Chapter Text
"Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous." - Yehudi Menuhin
The Rhythm of Order and Chaos
Chapter 1
.*•.°
It was one of those sweet springs evenings, when the air was still cool as fresh water and the breeze carried the fragrance of flowers. Lucy Gray ran through the meadow, hands trailing along behind her, tall grass tickling her fingertips.
The tree loomed out at her from the dark, looking as ominous as it sounded. The Hanging Tree. The place where so many people had dangled from their necks before going on to meet The Reaper.
But she’d turned it into somethin’ else. A place of meeting for herself. But not with any Reaper.
“Hey there, little wild thing.”
From out behind the tree, moving toward Lucy Gray with a smirk as mischievous as it was charming, came Billy Taupe. Her heart lifted and her stomach did a little dance as she ran to him. He lifted her into his arms and spun her twice before bringing his lips to hers. He tasted like liquor and moonlight and the combination made her dizzy.
There was this edge of danger Billy Taupe had and it was something she couldn’t seem to help but love. They fought and raised all hell with each other, but there was history and affection between them that always managed to smooth things over.
Lucy Gray leaned back and opened her eyes to stare down at him, his forest scent surrounding her as the night birds sang above them. But then her breath caught as she realized she was staring down into eyes of blue instead. Blue and cold as winter ice. The arms around her tightened, constricting her, and she had a sudden fear that she wouldn’t be able to get away. The forest fragrance changed into a sickly sweet, floral one. Roses.
Will he kill me?
“Coriolanus…” She whispered in dread.
His answering smirk sent daggers into her heart. So deadly. So detached. She couldn’t stand to see it on his once beautiful face. Her protector, her savior, transforming into her enemy. His danger had never been so obvious as Billy Taupe’s, but subconsciously she’d been drawn to it in the same way. She had just never imagined it would turn around and bite her. The snake she loved, the snake who had been as charmed by her as any of the others, had shed its skin and had revealed itself in the most gruesome way.
“I said that’s enough, Lucy Gray.” He hissed.
.*•.°
She woke with a start, heart racing and breathing as shallow as an empty milk pail. She checked her surroundings as she quickly sat up, seeing only the forest around her and the little campfire in front of the small cave she’d claimed as her own. A little piece of torn fabric fluttered over the opening, as a soft spring rain fell outside.
Lucy Gray breathed out and lifted a hand to her head, wondering if the dreams would ever stop. It was about time it was all put behind her. She’d been trying to keep track of the passing time by way of the seasons and, by her reckoning, it’d been almost three years. Just a few months shy, as the earth was on the tail end of spring.
Absently, she traced the gnarled scar on her upper right arm, where a bullet had been lodged. Lucy Gray winced as she remembered the struggle to get it out and the fear afterwards that it might get infected without proper treatment. But she’d managed to hang in there. She’d managed to survive an awful lot out in the wilds on her own.
She stood and walked out into the pale morning, tilting her head back and welcoming the rain as it cleansed the dirt from her skin. She ran her hands through her hair, letting it get as good a wash as she could manage.
Humming under her breath to the gentle trill of the birds, she felt a longing for her own songs and for her guitar and for the Covey. There wasn’t another soul around anywhere and the loneliness made her ache something awful. Lucy Gray missed her audience. She missed her performances.
But she was alive and that was more than could be said for what her fate might’ve been back in Twelve. After she’d been hunted down by her lover in the trees, she knew the option to ever return to the Covey was gone. He would’ve found her there and he would’ve finished what he’d started.
Lucy Gray shook away her self-pity and moved deeper into the forest, where she spent most of the morning foraging for berries. Dwelling wouldn’t do her any good. Instead she imagined what the Covey might be getting up to. Was Maude Ivory writing a new song at the moment, new star of the show that she was? Had Clerk Carmine grow into a becoming young man, stealing the hearts of the little ladies watching? Had Barb Azure ever managed to turn out some of that fresh goat’s butter? Had Tam Amber finally decided decided to go on out and buy himself that new hat?
