Chapter Text
"It's just as real as you are, down here. Now, let's see how easy it is for you to snoop around the unconscious without a head …”
Hyde had never felt scared while in his mind before, Why should he? He used to think it was just him, his memories and Jekyll; Plus, in the subconscious, which was where he spent most of his time, it was just darkness and his thoughts. He could rest there for what felt like a few minutes and hours would have passed, maybe even more, and that didn't bother him because it was familiar and he was used to it. He never spent a lot of time where his memories were stored, like Mind Lanyon had said, he was usually "Too lazy to snoop around" Maybe if he wasn't he could have known about Mind Lanyon and his ghost helper's existence, Maybe if he did he could have avoided them easily and not be in this mess. (How would he have known there was someone else there? Maybe his mistake was assuming there wasn't. He existed because of the potion, didn't he? He should have thought it might have brought others as well, Because if there was a Mind Lanyon maybe there were others as well. Maybe one of them was Rachel, perhaps The Lodgers or even Frankenstein, maybe there were infinite Mind people or just a few.)
Hyde didn't usually feel bad. It was, funnily enough, going out that sometimes made him feel shitty, and from his point of view; It was all Jekyll's fault. Whenever they transformed from one to the other, any discomfort the other felt, like the need to eat or drink some water was given to the other. That was specially bad for Hyde since Jekyll was horrible at caring for himself, and if Jekyll felt like shit because he hadn't drank any water, or eaten in gods know how long, then Hyde would have to take care of it (Because, unlike Jekyll, he did value his life, thank you very much.)
This also included urges and impulses that Jekyll had on his day to day, that were very ungentlemanly of him. If he felt the need to punch someone but repressed it, then Hyde would be the one to feel the urge to punch someone, and since he wasn't able to repress it, off he went to cause a bar fight. If Jekyll wanted to drink until he couldn't think, there went Hyde to get drunk in a bar. If Jekyll looked at Lanyon and wanted to do things that would make a priest faint, Hyde would go and fuck or be fucked by someone, and so on. If Hyde decided to not do this, it was bad for both. At one point, it all ends up being too much and he ends up being worse than usual, the want for violence becoming a need for it, his carnal desires becoming much more lustful than normal and such. This usually happened with his violent urges. It had, thankfully, never gotten out of hand and didn't happen very often, Hyde wasn't very good at restraining himself, the few times it did happen, it had been bad, very bad. The worst night out of all of them, Hyde had gotten into a fight, and it got too out of hand, to say the least, but no one got murdered, so it was ‘fine’ with Jekyll.
(He still remembered how good it felt, for the both of them -because it was never just truly him. As much as Jekyll tried to deny it, he was always there, looming above Hyde's shoulder and drinking everything in, enjoying everything he did whenever he went out. To be so violent, it was intoxicating. In the moment he felt thrilled at the feeling of bones breaking beneath his fists, blood staining his face, clothes and hands, he wanted them to feel bad, wanted them to bleed and he knew exactly where to hit so that he wouldn't kill them but it would hurt them.)
(But then he was grabbed by his back, the person on the floor slowly getting up while chaos reigned beside them. He was about to get punched, but then he bit the one who grabbed him and ran as fast as he could. He cut that night short and didn't dwell on what happened, Jekyll didn't bring it up either but the feeling of guilt that hung around him was enough to know how he felt.)
He was suddenly brought back to reality by the blade pressing even more into his neck, and in that moment he felt truly scared for his life.
Edward Hyde had never feared for his life, he thrived on being alive, Henry Jekyll did not, Henry Jekyll had feared for his life, had yearned to feel alive, truly alive, but had hated the feeling of his own miserable, sad, little life. He didn't like to think about how much he had thought about it during the time had been at his worst. When he became Edward Hyde, he was always so focused on feeling alive, being alive, just existing, that he didn't think about how easy it could be for someone to take that away from him. Of how easy it could be to take it from himself. Not when even breathing felt just so thrilling.
