his own cheek, “I say the wrong things”
“I do it too sometimes… so will I die soon?”
“No one knows. They are calling you the twice born dragon now.”
“Would have been simpler if they called me the long dead princess, wouldn't it…”
“Would that you were dead, they probably would have, yes.”
“Would that I were dead, huh…”
“I couldn't pin down the exact cause of death.” he said, removing his wrinkly palm from his cheek.
She didn't say anything, so he went on, “You can tell when someone died from starvation, a shrivelled integument under a paper thin epidermis. The muscles are atrophied, and the lungs and heart are bloodless. I took a sample from your heart, should you wish to look. It was indeed bloodless.”
She pressed her hand to her chest, “And yet it beats.”
“Well, I would assume it has blood now.” The doctor said, “how do you feel.”
“You can not expect me to be able to answer that do you?”
“Are you… the princess? Are you back.”
“I am.” she said, she did not seem happy about it.
“That ain't so bad. You know, being alive, all things considered.”
“Were you sent to kill me? Can you kill me? Could I be killed?”
“I am not allowed to be here. At all. No one is… they are kind of unsure what to do with you. Too hopeful to have you killed and too frightened to hope it's really you, princess.”
“Zuko. If you have seen my spleen, you can call me Zuko.”
He laughed, “you are better with people than me. You have a lovely spleen.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls that come back from the dead… you can tell me how the war ended if you want to.”
He told her everything, She did not react until he told her the avatar defeated Ozai
“It's strange.” She said, “how you can truly believe in someone with all your heart and yet be so shocked that he actually did it… My Uncle is fire lord now?”
“He is.”
“That is good… does he… did he ask for me? Did he… what does-how.” it seemed she truly did not have any words to explain anything she felt.
“He is avoiding visiting, from what I gathered. Too frightened, you aren't real. There are ten fire sages outside this door praying for you. Like I said, They are calling you the twice born dragon.”
“I guess I have been called worse.”
“There is no shame in being a dragon.”
“There is a great shame in being me.”
“I would ask you what you mean… but if I am being honest I came mostly to talk, not to listen.”
“That's okay with me.”
He talked for a while.
It was pleasant enough. She said many times she found it hard to form thoughts and kept asking what will happen to her next.
The doctor left after the sun rose.
She had no visitors until three days later. When fire lord Iroh came to visit her.
Chapter 15: A short psa
Summary:
A tiny fyi
Chapter Text
Episodes will be less frequent because I enlisted in the military. So I will obviously have less time to write, but I am not abandoning this work.
But There will be more chapters, I promise.
wish me luck!
At ease.
Chapter 16: psa pt 2
Chapter Text
Really really bad time to be a soldier guys!
Stay safe
Chapter 17: Uncle
Summary:
Iroh thinks back. About his mother, brother and niece.
He learns nothing
Chapter Text
Iroh POV
Iroh stood outside the room where Zuko was kept, and he thought.
How did they get here? How did they get to this point? When did Ozai become a monster?
He thought about Ozai. He rarely thought about Ozai, but now, as he stood outside the door, not daring to move to open it.
He thought about Ozai.
Iroh was 15 and overseas learning from master firebenders, travelling and eating his fill, when Ozai was born. He was nearly 17 when he first met Ozai upon his return to the Caldera.
His mother, Firelady Ilah, presented Ozai to him with a wide grin.
“Isn’t he adorable, Iroh? I remember when you were this small.” She let Ozai cling to her sleeve. “Ozoz sweetie, say hello to your big brother,” she rubbed mushed mango away from his chin with her sleeve and kissed his black hair. Her youngest son was a carbon copy of his adoring mother. Ink-black hair and eyes purer than gold shone against threaded lashes and a milk-like skin; Iroh looked more like his father. He bent down on one knee and smiled at his new brother, “Hello, Ozai.” And Ozai smiled, still holding onto their mother.
