This Is Wrong, But I've Never Felt More Right.

by ponyyggirl

Summary:

"You know this ain't right, Johnny.. Bein' with Dallas n' all. This is wrong." His hands trembled at my sides. I felt his breath against my lips.
"I know." His grip tightened. "I've never felt this way about no one before, Kim."

Kimberly Birdsong is a 16 year old girl who moved to Tulsa only weeks ago. She befriends a poor Greaser named Johnny Cade, and ends up falling in love with one of his best friends, Dallas Winston. Little does she know the troubles that lay ahead her in that small forsaken town.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! <3

Chapter 1: Meeting The Greasers...

I woke up laying on my silk floral sheets, sun shining lightly through the blinds that lay across my window. Shit, I thought, standing from my bed. I had fallen asleep shortly after getting ready to go out with Johnny, my friend I met at the Dingo a couple weeks ago. We've grown pretty close in a short period of time.

I peered out the blinds of my window, seeing the boy I was expecting to see. Johnny stood awkwardly with his hands in the pockets of his blue, scuffed up jean jacket. He eyed up at my window and I grinned at him before moving out of his view to quickly check myself in the mirror. I wore a pair of lightly colored flared jeans, a white, tight-fitted T-shirt that read New York City, and a pair of fairly clean black converse. My face was dusted in light makeup to insinuate my features, and my black hair fell over my forehead in slight wisps. I came off as a Soc more than a Greaser, even Johnny himself told me I looked like I didn't belong in that side of the neighborhood. Maybe he was right, but I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere. I finally made my way out of my bedroom and through the kitchen, to the door and outside.

I met eyes with Johnny. "Sorry for makin' you wait so long," I said with a guilty grin, beginning to walk by his side. I studied him as his eyes kept forward.

"You excited?" His lips gently curved up ever-so-slightly to reveal a crooked smile.

"Nervous," I replied, looking forward as we continued walking.

I saw the DX from where we were now, not far away from us. Johnny was taking me to see some of his friends, which are also Greasers. I've already met a couple of them from run-ins around the neighborhood, or they're just known people. I've met his closest friend, his name was Ponyboy. He's a sweet kid, funny, too, when he wants to be. I hoped the rest were like him, or similar to ask for the least.

We finally arrived at the old car place and gas station. I tried to study some of the boys before their eyes caught me, quickly glancing over them all. I saw Ponyboy which relieved me a bit. I shot him a grin, and he returned it.

"Well, Hi, Kimberly. Fancy meetin' you here." 

I giggled a little and nodded my head in his direction, tucking a strand of my black locks behind my ear in a rather nervous manner. I gently put my back against the brick wall of the building as Johnny introduced me in a quick fashion. They all made their comments about me, one called Two-Bit making some remark that had the others slightly tickled, but not as much as himself. I grinned and let out a soft laugh, still nervous. Thankfully, they all went on about their normal conversations, and I quickly felt welcomed. A taller male seemed to strut his way towards me, a shit-eating grin on his face. I knew that grin from anywhere. Anyone would.

He leaned against the brick wall beside me, yet kept his distance as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"Got a cancer stick?" I stuck my hand out for him to hand me one of his cigarettes.

"Sure thing, doll." He spoke in a thick New York accent as he handed me a cig. He took a drag of his own before lighting mine. My pink lip-gloss slightly stained the papery textured cigarette. "I'm Da-"

"Dallas Winston," I said quickly, cutting him off as I inhaled the cancerous smoke. "Everybody 'round here knows you."

He raised an eyebrow at me, seeming very animated. "Is that right?"

"I think about everyone in this town and the next knows what trouble you are." I spoke in a slightly teasing tone, grinning off into the distance as I felt his eyes burning into me. I avoided eye contact, though surprisingly enough I didn't feel threatened in his presence. 

"C'mon, I ain't that bad."

I quickly glanced over at him when he looked away from me. He wore a brown leather jacket paired with a dark purple T-shirt. His jeans were dark and dirty, just as scuffed up as Johnny's, and black combat-lookin' boots on his feet. He had brown locks that barely made it to his black n' bushy eyebrows, and surprisingly handsome features considering what a hood he was. I took it I studied him for a beat too long when his eyes met mine, and I quickly looked away.

"Hey uhh, Kim," He began, searching for my name. "There's this party that's goin' on tonight at Bucks, y'know, Buck Merrill's. I'm throwin' it, there's gonna be tons of booze. All the greasers are comin'." 

I thought for a moment. I caught Johnny staring at us for a for a brief second, but his eyes trailed away. "Do I gotta pay?" 

"Nah, it's on me, Doll. You can drink as much as you want." 

I rolled my eyes in a playful manner at the name he persisted on calling me. I put my cig out on the wall, then dropped it and stepped on it. I simply nodded in response. It was getting cold, the breeze making it feel cooler than it really was. I can tell Dallas noticed because he began taking his jacket off.

"Cold?" He asked and offered me his jacket, a sly grin on his face. 