He never would have thought about dying, about that miserable time in his life nor about how little his life mattered in the end, at least not willingly, not unless it was the only thing he could do. Because what else could he do now that he was on the verge of dying like so many years ago? He had spent so much time wanting to die, feeling like maybe he was already dead and just watching his dead body roam around, thinking about when would the time be finally right, when could he leave, That he refused to let go of this feeling of being alive, refused to let go of his life, never even daring to think about it.
So that would have only left him with another option, for someone to take that away from him. He didn't think about that either, he always felt in control whenever he fought or hopped from rooftop to rooftop. He refused to believe he would let someone take that away from him. But he wasn't immortal, as much as he didn't like it, as much as he dreaded that thought, hated the idea. He would die.
There would one day maybe be a bar fight that ended with his lifeless body lying on the floor of an alley, a bar, perhaps even The Society. He wondered what would have been the final blow? Who would have killed him? Would it have been a cop who killed him with a bullet that somehow would have been shot straight to his brain? Would it be a stranger who got too mad at him in a bar fight and decided to choke him until he couldn't breathe? Maybe it would be someone he or Jekyll knew, someone who had heard of him, thought he was a menace and stabbed him in his office and left him to bleed out?
He didn't like to think about it, he didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to die, he refused to die! He was Edward Hyde, he was alive, he got a thrill from just existing, he had never lost in a bar fight before, could pack a nasty punch, and adored the life around him. He refused to be dead again, to be like that again, he couldn't die, he refused to–
But refusing wouldn't do a thing in this situation, because Hyde could do nothing this time. There was no one to fight because he was chained to the wall, there was no life around him, only the dull blues of the mindscape, he could only try and hope that the man, the thing that was wearing the face of his past lover would take some pity on him, even if it was just to make him suffer more, he would take anything, even pain, anything over dying.
For a single moment Hyde allowed himself to hope, to wish for things to be different, he wished for something, someone to save him like in those stories his mother used to read to him as a child that he always secretly hated. He wished to be able to magically get out of those stupid chains and punch Mind Lanyon on his stupid freckled nose, then he would move on to another part of his brain to search for something else to use against Henry, maybe he could find some more mind people that liked him and use them against Henry.
It didn't matter in the end, he could think about what-ifs and alternate scenarios all he wanted but not forever, that wouldn't be able to hide him from what was happening; Such a shame that the universe seemed to despise him.
The blade made a swift cut on his neck and for a moment, Hyde felt pain and thought that Lanyon would just leave him to choke on his blood, the bastard. But he didn't. He allowed him some mercy and with some effort he quickly cut off his head, separating it from his body.
He wondered if Jekyll would notice he was gone, dead. Would he miss him? Probably not, he would probably be glad to finally be rid of him, the bastard. Only Henry Jekyll now, no more evil Edward Hyde to bother him anymore. If it was in different circumstances, he wondered, if there was a body; Would they bury him? Would they miss him? Would they mourn him? Would they even know he had died? Probably not, he was now wanted by the police, they'd just think he fled the country, it's not like they'd miss him that much, they'd probably miss Jekyll tho, they would be worried about good old Dr Henry Jekyll, wondering why he was missing, what would they even do now without him here? Such an innocent poor soul that didn't deserve to leave so soon, while no one would care about Edward Hyde.
He didn't think people would mourn him, he didn't even think he deserved it, he wasn't good enough for that. No one would ever know what happened to him, and if someone did, then they wouldn't care. It didn't matter! He was dead already, his head was cut off by stupid Lanyon of all people, he had caused him to feel like death before. And now he was truly dead because of him .
(He didn't feel like it, he still didn't want to die, and he still felt alive, he still felt afraid.)
It should have hurt, should have . But in that moment all of his senses disappeared, and Hyde felt nothing, he was nothing, nothing at all. Then all of a sudden he was something again, almost as if he was mist, disconnected from almost everything. Almost. He heard Lanyon scream something but wasn't able to discern what it was through the fog, it was thick like a blanket and it burned in a way that would have made him curl up in pain if he still could. The fog and him moved, he felt dizzy, that normally would have stopped him, but it didn't, he didn't really care about anything except the want, the need, to go up.