Part of her still hoped that they’d follow her outside the districts someday. She hadn’t wandered off too far, after all. She didn’t want to make it impossible for them to find her, if they ever had a mind to. The thought of that day was really what kept her going from one day to the next.
She sat and chewed on a blackberry, the juice sweet and sunshine warm. She breathed in the fresh air and delighted in the breeze. Wouldn’t be too much longer until summer and all the sweltering heat with it. Better to appreciate the final bits of cool before then.
She ate another handful of berries before standing and wiping her hands on the dingy skirt she had. She decided to change into something else and walked into the cave, where she bent to inspect her sparse selection of clothes.
Her fingers closed around the ruffles of her mama’s rainbow dress, heart twisting at the sight of it. It had once brought her comfort, like a warm hug from the woman she still missed so painfully. But it had become tainted now. More a reminder of her time in the arena and of the mentor who’d helped her through it all. The boy she’d once trusted with so much certainty.
Originally, she’d left it behind for Maude Ivory, along with all the rest of her mama’s dresses. But a month after leaving, she’d risked sneaking back into the Seam in the dead of night to retrieve it. She’d wanted to give the Covey some sign that she was alright. She knew they’d understand what it meant.
She’d never worn it though. She hadn’t had much heart to.
But I have to put this behind me eventually, don’t I? Can’t avoid it forever. So she slipped on the dress, ignoring the way her body tensed as she did. She held her head high and resolutely walked out of the cave, gathered her dirty clothes and brought them down to the stream, where she went about scrubbing them clean.
She had been relieved to find that Coriolanus had left her supplies untouched by the lake. She hadn’t had to go without the provisions she’d prepared. She had extra clothes and cleaning supplies and cookware. But she’d already used the last bits of soap, so she made do by using yucca plants. They lathered nice.
She set the clothes on a nearby rock to dry then slipped off her shoes and let her feet dangle in the water. She watched the sunlight glisten off the surface and tried to summon a song.
She opened her mouth and breathed in before singing. She’d only gotten out a few notes though before her voice cut off and she sighed. It had been difficult to get into singing since leaving everything behind. She just hadn’t felt the motivation. Smoothing a hand over her dress, she forced herself to be okay with wearing it.
Banishing thoughts of Coriolanus Snow, she thought of only her sweet mama, looking so beautiful in this very dress. She remembered herself admiring it with envy as a child, eager for the day when she’d grow up and get to wear it for her herself.
Now here I am, she thought. With it fitting snug as a fine glove.
There was a final, peaceful moment, where there was nothing but the wind and birdsong and the flowing stream. But a new sound suddenly emerged from within the forest and Lucy Gray shot up and gazed into the trees, trying to make sense of it. It sounded mechanical. It sounds like some sort of vehicle.
She quickly bounded away, leaving her campsite and putting as much distance between herself and the sound as possible.
Finding a deep ravine, she quickly walked down and hid in a cranny between two fallen logs. A snake slithered away as she disturbed its habitat and she muttered an apology before lying still and quiet.
From the direction of her cave, she heard distinctly human shouts.
What was going on? No one was supposed to be out here. And if there were, they wouldn’t be driving around in anything.
No, they had to be from Panem. What were they doing?
The forest came alive as birds scampered away and larger animals ran away from the disturbance. Several moments later, the pounding of steps could be heard too.
Lucy Gray shut her eyes tight and sank down as far as she could, hoping she was obscured enough if they moved closer.
“They should be around here somewhere. That fire was still recent. You head back and start confiscating it all.”
Lucy Gray’s heart sank. Even if she went undiscovered, she’d be losing all of the supplies that had been so helpful to her.
The footsteps came closer.
What would they do if they found her? Shoot her on sight? Drag her back to district Twelve for a public execution?
Her chest was pounding and she forced herself not to panic. It was too late for running. The best thing was just to stay right where she was and not move a muscle.
“Look! Down there.” One of the men said.
