Chapter Text
Shauna didn’t understand how it all went so wrong so quickly. But well—that’s not entirely true. It was quick, but it felt inevitable. It always had, at least to her. Of course, she never expected this—never wanted this. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. How was this happening?…What was happening?
Jackie. There was Jackie, her best friend.
Jackie, who she met in her village at four years old, when she was separated from her parents in the market. Crying as she sat in the dirt, where Shauna and her mom approached her. Her mom calmed Jackie as best she could while asking where her parents were. Jackie stared up at her with wide, tearful eyes and a trembling pout as she said she didn’t know. Shauna sat down next to her and proclaimed she’d wait with her until they came back.
Jackie, who from that day forward claimed they would be best friends forever. It took a while for Shauna’s mom to find Jackie’s parents, but the two girls sat together peacefully, holding hands. Jackie had stopped crying as she talked to Shauna, started smiling and laughing with her new friend instead. Her big eyes, wide and sparkling.
Jackie, who was rarely at her own house after that—she always came over to Shauna’s. It made Shauna happy, though every time Jackie’s excited light knocks echoed through the small house, her mom always looked a little sad. The look never lasted long—always replaced by a smile by the time Jackie came in.
Jackie, who found out she was adept at magic when she was six years old. She showed up to Shauna’s house late at night, her knocks quiet and timid. Shauna’s mom opened the door to a blubbering mess of a girl with a red hand-print on her cheek. She had nothing on her but a hefty coin pouch, and a letter that she held up for Shauna’s mom to take. Shauna shuffled out of bed, rubbing her eyes with a yawn, to see where her mom went. Seeing Jackie, she immediately perked up—they had never had a sleepover before—until she noticed the crying. Until she noticed her red, swollen cheek.
Jackie, who ran and fell head first into Shauna as soon as she saw her standing there. She held onto Shauna like a lifeline, and Shauna held back. She looked up at her mom for— something —as her mom gripped the open letter in her hands tightly, the paper crinkling under her shaking hands. Putting aside the letter and coin pouch, she dropped to her knees next to the two girls and pulled them both into her arms.
Jackie, who started to live with Shauna and her mom from then on. She constantly buzzed around the home, offering to help with every little chore and trip to the market. It was nice, and Shauna loved having Jackie with her, but she missed having time with her mom—just the two of them.
Jackie, who tugged Shauna through the village one day to show her this new glade she’d found nearby, coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of her parents walking toward them. She hunched in on herself, losing all of the exuberance she had just possessed, like a flower being leeched of its life. Wilting. Her parents sneered at the two of them, and Shauna shielded Jackie from their gaze with her own body. They walked past.
Shauna threw a rock at the back of Mr. Taylor’s head.
Jackie, who held on to Shauna, trying to keep up as Shauna sprinted away from the village, angry voices following them out. Jackie suddenly tugged Shauna in a different direction, causing her to stumble before changing course.
Jackie, who led them to a beautiful, quiet glade, filled with wildflowers, where they finally stopped to catch their breath. Collapsing next to each other on the ground, temples leaned together, and hands still clasped, Jackie reached out into the grass with her free hand and grew a poppy. Shauna watched as the mana coaxed the flower from the ground, just to be plucked and handed to her. It was Jackie’s favorite flower. It was a thank you.
Jackie, who found Shauna one day in the garden as she, too, was gently coaxing a poppy to grow from the ground. The process was slower, more draining, but undeniably magical. Jackie gasped and immediately started to make plans—They could go to magic school together now. She had been wanting to go, but she didn’t want to go alone. Shauna lost her concentration. The poppy wilted.
Jackie, who was seven and missing one of her front teeth, led Shauna by the hand into the dorm they would be sharing with a few other girls for years to come. They had just changed into their apprentice robes after Shauna’s mom had seen them off with a promise to write to them both. Jackie picked the bed closest to the window and told Shauna to take the one next to her. Shauna did—she could still see out the window a little bit. She just couldn’t see the full view.
Jackie, who thrived in the group setting, blossomed and made friends with all of the girls in the dorm, but particularly the other two girls their age: Lottie and Laura Lee. Shauna stood by her side, usually absorbed in a book, contributing to group conversations minimally. She had started reading a lot recently—she had access to more books now than she had ever seen and had even been able to sneak away a few books from the restricted section. Jackie always complained that Shauna needed to be more social. Shauna always complained that Jackie dragged her along to everything anyway, so she was just as social as she was.
Jackie, who excelled in natural and spiritual magic, struggled with the other schools. Everyone had their strengths. Laura Lee was the best spiritual mage in the school at just 12. Lottie and Jackie were two of the best in natural magic, and, as it turned out, Shauna had a knack for evocation—discovered after a particularly tense argument between Jackie and Shauna where Shauna quite literally blew up a little. Shauna was constantly reading and researching. She never let Jackie see what she was researching, but Jackie didn’t pry…too much.