Something around him, that thrummed, that was slowly getting inside him and called out to him said to go into that direction, up, and up , and up and up . There was something waiting for him, it was a warmth calling out to him, the feeling of a body, a body that was not his own. Maybe it used to be but not anymore, it didn't matter, he still went up. Like a moth to the flame he reached for that and then, he felt a tug from the back of his mind, thoughts, words, feelings, movements, things that were familiar, things that were not his own but that he knew almost like the back of his hand and he reached out. He reached out with a half formed hand and touched something.
It was slimy, weird, almost wet but it didn't stick. It felt like a barrier, a membrane, something in his mind told him. Everytime he pushed against it he felt even more things, he needed to feel more . The barrier wasn't thick by any means but it lasted a lot and at one point it seemed to throw them back. It still broke and when it did he felt the worst pain of his life.
“Well, that-” Henry was suddenly attacked with a violent cough out of the blue, Jasper looked at him with worry
“Are you alright sir?” He asked, Jekyll opened his mouth to answer but the only thing that came out was a pained gasp as he suddenly felt out of breath, a pang of pain hitting him like lightning, similar to that of the formula.
“Y-yes, dont–” He was once again interrupted by coughing, even worse this time, barely allowing him some time to breathe, he then felt liquid going inside his mouth, it was salty and he impulsively coughed some of it out, it burned “I'm–” He tried to say something but was interrupted once again, he was once again overtook with nausea and he knew he had to get out, he had to get out of there and fast. This couldn't possibly be a transformation coming on, surely not, he hadn't even touched the potion ever since the fire! He looked at his hand and the thick, glowing green goop on it begged to differ.
A hand was on his shoulder along with a voice. “Doctor Jekyll–!” In a panic Jekyll shoved him off, almost making him fall onto the ground. Everything was too much, he needed to go somewhere else and fast, not here, not yet, can't be. There was an ocean of things going through his brain at the moment but he did listen to one. He ran, not even explaining to Jasper what happened
“I'm not feeling so well.” He would have said, “I'm afraid we shall continue with this tomorrow, My apologies.” Then he would have left. It was how a gentleman was supposed to act, he was supposed to be calm, to never show to anyone how he felt. But it didn't matter right now. His mouth was full of the formula and he forced himself to swallow it down, it burned and no doubt it would soon be starting to go out of his nose and eyes. He couldn't allow that, not here, not now.
As he ran out of the room and into the halls, he tried his best to not transform here and resist. He knew it would probably make it worse, he thought about how it could make the transformation more painful and longer, how bad it would probably get. He was vaguely aware of Jasper yelling something, it didn't matter, he was so near his office, only a couple more steps and he would be there
Then he saw Robert, as he was making his way out of Jekyll's office, he looked worried but then Robert was suddenly blurry. The formula was now starting to go out his eyes and nose. He saw how his face changed from neutral into something else, he couldn't quite pinpoint his expression because of the formula. He tried reaching out to Jekyll, he was pretty sure he said something, but it didn't matter. He pushed him and finally got inside his office, he heard someone yelling at him outside but Jekyll closed the door, immediately locking it.
He didn't know what that voice said, nor was he able to recognise it, only that it seemed familiar. Jekyll finally relaxed.
That was his mistake, as soon as he did a scream tore out of them. It sounded weird, that was probably the formula. They were correct because they were overtaken by a deadly nausea that made them fall to the floor where they threw up some of the formula. The rest of it aggressively coming out of his eyes and nose, making it even harder to breathe.
Then the last of it came.
Ever since the first transformation none had felt as bad as that one had been, maybe it was worse than the others because it was their first time experiencing those changes, the first time their body changed into that of someone else and a part of their consciousness was almost ripped away and given one of its own. He remembered how he felt before the usual adrenaline that Hyde usually had first took a hold of him, it felt like being in a way too tight suit, except that it wasn't a suit, it was skin and he couldn't take it off and it almost felt like was choking him even if that couldn't have been, right? Then the adrenaline, that weird feeling that Hyde always had that made him feel giddy and want to run around and do stuff took a hold of him and that uncomfortable feeling was forgotten.
