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A minute before the great Techno died he felt pain in every bone. Too bad he cant drop kick cancer. His body gave up trying to fight it. He slipped into darkness, knowing his time was over. Techno was dead.
"Hello, Alex. I will help you move on. I am the one you created, the Blood God. I am able to eat after every bedwars kill. You are my creator, so blood must be spilled from you for us to meet. You lived a good life, so when I leave and you transfer you will be rewarded. Blood for the Blood God!"
"Thank you sir. Uh. Thanks. For the info."
The world spun and Techno dropped too the floor with a really loud thud.
Techno woke up in a forest. He could have sworn he was dead. He could hear someone talking but nobody was there. He herd "Eeeeeee" "Technooooooooo" and "L" It took a moment until it was so obvious. Looking at the trees, they were blocky. So was his hand, but it was pink. He felt a crown on his head and could see his cape. A Minecraft world in real life. Bruh. Hopefully mechanics worked the same.
Techno stepped toward the tree, starting to punch it. He felt no pain, but he could still feel the bark as he punched it. After a few punches, an oak log item popped out and went into a pouch. He took the log and tried to figure out how to turn it into planks. He started by trying to pry it into fur parts. When that failed, he took the wood and stomped on it. Next, he imagined turning the wood into planks.
Woo, that worked. He used that new knowledge to craft a wood pick and mine some stone. Very soon he had an iron sword, pick, armor, and a bow with a stack of arrows. He wasn't fully kitted out because going deeper probably meant tons of mobs. He was fine with the few that stumbled onto his path, but he didn't know if it would be a great idea to test out respawn mechanics. There would be too many mobs at diamond level, so sticking to shallow, small caves seemed as good an idea as any. It was almost night, but he killed some sheep earlier and made a bed. Digging out a 4 block deep ditch and sealing off the top, he mined a bit of a hole with enough room to place a bed, walk around a bit, and smelt some items. Going to bed was easy, just get in and he was sleeping.
When Techno woke up, he needed to dig himself out of his hole, gather his items, and explore. He continued walking until he found a small treehouse. There was a path leading to a big build in the distance. Civilization is always a good sign in minecraft so what better than to start heading that way. Wait. There was a building that looked like that on build in minecraft story mode. A hole was punched somewhere and lava was leaking out. Fire is a pain to put out. You get rid of some fire, it spreads to two more places. Gods, he needed to help the poor little pig who was running into the woods because if Techno remembered correctly, the little pig saves the world or something because obviously nobody could do it without the superiority of a pig on your side.
Techno enters a clearing where he sees the poor pig cowering in a corner. He also hears someone trampling the bushes behind him. Better to not engage in a battle if he didn't have to, but if they were gonna hurt the poor piglet, violence was perfectly valid.
"Show yourself, I know you're there. I also have an iron sword and plenty of combat experience, don't try me. Also, if you hurt this little piglet, I will hurt you," Techno says.
"First of all, Reuben is MY pig, second of all, what are you, you look like a pig in a crown. Third, my name's Jesse. What's yours?" the guy asked.
"Oh. Wait. I forgot about that. Hullo. I'm Technoblade, a pig in a crown fits, I don't know what I am either. Oh wait, it's almost night, I forgot, oh no there's zombies, I'm gonna go demolish them. Bye, now get Reuben outta here, nerd!" Techno slammed into zombies with his sword, all that was left was a few pieces of rotten flesh within a minute. Jesse and Reuben didn't go, they found a girl watching the combat in the woods, stepping out to see him.
"Hi, my name's Petra, how did you take on that many mobs like it was nothing! One minute I saw like ten zombies surrounding you, the next there were none. What's your name?" the girl started waiting for an answer. Oh. Oh no, he was becoming part of the dump that was the worst gaming experience in his life, why did this have to happen to him.
"Uh, I'm Technoblade. I don't even know what species I am, according to the lore I'm a piglin hybrid but I think pig hybrid is more accurate, I dunno. I'm an English Major and uh. I'm very good at fighting? They don't call me the Blood God for no reason, I beat Dream in a 1V1. By the way, Petra, I hear you have a Wither skull? Don't give it to that guy and I'll pay you a diamond. He's already got two and they're placed on a T-shape of soul sand. Spark anything in your head? Nobody wants to deal with one of the Withers. He's gonna scam you anyway, a skull is not worth a diamond, even if he gave you one."
"Stay out of my life, I can make deals I want to make." Petra stormed out of there, oof that was not what he wanted. At least Jesse said a nice "Bye, sorry about her," but still, these people are rude. Looks like the Witherstorm arc can't be stopped. Bruh. That's what you get for trying to save someone, I suppose. Heh, this is gonna be interesting.
Techno went towards the basement that one guy who made it all happen spawned the Witherstorm in. The healing potion was going to be his! Now, at the big fan area of the Order of the Stone dude, Techno whipped out a sword.
"Let me through to the Gabriel event or I chop your head off, idiot." Techno said. It was to save everyone, you know.
