Come Back, I Still Need You

by TheVampiresWitch

Summary:

If Agustín had a gift, he’d want it to be time travel.

Then maybe he could have saved her life.

[Alternate ending to Three Seconds]

Notes:

• For planetundersiege.

Happy anniversary, Keith! I love you so much and I hope you enjoy your gift!

Three seconds.

Three seconds was all it took to shatter Agustín’s heart into a million pieces.

He was cold, empty, devoid of all happiness as his happiness had died with her.

He was never going to be happy again, feel joy again, and he didn’t deserve to.

Not when it was all his fault.

If he hadn’t been so slow to realise what was about to happen, if he’d run faster, not tripped on the stairs.

If he’d noticed earlier how much pain she was in.

But he was too late. Too slow. 

He wanted to go back in time. 

If he had a gift, he’d want it to be time travel.

To change the past, to save her life, and spare himself and her family all of this pain.

But time travel didn’t exist.

Pepa was gone, never coming back, leaving Félix without his wife and leaving Dolores and Camilo without their beloved mother.

It’s not fair. It’s not right.

The guilt consumed him, making living day to day almost impossible as he couldn’t turn his feelings off.

Julieta tried to help, his parents tried to help.

Even Félix of all people tried to help. That he didn’t understand; why would Félix care for him, when he was the reason that Pepa had gone?

If Agustín were Félix, he’d blame him entirely. He wouldn’t want to be under the same roof, or even in the same village as him.

He would want to wrap his hands around his neck. 

Yet, Félix had held him as he cried, telling him it would be okay, that it wasn’t his fault.

It felt wrong, like a big fat lie and it made Agustín’s skin crawl. 

It was his fault. All of it.

No one could convince him differently, no matter how hard he tried.

When he managed a tiny bit of sleep, he was plagued with nightmares of what happened that night, over and over.

The rain. The feeling of something not being right.

The rain suddenly stopped, and every instinct in his body told him to move. 

And he did. Just not fast enough.

Upon opening Pepa’s door, the sight that lay before him would forever haunt his nightmares.

Pepa hanging by a rope in her room.

He’d cut her down. He’d tried everything to save her It was too late.

He remembered the sound of his own screams, and the screams and cries of the rest of the family when they realised what had happened.

Camilo screaming and crying for his mami. He was only seven years old.

Julieta and Bruno lost a part of them. Their sister. Their triplet.

And Agustín lost his best friend in the world.

His best friend, his beautiful, bright best friend was dead.

Never coming back.

Gone were the sleepovers, the midnight feasts, the trips to the pub and the alpaca farm. 

Gone were all the things that made Pepa wonderful, her soul gone, leaving only her body behind.

He would never stop blaming himself, he knew the signs. He’d seen Pepa’s depressive episodes a million times, but he’d foolishly hoped that this one would pass like all the others.

She’d been in such indescribable pain that she’d taken her own life, and he’d not helped her in time.

And today, she will be buried.

Before that happened, there was something very important he had to do.

He had to see her. To say goodbye.

And deliver something very special.

Was he frightened? He was petrified.

But he’d failed her when she was alive, and he wasn’t going to do it again.

Never again.

So, he held his breath as he entered the room in which her coffin was held.

He felt so cold. The place had a cold vibe about it, and he felt sick to his stomach as he crossed the room to the coffin.

There he would see Pepa for the last time.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t how peaceful she looked.

So pale, but so still. She looked like she was sleeping.

A peaceful expression on her face, the pain finally being over.

She was no longer in pain.

But he was.

Even with her looking so peaceful, it felt so wrong.

Pepa hated sleeping on her back. She slept on her stomach, sprawled out with her hair and limbs everywhere.

And she always felt like a little furnace, her body radiating heat while her feet were cold.

He burst into tears as reality set in. She’d gone and taken a piece of him with her.

With shaking hands, he placed Pepa’s beloved stuffed alpaca into the coffin with her.

He’d gifted this plushie to her when she was six, and she couldn’t sleep without him.

It was only right that she should cuddle him now, even if giving up the last thing he had of Pepa tore him apart from the inside out.

He gently ran his fingers over her neck. Her soft skin was marked with purple and blue bruises from where the rope had been.

Sobbing, he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to his best friend’s cold forehead.

“I’m so sorry. I will love you forever.” 

 

 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Three Seconds