It was the same this time, except it was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong- . Their hair wasn't long enough or short, the texture, the feeling of it was different and it wasn't right. His body shifted, organs and bones rearranging themselves, almost melting, to fit in the body of Edward Hyde who was shorter and had a different physique than Henry Jekyll, but it wasn't changing into Edward Hyde, it wasn't . Their body was convulsing and thrashing on the floor, they could barely scream anymore, and even those screams stopped sounding like him and started sounding wrong. Then the pain finally grew less and less.
Whenever that happened they had felt a shift, always. It was either a shift of going from Jekyll to Hyde or from Hyde to Jekyll, this time it was almost like a headache. It felt like a hammer was being driven into both sides of their brain, something trying to make two pieces of a puzzle match, two pieces that weren't made for that. Maybe they were before, a long time ago, but that wasn't now, there had been a change that despite all odds couldn't be reversed, no matter how hard it tried.
There were knocks at the door, some yelling outside and multiple voices, they were able to distinguish Lanyon's voice among the ones outside. They were somewhat aware of Lanyon screaming their- Henry's name. Then they remembered something, they knew that their office wasn't really soundproofed, if Lanyon was standing in front of the door to their office, they knew that he would have heard everything. Lanyon yelled outside, saying something about breaking down the door, to please open the door, it was all white noise to them. It sounded like gibberish and it was overwhelming because it added to the buzzing in their ears, it was too much.
Everything was so wrong . It wasn't like being Hyde, it wasn't like being himself; Hyde was able to ignore the feeling of wrongness that hung around him due to the euphoria he often felt from being alive, from just existing . And Jekyll didn't feel anything new after the potion, he felt the same if maybe a bit lighter because of Hyde carrying out his repressed urges. This person, both Jekyll and Hyde, felt that wrongness deep inside their bones, something beneath the muscles that itched, but that wasn't really there, that made them want to dig their fingers and nails into their skin, to scratch until they had reached so deep down inside of them that even their arm was covered in blood, to then try to make a desperate attempt to get the wrongness out. But they knew they couldn't , the wrongness they had could not be touched, it was not something real, it was a feeling, a feeling that made them yearn for the pain of the transformation again, if only to shut it out for a moment.
Their focus shifted to something else, not wanting to think about that wrongness too much. The clothes of Jekyll on them were one or two sizes too big, they laughed at remembering how they hanged off of Hyde and how those clothes always fit Jekyll just right. It was a weird sound, it sounded hysterical, like the laugh of a madman, it was loud and it vibrated in their ears and hung on the air around them like static.
The buzzing in their ears stopped. Their breathing finally evening out, their thoughts started to be separated from each other and their minds finally escaped the haze of this particular transformation. This immediately proved to be not as good as expected because their breathing soon picked up again as both Hyde and Jekyll panicked.
‘Je-’
Hyde didn't get to talk because of the sound of an ax hitting wood. Their body jumped at the sound andtried to scramble away from it. The ax hit once again and this time it passed right through the door, sticking out of it. they could hear sound of people behind the door, probably The Lodgers and someone struggling to free the ax from the wood.
‘Oh gods, they're here to kill us, We're going to die– WE NEED TO RUN, RUN, RUN’
Their body immediately stepped up and ran, they could have gone to Jekyll's room, it was connected to their office and had a ladder to the rooftop
But their body instead chose the way that Hyde usually used to get out of their office: The Window
They opened it as fast as they could, they heard the ax once again, they stepped on the window and left running and jumping as fast as they could across the roofs, not stopping after one, nor two, but finally stopping once they fell onto one. Their body getting a few scratches from the rough surface. Everything in their mind was silent as they tried to catch their breaths. When they finally got their breathing in order, they realized that half of their vision was being covered by a blonde lock of hair
They stared at it for one minute, then two, then some more minutes
‘Jekyll?’ Hyde finally spoke, his voice was unusually soft for how he usually spoke
‘...Yes, Hyde?’ He answered, he could feel Hyde thinking in their head but chose not to pry, and instead to wait and hear what he'd say
‘What- What happened?-’
They looked at their body, Jekyll's clothes weren't small enough for them but it didn't hang over them like they did when Hyde was the one wearing them; Despite this they felt like they were wearing something not tight or squeezing but something uncomfortable, just enough that you were just about able to feel it, something not quite wrong but still not right.