Jackie, who unknowingly started to make joint decisions instead of suggestions, picked their elective courses. She grabbed Shauna’s food every day while she was in line, because she knew what was her favorite. What if Shauna had wanted to try something new? She answered for Shauna when a classmate asked if Shauna could help them later with an evocation spell—she couldn’t, they were going to go into town later . That was news to her. Shauna clenched a book in her hand— The Mysterious History of The Wilderness and Dungeon Ecosystems.
Jackie, who stood there shell shocked, when Shauna told her she was leaving. Jackie confronted her about how distant she had been—Jackie felt neglected; she wasn’t spending enough time with her. She would always rather read a book than spend time with her. Shauna unleashed. She hadn’t ever loved magic. She had only ever come to this school because Jackie had dragged her here. She couldn’t take Jackie controlling her life anymore the way she had been since she was four years old. She felt sorry for Jackie. No one else knew how tragic, insecure, and boring she really was.
Jackie, who at eighteen, wore a face so similar to the one Shauna saw all those years ago—six years old, looking lost, scared, and abandoned. I don’t even know who you are anymore . Shauna finished stuffing the important things of hers into a rucksack. Or maybe you never did. She turned and left without another word.
Jackie, who four years later, looked exactly the same except for her slightly longer hair. Shauna spotted her first, across the crowded market outside of the dungeon, in front of one of the many guilds. Shauna stopped in her tracks causing Tai, one of her party members to run straight into her back with a grumble. The rest of the party continued on without them—they were coworkers, and the job for the day was done.
Jackie, who looked up and around until her eyes met Shauna’s, as if she could sense her gaze. Shauna watched as Jackie looked her up and down, her eyes catching on the armor, on the sword—no magical staff in sight. After Shauna had left the school, she had joined a group of mercenaries who frequented the Wilderness Dungeon for various jobs, and she learned that she was actually quite skilled with a blade. That was where she met Tai, and eventually they decided to join one of the guilds together for more stable work.
Jackie, who honed in on Tai’s hand on Shauna’s shoulder as she asked her why she had stopped so suddenly. Jackie was surrounded by a somewhat sizable group. Shauna immediately recognized Lottie and Laura Lee—she had known them for a decade—but there were several others she didn’t: a broad, red-headed fighter with a halberd strapped across their back, a smaller blonde with what looked like a lock picking kit on her belt, and a stoic looking man with a sword standing next to the blonde. Shauna took a deep breath and tore her eyes away, reassuring Tai that it was nothing.
Jackie, who walked right up to her and pushed her in the middle of the first floor of the dungeon, causing the hustle and bustle of the floor to pause. Shauna had the reputation to be somewhat volatile in confrontation. Her party immediately took up fighting stances, and Tai put her hand on the handle of her axe. Lottie and Laura Lee’s mouths dropped open. Their eyebrows flew upward, but their eyes teemed with emotions Shauna couldn’t grasp in that single moment. They held back the rest of their party as Shauna motioned for hers to stand down. The push only caused her to back-step once, and it was the closest she had been to Jackie in four years.
Jackie, who paused right after the push, like she hadn’t even meant to do such a thing. Her face scrunched up in the way it always had when she was pissed off, frustrated, or trying not to cry. Shauna tried to triangulate which one it was at that moment. Her eyes burned with something as she searched Shauna’s face, pausing between Shauna’s eyes. Right where she knew the small scar on her nose was. They had had a particularly tough fight with a group of Living Armor last year, and the scar on her nose was the least of her injuries.
Jackie, whose hand traveled upward slowly, hovering for just a moment, shook her head and grabbed Shauna’s collar. Her party was going to find the ruler of the Wilderness and defeat him , and Shauna was going to stay out of her way —deciding everything for the two of them, just like she always had. She walked away. Lottie and Laura Lee sent timid waves and apologetic looks.
Jackie, who found Shauna’s party once again on the fifth floor of the dungeon. It was impressive for a new party to get that far. They looked a little worse for wear, but mostly just tired. It was a similar state to Shauna’s party. The fifth floor of the dungeon was a dense, dark forest, teeming with various beasts, so safety in numbers was very much preferred. They stumbled upon Shauna’s group setting up camp, and Laura Lee was the one who pitched the idea to band together for the night. Tai and the others looked to Shauna warily, only agreeing once she gave a nod of assent. Jackie stood there silently, looking everywhere but at Shauna, and particularly glaring at Tai.
Jackie, who turned in for the night first, stayed on the opposite side of camp from Shauna. Shauna offered to stay up and take first watch. She found her eyes constantly drifting towards Jackie at the beginning of the night, but scolded herself enough to start to take the watch seriously. The fifth level was serious. Shauna listened to the crackling of the fire, which almost masked the rustling sound of Jackie getting out of her furs.