Their mother. Firelady Ilah. Often called the most beautiful woman in all four nations, she adored her little babies. Locked away in her room, there was a tapestry of her cradling the infant Iroh, every stitch seeping with her love. She would call them her little miracles, having had two healthy sons despite her own health issues. “And you never should doubt miracles, my sweet boy,” she used to say. Iroh pinched the bridge of his nose. Thinking of his mother won’t get him anywhere.
Thinking of Ozai will be no less pointless, but he found himself drifting back.
Iroh was 21, playing with Ozai in the gardens, when the innocent future beast tugged on his sleeve.
“Brother.” Ozai said, rubbing the scabs on his little chin that he hurt a few days ago by playing too vigorously, using his other hand to show Iroh a very dead turtle-duck, “The ducky won’t move.” Iroh remembered the very poetic and eloquent thought that came to his mind was ‘fuck I have to explain death to the little kid.’
He scooped Ozai to his lap and calmly explained death to him, and Ozai just nodded, solemn and distant.
He had scooped the horrible monster into his lap and explained death to him.
That little boy with smeared mango on his sleeve killed his own daughter. Zuko. Ah, yes, Zuko.
Fire Lord Iroh has been waiting outside Zuko's door for two hours now, silent yet not unmoving. Sifting and inching closer to the door before retreating.
Did she come back? Did he deserve to have her back?
From her first breath, she was so good. So easy to love, so unlike the rest of them.
They placed Zuko in Ursa's old room. He didn't know who gave that order, but he remembered entering that room to greet Zuko 16 years ago.
He had come expecting to see Ursa and the baby, but to his shock, Ozai was at her bedside!
Ozai was holding a small wrapped bundle with both his arms. It looked like a rolled scarlet blanket. He didn’t look up, but he knew it was Iroh who entered the room."Brother. What a surprise." Ozai said, as calm as ever, and stood up
"Here to meet the princess, I would assume," he didn’t sound thrilled, and Ursa momentarily looked between them before rising up, waiting to take the girl in her arms. Meeting with Ozai always felt like watching a puppet show. Every word had to be calculated.
It comforted Iroh to no end to see Ozai holding his sleeping newborn, his aperance not prefectly manicued for once, cheeks shadowed by stubble and hair sticking out oddly. It was endearing.
"You look the picture of a new father, Ozai. May I-"
Ozai didn't answer, just handed Zuko to Iroh without much thought
She was a beautiful baby. Just like her father was. An impressive cap of jet-black hair, a pinkish face flushed from crying, a little thin and sickly, but warm. He ran his knuckle against her cheek. "What a gift, Ozai. You must be beaming with pride... she looks so much like our mother, don’t you think?” That was the wrong thing to say. Ursa perked up and smiled, “Really? Ozai said so too... maybe your mother sent her down as a gift.” Ursa reached for Ozai’s shoulder. “My mother used to say-”
“I don’t care what your mother used to say, Ursa.” He said coldly and squeezed her shoulder.
"We don't have to do this, brother." Ozai didn't look at Iroh's eyes set square on his daughter. "This stupid, stupid game we have been playing from birth. This... is not what was meant to be, you know it." he almost slurred his words when he moved to take Zuko back. Iroh stepped back, and Ursa said nothing.
"Give me my daughter, Iroh." his voice was as thick as cement and sounded as if he had gurgled gravel, his eyes going from wide to squinted nearly shut.
"You are acting strangely, Ozai," Iroh said
"She had been crying the entire night, Iroh. I am tired." He didn't look tired. The fire prince stared at his younger brother as his niece fussed in his arms.
He handed Zuko back to her father.
He thought of that moment when she pleaded for her life during that Agni kai. Thought of her flushed newborn face as healers rubbed thick white bandages on whatever would be left of her face. Of her.
He once told her that ever since he lost his Lu-ten, he had thought of her as a daughter; that was a half-truth. From that first second in this room 16 years ago, she was his own. Whenever she played with Lu-ten until she was red and breathless from laughing, she was his.