Their skin was still- wasn't– It was the same skin tone Jekyll had but not the same Hyde had, which Jekyll was somewhat relieved as Hyde honestly looked like he hadn't even known what sunlight was from how pale he was.
Their hair was hard to see besides the blonde lock that covered half of their face, they tried moving it to the side but it just fell back to where it was. From the corner of their eyes they were able to see what looked like a light brown hair, not as dark as Jekyll's was but not blonde like Hyde's.
The more they looked the more uncomfortable they were, they felt a deep dread inside them which in turn made them feel paranoid. It was wrong, it wasn't like that time where there was only Henry Jekyll, where Edward Hyde was still nothing except a name that hadn't yet been given to anyone
It wasn't like when Henry Jekyll had locked himself in his room and refused to see anyone, where he felt he had a wrongness so deep inside him that he thought his only solution would be to die, in those times it would have been so easy to do it, just a quick move of the knife he kept inside his room that he had become so familiar to, in that time would have been just enough because he knew where to aim to make it quick and if that didn't do it he could always drink until he was gone, he almost did. But then he didn't and then he got that idea, the idea that would have made him obsessed with making a formula that could split his soul in half and make him normal , he had gotten so obsessed because of the mere possibility, the thought that he could have escaped what he had become, could have saved him from himself, the broken shell of a man he no longer was and could never be.
But it was exhilarating, it made them almost giddy from the mere irony of it all, it made them want to laugh until their stomach hurt and their eyes were filled with tears. Or maybe not, maybe that was that Hyde-like thing deep inside their veins, waking up at the mere sight of a strong enough feeling to make it ten times worse or better.
Jekyll didn't know what to think, the eyes on their head that maybe weren't even his own from a start felt blurry, trying to take in more details, focusing on them just made everything more overwhelming, their breath hitched.
It didn't make sense! How come he was like this , he was supposed to be the calm one, the one that had everything in control and repressed these useless feelings, he wasn't supposed to feel things so strongly. Ever since that first transformation that made them more separated everything had felt somewhat muted, sure, it wasn't as bad as before but it was there. He had a vague idea of what was happening, something had happened and they seemed to now be sharing (Was it sharing?) a body that seemed to be neither Hyde's nor his own. Would this be permanent? What would they do about this? What could they do? They weren't even at The Society. Oh gods, they weren't in The Society. They weren't in the comfort of their office, they were outside on the rooftop of some bloke who didn't have an idea of who they were nor what was happening
Would people even recognize him now? Who even was he now? Hyde said that he had all of Jekyll's memories when he had been created, was he now not Henry Jekyll? What if it was the same thing happening. Would people recognize him as Hyde ? What if people noticed he was gone and declared him missing, who was he kidding, if The Lodgers didn't notice then Rachel or Robert probably would and then when he found out about a way to get out of this mess, if there was even one then, he would have to deal with the police! Again! And Robert- What was Robert gonna think of him? What would people think of him? If he saw him would he even see him? Would he see a friend? A stranger? Someone familiar? Some thing that you swore you had seen before in your life but that you knew you didn't– What if he thought he was dead and–
He gasped at the sudden feeling of nails scratching violently and rapidly at his skin. The area quickly became red; Jekyll then felt a wave of feelings and panic upon him
Hyde didn't know what to do at these moments, he would have normally not felt scared, he would have normally been absolutely terrified, just like with Mind Lanyon before he had– He…What had he done? He couldn't quite remember; Why couldn't he remember? Probably didn't matter. It felt weird, he felt it but it was just lingering there all around him like a fog, not quite able to touch him.