Jackie, who walked off into the darkness of the forest on the fifth level alone in the middle of the night. Shauna’s heart pounded as she clenched her fist. She had a watch to keep. She had to worry about the safety of everyone .
Shauna stood and followed after Jackie. She didn’t have to go very far.
Jackie, who was standing with her forehead against a tree, her hands covering her face. Shauna reprimanded her for leaving the group, jolting Jackie away from the tree. She took a deep breath, Shauna couldn’t see her expression in the low light, and crossed her arms. She hadn’t even gone that far and was going to come right back. Shauna seethed. That was dangerous, and she was totally inexperienced in here.
Jackie, who must have sneered because Shauna could hear it in her voice. She could handle herself . Shauna rolled her eyes, but she knew Jackie , four years couldn’t change that much . Jackie had thought she knew Shauna but that all changed in a single conversation, four years could do a lot. Shauna had always been quick to temper, but no one made her burn hotter than Jackie. Her simmer turned to a boil, and her arms gesticulated wildly. Jackie couldn’t be this reckless in the dungeon. Shauna had left her watch post too, endangering everybody. Their voices rose, and they inched closer together with each word.
Jackie, who, at this close, Shauna could tell had been crying. Shauna clenched her jaw and Jackie’s eyes tracked the movement. Jackie glanced at Shauna’s lips, and Shauna leaned in. A twig snapped and on instinct Shauna grabbed Jackie and rolled out of the way of a huge, shadowy mass.
Jackie, who Shauna pushed up and towards the camp as she drew her sword—her eyes searching the shadows for whatever that creature had been.
Jackie, who stumbled back toward the firelight, was already calling for help. Shauna could hear both parties scramble for their gear and hurried running heading in her direction. She called for the parties to circle up back to back until they could locate the creature. The large creature, seemingly cloaked in shadow, burst from the trees once more and barreled through them, sending many of them sprawling. Shauna heard a scream from one of her party members that was cut short with a sickening crunch as he was dragged into the trees. Moments later, Shauna heard a different party member of hers meet the same fate. She turned toward the noise, sword at the ready.
Jackie, who screamed Shauna’s name desperately, as a hulking, demonic, deer-like creature headed right toward her.
Jackie, who somehow made it over to her, used all of the strength in her lithe body to push Shauna away.
Jackie, who let out a cry of agony as huge, grotesque jaws clamped around her middle.
Jackie, who reached out to Shauna with her staff as the creature opened its jaws to take another bite.
Jackie, who smiled when Shauna grabbed the staff, blood leaking between her teeth and down her chin.
Jackie, who mumbled an incantation under her breath.
Jackie, who said Go.
Jackie, who disappeared between the beast’s teeth.
Jackie, who vanished along with the fifth level of the dungeon, as Shauna landed roughly on the surface, sword clutched in one hand and Jackie’s staff in the other. She barely registered the sound of others groaning in pain around her.
Jackie, who trusted Shauna with her staff—the most important link to her magic.
Jackie, who used her last breath to save everyone she could.
Jackie, who…
Jackie, who…
Jackie. Jackie. Jackie. Jackie.
Shauna didn’t realize she had been sobbing her name until she felt several bodies surrounding her. Some hovered awkwardly at the edges, Shauna couldn’t see through the tears, but she felt their presence. She did feel the grounding squeeze of Tai’s hand on her shoulder; she was supportive, but she didn’t understand the weight of it all. Shauna barely talked about Jackie with her–not to any real extent, not to any depth.
Shauna felt two bodies encircle her, shaking with tears almost as much as she did. Even after four years apart, she could instantly pick out Lottie and Laura Lee on touch and smell alone. They held her tightly as she sobbed with a death grip on Jackie’s staff, the small poppy weaved into it starting to wilt. She was babbling nonsense, but none of it mattered except—
Jackie . Jackie. Jackie, please .
Shauna stayed like that for a while, Lottie and Laura Lee holding onto her the whole time. Tai stayed close, but the rest of her party left. They had lost two members and hadn’t even completed their mission—they were out.
Shauna finally tired herself out after what felt like hours; it really could have been. They had to go back in. They had to save Jackie. If they got to her fast enough, she could still be resurrected. She had to be resurrected.
Shauna begged. Lottie and Laura Lee were immediately on board, and Tai nodded solemnly, promising to do what she could. The man from Jackie’s group— Travis , Lottie prompted—shook his head. He had a little brother to look after. He couldn’t risk another encounter with that thing. The rogue— Nat— agreed after a deep breath and an imploring look from Lottie. The red-head— Van— agreed because she wanted the chance to take that beast down.
Shauna gathered herself and her new party, intent on heading back down into the dungeon as soon as possible. She had to. It was Jackie .
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Jackie, who as consciousness and pain left her body, was being slowly digested.