"I am not allowing you through the gate."
Techno simply drop kicked that rando like he drop kicks orphans.
"Technoblade never dies, nerd."
Okay. Time for him to save everyone. But by the time he was there, Ivor was talking about the Storm.
"Creature, retreat!" Ivor was saying.
Techno walked forward and said "Hullo, idiots. Yeah, I don't think your creature is listening. Axel, throw the real thing or you are all going to die."
Axel threw the potion. It only weakened the beast enough for Techno to draw his sword and stab it. Once Techno realized it won't work, he shouted "Run, I'll be fine, because Technoblade Never Dies!"
Once everyone started running, Techno tried to slow the Storm down. He stabbed at the command block a ton, but it was useless. They were at a stalemate, Techno stabbing the Storm while the Storm kept regenerating and healing. At this rate, the Storm would tire Techno out before he could kill it. Now the only logical thing to do was run, using a bow with low durability and some arrows. He was grateful that the mobs attacked him, otherwise he wouldn't have the bow and arrows. Nothing lasts forever though, the bow snapping and only three more arrows in his inventory. He dashed to the safe room, where the Nether portal was being built and the guys with plot armor were. He could follow through with killing Lukas, but now was not the time, and he wasn't ready to take a life. It was a joke on his streams, what did people expect?
"You survived!?" Gabriel said.
"Yeah, but you gotta move, nerd." Techno snapped back. With the group already in the portal room with a lit portal, Techno set some TNT up, lit it while he walked through, and blew it up.
"Wait, you battled the Storm, didn't you?" The girl, Petra, said. "How are you alive?"
"I wouldn't have had to battle the Storm if someone didn't give Ivor the last skull!" Techno said, and Petra had a guilty look on her face. "Yes, I did fight it, but when the thing you're fighting constantly heals itself, I can't kill it. I would need a sharp 5 sword for that. Also doesn't help when you have a low durability bow and about twenty arrows. My name's Technoblade, and I don't know yours."
The people introduce themselves and then Techno hears Lukas.
"I'm Lukas, part of the Ocelots." Lukas said. Techno was not missing out on bullying Lukas!
"There is an impostor among us." Techno said, knowing full well nobody knew what that meant.
"What? Who!" Axel said. Techno points to Lukas.
"Anyhow, we should get moving. Nether travel is 8 times faster, so the Storm would be long gone. Who's base is the furthest from here? We should go there." Techno said, hoping at least one of them had a good base to gear up at. Gabriel raised his hand.
"The Order's base is far enough that we should have a while."
"Okay. Lead the way then." Techno said. They saw minecarts soon enough, deciding that they were good to use. They were just lazy, but climbing in the carts and riding was likely faster than walking.
"Okay. Techno, are you willing to take the front?" Gabriel asks, and Techno frowns.
"Duh, all of you nerds are gonna die if I don't, imagine not being able to kill a witherstorm. Except for you, Reuben. The only one who can take on the Storm because pigs are just better. Now get in or I will drop kick you into the carts" Techno said while hopping in his own cart. Everyone does the same, fearing the wrath of the Blade.
They all traveled through the Nether using the Minecarts. It was all fine, Techno flinging any fireballs back at the few Ghasts they found. A few close calls, that's all. They arrived at the portal, Techno stepping through immediately, finding him sheathing his sword and rotten flesh on the floor.
"I can keep watch, all you nerds can sleep." Techno said. They all agreed, too tired to argue. Techno stayed up all night, the few people who woke up saw him fighting mobs relentlessly. he ended the night with a bunch of armor, some iron swords, (He combined those into a better sword, the iron sword he crafted was almost broken so he fused it with his new loot) giving a few pieces of armor for each of them. (He crafted pig armor somehow, using the horse armor recipe and making it smaller) Reuben got full iron armor, Jesse got a gold chestplate with a leather helmet, Techno took full iron, repairing anything he had damaged, Petra got a chain helmet with gold boots and an iron enchanted sword with low durability, Axel got blast protection gold boots, and Olivia got full leather unenchanted armor. Lukas just got an unenchanted low durability gold sword. Techno definitely did not do that on purpose. Techno also had five enchanted bows and three unenchanted bows, but he kept them all. The others probably can't aim, better for him to have good stuff than them wasting arrows.
"Guys, I got a few things to say. First, Gabriel, lead us to the hideout. Second, everyone be on the lookout for the Storm. I gave you defenses so you can last more than three seconds against the storm, use it wisely." Techno said. Gabriel led them to the base, Techno immediately getting everyone through the temple and snatching the amulet. He gave it to Gabriel, who put it in position and located the other members of the Order. Techno said "The green one's Mr. TNT, right? Yep, I'm gonna go get him. Everyone else, go with me or go to get the redstone girl. I will choose Reuben over anyone else, just saying. He will be safe with me."
Jesse inevitably chose Techno's group, along with Axel. Gabriel and Olivia were going to Redstonia and Lukas was staying here. So was Petra. Techno set off to Boom Town.