Sure he was scared, he is scared, but it was wrong, it wasn't normal, it wasn't like him. Like that fear he had when a bar fight went wrong and he was too close to being arrested, when he was found by the coppers after the fire, he had felt scared at those times but there was a thrill in it. Something exhilarating and incredibly exciting in it that made him feel like him , that kept him from thinking too much and just focus on everything, it was something that never got old because it was a feeling that was his . Jekyll never felt like that, he had never felt like that when he was Jekyll.
It was so dull . It was one of the reasons he never wanted to go back into being Jekyll, he hated being Jekyll. Henry Jekyll wasn't alive, not like Edward Hyde was, Hyde often felt giddy at the feeling of just being , of merely existing, there was a constant adrenaline going through him that made him want to move, to do things. Jump from rooftop to rooftop, fuck or be fucked by people of all genders, drink all kinds of alcohol to make everything feel so much better , to heighten the already strong feelings he felt and to add even more to the adrenaline in his veins, and fight people to feel in control, to feel powerful.
Henry Jekyll wasn't powerful, he had never been in control, never had been truly alive . Always wanting, wanting to do so many things, so much stuff that would just ruin his precious reputation. When all those miserable feelings became too much, he locked himself in his room, not able to see anyone and stared at the dark with no thoughts, drank the alcohol inside like water just to try feel better, to dry and drown out the thoughts in his head, and when he tried to sleep; he'd think about the knife he kept in a drawer, the chemicals he regularly worked with, the tallness of the building he lived in, and of just how easy it would be to end it all.
That had been before he had gotten his great idea to make a potion that in theory, would split his soul in half, good and evil. It had been almost funny how Lanyon and Rachel looked upon seeing him like that, seeing him suddenly so excited and hyperactive because of an experiment he refused talk too much about, only speaking in riddles, vague words that couldn't quite explain his idea, and whispers that were to be only heard by himself, they looked at him almost like he was a monster who had just clawed his way out of the dirt and started screaming blasphemies that would make a priest faint (Hyde still wanted to try that one, it'd be funny)
And when he finally , was able to gather all the ingredients, he locked himself in his room in the recently made Society for Arcane Sciences for some days, tinkering with the ingredients and a few formulas until he finally got the result he wanted
It had all paid off when he drank the potion, when he changed from Henry Jekyll to Edward Hyde and was able to feel alive, free ; For the first time in a long long time.
But that was before this. It didn't matter now, Mind Lanyon did something and it seemed they were sharing a body now, it was just great . The worst of all was the disconnect he felt from everything, how aware he was of it all, of that feeling that was closing in around him, that made him feel trapped, that singing in the back of their mind. He didn't know what would've happened if he tried to listen too much to it, he didn't want to know either.
He looked at their skin, it was normal. It didn't have Hyde's little scars from bar fights gone wrong nor Jekyll's from picking at his skin or burning himself.
It was wrong
Hyde looked at their hands, then tried to feel Jekyll's feelings, he was distracted, he was going down a spiral just like Hyde had been; He was tempted to try and help him but he had a better idea in mind.
He pushed at an invisible barrier, he met no resistance, their body tensed up and coughed a bit, some of the formula falling from their lips and the corner of their eyes, it didn't matter, Hyde was in control.
With no hesitation he started violently and rapidly scratching one of their arms, feeling giddy at the pain, it was powerful, it was something he could control, it was there and it cleared out the fog in his mind, the singing didn't sound melodic anymore, it faded away. He didn't stop. Hyde needed to make sure it was truly gone.
‘Hyde!’ Jekyll called out to him in his mind, Hyde heard him but didn't answer, he needed to keep feeling this, he needed more. Jekyll huffed and tried to move one of their hands, it didn't answer; Hyde was in control of their body and Jekyll was a spectator, Jekyll felt almost like he being shoved to the side by something.
