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Out of all the horrible and unexpected events to transpire at the Digital Circus, no one could've possibly seen Jax's abstraction coming.
How could they? Out of everyone it seemed like Jax had adapted to the circus the best, that he'd found his way of coping and distracting himself from the meaninglessness of... everything, and yet... here they were.
Jax was gone.
Pomni didn't know how to feel if she was gonna be honest. Jax wasn't someone who she had a particularly positive relationship with, that went for everyone really, and she'd be lying if she said that there weren't times where she just wished he wasn't here. Yet she didn't feel any form of joy upon discovering his abstraction. The only thing she felt was... shock.
It had been so sudden. One day he was completely normal... the next he was gone. Even now no one really knows what happened, but if Pomni had to guess, the constant chaos and violence he was causing just... wasn't enough of a distraction anymore. It was rather distressing to be honest. He wasn't acting any different the day before he abstracted, had he really been hiding his mental degradation that well? Or did she just not care enough to notice?
The funeral wasn't much better.
No one really had anything positive to say about the rabbit. The most anyone could come up with was backhanded complimenst that mostly boiled down to "he stopped things from being boring". It was just... awkward, and Pomni could tell that no one really wanted to be there and that really, this was being done out of obligation. Jax was a human too after all, the least they could do was try and pay him some respects, even if no one really respected him.
Out of everyone though, Ragatha had definitely been the one to take it the worst.
She had been the only person who really seemed to show any form of emotion during the funeral, and afterwards she just sort of... disappeared off into her dorm without saying anything. The others agreed that they should give her some space. That she likely wouldn't want to be around anyone right now, Pomni disagreed.
Pomni knew how Ragatha was when it came to these types of things. Leaving her alone was a bad idea. Especially since once all was said and done, she'd be back to her optimistic self once again, acting as if everything was fine and nothing was wrong. She also knew that Ragatha was the type of person to blame herself for things that aren't her fault, something that she was very likely doing right now.
So, despite the others' objections, Pomni elected to go check on the ragdoll.
Walking through the hallway felt... unnerving honestly. Normally this would be the time when Jax would start annoying her, or one of his pranks would catch her off guard. Yet this time there was nothing. Just an eerie silence. As she continued, she couldn't help but pause on Jax's door. It had a red cross going through it now, which was to be expected of course, that's what Caine did with anyone who abstracted. Never in a million years would she think that Jax's dorm would become one of the many that were crossed out.
It felt unnatural.
It felt wrong.
Shaking her head and looking away, Pomni continued her walk until she reached Ragatha's door. At first, she just stood there, listening. She didn't know what she expected to hear. Crying? Distress? Happiness? Screams of insanity? Yet there was nothing. Taking a deep breath, Pomni raised her hand and knocked on the door.
"Ragatha? It's Pomni. Are you okay in there?" She called out, her voice quiet.
No response.
"Listen I- I know you might want to be left alone right now but... I'm here if you need me..." She tried again.
Still nothing. Pomni was about ready to give up at this point.
"I-I can go if..." Yet before she could finish her sentence, the sound of shuffling was heard. Then footsteps. Then the door opened, though only slightly. A familiar eye staring at her through the crack.
"Hey..." Pomni spoke up, a small smile on her face. She couldn't help but see the irony in this situation. She recalls her second day at the circus, how it had been her on the other side of the door, peaking out towards Ragatha when she came to check up on her, yet now the roles were reversed.
"Could I... come in?" She finally asked. Silence was the only thing she heard for awhile, then Ragatha opened the door all the way, giving Pomni room to go inside. Hearing the door click shut, Pomni took a quick moment to take in Ragatha's room before finally turning to face the ragdoll in question.
She wasn't making eye contact, nor was she speaking. It was unusual.
"So uhhh... are you... doing okay?" Pomni started off. No response. God the tension was worse than how things were on her first day.
"You uhh... you don't have to talk about it if-"
"I just didn't expect it to happen" Ragatha suddenly spoke up, cutting Pomni off. She was staring off now, her eyes not seeming focused on anything in particular.
"I mean... I knew it would've one day but..." The ragdoll trailed off, seeming to find it difficult to find her words.
"...I didn't even realize there was anything wrong with him" Her tone sounded dejected, defeated, Pomni didn't like it. Being sad and tired was her thing damnit! Not Ragatha's.
"W-Well, neither did any of us so..." Pomni said in response, hoping that maybe the shared ignorance would make Ragatha feel less guilty over not realizing what was happening.
"Yeah but- I've known him for years Pomni! I was there when he first entered! I should've realized that something was off" Ragatha insisted, looking more agitated now, though evidently at herself more than anyone else.
