Chapter Text
Governor Ferguson had insisted on them having drinks after work. A debrief, she had called it. And Vera had said yes. She could not have said no. Joan was right, she needed to make time for herself; her mother was a lot do deal with. She was grateful for the distraction and the excuse to avoid her house.
How she missed the silence when Rita had been in the hospital.
Joan’s pour of vodka was generous. Her pour of soda water much less. Still, Vera drank her poison, only slightly grimacing. She refused to appear weak in front of the new Governor. The other woman seemed unaffected by the liquor.
She smiled kindly and Vera felt herself melt at the sight.
It was rare, seeing the Governor smile.
She could hardly look away as she freed her hair from the tight bun. It looked soft. And disciplined even after a whole day in a bun. Hers was unruly, always.
She laughed and confessed secrets that were never supposed to leave her lips.
And she laughed some more, giggling uncontrollably after her third drink.
It felt like friendship. Friendship with an imposing and accomplished woman who had chosen her, of all people.
She felt special, more than she had ever done, and she had not needed to invent a fake boyfriend or create herself a new personality. The Governor had picked her for who she was.
She had seen her. The real her.
“Come on, Vera, you’re in no state to drive.” Joan said. She carefully cleaned their glasses as her deputy watched her from her chair in the office.
“You’ve had as much to drink as I have.” Vera protested. She slurred her words and giggled again.
“I’ve a much higher tolerance than you.” She replied. “I’m twice your size.”
Her deputy looked her up and down as she walked closer to her. She was much taller and curvier than her, she noticed appreciatively.
Disinhibited from the amount of vodka in her system, she ogled her openly. Joan silently took note of her interest.
“Let’s go, Vera.” She said. She grabbed her deputy’s bag and jacket, making sure her keys and phone were inside.
The younger woman wobbled as she stood up. “Oops.” She giggled again.
Joan did not share her amusement. She caught her just in time to avoid her falling back onto the chair.
“Sorry.” Vera had the decency to look sheepish. She grabbed Joan’s forearms to hold herself up.
She was so tall and felt so warm. She looked at her, as she had never dared to, examining the way the dim lighting and her hair softened her features. Her lips seemed silky; how strange that she had never thought of her lips before.
The Governor let her watch, masking the confusion she felt for a second. It did not take her long to understand, though: her drunk deputy wanted her.
She felt the hands on her forearms bring her even closer. Her body was almost flushed with Vera’s. It appeared it had been purposeful on her part.
The younger woman stood on tiptoes, a look of determination on her face.
It seemed vodka had made the mouse bolder.
Joan indulged her. She leaned down to meet her in a tentative kiss.
Thought hesitant at first, Vera grew confident.
When one of her hands left Joan’s forearm to find her waist, the Governor broke away.
Her subordinate looked surprised. Was it at her own actions or at Joan’s?
She chose to ignore it.
“It’s late, let’s go.” She said firmly.
Vera followed, still panting in shock. She held onto Joan’s arm for stability and followed her to her car.
They drove to Vera’s house in silence. The deputy resisted the urge to turn on the radio.
She felt nothing but confusion. Had they not kissed? Were they not going to talk about it?
Joan acted as if nothing had happened.
She wondered if she had not imagined it all. Her vision was blurred, she was uncoordinated. She could feel it as she willed herself to sober up.
The Governor parked in front of her house and left the car to open her door and walk her up the driveway.
That was more chivalrous behaviour than she had seen in the very few men she had dated.
Vera stared at her again as she unlocked the door. Would she kiss her again?
“I will come and get you in the morning. I’ll text you when I leave my house.” Joan said.
“Thank you.” Her deputy replied.
Joan nodded and walked back to her car.
“Goodnight.” Vera added before getting inside to relieve the nurse. She was not sure the Governor had heard her. She had not answered.
The next morning, she woke up with a pulsing headache and an upset stomach. She groaned as her alarm screeched.
Her mother looked furious as she finally made her way downstairs to greet her. She listed her grievances: her coming home late on a school night, her getting drunk, her not being able to drive herself home…
Vera ignored her, mechanically preparing her breakfast and her medicine. She did not have the strength to fight. Let her mother complain about her ungratefulness, unprofessionalism and unreliability.
She sighed in relief when the nurse arrived.
Joan texted her that she was on her way and memories of their evening came flooding back.
She had made a fool of herself, ending up so inebriated when Joan had looked as sober as ever.
And then, there was that kiss.
Had it happened?
She frowned. She had no evidence of it, only a fuzzy recollection of it.
She knew alcohol could affect one’s memory. But could it create new ones out of nowhere?
Joan greeted her at the door and drove her to the prison, telling her about the new inmate’s death the night before. Business usual.
She only smiled slightly as she asked Vera how she felt and received a groan in return.
She mentioned nothing about their possible kiss.
Vera Bennett decided to drop the issue altogether. Joan was not angry with her, so that was it.
It was much easier to pretend she had not drunk-kissed her boss who happened to be a woman. Much, much easier.
It’s not that Joan had not enjoyed the kiss or that she would not want to do it again. It is just that she believed Vera too fragile to handle more in that moment. She was not sure her deputy even remembered, anyway, what with the state she was in.