‘Hyde, stop!’ He said again, the scratching turned more aggressive as Hyde felt the fog trying to get inside his mind, it was loud and hypnotic as Jekyll tried to take control from him and their skin started to break, they saw blood starting to get under their nails, it wasn't much thankfully but it would be worse if Hyde didn't stop. Jekyll kept trying to force himself to control their body and their body shuddered aggressively, tensing up and breathing heavily.
‘Hyde, stop. This isn't funny, stop it’
‘I- I can't, I…’ He trailed off. Their body shaked with Hyde's emotions, he was feeling foggy, it was as if there was a cold cloud all over him looking to swallow him whole, it was calling out to him. He knew he would drown the instant it had it's claws on him, he wouldn't let it get to him, he couldn't.
‘Edward.’ Hyde came back to himself and a frown set itself upon their face a
‘ I need it, Jekyll, It's too little. I need something, I need to feel something. I can't -’ Hyde continued speaking, noticing the fog disappear as the pain settled, and Jekyll stopped trying to shove him away, he sighed in their mind ‘I- Henry, I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to listen to me, I need you to believe me, alright?’
‘...’ Jekyll didn't answer and thought about it
‘Jekyll.’ Hyde said, not allowing no or silence as an answer, he needed to tell him, now
‘Fine. Talk’
‘ I was in our mind earlier, n-no reason why. And I stumbled upon a weird version of Lanyon, he did something to me, something to us . I can't remember what, it's foggy but…I- I feel like I'm being haunted’
‘Haunted? Don't be silly Hyde, we both know that hauntings aren't like this, and I would feel it as well if you were being haunted, you should know from all the times Ma–’
‘No! Not that kind of haunting you idiot! There's something in– our mind calling out to me, making me feel weird, not like I should feel. My feelings feel underwhelming, it's uncomfortable, and that thing, it calls out to me, it's singing, it sings for me to come to it and be whole again, But I don't want to…It feels wrong, and–’
Hyde stopped, unsure about what to say. There was a silence as Jekyll thought about it, he couldn't say he exactly believed it, if Hyde was truly hearing something like that, then why didn't he hear it as well? It was their mind, perhaps this was another trick of Hyde's so that he could have control but he felt like that probably wasn't the case, he decided to listen to Hyde.
‘Fine, let's say I believe you, Why did you do that ? Why did you hurt your- my- our body, Why did you do it?’
‘...I was–’ He paused, thinking for a moment ‘I needed something else, I needed a strong feeling, I needed to feel something’
‘I…I don't understand’
‘Of course you don't’
Hyde huffed and after a few moments, he made their body stand up as he still was in control of it. They brushed off the dirt that had gotten in Jekyll's clothes and started looking for a way down of this roof
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m searching for a way down, I want to confirm something. Now shut up and help me search’
They were searching for five minutes, and in the end Hyde decided to jump rooftops until he found one with a ladder. He went the opposite way of The Society, not wanting to go back there yet, not before he saw the state their body was in.
It was quite difficult to jump from rooftops while on a different body than he was used to, and they almost fell because of a slippery roof; But in the end they found a ladder, they climbed down it and soon found their way onto the floor.
‘Okay, so what exactly are we looking for, if you may be as kind as to tell me, Oh Great Spirit of London at Night?’
‘Shut up’ Hyde answered ‘We need a reflective surface, preferably something big’
They first looked for big enough windows, but none of them were reflective enough and only allowed them to look inside the houses of their owners; Most of the houses, luckily, had their lights off which meant that the people inside were probably either sleeping or gone. The ones who did have the lights one made them decide to stop looking for windows, the last thing they wanted was for someone to call the cops and have them arrested
They couldn't find a puddle which was the next easiest option
‘Gods, this would be so much more easier if one of us could act as our shadow and see our body, fuck’ Hyde muttered
‘Yes, I admit it would have been rather– Hyde! Look!’