"This ain't the Dallas Winston I know," I said, accepting his offer as I wrapped the jacket around me. It was many sizes too large, but It did the job. I felt Johnny still staring every so often.

"Better?" Dallas asked, an almost smug look on his face. I nodded a little, grinning. I knew he was flirting, but it's better than being harassed by him.

"Yeah, better. Thanks."

Dallas took a final drag of his cancer stick, letting the smoke flow gently out through his nostrils. "You don't know me. I get a bad rep. Simple as that."

It was silent for a moment.

"You this nice to every girl you run into?" I asked, looking to him.

"Not every girl. Just ones I like." He didn't grin or make a joke this time, he looked to me as well.

"You're a strange man, Dallas. You ain't half as bad as I thought you would be. Not yet, anyways." I had a hint of playfulness in my tone.

He gave me this grin that made me feel kind of weak. I brushed it off though, not wanting to seem bothered by any means. He flicked his cigarette to the concreate ground. I felt a sort of tension.

"What's a nice girl like you doin' out here with Greasers anyway? Shouldn't you be on the other side of this town?"

I shook my head at him. "I ain't a Soc."

"Then what are ya, kid?" He tilted his head slightly. I tried not to study his every move so intently, a bad habit of mine.

"Nothin'. My parents moved here bout a month ago. I don't live far from here, just round' the block, is all."

It was silent for a couple more moments. I noticed the sky starting to get slightly darker, I decided it was time for me to be on my way. I took his jacket off from my shoulder and slid it down my slender arms, handing it back to him. The scent of my perfume was left lingering on it.

"I reckon I should get goin'," I spoke, handing him his jacket as he slid it back over his own toned arms. His scent was left lingering on me. Cheap cologne (probably stolen..), cigs, and booze, mixed with his own musk. "I'll uh.. be at that party of yours. Round' 9, probably." I spoke with a small smile.

"Better be," He spoke playfully, "I'll be waitin' on you."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him, backing up slightly. "I'm splittin', Johnny. I'll see you at that party tonight, yeah?" He nodded at me. I started my way home after being told goodbye by various other Greasers. 

There was something about that Dallas Winston. Despite the horrid things I'd been told about him, I felt drawn to him almost. He was something, for sure. I knew there was something lingering in the air as I trotted home, anticipation for the party, and other things, such as thoughts of my interactions today and occasionally Dallas. There was something waiting for me in the near future, opportunities and relationships just waiting to bloom and run wild. I could feel it. 

Chapter 2: Party at Buck's (Pt.1)

The clock struck 9:25. I had spent the previous hour gettin' all dolled up and pretty for the party Dallas beckoned me to attend. I checked myself in the mirror in a quick fashion, already 25 minutes late. I wore a simple and cute black dress which stopped several inches above my knees, paired with slightly ripped diaphanous black tights. Of course, I wore the same old converse that were always present on my feet. My makeup was heavier tonight, masking the freckles that tattered down my cheeks, the freckles I despised. It was around 9:30 when I was finally out the door and arriving at Buck Merrill's place.

I hesitated for a moment before knocking on the old beat up door of the house, music blasting so loud you could hear it from the other side of town. When I finally knocked, I could see a figure stumbling over to the door to open it. It was Dallas.

"You sure took awhile, I almost thought you weren't coming!" He spoke loudly over the chattering and music so I was able to hear him.

"Sorry, Dal, just got a little busy." I said as he let me in. I could already smell the alcohol on him. "It seems you've kept yourself busy though?" He nodded.

"Yeah, I kept myself busy.. I'm surprised I'm not out yet, it's only 9:30." He was already bordering on wasted. I grinned a little, walking past him to go get myself drinks.

"Well, take it easy big guy!" I spoke over the music, seeing Johnny and Ponyboy sitting at the table with all the booze. Dallas smiled at my comment as he watched me walk over to the two boys, before he went back to some drunken conversation with other greasers. Johnny handed me a beer. I sat down beside him, seeing Dallas look my way every now and then. He couldn't take his eyes off me. A pretty girl like me hanging out with the greasers was certainly new.

"Man, Johnny, I know you said he was wild but he got drunk this early?" I asked, taking a couple swigs of the cold, bitter liquid. Johnny sighed. He knew Dallas shouldn't be drunk this early, and that he was only trying to impress me.

"Yeah.. he gets like this at parties." He replied, laughing a little before looking my way. "How many drinks have you had so far?"

"Only this one. It's my first." I say, taking yet another drink. "I just got here." Johnny nodded in acknowledgement. I could tell he may have been a little concerned for me, especially since I'd never been to a party like this with the so-called 'hoodlums'. He knew how wild they could get, all the brawls and trouble they'd get into. Ponyboy stayed quiet beside Johnny as we talked.

"Don't be drinkin' too much," he began with a mindful tone, staring off at Dallas in the distance, "you don't wanna get all wasted like him, do ya? No offence to Dal, but glory, the trouble he gets himself into."

