Chapter Text
ever since the noble lady of the ieiri family got married to the son of the first general of the kingdom, the stability of the nation has improved. with the strongest healer and the up-and-coming mightiest soldier becoming one, it was deemed as the most beneficial marriage of the entire kingdom.
but since quite some time ago, it never slipped her eyes. shoko knew about her husband's secret.
he was in love with someone else.
it didn't matter— it was a marriage of convenience, anyway. there was no romance happening between them, their relationship was purely for formality.
yet the affair bothered her. not in a way that she was possessive of her husband, but because it was not what she expected.
he was in love with the strongest man in the kingdom— the crown prince.
he sleeps with him, even. it was not until she was doing something forbidden that she witnessed suguru being in an affair that could ruin the entire nation.
two different things. she smoked secretly, while he's fucking the heir to the throne secretly.
she knows the truth will wreak havoc. she knows how it will wage a war, how it will destroy the stability of the state. ultimately, she had to keep her mouth shut about it.
"you still have no children after almost three years?" her mother asked, one family dinner in their house.
shoko licked her lips and stayed quiet. suguru was only sitting silently beside her, trying to rack his mind on what excuse to make.
"don't pressure them, they're still young." her father commented.
"they're 19 and married for two years and ten months. that doesn't bother you?"
frankly, everyone didn't care what the two of them thought. blinded by conventional thinking, their opinions were buried under a pile of responsibilities and achievements they needed to do as a married couple.
shoko bit her lip a little too hard and a metallic taste lingered on her mouth. the thought of the time that she begged her parents not to marry her off made her stomach hurl a little.
she was 16 when she got engaged, and she didn't know the man she was going to marry. it made her feel a bit better to know that the one she was marrying was only months younger, yet it was clear to her that both of them didn't want it.
her parents had her when they were 17— perhaps, the reason why shoko's mother wanted her to follow her footsteps. quite obviously, she didn't want to, but what could she possibly do? she cannot go against her mother.
after the dinner, she heard suguru's mother whisper to her son. "you have to have children with shoko. i am not asking for a favor, suguru. this is an order."
the stoic woman's cold voice sent chills down her spine. as they all left, shoko kept a good smile on her face. her heart heavy, she walked back to their room with him trailing behind her.
defeated, shoko sat on the bed. she started to think of things she could do to con the whole world. should she pretend she's infertile? and what about suguru? he had a lover. she cannot possibly anger the crown prince by having children with her own husband.
she did want to have children— just not with a man who had another person in his heart.
"shoko..." he called her.
"i know about you and his highness." shoko sighed. "since the start of our marriage, i knew."
he didn't even look shocked. suguru could only run his fingers through his untied, long hair. he knew she knew.
"i knew each time you woke up in the middle of the night, just to walk outside to the forest and meet him discreetly. i knew that his wife was protecting him, even though she was pregnant herself. i knew that you felt guilty about her highness, but you were his first and to the prince, you're the only one that matters."
"i'm sorry, shoko." he knelt down in front of her, his eyes looked tired. a wave of guilt overcame her whole existence.
she shrugged. "it doesn't matter, suguru. i shouldn't be all up in your business, but it's insane to be married to someone who has someone else's name engraved in their heart."