In that instant, both of them looked at a far away alley, it looked abandoned and full of trash. Within this trash was something, a full length mirror, from afar, it looked similar to the one Jekyll had in his office, but was probably broken if the shards of glass on the floor was anything to go by.
They ran to it, almost tripping on their too big clothes, and as they got near, they saw that they were right. The mirror was quite broken, it had a few pieces of glass missing and some others laying around on the floor, they stepped closer, close enough so that they would be able to touch the mirror if that's what they wanted.
They were now able to see their full appearance; Their eyes, which they had not seen earlier, were a bit weird, one seemed to be a mix of red and green, but the other was a bright green, they both seemed to slightly glow in the dark
His hair was almost Hyde's length but not long enough, and it had both Hyde's hair color and Jekyll's, the texture being quite weird as some parts seemed to be wavy and soft, like Jekyll's, some others looked straw-like and messy like Hyde's and there were even some that seemed to be curly, it just added to the mixed look their body seemed to have
His body as well, was somewhat of a mix, it was closer to Jekyll's physique but seemed to be of smaller stature than Jekyll, they didn't know how tall exactly they were but Jekyll's clothes at least didn't seem to hang from their body like they did with Hyde. Their skin tone, however, was a tad bit paler than Jekyll's, thankfully not as pale as Hyde's skin was
The strangest thing of all, was that at certain angles, their reflection seemed to change into that of Hyde or Jekyll for a second, instead of whoever they now were.
‘Hyde?’
‘..I–’
Their breathing turned shaky, as one of their hands went to pick at the healing wound that the scratching had left
‘No- No, no, no, no, no, no! It can't be, it can't- I CAN'T–’
‘Hyde!’
They were now both aware of the shaking of their body as Hyde tried to make their breath even out.
‘...What?’
‘We- No, we can't panic right now, we need to go somewhere else, somewhere safe.’
‘Yes? And where do you suggest we shall go? In case you haven't noticed, We don't have the keys to any of our places, And I doubt The Society or your darling oh so dear lover, Lanyon would let us in!”
‘Hah. I didn't notice ’ He said sarcastically, chuckling nervously at this.
‘Alright. Calm down, it was a joke, a bad one, I shouldn't…’ Hyde said
‘Don't you dare tell me to be calm Hyde! We're OUTSIDE The Society! We have a vague theory about what's happening! We look different! We have NO ONE to help us and I DON'T KNOW WHAT HOUR EVEN IS IT ANYMORE!’ Jekyll yelled at Hyde angrily
‘DON'T YELL AT ME! THIS ISN'T MY FAULT! IT ISN'T! I'M NOT THE ONE WHO BROUGHT US INTO THIS MESS! I'M NOT!’ Hyde yelled back and Jekyll laughed
‘Oh. So now it's my fault, right?! And poor, little Edward Hyde is just a victim of the, oh so cruel, Henry Jekyll! How could I have caused this Hyde, huh? Tell me how this is my fault.’ He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and annoyance
‘I'm not saying it's your fault! If anything, this thing is all LANYON'S fault! That stupid prick, who does he even think he is, getting inside our minds, fucking bastard…’
There was silence for a few moments until Jekyll finally calmed down and decided to talk again
‘Fine. I think I have some money in my pockets, if that's not fallen off at this point, we can either go and search for a bar to spend the night in, or we could see if we can try to break into one of our homes, is that alright with you?’
‘... Alright’ Answered Hyde, voice uncharacteristically nervous.
‘Good, let's go to one of those places, see if we can sleep and tomorrow morning, we shall talk about this.’
They choose a random direction to walk as they didn't know where they were, they started walking calmly when all of a sudden Hyde picked at their wound and then spoke.
‘...Henry?’
Jekyll took a deep breath in, preparing himself for whatever conversation they were about to have now.
‘Yes, Edward?’
They stopped walking.
‘I- I know you said we'd talk about this later but ’ His voice was merely a whisper when he talked again, he sounded scared ‘What are we going to do?’
There was silence.
‘I don't know Hyde, I don't know.’
They kept walking.