"Bro, L'manberg is a better name than Boom Town. Even Pogtopia, Kinoko Kingdom, Las Nevadas, and Snowchester are better! Bruh, TNT dude is not creative at all, is he?" Techno complained. Nobody said anything except Reuben, who oinked in agreement. "See, Reuben gets it!" Techno huffed, stopping in front of a town that looked worse than 2B2T. To be fair, 2B2T was built with anarchy in mind and people also ended up building lava casts. Techno built a lava cast to emphasize the anarchy look. Everyone stared at him.
"What, it's an anarchy area so I made it more anarchy! These griefers are doing things wrong." Techno said. "TNT GUY! GET OVER HERE!" Techno shouted, voice rippling all over. Someone tried to steal Jesse's amulet. Techno held the sword out, grabbed the person's wrist, and said "People who steal need their hands, right? If I let you go, you can go back to wherever you came from and avoid us. If I catch you trying to steal again, I cut your hand off. Or we can skip to the second option right now. What will it be?"
The person screeched, Techno released them and they went running into one of the houses. He stormed homes, breaking things, until he made his way to TNT guy's megabase.
"The guys name is Magnet, right?" Techno said.
"Magnus" Jesse corrected.
"MAGNUS COME OUT OR I WILL LAVACAST YOUR HOME!" Techno said. Magnus did not respond in time and soon the house was covered in a thick layer of cobblestone. Magnus finally came out after breaking the cobblestone blocking the entrance.
"Hello, what made you grief my house?" Magnus said, and Techno facepalmed.
"I shouted for you and you didn't come out. Duh." Techno said.
"Okay, what do you need me for?" Magnus asked.
"Okay guys, Jesse, Axel, get over here!" When they came over, Techno held Magnus by his shirt collar and started walking back. Magnus gave up after a couple minutes of struggling. They went to base like that, Magnus being dragged with them toward the base. Lukas and Petra saw them coming back with Magnus being dragged halfway on the ground and looked at Jesse and Axel.
"What happened?" Petra asked.
"Techno dragged the poor guy here the entire way. He was screaming too." Axel said. Poor Axel, Magnus was his favorite member of the Order. Jesse came back with Redstone Girl later.
"ELLEGARD, GABRIEL, YOU'RE HERE? SAVE MEEEEEE!" Magnus screamed. Ellegard looked at Olivia and Gabriel. Gabriel shared a nod with Ellegard to go see Magnus. When they got there, they saw Techno holding him by his shirt collar facing the wall.
"Oh, nerds, you got Ellegard. Okay, let's go. You can have Psyco over here if you want." Techno dropped Magnus. Despite not liking each other, Magnus and Ellegard sat down and talked to each other, Gabriel comforting both of them as much as possible after what they just witnessed.
Techno shouted "Do ya wanna stay here and let the Storm attack or do you wanna not stay and get moving right now. We should probably go for the other Stone member, Sore or whatever."
They all looked at each other and started getting ready to go. They traveled, Techno told Lukas to check on his team so he left, thank God, and they soon arrived at Sorrens base with Techno in the lead because he remembers the way. Chat was still screaming in his mind, telling him where to go.
They entered Sorrens base. It looked like a mansion compared to Tommy's shack, but like trash compared to Hermitcraft builds.
"Wow, this build is amazing!" Jesse said. Techno decided to stare.
"Nah. It really isn't because even the worst builder in Hermitcraft can build better than this. Even I can build better because instead of flexing on how much effort I put into it I just make it look cozy. My friend lives in a dirt shack but it looks lived in. This looks like nobody gets anything done but cleaning. Like, seriously. This place is spotless and looks too clean that it freaks me out." Techno complained. He wasn't actually freaked out, houses are supposed to be kinda clean.
Bruh, he forgets the entire trip. Wool room, Endermen, running away from said Endermen, Chat screaming L for no reason, the usual. Now he comes back into reality running twoard the Storm with the F-Bomb. (If you don't get that joke then you probably shouldnt be watching Dream SMP content) Jesse crafted the F bomb and threw it at the Storm while Techno dragged Jesse away from the beam. The usual. He forced Ellegard to hand the armor instead of Magnus. Jk it just happened that way but he said who is more useful if they need to fight and Magnus is the obvious answer. Both lived though, Ellegard just took a borrowed set of armor from Techno. Anyway, the F bomb fails and they find a place to camp out. He expected that much.
"Is that Ivor?" Techno hinted. They were outside of a cave and Ivor was there too. Techno forcefully restrained Ivor. "You would have a backup plan. Tell us where or die." Techno threatened. He was bluffing but the blade next to Ivor convinced the dude to spit out the truth. That was how they ended up on horses travelling.
"Im so sore!" Complained a nerd.
"So am I! We should rest." Shouted someone. Techno sighed for the millionth time and facepalmed.
Still updating this chapter as of now. I might add lifestealers for jokes but havent decided. Probably am tho.