Lucy Gray tensed as she heard the fall of their boots. She could see them from under the log.
Where had that snake scampered off to? It might give them a little scare if they came across it. Enough to distract them.
“What is it?” One of them asked as they paused at the foot of the ravine she’d climbed down.
“Piece of clothing, looks like. Something bright.”
With dread, Lucy Gray looked down at her skirt, where a piece of raspberry colored fabric had torn on her way down.
Had it been any of her other clothes, the fabric might have gone unnoticed, but because she’d chosen to wear this dress, it stood out like sore thumb.
I should have stuck to my guns and never put it on.
They moved forward, sure now that she was down here somewhere. They’d come upon her any second. Lucy Gray breathed out and tried to ready herself for it. Whatever it was, she could face it. The fear was a strangling thing, but there was nothing to do about it.
The men stoppwd where she was lying and lifted the fallen, crumbling piece of rotted tree, finding her there as she slowly lifted her eyes.
It was two Peacekeepers, mean-looking too.
“Well, what’d we have here?” The one on the left announced. He had ruddy hair and freckles.
“Fun’s over,” the other said gruffly before reaching down and grabbing her roughly by the arm. He gave her a shove forward and pointed the gun at her back. “Walk.”
The ruddy man took lead and Lucy Gray followed between them. They led her up out of the ravine and back through the forest. Her eyes swept longingly over her little camp, now being ravaged for goods. Whatever they didn’t take they were throwing into a fire.
They brought her to a large, armored truck, then opened a set of chained doors.
“Up you go. In with the others.”
Others? Lucy Gray questioned before being shoved inside the dark interior. She heard the latch click in place then gazed around at the four other people around her.
A man, two women, and a child of about ten.
“Only one living here, by the look of things.” The gruff man announced as she listened to their footsteps fade.
Lucy Gray swallowed down her terror and looked into the faces of the people with her. They looked just as frightened as she did.
It was almost like being rounded up for the Hunger Games again. Stuck in a cage like this. But she was sure the only thing waiting for them was the Hanging Tree, where they’d all be strung up for treason.
She gazed sadly at the child, who was sobbing into his mother’s dress. He was skinny, messy, and his skin was covered in scrapes.
After several minutes, the men returned. Looking out the small window, Lucy Gray made out four of them in all.
“How long you been out here?” The younger woman asked Lucy Gray.
“Right about three years. Couple months shy. You?” Her voice sounded raw with disuse. It’d been just as long since she’d spoken a single word to another person.
“Only a few months for us. This one has had a hard time of it.” She nodded down at the boy who was still clinging to his mother.
The mother’s eyes suddenly started to sheen with tears. “We’re going off to the gallows, aren’t we? That’s what they do to runaways, isn’t it?”
“I’ve never met another runway ’til now, so can’t be sure.” Lucy Gray tried to ease the woman’s worries with a glance at the fearful child.
But she felt certain that was what would happen. She was only thankful that it was a quick way to go and that the child wouldn’t have to suffer.
They drove around a few hours before circling around again.
“Don’t think we’ll be finding any others today.” She heard one of the soldiers say from the front. “Let’s call it a night.”
Were they just rounding up people who’d escaped then? Was it standard to do that? She’d never heard of it, but then maybe they kept it quiet. Maybe there wouldn’t be a public hanging. Maybe it would just be a firing squad in the woods somewhere, where they’d bury them away without a trace.
If she’d known, she wouldn’t have stuck so close by. She’d have put as much distance between herself and district Twelve as was possible. But now she hoped it was a secret execution. At least none of the Covey would know. They could go on thinking she’d made it far away and was safe and sound out in the wild.
The child’s stomach grumbled in the dark and Lucy Gray heard him shift restlessly. She reached into the pocket of her skirt, where she grasped a handful of blackberries and promptly handed them over. “Here. Eat these. They’re still fresh. Picked them just this morning.”
She felt the child’s hand grasp them.
“Thank you,” his mother said.
