Chapter Text
ALAN
Several weeks passed since he left Ray’s house. Although trying to forget him, he couldn’t find the courage to do it. He is more attached to Ray that he would like to recognize. He knows where Ray lives, but his pride and knowing that Ray doesn’t feel the same about him, made him a big mess of feelings.
Every friday night, Alan co-workers tried to drag him to YOLO, but he didn’t want to go. They were surprised about that, because before, Alan always joined them. He was afraid to meet him again, to meet the one that his shadow is chasing Alan day and night, feeling him everytime everywhere.
Today is friday, and it’s the birthday of one of Alan’s co-workers, so he was obligated to go to YOLO with them to celebrate it. He tried to change the destination, exposing that they had gone enough times to YOLO, that they must change the bar to go, but the birthday boy didn’t want to, because YOLO is the best bar in the city. They didn’t know about what happened that night with Ray, he told them that he felt bad and went home early, forgetting to tell them that he leaved.
Alan started to shiver when they arrived to YOLO’s parking. Everything started in this parking. He couldn’t help remembering all the moments of that night, and a little moan escaped from this mouth.
Alan, are you alright? – asked him the birthday boy.
Yes, yes, sorry. I was a little off Aye – he replied.
Hope nothing bad is happening to you, I’m really worried about you. Since that night that you left feeling bad, you haven’t been the same – said Aye.
Yeah, well, I’m still not recovered 100% from that day, you know, I’m still feeling very tired sometimes – he replied to Aye.
Ok, but if this continues, please go to see a doctor ok? – begged Aye.
I promise you I will. Thanks for your concern Aye, you’re a good friend – Alan replied, giving him a friendly hug.
Aye is one of Alan’s bestfriends at work. They only had been working together for 6 months, but they quickly connected.
As they entered into YOLO, Alan’s leg started shaking and he had to hold on Aye’s shoulder for a moment. He was nervous looking everywhere, with a mix of fear and excitement in his gaze, searching for Ray, but he isn’t anywhere.
They went to sit down at their usual table and ordered some drinks. Then Yo, YOLO’s owner, appeared at the scenario.
Hello!! Welcome to YOLO bar!! Hope all of you are enjoying the night!! As every Friday night, welcome our amazing band with his hot and handsome singer Sand !!! Enjoy their music aaaaaaaand let’s dance !!! – she told to the audience while everyone was screaming, whistling and clapping to her and the band.
Alan’s heart skipped a beat hearing that name, Sand. It’s possible being the same person? That would be a great coincidence but at the same time this made a lot of sense. He picked his glass, drank all the liquour in one go and asked the bartender for another round.
He decided that he will talk to Sand when the performance is over, but while it is still going, he couldn’t stop looking at Sand, and emptying glass after glass.
Thanks a lot !! You’re an amazing audience, as always! We are Steve, Day, Yok and me, Sand. That’s all for today, see you next week !! – Sand screamed throught the microphone.
Alan decided that this was the best moment to go to have a word with that Sand. He needs to know if he is the one that he thinks he is. But when he got up from his seat, excusing himself with Aye that he need to go to the bathroom, he worst of his nightmares became reality.
Ray was there, as beautiful as always, hugging Sand with a smile on his face. He dreamed a lot of times with this moment, the moment they will meet again, but he didn’t expected that Sand would be there, in the middle of them.
Alan was frozen in this place, without being able to stop looking at them. Some tears started going down his cheeks. At the end, he really wasn’t good enough to make Ray forget Sand.
He needed to escape from there. He couldn’t breath propertly, and his stomach started to close, so he had to run away to the parking, and when he arrived there, he threw up everything inside it.
Aye appeared at his side, and started rubbing gently his back.
I think that you drank a lot tonight Alan. It will be the best if I drive you to your house. – said Aye.
Yes… I’m not feeling well, I need to go home. Take me there Aye, please – begged Alan.
Both of them got into Aye’s car, and they drove in silence until they reached Alan’s house.
Thanks for bringing me home Aye. Can I…ask you a favor? Can you stay with me til I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone. – he pleaded to Aye.
Of course Alan, of course I can – Aye replied.
Aye helped Alan to enter into his apartment, and took him to Alan’s bedroom. He managed to help him taking his clothes off and putting him into bed.
He laid in front of Alan, stroking his hand with his thumb, til the first one fell asleep.
Aye was looking to Alan’s sleepy face with tenderness. But when he kissed Alan’s forehead and wished him good night, Alan murmured in dreams - Ray… I missed you, don’t leave me alone again please - frozing Aye in his place.
So you already have someone in your heart… - whispered Aye, and getting up from Alan’s bed and being sure that Alan is ok, he went to the front door and leave the apartment.