Pomni went quiet. She honestly didn't know what to say in response to that, what was there to say? It's not like anything Ragatha said was wrong. From her understanding, Jax had entered the circus not too long after Ragatha did, Gangle following shortly after. So he's been here awhile, longer than any human should really.
"I didn't even cry during his funeral... I did that for everyone else and yet he..." Ragatha continued, clenching her hands into fists.
"I just... I feel like such a failure. I try so hard to keep everyone happy and sane and yet... it never works" The ragdoll pressed herself against the door, sliding down it before curling up into a ball. Pomni's lip quivered. Ragatha was really being hard on herself huh?
The jester stood there for several seconds, not uttering a word as silence enveloped the room. She needed to find a way to fix this. Or at least... make things better. Ragatha was her closest friend in the circus for crying out loud, she should know what to do!
Thinking for several moments, Pomni finally came up with something that, assuming she doesn't #$%! it up, should be able to help her. Taking quiet, yet audible steps forward, she took a seat next to Ragatha. Taking a deep breath, Pomni thought over what she should say before finally speaking up.
"Ya know... Ragatha. This might be a bit hard to believe since I... wasn't the nicest to you back then but... if it weren't for you... I don't think I would've made it past the first week of living in the circus" There was no response, at least, not an audible one, but Pomni could tell from the slight shift in the ragdoll's movement that she was listening. Seeing this as her chance to make progress, Pomni continued.
"I... think I would've abstracted honestly. There were certainly times where I came close, but..." The jester looked up at Ragatha, now making direct eye contact with her.
"You were there for me... despite everything. Despite me being an #$%hole at times, you... still... stuck by my side, and now... while I wouldn't say I'm completely okay... I'm, at least better than I used to be, and that's thanks to you Rags" Ragatha still hadn't made any audible response, god she hoped this was working.
"And... while I can't say this for certain... I think you saved the others too. Kinger, Gangle, Zooble. I don't know if any of us would've made it this far had it not been for your kindness" Ragatha gripped her dress, seeming to have a reaction to that statement. It wasn't positive, it wasn't negative, but it was something.
"What I guess I'm trying to say is..." Pomni took a low breath. She didn't know if this was a good idea, and she wasn't a big fan of physical contact, but she knew Ragatha was. Reaching her hand out, she placed it delicately over Ragatha's own.
"You aren't a failure Ragatha. You've done your best and... I think everyone is thankful for that. So... don't beat yourself up too much about it okay? We all care about you" Pomni allowed herself a small genuine smile, hoping Ragatha could see it. There was nothing for awhile, just silence. Then, Pomni felt a slow movement as Ragatha's hand turned around and gripped Pomni's, giving it a soft squeeze.
Finally bringing her head up from her knees and straightening them out, Pomni felt a warmth in her chest as she was met with a small, yet very much visible smile from the ragdoll.
"Heh, wow... I didn't realize you could be such a sap Pomni" Ragatha said in a tone that held no real heat. Pomni couldn't help but blush at the statement.
"W-Well I... I mean, I dunno, I guess I've always had that skill I-I" God damnit, she thought she was over her anxious phase! What the #$%! was this?! Ragatha laughed at the smaller girl's stuttering.
"Seriously though, thanks Pomni I... I think I needed to hear that" The ragdoll said again after finishing her giggling fit. Taking a deep breath, Ragatha looked up at the ceiling.
"Whew, I was really being a downer there huh? Sorry you had to see that Pom" Ragatha voiced, tone slightly apologetic, Pomni shook her head.
"No no it's fine. I was just... happy to help. Feels good to give back to someone who's done so much for everyone else"
"Oh you flatter me Pomni, you really do" The ragdoll responded, pinching the jester's cheek. Pomni couldn't help but laugh as she attempted to bat Ragatha's hand away.
"Raggy stop it!" She pleaded, though there was no real heat to her words. Ragatha was probably the only one in the circus who she felt comfortable enough with to allow for physical touch.
Laughing some more, Ragatha stood up, letting go off Pomni's hand in the process, the jester doing the same.
"Well, I think that's enough sulking for one day. What say we head back out and spend time with the others huh? I could use their company" Ragatha offered, Pomni nodded, more than happy to spend time with their other friends. Though before she did...
"Are you sure you'll be okay Rags?" She just had to make sure. The ragdoll nodded, giving the jester a thumbs up.
"Yeah, I think so. I'd be lying if I said it won't take a bit of time to get used to Jax not being here but... I think I can manage. Especially when I have a cute little jester by my side" Ragatha responded with a wink. Pomni's face flushed though she tried her best to hide it. Opening the door, Ragatha exited her room, gesturing for Pomni to follow, to which the jester did without question.
Were things at the circus still tough? Yeah. But as long as everyone had each other, everything was going to be okay.