“’course,” Lucy Gray answered.
“I’m Annette.” She said then. “And my son here is Bramble. That’s my husband Sprout and my sister Lorraine.”
“Nice to meet you all.” Lucy Gray smiled, though they couldn’t see it. “I’m Lucy Gray Baird, of the Covey Bairds.”
“The Covey?! We know about you!” The younger woman, Lorraine piped up. “You played at my brother’s wedding a few years back.”
“That’s right,” Annette chimed in. “They said you’d just vanished one day. That cousin of yours, Maude Ivory, made mention that you’d turned unto a bird and flown away.”
Lucy Gray laughed. Just like her ballad. Leave it to Maude Ivory…
“That child’s really come into her own. Can charm a whole audience,” Lorraine said.
She felt her heart lift at that. It was exactly what she’d hoped for. Even though there was no good end to where they were headed, she was happy to at least be able to be talking to people again. It filled her right up in such a warm way. And to get this last bit of good news about the Covey? Well, that was just the cherry on top.
The truck rumbled on down the road, past the tree, past even the Peacekeeper’s barracks. Lucy Gray started to feel confused as her eyes narrowed. Intuition told her that something else might be going on. She couldn’t imagine what they had in mind for them, but it certainly wasn’t what she’d been thinking.
Her throat tightened and she again told herself to stay calm. She could still face it with her head held high. Whatever it was.
The truck finally stopped at the train station and Lucy Gray shrank back, eyes darting around the platform warily. It was pointless though. The person she was worried about was all the way in District Two. She didn’t know how long Officer’s training took, but she had a feeling Coriolanus would never choose to come back to Twelve anyhow.
When the Peacekeepers came around to haul them out, Sprout spoke for the first time.
“What are you doing? Where are you sendin’ us off to?”
“Change in protocol. You’re headed to the Capitol.” The ruddy Peacekeeper shrugged. “I have no idea what they’ve got planned for you there. Nothing good, I’m sure.” He laughed. “Dr. Gaul’s overseeing this little project. My guess would be that she means to turn the lot of you into Avoxes.”
Lucy Gray’s eyes widened and her hand went automatically to her throat. An Avox? The thought was nearly as horrifying as the Hanging Tree itself. To never be able to use her voice for singing again…
And being sent off to the Capitol of all places too. Where everyone would be sure to recognize her. It made her sad to think about. Not being able to use her voice for singing songs for them, or anyone else, ever again. And to live a life in a place like that. As removed from nature as possible.
They were forced into a train car, one that was at least more bearable than the one that had transported her to the Capitol the first time.
She and the others were pushed into seats and they were cuffed and chained there.
Lucy Gray swallowed, looked at the frightened child one more time, then let a song flow from her, bittersweet but meant to comfort.
If she wasn’t going to be keeping her voice much longer, then she wanted to be sure to use it for the time she had left.
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
She watched as the child started to fall asleep, lulled by the tune. Lucy Gray smiled to herself then closed her eyes, leaning against the murky train window. She let all her lonely feelings be soothed by the singing words.
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Memories of the Capitol started swirling around in her brain and with them the memories of Coriolanus Snow. To this day, she couldn’t believe she’d been so dead wrong about him. Or maybe she hadn’t. She still didn’t know. She wasn’t sure when he’d changed into someone she could no longer trust.
It was that lie, she thought. He killed someone and it was bad enough that it changed him into someone I couldn’t recognize anymore.
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Her heart started racing as she remembered the image of him hunting her down in the woods. The panic was still so fresh. He’d looked like someone else completely, eyes so hateful.
She told herself to stay calm. He was the least of her worries now. She was probably headed right into a much worse fate.
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers everyone
Oh, when will they ever learn?
When morning came, the train lurched forward and the long journey to the Capitol began. Lucy Gray contented herself with watching the sun rise over the trees, painting the sky in so many magnificent colors. She admired the colors with a sigh and a small smile. It was far too beautiful to not be appreciating, no matter how bad her circumstances were.