The Blake's 7 Top Fifteen Clever Methods for Committing Suicide

by Gozer

Summary:

What it says on the box.

Notes:

If you're a fan of B7, you probably have a very high tolerance for dark humor -- or dark humour if you're a Brit or Brit-adjacent -- so I hope your psyche won't be irreparably harmed by the following David Lettermanesque list. This was written in the 80s and I believe it appeared in one of the DSV zines I published back then. As with most humo(u)r, if you don't know the subject, the jokes will sail over your head.

The Blake's 7

Top Fifteen

Clever Methods for Committing Suicide*

by Teenygozer

 

15.  "Chenga": The Home Organ Donor Kit.

14.  Stroll on one of the beautiful, pollution-free beaches of Sarran.

13.  Invite a mutoid to lunch!

12.  Park in Travis' "Handicapped" parking space.

11.  Space Rat bar.  Pink short-shorts.  Need I say more?

10.  Visit the feeding zoo on Terminal.

9.    Andromedans make great penpals!

8.    You on the bottom. . .  Egrorian on top.

7.    Join the Rebellion!  Somebody will eventually get around to you.

6.    Join Federation Space Command!  Somebody will eventually get around to you.

5.    Twenty bags of Pop Rocks, five gallons of Soma.

4.    Cruise the Delta Domes in a drop-top hovercar wearing a Servalan mask.

3.    Kiss Kerr Avon on the mouth and tell him you trust him!

2.    Shadow, anyone?

       . . . and the number one Blake's 7 Clever Method for Committing Suicide is:

1.    Five words:  "AVON, I SET THIS UP!"

 

*Must be read out loud using David Letterman's snide tones.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of List World