RAY
Several days passed since Alan parted from his life. Several days passed since Ray decided to try to go to YOLO, day by day, to see if he can find Alan again there.
The first days he went with a lot of energy, searching for him everywhere, also asking Plug, Yo’s boyfriend and bartender at YOLO if he maybe have seen someone like him. But always is the same answer, nothing. Like the Earth swallowed him.
One friday night after his performance, Sand found Ray in a corner crying hard.
Hey Ray, are you ok? What happened? Can I help you? – said full of worry Sand.
Ray raised his head and found Sand at his side, looking at him, gaze full of worry.
Sand… I… Why I always have to break all the things that I touch? – he replied sobbing hard – I also ruined what we had together…
Ray, we both were wrong in our relationship. You never admitted your addictions, and I left you alone when you needed me the most. Don’t blame yourself alone, I also have a part of blame in this. – replied Sand with calm voice. – I hope you’ll forgive me one day for leaving you. I didn’t leave you because I didn’t love you Ray, I couldn’t manage all the situation with your addictions. I couldn’t stand seeing you consuming yourself in front of me. I still care about you Ray, as a friend. You can always count with me for anything. – he said while caressing Ray’s cheek.
Ray couldn’t help sobbing after hearing Sand’s words. He threw himself into Sand’s arms.
Thank you for telling me Sand. I knew that being with me required a lot of patience. I don’t blame you anymore Sand for what you did, I can understand you now that I know the truth. And… I also care about you a lot, as a friend. – said Ray between sobs.
Thanks Ray for forgiving me. All this time, I was blaming myself for what I did, but I didn’t have the courage to meet you and tell you everything – said Sand with his eyes full of pain.
It’s ok now Sand, really. In therapy, they teached us how hard is also for the people around someone with addictions. Not everyone can handle it, and I didn’t wanted any help by that time. Everything is ancient history now Sand – replied Ray hugging Sand tightly, because Sand was crying hard at this point.
When both of them were calmed after so much emotions, Sand was the one broking the hug.
Ray, will you tell me now why were you crying before? – begged Sand with his gaze full of tenderness.
Sand I… I met someone special for me again, someone that made me forget about you, but as always, I didn’t have the courage to tell him, so in the end, I lost him. – replied Ray with his voice full of sorrow – Even being completely sober for months, why can’t I do things right? – cried out Ray.
Then he told Sand how he met Alan and the whole night that they shared together, along with all this feelings about him.
I see. So, you only know his name? Don’t you know where he lives or work? - asked Sand.
No, nothing. It was supossed to be a one-night stan, the same as others I had in the past, nothing more… But see me now, sighing for him day and night – replied Ray, whispering the last sentence.
You said before that Alan’s ex name is Wen right? And that his husband is called Jim? Uhm… let me talk with my husband Gaipa first. If I’m not wrong, he knows a married couple called like them. Maybe destiny is playing in your favor this time? - said Sand winking to Ray.
Wait… really? Oh my God Sand, really? - Ray screamed nervously - Please Sand, please. If your husband knows them, please tell me. I need to find Alan… - begged Ray with shaking hands.
I will Ray. If he really knows them I will - he smiled to Ray. - I’m so glad seeing you shinning again Ray. The power of love, right? – Sand smirked.
Bastard - Ray smiled back to Sand - but yes, I think I’m in love with him.
They arranged to meet one week later to share the information about Alan that Sand can find after talking with his husband Gaipa.
A week passed, and it’s Friday again. Sand is playing the last song of tonight’s show, when he saw Ray entering YOLO. He had good news for him, he would be so happy! These were Sand’s thoughts while singing.
Thanks a lot !! You’re an amazing audience, as always! We are Steve, Day, Yok and me, Sand. That’s all for today, see you next week !! – Sand screamed throught the microphone.
Ray went immediately to meet Sand at the scenario and hugged him as a greeting.
Hey Sand, did you discovered something about them ? - asked Ray feeling nervous.
Good news Ray! Gaipa knows them, he knows Wen and Jim! - he replied to Ray with a big smiale of his face.
Really? Oh my God, Sand! I’m so happy now! Please tell me everything! – he begged full of excitement.
Sand was telling Ray all the things that Gaipa told him about Wen and Jim, when suddenly, they heard someone screaming - ALAN!! ALAN!
Ray’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of that name. He turnet around just in time to see the young man that was calling Alan’s name exiting from YOLO.
Sand! I have to go, sorry! I will contact you! - he shouted to Sand.
He run to the parking lot, but he didn’t find anyone there. He was alone at the parking, Alan wasn’t there. He only saw a white car leaving the place, but it was quite far away.
Did I dreamed it? Or really destiny is helping me this time? - thought Ray - I need to meet Wen and Jim, and ask them where I can find Alan.