He didn't go see the corpse. Couldn't. He knew what corpses looked like a few days after death, dried puss maggots nestling in whatever soft tissue they could slither into, and the scent that stuck to you. He also didn't come to see when she was prepared for the funeral. That waxy makeup and chunks of plaster to fill the parts that rotted away. He could not see her that way.
He did come now. Three days after he learnt she was alive. And he wondered if she looked just as she did when he thought her lost.
It was a spirit trick, he was sure of it. Certin. It would be a grace and a miracle to have her back. Iroh didn’t get miracles. He was given no grace.
With the same hands he used to pat little Ozoz’s hair, he pushed the door open.
And there she was. Sitting on the bed all in white. her scar sticking out against the white sheets of the bed. Burial sheets.
There she was.
Agni. There she is.
“Uncle.” She said, and then she said nothing, staring at him with her good eye, widening
Agni. Blessed, merciless, ever cruel and truthful Agni. It was her. She fell to her knees and bowed her head hair pooling over her face hiding it but he could imagine what her face looked like. Imagine the fear flooding her eyes.
Her mouth opened and closed and opened again she was shaking like a leaf, but she didn’t say anything.
She was in his embrace before she began the sentence. He cupped her face with his palms. She was crying. She was alive.
“I thought I lost you...” She shook her head, dismayed. “Why-” she choked on her tears and curled into his embrace. There was so much he wanted to say. He knew he would cry, but he never saw Zuko cry like that. So violently that it was completely silent, rocking back and forth, palms twisted in her thick robes. “Please don’t hug me,” she whispered, and he let go. She was shrunken into herself. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry, please don’t forgive me.” He reached for her, and she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please-” she hiccuped but still didn’t look up “this is all my fault- Aang had to kill Ozai-” another hiccup. Could it be she still had conflicting feelings about her father? Was she grieving?
“Ozai is still alive,” Iroh said, voice calm and leveled, and she froze and let out a shaky, almost whistling breath.
“He is still alive,” his own voice sounded far away, and then she blinked as if snapping out of a trance. She bowed her head deeply and wiped her eyes. Recuperating herself after falling apart. He had seen her do that so often. Always pride tinged with anger filling up whatever cracks she let show. She did not feel safe knowing Ozai lived.
“I’m sorry, Uncle... for all I’ve done. For betraying you, I wanted to free you. I was going too, but it was-” she paused as if avoiding saying something, and Iroh bent down further to be at eye level with her. “Your friends told me everything, and yes, they are all alright and waiting to meet you.” He finished seeing the question in her eyes before she voiced it
What did he do to deserve this? To get her back. He prayed and begged and fought and killed when he lost his Lu-ten. He didn’t dare to do so when he lost her.
“Aang.” She suddenly let go of him. “Aang and Toph and everyone are alright?”
“Yes. They are all here recovering; we won.” She looked away from him, “We won,” she repeated, almost as if it offended her. He went to grasp her shoulder, and she crumpled into his touch, her knees hitting him in the stomach as she practically curled in a hug around him. “I’m sorry... Agni, I’m so sorry... for everything.”
He could feel the bandages. She was warm. She was breathing against him. Yet the dread in the old dragon’s stomach only grew; he was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was Zuko. His Zuko, but still...
still...
Iroh did not press it. He closed his eyes and hugged her back, and his tears ran down his face and sank into her hair. Hair that was almost unnatural in its glossiness, skin too warm, and hands too gentle, but Iroh just kept hugging her.
‘Never doubt a miracle, Iroh,’ his mother used to say.
So he kept his eyes closed. He was old now, and old people fear the pain of losing hope.
His eyes were closed so he could not catch the subtle twitches in Zuko’s eyes, as her eyes, unlike her uncle’s, were wild and wide and as frightened as a newborn lamb.
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