"Don't worry 'bout me, Johnny." I grinned, ensuring my safety. "Is Dally usually nice like how he was earlier?" I asked the two boys, not knowing what made me so interested in the guy. I kind of hoped the answer was no, wanting to feel like I was special. Johnny sighed yet again. He didn't want me to see Dallas in a good light even though he was trying to be nice and charming. He pondered for a minute before answering.

"No, he ain't really like that usually."

Ponyboy spoke up then. "Well, depends. He don't always treat ladies so kindly."

"I thought so." I said, taking a bigger drink this time. I kept eyeing Dallas, though I tried not to. I couldn't help it. "By the stories you told me, I thought he was just a straight up hood." I shrugged the thoughts off. Johnny took a weed out of his pocket and lit it up. He took a moment to inhale the smoke, before passing to over to me. Then I took a long drag of it before passing it to Pony. "I don't think I'm wild like the others."

Johnny gave off a shrug. He knew a lot about me, I mean, we were best friends after all. He was the only person in this town who really knew me. We'd only been talking for a month or more, but somehow, our bond was stronger than ever. He knew all my troubles and I knew all of his.

"What makes you think you can't get wild like the rest of 'em?"

"Dunno. I much prefer sitting back here and smokin' rather than slashin' up tires with the others, y'know?" I said, taking the cigarette from Johnny as he passed it to me again.

Johnny laughed a little in agreement, nodding his head. He thought it was definitely better to be sitting back and smoking than to be out committing crimes and getting the fuzz on you. "Can I ask somethin'?" He questioned, sounding almost hesitant. I nodded.

"Go ahead." I encouraged, me and Ponyboy both stared at Johnny curiously. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, trying to piece his question together. His eyes even darted to Dallas, and as they did, he finally spoke.

"Have you ever been in love?" He suddenly asked. I wasn't expecting that question at all. He stayed silent, waiting for a reply from me.

"I don't think so." I say, almost finished with my beer. "What makes you ask that?"

Johnny shrugged his shoulders a bit, noticing how my drink was almost emptied. "No reason, I guess. I mean, you don't got anyone who's catchin' your eye or nothin'?"

I glanced over at Dally. He's drinking and yelling, being loud and having a good time. Being wild. We made eye contact and I looked away quickly. "No.... don't think so." Johnny noticed. He noticed how I was looking over at Dally, how I looked away nervously when we locked eyes. He kept his observation to himself, though.

"Interestin'. But I betcha think Dal over there is pretty cute, huh?" He grinned to himself a little, noticing how I nervously downed the rest of my drink at his question before grabbing another. Part of me was hoping Dally would come and drag me away or bother me. I tossed my empty bottle and opened the new one, anxiously drinking again.

"C'mon," I said, flushing a little, "who said I liked Dallas?" I couldn't help but look at him again, my actions deceiving my words. Johnny shook his head at my words, chuckling to himself quietly. He knew someone like me couldn't resist the appeal of a guy like Dallas Winston.

"C'mon now, Kim, you're blushin' and all. You obviously got a thing for the towns greased up bad boy over there."

"Knock it off, Johnny." I said, finishing another beer. The music got louder. my head pounded. I could tell I was getting drunk now. "Come go up there with me, we can dance." I asked Johnny out of pure friendly intentions. He looked almost shocked at my request. I guess I didn't do things like that often, go out and dance, and neither did Johnny.

"Well, alright," He said with a grin as I took his hands and pulled him into the crowded 'dance floor', which was actually just some random dudes living room. Johnny ain't ever danced before, despite the countless parties he's been dragged into by the other greasers.

"Ain't it fun?!" I asked, yelling over the music. I giggled as we danced in an untamed manner, running around, bumping into people and twirling each other around. Johnny laughed. A lot. He had this wide grin on his face, one I ain't ever seen him wear. It felt good to see him loosen up and be wild. He deserved a night like this.

I could feel Dallas Winston's eyes on me from across the room. He's watching as Johnny spins me around, our fingers intertwined. "Is he looking?" I asked, wondering if he would come up to us. Johnny took notice of Dallas watching the two of us. It was obvious that he was jealous, eyes boring into us from afar. Johnny's eyes were glued on the bigger male as he answered.

"Yeah, he's lookin'. You've got 'em jealous." He replied as he spun me around again.

"Is he made jealous easily?" I question again, loudly.

"Kinda. Especially with a pretty girl like you."

I would've taken note of his subtle compliment if I wasn't drunk. "You think we should stop?" My twirls began to slow. "I don't wanna make him mad at you, Johnny!"

"Oh, don't worry! I ain't scared of 'em. He'll get over it."

I breathed heavily, backing up a bit. I tired myself out from all that dancing. "I'll catch up with you later, Johnnycakes!" I said, maneuvering throughout the crowd and to the kitchen, which was thankfully a lot more quiet than the living room. I was alone in there, searching through the fridge for another drink to soothe my pounding head.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Apologies for taking so long to get this chapter out. (NSFW warning on Pt.2 of Party at Buck's!)